 
TO THE WOMAN HE LOVES

By Theresa Hodge and Shani Greene-Dowdell

All Rights Reserved ©

Smashwords Edition
DEDICATION

We've had women tell us this is their story...

To the Woman He Loves is dedicated to any woman who lives in fear of her own truth, and in remembrance of those who lost their fight with cancer.

The battle rages on.

Theresa

Shani

To The Woman He Loves,

I'm writing this letter with tears in my heart and a heart that is heavy as lead. I contemplated writing this letter to the other woman, to the woman who seems to have stolen my husband's heart from beneath me. So many emotions are warring through my head and heart right now. I want to hate you and lash out at you with all the hatred that is coursing through my veins like venomous poison.

Even in all this beauty around me, the sand that glitters beneath my feet and the sunlight gleaming down on me brightly from above, it's not enough to lessen the pain that fills my heart brought on by you and Ronan. I look around at the seagulls dashing to and fro as the waves flow in the distance and think I should be enjoying this moment with the love of my life.

I think of how I should be in this place kissing my husband under the crowning sunsets and frolicking in the water with our wet bodies plastered to one another like newlyweds. I think of how we can't keep our hands off of each other long enough to get back to our room to make love, to make beautiful and wonderful love, so he takes me beneath the glorious stars as he makes love to me slowly but passionately. But because of your indiscretions, I'm on this beach alone, sitting beneath this umbrella with tears staining my cheeks, knowing that you don't give a damn about the pain you have caused from your selfishness.

Ronan is my husband, yet I'm sure you feel as if I'm the intruder in this three-way relationship. I wonder how this could be possible when you're the interloper. I hate myself for all of these nagging doubts of me no longer being woman enough for my husband. I hate myself for letting my already staggering self-esteem be shot straight to hell, all because of you.

I have a question for you, many questions really, but this one will suffice for the time being. Did you ever think about me and my children when you decided to lie down with my husband?

Your actions will hurt more than me. My children are my all, just like I once thought Ronan was and I was his. There go those nagging doubts again making me wonder if anything between me and Ronan was real for all of these years.

I have given the best years of my life to this man. I made some bad choices when I kept a very important secret from him. Why I'm telling you this is beyond me, but I need to let it out. See, it was during this time that you found a weak link in our fence and you entered to destroy the sanctity of our marriage. I know he's more at fault, but you know about me. You met me at the company party and smiled in my face.

I felt that maybe if I explained this to you it would help me own up to my own part in this mess. I'm not going to linger in giving you insight into my reality, so here are the facts. My annual exam showed I had stage one squamous cell carcinoma on my right ovary. I hid this fact from my husband because of the way my parent's marriage ended when I was a young girl. I even went as far as to have surgery without him knowing. The surgery removed it all, thank God. The problems started when my body needed time to heal. I know, as surely as I am breathing, this is when you entered the picture.

The devil found his way in through my secrets and lies. I own my part in this; I should have trusted my husband. These "should haves" plague me deep in my soul. I guess I am appealing to your sense of morals to walk away from my husband. I still love him with all of my heart, but I must know that I have his heart.

If you're any kind of woman, you will allow him to go and let him recommit himself to our marriage and family without further temptation.

From a woman who still loves her husband,

Ruby Michaels
Chapter 1

Ruby

October 8, 2005

It was a dream. I was fresh out of Spelman College with a degree in business administration and I was about to embark upon a once in a lifetime experience. Billion-dollar construction company, Turner Enterprises, had offered me a paid internship. Not only was I finally able to get off my sister's sofa and move into my own apartment, I'd be gleaning business experience from powerful men like Mr. Ronan Michaels.

"Hello, I'm Ruby Holloway and I'm here for an appointment with Mr. Michaels," I said as I approached the desk of a pretty woman who had auburn colored hair cascading around her petite shoulders in an array of curls.

"Hello Ms. Holloway, I'll buzz Mr. Michaels now. Give me just a second," she said before picking up her phone and speaking. "Mr. Michaels, Mrs. Holloway is here for her appointment. Would you like for me to bring her back now?"

"Come with me Ms. Holloway," she said after hanging up the phone. The smile in her voice matched the one on her face, proof that she loved her job. I smiled through my nervousness as I followed her to a corner office. Pushing the door open, she announced, "Mr. Michaels this is Ruby Holloway."

"Thanks Jessica."

Shaking any sign of nervousness away, I walked into the office. "I'm Ruby Holloway. I'm here for my first day as an intern," I said with a satisfactory infusion of confidence.

"Very nice to meet you, Ms. Holloway. It is Miss, right?" Ronan asked in a sultry baritone voice, as he unfolded from his chair. His blazing silver gaze and tall muscular frame captured me and caused my breath to catch in my chest.

Taking my hand for a proper greeting, his large fingers curled around my small hand. The warmth from his caress warmed me to my core, as I looked up into his signature silver eyes and became momentarily entranced. I had been forewarned by his last intern from Spelman that his orbs were death traps, and that so many women had been captured and never broke free of their spell.

"You look a little flushed. Should I have Jessica bring you some water or juice, Ms. Holloway?" he offered.

The scent of his cologne assailed my nostrils, causing an immediate reaction of moisture pooling inside my panties.

Goodness. There's no ring on his finger.

"No." I coughed in attempt to free myself of his aura that arrested my senses. "I'm fine. Please call me Ruby...everyone calls me Ruby," I said, finding my voice, albeit shaky.

"Ruby, it is then. Ruby is a beautiful name by the way," he said as his eyes scanned my face with a hearty smile.

Remembering the reason I was standing in this expansive office, his space, I tore my eyes away from his handsome face and scanned the room.

Get a grip. This opportunity is too big to blow on the first day over a childish attraction.

But Ronan Michaels had a sister all up in her feelings. He was fine as the day the good Lord made him. I'm talking wavy chestnut brown hair, ivory skin that had been kissed by the sun, chiseled jawline and prominent shoulders. He wore a business suit cut just for him, covering a hunk of muscles. His lips looked drinkable, like a sweet, red wine. And those silver eyes made me swoon every time I connected with them. I shook my head slightly in attempt to shake the hot and flustered way I felt away.

"Well, Ruby, I want to welcome you onboard. I feel confident that you will enjoy this internship experience. In our search for extraordinary people, your resume rose to the top. At Turner, we're only interested in people who can help assure we remain innovative leaders in our industry," he began.

"Thank you! I'm lucky to have been chosen, Mr. Michaels. I'm looking forward to working with you and you won't regret it," I said as excitement coursed through my veins.

"And it's going to be an experience like no other," he said as his left brow rose slightly. Under the pressure of his stare, chills shot over me and headed straight to my core. We stood in awkward silence for a few more seconds. "Have a seat, so I can go over a few things with you," Ronan pointed to the chair in front of his desk.

"Thank you."

He pulled out a file with my name on it. "Jessica sent me all of your paperwork and, while I didn't get a chance to interview you personally, I signed off on your application package, because I'm impressed with how well you did in school and your rave recommendations from your prior internships."

"Thanks, Mr. Michaels. I've worked hard to get where am and I intend to work even harder for Turner Enterprises. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to rise to the next level." Well, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. The salacious thoughts that involved us lying horizontal together I had no intentions doing.

He nodded and began explaining Turner's diversity initiatives. For the next few hours, we went over company expectations and my job description as a quality control intern. After his brief orientation, he showed me my office.

"Jessica will be emailing you your first assignment in a few minutes. Are you ready to get started?" he asked as he stood beside my desk.

My desk. "I'm so ready, Mr. Michaels. I'm going to show and prove that I deserve the opportunity you gave me. I will earn this position on the merit of my work," I said as I looked around my very own office. My office. Ideas for decorating it ran through my mind.

"I'm sure you will do just fine, Ms. Holloway. I'm sure you will," Ronan said before he walked out of my office and back to his.
Chapter 2

Ruby

I started what seemed like my hundredth assignment since I started with the company last month. All I wanted was a cup of extra strong coffee to help me get through the day, but I ended up in the breakroom listening to Eliza Jakes gossip about any and everybody at Turner Enterprises.

"You know Ronan's grandmother was an Irish woman who had Italian blood. They say she died and left him a trust fund the size of the Miami River," Eliza said, as she pushed down on the lever to pour coffee into her Styrofoam cup.

Eliza was that intern that seemingly lived to keep the watercooler buzz flowing. The way she kept mess flowing around, it was a guarantee that she would be jobless at the end of her assignment.

Halfheartedly listening, I took the lid off my mug. "No, I hadn't heard that," I said as I began filling my mug. Time was a rare commodity. Spending it gossiping was a no go.

"Well, you work for his fine ass. What do you think of him?" Eliza pried.

"I think Mr. Michaels is a great boss. Beyond that, I don't have any thoughts of him."

"Great huh? Are you sure you're not getting it on with him? They say he gets it on with all his interns. Oh, he gets around with the ladies," she said, moving her eyebrows up and down suggestively with a big grin crowning her round face.

"I'm doing no such thing! And, don't speak to me like that. I haven't heard anything about Mr. Michaels getting around, except from you, Eliza. Where do you get your information?" I snapped at her, as I put the lid back on my mug.

"Oh, testy, testy. Don't you worry about how I get my information. Just know that I have my ways of finding things out," she said with a smirk. "And, if you knew what was good for you, you'd be trying to get you a piece of that sexy beast. The trust his grandmother left him, he invested it and became very wealthy," said Eliza as she looked off, as if she were imagining herself somewhere on an island taking a break from her latest shopping spree with Ronan's money.

"People will say anything," I mumbled. Why would Ronan work as hard as he did for Turner, if he had his own fortune? He easily could've started his own company or spent his days sipping his favorite scotch with a mansion filled with exotic women. Eliza didn't know what she was talking about, and, even if she did, it was none of our business.

"Well, since you don't want him, send him my way," Eliza said.

"O–kay sure, Eliza. I'll jump right on that," I said sarcastically as I backed out of the breakroom, erasing everything she'd just said from my mind.

On my way back to my office, I dropped by Mr. Michael's office to update him on a purchase order. His silver eyes met mine, and a jolt of lightning traveled through me. I stopped in my tracks beside his door frozen like an iceberg, but my insides were melting like a bubbling pot of honey.

"Hello," his smooth as velvet voice acknowledged me.

Wavy chestnut hair brushed against his neckline complimenting his radiant skin. My fingers itched to tap dance through its silky texture. More moisture pooled in my panties. It was a daily occurrence, which was why I kept an extra pair of panties at my desk.

"Hello, Mr. Michaels." I tore away from his gaze, and my eyes traveled to the notes in my hand. "I have an update on the risers you wanted me to check on. After researching about fifty companies, I found that Telgin has them one thousand dollars cheaper per item when ordered in bulk."

"What's the minimum we can purchase on a bulk order?" he asked.

Eyes still glued to my notes, I read off the numbers I had gathered. "Bulk starts at five hundred items."

I chanced a glance at him. He was writing notes of his own, while nodding his head. "Get a rep from Telgin on the phone and schedule a meeting for us to discuss testing out their products. If the quality is good and they're made in America, we will use them. This will save us a chunk of our budget, if the product is comparable," he said with an astonished smile.

"Yes, it will sir. I will call them right away," I said, turning to leave.

"Ruby," he said, addressing me by my first name for the first time. "I'm impressed."

"Thank you. I try."

"You help out around here more than you know, Ruby."

"Do you need me to do anything else today?"

"Yes, but I will email you the details," he said.

"Yes sir." I sauntered to my office and placed a call to Telgin's director of sales. He was enthusiastic about meeting with us in person the following day. I checked Mr. Michael's schedule and made the appointment before returning my attention to doing more research.

***

"Ruby, you really should somewhere dancing and enjoying yourself on a Friday night. What are you doing still cooped up in this office?" Mr. Michaels asked, when he walked into my office at 5:48 p.m., according to the clock on my computer screen.

"I haven't looked at the time in a while. I didn't realize it was so late. But I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed for the shopping center project that's nearing completion," I said on a long yawn.

"Well, you have done an excellent job so far Ruby. Better than expected, actually. I'm going to have to insist that you pack up and get out of here. I can't have you getting burned out on me. I need you," he said, as he rubbed his hand over his stubble.

He needs me. Now, that brought a smile to my face.

"I'm fine, Mr. Michaels. I have a few more reports to do and then I'm out of here. Thanks for checking on me, though."

He walked around my desk until he was facing my computer. The woodsy scent of his cologne permeated my nostrils and warmed me over. His eyes clashed with mine and there was no denying the blazing attraction that ignited in the small, enclosed space of my office.

"Ruby, it's against the rules for employees to fraternize, and especially for bosses and employees, but, if it'll get you away from this computer, I'd like for you to have dinner with me."

I restrained myself from fanning my hot, flushed cheeks. Deliberate inhales and exhales slowed my erratic heartbeat. His request appealed to my repressed desire to know him in the most intimate way. But, I didn't want to get ahead of myself and feel completely embarrassed later.

"Will this be a dinner to discuss work?" I asked.

"No...I want to get you as far away from work as possible," he said, and his eyes ripped my clothes off stitch by stitch. His tongue slid across his lips with promises of what he would do with it if my naked body was at his disposal.

"Oh..."

"What I want to discuss more than what you can do here at the office," he said.

"Mr. Michaels..."

"Yeah, that's another thing. Start calling me Ronan."

"I'll have dinner with you, but only dinner," I said for my benefit more so than his. "Thanks for rescuing me from this pile of work, Ronan."

I laughed, loving the sound of his name on my lips.
Chapter 3

Ronan

The very first day she walked her mocha brown sweetness into my office, I fell for Ruby...hard. My brain held my body at bay, until the night I took her out to Calabre's Bistro. We laughed and talked until it was time for the place to close down. Even as the workers finished cleaning the building and were ready to leave, I didn't want our date to end.

I courted her the next few months, sending her flowers and taking her on romantic dates. I had the intensity of a white knight wooing his African American queen. It was like a dream come true to have a down-to-earth, hardworking woman like Ruby to spend my time with. In my circles, I ran across some very superficial people.

Ruby reminded me a lot of my grandma. She was a regal, virtuous woman who bestowed me with genuine love.

Hiding our feelings at work became impossible after the first time I made love to her. We'd been dating officially three months, when I picked her up for an outdoor concert at Bayfront Park Amphitheatre. It was a hot summer evening. I rummaged through grandma's old things and found a rustic picnic basket. I packed us a lunch that included an expensive bottle of chilled wine.

I fed Ruby seductively as we sat on a blanket on the soft grass underneath the stars. She sucked my fingers into her mouth as we gazed into each other's eyes. I wanted to eat her alive.

The way she surrendered to me, along with the blues and soul music and fruity wine, lured me deeper under her spell. That night under the stars, we sealed our love and devotion with a kiss. I kissed her soft lips and held her close for the entire concert.

When we got back to her apartment at the end of our date, we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. After spending my adult life daring to fall in love, all I wanted to do was make sweet love to Ruby.

I laid her down on her bed and slowly stripped her clothes from her body. Before removing my clothes and showing her the ways of my love, I slowly kissed my way ever so gently up and down her entire body. Slow was how I wanted to take her. Each everlasting moment was to be savored.

Her eyes widened in surprise when I removed my briefs. Before I could read her, she looked away from me. I reunited us with my tongue making its way from her neck to her lips. "What was that look for?" I asked, as I kissed the corners of her lips.

"Ronan, there's something I have to tell you."

I kissed her lips again and asked, "What is it?" My voice had become deep and laced with drunken desire.

"I'm still..."

"Are you not ready for this, Ruby? Do you want me to stop?" I asked as I rolled over into the space beside her on the bed.

"No, I don't want you to stop. It's just that...well, I'm a virgin," she said, her body tensing as she spoke.

"You're a what?"

"Yes, I'm a virgin." She nodded her head.

"How old are you, Ruby?"

"Twenty four, just like I told you already," she said, taking a defensive tone.

"You're only five years younger than me. I assumed you were experienced."

She crossed her arms across her chest. "If you're looking for an experienced woman, Ronan, then you're in the wrong place," she said as she attempted to move from the bed.

"Ruby, you're the one for me. I just didn't know this was your first time. Your first time should be special. I mean, we can wait," I said, although my body was unwavering and anxious to cover hers like a blanket.

She climbed on top of me and kissed my lips. Her hot, minty breath brushed against the skin of my face as she said, "You being my first and my forever would be special. The question is can you be that for me, Ronan?"

Flipping her onto her back, I riddled her lips with an onslaught of rough kisses. I sheathed myself with a lamb skin condom to protect her before entering her sweet center ever so gently.

"I can be that for you, my sweet Ruby," I said, taking as much care as needed not to hurt her, while her virginal pussy stretched to accommodate my size.

She bit into my shoulder as her tight flower spread its petals. I soothed her with loving words until I had reached the depth of her snug core. Her hot breath sighed against my ear.

"Don't tense up, Ruby. Let me have all of you."

"Ronan," she whispered as she released the tension from her body.

"Ahhh, my sweet Ruby. You're doing good...you feel good too. Stay just like that," I said as I thrust my tongue into her mouth to capture the taste of her precious kiss once more.

As I moved inside of her, I felt myself come alive. Knowing that she trusted her virginity with me stirred pleasurable sensations in me in a way like never before. Ruby was a beloved gem that had been made for me.

My hand slid between our bodies to touch her nub. On impact, her body rippled with vibrations from the depths of her soul. When she sighed most delightfully into my mouth and began to undulate her hips in a slow rhythm beneath my thrusting body, I came like fireworks bursting into air.

That night, while lying with her in my arms, I told her how I felt about her. She was sleeping in my arms like an angel, when I whispered in her ear. "Ruby?"

She slowly opened her eyes. "Yes Ronan?"

"I can't walk in that office tomorrow and act like this didn't happen," I began.

"I'd hope that you wouldn't ever act like we didn't make love," she said with a confused look.

"What I'm trying to say is I want you to quit your job so we can be together with no inhibitions. So we won't have to hide our love for each other. I don't want you to have to deal with the office gossip once Eliza sees the way I look at you."

She laughed. "I'm not afraid of Eliza, Ronan."

"I've heard she spreads quite a story around the office about me. As soon as I fill her position, she's out of there," I said. "But even with her gone though, I want to be able to freely love you."

"It'll be tough, but we can do it, Ronan."

"But I want you to let me take care of you, in every way." I stroked her cheek with my finger. "I want you to quit."

Ruby sat up in the bed on her elbows.

"No, I'm not quitting my job! This is the best job I ever had. Before I got it, I was sleeping on my sister's sofa and barely able to take care of myself, which is something I don't ever intend to do again. I have to think of my future, too," she said as worry lines appeared on her forehead. "Maybe this was all a mistake. Please don't fire me because we slept together."

I could see the deep sadness in her eyes as her mind raced. "Ruby, listen to me. I would never fire you," I said, forcing her to look at me. "I just want to offer you a more permanent position. You don't have to give up your ambitions; I just want to be the one taking care of you. I'll help you find a better job in the industry, if you want to work. But being with me, you have options. If that's being a homemaker, you can. If you want to go back to school for your master's degree, you can. If you want to start a charity and make a change in the community, you can. I just want to create an environment where we can be together without any inhibitions."

"And you feel there's no way we can do that with me working at Turner?"

"It's best not to mix business with pleasure," I said.

"It's kind of late for that, wouldn't you say?" she asked, glossing over my naked body.

"Yeah, but this couldn't be denied. I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and I'll do anything to maintain our connection."

"Ronan, can I trust you to do the things you say?" she asked, as her beautiful brown eyes drew me into her soul.

"You just trusted me with your virginity. Don't you trust the things I say to you?"

"I do, it's just..."

"I'm not asking you to be my sack buddy, Ruby. I feel strongly about you. I know I'm asking you to give up a lot. How about if I give you a check worth two years' salary for assurance of my commitment to you?"

"Ronan, you don't have to do that."

"But I will, if that makes you feel more comfortable about your future. I want to build our foundation so our relationship will go far, and that wouldn't be best in a boss/employee atmosphere."

"You don't have to pay me to be with you, Ronan."

"I just don't want money to be an issue in your decision."

She held my face in her hands, as if she were searching for sincerity. "I'll put in a two weeks' notice Monday morning," she said before pulling my lips to hers for a kiss.

Chapter 4

Ruby

Sure, I had my reservations about quitting my job. It took a big leap of faith to walk through the doors with my two-week notice in hand. Ronan never gave me a reason to look back at the position I vacated. The two-year salary advance was nothing compared to the security I felt with him. He moved me out of my apartment and into a condo that was paid for and in my name the week after I left Turner Enterprises. The following year, I was Mrs. Ruby Michaels.

My wedding day was the second happiest day of my life, with the first happiest day being when Ronan made sweet love to me for the first time. It was like a classic fairytale. I felt like a true princess on the eve of becoming a queen as my sister, Emerald, helped me into my princess cut wedding dress.

"Emmy, I can't believe this is happening," I said as I admired what seemed like a thousand rubies attached to my frothy wedding dress with the gathered bodice.

"If you think this is something, wait until you see the gold satin draping over the chairs with strings of rubies sweeping down the centerpieces that match your dress," Emmy said, pausing to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing. I just wish mom were here, so she could see how beautiful you look. She would be so proud," Emmy said.

I had vowed not to get sad about the absence of our mother, the most loving woman to ever live. She lost her battle with breast cancer when I was a young girl, so a lot of cherished moments passed by without her beautiful smile.

"Emmy..." I placed an arm around my sister's neck. "Mom is always with me. Her spirit comforts me in times of need, just like she never left."

"I just miss her so much," Emmy cooed as a tear fell from her eye.

"I do too," I said, hugging her neck tight. I then handed her my ruby earrings. "Here, put these on for me. We're going to have a fabulous time today, so I want you to smile and enjoy the moment. Mom would want that for us both."

"Ruby, you were always the one that made everyone feel better. You've always been my rock and I appreciate you for it," Emmy said as she smiled heartily at me and finished helping me get dressed.

Through our silence, I could imagine mama singing her favorite song. Then, Emmy started humming I Won't Complain, and it was as if mom was right there with us.

"All of my good days, outweigh my bad days. I won't complain," she sang.

"See, mom is here," I said touching the place over her heart.

Emmy hugged me close to her bosom. "Awe, sis, yes she is. And, I'm so happy for you. You're gorgeous." She lifted my train for me to walk into the hallway and line up with the wedding party.

A few minutes later, I strolled into the chapel feeling like a modern-day Cinderella. My cascading bridal bouquet with a single red rose placed in the center of fragrant blossoms was Ronan's idea. He had said I bloomed for him like the velvety petals of a rose when he took my virginity, and each rose was a symbol of the love I'd given to him.

I still get the chills when I think of the way Ronan's eyes held mine as I floated down the aisle on my way to devote my life to him and live out my fairytale dream. Yes, I floated on clouds toward the one man I loved more than anything. I remember every vow Ronan promised me that day.

"My sweet Ruby, I promise to love you and protect you all the days of your life. I promise to be your shelter from any and all storms and to wipe your tears away when you're sad. I will always respect you and never take for granted the beautiful woman God has entrusted to become my wife. You are my soulmate who completes me in every way. I pledge in front of man and God to never be the source of your heartbreak. To break your heart would be like breaking my own, because you are my heart. One heartbeat that beats as one. Last but not least, I promise to never take you or what we have for granted, from this day forward, forevermore."

His vows were so touching that I did nothing to stop the happy tears that flowed freely. Ronan touched my face ever so tenderly to wipe them away. I had written my vows on an index card a month before our wedding, but I decided not to read them and spoke from my heart instead.

"I promise to be a faithful and dutiful wife and mother to our future children. I promise to always be open and honest with you, and I promise to protect your heart as if it were my very own. I promise to never go to bed with anger and to love you, Ronan Michaels, with every fiber of my being. When I pray at night, you are the first person I pray for. And when I rise, your smile is the first vision in my mind. I thank you for being the man that you are. I couldn't be blessed with a better man to be my husband. My mind, body and soul are yours for as long as I live, now and for all of eternity."

Pledging our love on that day, I was never more alive and fulfilled when the minister pronounced us as husband and wife. I was ecstatic. We were happy and so in love. I never would've guessed that my best days were behind me.
Chapter 5

Ruby

Ten Years Later

"You know, I could always catch a later flight," Ronan said as he rocked me side to side in his embrace. We stood near our bedroom door, neither one wanting to let go. Our love for one another was like a burning ember that refused to ever die.

"I would love for you to stay a little longer, but you have to get going. You don't want to miss your flight," I told Ronan as I placed a hand on his broad shoulder.

I was a bundle of nerves as I helped him get ready for his business trip. The longer he stayed home, the harder it was to hold my façade together. Chances of Ronan noticing the sadness lingering behind my smile grew with each passing minute. He had to catch his flight, so he could go to a business retreat, and so I'd be left to face the scariest ordeal of my life, alone.

"What's bothering you, Ruby?" Ronan asked. The passionate way he looked at me told me he was reading me like a book. He was attuned to my every mood. This very fact could work against me, if I didn't play my cards just right. I had to do something to prove to him that I was okay before he would leave.

"I'm fine, honey," I lied as I buried my anxiety into the deepest recess of my being.

Months of empty smiles, senseless lies, and cover ups were beginning to wear down on me. It wasn't easy to walk around and act like my body hadn't been occupied by a terrible disease, when Ronan and I had been connected on every level in such a deep way. Deceiving my husband, whom I loved more than life itself, was the hardest thing I ever did. But he had to think everything was fine. I didn't want him stressing about me.

"That's what you keep saying, but underneath that gorgeous smile of yours I feel like there's something wrong. My gut tells me that I need to stay here and be with you, instead of going on this trip. When I get feelings like this, it's usually something to it. Tell me what's going on with you, Ruby," Ronan said as he leaned his face to the side and kissed my hand that was resting on his shoulder.

"There's nothing to tell. Everything is fine, Ronan."

"Take off your cape, stop trying to be superwoman and let me be there for you, for once, Ruby."

My heart fluttered as I withdrew from him and walked away. Ronan was my greatest source of energy, but what I had to deal with today I had to face alone. My knight in shining armor couldn't fix cancer, and I couldn't stand the thought of his many possible reactions to my grim news.

