

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2014 by Celine Garcia.

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2014

Smashwords Edition

## Table of Contents

## Audio Frequency

## Legal U Turn

## Heart Set on You

## Acknowledgements

For Danny, Samuel, & Emily

Always nurture your dreams.
Audio Frequency

It was an excruciating and painfully long day at Audio Frequency, A day of obtuse questions and imprudent music selection from Geraldine's customers. The hilarious thing was Geraldine loved it. She wasn't a music snob; she just had a clear belief that all music no matter what the type was in fact good. The person is what made the music bad. If the wrong person got the wrong music that was just a waste of a perfectly good CD that could have in fact benefited someone else who would have loved it.

Geraldine released a calming sigh when she heard the music stores bell clang against the entrance door. It was that time again, her favorite time when the scrawny young fumbling intern from the local radio station would drop by. Twice a month the local independent radio station would ship out a small order of local artists they would give prominent radio play to. It wasn't the guy she was pleased to see, even though Sam was handsomely nerdy with his short curly brown hair and snug fitted layered t-shirts. It was the infamous box she awaited. Sam walked quickly to the counter with a suave silly sway and perked eye brows towards Geraldine. Sam handed the small box over to Geraldine still looking like he had some incredible news to share.

"What?" Geraldine sang.

"Oh nothing, just guess who the station picked to open for their Share the Music Benefit?"

"Shut up, they didn't! You've been hoping for this forever Sam. I'm so happy for you."

Sam was a musician hoping not to get noticed for his outstanding filing abilities but for his musical talent down at the station. Geraldine sold some copies of his self made EP at the store, even though Bruce the owner wasn't too keen on the idea. Bruce was worried that musicians off the street would be crowding his establishment, pleading to sell their work at his store.

"Ger, I just want to say thanks for everything by giving you this." He handed a small envelope to her with a smile. "It's an invite to the benefit and they're hard to come by. I figured it could help the store with publicity."

Geraldine looked at the invite like it was gold in her hands. This was a big deal because the store was slacking in sales and could use some help. Unfortunately Bruce didn't seem to care anymore. He was always so passionate about his shop before, but now was just here for the ride and profits were showing.

"Thank you so much, we or _I_ for that matter will definitely be there."

Sam was on his own personal cloud nine as he walked out the door. He promised Geraldine good seats near important people to talk about the store. Geraldine was still reveling in the news that she hated herself for forgetting the box. She sliced the box open with frazzled anticipation. Only she knew of the secret game the mystery person and she played.

At first it was just a silly game, she never thought it would continue over a length of almost six months. Six months of exchanging song lyrics and guessing which songs they were from, a game perfectly made for her. She would get a new box with new music and a song lyric written inside. Geraldine then would return any music that didn't sell and mail it in the same box and would respond with her answer and a new lyric for her challenger.

She removed the CD's from the box to discover her new test. The lyric she responded to previously was exceptionally hard. She didn't want to admit it but she actually thought she might have been stumped. She even tossed around the idea of Googling it, but she triumphed and remembered his eighties preferences prior. Even though she held onto the box longer than usual she sent it away confident. She never knew what would happen if she got an answer wrong because she never was...wrong.

Having trouble sleeping, while I wait in the back of your mind patiently.

Geraldine frowned irritated at the sharpie marked words that stared up at her and laughed. It was an obvious blow to her and the length of time she took to answer. The reference to the sleepless night was her only indication. She could have been wrong but she knew she wasn't. She was in fact an expert like most of today's population at sarcasm.

"Did Sam leave already?" Bruce asked looking out the door.

"Yeah, just missed him." Geraldine said stacking the new delivery. "Actually he dropped this by for the store, an invite to the Share the Music Benefit." She handed the invite with a smile but was disappointed when Bruce didn't share her enthusiasm. "Don't you realize how this can benefit the store and the slow business we've had lately?"

"No should I? What is...Share the Music?"

"It's a benefit to explore new ways to share music with the local schools that have to cut their music departments out. Musicians volunteer and teach kids about music. A lot of important people go to this function and look for any investment opportunities, us being an opportunity for them. I think it was awful nice for Sam to score us an invite."

"I guess it's a good idea. Maybe you should go. You could go with Sam...or something. I mean he's a guy and your...a girl, makes sense. I'm not too great at dealing with the public you know." Bruce sighed.

"Well I guess it's good that you run a music store that's open...to the public." She waves a presenting hand to his awesome music store, brows raised. "If you don't want to go that's fine. I'll go but not with Sam. He has a girlfriend and that would make me a home wrecker and I hate home wreckers."

Geraldine had walked that path once and winded up embarrassing herself when she walked in on Sam and his girlfriend full on making out backstage. She foolishly thought he had invited her because he was interested in her and was mistaken. She was always making mistakes about men, reading too much into casual conversations. Sam at least turned out to be a great friend.

Bruce was about to walk away before he noticed the writing inside the box and retreated back to the counter to get a closer look. "What's this?" he said holding up the small box.

"Oh it's just a game." Geraldine shrugged. "He writes lyrics in the box and I respond with the correct song. We've been writing in the boxes back and forth for a while. I don't even know who he is."

"How do you know it's a he?"

"What?"

"You said _he_ writes. How do you know it's a guy?"

Bruce has a slight smirk while examining the box. Geraldine knows he loves to get her goat when he can. She certainly wasn't going to let him mess with this.

She snapped the box back quickly and referred to the handwriting. She drew Bruce's attention to the messy mangled penmanship. Saying it was obviously a man because a women's handwriting is delicate even when it's messy. Hoping she was right Geraldine told herself she would ask Sam the next time he came in. He may actually know who it is since the boxes come from the station. She might even be able to meet the mystery man.

She decided to respond to the lyric and send it as usual. If she didn't, she would have to wait longer for the next one to come. Geraldine glanced at the lyrics and knew immediately what the song was. She knew he was an obvious Empty Frames fan, most people were if they listened to music in general, she wrote down her answer with her favorite red sharpie pen "Blindsided by Empty Frames." She proceeded to write her lyrics down.

You haven't gotten the best of me. I'll shine brighter now that we're done.

She would counter to his playful smugness with one of her favorite girl bands, The Hooks, and the song "I Can Live Now."

Two weeks passed when Sam walked routinely inside the store as always. Geraldine waited at the counter with a childlike smile. Sam reacted to her with a squint of his eye as he put down the box in front of her.

"Whaaat," he said slowly and intrigued. From his mocking expression he knew something was up. Geraldine was usually a happy person but not giddy like she was now.

"I need to ask a favor of you," she whispered as she twisted her shiny black hair around her finger.

"Why are we whispering?" he leaned in close, suspiciously looking around at the customers in the store.

"That's just because I'm embarrassed, but don't worry I'll get over it. I need information, information about someone that might work at the station."

Geraldine went on to explain the game that went on between her and the mystery guy. How she wanted to try and find him and feed her curiosity. Sam listened with a shy smirk but had a hard time taking her seriously. He takes the box, examining it and puts it back on the counter with a sigh.

"So because this person knows a few lyrics you think he's your soul mate or something? Do you realize how crazy you sound? This isn't some chick flick," he laughed.

"Hey," she gave Sam a dead serious look. "Not all chick flicks are bad; some just get a bad rap."

She took the box he had just brought and sliced it open quickly with a box cutter. He jolted his head back at her wacky persistence. She turned the box towards Sam so he could see the lyrics she knew would be there like always. He looked at it surprised.

"Just answer me this one important question," she demanded with worry. He only turned his eyes at her while his body remained still. "Is this, a man's, handwriting?" he laughed at her seriousness.

"I can assure you that a woman did not send that box?"

Geraldine sighed with relief as she looked inside to see the lyrics inside.

Blaze your trail; be magnanimous in everything that you do.

She couldn't help think about her upcoming 25th birthday. She felt a lot of pressure to become an adult. She already considered herself one but felt desperation to start her life path. She realized how fast her thirtieth was trailing behind. Sam noticed Geraldine in her thought. She turned to face him with weird quizzical eyes. "You know...I think I'm officially old."

"Nah, you're not officially," Sam said. "But you're heading that way, just make sure to take notice of the view occasionally." He gazed around at the interior of the small music store and the old posters that dressed the walls with the hand painted murals of famous musicians. "Why haven't you asked Bruce to take you on as a co-owner yet? I mean you said you had some money saved up, what are you waiting for?"

Geraldine remained quiet while she avoided eye contact with Sam. She was totally transparent to Sam, never able to hide her feelings with him.

"Oh, don't tell me you're backing down. You've done so much for this store and Bruce should know that...I mean he does know that. I don't get it, what's the problem?"

The problem was Geraldine was scared, scared of Bruce walking out and leaving the store for her to run herself. She knew it was inevitable but didn't know if she could run the store without his help. But the longer she waited, the sooner her fear would approach. Sam could see Geraldine didn't want to talk about it. He tugged at the box she was still holding to glance inside.

"I See You by Curtain Calls." He stated.

"What?"

"The answer to the lyric from your mystery man, and hey if you want I can try and find out who is sending these. It shouldn't take long, I can narrow it down to a couple of guys. But you're sure Ger? Is this guy really worth the trouble?"

"Sam, this guy totally gets me. It's like every lyric fits what's going on in my mangled mess of a brain."

"Okay Ger," Sam shrugged. "I'll see what I can do."

Geraldine thanked Sam for the answer and the footwork he was willing to do for her. He said he would call as soon as he found out any info. She absolutely hated herself for being scared of owning the music store on her own. If she couldn't come to terms with owning the whole thing, what made her think she was capable of owning half with Bruce? She wasn't getting any younger and her life needed a desperate change, it was the only way she would be able to follow through.

"That's it!" she yelled. Of course, she didn't realize that she still had her red sharpie in her hand and had mistakenly swung it out towards a customer wearing of all things a white mass produced Ramones t-shirt. The guy didn't look pleased at the now red stripe down his chest.

"Oops, sorry...what am I saying, it's not like those things are rare or anything." The guy still looked upset. Geraldine ignored him and began to write her responding lyric in the box.

So this is my finale, the culmination of my days, this is my last call.

It's what was in her heart at that moment, a song from Quietus, "My Last Chance at You." A band most people had forgotten but Geraldine still a hard-core fan, found them back in their indie circuit roots. She would face the music; no puns intended and get her plans in order to speak with Bruce. Now was as good as a time if any.

Geraldine waited near the phone for Sam to call with information. She didn't have to wait long. Sam called and apologized for not realizing that the guy who packages the promo music would be at the event this weekend. He didn't know much about him but that he was single and apparently very quiet. Geraldine's stomach fluttered with butterflies and anything else that could fly. She could feel everything was about to change...hopefully for the best.

The weekend of Share the Music was tonight and Geraldine made sure to put her best dress on to impress the VIP's at the benefit and maybe make a small impression on her lyric man. She hailed a cab and was on her way. For some reason she couldn't help feel like she was reliving a modern day fairytale. When she arrived, the event was small and personal. The tables and chairs were close to the small stage and had simple candles in the center of them. Geraldine found her seat quickly and sat down with nervous posture.

She made sure to greet everyone at her table and very professionally let them know more about Audio Frequency. She felt like she had spoken with one hundred people that night. She seemed to take an interest in everyone. The superintendent of schools Harold Manning liked the stores name very much and seemed quite intrigued in the little store. Geraldine explained her idea of having the kids of the local high schools have their very own open mic night at the store. She promoted the idea very proudly and discussed the pros of getting the kids off the streets and learning their potential with music.

"When would be a good time for you to come by the store so we may discuss it more?" she asked. Mr. Manning sat upright in his chair surprised by the young woman. "Well aren't you the persistent one." He smiled.

Geraldine tried to hide her embarrassment. "Oh I didn't mean we had to set up something tomorrow...how about next week?"

The man laughed and handed her his card. He told her to call his office and to set up an appointment with his assistant. He reminded Geraldine that he would like to see the store and meet with her there. The house lights soon dimmed and the stage lights rose. She had nearly forgotten about Sam performing tonight. She had hoped things would start looking up for him too; he deserved anything good that came to him.

Geraldine watches Sam take a seat on a small stool with his acoustic guitar. Before he starts he gazes into the small crowd and sees Geraldine. She immediately sits up straight; surprised that Sam sought her out and smiled.

The crowds soon formed at the end of the evening. Sam walked out looking for Geraldine in the lure of people.

"So did you see him yet?" he smiled.

"Well no. How am I supposed to know who he is? You didn't exactly give me a description on the phone."

"Isn't the description the same? You know tall, dark, and handsome." Sam looked in the direction of someone in the crowd and nodded. He then looked at the back of a guy nearby. "That's your guy," He pointed.

From the back he looked very professional in an all black suit. Neatly combed ashy brown hair was all she could see until he turned to the side. He was so gorgeous that her jaw nearly dropped. This couldn't be the guy. It was too good to be true...too good. She nudged Sam in his side still staring.

"You're kidding right? That's...him." She smiled.

"Well aren't you going to say something to him?"

"Ah..." was all she could manage out. Sam turned her around to get her attention. He managed to grab a glass of champagne off a tray that a man walked by with. He handed the glass to Geraldine as she slung it back quick. He smiled as she began to walk away. She turned quickly around to face Sam again.

"I'll wait till your girlfriend finds you. It would be rude of me to leave you by yourself."

A weird unexpected expression spread across his face as he shook his head at her. He turned her around to walk back towards the lyric man. But when she did she was surprised to see a beautiful woman kiss the cheek of the man. It wasn't a friendly kiss either. It was more of a, I've missed you kiss. Geraldine quickly walked pass Sam and headed out the door. Sam caught up with her and explained he had heard he was single. He was extremely sorry for her getting hurt.

"That's fine he never even knew me anyway. What was I thinking would happen? That he would leave his supermodel girlfriend for the girl...well the girl like me." She tried to contain her embarrassment in front of people passing along the street.

"Come on Ger, its not that bad."

"No it is Sam. He was just playing a game and I turned it into something else...bigger as usual."

Geraldine began to get herself together. This would be easy to get over. It wasn't like the game was personal. It was just a game. She started to focus on bigger things like the main reason she planned on coming here tonight, the store and her future at Audio Frequency. She had a goal and was on the road to it, this was just a distraction.

"I'm sorry for bringing down your big night Sam," Geraldine said. "Real sorry." Sam looked down with a half smile still concerned for Geraldine. "Hey at least your show went well." She tried to be a more encouraging friend. "You're always great though."

"You didn't do too bad yourself. I saw you talking with some people who looked important. Quite the charmer you are."

"I was so nervous." Geraldine confessed. "I hope it helps the store."

"Don't worry, you got this," he smiled sweetly.

"You think?"

"I know." Sam encouraged without a doubt. Geraldine started toward the curb to hail a cab.

"Hey, wait Ger. Please tell me you plan on talking with Bruce now?"

Geraldine knew what Sam was referring to. Just as her face was revealing doubt Sam stopped her. "No Ger, not this time. I'll only accept a yes, nothing else. You can do this, I know you can."

Encouragement from Sam bridged Geraldine's gap between confidence and fear. "Yes definitely," she nodded with a smile. "Hey I shouldn't keep you any longer. You should go back inside. People may want to talk with you and your girlfriend's probably looking for you."

"You'll be okay?"

"Always am." She smiled.

Sam hugged Geraldine tightly and pulled away slightly, "And you're not just some girl Ger. You are smart, kind and future co-owner of Audio Frequency."

A week went by and Geraldine finally mustered up the courage to ask Bruce to be an equal partner in the store. He was on the fence briefly until Geraldine stated that even though he still had great taste in music his heart just wasn't in it anymore. He needed to revive the store to make it more marketable, and in a goofy way Geraldine managed to make him realize she was the arrow he needed to make that happen.

