

### Sanky Panky Pirate

### By

### KuroKoneko Kamen

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 by KuroKoneko Kamen

Cover Design by Geoff Trebs

Author Photo by Michele Shiels

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

### Chapter 1: Avast me beauty! Prepare to be boarded!

[Golden Age of Piracy - Island in the Caribbean - Dominican Republic]

"Die Machete!"

A pale, lanky gentleman dressed in a well-tailored suit with a pair of round spectacles on his face and with his black hair slicked back in a very serious way, was not acting very gentlemanly as he swung his cutlass at me in a rather violent manner.

" _Hijo de puta!_ You son of a bitch!" He yelled as he continued to swing his sword at me in a series of deadly jabs and slashes.

Yep, these were the first words out of my brother's mouth as soon as he recognized me. It had been ten years since we had last seen each other and this was a reunion of sorts. Not exactly the best greeting to receive from one's brother after such a long time of separation but I can't say I really blame him due to the current circumstances.

I ducked and my brother's cutlass went whizzing over my head. He took a couple of strands of my long, wavy, black hair with the blow. I was thinking of getting a haircut anyways, honest. Long hair was way too much work for a guy to handle. I was lazy, a low maintenance kind of guy.

"What's this _hermano_? Not only did you learn how to use a sword while you were away you also became a barber?" I teased. Yea, I had a problem with taking things seriously.

I had to admit that I was very surprised my wimpy and scholarly brother Santiago could actually wield a sword now. Back just a few years ago all Santiago did was read weird philosophy books with titles like: _The Book of Lieh-Tzu_ , _Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships_ , _Meditation: The First and Last Freedom_ , _Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously_ , _Intuition: Knowing Beyond Logic, Freedom from the Known_ , _As One Is: To Free the Mind from All Conditioning_.

I stroked my chin as I observed my brother taking a fighting stance. Obviously someone had taught him how to fight and knowing my brother he had probably also read up on the art of combat.

And therein lay the problem. My brother stuck 'to the books' too much. Meaning he always followed the rules. He wasn't impulsive or imaginative enough to win a real fight. Real life was impossible to predict. I was the exact opposite: I never played nor fought by the rules. I had been taught swordsmanship but I didn't follow the forms exactly. I always put my own twist on the way I fought.

Therefore, my brother's motions were completely predictable therefore. Whereas the way I moved, ducked, evaded and attacked was completely unpredictable and chaotic. One minute I would be jabbing my machete forward only to end up spinning on my head and kicking out with my feet at my brother's head in a kind of break dancing move...though break dancing didn't exist in the seventeenth century...

The way I fought was hotheaded and reckless – the way my brother fought was coolheaded and calculating.

Why were we fighting, one may ask? What could possibly make two brothers fight each other like this? With one of them (aka Santiago) trying to kill the other (aka me) so mercilessly.

\--A buxom beauty of course. (It's always a woman, isn't it?)

Said blonde bombshell was lying on the only bed that was in the hotel room while giving us an amused look when my brother wasn't looking. She was scantily clad (regretfully I had had a hand in this). She was wearing a white, lace-up corset and a pair of lacy, white panties. Her wavy blonde hair cascaded around her shoulders and over her breasts in golden waves. She had large, silver-blue eyes that reminded me fondly of newly polished steel. Her lips were painted provocatively in red. She was extremely pale skinned – a rich, _gringa_ merchant's daughter. The prime prey of any Sanky Panky. And had I already mentioned that she had an extremely nice pair of full, luscious breasts.

She looked just like an angel but was more like a devil in disguise. The reality was that I could easily win and kick my brother's ass. But there was only one problem. I was actually a great big softy. Totally misunderstood by the world. Sure, I got into fights all the time and beat the shit out of people on a daily basis but this was my _brother_ , people!

"Blanca?" My brother's attention was drawn to the woman on the bed, "Are you alright?"

Blanca wrapped her arms around her bare chest and gave my brother a frightened look, tears filling her eyes expertly. "Santiago...Thank God...He!"

Santiago reached his hand out to cup Blanca's cheek. I watched in disbelief as she pressed her cheek into his hand and gave him a relieved look. What an actress! "Don't worry, my sweet. Just let me handle this." Santiago told her and Blanca nodded. He patted her head and returned his attention back to me.

I gawked at Blanca. "What the hell is this?" I turned to face my brother with a slightly confused look on my face. Oi! Since when was I the villain of this story? I mean really – Blanca was the one who had been seducing _me_ not the other way around, dammit! "What's going on?" I groused, beginning to get frustrated.

"I will protect my lady's honor." Santiago declared pointing his cutlass at me. "I am the Lady Blanca's fiancé!"

"Fiancé?!" I gaped at my brother in shock, "No way..." I sent Blanca an accusing stare. How dare that vixen try to seduce me when she was engaged with my brother. Even though I liked sex...I wouldn't have betrayed my brother for just another piece of ass however nice.

"You will pay for dishonoring my fiancé, Machete!" Santiago lunged at me.

"Hey, no one's 'dishonored' anyone yet. You interrupted us remember?" I shot back as I was forced to dodge out of the way of my brother's sword. _Shit._ "Oi! That was close! That could have hurt! Crap. Can't we discuss this? This is all just a big misunderstanding...that woman...she...!" I was saying.

Santiago let out a heavy sigh. "Idiot. That's because I _was_ trying to hurt you, kill you rather. And discuss this?" Santiago drawled as he swung his cutlass and nearly beheaded me once again and took a few more hairs in the attack. "Since when were you one for conversation Machete? No, you're a man of actions, of fists and of blows. So that's how we'll communicate!"

I watched as several more locks of my hair fell to the ground. Dammit. This was going to make it harder for me to be a Sanky Panky with the awful haircut I now had. I was unarmed and my brother was out for blood...

I spotted my machete out of the corner of my eye and lunged for it. I picked it up just in the nick of time as I turned and blocked a forward jab from my brother's cutlass.

My brother didn't stop there, however, and kept on swinging his cutlass relentlessly at me while I blocked. Sparks flew up into the air and I saw them reflected beautifully in Blanca's silver-blue eyes...

I really didn't want to hurt my brother though and so was only blocking his blows half-heartedly. It was probably because of this that he managed to disarm me-

I watched as my machete went flying up into the air and landed on the floor. I saw the triumphant look on my brother's face. He thought he had already won. But I wasn't the same Machete my brother knew from ten years ago. I took a deep breath and got into a fighting stance. "Have it your way, let's communicate _hermano_!" I agreed.

[MACHETE VS SANTIAGO] FIGHT!

Santiago raised an eyebrow at my strange fighting stance and was probably wondering what I was up to.

Santiago charged me, expecting to run me through. But I lithely dodged his attacks. Jab. Evade. Slash. Evade. Stab. Evade. Santiago lunged his sword forward and watched it go over my shoulder-

I spun sideways and delivered a sidekick to Santiago's stomach.

"Oof!" My brother staggered backwards and gave me a shocked look. Santiago charged me again, holding his cutlass in both hands and brought it down at me in a high downwards slash.

I didn't move and I'm sure my brother was regretting his hasty actions and thinking to himself that he'd really end up slicing his own brother in two. However-

[TIME OUT. HIT THAT PAUSE BUTTON.]

I'm really getting ahead of myself. Aren't I? I should really start this story at the beginning. And I guess the real beginning would be the day I was born...

I was born on a windward island in the Caribbean called Dominican Republic in the town called Cabarete Village. The day I was born was unlucky. A hurricane was passing through Dominican Republic and leaving your home was not only dangerous but impossible. I mean, the wind was blowing so hard cows were flying through the air. My mother Esperanza – an exotic island woman with tanned skin, long, wavy, black hair and eyes that resembled onyx stones – sent for the local doctor, a man named Dr. Julian to come once she had gone into labor, but he was unable to leave Cabarete Hospital because of the hurricane.

The only other person who was there to assist my mother during childbirth, however, was my barbaric, _gringo_ , pirate father apparently. He didn't know the first thing about childbirth but somehow my mother managed to safely deliver me into this world...

My umbilical chord still needed to be cut and there were no scalpels available, and so not knowing what else to do my father whipped out his machete and cut my umbilical chord with it before my mother could stop him. My mother, of course, had a fit:

"Franco! What do you think you're doing waving that dangerous weapon around in front of your own son like that?! He could be hurt!" Esperanza exclaimed.

But Franco just chuckled. " _Me_ son won't be hurt so easily. Blimey! Look how he's grabbed onto me machete and won't let go!"

Esperanza looked down at her baby boy and her eyes widened when she saw that it was true and that I was gripping the blade of the machete with my bare hand and giggling. My mother promptly passed out from the sight.

"This lad of mine has balls of steel!" My pirate father chuckled uproariously at the fact that even though he was waving a machete at me I didn't cry. "I'm going to call him Machete!"

And that's apparently how I ended up with a cliché name like Machete.

Sometime not long after that my father departed the Dominican Republic...never to return again. My pirate father had abandoned my mother and had chosen his first love: the sea. Because of this I decided I _hated_ pirates. My mother told me that father had probably been killed either in a sea battle against a merchant ship he was trying to plunder or perhaps the Sea Forces had finally caught up with him. Once, my mother slipped up and told me that Father had a bounty of one thousand _pieces-of-eight_ on his head. An unheard of bounty. It made me wonder sometimes, just who was my father, really?

[FASTFORWARD]

Okay, so I grew up. People grow up whether they want to or not. Before I knew it I had somehow managed to survive to the age of twelve. Even with the hard time my Mother had raising me by herself when I was twelve I was dirt poor. I was also a _limpiabotas_ – a shoeshine boy. I would go into town and shine the shoes of rich _gringo_ merchants for about one _real_. Merchants would come to the DR on galleons in order to resupply before practically fleeing to the next island.

I wanted to grow up quickly, so that I could help my mother, but time moves slowly when you want it to move fast. Time – is a real _puta_ like that.

I would hang out with the other _limpiabotas_ my age at the strip of restaurants and taverns located along the beach and where the merchants were most likely to frequent as they went there to wine and dine. All the _dominican_ kids would be there ready to ask the merchants if they needed their shoes shinned for one _real_.

The problem with this business endeavor was that the ratio of _limpiabotas_ to merchants was five to one. So for us kids it was war. We formed alliances, had fights, won and lost turf. I had learned to throw a punch at a very young age because of this all in order to survive. All this for a single ' _real'_ which was equal to one _piece-of-eight_. It was a hard knock life.

And then the Japanese invented a new kind of shoe: a platform with a thong strap that would come to be known as a 'sandal' and which would soon make us _limpiabotas_ obsolete. Damn those Japs...

My two best friends – Moreno and Amano – were also _limpiabotas_. My friend Moreno was a dark-skinned, somewhat ugly kid, but the kindest and most loyal person you'd ever meet. He was self-conscious of his afro and so always shaved his head and wore a bandana. Moreno sometimes went hungry since instead of shinning merchants' shoes like he was supposed to he was often occupied in his favorite pastime instead: stealing the panties of the merchants' rich, pretty, _gringa_ daughters.

I had several adventures helping Moreno to escape successfully from merchants' vacation villas (the merchants never stayed in Dominican Republic permanently but did occasionally stay for a one to two week vacation). Sometimes I would have to break Moreno out of jail if he got caught. Moreno was always getting himself into trouble, which in a way was a good thing, since I was bored out of my mind in Dominican Republic and getting Moreno out of trouble gave me something to do.

My soft-spoken friend Amano was very different from the overly loud Moreno. He was a _mulatto_ like me but lucked out with prettier genes. If you'd call it luck that is. He ended up with _trigeno_ , olive-colored skin, curly, golden-brown hair and clear, green eyes. He had a very pretty face. People were always mistaking Amano for a girl...and he ended up getting bullied a lot because of it. Although, as soon as I found out about this I beat up all the kids who had been picking on Amano and that put an end to that.

Ah, there's one more friend I'm forgetting about. The Fourth Musketeer. He was the sickly son of Cabarete Village's doctor – Dr. Julian. His son's name was Sebastian. Sebastian was so weak, sick and pathetic that he had to stay confined in a room at the makeshift hospital that existed in Cabarete Village. Sebastian was a _gringo_ like his father and so had pale skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. He was the same age as Moreno, Amano and I.

The three of us used to go visit Sebastian in his hospital room and play with him. We'd bring board games, play cards and I'd tell Sebastian stories of my adventures in Dominican Republic saving Amano and Moreno from bullies or angry merchants, getting into fights, running away and escaping from the authoritites...

Sebastian's eyes would grow quite large as I told him my slightly over embellished and over exaggerated stories. I knew he enjoyed those stories very much and knew he admired me since he was always complimenting me. Saying things like:

"Wow! You're so cool, Machete! I wish I could be as tough as you!" He would say.

I think it gave me a big head or a rush or something because I kept going back to that hospital room and kept on telling Sebastian stories of my exploits and mishaps in Cabarete Village as the years went by...

[TWO YEARS LATER]

As I got a little older, a little bigger and a little stronger I was able to help out at the restaurants that were on the beach as an 'odd jobs boy'. I earned about three _reals_ for an entire day's work.

Around this time, my mother fell gravely ill. She had always had a very delicate constitution due to having a weak heart. We had no money for her heart medication and that's when I decided to try my hand at being a _ladrone_ (thief). My friend Moreno was the best pickpocket in Cabarete Village and soon showed me the ropes. Before long, I tired of picking pockets, my eyes wandering to those fat merchant ships in our harbor. I had always been a reckless youth and so I decided to try sneaking onboard and stealing from those merchant ships instead. I would steal whatever I got my hands on.

I was a good thief. I rarely got caught, but then of course there were the times when I _did_ get caught. On the occasions when the merchant sailors would catch me they would beat the shit out of me. They'd whip the flesh off my back, showing me no mercy even though I was just a stupid kid. It hurt like hell but I refused to cry in front of them. I wouldn't cry because my mother cried enough for the both of us.

I remember my beautiful mother's tears...

I would return home covered in blood, battered and bruised from my exploits. My mother would wrap her arms around me, hug me close pushing my face right in her ample bosom, and stroke my hair as she apologized:

"I'm so sorry Machete...for not being a better mother. For being so weak and pathetic. For you having to suffer because of me. For not being smarter, less clumsy. You're just a kid and should be having fun and having a childhood but because of me you have to grow up too fast. I'm so sorry, _mi precioso hijo_."

But I was the one who was sorry. Sorry that I was still too young, too stupid, and too weak to protect my mother.

Oops, I haven't even mentioned my brother Santiago yet. Nope, unfortunately I wasn't an only child as _chulo_ (cool) as that would have been. Well, my brother was the exact opposite of me. He was a total bookworm. He spent all his time doing nothing but learning to read and write and even learned English. He then began to read books and more books until he had read every book that existed in our tiny town.

After my brother had finished reading the very last book that existed in the DR he surprised me with his request to steal him a book or two from one of the merchant's ships. And so, I began to steal books from the merchant ships for my brother as well as silver or gold to support my family. This is how Santiago began to learn about trade, and things like accounting, bartering, mathematics, navigation, etc. I never would have dreamed that my brother was secretly studying to become a merchant.

My brother had a real thirst for knowledge. His mind was like a sponge. He wanted to learn, to become smarter and use his brain to help mom and I: us.

I, on the other hand, was never one for scholarly pursuits. Santiago tried to teach me how to read and write, but I just didn't have the patience for it. The words on the page all looked like gibberish to me. Like some kind of foreign alien language. It might as well have been hieroglyphics. I'd get brain freeze just trying. I also sucked at trying to learn languages.

My mother continued to encourage Santiago as he increased his intellect while I continued to train my body.

[THREE YEARS LATER]

I was seventeen now. Around this time I was just working on getting _physically_ stronger. I'd get into fights against my fellow _dominicans_. This is how I learned to fight so well. How to throw a punch, a straight right, an uppercut and how to do a roundhouse kick. I guess you could say I grew up and turned into a juvenile delinquent. At first I fought only because the fights seemed to come to me but then I began to enjoy it. After that I was always looking for a good reason to fight. Anytime I fought this rush of adrenaline surged through me and my _sangre caliente_.

This is probably how I ended up attracting the attention of this skilled Jap. One of the merchants that had come to the DR happened to have a _samurai_ bodyguard from _Sakura Jima_ (Island of the Cherry Blossoms). I caught his eye during a 'betting fight' and he challenged me. He beat me easily then on a whim decided to train me for the twenty days that he was going to be staying in the DR.

Let me REWIND. I was in the middle of a betting fight when I met The Samurai. My buddies and I were so dirt poor we couldn't even have proper 'cock fights' to bet on since we couldn't afford to buy a rooster, and so we used ourselves. We'd fight against each other and bet on the outcome using currency that was usually things like bags of rice, rum or cigarettes (called _papelates_ back in the seventeenth century).

The guy I was fighting was twice as large as me, but when the fight started all I saw was red. I just started punching him and kept on punching him until he was on the ground. And even then I didn't stop. I was straddling my opponent and punching him mercilessly across the face again and again, the feeling of my fist connecting with his jaw was somehow _satisfying_.

In that moment I felt powerful. Having another human being like that completely at my mercy – I would soon discover that this feeling of being strong was nothing but an illusion.

I was just some weak _dominican_ punk.

The adrenaline rush and my _sangre caliente_ had gone to my head and no one could stop me even though they tried. Apparently, as some of my buddies had tried to grab onto my arms I had sent them flying without even realizing it. I probably would have ended up killing Chinchorizo if it weren't for The Samurai.

I felt an iron grip on my shoulder and I was suddenly flung backwards off of Chinchorizo and went skidding across the sand. Blinded by anger I quickly pushed myself up off the beach and stood to see who the _hijo de puta_ , bastard, was that dared to interfere with my fight.

The blood that had rushed to my head though was already receding. I stood up to see a man with oriental features standing in front of me with an annoyingly blank look on his face. This man, who was probably Japanese, looked about forty-seven years old since there was gray mixed in through his black hair. He was wearing a rather strange outfit: a pair of pants that almost looked like a skirt at first and which I would later learn were called ' _hakama_ ' or 'split pants'. He was also wearing a kind of _kimono_ wrap shirt, which I later learned was called a ' _haori_ '. He had a pair of thong sandals on his feet. And he had his hair in a topknot.

This guy would have looked like a total wimp in that kind of an outfit if it hadn't been for that scary looking face of his. He had fierce, narrow eyes and there was a gigantic scar on his cheek. The scar consisted of three slashes that made it look like a gigantic tiger had slashed it claws across his face. But there could be no such thing as a tiger that was that large...

Sandals. My eye twitched. _Stupid Japs!_ I had lost a lot of business as a _limpiabota_ because of those damned Japs and their damned sandals...

My eyes were drawn to the incredibly long and unusual looking weapon that was strapped to his waist and which I would later learn was called a ' _katana_ '.

_That's one hell of a machete._ I thought to myself. _Like the machete of all machetes. The Big Kahuna of machetes._

[MACHETE VS THE SAMURAI] ROUND ONE, FIGHT!

The Jap just stood there and calmly looked back at me. He nodded once and got into a fighting stance, though at the time I had no idea what the hell he was doing. He just moved his right foot forward, turned his body somewhat sideways, positioned his left foot back, and raised his hands before him, but not into fists...

I could feel a trickle of sweat running down the side of my face at that. It looked completely retarded. I mean, what was he planning to do to me? Slap me? And then with his right hand The Samurai suddenly made an unmistakable hand motion that clearly said: 'Come and get it'.

My eye twitched again. _What the fuck?!_ Was this stupid Jap trying to pick a fight with me?! Well, if it was a fight he wanted – it was a fight he was going to get.

"AHHHHH! ¡ _Coñio_!" I ran at the Jap recklessly across the sand, fist raised and swung my fist at the Jap – for a right hook—

But with minimal movement the Jap somehow dodged my punch.

I blinked down at my fist in shock, quirking my head at the Jap. I scratched my head, befuddled. What the fuck had just happened? A fluke? I never missed a punch.

A fluke, I decided and moved to punch the Jap again. I swung and missed – again. I furrowed my brows – perplexed by this strange turn of events and tried to punch the Jap again and again. But each time and with very little movement the Jap dodged my attacks.

I was beginning to get pissed. Fucking Jap was making a fool out of me in front of _mis amigos_ , 'my friends', and so I moved in to finish him off with a good 'ol straight right. That's when the world went topsy-turvy.

Apparently, the Jap had grabbed my arm and using my own forward momentum had tossed me over his shoulder and onto my back. Panting for breath I looked up at the starry night sky overhead. There was a full moon shinning brightly. The fronds of the nearby palm trees looked black against the sky and somehow framed the sky in a picturesque manner. The night sky in the DR was always like this – perfect. There was very little extra light coming from the sparse number of restaurants and taverns that were on the beach that would have otherwise interfered with the view of the stars.

I thought to myself: _What the fuck have I been doing all this time?_ I thought that I had been getting stronger...and this Jap just popped out of nowhere to show me how wrong I was. I wasn't strong at all. The guys in the DR were all a bunch of weak, pansy asses. I was just a big fish in a small pond.

The Samurai – now _he_ was strong.

I pushed myself back up off the beach and turned to face The Samurai. I dusted sand off my clothes and ran my hands back through my messy hair. "What the fuck was that? Some kind of _kung fu_ magic shit?"

To my surprise the stoic _samurai_ smiled slightly at me, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "If you want to learn more...follow me." That said he turned around and began to calmly walk off down the beach.

Suffice it to say, I hightailed it after him. "Hey! Wait up, old man! Geez..."

The Samurai was the bodyguard of one of the merchants who was currently resupplying at Dominican Republic. He was going to be in the DR for only twenty days, which was actually an unusually long time for here. Apparently, the merchant got some _puta_ (whore) pregnant and wanted to be there for the child's birth. The merchant planned to take the child but leave the _puta_ behind. Tough luck.

Twenty days. I had twenty days to learn martial arts, and to learn everything I could from The Samurai. When I think back on those twenty days I feel like they were the most thrilling, most exciting, most challenging days of my life. Martial arts changed me – mind, body and soul.

The Samurai was a hard, merciless, 'Spartan' teacher. He taught me all forms of Japanese martial arts: _karate_ , _akido_ , _jujutsu,_ and _kendo_ (Japanese swordsmanship).

He helped me to build up the strength in my body first by making me perform the strangest tasks: meditation under waterfalls, fighting _perros callejeros_ , wild dogs, and punching my fist into a barrel filled with uncooked _habichuelas_ (beans) to build calluses on my hands. He also designed these extremely heavy weights, which wrapped around my legs, arms and torso that I was forced to wear when we sparred.

And then there was jogging.

One would have thought this would be the most normal activity out of all the things _sensei_ (teacher) was making me do but it was probably the most unusual. To build up my strength he had me do the strangest method of jogging imaginable.

The day before I began training with the _samurai_ he told me to meet him the following day at sunrise on the beach. I arrived there to see The Samurai standing on the beach and next to him was a four-foot tall Buddha statue. The Samurai directed me to put the Buddha statue on my back and jog around the entire circumference of Dominican Republic.

I felt a trickle of sweat form on the side of my head for his outlandish request but I did as I was told. The next day, I arrived at the beach at dawn to see The Samurai standing there with that damned Buddha statue next to him again. Again, I was forced to jog around the island with that damned heavy statue on my back.

Several days later...

I thought I was going crazy. The days passed but the statue on my back wasn't feeling any lighter. It may have been my imagination but some days the statue even felt _heavier_. I wondered with a sigh if I would ever gain strength.

Ten days later...

I arrived at the beach and saw The Samurai with the Buddha statue standing next to him. I'm not a morning person. I was barely awake but this time I noticed something odd about the stone statue.

I rubbed my eyes and squinted at it. The morning sun was too damned bright. "Hey...wasn't that statue shorter?" The statue The Samurai had brought with him that morning looked exactly the same as usual but was about a foot taller than The Samurai making it at least seven-feet tall. When I had started jogging with the statue on my back I could have sworn that the statue was two feet shorter than The Samurai.

The Samurai gave me a bland look. "I don't know what you're talking about. It's the same statue, _baka_ (idiot). _Hayaku!_ Hurry up and go jogging!"

"Keh," I gave The Samurai an incredulous look. There was no way I was going to be able to lift that huge statue! I went over to the statue and put my hands on it. I then tried to lift it up and to my surprise I was able to lift the seven-foot tall statue and put it on my back! Unreal. I jogged around the island.

The next day...

"Oi! Hey!" I gawked at the statue that was standing next to The Samurai in disbelief. It was at least eight-feet tall. "Do you take me for a fool, Jap! That can't be the same statue as yesterday!"

Again, The Samurai just eyed me thoughtfully with that Poker Face of his. "It's the same statue." He insisted. "Now go jog, _kuso gaki!_ Damned brat!"

"Keh," I snorted and picked up the statue, put it on my back, piggyback style, and started my vigorous morning jog around the island.

That evening, I was out drinking with my two best friends Moreno and Amano when something unusual happened. Amano had grown up to be an even prettier man and deciding to put his only and best asset to good use – aka his pretty face – decided to become a Sanky Panky. What is a Sanky Panky one may ask?

A Sanky Panky is a male gigolo found in the Caribbean. A Sanky Panky solicits on beaches and has clients of both sexes. When with men, the Sanky Panky usually assumes the active (aka top) role, but when with women assumes the role of an ideal lover.

A Sanky Panky's aim is not to directly negotiate money for sex but to create a pseudo-relationship which can be continued even after the merchant ship leaves and that can be continued upon their return. The merchants or their daughters would have money sent to the Sanky Panky while they were on voyage. A Sanky Panky's goal is marriage to a rich merchant (or merchant's daughter) and the opportunity to leave the Dominican Republic and sail to a more prosperous island or the New World.

Some _dominicans_ would insult Amano by calling him a 'Hanky Panky' which was a derogatory term for a man who sleeps with another man, referring to the assumption that he's taking the 'passive role' of being on the bottom during sex. The guys that dared to insult my lifelong friend though were complete idiots since I'd always make sure to track them down and beat the crap out of them. After that no one would dare to call Amano a Hanky Panky to my face.

Moreno had grown up to become the best pickpocket in Cabarete Village. Moreno didn't have the looks to be a Sanky Panky even if he wanted to. Yep, he was still ugly. He also still wore a bandana around his head to hide his kinky hair self-consciously. If you happened to pass Moreno on the street you would probably find out later that you were missing something. Good 'ol Sticky Fingers Moreno.

A Hanky Panky and a _ladrone_ : I know what you're thinking. Those were my best friends but in the Dominican Republic...most men were _ladrones_ and most women were _prostitutas_. That's just the way it was.

"So let me get this straight. Some Jap saw you street fighting and has decided to train _you_ and teach _you_ martial arts?" Moreno was giving me an incredulous look. Lucky things didn't happen very often in the DR.

I nodded. "Aye. I'm undergoing the strangest training though. He makes me carry stone statues on my back and run around the island every morning for one. I'm beginning to wonder if he's not some kind of closet sadist."

Moreno raised an eyebrow at the description of The Samurai's unusual training methods. He shook his head. " _Eso es jodido_. That's fucked up man. How is any of that crap going to make you stronger? When is he going to start teaching you actual martial arts? Like how to fight?"

Amano was frowning and looking more and more worried as the subject of our conversation unfolded. "That sounds very...dangerous. I could never do something like that. I wouldn't survive a day of that kind of Spartan training. Besides, as you guys know I'm a lover not a fighter."

I shrugged. "Who knows? But I know one thing for sure: he's strong. The way he moved when I fought him...it was so fast...there must be some kind of trick to it...a secret..." I stroked my chin in thought.

"Maybe there's a method to his madness." Amano put his hands out in a helpless gesture. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked as I picked earwax out of my ear.

"You must sit on a rock for three years before it will get warm." Amano responded.

I snorted.

"He means you can't succeed in anything overnight." Moreno said. "To accomplish anything takes time. And everyone starts out as a beginner. There is no way to skip steps. And when you're in the Dominican Republic things always take twice as along." A merchant was walking past us and Moreno picked his pocket, stealing his gold watch in a second. Moreno looked at the watch appraisingly before sticking it in his pocket. I rolled my eyes at him. "Strength is overrated." Moreno continued. "What you need is speed..." A merchant's _gringa_ daughter walked by us next and Moreno's hand moved swiftly through the air. Moreno waited a moment before the girl was out of eyesight before he showed the two of us what he had swiped from her. He pulled a lacy red bra out from his shirt's sleeve.

"Ooo." Amano clapped softly.

I shook my head at Moreno's antics. "And that's getting you money, how?"

Moreno shrugged. "How's strength supposed to get you money?" He countered.

I watched Moreno tuck the bra away. "I'll...be able to beat those merchant sailors up when they catch me trying to rob their ships. I won't get whipped again. I'll be able to beat the crap out of them, take their gold and escape." A cocky smirk formed on my face.

Moreno gave me a skeptical look. "So you're telling me that you've not only become a _ladrone_ you're a violent _ladrone_ now? Do you intend to _kill_ a merchant for a bag of gold coins?"

Amano was giving me a fretful look. "Machete..."

I sighed. "...no." I ruffled my hair in an exasperated fashion with my two hands. "I'm just sick of getting whipped...those cowardly bastards..."

"Machete...I think you're forgetting something kinda important." Amano began. "You're the bad guy in this scenario. The merchants made their money honestly, through trade, and you're the thief who is trying to steal their silver or gold for having done nothing. Being a thief isn't a real job, you know. When they catch you and punish you...they're in the right. You're lucky they haven't decided to seriously hurt you or kill you yet..."

"I'm the bad guy?" I blinked and scratched my head thoughtfully. I had never really thought of it like that. "I guess you're right but...it's hard for me to think of these asshole merchants as 'good guys'. They come to our little island to resupply and sleep with our men and women and then leave. They use the DR and the _dominicans_ for their own pleasure. Like a handkerchief they use us and throw us away. And the way that those merchants have treated my mother makes my blood boil..." I clenched my fists at the thought.

"But being a _ladrone_ is so dangerous. You could get hurt." Amano wrung his hands together as he looked at me intently. "I think you should give up being a _ladrone_ and be a Sanky Panky like me. You'd get to sleep with the beautiful _gringa_ merchant daughters and get paid for it. These girls like a little café in their _leche_."

I chuckled in amusement, nervous laughter to hide my embarrassment. I didn't know diddlysquat about women and the idea of being a Sanky Panky terrified me. "Hahahaha, no thanks. Me? A Sanky Panky? Get real. I'm too busy with other more important things to bother with women..."

The reason I was terrified by the idea of sleeping with a woman was because I was afraid of making a woman cry – like my mother, who cried herself to sleep every night. But there was no way I'd tell the guys that. They'd think I was a real pussy.

"No _real_ man is ever too busy to not have time for a woman," Moreno declared as another cute _gringa_ walked past _los tres amigos_. Moreno waited a moment and pulled out a matching bra and panty set. Moreno brought the lingerie to his nose and breathed in deep. "Ah, the scent of a woman."

I broke out laughing. "Ahahaha! How do you do that, Moreno!" I whacked my friend hard on the back in an appreciative manner—

And Moreno was sent flying over the bar to land on the floor with a loud crash as several rum bottles and glasses were broken behind the bar.

Amano's eyes went wide in horror. "Moreno?!"

I looked down at my hand in shock. I hadn't even hit my friend that hard and yet I had sent him flying – unreal. "A method to his madness huh?" I muttered to myself thinking about The Samurai and his odd training methods. Something didn't feel right. I had a suspicion about something, but needed to confirm it.

[ONE HOUR LATER]

I snuck onboard the merchant ship that The Samurai was living on and made my way into the cargo hold. I lit a lantern and began to inspect the hold. I walked behind some crates and that's when I saw them:

A collection of Buddha statues ranging in height from two-feet to ten-feet tall.

"Ehhhh?! Huh?!" I gawked at the Buddha statues in awe. "What?! Impossible..." The Samurai had been swapping the Buddha statues daily? I walked over to the ten-foot tall Buddha statue. _There's no way I can lift this._ I thought to myself. _No way..._ I reached out, put my arms around the statue and lifted—

The statue was lifted up and off the ground easily.

"Blimey! No frickin way!" I exclaimed. I realized in that moment that my _sensei_ was no ordinary man...he was a monster.

I remember my jaw dropping at the sight of those statues. _Ehhhhh?_ It was impossible. I couldn't believe the truth that was staring me back in the face. The Samurai had been replacing the Buddha statues daily with the intent that after twenty days I would be able to carry a ten-foot tall stone statue on my back?! Something that should not have been humanly possible had become possible somehow...a miracle? A fluke? Magic?

The Samurai slipped out from the shadows of the cargo hold where he had been watching me to make his presence known. " _Sensei_ ...are you a magician?"

" _Iyee._ No." The Samurai shook his head at me. "You have gotten stronger for one reason and one reason alone – hard work. _Oskaresama._ You've worked hard, Machete."

"Hard work, huh?" I tilted my head slightly as I asked this to myself.

My training continued. For twenty days I lived, breathed and _was_ martial arts. With _aikido_ I learned how to use my opponent's strength against them, how to throw people...and Buddha statues. With _karate_ I leaned how to do impressive flying sidekicks. With _jujutsu_ I learned flexibility and moves to use on an armed opponent while being unarmed. To make my body a weapon so that I wouldn't need my machete in case it was ever lost or taken from me.

On the twentieth day...

_Sensei_ tested me and we sparred. We spared against each other using a combination of different martial art forms – _karate_ , _aikido_ and _jujutsu_. Keeping up with _sensei_ was hard. He was so fast and I felt like a turtle trying to chase after a hare.

[MACHETE VS THE SAMURAI] ROUND TWO, FIGHT!

"Come on, Machete. Hit me." The Samurai egged me on.

I was panting for breath with my hands on my knees, sweat pouring off my body. I shook my head. "It's impossible...you're too fast."

"Am I?" The Samurai raised an eyebrow at me. "Did you remember to take the weights off?"

I blinked. _Weights?_ My eyes widened. I had completely forgotten about the arm, leg and torso weights _sensei_ made me wear daily for my training. I remembered that _sensei_ had said that for my final test I would finally get to take those damned weights off...

I quickly set about the task of taking my weights off and dropped them to the ground. THUD. Sand flew up into the air from the force of the impact of my heavy weights. And then I stood to face The Samurai for the second time.

Time seemed to slow down as we spared. The Samurai's movements were slower now...or had I become faster? I watched in amazement as his fist passed by my face and I looked at it and back at The Samurai in shock – at least twice – in that mere half second. I could see it. I could follow The Samurai's movements now!

I knew that I'd be able to land a hit on The Samurai and pass this last test. I was filled with confidence and pride. A cocky smirk formed on my face and I got into a fighting stance, hands raised before me, and with my right hand I gestured for The Samurai to attack me. "Come and get it, _Professor del Diablo!_ Devil Teacher."

The Samurai – a half smile formed on his face – before he attacked. And I dodged and evaded his attacks easily. They were so slow! I saw an opening and I took it. I let my fist fly through the air and The Samurai barely dodged successfully. My nails cut the side of his face leaving a tiny scratch there.

The Samurai was expressionless as he stared back at me and suddenly unsheathed his _katana_ in one fluid motion. My eyes widened in a mixture of shock and surprise because this meant The Samurai was actually taking _me_ seriously!

Smirk still on my face, I took my machete from my belt and faced The Samurai.

He attacked first – I blocked his downward slash with my machete. Next was a sideways slash which I was also able to block. The Samurai did a feint and I nearly got my head chopped off as I bent backwards and his long _samurai_ sword swished over my body.

I stood straight. "Hey! Are you trying to kill me! ¡ _Coñio!_ Fuck!" I shouted at him.

The Samurai remained stoically silent and as he went in for the kill. I knew I had to make my move if I was going to survive and end this. The Samurai was serious. I had to find an opening. Our blades clashed. The _katana_ 's reach was longer – I knew I would need to somehow get past The Samurai's defenses with my shorter machete if I was going to end this.

_How do I get closer?_ _No pain, no game._ I decided. I recklessly charged forward, my machete raised as The Samurai rushed at me. I dodged his sword at the last second so that it sliced into the side of my arm painfully—

But I didn't retreat but kept moving forward. I was about to have my machete at The Samurai's throat. I was about to win!

However, with my newly heightened senses, fast reflexes and inhuman speed the world seemed to have slowed down all around me causing me to suddenly catch sight of something:

A baby bird had fallen out of the palm tree we were fighting next to and was about to hit the ground-

I dropped my machete and dove for the baby bird.

The Samurai's sword passed through thin air.

I was kneeling on the beach with the tiny bird cradled in the palm of my hand. I turned around and saw The Samurai with his _katana_ pointed at me and I was weaponless...

I had lost.

"I'm sorry _sensei_ ...after all you've done to teach a meat-head like me martial arts, to make me strong, I've failed you. I...lost." _I'm such an idiot._ I hung my head in shame, feeling like crap.

The Samurai remained silent as he sheathed his sword in an elegant movement. " _Iyee._ No. You passed."

I looked up in surprise and gave The Samurai a searching look. "Huh?" I know, very eloquent, right?

"I did not teach you martial arts so that you could kill people. I taught you martial arts so that you could defend yourself and protect the people you love. That machete...by your side...is not a tool to kill. It's a tool to protect people with." The Samurai informed me with a fierce look in his dark, narrow eyes.

I looked over at my fallen, sandy machete. "A tool to protect people with?" _Mother..._

The Samurai looked at the baby chick in my hand. "That's a baby macaw. They're rare. Raise it well. It belongs to you now. Once a chick falls out of a nest and is touched by human hands the mother will reject it and no longer feed it. If you do not take care of it, and feed it - it will die. Taking care of that macaw and seeing that it does not die is your final test."

I gave The Samurai a surprised look. "You want me to have a pet? Isn't that like totally wimpy..."

"I never taught you martial arts with the intention of trying to make you toss away your heart. I think teachers who do that to their students are wrong..." The Samurai had a haunted look in his eyes for a moment before he shook his head. "A true _samurai_ has a heart. Or at least I like to think so. This _katana_ ..." The Samurai put a hand to the hilt of his sword. "Is an extension of myself. It reflects my heart. As that machete is an extension of _yourself_ and reflection of _your_ heart. When highly skilled _samurai_ fight and their blades clash – their hearts can communicate and they can truly understand what lies in the other's heart. Only truly skilled warriors can do this. Remember this well for there will come a time when you will need to communicate with your enemy in order to see what truly lies in his heart."

I looked at the frail baby macaw in the palm of my hand. I smirked at it. It was frigin cute man. It was solid blue and had a tuft of yellow feathers on the very top of its head. The tuft of feathers almost resembled a little hat as if the parrot wanted to get some extra attention. "What a little Don Juan you are...that's it. I'll name you Don Juan!"

The Samurai blinked. "Don Juan?"

I grinned. "Don Juan is a legendary Spanish nobleman and philanderer. Hopefully this name will give this little parrot luck with the ladies."

The Samurai shook his head at me, a bemused expression on his face. " _Sayonara_ , Machete." The Samurai turned to go.

"Wait, old man!" I called out to him, "Why?" I had to know. "Why did you decide to waste your time on a nobody like me? Why did you decide to train me in the martial arts?"

Without turning around to face me The Samurai shrugged. "I was bored." I was surprised but I think the serious _samurai_ had just made a joke!

"I'm being serious, _sensei_. Tell me why." I grit my teeth and managed the next word with much difficulty. " _Please_."

That got The Samurai's attention and he sighed heavily. "When I first saw you you resembled an untamed beast...a wild animal...well, you still are. But there was also something else in your eyes besides your bloodlust and rage. There was a Will of Fire in your eyes. A will to never give up. When I saw you hitting that young man I knew you weren't fighting _him_. You were fighting yourself. You were fighting this place. Fate. Circumstance. Destiny. And I knew you were going to lose. But I also knew that with the right weapons you had a very good chance of winning. I wanted to give you that chance. The Will of Fire. I've only ever seen one other man with that look in his eyes. Pirate King Pride – the leader of the Seven Deadly Pirates that rule our seven seas..."

My eyes widened. I resembled a pirate? No – it couldn't be. I hated pirates...because of how my pirate father had abandoned my mother. "Pirate King Pride?" Before _sensei_ would leave I decided I had better ask him a question, which had been on my mind since I'd met the man. " _Sensei_ ...how did you get those scars on your face?" I had always been curious about this.

The Samurai turned to face me. And I was surprised when he smiled a wistful sort of smile. "You want to know how I got this scar?" He asked and rubbed his hand across his face. "It was when a _nekomata_ , or two-tailed cat demon, attacked my village...my son was put in danger and I protected him from the demon and got this scar."

I blinked. The Samurai had a son? I'm sure he was a son worthy to be proud of. Unlike me. I knew that The Samurai's old battle scar still hurt him occasionally. "Do you regret it?"

"I've never regretted my actions. What father regrets risking his life to save his son?" The Samurai walked forward and patted my head. "Machete...become a man your father can be proud of. I already know you'll make _me_ proud. _Sayonara_."

The Samurai turned around and started off. He then kept on walking and this time he did not look back. His ship left this Godforsaken island the next day and I watched from the beach as it sailed away. That morning, I discovered that _sensei_ had left me a present on the beach:

A worthy collection of stone Buddha statues. My eye twitched. From two-feet to ten-feet, each one only slightly taller, looking like the maturing of a boy into a man, or a nobody into a somebody...maybe even a warrior. A smirk tugged at my lips.

I yelled out over the water at the disappearing ship: " _Sensei_! _Professor del Diablo_! _Imbecil_! You idiot!" I mean, seriously, why couldn't he have left me a bottle of rum or something...

***

I returned home later that day to find my mother on the floor crying. I quickly ran over to her and asked her what was wrong. " _Que pasa madre?_ What's wrong Mother?"

Esperanza looked up at me, her dark eyes glistening with tears. " _Hijo miyo_ ...I'm pregnant." She then explained her current situation. Apparently, this _gringo_ merchant named Mercurius, who owned a ship called _El Dorado_ , had gotten her pregnant. The bad news was that he had no interest in the child or in supporting my mother because of her pregnancy. In fact, he had made it quite clear to her that he wanted her to somehow get rid of the child.

I wrapped my arms around my mother and pulled her close. " _Mama_ ...don't cry. Don't worry about anything anymore. I'll find an _honest_ job and work hard to support you and my new sibling."

But finding an honest job in the Dominican Republic was going to be a lot harder than it sounded and deep down I wondered if I'd really be able to manage it. The Dominican Republic had very little economy, and barely any job opportunities. The Dominican Republic's economy pretty much consisted of the business the merchants gave the Dominican Republic when they came to resupply before setting out for the next island. They would spend several days resupplying, dining and drinking at the various restaurants and taverns, and frequenting the brothels that were on the beach. But they would always leave this place in the end. The only jobs that existed for _dominicans_ were: fishermen, farmer, waiter, waitress, _ladrone_ , _prostituta,_ or _Sanky Panky_.

_Dominicans_ were exotically beautiful island people with _mulatto_ features – they tended to have tanned skin, straight black hair and killer figures. The women had nice curves and the men were usually muscular. This made it easy for the _dominicans_ to sell themselves to the merchants. The merchants that came here were almost always fat and ugly. Though their daughters tended to be naïve and pretty with a thing for darker skinned men.

My mother Esperanza was rumored to be the most beautiful woman in Cabarete Village. I was told that when my pirate father first laid eyes on her it was love at first sight and that she mutually fell in love with him at first sight. My father was said to have been a _gringo_ with handsomely rugged features.

However, my mother had an arranged marriage planned so that she could marry a rich merchant. Esperanza's mother and father knew that this would be the best union for her because the merchant was well off. ' _A love that is not based in reality will only become poison_ ' is what they said to her when she said that she was in love.

But my mother was determined _not_ to marry for money but to marry for _love_ and so she eloped with my pirate father. She was disowned immediately, and forced to move out of her home. My pirate father set up a house for her in the outskirts of Cabarete Village. At first, I suppose, they were probably happy. They were in love, after all. My mother quickly became pregnant and had my older brother Santiago and then one year later she had me. But then on the voyage that my pirate father had claimed would be his 'final score' he never returned.

My mother was left alone to raise two kids all on her own. It didn't take long for the money my pirate father had left her to run out and we were forced to vacate the small house we had been renting and move to a ratty shack in a _barrio_ called _Callejon de los Lomas_. My mother tried to get a job as a waitress at one of the restaurants on the beach, but my mother had always been delicate and clumsy. She wasn't cut out for physical labor and was soon fired.

My mother didn't give up though and tried searching for work at some of the other beach bars. However, she was fired again and again. The DR is such a small island that it didn't take long before my mother had tried working for every one of the beach bars that existed in Cabarete Village. At that point she had become labeled as being useless, a black sheep and unlucky.

The _dominican_ children were even cruel enough to make up a song about my mother, which they would sing in the streets before throwing rocks at her as she passed them by:

Pobre pobre Esperanza

Ella nunca consequira trabajo

Ella va a ir al carajo

Pobre pobre Esperanza

Ella no tiene ningun suerte

Ella no se levanta ni un pie

Pobre pobre Esperanza

Ella es un oveja negra

Vamos a tirarla un piedra

Pobre pobre Esperanza!

I remember my mother's hands being covered in bandages during that time, from the glasses she broke at the restaurants and had to clean up. She tried so hard, but this was the DR. My brother and I were starving, and my mother had no money. She had no real skills, no job and the only thing she had left was: her beauty. Like a lot of the island woman my mother was exotic with tanned skin, a curvy figure and long, thick, wavy black hair. She was unique in that she had large eyes, a long nose and full pouty lips.

My beautiful, kind, pure-hearted mother became a prostitute, who would sell her body to fat, rich, _gringo_ merchants. Most _dominican_ prostitutes harbored hopes that they would convince one of their clients to marry them but my mother was 'damaged goods' and had the burden of two kids. My mother became a prostitute and the bandages on her hands disappeared, but I remember laying awake in bed at night and listening to my mother crying herself to sleep.

"A woman can't give her body to a man and not end up falling a little in love with him." My mother confided to me one day with a painful expression on her face. "The body is the temple of the soul. When you have sex with someone not only your bodies are uniting but your souls as well. If there is no love behind the sex then your soul can be hurt. The _gringo_ merchants...even after they've left me far behind...I still feel something for them in my heart. Machete...please keep this in mind when you have sex with women. Women are different than men. We can pretend to be like men, and pretend that we don't get attached, but it's all a lie, an act. Please only have sex with a woman you love. Please promise me this, Machete. Then you and the person you are with won't get hurt."

I reluctantly promised my mother this, not really knowing if I could keep this promise or not, but deciding I would do my best.

Back to the present...

My mother gave me a watery smile. "Baby sister? How do you know the child is going to be a girl?"

My brother Santiago looked up from his philosophy book entitled _The Book of Secrets: 112 Meditations to Discover the Mystery Within_ by OSHO and rolled his eyes.

"I just know." I said mysteriously. I had always wanted a cute little sister. Go ahead and think that's weird if you want to. "It must be boring in this house with just us boys, Mom. You'll be happier when you have my baby sister to keep you company. You can do feminine hobbies and activities together."

A spark came to life in my mother's eyes. One that I hadn't seen in a very long time. Hope. "Yes, that would be nice."

Posthaste, I tried to get an honest job and managed to get work as a bartender at the José O'Shay's Irish Beach Pub. I learned how to mix fancy, over-priced drinks that the merchants, their wives, daughters, and crewmembers liked to drink. Drinks with names like: Bailey's Banana Mama, Coco Loco, Sex on the Beach, and Bushwhacker. I worked at the José O'Shay's Irish Beach Pub for seven months and for once earned an honest living.

I was excited about the coming birth of my baby sister. I even dared to go out to a furniture store and purchase a crib for her as well as a pair of pink booties. The store clerk's face was priceless as I purchased those tiny pink booties since I must have looked like a total juvenile delinquent at the time – I had shaggy, unkempt hair, rarely wore a shirt or shoes since it was too freaking hot, and was usually covered in scrapes and bruises because of the constant fights I got into.

Around this same time I was also raising my baby parrot Don Juan. The bird had gotten big and usually sat on my shoulder going with me everywhere. I had already taught it to say a few things and we could often be seen together as I strolled around Cabarete Village with Don Juan squawking: 'Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it on!' loudly at tough looking _dominicans_ that I would usually end up fighting later on in betting fights.

However, during my eighth month of working at José O'Shay's...

God, how could you be so cruel?

That night when I got back home from work my mother's water broke. My brother and I rushed her to Cabarete Hospital. We didn't have any money but luckily we knew the doctor – Dr. Julian - and once we explained our current predicament to him he immediately said that he would gladly assist my mother to deliver the child free of cost. Dr. Julian was a very kind man, and he had been treating my mother for her weak heart condition for years. Even after we had run out of money he had continued to give Esperanza her heart medication when he was able to afford to.

After several agonizing hours the baby was born. But instead of the cry of a baby filling the hospital room that my mother was in the only sound that was heard was a wail of despair that my mother made when she discovered that her child had been stillborn. I ran into the hospital room and looked at the baby girl in my mother's arms. She was a pretty, pale, little thing with dark hair and long eyelashes. Cradled in my mother's arms like that she looked as though she could wake at any moment. But I knew this illusion was a lie. Dr. Julian had a hell of a time taking that baby girl away from my mother.

_Why God, why?_ My mother had wanted that baby girl so badly and yet God had decided to take her away. I had also been looking forward to having a new baby sister. But our dream of having a happy family, united by our baby sister, didn't come true. She was going to be our hope and just like that our only hope was dashed.

The light that I had been so happy to see in my mother's eyes went out. My baby sister was already one of God's angels in heaven. _Why God did you have to take her away from us so soon? How could you be so selfish God? My mother needed her...why you bastard! Hijo de puta!_ I was glad my mother couldn't hear me cussing out God – she probably would have had a heart attack.

My brother Santiago and my mother embraced and cried for a very long time. I stood there and watched them and didn't cry. Outwardly.

That was the day I decided to become an atheist.

### Chapter 2: That's the finest pirate booty I've ever laid eyes on

A few months later, I was working at José O'Shay's at the bar and getting piss drunk as I tried to forget about what had happened to my baby sister. Rule Number One if you want to be a good bartender – Don't Drink. _Screw it!_ I thought as I poured myself a shot of rum and downed it in one gulp. "Ah!"

Amano and Moreno were at the bar keeping me company and they exchanged a worried look. "Machete, should you really be drinking so much? You're working right now..." Amano began tentatively.

"Screw it. I don't give a damn." I slurred as I poured myself another shot of rum and gulped it down. Some people cried to relieve their grief – I got drunk. This is just the way I deal with my grief so cut me some slack.

" _Hermano_ , bro, I know you're in pain but I think you've had enough." Moreno was saying as he made a grab for my rum bottle.

The fastest hands in the Dominican Republic missed. I moved my bottle swiftly to the side and gawked at Moreno. _That asshole...just tried to steal my rum!_ Didn't he realize I just wanted to forget? That I wanted this pain in my heart to disappear? How much did my poor mother have to suffer in this world because of her wayward sons before God was satisfied? It was partly my fault Mom had it so rough. If she didn't have us she could have married some rich merchant. She could have been happy. She could have lived a pampered life and worn beautiful silk dresses. She could have lived life smiling instead of crying...

As Moreno and I struggled with the rum bottle Mercurius and his crew entered the bar. My eyes were immediately drawn to him. _Mercurius!?_ This was the bastard merchant who had gotten my mother pregnant! I still couldn't believe my mother had chosen him as her client in the first place. Mercurius was an old man, at least over sixty. He was fat, unattractive, had a round, pink, pig-like face, and a balding head. He wore a lot of flashy gold jewelry consisting of a thick gold chain around his neck, a matching gold bracelet, and I could see the gold chain of a pocket watch that was in his vest pocket. Mercurius liked to flash his wealth around since it made him feel like a big shot. "Mercurius...that bastard. What's he doing here?" _There's nothing to be celebrating tonight._ I grit my teeth. _Perverted old man...at his age instead of sleeping with whores he should be meditating and trying to find enlightenment. I'm surprised he can still get it up! He probably had to drink a whole lot of Mama Juana..._

_Mama Juana_ – a drink concocted in the Dominican Republic by allowing rum, red wine and honey to soak in a bottle with tree bark and herbs. The taste is similar to port wine and the color ranges from honey-colored to deep red. Mama Juana is rumored to be an aphrodisiac and many _dominicans_ claim that it works. It is also said to have medicinal properties.

Moreno was able to easily take the rum bottle away from me since the arrival of Mercurius and his men had distracted me. Moreno and Amano exchanged a worried look. They both knew my hot-blooded temper well—

Uh oh.

They were right to be worried. To my credit I _tried_ to remain calm. I went over to Mercurius and his crew to take their orders. "May I take your order, Sir?" I asked him.

Mercurius looked up from the drink menu. "Bushwhacker."

I nodded. "Right away, Sir." I mixed Mercurius his fancy, strong, tropical drink that had at least five different kinds of alcohol in it and even put a fuckin pink umbrella in it. "Here's your drink, _Sir_." I said as I set the drink down before him, grinding my teeth.

Mercurius raised an eyebrow at my hostile attitude, shrugged and drank. His crew ordered various drinks, which I prepared, skillfully. Even Mercurius was impressed by my bartending skills. I caught him watching me like a hawk. "Hmm you're pretty good at mixing drinks, kid. What's your name?" He asked me swirling his drink thoughtfully.

"Machete." I informed him.

"Machete?" Mercurius raised an eyebrow at that before he began to laugh – a loud guffawing laughter. "You're pulling my leg, aren't you, lad? What mother in their right mind would name their kid Machete?"

Before I realized what I was doing I had slammed both of my hands on the bar top with a loud _bam!_ "My mother...is not crazy." I said, a fierce gleam in my eyes. This was kinda a 'sensitive subject' you see...

Mercurius gulped. "I didn't say she was, kid..." Mercurius looked at my face as if seeing something familiar there. "Lad...are you...?"

"Mercurius," One of his crewmen decided to interrupt us, "Whatever happened to that _puta_ of yours? Wasn't she pregnant?"

Mercurius sighed and began to mop his glistening pig face with a handkerchief. Fat _gringo_ merchants always seemed to perspire like the dickens when they came to the DR. "Aye...it was a close call. I was about to have _another_ bastard child. But luckily the child was stillborn."

The crewman's expression fell. "Stillborn? I'm sorry."

Mercurius gave his crewman a surprised look and waved his hand dismissively. "Don't be! It's a blessing!" He ran his hands over his balding scalp trying to use the hair on the sides of his head to cover the bald spot on top.

I was already trembling with rage at this point at Mercurius' careless words.

"I wonder if hitting her stomach so that she'd have a miscarriage actually worked?" Mercurius mused aloud, and an evil smile stretched across his ugly face.

I reached out and grabbed Mercurius by the front of his white, button-down shirt and brought him nose to nose with me. A blind rage was overtaking me. I was incredibly angry. "What did you just say, you bastard?"

Mercurius was giving me a fearful look. He swallowed and looked about ready to piss in his pants. "Er...what? What did I say?"

"You said you hit your _puta_ in the stomach so that she'd have a miscarriage. What was this woman's name?" I demanded. Though I already knew the truth.

"I...I don't remember..." Mercurius immediately became evasive and averted his eyes.

"Tell me!" I demanded as I shook him violently.

"Alright already! Please just stop! Her name was...E-E-Esperanza!" Mercurius burst out giving me a terrified look.

I punched Mercurius hard across the face and with such force that I knocked out a few of his teeth (some of them gold) with that one blow. He flew back out of his chair and landed on the floor-

But I wasn't done with that bastard yet so I put one hand on the bar counter before I propelled myself over the bar to land on the floor in front of the fallen Mercurius. I cracked my neck from side to side, and my knuckles next, menacingly, as I approached him. I was planning on beating the shit out of him for what he did to my mother. _Man, I'm so going to enjoy this._

The pig-faced merchant scrambled backwards across the floor, this pathetic, fearful look in his eyes and he finally pissed his pants. I wonder what I must have looked like to evoke such a strong reaction from him – a demon maybe? I sure hoped so.

Moreno and Amano leapt out of their chairs and approached me. The idiots probably thought they'd stop me from doing something stupid, but I sent them both a glare and they cowered back. Nothing could stop me now.

"M-m-men! Get him! Protect me! Don't forget why I pay you!" Mercurius cried out, his voice quivering.

His crew seemed to snap out of the stunned stupor they had fallen into due to this strange turn of events and they hurriedly leapt out of their chairs. Apparently, about half of the patrons that had been seated in José O'Shay's that night were a part of the _El Dorado_ 's crew. Uh oh.

"Come on Sir! Hurry!" Two crewmen began to help Mercurius out of the bar.

"And where do you think you're going?" I growled as I stalked after them – then had to stop as someone aimed a bottle of rum at my head. _Shit._ I turned and spotted the merchant with the bottle of rum in his hand and stalked towards him instead. I swiftly punched him across the face. Chaos ensued as Mercurius' crew tried to attack me all at once.

[BAR BRAWLLLL]

"Ahhh!" Another merchant crewman ran at me with an upraised chair. I let my fist fly forward at the chair and it shattered on impact. The man staggered backwards in shock. I picked up a chair leg and stalked forward with it, holding it like a club. The man cowered back. I swung the chair leg at him and he raised his forearms to block the blow. There was a sickening _crack_. I had broken his arm. I was surprised by this – it was like I didn't know my own strength any more or did everyone suddenly become super weak?

Mercurius' crew had all taken a step away from me at this point.

"What are you fools doing?!" Mercurius spat, his spit flying through the air. "Hurry up and kill him! He's just one man!" Mercurious yelled and his face was beginning to turn bright red.

"I didn't sign up for this shit..." "He's freakin' strong..." "He's a monster!" "I'm not getting paid enough for this." "Yea! We need more gold!" "You need to pay us more if you expect us to risk our lives fighting that monster!" Mercurius' crew roared in unison, demanding more money if they were to fight me.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Mercurius declared as he emptied his purse of gold coins onto the floor. "There!"

"Still not enough." One of the crewmen declared, his arms crossed over his chest.

Mercurius glared at him but obliged the man by taking off his gold necklace, gold bracelet and even his gold pocket watch to add to the pile of gold on the floor. "There, happy now? Now get him!" Mercurius spat.

The crewmen looked at each other, nodded, and began to come towards me again. I tried to get past them as two other crewmen began to escort Mercurius out the exit. _Shit. He's getting away!_ "Damn bastards, get out of my way!" I yelled as I swung my fist and took two guys down with one blow.

To my surprise Amano and Moreno had joined the fray. Moreno was no pushover and could throw a solid right hook. It probably helped that Moreno and I got into fights a lot and therefore he had to learn how to survive my killer punches. Amano was backing Moreno up. As soon as a merchant sailor had his back turned Amano would whack him over the head with a rum bottle – effectively knocking him out cold. Dirty yes, effective yes.

The bar fight felt surreal to me. Time seemed to slow down all around me and the movements of the crewmen slowed to a snail's pace. They attacked me all at once but I easily dodged and evaded their punches. When I retaliated one punch would send them flying backwards in a group. I lifted one pathetic crewman up off the ground and tossed him at a group of five sailors. They were all knocked back to the floor like bowling pins. I looked at my hands in awe. I hadn't known I possessed such strength. _Thanks sensei..._

I punched another crewman and he glared at me angrily as he staggered backwards, "Filthy _dominican_! _Mulatto_ scum! Son of a whore! I'll rid the world of your ilk!" He took out a revolver and aimed for my head.

_Crap._ If it's one thing The Samurai forgot to teach me it was how to dodge bullets. I was _so_ screwed.

The crewman pulled back on the hammer of his pistol and it made an ominous clicking sound. It was this sound that put all of the crewmen of the _El Dorado_ on immediate alert and caused them to all simultaneously whip out their own pistols until the entire crew had their pistols cocked and aimed at Amano, Moreno and myself. The sailor then began to pull down on the trigger and I knew I was a goner. However-

"Huh?" The crewman looked down at his revolver in confusion when it didn't fire. The crewman checked the muzzle of his pistol to discover that there was no bullet. "No bullet...?"

All of the other crewmen began checking their pistols with similar results: "No bullets!" "My bullets are gone!" "Shit! Where are the bullets?"

I let out a sigh of relief. _Safe._ I punched the sailor across the face sending him flying.

Moreno was sneaking towards the exit when one of the guys I punched knocked into him. As Moreno stumbled forward there was a strange _clinking_ sound as something metal hit the floor. It was similar to the sound a coin makes when you drop it. Moreno turned around and I noticed that he was holding dozens of bullets in the cradle of his two arms. Ah, so Moreno was the culprit. I smirked. He had stolen everyone's bullets, rendering their pistols useless. _Fucking awesome man._

Unfortunately, Moreno had managed to draw the attention of all of the crewmen who spotted him and their stolen bullets in his arms. "The bullets!" "Get him!" "Give me back my bullets, _ladrone_!"

"Ack!" Moreno ran for it. Bullets fell out of his arms and out of his clothing as he went. "Crap! I'm outta here."

"Hey! Wait for me!" Amano called after him.

"Move it or lose it, Machete!" Moreno called over his shoulder at me.

My fight wasn't really with these losers to begin with and so I decided to hightail it outta there with Moreno and Amano. We ran down the beach together. Moreno's arms were still full of bullets and I couldn't help but start to laugh. Moreno began to laugh along with me and then Amano was joining in.

_These guys...are the best._ I remember thinking to myself. _A man couldn't ask for better friends. They really had my back._

We ran until our legs were burning and we were panting for breath. No one was following us though so we decided to stop.

"I guess I'll have to look for a new job tomorrow." I began thoughtfully and shrugged. "I really didn't want to limit my potential by working there anyways." I joked. "I've been thinking about opening my horizons...I really need to make it big. And I was getting paid nothing but chump change at that job anyways."

"You completely destroyed that bar." Amano deadpanned.

Moreno just burst out laughing loudly.

"Hey guys," I began, feeling awkward. "Thanks for watching my back." I scratched my cheek in an embarrassed gesture.

Moreno's eyes widened. "You're actually _thanking_ us? Whoa – did a pig just fly by...what's gotten into you? It's really not like you to be so... _nice_. It's kinda creepy Machete. You know as well as I do that you didn't really need our help back there. You were kicking some serious ass."

Amano was giving me a starry-eyed look. "Yea...since when did you get so strong Machete? You sent those guys flying. That was really amazing! That _samurai_ was a miracle worker after all. _Eso fue incredible! Estupendo! Un milagro de Dios!_ "

"Yea..." I stared down at my hands again. _And I didn't even need to use my machete..._ I put a hand on the handle of my machete.

' _Are you really going to kill a merchant for a bag of gold?'_ Moreno's words.

'A machete is a tool to protect people with...' _The Samurai's words._

I removed my hand from my machete, thoughtful. I took Don Juan off my shoulder and put him on Moreno's shoulder. "Hey, look after Don Juan for me. There's...something I need to go do." I ran off down the beach.

"Hey! Machete! Wait!" Moreno called after me.

I ignored him. I made my way to Cabarete Harbor and spotted Mercurius' ship, the _El Dorado_. Mercurius...I needed to settle things with him. I wasn't sure why my feet had taken me there. Did I plan to kill Mercurius? Or did I plan to rob him...to at least exact some kind of revenge upon him for what he did to my mother? Could I really kill a man? Right then with all the anger I was feeling – I felt like I could. To kill the man responsible for the death of my baby sister would probably be easy.

I snuck onboard the _El Dorado_ and made my way to the Captain's quarters. I took out a lock pick and picked the lock to the door and snuck inside of Mercurius' room. A loud snoring filled the room. Mercurius was already sound asleep – that bastard. He had this carefree, drunken expression on his bandaged face.

I spotted a large wooden chest that just screamed: 'I have gold and riches inside of me!' and made my way over to it. I took out my lock pick again and began to pick at the large lock. After only a few seconds there was a familiar _click_ and the lock opened. I lifted the lid of the chest open and peered inside. The chest was filled with gold, more gold coins than I had ever laid eyes upon before. Mercurius really was rich. And he hadn't wanted to give my mother anything. Stingy _tacaño_ bastard.

I picked up a handful of coins and was about to put the gold in my pocket but...I felt empty. Unsatisfied. Was this really enough vengeance for my mother? Was I really just being a coward? _I should at least get that bastard to apologize for his actions._ I decided. _Yea, let him beg me for forgiveness and then maybe I'll be merciful and decide not to slit his frog throat._

I tossed the gold coins back inside the chest and softly closed the lid. I stood up and took my machete out of my belt and approached the bed where Mercurius was still sleeping. I looked at the old man's pudgy face and brought my machete closer to his neck. He was still fast asleep...I could just slit his throat. I was surprised by my own bloodthirsty thoughts.

However, before I could make up my mind about whether or not to kill Mercurius several crewmen suddenly emerged from their hiding places in the room's closets with loaded pistols raised and aimed at me.

Mercurius opened his eyes and stared back at me. He smiled revealing the gaps in his teeth. "Shoot him." Mercurius issued the command.

"Aye aye Captain!" A shot rang out and a pain unlike anything I had ever experienced before exploded in my shoulder. I dropped my machete. I could hear it clattering on the deck but the sound seemed to come from far away.

"Seize him!" I heard Mercurius' guttural order.

I felt hands on my arms and then I knew no more.

***

I woke up to a bucket of ice-cold water being tossed in my face to discover that the innocent looking merchant ship the _El Dorado_ had a brig. Go figure. I was handcuffed and suspended from the ceiling by thick metal chains. I looked up to see that a large metal ring had been embedded into the ceiling and that I was dangling from this contraption. My machete was missing as well as my shirt. I sighed. I was about to get whipped, again, by some heavy-handed seaman no doubt. _Man, my life sucks. Fuckkkk..._

My shoulder hurt. My vision was swimming before me and I had to blink a couple of times before I could see Mercurius and three of his crewmen in the brig with me. One of the crewmates had a bucket in his hand. Ah, so he was the asshole who had splashed me awake. Bastard. I decided to make a mental note. But it was getting to be troublesome staying awake. Asleep I couldn't feel the pain of my gunshot wound...

Mercurius' creepy frog smile filled my visage and I spotted the long leather whip in his hand. It was a cat-o'-nine-tails with nine knotted cords. _Sadistic bastard._ I thought.

"Back with us, I see, lad." Mercurius approached me and grabbed my chin with his slimy, pudgy hand. Lazy assholes were always sweating bullets and short of breath. It was disgusting. Mercurius sweat like a pig and smelled just as foul. His breath was worse and I wished he wouldn't get so close. I was about to lose my dinner. His touch sickened me.

I stared back at him passively though. "Don't touch me, _pig_."

Mercurius frowned and backhanded me swiftly across the face. I tasted blood in my mouth and could feel blood trickling down the corner of my chin. I ran my tongue over my teeth to make sure he hadn't knocked anything loose. I couldn't afford gold teeth. Naw, my teeth were just fine. Mercurius was seriously weak. That hit had been like a love pat compared to one of _sensei_ 's hits. I chuckled despite the situation I was in. It's not like it could get any worse...

Or at least that's what I thought.

"So God-damned weak..." I muttered.

"What was that, lad?" Mercurius spit in my face.

"I said...you're weak." I repeated myself more loudly. "You hit like a girl, perverted old man." I drawled.

Mercurius' face was beginning to turn red with anger. "How dare you! I don't think you realize the situation you're in, lad! You should be begging me for mercy."

"Like it would do any good," I sneered.

Mercurius laughed at that. "Good point. You're not so stupid after all, lad. I knew you looked familiar when I first saw you at the bar. You're Esperanza's son right? No wonder you're angry with me. But the child's death was not my fault."

I glared back at Mercurius. "You said you hit my mother."

"I did." Mercurius acknowledged. "I wanted to cause a miscarriage. But I failed. Your mother still tried to give birth to that bastard of mine regardless of my wishes. But the child was born dead. Do you know what that means lad?"

"..." I remained silent.

"It means the baby suffocated with its umbilical chord wrapped around its neck as it tried to come out into this world." Mercurius shook his head. "That child was cursed even before it came into this world..."

" _Her_ neck." I automatically corrected him.

Mercurius raised an eyebrow at that. "Her neck then. Your mother was so close to having that child, despite my wishes and yet she failed. If it's anyone's fault it's your mother's, boy. That woman is cursed..."

"No..." I shook my head. "It's not my mother's fault. It's God's!"

"God? You dare to blaspheme against him?" Mercurius' eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "He may smite you down where you stand, lad!"

"I'm not afraid of God..." I said, as I stared back at Mercurius unflinchingly.

"The Devil then?" Mercurius asked me curiously.

"I'm not afraid of anything..." _Except perhaps a woman's tears._ But I wasn't about to tell Mercurius that.

"You should be afraid...of me. I'm going to put the fear in you, lad. You need to learn your place. You're nothing but the son of a whore after all. And a thief. This is only what scum like you deserves." Mercurius raised his whip and brought it down upon my back.

It hurt. Like hell. But I'd had worse done to me before. I had grown accustomed to pain. "My mother is not a whore." I managed to grit out.

"Yes – she – is." The lash fell three more times.

"No," I spat, "She's not. My mother is a beautiful angel and you're an ugly fat ass with a face like a frog who should be giving thanks to God that my mother slept with you!"

Mercurius' eyes narrowed to slits. "Now you've made me angry lad...that was quite foolish." Mercurius raised the whip and let the lash fall. Ten times. Twenty times. Thirty times. The lash fell until Mercurius was panting and wheezing for breath, his ugly face a bright red with sweat pouring off his body by the bucket.

The skin on my back had already ripped open and I could feel the warm, wet blood running down my flesh.

Mercurius looked ridiculous, so I laughed at him. "Done already? I can take more. God knows you need a work out, fat ass." I egged him on.

Mercurius glared at me even as he panted and wheezed for breath. "Stop...calling me...that, lad."

"What?" I gave Mercurious an innocent look. "Fat ass?" I drawled mockingly.

Mercurius gnashed his teeth. "I wouldn't make me any angrier if I were you. I may just decide to kill you and be done with it. There's no telling what I'm capable of..." Mercurius was beginning to shake with pent up rage.

"Pfft." I snorted. "I'm _so_ scared." I said sarcastically. I was acting like an immature brat and knew it. I was stupid. And I paid the price.

Mercurius grabbed my chin. "Your eyes...they resemble your mother's. So beautiful. If you had been born a woman I'm sure you would have been very attractive."

"Yea, well, I'm no woman, fat ass." I didn't really get where he was going with this...

"You sure about that? You have really long eyelashes...like a girl's. Maybe I should check and see if you really have a dick..." Mercurius suggested, before he tossed the whip aside and began to undo my pants.

My eyes widened in disgust. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, you perverted old man!?"

Mercurius yanked my pants down to my ankles, leaving me exposed before him.

Mercurius looked at my flaccid member thoughtfully. "So you are a man after all. I've never touched a man before. I wonder what it feels like."

_Fuck! Oh hell no!_ I began to panic as Mercurius approached me and I struggled in the chains. I looked up. I could see the metal ring moving slightly. I yanked and pulled at the ring and could see it slowly beginning to loosen with each frantic movement that I made. _Chance!_

I pulled down upon the chains with all my strength. I watched as the metal loop that was attached to a metal spike began to emerge out of the ceiling one inch at a time as I continued to pull on it. I wondered how long that metal spike was as dust began to sprinkle down on my face.

Mercurius didn't appear to be too concerned by my escape attempt however. "I've never fucked a boy before. I'm suddenly curious about what it would feel like." I guess he was too distracted by his perverted thoughts. Mercurius approached me from behind and grabbed my ass – spreading my ass cheeks.

"Get your hands off me, you foul fat ass! _Hijo de puta!_ " I yelled as I yanked and pulled desperately at the metal ring.

Mercurius was fumbling with the front of his pants-

"Fuck no!" I yelled and pulled down on the metal ring again but with all my strength – the metal ring, the chains, and part of the ceiling came crashing down upon me.

Mercurius fell backwards in shock and I moved to avoid the falling piece of ceiling. I then turned to face Mercurius, who was pushing himself up off the floor on shaky limbs. My body seemed to be moving on its own. I approached Mercurius and tossed the chain that was still attached to my manacles around his neck and made a lasso out of it before I pulled back-

As Mercurius began to choke he brought his hands up in a futile gesture to loosen the chain from around his neck-

I pulled on the chain, tighter, until Mercurius' breathed his last breath. I remember his final death tremors vibrating the chains clearly. I removed the chain from Mercurius' neck and his body fell over onto the floor where it remained unmoving and looking like a beached whale. The man was still ugly and foul, even dead.

I was trembling. I had just killed a man for the very first time. _That pervert deserved to die. Right?_ I thought but even so I felt sick. I had to get out of there...! I grabbed my pants and quickly put them back on. I noticed my machete on the floor of the brig and wondered how it had gotten there. I picked it up and stuck it back into my belt. I upchucked a lock pick and used it to pick the locks on my manacles. Once freed, I picked the lock on the brig door next and left Mercurius locked within the cell. He probably had keys on his body but I didn't want to touch him. I began to sneak off the _El Dorado_ with my shoulder throbbing painfully from my untreated gunshot wound. I managed to make it all the way to the fore deck before I was finally spotted.

"The prisoner has escaped!" "He killed Mercurius!" "The Captain is dead!" "Shoot the prisoner!" The crewmen began to shout. The crew of the _El Dorado_ began to pour out of the woodwork, armed with pistols. _Shit!_ Pistols that were quickly being aimed at my head. I had nowhere to run, no place to go, except...

I ran to the starboard side of the ship, hopped up onto the railing, and jumped off and into the sea.

"He jumped!" "Shoot him! Quickly! Don't let him escape!" I could hear the sailors yelling frantically to each other. The crewmen rushed to the side of the ship and began to shoot down at the water and at me. I swam down deeper to try and evade their bullets. But a few still painfully grazed my arms and legs and one grazed my head painfully enough that I wondered if I'd been shot in the head.

Through the haze of pain I kept on swimming, deeper and deeper into the pitch-black water, thinking I should somehow head to shore. Moreno and Amano would be there waiting for me. They would help me. But then the dark water seemed to close in all around me and I passed out.

***

Someone was singing. I figured I was probably dead and it was the singing voice of an angel. Maybe my baby sister. My heart clenched at the thought. You know, how they always say heaven has these pearly white gates and beautiful, _golden_ haired angels?

Well, my angel had coppery-orange colored hair as bright as a tangerine.

I groaned and opened my eyes. My head and shoulder and black all ached and burned and throbbed with pain. A very _real_ acute pain. I was still alive. I wondered why I didn't feel happy at that realization. I turned my head to see a beautiful, _naked_ girl kneeling by my side and singing...

_Huh? I'm so dreaming and this is one hell of a dream...it's so...realistic._ I thought to myself as I gazed upon the young woman unabashedly. Hey, it was _my_ wet dream after all.

The young woman was so immersed in her singing that she hadn't noticed that I'd woken up yet. She had her eyes closed and was just belting it out.

... _An angel?_

I looked at her breasts next. What? I was a healthy young man. I had never seen a woman's naked breasts before and I wondered how I had managed to dream up something I had never seen before. The thought made my head hurt even more. They were very realistic and soft looking. Her breasts were perfectly round but my view of them was slightly blocked by the cascade of her long, wavy, coppery-colored hair. I frowned. I wanted to see her breasts better and thought of moving her hair aside.

Her breasts looked so soft, inviting and comforting. I decided to test out my theory and reached out to touch one of the young woman's breasts. I cupped and squeezed the young woman's right breast gently. Ah, it really _was_ soft...

The young woman's eyes flew open in astonishment to reveal that they were a startling teal blue color. The color of the deep sea. I watched in fascination as the young woman's face turned pink and then she raised her hand before slapping me hard across the face. _WHACK!_ My head snapped back from the force of her blow. Gee. She could have been a bit gentler. I was an injured man after all.

"Pervert!" The young woman shouted passionately at me as she stood up and glared down at me with her hands on her hips. "I shouldn't have bothered saving the likes of you! I hope you die, you filthy pirate!" She finished before running towards the ocean and giving me a nice view of her shapely rear end.

I could only gawk after her in shock. I was still thinking that this was all a dream and I was wondering what that Tangerine Girl could possibly be thinking to go for a swim in the middle of the night. Did she want me to go skinny-dipping with her? A dopey grin formed on my face at the thought. But the young woman dove into the water like an expert swimmer, cutting through the water like a knife and didn't resurface. After a few seconds I was beginning to grow concerned for the young woman's safety. But then-

I saw what at first I thought was a dolphin leaping up out and out of the ocean playfully. The full moon that was overhead illuminated the creature to reveal that it was the Tangerine girl who happened to have a long fishtail that was covered in shimmering green, blue and pink scales. She dove back down into the water and was gone.

The Tangerine girl had been a mermaid.

My jaw dropped and I grabbed my cheek and pulled. "OW!" I guess I wasn't dreaming. "No frickin way...a real mermaid." Well, this was the Golden Age of Pirates: pirates ruled the seas, fought against the Sea Forces, and there were loads of pirate stories and legends. And of course some of those stories that were brought to The Dominican Republic were about mermaids. Usually the tales were about mermaids who rescued shipwrecked sailors and fell in love with them. A _real_ mermaid had saved my life and I...had groped her like some sort of sick pervert and scared her away. _Nooo._ I gripped my head in despair. _I am such an idiot!_

"Machete!" I heard the voices of my two friends calling me and looked down the beach to see that they were running towards me.

I reached up to feel that my head had been bandaged and looked down to see that my shoulder had also been bandaged with long, white, strips of cloth. My shoulder still hurt but I could tell the bullet had been removed. I realized the mermaid must have treated my wounds. I looked out over the sea wondering if she would leap out of the waves again and I longed to catch sight of her beautiful tail once more.

When my friends reached my side I was still staring out at the sea with this dreamy look on my face. They probably thought I had swallowed too much seawater or something.

"Machete! Are you alright?" Amano asked me as he put a hand to my forehead, checking my temperature. I must have looked feverish.

I turned back to face my two friends before a grin broke out across my face. "Guys, you're never going to believe this!"

### Chapter 3: Yo ho! Bottle of rum?

I was walking through Cabarete Village while deep in thought. I was thinking about how Mercurius' death had left a bad taste in my mouth and how if I intended to rob another merchant ship I could end up killing someone again and that next time it might be someone who _didn't_ deserve to die...

_With great strength comes great responsibility._ The Samurai had once told me that...

I thought about how strange it was that Mercurius had been attracted to me. I shivered. Just thinking about how Mercurius had almost raped me put me on edge. It must have been because I resembled my mother, right? I didn't think I was _attractive_. _Am I attractive?_ I found myself wondering and peered at my reflection in a merchant-targeted store window.

Dark eyes like polished onyx stared back at me. My eyes were narrow and fierce, accentuated by thick, dramatic brows. They resembled the eyes of a caged beast. A wild animal. But the long lashes I had somehow made my eyes beautiful. I had tan skin, shoulder length, thick, black, wavy hair. I was wearing a simple white shirt that had seen better days, and a pair of ragged, beige britches. I was barefoot. (I also found wearing underwear just as troublesome as wearing shoes, and so wasn't wearing any that day, not that my friends needed to know that). Because of my intensive martial arts training with The Samurai my body was ripped a.k.a it had become very muscular.

I quirked my head at myself. I suppose I could be considered 'attractive'. I ruffled my hair in exasperation. I continued my way down the street and noticed some _dominican_ girls on the prowl for _gringos_.

I could always tell when the _dominican_ girls were on the prowl because they were all dolled up in their newest clothes, their hair had been straightened (yes, even in the seventeenth century women had found a way to straighten their hair), and their nails had been done. _Dominican_ girls were funny like that. They would work all week for two _reals_ a day. Get paid every fifteen days and then they'd run to get their hair and nails done...only to end up being completely broke. Then the girls would buy anything from food to clothes on credit and have to pay in installments. _Women._ I shook my head.

The way _dominican_ women merely _walked_ was very different from other women. They sashayed their hips and moved their shapely booties in such a way that it immediately drew a man's attention. The way _dominican_ girls danced was even worse. They started out moving their bodies normally, shaking them, but then they would get overly excited and end up humping the dance floor...or the guy who was (unfortunately?) standing next to them. Until it was more like people having sex but with their clothes still on. It would take a saint of a man not to get hard in that situation.

On the other hand, I had never really paid attention to the _dominican_ women before...or women in general. Just my mother. (What? So I had a serious mother complex. I'll admit it). I was always caught up in my own things...seeking strength...and lately my days were filled with my martial arts training. I didn't have time for women. At that time in my life, women were like these strange, unknown creatures from another planet. Their thoughts and actions were completely unfathomable to me.

My deduction at the time was simply this: Women were scary.

Like I said, I had never paid much attention to them before but I decided to try something out on a whim. I had never smiled at the _dominican_ women in the village before. And so, as the lovely _señoritas_ passed me by, expecting me to ignore them as usual, I stopped, turned to face them and smiled. " _Buenos dias, lindas_ señoritas _._ Good morning, beautiful ladies."

Their reaction was unexpected. The women blushed brightly, appeared to be absolutely delighted by the attention I had just given them, and then began to giggle. One of the women fainted.

"Interesting..." I thought to myself as I stroked my chin and simply walked away. I supposed I _was_ good looking after all. Maybe this was why Amano was always insisting that I should try being a Sanky Panky instead of a thief...?

_A Sanky Panky huh?_ I would find the richest merchant's daughter...seduce her...make her fall for me...and get her to give me money, which I could give to my mother. Maybe I could even get the girl to marry me.

I'd pull one over on those bastard merchants that had always enjoyed whipping the skin off my bones when they caught me stealing from their ships by seducing their virgin daughters! Finally, I would have the last laugh as the joke would be on them and not me.

This could also serve as a kind of revenge against merchants like Mercurius. _Too bad Mercurius doesn't have a daughter._ I thought. That would have been the real icing on the cake. _Oh, that's right._ I suddenly remembered with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Mercurius had had a daughter – she was dead. She had been stillborn.

Suddenly, the idea of being a Sanky Panky didn't seem so bad to me. The plan of scamming money out of the merchants by seducing their naïve daughters seemed like a win win situation. This job would also be a lot less life threatening than being a thief.

As long as I didn't make the woman cry...I would be okay.

Now, if I was going to be the best Sanky Panky in the DR – the best male lover – I needed skill...I needed to know what the hell I was doing. I needed to know how to become a _gentle_ lover, so that I wouldn't hurt the merchant's daughter. And gentleness had never really been my forte. What? Even though I sought to get revenge upon the merchants didn't mean I was a total asshole that would mistreat a woman during sex.

In other words, I needed to learn about sex. Therefore, I had to get rid of this pesky virginity of mine...

But how?

I looked around as I walked through Cabarete Village and for the first time I noticed all the attention the women were giving me. As I passed by the island women would smile, bat their eyelashes, wink, giggle – even beckon me over by crooking their fingers at me and making me notice the long, painted nails they had. The designs on their nails were so intricate. Some of the nails had mini paintings of a beach scene complete with the ocean, beach and a palm tree. Were men really supposed to find those dangerous weapons sexy? I shrugged.

_Have these poor girls been trying to get my attention all this time?_ I wondered. I kinda felt sorry for them. I wanted to say to them: 'Sorry, I'm such a meathead and an oblivious guy when it comes to women!' Apparently, I could have my pick of _any_ girl in town that I wanted to help me out with my virginity problem.

But I didn't want to sleep with a girl who wasn't a professional or who was a normal girl because I didn't want a girlfriend/lover. I just needed a teacher. My feet somehow led me to the village brothel called _La Casa del Placer_ or The House of Pleasure. I entered _La Casa del Placer_ and immediately realized I had no money. I was _un pobre vagabundo_ , a poor bum. I was about to make a U-turn back out the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder-

I turned around to see an attractive older woman. She was probably in her late thirties. Rosita was the owner of the establishment. She had long, wavy, luscious, dark hair, honey-colored skin, a curvy figure, and wide, brown eyes. She was wearing a killer red dress and a pair of high heels. My favorite color was red and I decided in that exact moment that there was something special about a woman in a pair of high-heeled shoes. She had a lit cigarette in her hand. "Where's the fire, lad?"

I gulped and turned to face the woman. "Er...I'm sorry I don't have any money..."

Rosita looked me up and down critically while taking a puff on her cigarette before breathing out a cloud of smoke in my face. "Hmmm. Did you know, that this is your lucky day, young man? Today you are this brothel's one hundredth customer and so today it's free for you." She winked.

I blinked. "Really?" _Lucky!_ I was in luck...which immediately made me wary since I was rarely in luck.

"My name is Rosita." The brothel owner introduced herself. "I am the proprietor of this establishment. The girls here are under my care. I don't usually service clients...but cute boys like you don't normally come in here."

"Rosita..." I liked the way her name rolled off my tongue. Little Rose. What did they say about beautiful women being like a rose? That even a beautiful rose had its thorns? "I'm Machete, _es un placer concocerte_. It's a pleasure to meet you." I took her hand and placed a kiss on the top of it.

Rosita raised an eyebrow at my name and her eyes were instantly drawn to the rather large machete that was strapped to my waist by nothing but a ragged strip of cloth. (So ghetto I know, but as I mentioned earlier I was dirt poor and down on my luck). "I see. That's a big sword you have there." She teased, her statement dripping with sexual innuendo.

Rosita tossed her cigarette on the floor and put it out with her high-heeled shoe. She reached out and took my hand. "This way, _muchacho_." She began to lead me to one of the back rooms.

