[Somber Organ Music plays] [A door is opened]
Kyle: Yeah, they're superheroes, but...
They've been having some identity problems lately.
They've just been all dark and moody and -
Ah, speaking of, I am at home now, so I'll talk to you later.
Hey, guys!
Shouldn't you be out, uh, fighting crime, or something?
Who would we be fighting?
Who are the REAL criminals?
The people commiting crimes.
Come on. Brighten up. Have some fun.
You've been moping around a lot lately.
Ethan: I remember the last time that I had fun.
And then...
The accident. [suspenseful note begins to play]
Hey! No flashbacks!
You had a semi-traumatic experience, like, 16 years ago.
Just, think about something else for even a few minutes.
Life is difficult for us.
Living with this weight on our shoulders.
You can fly.
Ethan: Exactly.
What does he have to complain about?
He's adored.
Looked up to for inspiration.
Me, nobody understands my curse.
You spontaneously generate balloons!
How long until I hurt someone?
It amazes me you can even find negatives with this.
Ethan: So many children in need of party favors, yet...
...I cannot help them all.
Matthew: If I even TRY to rescue someone,
I'm afraid that the sheer G-FORCE of my flight will LIQUIFY their organs.
Stop. Stop! Stop trying to do that!
Kyle: Your powers are scientifically impossible.
Stop trying to make them make sense.
You only look more wrong later.
For your information, I have the ability to manipulate gravitons.
It all makes perfect sense if you're intimately familiar with quantum field theory.
And also not too picky about it.
My hands fell into a vat of radioactive liquid helium.
What?
You think you understand my pain?
Matthew: It's the burden of anomalies like ourselves
We endure the pain so that the true heroes never have to.
You're not anomalies!
Or, mutants. Or gifted. You're superheroes!
You know? Go wear some brightly colored spandex!
Give yourselves catchy, obvious names and yell puns at criminals.
Just smile, once in a while.
People expect it from you. They would prefer it...in fact.
Dressing like an American flag and punching somebody wearing a ski mask is WAY cooler than this angsty brooding.
It's getting very hard to brag about you guys being my roommates.
I suppose I can design a new unform.
Costume.
That would be great.
You should definitely do that.
[Snaps finger] I have an excellent trenchcoat.
NO! No coats!
Or, leather, or normal person clothes.
Or dirt. Anywhere.
And don't tell me that you have some carbon fiber armor that is both lightweight and impenetrable that the military somehow doesn't know about.
Just get something brightly colored and put an emblem on the front of it so the people can identify you.
As..."Awesome Man"!
This only looks like an "A".
This is the symbol of my people.
Okay, well, here, it's an "A" so either own it or change it.
Ethan: I'm a monster.
