 
# Savage Company

### #3 of Company Men

## Crystal Perkins

### Contents

Savage Company

About Savage Company

Books by Crystal Perkins

The Griffin Brothers series

Corrigan & Co. series

Society Girls series

Company Men series

Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

Things to Know

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Epilogue

Coming Soon

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Copyright © 2017 by Crystal Perkins

Cover Design by Helen Williams

www.allbookedout.com

All trademarks are owned by their respective companies and are denoted by the use of proper capitalization of the company and/or brand. All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This contemporary erotic romance is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners. This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with, especially if you enjoy sexy, emotional, romance novels with alpha males. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

 Created with Vellum

# About Savage Company

**A second chance he's not sure he deserves.**

Haring Kingston lost everything, because of the bad choices he made back home in D.C. Embarrassed at being saved by his sister, and his friends, he drowns himself in alcohol, and one-night stands. Until the femme fatale with the flaming red hair puts him in his place, and the man the world admires offers him the job of a lifetime.

**A secret that could kill them both.**

Natasha has a job to do, and his name is Haring Kingston. She doesn't expect to fall for his cocky attitude, beautiful soul, or sexy hair. But, how can she resist all that? When she realizes can't, she puts them both in danger, vowing to save his life over hers if it's the only choice.

**The future they're going to have to fight for.**

When the dust settles, and everything's revealed, they both have choices to make. Will Haring forgive his Vixen for her lies? Can Natasha forgive him for his words? Friends and family try to intervene, but their love may be too savage to survive.

# Books by Crystal Perkins
# The Griffin Brothers series

Gaming For Love (The Griffin Brothers #1)

Building Our Love (The Griffin Brothers #2)

Creating A Love (The Griffin Brothers #3)

Learning To Love (The Griffin Brothers #4)

Designing The Love (The Griffin Brothers #5)

Working On Love (The Griffin Brothers #6)

Keeping Their Love (The Griffin Brothers #7)

# Corrigan & Co. series

### Fielding Her SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #1)

Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #2)

Rocking a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #3)

Lessons in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #4)

Uncovering His SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #5)

Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #6)

Inheriting a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #7)

Tending Their SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #8)

Playing in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #9)

Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #10)

Society Weddings (a Corrigan & Co. novella)

# Society Girls series

### Society Girls: Sierra (Society Girls, #1)

Society Girls: Neveah (Society Girls, #2)

Society Girls: Matisse (Society Girls, #3)

Society Girls: Waverly (Society Girls, #4)

Society Girls: Rhieve (Society Girls, #5)

Society Girls: Jenysis (Society Girls, #6)

Society Girls: Harlow (Society Girls, #7)

Society Girls: Camari (Society Girls, #8)

Society Girls: Kalila (Society Girls, #9)

Society Girls: Rose (Society Girls, #10)

# Company Men series

### Royal Company (Company Men, #1)

Unexpected Company (Company Men, #2)

**Other books**

A Kiss is Just a Kiss

Activate

Never Fear-Phobias Horror Anthology

Never Fear-Christmas Terrors Anthology

Romantic Times Anthology, Vol. 3

(Gary and Maggie Griffin short story)

Never Fear-The Tarot Anthology

Never Fear-The Apocalypse Anthology

# Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

"People should be free to love whoever their heart leads them, too. And this author did a great job of presenting a passionate love between 2 people who are seen as different from each other as dictated by society, but this difference wasn't a part of the love they share. Ms. Perkins did an admirable job of dealing with the issue (and other issues) as a non issue, if that makes sense." -DianeM, Amazon Reviewer, _Creating A Love_

* * *

"I love this series!!!!!! Crystal has the amazing ability to bring her characters to life. I laugh with them, I hurt with them, I smile with them, and I cry with them." -Jessica, Amazon reviewer, _The Griffin Brothers series_

* * *

"I love how Crystal makes the characters feel like real people." -Tami, Amazon Reviewer, _Learning To Love_

* * *

"This is a lovely romance story that has a sexy sizzle to it but it's funny as well as it is somewhat edgy. I like that the hero has money but it's not the focal point in this story. I love that the heroine has problems but they are not so insurmountable that they take over the story. This is good old-fashioned romance done with a modern day twist. Well Done." -Kindle Customer, Amazon Reviewer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I found this book on Amazon yesterday and loved the cover. I read the synopsis and knew I had to get it. So I purchased it and started to read it right away. Oh my, I could not put the book down. I got so wrapped up in the story I was afraid to put my Kindle down or I would miss a part." -Amazon Customer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I thought this was a fantastic start to a series, and kind of first book of a series that makes you want to rush out and buy each additional book in the series. The premise of a strong group of women working together to help other women in need was pretty awesome. I loved how C0rrigan & Co was a secret covert company along the same lines as the underground railroad but it saved women from sticky situations or abusive relationships." -Aubrey, Romancing the Book blog, _Fielding Her SECRET_

