Top of the morning to you laddies!
For no a day out of the year is more better equipped for a top of the 'mornin, then Saint Paddy's Day
Happy St. Paddy's Day to everybody out there! As your resident, Irishman for the day
I will guide you through this, because today is the day
Everyone becomes a little Irish for the day and everyone goes around talking 'like this' and everyone pretending that they're great lads.
And everyone going around saying Happy  St. "Patty's" day.
Lesson number one! It's "Paddy's" Day not "Patty's" Day get it right in your head. Or else *er'lse*
You're gonna around getting some BAYTINS. I'm gonna teach you a bunch of words that you're gonna
Gonna need to know.
For Paddy's Day. When you're going round and you're gonna pretend to be Irish
This is Irish people actually talk, you talk a lot faster
And you talk to like nobody fucking knows to the hell you're talking about.  But the first thing you gotta do on
St. Paddy's Day of course, is to find some green to wear somewhere!
*running 4 the green*
Ah...
'Dere we go, that's a bit better, a little green for the bean for the Irish day on Paddy's Day. Now
I'm not gonna be pinched or bent up by anybody. Right, so I have a 'lil book here..
With me that has some.. It's called a big...- "That's What I Call a Big 'Feckin Irish Book"
It's not the big 'feckin book full of Irish slang
This is a bit of a different one, has a bit of pieces of everything.
But we're gonna go through some slang again together!
Last time, I taught 'ye some words that Irish people would say all the time.
Bullin' could be like you're, you're dying to do something, like..
"I'm bullin for a shite lads."
"Lads, I'll be out in a minute but im bullin for a shite."
Ya know what I mean?
Ah jeez thats-, that lad..
*giggling* 'Fuckin hell..
Some of these are awesome.
Like 'Gammy',
'Gee-bag', 'Wished', or 'Gawk'.
A lot of different words in there.
So I'm gonna try and teach 'ye some more in our annual will get together of how to be Irish with
Jacksepticeye. Now if you're going out on Paddy's day, you're obviously gonna be drinking.
You're gonna be out there, and you're going to be gettin hammered,
you're going to be gettin wasted, you're going to be gettin 'pisched' (?).
So, if you want to be an Irish person and sound a little bit Irish go around calling everyone 'Alcos' all day.
'Jas that lads a fierce Alco. (I'm sorry im probs butchering this so bad.)
That's short for...
Alcoholic, or a person who consumes alcohol on a regular basis, an Alco. A lot of times
I go around saying 'By Jaysus!', By Jaysus, that's mighty to the world all together, powerful shtuff!
'Ya know what im sayin? (Yup!)
So, if you want to have a different word to go out and say instead of 'By Jesus'.
You go around sayin' 'By Jeapers!'
By Jeapers, and 'bigara' (?) well, holy god and holy moses!
By Jeapers means 'by Jesus' and bigara means 'by God'.
Go out there, if you say those words everyone would think that you're Irish.
I swear!
It's true . "Ah! What are you blathering on about?"
"What are you talking about? Stop blathering in 'me ear, Will ya?"
"Will you wished?" See, if you kept up from last time, you will know what 'wished' is. See,
there's going to be an exam at the end of every year got to do with these Irish words
So I hope you're writing down notes! (Ah god, im not ready!)
Hope you had a pen and paper in front of 'ya.
But if your blathering, means that you're full of shite talk. Means that you're full of useless talk
And you just keep blathering over and over again. A great old chinwag going on.
Had a teacher in school tell me that one time. It's like, "Ah, lads in the back havin' a great 'ol chinwag!"
I'd be like, "Ah! Georgie, good man yourself." He's my geography teacher.
Ahm.
*holy music starts playing*
Well by 'garad' by jeapers!
The fricken lights of god are shinin' down apon me!
Thanks lights for turning on for a change!
Good one, 'Kaks.'
And no, I'm not talking about saying cocks in some sort of weird, New York
Bostonian accent like a bunch of 'khaksss'. No!
Kaks are your underwear!
Kinda like Khakis, but not really.
It's like, "Ah, man i'm shittin in 'me kaks.'
Like if you're getting ready to go out and do something and you're terrified of doing it.
It's like you're not shitting bricks. That's another thing
You'd be doing but most people do that, but Irish people we shit in our Kaks. Some of these words
I probably said before, ok. They're very important and some of them need repeating, like this one here is 'Fag'
and no!
I'm not trying to be inflammatory or anything like that. Because in Ireland, a fag is what we call cigarettes...
And in some parts of Britain as well, so if you go around asking people if you can bum a fag
*Be careful*
That sounds really horrible. I know, but in Ireland that means "Can I steal a cigarette off of you?"
There's a reason that we get in trouble a lot! You have to be careful using this stuff out there, alright?
Not everyone can go out there and be convincin'  Irish person, alright?  If you go out there
And you say these things and it goes down the wrong way. You know what you're gonna get..?
BAYTINS!
aaaahh bys, aah lads. (..What?)
A ''Gansey."
A gansey is a jumper. It's something you put over ya' , not a cardigan or a sweater or anything like that. It's a Gansey
That's Irish for jumper!
Sounds a bit weird, and if someone's blathering in your ear all the time
You know what you tell them to shut? You tell them to shut their gob!
Or shut your hole.
Would you ever shut your hole would ya'?
You're doin' an awful lot of shite talkin! 'Lota balthering!
