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## SNEEK SNEAK PEEK

JERKINS

This morning could not come any earlier for him; he had felt restless all night only falling asleep for about two hours before he bolted up awake again. Almost losing Linda had made him realize just how stupid he had been in keeping up with a sham of engagement. Actually he had realized it before and broken it off and was looking for a way to apologize to Linda when he got the phone call.

He could not forget that moment it was as if his heart dropped to his shoes when he had the news and all the way to the hospital he was chanting, please let her be okay.

God had answered his prayers and he was not going to lose her again, not ever even if he had to tie her to his side. That was why not spending the night by her side did not bode well with him but he needed to come up with a strategy on how to tell her how he felt. After screwing up a simple I love you was not going to cut it, he had to do it big and convince her to take a chance on him.

His first alarm rang and he was off the bed, first visiting hours were at eight and if he hurried he would be there thirty minutes early. Maybe he could charm the nurses with his celebrity status to let him see her before her family got there. What he had to do was best done in private.

For some unknown reason he was not surprised to meet Ken by the elevators, they were all in the same hotel. They did not speak just nodded at each other as they got into the elevator and pressed the ground button. They kept the same silence all the way to the hospital and Ken even stopped with him when he purchased some flowers.

He appreciated the effort he was making to accommodate him even if they did not voice it.

When they got to the hospital door he turned to Ken, "Buy me five minutes." He did not know if it would work but he had to give sneaking in a shot.

"Five minutes," Ken said as he stalked off to go charm the nurse on duty.

He even managed to sneak past the desk guard who was busy dozing off and he made it to the room Linda was assigned. As he opened the door he smiled, he felt good about this, and this was the beginning of their love story. The door swung open and the first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty.

No, this could not be happening. He closed the door again to recheck the room number; yeah he had the correct room. He heard a whimper that seemed like a hurt dog nearby as a sob wrenched from deep within, the only reason the room would be empty...

No, no, he could not finish that thought, she was fine. She had to be fine, they had forever together.

He did not even hear the footsteps coming up behind him as Ken approached saying, "Hey buddy your five minutes are up.

He turned around, he was sure he looked like someone shell shocked.

"Empty," he whispered hoarsely then blankness just embraced him and he was out.

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## CHAPTER ONE

"Do not go out there!" Linda shouted at the television show as she watched someone go out into the darkness.

What was wrong with people? She thought as paused the movie to go get more popcorn. You hear a noise outside late at night you do not prattle down the stair with your bat to go check it out. You jump out the window and run like the devils hounds are after you.

She sighed when she realized that she had finished all the popcorns and had to make a new batch. So much for finishing this movie before her brother and guardian got home, she thought with a sigh as she headed for the kitchen.

They were due back by four and it was already three thirty yet she was just half an hour into the movie. Not good.

She looked forward to her brother and guardian coming back and she loved them dearly but she still treasured this moments when she was alone to indulge her obsession with movies. She was currently watching Criminal Minds and the latest season was just as good as advertised, even better.

She lit the cooker and placed the saucepan with popcorns and oil on it and covered it, giving it time to pop she jumped onto the kitchen island to wait. Her eyes caught onto the photo of her, Ken and their mother that was placed just above the fridge, they looked so happy. She tried to remember that day but she was about two at the time all she remembered was eating too much ice cream and sweats she ended up throwing up all evening as her mother soothed her.

Those were her mother's better days.

As a kid she did not understand how her mum could be happy and playing with her one moment then angry at her the next moment. Now she understood that her mother was sick and she just felt sad that no one was there to help her. No one was there to help them.

They had not met their guardian Mrs. Iffy until after their mother passed away and the dreadful day they had ran away to sleep in an abandoned house. She was the one who had been abused but she was sure Ken still carried the guilt with him.

Her, she just tried to bury it so far deep and not think about it. Mrs. Iffy had done right by them, helping them build a normal life and happy memories that buried the sad one's they had. With time they ended up blending with other kids, going to school, Ken had even graduated to be a lawyer and she was joining Medical school the next semester. Yet making friends had been so hard, so they stuck with each other, closer than most siblings.

She knew the statistics of her developing her mother's disease when she hit her twenties so she had vowed not to have kids. No way was she putting her kids through what she had been through. She was going to be a doctor and heal other people. Make a difference in other people's life then die and old spinster with seven cats that would probably eat her when she died.

The smell of popcorns burning jolted her out of her funk and she jumped from the counter to go rescue them. She managed to rescue a bowl full and by the time she was done cleaning up, she had only five minutes to four. If she hurried up she could catch the last few minutes of the movie before they arrived.

With that resolution she hurried out of the kitchen into the kitchen, at the corridor she turned to close the door. The next thing she knew someone was shouting, "Boo" right behind her.

Heart beating, shaking and frightened out of her skin she screamed as the popcorns went flying.

## CHAPTER TWO

"Ken you scared the shit out of me." She said as she hit him lightly on the shoulder.

He laughed, "That was kind of the point."

She rolled her eyes at him as she went back for a broom, "Mean brothers."

He was still laughing, "Yah I am your only brother. Anyway I have good news for you."

She ran back from the kitchen holding the broom, she liked surprises and Ken gave the best ones' "Tell me Tell me."

"Relax it's nothing major, I just wanted to take you out tomorrow to Hotel Kims to show you how I am such a great brother."

Kims Hotel had been around since the seventies as an international hotel and until recently they did not have a branch in Kenya. They had just launched a new hotel last week and she had been dying to visit it

"Wow that is awesome, sure you can afford it?" Ken had just started practicing as a lawyer and she was afraid he might be stretching out his savings because he knew how much she loved the hotel.

He was the one who rolled her eyes at her this time, "Have a little faith sis," when he saw the worry in her eyes, "a client was very generous today and I feel like spoiling my little sister, that cannot be so wrong."

He kissed her fore head, "Let me go get out of this monkey suit." Then he headed for his bedroom.

She was sweeping up the popcorns when Mrs. Iffy came in carrying shopping bags filled with groceries. She let the broom down to go hug her, when she went to help her carry the bags she was shooed away.

"What happened here?" Mrs. Iffy asked smiling.

"Ken," she answered as she picked the broom.

Mrs. Iffy shouted to be heard in the bedroom, "Boy grow up."

Ken shouted back, "She started it."

Laughing Mrs. Iffy went to the kitchen.

Linda smiled as she picked up the spilled popcorns and went to throw it away with a dustpan. She went back to the sitting room and tried to finish the episode before Ken finished dressing. She was not so lucky; two minutes later he kidnapped her so they could go for a walk in the park. He said it was not good for her to seat in front of the screen all day, she did not see a problem with it.

Brothers.

## CHAPTER THREE

The next morning Linda woke up bright and early to do some shopping for a dress and some shoes. She wanted to wear a light green dress that would blend well with the green she had seen in all the photos of the hotel, she did not have one that fit the level of Kims Hotel. It had been a while since her brother took her out anywhere and she wanted to make an impression. KIMS was not just a place she walked in old clothes or sweat pants.

"Mum where are you?" Linda shouted from the sitting room when she got back.

There was a reply from the kitchen, "I'm here."

Then a short plump woman with her hair pulled back in a strict bun came out of the kitchen. The hairstyle seemed to elaborate her soft round cheeks that were dotted with a smile. It had taken her a year to call Mrs. Iffy mum but now it sounded right.

"Where are you from dear at this hour?"

"I woke up early this morning to do some little shopping."

"Come in and have some breakfast."

"Thank you, but I think I'll have a shower first."

She then headed for the opposite direction and Mrs. Iffy turned to head back to the kitchen.

Before she got to the bedroom she turned around abruptly and asked, "Do you know where Ken is?"

"He is in his room."

***

When they were both ready they shouted their goodbyes to Mrs. Iffy as they made their way out. Since Linda did not have a car yet they had to take Ken's.

"With this old thing I do not think they will let us in," She joked as she got in after he opened the door for her. Half joked the car was pretty old; he had it since high school and refused to replace it.

"Yah this baby still runs fine," was his excuse every time the topic was brought up.

Smirking as he got into the car, "Yah right like they are going to turn away all this charm."

"More like jam than charm," she threw back.

That is how they bickered for an hour jumping from one topic to another, until they got there. Mrs. Iffy always said together they were like kids but it worked for them.

When they got there they stopped talking and just took it all in. it was beautiful.

A green stretch of land cover, marked only by a few trees and a fountain of water in the middle. The water flowing from the fountain made an arch of the late president. The area was surrounded by green Cyprus trees that were neatly trimmed which had a wooden gate on the farthest left side. Cutting across the field was a pavement that marked the way to the wooden gate.

On the pavement, Linda and Ken walked slowly down the stretch. Linda in a light green sundress and white sandals, hair left to fall on the shoulders and a shiny glittering diamond necklace. Ken was in black dress pants, a white T-shirt, black shoes and gold coated watch.

They took one step at a time simultaneously and seemed to be in sync, colors blending. When they got to the other side of the gate, their eyes were met with more beauty.

On each side of the pavement were beautiful flowers planted in a systematic pattern to form the name KIMS. The rows of yellow and purple flowers formed an acute mix of colors that made the place seem like a second heaven. The small wooden cabin at the end of the stretch housed the hotel, was painted a beautiful sky blue. Everything together seemed like a beautiful picture on a museum wall.

The sight made her breath catch for a moment.

"I know it's beautiful," Ken said with a smile, taking her hand in his.

Looking up at him eyes almost glistering, "Thanks for bringing me here."

They had gotten to the hotel door, "Then let's take our seats."

As they walked into the hotel she hesitated for a moment, "Why don't we have a picnic?"

"I know I said we would have a picnic but why don't we enjoy seating in here a while then we can have lunch outside."

"It's okay."

They got in. the hotel was bigger and wider on the inside than when someone saw it from outside. Decorated in pink, white and blue ribbons which kept swaying from side to side to fulfill the wish of the wind. The area near the walls was raised a bit leaving a small sunken square in the middle. On the raised part chairs and tables were arranged for four people each and the square middle part left had two softly cushioned couches, two table tennis tables and another one for pool.

Linda and Ken were ushered to seats on the raised parts by a waitress who left after taking their drink orders.

"I bet it's beautiful to be up here, no matter how many times you come here," Linda said.

"Can you guess why I choose this particular place at this particular time?" he asked with his famous cheeky smile.

"Because it is beautiful?"

"I know there is another reason."

She frowned, "To meet a new girlfriend of yours."

"No the reverse."

Before they said anymore the waitress brought their drinks.

As soon as the waitress left Linda asked, "What do you mean by the reverse?"

Ken pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and placed it o the table before Linda. She gave one glance at it and exclaimed.

"What!"

## CHAPTER FOUR

Excitement bubbled through her and joy seemed to be her soul bearer.

Breathlessly, "Did he make it?"

Ken smiling said, "Yes he is seated o the seat right behind me."

She looked past Ken and Jerkins sat there his back facing her. He was smartly dressed in a blue T-shirt on which was inscribed the word LOVELY and a dark blue denim jeans. He was bent over studying his menu. As if noticing that someone was looking at him he looked back and their eyes met, locked. Almost electrically charges seemed to be flowing between them. Electricity. Linda smiled and he only waved. Bet he was used to all the attention from fans.

When his companion looked around him to see who he was waving at, Linda's smile elapsed. It was his beautiful fiancé. The joy and excitement that had lit up her face disappeared. Dropping her eyes she pretended to be reading the menu.

Ken noticing the change in her mood asked, "What is it Linda."

"Can we go out to the fields for our picnic now?"

"We have not finished our drinks."

"Then let's carry our drinks with us."

She started the way and Ken followed. Her mind was not concentrating on the walking and as she made her way down the steps she missed a step, slid and fell. The drink she was carrying poured on her dress. It was red wine.

Ken was the one who held her up so she did not fall to the ground. By then everyone was watching the commotion. A few of the waiters came over to help but Ken assured them that everything was under control. They left with Linda's face buried on his shoulder until they made it outside.

When they finally made it outside she lifted her head from his shoulder and said with a smile, "That was a close call."

"I thought you were crying," Ken said sounding amazed.

"Why should I? I admit that was embarrassing," she said looking down at her dress, "And I do not know how I will get home, but such things happen."

"I have a suggestion why don't you go and get cleaned up a bit in one of the hotel's bathroom at the back, am sure there are towels there, I will go hunt down some clothes for you."

"I can't go back through that hotel," she protested.

"There is another way we can use."

"Then let's go."

After making sure she had gotten to the bathroom okay he left. She finished bathing before he came back so she decided to play a game of counting the number of tiles in the toilet and bathroom. The tiles were a combination of green and grey which seemed to be in contrast with the white walls.

The game got boring as time went by with no Ken yet so she got curious. Tip-toeing she stood by the door and peeped outside, their appeared to be no one around. All she saw was the very green field of grass and a swing near the edge. When she was sure no one was watching she made her way to the swing and took a seat.

Setting the swing to pace, she closed her eyes and felt the soft breeze on her face and she sang the song o f her favorite musician. Her pulse beat in tune to the beats of the song. Her mind ran with the words and rhythm of the song. The swing raised and lowered to suit her pace.

She dissolved into it.

She lived and willed freely with the song.

She let it out.

She let it fly.

