 
Blight (Chaos #5)

By Claire Farrell

Editing by Red Adept Editing Services

As the blight spreads, destroying the land, Cara's new subjects turn on her, and Brendan and Drake are no longer there to help her. The Darksiders thought she'd be pliable, or maybe even a miracle-worker, and it's not as easy to scrub away Sadler's influence as she thought.

But Scarlet isn't her only priority any more, and once the ceremony to swear her in as regent is done, it'll be time for Cara to join forces with the kings, find a way to stop the blight, and prove to the fae that she can be the leader they need.

It took a Darksider to steal the throne; it'll take a faery queen to keep it.

Copyright © Claire Farrell

Claire_farrell@live.ie

Cover by Yocla Designs

Licence Notes:

All rights reserved. This eBook may not be re-sold.

Chapter One

I sat on a cold stone throne and clung to my sleeping daughter, wondering what the hell I had just done. I hadn't been thinking. I had to go back and tell everyone I had changed my mind—I wasn't cut out to be queen of a stolen court. And yet my feet didn't move, and no sound came out of my mouth. I stayed there—a human perched on a faery throne earned through blood and betrayal—and watched Darksiders, my subjects, milling about, rushing to clear the evidence that there had ever been a faery king in that broken-down castle. My castle.

I looked down at Scarlet and whispered, "Our castle."

Bekind, my immortal ancestor, lay at my feet in her cursed form as a black cat. She had kept secrets from me in the past, maybe even deceived me, but I trusted her more than anyone else there. She stretched out her claws, looking more relaxed than I felt.

I gazed upon the Darksiders, seeking familiar faces. The heavily bearded Jackie and his four sons were getting drunk at the far end of the hall with Bas, the sharp-toothed chief of a tribe that had been on the run when we'd come across them on our way to face Sadler. The tribesmen celebrated as though danger didn't still hang in the air.

Rumble, one of the many illegitimate offspring of my daughter's twisted grandfather, stood by my side, his maimed face covered by a heavy helmet that revealed nothing. His presence helped me cling to the notion of safety. He had betrayed his mad king for me, but that was because he was loyal to the Dark Court—which meant he was loyal to me for as long as it benefited the Darksiders.

Sadler's terrifying tapestries were being torn from the walls by overeager Darksiders. The last time I'd been in the castle had been the night I'd fled for my life while in labour with Scarlet—the night Rumble had stood aside and let me leave, even at the risk of his own life. And when I'd murdered his king and stolen the court from Drake, who claimed a blood right to the throne, Rumble had protected me from harm because my baby had a blood right, too.

I had already been seen as Queen of the Chaos Court after I'd been forced into a marriage with Sadler. The Darksiders seemed to view my murder of Sadler and betrayal of Drake as some sort of initiation. I was truly one of them now, the bonus being my child, who was seen by many as an heir to all three courts and the only child on the Darkside to escape the taint on the realm.

Rumble's friend and relative, Vix, paced in front of us, her expression brooding. Strong and ruthless, she kept her true feelings under lock and key whenever possible. But as she rubbed her hand against the shorn half of her head, she caught my eye and frowned. Did she already regret siding with me? I had no idea what the repercussions of my actions would be.

To protect Brendan, I had betrayed Drake, but Brendan felt betrayed by both of us. Drake might have been Scarlet's biological father, but he had turned into something I didn't recognise. The last thing the Dark Court needed was a king who despised them as Drake did. But in one fell swoop, I had lost my allies. To safeguard my daughter, I needed to hold on to the throne of the Chaos Court, and that meant keeping people like Vix on my side.

I tried to get comfortable, but the stone throne only reminded me of Sadler's cruelty and madness. His wedding rings were still on my finger, but the current problems in the realm had started with Sadler long before I had ever been born. The days I had spent as his prisoner in the castle tower had been eventful, and the year I had spent back in the human realm had been dull in comparison. Perhaps I had underestimated the value of dull. Sadler hadn't been the only addict around—a great number of my choices could be blamed on my unending desire to be around the fae.

I breathed deeply, wondering how the hell I was going to take care of so many people in a land that refused to grow food, a place that tainted the children born within it until they became deformed monsters. All but Scarlet. The teardrop pupil in her left eye was the only sign of the taint. I, on the other hand, held the taint in the veins of my inner elbow.

But that was the least of my concerns. The frantic racing of the fae around me had given me a headache, and the gnawing feelings of regret kept growing.

I stood, balancing Scarlet on my hip. "Stop!"

Everyone froze and looked my way. There were so many fae. But so many more had already left. Those who remained looked to me for direction, for guidance—no, for orders. Fiadh—a tall, elegant noble from an old family who had encouraged my actions—was watching me closely, a smile curving her thin lips. Bart, a hunchback who may have come from an unreachable land, stood across the room and waited, his face alight with curiosity. Everyone expected me to have a clue about what I was doing, but I had made a mistake. I was just a human. I needed to go home.

But that wasn't what came out of my mouth. "Enough," I said. "We'll purge another day. Tonight, we eat. All of us. And tomorrow, we can deal with what needs to be done." I held up my chin. "I want to see the ones Sadler was using to stay alive."

"You don't want to see them," Vix murmured from behind my chair.

"I have to," I whispered back.

Rumble stepped forward. "You heard your queen. Prepare a meal." He nodded at Rat, my nervous maid from the time of my imprisonment. Her cheeks were no longer chubby and round, a sure sign that Sadler hadn't been feeding his people. "And ensure a room is ready for her, too."

"My old room will do for now," I said.

Some of the fae spoke excitedly under their breaths, shooting me awed smiles, but others watched me with eyes like those of Reynard, a dark-minded faery I had killed to protect my daughter. If there were more like him, I had willingly walked into the snake pit with my own daughter. I hadn't been able to trust anyone to protect her. I needed the power to do it myself, and maybe I finally had it. But could I keep it?

Rumble and Vix led the way to the staircase. Fiadh followed, leaving her tainted son with Conn, her bodyguard. The stairs were filthy, and the castle stank of neglect. What had Sadler been doing since I ran?

I stopped to look out a large window at the top of the stairs. In the distance, I could still see flags of green and silver spread across the landscape. Donncha, a hardworking soldier who had replaced Reynard, was still outside with his team, watching to make sure the other courts left for home. Home: a word that held so much meaning yet had meant nothing to me.

But as we walked up the stairs—as we grew closer to the forbidden tower Sadler's troubled son, Deorad, had been held in—a strangely content feeling crept over me. I was where I was supposed to be. I'd done it. I'd stopped Sadler from hurting anyone else, and his doctor—a man who had tortured me—was gone, too. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.

Rumble hesitated by the door at the top of the tower. I nodded at him. He opened the door, and I stepped inside, holding back a gasp. I had been warned, but I hadn't been prepared.

A life of excess and a long period of time spent in the human realm, drugged on human emotion, had left Sadler old and frail—until he'd discovered a way to harness his own son's vitality with black magic. Sadler had been renewed until the night I escaped. My last act before leaving was to put Deorad out of his misery, stopping the same black magic that was tainting the realm.

But without his son, Sadler had found another way. Half the court was related to him through his son, and he had replaced Deorad with a dozen others. Twelve comatose figures lay on makeshift pallets on the floor. Unsurprisingly, they all had jet-black hair. They appeared lifeless, but a familiar-looking woman with straw-coloured hair tended to them.

The midwife looked up and gave me a wry smile. "You're back."

"And you're still here."

"Nobody was allowed to leave when you left." She rinsed out a blackened cloth in a dank bucket. "So I stayed here to take care of these. The ones who survived, anyway."

I peered at the unconscious fae. "I don't understand. He's dead. Why aren't they waking up?"

The midwife's smile died on her lips. "Before, they only lasted a certain amount of time before he had to replace them. Now that Sadler's dead, they're dying, too. They've been under for far too long."

My stomach flipped over. I thought I was saving them by taking Sadler's life. I had just doomed them. "Are they suffering?"

The midwife hesitated. "I can't say."

I handed Scarlet to Fiadh and knelt by the closest person. She was small and young, her skin a pretty shade of lavender. She looked more like a pixie than anything else. I took her hand and squeezed her fingers, feeling a deep sorrow as I remembered how I had left my own pixie friend behind.

"There's nothing you can do for them," the midwife said gently. "They were lost as soon as Sadler let the doctor near them."

"Get them out of this room." I looked up at Vix. "Tell the servants to clear out Sadler's rooms. Set up beds for all of these people, and organise experienced faeries to take care of them. If there's any change, come to me at once."

"They're dying," the midwife insisted.

"Then they'll die in more comfort than this." I frowned. "But help might come in time."

"Help?"

Ignoring her, I took Scarlet and left the room.

Vix followed on my heels. "Don't change too much, too soon."

"Change can't come too soon to this place," I said bitterly. "While you're at it, find Rat. Tell her to come to me."

"Rat? Why?"

"She's getting a promotion." I sighed. "Just do it, Vix. Please."

"Forget the manners," she said nastily, pushing Rumble out of the way to get ahead of us.

The headache was beginning to feel like a migraine.

"Where do you want to go?" Rumble asked.

I hesitated. I wanted to see Brendan, I realised suddenly. I wanted the chance to explain. But some things were more important than what I wanted. "I'm going to my old room. Help Fiadh find some quarters, and make sure Rat comes to me as soon as possible." I looked down at Scarlet. "And I need somebody to send a message to the Miacha." I thought of the retreating army. "Tomorrow. They can go tomorrow. On Dubh."

"I'll leave you to rest before dinner," Fiadh said. "I don't need help. I'll take back my old rooms. My husband isn't here."

"Be careful anyway," I said. "I'll see you this evening."

She left Scarlet and me alone with Rumble.

"Am I crazy?" I asked him. "Is this just the maddest thing that anyone has ever done?"

He escorted me toward my old room. "Not unless you're planning on raising the dead."

And a spark brightened in my chest. I had done the right thing. Sadler had made a deal with a mad god, one that would send an army of dead to destroy the faery realm. His death had ended the deal, and the war ships had disappeared—as far as we knew.

"Think the ships are really gone?" I asked as we walked along a corridor toward the stairs leading to my tower room.

"Gods aren't easily appeased. It may be that this particular god feels we owe him a debt."

"A shiny gift in a faery circle on a midsummer's day or a gift-of-blood kind of debt?" I didn't require an answer. I already knew that Sadler's god was cruel and bloodthirsty.

We reached my room. It looked exactly the same as when I'd left. Rumble began to light the fire while I shut the door and sat on the bed. Strangely enough, I felt more comfortable in my cell.

"There are larger rooms," Rumble said. "More luxurious ones. Are you sure this is where you should sleep?"

I looked around the circular room. "A bigger room will only make me nervous—too many places to hide. For now, we're better off here." I searched in the wardrobe and found maternity clothes. For some reason, that made me smile and think of my bump rather than the terrible things that had happened to me during that time. "What do I do now?"

"The people will want to reaffirm their fealty." Rumble turned to look at me. "Expect them to come to you tonight. They think that's what the dinner is for."

"It's just so they can eat. What do I do with the fealty pledges? I mean, how am I supposed to act?"

"Accept their loyalty with the grace they deserve." He turned back to his task. "The words don't matter. You're the one in charge. You set the rules. Do not hesitate, and all will be well."

"Where's the bad news, Rumble?"

He hesitated. "Always prepare yourself for betrayal."

"From the people who live in court?"

"From the kings."

I shivered. "I don't think they'll hurt us. They might try to use us, but we can handle that."

"And if they force you to take sides when they declare war on one another?"

That made me smile. "Then I'll have to bang their heads together to knock some sense into them. What about the fae who don't swear fealty? Do they stay or leave?"

"That's your choice. Think on your policy because you'll need to be prepared."

Rat scurried into the room. Her face fell when she saw that the fire was already lit. She took one look at my daughter and got on her knees.

"Rat," I said impatiently as she crawled across the floor. "What on earth are you doing?"

She cowered. "I just wanted to look at her. Only for a second. That's all."

"Get up." I deliberately softened my tone. "Don't do that. You can look at her."

She hesitantly rose to her feet, not looking directly at Scarlet. "She's..." Rat swallowed hard. "I can't help it. They say she's our reward for our suffering, that the goddess herself sent her to us. They say—"

"Why don't you get us some water? We've had a long journey."

"Of course," she said. "Of course. I should do that."

"And Rat," I said as she prepared to leave. "I'm going to need your help with Scarlet, so you're going to be spending a lot of time with us, okay?"

Her pink eyes clouded, and she nodded.

I lay back on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut as Scarlet clambered onto the floor to explore the room. I had to be roughly twice as crazy as Sadler if I thought this was ever going to work.

***

The meal was a meagre soup, but everyone had a taste, and that was what mattered to me. I had to send the message that they were all as worthy to me as each other. The so-called elite received the same food as the maids and gardeners and everyone else.

I spoke to Deorad's offspring as much as possible, pointedly asking their names to let the court know they were no longer considered unimportant or nameless. The atmosphere remained solemn. I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting for something awful to happen.

"It's time," Rumble whispered to me at the end of the eerily silent meal. "You'll need to take your place above them now."

He had talked me through it earlier. Some members of the Chaos Court were ready to swear their fealty to me, but others were not. Until an official ceremony declared me regent, they could easily overthrow me without any recourse. I was walking a delicate line.

Swallowing hard, I picked up Scarlet and walked toward the stone thrones. I sat on my own and avoided looking at Sadler's. A slender male faery walked toward me first. At first glance, his beady eyes looked cruel, but his lips naturally curved upward in a way that made him appear pleasant.

"That's Rafe," Vix said under her breath from my left. "He'll officiate the crowning ceremony. He's clever, but Sadler never had any time for him. You need him on your side. For now."

The faery bowed low at my feet. His long, curled hair was a copper shade, meaning he was probably not related to Sadler, and he had surprisingly small black wings veined with copper. The wings meant he was unlikely to be a noble.

His voice rang out as he spoke. "I am your servant. My life is in your hands. I belong to the heir and her regent."

But could I trust him with our lives? It was time for me to make things clear. I stood and handed Scarlet to Rat, who looked mortified. Rafe stepped back, a look of bewilderment across his face.

A murmur ran around the room, and I realised everyone was staring at Rat, the one who got to hold the heir. She blushed and hid her smile.

"Be careful," Vix hissed.

I ignored her. "Thank you for being the first, Rafe. And you are free to take back those words if you don't like what I say next."

His eyes flashed to Rat then back to me. "Oh... of course."

I faced the court. "I know fealty is something some of you need to pledge," I called out. "But first, we need to understand each other. I'm not Sadler. There will be no nameless, no unworthy in my eyes. No slaves to the court either. You're all free fae now. If you wish to go, you can go. I won't force your loyalty, and whether you give it or not, you're still free to stay or go. But we need to deal with the blight on this land, and if you stay, be aware that there is a lot of work to do to repair this place. Not just our land, but our relationships with the other courts need to be fixed. I'm here because if I go, somebody somewhere will force you into fealty. It's up to you if you want to stay with me or not."

I sat down and held my breath then felt the colour drain from my face when a number of fae left the room, avoiding my gaze as they slipped away. I took Scarlet back and tried not to look as distressed as I felt.

Rafe cleared his throat. "My pledge remains intact. In fact, I'm looking forward to negotiating with the other courts."

I nodded at him, unsure of what else I was supposed to do.

He moved aside, and Fiadh strode up to the throne. Whispers about the Baron's daughter rose and fell. Fiadh knelt low at my feet, but when she spoke, her words carried across the room. "My house aligns itself with the warrior queen." She looked up at me and smiled. "My father and grandfather would speak the same words if they had survived Sadler's treacherous reign."

I had no idea what to do, so I held my hand out and helped her to her feet. "Thank you."

"I offer myself in any capacity."

Conn followed and knelt with Setanta in his arms. In a thin, reedy voice, Setanta declared the same words as his mother. When I took his hand, Scarlet giggled and grabbed his arm. The boy smiled, his eyes a little brighter.

Conn spoke words of his own, and then everything became a blur. One by one, faces familiar and strange came before me and pledged their loyalty and faith. Each time they put their lives in my hands, I trembled at the significance of what they were saying. The words merged, the faces swam, and as I touched each hand, a feeling of triumph gripped me. It was overwhelming and terrifying, but some part of me revelled in it. In my head, I danced and ran in a haze of power. I belonged with the fae. Nobody could send me away anymore. They would love me, Scarlet would be safe, and everything would be okay.

But the warmth in the room was stifling, and the rush of excitement made me jittery. Across the sea of kneeling fae, I caught Bart's eye. His grin widened as he held my gaze, and I realised he hadn't knelt at my feet or declared himself mine. I couldn't break my eyes away.

Music began to play, distracting me from Bart. A band had started up, but they played something livelier than the last time I'd heard them. I looked for Bart again, but he was gone. The seductive blur of power was over, and I blinked fast, trying to tether myself back to earth again. I needed Grim. I needed Zoe. And when I thought of what had happened outside the gates—the way Drake had looked at me and how disappointed Brendan had been—I knew I had a lot to answer for.

I beckoned Rafe to my side. "I hear you'll be officiating for us."

"If that's acceptable to you."

I couldn't hide my smile at his attempt at humbleness. "And when will the ceremony happen?"

"As quickly as possible. The Winter Solstice is almost upon us. It will give us less time to prepare, but it's... safer that way."

The Winter Solstice was the occasion that had brought me to the fae in the first place. How far I had come—from a strange human to a warrior queen preparing for a crowning ceremony. Then again, Brendan had been due to be crowned and branded during Imbolc one year, but in the end, he hadn't made it. There were no guarantees.

I tried to keep my expression blank. "And will the other courts come?"

"That I do not know. But their actions will speak loudly. We'll know who our allies are soon enough."

"And our enemies?"

He surveyed the room and frowned. "Our enemies will show their faces in time. Patience is all we have." He looked at me. "You need to designate advisers. You can't do everything yourself."

I nodded, suddenly exhausted. "But not today."

"Enjoy your evening, regent. It's been most telling."

I watched him leave. The conversation hadn't been so telling for me. In fact, it had left me more confused than ever.

The fae celebrated, but I was busy thinking of my next moves. I had to make contact with the other courts. I had to send Conn to the Miacha healers for help with the sick people in the other tower room. I had to... do everything.

Vix sat on the steps by my feet. "Your room is too small."

"It'll do."

"It's not very royal."

"Meh. As long as everyone who stays has a place to sleep, I don't care."

"This won't please everyone," she said.

"Nothing ever will."

She gazed up at me, and her mask of hate finally dropped. "You killed him in front of everyone. Even I couldn't quite believe it."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't apologise for taking what you deserve." Her eyebrows furrowed. "And he was going to take it from you. The Silver King expected you to let him take it."

"Well, he made a mistake. I won't ever let anyone take this from my daughter. Not even her father."

Vix grinned, her black eyes shining. "That makes me happier than you know."

And I forced the feelings of doubt away in order to smile back.

Chapter Two

I rubbed my temples as the nagging headache returned. "One week? Are you sure?"

The cook nodded. "We'll barely scrape by for one more week. Our supplies ran out rapidly, and Sadler did nothing to ration them."

I held in a weary sigh. I had been meeting with members of the court for the last three hours, and I was exhausted from taking stock of the casualties of Sadler's mismanagement. I had already sent out emissaries to find allies, spread the word of my takeover, and check on Deorad's secret stash of children, who were probably better off wherever they were hidden than here at court. But dealing with the problems at home took up a larger chunk of my time.

"How soon can we get people into the human realm?" I asked.

The fae looked at each other. Over a dozen of them sat around the table, most with a number of issues for me to deal with. My headache was increasing at a dramatic rate.

"We can use the same portal as before," Vix said. "We can steal from the humans, and—"

"No," I said sharply. "No stealing. That's done. Humans deserve to be treated with respect."

"Then what do we do?" she snapped. "How do we feed our people?"

I drummed my nails on the beautiful wooden table that had been delivered that morning. "I saw gold and jewels hidden in the tower. We can pay for the food we take. No, wait." I bit my lip, feeling excited. "Even better, we can buy land in the human realm and plant crops, raise animals—anything that will help us here."

"It takes time to sow seeds and wait for crops to be ready for harvest," the head gardener said.

"I know, but we'll be another step closer to self-sufficiency next year. We don't know if or when this taint will lift. We have to think ahead. We can't rely on stealing from humans to support a kingdom. I need to speak with the other kings."

"They can't be permitted to visit until the time of the ceremony," Rafe said. "It'll look as though they're trying to pull a coup if they arrive beforehand. Even if they do attend the ceremony."

"We must have something they need that we can trade, even if it's just our friendship."

"The darkness in the land has spread," said Thistle, a new arrival with intricate facial tattoos. "The entire realm will need help. They can't help us if they can't help themselves."

"Then we're back to making our own way." I frowned. "We need to set up a steady supply of food and other essentials. We need to buy land in the human realm. It wouldn't do any harm to find a secluded place there for Deorad's sick children to spend time healing. And we need to find land in the Darkside that's useful. Survival first. Then we can concentrate on other issues."

"There have been liveable patches of land," Thistle said. "But even those are rapidly disappearing."

"Send out scouts to find the full extent of the damage." I nodded at Thistle. "You can organise them. It's best we know how serious this is."

She beamed at my attention.

I tried to focus on what that needed to be done. "Okay. We're getting somewhere now. Cook, you're going to make lists of the things we need to survive for the next few months, at least."

"It'll be a long list," she said, looking exasperated.

"Then you had better get started." I looked to the gardener. "Can you be the one who looks for available land that we can use on the human side? Good, versatile land."

"I... of course." He removed his cap and rubbed his bald head. "But who will work the land? Many of us are wary of the human realm." He sat up straight. "Not me, though."

I thought about it. There was no point forcing people into situations they feared. They wouldn't work hard if they were afraid. "Volunteers. Give preference to those with corrupted children who could use a cleaner environment. If the taint is spreading still, they'll be better off away from the Darkside. We can pass on any medicine the Miacha send us and figure out a trade with them, too. We should take stock of everything we have, everything we can use, and everything we can trade."

"I'll be happy to organise that," Rafe said.

"It's a massive job. Some of you should help Rafe with that. I want to look through Sadler's things myself. Hang on—is Brighid's flower still growing in the garden?"

The gardener looked proud of himself. "Despite Sadler's best efforts, it survives, a lone flower amidst death. Our pride and joy."

"Good. Protect it, nourish it, make sure it keeps growing. If a rare goddess flower can grow in this soil, then that's a good sign."

"We will. If we grow a plant in the soil surrounding Brighid's flower, it doesn't die as quickly as in other places."

That made me wonder. "Have you heard of the First Tree?"

"A myth," the glaistig said immediately. "A legend."

I narrowed my eyes at the blood-drinking faery. "What's the legend? Tell me the story."

She pulled her feathers close. "I don't recall it."

My temper flared, but I controlled it. "Then you're of no use to me." I turned to Rumble. "I think it's time we saw what's been happening since we all left."

***

The castle looked even more run-down than when Sadler had controlled it. Every corner was full of dust and dirt. I had been woken the night before by the sound of a large stone falling from one of the derelict towers. But life outside the castle was worse.

There were as many tents as the last time I'd been there but not as many people. Some languished inside the tents, their bellies swollen and their eyes lined with red. The smell was terrible.

"Get them beds in the castle," I said to a maid who had been shadowing me. "All of them need to be inside. Get rid of the tents. Feed them. More food is coming, so don't worry about running out. Just be careful not to overfeed them. Ask the midwife to help."

Faeries swarmed me, begging for a blessing, mostly. "Queen Badb!" they cried. "The warrior queen will protect us."

I wasn't so sure.

Fiadh, Rat, and Vix stood away from the tents with my daughter. When the crowd saw Scarlet, they ran for her, almost trampling me. Rumble kept me on my feet.

Vix stood protectively in front of Scarlet, a dagger in each hand. "Come get me," she snarled. "If you dare."

That made the crowd hesitate. Vix apparently had a reputation.

"We want to see the child," someone shouted, but there was a meanness in her voice.

"The heir!" a male voice cried. "We want to touch the little heiress to the throne!"

"They'll rip her apart!" I pushed my way through the crowd. I reached a belligerent man as he lurched out to grab Scarlet. I gripped his collar, tripped him, then pinned him to the ground, my fenris-scarred dagger in my hand. The man was thin and sick looking, and I saw terror in his eyes. Ashamed, I let him go and moved toward Scarlet. People parted to make a path for me. But others in the crowd grew angry.

Donncha's soldiers marched into the fray and beat back the fae.

"Enough!" I shouted, finally reaching my daughter. "Donncha, no more violence."

"It's all they understand," he said, but he ordered his soldiers to step back. They circled us, ready to fight off the crowd again.

"We're hungry," a disgruntled voice said. "We want to eat."

"Food is being sent for," Rumble said in his steady, reassuring voice.

"I wasn't talking to the monster," the same person said, sneering at Rumble. "I'm talking to the consort."

A woman elbowed him in the eye. That kicked off a brawl that Donncha and his soldiers barely managed to settle.

"They're worthless if they behave like animals," Fiadh said. "Let them kill each other."

"No. But they're going to work for the food they receive. Everyone here will work." I raised my voice. "If you want to eat, you'll have to work for it. Go to Donncha, and tell him your skills. He'll point you in the right direction."

I turned on my heel and headed for the gardens with Rat and Scarlet, but my hands were shaking from the confrontation.

"What are you planning?" Vix asked, catching up to me. "What are you going to repair?"

"Anything I can," I whispered back. "The castle, the people, the land. The other courts might come for the ceremony. We want them to think we're coping. Even if we aren't."

"This isn't a game," she said, not unkindly.

"I know." I looked at her. "But we have to play anyway."

The head gardener came to greet us. "We've been waiting," he said anxiously. He led us into the garden.

I set Scarlet on her feet and held her hand. She giggled and tried to reach for Vix's dagger. Vix watched her indulgently.

"I swear to God, Vix: if you ever let her play with weapons, I will throw you in the river Garbh myself."

Her smile was lazy. "All little girls should know how to defend themselves."

I actually agreed with that. "Yeah, well, we just need to do it right."

"That was a decent enough move back there, by the way." She moved out of Scarlet's reach. "With my help, you could be good."

"Too bad. I was planning on being great."

She pursed her lips. "Let's not get crazy."

I gestured toward the castle. "Too late."

"But you're interested in being able to protect yourself."

"I can't rely on anyone else to save me."

"Then we have some work to do."

"Here she is," the gardener said proudly.

I tried not to sigh. The gardens were as I remembered, full of wilting plants and disappointing failures. Some of the Miacha's herbs were struggling to grow under the shadow of a withered tree that looked as though it were reaching for Brighid's flower. And even that was sort of pathetic and not at all like the flowers I had seen in the Great Forest or at Brighid's grove. When I saw it there, looking puny, my heart sank. Nothing would grow. If we didn't find a way to feed ourselves, we were finished. I wondered what either of the other kings would have done in my position. They probably would have evacuated or maybe even destroyed the land as best they could.

I looked up and saw a crow circling overhead. "We should get indoors. I've seen enough out here."

Inside, Scarlet and I shared a meagre lunch of bread and cheese with Vix and Rumble. The sooner we set up a regular supply of food, the better.

"Well," Fiadh said. "You've seen a lot today. What do you think?"

"I'm thinking I should send Scarlet back to the human realm."

She looked horrified. "You can't! The people want her. They need her. If you let her go back, we're all lost."

"She's just a baby."

"And what of my own son? I came here for you and Scarlet. We're nothing without her. She's more than a symbol. She will breathe life into this place again. We can't afford to lose her."

I looked at my plate and felt sick again. "My hold on the throne is that tenuous?"

"It's too soon to answer that question," she said. "It will settle in time. After you prove yourself, you can do as you like. But for now, she must remain. The ceremony hasn't even occurred yet, and we can't afford to let either of the kings get their hands on her."

"They wouldn't take her from me."

"One of them is her father. Who's to say what he would or wouldn't do? You certainly had no idea he would offer to let Sadler live."

I couldn't deny that. Drake had been so intent on vengeance that I thought nothing would get in the way of that. I had been wrong. His lust for power had grown until it surpassed even his anger. I hadn't known him at all.

***

We spent the afternoon looking through Sadler's possessions—mostly junk, but there were some pieces of art that were old enough to hold a great deal of value. I checked in on the new occupants of his quarters.

"Any change?" I asked the midwife.

"Were you expecting some?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Everything else has changed."

"They won't survive."

"Why would he do this?" Tears filled my eyes as I looked at each of their faces. One girl looked so much like Drake that my heart threatened to stop.

"He wanted to survive, too. Do you blame him for that?"

I felt fierce and angry and upset. "Yes. I do."

"What would you do to survive?"

That shook me. "Not this. Let somebody know if you need anything else."

I left for the tower room that was full of forgotten treasures. Even though Sadler was dead, most of the fae still feared entering the tower rooms. I decided to take advantage of that.

Scarlet was napping, so I was accompanied by only Rumble, who rarely displayed fear. The mirror that had seemed to tell my fortune had been in that room. Maybe it would show me more if I saw it again, but it had a habit of disappearing. My friends didn't trust the mirror, but I was weighed down with the fear of the unknown. Even an unreliable clue was better than nothing.

"Has the mirror been back?" I asked when I stepped into the room.

"Nobody came here to check."

"Apart from Sadler."

He nodded. "But as they say, in the end, he locked himself away most of the time."

"Are they going to kill us?" I asked in a small voice. "Am I just fooling myself?"

"It's my job to make sure that nobody succeeds at that."

That was oddly reassuring. "What did you think when I killed him?"

"I felt... relief. And a sense of sadness."

I looked up at him. He was still wearing the helmet. I reached up and removed it. He flinched and almost turned his head away from me, but I made him look at me, scars and all. His face was destroyed. The only identifying features that remained were his full lips and soft brown eyes.

"He hurt you, and you still felt sad?"

"He was still my king and my blood, even if he refused to acknowledge it."

"So is Scarlet. She's your family now."

He looked at me with sympathy. "You say these words, but you know not their meaning."

I gave him a wry smile. "I didn't have much of a family in the human realm most of the time, so you might have a point. Come on, let's look through this stuff and see what we can keep and use."

"Bart is searching for Sadler's secret stashes. We'll have an inventory in a few days."

"Good." I knelt at a chest and ran my hand through the jewels within. "What a waste."

"Sadler had no need of riches."

I moved on to another chest. "Do you think madness is hereditary?"

"Perhaps," he said hesitantly.

"Maybe everyone here is mad." I sighed. "Especially me."

We opened all of the chests and found a fortune's worth of treasures we could use for trading. My nails were broken and my hair covered in dust when I spotted a long, slim box under a pile of junk.

"Look at this." A sword was inside the box. The helm was plain and the blade dull, but my hand hovered over it, unable to move on. "There's something about this one."

"It looks old and badly made. A bit too plain for a queen."

I smiled at him. "So, you agree I should use one?"

"You need a prettier sword than that because it'll remain an ornament so long as I'm around." He lifted the sword and whirled it in the air. "It's light, though. I can't tell what metal this is."

An odd feeling came over me. I wanted to snatch the sword right out of his hand. "I wonder where it came from."

"Perhaps... from another place."

"Like across the sea."

He put the sword down in a hurry. "Anything that comes from across the sea is cursed."

I smiled at his superstition and ran my hand over the blade. I had to keep it. "I saw the human realm across the sea. Does that count?"

"It should," he said with a hint of a smile.

"Rumble, you made a joke."

"Sort of."

We looked through the rest of the boxes and sacks as quickly as we could. By the time we were done, I was exhausted.

"Is there anything in particular you want to keep?" Rumble asked. "If not, I'll have the staff clear out the room and divide the items into those that can go into the treasury and those that are worthless."

I picked up the old jewellery box I had found the magical wooden weapon in so long ago. "I'll keep this. And I want to keep that sword. At least for now. I might get it cleaned up and give it to someone as a gift someday."

He looked at me. "A king someone?"

"Is that so bad?"

"No. It's smart. With three kingdoms, it will always be two against one. Ensure you're one of the two, and everything will work."

"We're not much of a kingdom." I used my forearm to wipe a cobweb from my cheek. "We've no food. The people are dying. The land is dying. We have the smallest army of all three."

"Have faith," he said. "As much faith as we've put in you."

I clasped the sword, and my confidence grew. I might not be the warrior queen they hoped for, but I had always been a survivor.

***

The entire court had been put to work. Sneezing was a constant sound as dust rose in the air. We were clearing out the old, preparing to welcome the new. Plans to pass through the human portal had already been established, and Donncha, the cook, and the gardener all had new volunteers. Most of the nobles quietly sneered, but some of them, including Fiadh, rolled up their sleeves and pitched in with everyone else. We were desperate for beds, and most of the court had to sleep on blankets on the floor, but at least they were inside.

There had been a number of violent spats since my arrival, which worried me. Was it Sadler's or the taint's influence, or was it just the true nature of my subjects? Worse, had my act of violence encouraged theirs?

I missed finding time to be alone. In my small room, Rat liked to fall asleep on the floor next to Scarlet, who had been acting as though she'd always lived in the castle. By the door, the blond warrior Orlaith kept watch in a comfortable chair until I ordered her to rest. Donncha himself had assigned her as my bodyguard.

As for me, I lay in bed at night trying to decide what kind of person I wanted to be and what kind of person the court needed me to be. I had to be ten steps ahead of everyone else, ready for when the fae would turn on me. Because the signs were there. Not everyone was happy with the new regent.

I wasn't a stranger to history. I knew how fickle people could be. How many queens in the human realm had been loved by their people only to end up beheaded? That couldn't happen to me. At least, not until Scarlet was old enough to take care of herself.

One night, after Orlaith had fallen asleep, I found myself wide-awake and anxious after a looping dream of whispered words and never-ending mazes. I slipped out of bed and snuck back up to the tower room. Most of the boxes of treasure and weapons had already been taken downstairs to be accounted for. The room was mostly empty, and it had been scrubbed well. And in the centre, back where it had been before Scarlet was born, stood a tall mirror framed in gold.

I held my breath as I approached, almost reaching out to touch it before remembering myself. The last time I'd touched it, it had seemed to steal a piece of my soul. This was the room it hid in, the room Sadler had visited on who knew how many nights, just to see one image in the reflection. The reflection had shown me married to him, and he'd gone out of his way to make that a reality.

I circled the mirror, wondering how it moved, how it reappeared then disappeared again. Where did it go when it was gone? I stood in front of the glass and studied myself. In the reflection, my black hair was shorter, but I looked almost the same. I rolled up my sleeves to see the likeness of the black veins in the crook of my arm. I watched in the mirror as the blackness spread across my arms and hands, creeping up my neck until it violated my face. My eyes darkened, growing hardened and cruel. My own dagger appeared in one hand, but it was stained with fresh blood. The blood dripped to the ground, and I heard it fall. I looked down at my arms in a panic but only saw the black veins on my inner elbow. But there was a puddle of blood on the floor next to me, and I had no idea how it had gotten there.

I was stepping backward when I heard a whisper in my head. The mirror had called my name. I took one last look and saw a bloodied crown perched on my head. Freaked out, I fled back toward my room. Bart was in one of the hallways. He gave me a knowing smile and waved his hand. I stared at him until he turned and walked away.

Back in my room, I couldn't sleep. The mirror was a terrifying reminder of the possibilities. I double-checked my arm but saw no change. I was still the same Cara. Except I wasn't. I was a queen now.

Out the window, a movement drew my attention. Small black spots shifted on the horizon. More dots materialised. I frowned, peering outward to see what it was. In the dusk, three crows appeared. They flew directly toward my window. I faced them, waiting, until they flew right over my head. They dropped tiny scrolls of parchment onto the floor then flew outside again. They were gone before I could look twice. I picked up one of the scrolls and unrolled it.

Orlaith jumped, suddenly alert. "What is it?" she asked, breathless.

"A list of names," I said. There were six unfamiliar names, and at the very end of the parchment were written the words, "Our lives are in your hands."

That strange feeling passed over me again, as though my skin were prickling under a sharp breeze. I shoved the scroll at Orlaith and picked up another. More names.

"Fealty," she said in an awed voice. "These are important houses, my lady. And they swear fealty to you."

I read the names until I learned them by heart. The fae were always watching, and some of them thought I was worth watching.

To my surprise, I slept well that night.

Chapter Three

I felt a massive sense of satisfaction as a group of muscular fae dragged the stone thrones out of the castle. I thought, Take that, Sadler.

The castle was full of noise: shouts, arguments, banging, water splashing, and best of all, laughter. I had rolled up my sleeves and cleared out my own room before helping the midwife with Sadler's. The rest of the Chaos Court was busy cleaning and building and repairing and cooking and preparing for the ceremony. A large delivery of food had arrived that morning, and everyone in the court was in high spirits.

"We can break down the thrones and reuse the stone," said Marron, a fae with wings the colour of mud. His black hair marked him as one of Deorad's children, but he was more outspoken than most of them. He observed the removal of the thrones with keen eyes. "But we won't have enough material or bodies to finish the work before the ceremony."

"That's fine," I said. "We'll do what we can. We're not trying to impress anyone else. It's just for us."

He gave me an odd look. "Well, I should get back to it. The carpenter and the seamstress will have the new thrones ready."

I nodded as he left me. Rat was sitting in the centre of the great hall with Scarlet, Setanta, and a number of small, tainted children who had come with some new arrivals. They were well enough to work, but I wanted them to have some fun instead. The fae didn't approve, and I didn't care. Those of Deorad's offspring young enough to need caregivers were still far from the castle, but one day, they would likely return, and I wanted the fae to be used to children before then.

I wiped my fringe away from my face and wondered what the kings were up to. I had sent Sadler's twin emissaries to personally invite them to the ceremony, but there had been no reply as yet. I tried not to worry. It had been two weeks since I'd taken over the castle, and I hadn't heard from anyone outside. Food was being brought in from the human realm, so that was one issue I didn't have to worry about... until the gold ran out. I froze. We were using a portal into the human realm for food, so why couldn't I go see Zoe and my grandparents?

I practically skidded across the floor to reach Vix, who was watching over the children with a grim expression. She hated being the bodyguard of children.

"I have an idea," I said. "And I'm going to need your help."

"Unless I get to kill something, I'm not interested."

"Did I make a request?"

She grinned and looked me in the eye. "What are your orders?"

"I need to take Scarlet into the human realm for a few hours."

Her expression shifted immediately. "Are you crazy?" she huffed under her breath. "We can't leave the castle. You could be assassinated or seen as a runaway, or the kings could come here in your absence."

"Oh. And I always thought you were the sneaky one."

She pressed her lips together. "Fine. But we do it my way. Where are we going?"

I hesitated. "Home."

"This is a stupid idea. A stupid, stupid idea." She smiled again. "Let me fetch Rumble." She made arrangements with Rumble while I picked up Scarlet.

"I wasn't finished with my story," Rat said.

"She needs a nap. I'll watch over her—don't worry. Finish your story, then get some rest. I'll send for you when I need you."

She nodded and carried on with the story. As I left the hall, I felt eyes on my back. I looked over my shoulder and noticed Fiadh watching. I gave her a smile and went on my way. Rumble and Vix quickly followed.

"This is a bad idea," Rumble said.

"So I'm told. Now, let's go."

***

Rumble looked far too large for my grandparents' home. I hadn't realised just how tall he was in the high-ceilinged rooms of a castle, but in a two-bedroom semi-detached, the height thing was definitely noticeable. Gran kept giving him odd looks, probably because of the helmet. Then again, Vix was wearing her usual skin-tight black-leather clothing, I was covered in dust and grime, and Scarlet wore a ridiculous and pristine baby gown that Rat had gone gaga over, so we weren't exactly what anyone expected.

"Zoe's on her way." Granddad reached out to squeeze Scarlet's hand. "Your baby has grown so much."

"She hasn't forgotten this place anyway," I said as Scarlet headed straight for the toy box in the corner. "I'm sorry I haven't been back. It's been... crazy."

"Zoe told us some things," Gran said.

"This is Vix and Rumble, by the way. They're Scarlet's aunt and uncle through blood."

"We don't claim the same ancestry," Vix said. "We are the nameless, and she is a princess."

My grandparents exchanged bewildered glances.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't listen to her. She's always in a bad mood."

Vix snorted softly. An awkward silence ensued.

"Your mother's been asking for you," Gran said after a while. "She visits us every now and then."

"Have you had any trouble since we left?" I wasn't sure what to think about my mother, so I put the topic of her aside yet again.

"No trouble." Granddad hazarded a glance at Rumble, who seemed to be growing by the second by the way he was filling up the room. "I take it you're safe."

"Of course," I lied.

When Zoe and Líle arrived twenty minutes later, I almost collapsed with relief.

"You're both here," I said, hugging them. "You're both okay."

Zoe smiled, but she was still a little pale. When she had gone to the faery realm, she had almost lost her mind. She could never go back.

"Have you heard anything?" I asked as we all sat down. Vix and Rumble refused to sit.

"Very little," Líle said. "And I dare not believe the rumours."

"Rumours?" I said, stalling.

"Cara, just tell us what happened," Zoe said. "Your version."

I met my grandfather's gaze. "You're not going to like it."

"We're on your side, Cara," he said.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, feeling more vulnerable and human than I had in weeks. In the faery realm, I had been congratulated for my actions by most fae, while others were merely disappointed that I had taken away their chance of power. Nobody was sad or angry that I had taken a life. And in the real world, the one I was supposed to belong in, there was no context for my actions. I was a murderer. Therefore, I deserved to be punished. There was no way to sugarcoat it for humans who had rules I couldn't obey if I wanted to survive the faery realm. And there I went, making excuses again. It was time to be honest with my grandparents... and myself.

"I killed Sadler," I said in a small voice. "And I kind of... took over the Chaos Court." I felt their gazes on me and shivered. "It wasn't like I planned it. Not really. It just sort of... happened."

"It was an accident," Gran said hopefully. "You didn't mean it."

I curled my fingers into fists. "Gran, I meant it."

"They wanted you to kill him," Zoe said in an angry tone. "Did they make you do this?"

I finally risked looking at her. Two pinpricks of red dotted her cheeks. "They didn't make me, Zo. Drake was going to spare Sadler and take the Darkside into his territories. But I... I got in the way and changed everything."

"Drake?" Líle asked, incredulous. "He was going to let Sadler live after everything he said and did?"

"He wanted power," Vix said bitterly. "All men are swayed by power."

"He doesn't care about the Darksiders," I said pleadingly, hoping my human family would understand. Líle would get it—I was sure of that—but the others lived by different rules.

"He wanted to kill them all," Zoe said thoughtfully. "I remember that. He was angry, and he was happy to take it out on innocent people. And you stopped him. How?"

I covered my burning cheeks. "I... threatened him with the same knife I used to kill Sadler. And the Darksiders kind of got a kick out of that."

Gran reached for my grandfather's hand. I hated causing them pain, but none of us were perfect, and they deserved to know the truth about me.

"Well, it was the child, too," Vix said when the room filled with silence. "The child with a warrior queen for a mother."

I scowled at her mocking tone. "They wanted an heir, and I was there with Scarlet, and they just... let me in. It was easy in the end. And the ships disappeared. I've no idea if they'll stay gone. Sadler's deal was broken when he died. But the people he was using to keep himself alive haven't woken up yet. The midwife thinks they're dying. I'm just hoping the Miacha come through for us in time."

"How did you get here?" Gran asked.

"We have no food, so we set up a path between the realms so we can buy what we need. We snuck away through the same path today."

"I don't understand," Granddad said. "What does any of this even mean? Are you coming home?"

"No," I said softly. "I can't come home. Not now. They need me. I'm... their queen now."

"But you're just..." Gran shook her head. "I was going to call you a child. You're anything but a child."

"Because I'm considered a serial killer in the human realm?" Sadler hadn't been my first victim.

A gasp escaped her lips. She couldn't look at me then, and I felt a twinge of regret for shocking her. It was so much easier to judge myself—and forget the brutality of the courts—when I was safe in the human realm. Away from the faery realm, it was harder for me to justify the things I'd done. But I was already on this path. I couldn't veer off, or all would be lost.

"Scarlet is our princess," Vix said huffily. "Cara couldn't leave with her even if she wanted to."

A shiver ran down my spine. That was too true. "Somebody needs to take charge, and I've survived, so it's me."

"You're a queen," Granddad said slowly. "In the faery realm. This is madness, Cara." But he laughed, and that set me off into nervous giggles.

"I know. It's crazy. But that's how things stand. There's going to be an official ceremony soon. I would invite you, but... it's too dangerous. For all of us. I can't have people I care about around me because they'll just be at risk. Scarlet's in so much demand that she's safe."

"Are you safe?" Granddad asked.

"It doesn't matter as long as Scarlet is," I said firmly.

"You can't stay there forever," Gran said. "Not forever."

"I'm going to ride out this storm and figure out what to do from there," I lied. I couldn't imagine returning to the human realm for good and losing all of the magic and madness forever. Even sitting in that little house, I ached to go back. It would feel like going home.

"You would leave?" Vix began in a huff.

"Vix," Rumble said warningly. "Enough."

Vix glared at me.

"I'm not planning anything either way," I said. "We don't know what's going to happen."

We stuck to safer subjects after that.

"What happened when you left?" I asked Zoe.

"I don't remember much," she said.

"She had another episode on the way," Líle explained. "She was delirious. When we came back to the human realm, she calmed. We took her here because... well, questions."

"Yeah, I get that," I said. "No episodes since?"

Zoe shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "Nightmares sometimes. Are you leaving Scarlet with us?"

I shook my head. "I can't. It's too dangerous to do that right now."

"It's a pity she can't have the best of both worlds," Zoe said.

I sank deeper into the chair. "Maybe someday."

"I'm going to return to the faery realm. I'll join you in the Dark Court as soon as I tie things up here," Líle said. "I should have come already, but..." She glanced at Zoe. "I swore to protect Scarlet, and I will continue to do that."

"You swore to do that while you ran with her. That's over now."

"It's just beginning," Líle said. "You need people you can trust around you."

I ran my hands over my face. "I don't know. It could be risky. For you, I mean. You've worked for both kings. People could get the wrong idea about you now."

"Let them." Her eyes sparked and glistened with fire, and a knot I hadn't realised was still in my chest loosened a little. I needed a familiar face in the Darkside.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

She reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "I made an oath of my own. You may not realise it, Cara, but the promise you persuaded me to make saved my life. I know how things work in the Silver Court. You need all the friends you can get."

"They'll call her a spy," Vix said loudly.

"It's none of your business." Rumble nodded at Líle. "They'll see you protecting the child. That will be enough for them."

Zoe squeezed my hand. "I can't say I wish I was going back there, but I do wish you could stay here. Don't leave it so long next time. Come back to me, okay?"

I wrapped my arms around her and relished the contact. Zoe was human and full of love. There were no agendas. She cared about me and Scarlet, no matter what I did. "I'm sorry about everything. You will always be my best friend, Zo. You'll always be..." I hiccupped a sob.

Zoe held me tighter. "I know. I'm sorry if I sounded like I was judging you in the faery realm. I never got the chance to tell you that. I just worry about you, but it was never my business. I shouldn't have made you feel guilty for doing the best you could in the circumstances. You're right. It's a different world, and you have to do different things to survive."

"No, you were right." I pulled back and wiped a tear. "You know me better than anyone. I'm too much of a coward to ever put my trust in..." I squeezed my eyes shut. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just glad you're safe."

She held my face in her hands, her blue eyes glistening with tears of her own. "Don't forget who you are," she whispered. "Remember how far you've come by being yourself. Don't let them believe you have to be cruel. Don't forget to feel."

"But the mirror, Zoe."

"Fuck the mirror! It showed you an image, but maybe it was a metaphor. Maybe it showed how you'll end up if you keep blocking off your feelings. Maybe what you saw is just a possibility of how you could end up on the inside when you don't let yourself feel."

I pressed my face against her shoulder, trying not to fall apart completely. She would always know what to say to make me feel better. She would always anchor me to a world that was real. I needed that for Scarlet, too. I had to find a way.

"We need to get back," Vix said.

I knew she was right. We said our goodbyes, and I tried to control my sudden homesickness.

"I'll check the perimeter before we leave," Rumble said.

I nodded and turned away from my grandparents to wipe my eyes. When I cleared my vision, I saw Vix staring at me. "What?" I asked.

"It's just that—"

The clash of swords drew our attention. "Líle, stay here," I cried as Vix and I ran outside. And then I stopped short in surprise.

Rumble was wielding his sword against a familiar faery king on my grandparents' grass.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded. But both men were too concerned with attempting to lop each other's heads off to pay any attention to me. Brendan's red-gold hair shone as he whirled around Rumble, faster than my bodyguard but not as bulky. With alleged giant's blood in his heritage, Brendan was taller than every man I knew, barring Rumble, and they appeared to be a good match.

Vix yawned and leaned against the wall. "I wouldn't have run so fast if I'd known it was him."

"Vix, help me stop them!"

"Why?"

Brendan jumped into a somersault and landed in a crouch, avoiding the swinging of Rumble's sword. Both men were large, but Rumble was broader. Brendan spun and swung, but Rumble parried.

"Stop it!" I called out.

"They'll get bored eventually," Vix said, sounding uninterested.

But Brendan's eyes were gleaming with bloodlust, and Rumble wasn't holding back. The fight continued for less than a minute. Then Rumble drew blood, and that provoked an intensified reaction from Brendan. I watched in awe as he moved faster than I had ever seen. There was something raw and frenzied about it all.

"You're enjoying this," Vix said in disgust.

I glanced at her long enough to show my disapproval. By then, Brendan was swinging harder, faster, and more aggressively than before. Rumble parried again, and they struggled, pushing sword against sword.

"That's enough!" I shouted, getting too close to them.

Rumble knocked Brendan's arm, and his sword came close to my chest, slicing a tiny slit in the fabric. I gasped in alarm, feeling every nerve ending go on alert. My skin prickled at the sensation.

Rumble disarmed Brendan, but the king pounded the top of Rumble's helmet. It cracked, and Rumble stumbled backward.

Brendan ignored him and searched me for injuries. "Did I cut you?"

With a huff of frustration, I shoved him away. "You big bully! Leave him alone."

"Him?" Brendan gestured at his bleeding arm. "The lunatic cut me."

"He defended his queen. You're lucky you still breathe." Vix spoke lazily, but one look at her told me she was cowed.

"Why are you here?" I asked. "Why are you fighting my bodyguard?"