She had been in and out of the store all month organizing the students of a local high school to participate in the first open mic night, which would explain why the small empty box on the counter from the radio station took her by surprise. The CD's had already been removed and she couldn't help but take a quick peek.

Your loveliness was intimidating, So much I could've said. I need to step free, free of the corners in your head.

"You by E.T.A.," she whispered. "Hey Bruce, when did Sam stop by?"

"I don't know like a week ago I guess."

She grabbed the first pen she found and wrote the answer. Could it be she may have met him and didn't know it, that maybe Sam was wrong? She met a ton of people that night it could have been anyone. Was it another message or could she just be reading too much into it as always. What did she have to lose...nothing?

They tell me I don't know you, but I need to. This fire you started is thrilling, now I can't be without.

If he was serious and she was right, he would know she wanted to meet him. She hoped he would know, at least the lyrics would speak for her. She put the CD's that had to go back in the box and mailed it.

Not even a week passed and when Sam returned with the box she looked up from the counter with a deer in the headlights look. Sam returned an ear-to-ear grin.

"I can't believe your still doing this."

"Doing what?"

"What," he teased. "This game."

"How do you know I'm still—"

"Well first off, you never look that happy to see me. I mean you always look happy but not give me that box or I'll kill you happy."

"Just give me the box." She said whipping her hand out with a smile.

She began opening the box immediately. Sam looked on with a little interest. "So do you know what the song is?"

Before she could look at it Sam interrupted her telling her he had some music that Bruce held for him last week. She turned around to take a look for him. Surprise hit her when she saw the massive stack of music.

"All this?"

"What, I got a very small advance on a single someone wants me to record. So I'm upgrading my collection."

"Hey that's great news."

"Right? I just hope it works out, nothing's set in stone yet but if I get a good response it may lead to other things."

She continued to ring him for the CD's still proud. She put the massive stack in a bag for him. Her eyes noticed one in particular. Geraldine pulled it out showing it to Sam. "This is yours."

"Sign it," Bruce interrupted coming out of his tiny office. "Before you get too good for us."

Sam smiled at Geraldine holding the CD. She handed it to him with a pen and a return smirk. Sam signed the CD handing it to Bruce.

"Hey, what about me?" Geraldine protested.

"You want one?"

"Uh...I deserve one." She snapped her head, making Sam laugh.

"Tell you what," he nodded to Geraldine. He pulled out a CD case with no cover art from his jacket pocket. "I'll give you the first recording of my official single."

"Serious?" she gasped. He handed it to her, glad that she appreciated it. "Now," he said closing the CD. "Don't embarrass me by listening to it in front of me." Geraldine thanked him for the CD and took it with no argument. Sam walked out pleased with his music. Geraldine immediately played the CD over the stores intercom so everyone could hear. Finally, she turned to her little box of hope. Hope of a response that meant more than just black ink on a cardboard box...hope of a fairytale.

The love you're willing to give, I wish you'd offer it to me. Today's the day your path leads to me.

She didn't know the lyrics; she drew a complete blank. Until she could only hear the first song that came to her, letting her heart sink like a submarine in her chest. Only his words surrounded her, and the entire store. The one lyric that would change her entire life echoed softly.

Geraldine, love me.

She couldn't move, she was frozen and felt like her soul was screaming from the inside to...to what...to what?

"Run!" Bruce yelled.

"What?" Geraldine said pulling out of her daze.

"Run girl run!" He hollered with a laugh that surprised Geraldine. "It's about time you realized, that guy adores you."

He told Geraldine what she needed to hear, pushing her to what she never knew she could have. She tore herself from the counter and didn't seem to care about the box of CD's that had hit the floor with her klutziness, the box with Sam's lyrics written upon it. She ran pushing the door as the sunlight hit her eyes. She put her hand to her forehead shielding the sun to see if she could still see him.

She saw his lanky figure walking away from the store, his jacket over his shoulder now. She ran to him trying not to trip because she wasn't used to running, but if it were to something that she wanted; she would run all day if she had too. She caught up to him and turned his shoulder to see him.

"It's you she said...it's you Sam. You're the one...the one..." her breath couldn't catch up with her from the jog. Sam hunched down to see if Geraldine was okay.

"Wow you're really out of shape," he laughed. She managed to breathe out a light laugh in return. "And yeah, it's me Ger. You know I thought you would have guessed it a lot sooner...but wow I didn't think it would take this long, even for you." He said tilting his head with a flirty gaze.

Geraldine was able to catch her breath and smiled back at Sam. "But I thought you had a girlfriend?"

"Thought being the key word here." He put his finger to his mouth. "But you never did ask, did you? Just assumed," he sighed holding in a laugh.

"But I saw you kissing..."

"Yeah that was my ex and she was trying to get me back. But I told her I was interested in someone else. Just that, the someone didn't seem interested in me." He walked closer to Geraldine with a smirk and his arms folded in front of him. "So are you interested...Geraldine?"

"I've never been anyone's someone," She said embarrassed.

Sam took that as a yes and hugged Geraldine on the busy sidewalk. He took her hand in his and they headed back to the store. Sam pulled her closer to his side and lightly kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I steered you the wrong way the other night. I wanted to tell you then. You just looked so hopeful, I was afraid of seeing the disappointment in your eyes when you realized it was just me."

"Even though I think what you just said is ridiculous, humor me, what changed your mind...about telling me?"

Flashes of Geraldine passed through Sam's mind. Her smile when she saw him at the door and the sight of seeing her laugh. Her face when she listened to music, and how lucky he was to witness when a song was about to change her life.

"It was just time to unlatch that gate and for me to finally walk through it."

"You wrote a song for me." She still couldn't believe it.

"Hey that's how I feel." He said sweetly.

Geraldine looked up at Sam, the guy who asked her to love him. She always did, just never thought of him as an option she could ever have. She stopped him mid step, held his face in her hands and kissed him the way she always wanted to. He laughed a bit in between, the sound of it making her smile.

Geraldine would love Sam.
Legal U turn

While struggling to find the most comfortable spot on the old vinyl seat at my booth, I hear a definite farting sound beneath me. I look over my shoulder to the group of college kids now laughing at me.

"Old seats." I shrug at them.

"Oh sure," the guy with long hair and painted nails replies. His group carries on in their inner circle of contagious laughter, laughter I once knew. Watching them made me fully aware of my once naïve nature when I was a young adult, oblivious to the world that lived outside my text message inbox.

"You ready to order?" A woman asks. I look up to see the same face I saw a few years back. She's graying a bit but still has the same great smile.

"Don't think I'll be ordering a whole meal," I say. "But I do need some sugar in my system to keep me awake for the drive."

"Well then, I suggest a slice of the cherry pie because it's my absolute favorite and it's sure to perk up your handsome brown eyes." She nudges my shoulder lightly. I smile because she's said this to me many times before, although it's been awhile, I doubt she remembers me.

"Then that's what I'll have, and a cup of coffee please." I say closing my menu. I catch myself before I ask for two forks. An old habit that flicks my heart back six years to when a brunette in an oversized hipster beanie sat across from me.

"D-e-a-n, you don't have to feel obligated to order the cherry pie just because the waitress said it was her favorite," Gwen said, picking at her flaking black nail polish. She was a classic case of rebellion in her indie rock tank top, ripped tight jeans, numerous piercings and ass kicking boots that didn't scare me one bit. I knew she was mad because of my lack of conversation in the car earlier.

"Yeah but I want cherry pie. Soooo, leave me the hell alone," I smiled and threw in an innocent shrug hoping to further irritate her.

"Okay how many times do I have to apologize?" She slumped back against her seat. "I am sorry, once again for barging in on you and Brooke. But I needed Justin's lab notes, and he said I was welcomed anytime, so..."

"I don't think he would have honored that invitation at two in the morning with a sock on the doorknob."

"What does it matter?" She dismissed. "You never had a chance with Brooke. She's with—"

"Justin now, I know! So I have every right to be mad at you and the forever awkwardness I have with a good friend." Brooke was a girl I was into, Justin; one of my first real friends at school was the guy she was apparently into.

"Egh, it's summer break and the fences will mend," she said as the waitress brought over my pie and coffee. "Excuse me," she called to the waitress. "You have any caramel sauce?"

"I'll bring it over ASAP." The waitress smiled.

I take a bite of my pie and look at Gwen. "Luk eh steh hade yo,"

"Finish chewing that huge bite in your pie hole," She demanded.

"Bud—.

"Swallow," she sang.

I swallowed my pie and continued. "I still hate you because things with Justin will forever be awkward if that relationship lasts. I only agreed to let you ride with me back from school so that he'd think things are okay with us, in case he and Brooke break up."

"So are you saying that if they are still together when school starts again, you'll just never talk to him again?" she asked.

"Yeah I guess so. But what do you care, you don't like me. I don't like you. Justin's been trying to get us to get along for the past semester, ain't gonna happen."

My sentence was punctuated by the clink of a tiny bowl of caramel sauce that's dropped off at our table.

"Are you seriously just going to eat caramel sauce?" I asked her.

"Nope." She then poured it into my coffee.

"Hey what the hell!"

The memory of her laughter rings in my ear as I stare at my pie and coffee that I didn't even realize was left. I look behind me to see the annoying teens have left their table.

"Everything okay?" The waitress asks. "You haven't touched your food."

"My coffee...I forgot to ask for caramel

sauce."

It was by next term I remember, and a return drive home after summer Gwen and I were friends. It partly had to do with Justin and Brooke, they were inseparable, but I found out Gwen was a lot of fun. She stopped painting her nails black and wearing those goofy beanies. I'd come to find out that it was all to get a guy's attention, which she did successfully. They dated for a couple of months, he broke up with her one week before winter break and she called me asking to tag along on my ride home.

I sit in the diner now, looking across where Gwen once sat. I know I need to get going and stand scooping my last bite of pie with my fork. I can see the freeway on ramp from the diner window before leaving a good sized tip, making up for the times I couldn't afford to before. I walk to my car knowing which town I have to go through first. It summons a light laugh within me as I remember Gwen's master plan that nearly got me arrested.

"Okay, okay just pull in here, She said with criminal like eyes.

"Gwen where are we?" I asked trying not to seem worried. "I'm not your personal taxi."

She ignored me and dug behind her seat revealing a shopping bag with a couple cartons of eggs, "Just wait here and keep your engine running."

Before she could leave I pulled her arm, "You are not egging his house because he broke up with you Gwen!" I shouted.

She quickly shushes me to be quiet and falls back in the car.

"Look...I get it," I sympathized. "He broke it off and you're hurt but you know this is a bit immature, right?"

"I know," she darts. "But...he had a girlfriend okay!" she explained with watered eyes. "He cheated on her with me and he's still...with her. He chose her...not me."

I'd never seen her cry before. I'd never witnessed Gwen in a vulnerable state. I didn't like it. I snatched a carton of eggs from her lap and got out of the car.

"What are you doing?"

"Looks like I'm egging a house," I said turning to see a smile spread across her face.

An hour later I was in cuffs in the back seat of a rent-a-cop car. I wasn't counting on Gwen's ex's house having a security patrol. I was able to see Gwen talking with her ex and then suddenly a cop un-cuffed me, saying the owner of the house was not pressing charges. I didn't question him and got in my car where Gwen was waiting for me.

"You told him you'd rat him out to his girlfriend if he didn't let me go, didn't you?"

She shrugged without a word as I start the engine.

"Woman, you are too much trouble for me."

"Take me to the beach Dean." She didn't have the slightest demand in her voice. I wasn't sure if I should take her seriously because of it.

"There is no beach," I said turning on the radio.

"We live in California, where a mini sunny paradise is only a brief drive away."

"We'll wind up getting home really late if we do." When I said it I knew she knew I was entertaining the idea.

"Come on Dean...give me a better reason to remember this trip home," she sighed.

I made sure there wasn't a cop in sight before I made an illegal u turn toward the freeway heading west. "Don't worry it was legal." Gwen shrugged changing the radio station I picked.

"Oh really," I smiled.

"U turns are _always_ legal when you're heading somewhere better."

Later that day at the beach I tried to keep Gwen preoccupied by asking more about her. I found out she liked to write in her spare time but not enough to pursue it as a career. She wasn't the popular girl in school, but her dad always told her it didn't matter how many friends you had just as long as you had some who were there for you when it mattered.

That's when our eyes met and we smiled.

"Don't you ever go anywhere Dean," she said putting her shades on, gazing at the blue sky lying on the sand next to me. "You can't now, not really."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because...you're my only place."

Never before had words actually made me melt inside. Any aggravation I had towards Gwen about the past was gone, revealing a new sweet center of feelings I still can't cover up.

We were best friends and road buddies for every break we had at school. She lived one town away from me so it always worked out perfectly. Plus her dad didn't mind her driving with me after he found out I was the guy who egged her ex's house for her.

Our road trips were a special event I always looked forward to. We'd always stop at the same corner gas station down the street from our dorms, and stock up on junk food and coffee. We ate at Foster's Freeze, and would grab a couple of burgers and share a banana split. That was my favorite part of our mini trips because it was the time we'd talk about things, like what we wanted to do in life and dreams we wanted to take for our own.

"I want to be an architect, but my dad wants me to take over his construction business," I told Gwen.

"You don't want that?" She asked.

"I've been helping my dad for years," I shrugged. "Every summer since I could bang a hammer the right way. After doing it all those years I just don't think I would be happy doing it again, for the rest of my life."

"Your dad must see something that makes him think differently," she said leaning on the hood of my car.

"Wait, are you agreeing with him?" I asked.

"Not exactly," she pointed at me with her spoon. "I just wonder if you're making what you want from your future clear to him."

I plunged my own spoon into the glop of our banana split. "Of course I am. He's known what I wanted to do since I was a kid."

"Well then your dad is stubborn." She said point blank. "If you've made it clear then I suggest a refresher course in the future of Dean."

I stayed silent because she made me question whether or not I had made it clear enough. Of course I didn't let her know this. If I had she would just make me promise to talk to my dad and I wasn't ready for that.

I drive past the Foster's Freeze we used to stop at and I see that it's already closed for the night. I press on since it's getting late and I don't want to be late. I see scattered fruit stand signs advertising avocados, cherries, and lemons at cheap prices. It's hard for me not to feel embarrassed as I drive by each of them. Even though I didn't mind our extra stops along the way, buying fruit that I could get anywhere seemed pointless.

"They're two dollars," Gwen's words stretched out in her infamous sarcastic plea. "You can't get anything this good for two dollars."

"We're nearly twenty miles away from your house," I argued.

"Come on, we never stop at any of these adorable stands. Plus we'd be supporting local growers. Plus it'd be like organic, right and that's good for like our bodies and stuff, and—

"FINE!" I veered right at the next stand just so I wouldn't hear her nag anymore. I turned to her irritated. "You happy?"

She leaned in close, but before I could react, she kissed me. "Yes!"

"What...what was that?" I managed.

But she was already out of the car, prancing to the stand of colorful fruits and veggies to take her pick.

When we were back on he road she gleamed while eating her cherries and spit each pit out of her window without any grace. It was spring break of our junior year, we had been friends almost three years and her hair was shorter now. She started wearing the beanie again she wore during our freshman year that I secretly missed. It made her eyes stand out a lot. It was like she was in Technicolor.

I was frozen for the remainder of the drive to her town. She had actually kissed me. Even though it was just a quick kiss, it was a kiss. I felt...something. When I looked at her sitting with a huge bag of cherries in her lap I was surprised she didn't seem to feel, anything. She looked normal without a care.

