

My What if Christmas Wish

Daria White

(2nd Edition)

My What if Christmas Wish

Daria White

Copyright © 2013, 2018 Daria White

Published at Smashwords

All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this eBook may be copied or sold. This eBook is fiction. All characters, locations, and situations are purely fictional, coincidental, and for entertainment only.

Names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as fact. Any resemblance to actual events, organizations, or persons— living or dead— is entirely coincidental.

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

About the Author

Thank You from Daria

My What if Christmas Wish

(A Sweet Holiday Romance Novella)

Chapter 1

Patrice Nelson tried to keep her eyes opened as she listened to her client, Emily Mitchell, rant about her ex-boyfriend. She disregarded her rumbling stomach as she made notes on her notepad, attempting to pay attention. Inside, she was craving lasagna with marinara meat sauce. Despite her present discomfort, Patrice loved being a psychologist. It had always been her dream, and Emily's love life was one of the things keeping Patrice busy in her line of work.

"So you see, Dr. Nelson, I can't imagine my life without him. Jim is the love of my life, but I can't seem to get through to him," Emily raved.

"Emily if you two are not together, why are you wasting your time thinking about him?" Patrice asked patiently.

"Because he really has a good heart. I know he does. If only he would let me know how he feels about me, and stop playing games," Emily explained.

Patrice made more notes on her pad. Her unruly stomach growled again, and she wished she had snuck a snack inside her purse. Why didn't I grab a granola bar? Then she glanced at her clock. Her session with Emily was over. Patrice then uncrossed her legs, sat her glasses on her desk, and put down her notepad.

"I'm sorry Emily, but it looks like our time is up," she informed the young red-headed woman.

"Already? It feels like I just got here," Emily stated. She rose from her spot on the chaise lounge sofa. "Same time next week?"

Patrice answered. "You're leaving out of town this week right? Why don't we make an appointment after Christmas?" She led Emily to the door.

"That's right. My parents asked me to come home this year. I'll let you know my schedule when I get back. Thank you so much, Dr. Nelson. I really appreciate your time," Emily replied.

She hugged Patrice and exited her office. Patrice's assistant, Holly Martin, waved goodbye as Emily left the building.

"I don't know why, but I'm tired all of a sudden," Patrice admitted as she sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room.

"If it makes you feel any better it is your lunch break. Your next appointment is in two hours," Holly reminded her.

"Great. I need all my strength before I talk with Mr. and Mrs. James," Patrice responded and grabbed her coat. Then she retrieved her purse from under her office desk.

As she marched out the door, she mulled over her next appointment. She knew she wasn't a miracle worker, but she was certain that Mr. and Mrs. James still loved each other. It was evident by the lingering glances they would share during their sessions. At one time, Mr. James even clasped his wife's hand as he shared his concerns about their unstable marriage. While Patrice knew all she could do was try, the choice to stay together would be up to the couple.

Patrice strolled to the elevator and waited for the doors to open. She grabbed her cell phone out of her purse and checked the time. She had enough time to eat and to do some last minute Christmas shopping. It was two weeks before Christmas, and she was planning to go home for the holidays. Her family could not wait to see her, for it had been two years since she had opened her own practice.

Business was growing and it demanded most of her time. The other reason she had not been home for Christmas, because her mother would always question about her love life. While her mother obviously wanted her daughter to be successful, she also wanted Patrice to have a family of her own.

The familiar ring of the elevator alerted Patrice, and as she walked through the metal doors. The elevator music kept her company as she thought about her life. Patrice was a college graduate, in addition to having earned both a master's and doctorate degrees.

She had opened her private practice, Let's Talk: Individuals and Family Counseling Services two years ago. It was a very successful business, and she was pleased with the effects it had on the lives of others. Patrice was happy, and could not understand why her mother was not satisfied with her life's choices. Therefore, instead of arguing with her mother during the most wonderful time of the year, she chose to stay away. The only problem with that was she spent her Christmas' alone.

This year, however, Patrice truly missed being around her family. She was the youngest of three children, which included an oldest brother and sister who were twins. Patrice always thought of herself as the oddball of the family because her brother and sister always made mother happy.

Her brother Robert was a lawyer and was married to his high school sweetheart, Yvette. Their daughter, Leah, who was two years old, and Yvette was three months pregnant with their second child, which was going to be another girl. Patrice's sister Renee, on the other hand, was an architect and owned her own firm. Renee married her childhood friend Kyle, a lawyer, and she was six months pregnant with their first child, a boy.

With both of her siblings married, her mother wanted her youngest daughter to be as happy as her other children. Yet, Patrice had a mind of her own. Her father thankfully was the exact opposite. He was proud of all his children, and he seemed content as long as they were happy. She loved both of her parents, but sometimes she preferred her dad to her mom. When she felt her phone vibrate, she answered it quickly thinking it was a client.

"Hello, Dr. Nelson speaking," Patrice began.

"Hi Honey," her mother greeted with obvious cheer in her voice.

"Hi Mom, Merry Christmas," she responded trying to sound excited.

"Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart. Are you still coming home this year?" Her mother wondered.

"Yes ma'am I'll be there," Patrice replied. She was looking forward to seeing her siblings. They talked every week on three-way.

"Wonderful, I can't wait to see you. It's been so long since you came home for Christmas."

"It hasn't been that long."

Her mother continued. "To me, it seems longer. By the way, is there any chance you'll be bringing a boyfriend with you?"

Patrice swallowed, hoping to sound pleasant. "No not this year. I've been too busy to even think about a boyfriend right now."

"Alright, I won't ask when you're going to settle down and—"

"Mom, when the right man comes along we'll see. Right now, I have a business that needs my attention," Patrice explained.

"I'm so proud of you; you've really done well for yourself. But Honey, your career is not going to keep you warm at night. I wish to God you would have stayed with Adam," her mother mentioned. Patrice sighed but heard whispers in the background. Adam Chambers, she recalled.

"Honey, let me talk to her," she heard her father stated. "Hey, baby girl."

"Hey Daddy," Patrice replied beaming. She was a daddy's girl at heart.

"Don't worry about your mother. You know how she is sometimes. All I want you to do is get home as soon as you can," he said.

She exhaled deeply at her father's words. She knew he would talk to her mom for her. He always took up for her. "Okay, Daddy." She then slid into the driver's seat of her Chevy Cruze. Then she hooked her earpiece to her ear.

"Tell me; how's work going for you?" her father asked.

Patrice spent the next ten minutes catching her father upon her current life events.

Chapter 2

When Patrice ended the conversation with her father, she entered the parking lot of her favorite Italian restaurant. Her wool coat shielded her petite five-four frame, as she walked to the entrance. Before she addressed the hostess, she stopped by the ladies room. As she washed her hands, she observed her reflection. Her dark brown hair, halfway down her back in loose curls, complimented her brown skin. The shirt she wore underneath her suit was pink, her leather boots gave her a sophisticated look, and she mixed her gold jewelry with silver.

While she loved her natural features without makeup, she enjoyed applying it to her heart-shaped face. Today it was flawless, despite the bitter winds outside. Her black suit contained pink stripes, which fitted her hourglass body exactly the way she wanted it to. Patrice was proud of herself for staying active. Thank goodness for Pilates. Once she approved her appearance, she exited the restroom.

The female hostess, who directed her to her table, greeted her. Patrice chose to sit by the window just to admire the day. The meteorologist predicted more snow was coming, and joy beamed inside her. There was nothing like a white Christmas for the holiday season. Even though she lived in the northern part of Texas, she reveled in the snow.

Finally, a waiter dressed in black and white came by her table and took her drink order. As she waited for him to return, she glanced over her appointment book. Aside from her appointment with Mr. and Mrs. James, she had three more sessions the following day.

She loved her job. She loved getting to help people and making a difference in their lives. Patrice didn't want to do anything else. Though she had various choices for a major in college, psychology won easily.

Her thoughts interrupted when the waiter returned with her drink. Patrice smiled and ordered her beloved lasagna. When she handed him back the menu, she made eye contact with a man in a black coat with a gray scarf around his neck. Her eyes fluttered in disbelief. Was she imagining things or was this person real? Adam Chambers, she wondered. It couldn't be her old college boyfriend.

Her mouth slightly opened in shock. He was here, literally. She wondered should she get up and leave, but then her brown irises locked with his. She recalled them as if it were only yesterday. Adam smiled her way, but then directed his attention to the hostess. Then he was walking towards Patrice's table.

She nibbled on her bottom lip. Her nerves went into overdrive. What would she say to him? It had been seven years since she had last seen him, and even then, the memory was a heartbreaking one. It seemed as if Adam was walking in slow motion. She swore that time paused and she was in a movie as it slowed the scenes for dramatic effects. She couldn't help but stare as he approached her table.

He looked the same. However, unlike the jeans and hoodies he sported in college, he now wore a charcoal business suit underneath his black trench coat. Adam's hair appeared freshly cut, and his bright smile beamed. Patrice had loved his dark chocolate skin, recalling how at one time she thought it made his kisses that much sweeter. She smiled at the recollection of their romantic moments.

"Patrice Nelson," Adam began, "I can't believe it."

"Adam Chambers. I had to look a second time. I couldn't believe it myself," she managed to say in response.

Her breath hitched and this time she felt the patters of her heart. Even after seven years, Adam Chambers still had an effect on her. Maybe I never got over him, she thought. She noticed he had a goatee. That's new. His beard trimmed perfectly flowing with his dark brown mustache.

"Well, do I get a hug or something?" Adam asked.

Patrice rose from her seat and embraced Adam. He kissed her ear the same way he used to do when they dated. She held back a cough from escaping. Every time he hugged her, he would kiss her ear. His woodsy cologne entranced her senses, and his strong arms made her feel secure. I need to get away from him. After they broke their embrace, Adam removed his coat, scarf, and took the seat across from her.

"Have you ordered yet?" he asked.

"Yes I did," Patrice answered. She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?"

"The same as you, eating lunch," Adam replied jokingly.

She giggled. "No. I meant what are you doing back here in Texas. I thought you moved to Tennessee because of your job."

"I did, but my boss sent me back here. We're expanding the company and they needed me here to set it up," Adam explained.

"You always wanted to be in advertising didn't you?" she recalled. She cupped her cheek in her hand as she admired his enthusiasm. They had that in common. They both loved their careers.

He nodded. "Ever since I can remember. What about you? I heard you're a shrink?" he asked, obviously teasing her.

Patrice lightly hit his hand. "For your information, Mr. Chambers, I am a psychologist. I opened my own practice, which has been going strong for two years now."

"I didn't think you were serious about psychology in college, but I guess you proved me wrong."

"I proved my mother wrong too." She mumbled. She took a sip of her drink.

"How is your family?" Adam asked.

Patrice knew he was being sincere. Her family loved him, and they were disappointed when they found out the couple had broken up. "They're doing well. They can't wait for me to come home for Christmas. I haven't been home in a while."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

She explained. "Starting my own practice really took up most of my time. I wasn't comfortable leaving it behind so soon."

"So you're ready now?"

"I think so. I've made a pretty good life for myself." Patrice paused. She was grateful there wasn't tension between them, but she had to admit the truth. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Adam replied with a smile.

The waiter came back and placed Patrice's plate on the table. He asked Adam, "What can I get for you, sir?"

"I'll have what she's having," Adam responded.

The waiter nodded and left the table. Patrice took a bite from her lasagna after she prayed over it. She moaned with satisfaction, as she relished in the marinara sauce on her tongue.

"I guess it's good?" Adam commented.

"I'm sorry," she replied after she swallowed, "I should have waited until he brought your food."

"That's alright. I can wait," Adam told her.

"I have a second fork, so you can sample my plate. Besides, you might not like this," Patrice said. She handed him the second fork that was in her napkin.

"Are you sure?" Adam asked, sounding surprised.

"Here you go," she beamed.

As he took it, their fingers touched. Though the brush of skin was only for a moment, it sent an electrical charge to her chest. Patrice watched intently while Adam tasted her lunch. He nodded in satisfaction as well.

"This is good," Adam said.

Patrice smiled loving that she was with Adam once again. It was easy to be around him. For them to talk as if no time had passed between them, it made her that much more grateful for their relationship. Relationship? Patrice couldn't fathom why, but she was beginning to feel eerie on the inside.

Was this her second chance with Adam? He's not here for that and neither are you. Though she had to bite her tongue, she wondered if there was a possibility of something brewing between them once again. Was this like fine wine? Did it get better with age? They were older and wiser, so maybe... just wait and see.

The duo continued with their conversation. Even after the waiter brought Adam his plate, the two continued to reminisce on old times. Adam even let Patrice eat off his plate. She loved talking with Adam, listening to his baritone voice. He sounded strong and confident, which made him even more attractive. While he was the same guy she fell for in college, it didn't compare to the successful man sitting across from her. She listened to him tell her how his family was and how he loved his job. Still, Patrice could not help remembering their break up.

Chapter 3

Patrice remembered pulling up to Adam's apartment in her car. She could not wait to see him. He called her to come over because he wanted to tell her some exciting news. She knocked on the apartment door, anticipation running through her veins. His roommate Philip answered the door. He looked as if he was leaving.

"Hey Patrice, he's in his room," Philip said as he walked past her.

Patrice closed the door behind her. "Adam," she called out.

"Back here, Babe," Adam declared.

Patrice entered his bedroom. Adam was packing up his things in cardboard boxes. When he saw Patrice, he smiled and greeted her with a kiss.

"Is this what you wanted to tell me? You're moving?" Patrice asked as she removed her coat. She rested on the foot end of his full-size bed.

"Baby, I got a job in Tennessee at an advertising firm. It's only part-time since its junior level, but that means I can work on my master's degree. I'll be able to make a decent living as I work my way up," Adam explained. His beaming smile gave him away.

Patrice swallowed hard. He's leaving. "Tennessee? I thought you were planning to stay here. What about your family? What do they think?" She did not like the way the conversation was going.

"I already talked with my parents. They think I should take it. Sure, they'll miss me, but come on Babe, this is it for me," Adam responded.

Patrice's shoulders drooped in disappointment. "Okay. I'll ask the obvious question. What about us?"

Adam rolled his computer chair forward and sat in front of her. "Patrice, you know I love you. Right?"

"Yes."

"I know this is sudden, but I want this. I've worked hard for this, Patrice."

"I know you have. I know this is your dream. I just... I thought... I want to be a part of it."

"And I want you to be a part of it."

"Adam, we've been together for three years. I have to know. What's going to happen with you and me? Is there a future for us?" Patrice wondered.

"There is Patrice. I want you to come with me," Adam replied.

Patrice furrowed her eyebrows. "Say what?"