"He's your bodyguard?" Brendan looked Rumble up and down. "Humph. A good choice." He settled his gaze on me then, and I got caught up in memories of events that felt as though they had occurred a century ago. "I told you I would protect your family. Someone is always watching. When I heard you were here, I thought I would... make sure nothing was wrong."

"I'm not running away, if that's what you thought," I said. "I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay here."

"The child is here."

I shrugged. "We snuck out."

"You're someone else's problem now. I had almost forgotten." His eyes narrowed, that bloodlust still firing. I had to calm him down if I wanted to talk to him properly.

I turned to look at the others. "Give me a minute, please. Inside. I'll be fine."

Rumble hesitated for only a second before shoving Vix toward the door. When they were inside, I turned to Brendan.

"I thought... I don't know. I thought I'd have heard from you," I said, trying to hold his gaze.

His green eyes roamed my face. "And I thought we'd said all we had to say. In my court, I've been busy dealing with the aftermath of your little display with Sadler. What you did actually affects my people, Cara, and you put a dent in their faith in me."

"I'm sorry!"

He looked startled. "I'm usually the one apologising."

"I didn't plan the way it went down. I didn't plan on being a queen or regent or whatever the hell it is I am now."

He ran his hands through his hair. "You didn't trust me to protect you."

"You told me not to trust you. You warned me I was forgettable, that you would never want to keep me."

"I said that when—"

"It doesn't matter! I can't take that risk for Scarlet. I can't. I have to know she's safe, and the only way I can do that is to give myself an advantage in the faery realm."

"This obsession has clouded your already-selective memory," he said, frowning. "You remember the bad and never the good."

Obsession. That had always been my problem. I latched on to ideas that I thought would fix problems, make me happy, and change the world around me. I always aimed for goals that were out of my reach. Even my human friends used to joke about "Cara's latest obsession." I had been obsessed with Drake making things right, and lately couldn't stop thinking about Scarlet's safety. Brendan was right. He had given me more reasons to trust him than not, but I hadn't been brave enough to rely on him. More than that, I was terrified of being hurt by him because that would mean losing him.

"Drake would have been more powerful than you," I said, panicking. I had seen in a strangely quick flash that I didn't want Brendan to hate me. Ever. And his mood had clearly soured since I'd seen him. "He would have used that."

"You're angry with him," he said slowly. "That's understandable."

"What? That's not it! Didn't you hear him?" I seethed with anger at the memory of Drake offering to spare Sadler. "He would have taken it all, just to be more powerful than you. That was more important to him than even killing Sadler."

"He claims it was a trick to force Sadler to end his deals peacefully with this god. In fact, he says that you ruined his plan to the extent that you may have cursed us all."

My hands shook. Had I made a mistake? "No, he... no! I saw it in his eyes. He would have killed for that power. He would have done whatever it took, including saving the man who would have turned him against you."

"Don't pretend this act was all for me. Don't play with me like that. Not again."

And then I realised: he thought the feelings I had projected when I kissed him had been a lie.

"If you imagine I wasn't thinking about you when..." I touched his arm, and he winced. "I forgot you were hurt," I said, losing track of my argument. "Can I help?"

"I'll survive." He gripped my arms. "But will you?"

I relaxed at his touch. "I'm trying to."

"Look at you—always able to tell us what we need to hear." His sudden laugh was harsh. "Always the survivor."

"It's not my fault. I didn't want any of this, Brendan, and you know that."

"I bring a powerless human into my home who not only has a child by one king but marries and murders another and then steals his throne. Do you truly believe anyone suspects that this was not your plan all along?"

"Sadler forced me. You know what he did to me. How can you talk like I wanted any of that to happen?"

His expression remained hard. "Does it matter? Do you think my court will ever trust you now? The great manipulator. From nothing to a queen. How she must laugh at the Green king's naivety."

"Brendan, stop this. Stop acting like we're not friends."

He let out a sharp breath. "Friends. Is that what we are, Cara?"

"You know the truth." I took his hands. "You know who I am in the ways that count. And I know who you are."

"Do I? Do I know who any of you really are underneath?" He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Or am I just outmanoeuvred by a..." He shrugged off my touch. "I hope you don't get yourself killed, Cara. I really do."

A lone tear rolled down my cheek as I felt another friend slip through my fingers.

He brushed it away from my cheek without hesitation, but he dropped his hand just as quickly. A sharp pain shot through my chest. I had experienced an instant attraction to Drake, but Brendan and I had developed what I thought might be a true friendship. And then I had ruined it.

But I couldn't let go so easily. "Please come to the ceremony. Please be there for me, Brendan."

"Goodbye," he whispered. He turned to walk away.

"I miss you," I called out after him.

He hesitated for just a second, and then he was gone.

Chapter Four

The androgynous twin emissaries, Caellan and Fallon, returned to court and were met with a different kind of chaos. They looked bewildered as they were invited to join me at a table. The new thrones weren't finished yet, and I didn't see the point of looking down on people anyway—I had decided sitting across from people at a table was a better way to deal with the crowds.

Almost identical, the fae before me were slight and slender with a rich cocoa colouring to their skin. I wasn't sure if I could trust them, but before Grim knew who they were, he had remarked on how good they were at their jobs. For now, that was enough for me.

"We did as you said," Caellan, the one with the mole under his left ear, announced. "We separated and personally invited the kings and their trusted subjects to the ceremony."

"And the daoine sídhe?"

"She's in the Silver Court with her daughter. She accepted the invitation."

"Okay, tell me what happened when you approached the kings. Green Court first."

Fallon's shimmering wings twitched. "I was the one who met with the Green King. He saw me in his study, as a matter of fact."

"And who was with him?"

Fallon arched a brow before answering. "A brownie and the bodyguard-turned-general. I heard rumours that they are his trusted pair and that he will see nobody without them."

I resisted the urge to bite my fingernails. "So, what did he say?"

"I gave my speech, and he graciously listened. He then thanked me, and bade me to thank you, for the invitation."

"But did he say yes? Is he coming?"

Fallon hesitated. "He said he would send his reply in due course."

"He didn't say no."

"He didn't say yes, either."

"What does that mean?" I asked, frustrated.

"I assumed he wished to assess the risk with his trusted advisers."

I nodded as though I weren't disheartened. "That makes sense. How were you received?"

"Very well. I was fed and given a room for the night. It was more than adequate. I met up with my brother the following morning."

"How did the court itself react to you?"

He inhaled deeply. "They were neither rude nor friendly."

"How was the Silver Court?"

"A strange experience," Caellan said. "I was received in a large hall in what was once the Unseelie castle. The king and queen do not sit close to each other. Some subjects go to the king. Others plead to the queen. She sits with the leanan sídhe while the king sits with the daoine sídhe. The court, including the leanan sídhe, openly mocked me."

I groaned at my ancestor's rudeness. "I'm so sorry. Donella's a megabitch."

"Er... quite. The queen was embarrassed. The king sat very quietly until I finished my speech. He told me he would attend the ceremony. And then he picked one of his own subjects out to be made an example of."

"An example?"

"For mocking me, my lady. He killed him in front of me, and for the first time, the queen moved to his side to join him. It was... ceremonial. They offered their own subject up as a sacrifice to their god."

"Sacrifices," I whispered. When we first met, Drake risked his life to spare me from being sacrificed. How could he have changed so much? And I had been horrified by death. Now I caused it. How far I had lowered myself with the fae?

"I must admit, even though I was used to a king like Sadler, I found the process unsettling. The man suffered. The queen left the hall after that, and I was forced to remain until the day at court was over. I was given a place at the king's table and a bed in the servants' quarters and then sent on my way."

I frowned. "What do you make of it?"

"There are power struggles within the Silver Court," he said hesitantly. "It is hard to predict the king's intentions."

"He might not come?"

He shrugged. "I do not know. He may send a representative in his place. The daoine sídhe sent her well wishes to you and the lady Fiadh."

We were interrupted by a number of crows whooshing into the hall. The fae chattered excitedly as a pile of scrolls was dropped at my feet.

"Fealty." Caellan sounded surprised.

I nodded grimly then picked up one of the scrolls. I read aloud from each of the documents. A number of fae cheered when they heard the names.

"Good families," Fallon said. "And more will come."

"Why?" I asked. "Why are they choosing us now?"

"Perhaps the tribesmen you dispatched are more diplomatic than my brother and I thought," Fallon said. "But I would guess the child is the draw."

I glanced over at my daughter. So much was being placed on her shoulders without her knowing it. "I'm going to select advisers today," I said. "Any suggestions?"

"Take some of the old bloodlines," Caellan said. "And at least one from the new families."

"What about Rafe?"

They exchanged an indecipherable look. "Rafe would be an excellent choice," Fallon said. "I would also suggest a warrior or a scholar to round out the depth of experience."

"And a pair of emissaries?" I smiled at their reaction. "Go. Eat and freshen up. We have a lot to do still."

They hesitated. "You have been busy in our absence."

I relaxed as I thought of the progress we had made. "There's no point sitting still."

"We have other news." Fallon's expression grew grim. "It is not our news, but it's news all the same."

"What is it?"

"The darkness that's killing our soil and our people has spread virulently into neutral territory and beyond. As we passed through the Great Forest, we saw many ancient trees withering. Death will come soon."

"Unless somebody does something," I murmured.

"Even if we knew how to stall the spread, the damage has already been done." He gazed at me with serious eyes. "The realm may never recover from this."

"Then we'll have to hurry up and fix it," I said, and I bade the next person to approach.

***

Scarlet toddled around the room, clutching a stuffed rabbit Zoe had given her, similar to one I had owned as a child. Bekind was inconveniently absent, as she had been for days. I was still staring at the clothes in my wardrobe, wondering what a queen wore when she met her new advisers for the first time. I barely knew most of them, and I worried the meeting wouldn't go well. I had grand ideas of the court becoming some kind of democracy, but that might be a step too far for the Dark Court right then.

"Come on, butterfly," I whispered. "We need to get ready. We've a big day ahead of us."

Scarlet looked at me and gave a smile devoid of cunning or cruelty. I knew I had to do whatever it took to preserve her innocence.

Fiadh had organised an official meeting room for us. The large oak table in the centre of the room was surrounded by comfortable chairs. The stone walls were covered in dark tapestries that had been retrieved from Sadler's stash of goodies. Shelves were stuffed full of books I had never seen. A display cabinet of oddities nestled in the corner of the warm-toned room, and an area for Scarlet to play in waited on the far side.

I traced my fingers along a Celtic symbol of four linked circles embedded in the table. "The round table," I whispered.

"The first of my name built it by hand many generations ago," Fiadh said. "It's beautiful, is it not?"

"Not that I'm not grateful, but why did you bring it here?"

"When Sadler encroached, my grandfather sent some family heirlooms away in case they were damaged. I simply took them back once I felt safe again. And that was when you took this court for yourself." She cocked her head. "Besides, we don't need the other courts to see us as their poor relatives. Many a war council has met around this table. We should start as we mean to go on—at the top of the food chain."

As I was about to protest, the advisers began to arrive. After taking a seat as directed, most gave surprised looks at the children playing in the corner of the room, but nobody commented.

I slipped into my seat and took a good look at those around me. Fiadh had helped, but ultimately, I had used my instincts when deciding whom to invite. Surrounding me were the twin emissaries, Caellan and Fallon—the obvious diplomatic choices—Donncha, who was in control of the army, and Rafe, who was amazingly skilled at managing logistics. Also present were Thistle—who took charge of our husbandry, farming, and household needs—and an ancient-looking scribe called Levin, master of lore and education, as well as Marron, who had innovative ideas about rebuilding the realm. And finally, there were Fiadh, who knew a lot about the noble families, and Bart, an odd character whom I wanted to understand. Truthfully, I took Bekind—whenever she showed herself—Rumble, and Vix as my own personal advisers, while the others were the kingdom's advisers.

"You're all here because you bring a unique perspective," I said. "You've seen this court, and this realm, from different levels. If we're going to be able to support and defend ourselves, then we'll need to consider every angle. We cannot afford a war, and we need to deal with the blight—because that's exactly what it is. This blight is spreading rapidly." I nodded at the emissaries. "Tell them what you saw."

Caellan nodded. "On our way to deliver messages to the other courts and potential allies, the land looked to be in a grave state."

Fallon added, "And on our returning journey, matters had already deteriorated further. The land is withering away, not only in our territory but in others as well. Something has happened to speed up the process."

"What can we do about this?" Rafe asked.

"When the other courts come to us for the ceremony, I'll ask the kings for their help in ending the spread. Someone in the realm must know what we should do."

"And if they don't?" Marron asked.

"Then there won't be a realm for much longer." I rapped my nails on the table. "And we'll have to move elsewhere."

"If this spread is truly quickening, there may not be anywhere else to go," Levin said.

"Then that stays in this room until we know more," I said. "But Levin, try to look into the old volumes of books we found. There might be records of similar cases in the past."

"I will," he promised.

"And when the other courts arrive, we need to present ourselves well. They can't know how weak we are."

"Do you suspect an attack?" Donncha asked.

I frowned. "A king would need to be sly about taking over this realm. But that's not my biggest concern right now. The doctor is dead. Sadler is dead. The ships are gone. But what if they reappear? We need to be prepared for anything."

"That can wait until after the ceremony," Bart said. "The sooner you are officially sworn in, the better. We can't brand you as a royal, but naming you regent is the next best thing. Your daughter will be part of the ceremony, of course." He glanced over at Scarlet, and his eyes narrowed. "So keep her well, my lady."

***

A representative of the Silver Court arrived with a gift of two young hounds. "They will guard you and your daughter." The unfamiliar fae bowed low. "And my court will be only too glad to come to the celebrations. We thank you for the invitation."

I nodded. "Of course." The pups were shaggy and wolflike. The black dog had piercing blue eyes while the smaller snow-white bitch had black eyes and a black patch of fur around one eye.

Drake's emissary lifted the pups in the air by the scruff of their necks. "They are a breeding pair. They will soon be large and fast—good hunters."

"And safe around children?"

"They are bred for protection. They will be fiercely protective of those who care for them."

I wondered if Drake assumed Scarlet and I would be the only ones capable of truly caring for the dogs.

The emissary brought the pups to my lap and knelt at my feet as I snuggled them. He lowered his voice. "The king in particular wonders if you need assistance by way of soldiers."

"Does he now?" I murmured. I raised my voice. "Tell your king that I thank him for the gifts. And your queen also, of course."

"Of course. I should tell you that we travelled far to find these pups. Their offspring will be very valuable and useful. Our king would like you to know that he would appreciate the opportunity to purchase a dog from the first litter."

"Of course. They are beautiful." I waved a servant over to me. "Take the emissary to his quarters. He is our guest. Ensure that he has whatever he needs."

The emissary bowed again and followed the servant, leaving me with the puppies.

"What the hell do I do with these?" I asked, laughing, as the pups fought on my lap.

Some of my advisers crowded around me to take a closer look.

"This is an extravagant gift," Levin said. "A sign of great favour."

"A pair of dogs?" I asked.

Rafe gingerly lifted the black pup's ear until the animal snapped playfully at his fingers. "This is a cú sídhe. It's... very valuable."

"I've never heard of a white one before." Thistle frowned at the second pup. "It's a beauty, but a white cú sídhe?"

"It's defective then," Fiadh said crossly. "An insult. This is no breeding pair."

"No," I said softly. The patch of black hair on white reminded me of my daughter's pale patch through her dark hair. "It's not an insult at all. So, you've never seen a white one of these?"

They all looked at each other. "I've never seen a black one either," Fiadh said with a smile.

"Are they rare?" I asked.

"Something like that." Thistle knelt and stared at the white dog in the eyes until it growled at her. "They've been gone for a very long time."

"The emissary spoke truly." Rumble lifted the dogs out of my lap. "According to the tales, they will protect and hunt, and on the battlefield, they will make any warrior think twice. This is a good gift."

Levin let out a startlingly high-pitched laugh. "The Silver Court favours you still."

"Even though I stole the Darkside?" I murmured.

"Perhaps especially because of that," Thistle said with a mischievous grin. "Who wouldn't respect such an act?"

My cheeks burned. "I've never owned a dog before. How do I train them?"

"You don't train a cú sídhe," Rafe said, and the others laughed as though it were a great joke. "But you need never worry about an enemy sneaking up on you. This dog is mostly silent, but when a fully grown cú sídhe howls, the people of the world will feel the ground tremble beneath them."

"Don't exaggerate," I said with a smile. "Come on then, faery dogs. Let's go see what the children think of you. And try not to pee on me."

The white dog yelped as though it understood me, and I bit my lip as the others looked at the animals in wonder.

The children were in the garden with Rat and Vix. Conn still hadn't returned on Dubh, which made me nervous. Rumble carried the pups outside while I walked alongside Fiadh.

"What's the significance behind the gift?" I asked.

"That Scarlet's safety is important," Fiadh said. "And there is a concern from the Silver Court in that regard. I do wonder how they managed to get their hands on these pups. A breeding pair means they came from different bloodlines."

"Are they really so special?"

"Legend says."

We reached the children, who were digging in the dirt in their very own patch of garden. No plants would grow there, but at least it was an excuse for them to get out of the stuffy court and outside into the fresh air. Scarlet's hands were black from the soil, and my heart beat in double-time at the sight. Although a couple of the Miacha's herbs had managed to grow around Brighid's flower, most of the gardens were dead. But if Scarlet could help tainted children heal, then perhaps she'd be a good influence on the land, too.

I knelt by Scarlet and Setanta, trying not to think about the problems. "We got a present, Scarlet. Look."

Rumble dropped the pups next to us. They immediately rolled over for the children. Rat almost lost her mind over the pair, while Scarlet giggled as a pup gently nibbled her fingertips.

"A present?" Vix sounded dismayed. "Those creatures?"

"They're dogs," I said wryly. "Calm down. What do you think of them, Setanta?"

His cheeks were flushed. "They're beautiful."

"You can help me choose their names if you like."

He looked pleased. "Mother, may I have a dog?"

Fiadh made an oddly strangled sound in her throat. "Perhaps someday, when you're older."

"Maybe you'll have one of their puppies." A part of me felt uncomfortable about letting dogs breed, but if these were so rare, then perhaps we had to let nature take its course.

"Oh, no," Fiadh said hurriedly. "You don't understand, Cara. These dogs will be extremely valuable. You won't need to give them away."

"If Setanta wants one, he can have one," I insisted. "If you don't want to be responsible for it, we can take care of it with these two." I reached out and brushed my hand across the black pup's back. "They're still babies. We're talking about extremely hypothetical puppies here." I looked up at her and smiled, but her face had whitened. "Are you okay?"

She turned away to wipe her eyes. I was confused. What had I said?

"I am most grateful," Fiadh said after a moment. "You honour us with just the suggestion."

I turned my attention back to Scarlet and Setanta. They were both delighted with the pups. "He really likes the black one," I said thoughtfully. "Maybe he should—"

"No!" Fiadh touched my shoulder. "You cannot give away a gift. It would be an insult."

But I still wondered what Drake was thinking. Surely he hated me by now, so why was he offering soldiers? Perhaps it was a trick. I couldn't tell which version of Drake had sent that message.

Later that evening, Rafe had already arranged a place in the stables for the dogs, but somehow, they both ended up eating meat from my fingers under the dinner table, much to the fascination of everyone present. And that night, the pups slept on either side of Scarlet on my bed. I sighed as I watched them. Maybe they would protect her if I kept them close. They were sweet pups. It was a good gift.

A sound at the window caught my attention. A crow had landed on the sill, and it stared at me.

"It watches," Orlaith said.

The bird flew into the room and perched on the headboard.

"There's no scroll," I said.

"It's not a messenger," Orlaith said. "They say that Badb was followed by crows. They were a sign on the battlefield."

"A sign of what?"

"Death for her enemies and victory for Badb."

"Maybe there's a nest in the ruined tower." I looked at the bird. "Crows are smart. I read that they have good memories."

"They do," Orlaith said. "They have been here and watched us and passed on the stories to their young. They have seen it all, but they cannot speak to tell the rest of us about it. Some call it their curse."

I shivered at the idea of crows passing myths on to other crows. But it wasn't exactly weird compared to most of the things I had seen and heard in the faery realm.

I got into bed next to Scarlet. The black pup looked at me, laid its head on my stomach, and sighed heavily. I fell asleep dreaming of giant dogs and a crow that spoke to me in a woman's voice. I couldn't hear the words, but as I woke, the sentence "You're not ready yet" refused to leave my head.

Chapter Five

"A horse!" somebody shouted from outside before dawn broke.

Waking suddenly, I climbed out of bed and went to the window. On the track leading to the castle gates, a couple of fae held up torches, providing enough light for me to spot Dubh trotting toward the castle with Conn on his back. I couldn't see past Conn's broad shoulders to tell if a short Miacha woman accompanied him. But at least Conn and Dubh had returned safely. I squeezed my eyes shut, dizzy with relief. Every day that had passed without Conn's return had increased my guilt and reinforced the point that I was completely responsible for every single Darksider.

I quickly dressed myself and Scarlet, ignoring Rat's offers to help. The pups lay sprawled across the doorway until I opened the door. They sprinted outside, only to get tangled up in Rumble's legs. I tried not to laugh as he extricated himself.

"Conn is back," I said. "Let's go see what he brings."

Rumble nodded and escorted me downstairs to where Vix was waiting. She shot a look of disgust at the dogs. I brushed past her and hurried outside with Scarlet in my arms and the dogs at my heels. The animals ran off as soon as we left the castle, but I was more interested in Conn. He had already ridden through the gates, past the waiting soldiers, and when he saw me, he pulled up close. He jumped off Dubh, his massive black wings kicking up dust and dirt. A short woman with wrinkled skin the colour of ripe hazelnuts nimbly leapt off before Conn could help her down.

"You're okay," I said, seeing no obvious injuries.

Conn gave me a puzzled look then nodded.

Grey Eyes, one of the Miacha healers, greeted me warmly and cooed at Scarlet in my arms. "I brought some gifts. I had already planned on coming here soon."

I rubbed Dubh's nose. He snuffled and nibbled at my fingers as soon as I wasn't paying attention. When he saw the curious pups approach, he snorted loudly and stamped his feet. The male pup ran, but the female crept closer, growling.

"Sorry, faery horse. You're not the cutest animal in the realm anymore."

"We passed a carriage bearing the colours of the Green Court along the way," Conn said, catching my attention again. "They should arrive today."

"Probably an emissary in answer to our invitation. How was the ride?"

"Disturbing," he replied. "The land changes on a daily basis now."

"That's partly why I wanted to come," Grey Eyes said. "Our home is dying. If we don't find a way to stop it, we'll have nothing left."

"We should go inside," I said, feeling sick to my stomach. "You can tell us what you know after you have something to eat."

As we stepped into the main hallway, Fiadh came running toward us. She stopped short, looking anxious and excited all at once. "You're back," she said, her eyes only on Conn.

He just stared back at her, and I felt uncomfortable. I guided Grey Eyes toward the kitchen to let Fiadh and Conn have their moment alone.

"Desperation isn't pretty," Vix said as she caught up to Rumble.

"Whatever you say," I murmured, dropping a kiss on my daughter's head.

Cook gave me a dirty look when we stepped inside the kitchen. "And what have I said about dogs?"

"Something about feeding them scraps," I teased, helping myself to a scone.

I sat with Grey Eyes as she checked over Scarlet. "She seems well. Growing fast. No taint." She sighed. "Unlike the rest of the realm."

"What's happening out there?"

"Darkness," she said in a glum voice. "And it's spreading."

"We'll do what we can to stop it. Have you brought"—I lowered my voice—"the weapon?"

She nodded, but her eyes darted from side to side. "It's with me. But it won't help much, I fear."

"You never know. Can you take a look at some people?"

"Of course."

I led her upstairs to the tower, leaving Scarlet with Vix and Rat. Rumble stayed with me.

"Sadler was using them to prolong his life, give him strength," I explained as I walked. "I thought... I don't know. I thought they would be free when I... when Sadler died. But the midwife says they're dying."

"How did he manage this?"

"Some kind of dark magic, I'm told." I shrugged. "The men responsible are dead. We may never know."

"Both dead," she said softly. "And how are you?"

"I'm fine. I saw Zoe. She seems to be coping."

"You sent her away from the faery realm in time." She patted my arm. "She was lucky to have you. Most humans are hidden away when they start to lose their minds."

"Forgotten about."

She glanced at me. "Not all fae are the same."

I nodded then opened the door to the tower room. Grey Eyes walked around the room, rubbing her arms as if cold.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think... we have a lot of work to do, but it could still be too late." She knelt by a young man and touched his cheek. "This is unlike anything I've seen before." She got the attention of one of the attendants. "Do their bodies function normally?"

Grey Eyes spent an hour in the room, looking less confident with every moment that passed. "I need the help of my sisters."

"Invite them then," I said.

"I cannot. Nothing grows here. We need our garden. But..." She tapped her chin. "We could take them in. They won't fit in our home, but with your help, we could set up a sort of camp. They need cleaner air, away from the concentration of taint that lingers here. I can taste it in the air. No good will come of them staying here."

"I'll ask Rafe to figure something out," I promised. "We'll pay you and give you anything that you need. The attendants can go with you."

"I will return. I want to keep an eye on the children." She pulled me outside then, lowering her voice to speak. "We both know my medicine can only do so much for the children here, don't we?"

I nodded, trying to keep my expression blank.

"It's Scarlet," she said. "She's descended from the leanan sídhe, with noble blood from both sides, so it's only natural she should have some form of magic. But I can't tell if she's a kind of conduit that's increasing the influence of the medicine, or... something else."

"Something else?"

"You must have noticed. You have to have seen how much better people feel around her. She's a kind of tonic to everyone around her. Setanta thrives in her presence."

"Please don't tell anyone. They'll think she's some kind of miracle cure. She's just a child."

"You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me or my sisters." She patted my hand reassuringly. "But if you want those children to heal, then they must spend as much time with Scarlet as possible."

"What if taking away so much of the taint hurts her? And how is it even possible for her to heal people this way?"

"She's not hurt. We would have seen signs of it already. As for why and how, perhaps what they say is true, and you were blessed by a deity. All I know is that she arrived when we needed her." Her smile was warm. "As did you."

"If we find a way to end this blight, will people recover naturally?"

"Not completely, but they'll certainly improve."

"Then that's what I'll do," I said determinedly.

She went back into the room and looked over her shoulder. "I don't doubt it."

I made arrangements with Rafe, who thrived when he was in control of logistics. Over a meal, he had an enthusiastic discussion with Grey Eyes and Thistle, and I was pretty sure everything would run smoothly with their involvement.

Later that morning, the carriage that Conn had spoken of arrived. With a sigh, I sat in my makeshift throne and waited to greet the emissary. I had to treat Brendan's emissary as well as I had Drake's. But all notions of equality flew out of my mind when I saw who walked through the door.

"Grim!" I jumped off my seat and rushed to meet the grey-toned brownie who had always been wise and loyal when it came to me. A golden light flew around my head before finally getting tangled up in my hair—it was my sprite friend Realtín. I hugged Grim and held the sprite close to my heart until I realised half the court was staring.

"Come on," I said. "We'll go somewhere more private and talk."

I organised a meeting in the new study, away from prying eyes. I took Scarlet and the pups and told Fiadh to have Conn and Grey Eyes join us as soon as the woman had finished checking up on Setanta.

"Rumble, wait outside the door with Vix for a bit, okay?"

He guarded the door, and I finally got a moment alone with my first faery friends.

I embraced them a second time. "I didn't think I would see you again."

"We always come back to each other," Realtín scoffed as she darted around the room.

I grinned, feeling more like my old self than I had in ages. When I first met the sprite and brownie, I had been a naïve college student who thought the world held nothing for her. They had been loyal to me even when I didn't deserve it. "Sit. Relax. They'll send food for you soon. I just wanted you for myself first."

I laid Scarlet on the floor next to her toys. The pups rolled on the rug next to her, having a playful battle amongst themselves.

"The Darkside hasn't changed her," Grim said, looking fondly at my daughter.

"She's always happy. It's like she doesn't even feel it. The darkness, I mean."

"Can you still?"

I rubbed my arm. I felt the presence of the darkness at all times, but it had become familiar. It didn't hurt me anymore. "I'm aware of it."

He studied me while Realtín sat on the black pup's back. It struggled to dislodge the sprite until the white bitch attempted to take a bite of her wings, and Realtín flew up in the air and almost collided with the ceiling.

"Stupid creature! Where did you get these dirty things?" She dropped onto the white pup's head, rubbed her cheek against the fur, and giggled. "What are their names?"

"No names yet, and they're a present from Drake—well, the Silver Court, I suppose. They're supposed to be cú sídhe."

"Brendan won't be pleased," Realtín said with a snort. "He only sent you wine."

"It's good wine," Grim said, unable to hide his smile. "Drake's gift was too extravagant."

"Who cares about presents?" I said. "How have you two been?"

A look passed between them that I couldn't quite decipher. "We are well," Grim said.

"And?"

"We heard what happened from Anya," Grim said at last. "Brendan hasn't spoken of it much."

"He's so angry at me. I thought he understood, but he must have been brooding over it. I wasn't trying to harm him. I swear."

"I know," Grim said. "I'm sure he's more worried about Drake than you—even more so when he hears of this gift."

That left me confused. "Why would that worry him?"

He frowned. "It will always be two against one when three are involved. You and Drake have a relationship through Scarlet. Brendan is right to be concerned."

"Drake's married to Sorcha," I said scornfully.

"All of the courts know where his heart lies," Grim said softly.

"That's ridiculous. He sent me away, and he didn't claim Scarlet until he wanted to steal the Darkside. I did what I did to stop him from having power over Brendan. Why would he feel warmly toward me now?"

"He's still the child's father," Grim continued. "And you have a history of... making certain choices regarding Drake."

That stung. "I haven't done anything to hurt Brendan."

"And Drake hasn't made any suggestions?"

"No! I haven't even seen him. I mean..." I hesitated. "There was one time on the journey to see Sadler. He said something about having the power to do what he liked."

"Which would involve you?"

I shivered, feeling uncomfortable. "I don't know what you're asking, Grim."

"Should I be concerned that I'm on the wrong side?"

My mouth fell open. "When did it come to that?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out. I'm worried about all of you. What happened shouldn't have happened. Dealing with Sadler wasn't your responsibility."

"Then what should have happened?" I said coldly. "What should I have done?"

"The point is that you shouldn't have had to do anything. None of this has transpired in the way it was supposed to. I'm worried about the motives of those around you, Brendan, and Drake. Too many plans have gone off track. Be wary, Cara. Not everything is as it seems."

I choked out a laugh. "This is the faery realm. Nothing is ever as it seems. So, Green Court emissary, tell me why you're here, and I'll feed and water you and send you on your way."

"That's unfair," Realtín said. "You know Grim loves you."

"How many times have I been told the fae don't love?"

Grim bowed his head. "The king accepts the invitation to your ceremony. He will bring his favoured subjects as his guests, as you requested."

"Great. Fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me—"

"I'm here as a friend," Grim said. "My job is secondary."

"Is it?" I looked at him, upset. "Are you really here to be my friend, or is it on behalf of your king? Because you sound like—"

"Please, stop this!" Grim's shoulders drooped. "You're all so paranoid. I have no idea what happened on the trip—I wasn't there—but I will not be a part of the delusions of you or either king. I am a free faery. Don't drag me into this and expect me to take sides."

I sank into my chair, feeling sullen.

"We are still your friends," Grim said. "We always will be."

My throat tightened. "I know. Maybe I'm just... worried I did the wrong thing. But I felt as though I didn't have a choice. Drake was offering Sadler an escape and would have taken two-thirds of the realm. Brendan would have been... I just didn't want any of that to happen. I thought taking the Darkside myself would protect Scarlet and stop Drake and Brendan from getting into some kind of war."

"I have no reason to disbelieve you. You've always done what you thought was best. What are your plans?"

"Survival. That's it. That's all I have."

"Are you aware of the state of the land?"

"I've heard a lot of bad news. We need to find a way to stop the blight before it's too late. I really need to talk to Brendan and Drake. Between the three of us, we should be able to find a way to beat this."

"Agreed," Grim said. "And if we may, we'd like to remain here until the ceremony."

"You're always welcome here," I said hesitantly. "But why are you eager to do it now?"

"If we take a look around your territory, we might be able to figure out why this darkness moves as it does. Some parts of the land become ravaged much more quickly than others. I would like to find answers."

"Fair enough. I thought Sadler was responsible for the spread, but he's gone, and parts of the realm are being destroyed still. I'd like to find out answers, too. But wait—have your lore masters found any more writings about the time a god decided to destroy the realm? I mean, we could use all the information we can get."

Grim looked uncomfortable. "We have been... promised a look at more complete literature."

"What's the delay?"

He avoided my eyes. "There've been some issues with the negotiations. Brendan's made counteroffers that have been politely declined."

"I take it this literature is in the hands of someone who doesn't swear fealty to the Green Court."

"Or any other." He still looked tense.

Before I could needle him for answers, a servant interrupted us with food for him and Realtín.

The sprite squealed enthusiastically. "I'm half-starved."

I grinned as her light flashed with gold happiness. "Go stuff yourself then."

While they ate, I played on the floor with Scarlet. She hadn't displayed any obvious magic since our return to court, but that didn't mean she wasn't using it. There was no way to know how much power she was even capable of wielding.

Fiadh and Setanta arrived with Conn and Grey Eyes. I invited Rumble and Vix inside, too. My list of trustworthy fae was growing on a daily basis.

"Should I fetch the other advisers?" Rumble asked.

I shook my head. "Let's see how this goes first."

"Setanta has improved since I last saw him," Grey Eyes said.

I looked over at Setanta, who had taken my place next to Scarlet. "It'll be good for him to have Eithne for a visit, too. Do you think being back on the Darkside might slow down his healing?"

"There's no sign of that yet, but things can change. I'm more concerned about the state of the Great Forest."

Grim nodded. "It's not just the forest. We've heard reports of disasters all over. Crops have failed, water supplies are being poisoned, and tribes have had to move out of their homes. The spread has grown frighteningly quick, and it almost reaches the castles of both the other courts."

"Everyone says the Great Forest is the heart of the realm. If it dies, there's no going back," I said.

"Time is against us," Conn said. "It's true that the spread is quickening. It's aggressive."

"It could have to do with us entering the Fade to retrieve Brendan," I said, thinking hard. "But that doesn't explain the sudden surge."

"I've seen something like this before," Fiadh said. "Back in the beginning, on the lands that Sadler coveted. We wondered if he was using some kind of magic because the blight always went where he wanted it to go. The spread would be sudden and aggressive like this, and then it would go no farther, as if whatever was feeding it had died."

"But Sadler's dead."

"His god isn't," Vix said. "Sadler was a pawn. There used to be rumours in the castle about a geis on him that caused the darkness."

"A geis?" I asked. "Why does that sound familiar?"

"It's like a curse," Grim said. "An obligation to do something—or not do something, as the case may be. His dealings with this god could have provoked some kind of geis that forced him to destroy the land or prevented him from stopping the spread for long."

"What?" My cheeks grew hot. "Are you telling me Sadler was a hero now? That the spread is happening because he isn't here to stop it?"

Grim raised his hands. "We're discussing possibilities. That's all. Nobody's calling Sadler a hero or anything of the sort."

"But what if it's true?" Vix said. "What if he really did hold back the blight?"

"Sadler's dead," I said. "There's nothing we can do about him."

"But he might not be the only pawn," Rumble said.

I clutched the arms of my chair, trying to hold in my panic. "We've no way of knowing who the pawns are unless they make it obvious. But the big question is this: is there a way to seal the rift in the Fade to at least slow down the blight?"

"I have no idea," Grim said.

"Nor do I," Fiadh said. "Only a very old and powerful fae would know the answers to such questions."

"And Brendan's already made inquiries from most of the obvious choices," Grim said.

"Even the hedge-witch doesn't know," Realtín said scornfully. "And according to her, she knows more than any of us about everything."

"I've met old and powerful beings," I said, thinking hard. "The Watcher guarded the way between the Black Marshes and the Hauntings. He said he was neither human nor fae, but he's safeguarding a path that leads to the Fade. If he's linked to the Fade, then maybe he knows more than we do."

"You would cross the Black Marshes again?" Realtín asked in disbelief.

"The Watcher took us another way that led into a forest beyond the marshlands. If we could find it again, we could reach the Watcher."

"You can't leave," Fiadh said. "There's just no way. You haven't even taken part in the official ceremony yet. It's too risky."

Would I always be so closely tied to the Chaos Court? "That doesn't mean we can't make plans. We need to work together with the other courts to stop this plague on the land before it's too late. There might be another way."

"The First Tree," Grey Eyes said. "If it still exists."

That tree had been the source of the weapon I'd used to kill Deorad. "The First Tree can cleanse the darkness. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but it's a possibility. And if anyone knows where to find this tree, it's the Guardian of the Forest. I mean, he's practically a tree himself."

"Nobody has seen this guardian in a long time," Fiadh said.

"I saw him," I said. "He traded me directions for one of Brighid's flowers."

"Well, it would be a start." Fiadh gave me a pointed look. "We just need to get through the ceremony first."

"How can you be so sure it will even work?" Vix asked.

"It works," Rumble said.

I nodded at the Miacha. "Do you have the weapon on you?"

Grey Eyes looked at the others before nodding.

"Let's show them what it does."

She handed me the small wooden stick, whose pointy end had sunk into Deorad's flesh. Even holding the weapon caused a magical reaction. I squeezed the object then held it out for everyone to see. It absorbed the taint from my hand, the blackness swirling along the wood until it disappeared.

And from the corner, Setanta watched a bland little stick do the same thing to me that Scarlet did to him. He caught my eye and nodded, and I knew he would keep Scarlet's secret for a little while longer.

***

My bedroom was getting crowded. Grim and Realtín refused to stay anywhere else, and I was glad to have them close, even if I suspected they thought ill of me because of Sadler. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept alone, and I was sure I would start thinking about all of the future's terrifying possibilities if I did.

When the others had fallen asleep, Grim and Realtín sat on my bed and spoke with me into the early hours of the morning—unofficial gossip like the kind we used to indulge in so long ago.

"Brendan came back in shock," Realtín said gleefully. "You messed up everyone's plans, Cara. He never expected you to kill Sadler."

"I didn't either, to be honest. I thought they would kill me on the spot. But the closer we got to the castle, the more sure I was that I had to do something."

"Anya said they called you Queen Badb," Grim said.

"They still do sometimes. And crows are always around the place." I didn't mention that I had been feeding them.

"Where's Bekind hiding?" Realtín asked. "Didn't she come here with you?"

"Oh, she's somewhere." I waved a hand, unconcerned. Bekind roamed like a real cat. "Probably avoiding the dogs. How is Anya?"

"Upset," Grim said. "She's coming to the ceremony even if the rest of us won't. Brendan refused to allow her to come with us, and she's in a rage because of it."

"Stupid pixie," Realtín said, but there was an affectionate tone to her words. "She doesn't see he's doing it for Arlen. Our king is a secret matchmaker these days."

"I'm sorry I left her behind," I admitted. "Scarlet misses her. I've missed... everyone who isn't here."

"Did you really threaten Drake's life?" Realtín pinched the backs of my hands. "Some believe Brendan made that up to look less... pathetic."

I covered my burning cheeks with my hands. "I did, but you should have heard him. All that time he was talking about killing Sadler and all of the Darksiders, and then he offered to let him live in exchange for his crown. Sadler was delighted with himself, thinking he could advise Drake from the sidelines. I couldn't stand the idea of it."

"Or the idea of Drake being more powerful than Brendan," Realtín said, bursting into a fit of giggles.

"That, too, smartarse," I said.

"Brendan has always been worried about your preference for Drake," she said, snorting. "But Brendan's too stupid to see the truth: you love him."

"Oh, grow up!"

She cackled. "Some of us have long memories. I remember how worried you were about Brendan during the Provings. I remember how you gave him strength." She pursed her lips and made kissing sounds.

"Grim, lock her away before I banish her from the Darkside."

He smiled while she stretched out on the bed, her light shining a honey-coloured gold, a shade I hadn't seen her use before. "Not even you would try to convince me that you went into the afterlife for a man you don't love," she said.

I flicked her to the end of the bed. That just made her laugh harder.

"You don't get to torment me, shithead sprite," I said. "You weren't there. You didn't see Sadler's face or hear Drake's voice. It just didn't seem fair. Brendan was supposed to be the king, and then the half-human solitary fae who never had anything suddenly took the majority of the land from him? I didn't trust Drake. I think his people have been lying about a lot of things."

"That doesn't mean they do it on Drake's behalf," Grim said.

"Well, they're all suffering for it now," Realtín remarked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Realtín sat up. "You haven't heard?" She frowned at Grim. "You haven't told her?"

"Told me what? Grim?"

"She just means it weakened their positions." Grim sighed. "When Drake and Sorcha returned, Donella had almost ousted them from their thrones already. Many of their court members are more loyal to Nella than their own king. The banshees are unhappy, and there is no sign of an heir. Drake's failure embarrassed the Silver Court, and the rumours about you have only made it worse."

"Ugh. I don't know how Donella and I can be related. Did he finally kick out Donella or what?"

"She's merely out of favour," Grim said.

"Drake's too chicken to send the leanan sídhe away in case she takes half his subjects with her," Realtín said, her tone turning nasty. "His only hope now is a baby."

I swallowed hard. If Drake had another child, he'd never care about being a father to Scarlet. And the mirror had shown death in childbirth for his wife. "Wait. Why is Brendan suffering now?"

Grim hesitated. "Before his death, the lineage consultant made arrangements for potential brides to visit Brendan. One family in particular is newly risen and has put pressure on Brendan. They'll offer loyalty and soldiers upon a marriage, but if there is none, they have made it clear they will turn to his rival instead."

Grim's earlier uneasiness made sense now. "That's who has the old books we need, isn't it?"

Grim looked apologetic. "I didn't want to tell you in case it came to nothing."

"I'm a big girl, Grim. I can handle it when grownups do grownup things. Is that it? Brendan's people want him to marry into this family?" I refused to ask what Brendan wanted to do—not after Realtín's teasing.

"They want him to be strong," Grim said. "The Green Court as a whole is unhappy and scared by the spread of the Darkside. They fear you will claim them as your own, or worse, that you will side with the Silver Court and push Brendan out of power."

"I wouldn't do that," I said. "That's not what I want."

"You are an enigma to them. They can't understand how this happened. 'She must be ambitious,' they say, 'to have gained so much in so little time.'"

"That was pretty much Brendan's line the last time I saw him," I said wryly. "Does everyone forget that I was kidnapped and forced into a marriage I didn't want? How can that be considered ambitious?"

"When they worry, the fae have short memories. They forget what you have done for the realm. They forget you returned their king to them, while others remember that they blame you for Drake's presence in the first place. There were altercations between the two courts on the journey home."

"Drake's soldiers are too arrogant," Realtín said with a yawn. "And Brendan's soldiers felt hard done by. So, they kicked up a fuss on the way."

Worry darkened Grim's expression. "So you see, we are a realm divided in every sense of the word."

"The way the Darkside is spreading and the chance that the dead army will come back are pretty big issues," I said. "Why are they worried about politics?"

"The system of rule is built on politics," he said.

Bored, Realtín settled on my shoulder and began to doze off.

"Then the kings aren't friendly with each other or me right now," I said slowly. "Yet they're both coming to my ceremony."

"As an emissary, I would reassure you, but as a friend, my advice is to surround yourself with soldiers on that day," Grim said. "Brendan and Drake's issues could spill out into your court."

"And get my people hurt," I said fiercely.

Grim smiled. "Your people. Are you happy here?"

"It's the first place I've ever felt like I had a chance at belonging in." I made a face. "Half of the people hate my guts right now, but I can't imagine going home after experiencing all of this. I just can't."

"And now you're a queen in your own right. You have the power to make important decisions that affect your personal life. How does that change things between you and Drake?"

"I never had Drake," I said softly. "He was never mine, and now he belongs to someone else. I'm not going to be anyone's second choice." And a lump formed in my throat as I remembered Brendan saying those exact same words to me. "So," I said as brightly as I could manage, "what do you reckon my chances are of getting the kings to work together?"

Grim smiled. "If anyone can do it, it will be you."

Chapter Six

Líle arrived looking as though she had just wandered through a swamp. I was in the meeting room when she was shown in, dishevelled and exhausted.

"All we need now is for Anya to show up," I joked as I hugged her in welcome. "You're late, by the way. I thought you weren't coming."

"I chose a bad path." She shrugged off her muddy cloak and dumped it on the floor. "A landslide made the way impossible."

"A landslide? Is that normal?"

"No." She sank into a chair. "It's not a good sign, Cara."

I asked Rumble to send for food and Grim.

Líle yawned and ran her hands through her hair. "I'm exhausted. I walked for miles out of my way to see the extent of the damage. It's too close for comfort."

"Grim wants to check out the surrounding lands to see what's going on. Maybe you could direct him to the landslide?"

"I'll do better than that. I'll take him myself."

I plopped into the seat next to her. "Well, rest up first."

"Where's Scarlet?" she asked.

"Asleep. Don't worry. She's with Vix and Rat and Orlaith. And the dogs."

"Well, I don't trust Vix, and I don't know the others."

"Orlaith was one of Reynard's old soldiers."

She snorted. "Yet another I don't trust."

"She switched sides for me."

"That doesn't mean I trust her. Wait—what dogs?"

"Drake sent me a pair of cú sídhe."

"He did not."

"They're just pups." I shrugged. "I didn't know it was that big of a deal."

"What did Brendan send?"

"Wine, I think."

"Uh-oh. He's going to freak out."

I laughed. "He's not that childish."

"You don't understand. It's a sign of how close the courts are. Drake's gift makes a kind of claim on you."

I rubbed my arms, uncomfortable. I didn't need to be claimed by anyone. The door opened, and Rumble returned. Bekind slipped inside on all fours.

"There you are," I said. "Did you get lost or something?"

Her meow sounded slightly snarky.

The food arrived, and Grim and Realtín showed up shortly afterward. The dogs ran into the room with them. Bekind let out an inhuman yowl and leapt onto my shoulder. The dogs sniffed at the chair in curiosity. In her panic, Bekind shifted into her human form, kneeing me in the face in the process.

Realtín's giggles filled the air.

"Oh, ew," I said, getting away from Bekind.

"It was an accident," she exclaimed. Líle rolled her eyes and threw her muddy cloak at Bekind then moved to the table to join Grim so they could eat together.

I ushered the now-whining pups away from the chair until Bekind slid into the seat, her legs gathered to her chest and the cloak wrapped around her.

"You had to get them," she said, breathing heavily. "Two of them."

"They were a gift," I protested.

"A gift who'll forever try to eat me. Do you know how painful that is when you're immortal?"

I sat next to her. "I'm not going to let them eat you, Bek."

"They'll grow. They won't be cute forever. And you can't boss around a cú sidhe. They're going to be like two Dubhs except more vicious."

Realtín perched on the black pup's back. "Oh, yes. So very scary."

I exchanged a weary glance with Líle.

"We don't mix," Bekind said.

"Yeah, well, maybe it'll be worth it to have them around if it means I get to talk to you on occasion. What's going on with you?"

Bekind snorted, keeping her wary gaze on the pups, who seemed to have forgotten about her. "I spy with my little cat eye."

"You don't have to spy anymore," I said.

"If you believe a queen doesn't need spies, then you're even more ridiculous than you sound."

"You should have spies," Grim said, looking up from his meal.

I shrank back into my seat. "Why can't things be easy?"

"Nothing worth having is easy," Líle said with her mouth full. "Your grandfather is amusing, by the way. He told me all sorts of embarrassing stories about your childhood. You were a very odd child. Are all human children so strange?"

"Yes, we're all oddballs." I released a heavy sigh. "Okay, then. Tell me why I need spies in my own home."

"It's not your home," Bekind scoffed. "It's your job. And the person in charge can't please everyone, especially when it comes to these kinds of people."

"These kinds? That's a bit judgy."

"It's not a judgement—it's a statement of fact. The people here are steeped in tradition. Brendan may have a somewhat modern way of thinking, but most of the upper echelon does not. And when you please one person, you stand a good chance of making another an enemy for life."

"Great," I said. "I'm filled with confidence. And I'm supposed to do what—maintain a mediocre level of happiness amongst the entire court by following outdated rules?"

"If you want to play it safe." She grinned. "But when have you ever done that?"

"At least try to play it safe," Grim said plaintively.

"Who have I pissed off so far? Besides Brendan."

Grim choked on his food. "I wouldn't call him pissed off, as such."

Realtín giggled loudly. "He destroyed his bedroom when he returned. Refused to attend court for three days until Arlen told him to snap out of it."

"Arlen said that?" I blew out a whistle. "What happened then?"

"Enough gossiping," Bekind said crossly. "We were discussing something important here."

"Were we?" I sighed again at the glare on her face. "Fine. Who have I insulted then?"

"Supporters of Fiadh's husband, for one."

"They left with him, I thought. Glic was gone before I even arrived."

"Not all of them left. Rafe has been an annoyance. Nobody's even heard of his family." She screwed up her nose. "I don't think he even has a family. Marron's a child of Deorad, for heaven's sake. Levin's ugly enough to give children nightmares, and have you heard that horrific sound he calls a laugh? In human terms, Thistle's basically a big hippie and—"

I couldn't stop the giggle that erupted from my throat.

Bekind waggled a finger. "You're listening to the cooks and gardeners before the old-bloods. The class system is being systematically destroyed. You're driving the nobles insane."

"Oh, who cares?"

"You should care," Grim said. "They're the problem in any court. But they're influential and powerful. You'll need them as allies if you want to succeed."

"They need my favour, too," I protested.

"The ceremony hasn't happened yet." Líle sounded serious. "There's time for it all to go wrong. You'll be regent, Cara. That'll last as long as they don't believe somebody else can control Scarlet's interests in your place."

"I'm her mother."

"And you betrayed both kings," she said softly. "How the kings behave at the ceremony will be telling, and all will be watching. If it becomes apparent that you've lost your strongest allies, then all may be lost."

"They should be worrying about finding out how to stop this blight before they write me off completely."

"They let you worry about that," Grim said. "And rightly so. How many of them would have the power or inclination to track down ancient stories that tell us how to put a god back to sleep?"

"Yes, he only sleeps," Líle said in a voice that wasn't quite her own. "There was no willing vessel to do otherwise."

We all stared at her until she dropped her fork.

"I... I misspoke," she said at last. "Some remnant of a memory that doesn't belong to me."

"Then you know," Bekind said. "You can tell us more."

"No, no." Líle recoiled in horror. "It was just a flash. I can't..."