"I'm perfectly fine," I assured him with a bright smile plastered across my lips. "I just get a little worried about you traveling is all," I said as I rummaged through the jewelry on my dresser, attempting in vain to find a pair of earrings. My mind was so far away, I couldn't even concentrate on the minor task of putting on jewelry.

Ronan picked up a pair of ruby earrings with encrusted diamonds that he'd gotten me for my birthday. "Here, wear these. A ruby for my rarest of Ruby's," he said handing them to me. His choice caused a genuine smile to appear on my lips. "Do you want me to put them on?" he asked.

"Thanks, babe," I said, examining his handsome tanned face. He smiled at me as I offered each earlobe for him to place the earrings on. His hand upon my ear sent warmth traveling through my aching body.

His hand touched the length of my hair. I cringed inside as I thought about the possibility of chemotherapy thinning and shedding every strand of my hair away.

Ronan, placed my hair behind my ear that had been in my face hiding the sorrow in my eyes. "I like seeing your natural hair, Ruby. I know you like to wear your array of wigs, but your natural hair is so much more beautiful."

I took a quick step away from him before I said, "Babe, you have to go. Now, go on and go." I shooed him toward the door, while faking another smile to solidify the fact that nothing was wrong with me. I didn't want to talk about my hair with him. It forced me to think of my future... Our future. And it was too painful.

"Perhaps I'll leave, now that you have a real smile on your face," he said, turning me around and pulling me in for a long hug. "I've been with the company ten years and this never gets easier. I'm really going to miss you while I'm gone. No man should have to be away from his wife for five days at a stupid retreat. Are you sure you can't come for a few days?" he said as he clutched me tight and brought me close to his chest.

I took that chance to close my eyes and inhale the scent of my husband that I had come to know and love so well. Whenever I smelled the scent of Ronan's masculine cologne, I would always think of it as Ronan's scent and his alone.

"Who's going to be here with the kids, if I leave?" I finally found my weak voice to ask him, while silently praying away my impending tears.

My God, I have to be here for my kids.

I hoped to be around for my children many more years. The peace I found in Ronan's robust arms comforted me as uncertainty shook me to the core.

"My mother would love to come spend the week with the kids. All you have to do is say the word," he said, watching me expectantly.

I pretended to consider his proposition and then said, "No, you go ahead and handle business and I'll take care of the home front. When you get home, we'll make up for any time lost."

"Oh, the ways I love you, my sweet Ruby. You know what to say to make me feel like rushing back to you. Take care of home and I'll surely be on the first thing smoking back to you babe," Ronan said as his hands began to freely roam over my backside. He kissed me once again, releasing a drawn out groan into my mouth.

"Umph, Ronan, I can't wait until you get back," I said.

"What about giving me a parting gift?" he asked, as he methodically grinded his pelvis into mine. His warm hands slipped inside the groove on the back of my dress and settled atop my plush bottom before he began to unbutton my dress.

"Roonaaaan, we can't... You don't have time," I tried to convince him to leave on time. He had a flight to catch, and I had a very important appointment that I couldn't miss.

"Turn around."

"Baby, you have to get going."

He eased around to stand behind me and pressed his body against mine. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll leave right now," he said. His prominent erection pressed hard against my ass. "I'll be a little bruised, but I'll leave without another word. I promise."

My head fell back against his chest as I basked in the wonderful feel of my husband's love next to mine. Would this be the last time I would feel, want, and desire him? Would the procedure I was about to undergo take away my ability to bond with Ronan in the most intimate way?

Turning to face him, I felt so lost. I didn't know what life held for me over the next weeks or months. Looking into his luminous eyes, I saw so much love. My mouth opened and I was ready to tell him everything I'd been going through.

"Tell me, Ruby. Tell me you want me to go," he said before I was able to say the words that were caught in my throat.

"Ronan..." I began.

My brief moment of confidence shrank back into the depths of my mind. Whatever made me think of telling him the dark secret that was eating me alive disappeared? The secret worried me so much that my hair had started to come out in chunks.

No. On this one thing, I had to stand and fight with my own will. Therefore, I gave in to the moment before me. The only moment I would concern myself with.

Fighting back my tears, I grabbed his tie and pulled him close to me. I kissed him long and sweet. "Is this what you want, Ronan?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. This is what I need, Ruby," Ronan said as I pulled him over to the bed by his tie. As he walked, he discarded his jacket and tie seemingly in one action. "Lose that dress and I'll show you the ways that I need you," he added, as he stepped out of his pants.

I pulled the dress over my head and was about to toss it before he halted me by assaulting my lips. Moans escaped my mouth only to become trapped in his throat. He took the dress out of my hand and ridded us of any and all barriers.

As he took a step back and admired my body that had gained a few extra pounds and visible stretch marks over the years, I could feel his eyes seduce every imperfection before he walked back over to me to kiss and caress my body.

He guided us onto the bed, where he climbed on top of me and used his legs to nudge mine apart. His eyes glazed over with lust as he rubbed a finger up and down my slick heat. His nostrils flared when he brought his finger to his nose and inhaled deeply to take in the essence of my heated scent, before bringing the same finger to his mouth to taste me.

"That's right. Feed me before I go, sweet Ruby," he said peppering kisses down my body to the juncture between my thighs.

I moaned a pleasurable sigh as Ronan spread me wide before him. His eyes greedily ate up the sight of my glistening heat before his mouth attacked the object of his desire with ferocity.

His mouth opened wide and sucked my plump lips in while his tongue found great satisfaction in attacking my clit with the precision of a seasoned connoisseur.

"Ronan!" I screamed his name in the throes of passion erupting from my core in a thunderous explosion.

He climbed atop of me, spread my legs far apart and entered me with no restraint. He groaned as he entered and exited, cherishing each stroke with his ritual call. "Ruby, baby... Oh Ruby. You feel so good," he whispered sweetly against my ear as he made love to me as if it would be our last time together for a long while.

My moans and his groans permeated the otherwise serene room.

"Do you like that, Ruby?" he asked as his sculpted, tanned body moved in earnest to bring us both the ultimate pleasure.

"I love it," was all I could say before his lips devoured mine. His tongue coated with the flavor of my juices entered my mouth viciously. I moaned aloud as scorching heat burned between my thighs as he thrusted deeper into my slickness.

Finally, his lips slid down my chest and caught a pointy hard nipple. I looked down at my husband's chestnut head full of wavy hair and watched him feed off my breast. I gasped aloud as an electrical shock jolted deep inside my slick walls as he trembled savagely. His lips sought another kiss, and our kisses reached maximal intensity. His urgent rhythm meant the throbbing of his shaft had arrived at a climax. His hot seeds bathed my walls, and my nectar sprang forward with a satisfactory release lovingly merging our essence. We lay for a few seconds staring into each other's eyes, having reached optimum pleasure in such a short time.

Kissing my shoulders as he eased off me, he said, "Thank you, Ruby. I think I can make it on that plane now."

"Honey, I'm glad to be of service," I said, holding a smile in place for his sake. A smile that faded when he entered the bathroom for a quick shower.

Within minutes, Ronan would be gone to the retreat in Cincinnati, unknowingly leaving me to deal with the life-altering decision to have a total hysterectomy. I hid my need for surgery from him, just like I hid the fact that I had stage one squamous cell carcinoma.

When my doctor called me back after a Pap smear and told me that I had some abnormal cells on my test, I was sent for an ultrasound, which also did not look good. Ultrasound-guided biopsy proved I had ovarian cancer, without a shadow of a doubt. I felt devastated, fallible and weak, when I found out. How was I, the rock of my family, going to tell my husband that I was in for the fight of my life?

I shivered with fear when I thought of telling Ronan of my condition, especially after how dad treated mom when she was ill. It would break my sister, Emmy's, heart to know that I too was afflicted with cancer, so my plan was to beat this thing, like I'd beat everything else in life, on my own.

I rocked back and forth on the bed as I looked at the bathroom door and listened to the sound of the water running from Ronan's shower.

"It's best that I don't tell him. He already has so much on him," I said aloud, not realizing Ronan had come out of the shower.

"Who has too much on them? Ruby, what are you talking about and why are you shaking like that?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking aloud about what I was going to tell Shauntay about her friend Serenity. She asked me earlier for some advice," I lied. Yeah, I threw Serenity under the bus, but I had to come up with something to say.

Ronan sat down on the bed beside me with his towel wrapped around his waist. "You looked stressed when I came out the shower. Are you sure that's all that's on your mind? With the way you're acting, I'm about to call and reschedule my flight."

"There's no need to do that." I played it cool. I had to keep a level head until he left. It was taking him forever to leave though. Any other morning, he would've grabbed his bags and been out of the house by now.

"Baby, if you need anything while I'm gone, just give me a call. If you can't get me, call Mark, or one of our assistants. You have all of our numbers. I can be back here with you in a matter of hours, for any reason. Do you hear me?"

"I'm sure everything will be fine, Ronan."

"You and the kids are my top priority. You are my world, Ruby." He smiled.

"Thank you for always being here for me, Ronan. I love the way you take care of us. You are a wonderful husband and you deserve the best of everything. I want you to know that."

Ronan knelt down in front of me. He placed a kiss on my hand. "Baby, I do have the best of everything," he said as he stood up and started getting dressed.

As tough as it was going to be, I was going to kick cancer's ass. I felt horrible for not telling him, but I had to do it that way. The news would crush him, as it had crushed me. I didn't want the ghastly disease that had taken up residence in my body to also damage the love we shared. For that reason alone, this was a secret I was willing to bear.

"Ruby, a lot of these guys can't wait to get away from their wives for a full week of five-star arrangements, parties and guy fun, but I'm partial to spending time with only you," Ronan said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

He had redressed in a nice suit and tie, looking like the strong father and businessman I loved and respected. He picked up his suitcase and walked toward the bedroom door. I wrapped the bed sheet around me and followed him to the front door, where he kissed me goodbye and then looked deeply into my dark brown, weary eyes.

"I'll see you Saturday," he said, looking like he wanted to say more but decided against it.

"I can't wait," I said.

To be the subject of Ronan's silver gaze was like being a bee drawn to honey. I breathed in his intoxicating scent once more before he tore his gaze from mine and walked to his car without saying another word.

Left alone, a sudden loss of his demanding presence washed over me. I watched him walk down the driveway. I whispered prayer upon prayer that he would be safe and that I would live to see another day.

God, please give me strength to carry this out, my inner spirit silently cried out.

Chapter 6

Ronan

I looked outside the window of the airplane. The sky was a perfect shade of blue and the clouds looked like I could reach out and touch them. I wished my Ruby were there beside me. Although a lot of business had been accomplished at the retreat, I missed my wife and kids.

My family was the life of me and I wouldn't be the man I was without them. I thought about the sound of Ruby's voice the last time we talked. Something seemed amiss with her and I couldn't wait to get home and lay my eyes on her, to see that she was alright. Then, and only then, would all be right in the world.

"Sir, would you like anything to drink?" asked the flight attendant drawing me away from my thoughts.

I looked up into an attractive face that encased beautiful, brown slanted eyes. Her friendly smile immediately drew me in and rendered me speechless, which was a rare occurrence for me. "No, nothing for me at the moment," I said.

Her smile grew wider as she looked into my eyes with interest. "If you need anything at all please don't hesitate to let me know. My name is Misty Crewe, by the way," she said pointing a finger at her name tag.

My eyes naturally slid to the cleavage of her full bosom, before returning to settle on her face. "My name is Ronan Michaels," I reached out to enclose her hand in a firm handshake. Her hands lingered in mine a little longer than necessary, so I respectfully pulled it away.

"Don't hesitate if you need anything at all," she reiterated with her tone suggesting her offering was more than what was on the airline's menu. I nodded and she reluctantly moved on down the aisle.

I peered out the window at the beautiful skyline as the airplane ate up the miles bringing me closer to my wife and kids. Then, I exhaled an exhausted breath, laid my head on the head rest, closed my eyes and waited for the airplane to land.

It was late in the evening, when I entered through the front door. The house was quiet and in shadows of the setting sun.

"Ruby?" I called out as I closed the door, making sure to lock it. I sat my luggage aside and walked up the stairs anticipating seeing my kids run from their rooms with open arms.

I peeked in Yasmine's room, but she wasn't in there. Then, I opened Benedict's door and his room was empty, as well. Each of their rooms was tidy without the usual toys, clothes and sneakers that littered the floor on any given day.

I smiled at the thought of finding my three favorite people in our master bedroom together. The kids must've been sleeping with Ruby since I'd been out of town. I'd come home a day early and hoped to surprise them. I proceeded down the hallway to my bedroom and found the door was closed. I opened it and frowned. The curtains were pulled closed and the room was in total darkness.

I flipped on the light switch and the room glowed in light. My eyes traveled to the bed and found Ruby bundled beneath the covers.

I glanced at my watch. Our home was usually a vibrant place to be at this time of day. It was only a little after 6:00 p.m., much too early for Ruby to be asleep.

I walked over to the bed to sit beside my wife's still body. Her even breathing let me know she was deep in sleep. I softly brushed a flyaway wisp of her hair from her beautiful face. Her once full head of hair had become thinner lately. I made a note to get her an appointment scheduled with a hair loss specialist, and to schedule a vacation so she could relax.

"Ruby," I called out softly before I bent to brush her lips with mine.

She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed her hand across them as if to clear her vision. Her eyes held an unfocused look as she stared at me. She gasped in surprise before easing herself up in bed.

"Ronan," she said softly. "I didn't expect you home until tomorrow night.

"I thought I would surprise you and the kids, since we finished up the workshops a day early. I hope you're glad to see me."

"Of course I am, darling," she reached out to give me a brief, weak hug.

I frowned in confusion, when she didn't give me her usual hearty hug, and she didn't act as happy to see me as she said she was.

"Where are the kids?" I asked instead of dwelling on her odd greeting.

"They're with Shauntay," she said speaking of her best friend.

"Well, I miss them and want to see them," I said. "Give her a call and tell her I'm on my way over to pick them up."

"Okay," Ruby said, before maneuvering herself out of bed using slow and steady movements. I stood watching her as I unknotted my tie and slang it on a nearby chair.

"What's wrong with you, sweetheart?" I asked, walking over to get her phone for her off the nightstand. I handed it to her. "You don't seem like your normal self. Are you sick?"

"I'm fine. I just have a slight headache."

"Are you sure that's all?" I asked again feeling deeply concerned for my wife. I couldn't put my finger on what was going on, and she was being secretive. The unsettling feeling in my heart before I left home was even stronger after seeing her like this. "You know you can tell me anything, and I'll do everything I can to help you."

"Ronan. I'm fine," she replied as she scrolled through her phone, looking for Shauntay's number. "I'm going to call Shauntay and tell her to get the kids ready to come home."

"Good, and ask her if she and Mark would like for me to bring anything over as a gift for them watching the kids," I said.

"I will ask, but I will warn you that they may be disappointed that they have to come home. They really love being around little Contessa."

"Oh, so they've traded their ole dad in for the new baby, huh? Little rascals," I said and Ruby and I laughed.

"They just like being around babies. It makes them feel like they're little helpers when they get to take care of the baby," Ruby said, and I could see her perking up as she talked about our friend's new baby.

"Yassi and Benny are good kids, which is why I can't wait to see them."

I watched as Ruby made the quick phone call to tell Shauntay. I couldn't hear what Shauntay said on the other end, but Ruby sent a quick look in my direction before abruptly ending the call with a promise to talk to her tomorrow.

"I wish I had known you were coming home, Ronan. I would've had dinner ready," she said as she stood up and went over to her vanity. She picked up her brush and began brushing her hair back into place.

"Well, you'd normally have one of your gourmet meals on the stove by now. I guess you were on hiatus since I was out of town. You deserve a break too, so don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart. Let me grab a quick shower to rid me of the plane ride, and I'll pick up the kids and get something for dinner on the way home," I said to her as concern for my wife continued to nag me.

"I don't mind fixing something real quick. I love to cook for my family," she replied in a shaky voice.

I walked towards my wonderful wife and pulled her into my embrace. "Woman, give your husband a real kiss to show me how much you missed me. That's what you can do for me."

A worried expression entered her eyes that I didn't miss before she reached up to encircle my neck with her arms. Our mouths met as I kissed her deeply to show how much I missed and loved her. She sighed as I drew her closer to my hardening body.

I was finally home encircled by the arms of my love and I never wanted to let her go. She completed me in every way. She made our home a real home filled with love. Ruby was my gem, my sweet Ruby. She was my every-thing. I pulled her closer to take in the scent that was all hers and thanked God that she was all mine.

Chapter 7

Ruby

When Ronan returned home with the kids, I had spruced my hair up by putting on one of my favorite wigs and was dressed in a comfortable teal dress. At the moment when he walked through the door and smiled at me, I felt pretty good compared to how I had been feeling earlier in the day.

The pain from the surgery was decreasing. It only showed its ugly face when I did something strenuous. I had to constantly remind myself to not lift anything too heavy or do more around the house than I should do.

"Hey mom," my eight year old daughter, Yasmine said. She was following her father into the kitchen with a food bag in her hand.

"I missed you, momma," Benedict said bringing up the rear. He'd just turned six and was looking more and more like his father with each passing moment. Benedict walked over to me and gave me a hug before going into the kitchen to join his father and sister.

"That's my spunky lady. Good to see you're up and dressed," Ronan said when I walked fully into the kitchen. He was setting the table and laying out cutlery so we could eat the food he had picked up from our favorite Thai restaurant.

"I'm feeling better, darling," I said walking over to him and placing my arms around his waist from the back. He stopped what he was doing and turned in my arms and placed a nice and long kiss to my lips.

My lips clung to his for dear life. I would've kissed him much longer had twinge from my lower body not reminded me of my condition.

"Ooh!" chorused the children over Ronan and me showing our affection for one another.

I pulled my lips away from my husband's and went to greet our children with a hug and placed a kiss on top of each of their heads. "I missed you guys, but I hope you had fun with Shauntay," I said as we all took a seat at the table.

"We had so much fun!" Benedict's excitement brought my attention to him. "She took us to Jungle Island, and we got to see all the different animals. And Uncle Mark took us on the giant water slide. It was the most fun I ever had!"

"Yeah," added Yasmine. "The slide was so much fun. I got to get on it four times."

"That sounds like fun," I said taking the plate Ronan fixed for me. The kids were already digging into their food as they talked.

"Hold up a minute," Ronan said, staring at the kids.

"Sorry dad," they muttered, knowing we had to say grace before each meal we consumed.

As a family, we clasped hands around the kitchen table and bent our heads. Ronan uttered a prayer of thanks.

"Dear God, thanks for the food we are about to receive. Thank you for allowing us to be able to partake of this meal as one unit. Thank you for bringing me back to my family for moments like this. And thank you for Yassi and Benny who cannot wait to dig in, Amen."

"Amen," Yasmine and Benedict said, and wasted no time digging into their meals once again.

My appetite wasn't up to par, but I didn't want Ronan to get suspicious. I pretended I was eating by shuffling food around my plate from one side to the next. I had been taking a medication to settle the nauseous feeling I'd had to deal with since the surgery.

"Is anything wrong with your food?" Ronan asked with a raised brow.

"No, the food is good," I lied and put a forkful into my mouth to prove it. "Simply delicious."

I could feel Ronan's eyes still on me. I breathed a sigh of relief when my darling daughter began to speak. "We also went on the Safari tour when we were at Jungle Island," said Yasmine.

"Oh wow, what all did you see on the tour?" I asked trying to redirect Ronan's gaze from studying me to Yasmine as she told us about her adventure.

"Uncle Mark let us see the lemurs and we got to touch one," replied Yasmine.

Ronan and I were blessed to have such great friends as the Andrews in our lives. Mark loved our children as much as we did. And even though he and Shauntay had been blessed with a new baby, they still treated our kids the same.

"It was so cool seeing the kangaroos and tortoises," added an excited Benedict who even wore the same serious expression as his father.

"Can we go again sometime soon?" asked Yasmine, directing her question between her dad and me. "Please?"

"We'll have to see about that," Ronan said. "It depends on how well you two keep your rooms clean, and I'm not talking about having your mom coming behind you to pick up after you. If you both do a good job, I can make another trip to Jungle Island happen very soon," he promised.

"Alright," Yasmine and Benedict high fived each other as if they had accomplished a great feat.

I looked at Ronan and smiled. He was a loving father and husband. I was glad he was home and safe with our family under one roof. I didn't want to ever lose him. If I was healthy and whole again, we would've been near perfection.

"Yasmine and Benedict, finish up your dinner. Then, it's off to bed for you both," Ronan said.

"Aww dad, can we just stay up for a bit longer?" Benedict asked, bestowing upon his father a pleading look. "Aunt Shauntay lets us stay up past our bedtime," Benedict innocently revealed.

"Good move, dummy!" cried Yasmine. "You wasn't supposed to tell."

Ronan looked at his daughter and then his son sternly, without saying one word. His glare told Yasmine he wasn't pleased with her words to her brother and told Benedict that his orders weren't up for debate.

"I'm sorry, Benedict," Yasmine said, following her father's unspoken orders.

"It's okay," Benedict said smiling at his sister. "Good night, mom," Benedict rose from the table quickly before coming around to give me a hug.

"Good night, baby," I said holding him close to my heart and kissing him on his cheek.

"Good night, mom," Yasmine stood as we went through the same ritual that I had given her brother.

Ronan stood up from the table, "I'm going to make sure the kids get settled down for the night, and then we can have some quality time," he said with a heated look in his eyes before walking out of the kitchen with our children.

I watched my husband walk down the hall and out of my sight. An amazingly large lump grew in my throat. I was going to have to reject him when all he wanted to do was make love to me.

An unsettling feeling overtook me. In all the years we'd been married, I never avoided intimacy with Ronan, and I never wanted to. My desire for Ronan was as natural as the air I breathed, until the big C came in and stole my every intimate desire; desire a woman is supposed to have for her husband.

I sighed inwardly, stood up and gathered the dirty dishes to put in the dishwasher. I stored the leftovers in plastic containers before refrigerating them. I moved slowly around the kitchen, glad Ronan had gone with the children so he wouldn't notice my impeded steps. I wiped down the table and switched off the light in the kitchen before heading upstairs to my bedroom.

Ronan entered the bedroom just as I was sliding into bed. "After their baths, I read them a bedtime story and they are both out like a light," he said standing in the doorway watching me with a lusty stare. "And now, it's all about you, Ruby."

"Ronan, I—"

"Oh, I missed you so much, baby." Ronan took off his shirt and put it on the chair by the door. He began removing his pants.

"I missed you too, Ronan. I'm glad you had a safe trip," I said truthfully. "Did you accomplish all that you wished to?" I prolonged having to deny him what was rightfully his, and what I would've been glad to give him at any time before this dreadful disease claimed my body.

"Everything went well, sweetheart. A lot was accomplished for the sake of the employees of Turner Enterprises. We're rolling out a new benefit package that I feel every employee will be happy about, including a gym membership so everyone can stay fit and healthy. But the part that was most eventful for me was learning about the new technologies and equipment coming to light in this ever-advancing world of tech innovation."

"That's great to hear, honey. Great for your employees, and I know you'll put all the new advances to good use. You're excellent at what you do," I said, watching my husband undress down to his briefs.

He slid into bed beside my gown clad body and instantly reached for me, placing his hand on my shoulder. He smothered hot kisses down the side of my neck as he nuzzled and breathed in my scent.

"I missed holding you in my arms at night when I was away, and I definitely missed reaching over to kiss you like this, Ruby," he said peppering kisses to the side of my face and the corners of my mouth before turning my face to capture my lips fully beneath his own.

"I missed you too," I whispered into his mouth.

"I hope you never doubt how much I love you," he said when our kiss broke.

I breathed in my husband's scent and clasped his broad shoulders beneath my fingertips. "I love you too, Ronan, more than anything. You and the children mean the world to me," I said.

Staring into his eyes, I tried to think of a way to let him down gently. Judging by the hungry look in his eyes, it wasn't going to be easy.

His hands inched down to my thighs and he pushed my gown up. Lord, the warmth of his hand felt so good on my skin. Being swept away by his kisses and intoxicating touch was only halted by a strong tinge of pain coursing through my pelvis.

Instantly, my hand flew down to stop him before he could reach closer to the juncture of my thighs. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked away the threatening tears that I fought like hell to keep from falling. I tore my lips away from his heated kiss and found my voice. I had to tell him something, anything to stop him from trying to make love to me.

"Ronan, I can't!" I screamed as I pushed him away frantically.

"What? What's wrong Ruby?" he asked as he pulled away with furrowing brows.

"I...I got my monthly visitor this morning...and I... I can't do anything tonight."

"I thought you were just on your period two weeks and four days ago. Why is it on again this soon?"

"Sometimes menstrual cycles are irregular like that," I said.

"Yours has never been irregular though. It always starts and ends on the same day of the month, give or take a day. I have your start date programed into my phone's calendar," he replied as his frown began to turn into concern. "That's it. Tomorrow, you're going to see your GYN," he demanded.

"Honey, there's no need for concern. It's normal for some women to be irregular."

"Yes, there is concern for you. You're tired, looked drained, and now your period is irregular. You should see your doctor, just so we both can rest assured that there are no problems."

"I'm one step ahead of you. I called the doctor's office today, and they told me what I'm experiencing is normal and to only call back if my period lasts greater than ten days," I said, which wasn't entirely a lie. I had called my doctor's office. The rest was fluff.

"That doesn't satisfy me. I'm still worried about you, so we'll just have to see another doctor."

"Other than menstrual cramps, I'll be alright, Ronan." I slid away from him and winced from my surgical incision.

"Baby, you're in pain," Ronan said lying down beside me to hold me gently in his arms.

I took great care to place his arm above my incision. "I should be better after a good night's sleep and this cycle ends."

"If not, you're going to see a new doctor," he said and kissed the back of my neck. He settled comfortably behind me, and I could feel his large, stiff erection against my backside.

