 
### Seth Jackson Perry

### Memories

By Seth Jackson Perry

Published by Jean Marx of TimeFlys, Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 Seth Jackson Perry

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Table of Contents

Part I: Ancestry

Chapter 1 –Ancestry

Part II: My Childhood Years

Chapter 2 – My Early Years

Chapter 3 - School Years and Other Memories Growing Up

Part III: Career, Married Life, and Family

Chapter 4 – Joining the Navy

Chapter 5 - Early Navy Memories & Meeting Bette

Chapter 6 – Navy Life, including My Life with Bette

Chapter 7 – The Stock Market

Chapter 8 - Memorable Experiences during my Navy Career

Chapter 9 – Pam
Part IV: Mature Years

Chapter 10 – Milly

Chapter 11 – Reflections

Acknowledgement

Appendix: Pictures & Special Memorabilia

#  Chapter 1 – Ancestry

Perry Family (emigrated from England or Scotland)  
My Great-Great Grandparents:  
John and Betsy Phillips

My Great-Grandparents:  
Pressley Phillips and Mary Pearce

My Grandparents:  
William Worth Perry, born March 7, 1846 in Rolesville, NC, died June 25, 1912  
Marriage to Eliza Melissa Phillips on November 19, 1873  
Eliza Melissa Phillips, born May 12, 1855 near Riley Cross Roads, NC,  
died December 31, 1909  
Religion: Baptist

They had 10 children: **  
**(1) Rosa Glen (Loe) Perry  
Born February 15, 1874 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died September 1, 1960

(2) Eva Addie Perry  
Born February 10, 1877 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died July 10, 1971

(3) Alice Ann Perry  
Born December 9, 1879 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died September 12, 1984

(4) Zoie Julia (Doe) Perry  
Born March 5, 1882 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died August 9, 1966

(5) Alice Kate Perry (My Mother)  
Born August 13, 1884 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died January 29, 1985

(6) Mary Frances (Fannie) Perry  
Born December 25, 1886 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died April 9, 1963

(7) William Worth Perry, Jr.  
Born June 30, 1890 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died January 20, 1946

(8) Juanita Margaret (Nita) Perry  
Born February 14, 1892 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died January 13, 1984

(9) Lila Mae Perry  
Born May 11, 1895 in Riley Cross Roads, NC

(10) Pauline Vivian Perry  
Born November 20, 1897 in Riley Cross Roads, NC  
Died November 12, 1991

Alice Kate Perry   
Born August 13, 1884 in Riley Cross Roads, NC, died January 29, 1985  
1st Marriage to Albert Sidney Johnson on April 3, 1904  
Albert died in the Influenza Epidemic in 1919  
(Note: Albert's brother Sonny married Kate's sister Nita)

Kate and Albert had 7 children: **  
**(1) Helen  
Born in 1905

(2) Eileen  
Note: Kate lived with Eileen until Kate died

(3) Daphine

(4) Wilbur

(5) Alice Mae

(6) Alberta

(7) Louise

**2nd Marriage to Seth Jackson Perry (My Father) -- sometime between 1919 – 1922  
** Kate and Seth had 1 child: **  
**Seth Jackson Perry, Jr., born May 13, 1922

3rd Marriage to Grover Pulley (approx. 1929) – (My Father figure)

Jarvis Family (Bette's Family)  
Bette's Paternal Grandparents:  
Solomon T. Jarvis, born in Ireland  
Marriage to Mary Bryson, born in Ireland

Bette's Maternal Grandparents:  
Alexander Nevin, born in Ireland  
Marriage to Elizabeth, born in Ireland

Bette's Parents:  
Howard William Jarvis, born in Philadelphia, PA  
Marriage to Hazel E. Nevin, born in Philadelphia, PA

Mary Elizabeth Jarvis, born May 15, 1922  
Marriage to Seth Jackson Perry on February 26, 1946

# Chapter 2 – My Early Years

I was born on a farm in North Carolina in May, 1922 about 18 miles from Raleigh. I'm another Abe Lincoln: I, too, was born in a log cabin consisting of 2 rooms with a small kitchen attached. The house had no electricity or running water. It was heated by a single wood burning fireplace. The kitchen also had a wood burning cook stove.

We were tenant farmers, growing tobacco, cotton, corn, and all our vegetables. Every farmer had a mule, to till the land, a cow for milk and butter, and hogs for meat. During the summer, all the vegetables were grown and canned for use during the winter. The hogs were slaughtered and prepared (salted) for use during the year. The hogs were stored in the smokehouse.

I had 6 half-sisters and 1 half-brother. My mother's 1st husband, Albert, died in 1919 from a worldwide flu epidemic which killed 8 million people. After his death, my mother married my father. However, they were divorced before I was born—why, I don't know—I never asked my mother.

When my mother was married to Albert Johnson, they had owned the country store together. Everyone would shop there, for things like flour, sugar, cigarettes, snuff, etc.—anything they needed. They also had a post office there. She was in good shape financially and would have continued that way had Albert not died from the flu in 1919. Of course, I would never have been born. After Albert died, she had to sell the store, which she sold to her brother.

My mother was the most important person in my life while I was growing up. She had a strong religious faith—she read through the Bible 18 times during her life, a great work ethic, a spirit of generosity, and a love for learning. She instilled these traits in me which have lasted all my life.

My mother was a seamstress in addition to being a farmer's wife. At that time during the 30's, the companies would make feed sacks with printed patterns on them. All the farmers would use these for clothes. That's what I wore—a little sack dress. One of the first things I remember was standing out in the yard watching birds. I remember I had one of these sack dresses on. I think I was between 2 – 4 years old.

My mother would go out and sew all day long. Most farmers had many children. This one farmer had 5 daughters. All the farmers would use these printed feed sacks to make dresses. This particular farmer would come get my mother before daylight (between 4:00 – 5:00 am), and she'd stay all day until it got dark again sewing dresses for the farmer's daughters. She'd sit there and sew all day and probably made 10 or so sack dresses. She got $1.00 for this. When she came home, she'd give the $1.00 to me and tell me to use it for school. It was unbelievable to me how generous she was.

Early Farm Life – circa 1926-1932  
Kids, like they are today, wanted to help with everything, normally causing more trouble than they helped. By doing things and "helping out", though, they learned how to do things.

Life on the farm was pretty hard, especially if you were a tenant farmer. Half of whatever you grew from the farm went to the owner. Our cash crops were tobacco and cotton, of which we got to keep ½: about $500 - $600 for the entire year.

You had to take the tobacco to market in the fall. You had to do everything right on time or you'd lose your money crop. The women would sit in a strip room and would grade the tobacco into 4 grades. They'd separate the leaves based on their quality and sort it into these 4 piles. You could tell by looking at the leaves which grade they were. The highest grade was 1 for the finest leaves (and you'd get the most money for this grade), 2nd best would be a 2 and so on. The last grade would be called Trash. They'd make snuff out of the Trash. You sold everything. At market, your tobacco was placed in baskets for the auctioneers to inspect and buy. The best tobacco would bring 65-67 cents per pound. This was in the late 30's or so. The market was 15-20 miles away. You'd get up at 3:00 am and take your tobacco to the market in a wagon drawn by a mule. The auctioneer would arrive around 8:00 am. The auctioneer would then go down all the rows at around 9:00 am and begin auctioning the tobacco. A guy would drop a tag on the tobacco as it was sold, and you'd settle up later and go home.

I have wonderful memories of Grover coming home from the market at about 9:00 pm, and he'd bring with him a slice of cheese (from a cheese wheel) that he'd bought at the market. It was like a piece of cake. It was one of the greatest things to wait up for him to get home. He'd always bring about ½ pound – 1 pound of cheese with him. I don't think we ever had the cheese any other time other than those market days. He'd also bring with him a handful of soda crackers that he'd bought from a bin. It was such a treat to eat the cheese and crackers.

We received our water from a well which also served as a refrigerator. We could lower the milk down in a container in the well to keep it cool. We also had a wonderful bathroom—the famous outhouse—with a Sears Roebuck catalog for toilet paper! Or, you could always use the woods nearby, but it sure was mighty cold in the winter!

Since I grew up during the height of the Depression, I remember that on many occasions, there was a scarcity of food. One thing I will never forget is that we ate cornbread (we took corn to a local mill for milling) and black-eyed peas morning, noon, and night. Needless to say, I went quite a few years before I even liked each of them again. I love both now.

I also remember a time when I was somewhere between 3 – 8 years old. It was during the Depression. I remember walking to the country store. It was a couple mile walk round trip. (It was safe to walk in the country at that time). The lady at the country store gave me a little bag of flour to bring home for biscuits. We all had a big party that night because it was such a treat.

Walking to the store was so hot. There was a farmer that lived a mile or so in the opposite direction. There were very few cars at that time. (Even airplanes were so rare, that if anyone heard an airplane flying, they'd come running outside to look up at the sky to see it). This guy drove by many times without ever picking me up. I remember thinking as he drove by me that I swore that if I ever had enough money one day, I would buy the biggest car in the world. I did end up buying a huge Lincoln Town Car, and I can trace it back to that memory as to when I first wanted one.

Another thing I should mention is that everyone—husbands, wives, and children—all worked on the farm. The men did all the heavy stuff: tilling the land, procuring the wood for the winter, etc. The women did the cooking, cleaning, chopping tobacco and cotton, etc.

Since the houses back then had no electricity, the only way to keep cool in the summer months was to open the doors and windows. As I mentioned, the heat for winter was from a single fireplace in one room and a wood burning cook stove in the kitchen.

We wore the same clothes all week. We had to wash our face and hands to come to the table to eat. My mother didn't allow any caps to be worn at the table. We always said blessings before we ate. We got a bath every Saturday (whether we wanted it or not)! We never did work on Sundays, and we always went to church. We would walk there, which was 1 ½ - 2 miles each way. This was the only time we dressed up. We would only eat out once or twice a year, and that would normally be at a hot dog stand.

In the spring, I "chopped cotton". This involved starting at the beginning of a row of small cotton plants and making your way to the end of the row. The row could be any length, from a few yards to 100 or so yards. You had to chop weeds away from the plant so that the cotton plants' growth would not be inhibited.

In the fall after a long, hot summer (when the words "hot and humid" are defined in the dictionary with a picture of a summer in North Carolina!), it was time to pick the cotton. This is where I come in, since I made my first dollar picking cotton and in my story, you'll see why earning this dollar meant and still means so much to me to this day.

How I Earned My First Dollar and a Lesson in Life – (Age 5-6) – circa 1927-1928  
Mechanized cotton pickers didn't exist at this time. The cotton was picked by all family members. It took me about all season to pick enough to get paid a dollar. I will never forget the time when they said I had enough cotton for it to be weighed. I remember distinctly that I had one of those 10-lb. cloth bags on my shoulder and that's what I put my pickings into.

If you know anything about cotton, you know that the fluffy balls of cotton are extremely light. It takes a lot of cotton balls for the scales to even begin to register. Being paid by the weight of cotton you pick is a hard way to earn a living. I was so proud of the pennies and nickels I had earned each day, but I learned at an early age that I did not want to chop or pick cotton for the rest of my life. I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I knew it wasn't a farmer.

As with any work we did, it was based on doing something that would make the person for whom you were toiling happy enough to reward you with your pay. My mother was such a role model—she provided for me at such an early age in so many ways.

