
Chinese: 
如果你看见地上有屎，用纸巾盖住就行了
总之，你30秒的培训就结束了
有问题吗？
有，如果有人问我东西在哪里，但我也不知道咋办呢
知不知道不要紧的
你就往另外一边一指然后跑路就可以了
就像这样
哦，搅拌机在7号货架
哇，他真厉害
每一个沃尔玛都这样
不好意思？
您好，我能怎么帮到您？
那个，我正在找婴儿床
哦，那个在22号过道，就在枪和儿童用枪之间
真的？ 对
其实这太好了，我一直在找一把好一点的儿童用枪
正好我们有一把很可爱的粉色手枪打六折！
但你出去的时候把收银员给毙了就不要钱了

English: 
So if you ever see a turd on the ground, just cover it with a paper towel.
Anyway, that concludes your 30 seconds of training. Any questions?
Yeah!
What if someone asks me where an item is and I don't know where?
Oh, it doesn't actually matter if you know where the
Items are or not. You just point to an aisle at the opposite side of the building and run away, like this.
Oh, the blenders are on aisle 7.[footsteps]
Wow, he's good.
Every Walmart ever.
Excuse me.
Hello, how can I help you?
Hi, I'm looking for the baby cribs.
Oh, yes.
Asle 22 between the guns and the children's guns.
Really?!
You know, that's great, 'cause I've been looking for a good children's gun.
Oh... We've got this cute little pink Glock for 40% off.
But you can get it for free if you shoot the cashier on the way out.
*Intense laughing*
 
 
Thanks so much.

English: 
Of course. Oh.
[whispering]I'm serious though.
Do you sell grenades?
Welcome to Walmart.
Where do they get all these old people from?
I have no idea.
Hey! Where are you taking me?!
Shhh! You belong to us now.
Alright then.
Here's your blue vest. Go f--k yourself.
(snickering)
 
Hey, Philip?
What?
These shelves are empty, Should I restock them?
Sure.
Uh, what goes here?
 
Uh...
It's been empty as long as I've been here. I don't get paid enough to care.
So I'm done?
Yeah, sure. Good job.
Thanks, Philip.
[Phillip] Whatever.
I'm not stealing iPods.

Chinese: 
谢谢了啊
没事
但我是认真的
你们卖手榴弹吗？
欢迎来到沃尔玛
他们从哪里找的老人啊？
我咋知道？
【红太阳养老院】
喂！你要带我去哪里？
嘘，你是我们的了
好吧
这里是你的蓝背心，爱干嘛干嘛去吧
菲利普
干嘛
这货架都空了，我要补货吗？
随便你
额，这放什么的？
从我来的时候就空了
他们要我管就多给我点工资
那我完事了咯？
差不多吧，干得好
谢了
随便你吧
我没偷iPod

Chinese: 
你衣服里就有几个
欢迎来到沃尔玛
不好意思，我们沃尔玛有穿衣规定的
有吗？
自己看
拿去吧
穿上再回来
这就对了，欢迎来到沃尔玛
谢了啊
咋所有人都怀孕了
你踩到我的脚了，快道歉！
没人打架都不是沃尔玛了，太乱了
其实是我们雇他们打架的
每一次打架的视频一火，就有一堆人来
是游击队商业战略

English: 
You have several iPods in your shirt.
Welcome to Walmart.
 
Ooh.
Excuse me, this is Walmart. We do have a dress code.
You do?
Mm-hmm.
[This is what happens in Walmart]
[muffled] Where did you store that?
Here. Put these on.
Ohhh, welcome to Walmart.
Thanks.
Why is everyone pregnant?
 
(raucous fighting)
You're stepping on my shoes, now say excuse me.
Of course there's a fight at a Walmart.
So trashy.
(clearing throat)
Actually, we hire them to fight in here. Every time a fight video goes viral, we get a huge uptick in sales. It's guerrilla marketing tactics.
 
YEAH! BITE HIM!
 
GET HER!
YEAH! OH! OH!

English: 
YEAH! KNOCK HER OUT!
KNOCK HER-- OH!
Sir. I need you to pay for that.
No.
Yo. Excuse me.
What?
you have this in my size?
Let's go to the kids section.
Thanks.
There you go, kids extra small.
What the hell?!
Aisle 7!
[footsteps]
Where the Hell did he go?
Everything is $2.99 here.
Yoo-hoo!
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
Maybe instead of having those mass-produced factory cookies, you like to buy some homemade cookies from a nice mom-and-pop shop.
Mm, smells like a nice cookie.
Wow, I thought Walmart made you guys go out of business years ago.
Nope, as a matter of fact,
they did not. They actually just sort of built around us and didn't even notice us. Please, try a cookie. Please, please, try it?
Wow, these are really good.

Chinese: 
给我打！打死他！快！咬他！打啊！
先生你得付钱
就不
不好意思，有小一号的吗？
去童装区吧
这就是儿童XXS号了
什么鬼啊
7号货架
他去哪里了啦
所有东西都两块九毛九
看看这里啊
其实你可以不买这个工厂生产的饼干
你可以从一个爸妈小摊买自制饼干
嗯，真好闻啊
我还以为沃尔玛让你们破产了呢
他们造商场的时候都没注意我们
求你了，尝一块饼干吧，求你了
哇，太好吃了吧

English: 
Oh boy, Marjory, here comes our first sale in 5 years.
Okay, so how many would you like? They're only $4 a bag.
These are only
3.79.
Yes.
But no child had to die to make our cookies. This is just good old-fashioned homestyle cooking, right, Marjory?
Yeah, no child labor.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Guess I don't really care though. Thanks for the cookie.
Don't say it. Don't say it, Geraldine. Don't say it. Don't say it.
- F--k!
- Oh!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said it.
Every Walmart ever.
Hello guys, thank you so much for watching this video.
And thank you for clicking the subscribe button and the bell button.
Hey.
If you wanna watch Every Forever 21
Ever, click that box on the left.
Yes, and if you'd like to watch the other video, which is--
- Game Store.
- Which is Every Game Store Ever.
Thank you. You can click the box on the right.
On the right.
Yeah. Okay, well,
- we'll see you later.
- Yeah, Goodbye.

Chinese: 
终于卖出去一块了，五年没生意啊
你要多少？一包才四美金哦
这一大包也才三块七毛九啊
对，但是有没有小孩在做我们的饼干的时候死了呢？
这才是传统的自制饼干，对吧
就是啊，没有童工制作啊什么的
也是
只可惜我不care
谢谢你们的饼干！
别说，忍住，别说！
【beep】我错了我错了我错了
世界上每一个沃尔玛都这样