Guilt shook me to my core for lying to Ronan about the reason he was going to sleep unappeased. There were other ways I could've satisfied him, but I was in no condition to do so tonight or any time soon.

I lie in his arms wondering in the back of my mind if, even after I healed, I would ever make love to Ronan again. This illness had me feeling like half a woman, unsexy in every sense of the word. I was still in a stupor myself since the surgery.

I closed my eyes and prayed for a miracle, whispering in the darkness as Ronan slept beside me.

"Heavenly Father, please let this be a dream. When I wake up tomorrow, please let me be healthy and whole again, Amen." I finished my softly spoken prayer with hot tears falling from my eyes.

Take it one day at a time. Force one foot in front of the other. I was going to have to do that just to keep going.

Meanwhile, Ronan continued to sleep beside me as I stared into the darkness not knowing which way to turn. The emptiness overtook me and forced me into a troubled slumber.
Chapter 8

Ruby

"Mrs. Ruby Michaels, Dr. Shavez will see you now," Nurse Lucy said. I stood from my seat in the waiting room to follow her back to see my oncologist. "How are you feeling today?" she asked as she seated me in room four.

"I'm doing as well as can be expected, I suppose." I hadn't ever gone through anything like it, so I had no other situations to compare it to.

Lucy smiled at me with sympathy in her eyes. "It takes time, Mrs. Michaels, to come to grips when something like this hits. You'll get through this, but don't lose faith," she said.

"Faith seems to have deserted me, at the moment," I said with a tinge of sadness in my voice.

Lucy looked at me with understanding as she busied herself with taking my vital signs and making notations in my chart. "Make yourself comfortable and Dr. Shavez will be with you momentarily," she said giving me a bright smile before leaving the room.

Dr. Shavez entered about ten minutes later with my chart in his hand. "Hello, Mrs. Michaels, Lucy tells me you're a little down in spirit today."

I grimaced at the tall and slim doctor. "She's right, Dr. Shavez. I'm not feeling my usually cheerful self."

"Don't get discouraged, Mrs. Michaels," he said looking through the chart he held in his hands. He looked up and said, "I do have some news that'll cheer you up. Dr. Newberry's report says the surgery went well as far as getting all the cancer out. It was localized to your right ovary, which was why he didn't have to perform the total hysterectomy."

"I was glad when the surgeon told me it was contained in one ovary, but do you think I should've gotten the hysterectomy, just to make sure it doesn't come back?" I asked, fear still gripping me tight. The fact that my female organs were still in my body made me worry that one day they, too, would be in harm's way.

"What I've seen in patients with similar findings, and according to the available literature on Stage one squamous cell cancer that is contained in the ovary, you have less than a ten percent chance of recurrence. Your tumor was very small, because we caught it early. Chances of it spreading are slim. I'm pretty confident and hopeful for complete curing in your case. However, you will need close follow up and I suggest further treatment to lower the chance of return even more."

"What? Dr. Shavez, there is no way I can subject myself to chemotherapy treatments. I can't get sick and have all my hair fall out. I've already resorted to wearing wigs because my hair is getting so thin from stress. My husband will know there's something wrong with me for sure, if I suddenly go completely bald." I was becoming more unsettled, causing me to babble out my secret.

Dr. Shavez put the chart down on the examining table and glared at me with questions in his eyes. "Mrs. Michaels, are you telling me that your husband doesn't know what's going on with your medical condition?"

"Yes, that is what I am telling you. I haven't told him, and I don't think I'll ever tell him," I admitted, knowing it was the right thing to do. My heart told me I could trust Ronan with this information, but my mind, filled with memories of my father leaving my mother alone to die, was dead set against him knowing.

"I have to advise you to tell your husband, Mrs. Michaels. No one should go through what you're dealing with alone, if they have a choice. It's most important that you have as much support as you can get," he said.

"I have God on my side and I'm leaning on him, Dr. Shavez. That's my support system."

"Yes, but telling your husband will make a big difference in rebuilding your health in the long run. You'd have your husband to celebrate the victories of your diagnosis. The first one being that you don't have to have a hysterectomy. That in itself is something to be thankful for, don't you think?" he asked me.

"Dr. Shavez, I'm very thankful, but I refuse to do chemotherapy," I ignored his advice. I might've sounded irrational, but I was at my wit's end. He had to see things from my point of view. "Surely, there's something else we can do to treat the cancer. Maybe something holistic? I've been doing some research online..."

"Are you willing to gamble your life away on some information you found online? That's all those online self-diagnosing and treatment sites are, Mrs. Michaels, a gamble. I've been a medical oncologist for nearly thirty years, and I can tell you that it's best to talk to a professional."

"Well, is there some other type of treatment I can take other than chemotherapy?"

"Hold on just a minute. I do recommend chemotherapy to eradicate chances of recurrence due to the type of cells that were found. You would use one of our lighter chemotherapy drugs, but it's chemotherapy none the less."

"Are there any other options besides chemotherapy?" I repeated feeling as if I was grasping at straws. My leg was shaking. It took everything for me to hold my composure.

"I will not paint any gray areas for you, Mrs. Michaels. If you deny treatment, you will be simply gambling. Is that what you want to do?"

I looked at Dr. Shavez and took to heart the seriousness of our discussion. He looked at me without blinking as his owlish eyes held mine from behind his black rimmed glasses.

"No, doctor, I'm not willing to gamble my life away. I have children and a husband who depend on me to be there for them. There's no way that I am giving up on them."

"Good. In my opinion, chemotherapy is the way to go. Two drugs will be used in your treatment to kill any remaining cells. We will be careful and minimize damaging your normal cells by carefully monitoring the type of drugs that you will be receiving as well as minimizing the length of your treatment," Dr. Shavez replied. "There are less aggressive treatments out there, but chemo is the route I prefer to take," he added as an afterthought.

I perked up at this bit of news. "What other treatments are you talking about?"

"We could try radiation therapy and see how that goes. I could send you over to our radiation oncologist and see what he thinks. I also want you to start juicing to build up your immune system."

"I have no problem with juicing, but will I lose my hair with radiation therapy?"

The stress had already taken its toll on my once thick and healthy coils. I crossed my fingers and whispered a silent prayer that the doctor's answer would be in my favor.

"Not necessarily. With radiation therapy, you will most likely lose hair on the part of the body that's being treated, not your entire body like with chemotherapy."

I breathed an audible sigh of relief. "I like the sound of the radiation therapy more. What kind of side effects will I get from the radiation therapy, Dr. Shavez?"

"The early side effects from radiation therapy are fatigue and in some cases skin problems. There are also other side effects such as nausea. These symptoms are stronger in some than others," he said.

"I'm already dealing with nausea. The medicine you prescribed helps a lot, so I can deal with that," I said.

"Also, if you need help coping with this rapid change in your life, I recommend this psychologist," he said slipping a card from his white lab coat and handing it over to me.

I glanced briefly at the business card before dropping it into my handbag. "Thank you, doctor. I may have to use this later," I said, touched by his consideration and his patience with me.

"And, Mrs. Michaels, one more thing, I've been doing this for almost thirty years and have seen the benefits of a good support system. I must urge you again to talk to your husband. I'm sure he'll want to help you go through this. You're lucky not to be alone, so don't isolate yourself."

"I have a friend who knows about what's going on with my health. I talk to her," I said.

"I guess that will have to do for now," he said as his face held a doubtful expression. "Come and lie on the table for a quick examination."

I complied, laying back on the examining table.

Dr. Shavez eased down my skirt at the waist where he could inspect my small incision. "Your incision is healing nicely. Keep the bandages changed and don't allow them to become wet," he instructed.

I sat up and adjusted my skirt around my waist. Dr. Shavez walked over to a drawer and shuffled through it before walking back over to me with something in his hand.

"I want you to go home and think about your options for a couple of days. Call the office to let me know what you decide. It is my professional opinion that chemotherapy is the best course of action for you, Mrs. Michaels, however, it is up to you. Here's a pamphlet on what you can expect from both treatments."

"I have one more question, doctor. Which is the shortest treatment, radiation therapy or chemotherapy?" I asked as I added the pamphlet to my handbag.

He pinned his serious gaze on me for a moment. "In your case, chemotherapy would last four to five months but given to you in cycles of two days every three weeks. Radiation therapy will only last a month, but you will have to come in Monday through Friday with rest time on the weekends," he said. "More general information is in the pamphlet."

"Thanks, I'll let you know what I decide, Dr. Shavez. Thank you for your patience with me."

"You are welcome. Weigh your options carefully and then we will proceed. I'm confident you will be feeling up to speed soon with either treatment," he said encouragingly as we walked out the door.

A decision had to be made. A decision that could very well mean life or death for me and heartbreak for my family. The surgery had gotten all of the tumor. My next step was to make sure the cancer was completely eradicated from my body.

I went to the payment desk and paid cash for my visit. I used my personal account to pay all my medical bills and the mail regarding the treatments went to my personal Post Office box.

After settling my account, I walked outside into the dry heat and eased behind the wheel of my silver Lexus GS 450. There was a small twinge in my side as I backed out of the Medical Arts parking lot.

Heading home, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I didn't want to die. I pulled into a gas station about two miles from the doctor's office and pulled my cell phone from my purse to punch in a phone number. I had made up my mind. If I didn't call the doctor's office now, I would change my mind later. I had to set my decision in stone.

"Dr. Shavez's office, how may I help you?" a warm voice answered.

"Hello, this is Ruby Michaels. I just left your office a few minutes ago."

"Yes, Mrs. Michaels, I remember," said the receptionist politely. "How may I help you?"

"I'm calling back with my decision about having the radiation therapy," I nervously said, taking in deep breaths to keep from having a panic attack.

"Let me transfer you over to a nurse so she can make an appointment. Hold please," was the last thing I heard before elevator music started playing over the line.

"Mrs. Michaels, this is Lucy speaking," the nurse said in greeting.

"Hi, again, Lucy, I am ready to make an appointment to begin my treatment," I informed Lucy.

"Which method of treatment did you decide on Mrs. Michaels?"

"I'm going to do radiation therapy."

"This is great, Mrs. Michaels. I honestly think you have made a wise decision. Let me see when I can get you in to meet with the radiation oncologist." There was a pause on the line. "Will next Monday work for you around 9:00 in the morning?" she asked.

It would have to work. What other choice did I have?

"Yes, that time will work for me just fine."

"Okay, your appointment will be with Dr. Rampey's office, which is a couple doors down from our office," Lucy said.

"Thanks," I said, ending the call.

I pulled out into the busy mid-day traffic with my decision weighing heavy on my spirit. One month of daily treatments Monday through Friday with a rest on the weekends. How was I going to pull this off and keep my illness from my family?
Chapter 9

Ronan

"Hey honey, I'm home," I said calling out through the silence. I had a long day and was eager to spend time with the lady of the house...and my children too.

I went to the kitchen in hopes that I would find Ruby whipping up a masterpiece. My stomach growled in anticipation of one of her home cooked meals, but the kitchen was spotless and there was no evidence of anything cooking on the stove. I walked over and peered into the oven and there was nothing there either.

"Ruby?" I called out.

There was no answer. I didn't even hear the kids scurrying around making noise. I sat my briefcase down and walked over to the stairs that led to the upstairs bedrooms. I climbed them two at a time. First, I peeped in Benedict's room. It was dark, so I reached for the light switch. The room flooded in light but there was no sign of my son. Toys were scattered over the floor, but his bed was made.

I switched off the light and walked across the hall to Yasmine's room. Her room was dark and empty, as well. At least her room was neater than Benedict's. I went down the hall to our master bedroom in search of Ruby. Her car was in its usual space and she hadn't texted or called me to say she would be gone.

Frustrated with what I knew I would find, I flipped on the light switch and saw Ruby huddled beneath the bed covers sound asleep. I walked over to the bed and peered down at her. Once again, her even breathing let me know she was asleep.

It was only 5:15 p.m. and she was already in bed. This kind of shit had been going on for two weeks. Along with her waking up in the mornings, making me breakfast and kissing me goodbye but not allowing me to touch her. The kids were always with Shauntay and she was always tired.

My loins tightened in my slacks as I took in my wife's beauty outlined beneath the covers. Her beautiful full lips were slightly open as she breathed in and out. Something had to give.

"Ruby," I called her name to wake her.

Her eyes fluttered open between her long lashes. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she looked at me in confusion for a moment. "Hey, Ronan," she said softly.

"Why are you in bed so early?" I was past talking sweetly to her about her new behavior. I demanded answers. "And I want the truth this time, Ruby."

"I laid down for a short nap, but I didn't mean to sleep this long. I'm so sorry. What time is it?"

"It's 5:16. Where are the kids?"

"Shauntay took them home with her. They wanted to go play with Contessa," she said as she sat fully up in bed. "She's going to bring them back at 6:00, so they can do their homework, get dinner, and get ready for bed."

"I checked the stove and there's no dinner to be had in the kitchen," I said, as the covers fell down around her waist exposing her chocolate nipples through her sheer gown. My anger faded, and my insatiable appetite for my wife began to build as my eyes feasted hungrily on her. My mouth watered from the thought of tasting and licking her pretty brown nipples.

"I'm sorry that I haven't cooked yet," she said throwing the covers aside exposing her tempting brown thighs.

"I'm not hungry for food any longer. I have another feast in mind," I said thinking of how her sticky juices would taste coating my tongue with delicious flavor. I wanted to start from her lush lips and lick my way down to her moist center.

Her face wrinkled into a frown. "Not right now, Ronan," she said standing and reaching for her robe that was lying at the end of the bed. She put her arms through it and fastened it at her small waist.

"Then when, Ruby? It's been three whole weeks since you let me touch you. And you're not on your cycle because I haven't seen one sanitary napkin in the trash for the past couple of days. How long are you going to keep dodging me?" I guessed the better question was why was she dodging me?

"Ronan... I just don't feel like it."

"This is not like us, baby. We've never gone weeks without being intimate, and I want you," I said as I took her hand and placed it on top of my erection.

"I want you too, Ronan. It's just that–" Tears sprang to the corners of her eyes and leaked down her cheeks.

"It's just what, Ruby? Talk to me."

"I'm sorry, I just can't right now," she said as she quickly dashed away her runaway tears.

My heart softened when worry lines appeared on her forehead. Her tears caused me to take a step towards her. Every step I took, she took a step back, avoiding me as if I had the plague. In that moment, I saw something in her. Something deep and painful. She didn't want me near her, and she'd been acting as if she loathed my touch.

"What's wrong with you, Ruby? Please talk to me."

"Don't feel sympathy for me, Ronan! I'm fine!" she said with her eyes casted downward. Her head trembled as she hollered.

Confused, I said, "Ruby, I'm just trying to be here for you like I always have. I want things to be the way they were three weeks ago, before I left to go to the retreat. I want to hold you, kiss you and love you in every way. Is that also too much to ask?"

My eyes narrowed as I assessed my trembling wife. She was hiding something huge from me, and I couldn't help but to wonder if she had found someone else. The thought of another man touching my wife sent my blood raging through every vessel in my body. My hands clenched tightly in anger. I never feel so insecure as I did that moment. Had Ruby left me while I was busting my ass building a legacy for our family?

Grandma Michaels died and left every cent of her fortune in my control. I had the means to quit working and be there completely for her while we lived off my trust fund. But I wanted my children to witness hard work in motion. So, I worked hard and long hours each day.

Maybe that's why she was so tired suddenly. I trusted her for years and would've never thought such a thing before, but lately these unwanted doubts were creeping into my head causing me to have crazy thoughts. I shook those thoughts as hard as I could. I reasoned that it was sex deprivation wearing on me. Of course, Ruby wasn't cheating.

"Why is Shauntay keeping our children all the time, Ruby? You're their mother, not Shauntay," I said, continuing to drill Ruby for answers. "Besides it's not fair for her to keep our children when she has a new baby of her own. Contessa deserves her attention."

Her head tilted to the side. "First, I know who Yasmine and Benedicts mother is. I was the one that birthed them! Second, Shauntay doesn't keep our children all the time. They're here with me mostly. She just offered to take them for ice cream and they wanted to go with her," she said with indignation shooting from her eyes like darts.

"Oh yeah, what about yesterday and the day before?" I asked but continued before she answered. "Listen, I'm just going to be blunt. Are you having an affair, Ruby? Is that why you are sending the children away? Is that the reason you no longer want me to touch you?"

"An affair, Ronan? I can't believe you just asked me something like that. Of course, I'm not having an affair. How dare you question me like you don't trust me?"

"I reach out to you at night and you shrink away from me like I'm some kind of rapist. You look at me with disgust every time I walk into the room. I'm your husband for Christ sakes. How am I supposed to feel?" I asked feeling the anger and hurt of the past weeks building and coming to a boiling point. "This is not us. You have done a one eighty and I want to know why!"

"I have never given you any reason to distrust me in all of the years we have been married," she muttered angrily.

"Well, I feel like that has changed somewhere along the line. But I'm willing to start this conversation over if you tell me what's going on with you, because something is going on. Give me a reasonable explanation of the change in you."

"Ronan, I have not changed."

"Yes, you have, and I want my wife back! Talk to me, baby," I pleaded, stepping closer to her. My hand grasped her arm, and she quickly pulled away from me as if my hand was on fire. "See! This is the type of bullshit I'm talking about. You won't even let me touch you. For the sake of decency, tell me what is wrong with you. I don't like the way I'm feeling right now or the crazy thoughts that're going through my mind."

"I just don't feel like having sex. I'm not a fucking sex machine," she said, still avoiding looking into my eyes. "I'm going downstairs to warm you up some leftovers from the refrigerator," she said, walking out of the room.

"Don't bother, Ruby. I'm going out, and I'll get me something fresh and hot to eat at a diner or something," I said through gritted teeth. I needed to defuse my anger and come back when I wasn't ready to punch something.

"I don't mind making you something, Ronan. You don't have to go out," she said softly, as she walked back into our bedroom finally sounding like the sweet Ruby I loved so much.

I looked at her. She was truly the love of my life, but at this moment I didn't know her. She was wearing a nice, new wig and had on a coat of worn makeup on her face. It was as if she was dolling herself up for someone else and had nothing left to give me by the time I got home from the office.

She was a total stranger in my wife's body that I couldn't trust. And I was supposed to be able to trust my sweet Ruby, the mother of my children, with my life. My God, when did our marriage get to this point?

I tore my eyes away from her and walked over to my closet to gather a pair of jeans and a shirt. I walked to my drawer and removed a clean pair of boxer shorts along with a clean pair of socks and took them into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. The beautiful sight of my made-up wife wearing a fake wig disgusted me at the moment. This level of disgust I was feeling for Ruby surprised even me. She had blindsided me with her mysterious ways.

I was hoping the steamy shower would simmer my anger, but nothing helped as I washed my body from head to toe. One thing I couldn't tolerate was disloyalty from the person I vowed to my loyalty to forevermore.

I shut off the shower and dried off before putting on my clothes. I left the bathroom to see Ruby sitting on the bed wringing her hands and biting her lower lip with a frown between her brows.

"Are you still leaving?" she asked, jumping from the bed.

"What do you think?" I questioned her with an anger tinged voice.

No reply was forthcoming as she looked at me with sadness lurking from her eyes. I no longer cared how she looked, or if she was upset that I was going out. I gathered my billfold and car keys and walked out of the room, leaving her behind to stew in her own deceit.

Chapter 10

Ruby

I fell back on the bed and tears leaked freely from my eyes. My covert mission had taken a drastic turn. As planned, Ronan didn't suspect that I was having health problems. Instead, he thought I was having an affair. My actions had left Ronan feeling cheated and betrayed, when there was no man on this earth that could ever take his place.

"God, I've been a good, faithful person. I prayed...took care of my family...and treated others the way I wanted to be treated. I even remained faithful after losing my mother, the one person who I used to be able to count on to lift my spirits, to cancer. Why did you give me cancer? I did nothing to deserve this!"

It was perplexing that I would be inflicted with such a scary disease after living such a humble and faithful life. And after believing there was a God above watching over me. It just wasn't fair.

"I hate you John Henry!" I said, shifting the questions from God, to blaming my father. Thinking of the day he left my mother on her dying bed hit harder than ever today.

The way dad reacted to mom's cancer diagnosis was the reason I kept my diagnosis from Ronan. If only my father had been a real man, I wouldn't second guess the real man I knew Ronan to be.

After questioning God and blasting dad, I still felt like shit. Numbness overtook my body, as I lay on the bed with a piercing pain in my heart. I didn't want to move, think or even breathe. The only silver lining was that my kids were not home to witness me in this state.

Balling myself into a tight knot, I began to listen to the tiny voice that was trying to push through. You will make it through this...

"God, you said you would not leave or forsake me," I said, holding onto the part of me that wanted to believe in blessings. "So, I will continue to believe that by Your stripes, I am healed. This illness will be removed permanently from my body...in Jesus name."

Shaken by my own words, I just lifted my hand in the air. I questioned the Lord, but a deep part of me believed the Holy Spirit would move in my favor. Just as much as I believed in my healing, I believed there was a chance Ronan would see me as a burden, a sick and shut in, if he knew I had cancer. The last thing I ever wanted to feel was disposable, like mom had been to my dad. Therefore, keeping this secret was one thing I was adamant about.

"Oh Ronan," I cried out as the disgusting way he looked at me replayed in my mind. I would have to stand strong under his scrutiny – at least until I was able to once again perform my wifely duties.

Ronan thought he despised the new me, not knowing what he really despised was the cover up of a devastating six letter word. Cancer.

"By God's grace and mercy, I am healed. By Your stripes, my condition is turned around for the better. Dear God, please heal my body so that I can be a better wife to my husband and mother to my children. Lord, forgive me for my sins committed and the ones I'm going to commit. Be my compass Lord, and I pray that I have the guts to walk not by sight but by faith. I want to trust in your Lord, I want to..."

Subconsciously, the prayers just kept coming, until the doorbell rang at about the same time my phone started buzzing. I looked down and saw it was Shauntay texting that she was at the door. I dried my eyes and fixed my face before going downstairs to open the door.

"Hey Shauntay," I said, as she walked in with the children.

"Hey Ruby..." she said. The kids ran off into the den and started tussling over the remote control.

"Give it! I want to watch Turtle Jam," Benedict yelled.

"No, I'm about to watch Disney," Yasmine said.

Of course, Yasmine won the battle. She turned to the Disney channel and sat down in front of the TV. Benedict plopped down on the floor beside her and said, "It's my choice after this show goes off."

I shook my head at the two of them.

"Do we need to have a chat?" Shauntay asked as she studied me with her eyes forming into slits.

"The last thing I want to do is talk right now," I said walking into the kitchen.

Shauntay slid up on a barstool. "Wait, did Ronan find out?"

"Find out what mommy," Benedict asked as he walked in. Worry was in the shadow of his eyes, as well.

"Nothing Benny. Go on back in there and watch TV."

"I don't want to watch that girl show. What are we having for dinner? Can I have mine early?" he asked.

"You have to wait on everyone else. And it will be something you like, trust me," I said, knowing I hadn't even taken anything out to cook. I was going to have to call for delivery, again.

"Yay! I hope it's pizza." Benedict jumped and clapped his hands together.

"We'll see, now go up in your room and play the video game since you don't want to watch TV. Your Aunt Shantay and I are talking. I'll be up there in a minute," I told him.

"Yes ma'am."

Once we were alone again, Shauntay began. "Ronan's not here? I thought he would be off by now."

"Oh, he's off, but he went out to grab something to eat."

"What are you guys having?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me," I said getting frustrated with her questions.

She tilted her head and looked at me suspiciously. "Ruby, don't let being secretive ruin your marriage. I promise you this seems worse than it is. You can't let Ronan carry the cross your father built. You have a good husband who'll support you. Come on friend, think about how your secret is changing the way you two treat each other."

"I don't need to hear this right now. I have too much on my mind already."

"Yeah, like the fact that you're going to lose your husband if you keep hiding this?"

"Thanks for the reminder, Shauntay. I truly appreciate everything that you've been doing, but I have to deal with this in my own way. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said as I led the way out of the kitchen and to the foyer.

"So you gonna play me to the left? Okay," Shauntay said as she walked to the door. "Any good friend would tell you that what you are doing will ruin you. If Ronan ever finds out that you have cancer and didn't let him know it's going to crush him that you didn't trust him to be there for you during your weakest point."

"I'll just have to take my chances. If it's meant for us to be together, we'll get through that too, but he will not find out about this, Shauntay. Do you understand?"

"Oh, I understand. Just as long as you know I tried to tell you," Shauntay said hugging me. "I love you, Ruby."

"Love you too sis," I said closing the door behind her, knowing every word she spoke was the truth.
Chapter 11

Ronan

I entered the JCT Kitchen & Bar. The roof-top restaurant had an air space with an outdoor patio area, which was perfect to accommodate the many customers that were there on this long, hot summer night—possibly the longest night of the entire summer.

"Good evening," the waiter approached me promptly at the door. "Would you like to be seated at the bar or at a table?"

"I would rather sit at the bar as long as I can grab a sandwich to go with my drink order," I replied.

"Of course you can, sir, follow me," the waiter said.

I followed him into the bar where a band was playing live music, which added a serene ambience to the dimly lit atmosphere. Once I was seated, I gave the waiter my order for a sirloin burger with a side of sweet potato fries. "Hold the onion," I said to him on second thought.

"Got it," he said writing on his pad. "I will be back with your food order shortly. The bartender will be coming around for your drink order," he said with a smile before walking off towards the kitchen to place my order. The bartender approached as I listened to the band play some kind of jazzy rendition.

"Good evening sir."

"I would like a Pilsner Urquell in a glass," I said.

"Coming right up, sir."

The bartender padded away to fill my request. He soon slid a frothy mug of chilled beer in front of me. I thanked him and turned up the drink, taking a healthy swig from the mug.

"Looks like you're having the kind of day I'm having," the tall, muscular guy with dreads sitting beside me said. I was so into my thoughts, I hadn't even noticed anyone sitting there.

"Hey Jason, man, I'm sorry. I didn't even notice you sitting there," I said to my friend of several years.

