And now it's time for another episode of "Tim
Vortex, The Last Spacemaster".
"Planet Of The Zombie Vampire Pirates, Episode
7"
In our last episode, Tim and Marysue defeated
the Zombie Vampire Pirates
in an epic battle that used our entire effects
budget.
They return to the ship victorious
...but Tim is mortally wounded.
It looks like this is the end for me. I...
I don't have much time left.
Everything is going dark.
Noooo!
Ah, that's better.
Now, where were we?
You're alive!
But... but... I just saw you die!
Oh that? I revitalized.
I do that all the time.
I thought you knew.
You can come back from the dead?!
Pretty much, yes.
Didn't you know that?
All Spacemasters can do it.
It's common knowledge.
And exactly how many Spacemasters do you think
I might've met before you?
Y'know, given that you're the last one and
all.
You might've mentioned it.
Something like "Hi my name's Tim.
My hobbies include space travel,
collecting glass figurines
and COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD."
I didn't think it was all that important.
Not important?
All those times we put ourselves in mortal
danger,
all those times we risked our lives,
it wasn't OUR lives we were risking;
It was MINE.
Now, that's not fair.
I was at risk too.
Of what? A short nap?
Look, I just died, you know.
No you didn't.
You're standing right there talking to me,
something dead people typically can't do.
Well, it feels like dying.
How would you know? You've never died!
Neither have you.
That's because I only get to do it once!
Well, it hurts!
Does it? Does it really?
No, not really.
But it's really inconvenient.
Oh! Inconvenient!
Is this inconvenient?
What was that for?
That... was for all the times I put my life
on the line
to protect "Tim Vortex, Last of the Spacemasters".
And so is this.
Listen, can we at least talk about this?
I took a bullet for you!
And I appreciated that but...
I got turned into a hideous green squid for
you!
I thought you made a very attractive green
squid.
It took three weeks to get the ink out of
my clothes!
Listen...
...could you...
...could you just stop...
...could you just stop killing me...
...for a minute?
What?
Feeling better now?
Work all that anger out of your system?
Yes, I think so.
Wait. No, not yet.
Will Marysue ever tire of killing Tim?
How about landing on a planet where everyone
isn't trying to kill us?
Will she at least have to take a break to
recharge her ray gun?
What is it with you and tentacles anyway?
How many lives does Tim have?
Nobody likes jellybabies!
Does he get more after beating a boss level?
Thousands of rooms in this ship and only one
toilet!
All these questions and more
will probably not be answered on the next
episode of
Tim Vortex, The Last Spacemaster.
And why does every Christmas have to be a
complete disaster?