"It's okay," I said gently.

Travelling through the Hauntings to reach the Fade had left its mark on Líle. The Hauntings were full of the memories of the shades who protected the Fade. Another fae's memories had attached themselves to Líle, leaving her broken and demented. I didn't want to ruin her recovery by digging into them.

Bekind cleared her throat. "Well... Cara, there are murmurings that the blight is your fault."

"It started before I got here."

"Unless you expanded the rift while saving Brendan's soul from the Fade." Realtín stuck out her tongue when she saw my expression. "I'm just giving you their likely arguments."

"They'll conveniently forget that Sadler brought them poverty," Grim said. "Be wary."

"I'm always wary," I said. "That's my default state of mind."

"They expect you to marry a faery," Bekind said. "And perhaps that would solve some of these issues." She shrugged. "If it's the right faery, anyway."

I felt sick. "I'm not getting married. Not now, not ever. This court will never have a king as long as I'm around."

"Oh, just marry Brendan and be done with it," Realtín screeched.

Everyone in the room looked directly at me, so I turned to Grim.

"Anyway, you're here because there's been a landslide, which will also probably be blamed on me. You said you wanted to see the state of the land, and Líle's offered to take you. I'll send one of my advisers with you, just in case." But I desperately needed to change the subject. Taking power was one thing, keeping it quite another.

***

Conventions at court were far more relaxed than before, and most of the fae soon grew used to it. I noticed the occasional dirty look, but I could give a pretty good death stare of my own. Bekind continued spying, but I was starting to think I needed quite a few more spies than a solitary cat.

The Darksiders were becoming accustomed to the idea of sitting at a table and discussing their problems. Anyone with an issue sat directly across from me. Fiadh often sat with us, but she only interfered if I asked her opinion. Setanta and Scarlet played close by, carefully watched over by Vix, Conn, and Rat.

Realtín had decided to remain behind when Grim and Líle took the lay of the land. The little sprite was more of a distraction than anything else, but I liked having her around. Rumble was always near me, while Orlaith paced casually, maintaining an observant eye on the entire room. I was starting to feel safe. Which of course meant I wasn't safe at all.

My morning routine consisted of going for a run or a ride on Dubh then back to have breakfast with Scarlet well before court started for the day. Some of the courtiers muttered complaints about me having the audacity to take care of my own child like a commoner, but if that was their worst complaint, I was happy.

The morning Grim and Líle left was the same day Grey Eyes took the sick, unconscious fae back to her home with her. I rode out with the procession for a while before turning back. Rumble was by my side, and a dozen black-armoured soldiers had accompanied us, not including the scout who Rumble always insisted travel ahead whenever we left the castle.

It was a good morning to be outdoors, and I wished I could stay outside all day, but Scarlet and the court were waiting, so we headed back before long.

Close to the castle, right in the centre of the path, lay the body of the scout, right where we couldn't miss her. She wasn't moving, and I immediately jumped off Dubh to go to her.

"Wait," Rumble called out. "It could be—"

"She could be alive," I snapped. "We have to help her."

Rumble and four of the soldiers dismounted to follow me.

I reached the scout. Her throat had been cut. She didn't look as if she'd even put up a fight. Had she known her attacker?

"Now!" a voice in the woods shouted.

An all-too-familiar twang followed. Rumble raised his shield just in time to stop an arrow from hitting me.

"Thanks." I raised my voice. "Everyone into the woods. Before they shoot again." I grabbed my dagger. "You four on foot, stay with me and Rumble. The rest of you split up and try to find that archer!"

"We're going back to the castle," Rumble said.

"No." I grabbed Dubh's reins and ran into the shelter of the trees. "We're going to find whoever killed our scout."

"Warrior queen!" one of the soldiers cried.

The soldiers seemed pretty bolstered by my lead. Whoever had shouted the command hadn't stuck around to attack, so I ordered our three sets of soldiers to hunt their prey. The group with me grew excited, and it was contagious.

"Calm your blood," Rumble muttered under his breath. "They'll become reckless."

I didn't have time to worry about that. We raced through the woods on a track that had recently been used. I was faster than the others and took the lead, much to Rumble's concern. But it was so freeing to take control of a situation for a change that I couldn't slow down.

Soon, we heard the sounds of a group ahead. I slowed and signalled for the others to quieten themselves. I made to take the lead, but Rumble stepped in my way.

"Let us protect you," he said. "If you should receive even the smallest injury, these soldiers will be shamed."

I hesitated, looking at each of them. "If I'm injured, it'll be my fault," I whispered. "But I'll follow." For now, I silently added.

Rumble took over, organising the four soldiers. He moved ahead, and I stayed with the group this time. We came into a clearing where a camp was being hurriedly packed away by seven fae. As my soldiers dove into battle, one of the strangers tried to run. Everyone else was busy fighting for their lives, so I ran after him and tackled him to the ground. He fought back, but I managed to elbow him neatly in the nose and knock a blade out of his hand. It was covered in dried blood.

Gripping his neck, a flash of the scout's body came to me. Enraged, I held my own dagger to the stranger's throat, and he cowered. His quick submission was confusing, but in the heat of battle, I didn't care.

I heard footsteps approach and prepared to strike out when I heard Rumble call my name. "It's over," he said. "They're all dead."

I looked up in surprise. A few minutes beforehand, my soldiers had been struggling. How had the tide of battle shifted so quickly?

The soldiers were all staring at me, maybe wondering why the man beneath me was still alive.

"He's the one who killed her." I glared at him. "You killed one of my people, and now you're going to tell us why."

"I'll make him talk," Rumble said.

I jumped to my feet to get out of the way. Rumble gripped the traitor's neck and lifted him into the air.

"Who sent you?" he bellowed before flinging the man to the ground.

Even my toes curled at the sound of Rumble's voice. I almost pitied our captive.

He advanced on the man again. "Last chance to answer."

"I'd rather die," the captive hissed. He jumped up and ran headfirst into a tree before falling to the ground, unconscious.

I rushed over. The captive's mouth was foaming.

"Don't touch him," Rumble said. "He had something in his cheek."

I looked up at him. "Poison?"

"Suicide to avoid betraying his master," one of the soldiers sneered.

"Any of you recognise these people?" I asked, looking amongst the bodies. Death didn't faze me as much as it once had. As my anger died, my empathy returned. The strangers had been people, too.

"We should get back to the castle in case they had reinforcements," Rumble said. "Donncha will send patrols out today."

"What about Grim and Líle and the Miacha's group?" I asked, suddenly anxious. "They could be attacked, too."

"Donncha will send an escort after them." Rumble glanced at the camp. "But those attackers wanted you, my lady, not the others."

We returned to the horses and found the others, who had picked off any archers they found in the woods. As we rode back to the castle, the soldiers began to sing a cheerful battle song. I couldn't help but get caught up in their happiness at the win.

"You did well," Rumble said. "You have these men's loyalties entirely after today."

"Great. How many more assassination attempts do I have to survive to sway the entire court?"

His low laugh surprised me. "It wasn't the attempt. It was the way you went after those who killed one of your soldiers. You pursued them rightfully, protected your own, and acted like the warrior queen you were professed to be. Sadler didn't fight beside them. I think you impressed them." He hesitated. "But please don't do it again. If you had died, the entire court would have fallen with you."

But even his warning couldn't dampen my spirits. The fae could accept me. I would find a way to make them all accept me.

***

I had just promised an old tribesman sent by Bas and Jackie that I would send medicine for the sick children in his tribe, and circumstances allowed me a brief break. With Rafe organising the crowds, everything ran more smoothly. His presence may have irritated the so-called old-bloods, but I was finding him invaluable. I had watched him the first few days, and he treated everyone equally, no matter how they treated him. That was what I needed.

Then again, I had been feeling upbeat anyway since the assassination attempt. Many of the soldiers had warmed to me in a way they couldn't before. If something did go wrong, I was confident they had my back.

"You should take more breaks," Fiadh warned as I indulged in a long, satisfying stretch.

"I don't want to keep everyone waiting too long," I said, watching the children play with the pups. The animals had already grown noticeably since their arrival, but they were careful around the children and especially gentle with Setanta. I wondered what they sensed in him.

Setanta looked up and caught my eye. "Haven't you named them yet?"

Fiadh froze, as though afraid the child had misspoken.

"Not yet," I said. "I haven't been able to think of any good ones, I'm afraid."

"They do need good names. There's power in a name. Isn't that right, mother?"

Fiadh's face was flushed. "So they say."

"You're right. They deserve worthy names." I nudged Fiadh. "Calm down. Don't make a big deal of it."

She fanned her face. "It's partly because now he talks and partly because he dares talk to a queen as his equal. If people heard..."

"He's a child. What do they expect me to do to him?"

"It's not been long since we had a pair of queens," she said. "Their methods won't be forgotten any easier than Sadler's."

I squeezed her hand and pretended not to see her flinch. "I'm not them."

She met my eyes. "Sometimes, you'll have to be."

"But not today. And definitely not with a child."

"I don't mean to offend," she whispered.

"I'm not offended," I said, irritated.

Setanta frowned at the black pup. "You should give them names from the old stories."

I moved to sit next to the children. "What stories?" I asked as I pinned Scarlet's hair out of her eyes.

He hesitated and looked at his mother for reassurance. Fiadh nodded, and he seemed satisfied enough to continue.

"Mother used to read me old stories. Good stories."

"Do you want the queen to name her dogs for the old heroes?" Fiadh asked.

He reached out and fondled the white pup's ears. "They're a pair. They should have a pair of names like in the stories." His face flushed with his excitement. "Like... Tristram and Iseult. Or maybe Deirdre and Diarmuid."

"They were... humans, right?" I said hesitantly.

"The fae used to watch over humans with more care than we do now," Fiadh explained. "The stories of our legends often involve humans."

"And ours often involve the faery world," I said with a smile. "I was more interested in the faery stories when I was a child, Setanta. So, how did your stories go?"

"Mother, shall I tell her?"

"Perhaps another time," Fiadh demurred.

I laughed. "You have to tell me now."

"I can tell you." Setanta lowered his voice and spoke in a dramatic tone. "Once, there was a beautiful princess named Deirdre. She was betrothed to an old, powerful king who was loved by all. But on her wedding day, she met his most trusted soldier, Diarmuid, and fell in love at first glance. To free herself, she drugged the drink of everyone but Diarmuid, and she beguiled him into running away with her. A feud followed. Family against family. Friend against friend. Nobody could blame true love, some said. Others said that honour and a promise were far more important."

"What happened next?" I asked in spite of myself.

Setanta smiled. He knew he had me. "The king was part fae, and his faery relatives predicted that Diarmuid would eventually die from wounds inflicted by a boar. This king claimed to forgive the pair, and the wars ended. However, the king arranged a boar hunt, and he invited his old friend, Diarmuid. Sure enough, the soldier was badly injured. The king was the only one in the land who could heal his wounds. Deirdre begged him to help, but the king refused once, then twice, and Diarmuid lay dying. Deirdre went to the king a third time, promising him her own life if he would just agree. He took this bargain, but it was too late for Diarmuid—and too late for Deirdre, too."

I swallowed hard. "That sounds sad."

"Love is death," Setanta said as if it were nothing. "This is how we know that love brings death to the fae."

"What about the other story? Is that one any better?"

"Better?" He frowned. "I don't know. Would you like to hear it?" He sounded so doubtful that I had to say yes.

"There was once a beautiful Irish princess called Iseult. She was betrothed to a king from across the sea. The king's nephew, Tristram, arrived to take Iseult to his uncle for marriage. But the journey was long, and Iseult slowly fell in love with Tristram. Tristram was too loyal to his uncle to do anything but his duty, so he took her home and watched in silence as the two people he loved best wed each other."

I grew uneasy. The stories the fae told their children explained a lot.

"Iseult found the king to be a good, kind man, and a different sort of love for him grew in her heart. All three loved each other well, but Tristram and Iseult were soul mates. They couldn't stop loving each other, and even duty and honour faded in the shadows of their love." He met my eyes. "It's known that when soul mates meet, nothing can keep them apart. The king should have sent Tristram away, but he loved him too much."

"Well," I said, "it's hard to send away people you care about."

"This is how we know that love makes fools of even the wisest men, and lovers can never be trusted."

"I don't think—"

"You'll see. They weren't careful or clever enough to hide, and their betrayal was made public, leaving the king brokenhearted. By the laws of his own country, he was forced to punish them with death. But he couldn't bear to part them from each other, or even be parted from them himself. He buried them side by side in the garden so he could see the graves from his window. But even in death, they couldn't be truly separated. Vines grew from each grave and intertwined together for eternity."

Embarrassingly, a lump had formed in my throat. "Also sad. Fiadh, didn't you read him any happier stories?"

She laughed, thinking it a joke. "There are only tragedies. The fae aren't capable of remembering anything else." She shrugged when she caught the look on my face. "The stories are sometimes told to teach morals. Iseult wasted her chance of power and happiness to follow her heart, and it led to her ruin. Deirdre led a good man down a path he never wanted and lost him forever. As Setanta said, to the fae, love is weakness and death." She gave her son a loving look. "And that's why I'm glad I learned another way to live."

"It kind of explains why the fae have trouble trusting me. They've been raised to believe I bring death my way. The stories make it sound like human women cause all of the problems." I was only half joking.

"You're not a human anymore," Fiadh said shortly. "You're one of us, and anyone who says otherwise can easily be silenced."

"Steady on," I said laughingly. "Let's not execute the entire court just yet. Fiadh, can I ask you a question?"

She looked at me with surprise. "Of course. You're the queen."

"Not as a queen. As a person. I want you to answer because you want to, not because you're forced to."

Her smile was gentle. "I know. It's a force of habit to bring everything back to status. It's what we've been doing for generations. What is it you wanted to ask?"

"Bekind said the fae are expecting me to marry. Is she right?"

"You're not new to the ways of the court. All people of your rank are expected to marry, even King Brendan."

"But I have an heir already. And I'm only regent. Why should I be expected to marry anyone?"

She frowned. "Well, it might bring stability, or at least the appearance of it. And a partner from the right family might gain allies you wouldn't otherwise have. Alliances made through marriage and blood are more powerful than those formed through words. Nobody is going to force you to marry, not again, but it would be in your best interest to marry and marry wisely. You have your heir, but you need alliances of your own now, too."

"Who do they expect me to marry?"

She waved a hand. "They all have different expectations depending on their loyalties. If life gets any rougher here, you may need to consider it as a possibility. You can always have him sent away when things settle down."

"And take him out for special occasions?" I folded my arms. "I was already married to a madman. I'm not going there again. And certainly not for the sake of appearances."

"As I said, it's your choice." She gave me a knowing smile. "And I, too, know the problems of a bad marriage."

"At least Glic isn't here."

"But he's likely in my ancestral home. The land may be useless, but it's a point of pride. He took my dignity. I don't wish for even my blackened land to give him shelter."

"You sent people to look for him, didn't you?"

"They haven't returned." She sighed. "When things settle, I'll confront him once and for all."

Rafe led in the next person with an issue for me to deal with, but for the rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about marriage alliances and Setanta's stories. What kind of path was I taking?

Chapter Seven

I rose earlier than usual because of shouting outside my window. I got up to look outside without disturbing the others. In the pale light of dawn breaking, the world outside appeared eerier than usual as though a tint overlaid the land.

When I had first arrived in the Darkside more than two years ago, I had been surprised to see how green it was, how beautiful the untainted parts of the realm could be. Looking out this very same window back then would have given me a spectacular view of a land with so much potential. Now, the landscape was marred by patches of blight. The only bright spark was the Brighid's flower in the gardens, but even that cut a lonely figure amid the despair.

A shiver ran over me as I caught sight of the source of the noise. A group of fae were fighting in the yard, shoving then kicking something I couldn't see.

"Stop that!" I shouted.

The group moved apart at my cry, and I saw a soldier on the ground, bloody and beaten.

"Orlaith, wake up," I urged. "Get Donncha. A soldier is hurt in the yard. Oh, it's all right. He's arrived."

Orlaith joined me at the window. "They're angry. They suspect us all of being traitors."

"Traitors to whom?" I asked.

"To you, to Sadler, to the little princess."

"But the soldiers haven't made a move against me."

She shrugged. "Those idiots out there just wanted to fight. They say they're free fae. They should be able to defend themselves."

"A group against one? Not bloody likely." My blood boiled with a sudden rush of anger. Orlaith backed away in surprise.

I took a deep breath to calm down. "Sorry. Just a reaction. Could you go and make sure that soldier is okay?"

Donncha's men were taking control of the situation, I could see that, but I still felt helpless. And then one of the attackers looked up at me and held my gaze as though he didn't care that I had seen him. His sneer was unsettling, and I had to force myself to remain in the one spot until Donncha dragged him out of view. I let out a breath I had been holding and sagged against the windowsill.

I had to deal with all sorts of fae with different issues. There were old feuds and bad blood, but some fae suffered a kind of bloodlust. I had seen it in Brendan, but it was different here in the Darkside, darker somehow. There had to be a way to cool them down; I just hadn't figured it out yet. And my rushes to anger weren't helping either. Was I influencing the fae and bringing them to violence? Perhaps that was why my soldiers had quickly won what should have been a tough battle in the woods.

Some of the Darksiders had been growing more sullen and mouthy since I'd arrived. Pleasing one group only ever offended another. I had given them freedom, but many of them appeared to suddenly resent me for it. What did they want me to be—another Sadler? Sometimes it felt that way.

I had tried to be kind and fair every day at court, but people constantly wanted more. The more I gave, the more they wanted from me. They were free to voice their opinions, and I was no longer the vulnerable human in their care while a harsh master set the rules. I was the one with the figurative whip, and they plainly resented me for it.

"Do you think I need to look more... queenly?" I asked Rumble after I had gotten ready a little later. "Maybe I look too human?"

There was amusement in Rumble's tone. "It's best you're comfortable."

"Yeah, but do you think people would respect me more if I wore a stupid gown? That's what I'm asking."

"Actions speak louder than... clothing."

I lifted Scarlet to kiss her pudgy cheek. "Hear that, Scarlet? Listen to Rumble when you grow up. He knows his stuff."

"Mocked by a queen," he said, his voice so low that only I could hear him. "My life's purpose, achieved."

I could only grin.

Our procession moved down the stairs and toward the dining hall for breakfast. The attack in the woods had nixed any rides for a while. I supposed it was better I spent more time with the fae anyway.

Rafe had organised the breakfasts in a way that made sure every group of fae got a chance to sit with us. The rotation had been a good idea, but some of the fae looked miserable at the idea of being in the same room as their queen, never mind the same table.

We passed by a group of workers. I smiled at them, but as we walked on, one of them groused loudly about needing more food.

After the morning's fight outside, my hackles immediately rose. I whirled around to face him. He cringed a little, but the others shoved him forward.

"What did you say?" I asked pleasantly enough, giving him a chance to shut the hell up.

"I said, we need more food." He pouted. "We deserve more meals."

I stared at him, exasperated. "Excuse me? You get more food than anyone."

"I've seen your plate," he sneered. "Save the best for your favourites, always."

I tried to force my sudden rise of anger back under the surface. "You were starving before I got here."

"Weren't worked this much, neither."

"If you don't like it, leave," I retorted, handing Scarlet to Rat, who whimpered at my touch. "Try and live off the land if you think you're better off elsewhere. We're getting as much food as we can from the human realm."

"We'd get more if you'd take it like you should."

I took a few steps closer to him, fighting back the urge to touch my dagger's hilt. "You mean steal it? Not going to happen. Humans are not to be interfered with like that."

"You came here and told us we were free fae."

"If you live in this court, you accept our rules," I said sweetly. "That means humans are off-limits, and you have to work for your keep. And maybe try to keep the pathetic complaints to a minimum."

"Told us we were free," he muttered under his breath. "What freedom is this?"

"The kind I'm offering," I said in a dangerously low tone. "Take it or leave it."

"Ceremony hasn't happened yet," he said as I turned away.

This time, I really did grab my dagger, but Rumble was there first, his large hand wrapping around the faery's neck. The other workers backed away in a hurry, knocking each other over to get away from Rumble. Rumble squeezed, and the faery made a retching sound.

"Be careful of the words you speak," Rumble said calmly. "They can't be taken back."

The stench of urine filled the air as the faery's bladder emptied.

"Let him go," I said scornfully.

Rumble let go immediately, and the faery fled. The workers gazed at me, some in awe, some with anger glittering in their eyes. The black veins in my arm itched. And as I walked away from the big-mouthed faery, I wondered if I had been foolish to give them any kind of freedom at all. I strode onward, moving quickly to keep at a distance from Scarlet when I was in such a dark mood.

"You need to calm down," Rumble said under his breath, easily keeping in step with me.

"What now?"

"You're influencing everyone with your anger. You must be calm, or this will end badly."

"Don't you start telling me what to do, Rumble."

"Of course."

"I didn't mean that," I said, frustrated. "I just don't know how to calm it down. Taking over hasn't exactly been without its stresses."

"Then find a way to expend your emotions." He glanced at me for the first time. "Weak-minded fae will be influenced by even the briefest moment of anger from you, and when they swear fealty to their official regent at the ceremony, your influence will grow even stronger."

"I'm not magical."

"You have a power of your own. And you will live by the rules of this world, not the human one. The power of a court can make all the difference. If you don't control your temper before the ceremony, we're all in danger from you."

"I... I'll try," I said. But I needed to figure out how.

***

There had been murmurs of disapproval around the court, but the incident with the worker put an end to the most obvious complaints for a while. I tried my best to stay calm, spending even more time with Scarlet than before, but the black veins kept throbbing as if a bomb were about to go off. It had taken Rumble's observation to make me realise that the bomb might be me.

Líle and Grim returned a couple of days before the ceremony. I had been holding court as usual when they arrived, their faces glum. That was the last thing I needed. Everyone in court was stressed about the preparations for the ceremony, and the entire castle had been turned upside down in the process. I didn't even recognise the gardens. Thistle had arranged a delivery of plants and flowers from the human realm. Instead of planting them in the earth, we kept them in the pots. They brought splashes of colour where there had been none, but even though the flowers hadn't been planted, they were still dying—just more slowly than everything in the ground.

"Come back after lunch," I told the noble sitting before me. "We'll finish this then."

She nodded and left, much to my relief. I had half expected an argument.

"Well?" I said when Grim and Líle sat down.

Realtín perched on Grim's shoulder. Although I had mentioned lunch, which was usually enough to send everyone scrambling to the dining hall, half the court remained to hear what was going on. I had vowed to be open with them, and this was the outcome.

Grim and Líle exchanged glances. "It's not good news," Líle said.

"When is it ever?" I slumped in my seat. "What happened?"

"We examined the landslide, and it appears to have been caused by degeneration of the earth," Grim said. "The soil itself is wet with a black substance, and the layers beneath have weakened over time. There was no preventing it. And more areas will follow with the same outcome sooner or later. But that's not all."

I clutched the arms of my chair, bracing myself.

"A sinkhole appeared less than twenty miles away," Líle said, looking worried. "We investigated the area, trying to find the cause, but it was too dangerous to remain for long. It's spreading. Given enough time, it will eventually swallow the castle."

"How did it happen?"

"Deterioration under the surface perhaps." She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "It's hard to say exactly. But it's this blight that's—"

"It's an omen," somebody shouted from the crowd of people lining the great hall. "The realm is protesting a human queen!"

The faery was shushed by those around him. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples. It wasn't the first time I had heard those words, and I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be the last. While many of the Darksiders were happy to work hard, some seemed intent on driving me crazy.

"You can't keep letting them get away with that," Vix warned from my side.

"I can't be Sadler."

"No, but you have to be a queen."

I looked at her, but she was staring straight ahead. She was right. Half the court was out of control, and the ceremony hadn't even begun yet. With news of the realm literally falling apart around us, I had no idea where to even begin. I was out of my league and probably out of my mind to even think I could manage to lead the Chaos Court in anything.

Donncha surreptitiously led the loud faery away without me needing to say a word. In the meantime, a woman ran up to the table. "I want to go home. I'm sick of this court, and I want to go home."

"You're all free men and women," I said. "I'm not forcing you to stay here."

"Reynard burned my home down to the ground. I've nothing left. I want to rebuild."

"As soon as—"

"You're building this castle back up, and for what? You'll either die, or another will take the throne right from under you. You're just a human. What can you do to stop anyone? I won't stay here to be murdered in the next battle or be swallowed up by the ground. I need supplies to go home, and you're going to give them to me."

"You have a place to stay here. You're not homeless," I said, my anger rising at her tone. "We're restoring the castle so people like you have a place to stay. I don't have to do that. Sadler had you all starving to death in tents, remember? When we're back on our feet, we can work on those who lost their homes, but right now, the spreading of the blight is the only problem we need to worry about."

"A blight you caused," she snapped. "Nobody talked about the realm destroying itself when Sadler was in charge."

"That's because he didn't care enough to check!"

"So you say. This court is poison, and you're the cause of it. We were better off with Sadler."

I rose to my feet. "Better off starving and terrified of being noticed?" My voice had risen, too. "I'm done. Court is over for the day."

"What about me?" the woman spluttered.

I brushed past her, only hesitating to say, "You have your answer. If I were you, I'd be more concerned about pitching in to help this realm than wasting time whining about things we can't change."

When I reached the door, I heard her mutter, "Oh, things can change."

I whirled around to face her again. "Did you have something else to say to me?"

She looked at me but held her tongue. Sullen, she shook her head.

I left the room, my blood boiling all over again. In the hallway, I leaned against the wall and tried to control my breathing. When the door opened, I expected to see Rumble, but it was Vix instead.

"You should have ordered her death," Vix said.

"For speaking her mind?" I sighed wearily. "Go watch over Scarlet."

"Rumble's with her. I needed to speak to you. You must act, Cara. They'll keep pushing until you push back."

"But I don't want to be like Sadler. I don't want them to fear me. I don't want to hurt them."

"Then lead them," she said impatiently. "But do it soon, or you might not make it to the ceremony."

"They need me if they want Scarlet."

"They have Scarlet," she explained as though talking to a child. "She's here. If you die, here she'll remain."

"Líle or Brendan would—"

"Do nothing," Vix hissed. "Líle would die if she tried, and you betrayed Brendan. Why would he help you now? And if you die, who's to stop the next ruler from declaring war on the Green Court? Who's to say it won't be the Silver King? Or worse, a second Reynard? This isn't a game! You're playing with our lives. Those of us who align ourselves with you will die if you go down. You'll drag us all with you. And Scarlet will be friendless, only influenced by those who murdered her mother. Is that what you want?"

"What the fuck, Vix? You brought me here, encouraged me. If you didn't think I was good enough to do this, then why the hell did you help me get here?"

"Because I thought you had the balls to get things done!" she shouted. She held up her hands. "See? You should have me whipped for that!"

"Whipped? You're an actual crazy person. I can't go around whipping people for raising their voices."

"Then you need to be prepared to defend yourself because sooner or later, somebody's going to think you're weak and come to take your life. And I don't mean foolish attempts in the woods while you're surrounded by soldiers. I mean an assassin who picks us off one by one until you have no protection. What are you going to do then, Cara, when we're all dead around you, and you're the only one left standing? What are you going to do when they use that moment to kill you?"

"I'm never going to let it get that far."

"How? With kind words and sympathetic glances? You're supposed to be the queen. Stop trying to be our friend!"

I stared into her soulless black eyes, and my anger fell away. "But you are my friend, Vix. I trust you."

"And when I'm the one holding the dagger against your throat?"

"You won't. You wouldn't do that."

She made a sound of frustration. "You can't trust anyone anymore. Why can't you see that?"

"I have ideas. I want to be able to protect myself properly, and I want more people like Bekind."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

I lowered my voice. "Spies, Vix. Bekind watches and listens and tells me what people are saying. But she's only got one pair of eyes. She can't be everywhere at once. And I know we don't exactly have a castle full of immortal cat ladies, but there have to be people who can and will work with us. I just need you to find them."

"Me?" She looked doubtful. "I thought my only job was to watch over Scarlet."

"And when she's older, that'll be a full-time job for somebody," I said. "But for now, it can be a cover for you. We need spies everywhere—in the kitchens, in the tribes, in the army, even in the other courts."

A slow, satisfied smile grew on Vix's face, revealing dimples that matched Sadler's. "That sounds more like it. You would really spy on them? Those men?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "You said it yourself, Vix. I can't trust anyone anymore. Not unless I have proof they're loyal, right?"

"You're playing me," she said with a laugh. "You're trying to distract me with this fresh new idea."

"Only a little." I grinned back. "But we do need help. And if the fae need a strong warrior queen, then that's what I'll be, but I'll also be smart and sneaky. So, are you in or out?"

A flicker of respect shone in her eyes. "When have I ever turned you down?"

Chapter Eight

On the day before the guests were due to arrive, a layer of apprehension covered us all. I could see it in the darted looks and sweaty brows of the workers and hear it in the whispered insults of the so-called elite. Everyone was in bad form, and I began to wonder if it was my nervous influence—because I was terrified. Not just of the ceremony or what would come afterward. I was absolutely shitting myself at the thought of seeing Brendan and Drake again. We weren't exactly on the best terms, no matter what their gifts might say. And if either of them turned against me, I was lost.

At dinner, Rat knocked over a pitcher of fruit juice. "I'll get another," she said as she hurriedly mopped it up.

"It's all right," I said.

She glanced at the table and shook her head. "It's only fair."

I shrugged and let her go. Scarlet sat next to me in a human safety seat attached to an old-fashioned faery chair, which looked kind of odd. Setanta was next to her in his new wheelchair, which we had recently procured from the human realm. The fae liked the strong and despised the weak, so I perversely wanted to take care of the weak to spite the strong. Fiadh was terrified of the wheelchair, but Setanta had quickly learned that he loved speed. Being carried around and babied wasn't good for him. He had come to life since he'd started spending so much time with Scarlet. Grey Eyes had even told me she suspected he would walk in a few years.

I chatted with him while gently persuading Scarlet that green vegetables were supposed to be swallowed rather than spat out in disgust. She ate a couple of peas with her preferred carrots, and I considered that a major win. I knew that those in court were doing their best to slip her sugary treats as soon as my back was turned. Whatever they felt about me, the court was in love with Scarlet for a number of reasons, least of which was the way she radiated joy, counteracting every negative emotion I was forcing on the room.

The dogs ran under the table, looking for scraps that might have fallen.

"Dog," Scarlet called, holding a piece of broccoli out to the black pup.

"No, that's yours." I shooed the pup away. "We really have to settle on names. I like Tristram and Iseult, but they're a bit of a mouthful."

"You could give them nicknames," Setanta offered.

"Tris and Issy perhaps," Líle said.

"They're just dogs," Realtín said, even as she stole meat from everyone's plates for the animals underfoot.

Grinning, I watched as the white pup waited patiently for her turn. But when the sprite threw the meat, the dog didn't even sniff it. For a second, I thought of poison. The pup sat down, held up her head, and let out a long, mournful howl. As one, we flinched at the sound.

"Somebody found her voice," Líle joked, but she looked unsettled.

But then the black pup growled at nothing. He joined in a second howl, and both of them screeched an awful wail that made my blood run cold. I had never heard anything like it before. Scarlet began to cry, a high-pitched shriek that sounded nothing like her. A glass on the table shattered, and a terrible dread clutched me.

"Death," somebody whispered.

"Where's Rat?" I asked sharply.

"She didn't come back from the kitchens," Vix said. Even she sounded troubled.

I rose to my feet. The pups stopped their howling and ran to the door. I followed, almost in a trance. I heard Rumble's armour clang as he moved after me, and other footsteps besides his, but I was too busy trying not to lose my dinner to figure out who the second person was. When I opened the door, the pups bolted as if they knew where they were going.

I ran along the corridor after them. They took two turns. Was it the kitchen? Had there been poison in the food after all?

But then a man stumbled out of a doorway ahead of me, closing his belt as he walked. His black hair was tussled, and long scratches had been dug into his cheek. The black pup growled at him while the white one ran into the room he had just left.

"Hold him here," I called out, pushing the startled man out of my way. I ran into the room with the pups and gasped.

Rat lay on the ground, her arms outstretched, and her legs akimbo. Her pink-tinged eyes were wide open and unseeing. Her neck had turned an ugly purple colour. Her cheek was swollen, and her clothes were in disarray. Rat had been the first to step over to my side, and now she was gone. Vix's words came to me—that the people who aligned themselves with me would die first.

"Rat," I whimpered, kneeling next to her. She was still warm, but no pulse beat in her neck. No thudding in her chest gave me hope. We hadn't had a chance at saving her. I closed her eyes, feeling the gamut of emotions, from pain and sorrow to anger and rage. This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. The fae had continually tested me, but this was too much. If they wanted a cruel faery queen, they could have her. I would use everything at my disposal to show them what I was capable of.

I got to my feet and turned slowly, black and red dots marring my vision. My grief had rapidly turned to an anger that manifested as a vibrating force around me, although I wasn't even sure if I was imagining it.

I left the room and found Rumble pinning the faery against the wall. I imagined my rage sparking and burning as I advanced on the man.

"You," I hissed in an unrecognisable voice. For once, I wished I were like a banshee, able to call death to me. But I was a queen, and I could call death in other ways. "What did you do?"

His expression of surprise turned to one of fear. "It wasn't on purpose. She got out of hand, and I put her in her place."

"In her place?" I said in the same dark tone. "She deserved this, did she?"

"Yes, but—"

I lashed my hand against his cheek so hard that my stomach turned with the shock of the pain vibrating through my wrist. My fingers clawed, my nails ripping his skin in the process, finishing the job that Rat must have started in self-defense.

He recoiled and covered his face with his hands. "You called us free men. Raised me up with the rest of the nameless. You said—"

"I never said this," I spat.

It was only then I noticed how many fae were surrounding us, eager to see what would happen next. Vix was right. I had to do something to make them understand that I couldn't be crossed. Poor Rat's life had been the cost of that lesson, and I was determined hers would be the last.

I breathed deeply and opened my palms as though releasing my anger. I hoped they all tasted it. "There are wooden stakes in the gardens," I said as calmly as I could manage. "The gardeners tried to use them for vines, but the vines died before the stakes were ever really needed."

The man nodded as if I were telling him a story. I swallowed my disgust and looked at Donncha. "Tie him to the stakes until I'm ready to deal with him." I looked back at Rat's body. "I need to take care of Rat first."

"But I didn't do anything wrong," the faery protested. "She was nobody. She was nothing. She was—"

"If he keeps talking, cut out his tongue." Even I was shocked by the venom in my words. I had to be a Darksider to earn the throne. I had to be a queen to keep it. It was too late to turn back. Hesitation would be our ruin.

Murmurs filled the hallway as Donncha and Oisín dragged the man outside. I didn't know what I was going to do to him, and I didn't care. It was Rat's time first.

Realtín was flying overhead, her light a deeper red than I had ever seen before. "Tell Vix and the others to bring Scarlet upstairs," I said. "Keep her up there."

Realtín hesitated before flying off, the dogs trying to keep up. I swallowed my grief as I looked at Rat again. She was so small. Her pink hair was untidy. She would hate that. I bent down, about to carry her myself, when the cook approached, milky tears running down her cheeks.

"I'll help carry her," she said. "She was just a... let me help."

I nodded, and between the two of us, we carried her body to the baths. More women followed, some I recognised, some I didn't. They watched over me as I cleaned her, and my sorrow must have leaked outward, because I heard more than one woman sob.

With all the tears, I couldn't see who was helping me prepare Rat's body. I chose a dress of my own for her to wear. I'd never worn it, but she had looked at it longingly more than once. I painted her nails a sparkling pink because that was the kind of thing that brought her joy.

It was my fault. My weakness had led to her death. I needed to make hard decisions. I needed to lead. And I needed to use every advantage I had over the fae. I needed to make them feel.

I let my grief and guilt spill outward and drench the entire castle. The fae were no longer sullen. Instead, I forced them to feel devastated. Brendan had said I'd been blocking my feelings, but now I was using them as a weapon. Since the Darksiders had begun pledging fealty, it had been so easy to douse them in my emotion. I'd tried not to because it had strange side effects sometimes, but in this case, it would be their punishment. Their lesson.

And it had never been easier to share my influence. I knew I was making even my own friends suffer—everyone in the castle except Scarlet felt pain and regret because of me—but it was the only way to make them understand that I had a power they couldn't fight, a power I wasn't afraid to use. I wasn't going to grieve alone.

"What would she like to happen to her body?" I asked, finally wiping my face dry.

"She was afraid of being brought back," the cook said in a shaky voice. "She was afraid that a god like the one Sadler worshipped would use her. Necromancy, you know. I told her that god wouldn't want her, but she was afraid all the same. She'd want to be burned, in the old way, so her body would cease to exist."

"It has to be tonight then," I said. "Before the visitors invade."

"We'll take care of it," Thistle said gently, taking my hand. "You get something warm on. It's a cold evening."

I nodded, but I found a new fur cloak for Rat first. I wore my old cloak, the one the Watcher's wife had given to me on the way to free Brendan's soul.

In my room, Realtín was sobbing against Líle's neck. Grim called my name in a sorrowful voice.

"Don't," I snapped. "It's time I picked a side, and I don't want to talk about it with you. Scarlet's asleep? Let her rest. We're going to say goodbye to Rat, and then I'm going to deal with the animal who did this to her."

"Good," Vix said viciously. I felt vicious myself.

Within an hour, I was standing in front of Rat's funeral pyre within the castle grounds. The wind whipped my cloak around me, biting at my skin as though it were made of glass. The weather had turned treacherous. The sky was a violet grey, and storm clouds hung overhead. Crows cawed, flying around us in circles.

Despite the wind, or perhaps because of it, the fire blazed almost out of control. Many of the fae retreated from the flames as if in terror, and I knew they saw the weather and the flames as omens, too. Sadler had often pushed his will on the weather, maybe unwittingly. I wondered what was causing this storm.

I stepped closer to the fire, so close that my skin threatened to sear. Rumble subtly held me back. I watched Rat burn, smelling the smoke and oils in the air, and my sorrow turned into an intense, dark rage the likes of which I had never felt before. Rat was innocent. Rat was gentle. Rat hadn't deserved to die.

The sky darkened, and the fire raged, and the flames of anger in my heart burned keenly. "You should go inside," I warned Rumble. "This isn't going to be pretty."

"I will never leave your side."

Something in his voice hit me like a hammer to the chest. I felt... but no, it was gone, and the rage returned. Every second I spent staring into Rat's funeral pyre fuelled my anger. The fae slowly began to retreat from me—all but Rumble. I didn't blame them. The anger kept growing, flying out of control as I seethed with it. And then it reached the point of no return, and my feet began to move.

Before I even realised what I was doing, I was striding into the gardens where the man who'd killed Rat had been uncomfortably tied to large pieces of wood. Those who dared, followed. I barely noticed them. All I could see was the man who had hurt Rat. He was one of the workers, and his muscles bulged as he strained against his restraints. I imagined him with Rat, towering over her, taking advantage of her, toying with her before killing her without remorse. And that hair. He was his father's son, and I would wipe his bad blood away. I wasn't thinking anymore, wasn't planning, wasn't even trying to survive. All I knew was that I wanted payback.

Somebody had taken my words seriously, it seemed. The man's mouth was full of blood, and although his lips moved, he formed no words I could understand. His tongue was gone, and I didn't feel an ounce of regret.

"You killed one of our own." I didn't have to speak loudly. My voice had taken on a life of its own, and it rang out so that everyone nearby could hear. "That makes you a traitor."

He shook his head, pleading with his eyes. But I saw Rat's eyes instead, and my anger deepened.

"You killed one my daughter loved." I gazed at him, throwing every ounce of my disgust into the stare. "And that makes you a fool."

I slid my dagger into his gut, and I twisted it, hoping that his pain was a thousand times worse than Rat's had been and that it lasted much longer. And as I watched the pain in his eyes, my anger melted away completely.

I could have asked for help. I could have told the fae to cut him down and save his life. But I didn't. I watched him bleed, and then I walked away, the Darksiders following in my wake. We left him to die alone, and I was glad.

At the doors of the castle, the pups began to howl, and I knew he was dead. I hesitated, feeling a tinge of regret, but deep down, I knew the truth: a queen could never hesitate. I could never hesitate again. And I would do whatever it took to control the fae so that Scarlet didn't have to.

When I washed the blood from my hands, I noticed that the blackness in my veins had spread to my wrists. I was well on my way to becoming the being I had seen in the mirror.

Rumble was the only one who followed me as I cleaned up. "Come with me," he said when I finished.

"Why?"

"Please."

I shrugged and followed, glad of the excuse to avoid returning to my room. I didn't want to face my old friends just yet, and I couldn't hold my daughter with death still fresh on my hands. Rumble led me to the back of the castle to older rooms so decayed they weren't in use.

"What's this about?" I asked warily.

"This used to be a training room," he said as he pulled a stuffed dummy into the centre of the room. He handed me a blunt sword.

"What's this for?"

He pointed at the dummy. "Kill it."

I shrugged and whacked the dummy with the sword. The thing was harder than it looked. I stabbed it through the chest, and some straw fell onto the floor. "Now what?"

"Keep killing it."

I threw the sword down in exasperation. "But why, Rumble?"

"You might have put on a scary display tonight for a reason, but I already warned you about controlling your temper. When Vix was a child, she was full of rage. Yes, even more so than now. She's tame compared to the feral wildcat she used to be. She suffered, and Sadler looked on without helping her because he wanted to make a monster out of her."

I winced. Poor Vix. She would despise my pity.

He gestured around the room. "I found her one day, spitting and hissing and cursing whenever anyone went near her. I decided to take care of her, and when I got to know her, I made her take her anger out on these dummies. She got stronger in mind, in body, and in spirit. She learned to focus her anger more wisely. Maybe this approach will help you, too."

"A miracle cure?" I scoffed. "I doubt it somehow."

"At least try. You wanted to be strong and be able to take care of yourself. Well, start with your own mind."

Tutting, I picked up the sword and started hitting. I saw everything I was angry about in that dummy, and I hit it until Rumble made me stop. By then, my arms were aching, and sweat rolled freely down my back.

"Okay," I panted. "It maybe helped a little. Take off the bloody helmet though, or I'll start hitting that next."

He hesitantly removed the helmet, letting me see his disfigured face. I reached out to touch his cheek. He flinched, but he stayed in place.

"Thank you," I said. "For helping, I mean."

"You're my queen."

"We're family. You're related to Scarlet. Stop acting as if you're not."

"By that standard, so is the man you killed today," he said. "He was Deorad's son, just as I was."

"I killed your brother."

"No, you killed Deorad's son. He's nothing to me, and he was nothing to Scarlet. But if you accept one of us as family, you'll be forced to take us all. Do you really want a man like that to claim a family connection with your child?"

I punched his arm and hurt my knuckles. "You're good at managing me without making me want to spit in your eye. If it wasn't tempting fate to marry yet another relative of Scarlet's, I'd think about making you marry me just to spite everyone else, Rumble."

He let out a surprised laugh. "Only if you wanted me to die young, my lady."

"There's that, too." I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I've let everything go too far. And right now, I'm too weak to be angry, so job well done, Mr. Bodyguard."

"Good. Take a bath, and then go to sleep. You'll need your rest. Tomorrow is a busy day."

"You should take the night off then. I think everyone's too upset to try and assassinate me tonight."

After my bath, I managed to grab a few minutes alone, so I took a bag of human possessions and headed up to the empty mirror room. The mirror was gone again, but Bart was sitting in the centre of the room.

"That was some display earlier," he commented.

"Go away, Bart," I said wearily. "I'm not in the mood for riddles or games."

He stood then bowed low. "Of course. What are your plans for this room, may I ask?"

"It's for me. Nobody is to come up here, including you."

"I see. Well, have a nice evening. We'll see what tomorrow brings."

When he left, I sat on the floor and took out a notebook and pen. Hitting things had gotten rid of the anger, but the sorrow was left behind with nothing to distract me from it. Maybe writing would help. I could turn the room into a kind of hall of shame, noting all of our mistakes, even mine.

Decided, I sat in the corner and wrote until my hand grew too tired. I wrote about the things that scared me and upset me and stressed me out. And I felt as though I'd released some of the bad feelings by the time I was finished.

I rolled up my sleeve and looked at the darkness in my veins, the way it had spread. Had my actions helped to spread it, or had the increasing darkness caused my actions? Maybe I would never know. A sound drew my attention, but it was only Bekind. The black cat jumped into my lap and let me cuddle her. Her purrs somehow calmed me, and I felt ready to sleep, hoping that the morning would bring us a better day.

Chapter Nine

Early the next morning, I addressed a subdued court. Even my old friends were on edge after my actions the previous day, so I made them remain with Scarlet while I spoke. There was an air of uneasiness that I needed to dispel before the guests arrived and a fear of my royal power to reinforce.

The realisation had come to me that I couldn't change the fae—instead, they had changed me. I was turning into a terrible person, and it had begun with Deorad's death. But if the fae feared me, Scarlet and I would be able to remain long enough for them to love her, and she could change them.

"We need to clear up a few things," I said before the crowd. "Yesterday was a day I don't want to repeat. So don't force me to repeat it."

A few gasps of consternation followed, which I cut short with one decisive glare.

"If you want to stay with this court, there are rules you have to follow. You don't hurt each other or anyone else... without permission. If we're in a war, we fight. But turning on each other is the worst crime you can commit. Especially now, when two courts are on their way to inspect us."

I strode in front of them, catching the gaze of as many fae as possible. All or nothing. "We must wear our best faces if we don't want the other courts to think we're the waste of time they've always assumed us to be. This isn't just about me. This is when they decide if we're worth life. If you don't understand that, then listen well, because this week will be the judgement of us all. Swear fealty or don't, but never give them a chance to write you off. Yesterday happened in the presence of emissaries. Believe me when I say that it won't go unnoticed. We can't make another mistake like that. We have to show how worthy we are, and if we're going to fix this blight, then we have to work together with each other and with the other courts. That's my priority once the ceremony is over. We can't save the realm alone. Consider everything I've said. If you're still here tonight, then I'll assume you accept the rules set before you today. Now go. Impress them all."

I left the room abruptly to meet with Vix and Bekind. "I have to get ready," I said as we walked toward the baths. "But remember what I said about recruitment. They need to be intelligent and charming but, most of all, loyal and capable of defending themselves. And discretion is key."

"Don't worry," Vix drawled. "The numbers will grow. Our secret weapons will be ready when you need them."

The sound of horse hooves had us all rushing to the closest window. "Already?" I squeaked. "I'm not even close to being ready."

"Relax," Bekind said. "They can't see you until the ceremony, and you've plenty of time to get ready for that." She squeezed my hand. "We've made it perfect."

We had so many plans for the celebrations, but I had ignored the elephant in the room: the ceremony itself. I hadn't considered what it would take to go through with it, and what would happen if it went wrong and the Darksiders turned on me.

"Have I done enough? Will they behave?" I asked Vix urgently.

"Stop worrying. Everyone's terrified to make a wrong move after that little display last night." She made a face. "We really hate crying, you know."

"Good. I'll always hold that over your heads. Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I might throw up."

"Because of the ceremony or the kings?" Bekind asked slyly.

"Quiet, you." But at least she had made me smile.

We hurried to my tower room to fetch Líle and Scarlet. Grim and Realtín were already in their newly assigned room in the designated Green Court section of the castle, waiting for their peers to show up. I knew I wouldn't manage to grab another moment alone that day.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop—for some repercussion to occur—but everyone was too busy preparing for the ceremony to react to what I had done only a day before.

After bathing, I finally let some of the fae help me prepare. I would never manage the stupid corset on my own. I watched as Scarlet splashed in the water with a few servants, a huge smile on her face. That was what I had to remember. It was all for her. I wished Rat could have seen it. I could just imagine the wonder in her eyes as she took in the excitement of the day.

"Hold your breath," the seamstress ordered.

"I'd like to be able to breathe today."

"It's the one day." With a grunt, she yanked the strings of the corset tight. "You can change after the ceremony, but you must look your best this afternoon. The ceremony will name you as one of us, as a worthy ruler, so you had better look the part, young lady."

I laughed at her tone then sucked in my breath, groaning as the cords tightened.

"There. That's lovely now." She patted my backside. "You might even catch yourself a nice new husband."

"Are you trying to ruin my day?"

Ignoring me, she prattled on. "And the weather's fine, too. It's a good sign. A great sign."

I glanced at the window. The storm clouds were gone, and the burning smell scarcely lingered in the air. I looked down at the dress. It was black, and heavy with layers, but the fabric was as translucent as a faery wing. The dress had no sleeves, so not only could people see my newly extended black veins, they would also see the green-and-silver bracelet I refused to remove. That might have been a mistake as well. In fact, the entire day was probably a mistake.

I anxiously scratched the inside of my forearm.

"Stay calm," Bekind said as a female faery brushed out her long golden hair. Bekind sat cross-legged in a chair, completely relaxed. As my ancestor, she was a part of the ceremony and had to be human and wear clothes for a change.

"I'm feeling the exact opposite of calm right now." I blew my fringe off my face. "It's the corset. It's too tight. I'll pass out in front of everybody then die of shame."

"The dress is fine, and if you pass out, you'll get back up and keep walking. This is happening, Cara. It's too late to back out now."

I made a yelp of alarm.

"I'll be right behind you with Scarlet," she said soothingly. "Everyone will be there."

That meant everyone except Zoe or my grandparents or even my mother. I touched my bare neck and thought of my brother. If he had lived, what would he think of his little sister now?

The seamstress added some sparkle to Bekind's hair, making it shine under the light from the window. "You look beautiful, Bek," I said in awe.

"Someone fetch my great-great-great-whatever-granddaughter a mirror, please," Bekind said, and there was affection in her eyes. "You look like a queen."

I patted the back of my hair and posed. "Yeah, well, somebody has to." The pins holding up my complicated updo were already feeling stabby.

"The real star is the child," the seamstress said. "All that hair at her age, and she sits so nicely in her dress.

My daughter was looking very pleased with herself in her fancy new gown. The fae had curled her hair, and its silver patch looked like a decoration. Her large violet eyes gazed at everything in wonder. If only she had any idea of what I was getting us both into.

There was a knock at the door. "It's time," said Vix. "They're all waiting."

I swallowed hard, unable to force my feet to move.

"Get Rumble to carry her," Bekind said nastily. "That'll get her moving."

"Oh, shut up. I'm allowed to be nervous."

"You have nothing to be nervous about," Bekind said fiercely. "Nothing at all."

Easy for the immortal cat to say.