Jason and his identical twin brother, Jonathan Knight, were both good friends of mine since childhood. I also worked out in one of several well-known gyms they owned in the Miami area. After much convincing and planning, Knight & Knight had taken the steps to expand into different cities throughout the United States.

"It must be woman problems," Jason said cutting into my thoughts.

"Man, how can you tell?"

"You don't have to say a word, man. The story is written all over your face," Jason replied. "I know the feeling. I'm going through something too. The kind of problems I'm having though, I wouldn't wish on anyone," he said raking his tangled, brown dreads back from his forehead with a troubled look in his eyes.

"Damn, Jason, we really are a pair, aren't we?" I said this with a harsh laugh.

"It sure does look like it, Ronan. It's like damned if you do and damned if you don't," he said before downing the contents in his tumbler. He signaled the bartender for another drink.

I drank a swig of beer as I analyzed my friend. "At least you're single and you can go home alone when things get too bad."

"You got me there. I can at least get away from these clingy ass women for a while," he said with a smirk.

I wish Ruby were clinging to me.

I sat back in my seat and studied Jason. "Did you just say women? I have my hands full with one woman. I don't envy you, even though most men would," I said as I thought about how mysterious Ruby had been acting as of late.

"Things must be really bad between you and Ruby for you to be talking like this. I always looked at you and Ruby as being the ideal couple. You have a beautiful wife and two wonderful children. I would give my right arm for what you have. I like being alone sometimes, but with all my dating and womanizing ways, I still need someone to go home to at the end of the day. Like I said, you have Ruby and the kids. What more can you ask for?"

I turned my mug of beer up and drained the contents before I answered Jason's question. "Man, I don't know what the hell has been going on lately between Ruby and me. I went out of town on a business trip a couple weeks ago and came home to a different woman. I've tried to get her to talk to me, but it's like she's a hundred miles away. I let her know that if she has a problem she can talk to me, but she insists that everything is fine and dandy. Everything is far from fine and nothing about our fucked up situation is dandy!"

"I'm sorry, Ronan. Hopefully things will get better between the two of you real soon. You two are my inspiration to find a woman I can marry, have my children, and be happy," he said in a wistful tone.

"I just don't know anymore, Jason. Sometimes, I wonder if..." I let my voice trail off.

"Sometimes you wonder what?" Jason awaited my reply by taking a drink from his glass that the bartender placed in front of him.

"I think there's a chance she may be having an affair. Like I said, I went out of town and when I came back she was different," I said in a rush. Rage once again flooded in my heart. "Just thinking of Ruby stepping out on me makes me want to kill whoever it is that she's seeing behind my back."

"Calm down, bro. You're saying a lot of 'I think' and 'maybe.' Don't jump to conclusions, if you don't have the facts to back it up."

"Ruby is withholding sex from me, Jason. That's all the facts I need. She has never turned me down in all of the years we've been married. There is no other excuse. Some other man is satisfying her needs. I believe this as surely as I am sitting here talking to you right now."

"Damn, that's some fucked up shit, if that's true," Jason said shaking his head from side to side with a look of pure disbelief written on his face.

"Yeah, I agree. But the facts speak for themselves. She's cheating on me, man."

Jason stood and clasped his hand on my back to give me assurance. "I hate that you are having to deal with this, bro."

"I do too man," I said after taking the rest of my drink to the head. "Looks like you're about to get out of here. Good talking to you."

"Yeah, I have to go. I hate to leave you like this," he said taking a glance at his watch. "But I have a personal training session at 8 p.m. One of my top paying clients."

I looked at my watch and saw that he had thirty minutes to make it to his appointment. "You better get out of here and go make that money," I told him with a half-smile.

"Keep your head up, Ronan, and keep your mind open. And give me a call soon, or better yet get your ass back in the gym and work off some of that aggression."

"Will do. I will see you soon," I said before Jason left.

Fifteen minutes later, the waiter brought my meal. I thanked him before adding some A-1 sauce to my burger and bit into its thick juiciness. I ate until my hunger was appeased and ordered another beer before leaving the bar area and walking out onto the patio area. The beer gave me a nice buzz, which in turn caused the tension I was feeling earlier to ease a bit.

The night was warm and pleasant as I looked out at the view of Miami. The lights from the buildings lit the city aplenty, and the traffic of the noisy streets below drifted upward. I loved being in the midst of the Downtown District. I breathed in the night's thick, balmy air and thought about the way I left things at home with my wife. I didn't like to argue with Ruby. Out of all the years we'd been married, this was the first time I had ever walked out on her and that troubled me.

As I looked out over the city, I thought long and hard about the turn our marriage was taking. When I turned away from the view to take a seat at one of the empty tables, my eyes collided with a pair of brown slanted eyes that appeared vaguely familiar. The woman was seated at a table with several other ladies, who seemed to be having a lively discussion.

She whispered something to her friends before standing and crossing the room to where I was standing. I couldn't help but notice how her two-toned faded shorts revealed her long, sun-kissed legs. She exuded sexiness, and I could feel it in places that I shouldn't have. I tried to remember where I knew her from as I watched the tempting sway of her hips as she walked towards me. Was she one of the many employees or contractors that worked for Turner Enterprises?

"Hello again," she smiled revealing perfect, straight white teeth. I noticed a tiny speck of a mole that dotted the upper right side of her full lips, which made her appear more endearing.

"Hi," I said returning her greeting. "You look familiar, where do I know you from?" I asked her honestly.

"I was your flight attendant on your flight back to Miami about two weeks ago," she replied. "Should I be offended that I'm so forgettable?" She batted her eyes flirtatiously, which brought attention to her naturally long eyelashes.

"Of course not," I said as it dawned on me. "Nice to see you again Misty Crewe," I added, remembering her unique name.

"It's nice to see you again too, Ronan Michaels," she said, saying my name in a way to make sure I knew she hadn't forgotten one detail about me. I found it intriguing that she remembered my name, given that she likely dealt with thousands upon thousands of people on a weekly basis. "Are you here alone?" she asked as she looked around the rooftop patio area before her eyes once again met mine.

I was momentarily entranced with Misty's exotic beauty. What man wouldn't be?

"I'm alone."

My mind returned back to the reason I was there solo in the first place.

"Is something wrong?" she drew me away from my troubled thoughts. "You looked upset for a moment," she said.

"I just have some things on my mind. It's nothing I can't handle."

Her hand reached out and touched my shoulder. "A man like you shouldn't have any troubles," she said as her hand moved soothingly against my shoulder. "If I was your woman, I would make sure of that," she said with a kittenish on her full, shiny lips.

Her touch caused an instant, hot tingle against my skin. I looked into her slanted brown eyes once again. I allowed my eyes to sweep over her curvaceous body, for only a moment before the fact that I was married with a wife and children, whom I loved dearly, reentered my mind. My wedding band suddenly felt like a bright reminder that I was spoken for. "It's nice seeing you again, Misty, but I must get home to my wife," I said more for my sake than hers.

Understanding dawned in her beautiful eyes as she removed her hand reluctantly from my shoulder. "Oh, it was nice seeing you again, Ronan Michaels," she said flippantly. "I better get back to my friends."

She turned and walked away without giving me a chance to say another word. I stood there and watched the way her short shorts encased her rounded, bubble booty. Her ass cheeks swayed from side to side and jiggled a bit as she walked away. If she bent over, her ass cheeks would spill from beneath her shorts, begging to be set free. She looked back at me once as if she didn't doubt that I was still watching her. She shot me another coy smile with an added wink before she rejoined her friends.

I left the bar heading home, silently berating myself for having a reaction to Misty's beauty. I popped a stick of minty gum in my mouth to dispel the building sour taste. I knew the bitter taste was brought on by what was going on with Ruby.

I pushed remnant thoughts of Misty Crewe out of my mind. Somehow, she was a pleasant distraction from the tumultuous thoughts of my wife. I'd only had two spontaneous interactions with this lady, yet I knew, if given the chance, she could pose a problem. That thought alone had me more determined to find out what was happening with Ruby.
Chapter 12

Ruby

That weekend, Ronan and I met up with some of our mutual friends for a barbecue at the Turner's home. We were still very much at odds over my sudden decline in intimacy, so while I didn't want to go to the party and pretend everything was peachy, I also wasn't about to let people think we weren't happy. When Ronan went to any type of function, I was always on his side, and I didn't want that to change. I was bound and determined not to let cancer strip everything away from me.

Even though Ronan had been staying out late the past couple of nights, for the sake of our children, I'd been smiling and pretending that everything was normal. When he stayed out late, he didn't even attempt to touch me. He just stumbled in nearly drunk, crawled to his side of the bed, and went to sleep.

Lord only knew how much I cried as I witnessed my husband want something from me that I couldn't give him. I wanted to be with Ronan. Hell, I needed him too, but I had to give myself time to heal. Three weeks had passed and I had three weeks to go before my checkup.

When we walked up to the Turner's door, a woman wearing a nametag with the word Lynetta answered the door saying, "You must be the Michaels. Welcome to the Turner household. Please follow me out onto the back lawn."

I looked up at Ronan who had a brooding look on his handsome face. His ice cold eyes glared at me, no longer holding their usual warmth. My heart sank with a sadness that had been plaguing me for far too long.

"Mom, I want to go over where Aunt Shauntay and Uncle Mark are at," Benedict said as we stepped out onto the back porch. His sweet, little voice broke me away from Ronan's chilled glare. He was bouncing in excitement.

"Me too," Yasmine said, echoing her brother.

"And I'm going over to speak with Jacob and the Knight brothers," Ronan said in a curt voice, as if he couldn't wait to leave my side. He walked off in the direction of the group of men, leaving me standing alone.

"Come on, guys," I said, choking back tears as I looked down into the faces of my two beautiful children. I followed them over to sit at a table with a big umbrella to ward off the blazing Miami sun.

"Hey, you two," I said before taking a seat in one of the cushioned seats.

"Hey, Ruby," Shauntay and Mark said in unison.

Shauntay Andrews was my best friend, who I knew from my childhood. We lost contact and went years without talking, until she, too, got an internship at Turner Enterprises. She ended up dating Mark Andrews, VP of Development and just a few years ago they tied the knot. Since she didn't have kids of her own at the time, she practically adopted mine as her own. My kids called her Auntie and Mark, Uncle.

Being two down to earth women from shoddy beginnings who married into wealth solidified our tight bond. Over the years, we counseled each other on dealing with overzealous women jockeying for position, fish net and red heel wearing secretaries, job demands, mommy duties, wife duties and anything else in between. We had become as close as sisters could get and even teased each other about being a part of an elite club called the Billionaire Wives Club.

She was the only person I confided in about my cancer diagnosis. And though she admonished me to tell Ronan, she didn't make me feel bad about my decision. She was there when my father walked out on my mother. She saw what the devastation of his departure left behind.

"Come over here and give Aunt Shauntay a hug!" she said to Yasmine and Benedict who were peering into the carrier admiring little Contessa while she slept.

"Hey, squirts," Mark said to my kids.

"Hello, Uncle Mark and Aunt Shauntay," they replied and quickly gave the baby their full attention again.

"Contessa gets more precious every day," I said to my friends while looking at their adorable baby girl. It brought back thoughts of my children when they were babies.

"Thank you, Ruby. She makes us so happy," said Shauntay with a gleam in her eyes.

Benedict turned away from Contessa to give me a pleading look. "I want a baby brother," he said.

"Look what you've started, Shauntay," I said and pretended to give her a mean look.

"On that note, I think I'll be going to join the men." Mark stood up and placed a kiss on top of Shauntay's head before he walked off.

Shauntay laughed aloud. "These late nights and early mornings with the baby are whipping Mark into shape."

I grinned. "I can imagine."

"Are we getting a baby brother, mom?" Benedict asked again.

I felt like my son was going to be like a dog with a bone since the seed of having a little brother had been planted in his head. I sighed aloud, trying to come up with something to say to get Benedict's mind off me having another baby. Destiny's two children, Montie Jr. and Montana, took that moment to run up to the table and pull Yasmine and Benedict away. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, ladies," Serenity and Destiny both extended their greeting, as they walked up to the table and took a seat.

Destiny pushed her baby's bassinette and parked it alongside Shauntay's stroller.

"Hi, Destiny and Serenity," I replied with a smile, even though, as quiet as it's kept, there was always something about Serenity that grated my last nerve. I hoped this day, of all days, when I was already dealing with so much, she didn't come with any mess. Mr. Turner's wife, Destiny, on the other hand, I was looking forward to getting to know better.

"What took you two so long in the house?" Shauntay asked Serenity.

"You are too damn nosy for your own good, Shaun. If you must know, I needed to ask Destiny about a small personal matter," Serenity said with a sly look towards Destiny. "Plus, I wanted to get a chance to get to know her one on one. I got a feeling we're going to make the best of friends," she said with a smirk.

"Serenity, I think you're right about that," Destiny said with a friendly smile on her beautiful face. "In fact, I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you," she added.

"It'll be a pleasure getting to know you as well," I said to Destiny and sent her a friendly smile.

"I agree," chimed in Shauntay. "But I still want to know, why you two were missing in action for so long," Shauntay asked, knowing her friend was up to something.

Serenity was always up to something that kept Shauntay's inquisitive mind at work. Shauntay was forever calling me to tell me about a new adventure Serenity was taking. Quite the spontaneous person, I was sure that was why the best-selling author in Shauntay was so intrigued by having Serenity as a friend. I, on the other hand, felt like she needed to grow up and act more mature.

"Don't look at me like that, Shauntay. My lips are sealed," Destiny said, snapping me out of my thoughts. The mischievous expression on her face solidified that Serenity was up to something and, after one quick glance around the room, I was sure it had something to do with the Knight twins.

"That's what you get with your nosy ass," Serenity said to Shauntay and laughed aloud. She was cussing like a sailor and I was glad the children were out of earshot.

"Y'all are still crazy," I said rejoining the conversation.

"You already know it," said Shauntay.

My eyes wandered around the room until I found Ronan, who was standing with the guys. Holding a beer in his hand, he let out a hearty laugh and appeared to be genuinely having a good time. It made me smile to see him enjoying himself. He must've felt me watching him, because his silver gaze collided with mine and his bright smile instantly faded.

Tears rushed from deep within and bubbled over. I stood up from the table before anyone could see the tears clouding my eyes. "May I use your bathroom, Destiny?" I asked.

"Of course, you remember where to find it?" she barely got out before I rushed off.

"Ruby!" I heard Shauntay call out to me, but I didn't want anyone to see my tears or ask any questions that I wasn't ready to answer, so I dared not turn and answer her. I kept walking into the Turner's stylish home, until I reached the main guest bathroom.

I ran cold water into the porcelain sink and bent down to wash my face. I hoped the cold water would be enough to settle my emotions. I looked up into the mirror and noticed the pinched look on my face. The additional makeup I had applied was barely hiding the dark circles underneath my eyes. My cheeks were as not as full as normal and my lips were tender from the cracking skin I'd been treating with extra moisturizers.

I shut off the water and reached for one of the many hand towels to dry my face and rid myself of any lingering tears. I took a deep, fortifying breath before forcing a smile and exiting the bathroom.

"So what was that about?" Shauntay asked as I exited the bathroom. She leaned up against the wall with a few worry lines wrinkling her forehead.

I should've known she would follow me.

"There is nothing wrong, Shauntay."

"You can't fool me, Ruby. I know better," she said peering into my eyes with concern. "Are you feeling ill?"

"No, I'm actually feeling great physically. It's Ronan," I started to spill my feelings and then stopped.

"What about Ronan? You already know you can talk to me about anything," she said.

"Ronan is acting strange. He's still a great father to the kids, but he and I are growing apart," I said, wiping away stray tears.

"Ruby, the man doesn't know what to think about the changes in you lately. You really need to tell him what's going on with your health. I'm saying this because I'm your friend and it's the right thing to do. I don't want the decision of you keeping valuable information from your husband to come back and haunt you later," she said in a serious tone.

"You may be right, but I've made my decision, Shauntay. It's a little late to backtrack, because he'll still be upset if I tell him now. You just make sure you're holding up your end of the bargain. You can't tell Ronan, Mark, or anybody else for that matter." Shauntay suddenly bit her bottom lip and looked away nervously. "What's that guilty look about? Please tell me that you didn't tell Mark. Because if you did, it's good as told to Ronan." I looked at her with fright in my eyes.

"No! I didn't tell Mark, but I might have slipped up and confided in a friend."

"Which friend?" I asked. I could feel myself getting angry at the thought of Serenity knowing my secret.

"Please don't be mad. I did confide in Serenity, but she isn't going to tell anyone, I promise. I was so worried about you, and she wanted to know why your kids were over to my house so much lately and why I couldn't do the things with her that we normally do together. It just kind of slipped out," she confessed.

I felt a relief that she hadn't told Mark about my condition. But I wasn't comfortable with Serenity knowing. The only reason I dealt with Serenity was because of my love for Shauntay. My energy shifted from sorrow to anger.

"Just slipped out? Well, all I can say is she better keep her big mouth shut or there will be hell to pay." There weren't many things that made me come out of character, but my condition staying a secret from Ronan was one of them.

"Don't stress over it, Ruby. Your secret is safe with Serenity. If you would give Serenity a chance, you two could be good friends. I've never understood why you don't like her. She is a very likable person," Shauntay said.

"I don't know why she rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's her wild and free spirit," I said.

"That's just it. Serenity talks a good game, but she's not doing half of it. Like I told you before, she's celibate and has been for the past year."

"The way she acts, a person would never guess it."

"Well, it's true. And when we go back out there, please try to get along with her. I saw you giving her the side eye when she walked out with Destiny earlier."

I couldn't do anything but to laugh. Shauntay had caught me red handed. I couldn't even think of anything to say to defend myself. I knew how deeply Shauntay loved her friends. I silently resolved to do better to appease my friend, or at least try.

"Let's go," said Shauntay pulling me out of my musing. She hooked her arm into mine as we walked back outside to the barbecue.

"Ooh! Tell me more about those twins," I heard Serenity ask Destiny as her hungry eyes glazed over Jonathan and Jason Knight.

Shauntay and I retook the seats we had vacated earlier. Shauntay's eyes followed Serenity as did mine and Destiny's.

"Who Jason and Jonathan? They're the Knights," Destiny said. "They own a chain of profitable gyms here in Miami and they just went regional. They're looking to expand into every city in the US," she added.

"Which one is Jonathan?" Serenity asked.

"Jonathan is the one without the dreads. If it weren't for Jason's dreads, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. They are identical twins," Destiny said.

"Damn, they both are fine as hell! And Jason is rocking those dreads something serious, for a white guy," Serenity said fanning herself.

I looked over at Shauntay and shook my head from side to side. Being cordial to her loud mouthed friend was going to take some patience. The way Serenity was eating up the Knight twins with her eyes, she looked far from celibate to me. I could feel my promise to Shauntay deserting me.

"They're actually biracial," I said. "Their father is African American and their mother is White Irish with Venezuelan descent."

"It seems like you know a lot about them," Serenity said, looking at me with an arch to her brow.

"I do. Ronan has been friends with them for a long time. He also trains with them in their gym. They're trainers, as well. I even worked out with them when I was trying to lose belly fat after having Benedict."

"I bet you did," she said. "Well, I need to get in their gym ASAP and sign up a year's membership. I want to lose these forty pounds from the sweet tooth I've accumulated during my year of being celibate," said Serenity.

"I could stand to lose a few pounds myself." Shauntay chimed in.

"They both can give me a good workout!" said Serenity, causing Shauntay and Destiny to burst into laughter like they found her outlandish suggestion funny. I cringed inwardly at her crassness. Women like her made others look bad. I found myself rolling my eyes once again. She caught my look and frowned at me.

"Why are you rolling your eyes at me, Ruby?" Serenity asked.

"If you must know, the implication of your words sounds downright nasty. And you look thirsty the way you keep eyeing the Knight twins as if they are pieces of meat."

As I watched Serenity's mood change from laughing and enjoying herself to irritated, I knew deep down she wasn't the problem. My problem was with Ronan and how he made me feel that day. It just so happened that Serenity was getting the backlash of my horrible mood.

"Ruby, you need to get the stick out of your ass that seems to be wedged in deep. If you don't like the way I talk, then that's just too damn bad. Shauntay is more like me. I don't see how she can be friends with your boring ass anyway."

"Serenity, that's enough! Back to your neutral corners you two," Shauntay said.

"I'm sorry, Destiny. I don't usually act like this," I promptly apologized to our host.

"I must say this is a much different type of interaction than I imagined," said Destiny as she looked between Serenity and me. "So, let me get this right," she continued. "You and Shauntay are good friends as well as Shauntay and Serenity, but you and Serenity can't stand each other?" she asked with a question in her eyes.

"Correct," Serenity and I said in unison.

"Finally! You both have agreed on something. I never thought I would see the day that would happen," teased Shauntay.

"Whatever, Shauntay, but getting back to the gym idea," Serenity said discarding the entire argument. "Who wants to join with me? I know everyone already has home gyms, but I need an accountability partner to work out with me, because I am definitely joining their gym."

"You know I got your back girl, consider me signed up already," Shauntay said. "I need to lose this extra baby weight anyway."

"I'm in. I will join you ladies. I think we would make an interesting bunch, and you know I have to keep it sexy and sizzling for Jacob," said Destiny as she looked in her husband's direction. At the same time, he turned and returned her stare with an 'I'm going to eat you up tonight' look that was meant only for her to understand. I knew the look well. Ronan used to look at me like that.

"What about you, Ruby? Or are you too bougie to sweat?" Serenity asked, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"No, I'm not too bougie to work up a sweat," I said, on the verge of telling her that she was the only one at the table who needed to lose weight. I didn't want her to get offended enough to tell my secret, but I was so far out of my element that I almost didn't care if she said something. Almost.

I took another look at Ronan and he was deep in conversation with Jason. I took in his chestnut hair and the wide expanse of his shoulders. His profile was strong and prominent, so handsome. All I wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms, away from this petty conversation, and to be healthy...and whole.

I wanted to get back to what we had before my illness arose. I could hear Serenity reply to my earlier comment, but I tuned her out and became lost in memories from happier times with my husband.

Chapter 13

Ronan

"Man, how are you and Ruby doing since the last time I saw you?" Jason asked in a low voice but not low enough apparently.

"What's going on between you and your wife?" his twin Jonathan asked, giving me his full attention.

"Trouble in paradise?" asked Jacob.

I took a long drink from the bottle of beer I was holding before speaking.

"I don't want this day to be about me and my problems. Today is supposed to be about de-stressing, having fun, and forgetting about all things that bog down the mind," I said trying to get out of talking about me and the strain my marriage had placed on me lately.

Even as I convinced my friends to seize the moment, I was well aware that something had to give, and soon. I brushed my hand through my hair in frustration and finished off the beer in my hand.

"You are amongst good friends here. I guess you can consider us the tycoon's club," Mark chimed in. "We should be there for each other to keep us all successful in every aspect of life. That includes our personal lives, especially our marriages, which we all know can make or break us."

The men all nodded their heads in agreement. The twins, who weren't married, looked on like pupils taking a lesson.

Jacob said, "Mark is right. If you're not happy at home, it most definitely reflects in your work. I'm living proof of that."

"Talk to us and maybe we'll be able to help with whatever is bothering you," Mark suggested.

"I don't know where to start," I said in frustration.

"Start at the beginning," suggested Jacob.

I blew out a ragged breath before I began to speak. "Ruby has changed."

"In what way?" asked Mark.

"We used to have this robust love life that included waking up to put a smile on her face and ending each day with a conversation, laughter, and passion. But lately, I don't know what's going on with her. I went to the retreat last month out in Iowa and finished up with the conference a day early to surprise her."

"Yeah, I remember you left early. You were excited about getting home to surprise her," Mark recollected.

"When I got home, my children were with Shauntay and Ruby was in bed sleeping. It was only around six in the evening, and that is so unlike her," I continued.

"Maybe she was ill or just overly tired," Jonathan suggested.

"I asked her if she was sick, and she said everything was fine. I accepted her answer at the time. Then, things started to get strange. You know this for yourself Mark," I said looking at him. "You and Shauntay have had our kids more than they've been home lately."

"Man, that's not a problem. To tell you the truth, I haven't thought much about the reason they've been over more than usual lately. I've just been so overjoyed that they want to spend time with their honorary aunt and uncle. You already know that Shauntay and I love your kids as if they were our own," Mark said.

"And that's fine with me, but don't you think that defeats the purpose of Ruby being a stay at home mom? She doesn't need to continuously pawn our children on you two. You both have your hands full as it is with the new baby, and I want my family intact when I get home from the office."

"Rest your mind, bro. Shauntay and I aren't complaining, but I will talk to Shauntay about it," Mark said as he gave me a reassuring pat on the back.

"I'm sensing there's more to this than the kids being over Shauntay's house. What is really bothering you, Ronan?" Jacob asked.

"There is definitely more to Ronan's problem," Jason agreed.

"How do you know so much about his problem?" his twin brother asked in surprise.

"Go on and tell them why you think Ruby has changed, Ronan," Jason said.

"I think she's having an affair."

"Wow, man, that's a pretty heavy allegation," Mark said as he shifted in his chair. "What makes you think she's cheating on you?"

"Every day I come home, after I've been busting my ass in the office dealing with hundreds of personality types and situations, and she's in bed and the kids are gone. She's even withholding sex from me, so she must be getting it elsewhere. There is no other explanation."

I seethed with anger at the thought of my sweet Ruby wrapped up in someone else's arms, writhing in passion with another man deep inside of her. Just the thought and the images flashing through my mind left my mouth with an acidic taste.

I'm the only man that's ever supposed to know her in that way.

"Calm down, Ronan. I can remember when you and Ruby first got together. You were inseparable. I know she loves you and you love her. Whatever is going on with Ruby might not have anything to do with her having an affair," said Jacob with a voice of reason.

"I don't know what else to think. Something is going on with her, and whatever it is, it's not good." I voiced my fears aloud.

"I understand and sympathize with your feelings, Ronan," Jacob admitted. "Our wives are precious gems. The thought of another man partaking of what's rightfully ours is enough to cause a man to do some really bad things." His eyes flashed a deep understanding as he looked over in Destiny's direction.