She only stopped when she realized she was not singing alone. Her heart beating, her mind refusing to believe, she turned and came face to face with Jerkins. Their eyes met and there was that spark again that shot right between them.

"Sorry for interrupting, but I was at the gents toilet and when I heard you sing I was drawn to your voice. You sing rather beautifully."

"Tha..n..ks." Great the greatest musician of all time compliments her on her singing and she could not even finish a word. Realizing she was only in a towel she stood up as gracefully as she could, "Sorry I think I have to get back inside."

Then she turned and ran for the bathroom. She was in such a hurry she did not hear him shout, "Wait."

## CHAPTER FIVE

It was a sunny day so Linda had pulled back all the window curtains and opened the window, the breeze cool from the soft wind. She was in blue jeans tyra shorts and a light blue shirt with bare feet. Her hair was braided. She was collecting the cloths strewn all over the chairs and putting them in a basket. In the silence surrounding, her voice could be heard rising and falling emotionally as she sang.

They had a bad habit of throwing dirty clothes all over so she was just collecting them.

She was still taking the cloths from the sitting room when the front door opened and Ken got in. since she was facing the door she spotted him as soon as he walked in.

Turning, "How was your day?"

"It was tiresome but am fine," he said as Linda helped him remove his coat.

"It is a good time for you to come back home, I want to go to the market and get some food."

"I have a letter for you," Ken said waving an envelope around.

"Let me take these clothes to the bathroom I will be back."

She left briefly and came back with her face and hands washed. He held it out to her and she tore it open. She then removed the letter inside and read through it.

"Wow! Ken can you believe it, it's a reply to my application to the University. I have been accepted."

She was jumping up and down, and then hugged Ken fiercely.

"Congratulations."

Releasing him she started boosting, "Can you imagine I am going to be a doctor? I am going to treat people." They high fived.

"I have changed my mind; I am not going to the market anymore how about we have dinner at Hail's Hotel."

"Glamorous. Leave the plans to me."

"I can't wait."

"Then go and keep yourself busy it's about five o'clock."

She smacked him jokingly on the shoulder, "You know just the right buttons to push."

Within an hour Linda had made a quick ran to the salon to get her hair done and bought a new dress for dinner. The next hour she used it to take a shower and prepare herself for the day. Mrs. Iffy came back at around six thirty from work and was happy for Linda; she also joined in the preparation.

At seven o'clock, as the sun was setting, they left for the hotel in Ken's car.

The Hail hotel was a big hotel in the outskirts of town which gave them a lot of landscape. They decided to take the seats out on the deck; whether the mosquitoes but enjoy the view of the sun setting. The different shades of orange it cast across the darkening sky were awesome. Bright bulbs lit the deck giving them enough light to enjoy each other company.

After they were seated the waitress took their drink orders.

"It has been a while since I came here," Linda said her gaze travelling all around as if recollecting memories. They used to come here on their birthdays with their parents to celebrate, and since this was a big moment it felt right to celebrate it here. It was like if she celebrated it here her parents would somehow be with them.

"Yeah, very long."

The waiter brought them their drink orders and took the order for meals.

Linda and Mrs. Iffy both had fish and _ugali_ , a traditional meal while Ken had _ugali_ and roasted meat with a side of vegetables. They then had some ice cream for dessert.

"I think am never going to move from here ever again," Mrs. Iffy said rubbing her tummy.

"Why?"  
"I am to full to move ever again. I just feel like sleeping right here," She said yawning and they all laughed.

"Anyway Linda, thanks for giving us something to celebrate about," Ken said.

"It was just by luck."

"Yes, it was luck and hard work. To get into Chimgan University is not easy," Ken said.

"When you get there Linda work hard and make us proud." Mrs. Iffy added.

"Of course I will make you all proud."

They all held hands and bowed their heads for prayers.  
For Linda's well being.

For her safety.

For their lives and for her journey.

## CHAPTER SIX

That month she had been busy with registering for her courses and some shopping for what she needed. By the day of departure quoting Ken "she had a boatload of crap". Each time she brought something new he would say, "I went to college with the clothes on my back." She would answer "yah I am not you." It was not like he did not want her to get stuff he just wanted to piss her off. Most of the time she thought it was his hobby to make her mad.

"I'm done," Ken shouted from outside, it was early morning and he had just put her last suitcase in the blue sports car they had bought her as a surprise last week and closed the boot. The car was second hand but it still had some mileage in it and she loved it.

Mrs. Iffy and Linda came out of the house and Linda was in black skirt suit and a stiletto. Mrs. Iffy had a sand brown suit that was articulately designed and did not wash her out.

Mrs. Iffy and Ken took his land rover and she drove her sports car and they travelled the two hours to the university. When they got into the compound, they found some parking at the back of the administration block. They met outside after they took the keys out of the ignition and locked the door after them.

"Sometimes driving is very tiring," Ken said stretching himself out; since she was still in the honeymoon phase with her car she did not mind much.

"Let's go and check in before we get your things," Mrs. iffy suggested.

Since today was the first day there were a lot of students around, both old and new students milling around. She was curious as they passed the different blocks and tried to find her class but since she could not see any she decided to get a better look after Ken and Mrs. Iffy left. By the time they finished checking in it was noon already.

"Let's go and have some lunch first and then we can come back and get you settled in," Ken proposed.

"We do not know anywhere around here. I read in the pamphlet they gave us that there is a hotel in here."

"Do you know where it is located?"

"We can ask around," she said looking around that was when she noticed a woman in uniform doing some cleaning. "Let me ask her?"

"Excuse me ma'am good afternoon."

"Good afternoon. Can I help you?"

"Is there a hotel in here?"

"Yes, if you want to get there, just take this route straight and then turn left. It will be right ahead of you."

"Okay thanks a lot."

Linda signaled for Ken and Mrs. Iffy to follow her.

When they spotted the hotel they were shocked they had expected a small hotel yet this was big enough to be commercial. They had lunch in silence as they felt their time to separate was drawing near. It hurt.

After lunch they went to see Linda's room, number fourteen, it was a beautiful bed sitter with a small kitchen a bathroom and a carpet décor that separated sitting room and bedroom.

"We can now get my things," Linda said with mixed feelings of both excitement and fear.

They brought her things and helped her place them and arranged it with everything in its place. Mrs. Iffy made sure she was settled in before she had to tell them farewell. Linda took them up to the parking lot and courageously told them goodbye as she knew she would be allowed to see them again.

She went back to her room, threw herself on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

She had a flashback on that night after the farewell party, when they had gotten home Mrs. Iffy had gone directly to bed leaving ken and Linda in the sitting room alone. Ken had switched on the radio, put on a slow tune and held out his hand to her, "Come let's dance."

He had held her softly, turned her around to the tune and made her feel the magic in the music, then slowly and slowly made her heart fill with joy. When the music ended he held her still and swayed her slowly.

He whispered in her ears, "You'll be away from me. I'll miss you Linda. I'll pray for you every day and every chance I get I will visit you. Just work hard you are a champion, my champion. I know we shall both have good lives.

Tears she had been trying to hold back sprang and ran down her cheeks.

"Don't cry Linda. We have to face each day as it comes. We can face all the challenges and overcome." He said with a catch in his voice that betrayed just how much he was holding himself back from crying. Trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks, "Be strong. Be firm." He whispered then just hugged her so hard she was afraid he would not let her go.

She held on to him too, he was her stronghold since their parents died. She did not remember a day they had ever been apart since the day they were told their mother's car had crashed.

She still did not know how she was going to make it every day without seeing him every day.

## CHAPTER SEVEN

The chirping of the birds and the coolness welcomed the bright morning. Linda was sprawled on the bed still in yesterday's attire and dead asleep. Marks of tears were still on her cheeks. She slowly rose and looked around, confused with the environment at first. Stunned by her new surroundings she quickly sat up and tried to pull back memories from yesterday. When it finally hit her that she was in her room in school she released a sigh of relief.

Quickly she got off the bedroom and made her way to the bathroom to clean up. She came out thirty minutes later in her bathrobe.

She went through her suitcase and finally settled on a white skirt and a blue T-shirt and soon she was out of the room to go and get some breakfast. She ordered her breakfast of fresh mango juice and a sandwich and as she waited for it to be delivered she texted Ken.

Linda; _Hey brother you up yet?_

Her food was just delivered when she heard her phone ping with an incoming message;

Ken; _Yah am up on my way to court. Love you sis have a good first day_.

Linda; _Love you more._

She missed him so much but she was going to make it through it. She never had many friends since what happened with her parents but she was determined now to be more open and make new friends. Meet new people so that she could come out of her shell.

After she tucked her phone away she had her breakfast then made her way outside for a tour of the campus as she did not have her first class until the next day. The corridors were busy as people left the lecture rooms.

She was also delighted to realize that there was an on campus museum just behind the administrative block. What's more there was a swimming pool that she had a great view of from her room. She quickly ran back to change into shorts then she just went and sat besides the pool with her feet in the water.

She was so lost in her own thoughts she did not hear someone stand behind her until a voice said, "Like it here?"

She almost jumped into the pool.

Turning back quickly, she came face to face with a beautiful girl smiling down at her. She was tall and slim in a model kind of way with wavy thick black hair. She just radiated beauty and vibrancy.

"Yes...very much," she answered once she calmed her heartbeat down enough to speak.

"I am Carla Wesley," the girl said stretching out her hand.

The name rung a bell and she stood up so fast she almost toppled into the pool again.

"You are Jerkins sister," Linda stated, mesmerized and amazed.

"Yes I am," she answered taking her hand back.

"Sorry, it is just did not expect to meet you here," she said stretching out her hand which Carla took.

"Ha-ha most people do not expect it; I like your honesty I feel like we are going to be good friends. I have to go now I was just heading to my room and thought I would say hi see you around," and she was gone just like that. Linda was left standing there and squealing like a little girl.

Being in the same school with Jerkins sister was amazing and it was probably the closest she could ever come to knowing him.

With excitement she called Ken; to hell with court this was more important.

Of course he did not pick up but she left him a squealing message and he called her back in the evening.

## CHAPTER EIGHT

The next day Carla sought out Linda to apologize for being in such a hurry the previous day. Linda and Carla's relationship grew strong with time strengthened by the fact that they had so much in common including the fact that they were both pre-med students. By two weeks they were best of friends and talked to each other about everything, with Carla who was in second year helping her with her assignments.

She had also made a few other friends from her class but some girls were hostile to her because they wanted to be friends with Carla but did not get the chance.

That evening while Carla and Linda were in Linda's room studying for an upcoming exam Ken called. They talked everyday and it was not unusual for him to call at this hour.

Cheerfully; "Hello," she answered. "What have you been up to?"

He faked a yawn and deliberately faked tiredness, "guess what, I am just from napping."

She tried to seem stern, "You have become lazy since I left home, let me not find you that way when I get back."

He laughed, "Yes sir."

They talked for a while then he said, "Guess what I just got a free weekend and am thinking of coming to visit you."

"Serious!"

"Yah I am serious."

She could almost feel him grinning from the other end, "Don't make me jump."

"Just jump, can I count as you jump?"

She laughed, "Stupid do not. Anyway I can't wait to see you again, when are you coming?"

"I will be coming the day after tomorrow, which is on Friday."

"I wish it was tomorrow. I can't wait to see you, I really miss you."

With a sigh, "I miss you too, see you Friday."

"Bye, will you call tonight?"

"Obviously I will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Carla can you imagine my brother is coming on Tuesday."

"Wow I think we should make it special."

"Yeah I want it to be special," she said as her eyes glistering tears and excitement. "I really do miss him."

"I know I also miss my brother."

Over the past few days they had come to know each other better and realized how much they treasured their brothers.

***

Around ten o'clock on Friday found Linda waiting for Ken in the parking lot and a few seconds later a white four wheel drive drew into the parking lot. Before the car was even properly packed Ken got out and Linda was enveloped into his arms. They held each other tightly as they felt what they had not felt for long and missed so much. Brotherly love.

"Ooh Ken I missed you so much," Linda said as she pulled back then hugged him again.

"I missed you too Linda," Ken mumbled into her ears.

When at last they drew apart they both exclaimed, "You've grown." Then they laughed.

After a while Ken said, "Let's go then I'll bring you back before night."

She went around to the passenger seat and got in, he got into the driver's side tightened the seat belt and they drove off.

They drove around for hours with no particular destination, just talking and laughing, filling each other in on new developments in life. He told her about how strong his relationship with Natasha was growing. She did not like Natasha most of the time she came of like an entitled bitch, she had tried to reserve her feelings hoping the relationship would die down apparently she was wrong.

"I am happy for you Ken, but do you want someone who does not love your sister?"

Throwing a glance at her he sighed, "I do not know what to do. I'm a little bit confused, I want to end my relationship with her but since you left she is my only consolation."

Taking her hand into his and squeezing it a little he said, "It just gets lonely sometimes, you know I will never replace you in my life Linda. After what we have gone through together....." the rest was left to drift in their minds.

## CHAPTER NINE

Linda's phone rang when they were on their way back to the university and she picked up, the mood in the car had improved greatly they had even gone for lunch then shopping and window shopping.

"Hello."

"Hello, it's me Carla, where are you it's about six o'clock and I am getting worried."

"Sorry, we stayed late. We are on the way back you can wait for me in the parking lot in about ten minutes I will be there."

"I will be waiting, bye."