I stepped out of the room, trying to get used to the size of the skirt. Bekind followed, carrying Scarlet. Both wore black to signify their court.

"The shawl!" the seamstress cried. She ran after me to wrap a white shawl around me. "When you get to take this off, you really will be our queen. Now, good luck to you."

I took a calming breath then started the walk downstairs. Fae lined the stairwell, waiting for me. As I passed, they clapped. I kept my eyes straight ahead, focusing on walking without tumbling down the stairs. Scarlet giggled behind me, and the fae cooed over her. The dogs raced up and down the hallway as I headed for the main doors.

I stepped outside and took another deep breath.

"This is your time," Bekind whispered. "Don't be afraid, Cara."

"I can't help it."

Inside, I was panicking, and I was sure it was starting to show. Scores of faeries were waiting outside. I tried to find a familiar face but couldn't.

Beyond the crowds, a marquee had been set up. I was supposed to walk through everyone to get my crown. I reached the carpet that had been rolled out and froze to the spot. What was I doing? I was a human. I didn't know how to manage a kingdom. It was a dream, and it had turned into a nightmare.

Despite Bekind's urging, I couldn't bring myself to step onto the carpet. If I had been fae, the men in my family would have escorted me. But I had no one, and I wasn't sure how to take the first step.

Brendan came out of nowhere and took my arm. "You can do this," he murmured. "You can't stop now."

"I killed a man yesterday," I said, blinking to stop the tears from falling. "Rat is dead, and I killed the man who hurt her myself."

"We'll talk about it later," he promised.

"I won't make a good queen."

He looked down on me and smiled, the good smile that made it seem as if everything would be okay. "Yes, you will. True chaos will come if you walk away now. We need you to keep the Darksiders together. Drake and I need you to keep us in line, too."

I gazed at him. "You're mad at me though."

"It doesn't matter today. This is what the realm needs right now. This is what will be done."

"What if I screw it all up?"

"You won't. May I escort you?"

I inhaled sharply. "Yes, please."

"Then we should start walking. Today, preferably."

I bit back my smile as Drake approached. But his features were free of the haughtiness he liked to project, and his violet eyes were warm and encouraging. He greeted me with a rare true smile, and it might have been Scarlet smiling back at me. "Come on," he said, taking my other arm. "Let's give the Darksiders their queen."

I gave him a grateful look. I hadn't expected help from either of them, but if they hadn't been by my side, I might not have been able to keep going.

"Everything is going to be fine," Drake said. "It will all work out."

I didn't try to work out what it meant exactly, but my feet began to move. Fae stood as we passed them by, and I sensed approval in the air. The kings had given me their blessing when it counted. I could make it to the marquee. I gripped onto my friends as tightly as I dared as we walked, and before we reached the marquee, they slipped away to take their seats with their own subjects. I had to walk the rest of the way alone, but I was okay by that point. Brendan was right. There couldn't be any more upheaval. We couldn't afford it. We had a lot to fix.

Scarlet laughed again. I looked over my shoulder to see Bekind making faces at her. Smiling, I faced forward and finally stepped into the marquee. I recognised maybe one or two faces out of the twelve fae lined up in front of me. They were there to judge me, but they had been the ones who'd deemed Sadler worthy of his crown.

The hedge-witch was first.

"You care for Brighid's grotto," I said quickly under my breath. "Did the First Tree grow there?"

She made a sound of amusement. "Even I'm not so old as to remember that." She cut a branch from her hair and handed it to me. She smiled at Scarlet then nodded at me. "Good breeding."

I bit back a not-so-pleasant comment and moved on to the next fae. He turned his back on me. Grim had warned me it might be so. All I needed was for the majority of them to give their blessing.

Brendan had gone through an ordeal to become king, but Scarlet was blameless for my actions. As I would only be regent—a pliable one, many fae assumed—and none other had decided to stand against Scarlet, we could bypass the usual trials. I didn't think I would have managed otherwise.

I moved down the line. A tiny faery woman handed me a thimbleful of water, but her eyes were on Scarlet. In fact, everyone was more interested in my daughter than me, and that was a good thing. I was a means to an end, and most fae were grateful to be rid of Sadler after his threats against the realm. Still, if they knew more about me, they might not be so keen to accept my child.

Bekind had to help me carry the fae blessings. The next male faery handed me a thick, white candle. As he brushed against my fingers, the candle lit, and he nodded and let go. Next to him stood what looked like a child. She held out her palm to show me a flower. When I took it in my hand, she gripped my wrist to hold me still. The flower bloomed. She let me go without a word.

The next faery was a young woman with grave eyes, and hair that resembled a huge puff of orange candy floss. She studied me for a long time before cupping my face with her hand. She leaned in and surprised me with a long kiss. The kiss didn't end until the hedge-witch cleared her throat. The woman pulled away and kissed the top of my nose with a gleeful laugh.

I realised that no one was breathing. "What's the matter?" I couldn't help asking.

"We're waiting to see if she poisoned you or not," the next faery said, and he held out a golden coin. "Here—while we're waiting."

"Thank you. I'm feeling okay though."

"By the Goddess, why would I poison a queen who can kiss like that?" asked the faery with the cotton-candy hair.

The one with the coin rolled his eyes and shooed me down the line. More faeries turned their backs on me, and one even spat on the ground. But the last one gazed at me, her green-tinged face cocked to the side. "I'm the one who tells the secrets that wish to be heard. But as soon as they're spoken, the words are forgotten. Shall I tell you a secret?"

"Yes, please," I said.

She leaned in close and whispered, "Three kings prayed to three deities, and so a dying child survived."

Flustered, I moved to the end of the line so that Scarlet and I could complete the ceremony. The vote had been seven to five. We could proceed.

Bekind helped me remember the steps. She tied a black ribbon that joined my hand with Scarlet's. I kissed Scarlet's cheek and then, on a whim, kissed Bekind's, too. "May your people love you." I placed the coin in Scarlet's pocket and said, "May your people be rich in the things they need." I pinned the flower into her hair. "May your lands grow in abundance." I whispered the secret into her ear and forgot the words as soon as I had spoken them.

"My mouth will speak for yours. My hands will toil for yours. My mind will think for yours. My actions will perform for yours. And when your time comes, I will stand back and let you soar." I broke the branch in half and gave the larger piece to Scarlet. Unsurprisingly, she tried to chew on it.

Bekind used the candle to light the ribbon. As soon as it began to burn, she used the thimble to douse the flame. "May the elements be at your will."

She led us to our seats. I sat next to Scarlet and waited. Bekind laid my old black crown on my head. She laid a crown made of black roses and Brighid's flowers on Scarlet's head. A gust of wind blew against us, but the crowns remained in place, and the crowd breathed a sigh of relief. The gods didn't object, either.

Bekind knelt low at my feet and renewed her pledge of fealty. She kissed Scarlet's hand and moved on. One by one, the Darksiders came to kneel before us. Each of them gave Scarlet a kiss, and most of them missed the flicker of darkness swirling across the back of her hand. But two of them gave her hand a second look: Setanta and Bart. Setanta smiled at Scarlet then at me with a shrewd look in his eyes. Bart's smile unsettled me in ways I couldn't even explain. But he didn't say a word.

The other courts didn't kneel at my feet, but they brought more gifts and laid them close by. Drake brought seedlings for the gardens. Brendan brought a black rose bush. I made up my mind to somehow involve Scarlet in the planting to see if she made a difference.

I sat in that chair for so long that my backside ached. I barely noticed what happened next. The ceremony continued, and too many words were said. When the words were spoken, the entire crowd went silent. Rafe laid his hand on my shoulder, removed the white shawl, and officially declared me Queen Regent of the Chaos Court. A strange sensation ran through my body. I thought it was nerves, and the rest of the ceremony moved so quickly that I didn't give it much thought.

When it was finally over, a procession of female fae led us back into the castle. I looked for Drake and Brendan in the crowd, but I couldn't find them because most of the fae were on their feet, clapping respectfully.

Inside, I collapsed into a chair. "It's over," I said, relieved.

"We've a party to go to," Bekind said.

"Dinner first," I said with a groan. "Then Scarlet's bedtime."

We moved to our room upstairs to get more comfortable. Mostly, I needed to loosen the bloody corset.

"So," I said. "How did I do?"

"You were perfect," Bekind said sincerely.

"It did go well," Vix said with a sly grin. "And who are you passing that kiss on to? Because you certainly didn't give it away during the ceremony."

"Funny." I was too tired to think of anything else to say.

"It was a good sign," Rumble said.

"I can't remember the secret," I said, feeling frustrated.

"A pity," Bekind said. "By your expression, it was a juicy one."

"It was well of the kings to escort you," Vix conceded. "And a good sign for what's to come."

Scarlet sneezed loudly, drawing attention away from me. Until dinner, the others chattered excitedly about the success of the event, but I sat there thinking, "What the hell have I done?"
Chapter Ten

Dinner lasted for hours. At first, the room had been divided into three sections, one for each court. The tables in each section were pushed close together, but as the night wore on, the courts began to mingle.

I was surrounded by Darksider elites, the cream of the crop—at least, according to them. And it was the dullest conversation I had ever witnessed. I struggled not to yawn as I pushed food around my plate, eyeing a glass of golden wine with longing. The room was sweltering, and the noise levels kept increasing. Every Darksider took the opportunity to fawn over Scarlet, who sat in a seat next to me and giggled every time a person so much as bowed in front of her.

She sneezed a couple more times. As I wiped her nose clean, I surreptitiously watched my acquaintances from both of the other courts. Neither king looked exactly happy, but at least my old friends seemed to be enjoying themselves.

The food before me looked amazing, but I knew there were plenty of faeries in the kitchen who'd be stuffing themselves with the leftovers. We'd only have one night for feasting, but I was more concerned with landslides and sinkholes than various roasted animals.

A gentle hand tapped my shoulder. I looked around, and Anya was standing there, looking shy.

"Hey," I said. "I thought you would have come over sooner."

"I had to wait." She looked at Scarlet longingly. "Is she well?"

"See for yourself," I said, puzzled by her reticence.

"May I?"

I nodded, and the bronze-skinned pixie knelt by Scarlet's seat and kissed her hand. The child gave a smile of delight and pushed wet baby kisses against Anya's face.

"Oh, she looks so beautiful," Anya cooed. "And so big, too."

"She's missed you," I said. "I'm sorry about what happened, Anya. I wish we could all be together, but..."

She sighed. "Nothing will ever be the way it was."

I avoided my instinctual glance at a king. "I know. But maybe things can get better."

She bit her lip. "May I take care of her for a time? She looks exhausted. I could put her to bed and watch over her."

I tried to smile. Even my friends were more interested in Scarlet than in me these days. "After dinner, you can take her to my room. It's too loud in here for her, and it's only going to get worse. Vix and Orlaith can go with you."

"Two bodyguards?" She smiled. "Is that necessary?"

I thought of Rat, and any humour in my expression dropped. "Yes."

Startled, she backed away, nodding. "I'll be with... my court."

I held her gaze for a few seconds before she turned her back on me. I looked at Scarlet as she let out another sneeze. She had eaten some dinner, but she really did look tired.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I asked her.

She raised her arms to me in answer.

"Will Anya put you to bed?" I asked as I snuggled her.

"Na-Na," she said, making me smile. She had sounds for everything now. Sometimes I worried I didn't talk to her enough, but then I'd hear Setanta chatting away, and I knew she would always have someone teaching her words.

I stood, nodded at Rumble and Vix, and slowly made my way to the Green Court section. My entire table rose, too, and most of the room watched me. I knew that there were guards everywhere, but I still felt like a target as I held Scarlet close.

The pups followed at my heels. I had been the one feeding them because I was afraid the fae would forget, and the dogs had become attached to me. They saw the children as playmates, but despite being double the size they had been on their arrival, the pups were always careful not to hurt the children.

I saw Arlen walking between the tables and smiled, but he returned a withering glare. Apparently, he hadn't forgiven me for taking the Darkside from Brendan. Or for coming between him and Anya.

Anya waved me over. She was sitting next to Líle amidst a number of empty seats as her companions mingled.

"She's going to fall asleep on her plate if I don't send her up to bed soon," I told Anya with a smile. "I think she's coming down with a cold. But finish your dessert. I'll wait here, if you don't mind."

Anya beamed. "You're always welcome with us, Cara. No matter—"

Her voice died away as Drake casually joined us at the table. A brief panic struck me as I felt people staring, but Drake's expression was mild and unthreatening. "The dogs look well." He ran his hand over the white pup's head.

"Oh. Thank you for them." Why did every exchange with him have to feel so awkward? "You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble though. I heard they're rare."

"I wanted one for myself. And when I sent out word, both arrived from two different breeders in a short time. They got on so well, and when I saw them together, I thought..." He looked away, pink dotting the centres of his cheeks.

"Scarlet loves them." I kept my voice flat. I had only recently threatened his life, and I was pretty sure he had seriously considered taking Scarlet from me.

"I'm glad." He cleared his throat and nodded at her. "She must be tired."

"Yeah, it's past her bedtime."

Scarlet's head was against my shoulder, and I knew she had been staring at Drake, but when she reached out her hand to touch him, even I was surprised. He froze, a mixture of longing and fear on his face. Scarlet's fingers flexed as if she were asking him to take her hand, but he didn't move. My stomach sank at his open rejection of our daughter.

Brendan appeared out of nowhere and took Scarlet's hand instead.

"And here's where the little butterfly's been hiding," he practically bellowed. He rubbed her palm against the stubble on his jaw, sending Scarlet into hysterical giggles. He took her out of my arms and held her up high, making her body twist with delight.

"Oh, no," Anya said crossly. "Don't get her overexcited right before bedtime."

"Did you hear that?" Brendan asked Scarlet, handing her to Anya. "Even kings get told off in this court." He patted my daughter's head before taking his seat at the table.

I turned to Drake. His mouth was opening and closing as though he were trying to find words that didn't exist.

"Well," I said. "Enjoy your dinner."

He gripped my arm then let go just as suddenly. "I'm sorry."

I wasn't sure what he was apologising for, but I was feeling a little guilty myself. "Just so you know, I wouldn't have used the sword."

His thin smile made me uncomfortable. "I was hoping we could talk tomorrow."

I nodded, feeling my cheeks burn for no real reason. "Of course. I, um, I should say goodnight to Scarlet before Anya kidnaps her."

He nodded, and he looked almost exactly like the faery I had first met. But his beautiful wings were folded inside his clothes, and as he walked away, I saw them move as if desperately trying to free themselves. I pitied him for creating his own prison.

Scarlet was being doted on by Anya and those around her. "She's grown so much," Anya said, her eyes shining. "I almost didn't recognise her."

"She's growing fast," I said. "I expected her not to."

"Never expect anything in the faery realm," Brendan said lazily from his seat at the head of the table. "Or didn't you know?"

A woman with mermaid-length lavender hair touched Brendan's arm. "She'll learn."

I gazed at the woman, trying to place her. Nobody introduced her, but her words seemed to kill the conversation.

"Well," I said, confused. "It's Scarlet's bedtime. Anya, I'll walk you upstairs." I gestured at Orlaith to let her know she was needed upstairs, then Anya and I headed away from the dinner.

Realtín perched on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Cara. I'll take care of Scarlet when the pixie is too stupid to notice her running away."

Anya's cheeks deepened in colour. "That was cruel, Realtín. You know I take good care of Scarlet."

Realtín's only reply was a mischievous cackle. She really could be mean, but I still loved her.

"Okay," I said under my breath. "You won't be alone in the room. Orlaith and Vix will be there, and the dogs, too."

Realtín groaned. "Not the dogs."

"Yes, the dogs. Now, if they howl, lock the door. Don't even ask. Just do it. And Realtín, please don't bother Vix. I love you too much to see you squashed under her shoe."

"She wouldn't catch me," Realtín said, flickering red and gold.

"Don't even risk it. Hey, who was that woman back there?"

Anya and Realtín exchanged a glance.

"What?" I said. "Should I know her?"

Anya shook her head. "The lineage consultant made some arrangements before he died. It seems some of them didn't end with his death."

Realtín pinched my neck. "Yvette is the willing bride up for sale. If Brendan makes her a queen, her family will be his biggest, richest supporters. And if he doesn't, then Drake will have some new best friends."

I glanced over my shoulder. "Ah. That's the one Grim mentioned. So, is he engaged now?" It surprised me how sick I felt.

"Brendan's pretending he doesn't understand the rules of this game," Anya said. "But Yvette's pixies have told the entire court what will happen. Brendan can't not know."

"Good thing I don't need him to protect Scarlet anymore," I said as lightly as I could manage.

"It's a great deal more serious than that," Realtín said.

I tried to laugh it off. "It'll make no difference to me."

"Has Drake been much of a friend to you since he married?" Realtín asked. "Do you think Brendan's wife will be any different?"

I looked at Anya for confirmation.

"Life will change," was all she said.

The thought of both kings acting like Drake made a shiver run down my spine.

Chapter Eleven

I stepped into the hall alone. The noise was almost deafening. Dinner was over, and the party's music had already started. The musicians played songs I knew, but that just reminded me of a time when Brendan had done the same thing. I shivered as I looked around the room. Maybe the others were right. Maybe I would lose another friend. Maybe that was why I felt so alone.

It was too hot. My fringe stuck to my forehead. I grabbed a goblet of wine from a passing tray and took one sip. The golden wine warmed my tongue and my insides, but the whispers around me grew louder.

"She can influence the kings, and we'll..."

"One of them will kill her soon enough..."

"Who will really lead?"

"Whoever controls the child, controls the..."

"She's a witch. That's what we..."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. When I opened them, the room appeared clearer. I shoved the cup into the hand of the faery next to me. He stuttered something in response, but I was already leaving.

I strode across the hall as if I owned the place. And apparently, I did. But maybe the fae had chosen me because I was replaceable and suggestible. When I looked at the group of Darksiders in the centre of the room, I saw no friendly faces.

I headed to my throne instead of joining them. Rumble was nearby, but he was walking through the crowds, listening to what was being said. I didn't envy him. The thrones were at least comfortable now. Somebody had decorated them with flowers, and the smell grew sickening as the petals slowly decayed. I gripped the arms of the chair and held on as the room spun.

I breathed through my mouth and watched the room, trying to pick out familiar faces. Drake and Sorcha sat side by side. They barely spoke and never smiled. My ancestor, the leanan sídhe called Donella, was nowhere to be seen, possibly because she was out of favour but more likely because she resented me accomplishing what she couldn't. Bekind, my other ancestor, had gone missing again. I wished, just for one day, she had stuck by my side and made me feel less alone.

I kept searching the faces around me. Dymphna and Fiadh were having a discussion in the corner of the room. I briefly wondered where their children were. I caught Bran's eye and waved, pleased to see him looking well and as pastel coloured as always. He bowed, but he gave me a sly wink. Grim and Líle were speaking together at the side of the room. They both looked worried. They glanced over at me then turned away just as quickly. Even my old friends were becoming secretive with me. Could I trust anyone anymore?

And then I found the face I had been saving for last. Brendan was holding court at his table, his hand on Arlen's shoulder as he regaled those around him with one of his many charming stories. He had barely spoken to me since he arrived. I missed the way we used to be comfortable together on occasions like these, when I'd sit by his side, trying not to laugh as he kept me amused. And now it was over.

A voice loudly called out for silence, and I was forced to look away to find out what was going on. The musicians had stopped playing, and everyone was looking at the group of beautiful faery women posed in front of them.

The woman with lavender hair, Yvette, stretched out her arms with a smile. "Where I come from, women are trained in many arts."

I frowned. And that meant what exactly?

"Many of you have never met me before because our fathers keep us secluded for as long as possible." She glanced at the woman to her right and smiled. "So, we prepared a little introduction, a gift for the newly crowned... regent." She looked at me, and her smile was calculating. "May your daughter's reign be long and peaceful."

Why did that sound so threatening? My fingers clenched the arms of the chair.

The musicians played a different melody then, one I didn't recognise. Yvette slipped her dress off her shoulders along with the rest of her group. Under their clothes, the women all wore silky material that was wrapped around their bodies in strips, revealing enough skin to display their tattoos.

Yvette led the others in a seductive dance, making serpent-like movements as she approached the tables. The women spread out, drawing attention from the closest tables. Yvette made a beeline for Brendan. He watched her, entranced, and my stomach threatened to heave. As Yvette danced, her tattoos seemed to swirl, and her movements grew more and more sensual until I couldn't look anymore.

As I gazed about the room, I saw that almost all the fae were as entranced as Brendan. Rumble was ever watchful. Bart and the glaistig were having some kind of argument in the back of the room. She stamped her cloven feet before storming off.

And Drake was staring at me. He caught my eye and lifted his shoulders in a shrug, a bemused look on his face.

I mouthed the words, "What the hell?"

He grinned mischievously and mouthed back, "Should we get them a room?"

I snorted with laughter, breaking the trance. As all eyes turned to me, I covered my laughter, pretending to cough politely instead. Brendan glared at me, and I hurriedly waved at Yvette to carry on. Her shrewd gaze chilled me so much that I had to look away.

Bart moved to my side with another goblet of wine. "You look as though you need something to get you through this."

"Am I that obvious?"

"You're one of the more transparent people here. It's refreshing, no?"

I stared at him. He was one of the most interesting faeries I had ever met. His skin was blacker than any other shade in the Darkside, and his overly large pupils were surrounded by sky blue instead of the chilling white that had once been there. His back wasn't as hunched as it had been when Sadler ruled, but nobody else seemed to be aware of the changes. And he had saved my life.

"Well, you're right." I took the cup from his hands. "This isn't how I expected tonight to be."

His fingers stayed my hand. "Don't drink too fast. It takes getting used to."

I smirked. "Don't I know it." I pulled my hand out of his grip. "Aren't you enjoying the show, Bart?"

He sneered as he looked over at Yvette's renewed efforts. "In some places, this kind of show is a last-ditch effort."

"What kind of place is she from?"

He hesitated, his eyes changing colour as I watched. "A place long forgotten." He sounded mournful.

"Do you know her or something?"

He shook himself out of his sudden sombre moment. "Of course not."

I observed him over the edge of my cup, interested in finding out more about him. "Where are you from then?"

His gaze snapped to mine, his eyes alight with amusement. "Somewhere you'll never go. Think yourself lucky."

"Am I ever going to earn your story?" I meant to tease, but the words came out sounding serious.

He frowned. "Not every story should be heard." He looked up at my crown. "Is it as heavy as they say?"

"They don't exaggerate." I tried to smile, but my faery-wine buzz was fast dissipating. I gazed at the cup in my hand. Maybe one more sip.

"Cara," Bart said gently.

I looked at him, wondering if I had missed something.

"Nothing," he said after a moment. "It matters not." He bowed low then, and it felt mocking. "Enjoy the celebrations. I'm sure you'll want to make this night last. After all, tomorrow the real business begins."

I took an absentminded sip as I watched Bart walk away. He frequently left me feeling as though I were missing some very important piece of information.

Bored, I nibbled on grapes from the plate next to me. My next sip of wine was interrupted by Rumble. He took the cup from my hands. "Don't trust everyone who speaks sweetly to you."

"Bart?" I fanned my face. "He saved my life when I escaped from Sadler. He got me out of here and almost died doing it."

He beckoned a servant over to take the cup away. I blinked as a haze came over me. My fingers started to feel uncomfortably numb.

"Sometimes even bad deeds work in your favour," Rumble was saying, but the words echoed around me.

The heat became claustrophobic, and Yvette's music gave me a headache. The way she pawed at Brendan made me want to vomit. He turned to look at me and frowned. Had I said it out loud or something? Then a flash of silver hair got in the way as Drake spoke to Brendan. The dance continued, but the movements made me feel seasick.

"I need some air," I muttered.

Rumble's hands were gentle as he helped me up. "Some air." He sounded far away. "And then you must sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," I said, trying to push him away—to no avail. "I need to celebrate. Tomorrow we have to fix the realm."

Rumble sighed and muttered something under his breath. He urged me toward the doors. I heard concerned voices, but Rumble sent them all away.

I stumbled outside, and the cool air hit me like a slap. I shivered, but the heat of the wine kept the worst of the chill away. Rumble steered me away from the soldiers and toward the gardens. I leaned on him at first, but his grip on me was too strong. I felt suffocated. "Let me go."

"If I let you go, you'll fall."

"I won't fall. I know how to walk, Rumble. Comhaill. Rumble. Comhaill-Rumble. Rumble suits you better."

"As you say."

We reached Brighid's flower. I squeezed out of Rumble's grasp and half fell into the dirt. I pretended I had intended to do that and sank my fingers into the soil. "How is she supposed to fix this?"

"Who?" Rumble asked.

"Um, Scarlet?" I threw a clump of dirt at him for being so stupid. "My daughter's magical, but how can a baby clean all of this? What is she supposed to do? Chew every bit of dirt and spit it out like some kind of... some kind of human-faery earthworm?"

Rumble was staring at me as if I had lost my mind.

"Oh, forget it," I muttered. "I hate this stupid flower. It causes all of my problems." I reached out to touch the petals. Maybe it hadn't caused all of my problems. "I'm human," I told the flower. "How can a child be so powerful if her mother is just a human? What did you do to her?"

"We should go inside. Before anyone hears you."

"Hears me, shmears me," I rattled off.

"How did this happen?" Rumble muttered to himself.

I let him help me to my feet, but then I stumbled away from his side, my limbs strangely heavy. I ran from the castle, gasping for air because the wine had made my lungs constrict into dry, shrivelled things incapable of taking a deep breath.

Rumble called out for me to stop, but I spun in a circle instead, my arms stretched out wide. Oh, God. Drake couldn't let himself love Scarlet, and Brendan was going to get married to a bitchy mermaid with legs, and everyone expected me to stop the blight, but it was really Scarlet. She had to save us all. My stomach flipped over, and I ran to escape my fear.

I came to a sudden stop, terrified of what was going to come next. Even though I stood still, the world kept spinning. It lurched upside down and made the ground smack me in the face. I gasped against the grass as a sharp pain twisted my ankle.

Rumble swore and came to get me, so I scrambled onto my hands and knees and crawled until the wine lovingly wrapped around the pain and made it go away. Why was Rumble so slow, anyway? I glanced over my shoulder. He was keeping his distance as though afraid to come too close.

Well, screw that. I got up and ran, knowing nobody could catch me, and I laughed, but I couldn't remember what was funny. It didn't matter.

I stopped when I came to the pond. Ronnie had been there before—a human tortured by the fae until she lost her mind and was sent back, rejected. She'd been jealous of me because I was kept longer. I wondered where she was and whether she'd died. Would I turn into her?

I didn't care anymore, but my feet burned, and the water looked cool and inviting. I slipped off my shoes and lifted my skirts then stepped into the pond. The mud squished pleasantly between my toes. I heard voices arguing in the distance. Stupid voices.

Yawning, I decided I was too tired to take another step, so I sat on the grass, my feet still in the water. I lay back and gazed up at the lilac moon, my fingers twisting the blades of grass at my side.

"The moon is always the same," I murmured. "It never changes." But I changed.

"Cara." Brendan's voice spoke harshly.

I squinted as he peered over me. "How did you do that? How did you turn into him?"

He frowned, and it looked funny upside-down. I giggled again, wrapping my arms around myself.

"What happened to her?" he asked somebody behind him. "I've never witnessed wine having this effect on her before."

"Only two sips that I noticed," Rumble's voice said. "It's likely there was something else in the wine."

"Who would dare? She's sneaky when she's feeling stubborn. She may have had more than you thought."

"Aaaah, there are two of you." I giggled at the sound of my own voice.

"This isn't funny," Brendan said sharply.

"Oh, boo," I said. "Maybe tomorrow, I'll help you find your sense of humour."

"It's time to go inside," he said.

"Nope. I'm the queen. I don't even have a bedtime."

Brendan made a sound of exasperation. "This isn't the way it goes."

"I'd take her inside," Rumble said, "but it's getting stronger. I don't trust myself."

"I'll take her in," Brendan said.

"I don't trust you, either."

"I'm used to it. She has nothing to fear from me."

"What are you even talking about?" I kicked the water and winced. "Stop keeping secrets, everyone."

Brendan knelt next to me and sighed. "You hurt yourself."

"No, I didn't." I turned to look at him more closely. I felt tiny next to him.

He brushed my bangs off my face. His hands were gentle. I held his gaze. I had always liked how he looked. Something warm grew in my chest, and it made me smile.

His oversized pupils enlarged until I could barely see the green. "Stop doing that, Cara."

"I'm just cooling my feet," I said indignantly. "What's wrong with that?"

"You're feeling entirely too loudly."

"I don't feel, remember? Make up your mind." I stretched my arms into the air. I couldn't even feel the wind anymore.

"I'm going to take you inside now."

"I don't feel like walking."

"Then I'll just have to carry you."

"No, thank you," I said brightly.

Muttering under his breath, Brendan heaved me into the air and against his chest. It wasn't so bad there, so I curled up against him, sleepy and happy.

"This is bad," Brendan said. "Go on ahead. Clear the top floor, and make sure nobody gets past you."

"Understood," Rumble said. "We'll watch the stairs. That woman will be enough of a distraction for a time."

"Hurry. She's shivering." Everything went quiet, and Brendan held me tighter. "You're so cold," he whispered.

I was warm, or at least, I thought I was. But when I looked at my hands, they trembled, and they looked bluish under the moon's light. I opened the top buttons of Brendan's shirt and slipped my hands inside to warm my fingers before they froze right off. He inhaled sharply as my cold hands touched his warm skin. His heartbeat was steady and soothing and loud, and I relaxed completely, my mind empty of everything but the beating of his heart.

Next thing I knew, I was in a bed being covered by a blanket. I reached for Brendan and pulled him close. "Where did you go?"

"I'm right here," he said, bemused.

"Oh. I'm glad. I like your face." I touched his hand. "And your hands."

He arched his eyebrows. "Thank you. I like your face, too." His fingers closed around mine. Everything was going to be okay.

"I just remembered. You have to help me fix everything."

"Fix what?"

"The blight. You and Drake have to stop hating me and each other, or everyone will die. Promise you'll help me."

"I promise."

I felt sleepy and yawned. "Vix said I had to pass it on."

"Pass what on?"

I kissed him. "You taste like summer."

"And you taste like trouble." But his eyes sparkled with humour.

"I am trouble. I did something bad."

"We've all done bad things."

I blinked. "Bekind told me it was Donella's idea, what you did to Sadler's wife. So, it wasn't even your fault."

"No," Brendan said softly. "That was all my fault. Never forget it."

"Yeah, well, I did lots of somethings bad. But I did them for Scarlet. Does that make it better?"

"When are you going to start doing things for yourself?"

I sat up. "Anya says... she said that everyone here turns bad without something to anchor them."

"Stop listening to what other people say."

My stomach was turning again. "But what if it's true?"

He made me lie down again. "Don't you remember? We agreed to keep each other's feet on the ground. You have nothing to worry about."

Sighing, I traced the scar on his forehead then held him still while I kissed him. The world spun again, but this time I liked it.

He broke away. "Go to sleep, Cara."

I could barely keep my eyes open. "Fine. Go get a lap dance off your new best friend."

"Foolish girl," Brendan whispered, pulling the blanket up to my chin. The last sound I heard was his laughter.

***

I woke up with a fright, unable to figure out where I was. I sat up slowly because the room was spinning. Something was on the tip of my tongue, something I was supposed to remember. There was water on the bedside table, and I drank heavily. I ate some grapes and felt different. Not better. Just different. I was in somebody else's room, but I was fully dressed. I searched for clues and found Brendan's clothes. I vaguely remembered speaking to him. Snatches of memories returned, but my head was too hazy to figure them out.

My ankle hurt, I realised, and I saw that it had been wrapped in a bandage. I lifted my leg and twisted my foot. There was a pain, but it was numb and distant, and I couldn't bring myself to care. I left the room, expecting to walk into a soldier. The hall was empty—no, not completely empty.

Voices came from close by. Limping, I followed the sound until I saw Brendan and Drake playing a form of chess in an alcove. The alcoves, once empty, had been prettied up. There were paintings on the walls, I noticed, reaching up to touch them as I passed. The men stopped speaking as I neared. I was too entranced by the images to pay them any mind. Places I had never seen, faces I didn't know—so many stories must have lain behind the pictures.

That reminded me of something, and I stopped, frowning, trying to figure it out. But it was gone, just like every other thought that flitted in and out of my brain. That wasn't right, but it was hard to worry when a smooth, warm feeling engulfed my entire body.

I reached the alcove and brushed against Drake. He held my arm. I thought he was looking at the bracelet, but he brushed his lips against the black veins that had reached my wrist.

"What have we done to you?" he murmured, agony in his gaze.

"Don't touch her," Brendan said sharply. "It's worse when you touch her skin."

I pulled out of Drake's grasp and moved to Brendan. He looked anywhere but right at me. I sat on his lap to spite him.

"Who's winning?" I demanded.

"The queen," Brendan said, and I heard the smile in his voice.

"That's wrong then," I said. "Didn't you know? The queens always lose here."

"Trust me when I tell you the kings aren't winning," he said so quietly that I barely heard him.

"At least you aren't killing each other," I murmured.

"For now."

I met Drake's eyes with a venomous glare.

"Don't look at me like that," he pleaded.

Ignoring him, I held up my hand and stretched my fingers. The black diamond on my ring finger didn't shine. It looked matte.

"Isn't it weird?" I said, laughing when I wanted to cry. "Sadler gave me this because I made him remember the rules. What a strange little man he is. It's so heavy, but I can't take it off."

"Why?" Brendan asked. "Why are you still wearing it?"

"If I take it off, I might forget."

He looked down at me. "What will you forget?"

His face blurred in front of my eyes. I tried to touch him, but he brushed my hand away.

"Is this a dream?"

"You drank too much wine," Brendan said.

"Why did you drink so much?" Drake asked accusingly.

"I drank more the first time. I drank a whole cup back then."

"I remember," he said. "And you weren't like this."

"Her guard didn't see her drink that much," Brendan said slowly. "He mentioned the idea that something else was in the wine, but I thought he was just protecting her."

Drake's wings fluttered. "If that's true..." He said something I didn't hear.

I blinked at him. He was so pretty that I smiled. "Your wings," I said triumphantly. "You're not hiding them."

He exchanged a weary look with Brendan. "It's not wearing off."

"Soon," Brendan said. "She needs more sleep."

His fingers on my waist burned though my clothes and into my skin. I sighed and relaxed. I liked the wine. It made everything come to the surface.

Drake stood, his eyes sparking with anger. "I'll take her back. In the morning, it'll be over."

"Where's Rumble?" I demanded. "What did you do to Rumble? He's supposed to keep me safe. When they force me to marry, I'm going to marry him."

"You are safe," Brendan said, pushing me off his lap. "Rumble's keeping them all away."

"Who?" I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You feel too much," Brendan said. "It'll be over in the morning."

I brushed the pieces off the board. "Nobody makes sense anymore."

"Is it just me, or is it getting worse?" Drake asked.

Brendan's eyes were dilating again. "You're right. Did you drink more wine, Cara?"

"There's no wine anywhere. Stop talking about the wine. I drank the water and ate the grapes."

Brendan froze. "What grapes?"

"The ones next to the water."

Brendan looked at Drake. "I saw none."

"Perhaps she's dreaming. If not, who could have put them there?"

"One of yours or hers."

"Or yours," Drake said. "It wouldn't be the first time you tried to trick her."

Brendan winced. "Don't. I wouldn't hurt her. I learned."

"We both know the truth though, don't we?" Drake took my hand. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" I looked over my shoulder. Brendan was far away already. Something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out what. Drake squeezed my fingers.

We walked for a long time, but everything looked the same. Drake's hands were warm. The warmth spread from my fingers up my arms and all through my body. I tripped, and he held me up, his gaze firmly set on me.

"Drake," I said, seeing violet eyes instead of emerald green. "You're back."

Then we were in another alcove, a darker one, and Drake's lips were against my neck. He held me tight, and I couldn't breathe.

"What's happening?" I asked in a small voice. Something was wrong. Something was not right.

"Quiet," he whispered. "They'll know." When he looked at me, his eyes were glazed over, just like the first time we kissed.

I kissed him back. He would save me. He would get me outside before the smiling faery killed me. I just had to stop eating the apples.

Apples? My hands clutched at him, and he pressed me against the wall, murmuring against my lips.

We were in Brendan's bed, in a pocket of magic in the human realm, and everything was perfect. But no, that wasn't right. We were on the way to the Fade to find Brendan, and Drake was almost mine again. He gasped against me. But didn't Brendan come home from the Fade?

We were on horseback, rushing to safety, and Drake was telling me he loved me; he would always love me. Then he used my true name to send me away.

I let out a sharp cry and pushed him away. Drake grabbed me fiercely, his fingers ripping my bodice as he ran his tongue across my breasts. What was it I had to remember?

He married Sorcha. He was married. We had a daughter that he didn't call his own. And I didn't love him.

"No," I murmured. "This isn't a dream."

And even if it was, I didn't want the snatches of stolen affection he could give me. Time fast-forwarded in my mind as memories raced. Brendan and Drake and I. I had left, and then I'd come back and changed everything. I couldn't go back again—not to a time of feeling inadequate. I needed to feel good enough.

He pressed his lips against mine, his tongue forcing its way into his mouth. Sorcha.

I bit him until he let me go. "Stop it! She loves you," I gasped. "And I don't." I pushed him aside and ran from him. I looked back and saw Deorad's face, heard Sadler's voice. With a cry of fear, I raced around the corner and right into Brendan.

"Sadler's going to kill me," I whispered. "We have to run!"

"Sadler's dead." He held my face in his hands. "He's dead, Cara."

"I knew that." I held on to him, shaking, as clarity broke through the madness. "What's happening to me?"

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe there really was something in your wine."

"Poison?"

"No. Something else."

"I have to go home," I said weakly. "I don't belong here, and I need to go home."

"Okay," Brendan said. "I'll take you home."

I hadn't known I was crying until he brushed the tears away. His eyes were glazed, but he looked sad, pitying even.

"I'm scared."

"I know." He held on to me.

"Am I affecting everyone?"

"Yes, but it's not your fault."

"Then why are you acting normal?"

"Trust me, I don't feel normal. Besides," he said with a laugh, "I've had a lot of practice. Come on. Let's get you home."

We walked and walked and walked, and all the while, whispers and apparitions spun around me.

I held on tight to Brendan's hand. "Please be real," I whispered.

"I'm real. I'm here. It's almost over. Just a little while more."

We stepped over broken chess pieces, and I found it easier to breathe.

Slowly, the shadows and the voices faded, and he didn't need to help me walk anymore.

"Brendan," I said in a small voice. "I'm so sorry."

"Everything's okay," he said soothingly. "Your mind is getting clearer. It's easier to be around you now."

"I thought... I was back in the past."

"I felt it, too. It was a cruel trick. It wasn't Drake's fault. He was wrapped up in the magic, too."

"You always protect him." I looked up. "And me."

"Don't worry about that now."

I held on to him and focused on taking one step at a time, shielding my mind against everything else. Then we were before a door I recognised.

"Home," Brendan said. "Go on in."

"You aren't coming?"

"You don't need me anymore. Scarlet's waiting for you. Everyone is waiting for you. You won't hurt them now. Go in and get some sleep, and everything will be fine in the morning."

I slipped my arms around his neck and gazed at him.

"Go." His voice sounded hoarse.

I let go and faced the door, hesitating, but his hand on my back pushed me forward. I remembered a lot of things all of a sudden.

I looked back at him, my hand on the doorknob. "If you get married, I'll still be your friend even if you can't be mine."

I slipped inside my bedroom and closed the door on him. My room was full. Grim, Realtín, Anya, and Líle were all asleep in there. I crept into bed beside my daughter and soon fell asleep, but a horrible feeling in my chest warned me that the trouble was only starting.

Chapter Twelve

Scarlet pinched my nose and woke me. I sat up with a gasp, trying to figure out where my nightmare began and ended.

The sharp pain in my temple sent me back down, groaning. "Ow. Ow. Ow."

Scarlet launched herself onto my belly. Moaning, I sat up and gave her the attention she so desperately wanted. And that was when I noticed some of my friends gathered around the end of the bed, looking at me as if waiting for something.

"What?" I asked.

Anya and Líle exchanged relieved glances.

"How are you feeling?" Bekind asked, Realtín sitting on her shoulder.

I gingerly touched my temples. "I have a raging headache. What the hell happened last night?"

"We thought you might know," Anya said. "Things got a little wild, and we think it might have been because of you."

"Either that or your Darksiders really know how to throw a party," Líle said. "I mean, wow."

Realtín burst out laughing. "Everyone thinks Cara's the one who had a good time."

I honestly couldn't remember. There were blurs and flashes but no concrete memories.

"My mouth is dry, and I need a bath. Then we can talk." I got up and almost fell over. "Shit. What did I do to my ankle?"

"We have no idea." Líle bit her lip as though trying not to laugh.

"Nobody saw you for most of the night," Bekind said. "And then suddenly we were all ordered to stay away from you. We certainly felt your presence, and both kings mysteriously went missing, too. There will be rumours about this."

"Biiiiig rumours," Realtín said, and a giggle finally escaped Líle's lips.

"Did I ruin everything?" What the hell was wrong with me? I knew the entire night had been as important as the ceremony.

"You didn't ruin anything," Anya said carefully. "But you were very... influential."

"She should know." Realtín hovered over Anya's head. "I saw her and Arlen sneaking out to the stables together like human teenagers."

Anya tried in vain to grab Realtín out of the air.

I groaned. "I don't even want to know what happened. Has Scarlet eaten yet?"

"It's noon," Realtín scoffed from on top of a wall lamp. "She's about to have some lunch."

"I missed her breakfast? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I tried. You threatened to behead me with a bread knife."

Líle broke down completely, her eyes streaming with tears as guffaws wracked her body.

Ignoring her, I tried to run my hands through my hair, but it was still full of pins. "I should have a bath before someone sees me like this. Do I look like shit?"

Realtín opened her mouth to answer.

I held up my hand. "Never mind." I kissed Scarlet and left to have a bath.

Orlaith was standing outside the door and accompanied me. Usually, she chatted because she was a morning person, but as we walked, she kept her mouth shut and avoided my eyes.

"Oh, stop thinking about it," I snapped. "Nothing happened." Stupid, gossipy fae.

She stuttered a response, but I went into the room and slammed the door in her face. Stupid, reckless human, more like.

I bathed alone and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. I didn't feel hungover. I did have a kicker of a headache. Why would I have let myself get so drunk? I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to concentrate. I remembered Anya taking care of Scarlet in my room. I remembered going back to the party. And I remembered a lavender-haired woman who planned on marrying Brendan. Snatches of other memories came back, but I wasn't sure what parts were dreams and what were reality.

A polite knock on the door drew my attention. A faery, accompanied by Orlaith, offered clean clothes and help with my hair. I sent both of them packing to give me more time to think, but it was no use. There were empty spaces in my memories.

I headed back to my room, wondering where the hell Rumble was hiding. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to look. Drake approached, his fingers twitching with anxiety. I gazed at him, wondering why he looked so solemn.

"Wait a second," I blurted. "Did I see your wings last night?"

He nodded, his cheeks awash with colour. "Brendan wants us to meet right now. May I walk you down?"

I hesitated. Why was he being so awkward? "Okay."

"I've just been to your room looking for you," he said, avoiding my eyes. "The others are watching over Scarlet for you—don't worry."

We walked down the hallway, staying a couple of inches apart. "Cara, wait."

I stopped in surprise. He was the old Drake all of a sudden, the old, earnest, good Drake. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry about last night. I don't know what you remember, but..."

The words fell away as it hit me. We had kissed, and I had told him I didn't love him. And he had been... unpleasant. My hand flew to my mouth as more memories returned. I had basically brought the entire castle on a bad trip. "What the hell happened last night?"

"Perhaps it was the ceremony. Perhaps there's more of the fae in you than we thought."

"What do you mean?"

"We felt... something, and you were gone, so we went looking for you. When Brendan found you, you were... overly emotional and projecting it strongly."

"I've gotten that much from Realtín," I said wryly.

He cleared his throat. "We separated you from everyone else in an attempt to stop... incidents, but I... was affected. I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting it. I've done my best not to feel anything for a long time, and your emotion was... too much. It manifested badly within me, and I have to apologise to you for the way I behaved. If Brendan hadn't been there... you have to understand. That's not me. I would never... I never intended to—"

"Oh, God, please stop talking about it. I feel bad enough as it is." The back of my neck prickled. "I'm sorry I made everyone... uncomfortable."

A flash of mischief brightened his eyes. "As far as I'm aware, nobody has complained."

"Except you."

"Nothing ever follows the plan, does it?" His expression changed instantly. "I have to admit I held on to the hope that you would understand me, Cara. I thought we knew each other; I thought you would forgive me for the things I did or at least understand it was all part of a larger plan. I didn't expect it to come to this. If I had known how everything would turn out, I might have..." He shook his head, a pained look in his eyes.

"We never really knew each other though, did we?" I said gently. "It was a flash of attraction in the heat of the moment." I saw everything with older—maybe even wiser—eyes.

"It was more than just a flash," he whispered.

"But we had barely met when Brendan's soul was pushed into your body. It was already confusing, and between the three of us, we made it so much more complicated. I was pulled from one of you to the other without really knowing either of you. I just mean... we didn't get the chance to learn how to understand each other. If we'd had more time, or..." I bit my lip. "Well, other things have always gotten in the way, haven't they? And if you ever understood me, you would have known that some actions go too far."

"Like marriage?" he asked bitterly.

"For one. I know you never promised me anything, but I couldn't help viewing your marriage to Sorcha as a betrayal."

"And Brendan was always there to butter you up," he said bitterly.

"Don't do that," I said. "It's small and nasty and doesn't suit you. Brendan's never hurt me."

"That's because he's the great king Brendan, making the rest of us look bad." He tried to pull off a joke, but it just sounded pathetic to me.

I made a sound of frustration. "There you go again! It's time to take responsibility for your own actions, Drake. You chose to send me away, you chose to marry Sorcha, and you're choosing to act like a stranger to Scarlet. You hurt me. It has nothing to do with Brendan, but if we're bringing him into it, he has always cared about you and done what he could to protect you."

"No, he's always come between us."

"Unless I bloody well married him behind your back, then it doesn't compare. How would you have felt if you gave me your heart and then, without any warning, discovered I had married someone who hated you?"

"I was trying to protect you. I swear it."

"But you sent me away from my friends, and I felt like I was being punished for something I didn't know I had done. Seeing you with Sorcha was you sticking the knife in, and the way you acted around Scarlet just twisted that blade. A part of me will always remember how you made me feel. The bad times started to outweigh the good a long time ago."

"I don't know how to be around her." He looked agitated. "She's a beautiful child, and my favour could harm her. You would never forgive me then, would you?"

I stared at him, unwavering. The brittle part of me couldn't soften for him. Not anymore.

"I don't know how to be a father. Not to her."

"But you'll be one for your real family." It was my turn to sound bitter and resentful. "With Sorcha."

"You don't know what I've sacrificed for you and Scarlet. You don't know the things I've done to protect you." He reached for me then dropped his arm. "I didn't lie when I told you I would always love you, but it's dangerous for me to show affection to anyone."

Tears rose in my eyes. "You have a wife who actually loves you despite it all. She knows everything, and she's still capable of loving you. That's not me. I can't be that person. I can't forgive or forget. I grew up with a father who made me feel like nothing I ever did was good enough. I'm old enough to stop letting people make me feel that way."

"If I hadn't married her," he whispered, "what would have happened between us?"

Brendan's smile flashed before my eyes, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. "I honestly don't know. Nothing ever happens the way I think it will."

"This is life," he said sardonically.

"Brendan will be waiting for us. This is it now. We have work to do, right?"

"Right." He looked at me searchingly. "Maybe when this is all over, we can be friends again."

"Of course." But I didn't really mean it. I followed him down to the study.

Brendan was poring over an ancient-looking book. When he heard us enter, he looked at one of us then the other. "Everything all right now?"

I smiled. "Looks like."

"Good," he said briskly, "because we have a lot to talk about. The realm is dying, and the only hope we have is to work together." His lips twitched as he caught my eye. "Well, I did promise."

"Shouldn't we talk about what happened?" I asked.

"Last night?" Brendan glanced at Drake. "I don't think—"

"No, I mean about... the day I killed Sadler."

Both men let out a hiss.

"I just don't think it's a good idea to let the bad feeling fester," I continued. "And if—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Drake said.

"Of course you don't," Brendan muttered under his breath.

"At least I had a plan," Drake snapped. "You wasted how long trying to convince us that we could make peace with Sadler?"

Oh, God. Why had I opened my mouth?

"Yes, I remember your plan," Brendan said nastily. "The one where you steal even more of my realm from me."

Drake said, "Some of us take what we earn; some of us try to live on the good old days. How's that working for you, Brendan?" The two men squared off.

I got between them before they could come to blows. "Enough, the pair of you." I laid a hand on each of their chests. "This isn't what I meant. Brendan, I'm the one who stole the Darkside, not Drake, so take it out on me." I glared at Drake. "And if you don't realise that you have what you have because Brendan is letting you keep it, then I pity your stupidity."

They bristled, but I wasn't done yet. "This blight is bigger than us—bigger than anything we've ever imagined. It's destroying everything. The Great Forest is the heart of the realm, and it's dying. The taint is even in the human realm. We're running out of time, and the longer we spend bitching, the quicker this disease wins. What happened with Sadler was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened, but it did, and we can deal with it properly after we save the people depending on us." I met Brendan's gaze. "Are you with me?"

He nodded, but the expression in his eyes made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

I turned my back on him and faced Drake. "Are you with us?"

He looked from me to Brendan and back again. "Yes," he said hoarsely. "I'm with you both."

***

I traced my hand across the map in wonder. "This is everything? This is the entire realm?" It was much larger than I had ever expected.

"This is our world." Brendan moved my hand aside. "This area was the first to succumb to the Darkside's spread."

I studied the markers on the map. "So, it's not actually spreading. It's jumping around almost. Scattering. How does that make sense?"

"It doesn't," Drake said. "And people are terrified."

"Can't say I'm feeling too brave either." I tapped the section of the map that marked the Darkside. "There's a sinkhole in this direction, I think. Líle and Grim have both seen it. If that happens under this castle, then we're all screwed. And another could occur anywhere. I mean, we had no warning."

"That would be a disaster," Drake said. "We've already lost plenty of fertile land to this darkness in my territory."

The randomness was what I couldn't figure out. There were gaps between the marked areas. "It's like a disease, but the spread isn't natural. Maybe it was before, but I've heard about the way Sadler worked. When he needed to get someone out of the way, their land miraculously succumbed to the blight almost overnight."