No matter how old, mature and experienced we become in life, this general model of working in order to gain the good will of another (and to be rewarded) remain our common denominator by which to judge a relationship, whether the relationship is one of employment, friendship, or romance. We humans operate on the principle that hard work is necessary to gain favors to others and to prosper.

Perhaps the hardest thing for us to do is to accept how much God really loves us and that everything comes from Him. I guess that's what life is all about: What He has done for each of us, rather than what we feel we have done, produced, or contributed.

# Chapter 3 \- School Years & Other Memories Growing Up in the Mid - 1930's

Primary School  
The schools in North Carolina when I was growing up were not the greatest. We had no kindergarten, only Elementary School, called "Primary" (grades 1-7) and High School (grades 8-11). High school ended at 11th grade.

I went to Primary in Rolesville. Rolesville was about 7 miles from my house; therefore, I had to take a bus to school. The bus came very early (7:00 am). Since the bus turned around at my house, I didn't have to walk any distance like I did going to high school. The school day ran from 8:00 am – 3:30 pm. Unlike today, we stayed in the same room for all of our subjects. Only the teachers changed. I returned home at about 4:00 pm each day.

We also had to buy our own books and supplies. As a result, I don't ever remember having a new book. That wasn't anything to me, because most everything I had were hand-me-downs. My clothes were seldom new, but you could bet your life that, while old and patched, they would be clean. My mother was very particular about making sure our clothes were always clean.

I played games during recess at school. After school and during the summer I, like all farm boys and girls, worked in the fields picking cotton and raising tobacco, corn, and other crops. Since I lived so far away, I never got to participate in the normal after-school things like sports, boy scouts, etc. Most farm boys had to work on the farm anyway, especially in the Fall and Spring. I feel like I missed out on a lot of things in my school years.

I remember that you'd better be quiet, attentive, and respectful or you were punished. During the spring and fall, it was stifling hot. There were approximately 25 students in each class. I used to bring a bag lunch, and many times all I would have in my lunch bag was a sweet potato with butter on it. I wasn't the smartest student. My grades were C's and D's. Sometimes I would get a B and, on rare occasions, an A, which made me very happy.

All farm kids had to work after school. There was always something to be done such as picking up the tobacco stalks, picking cotton in the fall, cleaning out the animal waste in the barn, and on and on. I would change out of my school clothes, grab a sweet potato or piece of chicken or something to eat, and go do my chores.

Church Picnic  
One big event that stands out in my mind was the annual church picnic. The church rented a big truck and we all stood in the back and went down to another affiliated church about 20-30 miles away. I must've been 10-12 years old. I remember standing up in the back with the wind blowing. All the farmers' wives would bring fried chicken, potato salad, pickled beets, and sandwiches made with "light" bread. It's actually white bread, but we called it light bread. One of the biggest things I remember is having a banana sandwich on light bread. It was delicious. It was so special, since we only ate the equivalent of 2 or 3 loaves of light bread in all my years growing up. It was also a big deal because this was the first time I ever remember going anywhere, and it was probably also my first time I was ever in a car. It was almost like Christmas.

My Teeth  
Another big event that had a large impact on me was when I broke my 2 front teeth. I was around 8 or 9 at the time. This happened when we were playing tag at school. The back of a school bus was home base. I turned around to get back to home and hit the back of the bus. That's when I broke my teeth. I was old enough to have my permanent teeth.

My teeth abscessed and almost killed me before they found out what was wrong. I think this was my first trip to a doctor. I had to learn how to speak without my 2 front teeth. This was the case until I was about 12-14 years old. You can imagine how much I was made fun of and called "Snaggle Tooth". When I got to be 12-14, I got 2 new teeth and had to learn to speak all over again. There are words today that I still can't pronounce.

Girls  
I remember when I was in grade school having lots of girlfriends (at least I thought so). One time a few of my 'girlfriends' were in a round-about and found out how I felt about them. My buddies and I liked girls, but as pre-teens in the late 20's and early 30's, we couldn't bring ourselves to tell them, (we might be rejected). My friend Harold and I used to play a game to know for certain how a special girl felt about us. We would pick a daisy and begin to pluck its petals. As we plucked each petal, we would chant: "She loves me—She loves me not—She loves me..." This game was said to have the power to reveal whether the object of our affection felt the same about us as we did about them. It sounds so silly now, but we believed at that time that the last petal on the daisy would reveal the answer we desired. ('Course if it didn't come out right, we would do it all over again)!

I had my "first love" at about 12 or 13. My math teacher was Doris Horton. I thought she was just beautiful, and I was in love. I just knew that she liked me also.

When I was 14, I would walk about 2 miles on Sunday afternoons after church to see who I thought (again) was the most beautiful girl in the world. I thought we would be married and have a big family one day. To this day, I remember walking back home on Sunday nights. I had to pass by a graveyard. I remember that I would walk on the far side of the dirt road and walk very fast.

Games  
Another one of the games we would play was shooting marbles. We would draw a round circle on the ground and place marbles in the center. We'd take turns trying to knock the marbles out of the ring. The one that knocked out the most marbles won the game. This was a very popular game. Some kids got to be real good. By the way, I was very good--I had a steel shooter which could really knock the marbles a long way.

High School  
I began my high school years at Wakelon High School in Zebulon, North Carolina. Since the school bus didn't come by my house, I had to walk approximately 1 mile to catch the school bus. This was through the woods on a dirt path to where the bus stopped. Needless to say, it wasn't always a pleasant walk, with the changing weather, especially in the winter. I remember that my pants would get all wet while walking through the tall grass. Since the people where the school bus stopped had a boy about my age, they would let me come into their house and stand by the fireplace to get warm and dry off before the bus came.

The school was about 8 miles away. Living on a farm, I had to come home and do farm work after school, especially in the fall and spring. Even though I couldn't participate in after-school activities, I did get to do some things that a lot of my friends at school couldn't do, like hunting and fishing. There were some years I went without missing a single day of school or church. My mother would always say "At school you are supposed to be learning" and "At church you have to behave for a little while".

We didn't have counselors in our school to guide or give advice on what to do. Somehow I knew I didn't like this kind of life. As I look back on my school years, I'm very happy that things turned out the way they did. I can thank my mother for always being there to guide and encourage me. She always stressed you have to get a good education and to be thankful for what you have.

Another Way I Earned Money  
One year I remember Grover telling me that I could have the next calf. Everybody had a cow which you would breed each year so you could get milk and butter. He said if I got up and built a fire everyday during the winter, that I could have the next calf. I did that, and I nursed the calf by letting it eat in the tall grass. I got it castrated so it would be larger before I sold it. I brought it to a guy to buy it, and I remember that the calf weighed about 200 pounds. I sold it to him for $40. Then I bought 2 sows. I then bred them. Every farmer would buy these tiny pigs at 6 weeks old and raise them to be large and heavy. I would sell the piglets for $5 apiece.

One time I remember breeding a sow that had 12 little pigs. I was so lucky--I made $60. My mom would let me keep anything I made. That's basically what I went through school with to buy books, supplies, etc.

I was always a bit of a hustler. I remember one time thinking I was going to make a fortune selling furs. I bought some steel traps and laid them down in a cow pasture ½ mile to a mile away, along the stream. I was going to catch minks. I don't know what the hell I was thinking—what would I do to turn them into furs?

I was also a paper delivery boy. I sold copies of the newspaper called the Grit. I looked up the paper and it still exists. It's the oldest paper in America. They'd send me 3-5 in the mail, and I'd deliver them. I was always trying to make money.

Country Store & Penny Candy  
Another memory that stands out was all the penny candy that I would get when I went to the country store. Each community would have a store that carried everything that was needed. We had very little money, but we always had a big bunch of chickens. One of my chores was to walk to the store about a mile away to get what we needed. Over the years, I must have carried a room full of eggs and a lot of chickens to buy things.

My mother would always give me one egg to buy candy. I sold eggs for as little as 8 cents a dozen. I will never forget how embarrassed I was to walk in the store with the eggs. I shouldn't have been embarrassed, because everyone would sell chickens and eggs or anything else they had; however, it was so hard walking in the store with the eggs or chickens.

Memories of Christmas  
We got very little for Christmas. We'd always hang up our stockings. My mother would make me say a prayer every night, the one that starts with "And now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep...". Well, I would say this prayer especially at Christmastime, hoping I might get a little something more. Cowboy movies were starting to be popular in the 30's. There were some gloves with a tassel hanging down. I got a pair of those one year which was a big treat. They probably cost 35 cents or so, but that was still a lot of money to us.

Everybody shopped with the Sears Roebuck catalog. It was the source for everything from clothes, dishes, furniture, etc. One very special Christmas memory was that I got a pair of high top shoes. I was about 8 years old or so. These were the kind where farmers hoped the snow would get deep enough to be able to wear them. They had rawhide shoelaces. I was so proud of those.

This same Christmas I also got a .22 rifle. No one has believed this, but I swear it's true: The first time I went hunting, I shot and killed a rabbit!

Another year for Christmas I got a bike. I must have been around 10 years old. My mother had somehow found this used bike and got someone to paint it black. I remember it so clearly in my mind. This was the only big thing that I ever received while growing up. I was so proud of it. I even tried to keep it in the house, but my mother soon stopped that.

Most of the time we'd just get our stocking filled with apples and oranges and small Brazilian nuts. We called the Brazilian nuts "nigger toes". That's just what we called them. I didn't think anything about the name. We'd get 2 or 3 of these nuts, 2 or 3 English walnuts, an apple and an orange, and some Christmas candy. You'd walk around with the stocking until it was all gone. It was the same for the other kids, too. We were all in the same boat, so you never felt bad that some kids got more than others back then.

They were very austere Christmases. I remember being so appreciative for what we got, since what we got was so little. I wouldn't change any of it, as I think the hard times helped to make me the kind of person I am today.

Joe Louis Fight – 1934  
I remember in 1934 that Joe Louis won the championship. At the next farm (about ½ - 1 mile up from us), the farmer had a radio. That was a big deal, since almost nobody had a radio back then. I remember it was a red radio, and the family had a big stack of batteries next to it to power it (since we had no electricity). We all went to the guy's house to listen to the fight. That was my first time listening to a radio. The sound was terrible, but it was very exciting, and it remains a wonderful memory for me.

School Years and Other Memories Growing Up in the Mid – Late 1930's

Farm Work in My High School Years  
As I've said, the years on a farm weren't too exciting. In the summer, everyone had jobs to do. We farmed tobacco, cotton, and corn. These crops require lots of work starting in early spring through September.

Each family had chickens, hogs, and cows. The cow would provide milk and butter for most of the year. The hogs were slaughtered in late September or October. The meat was prepared and salted, stored in the smokehouse for use during the coming year. The chickens provided eggs and food. Whenever you felt like chicken, you could go out in the yard, kill one, and have fried chicken for supper. In the wintertime, we hunted squirrels and rabbits and would eat them whenever we got home from hunting.

By the time you were in high school, you were a teenager. Therefore, you were doing almost any and all types of work. After school in the spring and fall, you would change clothes, get something to eat, and then start doing whatever had to be done at that time. The spring was an extremely busy time since all the preparations for the coming summer had to be accomplished. This entailed plowing and preparing the fields. Then, all the crops such as cotton, tobacco, and corn would need to be planted at a certain time in order to get the maximum productivity and price from each.