"I want you to come with me," Adam repeated.

"Adam I—"

"You know I couldn't leave without you. Don't you know that?"

Patrice could feel her heart beating faster. It thudded in her ears. Everything was happening so fast. She exhaled deeply, wringing her fingers together to keep her composure. "I don't know about this," she stated honestly.

"Come on, Patrice. What do you think?" Adam asked as he took her hands in his.

She admitted, "I need time to let this sink in for a moment."

"Do you want to come with me, Babe? You know I'll take care of you."

"I don't know. This is kind of sudden."

"It might sound that way Patrice, but believe me I know what I want. I want you to come with me to Tennessee."

"Really Adam? I don't think that I—"

Adam released her hands. "Wait. Before you say anything else, I need to do this while I still can. I've been saving up to give this to you for a while now." He kneeled in front of her.

Patrice gasped as he pulled out a small black box. It was obviously a ring box. She gazed at the sparkling solitaire diamond ring encased inside.

"Adam, what are you..." she breathed.

"Patrice, will you marry me?" Adam asked.

Patrice looked into his brown eyes. She knew he was being genuine. For three years, Adam was the love of her life. Patrice tried to utter the words, but she could not.

Fear paralyzed her. What if it doesn't work out, she pondered. What if it's a mistake? I can't take my heart being broken. While she and Adam had a healthy relationship, his words replayed in her mind. I'll take care of you. To most women that was a sweet line, but Patrice knew her boyfriend's intent.

She sincerely loved him, and she knew he felt the same about her. Adam wasn't a chauvinist, but he always talked about taking care of her the way his father did for his own family. Adam's mother never worked outside their home but lived as a housewife and mother. Therefore, over the course of their relationship, Adam always hinted to Patrice that she shouldn't have to work either. That's not what she wanted. While she loved his intentions, she wanted a career. She had come too far in her studies to give up now. Would he understand?

"What about my studies?" she wondered.

"You're finishing soon, so you'll have your degree."

She folded her arms. "Are you comfortable with me working?"

"Babe, you know how I feel about that. You shouldn't have to work. I'll support us both."

"Adam, I want a career. I want it all."

"Sometimes we can't always have that."

She fumed. "So you can have what you want, but I have to compromise?"

He sighed as he cupped the ring in his palm. "Patrice?"

She couldn't do it. She couldn't give up her dream, even if she loved him to pieces. Therefore, she said the hardest word ever. "No." Tears streamed down her face like a flowing river.

"What did you say?" Adam asked looking puzzled.

"No Adam. I can't marry you," Patrice responded wiping her face.

"Are you serious?" Adam replied, looking confused.

"Are you serious?" Patrice retorted back letting her emotions get the best of her. "How can you ask me that? Especially after telling me, you're moving and you want me to go with you to Tennessee. Now all of a sudden you want to get married."

"Hold up Patrice. I thought this was what you wanted?"

"I thought I did, but you can't just dump this on me now. You know I have a chance to go to graduate school here. You're not even willing to compromise."

"I keep telling you—"

"I think it's selfish of you to ask me to give up my way of life, so you can have what you want. What about me?"

Adam glared at her. "I think there's more than what you're telling me."

"What?" Patrice argued.

"You're scared," Adam responded.

That too. Could he blame her? It was her biggest fear of all. She had already fought for her place in her family as the youngest child. She didn't want to repeat that in her relationship. Patrice didn't want to lose her identity and ride on the coattails of someone else. She wanted her own unique imprint in the world.

She had worked hard in college, even working in the work-study program to help pay her school expenses. She didn't want that to go to waste. She wanted to be successful too. Why couldn't Adam see that she was an independent spirit? She wanted to contribute and complement her future husband.

"Excuse me!" Patrice exclaimed.

"I said you're scared," he repeated.

Patrice folded her arms. "Unless you tell me you're okay with me working, I'm leaving."

"That's not how I was raised. Why don't you just admit that you're afraid," Adam stated.

Patrice hated the fact that he knew her so well. How was he so sure he wanted to be with her? Didn't they need time to get older and wiser before settling down? Adam inched closer to her.

"Adam please...," Patrice whispered in between her tears.

He kissed her forehead and held her close. "You don't have to be scared," Adam whispered back in her ear after he kissed it.

Patrice pulled away without saying a word. She headed towards the door.

"Patrice why don't we—"

"I'm sorry, Adam. I can't," Patrice said as she opened the door.

Adam closed it and put both arms on either side of her. She turned slowly and faced him.

"Patrice, do you love me?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"Yes," she replied still crying. "You know I love you." Patrice felt her heart pounding inside her chest like a percussionist beating his drum. "I just... can't."

Adam backed away from her. "So what do you want?"

"I don't know."

Adam etched his eyebrows, taken aback by her rejection.

"I'm sorry." She admitted.

"Sorry isn't good enough for me right now," he replied. The hurt in his voice was evident.

Patrice murmured, "Maybe I shouldn't have come over."

Adam nodded. "Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have."

He turned from her and walked away. "You can let yourself out."

Patrice stood still as Adam walked back to his room. She then wiped her tears, opened the front door, and wandered back to her car.

Chapter 4

Patrice's thoughts interrupted when she heard Adam say her name. He had said something to her and she did not respond to him. They had finished their lunch, but they stayed a little longer for dessert.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked as he touched her hand.

She loved how in tune he was with her. He didn't always get it right, but she loved when he tried to make her feel better. "Yes, I was just thinking," Patrice responded. She pulled out her phone with her free hand, hating that she needed to be leaving soon.

"You sure? You look like you had a lot on your mind," Adam added still holding onto her hand.

"I was just thinking," Patrice informed him.

"About what, if you don't mind me asking," Adam wondered.

"About us. About how things ended between us. I hate it ended the way it did," Patrice replied not realizing what she'd just said. She wished she had kept her thoughts to herself.

He nodded in apparent agreement with her. "I hate we ended that way too. We were good together weren't we?"

Patrice was surprised. "Yeah, we were."

"Three years we were together."

"I know." Patrice cleared her throat. "Do you think about us... sometimes?"

"Sometimes."

"I never apologized about leaving the way I did."

Adam gave a faint smile. "You don't have to Patrice. I understood. You wanted your own life and I had to understand that."

"I know, but Adam I was young. I didn't—"

"Adam!" a sweet female voice called out, disturbing the couple's moment. Patrice watched as Adam turned to see the young woman behind them. He released Patrice's hand.

Patrice observed the young woman. She had medium length black hair, smooth brown skin, petite, and she carried a briefcase in her hands. Her makeup was flawless and her smile beamed from her square-shaped face. Adam stood to greet her. Much to Patrice's chagrin, he kissed her lips. Patrice felt her heart plummet as she watched the couple embrace affectionately. Adam took the woman by the hand and faced Patrice once more.

"Patrice, I want you to meet my fiancé, Danielle Edwards. Danielle, this is Patrice Nelson," Adam stated.

"Nice to meet you, Patrice," Danielle replied extending her hand.

Patrice took it kindly. This can't be happening. "Nice to meet you too, Danielle." She tried to sound as sincere as possible. Inside she wanted to dash for the door like a runner in an Olympic race. Adam helped Danielle out of her coat and pulled a chair for her to sit next to him. I need to get out of here—now. Patrice signaled the waiter to bring her the check.

"I'm glad I got to meet you, Patrice. Adam has mentioned you a few times. It's nice to put the face with the name," Danielle said.

Patrice smiled. She's actually nice, she thought. "It's nice to meet you. Adam and I knew each other a while back. We were just catching up on old times."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." Danielle directed her attention to Adam. "Honey, we should invite Patrice to the wedding."

"Danielle, Patrice might be at home with her family during our wedding. Aren't you going home for Christmas?" Adam asked as he locked eyes with Patrice.

"I am I—wait a minute. You two are getting married on Christmas?" Patrice replied stunned.

Danielle nodded as if trying to hold back a squeal. "Christmas Eve actually. Both of our families we'll be here anyway, so we thought it would be a great Christmas present to the both of them." Danielle then turned and kissed Adam's lips.

Patrice did not know what to say. In two weeks, he'll be married.

"That's great." Patrice looked at her phone again. "You know I hate to run, but I really need to get back to the office. Danielle, it was nice to meet you, and Adam it was great seeing you again."

Patrice shook hands with both of them forcing a smile. She retrieved her coat from the back of her chair and left the table after she said a final goodbye. Patrice stopped in front of her car and exhaled deeply. I can't believe this. She put on her coat and retrieved her keys from her purse.

"Patrice," Adam called out. "Are you okay?"

Just go Adam, please. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be," Patrice replied, even though she was lying through her teeth.

"Are you sure? I hope you weren't uncomfortable with Danielle being there. That wasn't my intention," he continued.

"I'm fine, Adam. I'm happy for you. I hope you two are very happy together," Patrice replied as genuinely as possible.

"Thank you. It was good to see you again," Adam said with a smile.

"You too," Patrice responded.

Adam took her by the hand and embraced her one last time. He kissed her ear as always.

Patrice lingered in his arms for a moment but pulled away. "Merry Christmas Adam."

"Merry Christmas Patrice," he answered.

With that, she slid into the driver's seat of her car. Before she drove away, she watched Adam return inside the restaurant through her rearview mirror.

I'm sorry Adam. Patrice drove down the road. I want to be happy for you. I just know it could've been me.

Chapter 5

Patrice entered her office and walked past Holly without saying a word. Her assistant followed her. Patrice was grateful that Holly didn't ask her how her break was. She didn't want to think about it. Instead, Holly placed some files on her boss' desk.

"Are the James' here yet?" Patrice wondered as she took off her coat.

Holly replied, "Actually they called to see if they could reschedule. They had to rush their son to the emergency room. He had an accident playing basketball."

"Well we won't be taking any appointments until after Christmas, so they can set up an appointment then. And send them a get well card too for their son," Patrice replied trying not to sound distracted. Still, she knew where her mind was. She continued with Holly, "At least this way I can go home early and finish my Christmas shopping."

"Are you okay, Dr. Nelson? You seem... out of sorts," Holly asked sitting in the chair across from Patrice's desk.

Patrice locked her gaze on Holly's blue eyes. The strawberry blonde was extremely efficient as her assistant. "Of course, why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You seem different from when you left. Nothing's wrong is there?" Holly wondered.

"No Holly nothing's wrong. Can you send Jim in here? I need him to mail a few things for me," Patrice replied.

Holly went back to her desk and paged Jim. Patrice hired him a year ago to mail the patients thank you letters, Christmas and New Year cards, and get well cards if the patients fell ill. Patrice found this technique to work because it showed her patients she cared about them. Jim was also in charge of keeping the business' website up to date. Now the company was emailing instead of mailing actual letters, but Patrice liked mailing the Christmas cards.

Jim walked through the door. "You sent for me, Dr. Nelson?"

Patrice had given him his first job for Jim was straight out of college. He was a hard worker and Patrice enjoyed having him part of her staff. "Yes. I need you to mail these Christmas cards to the patients, and after that, you can go home."

"You sure? I can work a little longer," Jim replied taking the envelopes.

"I'm sure Jim. After mailing the letters, you're free to go home. I'll see you tomorrow," Patrice said.

With that, Jim nodded with a smile and left. Patrice watched him signing out with Holly and leaving the office.

Holly's phone rang. "Dr. Nelson line two; it's your sister Renee."

"Thanks, Holly I got it," Patrice replied. "Hello."

"Hey sis how are you?" Renee said, with obvious chirpiness in her voice.

"I'm alright," Patrice replied as she closed the door to her office. She sat on her desk and combed her hair with her fingers.

"You sound a little down. What's wrong?" Renee asked now sounding concerned.

Might as well spill it. "Guess who I saw today at lunch?"

"Please, don't tell me you saw that idiot Bill. I couldn't stand his attitude when you two dated. If you ask me, he loved being a bachelor more than you," Renee declared.

Patrice smiled at the joke. "No. I saw... Adam."

"Adam? As in Adam Chambers?"

"Yes."

"How is he?"

"He's engaged," Patrice said regretfully.

Renee coughed in the background. "You're kidding." She sounded shocked by the news.

"Nope, I met her. Her name is Danielle and they're getting married on Christmas Eve."

"Wow."

"I know."

"Are you okay? I know you two were really something in college. To be honest, he was my favorite of your few boyfriends. Our whole family loved Adam."

She admitted, "I loved him too."

"I know. Are you going to be okay?"

"I should be."

"But Patrice it's been what, seven years since you've seen Adam."

"I know. But as we talked and had lunch together, I started to think about what we had and us and... how it ended." She shook her head at the possibility. She couldn't still feel the same way after all this time... or maybe it never left in the first place.

Renee wondered, "Did you tell him how you feel?"

"I can't he's getting married. Besides his fiancé is nice. It wouldn't be fair."

"He was your man first."

"I know, but if I was in her shoes I wouldn't want anybody to do that to me. And I don't even know if Adam... never mind."

"You'll never know Patrice unless you try."

"It's too late, Renee. Besides, I need to get back to work. Anyway, how's the hubby."

"He's fine. He can't wait to see you. He wants a rematch in that Domino's game."

Patrice giggled. "Seriously that was two years ago."

"He wants his money. Besides, he's been really excited lately."

"He should since he's going to be a father."

"I can't wait for this baby to get here."

"You let my nephew take his time growing. He'll get here when he gets here."

"I should've known you would take his side. He's already kicked me in my ribs."

"Maybe you ate something he didn't like," Patrice laughed.

"Whatever. Anyway, sis, I think you should try to talk to Adam. Don't let him get away a second time," Renee encouraged her.

Patrice sighed. "I'll think about it."

"Don't think about it too long. After all, he is getting married on Christmas Eve," Renee added.

"Thanks, sis. I'll call you tomorrow alright. Tell Kyle I said hi," Patrice said opening up her laptop.

"I will. Love you, sis."

"Love you too."

Patrice hung up the phone and pulled up her itinerary. After Christmas, she would reopen the following week. New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, she would close, and then she would reopen and continue with the New Year. By that time Adam will be married, she thought. Patrice then packed her things and prepared to leave the office for the day.

Chapter 6

Patrice opened the door to her craftsman styled house after she pulled into her driveway. She placed her shopping bags in a corner and walked to her bedroom. She changed her clothes, went and grabbed the shopping bags, and wrapped the presents she was talking to her family. Patrice couldn't deny it. Adam crossed her mind, again. She thought about the good times they'd shared before he asked her to marry him. He was truly her college sweetheart.

I wondered what would have happened if I had said yes. Where would we be right now? Patrice rose from her place on the floor and walked over to the window. She remembered the first time she and Adam met.

