So I make the argument that you can't learn
body language or you can't learn how to be
an effective communicator from a book.
And let me give you an example, so like, lets
say um, there is a lot of good studies out
there that'll say you know a head tilt is
a good way of conveying an emotional connection.
So when you're interested, so somebody tells
you something about "oh wow that's really
interesting, " that head tilt kind of demonstrates
that.
It's one of the things Bill Clinton tends
to do a lot.
It's one of the things um you'll see deaf
people when they are communicating, when you
say something, they're very, they pay a lot
of attention.
One of the coolest things, you ever meet someone
in life that like every time you talk to them
you feel like you're the only person in the
room.
They do three things.
The first thing they do is tilt their head,
the second thing they do is squint and the
third thing they do nod their head successfully.
So it looks like "oh wow really?
No that makes sense".
So you can read in a book, alright?
You read in a book that you know, a nine degree
head tilt to the right or a fifteen degree
head tilt to the right is one of the most
effective ways of you know, showing interest.
Alright, let's say you read that.
I said that to a group of fifteen doctors,
neurologists, this and that in my office during
a during a little like uh party essentially.
And you know what they did?
They went like this, some of them went like
this.
You don't know what you look like.
That's the problem, it might be incongruent
with what society looks like.
So you might, you might "so if I tilt my head
that's a good way to communicate."
So when you tilt your head, you go like this
and then it looks like perplexion.
It doesn't look like, it looks like "what?"
So that's why it's so hard to read something
and apply it, it's not how it works.
It needs to be seen, it needs to be a back
and forth exchange of information.
So you can't learn body language from a book.