* * *

"I had so many different emotions while reading. I was rooting people, wanting kick people, wanting to rip some peoples clothes off, laughing while reading, gasping out loud. Seriously, I read this like a crazy person. So much happened that I was not mentally prepared for. There were so many shockers while reading this I could not even think about putting the book down." -Sabrina, Amazon Reviewer, _Devouring the SECRET_

* * *

"Love this book the suspense and sex is EPIC." -Teresa Jensen, Amazon Reviewer, _Rocking a SECRET_

* * *

_"_ Perkins breathes life into their characters and has the reader feeling their agony, pain, and even their love for one-another. I enjoy reading her books and learning more and more about each of the people that make up this secretive group." -Dayreader Reviews, _Corrigan & Co. series_

* * *

"In the end I am somehow proud of you Crystal Perkins. How you portrayed Ellie and her and Aiden love. I know I have no right to be, and it's really not my place to say but I am proud I read it and I recommend it to all women so they can see how strong We can be." -Marta Bukowska, Goodreads Reviewer, _Tending Their SECRET_

* * *

"The story flowed well and kept my attention throughout. There was one part I was totally not expecting to happen. I love when that happens." -Lisa Dess, Girls With Books blog, _Training Her SECRET_

* * *

"Wow this story! There are some stories and characters that leave you speechless, breathless and at times slightly broken, and Loving my SECRET Matt & Reina's story is definitely one of them!" -Vicki Plant, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"I laughed I cried and there many times that I wanted to throw my device." -Mallory, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"Perkins gives the reader a quick peak into the Weddings of the amazing ladies in the society. What a fun roller coaster ride it was." -Taz Lozada, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Weddings_

"Totally loved this book as I did with all of crystals book previous to this with their well written gripping story lines brilliant characters a must read really can't wait for the next in series." – Sassylady33, Amazon Reviewer, _Society Girls: Sierra_

"It is banter central, lol and completely full with characters who you actually get to know and enjoy spending time with." – All Booked Out, _A Kiss is Just a Kiss_

"Good book and a really powerful message." Petrina, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Jenysis_

"If you're looking for a great book, this is the one." Renee, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Kalila_

"I love these books!!!! I seem to read them in one sitting I just can't put them down!!!" Rita, Amazon Reviewer

"This is the new series by a brilliant author and still incorporates the characters from her previous series. This book was brilliant, the author always writes about strong characters with a vulnerable side and she delivered once again. This book was one of her more lighthearted ones, but still had the angst I have come to associate with Crystal Perkins." Natasha, Amazon Reviewer, _Royal Company_

# Things to Know

If you haven't read any of the Corrigan & Co. books, you can still read this book. I'm listing some info below that will be helpful to you!

The Society: A secret group of female spies, operating out of the Corrigan & Co. Foundation. It was created by Jane Corrigan, Maggie Griffin, Helen Wilson, Mallory Daniels, and Cyndi Evans. They still make their presence known from time to time, but the Society is now run by Reina Corrigan. She is the wife of Jane's grandson, Matt Corrigan, and someone not to be trifled with.

The male characters in Company Men are all brothers, or friends, of the spies. Most of the women in the books will not know of their existence, since those who work for Corrigan & Co. have no idea what the beautiful women of the Foundation really do. Some are in awe of them, and some resent how they seem to come and go, and do whatever they want.

Corrigan & Co.: Matthew Corrigan runs this public side of the company. One of the most powerful men in the world, he's ruthless in business, and would do anything to protect his wife, and their friends. His brother, Miles, works alongside him, running the Acquisitions department, and doing what he can to help the Society women. His wife, Alex, runs the front desk at the Foundation. Their love story was in the book, _Working on Love_ , which is always free in ebook format, on all platforms.

Haring, in this book, is the brother of Matisse from _Society Girls: Matisse_. He was introduced in _Tending Their SECRET_ , as a friend of Aiden Ford, whose father is the Vice-President of the United States, and wife, Ellie, is part of the Society. In _Society Girls: Kalila_ , Theo had to help free him from a bad loan he accepted from D.C. mobsters. Besides having to give up his roller rink, he had to agree to never return to D.C. His safety depends on it.