"Bye."

She disconnected the call.

"That was Carla."

"She's concerned; it's good you have someone who looks out for you."

"Yeah and I also care about her."

They had talked about Carla and she had told him about how they first met and all the things they had done together so far. They had even bought her a dress when they were out shopping.

In about eight minutes Ken brought the car to a stop in the parking lot and Carla was already waiting.

She was tall slim and gorgeous every day but in her short black skirt, white tank top and Steve Madden Jaylen wedge sandal she looked dashing.

For sometime Ken just stared at her and when Carla saw them she stood for sometime just looking at him. For a moment Linda saw some reaction and then immediately Ken was in control again. Intresting.

He got out of the car and Linda followed.

"Ken I want you to meet my friend Carla and Carla meet my brother Ken," she introduced them.

They greeted each other and it was there again, but just for a second.

"Let's get our things off the boot, Carla do you mind helping."

"No, let's go."

Ken opened the boot and they started unloading. Linda was taking things up to their hostel room as Ken and Carla unloaded. Carla who seemed preoccupied by images of Ken dropped something by mistake.

Ken and Carla both reached to pick it up simultaneously and then stood up slowly holding it in their hands but it was not their concentration. They were looking at each other. Linda who had come to get more things stopped and watched. The third time.

Really interesting.

"Ooh sorry," Carla was the first to break their gaze, and she resumed unloading like nothing had happened. Ken stood for some time and when he noticed his sister watching he made himself busy again.

Linda had to stop herself from laughing.

All done they closed the boot and then Ken bid them goodbye and then hugged Linda before he was off. Linda started narrating to Carla how they had spent their day.

"Guess what we bought for you Carla," Linda asked as they unpacked.

She lifted the dress from the box, it was a pink dress, sleeveless and flawless.

"Wow!" Carla exclaimed, eyes shining, "All for me."

"Yah thou I am sure you have better one's than this."

"I do but none of them are from you."

Excited, "Then come and try it on."

"You are such a good friend," Carla said as she hugged her.

## CHAPTER TEN

A week later, Carla and Linda were free on the weekend and decided to visit the Cassville Mall a few kilometers from the university. They went in Linda's sports car and when they got their Cassville Mall was full; figured since it was a Saturday. Getting their handbags from the back seat they secured the car and marched straight for the supermarket. Pushing a trolley each they made their way through the alleys picking what they needed. They then packed their trolleys at the foot of the stairs and headed upstairs to check out the magazines, novels and books.

They were exclaiming over the latest Women's Health when someone called Linda from right behind them.

Then almost immediately someone called out Carla's name.

They both turned simultaneously and behind them stood Ken and right behind him was Jerkins. They were surprised for sometimes then they both moved to give their brothers a hug, "How are you Ken? What are you doing here?"

Ken laughed, "Which question should I answer first?"

"The how are you question followed by the question on what you are doing here," she answered grinning.

"I am fine and I came do some shopping."

Wrinkling her nose something was not right, "You do not like shopping."

"I was wandering about looking for something to buy for Natasha."

"I can see Natasha has an effect on you."

With a careless shrug he said, "Now that I have found you I can lure you to help me."

"What about Carla?" Linda threw a backward glance at Carla and Ken and saw them looking at where they were standing.

"We can always come back, give her time to catch up with his brother."

"Okay let's say hae first."

They turned to greet Carla and Jerkins who were chatting and the first person her gaze fell on was Jerkins. He looked hot today in black jeans and dark blue top inscribed "GOT YOU". She let her eyes roam for a second just taking in how good he looked and when their eyes met he had a smirk like he knew she had been checking him out. She blushed.

Almost subconsciously she stretched out her hand in greeting trying to keep herself from fainting from excitement. He enveloped her hand in his and a sensation she was not familiar with shot through her body startling her. He then grinned at her and she almost swooned. They had met before but for some reason they did not want to explain to their siblings how.

"Hi," she said simply.

"Hi how are you?"

"I am fine."

"You are friend to my sister?"

"Yeah I am a good friend."

"That's nice. It's good to know my sister has someone as loving as you for a friend."

Loving, the word rung in her head and inside she was dancing a jig.

Slowly she nodded, "She's also a loving friend."

Releasing her hand from his she said, "It's good to meet again but I have to run now."

"Where are you rushing off to? I thought maybe we'd have a nice chat over a drink."

Flattering a little, "That's nice but I gave to take my brother somewhere."

"Okay then I'll wait."

Flashing him a smile she said, "You don't have to." Yet her heart she was saying, "Please do not agree with me."

"I want to wait for you."

"Okay thanks."

Shrugging, "it's no big deal."

She turned to find Ken waiting for her. As Ken greeted Jerkins and they exchanged a few words Linda explained to Carla that she was taking her brother to buy something and they would be back soon.

As they walked away they both seemed lost in thought and only came back to reality when one of the attendants pointed out that they were headed to the manager's office. They looked at each other guiltily and smiled then politely thanked the attendant and started back for the main floor. When they were sure they were away from the attendant's sight they started laughing.

"What were we thinking?" Ken asked her mid laugh.

"I can only answer for myself," she said lifting her hand in mock surrender, "I was thinking of Jerkins."

He laughed and then his smile disappeared and his face was covered with worry. With a sigh he turned away from her and looked out through the window.

Placing her had on his shoulder she asked, "What is wrong Ken?"

Still looking away from her he said, "I love Natasha but I have fallen for Carla. I think it was love at first sight."

After a few minutes of silence, "what are you going to do about it?'

A few minutes later he turned to look at her, "let fate take its toll."

"Fate can be...."

He cut her short, "Do I have a choice," he said shrugging his shoulders. Taking her hand in his, "let's get back to what brought us here."

They walked around for some time and ended up buying Natasha a blue Cinderella sun dress that was knee length.

## CHAPTER ELEVEN

The lights above were gleaming and every part of the hotel was evenly lit; they made their way to the table Jerkins had reserved with just a phone call. When they got there the guys pulled the seat back for the girls before they took a seat themselves.

A waiter dressed in a white dress shirt and black skirt arrived promptly to take their orders. They all placed their orders of fruit cocktails as they waited for the food order to be prepared.

Few minutes later they were sipping their drinks through strained conversation as the tension was visible.

"Excuse me," Jerkins said after a few minutes standing up. Eyes were on him until he disappeared.

Few minutes later he came back and said to Linda, "May I have a word for a second."

Linda looked hesitantly at Ken who nodded.

"Okay," she said as she got up.

Jerkins lead the way; she followed her heart beating; to the opposite side of the restaurant to a table reserved for two.

Pulling back a chair for her, "Please have a seat."

"What about...." She started asking but he cut her short.

"Don't worry about them, just seat."

Releasing a sigh she sat and looked for Ken and Carla who were not in their original table. They had been seated at a table for two just about two tables behind them. Far enough that they could talk freely but close enough they could look out for each other.

Looking back she saw Jerkins was already seated and was looking at what she had been looking at.

"Pretty cleaver," she commented as she sat down.

"I needed to be alone with you. When we were together we were not really very free."

The waiter brought over their dinner order.

"Can you tell me about yourself," Jerkins asked after the waiter left.

"What about myself?"

"Anything about what you like, what you adore, what you love. As long as it is you I will listen.

"I have so much about me. You'll come to know me better as time goes by." She said looking over her drink at him and noticed he had been looking at her.

She actually could not analyze her feelings or explain how she felt.

She thought he was handsome, intelligent and adorable. She wanted to love him; he had been her idol since she was a teenager. She had fallen in love with him in newspapers, in television; now that he was actually here she could not analyze her feelings for him.

She felt an intense excitement and this strong impulse to fall for him, the urgent need to love him. That coupled with the strong need to have him all to herself.

She was lost in her thoughts. Her mind wandering. She...

"... So what do you think of it?" His question jolted her from her stupor.

"Uummh."

"The moon shinning outside seems to be providing magnificent light, energy and heat. It seems to be glowing. Vibrating."

She turned to look outside through the window, it was a full moon and the light was reflected everywhere. Spreading through the dark sky. Lighting up the night. She felt it calling.

"Can we go outside?" It was a whispered request from her.

Slowly he stood up and stretched out his hand towards her. She took it into hers and with their entangled hands swinging between them they made their way for the door. Due to the fact that Jerkins was a celebrity and they made a perfect match, they attracted many peoples attention which they ignored.

Outside they walked on the grass their eyes fixed on the moon as if they were drawing energy from it with each step. When the stopped he stood behind her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

She felt at ease, secure. Then Jerkins started singing softly. Caught up with the song she joined in and together they sang:

I wish I could hold you in my hands

I wish I could promise you my love

I wish I could have you forever

You are like an angel in my life

You are like a snatcher of my heart

You are all I ever need

_All my life...  
_

## CHAPTER TWELVE

Back at the university.

For the remaining two weeks to exams both Linda and Carla were busy preparing for the oncoming exams. On the eve of the exams they both received two cards from both Ken and Jerkins. Although they still talked everyday exam become their priority cutting on their hanging out time.

On the day of the exams, Linda woke up early and went through her work for the last time. At six o'clock she went to take a shower, the prepared her breakfast of some toast and coffee. By around seven o'clock she was ready to leave so she picked up her phone and dialed Ken's phone number.

"He..ll..o," he answered in a sluggish voice.

"Wake up sleepy."

"I'm up," he said yawning.

She laughed then she said, "I want you to wish me good luck."

"I wanted to do exactly that when I wake up so do me a favor cut the call."

"Why?"

"Just do what I say."

She did and a minute later her phone rang and she picked it up.

"I wish you good luck baby sister and I know you are going to make it. You will pass with flying colors do not panic am sure you are well prepare. Take courage you are a successor and be strong because you are the pillar of my life," Ken said.

There were a few minutes of silence.

"I..." She started saying but was cut short.

"How did it sound?" He asked.

"Uummh, I can say fair trial."

"Ouch that is underrating," he said with mock anger and she laughed.

"Anyway on a serious note, it was encouraging and I liked it."

"Thanks. Linda I want you to pass this exam. I promise you a present if you pass them."

"Yeey, what is the present?"

"You will know after you pass."

"Please tell me, it will encourage me more if I know what it is."

"Do not make me hang up on you," he threatened and she just laughed.

"If you dare hang up on me."

"You will know after you hang up on me."

Laughing, "So it has become a tit for tat game."

"No, I'd call it a fair exchange."

"Fair indeed. Won't you be late for the exams?"

"No, I have about thirty minutes more but I should get back to preparing."

"If you dare hang up on me," he joked quoting what she had said earlier and they smiled.

"Hanging up on you is the best idea right now; I just remembered a sum I did not revise."

"Stop panicking, I hope you are not going to look it up now."

"I'd better look..."

"No do not, it will be better for you to just get out of the room and go get some fresh air and relax before the exam."

"Okay I will do that, bye Ken."

"Bye sis I love you."

"I love you too bro."

She had never doubted her brother's love for her, they had come a long way together being each other's support system.

Then she remembered Jerkins. Should she call him? What did she want to talk to him about? Can she talk with him freely or joke with him the way she did her brother? She was still debating whether to call or nor when the phone rang. It was Jerkins.

"Hello."

"Hello, I've missed you so much Linda."

"I missed you too."

"I just called to wish you the best in your exam I was told it starts at eight thirty."

"Yes I will start my first paper then."

"Nervous?"

"A little I have never done a university test before."

"You will do great do not worry."

"Thanks."

"I know you are going to give it your best shot."

"Yes I am going to do my best this has been my dream since I was young so I have to make it."

"I like your courage, do not give up on a question."

"I won't," then after a few minutes of silence, "I'd better get going or I will be late."

"Okay I will call you later."

"Bye."

Thirty minutes later Linda was locking her room on her way out. Today she had decided to go with blue denim jeans, light blue top and white sneakers. Her hair was plaited back to reduce time taken for maintenance and on her neck she had on a beautiful silver necklace. She had carried what was essentially required for exams, a clipboard, some foolscaps and her set filled with stationary.

Down the corridor she went then down the stairs and crossed the field over to the exam room. The seats were already arranged so she just slipped into her seat and fussed over her stuff as she waited for the examiner and other students to arrive. One by one the students tickled in and they waited anxiously for the examiner bantering around. They were all excited because they knew after they finish all the papers they were going for their first break as university students. Linda was also very excited about her upcoming holiday and she was still thinking about it when the lecturer and examiner walked in.

Wow! Her mind rang out when she saw the examiner; she had never seen him before. He was older probably in his late forties but his energy and enthusiasm as her moved around the room was captivating.

The one thing that struck out to Linda and she tried to ignore it was the fact that he looked like an older version of Ken.

You have to concentrate on the coming paper, she told herself.

The instructions and warnings were issued then the examiner started distributing the paper. By bad luck he knocked his leg on Linda's locker and nearly fell but he supported himself but the papers were not so lucky. They all fell down.

Linda got up from her desk to go and help.

"Linda! Stop get back to your seat!" The lecturer commanded when she was about to reach for the papers.

"But..."

"No but, just take your seat."

Head hanging in embarrassment she went back to her seat and did not watch as the examiner and lecture picked up the papers. Then the examiner started distributing the papers again and when he passed near Linda's locker he whispered, "Success."

She then mouthed a thank you as her face lit up. Having a lifted heart she sat for her paper encouraged.

## CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Hi, I am Mr. Randolph but my friends call me Randy," the examiner introduced himself when they met by chance on the corridor. She was just coming out of the school museum when they met, she liked chilling there it gave her some semblance of peace.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Randolph, my names are Linda Higgins."

"Such a nice name."

"Stop flattering me."

"It's not a flatter, I have to go now or I will be late. See you later."

"Ok bye."

"Bye."

She stepped aside and let him pass and then she followed him with her eyes as he left until he branched into the SOCIOLOGY room. There was just something about him that felt so familiar she could not place her hand on it.

****

The closing day morning, Linda's room.

It's about six o'clock on a chilly morning and Linda was already up. She was in a pink night dress and her hair had been left free on her shoulder. She was busy finishing the last touches of her packing. The carton boxes were already closed and tied up and she was busy packing up her suitcase.

Few minutes she disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower and came out in her bathrobe with the hair glistening with some droplets of water.

Leisurely she dried and oiled herself then she stood by the bedroom window, pulled back the curtain and looked out to the environment for a moment.

She was so lost in her thoughts, the ringing phone almost made her jump an inch high.

"Hello."

"So nervous? Why are you not in bed sleeping its still early," It was Ken.

"Because I am so happy. Nervous. Elated. Joyful... I lack words to describe my feelings."

"Then you would better get the dictionary it has a lot of words."

"Ooops! That was touchy, how are you?"

"I am fine everyone is doing just fine."

"What are you doing now?"

"I am watching the sunrise."

"Me too."

There was silence for a moment.

"Linda... Are you there?" It was barely a whisper.

"Yes."

"I miss you so much."

"Me too."

"This house needs your influence again."

Silent tears ran down her cheeks, "I am coming Ken."

"I know and I am happy."

"I am happy too, are you picking me up?"

"Of course, at eight o'clock Mr. Driver will be there."

"I hope I will not see this Mr. Driver."

"You have just missed your ride home young lady."

Laughing, "Oh No! Then I am really sorry Mr. Driver."

"Apology accepted half-heartedly."

Yawning loudly he said, "I need to get back to bed."

"You expect to be here by eight o'clock and you still want to go back to bed."

"Do not worry little sis, I will be there on time."

"I will be waiting."

"Bye sis."

"Bye."

She disconnected the call and then someone knocked on the door.

"Yes come in," she called out and the door opened and Carla came in and jumped dramatically onto the bed.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," Linda replied as she went to seat on her bed.

"I just wanted to see if you are doing fine and by the look of things you got everything under control."

"That is so sweet of you."

"Okay I will be going back to my room if you need any help do not hesitate to holler at me."

"Okay."

"Do not forget to say goodbye."

"I will not forget. Is Jerkins picking you up?"

"Yes he is, see you later."

"See you later."

Carla left and when Linda finished dressing she decided to go and wait for Ken out in the parking lot. As she descended the stairs she watched as people carried their luggage, excited for their holiday.

Taking a seat on one of the slabs on the parking lot, she watched as cars came and left. Almost ten minutes later a white Mercedes pulled into the parking lot and she watched as Carla ran and hugged her brother. She was about to stand up and go greet him when she saw his fiancé come out of the passenger seat. She was so pretty it hurt to look at her.

She stopped on her track and just stared.

She saw as Ken parked his car right opposite Jerkins car and on impulse she ran towards her brother and she was in his arms even before he was out of the car.

She just buried her head onto his shoulder and cried. She cried for the joy of seeing her brother. For the pain of seeing Jerkins with another girl.

He just held her and shed silent tears for having his sister with him once again after such a long time. With her he always felt he had everything he needed as he relived his promise he had made to his mother to always take care of her.

## CHAPTER FOURTEEN

On the way home Ken and Linda were silent as they relived what had happened when they were not close to each other. When the distance separating them was so long and all they could do to be near each other was call and dream of the day they will be together again. Those were the times that were left to drift through their minds as they drove home. They had not been apart since the day the police came to the door to inform them that their mother had been in an accident. They had clung to each other and since then it was just the two of them, then the world.

Linda was not concentrating on the road so she was shocked when Ken pulled into their garage.

"That was fast," she mumbled as she opened the door to let herself out.

Ken did not have to answer for Mrs. Iffy who had heard them was already out of the house and hugging Linda.

"It has been so long my daughter," she whispered into her ears as they hugged tightly.

"I missed you a lot especially you're cooking," she replied and they both giggled.

When they separated Mrs. Iffy pulled her towards the house, "Come here kid I want to spoil you silly. Were they feeding you well in school you look malnourished."

She laughed as she followed her into the house leaving Ken behind to follow with the luggage. Linda helped Mrs. Iffy prepare lunch and after a hearty meal filled with laughter and conversation she helped with the clean up.

She then went into her room for a shower and changed into a yellow dress that she loved so much. She was out of the house through the back door after she left a note for Ken, who was sleeping, by the bedside. That man loved his sleep.

Walking down the narrow lane she had walked through severally with Ken through the park she let her mind wander back to the school parking lot this morning. As if it was just happening she remembered the pain of seeing Jerkin's with his fiancé. The way her brother came and the way she had cried just flushed into her mind. When they had separated she had snuggled into his side and they had faced the trio together. After exchanging the formalities Ken had been quick to excuse them. Then they had left. Ken had understood the pain he had seen in her eyes. To him she did not have to explain anything he always understood her. She really thanked God for giving her such a brother. What could she ever do without him?

She really did not really have an answer to the question and frankly she did not want to find out. The park which was so beautiful always left her breathless and intrigued her; it held something to her that nobody else would ever replace in her heart.

Breathing in the fresh air, she felt herself calm down; she had missed this so much she felt like she was swelling. The greenness of the grass made her heart leap with joy. Throwing all cares of the world to the wind she closed her eyes and started running around.

Letting her hair fly.

Her problems fly.

There was nobody around so she opened her mouth and sang with her heart and let her soul fly with the music. She only stopped when she bumped into something solid and it held her, so it could not be a tree. Not wanting to open her eyes she let her head rest on the person knowing it was Ken.

"So sweet of you to come here," she whispered.

"I hope so," he replied.

No it was not Ken. No it can't be! Her mind refused to absorb it; slowly she opened her eyes and looked up directly into Jerkins eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just came to see you, am I justified?"

"Yes you can come and see me but why in the park?"

"I was driving to your home when I saw you come here and I followed. You sing beautifully."

"Not like you do."

"You have this passion that comes up when you are singing. That is why I think you are different."

"I always sing just to unwind whether I have passion or not that is not for you to say."

"What if I say I want you to sing a song with me for my new album?"

"I would say that you are crazy," she answered moving away from his hands.

"You do not have to move away from me, I actually love the way your body feels against mine."

"Ooh my God! I feel like I am the one who is going to go crazy, what have you just said?"

"Stop fooling yourself Linda I can see it in your eyes you feel the same way for me."

Shaking her head, "No, no you are not supposed to feel that way, you are a star, you are engaged and are soon going to get married."

Pulling her to himself he said, "You know for the past few days I have felt stupid for having rushed into the engagement."

"That does not change anything."

"I wish I could be given another opportunity to make the same choice over again"

"You do not even know me."

"What I feel is enough and right now I feel like I should kiss you until you cannot argue anymore."

He did just that.

She felt like she was swimming, he knees felt week and she smuggled in closer to support herself. He deepened the kiss and teased her lips with his tongue urging hers to open under the pressure. She complied and opened her lips allowing him to push his tongue to tease her tongue. They kissed deeply, he was the first one to break away and they both gasped for air.

"I can't go on anymore if I do I might lose control and there is no telling what might happen," he said.

"I know but why do I feel like we should not have stopped although I know it's wrong?"

"I do feel the same way standing here won't make matters any better. Let us go to town I want to pick up something and I need your help."

"Okay," she said.

They broke apart and then started to walk out of the park and got into his car, soon they were driving away."

***

Jerkins and Linda are on their way back to Linda's home when her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hello Linda it is getting late and you are not in the park like you told me, where are you?" It was Ken.

"I am on my way back I will be there in the next fifteen minutes so do not worry about me."

"Okay I will be waiting for you upfront, take care."

""See you." She answered as she disconnected the phone call.

"Your brother?" Jerkins asked without looking at her.

"Yes," she answered.

"He's concerned," he stated and she did not even respond to that.

As they drove the remaining distance home her mind wandered back to what they had done in town. He had gone to pick up a new laptop from one of the dealer's shops then they had done some window shopping in other shops. They saw a jewelers shop nearby and they walked in and he bought two silver necklaces with a locket on it. When they stopped for a cup of coffee he had taken out a cut out photo of their pictures and placed them in the lockets. The he had helped her put on hers whispering in her ears, "when you put this on I shall always be close to your heart no matter where you are and you shall never forget me."

Unforeseen tears had rolled down her cheeks, in that moment she was happy and so content, something she had not felt since her parents passed away. Then despite the fact that the whole world was watching he kissed her right there before everyone. When they broke apart she had laid her head on his shoulders while he held her until they left for home.

Jerkins pulled up in front of their gate and they sat there for a few minutes of silence, no one talking, no one moving.

"Thanks," Linda said at last as she opened the door to let herself out.

"No do not go yet," Jerkins said as he held her wrist.

"Why?" She asked.

"I still need to talk to you."

Linda sat back, "go ahead I am listening."

"I want to invite you to my show tomorrow at around seven o'clock in the evening in Royal Hotel. Can you make it?"

"Maybe if I come with Ken."

"It will be my pleasure to host both of you."

"In that case we will come together."

"I'll send you tickets tomorrow morning."

"I'd be more at ease if we buy our own tickets."

"I'll send them anyway."

"I..." she started to protest when she realized it would take her nowhere. "Okay we shall see about that."

"We shall see, goodnight Linda."

"Goodnight," she said as she came out of the car eventually.

Ken was waiting for her in the veranda just by the front door.

"What took you so long to come out of the car?"

"Jerkins has invited us to his show tomorrow night."

"At what time will that be?"

"Seven o'clock in the evening at Royal Hotel."

"That is fine by me."

By six forty five the evening the next day Linda and Ken were walking into the hotel. Linda was wearing white dress and Ken had on a white dress shirt and black jersey cotton trousers. The hotel was fully packed with fans from all walks of life, but since their seats were reserved they just made their way to the seats.

A few minutes later the master of ceremony announced that shortly after Jerkins would be on stage. Silence fell over the crowd as Jerkins came on stage right then, first came the beats then his voice carried over the whole stage as they sang. She held her breath as she listened to him sing:

All my life I looked out of the window of my life hoping that you are their somewhere

Hoping that it will not be another one more lifetime of waiting forever again

My life is wasted without you

So when I saw you I knew that you had finally arrived

But to my sadness you were two months late

It kills me because I know you are available but I cannot love you

Because I cannot control what I feel for you

When you smile my whole world lights up

When you laugh my whole world vibrates to the sound of your laughter

You are powerful lady and your power is killing me

You can get me to kneel down on my knees and shout my love for you to the world

It's so sad that I will never get a chance to be with you the way I want

The way I feel is best

Because I cannot control what I feel for you

When you smile my whole world lights up

When you laugh my whole world vibrates to the sound of your laughter

Our love is so beautiful that the church would condemn it

It's so perfect that our conscience does not allow us to rest

It's so clear that we have to close our eyes

It's so loud that we have to close our ears

Yet it's so wrong

But

I cannot control what I feel for you

When you smile my whole world lights up

When you laugh my whole world vibrates to the sound of your laughter

The song ended and soon only the beats could be heard as Jerkins danced and the next song came on as the night wore out. Before they knew it was six in the morning, everyone was on their feet all night until the darkness wore out and the crowd thinned out after Jerkins left the stage.

Linda and Ken also left for home shortly after six in the morning.

## CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The next day at around ten o'clock in the morning.

Linda was seated on the couch watching television. Both Ken and Mrs. Iffy had left for work, Ken had been tired this morning and he had to take two cups of coffee just to stay awake.

The doorbell rung.

"Wait a minute," she said as she put pause to what she was watching on television and went to open the door.

She was in shorts, a white sleeveless top and bare feet.

"Ooh I never expected it to be you," she said when she opened the door.

"It's nice to have a surprise once in a while," Jerkins said as he leaned on the door appraising her. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks are you going to come in or will you just stand there?"

"I feel like standing here and watching you all day."

"Then I am sorry I will have to bang the door on your face."

"Spare me that," he said as he got in.

"So what can you make for me, I am hungry," he said as he sat down on the same seat she had been seated on.

She looked at him unbelievingly, "You are not serious."

"Believe me or not I am serious, I have not had anything since yesterday lunch."

"Why?"

"I never had the appetite."

"Okay it is about lunch time, so what do I make for you? Lunch or breakfast?"

"What if I start with breakfast?"

"I will be in the kitchen if you need anything."

"Can I use the washroom?"

"At all costs," she said as she headed for the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later she was laying for him breakfast on the dining table.

"Jerkins food is on the table," she called out.

"I am nearly done; just give me one more second."

"I feel more refreshed now," he said as he headed for the table, he was in the bathrobe reserved for guests.

"You were taking a shower?"

"What else do people do in the washroom?" He asked shrugging his shoulder. "Mmmh, this smells delicious."

"Help yourself."