"But Sadler's dead," Brendan said.

"His god isn't." I sighed. "And I ruined that god's deal with Sadler. Maybe this is his vengeance."

"It's a possibility," Brendan said. "But the fact is we played with nature when I escaped from the Fade. It's likely we stretched the rift and caused more problems."

"But if a god is interfering, we need to find out how to stop him. In the meantime, we must find a way to seal the rift and then find a way to remove the blight," I said slowly. "And there might be a tree that could cleanse the land."

"A tree that might no longer exist," Drake reminded me.

"The Guardian of the Forest should know," I said. "We have to do something. And the Watcher could help us with the rift. He knew more than we thought he did, I think."

"Agreed," Drake said. "So, which problem is more urgent?"

"We can't waste time," I said. "We could split up and deal with both matters separately, but one could lead us to the other."

"What do you mean?" Brendan asked.

"Maybe this is exactly what happened before. Why else would a tree be capable of cleaning up this mess? Whatever the Watcher tells us could lead us back to the Guardian and vice versa."

"The Watcher is closest," Brendan said. "At the very least, we could send a party to search for the tree. Best-case scenario is that the tree is already cleansing the earth by the time we fix the rift, and that we're wrong about a god's interference. If we're lucky, the blight was caused by the rift rather than a god."

He and I exchanged a knowing glance. We had never been that lucky.

"Can any of us afford to leave our lands while we go on what could be a wild goose chase?" Drake asked.

I looked at him. "Do we have any choice? We won't have any land left if we let this go on for much longer." And I needed a solution before someone figured out exactly what Scarlet was capable of and decided to sacrifice her to some god in an attempt to clean the land. "I'm going. With or without you both."

"She's right," Brendan said. "And perhaps Cara is safer away from the courts."

"Why?" I demanded. "My court isn't dangerous."

"Somebody tried to harm you last night. Drake and I are agreed on that. Perhaps 'harm' is a strong word, but you were certainly sabotaged. You weren't in control of yourself, and the instability of your emotions affected all of us."

"I just drank too much wine."

He looked as though he might explode. "Anyone could have hurt you last night. Would you even remember now? Emotional instability is dangerous for anyone, but more so for someone in your position. And as we don't know where the perpetrator came from, you might be safer on a journey through the realm."

"And while we're gone?" Drake asked. "Who will control in our stead? Who will make sure our people are fed?"

Brendan nodded at me. "How are yours surviving?"

"We've been using the human realm," I admitted. "We've bought some farmland and sent farmers to take care of it."

"Bought it with what?" Drake asked.

"Anything that has value in the human realm. We've used gold and gems and managed to exchange them"—I shrugged—"with the help of a little magic. In a year, we might have some results. We've brought soil across, too, in case we can do something with it here. We haven't found a way to make it work yet, but we're not giving up."

"What about short-term options?" Brendan asked.

"We're buying food, too. It's been tougher than you'd expect actually. But if you need to trade, our doors are open."

"I'm impressed," Brendan said.

I tried not to look as pleased as I felt. "I have enough advisers running around this court that they won't even miss me here. My problem is Scarlet."

"Take her with you," Brendan said immediately. "If we succeed, she'll always be remembered for taking part."

"And if I put her in danger?"

"Then we send her back to the human realm for a time." He looked at Drake. "What do you think?"

"I think the Darksiders won't be pleased to lose their heir, but they may understand how necessary it is to keep mother with daughter. I think the child should travel with us." He gave me an odd look. "It may be more distracting to constantly wonder if she's safe at home."

"I'm not sure I want her so close to the Fade. Or here, if there could be blight-related disasters. At least, if anything happens to me, there's still Scarlet as long as she's safe. Can I name someone as her guardian in case of my death?"

Drake and Brendan exchanged a glance.

"It's an option," Brendan said.

"Then I choose Bekind and Grim," I said, and they both looked surprised.

"You'll need to make some kind of official document," Drake said abruptly. "If we're done with the preliminary discussion, I'll go fetch the others. Who do you want here?"

Brendan and I gave him some names, and then he was gone.

"Bekind's an immortal relative, so I understand that, but why Grim?" Brendan asked when we were alone.

"Because I trust him."

"Can I ask you a question?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes."

"Do you feel safe around me?"

I frowned. "Of course I do."

"You trust me with your life but not your heart."

And that heart stammered in my chest. "What do you mean?"

He stretched out in the chair. "Scarlet. You don't trust me with her."

Oh. "Maybe I chose Grim because if I'm dead on this trip, it probably means you are, too."

"Clever answer," he said with a grin.

"Me, clever? I'm just a human. Listen, I'm sorry about last night. How I behaved and... you having to take care of me... again."

"It wasn't your fault. It was a devious twist of magic that affected you badly. No need for apologies."

I moved into the seat next to him and faced him. "I'm still not sure what was real."

He patted my hand. "Then don't think about it. Nobody else batted an eyelid."

"You had to keep everyone away from me."

"Just in case. It was merely a precaution."

I looked away, mortified. "Realtín reckons there are rumours about what happened. Why all the royals vanished and stuff."

His laugh was warm and reassuring. "Oh, Cara. There have always been rumours about us three. I don't worry about it, so why should you? The fae will be speaking about this celebration for years because they had a great time. The gossip is just an added bonus."

"You didn't have a great time. You had to babysit the idiot again."

He laughed. "I had an interesting evening. I always think I know what you're capable of, and then you go and surprise me again."

"Speaking of last night, have you seen my bodyguard anywhere? I didn't get him killed or anything, right?"

"The one you call Rumble." He grinned. "According to you, he's a strong candidate for your future marriage."

I covered my face with my hands. "Oh, God. What have I done?"

"Don't worry. You didn't embarrass him to his face. He was concerned, so he stayed away from you. Which is good because he might have taken Drake's head if he had been present. Nobody's as tolerant as me anymore."

"Stop joking about last night."

He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed, a delighted look on his face. "You look so uncomfortable. It's highly amusing."

I moved out of his reach. "And you look entirely too comfortable with the situation. Anyway, Rumble's not like everyone else. When Sadler almost killed my baby, Rumble was able to hold me when nobody else could stand up straight. He was fine."

Brendan leaned toward me, finally getting serious. "This was different, which is why I'm concerned. And I am concerned, Cara. If someone in this court is trying to destroy you, you have to find out who before it's too late."

"I don't think it's someone from this court."

He frowned. "Why do I sense that I'm about to hear information I won't like?"

"Because I'm about to tell you information you won't like?" I grinned at his pissed-off expression. "It's not that big of a deal. There was an attempt on my life outside the castle. We dealt with it, but nobody present was familiar with any of the attackers. They were warriors, though."

His jaw clenched. "Was anyone hurt?"

"I lost a scout. We got all of the attackers."

"We?"

I kept my expression blank.

"This isn't good." He ran his hands across his face. "At least this Rumble person seems to be a decent soldier—a decent man, even. I believe he would never harm you, nor even give himself a chance to do it unwillingly."

I felt sad. "I haven't seen him all day."

"He's watching at a distance," he said matter-of-factly. "Just in case."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. He's lingering somewhere outside as we speak." He grinned. "Your face has gotten quite red. It's annoying being disobeyed, isn't it?"

I made a face at him then skipped out of the room and shouted Rumble's name as loudly as I could. He came around the corner, looking sheepish even with the helmet on.

I met him halfway and hugged him. "I'm sorry I scared you, but you don't have to avoid me."

He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. I let him go and tutted.

"There are lines that can't be crossed. Last night threatened to overcome me."

"It won't happen again," I said.

"Next time I'll be more vigilant."

"It was an accident. With everything that was going on, something messed up the air. That's all. Maybe it was the music or the dancing." I smiled. "Or a bad glass of wine."

"That's the problem. There were so many opportunities for people to interfere. We forget how vulnerable you are because you're strong. Next time, I'll be more aware. But I do remember it was Bart who handed you that glass of wine."

Fear curled in my gut. "He wouldn't hurt me. He helped me."

"I don't trust him."

"I'll confront him about the wine. Come on then. We're still having a meeting."

"I'll wait outside."

I knew he didn't want to get close to me, so I let it go. "I'll talk to you soon."

I rejoined Brendan.

"You found him?" he said, looking up from the book he was reading.

I flopped into the chair next to him. "He's totally scared of me now."

"It's understandable. You were particularly... influential last night." He smiled. "How is your ankle?"

"Sore. What did I do to it?"

"Fell over." He raised his brows. "Did you really forget so much?"

"It's a blur." I peeked at him shyly. "Most of it is a blur. I remember you helping me, and I should probably apologise for being, um, pushy."

He threw back his head and laughed. "She calls it pushy. Ah, Cara, I had forgotten how much I—"

The door opened, and he stopped abruptly as the others filed in. Vix handed Scarlet to me, looking distasteful. "She doesn't like me. She keeps crying."

I looked at Scarlet in surprise. She snuggled against my chest, avoiding looking at anyone else in the room. That wasn't like her.

"It's just her age," I said at last. "She's making strange with people. That's normal."

The room was soon full of people trying really hard not to look me in the eye or make any reference to the night before.

"All right, enough," I said at last. "Yes, last night some kind of magic screwed up my brain and everything else, and yes, the rest of you bore the brunt of it. Can we please get past that now and move on to what's important?"

Brendan rose to his feet. "We're going to need to leave soon, and arrangements will have to be made."

He and Drake quickly explained what we had agreed on.

"Why not send a delegation?" Fiadh asked. "Why do you all need to travel together?"

"The realm needs to act as one," I said. "And we don't know what we'll be facing. This could take a few weeks or even months. But if we don't act, we'll be ruined. We've had enough bad luck. It's time to deal with the Darkside problem. It's time to heal the rift and cleanse the land."

And when I said those words, far too many people in the room looked to my daughter.

Chapter Thirteen

My advisers were not happy with me. We sat around the meeting table, going over the same points again and again.

I rubbed my temples. "I'm going to the Great Forest, not another planet. I won't be long." The sullen expressions didn't change. "For the love of—would you rather I let you die?"

"And what happens to us if you die?" Rafe asked.

"Then Grim and Bekind will become Scarlet's guardians and help you all take care of the Darkside until Scarlet is old enough."

"The brownie?" Vix sounded horrified.

"Yes. I'm the human. He's the brownie. Have we all caught up?"

"What if it's a trap of some kind?" Fiadh asked. "A way for the other kings to come and take Scarlet or the throne while you're not around to stop them."

"That's the last thing on anyone's minds right now," I said. "The land is dying. Rapidly. We have a chance to stop it. Coveting each other's crowns won't mean much when there's no realm."

Rumble agreed. "The blight affects the Silver and Green courts, too. It's not just our problem anymore. The rulers must be seen to take charge and do something to stop the spread."

"Finally, somebody gets it," I said.

"Perhaps we should be appeasing the gods," Thistle said.

"What, with sacrifices or deals that raise the dead?" I shook my head. "We can't afford the price tag. This is our best option. I can outrun anything on Dubh, and do you really doubt Rumble's abilities?"

"No, but—"

I held up my hand to stop Vix. "This has to be done. We have to find a way to stop the spread of the blight."

"But why should you be the one to go?" Fiadh asked. "It's dangerous out there."

"Because I might have caused it. And I'm the only one who's seen the Guardian of the Forest. I have to go. Besides, it's not so dangerous anymore."

"There are still enemies out there," Fiadh said. "Nature is against us, for one. You could fall into a sinkhole yourself. And there will always be people who want you dead. Sadler's death didn't stop that. You know this. You barely escaped an attack already."

"I wasn't in that much danger," I said lightly.

"But there are obviously those who want what you have, and what the kings have, too. There are those creatures who are so twisted and demented that they don't even know what they fight for. And there is old magic that doesn't obey what a ruler might say. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it's safe out there."

I tried not to shiver. "There'll be six of us. That's not enough to draw attention to ourselves, but it's enough to defend ourselves if we do get into trouble. I'm not as helpless as everyone likes to imagine, you know." I hesitated. "But I'm worried that something will happen while I'm gone—something that will damage the integrity of the castle. In light of that, I propose we send Scarlet and the other children to the human realm for a while."

"Nobody's going to agree to that," Vix scoffed.

"I will," Fiadh said. "If something should befall the adults, at least the children will be saved."

"But the human realm?" Thistle said doubtfully.

"We can do what Brendan did," I said. "Take over an empty house and cover it with protective magic. We can do that, right?"

"A glamour?" Fiadh nodded. "That would do."

"All right, then. Most of the children will be taken to homes in the human realm. Half of the court is in and out of the human realm as it is. It won't be hard to have everyone else ready to move if disaster strikes." I looked at Fiadh. "I'm sending Scarlet back to my grandparents. It's easy to secure the way there if someone goes after her. Dymphna's already agreed to send Eithne. There's not much room, but Setanta can go with them, too, if you want."

"I'm happy with that plan," Fiadh said.

"Vix, Orlaith, Líle, and Bekind will be with them."

"Me?" Vix complained. "I should be coming with you."

"I need you with Scarlet." I gave her a meaningful look.

"Conn can accompany them," Fiadh said.

I shook my head. "You'll need him. Be prepared to evacuate if anything does go wrong. I need you all to take care of things while I'm gone. And if something happens to me, look to Bekind. She'll know what to do next. But I'm coming back. As soon as we figure out the next step to make, I'll be here. In the meantime, just lock down everything and try to keep things going." I tried to smile. "And be prepared to celebrate when I get back."

All I got were doubtful looks. After another fruitless discussion, I dismissed everyone. Bart remained in his chair.

"You weren't very talkative," I said, sitting across from him.

"I wouldn't want to be seen as too influential. That's what earns you enemies around here."

"Is it?" I sighed. Being queen was so complicated.

"I believe you wanted to speak to me."

"Oh?"

"Every time your gaze falls on me, you get this look in your eyes. As though you're wondering about something." He stretched his arms out. "So. Here I am."

He wasn't wrong. "What's your take on what happened on the night of the ceremony?"

The corner of his mouth curled upward. "My take? I believe somebody tried to make a fool of you. Or perhaps they wanted to see what you're made of. Either way, I don't believe they succeeded."

I stared at him in surprise.

Bart threw back his head and laughed. "You don't really think that's all you're capable of, do you? Not now that you have the power of a court behind you."

"Did you want to know what I'm capable of, Bart?"

He sobered and leaned forward, his palms lying on the table. The backs of his hands were covered in fresh scratches. "I'm desperate to know what you're capable of. But that isn't the way I would find out." He reached across the table, inches away from touching my hand. "And you've been kind to me. I don't think I'd like to make a fool of you either."

"You gave me a glass of wine, and now people think that you put something in it."

"They are beyond foolish when it comes to the things they don't understand." He leaned back in his chair. "They think of me when anything goes wrong. It wasn't me. I didn't interfere with your glass."

"Then who did?"

"Who says it was your wine?" He lifted his shoulders in shrug. "The fae are imaginative, my dear queen. But if you're looking to blame anyone, look elsewhere."

On a whim, I asked, "Why were you arguing with the glaistig?"

A flicker of surprise crossed his face but was gone just as quickly. "She planned on leaving that night. I told her it was a bad time."

"She's gone? Could she have done it?"

"She is gone, and she could have done it, but perhaps she just didn't like the company."

"I didn't realise you two were friendly."

"Friendly?" He sighed. "No, not friendly. But sometimes it's better to deal with the devil you know."

"As opposed to?"

"The devil you only know by reputation." He smiled. "I will personally look into this on your behalf if only to clear my own name."

"I'm not going to blame you without proof."

"I know." He cocked his head to the side. "I can't tell if that's noble or just plain foolish."

***

Scarlet was crying, and the entire court was in an uproar.

"I can't leave yet," I snapped at Drake when he asked for the umpteenth time. "Scarlet's sick."

"Children often get sick," Drake said. "We still need to leave as soon as possible. We agreed."

"Well, I can't! So you're going to have to wait."

He looked at me as though I were the most unreasonable person in the world, but I had never heard such a cry from Scarlet's mouth before. I hushed her as I held her close to me, terrified that she was somehow succumbing to the faery madness that humans were often vulnerable to.

Her cries grew high-pitched, and everyone in the room flinched. "I'm taking her upstairs," I said crossly. "Somebody watch out for the Miacha woman."

Tears rolled down Anya's face as she followed me upstairs. "I've never seen her like this before."

"Me either. She's... she'll be okay."

But Scarlet's anguished cries filled the castle, and the staff we passed as we swept up the stairs looked anguished themselves. Was she spreading her emotions outward, too? Was that why people were usually so much happier around her?

In my room, I paced up and down with Scarlet as fae kept coming to the door with ridiculous suggestions, such as putting a moss-covered stone under her pillow or making her drink the blood of various animals killed under a full moon.

"Everyone out!" I shouted at last, unable to take it anymore. "All of you. Leave us alone!"

And Scarlet kept crying. I couldn't console her. Her cheeks were flushed, and black locks of hair stuck to them. She was agitated and unsettled, and I couldn't soothe her. I felt like the worst mother in the world and utterly helpless.

"I would take it from you if I could," I told her. "I'd take it so you didn't have to feel this way."

She howled in my ear as I shushed her. She was exhausted. Her eyes were red-rimmed and sleepy, but whatever she was feeling kept her awake.

Sweat rolled down my back. Babies cried. Small children cried. It was usually nothing. But how would I know what was normal?

Servants kept bringing me things intended to soothe Scarlet, but none of them worked. And by the expressions on their faces, my anxiety was getting out of control. I tried to lock it down, to be cool and logical and emotionless, but that was my daughter crying in my arms. I couldn't do anything but panic and feel.

I heard a horse outside and moved to the window. The cool breeze dried the sweat on my brow. Brendan had just returned on Dubh. He must have been hunting. I wanted to scream at him for hunting while Scarlet was crying nonstop. There wasn't a rational bone left in my body.

I had to leave the faery realm. I had to take Scarlet to the human realm and get her to a real hospital. The blight would have to wait, and if Scarlet used magic in front of a human, I would figure out a solution later. I had waited too long.

I hurried to the door, desperate to find somebody to help me prepare to leave, but Brendan was standing there instead, his hand in the air, poised to knock.

"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I have to take her to a hospital. I have to bring her to a real doctor because I don't know how to fix her, and I don't trust anyone else to help."

He looked taken aback for an instant before ushering me back inside the room. "Calm down. Children get sick. It doesn't mean they need the hospital."

"You don't understand. She never gets sick! She never, ever, ever gets sick. Or cries. She just doesn't cry like this. And I've checked her for everything I can think of. She has no spots, no rash, no broken bones, no freakishly high temperature, nothing. She's just... crying, and I'm freaking out. I'm not prepared. She's not supposed to get sick. I got her vaccinated to stop that!"

He made an expression that I took for disgust.

"Don't judge me," I snapped, bouncing Scarlet in my arms. She was exhausted, half-asleep, but still distressed. "It stops kids from catching dangerous diseases."

"It doesn't prevent faery fever. And I'm not judging anyone anyway. Why do you always assume—"

"Shut up." I stopped moving. "What the freaking hell is faery fever?"

He held up his hands, his face creasing with regret. "It's not... it's probably not real."

"You said it. You wouldn't have said it if... just tell me!"

"There are old stories that say changelings and half-breeds would catch the faerie fever. And if they survived, they were strong and worth having. They became known as fae if they passed that hurdle."

"Why the fuck has nobody told me about this before?"

"Because it's a story. It hasn't happened in years. It may not even be real."

"Oh, my God," I whispered. "I did this. I protected her from human diseases, and then I brought her here and exposed her to faery germs!"

"Okay, you need to relax."

"I need to take her to a hospital."

"All right," he said. "But not until you calm down. What if your anxiety is making her feel worse? You have everyone in the castle wound up, and you'll do the same to the human doctors. And if they're wound up, they're not going to take good care of Scarlet, now, are they?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to see the sense in his words.

He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "You go and take a bath while I order the servants to prepare for the journey. I'll watch Scarlet, and if she isn't better by the time you're done, then I'll go with you."

"You will?"

"She's still my heir," he said in an odd sort of tone. He took Scarlet out of my hands. She was so tired that she barely noticed. But I was sticky with sweat and tears.

"Okay. I'll get cleaned up, and then we'll go."

"And calm down."

"Right. I'll calm down. I'm... I'm sorry."

"I'll have someone prepare everything," he said soothingly. "Just trust me."

I reached out to touch Scarlet then dropped my hand in case Brendan was right, and I was accidentally hurting my own daughter.

The bath helped. Being away from Scarlet's crying had... wait. I couldn't hear her crying. Inwardly freaking out, I quickly dried and dressed.

I hurried back to my room, but I couldn't hear Scarlet's cries any longer. I burst into the room, panicking, but I stopped short when I saw the scene before me.

My hand flew to my mouth to cover my smile. A giant faery king was asleep on top of my bed, a pink-cheeked toddler nestled against his chest. She snuffled in her sleep. I closed the door gently behind me and approached them. On the bedside locker, a sticky spoon lay next to a popular, human over-the-counter medicine for small children with temperature and pain. Scarlet had never needed it before, and it hadn't even occurred to me that something like that would help with such cries.

I pressed my hand against Scarlet's forehead. She was already cooler than before. Her ears were red tinged, and some discharge had come out of one ear canal. I sighed with relief. An ear infection. And now it was over, or at least, she was done crying. The worst part was I knew about such infections, but when they didn't happen to Scarlet, I forgot that they existed. And faced with a crying child who had never been sick, all logic had flown out the window. What an idiot I was.

Scarlet's lips moved in her sleep, and her tiny hands clutched Brendan's shirt. He smelled like grass and fresh air. I yawned, absolutely exhausted. I climbed onto the bed on the other side of Brendan and curled into his side. I fell asleep almost instantly.

Dawn was breaking when I awoke next to Scarlet. She giggled as she tugged on my hair to wake me. Brendan was nowhere to be seen. Gazing at my child, who showed no sign of the previous day's illness, I couldn't help giving a smile of relief.

***

I waited another day to make sure, but once I was convinced that Scarlet was okay, I took her, Eithne, and Setanta to my grandparents' house. Many of the children of the court had already been relocated, so that was a relief. Word had been sent ahead, so my family and Zoe knew to expect me.

As soon as I saw Zoe, I pulled her into a hug. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you, too. Hey, my little lovebug. How you've grown." She held Scarlet lovingly. "I heard you were sick, but you look all back to normal now."

"Yeah, she seems fine," I said. "I kind of panicked. Turns out it was just an ear infection."

"Poor thing." She looked at me. "I hear we have a full house. I'd love to stick around, but I'm back in college. I can chip in on the weekends, though, so don't worry."

"I'm not expecting you to."

She caught sight of the hounds. "What the hell are they?"

"Scarlet's bodyguards in training," I teased. "They were a gift, and they're too young to come with me, so I need them here to make sure they get fed. I don't want them going hunting and forgetting to come back."

"They look like freaking monster wolves in training. If I get bitten, you're a dead woman."

"They won't bite," I said impatiently. "I don't have much time. We're still organising exactly who gets to be in charge while I'm gone. Bekind will keep you updated, I'm sure."

"No Anya?"

I shook my head. "She can't keep giving up her life for us. Besides, she has a wedding to plan."

Zoe smiled. "Really?"

"Hopefully."

We spent the morning getting everyone settled in. "I have to check on the other children before I get back," I said regretfully. "I'll be home soon enough, honey." I kissed Scarlet then said my goodbyes. But I bade Bekind and Vix to walk me out for a private chat. Once we were alone, I asked, "How are we getting on with the recruitments?"

"Very well," Bekind said.

"Just remember," I said, "we need women who can be subtle, charming, and yet still capable of ripping out a man's throat if needs be."

"And can you be all that?" Vix asked.

I stared right back at her. "I'm capable of a lot of things, Vix."

"Are you certain this is what you want?" Bekind asked.

"It's necessary. I'm doing things so Scarlet doesn't have to. And you're immortal. You can take charge of this for as long as she needs, right?"

Bekind hesitated before nodding. "I will always stand by the two of you. You know that, Cara. But actions like this will change you."

"I have to change. If we're to survive, then I need to be the one to change. Have you found anyone with the knowledge to drug me?"

Vix shook her head. "Not the drug we're looking for."

"It's still not certain you were drugged," Bekind said softly. "It may have been a side effect of the ceremony."

"Or a desperate Darksider looking for another hit of your personal drug," Vix added.

"Or someone wondering how far they can push me. Just keep looking. For spies, for assassins... and most of all, for traitors."

Chapter Fourteen

Six of us left on horseback the following morning. I took Dubh and Rumble, Brendan brought Bran, and Dymphna volunteered to accompany Drake. Darksiders lined the road through the forest to salute us as we passed. I briefly wondered which one of them would be likeliest to stab me in the back.

Dubh was eager to run, so we indulged in some galloping away from the others until I remembered that Rumble's job was to keep up with me. When I rode back to the others, my cheeks felt hot, my heart raced, and my mind was clear of any cobwebs.

"You look happy," Dymphna said with a smile.

"I haven't done this in a while, not since somebody tried to shoot me with an arrow. Again. I've been cooped up for too long. Poor Dubh. He's missed this, too."

"And all it took was a blight," Brendan teased.

"I sometimes wonder if Sadler planned this to happen after his death," Drake said.

Brendan snorted. "It's more like something a scorned god would do."

"If that's right," I said slowly, thinking of Thistle's suggestion, "can't we just appeal to a stronger god for help?"

"Who would want to provoke a god like that?" Bran asked.

"Oh, brony," I teased. "Are you scared?"

"I'm too smart to be anything but scared," he said.

I laughed. The kid was sweet, and I was glad he was on the journey with us because everyone else was acting as though their mothers had just died.

We had decided to visit the Watcher first in case he had information on where to find the Guardian. Everyone was agreed that my meeting with the Guardian had been a lucky coincidence, and I wasn't entirely sure I could find him or the Watcher again. The kings were both fairly certain they could find the Watcher's underground tunnel, and Dubh was another sure bet, so I wasn't worried.

"Can we see the sinkhole?" Brendan asked.

"It wouldn't take long to detour," I said. "It's close to the castle. But I wouldn't want to hang around."

"I'd just like to see it."

Rumble led the way. He knew the land better than I did because I hadn't had much of a chance to explore. Most of my time in the Darkside had been spent hiding, running, or desperately trying to figure a way out. And yet, I had willingly come back. I definitely had issues.

But it felt good to be on Dubh's back and able to go wherever I liked without a gang of people watching me. The Darksiders could be intense sometimes. Rumble, on the other hand, had a knack of disappearing even when he was right next to me. He never crowded or bugged me. Drake was too concerned with his own thoughts to bother me, and Brendan had begun to treat me as though I were more on par with him. He had always been indulgent, but he had accepted that I was in charge of my own people even before I killed Sadler.

"Are we in danger in the Darkside?" Drake asked, interrupting my thoughts. "Are there still rebels running around?"

Rumble looked at him. "Aren't there any in your territory?"

Drake glared but didn't respond. Hiding my smile, I urged Dubh forward to ride next to Rumble. We moved out of earshot of the others.

"Don't let him get to you," I advised. "Thanks to Deorad and Sadler, the Darksiders scream enemy to him. He'll get over it someday."

"I don't care what he thinks," Rumble said.

I wondered if he thought about the fact that he and Drake shared the same father. "You don't have to wear the helmet all the time, you know."

He jerked in the saddle. "Perhaps I want to."

"All of the time? Sometimes, you might be more comfortable without it."

"But others might not."

"I thought you didn't care what other people thought."

"Not all other people." He glanced at me. "I don't want to disturb my queen or princess."

"You wouldn't. I don't care, and Scarlet wouldn't even notice. She needs to know you. You're her uncle."

"You shouldn't say those things."

"Why not? It's true."

I rode on, leaving the others in my wake again. I relished the speed of Dubh, how he moved effortlessly. "Good boy," I whispered, holding on tight.

I leaned forward and let him take over. Riding was the only time I felt truly free, apart from when I ran, and I didn't get much of that lately. Before long, I grew guilty for leaving Rumble behind with the others, so I pulled the reins and forced Dubh to a stop. He shook his head and huffed, stamping his feet as he walked on. Something was up.

He wandered off the worn track and into the trees. It was eerily quiet. Even Dubh barely made a sound. A whimper sounded nearby, but it was quickly silenced. It occurred to me that there might be trouble, but Dubh generally led me away from people trying to kill me.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anybody there? Do you need help?"

Nobody answered, so I let Dubh lead the way. He suddenly made a lot of noise, almost as if he didn't want to creep up on whoever it was.

And then I saw her. At the base of a tree, a woman crouched, holding a baby in her arms. The baby's floppy arms and legs were stained with black pockmarks. It whimpered again, and the woman held it tighter.

I slipped off the horse's back and knelt by the woman. What on earth was she doing in the woods with such a small baby? Not that I was one to talk. I'd given birth in a forest.

She kept her head bowed. "Are you all right?" I asked. "Can I help?"

"Run," she said hoarsely. "Get out of here." She looked up at me then, and her bruised eyes widened.

"Who did this to you?" I asked, and then I realised I knew her. "Marie, right? You came from Fiadh's home to ask for a blessing. It is you, isn't it?"

"It worked," she said hoarsely. "I had a baby, but the child is sick, and I thought to take her away. But he followed. He's angry. He won't let any of us leave, so I snuck away, but someone must have told because he's here."

"Who? Who won't let you leave?"

"The master," she whispered. "He's out there, hunting me. He'll take the baby. He has others, but he wants them all."

My stomach turned. That man sounded like Sadler. "Who's the master?"

She blinked. "Glic. He tried to kill the queen, he said. Needs more men, so he's raising an army of his own. But look at my baby. She's sick. They're all sick. And we're starving. There's no food, no hope. I lost my way, and he's out there, in the woods. He'll kill me. You should run. You must run. He wants you dead."

That explained a lot. No wonder the assassination attempt had failed if the hapless Glic had been in charge. "I'm not running from the likes of Glic. We're going to get you fed then send you back to court. Fiadh can take soldiers and deal with Glic. I'll find someone to help the baby. But don't worry, Marie. We'll figure this out. You don't have to be scared anymore."

A horn sounded. Marie burst into tears. "It's him. It's him already. He's coming. Run, please, run!"

"Get on the horse. Nobody can outrun Dubh."

"I can't," she whimpered, paralysed with fear. "I can't get up on that."

"Come on and walk then. We can't just stand here and wait for him to find us."

She was too frightened to argue any further. I helped her to her feet and led her by Dubh's side. Dubh was agitated, and I knew whoever was behind us was closing in. I just hoped Rumble and the others would find us first. I wasn't completely defenseless, but I was just one person.

The sounds of horses drew closer. My skin crawled. We were caught.

"Hide," I whispered. "Now, Marie."

She crawled behind a tree and hid next to a thick fallen branch. I held Dubh's reins and waited, wishing the others would hurry the hell up. I might be better with weapons than I had been but not if I was massively outnumbered.

Glic burst into the clearing, closely followed by three others. All of them had been in Sadler's court. The fact they weren't in mine told me everything I needed to know.

When he saw me, Glic's mouth widened into a grin. "I go looking for vermin and find me the queen of them. It must be my lucky day."

I gripped my dagger tight. "Ready for that duel?"

He looked unsettled at this reminder of his past humiliation. "A duel?" he said at last. "This will be a massacre." He jumped off his horse, holding up his hand so the others wouldn't follow. "And she still thinks she has a chance. You may fool the idiots back in that pathetic excuse for a court, but you can't fool me. You're a human dressed up to be something you're not. And you destroyed my life, so it's only fair I take yours."

Dubh stamped his feet next to me. I let go of the reins as Glic stalked me. Dubh reared up, and Glic flinched.

"It's okay, Dubh," I said softly. "No need to scare him. He's already terrified."

Shouting with rage, Glic forgot himself and lunged at me with a short sword. I sidestepped out of his way then stepped toward him and sliced his wrist with the dagger before neatly moving out of his reach. With a cry of pain, he dropped his weapon, swearing as he backed away from me.

His men leapt off their horses and advanced on me. Then a whizzing noise sounded, and Glic's head rocked back in one violent movement. One of Bran's daggers was embedded in his throat. His eyes were unseeing as he dropped to his knees. Dubh ran in front of me and kicked with his back legs, knocking one of Glic's soldiers onto his back. Rumble reached us, and the soldiers forgot about me.

Silently, which was somehow much more intimidating, Rumble jumped to the ground and swung his sword in a single swift motion, fatally wounding one soldier and disarming the second. The third jumped on Rumble's back. Rumble backed up against a tree as hard as he could. The sound of bones breaking made me cringe. A fourth came for me, whirling her two-handed sword as if it weighed nothing.

I braced myself, but as she swung, so did Dymphna from her horse. The swords clashed and vibrated. I kicked the soldier, and she stumbled, still trying to balance her sword. "Thanks," I called out to Dymphna as she leapt to the ground and advanced on the soldier.

"Not a problem." Dymphna knocked the soldier's legs out from under her and ended her life with one heavy thrust into the woman's chest.

The fight was over before Brendan and Drake could even dismount. Brendan looked dissatisfied. He needed to release his bloodlust. My emotions were all over the place, so I likely wasn't helping. I made a concerted effort to calm down.

I nodded at Bran. "So you do come in useful, after all."

He grinned, pleased with himself.

"How do you manage to find trouble wherever you go?" Brendan asked harshly.

"It's a gift. I found an old friend who needs help." I called out for Marie, telling her it was safe, but she refused to budge until I helped her up. "Glic thought he was going to build himself an army and take over," I explained to the others. "He's also the one who tried to have me killed. Anyway, Marie escaped and got this far." I squeezed her shoulder. "That was so brave of you, Marie. We're going to sit here and feed you, and then we're taking you back to court where you'll be safe. Okay?"

Brendan tutted, still agitated. "We don't have time."

"We're going to the sinkhole," I said. "While we do that, Rumble can take Dubh and bring Marie and her baby to court. He can meet us back here. It won't take long on Dubh."

"I can't," Marie whimpered.

"You can," I said firmly. "You have to. Your baby needs shelter and medicine. You're going to do this for me because Fiadh needs to know what Glic's been doing in her absence. She has to take back her home before somebody else steps up. I need you, Marie."

"No, I can't see Fiadh." Her hands trembled so much that I took the baby from her. "She knows what he's done. She'll know everything."

"Fiadh's a mother, too. She'll only know how to help you with your baby."

"You don't understand." Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving streaks in the dirt stains. "This is Glic's daughter. Fiadh will kill us both."

"Fiadh wouldn't—"

"Please don't send me to her. Please."

"All right," I said gently. "Will you go to the human realm instead? If I send you to my daughter, will you feel safer?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Anything but the lady herself."

I sighed, wishing Marie understood that Fiadh wasn't anything like Glic. "Right. Change of plan. Rumble will take you to my family in the human realm. Then he can warn Fiadh about Glic and come back to us. When it's all done, we'll sort everything out with Fiadh." I gave Marie a warm smile. "Don't worry. I won't let any harm come to your baby. What's her name?"

"I... I didn't give her one. Glic said we shouldn't, and—"

"Forget him," I said, seeing her grow agitated. "You can figure out a name while you spend time with my family."

"Thank you." She took the baby back and smiled. "My grandmother's name was Liliana. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but she was known as a great beauty. Maybe... would that name be all right?"

I patted her arm. "It's a lovely name."

"She's half-starved," Dymphna said. "She can't feed that child if she can't even feed herself. I'll prepare a meal for her."

Rumble took me aside. "I'm not comfortable with this."

"It won't take you long. Not on Dubh."

"But you'll be alone."

"There are four other people here. I'll be fine. Don't you trust me?"

He grunted. "I will do it. I just wanted you to know I'm not happy about it."

"Okay. Eat before you leave. I know Marie's a nervous wreck, but we can't leave her out here with a new baby."

"Fine," he said abruptly then left me standing there alone.

Shaking my head, I made to join the others, but then I saw Brendan wander off into the woods alone. I followed him. "You okay?"

He clenched his fists. "I'll be fine."

"Go hunt something if you need to."

He looked at me. "Am I so obvious?"

"Yes." I grinned. "And next time, get to me faster."

Brendan gave a little growl and advanced on me, pinning me to a tree. "Fast enough?"

My heart raced at the proximity and the dark look in his eyes. "No," I said teasingly.

A smile crept across his face. "I always knew you were trouble. Do you have any more dances with death planned on this journey?"

"Well, I have to keep you on your toes, or you might get bored, so who knows?"

He leaned closer, that wild look he got whenever he was restless flashing in his eyes. "There are other ways to keep me entertained."

"Like what?" I reached up and tapped his chin.

He blinked a couple times, his eyes dilating. "You really have to stop doing that, Cara. It makes it hard to think straight."

"I'm not doing anything."

Brendan looked down on me suspiciously. "Are you sure about that?"

"Pretty sure," I said, cheeks burning. "Not on purpose anyway."

His smile grew delighted. "Ah. Is it the rush from the danger then?"

I bit back a smile. "Why? Are you dangerous?"

He pinched my chin, his expression shifting again. "Only sometimes, Darksider queen."

Standing up straight, I leaned into him with an attitude of defiance. "Are queens a problem for you now?"

He grinned. "Only sometimes."

Dymphna called out my name, and Brendan let me go. "I'll hunt," he said. "If you leave, I'll follow and catch up to you."

Then he was gone, and I couldn't wipe the smile off my stupid face.

Chapter Fifteen

Marie worked up the courage to speak after she had filled her belly. Her baby mewled but didn't cry properly. I wasn't even sure if the Miacha could help her, and I wished Glic would come back to life so I could kill him. Who were these men to think the world owed them something? When Marie had first come to me, she thought she wasn't a real woman because she couldn't get pregnant, and now it had happened, and her child was dying because of the blight. None of it was fair.

"I can't believe he's dead," she said almost under her breath.

I leaned closer to hear her better. "He can't hurt you anymore. You're safe now, Marie."

But she didn't believe me. I could see it in her eyes. "He was planning your death," she said, gazing at her child's face.

"It's over now."

"Someone will always think they can do a better job than you." She looked up at me. "You're not safe, either."

"Didn't you see Rumble fight? Nobody's safer than me." I smiled. "And he's going to protect you for me."

"For now."

I couldn't bring her out of her unhappiness, so I packed her off with Dubh as soon as I could. Rumble held Marie secure, and she clung to her baby.

I touched her hand. "Next time I see you, you can tell me her name."

Marie's smile was weak, but at least it existed. I touched Rumble's arm. "Keep her safe for me, no matter what. We'll meet you back here tomorrow."

Rumble nodded. "Sleep with one eye open until I return." He dug in his heels, then Dubh was off and away, soon out of sight.

Bran made a snort of indignation. "'Sleep with one eye open.' Who does he think he is?"

"My bodyguard," I said, sinking next to him.

"You didn't die on my watch."

"That I didn't." I exchanged an amused smile with Dymphna.

"Rumble is good at what he does," Dymphna said. "He has seen things you haven't, Bran."

Brendan returned. "I already ate," he said when Drake offered him some food. "We should move on. We won't want to camp for the night anywhere near a sinkhole."

He was calmer than he had been when he left. There was so much I had to learn about the faery realm. I didn't understand why bloodlust and other impulses existed.

We packed up and moved on, five of us this time. The Darkside always seemed to separate my friends. It was strange how we kept letting it.

"She seemed scared of Fiadh," I said as we rode along a narrow path through a forest. I was unable to shake off a strange, uneasy feeling.

"She was very concerned," Dymphna said.

"The father had her terrified," Drake said. "Glic probably filled her head with all sorts of notions."

"Poor Marie." I shook my head. "Fiadh knows better than to blame the woman for her husband's actions. It's not like they love each other."

"Enough about love," Brendan said with a scowl.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

"Nothing."

I frowned and urged my horse on, but he was no Dubh, and Bran was able to keep up with me.

"I told you," he said with a broad grin on his face.

"Told me what?"

"That I know how to use my weapons."

I laughed. "Oh, that. You did well."

"It was only because you hesitated," he said.

"I did not hesitate."

"You could have killed him, but you merely defended yourself. You hesitated when you should have taken the advantage."

"Maybe I'm sick of having blood on my hands, Bran."

"Maybe you should get used to it."

I sucked in a breath. "Go away."

"No."

"Loser."

"Very mature, Queen of the Darkside."

I reached out and slapped the back of his head before he realised what I was doing.

He rubbed his head. "So ladylike, too."

"Must I separate you?" Dymphna joked as she matched our pace.

"He's just so annoying."

"She's just mad I saved her life," Bran said.

I was mad because I really had hesitated, thinking of the blackness in my veins spreading farther.

Dymphna nodded. "I've noticed she doesn't like that."

"Shouldn't you two be shadowing your kings?" I asked snappishly. "You might catch the blight off me."

A gasp escaped Bran's lips as he moved ahead of us on the path, getting in my way. Thinking he'd done it on purpose to annoy me, I urged my horse past him and almost fell off in my shock as the forest abruptly ended.

Stretched out ahead of us was a large, empty space in the ground, at least two miles long and broad.

"Look at it," I murmured. I moved as close as I dared.

Brendan got off his horse and inched toward the edge. Stones crumbled down. "I can't see the bottom. If this keeps happening, there will be mayhem."

"Then let's get to the solution as soon as possible," Drake said.

"The gardener told me the land rots from underneath and that this place was abandoned a while back because of that. We're still not sure if anyone was here when it happened." I shuddered as I looked at the gaping hole. "I hope not."

"They wouldn't have suffered," Drake said. "They couldn't have survived the drop."

A smell slowly emerged from the hole.

"What is that stench?" Bran asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Whatever's beneath us," Brendan said. "It might be too late to save this land."

"We won't know until we try," I said. "Let's take a quick look around and see if there are any other signs of impending disaster, but then we should return to camp and rest for the night. Rumble will be back tomorrow, and we can find the Watcher's tunnel after that."

The others moved on, but Brendan hesitated. "You should never have come to the Fade for me. If I had known it would cause this..."

I gazed at him, trying to imagine the world without him. "I would still have done it, Brendan."

"Then you're a fool." He looked pained.

I forced myself to smile. "So they say. Now can we go?"

He gripped my horse's bridle. "You're a good friend, Cara."

I laid my hand on his, wishing I could be more than a friend to him. Neither of us moved until the horse whinnied, and Brendan seemed to snap out of a spell. "You're right. We should move on."

***

We set up camp for the night in the same spot so we could wait for Rumble to return.

"This feels like a waste of time," Brendan said as Bran started the fire.

"We need to wait for Comhaill."

"Comhaill?"

"Oh, that's Rumble's real name. I used to call him Rumble in my head because his voice is all... rumbly, and it kind of stuck."

Brendan gave me an astonished look. "Why didn't you just ask him his name?"

"Deorad's children have no names," I said without thinking. "He barely remembered the name his mother gave him. The children would give each other nicknames. Like Vix."

"Deorad was a madman," Brendan muttered.

"He was a product of Sadler's influence," I said. "Sadler encouraged him and probably even told him what to do. He was punishing Deorad. He was punishing everyone."

Brendan scowled.

"But it worked out in the end. I know Scarlet's safe in the Darkside because half the court is related to her."

"You call them relatives," Drake said scornfully. "They're nothing."

"So Sadler told me," I snapped. "Tell me more, Drake."

"Don't start." Drake gazed at the fire. "Those people are nothing to me."

"Your loss," I said smartly. "They're everything to me."

"People wonder how you do that," Dymphna said. "How you can care for the savages."

"The fae are the fae to me," I said. "All shades of the same colour spectrum. I saw savagery on my first night with the fae, back at the festival. Not a lot can top that."

"I can see that," Dymphna said. "But your capacity for forgiveness always surprised me."

"I should have reached full capacity after you tried to kill me," I said wryly. "But we have to get over ourselves now. There are more important problems."

"Will this Watcher really be able to help?" Bran said. "Who is he?"

"He watches," Drake said in a faraway voice. "He stops the Hauntings from flooding the realm. He's neither human nor fae, so it stands to reason he has information the rest of the realm doesn't."

"He's certainly an enigma," Brendan said. "I just worry how far this journey will take us."

"I prefer this to sitting at court listening to people argue." I slipped off my boots. "I don't know how you two haven't lost your minds."

"It can grow tedious," Brendan said with a smile. "But I'm sure you're manipulative enough to manage."

"They let me off easy because I gave them Scarlet. It's amazing what an heir does." I looked at Drake and cleared my throat. "But, um, there's no rush, right?"

He stared back, looking uneasy. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that... maybe people should wait to have children until this blight situation is sorted."

Drake's expression was still suspicious.

I raised my eyebrow at Brendan, who added his voice to mine. "Cara has more experience with these suffering children," he said. "Perhaps you should listen this once."

"This once," Drake scoffed. "The two of you would tell me what to do for the rest of my life if I let you." He stormed off into the darkness.

Dymphna rose wearily to her feet to follow.

"You too," Brendan told Bran, who reluctantly headed after Dymphna. "What is it?" Brendan asked, moving to sit next to me. "What are you afraid of?"

"The mirror," I whispered. "I saw Sorcha dying in childbirth in the mirror. It could come true."

"Why would you care?"

I pulled my knees to my chest. "I don't know. It just seems wrong to let it happen. I told her, but she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't believe me. I don't know. But her child will be Scarlet's sibling, and as much as I love to be angry with Drake, I don't want his wife and child to die."

Brendan looked taken aback. "You truly amaze me sometimes."

"Maybe you need to spend more time in the human realm then. I've been told they're trying for an heir, and I think she loves him."

"The banshee?" He raised a brow. "That's unlikely. She loves power."

"Remember when Cathal poisoned my wine? Drake drank it, and Sorcha was devastated. She killed that lineage consultant arsehole in front of everyone because she was so upset. I'm telling you, she loves Drake."

"And what about you? I seem to recall you were upset, too."

I blinked. "Not upset enough to kill anyone." I thought of Rat's murderer and looked away.

"What's troubling you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He slipped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "All right."

I couldn't help leaning against him. "I'm not the same as I was, Brendan."

"Nobody stays the same."

"I'm not good."

"The fact you're worried about that makes me think you are still the same Cara," he said gently. "If you weren't good, why would it even concern you?"

I smiled. "And you call me manipulative."

"I'm not lying."

"I know." I resisted the urge to sink into his arms and stay there. My feelings had been changing so slowly that they had surprised even me. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if he hadn't been able to hold on to his body, or if you had been summoned to a different body instead?"

"All the time."

We sat there in companionable silence until we heard the others. I was starting to understand that he had always been there for me when I needed him, but I'd waited too long and lost the courage to make anything happen between us.

***

When I woke up the next morning, Rumble was asleep next to me. Dubh was gnawing on grass, and everyone else was still asleep. I debated waking Rumble, but when I sat up, his eyes opened.

"Hey," I whispered. "You're back early."

"I didn't wait."

"Is Marie okay?"

He nodded. "I left her under the care of Líle and Vix. The Miacha woman is caring for the baby, but she didn't seem hopeful."

"Did you go to court?"

"I warned Fiadh of what was happening in her territory. As far as I know, she's planning to return this week to root out any remaining traitors."

"Okay. Was everything else all right?"

"No problems as of yet," he said.

"You must be exhausted."

"I never need much sleep. Was all well in my absence?"

"Yeah." I shifted positions to get more comfortable. "We saw the sinkhole. It was all kinds of terrifying. It could happen anywhere."

He nodded. "You're sure we can solve these problems before they cause more chaos."

"Chaos," I muttered. "Do you think this god of Sadler's is doing all of this?"

"Yes."

"Me, too. Does that mean we have to fight him to get this to stop?"

"Perhaps."

"So, how do we stop a god?" I asked.

He stared at me. "I have no idea."

"Try to rest. The others will be up soon."

He closed his eyes. I tried to relax, but it was pointless. I had too much on my mind. Defeating a god seemed out of the realm of possibility, even if some old stories and a random comment from Líle made it seem as if we had a chance.

As the morning brightened, I snuck away from camp to bathe in a nearby stream. Dubh followed and grazed close by after inspecting the water. I floated, remembering all the journeys I had been on before in the faery realm. Maybe I was too stuck in the past. I stepped out of the stream. It was time to look ahead.

Dubh suddenly neighed as though furious and ran at something. A voice shouted out in pain. I quickly dressed then went to see what was going on.

Dubh had a hold of Bran, who was looking sheepish. "I was just looking for you," he protested. "The horse is crazy."

"He's a good horse," I said.

Dubh released Bran, who rubbed his shoulder and glared. "We're having breakfast and then leaving." He turned and headed back to camp.

I patted Dubh's nose. "The best horse," I whispered.

Dubh and I strolled back to camp as I plaited my wet hair as best I could without a mirror. The smell of breakfast had my stomach growling. Everyone was up, and Bran was still scowling.

Brendan gave me a quizzical look. "What did you do to Bran? I merely sent him to find you."

"Well, Dubh objected to him spying on me while I bathed," I teased.

Colour flooded Bran's cheeks. "I wasn't spying! I didn't see anything, I swear!"

I giggled at the look on his face. "Relax. This is the kind of glorious payback that happens to people who bother me all day long. Dubh just has a sense of humour, and you apparently don't."

Bran grumbled under his breath—something about never bringing treats to contrary horses again. Within an hour, we were back on the road, this time looking for the entrance to the Watcher's tunnel. Brendan and Drake didn't remember the way as clearly as they'd both imagined they would, but I eventually caught sight of a familiar copse of trees.

"I think it's this way," I said, leading the others. Dubh snorted as if in agreement and upped his pace.

Brendan kept pace with me. "This is the longest Bran has gone without speaking, I'll have you know."

I glanced over my shoulder and laughed. "He'll get over it."

"Will that woman's baby survive? It looked so ill."

"That's how most babies on the Darkside look. I hope she'll be okay. The Miacha have been pretty good at helping."

"I'm sorry for them," he said. "There's no reason for children to suffer like this. I see now why your Darksiders see Scarlet as something of a miracle."

"I should thank you for what you did for her. You were kind of amazing."

He let out a surprised laugh. "Haven't I been telling you how amazing I am since we met? But really, I did nothing."

"You stopped me from acting like a demented person. Scarlet suffered because I wasn't thinking straight."

"You can't protect her from everything."

I kept my eyes straight ahead. "I can try."

Soon, we reached a familiar hillside. If I stood on Dubh's back, I would be able to see the castle and the Hollows.

"This isn't going to be pleasant," I warned the others when they caught up to us.

"It was never pleasant," Dymphna said.