All I want to do is go out and get a few scoops you gobshite.
See, this sounds like it's all foreign language. It sounds like it's a new language of its own
It's very easy to misunderstand what Irish people are actually saying. Sometimes when I go home..
I don't even know what people are sayin. But you know what everyone would say back home?  " 'A sher feckin it'll be grand!"
No matter what happens to 'ya, out in the world in Ireland. Everything's gonna be grand.
We're the most pessimistic optimists in the whole world. It's like,  "Did you hear Jim died last week?"
"Yeah, left his wife with nothing."
"Yeah."
" 'A sure it'll be grand!"
If 'ya wanna get out of sticky situation as well,
if you find yourself using some of these and then people are looking at you like they want a beat the
head off 'ya. Then you got to be careful, and then if you need to get out of the situation..
Then you pull a  'legger'.
Alright?
A legger.
It's where you'd sprint out of a situation very quickly, get out of a situation, in rapid.
Uh, succession okay? "A rapid exit from a situation."
Pull in a legger,  'cause if you're messing about with some loopers then you're gonna lose your head
They're gonna beat the head off  'ya, and you don't want that.
I mean you probably have a few scoops with them afterwards and you'll all be grand with a big pint of black shtuff all between.
But, I mean, if you go out there, and you start messing with 'almadons' and 'louthers' (?)...
Then, you're looking for baytins really.
You're waiting for a baytin. So when you're out with your friends today
And you want to feel like, like you know more about Ireland than they do, that you're a real
"PADDY'S DAY."
person. Then go out and say that you're 'out in the lash.'
Like, come on my fellow other countries. Let's go out and get 'on the lash'.
Yeah, don't be a pain in the hole. But if you are out drinking alright, and you're getting plastered...
And you're all over the place..
And you can't even put one foot in front of the other, then you gotta be careful 'cause you might start some ructions.
Ructions are a loud, verbal commotion.
When you're talkin to somebody and you're all getting into a verbal arguement...
..neither of you know where your fucking arse from your head is, then you're getting into ructions.
You don't want to be getting into ructions. You want to be having a good time you want to be out in the sauce!
Oh my god. I haven't heard this word in years.. A 'skanger' (?).
It sounds horrible!
It's a female lacking in sophistication. That's one way of putting it, "The skanger drank her finger bowl."
*Laughing*
Oh... It's..
A skanger.. It's such a bad sounding word. "God, an awful skanger isn't she?"
Oh, us Irish have a great way of putting each other down.
There's a good word for getting drunk. You're scuttered.
'Cause you get the skutters out of it!
Skutters is diarrhea. If you have the skutters.
Then you're skuttered, cuz usually if you drink too much Guinness you get Guinness poo's.
And they're horrible or if you drink any sort of like stout or anything for too long, you'll get the skutters!
So you're skuttered!
If you're out in the lash, if you're out in the sauce,
Then you're getting 'skutterbies' (WHAT?!).
Even I had to do a double take of this one.
'Wojus.'
*Past Jack* Wojus?
Oh my god.
W-O-J-U-S.
Extremely poor quality. I was like, I've never heard that before and then I was like, that building is wojus.
I was like, oh my god. I have. I have legitimately not heard anybody say wojus in about...
15 years.
Oh my god..
It's like a flash from the past. I haven't heard it in yonks!
You could say, I think I said yonks before. I have a little list of stuff that I've said already
I don't want to repeat myself..
So many good words from the Irish people! Alright that was just slang, that's just the slang side of things.
Now we're getting into some feckin' Irish insults
I'm only gonna give ye' a few okay? 'Cause..
You'll get into a lot of baytins, you'll get into a lot of ructions if you go around using these ones.
"You're as fat as a Galway Bishop."
"Askin' her who the father is would be like asking which bean caused the fart."
"You're about as useful as a chocolate teapot."
"... as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest."
"For someone without any cows, he sure does produce an awful lot of bullshit."
"Jaysus, god must've used him as blueprint for a gobshite."
"Ah, that lad couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel."
"That lad 'el steal the eyes out of your head and come back for the lashes."
"He has the face like a constipated greyhound."
These are actually all stuff I heard. (aw...)
Last but not least..
*clap*
"He's as ignorant as a sack of arses."
Alright, well that does of this St. Paddy's Day video, remember, that's the most important lesson of all. The first and last lesson I'll give you.
"Paddy's Day". Don't go out there looking like a gobshite!
Or you'll get some baytins after fallin' into a few ructions, after bein' out in the sauce for a few days.
You know I'm saying?  I hope you all learned something here today.
I hope you all learned some useful information. (I did, thanks! ^^)
Don't worry, I will be here to answer any and all questions Irish.
Uhm, whenever i'm doing these videos the Irish just comes flowing out of me.
the accent comes back stronger than ever and I'm here..
To represent the people, the culture, it's important. We need people to know, everybody out there pretendin' to be Irish
But they're all being fake Irish people. You know you got to be out there, and you got to be proper!
Anyway, I'm gonna be back next year
I'll be back to teach you some more lessons then, but for now..
Thank you guys so much for watching this video if you liked it punch that like button in the face..
Like a boss!
And..
High fives all 'round.
*whooposh X2*
But, thank you guys and I will see all you dudes..
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
My ladder has a face, and I'm like someone tried to pull him out with a shovel