****

It was Patrice's second year at Langston Hughes University, where Adam was a new transfer student. They met in the student union as Adam was walking away from the counter with his food order. Patrice was reading a passage from her book when she accidentally bumped into him. His drink and food spilled over them and the floor.

"I'm so sorry. I thought I was watching where I was going," Patrice said apologetically.

"That's alright. Are you okay?" Adam replied. He picked the remaining French fries out of her hair.

Patrice smiled even though she was embarrassed. "I'm okay. Thanks for not being upset. I know I should've paid more attention." She picked up her books.

"Well if you did, we probably wouldn't have met," Adam said with a heartwarming smile.

"I'm getting the feeling you're flirting with me," Patrice responded returning the kind gesture.

"If I told you I was, would you go out with me tonight?" Clearly taken with her, Patrice mulled over his offer. "Maybe, but I don't know you that well to go out with you."

He joked, "That's the whole point of going out with me so you can get to know me."

Patrice thought about it, but she was not sure if she should agree. "I don't know."

"What's your name?" Adam asked.

"Patrice. Patrice Nelson," she answered.

"I'm Adam Chambers. Nice to meet you," he replied as he extended his hand.

Patrice took it kindly, loving how his thumb grazed over her knuckles. They rose up from the floor as the employees came to clean up the mess.

He suggested, "How about this Patrice, why don't we make it a group thing. You invite your friends and I'll invite mine. If you like it, then we can go on a date by ourselves. If not, I'll never bother you again."

Patrice considered the idea. She would be comfortable if her friends were there with her. "Okay. I think that'll work." She turned to walk away.

"Where should we meet?" He called after her.

Patrice spotted him still smiling at her. "We'll meet here tonight at seven." She walked out of the student union looking forward to seeing him again.

That evening, Adam met Patrice at the student union. She brought her two friends Emma and Andrea, and he, in turn, brought his friends Luke and Will. The group decided to see a movie and afterward, they went bowling. It was the battle of the sexes, and the girls rubbed it in the boys' faces every time they scored. The guys seemed to enjoy watching the ladies play and Patrice noticed Adam's eyes never left her.

On that night, she wore jeans with a yellow short-sleeved top. She caught Adam staring at her from time to time. She found it flattering. While their friends entertained each other, he appeared to want to spend time with her.

"Having fun?" he asked putting his arm around her.

"I think so, as long as you behave," Patrice replied in a flirty voice.

"How am I doing so far?" Adam asked in a whisper.

Her heart clenched. She was starting to like Adam, even though she barely knew him. "So far you're being a gentleman."

"Does this mean we can have a second date?"

Patrice giggled. "You don't waste any time do you?"

"Let's just say I'm interested in you and I would like to get to know you better," he revealed.

"How do I know you're being sincere, and you're not trying to win me on a bet or something?"

Adam laughed at her statement. "What makes you think that?"

"I've had my experiences."

Adam moved closer. "Well, maybe you had the experience with the wrong man."

Patrice moved in closer to him and gazed into his eyes. "Are you always this forward with women?"

"Only with beautiful women," Adam replied slyly.

"You think you're all that don't you?"

"Do you think that?"

"Just answer the question, Casanova," Patrice pressed him but kept the humor in their banter.

"No I don't, but if you think that I can't argue with you."

"Whatever player," Patrice responded as she folded her arms and sat back in her seat.

"Come on now. You can't label me without giving me a fair chance to prove myself," Adam pointed out with a grin.

Patrice conceded. "Okay. I'll give you a chance, just don't blow it." She rose from her seat beside him and rejoined her friends at the snack bar. When the date ended, Patrice allowed Adam to walk her back to her dorm room. Unbelievably, she felt comfortable around him and enjoyed the time she had with him and his friends.

"Do you think you know me well enough now to go out with me alone?" Adam asked inching closer.

"I think I can. What do you have in mind?" Patrice beamed.

"I don't know. I was planning on you saying no," Adam replied jokingly.

Patrice laughed. "I think you underestimated me, Adam Chambers. Goodnight."

"There's something about you Patrice," Adam declared. He appeared mesmerized by her.

She twisted her mouth into a grin. "I know."

"Do you mind if I call you?" Adam asked.

"You can if you want to," Patrice replied as she unlocked her dorm room door.

"Can I get your number?"

She pointed out, "You already have it."

"I do?"

"Check your right pocket in your jacket." With that, Patrice closed her door.

****

Patrice continued to stare out the window. The sky was mostly clear, aside from the few clouds against the blackened sky. The stars gave off a magnificent glow, twinkling away to their own rhythm. Tears filled her eyes once more.

She wondered was Adam truly happy with Danielle, and was he going to proceed with the wedding. Patrice knew she had not seen nor heard from him in seven years, but deep down she knew her feelings for him were still the same as the day she left his apartment. The reality hit her like dump trunk. She laid curled up in front of the window on the floor.

It took seeing him for her to admit her true feelings. She had made a mistake. She used her work to hide behind the truth. When her friends and family asked, she denied the possibility. Still, it was inevitable. She didn't have it all.

What would have happened if I had married him? Maybe I wouldn't feel this way. I'm not happy. I know I'm not. Patrice cried herself to sleep.

Chapter 7

Patrice tossed and turned until she found a comfortable spot. The alarm clock went off, causing her to jerk. It continued to beep until someone turned it off. Patrice fluttered her eyes open. The room around her was not familiar at all. She heard a man moan as the bed shifted. Then he put his arm around her waist. Patrice gasped in fear, as she did not know where she was. Who was the man in bed with her?

She closed her eyes thinking it was a dream. She could wake up from it. All she had to do was squeeze her eyes shut. The trick had worked when she was a kid when nightmares haunted her. She could easily escape terror then, and this time was no different.

Patrice opened her eyes again, but she was still in the same room. The man's arm was still around her. Next, she overheard a baby cry in the background. The man beside her groaned this time, just before she felt the bed shift once more. Then he was on his feet. When he patted Patrice's foot, she watched as he put on a sleeveless t-shirt.

"I'll get him, Babe," he said, still sounding sleepy.

Patrice jumped up at the man's voice. "Adam?" That can't be him, could it?

She examined the bedroom. Her eyes finally gazed at a picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of her and Adam— a wedding picture. Patrice's eyes widened as she stared at her left hand. I'm wearing a ring. Adam had proposed the same solitaire diamond ring, and a simple platinum wedding band accompanied it. It suited Patrice perfectly. Still stunned, she leaped out of the queen-sized bed. The situation baffled her. She asked herself, what's happening to me? Is this a dream?

At that point, Adam returned with a baby in his arms. Patrice paced the floor talking to herself.

"Honey, are you okay?" he wondered.

Patrice faced him as he cradled the baby in his strong arms. While his manly physique was evident with his muscular arms and strong torso, he looked endearing and gentle holding an infant. Drawn to him all over again, her stomach fluttered.

"What?" Patrice choked.

"Are you okay? You were talking to yourself," Adam replied. He continued to rock the baby in his arms.

"I don't know. I'm a little... confused," she responded. She cradled her head and sat on the bed. Then Patrice heard someone running down the hallway. A little girl entered the room. She was wearing pink pajamas with purple stars, and her hair was in pigtails. She favored Patrice with her heart-shaped face and brown eyes.

"Morning Mommy," the little girl grinned.

Patrice's eyes widened her mind in disbelief. "Mommy? Oh my... this can't be... wow..."

The little girl tried to sit on her lap. Patrice froze too stunned to move. The little girl ended up sitting on her feet.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Adam repeated as he placed the baby on the bed.

The little girl then rose from Patrice's feet and jumped into Adam's arms. He hugged her back and kissed her baby cheeks.

Patrice swallowed hard. She needed to stay calm, but deep down she wanted to scream. Was she going crazy? What kind of dream was this? She finally answered, "I don't know. I think I'm having a bad dream or something. What am I doing here?"

"Are we still going to Grandma's, Daddy?" the little girl inquired as she played with Adam's mustache.

"Yep. You and Grandma have a full play day today. Go get ready to brush your teeth. Daddy will be there in a minute," Adam replied.

Patrice observed Adam's actions with the little girl. She appeared to adore him and he seemed to be a good father. Patrice smiled, recalling how they were doing their relationship. Various times they had talked about how many kids they wanted, so to see it manifested... it's too surreal.

"Okay Daddy," the little girl said as Adam set her on her feet. She sprinted out of the room.

"We're married?" Patrice asked him.

Adam looked bewildered. "For the past seven years. If this is about your anniversary gift, all sales are final," he laughed as he walked off.

Patrice didn't know what he meant. She started after him but turned to see the baby dressed in blue pajamas. He was still lying on the bed playing with his pacifier. Not wanting to leave him unattended, she carefully picked him up and followed Adam.

"We've been married for seven years?" Patrice asked.

"Yeah, Honey. Are you sure you're alright?" Adam said as he rinsed off his toothbrush.

"I thought you moved away to Tennessee."

"We did."

I went with him. "We? You mean... I went to Tennessee with you?"

"After we got engaged we moved to Tennessee, got married, and after Hannah was born we moved back here," Adam explained seeming extremely puzzled by the conversation.

"I went with you?" Patrice whispered as she sat on the wall of the bathtub. The baby rested in her lap, his head against her chest.

Adam observed her expression while washing his face. He appeared concerned. "Patrice, are you alright?"

She shook her head, while the baby boy played with her fingers. "I don't know. Adam the last time I saw you, we were having lunch and you introduced me to your fiancé, Danielle."

"Baby, I don't know a Danielle."

This can't be real. She continued, "The next thing I knew, I woke up in bed... with you."

"Babe, do you need to get so more sleep?" He walked out of the bathroom and she followed once more toting the baby. They both found the little girl squirting too much toothpaste from the tube. Adam sighed, "Hannah, I told you to wait for me." He extended his hand to take the tube from her pint-sized hands.

"Sorry Daddy," Hannah replied dropping her shoulders.

"That's okay, but next time wait for Daddy. Alright?" he responded. She nodded. "Come here Daddy's not upset okay?"

He took her in his arms and placed her on the counter. He cleaned up the spilled mess, and he squeezed fresh toothpaste on her toothbrush. Patrice observed Adam as he interacted with Hannah. He was a natural with her: firm but gentle. When Hannah finished brushing her teeth, Adam took her off the counter. He walked over to Patrice and extended his arms for her to give him the baby. She did happily.

"This is really hard to believe," she murmured.

"What is?" Adam responded. He put the pacifier in the little boy's mouth.

"You... being a father," Patrice replied honestly.

"I didn't think I could do it either, but we're in this together right?" Adam looked at the little boy. "Okay Junior let's let Mommy get Hannah dressed, then you can have her all to yourself when we leave."

"Junior?" Patrice asked, "He's named after you?"

"Adam Chambers, Jr.," Adam replied rocking his son back and forth.

"Wow, this is really confusing," Patrice said to herself.

"What was that, Baby?" Adam wondered.

"Nothing. I'm alright. I think," she responded trying to make sense of what was happening around her. So far, all she knew was, she married to Adam and they had two kids.

"Well while you think, why don't you get Hannah dressed," Adam suggested.

"What for?" Patrice wondered.

"So she can go to my mom's house today remember?" Adam reminded her. He kissed her forehead. "Maybe you do need a break."

"I don't know how to dress her," Patrice answered getting nervous.

"It's too early to be joking around," Adam laughed. Junior whimpered in his arms. He patted his son's back. "I guess it's time to feed you, huh little man?"

Adam meandered toward the kitchen. Patrice followed along with Hannah, but then she noticed the Christmas tree in what looked like the family room. The room stood fully decorated with ornaments and stringed popcorn. Gifts were already collecting around it. Candles were all over the mantle, while Christmas lights decorated the front windows. Even garland accentuated the front door, along with poinsettias on the floor.

Patrice admitted the house felt like Christmas. It was peaceful. It felt like... home. Not only that but whoever decorated the house had amazing taste. Did I do this?

"You dress me all the time, Mommy," Hannah assured her as she hugged Patrice's leg.

Patrice shook her head not convinced of Hannah's sweet words.

Chapter 8

"Come on, Patrice. What's the big deal with getting Hannah dressed," Adam added. He put Junior's bottle in the microwave.

"Let's just say... I'm not quite myself today," Patrice said as she massaged her temples.

"Patrice, all you have to do is help Hannah put on the clothes. I think you picked them out for her last night. She's already brushed her teeth, I'll get her some cereal, and I'll take it from there. Okay?" Adam said as he took the bottle out of the microwave as soon as the timer went off. He told her. "Hold out your wrist real quick." Patrice held out her wrist as Adam squirted some of the milk on it.

"I think that's warm enough," Patrice responded not knowing how she knew that.

Adam nodded and put the bottle in Junior's mouth. The little boy held it up with his own hands.

"How old is he again?" she wondered.

Adam furrowed his eyebrows but answered, "Seven months." His hand remained on the back of the bottle.

"Come on, Mommy. I got to get ready for Grandma's," Hannah said taking Patrice's hand.

"Adam seriously. I'm not sure if I can do this," Patrice argued.

"You make it sound like you're going to break her or something," he stated still feeding Junior.

"Adam, I'm not a Mom. I woke up this morning here."

"Honey, is this one of your jokes again?"

"No, I'm not joking Adam."

"Come on Mommy," Hannah interrupted again.

"Patrice, just get Hannah dressed. I can take her over to my mom's okay. I have to get to work soon," Adam stated.

Patrice sighed still bewildered by the whole situation. She looked into Hannah's brown eyes. She definitely favors me.

"I'll try," she conceded and followed Hannah to her bedroom.

Once in Hannah's room, Patrice helped as best she could while observing the room. Purple and pink stars decorated the walls, with a twin-sized bed in the corner. Hannah had her own pink tea party table and chairs in the other corner.

Teddy bears rested in the seats as if waiting for her. She also had a purple toy chest on the other side of the room. Patrice gathered Hannah's clothes that laid on her bed. As soon as Hannah was dressed, Patrice rose up from her knees.

"Wait, Mommy. You have to do my hair," Hannah reminded her pulling her shirt down her small torso.

"I do your hair too?" Patrice asked. How am I going to do this?

"Mommy, you always do my hair," Hannah beamed.

Patrice smiled back. In a short amount of time, Hannah was tugging at her heartstrings. "Oh okay. Well... you sit in one of your chairs, and I'll fix your hair," Patrice said as her eyes roamed around for a comb.

I hope I know what I'm doing, she thought. Finally, she spotted one on top of Hannah's dresser. She even went to the nearby bathroom and found some hair ties. When Patrice returned, she got on her knees behind Hannah and fixed the little girl's pigtails.