After the summer, the fall comes and all the crops need to be harvested and prepared for the winter. In the late summer and early fall, the women prepared and canned the vegetables for use during the winter. The hogs would have grown to be 300 – 400 pounds. They are slaughtered, salted, and stored in the smokehouse for use during the winter. My part in all this was to do whatever was needed at that time. Depending on what stage, it might involve chopping the weeds and grass from the cotton.

As the summer progressed, things got to be very hectic. This was because these crops, especially tobacco, are very time-sensitive. This is unique to tobacco that's used for cigarettes. It has to be grown and harvested at the correct time in order to obtain the highest price.

The tobacco we grew was used for cigarettes. The working day in the summertime would be normally from light to dark. Since there was no mechanized equipment on the farm then, the livestock had to be fed and watered before light so that the days were even longer (from 12 – 18 hours long).

The Art of Growing Tobacco  
Tobacco starts from a little tiny seed, even smaller than a sesame seed. You'd plant them into virgin soil in January and you'd lay logs around the plant bed. You'd then cover the bed with a thin white cloth called "plant bed cloth" to keep the seeds from freezing. By February, the plants would start coming up. You'd have to carefully tend the plants as they grew. Tobacco is like a baby all the way until you harvest and ultimately sell it.

To get the field ready for planting the tobacco, you first had to plow the soil into rows of mounds. This was accomplished by plowing down one side of the row and then up the other side. You would plant the small tobacco plants (which are about the size of a tomato plant) about 18 to 20 inches apart. Normally, the small children (7-12 years old) would drop the plants on the mound of dirt while an older person set the plant into the soil. This was called setting the tobacco. You'd be bending over kissing the ground all day to set the plants.

One point to make is that even as a young kid (like Pete's age), you'd still be putting in a long day's work. Tobacco plants grow to be as tall as your shoulders. The leaves are big. With cigarette tobacco, you take the bottom 2-4 leaves every five to seven days. When the tobacco gets to a certain stage, the bottom leaves turn a different color than the top leaves. You've got to get the bottom leaves on basically the exact day. If you get to them a day too early or a day too late, the tobacco cures differently. You want a real golden leaf. You'd keep doing this (called priming the tobacco) as time went on—for 6-8 weeks.

As you were priming the leaves, they were carried to the barn where they were strung onto sticks about 5 feet long. This was required so that the tobacco could be cured. (Remember, this had to be done each week until all the tobacco was gathered). Not only would you work all day gathering the tobacco, but then you had to cure this week's batch. The curing process was quite involved. The temperature had to be carefully controlled. You started out with a low temperature (about 100 degrees) and you'd gradually increase it to about 200 degrees over a period of 4-5 days.

One of the jobs my sister Alberta didn't like in particular was "worming" the tobacco. This would involve looking for and finding the worms on the tobacco leaves and crushing their heads. These worms were green, had a horn on their tail, and could grow to about 3 inches long. It would only take 7-10 days or so for the worms to grow to 3 inches long. You would just lift up his back and squish his head. You'd leave him hanging there, and he'd coil up and finally drop off the plant. There could be 4-6 on each stalk.

The worms could eat a whole leaf of tobacco in a day. One way to control them was to spray arsenic of lead on the plant. (They found out years later that this may have caused cancer).

You'd also need to pull off the suckers from the plants. (Suckers are little growths between the stalk and the leaf of the tobacco plant). If you didn't pull them off, they could choke off the tobacco plants and hurt their growth. The bigger the tobacco leaves grew, the more money you could get. Pulling off the suckers would cause your fingers to blister. You had to do this about once a week. Your hands would get all black and covered in tar. You'd have to wash your hands with lye soap to try to get the black stuff off.

In September-October, the women would sort the tobacco in what was called a strip room (pretty primitive). Buckets of water were used in the barn the night before the sorting (grading) began. This would make the tobacco leaves pliable and soft. The women would take the leaves and begin sorting them. They'd take 3-4 leaves at a time and sort them along wooden pegs depending on their grade (highest to lowest, the lowest grade being considered Trash). The Trash would only get about 5 cents a pound. The women would sit there all day long and grade the tobacco; then you had to tie it up to keep it moist.

In all, we'd probably make $600 per year with the tobacco crop, and you had to give $300 of it to the farmer who owned the land. By the end of the year, you might finally have time off in November or December.

I used to crumble the leaves and roll them in a piece of a paper bag and smoke it. I started smoking when I was about 12 years old. Once, my friend and I lit up a cigar in the garden. Out in the country you could smell it from a mile away. (Of course we never thought about this!) I thought for sure no one would know what we were doing. Then all of a sudden I heard this, "SJ, who's smoking that cigar?" I thought "How'd she know about that?" That tells you how naïve kids are.

Another thing I remember is that everyone carried around a pack of cigarettes—mostly you rolled your own all week, and if you were lucky, you could buy yourself a pack of Camels for the weekend and take a pen and smoke them right to the end. Sometimes you'd even burn your lips! Occasionally, you'd have a few leftover on Monday but normally you smoked all of them.

The last year before I left for the Navy I think I started smoking in front of my mother. I always wondered how she knew I was smoking. Everybody carried their cigarettes around in their shirt pocket, and little tiny pieces of the tobacco came out. When they came out and got wet, they'd stain the shirt. My mom would ask me, "Have you been smoking?" When I'd say no, she'd say, "Are you sure?" You didn't dare lie! Mothers are so smart—she knew anyway.

# Chapter 4 – Joining the Navy

As I have previously stated, I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up. I just knew that I didn't like the farm life. During my last years of high school, a guy that had graduated the year before came to school one day in his white navy uniform. That was it for me. I knew from then on that I wanted to join the Navy. Maybe that's how things happen, but I just knew that the Navy was my bus ticket off the farm.

My mother was not too happy with this idea, but I persuaded her that this was what I wanted to do with my life. The week after high school, I enlisted, and the rest is history.

Making Weight  
I graduated from high school on or around May 10th. In the meantime (during the months of April and in early May), I did all the pre-physical requirements. All that I had left to do was to pass the physical.

The day before I went into the recruiting office to do my physical, I set tobacco with a wooden peg all day long. I received $1.50 for my labor that day.

When I went into the recruiting office in May near the end of my enlistment requirements, I found out that I'd passed everything except the weight requirement. The minimum weight requirement was 116 pounds—I weighed 112.

The doctor told me that I could go out and eat bananas, so I immediately went out and bought 5 lbs. of bananas and ate all I could. (I used 25 cents of the $1.50 I'd earned the day before). Upon returning to the recruiting office that afternoon, I weighed 115 lbs. I guess the doctor saw how much I wanted to join the Navy, so he slapped me on the rear end and said "You're in the Navy!" All the money I took with me was the $1.50 I had made the day before less the 25 cents that I used to buy the bananas.

On May 20, 1940, I left for Norfolk, Virginia to the Naval Recruiting station. Remember now that here was a kid from the farm that had never been anywhere. I was scared to death--I had no idea what lay ahead. Shortly after arriving, it was my turn to get my hair cut off. Then, we went through 8-10 weeks of intense training. They would tell us quite often, "We are going to mold you into a military machine!"

I remember sometime toward the latter part of the training that we got to go on liberty. My buddy and I got all dressed up in our white uniforms and headed to downtown Norfolk. (We thought we were 10 feet tall). Anyway, you were supposed to wear your hat square down to your eyebrow. We were walking down the street with our hats back on our heads. All of a sudden, the shore patrol came upon us and said, "Sailor, square those hats!" We replied that we were on liberty and we didn't have to square our hats. Well now let me tell you, we got hauled in and that was the last time we went on liberty in Norfolk!

Off to Hawaii  
After completing my training, I was assigned to the USS Colorado, which was stationed in Hawaii. At this time, it was common practice to carry all your belongings, clothing, and bedding with you. When it was time to catch the bus to the train station, (there were few airplanes, so everyone traveled by bus or train), I got my sea bag and hammock all lashed up ready to go. There was just one thing: I couldn't lift it to my shoulder. (By this time since it was after boot camp, I probably weighed less than 110 lbs.) I ended up having to drag my sea bag to the bus stop. How, I don't remember, but I made it to the West Coast at last!

In San Francisco, I boarded a destroyer and headed for Hawaii. Well, this was some trip. I laid up in the bow of the ship seasick for the 5 or 6 day trip to Hawaii. The only good thing from this was that I was never seasick again.

Now the fun had just started—wait till you hear what happened next. In Hawaii, I caught a small ship over to the big island of Hawaii where the USS Colorado was anchored. With help, I got into a motor launch out to the battleship. What happened next was a complete disaster.

Upon arriving, the sailor in the motor launch helped me get my hammock and sea bag onto my shoulder. I made an attempt to go up the ladder of the ship. I stepped toward the ladder when the waves were carrying the ship away from me, instead of stepping on the ladder when the waves were carrying the ship toward me. Well, I fell into the ocean, sea bag, hammock and all! Being a kid from the farm, I was scared to death. I thought for sure I was a goner!

All hell then broke loose: the ship's horn started blowing and the words "Man Overboard!" were yelled over the loudspeaker. It looked to me like a thousand people looking over the side of the ship, and all I'm trying to do is stay afloat! They fished me out (along with my gear), and I finally got up onto the gangway like a little wet rat! Needless to say, I made a grand entrance onto my first ship!

Finally, I got squared away and was assigned to the "M" division. My duty was in the Engine Room, making the ship move through the water. It was very hot down in the bowels of the ship (around 120 degrees). Well, to make a long story short, it was so hot that I lost a lot of weight, and the doctor ordered me assigned to another division. One thing I didn't need to do was lose more weight!

This time I was assigned to the "E" (Electric) division.

# Chapter 5 –Early Navy Memories & Meeting Bette

Early On  
I settled into the E division and liked the work very much. You had to take an examination to get promoted to the next higher grade. I was finally ready to start on my way. I studied real hard and when my time in grade was met, I made sure I was ready for the exam.

I was selected in late 1942 or so to go to a school in Chicago and also to one in Washington, DC. I would be told everything about the schools once I got there. The school in Chicago was at the teletype factory. The teletype is an electric typewriter which can be hooked up to send and receive information. I think the school was about 2 months long, but I'm not positive about the length.

After the school in Chicago, I was told to report to Washington, DC for further schooling. This was when I was told what I would be doing for the foreseeable future: I would be installing and maintaining highly classified equipment.

Since the equipment was highly classified cryptographic equipment, I required a top secret clearance to even see the equipment, let alone work with it. I was given a top secret clearance and my duties for the rest of my Naval career required that I maintain such a clearance.

When I attended the schools, everything was so tightly controlled. One particular machine I worked on was the electronic cipher machine (ECM). When I went into the room where the ECM was, you had to sign in your name and you couldn't take any notes or bring anything in with you. Anything you may have had, even a scrap piece of paper that had any kind of writing on it had to be put into a large trash bag. 2 enlisted men and an officer would burn it at the end of each day. We had a big incinerator. (On the ship, we had a steel barrel for the same purpose).