The Studkateers are what the men connected to the Society (including the Griffin brothers) call themselves. They have a strong friendship with each other, they're hot, and I love The Three Musketeers, so why not?

Confused? You can always message or email me if you need clarification on something!
**_For anyone who's ever had to start over again. You can do it!_**

# Prologue

Haring

Being exiled from the only city you've ever called home warrants a drink, or two. Or five. Maybe six. I've lost count as I sit at this bar I've been frequenting for the last couple of weeks. It's far enough from where my sister and friends live to provide me the anonymity I crave, but close enough for me to be able to afford an Uber back to my apartment.

"Are you going to leave any alcohol for the rest of us?"

I look up into the face of a genuine femme fatale. She's got bright red hair that's styled in waves touching her shoulders, full red lips, and sparkling green eyes. Her body is encased in green satin, covering her from collarbone to knees, and the way it slides over her lush curves is sexy as hell.

I wave the bartender over. "Give the lady whatever she'd like."

"I didn't ask you to buy me a drink."

"Didn't you?"

"I thought you might be too drunk to notice the invite, but I guess I was wrong."

"I'm not drunk. A little tipsy maybe, but not drunk." It's an important distinction for me right now. One I plan on holding onto.

"Whatever you say."

"My name is Haring, and I fuck hard, and rough. Anything else you need to know?"

"Well, you're not red, so that's disappointing."

It takes my fuzzy brain a moment to catch on to her joke, but I chuckle once I get it. "Haring, like the painter, not herring, like the fish."

"Even more disappointing. Hmm...I should probably pay for my own drink."

"You'd rather I be deceiving?"

"Intriguing. I want to be intrigued, and dancing bodies with no faces don't do it for me."

"Last time I looked in the mirror, I had a face, so I'm not seeing a problem here."

"Yes, you have a very nice face, but all I can think about right now is those paintings your namesake created. I might even have nightmares tonight." She shudders a little to prove her point.

"You're really going to let my name chase you away?"

"Please don't talk about chasing. I was serious about the nightmares."

"I could keep you awake all night."

And damn if I don't want to. Keeping her up with my cock, my tongue, my fingers—whatever she wants—is a good plan, if only she'd get on board with it.

"Tempting, but I'm afraid I have to pass. Thanks for the drink, Haring."

She starts to sashay away on her high heels, but I call out to her. "You never told me your name."

"No, I didn't."

I shake my head, and smile, because I was completely outplayed by the sexy vixen. If her drink wasn't on my tab at the end of the night, I might think the alcohol made her materialize in my head. But, no, she was real. Real enough to make me want more than just a random hook-up for the first time in a long time, and that's not something I can let happen. Wanting just isn't in the cards for me anymore.

Natasha

This is bad. Really bad. Extremely bad. The baddest. Most bad. Whatever the hell the correct way to say it is, I'm living it right now.

Haring Kingston is not supposed to look that good in person. Sure, I saw the pictures, but Holy Hell, they didn't do him justice. His messy hair looks like he just rolled out of bed, and ran his hands through it. It nearly drove me crazy with the need to run _my_ hands through it. His piercing blue eyes, and that damn beard didn't help either. None of it helped. He smelled like a forest on a cool Fall day, and his voice is made for sex, all deep and masculine. How am I supposed to resist all that combined? Or even just one part of it? Why is nothing ever simple in my world? Even just one thing being simple would be nice.

When he said he fucks hard, and rough, my panties pretty much disintegrated, and I almost took him up on the implied offer. I couldn't, though. I need more than one night with the sexy Mr. Kingston. A lot more, and tonight proves it's not just for the job I have to do. I can sleep with him—and I'm going to—but that's all it can be for me. If I let it become more, we will both end up dead when all is said, and done.

# 1

Haring

"Got a minute?" Matt Corrigan asks, joining me at the keg set up in the backyard of his apartment building.

Shit. He's probably decided I've overstayed my welcome in one of the guest suites, since I've been here for six months. My sister keeps telling me no one cares how long I stay, but I know that's not true. I see the pitying looks thrown my way, because they all know what a fuck-up I am. I see them, but I pretend I don't, because none of us want to talk about it, especially not me.

"Sure."

"You might have heard I'm building a new headquarters for the company, so we can have more space for everyone—and everything."