"Why do you look like a dork right now?" she asked. I only shrugged with a fake smile. "You want a cherry?"

I didn't answer.

"Here," she said handing me a cherry. I bit it off the stem quickly and chewed my aggravation out of it. Just as I was about to ask about the kiss I started choking.

"Oh my god Dean are you okay?" she yelled.

I pointed to my throat and she took the wheel pulling us over. "Brake Dean, brake!"

I managed to put the car in park and opened my door gasping to breathe and walked around to her side where she was already getting in the position to do the Heimlich on me. I didn't know how strong she was. She lifted me off my feet so hard dust was billowing beneath us. I felt the devil pit fly out my mouth and gasped for air. I coughed hard until I could breathe normally which allowed me to hear Gwen laughing hysterically.

"You think this is funny?"

She held her belly, "Yeah, yeah I do."

I could feel something still lodged in my throat. "I, I think it's still in there." I rubbed my throat worried, and she keeled over laughing harder.

"No seriously, I can feel it."

We never spoke of the kiss. She left a never-ending curiosity in my heart. Why did she kiss me? Did she like me? Could she see me that way? Could I see her that way?

Remembering Gwen's kiss I decide to pull over at a random fruit stand in the middle of the night, it's not the exact one Gwen and I went to years back, but it was pretty close. I recline my seat back and decide to rest here until morning. I wonder if I'm crazy for doing what I plan tomorrow. Will she call me crazy or will my being there, even matter after three years? Or after being M.I.A. for those years will she run with me instead of how I ran away from her, that day...

"What are the odds we blow out a tire in front of a tire shop?" I had said trying to be optimistic.

"I would feel luckier if it weren't midnight and the tire shop were open," Gwen pouted.

"Well you were the one who made us leave late because you were arguing with your boyfriend. Besides, it opens in like seven hours," I say. "So lets just sleep until that happens, get a tire first thing, eat breakfast at that café across the way and then we jet home."

"I hate this," She pouted again. "I should just call—"

"The boyfriend?" I darted. "That's fine with me," I shrugged. "It'll be more peaceful without your snoring."

"I do not snore," she smiled but I knew she was pretending to be offended.

"Uh yes you do, like some injured or angry animal."

She looks at her cell, hopeful, but gives me some lie about there being no signal. I was glad she didn't abandon me for her very new boyfriend. She met him back home and they were doing the long distance thing.

We put the back seats down of my Cherokee and got comfortable in the back, me on one side her on the other. It was like camp, but better. We played truth or dare but could really only do the 'truth' part since there weren't many daring opportunities.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" She asked.

"Hey, I've dated girls," I defended.

"Yeah but they aren't the type of girls that can stick, you know." She kidded. "It's like you pick the ones that are for sure, not a sure thing. No relationship potential, at all."

"My answer is that I am focused, end of story," I said bluntly. "My turn to ask the question. Why do you keep feeling the need to have a relationship?"

"Ouch Dean, someone's bitter about their question."

"It's a fair question," I retorted.

"Okay fine," she said, "I want someone that I don't need to make a shopping list for."

"A shopping list?" I asked confused. I remained looking at the ceiling of my car while she explained.

"I want to be with someone who comes home and brings exactly what I need without asking, it even being a surprise to me that I needed it. My dad always had this knack for stopping at the store on the way home from work and bringing home odd things like...tomato sauce and bananas or even those imported chocolate bars that my mom loved." She giggles and turns on her side to look at me. "One time, he brought home a mango because he remembered hearing I wanted to try them. He paid attention to my mom and me and thought about us all the time. So that's what I want."

"So you want someone who will bring you...groceries?" I lightly laughed at the sight of her dad bringing home a mango to Gwen as a little girl.

"Yeah," she yawned closing her eyes. "Groceries."

When I woke that morning at the tire shop, I discovered I had missed calls on my cell and had over six voice mails from home. Half asleep I realize Gwen is gone, probably to just get us some coffee or something. Rather than listen to the messages, I called home immediately, regretting not telling them about the flat tire.

"Hey mom, sorry I didn't call—"

"You need to come home right away." She said something else but I couldn't make it out through her crying. "It's your dad, he had a heart attack and he's—"

"Oh my god, is he okay? Can I talk to him? Okay but can you just tell me what's going on? Put him on the phone mom, if it's not serious why can't I just talk to him?" I pleaded.

"Dean...just get here, now." She hung up and I ran to the tire shop door, pounding on it to get the attention of anybody inside. A man ran up from behind me.

"Hey, hey now no need to wreck my place." He said.

I looked straight at the guy, "Look, I don't want to be here right now."

"You and me both," the man laughed casually.

I snapped and grabbed his arm startling him. "Look it's my dad, I need to get home!"

"Okay son, okay son." He understood and moved fast.

I checked all the voicemails, listening as my mom's voice became more frantic and immediately felt sorry for not hearing my phone. Each message made my mom seem more helpless and my dad's condition more severe.

"You said you loved me," Gwen said from behind me. I turned irritated seeing she carried two cups of coffee and a bag of doughnuts from the place across the street.

"What?"

"Last night in your sleep, you said Gwen, I love you,"

"I don't have time for this Gwen."

"So was I hearing things?" The cocky smile that traced her face made the eruption of anger inside me hotter than anything I'd felt.

"Seriously Gwen I cannot have this conversation with you right now. So drop it."

"I can't drop it if you have feelings for me."

"And if I did? What, you'll drop another one of your boyfriends because I said I loved you in my sleep?" I was angry, but not at her. But I couldn't stop, and knew I would regret the things I was about to say, but said them anyway, Even if it would hurt her. "You know we wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't made us late. I would have had a tire yesterday and been home by now."

"Dean why are acting like this?"

"Because I'm angry Gwen, angry at you."

"What did I do?" She yelled ready to fight me back.

"What you always do. You make a fool of me Gwen. Since the day I met you you've been pulling my strings."

She starts to walk away from me.

"No, no, no you don't get to do that. I talk, you listen," Before I can rationalize I said what came to mind first. "You think that as long as this doesn't get real," I gestured to her to me. "Then you don't have to deal with it. I'm your personal taxi who's your friend, nothing more, nothing ever. I'm the guy you've stuck in your closet of untouchables, the guy who can do nothing wrong as long as you don't feel anything for him."

She is about to tell me off but I don't give her the chance.

"My dad's in the hospital Gwen," I wipe my face, not wanting to cry in front of her. "It doesn't sound good...my mom can't bear to tell me over the phone so it must be bad."

I saw on her face when it dawned on her why I was so upset and I felt guilty when she hugged me because no one deserved to be treated the way I had with her, especially her. She hugged me tighter, we drove, then I dropped her off and I never saw her again. I didn't get a call for a ride back to school.

A horn from a big rig passing the fruit stand I pulled into last night wakes me from my last memory of Gwen. I can see the fruit stand is open now. I get what I need and see if I leave now I'll just make it. My phone rings and I answer it.

"Deans' Construction,"

"Are you here yet?" Brooke asks.

"No I had to stop and rest but I'm nearly home."

"Well hurry or we'll be late," she says.

I hang up with Brooke and start for home. I think back to that day, my dad passed shortly before I got to the hospital. Afterwards, I was given the business in his will. Even in death my dad was stubborn as hell, but he was right. I did love building things. Even though we yelled at each other most of the time they were still the best memories I had of him. I never went back to school because work was too insane.

I never spoke to Gwen again, which I hated myself for. I did write her a letter explaining that I didn't blame her for not getting to my dad in time. I couldn't take Gwen living with that on her shoulders because of my stupidity. I never got a return letter; only some flowers with no card I hoped were from her.

I finally pull up to the packed parking lot, grab my bag and look for Brooke in the crowd. She looks great and is glowing just like people say women do when they're pregnant.

"I feel horrible that you waited this long for me," I say as she kisses my cheek.

"Don't be silly, I'm perfectly fine," She says with her famous smile.

We wait in line and thankfully it goes quick. Brooke goes next and waves me over. I don't move because I'm just too nervous. The woman behind me taps my shoulder to go ahead since I'm holding up the line.

"Sweetie," Brooke says to me. "Come over and say hi."

I take a step and see she hasn't changed a bit. Her nails aren't black put still painted dark and I notice she kept her hair short the way I loved. She doesn't recognize who I am until I take my sunglasses off. Her face drops and thankfully a smile conjurer's up the dimples I missed so much.

"Gwen, you remember Dean don't you?" Brooke says pulling me to the table she's sitting at with her books stacked neatly beside her.

Gwen looks immediately to Brooke and her pregnant belly then to me.

"Oh no honey," Brooke laughs. "This isn't his. I married Justin, he says hi by the way. Dean here is just on his way back from adding on a new nursery for us back home and I was here on a weekend getaway with Justin while he finished." Brooke turns to me and hugs me tight. "You're on," she then turns to Gwen, "I'll just wait here and give you both a minute...or two." She suggests.

"Hey Dean," Gwen says and my heart plunges at the sound of my name from her lips again after so long.

"Hey," I say a bit too loud. "You look fantastic Gwen."

"You too Dean," She laughs lightly.

"Sir do you have your books ready?" A woman in a suit says to me.

"Uh..."

"It's fine," Gwen says to the woman.

"No, I do...have them," I look in my bag and pull out my books. Gwen's surprise gives me confidence. I missed that feeling she used to spark within me.

"You read my books?" She asks, surprised but a little shaky as I hoped.

"Yes," I say putting the stack in front of her. "I've read them."

"Well that's great," the woman in the suit says. "Do you have a favorite?"

"Not in particular," I say. "I love them all really. I think it's a unique concept that each romantic interest is always introduced in some outrageous way."

Gwen begins to blush as she signs the first book.

"Like this one where she walks in on the guy she loves to hate with a girl." I smile, my young cockiness returning. "Or this one where she meets the guy while being arrested for trespassing." I grab the next book. "This one is just hilarious because she saves the guy after he almost chokes..." I manage to gain Gwen's sight while she signs my book. "While eating a cherry."

" _Okay_ ," Gwen says embarrassed. "We get why you like my books."

Our eyes lock and all the time apart from my best friend no longer exists. We are zapped back in time to when we laughed, argued, and were there for each other.

"I brought you something," I say, placing a grocery bag on the table. "I know it's over the top but it's the only way I can say what I need to." Her brows lift, curious. She lets out a long sigh and wipes her face in anticipation.

"Dean...what did you do now?" she smiles.

I quickly pull out a jar of caramel. "I can't have a single cup of coffee without this in it, so a day doesn't go by that you don't cross my mind." She laughs out loud with watered eyes and covers half her face with her scarf. I then pull out a dozen eggs. "Every time I buy eggs, I think back to when I saw you hurt and think of how I never want to see you like that again." I pull out the bag of cherries and other fruit I bought at the fruit stand this morning. "For the first time you kissed me."

She doesn't speak. She only looks at the items I set in front of her. Gwen shakes her head at them overwhelmed. I can't tell if she's going to laugh or cry but she smiles.

"I did say it," I blurt and her eyes reach mine. "I wasn't talking in my sleep that night...when I told you I loved you."

"I know." She says sweetly. "And that kiss at the fruit stand that day...it did mean something, but I was so scared, because you were my friend, my _best_ friend."

I can hear the line of people waiting behind me whispering and when I turn I'm surprised to see they are taking pictures of Gwen and me.

"I think your fans put together who Dean is," Brooke says melodically with a huge grin.

When I look back at Gwen she has her hands over her face trying to cover her blushing embarrassment. "How on earth did you find me, I write under a pen name?"

I half smile and laugh letting her presence envelop me. "Well I heard you never moved back home and then I'd heard you were a guest speaker back at school so while I was there working on Brooke and Justin's nursery, I went back to find you..."

"You went back...to find me?" she questions in disbelief.

"Well yeah, I came across one of your books at Brooke's house and noticed the familiarity in them, but you don't have any pictures of yourself in any of your bios. After putting the pieces together with Brooke, we figured it had to be you."

"I'm a huge fan Gwen!" Brooke hollers like a giddy teenage girl.

The woman in the suit, who I figured was Gwen's publicist, interrupts, "I'm so sorry but we really need to keep the—"

"Don't. You. Dare," Gwen snaps. I took comfort in the fact that she didn't change. The most minimal silence fell before us and it was amazing.

"We made a mistake Gwen," I say to her. "Fear got the better of our friendship because we were too scared to try. Well I want to try. I want my best friend back." I gesture to the groceries on the table. "I know this seems a bit corny, but it was the only way I could tell you...I know what you need Gwen, and that's me. We need each other. I'm sorry I left things the way I did. After my dad died I just shut down, and it wasn't fair to you."

"Well I know I could have been more responsive in the communication department," she says. "If I had, I would have told you that I loved you too. I had for a long time," she sat straighter in her chair. "I still do." she adds.

I smile trying to contain my hysteria. She loved me.

"Do you still..." she asks, hopeful.

"Definitely!" I swiftly go to her side of the table and hug her as tight as she lets me. Her fans start to clap for us.

"Okay," she laughs into my shoulder. "You know that this is officially corny?"

"Yeah but it's honest," I say. "You'd do the same, admit it."

She bellows out a laugh and its contagiousness takes over me.

"So does this mean you'll go on a date with me?" I ask.

"Yes," she laughs. "But not until after my book tour."

"Is this like a road trip thing then?" I ask summoning up a wicked look. "Because I could go for a good road trip, like old times?"

She nodded up at me and I finally got to return the kiss she had given me years before, with all the time I'd missed her attached.
Heart Set on You

An ambient heartbeat is often associated with relaxation, people try to imitate it for restful sleep or stress relief but I find it...annoying and everything that is the exact opposite of relaxation. It's a constant reminder of him, the one that won't leave; the one that I'm not sure is in fact dead by definition. He is a constant irritating reminder and the one to blame for my "social" issues. He has been with me every single moment since he took his last breath in the world, to only be revived like Frankenstein who had no choices in the matter either. I frankly would have preferred Frankenstein's company, less chatty and all.

But the major difference with Frankenstein, people could _see_ him. Not like the previous owner of this good ol' heart I received from the lost soul who's lying next to me like some fish.

Look at him, saliva dripping from his mouth, perfectly relaxed napping on his headstone. Of course he's perfectly relaxed...no one can see him. They only see the odd girl who talks to her imaginary friend. I'm forever labeled as the "crazy girl" who has to listen to the Drop Dead Fred references for an entire day at school. I curse Netflix for that one. It does not help my case that I sit in a graveyard with him almost every morning before school. Not that any of the kids from school have seen me here, if they did...I would just have to change schools...again.

Heart is the nickname I gave him. He liked it, so it stuck. It was settled months ago that I wouldn't go digging into Heart's past. The only thing he did want to know was where he was buried. He thinks if he comes here enough times then maybe his soul, mind, or heart will have this jolt of revelation and realize that he is dead as a doornail. We've been in this situation awhile so I'm not sugar coating anything—the whole scenario just stinks. Oh and even though I know his real name, I am not allowed to call him by it, something about settling into patterns or something.

Crap, he must have woken up because the echoing sound of my heartbeat stops. I don't know which sound I prefer, the sound of him sleeping or his exhausting sarcastic tone.

"Ellie! You freaking let me sleep with my neck all twisted! Now I got knots!"

I smirk to myself already knowing he holds a lot of tension in his neck. We haven't figured out why or how he can sleep, feel, and talk just like if he were alive. It's not like the guide to the afterlife from Beetlejuice really exists. I look over my shoulder at him while sitting in front of his headstone too, he's rubbing out the kinks in his neck irritated by me I'm sure. He stands up dusting the grass from his jeans and white t-shirt.