When I finished these schools, I think they saw potential in me. You had to take an examination to get promoted to the next higher grade. I studied so hard and worked very hard. I would study the books and even memorize them. When my time in grade was met, I always made sure I was ready for the exam. By this time, I think I'd made second class. (I went to a lot of schools. Every time they'd ask for volunteers to go to another school, I'd raise my hand. As time went by, I was promoted to the next grade each and every time I took the exam).

Meeting Bette  
After the school in Washington, DC (approximately another 2 months), I was given orders to report to the receiving station in Philadelphia, PA to await further orders. This was where and how I met Bette. Shortly after arriving in Philadelphia one evening a sailor yelled out, "Does anyone want a blind date?" I yelled back that I would accept. It turned out that this sailor was dating Bette's best girlfriend.

Well this was a lucky event in my life. It turned out that Bette had a date with another sailor. Since I was stationed at the receiving station at the Navy Yard and the other sailor was stationed at the Naval Air Station quite a distance further than I had to go, I could stay longer than he could. Anyway, we seemed to like each other from the start. I saw Bette every night after that that I could. In all, we saw each other for about 2 months before I got orders to Adak, Alaska. This was all the courting we did. The rest of our courting was through the mail during the rest of the war.

During this time, Bette was in the process of joining the Navy through the "WAVES" group. WAVES stood for Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service, and Bette was one of the first to join. Bette received her orders to go to Norman, Oklahoma for training shortly after I left. She then went to Hawaii where she was stationed all during the war. (She was a CPA and did accounting-type work). The rest is history—a very memorable and happy period of my life.

We corresponded all during the war, but since we were at war, everyone's correspondence was censored. This was done by your superior and lots of times, the letters sent or received would look like a sieve. The person doing the censoring would know all you were saying and how you felt. It turned out that the officer that censored all my letters to Bette and my mother knew them almost as well as I did. He became a very close friend, and we kept in contact until he died in 2005.

As I said, I received orders to go to Adak, Alaska. This was around early 1943. The Japanese had taken the islands of Attu and Kiska. These are the Aleutian Islands at the extreme end of the island chain near Russia. We established a facility on Adak to service all the crypto communication systems in that area. I spent the rest of the war at Adak, taking care of all the installations and maintenance of the crypto equipment on shore and on ships in that area.

Adak, Alaska  
Adak, Alaska was such an unusual place to live. The weather was so terrible—lots of high winds and plenty of snow. In fact, the weather was so bad that not even trees would grow on the island.

We slept in army tents. There were 4 of us in one tent. We slept on cots on our sleeping bags. There was a stove in the center of the tent that had a metal pipe that ran out the top of the tent. In the middle of the night, someone would have to get up and add coal to the stove. We were told that in the middle of the night if the tent blew down, you needed to stay inside your sleeping bag till morning. Under no circumstances were you to get out of your sleeping bag to go outside. You could freeze to death.

There was an old man with us. He was about 50 years old, weathered, and all skin and bones. He said he used to ride with Buffalo Bill, and we all believed him. He joined the Navy because of the war. We looked up to him as a father figure to us. He told us lots of stories about the Wild West. We felt sorry for him, because he had to get up 3-4 times a night to go to the bathroom. We fixed him up with a funnel and plastic hose to run out underneath the tent, so that he didn't have to get out of the sleeping bag to go to the bathroom.

Sometimes the wind would blow so hard that the tent would blow down. Well, one night there was a storm, and the winds blew 60-80 mph. The damn tent blew down. The next morning, we found the old man in the Quonset hut where the showers and toilets were. He was sitting there with a blanket wrapped around himself. He must've gotten scared in the middle of the night and left the sleeping bag. He froze to death. That was a sad day.

It should also be noted that Adak became key in its support of the war. With its harbor and large airfield, it became a large support area in the Northern Pacific. A couple examples of the support functions it provided were that ships came into the harbor to refuel, and bombings were set up from Adak.

Coming Home from the War  
A lot of reserves had come in (they'd been drafted in time of war). I was regular Navy. The reserves were released from duty when the war ended, but the regulars had to stay longer. Even though the war was over in 1945, I didn't get released until early 1946. At that time, Military sent you by trains. We first took a ship back to Seattle, Washington. Then I caught a train in the dead of winter to the East Coast. We got stuck in North Dakota or South Dakota—I forget which one. We were in the countryside, and the snow was so deep that the train couldn't get through. We had no heat, only a wood stove to try to keep warm. We almost froze to death.

I caught a terrible cold on that train, and I arrived in Philadelphia with it. I went to Bette's house and immediately went to bed. I am struck even to this day with how kind Bette's parents were to take me in and accept me. They treated me like a son.

Finally, on February 26, 1946, Bette and I got married in Philadelphia. We honeymooned in Lake Placid, New York.

Bette's father was high up in Pennsylvania politics. He almost ran for Senator of Pennsylvania once. He was a great Republican. (Incidentally, you ought to have seen Bette over her party affiliation)!

Anyway, there was a store in Philadelphia that sold estate jewelry. Bette's father knew the guy that ran the store. He took us to the store, and Bette and I picked out a perfect diamond ring for her (almost a carat). After Bette's death, I kept the ring in my safe deposit box for years. I decided that I would give the ring to Pam, which I did. Sometime thereafter, someone broke into Pam's home in Orlando, Florida and stole the ring along with other things of hers. \

# Chapter 6 –Navy Life, including My Life with Bette

Background Information  
After the War, the Department of Defense around the mid-1940's created the Armed Forces Security Agency (AFSA), to which I was assigned. It was established for directing the communications and electronic intelligence activities of the military units of the Army Security Agency (ASA), the Naval Security Group (NSG), and the Air Force Security Agency (AFSA). Then I think it was in 1950, President Truman by executive order created NSA. By this action, Truman combined these elements of the military and their civilian counterparts into one department.

The NSA's mission was and continues to be to keep abreast of the secret communications of foreign countries, while protecting our own communications. The information derived through NSA from their worldwide operations is so sensitive and highly classified they even have a separate worldwide communication network that is run on a 24/7 basis. This permits instant communication to all the Need-to-Know departments of the U.S. government including the Defense department, other agencies, and even to the bowels of the White House.

By the way, the U.S. leads the world in this area, which gives us a big advantage. The number of personnel involved and the huge associated cost to carry out this mission is known by only a few people. For many years, the NSA's existence was not acknowledged by the U.S. government. If anyone said anything to you, you were to say ¬No Such Agency existed, or 'Never Say Anything' (NSA). In other words, you never talked about where you worked.

Even Bette didn't know what I did. Whenever anyone asked what I did, I only said "communication work". When they pressed further, I'd just say that I sent and received stuff and left it at that.

I, along with the others in my line of work, were not allowed to visit the Soviet Union or any of its satellites. In fact, we couldn't even fly over any of these countries when I was traveling, because of my clearance.

For 30 years, I was taught not to make mistakes. That's why today I'm so exact. I'd repeat myself, too, and that's why I continue to do that today. I also didn't associate with many people, but again, we were taught not to get too close to anyone. I had a lot of pride in what I did. I knew it was important.

I was assigned to the Naval Security Group (NSG). It was said that after the War, Eisenhower said this group of people did more to win the War than any other group. We, along with Great Britain, broke both the Japanese and German codes. This helped to save lots of lives and bring the war to an early end. Eisenhower also said that "they couldn't even tell anyone what they did". That's what made the work so interesting, because I knew I helped save lives. I didn't write the messages, and I didn't send the messages, but I was always there to make it possible for the information to get through.

Signaling Intelligence (SIGINT)  
There are two main types of Signaling Intelligence, referred to as SIGINT, dealt with here (1) Communications Intelligence (COMINT) and (2) Electronic Intelligence (ELINT). COMINT engages in the interception of foreign communications with the intent of trying to derive valuable information from it. ELINT refers to intelligence gathering, by use of electronic sensors. In other words, ELINT is the interception and analysis of electronic magnetic signals of other countries such as radar, radio, telephony, and microwave transmissions in order to obtain useful intelligence information. Both of these areas deal with highly classified information, and it is protected as such.

Regarding equipment, each piece of equipment has a unique signature. This way one can determine the kind of equipment being used, and with the help of other equipment, where the transmitter is located. With this kind of information, called SIGINT, you can track the target or have it destroyed.

As I mentioned, the NSA is responsible for the collection and analysis of all foreign communications. The agency directs and performs highly specialized activities to produce foreign intelligence information which involves a significant amount of cryptographic analysis. In other words, we analyzed the intelligence we got from the enemy, and we also made sure they couldn't gather and derive any useful information from us. The area of my expertise was the installation and maintenance of these U.S. crypto systems.

My Work Environment  
The crypto duties at shore stations were performed behind locked doors and drawn curtains. The compound would usually have a tall double fence guarded by armed Marines. It would also have a big sign that said "AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY". Any uncleared people had to be escorted at all times.

It is important to have the shore stations throughout the U.S. and around the world. This is why it's so important to have access to strategic areas around the world. Satellites have lessened the role somewhat of the shore stations. However, having both satellites and these various shore stations around the world provides us with the ability to monitor and collect the information necessary to protect our interests.

In addition to these shore stations, we also had ship detachment. When we embarked on various ships, we were not always welcomed. Often, we were viewed as outsiders. This was because we would come out to eat and sleep, and then we'd go back into our inner sanctum behind closed, locked doors again. We were thought of as kind of weird.

This was during World War II and into the late 1940's-early 1950's. In the 1950's and beyond, the technology explosion changed everything. Today with all the computers, cell phones, internet, and all the other advancements, it's a completely different world. In fact, it has become much harder to collect and analyze all the different types of present day communications.

Settling into Married Life  
My first duty station was in San Diego, California. I remember that we lived in one room with kitchen privileges. We shared the kitchen with other couples, (usually at most 2 other couples at one time). I continued my work while there, servicing the equipment for which I was trained.

Bette continued her education under the G.I. Bill at the University of San Diego. While there, Bette's father died and she returned to Philadelphia for the funeral. He died of a heart attack at quite a young age of 48.

In order to keep from repeating myself since my duties were about the same at each duty station or ship, I'll list most of the places we were stationed. I would like to say that we met some wonderful people along the way. Many remained our good friends throughout our lives.

Here are the places I visited and/or were my duty stations, not in any particular order:  
* San Diego, California ( 2 ½ years)

* Boston, Massachusetts – I left on the USS Des Moines from Boston to go to the Mediterranean (1 year)

Most of the countries around the Mediterranean (traveling on duty)

* Several tours in Washington, DC (duty)

* Guam (2 years)

* Hawaii (2 ½ years)

Hong Kong (visit)

Australia (duty)

Japan (visit)

South Korea (duty)

Vietnam (duty)

Philippines (duty)

Thailand (duty)

Alaska (2 ½ years)

Several countries in Africa & in South America while on the USS Oxford (2 ½ years)

* Norfolk

India (visit)

Turkey (duty)

Several countries in Europe (duty)

England (duty)

Scotland (duty)

* Germany (3 years)

* = Bette stationed also

In most of the above places, my duties caused me to be there. Bette was only allowed to be at some of the places where I was stationed. When I returned from my overseas tours, I would always go back to either NSA or the Naval Security Group for a couple years in between.

When I was on one of my tours in Washington, DC, I made Warrant Officer. This was in 1951. I then got transferred to Guam for a 26-month tour. After promotion to Warrant Officer, it was customary to no longer fraternize with enlisted men. This was what resulted in my transfer to Guam.