"Yeah. My sister's excited about the thought of new technology, and a new cafeteria."

"Everyone's obsession with the damn cafeteria is amusing, so I can't wait for them to see what else I have planned."

The Corrigan & Co. cafeteria is the stuff of legends. As someone who's seen it, I can agree that all the hype is real. "Something better than the cafeteria? This I have to hear!"

"You too?" he asks, shaking his head. "The old building will come down immediately after we've moved, and I want to build something new there. A recreational center like no other, for my employees and their families. I'm toying with the idea of letting charities and schools use it sometimes too, but I still have to work out insurance logistics."

"With basketball courts, and stuff?"

"Basketball, baseball, soccer, tennis, hockey, a roller rink, an indoor water park, a full miniature golf course, really anything you can think of."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I think you'd be the perfect person to manage the day-to-day operations for me, and I want you to be in on everything from the ground up. I want you to work on the design, and decide what needs to be included."

That sounds like a dream come true, but after losing my first dream, I'm a little wary these days. "You don't have to do that. I know I've been mooching, and I promise to get my act together, and find a job as soon as possible."

"I don't offer people jobs unless I mean it, and the job I'd like you to find is the one I'm offering you." There's no anger in his words, but the power and truth behind them hit me full force, and I find a big lump in my throat, as I try not to choke up at his faith and trust in me.

"Thank you."

"Come see me on Monday, and we'll work out the terms."

He claps me on the back, and walks away, joining his wife and little boy on one of the covered beds around the pool. I'm humbled that he asked me to do this job, and jealous right now, because he has someone to go home to. Hell, I'm jealous he has a home at all. Not the place itself, but the feeling—and rightness—of knowing you belong. I lost that, along with the physical building I once owned, and I don't know if I'll ever get it back.

It's those thoughts that bring me back to the bar I haven't been to in over a month, later that evening. The one with the femme fatale who walked away from me. I'm not here to see her, or at least that's the lie I'm telling myself right now, as I finish my second vodka of the night. I want to be clear-headed if she walks through the door, but I also need some liquid courage.

"You're cut off," the bartender tells me, when I call him, to ask for a third.

"I've only had two," I protest.

"Take it up with the boss."

"Where is he?"

" _She_ is right here."

I turn to see her standing behind me. _Her_. She's got her hair in waves again, and her curves are poured into black silk this time around. She looks even better than I remember, and I practically swallow my tongue as I take her in.

"You run this place?"

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Only when you're cutting me off after two drinks."

She tips her chin, and the bartender gets lost. "Two, or twenty, it doesn't matter to me. I just want you sober enough to talk to me."

"I thought you found me boring."

"You were coming here every night to get drunk, and fucked—and that's pretty damn boring to me."

"And now?"

"Now, I might be willing to let you take me to dinner."

"I don't date."

"Pity," she says with a shrug. "Your drinks are on me tonight, so you can leave any time you're ready."

"I'll be ready after a few more drinks, and a conversation with her."

I nod to the brunette who's been eye-fucking me since I got here. I wasn't interested—and honestly, I'm still not—but mindless fucks are pretty much all I'm good for, and I need this woman to realize that.

Even with Matt's offer, I still feel useless. I have a dream job offer, and I can only think of myself as a mess. I see myself as a failure, and nothing else. Because that's what I am.

"You won't have a conversation with me, but you'll have one with someone else. Got it. I'll stop wasting my time."

She starts to walk away, and I grab her arm. "I'm not going to talk to her, Vixen. If I was in a place to talk to anyone, you'd be it. I just want to fuck."

"You left out the 'hard', and 'rough' this time."

"They're a given, so no reason to mention them again."

"I'd tell you to come see me when you want more, but I'm not going to wait for you, Haring. I've got my own share of admirers, and they'd jump at the chance to have dinner with me."

"Cocky much?"

"Honest," she replies, flipping her hair over one shoulder.

I don't need to look past her to see the men who are hungrily eating her up with their eyes. Hell, I'm one of them. Anyone would be lucky to go on a date with her, but I'm just not in the right place for that.

"I wouldn't be good company."

"Let me be the judge of that."

One dinner. What can one dinner hurt? Maybe a lot, but I'm giving in anyway.

"Where am I picking you up tomorrow night?"

"I'll meet you at Public House 702 at six."

"Don't want me to know where you live?"

"A girl's gotta keep some things secret."

"Like her name?"

"It's Natasha, but I think I like you calling me Vixen."

