SO PLEASE JOIN US THEN.
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS HERE 
UNDER PROTEST AND I WILL NEVER 
HEAR THE END OF ASKING HIM TO 
COME BUT I DID BECAUSE HE IS THE
GREATEST RADIO HOST IN HISTORY 
WHOM YOU CAN HEAR ON SIRIUS XM 
EVERY DAY.
PLEASE WELCOME THE INCREDIBLE 
HOWARD STERN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 
>> THANK YOU, YOU LOOK GREAT.
FRANKLY, I CAN'T WAIT FOR CARDI 
B TO GET OUT HERE, IS MY SEGMENT
OVER YET?
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU EXCITED FOR 
CARDI B?
>> THAT'S WHY I CAME TONIGHT, I 
DON'T CARE ABOUT JIMMY, I LIKE 
CARDI B.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LOOK AT THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE 
PAUL SHAFFER IS HERE.
MY GOD.
>> HELLO, HOWARD.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I'M BACK.
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS GUY?
I THOUGHT AFTER LETTERMAN, 
SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOME KIND 
OF GIG, SOME KIND OF JOB WOULD 
HAVE POPPED UP.
NOW HE'S STUCK HERE IN BROOKLYN.
>> I'M DOING A MINI RESIDENCY. 
>> AND THIS POOR GUY.
THIS POOR BASTARD, CLETO, YOUR 
BAND LEADER?
IT'S LIKE PAUL TOOK OVER, YOU 
DON'T EVEN SEE CLETO. 
>> WITH HIS POLICING. 
>> WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO POOR
CLETO?
[ BLEEP ]. 
>> CLETO LOVES PAUL. 
>> THEY GO BACK. 
>> THEY'RE GOING TO GO BACK TO 
L.A., PUSH CLETO ASIDE AND GET 
QUESTLOVE, I'M TELLING YOU.
I WATCHED YOU LAST NIGHT. 
>> Jimmy: YOU DID. 
>> IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU IN 
BROOKLYN.
YOUR SUPPOSED HOME.
I AM FRIENDLY WITH JIMMY, I 
DON'T HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS, BUT
THAT'S HOW JIMMY GOT ME OUT 
HERE.
HE SAYS, LOOK, MY PRODUCER IS 
GOING TO CALL YOU. 
>> Jimmy: YES. 
>> THERE'S NO PRESSURE IN ANY OF
THIS. 
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. 
>> I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT 
NOW YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO THE 
SHOW.
I'M JUST TELLING YOU, IF YOU 
WANT TO DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT.
HOT HELL CAN SAY NO TO THAT?
BUT I'M DONE.
I WANT TO ANNOUNCE -- 
>> Jimmy: YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO
TO THAT. 
>> I COULDN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE 
SUCH A GREAT GUY.
HE'S SUCH A LOVELY GUY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I COULDN'T SAY NO.
BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU.
I HATE DOING TALK SHOWS.
>> I KNOW YOU DO, YEAH, YEAH. 
>> IT'S SO UNNATURAL.
EVERYONE EVALUATES YOU.
HOW DID HE DO?
WAS HE FUNNY?
DID HE PULL HIS PANTS DOWN?
WAS HE FARTING?
HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
IT MAKES MY NEUROSES CRAZY. 
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, YES. 
>> LISTEN -- 
>> Jimmy: NOW THAT YOU'RE OUT 
HERE, DO YOU FEEL HAPPY TO BE 
HERE?
>> NO I AM MISERABLE.
I WANT CARDI B TO COME OUT.
I WATCHED -- YOUR PRODUCER SAID 
TO ME, PLEASE WATCH JIMMY WITH 
DAVID LETTERMAN. 
>> Jimmy: OKAY. 
>> OF COURSE I WATCHED LAST 
NIGHT AS ALL OF YOU DID.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THERE YOU SAID, NOTHING 
COULD BE BETTER THAN HAVING 
DAVID LETTERMAN ON. 
>> Jimmy: AND STEVIE WONDER. 
>> AND STEVIE WONDER.
SO I SAID, WHY AM I COMING OUT?
BUT LISTEN -- 
>> Jimmy: DO YOU FEEL ANY SENSE 
OF JEALOUSY WHEN I TALK ABOUT 
DAVID LETTERMAN?
>> YEAH, WELL, I DO.
I FEEL THAT I HAVE BEEN A 
GREATER INFLUENCE IN YOUR LIFE.
BUT SOMEHOW -- I DON'T KNOW 
WHETHER IT'S EMBARRASSMENT OR 
YOU GET MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK 
WHEN YOU SAY LETTERMAN WAS YOUR 
HERO.
BUT YOU GOT INTO RADIO, THAT'S 
HOW YOU GOT STARTED.
>> I GOT STARTED IN RADIO. 
>> AND I WAS YOUR HERO. 
>> Jimmy: YOU STILL ARE MY HERO,
HOWARD, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT 
IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU.
BUT -- BUT.
THE THING OF IT IS, I'M WATCHING
THE SHOW LAST NIGHT, YOU'RE 
FAWNING OVER DAVE. 
>> Jimmy: I LOVE DAVE. 
>> DAVE, WHEN YOU RETIRED, YOU 
GAVE ME YOUR NECK TIES, YOU SENT
ME ALL OF YOUR NECK TIES THAT 
YOU WORE ON THE SHOW. 
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. 
>> SO I BROUGHT YOU A GIFT. 
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU DID. 
>> I BROUGHT YOU A GIFT.
THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT OUT THIS 
BAG.
>> Jimmy: BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED. 
>> THIS IS ALL OF MY DIRTY 
LAUNDRY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS MY UNDERWEAR, MY SOCKS, 
MY T-SHIRTS, AND EVEN MY THONG.
>> Jimmy: WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL 
GIFT THAT IS. 
>> AND YOU CAN -- 
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
CAN YOU GET THAT?
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, THAT'S -- 
WHAT'S IT SAY?
>> Jimmy: I HEART HOWARD. 
>> I LOVE HOWARD.
>> Jimmy: I WILL DEFINITELY WEAR
THESE TONIGHT. 
>> YOU CAN PICK THROUGH THIS, 
PICK YOUR FAVORITES, YOU CAN 
WEAR THEM.
WHATEVER YOU DON'T USE, YOU SEND
BACK. 
>> Jimmy: I WILL, OKAY, THANK 
YOU SO MUCH. 
>> NO NECK TIES.
>> Jimmy: REALLY A WONDERFUL, 
WONDERFUL GIFT YOU HAVE.