I gulped, suddenly nervous. My mother's teary face filled my mind. Would I make Rosita cry? I didn't want to make a woman cry...or to hurt her...

Rosita led me inside one of the bedrooms and then turned around to close and lock the door behind us. I looked around the dimly lit room curiously. It was sparsely furnished with rattan and bamboo furniture. The biggest piece of furniture was the bed that was in the center of the room and that had tacky, red silk sheets on it. The floor was covered in sand and I was pretty sure the bed probably had sand fleas.

Rosita turned to face me and a cat's paw smile formed on her red lips as she sashayed towards me. I began to back away from her until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed. Rosita stood in front of me and raised both of her hands before she abruptly shoved me back onto the bed – Oof! I plopped down onto the bed and was startled when Rosita was suddenly straddling me.

I was terrified. My body was trembling. That was incredibly embarrassing. I could take down a man twice my size with one punch but this woman suddenly had me completely at her mercy.

Rosita looked down at me, and noticed my worried expression. Her own mischievous expression shifted to concern. She stroked my cheek. "What's wrong? I never thought the infamous Machete would go to a whorehouse like this. Did something happen, _muchacho_? Something that made you look for a place where you could forget?"

It was like the dam that had been keeping all my emotions broke at her kind words. I told Rosita everything. About my mother, Mercurius, and my dead baby sister. How I killed Mercurius and decided to become a Sanky Panky instead of a thief so I would be able to seduce rich merchant's daughters. And most importantly...

"That's why I came here. I need to learn how to be the Perfect Lover. I...don't know anything about sex. I...want to be a gentle lover. I don't want to hurt the women I sleep with...or make them cry." _Like Mother..._

Rosita blinked down at me in surprise. "Why do you think you'll make them cry?"

"Women are so...fragile...delicate...and I'm so strong. I'm worried I'll hurt them with these rough hands of mine." I held up my calloused hands that could easily snap a man's neck.

Rosita laughed at me however. "Women are not as fragile as you think...you won't hurt me, Machete. Relax..." Rosita leaned over and kissed me.

It was my first kiss. Her lips felt soft against my own. I did nothing. Not knowing what to do. Rosita began to move her lips over mine. This felt good so I mimicked her. I felt her tongue lick my lower lip and I pulled back, startled. _That was her tongue!_

Rosita smiled at my naiveté. "Open your mouth...don't bite down..." Rosita instructed me. I obediently did as I was told and opened my mouth slightly. Rosita kissed me again and this time she plunged her hot tongue into my mouth. "Mmph!" My eyes shot open in surprise. Rosita began to skillfully caress my tongue with her own in swirling motions. I decided to mimic her movements and caressed her tongue with my own. This earned a groan from Rosita. I grabbed the back of Rosita's head with my hand to bring her closer and kissed her passionately-

We pulled away from each other several minutes later. Both of us were short of breath. "Wow...you're a fast learner, _muchacho_." Rosita declared.

Rosita was looking disheveled, breathless and beautiful with her red-tinged cheeks. I smirked. Some kind of male pride welled up inside of me from somewhere. _I'm so the man._ I thought to myself.

Rosita lowered the straps of her dress so that her bare, naked breasts were suddenly exposed before me. They were the side of melons. I gazed at her tan-skinned breasts and her dark-brown nipples...

And couldn't help but compare her breasts to the breasts of the mermaid girl. The mermaid's breasts had been about the size of coconuts and the mermaid's skin had been a milky white, her nipples pink.

I was unconsciously reaching out to touch one of her breasts when I stopped myself remembering how the mermaid girl had slapped me for my audacious, perverted action-

But to my surprise Rosita grabbed my hand and put it flush against her breast. She smiled knowingly, "You can go ahead and touch them..."

I gulped. I squeezed her left breast slightly...her flesh was soft and supple in my calloused hand. I brought up my other hand to cup her right breast. I experimentally squeezed them both at the same time and watched Rosita's face closely to make sure I wasn't hurting her in any way. I ran my thumb over Rosita's nipple as I squeezed her left breast and Rosita gasped.

I looked at Rosita worriedly. "Are you alright? I didn't hurt you did I?"

Rosita shook her head, her eyes still closed and a rapturous look on her face. "No...do that again..."

Gaining more confidence I ran my thumbs over her nipples as I lightly squeezed her breasts. Rosita began to moan at my touch. I decided then and there that I really liked breasts. (Yep, I became a boob man that day). Breasts were fascinating...

I found myself leaning forward and capturing one of Rosita's nipples in my mouth for a kiss. Her breasts were just so...kissable. At my action Rosita clamped her legs down around my waist and moaned loudly. "Oh yes...Machete...just like that..."

Pleased with this response I took Rosita's other nipple into my mouth and kissed and sucked and licked until Rosita was writhing above me and nicely pressing her body into mine to relieve herself of some of her building desire...

Rosita couldn't take much more and pushed me back down onto the bed forcibly and captured my lips heatedly. As we kissed I playfully caressed and squeezed her breasts...

Rosita pulled back and gazed at me hungrily. "Are you hard yet?"

_Hard?_ I gave Rosita a quizzical look. Okay, so I was a little out of it.

Rosita ran her hand down my chest and put her hand over my manhood. My manhood was probably half hard at that point but as Rosita ran her hand over it through the cloth of my capris I could feel myself harden even more. I gasped at her touch...Whoa. I had never bothered to masturbate before since as I've already explained I had 'other things' occupying my mind at the time like martial arts, so I didn't have time to think about sex.

I was scared by the new sensations my body was feeling...this aching need. Building desire...it was painful and yet pleasurable at the same time. I wanted...more. I wanted to do...something. I had the sudden crazy urge to flip Rosita over on her back, spread her legs and...? Do what? I didn't know and this scared me. Would I hurt Rosita after all? "No...stop...don't..." I began to panic.

Rosita ignored my plea and plunged her hand down my pants to stroke my pulsating member with her soft, delicate hand. "Nnnghhhh...!" I was lost to the sensation, the feeling of her hand around me.

"You've gotten this big. You're ready." Rosita purred as she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down to my knees. She then began to lift herself over my hips, positioning herself over my erection.

I gave Rosita a quizzical look...? What did she intend to do? I wondered as she straddled me. She grabbed my member and began to guide it to her entrance.

My eyes widened at that. Rosita wanted to put _it_ inside _there_?! It would never fit! Rosita would break! "No...Rosita wait...I don't want to hurt you..."

"You won't." Rosita purred as she began to press her body down upon my shaft. My member slowly began to enter her...until she was sitting on top of me and I was completely inside of her. "It's all in...ah...you've filled me to the hilt..." Rosita murmured.

_All in._ I gulped. Rosita experimentally moved her hips above me and I thought I was going to die. Rosita then moved upwards so that my member left her body slightly before she moved her body back down to impale herself upon me once more. She repeated this delicious movement again and again \- moving above me and creating a wonderful friction between our two bodies, which seemed to cause the pleasure that we were both feeling began to build. Fascinating.

I had the urge to thrust upwards roughly. I wanted Rosita to move faster...I wanted to take her hard. I controlled myself instead and settled for watching this beautiful woman move above me. Her melon-sized breasts were bouncing up and down, and I reached out to squeeze them. Rosita gasped and began to ride me harder...I couldn't take it and thrust upwards. Rosita moaned and leaned over to kiss me. I could tell that something was about to happen.

"So good...you're so big...you fill me completely...ah...I'm so close...I'm going to...Ahhh!" Suddenly Rosita's inner walls clamped down hard upon my member as she reached her orgasm. Her body was trembling...

This sensation drove me over the edge and I climaxed. It felt similar to taking a piss but it wasn't piss that came out of my manhood and it felt ten times more pleasurable. My orgasm lasted for several minutes and I grabbed Rosita's hips as I thrust into her...filling her with my seed so that she couldn't escape...

Rosita collapsed on top of me, completely spent.

Whoa.

So _that_ was sex.

I decided that I liked sex.

I wrapped my arms around Rosita and breathed into her ear. "Can we do that again?" I asked shyly.

Rosita blinked down at me in surprise before she began to laugh musically. There was something special about Rosita's laugh. " _Claro que si, muchacho._ Of course, boy."

So that's how I got rid of my virginity. I could become a Sanky Panky now. All I needed was my target: a rich merchant's daughter, a _gringa_.

***

A few days later, I was out with the guys – Amano and Moreno – for a night out on the town. We were drinking to celebrate the loss of my virginity and we had ended up at Kahuna's \- another bar on the beach. Kahuna's had cheap drinks and the _dominican_ girls would dance on the bar during Happy Hour, so that drunk guys like Moreno could get the chance to peek up their short skirts. The bar also had several billiard tables. Seated at the bar, I recounted my encounter with Rosita in great detail to the _dominican_ guys who were listening to me with rapt interest. In fact, they had never paid so much attention to anything I had ever said before.

Moreno thumped me hard on the back. "Way to go Machete! You're not a cherry anymore! A man who doesn't like pussy is gay. I was getting worried, _hermano_. You see, I told you women are worth the time. So..." He leaned in intently. "Did you steal any of her panties?"

"Panties! Panties! Panties!" Don Juan squawked enthusiastically.

I gave Moreno an incredulous look. "..."

"So does this mean you're going to be a Sanky Panky?" Amano asked me curiously.

I nodded and explained to the guys my plan of finding a rich merchant's daughter and convincing her to marry me. I turned to Amano. "Amano...I get how being with a girl is good but how can you stand being with a guy..." I shuddered as I thought about Mercurius.

Amano's eyes widened slightly at my unexpected question. "Er, did something happen?"

"No..." I replied evasively and looked away not being able to meet Amano's eyes. I was a lousy liar.

Amano gave me a suspicious look. "I do what I must for the money. Besides, it's not so bad. A man can also get aroused by his-"

I put my fingers in my ears not wanting to hear more. "TMI Amano! I don't want to hear it. Anyways, I need to find a rich merchant's daughter and convince her to marry me and save my mother...but where do I start?"

"Ocean Sand's Harbor, duh." Moreno informed us. "That's where all the merchant ships first arrive. We can go there and watch the ship's passengers disembark while getting to see which merchants have eligible daughters. Next week, we'll go to the Ocean Sand's Harbor and check out the _gringa_ merchant's daughters." Moreno rubbed his hands together excitedly.

I took a swig of my beer. "Sounds like a plan. Cheers!" I said raising my glass mug. "To becoming a Sanky Panky!"

"To becoming a Sanky Panky!" My friends clinked their glass mugs against mine.

"Sanky Panky! Sanky Panky! Sanky Panky!" My parrot Don Juan squawked.

***

My problem is that I fall in love too easily. I'm all-tough on the outside but soft on the inside. I went back to my teacher Rosita for follow-up lessons and ended up falling in love with her. I fell hard.

So hard that I wanted to give up my whole plan about becoming a Sanky Panky, seducing a rich merchant's daughter, and wanted to marry Rosita instead. I wanted her to be mine, so I decided to confess.

I had been saving up some money in order to buy a nice outfit for when Moreno would take me to the Ocean Sand's Harbor, but I decided to blow all the money I had been saving on an extravagant bouquet of roses instead. Roses weren't grown on our part of the island and were very expensive. Later that day, I went to _La Casa del Placer_ intent on confessing my feelings to Rosita. I was sure she felt the same way, egotistically certain that our bodies communicated during sex. Rosita _wanted_ me too, I was so stupidly sure of this.

Rosita was not at the front desk when I arrived at _La Casa del Placer_ , a prostitute told me to wait in the lobby and that she'd go get Rosita for me. Rosita emerged from the back wearing nothing but a red silk robe that looked Japanese with a thick belt. She looked surprised to see me. I never came on Saturdays. Her eyes widened at the sight of me. "Machete...why are you here...?"

I approached Rosita and took out the bouquet of roses I had been hiding behind my back in order to surprise her, "Rosita...I love you." I wasn't the type of man to beat around the bush. I believed it was better to get straight to the point. I held my breath and waited for her response.

Rosita frowned and did not take the flowers. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself in a protective gesture. "Machete...I don't think we should see each other anymore..."

My chest hurt for some reason. "What? I don't understand, Rosita. We..."

Rosita shook her head at me. "There is no 'we' Machete. I...don't love you. It was just sex. Nothing more. I was your _Professora del Sexo_ , so that you could seduce rich _gringas_. What happened to your plan?"

A deep frown formed on my face. "I don't care about 'the plan' anymore, Rosita. I want _you_." I gave Rosita an urgent look.

"No you don't." Rosita took out a cigarette from her cleavage and I automatically lit a match and lit it for her. "Thanks." She took a puff from her cig and continued. "I'm twice your age Machete. I'm also the only woman you've ever been with and that's why you _think_ you love me. It's only because you lack experience. When you've met some pretty young thing you'll forget all about me."

"I don't care about how old you are...you're still damned sexy." I tried to reassure her. "You have the body of a seventeen-year-old. And...you're wrong. I really do love you. Do you really feel nothing for me Rosita?"

Rosita's eyes turned hard. "No, I don't want you to ever come here again, Machete. I've taught you all I can. You've graduated now. Now go find your rich _gringa_ and leave me in peace..."

"Rosita..." I gave her a dejected, hurt look.

"Rositaaaaa!" Came the slurred voice of a man from one of the back rooms. "Hurry up...I'm getting soft again...!"

Rosita's dark brown eyes became shuttered and I could no longer tell what she was thinking. "I have work to do. This is the reality, Machete. You were just...a job."

"A job?" I couldn't help but get angry, my blood boiling, my temper coming out. "Is that all I really was to you?! Screw you!" I threw the bouquet of roses at her. The bouquet fell apart as it hit her, red petals flying through the air and floating down to the floor. A thorn scratched Rosita's cheek and the scratch bled.

My eyes widened in horror. I had hurt Rosita. I approached her, reaching my hand out to her. "Rosita...I'm sorry."

"Get out." She said to me coldly.

I stopped moving forward and hung my head like a kicked puppy. I clenched my fists at my sides, turned around, and ran away without looking back. My damned Latin temper had gotten the better of me, again. And because of it I had lost Rosita. My first love.

What I would never come to know is this:

Rosita watched Machete go and as soon as he was gone the emotionless mask slipped from her face. She wrapped her arms around her trembling body and sunk to her knees, her strength leaving her. She no longer had to appear brave. She raised a hand to her scratched cheek and began to cry. "Machete..." _I can't believe I fell in love with a muchacho like him. That boy is like a drug...I became helplessly addicted to him. I didn't know I was so weak. I knew I had to end this now or else I never would have been able to let him go. A woman like me...it's too late for me to find love. He's no ordinary man. I've created a monster. What poor gringa will be able to resist him? He'll poison her for sure, just as I was poisoned. Machete you are going to be the most dangerous Sanky Panky in the DR._

***

The next day, at the Ocean Sand's Harbor...

Amano, Moreno, and I met up at the harbor the following morning after my 'break up' with _Professora_ Rosita to watch the merchant ships arriving to port. When Moreno met up with us Amano and I did a double take because of what Moreno was wearing-!

Moreno was dressed as a butler in a black jacket with tails, black pants, a (clean!) white, button-down shirt, a vest, and a butler's necktie. There was even a pair of shiny leather shoes on his feet.

I gawked openly at my friend. "Moreno, what the hell?"

Moreno scratched his cheek nervously. "I got a job with one of the merchant ships. A legit job."

"A job? What kind of job?" I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously.

"Er..." Moreno was saying but before he could answer we became distracted by the noisy crew and passengers of the various merchant ships. The ships had just arrived and the crews were beginning to disembark.

This was it. I would check out the merchants' daughters and choose one to seduce (and hopefully marry).

The first crew to disembark was Merchant Gabriel's ship the _Great Fortune_. He had two daughters. Unfortunately, the girls were a couple of _vacas gordas_ , fat cows!

Moreno began to belt out a popular _dominican_ _reggaeton_ song about some guy liking fat women (A mi asta las gordas me gustan by Doble T y el Crok) and I elbowed him hard in the side with my elbow so that he would shut up. He coughed and wheezed in response and gave me a betrayed look.

" _A mi asta las gordas me gustan...a mi asta las gordas me gustan..._ " My parrot rapped.

I shook my head. We were giving my poor parrot Don Juan a really strange repertoire. I was seriously worried about his future.

The second ship to disembark was Merchant Leonardo's ship the _Adventure Galley_. He had one daughter, who was unfortunately an old maid. She was wearing way too much makeup. Probably to try and hide her wrinkles. She was wearing an Elizabethan-styled dress with a low cut, v-neck that showed her slightly wrinkly breasts. I shuddered. _Gringas_ aged badly...Rosita's breasts were still firm, and pert and...

I shook my head and tried not to think about Rosita.

"Doable." Moreno shrugged and I gave him an incredulous look. Apparently, Moreno could 'do' anything as long as it had a pussy.

I was beginning to lose hope. Unlike Moreno I didn't think I could get it up for a fat girl or an wrinkly, old woman. Was hoping for a _pretty_ rich merchant's daughter too much to ask for? _God?_ I asked. I'm not a very religious person. But I put my hands together, looked up at the sky and prayed for God to send me a buxom beauty. _Dios...por favor...enviarme una bonita gringa..._

Moreno snorted at me when he saw what I was doing. "That's not going to work, _mi amigo_."

"Hey look!" Amano got our attention and pointed over to one of the merchants ships that had arrived late and whose passengers were just beginning to disembark.

Merchant Bartholomew's ship, the _Behemoth,_ was larger than all the other ships and exuded wealth. Bartholomew...that name sounded familiar to me for some reason. Well-dressed men and women began to disembark from Bartholomew's ship – they were all couples. Lords and ladies. People who had 'titles'. Then came the crew and then finally Bartholomew himself.

Bartholomew was a handsome, well-groomed man in his late forties. He had pale skin, short, salt and pepper hair, and a nicely trimmed mustache. He was wearing a dark blue suit, there was a commander's hat on his head and he had a silver cane in his hand. On his arm was a young girl who had to be his daughter...!

She was wearing a white, Elizabethan-style dress that had a lace-up corset and a tiered skirt with lots of lace and frills. She held a matching lacy, white umbrella in her hand, which was irritatingly blocking my view of her face at that exact moment. And then she lifted her umbrella to peer at Cabarete Village that was stretched out before her:

And her visage was revealed to me.

Moreno put his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly in response.

"Ahoy me beauty! Ahoy me beauty! Ahoy me beauty!" Don Juan called out.

Amano's jaw dropped and I closed it for him with my index finger.

Moreno was now looking up at the sky and putting his hands together. He began to pray vigorously. " _Dios_ ...I know we haven't spoken in a long time. It's me Moreno. I couldn't help but notice that you sent my _amigo_ here a fine _gringa_ and was wondering if you couldn't help me out too? You seem to answer prayers really fast and so I was just hoping..."

I hit Moreno over the back of his head with my fist to shut him up. "Idiot."

But I silently agreed with him since I was strangely lucky by just how beautiful Bartholomew's daughter was. _Strike!_ Her skin was as white as snow, and there was no pink to her perfect complexion. Her long, wavy hair was a pale gold color like a ray of sunlight. Her eyes were a clear blue-gray and she had long, dark lashes. She resembled one of those Elizabethan porcelain dolls. Strangely enough my mother had such a doll and this woman resembled her quite a bit. It was like seeing a doll come to life. _Qué hermosa muñeca!_

"That's her... _la futuro madre de mis hijos..._ the future mother of my children." I declared. She was delicate, a true lady in every sense of the word, fragile, frail...surely, she'd want a gentle lover. Perfect. She was perfect. "She's perfect..."

Around that time, the village drunk, Adolpho, was staggering by completely piss drunk as the lady disembarked and walked down the wooden gangplank. He took a swig of the bottle of rum he had with him and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while he peered and squinted at the doll lady intently.

Moreno gave me a surprised look. "So like Bartholomew's daughter, Blanca? I wouldn't have thought she'd be your type..."

"Blanca? Never heard of _her_!" Adolpho burst out loudly shaking his bottle at the ship in an angry gesture. "Never knew Bartholomew had a daughter! Bastard! I'll have to bring this up with him later!"

"Blanca?" I questioned Moreno, and narrowed my eyes at him. "You know about her?"

"Well," Moreno began, suddenly looking guilty. "I'm actually going to be her personal butler for the duration of her stay in the Dominican Republic." He informed us.

"WHAT?!" I burst out.

"Shhhh!" Moreno slapped a hand over my mouth and looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Calm down, my hotheaded _amigo_. Bartholomew's daughter Blanca has poor health. She's sickly and frail, and so he announced the need for a personal butler in our local newspaper to take care of Blanca's every need while she's here. It's a legit job and pays well so I decided to recommend myself for the position."

I gave Moreno an incredulous look. "So let me get this straight – you're going to be Blanca's personal butler?"

Moreno scratched his scalp nervously and I watched as a flea jumped off his head and jumped onto Amano's shoulder. "Well...yea..."

"Switch places with me." I deadpanned.

"What?" Moreno gawked at me.

"Come on...give me your uniform!" I began to stalk towards Moreno.

"No way!" Moreno began backing away from me.

"Come on...don't be difficult. You owe me. Besides with _that_ face there's no way _you_ could have a chance with a fine wench like Blanca anyways." I reminded him.

"Hey!" Moreno was indignant.

"He's right, _mi amigo_. _Tú eres muy feo_ _._ You're pretty ugly." Amano said while shaking his head regretfully.

" _Feo_! _Feo_! _Feo_!" Don Juan chanted mercilessly.

"¡ _Coñio_! Fuck!" Moreno exclaimed as I hauled his ass over behind some large, wooden, storage crates that were being unloaded from the ship, and proceeded to strip his butler's uniform off of him. I quickly dressed in the butler's uniform and tossed my own clothes at the pissed Moreno. I ran my hands back through my shoulder length, wavy, black hair and tried to put it in order. Moreno was gawking at me while Amano had started drooling. I must have looked good in the butler's uniform.

The Lady Blanca was slowly making her way down the gangplank with delicate steps. She was the epitome of a well-to-do lady. Just watching her I could see that she had poise, grace, and had a demure personality.

As the Lady Blanca continued her descent down the gangplank a business associate called out to Bartholomew. He was a nondescript man in a black suit with slicked back hair and spectacles on his face. I didn't pay him much attention. "Bartholomew, Sir! I must discuss something about the cargo shipment with you. There were supposed to be twenty crates of salt and there are only eighteen." He appeared to be the ship's Quartermaster due to his scholarly appearance. There was a pile of books, rolled up maps, and charts held in his two hands. He looked about ready to trip under the weight of all the things he was carrying, and I had the sudden inexplicable urge to run up and help the man, which was weird because I rarely helped strangers.

"Hey, doesn't that man look familiar?" Amano said as he tried to direct my attention to the bookkeeper.

Bartholomew nodded in the bookkeeper's direction. "I'll be right there." He turned to his daughter Blanca. "I'm sorry my dear, business calls. Will you be alright getting to the hotel on your own?" He took her hands in his and gave her a worried look.

Blanca gave him a tremulous smile. "I'll be just fine, Father. Don't worry about me. Business comes first." Her smile turned almost magically sweet.

"My wise and beautiful daughter." Bartholomew kissed Blanca on her forehead and squeezed her hands before letting go and stalking down the gangplank to speak with his business associate while leaving Blanca to make the rest of the way down the gangplank on her own. She slowly continued her way down, however, just as she was about to reach the bottom her heel got caught in the wooden boards of the gangplank and she began to fall forward. "Epp!"

But I was conveniently there to catch her-

In my arms.

Blanca looked up to see who had caught her and her eyes widened as she caught sight of me. I had rendered her speechless, no doubt, with my rugged good looks. I'm _so_ the man. I thought. "Are you alright, _señora_?" I asked her.

"Er, yes..." Blanca stuttered as she blushed and looked at my hold on her. "Please let go of me, Sir. You're hurting me."

I immediately let go of her wondering if my grip really had been too tight. "I'm sorry, _mi señora_. Allow me to assist you the rest of the way down. If you would take my arm." I offered her my arm in a gallant gesture.

Blanca gave me a curious look as she eyed my arm and then me. She also eyed my parrot that was perched on my shoulder curiously.

" _Rica gringa_! _Rica gringa_! _Rica gringa!_ " Don Juan squawked loudly in her face.

I paled, thinking it was all over, but Blanca laughed lightly at Don Juan's antics – her laugh was like the sound a glass wind chime makes – with a hand upraised in front of her mouth from embarrassment.

As she gazed into my eyes – I think I fell in love with her at first sight. I've already explained that I have a problem with falling in love too easily. This would surely be my downfall.

Blanca took my arm slowly. "Just who are you?"

"Oh, please excuse the late introduction, _señora_. I am your humble butler." I informed her with a bow.

Blanca's eyes widened "You! My butler!" She exclaimed and coughed as she tried to recompose herself. "I don't understand..."

"Your father hired me to be your personal butler while you're here in the DR in order to see to your needs." I quickly informed her wondering if this was all going to hell in a hand basket.

Blanca looked thoughtful for a moment before she spoke. "I see. So father hired you. How...convenient." She gave me an assessing look.

I merely smiled at her in return. Most of my worries had left me. If I could get a lady like Blanca to fall in love with me I suddenly saw no problem with marrying a rich _gringa_ to support my mother.

Blanca suddenly handed me her umbrella, "Well then, Mr. Butler...I expect you to take good care of me. I'm in your hands."

I had to quell my initial reaction of irk for not liking people telling me what to do before I took her umbrella and bowed. "Of course, _señora_."

"To start with...you can be in charge of my things." Blanca declared as she handed me her suitcase. It was heavy but I managed it easily. It was nothing compared to a ten-foot-tall Buddha statue after all.

I hailed an open coach and the coachman drove the team of four horses towards us. One-handed I tossed Blanca's luggage into the back of the coach. Blanca watched my actions with a blank expression on her face. I folded her umbrella and opened the coach door for her to get inside. Blanca stepped inside of the coach carefully.

"Which hotel are you staying at?" I asked.

"Sol Caribe." She replied

"Sol Caribe!" I told the coachman before getting into the coach next to Blanca. The coachman snapped the reigns and the stagecoach moved forward as the team of four horses took off trotting down the cobbled street.

"So tell me, Mr. Butler how did my father choose _you_ to be my butler?" Blanca asked me, with a curious look on her face and while she twirled a strand of golden hair around one of her fingers playfully.

I blinked. _Crap!_ How the hell _had_ Moreno managed to get this job anyways, I wondered. I remembered him having said something about his hiring but that didn't help at all. "Er – I guess I'm just lucky that I was chosen by your father since I had no idea that Bartholomew's daughter was going to be such a beauty." I winked at her.

Blanca blushed demurely. "Is that so?" She then abruptly turned her head away from me and stared at the passing scenery with a tiny frown on her face. "I'm tired from my journey Mr. Butler so just act like air and stay quiet for the rest of the ride to the hotel." She ordered.

My eye twitched. "Of course... _señora_ ..." I ground out.

Blanca looked out from the carriage as we continued our way to the hotel and I noticed the thoughtful almost worried expression on her face since I could see her face. I wondered what a pampered little rich girl could possibly have to worry about.

We soon arrived at Sol Caribe Hotel. Sol Caribe Hotel was one of the ritziest, high-class, high-end hotels in Cabarete Village. The outside of the hotel was impressive with its orange-painted, curved walls. There was a _caliche_ stone wall and a pebbled driveway that had a mixture of small polished stones and shells. The interior of the hotel was just as architecturally impressive and had _caliche_ stone walls, red, ceramic tiled floors, mahogany doors and windows, and gleaming marble counters. In every nook and cranny there were tropical flower arrangements in glass vases.

The hotel staff was expecting Blanca and the hotel receptionist gave her a warm welcome. A bellboy tried to take Blanca's luggage but I shooed him off. I wanted to make sure I would get to carry Blanca's luggage to her room in order to make a good impression. Another hotel employee swiftly led us to Blanca's suite. I carried Blanca's luggage inside for her and set it down on the floor. The hotel employee coughed expectantly. He probably wanted a tip.

"Oh yes, do forgive me." Blanca said as she took out a small, velvet pouch and took out a few _reals_ , which she deposited into the man's hand. He smiled gratefully and left.

"Is there anything else you need, _señora_?" I asked Blanca. _Like a nice warm bath...or me...or a nice warm bath with you and me in it...?_

Blanca tapped her chin thoughtfully as she gazed around the suite. "Well...I think it would be better if you moved my suitcase closer to the bed."

I shrugged. "Alright, _señora_." I moved her suitcase closer to the bed.

"You know, on second thought, it would be more convenient if you moved it closer to that armoire over there so that I can unpack..." Blanca corrected. "Sorry. Do forgive me."

My temple began to throb. "Er, sure thing." I moved her suitcase again and dusted my hands off. "Anything else, _muñeca_?"

"Well," Blanca had a hesitant look on her face. "I hate to bother you but..."

"What is it? I am here to serve you, _señora_ ..." I reminded her.

"Well, since you put it that way. It's this furniture arrangement." She waved her hand elegantly around the room.

"Huh?" I gave her a blank look.

"It's all wrong...that sofa should really be over there and as for that table..." She began to list off instructions. When I didn't move right away she spoke again. "If it wasn't for this sickly body of mine I would do it myself..." She gave me a sad look.

That pathetic, embarrassed, slightly ashamed look that she was giving me was reminding me of my sickly, childhood friend Sebastian. While Santiago, Amano, Moreno and I were out having adventures in our youth our neighbor Sebastian had to stay at Cabarete Hospital because of his weak body. My friends and I would go visit Sebastian to tell him all about our adventures though, so that he wouldn't feel left out. He used to love our story telling.

And that's how Blanca suddenly had me rearranging all of the furniture in the suite to her specifications. She had me lifting sofas, tables, and chairs. The lady I had thought was a demure lady was slowly turning out to be a harsh taskmaster. I set down a couch and turned to glare at Blanca. "What's next?"

Blanca stared back at me blankly. "Nothing." She then gave me a sweet smile. "The room looks perfect now. Thank you. I'm so sorry for the trouble." She gave me an apologetic look. "You were a big help." She finished in a very ladylike manner.

I could feel my anger draining. This woman already had me wrapped around her little finger and I didn't even know it yet. She would soon have me jumping through hoops. "Er, no, it was no trouble."

Blanca walked over to me and touched my arm lightly. Just that light touch sent a pleasant little tingle down my arm. "If I had muscles as impressive as yours I wouldn't have had to ask for your help." She let out a helpless little sigh.

I looked at the hand on my arm and gave Lady Blanca a questioning look. I swallowed thickly.

Blanca seemed to realize what she was doing and quickly took her hand away, to blush coyly. "Goodnight then, Mr. Butler." She dismissed me abruptly.

My eye twitched. "Er...good night. If you need anything...anything at all I'll be in the room just next to yours. Don't forget I'm here to serve you in any way I can." _Like rearranging more furniture or having sex...preferably the latter..._

Blanca nodded, a strange glint in her blue-gray eyes. "I won't forget."

I made my way to my room, threw myself down on the bed, and it creaked loudly in protest. I was completely exhausted! Being all submissive and obedient went against my aggressive nature and it was hard keeping this act up. I stripped off my clothes and got into bed. I slept in the nude. I closed my eyes and was soon fast asleep.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night to someone shaking my arm roughly. I was awake in an instant. It was pitch black in the room but I could hear the sound of a woman's soft crying...!

"B-B-Blanca?" I questioned worriedly as I fumbled to light the oil lamp that was on the bedside table. Once the lamp was lit I turned to see Blanca sitting on the edge of my bed in her white nightgown with a silk handkerchief close to her face to dab at her eyes with. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Were you attacked?"

"I...had a nightmare." Blanca informed me in an overly dramatic fashion, sniffling, looking pathetic, and with her silver blue eyes glistening with tears.

"Huh? A nightmare..." I gaped at her.

Blanca nodded and gripped my arm before leaning in close. I was suddenly reminded of the fact that I was naked under my bed sheet. "Ack!" I pulled my sheet up to my neck. "Lady Blanca! I'm not decent and a lady shouldn't be in a man's room at this hour. People will talk and rumors spread like wildfire in this village."

"Can't I stay with you, just for a little while? I'm just so...scared...I..." Lady Blanca began to cry into her handkerchief.

"Ahhh!" Her tears had undone me. "I guess..." I grudgingly agreed.

"Well, actually there's something I want to go do..." Blanca said suddenly while giving me a hopeful look.

"At this hour? What...?" I furrowed my brows at her.

"I want to go to a bar." She informed me simply.

"Ehhhhh?" I gawked at the (proper?) lady.

"Get me some grog, wench! Get me some grog, wench!" Don Juan exclaimed from my shoulder.

"I need a strong drink to help me forget that horrible nightmare." She shivered and gave me a puppy dog look that was making me cave. She must have noticed this because she suddenly smiled triumphantly. "We'll have to sneak out of the hotel because Father can't know about this." Blanca tapped her chin in thought. "I guess we'll have to go out the window. Well, what are you waiting for Mr. Butler? Use the bed sheets to make me a rope that we can climb out of this room's window with."

I stared at Blanca in pure disbelief. I grit my teeth as I responded. "Yes... _señora_. But first you need to close your eyes so I can throw on some clothes." I glared at Blanca for good measure and raised an eyebrow at her. "Unless you want to see..."

"Oh no!" Blanca quickly covered her eyes with her pale, delicate looking hands.

I sighed as I hopped out of bed and quickly threw on my butler's uniform. It was all wrinkled. I didn't give a shit. I grabbed the bed sheets from my bed and yanked them off angrily. I was grumpy and annoyed. I began to make a knotted rope out of the bed sheets. Once the rope was done I flung the window open, tied the rope around one of the bedposts and tossed the rope out the window. I looked out the window and looked down. We were on the second floor. One could almost jump the distance but Blanca's frail body would never be able to handle such a feat.

"I'll go first so that I can assist you from below if something happens." I told her.

Blanca nodded. "Alright, Mr. Butler."

I grabbed onto the makeshift rope and jumped out the window. I then used the rope to make my way down the side of the hotel building. I let go of the rope and jumped down once I was a foot above the ground. I looked up to see Blanca peering over the windowsill with a nervous look on her face.

"Come on Lady Blanca...I'll catch you if you fall." I called up to her and gave her a reassuring look.

"That would be impossible." Blanca declared and I watched as she uneasily grabbed onto the windowsill and pulled herself up onto it. She grabbed onto the rope and began to lower herself out of the window. She then slowly and painstakingly began to make her way down the side of the building. Her fluffy, Elizabethan nightgown was making her climbing difficult and her dress was getting in her way as she tried to get a foothold on the side of the building as she continued to lower herself down.

I yawned. _So slow!_

"I...can't..." Blanca declared suddenly as she simply let go of the rope and fell back.

"Lady Blanca!" I cried and jumped up to catch her as she fell. I caught her easily.

Blanca stared back at me in awe. "You caught me."

"I did." I said as I set her down on her feet. I whistled and my black horse Casanova showed up from seemingly out of nowhere. I mounted the black stallion effortlessly and offered my hand to Blanca. "Where would _señora_ like to go drinking? One of the popular beach bars that are frequented by merchants?"

Blanca took my hand and I helped her to mount behind me by swinging her up. Blanca wrapped her arms around my torso tentatively. She shook her head. "No, you're _dominican_ aren't you? I want to go to a typical _dominican_ bar where they play _dominican_ music. A bar that you would normally go to, Mr. Butler."

Was that sarcasm in her voice? I blinked. "That would be ONNOS. But ONNOS is no place for a lady..."

"I want to go to ONNOS, Mr. Butler. That's an order." Blanca gave me a stern look.

My eye twitched. "Yes... _señora_." I kicked Casanova and we went trotting off to ONNOS.

ONNOS was my usual hangout – the food and drinks were cheap, and I was friends with the bartender Damian. Damian had blue eyes and curly brown hair. The girls were always trying to catch his eye and though Damian wasn't oblivious like I was to women he just wasn't interested in them, and so ignored their attempts at flirting. Damian made a great bartender since he didn't drink. He also had a way of being an observer and so was able to stay out of trouble. He always had a great outside perspective on things since he was usually on the outside looking in, and so was a great guy to go to for advice. At parties he always found the best vantage point to check out the entire party so that he wouldn't miss a thing of what was going on. The people who usually frequented the bar were locals – farmers, fishermen, _ladrones_ , _prostitutas_ , pirates, sanky pankys, riffraff, scallywags – _dominicans_ in a nutshell. Lady Blanca was going to stick out like a white sore thumb.

ONNOS had a rather rustic décor with a cana thatched roof, mahogany bar counter, mahogany stools, dark, muted colors, candle lighting (lamp oil was expensive), and a smoky, intimate atmosphere.

I halted Casanova outside of ONNOS and tied him up to a palm tree. I dismounted first and helped Blanca to dismount by simply grabbing her by the waist and setting her down on the sand easily. We entered ONNOS – there was a rowdy bunch already there. As my friends and _dominicans_ caught sight of Blanca and me, however, a hush fell over the crowd.

I spotted Moreno and Amano at the bar and made my way over to them ignoring the rest of the staring idiots. "Hey guys!" I called out, nonchalant as if I didn't have a pretty _gringa_ in a nightgown in tow with me.

Moreno and Amano were both gawking at me.

I jerked my thumb at the Lady Blanca. "This is Lady Blanca. She had a nightmare and said she wanted a drink, so that she could forget it." I looked around the bar pointedly. "I hope that's not a problem?"

Moreno seemed to snap out of his stupor. "Problem? No problem at all! Right everyone!" He took his bandana off and wiped off one of the barstools for Blanca. "Lady Blanca, please sit here." He pulled the stool out for her.

"Why thank you, kind sir." Lady Blanca said demurely as she took a seat at the bar stool daintily.

I hopped up onto the bar stool next to her and yawned widely. It was 2:00 AM for Christ's sake! "Damian _mi amigo_! Get me a Bumboo (a drink of the West Indies made with watered rum and flavored with sugar and nutmeg). What would you like to drink, Blanca?"

"I'll have the same." She said simply, her eyes staring ahead listlessly.

Damian gave Blanca a skeptical look while I raised an eyebrow at her. I shrugged and gave Damian a pointed look. "You heard the lady, Damian."

Damian nodded, grabbed two Blackjacks (drinking cups made of leather that were made stiffer with an application of tar), prepared our Bumboos, and set them down before us. Damian was about to put away the bottle of rum that he had used to make the Bumboos when Blanca reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Leave the bottle."

Damian gave me a questioning look. I just shrugged again. Damian left the bottle.

I downed my Bumboo swiftly. I was surprised when Blanca did the same. She grabbed the bottle of rum and poured herself another drink simply putting the rum over the ice that had been left in her Blackjack.

"Lady Blanca...are you sure you should be drinking so much?" I couldn't help but ask.

Lady Blanca frowned at me. "I came here to drink and forget...and you are to accompany me, Mr. Butler." She declared as she poured me another drink while she was at it. She raised her glass. "Cheers." She gave me an expectant look.

I raised my cup and clinked it against hers. "Cheers." I shook my head and watched in astonishment as Lady Blanca downed the cup of rum on ice easily. I downed my second drink and Lady Blanca was already pouring another.

Lady Blanca was an enigma. She seemed to be filled with contradictions. Delicate and ladylike one minute and something _else_ entirely the next. I just couldn't figure out _what_ exactly. I have to admit she intrigued me. I don't really know how it happened but two bottles of rum later Blanca was still going strong and I was about to pass out...

Blanca looked around the seedy bar. "Isn't there any entertainment? Like live music?"

"Womannnn," I slurred, "It's late...the _mariachi_ have already gone home..."

"I see...then how about I sing." Blanca suggested.

"Sing?" I raised an eyebrow at Blanca, slightly swaying on my stool as I squinted at her.

"Sing! That's a great idea!" Moreno declared loudly, "Hey everyone, the _rubia_ is going to sing us a song!"

"Whooo! Go for it lassie!" "Blow me down!" "Shiver me timbers!" Everyone cheered.

"A song? Yay!" Amano clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Sing! Sing! Sing! _Linda_ _gringa_!" The _ladrones_ , Sanky Pankys, pirates, whores, transvestites and everyone chanted. What? People like them liked entertainment just as much as the next man did.

Blanca stood up and made her way over to the stage that was in the back of the bar. She lowered her head, closed her eyes, and seemed to be preparing herself. Then Blanca looked up and began to sing:

I must have been very drunk because I couldn't understand a word she was singing. Although maybe it was in another language, like English. My English sucked. My mother was always telling me I should learn English like my brother Santiago so that I could be a merchant someday.

All I remember is that the song was pleasant and for some reason it reminded me of the sound of the ocean – of the ocean's crashing waves and surf, the cry of a seagull, the sound the inside of a shell makes, the splash of a dolphin's tail hitting the surface of the water-

And I remember how beautiful Blanca looked illuminated by candlelight, singing in that grimy bar, so clean and white surrounded by such filth. She looked like an angel. I could have sworn I saw this white halo of light surrounding her.

And then I knew no more.

***

Blanca finished her song and looked around ONNOS to see that the pirates, _ladrones_ , Sanky Pankys, whores as well as Machete, Moreno, Amano and Damian were all fast asleep.

A sly grin formed on her face.

Blanca then made her way over to Machete and began to rummage through his clothes. She checked his jacket and pants' pockets. "Just who are you really, Mr. Butler? Tsk." She frowned when she discovered nothing incriminating in his clothes. The only thing she had found in Machete's pocket was a piece of lint and a piece of rotting fruit. Blanca frowned. "You're no servile island servant...not with that unusual strength of yours, and not with that murderous gleam in your eyes. The stench of blood surrounds this man. You have the eyes of a wild animal, a beast. A killer. You Mr. Butler are a dangerous man...are you a pirate? Or perhaps a spy...? Shit. If you're a pirate you'll bear the mark of your Captain." Blanca mused aloud as she began to strip Machete's clothes off. She took all his clothes off until he was completely naked.

Blanca gazed dispassionately at his naked body unabashedly. She had to admit that Mr. Butler was an attractive man...but he was no pirate. Blanca frowned and said to herself again. "Just who are you really, Mr. Butler? I don't trust you or your little friends. I won't let anyone get in my way. You're all nothing but fools..."

Blanca stripped all of the men in the bar of their clothes and wrote the word 'fool' on their foreheads in English.

She spotted the town's drunk, Adolpho, off in one dark corner and realized she had missed him. She stripped him down as well, holding her nose as she did so. Her eyes widened dramatically when she saw the large wolf tattoo on his back. "The mark of Captain Sloth?! What...how is this possible?" Blanca eyed the old man in disbelief and backed away from him fearfully. She hurriedly left the bar after that.

### Chapter 4: Do ye mind if the parrot watches?

I woke up in ONNOS bar, butt-naked with the word 'fool' written on my forehead...although I didn't know that right away. I groaned, stretched and realized I was naked first...

I looked around and saw my fellow _dominicans_ waking up, and noticed they were all buck-naked too, and that they had something written on their foreheads. Someone it seemed had hornswaggled all of us.

"Lady Blanca?!" I looked around the bar for any sign of the proper lady, worried for her safety in a bar filled with drunken naked men. But Blanca was nowhere to be seen. Worry quickly shifted to suspicion.

Moreno was having a cup of coffee at the bar, still naked, but not seeming to give a damn. "She's not here, _amigo_." He said without turning around to look at me.

"What?" I snapped and began to rub my temples. "Well, then where the hell is she?"

"I searched for her too...and our clothes. Both are gone like the wind, _mi amigo_." Moreno was trying to use a profound tone of voice.

"You guys don't think she's responsible for this do you?" Amano was giving us an incredulous look. "That would be crazy. Blanca is the epitome of the perfect lady."

I thought back to the Lady Blanca's strange, contradictory behavior. Was it possible for her to do something like this? I didn't know. I didn't know the Lady Blanca well enough. I looked at the word 'fool' on Amano and Moreno's foreheads but since it was written in English I didn't know what it meant. "What's written on your foreheads?"

"Yours too." Amano informed me as he held up a frying pan so I could see my reflection in the metal surface like a mirror.

"Shit." I swore and spit into my hand and began to rub vigorously at my forehead.

"It won't come off like that – it's permanent ink." Moreno informed me. He took a sip of his coffee. "It means 'fool'." He calmly told me what the English word meant.

_Fool?_ I raised my eyebrow at Moreno since he was taking this so well. "You're sure taking all this in stride, Moreno." I could feel my own temper beginning to boil.

...But if Blanca _had_ stripped us all down and written the word 'fool' on our foreheads that meant that she was NO lady.

"This isn't the first time I've woken up naked, with my clothes no where to be found, and with the word 'fool' or something similar written on my forehead. This was definitely the work of a woman." He informed me knowingly.

"You're kidding right? Women...do things like this?" I couldn't believe it. My mother would never do something like this...

"Well, if you've wronged a woman somehow or in her mind you have wronged her then...yes she will do crazy things like this." Moreno explained.

"Done something wrong?" I thought back on my treatment of Blanca. Had I somehow mistreated or offended her? Ha, I'd been the _perfect_ gentleman, the perfect, obedient butler. So it couldn't have been me... _grrrrr_ ...if Blanca _did_ do this she was going to pay – perhaps in a similar fashion. A leer formed on my face as I thought about stripping Blanca down and writing ' _chica mala_ ' 'bad girl' on her forehead.

"Hornswaggled! Hornswaggled! Hornswaggled!" My parrot Don Juan squawked.

The village drunk was the only one with his clothes still on. "What the hell, old man," I growled, "How come you still have your clothes!"

"What lady would want to undress a smelly old man?" Moreno put his hands out in a helpless gesture.

"Good point." I nodded in agreement.

Adolpho gave Moreno and I an indignant look before taking a swig of rum directly from his bottle. "Beware the bird-woman's song...she lures sailors with her enchanting voice to shipwreck and doom on the rocky coast of her cursed isle. Odysseus barely made it past that cursed island. Out of curiosity he made his men put wax in their ears and tie him to the mast so that he could listen to the siren's song as they passed close by. He nearly went mad with resisting their lure. He then fell into the hands of the siren-witch-goddess Circe and was under her spell for a while as her captive lover..."

I gave Adolpho a pitying look. "What gibberish are you going on about now, old man?"

"Nothing...nothing at all." Adolpho murmured. "Don't mind me...I'm just a crazy old man. Don't mind me at all...don't bother to heed my warning Machete...you'll end up just like Odysseus in Circe's clutches with no way to escape..."

"Circe?" I bet my scholarly brother Santiago would have known whom the hell Adolpho was talking about... _keh_ ...frustrated at my own slow mind I decided to leave ONNOS.

Amano called after me. "Machete?! You're not really planning on leaving like _that_ are you?"

He was referring to my nakedness. I looked down at my lean, muscular body and shrugged. "I'm sure people have seen worse."

Amano let out an exasperated sigh. "That's not the point-! Machete!"

But I wasn't listening. I needed to get to Sol Caribe and find the Lady Blanca ASAP.

Dilemma. My horse Casanova was missing. _Shit._ I had a feeling this was going to be a fucked up day. I strutted down the busy Cabarete main street – buck-naked – the merchants and _dominicans_ alike gawked at me and the _linda señoritas_ fainted as I passed. _Heh._ They'd probably never seen a man with a real yardarm before. I wondered if I should walk around town naked more often. It was kinda liberating without clothes.

However, I hadn't gone very far before I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a couple of 'Merchant Police' (a group of police that were charged with ensuring the safety of the merchants visiting the DR and also in charge of upholding the law in Cabarete Village). _Crap_. "Can I help you, officers?" I decided to try and play it cool. Maybe if I acted like nothing was wrong, and I had clothes, they would, uh, believe it? Like in that story _The Emperor's New Clothes_ or something. I gave the man a cocky smirk.

"You're under arrest for indecent exposure, _muchacho_. You'll be coming with us down to the station..." The Merchant Police officer informed me.

I didn't have time for this shit. "Indecent exposure?" I drawled and raised an eyebrow at the officers. "Why don't you tell that to the fat, topless, merchant's daughters that are sunning themselves on the beach. Now _that's_ indecent. I mean, who actually wants to see _that_?" I asked as I picked wax out of my ear and flicked it into the air in an obstinate gesture. "I'm kinda in a hurry so if you'll excuse me..." I took the officer's hand off my shoulder and began to walk off.

The officer glared at my retreating back. "I _said_ you're under arrest. If you don't come along peacefully then I'm going to charge you with resisting arrest. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, Machete. I would recommend giving up now since you're coming down to the station regardless."

"I appreciate your 'recommendation' but I choose to resist." I said as I turned back around.

The three officers pulled out their billy clubs simultaneously and approached me. I raised my fists – they charged at me. One officer swung his billy club at my head. I ducked and punched him in the stomach. The second officer tried to hit me on the head from behind but I spun and caught his billy club one-handed. I pulled the billy club out of his hand and hit the side of his head with it, with a loud _thwack!_

The third officer aimed for the backs of my legs with his billy club and I sunk to my knees as his blow connected. The same officer approached me with his billy club and moved to knock me out with a blow to the back of my neck but I flexed my neck muscles before he hit me. He thwacked me hard, but his metal billy club came away surprisingly bent.

"What the?" The officer looked down at his bent billy club in bewilderment. It was made of hardened steel.

I stood up, cracked my neck from side to side, and then cracked my knuckles. I approached the frightened man ready to beat the SHIT out of him, however-

The sound of a pistol being cocked was heard. _CRAP!_ I turned around to see the two other officers with pistols aimed my way as well.

"That's not a good idea, Machete." The first officer drawled, his finger on the trigger of his pistol.

COÑIO. I was about to reach for my machete (which wasn't there since I was naked anyways, oops) when the officer shot my hand. _Ow!_ God dammit that hurt like hell. I sunk to my knees in pain. "I told you to choose the 'easy way' Machete. You just resisted arrest and tried to assault a police officer...and..." The officer leaned down and breathed in deep. "You're drunk. You stink, _borracho punketo,_ drunk punk. Boys...let him have it." The officer declared.

The other two officers had ugly grins on their faces as they approached me with their billy clubs while the third officer's pistol was still aimed at my head. There wasn't much I could do except take their beating without complaint or risk getting shot again.

The first and second officer proceeded to beat the shit out of me with their billy clubs. It was an odd feeling – letting them hit me. I took each blow and each time I had to resist the urge to fight back. My blood was boiling within me. I glared murderously at the officer with the gun. If it weren't for that gun they'd all be toast. The blows hurt but my muscles protected my internal organs and I silently prayed and thanked The Samurai for his harsh training regimens. If it hadn't been for him and my training I probably would have been beaten to death that day. And just for showing off my dick to the happy ladies...what the fuck...?

I'm sure a woman would never get beaten to death for showing off her boobies in public. Of that I was sure. There was definitely a strange double standard in this world. Women got away with a whole lot more, and I was beginning to get why Amano sometimes dressed like a woman...not that I _understood_ it but I got it, you know.

Anyways, they beat me until they grew tired and couldn't hit me any more. Only then did they stop. The officers threw me into the back of a police coach and then took my pathetic, semi-unconscious ass back to the Cabarete police station. They dragged me inside and tossed me in a cell filled with a bunch of smelly, mean-eyed _dominicans_. They looked me up and down and leered at me. I ignored them.

"Hey!" I called, grabbing the bars of the cell. "When do I get out of here?!" I called out. "I got important shit to do. Like...keeping a business appointment with a merchant's daughter." I noticed one _dominican_ really staring at me and glared back at him. "Like what you see? Least you can do is offer me a cigarette, _amigo_."

Almost immediately the skinny little man was offering me a cigarette and lighting it for me. I took a drag on the cig, heck, this wasn't so bad.

The officer raised an eyebrow at me. "You were going to a business appointment looking like that? Oh, I see. You're a Sanky Panky aren't you? Well, I'm sure your sweet little _gringa_ can wait. You'll leave when you make bail." The officer laughed heartily, knowing that this was probably an impossibility.

"Bail? Who decided that? How much?" I asked.

"Fifty pieces-of-eight." The officer replied.

"Fifty pieces-of-eight?!" My eyes bulged. "No one around here has that kind of money!" Moreno and Amano wouldn't be able to come up with that kind of money even if they pooled their entire life savings together – not that I would ever ask them to do such a thing to begin with. But this meant I was royally fucked. I was going to stay in this jail for the rest of my life! I wondered how an island with almost no economy could even afford to keep me in here.

The officers chuckled at my desperate expression. "Well, the merchants do. You should have chosen your friends more wisely, Machete. Instead of that perverted thief and that filthy transvestite you hang out with all the time..."

"Fuck you!" I spit on the officer. Let me tell you something, if there was one thing I knew how to do well it was how to hock a luggie. It hit the poor sucker right between the eyes.

The _dominicans_ in the cell with me cheered.

The officer wiped the spit off his face with his one hand, looking murderous. "You have a dirty mouth, smart-ass punk. I just might fuck you with my baton...that might shut you up. I say we see how far up your ass my baton can go! What do you think, Machete?" The officer began to approach the cell.

At the same time the _dominicans_ that were in the cell with me began to surround me almost protectively. I scratched my head wondering how I had won them over so easily. Maybe they just didn't like officers either. "I don't think so, perverted officer. You come in here and you're going to lose something important."

"Tito!" One of the other officers called out.

" _Grrr_ what is it?!" Tito snapped, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of 'reprimanding' a prisoner?"

"It's about Machete's bail, Sir. Someone is at the front desk saying they're willing to pay it." The other officer looked just about as befuddled as I felt. Someone had fifty pieces-of-eight and was going to waste it on me? I wanted to tell them, whoever they were, that they were an idiot, to forget about me, to have a nice night on the town with expensive booze, lobster, and sexy _chicas_ ...the works.

"What?! Well," Tito turned to me, straightening his necktie, "It looks like you've made bail, Machete. You've escaped me this time but next time you won't be so lucky." Tito ran his hand over his billy club in a sickening manner.

I shuddered. "...Who?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Machete!" I looked up to see my brother Santiago stalking towards my cell with long strides. _Santiago!?_ Santiago was my brother who had left home five years ago and hadn't been seen or heard from since. Now that I got a better look at him I realized that he must have been that nondescript gentleman I had seen aboard Bartholomew's ship the _Behemoth_.

"Santiago?" I looked him over, more closely this time. He was dressed like a real gentleman, which is probably why I hadn't recognized him at the harbor. His black hair was slicked back, there was a pair of round, thick-rimmed spectacles on his face, and he was wearing a black suit, white button down shirt, stripped vest, and a cravat for heaven's sake. I noticed the cutlass strapped to his waist and snorted. Since when did Santiago know how to use a cutlass. I wondered. He looked good – rich. Unlike me he was also clean-shaven and I could smell some kind of expensive cologne on him. After everything I had been through I probably smelled like a pig making me feel oddly self-conscious. Had he struck the mother lode? What had he been doing on Bartholomew's ship anyways...?

My brother had returned looking in perfect health. Obviously nothing bad had befallen him as I had oftentimes wondered or perhaps even hoped since it was better than the alternative – my brother abandoning my mother and I without even saying goodbye. So Santiago had simply abandoned us and run off to become a rich merchant's dog. Great, just great. Boy did I feel loved.

"Brother," Santiago gripped the bars of my cell, a worried expression on his face. He looked over at the other _dominicans_ in the cell with me – filthy criminals and gave them a disgusted look. I felt like punching my pompous brother. Since when did he think he was better than anyone? "Don't worry, I'm getting you out of here." Santiago impatiently motioned for Tito to unlock the cell door.

Tito reluctantly unlocked the cell door and Santiago stepped inside. He handed me a paper bag that had some clothes in it. "Here, put these on."

I took the clothes and began putting them on right there in the cell. Santiago shook his head at my actions. He wanted to get out of that cell as soon as possible. The clothes were a little too high class or dressy for my taste. They fit as though they had been purchased with me in mind, however. A red silk shirt, a pair of black pants and a pair of high quality, brand new, black leather boots. He handed me a machete, which I stuck into my sash belt. I felt a lot better having a weapon on my person. The boots I pondered over before deciding against them. I had never worn shoes and didn't think I should start right then. I handed the boots to the man who had given me the cigarette much to the horror of my appalled brother.

"Here, thanks for the cig." I said to the man before I strutted out of the cell.

The man had tears in his eyes for God's sake. I don't think he had ever touched a pair of boots as expensive as the ones my brother had just tried to give me. He began to cross himself as I left. " _Gracias_ ... _aye Dios mio_ ... _mil veces gracias_ ... _que Dios te bendiga_ ...! Thank you...oh my God...a million times thank you...may God bless you...!"

Santiago quickly ran after me. "Brother! Where are you going?"

"I have some business to take care of." I told him simply.

"Wait Machete! We need to talk." He grabbed my arm-

I shrugged him off harshly. "We have nothing to talk about. You're no longer my brother..." I declared, still pissed Santiago had disappeared for five years without even saying goodbye. Brother...ha! What brother?

Santiago looked crestfallen. "Machete..."

I hoped I had hurt him as he had hurt me. I stalked off out of the Cabarete police station and decided to walk the entire way to Sol Caribe hotel. I made my way to Sol Caribe along the beach barefoot. It was a good two miles away but I enjoyed it. My crudely bandaged hand was throbbing from where Tito's bullet had painfully grazed it (I had merely tied the handkerchief my brother had given me around my hand).

Outside Sol Caribe I was met with an interesting sight: there was the Lady Blanca, fully dressed in a white Elizabethan-style dress with small red flowers on it. The dress had lots of frills and lace. The dress' bodice had red lace zigzagging up the front. She had on a white, broad-brimmed sunhat with a red ribbon around it. And there she was brushing _my_ horse Casanova as if it were the most natural thing for her to be doing.

I stomped towards her. "Lady Blanca..." I growled.

Blanca turned to face me, a quizzical look on her doll-like face. "Ah! Mr. Butler there you are! I've been waiting for you. You're late. I want to go on a picnic!"

My eye twitched. Just what could this crazy woman be up to now, I wondered. "A picnic?" I stumbled forward and nearly fell over I was so shocked by her request.

"Yes...in El Choco National Park...I want to have a picnic by the famous waterfall there..." Blanca explained, waving her hands through the air and with a smile on her face. Trying to look all innocent, no doubt...

"The waterfall? But that's deep in the forest." I knew of it.

"Which is why you're going to take me there, Mr. Butler. As my bodyguard." Blanca gave me a puppy-dog eyed look.

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the woman was up to and so I shrugged. "Ah, screw it! Fine, let's go to El Choco Park, if that's what you really want, _señora_ ..." I added, trying to be civil. Yes, it was very hard being a gentleman.

I also couldn't help but be disappointed that I wouldn't be getting to strip Blanca's clothes off and write ' _chica mala_ ' on her forehead since, for now, she appeared innocent.

Blanca smiled sweetly at me. "Oh, it is, kind sir."

I mounted Casanova and helped Blanca to mount behind me. Then I picked up her oddly heavy picnic basket. It must have weighed about fifty pounds, and off we went. We arrived at the entrance of El Choco Park about thirty minutes later. The tropical forest was thick with plants and shrubs, and one couldn't enter any further on horseback, so we were forced to dismount and tie Casanova to a nearby palm tree with some rope.

All of my hot-blooded anger was dissipating as Blanca returned to her normal lady-like manner. I smirked slightly as I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was really just too cute.

We approached the dense, tropical forest and I realized we would have to make a path in the deep brush if we were to get through and so I whipped out my machete. I gave Blanca one last incredulous look, "Are you absolutely sure you want to go all the way to the waterfall to have this picnic of yours... _señora_ ..." I looked Blanca over from head to toe, in her fluffy Elizabethan dress - that bodice of hers looked uncomfortably tight. How did women breathe in those things? I decided I'd ask Amano about it later.

"Yes, I've always wanted to see a waterfall, you see, but with my sickly body it was an impossibility...my father would never let me go on such a dangerous adventure. But now that I have my own personal bodyguard...that makes the impossible possible doesn't it? You'll help me make one of my dreams come true, right Mr. Butler?"

At her hopeful look and ladylike manner, I was lost. She reminded me of Sebastian again...and how as we told him stories of our adventures there would be this gleam in his eyes...he probably wanted to go on adventures as badly as Blanca did now. Perhaps, I should have just carried Sebastian on my back and taken him for a wild adventure sometime. Unfortunately, I couldn't do this now since Sebastian had also disappeared like my brother a few years ago.

I shook my head. Now was not the time to be thinking of such things. I bowed. "Your wish is my command, _señora_."

Blanca looked pleased. "Indeed. Here take the basket." She handed me the picnic basket abruptly. But I took it without complaint. It wasn't so bad, pampering her.

I led the way, clearing a path through the tropical forest with my new and very sharp machete. Soon sweat was pouring off my body from the exertion. The jungle was filled with exotic plants and animals. Blanca, a well educated, merchant's daughter, began to point out the various flora to me as we passed them by. "That's a bread fruit tree. If you cook a breadfruit it tastes just like a potato and they're much less expensive. That tree over there is a mango tree. That plant there with the leaves that resemble a fish tail is the Fishtail Palm or _Palma Cola de Pescado_. Those trees there with the small pink flowers and gnarled trunks are called Moon Trees. To make more moon trees you simply cut a branch off from an original Moon Tree and during the night of the full moon you stick this branch into the ground and it will grow. That over there is an avocado tree. Ah, and you see that plant with the large green leaves?"

"Yes..." I nodded, distracted, since I was busy thinking about how I'd come back and retrieve all of those breadfruit later.

"The plant looks harmless but the first travelers who came to this island made an awful discovery. When they had to go to the bathroom they spotted those large, round, green leaves and decided to use them to wipe themselves clean with. However, that plant causes painful sores...!"

"I see."

"And you see that plant over there with the large, round leaves and sinister looking bumps on its surface?" Blanca pointed to the other plant.

"Yes."

"That plant looks suspicious but that's the plant you'd want to use during an 'emergency' – it's completely harmless." Blanca assured me.

"Good to know." I smiled at her and returned back to my work of hacking the forest to bits. (If there was one thing a _dominican_ man with a machete knew how to do it was chopping stuff down. If you wanted to have a nice garden in the DR all you would have to do is fire your current _dominican_ gardener and everything would grow like crazy until you would have a rainforest for your garden.)

A sly smile passed fleetingly across Blanca's face.

We reached a small, pebbled stream and I began to walk across it. "Ahem!" Blanca cleared her throat loudly and I turned to look at her. She raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't actually expect me to be able to walk across that do you?"

I blinked at her. What was I supposed to do then? "Er...?"

"You'll have to carry me across, of course." Blanca informed me.

I grinned. Ah. I had absolutely no problem with this and so approached Blanca and scooped her up into my arms bridal-style. She was as light as a feather.

Blanca was a bit surprised by my fast, fluid motion. "Epp! Watch where you put your filthy hands, _dominican_!" Blanca snapped.

I gave Blanca a surprised look at her harsh insult as we started across but made no comment. Was she trying to make me angry with such a comment? Well, my hands _were_ dirty. And her dress _was_ mostly white so I decided to take it in stride, thinking for the most part that I deserved the comment. "Of course, _señora_. Forgive me." I replied. Yea, I know, I was acting like a total douche but I liked Blanca, okay, simple as that. When a man likes a woman he will do strange things, and put up with a hell of a lot of crap. Blanca's lucky she had piqued my interest or else I'd already have ditched her ass in the jungle. If Rosita's breasts were melons, the mermaid's coconuts then Blanca's would have to be grapefruits.

"Hmph!" She replied. I carried Blanca across the stream easily and set her down gently on the other side. We continued on our way and I continued to chop left and right, and was even beginning to enjoy myself on our little hike. Until-

Blanca and I reached a puddle, which she could have easily gone around. "Ahem." Blanca stopped in front of the puddle and gave me an expectant look.

"Ohhh you want me to carry you," I started towards her, looking forward to getting to have Blanca in my arms once more, but-

Blanca held up her hand and shook her head at me. "No, take off your shirt..."

I gave her a quizzical look. "Huh?"

Blanca tapped her high-heeled silk shoe on the muddy jungle ground impatiently, "Take your shirt off and put it over the puddle so I can walk across."

I gave Blanca an incredulous look but she just stared back at me impassively. Santiago had just given me the red silk shirt...I hadn't acted happy at the time but I was pleased with Santiago's 'gift'. It was a very high quality, silk shirt...of a higher quality than I had EVER possessed since I was just a poor ex- _dominican_ thief...and now Sanky Panky in training.

And now Blanca wanted me to put the silk shirt onto a mud puddle? I couldn't help but feel angry at this. My hot, Latin blood pulsed through my veins. How dare she, request something so selfish?! The spoiled wench.

But...I _was_ the Lady Blanca's butler for the time being. A butler huh? What was a butler exactly? I remember Moreno explaining my new task to me so that I wouldn't screw it up:

"Remember Machete a butler is like a kind of personal servant and sometimes bodyguard that attends to his lady's needs and wishes. His _señora_ comes first. You'll need to be obedient, submissive, and servile – things that you are NOT usually, so I know it will be hard. But just remember that's how a butler is supposed to act and how a _butler_ is supposed to be treated...it's nothing _personal_." Was what Moreno told me.

My _señora_ 's wish was my command.

I took my shirt off and tossed it down onto the mud puddle. Blanca hefted up her skirts and walked on top of my red silk shirt and across the mud puddle. I watched as the fine, red shirt became filthy. I reached down to retrieve the shirt but Blanca stopped me.

"What are you doing, _dominican_? Leave that trash and let us continue our journey." Blanca insisted with an impatient air.

I had no choice but to leave the shirt behind. I was a bit pissed by this but couldn't do anything about it. I was mad at Blanca but also mad at myself for caring about a stupid shirt to begin with.

"Do you mind if I sing?" Blanca questioned out of the blue. "It will help to pass the time until we arrive at the waterfall..."

I felt my anger draining from me at the prospect of getting to hear Blanca sing again. I only vaguely remembered her singing at ONNOS but recalled that it had been impressive. I grinned at her. "I wouldn't mind at all, _Señora_ Blanca."

Blanca looked surprised by my enthusiastic response but quickly recomposed herself and then she began to sing. Once again I found that I couldn't understand the words and knew that they must have been in a foreign language.

Blanca's singing...once again it reminded me of nature. I got visual images in my head of crashing surf, soaring seagulls, vicious, towering, sea crags, playful dolphins, mermaids – it was enchanting.

" _Coñio_! Fuck!" I swatted at my arm. A vicious mosquito had bitten me ruining the moment. And then another mosquito landed on my other arm just after that and then another until I had an entire swarm of mosquitoes trying to bite my now shirtless torso. " _Coñio!_ " I turned to see if the mosquitoes were bothering Blanca and noticed that she was completely unaffected. Her blood must have been as cold as ice... _shit_. I grabbed Blanca's hand abruptly, "RUN!" I shouted at her.

"Ehhh?" Blanca began to object before I pulled her into a run with the swarm of mosquitoes chasing after me. That cloud of mosquitoes was moving unnaturally. I thought. I quickly grabbed Blanca and hid behind a palm tree with her-

We watched as the cloud of mosquitoes flew past and didn't see us. I furrowed my brow at those mosquitoes – did bugs normally act like that? I wondered. I shrugged it off and we continued on our way.

After a few uneventful minutes, Blanca began to sing again. Again, I tried to relax and pay attention to her beautiful, ethereal voice, however, some loud, creepy racket was interfering with Blanca's singing-!

" _Coñio_!" My eyes snapped open and I looked around the tropical jungle worriedly, "What is _that_ noise?"

Blanca had a serene look on her face, "Howler monkeys." She informed me simply.

I blinked. "Monkeys?" I looked around the forest. They sounded close – too close. These monkeys also didn't sound like any monkeys I had ever heard before – they sounded a lot more like tigers. Their call was this loud, deep, guttural growl. I looked up and my eyes widened as I noticed that the trees above Blanca and I were filled with Howler Monkeys. There must have been a hundred of them, at least. They had black fur and menacing looking faces. _Uh oh..._

"Rarrwww!" A Howler Monkey screeched as it leapt down and flew at my face. These weren't small, cute monkeys either this monkey had to have been at least forty five pounds. "Arghhh!" I cried as I grabbed the monkey and began to pry it off my face. I then flung it into the jungle. Its claws had scratched my face-

And then all the monkeys began to leap down from the trees in order to attack me! As if they were smart enough to want revenge for their comrade. "Lady Blanca!" I cried out in concern for her wellbeing. I had to protect her from these crazed, rabid monkeys! But when I turned to see how Blanca was faring I saw that the monkeys were completely ignoring her. _Huh?_

The monkeys latched onto my arms and legs and sunk their sharp teeth into my flesh without mercy. I cried out in pain. "¡ _Mierda!_ Shit!" I punched the monkeys off of me and thought about using my machete on them but...they were just dumb, wild animals. I had probably wandered into their territory stupidly, so this was probably my fault to begin with. I took my hand away from my machete.

I punched the last monkey off of myself and grabbed Blanca's hand again. "RUN!" We ran and hid behind a tree and watched as the angry mob of monkeys swung past us through the tree branches. Again, the monkeys had been acting quite strangely for animals...and once again the creatures had not attacked Blanca. I looked at Blanca out of the corner of my eye, giving her a suspicious look. No one could be that lucky.

Blanca caught me staring and gave me a tremulous smile, "That was so...scary." She began breathlessly. "Why didn't those monkeys attack me, I wonder...?" A worried look formed on Blanca's face.

Ah, so Blanca thought it was strange too, huh? It made her seem more innocent...and I noticed Blanca was trembling. I began to feel like a dick. I took Blanca into my arms and hugged her. "Don't be afraid. I'll protect you. I will make your dream of having an adventure come true, _Señora_ Blanca. I will become the sword that you fight with. I will become the shield that will protect you. You have nothing to worry about." Where did I come up with that shit? That was pretty good. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

_Señora_ Blanca's trembling stopped. "Yes..." She agreed in a soft voice, looking conflicted.

We continued our way through the tropical jungle. However, it would appear that our trials were far from over. Blanca would just begin her lovely singing when it would be interrupted by some jungle plague. Next it was snakes that began falling out of the palm trees. Several bit me, but I whipped out my machete and cut myself where they had bitten me. Then wasted no time in sucking out the venom and spitting it off into the bushes. Blanca gave me a horrified look when I did this and turned her head away. I had probably offended her delicate sensibilities with my crudeness, but I gave her a look as if to say 'What?'. I couldn't very well have let myself die just so I wouldn't offend her now could I?

Lastly, it was a plague of spiders. I was beginning to notice a pattern by this time. Blanca would sing, a plague would arrive and we would have to flee. I was covered in mosquito, monkey, snake, and spider bites by the time we finally exited the jungle and had miraculously reached the waterfall. I can only imagine what I must have looked like.

I heard a gasp behind me and turned to see Blanca staring at the waterfall with interest shimmering in her silver-blue eyes. She approached the waterfall as if in a trance. "So beautiful..." She murmured and I could see the cascading water reflected in her clear eyes.

_Now that is the real Blanca._ I thought to myself, realizing for a moment that she had finally let her guard down. I sighed and ran a hand back through my messy black hair. I gave her a bemused look. That look of hers, just then, made the entire journey through hell worth it. I chuckled at the thought and Blanca turned to give me a surprised look. "That look just now...made all of this worth it, _Señora_ Blanca. You look even more beautiful than usual when you smile like that. You looked so happy."

Blanca blinked. "Happy...?" Blanca put her hand to her lips to feel her smile as if she hadn't known it was there. Blanca shook her head. "Well, we made it. Let's have our picnic...shall we?"

I nodded and took the picnic basket over to a clearing by the waterfall and began to set up our picnic lunch. I laid out a tablecloth, set the basket down and began unpacking the basket. Blanca had packed finely sliced sweat meats, freshly baked bread, cheese, and fresh fruit. Apparently, she had also packed an aged Cabernet wine. I poured Blanca and myself a glass and handed it to her...

"Oh no...I couldn't possibly drink right now. I already feel dizzy from all that physical exertion. But go ahead and drink as much as you want Mr. Butler. You've earned it..." Blanca gave me a tremulous smile.

I grinned. "Thanks...I think I will." I helped myself to nearly half of the bottle of red wine and gorged myself on the food.

Blanca picked at her food like a bird, tearing small, dainty, delicate pieces of bread and cheese and putting them into her mouth. She also nibbled on a piece of apple. I shook my head at her...she should eat more...she was way too skinny.

I was covered in painful insect and animal bites, mud, and sweat. The calm pool before the waterfall was looking _very_ inviting indeed. I began to strip my pants off. Santiago had given me a pair of boxers too, in case you're wondering.

"Eeep!" Blanca cried and covered her eyes with her hands. "What do you think you're doing, y-y-you b-b-barbarian!" She stuttered.

"I'm going for a swim. Don't worry, _señora_ , I have a pair of boxers on under these pants." I declared in a teasing drawl as I took my pants off and flung them on a nearby rock along with my machete.

"That's not the point!" Blanca called out as I ran towards the pool of water and dove in while Blanca peeked through her fingers at me.

"Uncouth barbarian..." Blanca muttered. She spotted my machete and went over to pick it up. She stared at it curiously. She hid it under my pants and went to sit on the bank and watch me swim. Then she began to sing...

"Blanca, why don't you come in and join me!" I waved and called over to her, interrupting her singing.

Blanca gave me an incredulous look. "That would hardly be appropriate, Sir! I didn't bring my swimming suit."

I waved my hand dismissively through the air. "Proprieties are lost on a simple man like me. I'm no gentleman, just a simple _dominican_ , _señora_. It's hot...the water is cool and refreshing. That makes sense to me."

Blanca looked at the pool of water in front of the waterfall longingly. "Alright fine! But if you so much as touch me inappropriately _dominican_ I will...gut you!" She said lastly.

I smirked. Thinking that it would be highly unlikely that such a delicate flower could harm me in any way. "Fair enough." I agreed, nodding and giving her a serious look.

Blanca began to strip her Elizabethan dress off and I swallowed thickly. I was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. I was a hot-blooded young man. Sure, I had never paid attention to women before...but that was before I knew what sex was all about. Now sex took up a big chunk of what I thought about during the day. I was beginning to doubt whether or not I'd be able to control my lust if Blanca was half naked in the water with me. I was about to tell her to forget about it but by the time I looked back up Blanca was in only her white, under corset and a pair of matching bloomers.

I watched as she approached the water tentatively. I began to approach her in the water. She slowly made her way in and immediately tripped forward over a rock. "Ahhh!" She cried as she fell forward.

I was there to catch her, of course. I'm smooth like that. "We really have to stop meeting like this, _señora_." I said, my hands on her forearms.

Blanca looked up at me in surprise before her look turned into a glare. "Hmph!" She tried to pull her arms away from me. "Unhand me at once, _dominican_!" She said looking surprised by the strong grip I had on her arms. Resistance was futile.

"Don't be so stubborn, _señora_." I chided her and wondered why 'my lady' was beginning to come out in a sarcastic tone. "Here take my hand." I wrapped my hand firmly around hers and began to lead her out into the deeper waters of the pool.

"I don't need your help!" Blanca declared as she struggled in my grip.

We began to swim around together and Blanca seemed to become more relaxed. I grinned at her boyishly. She really was lovely. And her corset and bloomers were becoming nicely see-through. (I could even see her pink nipples through the material of her corset). I decided I should take the Lady Blanca swimming more often. If just so I could have an excuse to ogle her.

I held both of her hands and made her kick under the pretense of 'teaching' her how to swim. I then held her by the waist as I lifted her out of the water and spun her around for fun. She was such a light, little thing. And then somehow she had ended up in my arms with her hands on my chest and her body was slightly pressed against mine. She looked up and gave me a quizzical look. I reached out to touch her cheek. However-

Our romantic moment was destroyed when I felt a fierce grip on my leg and I was pulled under the water. I let go of Blanca and instinctively pushed her away from me. I turned around underwater to see that an alligator had grabbed my leg. Blood was gushing out into the water. Just great. I really did have the most rotten luck. I reached down and began to pry the alligator loose from my leg-

I punched the beast on its forehead and stunned it. It let me go temporarily. I quickly tackled the alligator and wrapped my arms around the alligator's mouth so that it couldn't open its jaw and attack me. Alligators have weak jaw muscles. Their strength when clamping down upon something is completely different from the strength they are able to use when they're trying to open their jaws.

And so, this is how I ended up wrestling an alligator. I hoped Blanca was alright. I struggled with the creature before wrapping my arms around its neck and twisting. I broke the poor beast's neck but there was really no choice – at that point it was either kill or be killed.

Feeling cranky, I emerged from the water and looked around for any sign of Blanca. There was no sign of her until she emerged out from behind some palm trees, fully dressed, and with an unreadable expression on her face. "You survived. You can wrestle alligators into submission too...?" She gave me a blank, almost accusatory stare.

I stomped towards her and grabbed her arms and looked her over concernedly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes...we should be going. Hurry up and get dressed, _dominican_." Blanca directed me coldly.

I opened my mouth to respond impudently, however, my stomach made an odd rumbling sound. _Ugh!_ I was going to be sick...! "I...I'll be right back! I gotta go to the bathroom!" I ran off into the bushes. I suddenly really needed to take a shit. Talk about bad timing...!

I squatted down behind some bushes and relieved myself. I rarely got food poisoning and wondered what had made me sick like this. _Ughhh! Ow, my poor stomach._ After I had taken care of business and realized I had no toilet paper...crap! No pun intended. That's when I noticed this plant with large leaves and nubs on it...that would have to do for now. I quickly grabbed the leaf and wiped my ass with it. I pulled up my wet boxer shorts back on and made my way back to Blanca.

I grabbed my pants and stuck my machete back into my sash belt. I was ready to leave that tropical jungle too. I picked up the picnic basket and was surprised that it was still so heavy. But I just shrugged it off. I followed our path back through the jungle quickly and Blanca tried her best to keep up with me in those stupid high heels of hers.

"Ahh!" I heard a soft cry and turned to see Blanca on the ground, gripping her ankle in pain.

"Lady Blanca!" I ran to her side feeling stupid. Smooth Machete, real smooth.

Tears were shimmering in her eyes. "I think I sprained it..."

" _Coñio_." I knelt before her with my back to her, "Come on, get on. I'll carry you the rest of the way."

Blanca's eyes widened at my offer. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Blanca got on my back, piggyback style and I took off into the jungle once more. Blanca began to sing. And the hair on the back of my neck started to prickle. I sensed another 'jungle plague' on its way.

" _Growwwwl~_ " I heard a low growl and wondered if it was another howler monkey. But then from out of the bushes in front of us appeared a gigantic white wolf. I could feel Blanca humming because her body was pressed up against my back. She was still singing even in this situation? I thought. Suddenly, I became angry and suspicious. I let go of Blanca and let her fall off of me and she hit the ground.

"Hey! Mr. Butler!" I turned around and faced her and pulled her to her feet roughly, a strange glint in my eye. "Let's try an experiment." I declared and put my hand over Blanca's mouth. "Stop humming, or I'll snap your pretty little neck." I growled.

Blanca's eyes went wide in fright and she nodded helplessly in my arms. I put Blanca before me like a shield as the wolf approached us. She began to struggle in my grasp. I had a theory...I wasn't the sharpest tool in the toolbox but...I was beginning to think Blanca's singing had something to do with the animals attacking me.

If I was wrong I was fully prepared to protect Lady Blanca. If I was right, well, that was another story.

"Now little bird why don't you sing before the wolf decides to rip your throat out." I snarled and removed my hand from Blanca's mouth.

Blanca immediately opened her mouth and began to sing. As soon as she began to sing the wolf stopped in its tracks. The wolf then stopped growling and it instantly became docile. It sat down on its haunches, quirked its head at us, and even began to wag its tail. It looked like a harmless little puppy for God's sake!

"Interesting." I said before I turned and slammed Blanca into a palm tree with my hand wrapped around her slim throat. "So it was your doing! All this time...the mosquitoes, the monkeys, the snakes, the spiders, the alligator and now the wolf. You were trying to kill me!" I accused, my temper getting the better of me and my violent tendencies finally showing themselves.

"Not kill you...test you..." Blanca gasped.

"HUH?!" I shouted at her.

"You're not who you say you are, Mr. Butler..." Blanca continued.

I wondered what that had to do with the price of beans. I was beginning to lose my patience. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't snap your neck, woman!" I barked, finally snapping and losing my temper.

Blanca had a triumphant look on her face. "There...that's the real you...you're no servile butler."

Tears began to stream down Blanca's face because of the physical pain I was causing her due to my hard grip on her throat, and I began to realize just what I was doing. I had lost my temper, snapped in my anger, and hurt her. Even if Blanca was trying to kill me...I immediately loosened my hold on her neck-

And Blanca suddenly had a one shot pistol pressed against my temple. Apparently, she had that thing hidden in that corset of hers somewhere. "Now you're going to tell me who you _really_ are, pirate!"

I blinked back at her in shock and put my hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Pirate? I'm not a pirate..."

"Then what _are_ you? Who sent you to spy on me! Was it Captain Wrath?!" Blanca shrieked. I could see a gleam of fear in her silver-blue eyes. Was she that afraid of this Captain Wrath person? Just who was he? And what did he have to do with the Lady Blanca? Why was she beginning to tremble like that?

"Spy?" I scratched my cheek bashfully. "You've got it all wrong, _señora_. I'm just a pathetic Sanky Panky." For some reason I wanted to sooth her worries.

"A what? Sanky Panky...?!" Blanca demanded, her gun hand trembling.

I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair as I gathered my thoughts in order to explain this to her. "A Sanky Panky is a male sex worker who-"

"You're a male prostitute?!" Blanca exclaimed, appalled.

"Not exactly, you see, a Sanky Panky tries to find a rich _gringa_ merchant's daughter to-" I was trying to explain.

"So you're after my money?!" Blanca looked at me in disbelief. "Ah, the irony of that!" She lowered her pistol and to my surprise she began to laugh, a relieved expression formed on her face. She wiped a tear from her eye. "I get it now...you've been trying to seduce me?"

"Yea..." That wasn't exactly it, but I decided we'd just go with that.

Blanca gave me an amused look. "You've been doing a lousy job, Mr. Sanky Panky."

_Tell me about it._ I sighed heavily. _At this rate I'm never getting laid._ "Er..."

"Hmmm," Blanca tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked me over from head to toe, "A male prostitute huh? You must be good if women pay _you_ for sex..."

"Well, it's not exactly like that," I tried to explain it to her again.

"Then...how about I put you to the test, Mr. Sanky Panky. Let's see how much silver I think your skills are worth." Blanca purred, as she put a hand on my chest and played with my chest hair.

I gawked at her new personality change, and blinked back at her in shock. Lady Blanca had turned from proper lady to sultry seductress. "Huh?" How had it come to this?! _God...! Thanks dude. You're a swell guy._

"A male prostitute...hahaha...is that all? I was worried for nothing." Blanca muttered and turned to me. "Hurry up, let's go back!" She stomped off and I realized her ankle wasn't sprained.

"Hey...your ankle!" _This woman...!_ I shook my head wondering if I should be angry with her but as I watched her sashaying hips in front of me finding it very hard to be so.

"Oh, I'm perfectly okay. I was just trying to make you snap – leave that picnic basket behind too – it's full of rocks." Blanca informed me offhandedly.

"Huh?!" I looked into the picnic basket, and noticed that it had a fake bottom. I lifted the fake bottom up and sure enough the hidden compartment was filled with rocks! I ran after Blanca. "You're no sickly merchant's daughter are you?" I remembered the gun pressed to my temple, and the fierce look in her eyes. She had been prepared to kill me.

"No shit."

"Tell me who you are!" I called after her.

Blanca spun around to face me. "If I tell you...I'd have to kill you, Mr. Sanky Panky. And we haven't even had our fun yet." She winked at me.

I scratched my head, and gave her a bemused look. _Crazy lady! Beautiful...but completely nuts!_

We exited the jungle and I mounted on Casanova. I held my hand out to help Blanca mount behind me. "No need." Blanca declared as she effortlessly jumped up into the saddle behind me like a pro.

I shook my head. _What a woman._

***

This is how I ended up lip locked with Blanca, as we were about to enter her room at the Sol Caribe Hotel. I don't remember who initiated the kiss but...I was being swept away by my white _princessa reina_ ...

She was a good kisser, experienced probably. Blanca was no sheltered merchant's daughter. But then who was she really? She had been worried that I had been a spy – only to be relieved when it turned out I was just a Sanky Panky, or as she liked to think of me: a male prostitute.

Yep – as Blanca shoved her tongue down my throat – she seemed _very_ relieved.

She shoved me into the bedroom boldly and closed the door behind us using her foot. She then began to lead me over to the bed. We began to kiss each other passionately again and articles of clothing went flying across the room.

We somehow ended up on the bed and Blanca was straddling me. Blanca had turned from prim and proper lady to wildcat. I will admit that I didn't really mind...

But...? _I_ was supposed to be the skilled lover and so I flipped Blanca over onto her back and began to nibble at her neck experimentally. Blanca gasped and pushed her hips up to press against me. This was getting dangerous...

I had this beautiful moon goddess on the bed, writing beneath me. I wanted to take her – possess her. Show her my so-called 'skill'. Claim her. I was suddenly feeling very nervous, however, since all my talk was just bravado. Heck, I didn't really know what I was doing. However-

The door burst open and-!

***

FLASHBACK

Five years earlier...

Hi. My name is Santiago. I'm Machete's philosopher brother. Just to set the record straight – I didn't abandon my family five years ago. This is what really happened. I had always had an interest in the merchant trade and had befriended the merchant Bartholomew. This is how I managed to get permission one day to come aboard his ship the _Behemoth_ and observe his current Quartermaster, who was in charge of keeping the accounting record of all the trades and transactions that were made by Bartholomew. I was even allowed to take notes. The Quartermaster was the captain's right hand man. He was in charge of making sure the crew kept the rules of the ship and if not it was his duty to carry out the punishment.

