hello and welcome to feminine success
secrets the place women come to become
powerful feminine I'm Candice Oneida so
why am I talking to you from my bed
today well it's because I've pretty much
been in my bed for the last seven days
I fell off the self-care wagon
ironically and I was about to do a
series on self-care
so I could have
called this video confessions of a workaholic; 
confessions of the do-a-holic confessions
of a man-mode-a-holic or confessions of a
serve-a-holic in this video today what I
really want to do is the prophetess of
the future okay if you're younger than
me then know that it doesn't have to be
that way you don't have to live like
like this you don't have to do like this
there is a different way that actually
creates more space literally it's which
we like you create more space in your
life and you think possible the last
months for me was unusually where I had
three out of four weekends doing
something work like now what I mean by
that so the first weekend I was I was
assisting a very dear friend workshop
second weekend I started filming for my
new program the powerfully feminine
intensive and then the third weekend I
was assisting at the meditation workshop
so that's three weekends out of four
that I didn't have off and then I had a
normal working week and client schedule
and everything else happening in the
week I usually wouldn't plan things like
that but the cards feel like that and on
the other end of that so right after the
meditation workshop I collapsed and as I
often say the teacher doesn't do what
they preach you know do what you preach
to do is teach and so I knew that that
wasn't going to be a good idea but I
thought I could handle it and if for
those of you that don't know my story I
had a corporate career lasting 1213
years in Australia as a corporate
commercial designer and then I've been
an entrepreneur since then to last 20
odd years
and I did it all from man mode so in my
early 40s I royally burnt out and my
body shut down and sent me into early
menopause and clearly frankly I'm still
in recovery from that now whether I'm
still recovering from that or you know
I'm not 25 anymore my body will tell me
very fast Vance is not okay anymore
sister you cannot do this anymore you
cannot work like this you cannot you
cannot not allow out-breath you cannot
create a life where there's no space and
digestion
and yeah that's what I did for the last
month ago while you're in bed with me
right now so I want I just sat there
going okay self-care is one of the big
things I've had to learn if I'm really
honest with you I really had to learn
about self-care and I fell off the wagon
one thing I realized in my reflection in
this exhaustion I've been in is my body
doesn't know the difference between when
I am in service and when I'm doing my
normal work so although it's lovely and
I really have a want to serve and
deserve more my body doesn't know the
difference it's just doing its just
activity it's just going going going you
know as I say in breath in breath in
breath in breath with no out breath and
my body does another difference and then
like I have told you for ages on this
channel the thing is when we don't allow
out braces women when we don't give
ourselves space to digest whether we
don't give us a space for creativity
we don't give us a space to share our
fills our energy and with others space
to nourish then our body just is not
designed for that now is that hard for
you to hear this is the first time
you've ever heard me before it's just a
fact you know until in terms of our our
hormonal makeup alone is different than
men's
and so one of the things in my research
from my own crashing fly forty years was
a hormone system is different you know
we don't have the amount of testosterone
men do we're not built to compete
fightin win in the way that most the
business world is set up on right and so
it equal fast is not good for us bodies
end up under massive cortisol stress the
cortisol will do things like it has done
for me this month and it will shut you
down
now if you're in your 20s or 30s like
when I was in my 20s 30s I just ignored
the signals and I just plowed through
now there's two ways of looking that if
you look at it from the subs Chinese in
the Taoist system the truth was although
I could in my 20s and 30s
unfortunately actually what was
happening was I was burning Jim I was
burning core essential energies that hat
can get burned out that certain types of
the Jim don't recover so I was haplessly
burning my Jing out in my 20s and 30s
working super high long long hours
constant constant doing constant
constant going and my body just went not
okay by my 40s and um since then she
gives me all the strong signals when I
am going off track and I have just been
in my I'm still I'm still recovering
from that if I have to be honest I'm
able to handle my clients schedule and
that's about it right now not was it you
see the funny thing is I'm losing time
because of that and I've had to just
throw down the towel and agree with it
because it really hit me very very hard
so it's this sort of misconception this
misnomer that well I don't have time to
take out to take space I don't have time
to out breathe I don't have time to be
creative I don't have time to spin with
friends well your body is going to
create time eventually I wouldn't be
much much nicer if it was done
when and how you'd like to it makes
sense so when you get to choose how to
have that out breast time rather than
like me lying down here reading
exhausted sleeping or finding myself
watching Netflix I don't like being sick
I don't like being unwell I fight it and
that's another thing I used to do I
would fight those signals they'd come up
in my body and I'd go no that's not me
not gonna happen
I thought that was the thing to do was
to cope and to fight through you know
that was kind of the world I was brought
up in with that kind of mentality the
world around us tries to tell us we have
limits of time we have limits of energy
we have limits of creativity we have
limits of intelligence all of these
things and in fact the truth is in terms
of feminine power it's a way of learning
how to literally expand those boundaries
and of course you know I find myself
talking to myself right now reminding
myself and that as we expand these
boundaries Oh something feels very
different when you allow yourself give
yourself permission to do that allow
yourself time and space for your
creativity allow yourself time and space
with your lover don't shorten the sexual
interactions make them long and deep and
languorous and juicy allow personal time
with people you love listen to them be
still share with them stop having that
clock going off in your head saying but
I've gotta get a who cares right so you
know the done studies and and
interviewed people that only dip into
what's the what do you regret
what do you regret in your life and
they've usually said I don't regret
anything except that I would like to
expend more time with the people that I
loved I found that really profound that
they realize that the things that were
the most valuable to them are actually
the sharing of their life with people I
love you do today is put some comments
below on well one where you fall off the
wagon in terms of self-care and to your
favorite reminder recovery self-care
thing to do if you could share it in the
comments box below that would be awesome
if you liked the video today give me a
thumbs up and remember when you have the
courage to go out there and shine you
give others permission to do the same so
let's go up there and shine this week
