Alright, I’m gonna be brief because I wanna make sure Jim Webb has a chance to talk.
That poor guy. His whole debate strategy was, “Excuse me, we haven’t gotten our salads yet?”
I wanna tell you the moment when, for me, Bernie Sanders won last night’s debate.
The question was asked: What is the greatest national security threat to the United States?
The other candidates gave answers like the crisis in the Middle East, nuclear Iran, ISIS, cyber warfare, offensive tweets - all legitimate threats to be sure.
But Senator Sanders was the only person on that stage who gave the correct answer: climate change.
Of all of our biggest challenges, from social inequality to health care, this is the one that must go immediately to the front of the line.
Because it is the only one with a non-negotiable timetable.
He’s the only candidate, on either side, who truly seems to grasp the magnitude of the catastrophe. You can hear it in his voice when he speaks on the subject.
You all seem perfectly nice. In five years, I don’t wanna have to battle y’all for water with a sword made out of a rusted selfie-stick - I just don’t wanna have to do that.
Because I will win.
So, while it would be way funnier if Trump won, it would be far better for the health of the country if Bernie Sanders is the next President of the United States.
Since I was old enough to vote, I have always looked to the candidate who takes science seriously.
Most of the time, I have to settle for the candidate who pays fleeting lip-service to science. But not tonight.
This man is special and here’s one reason why: For years, I have privately thought to myself, “Alright, I’m a capitalist. I like eating at SugarFish.
I like drinking Fiji Water. I like going on Amazon.com on my phone and then sitting up two hours later and $6000 later,
with a stack of Blu-Rays, a box of Cadbury Creme Eggs and a trombone waiting for me at my front door.”
But doesn’t it seem that things have swung so far in one direction?
With the top 1% of the country controlling more wealth than the other 99% combined,
that just a little bit of Democratic Socialism maybe is not the worst idea in the world?
Take health care. Look, I still wanna go to my fancy Beverly Hills doctor. I’m not gonna lie.
But, what about the guy who can’t afford it? Can’t we both have options? That’s why it’s called a “Public Option.”
We are all in this together. I said it when I was broke in 1995, and I will say it now. Everything can’t just always be about money.
It’s like cooking. I know, because cooking is personally something I have seen done a few times in my life.
If the soup gets too watery, you add salt. If it’s too salty, you add water. It’s time add a little bit of water.
The right has done a marvelous job of convincing many Americans that socialism is a bad word.
Look, America will never be a socialist country. Nor would I want it to be.
But, perhaps the greatest President of the 20th Century, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, implemented vast social reforms before and during the New Deal,
which is why your 5 year-old no longer has to work in a mill for 20 hours a day making colorful sweaters for Bill Cosby.
See, managed to do a Cosby joke that’s not about the thing.
So, it seems like some judiciously and intelligently applied Democratic Socialism is a good thing.
But, y’know, what did FDR know? All he did was lead America to victory against the Nazis. There’s that little thing.
Senator Sanders understands that today that enemy is climate change.
Let’s be real about this. While FDR was able to transform the entire auto industry into a manufacturing line for war production - almost overnight,
today it will be much more difficult, but no less necessary, for the fossil fuel companies to agree to 100% divestment from oil and gas,
and the transition to wind, solar, and other renewables.
It has to be just as fast.
If we are to believe that that fringe crackpot idea of climate change that is supported by like every scientist in the world - it’s pretty close to that -
it’s gonna take a combination of arm-twisting and diplomacy.
One that exists in the Goldilocks zone of smart politics.
Senator Sanders, and his bold political point of view, to me are key to accomplishing that goal.
You cannot bribe this guy. Believe me.
I offered him $10,000 to come out here tonight shirtless wearing a raw turkey on his head like Mr. Bean - he would not do it.
Audience Member: “I’ll do it.”
(To the audience member): We don’t wanna see you with your shirt off.
For me, this man has removed my trepidation over saying aloud that capitalism,
and Democratic Socialism - that not so scary word - can and should co-exist.
The public and private sector, it’s really not that new of an idea.
I guess you could say he’s made me feel okay about coming out. It was only a matter of time, right?
And there’s a word for a man who can do that. The word is: Leader.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next President of the United States, Bernie Sanders!