Bartholomew looked over my shoulder as I did this and noticed that my notes were both well written and meticulous. I had made accurate notes on his trade transactions and my notes were even more accurate than his, which enabled him to notice a few discrepancies. Apparently, someone was stealing from him. "Hmmm," He looked thoughtful. "I'm impressed...those are better records than my actual Quartermaster has been keeping of my trade transactions. How would you like to be my new Quartermaster?" Bartholomew asked me on a whim. People with money, or who were in charge of things were prone to 'whims' and everyone else was at their mercy.

"Sir?" I blinked up at Captain Bartholomew through my spectacles in surprise.

"Eric you're fired. Santiago you're now my new Quartermaster. We sail to the isle of Tortuga now!"

"Ehhhh?" Eric looked at Bartholomew in shock. "Sir! You can't do this to me..."

I gawked at merchant Bartholomew. "Huh? We leave right now? But I need to tell my mother and brother where I'm going (and why) or they'll be worried. Especially my mother. She'll be worried sick."

Bartholomew gave me a determined look. "I need someone loyal to me, someone who won't stab me in the back, and rob me like my last Quartermaster." Bartholomew shot Eric a disappointed look and shook his head. "I need someone who is willing to drop everything and follow me on this latest trading venture. Are you that man, Santiago? I don't like people who do things half-heartedly."

A steely look formed in my eyes and I saluted Captain Bartholomew. "Yes Sir, I am your man, Sir!" I had never done anything 'half-heartedly' in my life. This was my dream – to become a Merchant Captain's Quartermaster and be in charge of the ledgers of a merchant ship.

I had studied countless hours to learn how to manage a ship's finances and accurately record trade transactions. I had always been very good with numbers. This was actually a job that I could do. In fact, it was probably just about the only job I'd really be good at. This was my chance to make it big. The opportunity that had been presented before me was merely this - I could leave with Bartholomew right then and become a Quartermaster. And I'd surely return, perhaps in a year, to the DR with money for my sickly mother and for Machete. Perhaps I could gain Bartholomew's trust and convince him to let my wayward brother Machete become a part of the crew. I knew it was Machete's dream to leave The Dominican Republic, to head to another island for adventure, and to make his fortune. To pursue strength.

I decided to leave with Bartholomew that same day without getting to say goodbye to my mother or Machete, and I became Captain Bartholomew's new Quartermaster. Our trading voyage took much longer than I had anticipated however. We traveled to several different islands where we both sold and purchased goods, only to head to the next island and do the same thing for the next five years.

And then we came to Transylvania Island, where Bartholomew returned to the _Behemoth_ with a stunning, golden-haired woman with blue-gray eyes, who he claimed was his daughter, in tow...

Well, it wasn't unusual for sailors or merchants or pirates to have lovers at the various islands they visited and to father children with these women, so who was I to judge Bartholomew for having such a beautiful, eligible daughter?

Apparently, Blanca's mother was a woman who lived on Transylvania Island, and he hadn't been back to Transylvania Island for several years. The last time he saw Blanca she was nothing but a child and now she was a young lady. He decided he didn't want to leave Blanca on that island because her mother had died and Blanca would be left there all alone. Blanca's sad tale had moved me to tears. _Poor lady!_ I thought shaking my head and blowing my nose with my handkerchief. _A true victim of circumstance but...maybe I can be of help to her?_ I thought.

"Sir, I vow to look after your daughter and to protect her with my life. So that such sad misfortune will never come to befall the Lady Blanca ever again!" I told this to Bartholomew with tears in my eyes, a fierce look on my face, and my fist raised adamantly before me. I had appointed myself Blanca's personal bodyguard on a passionate impulse.

Captain Bartholomew was an interesting man with a fascinating past. He used to be a privateer but having amassed a large fortune had decided to chose a different, more honest path and become a merchant. Since he had once been a privateer if his ship ever came under attack Bartholomew had one simple strategy. Fight back.

Our merchant ship the _Behemoth_ was unlike most merchant ships that were fat and slow. Bartholomew's ship was built for speed and had limited storage space making it lighter. Also it had several cannons onboard for our battles against pirates.

Captain Bartholomew was also skilled in hand-to-hand combat. It was Bartholomew who taught me how to use a sword and even the basics of Kung Fu. He told me that I needed the skill of swordmastery to be able to defend myself if pirates ever boarded the _Behemoth_. I told Bartholomew I had an aversion to fighting and spilling blood, however. But he told me my swordsmanship was for self-defense and to protect my friends. Now my swordsmanship would help me to protect the lady Blanca's honor as well.

Bartholomew was so impressed by my sudden declaration to protect his daughter with my life that he clapped me hard on the shoulder and smiled. "Santiago...I never had a son. I'm forty-seven-years-old...and only have a daughter, Blanca. Do you like, Blanca?"

I blushed and averted my eyes. "What's not to like, Sir?"

He chuckled at my shyness. "What if I were to propose that you marry my daughter, Blanca and become my son-in-law. My son..." Bartholomew gave me a hopeful look.

"Sir!" I looked at Bartholomew, teary-eyed. "I would be most honored, Sir!"

And this is how I became Blanca's fiancé.

Five years later...

I was finally returning to the Dominican Republic as a Quartermaster and engaged to a merchant's daughter. I had money. I was no longer a ' _chopo_ ' 'poor bum'. I was a real man. I knew my mother and brother would both be proud of me. My chest swelled with pride. Mother and Machete were sure to praise me for my accomplishments...

However, as soon as I arrived at Ocean Sand's Harbor, it was business first. We had to unload our cargo, collect money, and buy supplies and more. I was so busy with all this I hadn't even been able to escort my lovely fiancé back to our hotel. Bartholomew, however, had assured me that Blanca was in good hands. Apparently, he had hired her a _dominican_ servant to act as her personal butler.

I was skeptical when I heard about this at first because I knew the _dominican_ people, my people. Most of the men were thieves or con artists.

Good hands? He had said. I highly doubted it. And so I tried to finish my work as quickly as possible so that I could rejoin my fiancé.

I had finally finished my work a couple of days later, and decided to go and visit my mother before returning back to my fiancé. But I was heading home when I spotted my brother walking through town buck naked and getting into a fight with the Merchant Police. I was in a coach at the time with my luggage and watched as the police finished beating my brother into a pulp before tossing his limp body into the back of their police coach and taking off towards the Cabarete police station. It had all happened so fast I didn't even have the chance to try and stop it.

"Driver! To the Cabarete police station!" I told my driver, who pulled on the reigns of our horse, stopped the coach and turned us around so that we were now heading towards the police station.

Once there I learned that my wayward brother had been arrested for 'indecent exposure'. How embarrassing! I truly hoped my fiancé wouldn't find out about this. I paid his bail and fished out some of the clothes I had purchased at Tortuga Island, planning to give them to my brother upon my return.

Contrary to what I had expected, my brother had _not_ been pleased to see me. He had become even more stubborn and hotheaded than when I had left him. He was convinced that I had abandoned our mother and didn't even give me the chance to explain. My poor brother was a beast – a wild animal, uncivilized, crude...

So different from me. We seemed worlds apart. It was like there was this ravine that separated us now. How could I extend my hand across that ravine and reach my brother? I wondered.

Feeling dejected and more than a little disappointed I made my way by coach to my mother's house. It was the same if not a little more dilapidated than I had left it. I made a mental note to begin renovations immediately. After the lousy reunion with my brother I was very worried about my upcoming reunion with my mother. But I had better results.

I found my mother resting in her bedroom. "Mother...I'm home." I said sheepishly as if I'd only been gone for a few hours and not years.

My mother gathered her strength to sit up in bed, and tears filled her eyes. She put a hand in front of her mouth. "Santiago..."

I rushed to my mother's side and embraced her and could feel my mother's frail arms embracing me in return. She had gotten even thinner. She was nothing but skin and bones now. Like a will-o'-wisp...I had the feeling she could just blow away and disappear. She had gotten more frail and weak. And yet she was still beautiful. Like a pressed flower that was beautiful but fragile to the touch - one touch and the flower could be turned to dust in an instant. "Mother...I'm so sorry. I..." I began to apologize but Esperanza shook her head and put a finger to my lips.

"You don't have to explain. What's important is that you're here, now. You look well..." She eyed my expensive suit. "I'm glad. I'm proud of the man you've become."

I beamed at my Mother, she was proud of me. It made my heart swell. "Mother...I brought you a little something." I handed her a round paper box.

Esperanza took the box into her hands and gently lifted the lid off. She peered inside the box and saw a miniature, black top hat with a lot of feathers on it and a thin veil attached to it. My mother took out the dainty, delicate, feminine hat and held it in her hands gingerly. These tiny hats that sat on the side of a lady's head were the most popular thing among the wives of rich merchants, apparently. They were called ' _Fascinators_ '.

"Here..." I reached forward and took the hat from my mother before helping her to pin it to the side of her head. "You wear them on the side of your head, like this. It's the latest fashion trend on the islands, or so I'm told." I held up a mirror so my mother could look at her reflection.

She smiled. "It's beautiful..."

"You're beautiful." I corrected her. "Mother...I have money now. I can buy you better medicines...a nicer house...new clothes..."

Mother shook her head. "It would be wasted on me. Give it to Machete...he needs to spread his wings and fly, Santiago. Machete is like a caged bird living here in the DR – he needs _freedom_."

"Mother I-" I wanted to insist that she pamper herself but-

That's when Machete's two friends – Moreno, the panty thief, and Amano, the closet-transvestite, burst through the door.

"ESPERANZA!"

I spun around to glare at them, adjusting my spectacles on my face. "Lower your voices, you fools! Can't you see my mother is trying to rest! What are you two even doing here?!"

Moreno and Amano's eyes were both wide as they caught sight of me. "Santiago...you're back?" Moreno gaped at me. He looked even dumber than usual. I wondered briefly if 'stupidity' was contagious and decided to take a step away from him just in case.

"Santiago," Amano gave me a stupid looking sentimental look, "You didn't really abandon them did you?" He questioned tentatively.

"Of course, I didn't you fool! I became Captain Bartholomew's Quartermaster. I'm going to be his son-in-law too!"

Moreno and Amano exchanged a worried look at my final statement.

"Bartholomew's son-in-law? Does Bartholomew have a second daughter?" Moreno asked.

I glared. "What? No, you fool! I'm the Lady Blanca's fiancé. Bartholomew only has one daughter."

Amano paled. "Uh oh..."

I narrowed my eyes at Amano. I suddenly had a bad feeling about all this. "Uh oh...what?"

Moreno came over to pat my shoulder in a consoling gesture. "I'm sorry, _amigo_. But you snooze you lose. The Lady Blanca...is going to marry, Machete."

"WHAT?!" I burst out.

"We just saw them at the Sol Caribe Hotel getting hot and heavy-" Amano admitted, wringing his hands together nervously.

Moreno slapped a hand over Amano's mouth and laughed nervously. "You can't stop LOVE, _mi amigo_." He gave me an apologetic look.

Grrrrr! I was so pissed. I clenched my fists at my sides angrily. "Machete...! You would dare to dishonor my fiancé!? I'll...kill you!" I ran out of my home with Moreno and Amano hot on my heels.

"Wait Santiago!" They called after me.

I freed the coach horse, mounted the steed, and rode off at a gallop to the Sol Caribe Hotel. I stormed inside the hotel and made my way to the second floor. I raised my hand to knock on Blanca's door and thought the better of it. I kicked the door in and strode inside. I then reached the bedroom door and flung it open. The sight that met me was Blanca on the bed with a naked Machete on top of her...!

"Machete!" I roared and unsheathed my cutlass. "Die!" I charged my brother, prepared to run him through.

Machete turned towards the door, caught sight of me and his eyes widened in shock. "Oh crap!" Machete quickly rolled off the bed and just missed getting impaled by my sword.

"Blanca?!" I turned to face my fiancé, "Are you alright?"

Blanca wrapped her arms around her chest and gave me a frightened look, tears filling her eyes. "Santiago...thank God...he!" Blanca gave Machete an accusatory stare.

I reached my hand out and cupped Blanca's cheek. She pressed her cheek into my hand and gave me a relieved look. "Don't worry, my sweet. Just let me handle this." I told her and Blanca nodded. I patted her head and returned my attention back to my perverted brother.

Machete pushed himself up off the floor and gawked at Blanca. "What the hell is this?" Machete turned to face me (still naked) a confused look on his face. "What's going on?" I wondered when my brother had become such a good actor.

"I will protect my lady's honor." I declared pointing my cutlass at Machete. "I am the Lady Blanca's fiancé!"

"Fiancé?!" Machete gaped at me, "No way..." He glared at Blanca as if this was all her fault.

"You will pay for dishonoring my fiancé, Machete!" I lunged at Machete.

"Hey, no one's 'dishonored' anyone yet. You interrupted us remember?" Machete dodged out of the way. "Oi! That was dangerous! That could have really hurt me! Crap. Can't we discuss this? This is all just a big misunderstanding...that woman...she...!"

"Idiot. That's because I _was_ trying to hurt you, kill you rather. And discuss this?" I said as I swung my cutlass and nearly beheaded Machete as he ducked – I took a few hairs with the blow. "Since when are you one for conversation, Machete? No, you're a man of action, of fists and blows. So that's how we'll communicate."

Machete watched as several locks of his hair fell to the floor. He was unarmed and I was out for blood. But I would soon discover that Machete wasn't the same Machete as he had been five years ago. I watched as Machete took a deep breath and got into a fighting stance.

[MACHETE VS SANTIAGO] FIGHT!

"Have it your way, let's communicate _hermano_!" He agreed loudly.

I raised my eyebrow at my brother wondering what the hell he was up to and charged him, expecting to run him through. My brother, however, lithely dodged my attacks. Jab. Evade. Slash. Evade. Stab. Evade. I lunged my sword forward and watched it go over Machete's shoulder-

Then Machete turned sideways and delivered a sidekick to my stomach-

"Oof!" I staggered backwards and looked at Machete in shock. I charged him again, holding my sword in my two hands and brought it down upon Machete in a high downwards slash.

Machete didn't move and I wondered if my sword really would slice my brother in two. However, Machete raised his hands and using his palms caught the blade of my sword.

I blinked back at my brother in shock. How did he just do that? It wasn't humanly possible – was it? "How?"

Machete yanked my sword out of my hands and tossed my blade aside.

"It's all a misunderstanding, _hermano_! That vixen has played us for fools!" Machete declared before he punched me hard across the face-

With such force my spectacles flew off my face – broken – and I fell backwards to the floor. I looked up and could see the blurry image of my brother approach me. _Shit._ I was absolutely helpless.

My brother moved to punch me – I think. I couldn't really see the move very well and then I saw my brother's fist an inch away from my face, seconds later. But his fist didn't keep moving forward it just stayed there.

And then that fist turned into a hand up. I let out a breath of relief and took my brother's hand and he helped me up.

"Don't call my fiancé a vixen." I warned.

"Well, your 'fiancé' is already long gone..." Machete shrugged.

"Huh?" I said eloquently and squinted towards the bed. Sure enough, Blanca was no longer there.

"She played us, bro. She made us fight each other just now...she's _not_ what she at first appears to be." Machete scratched his head. "Although I still haven't figured out just what or who she is yet. That woman is a total mystery."

"Blanca...played me?" My heart clenched painfully in my chest. I had known all along that Blanca was too good for me. That it wouldn't last. "But then, who is she exactly?"

Machete scratched the back of his neck. "Now that is what I'd like to know. So brother..." Machete squeezed my hand painfully. "You have some explaining to do...it's been five years." Machete raised his brows at me and gave me an expectant look.

I squeezed my brother's hand back with equal force. I wasn't such a pushover anymore. "I didn't abandon you guys. I became Captain Bartholomew's Quartermaster. That day...five years ago...when Bartholomew's ship was leaving for Tortuga he invited me along. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry, brother..."

Machete let go of my hand and shrugged. "I see...no big. Where did Bartholomew's ship the _Behemoth_ pick up Blanca anyways?"

"Transylvania Island. Why?" I gave Machete a curious look.

Machete shrugged again. "Never heard of it..." He muttered, looking frustrated. "I don't think we'll be seeing her any time soon, brother." Machete gave me an apologetic look.

"Yea..." I looked at the open door sadly. I had always had a feeling that woman might disappear on me one day like mist...

### Chapter 5: I must be huntin' treasure, cause I'm diggin' yer chest

[MORENO'S POV]

I was passing by the Ocean Sand's Harbor when I spotted them – pirates! A ship that was flying a Jolly Roger had come into the Ocean's Sand's Harbor. The ship was huge, with three tall masts and several sails: jib, forestay sail, foresail, foretopsail, foretopgallant sail, mainsail, topsail, topgallant sail, mizzen lateen sail, mizzen topsail, mainstay sail, topmast staysail, and a topgallant staysail. The ship had approximately twenty-four cannon. There were ten on the port gun deck, ten on the starboard gun deck, two bow chasers and two stern chasers.

From the main mast there was a standard Jolly Roger flag flapping in the wind: a solid black flag with a white skull and crossbones. But under that flag was also another Jolly Roger of a green sea serpent. My eyes widened when I recognized that Jolly Roger flying – that was the Jolly Roger of the infamous _Green Leviathan_! Captain Greed's ship! _Shit!_ This was so not good. According to the local paper the _Green Leviathan_ was going around and taking over nearby islands. I wouldn't have thought Captain Greed would want to take over this desolate and barren rock however, so I figured we were safe. Looks like I was wrong.

"Shit! Amano that's the _Green Leviathan_!" I shouted loudly.

Amano's eyes widened in realization. "Captain Greed's ship?! Shit! Shit! Shit! We're all doomed!" Amano declared and began to wring his hands together. "I'm too young and beautiful to die..." He moaned.

As the ship approached I saw movement on the _Green Leviathan_ 's upper and gun decks – the cannons were being moved into position and being aimed right at the Ocean Sand's Harbor. _Holy guacamole!_ "Uh...I think we need to get out of here...like now." I muttered.

An explosion suddenly rocked the harbor with a gigantic _boom!_

Too late.

"FIRE!" Came the Captain's order.

Suddenly, the harbor and surrounding warehouse buildings were being bombarded by cannon fire. Loud, ear-shattering booms filled the air around me. I put my hands over my ears. "Crap!" I grabbed Amano's wrist and began to pull him along as we tried not to get blown up. Buildings exploded behind us – shards of flaming wood debris flying through the air. The harbor was being destroyed...

An explosion close by sent Amano and I flying forward suddenly. I landed on top of him, half trying to shield him from the blast since he had such a delicate physique.

"If that's really Captain Greed then...Mayor Alejandro is in danger! I heard Captain Greed killed the mayor in Cuba and Turks and Caicos before taking over the islands..." Amano informed me.

A knowing glint came to my eye. "You're right...come on Amano. Let's go pay the mayor a visit." I didn't want to play the hero or anything. But when people needed help they got desperate. I wondered just how desperate the mayor was going to be for help when he found out Captain Greed was after his head.

The barrage of cannon fire had mercifully stopped. It had only been a warning. No one had been killed, only the harbor and the nearby warehouses had been destroyed. The _Green Leviathan_ was docking at what remained of the harbor, and Captain Greed and his crew would be disembarking soon and heading to take Mayor Alejandro's head.

Amano and I rushed to City Hall and burst through the front door. Mayor Alejandro was a shady, creepy, slime ball, extortionist. He did more harm than good in Cabarete Village. He was always coming up with new ways to extort money out of the _gringo_ merchants that came to the DR to invest – to perhaps stay, live here, build homes, or hotels. But after being extorted and scammed and threatened by Mayor Alejandro most merchants would give up on their 'dreams' of finding a piece of paradise in the DR and return to their icy island homelands.

When Amano and I burst through the front door of City Hall we discovered him already packing a trunk. Mayor Alejandro was a slippery, slimy snake who was about to make his escape.

"Mayor Alejandro! Just where do you think you're going?" I gave the man an incredulous look. "You're...escaping aren't you! You're just going to run away and let these pirates take over Cabarete Village?! You coward!" I yelled at him, filled with a sudden indignation. How did such a cowardly snake become mayor of Cabarete Village anyways?

Mayor Alejandro was a dark-skinned, fat man dressed in a white suit. He had good teeth, a few of them gold, a shaved head, pudgy fingers, and shifty, glassy fisheyes. He always seemed to have this guilty look on his face. But right then, he was giving me a rather frantic look instead. "Yes!" He cried. He closed his trunk haphazardly, and some of his clothes were sticking out. He tried to run past me but I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him in his tracks.

"You slippery snake! You need to order the Harbor Guard or the Merchant Police to attack the pirates and take care of them! You're the man in charge. It's all up to you now." I explained hastily. If Mayor Alejandro didn't order the Harbor Guard to do anything they'd just sit around and play dominos all day. No one actually did any work in the DR unless they were actually told to do so.

"Ha! The Harbor Guard?! They won't stand a chance against them...did you recognize that ship? That was the _Green Leviathan_ we've been hearing so much about...we're doomed!" Mayor Alejandro looked desperate. The Mayor was beginning to remind me of Amano. Seriously, Amano could be so negative.

"That's what I said," Amano nodded in agreement.

"Why did the _Green Leviathan_ decide to come here of all places?" Alejandro began to look around the room frantically as if he expected the pirates to just spring up out of nowhere. "It just doesn't make any sense..." He wrung his hands, and wore a shifty, guilty look on his face. "Revenge for...?" A frown came to Mayor Alejandro's face as he was remembering all of the bad things he'd done in his life most likely. He could probably feel his karma coming up to bite him in the ass.

I shook my head at him. This was pathetic. "You have a lot of enemies don't you? For you to be this afraid." But I couldn't help but agree with Mayor Alejandro. Who in their right mind would want to conquer The Dominican Republic? It didn't make sense...unless...they had some kind of a personal vendetta. That was the only logical explanation.

Amano was looking thoughtful. "The past always comes back to haunt us."

The sound of a violent scuffle taking place just outside the door was heard. Mayor Alejandro's bodyguards and the Harbor Guard were probably trying to stop pirates from entering City Hall. A series of loud shots being fired consecutively were heard next. "No, you can't go in there!" A frantic voice. Another loud shot. Followed by a heavy silence.

_Shit._ They were all dead, I realized.

I maneuvered Mayor Alejandro back into his chair and pushed him down into his seat. "It's too late to run away now...so you're going to sit there and try to look intimidating and brave and like you actually give a shit about Cabarete Village, got it?" I snarled viciously.

Mayor Alejandro was trembling in fear. He mutely nodded at me and pulled his crystal decanter over to pour himself a glass of rum. The decanter shook violently in his hand as he tried to pour himself his drink and rum splattered all over his polished mahogany table – pompous, rich, fatass swindler. I wondered how many people he had stolen from, scammed, and extorted to be able to afford all of this expensive furniture. Or better yet maybe he just robbed some poor _gringo_ 's home while they were away on a trading voyage and they still hadn't found out that their villa in the Caribbean was empty. Alejandro picked up his glass and downed the shot of rum in one gulp. "I'm going to die...I'm going to get decapitated like those other mayors..."

I walked over and threw Alejandro's suitcase over to one corner of his office. Amano and I had just taken our seats in front of Mayor Alejandro's desk when the office door was flung open and the Captain and some of the crew of the _Green Leviathan_ swaggered through the door-

The first to enter was the Captain whom I assumed was the infamous Captain Greed whom we'd been reading so much about in the papers lately and who had been pirating for the last decade or so. Recently, the news had reported that Captain Greed had changed his ship's name from the _Mad Captain_ to the _Greed Leviathan_ though the reason for the name change was unclear. And then suddenly Captain Greed was going around and taking over island after island seemingly on a path headed towards The Dominican Republic. But I never would have dreamed that this place would be his actual destination. The first thing that surprised me about Captain Greed was that he looked a whole lot younger than I would have thought. He looked to be in his late twenties, the same as Machete, Amano and I.

Captain Greed was the image all young boys conjure up in their minds when they think of an evil pirate captain. His appearance almost seemed laughably cliché to me. And for some reason I was reminded of the pirate stories that Machete used to tell our sickly friend Sebastian back in his permanent room at Cabarete Hospital. Those pirate captains were always dressed as Captain Greed was dressed now. Captain Greed was wearing one of those classic, large, pirate hats with a flashy red plume in it. He had on a long, emerald green and black jacket that had gold embroidery on it with large cuffs. He was wearing a pair of brown pants. There was a pair of black, knee-high leather boots, with low heels, and large cuffs on his feet. He was wearing a lacy, white cravat that had a large emerald broach pinned to its center. And I noticed that there was an abnormally large cutlass stuck into his belt...the blade of which looked more like bone than steel...

And then there was his monstrous face. He was wearing an eye patch over his right eye. The eye patch was overly large and hid almost half of his face. I thought I could see actual fish scales under the patch and on his skin, making me wonder just what he was hiding beneath that eye patch if not a blind eye. His left eye was a pale green. He had long, fair, blonde hair that seemed to have an odd green tinge to it. His complexion was pallid. There was something oddly familiar about that one pale green eye...but I couldn't place it.

After Captain Greed his pirate lackeys - his elite guard, no doubt, from the look of them - entered next.

Of course, my eyes were drawn to the two female pirates first. What? I'm a hot-blooded Latino man. What can I say? The first pirate girl my eyes were drawn to was an attractive, Asian woman with extremely large breasts. A leer stretched across my face as I looked her over. She was wearing a sleeveless, above-the-knee, _kimono_ -style, wrap dress that was black with the pattern of red skulls on it. There was a thick red _obi_ sash belt around her waist that had the image of a large black skull on the front of it. The back of the obi was tied in a large bow the ends of which fell down to the floor. _All girls should dress in short, revealing dresses like that._ I decided.

Big boobs that bounced up and down as she walked. Long, lithe legs. Knee-high, black leather boots with cuffs. Thick, black, silky, Asian hair. Straight bangs over her ruby-red eyes. And a high ponytail. Slightly pointed ears. Kissable lips. _Doable._ I decided as I continued to rake my eyes over her unabashedly.

The female pirate caught sight of me ogling her and she smiled revealing pointed incisors. She looked deeply into my eyes and I felt a powerful compulsion to get closer to her. It was almost like an unseen command and it took all my willpower to resist it even though I wasn't quite sure I was doing something like resisting the compulsion in the first place until the pieces of the puzzle fell into place and I realized what she must be: a vampire.

I swallowed thickly. This hot babe didn't seem so attractive to me anymore as I stared at her pointed incisors. Sure, this girl wanted me, but just to suck my blood. I also noticed the long, spear like weapon that she was holding in her hand and that had a curved blade on the end of it. I would later learn that this weapon was called a _naginata_ and was the weapon of choice for female _samurai_. I had heard stories about a group of _samurai_ called the Monster Hunter Clan who sailed the Seven Seas and hunted down monsters...like vampires. This woman must have been a Monster Hunter who had been turned into a vampire by her own prey. It was tragic really.

_Crap!_ I thought to myself when I realized _what_ she was. But... _damnnnn_ ...maybe getting eaten by such a beautiful woman wouldn't be such a bad way to go? I pondered. I shook my head of such thoughts and turned my attention instead to the other female pirate who was standing next to her.

I did a double take since the woman oddly resembled the Lady Blanca. She had straight, platinum blonde hair that reached the middle of her back and that had black highlights throughout. Her eyes were a silvery-gray, she had pale skin, and slightly pointed ears. She was wearing a long, white and black striped dress that had a black leather, underbust corset. She was wearing knee-high boots with cuffs. There was a black scarf tied around her head like a headband that had little skull and crossbones on it. A cutlass was strapped to her waist.

One of the pirate men was an intimidating character with skin as black as the night and yellow snake-like eyes. He was at least seven-feet-tall and all solid, rock hard muscles. There was a red bandana tied around his head. He had slightly pointed ears and pointed teeth making me wonder for a moment if he was another vampire, but there was something more feral, and beastlike about this one. He reminded me of a black wolf for some reason. He was bare-chested and there were blue, swirling tattoos on his body that looked like some kind of magical symbols. He had a necklace around his neck that suspiciously looked to be made out of human bones...

He was carrying a hammer slung over his shoulders and that looked like it probably weighed three hundred pounds. This hammer was enormous! There was no way this pirate dude was human. But I couldn't really nail down what he _was_ either. Some kind of monster, that much was obvious. He didn't seem to have the ability of compulsion like the vampire pirate chick either.

I turned my attention to the last two pirate men next. They were a couple of Goth weirdos. The man who was the taller of the two was the creepy, silent type. He had pale skin, pale lavender colored eyes and I couldn't see the bottom half of his face since he was wearing a black leather jacket that zipped up all the way to just under his eyes. The jacket was strange and almost resembled a straight jacket. It was all straps and buckles. He was wearing a pair of heavy, leather, combat boots. He also had gloves on his hands. Strange magical symbols had been embroidered into his leather jacket in a silver thread. And he was wearing silver earrings that had pentacles on them. I thought he might be some kind of magician. His eyes were cold and emotionless. He had long, white hair though he wasn't older than myself. There was a black pirate hat on his head with a white feather in it.

Then I noticed something strange. The man in the black straight jacket was holding a chain. The chain was long and I discovered as my eyes followed it that it was attached to a spiked leather collar that was around the pirate's neck, who was standing next to him. I shuddered. _What is with these freaks?_ I wondered. The collared pirate was lankier than the first and dressed in a provocative leather outfit. His tight leather shirt showed off his pale skin and midriff and his leather pants hung low on his hips. _Ew._ I shook my head. Who wanted to see that? I only found women attractive, thank you very much. This man was effeminate and slightly a-sexual, which put me on edge. He also appeared to be some kind of _slave_ to the first man. That was just sick, man.

The young man had silver colored hair, and strange, glowing gold eyes. Those eyes...had this crazed, hungry look in them. There was a lust for blood in his eyes and he had this unsettling smile on his face. The young man couldn't stop laughing for some reason. He'd been laughing to himself since he had arrived there, as if there was some kind of inside joke but one that I didn't know about yet. Whatever the joke was I had a bad feeling the joke was going to be on us. The young man licked his lips as he eyed us – looking at us like we were lambs for slaughter. I swallowed thickly. That was one creepy kid. He noticed me watching him and took out a dagger only to lick it slowly with his tongue. He ended up cutting his own tongue and I watched the drops of blood fall to the floor. He laughed at my disgusted look.

Mayor Alejandro tried to keep his cool. I had to hand it to the man that he hadn't crapped in his pants. Amano was trembling as the vampire chick tried to use her compulsion on him and I put a hand on Amano's shoulder and shook my head at him. "Don't give in." I said trying to draw him back.

Amano took a deep breath and gave me a thankful look, my touch on his arm like a lifeline. "Yea, sorry. I never thought I could feel such an intense desire for a woman..."

Mayor Alejandro clasped his hands together on the front of his desk so that they couldn't see his hands shaking. Alejandro gave Captain Greed an assessing look. It appeared Mayor Alejandro had gained mental strength in the fact he knew he was fucked regardless. "How can I help you, gentlemen? You're Captain Greed I presume...?" He eyed the man in the green coat.

"Gentlemen? He called _us_ gentlemen!" The creepy young man with the leather collar began to cackle.

The pirate captain approached Mayor Alejandro calmly and stood in front of his desk. I noticed that he looked at Amano and I out of the corner of his eye first. "No...Captain Greed was my father. Sadly, Captain Greed is dead."

_Ah, that explains why he's so young._ I thought.

Alejandro looked even more confused. "Then who are you? Why are you here?"

"The name I have managed to earn for myself is Captain Envy. Through my impressive acts of piracy I have won myself a spot in the Seven Deadly Pirates – those pirates that rule the Seven Seas. But the name I have fashioned for myself and which I prefer to be called is - Captain Tiburón. The Seven Deadly Pirates have only made me one of them because they have no choice but to acknowledge my strength. I have no interest, however, in being grouped with them. I suppose you don't recognize me, Mayor Alejandro? How disappointing. I remember you..." Captain Tiburón drawled.

Alejandro began to sweat. He was probably wondering what skeleton from his closet was about to jump out and strangle him. He took out a handkerchief and began to mop off the back of his neck and forehead as buckets of sweat began to pour off the smelly pig. "I've never met you before in my life!"

Captain Tiburón slammed his hands down on the desk and brought his face an inch away from Alejandro's. "Look into my eye, Mayor Alejandro. Look into the eye of the boy whose life you destroyed."

Alejandro was trembling now. "What? I...?!"

"It's me...Sebastian."

Alejandro's face went white – well, as white as a black man's face can go.

_Sebastian?!_ I started. Sebastian was Amano, Machete and my sickly, childhood friend. Sebastian and his father who was a _gringo_ doctor came to The Dominican Republic several years ago. Sebastian's father Dr. Julian wanted to open a hospital in Cabarete Village that would provide free help to the poor locals who couldn't afford medical treatment for their various ailments. Since he had been a rich _gringo_ doctor he actually did manage to open a hospital in Cabarete Village that was very successful. He provided free treatments to those who needed them and catered to the _gringo_ merchants who arrived in the DR suffering from seasickness, scurvy etc.

Cabarete Hostpial was once prosperous and made a lot of money while helping a lot of people at the same time, including Machete's mother, Esperanza, whom Doctor Julian provided medical treatments for – for free. Machete's mother Esperanza had always suffered from having a weak heart and her heart medications were the most expensive.

Doctor Julian had apparently become a doctor while trying to find a cure for his sickly son Sebastian. Even after he opened Cabarete Hospital in DR he continued to study medicine and look for a cure for his son.

...His shy son whom we had befriended. Sebastian had had a permanent room at Cabarete Hospital since he was bedridden. Machete, Amano and I would go to Sebastian's room to keep him company and to play (we were kids then) with him. We'd all play board games together, and card games. But what Sebastian liked most was when we told him adventure stories, or rather when Machete would recount the tales of his latest adventures on The Dominican Republic. He'd tell Sebastian all about the fights he got into with his fellow _dominicans_ , the Merchant Police and the merchants themselves. Machete would tell Sebastian about his plan to save up the money from his thieving and get a ship of his own and become a privateer, not a pirate like his father, who had abandoned him and his mother.

I remember seeing this odd gleam in Sebastian's eye when Machete would talk about going out to sea...

We had been best friends.

However, Mayor Alejandro went to extort money out of Dr. Julian, claiming the doc needed to have this and that, 'permits' and made up 'licenses' to practice medicine in the DR. Mayor Alejandro claimed Dr. Julian needed to pay the mayor this and that amount of money for the permits and licenses, and lastly to pay just so that Alejandro would stop bothering him...

But, after Dr. Julian paid once...Mayor Alejandro now saw Dr. Julian as a _gringo_ piggybank and kept going to Cabarete Hospital to extort money out of doc using various schemes and threats. Mayor Alejandro was in charge of the Merchant Police as well as the Harbor Guard. Mayor Alejandro was nothing but a Chihuahua – a little dog that was all bark and no bite. Without his 'muscle' Alejandro was nothing but a sniveling coward. Even so, Alejandro extorted Dr. Julian and his hospital into the ground until...Dr. Julian ran out of money ...

This also meant that there was no longer any money to help Esperanza with her weak heart nor any money left for Dr. Julian to continue his research for finding a cure for his sickly son. Because of this Dr. Julian became a desperate man. He shut down Cabarete Hospital and one day he just disappeared leaving his sickly son Sebastian behind. A few years after that Sebastian disappeared one day. But the pieces of this puzzle were slowly beginning to fall into place.

"Sebastian? Is it really you...?!" Startled, I stood up from my chair and stalked towards 'Sebastian' to confront him. I grabbed the front of his jacket and brought him eye to eye with me. I was never one to respect a person's personal space and I noticed Sebastian cringe as my bad breath wafted over his face. I could barely recognize my childhood friend. But as I studied his face closely and that pale green eye...it was unmistakable. It really _was_ him. " _Aye Dio mio_ ...it is you! Sebastian...you can walk!"

Thinking back on this encounter I was lucky Captain Tiburón really was Sebastian and our old childhood friend because if he hadn't been I'm sure I would have been killed on the spot for my audacious behavior.

Instead Sebastian merely grabbed my hands and shoved me off of him before giving me a condescending smirk. "No shit." He said as he wiped his hands off on his jacket as if my touch disgusted him. I was a little insulted; I had washed my hands just yesterday. "It's been a while, Moreno." He turned to give a nod of acknowledgement to Amano next. "Amano."

The feeling of his strength had shocked me as he shoved me off of him. Weak, little Sebastian...was now Captain Tiburón. What had happened to him, I wondered. I noticed the fish scales on his face again. What had he turned into? Was this a miracle of God? Or perhaps the Devil?

Amano was looking at Sebastian as if he'd seen a ghost. Amano was pale and trembling. Well, we had all thought Sebastian had been kidnapped and killed or something. The emotionally sensitive Amano had cried for weeks after Sebastian's 'disappearance'. Machete had combed the island of The Dominican Republic for any sign of Sebastian. He had searched and searched every nook and cranny of the island, searched caves, searched the lagoon until he had driven himself into a fever. Machete had been bedridden for weeks after that incident but Sebastian's body was never found. I remember Machete being in a delirious state of mind and calling out Sebastian's name. After that Machete had never mentioned Sebastian again and Amano and I had never dared to bring him up.

"Sebastian!" Amano gasped, a hand in front of his mouth. He staggered to his feet and stumbled towards Sebastian. "You're alive...! Sebastian!" Amano rushed at the pirate captain and to my surprise tried to _hug_ him. I already knew this wasn't such a good idea.

But to my astonishment Sebastian meanly backhanded Amano hard across the face, sending him sprawling to the floor.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Sebastian growled, "You filthy landlubber!" He glared down at Amano as if he were nothing but an insect.

"Amano!" I cried and went to my friend's side.

Amano was on the floor, on his knees, trembling, with blood tricking down from his split lip, "Sebastian...why...?" There was this sad, betrayed look on his face. "We're friends, aren't we?" Amano gave Sebastian a hopeful look. Even then Amano still had it in his heart to forgive Sebastian.

I wouldn't be forgiving Sebastian anytime soon, however. I stood up and cracked my knuckles. I was pissed. I was ready to punch Sebastian for what he had just done to Amano. "Asshole! What the hell?! We're your _friends_!"

Sebastian's eye narrowed to a slit, and he eyed us coldly. I was surprised to see _hatred_ in his gaze too. Why? What had we done?! "Stop calling me that...I'm no longer 'Sebastian'. That pathetic weakling is dead. I'm Captain Tiburón now. And we're _not_ friends...in fact we never were..."

"What?" I snapped, trembling with rage. How dare he! "What happened to you Sebastian...you've changed..." Heck, Sebastian used to be _nice_.

Sebastian began to laugh – it was a bitter sounding, maniacal laughter. "Buwhahaha! That's the understatement of a lifetime. I've changed...indeed I have. I've become better. I've _evolved_. I've risen up from the flames of my suffrage and been reborn! I have overcome _adversity_. Adversity caused by _him_ ..." Sebastian whipped out his gigantic cutlass that looked as though it were made of bone and pointed it towards Mayor Alejandro. "Mayor Alejandro...you ruined my life! And destroyed my father! You took everything from us when all we ever tried to do was help you...this place...these ungrateful people! And this is how we were repaid. You drove my father to take extreme measures...

"My father fled the Dominican Republic while still trying to find a cure for me and for Esperanza. He needed money, however, to fund his research and to be able to set up a laboratory and so he turned to pirating. Somehow my father managed to earn the title of Captain Greed. But by then my father was already changing and going down a dark path. Having already killed people...my father felt he was already damned anyways and so when all his research and resources failed to find me a cure or to help Esperanza my father decided to seek out a cure through the demonic arts: necromancy, alchemy, black magic. My father decided if God wouldn't help him then perhaps the Devil would. My father sold his soul to the devil for knowledge...

"Then he came back to the Dominican Republic with this knowledge and took me back to his new laboratory where he began to experiment on me. He turned me into this monster you now see before you! But this monstrous body has enabled me to fashion a new identity for myself as Captain Tiburón."

"The kindhearted Doctor Julian..." I shook my head, not able to believe it. "He became Captain Greed...and even experimented on you? I can't believe it. He used to slap a bandage on my scrapes and give me a lollipop to keep the tears out of my eyes...there's just no way..."

"I don't think Band-Aids existed in the Seventeenth Century." Amano put in. We ignored him.

"It's no lie, my father became Captain Greed and then later came to the Dominican Republic to fetch me and show me the fruit of his years of research. He experimented on me using advanced science, centuries ahead of our time with a technique he called ' _genetic engineering_ '. He combined my 'DNA' with merman 'DNA'. 'DNA' is something my father referred to as the 'building blocks of life'. DNA holds the genetic blueprint of a cell. DNA also encodes the genetic material that determines what a living organism will develop into. This is what happens when you manipulate a person's DNA and combine it with another creature's DNA." Sebastian removed his eye patch to reveal that half of his face was covered in blue scales and his right eye was deformed. The eye was abnormally round, gold and had a slanted pupil. It was monstrous. "That's not all..." Sebastian turned his back to me and showed me that behind his ears were gills. "I also have webbed feet. I've become a monster. Not because of my father...but because of _him_. Alejandro...LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!" He roared at Alejandro and spit went flying in the mayor's face. Sebastian quickly put his eye patch back on in an almost self-conscious move.

Mayor Alejandro was trembling in fear and began to stutter, "N-n-n-nooo it w-w-wasn't me...I...I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry? He says he's sorry, men. What should I think about that?" Captain Tiburón gave his crew an incredulous look. A few of them began to chuckle darkly.

"Mercy...?" Mayor Alejandro mumbled.

"What was that? Speak up, Mayor, I didn't hear you!? Mercy, you say?" Sebastian turned to give his posse a questioning look. "Should I show this _hijo de puta_ mercy? Yes...I'll show him mercy alright...." Sebastian swung his sword-

I knew what he was about to do, or rather in the process of doing. And it was already too late to stop him but I cried out anyways. "NO!"

Sebastian decapitated Mayor Alejandro in one swift blow. The mayor's head went flying; spinning through the air, blood streaming in its wake. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, it all seemed so unreal. Mayor Alejandro's head hit the floor with a sickening thud. His body remained sitting in the chair, headless, with blood streaming out from his neck, gushing out all over the chair and the front of his once-immaculate mahogany desk.

The young man in the Goth outfit – spiked leather collar – began to laugh hysterically, giddy. "Heeheeheehee! Blood! Blood! Blood! Paint everything red with blood, Captain Tiburón! More, more, more! Die! Die! Die! Let's kill them all next!" He exclaimed excitedly and eyed Amano and I next...

Amano was retching upon the floor pathetically.

I watched in a strange, detached state as Sebastian walked over and grabbed the mayor's body by the front of his shirt and tossed the body out of the chair and over to a corner of the office. "You're in my seat..." Sebastian muttered, in an irritated fashion. He then sat down in the mayor's chair as if it weren't drenched in blood and gore and then he propped his booted feet upon the bloody table. He leaned over and adjusted the name plaque that said 'Mayor'. "Looks like I'm the new Mayor of Cabarete Village now, huh boys?"

Captain Tiburón's Elite Pirate Guard looked pleased.

Sebastian seemed to realize something. "Ah, where are my manners? I haven't introduced my Elite Pirate Guard to you, have I Moreno. Amano." Sebastian waved a hand towards the Vampiress first. "She is Akane." Akane's eyes seemed to glow red upon her introduction and she smiled at us. I shivered in response. He motioned towards the white-haired, female pirate next. "Over there is Nerezza." A tiny smile formed on this serene woman's face. He motioned towards the black-skinned pirate. "That is Kouzin-Zaka." Kouzin-Zaka grinned broadly revealing gleaming white teeth. He then motioned to the stoic man all in black. "He is Hellscythe and that is his younger brother Daemon." Hellscythe nodded in our direction and Daemon just started laughing.

"Hmmm, mayor?" Akane purred as she sauntered over and took a seat right in Sebastian's lap before wrapping her arms around his neck. "I always did have a thing for men with titles."

Sebastian merely smiled slightly at the attention as if he were used to it – lucky bastard. Nerezza came to stand at Sebastian's side next and glared daggers at Akane for getting so close to their – _her_ – Captain. I watched in amusement, as lightning seemed to flash between the gazes of the two women.

Akane ran her finger along the tabletop and her finger was dripping with Mayor Alejandro's blood. She stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked. "Mmm exotic." As she did this I noticed the Vampiress' long, red-painted fingernails.

Amano started throwing up again.

Yep, I knew we were so screwed. We were goners...Amano and I. Sebastian, no, Captain Tiburón was going to kill us...maybe decapitate us. Our only hope was...Machete. Maybe Machete would come to our rescue, I thought. But then wondered if Machete would be able to stand a chance against these pirates. They were monsters.

I decided I had to keep Sebastian/Captain Tiburón talking. It was our only hope. Buying us some time. I pulled myself together. "I can't say he didn't deserve that...though that was perhaps overkill."

Captain Tiburón raised an eyebrow at me and waited for me to continue.

"You mentioned that your father, Captain Greed was dead. What happened to him?" I was actually truly curious about what had befallen the kind doctor.

"Pirate King Pride...killed him." Captain Tiburón gnashed his teeth angrily together as he made this startling revelation. "They were engaged in a sea battle against each other when the _Mad Captain_ was hit and Captain Greed fell overboard. The ship survived...the Captain was never found...when the _Mad Captain_ came into my possession I renamed her the _Green Leviathan_."

My eyes widened. Of course, I had heard about Pirate King Pride. The man who ruled the Seven Seas and who had formed the Seven Deadly Pirates. He was the most feared pirate among merchants and pirates alike. He was apparently a monster, incredibly strong, undefeatable, with a fiery temper. "Whoa." Was all I managed to get out. It must have been one hell of a sea battle.

"Which is why I came here..." Captain Tiburón's pale green eye gleamed. "For _revenge_. I'm going to kill Machete and Santiago." Captain Tiburón informed me.

"What? What do Machete and Santiago have to do with any of this?!" I started.

Captain Tiburón ignored my question and gave me an assessing look. "You really don't know do you? Guess what the name of Captain Pride's ship was?"

"What?" I had no idea.

"The Esperanza." Captain Tiburón informed me. "Captain Pride was Machete and Santiago's father."

"Ehhhh?!" My jaw dropped. "Captain Pride is Machete's father?! Wait a second, what do you mean by ' _was'_?"

Captain Tiburón turned to face the man with the yellow snake eyes. "Kouzin-Zaka, I want you to go and get Machete's mother Esperanza and bring her to me. She'll be my bait to lure the brothers out here."

"Aye aye Captain." Kouzin-Zaka said gruffly.

"Esperanza!?" I called after Kouzin-Zaka as he stomped out of the mayor's office. "Oh no you don't!" I went after him, but the beast-like man turned around and his gigantic fist went flying into my face with a painful _bam!_ And I knew no more.

***

Sol Caribe Hotel, twenty minutes later...

Amano burst into the bedroom Santiago and I had been fighting in only seconds before. Amano was a total wreck and looked like hell. He was pale, and trembling in fear. He spotted Santiago and I and rushed over to us. "Machete! Santiago! It's awful!" Amano blurted out frantically.

I grabbed Amano by the shoulders. "Calm down, Amano...what the hell has been going on out there? It sounded like a war."

"The Ocean Sand's Harbor was attacked by pirates...Captain Tiburón and his crew...the crew of the _Green Leviathan_ ..."

"The _Green Leviathan_?" Santiago pushed his round spectacles up his nose. "But that's Captain Greed's ship!"

"Captain Tiburón...err, Captain Envy is Captain Greed's son...but there's more. Oh my God, Machete...he has her! He's going to kill her like he did the mayor!" Amano gave me a desperate look.

"He has who Amano?!" I questioned him.

"Your mother Esperanza!" Amano declared before he passed out in a faint in my arms.

"Amano!" I yelled, "Shit..." I picked Amano up and carried him over to the nearby bed. I gently laid Amano down on top of it. _Poor Amano...rest up buddy...you've earned it_. My hand went to the hilt of my machete and I realized it wasn't there since I was still buck naked. _Crap._

Amano's indecipherable message was clear enough to me. Apparently, some asshole pirate had my mother. That's really all I needed to know because some asshole pirate was about to get his ass kicked. "Captain Tiburón huh?' I said as I ran my hands back through my messed up hair. "I don't know who the fuck he is but...I'm going to go kick his ass." I declared, before turning around and beginning to stalk out of the room, still naked.

Santiago rushed after me. "Machete!? Where do you think you're going...?"

"To kill that _hijo de puta_ pirate captain!" I said off-handedly.

"For heaven's sake, Machete. Put some clothes on first! What are you? A savage Taino Indian? And...I'm coming with you." My brother informed me.

"Keh," I snorted before turning around and beginning to pull on some pants. I still had no shirt, and I found my machete under the bed. "Fine. Just don't get in my way, four-eyes." I scoffed wondering where my brother had managed to get his hands on another pair of spectacles.

"Fine, as long as you don't get in mine." Santiago countered, pushing his spectacles up his nose. "Hotheaded idiot."

My brother and I left Sol Caribe Hotel and mounted our horses that had been tied up outside to some nearby palm trees. I mounted Casanova quickly and watched as Santiago mounted his white horse named Hermes. As soon as Santiago was mounted I took off at a gallop for City Hall. Santiago followed close behind. We would confront this 'Captain Tiburón' guy and rescue my mother.

Santiago and I arrived at City Hall to find that it was a complete war zone. Dead bodies littered the front lawn that before had been well manicured and nicely maintained. These were the bodies of Mayor Alejandro's Harbor Guard, Merchant Police, as well as his own private police. I nudged one of the fallen bodies with my boot. Flies were already beginning to gather around the dead. "Yep, he's dead."

"Machete!" Santiago reprimanded me, "That's being disrespectful to the dead!" Santiago knelt beside one of the dead bodies put his hands together and began to pray for the man's soul. "May your soul return peacefully to the great energy that is God."

I gawked at my brother in shock. "Since when did you turn religious?"

"Since I found God through meditation..." Santiago replied serenely, not looking at me. "People make the mistake of trying to find God in books or through religious faiths. All they need to do to find God is to look within themselves..."

"We don't have time for this religious mumbo jumbo." I exasperatedly grabbed Santiago's arm and began to drag him towards the front door of City Hall.

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose indignantly. "It's not religious mumbo jumbo. After studying various religions and philosophies I realized that therein lies the problem. Religious groups are just there to control people. And people become a part of these religious groups not because they want to find God but because they feel the need to belong to some kind of group. To truly find God one must free themselves from everything they have learned, open their mind, open their heart, and search within. They must simply look at the world that God has created, truly open their eyes to this miracle, and then they will grow closer to God and the truth..."

I rolled my eyes. "I never thought my brother would become religious." I shook my head. I'd grown up with Santiago and he'd been about as religious as me to begin with, which wasn't saying a lot. After the death of my baby sister I had decided to become an atheist. If God really existed I still couldn't come to terms with the fact that he would just let my baby sister die like that. And if there was a God who would just sit back and watch that happen then he wasn't a God I wanted to give the time of day. "I'm disowning you..." I complained and then frowned. "But I guess only Mother can do that. Listen, from now on you're no longer my brother, Santiago. And don't get any weird ideas about trying to convert me to your new religion..."

Santiago frowned and adjusted his round spectacles. "It's not a new religion. That's the point. The point is that people need to try and discover the truth of the universe themselves and not to rely on others."

"Blah Blah Blah," I moved my hand as if it were talking. "I'm surprised you didn't become a Jehovah's Witness. I would have figured you'd like a religion based on some book."

"It's not just some book, Machete. It's the Bible! It's God's Word!" Santiago told me.

"Uh huh..." I gave Santiago a skeptical look. "You expect me to believe God came down from heaven, picked up a pen and paper and wrote that thing?"

"Grrrr...it was written by prophets and religious wise men who were 'divinely inspired' and who could _hear_ the word of God and so wrote it down." My brother tried to explain.

"Divinely inspired huh? Which means about half of the Bible is the truth and the other half is total crap!"

"Huh? What? Why?" Santiago gave me a confused look.

"Santiago, Santiago, Santiago...you just admitted to me that human beings wrote the Bible. Humans...are imperfect which makes the Bible imperfect. We are incomplete therefore the Bible is incomplete. Flawed. Some prophet could hear the word of God but he may mishear or misinterpret a thing or two so that God's original message becomes warped and confused. The only thing we really know for sure in this world is that we don't know crap."

Santiago clenched his fists at his sides. "Alright so you have a point. But I don't think that using logic can denounce the Bible. Human beings have reason and I think that we can use our reason to determine whether or not the Bible is God's Word. When you read the Bible...the words move you, you can relate to them, understand them, and decide to follow them. I think God gave us reason because he wanted us to question things like this. He didn't want us to just blindly follow him or his Word. He wants us to question it, and to decide what path we shall take. Will we take a path of being righteous or shall we chose a selfish path. The choice is ours. But the more a person knows himself the harder he will try to live in a righteous manner. With God and the Bible one needs to have faith."

"You know I don't believe in God, Santiago." If God existed he would have saved our baby sister. "I only believe in things that I see with my own two eyes."

"So then you don't believe in _love_? If you didn't love our mother you wouldn't be running off to save her now would you? Love. Faith. Hope. They all exist Machete. I learned that in my voyages."

"Well, so do Hate, Distrust, Despair, Hunger, and Desperation. I'm more familiar with them because unlike you I haven't gotten to travel to see the world. I've been trapped on this god-forsaken rock protecting Mother all on my own...!" I gave Santiago a fierce glare, fire burning in my eyes.

Santiago stumbled backwards at my hard look, his expression faltered, and he became apologetic. "Machete...I'm sorry..."

"Dammit...we don't have time for this crap." I stomped over to the front door of City Hall and kicked it in. I strode inside with Santiago following close behind me. I stalked down the main hallway and reached the mayor's office door. I decided to just go ahead and kick this door in too since it would save time.

"Could you maybe _knock_ every once in a while?" Santiago shook his head ruefully at me.

I pulled my machete out of my sash belt and held it up before me as I entered. The sight that met me was the following one:

A man about the same age as I and who was probably this Captain Tiburón asshole I was looking for was sitting in the mayor's chair with his boots up on the table in front of him. He looked like some kind of cliché, evil, pirate captain from the stories I used to tell as a kid: he had an eye patch, a pirate hat with a plume in it, a long green and black pirate coat, boots with cuffs, long pale hair that was green-tinged, and a gigantic, curved, and bloodied cutlass. I couldn't help but notice the dripping drops of blood sliding down his strange looking cutlass. The surface of it looked more like a bone than steel. This man had an intimidating battle aura and I knew at once that he was indeed the captain.

There was a voluptuous, pirate babe sitting in Captain Tiburón's lap. She had breasts like watermelons. She appeared to be of Asian descent and had this teasing look on her face. I noticed that there was another female pirate, who was standing next to the captain, and with her pale hand on the top of his chair. She immediately reminded me of Blanca and I did a double take, thinking at first that it was she. This female pirate's demeanor was more serious than the other one. Her expression was cold and calculating.

But the male pirates, who were also in the cramped office, drew my attention away from the beautiful females with their dangerous presences. I spun and noticed a man dressed all in black with a jacket that hid half of his face. He had lifeless, lavender colored eyes and long, whitish hair. I noticed that he held a chain in his hand and followed the chain to discover that it was attached to a collar that was around a young man's neck. This young man was dressed in tight black leather and had a crazed expression on his face. A couple of Goth freaks, I decided, not really wanting to know what was going on between these two. Though they were not to be underestimated either. The taller of the two was dangerous, I could tell.

I then noticed the body and head of Mayor Alejandro on the floor in a corner of the office and couldn't say I felt sad about it. The man had been a real _hijo de puta_.

Moreno tried to get up out of the chair he was sitting in when he saw me enter the room. "Machete!"

But the man with the cold, lavender-colored eyes silently shoved Moreno back down into his seat. I noticed Moreno's nose was broken. These assholes were going to pay for that. The only one that could beat up Moreno was me, dammit!

I felt a powerful, intimidating aura next that was coming from a pirate waiting for me to acknowledge his presence. I turned to see a man who had skin as black as the night and eyes that resembled a snake's eyes. He was seven-feet-tall and had pointed ears. He had a feral look to him, like an animal. I noticed he had long black nails. Slung over this man's shoulder was my unconscious mother! "Mother!" I exclaimed as I caught sight of her. I focused my hatred upon the man who had ordered her capture. "Captain Tiburón, I presume?" I eyed the pirate with the eye patch.

Captain Tiburón smirked at me. "Well, finally, someone got it right. Though I'm surprised that it was a meathead like you, Machete." He began in a familiar, conversational tone.

I narrowed my eyes at Captain Tiburón as Santiago entered the room and came to stand next to me. "How do you know my name?" I asked him.

Captain Tiburón raised an eyebrow at that. "And just when I was beginning to believe you'd gotten smarter. I suppose Amano didn't tell you...?"

"He fainted after he told me some guy named Captain Tiburón had kidnapped my mother." I explained.

"I see...so just the mention of your mother being in trouble was enough to bring you running here...an admirable son indeed." He steepled his fingers on the bloody desk in front of him. "Machete...it's me...Sebastian." He awaited my reaction intently.

I blinked. _Huh?_ Sebastian...my sickly childhood friend, who had looked up to me, admired me, and enjoyed my adventure stories? _No way._ I thought, but then I looked into his pale green eye. _No frickin way._ It really _was_ Sebastian. "Fuck...what the hell is going on? How did you become a pirate captain?!" Had the world gone topsy-turvy? I also couldn't help the misplaced feeling of relief that I felt at finding out that my friend Sebastian wasn't dead after all as I had thought.

Captain Tiburón shrugged. "I merely inherited my father's legacy."

"HUH?" Now I was even more confused. Sebastian's father was Doctor Julian, a kind, soft-spoken man who had disappeared some years ago after Mayor Alejandro had extorted the last of his money out of the poor man. Doctor Julian was a man who wouldn't hurt a fly. What could the kind doctor have to do with pirates?

"Your father was Captain Greed wasn't he?" Santiago interrupted me, addressing Captain Tiburón, the cogs of his well-oiled brain turning at a rapid pace. "All those years ago, Doctor Julian disappeared from the Dominican Republic, leaving his son behind and going out to sea. Not long after there was news of a new, fierce pirate captain named Captain Greed making his debut ruthlessly attacking merchant ships in the Seven Seas. Not long after that Sebastian disappeared. Captain Greed must have found a cure for you and now Sebastian returns with a ship that used to be known as the _Mad Captain_ but that is now called the _Green Leviathan_. You conquered the islands on your way back here. But what is your true purpose here, Sebastian? Why have you returned to the Dominican Republic?"

"Cured?" I scoffed looking at what my old friend was wearing again. It was completely flashy, pompous and ostentatious. Just who did he think he was? He was just little Sebastian! Sebastian hadn't been cured - he'd gotten an ego the size of the Dominican Republic.

"I came here for revenge." Captain Tiburón informed us, giving Santiago and I a cold look. "Your father killed my father, you see." He explained.

"You know who our father is?" Santiago asked, leaned forward, and licked his lips with a curious expression on his face. I couldn't help but do the same. Our mother had never told us the identity of our pirate father. Could Sebastian really know who our birth father was?!

"Your father was none other than Pirate King Captain Pride of the Seven Deadly Pirates that rule the Seven Seas." Sebastian revealed to us.

My pirate father...was Pirate King Pride...impossible. I was already shaking my head. "Impossible...I don't believe you!"

Sebastian shrugged. "I don't care if you believe me. All I care about is _my_ revenge...I'm here to kill you, Machete."

I gawked back at Sebastian in disbelief. That sickly wimp thought he was going to...what? " _You_ kill _me_?" I chuckled. "That's funny! And how exactly are _you_ going to manage that when you can't even walk?"

Moreno was making some really stupid hand signals my way. I ignored him.

The Asian chick got off of Sebastian and moved to the side. Sebastian stared back at me before he put both his hands on the table in front of him and stood up. He then walked around from behind the desk and slowly approached me.

My jaw dropped. "You can walk...! It's a miracle."

"No...it's science." Sebastian declared, before in one fluid motion he unsheathed his cutlass, swung it and had it poised at my throat. I was so surprised by Sebastian walking I hadn't even tried to defend myself. Luckily, Santiago had been watching my back-!

Santiago was standing next to me and his sword was blocking Sebastian's sword from taking off my head. Touché. I swallowed and as I did so my Adam's apple bumped against Captain Tiburón's sword.

Sebastian's attention turned to Santiago. "Santiago, as quick as ever I see." He nodded in acknowledgement.

"Sebastian," Santiago nodded back. "It's good to see you walking..."

Sebastian took his sword away from my throat and took a step back. Santiago did the same. "You won't think so after I've gutted you and fed your guts to the sharks." Sebastian provoked.

"I'll believe that when I've seen it." Santiago got into a stance, his sword pointed at Sebastian.

Sebastian gave Santiago a bored look. "I have no interest in fighting you right now, Santiago. Primarily, I want to fight, err, kill Machete!"

"Well, Machete is being a little slow right now. He still hasn't figured out that you're our enemy now and not our friend...so I'll fight you instead and make you let our Mother go! HAAA!" Santiago roared as he charged Sebastian.

I watched in a stunned stupor as my brother Santiago attacked Sebastian. He swung his cutlass at Sebastian who moved to block with his gigantic bone sword. Slash. Parry. Slash. Block. Santiago and Sebastian's swords clashed in a deadly dance and I watched them looking like an idiot with my mouth hanging open.

It's just that this was all so unreal. Sebastian and my brother were sword fighting?! No...Captain Tiburón and my brother were fighting a duel to the death. Sebastian was Captain Tiburón. Sebastian...my mental image of Sebastian was from the last time I had seen him. He had been moved from Cabarete Hospital to a tiny shack on the beach with a leaking canna roof. It was all he could afford. His only skill was weaving baskets, which he would do all day long until his fingers bled.

I had continued to visit him and tell him stories of my adventures. I had gotten into 'fight clubs' and 'betting fights' around that time and remember telling Sebastian all about this great fight I had where I knocked the guy out with only one punch. I remember how Sebastian had looked at me all starry-eyed, eyes full of admiration. I was his hero.

"Man...you're so frickin awesome, Machete. I wish..." Sebastian had been saying before a coughing fit overtook him. He coughed violently into his hands.

"Sebastian!" I sat next to him on his bed and patted his back awkwardly until he stopped coughing.

When he had stopped coughing and took his hands away I saw that there blood on his hands...! "Don't look at me, Machete. I don't want you to see me like this. I'm so pathetic. I'm only seventeen-years-old and I'm dying." Back then he had been this sickly, pale skinned boy with fair hair, and pale green eyes in sunken eyeholes that had dark circles around them.

"Idiot!" I said and grabbed his shoulders. "Don't say you're going to die! It's like you've already given up. If you just give up before you've even tried your best it's the same as being a coward and running away. And you're no coward are you, Sebastian? Didn't you say you wanted to become a Sea Force's officer so that you could make the seas safe? So safe that kind-hearted people like you could go out sailing alone and it would be okay. If you fall down seven times, you get up seven times and then try again. Don't use your sickly body as an excuse. Do what you want to do even if it kills you – that's being a man!"

"That was just...talk." Sebastian bit down on his lower lip and looked away from me. "Machete, I don't think you should come here anymore..."

"What? Why not?" I gave my friend a confused look. Perhaps, I had gone too far and insulted him? I wondered.

"Just...don't come here anymore. Please. I...don't want to see your ugly face anymore, got it?!" Sebastian spun around to glare at me. "You idiot!"

"HUH?" I was taken aback and felt insulted. "Well...fine! I don't want to see your ugly face either!" I got pissed, and acted immature. I was a teenage brat then after all and so I left. That was the last time I saw him. Because after that he mysteriously disappeared.

A few weeks later, I had gone to his shack to tell him something important. I had wanted to ask him for forgiveness for what I had told him the other day and amend my inconsiderate statement to this: "Sebastian. Sometimes it's okay to run away. Even if things don't go your way, you should keep doing your best. Just keep moving forward but at your own pace. Things can get difficult so it's okay to take a break once in a while and recharge." I didn't want Sebastian to keep pushing himself. I knew the real reason why he was weaving all those baskets. He wanted to save up the money so that he could go out to sea and pursue his dream. I was really an idiot. I had accused Sebastian of giving up, but he had never given up.

He hadn't been there that day. I asked all around Cabarete Village as to Sebastian's whereabouts but it was as if he had just disappeared. It wasn't like Sebastian to just leave without saying goodbye so I feared the worse. I thought that perhaps Sebastian had been kidnapped or killed. And so I combed the island for any sign of Sebastian. I searched everywhere for him – around town, the jungle, in caves; I checked the entire lagoon for his body. I searched for him until I collapsed from exhaustion. Apparently I had driven myself into a feverish state and was delirious for days. Moreno and Amano had taken care of me during that time. After that I came to terms with the fact that Sebastian was gone, simply gone.

I couldn't get the image of Sebastian looking at me with his eyes full of admiration out of my head. And here he was right now, in front of me, alive, and fighting against my brother. Sickly Sebastian...was pretty damned good with a sword. I couldn't help but be impressed by this. For some reason I felt prideful towards him. As if his strength had something to do with me. I know, totally egotistic right?

And then Sebastian thrust his sword forward and Santiago's sword went flying out of his hand. Santiago staggered backwards and Sebastian put his sword to Santiago's throat.

"Adiós Santiago."

"Wait." I called out and took my machete out of my sash belt holding it casually at my side. "If you want to fight me so badly Sebastian – then okay – let's fight."

Sebastian removed his sword from Santiago's throat. "Now that's more like it. Are you finally getting it, Machete? Let's fight outside. It's too cramped in here. Kouzin-Zaka, bring Esperanza. Hellscythe and Daemon bring Moreno. The rest of you, come with me."

"Aye aye Captain!" The crew of the _Green Leviathan_ shouted.

"Hey, wait!" I yelled after Sebastian as he swaggered out of the mayor's office.

This is how I ended up in the courtyard of City Hall surrounded by the dead bodies of the Merchant Police and facing off against Captain Tiburón. Captain Tiburón hefted his sword down off his shoulders and pointed it at me, "Now, Machete, you will die." An evil, maniacal grin stretched across his face revealing his strangely pointed teeth. The inside of his mouth looked just like the inside of a shark's mouth.

But...there was something still so 'off' about all this. To me, this situation still didn't make sense. I guess I really _was_ slow. "Wait a sec, Sebastian, I still don't get why we have to fight. So, yea, my pirate father killed your pirate father, but what does that really have to do with _us_. We shouldn't be fighting. We don't really _need_ to fight."

"I see that you need a little motivation to try and kill me, Machete. I'll be happy to give you that 'motivation'. Behold, the power of the Shark Beast God's tooth!" Captain Tiburón raised his sword high into the air and began to whirl his sword around. I thought he had gone completely insane until...I saw water droplets beginning to seep through the outside surface of the bone sword until the entire blade was drenched with water. And then Sebastian began to form a gigantic sphere of water above his head...

Around this time my mother had begun to stir and Kouzin-Zaka set her down on the ground. My mother opened her eyes and began to push herself up off the ground. My mother tried to flee but was immediately captured by Kouzin-Zaka. She would have screamed but Kouzin-Zaka clamped his hand over her mouth. My mother scanned the courtyard and the bloody carnage with her eyes widening in abject fear. She began to struggle against Kouzin-Zaka's grasp but her resistance against such a powerful man was pointless.

The sphere of water that Sebastian had created was quite large now. "Release Esperanza, Kouzin-Zaka." Sebastian commanded in a drawling tone.

"Aye aye Captain," Kouzin-Zaka grinned as he suddenly let go of my mother.

She immediately took off running.

Sebastian swung his sword at her and the sphere of water followed his movement. The water sphere flew towards my mother and swallowed her up-

"MOTHER!" I yelled out in bewilderment as the sphere of water engulfed her. I ran towards the sphere and once I got closer I was able to see that she was still whole but floating inside of the sphere of water.

"Mother!" Esperanza had her cheeks puffed and was obviously holding her breath within the sphere. She gave me a desperate look. "I'll get you out of there, Mother!" I was about to swing my machete at the sphere when Santiago called out-

"No, stop, you idiot! It's water! Your machete will just pass right through and you'll hurt Mother! It's not a bubble!" Santiago shouted at me.

"Oh..." I muttered, chagrinned, "Then what the hell should I do?!" I shouted back, beginning to get frustrated.

"I'll answer that question." Captain Tiburón interrupted us. "Fight me. I'm the one using this magical sword to control that sphere of water and keep your mother contained within. Kill me and your mother will be freed from the sphere. If you don't kill me your mother will drown! The average human can hold their breath for about forty-five seconds. Time's a-wasting Machete."

"Sebastian, you bastard! Let my mother out of there, right now!" I demanded, glaring fiercely at my old friend.

"Make me." Sebastian egged me on and pointed his sword at me in challenge.

"Oh, I will." I growled as I faced Sebastian and pointed my machete at him.

[MACHETE VS CAPTAIN TIBURÓN] FIGHT!

Filled with anger, hatred, and frustration I attacked Captain Tiburón recklessly, haphazardly swinging my machete in wide frantic arcs and slashes.

Captain Tiburón merely lithely and elegantly dodged and skipped out of the way like a freaking ballerina. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely and couldn't wipe off the grin that was on his face. People that smiled too much were creepy, I decided. "Is that all you've got, Machete? You'll never be able to land a hit like that, you reckless hothead. I thought you said you were going to become a privateer? The best in the Seven Seas? Well, you won't do it with those piss poor skills of yours!" He taunted me.

This only made me even more pissed off though and I charged him, holding my machete in a two-handed grip. I leapt up into the air and brought my machete down upon Sebastian in a downward slash, prepared to cleave him in two. But Captain Tiburón was faster and was already gone as my machete sliced through thin air and then came down hard upon the ground-

The impact of my machete upon the ground made a large crater due to the force of the impact of my blow. _Tsk._ I pried my machete out of the ground and stood to face Captain Tiburón once more.

Moreno was looking at me as if I'd grown a second head.

And even Captain Tiburón was eyeing the crater I had made, which was a least five feet wide, curiously. He looked intrigued, pleased even, as if I had met with his expectations. Captain Tiburón raised his sword, took a stance and waited for my next attack.

"Ahhhh!" I cried out as I charged him and this time when I swung my machete instead of dodging, Captain Tiburón raised his sword to meet my attack. I pushed back on his sword and Captain Tiburón skidded backwards.

"Hmmm that's a powerful swing you have there, Machete. I would definitely be a goner if it would actually hit me but...with the way you're fighting that still seems highly unlikely." He said in a silky voice.

"Screw you!" I yelled as I swung my machete at Sebastian again.

"There you go again...letting your _emotions_ consume and control you, Machete." Slash. Parry. Stab. Evade. Thrust. Block. "You attack too recklessly – you need to put more _thought_ into your attacks. But I suppose that's too complex for a muscle-head like you to contemplate."

" _Coñio_! Fuck!" I swore. It was freakin hot out. The blinding, yellow, Caribbean sun was beating down on us directly overhead. I was sweating bullets. But Sebastian hadn't even broken out a sweat yet. How was that even possible? Was he even human anymore? He wasn't taking me seriously at all. I realized. He was just toying with me. _Dammit...!_ That made me mad. "How come you're not sweating?" I couldn't help but ask.

Captain Tiburón smirked. "This sword allows me to control the element of water and ice. I can use it to cool down my body temperature."

"So not fair." But I was reminded by the fact that Captain Tiburón hadn't bothered to use his sword's magical power against me...just what was he waiting for?

"Machete! Mother can't hold out much longer! Concentrate!" Santiago yelled at me.

"Fuck! I'm trying my best here!" I snarled back at my impatient brother. I charged Captain Tiburón again but then I almost fell flat on my face as I slipped on...mud? _Huh?_ I looked down and saw mud, which was impossible because of the hot sun, but there it was, never the less. My feet were sinking down into the mud-!

"Watch out, Machete!" Santiago called out a warning.

_Shit!_ I looked up to see Captain Tiburón charging me and here I was an idiot stuck in the mud. Captain Tiburón swung his sword. I blocked, but had no grip on the ground and so was flung backwards-

I landed on my ass and looked up just in time to see that shitty bone sword swinging at my head-! But then Captain Tiburón changed the grip on his sword so that the flat of his sword hit my face and sent me flying sideways. _He could have decapitated me._ _Why didn't he?_ I remember having thought this as I fell back and landed in the mud puddle. My machete had fallen out of my slippery, muddy hand. This time when I looked up it was to find Captain Tiburón towering over me with his sword pointed at my heart.

Captain Tiburón looked down at me with a slightly surprised expression on his face. "I defeated you...I won...!"

"No, not yet." I said softly, before I reached up and grabbed his sword with my bare hands.

"Huh? What the?" Captain Tiburón furrowed his brows at me wondering what I was up to.

Captain Tiburón's sword cut deeply into my hands and blood streamed down my arms but, "Ahhh!" I gathered my strength and wrenched the sword from Captain Tiburón's grasp-! I then used all my strength to fling the sword far across the courtyard.

As soon as the sword had left Captain Tiburón's grip the sphere of water that had been imprisoning my mother burst, and she fell to the ground in a heap.

"Mother!" Santiago ran over to her and put a finger under her nose. He discovered she wasn't breathing, so began to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on my mother...

"You had better hope she's still alive, you bastard!" I said before I let my fist fly into the side of Captain Tiburón's face with a _bam!_

Captain Tiburón put a hand to the side of his face in shock. "You just hit me..."

"Don't act so surprised." I cracked my knuckles. "There's a whole lot more where that came from."

"Like hell!" Captain Tiburón punched me back.

And it turned into an all-out slugfest. We began to exchange punches and blows until we were both rolling around in the mud, wrestling and punching each other. "Not so tough without that sword huh?" I jeered beginning to feel cocky. I had this fight in the bag.

"Fuck you!" Captain Tiburón growled.

We grappled some more before I ended up on top of him. We glared at each other fiercely as we tried to catch our breath, but then-

Captain Tiburón began to cough violently into his hand and when he took his hand away I saw blood on it. For some retarded reason I became concerned. "Sebastian..."

Captain Tiburón's expression turned livid when he caught sight of my concerned look, which he must have thought was a pitying one. "Don't call me that! And don't look at me like that! Sebastian is dead! I'm Captain Tiburón now. This is why I hate you...you always pitied me didn't you? Well, I don't need your pity. Not any more!" He punched me hard across the face and managed to get out from under me while I was stunned slightly.

I heard my mother's gasp as she came back to the world of the living and began to cough up water. Santiago was a lifesaver. Though I'd never tell him that.

Sebastian staggered back and away from me, a fearful look in his eye. "Hellscythe! My sword!" He ordered the Goth pirate.

Hellscythe simply nodded and taking out a long chain flung this chain at the fallen shark tooth sword. The chain wrapped around the sword's hilt and as Hellscythe yanked the chain back he sent it flying in Captain Tiburón's direction.

Captain Tiburón caught the sword and pointed it at me, looking triumphant. "Hahahaha! Don't even think for a second that you've won, Machete! _I_ 've already won! I killed the mayor! Cabarete Village is now under my control...even now my genetically altered half-human half-merman crew is taking over this town! It now belongs to me. I HAVE WON! And you have lost! You are no match for my power or me! Now DIE!" Captain Tiburón quickly formed a water sphere, which he sent my way.

_Crap!_ I swung my machete at it but it was just like Santiago had said – my machete just passed right through it-

And suddenly I was trapped inside the sphere of water just as my mother had been. Luckily, I had taken a big breath...

Captain Tiburón approached me and watched me inside the sphere. "Now...I'll watch you drown to death, Machete. You see...I _am_ the better fighter. I am stronger than you and I have won. I have! Haven't I?" He asked with a psychotic edge to his voice.

"Machete!" Santiago cried and charged Captain Tiburón.

I wanted to cry out: 'No! Don't!' but I couldn't. All I could do was watch as Captain Tiburón swung his sword at Santiago and how Santiago fell to the ground and lay there unmoving.

"Santiago! Machete! Shit! Sebastian, you bastard!" Moreno charged Captain Tiburón next. I didn't want to watch this. I didn't want to watch my friends being cut down before my eyes and be unable to do anything. Next, I watched Moreno fall backwards as if in slow motion as he was defeated next.

I opened my mouth to tell Sebastian he was a fucking bastard. "You fucking bastard! _Hijo de puta_!" _Oops._ I kinda forgot I was underwater and needed to keep my breath held. Fuck me. I ended up inhaling a ton of water. My lungs burned and I snapped my mouth shut. I could feel my vision darkening. I was really going to die trapped in a frickin BUBBLE! That so sucked...

Captain Tiburón continued to watch me inside of the sphere with this haughty expression on his face. "And so the hero of the story dies before he even begins his quest? And the evil pirate captain wins? Kinda boring, don't you think? Kinda...cliché? Let's make this story of ours more interesting shall we?" Captain Tiburón waved his sword through the air and the sphere holding me burst.

I fell to the ground, gasping for breath, lungs burning. I was alive, but why? I looked up at Captain Tiburón quizzically.

"I'll tell you what, Machete, it's boring being the villain of the story if you have no opposition, no hero to fight you. And so I've decided to let you live. I've even decided to give you the chance to save this village and its people. All you need to do is buy Cabarete Village back from me for one thousand pieces-of-eight!"

"One thousand pieces-of-eight?" I gasped. "FUCK YOU!"

"Now, now, temper temper. That wasn't very nice, Machete. And here I am trying to be merciful and generous. One thousand pieces-of-eight is not that hard a sum to come by – if you perhaps managed to discover the whereabouts of Captain Pride's treasure for instance..." Captain Tiburón trailed off.

I blinked. "Captain Pride's? You mean, my father's treasure?" I didn't like the sound of this. I didn't want to have anything to do with the man who abandoned my mother, brother and I.

"Captain Tiburón gave me a pitying look. "You don't read the paper do you? Captain Pride is dead. But he's left behind a legacy – his treasure. Sensing his eminent demise Captain Pride selected an island somewhere in the Seven Seas and drew several maps that reveal the location of his treasure...

"He then put these treasure maps into bottles, corked them and tossed them into the sea. And then he died apparently. And so, now all the pirate captains and crews of the Seven Seas are after those maps and after that treasure because the pirate captain, who discovers Captain Pride's treasure, will become the next Pirate King!

"Doesn't that sound exciting, Machete? It's like a pirate race...to a finish line full of treasure!" Captain Tiburón's pale green eye sparkled with excitement and I thought I had never seen such 'excitement' in Sebastian's eyes before.

I spit on the ground. "Captain Pride's treasure...I don't want to have anything to do with it. I don't want to have anything to do with a man who abandoned his family! And I sure as hell have no interest in becoming the next Pirate King!"

Captain Tiburón's expression turned angry. "None of that really matters, now does it? Unless you buy Cabarete Village back...it, as well as its people, all belong to me. And I can do whatever I want to them. Perhaps I'll turn them all into half-mermen and half-mermaids or perhaps I'll simply decide to kill them all." Captain Tiburón shrugged. "Decisions, decisions." He snapped his fingers and pirates began entering the courtyard.

The pirate crew of the _Green Leviathan_ had apparently been hiding behind the nearby tropical foliage and palm tress, merely awaiting their captain's signal for when they would reveal themselves to us. The pirates were unlike anything I had ever seen. They barely looked human. They were dressed like pirates but their faces had fish scales on them, they had gills behind their ears, slightly pointed ears, hair colors reflecting all the shades of blue that existed in the ocean, pale skin, and pointed teeth. They had become part aquatic creature. Part of the sea. The ideal pirate. These men were incapable of drowning and so had nothing to fear from the sea itself. Their only enemies were the Sea Forces, other pirates and sea monsters.

"Until you pay me one thousand pieces-of-eight Cabarete Village and your mother Esperanza will continue to belong to me!" Captain Tiburón informed me. "Your mother is still quite beautiful. I'm sure that any of my pirates wouldn't mind keeping her company in more ways than one." Captain Tiburón leered at me. "Men take Esperanza away." Captain Tiburón ordered.

I watched in a kind of stunned horror and disbelief as a few of the mermen pirates stalked over to my mother before they reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to her feet and began to drag her off into the tropical foliage. "No! Let go of me you filthy pirates! Machete! Santiago! Help me, my sons!" Mother cried out to us desperately, reaching her hand out to us as she suddenly disappeared into the bushes. Her outstretched hand was the last thing I saw of her.

"Mother! Shit! Damn you...Captain Tiburón..." I grit my teeth, but unfortunately I still didn't have the strength to move and my lungs were making it hard to even breath.

Captain Tiburón looked pleased for some reason. "Have you changed your mind about that treasure, Machete? Will you become the hero of this story?"

"Fuck you! I don't even have a map..." I groused.

"I'll be nice and give you a clue. There's a Siren Witch on this island who has a copy of the map to Captain Pride's treasure." Captain Tiburón revealed.

"A Siren Witch?" I mused aloud.

"Yes...she looks a lot like my own Siren Witch, Nerezza." Captain Tiburón jerked his thumb in the white-haired pirate woman's direction. "All Siren Witches have fair hair and eyes the color of the sky, you see."

"Blanca...?" I muttered to myself.

"But don't think things will be so easy. I'm also going to try and find that treasure before you do, Machete. If I find it first then the deal's off. I'll keep Cabarete Village and your mother. Maybe I'll turn her into my personal maid or something. She can polish my boots!" Captain Tiburón began to cackle.

"Bastard!" I snarled.

"Good luck, hero." Captain Tiburón laughed as he saluted me. "I'll be seeing you on the open seas! You'd better watch your back."

"Screw you to hell!" I shouted and shook my fist after him.

"Men! Half of you shall remain here to secure the village. The rest of you shall leave with me!" Tiburón ordered loudly.

"Aye aye Captain!" The crew of the _Green Leviathan_ roared.

That said Captain Tiburón turned to leave, his long, green coat billowing behind him in a dramatic fashion. His Elite Pirate Guard immediately moved to flank him in an intimidating fashion and the rest of the crew of the _Green Leviathan_ soon followed. With my current strength and weakened condition there was no way I could stop him. It totally sucked.

***

After most of my strength had returned I immediately ran over to Santiago and Moreno to see if my friends were still alive. "Santiago!" I shook my brother's shoulder roughly.

He groaned. "Ughhh." Santiago sat up and blinked at me. "What the hell happened?"

I let out a breath of relief. "Captain Tiburón killed you...or so I thought."

Santiago reached into his jacket and pulled out his copy of the Bible. It had a huge gash in it. He blinked at it in surprise. "I was saved by this..." His eyes widened. "Wow. That's the power of the Bible for you. Maybe I really should become a Jehovah's Witness."

"Don't even joke about that, _amigo_. Then I'd really have to disown you. But maybe there really is a God?" I joked.

"Amen." Santiago crossed himself. " _Gracias a Dios._ Thanks be to God."

"What about Moreno?" I turned to see my fallen friend.

"I'm alive...just playing dead." Moreno declared from his place, face first in the mud. He began to push himself up off the ground and turned to face us. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a porno magazine. "I was saved...by _this_."

"Maybe there really is a God." I shook my head ruefully. "And apparently he likes porn."

"I don't think they had porno magazines in the seventeenth century," Santiago corrected us.

"I have my ways," Moreno waggled his brows at us before he leaned forward and said in a low, hushed voice. "Time traveler."

"Oh brother." I rolled my eyes. But now was no time for jokes. My expression turned serious. Captain Tiburón now had control of Cabarete Village and had taken my mother hostage. Finding Captain Pride's treasure was now our only hope of not only saving my mother but the entire village as well. And to do that we first needed to find the map. Was Blanca really a Siren Witch? Was she still even in Cabarete Village? I needed to go and find out.

"Hey guys, look what I took off of Captain Tiburón." Moreno got our attention and pulled out an adventure book titled: _Captain Blood_.

"At least you didn't steal his underwear." I deadpanned.

### Chapter 6: You're drinking a Salty Dog? How'd you like to try the real thing?

According to one heartbroken and distraught, Captain Bartholomew, his daughter Blanca had mysteriously disappeared. I sent Moreno on the hunt and he managed to track Blanca down using her 'scent' (or so he said) like a bloodhound in just a few hours. Moreno had managed to find out that apparently there was a new West Indies discotheque on Cabarete Beach called OJO where Blanca was a regular. The plan was to get me cleaned up first, then I'd go to OJO, find Blanca, drug her drink, seduce her, and then steal the treasure map that was theoretically in her possession...

"This is never going to work, guys." I complained as the guys – Moreno and Amano – dragged me to the bathroom. I was filthy due to the past day's crazy events. At least those strange sores I had gotten on my bum after that incident with wiping my ass with those green leaves had finally gone away. I had a feeling Blanca had specifically lied to me about which leaf was alright to use in such an emergency.

"Sure it will." Moreno assured me. "You've got pheromones...you just need to use them on Blanca."

"Pheromones..." It sounded like some kind of contagious disease.

"But first we need to make sure you don't smell like a horse." Amano told me seriously pinching his nose and shaking his head at me.

I sniffed under my armpits. "What? I don't smell like a horse."

Moreno and Amano both exchanged a poignant look. "You can't smell yourself apparently." Moreno declared.