"I just hope it doesn't come to that," I said, as one of the maids offered me another beer. Looking at Ruby who seemed preoccupied by her own thoughts, I figured she was thinking about the next time she would be able to slip away and see her man. "Yeah, I'll take another one," I told the maid, before changing the subject to put our conversation back on a lighter note.

After we'd talked about our picks for the upcoming football season, Johnathan asked, "Fellows, who is that curvaceous natural beauty with your wives?"

All of us turned our heads towards the women, who seemed to be in deep discussion about something. All of a sudden the beautiful woman that Jonathan spoke of looked our way and smiled before she turned back toward Shauntay to whisper something in her ear.

"That's one of Shauntay's friends," Mark said. "Her name is Serenity.

We watched as Shauntay and Serenity stood, leaving Destiny and Ruby behind with the babies as they walked over to us. I looked over at Jonathan who had the biggest grin on his face as he watched Serenity walk over. Out the side of my eye, I saw Jason watching her as well. Both of the twin brothers had a feral hungry look in their eyes as they continued to watch her come our way.

"Hey, baby," Mark greeted his wife. He pulled her lightly into the circle of his arms and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Isn't that sweet?" Serenity said with a smile.

"I just wanted to bring Serenity over to introduce her to Jonathan and Jason. Turning to Serenity, she said, "You know Jacob because he does business with your bank. And of course, you already know Ronan."

"I'm glad you could make it," Jacob said to Serenity.

"Thank you," Serenity said. "Your wife and I are making the best of friends."

Jonathan stepped forward to gain her attention. "It's nice to meet you, Serenity." He clasped one of her hands in his and brushed the back of it with a kiss. "I don't see a wedding ring so my hope is you are single," Jonathan said.

"No husband or boyfriend," Serenity giggled and sent a quick glance towards Shauntay to convey her excitement, before her glance returned to Jonathan. "Hello, it's nice to meet you, Jonathan," she said.

Jonathan held onto Serenity's hand until his brother stepped up and nudged him aside.

"It certainly is a pleasure to meet you," Jason said. "I noticed you earlier when you walked out of the house with Destiny. I should've come over to make your acquaintance then. Forgive me for my mistake," he said before taking her other hand in his to place a gentle lingering kiss on the inside of her wrist.

Serenity giggled more, while Jason still held her hand in his grasp. She looked between Jason and Jonathan with an expression of awe.

"Jason, give the lady her hand back," Jonathan said with a frown.

Jason reluctantly released Serenity's hand against his will. Watching them ogle over Serenity took my mind off my own problems for a while. I could tell they both had a strong interest in Serenity. I felt trouble brewing on the horizon, if one of them didn't tap out.

The rest of the evening passed with good food, conversation and friends. The night sky depicted a starry night with the gentle breeze caressing the palm trees as if they were lovers of long ago. I still managed to keep my distance from Ruby, until the evening came to an end.

I gathered my tired children together and warned them it was time to go. Little Montie and Montana hated to part with Yasmine and Benedict, until Destiny promised to make arrangements for them to have a play date again soon.

We said our goodbyes, and each of my friends said encouraging words that continued to ring in my ears. I felt better by the time my family and I left the barbecue and pulled out onto the roadway heading home. There was still a plaguing doubt that my wife was truly having an affair.

Yasmine and Benedict were yapping in the backseat about all the fun they had at the Turner's barbecue. I looked over at Ruby, when I felt her eyes on me. She quickly looked away and I returned my eyes back to the road as we made the uncomfortable ride home with a heavy feeling of doom hanging between us. When did we get to this point in our marriage? Where did our love go?

Chapter 14

Ruby

When he used to take me to parties, he treated me like I was the only one in the room. And when I would leave the room and walk back in, his whole world would change. Everyone thought that we were the perfect pair, and it was plain to see the spell we had on each other. But that night at the Turner's home, I felt like an outsider in my marriage. Ronan could hardly stand to look at me. As I sat in the presence of our friends feeling like an outcast, it was hard to breathe. The intricacies of the wall I built left me feeling incompetent as a wife.

When we got home, Ronan took a shower and went into his home office to work without saying a single word to me. I put the kids to sleep and took a long, hot shower. When I was done, I dabbed on a little of my Imperial Magesty perfume and slipped into a cute nightgown. I went to Ronan's office and stood in the doorway. I was only four weeks out from surgery and technically not released to have intercourse, but we had to reconnect in some way. I strolled over to him and began massaging his tense shoulders.

"What are you doing, Ruby?" he asked, seeming to tense up even more to the touch of my hand.

"I'm giving you a massage. Things have been very tense between us lately and I want us to have a night without misunderstandings."

He spun around in his chair and looked at me. "Is that really what you want, Ruby? Because you've been pretty standoffish lately."

"Ronan, it's what I want, along with a kiss," I said, before bending down to catch his lips for the most heated kiss.

At first Ronan didn't kiss me back, he just allowed me to have my way with his lips, but then he took my face into the palm of his hands and kissed me on a deep moan. Pulling me down onto his lap, he didn't lose contact with my lips. We stared into each other's eyes when the kiss broke, and I saw the man I loved. My gallant king. My husband.

A slight twinge of pain shot through my womanly parts as my body responded to our intimate moment. I can do this. I can make love to my husband through the pain. We both need this, I told myself as Ronan's warm hands went to my bra-free breasts and massaged them gently. I could feel his rock hard erection pressing against my hips as he moaned salaciously in my ear.

"I want you, Ruby," he said standing up and taking me with him. "That's all I want is you."

I slid down to stand on my feet and he backed me up against the wall with each of his hands having a tight grip on the palms of my ass. His sucking kisses against my neck and tight grip on my behind held my body in a storm.

I felt so damn sexy and desired, while feeling scared, at the same time. As he ravished my body with his hands and lips, I hadn't even noticed that I had mentally checked out. I was staring straight ahead and my body was as rigid as a board.

Ronan's grip loosened and the kisses stopped. The frown that slowly crept onto his forehead didn't match the rock solid erection still pressing against my thigh. His fist hit the wall beside my head. "Ruby, what's the motherfucker's name?" he said, with fury in his silver eyes.

"What are you talking about, Ronan?"

"The man that has come in between us, Ruby. You can't even stand here and kiss me without thinking about him. Tell me his name, because he's a dead man!"

"I'm not cheating on you. I never would do that," I said, offended that was the conclusion he'd come to about me." I walked away from him and was in the doorway when he spun me around.

"Ruby, why are you the one getting offended, when you're the one who has had a million excuses not to let me touch you? We had a rambunctious love life and the next minute – nothing. And tonight, you come in here to seduce me, only to make me feel like some kind of pervert, while you stand there looking like a scared little girl?"

"That was not my intention..."

"You deny being sick, but yet you're tired all the time. All I can think of is that you're using your energy with someone else."

"Ronan, I promise you there is no other man."

"If it's not someone else, what is it? I can't help you if you're being all secretive."

"I don't want to talk about it, Ronan. Just let's drop it! I'm sorry for bothering you."

"Ruby," he said taking my hand. "I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want to feel this way." My heart broke in two looking at Ronan as he poured his heart out to me. "I think we need to go see a counselor," he finally said.

"I don't need a counselor."

"Ruby, we've had a successful marriage up until this point and I don't want anything to change that. Sometimes, it takes another person to get to the root of the problem."

"I don't have a problem to get to the root of, Ronan. We can make it through this rough patch without a shrink," I said, feeling even guiltier about our divide. Ronan was pulling out all the stops, including seeing a shrink, just to keep our marriage happy and I was standing there with the most deceitful smile of assurance on my face.

"Un-fucking-believable. I don't believe you are being so nonchalant about our marriage, Ruby. Having a happy home is very important to me. You know that I was raised by my grandparents who were married over fifty years. This marriage...you ...our kids, are important to me," he said as he looked at me somberly. "And I will do anything to have my sweet Ruby back," he said as he uncrossed my arms and held my hands in his.

"I'm still here," I said placing my hand over his heart. "And you are still here." I placed my hand over my heart.

"You're still mine?" asked Ronan.

"Now and always, Ronan."

"You have to keep the communication line open with me, Ruby."

"I'm sorry, Ronan."

"Don't be sorry, just don't make me an outsider," he said as he took me by the hand.

"You will forever be inside me, Ronan."

"Let's go to bed, Ruby." A fiery storm brewed in his eyes as he guided me to the bedroom. He walked me around to his side of the bed. I watched him slide underneath the covers before pulling me down on top of him.

I lay on top of my husband, listening to the beat of his heart. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I've just been feeling a little down and missing my mother," I said, which was the truth.

"Babe, you shut me out for a whole month and it's been hell for me."

"It won't happen again," I said as I nuzzled up against his chest.

Ronan's shaft was hard as steel poking my womanly core. Maybe my desire for sex had abandoned me, but my love for my husband had not. I slid down the length of Ronan's body.

"What are you doing Ruby?" Ronan asked in a thick tone laced with unbridled emotion.

"Pleasing my husband," I said before slipping my hand into the slit of his Pajama bottoms.

Ronan groaned once his hardness was enclosed in my hand. I squeezed his cock and moved my hand in an up and down motion before replacing my hand with the warmth of my mouth.

"Ahh, Ruby baby. That feels so good," Ronan groaned out from deep within.

I found pleasure in satisfying his primal needs. He expanded in length and thickness as I bobbed my head up and down. My hands cupped his full balls to give them a gentle squeeze. Ronan's hips lifted from the bed as his hands entangled and buried themselves in my hair.

"Shit!" Ronan growled out loud in sheer delight.

My tongue slid up his hardness and swirled around the tip. Sweet cum leaked down the sides of his penis. His taste was all Ronan, my Ronan, whom I loved dearly.

"Get up Ruby, I'm about to cum sweetheart.

"Cum for me Ronan. Feed me," I said before enveloping him deeply into my mouth again. I swallowed his essence that gushed forth like a river. I swallowed and swallowed, until I depleted him of all he had to give. I kissed the tip of his penis before I slid it back into his pajamas and slid up his body into his arms where I belonged.

Chapter 15

Ronan

I was staring blindly at my computer screen, when Jessica's voice dragged me from my deep thoughts. "Mr. Michaels, don't forget about the board meeting at two," she said through the intercom.

"Thank you, Jessica. I had forgotten all about the board meeting."

"You are welcome, sir. That's why you have me," she said. "But don't forget that I start my maternity leave this Friday. Are you sure you don't want me to handle finding my replacement? You are cutting it pretty close in finding someone to be here and having time for me to show them the ropes," she said.

Shoot!

I glanced out my top floor window at the lush green lawn below that was dotted with flourishing flowered trees and plants alike. The picturesque pond below had several ducks swimming in it. I did forget that Jessica was going on leave Friday. Just like I'd forgotten about the board meeting. I glanced at my wrist watch and realized I should be on my way. It wouldn't sit well with my colleagues if I was late.

"Thank you for your concern, Jessica, but don't worry about it. No matter what you do, there will be no replacement for your dedication and superb work," I said as I powered down my computer so I could go to the meeting. "I'll more than likely just pull someone from the temp service pool. They always have people standing by. You just worry about having a healthy baby and leave the worries of this office behind," I said, as I stroked my beard thinking about how in the living hell the office would run without her for two months.

"Thank you, sir," she said, ending our conversation.

A few minutes later, I entered the boardroom where everyone else was already seated around the table.

"Since Mr. Michaels has arrived, we can get this meeting started," Mr. Hobson said from the head of the U-shaped table. He was our chief operating officer, and second in command whenever Jacob wasn't available.

"First off, I want to hear each of your ideas on how we can diversify Turner Enterprises more. I've noticed in independent reports that in today's racial climate bigger companies are getting inquiries from potential employees about diversity, and we want to make sure that we are being sensitive to the issue, as well as be ahead of the curve," he said looking around the room for a response.

Mark bit the bullet and was the first one to speak. "I've always raised the question about what needs to be done to increase diversity at Turner. It sometimes feels as if there is quite a bit of attention given to the women's issues and less about the question of race in the industry. I've always wondered if one area of progression hurts the other area or if we will get anything accomplished by advancing both and achieving diversity for all, women and people of color at the same time."

"That is a very good point, Mr. Andrews. One achievement doesn't have to overshadow the other, if both will bring diversity to our company. A good thing would be to implement a tangible initiative to show our employees that we are diverse already and that we are making strides to be receptive of people from all walks of life," Mr. Hobson said.

"We are a global company and we must stay on top of our game at all times to infiltrate other construction companies that think like they're in the 60s. They can't compete with us, when we have a team of happy, engaged employees, Mark added.

"I must admit that this all sounds great," I began. "But from a quality standpoint, I want the most qualified person in each position. To me, it doesn't matter if that person is red, blue or pink. I just want an efficiently run construction site where everyone focuses on quality. If that means we have to–"

"We can have quality and diversity," Mr. Hobson said, cutting me off. "That's why we are dumping another ten million dollars into the scholarship fund. We want trained and qualified people."

"I have no qualms with that. One of the main reasons I've been here as long as I have is because of our commitment to equality for all people. That's very important to me," I said and smiled in Mr. Hobson's direction. "Here are my thoughts on it: As a start, we should first outline how we are already set apart from our competition. We can ensure the best win in this area by doing a review of all pay and advancement opportunities and address anything that doesn't add up correctly. We want to make sure the wealth and opportunities are distributed by merit, but proportionately too. Secondly, I think we should review the education levels that our employees have reached and make sure we're utilizing each person to the best of their potential."

"Yeah, it's quite possible that we could have someone sitting on a degree for a position that we're advertising for and we're just not utilizing our resources," Mark said.

"Like what happened in accounting last year with Julia. She had a master's degree and wasn't offered the management position over a new hire," I added.

"Excellent points," Mr. Hobson said as he peered at his secretary who was jotting down notes as we spoke. "These are things we all know we should be doing, but in the day-to-day activities doing the right thing can get lost in translation. Maggie, I want you to start compiling the data of employee education levels and salaries and have it ready for our next meeting."

"Yes, sir," Maggie said as she continued scribbling in her notepad.

Others at the table added their input here and there before the meeting ended two hours later with everyone in agreement of solid plans to enhance our benefits packages, create a more diverse environment for our employees to work in, and expand our territory by being more inclusive. Mr. Hobson also reminded us that it was mandatory that all higher ups be at the annual masquerade ball next week.

I left the board room and headed to my office to finish up the project I was working on. The meeting was a drain, and I needed to relax. Hell, after the confusing month I had at home, I decided to pour up a double scotch from my stash. I downed the contents of my glass, grabbed my suit jacket and left the building. Thirty minutes later, I pulled into the JTC Kitchen & Bar parking lot to sit at the bar for a while before I went home.

As I turned off the ignition, I noticed the light blinking on my cell phone for a missed call. I called voicemail and listened to Ruby's voice.

"Hey love," her sweet voice started. "I was wondering if you would be home for dinner tonight. I'm making your favorite, roast beef with veggies. Call me back when you get this message. I love you," she added in a tentative voice.

I smiled at the thought of finishing where we started last night.

Just a few drinks and I'll be there, Ruby.

"Why, hi there Ronan. Ruby let you out the house tonight," Shauntay's friend, Serenity, said and giggled as I walked to the door. Then, she turned toward the door to walk in with me.

"I left the office and came here to have a few drinks. How are you doing tonight?" I said as I opened the door and ushered her into the restaurant by placing my hand at the small of her back.

"I'm doing well. Just waiting on my food order and then it's to the house and to bed as soon as possible," she said weakly. On second look, she looked washed and desperate for the closest bed.

"Girl, you look like you could really use some rest," I told her, as the waiter came up to us asking how many was in our party. "We're here separately, and I'm going to the bar," I said.

"I have a to-go order, so I need to go to the bar, as well," Serenity said as we both walked to the bar. She went to one end to retrieve her order and I sat by the TV to hang out for a while. "Well, it was nice seeing you Ronan. Tell Ruby I said hi," said Serenity, as she was leaving.

"Sure will," I said with a wave.

Lively R&B music was performed by a new live band. I scanned the restaurant for familiar faces. I couldn't deny the fact that I hoped I'd run into Misty Crewe on one of my many trips to this bar. But I was glad I didn't see her and that I saw a family friend, instead.

"What can I get you to drink?" the bartender asked as he came to stand before me.

"I would like a scotch neat, no ice, and no water," I said.

He wasted no time in filling my drink order. When I took my first sip, I waited for the burn to hit the back of my throat. I relished the burn and next time ordered a double.

"Someone is drinking away their troubles," I heard a softly spoken voice say behind me. I froze momentarily before I turned around on my barstool and faced the beautiful and sexily-dressed Misty Crewe who looked even more beautiful and refreshed than the last time I saw her.

"Hi," I said. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"Hi," she said as she sat down on the barstool beside me. "Well, I was hoping to see you again," she admitted freely.

I was hoping to see you again, too.

Renegade thoughts I dared to say ran through my mind. I swiveled my barstool around to face forward. "Bartender give this lady whatever she'd like and put it on my tab," I said instead.

"Thank you, Mr. Michaels. I could really use a drink right about now," she said as a worried look entered her otherwise dazzling eyes.

"What can I get you to drink, pretty lady?" asked the bartender. His eyes raked over Misty's low-cut bodice that exposed her ample cleavage, and an unexplainable current of uneasiness flowed through me.

Me, jealous over any other woman that my sweet Ruby. No.

It was impossible for me to feel that way about another woman. Yet, there was this feeling.

"I would like a long island ice tea, please, and make it strong. I need it after the week I've had," she replied.

"What's going on with you?" I asked her and turned my thoughts away from the reason I was finding solace at the bottom of a glass of alcohol. Ruby.

I gave Misty my full attention.

"The airlines I worked for called us in first thing Monday morning and had a meeting with all of the flight attendants. My immediate supervisor informed us that they were having immediate cutbacks and five of our flight attendants would be laid off immediately," she let out an exasperated sigh.

"I am so sorry to hear that," I gave her a concerned look as the bartender sat her drink down in front of her and she took a healthy sip from her glass.

"Yeah, me too," she replied. "Guess who made the first cut in getting laid off?"

"You did."

"I sure did. After giving the airlines so many years of my dedicated service, I feel like a disposable piece of shit," she said.

"There are other airlines that I'm sure will grab you up," I said trying to encourage her.

"The thing is all of the airlines have been cutting back lately and they just aren't hiring. When things pick up, I'm one of the first on the list for them to call back, but what am I going to do in the meantime? I have bills to pay and an unemployment check isn't going to cut it," she said bitterly.

An idea dawned on me and slowly began to take shape. "My secretary just went on maternity leave and I haven't gotten around to replacing her. I was supposed to consult with the temp service that my office usually uses, but I have been so busy and caught up in my own troubles that I never got around to it. Do you have any type of office skills?" I asked.

She smiled and looked into my eyes as a sparkle of hope entered hers. "I have good spoken and communication skills and I am a master at time management, if I do say so myself. I also can type around fifty five words per minute. I'm good with most office software. I also am a stickler for accuracy and I pay attention to detail," she said. "If there is anything else I need to know, I am a quick learner if given the chance."

I was quiet for a moment as I studied her. Did I really want this toxically beautiful woman roaming my workplace, knowing I'd see her every day and possibly travel down the road my feelings were leading to with her? Yeah, there was no need of me lying to myself; it was something about her feisty attitude that reminded me of Ruby when she was younger.

I can control myself, because I know who I love. And, I'll be helping someone who's down on their luck.

"If you want the job as my secretary temporarily, it is yours," I offered.

"Oh my God, Mr. Michaels, are you really offering me a job? I can't believe this!"

"Yes, Misty, I am truly offering you a temporary job that will run for about two months," I said, wanting to make sure I clarified that the position was temporary. "That should give you enough time to find something more solid."

"Wow," she said, still unable to process the turn of events.

She slipped down from her barstool and threw her arms around my neck. Her smell enveloped my senses and caused a tightening in my loins as her ample bosom and hard twin nipples pushed against my chest. I could feel her warmth through my lightweight suit jacket and shirt. Sweat trickled down the side of my temple before my arms wrapped around her of their own volition.

Misty felt at home in my arms, until I remembered where I was, who I was, and where my home was. I was a married man who shouldn't have felt so comfortable holding another woman in my arms.

My arms quickly released her, and her arms reluctantly retracted from my neck. Amidst the crowded bar, she pulled back and peered into my eyes. Her brown slanted eyes drew me in like a magnet. I stalked her voluptuous, shiny, glossed lips. My mouth watered at the thought of what her lips tasted like. I wondered what they would feel like wrapped around my shaft.

Were they as sweet and soft as they looked?

"Have you had dinner, Mr. Michaels, or can I call you Ronan?" Misty asked drawing me out of my reverie.

"No, I mean, yes. Well, I haven't eaten and yes you can call me Ronan," I admitted as I remembered I hadn't eaten since the lunch Ruby packed for me.

"Let's get a table," she suggested. "I really would like to know more about the man who so generously offered me a job. I hope you know that I can never repay you for your kindness," she added as I stood and walked over to one of the empty tables in the restaurant.

I held an empty seat out for Misty and pushed her up closer to the table before taking my own seat directly across from her.

"You don't have to repay me, ever," I said, resuming our conversation.

Her Asian slanted eyes held me momentarily entranced. Their exotic beauty pulled me in and I lost myself willingly in her gaze. I found the strength to eventually tear my eyes away from her sexiness and raise my hand to signal a waiter to order our food.

Misty smiled and fluttered her eyes under long lashes. I was pretty sure she knew she was drawing me into her web, and I didn't even try to put the brakes on to stop it. The air was clear between Ruby and I, but my mind rationalized that if she could keep secrets, so could I.

"There goes that frown again," Misty said drawing me out of my troubled thoughts. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" she asked reaching across the table to rub my arm soothingly.

It went against everything I believed in to feel that way for a new woman. There was something about Misty that made me comfortable, even if I hadn't known her for a long time. Besides being gorgeous, she was forward and genuine, which pulled me in deeper. She made me feel as if I could tell her, a mere stranger, anything and she wouldn't judge me.

I breathed deeply and opened my mouth as my sufferings spilled out like there was no ending to the troubled waters.

"I'm having some problems in my marriage. My wife...Ruby, who used to be so warm and loving hasn't wanted me to touch her lately. She flinches away from me like I am a horrible stranger when I try to touch her. It's like she wants me to turn on and off, whenever it suits her," I relived the anger and frustration that tried to overtake me once again as I thought about how Ruby had changed. "I'm her husband, damn it!"

"I'm sorry you are having trouble with your wife," Misty said with sympathy in her voice. "If you were mine, you would never have to be concerned about where my loyalty lies," she added looking into my eyes.

I shifted in my seat and adjusted my tie. "I shouldn't have brought you into my personal life. It's inappropriate given that you will be working for me soon," I said as I refocused the conversation.

"No, no, Ronan. It's obvious that you needed someone to talk to, so don't you dare apologize for opening up to me. I know you haven't known me long, but you will see that I'm more than willing to be your listening ear," Misty said as she smiled at me.

The waitress brought our plates of food and sat them before us, which broke our eye contact. We ate our meals in a comfortable silence for a while until our hunger was appeased.

"Ronan, can I tell you something and promise me that you won't think I'm strange?" Misty asked.

"I promise," I said looking into her warm brown eyes. "What do you want to tell me?"

"It feels like I've known you my entire life. I've never felt like this about anyone."

"I feel the same way," I said. "But I'm going to be honest with you, Misty. You remind me so much of Ruby in our early years of dating and our marriage. It's not so much of you looking like her. It's the way you carry yourself. I haven't met a woman who has ever been able to do that besides Ruby, until now. I hope you aren't offended," I added.

"Of course not, Ronan. I'm far from offended. Dare I say I'm a bit flattered? She's a lucky woman to be married to you. Do you have children?" asked Misty.

"Yes, we have a son and daughter," I said feeling at ease as I thought about my beautiful children.

"I saw how your eyes lit up when you spoke of them," she said. "How old are they?" She seemed genuinely interested in knowing more about my kids.

"Yasmine, who is my oldest, is eight years old and my son, Benedict, is six," I said in the voice of a proud father.

"Yasmine is such a beautiful name and Benedict is a strong name for a boy who will one day grow up to be just as upstanding of a man as his father is," she said.

"Thank you."

My cell phone began buzzing.

"Sorry," I said before removing my phone from its clip to see who was calling.

My home number appeared on the screen. I hadn't returned Ruby's call and forgot she said she was cooking dinner.

Looking at the spread of food before me, I dismissed the call and shut off my phone before returning it to my waistband.

"You could have answered your phone," Misty said. "I wouldn't have minded."

"I know, but I'll return that call later," I said. "Since you know a little about me, Misty, will you tell me something about yourself?" I asked.

"Of course, Ronan, what would you like to know?"

"Anything you decide to tell me would be great. I am not picky," I said with a chuckle.

"I'm twenty six years old and the only child of my Asian mother who had an affair with a married black man. He didn't want to have anything to do with my mother once he found out she was pregnant with me, so I have never known my father. I do know that I have two brothers and one sister that I've never met, nor do I care to. If a man who fathered me didn't want anything to do with an innocent baby, then surely I want nothing to do with him." She shrugged her shoulders as if it didn't matter, but I could see the hurt look that resided in her eyes.

We talked for hours that night learning little tidbits about each other's lives. Beyond my attraction, I felt like I gained a friend by the time we said our goodbyes.

I walked her to her car and saw her safely inside before she pulled out of the parking garage. I watched the twinkling of her car's taillights as she disappeared into the late night traffic.

Chapter 16

Ruby

I sat in front of my vanity and put the finishing touches on my hair that was in an upswept curly do with spirals of curls hanging loose to encase my face. My hair had started to grow thicker and was looking fuller, and I was wearing wigs less and less. My red ballroom gown billowed out from below my waistline and adorned me as if I were an eighteenth century queen. It had been a while since I felt gorgeous, but that's how I felt as I stood up and wrapped my shawl around my arms. I was accompanying Ronan to Turner Enterprises' annual masquerade ball.

He was standing in the doorway watching me, when I turned around.