Like any family, we wanted to have some children. We tried for many years. While Bette and I were in Guam, there was a couple there who was also having difficulty getting pregnant. This family adopted 2 boys. Bette and I obtained background from this couple on adopting, and we got close to adopting a child ourselves.

Pam's Birth  
Finally after about 10 years of trying, lo and behold—Bette became pregnant! Our little angel arrived on January 17, 1956.

When Pam was about 3 – 4 months old, I had applied for and gotten the school that I had wanted for a long time. This was the Advanced Electronics School at Great Lakes, Illinois. Compared to my previous schools lasting 2-3 months each, this was a long school. It lasted for 12 months. It covered practically all the electronic equipment that the Navy used on ships, on shore, and at shore stations. At this time in my career, I had been Warrant Officer for about 5 years. I needed this school to continue my advancement in the Navy.

Advanced Electronics School  
This school turned out to be the hardest thing that I had ever attempted. The school covered 2 years of studies in 1 year. I studied every night from 6:00 pm – 12:00 midnight. We started out with 37 in the class, and ended up with only 17. We had examinations every Friday. If you flunked just one exam, you were out—you were sent back to your ship or station. During the exams, you were required to use a slide rule-- no calculators existed at that time. When the bell rang, you had to drop your pencil and the exam was over.

I still remember how hard this school was. I would never want to go through it again. I had an average of 77, and I was glad to hold onto it. The school enhanced my career, though, and I'm glad that I did it. Because of the school, I was able to expand my career into other electronic areas. All my expanded areas were still associated within the cryptographic area.

Bette's Encouragement  
At the times that I was discouraged, Bette was always there to encourage me, to tell me that I could do it, and to tell me not to give up. She had the foresight and patience to stick with me. I remember that Pam was a colicky baby. She cried a lot. Bette had the patience of Job—between my schooling and Pam, I never knew how she made it. I've often thought about how she ever got through that year.

There was another officer and his wife who lived next door to us. This officer attended the school also. He and his wife had 2 older children, and she was a great help to Bette. We became friends and stayed in touch over the years. Bill, the husband, just died recently.

The USS Oxford  
One of my most memorable tours was my assignment to the USS Oxford: a research ship. What we were told to tell people was that we surveyed the ocean floor; but in fact, we were sailing off various countries (14 miles out) gathering signal information. (A boundary of 14 miles offshore is permitted where you would still be considered sailing in "open waters"). We gathered the signal information and sent it back to NSA for further analysis. We were home ported in Norfolk, Virginia, and we sailed off the coasts from various countries of South American and Africa.

The ship had a moon relay communication system. Our research and communications entailed bouncing signals off the moon to communicate with Washington, DC. This was before satellites, and in fact, it helped establish that this technique was possible. I even talked to Bette via the moon off the coast of South America (from Peru).

The USS Oxford was one of 7 ships of this type. You might remember that North Korea captured the sister ship, the USS Pueblo, and held the crew for about 14 months before they were released. The ships of this type were retired after the satellite program was put into use.

Events Remembered with Bette  
As I mentioned previously, Bette's father died at the age of 48. A thing happened while Bette went east for her father's funeral that I have always regretted. Bette had grown up in Philadelphia and never had any pets like dogs or cats. While at a carnival, she won 2 little ducklings. She raised them to be fully grown ducks and thought the world of them. There was a family living next door to us, and the husband was a chief cook in the Navy. Well, for some unknown reason, he talked me into letting him kill and cook the ducks. All hell broke loose when Bette returned. Her heart was broken. No one thought that the ducks meant that much to her. I don't think she ever quite forgave me for doing that, and I will always be sorry that I let him talk me into doing it.

Another thing that happened to Bette was an event she never forgave me for, for not being there to help. We had bought a house in Norfolk where I was home ported while I was serving on the USS Oxford. Once when I was at sea, the toilet in the rec room overflowed. We had just bought a new 9' x 12' rug. Enough said—the sewer backed up about 2-3 inches into the entire rec room. Bette was tasked with cleaning up the entire mess. All of this was completely unknown to me. I came marching home about a month later with no real care in the world. By this time, Bette had basically had it with the house! She was ready to move back to Philadelphia, and I was sitting there asking, "What happened?"

It sounds like I've only talked about the bad things, but there were many good and happy things Bette and I did together. Along the way, we met some wonderful people. We enjoyed knowing them throughout our lives. Like the couple in San Diego, we got to know people in Guam, Germany, and Hawaii. There were many, many more happy times we shared together.

Description of Bette  
Bette didn't wear much make-up or lipstick other than toilet water and perfume. It wasn't necessary since she had a beautiful complexion and long, curly black hair. She was a very beautiful woman, and her quiet and laid back personality fit her to a tee. As with all young couples, we spent many happy times talking and planning our future. It was such a shame she wasn't able to see and enjoy Pam and her family.

Bette was also a very good conversationalist, and people really liked talking to her. She was not a big mouth like I am; she was very quiet and reserved until you got to know her. She was one of those people that worked behind the scenes. She had lots of patience. She had to, to put up with me for all those years! She and Milly were so alike. I've always thought about how alike they both were. I've been so lucky to have known 2 such magnificent and lovely people.

Bette with Pam  
With the arrival of Pam in 1956, since we had waited so long, it was one of our biggest and happiest events. I was away quite a bit, so Bette did the most in taking care of her, especially when Pam was young. Like all parents, we wanted the best for her. That being true, we gave her all kinds of things like dancing lessons, piano lessons, and we enrolled her in girl scouts and all kinds of sports. As I've said, Bette had lots of patience, and like all mothers, she spent a lot of time around Pam's activities.

Another attribute of Bette was that she always wanted to be of help to people. I remember at our church that she and her friend worked tirelessly to help the poor. Instead of taking center stage in her work, she always stayed behind the scenes.

With all of Bette's activities, Pam was at the center. Bette spent lots of time with her. Like all children, Pam wanted to be read to. Bette spent a huge amount of time reading to and teaching her to read, coloring with her, and watching TV with her. Of course, the TV exposure was the shows that Bette thought would be the most beneficial for her. Pam was very smart and caught on very quickly, so it wasn't too long before she was reading books on her own. Pam loved to color, and she must have colored hundreds of books.

Memories of Bette and Me  
I remember many happy times that Bette had I spent with our friends on weekends. We didn't have much money during our early years of marriage. We would get together and play the most popular game ever invented—so popular it's still with us today. We bought railroads, had apartment houses on Park Place, and even owned Utility companies! We spent many happy hours playing Monopoly!

We also spent many happy times playing Chinese Checkers, Canasta, and other games when we visited each other on weekends. I liked Chinese Checkers a lot. It consisted of a six-pointed star board and involved lots of colored marbles. It really didn't come from the Orient, but I guess it was given that name to make it sound more exotic. Checkers was another game enjoyed by both young and old. I really never cared for it too much.

Other things we would do together with our friends on weekends were to pack a lunch and drive out in the country. That was if we had enough gas to do this—lots of times, we didn't. Also, most everyone--especially men--smoked. We would buy a pack of Camels or Lucky Strikes for the weekend and roll our own during the week. A pack of 20 cigarettes were 10 cents, and a small bag of tobacco to roll your own was a nickel. During these early days, very few women smoked and if they did, they mostly did so in private. These were happy times—we didn't know how poor we were.

Bette's Service to President Nixon  
Bette volunteered in numerous ways for the Republican Party over the years. One example of this is when Nixon was impeached, Bette went to the White House 4 days a week. There was a group of women who would read boxes of letters that came in asking the President not to resign. Bette and the women would answer these letters.

Bette's Illness  
Bette's health started to decline a couple years before she died in 1975. Bette was never one to complain, so neither of us realized how serious her health was becoming. Bette died on February 20, 1975 at the Bethesda Naval Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. She had been undergoing heart surgery.

It was such a pity that Bette didn't live to see Pam finish college, marry, and have such a wonderful family. Pam was in her 1st year of college when Bette died. She would have been (as I am) so proud of all that Pam accomplished. She would have been beside herself crowing and telling everyone about Bill, Justin, and Jordan. I'm sure she's looking down and is happily seeing such a wonderful family.

Very soon after Bette's death, I received a personal letter from President Nixon expressing his sympathy for Bette's passing. I have his letter attached in the Appendix. I also received many other letters from officials in the White House, another of which is also included in the Appendix. These letters meant the world to me, as I could see firsthand how much Bette's life made a difference--not only to me, but to so many others. I still miss her very much and cherish her memory.

# Chapter 7 –The Stock Market

As I sit here to begin to reflect on my long journey over the years with my association with the market, I have many pleasant memories. Here in the comfort of our home, the thermometer outside tells me that winter is here. Winter used to be my favorite season, but with the aging process, that has changed.

I can remember all the great times I had getting together with family and friends. I also like to reflect on how a lot of hard work and a few correct decisions led to a rewarding life and financial security in my later years.

How it Began  
This all began in the early 1950's. Bette had a job at the Pentagon with Naval Intelligence. She began coming home talking about this person (her boss) suggesting that we should start to invest in the stock market. Well, you can imagine what a farm boy thought about that idea! I basically had no idea what he was talking about.

Bette kept talking about it over the next several months. We went to a cocktail party at the Army-Navy Club one night. We hadn't been there too long when this officer came up to me and said, "So, you're the skeptical Jack Perry!" I really didn't know what he was talking about, but then he told me who he was and that he wanted to ask me a couple of questions. I was kind of taken aback, but I said okay.

He started off with, "I understand that you are a career naval officer, isn't that right?" I said yes. He then said, "You have a lifetime pension, and your medical requirements are also taken care of." He explained that I already had secured the 2 things that everybody worries about as they get older. He added, "You also have a very smart and gifted wife." He urged me to take advantage of all I had going for me, or in his words, "Play your hand now, and invest."

Our life savings at that time were around $1,100. We had the money deposited in the credit union at the Pentagon. Well, the skeptical Jack Perry thought about this stock market idea for several months while discussing it some more with Bette. Finally, I thought it might be a good idea. (I think Bette had already come to that conclusion a while ago and was just waiting for me to come around!)

Well, it turned out that Bette's boss was working part-time at a brokerage house in Washington, DC. After we decided to go ahead, I will never forget what he said to me when we met to tell him of our decision. He asked me if I knew anyone at the credit union. I said no. Then he said, "Why do you think they are giving you 2% interest on your money?" The lesson was "Why not invest your money the way the credit union does? If they are giving you 2%, they must be making more."

A Lucky Break  
What happened next doesn't always happen, but it worked this way for me. He showed us how to buy a $1,000 bond with none of our money. We borrowed on margin from the brokerage house. The interest rate we earned on the bond paid enough, so that we could pay the interest on the borrowed money and still make a 1% profit. You won't believe what happened next, but I'm telling the truth: The bond had attached to it 100 warrants, which became separated from the bond once the deal was consummated. (By the way, this was a Sheraton Hotel chain bond). The warrants were 35 cents apiece, or $35 for the 100 of them. You should sit down because you won't believe what these same warrants were worth about 18 months later--$23 each! Well needless to say, this was my first encounter with the market, and it made a believer out of me! That started me on a long journey. It permitted me to become financially well off, but it took a lot of hard work along the way.

