Hey, everyone. Rev here. Uh, we're doing Sakura speedruns again.
I've been watching Summer Games Done Quick, and I got inspired to get back into it, so...
Uh, before I start, I do want to give quick shout-out to the Sakura speedrunning community.
We have a Discord. If you want in on it, you can go fuck yourself...
...'cause I already hate all of these bastards, and I don't want any more people in this community.
Uh, it's currently just me. But if you ever do try and get into this Discord...
...I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. Let's look at the configurations.
Uh, you'll notice that I've changed things...
Uhh... just sort of at random to... basically speed things up.
There's no real movement tech to this. Uh, I think I've basically optimized this run.
Uh, it's down to a 2:27. We're gonna be trying to beat that today.
Uh, hopefully, we can get just under... 2:27.
I-I... I-It's gonna be by a manner of milliseconds if I do. So...
Uhh, time starts as soon as I hit Start. We're going for an Upper Route today.
Aaaaand...
...Good. I got it. Okay, so: the-there are few choices in this game. Actually, more than in games like Sakura Spirit.
Uh, let me introduce the characters. There's the, uh, th-
...White-haired chick who I call 'Dumb Bitch' and then the brown-haired chick who I call 'Furry Bitch'.
Umm... I don't know anything about the plot of this game. Obviously, I've only seen it... speedrunned...
...because I have better things to do with my time. Though saying that, I do speedrun, uh...
...essentially porn games. So I really can't act all high and mighty.
Most of this game is conversations between you and the girls at the pool or, uh, conversations with your dad...
...I've noticed. Umm... And...
I-I'm obviously gonna be censoring some stuff and the time clock is gonna be on screen.
This is why she's called Dumb Bitch 'cause she somehow ends up getting tangled in- in cords.
I don't know how you manage to do that. Uh...
So serious time is gonna be comin' up here in a second 'cause there's, uh, actually kinda difficult part.
Uhh, and I just need a second.
[Rev sighs]
Okay. Ummm, so what that was- was, uh...
...Me trying to regain the will to, uh, keep going.
I-It's pretty hard with this game. It makes me feel bad about myself. And I hate it, so, umm...
It's one of the more difficult parts of the run. To really just keep your composure and keep going.
And keep up with the tech. Uh, mostly, it's just holding down space and clicking as fast as possible.
It- I'm choosing to do a Top Route. I don't remember if I said that already.
Uh, so Top Route and Bottom Route are essentially the same.
It's basically just if you're a top or a bottom kinda person.
I happen to be a top. So I choose to do the top route.
That's why she's called Furry Bitch. And um...
We're almost at the end of the game. So we're gonna have a few more scenes, then it'll be Christmas...
Everyone will get tied up and look like total jackasses. And then it'll be done!
And uh, I-I think we're on World Record pace. I obviously own the World Record for this game because no one else has...
Um...
...Thought to do it? I would assume is the only reason that I do. It's- it's a...
I mean, I actually haven't checked.
Like every other time that I've done one of these, I haven't checked to see if anyone else is actually doing it.
As soon as the Christmas tree appears, we'll be getting down to the last couple of seconds.
There's a couple more conversations with Dad, I believ- no, there it is.
Aaaand, uh, time is coming up. Three, two, one and...
There it is. Okay. So Imma have to check, uh, in post... but that is time. Uh, I don't know how I did.
I- It felt good... to finish it. I'm just gonna assume... that I beat it.
Otherwise, you won't be seeing this recording, and I'll- I'll just be doing it again.
Umm... and then...
...hating myself more. Umm...
Not really much else say about this. Ummm...
It's an awful community. If you wanna join it, you're just a masochist and, um...
I-I guess that's where Imma leave it for you guys today. Umm...
Uh, I guess lemme know if there's any other games in this series that you wanna see me speedrun.
Uh, and I will probably say "no", and then it'll be awkward between us, but it's okay.
We can still be, like, friends sort of?
Uhh, but not really. As long as you're... I-I-It will be fine. Anyway, um...
Hope you guys enjoyed. Umm... this one of the shorter games in the series.
Uh, so if you wanna get it on Steam, uh, you've made mistakes in your life.
Uh, I-I-I think it's still in, like, the 10 or 20 dollar range. I honestly don't remember or care.
I don't remember if I bought it or someone else bought it for me. Uh, whoever- whoever...
...was involved in getting this game for me should feel ashamed.
Uh, a-as you would expect. Anyway. Uh, I-I'm rambling now, so I'm gonna go and go.
Thank you for watching. I will see you next time. Goodbye.