Against my will, the guys tossed me into a tub, and began to scrub me down roughly. After a few minutes of that ridiculousness I kicked them out, yelling that I could clean myself since I wasn't an invalid!

Amano – my closet-transvestite friend – was a little too excited about the prospect of being in charge of dressing me up and making sure I looked presentable for the evening's events.

I emerged from the bathroom with a towel around my waist. Amano had an outfit laid out for me on the bed. "Oh hell no...it's...gay." I complained and headed for the door. "I'll just go like this...if I'm going to seduce her I don't need clothes anyways..."

Moreno and Amano grabbed onto each of my arms, stopping me. "You're not going anywhere, Machete." Moreno said loudly.

The guys tackled me down to the floor and forced those fruity clothes on me. I was surprised that they could be pretty tough when they really wanted to be. In a few minutes they had finished dressing me and I stood up looking at my reflection in the full-length mirror that was in the room. "But...puffed sleeves?!" I cried out in indignation as I continued to stare at my reflection.

Moreno and Amano ignored my protests and both seemed to think that I looked good. Amano had picked out a long-sleeved, button down, white cotton shirt with puffed sleeves. The first three buttons of the shirt had been left unbuttoned to reveal a nice glimpse of my tan, muscular chest. Amano had picked me out a pair of matching white cotton pants, which had been tucked into a pair of knee-high, black leather boots with large cuffs.

Amano had gotten me a shark tooth's necklace and considering who my greatest enemy currently was – Captain Tiburón I thought this accessory was ironic. I put my hand around the shark's tooth and clenched my hand around it. I liked it. It was a good reminder of the things I had to do.

I had a dark blue sash belt tied around my waist, which I stuck my trusty machete into. Amano had tried to tame my naturally wavy, black hair into some semblance of order and had failed. Moreno smirked at my finished look. "You see, you don't look half bad."

I raised my eyebrow at Moreno.

Moreno began to wave his hands frantically before him. "Uh...if I was a _chica_ I would think you're hot, I mean! _Amigo_ , don't look at me like that. You know I don't swing that way!"

"I think you look very handsome, Machete." Amano said with his arms wrapped around his torso hugging himself while he had this dreamy look on his face.

"Er, thanks." I sighed and slapped a hand to my forehead and shook my head... _puffed sleeves_ ...? I groaned. _I look like a freaking GAY pirate...! And I have to wear shoes too...ughhhh!_ This was going to be a long night. I was sure of it. At least they hadn't made me wear any underwear...

***

Amano and Moreno had to go to their respective homes to get ready, and told me they'd meet me outside of OJO afterwards. I shrugged and taking Casanova went on ahead to wait for them. I tied Casanova up to a palm tree just outside of OJO and stood waiting for my friends for about twenty minutes when they arrived. Moreno was dirt poor, so showed up wearing a plain, white shirt that looked off-white and almost beige since it had been washed so many times, and a pair of fraying, khaki pants. He had a red bandana tied around his head to hide his fro, and he was wearing an eye patch since he thought it made him look 'dashing'.

Standing next to Moreno, however, was not Amano, but some island wench that he had brought along with him. My eye twitched. Now was not the time to be picking up chicks. "Moreno, where's Amano? Who's the woman?" I had dismissed the woman quickly and was looking around for any sign of Amano.

"..." Apparently, I had rendered Moreno speechless.

"Machete," I felt a light touch on my arm, "It's me...Amano."

I did a double take. "Huh?!" My jaw dropped. Amano was dressed up like a woman! He was wearing an Elizabethan-style, purple, velvet dress with a long bell skirt, and a corset to show off his slim waist and hips. He even had lipstick and eye makeup on. His extremely curly, dirty-blonde hair had been styled up into some kind of up do. Damn, this was so weird, he looked just like a hot babe. "Amano?! What the hell?"

Amano freakin blushed, dude. "I decided to be true to myself...I like dressing up in female clothing. I'm sorry I never told you guys..."

Yea, so Amano had never _told_ us but that didn't mean that Moreno and myself didn't know about Amano's secret hobby of dressing up in female clothes from time to time. Moreno and I had once walked in on Amano trying on my mother Esperanza's clothes and we had quickly fled the room in shock. After that we just hadn't said anything. But I decided to play my part well and gawked at Amano while trying to look surprised. "You _like_ dressing up in women's clothes?"

"You think it's disgusting, don't you? You think _I'm_ disgusting don't you?" Amano hung his head, and sadness shone in his green eyes.

So one of my best friends just revealed to me that he secretly enjoyed dressing up in girl's clothing...? So what. Life was too short to make mountains out of molehills. "No...hell, if that's what you like to do...do it. I'm not going to judge you. Whatever floats your boat, dude. Dressed as a man...dressed as a girl...you're still Amano. You're still my best friend. I...accept you. Just don't hit on me or I'll have to slit your throat." I amended at the end, just to be safe.

Amano looked moved. "Machete...thanks..."

" _Maricon_! _Maricon_! _Maricon_!" My parrot Don Juan burst out.

"Shit, it was scary. I didn't recognize him either. I even tried to pick him up!" Moreno shuddered as he remembered this occurrence.

I laughed heartily in response. "Serves you right, pervert."

"Are you sure it's safe for you to go around dressed up like that though?" I stroked my goatee, as I looked Amano over. I hadn't shaved for a few weeks and a nice goatee had been coming in. I was pondering on whether to keep it or not. "You know you're going to get hit on by guys looking like that, right?"

Amano blushed slightly. "I know. I don't mind."

I coughed awkwardly into my hand. "Is that so...? Are you wearing _heels_? Are those fake nails? Is that...perfume?!" I sniffed at my friend. He smelled like a freakin flower! And his hairstyle was tall...making a perfect lightning rod and was probably only kept up by loads of pomade. I began to rub my temples. I could feel a headache coming on.

"Oh, you noticed?" Amano beamed at me as he wiggled his fingers at me, showing off his new, plastic, fake nails that were two inches long. "They only cost me three pieces-of-eight to get done. My weave cost another two pieces-of-eight. And the perfume cost one piece-of-eight."

Moreno and I gave Amano a horrified look. "WHAT? How come that shit is so expensive? That's highway robbery! We could have lived off of that money for months...!"

Moreno was nodding. "I know, man. I'll never understand why the ladies spend so much on those things. The _dominican_ girls I talk to say as soon as they get paid they all rush out to get their hair straightened, their nails done, and buy a new perfume. And then they don't have any money left! They're starving but they don't care as long as they have their nails done. Women."

"You guys just don't understand a young maiden's heart." Amano began. "They spend all their money on those things because they want to look good. When a woman thinks she looks good, she feels good, and has confidence. When she has confidence she can speak to any man she fancies."

"I don't _want_ to understand a young maiden's heart..." I muttered darkly.

"Amano, we accept you and everything, but we really don't want to listen to any more of this word-vomit." Moreno stated.

Amano looked abashed. "Sorry guys."

With a little flirting (courtesy of Amano) to the bouncer we were let inside of the OJO discotheque without having to pay the cover charge. The discotheque was impressive. It had an all mahogany wood exterior, a highly polished, wooden dance floor, and two large bars on either side of the dance floor, sitting areas and booths. I saw couples dancing exotic 'Latin' dances on the dance floor. Tango. Salsa. _Bachata_. I saw fat merchants dancing salsa with young _dominican_ girls. And _gringa_ merchant daughters dancing with hot-blooded _dominican_ guys: Sanky Pankys and _gangstas_. _Gangstas_ were _dominicans_ who didn't go after women for money and somehow actually had legit jobs in order to support the women they were with. These kind of _dominican_ men were few and far between. There were some really weird couples alright.

We went to take a seat at one of the tables and scanned the club for any sign of Blanca. She wasn't hard to spot. There she was seated at the bar...in a red silk salsa dress. Her golden hair was pulled to the side and adorned with a large red rose. A white wrap was around her shoulders. There was a pair of white silk shoes on her feet. Her red lipstick really stood out against her pale skin. There was also a choker around her neck with a red flower on it. Talk about a blonde bombshell.

Blanca was drinking a glass of white wine in a long-stemmed glass at the bar and seemingly unaware of all the heated stares directed her way. A stunning girl with golden hair in a red dress really stood out, sitting at a bar alone like that...

She really did look stunning and for a moment I felt intimidated. But I got over it. I wasn't like those other loser _dominicans_ trying to get Blanca's attention, with all that winking and nose twitching. I was...?

Me.

Machete.

Sanky Panky Machete.

I was _so_ the man.

No one else dared to stare so blatantly at Blanca – but I did. I stared at her, my eyes burning a hole into her back until Blanca sensed my gaze upon her and turned around to see who it was that was staring at her so intensely.

Blanca turned her head – and our eyes met – she looked me over and took in what I was wearing. Her eyes lingered on the boots. Heck, I was just as surprised as she was that I was in a pair of boots.

Blanca nodded, and smiled in a bemused manner before crooking her finger at me in an obvious come hither gesture.

Moreno and Amano became wide-eyed by this turn of events.

"You did it, brother. Hurry up and go over there!" Moreno began to push me out of my seat.

"Don't forget to take this." Amano slipped the drug into my hand. Our plan was that I would slip the drug into Blanca's drink and taking advantage of her drugged state seduce her or convince her into taking me back to her place. Once there I would search through her belongings and steal the map from her. This would be before or after I'd had sex with her depending on how things went. I took the drug instantly feeling guilty. This whole plan seemed shitty and cowardly to me, and not at all how I liked to do things. I went over and took the seat next to Blanca at the bar. "You're drinking a Salty Dog? How'd you like to try the real thing?" I asked her. I had wanted to use that line for a while but knew it was kinda crashing and burning since Blanca was drinking a glass of wine and _not_ a Salty Dog to begin with.

"How did you find me, Sanky Panky?" Blanca questioned me with a serious look on her face as she swirled her glass.

"My friend Moreno has a nose like a bloodhound – says he found you by your perfume." I shrugged, not knowing whether I believed his tall tale or not. "Do you wear Chanel?"

Blanca raised at eyebrow at that. "My perfume? How creepy. Remind me to strangle that perverted thief later." Blanca shuddered. "So...why are _you_ here? What do you want from me?"

"Well, I..." I looked at Blanca's glass of wine, felt the drug in my hand, and hesitated. ' _I really wanted to see you again_ '. I felt like saying that to her for some reason. "I, err, I wanted to dance with you." I have no idea why I suddenly said that.

Blanca blinked. "Dance?" She gave me a skeptical look. "I doubt a landlubber like you _could_ dance. You'd probably step on my delicate feet, brute. There's no way I'd dance with a man like you..."

I pouted at her.

Blanca went on to critique me. "You have absolutely no finesse, no grace, no delicacy and besides, I only ever dance with women. Alexandra." Blanca called and stood up from the bar. An exotic island girl with a curvaceous body and a wild, golden brown Afro was at Blanca's side in an instant. Blanca took Alexandra's hand and led her out to the dance floor. A hush fell upon the OJO dance floor as if everyone else knew that something incredible was about to happen. I held my breath.

There was a live band playing at OJO that night, which consisted of a guitar, a piano accordion, and two violins. They started playing a lively tango song. Blanca took the man's role and began to dance a sultry rendition of the tango with the _dominican_ girl. Blanca and Alexandra moved across the dance floor in prefect sync. I watched Blanca's dance moves and steps very closely.

_Tango huh?_ A cocky smile formed on my face. _Doesn't look so hard. It reminds me of a martial arts routine._

Blanca and the voluptuous _dominican_ girl tangoed across the dance floor smoothly and the eyes of all the men that were in OJO followed them. There was something hot, sensual, and alluring about two women dancing together. However, as I watched Blanca lead the _dominican_ woman across the dance floor and watched as Blanca's hands ran over Alexandra's curves, and watched as Blanca spun the young woman only to bring her body close to her own next - my hot Latin blood began to pulse loudly in my veins. My blood felt like it was on fire. I had become jealous though I'd never admit it to myself.

As I continued to watch Blanca bring Alexandra close to mold up against her body in another dance pose I finally couldn't take it any more. I stood up from my seat at the bar and stalked towards Blanca and the _dominican_ girl...

I took the _dominican_ woman's hand and spun her away from Blanca. Then I took Blanca's hand with my left and put my right hand on the small of her back – taking the male role. I had watched Blanca dance and so now I knew how to tango too. It was just like learning a martial arts routine - observe it once, do it, and put it into application. Sink or swim. Do or die. Or else you might get your head cut off by a _samurai_. Who said dance wasn't exciting?

And then, we danced. The band began to play a steamy, fast-paced version of the tango and I guided and spun Blanca across the dance floor. I took advantage of getting to mold her body against mine in a couple of sensual tango moves. I would bring her daringly close only to spin her away again. I lightly ran my hands over her body like she was a precious object.

And Blanca didn't resist as I had expected she would, but met and followed my every move skillfully. We danced together in perfect harmony. Tango was a dance of give and take, push and pull. She and I had suddenly become equals upon that dance floor. It was hot. I became slightly aroused but knew no one could see it because of my baggy cotton pants. Thank God. Having Blanca in my arms...I liked that feeling. I didn't want to let her go.

The merchants, the _lindas_ _gringas_ , the _dominican_ men and women - all held their breath as we tangoed. There was something sensual and primal about our dance that managed to draw everyone's attention. They all seemed to be waiting for something with baited breath. I noticed that Blanca's attention was solely on me and felt a swell of male pride in my chest.

She was looking at me. Just me.

_That's right. Look at me, my pretty gringa. Just me._ I thought in my mind as I held her close. _God...I want her._ I felt a possessive urge within me. I wanted her. I wanted to make her mine.

And then the music stopped. There we were panting for breath in each other's arms. Blanca stood and looked up at me before pulling away and heading back towards the bar. I felt empty without her in my arms and quickly hurried after her. Blanca was ordering another glass of wine. I did the same. I watched as the bartender put Blanca's glass of white wine in front of her. _Chance!_ If I were going to drug her, now would be the perfect time.

Blanca took a sip of her wine and stared at me. "Where did you learn how to dance like that, _dominican_?"

I shrugged. "I learned just now by watching you."

Blanca's eye widened slightly. "Really...you are no ordinary man. You should get off this rock, Machete. Make a name for yourself out on the Seven Seas."

"I intend to." I acknowledged as I took a sip of my wine.

"Perhaps, you should come with me." Blanca suddenly suggested, a sparkle in her blue-gray eyes.

"Huh?" I was suddenly caught off guard by her offer.

"No...never mind..." Blanca looked out at the dance floor where she saw Alexandra dancing with one of her students and practicing their salsa together. I learned later on that Alexandra was a dance teacher and taught the locals as well as the merchants who temporarily came to The Dominican Republic any kind of dance they wished to learn. I used this moment of distraction to pour the drug into Blanca's wine glass.

When she looked back at me her eyes were sad. She picked up her wine glass and brought it to her lips slowly. I held my breath – resisting the urge to whack the glass of wine out of her hand. But Blanca was an enemy, right? She had made a fool out of my brother...and had lied to us about who she really was. We still knew next to nothing about her.

And then Blanca suddenly changed her mind and set her glass of wine back down on the bar. "You know, I have the sudden desire to sing!"

_Oh crap!_ _Not good!_ "S-s-sing?!" My voice cracked.

Blanca gave me a suspicious look before standing up. "This song is especially for you, Machete." Blanca declared before sashaying over to the stage. She motioned for the band to accompany her before she began to sing.

_Crap! Crap! Crap!_ I tried to put my fingers in my ears, but I could still hear Blanca's ethereal song. Was it my imagination or was her song sad this time?

A sad, beautiful, haunting melody...

And then I knew no more. (Man, I hated when that happened!)

***

Blanca watched in satisfaction as everyone in the OJO discotheque fell asleep. She took out a bag and began to empty everyone's pocket of his or her doubloons or pieces-of-eight. Blanca recognized Machete's two friends: the peeping tom/pervert/underwear thief and the transvestite. She shook her head, wondering what Machete saw in those two landlubbers. Then Blanca made her way over to Machete. She took out her one shot pistol and put it to his forehead. "I could kill you right now if I wanted to, _dominican_." Blanca pulled down on the trigger. Her hand was shaking and she ultimately pulled her gun away from his head. "Dammit. Why did he try to drug me? Does he intend to kill me? Did Captain Wrath really send him?" Blanca chewed on her lower lip worriedly.

"I really should kill you but...that would be a waste of such a handsome man." Blanca put her one shot pistol back into the cleavage of her corset. "I might as well have some fun with him first. I wonder what he'll think about predator becoming prey. You underestimated me, _dominican_. You have no idea who you're really dealing with. My real name is Captain Lust. I'm one of the Seven Deadly Pirates. I'll take my pleasure from you and then kill you...Sanky Panky Machete..." A sinister smile formed on her red-painted lips.

***

I woke up in a hotel room somewhere on a bed completely naked with my wrists and ankles tied to the bedposts with leather straps. I experimentally tugged at my bonds – I could easily break free...but who had captured me...? I decided I should find this out first before I made my move.

"Ah, you're finally awake. I was beginning to get tired of waiting." Came a smooth, velvety voice.

I turned to see Blanca sitting cross-legged in a chair while wearing a Japanese-style robe that was a thick silk material. The _kimono_ robe was white and the thick belt around her waist was red. If my hunch was right...that's all she was wearing. Her damp, blonde tresses were haphazardly being held up by two long, golden chopsticks. It looked like she'd just gotten out of the shower. Her pale skin was still glistening from the steam of her hot shower. I could also smell the scent of soap and shampoo. Blanca had another glass of white wine in her hand.

_Blanca? So Blanca captured me...?_ I immediately felt confused by this.

Blanca stood up and approached me. "How does it feel to be the one who's been tricked, Sanky Panky? How does it feel to be the one who's been fooled rather than to make someone the fool? Hmm? How does it feel to become someone's prey and not to be their predator?" Blanca gave me an accusing look.

I gave Blanca a blank look. "Huh?"

"You probably planned to do this to me. You tried to drug me. Don't try and deny it. I saw you put the drug into my drink. Now the only question is _why_ did you try to drug me?" Blanca purred as she leaned in close, her eyes held a dangerous glint.

I swallowed nervously. _Crap! Crap! Crap!_

Blanca set her glass of wine down on the table before she climbed up onto the bed and surprised me by straddling my hips. Blanca reached her hand between her breasts and I wondered what the hell she was doing before she took out her pistol and pointed it at my head. Oh, that's right. I had forgotten. Blanca didn't just keep her perfect breasts in there but also a miniature flintlock pistol. I should have been afraid but at the time I was thinking that that had been fun to watch. "For the last time pirate...who sent you?!" She demanded.

It was time to come back to reality and try to start thinking seriously. Key word: try. "No one...this isn't what it looks like."

"Were you sent to kill me?" Blanca pressed the gun against my temple. I could tell she was serious. This woman...had probably killed before. She was no innocent angel, but a dangerous woman. I had completely underestimated her and now I was at her mercy.

But for some odd reason Blanca seemed to bring out my honesty. "No...I would never hurt you."

Blanca gave me a strange, pensive look. "Then why did you drug me?"

"Because...I'm pathetic. I wanted to have sex with you but knew you'd never sleep with a lowly _dominican_ like me while in your right mind...you're way out of my league..." I gave her a sheepish look and tried my best to look non-threatening.

"So let me get this straight," Blanca purred silkily and pressed the pistol harder against my head, a fierce look in her eyes. "You drugged me so that you could _rape_ me, you filthy pirate scum, prepare to die!" She began to pull down on the trigger.

_Crap!_ This whole 'plan' to steal the treasure map from the Siren Witch Blanca was falling to pieces. But what could I tell her? It wasn't like I could tell her I drugged her so I could steal the treasure map to Captain Pride's gold now could I? But this lie was getting frightening close to the truth of my questionable actions. I really was scum and felt guilty. Maybe I should have just _asked_ Blanca about the map instead of the guys getting me to agree to this fucked up plan.

"I should kill you," Blanca sneered, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"I'm...sorry." _Man, this is so lame._ "I couldn't control myself. I lusted after you because you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You're like a Goddess. So far away...it was painful. I know what I did was wrong. I deserve to die. You're right. I'm scum. Kill me." _How much of the crap I'm spewing is clever lies and how much is the truth?_ I shut my eyes and awaited the inevitable.

"I really should kill you..." She sounded befuddled. "I certainly can't forgive you. But I think I'll punish you instead. I think I'll do what you wanted to do to me. I'll rape _you_. I'll make you just lay there as I take _you_." She put her gun away in her cleavage. Man, that was fun to watch. "I'll take that male pride of yours down a notch or two..."

I opened my eyes and stared back at her hoping my emotions wouldn't reveal themselves on my face. So...Blanca was going to have sex with me in order to punish me? And that was going to be my punishment. Did I really understand that right? I probably should have been worried but I was feeling pretty lucky right then. "Do as you wish." I instantly agreed, feeling guilty again of my previous actions. She was right. I deserved to be treated this way.

"Let's see if you can satisfy me better than my usual toy..." Blanca taunted as she held up a carved wooden phallus and waved it in front of my face. (That was the seventeenth century woman's version of a dildo).

It was bigger than mine. Ouch. And the dildo was carved surprisingly realistically with balls and everything. " _Oi!_ It's humiliating for a guy to be treated this way, you know. Like a toy..."

"Are you suddenly complaining? You have no right to complain. Or did you forget that it was I who was wronged first?" She gave me a hard stare.

I stared back at Blanca, and averted my gaze. Guilt was welling up inside of me. She was right. "Arrr...do what you want, wench."

"I intend to..." Blanca declared as she undid the thick belt of her robe and let the robe fall down her body to reveal her beautiful breasts. They were white, perfectly round and had the most perfect pink nipples. I longed to touch them. They were the size of grapefruits. "Take my pleasure."

" _Usted tiene un cuerpo de diosa_ ...you have the body of a Goddess..." I said, my voice husky.

Blanca blushed. She said nothing as she raised her body, straddling me, and began to impale herself on my straining shaft. The feeling of Blanca's tight, moist, inner walls gripping my length almost sent me over the edge-!

But Blanca wrapped her index finger and thumb around the base of my cock and squeezed hard. "Don't you even dare think of cumming so soon...Sanky Panky...not until I've gotten my pleasure..."

I swallowed and nodded. I was completely at this powerful woman's mercy.

And then Blanca began to move on top of me. I couldn't believe it. Blanca and I were having sex.

Blanca slowly began to let go. She reached up and removed the chopsticks from her hair so that her hair cascaded down over her back and breasts in golden waves. She tossed her head and hair as she moved and writhed above me in pleasure. "Ah, it's so thick...and long...and big...it's filled me to the hilt. _Su pene es muy impresionante._ Ah...so good! Your thing is so good!" Blanca began to become lost in the ecstasy I was giving her.

"Kiss me. I'll make you feel even better." I offered.

Blanca looked down at me, her eyes glazed with lust and I watched as she bit her lower lip and gave me an almost fearful look. I wondered what she could possibly be afraid of. I was completely her prisoner. But then Blanca leaned over my chest, I could feel her breasts pressing against my bare chest and then her lips were touching mine. At first we both kept our mouths closed but then I felt Blanca open her mouth and I wasted no time in plunging my tongue to ravage the inside of her mouth and claim it. I wanted to give her a visual image of what I could do to her with my other appendage if I wasn't tied up. I think it worked.

Our tongues clashed and Blanca moaned against my mouth. I thrust my hips upwards and Blanca cried out. "So good!"

I smirked and thrust upwards again and Blanca slammed her hips down upon me, meeting me. Having sex with Blanca was like our tango dance. We were dancing again. But this time without clothes. We were both losing ourselves in the passion of the moment. I could feel that Blanca was close to reaching her orgasm since her inner walls were beginning to tighten around me. I was close to cumming too but...ladies first.

"Ah...Machete!" Blanca cried as she reached her orgasm and tossed her head back and sang some musical note...like a bird...

Whoa.

The sight of her with her head thrown back in ecstasy like that, with a good view of her sexy bare neck, and the sound she made of pleasure - sent me over the edge.

***

I was the first to wake up several hours later. I was still tied to the bed and Blanca was fast asleep, lying on my chest. She had passed out after our lovemaking session and her intense climax. I looked down at her sleeping face. I smiled. She looked so cute and vulnerable. So different from whom she appeared to be when she was awake. The young woman she resembled now was not at all like the strong, deadly, and powerful woman I had met last night. Was this the _real_ Blanca? What could I do so that she would take down all her walls when we were both awake? I decided, I liked this hidden side of Blanca the most.

There were just so many 'sides' to Blanca. Who was the real Blanca? The prim, elegant _señora_? The spoiled, sheltered, weak merchant's daughter? The strong, merciless, powerful woman, who was capable of tying up a 'pirate' and making threats, and even using him for her own sexual pleasure like a toy! She was a sex kitten...no, a _princessa reina_ ...I smirked at the nickname I had given her in my mind.

I didn't want to wake her. I flexed my wrist muscles and pulled on my leather bonds. I snapped them easily and did the same thing for the bonds around my ankles. I then gently moved Blanca off of me so that she wouldn't wake and got out of the bed slowly and as silently as possible.

I sighed and ran a hand back through my dirty hair. I felt like scum for what I was about to do. I needed to search Blanca's room for the treasure map. I spotted my clothes in a folded pile on a nearby chair with my machete lying on top. I dressed quickly and then began my search of Blanca's hotel room.

I rummaged through her drawers, bags and expensive, leather luggage. I spotted a large bag and opened it. My eyes bulged. It was filled with _pesos-de-ocho_ as well as doubloons! But where had Blanca gotten so much gold? I wondered. And then I spotted a familiar looking pocket watch – the same pocket watch that Moreno had 'pick-pocketed' off some merchant at Jose Oshay's. Which could only mean Blanca had stolen the watch from Moreno. A thief stealing from a thief. _Whoa. Wait a second._ Blanca was some kind of Siren Thief? _No way._ A siren who would sing to men and rob them blind...

Now a lot of things finally made sense.

I looked over at Blanca, sleeping on the bed, looking innocent, childlike, and pure with that halo of golden hair fanning out over her pillow. I shook my head ruefully. That woman was dangerous. She was a devil.

But still sexy as hell.

I spotted a strange looking leather knapsack and rummaged inside of it. I felt a bottle and pulled it out. It was an empty rum bottle and inside was a piece of rolled up paper. _Jackpot._ I fished the piece of paper out and unrolled it to reveal that it was in fact a treasure map. It showed the entire Seven Seas...and X marked the spot at an unnamed island. I rolled the map back up and put it inside my shirt. I looked at Blanca one last time before turning to go-

I stopped in my tracks. I couldn't just leave...

I spotted a blank piece of paper on the writing desk that was in the room. I wondered if I should try and write her a letter. I was not one for words, so I used the paper to make an _origami_ rose instead. It was something random The Samurai had taught me to do one day when it was raining and we couldn't practice our martial arts. I put the paper rose inside of the glass bottle and put the bottle back inside of Blanca's knapsack. I then left the hotel room and Blanca behind.

***

I met up with Amano, Moreno, (Don Juan was sitting on Moreno's shoulder) and Santiago at ONNOS. Amano and Moreno seemed nervous. "Machete?! You're back...did you get the map?" Moreno asked quickly.

I reached inside my shirt and pulled out the treasure map and smirked. "Just who do you think I am? I'm Machete."

Moreno grinned and thumped me on the back. "You dog! So you really did manage to seduce her! I want details!"

My expression fell. "Er...not exactly. I didn't seduce her. She...I guess you could say she seduced me. Kinda sorta. It's...complicated." I scratched at my head.

"She tied you up?" How was it that Moreno was so good at reading between the lines when perverted things were being discussed? "You lucky dog..."

"Moreno!" Amano looked shocked.

"I never would have thought you'd be into S and M stuff, Machete. Especially _not_ as the one being tied up. I figured you had too much pride for that." Moreno gave me a pensive look before he grinned. "I'm glad you didn't let that pride of yours get in the way of good sex. Sex is always more important than pride, got that Machete? Sex is like every man's number one priority."

"I didn't have much of a choice..." I let out a heavy sigh. "I let her tie me up because I deserved it. Anyways, I got the map. Now all we need is a ship and we can start out on our quest. How the hell are we going to get our hands on a ship?" I wondered and stroked my goatee thoughtfully.

Damian, who had been eavesdropping on our conversation decided to put his two cents in. "Even if she tied you up, she still slept with you. That woman likes you to some degree. Men and women are different. Men can sleep with women they don't even like but women can't sleep with a man they don't like. Well, unless they're a _puta_ and they have no choice, but Blanca is no _puta_ right?"

I gave Damian a skeptical look. "Blanca likes me? Yea right."

"We have one more problem." Moreno began.

"Yea?" I asked.

"The Merchant Police are after Amano and I." Moreno went on to explain.

"Huh? Why? What happened?" I asked.

"Everyone in OJO fell asleep for some reason last night and when we woke up everyone had been robbed except for Moreno and I, so everyone else assumed it was us!" Amano explained fretfully, wringing his hands.

"It's time for us to get off this rock, Machete." Moreno put a hand on my shoulder. "We're not welcome here in Cabarete Village anymore."

"Fucking idiot officers." I snarled. "But where are we going to find a ship we can afford?" I asked beginning to hit my head repeatedly on the bar counter.

"Let's go to Ocean Sand's Harbor and see if we can't just _borrow_ a ship." Moreno suggested.

"Not a bad idea." I nodded.

Amano looked worried. "You mean you're going to _steal_ a ship? You'll hang from the gallows for that...!"

Poor, gentle Amano. I faced him. "Amano...if you dress like a man again no one will know it was you at OJO that night. You don't have to run away with us. This quest...is bound to be dangerous. I know you have an aversion to fighting and that you're a pacifist. We won't think less of you if you decide to stay here."

"No...I don't want to stay here. I want to go with you guys! Please...please don't leave me behind..." Amano became teary-eyed at the prospect of being left behind.

I grinned. "I guess that's settled then. You're coming too. Just try not to trip in those heels of yours!"

"Right!" Amano wiped a tear from his eye and gave me a grateful look.

Moreno, Amano, Don Juan, and I rushed to the Ocean Sand's Harbor right after that (Don Juan flew obviously). The place was heavily guarded. Everyone was probably on edge because Captain Tiburón's pirate crew was going around the island and doing whatever they wanted. _Crap!_ There were crew, guards and officers on the decks of every ship. Well, all the ships except for one...!

A ship sat in an eerie silence in the harbor. Only it was dead of activity. It looked like a ghost ship with its ratty sails and hull that appeared to be in dire need of some repairs. The hull had been painted white at one point but now the paint was peeling in places. It was a creepy ship but it looked deserted. The vessel was slightly smaller than the Behemoth - it only had two masts, about half as many sails and I only saw one bow chaser and stern chaser. The ship's figurehead was of a ferocious looking white wolf that was posed in a leap.

"Whose ship is that?" I asked curiously.

"That's Captain Adolpho's ship." Came a voice in a spooky manner from out of the mist that was blanketing the harbor.

"AHHH!" My friends and I screamed and jumped in fright. We turned to see Santiago watching us with a bemused expression on his face, hands on his hips.

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "If you're all here looking for a ship I take it your mission was successful. You managed to steal the treasure map from the Siren Witch Blanca?"

When Moreno, Amano, Santiago and I had earlier discussed 'The Plan' Santiago told us he'd have no part in it because he thought the whole plan was 'ungentlemanly' - tricking Blanca like that. I gave my brother a stony look. "Yea, I got it. Wait, Adolpho...you don't mean that drunk old man do you?"

Santiago nodded stoically. "The very same. I always knew there was more to that drunken old man than meets the eye. Anyways, we need to convince him to go on this treasure hunt with us. To take a ship out of the Ocean Sand's Harbor without the Harbor Guard resisting, we'll need clearance to depart...we need Captain Adolpho."

I nodded, cracked my neck from side to side, and then cracked my knuckles. I got it. "So I just need to beat up Captain Adolpho and get his departure approval?"

"Er, not exactly, Machete. We should convince him to come with us and-" Santiago began.

"Where is the old man now?" I interrupted him.

"At ONNOS bar. But-" Santiago was saying.

I cut my brother off. "Alright! Let's go to ONNOS bar!" I declared before I started off.

"YEA! Aye aye!" Moreno and Amano cheered, raising their fists into the air.

Santiago sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

***

Moreno, Amano, Santiago, Don Juan and I all went to ONNOS bar to find Captain Adolpho. We entered and I spotted Adolpho at the bar with two attractive, voluptuous, and scantily clad _dominican_ girls – one on each arm. _Ah, what money can buy..._

I strutted up to Adolpho. "Hey there, old man, give me your harbor departure pass." I stuck out my hand.

Adolpho was drunk. He took another direct swig from the bottle of rum he was holding in his hand before he twirled to face me in an unsteady manner, nearly falling out of his stool in the process. He squinted at me as if he couldn't make me out clearly. "Machete...what was that? Ye want me harbor pass? What for, _dominican_ lad."

Before things could get ugly my brother stepped in between us, adjusted his cravat and then spoke. "Captain Adolpho...we need your ship." My brother intended to begin negotiations most likely.

"Captain?" Adolpho's eyes narrowed at Santiago. "How did ye learn about that, laddie?"

"The new captain of the _Mad Captain_ \- recently renamed the _Green Leviathan -_ told me." Santiago explained.

"The _Mad Captain_?" Adolpho drawled drunkenly, "Ye mean Captain Greed's ship? I saw it leave the harbor." Adolpho took another thoughtful swig of rum.

"It's Sebastian's ship now. Captain Greed is dead." Santiago informed the drunken old man.

"Sebastian? Ye can't mean that sickly little boy? He's a pirate captain now?" Adolpho chuckled. "I really must be four sheets to the wind!"

"He goes by the name Captain Tiburón now. Although he managed to win himself a spot in the Seven Deadly Pirates so he's also known as Captain Envy. Can you believe that Sebastian has become one of the Seven Deadly Pirates that rule our seas? It's unreal right? Well, it was Sebastian who took over Cabarete Village. But Captain Tiburón made a deal with Machete to ransom the village. Have you heard about how the Pirate King Captain Pride is dead?" Santiago questioned Adolpho.

Adolpho took another long swig from his bottle of rum. "I heard about it alright..."

"Well, as he was dying Captain Pride threw message bottles with treasure maps inside of them out to sea. The pirate captain who finds the treasure map and then the treasure first becomes the new Pirate King. We're not interested in becoming the next Pirate King but we are interested in that treasure. Machete made a deal with Captain Tiburón to buy back Cabarete Village's freedom for one thousand pieces-of-eight! The estimated value of Captain Pride's lost treasure!" Santiago informed Adolpho.

"X marks the spot! X marks the spot! X marks the spot!" Don Juan said.

"Machete stole a copy of the map from a Siren Witch. Now we just need a ship and we can set sail on our quest to find the Pirate King's treasure. So...you have to help us. Come with us...on this treasure hunt, Captain Adolpho. I'm begging you." Santiago bowed deeply before the ex-captain.

Adolpho stroked his bushy white beard thoughtfully. "The Pirate King's treasure? Doesn't interest me. And now ye ask for my help? Machete was demanding me harbor departure pass just a second ago...which is it? Are ye demanding me harbor pass or asking for me help?" Adolpho's blue eyes glittered with malice.

"Asking for your help-" My brother began quickly.

"Demanding your harbor pass." I said at the same time.

Santiago and I both turned to glare at each other. Lightning seemed to flash between our gazes. "Idiot brother...why would we need the help of a drunk old man?"

Santiago slapped a hand to his forehead and shook his head in exasperation. "Ugh...why do you have to be so tactless?!"

"So I'm just a drunk old man am I?" Captain Adolpho growled in a low voice. "Young people these days have no respect for their elders! Well, if this drunken old man is so useless then why don't ye just try taking me harbor pass from me by force, Machete? Ye were never a man of words but a man of action anyways. Quick tempered and slow minded." Adolpho reached into his ratty, brown, long coat and pulled out exactly what we needed: the harbor pass.

_Gotcha, old man._ I smirked, nodded, and cracked my knuckles. Adolpho was right. This was no time for pointless words – now was the time for action. "I'm sorry, old man. It's nothing personal but I need that harbor pass. I'm going to end this with one hit."

"Be my guest." Adolpho said as he just stood there unflinchingly.

I flung my fist forward at Adolpho – expecting to punch him right in the face – however Adolpho moved sideways and dodged my attack. My fist went flying into several rum bottles that had been sitting on the bar counter. The bottles shattered on impact, sending shards of glass flying into the air.

"Eyahhhh!" The two _dominican_ whores cried in fright as they ducked for cover and threw their arms over their heads to protect their faces from the broken glass shards. They then ran off in their five-inch heels looking for a place to hide.

Adolpho yawned widely as he slowly got off the bar stool and turned to face me with a bored expression on his face.

I blinked back at Adolpho in shock. How had a drunken old man evaded my attack? _Luck?_ "You just got lucky, old man. You won't get lucky two times in a row though!" I lunged at Adolpho and flung another punch at him-

[MACHETE VS CAPTAIN ADOLPHO] FIGHT!

Once again Adolpho easily dodged my attack. _What the hell?_

Adolpho yawned. "Really Machete is that the best ye've got? Hotheaded punk. I thought ye were going to knock me out with one blow. What happened to that? Ye're all talk, lad. All bark and no bite."

I grew angry. "I'll show you bite." I attacked Adolpho again, throwing punches at him left and right, but Adolpho just dodged. Adolpho picked up a bottle of rum and took a swig from it as I continued to try and land a punch on him. I was in shock and so were my friends. Maybe Adolpho wasn't just some drunken old man, after all.

"So the rumors about him were true. He really is a retired pirate captain." Santiago breathed.

"Retired?" Moreno asked.

"According to the rumors Captain Adolpho was a renowned pirate captain but one day he just up and vowed he'd never sail again. That's when he became the drunk of Cabarete Village." Santiago informed us.

The old man wasn't even taking me seriously.

"Okay, my turn." Adolpho declared as I was rushing him head on in a reckless manner – Adolpho brought his broad forehead forward and headbutted me with a _bam_!

I was sent flying back across a table and into the far wall of ONNOS. His strength...wasn't normal. Wasn't _human_. I staggered to my feet. _Unreal._

"Good for nothing, cocky, _dominican_ punk." Adolpho snarled. "I thought ye said ye were going to hit me."

_Grrrr._ "Adolpho!" I charged at him again, blood tricking down my forehead. I punched and punched but Adolpho blocked my blows one handed while drinking from his bottle of rum.

_Bastard!_ And then Adolpho picked up a table with his two hands and threw it at me!

At the same time the two _dominican_ girls tried to run out of the way and ran behind me. I realized that if I moved to dodge the table that the two girls directly behind me would end up getting obliterated. _Crap!_ I stood firm and raised my first. "AHHH!" I punched the table using all my strength-

It exploded into wood splinters that went zooming through the air dangerously. "Look out!" I cried as I lunged at the girls and pushed them to the floor – wood splinters and debris showered down upon me as I shielded the two girls. After the danger had passed I got up and checked to see if the two girls were unharmed. " _Oi_ , are you girls okay?" I was all scraped up and bleeding in places.

" _Estamos bien, gracias a usted, amable señor. Tú eres nuestra príncipe azul_ , Machete! We're alright, thanks to you, kind sir. You are our Blue Prince, Machete!" They gushed in Spanish.

Adolpho watched as I helped the girls to stand. "It's dangerous here, lassies, so why don't ye go over there with me hearties. They'll look after ye." I directed them over to Moreno and Amano.

" _Si señor!_ Okay, sir!" They ran off to my friends obediently.

I turned to face Adolpho once more.

But Adolpho was eyeing me curiously. "Ye may be a hotheaded idiot, Machete, but ye've got heart." He took a swig of rum and tossed the bottle on the floor where it shattered with a crash. "Something I've lost long ago. Ye protected Dulce and Corazón...when I had completely lost my head and forgotten about them. I've decided to help ye, lad. I'll accompany ye to find this treasure of yers. God knows ye'll need me help on such a perilous quest."

I blinked back at Adolpho in confusion. He was going to help us? "You'll be captain of our ship, err, your ship?"

Adolpho shook his head. "I'm too old and useless to be captain. Santiago will be the _Wandering Wolf_ 's new captain. He's the only one of ye that has any sense about him."

"Hey!" Moreno and Amano both objected.

"I'll be helping ye as a thanks for helping to protect me wenches." Adolpho smirked. "Consider yourself lucky, lad. I've got connections out in these seas."

"Whoa, wait a sec – your 'wenches'?" I couldn't help but ask.

Adolpho nodded. "Why yes, Dulce and Corazón are me lovers."

I looked over at the two _dominican_ girls again, finally giving them my full attention - they had to be barely eighteen. And Captain Adolpho was at least three times their age. The girls were cute, dark-skinned, with long, dark (straightened) hair, fake nails, and fake toenails. They were wearing skimpy leather outfits, corsets, and short, frilly skirts. I hummed. "Hmm. Aren't you a little old to be having threesomes, old man? You'll have a heart attack."

Santiago began to choke on air.

Moreno began to laugh loudly and slapped his knee in amusement.

Amano looked uncomfortable as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Ménage à trois! Ménage à trois! Ménage à trios!" Squawked my parrot Don Juan.

"Old? Didn't ye know seventy is the new thirty, lad! Which means ye're still in diapers. Some lassies like an old salt with some real experience under their belt. A man who knows what he's doing..." Captain Adolpho drawled.

"More likely, they like a man with deep pockets and one foot in the grave." I countered.

Captain Adolpho frowned. "Dulce and Corazón aren't like that. They love me." Adolpho said with conviction.

"They said that?" I raised an eyebrow at the drunkard.

"Aye..." Captain Adolpho insisted.

"Fool." I shook my head at the delusional old man.

***

"Well, lads, let's see that treasure map of yers, so we can see what we're up against." Adolpho suggested.

Santiago handed Adolpho the treasure map, which he unrolled and flattened with both his hands on a nearby table. "Hmmm," He started as he stroked his bushy white beard, "This is going to be a perilous journey indeed. The shortest and fastest route to reach our destination is going to take us through treacherous waters. We'll probably have no choice but to head to _Sakura Jima_ , the Island of the Cherry Blossoms to re-supply. That's where the ancient Monster Hunter Clan has their headquarters. We'll then have to find a way to bypass Siren Rock, which is dangerously close to Transylvania Island. Rumors have it that vampires and beautiful sirens inhabit the island. Then we'll have to cross the Bermuda Triangle, somehow make it through _Shark's Teeth_ , a ship's graveyard where waters get dangerously shallow, and head to this unnamed island that's marked here as our final destination and which shouldn't even exist...I don't remember this island being on any of my maps for one thing." Adolpho scratched his chin in thought. "It's probably the same Lost Island the Pirate King was searching for. "Are ye boys willing to risk life and limb for this treasure?"

I nodded. "Yea."

"A pirate-hater becoming a pirate." Adolpho gave me a funny look. "Ye're a lot like _him_ ..."

"Who?" I asked.

"Yer hot-blooded father, Captain Pride. I was sorry to hear he died. Yer father was an...interesting man." Captain Adolpho gave me an acknowledging nod.

"Not a _good_ man?" I raised an eyebrow at the captain.

Adolpho shrugged. "A good pirate? Wouldn't that be an oxymoron? Do ye have the balls to do what it takes to be a real pirate, lad? To pillage and plunder and take what we need? To kill those who stand in yer way if need be? Being a pirate isn't all fun and games...it's hell. To become a devil to best a devil...that's what yer father was trying to do, lad."

"And what devil was he trying to best?" Santiago asked, leaning forward and giving Captain Adolpho an intent look.

"The sea, maybe." Adolpho replied offhandedly. "Maybe not."

"I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to get that treasure, to ransom Cabarete Village back from Captain Tiburón, and have him free my mother...!" My eyes were on fire.

"Well, it's a race against time then. Message bottles containing those treasure maps are floating all through the Seven Seas. We won't be the only pirate crews after the treasure. Don't forget whatever pirate captain gets the treasure first is the new Pirate King. This is a race, a pirate race. We have to get to the Lost Island first. Ye boys stole this treasure map from the Lady Blanca right?"

"Yep." I said.

"Then we'd best be on our way. The Lady Blanca...is no lady. She's a pirate captain." Adolpho informed us.

"A pirate captain? You're shitting me," I said giving Adolpho an incredulous look.

"Oh, she'll come after us. Ye can count on that. The worst thing to fear in these waters is a woman scorned. So we had better hurry. To the _Wandering Wolf_!" Captain Adolpho declared.

"Alright! Aye aye Captain!" We all cheered.

***

Moreno, Amano, Don Juan, Santiago, Adolpho, Dulce, Corazón and I all boarded the _Wandering Wolf_ and were soon underway with a few quick orders from the ex-pirate Captain Adolpho, which Santiago was quick to repeat to our rag-tag crew as the _Wandering Wolf_ 's new captain. It's a miracle we were able to get the ship out to sea by ourselves, but once we put our mind to it and followed Adolpho's instructions we somehow managed it. Adolpho intended to show Santiago the ropes of being a captain along the way. Luckily, my brother was a fast learner.

"Weigh anchor and hoist the sails!" Captain Adolpho roared and then nodded to Santiago to give the same order.

"Weigh anchor and host the sails!" Santiago repeated.

"Aye aye, Captain!" The crew of the _Wandering Wolf_ shouted.

Captain Adolpho was wasting no time in leaving Ocean Sand's Harbor. He seemed to think Blanca would be coming after us, which at the time I thought was completely ludicrous. I mean, Blanca, a pirate captain? Get real.

However, just as we began to leave the harbor, Moreno, who had taken position in the crow's nest pointed towards the Ocean Sand's Harbor and yelled out. "Approaching ship, Captain! It looks like the _Behemoth_ – Captain Bartholomew's ship!"

"The _Behemoth_?!" I ran across the deck and to the stern of the ship where I looked behind us. Sure enough the fat galleon was chasing after us and I recognized the ship as being the _Behemoth_ as well. I felt a trickle of sweat form on my brow in response. "No way..."

Santiago took out a long, bronze telescope and looked at the ship behind us. He went pale as he recognized the ship also. "It's Blanca but she..." He trailed off.

"Give me that!" I grabbed the telescope out of my brother's hand and looked at the deck of the _Behemoth_ – Blanca was easy to spot as usual. Blanca was wearing a white tube dress. Over this dress she was wearing a long, white jacket with golden embroidery. She was wearing a pair of white leather, knee-high boots with cuffs. She also had a white and gold pirate captain hat on the top of her head with a large, red curled feather in it. Her long blonde hair was cascading loose around her shoulders in waves. She had bright red lipstick on. She had a red sash belt tied around her thin waist and I noticed she had a cutlass stuck in it.

"Blanca..." My eyes widened. "She really _is_ a pirate captain." I gawked. "Dude...and she was your fiancé." I murmured to my brother.

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "Well, I never knew much about her. I thought she was a lady, but now...she's all yours, Machete."

I gaped at my brother. "What?! I don't want her. I don't make it a habit of wanting women who have tried to kill me."

"She's tried to kill you?" Santiago asked, giving me a curious look before a knowing expression came across his face. "Yea, but you probably deserved that didn't you?"

" _Oi!_ " I objected, feeling indignant.

Captain Adolpho grabbed the telescope out of my hand next and peered at the deck of the _Behemoth_. "She's hypnotized the crew with her siren's song, the clever wench."

"Hypnotized?" I asked.

"Load the cannons, you scurvy dogs! Now – FIRE!" Blanca's voice echoed over the sea.

There was a loud _boom_! I watched through the telescope as Blanca unmistakably issued the order to fire upon us again. _Oh hell no..._

Cannon balls went zooming our way.

" _Coñio_! That wicked wench!" I swore.

Adolpho stalked over to the helm swiftly. "We're going to dodge them! The _Wandering Wolf_ is smaller and faster than the _Behemoth_. Hold on, me hearties!" Adolpho put both hands on the wheel and turned the wheel hard to port as he evaded Blanca's first attack. He looked behind him and turned the ship hard to starboard next as he evaded yet another barrage of cannon fire. Adolpho continued to expertly maneuver the ship to avoid cannon fire until-

"Oh shit...cannon balls are coming at us from the starboard and the port side! What do we do now Captain?!" Moreno called down from the crow's nest.

"Blow me down..." Adolpho muttered darkly.

I had a sudden idea. "Adolpho, dodge hard to port! I'll take care of the other cannon ball on our starboard side!" I declared taking out my machete and approaching the stern of the ship.

"Crazy scallywag...alright!" Adolpho agreed reluctantly as he spun the helm hard to port.

I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Amano giving me a worried look. "Machete! What are you going to do against a cannon ball?! Don't be crazy, you'll get hurt!"

I shrugged Amano's hand off my arm and gave him a cocky smirk. "Don't fret, worrywart. Just watch. Trust me." I stated as I held up my machete in a two-handed grip with the flat of the blade facing towards Blanca's ship.

The cannonball whizzed straight for me through the air, and I swung my machete at the cannonball. The flat of my blade hit the cannonball, and I kept swinging my machete forward like a baseball bat, and hit the cannonball away from the ship and 'out of the park'. Home run. WHOOSH! The cannonball went flying towards Blanca's ship and hit the water next to it before it exploded and caused her ship to rock violently back and forth.

"Alright! YEA!" I shouted loudly.

"Blimey! Blimey! Blimey!" Don Juan exclaimed.

Everyone's jaw dropped as they watched what I had just done. Adolpho was chuckling merrily. "Well done, laddie, why didn't I think of that? The best defense is a good offense. Santiago, take the helm. I'm going to help Machete with those cannonballs!"

Santiago took the helm, a confused look on his face. "Captain Adolpho?"

Captain Adolpho ripped off a piece of wood from the ship's railing and held it like a club. He then came to stand next to me at the ship's stern. Side by side, Adolpho and I faced Blanca's ship and awaited her next attack.

"FIRE!" Blanca cried out.

A series of loud _boom!_ s rocked the air.

More cannonballs went zooming our way. Adolpho and I looked at each other and nodded before facing the oncoming cannonballs. I swung my machete and hit the cannonballs back towards Blanca's ship in quick succession. Adolpho swung the piece of railing he had and sent cannonballs flying Blanca's way next. "Arrrr!" He cried out as his muscles bulged and seemed to grow in size. The hair on his face seemed to increase, as he appeared to become even hairier. Or maybe I was just seeing things, but was Adolpho becoming more...beastlike? I wondered.

I swung my machete and aimed for the mizzen of the _Behemoth_. It was a home run. The cannon ball hit the mizzen, shattering it and it toppled over and crashed to the deck of the _Behemoth_. The crew of the _Behemoth_ ducked and dived out of the way.

Even Blanca was forced to leap out of the way. She quickly pushed herself up from the deck of the Behemoth however. "NOOOO! Damn you Sanky Panky Pirate Machete!" Blanca shook her fist at me from the deck and looked down at her hand. "I broke a nail because of you! Arrrgh!"

Without its mizzen the _Behemoth_ was unable to continue its pursuit. We began to make our escape to the horizon. Finally, I was leaving The Dominican Republic far behind me. " _Adiós_ ...The Dominican Republic... _hasta nunca_ ...until never."

### Chapter 7: That isn't a hornpipe in me pocket, but I am happy to see ye!

That night, my first night aboard the _Wandering Wolf_ , I was having trouble sleeping. I still felt guilty about what I had done to Blanca and her image watching the _Wandering Wolf_ sail away was burned into my mind. She looked angry, but anger had quickly turned to...disappointment. I wondered why Blanca was after Captain Pride's treasure anyways...? I continued to toss and turn in bed, plagued by such thoughts, when I heard something.

Pretending to still be asleep I kept my eyes shut and heard the sound of soft footfalls and then the sound of someone rummaging through my belongings.

_It couldn't be? Could it?_ I turned over on my side and opened my eyes. Sure enough, my suspicions had been correct. It was Captain Blanca and she was looking through my belongings in search of Captain Pride's treasure map! I got out of bed and snuck up behind her-

"Blanca." I said softly, not wanting to wake the others.

She gasped and spun around. I could see the map clutched in her right hand. She opened her mouth and I suddenly remembered she was a siren, so lunged forward and covered her mouth with the palm of my hand. I pushed her back into the writing desk that was in the bedroom.

Blanca reached into her cleavage and I knew she was going for that one shot pistol of hers. I grabbed her wrist with my other free hand just as she got her mini flintlock pistol out and I pinned her hand above her head.

She had just tried to kill me – again.

I pressed my body into hers so that she couldn't move. "We really have to stop meeting like this, Captain Blanca." I said, sounding chagrinned. "You came all the way here for the map? Why do you need it so badly I wonder...? And how did you even get here for that matter? Can you fly, little bird?"

Blanca just glared back at me, her eyes blazing with hate.

I moved my thigh in between her legs to press my body even more firmly against hers. Blanca blushed in response – it was hard for her to hide her physical reactions to me due to her pale skin. She began to squirm against me, and her breathing and heartbeat became irregular. I felt pleased. She wasn't the only one affected by our closeness. As I pressed my body against her and stared down at her, I think she could feel my arousal pressing against her.

She waited to see what I would do and suddenly went limp in my grasp as if she'd resigned herself to whatever I intended to do to her. That strange look of resignation...of giving up...made me feel like an asshole.

I was about to take my hand away from her mouth when Blanca accidentally knocked an oil lamp off the nearby table with her elbow and it shattered loudly as it hit the floor. This alerted Adolpho and the crew of Blanca's presence. Adolpho and the others (minus Santiago who could apparently sleep through anything) burst through the door of my room within seconds-

When Adolpho caught sight of Blanca and saw how she had a pistol in one hand and the map in the other, his expression turned murderous. "Captain Lust?! What's she doing here? How'd she even manage to get here? Shit...she came for the map didn't she? Are you alright, Machete? Don't uncover her mouth. She's dangerous. She's one of the Seven Deadly Pirates that rule the seas!"

Lust glared daggers at Adolpho and growled low in her throat.

"Captain Lust? One of the Seven Deadly Pirates?" I stared back at Lust in shock. This wily wench was just full of surprises.

"Lady Blanca...?" Moreno asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Good work subduing Captain Lust, Machete. Many men have fallen for her tricks and seductions. We'll need to keep her gagged and bound. Let's put her in the brig for now until we decide what to do with her..." A pleased smile formed on Adolpho's thin lips.

"Fine." I gruffly agreed.

Captain Adolpho then took out a strange looking leather mouth gag and a pair of handcuffs and approached Lust. I felt a protective urge surge through me and didn't step away from Lust right away. I didn't like that sinister gleam in Adolpho's eyes. Nor did I like how he had been carrying around such strange looking restraints to begin with. It was all way too suspicious and unsettling for my taste.

"Wait, is that really necessary?" I began.

Captain Adolpho sighed. "Machete, she's a siren. For all we know ye could already be under the effects of her hypnotic song. So we really can't trust you or listen to a single thing ye say right now. Moreno. Amano. Get Machete away from that Siren Witch while I restrain her. She's dangerous and she's our prisoner."

Moreno and Amano hesitated until Adolpho narrowed his eyes at them dangerously. Moreno and Amano gulped nervously and moved to pull me off of Lust. The nerve of those punks! "Hey! _Oi!_ What do you punks think you're doing?"

"Sorry about this Machete but Adolpho's right. You could already be under her spell..." Moreno said apologetically.

"She's a siren." Amano repeated as if trying to convince himself. "She can't be trusted."

"Fucking idiots!" I roared as I tried to get loose from the hold my friends had on my arms as they grabbed me. "I'm going to remember this! You guys are so dead!"

Adolpho approached the nervous looking Lust and before she could open her mouth to speak he had shoved the strange leather gag into her mouth and strapped it tightly behind her head. The perfect restraint for a siren, way too suspicious. Adolpho then roughly grabbed her hands, put them behind her back and handcuffed her wrists. His grip was so tight that she had automatically dropped her pistol in response and cringed in pain. Captain Adolpho removed Lust's sash belt so that her cutlass fell to the floor. He patted her body over to check for any other hidden weapons and I noticed that his hands lingered a little longer on her body than was necessary. I felt like punching the perverted geezer.

Adolpho nodded once he was finished. "Done. I'll take the Siren Witch down to the brig. Ye all can go back to bed. It's been a long day and we still have a long way to go before we reach _Sakura Jima_ , which is where we'll have to stop next in order to re-supply and rest before continuing on towards Siren Rock."

"Aye aye, Captain." Moreno and Amano obediently crowed and I felt like punching them too. I watched Adolpho leave with Lust and my friends didn't let go of my arms until they had left my room. _Shit._ "Fucking assholes..." I grit my teeth and began to crack my knuckles as I approached Moreno and Amano in a menacing manner. They quickly began to back away from me and instantly looked repentant.

"Hey now, wait. It was for your own good, _hermano_. Lust probably has you under a spell." Moreno was saying hastily, his hands up before him in a surrendering gesture.

"Idiots! She hasn't put me under any kind of spell! I don't even like her! But...I don't agree with treating her that way!" I shouted at them angrily. _If Adolpho makes her cry...I'm going to rip out his lungs and shove them up his ass._

"She tried to kill you and retrieve her copy of the map just now." Amano put in tentatively, tapping the tips of his index fingers together in a nervous gesture. "Can you really trust her?"

"No, but apparently I can't trust you guys either. You're supposed to be on _my_ side...not Adolpho's. Shit." I put my face in my hands. "Get the fuck out of my room. I'm so pissed at you guys right now. I don't want to see your sorry faces for a while. Or else I really might end up doing something I'll later regret."

"You see, he _is_ enchanted." Moreno whispered to Amano in a voice unfortunately I could clearly hear.

"Yea, you're right, he must be under some kind of spell. The Machete I know would never act all hot and bothered over some woman." Amano whispered back loudly.

"He's whipped! He's whipped! He's whipped!" Don Juan, my parrot declared.

"GET OUT!" I roared and chased my friends out the door, slamming the door behind them loudly so that it rocked on its hinges. _Jerks!_ I sat down on the edge of my bed and put my face in my hands. There was no way I could sleep...Moreno and Amano...were fools. Adolpho had been acting way too suspicious. How had he known Captain Lust's true identity? Who was Adolpho really? I realized then that I barely knew anything about Captain Adolpho except that he was a drunk, oh and a pervert, who was into threesomes apparently. Great, just great. I stood up. Santiago would believe me. Captain Adolpho was up to something...or hiding something. I was sure of it.

I snuck out of my room, avoiding Moreno and Amano, and feeling like a sneak thief on my own ship. I made my way to the Captain's quarters – Santiago's room. I crept inside and made my way to my brother's bed. My brother was fast asleep and snoring loudly, an open philosophy book lying across his chest. He must have fallen asleep while reading one of those damned philosophy books of his. I looked at the book cover, it read: _The Book of Secrets_ by OSHO. I shook my head, to each their own.

I grabbed his shoulder roughly and shook Santiago awake. "Bro, wake up!"

"Huh...wha?" Santiago woke and blindly reached out for his round spectacles that were folded on the bedside table next to him. He put his spectacles on and blinked back at me sleepily. "Machete...?" His look quickly turned to worry as he eyed my frazzled appearance. "What's wrong?"

I quickly told Santiago all about how Captain Lust had somehow snuck onboard and had tried to steal back the map and then how Adolpho had gagged her and taken Lust to the brig.

Santiago's eyes were wide. "You let Adolpho do that to Blanca?"

Damn, if I didn't feel guilty enough already I felt even more so now. "I didn't have much of a choice. Moreno and Amano were acting like idiots, and they even restrained me! I couldn't attack them because since they're so weak if I even grab and twist their arm I'll break it. Pathetic weaklings..." I explained.

"That is no way to treat a lady, Machete. Come on, let's go. I was named Captain of the _Wandering Wolf_ and what I say goes." Santiago declared grabbing his cutlass from where it had been sitting on top of his desk and heading for the brig.

I let out a breath of relief. It was a good feeling to have someone on your side. I hurried after my brother. We neared the brig and could hear Adolpho's voice. We paused to hide and listen in on what Adolpho was saying to Lust. We watched as Adolpho opened up a cell and pushed Lust unceremoniously inside. But instead of locking the cell door behind her he stepped inside of the cell with her...

"Captain Lust...fancy meeting ye here like this. I remember the last time we met quite vividly...ye called me a 'pig' if I recall correctly." Adolpho reached out and grabbed Lust by her chin, forcing her to look at him since she had had her head turned away. "I had generously offered ye quite a nice sum of gold for one night of pleasure and yet ye coldly refused me saying ye only sleep with men ye like and are attracted to. Ye went on to say that I wasn't yer type, that I was a foul pig with no sex appeal and that ye would never sleep with a disgusting, old man like me."

Lust looked back at Captain Adolpho, giving him a chilling look. I already felt like throttling the perverted old man but Santiago held me back.

"Then ye sang a song, hypnotizing me and me entire crew. Ye then stripped us naked, robbed us blind and wrote the word 'fool' on our foreheads in permanent ink. Oh, wait, that's right ye wrote the word 'pig' on me forehead didn't ye. I guess that means I'm special..." Adolpho declared as he breathed over Lust and she cringed as his foul breath washed over her. Lust tried to knee him in the groin but he just pressed his two-hundred-pound body against hers so that she couldn't move.

"I think it's time for a little payback, Captain Lust. With yer mouth gagged like this ye're just a helpless woman, and not a feared pirate captain. I can't have ye telling the others about me past and true identity. Ye'll be needing to keep that mouth of yers shut. I'll give ye a taste of what will happen to ye if ye decide to tell the others about me..." Captain Adolpho licked his lips and leered at Lust. He reached out and fondled a strand of her golden hair between his fingers in a sickening way.

"Ah, I've been waiting for this day eagerly Captain Lust. The day ye fell into my hands like this. I'm going to make ye eat those words ye told me...ye're going to get fucked by this 'pig' and ye're going to like it." Adolpho declared before he began unbuttoning Lust's jacket with his one hand. His face was red with lust and drool was dripping down his chin disgustingly. He was beginning to pant like a dog in heat.

Lust's eyes widened in revulsion and she began to struggle against him. Adolpho backhanded her swiftly across the face and she fell to the floor of the cell. He reached down, ripped the front of her jacket open impatiently and began to slide her short, white dress further up her legs.

I couldn't bear to watch any more of this. My blood was boiling in my veins. I felt hot. I was extremely pissed. "Adolpho! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I stalked towards him, a murderous aura forming around me. Santiago had been unable to keep his grip on my shoulder any longer.

Adolpho turned to look at me in surprise with a guilty look on his face. Uh oh. It clearly read. "Machete? This...isn't what it looks like...I was just interrogating the prisoner. I was just scaring her a little, that's all. I wasn't actually going to _do_ anything to her..." Adolpho hastily explained as he stood up straight to face me.

"Get the hell away from her!" I yelled as I punched Adolpho hard across the face using all my strength. He went flying sideways and into the cell bars, which were bent from the impact. "IT'S BECAUSE OF MEN LIKE YOU THAT MY MOTHER CRIES HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT!" I roared.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down before I turned to look down at Lust. She was looking up at me with a startled expression on her face. I held my hand out to her. Lust hesitated before putting her hand in mine and allowing me to help her up. I pulled her towards me and began to unbuckle the leather gag that was around her head.

"Machete...do you really think that's such a good idea? She could hypnotize us all with her song." Santiago began, pushing his spectacles up his nose.

I looked back at Lust. "She won't. I trust her." I took her gag off and tossed it aside. I spun Lust around and using my bare hands broke the metal handcuffs that were around her wrists, shattering them to pieces.

Lust rubbed her wrists gingerly that were slightly red and gave me an impressed look. "I think he had the key." She informed me in a bemused tone.

"Ughhh...." Adolpho was staggering to his feet.

Lust gave me a searching look before she looked away from me with a strained expression on her face. "...Thank you. No one has ever saved me before."

I blinked at her. "What?"

Lust shook her head before turning to look at me again. "No, it's nothing."

"Blanca, err, Captain Lust, what is it about Captain Adolpho's past that you know that he doesn't want you to tell us." Santiago asked smartly.

"Captain Adolpho's true identity is Captain Sloth. He's one of the Seven Deadly Pirates too." Lust informed us.

"Captain Sloth?" Santiago turned his attention to Captain Adolpho/Sloth. "Why did you want to keep this a secret, Captain?"

"Bugger..." Sloth swore. "I don't have the greatest reputation, ye see."

"Reputation?" Santiago raised an eyebrow at him. "Feel free to enlighten us Captain."

"Ye might as well tell them, wench, because I won't!" Sloth growled at Lust.

"Captain Sloth is well known for having gone berserk and murdering his entire crew." Lust informed us as she began to button her jacket back up, a few of the buttons were missing.

I looked at Captain Sloth in shock. His entire crew? Santiago looked equally shocked but then he appeared to have realized something. "Now it makes sense that you would vow to never sail again."

"But why did you kill them?" I blurted out.

Captain Sloth put his face in his hands. "Because...I'm a monster. I'm a werewolf...on the nights of the full moon I turn into a beast with no self-awareness and I kill senselessly."

"You're a werewolf!" Santiago exclaimed loudly, "I've read about them. Werewolves can create other werewolves by merely biting other people and leaving them alive. Once in their werewolf form werewolves have no sense of self and become mere beasts that kill indiscriminately. Sloth, you intended to sail with us without telling us that? And what did you intend to do during the nights of the full moon anyways? Kill us all?!" He demanded.

"No!" Sloth gave us a frantic look. "I...have a potion that stops the transformation. I also planned on trying to reach the Lost Island before the full moon..." Sloth explained. "Which is why I decided on the more dangerous but fastest route for us to take."

"That explains that." I put in.

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "I see. Well, there doesn't seem to be a problem then. Now that we know the truth we'll just have to take the proper precautions against your...condition."

Sloth gave Santiago a wide-eyed look. "Ye're still willing to sail with me?"

"Yes, as long as you never pull a stunt like you did with Blanca again. A gentleman never tries to force a lady." Santiago turned to Lust. "As for Captain Lust. She'll remain in the brig as our prisoner until we reach the next island where we can drop her off."

"The brig? But Santiago-" I began to object.

"Without her gag and handcuffs she's no longer helpless. But I still don't trust her, Machete. She did try to kill you and she tried to steal back the map, so I can't just let her roam around on the _Wandering Wolf_ freely. I'll have the only key into her cell on my person. So there shouldn't be any further problems. She'll be safe." Santiago turned to Sloth and in one fluid motion pointed his cutlass at him. "If you try to rape her again...I'll cut your balls off and feed them to the sharks. Is that clear?"

Sloth swallowed thickly and nodded. "Crystal clear, Captain Santiago."

I gave my brother an admiring glance. He had been really cool just then. But I still didn't like the idea of Lust being locked up in a cell.

"But bro..." I stubbornly began again.

Santiago turned to look at me quizzically, "Don't tell me you're in love with Captain Lust, Machete?"

I looked at Lust and she stared back at me curiously. I turned my head away shyly. "Hell no..."

"Then it's settled." Santiago declared as he locked Lust inside of the cell. "I'm sorry about this Captain Lust but...these are merely necessary precautions. My brother seems to trust you for some reason so I won't have you gagged again. I hope his trust has not been misplaced." He gave her a poignant look.

Lust nodded and gave Santiago a grateful look. "Thank you, Captain Santiago. You're a true gentleman. And I'm sorry...about fooling you before. I truly never meant to hurt you."

Santiago nodded. "It's alright, all water under the bridge now, though I can't say I wasn't disappointed that my engagement to a beautiful, merchant's daughter was nothing but a pipedream. Goodnight, lady. Sloth, Machete, let's go."

"Aye aye, Captain." Sloth and I chimed.

I realized then that my brother was coming into his role as Captain smoothly. Sloth seemed pleased about something, if the strange grin on his face was anything to go by, which pissed me off.

"What are you grinning about, perverted old man? If I see you anywhere near Lust again...I'll follow through on my brother's threat." I glared at him fiercely.

Sloth frowned. "I was just thinking Santiago fits the role of Captain nicely. And don't worry, lad, I won't try to touch Lust again. I didn't realize ye cared so deeply for her. That punch hurt..." Sloth rubbed his aching jaw.

"I don't care about her." I quickly denied.

"Riiight." Sloth didn't sound too convinced. "Goodnight lad, sweet dreams...about Lust probably." He chuckled knowingly.

"Shut up, you perverted old man! _Hijo de puta!_ " I yelled after him.

" _Sueño húmedo!_ Wet dream! Wet dream! Wet dream!" My parrot Don Juan chanted.

***

I woke up early the next morning, got out of bed sleepily and staggered over to fill a basin with water. I splashed water over my face and washed my hands. I looked at my reflection in the mirror that was hanging above the wash table. My long, wavy, black hair was a complete mess. My brother Santiago had hacked it in places during our duel and now my haircut was uneven. Long hair didn't really go well with a goatee either I decided. I was a pirate now...setting sail on a quest. I decided it was about time I looked the part.

I took out a pair of scissors and began to cut my hair myself. When I had finished I decided my new shorter haircut looked good. I trimmed my goatee next. I splashed my face with water again and ran my damp hands through my short hair and looked at my changed appearance.

I no longer looked like a Sanky Panky...or rather _just_ a Sanky Panky...I now looked more like a Sanky Panky Pirate. I looked tougher, which was probably a good thing since being a pirate was an incredibly hazardous profession, which made a lot of enemies, and which entailed a lot of fighting be it against the Sea Forces or other pirates.

I made my way down to the mess hall early after that and spotted Santiago, Sloth with Dulce and Corazón in his lap, Amano and Moreno seated at a long wooden table. Santiago was dressed in an orange, high-collared, monk's uniform but I was too tired to make a smartass comment. I plopped down with the gang, putting my feet up on the table in front of me, and gave them an expectant look. "Where's the grub? I'm starved!"

"Machete...you cut your hair!" Amano exclaimed as soon as he caught sight of me and pouted.

"Aye." I said.

Moreno gave me a sympathetic look. "There is no breakfast...these guys say they can't cook."

"Huh? What?" I gawked at them and turned to Santiago. "Santiago, you're smart right? You have to know how to cook!"

Santiago gave me an exasperated look. "Of course I know how to cook but...I'm a vegetarian and someone forgot to buy vegetables for this trip. All we have is meat. I wonder what idiot decided to buy nothing but meat, Machete?" He gave me a knowing look.

I gulped, but then exploded. "You're a vegetarian?! Since when? Are you insane? Why would you want to be a vegetarian?!"

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "Animals have souls too, Machete. According to this book I was reading about metaphysical philosophy our existences are similar to specks of light or energy which all originated from one large original energy source a.k.a God. Animals are the same as us. They too came from the same original energy source."

I gawked at my brother in disbelief. "But...meat is damned good! And...are you saying that following one's instincts is a bad thing? I mean, look at nature...like, uh, lions for example. They go and hunt and kill animals, let's say a zebra, and they bring that zebra back to the pride. Are you saying that those animals are wrong to follow their instincts? We're just animals too, and we have pointed incisors for ripping and tearing flesh. We were designed to kill and eat animals. And if there is a God...if he wanted us to be vegetarians then why did he make our teeth like this? Or give us the instinct to kill and eat animals? That wouldn't make any sense. So doesn't this mean that you're actually going against God's will?"

Santiago shook his head and pushed his spectacles up his nose. "Fool...you just don't have any restraint. A barbarian like you could never be a vegetarian."

"What was that?!" I slammed my hands down on the table and growled at my brother. I wanted to fight him but...I collapsed back down into my chair. "Ugh, I have no energy. I've burnt up all my calories...I need meattttt...MEEAATTT!" I moaned loudly.

Santiago gave me a disgusted look. "I'm this ship's captain and this ship's bookkeeper and for the time being its navigator as well. I shouldn't have to know how to cook. We should try and find a Boatswain or cook at the next island we stop at."

"We also need an official Navigator." Sloth began. "These seas can get mighty treacherous. We also need a Master Gunner since none of us have any idea about firing a cannon."

"I think the most important crewmember we're lacking is the cook." I said loudly. "I can't fight on an empty stomach...I need meat..." I moaned and let my forehead thud against the tabletop. "Can't Dulce and Corazón cook us something...?" I suggested looking hopeful. They were girls, right? And girls were supposed to be domestic creatures.

Sloth also looked hopeful and turned to his ladies. "Ducle? Corazón? ¿Señoras saben cómo cocinar? Do you know how to cook?"

But the two _dominican_ whores just shook their pretty little heads and held up their hands to show off their long, fake nails. " _Es imposible, Señor. Vamos a quebrar una uña!_ It's impossible sir, we'll break a nail!"

"The señoritas say it's impossible to cook because of their long nails." Sloth informed us with a shrug. "It was worth a try."

"HUH?" I gapped at the whores and stared at their plastic nails that had little painted images on them. "You've got to be kidding me! If those nails are standing in the way of me and food I say we rip those damned things off. They're freaky anyways!"

The _dominican_ girls look frightened by this prospect and hugged Sloth tightly. " _Ayúdanos señor!_ Help us sir! _Por favor no dejes que él hacerlo!_ Please don't let him do it!"

I would have felt sorry for them but I was too damned hungry.

Moreno was frowning as he looked at the nails. "Dude, I still don't think plastic nails existed back in the seventeenth century..."

Sloth stroked their heads reassuringly and gave me an angry look. "Machete, those nails cost me three pieces-of-eight, so they could get those things done. They're not coming off."

"Three pieces-of-eight!" I shouted, "That could have bought us at least three steak and lobster dinners! Women are crazy, unfathomable creatures. I don't get them at all. Why would they spend all that money on _nails_?!"

"It's so that they'll appear 'attractive' to men. It also helps them to feel attractive and good about themselves but also gives them self confidence." Amano informed me helpfully.

"Attractive?" I scoffed as I eyed Dulce and Corazón and their killer nails. _Useless wenches!_ "Those nails just make them look creepy!"

Dulce and Corazón burst into tears at my harsh comment.

_Oops._ I immediately regretted what I had just said and felt like an asshole. I scratched my head awkwardly. "Aw geez, I'm sorry _chicas_ ...I didn't mean it...your nails actually look...nice..." I said through gritted teeth.

The girls looked at me skeptically before they continued to cry. "You don't mean that! _Whaaa~!_ "

" _Es un demonio sin corazón!_ You're a heartless demon!" Corazón rambled on passionately in Spanish.

Sloth patted their heads and tried to calm them down. "Shhhh, _mis bonitas señoritas_ ..." He began to fondle their breasts and stroke their thighs. The girls began to squirm and giggle at his perverted touches.

"Ay! _Señor!_ _No frente de los demás!_ Sir, not in front of the others!" They objected.

Moreno began to gouge the table in front of him with a fork in a sour manner. "Lucky bastard...money can totally buy love. I'm so unloved on the other hand only because I'm dirt poor. Why is this world so unfair?" He moaned.

"I can show you a little love." Amano offered with a wink.

Moreno scooted his chair farther away from Amano. "No thanks, I only like _linda señoritas_ , Amano, _S-E-Ñ-O-R-I-T-A-S!_ " He spelled out.

Amano pouted. "You're no fun."

Santiago opened up a philosophy book by Krishnamurti titled _Freedom from the Known_ and began to read. There was no hope there. Santiago was too busy trying to find Enlightenment. I turned to look at Moreno and Amano expectantly. "Surely, you guys have to know how to cook?"

Moreno shook his head sadly. "I usually steal pre-cooked food." He shrugged.

"Amano...you're domestic, like a girl, surely..." I trailed off thoughtfully.

"I always get taken out to restaurants by my clients so never cook either." Amano confided to us shyly as he tapped the tips of his index fingers together.

"Shit." I stood up from the table and pushed my sleeves back. "There's no helping it, I guess. I'll cook!" I declared. "How hard can it be? It's just cooking!"

" _Just_ , he says, I'm worried already." Moreno said.

I threw some steaks into a skillet and stoked the flames to the max. I needed meat. I didn't really know anything about cooking but I decided to add some wine and emptied out about half a bottle on top of the steaks. They immediately caught on fire and the steaks were cooked rather quickly as a result. I was a genius.

I found out cooking was a bit dangerous though. Plates just seemed to throw themselves off the shelves, things caught on fire at random, and oil just flew out of the skillet at you at odd times. Knives would also cut you for no good reason. Cooking took guts to be sure.

They smelled okay, I decided, as I leaned over the skillet to take a whiff once I decided the steaks were done. _I'm sure they're perfect._

I served the well-done steaks to everyone and we sat down to eat. The crew then proceeded to cut a piece of their steak, which was hard since I had apparently burnt them to a crisp. Although I like the phrase 'slightly charred' better. But hunger makes a man desperate and we managed to cut our steaks and all took a bite at the same time-

"Blargghhhh!" Everyone simultaneously spit the pieces of steaks they had put into their mouths out at the same time. I watched with no little satisfaction as Moreno spit out a piece of steak that hit Sloth right smack in the center of his forehead causing him to fall backwards and out of his chair. No one moved to help the old man up. My steak was multipurpose cooking – for eating or to be used as a deadly weapon. I smirked, feeling proud of myself.

I began to chew my piece of charred-to-a-crisp meat and glared at the rest of the crew. "What's wrong, you punks? My cooking is great if you ask me! Ungrateful jerks. I didn't know you had such refined taste that you can't handle humble _dominican_ cooking."

Santiago pushed his plate away from him and sighed, rubbing his temples. "Do you think Lust knows how to cook?"

I looked up and tried to speak, which was hard since I was still working on chewing my burnt meat, a slow process to be sure. "Bro...key!" I declared as I stood up.

Santiago obligingly tossed me the cell key without looking up from his book. I caught the key easily in my right hand.

Lust was seated calmly on the small wooden bench in the cell, filing her nails and looking like a kidnapped princess rather than a captured pirate captain as I came barging in. Lust didn't look up from filing her nails as I approached her cell. "What do you want, Sanky Panky Pirate?"

I stopped outside of the cell and stared at her. Was she mad at me for some reason? "Captain Santiago has a task for you to perform." I informed her.

Lust looked up then, "Oh?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "What does Captain Santiago want me to do for him?"

"Cook." I informed her simply and gave her a hopeful look. My stomach took that moment to growl loudly too. I blushed.

Lust just blinked back at me and looked at me as if I was crazy or had grown a second head. "HUH? Cook? Me? I'm a pirate captain...I _don't_ cook." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "Hmph!"

A sly look crossed my face. "Oh, so you _don't_ cook?" But she hadn't said that she _couldn't_ cook. "Well, too bad, wench. The Captain's orders are absolute. You're going to cook me a steak dinner and that's final!" I unlocked Lust's cell door and reached out to grab her arm.

Lust gave me an incredulous look. "You can't be serious. You want me – Captain Lust – to cook for this motley crew of misfits?!"

"That's right, princess, let's go. Move your ass. I'm starved!" I dragged Lust along with me, up the ladder to the second level of the ship, through the mess hall (everyone followed us with wide eyes) and to the galley.

Lust struggled in my grasp. "Of all the nerve! How dare you treat me this way?!"

I shoved Lust into the galley and slammed the door shut behind her. "Get cooking wench! Chop chop!" I yelled loudly through the door at her. What can I say? I get grumpy when I'm hungry.

I sat down at the table with the others and we waited. A few minutes had passed when we began to hear the sounds of cooking coming from the galley – the familiar sizzling sound of oil in a pan and the chopping of vegetables. Though I don't know where she had managed to find those. I stuck a cloth napkin under my chin and picked up my fork and knife. A silly grin formed on my face. I was going to get to try Lust's 'home cooking'. It had to be good.

Thirty minutes later...

Lust came out of the galley wearing a frilly white apron that I didn't even know we had onboard and began setting plates of food down in front of us. From the looks of it she had made some kind of beef and vegetable stir-fry in a brown soy sauce. It smelled delicious.

"I hope the food is to your liking, Captain Santiago." Lust said to my brother as she set the plate down in front of him.

Santiago gave Lust a warm smile. "I'm sure it will be."

" _Bon appétit!_ " I declared loudly as I cut a piece of beef and stuffed it into my mouth-

Everyone else did the same and Lust watched us with a hopeful look on her face.

"Blarghhhh!" Everyone simultaneously spit out the beef, which was completely undercooked and still RAW.

However, I noticed Lust watching me carefully and so was forced to chew and sbulkheadow my piece of meat. It was disgusting. My face had turned green and tears had formed in my eyes.

"How is it?" Lust gave me an innocent look.

"It's...delicious." I lied through my teeth. "Mmmm." I said as I put another piece of meat into my mouth and chewed. I was going to throw up...

Santiago discreetly spit his beef into a napkin. Moreno began to choke and stole Sloth's bottle of rum, which he began to chug while Amano patted his back. Dulce and Corazón passed out, and Sloth spit the steak out angrily onto his plate.

"Utterly disgusting." Sloth said putting his napkin to his mouth and giving Lust an accusing look. "That was hardly fit for human consumption, Lust. If I didn't know any better I'd say ye did it on purpose. Or perhaps the food tastes so bad because it was poisoned." Sloth suggested and with a sweep of his hand he had thrown the plates of food onto the deck where they shattered.

Lust glared heatedly back at Sloth. "How dare you! I did not poison the food!"

"Then prove it, wench, eat it!" Sloth growled.

"Fine!" Lust declared as she stood next to me and leaned over to cut a piece of my beef. She jabbed a fork angrily into the piece of beef and was about to stick it into her mouth. I wanted to stop her.

"Er, Lust, I don't think that's such a good id-" I was saying.

Chomp. Lust chewed slowly and her eyes began to water. She sbulkheadowed the piece of steak with difficultly and I watched as she put a hand in front of her mouth as she gagged slightly and began to turn green. "That was dreadful...my cooking really is horrible..." Lust sunk to her knees in despair - much to everyone's surprise that Captain Lust was sensitive about her cooking skills. Or about anything for that matter.

"Lust...?" I gave her a worried look. Sloth looked smug.

"I already knew that I couldn't cook. For some reason I always undercook everything. I suppose it's because I lack patience." Lust admitted in a soft voice. She looked up and gave Santiago a teary-eyed look. "I'm sorry Captain Santiago...I failed you..."

I felt like wrapping my arms around Lust and giving her a hug. I resisted this urge of course.

Santiago closed his philosophy book with his one hand. "No, it's my fault for ordering you to do something you didn't know how to do. I'm the one who's sorry. But this is a dilemma. We really need a cook..." Santiago stroked his chin in a pensive manner.

Sloth was giving Lust an incredulous look. "Captain Lust I never knew ye were such a good actress! One would almost think those tears of yers were real!" He sneered.

Lust glared at Sloth. "Shut up, perverted pig!"

"What did ye just call me?" Sloth's eyes narrowed to slits and I thought that I saw them glow golden for a moment. I rubbed at my eyes; it must have been a trick of the light.

"I think she called you a perverted pig." I drawled, putting my hand casually on the hilt of my machete.

Sloth turned to glare at me next. "Lad...ye've fallen completely under her spell."

"And you haven't?" I challenged. "You just want what you can't have, Sloth. Stop being a sore loser. Lust is _way_ out of your league."

"It's not wise to anger me, Machete." Sloth warned, the hairs on his bushy beard beginning to bristle.

"I never said I was smart, pig." I said in a snarky manner.

Uh oh.

Amano was looking back and forth between Sloth and I worriedly while wringing his hands together. "Oh dear...oh my..."

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Moreno cheered loudly while punching the air with his fist and trying to egg us on.

"Epp!" Dulce and Corazón squeaked and hid under the dining table fearfully.

"Enough. Stop this nonsense at once." Santiago said in a low, commanding voice. "Both of you...we're all hungry. We'll just head to the closest island and grab a bite to eat at a tavern and then be on our way. What do you say, gentlemen?"

"Aye aye, Captain!" We all agreed.

"Hey...what's that smell?" Lust asked aloud, suddenly sniffing the air.

I frowned. "I don't smell anything...and if you're smelling something weird I swear it wasn't me."

"Who smelt it, dealt it." Moreno chimed.

Lust gave us a disgusted look. "No you fools...I smell food."

"I smell it as well and it smells rather...delicious." Sloth agreed, licking his fangs.

"Let's go check it out. All hands on deck!" Lust ordered as she took off for the upper deck.

" _Oi!_ " I called after her, "We're not your crew, remember?"

"Oh, yea, right, I forgot. Sorry." Lust declared smiling unconcernedly as she rushed over to the starboard railing and peered over the side while still continuing to sniff the air.

I went to stand at the railing next to her and peered out over the starboard side of the ship. My eyes widened as I caught sight of a ship. A very interesting looking ship.

It was an impressive three-masted galleon. It was much larger than the _Wandering Wolf_ and even the _Behemoth_. It had no visible cannon on the main or upper decks but I could see that there were several cannon ports on the broadside of the ship. The figurehead that was attached to the bowsprit was of a sexy mermaid. _Well, at least the captain has good taste._ I thought lamenting the fact that the _Wandering Wolf_ 's figurehead was a snarling white wolf that appeared as if it was about to pounce off our ship. The galleon was flying a strange looking Jolly Roger with a smiling skull and a crossed fork and knife behind it on a black background. "What the...? What kind of a Jolly Roger is that?"

Santiago came to stand next to me and took out his bronze telescope. He peered at the ship's deck. "It's a restaurant." Santiago informed us.

I was sure, however, that my brother had lost his marbles. "Give me that!" I yanked the telescope out of my brother's hand and looked at the ship's deck next. "You're obviously so hungry that you're beginning to see mirages." But there on the main deck – were a series of round tables covered with white tablecloths. I also saw people dinning at the tables and being served by waiters that looked more like pirates than waiters with their striped shirts, capris, boots with cuffs, and cutlasses that were strapped to their waists. _What the hell is going on?_ "You were right, bro." I said in awe.