Damn, if it doesn't fit the sultry vibe she's got going on. Both do, but I'm going for her given one first. Only I want something more from her. A piece of the woman she is when she's with her friends.

"Nat or Tasha?"

"Natasha."

"I'll ask again when I'm fucking you."

She leans over to whisper in my ear, darting her tongue out to lick the shell of it first. "Unless you're a wizard, and your wand is magical, it's still going to be Natasha _if_ I let you have the pleasure of my pussy."

I want to kiss her. I want to pull her mouth to mine, and claim her in front of this entire fucking bar. But, she's not mine to claim. Not now, and not ever. I'm only good for fucking. Playing and fucking. Fucking up and fucking. Yeah, I sometimes want more, but it's not going to happen anytime soon.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Natasha," I tell her, getting up from my seat, and walking out the door. After not-so-subtly brushing up against her, of course. She shivers, and unlike last time when she was talking about nightmares, I know she's thinking of fantasies right now.

Natasha

What does one wear on a first date the man doesn't even want to be going on? After much deliberation, I put on a navy-blue dress with a keyhole in front, a wide belt at my waist, and a flirty skirt that hits above my knees. The curves I work so hard to maintain fill it out nicely, and I know Haring's going to eat me alive with those blue eyes of his when he sees me. That's all, though. Looking, and not touching. I have to be strong, and keep my legs closed tonight—even if it kills me.

I'm reminding myself of that when I walk into the restaurant, and see him waiting for me. His hair's the usual mess, his beard's closely cropped, and his smirk is in full-force. Add in the button-down with a generous amount of chest showing, and faded jeans, and yeah, I'm in sexual hell.

"You look ravishing, Natasha."

"You look like you forgot how to properly button your shirt."

He looks down to where at least four buttons are undone, then back at me. "Looks good to me."

I'm tempted to do one of two things; turn and walk away, or grab his open shirt, and kiss the fuck out of that damn mouth of his. I do neither, nodding to the host, and following him to our table. I know Haring's behind me, as I can hear his soft chuckle.

"How does your brain even fit in your skull along with that ego?"

"I work hard to make my body look this good. Am I supposed to pretend I don't know women like it enough to drop their panties in exchange for the chance to touch me?"

"Just a touch?"

"You want a taste, Vixen? Or I could just lift that flirty little skirt, and taste _you_. I'll gladly crawl under the table in front of these nice people enjoying their dinner, and have an appetizer to hold me over."

"I want a drink." Or five.

I need alcohol. And a fan. No, some ice cubes to drop into the hole in my dress, because this man is making me practically combust just from his words.

"You can have one of those too," he says with a wink, and I realize how he took what I said.

"In your dreams." And my dreams too.

"Damn right."

I should've walked away. No, I should've run. I have to interact with him, but not like this. I don't have to fuck him, or let him fuck me however he wants. Wherever he wants. When he wants. Oh God, I could maybe grab a cube from my water glass without him noticing, couldn't I? I have to put a stop to this right now.

"Dinner. We're just having dinner."

"Whatever you say."

He "behaves" through dinner, as we drink beer, share a pizza, and talk. He doesn't tell me anything I don't already know about him, but I like that I'm hearing it from the source. Maybe I like it a little too much, because after my second beer, I let him rub his leg against mine, and wipe sauce from the corner of my mouth. I can't blame it on the alcohol, even though I want to.

It's the man. The man who tells me about growing up with his sister, and how he enjoyed high school, but not too much else. He doesn't mention Aiden Ford, or his connection to him. He doesn't mention why he left D.C., or the threats he lived under there. But, it doesn't matter, because he's telling me what he'd tell a woman on a first date, and that's exactly what I need to be right now. Just a woman on a date with a man. After all, I didn't tell him all my truths, either.

"Your place or mine?" Haring asks, once he's sent his credit card off with the waiter.

"Both."

"Both?"

"Yes. You're going to yours, and I'm going to mine."

"Seriously?"

"I told you I wasn't going to sleep with you."

But, oh how I want to. If he pushes me, I'm going to crumble like the Berlin Wall.

"That was last night. We just had dinner, and some great conversation."

"You're not going to tell me I owe you a fuck because you bought me dinner, are you?"

He sits back, and blows out a breath. "Never. I would never expect that. I just thought...we connected."

"We did, and I would love to go on a second date with you."

He looks me in the eye, and nods. "I'd like that too. Do I at least get to pick the place next time?"