"Crap did I get grass stains on my shirt?" he asks turning so I can see.

"Is there anyone specific you are trying to impress, besides me?" I smile with full-blown fakeness.

"Well you are the one who dressed me like this." He gestures to his jeans and white t-shirt with a simple red heart on it. It did pair nicely with his classic chucks.

"You aren't dressed that way because of me." I snatch my book bag and stand up, slinging it over my shoulder ready to leave. "We don't know why any of this is happening to us, but we can hate it together." I give him a thumbs up then an immediate thumbs down as I walk away.

"Oh come on!" he chases after me gesturing to the heart on his shirt. "This is so you, it's how you see me. It makes perfect weird Ellie sense."

I stop, immediately pissed at him. "Take that back." I say through my teeth. "Right now, take it back Heart." I literally hear him swallow, knowing and even regretting what he said. He may be irritating but he knows when he's done something stupid, like hurt me.

"I'm sorry Ellie...really, I didn't mean to call you weird, it just came out like that. I didn't mean it like they say it."

I stay still and don't look at him. Yesterday was a hard day, a very hard day. I was caught talking to Heart again after an entire month hiatus because we were both being careful. But lame burger Aspen, who was named after the place she was conceived, saw me arguing with Heart and told everyone I was at it again. It was a fact that Aspen hated me. Reason is still unknown, she has no clue about my heart transplant and probably would leave me alone if she did know, but that would just give her an out. She is a cruel person who picks on people because of her own issues; she doesn't like people who are not like her.

"It's sort of tacky to name your kid after the place they were conceived." Heart says. "It's gross, scarring and it bars the kid from that place forever." He shutters at the word forever with a dash of cringe. I look at him trying to keep my angry face but laugh with him instead.

"You want to be called Heart." I point out.

"But I'm dead...or alive," he says looking towards my heart. "Depending on how you dissect it." I cringe my face a bit at the word dead.

"Am I forgiven?" he smiles.

"Forgiven."

He jogs a bit to catch up with me, returning to his point. "How do we know if this is really me? I mean I might not have looked like this and it's just the way you see me."

What he doesn't know is that I did see him, I don't know yet if I'm grateful or not for seeing but I did. I was sitting in my wheelchair waiting for my dad to take me for a night stroll in the halls since I couldn't sleep. A patient was wheeled into the room next to me. I wasn't sure why he was there but I remember hearing the doctors saying stuff about head trauma and hemorrhaging.

He looked so peaceful when he was wheeled past me; his face was scratched up and bruised pretty bad. His hair was dark brown and looked like he had just run his hands through it and left. He had some facial hair and a small scar on his chin. For a brief second I almost swear that he opened his eyes to look at me, but that would be impossible. I don't remember if I dreamed it or just imagine it but because of that moment his eyes are forever dark as death itself. Later that week he was gone, and I had a new heart.

"I guess I should be thanking you, I don't look too bad if I say so myself." I snap back from daydreaming and can't believe he is still going on about his looks. I roll my eyes as he examines his strong forearms. "Yup, not too bad."

"Well there is one thing I know for sure about you." I say. "You were definitely full of yourself when amongst the living."

"Technically I'm still amongst the living, you being living...thanks to me." He gloats.

"You are actually taking credit for my life with your death? How twisted are you? Can we just leave already? I'm already late." I start to walk faster out the gates of the cemetery towards my old VW bug. Heart is already sitting inside before I even open the door, a special talent of his.

"Okay just to clear things up, I do not take credit for your life. I think I figured out why I'm here and haven't crossed over."

"Please tell," I say pretending to be hopefully interested.

"Knock the sarcasm two notches down, it's too early." Heart plays with the radio while trying to explain. "I figure you are unhappy with your life and I'm here to fix it." He passes a song I like and I start to gesture to turn the dial back. "Nooooo, too depressing, like yourself."

"I like depressing," I sigh, "It conjures up feelings and honesty."

"The same thing can be achieved with happier music." He stops on a very poppy song. "It's 99 Luftballoons! Who doesn't get happy when this song plays?"

He begins to bob his head and play air drums on my dashboard. He shrugs me into a smile.

"If you knew what the song was actually about then you'd change your tune." I laugh.

"Then don't spoil it," he says turning up the volume. He starts to shout out more of his revelation about why he is here. I turn the radio down to save my ears. "I think because of your heart condition before the heart transplant you were very lonely, and I think you still feel that way, or feel like lonely is the norm for you."

"I like spending time alone, what's wrong with that?"

"You have NO friends, at all."

"I have friends." I'm shocked by his accusation. "What about Barbara, and Karen?"

He slaps his thigh laughing. "The nurses at the hospital! The names even sound old. You need friends your own age, and I don't count."

"I would call you an annoyance before a friend." I put my signal to turn left at First Street, Heart notices.

"If he's there he's gonna think you're stalking him Ellie. This makes four days in a row."

I was crossing that stalker fine line when it came to Seth. I couldn't help it; he was something good to look forward to. He was cookie cutter normal on the outside but had this optimistic quality I liked. He was into books that I've never read before. The way he spoke about them got me interested, so it wasn't like I was reading one he recommended just to please him or have something to talk about. It was because I wanted to know why it made him feel a certain way.

He was a major Science fiction buff too, something I wasn't too sure I could get on board with, but he was worth a try. I think that smile of his could coax me into anything. Luckily for me he went to a different school than me and didn't know about my invisible acquaintance.

I still remember the first day we met at the coffee house. I didn't see him at first until I noticed a hand waving at me to gain my attention. I took off my headphones and put the book I was reading down, my personal get away from Seth. The only way I could fool myself into thinking I was alone.

"Yes?" I smiled, seeing a guy my age with dark frame glasses and the best messy dark hair ever. His smile brightened a bit when he got my attention

"Uh...yeah. I was wondering..." He suddenly seemed nervous. "Is it okay if I sit here?" he gestured to my empty chair. "I mean, is this seat taken?" He played off his embarrassment with a light laugh.

"Wow you really scare him." Heart mocked next to me. I tried to acknowledge Heart without this guy noticing. "Well look at you, Ellie." Heart gestured. "You are in a total box and have a bright neon sign that reads, leave me alone."

"Why do you want to sit, with me?" I shrugged, ignoring Heart and his observation.

"Wow you're really into your book," the guy said when I then noticed how crowded the place was. "The thing is, I really need to finish this book for my next class and all the other chairs are taken."

"Sorry, I didn't realize how busy it was in here," I said while he looks to the empty chair again at my table. "Of course," I rushed my words, embarrassed. "Of course you can sit here." I quickly gave a demanding look to Heart to behave. He held his hands up in surrender, looking more intrigued by the guys imposition.

"My name is Seth." He shook my hand and I felt a tingle, swearing I noticed he felt something too.

"Ellie."

"Ellie? Pretty name. You go to Lincoln?" He fumbled in his backpack looking for his book.

"No I go to McKinnley."

"Well that sucks." He smiled. "I was hoping to pay back the favor by saving a seat for you at lunch today."

"You were so sure I'd say yes?" I said in sync with Heart who was supposed to be keeping quiet.

"Hey I just thought it would be nice to have another familiar face at school is all. You were kind enough to let me sit at your table so you have to be a decent person. You should have seen the look that old guy gave me when he noticed me scoping out seats." I laughed, and decided Seth was a pretty decent guy.

"Wow, this guy has a big pair." Heart mocked. "But he seems cool."

After a couple of days of running into Seth at the coffee house he started asking more personal questions.

"You have a boyfriend Ellie?" He pretended to cough.

I managed a laugh through my embarrassment. "Do I have a boyfriend? No, definitely not. You have a girlfriend?" I said pretending to pay full attention to my coffee.

"Nope," he said slowly smirking. "I do not." An awkward silence smothered us.

"Jeez, he's gonna choke," Heart said with inappropriate timing. I tried to ignore Heart but I could tell Seth wanted to ask me something but couldn't. I worried I read the signs wrong and maybe he didn't see me the way I hoped.

"Here," Seth said escaping to look in his bag. Obviously avoiding whatever he was going to say to me. "I brought a book for you to read. It's one of my favorites and I want your opinion on it."

"Lightning?" I said when he handed me the book.

"Yeah its got everything, suspense, drama, romance and time travel. I think you'll love it."

"Well I'm willing to give anything a chance, at least once." I said thankful.

"That's what I like about you Ellie. People like you end up doing great things because of the chances you're willing to take."

"Oh you're a fortune teller now?"

"No just a feeling I have," I felt him nudge my foot under the table as a joke. "There's a light you have, not too many people have it."

I remembered thinking at that moment how I didn't take chances. Not ever, because I was too scared of the outcome. Being picked on at school did that to me. It tore me down, layer by layer. Slowly taking a little strength each time I was called a horrid name.

I return my attention back to Heart in the car who is _still_ bantering about me stalking Seth.

"Did you ever think he could be stalking me? If he's there it will make four times for him too." I smile, gazing at the signal light to turn green.

"Wow, you really like him. I thought it was just a crush or something but you are secretly imagining the rest of your life with him right now aren't you?" I turn realizing Heart is staring intently at me with a smile.

"What?" I say embarrassed. "So what If I like him, doesn't look like he's ever gonna ask me out."

"That's it!" Heart pounds on the dash scaring me into a smile. "I gotta get you on a date with Seth. You need a relationship, someone to help you transition into the life of the living not the opposite."

"How in the hell are you supposed to do?" I start to turn into the coffee house parking lot.

"I know my resources are limited because of my situation but I can encourage you, coach you through the process." He rubs his hands together anxious for the task when I park the car.

"So I have a new life coach...that's dead?"

"Yup!" He says already at my car door window, making me jump in my seat.

"Ugh, I hate it when you do that." I look in the parking lot and notice Seth's car. I look at myself in my sun visor mirror, then take a quick glance at my choice of wardrobe of skinny tattered jeans, a hooded sweatshirt and beat up chuck high-tops. I topped it with my favorite beanie because I didn't have time to fuss with my hair. "What if he was just being nice with all the talk about books and stuff, what if he doesn't like me enough to go out on a date with me?"

"He likes you," Heart smiles. "If he was just being nice he'd find another of many coffee places to hang out in before school. And what's not to like, your pretty."

I immediately turn tomato red with an added eye bulge. Heart laughs in his charming manner. My insides tingle, Heart's never made me this nervous, I decide to ignore these feelings.

"What's the matter, I'm the first person to tell you you're pretty?" He stops laughing and does a double take because he realizes, no one has ever told me I'm pretty. "Seriously...no one...ever?"

"There's been a couple," I lie shrugging to make sure no one can see me talking to myself.

"Mom and dad don't count." Just as I am about to say a name he stops me with, "No, family members do not count. I'm asking if any guy has told you that you're pretty?"

"No." I shrink in my seat. "It's not like I was easy to get to in hospital rooms and home in bed. You're the first...guy to tell me I'm pretty." I see him start to smile. "Not that it means anything okay," I say trying to take him down a couple pegs. "It's just because you're a guy, that's all."

"Okay then." He opens my car door for me to get out.

"Don't touch anything while I'm talking to Seth, it distracts me. Just sit in a booth in the back until I'm done talking with him." I walk past him towards the front window to look for Seth. Another annoying trait of Heart's is that he can touch things and when things start moving around me that shouldn't, people get more curious then they should.

"Fine, but if he doesn't ask you out then you should ask him."

I turn abruptly causing us to collide a bit. I see Seth look up but I run and hide around the building before he notices. "What if he says no?"

"Then you move on and find someone who gives the right answer, and why wouldn't he say yes?" I try to think of an answer but Heart grabs my shoulders, spins me around and pushes me towards the door.

I walk in and hear the bell clang a bit too long on the entrance door. I look behind me to see Heart intentionally doing it. "What?"" He says. "I want to make sure he knows you're here."

"Ellie!" Seth says from his table. He has a book in his hands as usual but his smile seems brighter. He pushes up his bulky black frame glasses with his hand before gesturing to the second cup of coffee sitting at his table. "I bought you your drink hoping you'd stop by."

"Awwwwwww," Heart says. "That is just too sweet." I do my best to ignore his wit until he adds, "Probably forgot the—.

"With a bit of soy and extra vanilla, right?" Seth says proudly.

I swing my bag around a bit too hard, intentionally hitting Heart's chest to shut him up. I say through my teeth, "Sit. In. The. Back."

"What?" Seth says.

"Huh? What? Me?" I try my best to pretend I don't understand his simple question while watching Heart walk past me, rubbing his chest. I notice Seth's dark hair is wavier today on the top, maybe a case of bad bed head this morning. He's wearing jeans, and a faded green sweatshirt that's tattered at the wrists and loose around his neck. It must be hard for him to throw his favorite things out. He adjusts his glasses that remind me of James Dean and grins confused at my awkwardness.

I have no idea why I haven't sat down but I'm frozen. "Ellie, sit down already," he jokes. "I'm dying to hear what you think of the book so far." He pushes up his sleeves and then proceeds to get up from his seat to pull out the chair across from him. "Saved you a seat," He grins.

I hold my stomach briefly to withstand the EMP sized current that's just gone off inside it. My brain pulses with the different ways I can ask him out, because I know he won't. I figure the Band-Aid method will work best and I look to Heart in the back, he mimics the same Band-Aid reference by pretending to rip one off his own arm. I smile comforted by the fact he knows exactly what I'm thinking, like always. I quickly hide the smile because this oddly irritates me too.

"Ellie, you okay?" I can see a small measure of hurt across his face that ripples into a hopeful smile. "I promise, I'm not a vampire, a werewolf, an angel that hates the world because of the ongoing war between good and evil, or a cyborg." I know I must have the most odd looking face from Seth's references because he backtracks, fast. "I...I just want to spend some time with you, over coffee, please don't take me knowing your coffee—or even being here...as...as stalkerish—even though I know it must look that way."

At that moment I realize he is nervous. I made him nervous! He likes me just like I'd hoped. He continues to ramble on, and on, trying not to scare me away. With that I blurt, "You want to go on a date, with me?"

His face stalls into the classic dear in the headlights from his ramble. I however stood perfectly confident because I knew he'd say yes, and I liked it...a lot.

"Yes!" He stood up, putting his hands in his side pockets. He began to nod with the brightest glow I'd ever seen on him. "Yes, I would love to." He goofily gestured to my chair to sit in. I hurried right over and sat like a jackrabbit. I'll admit, I enjoyed the adrenaline rush I had because of the giant leap I just took. I tried not to move much in my seat because I was afraid I'd fall right out with how jumpy I was.

I managed to sneak a glance at Heart across the room before Seth sat down and giggled when I saw him shiver in his seat, but then a funny thing happened. When Heart shivered, he fluttered in and out of sight like a moth almost. When he finally stayed put I looked to Seth quickly.

"What's so funny?" Seth asked still smiling from ear to ear.

I shook the last of the adrenaline rush off me smiling still myself. "I'm just not used to doing that sort of thing—asking guys out, at all. I have no idea where I managed to get that hunk of courage."

"I should have asked you, I know I took too long, and you're probably used to guys asking you out—"

"Uh, no...I don't get asked out." Seth looks at me stunned. "Guys at my school don't line up at my door."

"Well they're idiots and I'm...lucky." He blushes and shrugs like he's worried he'd hurt my feelings. "I love that you did ask me," he continues. "It makes me like you even more now." I didn't care one bit I was blushing in front of him. I revel in my courageous act of the day. My complete drought of dates due to my former heart condition proved Seth was worth it. "Here," he slides my drink towards me. "Drink your coffee already." Before reaching for my coffee I dig in my bag for my drink cozy and switch the paper one for mine.