"What about you?" He asked as he poured some tea into his cup.

"I already had breakfast."

"Even just one more cup?"

"No, thanks."

"I won't have it," he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

He came back a few minutes later with a cup and poured some tea for her in it. He then took his seat after handing it over to her.

Looking at him with admiration, "you are amazing."

"Why? Simply because I got you a cup?"

"Not just that, but the way you look here... it just seems like..."

"Like what?"

"Like it's normal."

He was silent a moment. "Can I make a confession Linda?"

Looking at him in the eyes, "Yeah."

"I feel so at home next to you."

"Stop flattering me."

"I am not flattering you."

"Okay then take your tea."

They took their tea engaged in conversation about the weather, their brother and sister, their favorite movies.

When they were done Linda cleared the table and went to the kitchen to wash the utensils.

"Can I be of any help?" Jerkins asked from the doorway leaning on the doorpost.

"How about wiping the utensils," she said as she threw him the dish cloth.

"You have no appointments today?" she asked when she was done.

"I have one right now."

She raised a questioning brow.

"The reason I came here..."

"The reason that has cost me a lot," she joked.

Shrugging, "You are supposed to make your guests feel at home. Seriously I wanted to invite you somewhere."

"You and your invitations."

"Will never come to an end," he said smiling, "Yet this time it's not just for one evening but for three weeks."

"Gosh!"

"Listen first, I am planning on producing another song and I want it shot out by the coast. I am renting a house there."

"So what has that got to do with me?"

"I want to partner with you on that song."

"Jerkins, I can't."

"Why can't you?" He asked as he moved towards her and she moved backwards. She hit the sink and could not move anymore and he placed both hands on her sides trapping her in.

"Why? You are beautiful, you have a great voice, you are charming... I do not think I have enough words to describe you."

Stunned she kept quiet.

"What can I do to convince you," he looked at her deep in the eyes as if searching her soul. She swarm in those eyes and saw a flash of passion pass through their eyes and it was gone before she registered it was there. He was going to kiss her, she could see that...

"I have to go," he said as he let her hands fall back to his side. He then turned and disappeared from the kitchen.

She just stood there confused.

When he was back he was fully dressed, he never came near her but just stood by the door.

"Think over my proposal, if you make up your mind I am only a phone call away."

He turned and was leaving when he turned and looked at her one last time and said, "The song yesterday was dedicated to you." Then he was gone.

Slowly she made her way to the sitting room, threw herself on the sofa and cried. She did not know why she just did that.

***

Ken and Linda were strolling in the park holding hands. They seem to be relaxed and at ease with the environment.

Linda started singing and jumping:

One little girl went out to the farm

Its yellow color blended evenly with the

Lime green, its tail saying from east to west.

She stood and started laughing.

"I am going crazy," she said.

"So I can see."

"Seriously Ken I am stressed."

"What is wrong sis."

"Jerkins."

He frowned, "How?"

"He is planning on shooting another video at the coast and he wants me to be his partner that means staying in the coast for weeks."

"That is great."

"It is not about greatness Ken, what if I mess up?"

"How?"

"Do not ask me and you know that I have very little control where he is concerned."

"Then I will go with you."

"He suggested that but..."

Holding her by the shoulder he said, "Look sis, opportunities like this only come one time. Do not let this one slip you by."

"Will you take care of me?"

"Of course I will."

"Then I will go.'

He took her into his arms and swayed her around.

## CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The airplane touched down the runway in the evening. Linda, Carla, Ken and Jerkins came down from the plane stairs. Both Ken and Jerkins were dressed in black denim jeans. Ken was in a black T-shirt and Jerkins was in a white T-shirt. Both Carla and Linda were in a blue denim jeans skirt.

After getting their suitcases they got into the blue sports car Jerkins had hired for them. After about half an hour they pulled into the parking lot of a white enormous chalet. It was surrounded by big green grass that seemed to be stretching forever.

They got out of the car and took in their surrounding and a deep breath of fresh air. Taking their suitcases from the boot they made their way for the door. The door was opened by a short slim woman with a breathtaking smile who introduced herself as Mrs. Brown.

"Hi welcome in."

"Thanks," they said in unison.

"Come in, don't hang yourself out there."

She led the way in and they both followed.

"There are two bedrooms upstairs, the ladies can take one and the guys can take the other. After you are settled in you can come down for some coffee."

"Okay thanks." Linda said and they climbed the stairs to their rooms.

The guys took the left while Carla and Linda take the right.

Linda was the first one to be done bathing and settling in, and then soon she was on her way downstairs. She went to the kitchen and found the nice lady preparing tea.

"Please check on the cake in the oven," she said without even looking up.

"Okay," she said as she headed for the oven. She said without even looking at her.

"Take it out of the oven."

Taking the cake out of the oven she placed it on the table, and then started slicing it.

"What is your name?"

"I am Linda."

"You look like one of my daughters that is why I am fond of you even before I know you."

"What is her name?"

"Her name is Liana but I must confess the only difference between you and her is the dressing."

"I would love to meet her."

"I will bring her with me tomorrow if she is free, I might also interest my young son into coming too thou that young man never leaves the television"

"That would be fun."

They worked in silence for a few short minutes until they were done in the kitchen.

"Do you live here?" Linda asked as they arranged the table."

"No I go back home every evening and report to work in the morning. It is not as if I have to work here but I love this house. I have been working here before I even met my husband. So I have become attached to it and the people in it, thou they come and go. I have worked here for about eleven years."

"Wow that's long."

"Yeah the people who live here are nice people and I feel like I owe them my life."

"You are planning on working here until you die?"

Smiling, "No just until I am old enough."

"Okay that is nice."

Carla, Ken and Jerkins came down and they had their tea and it was really delicious and they enjoyed both the food and company. After that Carla and Linda cleaned the dishes.

They went for a long walk in the beach and after they arranged how to spend the next day. They had one more day before they started video shooting.

After dinner they retired to their rooms, Linda was still thinking of what the lady told her about the daughter. No it could not be that she had a sister; she thought scoffing; she was just another look alike.

The next morning it was Carla who was up and out to the kitchen first. By the time Linda woke up breakfast was ready and was arranging the table. They helped each other do some cleaning and were done when Ken and Jerkins woke up and came down. They then took their breakfast and were washing the dishes when Mrs. Brown came in.

"Good morning everyone I am so sorry I am late, hope you forgive me, I had to prepare my young son if we were to come with him. Here he is," she said as she got in.

There by the door stood the copyright of Linda, there was no difference except what they had put on. Beside her stood a seven year old boy whom they came to know as Kevin.

"Come on in," Mrs. Brown said to them and they followed her.

"Liana you can seat over there and Kevin can sit beside you," she then went down to business and literally chased Linda and Carla from the sink.

The six of them decided to go to the beach and they had a lot of fun as they got to know each other well. Linda came to know that Liana was not Mrs. Brown biological daughter. Her father had met Mrs. Brown when Liana was ten years old.

Linda and Liana had so many similarities on their outward appearance only differences were their age, preferences and date of birth. They even joked that they were twins born separately and they got so fond of each other and it felt like they had grown up together. In fact Jerkins asked her to join them in the song and they made plans for the next day for when the shooting of song was to start.

The days ran by smoothly as producers came in daily for the shoot and within two weeks they were done leaving them one week to just let loose and enjoy the remaining time together. They were all pleased with their work and best part it brought them together almost like family.

"My husband is very intrigued that his daughter has a look alike and really wants to meet you Linda." Mrs Brown said one evening, and then she addressed the others, "Not just Linda but all of you. Would you mind if I invite him over for lunch tomorrow.

"That is okay with us," Linda said and looked at everyone for approval, since no one disputed the decision was made.

The next day before lunch was like usual as they prepared themselves for his arrival. He arrived at around noon at to Linda's amazement it was the examiner, Mr. Rudolph. She watched in awe and to her surprise he still remembered her.

"How can I forget someone who looked so much like my daughter," he said when she voiced her surprise.

After lunch they all went to play beach volleyball with Mr. Rudolph as the audience and Mrs. Brown as the referee.

They were in the thick of playing Linda hit her leg on one of the stones so she had to seat down next to Mr. Rudolph for a moment. After the pain had subsided they got talking when out of the blues he asked, "What will you do when you meet someone after twenty years?"

"I have not lived past twenty years for a long time so I cannot tell that easily."

"What if you see a child now and then see her again twelve years later?"

"I will not recognize them I guess," she answered puzzled.

"What if it was your own child?" He asked, and then he continued, "The first time I saw you in the lecture room the papers fell out of my hand from shock. I could not believe my eyes."

"What are you trying to say.." Linda asked then, "Ooh my God."

"Tell me what I am thinking is not true," she said holding his shirt and shaking him.

"I am sorry but it is true,"

Sobbing Linda stood up and ran towards the house and he tried to ran after her, the others stopped the game to watch what was going on before they followed too.

By the time they caught up with them Mr. Rudolph was knocking on the girl's bedroom begging her to open the door so he can explain.

"What happened? What did you do to my sister?" Ken demanded.

"I just told her the truth."

"What truth?" Ken asked and when he did not answer, "Please answer me what did you tell her."

"That I am your father."

Ken gasped, "What!"

## CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"That is not true, my parents are dead and I want to warn you never to get near my sister or I."

"Please do I not even get to explain?"

"Not on your life and if you know what is best for you, you will leave right now."

"Please Ken just give me one chance that is all I ask from you."

"You do not deserve anything just leave us alone," he said and then got into the boys bedroom and locked the door after himself.

Mr. Rudolph was left stranded on the corridor with only Liana and Mrs. Brown to console him, with Jerkins and Carla were left stranded not knowing what to do. Mr. Rudolph left after his wife convinced him that there was nothing they could do to tonight.

Mrs. Brown had already made dinner so they did not have to start cooking. Linda managed to sneak out of the house and took a long walk into town just to clear her head. She was on her way back home when she met with Jerkins and tried to ignore him.

"I do not feel like talking to anybody," she told him when he caught her wrist and pulled her back.

"I just want to be close to you, offer you a shoulder to lean on."

"I do not need that."

"Please come on, I really know you are going through some hard time and I will help you in any way I can, just let me help."

He said pulling her towards the park on the roadside and she felt like not only resisting but also slapping him but she resisted the urge and followed him like a goat.

When they got into the park he sat down and pulled her down with him. When she was sited he just held her like a baby and soothingly, "Just cry I know it will help."

She clung onto him and cried out all the pain she had been through in her life.

Then slowly without even looking at him she said, "My mum never told us about our dad, she always kept it a secret. She suffered a lot maybe because she could not stand to be away from him or maybe from the tension of having to raise kids alone. We never understood for she rarely talked to anyone and she had no friends. When she got into an accident and she was admitted in the hospital we did everything we could at that age. The worst part we did not know if she had caused the accident intentionally and thinking that of your mother just tears you apart. We would just stood by her bedside begging her to hold on to her dear life just for our sake but she only just stared blankly. The she just died and left us with nothing in the world." She shuddered from the memory. "I was six years old and Ken was ten. He felt like it was his responsibility to take care of me. He tried for me and made sure I always had something to eat. He is the best brother he was like my mum and dad. He took care of me until we met Mrs. Iffy who has been good to us until now... I cannot tell anymore. They are some things we went through that are not even worth mentioning."

He never said anything but just held her tightly so that she could not feel all alone, he felt like he shared her pain. When she looked up to him she just said, "I just want to forget."

Before he knew what she was up to she kissed him. Knowing that she needed a distraction he kissed her like his life depended on it. They threw all caution to the wind and it felt like their world vibrated and beat only for their heartbeats. At that moment it was only about them....

***

Two days later they left for their hometown, Ken had not said anything to anyone for those two days. He just stared blankly like someone in shock and at times he would look over at Linda and ask her, "Are you in alright?"

When she nodded yes he would go back to staring at her again. It hurt Linda so much but there was little she could do for him except just hold him at times when he let her. He never cried but only groaned at times. Jerkins had helped her forget so much pain she had felt for the past. He helped her remember that life was messy and not everything went smoothly. That all the pain was there to strengthen her faith and help build her to be a better person in the future. She had come to terms with everything. So her main priority was to make his brother understand that all was for the best. She loved him and she did not like seeing him suffering.

One thing she did before they left and without knowledge of Ken she had gone to visit her father. They had talked and he had explained everything that had happened. Although it was difficult to accept she understood and tried so hard to forgive him.

On the way back home no one said anything. Even as they separated at the airport no one was in good moods. At home they were welcomed by Mrs. Iffy who knew right away that something had gone terribly wrong. After she got a good explanation she understood why Ken was behaving the way he was behaving. After they had settled in Linda went to see Ken in his room.

"Ken why are you in such a mood?"

"Did he come to remind me of my weaknesses?" He asked her tears running down his cheeks.

"What are you talking about, everyone has weaknesses."

"I am not talking about everyone here I am talking about me, the way I did not take care of you."

She started crying, "Do not say that brother you know you did the best for me."

"I can still remember that night," without even asking she knew what he was talking about. "You were screaming and there was nothing I could do to help, I was tied up and they raped you."

"No brother do not do that to yourself you know there was nothing you could do."

"That is what hurts so much, that I could not do anything. I have worked so hard just to do the right thing for you. To make it up to you. Just to show you that I can protect you, that is why I became a lawyer. To protect you."