She took them apart one at a time, combed them through, and then retied it with the current bows. Once Patrice was finished, she was proud of herself. Maybe I can do this.

Adam walked in just as Patrice helped Hannah put on her coat. "You ready to eat Hannah?" he inquired.

"Yes Daddy," Hannah replied. She turned to face Patrice. "Thanks, Mommy." She embraced her neck and then left for the kitchen.

Patrice's heart melted at the sweet gesture. Her eyes followed as Hannah walked out of the room.

"Are you fully awake now?" Adam joked.

Patrice rolled her eyes, but her grin gave her away. Adam was now dressed in black slacks, a white collared shirt, a dark blue tie, and leather black shoes. She admitted that he looked sharp.

"Very funny. Where's the baby? I mean where's... Junior?" she responded.

"I put him back to bed."

She nodded and followed him. Back inside their room, her eyes roamed once more. She wondered which dresser was hers. Then she noticed perfume bottles on top of one and chose the dark chocolate finished dresser. Patrice sauntered over and searched for something to wear. She settled for a quarter length gray shirt and some gray sweat pants. Next, she decided to slip her feet inside the pink slippers she had discovered beside the bed.

Then Patrice moseyed to the bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and put it in a ponytail. As she proceeded to get dressed, she noticed Adam watching as she pulled her pants over her hips. His eyes appeared to skim over her attire.

"Looking good, Mrs. Chambers," he complimented. From there, he grabbed the jacket to his suit.

"Are you flirting with me?" Patrice flirted back with him. What am I doing? Then again, if they were married in the fantasy, what was the harm in enjoying her time with him? No, she told herself. It's not real. It's not real. He's getting married.

Adam snaked his strong arms around her waist. She wanted to push him away, but she relished in his embrace. She had missed his touch. She had missed him.

"Are you leaving for work?" she murmured. Her body was under his spell.

Adam then caressed her ear with his lips. "I should be home around seven. I'll bring Hannah back with me, so you don't have to worry about picking her up." He released his grip.

"So does Junior go to daycare?"

Adam chuckled. "No, you chose to stay home with him."

"I'm a stay at home mom?" Patrice whispered to herself. She locked eyes with Adam.

"I'll see you later, Honey," Adam said.

"You're going to leave me alone with a baby?" The idea stunned her.

"That baby is our son. I thought you liked having him home with you," Adam responded as he put on his trench coat. He walked towards the front door.

Patrice followed. "You can't trust me to be alone with him. I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're too much, Babe." He smiled, not noticing her fidgeting hands.

"Even if that were true, that was before this morning."

Adam massaged her shoulders. "Honey, why don't you try to relax today? You know what, why don't you cook that special dinner you've been promising me."

She exhaled deeply. I cook too. Adam wrapped his gray scarf around his neck. Patrice remembered it as the same one he had worn when she saw him at the restaurant.

"Hannah, come on. Let's go to Grandma's," Adam called out. His attention came back to Patrice. "Just follow the recipe on the refrigerator. Hannah and I should be back around dinner time."

Patrice's hand nervously glided up her face, but she calmed at Adam stroking her cheek.

"Babe, if you need me just call."

Hannah joined them in the foyer and took her father's free hand.

"I have your number right?" Patrice worried.

"You're cute when you're confused. You know that right?" he teased.

"I'm ready Daddy," Hannah said with a smile on her face. "Bye Mommy."

"Bye... Hannah," Patrice responded. She was trying to get used to her name as "Mommy."

Adam followed his daughter out the door. Patrice locked it behind them releasing a deep breath once more. As she turned to walk toward the kitchen, she heard the door reopen. Adam returned.

"What's wrong? Did you forget something?" she wondered.

"I almost did," he grinned.

Then he covered Patrice's lips with his. The warmth of his arms enveloped her. She rested her hands on her chest. Her knees buckled. Her pulse raced. If this was a dream, it certainly felt real in this tender moment.

One last peck to her lips and Adam said, "I love you."

She was mesmerized when he pulled away. All Patrice could do was nod. She was speechless. With that, he walked out the door. Patrice stood still for a moment, her lips still tingling. However, her romantic thoughts ceased when she heard the baby crying.

Chapter 9

Patrice scurried to Junior and hovered over his crib. His cries were screeching. What's wrong, she thought. She stroked the baby's cheek.

It did not ease him. Patrice carefully picked him up and sat in the nearby rocking chair. She slowly rocked back and forth. His crying persisted. What else can I do? She asked herself.

Then she stood and a thought crossed Patrice's mind. She lifted Junior and smelled his bottom. She was right. Oh no. Still, she carried the baby to the changing table. After placing him on his back, she rummaged for the supplies she needed.

Patrice returned with the baby wipes. Then she looked underneath the changing table and found the baby powder as well as fresh diapers. She searched for gloves too, but there were none in sight. Junior's cries continued. Patrice finally spotted gloves on a nearby dresser.

With all the supplies she needed, Patrice put on the gloves and proceeded to take off Junior's pajama pants. Once removed, she opened the dirty diaper. The site inside churned her insides, but she pressed through the task. Using three baby wipes, she wiped Junior's bottom clean.

Next was the baby powder. Unfortunately, Junior urinated. Just great. Patrice tried to cross his legs, but it was too late. Her shirt was wet. Her eyes scanned the infant, who giggled. Patrice bit back a smile of her own. She cleaned up the remaining mess, put baby powder on his bottom, but struggled to put on his diaper. She needed a second diaper because she put the first one on backward.

Once her diaper changing experience was over, she discarded the dirty gloves along with the dirty diapers. After thoroughly washing her hands, she changed Junior's clothes, grabbed one of his toys, and carried him to her bedroom. She then laid him on the bed, as she changed into a clean shirt.

Patrice then picked Junior and his toy up sauntered to the kitchen. She spotted a high chair in the corner and placed him in it. After giving him a bottle, she paced the kitchen floor.

"Well... what should we do first?" Patrice asked baby Junior. She noticed him gnawing at his bottle. Patrice could see four teeth in between his bites. "Oh my goodness." She beamed at the little boy. Then the phone rang.

Patrice contemplated whether to answer the phone or let it ring. She moseyed over to it. Since she did not recognize the number, she let it go to voicemail. In addition, she did not want to engage in a conversation with someone she didn't know. She had a difficult time already trying to adjust to her new environment. Talking with a stranger was not going to help.

Then she noticed two lists on the refrigerator. Beside them stood family pictures and attempted drawings by Hannah. Patrice perused the list.

1. Clean Hannah's room

2. Wash the clothes

3. Finish wrapping the presents

4. Cook dinner

Junior's gurgling filled the room as Patrice stared at the list. It seemed to be in her own handwriting. When she noticed the nearby calendar, it showed it was two weeks before Christmas. Her mind focused again on the list. Patrice sighed and looked at Junior.

"Okay baby boy, let's get to work," she said.

She picked him up from the high chair and walked back to his room. She knew she could not leave Junior while she worked, so she found his carrier. Once she found the vacuum cleaner in the nearby closet, Patrice started in Hannah's room. At first, she was reluctant, since she did not want to scare Junior. To her surprise, he loved the roaring noise as she vacuumed.

With that, she vacuumed all the bedrooms. When she decided to clean the bathrooms, Patrice put Junior back in his crib. Fortunately, he was already asleep, but she grabbed the baby monitor. She made sure the volume was high and kept it in her pocket. After finishing the bathrooms, she gathered the dirty clothes. She struggled locating the laundry room but eventually found it further down the hall.

Patrice separated the clothes and started her first load. With that going, she walked to the living room with wrapping paper for the Christmas gifts. As she rose to her feet, she sat on the couch and relaxed. A nap would've sufficed, but Junior's cry bellowed through the baby monitor. Patrice hurried to his room and found him on his back in tears. Then she extended her arms and picked him up.

"What's the matter now? When was the last time you ate?" Patrice asked in a motherly voice.

Wow, I didn't know I could do this. Her whispers soothed him, and to her surprise, Junior calmed down. He just wanted me to pick him up. She smiled at the notion. She kept strolling the nursery and kissed his baby cheek. "You're okay. It's okay."

Patrice brought Junior with her to the kitchen. "Let's get you another bottle." She saw another bottle already made in the refrigerator. She shook it up, put Junior back in the high chair, and gave it to him. This time he would not take it. Next, she pulled out a jar of baby food. She read the label: Chicken and vegetables. She wasn't convinced of the combination.

"You eat it mixed like this?" she wondered.

Junior clapped his hands. Patrice then retrieved a spoon and a towel and took a seat in front of him. She unscrewed the jar and fed Junior. After five minutes, he seemed satisfied. When he finished, she wiped his mouth with the towel. Once she found another toy for him from his room, she gave it to him. Her next task was the recipe for dinner. She rummaged the refrigerator for the ingredients, though she was nervous about cooking.

The first thing that needed to be cooked was the chicken. While Patrice cooked occasionally, this particular recipe was more involved. Here we go. She rinsed off the chicken, removed the fat. Next, she peeled the potatoes, washed the carrots, and tended to Junior when he needed her.

The dinner was not turning out the way she hoped, but she placed the chicken in the oven and continued. Then she chopped the potatoes and grabbed a medium sized pot to boil the water.

Still, she found it difficult to focus on. If Junior was not whimpering, she was dashing back and forth to the laundry room. As time went by, the phone kept ringing, only frustrating Patrice more. She did not feel like talking to anyone. When Junior whimpered again, Patrice picked him up and smelled his bottom. She changed his diaper, washed her hands, but grimaced when she smelled something burning. Patrice hurried with Junior in her arms.

Chapter 10

"Patrice... Patrice." A tap on her shoulder disturbed her slumber. Her eyes focused and noticed Adam standing over her. Patrice adjusted on the couch, careful not to wake Junior who snoozed on her chest.

Adam asked, "I saw what happened to dinner."

"Enjoy the pizza," Patrice mumbled.

He chuckled.

She shook her head in disapproval. "Don't do that."

"I know you tried," Adam replied. He carefully picked up Junior.

Patrice scratched her head. "You bet I did."

"I'll get Junior to bed."

He carried off sleeping Junior, and Patrice rubbed her tired eyes. It had truly been an eventful day. She eventually moseyed to the kitchen but rested her head on her forearms on top of the counter. She moaned when she felt strong hands caress her backside.

"Patrice, go to bed. I'll finish cleaning up."

She smiled at his kind gesture. "Everything's clean just put the box in the refrigerator."

She took his advice and strolled to their bedroom.

After slipping her feet out of her slippers, Patrice plopped on the bed. She heard Adam behind her and pulled the covers over her body. She rested on her backside, but her eyes remained open.

Patrice observed as Adam took off his shirt and loosened his tie. Her smile grew until he turned around. She quickly shut her eyes, hoping he didn't notice. Apparently, he did, since she felt the bed shift. He had to be sitting next to her. Patrice, however, kept her eyes closed until she felt his soft lips kissing her forehead. Knowing her grin gave her away, she opened her eyes.

"I thought you were sleep," he stated while stroking her hair.

"I'm too tired to go to sleep," Patrice joked.

"That bad?"

She shook her head. "Just... long. Very, very, long."

"You didn't have fun with Junior?"

"I had the best time changing his diapers," Patrice replied teasingly.

Adam shook his head at her.

"It was okay," she stated.

"How come you didn't answer when I called? I was letting you know we were going to be home late."

She mumbled, "I couldn't find my phone."

"You what?"

Patrice's eyes widened. "I mean... I was trying to feed Junior. I didn't really pay attention to who was calling me." She hoped she had redeemed herself, even though it was a lie.

Adam conceded. "I'll buy it for now."

He rose to his feet, but she held him back. With a gentle tug, he sat back down and hovered over her. Her hands rested on his shoulders. There was still a hint of the woodsy cologne on his body. Patrice loved the aroma.

"How was your day?" She asked. If only this wasn't a dream. She never wanted to wake up.

"Same as yours, but I didn't have to change diapers," he teased.

Patrice playfully hit his arm. Adam laughed, caught her hand, and lowered his face to hers. Her heart raced as their lips touched. It had been too long since they had kissed. What did all this mean? Was it merely a dream or something more? Though it had only been a day, Patrice was falling for him.

Adam finally pulled away, but she stroked his lips with her fingers. Even the silence between them didn't seem awkward. They stared at each other for a moment and then he kissed her again. Patrice could feel her heart melting like candle wax. One last peck to her mouth, he rose again to his feet and walked to the bathroom.

Patrice heard the shower running. Then she turned onto her right side and closed her eyes. She wanted to go to sleep but didn't want to ruin her dream. When Adam came out of the bathroom, she was still awake. He joined her in the bed and put his arm around her as he did that morning. Patrice rested in his embrace. Don't go away, she thought. Please don't go away.

Chapter 11

Patrice woke up the next morning fatigued from the previous day. As she slept, she hoped and prayed she was still with Adam. She loved sleeping next to him and feeling his arms around her during the night. When the alarm clock went off, she wished she were still in her dream. When Adam did not turn it off, she worried. She turned off the buzzer and rose up from her spot on the bed.

There was a dent in the pillow next to her. He's still here. Though exhaustion gripped her, she forced herself out of bed. She made her way to the bathroom to wash her face, hoping to wake herself up. Even though the bathroom door closed, Patrice did not think to knock.

Her eyes enlarged when she caught Adam standing in nothing but a towel around his waist. He was trimming his mustache. Based on the glistening of his skin, she assumed he just got out of the shower. Patrice stared. His muscular back, shoulders, and a six-packed stomach made her heart patter faster. When Adam cleared his throat, she came out of her trance.

"I'm sorry. I should have knocked," Patrice said, embarrassed that she was caught staring.

"You need the bathroom, Babe?" Adam asked as he rinsed off his razor.

Patrice gawked at him. "Huh?"

"Do you need the bathroom?" Adam repeated.

He wiped the remaining shaving cream from his face. The aroma of his body was fresh. Patrice inhaled deeply trying to take in as much as she could.

"No, I can wait. I'll let you finish." She swallowed hard. This can't be good.

Adam walked closer. Patrice's eyes followed as he passed by her out of the bathroom. He closed the door leaving her alone. She resumed brushing her teeth and washing her face. The cool water did nothing for the warmth inside her chest. When she finished, she looked and discovered him in their closet. His waist wrapped in his bath towel. She watched him pick out his suit.

"I get the feeling that you're checking me out," Adam pointed out. He stalked past her once again.

Stop daydreaming. "Don't be ridiculous. I was just... I mean I was about to... um...."

Adam shook his head. "If you say so."

"I wasn't doing anything."