Lust grabbed the telescope out of my hand next and peered at the floating restaurant. "Yep, I say we go over there and order the lobster."

Sloth swaggered up next to us. "Ye forget yer place, wench. Ye're our prisoner not our guest. Ye'll be dining in the brig."

Lust turned to glare at Sloth heatedly. "Like hell I will!"

The two glared fiercely at each other and lightning seemed to pass between their gazes.

"Captain?" I asked my bro.

"Lust would probably be safer here. We know nothing about this floating restaurant. We'll go over there first to check it out. If it's safe Lust can come over later. Or we can easily bring the women some food afterwards." Santiago decided adjusting his spectacles with his one hand.

Sloth chuckled in amusement. "No need to be so cautious Captain Santiago. That ship is the _Davey Jones' Hunger_. It's Captain Gluttony's ship. He runs that restaurant exclusively for pirates. Captain Santiago we should probably hoist our own Jolly Roger if we want to be welcomed by Captain Gluttony and his crew warmly."

Santiago frowned but nodded before giving the command. "Hoist the Jolly Roger!"

"Aye aye, Captain!" Moreno and Amano began to raise our flag, which was of a pouncing wolf skeleton on a black background.

"The _Davey Jones' Hunger_ ..." Santiago used his two hands to slick his hair back to perfection. "A floating pirate restaurant...how interesting. I want Amano, Moreno, Lust, Dulce and Corazón to stay here and watch the _Wandering Wolf_. Machete and Sloth will come with me to the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ to investigate."

"That sounds like a wise decision, Captain." Sloth nodded with a sly grin on his face.

"Prepare the longboat for our departure! Once we're inside - lower the longboat, men, err, and women!" Santiago directed the crew. Once Santiago, Sloth and I were seated inside the boat the rest of the crew began to lower us down to the water.

"Moreno! Take care of the women. I know I can count on you. If they need anything you're their man!" Santiago called up to Moreno.

Moreno gave my brother a salute. "Aye aye, Sir! Just leave it to me!" Moreno turned around and bowed with a flourish towards Dulce, Corazón and Lust. " _Señoritas_ , ladies. _Yo soy tu siervo humilde._ I am your humble servant. Your wishes are but my command."

Moreno turned and gawked when he caught sight of Amano who was currently helping to sew some new buttons onto the front of Lust's jacket. Amano used his teeth to cut the thread on the last button he had sewn and then put his mini sewing kit away again.

Lust was giving Amano a surprised but grateful look. "Thank you, Amano. You're pretty useful aren't you?" She complimented. Amano blushed.

Moreno nearly fell over and went over to shove Amano aside. He jabbed his chest with his thumb. "I can be pretty useful too, Lady Lust. Just let me know how I can be of service?" He waggled his brows at her.

Lust sighed and rolled her eyes at him before beginning to walk away. "I'm going to take a nap in the brig. Wake me up when the grub arrives."

"We're going to go and straighten our hair." Dulce and Corazón declared as they left Moreno quickly behind.

Moreno watched as a dry, lonesome tumbleweed rolled by in front of him along the abandoned deck. He looked around and sniffed under his armpits wondering if he forgot to put some cologne.

Amano took out a pack of cards and gave Moreno a sheepish look. "Want to play Go Fish?"

Moreno sat down on the deck cross-legged and pouted. "Ah, what the hell. Deal."

Amano smiled and sat down cross-legged in front of Moreno and began to shuffle the cards expertly making bridges.

Meanwhile, Santiago, Sloth and I rowed towards the _Davey Jones' Hunger_. A rope ladder was lowered for us and we began to climb onboard. The Pirate-Waiters greeted us warmly as fellow pirates because of our Jolly Roger.

"Ahoy! And welcome aboard the _Davey Jones' Hunger_! I am Hades and I will be yer server. Come this way please." Hades said before leading us over to one of the free tables. The Pirate-Waiter then handed us menus and was about to leave when-

Sloth reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hold up, there laddie. I want to talk to yer Captain, the Head Chef. Tell him that his old friend Captain Sloth is here."

Hades' eyes widened at the mention of the title 'Captain Sloth'. "Aye aye, Sir! Right away, Sir!" The Pirate-Waiter ran off quickly.

I opened the menu and flipped to the meat section. I began to scan the available entrées and my mouth began to water with relish: veal scaloppini, filet mignon, etc. "Now we're talking." I licked my lips and rubbed my hands together expectantly. I planned to order one of each meat entrée...double portions.

Santiago was calmly reading the menu as well though seemed to be having a hard time finding a vegetarian dish.

A moment later the waiter arrived with an absolutely enormous, heavyset man in tow. The man must have been three-hundred-pounds at least, and almost seven feet tall, but most of his mass appeared to be muscle. He had harsh, square features, tan skin, sharp golden eyes, shoulder-length black hair, and a large black beard that forked in the middle and curled out to the sides. He also had a curling mustache. He was wearing a long, black pirate's coat, but over this he was wearing a white apron. The pirate captain even had a chef's hat upon his head. He appeared to be somewhere in his late sixties.

Captain Gluttony spotted Sloth and his eyes lit up with recognition. "Blimey! Captain Sloth!" He stomped over to us and the entire deck seemed to vibrate.

Sloth stood up from his seat at the table and moved to greet the pirate captain. "Captain Gluttony, me heartie!"

The two pirate captains thumped each other amiably on the back.

Gluttony pulled back to grin at Sloth revealing massive, square shaped teeth. "It's been a long time, me heartie. I heard ye took a vow to never sail the Seven Seas again. I was very sorry to hear that. We thought we'd have to look for a new Sloth."

Sloth nodded solemnly. "Mmmm, ye heard correctly, but these youngsters need looking after, so I'm on a quest it seems."

"A quest be it? How grand! What brings ye to _Davey Jones' Hunger_ \- the only pirate restaurant in the Seven Seas?" Gluttony asked.

"Our fierce appetites! We had to leave The Dominican Republic in a hurry and didn't have the chance to form a proper crew. We still need a Cook, Navigator and a Master Gunner."

"That's a shame." Gluttony gave Sloth a sympathetic look. "Perhaps, I'll lend ye one of mine, though there's one chef I absolutely will not part with. I got a hold of him just recently, ye see, and his culinary skills are second to none. They're to die for." Gluttony chuckled darkly.

"Oh?" Sloth gave Gluttony an interested look. "A new apprentice chef? We'd like to try his cooking. Is there any dish we should keep from ordering, me heartie?" Sloth gave Gluttony a poignant look.

Gluttony chuckled, a strange gleam in his eye. "Just stay away from the meat pies and ye'll be fine, old friend. Now...I need to get back to the galley."

Sloth nodded obligingly. "Of course."

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "Interesting..." He leaned over to whisper in my ear. "I'd order the fish if I were you, Machete."

"What?" I hissed back. "I want meat." I complained with a groan.

Santiago gave me a hard stare that brooked no argument. I sighed. My brother was one of those people who always ended up being right and got to say 'I told you so', so I figured I'd better listen to him. "Fine..." _Meat...my meat...!_ I inwardly groaned.

Hades, the Pirate-Waiter, came to take our orders. "Have ye decided, gentlemen?"

"I'll have the mixed _sushi_ platter." Santiago said closing his menu.

"Me too..." I said in a droning tone.

"I'll have a tuna steak – medium rare. Oh, and bring a bottle of rum!" Sloth said licking his lips and rubbing his hands together excitedly.

Hades bowed. "Right away, Sir."

The Pirate-Waiter left to place our orders in the galley. Our food came out of the galley about twenty minutes later. Hades had three plates balanced on his arms as he approached our table. He expertly set the mixed _sushi_ platters in front of Santiago and myself before setting a plate with a tuna steak and mixed vegetables on it before Sloth.

I eyed the raw fish on my plate skeptically. I had never been a big fan of _sushi_ , or raw fish for that matter. Or anything that wasn't meat really. I picked up the chopsticks that the waiter had given me and tried to make them move so that I could pick up a piece of _sushi_. Let me tell you something about chopsticks, way too much fucking trouble. I watched enviously as my brother expertly used his chopsticks to pick up a piece of _sushi_ and plop it into his mouth. He grinned at me and chewed slowly making ' _Mmm'_ noises just to show off. _Damned monk._ I began to drool, God I was so hungry.

I quickly lost my patience and using one chopstick stabbed a piece of _sushi_ viciously with it. I stuck the piece of _sushi_ in my mouth and chewed warily. But as soon as I began to chew the food's flavor was released into my mouth and I quickly became a believer. My eyes widened dramatically and I sbulkheadowed.

" _Delicioso_ ," I breathed in a mixture of awe and astonishment. "Delicious! _Exquisito_!" I stabbed another three pieces of _sushi_ with my chopstick all at once and shoved the _sushi_ into my mouth.

Santiago shook his head at my outrageous table manners and way of using chopsticks. "Yes, it is quite good."

"This tuna steak is superb." Sloth put in, cutting a big piece of tuna and stuffing his mouth.

"To make raw fish taste this good...the chef must be a genius! I want him to be the cook for the _Wandering Wolf_." I declared.

Santiago raised an eyebrow at me. "You heard what Gluttony said – he didn't want to part with this chef in particular."

"Screw that!" I said standing up. "I'll just go talk to this chef myself and convince him to join our crew!"

"Machete, you can't just go and-" Santiago was saying but I had already gotten up from the table, and sauntered off towards the galley with purposeful steps. "Ah, there he goes to start trouble again. Why do I even bother?" Santiago said as he began to rub his temples. Santiago was about to get up from the table to pursue me but Sloth put a hand on his arm stopping him.

Sloth shook his head at Santiago. "Don't bother going after him. There's no stopping him when he gets an idea in his head."

Santiago sat back down in his seat and sighed. "Tell me about it."

I barged through the swinging doors that led to the galley and searched for any sign of the chef who had prepared our food. The galley was impressive with several stoves and cooking stations. It was also immaculate. The galley was buzzing with activity as the pirate chefs prepared their numerous orders. I looked at their outfits again curiously, and noticed that they wore pirate garb combined with a white apron and chef's hat.

And then I spotted him. The man, who _had_ to be the miracle chef/ _sushi_ guru that had prepared my mixed _sushi_ platter. For a moment I thought the young man looked familiar. There was something about his face that gave me an odd sense of déjà vu. He reminded me of The Samurai, I realized, but he was much younger. And I was beginning to feel racist since people like me thought all Asian people looked alike. I shook my head and focused on the serious looking young man in front of me.

He had stern features and I noted there was no smile on his thin lips. He had fierce, slanted eyes and was wearing a long, white apron over his outfit. There was an unusual scar that ran across the bridge of his nose. The _sushi_ chef was dressed all in black with a _haori_ wrap shirt, _hakama_ pants, _zori_ sandals on his feet, and had a _katana_ ( _samurai_ sword) strapped to his waist. His hair had been styled into a traditional _samurai_ topknot making him appear old-fashioned and uptight.

The _sushi_ chef would have been an intimidating figure if not for one thing-

There was a baby girl dressed in _pink_ clinging to his back like a monkey. Her head was peeking over the _sushi_ chef's shoulder in such a way that I could see her wide, ruby-colored eyes staring at me. The baby had a cherubic face with short, curly black hair and slightly pointed ears. I raised my eyebrow at her unusual features and wondered what the _samurai_ was doing with a baby of all things. Was that baby girl his child? I wondered. But then where was the mother?

Okay...a man with a baby latched onto his back. I'd seen far worse, and far weirder things in my life, growing up in a place like the Dominican Republic, so I decided to just ignore the baby girl for now.

The _sushi_ chef was chopping vegetables and slicing fish with a miniature _katana_ at a rapid speed that couldn't be considered human.

"Whoa." I breathed as I watched him. Suffice it to say I was impressed.

The _sushi_ chef was working on eight dishes at once and was finishing them simultaneously. He decorated the platters by creating roses out of radishes with a mere flick of his wrist. Once he had finished he rang a bell to signal that the dishes were ready. Eight Pirate-Waiters came to take the dishes away swiftly and take them out to the main deck.

"Whoo." I whistled and got the chef's attention. "That was impressive. You're definitely a master chef. My name is Machete." I stuck out my hand.

The _sushi_ chef just stared down at it as if it was covered in germs – which it probably was.

I faltered and put my hand down. However, I plunged on. "I just wanted to give my compliments to the chef. I really enjoyed your cooking. I wish we could have a cook as skilled as yourself onboard our ship the _Wandering Wolf_ ..." I trailed off dramatically, giving the _samurai_ an expectant look. "The _Wandering Wolf_ you ask? Yep, it's the very same famous ship that was once captained by none other than Captain Sloth. Although it has a new Captain now – my brother Santiago. It's the fastest ship in the Seven Seas. And lucky for you we're currently in the market for a cook." I pointed my finger at the _samurai_ dramatically. "I think we've found who we want. You're going to be the new cook of the _Wandering Wolf_!"

The stoic _sushi_ chef raised an eyebrow at me at my audacious declaration. "Sorry, you'll have to find someone else." The _sushi_ chef began to ignore me again and started chopping vegetables with that mini _katana_ of his at an incredible pace.

"Ah, so you _can_ talk," I smirked, "You remind me of this old, scarred _samurai_ I met a few years back. He was just about as talkative as you are. He was my _sensei_ for a short while. He taught me martial arts and swordsmanship. He really taught me how to wield my machete that's for sure. He had the strangest teaching methods though – he made me carry around these gigantic Buddha statues on my back for instance. Can you believe that?!" I began to recount my time with The Samurai conversationally hoping to pique the chef's interest.

The _sushi_ chef turned to stare at me. "Buddha statues? Did the _samurai_ tell you his name?" The _sushi_ chef questioned me intently as he leaned forward to hear my answer, however-

The baby girl that was latched onto his back suddenly opened her mouth and bit down hard on the top of the _sushi_ chef's head – hard enough that she drew blood.

"Ack! Rosie!" The _sushi_ chef reached up to pry the baby girl from his head. "What did I tell you about biting in public!" The _sushi_ chef complained as he continued to struggle to detach the baby girl from his head. His head was like a geyser of blood now and I was beginning to worry for our _sushi_ chef's life term expectancy...

My eyes widened as I continued to watch this strange display and I could have sworn that I could see that the baby had fangs or pointed teeth at the very least. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. I must have had an overactive imagination or something. Everyone in the Seven Seas knew there was no such thing as a _child_ vampire. I must have been seeing things. Yep, that was it.

The _sushi_ chef finally pried the baby girl off his head, blood trailing down his forehead. "Rosie!" He said sternly wagging his finger at her. "I'm sorry but I need to feed Rosie now...she gets cranky when she's hungry." The _sushi_ chef explained apologetically grabbing my arm and shoving me out of the galley.

"But, hey, wait!" I objected as I was unceremoniously thrown out. I scratched the back of my neck, chagrinned at my failure to convince the _sushi_ chef to join our crew. Maybe I should have tried a different manner of 'convincing' him and challenged the _sushi_ chef to a duel. _That's not a bad idea. I'll challenge him to a duel and if I win he has to join our crew._ I stroked my goatee thoughtfully.

I headed across the deck of the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ to where Santiago and Sloth were drinking rum together and looking rather chummy. I grit my teeth at the sight. I still didn't trust Sloth entirely.

"Yo." I greeted them as I plopped myself back down at the table and put my feet up on the table in front of me rocking the empty rum bottles that were already on the table. Damn, Captain Sloth could sure put away the rum.

"Back so soon. Any luck?" My bro asked me.

I shook my head and sighed. "He seemed interested but...he needed to feed the baby."

"Baby?" Santiago raised an eyebrow at my offhanded comment.

I just shrugged.

Sloth stroke his bushy beard. "Ah, that must be his leverage over the chef..."

"What?" Santiago questioned, suddenly not looking very drunk anymore.

"Oh nothing...nothing at all." Sloth said as he took a swig of rum from his bottle.

Just then, Captain Gluttony came back out on deck and approached our table. There was something about that pirate that just rubbed me the wrong way. Oh, yea, right – he was a pirate – and I hated pirates even though I was definitely well on my way to becoming one at this rate...

"Did ye all enjoy yer meal?" Gluttony asked with an abnormally large smile. "My apprentice chef Onigiri is incredible isn't he?"

Sloth nodded. "The food was exquisite."

Gluttony nodded. "I'm glad ye all enjoyed yerselves. Before ye go...Sloth there's something I'd like to show ye. I recently came into the possession of a very rare item and would like to show it off to ye, if ye have the time."

"A rare item ye say?" Sloth looked intrigued.

"Well, it's more of a rare _fish_ actually. But I think ye'll be very impressed nonetheless. Perhaps, I will even be able to convince ye to stay for the fine _sushi_ I intend to make out of this fish. It will surely be unlike anything ye've had in this world." Gluttony's golden eyes seemed to glitter.

"A rare fish, ye say. I'd be delighted." Sloth stood up from the table.

"Ye lads wait here. We won't be gone long. I'll tell yer waiter to bring ye lads the dessert menu. Feel free to order anything ye like, it's on the house!" Gluttony told Santiago and I loudly.

Santiago nodded in Gluttony's direction. "Thank you for your kind hospitality, Captain Gluttony. We're honored to be your guests." Santiago turned to give me an expectant look.

"Uh, oh, yea, likewise." I stuttered.

Gluttony smiled that odd smile of his revealing those enormous teeth. "It's nothing. Captain Santiago. Sloth where did you find these lads...they're like a breath of fresh air."

Captain Gluttony and Captain Sloth walked off and as soon as they were out of sight I turned to Santiago. "Thank you for your kind hospitality, Captain Gluttony. We're honored to be your guests." I repeated in a mocking tone. "Since when do you kiss up to pirates, Santiago?"

Santiago leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head in a casual gesture. "Since we entered their territory maybe. We're in the seas that are controlled by the Seven Deadly Pirates now. We need to play it safe. And there's something 'off' about Captain Gluttony and about this place. It's all too suspicious. I have a bad feeling about him. It's strange for a pirate to have a restaurant like this. A pirate giving something for nothing? It doesn't feel right. Pirates don't act that way. He's up to something with this place but I have no idea what..."

I nodded in agreement. I was about to tell my brother that I completely agreed with his 'bad feeling' concerning Captain Gluttony when I felt a tug on my sleeve and looked down to see some scrawny kid tugging on my arm. He looked like the typical spoiled brat/rich kid. Definitely some merchant's kid to be sure if his clothes were anything to go by. He was wearing a Elizabethan-style outfit with a vest, miniature jacket, pants that went to his knees, knee socks, and a pair of shiny leather shoes. He was extremely white, err, pale and had black hair. He looked to be around ten-years-old. A tiny little Lord.

The kid looked up at me and gave me a hopeful look. "Mister...you look strong. Are you strong? If you are...you have to help me!"

I shrugged the kid off. I wasn't good with kids. No patience. "Get lost kid. I don't have time to play games."

The boy pouted. "I'm not playing. I really need your help. Please!" The brat insisted. He was already giving me a headache. I began to rub at my temples. Kids were always so loud and whiney and overdramatic. "What did you lose? Your Teddy Bear? Why don't we alert the press?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

The kid looked near tears now...oops.

Santiago got out of his chair, approached the kid, and then bent down on one knee before he spoke to the brat eye to eye. "Hey, tell me what's wrong, lad?"

The kid looked Santiago over and shook his head. "No, not you big brother, you can't help me. You're too wimpy and look weak."

Santiago's eye twitched, he had been getting a bit skinny lately with his whole new vegetarian diet thing.

I burst out laughing.

Eye still twitching Santiago spoke through gritted teeth. "I can assure you I'm a lot tougher than I look, lad. I'm Captain of a ship too. Anyways tell me what's wrong lad. What's your name?"

The boy gave Santiago a skeptical look. "My name is Minoe. I came here aboard a merchant's ship called _Neptune's Trident_ seven days ago. My parents and I were invited to dine in one of the special VIP rooms. I was late because I was busy feeding the seagulls at the stern of the ship. When I got to the VIP room it was empty and my parents were gone. I haven't seen them since. It's like they just disappeared. I just know something awful must have happened to them." The boy burst into tears.

Santiago ruffled the boy's head. "Hey, don't cry. You need to be brave, Minoe. For your mom and dad's sake. Don't worry, Machete and I will help you."

"We will?" I sputtered.

"We'll help you find your parents...they've got to be on this ship somewhere. I say we investigate the VIP room for clues they might have left behind." Santiago declared pushing his spectacles up his nose in a smartass gesture.

Minoe sniffled, but at least he had stopped his annoying crying. "You'll both really help me find them? Thanks."

"Can you take us to the VIP room, Minoe?" Santiago asked as he straightened.

Minoe nodded. "Yea, it's this way." Minoe led us through the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ and to a door that had a bronze plaque on it which read: 'VIP ROOM'. "This is it." Minoe gulped and pushed the door open-

We entered the VIP room. The room was expansive and tastefully decorated with antiques. The room contained several large, round, dining tables with black tablecloths on them. The china and silverware were already all set out on the tables. There were glass globes on the tables that had a glowing candle inside of them. The room had no portholes.

Santiago – the 'brains' of this outfit – began to search the dining room for clues with Minoe trotting after him like a lost puppy. I shook my head and plopped down into a chair. I yawned broadly. I was sure we were on a wild goose chase.

"Black tablecloths..." Santiago muttered to himself as he fingered the material. "Interesting..." Santiago knelt down and ran his finger over the wooden deck. He rubbed his thumb and index finger together and frowned. "I think we should get out of here...now..." Santiago was saying, as he stood up, however-

I heard the sound of fast approaching footfalls coming from down the passageway that was just outside the VIP room. "Shit! Someone's coming!" I alerted them.

" _Maldecion_ ...hide!" Santiago ordered.

"Huh...?" I objected but Santiago grabbed Minoe and I, and before I realized what was happening we had hidden under one of the tables. "Why the hell are we hiding?" I demanded.

"Shhhh!" My brother warned me. "Do you want to get killed?" My brother had turned pale and almost looked afraid. This put me on my guard.

A group of chattering people entered the VIP room. We could see their shoes – pairs of fancy, silk, high-heeled shoes as well as well-polished gentleman's boots. These were obviously merchant couples that had come to dine at the _Davey Jones' Hunger_. We saw the scuffed boots next that were obviously the Pirate-Waiters' boots.

The merchant couples were laughing and chattering away gaily as the Pirate-Waiters led them to their tables. The waiters then left the dinning room and closed the door behind them. The merchant couples continued to chat happily until the dinning room door opened again and I watched as a pair of feet that had _zori_ sandals on them approach their tables.

_Zori_ sandals... "Onigiri?" I muttered.

"Hey, are you our new waiter? Can we please place our orders already? We're starved!" One of the merchants asked.

His only response was the sound of a _katana_ being unsheathed. I recognized the sound immediately because of my days of training with The Samurai.

"Blimey! Holy crap..." I began to move out from under the table but Santiago clamped his hand hard on my shoulder in a vice grip, stopping me. He shook his head and glared at me silently. Santiago placed his other hand over the kid's eyes.

"Don't open your eyes." Santiago warned the kid.

But it was already too late anyways. The sound of something being cleaved could be heard and then the sound of something hitting the deck. A wet thud. I knew that it must have been someone's head. A woman's scream followed this. The remaining couples and the merchant's wife fled for the door of the VIP room. The _sushi_ chef pursued them. Another head fell to the deck. Another scream filled the room.

"You sick bastard! I'll kill you!" The sound of a shot being fired and then another wet thud.

"No please...wait! I don't want to die!" A woman's voice. A wet thud. And then the strangest sound filled the dinning room: it was the sound of a child's excited laughter.

I couldn't stand being in the dark, and not knowing what was going on any longer and so lifted the black tablecloth to see what was going on-

I peered out and saw Onigiri holding the baby girl Rosie next to one of the dead bodies while she sunk her fangs down into the severed neck of one of the dead victims and drank the woman's blood.

I choked on a gasp. A _baby_ vampire?! Was that even possible? I'd never heard of such an abomination existing before. I lowered the tablecloth and put a hand over my mouth. I was going to be sick.

Santiago, Minoe and I waited, holding our breath in silence. Finally, Onigiri and the baby left the VIP room, but I had the feeling he was going to be back to clean up the mess he had made.

"I think I know what happened to Minoe's parents." I said cryptically.

"We need to get the hell out of here. Come on!" Santiago exited out from under the table and dragged us along with him.

We fled the VIP room, however, as we were running down the passageway we heard the sound of approaching footsteps again. This time from the other direction. _Shit._ Santiago spotted a door and tried the doorknob. It twisted and the door opened. "Quick! Inside!" We rushed inside of the room, closed the door behind us and--!

### Chapter 8: They don't call me Long John cause me head is so big

Santiago, Minoe and I quickly hid inside the room and shut the door behind us. We all pressed our ears against the door to listen for any sign of Onigiri and his vampire demon baby next...! We heard the sound of light footfalls pass us and we held our breaths. The bloodthirsty _samurai_ passed us. We sbulkheadowed thickly. Onigiri continued down the hall. We all let out the breath we had been holding.

Minoe sniffled as he came to grips with the reality of the situation and truth of his parents' disappearance. "Mommy...Daddy...that bad man killed them. I'm all alone now..."

Santiago patted the boy on his head and tried to calm him down. "Hey, don't cry, lad. You're not alone. You have us." Santiago gave the boy a warm smile.

I shook my head and decided to leave the kid to Santiago. Thank God – _he_ – was good with kids at least. I turned around to inspect the chamber we were in and my eyes widened:

We were inside of a room that was quite large and lit by candle bulkhead sconces. There was nothing in the room except for a gigantic, square aquarium that was about twenty feet long and about eight feet high. The aquarium was covered in heavy zigzagging, iron chains, which were locked with large padlocks. And there inside of the tank was:

"Hey guys, I think you should take a look at this." I said getting Santiago and Minoe's attention.

I turned back around to face the tank and began to approach the aquarium. Inside the aquarium was a mermaid! She had long, flowing, copper-colored hair, bright blue eyes the color of the deep sea, golden hued skin, and a shimmering green and blue scaled tail. Her breasts were bare and looked very familiar. They were the size of coconuts.

"Ah!" I pointed at the captive mermaid, "I know her!"

Santiago and Minoe had come to stand next to me and peered at the mermaid awestruck. Minoe's eyes had widened and there seemed to be stars in his eyes. "Blimey! Cool! A mermaid!"

Santiago's eyes had gone wide as well and he pushed his spectacles up his nose as he scrutinized the mermaid interestedly. "A real mermaid...so they _do_ exist. How fascinating."

I nodded enthusiastically. "I know! Right?!"

But then I watched as Santiago and the mermaid's eyes met for the very first time. "She's beautiful." Santiago complimented and gave the mermaid a shy, tender smile. It irritated me for some reason to see my brother looking so enamored by the mermaid.

Surprisingly, the mermaid smiled back at Santiago tentatively, acting equally shy and a pink blush spread across her pale cheeks.

I looked back and forth between Santiago and the mermaid, beginning to feel kinda pissed. "Oi! Oi! Oi!" I objected loudly. _What the hell was this 'moment' the two of them were sharing?! Love at first sight? Shit!_

Santiago turned his attention back to me. "You said you know her? Tell me, how do you know a mermaid?"

"She saved my life." I bragged. I had already begun to run my eyes over the chains that were keeping the lid on top of the aquarium and the mermaid effectively trapped inside."I would have drowned during my escape from Mercurius' ship if it weren't for her. I'm getting her out of there. She's obviously a prisoner." I whipped my machete out from my sash belt and approached the aquarium.

The mermaid's eyes went wide with fright.

Santiago's expression quickly turned to worry. "Machete...don't be so hasty. She must be Captain Gluttony's property. If we decide to free her we'll be making Captain Gluttony our enemy..."

"Whoever said he was our friend? If Captain Gluttony comes after us...I'll just have to kick his ass. It's as simple as that! Alright!" I charged the aquarium and slashed my machete through the air and aimed at the thick chains. I slashed my machete this way and that through the air and cut through the chains easily. The heavy chains fell to pieces onto the deck with loud thuds. The locks had been useless.

"Blimey! Wow! He really cut through those thick chains with nothing but that strange looking knife." Minoe exclaimed, stars in his eyes. "You're really awesome Mister!"

A self-satisfied smirk formed on my face. I approached the aquarium and grabbed the lid with my bare hands next. "Arrrr!" I yelled as I began to push the heavy lid off of the aquarium. Damn, it was heavy. But then Santiago was standing next to me and helping me to push the lid off. I turned to give my brother a nod in thanks and together we pushed the lid off until it made a heavy thud as it hit the deck.

The mermaid immediately swam up to the top of the tank, and put her hands on the top of the tank so that she could pull herself half way out of the water. She quirked her head at us curiously and I stared at her coppery hair that was covering her bare breasts. I locked eyes with the mermaid and reached my hand out to her. She hesitated before putting her hand in mine. I then lifted her out of the tank easily. To me she was as light as a feather when compared to a Buddha statue. I was soon holding the mermaid in my arms bridal-style. I was _so_ smooth.

The mermaid looked up at me and smiled shyly. "Thank you so much for saving me!"

"Yea, no big..." I said as I looked down at her and couldn't help myself from staring at her bare breasts. They were so damn fine. _Que hija de puta!_ It's just that they looked so soft and touchable. Before I realized what I was doing I had reached out to grasp one of her breasts. I squeezed it. "Yep...coconuts...it's you alright."

The mermaid turned red-faced, glared heatedly at me and then slapped me hard across the face in response. "You perverted pirate! How dare you!"

And then Santiago hit me over the back of my head with his fist for good measure. "Machete! That is no way to treat a lady!" He lectured.

"Ow..." I moaned. Two against one, no fair.

Santiago took the mermaid out of my arms and began to wrap her up in his orange, high-necked, monk jacket. "I'm really sorry about that Miss, my brother can be a real barbarian and a pervert. But deep, deep down he's a man with a kind heart." Santiago gave her an apologetic look.

The mermaid blushed as Santiago buttoned his jacket up for her. I grit my teeth as I watched them.

"Believe me, I _know_ ...when I saved his life he did the exact same thing. He grabbed my...well, he really seems to have a one track mind." The mermaid nodded knowingly.

Yep, the pretty little mermaid thought I was a total pervert. "Oi!" I objected.

"I would be honored if you would tell me your name, Miss?" Santiago asked the mermaid.

The mermaid smiled and nodded. "It's Anemone. And may I ask your name, kind sir?"

"Santiago. And I'm at your service, Anemone." Santiago declared with a gallant bow.

"Santiago...you're such a gentleman. You're so different from your uncouth brother..." Anemone said eyeing me in a wary fashion.

My heart sank. "Hey! Aren't you going to ask me _my_ name?" I asked her, heatedly. "I'm the one who got you out of that God-damned fish tank! Captain Gluttony was planning on making _sushi_ out of you, you know! Geez, the least you could say is 'thank you'." I said to the mermaid.

Santiago jerked his thumb in my direction. "And that's my hotheaded brother, Machete. Quick temper, slow mind." Santiago lowered his voice to say that last part in a conspiratorial tone. Damn my good hearing.

"And my name is Minoe!" The boy introduced himself to Anemone enthusiastically. "Are you really a mermaid? Is it true that you'll turn into bubbles and sea foam, and die if you lie? Is it true that you can control the weather?! Is there really a mermaid city deep under the ocean?" Minoe asked in a rush.

Anemone's gaze softened as she looked at the boy. "My, that's a lot of questions. It's very nice to meet you, Minoe. And yes, I'm a real mermaid but I'm sorry I can't answer your questions. I...have amnesia and so can't remember where I come from." She revealed.

"Amnesia? That's horrible!" Santiago burst out emotionally, already looking near tears as he gave Anemone a sympathetic look.

"Amnesia? How troublesome," I sneered.

"Don't worry Anemone, I Santiago, will help you to recover your memories." Santiago began. "It's a promise. Until then you're welcome to accompany my crew and I on our quest."

"Oh brother," I rolled my eyes.

Anemone gave Santiago a grateful look, looking near tears herself. "You'll really do that? You'll let me come with you...?"

"Yes. Is there anything you _do_ remember?" Santiago asked her curiously.

"Yes, the stars...for some reason I know how to navigate a ship by the stars and have no need of a compass." Anemone informed us.

"Navigate a ship?" Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose. "How interesting."

"I think you mean, convenient, bro. Hey, we happen to need a navigator for our ship the _Wandering Wolf_!" I said loudly, "Well, at least you'll come in handy for something." I put my hands out in a helpless gesture. "Most women and children are nothing but dead weight and nothing but trouble." I shook my head.

"Machete!" Santiago gave Anemone an apologetic look.

"I'm not dead weight!" Minoe objected with a pouting frown on his face.

"A brat who can't even protect himself is just dead weight. When you actually become useful and can protect other people that's when you become a _man_." I countered as me and the kid glared at each other. I turned my attention back to the mermaid. "So...what about your tail. We can't just carry you around everywhere." I started. "That would be quite troublesome."

Anemone glared back at me, fire in her blue eyes. Spunky. I liked spunk. "Idiot pirate, when my tail dries off I'll get my legs back. Then we should get the hell off this God-forsaken ship. Captain Gluttony and that _samurai_ he's forcing to work for him here are monsters!" Anemone shivered.

"Monsters?" Santiago questioned.

"Forcing?" I piped up, curious about the _samurai_.

But Anemone grew strangely tightlipped and wouldn't say another word about the matter even as we continued to press her about it. We waited ten minutes for Anemone's tail to dry. It was an amazing thing to watch as her tail suddenly began to transform into a pair of sexy, long legs. The Asian-style jacket she had borrowed from my brother ended up looking like a scandalously short dress. Santiago set her gently on the deck and Anemone stumbled as she tried to regain her balance. Santiago reached out to steady her and gave her a concerned look.

"Are you going to be alright with walking?" Santiago asked her.

Anemone looked like she was in pain but quickly schooled her expression. A determined look formed on her face as she gave Santiago a nod. "Yes, I just have to get used to walking again. Sorry for any inconvenience. We can go now."

Santiago frowned but then nodded. "Alright, let's go." Santiago took Anemone's hand to help her and we finally began to sneak out of the room and make our way as stealthily as possible to the upper deck.

However, as we were making our way as quietly as possible down the passageway and in the direction of the upper deck we heard the sound of approaching footfalls and voices again. The passageway forked right up ahead and we quickly turned the corner so that we could hide. We peeked out from behind the corner and saw Sloth and Gluttony making their way down the hall in our direction. Minoe almost cried out but Santiago placed a hand over the boy's mouth to keep him silent.

"Isn't she something?" Gluttony was saying conversationally.

"Indeed, she must have cost ye a pretty penny." Sloth stated.

"That she did, but hopefully she'll be worth every penny. I'll put that legend to the test and find out if the flesh of a mermaid really _will_ grant immortality after all. I'll have Onigiri make _sushi_ out of her. I'm sure it will be delicious." Captain Gluttony licked his lips and revealed his large, square teeth in the process.

"Immortality..." Sloth stroked and pulled at his bushy white beard. "Has a nice ring to it. Thank ye for the offer to share yer find with me, me heartie."

Gluttony shrugged. "I owe ye one from that last time. The Sea Forces would have had us if we hadn't teamed up against them!" Gluttony chuckled and grabbed his shaking belly in the process.

A crooked smile formed on Sloth's face. "Right, we blew that Sea Forces' ship to smithereens. Do ye really think that eating her flesh will cure ye of yer...condition?" Sloth asked in a tentative manner.

Gluttony shrugged carelessly. "Only one way to find out."

"Right." Sloth nodded.

Gluttony held up a bottle of rum that he had seemingly pulled out of nowhere. "Cheers! To immortality without an insatiable hunger!"

"Cheers!" Sloth also held up a bottle of rum and the two pirate captains clinked their bottles together. They chuckled loudly and continued their way down the corridor turning left and just missing us by a hair's breadth.

I let out the breath I had been holding.

Anemone was trembling violently in Santiago's arms. "He plans to make _sushi_ out of me...!"

"No one listens to me do they?" I said aloud.

"That's horrible!" Minoe agreed loudly.

"Anemone, don't worry, don't be afraid. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll...protect you." Santiago stated as he stroked her hair.

Anemone looked up and stared deeply into Santiago's eyes. " _Santiago_ ..."

"Alright, lovebirds, we really should get going." I interrupted their lovey dovey moment. "Like ten seconds ago!"

"Right, let's go." Santiago coughed, and quickly composed himself.

We snuck our way to the upper deck and began to race across the strangely abandoned deck towards our long boat. We had to get to the _Wandering Wolf_ ASAP. However-

Onigiri suddenly appeared in our path, that strange baby still latched to his back. His expression as cold and emotionless as usual. Onigiri silently unsheathed his _katana_ and pointed it as us. "You shall not pass." He said simply.

_Oh shit._ I thought. "Santiago, go! Get Anemone and Minoe to safety! I'll take care of this guy!" I declared in a confident manner. "I'll meet up with you all after I finish this."

"Machete..." Santiago chewed on his lower lip, giving me a worried look before he nodded. "Alright. Just don't get yourself killed!" He said as he led Anemone by the hand and Minoe towards our longboat. But then-

Captain Gluttony made a sudden appearance in front of Santiago. Sloth was behind and slightly next to the pirate captain. "Captain Santiago, where do ye think ye're going with me property...?" He drawled, a dangerous look in his beady, golden hued eyes.

Santiago unsheathed his cutlass and pointed it at Captain Gluttony, "She's not your property, or anyone's property. Anemone is a person. She's free. And I will not let you harm her! You'll have to get through me first!" Santiago got into a Kung Fu fighting stance.

Captain Gluttony's golden eyes narrowed dangerously at Santiago. "Is that so? To try and take me on, on yer own, is either very brave or very foolish. I'm one of the Seven Deadly Pirates, lad. Do ye really think ye can beat me on yer own?"

"I'm not alone. Captain Sloth, you'll help me to protect Anemone, right?" Santiago turned and gave Sloth a beseeching look.

But Sloth put his hands out in a helpless gesture. "I'm afraid I can't get involved in this fight. Ye see, I have neither quarrel with Captain Gluttony nor any quarrel with ye. Therefore, I intend to merely observe the outcome of this fight as a neutral spectator..."

Santiago gave Sloth an incredulous look. "You intend to do nothing?!"

"They don't call me Captain _Sloth_ for nothing, ye know." Sloth grinned as he put his hands behind his head and just stood there.

"Damn...Anemone, Minoe, get to the longboat. Head back to the _Wandering Wolf_. Get a woman named Lust to help you! She's our only hope!" Santiago quickly explained to the mermaid and the boy.

"Right!" Anemone nodded and took Minoe's hand before running to the long boat.

"Where do you think you're going, lass!" Captain Gluttony roared as he charged after her, but Santiago quickly got in his way, and as Captain Gluttony raised his gigantic cutlass to bring it down upon Anemone, Santiago was suddenly there to block the blow with his own cutlass-

Their weapons clashed, sending sparks into the air. Captain Gluttony looked down at Santiago. "Do ye really think ye can best me in strength?" Captain Gluttony questioned before applying pressure on his sword and slashing downwards-

Santiago was pushed back and his back hit one of the main masts with a _crack_. Santiago gasped in pain.

"Santiago!" I yelled and nearly got beheaded for taking my eyes off of my opponent for a second. I brought my machete up just in time though to block Onigiri's _katana_ 's sideways slash aimed at my neck-

"It's unwise to take your eyes off your opponent." Onigiri chided me, reminding me of The Samurai.

"Shit..." I grit my teeth. I had to concentrate on Onigiri or else I was as good as dead...but I knew Santiago was no match for Captain Gluttony. Captain Sloth was useless, and couldn't be counted on. So there was no help coming from that angle. I had to finish this fight against Onigiri ASAP so that I could go help my brother!

Meanwhile, Captain Gluttony's crew of Pirate-Waiters began to emerge upon the upper deck and awaited Captain Gluttony's orders. We were suddenly surrounded and grossly outnumbered. Things were getting hairier by the second and our chances of leaving _Davey Jones' Hunger_ alive were getting slimmer. I didn't like these odds at all.

[MACHETE VS ONIGIRI] FIGHT!

"Arrrr!" I wildly charged Onigiri head on, with my machete raised.

Onigiri raised his _katana_ and easily blocked my crazy attack.

"Arrrr!" I cried as I slashed and stabbed at Onigiri madly, hoping that my unpredictable movements would throw him off. But unexpectedly Onigiri met me blow for blow. I had to admit I was impressed. Not a lot of people could keep up with my unpredictable movements. He was fast and he seemed to be getting faster.

I needed to kick things up a notch, I decided. "Onigiri...I will defeat you and then you're going to join our crew as our _sushi_ chef!"

Onigiri looked at me in surprise. "I can tell that you all are good people. Why would you want a man like me to join your crew? I'm a cold-blooded killer. My hands are stained with the blood of innocents." Onigiri said and I could see the dark shadows flickering across his eyes.

"Not by choice! Captain Gluttony is forcing you to do his dirty work isn't he?" I declared loudly.

Onigiri looked startled. "How do you know about that?"

I smirked. "So it's true then...now I really want to beat you and get you to join our crew! You're a fuckin awesome _samurai_. We need a kickass chef like you. So it's time I get serious." I declared and began to unbutton my shirt...

Onigiri raised his eyebrow at me and waited while beginning to look uncomfortable.

I took my shirt off to reveal the weights that were strapped to my arms and the weights that were strapped around my waist. Onigiri's eyes widened as he seemed to recognize the types of weights I was using. I removed the weights (custom made for me by The Samurai) and dropped them to the deck. They fell with a loud thud and the impact was so great that the weights formed a hole in the deck. I could hear my weights crashing down to the next level only to crash through that deck and go down even further to another level. I removed my leg weights and tossed them into the hole next-

Onigiri's eyes had narrowed at the weights. "Those weights...where did you get them?"

"I got them from my _sensei_. Now let's try this again shall we? Arrrr!" I charged Onigiri swiftly and brought my machete down upon him in a fierce downwards slash.

Onigiri blocked the attack but just barely. I smirked, I had him now! "Arrr!" I recklessly attacked Onigiri with random jabs and slashes and stabs, and I was pushing Onigiri back as he went on the defense to block and evade my fast blows.

"Arrrr!" I cried as I slipped past his defenses and slashed his chest.

Rosie clapped her hands together in excitement and Onigiri looked down at the wound I had caused him. He took off his bloodied shirt and tossed it aside. "It's time I also got serious. Ahhhh! _Hooryah!_ " Onigiri cried, as he appeared to be summoning some kind of power around him. A fierce wind began to blow around him and a cyclone of wind began to form around his sword. It was invisible but I was able to sense it. "Try this on for size, Sanky Panky Pirate, my ultimate attack! Ahhh!" Onigiri swung his sword forward-

As I charged him head on.

He brought his _katana_ down in a downward slash at me and I raised my machete to block the attack. However, I felt a physical blow hit my chest and knock me back anyways. It had felt like a tornado had hit my chest. I was knocked off my feet and sent flying back, and spinning through the air-

I crashed into one of the dining tables, which was destroyed upon impact. I shook my head. I was seeing stars and was swirly-eyed with dizziness. I struggled to stand and looked down at my chest. There was a strange wound there that looked like someone had used a double-edged sickle to carve curved slashes into my chest in a kind of rose pattern. That had been no ordinary attack. It had been...? "That was an elemental wind attack, wasn't it?" I asked.

Onigiri looked impressed. "I'm surprised you figured that out, _dominican_. What with your lack of education and all."

It somewhat irked me that he had just assumed I was _dominican_ because of my dark skin but I ultimately shrugged. "I've faced a similar sword before. One that could control the element of water." I informed the _samurai_ and eyed the vampire baby, Rosie, who was laughing and giggling at the bloodier moments of carnage we were creating up on the upper deck.

"The element of water? That means someone managed to subdue the Shark Beast God Genbu and took one of his teeth to forge a sword out of it." A dark frown formed on Onigiri's face. "The prophecy is coming to pass. My sword was forged from the talon of the Phoenix Beast God Suzaku, who controls the element of wind."

"Beast Gods?" I blinked.

Onigiri gave me an exasperated look. "I know the _dominican_ education system is horrendous, but...I thought they would have at least taught you about the Four Beast Gods that rule our world? No? Well...I might as well start at the beginning. In our world there exist four Beast Gods. Each Beast God controls one of the four elements: earth, wind, fire, and water. Genbu controls water. Suzaku wind. Byakko the Snow Leopard Beast God controls the element of earth and lightning, and Seiryuu the Dragon Beast God controls the element of fire."

"Fire?" I suddenly became intrigued. I had always had an attraction to fire. I was a bit of a pyromaniac growing up as a kid. I loved to set things on fire and watch them burn. Moreno and Amano always had a hard time hiding the matches from me as we were growing up. And there were these odd instances when fire should have burned me but it hadn't. "So you're saying if I find this Beast God Seiryuu and subdue him I could forge one of these magical swords?"

"Seiryuu is a powerful, ancient dragon that lives on the highest point of Mount Fuji in _Sakura Jima_. It would not be so easy..." Onigiri shook his head at me.

"I could do it. I can beat him." I declared in a cocky manner, "What's a dragon except for a giant lizard? I need a sword that can control the element of fire if I'm to face Captain Envy...err, Captain Tiburón again."

"Captain Envy?" Onigiri asked curiously, however-

Meanwhile, Santiago was getting his ass kicked by Captain Gluttony. "Ahhh!" Santiago cried out as he was flung backwards again. Santiago staggered to his feet and Gluttony decided to throw his sword at Santiago like a lance or javelin-

"Crap!" Santiago didn't have enough time to bring up his cutlass to block the deadly attack, so instead dived out of the way.

However, the cutlass was now speeding towards Onigiri's back or rather the vampire baby girl that was latched onto his back-!

" _Coñio!_ " I cried as I rushed forward and brought up my machete to deflect the cutlass-

The cutlass turned course with a loud _clang!_ and embedded itself in one of the main masts.

"You bastard! You almost hit the baby!" I cried and holding my machete like a javelin I flung my machete at the now unarmed Captain Gluttony using my entire true strength. It hit Captain Gluttony square in the chest and he was flung backwards where he landed on the deck with a loud _thud!_ with my machete sticking out of the very center of his chest.

Onigiri's eyes went wide. "You've been holding back your true strength haven't you...why?" He gave me a confused look.

I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment. "It's hard for me to fight you seriously when you have that baby on your back..." I admitted.

"But...she's a vampire baby. An abomination. Why should you care about her?" Onigiri persisted.

I shrugged. "Well, you call her an abomination but you don't truly believe that do you? You seem to care about her. You're trying to protect her aren't you? There must be some good in that child if a powerful man like you has decided to become her protector. I'm sure there's an interesting story behind it. Once you join our crew I'll have you tell us all about it."

Onigiri was giving me a look of pure disbelief but then he smiled slightly and lowered his _katana_ , "Now I can see why my father decided to train you. You're a violent, reckless, hotheaded and hot-tempered man, but you have a good heart. You protected Rosie...I am in your debt." The _sushi_ chef suddenly knelt before me. "I will join your crew and become your cook."

I grinned. " _Excellente!_ Alright!"

However, a booming chuckling was heard and I looked over to see that Captain Gluttony's chest was moving up and down. He was still alive! Captain Gluttony stood up and gripped the hilt of my machete. He pulled my machete out of his chest and tossed it aside.

"What's this, Onigiri? Do ye intend to betray me? After everything I've done for ye and Rosie? I let yer vampire child feed on me customers, after ye killed them! How do ye intend to get fresh bodies and fresh blood to feed that child if ye leave me? That child will die without fresh human blood...!" Captain Gluttony cruelly reminded Onigiri.

"That's actually _not_ entirely true," Captain Sloth interrupted slowly. "A vampire needs fresh blood yes...but it doesn't actually have to be 'human' blood. I know lots of vampires who have decided to feed from animals instead of humans. The only difference is that when vampires feed from humans they gain supernatural abilities and when they feed from animals they do not."

Onigiri looked decked by this new information. "Gluttony is this true?!"

Gluttony gnashed his oversized teeth together out of frustration. "So what if it is!"

Onigiri staggered backwards a few steps. "You mean...I could have avoided all this senseless killing? You knew, and yet you had me kill all those innocent people? Why?!"

"Ye know why...me existence is cursed." Captain Gluttony's gaze hardened. He looked like a pirate about to hang from the gallows for his crimes. "I need ye, so I won't let ye leave, Onigiri."

Santiago, Onigiri and I faced off against Captain Gluttony and his crew now. Santiago and Onigiri let out a battle cry and attacked Captain Gluttony's men. I ran over to my fallen machete, grabbed it in a kinda roll and stood up with my machete in hand. Captain Gluttony stalked over to retrieve his giant cutlass, which was sticking out from the main mast.

[MACHETE VS CAPTAIN GLUTTONY] FIGHT!

I let out a battle cry and attacked Captain Gluttony. He was slow, really slow. We attacked each other, and passed each other at the same time. I turned around to face Captain Gluttony and watched as his arm was severed from his shoulder, blood spurted through the air. I had cut Captain Gluttony's arm off!

Captain Gluttony roared in pain and anger. "How dare ye, _dominican_! This isn't over yet!" Gluttony declared as he grabbed one of his crewmembers by the arm and dragged the man closer.

"No! Wait! Please Captain!" The man cried out fearfully before-

Captain Gluttony sunk his huge teeth into the man's arm and bit a chunk of flesh out of the man's arm. The Pirate-Waiter cried out in horror, pain and agony. Captain Gluttony chewed slowly, with relish and sbulkheadowed. "Ah, I feel much better now..." Gluttony declared, his eyes glittering with malice.

I watched in mystified horror as Gluttony's wounds began to steam and hiss and heal themselves.

_What the hell? Does he have some kind of regeneration ability?_ I wondered to myself. "What the hell are you?" I breathed. He was definitely _not_ human.

"I'm an Immortal...Zombie." Captain Gluttony informed me. "I was supposed to be an Immortal Vampire but Captain Wrath who was supposed to 'turn' me thought it would be funny not to. Do you know what happens to humans who have been bitten by a vampire but not 'turned' lad?"

"No..." I admitted.

"They turn into mindless, flesh-eating zombies. It's not that we zombies want to eat human flesh...it's that we _have_ to. My flesh begins to rot the longer I go without human flesh. That's why I started this magnificent restaurant to provide myself with decent meals. This restaurant caters to pirates first and foremost. I would never eat one of me pirate brethren...well, unless I was really starved! And the few merchant ships that dine at my restaurant...well, any merchant is good eatin'! That whelp's mother and father for instance were extremely delicious: nice, fat, and plump. Spoiled rich merchants. I've been searching the ship for that boy for the last few days. He's annoyingly tiny and can hide in strange places. He's scrawny but he'll make a nice appetizer." Gluttony licked his lips as he looked Minoe over.

_Minoe?_ I thought as I turned to see the boy who was simply standing on the deck and staring at us. _Minoe?!_ I exclaimed in my mind. _I thought he escaped with Anemone._ I paled. "You ate that boy's parents....? You're scum. I will defeat you!" _He must have a weakness!_ I began to think frantically. I needed a plan, or something, or maybe just Santiago to come up with something and quickly. _What was that saying? The bigger they are the harder they fall, right?_

"I've read about zombies." Santiago began as he slashed his sword at a pirate who took a step back. "If he's a zombie then his weakness is fire!" Santiago called out before he beheaded the pirate in front of him so that blood gushed like a fountain from his severed neck.

_Fire?_ I looked around the deck and spotted a lit oil lamp. Next, I spotted a barrel full of oil. I ran over to it, dipped my machete into the barrel, and then slashed my machete at the oil lamp. The oil lamp shattered and the flames licked my sword and instantly covered my machete in a nice blanket of deadly flames. "Now we're talking." I said to myself as I attacked Captain Gluttony. "Die you monster!" I slashed my flaming machete at him.

Captain Gluttony began to be pushed back as he avoided the swipe of my machete-

That's when I spotted the barrel of oil again and had a sudden idea. But it would need teamwork – I needed to get closer to that barrel of oil and I needed Santiago's help. The only problem was that Santiago was busy facing off against the entire crew of Pirate-Waiters. _Dammit!_ However-

That's when Lust suddenly jumped on the deck of the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ making her entrance from a raised longboat. She looked around, and quickly assessed the situation we were in. "You boys sure know how to start a party. But it seems we're missing the entertainment. Guess that's where I come in." Lust took a deep breath, opened her mouth and began to sing.

Her ethereal, otherworldly voice filled the air and then Captain Gluttony's crew began to fall to the deck deck – fast asleep.

Lust smiled at her handiwork, hands on her hips. "That should even the odds, I think."

_That was awesome. Lust is awesome. She just took out more than thirty pirates all on her own!_ "Hell yea! You'll be next Captain Gluttony. There's no way to escape a siren's song!" I said in a snarky manner.

"Siren?" Captain Gluttony turned to eye Lust curiously before he recognized her. "Captain Lust!" Captain Gluttony roared, looking furious. "How dare ye attack a fellow Seven? I won't let yer song affect me!" Gluttony tossed his cutlass aside and raised his hands to his ears pointing his index fingers at the insides of his ears. I was wondering what the hell he was up to and noticed that he had long, black fingernails when he suddenly stabbed the insides of his ears with his fingers penetrating his own eardrums with his nails. Blood began to gush out of his ears and trickle down the sides of his face as a result.

Unexpectedly Lust burst out laughing. "You fool! You're already dead Captain Gluttony, my song no longer affects you! Or had you forgotten?" Gluttony read Lust's lips and he paled as he realized that what she said was true. His expression then turned murderous.

My eyes widened. He had just destroyed his own eardrums just to avoid getting caught by Lust's song. Was her song truly that potentially dangerous? I shuddered.

On the upside Santiago was now free to help me put my plan into action. "Santiago! Here take it!" I threw Santiago my flaming machete. He caught it easily.

"Foolish lad!" Captain Gluttony roared as he backhanded me and I went flying back into the barrels of oil with a crash. I stood up and shook myself like a dog.

I looked around for an unbroken barrel of oil and spotted one. The large barrels weighed at least a hundred pounds each. I got my arms around the barrel and lifted it up. I then hefted it over my shoulder with one hand on the front of the barrel, and with my other hand holding the back of the barrel. "Arrrr!" I cried as I used all my strength and launched the barrel in Captain Gluttony's direction. It hit his chest and exploded on impact, showering Gluttony with oil.

"Now Santiago!" I called.

"Right!" Santiago attacked Captain Gluttony and lunged my flaming machete forward into Captain Gluttony's stomach. As soon as the machete touched Gluttony he burst into flames-

"ARRRRGGGHHH!" Captain Gluttony roared in pain and agony as he was being consumed by the fire.

I covered my nose against the stench of burning flesh. It was horrible. And then Captain Gluttony's body was burned away almost instantly into ashes that fell into a heap on the deck. Minoe watched Captain Gluttony's demise with a cold expression on his face.

Flames began to creep along the deck and I noticed that some of the flames were heading straight for the barrels of oil, which instantly caught on fire and exploded once the flames had reached them. The upper deck was quickly turning into a gigantic inferno. The merchants who had been dining at the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ were fleeing en masse in the longboats.

"Time to go!" I stated and ran towards the longboat. I grabbed Lust's wrist as I went and dragged her along with me. She didn't resist.

Santiago was close behind. But Onigiri had stopped and was watching silently as the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ \- Captain Gluttony's ship - was being consumed by fire.

"Kyahhh! Teeheehehehehe!" The vampire girl child Rosie clapped her hands together and giggled, her ruby eyes reflecting the flames eerily.

"Hurry up _sushi_ chef! You don't want to be left behind!" I yelled.

Onigiri snapped out of his daze and ran after us. But that's when I spotted Minoe alone on the upper deck watching the flames and looking at the pile of ash that was once Captain Gluttony. "Oi kid! Minoe!" I called out to the boy but he didn't seem to hear me. "Shit!" I ran towards Minoe and stopped once I was in front of him. "Minoe...how'd you get back here? It's time to go. You're coming with us, right?"

Minoe turned around to face me and gave me a toothy smile. "Captain Gluttony is dead. And it's all thanks to your brother Santiago and to you. Thank you. I was filled with so much regret that I was unable to do anything for my parents. But now they've been avenged."

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. I wasn't used to receiving ' _thank you_ 's. "Yea...whatever. It was nothing. Come on let's go..." I said making a grab for Minoe's arm but my hand passed straight through Minoe's body. "What the?"

Minoe's body was suddenly becoming transparent. "Minoe?" I asked, my brow becoming furrowed in my confusion.

"Goodbye Machete. Thank you again. Now I can finally rest in peace and return to my parents. They're waiting for me." Minoe explained to me.

"Minoe..." Minoe was a ghost? No way. I watched as Minoe disappeared before my eyes. I shook my head, feeling choked up, and ran the rest of the way to the longboat where the others were waiting for me. After we had all gotten into the longboat we began to lower it down into the water using the ropes and pulleys.

My expression turned smug as I thought back on my defeat of Captain Gluttony. "You see? Piece of cake. We saved Anemone, defeated Captain Gluttony, got ourselves a new navigator, and a new cook! And Lust came to our rescue because deep down she really likes us! You see, I told you she could be trusted, Santiago."

Santiago gave Lust a pensive look. "Thank you for coming to our aid, Lust. We wouldn't have been able to do it without you."

"Not at all Captain...I was surprised when that girl came asking me for help. Just who is she anyways, Machete? Your lover?" Lust asked offhandedly.

I blinked at Lust in shock. Was that jealousy I detected in her voice? Naw...it couldn't be. "Just the woman who saved my life." I responded nonchalantly. "Anemone is...special."

"Special?" Lust's brows raised and she seemed to be trying to mask her unease. "I see...you were impressive back there, Machete. I can't believe you managed to defeat a pirate as powerful as Captain Gluttony."

I scratched the back of my neck bashfully since I wasn't used to Lust's praise. "Aw it was nothing."

"Killing Captain Gluttony comes at a steep price." Onigiri began in a monotone voice. "You've made an enemy of the Seven Deadly Pirates...others will be coming after you because of this Machete."

"The Seven Deadly Pirates?" I scoffed, "Let's see...we already know who Captain Gluttony _was_. We already personally know Captain Lust and Captain Sloth, and have already gotten them on our side. Captain Envy is Captain Tiburón. Sebastian's father was Captain Greed, who's already dead. And my father was Captain Pride but he's already dead too. That only leaves one of the Seven Deadly Pirates that we don't know anything about and that is Captain Wrath. And really compared to the others how bad can he really be? If this Captain Wrath tries to get in my way I'll just kick his ass."

"Captain Wrath is a true monster." Onigiri declared. "The Monster Hunter Clan have put a bounty on his head of nine hundred pieces-of-eight. He's their number one target. Hundreds of _samurai_ have already been sent to their grave because of him. My mother..." Onigiri's voice caught in his throat but he plunged on. "Was killed by him. He is not an enemy to be underestimated."

My eyes widened. Captain Wrath had killed Onigiri's mother? "I'm sorry...I didn't know." I said apologetically.

Onigiri shook his head. "It was a long time ago."

Anemone put her hand on Onigiri's and gave him a sympathetic look. "Even if it was a long time ago...no one ever really gets over the loss of a loved one. I remember... _something_ about my past...shadow memories of people crying...over someone who was dead. They were so sad. My heart aches when I think of their sadness. I wish I could remember who they were and why they were crying." Anemone frowned and shook her head.

Onigiri gave Anemone a surprised look and let her keep her hand upon his. He nodded, probably in silent agreement that she was right.

"There goes me six hundred pieces-of-eight," Sloth sighed.

"Huh?" I turned to look at the old man, "Six hundred pieces-of-eight?"

"That was the bounty for Captain Gluttony who ye just had to go and burn to ashes." Sloth shook his head at me.

"Six hundred pieces-of-eight..." I murmured. "Nooo!"

Santiago looked around the longboat. "Hey, where's Minoe? I saw him back on the Davey Jones' Hunger." He gave me a questioning look.

I shook my head sadly and gave my brother a regretful look.

As the longboat approached the _Wandering Wolf_ I looked behind us to watch as the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ sank. I thought I could see three figures waving at us and I grabbed Santiago's telescope so I could take a better look. I saw Minoe standing next to a woman dressed in Elizabethan-style dress and a man dressed in a suit. Those were probably Minoe's parents, I realized. I grinned and waved back at them. _Goodbye kid..._

Santiago noticed what I was doing and grabbed his telescope out of my hand to peer at the deck of the _Davey Jones' Hunger_. His eyes widened when he saw Minoe and watched as the boy and his parents slowly began to disappear into thin air. "A ghost ship..."

***

Back upon the _Wandering Wolf_ ...

I tiredly made my way to my cabin and didn't even notice that Lust had followed me inside. I turned around to lock the door and came face to face with the beautiful yet deadly Siren Witch.

Lust pounced on me and smashed her lips passionately against mine. My eyes bulged. For a second there I thought she was attacking me or trying to kill me again. I was a bit freaked out to be sure, but pleasantly surprised to say the least. I didn't expect to have her in my arms ever again. She gripped the back of my head forcefully and tugged at my hair painfully. I gasped and opened my mouth. Lust plunged her tongue into my mouth and kissed me hungrily, almost desperately.

She began to push me aggressively backwards towards the bed. We pulled apart, both of us gasping for breath, and I asked, "What's gotten into you, _princessa_?"

A playful smirk formed on her sexy red lips. "Seeing you fight and defeat Captain Gluttony like that made me hot."

I raised an eyebrow at her bold declaration. "Did it now?" I asked teasingly.

"I want to buy you for the night, Sanky Panky Pirate." Lust declared, her voice husky, and thick with desire, a hungry look in her crystalline blue-gray eyes. They reminded me of the steel of a nice new machete.

"Huh?" I gaped at her. She wanted to buy me? I was suddenly falling down from cloud nine and was brought back to my sad reality by her harsh words.

In my stunned state she easily pushed me back onto the bed. I stumbled backwards and plopped down on the bed. Lust pounced on me and began stripping my pants off by impatiently tugging them off my legs. Whoa. She was turning into a hellcat. I was already missing my shirt from my battle against Onigiri earlier too, so it wasn't long before I was completely naked. "Whoa...slow down...what's the rush, _mi princessa reina_? Let's savor the moment. How about a little more foreplay?" My hands were itching to get to cup and fondle her delicious, grapefruit sized breasts.

"Foreplay?" Lust cocked her head and looked at me like I was crazy, a strange, cold gleam in her eyes. "Why would I want to engage in foreplay with my new sex toy? Just stay still, get hard, and perform well." Lust declared silkily as she untied her sash belt from around her waist and used it to tie my wrists over my head and to the bedposts.

My eyes widened at her statement but I didn't resist since I didn't want to accidentally hurt her. "Oi...is this really necessary? To tie me up like this? Something like this...it's humiliating for a man. I have my pride too, you know."

Lust paused and looked down at me. "If you won't be tied up then...we won't have sex. You enjoy having sex tied up don't you? You enjoyed our last time together didn't you? You spilled your seed inside of me for a very long time..." She drawled in a voice like black velvet.

I sbulkheadowed thickly, her words making me remember our last time together. My manhood twitched. "Yea, I enjoyed it but...if you let me free I could make you feel even better..." _I could take you more deeply than before, really make you mine._ I thought to myself.

Lust shook her head. "Let you free? Never...you're a barbarian. There's no telling what you'd do!" Lust said as she reached down and grasped my slightly hard member. I grunted as she began to pump me until I became fully erect.

Lust took her underwear off and wasted no time in straddling me and lowering herself down upon me. "Ah!" Lust cried out as she let herself fall down on me completely so that I was completely sheathed in her glorious, wet heat.

She had left her white tube dress on and I frowned, disappointed. I wanted to see her beautiful breasts as she made love to me.

Lust threw her head back in pleasure and her whole body was tingling. "So good...dammit..." She began to move above me, finding a slow, steady rhythm for our lovemaking. She made the most wonderful little cooing sounds and expressions filled with rapture. I could tell she was losing herself in the carnal pleasure I was giving her.

I concentrated hard on not coming too fast. I wanted to savor this moment and make it last as long as possible. I thrust my hips upwards and watched enraptured as Lust arched her back in pleasure and cried out. I smirked and repeated the motion again, "Lust...take your dress off...I want to see you... _please_ ..."

Lust hesitated before she gave in and unzipped her dress before taking it off over her head. She then tossed it over on the deck. She hadn't been wearing a bra or any kind of undergarment and so now as she rode me I got to watch her beautiful, pale, moon breasts bounce up and down in a fascinating manner. Breasts were really so intriguing. I could feel a trickle of drool forming at the corner of my mouth and gave myself a mental slap to control myself.

Lust glared down at me. "You have...the most ridiculous expression on your face, Sanky Panky Pirate. Stop looking at me like that. It's irritating me and ruining the mood." She said in a raspy voice.

"I know." I said and smirked. I didn't care if she knew I was enjoying this and didn't care if I was giving her some sappy, dreamy look either. Right then, in that moment, we were _one_. I wished that moment could just last forever.

"You idiot...toy..." Lust growled as she leaned over me and suddenly kissed me.

I couldn't hold it any long and came. I abruptly thrust upwards deeply causing Lust to cry out. I must have hit her pleasure spot because she came right after me. I continued to thrust upwards even after I had come so that her own climax would be even more pleasurable as she slowly rode the fading waves of her orgasm.

As soon as Lust had finished she abruptly got off of me and began to hastily dress. I gawked at her in shock from my prone position still tied to the bed. "You're not staying?" _I wanted to cuddle dammit...!_ And here I thought women were supposed to be more sensitive than men.

Lust turned to give me an incredulous, haughty look. "Stay? And do what? Cuddle? With you? Ha! I think not." Lust dressed fully and then reached into her jacket pocket. She took out two pieces-of-eight and tossed them onto the bed. "Your performance tonight was worth two pieces-of-eight, Sanky Panky Pirate. Try better next time. _Buenas noches._ Good night." Lust declared before she slipped out of my room, her long pirate coat billowing behind her.

I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't move to untie myself or to touch the pieces-of-eight that were scattered upon the bed.

Lust obviously only wanted to use me for sex. She only saw me as a male prostitute, a toy. She didn't care about me at all.

I liked having sex with Lust but...if we continued to have sex like this it would be impossible for me not to end up feeling something for her. Dammit, why was I so damn sensitive? I was a man. I wasn't supposed to be this way. Men weren't supposed to be the ones who were all sensitive and emotional when it came to something like sex. Sex for me was supposed to be just a diversion for pleasure. According to society men were supposed to have as much sex as possible with as many women as possible. But...I just wanted Lust. Was I strange? Did this make me less of a man?

The fact was, I was already falling for her. Hard.

"Crap!" I moaned aloud. "This is _so_ not good. I can't fall in love with her. I won't. I'm just a Sanky Panky Pirate...just like she said. And two pieces-of-eight? What the hell was up with that? That cheap bitch...I was at least worth three...minimum!" I grit my teeth and went to sleep - naked, and tied up to the bed with pieces-of-eight surrounding my body on the mattress. Man, I was so pathetic just then.

### Chapter 9: Ye certainly put the shiver in me timber, lassie

"Do we have a heading Captain?" I asked my bro.

"Aye... _Sakura Jima_ (Island of the Cherry Blossoms)." Santiago responded pushing his spectacles up his nose.

" _Sakura Jima_?" I blinked at my bro in question since originally Sloth had wanted us to avoid that island if it were possible for reasons he wasn't willing to tell us. "Sloth I thought you didn't want to go there if we didn't need supplies? Before we fled the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ I stole some food and provisions from the galley and tossed them into our longboat."

"I've changed me mind." Sloth declared. "I overheard Onigiri telling you about the Four Beast Gods that rule this world and how Captain Tiburón must have bested the Shark Beast God Genbu. Onigiri has the sword made from the talon of the Phoenix Beast God Suzaku. That means there are two Beast Gods left that have either mystical talons or fangs. The Dragon Beast God Seiryuu and the Snow Leopard Beast God Byakko. Onigiri slipped up when he told us that Seiryuu happens to be living on _Sakura Jima_." Sloth informed us, a sly grin forming on his thin lips.

Onigiri glared at Sloth with a cold fire burning in his stony gaze. "I did not 'slip up', Sir. I wanted Machete to know. He mentioned that he wished there was a way he could face Captain Tiburón on equal ground. Well, there is a way for Machete to gain the power to do so. Machete must defeat Seiryuu and get the Mystical Blacksmith Muramasa to forge him a magical sword with the ability to control the element of fire."

I looked at Onigiri in surprise since last night the _samurai_ had confided in me that he had taken a vow – never to return to _Sakura Jima_ – and now he was telling me that he would take me there personally so that I could face Seiryuu. It just didn't make any sense. "Why are you helping me?" I asked the _sushi_ chef confusedly.

"I believe you'll be able to defeat Seiryuu." Onigiri said simply.

"Then it's settled...our heading is west to _Sakura Jima_!" Sloth said loudly.

"Aye aye Captain!" The crew cheered.

I watched Anemone, who was at Santiago's side at the helm, pointing west so that Santiago would know which way to go. Santiago nodded and turned the wheel to port. The wind caused our sails to fill and billow and I noticed that we had an unusually strong and steady wind that day. I felt suspicious rather than happy about that since luck was never luck in my experience.

"Avast shipmates! Land ho!" Moreno cried several hours later from his position in the crow's nest as soon as he spotted the island we had been searching for.

I excitedly ran to the bow of the ship and peered ahead – an island could be made out just barely in the distance. Another island that was _not_ the Dominican Republic. A new island. I held my breath as it came into view. Adrenaline and excitement began to course through my veins.

And then the island came into view completely and it was breathtaking. Gigantic _sakura_ (cherry blossom) trees were all over the island and in full bloom. The enormous trees had silvery trunks and huge, full, bushy heads of pale pink flowers. The petals were like tiny works of arts, mostly pink but with purple hues and red tints to them. A strong wind was blowing scattering cherry blossom petals through the air in a picturesque manner.

Lust had appeared silently at my side. She was no longer a prisoner. Somehow she knew what I was feeling. She smiled and put a hand on my arm. "Incredible isn't it? _Sakura Jima_ ...is so different from the desolate the Dominican Republic, which is all you know. _Sakura Jima_ is lush and fertile. And the people here are disciplined, intelligent and happy. They're hard workers. One of their favorite sayings is _Ganbatte_ or 'do your best'. These people have dreams and work hard to make them come true. On _Sakura Jima_ there is order, justice, and peace." Lust was saying before she leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Or is that just a beautiful illusion that they've created?" Lust pulled back and spoke normally once more. "So you finally get to set foot on another island, Machete. What do you expect? To be enlightened? To find happiness here?

" _Sakura Jima_ is only one island out of thousands that exist in the Seven Seas. The world is a vast place. Does a person's happiness truly lie beyond the horizon? Or elsewhere? When I became Captain Lust I traveled the Seven Seas...I've seen the entire world but I have yet to find happiness. I've had gold, a ship of my own, handsome men, power...but so what? I still feel empty inside." Lust declared before she walked away and before I could respond to her. Though I don't think I would have been able to think of anything intelligent to say to her anyways. What she was talking about was a little too deep for me.

I was a simple man. Give me some meat, rum, a pretty girl, and I was happy. I wouldn't let Lust rain on my parade. I was incredibly excited about finally getting to set foot on another island. Maybe I'd fall in love with an exotic, Asian girl and stay on _Sakura Jima_ forever. " _Sakura Jima_! Whoo! Here I come! Yea!" I cried loudly.

My happiness and excitement seemed contagious and soon most of the crew was smiling along with me, all but Lust and Onigiri. Kill joys.

The crew and I soon arrived at _Sakura Jima_. Onigiri directed us to a hidden cove where the ocean was calmer and where we could anchor the _Wandering Wolf_ without incident. After we had dropped anchor, we lowered the longboat, and made our way to shore. While still inside the longboat I watched as Onigiri took out a black scarf, which he wrapped around his face like a mask leaving only his eyes visible. He then took out another black scarf and wrapped this one around Rosie's face next. The baby's ruby red eyes were just barely visible. I was dying of curiosity and wanted to ask Onigiri why he had done that but I decided it would be rude of me to ask and so kept my mouth firmly shut. Once we were on shore we immediately began following Onigiri as he made his way into the _sakura_ forest.

"Uh..." I scratched the side of my cheek. "Where are we going exactly?" I asked the stoic _samurai_.

"To meet with the Blacksmith Muramasa." Onigiri informed me. "It would be better if we avoided the village entirely."

"Googoo gaagaaa!" Rosie added.

My stomach grumbled loudly. "Aw man, do we have to?" I whined. "I wouldn't mind going to a local tavern or restaurant. I'm starved! I want some meat!"

Santiago shook his head at me. "You just ate! And you're still hungry?! You're always hungry! What is your stomach? A bottomless pit?"

Onigiri nodded in agreement. "Because of you we will need to send someone into the village before we go in order to get supplies. You've eaten everything onboard the _Wandering Wolf_ already."

"And you said you didn't even like fish." Santiago glared at me. I ignored him.

Moreno and Amano shared a sympathetic look with Onigiri. Those two had always had a hard time keeping me away from their pantries and iceboxes back at the Dominican Republic.

"I feel your pain, _mi amigo_." Moreno said placing his hand on Onigiri's shoulder. "That guy used to eat me out of house and home!"

Amano was looking up ahead with a dreamy look on his face. "I heard that _samurai_ are quite handsome..."

Anemone and Lust looked intrigued. "Oh?" Anemone asked.

"Yes...I also heard that they're naturally hairless." Amano informed the two girls who were leaning in conspiratorially for more information. Anemone blushed brightly at Amano's comment while Lust merely raised an eyebrow at Amano appearing amused.

Lust looked over at me and gave me an assessing look. "Apparently there are some _dominican_ men who are naturally hairless too."

I stumbled forward and almost ran into a tree at her words. "Lust!"

But Amano was shaking his head at Lust. "Machete is not naturally hairless, Lust. He just does the _Europea_."

"The what?" Anemone asked curiously.

"Ahhh!" I burst out in objection. The ' _Europea_ ' was just a word my friends and I came up with for shaving off our pubic hair since apparently women found that to be more desirable and attractive. And as a Sanky Panky, a man trying to seduce pretty, rich _gringas_ and scam them out of their money, or perhaps scam them into a marriage – doing the _Europea_ was a must.

" _Europea_! _Europea_! _Europea_!" Don Juan chanted from his perch on my shoulder.

"I just did the _Europea_." Moreno informed us and winked at the girls. "I'm as smooth as a baby's bottom and-"

I slapped my hand over Moreno's mouth before he could say more. "Will you shut up!" I gave the girls an apologetic look and began to laugh nervously. Lust just began to laugh at me while Anemone was still giving us boys a confused look. It was better if she just stayed in the dark about all this.

We were passing through the _sakura_ tress when we spotted a Wanted Poster nailed to one of the tree's trunks. Onigiri ripped the poster off the tree and handed it to me. "This is why we must avoid the village at all costs." He said simply.

I looked down at the Wanted Poster in my hand. It had an ink portrait of a _samurai_ who unmistakeably looked just like Onigiri on it, complete with the large scar that went horizontally over the center of the bridge of his nose. The poster read:

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

(picture)

ROGUE SAMURAI

ONIGIRI

500 pieces-of-eight

It was definitely a Wanted Poster for Onigiri. "You have your own Wanted Poster, _amigo_! And there's even a bounty on your head?! Five hundred pieces-of-eight?! Unreal. _So_ not fair. Can I turn you in?" I joked.

Onigiri's poster had also impressed Moreno. " _Tremendo, hermano!_ Awesome, bro!"

Onigiri glared at the two of us icily. "It's nothing to be proud of, you _bakas_ , fools."

"Onigiri...what made you turn rogue?" I asked boldly. "Was it because of a woman? It's always because of a woman..."

Onigiri gave me a hard stare and remained silent. Rosie giggled sensing his bloodlust probably. "Hehehehehe!"

A vampire child...and a stoic _samurai_. I wondered what their connection was. I was dying to know.

We looked ahead of us into the grove of cherry blossom trees that was straight ahead and noticed that all of the trees had Wanted Posters on them and that all of them had Onigiri's unmistakable scarred face. Apparently, Onigiri was pretty popular here.

Onigiri pulled his scarf up to make sure the scar across his nose was hidden. "Let us continue on our way...quickly."

I noticed a Wanted Poster of Lust next. I pulled it off the _sakura_ tree and gawked at it in disbelief. In the poster she had been drawn wearing a long-sleeved blouse, an under bust corset that had lots of straps and buckles, a pirate jacket, a pirate hat with a curled plume and I noticed a cutlass strapped to her waist. She appeared to be blowing a kiss at whoever had been doing the sketch of her. She looked freakin hot in the poster! It read:

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

(picture)

SIREN WITCH

SEVEN DEADLY PIRATE

CAPTAIN LUST

500 pieces-of-eight

"Hey...looking fine!" I told Lust as I showed her the poster.

Lust's eyes widened when she caught sight of the poster. "Oh my God! Give me that!" She demanded reaching for the poster.

I pulled it out of her grasp and shook my head at her. "Uh uh, no way. I'm keeping this baby." I planned to use it later for 'recreational purposes'.

Lust growled and gnashed her teeth together. "That doesn't even look anything like me! And I never thought that artist I slept with would use that sketch he did of me to give to the Sea Forces so that they could make a Wanted Poster out of it! That sly scallywag!"

"Artist?" I raised my eyebrow at Lust. Ah, so she had slept with some artist. I felt jealousy swirl within me. "Well, he must have liked you a lot to make you look so pretty in the sketch. He got your breasts just the right size too. Grapefruits."

Lust gave me a look of pure disbelief.

"But I have to say that your bounty is way too low. I would be willing to pay at least nine hundred pieces-of-eight for you."

Lust blushed. "Perverted Sanky Panky!"

"Hey look, there's a Wanted Poster for Sloth too!" Moreno declared pointing one out. I ripped it off of the tree and looked at it. Sure enough there was an ink drawing of Captain Sloth though he appeared a bit younger in the poster since there was no gray in his bushy black beard. I was surprised that Sloth looked pretty ferocious in the poster. It read:

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

(picture)

SEVEN DEADLY PIRATE

CAPTAIN SLOTH

400 pieces-of-eight

"Four hundred pieces-of-eight?" I said aloud. "That's it?"

Sloth narrowed his eyes at me dangerously. "Those Sea Forces bastards have clearly underestimated me. I shall go to their base and kill them all after we finish this quest. Maybe then they'll raise my bounty to a more appropriate sum."

We continued making our way through the _sakura_ forest without incident. I watched as Santiago was helping Anemone step over fallen branches and rocks by holding her hand in a gallant gesture. I shook my head at his gentlemanly behavior. _Estúpido caballero_. _Stupid Romeo_. I thought to myself kind of pissed that I wasn't the one getting to help Anemone through the forest. If she had asked for my help I would have helped her. Anemone was blushing and looking quite cute as my brother helped her through the forest. But I couldn't help but notice that she walked rather unsteadily. I frowned, wondering if a mermaid was used to walking on land at all. It must have been hard for her...

There was something innocent and pure about Anemone. She was so different from Lust. Anemone also had this spunky, untamed personality like the sea, or mother nature.

I was so distracted by Anemone that I accidentally bumped into Lust from behind, who had been walking confidently ahead of me on her own.

"Ah!" Lust began to stumble forward but-

I easily reached out and caught her in my arms.

"Blimey, I've got you. Are you alright, _Señora_ Lust?" I asked as I daringly tightened my arms around her waist from behind. My Motto: Always take advantage of the situation.

Lust blushed scarlet. I saw the tips of her ears turn red. _Too cute!_ Her reactions to my closeness were almost impossible to hide because of her extremely pale skin. But she quickly jerked out of my grasp and spun around to slap me hard across the face with a _whack!_ "Unhand me this instant, you filthy _dominican_." She glared back at me hatefully, her silver eyes glimmering like stars.

I just blinked back at her in surprise and looked down at my hands. Did my touch really disgust her that much? Is that why she wouldn't let me touch her during sex? Was I really just a filthy _dominican_ in her eyes? A sad look crossed my face.

"Hmph!" Lust said spinning around and stomping off. I don't think she noticed my look. "I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help."

I stared after her sadly and that's when Anemone perceptively noticed my morose expression. She gave me a sympathetic look in return and a small, timid smile that clearly said 'don't worry about it'.

Amano pretended to trip next to me, falling over nothing. " _Ahhh~_ Machete, I'm falling! Help! Catch me!"

I sighed as I ignored Amano's antics and continued on ahead. I was feeling grouchy and put my hands in my pockets in a sullen manner. I heard the _thud_ of Amano falling on the ground behind me, face first.

"Ow..." Amano groaned from his prone position on the forest floor.

Moreno walked over to Amano and held his hand out to him, while shaking his head. "Fool...he's not in the mood for games right now. Something's bothering him. He's actually brooding like a girl. I've never seen him do that before. It's weird." Amano put his hand in Moreno's and let his friend help him up.

Amano looked after the Ice Queen Lust. "I have a feeling I know what's making Machete all messed up." Amano pouted.

I looked behind me and noticed Santiago and Anemone both holding hands and walking forward through the forest. I blinked. They kind of looked like a family. A happy family. I was surprised that this sight affected me and that I felt left out.

Sloth was walking through the forest at a very casual pace with Dulce and Corazón on either arm. Dulce was holding an umbrella over Sloth's head while Corazón was fanning him with a wood and hand painted silk Spanish fan.

I shook my head at the perverted old man and clenched my fists at my side. The way Sloth treated Dulce and Corazón was beginning to grate on my nerves. He would not only boss the girls around but he also told them what to wear. Sloth had fun dressing the girls up in the shortest skirts imaginable that made me wonder where the rest of the skirt went. He dressed them in tops that were more like sequined bras with colored beads and feathers on them. He also made them wear five-inch heels at all times despite the occasion, like right then as we were trekking through the forest. It couldn't have been easy on those poor girls, fellow _dominicans_.

" _Señor_." Dulce whined. " _Necesitamos más dinero para que podamos ir de compras en el municipio_. We need more money so that we can go shopping in the village later."

" _Cuarto!_ _Cuarto! Cuarto!_ " Don Juan demanded repeating the _dominican_ slang word for money.

" _Si, nos dan más cuarto_. Give us more money." Corazón agreed and held out her hand.

Sloth's eye twitched and he was forced to reach into his jacket and pull out a few pieces-of-eight which he handed over to Dulce and Corazón.

The girls smiled and bowed in thanks. " _Muchas gracias, señor!_ "

I snorted and tried to hold back a laugh and then wondered why I was trying to hold back my laughter to begin with, and broke out laughing loudly instead. Ah, sweet justice.

Sloth sent me a fierce glare in response.

We soon reached a clearing within the _sakura_ forest and caught sight of the blacksmith's house, or rather what was left of it. The house looked as if it had been literally blown away by a tornado or something. The house and pieces of the forge (place where metal is worked by heating and hammering) were scattered everywhere.

Onigiri stopped at the entrance of the clearing and eyed the ruins of the blacksmith's house and forge in shock.

"What the hell happened here? A hurricane?" I asked aloud.

Abruptly, Anemone walked forward as if in a daze and leaned over to inspect the ruins of the house. She reached out and ran her hand over a piece of fallen wood slowly, a thoughtful look on her face. "No...not a hurricane...or tornado...this damage was done by a _tsunami_ ...this damage was done by water..." She declared.

"A _tsunami_?" I asked, incredulous. "There's no way the water could have reached here. That's impossible..."

Santiago pushed his spectacles up his nose, a theory forming in his mind. "After Captain Tiburón made Blacksmith Muramasa forge his magical sword it appears he wanted to try out his new sword and did this. This is without a doubt the work of the Water Sword."

" _Tsujigiri_ ..." Onigiri muttered darkly to himself as a frown formed on his face.

" _Tsujigiri_?" I asked.

"The random killing of a passerby in order to try out a new sword." Onigiri informed me.

I gave Onigiri an incredulous look. "Why would someone do something like that? That's barbaric."

"A _katana_ ( _samurai_ sword) must be tried out because if it is to work properly it has to be able to slice through someone with a single blow, from the shoulder to the opposite flank. Otherwise, the _samurai_ has failed in his stroke. This would injure his honor, offend his ancestors, and let down the Elders. So tests are needed, and wayfarers are expendable. Although a _samurai_ will never test his sword against a fellow _samurai_." Onigiri explained this strange _samurai_ phenomenon.

Anemone looked stricken at the thought of _Tsujigiri_. "That's horrible. I hope no one was inside when Captain Tiburón tested out the Water Sword..."

I clenched my fists at my sides. "Captain Tiburón..." Sebastian had done this? He really had changed. The roof had completely fallen in and half of the house was buried in rubble.

Onigiri had not moved since he had entered the clearing and appeared to be frozen in place.

"Only one way to find out..." I declared. I stalked over to the largest piece of fallen roof debris and grabbed a hold of it with my two hands. "Arrrr!" I yelled as I gathered my strength and lifted up the piece of roof and tossed it aside. I then began to sift through the rest of the rubble searching for any sign of dead bodies...

I noticed Onigiri holding his breath.

I cleared the rest of the rubble and debris but I found nothing. I turned around to grin at Onigiri happily. "Looks like Blacksmith Muramasa is still alive!"

Onigiri's hard expression softened and he gave me a relieved look. "It would appear so. I suppose we have no choice but to go into the village and discover his current whereabouts."