"You do not have to be so hard on yourself."

"That is what you think but I know he came to remind me that I cannot take care of you."

"Please Ken I beg you do not do this to yourself, I do not blame you."

"Linda just get out of my room. I beg you."

"Listen to me Ken please."

"Linda I said get out."

"Ken.."

"Just go and leave me alone. Go!"

Crying she got out of the room and left him crying.

## CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

By the time she went back to the university Ken had refused to even talk to her. Only the support from her father, sister, Carla and Jerkins kept her going during this hard time when she missed her brother so much she felt she could not live anymore. Yet she knew that life had to go on and that inner strength that makes people move on even though everything seemed to have stopped was what she had left.

It did not help matters when a month later she fell sick and when her father took her to the hospital and to her shock she found out she was pregnant. It was Jerkins baby and in no way in the world she was going to keep the baby. For so many reasons she just could not keep it and she decided to have an abortion without telling him she was pregnant. That evening she went to her father's house; he was against the abortion and insisted on telling Jerkins that she was pregnant.

She was not aware her father had told Jerkins about it until that evening when Jerkins paid her a visit. He found her outside the house trying to read and he did not talk to her at first but just stood and looked down at her.

"Is it true you are pregnant?" He asked at last.

"Yes it is true."

"Are you planning on getting an abortion?"

She did not look up, "Yah." She knew that if she did she might break down and he would change her mind.

He did not even try, "I will not let you do that, call me when you change your mind."

Crouching down to look at her in the eyes he said, "If you do this do not ever ever talk to me again."

He then just turned around and left.

She did not even know she was crying until a tear hit the book page she was reading blurring the words. She wiped them away and tried to concentrate again yet she felt them roll down her cheeks again. She was doing what was best for everyone especially for the kid who she already loved more than anything. Jerkins was still engaged and she was a student, there was no way they would provide a stable family for the kid and worst of all she was scared.

Scared she was going to be a bad mom.

Scared she was going to inherit her mother's disease and end up like her mother.

Like a flashback it came back to her the first time her mum tried to kill them all by lighting them all on fire when she had one of her episodes. She had poured petrol on them as they huddled onto the corner crying and begging her to stop. She was about to light the fire when she looked at them then broke down into tears begging them to forgive her. She could not do that to her baby because even though her mum was crazy she knew she loved them. She could not just help herself when she had an episode and threw things at them or hit them.

If she ever developed that disease she was not fit to be a mum.

She just could not; she sobbed as she pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. She had to be strong for them all. She sobbed for Jerkins who had not even given her a chance to explain or even comfort her. She sobbed for the baby's future she was stealing. She sobbed for her mother's love and most of all she just sobbed because she felt so empty.

*****

Two weeks later she was on her way back to college after visiting Ken and Mrs. Iffy for the weekend in Ken's car listening to Adele sing her heart out about Love. She and Ken had gone to back to speaking terms and were still working out the kinks of having a dad. She and Carla were still trying to work out their relationship after she told them her decision not to have the baby. She knew what she was supposed to do; she had just not gathered the courage to do it yet. She knew if she wanted to get it over with she would better get to it soon, yet lately she was toying with the idea of giving the baby up for adoption She had done some research and there were couples out there who would love the baby, and if she had an open adoption she would get to see her baby once in a while. In case she fell ill she would not affect her child's life.

Since the idea had taken root she felt more relieved, she just had to figure out a way to get Jerkins on board.

Singing along to Adele's Rolling in the deep she did not see the car behind her until it rear ended her. She thought it was an accident at first she slowed down to pull by the road side when she was rear ended again. The car span a bit but she stepped on the gas to speed away when the car behind her speed too and hit her again.

She did not know how it happened one minute she was fine next the car had careened to the side and flipped over. All she could hear was the sound of metal on metal then a car speeding away. She watched upside down as the car which was a black SUV speed away.

Upside down she watched as people ran towards Ken's car.

The seat belt tightened around her shoulder like it was the only thing holding her up and it felt like she could not feel anything. Shivers raked down her body then she could not see or hear anymore.

All she felt was the silence and all she could see was the darkness.

She embraced it.

## CHAPTER NINETEEN

Lights everywhere,

Why was it so bright in here? That was the first thought Linda had when she came too. Is this how heaven looked like or did hell punish people by shining bright light into their eyes until they submitted.

She groaned and closed her eyes again, too bright, have to sleep again, then she was out again.

When she woke up again the lights were better and she knew she was still alive when she heard the beeping of the monitoring machine.

Her throat felt so dry, water, she croaked out hoping someone heard her.

She felt someone shift but her head felt too heavy to shift to the side but she did not have too for a second later Jerkins was in her view.

"Ooh my God you are awake," tears shimmered in his eyes.

She needed to drink something before she could talk, so she croaked again, "Water."

"Ooh right water," he said as he scrambled back up and soon she heard a tap open. He was back less than a minute later and he helped her lift her bed so she could sip the water through the straw.

It felt so good and cool going down her throat she tried to gulp it up when he took it away and she tried desperately to reach for it again, "Hey slow down, there is plenty of it." When he gave it to her this time she drank slowly enjoying it until she was satisfied.

Ken set the glass on the bedside table then came back to seat next to her. Some people after an accident would not remember what had happened or how they got to the hospital, yet she remembered everything. Even though she had blacked out it was as if she was on the outside watching in. Watching as everybody she loved arrived at the hospital devastated especially Ken. She had tried to reach out once and tell him she was okay but he did not hear her. She could see he blamed himself. Jerkins had not left her bedside since she came in and she knew he loved her. He ate hospital food and took showers in the staff washroom. She could admit getting to watch him shower was interesting.

Now as he looked down at her she did not have any questions, then she remembered she had been pregnant.

"The baby?" She whispered hoping that everything was fine, she was looking forward to seeing her child even if it was occasionally.

He nodded, "everything is fine." He answered as he wiped tears she did not even realize were rolling down her cheeks. "You are both going to be fine." From the look on his face it was like he wanted to gather her up in his arms and console her; she wanted that but was afraid it would hurt too much.

So she just turned her head and he held it onto his palm, and for the moment that was enough.

"I have to go call your family, they went to the hotel to change and get some sleep."

"Okay," she answered and kissed his palm softly. When he left she closed her eyes, so tired, she thought right before she fell asleep again.

When she woke up again it was to the raucous of people arguing and it took her a second to realize it was Ken arguing with the nurse.

"Bro leave the poor woman alone," she said when there was a lull in the argument and she was sure her voice could be heard over them.

Ken turned around and ran towards her and took her into his arms, she felt the pain so she said cried out until he let her go. "Sorry," he said clearly embarrassed by his show of emotion.

She just smiled up at him; she had missed her cheesy brother.

Seating down beside her he said, "Don't you dare scare me like that again, don't you know it is just you and me."

She gave him a teary smile, "Me and you."

"Hey Ken do not hog the patient," Mrs. Iffy came forward and playfully pushed Ken away and took his place. She heard the others laugh behind her and she smiled, it felt so good to be alive.

"You okay kiddo?" She asked with tenderness, the childhood nickname almost made her cry some more. Throat too clogged to speak she just nodded, "Good get better soon and come home so I can fatten you up."

She rolled her eyes with a smile, "I am not a cow."

"You do need some fattening," Mrs. Brown who had flown over from Mombasa with Liana and Kevin supported Mrs. Iffy. She groaned, "Do not tell me you have joined the club too." It seemed Mrs. Iffy had gained a friend.

Tragedy did bring people together.

She was then wished well by her dad who tried to hug her before remembering her painful bones and giving her a sheepish smile.

The nurse came back thirty minutes later and ordered everyone out of the room even Ken and Jerkins who seemed to be butting heads on who stays.

"Go home, I am fine and I will be here tomorrow when you get back." She told both of them. "You need some sleep and a decent meal."

Relenting Ken was the first to say goodbye as he kissed her cheek and promised to be back by first light. She believed him.

After Ken left Jerkins came forward and took her hand in his, he looked directly in her eyes, "Promise me you will be here when I get back."

"I promise." She whispered, he then gave her a feather light kiss and left.

She cuddled into the bed a bit troubled; who had ran her out of the road?

Today her family was just glad to see her she did not want to pepper them with questions, but come tomorrow she wanted to know who wanted her dead

****

## JERKINS

This morning could not come any earlier for him; he had felt restless all night only falling asleep for about two hours before he bolted up awake again. Almost losing Linda had made him realize just how stupid he had been in keeping up with a sham of engagement. Actually he had realized it before and broken it off and was looking for a way to apologize to Linda when he got the phone call.

He could not forget that moment it was as if his heart dropped to his shoes when he had the news and all the way to the hospital he was chanting, please let her be okay.

God had answered his prayers and he was not going to lose her again, not ever even if he had to tie her to his side. That was why not spending the night by her side did not bode well with him but he needed to come up with a strategy on how to tell her how he felt. After screwing up a simple I love you was not going to cut it, he had to do it big and convince her to take a chance on him.

His first alarm rang and he was off the bed, first visiting hours were at eight and if he hurried he would be there thirty minutes early. Maybe he could charm the nurses with his celebrity status to let him see her before her family got there. What he had to do was best done in private.

For some unknown reason he was not surprised to meet Ken by the elevators, they were all in the same hotel. They did not speak just nodded at each other as they got into the elevator and pressed the ground button. They kept the same silence all the way to the hospital and Ken even stopped with him when he purchased some flowers.

He appreciated the effort he was making to accommodate him even if they did not voice it.

When they got to the hospital door he turned to Ken, "Buy me five minutes." He did not know if it would work but he had to give sneaking in a shot.

"Five minutes," Ken said as he stalked off to go charm the nurse on duty.

He even managed to sneak past the desk guard who was busy dozing off and he made it to the room Linda was assigned. As he opened the door he smiled, he felt good about this, and this was the beginning of their love story. The door swung open and the first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty.

No, this could not be happening. He closed the door again to recheck the room number; yeah he had the correct room. He heard a whimper that seemed like a hurt dog nearby as a sob wrenched from deep within, the only reason the room would be empty...

No, no, he could not finish that thought, she was fine. She had to be fine, they had forever together.

He did not even hear the footsteps coming up behind him as Ken approached saying, "Hey buddy your five minutes are up.

He turned around, he was sure he looked like someone shell shocked.

"Empty," he whispered hoarsely then blankness just embraced him and he was out.

## WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT BOOK IN THE BLOOM SERIES BY KEEPING UP WITH THE AUTHOR

lynnjoaneachieng@gmail.com

## CHECK OUT THE SNEEK PEAKS TO MY OTHER BOOKS BELOW.

SPIRAL OF CRAZY

SNEEK PEEK
PROLOGUE

You throw a girl out of the window once; you end up in a mental hospital.

It was not like it was even that high up, just from the first floor window.

Some people were just sissy's, Roxy thought as she paced the room she had been assigned at Mathare Mental Hospital.

Five years she had worked her ass off to be among the best writers of her time and here she was in a mental institution, labeled crazy.

There was no difference between her and the man who walked around naked in the streets. One's gotta laugh at the irony of the situation.

"This will be good for you," her mother had said just an hour ago. "Take some time to be yourself again, find yourself again."

She got where her mother came from she just did not appreciate it. She could just imagine the news headlines, "Famous Author Roxy Moraa Gone Crazy" "Author Roxy in The Luni Bin".

She could imagine the news interviews, "So did you think she could snap like this someday?" Some faceless journalist would ask.

The "friend" being interviewed would reply, "Of course just look at chapter eight of her last book, the way she had Eva running around with a knife. It is just a spiral of crazy." Except that 'friend' had known her about a whole thirty minutes.

Her actual friend Rose would be throwing things at the television got despite her sweet disposition she was a fire cracker.

But who would care if the friend talking on television was an actual friend as long as she made the headlines.

"Friends knew that Roxy would one day snap."

Yeah right.

It would not matter that the woman she had thrown out the window was her boyfriend's latest squeeze.

Or that she found them banging on her bed, going at it like two wild rabbits.

Maybe she should have let the woman dress before going all Rambo on her ass. Those cardio kickboxing lessons had worked, Rafe her ex boyfriend as per this morning, had to call the cops.

Like he had not done enough damage already.

Too bad they had not gotten their before she threw them out of the window. She was about to follow her over to finish what she had started when two cops restrained her.

Too say the truth she had not really loved Rafe, it was just the combination of the stress of working so hard on her latest book trying to make it a masterpiece that had gotten to her.

Seeing them together she had just snapped.

It was like a dam had broken free and rage had flown out. Sweeping.

Maybe just maybe, all she needed was a break.

A new start.

To take the year in the Luni bin to formulate a plan.

Seating down with a sigh on the bed with white sheets; or she had finally gone crazy.

Who knew?

CHAPTER ONE

Blake loved his routine.

Working out, going to work, eating and sleeping at the same time every day.

As his feet pounded down the path he thought of a time when he let passion rule his life.

When he had lived for his desires before he had crashed and burned.

Now his life was predictable and he loved knowing exactly what he was going to do tomorrow those facts filled him with contentment and satisfaction.

His therapist had said, "develop a routine, it will give you structure, this will help your life get back on track."

He had taken those words literally.

He came to a stop right outside his front door.

The running each morning helped him, especially on those nights he had nightmares and he could almost hear Mary's voice.