"Uhhh, what's that?" Seth looks amused at it.

"It's my cup cozy. Those flimsy ones still burn my hands a little so I made one last night. Crochet one actually. Why, is that strange?" I slump in my chair with a stressed Cheshire grin.

"No that's pretty awesome you can do that." He grabs my cup, inspecting my work. He then noticed my beanie. "That too?" I nod still unsure of my level of nerdiness. "What made you want to learn?" Seth asks.

"I don't know just thought it would be fun." Why did I lie? Why didn't I tell him I learned to crochet because I was alone a lot being in and out of the hospital, so it was an easy way to pass the time productively? I was really good. I made an entire afghan for myself once, and for nurses Barbara and Karen. Maybe it was too much to tell someone this soon. I told myself that I would definitely tell Seth later if things worked out. I wouldn't exactly call that an excuse but more of a rule.

"You think you can make me something?" Seth casually taps the top of my hand. His touch was similar to the feeling of I.V. fluids I'd received in the hospital, but instead not so cold, much warmer and soothing.

"Uh sure, what would you like?"

"Surprise me." He shrugs. "I'll add it to the list of things to look forward to on our first date."

"List?"

"Yeah like the fact you don't mind blushing in front of me, by the way guys love that because it literally shows us we are going in the right direction," I laugh and see Heart is starting to get up from his seat. "You also give people a shot instead of shooting them down right away, or else I would have been screwed from day one, and the major one, the one I have to thank you for is that you actually give me more courage." I look up immediately for that reason. "Yeah it's a bit corny, I know, but the first day I saw you in here it was like you were daring me not to talk to you. Like you're used to a limited audience I guess."

He leans in closer and lowers his voice. "I wanted to know your story." I can't speak because I've just been given the best compliment ever. It makes me feel happier inside than when Heart told me I was pretty.

"Man I hope I don't sound like one of those guys." Seth pulls away and rocks back in his chair a bit, clearly embarrassed.

"Those guys?"

"Yeah the ones that hold a conversation with a girl in a public place...such as this," he gestures. "And all the people around are thinking, man can that guy just shut up already, because that girl is clearly uncomfortable."

Just as I was about to say how comfortable I was with him, Heart jumps in. "So you've asked this guy out that you've been daydreaming about for the past week, can we go already because I'm so tired of hearing girl#1 and girl#2's gossip fest about who's dating the new quarterback. I am so glad I don't have to attend high school anymore, such minimal problems compared to the state of the world we are living in, or should I say formally living—."

"Oh hey," Seth says. "I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't realize you already had a friend here." I freeze and stare at Seth's finger, it's pointing to Heart. Actually pointing to my Heart. I look to Heart who is also stunned in the most unattractive way a person can be stunned. Mouth open, eyes bulged, and still frozen in the middle of the sentence which was about to state he is in fact...dead, and Seth can see him.

"I, I, I, I'm huuur friend?" Heart ponders.

"He's my friend!" I say quickly. "Yes, my best friend?" My eyes dart to Heart who is not used to me using this term. I look to Seth who keeps looking at me and Heart like we're one of those tennis matches on TV. "Well you're my best friend now, since you've been waiting so patiently for me in the back while I talk to Seth." I look quickly to Seth. "Moral support." I try to keep my eyes focused on the unbelievable train wreck that is happening in front of me. Luckily the coffee house isn't crowded and no one notices Seth and I speaking to no one.

Seth seems more relieved about Heart and doesn't catch on to what we are really uncomfortable about; he sticks out his hand towards Heart. "Sorry to keep you waiting back there, I'm Seth."

Heart shakes his hand and smiles like a child at a magic show when he can actually touch it. I let the breath I was holding go when he can too. "My name is Heart—"

"Man, his name is Heartman." I look at Heart nodding at my quick save. But then he still manages to tank it.

"People call me Heart though for short." He says quickly as I scream inside. Who is going to find Heart a believable name? "Yeah dad was a broker, mom was a hippie, they divorced and now I live with mom." Seth nods politely. "Just another statistic sadly in this game of marriage, but I got a cool name out of it. You've never seen me here with Ellie before?"

Seth shakes his head to Heart then looks to me. "Nope, you must have been here before I got here."

That meant Seth didn't see Heart walk in with me but why can he see him now?

"Okay, well we're gonna go." I stand quickly grabbing Heart by the arm. "Don't want to be late for school."

"I thought you said you didn't go to high school anymore?" Seth calls out. Apparently he was an excellent listener.

"Yeah Ellie, I don't go to school anymore, you know that." Heart dismisses.

"But he's my ride," Seth looks to my car parked closely near the window. "Heart here is just dropping my car off for an oil change then bringing it back to school for me." Heart looks to me with a big smile, yeah I can lie too.

"I'm a very good friend." He bows like a servant to me, I quickly pull him up and we jet out of the coffee house. I wave back to Seth and gesture to the napkin on the table with my cell telling him to call me later.

I'm so panicked; I have already pulled out of the parking lot and am a couple of signal lights away from school. I can only hear the sound of my puttering VW engine. Still trying to get over the new development that the guy I'm going on a date with, and hopefully more, can see the former owner of my heart, who also just happens to be dead.

"What the hell was that? And how can he all of a sudden see me, he didn't before." I hear Heart say. I turn to see he's braced himself in his seat as if we were just about to get in a car accident. I can't help but stare at the red heart on his shirt, noticing it looks the tiniest bit paler. Just as I'm about to point this out he raises his voice. "Ellie what the hell is going on?"

"How am I supposed to know? I don't know, and am just as freaked as you are. My hopeful future boyfriend and I are the only two people who can see my heart donor? Just throw me in the nut house now, because that relationship just isn't going to work."

"Future boyfriend?" Heart says.

"Seriously, that's the only thing you gravitated to in my freak out?" I push on the gas pedal when the light turns green and I hear my car tires chirp.

"I just didn't think you thought of him that far into your future, I thought it was just a date." He shrugs.

"I didn't say I was gonna marry the guy, just thought he was good relationship material. And why is this any of your business anyway?"

Instead of answering he turns on the radio for the rest of the way to school. He knows when I don't want to talk and I know when he doesn't, that's how we work. I begin to wonder if I could have a relationship with Seth. Him seeing Heart might be a good thing. It would relieve a lot of pressure and the stress I go through to have someone back me up when it came to Heart. But then again that's only if Heart stayed. If his matchmaking theory had relevance, then being with Seth could be the key to him being on his merry way and me living a normal life. It was worth a shot. The only weak element of this plan was I could be in a relationship consisting of one very loud shaky third wheel.

"It's worth a shot!" I say turning off my engine. Heart looks around the school parking lot from his auto pilot mode. "Your plan is worth a shot." I say again to him.

"My plan?"

"Yeah get me in a relationship with Seth. I will listen to your advice and weigh it carefully if it gets me in a relationship with him. If it works then you get to go wherever it is you get to go and I get to be happy with Seth." I open my door and leave the car with a far more cheerful outlook. Heart's plan actually made some sense for once. I walked to my schools front entrance with the biggest smile, letting the euphoria from the image of Seth at the coffee house set in my head. I held the hand he lightly touched in my other, sad the tingle of it was gone but then anxious at the chance of him holding it.

"Watch where you're going freak!" someone said bumping into my shoulder. As I pick up my bag that is now on the floor, along with some of my messy life contents, I see it was a football player this time. And just like that, Seth is gone. I don't even notice Heart crouched beside me.

"Do you think they have some sort of rotation as to who gets to shove you each week?" Heart starts to grab my phone and wallet.

"Don't help me," I snap quickly. I look around and see a freshman looking at me; she seems scared. I always get three reactions, hate, pity and scared. I don't know which I prefer but I know scared is not at the top of my list.

"If you help me they'll soon start calling me a witch."

"Sorry," Heart says softly.

"Do not feel sorry for me." I try to force down the hate and regret I have for snapping at Heart.

"Take a deep breath, and count to three in here." He lightly touches my head; I greet it with a smirk as I take a deep breath. "Now blink and start again." He smiles at me. "Feel better?"

I stand and nod yes as I put my bag securely over my shoulder.

"Works every time." He adds.

He's been doing this exercise with me for a while. He tries to help so much because he blames himself for my label at school. I have many labels though, such as weirdo, freak, psycho, oh and head case. I think the simple names hurt the most and are called out to me often since nothing cruel rhymes with Ellie. Heart and I head down the hall to my locker and we notice the students are whizzing past, or should I say through Heart.

"Looks like things are normal here, wonder why Seth can see me but they can't." I choose to shrug instead of answer verbally as I open my locker. "Seth can't be the only cool person to see dead people. We should try it out."

"How do we do that?" I whisper. "I don't know, maybe just pay attention more, maybe someone here has been able to see me this whole time and we never knew it." Heart begins to search the crowd of people looking to see if anyone makes direct eye contact with him.

"You look like your shooting laser beams from your eyes," I laugh quietly.

"You wish," he says staring into the crowd. "Uh, oh."

"What, Uh oh?" I say scared.

"I think I just made eye contact with that girl over there."

"Which one?" I say in a panic.

"The one headed right towards me dude!"

The young blonde girl walks right up to Heart and stops. I swear she looks right up at him. Heart turns to glare at me like he's just seen a ghost himself. Heart is too stunned to speak; it's hilarious and scary at the same time.

"Excuse me," I say to the girl who seems to be examining Heart. I settle the slight hope I have that she'll give me the right answer to my question. "Do you...see anything?"

The girl turns to me like lightning. "Well I see you because you've interrupted me."

"No, I'm asking if you see anything." I suggest and am quickly met with the girl's squeals of excitement. She then touches the billboard behind Heart and her arm reaches right through him.

"Ahhhh, I got the part! I can't believe it I got it!" she yells. Heart and I realize she can't see him. "Wait," the girl retreats quickly from her excitement. "Where you asking if I could see..."

I sink immediately and close my eyes tightly.

"Oh my god, you really do see ghosts or some crap like that don't you?" she says loud enough for others to hear and runs to her group of friends in the corner, I see her quickly telling them what I had asked her. I slam my locker door ready to hide and hate myself for believing Heart. He tries to consult me with a hug but I shove him away as I clear a path down the hall through the shuffle of students who are whispering about me. Then I hear something big hit the wall of lockers, I turn to see Heart has just kicked a trashcan at the locker doors and everyone takes notice. I look at Heart with so much anger his heated tantrum turns to remorse. His shoulders slump and his eye cower. "I'm sorry...I didn't, I didn't realize. The way they treat you just makes me so mad."

I flee and hide in the janitorial closet. Heart is soon at my side and this time I let him hold me. "Now they'll call me a witch." We try to laugh but I break down in tears. "I just want it to stop Heart. I'm so exhausted of thinking too much. Thinking and worrying about how I am going to act as if your not here, pretending not to talk to you and pretending what they say about me doesn't hurt that much. They're getting stronger Heart; they say it right to my face now. And I don't even know which person to worry about anymore."

"They're not all like that Ellie." Heart wipes my face and pulls my hair from my eyes. He doesn't normally linger this close to me.

"What are you doing?" I say embarrassed.

"Comforting you?" Heart's neck nods like a funny turkey and I laugh through my tears. "Isn't that what friends do?"

"You're my only friend Heart," I nod.

"Ellie there are good people out there, you just have to find your cool people."

"Like Seth?"

"Uh yeah," Heart clears his throat and nods. "Seth does seem pretty cool."

"So you'll help, like you said before?" I lean my head against his shoulder. "Because I really can't stand this anymore, I need you to say yes."

"I'll help you Ellie, not just because you can't stand it but because I can't stand to see you hurt, not anymore."

I couldn't wait to get to the sanctuary of my own room after school and enjoy a peaceful weekend. I checked my phone and saw there were no messages from Seth. I realized I didn't have his cell number so even if he did call I wouldn't know if it was Seth.

"He'll call, don't worry." Heart said spinning in my desk chair.

"What if he changed his mind?"

"I wouldn't, I'd call. So he'll call." I look at Heart who's shrugging makes him look uncomfortable, or maybe it's embarrassed.

"Seriously, you'd talk to a girl like me if you were still in high school?"

"Jeez, you make me seem like I died an old man!" He continues to spin and talk. "According to my tombstone I died at the tragic age of twenty and am only a couple years older than you."

"Do you ever wonder what you might have been like in high school?" I knew he couldn't remember but he had to think about stuff like that.

He stops his chair from spinning. "Nope." He says simply.

"Not even a little?" I say shocked. "You never wonder if you were artistic, sporty, intellectual, or a socialite?"

"Now you're just naming alternative Spice Girl names."

I can't help but laugh but stop when I hear my mom knocking at the door. She doesn't wait for me to tell her to come in. "Ellie?"

"Yeah mom."

"What were you laughing at?" She looks around the room suspiciously, as if she was trying to capture something.

I quickly pull my phone from my pocket. "A friend from school. I just hung up with them." After everything my family had been through with my health I never told her about Heart, I just couldn't bear to.

"Good save," Heart winks.

"Well your school just called saying an incident, happened today."

"It was just some girl at school, it's nothing, no big deal." I look to Heart who has struck an awkward tense pose, hanging on my every word. The school never called about us before. "Did they say anything else?" I ask.

"What else would they say?" She replied more curious.

"Nothing, I was just wondering."

"Honey I'm awful worried about you." She sighs. "I don't see you making any friends since your transplant and you never had a solid group of friends because of your stays at the hospital."

"I was just on the phone with a friend." I was insulted she thought I didn't have friends, and hurt because she was right. Her look of pity stings too much and I can't even look at Heart. Just then my phone rings and I jump. "See mom, there's my new friend calling me back. So can I please be left alone to talk with him?"

"Him?" she smiles quickly. "Who's this him?" First crisis averted, second one, not looking too well.

"His name is Seth." I answer quickly hoping it's not a wrong number and a little too anxious to evacuate my mothers questioning.

"Hey Ellie." I hear Seth say.

"Hi Seth." I say intentionally to my mom so she'll give me some privacy. "How are you?" she gets the hint and leaves with more confidence in her daughter.

"I really want to see you." He says quickly.

"I want to see you too." I blush.

"You left so quickly this morning, I wished you could've stay longer."

"I know, I had fun with you today, I wanted to stay too."

"Oh god, do I have to listen to this?" Heart complains.

"I noticed our schools are playing against each other tonight and was wondering if we could meet at the football game." Oh no, Oh no, Oh no. The one place I didn't want to be. "I think it would be a fun first date, don't you? I could meet your friends or you could meet mine. We can even grab a bite to eat after if you want to..." My skin was electric from the speed of his voice, he was nervous again. Then his voice softened into a worried whisper. "I really hope you want to."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't go to that game. I'd be slaughtered for sure after the incident at school today. I mouthed to Heart that Seth wanted to meet me at the game tonight.

"No way! You can't go!" He says loudly.

"Who was that?" Seth asks. "Is that Heart?"

I forgot if Seth could see Heart he could certainly hear him too. Heart slapped his hand over his mouth while I did the same to my head.

"Yeah, actually. We're just hanging out, like friends do." Like friends do?

"Why doesn't he want you to go?" He was hurt. I started playing a very dramatic game of charades with Heart explaining that he better help me fix this while Seth waited for an answer.

"I don't know. Heart, why can't I go to the game with Seth?" Heart's face slumps like I just gave him a huge load to carry on his own.

"Be, be, because," he paces back and forth. "Because of the rivalry...between your schools? Yeah once the schools see you're on a date with the enemy it'll be Romeo and Juliet all over again." I look at him unimpressed with his reasoning. He on the other hand had faith in his explanation. "They'll be blood, revenge...words...all over that stadium."