"Really?" He stared back at her. "I see you're still not quite yourself this morning, huh?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, but couldn't deny the joke. "Don't start that again. It's not funny."

"If you could see how you've been acting lately, you might disagree."

"You keep thinking that."

"Okay Patrice," he conceded.

"Besides. Even if I was checking you out, you should take it as a compliment," she stated folding her arms.

Adam strode towards her. Patrice's tongue moistened her lips, though it did nothing to calm her nerves.

"Before we go any further with this conversation," he said. "Let's start this morning over. Good morning, Honey." He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Good morning," she breathed.

Adam kissed her and Patrice's brain turned to mush. Her heart swelled with joy, as she stroked his strong arms. How could she be this happy? Was it always supposed to be like this? When he pulled away, she gulped for her next breath.

"What about now?" he murmured.

How does he do that? "What about what?" Patrice wondered. She cradled her head, feeling a little dazed. Is the room spinning?

Adam chuckled as he broke their embrace. "Nothing Babe." He headed back to the bathroom.

Patrice cleared her throat as she sat on the bed. Her mind raced. Not only was she enjoying her time with Adam, she wondered how their first years of marriage were like. How did she handle the move to Tennessee? She bit her bottom lip contemplating if she should ask. Would he suspect or go along with it?

So far, Adam assumed she was playing a practical joke on him and thought nothing of it. Apparently, they had a healthy relationship, filled with trust and love. We always did. Patrice even liked the role of being a mother. Junior had won her over with his giggles and handclaps, and Hannah was sweet and cute as a button.

Still, Patrice worried. How long would this dream last? If her time with Adam was limited, she wanted to ask questions while she had the opportunity. She took a chance.

"How did you propose again?" she called out to him since the bathroom door was still open.

"You don't remember?"

"I do. I just want to hear you tell it," Patrice answered as she folded her arms.

Adam came out of the bathroom, still in his bath towel, and proceeded to the closet to get dressed. "You came over to my apartment, and I told you I was moving."

She coaxed him, "And..."

"Okay. I'll get to that part," he responded. "I asked you to come with me and marry me."

"What about my—" The moment was interrupted when she heard Junior crying. "Hold that thought. I'll be right back." She rose from her spot and ran to the baby's side. "What's wrong huh? You just woke up?"

Patrice noticed her motherly voice again. Thankfully, Junior stopped as she massaged his back. She smiled to herself and returned to the bedroom. Then she resumed her position on the bed with Junior on her lap. Now, Adam was on the phone.

"He can't change his mind now," he said.

Patrice waited patiently for him to end the phone call. Junior began to whimper. "You're okay sweetie."

Adam straightened his tie and put on his suit coat. Then he grabbed his briefcase. Patrice followed him with Junior to the kitchen.

Adam's conversation continued. "Look, Albert, you tell them we'll discuss it more in today's meeting. Alright?" He then grabbed his coffee mug. "We're not going to worry about that now, Albert. We'll talk about it at the meeting."

He locked eyes with Patrice.

"What am I supposed to do today?" she whispered.

"Grocery shopping."

Grocery shopping. Exciting. She kept her sarcasm to herself. This was what she was afraid of when he proposed to her in college. While being a stay-at-home mom seemed rewarding, Patrice loved the workforce. Did she really compromise for Adam? What did he say to change her mind? Or maybe I was really in love? "Are the kids coming with me?"

"They have to, Babe," he replied. He poured his coffee, grabbed his coat and briefcase, and headed for the door. He spoke into the phone, "I'm on my way right now. Make sure the forms are ready for me."

"I guess I'll see you later," Patrice murmured.

To her surprise, Adam returned and kissed Junior's forehead. Then he kissed her lips again, lingering for a few moments. Patrice swore she saw fireworks.

"I love you. I'll see you later," Adam whispered.

She stroked his face with her hand. Then he walked out the door. Patrice moseyed over to the window with Junior on her hip. She watched as Adam walked away. I obviously fell in love. "I love you too," she breathed.

Chapter 12

Patrice roamed the grocery store with Junior sitting in the cart and Hannah following close behind. The shopping list she had retrieved resembled her handwriting, even though she had no recollection of writing it. It seemed to take forever, but she managed to get everything on her list while keeping both children next to her. As Patrice waited to check out, Hannah tugged on her coat.

"Mommy, are we still going to Grandma's house?" Hannah inquired with a bright smile on her face.

"Sweetie, which grandma?" Patrice loaded the groceries on the conveyer belt.

"Daddy's mom, Mommy," Hannah replied handing Patrice the bag of lettuce.

"Oh, well where does Grandma live?" Patrice asked.

Hannah shrugged her shoulders and Patrice understood it, as she did not know. Patrice moaned as she paid the cashier. When they approached the SUV, she loaded the trunk with the grocery bags. Then she fastened Hannah and Junior in their car seats. After returning the shopping cart, she slid into the driver's seat.

"Are we still going, Mommy?" Hannah repeated.

Patrice considered the notion. "Honey, why don't we take the food home first? Then uh... Mommy can figure out how to get to Grandma's."

"Okay," Hannah replied. Her attention diverted out the window.

Patrice drove in silence since Junior and Hannah fell asleep. When she pulled into the driveway, she took the kids inside first. Afterward, she brought in the groceries. As she unpacked and put away the food, Patrice noticed the answering machine light blinking. She played the message.

"Hey Honey," Adam's voice greeted. "I forgot to tell you on my way out. My mom's expecting you to come over today. I'll text you the address since you can never remember how to get there." He chuckled. "Anyway, I'll see you later. Love you." The machine beeped.

Patrice tapped her fingers on the kitchen counter. I guess I'm going. After reloading the kids inside the car, she followed the directions from her phone to her mother-in-law's. Upon arrival, she beeped the horn. Mrs. Chambers came outside in her coat, greeting her with a smile.

"Oh my goodness! I thought you'd never make it here," Mrs. Chambers said cheerfully. "Let me help with these babies."

Patrice smiled when Mrs. Chambers hugged her. It had been a long time since she'd seen her. They both carried the kids inside, with Patrice holding Hannah and Mrs. Chambers carrying Junior and his diaper bag.

"I am so glad you're here, Patrice," Mrs. Chambers stated as she rocked Junior back and forth.

"It's good to see you too," Patrice responded smiling.

When Patrice first met Mrs. Chambers, she took to her very quickly. The gracefully aged woman was sweet, kind, and she loved her sons. Adam had a younger brother named Jake. As far as Patrice could remember, Jake loved music. He had a talent for the piano but also studied journalism. Adam's father, Mr. Chambers, owned his own furniture store and he provided well for his family. Patrice smiled as she recalled the first time Adam invited her to meet his family.

****

"So Patrice," Mr. Chambers asked over the dinner table. "What are you studying in school?"

Patrice smiled at Adam's father. They had invited her for one of their weekly Sunday dinners. After church, Adam told her they would always gather at their home for dinner. They were close-knitted.

"Well sir, I'm studying psychology," Patrice replied.

Adam held her hand underneath the table. She relaxed some at his sweet gesture.

"Psychology, that sounds good to me. That's good for you too, Adam. In case you go crazy, this woman can help you out," Mr. Chambers joked in response.

They laughed.

"Well, Mr. Chambers, he seems okay for now," Patrice replied jokingly.

Adam's dad chuckled.

"I must say, Patrice. You are the first girl Adam has ever brought home that he was serious about," Mrs. Chambers pointed out. "I didn't care too much for the others."

"Oh really?" Patrice answered, and then turned to review her boyfriend.

Adam faced his mother. "Now I'm in trouble."

"In my thirty years of being married," Mr. Chambers added, "I know one thing. Always keep the woman happy. Even if she's wrong, she's still right."

The family laughed again. Mrs. Chambers narrowed her eyes at her husband. He only winked back at her. Following the family dinner, Adam and Patrice walked hand in hand around the backyard. Once they came to an old swing set, they sat and swung back and forth. Patrice stroked his face with her hands and kissed him.

"Your family is really nice," she complimented.

"They seemed to like you too, at least for now," Adam teased.

Patrice playfully pushed him. "You think you're funny?"

Adam kept laughing and knelt in front of her. He cupped her cheek. "You just remember that right now, you're the girl I want."

Patrice wondered as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "What about tomorrow?"

"I'll tell you the same thing," he responded.

Overwhelmed by his tender declaration, she kissed him again.

****

Patrice blinked as Hannah moved in her lap. It seems so long ago. She stroked her daughter's pigtails and refocused on the conversation with Mrs. Chambers.

"The kids are getting so big. Hannah has so much energy," Mrs. Chambers said.

"I hope she didn't tire you out too much the other day," Patrice joked.

"She's only four. It's good for her to be moving around," Mrs. Chambers answered.

"I think I wore them out a little at the grocery store," Patrice added.

Junior stirred in his grandmother's arms.

"Well hello sweetie, did you have a good nap?" Mrs. Chambers asked. "Patrice, you take Hannah to one of the bedrooms. We can keep Junior in here with us. I was just about to bake a cake."

Patrice agreed and carried Hannah to a nearby bedroom. She kissed her little girl's forehead and returned to the kitchen.

"Have a seat, Honey," Mrs. Chambers advised her.

Junior rested on his grandmother's shoulder. Patrice slid onto one of the barstools. She let out a deep breath just Mrs. Chambers handed Junior back to her.

"Do you need any help?" Patrice wondered. "Then again, I'm not much of a cook."

"No, I just enjoy your company," Mrs. Chambers replied as she put on her apron.

Patrice cuddled Junior. Once again, she took in the pleasure of being a mother. Maybe it's not so bad after all.

"What kind of cake are you making?" she asked her mother-in-law.

"Red velvet cake. I'm going to freeze it once I'm through, so we can have it for Christmas dessert."

Patrice wondered, "Are we coming here for Christmas?"

"Yes, sweetheart. You and Adam decided to spend Thanksgiving with your family, and you spend Christmas here with us since you live closer."

Patrice nodded, deciding to change the subject. "I'm just curious about something, Mrs. Chambers—"

"You've been married to my son for seven years, Patrice. You can call me Mom," she interjected.

Patrice smiled. "Mom, how did you feel about Adam and me getting married?"

Junior yawned. Mrs. Chambers placed her cake bowl down. Patrice noticed her puzzled look.

"Where is this coming from, sweetie?"

Patrice shrugged her shoulders. Think of something, quick. "I'm just wondering. I know for a fact that the majority of mothers are very particular of whom their sons marry."

Mrs. Chambers answered smile, "Well, in that case, I couldn't have asked for a better daughter."

With that, she picked up her bowl and returned to her baking. Patrice beamed at her mother-in-law's heartfelt response. She kissed Junior's head as he played with her fingers.

Chapter 13

Patrice spent the afternoon visiting with Mrs. Chambers, and then she headed back home. As she pulled into the driveway, she noticed a Chevrolet Impala parked beside her. Patrice looked through her tinted window and saw Adam getting out of the car. His mouth was moving, so she assumed he was on the phone again.

She cut the SUV's engine, dreading for a moment the bitter winds outside. She had just warmed her backside with the seat warmer. When she noticed Hannah was awake, Patrice retrieved the little girl from her seat. At the sight of her father, Hannah squealed.

"Daddy! Daddy!" she beamed.

Adam smiled and scooped her up. Patrice relished in their father-daughter moment, as she carefully picked up Junior from his car seat. He was still asleep.

"Did you have fun with Mommy and Grandma?" Adam asked Hannah. She nodded and hugged his neck. Then he looked over at Patrice. "You guys have a good time?"

"Yes we did," Patrice answered walking towards the front door toting Junior in her arms along with his diaper bag.

Adam opened the door for all four of them. Patrice sat Junior in his playpen, while Hannah went directly to her room. Then Patrice strolled into the kitchen and investigated the refrigerator.

"I have no idea what we're eating. Maybe we all can share Junior's baby food," she said.

Adam replied. "Junior's custard is not that bad. Are you willing to share with me?"

Patrice playfully rolled her eyes. "Keep it up, Mr. Chambers."

"Since you've been with the kids all day, how about I take care of dinner. I'll cook so you can rest a while," he offered.

"Really?" she replied, resting her elbows on the kitchen counter.

"You sit down. I'll change clothes, and I'll make dinner. Alright?" he reassured her.

Patrice agreed and headed for the couch. She was asleep within mere minutes of her head hitting the pillow. All she could think about was her wedding. How did it go? Was she happy or nervous that day? Her imagination took over.

She envisioned herself wearing a beautiful white mermaid sweetheart, court train, and tulle laced wedding dress with beading sequins. Patrice visualized marching down the church aisle with her father. She would have celebrated the day with all her family and friends.

Next, she pictured clearly locking eyes with Adam. Then music flooded her ears and she smiled in her sleep. The gorgeous ambiance of their church wedding enveloped her. A wedding arch sat upright at the altar, as yellow roses decorated the sanctuary. Her sister would have been her matron of honor, and Jake would have been Adam's best man.

Patrice mouthed, "I do" as the minister asked if she took Adam to be her husband. Adam made his vow to her as well. As the minister stated, "you may kiss the bride" Patrice's heart raced anticipating the kiss, but her itchy nose disturbed her dream. She scratched away her annoyance but opened her eyes to find Hannah smiling. Patrice returned the sweet gesture. Adam stood over her as well.

"Dinner's ready, Mommy," Hannah said. "I asked Daddy if I could wake you up. He said I could."

"Oh he did," Patrice teased. Then she tickled Hannah, which caused little shrieks to escape the little girl's mouth.

"I didn't want your food to get cold," Adam added with a hint of coyness.

Patrice wrinkled her nose at him, kissed Hannah's little hands, and walked with her to the table.

"Has Junior eaten yet?" Patrice asked.

"Yes, he's eaten. Don't worry about anything," he reassured her.

Patrice massaged her temples. "How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour," Adam replied as he served Hannah her plate.

Patrice nodded in approval of the menu. There were macaroni and cheese, steamed mixed vegetables, and chicken strips. I did better ordering pizza.

"Looks good," she complimented.

Adam winked at her. Then he brought Patrice her plate and sat down.

"You're not eating?" she inquired.

"In a little bit; I just needed to sit down for a while. Now I know what you go through," he shared.

"It's not that bad, once you get the hang of it," Patrice admitted. I think I like it.

"You don't regret it do you?" he asked with a hint of seriousness in his tone.

Maybe I'll get some answers now. "Regret what?" she wondered.

"Giving up your job for the kids. You had your heart set on owning your own practice and helping people. I hope I didn't ruin your dream for you. Sometimes... I still wonder about that," Adam stated.

She pressed further, "I'm assuming... we've talked about this before."

