Nice night, isn't it?
(grunt)
Remember last week's impromptu IQ test?
Vaguely.
Your answer was remarkable.
You not only thought outside the box, you annihilated it!
I'd like you to join the Epsilon Vega Lambda fraternity.
Are you kidding me?
THE most prestigious honors fraternity on campus?
Me?
Have you seen my grades?
Grades aren't everything.
After, all Einstein didn't perform well in grade school
and we know how he turned out.
So will you join us?
I don't see how I could possibly say no.
Wonderful!
Come by the chapter house at 9:00 tonight.
The password on the keypad is 1032.
That's the boiling point of potassium in Kelvin.
Of course it is.
He used the words "Roger" and "Einstein" in the same sentence.
Was there an "is not" between them?
Truth is, I got lucky.
He gave an IQ test last week.
Time was running out and I was stumped, so I just scribbled all over the paper and turned it.
He thinks I'm a genius!
Being a member of Epsilon Vega Lambda is like having a key to the city.
So many opportunities await you in the future.
You won't have to end up being a Physics professor
whose high point in life is eating a donut every morning.
Don't be so hard on yourself Professor.
It's always a good donut.
He's right, though.
I am insanely jealous, Roger.
Epsilon Vega Lambda is SO secretive...
you have to tell me what goes on behind closed doors.
I might, but then I'd have to kill you.
(Roger laughs)
Speaking of which, have you been keeping up with the local news?
Several homeless people have disappeared off the streets of the last two months.
Good for them.
I mean disappeared as in
disappeared without a trace.
Sorry, Professor
I've got to go to tonight's Epsilon Vega Lambda meeting.
Don't want to miss my first one.
(sigh)
Fine.
Liz, Carl
do a quick sweep of the city and report your findings when you're done.
I'll be in the lab all night
solving Sudoku puzzles.
(Matt)
Welcome to tonight's meeting, everyone.
I don't have too many announcements for today.
Our caviar fundraiser has been highly successful
we have over two-thirds the funds we need to get everyone into this year's Big Brain Knowledge Bowl.
Also I'd like to welcome Roger Collins to the group.
Roger, would you like to say a few words?
No.
Now the moment you all've been waiting for.
Today's sausages are ready.
Feel free to dig in!
Sausage?
Hey, mister fraternity president guy.
You can call me Matt, Roger.
Hey, um...
What's with the sausage?
We have it after every meeting.
You HAVE to try it.
Here, take a bite.
Oh my GOD.
Liz, you're so obsessed with that stupid fraternity.
We should have reported back to the Professor almost an hour ago.
What is it?
Can I see?
(Liz)
Just some van.
(Liz)
Aha!
The code for the front door is 1032.
That's the boiling point of potassium in Kelvin.
Uh-huh.
So let's go!
What exactly are you hoping to find?
(Matt)
What do you have for us tonight?
You're gonna like this one.
Picked him up at the corner of 7th Street.
He's about 216 pounds.
Mmm, quite the catch.
(Matt)
Send him to processing at once.
(Matt)
We'll have a feast with this one.
What have we here?
Oh crap!
(Carl and Liz grunt)
Ahh, good. I see you're finally awake.
What's with the chains?
Got some kind of fetish?
Such a pity the two of you had to see what you saw.
Why is your fraternity kidnapping homeless people?
As I'm sure you're aware, humans only use 10% of their brains.
I thought recent studies show that we actually use 100%
just at different times.
Silence!
I've devised a way of unlocking the 90% that is unused.
Matt, if you would please.
Eww!
By consuming other people
their brain power is added to our own.
But that's cannibalism!
True, but think of it this way
the people we're eating have no direction in life.
Their unused brain power will be put to a better use this way.
The people in this fraternity have bright futures ahead of them
doctors, scientists
professions that will BENEFIT humanity.
the deaths of a couple of homeless people here and there
are nothing compared to what they will accomplish.
You stumbled onto my little secret
but since you're both students of higher education
I'll give you a chance to join us.
Just take one bite
you won't regret it.
I'm a vegetarian.
Yeah.
We're not HUMANitarians, like you.
Then you will die.
Oh Roger.
Yeah, Dr. North?
Since you're our newest member
how would YOU like to be the one to kill them?
Don't do it, Roger
we're your friends.
Yeah, don't listen to that freak.
I don't know, these ARE my friends.
Just one stab each
then we'll make sausages out of them.
You do like sausages, don't you?
Yeah, I do
I just LOVE sausages.
Then kill them
for me
for all of us.
Yeah Roger, kill 'em.
No, Roger
let's talk about this.
Don't do it, Roger!
Sausages...
I just want sausages...
Don't take this personally, guys.