I hear Seth laughing on the other end. "I think it'll be okay, but tell Heart not to worry. We'll be fine, I'll make sure none of my friends are that hard on you."

"So we'll sit on your side," I say more willing.

"Yeah, then whenever you want we can go to your side, sound good?"

"That's perfect, I'll meet you there."

I hang up with Seth more excited for our date.

"What the hell Ellie, you know you can't go to that game."

"I can go if we meet on his side of the stadium and then I carelessly forget to take him to meet my friends." I say proudly.

"Okay...I guess that'll work." I can tell Heart is a bit apprehensive. "When do we leave?"

"Oh I forgot about that." Heart can't exactly leave my side. He's tethered to me, at least for twenty feet, give or take. "Do you think you can just make yourself scarce?" Heart's face drops. "Don't be mad, I just want some alone time with Seth. Remember this was your plan."

"Our plan now, and yeah I can hang back a bit, try to go unnoticed by him." I leaped up to him and hugged him tight. All that time I hated Heart always being around, now I was happy to have someone with me, helping me. He was a good person. "I just want to make you happy Ellie." I hear Heart say in my ear. "Will this person make you happy?"

I step back from him and look at the heart on his shirt. It looks different, maybe a smidge less vibrant than this morning. I put my hand on it. "When I'm gone," Heart says. "If this works and I leave I want to know that you're happy."

"I'm happy now." I offer. "But yeah, I think if you have to go, I'll be okay."

Heart puts his hand to the back of my head and kisses my forehead. We both smile. "You know," He says. "You've, _we_ have always been friends, even though we love to hate each other, we've always had each other. I'm going to miss that, with you."

"I know, me too." We were about to try our final plan to live separate lives. I think we were both sentimental this time because we believed this was really going to work.

Later at the game I parked my car in a stall far away so I didn't get noticed from anyone at my school. I walked up to the stadium and realized I didn't know what side to enter in. That's when I received a text from Seth saying he was on the west side waiting at the ticket booth. Heart made himself scarce and hid in the crowds so that Seth wouldn't notice him. I noticed Seth looking for me at the booth. He was wearing a military style jacket, gray sweatshirt with jeans and old boots. When he noticed me it was like an arrow pierced my chest. His face lit up and it felt amazing to see the effect I had on him. He adjusted his glasses before lightly jogging to me.

"Hey you!" He immediately bear hugs me. "You look great!"

I had the same jeans I wore this morning but dressed it up a bit with a nice warm sweater, light jacket and cozy gloves I made. I pulled the scarf from my neck and put it on Seth.

"This is for you," I adjusted it and looked it over making sure it was the right length. I chose a nice shade of blue that would compliment his light complexion and dark hair.

"I love it, thank you." He took my hand in his, which felt electrifyingly good and we headed to get our tickets. "I thought this would be a nice surprise."

"Surprise?"

"Yeah, we're on your side of the school." If I could drop through the center of the earth I would have at that moment. I looked around in a panic while Seth got our tickets, noticing my school colors. My palms began to sweat and I was thankful for my gloves so Seth couldn't feel how gross my hands were. I tried to keep calm but I don't think it was working because Seth looked at me funny.

"You okay with this?" He stopped in front of me so I had no choice but to stop walking, looking for a place to hide.

"Yeah...it's fine. It's just, I haven't really eaten anything today so I think I'm just light headed, or something."

He put his hand on my shoulder concerned. "Don't worry about it, lets grab you something from the snack bar." We turn and head to the snack bar. I freeze when I realize who runs the snack bar, kids from my school.

"Wait!" I stopped behind Seth who looked more confused. "I can't go to the snack bar, or even be on my side of the stadium." I try to muster up the words but can't. I can see Heart across the way, looking very concerned but he still stays his distance like I asked. I could see it hurt him but I had to do this on my own.

"Ellie what's wrong?" Seth encourages.

"The truth is...I don't have any friends for you to meet. The only friend I have is Heart. I'm sort of the odd girl at school."

"Everybody's odd Ellie," Seth shrugs, not really getting the picture I was trying to paint for him.

"No I'm _the_ , odd girl. The one everyone talks about behind her back, the butt of everyone's jokes, the one they fear because they're just too closed minded. I have no friends because no one wants to be." I try not to cry but people look worse when they try not to, so I let the tears escape and something extraordinary happens. I feel the best set of arms around me, the best kind of warmth I knew I would be addicted to forever. His scent of autumn spices, and coffee were now the smell of comfort, if comfort had a smell. Seth was my personal shield against the hurt. I could feel the pain melting away. I took a moment to exhale and although my problems did not vanish, the wounds had a definite better outlook.

"Screw them Ellie," he says still hugging me. "Truly original people like you deserve greatness, and sometimes the unoriginal can't see that yet, too clouded by expectations of others." He pulls away and looks me straight in the eye with a smirk. "But you'll be far gone on your personal shooting star and crap, won't you?" He shrugs. "Yeah, that's when they'll realize how great you are," He leans in and whispers in my ear, "I know this to be true."

I giggled from his tickling whisper. "So are you my greatness?"

He began walking ahead of me, "We shall see. Now come on let's get you some junk food."

I run to catch up with him, taking his arm in mine.

After we get some cotton candy and churros we find some seats away from everybody at school so no one notices me. I was grateful for Seth's patience and it was a plus because Heart could still sit close by and give us privacy without Seth knowing.

"Why was the girl at the snack bar acting so unusual?" Seth asks.

"It might have had something to do with what happened at school today. Something I don't really want to talk about, but to put it briefly, I was at the center of unwanted attention." I could see Seth was fine with this explanation and am relieved. "That and I think you made her nervous."

"Why would I make her nervous?" Seth said stuffing a piece of cotton candy into his mouth.

"Because your gorgeous, and someone like you isn't seen with someone like me."

"Are you saying you're not gorgeous?" he huffs. "Please you are drop-dead, no effort gorgeous. And I'm willing to bet most guys at your school think so too but don't have the balls to admit your kind of gorgeous is far superior to the magazine industry's definition of beauty."

I had to laugh, not just a polite laugh either, the belt out kind that can be heard from a distance, and I didn't care if it drew attention. Seth had a way with words that almost made him seem unreal and I reveled in it. I managed to let my guard down. "Please, you could be on the cover of GQ tomorrow."

"Well at least I know I have a chance at some side work if my dream as a professional clown doesn't pay off." He wiggles his glasses from behind his ears, making me laugh again.

"So do you know what you want to do after high school?" I nudge, my laughter dying down. "Or is the glamorous world of clowning your inevitable path?"

"Ha ha," he responds with a fake laugh. "Actually, I think I want to be a teacher, my dad isn't too excited about it because he feels I should shoot higher. But I want to make a difference you know. I think some kids get overlooked and what if that happens with one kid who can make a difference. A missed opportunity, down the drain."

He definitely had passion, and I admired him for it. I wanted to think of my life the way he did, full of options.

"How about you. What do you want to do?"

I realized then...I had no clue. The one thing that consumed my time was my heart. It gave me no time to think about my future because I didn't think I'd have one. As Seth waited for my answer I knew I had to tell him why I didn't know. Not because I had to, but I wanted to.

"I think I need to come clean with you about something, and I really hope you don't get scared away because of it." Seth's eyes tethered on confusion and concern but he was ready to listen. "I haven't had time to think about my future because I was really close to not having one. I've had a heart condition since I was a kid and soon after I was about thirteen, I got worse. The doctors said I needed a transplant. I stopped going to school because I was tired of being treated as the breakable girl and hospitals became a new second residence. After a heart became available I had a transplant." Seth's eyes went immediately to my heart. "I decided to go to school after that instead of homeschool, but it didn't work out as I planned. I was so scared to talk to anybody, my plan of re-socialization backfired on me. Heart is the only person I can talk to and people make fun of me because of it."

"That's horrible." He put his arm around me and looks around the crowd of students afar with disgust. "Heart's a really good friend to you, huh?" He asks and I nod. "Well then I'm glad you have him, but you can add me to that list too, but with a big plus sign...a BIG plus sign actually, huge!" He shrugs my shoulder getting a bashful smile out of me. He leans in a bit and I swear I think he's going to kiss me. "Hey isn't that Heart right there?"

I look at the crowd behind us frantically. I see

Heart a few benches up, he seems to be forcing a smile for me.

"He looks pretty bummed sitting alone," Seth says. "Is that my fault?" Before I could answer Seth stands up and yells, "Come down and sit with us! It's cool." I freak out because poor Seth didn't know that no one else could see Heart besides us. Heart was more shocked and tries to shrug of Seth's invite kindly.

"No you guys are on a date, I'm good." Heart dismisses.

"You sure, we don't mind?" No one seems to notice Seth isn't talking to anybody. To anyone else he's just shouting to a friend in the crowd. "Suit yourself." Seth sits back down with me and my stress is quickly at bay. "Jeez, isn't he cold in just that t-shirt, it's freezing out here."

"It's kind of his favorite." I explain. "Look I'm sorry for laying all this teen angst on you on our first date. I just wanted to make sure you knew that stuff before you decide whether or not you want to keep dating me."

"I've decided you are a pretty awesome girl Ellie. I really want to keep dating you. You shouldn't worry about what other people think, maybe I can help with that."

"How are you going to help?"

He tosses one final bite of cotton candy in his mouth, slaps his knees and stands up. "Follow me." He drags me up from my seat towards the mega crowd of students from my school a couple of sections away. I look behind to see Heart anxiously scurrying behind us worried about what Seth is going to do. Usually he'd speak up but couldn't because of Seth. I notice him flicker in and out like this morning. He almost seems to be shorting out like a light bulb but then quickly holds his image. Seth starts walking in the aisle between the largest parts of the crowd. I pull his hand back.

"What are you doing? I can't go up here."

"Ellie, don't you know? They can't tell you what to do because you can do whatever the hell you want. This is your life, not theirs." How could I not follow him after that? It was true. When he finally stops, football fans with pom-poms and banners cheering surrounded us. People start to notice me and their judgmental stares seem to scatter like dominoes, all directed at me.

"Ellie I really like you!" Seth yells so all the crowd can hear. Meanwhile I tried to put my brain back in my head because it had pummeled to the floor. "I think you're gorgeous and this scarf you made me is wicked cool!" People in the crowd start to laugh along with me surprisingly. "You're the best quality of real, I can't imagine being here with anyone else but you and I'd really like to kiss you right now!" One of his brows arches, almost daring me to let him kiss me. He leans in close to my ear, "You asked me out first; I'm kissing you first."

Before I could talk his lips and all of his sweet cotton candy goodness were on mine in an instant. With each burst of sugar more gasps were heard around us along with cheers. Whether they were for the game or for us I didn't care, because I had vanished completely with Seth. This is what not caring what people think felt like. I felt invincible and free of persecution. Kissing Seth in front of everyone was like being invisible because I didn't care what other people thought or what they said. Seth made me forget.

Seth pumps his arms in the air and shouts, "Best first date ever!" I pull him by his scarf and kiss him again.

After Seth and I say goodbye in the parking lot Heart and I drive home, deathly quiet, no pun intended. I did feel guilty that Heart had to hide the entire night from Seth. If he hadn't it would have just been awkward; it still made him feel like a third wheel though I'm sure. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but honestly...I was scared of his answer. He had a tossed up look about him, on one side he could just be thinking about nothing, but the other side, the one I was afraid of, was the pissed off look. The one where he would rather sit and stew up all his frustration, thinking and plotting every possible answer he could give me to the only question I could ask. I decided to plunge in.

"What's on your mind Heart?"

He doesn't answer, leaving me to drive in silence for another minute.

"So is this how it's gonna be?"

"I thought you wanted...we wanted this," I corrected. "It was the only way—"

"But what if it doesn't work Ellie? What if I don't go? What if I end up stuck here no matter what we do, and I have to hide forever from your new guy Seth? I'll be walking on nails the entire time when you two are together, making sure he doesn't see me."

"I thought you were all in?"

"That was before he could see me. I've never had to hide before. I'm always right next to...it's different." He shrugs.

"I think the phrase is eggshells." I add trying to include our old friend humor.

"What?"

"The phrase," I say turning onto my street. "The phrase is walking on eggshells, not nails."

He mumbles something that sounded like "not for me," but I chose not to push. I felt too horrible for putting him in this position. I had to make it right.

"Okay let's say we do all this work and you don't go away after Seth and me are together," Heart stays in his seat after I park my car in front of my house. I turn to explain but am surprised at the longing stare he's returning me. It's not casual like usual.

"Ellie if that happens, then I know there really is a personal hell."

"Can you stop being dramatic?" I pretend he's being typical Heart but the tingle my body gets assures me it's something else; I ignore it. "I think it would be best for all three of us if I tell him about you."

"NO! Absolutely not Ellie!" Heart shouts. He puts his hands to his head frustrated with me. "Are you mad, you can't tell him, it's impossible. You can in no way thoughtfully tell someone That you can see and talk to a dead person. Oh, and include the minor detail that this dead person is also the previous owner of the heart in your chest." I think he's done but he adds, even more frustrated. "Don't forget the major biggie, you have to explain he's the only other person that can see him too."

"Seth's different, I know he'll get it because he gets me. I have complete faith in him." I say proudly. I take Heart's hand even though he'd rather look at my front door then at me right now. "He's a good person Heart, I can see that, why can't you?"

He turns to me while I still hold his hand in mine. Only his face looks cold and intolerant. "Ellie, your optimism is sad, you only see him that way because you're being naïve and he's the only other person who'll speak to you besides a dead guy."

In a split second my bliss hits humility in a head on collision. I don't know whether to run and cry or smack Heart across the face. So I follow through with both options and smack Heart across the face and leave him in the car. I run inside and plunge into my bed crying. He has never said something so mean to me, ever. My beacon of encouragement, even though irritating turned on me when I wasn't looking. After a few minutes to myself I feel Heart lay beside me on my bed. He gathers me like his favorite blanket and hugs me tight.

"I'm so sorry Ellie. I didn't mean it, please forgive me?" He whispers.

"Only if you tell me why you said it?"

"I think I said it because I'm going to miss my friend. I didn't have many friends when I was alive, at least not like you."

"Wait I thought you didn't remember your life before."

"I lied, I remember a lot. It's not all good. For one I was a bully, like the idiots who pick on you at school. Now you know why I didn't want to tell you. I wonder if that's partly why I'm here with you. Maybe to help you." I turn around to look at him and he looks ashamed. "I see what it must have felt like to be one of those kids I picked on at school, but when you and me talk, you are so strong. You've put me in my place plenty of times." He smiles in a way that tells me he's proud. "And I wonder if the kids I messed with were strong like you. Because if they were, I smothered it until it couldn't breathe. I'm awful Ellie; I'm ugly and little inside. That's why you got my heart, because you'll do better things with it."

I take his face in my hands and look at him. "You were awful, you were a bully, but you're not that now. You're my coach in life, my encouragement and sort of my wing man in the halls at school," We laugh and it feels good, familiar. "I think I would be far worse at school if it weren't for you. Maybe the kids at school would have messed my future up or something, we may never know. But I do know I need my friend."

We hug each other and Heart knows he's forgiven. "I just don't want him to hurt you Ellie," he says still hugging me. "You mean so much to me and I don't want him to run from the great person you are because he's too scared to deal. I just think you should give it more time before you drop this bomb on him."

"He won't run." I say.

"But what if?"

"He won't."

"But what if Ellie? What if your wrong and because of me you lose? Do you have complete faith in him after a short time?"

"It's not right to let him believe you really exist. We'll be making a fool of him."

"I'll be better, I'll be better at being discreet when you two are together. Just give it a month, one month Ellie."