He chuckled. "That's one reason why I love you. You never forget a thing." He continued. "I guess after Hannah was born, I was sure you were going to return to work, but you didn't. You wanted to try staying home with her."

"Well, you did want me to stay home. Right?" At least he got what he wanted.

He nodded. "I guess I finally realized that we have our own story. I admire my dad, but I'm not him." He looked at Patrice. "I wanted you to be happy, so if that meant working, I wanted to support you."

Patrice's heart melted. "So you were... willing to change?" I can't believe this. I walked away too soon.

"I'm not perfect. It took some time. Sometimes it still crosses my mind, but I wanted the decision to be yours. Whether you worked or stayed home, I wanted that to come from you," he added.

She stroked his cheek with her hand; she was speechless. The pieces to the puzzle were coming together. Adam had changed. He saw her love for a career and left the choice to her. It was liberating to hear.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Patrice was tongue-tied. If only this was real. Eventually she would reach out and find herself alone. Adam would not be there. He was marrying someone else. Just enjoy it now, she told herself.

Hannah interjected. "I'm finished, Daddy." She wiped her mouth with her napkin.

Adam turned his attention to her. "Okay baby girl, why don't you go get your pajamas."

Patrice chose to follow Hannah. In an hour, she had prepped Hannah for bed. After reading her a bedtime story, she kissed the little girl's forehead and wished her sweet dreams. She then peeked in Junior's room; he was still sound asleep.

Back in the kitchen, she discovered Adam cleaning. At the sight of her, he turned and pulled out champagne glasses. He retrieved two cans of lime soda from the refrigerator and then motioned for her to come closer. She did. He laced his fingers with hers, and they sat on the kitchen floor mat in front of the sink. They toasted their glasses and sipped their drinks.

"I could get used to this," Patrice commented.

"Me too," Adam replied.

Patrice rested her head on his shoulder. Her heart was still full from his admission earlier, but she wanted to know everything. "You never finished telling me your story."

"What story?"

"How you proposed and how we got married."

"You want the long version?"

She teased, "Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Alright. Where did I leave off?"

Patrice sighed recalling once more the painful night of their break up. "Did I say yes the first time?"

"No, you said no. When I chased you to the front door, you were crying. I asked you again, and you said yes," Adam answered.

"Did everything go smoothly?"

"We had a long talk the night before. We compromised—a lot. You were getting cold feet about it, but we encouraged each other. We knew we were doing the right thing."

"So how did we get back to Texas?"

He raised an eyebrow, but his grin gave him away. "You don't remember? Have I been that bad of a husband that you blocked those years out?"

Patrice giggled. "Indulge me. Please?"

He conceded, "Okay. Well... my job brought me back here. Plus, you were pregnant with Hannah, and we decided the move would be better for us."

Patrice nodded, but her voice tremored with the next question. "What if I didn't say yes and we broke up. What would you have done?"

He gave her a serious look. "I was hoping that wouldn't happen; I thought it would."

"You did?"

"I knew my old-fashioned ways didn't settle with you. I just wanted to take care of you. I wanted to show you that I loved you. That's all I saw my father do for my mother and I was proud. They were like a template I wanted to follow."

She looped her arm through his. "I know. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise. I just didn't want to..."

"What?" He urged her.

"Lose myself," she whispered. I ended up losing him though. I broke my own heart.

Adan continued, "Babe if you weren't ready, I would've tried to give you your space. I wanted you to be your own person."

Patrice returned his look. "Would you have waited for me?"

He took her hand. "Only if you wanted me too."

"Would you have moved on?"

"Patrice... what I feel for you is priceless. Even if something happened between us, I would always be in love with you," he confessed.

Patrice wallowed. If only this was true. Her next words spilled out like unrestrained waters. They'd always been there. Though she hadn't seen Adam in seven years, her true feelings remained dormant in the secret parts of her heart. She buried them in denial of it all, but here she was falling for him all over again. "I love you." I never stopped loving you.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

His lips covered hers, and Patrice's heart raced once again. His touch was tender as he cupped her cheek. Her heart called out to his. She wondered could he hear the thuds of her heartbeat. Were they really in harmony as husband and wife, even if it was only a dream? When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against hers. Patrice's breath hitched.

Then Adam rose to his feet. Patrice stood too completely dazed as he cleaned their glasses. When he extended his hand, she took it lovingly. At that moment, he scooped her up in his arms and Patrice shrieked in delight. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her down the hallway. As they approached the threshold of their bedroom, he carried her over bridegroom style. She knew she would remember that as she closed the door afterward.

Chapter 14

Patrice rested in Adam's arms, though sleep didn't come easy. The clock on the nightstand showed 11:30 pm. She knew the next morning was quickly approaching, so she attempted again to close her eyes.

Still, she worried how much longer she had with Adam and her kids. Never thought I would say that. She loved playtime with Hannah, Junior's smiles in the morning, and being with... Adam.

Then Adam shifted positions. Patrice gazed as the moonlight glowed off her face, but smiled when he caressed her cheek. She nuzzled closer to him.

"Can't sleep?" He murmured.

"Not really," Patrice replied.

"What time is it?"

"Almost midnight," she answered.

"Something on your mind?"

"Yes," Patrice answered.

"Like what?

"Us, the kids, our... life," she said truthfully.

"Just relax and try to go to sleep. We have a lot going on tomorrow night."

Patrice panicked. She didn't need any more surprises. "What's tomorrow night?"

"The Christmas party for my job, remember? You said you were coming with me right?"

I did. "I did?"

"Yes, Babe, you did."

"What about the kids?"

"They'll be with their grandparents; they're spending the night."

Patrice was still uneasy. "Are you sure about that Adam? I don't know about leaving—"

"They'll be fine. Besides, that means we'll have the whole evening to ourselves..." Adam's voice trailed off.

"What am I going to wear?" she asked. There was no answer. "Adam?" Patrice turned to find him asleep. She reached over and traced his mustache with her index finger. She didn't want to forget this moment. She wanted it etched in her memory like a photograph.

Patrice never wanted to leave him. All she wanted was their life together. In reality, however, Adam was with another woman. Don't think about that now. She shut her eyes once more. This time sleep came easier, but her dream was disturbing.

She was sitting in the back of a church. The building did not look familiar, but Patrice knew she was at a wedding. She didn't recognize the people assembled, but she knew the groom. Adam.

Patrice noticed by her attire, she was not the bride. Then the congregation stood up as the music played. They awed as the bride strolled down the aisle in her wedding dress, with "The Wedding March" playing in the background. Patrice stood stunned. She recognized the dress, the same mermaid dress she wore in her previous dream.

That's my dress. "No, I'm his wife!" She shouted.

Her feet glued to the floor, keeping her from running to Adam. She yelled again, but no one heard her. It was as if she didn't exist. It was no use. Tears trickled down her face as she watched.

"Adam! Adam no!" she hollered.

This time the crowd turned and acknowledged her. When the bride snapped her fingers, security guards escorted Patrice towards the door. Though she kicked and screamed, the guards didn't desist until she noticed Adam signaling them to release her.

She pleaded. "Adam, please don't do this."

"Patrice, what are you doing here?" he asked, clearly taken aback by her presence.

"Adam, what do you think you're doing?"

"Getting married."

She disagreed. "You can't."

"This is the wrong time to be doing this, Patrice."

"Listen to me. This whole thing is wrong. Don't marry her; you'll be making a big mistake."

"Why is that?" Adam inquired.

"You love me. You're supposed to be with me," Patrice whimpered.

"Patrice, it's over between us. Remember?" Adam replied. He took her hands in his.

Patrice continued. "It was a mistake. I should have said yes when you asked me to marry you. I was scared, but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Patrice—"

"Adam I love—"

"Patrice, but it's over. I've moved on. I'm sorry," Adam responded. He headed back to his bride.

Patrice gasped as her eyes popped open. Adam was still asleep beside her. She inched closer to him and exhaled deeply. It was only a dream, she thought, it was only a dream.

Chapter 15

Patrice hurried as she prepped Junior and Hannah for their grandparents. She packed Hannah's small duffle bag, being careful to include the little girl's favorite teddy bear. For Junior, she packed two bags. Then she showered them with kisses, not forgetting to share a sweet one with Adam. She gazed out the window for a moment but scurried to the phone when she heard it ring. It was her mother.

"How are you, Honey?" her mother greeted cheerfully.

"I'm okay. I have Adam's Christmas party tonight," Patrice explained. She sauntered to her bedroom to search through her closet. When she spotted a black halter cocktail dress, she figured it was for the evening.

"How are my beautiful grandchildren?" her mother inquired.

"They're fine Mom. Adam just left to take them to his parents' house. They're spending the night with them," Patrice answered.

"That's right you did tell me that. Sweetie, I wished you lived closer to us. I hate the fact I can't see my grandchildren every day."

Patrice sighed. "Mom, we just saw you for Thanksgiving." I hope I remembered that right.

"I know, but they grow up so fast. I just want to be around them more."

"I'm sure we'll be seeing you again soon." Patrice laid her dress across the bed and walked to retrieve the black stilettos, which were directly underneath the dress.

Her mother continued. "Alright, Patrice; I'll let it go for now. So how are you and Adam?"

Patrice grinned. She answered honestly, "We're fine Mom. As a matter of fact, I couldn't be happier."

"I'm glad to hear that. I love that my little girl is happy," her mother stated.

"Thanks, Mom. I hate to rush you off the phone, but with this party tonight—"

Her mother interjected. "Oh don't mind me. I'll talk to you later. Tell Adam I said hello. Kiss my babies."

"I love you, Mom," Patrice said.

"I love you too, Honey," her mother replied.

After ending the call, Patrice returned her cell to the nightstand and ran water for a bath. She clipped her hair and emerged her body in the warm water. She never felt so relaxed, and the whiff of her vanilla body wash enveloped her senses. Afterward, she dressed in her sweats and washed her face.

When the doorbell rang, she hurried to answer. Peeking through the window, she spotted a familiar face. Emma. Patrice quickly opened the door and embraced her old college friend, who was toting a carry-on bag.

"Okay girl; I got everything we need to do your hair and your makeup for the party tonight," Emma chatted. She marched to the living room.

Patrice followed her. "Emma, it's been a long time since I've seen you. How have you been?"

"You and your jokes. I told you I would help you get ready for tonight." Emma beamed.

Patrice ogled the items Emma brought: curling irons, a makeup bag, and a highlighting kit. She picked up the kit. "Emma, what's this for? I think my hair is—"

"You said you wanted highlights. Right? I thought light brown highlights would be perfect for you," Emma replied. She stood at the sink and washed her hands.

"You know what you're doing?" Patrice worried.

"How many times do I have to remind you? I'm a professional okay. By the time we're through, Adam will be here and you'll be ready to go," Emma answered.

"Okay. I'll take your word for it." Patrice descended into the chair. She shut her eyes as Emma combed her hair.

It felt like hours until Emma finished primping Patrice's hair and applying her makeup. Then she handed her a mirror. Patrice's eyes widened. Wow.

"So, what do you think?" Emma wondered.

Patrice covered her mouth. She loved it, especially the way her hair flowed with loose curls. The light brown softened her features, but also brought out Patrice's natural sultriness. Her soft tresses draped perfectly over her shoulders. She jumped to her feet and hugged Emma.

"I love it," Patrice grinned. "Wow, you're good."

"I keep telling you that," Emma joked, as she flipped her own jet-black hair.

The women laughed, but Patrice heard the door open and close. I'm not ready.

"Patrice, are you ready? We need to be leaving soon," Adam called out.

Patrice fidgeted at first, but Emma motioned her back to her bedroom. Next, she handed Emma Adam's suit for the party. Emma waved goodbye and Patrice quickly dressed. She didn't want to keep Adam waiting too long.

"The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave," he added.

Patrice fastened the straps on her shoes and entered the hall. She only saw the back of Adam's frame, but she knew he looked dashing in his suit. She paced herself, not wanting to rush the moment. She cleared her throat. "Well... what do you think?"

Adam faced her. His eyes lit up at the sight of her and he inched closer. Patrice's breath caught as he stroked her arms.

He murmured in her ear, "I don't know if I want to go with you looking like this."

She kissed his cheek. "I got dressed for a party, so we're going." She moved to the front closet for her coat. Then she waited for Adam as he retrieved his.

"Let's go," Adam smiled.

He took Patrice's hand and they strolled hand in hand to his Chevrolet Impala. After twenty minutes, the couple entered the building of Howard Advertising. Immediately, Adam's coworkers greeted them along with his boss, Mr. Howard. Adam presented Patrice to his boss, and she shook his hand with a smile.

"Patrice, it's good to see you again. You look beautiful tonight. Merry Christmas," Mr. Howard said.

"Thank you and Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Howard," she replied.

"Is Mrs. Howard going to be joining us?" Adam wondered. He wrapped his arm around Patrice's waist.

"She wanted to be here Adam, but she wasn't feeling well. It's this unpredictable weather," Mr. Howard responded. The band began to play a round of Christmas music. "Well, you two have fun."

Mr. Howard motioned for the couple to dance, so Adam led Patrice to the dance floor into the waltz. The smooth Christmas music filled the air, as Adam swept her across the floor. Patrice rested her hand on his shoulder, while he encircled her waist. Michael Buble's version of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas" washed over Patrice as she relished in her moment with Adam. For now, nothing else mattered.

When he cupped her cheek, she locked eyes with him. Her heart pattered with excitement. He leaned in to—

"Good evening Mr. Chambers, Merry Christmas," a man's voice called out. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Chambers."

"Merry Christmas," Patrice smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Albert. It's good to see you again Kimberly," Adam responded. He looked over at Patrice. "Honey, you remember Albert. Right? This is his fiancé, Kimberly."

Not really, she thought. Instead, she answered, "It's nice seeing you both."

"You too, Mr. Chambers. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Chambers," Kimberly added.

At that point, a woman tapped Kimberly on her shoulder. Patrice's eyes widened when she recognized... Danielle. Patrice quickly diverted her eyes to the seven-foot Christmas tree in the middle of the room. She further hoped no one noticed the look of disbelief on her face. She swallowed hard. This can't be happening. Is this how Adam met her?

Danielle declared, "Kimberly, don't leave me with a total stranger ever again. I don't know why I let you talk me into coming."

Kimberly looped her arm through Danielle's. "Mr. and Mrs. Chambers, this is my sister Danielle."

Adam shook Danielle's hand, while Patrice forced a smile. This must be how they met before.

"Nice to meet you, Danielle. This is my wife Patrice," Adam said.

Patrice was next to shake her hand. This is Adam's fiancé. "Merry Christmas."

