The world is full of famous people who've
become household names.
Some of these folks use talent, some use moxie,
and others rely on hard work to make their
way in the world and become famous.
These people… did not do any of that.
Child endangerment isn't generally something
to be celebrated.
Yet somehow a woman named Patricia Krentcil
managed to take her child endangerment charges
and become a paparazzi favorite out of the
whole situation.
That's not to say that Krentcil - who was
better known as "Tan Mom" - didn't get into
trouble for bringing her then 5-year-old daughter
into a tanning booth, resulting in burns.
Of course, she denied this - as one does.
"It's very wrong to presume something that
didn't happen.
Because it didn't happen."
She was arrested, and banned from more than
60 tanning salons in the New York and New
Jersey area.
But amazingly, she became a minor celebrity
for her tanning addiction and child endangerment,
even becoming a semi-regular on Howard Stern's
radio show.
The Huffington Post has a lengthy page about
Krentcil based on the number of times they've
tagged her in articles, because apparently
at one point the world needed to know whether
or not Tan Mom thought Mitt Romney's tan was
real or fake.
What a time to be alive, folks.
As a general rule of thumb, most folks agree
that intolerance is not okay - particularly
if you're holding an elected office.
That brings us to Kentucky's Kim Davis, whom
you may recall made headlines in 2015 for
refusing the U.S. federal court's directive
to issue same-sex marriage licenses in Kentucky
in her position as Rowan County Clerk.
Despite the U.S. Supreme Court telling her
that's what she had to do, Davis instead said
that she was working, quote, "under God's
authority."
Amazingly, Davis parlayed her newfound infamy
into becoming a household name.
Eventually, she was turned into something
of a political prop during the 2016 election
cycle.
Mike Huckabee virtually sprinted to her side
when she was released from jail - where she
spent several days for refusing a federal
court order - and conservatives rushed to
get Davis a meeting with the pope.
It became such a bizarre circus that the Vatican
had to come out with a statement distancing
itself from Davis.
When the actual pope has to take a few steps
back from you, maybe you've pushed this whole
"under God's authority" thing a little too
far.
Aspiring actor Kato Kaelin had never gotten
his career off the ground, and was living
in O.J.
Simpson's guest house at the time of the notorious
1994 murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron
Goldman.
Kaelin was thrust into the national spotlight
as a key witness in the case.
And that's when Kaelin's cash-in began.
"Now you own your own home, you have your
own business.
Tell us about your life."
"Yeah, it's good.
My goal, actually, one day in life is to have
someone live behind me."
Thanks to his newfound fame, Kaelin actually
started landing acting gigs, albeit in most
cases he was popping up as himself in sketch
shows like Mad TV and Mr. Show with Bob and
David.
He's also appeared on reality television,
because of course he has, and takes seemingly
every opportunity to guest on various entertainment
and talk shows to continue milking his notoriety
for as long as humanly possible.
Considering he's been going strong as a household
name for more than 20 years, you gotta tip
your hat to him for that - and literally nothing
else.
That's called monopolizing on a tragedy, folks
- and it is no bueno.
It's one thing to live vicariously through
your children.
It's quite another to stomp all over their
reputations as you try to inflate your own.
And that brings us to LaVar Ball, whose son
Lonzo had a scintillating freshman season
at UCLA and now plays for the New Orleans
Pelicans.
Dear old Dad - who apparently already had
big plans to exploit the talents of his basketball-playing
children - quickly wrestled the spotlight
away from his relatively soft-spoken son.
Ball jammed his foot into his mouth as often
as possible.
It all started when LaVar - who played a single
season of college basketball, averaging about
two points per game - claimed he'd have beaten
Michael Jordan in his prime.
But that was just the start.
When it came to finding a shoe deal for Lonzo,
LaVar demanded one billion dollars to simply
partner with one of the big boys like Nike,
Adidas, or Under Armour.
They all declined.
Instead, LaVar released his own shoe for Lonzo
under his own brand, known as Big Baller.
The sneaker was put up for sale at a starting
cost of $495, leading to plenty of flak.
Despite actions including insulting players
like Kyrie Irving over the fact his mom died
when he was young, he was frequently put in
front of ESPN and Fox Sports 1 cameras, somehow
keeping that undeserved fame going strong.
As of 2019, Lonzo wasn't speaking to his father.
Remember Sarah Palin, one-time Alaskan governor
and vice presidential candidate in 2008?
Remember her daughter, Bristol, who was pregnant
while still a teenager during her mom's VP
run?
Well, Levi Johnston was Bristol's boyfriend
and, eventually, baby daddy.
And in a just world, we'd have no idea who
he was.
Alas.
“Life isn't always fair."
Johnston gained his first bit of fame when
it was announced that the teenage, unmarried
abstinence advocate Bristol was - wait for
it - pregnant, and he was the father.
Suddenly, he was everywhere that the wannabe
vice president and her family were.
Then, after splitting up with Bristol, Johnston
did the unthinkable: he didn't go away.
He popped up in interviews, both on TV and
in print, detailing his relationship with
Bristol and the rest of the Palin family.
Amazingly, he gained enough infamy that Playgirl
featured him within its pages.
And of course, as with everyone who tries
to stretch their 15 minutes of fame, Johnston
wrote a memoir and appeared on a reality TV
show pilot you've never heard of.
"What a country."
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