"You look absolutely stunning, Ruby," he said as he walked over to take my hand.

"Thanks. You don't look too shabby yourself, Ronan." Dressed in a black tux with long coattail and an old-fashioned red, silk ruffled shirt designed with ancient times in mind, Ronan looked like divine royalty.

"The sitter is here and we have to get going," he said.

"I'm all ready to go, just let me grab my clutch and mask," I said picking up the items on my way to the door.

"How are you feeling tonight?" he asked as we walked downstairs.

"I feel good. Ready to have a good time," I said.

"Great, we're going to go mingle a little and be back home by ten or eleven," he said as he picked up his gold mask with an intricate red design surrounding it.

"Sounds good to me," I said, adjusting my shawl.

"Come here," he led me to our full mirror in the hallway. "Do you see how your pretty brown cheeks are perked up? Do you see how perfect we look together as a couple?"

I looked in the mirror. I looked and felt vibrant for a change, and for all outward appearances we did portray the perfect couple. Us standing in the mirror would've made a Kodak moment for sure.

I peered up into the mirror again and looked into his eyes, wanting to find the man I loved and kiss him, long and hard. His neck eased down slowly bringing his lips close to mine. I closed my eyes and felt his lips cover mine. My guard slipped when his tongue slithered into my mouth as he attempted to deepen our kiss. But I pulled away. I didn't want his passion to rise and the kiss to get out of hand so I ended it abruptly.

"We don't want to be late," I said, clutching the items in my hand. I walked to the door and waited for him to join me.

The ride over to the Miami Marriott Marquis was mostly quiet. I figured Ronan was thinking about the way I cut him off in the middle of our heated kiss. Either that, or he was thinking about sneaking away on another date with Serenity.

Last week, when I'd been calling his phone and leaving messages, I went to JTC Kitchen & Bar to get his favorite dessert to go with our dinner. But when I pulled up to the building, what did I see? Ronan's hand on the small of Serenity's back ushering her into the bar. Her dress was clinging to her like a second skin on her thick apple booty, and jealousy ignited and burned through me like a wildfire as I continued to watch them.

They looked like the perfect couple, too. Both so young, healthy and vibrant. Ronan bent to whisper something close to Serenity's ear. The intimacy of their behavior struck me deep like the steel blade of a cold knife, a knife twisting itself deep within my guts. They were smiling and stepping out in public as if he didn't have a wife. Just like the love he declared he had for me was all one big, fat, gigantic lie.

I remember thinking, no wonder he didn't answer my calls, as I sat in my car and fell apart watching them together. Approaching them with tears in my eyes wasn't an option, so I drove home contemplating my next move, which I still haven't quite figured out.

Ronan thought I was sound asleep when he entered our bedroom at one o'clock in the morning later on that night, but I wasn't. I watched him between the slits of my eyelids as he tiptoed through the room to the shower.

The next morning, I woke up and fixed a hearty breakfast for him and the kids and acted as if nothing had been wrong and his deceit was hidden from me. I'd always been a person to allow people to show me who they were through their actions, and I wasn't liking the conclusion I was coming to about Ronan.

I pulled myself from my musings as Ronan handed the keys over to the valet to park our SUV. I stood on the other side of the vehicle waiting for him to join me as we walked through the doors of the Marriot arm and arm on the red carpet.

We entered the contemporary and elegant ballroom that hosted exquisite arched floor to ceiling windows that invited one to notice the beauty of the full moon with a sky full of twinkling stars to behold. I knew in daylight those same windows would give off a view to the array of beautiful flower gardens that surrounded the landscape.

Waiters and waitresses worked the room with champagne in crystal glasses on trays. Ronan grabbed two flutes off a tray and handed one over to me.

I didn't accept it. "I'm not drinking anything tonight," I said, knowing I couldn't mix alcohol with my prescribed medications.

"I thought you loved champagne. Is this another change?" he asked, as he looked around the elegantly decorated ballroom.

"Nothing has changed," I said pursing my lips tight.

"Yeah, suit yourself," Ronan said as he turned up the contents of both glasses and guzzled them down. I could see his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed. He set the champagne glasses aside on a nearby table when he finished. "I know you will suit yourself anyway. You've been doing a lot of that lately."

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" I asked, ready to confront him on his bullshit right in the middle of that cheese-eating party, but Carl interrupted.

"Ronan and Mrs. Michaels," said Carl Stevens, a long-time friend and employee at Turner Enterprises. He extended his hand in greeting to Ronan then reached out to embrace me. His disturbance came right in time to deflect a public argument with Ronan.

"Hello, Carl, long time no see." I greeted with a bright plastered smile. "Did Lisa come with you?"

"I couldn't go anywhere without my beautiful wife. She had to use the little girl's room," he said with a chuckle. "And, it has been a long time. We still miss seeing you at Turner Enterprises every day. Your beautiful smile used to light up the place," he added as he put his arms around my neck like an old friend would.

"I'm sure you do miss her," Ronan said, easing his arm around my waist and gently pulling me to his side.

I quietly studied the wariness in Ronan's gaze. This was new for him, acting jealous because a former co-worker and friend said he missed me. Carl calling my name drew me out of my thoughts.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I was just saying that while we miss and love you, the new secretary knows her way around the office and she has excellent people skills. She says that you saved her life by giving her this job, Ronan," he said turning to Ronan.

"How did you save this woman's life, Ronan?" I asked with a puzzled look in my eyes. I was surprised to hear he selected a new secretary to work in Jessica's place, since he had not mentioned it.

He shrugged his shoulders and fidgeted with his tux, as if he were uncomfortable. "Saying I 'saved her life' is strong language, when all I did was fill a temporary position. She just lost her job and I offered her one. It's that simple," he said suddenly avoiding all physical contact with me.

"There is my Lisa now," said Carl waving Lisa over as he gained her attention.

I was glad to see Lisa but I didn't want our conversation interrupted. It gave Ronan a chance to escape the subject.

I caught up with Lisa for a few minutes. Then, it was time for everyone to be seated for dinner.

"Seeing Carl must've been the highlight of your week. That's the biggest glow I've seen you have in weeks," Ronan said through the set tight line of his lips as we walked to our seat. He grabbed another flute of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter and threw it back in one swallow. "Is that what it takes to see you smile? Another man's attention?" he added, for only my ears.

Mark, Shauntay, Carl, and Lisa were at our table, so I just tilted my head to the side and whispered, "You have some damn nerve coming at me like that after you went on a date at the JTC bar with Serenity, of all people."

"I did not," he said, looking at me like I was the one crazy.

"You're a damn liar," I hissed out, "but we will talk about it when we get home," I said through a forced smile.

"Suit yourself, but it sounds like you're cooking up some kind of story to make up for your own cheating and short comings," he said.

I tilted my head to the side and gave him a look that let him know I was on my last fucking straw. If he said one more word to me our personal business was about to be popular knowledge. He gestured as if he didn't care to talk anymore and then turned to Mark and struck up a conversation. Dinner was served shortly afterwards and everyone dug in, except me.

"Is something wrong with your food, too?" Ronan asked, as I picked at the food on my plate.

"It's fine..." my voice trailed as my eyes followed Ronan's eyes that were slowly moving across the room.

His eyes collided instantly with a stunning woman who had just entered the room. His breath caught in his chest as he took in her curvy body encased in a fitted mermaid evening ball gown with sequined beading and a tulle train attached to her shimmering silver gown. Her breasts were barely encased in the tight fitting bodice. As much as I watched her, I watched Ronan's reaction to her. He only looked away from the woman, when she turned and walked in a different direction.

"Ruby, you look flustered," Lisa interrupted by leaning over to peer at me.

"Are you okay, sis?" Shauntay asked with great concern in her voice.

"I'm not feeling too well. I really hate to do this, but Ronan will you take me home?"

Ronan jumped to his feet as if a match had been lit to his ass. "Yeah, let's go."

"Is there anything we can do for you, Ruby?" Mark and Shauntay inquired looking worried as I stood and said goodbye to everyone around the table.

"I feel a migraine coming on and before it gets too out of hand, I just want to go home, pop a pain pill and lie down," I said in a strained voice.

Headache wasn't the only thing I felt. A strong piercing in my heart caused me to nearly double over in pain, from seeing Ronan react to that woman like that. I had no doubt that she was his new secretary.

"Poor dear, we really do hope you feel better," said Lisa, speaking on behalf of Carl as well.

"Take care of that beautiful wife of yours," called out Carl to our backs. "Our Ruby is too precious for you to allow anything to happen to her," he added with fondness.

"Will do," Ronan gave a quick reply over his shoulder, before leading me out the door. We stood outside in the balmy air waiting on the valet to bring the SUV around. Ronan put his hand on the small of my back to help me inside the car.

"Don't touch me!" I jumped away from him. "Keep your hands off."

He raised his hands in the air and went around and got in the driver's seat. The ride home was just as subdued as the ride before. This time, I knew my heart was breaking because I'd seen Ronan look at another woman the way he used to look at me.

Entering our home, I left Ronan to dismiss the babysitter while I walked upstairs. It wasn't long before he came into the bedroom while I slipped out of my heels. He got a Tylenol from the medicine cabinet and handed it to me.

"Here's some water and a Tylenol," he said and handed me a nightgown. I took the medicine and placed the glass on the nightstand. I turned my back to him and he unzipped my dress.

As he began loosening his bowtie, I asked, "Ronan, who was that woman wearing the silver dress?"

"Ruby, there were many women wearing different variances of silver and gray tonight. You expect me to tell you the names of each one?"

"I'm talking about the one who you couldn't take your eyes off."

"I don't recall staring at anyone in particular," he said. "Wait, first you accuse me of dating Serenity and now I'm supposedly stalking someone with my eyes at the ball? What are you trying to say? Damn, I wish you would make up your mind. Being paranoid doesn't look good on you," he said with impatience.

"I know for a fact I saw you with Serenity."

"Yes, you did. We were both entering the bar at the same time, so I talked to her. She had a to-go order and went right home after she picked it up. I had planned to go in for a few drinks before coming home," he said. "But I ended up watching the game and having one too many shots."

"Why didn't you answer my calls though? At first your phone was ringing and then it started going straight to voicemail," I questioned further. The part of his story about him miraculously walking into the bar at the same split second that Serenity did was plausible. However, him sending my calls to voicemail didn't add up.

"At the time that you called, I was in a meeting about Turner business," he said.

Was it possible that our lack of intimacy was causing me to see something that wasn't there? Maybe there was validity in his accusations, after all. Maybe I was becoming a bitchy, insecure, paranoid wife.

"Well, I'm sorry for accusing you of being with Serenity. But that's still no excuse for you to act the way you did with Carl. We've known him for years and he's a good friend of ours. There was absolutely no need for you to be jealous."

"I apologize for that. You are right. It just does something to me to see another man touch you."

"Then you know how I felt when I saw you touching Serenity."

"Point taken," Ronan said as he helped me into my gown. "It won't happen again." His hand lingered on my shoulders burning through layers of skin.

"Good, now I want you to go back to the ball and enjoy yourself," I said, pushing him away. I was completely drained of energy. I lied down on the bed, rested my head against my pillow, and immediate relief overtook my body. I was tired of arguing and just wanted to rest peacefully.

"No, I wouldn't feel right leaving you. How would it look to others for me to leave you alone when you're feeling ill?"

"No one will think badly of you. It's only a migraine anyway. Once these pain pills take effect, all will be good in my world. All I'm going to do is sleep anyway," I said as I slid between the sheets.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm positive," I said closing my eyes and drifting into a deep sleep, before Ronan even closed our front door.

Chapter 17

Ronan

I arrived back at the hotel and the party was in full swing. People had taken to the ballroom dance floor. Music from the live entertainment filled the room with an upbeat number that had the dancers shaking their hips and gyrating to the rhythm of the beat.

"I thought you had left," a soft voice said coming from behind me.

I turned around to confront the elegantly and sexily dressed Misty Crewe. "I did leave but now I am back," I said feeling a smile beginning to form on my lips.

"Did your wife come back with you?"

"No, she's the reason I had to leave in the first place. She wasn't feeling well," I replied.

"I'm sorry she's sick, but I am glad you came back. I can have you to myself for a while," she said.

My eyes widened at her admittance. Misty didn't beat around the bush. Her outspoken truth was my hidden desire, as well.

"In that case, I am glad I came back," I finally admitted as I looked into her seductive brown eyes.

As her warm gaze held mines, I wondered for a moment how it would feel to be inside of her. I could feel an uncomfortable tightening in my dress slacks as the images of Misty Crewe's naked body writhing beneath my own in wanton pleasure assailed my mind.

"Ronan, what are you thinking?" she asked stepping closer to me, so close that I could see the lighter specks of color surrounding the irises of her eyes. Her sexy perfume filled my nostrils, when she invaded my space. I inhaled her scent like it was my last breath.

"I am thinking things I have no business thinking," I muttered.

"Tell me," she whispered as her tongue swept across her plump lips wetting them.

I inhaled her scent again deeply and wanted to capture her tongue inside my mouth. I shook myself from the trance she'd caught me in and took a much needed step back. I put extra space between us as I tried to reclaim my senses.

"This can't be happening I told her. Especially here," I said looking around to see whether we gained anyone's attention. I especially wanted to make sure Shauntay and Mark weren't observing the mystifying connection I shared with Misty. If Shauntay witnessed my demeanor, she would know exactly what was going on. But, everyone was either dancing the night away or in deep conversation as the unlimited supply of alcohol, food, and good music circulated through the room.

"I could use a drink," Misty finally said.

"Now that's doable," I said as we walked over to the bar area.

We each ordered our drinks and found a quiet corner to enjoy them as we watched people dancing on the dance floor. We talked and laughed and talked some more before Misty said she better not drink anymore because she had to be coherent enough to drive home. I agreed with her and offered to walk her to her car. She had parked across the street since she didn't want to pay the hefty fee for valet parking. I walked with her across the street to her 2009 blue Toyota Camry that was in the free parking area.

She popped the locks with her automatic key.

I opened the door for her to get in. "Good night, Misty," I said stepping away from the car.

"Good night, Ronan," she said gazing up at me longingly as if she wanted to say something more but decided against it.

She slid her key in the ignition and turned the key with nothing happening. She turned the ignition again but, again, nothing happened. I stood back with my hands deep in my pockets as she tried to crank her car. Finally, I walked back over and knocked on her window to gain her attention. She opened her car door instead of letting down the window.

"My car won't start," she said, stating the obvious. "It does this every now and again. I was hoping it didn't act up tonight," she added with disappointment in her voice.

"It's unsafe for you to ride in a car that does this, even if it only happens some of the time," I reprimanded her as if she should have known better.

"I know, but I don't have the eighteen hundred dollars to fix the problem," she admitted.

"Come on. I'll give you a lift home and have my tow service come get your car and take it to the repair shop I use."

"Are you sure? I could probably get it to start if I keep trying," she said, taking her purse and keys from the car. "I don't want to be a problem."

"You are no problem," I assured her as we headed back across the street. I handed my valet ticket over to have my SUV brought around.

I helped Misty inside before going around to get in the driver's seat. "Where do you live?" I asked.

She gave me her address, and I punched it into the GPS before driving off towards her apartment building near Cutler Bay. I turned on the radio and the sounds of Usher's smooth voice filled the SUV's interior with his smooth tone.

"You have a beautiful wife," Misty suddenly said softly as I drove towards her apartment.

I glanced at her to take in her expression. The sound of her sexy voice sent a tightening straight to my loins. She was looking out the window taking in the night's scenery, so I couldn't see the look in her eyes.

"Ruby is beautiful," I agreed. "But her beauty isn't the reason I married her. Ruby's beautiful heart is what drew me to her in the very beginning. She was beautiful from the inside out, until recently," I added with wonder in my tone as I fought to bank down my desire for Misty.

"Do you think she really has a lover?" Misty questioned me as the vehicle ate up the miles bringing us closer to her apartment. She voiced my concern aloud, and I hated the feeling that overtook me with the thought of another man touching what was supposed to belong to me and me only.

"I really don't know," I said feeling a crushing pressure in my chest at the thought of it. "Things have gotten some better between us. But I feel there's no other logical reason why she has done this roundabout change. There must be something there."

Misty's hand reached out to touch my leg soothingly. I took my eyes from the road momentarily and met her warm, brown gaze. A heated feeling from where her hand sat traveled straight up my leg and to my groin where pressure began to build, lengthening my already throbbing cock. My eyes traveled to her ample cleavage as her breasts pressed against her shimmery dress before returning to the road. I noticed how hard her nipples were. They were poking against the material of her costume.

I cleared my throat and breathed in deeply as Misty's hand inched further up my thigh and squeezed the muscle in my leg. Her Calusa Harbor apartment building in the Cutler Bay Area came into view and I turned into the allotted parking space.

I turned off the ignition and faced her.

"Well, I got you here in one piece," I said trying to put a stop to my wayward thoughts. Illicit thoughts that could lead me into a world of trouble that I knew I would regret in the long run.

"Thank you so much, Ronan, and thank you also for having your repairman check out my car. How can I ever repay you?" she asked with a suggestive look.

"You don't have to repay me, Misty. What are friends for if they can't help one another from time to time?"

"Is that how you see me, as a friend, Ronan?"

"A friend is a great place to start. Right?" I said answering her question with a question of my own.

"I'll take being your friend any day," she said with a sultry smile. "Since we are friends, you can walk me to my apartment door."

"As your friend, that would be my pleasure," I teased her before getting out of the SUV and walking around to the passenger side to open the door for her.

She slid down to the ground, and the slit of her dress slid open exposing her sexy thighs from her long dress.

Mercy me.

We walked to her apartment. She reached inside her purse to remove her key and unlocked the door before deactivating her alarm as she punched in a code. She then turned towards me, looking up into my eyes. My heart beat rapidly against my chest.

"Will you come in for a drink before you go?" she asked.

By the look in her eyes, I knew without a doubt she was offering me more. If I was using the good sense God gave me, I would have been making tracks going home to my wife. But my desire to be touched, and to feel again, held me in place. My need to feel the softness of a woman's body against me and to become one with someone who understood that need washed over me with a desire that had long been denied. So I blocked out my voice of reasoning and threw away the key. What she was offering overruled my good senses.

"I will come in for one drink," I said, not wanting our connection to end just yet.

She took my hand, led me inside, closed and locked the door behind us. She switched on the lights and the light flooded her two-level apartment with a swirling staircase that led to her bedroom.

"I'll be right back," she said. "Make yourself comfortable.

She walked away kicking off her stiletto heels along the way. I watched the way her ass jiggled beneath her dress. She entered the large kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine and two crystal goblets. I slid off my jacket and laid it across her red plush sofa. "Have a seat," she said as she sat down on the sofa and made herself comfortable.

She handed me the wine bottle to open as she held our goblets for me to pour the wine. I sat the bottle aside after filling our goblets halfway. She handed over my glass and I took a sip of the fruity wine. She lifted her dress and pulled her feet beneath her, which revealed more of her bare legs for my perusal.

"Tell me, Ronan Michaels, do you want to make love to me?"

Damn. She's not beating around the bush.

My eyes widened at her directness, and blood rushed straight to my cock. I tilted the contents of my wine and swallowed in one gulp before answering, "Yes."

She stood and lifted her shimmering dress over her head. She shook her head as her bouncy curls settled against her shoulders. My eyes took in the black lacy bra and matching thong that encased her body. My cock sprung hard and uncomfortable against my slacks. I tugged my pant leg down trying to make room for my growing hardness.

"Do you like what you see, Ronan?" she asked eyeing my pleasurable discomfort with sexy amusement radiating from her eyes.

"You know I do, Misty. You are a very sexy lady," I said standing to face the object of my desire. I towered over her and looked into her beautiful face.

Once I embarked upon this journey, there would be no turning back. This was one ride I never thought I would take in all the years of my marriage, but there was something about Misty Crewe that drove me to test the waters, to test the theory of the grass being greener on the other side.

Lord knows, my grass at home is full of weeds.

Thoughts warred in my soul before my craving to taste her tempting lips won out. Now I would see if her lips tasted as sweet as they looked. My head dipped to partake of her flavor. Her mouth opened readily beneath mine to receive my tongue. Our tongues dueled and parlayed against each other.

My question was finally answered. Her mouth was sweet as brown sugar, and her lips were soft and pliable beneath my own. Just. Like. Ruby.

She moaned against my mouth.

I pulled her soft, curvy body closer to my hard body.

"The bedroom is up the stairs to the right," she muttered against my lips before breaking off the kiss.

She took my hand and led me up the apartment's spiral staircase. I got a full view of her plump apple bottom that jiggled as she walked up each step. My hand reached out on its own volition to grab a handful of her moon shaped ass and squeezed before entering her bedroom. She looked back at me with a tempting smile before she left my side for a moment and switched on a dimly lit lamp to set off an intimate setting.

She sat on the end of her bed and crooked her finger at me to come forward. I walked towards her as if I was in a trance. Our lust for each other matched in proportions. I began to strip off my clothes as I made my way across the room towards her.

I quickly kicked off my shoes to strip off my slacks and silk boxer shorts to leave in a pile on the bedroom floor. By the time I arrived to the bed, I was as naked as the day I was born. I bent before her like Adam and she was my tempting Eve. I pulled her to me as my nose buried itself in her voluptuous cleavage to inhale her sweet and tangy scent.

I bit into the softness of one breast before unsnapping the front closure of her bra and tossing it aside. She threw her head back to reveal the vulnerable side of her neck. I leaned over to pepper soft kisses against the side of her neck before finding my way to her sweet lips once again.

Our tongues tangled and intertwined once again, tasting of the sweet and fruity wine we drank earlier. My hands found their way down to her flat stomach and down even further as I slid my hand beneath her black thong. My finger found her nub, which was already saturated with her sweet love juices. I rubbed my finger back and forth as she cried out her satisfaction from my manipulation.

My hand skimmed off her thong and threw it aside before I got my first view of her plump love nest. At this point, I was too far gone to turn back. My mouth watered from the sight of her neatly trimmed snatch that was trimmed like a landing strip. I immediately went down on my knees as if I was getting ready to worship. I spread her legs further apart before draping her succulent thighs over the wide expanse of my shoulders to get my first taste of her sweetness.

Oh, how I missed the taste of pussy, I thought as her love juices washed over my tongue like aphrodisiac from the gods. My long tongue entered her sweet cove to scoop more nectar into my mouth and washed down my throat giving me the utmost satisfaction as well as a natural high.

Misty moaned and undulated her hips against my mouth and tongue as I continued to love her orally. Her moans intensified as she came in my mouth with a gush. I swallowed down all of her sweetness wasting not one drop. My cock had surpassed being hard as granite by this point and needed assuaging in a bad way.

"Let me take care of you," Misty slurred as if she was drunk off my good oral loving. Her eyes were narrowed to half slits as her long eyelashes helped hide them.

The great throbbing of my shaft demanded that I comply. "Damn, you're hot as hell," I muttered through tightly clenched jaws.

I stood and got onto the bed as she slid off the bed and onto her knees and pleasured me in the same way that I had just pleasured her. She took all of my nine inches into her hot mouth as she swirled her hot tongue up and down its velvety length. She licked her hot tongue from root to tip, allowing spit to coat my dick. Then, she repeated the action as I shuttered inwardly.

I leaned back on my elbows and watched the sight of her head bobbing up and down as she sucked me into her hot cavity. I moaned a deep guttural moan when her throat opened up and she deep throated me before letting my dick plop from her mouth.

There was a string of pre-cum that attached itself from my hardened cock to her plump, slick lips. Semen dripped from the head and dripped down the side of my hardness. Her pink tongue licked it clean before she climbed onto the bed and settled her entrance at the tip of my throbbing cock.

"Wait," I said as my head became clear for a second. "I didn't bring protection," my voice trailed away with meaning.

She stood without a word and came back with an unopened box of condoms. She retrieved one from the box and tore it open to roll snugly onto my hardness. I relaxed on the bed as Misty rose above me with her voluptuous breast dangling in my face.

I took one perky nipple into my mouth as she slid her heat down onto my hardness. She began to grind and roll her hips against me in a slow grind. I grasped her hips in my big hands and pumped into her in earnest as pleasure sensations rocketed through me, causing my throbbing dick to feel the best pleasure it had received in a long time.

I shut my eyes and pushed all thoughts of Ruby and the betrayal I was committing against our marriage to the furthest recesses of my mind as Misty and I made love. Our sweat slicked bodies slapped against each other as we reached for the stars and moon towards a satisfaction that would take us to through the universe and back again with orgasmic delight.

"Damn," I gritted between my teeth as I felt an orgasm build towards epic proportions.

"Ronan, I'm cumming!" Misty cried out as she rode my dick into revelation, cowgirl style.

Her wet pussy continuously slammed down on my cock. I grunted with each upward thrust into her hot walls. Misty's eyes popped open to look into my silver gaze.

With unbridled passion exuding between us in that moment, I knew I was in imminent danger of this sexy ass woman. Misty Crewe's had undeniably gotten in my blood in an instant of lost reasoning.

I gave into the moment and came with intensity, filling the condom with so much sperm that I wondered if it would hold it all. Misty's body fell against my own, and I cradled her into my arms as we lie there thoroughly satisfied but depleted.

I don't know when I drifted off to sleep, but I woke to realize it was three thirty in the morning. I was supposed to be home hours ago. I rolled Misty's still sleeping form from my body and jumped from the bed in a panic.

"Don't leave, Ronan," Misty pleaded sitting up on the bed as she rubbed sleep from her eyes.

I looked at Misty as I hurriedly put on my clothes. "I have to go home, Misty. I can't stay here. It wouldn't be right," I added.

Hell, I'm a married man. None of it is right.

I gathered my keys and stuck my feet into my shoes. "There's no need for you to get up," I said to Misty before she could move to see me to the door. "I'll be sure to lock up behind me on my way out."

I had to put space between us, so I could clear my head.

"I will see you at the office," Misty called out to my back.

I didn't answer her as I trotted down the spiral staircase and out the door with hopes that Ruby would still be sound asleep when I got home.

