Hi, food fans, and welcome
to the "Cutthroat Kitchen"
post-show where I, Alton
Brown, and the day's host,
in this case, Jet Tila--
-Oh.
All right, cool.
 --go over some
of the sabotages
of the day and maybe
perhaps do a little
bit of cooking on our own.
My first favorite sabotage--
and this was from round
one-- was the duck prep table.
Imagine, if you will,
two chefs having
to do all their prep on rubber
ducks floating in a pond.
No way, man.
ALTON BROWN: Yes.
Yes way.
Of course.
You're evil, man.
[squeaking]
Oh, my duck is crying.
MAN: Oh-oh-oh.
WOMAN: So I'm trying to cut a
duck on top of a duck in water.
MAN: Thanks, Chef Kathy.
WOMAN: Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
So I really liked
this one, but this was
a little bit different, Jet.
You know, I don't know how
you are about caffeine,
but if I drink too much of
it, I kind of get the shakes.
Yes, totally.
[clattering]
JET TILA: No!
Who do you think had to do
all of their coffee dessert
on this table?
I'm going to say Saul,
only because there wasn't
any uniformity in his dessert.
So that's who I'm
going to be guessing.
Here's the
important thing, Jet.
You and I are going to prep
our own coffee desserts today.
And it's going to be
up to you whether we
get the ducks or the jitters.
JET TILA: Oh, wow.
ALTON BROWN: You've
got to pick a card.
JET TILA: I think you
know what they are,
so you're going to pick a card.
ALTON BROWN: Fine.
I'm not even going to look.
I'm going to take this one.
JET TILA: All right.
I don't trust you, Brown.
We're both gonna have to
do it no matter what it is.
What's it say?
Oh, Jitters Prep.
ALTON BROWN: So here's the deal.
You and I must prep side by
side on the jitter table.
-(LAUGHING) Awesome.
-OK.
Well, I just want you
to take your time,
think about it for a second.
That's-- Alton!
[laughter]
I know what you're trying to do.
Oh, wait.
Wait, uh--
JET TILA: Um, wait.
I need to think about what
I'm actually making here.
Yeah, you should.
OK.
Me, too.
Um.
JET TILA: Some vanilla extract.
ALTON BROWN: Sugar.
I can't think, I can't think.
The pressure.
You're so evil, Brown.
All right, I got this.
Uh, you know what? [laughs]
That's ex-- wait a minute.
You don't like the rules,
you change the rules.
JET TILA: That's pretty genius.
ALTON BROWN: I need bowls.
All right.
JET TILA: All I need.
[laughter]
So this can happen
anytime, right?
Like, we have no idea
when that's going to--
ALTON BROWN: We don't.
Like that. [laughs] This sucks.
What are you
making, by the way?
I think I'm going to
make a sundae, actually.
I think I'm gonna make a sundae.
ALTON BROWN: All right.
JET TILA: I need
one-- give me-- let me
have one bowl, for god's sake.
I'm making, or I'm
going to attempt to make
a microwave chocolate cake.
JET TILA: Oh, no kidding.
ALTON BROWN: Quarter--
a quarter cup of flour.
I can't even do this.
A teaspoon of cocoa.
I'm going to go with
about, ooh, a tablespoon
of espresso powder, five
tablespoons of sugar.
Two, three.
You're doing
calculations over there.
I can't believe it.
I can't do anything if
I don't measure, Jet.
I'm no--
-Really?
I don't believe that.
ALTON BROWN: I'm no good.
JET TILA: I'm going in.
What'd you do
with the duct tape?
JET TILA: I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, you-- Uh, I
got to slow down.
OK, milk.
JET TILA: OK.
ALTON BROWN: Three
tablespoons of this oil.
JET TILA: Dammit.
ALTON BROWN: A little vanilla.
Stop it!
MAN: Damn, this is--
Man.
MAN: This is like
your big brother
waking you up in the
morning on your bed.
Oh, man.
All right.
I'm going to the microwave.
Let's go minute and a half.
In the meantime, what
are you, Homer Simpson?
You brought pre-made donuts?
What do you want me to do?
Well, I want you to cook.
OK. [laughs]
All right.
ALTON BROWN: I figured out how
to make the table not shake.
How?
Because somebody's
watching, and they don't
want to have to clean that up.
--[laughs] I don't think
that worked, Alton.
It's hard to concentrate
with all that noise, bro.
I'm ready for a taster.
Bah!
No, no, no!
All right.
Here we go.
[inaudible] coffee sundae.
Mm-mm.
Yes!
Another victory!
You guys suck, man.
Whatever.
 I'm sorry, Jet.
So that's all the time
that we have for today.
Actually, I pay them to do that.
I know that.
Another wrap-up here on the
"Cutthroat Kitchen" post-show,
which, let's face it, it's
a heck of a lot more fun
than "Cutthroat Kitchen"
actually is itself.
And you don't actually
watch "Cutthroat Kitchen,"
you won't understand what's
going on when you come
to foodnetwork.com/cutthroat--
It doesn't matter.
 --and watch this.
Go ahead, shake it again.
I double-dog
freakin'-- there ya go.
[laughs] See ya later.