"It'll be worse now. We'll all be alone, remember." I looked at Bran. "If you feel miserable or scared or anxious, it's because of the tunnel. It goes underground, so the worst of the blight affects it. Before, just one cave part of the tunnel was bad, but this time, the entire thing could be shitty. Are you ready?"

"If everyone else can do it, I can," he said.

"Rumble, you'll be most used to the sensation. I'll lead, and you take up the rear in case anyone gets the urge to run."

They all protested, but I remembered how low everyone had felt in the tunnel the last time we had been there. It had to be worse now, and I wasn't taking any chances.

"You'll take the rear," I repeated.

Rumble nodded, and before anyone could stop me, I headed to the mouth of the tunnel with Dubh. I drank in the sunshine and tried to remember how happy Scarlet made me. We would need to remember inside the tunnel.

"Just think of happy things," I said, stalling. "When you feel like killing the person in front of you, just think of a memory that makes you feel good and concentrate on that until we come out the other side."

I took a deep breath.

"We can do this," Dymphna said.

"I know," I said. "We should just get through it as quickly as possible."

I gripped the reins, and Dubh walked right into the tunnel. We all held lit torches, but the light couldn't penetrate the darkness no matter what we did. The shadows twisted and darkened. I urged Dubh to step as quickly as possible through the narrow tunnel, and I tried to take my own advice. As misery crept across my skin—a clammy sensation that made me instantly depressed—I thought of my daughter and the happiness I felt when I first saw her face and the joy of holding her and watching her smile. It helped through the first part of the tunnel, but I was surprised by how many times the face of a golden-haired king popped into my mind, too.

Chapter Sixteen

My torch died. As if by the same gust of wind, so did everyone else's.

"Just keep following me," I said. "Dubh will lead the way."

The others were so silent that I was afraid they weren't there anymore. Looking back wouldn't help because the cave was pitch-black and suffocating. It tasted like mould and felt like drowning. I knew all about drowning; I had almost accomplished that often enough.

Brendan started to hum a song that had been on my mp3 player. It seemed ridiculous in a blighted cave underground on the Darkside of the faery realm. I burst into nervous giggles.

"Really, Cara?" Drake said.

I heard the amusement in his voice, and my edgy nerves relaxed another inch.

"Sorry." My anxiety switched off as the giggles took over. And I knew exactly what to do. I pictured Scarlet in my arms, and I sent that feeling outward. It echoed against the walls and shrouded all of us.

"What are you thinking about?" Brendan asked, a strange note to his words.

"Scarlet, and her little face, and her little fingers, and her little chubby arms, and her little legs, and her little—"

"We get it," Bran said dryly.

"And that patch in her hair is adorable. I don't care what anyone says. And her funky little eyes." My voice died away as I remembered that the person who had given her those eyes was three horses behind me. "Anyway, I was thinking about her."

"What else?" Drake asked, his voice almost choked up.

Hesitating, I held on to the reins a little tighter. "She still has a baby smell. I can't get enough of it. I sniff her hair all the time. It's so weird, but she smells so good, like... like home."

"Where is home?" Brendan murmured.

I smiled in the dark. "Wherever she is. Once, back when we were staying in my grandparents' house, it was warm, so we went to the beach. And every time she touched the sand, she would screw up her nose like it was the grossest thing ever, but then she'd try to eat it a second later. And the water was kind of cold, but we went paddling, just where the waves lapped in, and she kept making this squealing sound whenever the water touched her toes. Anya was panicking because she thought Scarlet was crying, but she was laughing. It was like... she was so excited and nervous about the water that she couldn't get the laughter out quite right."

"I once brought Eithne to a zoo," Dymphna said. "With my husband. He said every child goes to the zoo, so we went, and it was awful. The animals were so depressed that I thought about setting them free."

I burst out laughing again. "Did you go to the farm?"

"Yes. It was very odd. Did you know there's a fake cow there?"

"I'll have to take Scarlet when she's a bit older."

"That's what I liked about the human realm," Dymphna said wistfully. "Parents do things with their children. They don't send them away or ignore them. They expect to love them, and they try to make them happy. When Eithne hugs me, I feel like something inside of me is melting, and I want to do whatever I can to make her happy."

"There are so many fun places to take them," I said. "We should take the girls on trips to the human realm and bring Setanta."

"Isn't it lovely and warming how we're not invited," Brendan said, but I was too interested in the sudden light ahead of us to care.

"We're here," I said eagerly. "That was quicker than I remembered." I reached the entrance first, eager to get into the sunshine.

The Watcher rose from his seat on a fallen branch and tipped his cap at me. "Here at last. I've been waiting all day."

***

The Watcher's house was just as I remembered it. The Wife ran around making sure everything was just so for our dinner. The pale-pink twin pixies giggled and fluttered their eyelashes at the men. The Watcher's hound snored in front of the fire.

"How did you know we were coming?" I asked, digging into the stew as if I hadn't eaten in days.

"The birds." The Watcher winked. "They tell us many stories. How is Líle?"

"She's slowly getting better."

"Maybe someday, she'll be herself again," he said. "She suffered, that one. But she had the strength of will to hold on when others would have given up."

"Does she still have the other memories?"

"She'll always have them."

A shiver ran down my spine. Líle knew more than she let on.

"You know why we're here then," Brendan said, "and why we came to you."

"You want to know about the rift." The Watcher puffed on his pipe, much to the Wife's consternation. "And I'll tell you as soon as you're done eating. Wife, leave them be."

He went into the living room. The Wife grabbed the pixies by the ears to lead them out of the kitchen.

A scream sounded in the distance, and Bran jumped.

"It's okay," I said. "You'll get used to it. It's just the Hauntings."

"I wish we didn't have to pass through it again," Drake said.

He had been quiet since the cave. I wondered if I had made him feel as though he were missing out on Scarlet. The cruel, hard part of my heart hoped he felt awful. The logical side told me to let go of the bitterness, but I wasn't sure how to exist without it anymore.

"Let's hope the Watcher can tell us something we need to know," Brendan said.

"The cave wasn't so bad," Dymphna said. "I expected it to be worse."

"Cara helped." Drake stared at his full plate. "If you're all finished, let's talk to the Watcher and get moving." He rose and left us.

"Finish eating," Brendan said. "He's just in a mood."

When we had finished, we headed into the living room, where the Watcher was waiting by the fire. I had slept in that room, felt a great many different emotions in that room. The Wife had brought in chairs so that we could all sit around the Watcher in a semi-circle.

"This blight is a problem then," the Watcher said when he was done with his pipe.

"Just a little," Bran said shortly.

"Did we cause it?" Brendan asked. "Are we to blame for the rift widening?"

"Yes and no." The Watcher reached down to fondle the ears of his lanky hound. "The rift widened, and that is cause for alarm, but it couldn't have caused this much damage in such a short time, or I would never have let you pass in the first place."

"Then what is it?" Rumble asked. "What's destroying the land?"

"Something is accelerating the problem," the Watcher said.

"Like a god?" I asked.

The Watcher nodded, shifting uneasily in his seat.

"Can we close the rift?" Drake said. "Is that possible?"

"It could be." The Watcher closed his eyes for a moment. The Wife returned to the room, and he opened his eyes again.

"Tell them," she said. "Tell them about the Lia Fáil."

The name was familiar. "The monument thing?" I asked. "The stone landmark?"

"It is a stone," the Watcher said. "But it's not the same as what you seek."

I frowned, confused.

"What do we seek?" Dymphna asked.

"The stone of destiny," the Wife said. "The real Lia Fáil."

"Real," the Watcher echoed.

"I don't understand," Bran said.

The Watcher heaved a great sigh. "There's a monument in the human realm known as the Lia Fáil. They say it sings when a true king of Ireland stands on it. But it's a rendition of an imagined treasure."

"So it's not real," Drake said flatly.

"As with most things, fae treasures are not what they seem. Someone dedicated a monument to the Lia Fáil, but the true stone of destiny looks... common at first glance. It's a small stone, one of the legendary treasures, and it has a great deal of power."

"How does it work?" Brendan asked.

"The stone is of the earth," the Wife said. "It could stop the rift. It would use up vast amounts of its power to do so, but it could seal the rift forever."

"In theory," the Watcher added. "We don't know for sure. The treasures are dangerous and contrary. They won't be handled by those they dislike, and only the true ruler of the realm can reveal their real power."

I glanced at Brendan and Drake. Which one was the true ruler? "So, where is it?"

The Watcher smiled. "That I do not know. They say the treasures were hidden in four corners of the realm to stop any one faery from consuming all of that power. Those four treasures combined would change the world."

"Could they beat a god?" I asked. Everyone looked at me.

"She asks good questions," the Wife said, her ruddy cheeks lifting into a broad smile.

"The human." The Watcher smirked. "They say four gods hid four treasures to protect themselves, but nobody knows for sure. Many have tried to find all four treasures. Did none of you ever hear the stories?"

Brendan nodded. "But they're myths. Nobody has seen any of the treasures in a long time. Why would anyone believe them to be something other than children's stories?"

"Fairy-tales," I murmured.

"What makes you think they even exist?" Drake asked. "Or that we could find them? How could a stone seal the rift?"

"The legendary treasures are no ordinary objects, even though they may seem so at first glance. They are glamoured to protect themselves."

"Then how will we find them?" Bran asked.

"And why do you believe this stone could work?" Rumble asked.

The Watcher hesitated for a moment before looking at his wife. "Bring it to me." She left the room, and he went to the display cabinet and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. He drew on it then showed it to us. It was a kind of Celtic knot overlaying a cross.

"Those four circles are on an old heirloom of Fiadh's," I said.

"They represent the elements," the Watcher explained. "The fae were much more attuned to the world around them in the past. Many of the old ways have been lost. This is an ancient image, a replica. The original is sentient, living. It represents the realm and its power, and it changes constantly."

He sketched an outline of the realm around the image to demonstrate. The cross touched all three courts, as well as neutral territory. That had to be a coincidence.

The Watcher tapped the page. "The cross is the centre of the realm. Some say that area used to be known as the crossroads. Each loop represents one treasure: earth, fire, air, or water. The white space on the page is the void. It's energy at its purest."

"What does that tell us?" I asked, fascinated by the image.

"For those of us who Watch, it tells us everything important."

I frowned at the phrasing. "Exactly how many things do you Watch?"

He lit his pipe. "She's right. You do ask good questions." But he didn't answer.

The Wife returned and held up what looked like a painting in a frame. It was the same image, but the white space was filled with black splotches, and the lines on the cross were wobbly in some places and smudged in others almost as though they were being slowly rubbed out.

"This is the original," the Watcher said, "and it tells us that we are suffering from a blight that will swallow up all of the energy and power in the realm."

"The magic is being lost?" Brendan asked.

Drake's expression darkened. "Or stolen?"

"We are being lost to a void of darkness. Look at the circles of the knot. Air and water are almost completely overwhelmed, but the blackness never touches earth and fire."

"That's why you believe the stone will work," Drake said.

"Exactly. Fire may burn the darkness away, but earth chokes it. Fire needs to be created and wielded whereas earth exists all by itself. The stone is earth and therefore the greatest chance."

"But even if we find the stone and close the rift, the existing blight will remain," Rumble said.

"Unless it's dealt with," the Watcher said.

"If the stone is earth, can't it cleanse the earth?" I asked.

"Too much power will be lost when the rift is sealed. The stone of destiny will take centuries to recover from that."

I looked at Brendan, who nodded encouragingly. "I found a stick that cleans the darkness from people. Just holding it sort of takes some of the taint away. The Miacha told us the wood comes from the first tree, so we thought if we could find such a tree, then—what?"

The Watcher's face had turned red. "She found a stick, says she."

"It couldn't be the Sleá Bua," the Wife said. "How could she just fall over something like that?"

"The Spear of Lugh," the Watcher said with a laugh. "The fire element. A legendary treasure with the means to burn the void away. Yes, the tree could work."

"It's not a spear," I said. "It's just a pointy piece of wood."

"Perhaps you haven't looked at it carefully," he said. "The treasures won't reveal themselves before it's the right time. That's not how the magic works."

"Then how does it work?" I demanded. "Because I don't understand any of this."

"Where did you find the spear?" the Wife asked.

"Sadler had it."

"Then it can't be the Spear of Lugh," Drake said. "She found it in the Darkside, the very place that's been destroyed by the blight."

"It's how it's wielded that counts," the Wife said. "But you're mistaking fire for earth. Fire is used. Someone would have to use the spear to make it work. Earth, on the other hand, is always there. The tablet will naturally clean the earth around it."

A thought struck me. "Was Sadler trying to collect the legendary treasures?"

"For himself or his god?" Brendan muttered.

"We need to find that stone," Drake said. "We need to seal the rift before this void completely engulfs us. If Sadler's god is using it against us, then we need to take that power away."

"What part of the realm is untouched by the blight?" Dymphna asked.

Brendan stared at his hands. "Yvette's home hasn't been affected."

"And nobody thought this was weird?" I shook my head. "Wait. What if it really is in the human realm?"

"If we can't find the stone, we'll go to the human realm," Drake said. "But we should make use of this clue. The stone can't be harmed by the void, at least not yet, so we should look at the obvious places."

"I need to speak to Yvette about those old books anyway," Brendan said.

"We're going to have to travel to the Great Forest to meet with the Guardian," I said. "She can't be that far from there if she's in a part of your territory."

He nodded. "Is there anything else you can tell us?" he asked the Watcher.

"I'm sure there are plenty of things." The Watcher frowned. "The stone of destiny has a strong relationship with the land. And there was once no separation between the realms. The faery realm and the human realm coexisted for the good of all. Back then, the land was called Inis Fáil. We were one. We were many."

"The island of destiny," I said. "Just like the stone."

The Watcher smiled at me. "That's it. And they say it was the stone that separated the realms. But the stone's power isn't just division of places. The stone heals and replenishes."

"If it can divide the faery realm from the human world, it could properly separate the Fade from this realm," I said.

"Some say four gods created four treasures," the Wife said, "but we only know for sure that Brighid was the cause of that creation. She represents fertility and growth—healing, as it were—and your aim is to repair the rift. These treasures should protect the realm."

"Brighid's the one who separated the realms and doomed the fae," Brendan said darkly. "She took our power because we didn't deserve it, and she used a treasure to do that, not protect us."

"Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned there," the Watcher said. "But the fae are always slow to learn their lessons, are they not?"

Brendan fell silent under the Watcher's knowing gaze.

"The stone and the island are linked," Drake said. "This is why you believe it will work."

"Well, the stone separated one world from another, and the Fade is a world, of sorts. The stone is my best suggestion."

"What about the other two treasures?" I asked. "What are they?"

"There's the Claíomh Solais. That's the sword of victory. He who wields it—and is worthy, mind you—can never fail. That's air. Water is the Coire Dagdae—Dagda's Cauldron. Some say a mortal once drank the blood of so many enemies out of the Coire Dagdae that he turned into a god."

I shuddered. "Can any of those help us?"

"I'm sure they could if they were easy to find. You're lucky to have one."

"If it's the right one," I said. "Could the spear cleanse the earth?"

"I think the spear was intended to cleanse the body."

"I used it for that. Black liquid was repelled from the man's body."

"Really now," the Watcher said, eyeing me carefully. "That's interesting. And did he die?"

"He was already dead. He was being kept alive by magic."

"A dark magic then," the Wife said. "The dead don't belong in this world."

"No, they don't," the Watcher said. "But we've heard stories."

"The ships?" Drake asked.

The Watcher nodded. "And if it's a god you've angered by using the spear, then you had better hurry before he figures out it's the stone you're after next."

"And if he comes at us again?"

"Then you'll need all four treasures just to stand a chance."

***

We slept in the Watcher's kitchen that night, but we stayed awake for a long time trying to digest what we had been told.

"It's a lot of maybes," I said. "But we've no other options."

"It makes a twisted kind of sense," Dymphna said. "For all we know, this stone separated the Fade from the rest of the world in the first place."

I felt myself growing excited. "I think we can do this. But the spear. Could it really be that pathetic-looking stick?"

"The stick you used to kill Deorad," Drake said in a flat voice, "was a legendary treasure."

"I dread to think what would have happened if she had used a dagger." Brendan looked at me. "You truly have the strangest luck."

"What happens to the stone when we've used it?" Rumble asked.

We all looked at each other. Four treasures with immense power existed while three kingdoms struggled to maintain their own power. The treasures could change everything.

"We... we'd have to hide it again," I said. "If somebody with the same desires as Sadler finds all of the treasures, the rest of us are screwed."

"If we found them all, we could each keep a treasure," Drake said, "and leave the last to be hidden by the Watcher."

"Do we trust each other enough with a treasure?" Brendan asked.

"We might have to," Drake said. "If we don't find the stone, we'll die. All of us—humans and fae."

"Is this why you hate Brighid?" I asked Brendan. "Because she separated the realms?"

He frowned. "There are many reasons to hate Brighid, but that one is as good as any."

I shivered at the coolness in his tone. What if we used the stone and managed to piss off Brighid? Then I thought of another possibility. "Anya's always saying that Brighid had a plan for me, for us. What if this is it? What if we were all led to this point just to clean up Sadler's mess?"

"Then why couldn't she have stopped Sadler in the first place?" Bran asked.

"Free will," Dymphna said. "The options are put in front of us, but it's up to us to make the choice. For right or wrong, our choices led us here."

We were quiet after that, and one by one, everyone fell asleep. Brendan sat up and stared into the fire the longest. I watched him as I nodded off. And when I slept, I dreamt of a goddess with three heads whispering to me to hurry up and find the stone of destiny before it was too late.

Chapter Seventeen

The plan became this: travel back through the tunnel to the Darkside, go to the Great Forest and look for the Guardian whom nobody really believed I had met, find out where the First Tree came from, and then go to Yvette's home—wherever that was—to seek out the stone that probably wasn't there. I had a strong feeling that if the stone were connected to Brighid, it would be hidden in the human realm. But everyone else was dead set on the stone being in the faery realm.

"What if he's lying?" Bran asked as we approached the tunnel.

"He's not," I said firmly, moving ahead. I didn't wait for the others.

The journey was worse this time, partly because I was too busy thinking about what the Watcher and his wife had told us. When I ignored everything around me, the misery didn't touch me at all, but I had forgotten about everyone else.

We reached the other side in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bran trembling. I looked at him in concern. The way the periwinkle in his veins had dimmed worried me. He toppled off his horse even as I was dismounting to go to him. I reached him first. He shook violently, his lower lip trembling and his hands clutching at his arms in an attempt to warm himself up. His teeth chattered. I pressed my hands against his cheeks and felt how cold he was. One of his wings was bent awkwardly beneath him, so I pulled him into a sitting position.

"It's over," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "It's over, Bran. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. You're okay. You're going to be okay."

He didn't say a word, and I concentrated on every time I had laughed and felt warm. It came easier this time, as though practice made it second nature to use my emotions and memories as a tool.

I murmured words in his ear, and he wrapped his arms around me, too, holding on tight. Colour returned to his wings, and the shivering gradually stopped.

"You okay?" I asked, pulling away to look at him. What had Brendan been thinking by bringing him with us?

Bran nodded, his face young and vulnerable and shocked. He looked over my shoulder and cleared his throat then made to get up. I realised I was basically sitting in his lap, so I moved aside and helped him to his feet. I noticed everyone else watching.

"What?" I said, brushing imaginary dirt off my trousers. "Let's go."

I didn't wait. I climbed onto Dubh's back and let him lead us out of there and away from that awful tunnel.

***

We rode until late. We had almost reached the Hollows when we stopped.

"It's strange," I whispered, "how different everything is since the first time we came here."

"Everything has changed," Drake said. "I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we hadn't taken that journey."

I looked over my shoulder, but the others were out of earshot. "What do you mean?"

"I would be king of the realm. Sadler wouldn't have had a chance to get branded. I wouldn't have married... who I married."

"But Brendan would be stuck in the Fade."

"Brendan," he said bitterly. "The one who always wins."

"He's suffered," I said, surprised by the anger in his eyes.

"And he's been slowly taking everything from me since he returned."

"You took a chunk of his kingdom," I said. "And his banshee. And his daoine sídhe. He hasn't taken anything from you."

"If you can't see what he's doing, then you're a fool."

"You always want to blame other people. Have you ever stopped to think about everything you've given away?"

I rode on, desperate to be away from him and my complicated feelings toward him. Sometimes I hated him so much, and then I felt guilty because of Scarlet. His sadness made me feel guilty when I warmed to Brendan or when I was happy or when I got to have the things he hadn't wanted. It was easier to never be around him. I worried he might never stop warping everything I felt just by his presence.

I slowed at the mouth of the Hollows. The twin mountains rose up around me. Every time we had passed through them, we had been attacked. There was nothing but death at the Hollows, and that had to change. I stepped onto the path on my black faery horse, wearing my black riding clothes, and I held my head high. The Hollows belonged to my family now, and I had nothing to be scared of. But there were still eyes in the pockets scattered across the mountains. The Hollow Hills was a hiding place for pathetically deformed creatures who had been transformed by the blight, although now they saw me as their leader. It was probably too late to save them from their fate, but I could stop the same thing from happening to anyone else. I thought of Scarlet and Setanta and Marie's limp baby. Never again would the children of the Darkside be forgotten.

I called out to whomever was left, "There's food at the castle. Tell them I sent you." But even as I said it, I knew they wouldn't go. And nobody wanted to see what Sadler had done. I would have to force myself to look at them.

I was halfway through when the others caught up. I halted Dubh and waited for them. A whisper sounded across the hills, but it died down when Rumble reached my side. We carried on in single file, each court represented, and we reached the end unmolested.

"Well," Brendan said when we were clear. "That was a first."

"We can camp nearby," I said as the first peek of a lilac moon began to appear. "It's late."

We settled down in a place where I had camped before. It was seemingly untouched by the blight, but when we made a fire from wood we found close by, a tart smell rose from the black and sticky embers.

I made sure to sit next to Bran, who was still looking shell-shocked. "You doing okay?" I asked as I passed him a cup of tea.

He nodded, staring into the fire. He wrapped his fingers around the cup. "I've never felt anything like it." He looked at me as though for the first time. "Thank you."

"There are some advantages to having a human around on the Darkside," I said with a smile.

"You heard the Watcher," Brendan said, eyeing us over the fire. "We were meant to be as one. It's no coincidence that humans have borne the fae some of the strongest offspring."

I couldn't stop myself from glancing at Drake when I heard that.

"If it wasn't for Cara, we would never have made it past the Black Marshes," Dymphna said.

"If it wasn't for Cara, we wouldn't have journeyed to the Fade at all," Drake said, in the same bitter tone he had spoken with earlier.

Brendan raised his cup. "Then I am grateful that humans are the most loyal creatures in the realm."

"Apart from sprites and brownies," I said.

He laughed. "And the occasional special pixie."

"To humans," Bran said. "For... the things they can do that we cannot."

"Shut up now." I was grinning. "We can't even do proper magic."

"Magic is overrated." Brendan sounded as if he might even mean it. "So," he added after a moment, "where do we go first?"

"The Guardian kind of found me last time," I said. "I was on the run from what I think were clurichaun, and I kind of bumped into him. But he took Brighid's flower from me and planted it by his tree. If we can find the flowers, we'll find him. If not, we can just ask every tree we pass."

"Why do I get the feeling she's being serious?" Dymphna asked.

"Because she is," Rumble said. "It will be a long journey."

"Wouldn't it be great if the first trees happened to be right next to the stone?" I yawned. "Where does this Yvette person live anyway?"

Brendan raised his brows. "This Yvette person lives at the very corner of the realm, a place that wasn't even liveable in my day. Her entire clan lives there, and they've built up quite a fortress to protect themselves."

"How come nobody knows them?"

"They are a private people." But a glimpse of uncertainty crossed his face.

"There used to be a library there," Bran said. "I remember hearing stories of it as a child."

"The tower," Brendan said. "I had half forgotten it. It was huge, more like a temple than a tower. It housed artefacts and ancient books."

I perked up. "A perfect place to keep a legendary treasure. And those old stories about the treasures."

Brendan shrugged. "One would hope. But it's a library no longer. They may have kept everything in the library intact, but it's a home now."

"It sounds more like a kingdom," Dymphna said. "A fortress, an army, a clan nobody really knows. Where did they come from? What bloodlines do they belong to? What kind of power do they have?"

"The lineage consultant assured me that they've been rooted there for a long time. They've established themselves. They have wealth and power and a fertile piece of land." He frowned again. "But it wasn't fertile before. I remember visiting once with my parents. We were on a tour of the realm, and my mother wanted us to see the library."

"What was it like?" Drake asked.

"The land was a rock in the middle of the ocean. I remember thinking it looked as though someone had arbitrarily pinned it there. It didn't seem like a part of the realm. One foot in a certain direction, and you found yourself in a permanent thunderstorm. The sea lashed against the rocks as if trying to destroy it. I don't know how the library could have been built because we had to walk up uneven steps cut in the rock to reach the building. It was almost like a lighthouse. My mother told me that on a clear day, you could see the entire realm from the top of the library. That was why it was so special. But it was perched there, as though it could topple over at any time, and I thought it was a terrible place to house the realm's most prized possessions."

"What was inside?" I asked.

His eyes glazed over. "I don't remember."

I didn't believe him, but I didn't push the issue.

"How could a thriving clan survive on a rock?" Rumble asked.

"That was a long time ago," Brendan said. "Most of the land has changed. Perhaps my memories of the old maps are wrong."

"How will we know where to look?" Bran asked. "How will we even know if we see this stone of destiny?"

"In the old tales my people tell," Dymphna said, "the treasures disguise themselves from those seeking power and show themselves to those on a noble quest." She smiled. "This is a rather noble quest. Perhaps the treasures will make themselves obvious."

"The spear didn't show itself to me as anything but a piece of wood," I said.

"Then why did you use it on Deoard?" Drake asked.

"It's hard to describe." I frowned as I thought back. "I was drawn to this little jewellery box. There were bits of crap inside, and I just felt like it was important. When I touched the stick, I felt strange, and then I saw it." I held out my hand and flexed my fingers. "I left a black handprint, and the wood just soaked it up."

That sparked another memory I had forgotten. "Ronnie once told me that the fae's greatest treasures look plain and ordinary. That they keep their weaknesses close. I got it into my head that Sadler was keeping the stick for a reason, so I took it. And when he noticed, he freaked out. Bekind hid it for me, and Sadler went on a rampage around the castle. He thought Ronnie had taken it, I think. She was living in the castle because he was letting her torture Deorad. She thought I was having her child. It was really weird. Anyway, when Sadler sought her out, she was already gone. That's how I knew the stick was important. And it had to have something to do with Deorad or he wouldn't have gone crazy looking for Ronnie."

"Maybe the spear didn't want him to find it," Bran said.

I shivered to think of the little wooden stick having a mind of its own.

That night, I slept between Rumble and Bran. Away from the court, all of the separation rules had melted away, and we were back to camping together like seminormal people.

I dreamt I was in Brighid's garden again. Three women were running and giggling as I chased them. "Wait!" I called out. "I can't remember the rules!"

A hand on my shoulder froze me to the spot. I couldn't see the women anymore.

"The stone," one of them whispered into my ear.

"The sword," the second said from somewhere behind me.

"The cup," the third said from my feet.

I couldn't move anything but my mouth. "There's a spear," I said. "You forgot the spear."

"You already know it," they said as one. "It's already ours. Three more, and then it's done."

"Then what's done?" I asked, but I already understood in the dream.

"The power will be ours, and you will choose your reward."

I suddenly realised I wasn't alone in the garden. There was someone else hearing the same instructions.

"The child?" the new voice said. "That's all it will take?"

"Everything we want will be ours."

I blinked, confused. Had they ever been talking to me?

"No," a voice whispered in my head. The other conversations looped as if on repeat, but the voice in my head was different. It spoke only to me. "No," was all it said. "No, no, no, no, no..."

I sat up straight, my heart racing. Screw the faery realm and the messed-up dreams it gave me.

"Bad dream?" Brendan asked from the fire.

My mind cleared as I looked around me. Camp. Right. Everyone was asleep but Brendan.

"Want some tea?" he asked, giving me a curious look.

Nodding, I climbed over Bran's wings and joined Brendan at the dying fire.

"It's late," I said.

"Did you dream?"

"I think so. It was weird. It didn't make sense."

"There must be something in the air out here that gets into our minds without us realising." He handed me the cup. "I dreamt of your hounds. Those animals were growing before my eyes, I could swear it." He glanced at me. "It was a good gift."

"You gave me a good gift, too."

"I had another at first, but it didn't seem appropriate. Although when I heard of the cú sídhe, I wished I had stayed with my original idea."

"What was the gift?"

The corner of his mouth lifted. "Perhaps I'll give it to you in the future instead."

"You didn't need to give me anything. But I appreciated it. I thought maybe you wouldn't show up to the ceremony."

"We've all come too far to give up on one another now."

I took a sip of hot tea and burned my mouth. I looked at Brendan. He was in a pensive mood. "Are you looking forward to seeing Yvette again?"

"That's an odd question." He didn't meet my eye.

"It sounded pretty normal to me."

"Odd for you to ask."

"They told me what will happen if you marry her, and what will happen if you don't."

His lips pressed together in a line before he replied, "I'm sure they did."

"You told the lineage consultant that you would never marry."

"I did. And I meant it then."

"But not now?"

"You must have learned by now that a crown is a prison," he said softly. "My decisions and actions have to come from a place that is good for the realm and for my kingdom before I do what's good for me personally."

"None of us want to be miserable forever. Your parents loved each other, didn't they?"

"They did, and they kept it a secret as much as possible. It was a badly kept secret, to be fair, and it was why the realm was eager for them to move on despite their popularity. They thought I would be a better king because I was the heartless one. How foolish I was instead."

"Do you think they regretted anything?"

"No," he said. "They were so consumed with each other that it became harder for them to rule. They wanted to consider each other's feelings before the realm, and that couldn't be allowed. Even I thought ill of them, the sentimental pair. Sometimes, I think I felt left out, and that made me... opposed to their way of life. I didn't understand."

"Marriage sounds terrifying either way."

"At last, we agree on something." He took my hand. "And I'm sorry you're the one with experience."

I squeezed his hand. "Marriage is pretty bad when you hate each other. There's never a moment when you can be content or feel safe. At least, if you trust the person, you have someone you can talk to who will listen to you."

"Will you ever forget how badly Sadler treated you?"

"I don't think I should forget it. If I forget, I might turn into him."

"That would never happen. Your conscience is too loud."

I stared at the rings on my finger. "Even before I knew about the fae, I knew marriage wasn't for me. Having to spend so much time with another person—I imagined I would turn into my mother, lose my identity completely." I sucked in a breath. "And the rest."

"You would never let anyone hurt Scarlet."

I was the only one hurting people lately. Brendan looked depressed, and I wanted so badly for him to smile again.

"People don't fall in love straight away." I avoided his questioning gaze. "Sometimes, it builds up over the years and kind of creeps up on you."

"Does it?" he asked softly.

"Maybe, if you married her, that would happen for you. Maybe you would learn to love each other, and it wouldn't be so bad. What's good for the realm could be good for you, too."

"Is that what you really think?"

No.

"I'm going to bed. I'm tired." I leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You deserve to be happy. You've earned it. That's what I really think. If marrying her would make you happy, then I'll be the first to wish you luck."

I didn't look over to see his reaction because I was too busy hiding mine.

Chapter Eighteen

Two days later, we found ourselves still fruitlessly searching the Great Forest for a flower that didn't seem to exist. Brendan and Drake decided to lead us to the place where they'd found me after my solo adventure.

"You must have some idea," Brendan said. "Look around. Does anything look familiar?"

"Everything's been looking familiar for the last two days," I said. "Let's just walk and see if anything... let's just go."

"The Guardian may not want to be found," Dymphna said as we walked on foot, leading the horses behind us.

"If the forest dies, where does that leave the Guardian?" I asked. "He has to want to help us."

But there was no sign of him or his tree spirits all morning.

"It's too hot to walk anymore," I complained.

Drake stretched out his silvery wings. "We'll stop as soon as we come upon a good place for the horses to drink."

By mid-afternoon, we were all done. We rested until the day grew cooler. We ate then relaxed, and the only sounds were the leaves rustling in the trees and the lapping of water. But there was something in the atmosphere that reminded me of the Darkside.

"I can feel it." My voice was loud in the relative silence. I sensed the others turning to me, but I stayed on the ground, staring up at the patches of sunshine and green. "It feels like the Darkside. The blight is here."

"I feel it, too," Bran said. "It reminds me of that tunnel."

"It's not that bad yet up here," I said, "but anything that lives underground must be suffering. Although the Watcher said that water and air were weakening. Maybe we're breathing in the blight and drinking it."

"He also said a stick was made of fire," Bran said. "Am I the only one who sees how little sense that makes?"

"It's figurative fire," Dymphna said. "The kind that can burn the blight from your body without a flame."

"We need to find the Guardian," Drake said, sounding frustrated. "Are you sure you met him, Cara?"

"He called himself the Guardian, and he came out of a tree. What more do you want? I gave him the flower, and he sent me to find you. They're listening."

"Who?" Dymphna asked.

"The trees." I lay back down. "They're always listening, and they talk to each other." I closed my eyes. The rustling sounded more like whispers, echoes of words we had said to one another. "If we wait, someone will come. We'll help each other. Everything will work out."

"I think she's had too much sun," Drake said. "Or someone slipped her some wine."

"Smartarse."

"Uh." Bran jumped to his feet. "Maybe you should all look at this."

I sat up and looked in the direction of his pointing finger. A transparent woman was hanging out of a tree, beckoning us to her. "Get your things," I said. "This is what we've been waiting for."

We were ready within minutes. The woman was gone by then, but a couple of trees down, another was waiting. As we approached, she reached out and touched the next tree then shrank back into her own. Another spirit-like woman came out of that tree, and so it went on until we came to a patch of land that felt free of the blight and was covered in Brighid's flowers.

"What now?" Brendan asked as the women disappeared.

"Wait," I whispered.

"This is all I have left," a deep voice said.

I turned my head and saw the Guardian move toward us.

"This is the last patch of pure land, and it's because of the flowers."

"The blight is spreading," I said. "That's why we're here. We need your help."

"I'm the one who needs help," the Guardian said miserably. "I'm the one who's dying."

"There's a way to stop it," Drake said. "The First Tree. It cleans the darkness. Where is it?"

"The First Tree?" The Guardian hesitated. "Yes, it could be the key, but it's been lost to this place. Those trees couldn't exist here, not after the change."

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Then where can we find one? If we find them, we'll bring some back to the forest to help you restore the land. All we need is to know where."

"Across the water. That's where they came from, and that's where they'll be."

Brendan and Drake exchanged a worried glance.

"You mean across the sea," Rumble said. "The forbidden lands."

"So far away, yet not far enough for some," the Guardian acknowledged.

"Will it work?" Brendan asked. "If we find the trees, will they grow here?"

"For as long as they're needed," the Guardian said. "But it may be too late. It takes time for the earth to replenish, and most of us don't have that kind of time. Not anymore."

"We have to try." I looked at the Guardian. "Don't give up yet."

"Bring me the tree, and I won't have to." He retreated and disappeared, and I was looking at a tree once again.

"Well," I said. "That was interesting."

"We don't have ships," Drake said. "How are we going to get across the water?"

"We could build one," Bran said doubtfully.

"Buy one from the human realm," Rumble said.

"Yvette's family has a ship," Brendan said. "She made a point of telling me. I'll broker a deal with her if they don't offer it to us when we reach their land."

"We can't all go across the water," Drake said.

"No," Brendan said. "Only one of us should go. The others can bring the stone back to the rift, once we find it."

"Who goes on the ship?" I asked.

Brendan bowed his head. "I have no child or wife keeping me here. I will go across the sea."

My heart raced. "But it's dangerous."

"Living is dangerous," he said, smiling. "It will be an adventure, and the realm needs us to act. We need both the stone and the trees."

That was if either of them even worked. We were relying on the words of beings we assumed knew more than us.

"What if you can't find the First Tree?" I asked.

"I won't return until I do."

And I felt a piece of my heart crack at the words. If he left, he might never come back. But he was doing it so Drake and I didn't have to go.

***

I awoke feeling as though I were missing something. I sat up, frowning, and got up because I wasn't close to going back to sleep. Dubh had gone wandering, and everyone else was sound asleep.

I grabbed my bag and moved away from the others to rummage through my things and try to figure out what wasn't there. But everything was accounted for, and I even came across something I'd forgotten: the sword from Sadler's room of treasures and junk. I couldn't recall packing it.

"Looking for something?" Brendan asked, sitting next to me.

"Did I wake you? Sorry."

"Everyone else is asleep. What are you doing out here?"

I realised I was a good ways from camp. "I don't know. I woke up feeling weird, like I'd forgotten something. But then I found this."

"A badly made sword?"

I held it out, my arm steadier than it had ever been. Something about holding a weapon imbued me with confidence. "It's so light. It's perfect. I forgot all about it."

"Why do I want to touch it?"

His voice sounded so strained that I looked at him. He flexed his hands, his gaze on the sword.

"What are you on about?"

"I want to touch it so badly it hurts. Is it cursed?"

"Of course not," I scoffed.

"It might be cursed."

"Coward," I whispered because I was curious, too.

His eyes met mine at the dare. "I keep telling you you're trouble."

He laid his hand over mine, his larger fingers reaching the shaft. And then the sword changed.

I made to let go, but Brendan held on tight, his face full of wonder. The sword lengthened, widened, and sharpened, but it remained light to hold. The blade shimmered green, and the hilt became a jewelled masterpiece.

"This is it," he whispered. "This is the sword, Cara. This is the Claíomh Solais."

"The sword of victory? How could it be?"

"Didn't you see it? Didn't you just want to hold it? It woke us both, Cara. We felt it. It wanted to be seen."

"This was Sadler's," I said under my breath.

"He must have been collecting the treasures."

"He had this and the spear. What if he had the stone, and I got rid of it?"

"It would have called to you as the other items did. Besides, the stone would have ensured fertile land around your castle."

"My castle," I said with a surprised giggle. "Still sounds so crazy. What do we do with this?"

Brendan reluctantly let go. "You keep it, and when I'm gone, I'll know you're safe with this by your side."

"You don't have to go. We could send a group of soldiers on that ship."

"How can I ask other men to do something I'm afraid of?" he said gently. "Besides, you and Drake and the others risked your lives numerous times to save me from the Fade. The least I can do is a little life-risking of my own."

I looked at the sword. I didn't want to give it up, and maybe that was exactly why I needed to. "Take the sword with you. We don't know what kind of danger you'll face when you leave. At least take the sword and have a chance. Whoever wields it will never lose. We can't afford for you to lose."

"Only the worthy can wield the sword," he said flatly.

"You're worthy." I nudged him. "I know you are."

"Says she who refers to herself as just a human more often than not."

"Only to people stupid enough to listen to me. I don't want you to go, and you're going to go anyway, so don't turn me down twice. Take it." I held the sword out to him.

He gazed at it for a moment before giving me a mischievous glance, like a child about to do something wrong. Then his face fell. "I know where the spear is. I can't have this."

"What are you talking about?"

"We agreed one person can't have all of the treasures. It would be dishonest if I took this now."

I grabbed his hand and made him hold the hilt of the sword. "I trust you."

"You trust me with your life and with the treasures but not with your heart," he teased, but the look in his eyes was serious.

His attempt at humour fell flat. "I never learned how to do that, and when I tried, I got hurt. I believe you would never intentionally hurt me or Scarlet. That's enough for me."

"So you do trust me," he said as if looking for confirmation.

"I trust you—maybe more than anyone." It was myself I didn't trust. I didn't believe I would know when people meant what they said or if they wanted more than one night with me. I didn't trust myself to understand when I had been hanging on too long, or to have the sense to walk away at the right time. I wasn't equipped with those tools, so I didn't put myself in a position of needing to use them.

He frowned. "You used to speak your mind constantly. Now I have to figure you out. I find it troubling."

I pushed against his arm. "You already know me. Don't be silly."

He finally took the sword. It looked right in his hand. "But I'll be going soon. Out of sight, out of mind."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

His eyes glittered in the moonlight, and I was suddenly terrified of what I was feeling. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, and when he didn't, I felt disappointed—me, who had always been the one to push him away. But I wasn't the only one who had changed.

He stood up to leave. I reached up, took his hand, and held on, staring straight ahead of me. He waited.

"Be careful when you go away," I said. "It's better to be safe than brave."

"I'll have the sword, remember? What can go wrong?"

"Then don't forget to come back."

He squeezed my fingers and let go. He went back to camp, taking the sword with him. I wouldn't tell the others about it unless he did. I doubted Drake would understand. I was taking a lot of chances with Brendan. Maybe a small part of me was giving him enough rope to hang himself with. Maybe I was setting him up to disappoint me so I'd turn my back and harden my heart against him. But a growing part of me felt sure he wouldn't do anything to let me down.

***

We briefly separated so that Drake could check on his court and Brendan could organise a small force to accompany him across the water. He wasn't certain of volunteers, but he wasn't going to force anyone to travel with him. Rumble and I pressed on, unwilling to wait.

"What do you think?" I asked him as we rode. "About the treasures and everything else."

"Many fae are obsessed with old stories, myths, legends, and prophesies."

"Sadler once told me Deorad had some obsession with a prophesy. Maybe he had so many children because he thought one of them would turn out to fulfil it."

"Whatever reasons he had for doing the things he did, I doubt he truly understood them himself."

"Do you hate him?" I asked.

"No. I feel nothing for him. I was told early on I was nothing, attached to no one. He never played much of a part in my life."

"Do you hate Drake?"

He hesitated. "No, but I can't say I understand his actions."

"Join the club. I have to admit, I had hoped you two would get to know each other. You are half brothers, after all."

"It means nothing to him. And the more I know of him, the less I like him. Besides, you can't claim a family you've never known."

"I claim you," I said stubbornly. "You and Vix and everyone else. You're all Scarlet's family, and she's mine, so that makes you all mine, too."

His amusement came through in his voice. "You have a strange logic."

"I've been told. Here looks as good as anywhere."

We set up camp and waited for the others to find us. Rumble removed his helmet.

I smiled. "It's because I reminded you I own you, right?"

"I don't feel like a possession. At least not today. You gave him the sword, didn't you?"

I froze. "How did you know?"

"I suspected it might be the sword. I'm not so surprised that you gave it to him. You are..." He looked away.

"I am what?"

"It's not my place."

"I'm asking you what you think!"

He looked at me seriously. "I think that you find it hard to see the wrong in that man. I've heard the stories."

"Sadler's stories."

"And others. Be careful."

"He's always been a friend to me," I said, "when others weren't."

"Do you hate Drake?"

"Only sometimes. The more time I spend here, the more my anger dies away. I'm not sure why."

He didn't look convinced. To change the subject, I said, "Do you think the court even needs a queen? Why can't people vote on what happens? Why can't the advisers take care of everything?"

"You don't mean to return?"

"I have to return. I just mean... what do I know about running a kingdom that the rest of them don't? Nothing, that's what. It seems pointless even having me there when the advisers are the ones who figure out what's going on."

"I don't remember that happening. Perhaps, when we return, you'll see why you're needed."

"What does that mean?"

He shook his head. I meant to press him, but Drake and Brendan returned with four soldiers, plus Dymphna and Bran. I tried not to look concerned.

"Four?" I said. "Only four want to explore the world?"

"Five," Brendan said. "Bran's coming, too."

"You're taking Bran?" I said, aghast.

"It'll do him good. You mother him so."

"I do not mother him."

Bran looked from one of us to the other, his face flushing. "Can we not do this in front of everyone?"

I laughed at his obvious discomfort. "Sorry. Are we ready to get started then?"

"We might as well," Drake said. "We've a long journey ahead of us."

We moved on as a larger group, but I worried for the rest of the evening—about the court, about Brendan, about Scarlet, about all of us. The realm was dying, and even though we were trying, we still might not solve the problem in time.

It took us almost a week to get to Yvette's home. By then, the atmosphere between us had shifted into something less than pleasant.

As we approached Yvette's lands, Brendan held up his hand for everyone to stop. "Much has changed. This is nothing like I remember."

"Let's go and barter for a ship," Drake said impatiently. "I want to get this over and done with."

"Desperate to send me off?" Brendan asked sarcastically.

"There are worse things," Drake retorted.

"Don't you ever feel greedy?" Brendan asked, looking at Drake with a dangerous glare. "No matter what you have, you still want more."

"Okay!" I called out. "We're here. Let's do this before it gets dark. There are gates ahead, and we don't even know if we're welcome. Can we put whatever this is aside until later? Please."

Scowling, Brendan rode on in the lead. A huge wall rose up before us right in the middle of the forest. We rode to what looked to be the only gate. The sky grew dusky as we approached.

"Halt," a soldier on the wall said in a deep, commanding voice. "State your business."

As Brendan announced us, I peered through the gates. Brendan had described a craggy rock-edge of a place, but beyond the gates were lush fields. A road meandered toward what looked like a beautiful castle. And surrounding the castle were the shores of the realm. The sea brushed against the rocks as if in a caress, and the one longship in the bay barely moved against the current.

The soldiers opened the gates and welcomed us through. We made our way along the road, ready to meet Yvette's clan. I tried not to vomit.

Chapter Nineteen

On either side of us lay fields in the midst of exceptional growth. I smelled fruit.

"An orchard perhaps," Brendan said, noting my curiosity. "That wall stretched on out of sight. Who knows how much land is here?"

"And nobody knows where these people come from?"

"Offshoots of other families," he said, unconcerned. "Families spread and move on. It happens."

"I thought the fae didn't procreate enough for that."

"In the time I've been gone, a lot has happened." He pressed his lips together as if to say the conversation was over.

Well, whatever. If he wasn't going to be even the tiniest bit suspicious, I would do it for him. And it had nothing to do with any kind of jealousy.

We made it halfway down the road to the castle when Yvette came to greet us, accompanied by three of her women. She kept her focus on Brendan. Her eyes were sky blue—unnatural even for the fae—and her long lavender hair was in ringlets down her back. A riding cap was perched on her head at an angle, and as she rode sidesaddle on a silver-haired horse, the bracelets on her wrists chimed, sounding like an actual instrument.

"Greetings," she said pleasantly. "I wasn't expecting a visit. You've caught me unawares."

She didn't look as though she had been caught unawares. I frowned. I really needed to give her a chance. I couldn't afford to have another friend's partner hate me. A realisation hit me: I had rarely ever been liked by two halves of any couple, fae or human—even my own parents.

"You weren't exaggerating about the fruitfulness of this land," Brendan said. "It looks as though the blight never existed, and that's why we've come. We're told a stone may exist here that is keeping the land cleansed. We need to use that stone to heal the rift in the Fade. If you know its whereabouts, we would be most grateful to hear about it."

"A stone?" She smiled as if delighted. "I've never heard of a stone being here. You're welcome to search in the library, of course. I assume that's where a treasure would be kept."

I shifted in my seat. He'd mentioned a stone, not a treasure.

"I thank you," Brendan said. "Is there any one place here that's purer—noticeably purer—than the rest?"

"Only our lady," one of Yvette's women declared as the other giggled.

Ugh.

"Our land is equally clean," Yvette said softly, holding Brendan's gaze.

"We also need a ship," I blurted.

Yvette blinked. She looked at me then quickly back to Brendan. "Oh?"

"We're in search of a certain tree," he explained. "We've been informed it exists across the sea. I intend to search for it myself, but I need a ship."

"My ship." Somehow, Yvette had moved closer to Brendan without me noticing. She reached out and curled her fingers around his hand as he gripped the reins. "Only if I may accompany you."

"It's dangerous," Brendan said. "We have no way of knowing when I'll return or even if I'll return."

"I'd like to travel. That's my offer. Take it or leave it. You're all welcome to stay in my home while you search for the stone."

She turned abruptly and cantered back to the castle, closely followed by the other women.

"Well," Brendan said slowly, looking a little stunned. "We should follow her."

We headed down the road, barely keeping up with her retreat. I didn't want to watch Yvette wrap Brendan any more tightly around her little finger.

***

Yvette's castle was bigger and better than all the others, especially mine. I hadn't gotten a close look at Drake's home, but I had been told that Brendan's was the best in the land. Maybe a lot of fae hadn't seen Yvette's home.

Yvette asked her women to escort us all to our rooms, where we could rest and bathe. She personally led Brendan to his quarters in her wing of the castle.

Bran followed Rumble and me to our rooms.

"You get lost?" I asked.

"Brendan sent me. He doesn't need me here, he said." Bran looked desolate.

"Of course he doesn't need you. They want to marry him off to Yvette, not kill him." I tried to believe my own words.

The rooms were larger than mine had ever been, anywhere. I carried an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I couldn't pinpoint it; something just felt wrong.

The three of us ate together. I had a bath, and then a servant came to escort me to the library to begin my search. I couldn't keep track of the numerous turns and staircases. We moved from warmth straight into the bitter cold when we stepped from one hallway to the next.

"This is the old library," the servant finally said. "The rest of the castle was built around it."

Dymphna was waiting outside the door, her lips pressed together in a grim line.

"Rumble, Bran, wait with Dymphna," I said. "Watch out for anything weird."

"You're suspicious?" Dymphna asked, although she didn't sound surprised.

"Just..." I glanced over my shoulder as a prickle of apprehension ran down my back. "Let's be careful."

Inside the library, which turned out to be a multistoried maze, I found Drake.

"Where's Brendan?" I asked as he pored over an ancient-looking book on a massive table.

"With Yvette. It's just us."

The room was covered in shelves, and there were a number of staircases leading upwards. I stepped on one to look up, and I tried to count the levels. It seemed endless. Maybe I should have asked the others for help inside the library. At the rate I was going, we'd grow old and die in Yvette's library.

"Massive, isn't it?" Drake said. "I wasn't quite expecting this. Perhaps we should take a quick look now and find a way for the others to help without us getting in each other's way."

I shivered as a draught lifted my hair. The room was much colder than my quarters had been. I moved to the fireplace. The fire in the hearth was the same colour as Yvette's hair.

"I don't trust her," I whispered.

Drake closed the book with more vigour than necessary. "That's because she's taking Brendan's attention from you."

"No, it's because she's suspicious."

"Kings marry, Cara. That's how it works."

"Yeah, I've noticed." I dropped my gaze. "I'm sorry."

When I looked at him again, he was clutching the mantelpiece. I decided to try again.

"Don't you think it's a little odd how this place used to be an unliveable ruin, and now it's the only blight-free part of the realm?"