Chapter 18

Ronan

I let myself into our quiet home. The house was dark as I quickly punched in the code to diffuse the alarm. I reset it and tiptoed up the stairs to our bedroom. It was almost four in the morning. I knew the kids would be sound asleep. I just hoped Ruby wasn't up waiting for me. I had rushed out of Misty's apartment so fast, I didn't even take the time to wash the remnants of our sexual interlude from my body.

Even though I'd picked up a bad addiction to Misty Crewe, I still loved my wife. Ruby could never find out about what I did. I silently crept up the stairs and into my bedroom like a thief in the night. When I opened the bedroom door, I was shocked to my very core to find Ruby sitting in the middle of our bed with a baby blue see through negligee on. Her hair was tousled and laid against her shoulders as her eyes met my own. I could tell from the sluggish look in her eyes, that she hadn't long awaken.

"I got up a little while ago and have been waiting for you, Ronan. You guys must've really been partying tonight," she said with an unreadable tone to her voice.

I didn't know what to think about her appearance. She looked alive, more like her old self, and that unsettled me in some way.

"Yeah, you know how they can get sometimes." I left it at that. "I didn't expect to find you still awake though," I said not knowing what else to say.

Guilt coursed through me as I looked at my beautiful wife. I had just left the bed of my new lover, only to come home to my wife who I had promised my heart and body to for the rest of my life. How was I ever going to look Ruby in the eyes again without guilt?

The smell of Misty's perfume and sex overwhelmed my senses still. I could still taste her pussy juices on my lips and on my tongue, when Ruby's soft eyes assessed me.

"Did you enjoy the rest of the masquerade ball, Ronan? What were you guys doing so late?" she asked.

I felt like she could see through me. My heart raced against my chest as I stood frozen in the one spot I was standing. I forced my feet to move forward into the bedroom and closed the door behind me.

"Yes, I enjoyed it. I just hate that you didn't feel well enough to stay. You would have enjoyed yourself," I truthfully admitted.

And if you had stayed, she would've saved me from myself, I rationalized internally.

I walked towards the bathroom.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Ruby. Let me take a quick shower and get ready for bed," I told her before closing the bathroom door behind me. I breathed deeply and looked into the mirror. I looked the same on the outside, but I had changed on the inside all in one night's time, or maybe not. The change on the inside of me had been coming on gradually; I just wasn't ready to admit it.

I stripped off my clothes and grabbed a trash bag from under the bathroom sink to stuff them in. I pushed the bag with the clothes far under the sink so I could have them laundered myself. Misty's scent would undoubtedly be mixed with mine on the worn clothes.

I stepped into the shower and washed vigorously to remove the treachery from my body. I washed and washed until the water grew chilled...still I let the cool water run over my body to punish me for my actions. I finally shut off the water and stepped from the shower to dry off before slipping on a pair of pajama bottoms. I walked over to the sink and spread a liberal amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush before brushing away the taste of Misty from my mouth and rinsing my mouth out with some Listerine.

I switched off the light in the bathroom and reentered the bedroom. I was utterly confused to find Ruby lying promiscuously on the bed with an invitation in her eyes.

"I know it's been a while Ronan and I am sorry. Will you make love to me?" she asked, stretching out her arms for me to walk into.

I breathed deeply and exhaled before walking over to the bed to lie beside my wife. I took her into my arms and kissed her softly on the lips. I couldn't help but remember the feel of Misty's soft supple lips against my own, as I kissed Ruby. I couldn't help but remember how Misty's soft and curvy, young body felt in my arms.

It was Misty's face I saw when I closed my eyes and slowly peeled Ruby's negligee from her body. I pretended it was Misty I was making love to all over again. My cock stretched forth with the desire. I made quick work of getting out of my pajama bottoms before hovering over my wife's body to slip inside her snug wetness.

I dipped inside and stirred her sweet love juices to a frothy concoction of succulent stickiness. Her body began to move slowly beneath my own as I stroked into her with long, sure strokes. My wife's body became Misty's body moving sensuously beneath me.

"Ooh, Ronan, you feel so good inside me. I've missed you so much," my wife moaned beneath my plunging onslaught on her body.

My body stiffened momentarily from the sound of her voice bringing me back down to earth, back to my sweet Ruby. My strokes increased as Ruby moaned beneath me. Her bare walls engulfed me with untold feelings of pleasure. Being with my sweet Ruby was being at home. I strived to bring her pleasure as I warred with my feelings throughout our sexual act.

Ruby wailed into the early morning of a new dawn as she finally came beneath me. Lacking the stamina I had before, I came inside her. I eased off of her to lie back onto my pillow. I could feel Ruby watching me. I was in no mood for cuddling or pillow talk.

I loved my wife and I loved the way her body felt, but her affection had come too little too late. Misty had gotten on the inside, and it would take more than a night with Ruby to get her out my system.

"Ronan, you don't want to hold me?" asked Ruby in a soft voice.

I looked at my wife briefly as she stared at me with a question in her eyes. Exhaustion overcame me in the blink of an eye. I could no longer look at her comfortably without thinking of my unfaithfulness. So I did the only thing I could think of to save face. I reached toward my bedside lamp and plunged the room into darkness, before I finally spoke.

"I need to grab a couple hours of sleep before I have to get up for work," I told her before turning my back on her and falling into an exhausted sleep. Just before I lost consciousness, I silently berated myself for letting any woman come before my sweet Ruby.

Chapter 19

Ruby

I awoke with the sun peeping through the draperies. I turned over and noticed that Ronan was still fast asleep. I was glad to hear his light snore, because I could take a refreshing shower to help invigorate me from the night before. After showering, I went downstairs and prepared breakfast while reflecting on last night. Not only had Ronan come home late, our long awaited intimacy was everything but what I thought it would be. We were like two strangers in the same bed fulfilling our bodily needs but disconnected in spirit. I hoped I didn't wait too long to show him affection, as the wanton way he looked at his secretary last night flooded my mind with thoughts.

Just as I was putting a pan of fresh-cut biscuits in the oven, Ronan walked in the kitchen fully dressed in his business attire. I had the rest of his breakfast waiting on the table along with a steaming mug of his morning coffee.

"Good morning," he said in greeting as he sat down at the table. "Will our kids be home when I get home this evening?" he asked in a brusque tone.

"Yes, the kids will be here," I said looking at him in confusion.

Ronan immediately looked away from me and started eating his breakfast. He usually waited for me to join him, but he ate as quickly as possible so he was almost finished by the time I brought my plate over to the table to sit down beside him. I bent my head to bless my food before I began to eat.

"What time did you say the ball ended?" I asked. Turner Enterprises always ended their parties early, and especially any event that was on a weeknight.

Ronan kept his head down focused on his food as he said, "It was pretty late."

"The program said it was supposed to last until eleven o'clock," I said calling him on the discrepancy in times.

"You know these functions can last longer than they say," he said taking a sip from his coffee mug.

"An extra four hours is a long time for an event to run late, Ronan," I said as I watched him try to avoid my question.

"Yeah, I know but we really had a good time," he said. "And last night or should I say early this morning with you was wonderful," he added with a smile.

"Yeah, it was nice to be with you, Ronan." I dared not to say it was nice to make love again, because what we made last night was everything but that.

"Well, I guess I'll get going," he said, pushing back from the table.

"Ronan." I reached out and touched his hand. "We need to get back close like we use to be. I realize I've been pushing you away and I'm truly sorry," I said with a voice filled with remorse. I was being open about my rejection. I was also giving Ronan a pass for coming home late by accepting some of the responsibility for his actions.

"I'm sorry, too," he said pushing his chair away from the table. "I really don't have the time to talk right now though. We'll have to table this discussion for some other time. I need to get to the office," he said.

I could see the nervous look in Ronan's eyes as I stared at him. He picked up his briefcase and walked towards the door.

"I don't even get a kiss, Ronan?"

"Like I just said, I really need to get to the office, Ruby."

"Will you be home for dinner tonight?" I asked.

"I should be," he said. "But if anything comes up, I will be sure to let you know," he added before walking out the door.

Chapter 20

Ronan

The hurt look that appeared on Ruby's face as I was leaving home this morning was still on my mind after lunchtime. I tried not to let her reaction bother me. She had hurt me by pushing me away. Didn't she deserve what she dished out? At least that was my rationale as I contemplated the state my marriage was in. How could a marriage that was thriving and so full of love go downhill so quickly?

The depth of love I felt for Ruby had never come into question, until now. The faithfulness I had for our marriage had never been tested until she disregarded me and my needs. My unfaithfulness rested on Ruby's shoulder's, at least that's what I told myself. I kept telling myself that she was the cause of it all.

I sat in front of the computer glancing at the figures and graphs on the screen. My mind was so full of torrid thoughts of the past hours trying to wrap my head around what I had done. Even the guilt that ate at me couldn't make me regret the wonderful things Misty made me feel.

I had to finish this report and get it to the engineering team. I closed off my thoughts and worked on the report diligently for next two hours before I was satisfied with the results. I closed out the program and saved my work on a backup file before printing the report out and placing it in a folder.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Come in," I called out.

Misty stepped through the door looking fresh and beautiful as ever in a black pencil skirt and a button down peasant blouse that was modest but still showed off her ample bosom.

She walked through the door closing it behind her as her smile seemed to widen at the sight of me. "How are you this morning?"

"I am well," I said abruptly without returning her smile. "Are those papers for me?" I asked her, glancing briefly at her and then turning away. It was as if I looked at her too long, I'd be drawn into her amazing force field.

She made me lose all of my senses. Her hold on me couldn't be explained, even if I tried. But I wanted and needed to remain in control at work, of all places. If there was one thing my team knew about me, it was that I was a no nonsense type of guy. The days of me laughing and fraternizing with the different ladies on the job had long since been over. Ever since I said "I do" to Ruby, there were no rumors floating around about who Ronan Michaels was taking to bed and I planned to keep it that way.

I looked at her again when she didn't respond. Her bright smile had been replaced by a small frown. The light in her pretty brown eyes had suddenly dimmed.

"I... I need for you to sign these papers," she said holding them up for me to see the stack of papers in her hand. "They need to be signed and faxed by noon," she added as she walked to my desk to lay them out in front of me.

I picked up my pen and scanned the papers. Then, I quickly scribbled my signature. "Thanks," I said, handing the papers back to her.

"Do you need me for anything else, sir?" she asked in a professional voice but her eyes held a hurtful look.

I was being dismissive to Misty but the havoc she was causing on my insides had my loins tightening in need just from the sight of her. If I closed my eyes long enough, I could imagine the taste of her sweet nectar on my tongue or inhale the scent of her cunt on my fingertips. I raked my hand down my face to clear my vision. I breathed in deeply.

Misty had turned and had her hand on the door knob about to leave.

"Wait, Misty," I said standing up from my desk and coming around to walk towards her. "You asked me if there's anything else I needed. You didn't wait for my answer."

She bit her bottom lip looking unsure as to what I wanted from her as I strolled toward her.

"Damn it, Misty," I growled out. "I can't stop thinking about you. What have you done to me?"

"I can't stop thinking about you either," she admitted. "I couldn't go back to sleep this morning when you left. I held the pillow you slept on because it had your scent. I pretended you were still there with me."

"Oh, baby," I said pulling her in my arms.

My mouth swept downwards to capture hers beneath my own. My tongue stroked the minty sweetness of hers. My hand grasped her waist and pulled her closer to feel the burgeoning hardness of my arousal. "Tell me, baby, what is a man like me to do with you around tempting the hell out of him all day?" I asked against her dew kissed lips.

"Make love to me, Ronan," she peered up at me through her long lashes and lust dazed eyes.

I walked to my door and locked it. I pulled her towards my big mahogany desk and swept papers off not caring where they landed. I heard the pictures of my family hit the floor with a thud. It did nothing to deter me in my pursuit of making love to Misty on my desk.

My hands made quick work of yanking her tight skirt up above her hips, revealing her voluptuous hips along with her barely there bikini panties. She unbuttoned her shirt and slung it aside while I contended with pulling down my slacks and boxer shorts.

I sat her moon-shaped ass on the edge of the desk and plunged my cock into her wetness. I went in raw and it felt so good that my eyes rolled back in their sockets from the deliciousness of it all. I grasped her around her waist and rammed into her again and again as I lost all control of the day and time and even where I was momentarily.

It didn't matter to me that I was breaking every damn rule in the book concerning company policy. Misty had a way of making me lose my fucking mind when it came to her. The feel of being enclosed so deeply in her tight snatch had my mouth watering and me whispering all kinds of lusty things into her ear, mostly about what I was going to do to her if she came to work wearing another skirt like the one she had on.

Misty gave as well as she got as she intertwined her long legs around my trim waist. She propelled her body to accommodate my every stroke. She moaned loudly in the morning light as we raced toward an orgasm of splendorous delight.

My lips meshed with hers to capture her many lustful moans into my mouth as we came together. Our love juices ran out and pooled onto my office desktop as our bodies trembled with pleasure. We looked into each other eyes and I knew from that moment on I was in danger of losing not only my mind and heart to Misty, but everything that I once held dear.
Chapter 21

Ruby

A clean bill of health. That was the news I received from my doctor this morning. I was so happy that I was dancing with joy as I folded fluffy cotton towels that I'd just taken from the dryer. I could finally be there for my husband in every way, without fear of the future. Boy, did I have some ideas in mind for tonight.

I put away the rest of the clothes and went to start dinner. The kids were in their rooms silent; they didn't keep up as much fuss as they used to. Maybe they sensed something was amiss between Ronan and me. Our children were observant and picked up on the tiniest of details. They were much smarter when it came to their parents than we gave them credit for. If it wasn't for my children, I don't know if I would've made it this far.

I put the finishing touches on our dinner, while swallowing back the hot tears that filled my eyes. I was both overjoyed with my clean bill of health and release from treatment and saddened by where my marriage had gone because of my secret. I thought about the night of the masquerade ball, when he didn't come home until the wee hours of the next morning. Ronan's clothes from that night had mysteriously disappeared, when I went looking for them to put in the cleaners.

When I mentioned the party to Shauntay at the market a week after the ball, she told me it had ended promptly at eleven that night, since the next day was a workday for Turner Enterprises. A confrontation with Ronan was brewing, but given my own dirt, I decided to just let it go and start anew.

It was a huge pill to swallow, but I forced myself to hit the reset button. I wanted to rebuild our marriage and close the gap that was widening between us. Ronan hadn't tried to touch me in an intimate way, since he turned his back on me that night. His mind had been elsewhere and I didn't know if I really wanted to know where.

I blinked the tears away as I heard the garage doors open and Ronan enter the house. I heard him walking up the stairs. I could remember not too long ago when he would have called out to me and the kids the minute he walked through the door. But now, he just creeped in and went straight into his home office or locked himself in the den.

I peeked in the oven at my baking bread and saw it had browned nicely. I donned my oven mitts and removed the piping hot bread from the oven and set it aside to cool. I looked into my pot to check on my steaming vegetables before switching off the stove to go upstairs.

I heard the shower running in the bathroom. I looked over at Ronan's cell phone that was laying on the nightstand on his side of the bed. I walked over to it and reached my hand towards it to pick it up. The shower shut off in that instant and I jerked my hand back as if I had been burned.

When did I stoop to this level? I silently asked myself, disgusted with my own actions of snooping through my husband's phone. I sped around to my side of the bed and waited on Ronan to come out.

He soon walked into the room with a towel hanging low on his hips. His thick and wavy chestnut hair was slick from his shower. He looked at me in surprise. Then, his silver gaze radiated with an unreadable look as if secrets lurked beneath their depths.

"Hi," he said with a distant look in his eyes. If I were a glass, he would be looking straight through me.

A faint red scratch mark was on his chiseled chest. Where did it come from? My eyes searched his face as a lump began to build in my throat. I swallowed before I could even attempt to speak.

"Ho-how was your day Ronan?"

"It was like any other day in the office," he replied dismissively.

I sucked in my breath from the pain that twisted inside my heart. "Did you hurt yourself?" I finally found the strength and asked him while keeping my hurt feelings at bay.

He stopped putting on his clothes to look at me strangely. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Your chest," I said pointing. "It has a scratch on it. It's faint, but I can see it clearly." My voice sounded accusing, but I couldn't help it as I eyed him with suspicion.

He looked into my eyes and then quickly looked away. "I don't know."

"So, you don't know how you got scratched?"

"That's what I said, Ruby." He hurriedly pulled a tee-shirt over his head hiding the scratch from my sight. "Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, it's ready," I replied standing up from the bed. "I'll go put it on the table," I added heading out the door.

"Good," he said to my back. "I feel like I could eat a horse."

I fumed inside. He didn't even ask how my day was or how I was feeling. He didn't inquire about his children whom he was spending less and less time with. All he gave a shit about was his damn dinner.

I stopped at Yasmine's room and instructed her to wash up for dinner before coming downstairs. I also stopped off at Benedict's messy room and instructed him to do the same, before continuing my way down the stairs to enter the kitchen.

I set the table in no time. The food was hot and steaming, waiting for my family on the table by the time all three entered the kitchen at once.

"Daddy, I am glad you're home. I miss having dinner together," said Yasmine taking her seat at the table.

"Me too," little Benedict added.

"I'm sorry I've been missing so many dinners with you two," he said halfheartedly as if he was only trying to pacify them. "But you need to understand that it takes hard work to afford the luxuries you have."

My head tilted to the side as he talked about the luxuries he was bestowing on our children. He'd never talked to them like that before. Before, what was his was ours, but now he's doing us a fucking favor?

I also noticed he didn't include me in his apology. That's because what he was offering was a lame, half-assed excuse for not being home. The fortune his grandmother left him was big enough to run a small country, so just who did he think he was fooling?

I sat down at the table and lost my appetite for the meal I so lovingly prepared for my family. The reset button for us was getting further and further from my reach.

Then, I thought about how I pushed Ronan away for almost two months. I wasn't completely innocent in the direction that our marriage was heading. I set aside my doubts about Ronan and thought about doing something that could bring us closer together.

"Ronan, I've been thinking that we should take a family trip soon. You know, get away from the whole scene here and refresh our minds, hearts, and our bodies," I said suggestively. "We can take the children to Disney World, or something, and then on a separate trip, you and I can get a cabin for a weekend getaway in Tennessee," I said, imagining being renewed again with my husband. I could see us cuddled up in a cabin making love like our lives depended on it.

"I won't be able to take time off for a trip, Ruby. There are too many projects coming up at the office that I have to be an integral part of. It is imperative that I not miss time at work right now," he said skipping our usual dinner prayer and taking a bite out of the roasted chicken.

"Daddy are you still going to take Benedict and me to Jungle Island?" Yasmine asked with a hopeful expression on her face.

"I don't know," he said in an exasperated voice. "Is it too much to ask to let me enjoy my meal in peace without a whole lot of damn questions?" he bellowed out.

"Ronan!" I said absolutely shocked by his behavior towards our children. He had never been as short tempered with them as he was then. In the not so distant past, he'd always have long, encouraging conversations with them, as well. "What has gotten in to you?" I asked as Yasmine burst into tears.

She stood from the table with tears streaming down her little face and ran up the stairs to her room. Her bedroom door slammed behind her.

"May I be excused, Mama?" Benedict asked me with a fearful look towards his father. His eyes began to well up with unshed tears.

"Yes, baby. For this time only, you can carry your plate up to your room and finish it. I will bring your glass of milk up for you in a moment," I said rising from the table. I glared angrily at my husband.

His head was bent into his plate like he didn't have a care in the world. He continued to shove food into his mouth like a ravenous animal. I shook my head at his behavior.

"What the hell has gotten into you, Ronan?"

"I just asked if I could eat my dinner in peace. Now, can I...please?" he said nastily.

"Fine!" I tossed my dinner in the trash and threw the plate in the sink. I followed Benedict's path upstairs and went to comfort our daughter as best I could.

Ronan was left alone, just like I assumed he wanted to be. Maybe with us all out the kitchen, he could rejoice in his peace and quiet without any interruptions from his wife and kids.
Chapter 22

Ruby

I wanted to figure out what I could do to make us whole again. I figured part of Ronan's frustration stemmed from lack of intimacy when I was going through my treatments. Now that I could, I wanted to be there for him in every way that he desired.

But first, I had to check his disrespect.

Intimacy or no intimacy, there was no way he could keep talking to me, and now my kids, any kind of way.

When I walked out the shower later that evening, I saw Ronan adjusting his jacket. He was just about to walk out of our bedroom door, fully dressed in a Lindon V-neck tee and a pair of slim fit jeans.

"Where are you going at this late hour, Ronan? Don't you think we need to talk about what happened at dinner?" I asked, surprised that he was up and dressed to go out on a work night. "And were you going to just leave without telling me?"

"What's this twenty questions?" he said, seeming aggravated when he turned around and looked me up and down.

I had a beige towel wrapped around my head with a few loose curls hanging and another loosely fitted beige towel wrapped my body. Before I left the bathroom, I'd massaged sweet smelling body oils into my caramel colored skin, so my hue was glistening in the aftermath.

"Listen, I'm an adult and the man of this house. I can get dressed and leave any time I please," he said when his eyes left my body and traveled up to meet my eyes.

"I know you are not going to play the 'I'm grown' card on me. How old are you now, Ronan? I know you are indeed an adult, but you are still my husband and I deserve to have my question answered. Where are you about to go?"

"It's Thursday night and I'm not about to sit around here and watch you sleep all night. I'm going to the bar for a couple of beers and to watch the game with the fellas, Ruby."

"A bar is no place for you to be, when you have to get up and go to work in the morning," I said. "And not to mention it's no place for you to be, when you have a wife and kids at home."

"You didn't have a problem with it a few weeks ago."

"Ronan, I want you to stay home with me tonight. We need to talk."

"I won't be out too late," he said brushing what I said off.

"It's already too fucking late to leave home, Ronan," I said making a note that it was past ten p.m. already.

"I'm just going to have a couple of drinks and I'll be right back," he said waving my suspicions away.

"I don't know what the hell you are doing or who you're doing it with, but this is getting way out of order!" I said, as frustration took over me. I yanked my head wrap off and walked over to my vanity and started combing through my hair. In the mirror, I could see Ronan's hand go flying into the air gesturing towards me.

"It's only been one thing out of order in this house, Ruby."

His insult hit me hard. I put my comb down and stalked over to stand in front of him. I inhaled his manly scent as I placed a hand on his chest. I wanted to scream at him, but I didn't.

"Stay home tonight, Ronan, where you belong," I said, my hands roaming over the expanse of his chest and to his wide chin. "We can talk tomorrow, but tonight let's just be one," I told him.

"So you finally remembered that you have a husband, a husband who has needs that have gone unfulfilled? I've been going out for the past two months and you haven't even noticed I was missing, Ruby. Now that you want to reconnect, I'm supposed to do what? Act as if the last two months haven't happened? What makes tonight any different than the many other nights you rejected me?" Ronan asked a barrage of questions, each hitting me in the gut harder than the last.

"Ronan, I've just not been feeling like my usual self. You have to trust me when I say that I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. I know I've turned you away a lot, but now I need you to trust what we have. Trust that I love you and try to remember the times our love ran deep, because it still does and we need each other, baby," I said softly, moving my hands across his chest to his broad shoulders before reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Kiss me, Ronan."

Ronan took a deep breath, but he didn't budge. He just stared at me with an icy glare before saying, "Since you feel the need to be emotionally and physically available to me tonight, I guess you think I'm supposed to jump right back on the saddle? It doesn't work that way, Ruby, no." He seized both of my hands that had been around his neck and held them away from him.

"Stay home, Ronan!" I said, afraid that what he was leaving home for would put the nail in our marital coffin. The most dreaded feeling that he was pushing me away so that he could go be with another woman settled in my spirit. "What you are doing will ruin us," I said with double meaning.

"I guess we're even," Ronan shot back.

"What do you mean by that, Ronan? I cook you breakfast, lunch, and dinner and I am here every night with you."

"I can't argue with that, Ruby. Your body is definitely here, but your mind is light years away. And let's face it, your heart hasn't been in it. Since I came back from the annual retreat, you've been sneaking around hiding things from me."

Ronan crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway waiting for me to respond. I thought about all the nights I urged him to go to happy hour with friends after work. I suggested he go to the bar, because it gave him something else to occupy his mind instead of him trying to make love to me. I couldn't give him intimacy because of my condition. However, by hearing his thoughts, I knew that he'd taken my suggestion the wrong way.

"Ronan, I need you to know that you are the center of my world. I never would push you away intentionally," I said as I slipped an arm around his waist and laid my head against his chest. "When I was suggesting that you go to a bar, I only wanted you to go out because I wasn't feeling my best. You had so much energy and wanted me to be with you in ways that I couldn't at the time with my irregular periods."

I listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat as my head continued to rest against his chest. I was glad that he didn't resist me this time. I closed my eyes and took a brief moment to relish in my husband's intoxicating essence. I finally lifted my head from his chest and looked into his eyes, while my hand rested against his warm chest.

For the first time his expression softened. He touched my hand against his chest and asked, "What's going on with you Ruby? I feel like something has gone terribly wrong between us and I'm out in the dark. And it's more than irregular periods. I need to know what it is."

"It's nothing you should worry about, Ronan. Let's just live in the moment," I begged.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" I asked as I removed my hand from his chest and walked over to the dresser and chose a maroon colored gown to wear.

Ronan walked behind me and turned me to face him. He grabbed my gown and put it back on the dresser. Looking me eye to eye, he said, "You're leaving me in the dark. You're treating me like I'm not supposed to be the only man that knows every thought of your mind, every whim of your soul, and every inch of your body."

I wished Ronan really did know every thought of my mind, every whim of my soul, and every inch of my body. Then, he would know, my mind was tormented by the decision to keep my cancer diagnosis from him and that the reason I vowed to never tell him about my condition unsettled my soul 'til this very day. Most importantly, he'd know that if it hadn't been for the surgery that rendered me unable to be there for him physically, my body would be rapt with a killer disease that would have robbed me of a long life with him and our children

I looked deeply into his eyes, as tears leaked from my eyes and fell onto my cheeks. "Let's just live in the moment, Ronan. It's all we have," I said weakly.