"It's nice to meet you both." Danielle grinned. "I apologize if I seemed rude earlier, but my sister insists on setting me up."

"Well, if you would cooperate, we wouldn't have to," Kimberly pointed out.

Albert laughed at both of them. "If you two will excuse us."

With that Kimberly, Albert, and Danielle mingled back into the crowd. Patrice sighed. The truth was out. Even though Adam led her once more across the dance floor, her heart dropped with sadness. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, still taken aback.

The rest of the night went smoothly; Patrice even managed to enjoy the rest of the evening. Upon their arrival home, she quickly stepped out of her shoes. The heels of her feet thanked her as they relaxed against the cool hardwood floors. Patrice sighed with relief. Adam chuckled and returned both of their coats to the front closet.

"I knew I should've worn some comfortable shoes," Patrice complained.

Then she moseyed to the window for a moment. Fresh snow descended from the sky, covering the ground like a blanket. The world tucked away beneath the flurries. If only Patrice could say the same thing about her life. At any moment, the fantasy would disappear. She could faintly hear a clock ticking. Her time was ending. It would vanish any minute. Patrice gave a faint smile as she felt Adam's arms around her shoulders.

"Are you alright?" he whispered in her ear.

Patrice exhaled deeply, fighting back tears threatening to spill down her face. Her voice whimpered, "Yeah... I just need to work some things out."

He turned her around to face him. His eyebrows etched. "Patrice, what's wrong?"

She shook her head but wrapped her arms around his neck. "Nothing, just a lot on my mind. I'm fine Adam; let's just enjoy tonight."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I love you," he said sincerely.

Patrice smiled. "I love you too Adam. Please, don't forget that." I need you to remember that when this is over.

"Never," Adam whispered.

Then he kissed her. I love you, Adam, she thought, please remember that.

Chapter 16

When Patrice stirred the following morning, she was alone. She opened her eyes relieved that there was still a dent was in the pillow next to her. She buried her head in Adam's pillow, reveling in the scent of his woodsy cologne. It coursed through her body. Patrice rose up and detected the sound of the running shower.

Wanting to try again at cooking, Patrice dressed for the morning to prepare breakfast. I'm better at making breakfast, definitely. She served one plate and waited for Adam. He had to leave for work soon.

Patrice lifted herself to sit on top of the kitchen island. She sampled a piece of the bacon and swayed her feet in the air. She was truly happy and decided not to think about leaving anymore. Just then, Adam entered into the kitchen fully dressed toting his briefcase in one hand. He spotted the meal before him and smiled at her.

Patrice returned the gesture as he walked over. She offered him a piece of bacon. He took it happily, and the couple took turns feeding each other.

"Where's your plate?" he wondered.

She kissed his cheek. "You're eating it."

He sipped his coffee.

Patrice further explained, "I didn't know if you were in a rush, so I made enough just for you. I can make something else for me later." She put the last piece of bacon in her mouth.

Adam raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was for me."

"If I knew you were going to be this hungry, I would've made more," Patrice joked.

Adam chuckled and embraced her waist. She hugged his neck. Even though the silence encompassed them, it wasn't awkward. Patrice felt right in his arms.

"What time will you be home?" she asked.

"Around dinner time," he answered.

Adam retrieved his briefcase and his coat. He then held out his hand and Patrice walked him to the door. She stroked his arm as they walked with their fingers intertwined. When they made it to the foyer, he released her hand to put on his coat.

"I'm picking up the kids?" Patrice wondered.

"Not until later on this afternoon." He buttoned his coat.

"Have a great day. I love you."

"Thanks, Babe. I love you too." Adam kissed her lips once more.

She expected it to be a sweet peck on the lips, but it wasn't. Patrice enjoyed every moment of it as she hugged him tightly. One last kiss to her forehead and Adam walked out the door. As she locked the door after him, Patrice grinned.

Her cell ringing in her front pocket disrupted her thoughts. The voicemail beeped with a new message, so Patrice listened.

"Mrs. Chambers, this is Walter Perkins," the deep voice stated. "Just wanted to remind you about the staff meeting this afternoon. As you know we flooded out during hurricane season this past summer, but the repairs are finally finished to reopen our doors after Christmas. Again, we're so grateful to have you here as a new counselor at Hamilton Community Center."

Counselor? Patrice's eyes widened. How was that possible? She was a stay-at-home-mom. She bit her lower lip and redialed the number on her phone.

"Mr. Perkins?" she greeted. "This is Patrice Nel—Chambers." I have to get used to saying that.

"Mrs. Chambers, so glad you called me back. Did you get my message?"

"I did, but I just wanted to..." What do I say? I don't remember accepting the job. Did he say a new counselor? "I wanted to confirm the time for the meeting. I have to pick up my kids this afternoon."

"Oh sure; the meeting is set for one-thirty."

Patrice swallowed. I guess I can Google the address to Hamilton... whatever he said. Community Center? "That works out perfect. I don't have to get them until later on."

"Wonderful, Mrs. Chambers. We look forward to seeing you then."

She heard a beep, notifying Mr. Perkins had ended the call. She was a counselor at a community center. For how long? Why?

****

"Dinner was great," Adam complimented. He kissed Patrice's cheek as they washed and dried the dishes. The kids were already in bed for the night.

Patrice wondered should she tell Adam about her meeting. Apparently, she'd interviewed for a counseling position at Hamilton Community Center, a non-profit organization, during the summer. How would she know that? She was still adjusting to her new life. Mr. Perkins, an elder gentleman with white hair, welcomed her along with the rest of the staff. She scheduled to start after Christmas.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Everything okay, Babe?"

"Um... yeah. Everything's fine."

"Don't believe that. What's wrong?"

She shrugged her shoulders. How did she explain? Did she go behind his back and interview for the position? Would Adam support her? Had he really changed? "Well... I got a call today after you left for work."

"Anybody I know."

Just tell him. "Mr. Perkins, from the Hamilton Community Center."

Adam nodded. "So he did call back."

She dropped the dishtowel. "You knew?"

"Why wouldn't I? We tell each other everything. I knew you wanted to see if you could get the job, and it sounds like you did. I'm proud of you."

Patrice stood puzzled. "So... you're not upset that I may be working outside the home."

He draped an arm over her shoulder. "I told you before your interview, I want you to be happy. You love helping people; it's what you do. You said the hours were flexible, and Mom's already agreed to babysit Junior until we can find a permanent babysitter. I say go for it, Babe."

Patrice's breath hitched. Lost for words, she rested her head on his chest. "Thank you. Your support means everything to me."

"I love you," he whispered in her hair.

Patrice held him tighter, never wanting to let go. I wish I could stay.

Chapter 17

Christmas Day finally arrived, and Patrice basked in the time she shared with Adam's family. She and Mrs. Chambers talked and sampled the desserts while Adam, Mr. Chambers, and Jake watched the sports channel. Jake surprised everyone when he brought his new girlfriend, Naomi Peters, to the family event.

What surprised Patrice, even more, was how much time had passed. It was difficult to believe she was stuck in a fantasy because two months had passed. Waking up to Adam every morning was a joy. While there were times she felt exhausted, it was worth it when she saw the smiles on her children's faces. Patrice even found herself shedding a few tears when she took Hannah back to preschool, but her little girl turned and blew a kiss to her mother. Patrice blew one back.

At the Hamilton Community Center, she found herself connecting to her new patients. Patrice found her profession rewarding on a completely new level. Knowing she was bringing positive change in her community made her proud. The non-profit organization made a difference and grew since Patrice's arrival. She could have it all.

Patrice even found her rhythm as a full-time mom outside of work. Her mother-in-law cared for the baby when she was working, but Patrice still had a flexible schedule where work didn't take her away from her family. On her off days, after dropping Hannah off at school, Patrice cared for Junior, cleaned the house, ran errands, and even improved her cooking skills. This particular day when her cell rang, she answered to Emma's voice. After the invitation to lunch, Patrice dressed warmly along with Junior and headed out to meet her friend.

She ignored her churning stomach, assuming she had waited too long to eat. She welcomed lunch with Emma. She had been feeling queasy off and on for a while, but with her hectic lifestyle, Patrice thought nothing of it. She figured she just needed to take it easy for a while. However, with two kids and her new job, that seemed far-fetched.

Patrice greeted Emma with a hug at Hughes' Soup and Salad. With Junior secured in his stroller, the trio entered the restaurant. Once the women sat, they ordered their drinks. Patrice pressed one hand to her chest. The eerie feeling in her stomach returned. She wondered if she would vomit.

"Are you feeling alright, Patrice?" Emma asked apparently concerned.

Patrice noticed then her hand had moved to her stomach. "I'm fine. I think. I just felt a little nauseated."

Junior gnawed his pacifier and gurgled.

"Are you sure?" Emma continued.

"I'm fine; I promise," Patrice assured her.

Emma persisted. "Have you been feeling like this for a while?"

"I'd say off and on for the past few weeks, but I'm sure it's nothing. It could be my job catching up with me. Why?"

Emma furrowed her eyebrows.

Patrice wondered, "Emma... what are you thinking?"

"Have you been tired lately?"

"I have two kids under the age of five. What do you think?" Patrice teased.

"I'm just saying—"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Sounds to me like... you may be pregnant," Emma beamed.

Patrice choked, "I'm not pregnant." No way. I can't be... oh my...

"How do you know?" Emma asked.

"I just do."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm... pretty... sure." Patrice mulled the idea over. "At least, I don't think so."

"I have some time before heading back to my beauty shop. Why don't we stop by the store and get a few pregnancy tests," Emma offered.

Patrice agreed for Emma to accompany her to a convenient store. Emma suggested two pregnancy tests, but Patrice bought four. As they walked back to their cars, Emma hugged Patrice and kissed Junior's forehead while he slept in his stroller.

"Call me as soon as you know." Emma grinned. "This is so exciting."

"I will," Patrice replied nervously. This can't be happening.

****

After arriving home, Patrice placed Junior in his crib. She took the baby monitor with her to the bathroom along with all four pregnancy tests. She anxiously paced the bathroom floor. When she leaned her head against the wall, she slid down to the floor. Her eyes welled up with tears.

What if I am pregnant? She wrapped her arms around her stomach. It was too much. The life she was leading was not real. It grated on her day and night. The longer it lasted, the more painful it would be when it was over. One day the life she now loved would fade away. Even if she were pregnant, it wasn't real.

The timer alerted her that the results were complete. Patrice jumped to her feet. She examined all four pregnancy tests. They were all positive. Patrice covered her mouth in shock. Her thoughts raced. Why can't this be real, she thought, why can't this be real?

****

Patrice laced her fingers together as she sat watching the classic comedy film, "Pillow Talk." She was wearing an old short-sleeved t-shirt of Adam's, loving his manly scent as it surrounded her. He would be home soon, and she would tell him the news. She had decided to enjoy her final night with him. Patrice didn't know how she knew, but it was inevitable that she would be leaving.

She held back tears when she tucked the kids into bed one final time. Hannah hugged her neck tight, and Junior clapped his hands in excitement. She kissed his baby cheeks goodbye. She didn't try to explain to the kids her sadness, but only that she loved them. They were her babies.

"Hey," Adam said.

Patrice was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear him enter their bedroom. He was the last person she wanted to leave behind.

"Hey, Babe," she replied.

Adam carried a food tray. After rolling the computer chair over to his side of the bed, he sat down to eat.

"How was your day?" he asked in between bites.

"It was very... interesting," Patrice responded.

"What does that mean?" Adam wondered.

Patrice cleared her throat. "I had lunch with Emma, went to the store, picked up Hannah. The usual." She nibbled on her bottom lip.

"You sure that's all that happened?" Adam picked up his bottle of water.

Just tell him. "Adam, I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

Adam choked on his water. Patrice sprinted to his side and patted his back. "Are you okay?"

He nodded while covering his mouth. He moved his tray out of the way. "Say that again."

"I'm pregnant," she repeated.

Adam's eyes widened. "You sure, Babe?"

Patrice answered, "I took four pregnancy tests and they were all positive."

Adam caressed her stomach. "Wow, another baby."

Patrice clasped her hands on top of his. "I'm sure this is unexpected—"

"You got that right. What about your job?"

Patrice shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sure we can figure it out."

"Another baby," he murmured.

She wondered, "Are you happy?"

Adam met her gaze. His grin reached his eyes. "You bet I am."

He embraced Patrice and she held him tight in her arms. Then he brought his lips to hers.

"I love you, Adam," Patrice said in between kisses. I really do love you. I always will.

"I love you too, Patrice," Adam responded. He touched her stomach again. "You too little baby."

He moved his hand and gently rubbed Patrice's stomach. She giggled.

Chapter 18

Patrice wrestled in her sleep. She didn't want to wake up, but it was inescapable. Her time was up. When her eyes popped open, she found herself in her original spot on the floor. As she rose to her feet, she touched her stomach. I wish it were real.

She missed being a mother and taking care of Hannah and Junior. She listened intently around her but knew she wouldn't hear their sweet baby voices again. Hannah would never call her "Mommy." She wouldn't read her any more bedtime stories, cuddled together on Hannah's twin sized bed. Patrice had grown accustomed to her alternate life, but it was gone. Her heart plummeted at the thought.

Despite missing her children, she missed Adam. She relished in lying in his arms and waking up to him every morning. They remained crazy in love, even after seven years of marriage. She missed their talks at night and goodbye kisses in the morning. The way he would scoop her up in his arms warmed her heart. Patrice wiped the stray tear that escaped her eye. She knew she couldn't wallow on the floor. She needed to prepare for the new day—alone.

She dressed for work and proceeded to her office. The ride over was silent, since there were no children in the backseat. Her radio played regular R&B music, different from the "ABC" song she'd grown accustomed to in her dream. Upon her arrival at her office, Patrice listened to her clients as usual. She used her expert advice to give solutions to their problems, but Patrice was unsure how to fix her own. I'm still in love with Adam.

She still felt his tender touches to her cheek and his deep laugh when they would joke and kid. Patrice had no idea how well they had fit together. He had even changed for her. She didn't have to give up on her dreams; she just found a new one. Adam. He was it for her.

Patrice's unhappiness increased as the days passed. Of course, she loved her career. Her accomplishments were remarkable, but she missed having a family of her own. Their love would have made it all worthwhile.

The night before her trip back home, Patrice packed her luggage. She even remembered to set aside the Christmas gifts for her family. While rummaging through her drawer, Patrice found a crumpled piece of paper. As soon as she opened it, her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. It was a note from Adam.

Based on the date, he wrote it when he left school for a summer internship. They had been a couple for four months, and Patrice stayed behind on campus taking summer courses. At that moment, she sat on her bed. She imagined his baritone voice dictating the letter.