Launching my Career in Mutual Fund Selling  
I started to study and learn everything I could about the market. This involved going to school at night. And, later on in the late 1950's, I got my license to sell mutual funds. Why this was so important was that I only made about $150 per month in the Navy at that time. I saw the potential of investing, but I didn't have the money to do so. I got 2 part-time jobs to earn the extra money I needed to invest: The first was packing groceries, and the second was selling mutual funds.

I launched myself into mutual fund selling with enthusiasm. In fact, I became the top salesman in 1959 for Maryland, Virginia, and the Washington, DC area. I have a picture of myself being given the Salesman of the Year award by Bennett Cerf. He was the host of the popular TV show "What's My Line?" and had flown in for the awards ceremony. That was an exciting moment in my life.

I was so fortunate to have had such a wonderful career in the Navy and to have success in the stock market. I'll always be very humble and grateful for all that has happened to me. Now I want to make it perfectly clear that I didn't do all of this myself. Bette played a tremendous role in my success. She had the calmness and patience to slow me down. I was always going full speed with all my crazy ideas, and her calm and supportive spirit gave balance to our lives. It's such a pity that she wasn't here to see the success that happened. I believe she knows.

My Investment Philosophy and Some Advice  
Enough of the background stuff. Let's get to my philosophy and methods of investing. First, select stocks in stable, well-established companies. You must always diversify your investments (i.e., don't put all your eggs in one basket). I think any portfolio should always have 2 or 3 good utility stocks. You can use the dividends that you earn on these utility stocks to pay your utility bills.

While you are young, you should also go into stocks that have strong growth potential. Growth stocks do not generally pay much of a dividend. Try to find stocks whose earnings are growing at least 10-15% per year. Of course, you want to look out 10-15 years to try to analyze and guess the future of whatever field you are thinking about investing in. One knows you can't tell what will happen in the distant future, but you can think about all aspects of what may happen. For example, does the company have good management and will the company's products or services be needed in the future? Then you have to make the best decision you are able to make, after all the research you've done about the particular company. It's not easy to bet your money, but you have to eventually make a decision.

I think another thing you want to do is to let your dividends be reinvested back into the company. This is very important, because it has an effect like a snowball rolling down a hill: it gets bigger and bigger due to the compounding effect. Time is your biggest ally in building your assets through investing. It allows you to maximize the effect of compound interest.

Another important aspect of this is as time goes by, successful companies will begin paying more and more dividends. These are what you look forward to as you grow older and approach retirement age. Since you've invested in stocks with growth potential, you'll begin witnessing the company's growth over the years by watching its earnings and dividend payouts continue to grow.

I would like to suggest a couple things for one to think about:

(1) To play it safe, you need to diversify, diversify, diversify!

(2) If you are not going to study and learn about the stock market, you're better off investing in mutual funds. This is where a group of people like yourself pool their money and have someone invest and manage it. The mutual fund companies normally invest the money in anywhere from 50-100 or more different companies. That way you can see that if 1 or 2 of these companies fail, you still have your money in a bunch of other companies that are doing okay. Remember, too, that the better the mutual funds perform, the more money the fund's managers make. They earn their money as a percentage of the net assets of the funds invested (usually a small percentage like 1% or less of the total assets under management). This means the fund's managers want the mutual funds to be successful just like you do.

Have a Plan  
Let's remember that investing is not for the light-hearted. There is a risk to it, and it's not easy. One must have a plan. Don't try to get rich quick or do everything at once. Try to save an amount each month and don't try to overdo it. Only save the monies you don't need. You and your spouse should sit down and do some planning.

First, you should always have about 6 months of your salary available as an emergency fund. Second and probably the most important, buy life insurance. I suggest term, because you can get more coverage for less money. In your younger years when money is tight, term can be purchased at a low cost and you can get more coverage in case something should happen to either of you. Don't think this can't ever happen. Two good examples are my mother and my best friend Milly. My mother had 8 children, the oldest of which was 14 and the youngest (me) was just a baby. Milly had 4 children, the oldest was 10 (Stephanie), and the youngest (Kurt) was only 2. Only they and God know how they endured and accomplished this monumental task.

Then, decide on what amount you can comfortably save each month. Again, don't try to do too much. Remember this is money you don't need to live on. You can always increase it later. Don't ever forget, a small amount of money over a long period of time (30-40 years) can grow to an enormous amount. This is a good thing to know: If you divide a given amount of interest rate into 72, your money will double in that amount of years. For example, divide 72 by an interest rate of 12%. Your money will double every 6 years. $20,000 will grow to over $1.2 million in 36 years!

The thing to remember is to be consistent in your savings, and your goal should be to save over a long period. Keep in mind that this is not going to be easy. There will be lots of temptations along the way. And, it will take an effort on the part of both spouses. If either one of the spouses doesn't agree, you'll never meet your goals.

To locate great ideas on where tomorrow's star stocks will be, you'll need a systematic and strategic process. In this world of information overload, one must decide on how to come to the best decision. It used to be that you had to subscribe to business magazines and listen to all of the business programs on TV and radio. Thanks to the internet, a ton of information is available at your fingertips. This has made it much easier to get information on companies; however, you still must figure out a process that works for you.

Additionally, the government also puts out a lot of information which can be useful to add into the mix. This consists of job growth, economic indicators, and areas like population growth. These will also have big effects on the market. Try to keep on top of all areas, picking up useful tidbits along the way, and make the best decision you can with your investments. It has been said that the harder you work, the luckier you get.

I have just scratched the surface of investing in the stock market. It would be impossible to cover a subject as large as this one, and it's not my goal to do so. These are just some of the ideas that I tried to use in my own life to the best of my abilities. There are many areas, and they're just waiting to be explored and used.

Let me say once again that this has been a very long journey with many happy events and setbacks along the way. I have been very fortunate and blessed in so many ways. Remember, investing in the market can be a very exciting and challenging means of achieving enormous financial success. Work hard and believe in yourself, and I know you will succeed. I think one of the most gratifying parts of the little success I have had is being able to share it in a small way with others.

Good luck, and I hope you will become financially independent in your retirement years.

# Chapter 8 –Other Experiences during my Navy Career

Experiences in Vietnam  
While I was in the military, I served a tour of 18 months aboard the USS Oxford in Vietnam. I visited Vietnam several times over a 10-year period as a government civilian while I was employed by the Army Security Agency. On one of these visits, we were attacked one night and two Marines were killed. Attacks like this were common, but it was seldom that they resulted in any deaths.

On another of my trips as a government civilian, I went to Vietnam along with a contractor from Southwest Institute based in San Antonio, Texas. As we were in the field one day, the alarm sounded to signal to everyone that the enemy was close by. Whenever the alarm sounded, all lights were to be completely extinguished and everyone was to take cover but be completely still.

When the lights went out, you couldn't see a thing all around you. You just had to do your best to take cover where you could. The civilian contractor I was with fell into a well. No one knew he had fallen. He could've died there, as it would've been easy to have overlooked him there. Fortunately, a soldier walked by once it was safe again to move around and discovered him. The contractor survived, but it was a harrowing experience for him.

During this same trip, another soldier told us a story about how he and some of his friends had found a 6-foot cobra in one of our trenches. The cobra was found among the sandbags. They killed the cobra, but the soldier told us to look out for other cobras. Believe me, this scared me to death when the whistle sounded and you had to take cover in the absolute darkness!

# Chapter 9 –Pam

First, I want to give some background so that Pam will have some idea on her early life and what it was like, and to also let her know how much she was loved and the happiness that she brought into our lives. My career in the Navy resulted in us having to move frequently. This constant moving would cause Pam to lose her friends and then to have to make new ones. She also had to attend many different schools. This can cause problems by having to constantly adjust to new environments. Thank God, Pam came through all this and matured into a wonderful and sweet individual.

Pam, you can thank your mother for this, because Bette did the lion's share of the effort it took to develop the person you are today. While you will never truly know all the love, time, and patience your mother devoted to you, take it from me, she adored you. I, too, am very fortunate to have played a small role in your upbringing.

As I've already mentioned, Bette and I were married on February 26, 1946 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We decided not to have any children right away, mainly because we didn't feel that we could afford it at that time. Later on after my advancement in the Navy, we decided it was time to start a family. After 5 or 6 years of trying with no luck, we became good friends with a couple while we were stationed in Guam. It turned out that this couple had experienced the same problem some years before. Anyway, they had done a lot of research on adoption, and they shared their information with us. Lo and behold, we didn't need it. Bette became pregnant in 1955.

Pam's Birth  
We were stationed in the Washington, DC area when Bette became pregnant. Pamela Lynn Perry was born around 5:15 am on January 17, 1956 at the Bethesda Naval Hospital. Needless to say, we were happy beyond our wildest dreams when our beautiful little angel arrived. You can just imagine how joyful and thankful we were after waiting 10 years for this to happen.

We, like all new parents, really didn't know what we were doing, and we especially didn't know what lay ahead. I remember how careful we were with every aspect of taking care of Pam—how often should we feed her, should we wake her up to feed her so she won't starve, was she too hot or too cold, and above all, we wanted to make sure everything was sterilized. We even set the alarm clock to make sure she wouldn't starve!

After about 3 months, I received orders to go to a school at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center in Illinois. This was the Advanced Electronics School I mentioned previously that I needed in order to advance my naval career. For the next year, I did very little to help with taking care of Pam. Everything fell on poor Bette. This was because I was consumed about 18 hours a day trying to stay in the school. If you flunked one of the exams that were given every Friday, you were sent back to your prior duty station.

Needless to say, Bette was busy night and day taking care of Pam. This situation was made harder because Pam was a colicky baby. Fortunately, the couple living next door had 2 small children that were 3 and 5 years old. This was a Godsend for Bette. Pat, the wife, was very helpful in teaching us, or I should say Bette, a lot about raising a baby. I felt so bad that I was unable to be available more at this critical time in Pam's life.

Moving Around  
After the Advanced Electronics School, we received orders to go to paradise (Hawaii). We had a wonderful 2 ½ years there watching Pam grow into a sweet toddler. A small drawback was that Pam developed lots of colds and also asthma while there. We spent lots of times at the hospital and staying up at night taking care of her. Despite all of Pam's sicknesses, we had a wonderful time there and have visited many times since.

Bette, Pam, and I came back to the Washington, DC area after our tour in Hawaii. This was a great time, because Pam was at the age that you could do so much with her. One of Pam's passions was coloring, and she got to be really good at it. She even let me help sometimes, but if I got out of the lines, she would let me know! I have no idea how many coloring books she colored. Also, there is no telling how many hours we spent reading to her. This was a must when we put her to bed.

Besides talking and reading to Pam, we also started her in dancing lessons. While at the dancing studio, we met and became friends with a couple whose daughter was also taking lessons. Pam became friends with the daughter. This was a great time watching Pam grow and develop into a wonderful young girl. Bette was very patient, giving Pam so much love and attention. I've always felt that I missed out on so much because I only had a few hours after work to spend with her.

Our next duty station was a 3-year tour at the NSA Headquarters in Frankfurt, Germany. This was such a wonderful tour of duty. Pam started school at the American school there. I think she spent her first 3 years of schooling there. We got to do so many different things. I will try to highlight a few of them.