His violet eyes darkened. "No, I don't think it's odd."

"How she suddenly turns up with money and power behind her, but nobody really knows who these people are?"

He let out a weary sigh.

"She called it a treasure," I said. "She knew what Brendan meant when he said we needed to find a stone."

"Many nobles are familiar with faery lore."

"She just makes my skin crawl."

He clutched at his chest. "You are jealous."

"I'm a freaking queen," I said lightly. "What do I have to be jealous of?"

"You want him," he persisted. "And this is driving you crazy."

"Or maybe I don't want it to end up like you and me!" I blurted. "I hate this. We were friends. More than friends. And now we can barely have a conversation together. Your wife hates me, and everyone's always watching to see what we'll do, and every time I look at my daughter's face, all I see is you!"

He moved toward me. "You know how sorry I am."

"Sorry isn't magic. It can't fix how I feel—how I'll always feel. I made friends here, and now I've lost them all. Zoe's in the human realm. So are my grandparents. I have to keep away to protect them. Grim and Realtín are part of a rival court. I only get to see them when something is wrong. Anya's going to marry Arlen, who's decided he hates my guts, and Líle was so depressed she wanted me to give her a suicide mission, for fuck's sake."

"What did she—"

"It doesn't matter! The point is that I can't talk to you or Brendan, and the people in my own home want a queen, not a friend. I can't even feel happy without feeling guilty. Bekind's the only one who never goes away, and she spends more time as a cat than anything else. And I can't see her now because she's with my daughter. And I miss everyone. I miss Scarlet"—my voice broke on her name—"and I miss the way everything used to be. I'm so... so lonely."

He reached out for my hand. "We're all lonely. Brendan is. I am. The crown is a curse. I tried to protect you from it, but you misunderstood me. You thought I wanted the power."

"You acted as though you wanted the power."

"It's all an act. Haven't you learned yet? I have to hurt people and be cruel and distant. I have to stay away from people I care about because I need to be in control, and one small off-balance step could destroy my entire court. You feel like I've hurt you, and I'm truly sorry for every moment of pain I've caused you, but it's nothing compared to what the alternative could have been."

I slipped into a seat. He joined me at the table—the old Drake, for a change.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I admitted. "They wanted me for the wrong reasons. They think I can force you and Brendan to follow my lead, but I can't, and I don't even want to. They think I'll be pliable, that I'll sway when they ask for things. They bitch and moan, and I don't know who I can trust. The people who used to be on my side look at me the way they looked at Sadler. It's like... I think I'm doing my best, that I'm making good decisions, and then it backfires, and I'm the one to blame. I can't win."

"There are no winners. It's not as easy as Brendan makes it look."

I laughed, wiping away a stray tear. "They do seem to respect him most of the time."

"You earned a kingdom. They must respect you for that."

I blew out a shaky breath. "Do you remember when we asked Sadler's people to change sides?"

He nodded.

"The first one was a servant. She was probably the shortest, most terrified person there, and she was the first to walk over to my side."

"I remember her."

"When I was trapped with Sadler, she used to bring me food. She was so nervous of me, but she was sweet. I thought I could give her a better life this time. She slept in my room and took care of Scarlet and the other children. She made me call her Rat because she didn't have a real name. I still don't know why she was called Rat."

"Was?" he said softly.

I licked my lips, but they tasted like shame. "I told the court they were free men and women and said that Deorad's children were no longer nameless. I thought I was doing something good, but one of those free men decided to rape Rat when nobody else was around. She fought back because I'd told her she wasn't worthless, and he killed her. He killed her for no reason other than she stopped him from getting what he wanted. He thought he was entitled to her body because he was free."

"What did you do?"

I traced lines in the table, slowing down the admittance of guilt, as if that would change what had happened. "I cleaned her body myself. I cried. I made them all feel sorrow, and I made them sorry. And all the while, that man was outside, tied to stakes meant for the garden. I made him wait—made everyone wait—and then I marched out there and cut him open with a knife. My dagger. I held his gaze as I twisted the knife, but I didn't finish him off. I walked away and let him die slowly out there. And nobody tried to stop me. Nobody said a word about it." I looked at him. In for a penny... "And I didn't care. I was happy he died. It didn't feel right to let him walk around after what he did."

"How do you feel about it now?"

"I don't know. I think... I'm still glad he's dead and that I was the one to do it. I'm glad nobody stopped me. I was in control, I was in charge, and that felt better than I'd expected. And a part of me felt relieved. I didn't feel relief when Deorad died. He was too pathetic. I couldn't equate what he had done with the body lying on that bed. It was just his shell I'd destroyed. The real Deorad was long gone. Did you know I was the one who killed Reynard?"

He looked taken aback as he shook his head in answer.

"Well, I did. I chickened out, and he attacked me, and when I finally got the better of him, it felt right, as if I had made the world safer. And then I pretty much forgot he'd ever existed. With Sadler, I was too scared to feel anything. I panicked, and I couldn't let him live. I couldn't risk being trapped with him again—or worse, Scarlet being under his influence." My fingers trembled.

"I should have realised my mistake." He laid his hand on mine. "I should have warned you. I wanted information. I didn't truly want him to live. I made a lot of mistakes that day. If I had but spoken to you..."

But I still didn't think I could have let him take the Dark Court.

"Three enemies—three people I had good reason to hate—died by my hands without me feeling much of anything," I said softly. "Then this one faery, whose real name I didn't even know, died, and it felt like my world was suddenly complete. I was relieved and frightened by my own hate and a million other emotions I can't even begin to describe."

"Delayed reaction," he said.

"It looks like you were right about me. I have changed. I have lost the things that made me human."

"I wasn't right. Perhaps, in some part of your mind, you were killing men like Deorad and Sadler again and maybe even your own father."

"Biological or other?" I asked wryly.

"Both?" He squeezed my hand. "I know how much guilt you feel about your mother. How her life changed because of your birth—and even your conception. That man raped her, and you grew up to change the lives of all of them—your brother, your mother, and the man you knew as your father. Perhaps you were killing all of those memories when you took the life of Rat's murderer."

"Killing people isn't really a legitimate form of therapy, you know."

"We're in a dying realm that was cut away from the world that gave it life. You've had a lot of adjusting to do and a lot of guilt you needed to let go of."

"I just earned myself new guilt," I said. "How can that ever be good?"

"New guilt hasn't had years to chew you up."

The door opened, and he pulled his hand away and smoothed his expression.

"You really need to teach me the straight-face thing," I said under my breath.

The corner of his lip twitched. Bran stood at the door. "They've sent word that dinner is ready. We're to join Yvette and Brendan for the meal."

I exchanged a look with Drake before nodding, and we stood. "Thanks," I said before we left. "It was good to... talk."

He smiled, a glimpse of the real Drake shining through. "I had missed it."

I desperately wanted to tell him what I had seen in the mirror about Sorcha, but I just couldn't.

As we were led down winding corridors to have dinner, Rumble touched my arm. "I'll taste everything before you eat it."

"That's kind of rude."

"Better to be rude than dead."

"And who's to protect me when you're dead?"

He nodded at Bran. "The boy. The daoine sídhe wouldn't like to see a motherless child either."

I smiled. "It would be really stupid to poison me here in front of the kings."

"Or very clever, if you planned on getting rid of one of those kings, too."

"Brendan would be pissed," I said. "He wouldn't stand for that."

"He may not have a choice," Rumble murmured. "There are more soldiers in this castle than the Darkside. Imagine what's outside, patrolling the rest of their land. This is a place of great power and magic. Can't you feel it?"

I nodded. The library had cleared my head. The atmosphere had felt normal in there. Walking through the rest of the castle felt like a dream. I entered the dining room to see Yvette leaning over Brendan's shoulder and decided maybe "nightmare" was a better word for it.

Yvette looked surprised to see us. "I had almost forgotten we weren't alone."

"Find anything?" Brendan asked me.

My cheeks burned. "Uh, not yet."

He gave me an odd look. The dinner began. We, the guests, were the only ones at the table apart from Yvette and her women.

"Where are the rest of your family?" I asked as Rumble began the job of tasting everything in my cup and plate. Brendan watched him with a great deal of curiosity. My cheeks burned hotter.

Yvette tore her gaze away from Brendan long enough to wave her hand at me. "Oh, travelling."

"Will you wait for their return before you let Brendan take the ship?" Drake asked.

She frowned a little then gave him her attention. "I'll be taking the ship as soon as Brendan is ready to leave."

"I need to know we've found the stone first," he said.

"The library is huge," she said dismissively. "It'll take them an age to find anything in there."

I stiffened. Was that what she wanted? Maybe Drake was right. Maybe I was being too hard on her because of my own issues.

She smiled at me then, but it was a sly smile, the kind that hid something vile. "I trust the library was... comfortable enough for the both of you." Her tone was full of silent accusation, as though she thought she knew something about us.

"What?" I asked sharply.

She widened her eyes innocently. "The chairs. They are comfortable, aren't they? If not, I can send alternatives for you."

"They're fine," I managed to eke out through my clenched teeth. I wasn't being too hard on her. She was trouble. "Thank you, Rumble," I said loudly, drawing attention to the fact we didn't trust Yvette.

Brendan studied me with a condemnatory look. He was already turning against me. Sighing, I picked at my food. Finally, I rose to my feet. "I'm going back to the library. The sooner we find that stone, the better."

"She's so right," Yvette was saying as I left. "But finish your meal. I still have to give you that tour, remember?"

With clenched fists, I left the room with Rumble and Bran, having the awful feeling I was leaving Brendan in the den of a she-devil. But he was a grown-up, just like the rest of us. It wasn't my business. I just had to keep reminding myself of that.

Chapter Twenty

The next two days were spent exploring the library. Brendan was still occupied by Yvette's company, but since the bookcases stretched over numerous floors, the rest of us, including Brendan's team of soldiers, searched their length and breadth. The place was full of artefacts and books, and all of them existed in a castle Brendan hadn't even known existed until recently.

"How come they get to keep all of the cool stuff?" I asked as I poked at the glass case housing an eyeball that was larger than my head.

"Because they preserved it, probably." Dymphna stuck her head around a stack of books to look at me. "The queens were never interested in this, as far as I'm aware."

"Was Yvette friends with the queens then?" I wondered aloud.

"Gossiping again?" Brendan asked, startling me.

I looked at him, concerned by his red-rimmed eyes. The vitality was gone, and he looked weary.

"You look exhausted," I said. "Why do you look exhausted?"

"Because I haven't been sleeping." He frowned. "Why are you looking at me that way?"

I shrugged.

"And why have none of you come to dinner?"

"We're not invited," I said.

"Food simply appears here," Dymphna added.

"Besides," I said a little bitchily, "some of us don't have time for dinner dates."

Dymphna made a sound of agreement.

"Well, if the women are angry, I must be in the wrong," Brendan said, giving me his most charming smile.

I made a face and walked away, but he followed. "Haven't you found anything yet?"

"Haven't you seen the size of this place?" I gestured toward the staircase and upward. "We haven't seen Bran since yesterday. He's probably wandering around the book stacks, crying for help."

Brendan's eyebrows furrowed.

"She's joking," Dymphna called out. "She does that often."

Brendan's lips twitched. "I noticed."

"I don't think the stone is even here," I said, wiping sweat off my brow then realising I had just smeared my dusty hands all over my face. "Can't you sense how different this library feels from everywhere else here, Brendan?"

He sighed. "It does seem rather... uninspiring."

"We're supposed to be drawn to the stone. I'm not drawn to this place at all. In fact, I can't wait until we get back to the blight."

Brendan grinned. "How long have you been in this room, Cara? You sound quite demented. Besides, I won't be getting back to the blight. As soon as we find the stone, I'm getting on a ship, remember?"

My heart sank. I had almost forgotten.

"And if we don't find it?" Dymphna asked.

Brendan sighed. "I don't know." Then he entered into the search and got stuck in it along with the rest of us.

I opened countless boxes and bags and display units, but none of them held a stone of any kind, never mind the stone of destiny. Entire bookcases were empty as though the place had been cleared out long ago, but plenty of books and artefacts remained, and I spent way too much time flipping through old books with missing pages.

I found a glass case that contained a massive book that looked as though it were bound in skin. Intrigued for no other reason than extreme boredom, I lifted the glass lid and took a peek.

Archaic writing at the front of the book informed me that it was divided into sections, one of which was named, "The time the seas ran black."

I flicked to the last section only to find the pages had been torn out. I started to turn away but then saw that a small scrap remained. I read the words and shivered.

... Chaos. And all that remained was his reflection trapped in a golden mirror. Without a vessel, they could only send him to sleep, but She...

My heart raced in my chest. I tore out that scrap and shoved it into my pocket. Did it mean my mirror? And Líle had mentioned a vessel. But how could I ask her for more information without sending her back into the same dark state she had entered before? There had to be a way. It was becoming clear to me that the information we needed had been deliberately removed. But how could I blame Yvette with no proof? Brendan and Drake already thought I was being bitchy and jealous. And they might be right. Anyone could have torn pages out of an ancient book.

I wandered off, thinking hard, and came upon a narrow staircase I hadn't spotted before which hadn't been marked as searched. Sighing, I headed up, wishing I could fast-forward through time. The stairs led to a tiny room that only had enough space for one bookshelf on either side. Between those hung a floor-length painting covered with black cloth. Unable to stop myself, I pulled the cloth aside.

The painting was of a tall, muscular woman with red hair. She was a giantess with strong features and lifelike green eyes that saw into my soul.

"Wow," I whispered.

"Do you know who it is?" Brendan's voice came from behind me, making me jump.

I shook my head. "She's... I don't have the words for it."

"That's Brighid."

I made to turn around, but he held me in place, leaning his chin on top of my head. Brighid, the goddess. She looked strange and familiar all at once.

"I can't stop looking at her," I admitted.

"Nobody can," he said.

"Is that why they had the picture covered up?"

He laughed and held me tighter. "No. They just can't remove the picture from the wall. Only a follower of Brighid would let this go uncovered."

"I wouldn't cover it up."

"You're halfway converted," he teased. "You're Brighid's daughter, as far as some are concerned."

"It's not right that you banned a religion." I frowned. "Do you still do that?"

"I can't get away with it with you around. Everyone would just leave my court for yours, and I won't give you the satisfaction of taking them in."

I elbowed him in the gut. "You're so annoying sometimes."

He wrapped his arms around me to stop any further violence. "Oh, I wish you knew how annoying you were, Cara Kelly."

I relaxed against him. "Why was Sadler trying to collect the legendary treasures?"

"To give himself or his god more power," Brendan suggested. "Or perhaps to destroy another god. We'll never know."

"He's still controlling us," I said bitterly. "He's dead, and we're still twenty steps behind, trying to figure him out."

"We have a plan. I'll get the tree. You and Drake will find the stone. We'll seal the rift, and we'll plant the tree, and if we're lucky, we can do it all before the realm is destroyed."

"If we find the stone, we'll have three of the legendary treasures. That'll leave just one more. We could deal with Sadler's god for good."

"You're ambitious." He pressed me against the bookcase to face me. His bulky presence made the room seem like a wardrobe. "It's not so easy to find all of the treasures. If it was, Sadler would have accomplished it already. And a god could destroy us before we ever even—"

"Unless he's not free," I whispered urgently. "Grim told me there were old stories about the legendary treasures."

"He had our scribes searching for information, and Yvette has agreed to let them come here to further their research," Brendan said. "What of it?"

"I've been looking. There are references to it here, but I found nothing about the stories themselves because the pages are missing. It's as if history's been wiped clean."

"What are you saying?"

I gripped his shirt. "I'm saying be careful on that boat in case we're being purposely delayed."

"Yvette is helping us, Cara."

"She's holding an ultimatum over your head!"

"That's her family," he said. "Not her."

"Oh, yeah, her mysterious large and fertile family who are nowhere to be found. Don't you find any of this suspicious?"

"I'm finding you a little bit paranoid, to be truthful."

"And you keep going on about me trusting you?" I scoffed.

His bemused expression turned irritated. "Don't throw this back at me. You're the one who stole a third of my realm from right under my nose."

"Are you serious?" I pushed him away. "I've already explained that to you."

"You also told me you'd wish me luck if marrying Yvette made me happy. Now you're sabotaging it by trying to make me doubt her."

"I just want you to be safe. Is that so bloody terrible?"

"Maybe it is," he said under his breath, "if you can't make up your mind what you want from me."

"I know what I want from you," I snapped. "And I know we should be concentrating on fixing the mess we made, but if you're going to be so unreasonable then... why the hell are you laughing at me?"

He really was laughing. He choked it down, but he couldn't hide it. "Oh, nothing. I just realised something," he said, still laughing. "Never mind. Now let's get out from Brighid's gaze."

When lunch came, the servant seemed surprised to see Brendan. He hit the gong to alert even those on the uppermost floors of the library that food had arrived. Then he left us alone, but I wasn't too surprised when a couple of hours later, all of us got the summons to join Yvette for dinner.

Dusty and sweaty, we found our way to the dining room with Brendan's help. I couldn't get used to the maze of hallways—not that I particularly wanted to.

Yvette wrinkled her nose at our appearance. "Looks like you worked up a sweat," she said to me in her nasty-sweet tone.

I bit back a smart remark and nodded, taking a seat across from Drake.

"Oh," Yvette exclaimed as if she had just discovered something momentous. "Am I keeping you both?"

I gave her a puzzled look.

She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Oh, we all know about you two. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

"What secret would that be?" Everyone turned to look at me. I avoided their eyes, even when somebody murmured my name as if in warning.

"When the cat's away," she said softly. "I don't judge. Of course, I'll be more... loyal when I'm married."

My nails raked the table. "If you have something to say, spit it out."

Her smile turned deadly. "Well, you bore a child for him while married to another, and you killed your husband. You obviously have unfinished business together."

Drake slammed his glass on the table.

"Have some fucking respect," I spat, getting to my feet.

"Cara," Brendan said, but I couldn't look at him.

"I'm going. This is pointless."

"Where?" Yvette enquired as if she cared.

"To look for the stone."

"We'll all go back to the library in the morning," Brendan said.

"No," I said. "I mean I'm looking elsewhere. The stone isn't here, and I'm not going to listen to this for a moment longer."

"She's right," Drake said. "It's time to move on."

"The ship," Yvette said in a different kind of voice. "I'm taking it. Brendan, you're welcome to come with me."

"But the stone," he said.

"They can find the stone. They make a good pair, do they not?"

Brendan gave me a questioning look and waited for me to make my decision.

"We all have to do what's best for the realm," I said. "Thank you for the... hospitality, Yvette. I'll be sure to return the favour someday."

"Perhaps when I travel the realm on my honeymoon," she said, smirking.

I forced myself to smile. And then I had to leave the room before I punched Brendan's future queen right in the nose.

***

I was ready to set out early the next morning. We didn't have much to take with us. Rumble was as eager to leave as I was, but Bran seemed torn.

"He's your king," I said softly when he took a pack of supplies outside to load up on Dubh. "You volunteered to go with him."

He bit his lip. "It's different now. Everything's changing."

"We all have to make sacrifices. The blight can't last forever. We have to do things now to stop it."

He nodded and kissed my cheek then left. When I heard footsteps a few seconds later, I thought he had returned.

"Stop worrying, Bran," I said without looking. "Brendan will make sure you all come home safely."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence."

I whirled around to face Brendan. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to say goodbye, of course. Or am I in the bad books again?"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll try not to hate your wife in future, I swear."

He smiled. "For a moment, I thought... never mind."

"When are you leaving?"

"In a couple of days. Yvette is surprisingly eager to set sail now that you all are leaving."

I twisted the bracelet around my wrist. "You'll be careful though, right? The sword might look cool, but it won't make you invincible. No running into fights you could just as easily avoid."

"I'll try to remember that."

My stomach twisted. I inhaled sharply, feeling a sudden lump in my throat. "Maybe we should all go."

"If something happens, we'll need leaders safe at home," he said.

"Nothing will happen," I said, suddenly anxious.

For an instant, fear crossed his face.

I threw my arms around him. "I have to go."

He held on to me. "We'll meet again. All of us." He made a sound of dismay. "Are you crying? Why are you crying?"

"Usually, we don't get to say goodbye. I don't like goodbyes."

"Neither do I. So let's not say it."

I laughed through my tears and looked up at him. When he was around, I felt as if at least one of us knew what to do. Even when Brendan didn't, he acted as though he did. And now he was going away on a trip that very few fae would ever dare to do, with an awful bitch whom he would probably come home married to.

"You're really crying," he said in amazement. "Look at those tears."

I hiccupped. "Shut up."

He brushed my fringe away from my face with a smile. Before I could chicken out, I reached up on my tiptoes, drew him closer, and kissed him. He responded softly before pulling away and saying my name.

"It's okay. I know." I turned, grabbed my bag, and walked to the door. I hesitated in the doorway. "Don't get hurt."

And when I left, he didn't follow. But at least I had let him know I cared. It might not be good enough, but at least he would know if we never met again.

***

As soon as we left through the gate, I sighed with relief. We hadn't been welcome inside, and it was good to be out of there.

"Where are we going?" Dymphna asked.

"We can split up," I said. "We wasted too much time already. Drake, where were you thinking of going?"

He shrugged. "There are other clean spots on that map. Maybe the stone isn't as powerful as we thought, and one of the smaller patches is hiding it."

"I'm going to the human realm," I said, ignoring his surprised look. "I'm going to the Lia Fáil."

"The Watcher said it's a fake."

"Exactly. The best place to hide something is in the first place people brush off as being impossible. So what if the monument itself is fake? That doesn't mean the real thing isn't hidden there, too."

"You said yourself that the human realm is tainted," Dymphna said. "What makes you think the stone is there at all?"

"I just feel like I should go back. Besides, the taint hasn't affected the land the way it has here. Maybe that's because the stone is actually there."

"And you want to see your daughter," she said with a smile.

"Don't you?"

She nodded. "I would like to go to the human realm. Of course."

"We'll all go," Drake said. "If we don't find anything, we could try an old scribe who Donella claims has spent so many years writing down stories that he may have an answer to this question somewhere."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"In southern neutral territory. It won't take us long to find him."

"Should we go there first?"

"Your instincts have always been good. I'd like to see this monument, too," he said. "Dymphna, any idea where the nearest portal is?"

She took out a map she carried everywhere. It was pinpointed with the exact locations of portals and territory lines. "It's closer than neutral territory." Dymphna winced. "But it might be dangerous."

"How dangerous?" I asked.

"We'll almost certainly have a fight on our hands." She made another face. "We'll need to cross the blackthorns."

"Is it the only way?"

"If we want to save time. The second choice is safer but will take much longer. We'll end up walking in circles if the bogmen have anything to do with it."

"Unless we plan on sacrificing one of our group." Drake looked at me. "Are you willing?"

"Wait," I said. "What are the blackthorns?"

"A... less than welcoming place."

"Is it worth it?"

He smiled. "If you want to see your daughter tomorrow."

That did it. "Then let's go."

Chapter Twenty-One

Reaching the blackthorns was like stepping into another world. We walked off a patch of lush grass onto uneven, desiccated earth that burned under heat that appeared to come out of nowhere. Cracks had formed in the dirt. In all directions lay little mounds that opened up as though something had exploded. When Dymphna's horse stumbled, almost throwing the daoine sídhe, we got off and led the horses on foot.

"We're going to have to leave them here," Rumble said.

"I know," I whispered, not sure why it felt so wrong to raise my voice.

"Look at this place." Drake blocked his eyes from the sun to look around. "I was here once. It wasn't like this. It's as if every bit of moisture has been drained for miles."

"The sooner we leave here, the better," Dymphna said uneasily. "It feels like there are eyes on my back."

The back of my neck had been tingling since we'd stepped onto the cracked earth. I knew the feeling well.

Rumble's foot sank into the ground, sending dust upward. He wasn't hurt, but his misstep pointed to how difficult the terrain was. "We need to go back," I said. "The horses will die out here if we abandon them."

"We can rest ourselves, too," Drake said. "It's going to be a long walk."

"When we return, the horses will be long gone," Dymphna said.

"Someone will find them," Drake said. "They're good horses."

We moved back to the grassland we had left behind and took our loads off the horses.

"I have to leave you," I whispered to Dubh as I rubbed him down. "Stay safe."

He nibbled my hair, and I wondered how long he would wait for us. He was smarter than the other horses. He would survive even if they did not. I felt guilty, nonetheless, and I was glad Brendan's beautiful golden horse wasn't with us still.

When we sat down to camp, nobody was hungry. We picked at our food in silence.

"Can a single boat make it across the water?" I asked as the horses grazed.

"It will have to," Drake said.

"It's a sturdy-looking boat," Dymphna said reassuringly. "There's no reason they can't make it there and back unharmed."

"The lady Yvette seemed confident about the boat," Rumble said, giving me a meaningful look. "As though she had used it before."

"She hardly travelled across the sea," Drake said.

"Then why does she have a sailing boat?" Rumble asked.

"Dymphna, your people came from abroad originally. How far is the journey?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Nobody remembers. Perhaps nobody alive knows."

"Some of the Darksiders think that Sadler went across the sea."

"To do what?" Drake asked.

Rumble answered for me. "Sadler lived in the human realm and aged because he was addicted to human suffering. He forgot to go home. Somebody brought him back from there and cleaned him up, but he was never the same. He disappeared again, and when he returned, he was joined by the doctor and some others, and his heart was full of darkness. His veins were black, and the land began to turn black, too, more quickly than before."

"But the blackness came from the rift," Drake said. "Are you saying it came from Sadler first?"

"No," Rumble said. "Some say Sadler was baptised in the darkness and that he's the one who started the spread. But the Darkside began before Sadler's descent into madness. Perhaps he gave the darkness life and strength. He sent others to gather up Deorad and his children. Deorad was only too keen to help his father. Sadler was favoured by the queens, both of them, and they didn't notice when he made his home in the Darkside. Nobody knows the truth for sure, but some say he didn't come home alone but brought a demon with him. All I know is that he died a different man than he was when I first arrived."

"Do you believe in that story?" Drake was frowning, trying to digest it all.

"About a demon? No." Rumble removed his helmet and glanced at me. "But I believe he may have been under the influence of a powerful geis, enacted by a god. Perhaps Sadler asked for his grief to be destroyed or his guilt to be removed."

"What grief?" Dymphna asked.

"He grieved for the man he was and the woman his first wife had been. He grieved for the life that was, and the life that could have been. Some of the older members of court claim he even grieved for his old friend, Brendan."

Despite my hatred of Sadler, I thought that was pitiful. "The doctor goaded him and encouraged him, maybe even had a kind of power over him. There was one time, in his room, when Sadler seemed high on my fear. He said something about finding women that looked like his first wife but that it was I who reminded him of her. And he seemed so sad about that. There were moments when he acted like he had just remembered how he used to be, how he was supposed to be, but they never lasted long."

"Mostly, he was angry and spiteful, ready to punish the world. But you're right." Rumble looked at me. "At times, I saw the shadow of a decent man in there. But that man was slowly being destroyed by something far more dangerous and powerful."

"And yet you were loyal to him." Drake sounded disgusted.

"If it wasn't for Rumble, I'd be dead," I said sharply. Drake didn't even look at me. He was too busy studying Rumble's face.

"He was all I had," Rumble said. "I had nowhere else to go. And I wanted to live. I knew the time would come when I could perhaps help him. His worst enemy was his own reflection in the mirror."

"What do you believe is the truth about this god?" Dymphna asked.

"The god of death draws power from the dead." Rumble's voice had strangely softened. "The goddess of fertility draws power whenever a child is born. The god of the sea draws power from the waves themselves. And the god of chaos draws power from mayhem. There's never much more in the way of mayhem than a mad king who helps destroy the realm. That's the ultimate power for a god of chaos to siphon."

"How do we beat a god?" Drake muttered.

"With four legendary treasures." And I had just sent one across the sea. "Wait. Rumble, you said Sadler was accompanied by others when he returned. Who?"

"The doctor," he said. "The hunchback. The glaistig, if the rumours are to be believed. There were five, but I wasn't there. I never saw the others, and I'm not sure they were ever part of the court. They could have been killed, or they could have left."

"Wait, two more people from across the sea could be roaming freely?"

Rumble gave me a steady look. "And another is your adviser."

And the glaistig had vanished on the night I had acted as though my drink had been spiked. That shed some light on my conversation with Bart. I gazed at the fire. I had already known that Bart was from afar, but who did that leave, and were any of them loyal to this chaotic god?

"The doctor was the one with the power," I said. "He was the one in Sadler's ear, encouraging him. He was the one who hurt me."

"True," Rumble said. "But the ones from across the sea are capable of lies."

I shivered. "Did the mirror come from across the sea?"

"I don't know," Rumble said. "It simply appeared. And it disappears at will."

And for a sudden moment, I couldn't wait to get home and look at my reflection again. I thought of the scrap of paper in my pocket. Had the image staring back at me ever been my reflection?

***

The cracked earth was uneven and hard to walk on without tripping or catching a foot in the gaps. The heat was sweltering, even though it was night.

"We haven't seen anyone in a long time," I said, just to fill the oppressive silence.

"It's no wonder. This place is dead," Dymphna said.

It was dark, and the moon was clouded, which made the way even harder to move through. After two hours, we reached the first blackthorn tree.

"Are they supposed to look like this?" I wondered aloud.

"Definitely not," Drake said firmly.

The tree resembled upright firewood. The branches were spiky and parched. The wasteland continued into the blackthorn woods. The earth was less dry than in the area we had just passed through, as though all moisture were drained to this spot in order to keep the trees alive. But the trees were barely living. The first trees we passed were parched and white as bone. Some misshapen sticks lay beneath them, one twisted into the shape of a clutching hand. Shivering, I moved on, eager to reach the portal and get back to the human realm.

I took a sip of water, and the closest trees seemed to bend toward me as if gasping for a taste. With a fright, I dropped my water, and it spilled along the ground. The moisture was instantly drawn beneath the earth as if a mouth were directly under the surface, sucking it down.

There was a strange sound, as if a dozen twigs were cracking at the same time, and six figures leapt out in front of us, barring our way. Startled, I stepped back, right into Rumble. He gently lifted me out of his way and positioned himself so as to guard me.

The creatures looked as though they were made of wood. Their feet were blackened and rotting, and their arms were dry, cracked twigs. One tried to run at us and broke, falling in twisted pieces. It sank its wooden arms into the ground to haul itself closer.

The clouds passed, and the beam of a full lilac moon sent a sheet of glimmering light over us.

"The lunantisídhe," Drake whispered. "They don't remember me."

The earth we stood on was full of the blight. Dried black stains marred many of the wide cracks. The lunantisídhe came closer, aggressive in their dying state.

"Hold," a woman's voice said. "She gave the forest a gift. We don't harm the generous, not even now—not even if they didn't intend the gift."

Beyond the spiky stick men, in the shadows of the trees, a woman's shape slowly formed before my eyes. Her tangled white hair reached her feet, and the curvature of her spine made her look tiny. She gripped a walking stick, and a massive albino raven sat on her shoulders.

"A witch," Dymphna muttered under her breath.

"A witch, am I?" the old woman called out. "So some say. Others call me a guardian. But few call me anything anymore. My blackthorns are forgotten, and so the realm dies."

Drake held out his water with a steady hand. He let it spill to the earth. The lunantisídhe moved out of our way. Dymphna followed suit, but Rumble stepped past them and offered the water to the woman.

She took it, a strange smile on her lips. "Come, children. We have guests." She beckoned us forward.

The others hesitated, but I was dying to know more, so I took the lead.

"We're looking for a portal," Drake said when we reached the old woman.

"And I'm looking for answers," the woman said smartly. "My needs shall lead to your desires."

She led us deeper into the forest. "You have horses."

"We left them on the plains," Drake said.

She reached up and touched the raven. "Make them stay. We'll take care of them." The raven flew up into the air and was soon out of sight.

We reached a little hut. The land was as black there as anywhere I had seen. The woman settled into a little chair and beckoned for us to sit at her feet. Rumble and I did so willingly. Drake and Dymphna hesitated.

The woman looked at me. "You're the one who will answer me. And tell me no lies. I'll smell them."

"She's a queen," Drake said in a haughty tone. "You won't direct her."

"She's a human first," the old woman said, locking gazes with me. "And I know her face. I saw it in the moon. I saw it in the leaves when we had some. I see her face in my death. And in the blackthorn's reawakening." She stretched out her arms. "We sit under the branches of the first blackthorn tree. If it dies, so do all the others. When trees die in the faery realm, the end of days approaches."

"Nonsense," Drake said, but he didn't sound sure.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Are you going to end the blight?"

In her eyes, I saw a world stretched out beyond. I blinked rapidly, and I only saw her beady black eyes again. "I'm trying to. We're looking for the Lia Fáil, the stone of destiny. It could close the rift. Our friend is looking for the First Tree, the one that can cleanse the earth."

She tutted. "Treating the symptoms not the cause. The First Tree won't grow here. Do you know, I saw Sadler once."

"In the leaves or the moon?" Drake asked scathingly.

"Face-to-face." She turned her head and looked at him. "I saw you, too, when you were a lost little boy. You still haven't found what you were looking for, and now it's out of your reach."

"My father is dead. It may not have been by my hand, but I found what I was looking for."

"Symptoms," she said with a snort. "Some things never change." She turned to me again. "Sadler came here to destroy me because he knew my tongue could give him away. He cut off the water, poisoned the earth, and made sure nobody wanted to venture here again. Then he locked himself away in his little castle and played with his toys."

"I'm sorry," I said, unsure of what else to say.

"I don't want sorry," the old woman said. "I want a promise. Treat the cause, Cara Kelly. One way or another, treat the cause."

"I don't know what that means."

"Then may the goddess help us all." She stood abruptly. "I may be dead by the time you return. Until that day, I'll take care of the horses as if they were part of my forest."

"Why don't you leave?" I asked. "Go somewhere less tainted?"

"This is where I belong. I could survive outside of here, but the woods would die as soon as I left. We're as one while I'm here." She drank deeply from Rumble's water. "And I thank you for the extra few days." She pointed a hand. "The portal is an hour in that direction. Everything out there is dead, so you'll come to no harm."

My companions stood and followed her direction, but she grabbed my shoulder before I could move. Her black eyes turned white, and her grip felt as if it would bruise my skin. "Hard choices," she murmured. "Always choices. That's your punishment, a punishment you're not even old enough to have learned. You'll have to choose between friends, between enemies, and between outcomes. And you can't avoid the paying a price for your choices. Our fate lies in the hands of humans, as it always has. But beware the voices. They will mislead you. The words will spit from the mouths of those you trust and those you don't, and the words you listen to will be the ones that change our fate. We are dying, and the voice we need is silent. The gods have already played their hands, and now we wait. We wait for—" Her head shot back, and her eyes turned black again. When she looked at me, she said, "Well, what are you waiting for? The portal's that way."

Unsettled, I ran after the others. The old woman didn't even seem to realise that something had happened. Neither did anyone else. It was as though only my eyes had seen it. The stick men crept after us, but none of them came close enough to harm us with those pointed wooden fingers.

Still, we hurried after that and made it to the portal in record time. It blurred at the edge of a cliff with a dangerous drop. If it didn't work, we were all doomed.

"Any idea where we'll come out?" I asked.

"We'll find the stone first." Drake gave me a look I didn't recognise. "And then you'll get to see your friends again."

Dymphna passed through soundlessly. One second she was there, and the next, she was gone. When the wind blew, I thought I saw a glimpse of her form through the portal, but it might have been my imagination.

I could barely see the portal, so I gripped Rumble's sleeve and closed my eyes, letting him lead me through. A rush of air lifted my hair, and a shiver ran down my spine as I half expected to drop off the cliff, but then we were through. Dawn was slowly approaching, and we were in a field, surrounded by flowers I didn't recognise.

"This way," Dymphna said excitedly. "We need to go this way."

I pulled my hood up over my hair and hoped we would make it before the sun finished rising.

Chapter Twenty-Two

We set foot on the hill of Tara when the sky was dashed with red-and-pink light. And as soon as we stood on the grass, I knew that the stone of destiny had to be here. Something in the breeze vibrated. Drake's eyes were bright and eager, and I knew he felt it, too.

"It's not just me, right?" I sensed the same pull that the so-called spear and the sword held over me. "It's here, and it wants to be found."

"We're on the right path," Drake said, his eyes closing in a moment of relief.

I knew how he felt. Wondering if I was doing the right thing had become a solid part of my daily routine.

We proceeded, and I drew in a breath to steady myself, knowing that ancient beings had stepped on the same piece of earth as we were walking on. A part of history surrounded us. I wondered if there had been a time when Tara existed in the realm of the fae.

The Lia Fáil was also known as the inauguration mound, a place where kings, perhaps human and fae, had stood for their crowning. It resembled a massive sundial. When we stood around it, nobody said a word for a moment.

"Do you think this could be it?" Dymphna asked as the wind picked up, sending my hair across my face.

I reached out, intending to touch it, then dropped my hand in dismay. It was awe inspiring, but I felt no magic. I walked around in a circle, and the back of my neck prickled. "It's somewhere here. I just know it is."

Drake and I stepped forward as one, coming to a stop on the slabs circling the monument.

"No singing," he said lightly, but I caught a flash of disappointment in his expression. "It used to sing for true kings."

"Neither of us belong here," I whispered.

He reached out and brushed his fingers against mine then stepped to the other side of the stone, looking around for some sign of a hiding place.

"It's here." Kneeling, I slid my fingers across the slabs. They were cold and lifeless, as expected. Drake did the same on his side, and we continued until we met up. My hand touched the final slab, and I jumped away, shocked.

"What is it?" Drake touched the slab, but he withstood any shocks he might have been experiencing. He pushed hard, and as if set on a spring, the slab slid neatly upward.

And under the slab was a plain, moss-coloured stone. Drake lifted it out and hefted it in his hand. He glanced at me and shrugged. It looked so... ordinary.

But I understood what Brendan meant about the sword. My first view of the stone had been disappointing, but as soon as Drake held it in his hands, an ache had formed in my chest. I wanted it. I needed it.

I reached out, and even as I was moving, I felt the stone calling me to it. Drake opened his palm flat to let me touch it. When I did, it changed shape. The stone flattened and stretched, even changed colour, until it looked like an ancient tablet. Engravings spread across the surface as we watched. At first, they were hard to make out. But then I realised flashes of images were morphing into something different before we could even register the original shapes. I thought I saw a green sword and maybe an underwater cave, but it was hard to focus when the movements were so fast.

The last image was of the monument we were kneeling next to. And then the tablet cleared, and across the blank surface, one black line slowly etched out a new picture. Drake and I exchanged an excited glance. What would we see?

Finally, the image developed into the exact same picture the Watcher had shown us except that underneath the cross extended a series of squiggles that I eventually realised were roots of a tree. The others came to see, and before our eyes, the roots turned black then broke away. Dark flakes fell off the tablet. And then it shrank back into an unassuming stone.

"That was... something," Dymphna said.

Drake looked at me. "We did it. We found it. You were right, Cara. It was here all the time."

The wind howled, making me uneasy. "We should go. If we're going to see everyone before we return, we need to be quick."

He helped me to my feet as the others stepped away. "Take it," he murmured. "Take the stone."

I thought of Brendan with the sword and shook my head. "You can hold on to it." I blinked a couple of times, unsettled by the intensity in his violet eyes. "I trust you to take good care of it."

A breath rushed out of him, and I realised he was relieved.

"You believe me," he said. "You understand the things I did."

"I'm not sure I'll ever understand everything, Drake. But I don't think you're going to gather the treasures and become a faery dictator, either."

"I'll take it when the rift is closed. You'll be on Dubh. If anything happens, at least you'll be able to get away with the stone. For now, that's more important than anything else."

"Then you'll have it when we're done. Take good care of it."

His smile was wistful. "Thank you. Not for the stone—for not hating me."

I felt sick. "As soon as we go back, you'll be the same again. Worse, even. And if you have a child with Sorcha..."

"Scarlet won't be in danger," he said firmly. "I promise you."

Faery promises meant nothing and everything. "Let's go. I need to hold my baby."

But as we travelled away from Tara, out of Meath, and back to Dublin, something bugged me. The sword didn't reveal itself until Brendan and I were both holding it. The stone didn't reveal itself until Drake and I were both touching it. And the spear hadn't revealed itself to me at all. Did that mean we had to wait until the thing was ready to show itself, or that we needed two of us to unleash the power? If the latter was the case, perhaps that meant Drake and I were true royals, and even the legendary treasures accepted us as well as Brendan.

***

I ran to my grandparents' front door, leaving the others to catch up. It opened before I even reached it. Arms welcomed me inside, and the hounds nibbled excitedly at my ankles, but I only had eyes for one: Scarlet. She was bigger already, and her hair had even lengthened. How long would I be away from her? I held her close to me, ignoring her struggles to get onto her feet and walk. I inhaled her scent and felt I was home because home was wherever she was.

"I'm sorry. I need a few minutes with her. I'll be back." I ran upstairs and let the others deal with the storytelling. I just wanted a few selfish moments with my baby—that was all. I sat on my old bed and just looked at her for a moment. The teardrop in her eye hadn't changed, and her readiness to smile hadn't lessened. She babbled something that sounded like real words, and I knew that the next time I saw her, she would be a completely different child.

"I'm doing this for you," I whispered as she tried to take my dagger out. I took her hand and kissed her fingers. She laughed and threw herself at me. She loved everyone, and I wasn't sure sometimes if she loved me any better than anyone else, but I didn't care. I only had eyes for her.

A soft knock at the door came a few minutes later. "Come in," I said, annoyed.

To my surprise, Drake walked in. I sat up straighter.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Can I just... can I just watch her?"

I held on to her, shielding her from the pain he would bring her, and then realised that wasn't fair. I moved aside and gestured for him to sit. At first, he sat at the edge of the bed, but then he inched closer.

"Let her see your wings," I said, trying not to smile. "She likes wings."

He smiled. "Like mother, like daughter." He knelt on the bed and released his cloak. His wings sprang to life, glittering in the dull light. Scarlet's eyes immediately locked on to the pretty sparkling, and she tried to grab him. I caught her hand just in time.

"Softly," I said. "Be gentle. There, there." I showed her how to touch them without damaging them. She copied me as best she could, and when I looked up at Drake, he had tears in his eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked, feeling a lump in my own throat.

He shook his head, still kneeling there, frozen to the spot. He looked so lost and overwhelmed that I felt sorry for him.

I moved onto my knees, lifting Scarlet into my arms. She was too fascinated by the rapidly moving wings to protest. "Do you want to hold her?" I asked, even though it felt like cutting out my heart and handing it to him.

He nodded although he seemed unsure. I held her out to him, but he wrapped his arms around both of us and just held us to him. Tears filled my eyes as he spoke in the most heart-wrenching voice I had ever heard. "She was right. The witch of the blackthorns knew me better than I knew myself. The symptoms, not the cause."

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I stayed silent.

"I really wanted a family," he admitted. "Unconditional love and trust... but I thought I wanted to kill those who took it from me. I thought revenge would make the pain go away. I didn't realise that I made my own family, and I gave it away." He trembled with emotion. "She'll never call me father. She'll never be proud of me or look up to me or even respect me."

"You don't know how she'll feel. She might be better at understanding than I am."

"I thought I was doing right by you, but I've made the worst mistakes, haven't I?"

"It's done now," I said gently, actually able to move past the anger. "We never really knew each other. It couldn't have worked. I know that now."

"The king can't love her," he said, his voice shaking. "The king can't love either of you."

"We love each other enough. We don't need a king to take care of us."

"I've never seen anything like her. And if I favour her, others will use her to hurt me." He let out a harsh laugh. "What kind of child will a banshee give me? Not one who smiles but one who brings death. How can I love a creature like that?"

"Don't say that." I pulled away. "You can't blame children for the mistakes of their parents."

"That's what happened to you," he said dully.

"Forget that. You can't be that person, either. You'll love any child Sorcha has."

"What if I can't? What if I only want this one?"

His words were scaring me. "You can always see Scarlet," I said. "I won't stop you from getting to know her. I won't ever ask you to keep away. That'll be her decision to make when she's old enough. I want what's best for her, and I know what it's like to not understand where we come from. You do, too."

"I thought you didn't want me to have a child with Sorcha because you loved me. But I was wrong. You don't want me to replace Scarlet."

"You won't do that," I said firmly. "And I already love her enough for the two of us, so she won't be missing out even if you aren't there for her. Just don't make her promises you can't keep."

He nodded and let go of me to wipe his face dry. "No wonder we think love is weakness," he said unhappily.

"You can change things. Look how much we've already changed in the last couple of years. If you can't be her dad, then maybe you can be her friend someday."

"And you? Can I be your friend someday?"

I had gone through so much that I couldn't say no. I didn't want to lose any more friends, and I knew he couldn't make any promises, but that was okay. I couldn't promise him anything, either. But maybe between us, we could give Scarlet what she needed.

***

We headed back downstairs. I hugged my grandparents then Bekind and finally turned to Zoe. "I'm glad you're here."

She made a face at Bekind. "Yeah, I'm glad you're here, too. Something happened."

"What's wrong?"

Vix made a sound of disgust. "That fae you sent to us ran away, leaving her baby behind."

"What? Marie left the child? Here?"

"Stop it," Zoe said to Vix. "You know as well as I do that she was terrified."

"Terrified? Of what?" I asked.

"Fiadh, of course," Vix said. "She thinks the child is safer under your care."

"Where's the baby?"

"Here." Líle came into the living room and handed the child to me.

She was so light, so small, and the taint had gripped her thoroughly. Her eyes were dull grey, and her hair was almost as dark as Scarlet's. "Poor thing," I said. "I don't know why Marie's so scared. Is postnatal depression a thing for faeries?"

Vix rolled her eyes. "Are you being purposely foolish?"

"Vix," Rumble warned, "watch your mouth."

"But she doesn't get it," Vix complained. She looked at me. "Where's Fiadh now?"

I frowned. "At court? Or taking back her land."

"And how do you think she's going to do that?" Vix asked.

"Glic is dead. It won't take much." I rocked the baby in my arms. "She just needs to show up."

"Show up." Vix snorted. "And what about all of those children of Glic, the ones with claims on Setanta's heritage?"

"It's Fiadh's home."

"Was Fiadh's home," Bekind added. "Sadler gave it to Glic. Any one of his children could make claim to it."

I held the baby a little tighter. "What are you saying?"

Vix looked exasperated. "She's gone to kill them all. Every one of them. That's why Marie ran. She'll die, too."

"She thought the child would be safe here and that Fiadh wouldn't think to look here for a child of Glic—for a contender to what should be her son's," Bekind said gently.

"She wouldn't kill a baby," I said. "She's a mother."

"She's a Darksider," Drake said.

"She's a faery," Bekind said.

Vix shot both of them a dirty look. "She's a noble."

My insides roiled. "We have to stop her. Why didn't I see this?"

Dymphna shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I admit, I didn't think Fiadh capable of killing babies, but looking back, I see how she would go down this path."

"It's too late to stop her," Rumble said. "She was already planning to leave when I left the court."

I sank into a chair, still staring at the child in my arms. "We can't let her kill this child then. If I'm too late for the others, I can still save this one."

"She might die anyway," Vix said brusquely.

"Do you ever shut up?" I snapped.

"She's been ill," Bekind explained. "Her legs trouble her, the Miacha have said."

"Can they help her?" I demanded.

"Only so far," Bekind said.

"Scarlet helps her," Zoe said. "She's happier when Scarlet's nearby. It's like... she forgets the pain or something."

"Right." Of course Scarlet helped her. Scarlet helped everyone. My baby was the freaking miracle cure. And this baby would die if we didn't help her. "There's only one thing for it then."

"What's that?" Líle asked.

"I'm just going to have to make this baby my daughter, too."

"Cara," Zoe exclaimed. "You can't just go around picking up stray children."

"You said it yourself. Scarlet makes her better. She can be her playmate, her companion, and if she's mine, Fiadh won't dare touch her."

"That's a wonderful idea, my dear," Gran said. "But are you sure you want to look after another baby?"

I gazed down at the weakly child in my arms. She wasn't pretty or endearing like Scarlet. There was nothing easy and loveable about her. And that brought out a protective instinct in me. Nobody else would love this child, so I was determined to. For better or worse, if I wanted to teach the Darksiders how to behave, I had to lead by example.

"I'm keeping her," I said, "until Marie comes back for her, and then we'll see what happens."

"She doesn't even have a name," Vix scoffed.

"That doesn't mean I can't give her one." I pursed my lips. "Marie talked about the name Liliana, so we'll call her that. As soon as I come back, I'll sort everything out."

"We should go," Drake said.

"At least stay for dinner," Gran said pleadingly.

I looked at Drake, and he shrugged. "An hour or two won't hurt."

Setanta was napping, and Dymphna spent some time alone with Eithne. I managed to grab a few minutes with Zoe, Bekind, and my grandparents in the kitchen. I sat on a chair, Scarlet on my knee and the newly named Liliana in one arm. The hounds lay at my feet, uncomfortably heavy. They had definitely been fed in my absence.

I sighed at how comfortable I felt with two children in my arms. "This got strange quick."

"I take it that's Scarlet's father out there," Gran said.

I nodded, suddenly exhausted.

"I can tell him to leave," Granddad said.

"It's okay. I'm all right with him being here. I can handle that at least."

We caught each other up on what we had missed.

"No trouble here, thank God," Zoe said. "Scarlet's been good as always, but little Eithne is the ringleader. She's the troublemaker."

I laughed. The normality of it all was so comforting.

"You're really going to keep that baby?" Zoe asked. "She cries a lot, you know."

"Babies tend to," I said dryly.

"Scarlet didn't," she retorted.

"Scarlet will always have people who love her." I held Zoe's gaze. "This one needs all the help she can get."

"I feel bad for her," Zoe admitted. "But it still seems strange to just take her in."

"What else am I going to do? It's just until I can sort out this situation with Fiadh and Marie." I just had to figure out how.

Before long, we were all squashed around the kitchen table for a shared dinner.

Líle looked at me. "You said you left with Brendan and Bran. Where are they now?"

I tried not to frown. "They've gone across the sea. With Yvette. On her boat."

Líle gave me a curious look. "Across the sea is not the usual honeymoon destination."

"Yeah, well, life's gone a bit crazy. We heard the First Tree might be there, so he's going, and he's not coming back until he finds it. I think that means a brownie might be in charge of the realm for a while."

To my surprise, Bekind laughed aloud.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head, but she had to wipe tears from her eyes. "Nothing, nothing. Carry on."

"Anyway," I said with a scowl, "we have to go to the Fade again and see if we can figure this stone out."

