I was raised in a very conservative family 
you know... 
I was one of those kids who would not study for the exam 
but in the margin I used to draw an OM 
But here’s the problem 
I went to a catholic school 
So the teacher used to cancel it 
But I thought she’s giving me a Jesus cross 
I thought she’s competing with me 
So to win the competition 
I turned that cross into a Swastika 
I was very stupid as a kid man 
Like if I went out to eat 
and there was a hair in my soup, 
I would never call the waiter 
I would pick up that hair 
And make a wish (blows) 
I would wish that my parents could afford better places 
The only time we would call the waiter 
would be if the hair was long enough  
then we would say  
“waiter scissors” 
then everyone got a wish 
Have you made a wish 
Have you made a wish 
And then blown on it 
And Then it doesn’t go 
So then you settle for lesser things in life 
Like theek hai 
theek hai 
don’t gimme world tour, fine 
Gimme a car (blows) 
No? ok. 
Gimme a bike (blows harder) 
Why don’t you just cut my legs…  
Oh shit! 
I’ll tell u more about myself 
4 years ago  
my grandfather passed away 
everyones crying 
I’m also crying 
but I’m crying cause they shaved my head off 
and didn’t even ask me before doing it 
they shaved my head off and only left this 
guys I was walking around catching wi-fi signals 
and this was during the FIFA world cup 
so all my friends had this Neymar hairstyle 
my friends asked me hey dude whats yours 
I was like …  
Aryabhatta 
I asked my dad why we need to do this 
He said its for the peace of grandpas soul 
I said if anything this is insulting to my grandfather 
Because Dadu was bald exactly here 
That’s like saying Dadu this is what you could never do! 
It was a weird time man 
I stopped going for smoke breaks 
I was like I look a candle, 
someone will light my head up 
People believe anything man 
That day my girlfriend tells me 
Raunaq take these scissors and put them in the drawer 
but you can’t take it from my hands 
I’ll put it on the floor you pick it up 
Have you heard this? 
People believe that if you take scissors from hands 
then fights happen 
I told her please don’t believe in this stupid shit and I snatched it…. 
Then a fight happened 
30 minutes into the fight 
I said take some tape from my hands we’ll become friends 
people believe anything man 
when I was a kid my grand-mom used to tell me that 
if you bang your head on someones head 
bang it again 
or else... 
You’ll grow a pair of horns 
my grand-mom thinks that everyone’s head has some kind of an on/off button 
and I was a kid I didn’t have google 
I used to watch the ONIDA ad 
I said oh yeah sure, it probably happens 
This poor guys grand-mom hasn’t taught him better 
that day my grand-mom’s telling me that to eat Prasad 
I said “not right now I just came from gym” 
She says “NO” 
“Never say no to prasad” 
That’s when I was like, 
“shit dude 
I wish my name was Prasad”  
what a great pick up line! 
Imagine being rejected by a girl and going 
Ey Never say no to prasad (mockingly) 
I said I don’t want to argue with her she has a certain set of beliefs, 
I said okay, gimme prasad 
She said No! 
you can’t take prasad from your left hand. It’s a sin! 
My grand-mom thinks God 
Who created the entire universe 
is standing somewhere going  
“those cosmos wosmos.. leave it!  
Syria wyria… just leave it! 
Listen to me… 
Bloody Raunaq 
He took prasad from his left hand 
Lets put a cross on his name 
I said dadi whats the logic? 
She said of course beta 
Left hand is for cleaning your bum 
I said dadi... 
if you knew what I use my right hand for 
Some of you are laughing 
Some of you are lefties 