"Ruby, what is wrong?" Ronan pleaded for the truth as he pulled me close to him. I laid my head on his chest and held onto him for dear life.

"I can't talk about it right now, Ronan."

"What do you mean you can't talk about it? This is something we have to get through. Talk to me, baby," he pleaded before kissing my tears away.

I pushed him off me as hard as I could. "I said I don't want to talk about it, Ronan!"

I could feel my head swimming as I became dizzy. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed with my hands covering my face. I took deep breaths to calm myself. Ronan was still standing by the dresser where I'd left him in a state of confusion.

"I don't know how to reach you, Ruby. I've done all I know to do," he said defeated. He walked toward the door again, and this time I didn't put up a fight.

"Ronan?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, but don't wait up for me," he said as he closed our bedroom door behind him.

I fell back onto the bed and allowed every single tear to flow. I cried because of my deception. I cried because I had been diagnosed with cancer. But most of all, I cried because the way my husband looked at me told me I no longer was the center of his world. Either the alcohol at the bar, or even worse a woman, had replaced me. I was sure of it.
Chapter 23

Ruby

I did everything I could think of to clear my mind that night, but nothing worked. I had so many doubts running through my mind, when I turned off the TV at about one a.m. I put the book I was reading on the nightstand and kept wondering what the Ronan was doing and who he was doing it with.

"I should just go to sleep," I spoke to the lonely room. "No, I should go and see for myself what he's doing."

Knowing would settle my mind and at least then I would be aware of what I was dealing with. My grandmother always said not to go looking for anything I didn't want to find, but I had to know what my husband was doing. Not knowing was killing me.

I got up and slid into a pair of jeans and a black sweater. I then slipped into my black running shoes. Standing in the mirror looking like I was about to go on some type of top-secret Rambo mission, I asked myself, "Do you really want to do this?"

Snooping around behind Ronan could provide me with details I wasn't ready to handle. I had to be sure I was prepared for whatever I would find out.

Just as soon as that thought crossed my mind, I remembered the deep love Ronan and I shared for so many years. There had to be a reasonable explanation for him not being at home. Surely, he was being true to me. We were going through a touchy time, but I was confident he would never be unfaithful. We loved each other too long, too deeply, too much. Thinking about our sweet love made me want to go out and find my man even more. What if he was sinking into alcoholism and I wasn't even trying to be by his side? With that question in mind, I walked into Yasmine's room and shook her awake.

"Put your jacket on, sweetie. We're about to go for a ride," I told her.

"It's too early to get ready for school. It's still dark outside. Where are we going, mommy?" Yasmine asked.

"Mommy has to make a run and your dad isn't here, so I'm taking you with me," I said as I tossed a light jacket to her.

With her eyes still closed, Yasmine clumsily stood up and stuck her hands inside the arms of her jacket.

I then went into Benedict's room and put his jacket on and picked him up. Yasmine was close on my heels as I walked down the steps and into the living room. I grabbed my purse off the living room sofa and headed to the car.

I felt a dull ache in my pelvis as I carried Benedict down the porch stairs. The effects of lifting my heavy son after my surgery was still in play three months later, but I pressed forward. I was determined to put my mind to rest about Ronan being with another woman, and to save him from drinking himself under a table, if he needed me.

Once we were all in the car and seat belts on, I turned on the tracker app on my phone. We both installed the apps years ago for emergencies. I never imagined there would come a time I would be out in the middle of the night searching for him; however, he gave me no choice.

I tried calling his phone a few hours after he left home and it had gone to voicemail every time. With a mixture of worry that he may have had an accident while driving drunk and that he was avoiding me for another woman, I pressed the search key on my phone. When the location of his phone popped up, I pressed another button to enter that address into my GPS system.

It took me thirty minutes to pull up to an apartment complex in Cutler Bay, which was clear on the other side of town. Ronan's car was backed into a parking space near the entrance of the complex, as if the space belonged exclusively to him. There was no mistaking that it was his car. He had the word "CLASSIC" engraved in gold on his front plate.

Upon seeing his car, I parked a few spaces away and turned off my engine. I immediately shut off the lights and prepared to sit and wait to see which of these apartments Ronan would come out of.

Yasmine unlocked her seatbelt and asked, "Mommy, where are we?"

"Yassi, try to get some sleep. You have to go to school in the morning," I said avoiding her question.

"In the car, Mommy? Why are we sleeping in the car?" she asked with a whine.

"Just lay down on the seat and go to sleep!" I said a little harsher than I wanted to. The last thing I wanted to do was punish my children for what had become a mess of a marriage. They didn't deserve that, and for all intents and purposes it was madness that we were out in the middle of the night in some strange apartment complex's parking lot.

"Here, give me a hug," I said to my darling baby girl who had every right to be full of questions. I hugged her and kissed her cheeks. She stayed up for a while, but eventually laid down on the seat and drifted off to sleep.

We sat out there for forty-one minutes, to be exact, before one apartment's front lights came on. Twenty two minutes later, the apartment door opened and Ronan emerged hustling toward his car.

I reached for my door handle, about to jump out and confront him, when the same apartment door opened again. This time, the silhouette of a petite woman with long hair stepped out into the night. I heard her call out his name. I rolled the window down a few inches and heard her say, "Ronan. Baby, you forgot your wallet."

Ronan walked back over to her door and took the wallet from her hand. "Thanks," he said kindly.

He stood and watched the woman for a few more seconds before she said, "You know, I could've brought it to work later today, but I didn't want you to leave without it, in case you get stopped by the police or something."

An onslaught of realizations hit me all at once. The woman talking to Ronan was Misty Crewe, his temporary secretary. One day about a month ago, I went to his office to have lunch with him and was told that Ronan was out and they didn't know when he would return. I never told Ronan about the day I came to his office and his coworker must not have mentioned it either, because Ronan never did mention it to me.

As I was walking out that day, I asked one of the employees to introduce me to Ronan's new secretary but she was also away from her desk. I did stop by her desk and noticed a picture of her. She was the same woman I saw Ronan staring at the night of the masquerade ball. I didn't miss the look in my husband's eyes as the two stared at one another. Why didn't I put two and two together back then? Maybe I could have done something to stop this night from happening. Maybe I could have stopped my heart from doing somersaults and breaking into a zillion tiny particles.

Ever since Ronan hired Misty, he was anxious to get to the bar to hangout. He had no problem leaving me home alone when I was unable to perform my wifely duties, because he had hooked up with her.

I thought about how quickly he ditched me that night at the company party, which he said lasted until three thirty thirty in the morning. Then, I thought about the way Misty was dressed that night with her breasts spilling out of her bodice. My husband's whole demeanor changed when she looked in his direction. The whole scene began registering in my mind, playing like a movie reel over and over again, as I sat in my car watching the moonlight shine upon my husband and his mistress.

His tall frame covered her silhouette as he peered down into her eyes in front of her apartment door. The picture of the two of them standing in their hideaway painted a picture that would forever be implanted in my mind.

"Truth be told, I don't want to leave. I wish I could stay in your warm bed every night. I really don't want to leave you," Ronan said as he took his wallet from Misty. He tapped the wallet against his other hand before placing it into his back pocket. "But I have to go," he said reluctantly.

All my senses were on alert. I attempted to hear every word he said to her. Words that cut me like a freshly sharpened knife. I might as well had been a fresh delivery of meat to a slaughter house when he leaned down and kissed her neck, after telling her he was only going home for our children, discarding me as if I was yesterday's news.

She wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Ronan pinned her against the frame of her door and kissed her with a passion I recognized as once belonging to me. I was paralyzed from my head to my feet as their midnight love reached my understanding.

The pain I had in my stomach earlier, when I carried Benedict down the steps, racked through my body tenfold when Ronan secured her in his grip and said, "I love me some Misty Crew."

Those were the last words I heard him say, before he walked back into her apartment and kicked the door closed. I was beyond numb as my hand went to the ignition to turn the key. I put the car in drive and peeled out of the parking lot without a clue of where I was about to go. I most certainly had no intention of ever returning to the place I called home only a few hours ago.
Chapter 24

Ronan

When I got my fill of Misty, it was a little after two a.m. Once again, I was going to have to sneak into my own home like I was some kind of thief in the night. I was getting tired of this deception, but I had an unexplainable pull toward Ruby and Misty. I could never see myself divorcing Ruby for Misty. But Misty, that girl had me on the other end of her dog leash. I was in way over my head in this love triangle.

When I first started seeing Misty, Ruby didn't care. But lately she had a million questions about me coming home late. I would have to think of something, because every moment I spent with Misty was worth the trouble waiting for me at home.

I pulled into our parking garage and the first thing I noticed was that Ruby's car was not in its usual space. My heart started racing as my mind considered the possible reasons her car was gone. Had some mad man forced his way into my home and abducted my wife, or even worse my entire family? Did Ruby have to take one of the kids to the hospital for an emergency? Or was she out with another man?

A slew of negative thoughts rushed my mind, and then the one thought that catapulted me back against my seat rushed to the forefront. Had she found out about Misty and left me? Every encounter I had with Misty played out my mind, as I stared blankly at my wife's empty parking space.

The way Misty made me feel, the fire she brought out of me, the sex. Oh God, the sex. Thoughts of her kiss, her touch, and the words she whispered against my ear as she rode me into oblivion ruled my mind. Every morsel of her exotic silky light brown skin colliding against my ivory skin was a sight to behold. Yet, not one thought of Misty amounted to the amount of emotion I had as I opened the door to the car and went into my home in search of Ruby.

I entered the quiet house and took the stairs two at a time. I first peeked into Yasmine and Benedict's rooms.

"Fuck!" I spit out the expletive upon seeing their empty beds. "Where could they be?" I asked no one in particular as I walked into my bedroom and realized that Ruby was gone.

I searched every inch of our four thousand square foot house for a note explaining where she was at this hour. When I didn't find anything, I took out my cell and dialed her number.

"Ruby, honey where are you?" I asked when she answered on the third ring.

"I know why you couldn't stay home," Ruby said as she wept.

"What? What do you mean, Ruby?" I could feel panic hitting me like lightning striking a tree.

"I know you've been having an affair with your temporary secretary."

I stood there rooted in the spot I was standing in. I suddenly felt too heavy to stand up straight as I racked my brain trying to figure out how she found out about my affair. My instinct was to deny every word of what she was saying.

"I tracked your car," she said, when I didn't respond. "And I saw you and her together on the doorstep of her apartment. I saw you kissing her. I heard what you said to her, that the only reason you were coming home was for the kids," she said into the receiver as she answered my unasked questions.

"Ruby, listen." My heartbeat could be heard thumping in my ears. Sweat began to slide down my temple while I thought of just one thing to say to bring my wife and kids back to me, home where they belonged.

"Don't try to deny it, Ronan! You've been fucking cheating with your temporary secretary! After all we've been through, this is what you go and do."

"I..." I paused, not sure of what to say, "Ruby, honey, you have been –"

"You accused me of cheating, which was fake. But you're cheating, and it's real. Ronan, I'm going away for a while. I need time to think about this and figure out what I'm going to do, so don't contact me."

"You can't do this, Ruby. Don't leave me," I said. "At least bring the kids back home. They don't need to be uprooted from their home in the middle of the night and shuffled around because I made a mistake. I will leave home if you want me to."

"You should've thought about the kids when you were out doing Lord knows what with Misty. Or when you were hollering at them last night at dinner, hurting their feelings, just because you were missing your girlfriend. No, we're out of there. Goodbye, Ronan," she said before the line went dead.

I called her back in a rage, but she'd turned off her cell phone. I left an angry message and ended up punching a wall, leaving a hole in it as well as leaving my knuckles bruised. The pain to my hand didn't compare on any level to the pain in my heart.

Chapter 25

Ruby

I got on the highway and started to drive, when an idea occurred to me. Ronan would come looking for me in the obvious places, so I disconnected my phone from the tracer app. I decided then and there to take the kids on a little trip like Ronan had promised he would do for them. That way, hopefully, they wouldn't have so many questions when they woke up away from home.

I had my wallet and would need to buy us all new clothes once we got there, such was the swiftness of my decision, but I would try my best to make that a fun thing. Get Benedict the new trainers he wanted and a nice outfit for Yasmine. I had money and initiative. I hadn't had cause to use the latter in a few years, but you never forget how to ride a bike, right?

The children woke up asking where their father was and why he wasn't on the trip with us. I pretended like he had gone away on a business trip.

"Why now?" Yasmine asked, when I told her where we were headed. "Why in the middle of the night?"

"I just decided on a whim," I lied. "Daddy was called away on business, and I thought 'I know, the kids would love a trip to the beach', so here we are on the road."

"What about school?" Benedict had asked. "I think I have a test tomorrow."

"School?" I tried to make it sound like an adventure. "Most kids would be happy to go on special holiday. I'll clear it with the school in the morning, don't worry," I had told them.

"Where are we going?" Yasmine inquired.

"Well," I said. "Remember when we went to Panama City Beach last year?" That got them all excited and animated. "There was Race City, Sea Dragon Pirate Cruises, Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum and all sorts of great stuff for kids we didn't get to do the first time around. Not to mention great beaches."

Yasmine exclaimed, "I want to swim with the dolphins again, Mommy!"

"Well, we'll see how good you are, now try and get some sleep, my darlings," I told them. My ploy had the desired effect on the children.

I couldn't exactly tell them the truth. That their father was probably balls deep in his secretary and that I couldn't stand the sight of him right now.

They eventually went back to sleep. I gassed up the car and prepared for the long drive. It took about nine hours to reach the hotel and I was tired. It was around 12:00 p.m. or so, when I checked us into a presidential suite. I ordered room service and went straight to sleep for a few hours, having convinced the children to watch the television in the other room. Ronan had no access to my personal banking account, so I was confident that if he did try to track me by the time he did we would be gone.

Around 3:00 p.m., we went down to the beach and I bought Yasmine and Benedict a bucket and spade each. They played away happily, while I turned on my phone and texted Ronan's number, telling him not to contact me and that my phone would be off from now on. I then took my writing pad and pen from my bag and wrote Misty Crewe a letter.

To The Woman He Loves:

I'm writing this letter with tears in my heart and a heart that is heavy as lead. I contemplated writing this letter to the other woman, to the woman who seems to have stolen my husband's heart from beneath me. So many emotions are warring through my head and heart right now. I want to hate you and lash out at you with all the hatred that is coursing through my veins like venomous poison.

Even in all this beauty around me, the sand that glitters beneath my feet and the sunlight gleaming down on me brightly from above, it's not enough to lessen the pain that fills my heart brought on by you and Ronan. I look around at the seagulls dashing to and fro as the waves flow in the distance and think I should be enjoying this moment with the love of my life.

I think of how I should be in this place kissing my husband under the crowning sunsets and frolicking in the water with our wet bodies plastered to one another like newlyweds. I think of how we can't keep our hands off of each other long enough to get back to our room to make love, to make beautiful and wonderful love, so he takes me beneath the glorious stars as he makes love to me slowly but passionately. But because of your indiscretions, I'm on this beach alone, sitting beneath this umbrella with tears staining my cheeks, knowing that you don't give a damn about the pain you have caused from your selfishness.

Ronan is my husband, yet I'm sure you feel as if I'm the intruder in this three-way relationship. I wonder how this could be possible when you're the interloper. I hate myself for all of these nagging doubts of me no longer being woman enough for my husband. I hate myself for letting my already staggering self-esteem be shot straight to hell, all because of you.

I have a question for you, many questions really, but this one will suffice for the time being. Did you ever think about me and my children when you decided to lie down with my husband?

Your actions will hurt more than me. My children are my all, just like I once thought Ronan was and I was his. There go those nagging doubts again making me wonder if anything between me and Ronan was real for all of these years.

I have given the best years of my life to this man. I made some bad choices when I kept a very important secret from him. Why I'm telling you this is beyond me, but I need to let it out. See, it was during this time that you found a weak link in our fence and you entered to destroy the sanctity of our marriage. I know he's more at fault, but you know about me. You met me at the company party and smiled in my face.

I felt that maybe if I explained this to you it would help me own up to my own part in this mess. I'm not going to linger in giving you insight into my reality, so here are the facts. My annual exam showed I had stage one squamous cell carcinoma on my right ovary. I hid this fact from my husband because of the way my parent's marriage ended when I was a young girl. I even went as far as to have surgery without him knowing. The surgery removed it all, thank God. The problems started when my body needed time to heal. I know, as surely as I am breathing, this is when you entered the picture.

The devil found his way in through my secrets and lies. I own my part in this; I should have trusted my husband. These "should haves" plague me deep in my soul. I guess I am appealing to your sense of morals to walk away from my husband. I still love him with all of my heart, but I must know that I have his heart.

If you're any kind of woman, you will allow him to go and let him recommit himself to our marriage and family without further temptation.

From a woman who still loves her husband,

Ruby Michaels

I wasn't even sure if I wanted Ronan back, but I knew I wanted their affair to end so I could make that decision. I put the letter in my bag and watched the waves come in and out while listening to my children play. The sea always gave me a sense of calm.

The sound of the distant seagulls was comforting, it was only when they swooped down near our food that it got annoying.

Later that day, I took my children to the local mall to buy clothes and treats and posted the letter to Misty's address, luckily I had noticed the house numbers on my way up the lane to her house.
Chapter 26

Ronan

What have I done?

I went into the kitchen and grabbed some rum from the cupboard and drank it down. I put the bottle on the counter.

No, drinking isn't the answer, Ronan. Think.

My emotions were all over the place, part of me blamed Ruby for this. If she hadn't shunned me, I wouldn't have strayed. Just a few short months ago, I never thought about another woman. My affair wasn't just about sex; Ruby wasn't interested in me any longer and I went astray. However, I'd like to know who she was screwing, so I could go knock them out. Or, maybe I should have tried to work it out when she offered me the olive branch, now it was potentially too late.

She had probably gone to Shauntay and Mark's house. It seemed like the most logical place for her to go after dumping our kids on them often enough to go see her man. I jumped in the car and raced over there breaking the speed limit. It was past two a.m. but I didn't care; I had to salvage this situation.

I banged loudly on their door.

There was no response.

"Ruby! I know you're in there!" I shouted.

A few seconds later, the door swung open and Mark stood there in his boxers like an angry bear—definitely not amused by my late night visit.

"What the hell is this, Ronan? It's almost three in the morning and you're screaming like a mad man!" he said with a scowl.

I tried pushing past him to get inside, but he held me back.

"I know she's in there with my kids, Mark! Let me in. Ruby!" I called out past Mark's shoulder and into the dark house.

"She's not here!" Mark said and pushed me back out the front door. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but you need to leave, right now!"

I was readying myself to punch Mark when Shauntay appeared at the doorway in her midnight blue gown. She looked me up and down. "What's this about, Ronan?"

I could tell by the look on Shauntay's face that she was clueless about what was going on.

"She walked out on me and took the kids with her," I said.

"Who Ruby?" Shauntay asked, her eyes big as saucers.

"Yes, and I thought she might be here."

"Oh my God! What did you do, Ronan?" Shauntay asked.

"I don't know. She tells you everything. She's probably off with her man that she's been cheating on me with."

"What the hell are you talking about, her man?"

"You're her best friend, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Is she over at that loose chick, Serenity's, house? She's probably the one who's been putting all of this nonsense in Ruby's mind and causing her to cheat on me. Where is she, Shauntay?"

"Serenity has nothing to do with Ruby's disappearance. If you knew your wife, you would already know what was wrong with her."

"Oh, I do. She has another man, and she has no business dragging our children out so she can go whore around," I said, raising my voice in disgust at the thought of Ruby having my kids out in the middle of her...well, our...deception.

Mark grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me onto the front lawn where we struggled. He shouted, "Get your ass away from my house, you fool! And don't you ever come back over here disrespecting my home and my wife."

"Mark! Stop it."

I could've knocked Mark's ass out, but he was right. I was acting a fool, and Ruby didn't even appear to be there. I started to walk away, but Shauntay wasn't finished with me. After ushering Mark towards the door, she said, "I'll deal with this, Mark."

"Shauntay, he can either calm down or get in his car and leave. This is flat out ridiculous. Our damn neighbors are going to think we're crazy all because of him," Mark said, as he stood in the doorway, looking like he was ready to pounce if I yelled again.

"It's fine, he's calmed down, right Ronan?" Shauntay asked me.

"Yeah."

Mark shot me a look which should have killed me dead if that sort of thing were real, but he stayed inside the doorway. Shauntay walked barefoot across the lawn and joined me near my car. A few of their neighbors were looking at us from behind the blinds across the way.

"Way to cause a scene," said Shauntay.

"She's left me," I said, rage brewing in my chest. It was hard to keep that rage from traveling to my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. "Has she called you?"

"No, it sounds like she made a snap decision. Did anything happen between you two that would cause that?"

"It must've been a snap decision for her to run off with her other man. If I had an affair, it was only because she had one first!" I admitted, looking Shauntay in the eye as if I were confronting Ruby herself.

"You make me sick!" Shauntay said before hauling off and slapping my jaw to a tight clasp. "She told me all about you staying out late, going off to bars and coming home at all hours of the morning reeking of women's fragrance and sex. You have no idea what your wife has been going through over the past three months. You don't know the lengths she's gone through to keep you happy."

"Well, that's just it. I'm not happy."

"So you thought you'd just go out and have an affair? Who was it?" she asked before blowing air into the wind. "No, let me guess. That girl that's been filling in for your secretary? Ruby might not have caught it, but I saw the way your slick ass looked at her at the company party. I saw the desire dance back and forth between you two."

If my attraction to Misty had been so evident that Shauntay picked up on it, I wondered who else might have caught it. Was that the reason my Ruby was being so distant?

"You men are so predictable," said Shauntay breaking into my thoughts. "I should've warned Ruby to check that hoe out, but it wasn't my place to say. The messenger always gets shot."

"She wouldn't touch me," I said, finally airing the extent of our dirty laundry. I was vexed and tired of being looked at as the bad guy. "She is the one who sent me out of the house, encouraging me to go hang out in the evening. She wanted me to do anything, so she wouldn't have to be intimate with me."

"You really are a stupid fool," Shauntay said while shaking her head. Tears formed in her eyes as she continued. "I promised Ruby I wouldn't tell you her secret, and I'm still not sure that I should."

"I knew it. She is having an affair!" I said certain the news Shauntay was about to give me would rip my world apart.

"There is no affair, Ronan."

"Then what is it?"

"She was diagnosed with cancer."

The air became thin. I struggled to get enough oxygen into my lungs.

This had to be some kind of joke.

"Ruby would have told me if she had cancer. We talk about everything..." I said as my voice began to fade and stories that she told me about her mother came to mind.

The symptoms Ruby had been showing over the past months permeated my brain.

She started wearing wigs again.

She was tired and slept most of the day.

She had upped the amount of time the kids spent with Shauntay.

She had withdrawn from having sex.

All of which I thought she'd done because she had a new man.

Shauntay crossed her arms across her chest. "It's hard for Ruby to talk to you about it. She cried on my shoulder many a times and I begged her to tell you. But when she was a child her father left her mother for another woman, when he found out she had cancer."

"But, I never would leave Ruby because she's sick."

"Yet, you screwed another woman and then came home and laid beside her every night, not knowing she was fighting for her life."

"That's low, Shauntay. Ruby's been lying to me. She didn't trust me."

"Should she have," Shauntay said. "That horrifying feeling she had when her father walked out on her sick and dying mother never left her. That's why she didn't want to tell you she was sick. She watched her parents fall apart and get divorced because of a health scare, and she didn't want the same thing to happen to you two. But it looks like it happened, after all."

"I don't believe what I'm hearing. Are you telling me that my wife has cancer?" I asked feeling incapable of processing the information being relayed to me.

"Yes, Ronan, and I've already told you too much, so you need to talk to Ruby now. What I can say with one hundred percent certainty is that she's not, and never has, cheated on you."

Fear ripped through my heart. My wife had been fighting cancer, while I was being seduced by another woman. What's worse was I didn't recognize any signs that Ruby needed me as deeply as she did.

My hands began to shake uncontrollably as I tried to get my keys from my pocket so I could leave. With one hand on the door knob and my eyes to the sky, I managed to ask, "Is she going to be okay, Shauntay?"

"It was a big scare. She suffered with extreme exhaustion for a while, but I believe she's going to be alright."

"Thanks, Shauntay."

"You're welcome. And Ronan, the reason she didn't want you to touch her was because she felt undesirable. As wrong as it was for her to not tell you about her condition, you sleeping with someone else is inexcusable. I wish she did have another man! It's obvious she deserves more than you are capable of giving," Shauntay said as she fixed her stern gaze on me. She rolled her eyes, turned away from me and stormed back up the walkway to her house abandoning me with my feelings of shame.

I drove off briskly with an invisible cloud over my head. Their nosey neighbors were out on their lawn watching me spin away. And I drove away fast, almost comatose with the stress of it all. Staring out at the road without really seeing it, I almost hit a stray animal. I swerved around it and regained my senses for the drive home. To an empty home.

I didn't get much sleep that night. Instead, I just dosed on the couch drifting in and out, periodically checking my cell phone for any communication from Ruby. With every minute of the night, my angst grew.

I couldn't sleep, so I searched through Ruby's personal things. I went from drawer to drawer throwing out garments. I didn't care where they landed. I needed proof, something tangible, anything to confirm what Shauntay said was a fact.

I kneeled down on Ruby's side of the bed and saw a security lock box. I didn't have the key, but I didn't let that deter me. I bounded down the stairs two at a time and entered the kitchen to get the biggest and strongest knife I could find.

It wasn't long before I had the lock box pried open. It was filled with medical bills that had been paid in cash, all addressed to Ruby. I scanned each letter and saw the type of surgery she had, radiation treatment and its cost. Everything was outlined in black and white.

The medical bills fell from my hands, like the rage from my heart.

"My God, I've ruined the best thing that ever happened to me!" My voice boomed through the empty house.

I sat there on the floor amidst my own pain, a broken man who destroyed everything that I held dear. I made a mess of our lives, and I had to fix it.

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF

"TO THE WOMAN HE LOVES."

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