"If it works, will the realm be fixed?" Anya asked.

Dymphna wrapped her arm around her daughter. "Let's hope it goes a ways to healing the land."

"At the very least, it could prevent more of the blight from spreading," Drake said. "But we'll need the trees to clear the existing blight."

"And then what?" Gran asked. "Does everything go back to normal?"

"Likely not," Rumble said.

I went to the sink to pour out a glass of water. I was starting to worry that the stone wouldn't work on the rift without Brendan.

A hand on my shoulder startled me—Bekind. She led me out of the kitchen and away from the others. "You're upset because he's gone," she said in a scolding tone.

"What? No! I'm just... worried."

She cupped my cheek, and I could see she worried for me. "There was a time when I thought he would be good for you—the big, brash king, as you called him. But you chose Drake, and you let yourself get heartbroken. I've watched you suffer all this time. I've watched a piece of you that came to life on the very night you realised the fae were real wither and die because you learned that there are no happy endings. Don't let another one do the same to you. Don't let yourself be crushed when you see him with a wife by his side."

I blinked back sudden tears. "There are more important things going on right now, Bekind."

"I know," she said softly. "But you and your precious girl are the most important things to me. I love you both, and I don't want you to feel any more pain because of me."

"How is it because of you?" I was astonished that she was talking about love in that tone of voice.

"I let them take you. I wanted them to take you. I wanted there to be a child. I needed you to be a part of that world. And I regret it. I've put you in so much danger. After Sadler, I thought you would never smile again, but you did, and you got back on your feet, and you hardened yourself. Now, after a short time with Brendan, he has broken through again. In another life, it would be meant to be, I think. But in this life, it can only bring trouble if he's supposed to marry someone else."

"I haven't gone near Drake," I said. "I let him go. Why wouldn't I do the same with Brendan?"

She gave me a knowing smile. "As much as people like to forget, those two were never the same. Not even close. You have to remember that she is intent on marrying him, and if she's with him, away from home, then she will do everything she can to keep him. As soon as he stepped onto that boat, he was gone."

I swallowed hard. "I know, Bekind. I don't want anything from him or anyone."

"You tell me that, but we both know it's a lie. Give yourself time. There's so much to see in the world. You don't have to set your heart on any one thing or person or place. You can travel with Scarlet and me. When the land is healed, there'll be so much to see."

"Are you scared I'll leave you or something?" I said, trying to tease but coming off harsh.

"Yes. But you're so young, and you haven't had peace ever in your life. You're going to live a long time in the faery realm, and you'll need to find your place in both worlds when this is over—your place and Scarlet's. Find you before you give your heart away completely."

I was able to smile then. "I've given it away completely already. To her. To Scarlet."

She bit her lip. "Everyone needs a different kind of comfort sometimes. I just want you to know that I'll be here for you when things get hard. When Scarlet's father claims another woman's child, and Brendan's not there to dry your eyes, you should know you have me and so many others."

"I thought I wanted you to open up, but your emotional side is terrifying me."

We laughed and hugged, and she drew me back into the kitchen with the others. But I couldn't forget her words. When Drake had his "real" son or daughter, and Brendan had a new wife, where would I be? Left in the Darkside with people who would be disappointed that the kings had forgotten me. And then what would happen to us?

Chapter Twenty-Three

The others pretended not to notice my tears when we left, but Drake held my hand as we stepped through the portal back to the blackthorn forest. In the human realm, we had gathered up bottled water for the witch or guardian or whatever she was. She watched us approach. The stick men were all gone.

"Only on a full moon," Dymphna said in answer to my unspoken question. "They only come to life under the moon. And even then, they looked to be dying."

"You could make it rain," I whispered to Drake as we walked. "You can alter the weather and help them."

"I can't." He looked doubtful. "That was with Brendan, and I struggled."

"That's because you were fighting against Sadler's magic."

"The old woman said Sadler's magic caused this drought."

"But he's dead. He's not maintaining it. It just is. You could change it for them."

He gave me a sideward glance. "Why do you always want to help everyone?"

"Why don't you anymore?"

He sighed as I pushed ahead of him.

We gave the old woman the water. "Don't waste your time on the dying," she said even as she looked longingly at the water.

"You're not dead yet," I said firmly. "I'll find a way to get water to you."

"We could try," Drake said, surprising me. "You and me together. We could maybe make it rain for a little while."

"Me?" I touched my throat. "I don't have that kind of magic."

"You feed us with your emotions. And you have the power of the Darkside behind you. We could do anything together now."

So, I fed them. A regular mother of the people I was turning out to be.

"The blight will kill us eventually," the old woman said. "But the drought will be quicker."

"She already told you she was going to find a way to stop the blight," Rumble said.

"And I believe she'll try," the old woman said. "But she might be too late."

"I don't like to give up." I grinned. "I'm optimistic that way. It's one of my human faults. Let's do it, Drake."

He pulled me away from the others.

"But, um, how exactly do we do this?" I asked.

He laughed. "The confidence is gone already? We'll figure it out. I'll try to start, and you just... I don't know, support me. Add to it. Flood me with emotion. This will only last for as long as we're here, but it'll be something."

He rolled his shoulders back and flexed his limbs. When he caught me staring, he tried to smile, but I could see how tense he was. He was terrified of failing without Brendan, I realised. How tightly the three of us were connected, whether we liked it or not.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath then held his hands out, palms upright. I hesitantly placed mine against his and followed suit. I sensed the others watching, but at least if we made fools of ourselves, we had a small audience.

It seemed as if nothing was happening, but then I felt a tingle in my palms. I imagined I could smell fresh rain, but the air was as warm and dry as always. Everyone kept saying I had the power of my fae behind me, but I didn't know how to wield it—at least, not deliberately.

But I did know how to feel. Maybe if I imagined feeling the rain, it would help. "It rained the day we went to the beach," I said under my breath.

"Hmm?"

"The day I talked about in the tunnel. There was a sun shower. It was warm, almost like this, and the rain was cool against my skin. Scarlet and I danced in the rain while Anya hid under a canopy. The raindrops felt like kisses. They tickled. It was—"

I gasped as I felt a few drops of water on my cheeks.

"Hold on," Drake said, laughing. "It's just starting."

He held my hands as I threw back my head and looked up at the sky. The rain was cool and clean, and we had caused it to happen.

"See?" I cried as the rain drenched my hair. "You didn't need him."

The shower grew heavier, and I let go of Drake to twirl around.

Dymphna was laughing, and the witch held out her hands, a look of rapture on her face. I expected the ground to get soft, but it had been so hardened that the rain barely had a chance to wet the surface before it was sucked under.

The air shifted when Drake stopped projecting his magic, but the rain still fell. The old woman cooed to the trees, completely ignoring us.

"We should move on," Rumble said.

We were all in agreement. We headed back toward the horses.

I looked over my shoulder to see the white raven return to the woman. She didn't look so old anymore. She lifted her hand as if to acknowledge me. Drake asked me a question and distracted me. When I looked back a second time, the woman was gone.

My feet were blistered, but the cool rain stopped me from sweating at least. It died away, but not before the blackthorns had gotten a badly needed drink. I was determined to maintain a supply of water for the witch until we fixed the realm. We had to do something to help the fae who were suffering because of Sadler's actions. Maybe, when everything was over, I would take Bekind up on her offer to travel the realm, if only to get to know the place and its people a little better.

"We need to reach Grim and let him know we have the stone and what became of Brendan," Drake said as we walked. "And then we must get to the Fade. We'll have to cross the Hauntings again."

I nodded, determined. "We can do it. We'll all be together, and we'll do it."

"I have no doubt," he said. "But it won't be easy to go so far."

"We'll be safe on the Darkside," Rumble said.

"I'm not worried about the Darkside," Drake said in a low voice. "Not anymore. I'm worried about the valley. I'm worried about the Fade. And if Sadler was really collecting these treasures, it's not outrageous to think his followers might be trying to finish the job. I won't feel comfortable until we're safely back in our territories with the rift sealed."

He didn't say he was worried that the stone might not work, but he might as well have screamed it. There were so many unknowns.

The horses were exactly where we had left them, but the idea that I would be away from Scarlet for longer than I'd expected was growing stronger by the moment. Scarlet had been content in Zoe's arms, and I should have been grateful for that, but I was too selfish. Part of me wanted to be missed, to be the only one for her, but maybe my daughter was teaching me a lesson that Grim had tried to gently pass on to me: I couldn't rest my happiness on the shoulders of one little girl. It wasn't good for either of us.

Dubh didn't bite when I reached him. He leaned his chin on top of my head, and it was comforting. "Stupidly big faery horse," I whispered as he whinnied too close to my ear.

We loaded up again and moved on, not going anywhere near Yvette's land. We passed through tiny villages where the locals welcomed us with awe in their eyes. We carried no flags, but everyone knew who we were and what we had set out to do. In every place, people stopped, fed, and fawned over us before allowing us to leave. The fae had spent too long being terrified of their leaders. We had suddenly become approachable. As Dymphna had hinted, perhaps they saw us as heroes on a noble quest. We couldn't let them down.

"Nothing's secret around here, is it?" I asked wryly after another eventful day.

"Not a lot," Dymphna said.

We camped close to a village that night but away from prying eyes. Drake and I huddled together around the fire, our backs to the freezing night air, trying to plan for failure.

"I think we should go down to the cave alone," I whispered. "Just you and I. With the stone, it's like we both have to touch it for it to work, and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't want to test that theory."

"You're right." He hesitated. "Have you thought of what will happen to the realm if this goes wrong, and we both die?"

"Only all of the time." I rubbed my hands together. He made to cover them with his, but I gently pulled out of his reach. "Scarlet will need a new regent, and Sorcha will be in charge of the Silver Court." I looked at him. "Will she try to kill Scarlet when you're dead?"

"I don't think so." He looked uncomfortable. "She's not... who I thought she was."

"It's okay," I said gently. "I know she's capable of love, and I'm sure she has more layers than just dark and evil. I'm over the past as long as she doesn't try to harm Scarlet. You don't have to pretend you hate her on my account."

"I don't... hate her. Sometimes I pity her. The Silver Court isn't pleasant, Cara. They call her barren behind her back and laugh to her face. There's only so much I can do. Donella doesn't help."

"I can imagine."

"She fills Sorcha's head with ideas and makes her think they're her own. And Sorcha plays right into her hands, so Donella can turn to the others and ridicule her bad sense."

"So, get rid of Donella."

"If I truly lose her, I'll lose half my court."

I sighed with frustration. He would never learn. "What does Donella want?"

"A crown." He gave me a pathetic look. "I haven't touched her."

"I didn't say anything."

"Your eyes said everything. She knows that Brendan despises her, and she missed her chance to befriend you, so she turns to me, seeing me as the weakest of the three, the one who needs her most."

I frowned. "I thought everyone saw me as the weak one."

"Perspective. Brendan thinks the same about himself. That's why he even entertains the idea of marriage to Yvette. He feels obligated."

"What about me? Am I going to feel obligated? Or worse, is Scarlet?"

"You've already provided an heir. Unless there's some male fae with an army and a huge parcel of land to share with you, then no, you won't be pressured into anything."

"But Scarlet will."

He gave me a fierce look. "We've plenty of time to change the rules before the children grow up to be affected by them."

I held my hands closer to the fire, unable to get the warmth into me. "Maybe they already are affected. I've been thinking about this whole thing with Setanta and Liliana. Even you and fae like Rumble and Vix. You're half siblings, but you can't be a family. The rules make you enemies at birth. You and Brendan could have children who might become Scarlet's rivals someday—like the queens. They were twins, and they despised each other."

"We won't let that happen. We'll fix our mistakes with the next generation."

"And if Brendan gets married to Yvette and her massive army and decides he doesn't like the way we've taken his realm?"

"Then you and I must stick together to defend against him."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up his hands to stop me.

"We were given what we have," he said. "Circumstances might not be ideal, but Brendan deserved his punishment. He wasn't a wise or worthy leader the first time around, and he lost some of his responsibilities."

"He's wise and worthy now."

"We don't see him through the same eyes. But he's made a great sacrifice for the realm, so perhaps you see him through clearer eyes than I do."

And that was probably the best I was going to get from the faery whose body had almost been stolen by the returning king.

***

Dubh reared and whinnied, his eyes wide with alarm. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as the others leapt to their feet, expecting trouble. A group of soldiers burst through the undergrowth and surrounded us. Their leader was dressed in the same slate-grey armour as the others, but his sneer reminded me of a certain Fox.

"What do you mean by this?" Drake demanded as Rumble and Dymphna unsheathed their swords. I moved to Drake's side, trying to look furious when what I felt was terrified.

The soldier circled us slowly, and I spotted an insignia on his saddle that looked vaguely familiar. I couldn't place it, but I still considered it a bad sign.

"Trespassers deserve death," the man rasped, his eyes on me. Why did everyone always look at the human when they talked about killing things?

"Trespassers," Dymphna scoffed. "Do you know to whom you speak?"

"I don't care." The man was raising his sword when a young, eager voice commanded him to stop.

The soldier's face wrinkled into one of weary impatience. "What now?"

"Leave them be," said a young man with brown hair.

A blonde rode into the clearing after him, looking startled when she caught sight of the scene. "Aiken? What's happening?"

"Who are you?" Drake asked.

"You're talking to the only daughter of MacKenzie," the soldier spat, "so why don't—"

"Enough," the woman said, steeling her voice in a way the man beside her couldn't. And I realised I had seen the pair of them before. In the woods, on the way to the Fade, they had passed with a carriage. According to Grim, MacKenzie wasn't someone I wanted to meet.

"They're trespassing," the soldier said almost pleadingly.

"They're royalty," the young man said. "It is he, isn't it?"

The young woman slid off her horse. "I must apologise. My men are overly vigilant when it comes to protecting my father's most prized possession." She said the words in a sarcastic tone. "You are the king and queen of the Silver Court, are you not?"

Drake nodded, but I held up my ringed hand. "I'm the Darksider, actually."

"Silver and Chaos together," she said, her eyes gleaming. "Father will be most interested. We had heard there was a secret mission the royals were attending to."

"It's not a secret," I said. "The three of us set out to save the realm. And we'll continue on our way if your trained dogs here will step aside."

She smiled as if encouraged. "Well, now that we've officially met, I'll have to invite you to my home to meet my father."

"We're in a hurry," Drake said.

"Come for dinner," she said, almost pleading. "That's all I ask. Father hasn't vowed for any one court, and he is a worthy ally, I assure you."

I bit back a remark about adding even more cruelty to my court.

Drake looked interested, however. "We can eat with you, but we must move on by morning."

"Of course." She looked at me with a great deal of interest. "I've heard so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally put a face to the name."

I gave her my best smile, which, under the circumstances, was more than a little pained. We were stuck following her after that. In less than an hour, we reached a mansion.

"Plenty of hunting land," the young man was saying to Drake, sounding proud even though the land wasn't his. Maybe it would be someday.

"I'm Leonora, by the way," the girl told me. "Although I'm often only known as the daughter of MacKenzie."

"That's okay. I'm often only known as the human."

Her tinkling laugh might have made me smile if I weren't so grumpy. She seemed pleasant enough, but if her father was a figure of terror, I didn't want to linger in her home.

We reached the buildings, and our horses were taken by groomsmen, which made me uneasy. Leonora seemed to sense that and reassured me that they would be treated well and returned to us when we needed them. Then she took us inside and directed servants to help us get cleaned up.

The stone mansion was stark and cold. It wasn't showy like a castle, but inside, the rooms were huge. In all honesty, I was glad to have a bath. When I was done, a clean dress had been laid out for me, and my cloak was gone. My heart raced in my chest as some pixies prepared me for dinner. I barely paid attention to them, and I groaned when I caught sight of their creativity in the mirror. They had made me look like a freaking geisha with super pale skin, red lips, and heavy kohl around my eyes. I was called for dinner, so it was too late to clean the crap off my face.

I met Drake in the hallway in a panic. He looked startled by my appearance.

"Not a word. The stone is gone," I whispered. "They took it."

"They won't even know what it is. Don't worry."

Before I could argue the point, we were escorted into a huge dining hall where a lavish dinner had been supplied. Large fires burned in fireplaces on either side of the room, and dozens of candles lit the space.

Leonora rushed to greet me. She took my hands and led me to her father. He stood and studied me. He wasn't tall, but he had a commanding presence, and his cold gaze made me forget I was supposed to be a queen.

"This is MacKenzie. Father, this is the Darksider Queen."

"Cara," I added, embarrassed by his thorough inspection of my face.

"Did you ask for this?" He waved his hands over his face.

"I did not," I said indignantly. "Your pixies went to town without my knowledge or consent."

His grey eyes narrowed. "Guests are generally more polite to their hosts."

"Hosts generally don't steal my clothes while their pixies turn me into a living doll."

He arched one grey brow. In fact, everything about him was grey. Even Leonora, blond and normally pretty, looked washed out and ill next to him. The blood-red dress I had been given to wear was the only saturated colour in the room, and for whatever reason, that made me uncomfortable.

"It's hard for the little pixies," he said. "The last time a woman was in the house, she was going through a phase of all things human."

"Father, I'm a woman," Leonora said impatiently.

"No, you're my daughter." He looked me up and down, not a trace of subtlety in the action. "And fetch the queen her clothes before the realms think us petty thieves," he shouted at someone while holding my gaze. He held out an arm. "Let's have dinner, shall we?"

I hesitantly put my arm in his. MacKenzie was evidently king of his castle. He made me sit next to him at the table. He barely ate, focusing most of his attention on me, which made me too uncomfortable to eat much. I shot a wide-eyed look at Drake, who shrugged.

"You've journeyed long." MacKenzie tapped his hooked nose. "The secret lives of the royal and infamous."

I opened my mouth, ready with a smart remark of my own, but a servant approached the table with my cloak.

"Ah, the queen's belongings," MacKenzie said, wiping his mouth before making an exaggerated attempt to take it out of his servant's hands.

"Thievery," he said mockingly, peering at the frayed edges. His hand slipped into the pocket and took out the stone. He eyed me with fascination.

"I like geology," I said, snatching it back and praying it wouldn't transform into a magical tablet again.

"Interesting." He gestured toward his daughter's friend. "Perhaps Aiken can give you a tour of my land. He likes dull objects, too."

Leonora flinched as though he were referring to her.

"We have to move on quickly," Drake said, sensing my growing need to bite back hard.

"Everyone is fascinated with moving quickly these days. My dear Leonora, do you really have to stare?" he added with startling hypocrisy.

"I never see humans," she gushed, and I derived the added words or anyone from her tone.

"I've seen you and Aiken before, actually. We didn't meet—don't worry." I gestured at Drake. "It was around the time of his coronation. You were travelling through the Great Forest with Aiken. There was a carriage behind you, and you heard me move."

"Move?" MacKenzie leaned forward as though fascinated. "What were you doing in the forest?"

"Hiding," I said matter-of-factly. "This was before I had an army of my own."

He chuckled then waved at me to continue.

"You were worried we were bandits, I think. Aiken warned us that your father was close by."

MacKenzie snorted with a cold kind of laughter. "Warning the little human that Daddy would hurt her if she approached?"

"Well, he didn't know who we were," I said. "And according to those in the know, he might as well have been warning us for our own sakes because a bloodthirsty hunter once loyal to a mad queen was following. We waited until—"

"We?"

"A sprite, a brownie, a cat, and I," I deadpanned.

"Simply terrifying," he uttered, and a tiny part of me started to like him despite myself.

"We waited until you passed, and I felt glad I wasn't Drake, who had to accept fealty from such people."

Leonora had gone pale, but after Sadler, I didn't intend on being cowed by anyone ever again.

"Ah, but I must disagree. I didn't actually pledge fealty that day," MacKenzie said.

"So, you accept that you're a bloodthirsty hunter once loyal to a mad queen."

"The human did trick me."

"I think you'll find it was a queen," I said.

"Well, Queen of Chaos, tell me more."

I picked up my fork and began to eat, feeling everyone's eyes on me. MacKenzie was a big man in his own castle, but he didn't own the world, and he certainly didn't own me. I wasn't in danger. Yet.

Leonora and Aiken began to speak loudly as if to distract from my cheekiness.

"Look at her," MacKenzie said under his breath after a few moments. "Silly little airhead. I thought to marry her to the Green king, who I hear is pleasant enough to look at, and she said she would rather die. Daughters, eh?"

"I was forced to marry my daughter's crazy great-grandfather," I said dryly. "Do I really look like the sort of person who approves of girls being compelled to marry?"

"Ah, of course." He touched the green-and-silver bracelet on my wrist. "You believe in love as all humans do."

"Love is a lie." I allowed myself a tiny smile. "But it's a good lie all the same."

"I should marry again just to spite her," he said. "Not that she'd care. Too busy with her head in the clouds—she and that Aiken."

"You haven't sent him away," I said, remembering how Donella had wanted to separate her son from poor Bekind.

"I like it when she smiles more than when she cries." He handed me my cloak. "Perhaps you want to keep all of your secrets to yourself, my lady, but I find I'm very curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Some cats never die," he said softly. "Or so I hear."

I gave him a stern look. "Good for them."

"As you say. And I heard you were on a journey with two kings. Did the second displease you as much as your husband?"

My stern look turned into a glare. "Brendan hasn't risked the realm yet. Let me know when you do."

His laughter surprised everyone—even he looked startled. "I understand it now," he said, half under his breath. "Sometimes one tires of always being agreed with." He stabbed his meat with his fork. "And is it true about this other king? Is he really a woman's dream?"

"He's very handsome."

"Not like me."

I met his eyes as I struggled to hold in my laughter. "Not like you at all."

He relaxed in his chair. "But if he's deserted you on your quest, then he's surely not as brave as they claim."

"Actually, he's braver. He's gone across the sea on a mission of his own."

That surprised him. He sat up straight. "Across the sea? On a boat?"

"That's generally how it's done," I said dryly. "His future bride is in possession of a boat, and they've gone together."

He screwed up his face. "Which future bride owns a boat, of all things?"

"Her name is Yvette. She lives—"

"I know who you mean." His cheeks flooded with a wash of pink. "I wouldn't expect him to return anytime soon."

I gave him a sharp look, but his conversation turned more conventional. Yet I couldn't settle. There was a dark, quivering anger lying just under the surface of that man, and he was ready to unleash it when he felt it necessary. But something made me respect him. Maybe it was because I now knew how difficult the hard choices were. Or maybe it was because he'd echoed my misgivings about Yvette.

Before dinner was over, I offered to host Leonora at my home. I wasn't altogether serious at first, but when her eyes lit up as though all of her birthdays and Christmases had come at once, I knew I had to force the issue.

"She can, can't she?" I asked MacKenzie.

Leonora looked surprised when he said yes without hesitation.

After dinner, I excused myself to clean off the pixies' heavy-handed work and change into my own clothes before checking on Dubh. At the stables, a giant black dog got in my way.

"Don't worry," MacKenzie said from behind a nearby tree. All I could see of him was a shadow and a wisp of smoke. "He won't eat you."

I tried to disguise my fright. "Is that a cú sídhe?"

"Ah, I forgot. The Silver king gifted you the one we sold him. I made Leonora send him the white runt. If I'd known it was your gift, I would have given you a beauty."

"I happen to like the white runt." I moved toward the fully grown cú sídhe in awe. It was almost as tall as me, even on four legs. "Will mine grow to this size?"

"This one's a brute, the biggest I've seen, but even a runt will be larger than any dog." He approached me, putting out a cigar, which surprised me.

"It's not just the women who are into human things," I said.

He looked at me and smiled. "Correct. And are you fleeing in the night from the dreaded MacKenzie then?"

"No. Sorry to disappoint you. I'm just checking that my horse hasn't killed anyone."

"This getup suits you better than your pixie dinner attire," he remarked. He took my arm and guided me into the stables. When I reached for Dubh, MacKenzie chuckled. "Of course, that one is yours."

I hid my smile.

"I hear your daughter is strong and healthy, a boon to the dark court."

I turned and faced him, feeling fierce. "And what is it to you?"

He smirked. "You've met my daughter. Weak. Simpleminded, even. Not bad for a child, but for my child? A disappointment. I like her, but she can't lead in my stead."

"She seemed to have control over those soldiers who came upon us."

"Those fools would piss themselves if I so much as looked them directly in the eye. I blame her mother. She was pretty but ridiculous." He rolled his eyes. "An utter fool."

I stared at him, wondering why the hell he was telling me his life story.

"I want something better. I've always wanted more from life, and I look at you, someone who has made more from life. Together, we could do astonishing things."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm proposing," he said. "I want to marry you."

I blinked rapidly. "Um, we just met today."

"I'm not looking for your heart."

"Then what are you looking for?"

"What all men seek: power. When the time comes to take sides, I want to take yours. You're young and strong, cunning enough to survive anything, and you've already produced a good child. Marry me, give me a son, and I'll give you knowledge and an army that would make either of those pathetic kings weep."

"I've been married."

"To Sadler. A weak-minded, suggestible fool who barely understood what was going on. I can be your general. I can lead your troops. I can protect your daughter and you. Between us, we have the traits needed to rule the entire realm, not just the Darkside. We would be an unstoppable force."

"I'm flattered." Sort of. "But—"

"Think about it." He touched my waist. "I could make you untouchable."

"I'll... think on it. But we're leaving in the morning."

"Of course," he said. "Perhaps I'll visit you with Leonora."

He left me then, and I shivered. The cold didn't leave me until we were all safely away from MacKenzie's home the next morning.

"What's wrong?" Dymphna asked as we rode.

I blinked. "Who said something's wrong?"

"Well, I've called your name four or five times, and all I've gotten is a grunt in response. I'm guessing there's something on your mind."

I looked over my shoulder to make sure the others were out of hearing distance. "Something weird happened last night. MacKenzie... proposed."

She didn't even look surprised. "I thought he might."

"What? I didn't!"

"You're the most eligible woman in the realm." She laughed when I made a face. "And you could do worse than a man like MacKenzie." She hesitated. "If Brendan married Yvette, then someone like MacKenzie could be your safety net if everything goes wrong."

Great. Yet another detail to worry about. Who knew life as a queen would be so complicated?

Chapter Twenty-Four

We finally reached the Green Court. Even at a fair distance away, familiar green flags could be seen flying proudly from the rounded turrets. The ivy-covered castle was like something from a little girl's dreams of being a princess. My castle was derelict in comparison.

Grim waited at the gates to greet us. A good chunk of Brendan's army lined up in the courtyard, too, which made me feel uncomfortable. Realtín flew at me and wrapped herself around my neck. At least some things hadn't changed.

"We can't linger," Drake said. "We just wanted to update you."

"Come to the study," Grim said.

We made sure the horses were being taken care of then followed him inside. As soon as we sat in Brendan's office, Grim leaned forward, giving Drake a keen look. "What has happened?"

"Brendan took Yvette's ship, with Yvette on board, to find the first trees across the water."

Grim looked taken aback. "How odd. Have you come straight from there?"

"No. We found the stone of destiny in the human realm."

"The human realm. Of course," Grim said thoughtfully. "And you're now on your way to the Fade."

"There's no other course to take."

"Anything else I should know about?"

As Drake filled Grim in on our journey so far, I couldn't helping noticing that a Green Court adviser stood in the place of the friend I had expected to see. I realised I might never find a way to have all my friends around me again. My inner circle was broken up and separated. I had only been able to draw them together when I was just a human. A queen couldn't perform the same task.

Before we left again, I pulled Grim aside. "When it all goes wrong, if I don't come back—"

"You're going to come back."

"If I don't, I need you to be a friend to Scarlet. I need to know you'll care about her. You and Bekind are the ones I trust with her. Has that changed for you?"

"Nothing has changed."

"Grim." I tried on a weak smile for size. "Everything has changed. You were right about Brendan's marriage. He won't be my friend when that happens. He'll be the king of a rival court. You didn't pledge fealty to anyone. You're here because you choose to be. Will you choose to watch over Scarlet?"

He took my hand and squeezed my fingers. "She won't need me to, but if she does, I promise to be there. Scarlet won't come to any harm."

"She needs to visit the human realm regularly. She can't be raised to think that murder is normal. She has to know Zoe and my grandparents... and my mother."

"Your mother?"

"I think they deserve to know each other. I think that I can't let Scarlet carry my issues with her. She has to decide for herself, and when she's old enough, she can make so many decisions. She can choose where to live and who to have in her life. But it's only fair to give her all of the information first."

"Why are you thinking in this way?" he asked, sounding almost distraught.

"I have a bad feeling," I said, remembering the mirror. I would die alone, full of darkness. "You were right about something else, Grim. It's not fair to put my happiness on her. That was wrong of me, and I see it now."

He blinked a couple of times.

"There's one other thing," I said. "There's a baby left in my care. Liliana. I need you to make sure that she gets treated like Scarlet's sister until her mother returns. If that means protecting her from even a Darksider, then I need you to make sure it happens."

"Cara, why—"

"Goodbye, Grim."

***

It took us too long to reach the Hauntings. First, a group of soldiers from my court met us at the Hollows for news. They verified that Fiadh had gone to her ancestral home and that they hadn't heard from her since. I gave them news to pass on to the rest of my advisers.

After all the delays, we hadn't dared hesitate too long with the Watcher. One way or another, we needed to know if we could use the stone without Brendan. But after Drake had managed to call forth rain, I thought we stood a good chance.

At the Hauntings, I took the lead, remembering how badly our previous attempts had gone.

"Should we walk?" Rumble asked.

"Yes. The animals will be fine," I said. "They don't get caught up in the memories like we do. We all need to touch. We can hold hands. Don't break the chain, no matter what." I looked at Rumble. "It'll be worse for you because you've never done this before, but ignore everything you see. It's not real. Keep your eyes down as much as possible. I don't get caught up in the memories, so keep a tight hold of my hand."

He nodded his agreement. We all dismounted and stepped into the Hauntings.

As soon as we did, I felt a difference. Something I didn't understand lingered in the air, but there was a familiarity, too. I had felt this before; I just couldn't place it.

Drake and Rumble's hands tightened on mine as one, and I knew they saw a memory, but all I saw was mist.

"Hold on tight," I said, gritting my teeth as a gust of wind almost knocked me over. I looked up and frowned. There was a figure ahead of us. I squinted, but I couldn't make out any features. It didn't seem like a memory, but there was something dreamlike about it.

"Fire ahead," Rumble muttered.

"It's not real," Drake said.

"Keep walking, even if you have to pass through it," Dymphna said.

I felt heat, but I saw no fire, only that same figure. It beckoned me, and I had to put my head down to ignore it in case it led us somewhere we didn't want to go.

And then I heard a voice whispering. Shadows surrounded us. The others didn't appear to notice, so it was just for me. Old fears of the madness of summer wives jolted me.

Drake glanced at me, but I kept moving, determined to get through the Hauntings. My feet sank into the ground, and the whispers grew louder. The only way to save her is to close the portals.

Frowning, I listened harder. The voice continued. Sometimes, I made out only parts of sentences.

Death comes...

Humans will die.

The blight creeps on.

Death haunts...

Close the portals.

Blights can't be stopped.

Death wins...

Save yourself.

Save yourself.

Close the portals.

Cut off the realms.

Death stops...

I tried to shake off the words, but they kept coming, growing louder until they were shrieks right by my ear. And the shadows grew darker until I wasn't sure I was leading anyone anymore.

By the time we made it through, I was the only one shivering. The horses were waiting on the other side. Dubh gave an anxious stamp of his feet, and I ran my hands across his face, trying to calm myself as much as him.

"That was intense," Drake said, "but easier than before."

Easier? I nodded absentmindedly. "You doing okay, Rumble?"

He said something, but I had caught sight of movement on the water. I ran to the cliff, almost stumbling over the edge and then falling onto my backside in my struggle to regain balance.

"Careful!" Dymphna shouted as the others followed.

I was pointed outward. Across the water was a beach in the human realm complete with a quaint lighthouse. And in the distance sailed a boat I recognised as Yvette's. A green flag flew highest at the mast.

"It's Brendan!" I cried out, wondering how far he was from reaching whatever was across the sea.

"He's made it this far," Drake said.

"If anyone can do it, he can," Dymphna said.

I nodded, unable to speak. The worlds were so close that—I froze. That was what the voices meant. To stop the spread into the human realm, I needed to cut the realms off from each other completely. I could save Scarlet, but only if I condemned everyone else in the faery realm. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't even know how.

The stone was heavy in my pocket. It had been used to separate the realms, and we were about to seal up the rift. The stone of destiny could theoretically be used to cut off the human and faery realms from each other forever. But then I remembered the message had come from the Hauntings. Nothing was real there.

We camped at the summit of the Frozen Valley that night. The earth was more black than red, and when my hand moved off my blanket and onto the ground, it came away a blackened ruby colour. The stories about the Frozen Valley said the blood of fae buried there made the dirt red, but the blight had darkened it since my last visit.

"It's gotten bad," I murmured. I knew the others were still awake. None of us could sleep, but in the darkness, the descent was too risky.

"It'll get worse. It can always get worse," Drake said.

"It'll be over in the morning," Rumble said. "One way or another."

That night, another dream haunted me. I saw a trio of demigoddesses, whispering and giggling about giving her back her gift. Had they been speaking to me in the Hauntings? But no, the new message was different, more confusing.

And then a voice said, "Cara, wake up," and I sat up, confused. I rubbed my temples, trying to figure out what I had been dreaming.

"Are you well?" Rumble asked in the darkness.

I got up and moved next to him. "No. I feel like I'm losing my mind. What did you see in the Hauntings, Rumble?"

He leaned forward, his shoulders hunched. He stared into the dying fire and shrugged. "I saw faces I recognised. I saw death. I saw... heartache. Is it always that way?"

"Usually."

He gave me a sharp look. Every scar on his face was highlighted by the glow of the fire. The more I looked, the more I saw beauty in it—a landscape of memories and strength. I was starting to see the faded stretch marks on my belly in the same light.

"What did you see?" he asked.

"I don't know. A person, calling me. I heard rather than saw. I heard voices—or one voice—telling me what to do. And I'm terrified that maybe the realm has finally gotten to me." I looked at him. "Maybe all I've ever been is a summer wife, after all. If something goes wrong, you have to leave me. You have to go back to the castle and make sure that everyone understands what has to happen next. And you and Vix have to make sure my daughter grows old."

"Needless panic," he murmured. "Hysterics. I thought you above all of that."

"Then you overestimated me."

He gave me a steady look. "I didn't."

"You're going to stay outside the cave. You and Dymphna. Drake and I already agreed. If it gets bad, both of you need to take the horses and run. If you stick together, you'll make it back through the Hauntings. If you reach the Watcher, he'll help you if you've gotten caught up in the memories."

"But—"

"Tell me you understand."

He didn't hesitate. "I understand."

"Good," I whispered.

***

The descent was difficult because the earth was wet and seeping. The horses slid, even Dubh.

"We need to climb," Drake said, peering over the edge. "If one of the horses falls..."

I immediately got off Dubh. "Stay," I commanded him. For a change, he listened. "Dymphna, you need to stay up here, too."

"I do not."

"Look at the way down. It's practically vertical. We're going to need you up here with a rope. When we go down, we're going to flatten it even more. We'll need help getting back up."

Drake nodded. "She's right. Rumble can hold the rope into the cave. We'll need you both for our escape."

He started to climb down even before Dymphna had organised the rope. I followed, but Rumble waited, perhaps worried he would crush one of us. I half slid most of the way, my fingers falling through the watery earth. Drake's face was splashed with red and black, a stark reminder of the accident he'd had the last time we'd made that same descent.

We reached the bottom without many problems. The stains on my hands were black rather than the berry they had been before. Rumble descended carefully, close to the rope. Dymphna was steady. The rope was attached to both her and the horses. It should hold if Rumble fell.

I moved to the spring to wash my hands and sighed. Last time, it had been pinkish. Now it was grey and purple.

"Are you ready?" Drake asked.

"No. Are you?"

He smiled and urged me toward the cave. It was darker than I remembered. No Realtín lit our way. "At last, I'll get my chance," he said. "What was it like? In the Fade, I mean."

"Terrifying. It felt like we could get lost in there forever, and the fenris was just... unreal."

"You still have the scars." He looked down at me, but my leg was covered. "They talked about you."

"Everyone keeps saying that."

"It's true. The gossip in the courts is always ridiculous, but you were the one constant—the human who changed everything. The one who kept two souls in one body. The one who freed the wrong soul. The one who went to the Fade to bring back the true king. The one who carried an heir. The one who managed to outsmart Sadler. The one who got away. The warrior queen. And now this will be spoken of for lifetimes. Our great-great-great-grandchildren will know Cara Kelly's true name. Don't you know how special that is?"

"I'm the upstart who stole a crown and caused the blight to worsen," I said snidely. "The one who ruined everything for everyone, and now I'm known for going back to the places I've already visited in a weak attempt to fix my own mistakes."

"Now you're just fishing for compliments."

I laughed, surprised to find myself still able to. "And you're still... you somewhere in there."

He gave me a pained look.

Rumble joined us then. "Are you ready?"

Drake and I exchanged a look and nodded as one.

Rumble let down the rope. "I'll go first," I said. "I've done this before."

"No," Drake said.

"Yes," I said firmly. I was over being told what to do by faeries. It was motherhood, rather than being regent, that made me exasperated with being treated like a child.

I lifted my leg over and climbed into the cave. This time, I wasn't as reckless or determined as before. Without Realtín's light, the cave was scarier. I held on to the rope, trying not to put too much pressure on it. The water that dripped down the wall stung my eyes and left black spots in my already poor vision, but still, I lowered myself. Eventually, I made it to the bottom.

Drake followed. His wings were loose, the light in the darkness, just as he had looked the night we first met. He moved steadily, more sure-footed than I had been. I remembered the last time I had been in the cave, and I suppressed a nervous giggle. The scar on my calf itched as though the proximity of the rift irritated it.

Drake jumped to the end and reached for me. "Now for the hard part."

"You have the stone, right?"

He gave me a long, weary look before I told him I was kidding.

"How do we do this?" I whispered as we moved into the back of the cave, following the eerie green light that announced the rift's presence.

"We'll wing it," he replied, his eyes on the gap. "This is... not what I expected."

The green was as I remembered it, but in the light, I saw veins of black across the cave walls. I shivered at the thought of the cave being a living, blighted thing.

"The gap sort of sucked us through," I said, bending my head. "Let's hope we don't have to pass through."

"What if the stone doesn't work?"

I gave him a sharp look. "Shut up, Drake."

We crawled next to the rift. "Don't touch it," I said. "You might get pulled through."

He took deep breaths as I lifted the stone out of my pocket. It lay in my hands, a plain piece of rock—nothing special, nothing important—and I panicked. "What if—"

Drake pressed his finger against my lips. "You can shut up now, too."

He dragged his finger down, pulling my lower lip with it. And there it was again, that spark of attraction when we were in the face of danger. I jerked back then squeezed my eyes shut and held out my hand. I only opened my eyes when I felt his touch. He laid his hand over mine, and the two of us touched the stone together. Almost immediately, it transformed into a tablet. This time, it drew what was left of the blackthorns and then a cú sídhe before ending on the same image the Watcher had shown us.

"Is it just me, or is the blackness spreading across the drawing?" I whispered.

Drake nodded, his pale skin a sickly green in the light. "Can you feel that?"

I could. The tablet was pure. There was something cool and reliable about it. The darkness that shrouded us seemed to shrink away. I gestured at the wall. "Look at that." The veins of black were vanishing.

"We should hold it close to the rift," Drake said. "We need to hold on tight."

We gingerly held it toward the green rift in the Fade. The tablet seemed to sparkle in the darkness. The green light wavered than reached out and smothered our hands and the tablet.

"Hold on," I cried as the rift tried to suck in the tablet and ourselves. We braced ourselves, leaning against the walls even as our arms shook with the effort of holding on.

The sensation increased, and my shoulder wrenched with pain. "Something's happening!"

The light and the tablet were shimmering. For a moment, I worried that the Fade was breaking through, but the tablet warmed in my hands, and the green light shrank. The wall began to seal itself.

"It's working!" Drake shouted.

But our hands were still there; we were at risk of being trapped.

"At the last moment, we pull back, Drake."

I felt the tablet working. The stone of destiny was sealing the pathway between worlds just as it had done before. It grew almost too hot to hold. The rift decreased and transformed and shook around our hands. We inched back slowly, still feeling the pull. The rift was closing, but it wanted to take the tablet with it.

As the rift was reduced to only a thin line of colour, we pulled back. The tablet stuck fast, along with our hands.

"Pull!" Drake cried.

I leaned my feet against the wall and used my entire body to pull. With a strange scream, the rift let us go. We fell back, the tablet too hot to hold, and the rift was gone, leaving us in darkness.

I felt Drake reach for my hand. We held on to the tablet, even though it burned, because we knew how close we had come to being stuck forever.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and Drake's wings gave off a faint shimmer as he bent to pick up the tablet, which had turned back into a stone. He wrapped his arms around me. "We really did it," he whispered in my ear. "We closed the rift."

Brendan had better not get sent to the Fade again.

The thought came unbidden, and I shivered. The rift was closed, and there was now no way to get into the Fade, bar death. In the future, if any of us were sent there, we would never leave.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The task was done. I'd given Drake the stone for safekeeping. All that was left for us to do was wait for Brendan to return with the trees we needed. The blight couldn't continue anymore, not with the rift sealed.

Unless a god made it so.

The four of us headed back as quickly as possible. The ship was long gone when we passed the cliff with the sea view. Weirdly, the sky over the beach was black and stormy, while ours was clear and blue. I desperately hoped I hadn't lost another year. I hadn't entered the Fade this time. Perhaps that made a difference.

Again, I heard whispers in the Hauntings, but they sounded disappointed. I ignored them.

We finally made it to the Watcher. He looked us all over with a great deal of concern, but finally, he gave us the all clear.

The Wife took me aside as we prepared to head for the tunnel. "We felt something," she said under her breath. "Heard something different in the Hauntings."

"Me, too," I said, but neither of us could explain what it had been. At least I knew I wasn't crazy. I wasn't the only one hearing the voices.

"Be wary," she said abruptly, pulling my cloak tight around my shoulders. "There's an evil wind blowing."

"We closed the rift."

"Then perhaps the rift was never the biggest problem."

All the way through the tunnel, I kept going over everything in my head. Something was off. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly. As we exited the tunnel, I happened to look up just in time to see a white raven fly overhead.

We rode together until we came across an exhausted rider who had apparently been searching for Drake. "The queen," she gasped. "She's ill. They sent me to find you."

The little colour Drake had drained from his face. "I have to go."

"Go," I said. "We've already done our part."

He reached out and squeezed my hand. "Thank you. Be ever watchful."

"I'll accompany you," Dymphna said, worry lines forming on her face.

"What do you want me to do about Eithne?" I asked.

"If you take her back to your court, I'll come for her as soon as I can," she promised.

"I will. Good luck, both of you."

We parted ways. I breathed out a sigh. "It doesn't feel quite real."

"You did a great thing," Rumble said. "It will feel real to the realm."

"Unless it doesn't work. Come on. I need to speak to the water fae."

"The water fae?" But he followed me without hesitation.

"I'm not going to be able to relax until I ask them something."

We rode until we made it to the banks of the River Garbh. I called out for the water fae. Only ripples appeared in the water at first. Then a young woman with a fishlike tail burst through the surface, somersaulting in the air before diving back in with a splash. When she lifted her head above water the second time, she was grinning. "She comes again."

"You all helped the realm once," I said. "But it's not over. We've sealed the rift in the Fade, but there's a ship on its way to find the First Tree. Across the water."

Murmurs from underneath the water made the river ripple.

"The trees will clean the earth, and the water, of the blight," I said loudly. "If the ship doesn't make it back safely, we're all dead. Can you guard it? Or watch for it to return? Anything?"

The mermaid-looking fae disappeared under the water. I waited impatiently for a few moments.

What looked like seaweed rose from the water to reveal a bare-breasted woman covered in grey-green scales. I knew that faery better than the other water fae.

"This is the last favour," she said, bobbing at the surface.

"It's not a favour," I said. "It's survival. Do it or don't, but the water is affected by this just as much as the soil."

The dozen or so tentacles that made up her lower body curled up from the water, revealing blackened tips. "We'll watch for the ship." She sank under the water again.

Relieved, I turned away. I wiped my eyes as I mounted Dubh. Rumble was watching me, but he didn't ask any questions. We rode on in silence, resting only when we had to, until we reached the castle.

We were greeted joyfully—the news had reached the court, and everyone knew that we had succeeded in sealing the rift. As the fae in my court congratulated me, I realised just how exhausted I was.

I spotted Rafe and waved him over. "Has Fiadh returned?"

He shook his head.

"Have you heard from her?"

"Only rumours."

"Rumours in which many children were murdered?" I asked coldly.

"I warned her not to be foolish," he said. "I told her that it would displease you."

"Send someone to find out what happened. If she harmed one child, she's not to return here. I don't want to see her. It's up to her whether she wants Setanta to stay here or be sent to her. I won't punish him for her actions." I hesitated. "And make sure she understands that if any harm comes to my foster daughter, it'll be on her head."

"Foster daughter?"

I sank into my throne and closed my eyes. "You'll meet her soon enough. One of Glic's children escaped before Fiadh got there, and I'll be taking care of her. She's to be treated as Scarlet's sister." I opened my eyes. "Understand?"

"Of course," he said in a quiet voice. "I think you've earned our loyalty by now, my lady."

I tried to smile. "Start organising transportation to the blackthorns. They're in desperate need of water." I yawned. "I'm wrecked, Rafe. Organise a party for everyone, but Rumble and I need to rest."

"Oh, before I forget," he said, "a package came for you from the Green Court. It's in your room."

"Grim must have discovered something. Thanks, Rafe. I'm glad you're here. It looks like everything went smoothly while I was gone."

He bowed. "Surprisingly so. I believe Levin has news for you, too, but we can talk more tomorrow."

I left him and went upstairs to have a quick soak in the bath. My tension left me in the water, and the reality of the situation finally sank in. We had accomplished so much, but there was so much more to do.

I headed back to my room. It felt empty without Scarlet and our entourage. On the bed lay a long, thin package with an envelope sealed with green wax. I opened the envelope first. It was just a short note.

In case I don't get another chance.

B.

Puzzled, I opened the box. Inside was a slim silver bracelet set with green and black stones. In the centre was one large scarlet ruby. All of the colours of my world. I ran my finger across the bracelet, my eyes filling with tears. That was a goodbye if ever I saw one.

I replaced my frayed fabric bracelet with Brendan's gift. He understood me more than most did. And he had the sword of victory—he would be okay, no matter what happened. Drake had the stone, while I possessed a spear that looked like a prop from a vampire film. I checked the locked box under my bed. The spear was still there.

Some spear. I lifted it and squeezed my hand around it. The wider end was encircled by a band of brass while the pointy end was covered in black webbing. When I let go, a black handprint appeared on the wood and disappeared just as quickly. Maybe I should have taken the spear with me on our mission. Maybe then my heart wouldn't be so dark.

Two pieces of jewellery were in the box with the spear. I hadn't been able to bear wearing them. I couldn't be a queen while I wore Darragh's old medals and the locket my mother had given me. I opened the locket and gazed at the old picture of my brother and me. If he could only see me now. All my good intentions had been twisted into something dark and nasty.

I put on the necklaces and locked the spear away to keep it safe. How was I going to explain to Setanta that his mother was banished? The woman who had helped put me on the throne had thought nothing of murdering children to keep her son's prize. Maybe she had been following my lead. I felt ill. If I had been a better queen, none of those things would have happened. My mind was clearer than it had been in months. Things had to change. I had to make them change.

Sighing, I picked my cloak up from where I had dropped it. My best times in the faery realm had always been when I was on a journey. And the last journey had been interesting. I smiled as I remembered MacKenzie's ridiculous proposal. And Yvette's—the library. I had half forgotten the scrap of paper I'd found there.

I read it again, a few random words about a golden mirror with a trapped reflection—something that had misled Sadler and me and led us straight into a chaotic path. And I knew what I had to do to change that.

I left my bedroom and found a sledgehammer in one of the areas that was being repaired. I headed back up to the old treasure room in the tower. The mirror was there.

"You're the one that's poison," I whispered.

The reflection immediately shifted. It showed me a sinking boat, a drowning king, a bed full of blood, and—

I closed my eyes before it could show me any more death—before I grew foolish enough to be led astray again. I didn't need a manipulative mirror to tell me my future. I made my own future.

I hefted the sledgehammer as music from the party began, and I smashed the glass to pieces. With each strike, the mirror screamed in the voices of my friends, but I had no mercy. The mirror was darkness, and it had to die.

A god was next on my list.

Thank you for reading Blight. The final instalment in the Chaos series is due for release in October 2015.

For more information, check out Claire Farrell's blog or email the author.  Sign up to the newsletter to be notified of new releases and receive occasional coupon codes for free copies, or like the Facebook page for more regular updates.

Sacrifice

A king's life hangs in the balance.

A kingdom is almost lost.

Time is running out as truths are revealed.

And a sacrifice lies at the end of every path.

Books by Claire Farrell:

Chaos Series:

One Night with the Fae (Free Companion Prequel)

Soul (Chaos #1) – Free

Fade (Chaos #2)

Queen (Chaos #3)

Usurper (Chaos #4)

Ava Delaney Series (Completed):

Thirst (Ava Delaney #1) – Free

Taunt (Ava Delaney #2)

Tempt (Ava Delaney #3)

Taken (Ava Delaney #4)

Taste (Ava Delaney #5)

Traitor (Ava Delaney #6)

Awakening (Ava Delaney Volume I – Books 1-3)

Uprising (Ava Delaney Volume II – Books 4-6)

Lost Souls Series:

Tainted (Ava Delaney: Lost Souls #1)

VBI Series:

Demon Dog (VBI #1)

Cursed Series (Completed):

Verity (Cursed #1) – Free

Clarity (Cursed #2)

Adversity (Cursed #2.5 – Free

Purity (Cursed #3)

Cursed Omnibus (Entire Cursed Series)

Stake You Series (Completed):

Stake You (Stake You #1) – Free

Make You (Stake You #2)

Break You (Stake You #3)

Short Story Collections:

Sixty Seconds

A Little Girl in my Room

Other:

Death is a Gift (A standalone banshee novel)

Zombie Moon Rising (A Peter Brannigan Novella)

Ghost Moon Rising (A Peter Brannigan Novella)

Upcoming Releases:

Tethers (Ava Delaney: Lost Souls #2)

Sacrifice (Chaos #6)