It wasn't a bad idea but it still made me feel guilty. I did believe Seth would be okay with my issues but there was always going to be a slight chance he wouldn't, the minimal chance he'd be like everyone else.

"Okay one month, then I'll tell him everything."

I did have faith in Seth but I couldn't help let that bit of doubt override that faith like a megaton anvil. I can't explain it but I had an instinct about him. I knew he was special and convinced myself this was the right thing to do.

The next month was indeed interesting. For the most part Heart always stayed a good distance from us to give Seth and me our privacy. When Seth and Heart did converse, I tried my best to have them in less public places, like at home or when we drove together. But it was hard to watch when people noticed Seth talking to no one. I tried my best to sit across from Seth so people would just think he was talking to me but it only worked about half the time. It never did help when Heart was especially chatty. I think he did it to torture me. Seth did ask me why Heart always wore the same t-shirt.

"It's his favorite and I think he's a bit superstitious about it."

"He's gonna have to toss it eventually, at least we know he's washing it. Look how faded it's getting." Seth gestures.

I recognized the once bright red heart was fading on his t-shirt, we never mentioned it but knew what it meant. The plan was working and I knew I would have to say goodbye to Heart, soon. He even started to fade in and out more, and for longer periods of time. Tonight he was gone for a good chunk of time after my date with Seth. I run to him relieved when he finally appears in my room.

"Oh my god Heart," I say hugging him. "I thought that was it. I thought you were gone for sure."

"How long was I was gone?"

"Thirty minutes." I examine his face; he looks exhausted.

"It felt like forever, I'm so weak Ellie." He sits on my bed and I put my arm around him. "It felt like I was fighting."

"Who were you fighting?"

"No it felt like I was fighting to come back here. Like some force was holding me down. But the force wasn't angry it was more soothing but I didn't want it, it wasn't you Ellie, It wasn't my friend."

"If we couldn't make it thirty minutes how can we ever say goodbye?"

Heart takes my hand. "It's time to tell Seth Ellie. I can go at any time and he has to know. I know it's close to under a month but the next time I go it may be for good."

"How can we prevent you from leaving again?" I say desperately. "I need you to be there with me when I tell Seth, I need my friend."

"I think that's enough to keep me here, you needing me always kept me here and since you don't need me as much, that's probably why I'm fading."

I sigh and flop backwards on my bed.

"It's okay Ellie, this is what we wanted. I want this for you."

"I know that, but I think I know why you disappeared for so long." Heart looks at me hopeful. He would consider just about anything to fix this. "Seth told me he loved me." I say to the ceiling. Then I look at Heart who looks wounded. "And I told him I loved him too." He flickers again and I actually saw what was left of the color red on his heart shirt fade away. I grab his hand tightly.

"Don't go Heart," I say. "I still need you."

He manages a sad smile. "We should do this quickly, like a Band-Aid."

I text Seth telling him to meet me at the cemetery, less than a half an hour Seth screeches up in his car leaving his headlights on. He runs in a panic and I can see his breath in the cold. "What's the matter Ellie, you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I should have thought meeting here would scare you."

"Uh...yeah." His worry turns into a smile, humored by me of course.

"Well it's more comforting to me." I shrug. Seth

grabs me into a hug and kisses my head.

"Seriously are you okay Ellie?"

I look at him and try to remember how much love I see in his face for me. I pray it's still there in about an hour. I take his hand and lead him into the cemetery. I tell him I visit here in the mornings before school ever since my transplant. He makes sure not to step directly on top of the graves, being respectful to the dead. I'm scared to feel anything because I'm about to lose my best friend but gain a friend who I am in love with, a loss and a gain that will hurt until no end. We finally stop at Hearts grave and I let go of Seth's hand. I walk to the tombstone and rest my hand on it like an old friend.

"Ellie you are really scaring me right now," Seth looks to the grave and then me. The possible assumptions that could be occurring in his head, race through my own and I gather my courage to explain. "Ellie, just tell me why we're here in a cemetery visiting?" he looks to the grave trying to read it.

"Don't say his name!" I say quickly. "He doesn't like to be called by it."

Seth looks at me even more confused, but not scared.

"Remember my heart transplant? Well the heart...the heart I got, it came from this person—the person that's buried here, now."

Seth points to the grave. "That guy's heart is in you?" I nod letting him process. He looks to the grave again. "He was so young, only a bit older than us. Do you visit him because it helps you?"

"In a way it helps us."

"Us?"

Heart walks from behind some trees he was hiding near, waiting for the right time to come out. His hands are in his pockets and nervous.

"What's going on Ellie," Seth's glare reads more into why Heart is here.

"It's not like that, let me explain." I say knowing he thinks something is going on between Heart and me.

"She loves you Seth...only you." Heart confirms, and I can't help but hear a tone of resentment.

"He's right Seth, what I have to tell you may take some time to process but just know that I do love you." Like a Band-Aid I tell myself, do it now. "The heart that saved my life, the persons grave we're at now, it's his, it's Heart's."

Seth's hands shake much like his thoughts were doing right now in his head. "No, no, no, that would mean..."

"That I'm dead." Heart adds. "I'm dead Seth, and the only person who could see me was Ellie, until you."

"I can see you." Seth confirms simply. Then his face drops just as he asks, "I can see you?" Seth's breathing starts to turn a bit frantic as he steps back looking to me for answers. "Why can I see him Ellie?"

"We don't know." I say. "But you didn't always see him. The day I asked you out is when you were able to."

"And...you let me?" Seth says to the ground.

"What?"

"Why did you let me?" Seth asks with a more accusing tone I never wanted to get familiar with. "Why did you let me go on like everything was normal? This is anything but normal. Were you both trying to make a fool of me? Is this some game you two play?"

"What? No," Heart offers. "It's not like that."

"You let me parade around while people thought I was talking to someone who isn't there." Seth argues.

"That's what my life is everyday." I point out. "I walk around trying to seem normal but it's impossible when you have someone like Heart in your ear."

"No the difference between you and me is that you at least know no one else can see him, I didn't."

"We thought you'd run away." Seth pleads. "She couldn't risk telling you because she didn't want to lose you."

"Please Seth, you have to understand why I didn't tell you, or least why I had to wait." I explain, trying to get him to look at me, this was not a soothing sign. "Seth, you have to give me the chance to make this right."

"Don't you think I deserved the same thing Ellie? This isn't some common typical secret; this is way bigger. You knew in the beginning whether I could be trusted with your secret, yet you chose not to tell me, to include me in your world. You didn't even give me a chance."

"You know this isn't fair, it's not the same Seth." I argue.

"Yeah Seth, can't you see, she couldn't risk it."

"And you, " he points to Heart. "You're enabling her. You make her scared because you remind her of what she can lose. But what is she really losing by listening to you?" Seth turns to look at me. He has a pleading look, hoping I understand. "She has no friends, no identity to claim as her own, she isn't really here for all of us to see because the only one who really sees her is a dead guy."

I look at Heart realizing he does know me the best. He knows my every secret. He knows why I'm scared and why I keep people away. I keep people at bay because I don't want to lose them. It will hurt too much. I was used to a life that I believed would end prematurely, soon to be revived with a gift from the very person who knew me best. I was alive but still living like I was about die. I hear Seth's footsteps coming closer towards me; they crunch in the wet cold grass. He touches my chin with his thumb and I let the tears I was holding fall.

"I'm sorry," I manage to say. "I should have told you."

"It's not a matter of telling," He whispers. "It's the matter of trust Ellie. You didn't trust me enough to let me in and tell you that I believe you, completely."

Those three words end me. My walls, building, world and whatever else can be torn down by a revelation like his was shattered and I nearly tumble to the ground. I feel Seth grab me and I weep because of the words I was desperate to hear, I _believe_ _you_.

"I have to go." Seth whispers.

"No, why?" I grab his shoulder scared. "I need you, everything's okay now. I want to give you a chance now."

He looks to the ground shaking his head. "No Ellie it's too late, you need to figure some things out before we can see each other again. I hope it's sooner than later. I still love you, that won't ever change." He gestures to Heart standing oddly alone. "If you want him in your life then I'm fine with it, I understand if you don't have a choice, this isn't a it's me or him scenario. But I want to help; you deserve to be seen. Not so you can be judged, so you can be proud of your greatness. A gift like you can't hide forever. I'm not saying to let everyone see you, you decide that, I hope you let me."

He kisses me once on my cheek and whispers. "I will see you...soon."

He was gone and Heart mops the mess, as usual.

A week had gone by with no calls or texts from Seth. But one of the many things he said to me resonated, a lot. It was ringing in my ears like the liberty bell in stereo.

I spring up from my bed. "He said...you let me."

"She finally speaks, after a week moping in bed." Heart exclaims.

"Just shut up and listen." I order Heart. "Seth said...you let me."

"Yeah so." Heart dismisses.

"What if I actually have the power to let people see you? What if I have been able to chose who knows about you? What if after asking Seth out and you walked up to the table, I let him see you because my guard was finally down?"

"That's a lot of "what if's", like a lot. That must be some record or something of a possible point being possibly proven."

I take Heart's hand and run downstairs. I find my mom in the kitchen already plating my dinner on a tray to take to my room. She had been doing this the last week since the break up, fight, whatever it was that happened with Seth. She was great and I always suspected she suspected my odd behavior. She ignored the accidental whispers I'd given Heart or the odd looks at nothing in the corner, when it was always Heart. But she never questioned, maybe she was scared of the answer.

"Mom, there is something I really need to tell you." I say rushing my words together. She gets spooked and fumbles with a half filled glass of water on the tray. Like a mom she attends to the mess right away. "Mom, it's important and I really need your attention."

"And you have it, as soon as I clean this up."

"Mom, I want you to meet somebody."

"What the hell are you doing Ellie?" Heart whispers.

"Just trust me." I say to Heart.

"Well honey I always trust you." My mom thought I was talking to her and not to Heart. "Who is this new person," she says rinsing out her washcloth. "This doesn't mean Seth is gone for good does it, because I really liked him for you. I had hoped you could work things out. You were doing better than I've ever seen you. You smiled more and laughed." She turns and seems more spooked than when I first startled her. Her eyes seem incapable of blinking, ever. Her washcloth is held close to her chest.

"Oh my, how long has he...has he been there the whole time? She was fumbling through her words, probably embarrassed because she was building up Seth a minute ago in front of Heart. "He wasn't there a second ago."

"She can see me?" Heart points at her. "Why, why, why can she see me?" If I didn't know any better, Heart was actually happy that my mom could see him.

"Will," My mom calls to my dad who is sleeping in his favorite chair. "Did you let this young man in to see Ellie, because I did not hear a knock at the door? She speaks to him like he is totally coherent, not even letting him wake up properly from her fuss. "Young man did you sneak in my daughter's bedroom?" Well that woke him up.

"Bedroom!" my dad stands up like a man brought back to life. "Who snuck up into my baby girls bedroom? You young man, I did not let you into my house."

"Will, I have already taken on the role of frantic parent so you get calm parent." My mom says touching his arm.

My dad had slept a lot, I liked to think it was because he was finally at peace after the whole; my daughter almost died thing. It was time for his worries to rest until now. All the commotion from my parent's freak out and Heart ecstatic about being seen was very loud. My parents making accusations to Heart and Heart muttering something about "finally" was like a full whirlwind tornado I was smack in the middle of.

"Will you all just settle down?" I yell. When the voices stop I look to my parents. "Can you see anyone in this room besides me?" More accusations were on the tips of their tongues until I gesture to please be quiet. "Just answer the question, please."

"Well of course we see the guy standing right next to you Ellie," my dad says insulted. "And we are both frankly concerned of how he got in this house if it wasn't through the front door."

"He was right," I say with a joyful hop. "Seth was right!"

"About what?" My mom's patience is wearing thin.

"Seth, he was right. I can let people see Heart."

"Who the hell is Heart?" My dad shouts confused.

"I'm Heart sir," He says. "Nice to meet you."

After the commotion I explained to my parents about Heart. It was a lot for them to take in but I was most surprised by how willing they were to listen rather than suggest dragging me off someplace so they could pick my brain. My mom cried at first and my dad's only expression was a funny look on his face until the shock eventually drained, turning into awe. They were in awe of Heart, completely. They each took him in their arms and hugged the dead guts out of him. They thanked him for giving the only gift that could save my life. They apologized for his loss of life as well, and knew it was cut too short. They could never thank him enough or match the gift they received from him, for me. Heart even cried because they saw him for the life he was and were thankful for it. Everything was unbelievably good because my parent's were given a chance, from me. One I didn't give Seth.

"I knew things were a bit off with you dear," My mom says to me. "I was just trying to give you your space. I knew you would come to me eventually. But I never imagined this," she laughs. "It all makes sense now."

"I still need to fix things with Seth. He helped me with this, and I have to let him know."

"How do you intend to do that, he isn't even speaking to you?" Heart says. "It's all my fault, I ruined any chance you had at being normal."

"Normal is boring Heart." I proclaim. "Original is best, and I didn't embrace mine. This is my fault Heart."

"Have you even tried to talk to him?" My dad asks. "Maybe he's cooled down by now."

"I could come up with a dozen reasons why I haven't tried, but the number one reason...I'm scared. It'd be easier if he came to me."

"Life isn't full of easy," My mom says like a typical parent. But typical parenting advice is usually spot on not matter how corny.

After a day of pacing back and forth in my room and Heart talking with my parents downstairs, I decide to try and gather up my courage to call Seth. I come up with a number of opening lines, but _Hey_ was the only logical one out of, _How's it going_ , and _was just wondering how you're doing_. The last two give him first bat and complete control of the conversation, which I desperately need in order to explain myself.

That's when to my surprise my phone rings with Seth's name on my caller I.D.

"Hey Ellie, how's it going?" His voice is music, pure alternative, loaded with teen angst music.

"Hey to yourself," I halfway gasp and smile while trying to find exactly where my bed is to sit from shock. He's silent and it scares me so I say the first thing on my mind. "I'm sorry." Still nothing. "I hurt you and didn't give you enough credit. I shouldn't have put you in that box like I do with everyone else. You're not like everyone else. I finally told my parents about Heart."

"Seriously? What did they say," I smile because I could totally tell he was smiling too.

"They were surprisingly okay, a bit shocked at first but they love Heart. They just kept thanking him and saying they were sorry at the same time. Can you believe it?" I laugh.

"Of course I can, who wouldn't be thankful for a girl like you."

"Does this mean you're okay—."

"Ellie I called to ask you something." He cut me off before I could ask if I had been forgiven.

"Oh, okay?"

"I want to meet you someplace, but you have to promise before I tell you where." He sounds pleased. That was good right? Better than angry, hurt, and unforgiving.

"Yes, I promise!" I say quickly. I'd agree to meet him anywhere to put this behind us.

"There's a dance, at your school this weekend." I cringe, poufy dresses full of girly things like tulle and sparkles made me irk. "Don't worry Ellie, I already know what you're thinking, it's not that type of dance," he laughs. "It's laid back, no formal wear, come as you are. Be sure to bring Heart too, okay."

"Perfect. I'll be there, we'll be there."

"Okay...see you then Ellie."

I hang up the phone not knowing if I should be confused, or happier than ever. I'll take happy. I hear my door creak when Heart steps in.

"That was Seth!" I smile. "He called me and asked me to a dance at school."

"You hate those things." Heart says robotically with the best intention to smile.

"Yes, I do but because he asked me I'll go, and it's not like typical dances. It's laid back and not so formal. You need to go to Heart, he said to bring you so that's good, right?"

"Sounds okay, of course I'll go if it will help you and Seth."