"Alright! Yes!" I punched the air enthusiastically. "Meat! Meat! Meat!"

"Alright! Yes!" Moreno mimicked my move. "Girls! Girls! Girls!"

Amano looked around shyly before he punched the air once. "Hot Asian guys, here I come!"

Anemone whacked me over the back of my head. "Idiot!"

"Ow..." I rubbed the back of my head but was smiling and grinning at her like a complete idiot anyways. There was something familiar about Anemone. I noticed that we oddly got along easily. I wondered if this was what it would have been like to have a sister.

Lust rolled her eyes at us. "Oh brother..."

The crew and I headed cautiously to _sakura_ village with Onigiri leading the way. Night had fallen. _Sakura_ Village was small and quaint, with one main dirt road. Asian-styled buildings were on either side of the street with sloping, red tiled roofs. Red paper lanterns hung from the eaves of the roofs over the houses' porches. Candles were lit inside of the lanterns shedding a golden glow upon our surroundings. I thought it was pleasant.

Lust looked at the village suspiciously. "There's something sinister about this place..."

"Oh please, this place seems super peaceful to me." I countered. "And the people look harmless..." I said pointing them out.

Milling on the street and sitting on porches were the inhabitants of _Sakura Jima_. The women of _Sakura Jima_ were beautiful and petite with oval-shaped faces, porcelain white skin, thick black hair, small, pert breasts, and tiny feet that were in _zori_ sandals. The women were all dressed in vibrant, cheerfully colored, silk _kimono_ that had flower patterns on them: cherry blossoms, plum blossoms, chrysanthemums, maple leaves and the like. Their _kimono_ appeared to have been inspired by nature. These people seemed to have maintained their connection with nature. All of the women had fresh sprigs of cherry blossoms in their hair.

The Asian men were dressed in long, black _kimono_ , or had on _haori_ (wrap shirts) with _hakama_ (split pants). They had lithe, lean, muscular bodies that looked ready for combat and olive colored skin. There wasn't an ounce of fat on their bones. They were like well-honed weapons or...like a sharpened _katana_ , ready for battle. These were men that I wouldn't be picking a fight with anytime soon. The _samurai_ had their hair in topknots and all wore similar stern and stoic expressions. They also all wore two swords, a _katana_ and a smaller version of the _katana_ that was called a _wakizashi_ strapped to their waists.

I noticed that there were also female _samurai_ who were dressed in short, black _kimono_ dresses and with _naginata_ (a long spear-like weapon with a curved blade on the end) in their hands. The _samurai_ and female _samurai_ appeared to be patrolling the main street and were probably also upholding the law. In such a peaceful looking village I wondered if this was even really necessary. What did these _samurai_ think they were protecting the village from exactly? I wondered.

Outwardly Sakura Village seemed calm and peaceful, but the patrolling _samurai_ seemed on edge, and ready for battle. It put me on guard. I saw a blacksmith in his workplace making a new _katana_. Various deadly looking weapons hung from the eaves of his workplace's roof: _katana_ , _naginata_ , _tong fa_ , _nunchaku_ , _shuriken_ , _kunai_ , silver crosses, long silver stakes, and I also noticed that there were several open barrels full of silver bullets.

... _crosses and silver stakes_ ...I shook my head. What the hell did that mean?

It was like the village was holding its breath. Waiting for something. This peaceful serenity reminded me of the calm before a storm. It's hard to explain but there was this underlying tension about the peaceful village. These strange undercurrents caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. I knew that these _samurai_ men and women were ready for battle at the drop of a piece-of-eight.

Maybe Lust was right. Maybe this peaceful village _was_ nothing but an illusion. Lust had been here before. What secrets did she know that Sakura Village held? If this village did have any secrets I was sure Lust knew what they were. I decided to ask Lust about this later.

My eyes were drawn next to a group of interesting looking women, who had their faces painted white, their eyes lined in black and their lips painted red. Their hair had been styled into elaborate topknots and decorated with beautiful hair combs and golden hairpins and chopsticks. They were wearing red and black _kimonos_.

Moreno had caught sight of these women too and immediately became excited. " _Ooo~_ beautiful Asian _princessas_! Can I go talk to them?" Moreno asked me. "Please?"

My curiosity had gotten the better of me and I turned to ask Onigiri about the lovely _señoritas_. "Onigiri. Who are those women with the painted faces?"

"Are they prostitutes?" Moreno added.

"Moreno!" I growled.

"NO!" Onigiri burst out and glared at us. " _Baka gaijin_! Dumb foreigners! Those women are _not_ prostitutes. They are _geisha_. _Geisha_ are entertainers. They can sing, dance, and they serve tea in an elegant manner to their clients at Tea Houses where they entertain men. They are like celebrities here."

"They entertain men?" Sloth drawled, his blue eyes glittering with mischief. "Sounds like a whore to me. What makes them so different from Dulce and Corazón?"

Onigiri spun around to glare at Sloth, a hand on the hilt of his sword. " _Gaijin_ always misunderstand! Unlike you people us _samurai_ have something called sexual restraint. Not everything is about sex! _Geisha_ are not prostitutes. They are entertainers. They do not sleep with their clients."

I put a hand on Onigiri's shoulder to calm him down. "Whoa. Sorry, _mi amigo_ , we get it. No offense meant. We're just dumb foreigners, like you said."

Moreno looked put out.

As I watched two _geisha_ passing us by I couldn't help but think that they resembled fragile, little, porcelain dolls. If I so much as touched them – they were sure to break. It put me on edge and I tried to avoid them.

Lust was looking at their _kimono_ enviously and then she spotted a _kimono_ store. She grabbed Anemone and Amano's arms before turning to address the crew and I. "You guys go on ahead to your smelly tavern while us girls do a little _kimono_ shopping. It will be more convenient if we can blend in with the people here."

Anemone was giving Lust a worried look as she struggled in Lust's tight grasp. She tried to pull her arm away but to no avail. Lust was just too strong compared to her. "Hey! Who says I want a _kimono_?!"

Amano was looking strangely pleased that he had been included in the group as a girl and was merely grinning goofily from ear to ear. "Us girls...hehehehe..."

Lust critically looked Anemone up and down taking in the clothes she had borrowed from Santiago – an orange, high collared, Asian-styled shirt with a pair of orange pants as well as a pair of _zori_ sandles. Lust arched an eyebrow at the mermaid and shrugged. "Fine, don't come. That is, if you're happy dressing like a prepubescent monk, Miss Mermaid." Lust drawled.

Anemone just gawked back at Lust in shock, her mouth gaping like a fish, opening and closing. She clenched her teeth and growled low in her throat. "Fine! Let's go!" Anemone grabbed Amano's arm and began to drag him towards the _kimono_ store.

Sloth slapped Dulce and Corazón on their backsides and pushed them forward. "You girls go _kimono_ shopping too!"

" _Si señor!_ " They chimed and followed after Lust.

I called after them worriedly. "Oi! Wait! Where the hell do you girls think you're going?! It's dangerous to go off on your own like that! And you don't even have any money!" I was about to go after them but I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me from behind.

"No money?" Lust turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. She then opened her jacket to reveal that there were several bags of coins strapped to the inside of her jacket. "I'm a pirate captain remember. I'm loaded. I'm a pretty, rich _gringa_ ...isn't that why you set your sights on me Sanky Panky Pirate." That said Lust sashayed off.

I turned to see my brother, who shook his head at me and took his hand off my shoulder. "Let them go, they'll be just fine. They have Amano with them. He may be dressed like a girl but he can throw a punch just like a guy. And a tavern's no place for a lady anyways."

"What ladies?" I scoffed, "Couple of strange wenches we've landed ourselves with, I'd say!"

Santiago chuckled in response.

Onigiri was nodding his head. "Santiago is right. It's safer for the girls not to come with us. Things could get dangerous. Let us continue on our way."

I was eyeing the silver crosses curiously and turned to ask Onigiri about them. "Oi, Onigiri what's up with-"

But Onigiri had stopped in the middle of the road abruptly causing me to run right into him.

Onigiri pointed ahead at a tavern. It was a seedy looking place but looked packed. Above the door hung a sign of what looked like some kind of monster - a creature with black fur, horns, and glowing red eyes. In _kanji_ letters and written on the tavern's sign in red was the name of the tavern, but I didn't know how to read _kanji_ and so asked Onigiri. "What's it say?"

" _Bakemono_ Tavern...Monster Tavern...that's the tavern we want to go to. There we'll ask about the whereabouts of Muramasa. Bartender Daigo is sure to know. He hears everything about everything that happens in this village. Come on." Onigiri lowered his scarf over his eyes even more and I wondered how he was even able to see. Rosie grew strangely silent as they approached the tavern as if she could sense Onigiri's unease.

We followed Onigiri inside of _Bakemono_ Tavern. The underlying currents that existed within the village were even more prevalent here. The air felt thick, heavy with this palpable tension that was coming from all of the men who were seated in the tavern. I looked around and realized something: there were only _samurai_ and female _samurai_ inside of this tavern, and they all had _katana_ strapped to their waists. These men and women were not harmless farmers or shop owners. I could tell. No...they were lounging lions. Warriors. Beasts. Like me.

They all had matching feral looks in their eyes. The eyes of someone who has seen blood splatter through the air.

Some of the _samurai_ were smoking opium and the air inside of the tavern was thick with smoke. There was very dim lighting too. I looked around the tavern curiously eyeing its décor – there was a large assortment of trophy heads on the walls, but not of the usual stuffed animals heads, but just the skulls of...what I at first thought were normal animals. But the closer I looked at the animal skulls I realized they were _not_ normal skulls. The skulls looked like animal skulls but these skulls also had strange horns coming out of their heads, abnormally long fangs, and third eye sockets. I swallowed. They were the skulls of monsters...demons...or _yokai_ ...

I spotted what appeared to be a human skull next and the blood chilled in my veins before I noticed the pointed incisors. It was a vampire's skull.

Rosie.

No wonder Onigiri had been wary about coming back to Sakura Village. I really owed him one for being our guide in this place.

Onigiri led the way to the bar that was in the back of the establishment and we all took a seat on the tall barstools. The Bartender Daigo was a serious looking, middle-aged, Asian man with a thin mustache, who was wearing a long, black _kimono_ and who was currently wiping a glass.

Daigo gave our rag-tag pirate crew a curious look. " _Gaijin_ ...outsiders..." He said before eyeing Onigiri and probably noticing Onigiri's slanted Asian eyes. "Or perhaps not. What will it be?"

" _Sake_." Onigiri replied gruffly.

Daigo nodded. "Of course, right away, sir." Daigo took out five _sake_ cups and a large bottle of _sake_ (rice wine). He poured the five cups of _sake_ before setting them down in front of us.

Onigiri picked up his small porcelain _sake_ cup, there was a single cherry blossom petal floating in it, I noticed, before one-handed Onigiri tipped the _sake_ cup to his mouth and downed the _sake_ in one gulp.

I had never tried ' _sake_ ' before but followed Onigiri's example and downed my cup of _sake_ in one gulp. It burned pleasantly down my throat. It was strong stuff and I decided that I liked it.

Santiago followed suit and started coughing and choking. I snorted. "Light weight..."

Sloth was already getting the bartender to pour him another cup. Moreno was like me and could handle his liquor having grown up drinking more rum than water back at the Dominican Republic. He drank his cup of _sake_ and nodded. "It's good."

"So what brings you here, traveler?" Daigo asked Onigiri.

"I'm looking for someone." Onigiri said simply.

Daigo looked interested. "Is that so? There's another foreigner who recently came here and who was asking some dangerous questions. He's also looking for someone. I wonder if you're both looking for the same person."

Onigiri looked interested. "A foreigner? Who?"

Daigo nodded to one of the tables-

I turned around to see where Daigo had nodded and I wondered how I had missed the man who now seemed to stick out like a sore thumb amongst the _samurai_ since he was a definite _gaijin_.

The _gaijin_ was seated at a table with three other _samurai_ playing _Mahjong_ , a Chinese game consisting of one hundred and forty-four tiles. The man was oddly enough dressed in an all white priest outfit. He had a priest's collar around his neck and I noticed that he was wearing a large silver cross hanging from a thick chain around his neck. He had a pair of white gloves on his hands that had silver crosses embroidered on them. The man had handsome, chiseled features, a long, European nose, thin lips, startling blue eyes and shoulder length, wavy, blonde hair. It's hard to describe this man and not sound gay. One would think he must have looked effeminate but it was just the opposite.

This man had a skilled warrior's aura too. The _samurai_ that surrounded the priest might have been lions but this man was a tiger in their midst.

He had some kind of long object strapped to his back and that was wrapped in a white cloth. This object oddly resembled a gigantic cross. I wondered if it was some kind of weapon but...decided it would be strange for a priest of all things to have a weapon like that. _Is he a traveling priest? What is he doing here?_

"Oh no..." Moreno moaned as he caught sight of all the crosses the man was wearing, "I hope he's not a Jehovah's Witness? Can I go hide somewhere?"

"Who was the foreigner searching for?" Onigiri asked in a low voice, leaning forward.

"Death." Daigo stated before shaking his head and giving the _gaijin_ a pitying look. "And so who are you searching for, young man?"

"Muramasa." Onigiri was not one to beat around the bush.

Daigo's eyes widened. "Ah, old man Muramasa? He's not that hard to find. Just travel up the western slope of Mount Fuji and look for smoke. That will lead you to his new house and forge."

"Do you know what happened to his old house?" Onigiri asked conversationally while trying to appear neutrally interested, but as he asked I saw his grip tighten around his _sake_ cup. This was a personal question, I realized.

"Indeed, I'll tell you what happened to it. It must have been about a month ago when Captain Tiburón and the crew of the _Green Leviathan_ stopped at our isle. Captain Tiburón had just managed to defeat the Shark Beast God Genbu and so was in the possession of a gigantic shark tooth...

"He took the shark tooth to Muramasa and demanded that he forge him a magical sword out of the tooth. Muramasa refused. But Captain Tiburón took his daughter hostage and Muramasa was forced to comply with Tiburón's request. And so he forged Tiburón the sword that has the power to control the element of water: The Water Sword. However, Tiburón decided to try out his new sword on Muramasa's house." Daigo finished.

"That ungrateful bastard!" I said pounding my fist down on top of the bar loudly.

Then I heard a soft _crack_. I turned to look besides me and realized Onigiri had gripped his _sake_ cup so hard that it had shattered in his hand. Shards of porcelain were cutting into the palm of his hand and blood was dripping down onto the bar counter. Onigiri hadn't even realized what he had done yet.

" _Estas bien, mi amigo?_ Onigiri, are you okay, man?" I asked and realized my mistake as the bartender's eyes went wide like saucers-

"Oni-" He was saying when-

In the blink of an eye Onigiri had his sword to the bartender's throat. "I wouldn't finish speaking if I were you, Daigo."

The bartender swallowed. "Shit...why did you come back? Are you crazy? They'll have your head-"

"And probably mount it on the wall here, creepy _samurai_ bastards." Moreno put in.

"Business." Onigiri said before sheathing his sword in one fluid and elegant motion. He was apparently convinced that Daigo would keep his mouth shut after that display. I know I would have.

"I see..." Daigo rubbed his neck self-consciously, "Muramasa and Hotaru are fine. So you should leave here immediately. The Elders will-" However-

Onigiri's hand looked pretty bad since it was bleeding all over the bar counter. It really needed to be looked at. " _Amigo_ ...let me see your hand."

"It's nothing." Onigiri objected. "Just a scratch."

"Come on." I insisted and grabbed Onigiri's wrist.

"I _said_ it's nothing!" Onigiri yanked his injured hand away from me in such a way that blood went splattering through the air-

And landed directly across the front of the priest's outfit.

Onigiri immediately stood up and made his way over to the table in order to apologize to the priest. " _Gomen nasai_ , I'm very sorry, Priest- _sama_. Allow me to help you clean the blood off-" Onigiri picked up a napkin and reached out towards the priest's chest.

"No! Stay back!" The priest shouted, his head lowered, his bangs shielding his eyes as he pushed Onigiri away from him with his one arm. The priest was clenching his fists upon the tabletop and looked like he was trying to get himself under control. Then the priest looked up-

And I could see that his face had changed - his eyes had turned red and his incisors had lengthened. The 'priest' was a vampire.

The three _samurai_ who had been seated with the priest at the table immediately recognized the telltale signs of a vampire in their midst. They all abruptly stood up and drew their swords to point them at the priest. " _Kyuuketsuki!_ Vampire!" They shouted loudly to alert the others.

The priest sighed and gave the _samurai_ a chagrined look. He put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Damn...you've found me out. I suppose it wouldn't make any difference if I said I don't drink human blood and only animal blood? No, I didn't think so." The priest said as the _samurai_ began to approach him with their swords. "Damn, and I was counting on all of you to help me hunt HIM. How regretful." The priest scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Surrender yourself and come quietly _Kyuuketsuki_. We will take you to the Elders so that they can pass judgment upon you." The _samurai_ said.

The priest raised an eyebrow at the _samurai_. "The Elders? Bunch of bloodthirsty geezers...I know exactly what they'll say – off with his head!" The priest looked around the tavern as if assessing the situation, counting potential enemies, and sizing up his opponents. It was something that I often did before I got into a street fight or bar brawl.

And then our eyes met.

I couldn't help but give the vampire an apologetic look. It was my fault that he was discovered. I knew vampires were supposed to be 'evil' and all that jazz but...my gut told me this man wasn't evil. And I always trusted my gut instincts.

The Vampire Priest gave me a surprised look in return before returning his attention back to the three _samurai_. The other _samurai_ that were in the tavern were already standing up from their tables and drawing their _katana_ as well.

Suddenly, all those peaceful men were on the hunt.

And then the Vampire Priest made his move. He reached his hands into the inside of his white priest jacket and pulled out two twin pistols. The pistols were about twice the size of an average pistol and had silver decorations on the sides of the guns though his guns appeared more modern than most of the flintlock pistols I had seen. He raised and aimed the pistols at the _samurai_ and fired in one fluid motion. The air rang with the sound of his consecutive shots – _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Three shots were fired at the three _samurai_ in front of him and they were immediately disarmed of their swords. His pistols had fired more than one shot each. Now this was unheard of. Flintlock pistols could only fire one shot before they would need to be reloaded. Apparently, the Vampire Priest's pistols were special. I wondered just how many shots his custom made pistols could fire!

The other _samurai_ moved in for the kill next. The Vampire Priest raised and fired his guns again, and more consecutive shots were fired. _Samurai_ were being disarmed left and right. I watched in amazement as I saw the bullets hit the hilt of the _katana_ and watched how the swords spun into the air and away from the _samurai_ as a result.

"Blimey! Cool..." I murmured. I was impressed.

"Hooryahhhh!" One _samurai_ issued a battle cry as he charged the priest with his sword raised high over his head and brought his sword down upon the Vampire Priest in a fierce downwards slash-

The Vampire Priest crossed his twin pistols and blocked the attack. As the metal of the guns and the metal of the _katana_ clashed and grated against each other sparks flew into the air.

The Vampire Priest leapt backwards and shot the _samurai_ in his thigh. Blood gushed out of the wound onto the _samurai_ 's thigh.

I watched as the Vampire Priest's pupils narrowed to slits and his face became more feral looking, his expression more hungry, more beastlike.

"Shit..." The Vampire Priest put his face in his hand and again I noticed that he appeared to be trying to control himself. Being a vampire it was a given that he'd be affected by the sight and smell of blood. But it appeared to me that he was trying not to act on his own instincts as a vampire. My eyes widened in realization. He didn't want to hurt anyone or kill anyone. In fact, I realized that the Vampire Priest hadn't killed any of the _samurai_ yet, just disarmed them with those killer twin pistols of his.

I suddenly remembered a Wanted Poster I had seen back in the _sakura_ forest just as we were leaving and which had read:

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

(PIC)

MASTER GUNNER

PERCIVIOUS

750 pieces-of-eight

But I remembered that the poster had a drawing of a man dressed in full medieval armor like a knight. He definitely hadn't been dressed as a priest. But the knight in the picture had been wielding a gigantic, medieval broadsword which now that I thought about it was about the same size and shape as that object strapped to this Vampire Priest's back. _That cross he has strapped to his back...might actually be a gigantic sword._ _Holy...!_ I thought.

A Vampire Priest...a Master Gunner...or a Knight? I wondered what Percivious' true identity really was, but there was one thing I knew for sure. We needed a Gunner for our crew! I immediately decided I wanted Percivious for the crew of the _Wandering Wolf_.

Percivious looked around the tavern frantically and saw the _samurai_ approaching him, swords raised. Blood was still gushing out onto the floor from the _samurai_ 's wound. Percivious was about to lose it. He needed to get out of there, quickly, his eyes darted to the exit.

I watched as Percivious tried to make his escape. He fired his twin pistols at _samurai_ as he passed them and disarmed them before kicking the door open and rushed out into the main road. The _samurai_ followed in hot pursuit and surrounded Percivious in a circle.

Santiago, Moreno, Sloth and Onigiri ran after me as I abruptly decided to run outside after Percivious to see what would happen.

"Oi! Machete!" My bro called after me worriedly. "Where the hell do you think you're going? Idiot!"

" _Baka! Baka! Baka!_ " Don Juan said loudly as he flew after us.

The _samurai_ raised their swords simultaneously like programmed automatons and closed in upon Percivious at the same time in an intimidating fashion. The Vampire Priest took a fighting stance, that was more like a martial arts stance than a stance one would take to fire a gun and then the battle began.

It was fifty to one. The Vampire Priest was grossly outnumbered but seemed completely unfazed by this. I was surprised to see that Percivious had this cocky grin on his face. The Vampire Priest shot his twin pistols at the _samurai_ as they attacked him and he used his shots to disarm or only wound his opponents. His movements were like no gunslinger I had ever seen and were more like martial arts moves. He pointed his guns together in one direction, and then was pointing one gun behind him and the other sideways. Fluid deadly motions. Martial arts gun fighting. His combination of defense and offense seemed flawless. The _samurai_ were falling down around him like flies.

"Do unto others as you want them to do unto you." The Vampire Priest said as he crossed himself. "Amen."

I watched as Percivious raised his gun and aimed at the flat blade of one of the _samurai_ 's swords and caused his bullet to ricochet off into the air and take out five _samurai_ at once. It was a very impressive ricochet shot.

"Whoa...he just took out five _samurai_ using one bullet." I felt that more than ever I wanted this guy to be our Master Gunner.

However, once all forty-nine _samurai_ had fallen only a female _samurai_ remained. She approached Percivious with her _naginata_ raised, a steely look in her eyes.

Percivious immediately look chagrinned and pointed his guns at the sky as if in surrender. "I don't fight women. Women are not meant to be warriors. You should find a nice man and settle down and start a family instead, Miss _Samurai_."

The female _samurai_ glared at Percivious heatedly for his sexist comment and eyed her fallen comrades, which made her eyes shine with hatred. But there was also confusion shinning in the dark depths of her eyes. "Why didn't you kill them, monster?"

"Thou shall not kill, remember?" Percivious raised his brows at her.

"A soulless monster like yourself knows the Bible? It is too late to save your soul Vampire. Your soul has already been damned to hell!" The female _samurai_ cried.

"I know." A serious expression crossed Percivious' face. "It's not my soul I'm trying to save. It's...everyone else's."

The female _samurai_ eyes went wide. But then she shook her head. "Lies! Die you monster!" She opened a small bottle of something and splashed it across the Vampire Priest's face.

"Arghhh...shit...!" Percivious exclaimed as he tried to wipe the holy water out of his eyes with his hands. "Holy Water!"

The female _samurai_ smiled grimly before she charged forward. "Now die!" The female _samurai_ lunged her _naginata_ forward and stabbed Percivious in the chest-

"NO!" I yelled out and tried to rush forward.

"Machete no!" Onigiri grabbed my arm and stopped me. "We mustn't get involved! He has nothing to do with us! He's a vampire...he's just an evil, soulless creature. A walking memory of what he once was. We still have our mission...! We can't risk the _samurai_ discovering my identity right now. Rosie...!" He all but pleaded to me.

I went lax in Onigiri's grip. "Shit." He was right. My reckless and selfish behavior would only put Rosie and Onigiri at risk.

Percivious sunk to his knees and the _samurai_ began to stand up again before they surrounded him. The female _samurai_ was about to behead him when she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her. She turned around to see one of her superiors.

"No Sango, he must be taken to the Elders for judgment." Her superior told her.

Sango looked put out but lowered her _naginata_. After his gloves had been stripped off a pair of handcuffs that were made of solid silver were put on Percivious' wrists, and I watched as his flesh burned in response. I cringed, having sympathy pains. _Ow._ That must have hurt.

Onigiri was already dragging us away, however. "Come on...we have to get out of here. Now."

At that moment, Lust and the other girls showed up and spotted us in the middle of all this chaos. "Machete!" Lust called out to me as soon as she spotted me.

The guys and I turned around to see that Lust and the other girls had finished purchasing their _kimonos_ at the shop. My eyes widened at the sight of the girls in their _kimono_ ...

Lust was wearing an all-white _kimono_ with a red _obi_ sash belt tied around her waist. Her hair had been pulled back tightly into a low ponytail and a fresh sprig of cherry blossoms adorned her hair. I noticed as she walked that she still had on her pirate boots. I was also sure that she had her mini flintlock pistol hidden somewhere in that _kimono_. That could be fun to hunt for. Lust looked like some kind of _Yuki Onna_ , Snow Woman, in her _kimono_ – cold, deadly, mysterious.

Anemone looked just the exact opposite – she looked sweet and cute in her _kimono_. She had chosen a dark blue _kimono_ that had the pattern of orange goldfish on it. There was a red _obi_ sash belt tied around her waist. Her orange locks had been styled up into two buns on either side of her head. The buns had been decorated with live cherry blossom sprigs that fanned out on either side of her head. She had a pair of _zori_ sandals on her feet. I watched as she looked over in Santiago's direction with a shy expression on her face. She appeared to be self-conscious about how she looked.

Santiago turned and caught her looking in his direction. Their eyes met and they just stood there and stared at each other while lost in the moment.

"Oh brother..." I shook my head at the two of them.

But then Anemone caught sight of Onigiri and noticed that his hand was bleeding. Her eyes widened out of concern and she rushed over to him. "You're hurt!" She took Onigiri's hand in hers. She frowned before she reached down and tore a piece of material from her beautiful new _kimono_. She then began to wrap the piece of material around Onigiri's hand and tied it tightly. "There you go."

Onigiri was looking at Anemone with wide eyes and had frozen up. I smiled, Anemone had heart. She was so unlike Lust. If only Lust could be a little more like Anemone...I thought.

Dulce and Corazón were also all decked out in matching, short, red and black _kimono_ that had the pattern of red cherry blossoms on the black silk. They wore red _obi_ around their slim waists, and they had _zori_ sandals on their feet. Their hair had been styled into _geisha_ topknots and they had even painted their dark skin white, lined their eyes in black and painted their lips red. Their _kimonos_ were open in front to reveal lots of cleavage in a seductive manner. I bit my tongue to hold back my laugh. Just seeing Dulce and Corazón dressed like that...it was like... _geishas_ gone wild...!

"Whoa...the _señoritas_ clean up nicely." Moreno declared as he eyed the girls. "You all look very _linda_ girls."

" _Lindas señoritas!_ _Lindas señoritas! Lindas señoritas!_ " Don Juan agreed enthusiastically.

Lust looked over and watched as the _samurai_ were arresting the Vampire Priest. As she caught sight of the vampire a look of fear flashed across her face, but it was gone so quickly that I thought I must have imagined it. After all, Lust didn't seem to be afraid of anything or anyone. Lust turned her gaze to the _samurai_ next and gave them a disgusted look. "What did I tell you, Machete? It's not as beautiful here as it at first appears. It's all an illusion. The truth is this place is really ugly. If you are different in any way you are labeled a monster, hunted down and killed. There is no freedom here."

" _No todo lo que brilla es oro._ Not everything that shines is gold." Amano agreed and I looked over at him and nearly fell over when I caught sight of what he was wearing...!

Amano was wearing a flashy, bright pink _kimono_ that had the pattern of roses on it. He was wearing a _red_ obi around his waist. He was also wearing a red choker with a rose on it to hide his Adam's apple. His curly, golden-brown hair had been pulled back into a topknot and several golden chopsticks were poking out of it. He had on a pair of _zori_ sandals that had to be at least five-inches high! Amano had also painted his face white like a _geisha_ , lined his eyes in black and painted his lips red. Amano had added a dramatic beauty mark under his left eye. Lastly, Amano had an open, red, lacquered umbrella in his hand that he was spinning behind him. My eye twitched at my best friend and transvestite...I felt like backing away and pretending I didn't know him just then.

Amano did a little twirl as he caught me staring at him. "How do I look?" Amano asked and blew a kiss my way.

I whipped out my machete and cut through the air kiss. Amano watched as the kiss was sliced in two and a downtrodden expression formed on his face.

"Drag Queen! Drag Queen! Drag Queen!" Don Juan declared.

"Come on, we all need to get out of here! Follow me!" Onigiri directed us to the back alley streets of the village. We made our way stealthily along the streets and alleyways until we arrived at a normal looking building that looked like an inn. Above the door of the inn hung a sign, which had the drawing of a funny looking creature on it. The creature resembled a green turtle with a duck's beak, and a black mullet. The creature also had a strange dish on its head, webbed feet, and a shell on its back. The sign was in _kanji_ so I had to ask Onigiri what the letters meant again.

"What's the sign say?" I asked.

" _Kappa_ Inn. A _kappa_ is a type of water demon." Onigiri informed me.

"A water demon..." Anemone stopped and looked up at the drawing of the _kappa_. It had red eyes and its mouth was open in a kind of roar. The _kappa_ had sharp, menacing looking teeth. Anemone suddenly looked unhappy about something.

Santiago put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Yes..." Anemone began to walk forward and tripped forward in her _zori_ sandals. But Santiago caught her arm to steady her.

Santiago gave Anemone a concerned look. "Are you sure you're alright? Would you like me to carry you inside?"

Anemone blushed fiercely at the suggestion. "Oh no, I'm alright, really. It's just that I'm not used to walking on land yet. And these strange sandals make it even more difficult."

Santiago's expression turned serious. "I see..." He said before he suddenly swooped Anemone up into his arms and carried her into the inn...

"Uwha! Santiago!" Anemone objected. "What are you doing?" Her face was as red as a tomato.

Moreno seemed to get an idea and turned to Lust. "Hey, I'd be happy to carry you inside the inn if you're tired, _mi_ _princessa reina_."

Lust hit Moreno over the head with her hand.

"Ow." Moreno rubbed the back of his head and pouted at Lust as she stalked away.

Lust was already at the front reception desk paying for her and apparently Anemone and Amano's room. "Well, lads, I already paid for a room for us lassies. We have a deluxe suite with our own private hot springs pool. After all, I deserve only the best. If any of you lads try to peep on us while we're bathing...I'll kill you." She declared narrowing her eyes at us.

We all swallowed at her threat. Lust could be really scary when she wanted to be.

"Come Anemone. Amano. Follow me." Lust directed them as she sashayed off while twirling the room key around her index finger.

"Hey, wait a sec, Amano isn't a woman!" Moreno called after them in objection. "That's not fair!"

Anemone and Amano shared a questioning look before they both shrugged and followed after Lust. They pointedly ignored Moreno's objection causing him to go slack-jawed in surprise.

"Goodnight Santiago!" Anemone called behind her.

"Goodnight, fair lady!" Santiago waved after her.

"Fair lady?" I raised an eyebrow at my bro.

"What?" Santiago snapped defensively.

Onigiri silently paid for a room of his own. " _Oyasumi nasai_. Goodnight." He said simply before leaving us behind.

Sloth paid for a room next, and with Dulce and Corazón on his arms he headed for his room looking a little too pleased for my taste. Perverted old man.

That just left Santiago, Moreno and myself to get a room. We all looked at each other before making a mad dash to the reception desk. Neither my brother nor I wanted to share a room with Moreno since he had the tendency to fart all night long. Moreno didn't want to sleep with Santiago because Moreno claimed he snored. Unfortunately, we all arrived at the front reception desk at the same time.

The inn hostess, a kind looking old lady, dressed in a dark blue _kimono_ with a white _obi_ sash belt tied around her waist, and her hair in a conservative bun, raised an eyebrow at us before she held up a single key. "There's only one room left, gentlemen." She explained. "You young men will have to share."

"Awww man!" Santiago and I moaned in despair.

This is how Santiago, Moreno and I ended up sharing a room that night. The building had an architectural design unlike any I had ever encountered before. It had these sliding, wood lattice doors that were covered in paper. I later learned these doors were called _shoji_. The floors weren't floorboards but instead covered in straw mats that I learned later on were called _tatami_. There also weren't normal beds in the room. Although I personally liked to sleep in a hammock. The only beds available were these strange, flat mattresses that were called ' _futons_ ' which the guys and I had to unroll and set next to each other. I looked down at the sleeping arrangement and couldn't help but feel it seemed a little gay to me.

Santiago and I looked at each other before we began to roughhouse while trying to determine who would have to sleep next to Moreno. Finally, after Santiago and I were covered in bruises, and no real winner could be decided upon we decided to stick Moreno in the middle futon. That way Santiago and I would both suffer, which only seemed fair.

The futon was too low to the ground and lumpy. I was having a very hard time falling asleep. _And whatever happened to my meat?_ I suddenly realized, feeling gipped. I was starving, dammit! I put my hands behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. _Maybe I'll get to eat some meat at the Blacksmith's house._ My thoughts then wandered back to Percivious, the Vampire Priest. _Shit..._ I had really wanted to help him back there, but Onigiri had stopped me and I noticed the _sushi_ chef had his hand on that magical sword of his in warning.

Luckily, the Vampire Priest hadn't been killed. Perhaps, the 'Elders' would show Percivious mercy as he had shown the _samurai_ mercy. I just couldn't get my mind around the idea that Percivious was a bad guy.

_Percivious...I'll make him our Master Gunner somehow._ I thought to myself.

I was looking up at the ceiling and wondering how I could save Percivious and then convince him to join our crew when I realized something odd – it was quiet, too quiet, and the air was fresh and clean. I turned to see that Moreno was _not_ in his futon, which could only mean one thing-

He was peeping on the girls!

_Blow me down! Oh, hell no._ I quickly got out of bed and rushed over to the sliding _shoji_ door that exited out upon a back garden that was equipped with a natural hot springs pool. I exited out into the garden and softly slid the _shoji_ door shut behind me. I didn't want the straight-laced Santiago to discover Moreno peeping and have a fit-!

I spotted Moreno crouched down in front of the wooden fence that separated our garden from the private garden the room next to ours had. Since Moreno was trying to peep through the fence I could only assume that the room next to us was Lust's.

"Moreno!" I hissed, crouching low and sneaking over to him. "What the hell do you think you're doing, moron?" I asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Moreno jumped at the sound of my voice. He had been caught red-handed, so to speak. I noted that he had somehow drilled a peephole into the fence and had been peering through it. I looked at the peephole and back at Moreno in sheer disbelief. "Oh no you didn't!"

Moreno gave me a sheepish look. "Come on, Machete, don't tell me you don't want to peek at those sexy, bathing beauties? What pirate crew is lucky enough to have a mermaid _and_ a Siren Witch as part of their crew?! If we didn't peep it'd be like taking God's gifts for granted or something."

_Shit..._ I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to take a quick peek...at the girls' breasts specifically.

And so (I'm not proud to reveal this but...) I did. I crouched down on the ground like a sick pervert and put my eye to that peephole and Mother forgive me, I peeped.

Anemone and Lust were bathing in the natural, hot springs pool together. Their hot springs pool was at least three times as large as ours. Rocks surrounded the pool artistically and I saw steam rising up from its surface. The water looked hot and inviting. I saw a bamboo fountain off to one side and it went _ka-clack_ as it filled with water and then tipped over to hit a rock.

Anemone was in her mermaid form again...her stunning tail visible as she splashed it up and down in the water playfully. She looked very happy and truly in her element. Her expression was one of pure bliss. Her tail had a myriad of colors on it giving it a shimmering effect: blues, greens, teal, and even pink. Her coppery colored hair hung down over her body and just barely hid the nipples of her large, bare breasts.

The mermaid Anemone was an otherworldly being. She reminded me of those precious moments in nature which are fleeting and you know won't last forever like: seeing a shooting star, watching the sun set dying the clouds orange and pink, catching sight of a humming bird land for a split second before it takes off again at rapid speed, a sudden rainbow forming due to a spray of water, and the sight of a firefly blinking with its tiny golden glow and then disappearing into the darkness of the night.

_Don't blink._ I told myself as I held my breath. My eyes should have been glued firm to Anemone - sweet, innocent, pure-hearted Anemone but...

I found my eyes moving sideways to Lust, who was in the _onsen_ (hot springs) with her.

Lust the Siren Witch. With her long, wavy, golden hair, pale skin, silvery-blue colored eyes and pomegranate lips. _Mi princessa reina_. Lust was completely naked and half submerged in the hot, steamy waters of the _onsen,_ so that I could only see the tops of her luscious, bare breasts – those soft, pale mounds that were like moons that were being caressed by the steam rising up from the _onsen_ waters in a way that I was suddenly jealous of. I wished I could turn into steam or mist. Then, only then, could I touch the Siren Witch without her cringing at my touch...

Naked, Lust looked strangely vulnerable. Human. Fragile. I spotted her one shot pistol on the ledge next to the _onsen_. She was always on her guard, wasn't she? What was she so afraid of, I wondered. _Lust...?_ However-

I felt a strong grip on my arm and turned to see a completely livid, sleep-tousled Santiago! _Oh crap._ "Brother...this isn't what it looks like..."

"Machete! How dare you gaze upon the bare flesh of the innocent, virgin maiden Anemone?" He accused while pointing his trembling finger at me.

I put my hands up in front of me, "Huh? Anemone? I wasn't...well, okay, so at first I was, but then-" I quickly tried to explain.

Santiago, however, didn't let me finish. I can't really blame him for that either. He punched me hard across the face. I staggered backwards. It was quite a punch.

"Machete! You perverted bastard!" Santiago swung a roundhouse punch my way again but this time I dodged it-

Hey, I was no saint. "Oi!" I started again, my hands up in front of me, "Would you just hold on a second and listen to me?" But then-

"Kyahhhh! The boys have been peeping on us?!" I heard Anemone's voice exclaim. _Uh oh._

"Those insolent pirates...! I'll teach those sick perverts a lesson!" It was Lust's voice that had turned into a low, feral growl.

Suddenly, a towel-clad Lust was vaulting over the fence agilely to land in front of us. She looked absolutely furious. She began to crack her knuckles as she approached us, a fierce aura forming around her, which meant my overactive imagination must have been running away with me...right?

Santiago had been stalking towards me but upon seeing the livid Lust he quickly moved to hide behind me.

"I didn't even look Lady Lust!" He quickly blurted out. "It was Machete and Moreno! They're the real perverts! I swear to God! It would be ungentlemanly behavior to peep upon a lady!"

"Is that so?" Lust quirked her head at Santiago, an eerie smile on her face, and a strange gleam in her eyes. "Don't worry, I believe you Santiago. You may leave."

"Later!" Santiago said before he took off.

"Oi! Bro! You can't just-!" I called after Santiago but the hair on the back of my neck were standing on end in warning and I turned my attention back to Lust.

Lust cleared her throat. "Just who do you guys think you are?! I don't work out so that disgusting _dominican_ perverts can peep at me and jerk off!"

"We weren't-!" I immediately objected.

"Well..." Moreno began.

I turned to Moreno wide-eyed. "Moreno!"

Lust's eye narrowed to slits. "So did you get a good look at her?"

"Huh? Of who?" I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Don't play dumb, Machete. Did you get a good look at Anemone, of course!? Santiago said you were peeping at her. You like her don't you?" Lust demanded to know.

"HUH? I wasn't peeping at her. Well, technically I was looking at her but then I-"

"Aha!" Lust jabbed her index finger into my chest repeatedly. "You admit it. Disgusting pervert!"

"Hey wait...you're not jealous are you?" I asked suddenly.

Lust's eyes went wide. "Me? Jealous? You wish...I don't even _like_ you, remember?!"

"Oh yea, right, I always forget that..." I scratched the back of my head feeling chagrined.

"Let me remind you just how much I dislike you." She then proceeded to beat the shit out of us. I won't go into a whole lot of detail since it's too painful to remember, but suffice it to say she punched and kicked me repeatedly using all her strength. Well, her punches didn't really hurt me. I had abs of steel. Although when she kicked me in the nuts...yea, that had hurt. I didn't fight back though since I felt like I deserved this punishment from her since I really had been peeping on her and Anemone like some kind of sex-crazed pervert. And I also didn't fight back because I would never raise my hand against Lust because I knew she'd just shatter if I touched her in a violent manner.

Moreno got the shit beaten out of him too and I could see sympathetically that Lust's punches and kicks were definitely hurting Moreno and were sure to leave ugly, dark purple bruises on his brown skin. But Moreno oddly enough smiled throughout the entire beating and I think I caught him looking up Lust's towel as she sent a roundhouse kick his way-

Brave yet stupid guy, that Moreno. Moreno lay on the ground with his nose broken and he was bleeding in places. "That was so worth it, _amigo_." He told me.

I collapsed next to him and pretended I didn't have the strength to get up either and looked up at the night sky. The stars looked like they were laughing at us as they twinkled. "You are such a pervert." I told him.

Moreno gave me a lopsided smile. "If I'm a pervert then you're a closet-pervert. You looked too, don't forget."

"Yea, but I didn't jerk off, perv." I added.

"Point taken."

Lust wiped her hands together, and gave us one last disgusted look before she jumped back over the fence as agile as a wood nymph, or as light as a feather since gravity didn't seem to have much power over Lust.

Moreno and I continued to lie back on the ground and stare up at the night sky together. After a few minutes had passed Moreno spoke up again. "You're lucky, Machete. Anemone and Lust...they like you."

I turned to give Moreno an incredulous look. "Huh? No, they don't. Lust hates me and she's even tried to kill me! And Anemone thinks I'm a pervert and I quote 'strange barbarian'."

Moreno chuckled. "They like you...I know. You forget I'm on the outside looking in. Like I always am. It's because you're good looking...the girls fall for you. First they fall for your face, but then they fall for you because of who you are. You've got charisma, and you've got pheromones too. I'll never get a girl as fine as them. I don't have charisma or pheromones. And my face is ugly. Remember how I used to brag to you about my 'exploits' and 'conquests' with women?"

"Yea..."

"Well, it was all lies. I've never even kissed a girl before. I'm such a loser. I'm repulsive to women. I'll never get a girlfriend. I'll die a sad, lonely, virgin man..." Moreno groaned morosely.

I wondered if Moreno was pulling my leg, joking, or being sarcastic, like he usually was, but for once I realized he was being serious. "Moreno, _amigo_ , that's not true. You're not...hideous."

"Gee, thanks." Moreno said in a sullen tone.

"What I mean is...it's what's on the inside that counts, right?" I told Moreno remembering one of the sayings that Santiago had told me.

Moreno pushed himself up off the ground and headed back to the bedroom, shoulders slumped dejectedly, and his head hanging. "Good looking people can say that shit but to me it's just empty words. You should appreciate your good fortune, Machete." That said Moreno went back inside the room and slid the door closed behind him.

I sighed heavily. _Shit._ Moreno was pissed at me because he thought Anemone and Lust were 'into me' but this couldn't be farther from the truth. They didn't like me. How could they? I was no one, just...some poor _dominican_ man calling himself a Sanky Panky Pirate. I was about to get up and go back to bed myself when I heard the _shoji_ door of the room next to us open-

"I'm going to bed...what about you?" Anemone's voice.

"I want to stay out here a little while longer." Lust's voice. "The water is...soothing."

"Alright...goodnight." The sound of a _shoji_ door being slid shut.

"Vampires..." I heard Lust say to herself in a soft, shuddering voice. I strained my ears to hear what else she would say. "I hate them." And I could tell that she did since her voice was practically dripping with black hatred.

But then Lust began to sing. I freaked out, wondering if she was trying to cast some kind of spell on me when I realized that she didn't know I was still out in the garden listening to her.

Her singing was quite lovely but sad. Sad, troubled, dark, haunted, and beautiful all at the same time.

_It's what's on the inside that counts._ But what was 'inside' of Lust, I wondered.

Human beings are such complex creatures. We're all unique individuals. We all have our own way of thinking, our own thoughts, wishes, dreams, desires, and ambitions. How could I assume to know anything about what Lust was really thinking or feeling.

I think she hated me but...liked my impressive manhood. And that was about it.

I listened to Lust sing until she stopped and it grew quiet – unusually quiet. I furrowed my brow when I didn't hear Lust get out of the _onsen_ and head for bed. She had been in the _onsen_ a really long time, I realized.

_She can't be...?!_ I quickly got up and rushed over to the peephole and peered through it. I saw Lust floating facedown in the water, her golden hair fanning out through the water and looking like silver seaweed-

_Lust! Oh crap! Shit!_ I grabbed onto the top of the fence, hoisted myself up, and leapt over the fence. I rushed to the edge of the _onsen_ and dived into the hot springs pool. I grabbed Lust's limp body and swam her to the ledge. I then pulled her out of the _onsen_ and lay her down on the ground near the ledge of the _onsen_ on her back. I looked down at her still, naked body and saw that she wasn't breathing.

_CRAP!_ I performed a move that Dr. Julian had taught me that was supposed to save a drowned victim: I blew air into Lust's mouth and then pressed down on her chest over her heart in time with my own heartbeat. I repeated this action a few times and just when I was about ready to give up hope, thinking that I had been too late to save her, Lust suddenly turned on her side and coughed up a great deal of water. I put my hand on her arm as I tried to steady her.

Lust gathered her strength to look up to see who was touching her arm and her eyes widened as she caught sight of me. "You!" She hung her head, and her cascade of long golden blonde hair shielded her face from my view. " _You_ saved me? But why? After the way I treated you..." Her voice held a note of incredulity.

I figured she must have been talking about how she just 'beat me up' and so responded accordingly. "You punch like a girl." I smirked. Basically, I was trying to say that she hadn't really hurt me and that I didn't harbor any ill feelings towards her.

Lust looked up then and met my eyes. Her expression was one of disbelief, surprise and irk. "You bastard." She punched my arm but not very hard. "I guess you really did save me though..." She stood up and looked down at me. "So how about I give you a reward for saving my life...Sanky Panky Pirate." She purred as she put both of her hands on my shoulders.

_Huh?_ And then she suddenly pushed me backwards so that I fell into the _onsen_ with a tremendous _splash!_

I came up sputtering and indignant. "Oi! Crazy wench!" But then there was a second splash as Lust joined me in the _onsen_. _Huh?_ She swam towards me and pushed me back towards a sitting ledge. I sat down obediently and Lust straddled my hips...

"Should you really be in the water again so soon?" I asked stupidly.

Lust gave me a hard look. "Just shut up, don't move, and don't touch me." She ordered.

"Well, that second one might be hard to – ah!" Lust had reached down to free my member from the confines of my boxers. She began to stroke my member until it became hard. She smiled satisfied, before she used her hand to guide me towards her entrance-

I gulped as she began to guide me inside of her and then Lust was sitting down on my lap, straddling my hips as my hard shaft filled her glorious womanhood. _So damned good._ I thought.

Lust then began to move. She put her arms around my neck, so that she could lift herself up before impaling herself down upon my aching member again and again.

She was driving me wild with desire. I wanted to touch her, caress her, so badly it hurt. I didn't know what to do with my hands since she had told me not to touch her. But I risked wrapping my arms around Lust's back to bring her closer to my body, so that her breasts were pressing against my bare chest.

"I said don't touch..." Lust glared at me.

I put my hands on her back and didn't move them. "I'm not touching you." I argued. "I'm merely holding you in place for better balance and position and so you don't fall off of me as you-"

Lust put a finger to my lips to shut me up. "Just shut up, stupid _dominican_ ..."

I nodded and inwardly cheered at my tiny victory. My hands were on her back and...her soft breasts were pressing against my chest. I memorized and etched these two forbidden sensations into my mind. _Luckkyyyy._

I thrust upwards and Lust cried out. "Ah! Machete! I'm so close, ah...!" She looked at me and I stared back at her. We stared into each other's eyes. It was an intense moment. I then kept my eyes open as I leaned forward to kiss her but I stopped as some indefinable emotion was beginning to well up inside of me and I felt like I needed to tell Lust something or else I would burst.

"Lust, I think I..." I began.

"I hate you...shut up and perform and do your job properly Sanky Panky or I won't pay you!" Lust growled.

My earlier words died on my tongue. I don't know what I really even intended to say to her at that moment. I gave Lust a hurt look. "Why do you have to treat me like this? Why don't you let me touch you?"

Lust looked back at me before she sighed heavily, and averted her eyes from me as she spoke. "It's because...I hate men. Therefore, I only use them for my pleasure just as I am using you for my own sexual pleasure right now. This means nothing so don't get confused, _dominican_. This is just sex, for pleasure and nothing more."

"Why do you hate men?" I burst out.

"..." Lust remained silent and with one last upwards thrust Lust came and cried out. She glared at me hatefully, almost fearfully, "Machete..." She began in a low voice that I don't think she knew I could hear. "You're like poison...and you're slowly poisoning me..."

"Huh?" I gave Lust a questioning and searching look. Was being poisoned by me a bad thing or a good thing?

Lust got off of me and began to swim back to the ledge of the _onsen_. I watched morosely as she gracefully pulled herself out of the _onsen_. She then picked up her pistol and a pouch of silver. She took out five pieces-of-eight and tossed them into the water of the _onsen_ at me. "Your performance wasn't that bad tonight, filthy _dominican_." She smiled cruelly at me, before she turned on her heel and left me behind.

I looked down at the silver pieces-of-eight at the bottom of the _onsen_ , a sad look on my face. I felt...hurt. So, she hated men and was just using me for sex. Moreno had been _way_ off.

I wasn't good enough for Lust. I was a 'filthy _dominican_ ', a 'Sanky Panky Pirate'. I was a mongrel stray dog and Lust was a gorgeous pedigree. I was bronze, she was gold. The list went on. I sluggishly pulled myself out of the _onsen_ and like a zombie walked towards the fence.

### Chapter 10: Have ye ever seen a man with a real yardarm?

Feeling hurt and depressed I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I walked through Sakura Village and through the nearby grove of cherry blossom trees. As I walked down an isolated path I soon heard voices up ahead of me. My curiosity getting the better of me, I went to investigate.

I peeked through the silvery trunks of some cherry blossom trees to discover there was a natural hot springs pool there. And in the hot springs pool was none other than Captain Tiburón and his two female pirate bodyguards.

_Oh crap!_ I hid behind the nearest cherry blossom tree with my back to the trunk, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. I was still no match for Captain Tiburón and his magical sword. I took a deep breath before peering at them from behind the tree again.

Captain Tiburón and the pirate girls were naked and lounging in the hot springs pool together as if this were the most natural thing in the world. _Sebastian, you dog._ I thought to myself, shaking my head in disbelief.

I could see bluish scales on Captain Tiburón's skin, which reminded me of Anemone.

"Are you feeling better, Captain?" Akane purred in Tiburón's ear. I was shocked when Akane began to nibble slightly at his ear next and even more shocked when Sebastian just yawned and didn't appear to be too concerned by her bold advances.

"Yes, much...it was a good idea to come here. I know Machete and his little friends are here. I can feel it in my bones. I knew he'd come here to try and get the magical Flame Sword. He's not so stupid. And I'll be there to stop him from getting it. I can't let him win." Captain Tiburón said and I watched him clench his fists.

I swallowed thickly. Captain Tiburón and his crew were here on _Sakura Jima_? And what's more, Captain Tiburón knew I was here? _No way._

"Apparently, they've picked up a few new crew members...a little mermaid and the infamous, rogue _samurai_ Onigiri, who possesses the magical Wind Sword. I bet the _samurai_ here would be most interested to discover this fact..." Captain Tiburón smiled cruelly revealing his triangular-shaped, shark-like teeth.

The Siren Witch Nerezza smiled devilishly. "Then we'll just have to let them know. I'm sure we can easily 'convince' the _samurai_ to help you kill Machete and his little friends..." Nerezza dunked a hand towel into the waters of the _onsen_ and began to use it to clean Captain Tiburón's pale chest. I watched as she massaged his chest in a suggestive manner and concentrated on Tiburón's nipples in such a way that I thought she surely must be trying to turn Sebastian on. He seemed oblivious to these attempts, however.

A dark look crossed Captain Tiburón's face. "Kill? Did I say I wanted them killed? That would end my fun too quickly. I merely want to stop Machete from getting his hands on the Flame Sword – by any means necessary. I want to keep Machete alive until the end of this game...or story, at the very least. As for his friends though, they're all expendable. They're just 'side characters' anyways. They're not the heroes of this story. Understand Nerezza? I don't want you doing anything unnecessary. Machete will die but only when I say so, got it?" Captain Tiburón gave Nerezza a stern look.

Nerezza looked abashed and hung her head apologetically, "Do forgive me, Captain."

"I think I've soaked for long enough. I need to make certain preparations. I also need to go and show the Elders these..." Captain Tiburón held up the Wanted Posters of Captain Lust, Captain Sloth and of Onigiri.

_Shit!_ My eyes widened as I caught sight of the Wanted Posters.

Captain Tiburón got out of the hot springs pool and I am very unhappy to report that I saw Captain Tiberon's raging hard on. _So, he wasn't as unaffected by the girls' attentions as he had acted._ I thought. _But I wonder why he refused them with his indifference._ I shrugged since it wasn't really any of my business to begin with. I watched as Akane got out of the hot springs too and was immediately at Captain Tiburón's side so that she could help him get dressed into a dark green, silk, _kimono_ robe. Tiburón let Akane dress him but tied the _kimono_ belt around his waist himself.

Akane began putting on a short, black _kimono_ that had the pattern of red chrysanthemums on it and a red _obi_ sash about her waist. She pulled the front of her _kimono_ open to show more cleavage and reveal more of her nice, shapely breasts and olive skin. She tied her long hair up into a high ponytail and I noticed the red flowers in the _kimono_ brought out the color of her ruby red eyes. Nerezza stepped out of the hot springs next and then leaned over to pick up a _kimono_ from the ground so that she could dress too. However-

Captain Tiburón suddenly doubled over and his face was scrunched up in pain. He gripped his arms with his hands, and I saw that his nails were digging into his skin and drawing blood. His breathing had become irregular and he was soon panting for breath. Before long, Captain Tiburón collapsed to his knees...

"Captain!" The two female pirates cried out in concern and went to kneel at his side.

_Sebastian!_ I thought and I almost ran out from my hiding spot, but I stopped myself at the last second.

"Are you alright, Captain?" Nerezza questioned concernedly, putting a hand on his back and beginning to rub soothing circles.

"Of course I'm alright! I'm not...weak..." Captain Tiburón spat.

Akane gasped suddenly and raised a hand in front of her mouth. "Captain! Your eye...!"

"What about my eye, wench?! Spit it out!" Captain Tiburón ordered.

"You're crying tears of blood." Nerezza informed him darkly.

Sure enough, I could see the red blood that was trickling out from the corner of Tiburón's visible pale green eye making a track down his face. Tiburón raised his hands to wipe the tears away carelessly. "It's nothing." He still had his eye patch on and I noticed that blood was seeping out from under the eye patch, which meant his other eye that was hidden was also crying tears of blood.

"Captain...you're destroying yourself. You've been overexerting yourself. You should stop with this madness. Stop this quest. Forget about your revenge on Machete." Nerezza pleaded.

"Never!" Captain Tiburón heaved. "That I can never do! I'll never give up. Giving up before I've even tried my best...that's just running away and being a coward. A good friend of mine once told me that, so...no, I won't give up, not when there's still a breath in my body. I will defeat Machete! I _will_ win!"

_Giving up before you've even tried your best...that's just running away and being a coward._ My words to Sebastian, on the last day I ever saw him, were now being repeated right in front of me by Captain Tiburón. I was surprised he had remembered those words of mine.

Captain Tiburón took a deep breath, stood up shakily and then straightened. "Come, Akane, Nerezza, we're returning to the village. I need to meet with the Elders of the _Bakemono Ryoushi Kioku_ (Monster Hunter Clan) post haste..."

"Monster Hunters!" Akane spit on the ground.

"Now, now, my dear, I won't let them touch a single hair on your pretty little head so you have nothing to fear," Captain Tiburón told Akane as he stroked her head of dark hair.

Akane looked delighted by the attention. "Oh Captain..."

Nerezza frowned, looking jealous and preoccupied.

"Girls...don't tell anyone about what you just witnessed. To show weakness in front of a pirate crew is a good way to incite a mutiny. My crew must think I'm strong, invincible. Also, I don't want the others in the Elite to worry. We'll find Machete's crew and we'll take back 'the key' to the Lost Island that Machete has stolen from us. Buwhahahaha!" Captain Tiburón let out a maniacal laugh.

I raised an eyebrow at Captain Tiburón's antics – evil laughter was so cliché. _I wonder if Sebastian practiced how to laugh like that._ I mused.

Captain Tiburón and Akane began to walk out of the woods together while Nerezza lagged behind. Captain Tiburón noticed that Nerezza had lagged behind and turned around to give her a questioning and impatient look. "Nerezza?"

"Captain...there's something I need to do. Please go on ahead without me. I'll meet up with you in just a moment." Nerezza informed him.

Captain Tiburón shrugged. "Suit yourself, lass, let's go Akane."

"Aye aye Captain," Akane saluted.

Nerezza walked over to pick up her kimono and began to dress. She then began to make her final adjustments to her _kimono_ by tightening her _obi_ sash while she looked around at the surrounding trees with a suspicious look on her face. The _kimono_ she was wearing was a black silk material that had the pattern of silvery cranes in flight. The _obi_ sash was a shinning silver color. Instead of a pair of _zori_ sandals Nerezza put on pirate boots with cuffs. After she was finished she turned to face the tree I was hiding behind. "Come on out, Machete. I know you're there. Stop hiding like a coward and face me! Or are you just being a peeping tom?"

_Crap!_ She must have sensed my presence somehow? I stood out from behind the _sakura_ tree and approached her. I had my hand behind my head in a bashful gesture. "Er, I wasn't being a peeping tom. Why do you ladies always assume the worse about me? Do I look like a pervert to you?"

Nerezza's gray eyes glittered with malice. "So you're a coward then?"

"No, I was...spying on my enemy," I declared boldly. _More like eavesdropping but it does sound cooler when I say it that way._

Nerezza's expression darkened. "Enemy? Yes...I guess that's right." Nerezza sashayed closer to me. "You're Sebastian's greatest enemy...he hates you more than anything in this world..."

"Yea..." I swallowed thickly as she reached out and caressed my cheek.

"I could kill you right now, _dominican_ ...but then Captain Tiburón would be displeased with me. For some reason he wants you alive. Perhaps so he can watch you suffer when he gets his revenge upon you. It would only be fair since..." Nerezza paused dramatically before continuing. "You are the cause of Sebastian's suffering."

I blinked back at Nerezza in confusion. "Huh? I never did anything to Sebastian..."

"Oh? No? You're the worst...you must have selective memory or something! In the past...when you were friends on the Dominican Republic...you hurt him! Captain Tiburón is all messed up and suffering now because of you. He won't find peace until you're dead. He's pushing himself because of you and-" Nerezza bit her lip, as if she had been about to reveal a secret and suddenly remembered she wasn't supposed to.

I gave Nerezza a serious look. "He's sick isn't he? He was always sick...but I thought his father found a cure?"

"A cure?" Nerezza laughed brokenly, "You've seen what he has become...you call that a cure?! His own father cursed him with strange gifts...that have too high a price to pay. Sebastian has become a monster because of you!"

I gave the Siren Witch a confused look. This just wasn't making any sense to me. "But...why? I didn't do anything! He was one of my closest friends!" I tried to search my memory for any instance when I had been cruel or mean to Sebastian but could think of nothing. All I could remember was telling him stories about my adventures in the Dominican Republic and I could remember Sebastian's look of pure admiration. How had admiration turned to hate?

"Try and remember, Machete. We'll speak again and next time maybe I'll disobey Sebastian's order and kill you. Even if it means he'll hate me for it!" Nerezza warned before turning to go. "Oh and let me give you one piece of advice. I'd stay away from Captain Lust if I were you. She doesn't know how to love...only hate." That said she walked away.

"Oi! Wait!" I called after the Siren Witch Nerezza but after I chased her through the trees I found that she had disappeared.

Nerezza's words were spinning around ruthlessly in my head. I was the cause of Sebastian's suffering? I had hurt Sebastian in the past? Because of me Sebastian was all messed up? I put my hand around the shark tooth necklace I was wearing. Amano had given it to me so I wouldn't forget the real reason why I was on this quest.

The shark's tooth necklace was a reminder of who my current enemy was, a reminder of why I sought strength, of why I needed Pirate King Pride's treasure, a reminder that my mother needed me since she was still Captain Tiberon's hostage back at the Dominican Republic and also a reminder that Cabarete Village needed me. _Don't worry Amano. I won't forget._

I realized in that moment that I didn't have the time to be worrying about Lust. I quickly made my way back to Kappa Inn. I jumped over the fence of the back garden and realized I had jumped into Lust's garden by accident. I sighed. _Idiot._ I walked towards the fence which separated our two gardens intent on trying to go back to sleep. I don't know what kind of expression I had on my face but it must not have been a very good one because Anemone, who had come back out into the garden, caught sight of me and called out:

"Hey!" Came Anemone's hushed voice from behind.

I turned to see her hurrying towards me. She was dressed in a dark blue silk robe. I waited for her to reach me. I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering about her flushed face and embarrassed look. "Yes?" I suddenly wondered if Anemone had seen Lust and I making love. Having sex. Whatever.

Anemone gave me a nervous look and looked down while tapping the tips of her fingers together. "Uh...I'm sorry! I overheard something. I mean, you're a _dominican_ but you're definitely not filthy. You're, uh, very clean and well-groomed!" Anemone looked up, her face bright pink.

I blinked at Anemone in surprise. She was trying to cheer me up, I realized. Silly little mermaid. I thought fondly and chuckled. "Clean huh? Well, I guess that's a start." I reached out and ruffled Anemone's hair. "Thanks Anemone." For some reason in that moment I thought about my dead little sister – if I had a sister I would have wanted her to be just like Anemone.

Anemone just smiled back at me. She had a very pretty smile. A smile worth protecting, I decided.

***

"Kyahhhh!" Instead of the sound of a rooster's call waking me up it was the sound of girls screaming that roused me the following morning. I sat up quickly in bed, wondering what the hell was going on _now_. I turned to see Moreno sitting cross-legged on his futon with his lap filled with underwear: silky bras and panties.

"Oh no you didn't..." I slapped a hand to my forehead and shook my head.

From our open window my parrot Don Juan flew inside with something in his beak. He flew over and landed in Moreno's lap. Moreno took the lacy white bra from Don Juan's beak.

"Awesome. Good job, Don Juan." Moreno praised my parrot.

"Bras and panties! Bras and panties! Bras and panties!" Don Juan squawked loudly.

"Moreno!" I growled, "What the hell did you teach my parrot?!" I bonked Moreno over the back of his head with my fist.

"What's all the commotion?" Santiago had woken up and he was putting his spectacles on. He turned to look at Moreno with his lap filled with underwear and lacy bras, and his eyes widened. "Oh no you didn't..."

"He did." I said, and began the count down in my head...

3...2...1...

The door to our room was kicked open with a loud _BAM!_ and a furious looking Lust stalked inside. She was still wearing her beautiful white _kimono_ with her pirate boots. Anemone was right behind her while Amano was shyly standing behind Anemone.

I could tell Lust was pissed. "Machete...!" She growled.

Both Santiago and I pointed at Moreno. "He did it!"

"Oi!" Moreno exclaimed, "What happened to loyalty among thieves?!"

"Pirate." I said, reminding Moreno that I wasn't a simple _dominican_ thief anymore but something far worse.

"You again...!" Lust glared down at Moreno as if he were some kind of cockroach she was about to squash with her boot. "You disgusting pervert!" She cracked her knuckles and approached Moreno...

Moreno gulped. "Epp! Machete, save me...!" He gave me a pleading look, which I pointedly ignored.

Lust grabbed him and began to punch him across the face. Before I realized what was happening Lust was suddenly straddling Moreno on the floor while punching him - first with her right fist and then her left sending Moreno's head turning left and then right with her roundhouse punches. "How dare you? You ugly, _dominican_ pervert!"

Moreno looked up at Lust, his ugly face, battered, bruised and bleeding before he smiled and breathed: "Please...be gentle..." In a suggestive manner.

Lust gave Moreno a disbelieving look before she realized that she was practically on top of Moreno. "You disgusting, masochistic, pirate thief!" Lust punched him hard across the face one last time before she stood up and stalked out of the room in a huff.

"I think she likes me..." Moreno said from his prone position on the floor. Well, if he could still crack jokes I knew I didn't have to be too worried about him.

I shook my head at Moreno. Poor Moreno. But...he kind of brought that upon himself. I held my hand out to Moreno and helped him up. "You look like crap man..."

"Gee thanks." Moreno said.

Anemone was standing in the doorway and seemed to be hesitating about whether she should enter our room or not when Santiago noticed her. "Anemone?"

Anemone jumped and gave Santiago a sheepish smile as she entered our room. She walked over to Moreno and inspected his face. A small frown formed on her face as she did so. "You really shouldn't steal girl's underwear but...Lust went too far..." Anemone declared before looking around the room and spotting a small table with a ceramic basin and pitcher on it. Anemone walked over to the table, filled the basin with water, and grabbed a small hand towel, which she dunked into the basin. She then took this dampened towel over to Moreno and began to dab at the cuts and scrapes on Moreno's face delicately.

Moreno was shocked by Anemone's kind actions and hung his head feeling abashed. "I'm sorry..."

Anemone smiled brightly down at him. "Apology accepted."

_Anemone really is amazing_ , I thought to myself as I watched her. In that moment as she cared for Moreno's wounds I thought she looked like some kind of guardian angel since she seemed to have this golden halo of pure goodness around her. Though it could have just been my imagination.

Onigiri entered our room around that time, noted the state of things, and shrugged. "Ready to go?"

***

With Onigiri in the lead we discreetly made our way through Sakura Village, exiting out on the western side where we began to enter the _sakura_ forest that stood before the western mountain slope that we would begin to climb in order to find Blacksmith Muramasa's new home.

As we journeyed I decided to ask Onigiri a question, which had been weighing on my mind. "Onigiri, why were the _samurai_ so gung ho about capturing Percivious back there? Are they after the bounty on his head?"

"No," Onigiri shook his head. "It's because he's a monster. A vampire. The _samurai_ who live in Sakura Village are all part of the _Bakemono Ryoushi Kioku_ , or Monster Hunter Clan. They're Monster Hunters by trade. It's their job to hunt down and kill creatures like Percivious in order to keep the Seven Seas safe for normal human sailors."

"Monster Hunters?" I had heard of them before. The legendary _samurai_ who sailed the Seven Seas killing monsters to keep the seas safe for normal sailors. But I never thought I would actually come face to face with these so-called Monster Hunters, they had been like a legend to me.

We had just begun to climb the mountain on the western slope when we spotted a thin stream of rising smoke up ahead that was probably from the forge in the blacksmith's workshop.

"That's it," Onigiri confirmed my thoughts as we began to make our way towards the rising smoke.

The mountainside had gotten much steeper and rockier, so that Santiago was giving Anemone a piggyback ride. I turned to look at Lust. "Want me to give you a piggyback ride, _mi princessa reina_?" I winked at her.

Lust just glared at me in response, "Want me to kill you, _dominican_?"

"Denial." Moreno coughed and Lust shot him a fierce, deadly glare. Ah, if looks could kill. Moreno ended up tripping and falling flat on his face due to the fear that one look had caused him.

From the grove of cherry blossoms we finally exited out upon a clearing on the mountainside and spotted an Asian-style dwelling. The building was rectangular in shape, only had one story, had a slopping, red, tiled roof, and a wooden, wraparound porch with an elaborately carved banister. Next to the home was the forge or blacksmith's workplace.

In front of the workplace I spotted a display rack of _katana_. My blood began to race. My hand went to the machete in my sash belt.

From out of the workplace a middle-aged, Asian man emerged. He was wearing a black _haori_ wrap shirt, black _hakama_ pants, and a leather apron. His hair was in a topknot just like a _samurai_. And there were two swords strapped to his waist – one long _katana_ and the shorter _wakizashi_. His face had three slashing scars on it that looked like a tiger had clawed his face.

My eyes widened since I recognized the man immediately. It was The Samurai. _Sensei! Blacksmith Muramasa was...my sensei?! No way._

Onigiri approached Blacksmith Muramasa while Muramasa approached him silently. Both wore emotionless expressions on their faces. The tension was so thick in the air it could have been cut with a knife. I gulped. They stood a few feet away from each other and stared off-

"Onigiri...so you've returned." Muramasa started in a monotone voice.

" _Otosan_ ...Father..." Onigiri greeted him.

_Otosan? Father? Muramasa-sensei was Onigiri's father?!_ My head was spinning. The son that Muramasa had protected from the _nekomata_ demon had been Onigiri...! I realized.

Muramasa approached Onigiri and stood in front of him before grinning. "My son!" Before he punched Onigiri hard across the face-

And with such force that Onigiri was sent flying backwards, at least ten feet. As Onigiri flew backwards in the air he twisted his body so that he wouldn't land on Rosie but instead land on his chest as he hit the ground. I nodded my head sympathetically. The Samurai's blows were no joke. Been there, done that, kind of thing.

Onigiri rubbed his aching jaw and looked up at his father with a questioning look on his face. "Father?"

Muramasa approached his son and noticed the baby on his back. "I see...you've finally found someone to protect? That's good. But do you have the strength and skill to protect that child from the Monster Hunter Clan? I wonder why the lamb has returned to the lion's den covered in blood!" Muramasa drew the _katana_ that was at his side and swung his sword down at Rosie-

Rosie didn't look too concerned though, and instead appeared to be getting excited. "Kyahhh! Teehee Teehee teehee!" She giggled loudly and clapped her hands together as the sword went sailing over her head.

Onigiri quickly spun, drawing his sword at the same time and blocked his father's next attack. "Father." No longer a question, but a warning.

"Not bad, I see you still have the Sword of Wind that I forged for you...let's see if you can use it!" Muramasa brought his sword back and lunged it forward, aiming at his son's heart.

_Holy crap!_ I held my breath. Muramasa was fucking serious!

But Onigiri blocked his father's attack expertly, and pushed Muramasa back so he could stand. The two _samurai_ stood facing each other.

Father and son...reunited at long last? This was one hell of a family reunion!

Onigiri and Muramasa charged each other and their swords clashed. Muramasa spun and delivered a sidekick to his son's stomach-

Onigiri gasped in pain and staggered backwards. "Your defense is full of openings my son!" Muramasa chided him amiably.

Onigiri took his stance and tried again. He charged his father but his father easily sidestepped to the side and brought the flat of his blade down upon Onigiri as he stepped past him. "Too slow. Again."

Again, Onigiri attacked his father, and again his father easily evaded Onigiri's attack and hit him with the back of his sword, this time painfully on Onigiri's shoulder.

It was painful to watch. It was like watching a baby lion cub crawling up a mountainside towards its father only to be pushed down the mountain again with a hard swap of his father's paw, and forced to climb up the mountain again and again. Before my eyes Onigiri had been reduced to a lion cub and Muramasa was indeed an old yet fierce and wise lion.

"He's beating the shit out of his own son..." Moreno stated.

"Maybe that's just his way of showing his fatherly love?" Amano suggested.

Onigiri was soon panting for breath, battered, bruised and Rosie was clapping her hands excitedly, her ruby-red eyes sparkling. "Kyahhh!" I could tell that Onigiri was beginning to get desperate.

Onigiri decided to finally call upon the magical power of his Wind Sword. "Ahhhh!" A fierce wind began to pick up around Onigiri-

Muramasa's eyes narrowed. "You intend to resort to magic against me, boy? Where has your honor as a true _samurai_ gone?!" Muramasa charged forward and before Onigiri had a chance to finish summoning the wind element, Muramasa had disarmed Onigiri. The Wind Sword went flying up into the air, spun and imbedded itself in the ground a few feet away.

Onigiri hung his head. "I lost..."

Muramasa swung his sword and I thought for a second he was really going to behead Onigiri before his blade stopped a mere inch away from his son's throat. "Your blade is weak, boy. There is hesitation behind your blade. You will not be able to protect that child if you have hesitation and doubt...doubt that this is the right path you have chosen. You're on a path that you have chosen to follow half-heartedly. I'm disappointed."

"Half-heartedly?" Onigiri looked up at his father.

"I was surprised when I was informed that you had failed in your last mission as a Monster Hunter. The Elders told me that they had assigned you with the task of tracking down a ship that was overrun with vampires. You found the ship and killed every last vampire aboard...all except for one. That child.

"As a result you were forced to flee. You became a traitor and a rogue _samurai_. The Elders even decided to place a bounty on your head. You are now a wanted man. As things stand now you cannot return to the Monster Hunter Clan.

"That child is an abomination. Vampires are not born. They are made. So you do realize that you have an 'immortal baby' in your care? Why did you choose to spare the life of such an abominable creation? A baby that will never grow up?" Muramasa gave Onigiri a hard stare.

I was in shock. Onigiri used to be a part of the Monster Hunter Clan!? But because he had refused to kill the vampire child Rosie he had been labeled a traitor to the clan, and a rogue _samurai_. And a bounty had been placed on his head. Now, the entire Monster Hunter Clan was after Onigiri and Rosie's life. That explained a lot.

"I did not sense evil from this child. I thought that perhaps there might be a way to save her. I'm sailing throughout the entire Seven Seas to find God. God is the only one that can possibly save this child and save this child's soul. If God exists...I will surely find him." Onigiri declared.

"God? You think you can find God like that? You're looking for God in all the wrong places, my son. Like the foolish Babylonians who built a tower thinking to reach God and the heavens. Instead you sail the Seven Seas in order to find God's Island. But there is no such place. Your quest is a futile one. Give it up." Muramasa pointed his sword at Onigiri's heart. "God...is within...son..."

Onigiri gave his father a quizzical look not understanding the meaning of his words. "I won't give it up. I _will_ find a way to save this child. The world is a vast place filled with many unsolved mysteries. There is so much more to this world than that which we see with our own two eyes. I've heard tales about an island in these seas where there's a man, who has the power to bring people back to life. They call the island God's Island. I've heard he can even call souls back from the underworld or hell, and place them in vessels he has created. If I could find a way to call Rosie's soul back into her body from the underworld...perhaps she could be saved..."

"You search for an accursed isle where a man plays God? That man is _not_ God but perhaps the Devil." Muramasa shook his head.

_Ah, so that's why Onigiri has really agreed to sail with us. He's in search of 'God' or of this cursed isle where there's a man who 'plays God'._ I thought.

"Well, I won't know until I meet him, now will I? I...am not helping Rosie half-heartedly. This is the path I've chosen." Onigiri said with a steely look in his eyes.

Muramasa gave his son a skeptical look. "Your blade trembles with your indecision, your doubt, your hesitation. You cannot hide this truth from me, I, who forged that sword you now wield. I can hear a _katana_ 's voice. You must first defeat your own inner demons before you will possess the strength to protect this child. You bring your personal troubles to the battlefield with you when you should leave them behind." Muramasa shook his head at Onigiri. "You don't believe you can really save her. Your blade doesn't lie to me. You have no hope. You think your quest is futile and if you think so then all truly is doomed."

Onigiri clenched his fists at his side.

_This is some heavy shit_. I thought. I decided to lighten the mood. "Oi! _Sensei_! Long time no see! You've gotten older and have more wrinkles! And what happened to your hair...it's all white now!"

Muramasa turned to face me and his eyes widened slightly as he recognized me. My appearance had changed – I had grown from a teenager into a young man. I had also cut my hair short, and grown a goatee to blend in easier with the pirate world.

"Machete...is that really you?" Muramasa grinned broadly and approached me in a friendly manner. " _Hisashiburi_. Long time no see."

I smiled and put out my hand, " _Sensei_."

However, _sensei_ didn't take my hand but instead punched me hard across the face. Really, I should have seen that coming. I staggered backwards a few steps. At least I did better than Onigiri and hadn't gone flying. I was used to taking Muramasa's killer punches.

"Idiot!" He cried. "Why did you come to this isle of all places? And you brought my wayward son with you! Most likely to his doom. Why are you even here?"

"Father...I brought Machete and his friends here because we...I...want you to forge Machete the magical Flame Sword." Onigiri informed him simply.

"The Flame Sword?" Muramasa looked at me curiously. "Why? For what purpose would he need such a powerful and destructive sword? Doesn't he cause enough destruction without having such a sword!"

"To defeat a powerful enemy." I said walking forward. "Captain Envy...also known as Captain Tiburón. Wielder of the Water Sword."

Muramasa gave me a surprised look. "Captain Tiburón is your enemy? How is this so?"

"He took over Cabarete Village and has my mother Esperanza as well as the entire village hostage. The place is overrun with his half-merman half-man pirates." I explained.

"Esperanza," A wistful, far-off look formed in Muramasa's dark eyes. "Your mother was a very kind and beautiful woman. I remember her kindness well. She used to bring me _empanadas_ when I trained too hard and let myself pass out from hunger on the beach. The first time I saw her I thought she was an angel...an _empanada_ angel..."

_Empanada Angel?_ I thought and chuckled. _That's new!_

" _Otosan_! Father!" Onigiri looked scandalized, "How could you call another woman beautiful? What about mother!"

A sad shadow fell across Muramasa's face. "Your mother... _was_ also a beautiful woman."

Onigiri frowned at Muramasa. "I think you mean 'is' father." He gave his father a challenging stare. "If I can save Rosie...I will find a way to save Mother as well."

Muramasa shook his head. "Your mother is dead to me."

Onigiri's eyes narrowed at Muramasa. "And my sister? Where is Hotaru?!" He asked loudly. Onigiri looked around towards the Blacksmith's house with a worried expression on his face. "Bartender Daigo told me Captain Tiburón took her hostage."

"That's right. Captain Tiburón...he..." Muramasa clenched his fists at his sides. "That bastard...he..."

" _Niisan_? Brother?" Came a soft voice.

A young, Asian woman emerged from within Muramasa's home. She was wearing a dark purple _kimono_ that had the pattern of silver plum blossoms embroidered into the thick silk material, and a pale, lavender colored _obi_ tied around her waist. She had a pair of _zori_ sandals on her feet. Her long, thick, black hair hung loose around her shoulders and cascaded all the way down her back.

Her eyes were closed.

And when she opened them I saw that her eyes were a milky blue color and it appeared that she could not see. She was blind.

"Hotaru?!" Onigiri exclaimed as he caught sight of his sister and rushed towards her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. He looked into her unseeing eyes and his eyes filled with tears. It was the most emotion I had ever seen Onigiri display. "Sister...what did Captain Tiburón do to you?!" He demanded.

"Brother...!" Hotaru greeted and squeezed him tightly.

Moreno raked his eyes over Hotaru blatantly checking her out. Strike! " _La señorita es definitivamente hermoso_. That's one fine Asian lady. _And_ she's blind. _Mil gracias Dios!_ Thank you, God!" Moreno put his hands together and looked up at the sky above. "This is my chance! If she can't see my ugly face she's sure to fall in love with my pure heart!"

"Pure?" I raised an eyebrow at Moreno and shook my head at his antics.

Without further ado, Moreno went over to introduce himself to Hotaru. "So sorry to interrupt this touching reunion but I just wanted to introduce myself to the lovely lady..."

"Uh..." Onigiri gave Moreno a look of pure disbelief as he was shoved unceremoniously away from his own sister.

Moreno took Hotaru's hands in his next, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hotaru, my name is Moreno. I just wanted to say that I think you're very beautiful." Moreno boldly placed a sloppy, wet kiss on the top of Hotaru's hand.

In response, Hotaru slapped Moreno hard across the face. "Unhand me, you perverted pirate! _Hentai!_ "

Apparently 'hentai' was the Japanese word for pervert.

Moreno took a step back in shock. "I'm not a perverted pirate, I swear!"

"Panty thief Moreno! Panty thief Moreno! Panty thief Moreno!" Don Juan said repeatedly as he flew over to take a seat upon Hotaru's shoulder at this opportune moment.

Moreno's jaw dropped as he gawked at Don Juan. "Don Juan! Bad bird!"

"Panty thief...?" Hotaru asked the bird in shock.

"Ahahahaha!" Lust had suddenly burst out laughing. "That _so_ serves you right, perverted thief! She may be blind but that doesn't mean her sense of smell doesn't work, _dominican_. You're so pathetic, you can't even woo a blind girl without screwing it up!"

I shot Lust a glare. That had been a bit below the belt. If Lust were a guy I probably would have punched her for that comment. I clenched my fist instead and decided to punch a hole in a nearby tree instead. " _Hijo de puta!_ "

Lust noticed this, however, and her eyes widened. "Oh? Are you angry, Machete? Are you going to hit me?" Lust eyed the large whole I had made in the tree's trunk.

I grit my teeth. "No. I'm never going to hit you so you should just stop trying to get me to. I know what you're up to. I'll never hurt you nor treat you badly as much as you try to make me. You want to justify your feelings of hate for me but...I won't let that happen."

Lust appeared to be taken aback.

"She just wants your attention, Machete." Moreno drawled, and waved his hand through the air in an imperious gesture. "Bad attention is better than no attention in her book apparently."

"That's absurd!" Lust burst out. "Why would I...?!"

"If Lust wanted my attention all she would have to do is ask." I said simply.

Lust gave me a surprised look.

Meanwhile, Hotaru was telling Onigiri what had happened between her and Captain Tiburón. "It was Captain Tiburón. He blinded me, brother. He found out that I was learning father's skill of how to forge magical swords. He told me there were already enough magical swords in the Seven Seas and that he didn't want there to be anyone who could stand up to his power a.k.a the Water Sword. He's forbidden us from making another magical sword and spared our lives on that condition."

"Sebastian...that bastard..." I couldn't believe that Sebastian had done something so heartless.

Onigiri turned to give his father an incredulous look. "Father, don't tell me you intend to give in to Captain Tiburón's threat? Machete is our only hope in defeating Captain Tiburón. I knew this as soon as I met him – that he would be a match for Captain Tiburón and Machete seems to have a natural affinity with fire. You must make him the Flame Sword...it could be his destiny!" He urged.

Muramasa stared at his son for a moment before he shook his head. "I refuse."

Onigiri gave his father a shocked look. "Buy why?"

Muramasa looked at me then, and his expression turned thoughtful. "He has yet to pass the test..."

"Test? What test? What are you talking about _Otosan_? There isn't time for this-" Onigiri argued.

"Also, I need the Dragon Beast God's fang before I can forge the magical Flame Sword." Muramasa said as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"But...you know where the dragon's lair is, don't you father?" Onigiri gave his father a hopeful look.

"Perhaps," Muramasa shrugged, "But I won't tell you."

"Dammit father!" Onigiri growled.

I was trying to pay attention to their conversation, but I was distracted when I heard a soft, feminine voice calling me. " _Please...help..._ " I spun around wondering where the voice had come from. _Huh?_ I turned to Moreno. "Oi, did you hear that?"

Moreno gave me an odd look. "Hear what?"

"A woman's voice...calling for help..." I said looking around.

Moreno gave me a worried look. "Hearing voices? That's the first sign of going crazy you know."

I turned to scowl at Moreno.

" _Please...help..._ " There it was again! I ignored Moreno and the others and started to follow the sound of the voice. I left the others and began to head into the nearby cherry blossom forest. " _Help...me...please..._ "

I walked through the cherry blossom forest until I came to a clearing where a towering, ancient cherry blossom tree stood. The tree must have been hundreds of years old to grow to that size. It was like the Mother of all the cherry blossom trees, I thought. It was at least fifty feet high and its trunk was about twenty feet wide. The petals of the cheery blossom tree were a pale lilac color. The bushy head of the cherry blossom tree was enormous.

From the center of the tree's trunk emerged a woman like a tree spirit. _A naiad? Or some kind of Nymph._ I thought. Her body was slightly transparent making me think that she was a spirit. At first only her pale, heart-shaped face emerged, and she opened her eyes to reveal that they were large and sky-blue. She had pink, pouty lips and a cute, slopping, little nose. It was the face of a cherubic angel or doll.

The woman emerged fully from the tree to reveal that she was dressed in a nun's habit, which consisted of a high-necked, long, dark blue dress that had a large, white cross on the front of it. She was also wearing a white, leather, under bust corset. She had on a dark blue veil and a white wimple (the collar and stiff garment that is worn around the face) that covered her hair. I then noticed a flash of silver and caught sight of a medieval silver cross that she was wearing around her neck and that looked antique.

_Huh? A nun outfit...what kind of a tree spirit is she?_ I wondered. "Are you a tree spirit?" I addressed her stupidly. I had never been very eloquent to begin with.

"No, I'm-" The ethereal woman began.

"Wait!" I held up my hand. "Don't tell me...you're a...nymph!"

"No, I'm-"

"Wait, a naiad." I gave her a hopeful look.

"I'm the ghost of a nun." The young woman explained helpfully.

