What the fuck's going on?
Hi there Jimmy, it's Adam. Eh
called to say I'm coming for an interview today?
Fuck aye aye! Shit! Eh - come on in!
(BUZZER RINGS)
Hi there
All right, you got a fucking camera there. Hi there I'm Jimmy Mc-oh. Social distancing.
Aye. Got you mate, got you. Sorry.
In you come pal, in you come.
And close that fucking door behind you 'cause last time I opened that door
a fucking guy comes in with a greased up bowling ball in my fucking bathtub man
All right mate, I know it.
So, Jimmy. Thanks for having us.
Uh, long-awaited guest on our show.
Got a lot of questions for you. Em - to start off I'm... admiring your collection
your place is delightful. So - how are you dealing with the lockdown?
Oh.. Quarantine's fucking class man.
It's fucking class - you know what I mean? I get to fucking sit on my arse all day... watching telly...
I can fucking smoke whenever I want - whatever I want, you know what I'm saying pal?
And you know what? Fucking government wants me to!
Were you not put in temporary housing? Are they okay with you smoking inside?
Who the fuck do you think you are? Coming in my flat... saying these things?
EH?
Ma. Hoose.
Ma.
Hoose.
You... 'rin
Ma.
Hoose.
Okay, okay mate
*BLEEP*
I'm in the music me, you know? Fuckin' Stones... Oasis... you know what I mean?
You're only a musician until you fucking make it as a rock star, you know what I mean?
Before quarantine, you used to see me all over Glasgow. All over Glasgow.
Whereabouts have you played?
*mumbles* Bukan.. gallerz...
Whereabouts is that?
Buchanan Galleries
I know, eh- what part of it?
The steps
Oh.
The steps
*BLEEP*
So what I'm trying to say is: Fuck. The virus. Corona's no gonna set me back.
I'm finding it's greatest weakness - taking its knickers off and ex... let's roll that one back.
I've found 'rona's greatest weakness and exploited it: The Internet
So when I get my mixtape done, and youse are all tuning in... whole world's gonna be listening
to that Scotch Gold.
Fans'll be screaming.
"Ahhhhhh"
"Jimmy McCready"
"Ahhhhhhh"
"Taking keys. Taking keys"
"Ahhhhhhh"
"Jimmy, fuck me"
"Ahhhhh"
"piss on ma tits man!"
"Ahhhhhh"
And so on
You want to hear some of my songs? Yeah? You want to hear some of my songs aye?
Here we fucking go.
*BLEEP*
*BLEEP*
*BLEEP*