Dear Patrice,

It looks like I'm going to have to write to you while I'm here. The cell reception is terrible. I'm not even using a pay phone since you don't answer numbers you don't recognize lol :). I'm going to miss you while I'm out here, but I can understand you wanting to get ahead in your classes. Don't worry; six weeks will be over before you know it. I'll miss you like crazy starting right... now.

I'll write to you again before the weekend. I wish I could be there to tell you this in person, but I can't hold it in any longer. I was going to wait for a special occasion, but there's no time like the present right? I love you, Patrice. When I see you, I'll tell you again so you can hear me say it.

Love,

Adam

Patrice recalled the day she read the letter. Adam shocked her with his heartfelt admission. I can't believe I kept this. Her phone ringing startled her. She saw her sister's picture and answered.

"Hello." Patrice grabbed her tissue box.

Renee asked clearly concerned, "Sis, what's wrong?"

Patrice wiped her nose. "Nothing, what's up?"

"I was calling to tell you Kyle and I made it home already," her sister informed her.

"Is Robert there too?" Patrice inquired.

"Yeah, he, Yvette, and Leah made it in this morning. We're just waiting on you."

"I should be there tomorrow evening."

Renee pressed further, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Patrice shook her head. "I don't know what to do, Renee."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't stop thinking about Adam."

"Awe Patrice," Renee responded sympathetically.

"I'm still in love with him after all these years," she confessed.

"Then you should tell him."

"I can't do that to him. It wouldn't be right," Patrice protested.

"What wouldn't be right is you making the same mistake twice," Renee pointed out.

"I wouldn't know what to say to him."

"Just tell him the truth," Renee encouraged her.

Patrice took a deep breath. "Thanks, Renee."

"You're welcome. Do what you have to do. I'll see you when you get here," Renee said.

"I will. Love you," Patrice responded. She felt somewhat better.

"Love you too," Renee replied.

Chapter 19

Patrice knew her sister was right. The longer she avoided it, the more she would regret it later. What if this is my chance to make things right? She refused to make the same mistake twice. Even if he didn't feel the same way, she wanted to admit the truth. She owed him that much after the way things ended between them last time.

In between her appointments, she found Adam's advertising company online. She called his extension twice but was only able to reach his secretary. Patrice finally resolved to meet him at his office.

After she closed her office doors for the Christmas holiday, she made the trip to Adam's building. Her heart thudded in her ears, once cleared by his secretary to wait in his office. Patrice's palms sweated as she clasped her hands together. She didn't know where to start. How was she supposed to tell him? Should she share her dream with him?

"Patrice, what are you doing here? You didn't have to come to my job. We could've met for lunch or something," Adam said.

Patrice stood and turned, greeted by his warm smile. He embraced and kissed her ear as usual. Once again, his cologne mesmerized her senses. She cleared her throat.

"I was on my way to my parents' house, but I thought I would stop by before leaving." She attempted to remain calm, but all she wanted was to kiss him. She held back, despite her jumbled nerves. I don't know if I can do this.

He responded, "Your parents must be really excited about you coming home."

"They are," Patrice responded. She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the heat of her skin. "Adam, I need to tell you something."

"Is something wrong?" Adam wondered. "Do you need something?"

"I... I mean... I need some advice." Don't chicken out now.

Adam sat in the chair next to her. "What's up?"

"Do you think that if... a woman who left her boyfriend seven years ago... can still be in love with him? He's getting married to another woman, but is it possible for him... to still be in love with her too?" Patrice asked nervously. She laced her fingers back and forth. She felt like a prisoner awaiting a sentence from a judge.

Adam's shoulders drooped. His smile vanished from his eyes. He shook his head as if in disbelief and leaned back in his seat.

"Don't do this, Patrice," he stated. Her words clearly didn't move him.

Patrice continued despite the emotions building inside her. "I know my timing is off—way off. It's been seven years and we haven't talked in all that time. I know I shouldn't put this on you before your wedding, but I had to—"

"You're right. It is bad timing. I'm getting married Patrice," he protested. He jumped to his feet, noticeably irritated by their conversation.

Why is he so upset? "I know, Adam. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt you, but I couldn't hold on to this any longer. The thought has been in my mind for a while. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had said—"

"Just stop, Patrice! Stop it!" he proclaimed.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Adam. I just needed to tell you that... I'm still in love with you."

Adam's eyes narrowed at her. "You've got some nerve you know that? How can you just come in here and pull a stunt like this?"

She agreed. "You're right; it's been too long. I should have told you sooner. When you proposed to me, I was scared. I didn't want to lose myself trying to be who you wanted me to be. I broke your heart and mine too. I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave knowing my feelings and not tell you."

He still looked upset. "So what do you want me to do?"

Patrice's heart dropped. Still, she kept her voice from wavering. She didn't want to cry in front of Adam. "You don't have to do anything. I'm not asking you to leave Danielle and be with me. I want to but I can't. I just wanted you to know I still love you. Whether you're with me or not... I want you to be happy."

Adam's shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what to tell you, Patrice."

She stood to her feet. Patrice then pulled out his letter she'd read and placed it on his desk. She turned to leave but had one more question.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, Patrice. I love Danielle," Adam replied.

Patrice nodded and her bottom lip quivered. "Have a great wedding day, Adam. Merry Christmas."

She hurried out the door holding back her tears. They were on the brim, but she refused to cry. She proceeded with her travel plans and had a cab drop her off at the airport.

Once she boarded the plane, Patrice felt tears escaping. She hid them as best she could, not wanting anyone asking her questions. She decided to visit the restroom and fix her makeup. Once she returned to her seat, she rested her head against the headrest. She slept for the rest of the flight.

Chapter 20

Patrice treasured her time with her family for Christmas. Her niece Leah leaped for joy upon her arrival. Patrice even reveled in spending time with her brother, Robert. A game of dominos with the men brought many laughs, which included her brother-in-law and her father.

Getting out of bed on Christmas Eve was difficult, for she knew it was Adam's wedding day. Nonetheless, she ignored her own problems and enjoyed her last night with her family. Time went by so fast, and before Patrice knew it, her parents dropped her off at the airport. She promised to visit more often.

Once again, she slept on the plane. The announcement from the flight attendant that they were landing shortly, however, woke her. After landing, Patrice retrieved her luggage at baggage claim and had a cab escort her back home.

It didn't feel like home as she walked through the entrance. People weren't there to greet her or tell her how much they'd missed her. Patrice spent most of the evening unpacking her things. She then decided to skip dinner and retire to bed early.

****

For the next few weeks, Patrice welcomed the New Year. She had gained two new patients and found her schedule becoming more demanding. It was the middle of January and she could hardly believe it. Adam crossed her mind often. She wondered if was happy. He had to since he and Danielle were married. She accepted his decision. If she's what he wants, then good for him.

After a hard day's work, Patrice left the office-bound for home. Usually, she would stay and plan for the following day, but she wanted to take down her Christmas decorations. She instructed Holly to lock up and headed for the elevators.

Listening to the radio on the way home irritated Patrice. Every station seemed to play a "love song." She turned to others but found no such luck. She chose to ride in silence, but her thoughts of Adam only shouted louder.

Finally, Patrice pulled into her driveway. When she spotted an unfamiliar car beside her, she spied out her window. Her eyes widened. Someone was sitting on her front porch. Fear gripped her chest. Was it a neighbor? She didn't know but grabbed her cell in case she needed to phone the police. Calm down; not everybody is a criminal.

She exited her Chevy Cruze. The lump in her throat increased but she pressed forward. As she got closer, she gasped. Adam? While he met her gaze, they didn't speak. Patrice passed him and unlocked her front door. He followed her inside.

They took off their coats and continued to her living room. Adam removed his gloves and placed them on the arm of her couch. Patrice then turned on her gas fireplace. The silence between them remained.

"Do you want something to drink? I can make some tea," Patrice suggested.

He nodded in apparent agreement. Patrice moseyed into her kitchen and prepared two cups of tea. Five minutes later, she rejoined Adam in her living room. He was twiddling his thumbs and noticeably staring into space. She handed him his cup and their fingers lightly brushed. Patrice denied the sensation but took her seat on the love seat opposite of Adam.

"What kind of tea is this?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Chamomile," Patrice informed him.

He nodded and took another sip. When he set his cup on the coffee table in front of him, Patrice did the same with hers.

"Did you have fun with your family?" he wondered.

"I did," she answered. "Thanks for asking."

Silence once again enveloped the room, but not for long.

"I've been doing some thinking," Adam said.

Patrice wondered. "About what?"

"About everything, about what you said especially," he responded. Patrice could feel the palms of her hands sweating.

"I'm sorry about that, Adam. I didn't mean—"

"Just stop Patrice," he interrupted. "You said what you had to say. It's time for me to say my piece, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed

He cleared his throat. "Patrice, that stunt you pulled a few weeks ago wasn't cool at all. I haven't seen or heard from you in seven years. We meet up. I introduced you to Danielle, and you leave. Then all of a sudden, you tell me you're still in love with me. What am I supposed to think? You hurt me in college, but I decided to let you go because I thought it was what you wanted."

Patrice didn't respond. She didn't want to rock the boat, but she wondered why he came. Just listen.

"Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? My friends would set me up with women constantly, but all I could do was compare them to... you," he declared.

Patrice's feelings were on the brink of spilling over. In times like these, she would advise a patient to listen. However, on the other side of the spectrum, she wrestled to keep quiet. She was on the edge of her seat, literally.

Chapter 21

All Patrice wanted was to be in Adam's arms. Flashbacks of her vivid dream ran through her mind. As she gazed into his eyes, she saw their children. The family they'd created was beautiful, but it wasn't real. Patrice's heart wrenched missing Hannah, Junior, and... their unborn child.

"Then when I saw you at the restaurant," Adam continued, "I had flashbacks too."

She raised an eyebrow. "You did?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He sprung to his feet and paced the hardwood floor.

Patrice swallowed hard.

Adam proceeded. His tone wasn't as intense. "When I saw you, I thought... why didn't I fight harder to convince that girl to marry me? I wasn't going force you to be with me. I didn't want you resenting me later."

She reassured him, "I wouldn't have. I know that now," Patrice reassured him.

Adam still didn't look convinced. "Do you?" he asked sharply.

Her eyes narrowed at him. She jumped to her feet. "Why are you snapping at me?"

He argued. "I have every right to snap at you, Patrice! Do you realize how much you hurt me?"

"I know! How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" Patrice shouted.

"Until I believe you!" Adam exclaimed.

"If you came here just to make me feel worse than I already do, then why don't you just—"

Adam covered her lips with his. She wanted to push him away. Her own anger boiled, but she welcomed the kiss instead.

Patrice nearly melted in his arms but managed to stay on her feet. Adam seemed to release all his frustration through their kiss. She heard so much in their silence. His arms encircled her waist as she hugged his neck.

Then he picked her off the floor. Her feet dangled in the air as her lips pressed to his. As her heart fluttered in her chest, Adam broke the kiss and set her back on her feet. He leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. Patrice gasped for air only to hear him chuckle.

"What about your wife?" she breathed. She couldn't believe herself. She didn't plan to kiss him, but he caught her off guard. She was lost in his touch. What am I doing?

"Patrice... I'm not married," Adam corrected her.

Her eyes widened as she stepped away from him. "I don't believe you."

Adam showed her his left hand. He wasn't wearing a ring. I didn't even notice.

"I didn't marry Danielle," Adam stated.

Patrice remained in disbelief. She reminded him, "I thought you said you loved her."

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Adam commented. His smile gave him away. He then shook his head, put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper.

"As it turns out, I'm still in love with my old girlfriend." His smile grew. "I forgot I wrote you this letter. After reading it... I knew I couldn't go through with the wedding," he explained.

Patrice returned to her couch. Her thoughts raced. Adam sat beside her.

"How did Danielle take the news?" she wondered. She hated being responsible for their break-up.

"Danielle was feeling pressured by her parents to settle down. She wasn't ready to get married. She wanted to call it off anyway and focus on her career at her father's company," Adam shared with her.

"I'm sorry."

"I understood. In a way, it reminded me of you. Danielle didn't want to lose her dream trying to please her family. It was us all over again, and I didn't want to repeat past mistakes. Her decision to call if off only confirmed the feelings I still have for you."

Patrice's gut wrenched with guilt. She wanted to be happy that Adam was here with her, but hated the way everything unfolded. "I want to ask what about us but—"

"What about us?" Adam smiled.

She playfully hit his arm. He laughed.

"Adam Chambers!" Patrice squealed.

He replied, "I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I know what I want. I've known for a long time. I want you, Patrice. I should've found you sooner."

"I'm so sorry, Adam," Patrice apologized, "maybe if I—"

"Patrice we're past that okay," he said. "What we need to decide, is can we build something from here. Sure we're different people now, but this," he gestured between them, "is still here."

"I'd like to try."

He agreed, "Me too."

She asked. "Can you forgive me, Adam?"

"I already have Patrice," he replied, sincerity evident in his voice.

Patrice pressed her forehead against his. "I love you."

"I love you too," he responded. He kissed her again.

"Is it too late to say Happy New Year?" She mumbled in between his kisses.

Adam chuckled. "No, Happy New Year."

Patrice cupped his face and kissed him once more, never wanting the moment to end.

###

Thank you for taking the time to read my book! If you enjoyed My What if Christmas Wish, please take the opportunity to leave a review at one of your favorite retailers.

Best Regards,

Daria

About the Author

Daria is an upcoming author who began writing as a teenager. She is addicted to romance novels, but thought why not write them too. She graduated with a degree in health care management, so writing was not in the cards for her. It's rare that you won't catch her reading. Aside from that, she loves Hallmark/Hallmark Movies and Mysteries, Pilates, and chocolate.

Thank You from Daria

I really appreciate you taking the time to read my book. It means more than you'll ever know. If you're wondering why I chose to republish this story, the answer is, I've grown as a writer. Writers always want to put their best work out to the public, and while I'm not an expert, I wanted to polish this story. I still have a lot to learn, and I welcome the challenge of stretching my skills to get even better.

When I first started writing, it was only meant for me. I had absolutely no intention to publish. However, after some encouragement from my family, I decided to take a risk. Surprisingly, I found that people wanted more of my stories. They liked it. I said, really? LOL. So, I intend to write more for the public to enjoy.

Thank you readers! Again, if you enjoyed this story, please take a few minutes to leave a review. It truly helps other readers to decide if they want to read an author's work or not. I look forward to sharing the next story with you.

God Bless,

Daria

Shout Outs!

Ebook Cover Design by Tatiana at www.viladesign.net