It was the night of the dance, and I dressed up in some skinny jeans, my most comfortable boots and a breathy sweater in case it got warm inside the gym at school. I wore a thin scarf I made to accessorize since I had no jewelry. I thought I looked pretty damn good. Seth and I agreed to meet at the dance which I thought was weird but I went with it. I went downstairs to find Heart speaking with my parents. They all jumped like I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing sweetheart," My mom says. Hearts light laugh stole her attention from me.

"Sweetheart," Heart grins. "She's anything but sweet."

"Please don't hinder my moments with Seth with your typical and may I add weak sarcasm." I quip.

"Oh you two bicker so much, I swear." My mom sighs.

"It's sort of our thing." Heart shrugs.

"Come on Heart we'll be late." I say looking at the clock.

"Wait, wait." My mom walks up to Heart, holds his face in her hands and hugs him tightly. She whispers something in his ear and he returns her motherly affection. My dad soon walks up; shaking his hand then captures him in a bear hug.

"You two are seriously off your block. We'll be right back." I reassure.

"I know, I know." My mom says. "I just want him to know he matters to this family. That's what families are supposed to do." She then hurries us out the door, sending us off. "Have a memorable time."

Heart was extremely quiet on the way to the dance. He didn't even mess with my radio. "Everything okay, you seem somewhere else right now?" I ask.

"Everything is fine, I'm here. Just taking the drive in is all."

"Are you worried what everyone else will think?"

"What do you mean everyone?"

I had another secret plan up my sleeve. "I just figured I would try and see if I can get you noticed tonight."

"Wait you don't mean?"

"Of course I mean, why not? If I can get my parents to see you and Seth why can't I get the whole school? You can have a second chance Heart."

"They'll think you're nuts if you tell them who I am. They are not your parents or Seth."

"Well I'm not going to do that. If anyone asks, you're my best friend who's visiting or something. They don't have to know exactly who you are."

"Ellie what if it doesn't work?"

"Too late, we're here!" I park and get out of the car as quickly as possible. I can hear Heart running after me. I finally stop at the gym entrance. To my surprise Heart holds a crumpled wrapped up package with a red bow on it.

"This is for you, a gift I had your mom make." He says proudly handing it to me. I look around and noticed people walking into the gym were not gaping at us. They should have been, because a package being held in mid air by someone who others can't see should freak people out.

"They can see you," I whisper relieved like I had held in the best secret of all time. Heart's posture slumps, he's relieved to be seen and it shows in his smile. I reach for the package and tear it open. It's a white lazy t-shirt, the best kind, and screen printed in black lettering are the words, Just blink.

"I figured...you put me in this ridiculous thing," gesturing to his own t-shirt. "I could make you wear that." I hug him tightly.

"It's perfect." I hurry into the girl's bathroom to change into it. It actually looks better than the sweater I chose. When I walk into the packed gym Heart walks through the crowd, parting its dancers. I realize girl's jaws are dropping at the sight of him, including first name where I was conceived Aspen. I know my friend is good looking but when they see he's with me, it adds the extra perk to my natural high.

"Looks good," Heart says with his hands in his pockets. "Lets sit." He gestures to an empty spot on the bleachers. We didn't even dance the first part of the night. All we do is talk. We talk about our history together and how it was when no one could see him. The scenarios he'd get me into, and how they were funny to laugh at now. What surprised me most was Heart apologized for being around.

"Why are you apologizing for that?" I'm confused and a little hurt. It was our time together he's apologizing for. "You're the best Heart. I had someone to talk to because of you. I had a friend, I needed that."

"You couldn't talk to others because of me," he corrects. "I held you back and your chances to make some real friends. I hurt that, so I hurt you. I just want to tell you I'm sorry." He looks ashamed and I don't like it. He is the best thing to happen to me. "Now they can all see you speak to actual people, they'll forget and move on. You'll be okay now."

"Stop it, Heart. You think that's why I let them see you?" He looks away already convinced of his reasoning. "I want them to see you because you are my best friend, and I'm proud of you. I'm proud to be your friend."

"You were stuck with me Ellie." He points out making it seem more of a fact I had to put up with.

"Stuck with you? I could have ignored you Heart, I could have pretended you didn't exist...but I needed you. I need a friend with no judgments, just acceptance. That's what a friend is, acceptance no matter what. It's the best kind of friendship and love people can have for each other. Don't you get that?" I hold his hand in mine. "I accept your crude humor, I accept your ignorance of personal space, and I accept your strength and most of all, your love."

He doesn't answer. Instead he gives me a hug that feels like he's been holding it in the whole night. I hug him back but feel the desperation of it seeping through to me. I pull him away to get a good look at him. He looks awful and it scares me. The slow lyrics of Heart's favorite song "99 Luftballoons" cut through the tension leaving a saved by the bell kind of smile upon his face.

"Let's dance!" he drags me onto the floor and dances alone for a second until I finally fall under his unusual submission. He pumps his hands in the air and even surprises me by lifting me off the ground. I humor him some more and dance with him. We get other peoples attention and they smile at us, soon joining in the crazy style of dancing that can only go to this song. I'm completely lost in the dance with Heart; it starts to feel sad.

"I have to go Ellie," Heart proclaims and I stop dead in my tracks. "I always knew I'd have to go someday and it has to be now."

"No, what?" Why was he so certain it would happen now? Things were perfect; I became desperate to spend more time with him.

"The big secret?" He opens his arms with a bright smile on the verge of breaking. "I was always able to go, I never had to stay. But I only stayed because I couldn't stand to leave you. You were the last person I remembered seeing alive." That wasn't possible. "That night I opened my eyes and saw you in the wheelchair, you looked so fragile and weak but beautiful. A beautiful girl lost," he smiles. "When I died, I was next to you after the transplant. I thought I was dreaming or maybe in heaven. But when I touched this," he touches his chest. "And it was empty...and in you instead, I knew it was yours and never mine again. You'll always have my heart Ellie, and I'm so thankful for that. You'll do so much more with it."

Everything made sense, my parents hugging him and talking with him downstairs so intently. "Everybody knows, don't they? Everyone but me."

"I called Seth, to tell him to ask you to this dance. I knew if I suggested it you'd never go. I just wanted to have one more great memory with you. Our last drive in your bug, I'll miss those epic conversations about nothing. I even got you to dance with me."

I try to smile but can't, I'm just sad, a basic emotion that says a lot.

"Seth was going to call, don't think less of him because of this. You know, I never had to ask him to be here for you. He was just going to be after I told him I was leaving tonight."

"You can't, everything's so perfect."

He shakes his head unable to speak for a second. "This isn't how it's supposed to end Ellie, I was never meant to stay here. I always had to go eventually, you know that."

I knew he was right, even though I didn't want to admit it to myself I knew this was the inevitable ending to our story. But it was a great story, a great bleep of time on my lifeline and a magnificent extension to his.

"This isn't..." he chokes through his words still trying to seem happy, but watered eyes speak his truth. "It isn't fair that just when I realize how much you mean to me," He shakes his head, ready to fight tooth and nail against our realization of never seeing each other again. "I don't get to keep you." He manages through a whither of a whisper and watery eyes. "I've never had a friend that I—"

"I know I've never had a friend that I connected with as much as you." I try to finish for him.

"That I love." He corrects me to my surprise. He tries his best to smile through his sadness. "I know the timing sucks, and I shouldn't tell you that I love you after I already know how you feel about Seth—and in a weird way...I'm still happy for you. But I have to be honest with you."

"Wait, you...love me?" I ask but he doesn't answer because he doesn't need to. I think I knew he loved me a long time before he did. I didn't want to face it or bring it up already knowing something that big, way bigger than us was way too complicated and far beyond our reach.

"Of course you love me," I say. "But that's why I need you, I need you to stay with me," I cry. "Because I don't think I can do this by myself. I don't think I can love anyone like I can with you."

"Ellie," he sighs. "I believe anything is possible for you because I believe in you. I always have." He gestures across to the gym entrance wiping the tears from his face, Seth is standing there looking for me in the crowd. "He's going to be so much stronger for you when I'm gone. That's what you're good at Ellie. You make people stronger because you already are, and that's the best kind of love for you to get in return. You deserve this chance."

" I know he loves me," I smile " I just don't think I was what he expected. I'm a lot to take in."

My bright and shining Heart walks up to me and hugs me tightly. I feel the hairs stand up on my neck and revel in the purity of a heartfelt hug and how good it feels from someone who isn't really supposed to be here. "Ellie, never expect anything, you'll only be disappointed. If you expect nothing you'll have a life of surprises, and isn't that way more exciting?"

"You were my biggest surprise," I laugh and cry at once.

"And you were mine." He whispers in my ear.

We stand still, swaying in our hug while others dance fast around us, I don't want it to end and take every memory of him in, hoping I don't forget a second of him once he's gone. He's taught me to love my weirdness and to respect it because it makes me unique compared to everyone else. I get scared because I notice people are staring and for a moment I feel Heart flicker away. I grab onto him quickly, ignoring the confused glares of what the crowds are witnessing. They can see Heart is vanishing.

"I wish I could have loved you the way I wanted." I say desperately in his shoulder.

"Maybe that's the point of all this, appreciate the simplicity of it." I feel him twist the ends of my hair with his fingers behind my back; each one relaxes me more in his arms.

"And what's that?"

"That you can still love the way you wanted to with me. You always could, maybe you needed to love yourself first to know that. We were doomed before act one of this play hit the page, with me cast as the soul of your heart, but I can leave knowing someone out their in what I thought was a sucky world loved me. While you get to stay living in this world you can remember me and know you can be loved because you matter."

"Wrap it up," I joke, trying to hold on to what composure I still have. "I'll take it." I step back trying my best to smile back, even though we are tearing up like children. The saddest part of the song is playing and the hurt is dulling.

"I feel like I'm dying all over again," he says. He looks at me with pinched brows. "But it feels different."

"Peaceful?" I ask.

He nods reveling in it until I'm startled to the sound of a warning heartbeat. The comforting heartbeat warms me as I close my eyes. It begins to slow from the usual commanding beat, like a countdown.

"Heart?" I whisper.

"What? What's happening?" he asks.

"I think it's happening, I think you're going to go away now," I cry grabbing his hand tightly. "I don't want to do this, I can't, and too soon, it's too soon." I argue.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he whispers.

"What do I do?" I panic. "What do I do now?"

The heartbeat slows more than ever; I know it will soon fade completely. I look my heart straight in the eyes as each beat manages to barely pass, each one seems like more of a struggle and carries passing days of our time together.

_The day I first saw him when I woke up from surgery at my bedside_.

"Ellie?"

I nod never looking away from him.

_The day we realized I could feel his hand touch mine._

"I can do anything because you are here." He says touching his own heart.

The day everyone at school realized I was different and he hugged me until the next morning.

I smile. "And I can do anything because you're in mine." I touch my own heart.

The day when we found his grave and I sat with him while he cried as the sun set.

"Just blink Ellie." He says quietly as the heartbeat begins to stifle. "Just blink and everything will be fine, different but you'll always be okay."

He steps towards me and takes my face in his hands. I blink but before I can open my eyes I feel him kiss me. I feel my tears warm my cheeks as I kiss him back and know what will happen once I open my eyes. I don't hear the heartbeat and plead to hear its sound as I shake my head not wanting to believe this is really happening. I press my hands to my head hoping to hear some lingering patter in the distance. I cry not wanting to see a world without him in it. I hear gasps from around me, knowing they have just witnessed the disappearance of my friend, my heart. I breathe in and out slowly and when I open my eyes I look to the floor and slowly look up to see I am alone.

I crumble to the ground and sit as Heart's favorite song ends, looking around the gym seeing all the faces of the people who made fun of me witness I was never their definition of crazy.

One thing Heart taught me is that everyone in this world is a little crazy and it's often confused with originality. I don't know whether to be sad or happy in the memories he left. Tears begin to pour and panic captures me, I feel lost. That's when I hear Seth's voice near me. I don't know what to do but cry. He walks into a crawl with me on the floor and hugs me.

"I know it hurts, to lose a friend like him, but I'll help you, if you let me." He hugs me tighter. "I'm so sorry Ellie."

"You knew, didn't you?" I manage. I feel him nod on my shoulder. "You knew this would happen."

"He called me Ellie. He told me everything, he told me you wanted to tell me in the beginning but he changed your mind. He cared for you so much, Ellie. I'm so sorry you lost him, I'm glad you had him though."

"Why are you glad?"

"Because...he brought me to you, even though he had feelings for you. He just wanted to know you'd be okay after he left."

I look at Seth and see sincere love and thoughtfulness. I see his heart. Any other guy would have fled after sorting through my baggage, but Seth stayed. He believed in me.

Heart knew this and made sure Seth would be here. He knew what I would need.

"Ellie...are you going to be okay?"

The song ends and a slow love song plays. I listen to the song and pay special attention to whenever the word heart is mentioned, knowing he really will be with me forever. Heart isn't just some muscle that's plopped in our chests. It's the center of our being; it's an essence of our soul that can love, with friendship, encouragement and strength. Something beautifully original as heart, should always be noticed and never hindered. 
Acknowledgements

This book has been a long process and a gratifying experience. It takes a lot of hard work to pry the stories inside my head out into the world. But I didn't do it alone. There are many people to thank and some of these great people may not even know how much they have helped me in order to get my work out.

I'd like to thank my writing guru Kristen. It's always fun and a great gift to be able to bounce ideas off someone else that gets the crazy mind of a writer. Ideas erupt on a regular basis and it was extremely helpful to be able to get input, advice and encouragement from you. I'm thankful to have a writer as friend who can give the most important thing to another writer, honesty.

I'd also like to thank all of my friends at Barnes and Noble who took an interest in my writing and let me share it with them. When someone takes a sincere interest and even takes the time to encourage a writer it makes a big difference. You gave me validation as a writer and made me feel that my dream might not be that crazy.

I'd like to give a special thanks to Nikki my best friend in the world for reading my work and telling me I was not wasting my time. I appreciate you and love you dearly. You have read every word I have ever written, both good and very bad. You tell me what I need to hear and most important you acknowledge my writing as something serious and not a hobby.

My family is a funny bunch and I'm lucky to have them and am thankful for them everyday. My parents may not realize it but they have instilled a great amount of creativity in me that I have put to great use. I love you mom and dad and I hope I have made you proud. Michelle and Albert, thank you for being there when I needed an opinion on my writing. Your opinion is probably the most important because you both have vast amounts of creativity and it's probably why we had so much fun as kids.

To my husband Daniel for telling me that I should go for it. You've endured many frantic rants about my writing process and have listened without any sign of complaint or irritation. You are truly interested in what I want to achieve with my writing and have never told me stop. I love you forever and a day and I call myself a writer because of your encouragement. To my kids Danny, Samuel, and Emily, you have been there every second of when these words hit the page. Your requests for snacks, games to play, or a movie you wanted to watch while I wrote seemed never ending. But the moment I heard you call mommy a writer showed me that my kids actually saw me. I love each of you and your beautiful minds.

Finally I thank you, the reader. Everyone's time is precious and I hope you enjoyed my writing. My ultimate goal as a writer is not to be famous but to share my work with others. You as a reader have great power to help writers just by sharing how much you like a book. It helps get the right book into the right hands of someone who will enjoy it, so thank you. 
About the author

Celine Garcia resides in Central Valley California with her husband and three adorable children. When she isn't writing she is usually found crafting, reading or updating her blog. Music is a great influence in Celine's writing. She comes up with most of her stories during her drive to work on the freeway while listening to her latest playlist. You can find more of her writing on I Blog, You Read plus reviews of her favorite young adult and new adult books.