Shaking himself out of it he picked up his newspaper on his way in. Many people now loved reading news from tablets or their phones; he just loved the smell of the newspaper. Reminded him of his daddy.

As soon as he opened the door his cat Mel ran to the door like he missed him. He knew better Mel was probably just hungry or wanted to slip out between his legs. He was not normally a cat person but when he bought the house, it came with the cat. He did not have the heart to throw him out and the company was not bad.

Being that Mel had been on his own so long he would sneak into the neighbors houses for food even if Blake fed him. The neighbors complained and it had to stop so he started locking him in the house. For the two days sleep was ruined for him as Mel went ahead to rip and knock everything over.

On the third day Blake locked him in the bathroom and that was when they came to an understanding.

As much of an understanding as a cat and man can get.

Mel makes noise, Mel sleeps in the bathroom.

Simple.

He picked up the phone to call his friend Nathan as he got the cat food from the top shelf.

"Hey lazybones, wake up," he said as soon as he heard a grunt from the other end of the line.

That was met with more grunting and groaning.

"Waky waky the sun is up."

"Go fuck yourself," was the only answer he got to which he burst out laughing. Judging from the groan on the other end of the line or the look Mel gave him, his merriment was not appreciated.

"For your day to be right you have to start it happy," the voice of his therapist rang out again and he pushed it down. He had faked a lot of happiness until now, but he was actually enjoying waking Nathan up.

"Hey language Mel is listening," currently Mel was chewing down on his food and would not give a damn if they swore all day.

"You and that damn cat of yours," Nathan said still grumpy.

"He loves me," to which Mel released a sigh that sounded so much like yah right. "Anyway get your butt up today we are going hiking remember."

With a sigh of realization that he was never going to get back to sleep, "You know I could just disconnect this call and go back to bed."

"I have the coffee ready."

Suddenly chipper, "Next time lead with that, I'll be there in five minutes." Then he was gone.

Placing the phone down with a chuckle, "Man he was easy."

Exactly five minutes later Nathan burst in through the back door chanting coffee coffee coffee.

Standing next to the kitchen island he watched his friend assault his coffee maker, "Good morning to you too."

"Asshole," was the only answer he got as he filled his cup up.

"Now that is so much better," Nathan said after finishing up the whole cup in three gulps.

"You swear too much for a cop," Blake replied, "and does the coffee not burn you? That thing was hot."

Raising one finger, "first I swear the right amount for a cop to put up the type of crap I put up with in a day." Pausing, "Second, I have developed a tolerance for hot coffee."

Laughing, "So what has put you in an extra grumpy mood this morning?"

Filling his cup again he took a seat on the stool next to where Blake was standing.

"One word, Mrs. Iffy."

Chuckling, "technically that is two words," to which he got a murderous glare. "Okay what did she do this time?"

"Took a frying pan to Mr. Iffy for not putting the toilet seat down. When I got there she was running after him around the coffee table shouting about air bacteria and viruses."

By the time he was done Blake was bent over laughing so hard. This was why he woke up Nathan in the morning there was always a funny story.

Chuckling Nathan added, "One day those two will end up killing each other, not from one hitting the other but from all the running around they do. They are eighty they should be seated somewhere knitting and chewing tobacco."

Wiping a tear, "That would be the day."

"Speaking of which I hear they have a niece coming to town this weekend," Nathan said trying to look non chlochant, "Maybe you two will hit it off."

He had not dated since Mary passed away five years ago and he could not blame his friend for trying to help but he was not ready. He still needed more time.

The easy mood lost, "Yah maybe," he moved to the sink.

"Man it has been five years, it's time to move on and maybe a stranger here for the holidays is just what you need."

Jaw tightening he placed the cup down with more force than necessary, "Not interested." For a minute or two there was silence and tension.

Trying to lighten the mood Blake turned around, "Maybe she is as crazy as her aunt and uncle."

Chuckling, "Maybe even crazier."

To that they burst out laughing.

Easy mood restored.

What they did not count on thou was Nathan being right.

FOREVER US

BOOK SUMMARY

A trip back home turns to be more than she bargained for.......

Sasha loves her village and all the people even though they tend to stick their noses where they do not belong. She has a lot of problems in her life and is tired of fighting. For the first time in years when she goes back home she finds Logan a ghost from the forgotten past....

Well forgotten to others......

Logan has come back home with one goal in mind to help Sasha face her fears and bring back the girl who used to fight for herself. Maybe along the way make her fall in love with him again. Will he manage to convince her that she is worthy and that they deserve a second chance? Or is he reaching for the impossible.

Whatever the cost he is all in.......

SNEEK PEEK

FOREVER US
PROLOGUE

As the DJ cranked the music up to hip hop, Sasha Aludbe shook her ass regardless of the fact that her dancing and music were not even close to being in sync. It was so long since she had felt this freedom, so long before she'll feel it again. Sasha felt her heart beat steadily to Wiz Khalifa's work hard, play hard. She felt the sweat trickle down the open back of her black dress.

The effects of the black ice she had downed so far were seeping through her blood to her system into her brain. She felt it all, and it was just exhilarating, for the first time in four months she was free.

Time to change the steady twist of her ass into slow adulations of her waist as the DJ played Eminem's No love. Ok, the song was not danceable, but she did not care. Each word, each beat resounded in her brain. She felt a man's hand around her waist just as the DJ picked up the beat. So she as she picked up the steady shaking of her ass on his groin.

She did not care who he was she was here to have fun. Taking a deep breath after the song came to an end she pulled away sweating and breathless. He tried to talk to her, but she ignored him and made her way back to her table. When she got back, she pulled the first long sip of her drink before smiling to her cousin and partner in crime this evening.

"You were having fun," she said with a knowing smile.

Looking at her with appreciation she answered, "Yeah I was. It was incredible and long overdue."

Rolling her eyes," to think I had to drag you out of bed."

"Ok ok I get it thanks, you my dear are the best cousin ever," she said throwing her hands around her cousin's shoulders.

"And you my dear are sweaty and smelly," she responded trying to disengage herself from the hug.

"Oh no you don't," holding on tighter, "this is fun you are smelling take it in. Breath deep."

Laughing at the expression of horror on her cousin's face Sasha removed her hands.

"Why aren't you out there shaking your assets? You look great in that blue dress by the way."

Sasha asked her.

Flipping her hair dramatically, "Ooh stop it."

"Show off," she said fake punching her cousin on the shoulder.

Their bantering slowly died off as they resumed drinking in silence.

"How are you holding up?" her cousin finally asked her. The last four months had been rough what with her stepdad going to prison, children picking on her sister, a mob trying to burn down her mother's house until she had to take care of her kid sister. Cold shivers ran down her body just thinking about it.

Giving her a small smile that she hoped like hell her cousin bought, "Am fine, I'll always be fine."

As if seeing through her act she just nodded, "If you need anything, anything at all just call me."

She tried to hold back tears threatening to flow, "Thanks." She would not cry. She had cried enough for a lifetime.

Laughing through a sniffle that had escaped she raised her bottle in cheers, "To a better end of year."

Her cousin raised her bottle and was about to say something when she remained frozen. Her eyes were wide with shock as if she had seen a ghost.

Before she could turn back to look, she heard the voice she thought she would never hear ever again, "Hello princess."

It seemed like the year just kept serving her shit.

Serving her even the dead.

INTROSPECT

BOOK SUMMARY

All Alexander Hart wants do is to bury herself in so much pain she does not feel or hear the Voice of guilt anymore. The only person she ever loved was dead and with a childhood past still haunting her she wants nothing more than to just end it.

But she made a promise.

And she never breaks her promises.

Ever.

Brandon just wants to go on with his life, maybe even find a nice lady and settle down with God by their side. What he does not count on is having to rescue a crazy woman over and over from herself.

What he does not really expect is to fall for her.

She becomes his life.

He becomes her hope....

SNEEK PEEK

INTROSPECT
PROLOGUE

He did not hold back any punches or cut her any slack and that was why she loved him. He knew when the demons from the past came calling she just wanted to fight and she wanted it dirty and bloody. Many times they had carried each other to the emergency room after; both limping and holding their bruised ribs as they used the other for support.

Having him always there for support was the other reason she loved him. He was her rock and she was his. No matter what they had a pact. She was his ride or die bitch.

Now was one of those moment she felt as if an animal had taken over her and she just wanted to beat the hell out of something. To draw blood. As Ivan shifted front and back trying to find his stance she threw the first punch. She knew it was not fair but she did not care. She also knew for sure tomorrow her hands would be sore because she had no gloves on. Catching her off guard still thinking about her bruised hands he landed a punch on her jaw. The pain split through her bones and she felt it explode through her skull like fireworks. Pain was good at least she was feeling something now. Pain she understood. Pain she was familiar with.

Smiling in spite of the pain she said, "Nice touch."

With the smile of almost an animal stalking his prey, "You talking or you fighting."

She threw the next punch and he ducked and that was when it started. In her head she was not fighting Ivan the love of her life. In her head she was taking back control of her life. She was taking back control from her father. As he landed a kick on her ribs she something burst inside her and all she could see was her father standing over her mother as if in triumph after beating her to a plump. As the pain of jab after jab gushed through her it was as if her father was dragging her out of bed and landing punches after punches on her little defenseless body. But this time she was not defenseless or weak or just stupid. This time she knew how to fight and she was protecting herself. As she landed a few jabs and kicks of her own making sure to miss most of the once he was throwing, she felt good. She was in control and no one was taking that away from her. Never ever again.

He was tall, strong and had years of rugby training but she was fast, little and after years and years of self defense classes she could handle herself. They went at it for almost an hour bringing each other down in turns. He tried to throw a kick but she had left him the opening on purpose. So when he went for it she just launched on his shoulder and used it to propel herself onto his neck. Soon they were down and they just lay on the ground panting and hurting like hell but smiling. They just didn't have the energy to stand for another round. She knew Ivan also had his own demon to fight that was why they were so good together. They each had their own past to contend with.

"You ok down there," he asked she could hear the smile in his voice.

Groaning when she tried to get up and felt her ribs hurting like hell, "am fine just don't know if I'll be able to breathe tomorrow you got my ribs real good."

Laughing then groaning as if that laughing was painful he said, "You got my jaw real good. Tomorrow we are going to look like a bunch of banged up cars and after your last stunt I do not even think I can move my neck tomorrow."

Trying to laugh at him but it hurt like hell she answered, "We call the ambulance or you think we can drag each other to the hospital."

"I'll always choose to drag you to the hospital princess."

"You are the only guy I know who after taking a beating from a girl can call her princess."

"Yah because am the only guy who can love you," they both fell silence as they acknowledged the truth in that statement. Despite the pain he stretched his arm and she took his hand into hers and they intertwined their fingers together. "The only guy who loves you so much it actually hurts."

With that statement they closed their eyes and just lay there relishing the pain. Letting it spread through them because it was the only thing they knew. The only thing they trusted. The only thing that was familiar.

Since everything seemed ok it was almost two hours before they made it to the hospital.

Yet it was too late for him.

The last words before he flat lined had been, "I love you so much princess."

She had stood there as if in shock not wanting to believe that it was actually happening to her.

She had killed the love of her life.

She had killed him.

She had killed love.

SNEEK PEEK

DADDY CRUSH

LUCKY SERIES #3

BOOK SUMMARY

Normal people do not just go into the hospital and come back out with babies especially if they are men and they do not know the baby.......

That was the life of Leo a retired navy officer who just wants to enjoy life in solitude until on a routine check he ends up with a baby he did not expect or want. A woman who had come into the hospital wounded claimed that he was her husband and just from the desperate look in her eyes he found himself agreeing. So when the baby mama died he ended up with a baby he did not know where to begin from. Unknowledgeable about kids he would rather assemble guns, plus a baby leads to a daddy crush as they figure it out.

Sabrina knows her sister was in trouble again and when she had called him she took the first bus to the city. When she called and no one picked the phone she knew she was too late for her. Now she has to trace her sister's steps and find her niece or nephew. When she finally finds Leo will she tell him who she is? Will she help him or just pick up the baby and run...................

SNEEK PEEK
Chapter Three

Present day.

When you find yourself peeping into a man's house from the bush is when you start questioning all your life choices.

"If you want I can just come down there and steal that baby for you," Roxy said and she knew for her she actually could.

"No thanks just let me handle this in a civilized way. I will just go there and explain to him that I am the relative of that baby and then he will hand him over and we shall walk away," it felt like a cliché talking about civilization while she was a grown ass woman peeping at his house from behind the bush.

"He could be an axe welding murder or just a baby hogging madman," trust her friend to have an over active imagination.

Rolling her eyes even thou she was sure her friend could not see her, "Yes all those are real possibilities."

"Am serious thou if I do not hear from you in the next thirty minutes am coming down there."

"I can live with that," she said but Sabrina still did not hang up, talking to her friend calmed her down.

"Rose did a lot of stupid things but this is by far the most stupid thing she ever did," Roxy added and she did not disagree with her.

Her parents had named her young sister Rose and they had adored her and spoilt her rotten. They had been trying to get a second baby for a while that when she finally came there was celebration. Then when they died it was just the two of them and she kind of picked up from where they left off. By then she was only seventeen and had to raise a ten year old child. When the social services came she pretended she was eighteen so that they would not take her sister away from her. Her parents had been cleaver enough to weasel some cash away for them. Thou it was not much but plus the odd jobs she could get they managed just fine. Rose had never lacked for anything she had made damn sure of that.