"Ah, so you're a nun ghost," I nodded in understanding. "That makes sense because of that outfit." I stopped nodding as what I was saying caught up with my brain. _Wait a sec. A ghost? And she used to be a nun!_ _A nun ghost?!_ I stared at the nun and noticed her semi-transparent body and began to freak out. "Y-y-you're a g-g-ghost?! You're dead!"

The phantom nun sighed. "I get this a lot."

"Oh sorry..." I put my hand behind my head and gave her an apologetic look. "It's just that this is only my second time meeting a ghost."

"Don't worry about it. You're doing much better than most. Most people would have fainted, run away, or screamed in my face by now."

I smirked at that. "Ghosts are spirits that haven't moved on because they have some kind of unfinished business right? Or regret?" I thought remembering Minoe.

"Yes..."

"What's your unfinished business, _señora_? Maybe I can help?" I immediately offered her.

The nun ghost smiled and gave me a surprised look. "You're kinder than you look. I called out to you since you looked strong and I need the help of a strong man since my unfinished business is going to be very dangerous no doubt. There's a man who needs my help..." She began to explain.

I gave the nun a surprised look. "A man? I figured your unfinished business was going to be some kind of 'God's work' you know, something like converting someone or feeding some homeless kids maybe or maybe even rescuing a damsel in distress from the dragon that lives nearby...that kind of thing."

The nun blushed and coughed into her hand. "Well, my unfinished business has to do with a man! Okay? So what! Geez. Just because I'm a nun does that mean I can't fall in love like normal women?!" She said in a defensive manner.

"I never said anything about you being in love with said man." I smirked, with my arms crossed over my chest and raised my eyebrows at this interesting nun.

Her blush grew even brighter at my words and she waved her hands before her as she spoke. "Anyways, an innocent man's life is in danger and I need your help!"

"Whose?"

"A priest named Percivious."

"Percivious?" I blinked at her in surprise. So, the gunslinger, Vampire Priest had a nun ghost on his side, huh? What did I tell you? He couldn't be such a bad guy after all right? He definitely had to have some good karma on his side or something to have _divine_ help. I just knew Percivious didn't seem like a bad guy. "I know of him. He was captured by the Monster Hunters and taken to the Elders for judgment." I informed her.

The nun's eyes grew cold. "The Elder's judgment has already been passed. Percivious is to be executed."

"Shit..." I swore, "Oh sorry...I mean, damn!"

The nun ghost sighed, "You can swear in front of me, just don't take the Lord's name in vain."

"Riiight." I nodded. If they executed Percivious there would go my Master Gunner. The only way to kill a vampire was to put a silver stake in his heart and chop off his head. This was messy business.

"Please..." The nun ghost beseeched me. "The Monster Hunters know their trade well. They will stake him and then behead him. This time...he really will leave me all alone."

I raised my eyebrow at the nun. "What is his relation to you?"

"He is the man I love!" The nun ghost declared passionately and then bit her lip once she realized what she had just said.

"The man you love, huh?" I grinned. "Don't worry, sister...?"

"My name is Angela."

"Sister Angela. Don't worry. I'll go and save Percivious. Somehow. I can't fight all those _samurai_ on my own though. And I know my friends won't help me. I need to come up with some kind of distraction that will enable me to only have to fight a few _samurai_ at a time, and give me a chance to free Percivious..."

"A distraction?" Angela's blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "I may have an idea!"

The nun ghost Angela ended up guiding me through the cherry blossom forest, through the village and to a large, fireworks warehouse located in the outskirts of the village. I looked up at the building not yet knowing what was inside.

"Fireworks!" Angela informed me excitedly. "The perfect distraction, don't you think? So, Machete...just sneak in there, get the fireworks, and then we'll-" Angela was saying before I interrupted her.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You want me to go in there and _steal_ fireworks so that we can save the _man_ you _love_?" I gave her a bemused look. "Just what kind of a nun are you?"

Angela's face turned red as a tomato. She gave me an indignant look. "I'm a Catholic nun, thank you very much! Anyways, hurry up! We don't have much time before Percivious' execution!"

I sighed. A bossy nun ghost. Go figure. I shrugged. "Alright already I'm going, don't get your panties in a bunch sister."

"Why, I never! How dare you speak to a sister of the cloth that way, pirate!" Angela shouted after me as I snuck into the warehouse.

I obediently did as I was told, however, and snuck into the fireworks warehouse. I found a burlap sack and began to stuff it with various Asian fireworks. Some of them looked like sticks of dynamite with fuses on one end, others were balls with fuses sticking out of them and others resembled rockets with fuses. There were also rockets that were attached to long sticks that you could stick into the ground so that they would launch into the sky.

I was about to leave when I spotted a dragon festival mask hanging on the wall. I grinned and reached out to pull it off the wall. _This will be perfect_. I knew my friends didn't want me drawing unwanted attention to our party nor drawing the _samurai_ 's attention by getting involved with the vampire Percivious. But I figured if I had a disguise while I saved Percivious no one would know it had been us.

I knew that by choosing to save Percivious I was putting everyone at risk. I also realized that we were already short on time to complete our mission here since Captain Tiburón might have already contacted the Elders and shown them the Wanted Posters. I knew that I was selfishly putting my friends in danger by not telling them about my decision to rescue Percivious, but...my gut told me I _had_ to save him.

I put the dragon mask on and went outside with the huge sack of fireworks slung over my shoulder. I must have looked like a demonic version of Santa Clause (that is if Santa Clause had existed in the seventeenth century).

Angela gave me a quizzical look. "What's with the ceremonial mask, Machete?"

"What? You don't like it?" I asked teasingly.

Angela shrugged. "The people of _Sakura Jima_ worship the Dragon Beast God Seiryuu...who lives at the top of Mount Fuji. That mask is only worn during one of their pagan festivals used to celebrate the gifts the Dragon God has given them...it's called the Dragon Festival. The mask...is perfect." Angela grinned.

Angela and I continued our way to Sakura Village quickly and stealthily, sneaking through the back streets and keeping to the shadows. We painstakingly edged closer to the Town Square where the public execution of Percivious was about to take place.

Once there we peeked around the corner of a building to observe the happenings in the Town Square. There was a raised platform stage in the very center of a crowd of island inhabitants. Close to the stage were also the _samurai_ – Monster Hunters – dressed in full armor. On the platform stage itself there were only four _samurai_ in full armor giving them an intimidating presence. They were wearing horned helmets that covered and shadowed their faces in a sinister manner, metal plate chest armor, shoulder pads, arm pads, greaves, and metal boots.

Ironically, I thought that the _samurai_ looked like demons or monsters themselves with those horned helmets of theirs. Percivious was on the stage, on his knees, with his head bowed. I saw the blood that Onigiri had splattered onto his white priest outfit. The blood that had caused Percivious to give himself away.

There was also a large spot of blood where the female _samurai_ had stabbed him with her _naginata_. The blood still appeared wet and fresh. Apparently no one had bothered to treat his wound or bandage it.

_Only four samurai on the stage, guarding him._ I thought to myself. _Perfect. The rest of the samurai are pretty far away from the stage. And as soon as I light the fireworks there will be instant chaos._

An elderly, Asian man wearing a black, hooded cloak and who was hunched over, made his way up onto the platform stage slowly. He removed his hood to reveal a wrinkled face with a long, white beard that reached the ground. His white eyebrows and mustache curled at the ends. He had a gnarled walking stick in his right hand, which he used to support himself and that looked to be made out of the wood of a cherry blossom tree. He clacked the walking stick down upon the platform stage loudly to get everyone's attention and to silence the inhabitants of _Sakura Jima_ before he spoke.

"Proud villagers of _Sakura Jima_! Hear me! We have captured a vampire who wandered into our village asking questions about our number one monster target. This vampire claimed to want our help in hunting HIM! The council of Elders debated over whether or not we should trust this vampire's words and fight side by side with this vampire against HIM. And we have come to a decision. Our decision is...

"NO. The vampire's words cannot be trusted because he could very easily be lying to us. Without a soul, without one's conscious, one does not have a reason _not_ to lie and so is prone to deception. God's voice has already left this creature. The vampire's soul has been damned to hell. He is a creature of pure evil and once we start associating ourselves with the evil we seek to destroy the evil is sure to taint us and tempt us.

"Therefore, for the good of the Monster Hunter Clan we Elders have decreed that the vampire known as Percivious shall be executed, henceforth, publicly to be made an example of to other vampires who think to try to come here and deceive us with lies of an alliance. Executioner, you may proceed!" The Elder finished and clacked his walking stick upon the platform stage twice.

"Fuck that." I struck a match against my thigh and lit it. I then held the match up to one of the fireworks I had, lit it, and threw it into the crowd-

The executioner took up his position next to Percivious and raised his _katana_ in a two-handed grip. He was prepared to bring it down upon Percivious, when-

The first firework exploded in the midst of the crowd with a loud _BOOM!_ sending a barrage of colored sparks shooting through the crowd. The crowd was already beginning to panic and run but I was just getting started. I already had two more fireworks lit in either hand and I tossed these at the fleeing _samurai_ and villagers next.

The fireworks exploded with another loud _BOOM!_ and sent even more rainbow sparks shooting off in two different directions this time, which caused even more confusion as people tried to run away. Yep, there was definite chaos now. Something I had a natural talent for producing, I think.

The crowd of spectators panicked and ran in all directions. "We're under attack!" "It's the Vampire Clan!" "The vampires have come to rescue their comrade!" "It's HIM! RUN!" The _samurai_ seemed to be searching the crowd for the source of the chaos a.k.a me, but were having no luck.

The _samurai_ immediately moved into action and began to try and pacify the crowd while others investigated the source of the explosions.

_Now! Chance!_ I ran for the platform stage, lighting and throwing fireworks every which way as I went. I decided to play my part of a crazed, demonic dragon well and made a roaring sound as I passed by the screaming people. "ROARRRRR!" I bellowed.

"It's...a dragon!" "It's the Dragon Seiryuu?!" "The great Dragon God has decided to punish us." And then the predictable decision: "RUNNN!"

That had almost worked too well. I smirked. I may have been hotheaded, reckless, and cocky, but I sure knew how to back all that up and I kicked ass, so yea. I ran up the steps that led to the platform stage and tossed my bag of fireworks aside.

I then pulled out my machete from my belt and attacked the _samurai_ that were still standing guard around Percivious. "Rarrrr!" I charged the _samurai_ who moved in to attack me swiftly as well.

My machete clashed against the _katana_ of one of the _samurai_ but I pushed him back using my unusual strength and as he stumbled backwards I moved in close and headbutted the _samurai_ -

A jab from the left. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I turned and blocked the attack with my machete. Metal rang loudly against metal. I fought against the _samurai_. His movements seemed slow and cumbersome to me with all that armor. I easily moved past his defenses and slashed my machete at his armor chest plate knowing that I wouldn't mortally wound him no matter how hard I hit him, so decided not to hold back. What I did manage to do was end up sending the _samurai_ flying backwards and off the stage and into the crowd. Epic.

"Whoo!" I whistled through my teeth as I watched him fly. Maybe I should have held back just a tiny bit.

There were only two _samurai_ left at this point. They charged at me from both sides. Reckless fools. And I thought I was brash and foolish. I stood and waited until they were almost upon me before I quickly ducked and their blades passed over me and they ended up stabbing each other-

Oops.

Why did their movements seem so slow to me? I couldn't help but wonder. The nun ghost Angela materialized beside me and she floated towards Percivious who had been watching the chaotic proceedings in shock.

"Percivious!" Angela called loudly.

"Angela?!" He stated back, eyes wide.

I ran towards Percivious and stood behind him. I looked at the silver handcuffs that were still painfully searing into his flesh. I raised my machete and brought it down upon the handcuffs-

"Wait, you fool! Those handcuffs are made of an indestructible silver alloy!" Angela tried to warn me.

Too late.

My poor machete shattered upon impact and pieces of metal went flying through the air. A piece grazed the side of my cheek and drew blood. _Shit._

_Crap._ I tossed my now useless machete aside. I grabbed the handcuffs next with my bare hands and took a deep breath. I centered my _chi_ as The Samurai had taught me and gathered my life energy and inner strength.

"Fool! That won't work either!" Angela objected.

"Where did you find this guy?" An amused smile crept to Percivious' face. "I like him."

"Arrrrr!" I cried as I pulled on the handcuffs and shattered them to bits.

Angela's eyes went wide. "Impossible...how could he?"

I moved around to stand in front of Percivious and held out my hand to help him up. "Can you stand, _amigo_?" I asked.

Percivious smiled as he looked up at me and took my hand gratefully, allowing me to help him up. "Yes, thank you, my friend." Percivious nodded gallantly at me.

"Percivious where are your weapons?" Angela asked with a concerned look on her face.

"They're..." Percivious turned to look at a tall, metal pyre that the Elders had set up on the platform stage in order to burn Percivious' broadsword and pistols in a sort of offering to Seiryuu.

"Looking for these?" The Elder said holding up Percivious' sword and pistols. "You won't be getting these!" He cackled before he tossed them into the pyre.

"No!" Percivious cried out but it was too late.

Well, or so everyone else thought. "Watch out, excuse me, coming through." I pushed my way past Percivious and the Elder and put my hands right into the flames of the pyre.

"Hey wait!" Percivious objected.

I grabbed a hold of Percivious' massive sword and his twin pistols before I pulled them out. I wasted no time in tossing them over to Percivious. "Here!" Mission Impossible. Possible.

Percivious caught his still warm weapons from me in a combination of awe and shock. "He's a dragon..." Percivious murmured.

I laughed. "No, _amigo_ , it's just a mask."

The fireworks had done their job well. The air of the Town Square was entirely filled with smoke at this point. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here!" I said.

Percivious nodded. "I second that motion."

Percivious, Angela and I ran (well, Angela sort of floated) through the fleeing crowd of villagers and _samurai_ and to the outskirts of town-

"AHHH it's HIM! Hurry! The vampires are all out to get us!" I cried, making sure to blend in well with the crowd of villagers as we passed them.

Percivious burst out laughing at my antics and Angela began to scold me. "Be serious! We're not out of the woods just yet, pirate!"

A few _samurai_ appeared and stood in our way at that moment as if to prove her point. _Wow, had Angela called that one._ Percivious moved to stand in front of me but I moved to stand in front of him. "You're hurt. Let me handle them." I persisted.

"But you are unarmed," Percivious said, with a small frown on his face

I cracked my knuckles. "Huh? No I'm not. I still have these don't I?" I held up my fists, let out a battle cry and charged the _samurai_. "Arrrrrr!"

Percivious shook his head at me, a bemused expression on his face. "You gotta love this guy!"

The _samurai_ attacked me and I dodged and evaded their swords. I ducked and a sword passed over my head with a _whoosh!_ I moved forward, stood back up, and punched the _samurai_ hard across the face. He was sent flying. I spun and performed a sidekick towards a _samurai_ who was charging me next and got him in the stomach. "Oof!" He was flung backwards with a grunt. In a few seconds, I had a pile of disarmed and knocked out _samurai_ all around me. I wiped my hands off. "Not a bad job, if I do say so myself. I totally kicked ass just now, uh huh."

"Whoo," Percivious whistled through his teeth.

I shot Percivious a cocky smirk. "Now we can go." I said as I took the dragon mask off and tossed it aside.

Angela gave the mask a wistful look. "I'm sorry to see it go, it suited you." She teased.

One of the _samurai_ was gawking at me from his prone position on the ground, his eyes wide with fright. "Ah! It's you...!" He said raising his shaking hand to point at me. "Machete Quartermaster of the _Wandering Wolf_ ...bounty one hundred pieces-of-eight for having defeated Captain Gluttony though since Captain Gluttony's remains were destroyed there wasn't enough proof to give you a higher bounty!"

I turned to give the _samurai_ a curious look. "There's a Wanted Poster out for me?" I asked and stalked over to kneel by the _samurai_ 's side. I grinned and my eyes held an evil gleam in them. "Show me."

The _samurai_ gulped and used his remaining strength to reach into his _haori_ shirt and pull out the Wanted Poster. He handed it to me with his shaking hand before he passed out cold.

I took the Wanted Poster, which read:

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

(pic)

QUARTERMASTER

MACHETE

100 pieces-of-eight

The ink drawing that had been done of me must have been by someone who had seen me fighting Captain Gluttony on the _Davey Jones' Hunger_ because there I was shirtless and wielding my machete, which was covered in flames since I had dipped my machete in oil and then smashed the oil lamp with it. I raised an eyebrow since I had this ferocious expression and looked out for blood...well, I had been out for Captain Gluttony's blood that was for sure. There was also this cocky smirk on my face. Percivious peered over my shoulder at the Wanted Poster and whistled.

"Whoo. One hundred pieces-of-eight. That's not bad for your first bounty, lad. I'm impressed. And the _samurai_ said you took out Captain Gluttony? I'm even more impressed. You're a very interesting man, you know that? I wonder what other secrets are hidden up your sleeve."

I had mixed feelings about my Wanted Poster. This meant that I was officially a pirate and even had a bounty on my head. A pirate. I hated pirates but I guess I had already become one. _One hundred pieces-of-eight...?_ I wondered if I could go turn myself in to the Sea Forces and get the money for my own bounty. Damn, that was tempting. I shook my head and decided I'd think about this later. I stuffed the Wanted Poster in my pants' pocket and turned to nod at Percivious signaling that we should get going. We ran through the cherry blossom forest and made our way to Blacksmith Muramasa's house without further ado.

"My name is Percivious." Percivious introduced himself to me as we ran. "And you're Machete right? I gathered that much from the poster. I want to make sure I know the name of the man that I owe my life to."

"I already know who you are Percivious, Master Gunner and Vampire Priest." I informed him before I introduced myself officially. "And yes my name is Machete. The poster was accurate in that I am the _Wandering Wolf's_ Quartermaster. Let's get something straight - I didn't save your life for free, Percivious." I turned to stare at the gunner with a sly glint in my eyes.

"Oh?" Percivious raised a pale eyebrow at me.

"I want you to join the pirate crew of the _Wandering Wolf_ and become our Master Gunner!" I declared.

"You want _me_ to become a _pirate_?" Percivious gave me a surprised look. "So let me get this straight – you want me to rape, pillage and plunder unsuspecting villages before burning them to the ground and then moving to the next island and doing the same?"

My eyes widened. "No! We're not those kinds of pirates...we're...treasure hunters really. We're currently on a quest in search of Captain Pride's treasure."

"I see...perhaps HE knows of this treasure and is also searching for it. That would explain his hunt for the map." Percivious stroked his chin in thought. "Machete." Percivious put a hand on my arm. "I would be happy to join your crew and become your Master Gunner." Percivious gave me a charming smile and his teeth seemed to sparkle.

I shoved him back. " _Amigo_ , save those types of smiles for the _señoritas_. And technically it's not _my_ crew. It's my brother's. He's the Captain of the _Wandering Wolf_. You could say my brother is the brains of this outfit and I'm the brawn. Who is this guy you were referring to?"

"One of the Seven Deadly Pirates. He's known as Captain Wrath. He's also known as being the very first vampire. He's the vampire who turned me. I'm on a personal quest to find him and kill him." Percivious explained.

Well, that sure explained a whole lot. "Well, I'll help you face Captain Wrath but in return you have to promise to be the _Wandering Wolf_ 's Master Gunner, savvy?" I spit into the palm of my hand and then stuck my hand out for Percivious to shake.

Percivious raised an eyebrow at my motion before shrugging, spitting into the palm of his hand and shaking my hand with gusto. "Savvy. It's a deal."

***

Percivious, Angela and I soon arrived at Blacksmith Muramasa's house, and let me tell you it was perfect timing – everyone was just sitting down for dinner.

"FOOD! Finally! And is that meat I smell, yes!" I said loudly as I approached the long table where my friends were all seated. I picked up a pair of chopsticks and stared at the simmering, metal pot of stock, which contained meat and vegetables, in the center of the table. I learned later that this Asian dish was called a hot pot. I aimed for a piece of meat, got it and stuffed it into my mouth, beginning to dig in. " _Carne, por fin, gracias a Dios!_ Meat! Finally! Pure bliss!"

Everyone's attention had fixated upon Percivious, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway, probably wondering if he should enter or not. "Um, hello, pardon the intrusion..."

"Yo Percivious!" I called over my shoulder, my mouth full of meat, "What are you doing just standing there _mi amigo_!? Come sit down and join us. Everyone, meet Percivious. Percivious this is...everyone." Okay, so I sucked at introductions, but so sue me they took way too much time. "Percivious has agreed to become our Master Gunner, yay, isn't that great? So now it's time to celebrate...bring out more meat _sensei_!" I ordered Muramasa.

Onigiri slammed his hands down on the table and stood up. "You...?! Percivious!" He then turned to glare at me. "Machete! I told you not to get involved with this...monster! And yet you saved him and even brought him to my father's home! I can't believe this. Not only that, but you want this _monster_ to join our crew? I won't allow it. He's a vampire. He must..." Onigiri drew his sword and pointed it at Percivious. "Die."

"I agree with Onigiri." Lust said eyeing Percivious coldly. "He's a vampire. He can't be trusted. He'll eat all of us in our sleep."

Percivious was scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Oh dear...I don't feed from humans though...only small animals..." Percivious then caught sight of Rosie clinging to Onigiri's back, with her bright red eyes, and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Your hatred for vampires runs deep, _samurai_. However, it makes me wonder why you have that child with you...?"

"That's none of your business, bloodsucker." Onigiri said in a low voice.

Percivious shrugged. "That's like the pot calling the kettle black I think." He grinned and Onigiri gave Percivious a furious look.

"He'll kill Don Juan!" Moreno randomly burst out.

Don Juan flew off of Moreno's shoulder and sought a perch that was farther away from Percivious. "Don't eat me! Don't eat me! Don't eat me!"

But then Anemone stood up and suddenly approached Percivious. "You're hurt!" Anemone exclaimed as she eyed the large, bleeding wound in the center of his chest.

Percivious gave Anemone a warm smile. "I'll be alright. I heal quickly. Thank you for your concern though, my lady."

But Anemone would have none of that. "Nonsense! You're coming with me!" Anemone grabbed Percivious' wrist and began to drag him over to one of the chairs. She sat him down in a motherly manner and then reached out and began to strip him of his bloody, white priest jacket.

Santiago watched this in horror. "Lady Anemone...!"

Anemone quickly and skillfully stripped Percivious of his jacket and then his shirt, so that he was soon bare-chested in front of her. He had a pale, well-muscled torso with an eight pack – but there was a huge gapping hole in his chest that was oozing blood. It looked painful.

Amano gave Percivious an appreciative look. "What a handsome man. He's definitely my type." Strike!

Anemone put her hand over the wound and her eyes widened. "Your blood is warm...it's like you're alive. You can feel pain too can't you? And they left your wound this way...how cruel. Wait just a moment." Anemone rushed to a nearby table and fetched a needle and thread as well as supplies to disinfect Percivious' wound. She came back to Percivious' side and first disinfected his wound thoroughly before she then threaded a needle. "This may sting a little." Anemone declared before she set to work and began sewing Percivious' wound closed.

He flinched but other than that he didn't move nor make a sound as Anemone sewed his wound back up. He took it like a man. Anemone was right though: he could bleed, and feel pain. He wasn't so unlike 'us' after all. Anemone began to have a little trouble towards the end and gave Percivious an apologetic look as she tugged at his skin. "Sorry." She murmured.

However, Amano reached out to stop Anemone and took the needle from her hand unexpectedly. "Allow me to finish this." Amano declared as he skillfully began to sew the rest of Percivious' wound closed and didn't tug or pull at his skin at all.

Lust was giving Anemone and Amano an incredulous look. While Onigiri still had his sword pointed in Percivious' direction as if to say silently 'if you make so much as one wrong move, you're dead, vampire'.

Amano finished quickly and Anemone began to wipe the blood off of Percivious' chest with a small towel. Percivious gave Anemone a soft look. "Thank you...and thank you for not being afraid of me and for not treating me like a monster, but for treating me like a human being. It's been such a long time since someone has treated me so kindly."

"Long time? Understatement. It's probably been hundreds of years. Vampires are such an abomination..." Lust spat.

"You're right. We are an abomination." Percivious sighed. "My soul has already been damned to hell...I'm like a walking memory or shade of my past self. I would kill myself but...I need to kill Captain Wrath, a vampire much more evil and bloodthirsty than me, first. Only then can I die. I didn't choose to become a vampire. I had no choice, I..." Percivious clenched his fists at his sides and seemed unable to go on as he remembered something.

"Captain Wrath..." Lust murmured and had turned white as a sheet.

Angela materialized next to Percivious suddenly and everyone gasped simultaneously.

"A g-g-ghost?!" Moreno said loudly pointing his finger at her.

"Oi!" I said to Angela, "I thought that I was special since I was able to see you?"

Angela gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry but...anyone can see me. It's just easier to get people to help you if they think they're the only one that can see or hear you, and that it must be their destiny to help you or something. Anyways..." Angela looked over at Percivious. "He chose to become a vampire in order to save me from an awful fate. He doesn't feed upon humans, only small rodents. He is not the monster you all think he is..." Angela gave Percivious a loving glance.

"Rodents?" Lust scoffed, a little color returning to her cheeks, "You think that actually works? It may sate some of a vampire's craving, yes, but not all of it. A vampire who only feeds upon animals will always be at war with himself and his natural instinct, which is to feed upon humans. A vampire like that is a danger to everyone in this room...there's no telling when he'll just _snap_." Lust broke her chopstick in two.

Angela gave Lust a heated look. "Percivious has complete control over his bloodlust!"

"Say...Sister...how did you die, exactly? I'm curious?" Lust's silver eyes glittered with malice.

Angela suddenly looked stricken. Uh oh. Perhaps Lust had hit the nail on the head. "I..."

"He killed you didn't he? One day he just lost control and bit you and couldn't stop drinking your blood until...well, now you're dead. And now you're a vengeful ghost out for revenge against the man who killed you right?" Lust said insistently.

"No! I'm not a vengeful ghost! You're wrong! I...I returned to this plane because I didn't want to leave him behind. That's why I'm here...because I still yearn to be by his side no matter what!" Angela declared passionately.

Percivious let out a heavy sigh and put his hands out before him in a helpless gesture. "It's quite troublesome really, having this stalking ghost. I mean, really, she should just move on already. It's not like I'm lonely...there are plenty of pretty girls here in the mortal plane to keep me company. Girls to keep my bed warm at night, Angela. Women with warm, soft bodies, rosy cheeks...and a pulse." Percivious said almost coldly as he put his arm around Anemone's shoulders and brought her close to him in a half-hug. "You're nothing but a pest Angela, why don't you please rest in peace..."

Anemone squeaked in surprise as Percivious pulled her closer to the side of his chest.

Tears filled Angela's sky-blue eyes. "Percivious...how could you...?" Angela moaned before she floated out of the room, and didn't use the door but just floated straight though the back wall instead.

I stood up and approached Percivious. I raised my hand and punched him hard across the face. Percivious turned to look at me in surprise. "That was for making your lover cry." I said. _For making a woman cry..._

"Lover?" Percivious raised an eyebrow at me. Percivious took his arm from around Anemone's shoulders now that Angela was out of the room. "How much did Angela tell you about...us?"

"Just that she loves you. What more do I need to know to understand that you hurt her just now. Why did you do that?" I demanded.

"I...keep trying to make Angela get angry enough with me so that she will move on to the other side – to heaven. But she insists on staying by my side. And yet I...am the one who killed her. I loved her." Percivious said but then his eyes widened, as he seemed to think of something. "No, I _still_ love her. That's why I wish for her soul to be free and happy and to find peace. I only wish for her eternal happiness."

"How does a nun fall in love with a priest anyways?" I asked.

"Ah, now that's a long story..." Percivious said tucking a strand of his wavy blonde hair behind his ear.

I sat down on a chair, backwards, and gave Percivious an intent look. "I've got time."

Percivious gave me a chagrinned look. "Well, I wasn't always a priest...before I was a priest I was a Sea Forces officer and before that I fought in the War of the Roses, in the French Religious Wars and even the Sack of Rome where I personally protected Pope Clement VII from the mutinous troops of the Holy Roman Emperor. Sometime before that I was a Templar Knight. That's when I met Angela."

"So then tell us Percivious how a Templar Knight and a nun fall in love." I smirked.

"Forbidden love." Anemone breathed and her eyes seemed to turn into hearts. "That is just so romantic."

"Well, it's a rather long story...if only I had a drink to help with the pain of my wound, I think I might be able to manage it." Percivious drawled, offhandedly.

Hotaru was surprisingly at his side in an instant handing him a _sake_ cup, which she began to pour _sake_ into from a white, porcelain bottle. Anemone brought a pillow, which she fluffed and put behind the knight's back. And Amano brought over a footstool for the knight. Lust seemed to be the only girl who was not completely enamored by Percivious and continued to shoot him dark, wary looks. (And yes I know Amano is _technically_ not a girl).

_Her hatred of vampires must run deep,_ I realized as I watched Lust eyeing Percivious like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"More than four hundred years ago I was a Templar Knight assigned with protecting the pilgrims who were traveling to the holy city of Jerusalem from Muslim bandits. We were also fighting to protect Jerusalem from the Muslim Arabs and from one extremely powerful Arabian Sultan in particular named Saladin.

"So there I was fighting the Arabs to protect the Holy Land. I was a warrior for God - God's sword upon this earth. The Arabs were dark-skinned, desert people who wore several layers of clothing to protect themselves from the scorching sun. They wore turbans on their heads and had wicked curved swords strapped to their waists called scimitars.

"My best friend Dimitri was also a Templar Knight. He was a serious fellow but he always watched my back. We fought many battles together side by side. We were more than friends. We were comrades, brothers in arms.

"And then, one day we were assigned to protect a convent in the Holy Land from an approaching army of Arabs. We must have killed hundreds of them. The nuns were very kind and even though men were forbidden entrance they let the Templar Knights inside the convent in order to treat our wounds, offer us food, and provide us with rooms to sleep in. I remember it was such a treat having those pretty nuns serve us dinner and tend to our wounds. We may have made vows of celibacy, but there's something _special_ about the interaction between a man and a woman...though I will say we were all perfect gentlemen towards the ladies.

"Now, I was a Templar Knight, a warrior monk, and had sworn a vow of celibacy. Women and love were the furthest thing from my mind but...when I first laid eyes upon Angela - I fell in love. Our eyes met and it was like fireworks. It felt like electricity was running through my veins, my heart started to pound loudly in my chest and I became flushed just by gazing upon her. It was love at first sight.

"At first I was appalled. I had read poems in Latin about 'love' and what it could do to a man, but I never expected to experience the phenomenon first hand. I had fallen in love with a nun at that – a woman who was married to God. A Bride of God. She was forbidden fruit.

"We tore our eyes away from each other, knowing that our love could never be, that it was forbidden. Silently we both knew though that we had felt a very special connection.

"Ironically, around the same time, a similar occurrence was happening to my friend Dimitri. He had been dining with his men when one of the nuns was passing by his table with a tray of food and tripped. She fell forward but Dimitri stood up and caught the nun as well as the tray and everything that was on it using his incredible balance and battle honed reflexes.

"When the nun Estella looked up at Dimitri and he looked down at her and their eyes met – Dimitri told me it was love at first sight."

"There's no such thing as love at first sight. That's ridiculous." Onigiri declared, interrupting the story.

"Not so, my skeptical friend." I said. "I've witnessed love at first sight with my own eyes...when Anemone and Santiago first saw each other they immediately fell in love with each other and-"

"Ah! Please, do continue your story, sir knight!" My brother interrupted me by putting his hand over my mouth.

Percivious looked amused. "Right,...anyways, so Dimitri and I both had the misfortune to fall in love with nuns. But we didn't have much time to worry about 'love' anyways because the Muslim Arabs just kept sending more and more warriors against us. I watched my comrades die in battle all around me and I couldn't even save them. I felt so powerless and then...only Dimitri and I were left.

"Because of this you could say that my friendship with Dimitri became even more important to me. He was my last, remaining comrade. I wouldn't lose him no matter what, I decided. The only problem was that Dimitri and I were the only knights left to protect St. Mary's Convent...

"That last battle had been a fierce one. Dimitri and I had moved as one and had slain over a hundred men by ourselves. We were covered in horrible wounds and bruises as a result however. You could say we were dead men walking. I was injured pretty badly and so Angela volunteered to tend to my wounds...

"That had been a mistake. I was wounded all over my entire body and so had to strip down to nothing but my undergarments as she sewed my cuts and wrapped my wounds with cloth bandages and then wiped the blood from my skin with a damp towel. The places were she had touched me burned with a feverish desire. I became overly conscious of her presence.

"And it turned out that both of us were feeling the same way. After just a few moments we were both flushed, hot, bothered and panting for breath just from being so close. We hadn't even done anything sexual. We looked at each other in that exact moment and we just knew we had opened Pandora's box.

" 'I must take my leave, Sir Knight!' Angela said as she stood up quickly to leave.

" 'Wait, fair maiden!' I reached out my hand to stop her.

"She looked down at my hand on hers and she knew she could resist temptation no longer. She let me pull her towards me-

" 'May God forgive me and have mercy on my soul.' She said before I pulled her close so that I could kiss her."

Percivious paused in his tale when he noticed that everyone was leaning forward expectantly. Moreno was literally about to fall out of his chair.

Percivious chuckled. "Sorry but I don't kiss and tell. Suffice it to say that-"

"Aw mannn!" Moreno moaned. "Come on, _mi amigo_ , we're all adults here!"

Percivious raised an eyebrow at Moreno and coughed into his hand. I hit Moreno over the back of his head to shut him up. "Ahem, Angela and I made love that night. That's how we began our forbidden love. During the day I would battle the Arabs and at night I would get to eat Angela's home cooking and then we would meet up in secret at night and give into sin. If anyone had found out we would have both been executed for our crime: our crime of falling in love.

"My friend Dimitri, however, didn't have my luck. He and Estella met together secretly, but she wouldn't let him do more than kiss and touch her. Estella was not ready to give up her vows for love, for a mortal man, for sin.

"And this was driving the both of them crazy, especially my poor friend Dimitri. To be so close to the woman you love and yet not to be able to touch her...was maddening. I could see that it was driving him mad. I saw it on the battlefield. He fought like a demon, a man possessed.

"He became angry and hateful. I had never seen him like that. He was jealous of God whom Estella was married to. He wanted one of God's brides for his own after all. He knew he was wearing Estella down, however, and that she would soon cave into her earthly desires even though it was clear she didn't want to.

"But Dimitri didn't care. He had already decided if it meant that he would get to make love to her that he was willing to be a selfish tyrant. But things didn't quite go as Dimitri had planned. Estella knew she was 'this close' to breaking her vows...and so instead of giving into 'sin' Estella went to the top of the tallest tower in St. Mary's Convent and threw herself out the window. She died upon impact – instantly.

"Covered from head to toe in the blood of God's enemies, Dimitri and I arrived back to St. Mary's Convent that day to discover Estella's body...just lying there. I remember Dimitri's stricken and horrified face to this day. I saw the exact moment when my friend broke and became someone else.

" 'NOOOO! Estella!' He roared and stalked over to her broken, lifeless body, picked it up into his arms and charged into the cathedral. I chased after him worriedly, wondering what he could possibly be up to.

"Dimitri lay Estella before the alter in front of the impressive golden cross that was hung upon the back wall of the cathedral. He looked angry and hateful as he glared up at the cross. 'Why?! Why did you take her from me? Why didn't you protect her? You're God aren't you? I fought for you – bled for you! I killed your enemies and risked my life for you and yet you let the woman I love die! She died because of you! Just because of some stupid vow of celibacy, because she was married to you! You didn't want me to have her did you?! Well, too bad, I'll have her now...I'll make her mine!'

"My friend declared as he leaned over and kissed Estella's lifeless body, her cold, dead corpse. I was absolutely horrified. 'Dimitri! No! Don't!' I cried.

"But Dimitri didn't stop. He continued to kiss and touch Estella passionately before looking up at the cross. 'I curse you, God!'

" 'Dimitri no!' I shouted in warning. But it was already too late. Dimitri had angered God, cursed and insulted him, and God was sure to punish him. And punish Dimitri he did.

"He turned Dimitri into a vampire. The very first vampire. I watched it happen...watched as my best friend was turned into a monster, with claws, abnormally long incisors, and a thirst for blood.

" 'Dimitri...what have you done? What have you become?' I asked in shock. I watched in horror as Dimitri began to strip the clothes off of Estella's body. I tried to stop him but he punched me hard across the face and knocked me out cold. In his new monstrous form he had acquired an inhumane strength.

"I woke up the next day to find Estella's body and Dimitri gone from St. Mary's Convent. I had been left alone to defend it. I fought battles everyday against twenty, thirty men, all on my own. But then the Muslim Arabs found out there was only one knight left and decided to send their entire remaining force against me – a force of five hundred men.

"I was finally overcome and killed. I had managed to kill over two hundred men until I fell. I watched as the remaining Muslim Arabs took the nuns out of the convent, set fire to the building and began to watch it burn.

"I watched helplessly as an Arab dragged Angela out of the convent, watched as he pushed her down to the ground and began to rip the clothes off of her. I didn't even have the strength to move. I was dying and this was the last thing I was going to see in the world of the living – the woman I loved being raped. I thought that this was too cruel. God was too cruel.

" 'Damn you...God...' I murmured. Thinking that no one would hear me. But someone did.

" 'Finally,' came a drawling voice and I moved my eyes to the side to see Dimitri standing there with a smirk on his face. 'I've been waiting for the day you too would curse him. That day came sooner than I thought.' Dimitri had a severed arm in his hand and I watched as he took a bite out of it casually as if it were an apple. I felt bile rise up into my throat. 'God's a cruel son of a bitch isn't he?' Dimitri said conversationally. 'Why, just look at you. After all the Arabs you killed for God – this is his reward? And look at what he did to me?' Blood was dripping down Dimitri's chin. 'He turned me into a monster! How would you like to take revenge on God with me? I can make you like me...do you want immortality Percivious? If you become like me you can save the woman you love-'

" 'Percivious! Help me! Percivious! Save me! Noooo! Oh God! Please no!' I heard Angela's screams.

" 'Save me. Do whatever it takes. Hurry.' I told Dimitri. And sold my soul to a devil.

"Dimitri looked pleased and nodded. He tossed the arm aside and then he knelt by my side and leaned over me before sinking his teeth into my neck and drinking my blood. He pulled back quickly and then used one of his long, sharp nails to cut a gash in the palm of his hand. He then held his bleeding hand out to my mouth. 'Now drink, my friend, and damn your soul to hell.'

" 'PERCIVIOUS!'

"I drank. And I was changed. Just as that bastard Muslim was about to enter Angela I pulled him off of her and broke his neck with a twist of my hand. I then killed the rest of the desert warriors in order to save the nuns. I fed on the fallen bodies of the Arabs like an animal. I couldn't control my bloodlust. I was nothing but a monster.

"Covered in blood, feeding from a dead Arab, Angela found me this way upon the battlefield hours later. I looked up and our eyes met. 'Angela, don't look...don't come any closer...I've become a monster...I don't want you see me like this...' I said and began to cry tears of blood. Vampires cannot cry salt tears, you see.

" 'Percivious...' Angela didn't listen to me though and rushed to my side, and cupped my face in her hands in a loving gesture and stared into my eyes searchingly. 'You are the man I love. You are not a monster. You did this to yourself to save my life. Surely God saw that. Surely God understands – he'll forgive you if you ask him, he'll-'

" 'No, it's too late for me, Angela, my soul has already been damned to hell. I'm leaving here. I'm going to go far away...from you. I'm already a danger to you now.'

" 'I'm coming with you! You are still the man I love...together we can look for a cure to your curse. Just as we fought for our forbidden love...we'll fight together for this too. There is always hope.' Angela insisted. 'We're both still 'alive', that's a gift. We need to stay together. Together forever. If we don't find a cure for you...you can turn me like you. I will always fight for our love against everything, even God if I have to.'

" 'Angela...' I couldn't believe how much she loved me.

"Angela ended up accompanying me on what would be a fruitless journey to find a cure for my current condition. We decided to leave Dimitri behind and in a sense fled from him and any plans he may have had for me. Angela stayed with me through thick and thin, and we continued to fight for our love.

"However, Dimitri hunted us down and found us. He seemed angry and jealous of our love. I think he must have been jealous that unlike Estella Angela had chosen me over God. Angela's love for me was greater than Angela's love for God even. Estella had ultimately loved God more and chosen him over Dimitri.

"I think that's why Dimitri decided to test our love. He began to push my bloodlust to its limits. I had sworn never to feed upon humans again after the day I rescued Angela and so had started feeding on animals. Dimitri began to plant the seed of an evil idea in my mind. He said that I could feed off of Angela if she'd let me and that I didn't have to kill her. I would just have to stop drinking before her heart stopped. And then I would become more powerful as well and gain the power needed to protect Angela.

"The idea became all I thought about. Until one day, when Angela and I were making love I couldn't hold myself back and I bit her. I drank and drank and completely lost control of myself and I...killed her.

"I remember how she lay on the bed, gasping for breath and looked at me. 'Are you going to make me like you now?' She asked me innocently, hope in her eyes, no reproach or hate, nothing of the kind. Just acceptance. She loved me so much. She could look at me like that even though I was killing her...

"How could she still look at me like that? I had betrayed her. I took her hands in mine and shook my head. 'No...I will not condemn your soul to hell. I love you too much.' I declared.

"Angela looked stricken but I would not curse the woman I loved no matter how much she begged me to do so. I did not turn her into a vampire and instead I let her die. I did not save her...."

"Yes you did." I interrupted Percivious. "You saved Angela's soul by not making her a vampire."

"Thank you for saying so, Machete." Percivious gave me a grateful look. "Angela's a pretty stubborn woman though. She didn't want to leave my side and so she came back as a ghost to haunt me." Percivious chuckled and I saw that there were blood red tears in his eyes. "Dimitri and I lived on. We fought in other people's wars since fighting was the only thing we knew how to do. The War of Roses. The French Wars of Religion. The Sack of Rome. And finally we became a part of the Sea Force's navy that protect these seas from pirates.

"As time passed, Dimitri seemed to become even more hateful and vengeful. He began to turn more and more people into vampires. He always seemed restless, as if he was searching for something but it was always slipping through his grasp. He had gone crazy with bloodlust, I think. He began calling himself by a new name...and later he became known as Captain Wrath once he got hold of a ship of his own. Currently, he's gone completely out of control. That's why I need to kill him...and then I plan to kill myself so that Angela can finally move on."

Lust suddenly collapsed in a faint out of her chair and fell to the ground in a heap.

"Lust!" I went to her side, picked her up off the floor, and cradled her in my arms. "What the hell...Lust!" I tried to pat her cheek as gently as I could.

After a few moments Lust stirred awake in my arms and stared up at me confusedly. "Machete...?"

"Yea..."

"Unhand me at once."

"Right..." I pouted as I helped Lust to stand.

Muramasa had been quietly listening to the entire tale. The Blacksmith stood up and walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Machete...you have already passed your test. I will tell you where Seiryuu's lair is and tomorrow you shall go there and face him. I believe you can defeat him, as my son also believes in you. Perhaps my son is right and you are fated to be the wielder of the Flame Sword."

My eyes widened and I looked at Muramasa in shock, giving him a look of pure gratitude. " _Sensei_ ...!"

***

Later that night, I had wandered into the kitchen for a midnight snack and was preparing myself a meat sandwich when I saw Lust exit her room and head for Percivious' room. She had a preoccupied expression on her face and I wondered what she could possibly be up to at that hour. The perverted part of my brain wondered if she planned to seduce the vampire but...the logical side of my brain told me that was absolutely ridiculous since Lust _hated_ vampires...right?

Lust kicked the door to Percivious' room open and caught him pulling out a Knight's Templar uniform with the red cross on it.

Lust's eyes went livid. "You have the uniform...you! You liar! You're a part of HIS army aren't you?!" Lust pulled out her cutlass and lunged into attack at Percivious.

"Whoa." Percivious turned around and then lithely dodged out of the way. "Hang on, my lady, I can assure you that I am _not_ a part of Captain Wrath's army!"

"Liar!" Lust lunged her sword at Percivious again and he dodged skillfully. "Then why are you really here...Captain Wrath sent you to kill me didn't he?! Well...I'll kill you first!" She swung her sword in order to decapitate Percivious and he ducked.

She took a few strands of his blonde hair with that strike.

"Aw man..." Percivious bemoaned the loss of his hair. "And Angela said she likes my hair long. My lady Lust...what can I do to make you believe me that I was not sent here by Captain Wrath and that I pose no threat to you?"

"You can die! That's what, vampire!" Lust declared as she lunged her sword forward again.

"Alright then, kill me." Percivious said suddenly as he stood, facing her and didn't move.

"Die vampire!" Lust cried as she lunged her sword forward, towards his heart.

I almost burst into the room; however, Lust's sword stopped an inch away from his heart. Lust looked up at Percivious quizzically. "Why didn't you dodge?"

"Kill me if you must...my lady. I feel responsible for my friend's actions. He must have hurt you-" Percivious was saying when Lust pressed her sword against his throat to silence him.

"Shut up. You don't know anything." She lowered her sword and gave him an incomprehensible look. "You fool. The next time you let your guard down around me, I _will_ kill you." She declared before she sheathed her cutlass. "I still don't trust you, vampire." She sneered before turning on her heel and heading for the door. With her back to Percivious she asked one more question. "Percivious...that story you told the others...was it true?"

"Yes?" Percivious raised an eyebrow at her. "Why do you ask?"

"Did the nun Estella really throw herself off of a tower?" Lust asked wrapping her arms around herself.

"Yes..."

"I think she made the right choice." Lust declared before she left.

_Epp!_ I quickly hid in the trash bin as Lust passed by and wondered why I had done something so stupid to begin with. _Damn...I'm going to need to take a bath now. How troublesome._

### Chapter 11: Well, blow me down?

The following morning Blacksmith Muramasa gave us directions on how to reach Seiryuu's lair, which was at the top of Mount Fuji. He also gave us instructions on what we would have to do when we got there. He was also generous enough to lend me one of his _katana_ since my machete was no more. Dulce, Corazón, Anemone, Lust and Amano were told to stay behind since according to Muramasa this undertaking was going to be very dangerous. Lust and Anemone had both objected to the idea of being left behind, but Santiago gave them a direct order to stay at Muramasa's house and so they grudgingly agreed in the end. After that my traveling companions and I set out on our journey to the Dragon Beast God's lair.

I scratched the back of my neck; the hairs there were prickling in warning. I kept looking behind my shoulder expecting to see that we were being followed but saw no one. _Weird..._ I thought. And then-

_Whoosh!_ Onigiri's hand shot out and grabbed a _kunai_ (a type of _ninja_ dagger) that had been sent my way from the shadows of the nearby cherry blossom trees with his bare hand. The _kunai_ cut deeply into Onigiri's hand and he tossed the _kunai_ aside and glared into the surrounding trees. In one fluid motion Onigiri unsheathed his _katana_ and pointed it at the trees.

"Show yourselves, cowards!" He called.

From out of the cherry blossom trees emerged a group of at least one hundred _samurai_. (You would think that Sakura Village would have run out of Monster Hunter _samurai_ to send our way but apparently they had a surplus of people on Asian islands). They were dressed in full battle armor – horned helmets on their heads, chest armor, greaves, arm guards, and deadly looking _katana_ in their hands.

Onigiri had forgotten to cover his and Rosie's head with a scarf. Oops. And so Onigiri was immediately recognized.

A _samurai_ stepped forward, "Onigiri! Captain Tiburón informed us that you were here on the isle...you traitor!" I watched as Onigiri cringed at the word 'traitor'.

"Traitor?" I raised my eyebrow at the _samurai_. I then began to pick wax out of my ear in an obstinate gesture. "From what I heard he completed his mission and killed every vampire that was onboard that cursed ship except for a small vampire child. I would hardly consider that betraying your clan." I drawled.

Onigiri shot me a surprised look that I had stuck up for him.

The _samurai_ glared at me and clenched his hands at his side. "His mission was to hunt every single vampire that was onboard that foul ship...and yet he let one remain alive." The _samurai_ pointed his _katana_ at Rosie, who was smiling and giggling at the sight of a sword being pointed her way. "That creature is no innocent child...!"

"Oooo! Teeheee! Teehee!" Rosie clapped her pudgy, little hands together and cried out as her red eyes gleamed with excitement and anticipation for blood to be spraying through the air soon.

"That child is an abomination!" The _samurai_ declared, "An immortal child...!" He shook his head. "She must be killed!"

Onigiri remained stoically silent, his sword still raised before him.

"Abomination? Says who?" I had finished picking the wax out of my ear and flicked it in the _samurai_ 's direction. " _You?_ What do _you_ know? I promised Onigiri that we'd find Rosie a cure. And I never break my promises. Tell me, _samurai_ , have you sailed the _entire_ Seven Seas?" I asked.

The _samurai_ frowned at me. "No..."

I smirked. "Have you talked to God personally and asked him if this child's soul cannot be saved from hell?"

"No..."

"Aha! Then what you really know is jack shit." I grinned. "There is still hope. We're going to save that child. Count on it."

Onigiri was giving me a surprised and wide-eyed look. " _Machete_ ..."

"Hope is for the naïve. That child is nothing but an abomination...the vampires are on the move...trying to take over the Seven Seas. There are rumors that HE is building an army or rather a fleet. We can't let a single vampire slip through our fingers because it could already be too late!" The _samurai_ glared at Onigiri. "Onigiri. You are a traitor and a rogue _samurai_. The sentence for your crimes is – death. We _samurai_ have no interest in the price that's on your head. We put it there. A Monster Hunter who won't kill a monster...has lost his true purpose. Vampire-lover! Traitor! You will die! The company you keep is atrocious..." He turned to look at Sloth next. "A werewolf and I know a siren witch is also a part of your crew. They shall die as well!" The _samurai_ tossed the Wanted Posters down on the ground at our feet.

I cracked my knuckles and took a step forward. I wanted to beat the shit out of these cocky _samurai_ ; however, I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Onigiri. He shook his head at me.

"No, Machete. If you fight them then you'll have fallen into his trap. Captain Tiburón sent them here to slow your progress to Seiryuu. He's afraid...if you manage to defeat Seiryuu, retrieve the mystical dragon fang, and have Muramasa forge you a magical sword that has elemental control over fire then Captain Tiburón will be in trouble. Fire is water's direct weakness and enemy. He sees you as a threat. That's why he turned the others and I in to the Monster Hunter Clan and tricked them into coming here to _stop you_.

"But Captain Tiburón's plan won't work. I can handle these _samurai_ on my own. I want you to continue your journey. My Father accepted you – he accepts no one. I believe in you. Now...go!" Onigiri waved back to the mountain path.

I blinked back at Onigiri in shock. He wanted me to leave him behind to face one hundred enemies on his own?! No frickin way. "No-" I began to object, however-

My brother Santiago, the voice of reason, interrupted me, "Machete...he's right. This is Captain Tiburón's trap...we need to keep moving forward. I think...Captain Tiburón intends to get the dragon fang for himself! Then he'd be in possession of two magical swords! We can't let that happen. We have to hurry!"

"I can't just leave him alone-" I continued, stubbornly, a frown on my face.

"He won't be." Came a confident sounding voice. From out of the trees stepped Percivious.

"Percivious!?" I exclaimed.

Percivious' entire torso was still heavily bandaged and I could see a small amount of blood seeping through the white bandages. Percivious took out his twin pistols from a holster around his waist and as he came to stand next to Onigiri he pointed the pistols at the _samurai_.

Onigiri turned to glare at Percivious. "I don't need nor want the help of some vampire. I _despise_ your kind..."

Percivious raised an eyebrow at Onigiri. "Indeed, you keep saying that but...the vampire baby on your back doesn't make your words sound very convincing, my friend."

Onigiri's eye twitched. "Rosie is just an exception!"

"Uh huh." Percivious didn't appear to be too convinced.

"Grrr...." Onigiri growled low in his throat, and grit his teeth.

Percivious flipped his long, wavy hair before turning to me and winking. "You don't have to worry about him, Machete. I've got his back. Whether he wants me to or not. I won't let anything happen to him or the baby so...go on ahead. You must continue your quest! You will become the wielder of the Flame Sword. I believe in you, Quartermaster!"

"Percivious..." I nodded. I trusted and believed in Percivious' skill too so the feeling was mutual. Onigiri was also incredibly skilled and possessed the Wind Sword. Together, they probably _were_ a match for the one hundred _samurai_. "Alright, let's go, guys!" I declared as we all took off running towards the mountain path.

The _samurai_ tried to cut us off but Onigiri and Percivious used their incredible speed to get in front of the _samurai_ and block their path to us. I looked behind us and saw Onigiri and Percivious standing side by side and facing off with the _samurai,_ who looked pissed that their way to us had been blocked. I gave them a grateful look. I'd have to buy those two guys a _Bumboo_ when all this was over.

We left Onigiri and Percivious behind and continued our way up the steep mountain path. Until...Kouzin-Zaka, one of Captain Tiburón's Elite Pirate Guard, stepped out from the cherry blossom trees and out into our path. Kouzin-Zaka's appearance was as intimidating as ever with his skin that was blacker than Moreno's. I was sure at night that he could probably blend in with the shadows. He towered over me by at least two feet, had bulging muscles, not an ounce of fat on his bones, a shaved head and I noticed the swirling, blue tattoos on his skin that seemed to resemble magical symbols. His eyes looked like a pair of golden snake eyes and he had slightly pointed ears.

"Kouzin-Zaka..." Sloth said as he recognized the Haitian pirate.

"Captain Sloth..." Kouzin-Zaka grinned revealing slightly pointed, gleaming white teeth. "Long time no see, mon..."

"Sloth?" I questioned.

Sloth sighed heavily. "Go on...get out of here, lad. Kouzin-Zaka and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

I blinked back and forth between Sloth and the Beast-like man wondering what 'connection' the two of them could possibly share. But Sloth was a good man, mostly. Trustworthy, some of the time. I'd trust his judgment in this, more or less. I decided. "I understand, Captain Sloth," I nodded and turned to the others. "Let's go!" And we continued our way-

I looked behind me to watch the confrontation begin:

Sloth looked Kouzin-Zaka over, "I suppose you survived being stranded on that deserted island, First-Mate Kouzin-Zaka."

Kouzin-Zaka grinned revealing more of his startling white teeth. "I'm hard to kill. Just like you apparently. Although...it looks like you've aged. You've become nothing but a drunken old man. Do you know what day it is, Captain?"

Sloth's eyes widened. "No...it can't be...the night of the full moon already...?!"

"Sunset approaches, Captain." Kouzin-Zaka said before tossing his head back and letting out a howling laugh.

***

We continued our way at an urgent pace, up the mountain path, until...the beautiful Siren Witch Nerezza stepped out into our path. At first I thought it was Lust and my heart skipped a beat in my chest. But I let out a breath of relief when I realized it was just Nerezza. There was a breeze blowing causing cherry blossom petals to blow in the air around Nerezza in a mesmerizing manner.

"Machete...I won't let you get any closer to Captain Tiburón. You'll have to get through me first...!" The female pirate growled.

I gapped at Nerezza and turned to face the others. "Um guys...I can't really fight a woman. So how about one of you guys face her?"

Santiago shook his head. "That would be very ungentlemanly behavior."

Moreno put his hands out in a helpless gesture. "To mar this _muñeca_ 's perfection in any way would be a sin..."

I gave my parrot an expectant look. " _Que bonbon! Que bonbon! Que bonbon!_ " He squawked at me loudly. My eye twitched. Apparently, Nerezza had another fan.

I shook my head, my friends were all frickin useless!

"You guys are pathetic." Came a silky, drawling voice. From out of the trees stepped Lust. She stood with her back to us facing Nerezza. "You can't even take care of a woman..."

"Lust..." I frowned.

"Nerezza." Lust greeted the other siren.

"Blanca, oops, I mean Captain Lust," Nerezza greeted with sarcasm in her tone.

"Did HE send you after me? Or did you also escape from HIM?" Lust demanded.

"Ohohohohoho!" Nerezza laughed in a haughty manner with a hand upraised in front of her mouth. "As paranoid as ever I see! No HE did not send me. I escaped Transylvania Island and nearly drowned in the process. I jumped off the only unguarded cliff area and into the ocean. I should be dead but Captain Tiburón was passing the island at that moment and spotted me jumping off the cliff. On a whim he decided to rescue me. I owe my life to him and he has earned my loyalty. That's why I'll continue to risk my life in order to protect him." Nerezza had a fierce look in her gray eyes.

Lust's eyes widened in surprise. "Don't tell me you've fallen in love with that strange, twisted man? You have bad taste."

Nerezza narrowed her eyes at Lust. "How dare you insult my beloved Captain! I'll kill you and send your beautiful corpse back to HIM! I'm sure HE'LL made good use of it!"

A flash of fear crossed Lust's face – but then it was gone. Lust and Nerezza made quite the dramatic sight facing off against each other – Lust was dressed in her white _kimono_ and Nerezza was dressed in her black one. "You're sick! And I don't think so. I'll be sending _your_ corpse to him, Nerezza!" Lust turned to face me and gave me an impatient look. "Well, what are you waiting for, idiot. Get the hell out of here! I'll take care of Nerezza."

But...I didn't want to leave. I wanted to find out more. How did Nerezza and Lust know each other? Who was this mysterious 'HE' that made Lust so afraid? That look of fear was so out of place on her beautiful face. I felt like going and killing whoever 'HE' was. I wanted to know everything...everything about Lust and her past, and I knew she'd never tell me on her own, which was why I wanted to stay and keep listening.

However, Santiago put a hand on my arm and shook his head. "We must hurry-"

"But...I can't just leave her..." I started to object.

"If you really care about her...get the Flame Sword and come back and save her!" Moreno suggested.

I gave Moreno a surprised look. "Who says I care about that bitch?! Ha."

"Then there's no reason for us to be dillydallying here, now is there?" Santiago stepped in, instantly.

_Crap._ "No..."

"Let's go." Santiago insisted.

We continued our way up the mountain path. I looked behind me at the two beautiful but deadly, fair-haired women dressed in _kimono_ and looking like demonic angels. _Lust...don't lose._ I thought to myself.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost ran into them as Hellscythe and Daemon stepped out into our path. Those two Goth pirates gave me the creeps! I noticed that Daemon still had that creepy spiked collar on, which had a chain leash attached to it that Hellscythe was currently holding.

Santiago unsheathed his cutlass and pointed it at the two ghoulish men.

"No way," I started, "There is no way I'm leaving you alone with these two...! They're dangerous. And there's something not 'right' about them. As for the smaller one...I don't even sense his presence. It's like he's not really there..."

Santiago turned to glare at me. "Are you saying you don't think I'm a match for these guys? I beg to differ – I can hold my own against you can't I? Then I can sure as hell hold my own against these two weirdos. Don't worry about me, Machete – I can handle myself. I am your brother after all. Trust me. Believe in me as I believe in you."

"Brother...Captain Santiago..." My voice was thick with emotion, my eyes burned. I nodded. My brother was no push over. I'd just have to trust him.

"Come on Machete!" Moreno said insistently.

"Right..." I agreed and Moreno and I ran off leaving my brother to face Hellscythe and Daemon on his own. _Shit._ I had a bad feeling about this. I didn't like this one bit...leaving my friends, err, traveling companions, behind. "Don't die, Buddha freak. I'm the only one allowed to kick your ass! Got it?"

"Got it, Brother." Santiago agreed before he turned to face Hellscythe and Daemon with a steely glint in his eyes. If anything Santiago was probably smarter than Hellscythe and Daemon, but would brains win over brawn?

Moreno and I continued our way up the mountain path until the female vampire _samurai_ , and pirate woman, Akane stepped into our path. Akane gave us a sultry look. "Well, what do we have here? Two _delicious_ looking young men..."

Akane was dressed in a short, red and black _kimono_ , and her breasts were popping out of the folded part of her dress in a _Va Va Voom_ manner. Her long, red-painted nails were at least three inches long. Akane's tongue darted out and she licked one of her long nails in a predatory fashion.

Moreno and I gulped and turned to look at each other nervously. "I guess...I'll have to face her." Moreno suddenly declared with a strange look on his face that was half fear and half anticipation...like a virgin about to have sex for the first time...

"Say what?" I gave Moreno an incredulous look. He wanted to face the vampire- _samurai_ chick on his own? Was he nuts?! Or maybe he was thinking with his dick again? "You can't be serious, Moreno. She'll chew you up and spit you out. I know what you're thinking...you want to steal her underwear don't you? _Amigo_ , you need to stop thinking with your dick and try and use your head for once!" I chided him.

"Oi! I am thinking with my head. I know you can't fight women...and for some reason her hypnosis doesn't work on me. So I'm your best bet. However," He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I know I don't stand a chance against her. And I'm not into that heroic, self-sacrificing, martyr bullshit like everyone else seems to be. So you need to hurry up – go kick that dragon Seiryuu's ass – get the mystical fang – get Muramasa to forge the sword, and then come back here and save my ass before she turns me into a vampire!"

Akane was twirling a strand of her black hair around her index finger, "I heard all that, idiots. Vampires have very sensitive hearing. And who says I'm going to turn the likes of you, pirate thief? You're just a little afternoon snack."

Moreno gulped. "Correction, come save me before this sexy _señorita_ eats me, okay _mi amigo_?!"

I REALLY didn't like the idea of leaving Moreno in the clutches of some Vampiress but I had little choice. _Shit._ "Don't get yourself eaten, Moreno. I'll be back to save you as soon as I can so...just buy some time, savvy?"

Moreno nodded. "That's exactly what I was planning on doing anyways." Moreno turned to face Akane and his knees were knocking together he was trembling so badly.

Akane yawned. "So boring...I'll just finish you off quickly and continue my pursuit of Machete."

Moreno had a surprisingly fierce look in his eyes after that comment, "I don't think so. I won't let you get past me. My friends are counting on me...for something...for once and this time I intend not to screw things up! I too...decided to become a pirate!"

I reluctantly left Moreno and the vampire _samurai_ Akane behind and climbed up the mountain path that was getting steeper and more treacherous now that my way was strewn with rocks and boulders. It wasn't long before I spotted a cave. Muramasa had described the dragon's lair to me and it resembled his description perfectly. The cave was nestled just under the mountain's peak, and a foul-smelling, green mist was emerging from the cave just as Muramasa had said.

This green mist had to be the 'dragon's breath' Muramasa had mentioned. I swallowed and shook myself like a dog. Now was not the time to get nervous. I made my way up the precipitous rock face that was just under the cave's opening. I gripped the bottom lip of the cave's mouth and had to hoist myself up and inside of the cave. I instinctively crouched low and then stood up. It was pitch black inside of the cave. I took out a torch and lit it. I held the torch out before me and made my way deeper into the cave. However-

Captain Tiburón stepped out from within the shadows of the cave to stand before me. He was dressed in a full-length, dark green, male _kimono_ , his Water Sword was stuck in his black sash belt, and there was a pair of _zori_ sandals on his feet. "Hey there Machete...I'm surprised you made it this far. Those _samurai_ must be weaklings. As for my bodyguards...I should kill them later. They're completely useless apparently." Fire seemed to flash in Sebastian's visible pale green eye.

I gave Sebastian an appalled look. "Sebastian...how could you say that about your own crew? They're extremely loyal to you – they care about you. They're willing to risk their lives for you. Take Nerezza for instance, you saved her life and now she's indebted to you. I think she may even be in love with you...!"

"Loyalty? Love? Ha!" Captain Tiburón began to laugh a somewhat bitter laugh. "They don't care about me. They all have their own ulterior motives for following me as captain of the _Green Leviathan_. For instance, Kouzin-Zaka merely wants to get his revenge on Sloth. Do you know about their past history? Did Sloth tell you? No? Well, allow me to enlighten you, my slow-minded ex-friend. When Sloth was Captain of the _Wandering Wolf_ Kouzin-Zaka was Captain Sloth's First-Mate!

"However, Kouzin-Zaka had a deadly skeleton in his closet. He was a werewolf. And so on the night of the full moon Kouzin-Zaka turned into a demonic wolf and attacked the crew of the _Wandering Wolf_. Captain Sloth protected the crew using his uncanny swordsmanship but...was bitten. Captain Sloth is an impressive man. He managed to subdue a werewolf all on his own that night and managed to tie him to the main mast. As night faded back into day Kouzin-Zaka returned to his human form. That's when Captain Sloth gave out his punishment...

"Kouzin-Zaka was stripped of his title as First-Mate and sentenced to be abandoned on a deserted isle with nothing but a pistol that only contained one shot. A man can go mad being on a deserted island with only himself for company. He begins to see his true self, which can be a very scary thing. Kouzin-Zaka went mad. Meanwhile, Captain Sloth did not know he had been cursed by Kouzin-Zaka, and so continued on as the _Wandering Wolf_ 's captain until the night of the next full moon...

"That night Captain Sloth turned into a demon wolf and attacked and killed his entire crew including his wife and daughter, who had been aboard at the time. He killed them all. The next day, Sloth woke up, naked, covered in blood, surrounded by dead bodies. Claw marks everywhere. And there was blood underneath his fingernails. They say Captain Sloth went mad too. Others say he became a pathetic, old, drunken pervert somewhere..." Captain Tiburón finished his tale. "Who would have thought he'd end up in a place like the Dominican Republic?"

"Captain Sloth..." I murmured sympathizing for the old man for the first time. It must have been horrible to wake up that next day and realize he had killed his wife and daughter and his friends...the entire crew of the _Wandering Wolf_. No wonder he had fled to the Dominican Republic and become the village drunk and pervert.

"As for Hellscythe and Daemon. Hellscythe is a Necromancer. He can bring people back to life as zombies. Though unlike the zombies that vampires create his zombies don't need to eat human flesh. They're very close to being human, however, they are still soulless. And a being without a soul has no conscience. His zombies usually become killing machines. Hellscythe is in search of a way to bring a person's soul back from hell. Apparently, he heard rumors of a man who was researching how to do this...that man happened to be my father, Captain Greed. He just wants my father's research, which I have promised him in return for helping me to get my revenge upon you."

"A way to bring a person's soul back from hell?" I questioned thinking about Rosie. "Your father was researching this? Did he figure out a way?"

Captain Tiburón's eyes narrowed at me. "How the hell should I know? And why would _you_ need to know such a thing...Machete!"

I put a hand behind my head. "Ah, no reason...I was just curious."

"Curiosity killed the pirate." Captain Tiburón smiled grimly. "As for Nerezza...yes, it's true that I rescued her. But Nerezza doesn't care about me, nor does she love me. I'm just a tool to her. She wants to get revenge upon a certain individual. And I have promised to help her get it as long as she helps me with my revenge. She's a powerful, Siren Witch and a very valuable asset to my crew. So I had to lie a little to get her to help me." Captain Tiburon shrugged. "What did you say to your Siren Witch Lust in order to get her to sail with you and your crew? What's the real reason Lust sails with you? Surely, it is not for the pleasure of your company." He sneered.

I blinked at Captain Tiburón. That was a good question. _Why does Lust continue to sail with us? Does she still want Pirate King Pride's treasure? But why? For what purpose? What good will a treasure chest filled with hundreds of silver pieces-of-eight and gold doubloons do her? Is it to get a ship and crew of her own in order to help her kill HIM, her mysterious enemy?_ _The enemy that I still didn't know jack shit about._

I realized in that exact moment that I didn't know the real reason why Lust had decided to come with us. Did she know something about Pirate King Pride's 'treasure' that I/we didn't? Was she keeping this from me/us? I also realized I didn't really know anything about her. I just knew her body...really well...that was about it though. I didn't know anything about her true feelings or what was inside her heart. Who did Lust's heart belong to? If anyone? I wondered.

I didn't want to admit this to Captain Tiburón though and say 'I don't know' so instead I said: "Because I'm good in bed." I declared with a cocky smirk on my face. "I have a huge-"

"Ah!" Captain Tiburón put his hand up to stop me, "Enough." Sebastian blushed and coughed awkwardly into his hand. "Perv...Lust is just using you for her own ambitions whatever they may be! She doesn't care about you and she sure as hell doesn't love you – don't be naïve!"

"Oi!" I frowned, "I never said that I thought she was in love with me."

Captain Tiburón ignored my comment and continued on with his tirade. "As for Akane...she was on a mission to take out an entire ship containing an infected captain and crew of vampires on her own. After she passed this 'test' she was going to become an official Monster Hunter. Akane was up against fifty vampires. Akane almost managed to kill them all until only the captain remained. But the captain was of another class of enemy altogether and easily defeated her. As she lay dying in a pool of her own blood the captain asked her: 'Do you wish for Immortality?' And Akane gave into the temptation and let herself be turned into a vampire. She was disgusted by her own weakness, however, and jumped ship. I found her floating in the middle of the sea clinging to a piece of driftwood-" Captain Tiburón was saying when I interrupted him.

"Nerezza...Akane...Anemone..." I shook my head, bemused. "What is it with girls getting lost at sea and having pirate ships pick them up?"

Captain Tiburón raised an eyebrow at me before continuing. "Akane wants to 'hunt' the vampire captain who turned her, kill him and then kill herself. I lied and told the pathetic wench that I'd help her find HIM and get her revenge. But I told her that until then she would have to serve me and help me with my own revenge in exchange. She agreed, of course, since she didn't have much of a choice. Akane is disgusted by her vampire nature and refuses to feed on humans, and so I let her feed on me..." Captain Tiburón revealed as he pulled his _kimono_ off of his shoulders and down his chest to reveal several bite marks covering his arms and chest. "Have you ever let a vampire bite you, Machete? It's surprisingly quite pleasurable as they sink their teeth into you and invade your body and mind..." Captain Tiburón had delicate skin and so the bite marks were an angry red and the skin around the bite marks was purple and bruised. His wounds looked extremely painful. His body was in good shape but he was so skinny that his ribs were visible.

I frowned at Sebastian's body. "You let her feed from you? Is that such a good idea...you know...with your body...?"

Captain Tiburón silenced me with a death glare and quickly pulled his _kimono_ back up to cover his chest and arms once more. "So you see, Machete...friendship, loyalty...those things are nothing but an illusion. I have no one. Just as you have no one."

"I never said I had anyone." I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow at Sebastian.

Sebastian was right. Why were these people following me? No, they weren't following me at all – they were just using Santiago and I as a means to their own ends...which were what exactly? I was too dumb to figure this out on my own. I had a vague idea of what everyone was after but decided to talk to my brother about it later.

Lust seemed to want revenge on the mysterious HIM...maybe?

Santiago wanted Pirate King Pride's treasure to buy back Cabarete Village, save our mother, and win Anemone's heart.

Anemone was searching for her memories.

Moreno and Amano had tagged along for the ride in order to get off of the Dominican Republic and finally reach another island.

All along Sloth had wanted the opportunity to face Kouzin-Zaka again.

Onigiri wanted to find a way to save Rosie's soul. And if what Captain Tiburón had said was true and his father investigating ways to bring a person's soul back from hell maybe Onigiri was searching for Captain Greed. And since Captain Envy, Captain Greed's son, was my enemy it only made sense to stick by me to eventually get his hands on the information he'd been searching for all this time.

Percivious wanted to stop his friend Dimitri, face him, kill him, and then kill himself so that Angela could move on and finally find peace.

Their dreams or agendas had nothing to do with me, I realized with a sinking feeling in my chest.

"Anyways, I've decided that I wish to possess the Flame Sword," Captain Tiburón informed me in a drawl, "So I'm here to kill you, Machete. I won't let you face and defeat Seiryuu! That honor will be mine!" Captain Tiburón declared as he unsheathed his Water Sword and pointed it at me.

_Oh shit._ I was no match for Captain Tiburón and that magical Water Sword of his. I was so screwed. However-

"Lust. Sloth. Wrath. Gluttony. Pride. Greed. And Envy are all deadly sins." Muramasa declared as he stepped out from the shadows of the cave. "Sins that will condemn your soul to hell." Muramasa whose face was covered in those strange, tiger claw scars with two swords strapped to his waist and more swords strapped to his back had appeared making a dramatic entrance. Those swords were all _katana_ he had forged himself.

"Muramasa- _sensei_ ...!" I said in surprise.

"You're _envious_ of Machete, Sebastian. You're also greedy...for power. You already possess the Water Sword and yet you wish to possess the Flame Sword as well. Cocky brat...you are not worthy of either sword!"

Captain Tiburón's eyes narrowed dangerously at Muramasa. "Muramasa...why are you here, you old blacksmith? I thought I warned you if you ever forged the Flame Sword for someone that I would have to kill you."

Muramasa drew two swords at once and pointed them at Captain Tiburón. "Oh ho, you think you can kill me? That may prove difficult, _kozo_. I'll give you a lesson and show you that you are unworthy to possess the sword that I had given you! I can hear that sword's voice – it cries out and is in pain that it has such an unworthy Master!"

"Shut your trap, old man! Before I shut it for you!" Captain Tiburón growled and pointed his sword at Muramasa instead of me.

"Well, Machete, what on earth are you waiting for? Go and face Seiryuu! I'll handle this _kuso gaki_ and put him in his place!" Muramasa shouted.

I gave Muramasa an incredulous look, wondering how he intended to face Sebastian and that magical sword of his? I knew Muramasa was strong but...what could he expect to do against the Water Sword?

"Foolish old man, I'll turn you into an ice statue!" Captain Tiburón declared as he began to gather his sword's magical power. The temperature around us dropped about fifty degrees. I could suddenly see my breath. _Uh oh._

However, Muramasa hit his swords together so that they vibrated before he attacked Captain Tiburón head on-!

"Muramasa!" I called out to him.

Muramasa's two swords clashed against Captain Tiburón's sword, the sound ringing through the air. Captain Tiburón's sword had been getting colder, a layer of frost forming on the sword, however, as soon as Muramasa's vibrating swords had clashed with Captain Tiburón's sword – the Water Sword had begun to vibrate too, and the frost and magical power were suddenly dissipated. _Huh?_

Captain Tiburón looked down at his sword astonished. "Huh? Impossible...what the hell did you just do, old man?!"

"I disrupted the communication between you and your sword using vibrations. I made the sword you now wield. You didn't think that I would know all of its weaknesses? You think you can use one of my own swords against me? You naïve fool. Machete, I'll be just fine against this _kozo_. Go!" He reassured me.

I blinked and then grinned. _Heh._ Muramasa- _sensei_ was no pushover that's for sure...! "Go easy on him, _sensei_!"

"Whaaat?!" Captain Tiburón yelled, outraged.

I ran off without looking back. I believed in my _sensei_. In Muramasa. The Samurai. No one could beat him. I was sure of it.

***

I continued my way down a dark, narrow passageway deeper into the cave. As I continued my way the temperature steadily grew hotter and hotter until sweat was pouring off my body and down my back. I stripped off my shirt and tossed it aside. I continued my way with a hot steam blowing at my face. There was also a strange smell in the air – sulfur? It smelled like rotten eggs. _The dragon's breath perhaps?_

The passageway exited into a gigantic cavern. The chamber was enormous and could have contained an entire fleet of Sea Forces ships. It was somehow well lit inside the chamber...the floor was black, volcanic rock and glowing lava was seeping up through the cracks. _Ah, this is what's illuminating the interior._ I realized. I tossed my torch aside since it was no longer needed. In the very center of the cavern was a expansive lake of glowing, bubbling lava.

But there was no sign of any dragon. I walked towards the lake of orange/red lava, cautiously stepping over the volcanic rocks, and the ground beneath my feet began to tremble ominously. I looked around the interior of the cavern at the various dark tunnel openings and passageways from which the dragon was probably about to emerge from.

I looked at the lake of lava and suddenly felt foolish. Muramasa had given me specific instructions to follow once I reached the lake of lava, but now I felt that they were quite ridiculous. But I really had no choice but to follow his instructions and so I took a deep breath, threw my hands into the air and yelled: "I summon thee, Seiryuu!" And then-

The lake of lava in front of me began to bubble and steam. Also the level of lava began to rise. Something was emerging from the lava.

First it was the dragon's head that came out from the lava. The head was surprisingly completely covered in the molten, orange lava and then the rest of its body began to emerge quickly. The dragon then shot upwards towards the ceiling of the cavern. _It can fly!_ I thought. But noted that the dragon had no wings.

"ROAARRRR!" The dragon flew back down to hover in front and above me, its long, serpentine body coiling in such a way to make the creature fit within the cavern. The lava was sliding off of Seiryuu, and more and more of the dragon's true appearance was being revealed to me.

I think I became a bit starry-eyed in my boyish wonder. But one could hardly blame me since I had never seen a dragon before. And he was truly magnificent. Truly, a god upon this earth. No wonder he was known as the Dragon Beast God of our world.

Emerald green scales covered Seiryuu's body but the dragon's underbelly was covered in bronze scales. His enormous head was adorned by an impressive pair of horns on either side of his head and which resembled a deer's antlers. He had a wise presence due to his long, white whiskers. His eyes glowed red like burning coals. The dragon had no wings but was apparently able to fly. Seiryuu's long, serpentine body was probably a hundred feet long. Along the ridges of his spine was what appeared to be white fur. His front arms had clawed hands with only three fingers. His hind legs had feet with three clawed toes.

Majestic. Noble. Ancient.

These were a few of the words that came to my mind as I stared at the dragon in front of me. And this was the dragon I was supposed to _kill_ and steal a fang from...?! I suddenly didn't want to harm this awe-inspiring creature. Even standing in the presence of such a powerful and dangerous creature. I felt no fear.

" _WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME, HUMAN?_ " Seiryuu spoke and the entire cavern vibrated with his deep, baritone voice. I hadn't expected the dragon to be able to talk!

I wasn't one to beat around the bush though and quickly rallied myself. "I'm here to kick your ass and bring one of your fangs back to the Blacksmith Muramasa so that he can forge me the magical Flame Sword!" I yelled up at the dragon, meeting his eyes directly and respectfully.

Seiryuu narrowed his ruby-red eyes at me and took in my ragtag appearance. " _FOOLISH PIRATE...YOU CAN TRY TO KILL ME BUT IT IS I WHO WILL KILL YOU._ "

I shrugged and cracked my knuckles ready for the fight to start. "Is that so? Well, give me your best shot dragon. I didn't expect you to go down without a fight. At least I know this won't be boring. Let's get this party started!"

" _AREN'T YOU AFRAID PIRATE?_ " Seiryuu asked me suddenly curious.

"I fear nothing." I replied in a snarky manner.

" _I SEE...THEN I SHALL TRY AND SPARK FEAR INTO YOUR FOOLISH HEART, LAD!_ "

[MACHETE VS SEIRYUU] FIGHT!

"Aarrrrr!" I unsheathed my _katana_ (one that Muramasa had lent me) and charged Seiryuu head on in a devil-may-care manner without fear. He charged me. We charged each other. And clashed. I raised my sword and swung it, brining it down just as Seiryuu's head was right in front of me, snapping his jaws at me-

I brought my sword up and Seiryuu's snout clashed against my _katana_. I pushed against Seiryuu but he pushed back and my feet began to skid backwards over the volcanic rock. I could feel the dragon applying more of his strength until he overwhelmed me and I was sent flying backwards into the far cavern wall with a painful sounding _thwack!_ I was feeling sorry for myself since that had sounded painful. The impact of my body against the cavern wall had formed a large crater. I fell to the ground and rolled forward and almost rolled right into the lake of lava-!

I was about to roll right in when I opened my eyes and realized that I was hanging off the ledge precariously about to fall in. _Ack!_ I quickly rolled my body in the opposite direction, away from the lake of lava. I stood swiftly, maybe too fast since I saw black spots in front of my eyes. I turned to face the dragon that was flying sleekly towards me through the air-! And I had the lake of lava at my back and nowhere to run!

" _QUICK TEMPERED, SLOW-MINDED PIRATE! RECKLESS FOOL WITH NO FEAR! YOU WILL DIE DUE TO YOUR FOOLISHNESS. WHAT A STRANGE WAY YOU FIGHT. AND YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT TO WIN AGAINST ME? IF YOU CONTNIUE TO FIGHT LIKE THIS YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF DEFEATING ME, PIRATE! I'LL DEVOUR YOU! ROARRRRR!_ " Seiryuu came at me, his mouth wide open-

I stood my ground. Feeling...nothing. I waited until the very last second and just as Seiryuu was directly in front of me – I jumped and doing a back flip landed behind Seiryuu's head-! I straddled his body as if he were a horse. I then held my _katana_ in a two-handed grip with the tip pointed downwards and without hesitation I brought the sword down at the back of Seiryuu's skull with all my strength.

The blade of my borrowed _katana_ shattered into two pieces upon impact – half of the blade went zooming off to where it clattered on the ground of volcanic rock somewhere. I now held a useless hilt with a broken sword in my hand. "Tsk." I tossed the useless sword aside.

" _YOUR SWORD WEEPS WITH THE WAY YOU FIGHT, PIRATE. A SWORD IS A REFLECTION OF ONE'S SOUL – YOUR SOUL IS EMPTY AND BROKEN. YOU HAVE NO LOVE FOR YOURSELF. A PITIFUL MAN LIKE YOU COULD NEVER HOPE TO DEFEAT ME! LET'S SEE HOW LONG YOU CAN...HANG ON!_ " Seiryuu declared before he shot straight up flying towards the cavern's ceiling.

"Blow me down! Holy crap!" I held onto the dragon's horns for dear life. And then the 'game' began. "Whooo!" I let out a hoot for some inexplicable reason as Seiryuu flew at the ceiling only to swerve and miss it at the very last second. _Whew._

" _DO YOU STILL FEEL NO FEAR, RAPSCALLION?_ " Seiryuu asked as he began to dance in the air, flying up and down, in a zigzag pattern, and then upside down as I continued to hang on with everything I had.

" _DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY YOUR SWORD BROKE? BECAUSE DEEP DOWN YOU WISH FOR YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION. YOUR BEHAVIOR IS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE...BUT THIS IS INCREDIBLY SELFISH. HAVE YOU NO CONCERN FOR THOSE YOU WOULD LEAVE BEHIND IF I KILLED YOU?_ "

Seiryuu was trying to lecture me or something, but I wasn't really paying attention. What? This was the biggest fucking _rush_ of my life! I had never felt so _alive_. Getting to ride on a dragon like that who was trying to buck me off like some kind of crazy horse. How could I be afraid when I was having the best time of my life!

I had kinda forgotten a very important point – basically about how this dragon was trying to kill me and everything. _Oops._ But I was having way too much fun. What? So I'm a bit slow.

Seiryuu would charge at the cavern walls and pull away just at the last second seeing if my fear would make me let go. But it never did.

And it became a battle of wills. Me versus Seiryuu. I was no coward. (Apparently I was a fool though). Playing chicken with a dragon.

And then Seiryuu changed course and dove down towards the lake of lava-! I was stubborn and wouldn't let go. The dragon would get burned too so I knew Seiryuu would have to pull away. I had temporarily forgotten Seiryuu was a dragon – impervious to fire while I was a fragile human being...

"FOOLISH PIRATE...LET GO NOW! OR DIE A SENSELESS DEATH!" Seiryuu warned, "I CAN NO LONGER TURN AWAY!"

That sounded like a warning? I thought, but why would the dragon, my enemy, warn me? And then I remembered the image of Seiryuu covered in dripping, orange lava and realized that I was royally fucked.

_Oh crap._ My slow brain began to process what was about to happen. I was about to enter a lake of lava and die a horrible, painful death by being burned alive and there was no escape.

Seiryuu plunged into the lake of lava with me on his back. And then-

### Chapter 12: Would ye mind if I fired me cannon through yer porthole?

I was burning! My skin was on fire! Wait, no it wasn't. I didn't feel a thing instead the strange sensation of being pulled through a thick substance that felt like mud to me. _Huh?_

Seiryuu burst free, out of the lake of lava, and I was still on his back and in one piece. There was lava on my body, and on Seiryuu's body too. I looked down and saw lava on my arms but it wasn't burning me. I watched in amazement as the lava dripped down off my arms and fell back down into the lake of lava below in globs. _Huh? I'm human right...? Blimey, this can't be happening. Am I dreaming?_

I looked down – yep; my pants had been completely burned away by the molten hot lava and so now I was completely naked and on top of a dragon. Great, just great.

Seiryuu was pissed. He turned his gigantic head to glare at me – probably expecting to see a skeleton clinging to his back and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw me still sitting on his back looking just as baffled as he probably was.

" _IMPOSSIBLE...UNLESS...YOU...? I SEE. FOOLISH HUMAN! A MAN WITH NO SENSE OF HIS OWN MORTALITY, WITH NO FEAR IN HIS HEART DURING BATTLE, COULD NEVER DEFEAT A GOD LIKE ME!_ " He roared and suddenly bucked me off so that I went flipping through the air.

Seiryuu stretched out his clawed hand and caught me in midair – only to slam me against the cavern wall. He then let go of me and hit me with his tail with such force I formed a large crater in the stone wall and I coughed blood. I fell to the ground and Seiryuu's clawed hand came down on top of me again and again. He was beating the shit out of me.

"DO YOU STILL FEEL NO FEAR? BEING THIS CLOSE TO DEATH, PIRATE?" Seiryuu roared down at me.

"No..." I coughed, stubbornly.

Seiryuu shook his enormous head at me. "YOU ARE A PITIFUL MAN. A MAN WHO HAS NO FEAR OF DEATH IN BATTLE MEANS HE HAS NOTHING TO LOSE. THEREFORE, HE IS HOTHEADED, RECKLESS, AND STUPID IN A FIGHT. HE LETS HIS TEMPER CONSUME HIM." Seiryuu began to tighten his claw around my body. "A WARRIOR WITH NO FEAR WILL BECOME OVERCONFIDENT AND FORGET HIS OWN LIMITATIONS. YOU HAVE AN EMPTY LIFE AND AN EMPTY HEART." His grip was getting even tighter.