Besides trying to adjust to the different language and eating some of the good German food, there were many things to see and do. I think one of the greatest things we did was to camp all over Europe. On one of these trips we went to Italy. While traveling down the side of Italy along the Aegean sea, Pam developed a very high fever and began vomiting. We knew there was a U.S. Naval hospital in Naples, but this was quite a distance away. We drove all day and finally arrived in Naples at about midnight. We finally got Pam to the hospital, and it turned out that she had a severe case of the mumps. They took good care of her, and they kept her for a total of 8 days until she was well enough to travel. Other than this stressful time, we had a wonderful trip.

The other important thing pertaining to Pam is that we gave her piano lessons. I forget the instructor's name, but he was good and very strict. He would tap on her hands when she would mess up, and Pam was scared to death of him! He found us a good used German piano, which Pam still has to this day. Pam got very good at playing it. I probably would have been good, too, if I had lessons from that instructor since he was so strict!

There were many other good times we had while stationed in Germany. Pam was growing up to be a beautiful child, and we were so proud of her. We even went to the bull fights in Madrid, Spain. Pam was featured as "Pamela Lynn Perry, the Matador" on a real poster to advertise one of the bull fights. (I think Pam still has that poster).

From Germany, I received orders to board the ship, the USS Oxford. The ship was home-ported in Norfolk, Virginia. We bought a house in Norfolk and got all settled in before my ship went to sea. Well, this was a complete catastrophe as far as me helping to raise Pam. I was at sea most of the time for the next 18 months. And then, the ship got orders to go to Vietnam for the next 12 months! Everything fell on Bette for these 2 ½ years. I was of no help. She was left with not only taking care of Pam, but with all the other issues of running a household. Bette finally sold our Norfolk house, and she went to stay with her mother for a short time.

As I said after spending 12 months in Vietnam, I finally received orders to leave the USS Oxford. Our next duty station was in Pensacola, Florida. This was the training school for all Naval Security Group personnel. We bought a house and enrolled Pam in a religious school. We stayed there until I retired in May, 1968. While there, I got to help and spend more time with Pam. Before we left Pensacola, I must mention that Pam found her first love. There was a cute boy that lived nearby, and I think Pam liked him. She was 12 at the time.

Finally Settling in One Place  
After I retired, we moved to a home that we owned in Cheverly, Maryland. (We'd purchased the home a few years before we moved to Germany, and we had rented out the house). We only stayed in this home in Cheverly for a short time before we moved to Montgomery County, Maryland. We wanted Pam to attend the better schools there. Pam was maturing into a beautiful young teenager. She was finally in one place to stay.

Her school was very good, and she did very well in her studies. She soon became involved in other activities such as cheerleading, girl scouts, and baton twirling. She got very good at twirling. She also worked at the Naval Hospital as a Candy Striper volunteer. We all were very happy that everything was going well.

Along Came Bill  
Pam also became very active at our church in the Methodist Young Fellowship (MYF). This group of teenagers was very active in many activities at church. Previously, Pam had a couple boyfriends, and one in particular whom she liked when we lived in Pensacola. Well, she forgot all about her crush on the boy from Pensacola when she attended a church function of her MYF group. Pam was assigned to serve the ice cream. She came home all excited about meeting this guy who was helping dish out the ice cream along with her. She said the he had "the most beautiful eyes that she had ever seen!" Well, they became friends and the courtship continued all through high school. This turned out to be her future husband Bill!

After Pam finished high school, she started college at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute, also known as Virginia Tech. She had only been there a short time before her mother died. Bette died from open heart surgery. This was quite a shock to the both of us. We had no idea that such a tragedy could happen. It was a very difficult time for both of us. I knew that I had to be very supportive to Pam at that time in her life. The big decision we faced was whether Pam should continue at college. This was February, and we knew Pam would have to return to school shortly. Pam and I talked it over and decided that she should continue her education.

I shall always remember all the wonderful visits Milly and I had going down to VPI to visit Pam. Milly was so supportive during this time.

After graduating from VPI and later obtaining her master's degree from Radford College, she and Bill were married on June 25, 1979. I will always remember how happy Pam was on her wedding day. She said it was the happiest day of her life. I was so proud of her as we walked down the aisle, but I was also saddened knowing that I was losing her. We had also gotten to know Bill's family, and this friendship has lasted through the years. Bill's mother, father, and his brother Steve are wonderful people to have as friends. They have been very supportive to Pam, especially Mrs. Reese helping and giving support and advice to both Pam and Bill.

Pam and Bill, and my grandchildren, Justin and Jordan, have brought much happiness to me over the years. I only wish I could have been able to be around more while they were growing up. I will always remember how excited Pam was when she was pregnant with Justin. Once on a visit I went with Pam to visit her doctor. I got to see Justin on the sonogram. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Jordan, but talking to Pam, she was just as excited when pregnant with her.

I will always cherish the wonderful visit when they came up to see me. Then there were the many trips when Milly and I visited them in Florida. The visits always seem to go by so fast.

I'm so proud of both Justin and Jordan. They have grown up amazingly fast. Justin received his master's degree in December, 2007 from the University of Central Florida. It's so hard to believe, it only seems like yesterday when he was so young. I remember once when I visited that I was shaving. I guess Justin had never seen anyone with shaving lather on his face. I had to explain what it was all about. His Dad had always worn a beard.

Then there is Jordan. She, too, seems to have grown up so fast. What a beautiful young lady she has turned out to be. I'm so proud of both of them. I wish my physical condition would have permitted me to travel over the past several years. This would have permitted me to see Jordan as she grew in her teen years.

Pam and Bill have done a remarkable job in providing the love, hard work, and guidance over the years to their children. It's not easy, as I remember when Pam was growing up.

My Closing Message to Pam  
In closing, I want you to know how much happiness you have brought into my life. I have only scratched the surface on describing my life with you. I know I haven't done justice in the above, but I want you to have some idea of what you have meant to me. I sometimes just sit and think how fortunate I am to have such a lovely daughter. I am sure I could have been a better father. (After the fact, one can see where you could have done a better job). I want you to know how proud I am of you and how much I love you. You are such a wonderful person, and you have accomplished so much. I love you, Chickie, more than you will ever know. (You thought I'd forgotten the name I used to call you, didn't you?)  
Love,  
Dad

# Chapter 10 – Milly

I want to say from the start that meeting Milly was one of the most important events of my life. She has been my best friend over these last 30 years. Words can't express how grateful I am for her love and support over this time. I don't know where I would be without her. I depend on her wisdom and advice more than she will ever know, and I treasure all the time we have spent together.

Milly experienced the same fate as my mother, having to raise a family without someone there to help. I never had the opportunity and pleasure to meet her husband. But from all I hear, he was a loving and devoted husband and father. Getting back to the woman that Milly was and is to this day, she all by herself nurtured and raised 4 of the most wonderful children one could ever want. One can only imagine the effort and the hardships she experienced accomplishing such a daunting task. One only has to be in the presence of this family for a short time to witness the love and respect the kids have for their mother. This could only have been accomplished by devoting her all to this monumental job.

Each of her children has been so kind and generous to me over the years. They have become an important part of my life. I have been very fortunate to be around some of the time while they grew up and had families of their own. One of the great aspects of our lives now is in witnessing Milly's pride, love, and satisfaction of being part of her grandchildren's lives. There are 5 lovely grandchildren: Tori, Caroline, Jessica, Kelly, and Peter. I, too, have truly enjoyed being a part of their lives. They are all great kids, and I am very proud and love each of them.

Now, let me talk about some of the wonderful times over the years that I have spent with Milly. I won't even pretend to have the writing skills to tell about and do justice to all the wonderful times we've had together. I will, however, try to touch on some that have meant so much to me.

Meeting Milly  
We met about a year after I lost Bette. It happened by Milly calling our pastor, (we attended the same church, but didn't know each other). Milly asked the pastor if he knew any widows or widowers that might like to attend a party at her house. Thank God, he gave her my name. Anyway, she called and that was the start of a rewarding and wonderful journey of my life. Now what happened next was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!

This was the time when leisure suits were in style. I think every man wore them, along with gold chains hanging around their necks. I wore the light green suit to Milly's party. It was my favorite. (I thought that I looked like a Cool Kat).

I arrived at Milly's house a little late, and the party was in full swing. There were people everywhere—living room, rec room, and basement. I was taken around and introduced to everyone. I was standing by the fireplace at one point when someone came up to me and told me that my fly was open. Well, to this day, I get chills when I think of this! Anyway, her party was a huge success, and it was the beginning of a long and rewarding friendship for both of us.

At that time in our lives, Milly worked at the nearby Catholic church. She only worked from 9 am – 3 pm. These hours allowed her to only work while the children were in school. This demonstrated again the true character of this remarkable woman. At this time, I had retired from the Navy and was working for the Army Security Agency (ASA) at Arlington Hall in Virginia.

I remember all the Sunday afternoons that I spent at Milly's house watching pro football. At that time, I was a Dallas Cowboy fan. Well, needless to say, I was in enemy territory. I wasn't even allowed (without getting stared at) to yell when my team had a great play.

We had many wonderful times at the Bethesda Naval Hospital Officers' Club. Sometimes Milly would even get me out on the dance floor. Then there was the Hot Shoppe Restaurant at Montgomery Mall. I remember how proud I was to be escorting such a beautiful lady to these places. This was a time when lots of women were wearing their hair in the Jackie Kennedy "bouffant" style. At that time, Milly had this hair style. I felt so lucky to be able to have such a sweet and beautiful friend to show off. I guess I had been taking her to the Hot Shoppe too many times. One night when I suggested we go to the Hot Shoppe for dinner, Milly said something like: "Can't we go someplace else for a change?" That showed how dumb and unthoughtful I was and had been. Needless to say, we went to some other places after that. I don't recall if we ever visited the Hot Shoppe again!

Around this time, we began going to the Normandy Farms restaurant and the Comus Inn near Sugarloaf Mountain. We had many memorable and wonderful times at these two places. Both places had good bands that played music we both liked. Again, Milly sometimes got me out on the dance floor. I don't know how she put up with me. I have about as much rhythm as an elephant!

Speaking of Sugarloaf Mountain, I would like to tell about probably one of the most memorable events of my life. On a beautiful summer day, Milly packed a picnic basket and said that she was taking me on a picnic. I asked where, and she said "Get in the car and you will know when we get there." The place turned out to be in the foothills of Sugarloaf Mountain, Maryland. I never enjoyed anything more in my life. It was such a perfect day. Being a farm boy at heart, I really enjoy the outdoors. At that time it was safe to walk in the woods anyplace. It turned out to be a beautiful picnic, and I knew from that time on how much I cared for and loved this remarkable woman.

Also around this time, Milly accompanied me on several trips to San Antonio, Texas. I had an army contract with Southwest Institute. San Antonio has some of the finest restaurants in the world. The river walk that runs through the city is a must place to visit, along with the Alamo and other historical places. On one of these visits, Milly went to lunch with some of the contractor's wives. She was telling them about all the beautiful things to see and do. They wanted to know how she knew so much about their city and would it be okay if they used her list in their wives' club activities. This is another remarkable trait of Milly's—she has an inquisitive mind, always reading and finding out about things.