Sometimes she thought that she and her parents were actually responsible for the way Rose ended up. She had done so much shit in her life sometimes even disappearing for days on end but she always knew Sabrina would be there for her. So when she had called this time she thought it was just normal sister act until the next day when she called again. To tell her that she was pregnant and heading to the hospital to give birth. Would she please meet her there?

She had taken the first bus to the city. Only she was still too late to save her baby sister this time.

Guilt ate at her, maybe if she had arrived sooner, looked for her more she would not be dead.

Tears she did not know were falling slipped down her cheeks," I still can't believe she is gone," they took a moment just to reflect. Taking a deep breath, "Yet this is not the time to be sad I have a little baby waiting for me to rescue her."

Roxy, "Go get them tiger, and remember am here for you."

As she disconnected the call she was grateful she had a friend like Roxy by her side. She did not know what she would have done without her in the last ten years.

Taking a deep breath she turned to face the house, "well here goes nothing."

*******

Leo was a reasonable and responsible man, he did his duties when he was a kid and when he was in the navy he always had his fellow sailors back. Out there alone with the threat of attack or being high jacked was a real possibility so they always had to be ready. He could work two days straight with only coffee as a backup. Hell he ran five miles daily no problem.

Yet the baby that had been crying continuous for the last two hours put him on edge. Several times he wanted to just pick her up and place her outside. Or drop her off at the nearest hospital. Or better yet just call the policemen and tell them the truth that he had technically kidnapped a baby from the hospital. All those were better options than listening to baby Bella cry over and over again for no reason. Every time he thought about it all he saw were the mother's desperate eyes so he continued to rock her as he paced around.

It was as if she knew that her mama was dead. As if she knew that he did not have a clue about what he was doing. The lady at the store had shown him how to change diapers and mix her food when he went to pick up supplies. He thought he had done it right, making sure the milk was at the right temperature before feeding her.

Suddenly she burped and just like that stopped crying and fell asleep.

Peace at last, he thought with a sigh. Slowly he placed her on the bed where he had shoved chairs around to keep her from rolling off. If she was going to live here he had to get her a crib soon

After placing her very gently on the bed afraid sudden movements would wake her up, he just sat by the bedside looking at her. Poor baby, she had a tough life ahead of her, he thought. He just hoped the demons of the mama's past would not come to haunt her in future.

He would protect her the best way he could, he thought as he stood up and started to straighten up. It was amazing how quickly a house could get dirty with a baby in it. They had only been around two hours and it was like everything was dirty. He liked his house clean, he was not OCD by any chance, the Navy had just taught him that everything had its place. He loved everything being in its rightful place.

He was cleaning up the kitchen sink when the doorbell rung. Afraid it would wake up Bella after it had taken him hours to put her to sleep he rushed to answer.

A short, curvaceous woman holding two paper bags stood by the door. The first thing he noted about her was that she looked harassed.

Before he could ask her if he could help her she had shouldered her way in.

"Well hope you are hungry, I make a mean pancake," she said as she proceeded to the kitchen as if she owned the place. He was still standing there gapping after her when he had pans move around in the kitchen.

Well it seemed today was the day strange people walked into his life, he thought as he closed the door and followed her to the kitchen.

This ought to be interesting.

TRUGDING THROUGH 24

BOOK SUMMARY

Follow me through the adventures of life from being chased down by a cow to being best friends with a goat.

As I brave the cold outside world of being a young adult.

Broke but still pretty fun...

I tried to update the story daily with something fun for you to laugh at.

And of course most of them are exaggerated. Chuckle.

What is the fun in reality?.

People always wish, men especially that women came with a manual, well the secret is ice-cream and chocolate,, find out more.

Hope the tips and my experiences help you and make you laugh.

## SNEEK PEEK

## TRUDGING THROUGH 24

## CHAPTER ONE

## SIMPLE FACTS

There was one article published that being twenty four is the hardest part of life. I am inclined to believe that article. After all the article was written by a scientist and science is never wrong.

The one thing I wish I was taught when I was younger was that no one will ever save you. You have to save yourself.

People will let you down and break your heart.

It is going to happen and when you are down there, they will give you advice that you do not want to listen too.

You are not the first to go through this.

He was not worth it.

Like that is going to help with the pain. I know he was not worth it why do you think am coiled up here bawling my eyes out like a baby on PCP? Dumbass.

So today right here right now I am here to tell you that it will get better. I know I know I am one of the dumbasses.

It has to get better or what is even the point in the pain anyway? What is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this? What is the point to life? What is my purpose?

When I was sixteen I knew what I wanted to be, exactly what I was going to be.

I was going to be a neuroseurgeon like Ben Carson, ok maybe I do not know the correct spelling for neurosurgeon that does not mean I would not have made a damn good one. Probably I would have been the very best. The field of medicine lost a great doctor the day I did not pass my exam enough to join the medical school. There loss. Or so I keep telling myself.

The moment I turned eighteen years old all my problems started.

I just wish someone could take me back to that moment I stepped out of high school with all the knowledge I have now. Trust me the world has not been a soft teacher. It's like the aspect of teach her and let her learn at her own pace left when I was a child. Right now it's more like teach her and flog her until she learns the lesson.

Adulthood; I am rolling my eyes right now.

When I was a child I had such simple goals.

I wanted to be an adult so that I could get the drumstick part of the chicken. That part was reserved for the adults, us kids were served the wings and if people were many, legs. Another reason I wanted to be an adult was so that I could get to put as much sugar in tea as possible. My mum used to put sugar when she was cooking so no matter how little she put that was all you were getting. Touching the sugar dish resulted in flogging of a lifetime. I used to feel like I was being punished and given tasteless tea.

Right now I drink tea with no sugar and it is my choice. That says something about life ironies.

So we have come to the decision that I did not want so much as a kid, if you would have given me ten chicken drumsticks and a bag full of sugar I would be a very happy kid.

When I was in my teens all I wanted was to be a doctor and I also failed to achieve that so there is that. But now that I hear doctors are on strike for poor pay I am like maybe it was for the best.

What has the world come to when doctors and pilots are striking? Those were the jobs we were told as kids to work hard for. When you were found sketching out a drawing in the corner somewhere it was torn in pieces and a science book shoved in your hand. Like drawing is bad, reading science to be doctor good. Now to see all the doctors running and throwing stones at the government I am like you are supposed to be the smartest of us. What's up with that?

Okay I am rumbling back to the point.

What was I even talking about?

Ooh right, the terrors of being a twenty four year old girl or is it woman?

That's even confusing. Just like everything about the age itself.

Okay so I was saying that this was the age I thought I would be graduating with a degree in Engineering. Very fancy right? I thought so too.

When I did not get into medicine I thought hey why not go for the second best. Engineering. It did not matter that it had two of the things that scared me most in life. Wires and electricity.

I was never a curious kid; not in any aspect of life. When mum said do not watch the soap opera in the television when I am gone I watched cartoon until she came back. Okay maybe I peeked a little but I absolutely did not watch it.

Dad said do not touch my stuff when I am away I would just rearrange it so that I could wipe the table. But whatever I saw when I was cleaning does not count. Okay maybe I was nosy but I was never curious about how the television worked or even the principle behind how the iron box worked.

As long as it worked I was happy and my solution to all the not working stuff? Hit it till it works. With four years of education tucked under my belt in engineering school that is still my number one policy. Works like a charm.

Look at me rumbling again.

So we have established am not really a good student.

Twenty four was supposed to be my year of graduating and getting my first job and moving out on my own and being my own woman. Then life happened. And it always happens in order.

• First on the list, after high school there are boys. There is just that one boy who has also finished high school and he loves you so much he is going to build you a house. You will have 2.5 kids and live happily ever after. You are happy, he is happy. Clouds are flouting all over and everything is rainbows and unicorns and ice-cream. Nothing can ever beat ice-cream. I am here to tell you Bullshit. It's all bullshit.

He will get your virginity maybe even give you a kid if you are unlucky. Then he will skip out on you. Ooh some stick around, for a year or so then like smoke gone. I know its harsh honey but reality sucks just got to get used to it now.

Then from there your life goes downhill and it always goes down in three ways. People love having options so I am giving you some;

1) You love the guy he leaves you not now maybe, but soon. Look out it's always around the corner.

2) He gets you pregnant and leaves or uses the kid as an excuse to come back to your life after he left and be like that is my kid I have a right to be in his life. Then he messes up your life for six months then he leaves again. Okay why was this not option one?

3.) You realize the greatest thing in life is sex and you want to have it as often as you can with as many men as you can.

Ha-ha none of this happened to me, especially not number three. Wink wink.

Anyway from that its downhill you go and before you know it you are asking yourself who am I? What are my principles? When did my life get here?

• Second on the list are people and parents. They have expectations, they have advice and most important they know more than you do. They are great; especially our parents come on without them we will not be here.

Okay what was I talking about? The landlord came by with a bunch of forms for me to fill.

Landlords. Forms. Bureaucracy. Triple eye roll.

If I deviate from the topic again bear with me.

Okay parents. They are great people. They have feed you, clothed you and put a roof over your head for twenty four years. If you are still living at home raise your hands. I am. Points to them when you get home drunk in the morning and you pretend you are not drunk they believe you. Or pretend to believe you. Come on they were not born yesterday.

Parents are great all round.

But then in comes the expectations.

And more expectations.

Especially if you are a good kid and passed your exams. I am like why is life punishing me for being smart. I did everything right, I woke up at four took a cold shower and slept very late just so I could finish that assignment.

Okay this was before I realized that there are romantic novels, I did all that but this time just to finish that one more book. Ha-ha.

Novels are the greatest thing on earth. And coffee is great too. Novels plus coffee equals pure bliss.

Where was I again? This book is as confused as me.

Okay so I did everything right and achieved all I could in life at that time. I joined engineering school and people be looking at me like you are doing engineering that is so awesome you are so smart. Parents are looking at you like you are going to get a really good job. Cha-Ching. All our problems are over my daughter is smart.

I am like hello guy's school is kicking my butt all the way through Sunday. I do not even know if I will graduate in the first place. All the fails I see on the notice board when I go to look at my results can make a girl blind.

And people be like she is going to get a first class honor work at Safaricom be rich and live in some really big building. You are so great.

I should point it out to them that there are no jobs in Kenya; some people tarmac for five years before they are employed. Others end up counting cars for twelve hundred or twelve dollars a day. I did not totally do that recently. Sigh.

As a people pleaser all I want to do is do better be better, but I can't. Not that I do not want to. Maybe if I want to I can study more so that my grades would not have so many fails. Sigh.

Someone hide me in there country.

• Third thing on their list is money and odd jobs; they literally run away from you and you have got to be creative to make even a little. You are grown up now so no one gives you money anymore for small things. Ever.

You want that pretty pink perfume that is just 500 shillings? Isn't it just pretty? We all want it, deal with it, you are not getting it unless you raise your own money. And trust me when you work for that money you will not buy a perfume. Too painful. So it ends up being a full cycle. Life. Sigh.

You hear people have stolen millions even billions and you are like where have this people got all this money from? I also want to steal some please. I do not have money for dinner and I do not know the last time I had some water. Am so thirsty and some idiot goes ahead to steal millions and billions of taxpayer's money!

What really pisses me off is that you hear doctors have gone on strike. People are dying in hospitals and new born babies are dying as soon as they are born. They are innocent they did not do anything to deserve what they are going through and you find some idiot stole health care money and am like really fool. Really!

You steal money the doctors do not get paid a new born child dies. You killed that baby. You actually strangled them. You steal money; new equipment not delivered an old man fighting for life gets dead. You are a murderer.

You monster.

Then the people's choice seat there and be like we are looking into it. You are looking into crap.

You are crap.

The opposition be like; we told you so your government is crap.

I am like; we know you know. Do something about it don't just stand there and do nothing,

And opposition be like; they choose.

We know we are stupid, you know we are stupid. Help us before we decide to help our self.

Government. Eye roll.

Politics. Triple eye roll.

Just look at that adorable face you killed.

Please do not come for me at my door. I have security cameras. (Laughing like it's a conspiracy.)

I love the truth.

Okay where was I? Am so sorry I got sidetracked.

I was giving you advice on how to go through the most difficult age on earth.

Okay those are the three major points you need to navigate that if you manage this life would be better. Find a way I do not believe in much but I do believe in you. You are a champion. Okay am done for today see you tomorrow.

Sorry to some famous writer who said I had to get to ten pages a day I got tired and am hungry. Tullos. Is that even how that is spelled? Who cares? Food and movies await my return. I never learn. Sigh.

Okay I went to buy food and I followed some mad man home. Tell you all about it tomorrow. Goodnight.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lynn Achieng lives in Nairobi Kenya and comes from a family with many teachers. Being a student of Electrical Engineering she is widely read and knows the struggles most people go through.

She started writing romance novels when she was just a little girl and now she spares all the time she can get to develop her writing. She is still new in the publishing world and would appreciate all the reviews on her book. Hopefully this will be the beginning of a beautiful relationship between her and you.

Email her with any concerns or ideas at _sashaaludbe@gmail_.com and she will take the time to reply and appreciate you all.

Thanks.