"Shut up...you overgrown lizard...who asked you your opinion..." I gasped out.

"TO FEAR DEATH YOU NEED PEOPLE OR THINGS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND. A HOPE. SOMEONE YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND. A DREAM YET ACCOMPLISHED. UNFINISHED BUSINESS. THESE GIVE A MAN A REASON TO LIVE. PIRATE..." And tighter still, I thought I could feel the pressure on my bones now, they were about to snap. "DO YOU REALLY HAVE NO ONE? NO ONE YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND? NO ONE WHO WILL MISS YOU? DON'T YOU HAVE A HOPE OR DREAM THAT NEEDS TO BE ACCOMPLISHED BEFORE YOU DIE?!"

I thought about it...was there anyone I didn't want to leave behind? I would miss my brother and friends, sure, but they didn't really _need_ me. I doubted they would miss me either. Was there anyone I didn't want to leave? I wondered. Lust. I mused. No. She wouldn't miss me either. No one would miss me or care if I was gone. Everyone was selfishly into their own shit. Their lives had nothing to do with me. They would keep on going long after I was gone. None of them really _cared_ about me. If I died I was pretty sure none of them would shed a tear for me. Heck, they might even throw a party after all the trouble I've caused them.

"No." I told Seiryuu, gasping for breath as my ribs were being crushed. "No one will shed a single tear when I die. So go ahead and kill me, you stupid, overgrown lizard!"

"WHAT ABOUT YOUR DREAMS? HOPES?" Seiryuu insisted. "SURELY, YOU HAVE A REASON TO LIVE?"

A dream? Hopes? At that moment I couldn't really think of one. All I could feel was the pain in my body. "I have no hopes and dreams. I'm...no one special. I'm just...some Sanky Panky Pirate." I told Seiryuu with a painful chuckle. "I'm just a nobody..." _I'm Lust's sex toy...maybe? Not that I would tell the Dragon God this..._

"YOU THINK YOU HAVE NO ONE...YOU THINK NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, PIRATE, BUT IS THAT REALLY TRUE? ARE YOU BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF? YOU SAY YOU DON'T HAVE A DREAM OR HOPES BUT IS THAT THE TRUTH? YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF. TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE PEOPLE YOU CARE FOR...HOPES AND DREAMS...IS SCARY. DO YOU STILL HAVE NO FEAR, PIRATE? THEN YOU'RE A FOOL. I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL FEAR IN YOUR HEART, PIRATE. AND MAKE YOU A BETTER WARRIOR FOR IT." Seiryuu announced as he brought up his other clawed hand. A golden aura began to surround the dragon and all of this light appeared to gather in the palm of his clawed hand forming a glowing sphere of light there.

Seiryuu then tossed the sphere of light up into the air and as the light faded it revealed itself to be a crystal ball. The crystal ball grew in size until it was as large as a horse.

"YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL FIGHTING FOR YOUR SAKE, PIRATE. THEY BELIEVE IN YOU." Seiryuu started, and the crystal ball flashed and glowed before it began to reveal an image:

The image, which revealed itself, was actually of the mountain path where I had left Onigiri and Percivious to fight against the one hundred _samurai_ Monster Hunters all on their own.

CRYSTAL BALL: [ONIGIRI & PERCIVIOUS VS 100 SAMURAI] FIGHT!

The crystal ball showed Onigiri and Percivious fighting side by side. Onigiri slashing his sword through the air and cutting down his opponents left and right. Percivious raised his twin pistols and fired taking out two _samurai_ at once who were flung back impressively.

Their fight was amazing. There were only a few _samurai_ left at this point.

Percivious pulled down on the triggers of his pistols. _Click_. _Click_. "Shit...I'm out of bullets." He tossed the useless pistols aside before he took his long rifle down off his back. A _samurai_ was charging him from the left and one from the right. Percivious shot the _samurai_ coming at him from his left, spun, and had no time to fire or pull the trigger, and so instead had to jab his bayonet forward so that the blade pierced the _samurai_ to his right in the chest.

Onigiri was drenched in the blood of his enemies and looked like a demon. "Kyahhhh!" Rosie clapped her hands excitedly together and cooed and giggled.

"There is no honor in guns." Onigiri complained, with a frown on his face.

Percivious shrugged. "I know how to fight with a sword too. I learned how to fight with a sword first back when I was a Templar Knight. Then a few hundred years after that I learned how to use a rifle in the War of Roses. A few more centuries passed and I learned how to fight with twin pistols when I joined the Sea Forces Navy."

Onigiri gave Percivious a disgusted look. "You're _old_."

Percivious frowned. "Is that any way to speak to your elder? I think you meant to say that I must be incredibly wise since wisdom comes with age. I think I deserve a little more respect since as you so helpfully pointed out I _am_ older than you. The Japanese have a word for this...ah, yes, you can feel free to call me your ' _senpai_ ' Onigiri- _kun_." Percivious teased.

" _Senpai_! Upperclassman?" Onigiri scoffed. "I'll never call you my _senpai_. That would imply we have an association to each other, which we don't. We are nothing but distant acquaintances...temporary comrades in arms!"

"Awww, you're so mean to me Onigiri- _kun_!" Percivious pouted, "I had hoped we could be _best_ friends since you're a really cool guy!"

Onigiri gave the Vampire Priest an incredulous look. " _Best_ friends?! You can't be serious...! I could never be friends with a vampire, especially one with as weird a personality as yours!"

"Aww why not? You saved Rosie didn't you? You want to save Rosie's soul...maybe you could save mine too?" Percivious gave Onigiri a hopeful look.

"Rosie...is just an innocent child. A victim of circumstance. I could never befriend a vampire because..." Onigiri bit his lip and turned his head away. "One killed my mother."

"I see...I'm sorry." Percivious looked solemn, and crossed himself. "May her soul rest in peace."

Onigiri turned to give Percivious a surprised look and then shook his head. "Forget it...it's not like you killed her. You don't need to apologize."

Percivious suddenly had a serious look on his face. "Yes, but my _kind_ did kill her. I understand your hatred for vampires now. I'm really sorry. I've been insensitive. You Monster Hunters are right. Us Vampires are monsters. Our souls have already been damned to hell. There's no hope for us. So maybe you're right and we should all be exterminated..."

" _Chigau_! No! You're wrong!" Onigiri suddenly burst out, surprising Percivious who took a step back. "There is hope! Because...Machete says there is!" Onigiri declared, simply.

"Huh? Machete?" Percivious blinked.

Onigiri nodded. "He saved me from my own ignorance. I thought there was only one dark path I could follow, but he allowed me to see the error in my thinking. He opened my eyes to see that there are endless paths that I can take and endless possibilities stretched out before me. He's incredible like that. He doesn't see things normally. Where I would see a barrier – Machete would see an opportunity. I'm sure that if he came to a dead end in a maze he wouldn't turn around, but punch down the wall in front of him and continue moving forward!

"He says until I've sailed the entire Seven Seas that there's hope. Machete said that we will find Rosie a cure and I believe him because I believe _in_ him. Machete is a special person. He can make the impossible possible. If anyone can defeat a dragon, get one of its fangs and become the wielder of the Flame Sword - it's him! I intend to follow him for the rest of my life. I believe he'll become the next Pirate King!" Onigiri told Percivious passionately.

"Make the impossible possible huh? He saved me too...using fireworks. Crazy bastard. I agree. I also sensed he's special. I too believe that he will become the wielder of the Flame Sword and defeat Seiryuu! And maybe you're right...he may even become the next Pirate King. I've already vowed to face Dimitri...but I can't do it alone. After meeting Machete I know I need _him_ if I'm to ever stand a chance against my former best friend and comrade. I still need to ask Machete if he'll help me though." Percivious put his hands out in a helpless gesture.

"If you ask him for his help Machete will give it to you, no questions asked. He's like that." A subtle, amused smirk formed on Onigiri's lips.

"Aye..." Percivious nodded and gave Onigiri a hopeful look.

"Onigiri...Percivious..." I said as I watched them.

The last _samurai_ fell to Onigiri's sword. Phew. Onigiri and Percivious were panting for breath and covered in blood. They look at each other. Heh.

"We did it." Percivious said.

"Don't use 'we'." Onigiri frowned. "It's creepy."

Both men collapsed to the ground to sit and leaned their backs against each other for support. However-

From out of the cherry blossom trees emerged a group of female _samurai_ with long _naginata_ in their hands. Before Onigiri and Percivious could react they were surrounded and had _naginata_ blades pressed to their throats-!

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"Onigiri! Percivious! Shit! I have to go help them." I tried to get up but Seiryuu slammed me back into the ground.

"YOU STILL HAVE MORE TO WATCH. STAY STILL, PIRATE." He commanded in a roar.

I looked up at the gigantic crystal ball that glowed brightly with a golden-tinged light, momentarily blinding me, and causing me to shield my eyes with my hand. Then the light went out and another location was revealed inside of the crystal ball:

This time the mountain path where I had left Sloth and Kouzin-Zaka was shown.

CRYSTAL BALL: [SLOTH VS KOUZIN-ZAKA] FIGHT!

The crystal ball showed old man Sloth and Kouzin-Zaka facing off. Sloth unsheathed his cutlass and Kouzin-Zaka hefted his gigantic hammer down off his shoulder blades.

The two pirates charged each other and their weapons clashed ferociously. Kouzin-Zaka swung his hammer at Sloth, who blocked with his sword. Slash. Block. Jab. Dodge. Sloth was holding his own against Kouzin-Zaka... _way to go old man!_ I internally shouted. But...

Sloth was tiring quickly. Perhaps he was just an old man after all. It wasn't long before he was panting for breath. Both men had begun to look more 'beast-like' – their faces and arms were getting hairier, their pupils were narrowing into slits, and their incisors were lengthening.

"Is that all you got, you pathetic old man?" Kouzin-Zaka sneered as he swung his hammer at Sloth in the gut, sending him flying back. Kouzin-Zaka came to stand next to him and looked down at the fallen Sloth. "Is this all the great Captain Sloth really amounted to? The great Captain Sloth? One of the Seven Deadly Pirates that rules the Seven Seas? How disappointing..."

Day had turned to night. The full moon could be seen peeking through the gray clouds that were swirling overhead. A cloud passed and the moon's silvery rays shed down upon Kouzin-Zaka and Sloth illuminating them.

Kouzin-Zaka's body began to shift and then transform until his body turned into that of a gigantic, black wolf with red eyes, and with a third eye in the center of his forehead. The wolf also had horns coming out of its monstrous body and a live snake for a tail.

As Sloth lay on the ground, panting and wheezing for breath, his body also transformed into a large, white, demonic wolf with red eyes and with a third eye in the center of his forehead. The white wolf also had horns emerging from its body, and an albino snake for a tail.

Now I finally understood why Captain Sloth had renamed his ship from the _Wandering Dream_ to the _Wandering Wolf_ and made his figurehead a savage looking white wolf in mid leap. The figurehead of the _Wandering Wolf_ had probably been fashioned after Captain Sloth's werewolf form.

"Goodbye Captain." Kouzin-Zaka now in his wolf-form said mockingly to Captain Sloth.

Kouzin-Zaka was about to attack Sloth aiming for his throat, when Sloth suddenly came back to life and lunged up at Kouzin-Zaka. Sloth opened his jaws and latched onto Kouzin-Zaka's throat, biting down hard.

Kouzin-Zaka roared in pain and outrage and began to pry Sloth off of him using his claws but-

Sloth stubbornly refused to let go. Kouzin-Zaka raked his claws into and along Sloth's body, causing deep cuts and gashes. And still Sloth would not let go. Blood was pouring down Kouzin-Zaka's throat. As a last resort Kouzin-Zaka began stabbing Sloth with his claws repeatedly.

Finally Sloth let go and Kouzin-Zaka latched onto Sloth's neck before tossing him across the ground. Sloth lay on the ground, unmoving as a pool of blood formed around him. His white fur was now mostly red and matted heavily with bright, red blood.

Kouzin-Zaka approached Sloth and stared down at him coldly as he held a hand to his bleeding throat. "Not bad for a drunken old man...I'll need stitches. Tell me, Sloth, why do you sail with that strange young man, Machete?"

Sloth turned his head weakly and looked up at Kouzin-Zaka, gathering his strength so that he could speak. "After I turned into a werewolf and killed me family, me crew and me hearties, I knew I was a cursed man. I knew I deserved to die for what I had done. But I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide, so I drowned myself in fine booze and fine wenches. I wanted to forget about the debt that I owe the world...

"But when I met Machete I was reminded of that debt. I pretended to give into the lad's request for help for different reasons, but the real reason I chose to sail with them is that there's something about that look in his eyes that reminds me of our late Pirate King Pride. When Machete says he'll do something – ye know he'll do it.

"Machete said he would find Pirate King Pride's treasure and buy back Cabarete Village from Captain Tiburón and I believe he'll be able to do it! I want to help him do this 'good deed' because maybe it will help me pay back some of the bad karma I've gathered for the atrocity I committed. That's why I want to help Machete save Cabarete Village!" Sloth was looking up at Kouzin-Zaka with a determined expression on his face.

Kouzin-Zaka raised an eyebrow at Sloth. "Is that so? Enough talk. I should finish you off-"

Kouzin-Zaka was about to finish Sloth off when from out of the _sakura_ trees emerged the merman pirates of Captain Tiburón's crew. Kouzin-Zaka turned to see the pirates and frowned. "What now?"

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"Captain Sloth...shit!" I swore and clenched my fists.

" _YOU SEE, MACHETE, EVEN CAPTAIN SLOTH BELIEVES IN YOU AND THAT YOU WILL SAVE CABARETE VILLAGE. I WONDER ABOUT THE SIREN WITCH LUST. LET'S SEE HOW SHE'S DOING IN HER BATTLE NEXT, SHALL WE?_ " Seiryuu asked.

"Lust..." I murmured, feeling queasy.

The crystal ball glowed brightly before it changed the location it was revealing to show the area of the mountain pass where I had left Lust alone facing off with the Siren Witch Nerezza.

[LUST VS NEREZZA] FIGHT!

"I lied." Nerezza started in a voice as smooth as black velvet, "HE did send me after you. I just didn't want to say so with the others listening. You were right to be paranoid Lust. HE wants you dead." An evil smile formed on Nerezza's face.

Lust paled, which with her already pale skin meant that she turned as white as a ghost. "I knew it...it was too much of a coincidence – you being here..."

"My beloved Captain Tiburón thinks he 'saved' me." Nerezza snorted. "This is what I want him to continue thinking. I'll let him think he's using me when I'm the one who's using him." Nerezza said as she tossed her long, white hair over her shoulder in a careless gesture.

"Two-faced bitch..." Lust sneered.

"Muwha?" Nerezza put a hand to her chest and gave Lust a mock-shocked look. "Isn't this what they call the pot calling the kettle black? What story have _you_ made up to tell the captain and crew of the _Wandering Wolf_ so that they allow you to sail with them?"

A grim expression formed on Lust's face. "No story, I'm actually their prisoner."

Nerezza raised an eyebrow at that. "Their prisoner? Ohohohoho!" Nerezza laughed and opened an elaborate, black and white, paper fan, which she held up in front of her mouth. "That's rich...so then that pirate Machete is forcing himself on you?"

Lust's eyes narrowed at Nerezza. "What?" She snapped. "How do you know that we're sleeping together?"

Nerezza put her nose into the air in a superior gesture. "I can smell his foul stench all over you. So is he raping you every night? Poor Lust...I feel sorry for you." Nerezza said in a mock-sad tone.

Lust clenched her fists at her sides. "No! He isn't like that. He's not like...I'm the one who has been seducing him!"

Nerezza gave Lust a look of sheer disbelief. I was joining her. "You? I don't believe it! Why...how could you possibly...?!"

Lust shrugged carelessly. "Women have needs too. Why should my needs go unfulfilled when there's a perfectly capable boy toy close at hand? Sex...can actually be quite pleasurable, Nerezza. It can be quite...hot. Although I doubt _you_ know that. Machete is also very convenient. He suits my needs nicely so he'll do for now. He is very well endowed for one thing. He's replaced my usual toy. He's also very obedient. Would you believe he lets me tie him up when we make love?" Lust was saying in an almost bragging tone.

I didn't know what to think of this. She had hurt my male pride with a few of her careless comments.

Nerezza covered her ears and gave Lust a disgusted look. "Way too much information! You've fallen in love with him." She accused.

Lust's eyes widened dramatically. "No! No, this is _not_ love but simply lust." Lust wrapped her arms around her body and hugged herself as she shivered. "He's like an aphrodisiac, Nerezza. He's like poison. A drug. Once you've had a taste of him it's impossible not to go back for more. He's poisoned me...I'm completely addicted to his body...to his molten rod...that pierces my heart of ice and sets me ablaze with desire." Lust was saying more to herself I think than to Nerezza.

"Molten rod?" Nerezza shook her head. "You have got to be kidding me. Now you're spouting bad, romantic prose as you talk about a _man_! I never thought I'd hear you talk about a man like this. You _hate_ men. Or have you forgotten? How can you stand to put up with him? I thought you lacked the patience to deal with a man but now you're acting as if you're obsessed with him."

(I was surprised by how their conversation had descended from threats and jabs into 'girl talk'. I felt a trickle of sweat form on my brow.)

Lust met Nerezza's eyes with a serious expression on her face. "I don't really know why either but...Machete is different from other men. He's...special."

"Special." Nerezza scoffed. "So then have you told him the truth about what you're really after? About how you want Pirate King Pride's treasure in order to exact your revenge upon HIM? And do those fools even know what the treasure really is? Do they have any idea what it is that they're really searching for so passionately?"

Lust sighed. "He knows I want the treasure, but no, these people have no idea what the treasure really is. They think the treasure is a treasure chest filled with pieces-of-eight."

Nerezza laughed cruelly. "Those fools! Well, 'it' may be made out of gold. Master knew you would try and find, 'it', Lust. 'It' is probably HIS only weakness after all. He's impressed you figured that out. You've become a threat to him. Which is why he sent me here to kill you."

"Boy, I feel special." Lust declared, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's nothing personal, Lust, but now...you will die while getting to listen to my best performance ever!" Nerezza opened her mouth and began to sing. It was a loud screeching sound. An invisible wind stirred the surrounding forest and sent pink cherry blossom petals flying through the air.

Then an invisible force hit Lust and sent her flying off her feet. Lust landed on the ground with a smack and quickly began to push herself up and off the ground. "What the hell was that...?"

Nerezza smiled. "A sound wave. My song has the force equal to that of a rampaging elephant!" Nerezza began to sing again and it was more like a screech in my opinion.

This time Lust sensed the invisible attack coming, however, and dodged out of the way. Where Lust had been standing mere seconds before was now a ridge carved into the ground where the sound wave had hit.

"Bitch!" Lust said as she opened her mouth to try and sing but Nerezza was faster and opened her mouth to screech at Lust, who dodged again but this time not fast enough. Lust was forced to dive to the ground.

Nerezza attacked Lust again mercilessly and she rolled out of the way over the ground. Lust took out her one shot pistol, aimed and fired at Nerezza. Nerezza sang and the bullet hit an invisible shield and was shattered upon impact.

"Sound wave vibrations are very powerful," Nerezza informed Lust.

"Shit." Lust struggled to stand and took her cutlass out from her belt. "Die you ugly harpy!" Lust charged Nerezza head on.

Nerezza took a deep breath, opened her mouth and sang. Lust brought her sword down upon Nerezza but the blade of her sword shattered. Nerezza continued to sing and the broken pieces of Lust's sword went zooming back towards Lust-

The sharp, jagged pieces of Lust's broken sword pierced her own body – her chest, close to her heart, and one piece of steel imbedded itself dangerously in Lust's throat.

Lust fell back and lay on the ground gasping for breath as her lungs began to fill with blood.

Nerezza walked over to Lust and looked down at the struggling siren. "Tsk. A pity...it looks like that hit your windpipe. You probably won't be able to sing ever again. I should just put you out of your misery, Captain Lust." Nerezza's eyes were glowing with an eerie, silver light.

Lust looked up, glaring at Nerezza fiercely, and tried to speak with the piece of metal still sticking out of her throat. I watched as blood gurgled out of her mouth and down her chin and cringed.

"What was that, Lust?" Nerezza put a hand to her ear and leaned down towards Lust playfully. "I didn't catch that." Nerezza mocked cruelly. "Goodbye Lust." Nerezza opened her mouth, prepared to deal the finishing blow upon poor Lust. However-

From out of the trees emerged Captain Tiburón's merman pirate crew. "Lady Nerezza!" One of the pirates shouted loudly, effectively staying her hand.

Nerezza sighed and turned to face the pirate. "What is it now?"

"You have new orders from Captain Tiburón." The pirate informed her succinctly.

"Damn." Nerezza bit her lip.

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"LUST?!" I yelled loudly and struggled beneath Seiryuu's massive clawed hand. "Aarrrr! Let me up! I must go to her!" I roared.

" _IT'S TOO LATE FOR HER, PIRATE. CAPTAIN LUST HAS YOUR PROBLEM. YOU SEE HOW SHE FOOLISHLY AND RECKLESSLY CHARGED NEREZZA LIKE THAT? AND YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO HER AS A RESULT. NOT HESITATING WILL NOT ALWAYS BRING YOU VICTORY. SOMETIMES NOT HESTITATING WILL BRING DEATH. SOMETIMES IT'S INTELLIGENT TO HESITATE."_

"Shut up..." I growled. "SHUT UP!"

The Dragon God ignored me and continued to lecture me. _"LUST IS ALSO SIMILAR TO YOU FOR ANOTHER REASON. SHE SEEMS TO ALSO ACT AS IF SHE TOO HAS NOTHING TO LOSE OR NOTHING TO LIVE FOR. WELL, EXCEPT FOR HER REVENGE. IT'S NO WONDER SHE LOST THAT FIGHT. AND I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE YOU CARED ABOUT, PIRATE. AND YET YOU CALLED OUT HER NAME SO PASSIONATELY JUST NOW. BUT I'M NOT DONE YET. LET'S SEE HOW YOUR BROTHER SANTIAGO IS FARING, SHALL WE?"_

The crystal ball glowed brightly again before it revealed a new location. This time it revealed the area of the mountain path where I had left my brother Santiago and Hellscythe and Daemon.

CRYSTAL BALL: [SANTIAGO VS HELLSCYTHE & DAEMON] FIGHT!

My gaze fixated upon the crystal ball intently as I watched my brother facing off against Hellscythe and Daemon. My brother unsheathed his sword and pointed it at the Necromancer and his Zombie.

Hellscythe summoned his dark, magical power and a black-tinged aura surrounded him and the chain leash he held. He caused the leash and collar to disappear from around Daemon's neck, essentially freeing him. "Kill." Hellscythe issued the simple command.

"Kill? Kill! Kill! Kill!" Daemon instantly became very excited and took out two daggers before he charged Santiago. "Die! Die! Die!" Daemon yelled and laughed hysterically as he attacked my brother. The zombie looked like he was having a hell of a time.

Their blades clashed. Santiago blocked Daemon's erratic, slashing attacks. Daemon spun like a top and moved towards Santiago, so that his two daggers were slashing at Santiago continuously like a metal tornado or a tornado made of razor blades.

But I was impressed to see that my brother was successfully blocking all of Daemon's haphazard attacks. Crazy, unpredictable attacks, which I realized were similar to my own. His fighting style was actually like mine and since my brother and I had fought each other on countless occasions I was beginning to think that this might help Santiago during this fight. I crossed my fingers, hoping that this would give my brother an edge.

Santiago saw an opening and took it. He sped forward and slashed his sword through the air in an arc and beheaded Daemon in one fluid motion.

My jaw dropped.

But Santiago didn't stop there and charged the now 'unprotected' Hellscythe next. "Ahhhh!" Santiago cried as he charged Hellscythe, prepared to run him through. However-

Santiago's sword did not pierce Hellscythe's heart but instead clashed against the two upraised and crossed dagger blades of Daemon, who was whole (and in one piece) and standing in front of Hellscythe-!

Santiago looked at Daemon in shock. "What the? That's...impossible. You should be dead!"

Daemon quirked his head at Santiago. "Dead? Dying? Die! Die! Die!" He declared as he pushed Santiago back and attacked him again.

There was a strange glint in Hellscythe's eyes and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was probably smiling beneath that facemask of his.

Santiago was pushed back but blocked all of the attacks. Santiago had a thoughtful look on his face and decided to try something. Santiago waited for the right moment before he slipped past Daemon's defenses and cut his right arm off.

Daemon's arm fell to the ground with a wet thud.

Hellscythe summoned his malevolent, magical power and waved his hand at the fallen arm. It was bathed in a black-tinged light, before Hellscythe then waved his hand in Daemon's direction and the zombie's arm went zooming back to the zombie and began to reattach itself. In seconds, Daemon's arm was whole again.

"A zombie and his vampire master perhaps? Or...something else?" Santiago mused aloud as he tried to analyze his opponent and pushed his spectacles up his nose.

I wanted to yell: 'It's a Necromancer and his immortal zombie!'

"Kill him now, Daemon." Hellscythe said simply and in a chill, emotionless voice.

"Ahahahaha! Die! Die! Die!" Daemon cried as he relentlessly attacked Santiago again before he could have time to figure out his opponents' weakness or his opponents' true identity.

"Shit!" Santiago swore as he was forced to concentrate on Daemon's deadly attacks. Santiago's battle instinct took over and he saw an opening and took it. Santiago stabbed Daemon straight through the heart-

Daemon's head dropped down upon his chest, and he played dead.

Santiago blinked, probably wondering if he had really managed to kill Daemon or not. I wanted to yell to my brother: 'No you fool! He's still alive! You haven't won yet!'

But then Daemon looked up abruptly and began to laugh uproariously. "Ahahahaha! Just kidding." Daemon said in a low voice before he tossed his daggers aside and grabbed Santiago's sword blade with his two hands-

"Shit!" Santiago swore as he tried to pull his sword out of Daemon's grip but to no avail.

Daemon began to pull himself forward, on the blade of Santiago's sword, in a rather gruesome manner, so that he was getting closer and closer to Santiago.

I wanted to yell out to my brother to let go of that damned sword and run!

Daemon was directly in front of Santiago before he smiled innocently. Santiago blinked back at Daemon confusedly. Daemon was simply an enemy he couldn't comprehend. An enemy he couldn't figure out. And then Daemon suddenly leaned over and bit down on Santiago's ear. Santiago howled in pain and rage as Daemon tore the top of his ear off using his teeth. Santiago let go of his sword and staggered backwards.

"You pathetic insects keep getting in my way. Pirate King Pride's treasure belongs to me and me alone. I'll use it to save my cute, little brother from hell." Hellscythe declared. Daemon skipped over to Hellscythe's side with a triumphant look on his face and Hellscythe patted the boy's head affectionately. "Good job..." But then Daemon bit down hard on Hellscythe's hand. Santiago watched in horror as blood streamed down Hellscythe's arm but Hellscythe didn't even flinch, nor remove his hand. The Necromancer only gave his brother a pitying look. "Poor child..."

Santiago gave Hellscythe an incredulous look as blood streamed down the side of his face from his torn ear. "Cute little brother...? That monster!"

Hellscythe's eyes narrowed at Santiago dangerously. "My brother is no monster."

The wheels were swiftly turning in Santiago's mind and the pieces of the puzzle were finally falling into place. "Your brother died didn't he? But you brought him back to life...as a zombie. You're not a vampire so then what are you...?"

"A Necromancer." Hellscythe acknowledged with a nod. "I have the ability to bring people back from the dead. However, I have yet to figure out how to call their souls back from hell. Without a soul a person no longer has a conscience and turns into this...a killing machine. My poor, kind, little brother...back when he had a soul he wouldn't have hurt a fly."

"And you think that Pirate King Pride's treasure can save your brother?" Santiago frowned, holding a hand to his ear to staunch the bleeding. "I thought Pirate King Pride's treasure was supposedly a treasure chest filled with one thousand pieces-of-eight?"

"You fool – that is merely the monetary value of the treasure." Hellscythe explained in his drawling voice. "The treasure itself is something much different and far more valuable than silver or gold in my opinion."

"My brother Machete will find Pirate King Pride's treasure, whatever it is, and save Cabarete Village. He's also going to become the next Pirate King! I believe in my brother. I always have. I might not have been a match for you but...he'll definitely kick your ass and avenge me." Santiago was saying, with his spectacles askew on his face and blood dripping down the side of his face.

"If you somehow manage to survive..." Hellscythe said cryptically as he leaned over my brother. "Ask the Knights Templar." Hellscythe used his index finger to push my brother back so that he began to fall backwards having no strength left.

"Knights Templar...?" Santiago murmured before he passed out and fell back hitting the ground with a thud.

"Brother!" I cried, my eyes burning. "No!"

Daemon approached him, probably with the intent to finish him off, but that's when Anemone unexpectedly made her appearance rushing out from the sakura forest. She quickly went to stand in front of the fallen Santiago and put her arms out to her sides. She gave Daemon a challenging and unflinching stare.

"Anemone...!" I gasped as I watched what was happening.

"Stay back! I won't let you hurt him anymore!" Anemone avowed.

"Dieeeee!" Daemon was saying as he reached out for Anemone with his bloody hands.

"Wait Daemon." Hellscythe said abruptly as he eyed Anemone thoughtfully. His eyes widened with recognition. "It's you...the mermaid. The Captain's been looking for you, Anemone. We need you...you are 'the key' that will open the gate to the Lost Island where Pirate King Pride's treasure is. Come back to us. I promise you, we will do you no harm." Hellscythe reached his hand out towards Anemone as if he expected that she would take it.

Anemone was giving Hellscythe a bewildered look however. "What...I don't even know you. What do you mean I'm the key? I don't remember you or your Captain. I want you to just leave me and Santiago alone! Go now or...or else!"

"What could you possibly expect to do against us, little mermaid?" Hellscythe asked mockingly and appeared amused.

"This..." Anemone declared as a blue-tinged aura began to surround her and then clouds seemed to start gathering quickly overhead. The clouds were at first white and fluffy but they were quickly turning gray and then black. They appeared to be thick with rain. Thunder boomed ominously and then there was a sudden downpour of rain.

Hellscythe put out his hand thoughtfully as the rain fell. In seconds he had become completely soaked. "You can make it rain. Impressive...if you want to do something like gardening. But I don't think getting a little wet will kill me."

"Take this!" Anemone declared as she brought her hand down and a bolt of lightning came down from the storm cloud overhead and hit Daemon directly.

Daemon was electrocuted and I watched in shock as the golden electricity made Daemon's body shake and I thought I could see the zombie's bones for a moment before the zombie fell to the ground in an unmoving, charred heap. "And now for you..." Anemone threatened, about to bring her hand down and cast lightning upon Hellscythe next. However-

Anemone's lower body turned into a fishtail with a _poof!_ and she collapsed to the ground. "Oh crap...!" Anemone looked up to see a livid Hellscythe towering over her with a furious expression on his face. "You were saying, little mermaid?"

"Er, I didn't say anything," Anemone gave Hellscythe a wide-eyed, innocent look.

Hellscythe backhanded Anemone hard across the face, knocking her out cold. "Foolish mermaid..." Hellscythe bent over to scoop Anemone into his arms, bridal-style. "Daemon...bring that one along as well. Apparently the mermaid cares for him. He can be used as leverage if the mermaid fails to cooperate with us. The little fool is probably in love with him...but she's just a tool to guide a ship to the Lost Island. Her purpose is not to love." Hellscythe ordered his zombie brother. He had said the word 'love' with a sneer.

Daemon's charred body twitched before beginning to stir. The zombie got up on shaky limbs that looked like they were about to fall apart, before he stumbled over to pick my brother's body up and sling it over his shoulder.

"Hurry. Captain Tiburón is planning a public execution of all of Machete's little friends back in Sakura Village. We don't want to be late for that." I was certain the Necromancer had to be smiling behind that damned facemask.

"Execution! Execution! Execution! _Wheeee~!_ " Daemon cheered as he clapped enthusiastically.

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"Santiago! Anemone!" I cried out.

But the Dragon God was already preparing to show me the next battle. "Let's see how the thief is doing..." The crystal ball glowed brightly before revealing Moreno, who was facing off against the vampire _samurai_ girl, Akane.

CRYSTAL BALL: [MORENO VS AKANE] FIGHT!

"Die, you _dominican_ thief!" Akane charged Moreno with her _naginata_ , the curved blade aimed at his heart.

Moreno waited until the very last second to dodge right. Akane went past him and he slapped her on her rear end with his hand. "Someone's been a naughty girl. I think you needed that spanking." Moreno grinned.

Akane turned around to look at Moreno in sheer disbelief. "You...! How dare you touch me! I'll kill you, dominican thief!" Akane shouted, her face turning red.

"With what?" Moreno asked innocently.

"Huh?" Akane looked down at her hands and realized she no longer had her _naginata_. She looked up to see that Moreno was now holding her weapon. "Grrrr...give me that, you fool!" She growled, her eyes beginning to glow red.

Moreno held her _naginata_ like a spear, pointy end pointed at the sky. "I think not...this thing is dangerous. Someone could get hurt." Moreno declared before he brought the _naginata_ pole down on his knee and broke it in two.

Akane looked outraged. "You broke my _naginata_! You'll pay for that you pathetic thief!" Akane roared and attacked Moreno with her long, red-painted nails.

Moreno continued to dodge out of the way. Ducking, dodging, leaping sideways as Akane swiped her claws at him. "Hold still you fool!" Akane gave Moreno a frustrated look. "How can he be so fast...?"

"I don't think so, _mi_ _linda señorita_." Moreno said as he continued to dodge. "I just have to keep you busy until Machete comes to save me!"

"Machete? What makes you think he'll come back to save the likes of you?" Akane raised her eyebrows at Moreno.

"He's my best friend." Moreno grinned confidently, and jabbed his thumb into his chest. "Machete will come back with the Flame Sword and kick your ass...!"

Akane looked furious. "Captain Tiburón will get the Flame Sword. You'll see. Not that pathetic, Sanky Panky Pirate!"

" _Ooo~_ I think someone is in love with their _Captain~_ " Moreno said jokingly.

Akane blushed. "I am not! Captain Tiburón is just helping me to get my revenge on HIM! And so I am in his debt!"

" 'HE' 'HIM' who the hell is this guy...it's like 'he who must not be named' or something. But that's another story. Why don't you people just spit his name out already?" Moreno rolled his eyes.

"When you learn his name...you will wish you never had." Akane said in a low voice.

"Mmhmm..." Moreno was looking down interestedly at something in his hands...a pair of lacy, black and red underwear and a matching bra. "This is nice, did you get this custom made?"

Akane's eyes widened and she patted her boobs self-consciously. "Ah! Where did you get that...?! How...?! That's _mine_!" She looked back at the panty thief incredulously.

Moreno grinned. "I took it off of you...I can put it back on you if you'd like." He winked at her.

Akane wrapped her arms around her body feeling violated. "You touched me...?! With your filthy _dominican_ hands?! How disgusting!"

Moreno looked put out. "Oi! I thought you were going to make a yummy snack out of me?" He pouted.

"I changed my mind about that a long time ago...pervert." Akane sneered.

"Oi! Don't you want to suck my-" Moreno began to joke.

But Akane quickly cut him off, looking offended. "Hell no! I was just acting, you know...vampires are supposed to be like that, all sultry and seductress like...that's why I was acting like I was going to seduce you and then kill you. But come on, you think stuff like that actually happens in real life? That just happens in bad romance stories!"

Moreno's expression fell as his childhood dreams were suddenly shattered. "So you won't be trying to seduce me? I feel gipped. I guess this is as close as I'll get to you..." Moreno frowned and put Akane's panties to his nose and took a deep whiff. "Mmm."

Akane looked horrified. "Ah! What the hell do you think you're doing? Stop that! Don't do that. That's dirty! Give those back!" Akane lunged at Moreno and grabbed her underwear-

Moreno stumbled backwards and Akane fell on top of him.

"Give me that!" Akane insisted as she tugged on her panties.

"No! I'm going to add them to my collection!" Moreno objected.

Akane suddenly smiled a cat's paw smile. "Got you, thief." Akane declared as she suddenly pinned Moreno's hands above his head using her superhuman strength. "Your speed is impressive. I never would have caught you if I hadn't decided to act like a high school girl. I needed to get you to let your guard down, pirate. _That_ was acting. Now tell me, because I'm curious. How did you get to be so fast? Not many humans can keep up with a vampire's speed."

"Ah, so that was acting? Or was that your old personality before you became a vampire? Back when you had a soul? That Akane...she was really _cute_." Akane blushed unexpectedly at the comment. "And as for my speed...well, I'm a thief. You need fast hands so you don't get caught. Getting caught is...troublesome. And I'm pretty lazy so the least amount of effort is key." Moreno explained as he struggled beneath Akane, but he was no match for her superhuman strength, so it was futile.

"I see...well, thief, you'll be getting your wish after all..." Akane began in a sultry voice. "I'll make a yummy snack out of you." Akane purred as she leaned over Moreno, pressing her boobs against his chest on purpose, and licking the skin on his neck just under his ear.

Moreno shuddered. "You're going to seduce me and then kill me...? I thought you said that only happened in bad romance stories?"

"Yes...but maybe this story is that kind of story after all..." An amused look formed on Akane's face.

Moreno made the oddest series of expressions as he smiled and then frowned, and then smiled and then frowned, and continued this process as if he couldn't decide what expression he should ultimately be wearing.

A hot vampire chick was going to seduce him and then kill him. Yea, I could understand his dilemma.

Akane ran her hand down Moreno's chest heading for...as she sunk her teeth into his neck. Moreno gasped in a mixture of pain and pleasure. "So damned good...the perfect way to die is in the hands of _una hermosa mujer_ ..."

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"Moreno! You idiot! Don't succumb to lust! Dammit!" I yelled at the crystal ball shaking my fist at it angrily.

A trickle of sweat formed on the side of Seiryuu's head. " _HE CAN'T HEAR YOU...MACHETE._ "

"Moreno you fool...I would have taken you to a brothel if I had known you were that desperate!" I continued to yell.

Seiryuu snorted. "AND NOW I WILL SHOW YOU THE DIRE BATTLE THAT YOUR SENSEI IS HAVING AGAINST CAPTAIN TIBURÓN!" Seiryuu's baritone voice boomed and echoed in the cavern.

I suddenly turned my attention back to Seiryuu. He was about to show me _sensei_ 's fight against Sebastian. Now this was something I wanted to see.

### Chapter 13: If ye were a treasure chest I'd grab yer booty

The crystal ball glowed brightly before it revealed the narrow cave tunnel where I had left _sensei_ facing off against Captain Tiburón and his magical Water Sword. Next I saw Captain Tiburón and Muramasa standing off. They charged each other and their swords clashed. Muramasa knew how to make Captain Tiburón's sword act like a normal sword by using vibrations. Muramasa banged his swords together before attacking Captain Tiburón once again.

"You think I need _magic_ to beat an _old man_?" Captain Tiburón declared as he attacked Muramasa ferociously, swinging, swiping, and slashing his sword at Muramasa relentlessly.

And Muramasa was being pushed back. Captain Tiburón continued his persistent and somewhat reckless attacks.

"Hey! Since when did everyone start to fight like me...that reckless, haphazard stuff...that's all me!" I complained with a frown on my face.

Muramasa dodged and avoided Captain Tiburón's swinging sword and ran out of the way.

"Stay still you coward! I thought you were going to teach me a lesson?" Captain Tiburón sneered as he swung his sword fiercely at Muramasa.

Muramasa ignored him and continued to lithely dodge and dance out of the way.

At this point, Captain Tiburón was panting for breath. He had worn himself out and now Muramasa's cowardly evasions seemed logical to me suddenly. He hadn't been 'running away' at all. He had been wearing down his opponent and letting his opponent tire himself out.

And now Muramasa suddenly changed his stance from defensive to offensive. He charged Captain Tiburón and using his sword managed to disarm Captain Tiburon swiftly and rather easily.

Captain Tiburón's sword flew out of his hand and a large, jagged cut formed on Captain Tiburón's hand.

In seconds, Muramasa's two swords were crossed at Captain Tiburón's throat; at any moment Muramasa could behead Tiburón like someone cutting the bud of a rose off with a pair of cutting shears. I swallowed thickly as I watched.

"You're way too reckless..." Muramasa shook his head at Captain Tiburón. "Like Machete. You have no fear, no hesitation behind your blade. You cannot defeat an opponent like that. That's why I won. You are unworthy of wielding the Water Sword...I will take the sword back and give it to Machete instead. He is more worthy of it than you."

"Over my dead body." Captain Tiburón growled threateningly.

Muramasa's expression hardened. "That could very easily be arranged, Tiburón."

"I think...not." Tiburón smiled, revealing his pointy, shark-like teeth.

And then the sound of a gunshot being fired echoed ominously in the narrow cave tunnel with a loud _bang!_

Muramasa looked down to see the pistol in Captain Tiburón's hand, and he looked down at his chest. Right at his heart, a stain of red blood was forming. Like a red chrysanthemum the wound began to bloom outwards. "Captain Tiburón...have you no honor?" Muramasa gasped.

" _Pirate_ Captain." Captain Tiburón reminded him matter-of-factly, as he raised an eyebrow at the blacksmith. "I'm the villain of this story...not the hero. I don't fight fair. I fight dirty. I fight to win. I wonder what kind of face Machete will make when I tell him that I killed his _sensei_? Will he become angry enough to try and kill me, I wonder? I sure hope so."

Muramasa's sword fell from his limp hands. He stared back at Captain Tiburón as if trying to figure him out. "There is no Yin without Yang. No good without evil. I see...you realized this and..." Muramasa tried to speak but blood filled his mouth.

And then Muramasa's body fell forward and Captain Tiburón backed up a few steps as _sensei_ 's body fell in front of him where it lay unmoving. Captain Tiburón looked down at the body coldly and nudged it with his boot. "There is no yin without yang..." Captain Tiburón murmured with a frown on his face.

[CRYSTAL BALL FADE OUT]

"NOOO! _Sensei_! Aarghhhhh! Damn you Captain Tiburón! _Hijo de puta!_ You coward! I hate you!" I yelled.

"DO YOU STILL FEEL NO FEAR, MACHETE? YOUR FRIENDS...THEY COULD BE ALIVE, OR DEAD...SOME ARE ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED. THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU TO GO AND SAVE THEM. BUT...YOU WON'T BE GOING TO SAVE THEM BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD."

_Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump._ My heart beat loudly in my chest. Rapidly. My friends...they were in mortal peril...they could die...they were going to be executed if I didn't save them. I...didn't want them to die...I wanted to see them again. I wanted to make love to Lust again! I didn't want to die! No! Not yet! I had something to live for! I had to go and save my friends! I had to find the Pirate King's treasure and buy back Cabarete Village from Captain Tiburón's evil clutches.

I was afraid. For the first time in my life I was afraid of death...of dying. I realized I had been lying to myself. I did have people I cared for and who I hoped cared about me too. I did have a dream...to find the Pirate King's treasure...to meet my Father somehow...to become the next Pirate King and improve the state of things in the Seven Seas by liberating the seas from the tyranny of the Seven Deadly Pirates!

I was trembling beneath Seiryuu's gigantic, clawed hand. "I'm afraid...!" I said amazed by it. "I...don't want to die! No...I can't die! Not like this! I will defeat you, Seiryuu! And I will get one of your fangs and then have a magical sword forged from it somehow even if I have to do it myself! I _will_ become the wielder of the Flame Sword! I will become the next Pirate King! Aarrrrr!" I roared as I gathered my strength and pushed back on Seiryuu's clawed hand-

Somehow I was actually managing to move his clawed hand off of me.

[MACHETE VS SHENLONG] SECOND ROUND. FIGHT!

I shoved Seiryuu's arm off of me, and rolled out of the way as he tried to slam his clawed hand upon me again. I stood up quickly, took a deep breath, and got into a fighting stance with my fists upraised before me.

Seiryuu let out a roar as he charged me. Seiryuu opened his mouth and viciously snapped his jaws at me-

I executed a roundhouse punch towards Seiryuu's jaw and my fist connected with Seiryuu's jaw with a _BAM!_ and sent the dragon sideways. I looked down at my fist in surprise. I had the strength...the power...it had just been buried within me all this time.

Seiryuu turned to give me an incredulous look. " _DON'T GET COCKY, PIRATE._ " Seiryuu warned as he whacked his hand at me as if he were swatting a fly.

I stood my ground, took a stance, and punched his oncoming hand. My fist connected with the center of the palm of the dragon's hand. I had almost stopped him but Seiryuu applied more of his strength and sent me flying-

I fell to the ground and rolled. Dizzy eyed, I quickly stood up on shaky limbs. _Crap._ I had to know my own limitations. The dragon was just too strong, powerful and fast. I had to be smart about this. God, that was like impossible! But...I needed to come up with some sort of 'battle plan'. Something I like never did.

Did Seiryuu have any weaknesses? I wondered. His enormous body was hampered in its movements within the cavern. I observed. This did slow Seiryuu down considerably, but despite this handicap the dragon was still very fast.

But...what if I could suddenly become faster? _Hmmm_. I stroked my goatee in thought.

I couldn't keep taking hits from the dragon. My bruises had bruises at this point and I had a few cracked ribs. I also had this nasty gouge in my back from where Seiryuu had been digging his claws in. I had already been on the verge of death. It was a miracle I could still stand. I was fighting with pure will as my strength at this point.

Also, did I really want to harm Seiryuu? I contemplated. The dragon had taught me an incredibly valuable lesson. I didn't want to kill the dragon. I realized. But I needed that fang...

First, I needed more speed. I raised my pant legs and took off the leg weights I had been wearing. They dropped to the ground and formed a small crater where they fell with a rumbling _boom!_

Seiryuu was lunging for me again. But I dodged.

Suddenly, Seiryuu's movements seemed a whole lot slower. _This is great!_ Then I spotted 'it'! _Alright!_ I ran towards the object I had been searching the cavern for – with Seiryuu flying after me – hot on my heels.

I picked up the object quickly, and turned around.

Seiryuu was coming at me head on, mouth open in a loud roar. "ROARRRRR!"

This was it.

I took a fighting stance and awaited the dragon. I raised my hand and prepared to deliver a straight right at the dragon. Seiryuu was upon me when I executed my 'punch' except that it wasn't a punch at all because I had the piece of Muramasa's broken sword in my hand - the sharp end - and I drove the broken sword forward aiming for the dragon's fang.

A resounding _crack_ filled the cavern. I had managed to create a chip in the mystical fang but it didn't break completely. The way that I was able to tell the difference of which fang I needed was because the mystical fang was glowing with a golden-tinged aura. _Oh shit._ I thought when an enraged Seiryuu swung his tail at me – it hit me in the stomach. _Oof!_ And I was sent flying into a stalactite. It shattered upon impact. My vision was blurring. I blinked my eyes furiously. I was so close to winning this...I just had to stay conscious a little while longer! I tried to rally myself.

Seiryuu was flying towards me with his mouth open. I waited until the very last minute and dove out of the way-

Seiryuu chomped down on the stalactite instead – shattering the pillar of rock. Seiryuu let out an outraged roar and searched the cavern for me, his eyes darting frantically.

But I was in the dragon's blind spot and he didn't see me until it was too late. I leapt forward and punched the dragon in the side of his jaw once more-

My fist hit the dragon's fang again with a _bam!_ There was an echoing _crack!_ next as the dragon's fang broke off. I grabbed the fang and while Seiryuu was still dazed from my punch I leapt up into the air, over his head, and brought my leg and the heel of my foot down on the very top of the dragon's head like a hammer. _POW!_ I kicked Seiryuu's head into the ground and he was knocked out cold. As Seiryuu's head slammed into the ground it formed a gigantic crater there.

KO. I landed on the ground, fang in hand, in front of the passed out dragon and couldn't believe it. "Ahahaha! Blimey! I did it! I actually did it! YEA! HELL YEA! I actually managed to beat a dragon and get its fang! UNREAL! I am _so_ the man!" I was punching the air happily with my fists.

I began to fall forward in a faint but caught myself. _No! Shit!_ I couldn't pass out just yet! I had to go back to the blacksmith's house and see if I could figure out how to forge the dragon fang into a magical sword...

I ran out of the cavern and into the adjoining tunnel. I had forgotten all about Captain Tiburón until his sword was pressed to my throat. I had also forgotten that I was still buck-naked.

"Going somewhere, Machete? You appear to be in a hurry...and where the hell are your clothes?" He looked me over with a sneer on his face. His eyes narrowed at the fang in my hand. "Ah, I see you managed to slay the dragon and retrieve its fang. I'll be taking that, if you please." Captain Tiburón drawled as he held his hand out expectantly towards me.

I turned to look at Captain Tiburón. I didn't have time for this shit! My friends were in danger! Captain Tiburón's men and the _samurai_ were going to execute my friends on this bastard's orders!

Captain Tiburón had moved to stand directly in front of me, so that he could reach for the fang that was in my hand.

_Chance!_ I headbutted Captain Tiburón – hard.

Captain Tiburón hadn't been expecting that at all and staggered backwards dazed before he fell backwards. KO'd.

I put my hand up before me in apology. "I'm really sorry about that Sebastian but I don't have time to play with you right now. I need to go and save my friends...somehow..."

I had always had a very hard head. _Heh. Oh yea, clothes!_ I turned back around and stripped Sebastian of his clothes before putting them on. I left Sebastian unconscious on the ground in nothing but his underwear.

I ran down the tunnel until I encountered my _sensei_ 's body. " _Sensei_ ..." I approached _sensei_ 's body and noticed that his eyes were still open. I knelt next to his body and reached out my hands, intending to close his eyes respectfully. "Rest in peace, _sensei_."

However, _sensei_ suddenly blinked. "I'm not dead yet, you fool!" He barked at me.

I fell backwards and stared at Muramasa in shock. " _Sensei_ ...! You're alive! Then...I'll get you out of here..." I reached over and was prepared to pick _sensei_ up but-

"You fool! Don't touch me! I said I'm not dead yet but that doesn't mean I'm okay. I'm dying. It's too late for me, Machete. And why are you wearing Captain Tiburón's clothes?"

" _Sensei_ ..." My expression fell, and I tried to smile at my _sensei_ while holding up the dragon fang to show it to him. "I knocked that bastard out and borrowed them. Look. I got the dragon fang."

Muramasa gave me an incredulous look. "No shit. I can't believe it...!"

"Oi! I thought you believed in me! Anyways, I'm going to go to your workshop and try and forge a sword out of this fang myself..." I declared my harebrained intentions, which didn't make any sense.

"Fool!" Muramasa exclaimed, "Not just anyone can forge a magical sword. It's a rare and forbidden art. The skill is passed down from father to son, generation after generation of the Mystical Blacksmiths. It was my father who taught me the forbidden art of how to forge a magical sword..."

"Forbidden art? Why was it forbidden?" I asked my interest piqued.

"Because of the prophecy, you _baka_!" Muramasa yelled at me in frustration.

"Prophecy?" I quirked my head at Muramasa.

Muramasa sighed. "You do not know of the prophecy of our world? Ai! There exists a prophecy that foretells of four magical swords being made from the Four Beast Gods and how when all four swords are gathered together it will bring about the end of the world..."

"Pfft." I snorted and waved my hand through the air in a dismissive gesture. "Everyone's been foretelling the end of the world since the beginning of time! Those Jehovah's Witnesses for example are always going on and on about how it's the end of the world. That we're living in the end of days and all that bullshit just because there's war, disease, strife, and famine. But these horrible things have always been going on. They're nothing new! I'll tell you when the end of the world is coming _sensei_ – when our sun turns into a Red Giant and swallows the earth. Or at least Santiago told me something like that. Anyways, if the art is passed from father to son does that mean that Onigiri knows how to forge a magical sword?"

Muramasa shook his head. "Onigiri refused to learn the art. He had some foolish dream of being a tattoo artist. But luckily I had a daughter with more sense. I taught Hotaru the art of forging magical swords. She knows what to do. Go to her Machete."

"But Hotaru is blind." I deadpanned.

"Fool! Do you think 'seeing' is needed to forge a sword?! No...all you need is 'feeling'. I assure you my Hotaru will be able to make you the sword that you need." He said passionately. I could tell that he believed in his daughter.

" _Sensei_ ...thank you, for everything." I scratched the back of my neck and looked away, feeling awkward.

"Don't get all sappy on me now, idiot! Go! You're wasting valuable time!" He insisted.

"Right!" I stood and turned to go.

"Machete!" Muramasa called out to me.

"Yea?" I turned around.

"I'm proud of you. When the time is right you'll avenge me won't you? You'll kill Captain Tiburón? Promise me." Muramasa was giving me a fierce look.

" _Sensei_ ...I...I promise." I swore, and felt sick to my stomach.

And then Muramasa closed his eyes with a sigh of relief. He died with a smile on his face, knowing that there was someone still living in this world who would avenge him. I had made Muramasa a promise and I never broke my promises.

I ran down the mountain path and made my way quickly to the blacksmith's house. I had to find Hotaru first and so not wanting to waste any time I kicked the front door of the house open and stormed inside-

Only to have a frying pan whack me right in the face.

I was knocked flat on my back and I thought I could see birdies flying around my head in circles comically. "Dude, those birds really _do_ exist..." I murmured thinking of the comics that were in the Cabarete Newspaper and the only section that I ever read.

"Machete!" Came Amano's frantic voice. He rushed to my side and began to help me up. "I thought you were one of Captain Tiburón's men...so I...I'm so sorry!"

I sat up and put a hand to my forehead. _Ow!_ I turned to see that Hotaru was kneeling next to me with a concerned expression on her face. "Don't worry about it, _mi amigo_. You were protecting Hotaru right? Good job, that was very manly of you."

Amano beamed. "You think so?" Amano was still dressed up in a woman's _kimono_ though so it was hard for me to believe he felt complimented by my words. I shrugged, _to each their own_ \- was my philosophy of life.

I turned to face Hotaru. This wasn't going to be easy. I was never good at this kind of sensitive crap so I decided to get right to the point. "Hotaru...your father Muramasa is dead. I managed to get the dragon fang. He told me that you would be able to forge me a magical sword out of the fang."

Hotaru looked sad and shocked for a moment, but she seemed to quickly compose herself. Quite commendable really. "Father...so he's...I see. Yes, I can forge you the magical Flame Sword, Machete." A determined expression formed on her face.

I smiled and nodded at her, pleased. Hotaru was one tough girl.

Amano, however, was outraged by my callous behavior. "Machete?! How could you be so cold? That's _not_ the way you tell someone their father has just died! And certainly _not_ how you then ask them for a favor!"

I turned red in embarrassment. "But how am I supposed to tell her then? We don't have time for niceties. The others are going to be executed! We're running out of time."

"Who killed my father, Machete?" Hotaru asked in a low voice.

I frowned, not wanting to tell her, but not really having a choice. "Captain Tiburón." _Why Sebastian...why...?_ A part of me still didn't want to believe that Captain Tiburón had really killed Muramasa.

Amano looked appalled, "Sebastian _killed_ Muramasa? But...why!"

"Muramasa wanted to take the Water Sword away from him. The blacksmith had said Tiburón was unworthy of wielding it. Things escalated from there and Muramasa was killed." I explained, and tried to keep the hate that was welling up within me at bay.

"Did my father die an honorable death, Machete?" Hotaru asked, a desperate tinge to her voice.

I remembered Muramasa's shocked face as Captain Tiburón shot him. I cringed. There was no way I could tell her about that. "Yes...he died with honor. He had a true _samurai_ 's death...he fought by the sword and died by the sword."

Hotaru nodded, looking both pleased and relieved. "I will forge you the Flame Sword on one condition..."

"Name it."

"You will avenge my father. You will kill Captain Tiburón." Hotaru proclaimed.

I swallowed, thickly. "I promise."

Hotaru nodded before going into her room and changing her attire. She came out dressed in some kind of traditional priestess/Mystical Blacksmith garb that consisted of a white _haori_ shirt and a pair of red _hakama_ pants. She had tied her long black hair back with a white ribbon. She looked charming. "Follow me you two." She said to us as she led us outside to the blacksmith's workshop that was a separate building adjacent to the house. She walked over to the forge and began to stoke the coals until they flared with a bright orange color. She turned to face me and put her hand out for the dragon fang expectantly. I handed it to her and then Hotaru placed the dragon fang within the coals to begin to heat it up. She then turned to face me and this time she put both of her hands out. "Give me your hands, Machete."

"Um, err..." I hesitated while giving Hotaru a confused look.

"Just do as she says, Machete." Amano urged me.

I give Hotaru my hands and she flipped them over to run her hands and fingers over the palms of my hands. She ran her index finger down what I thought must have been my lifeline. I swallowed. _I'm so going to die on this crazy quest, aren't I? Ah, I don't want to know!_ I thought.

She then brought her hands up to feel my face. She felt my lips, nose, and then my eyes. "You have a very kind face, Machete- _san_. And a kind heart. I know now the 'form' that your sword should take. A sword is a reflection of one's soul, you see...that's why I had to get to know you a little better. I may not be able to See like you and Amano can, but I can See with the eyes of my heart...and within you." Hotaru walked over to the forge and reached her hands out to pick up the dragon fang with her bare hands.

I instantly panicked, thinking that she would burn the delicate skin of her hands. "No!" I cried and grabbed the fang out of her hands and then grabbed her hands with my free hand to turn them over and inspect the palms of her hands to see the damage that had been done. My eye widened in surprise when I saw that her hands were completely undamaged. "Your hands...they're unhurt."

"As are yours, dragon." A small knowing smile formed on Hotaru's face.

"I don't understand. Why?" I asked her, wondering if some light would finally be shed upon the mystery of my strange affinity to fire.

"The blood of the ancient Dragon Clan runs through my veins." Hotaru began to explain to me in her serene voice. "Those who worship Seiryuu. Those blessed by Seiryuu and considered to be his people could never be hurt by fire. The dragon God has blessed you. You are a true dragon."

I blinked and furrowed my brows. "Blessed? Me? Naw..." I shook my head not ready to believe this.

"You _are_ blessed. That's why Destiny has chosen you to be the Wielder of the Flame Sword." Hotaru declared as she reached out to take the fang from me again. This time I did not stop her. The fang was glowing red, as if it were metal and not bone.

Hotaru held the long fang in her two hands and a golden aura began to surround her and the fang. She concentrated on her mystical power while envisioning the shape she wanted the fang to begin to take. The fang's size instantly shrunk in size to about the size of a normal sword and its substance began to look more metal-like.

Hotaru placed the fang on a metal anvil and picked up her hammer. She began to forge the sword. "I will forge the _katana_ in two distinct stages. The first stage is known as the _sunobe_ or 'pure form' stage that will establish the overall geometry of the blade, its thickness, and the tapers in the thickness and width that will dictate the final form of the blade. The forming of the bevel is the second stage of the forging. Beveling adds a quarter inch to the width of the blade." Hotaru explained as she formed a _sunobe_ about a quarter of an inch thicker than the intended width. "This 'pre-form' will decide if the sword will have the proper balance and tapers. So it is very important to get it right."

Once Hotaru was pleased with the overall dimensions of the blade she began to form a rough point on the blade using her hammer. Next, Hotaru hammered in the bevels. "The blade shape – _Shinogiji_ – has a ridgeline running longitudinally along the blade. I will need to forge two bevels carefully into the blade. One bevel will need to be long and sharp leading to the edge, and one will need to be shorter and thicker running down the unsharpened spine." She pointed to the tip of the blade. "As you can see, the _katana_ has a distinct 'point section' known as a _kissaki_." Hotaru first forged the point and then moved up the blade in sections with her hammer as the fang glowed an orange red.

She worked along the sword to bevel the entire blade, four to five inches at a time. "Once I reach the _nakago_ or tang I will reverse the blade and bevel the _nakago_ like so." She demonstrated this.

"The point where the blade meets the _nakago_ is called the _mune-machi_. The _nakago_ must taper gently away from the _mune-machi_ or it will be impossible to make a proper handle for the blade." Hotaru explained to us.

Hotaru then performed several heating and cooling cycles. "This process is called 'normalization', which is intended to reduce the grain-size of the steel." She then ground off scale with a grinder.

I watched intently as Hotaru then performed the final shaping of the blade using a combination of mechanical grinding – filing – and hand scraping. The overall process of forging a magical sword was much more involved that I had originally thought. I was extremely impressed by Hotaru and of her knowledge of mystical sword making.

After that the blade was ready to be hardened. "Now the blade is ready to be hardened. Over one thousand years ago Japanese Mystical Blacksmiths developed a unique method to harden blades resulting in a very hard edge with a soft resilient spine. The result is a blade with unparalleled hardness and toughness.

"To get this 'differential hardening' I will coat the blade with a thin layer of refractory clay. The blade will be hardened by heating the blade to one thousand five hundred degrees Fahrenheit and then plunged into water. The clay will retard the cooling of the blade's spine, causing it to remain soft and shock resistant while the uncoated edge will become more hardened steel called martensite."

Hotaru heated the blade in her forge while concentrating on heating the blade to the correct temperature. "If I fail to heat the blade to exactly the right temperature the blade will shatter like glass..."

Amano wrung his hands together nervously as he watched. "Ohhh!"

When the blade reached the correct temperature, Hotaru removed the fang out of the forge and plunged the blade into a trough of water. "In three seconds the sword will take its final shape." I noticed that the blade was slightly curved.

Hotaru removed the clay, ground the edges sharp, and the blade was now ready for its final polishing. "I will now do hand polishing using Japanese water stones to refine the geometry of the sword. The final stage of polishing reveals a distinct line running along the blade known as the _hamon._ This differentiates the hardened from the unhardened section of the blade. See how it resembles flames." She ran her delicate finger along the _hamon_.

Hotaru finished polishing the blade. "I will now give the _nakago_ a cosmetic filing known as _yasurime."_ I watched as Hotaru then signed the blade with her chisel.

Hotaru added a handle to the blade and then turned to face me, holding the sword out on the tops of the palms of her hands. I blinked when I saw that the sword had a different shape from a _katana_. "But that shape...it's...?" My eyes were wide.

"A machete." Amano finished for me.

Hotaru smiled. "This is the sword that exists in your heart." She informed me. She walked over to me and presented my new magical machete to me. I gingerly took the machete from her small hands.

"Thank you, Hotaru." I gave her a grateful look. "You're amazing."

"Don't thank me...just avenge my father. That is the kind of thanks I want." Hotaru informed me in a serious tone. Hotaru was so beautiful, it was a pity she was blind. I thought as I looked at the powerful Mystical Blacksmith in front of me. She seemed to have her own aura of power around her that was different from a warrior's aura. Making the machete that I now possessed had been her own battle.

"I...understand." I gripped the Flame Machete tightly. "Let's go, Amano!" I said offhandedly as I turned to go and began to stalk off.

"Aye!" Amano ran after me.

Amano and I took off running down the hill and headed for Sakura Village. We made our way into the village and stealthily towards the Town Square. In the center of Town Square Amano and I peeked out from behind a building at the center of the square to see that on a raised platform stage were-

My friends. And they were all still alive! Well, they wouldn't be that way for much longer. I realized, nervously.

Onigiri, Percivious, Lust, Sloth, Santiago and Moreno were all up on the stage on their knees. _Samurai_ in full armor were also up on the stage with them with gleaming, drawn _katana_. But none of my friends were in any physical condition to resist. They posed no threat and so didn't have any additional restraints.

I didn't see any sign of Anemone until I spotted Captain Tiburón's Elite Pirate Guard standing towards the back of the stage and observing the proceedings – Nerezza, Hellscythe and Daemon, Kouzin-Zaka and Akane. They were an intimidating sight. Anemone was conscious and standing next to Hellscythe, who had a death grip on her shoulder.

A crowd of villagers – men and women – were present to witness the execution of The Traitor, The Vampire, The Siren, The Werewolf, the Pirate Captain (my brother), and The Pirate Thief. This is what my friends were to the villagers' eyes.

The execution had yet to start. Everyone appeared to be waiting for something or perhaps they were still waiting for someone to arrive.

"Heyyy this is perfect. I'll just go in...cut loose and save them!" I declared as I started to move forward.

Amano quickly put his hand on my arm and gave me a reprimanding look. "Oi! What are you thinking? You're not thinking of just going out there without a plan are you? What's your plan? Your strategy?" Amano gave me a serious look.

I gave Amano a quizzical one in return and furrowed my brows. Maybe he didn't hear me the first time. I decided to speak more slowly and more loudly so that he would understand. "Ahem. I'm going to go in...cut loose and save them!" I repeated.

"That's _not_ a plan!" Amano objected, exasperated, and threw his hands up into the air. "Argh! I wish Santiago were here with us. He would have been able to come up with a smart plan." Amano began to fret.

I put my hand on Amano's shoulder, a serious look on my face. "Don't fret _mi amigo_ , I _do_ have a plan. It's called I go crazy...and create a diversion so that everyone can escape and get to the _Wandering Wolf_ , and I'll meet you all there afterwards!"

"Some plan..." Amano chewed on his lower lip. However-

The crowd of villagers began to part like the sea as someone approached the platform stage. This mysterious person hopped up onto the stage and turned to face the crowd dramatically-

It was Captain Tiburón. (Who had apparently managed to get his hands on some new clothes). Watching Captain Tiburón running through Sakura Village in just his boxers as he tried to find some new clothes would have been fun to watch. I was sorry I missed it.

He raised his hand in an imperious gesture and the crowd of villagers immediately fell silent. "Good people of _Sakura Jima_! I, Captain Tiburón, of the _Green Leviathan_ , have delivered unto you Onigiri – The Traitor, Rogue _Samurai_ , and Vampire-Lover! Percivious – the Vampire Priest, Master Gunner! Lust – Pirate Captain and Siren Witch. Captain Sloth...the werewolf! Pirate Captain Santiago of the _Wandering Wolf_ and his associate - a thief. I have brought these criminals and monsters before you to taste your judgment! The Elders have already spoken. These monsters have been found guilty of their crimes and judgment has already been passed. The Elders' decision is that these monsters are to be executed for their crimes immediately."

"Yeaaa!" The villagers cheered looking like some kind of angry mob. A few of the villagers had even brought their pitchforks with them, which they were waving in the air in a threatening manner. "Kill them!" "Execute them!" "Kill the monsters!" They cried passionately with their eyes gleaming with their hatred towards monsters.

Captain Tiburón smiled at this response, revealing his jagged teeth. He then turned to face the executioners. "Executioners, you may proceed!"

"That's my cue." I said aloud as I cracked my neck from side to side. "The hero always waits till the last minute to make his grand entrance!" I told Amano before I rushed towards the platform stage.

Just as the executioners – there were six executioners in all – (Just how many people populated _Sakura Jima_ anyways? They never seemed to run out of people to send against us.) – were bringing their swords down.

_I sure hope this works!_ I thought frantically as I did what Hotaru told me to do and visualized my sword growing hotter...turning red like it had in the forge – envisioning my sword becoming surrounded by flames and then-

I snapped my eyes open and looked down at my machete – it was surrounded by bright red flames! _YES!_ _This is totally fucking awesome!_ I could feel the magical power of the sword pulsing through my veins. It was calling out to me. The power wanted to be used. _Don't worry mi amigo. You'll get used alright._ I told the machete in my mind.

I set my sights on the platform stage. _Here goes nothing._ I thought. I swung my sword at the platform stage and unleashed the sword's power- "AHHHH! EAT THIS, YOU SAMURAI BASTARDS! HIJOS DE PUTA!"

As I swung my sword forward and at the platform stage, flames erupted forward and out of my sword and shot towards the platform stage in a cyclone of flames. My attack hit the platform stage and it exploded with a loud _kaboom!_ on impact.

Amano's eyes widened like saucers. "Ahhh! Machete! You just blew everyone up! You idiot!"

"AHHH!" The _samurai_ cried as they were blown off the stage.

_Oh ye of little faith, Amano._ I thought in my head. _They're not dead. They're much harder to kill than that...my friends are tough sons of bitches!_

Hopping down in front of me first was Onigiri, who held Moreno in his arms, bridal-style. _Ha!_ Next, was Percivious who held Lust in his arms bridal-style. Santiago was next with Anemone in his arms, followed by Sloth, who hopped down after him. My friends were all in one piece. What did I tell ya?

"Machete! You idiot! You almost blew me up!" Moreno complained giving me an accusatory stare.

I shrugged carelessly. "I knew one of the others would grab you. Thanks Onigiri."

"Hey, you can put me down now. I'm no woman." Moreno pointed out.

"No thanks is necessary." Onigiri said as he dropped Moreno unceremoniously onto the ground.

"Oi! Ow!" Moreno complained as he rubbed his sore ass. "Would it hurt you to be a little more _gentle_? Geez."

Onigiri merely raised an eyebrow at Moreno and made no further comment.

"I don't think that needed to be pointed out, my friend." Percivious began, addressing Moreno. "A woman is completely different from a man. The feeling of a soft, beautiful woman in one's arms has no comparison." Percivious advocated as he looked down at Lust, who was still in his arms and winked at her.

Lust looked up and blushed, but then seemed to remember who and more importantly _what_ Percivious was. "Ahhh! Put me down this instant, vampire!" Was probably what Lust was trying to say but all that came out of her mouth was a series of pathetic squeaks, making her sound like some kind of injured bird. Lust had forgotten that she could no longer speak. I noticed the thick, white bandage wrapped around her throat with a pang. I regretted that I hadn't been there to protect her. Lust struggled in Percivious' grip and began to beat her hands against his chest. Basically I'm sure she was trying to say: "Put me down, you scoundrel!"

"Whoa...wait...careful lass..." Percivious chided her as Lust struggled to get out of his arms. Percivious stumbled forward and Lust promptly fell out of his arms-

So that I was able to catch and steady her. Lust looked up at me in surprise.

My gaze softened as I looked at the bandage around her throat. "Are you alright?"

Lust simply nodded and so I let her go. I turned to look at Santiago and Anemone, who appeared to be having some kind of romantic moment. Anemone was fretting over Santiago's wound and dabbing at his ear with her _kimono_ sleeve with a distressed look on her face.

Sloth was bleeding onto the ground. He desperately needed medical treatment. Everyone did...we had to get out of there and to the _Wandering Wolf_ as soon as possible, I realized. Dulce and Corazón were probably already getting the ship ready for our departure per my instructions that I had given them before Amano and I had left Blacksmith Hotaru's house. The wounds on my back were burning fiercely too and I knew I would need stitches at the very least from where Seiryuu had racked his claws into my back. However-

"MACHETEEEE!" Came an angry, booming voice. From out of the rubble of the platform stage Captain Tiburón emerged surrounded by flames. Part of his long, dark green _kimono_ was on fire making his appearance demonic. His bodyguards also emerged from the rubble behind him and began to flank him as he walked forward adding to his intimidating air.

"Uh, Captain, you're on fire..." Nerezza began tentatively.

"I know that." He snapped and raised his sword. He then summoned the magical power of the Water Sword and he and the sword were both bathed in a silvery blue light.

The temperature around him dropped considerably and the flames that were burning the rubble of the platform stage were put out as a cold wind began to blow all around the Captain and crew of the _Green Leviathan_. The flames on Captain Tiburón's _kimono_ were immediately extinguished as frost began to form on his Water Sword.

"Machete...FIGHT ME!" Captain Tiburón yelled loudly.

"Gladly," I declared and came to stand in front of Captain Tiburón, "Take this!" I waved my machete forward and unleashed another blaze of flames Captain Tiburón's way.

I didn't wait to see if my attack hit but turned to my friends. "And now...WE RUN! COME ON!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, as I took off running in the opposite direction as Captain Tiburón.

My friends and comrades blinked and gawked after me in complete shock, but quickly pulled themselves together and ran after me.

"I don't believe this," Santiago said as he caught up to me and was jogging beside me with Anemone in his arms. " _The_ Machete is actually running _away_ from a fight? What's happened to you? Do you have food poisoning?"

I smirked. "A dragon named Seiryuu gave me a bit of a wake up call. Apparently, I was missing something and I had no idea."

Santiago gave me a curious look.

With a wave of his sword Captain Tiburón must have put out my flames because I heard his outraged voice chasing us. "Are you actually running away?! You coward! Your _sensei_ Muramasa was a coward too! Come back and fight me, Machete. Unless you're too chicken!"

My grip around my machete tightened at Captain Tiburón's words. My temper was rising...my hot, Latin blood pulsing through my veins loudly. God, I wanted to fight him _so_ badly. But I couldn't...my friends could barely stand. It was a miracle they could run like they were. If I stopped to fight Captain Tiburón I would be putting their lives in danger. FEAR. Fear stopped me from being reckless. The fear of losing my friends.

Santiago was in shock. He must have been sure that Captain Tiburón's final parting shot would have gotten to me. "Machete? Don't you want to stay and fight? He just called you a coward...you NEVER let that pass." He reminded me.

"I know..." I grit my teeth. "But it would be unwise at this current time to face him. There will be another opportunity for me to kick his ass."

Santiago gave me a wide-eyed look. "Machete...you've matured."

"Heh...maybe a little." I said, sensing Captain Tiburón and his bodyguards pursuing us through the _sakura_ forest. I realized I had to slow them down or else they'd catch up to us. The majestic _sakura_ trees...I really didn't want to do this, but I had very little choice. I was running out of options. I summoned my Flame Machete's power and swung my machete at the _sakura_ trees. They set on fire instantly and we continued our escape to the harbor.

We arrived at the hidden cove where we had anchored the _Wandering Wolf_ and as I looked out over the ocean I spotted the _Wandering Wolf_ and could see Dulce and Corazón waving at us enthusiastically from the upper deck. I noted with satisfaction that Dulce and Corazón had already weighed anchor and hoisted the sails in preparation of our arrival. There were also barrels standing next to them on the front deck, which I figured were probably the supplies they had been charged with buying. We used a longboat to reach the _Wandering Wolf_ and then the girls lowered a rope ladder that we used to make our way up the side of the ship and to the deck.

Everyone quickly took their usual positions around the ship. Moreno wasted no time in climbing up into the crow's nest. Santiago took the helm with our new navigator Anemone by his side. Percivious ran over to the single bow chaser cannon we had. Onigiri, Amano, and Lust began to run around and secure the ship lines. I ran to the back of the ship to see if Captain Tiburón had given up his pursuit.

No such luck. I watched as the _Green Leviathan_ turned a corner of the island and entered the hidden cove. Captain Tiburón and his crew were boarding a longboat and already making their way to the _Green Leviathan_ that was sailing out to meet them. It wasn't long before Captain Tiburón and his crew were climbing up a rope ladder and back onto the _Green Leviathan_. Tiburón obviously intended to pursue us.

_Crap!_ "The _Green Leviathan_ intends to pursue us!" I shouted.

"Anemone?" Santiago questioned the navigator.

Anemone looked at the sea in front of us as if she could see the currents and rocks that lay beneath the water. "Steady as she goes!" She replied confidently.

I noticed Lust struggling to tie a line down and went over to help her, taking the line out of her hands. I could see blood seeping through the bandage around her neck and she looked as pale as a ghost. "Lust...go down below to my quarters and rest. Shit...if only we had a doctor!"

Amano shyly spoke up then. "Um, err, Machete...I never told you this before but I've studied medicine."

I gave Amano a surprised look. "You have? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Well, I...I've only read it in books. I've never actually put my medical knowledge into application in real life. Well, except for sewing up Percivious' wound that one time. And..." Amano trailed off with a worried look on his face.

"And?" I gave Amano an expectant look.

"I faint at the sight of blood." He admitted. "That's why I could never become a nurse..."

I slapped a hand to my forehead and shook my head. "Amano...you can really be such a girl! Some ship's surgeon we have!" But then I grinned at my friend. "Take Lust and Sloth down below and patch them up as best you can. And don't faint. That's an order!"

Amano nodded and swallowed, looking slightly green. "All right...if you insist..." Amano took the bleeding Sloth and Lust down below.

"Santiago!" Anemone cried as Santiago started to fall forward in a faint, but then caught himself.

"Sorry, I'm alright..." Santiago tried to reassure Anemone.

I went to my brother's side and saw the blood gushing down the side of his face from his torn ear. "Like hell you're alright! Go down below and have Amano take a look at you! He's been studying medicine apparently."

"Amano? No shit. I didn't even know he could read." Santiago frowned. "I think I'll take my chances-"

"Just go!" I pushed my brother along and took the helm in his place. I watched as Santiago staggered across the front deck and made his way down below. The crew of the _Wandering Wolf_ was in a sorry state indeed.

Anemone began to speak to me in a low, hushed voice. "Thank you...he doesn't know when to stop." She gave me a grateful look, her teal blue eyes glittering.

"Yea..." I looked at Anemone shyly out of the corner of my eye.

"What are your orders, Machete? Do you want me to fire upon them?" Percivious had changed positions and was now standing next to the one stern chaser cannon we had and which was facing the _Green Leviathan_ which was pursuing us from behind.

"Fuck yea! That would be awesome!" I yelled out to him enthusiastically. We finally had ourselves a Master Gunner!

"Aye aye sir!" Percivious grinned and began to load the stern chaser himself and aimed the cannon towards the _Green Leviathan_. "The cannon is ready and loaded sir."

"Fire away!" I said.

"Aye," Percivious nodded as he lit the fuse on the cannon.

A loud _BOOM!_ sounded and smoke filled the air as a cannon ball went whizzing towards Captain Tiburón's ship. Percivious wasted no time, however, in reloading the cannon and firing another shot the _Green Leviathan_ 's way. He didn't stop there though and loaded the cannon again and again at such a rapid pace that soon the air was filled with cannon balls speeding the _Green Leviathan_ 's way as if we had more than just one stern chaser.

"Whoa." I said impressed by Percivious' skill as a Master Gunner.

I watched intently as one cannon ball hit the _Green Leviathan_ and made a sizeable hole in the side of the ship. "Aha! Take that Tiburón!" I crowed. I took out Santiago's telescope (I had borrowed it from him earlier), and looked at the deck of the _Green Leviathan_. Captain Tiburón looked furious and was directing his crew to..? _Uh oh_.

"Take evasive action! They're about to return fire!" I shouted.

"You idiot! You're in charge of the helm, _you_ take evasive action!" Moreno called down at me from the crow's nest.

"Oh yea, right." I looked down at the wheel in my hands. I turned the wheel hard to port – then hard to starboard as I tried to avoid cannon fire. However-

The _Wandering Wolf_ came to a sudden and unexpected halt as if it had hit something though nothing in front of us was visible. I turned to Anemone and gave her a questioning look. "Anemone?"

Anemone was frowning as she looked at the water in front of us, "It's not rocks, it's...Captain Tiburón!"

"Huh?" I turned around and peered at the _Green Leviathan_ through my telescope searching the deck for any sign of Captain Tiburón. _Huh?_ I couldn't find any sign of him. I was about to give up when I noticed Nerezza standing close to the ship's starboard railing and peering down over the side with a worried expression on her face.

I looked at the side of the _Green Leviathan_ and sure enough there was Captain Tiburón hanging on one-handed to a rope ladder while his other hand that held his Water Sword was stuck into the ocean as he dangled precariously over the side of the ship.

I frowned. _What the hell is he doing?_ I thought until I realized exactly what he was doing. _Oh shit!_ "He's freezing the ocean! We're going to be trapped!"

"What?" Anemone exclaimed and ran over to look over the portside railing. "He's right!"

I looked down at the Flame Machete in my hand. I had a vague idea of what I had to do. _I have to free the ship!_ I went to the starboard side of the ship and tossed the rope ladder down over the side. I began to descend the ladder.

Anemone tried to stop me. "You crazy fool! What do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm going to break the ice and free the ship!" I declared.

"Fool...there must be some other way...some more reasonable way." She frowned at me.

"Tell me, when you think of it! Bye!" I hurried my way down the rope ladder and jumped down onto the frozen sea. I hopped up and down experimentally. Whoa. The sea really was frozen solid.

I ran to the front of the ship and pointed my flame machete at the frozen water in front of the _Wandering Wolf_. I summoned the sword's magical power and swung my sword at the sea. I unleashed a barrage of flames at the frozen sea in front of us, which began to melt only...

It wasn't enough. We were still stuck. And I was completely spent. The wound on my back had reopened, and I could feel the hot blood pouring down my back. "Dammit..." I panted, feeling frustrated at my own lack of energy.

"Need a hand, Machete?" Came a smooth voice. I turned to see Percivious and Onigiri rushing towards me across the frozen ocean.

"Guys...you're a sight for sore eyes..." I let out a breath of relief.

"Let us take it from here!" Percivious declared, whipping out his twin pistols in a fluid manner.

"I don't need your help, vampire." Onigiri said in a monotone voice. "I can get the ship free on my own."

"We'll see about that!" Percivious challenged as he began to shoot the ice that was attached to the side of the _Wandering Wolf_.

"Stupid vampire!" Onigiri declared as he swung his sword at the ice and shattered it.

I gave the two a thankful look. It was only moments before the _Wandering Wolf_ was free again. Now we just had to make our escape...somehow. I sighed. I needed a vacation. Maybe the next island we went to would be tropical. There would be a nice beach, some sexy _señoritas_ in bikinis...

Anemone's face appeared as she leaned over the bow of the ship to look down at us. "Get your asses back up on deck, you scallywags. I have a plan!" Anemone declared with a confident smirk on her face.

I grinned at Anemone's attempt to act more like a female pirate. It was too cute. "Well, guys, you heard the lady." I shrugged and began to climb up the rope ladder with Percivious and Onigiri following close behind me.

As soon as we got back on deck Anemone ordered me to take the helm. "Hurry up and take the helm, Machete."

"Alright. So what's this plan of yours?" I asked curiously as I put my hands on the helm.

"It's...this." Anemone took a deep breath and seemed to concentrate – a strange sound like the inside of a seashell – or the cry of a sea creature filled the air – a kind of moaning sound. And then an aura of blue light surrounded Anemone and when she opened her eyes-

They were solid blue – her pupils and the whites of her eyes were no longer visible. Anemone then raised her hands and clouds began to gather overhead, racing past the ship as the wind suddenly picked up and filled our sails completely. Anemone pointed her hands towards the back of the ship next and a thick mist began to rise up and off the ocean waters.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Are you controlling the weather?"

Anemone smiled looking quite pleased with herself, "Yes, apparently it's something that mermaids can do."

"You still don't remember anything?" I asked her softly.

A small frown formed on Anemone's face at my words and I instantly regretted having asked her. "No but...I sensed my connection to the sea and sky, and just knew I had the power to control it."

"That's awesome...no, you're awesome!" I patted Anemone on the back. "Look at that! We're getting away!" I tried to cheer Anemone up.

Anemone turned to me and smiled then. "Good...oh..." Anemone stumbled forwards, in a swoon.

I caught her in my arms. "Are you alright?" I gave her a concerned look. I noticed how light she seemed in my arms. I had the strange and sudden urge to wrap my arms around her tightly and never let go.

"I'm fine...just tired...drained, I guess." Anemone looked up at me.

I gave her a cocky smirk while trying to make light of the situation before it got too intense. "Uh huh. I think you _señoritas_ just need an excuse to fall into my arms, right?" I winked at her.

Anemone slapped me hard across the face in response.

_Ow._ I held a hand up to my throbbing cheek. "Or not..." Feisty. I liked feisty.

"Machete...I'm worried about something. I think I should tell you. Apparently, at some point I was a part of Captain Tiburón's crew..." Anemone informed me in a low voice so that the others wouldn't hear.

"You were?" I pretended not to know since I had already overheard Captain Tiburón talking about Anemone back at the hot springs pool to Nerezza and Akane.

"Yes, but I can't remember. Hellscythe said Tiburón has been looking for me. That I'm the 'key' that will unlock the way to the Lost Island where the Pirate King's treasure is. Do you think that's true? That I'm some sort of 'key'? A tool..." Anemone gave me a sad look and I risked putting my arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

"I think you already know who you are. You're you – you're...Anemone." I gave her a warm look.

"Idiot...what kind of answer is that." Anemone pouted at me.

"Sanky Panky! Sanky Panky! Sanky Panky!" Don Juan crowed as he flew past us.

I waved my fist angrily at Don Juan, "Shut up you stupid chicken! Geez!" I turned to give Anemone a sheepish look but she just giggled at me. I thought that she was looking very cute indeed.

For some reason I was leaning forward towards Anemone. Perhaps I had the sudden urge to kiss her. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of what happened after that because Anemone would later tell me that I had simply passed out cold and that she had had to lug my heavy body down below. Apparently, I had fainted from blood loss caused by the wound on my back that Seiryuu had given me.

I had been pushing myself to the limit and had apparently pushed myself too far.

To be continued in...Sanky Panky Pirate Part II.

Japanese Sword Making Terminology:

_Sunobe_ \- Blank steel bar, ready to be forged into a sword.

_Hizu-Kuri_ – Shaping of the blade from the _sunobe_. The blade is heated and beaten to shape a small section at a time. The blade will be ready for _shiage_ next.

_Shinogiji_ – Blade surface above the ridge line

_Kissaki_ \- Point of sword

_Nakago_ – Tang or handle end of the sword

_Mune-machi_ – Notch at back marking the top of tang

_Hamon_ \- The pattern of the hardened, martensite steel as if shows on the side of the blade including the transition zone _habuchi_ to the softer pearlite steel.

_Yasurime_ – The file marks on the _nakago_

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