The decision about when I should retire demonstrates the patience Milly had while I was making up my mind. I would stop by each day from work and start telling her about how much more my pension would be if I stayed this much longer. This went on month after month, and by the time I had finished, she would ask if I would like to stay for dinner (pretty good scheme, huh?). Of course, I would say yes! Then Kurt and I would ask if we could have tacos. These were wonderful times, and I shall never forget them.

After I retired from civil service in 1980, the next phase of our long, happy journey began. I had the funds to do one of my childhood dreams. Remember earlier, I had talked about walking to the country store to sell eggs. This farmer would pass me by in his car and not give me a ride. I said then that someday if I got the money, I would buy the biggest car they made. Milly went with me, and we picked out a maroon Lincoln Town Car.

We also began visiting Bryce Mountain resort in Bryce, Virginia. We bought a time share there. We had some wonderful times there, often bringing our families. I will always cherish the time we visited there with Milly's brother Roy, his wife Dot, and Dot's sister Flossie.

In the early 1980's, we took a trip to Europe. It was a wonderful trip. Also in the early 1980's, we started taking trips each year to Hawaii. This was such a dear place to me, since it was the first place I was stationed in the Navy (on the USS Colorado). We also bought a time share in Waikiki Beach which we used many times over the years and shared some of the most memorable times of my life.

I guess all good things have to end. These wonderful vacations came to an end with my back operation in 2002. After the operation, I developed numbness in my feet. This put a limit on my activities, and therefore, ceased my doing much traveling.

In early 2005, both Milly and I sold our houses in Potomac, Maryland and bought a home together in the Parke at Ocean Pines. This is a retirement community where you have to be at least 55 years old to purchase a home. This is a great place to live. It's near Ocean City, a resort on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. This has been a great plan. Milly has 2 sons living nearby. It not only allows us to be near them, but it also gives Milly and me the opportunity to see and be a part of her 2 youngest grandchildren growing up. I consider them my own grandchildren, too.

So far, we like our new life being near one of the top 10 beaches in the U.S. The only bad thing from our standpoint is there are many fine restaurants in the area. We both don't have the willpower to know when to stop eating!

I know I have only scratched the surface of all the wonderful experiences and memories Milly has made possible for me over the years. There are so many things I have to remember, and it gives me so much pleasure to relive them at this time of my life. I will readily admit that I don't have the ability to put on paper all the happiness she has brought me. I will never be able to thank her fully for her love and understanding throughout these wonderful years. How you ever had the patience to put up with me, I'll never know. I would like to say now that if I have ever hurt you in any way, I am very sorry and please forgive me. You are a saint, and I love you so much.

# Chapter 11 – Reflections

Other Memories of My Mother  
My mother was so generous about giving stuff away. At my mother's funeral, a girl came up to me. She'd been diabetic as a kid. She called me SJ like everyone did in the old days. She said, "SJ, I always wanted to tell you something. Your mother was so wonderful to me. Years ago, I was up talking to Miss Kate, and the most wonderful thing happened to me. I was telling her about how bad I felt because I didn't have enough money to get some insulin."

My mother then said to her, "Oh, I've got some money." She gave the girl $5 and told her, "It's all I have, but you can have it. God will provide." My mother then walked with the girl to the mailbox, and she found a letter from me containing the $25 check that I used to send to my mother every month after I'd joined the Navy. My mother then said to her, "See! God provides!" That girl said to me, "That made a believer out of me!" I didn't have much money, but she was so good to me growing up that it was very important to me to send her $25 each month.

My mother was always very happy, and I never remember seeing her discouraged. She had a real bright outlook on life. This was remarkable to me, because she had a lot to be worried about.

Quilts  
My mother gave all of her children 6 quilts each when we were married. Neighbors (the wives, that is) would come over and have a quilting party at each other's house. They'd sit in a room, and they'd set up a quilting frame. They'd gather pieces of material and sew them together. My mother was an expert at this. She'd take bits and pieces of old clothes and sew them together and even make designs (like flowers) on the quilts.

The women would sit on one side and reach into the quilting frame and all contribute to finish the quilt. They'd each work a section. Nobody got paid for the quilts, and the women helped make quilts for all the families. It was also a good time to talk about life and the kids. They'd knock a quilt out in a day or half a day. They would have to take the frame down when they were done, because they had to use the space. This went on all the time, mostly in the winter. Quilt making was very important, as these were the only blankets we had.

One of my best memories is a quilt she made for me as a little boy. She knew how much I liked birds, and she sewed 10-15 different color birds into the center squares of the quilt. When Bette and I moved from Germany, the shippers lost 2 boxes of our things. The quilt was in one of these boxes. I tell you, if I still had the quilt today, I wouldn't sell it for anything in the world.

From Humble Beginnings Onward  
Bear with me as I wrap up my story with some last reminisces and briefly recap some areas that I've already covered. In growing up on a tobacco farm in North Carolina in the 1920's and 1930's, I lived in a house that had neither electricity nor indoor plumbing. Kerosene lamps were used at that time and, of course, there was the outhouse toilet. Heat was provided by a wood burning fireplace, and the food was prepared by using a wood burning cook stove. A cast iron skillet was used as a frying pan, and a couple of aluminum pots were used to cook all our food. At that time, lard (made from hog fat), was used in the preparation of most all food. There was no such thing as cooking oil. I might add that you could eat and drink whatever you wanted without someone scaring the hell out of you. No one had ever heard of cholesterol! Yes, if you wanted, you could also find plenty of corn whiskey (moonshine)!

I think that there was only one farmer in the whole area that had a radio. Television hadn't been thought of yet, and there were only a few cars. If you heard an airplane, everyone would run outside to see it.

About this time in my life, I joined the Navy. While I know I have already covered my Navy career, I want to say how thankful I am having come through 3 wars. There were many that paid their all for their country.

The Great Women in My Life  
I have been very fortunate to have had 4 smart and great women in my life. They were all much smarter and nicer than I could ever hope to be. They helped to shape and to fortify my core beliefs and values which I have carried throughout my life. I greatly appreciate and owe each of them my gratitude for helping shape my life and for accomplishing what little I have done throughout it.

These women are: My mother, Bette, Pam, and Milly. Looking back, they were always there giving me the love, companionship, and encouragement when I needed it the most. Each played a greater role than I'll ever be able to explain or state, and again, I'll always be eternally grateful.

I would also like to say that these 4 great women have all had deep religious connections, love of their country, and all except one voted a straight Republican ticket! I will forgive my mother because in her time, there probably wasn't even one Republican in the entire state of North Carolina!

Seriously, as I sit here reflecting back in time, I have so many wonderful memories. One can always wonder why you were so blessed, and still be very thankful that you were. I, too, look back and wonder why I wasn't more thoughtful and helpful to the ones that meant so much to me. I shall always be eternally grateful for their love and the enrichment each has brought into my life. I have and always will love them more than they will ever know.

Reflections on Life  
(1) While it is inspiring for us to realize that God will transform us, no matter what we may have done, we still have a hard time completely trusting in Him and accepting His forgiveness. We all have past events and experiences we wish had never happened. It can be very difficult to fully accept that God will completely wipe away all our liabilities.

(2) We have past accomplishments that we view as somehow giving us credits with God. While we struggle with our sins of the past, we can also be overwhelmed with our good deeds. We would like to think our past accomplishments will make God love us more. Neither our past liabilities nor our past accomplishments are a critical component of our spiritual transformation. Through Isaiah, God says: "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" (ISAIAH 43:18-19) is one of my favorites.

3) Psalm 25 has also always been one of my favorites in the Bible. I have always received great inspiration and peace of mind when I read it, especially verses 4 and 5:

"Make me to know thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths."

"Lead me in thy truth, and teach me, for thou art the God of my salvation; for thee I wait all the day long."

(4) Here is one of my favorite sayings, from Henry Van Dyke. It was given to me by my mother, and I have kept it all these years:

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."

We can joke about it (and believe me, I have driven Milly nuts about it), but there is nothing, physically at least, that we can do about aging. But while everyone gets old, God will make all things new. All we have to do is believe and try each day to live a little better than we did the day before.

(5) I turned 85 on my last birthday. (Okay, that's pretty old, but who's counting?) I know it's all in your mind. I've heard that a few times! Several well-meaning friends—Milly in particular, say that you're only as old as you feel.

Well, I know that I am old. I will never be young again in my life. I don't know how much longer I have to live, but I know this: Whatever time I have left, I want to try to live a better life and make as many people happy as I possibly can.

# Acknowledgement

I want to especially thank Jean Marx for making this autobiography happen, because without her ideas, support, and persistence, I don't think it would have ever been completed. She was always there giving me the encouragement to continue putting on paper some of my life's memories. It was very difficult to go back over 85 years of one's life and to keep some kind of order to the events. Again, I will always be grateful for her kindness and help during this monumental task.

# Appendix --Pictures & Special Memorabilia

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1 year old

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6 years old

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I was born on this property in North Carolina

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House I grew up in until I was about 8 years old

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Moved to this house when my mother married Grover  
when I was about 8-10 yrs. old (Lived here until I joined the Navy)

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My mother stringing tobacco at the barn where it was cured

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My Mother

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Grover at the tobacco barn

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Me at approx. 8-10 years old

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Me priming tobacco

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Me approx. 15-16 years old

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Our church

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My high school in Zebulon, North Carolina

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1939, age 17 in North Carolina wearing my nicest clothes

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USS Colorado – October 11, 1940  
This is the ship I was trying to reach when I fell overboard!

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On leave from the Navy, circa 1940-1941

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On my tour in Adak, Alaska

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My Wedding Day - February 25, 1945

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Bette in 1946 standing beside our 1st car in San Diego  
I'd received an $1,100 bonus when I re-enlisted for another 6-year tour and  
we used it to buy this car for $980!

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Enjoying a quiet moment

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Me as the Officer on the Deck on the USS Oxford  
in Subic Bay, Phillippines in June, 1965

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Grover and my mother in our living room – late 1950's

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House my mother lived in when she died

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Country store at Riley's crossroad

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Final resting place for my mother and Grover  
The graveyard was located across the street from our family church

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Headstone that Bette and I bought for my father, since he didn't have one

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My daughter Pam and her husband Bill

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My grandson Justin

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My granddaughter Jordan

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Pam and Bill in Hawaii

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Pam, Bill, Justin & Jordan

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#

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Standing in front of a store in North Carolina  
that served the best hot dogs when I was a kid

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Milly and Me, 1990

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Granddaughters: Tori, Caroline, Jessica & Kelly

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Grandson Pete

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Christmas, 2007 with Milly & Family:  
From Left to Right and starting from the back:  
Keith – Stephanie's Husband  
Milly's 4 Children:  
Erika, Stephanie, Jeff, & Kurt  
Jean – Kurt's wife  
Milly and Me  
Peter – Kurt & Jean's son  
Kelly – Kurt & Jean's daughter  
Tori – Stephanie & Keith's daughter  
Caroline – Stephanie & Keith's daughter  
Jessica – Jeff's daughter  
Jack – Jeff's dog

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Love, Dad

# About the Author by Jean Marx:

At the time of the original printing of Jack's book in March 2008, he was 85. In 2014 using the wonders of technology that Jack could have never envisioned during his years of growing up comes the publication of his eBook. He adores his family and is enormously proud of serving his country. His true and fascinating story of raising himself out of poverty, leaving his hometown for a world unknown to him, and becoming a true success story in every sense of the word is inspirational for all of us.