"As long as it's not your bed, yes."

The waiter brings back the card, and Haring signs the slip, before standing, and holding out his hand to me. I take it, and revel in the simple act of holding this man's hand. It's dangerous for both of us, but I can't help myself. I need the contact.

It's even more dangerous for us when I let him cup my cheek and kiss me while I wait for my car to be brought around by the valet guy. It's a sweet, and almost chaste, touching of lips, nothing that should send my heart-racing. Yet, it does. Sex is one thing, but that beating organ in my chest needs to stay away from Haring Kingston. Far, far, away.

# 2

Haring

I have a little spring in my step when I walk into the Corrigan & Co. building the next day. I've been here frequently, visiting my sister, so there's a badge on file for me already at the security desk. Matt texted, and said to go straight to his office, after I'm checked in. Ainsley's team must know, because I'm taken to the top floor of the building, once I step into the elevator.

"Hello, Haring. Matt said for you to go right in."

"Thanks," I tell his main assistant, walking through the doors that open when I approach.

"Hey man, have a seat," Matt tells me, typing faster than I would've thought he could on his keyboard. He presses his thumb to a small pad next to it when he's done, then turns to me. "Sorry about that. I'm hiring a new fourth assistant, and I had to approver her package."

I can't help it. I'm in a good mood, and he left himself right open for that. "I didn't know I was having my package inspected today."

"Someone's feeling better today."

"I'm psyched about this job, and I had a great date last night," I admit, slouching down in my chair.

"A good woman can make everything better."

"Truth."

"Back to the job, I was hoping you might be more excited than you looked on Saturday."

That makes me sit up, and look him in the eye. "I am. I want this, Matt. I even came up with some preliminary ideas."

"Hit me with them."

"Without a contract?"

He lets out a full-bodied laugh, and slides a tablet across his desk to me. "You're going to fit right in here."

We go over every part of my contract, and I'm seriously in awe. The money is more than I've ever seen, the benefits are ridiculously good, and I even get my own office. I sign without a second thought, and after he does the same—again with his thumbprint—we get to my plans.

"I love everything you mentioned, and I drew up these initial plans," I say, showing him the drawings I made. They're crude and rudimentary, but you can see what I'm going for.

"The placement of everything is perfect. I wouldn't have thought to put some of these things next to each other, but it works."

"I think so."

"The new C&C building will be opening in two weeks, and then Ainsley and Audrey's teams will destroy what they need to here. After, it will be brought down, and we can break ground on your building. I'm not sure if Ryan Griffin will handle yours, or have Noah do it, but either way, I'll have one of my people set up a meeting at Griffin for you this week."

"Great." I know Noah, because he lives in the apartments, too. We've hung out by the pool a few times, so it'd be cool to work with him on this.

"Chloe's busy with the new building, but she can get your office there personalized for you once she's done with the ones she's already designed."

"I'm sure it's fine as it is. I only need a chair and a desk."

"I don't do 'fine', Haring."

He looks offended, and I have to fight the urge to laugh. "Noted."

A young man is waiting for me when the doors open, and he leads me down one floor to my new office. I'm guessing my one at the new building will be identical, but for now, I'll get myself settled in here. It's not on the corner, but it has a large window, and it's bigger than the one I had at the rink. And yes, there's a high-tech chair, and a sleek desk just for me.

A pang goes through me when I remember the place that was once my own, but I close my eyes and breathe through the hurt. I have no one but myself to blame for the loss of almost everything I loved. This is a new start, and I'm going to embrace it. I may not own this new place, but in all other ways, it's _mine_. Matt said it, and I know him well enough to believe him.

My morning is busy, with people in and out of my office, helping me get settled. One of Ainsley's people brings me a laptop, and phone, going over how to access everything I need. After, someone from the secretarial pool on this floor comes by to take down my supply needs. I don't think I'll need much, so she shows me the small supply room I can take pens, paper, and a stapler from.

She also tries to give me her number, but I turn her down. I don't know the office politics here, but even if I knew it was okay, I couldn't take the number. I don't know what's happening with Natasha, but I'm pretty sure she expects me to be monogamous. She didn't say it, but I'm sure of it all the same. In the past, I would've balked at being tied to just one woman, because my circle of trust is very small, but I'm drawn to her in a way I've never known. If she wants everything from me, I'm prepared to give it to her.

Natasha

"You've made contact."

It's not a question, which tells me what I already know—I'm being watched. "Yes."

"You know what you need to do."

"Yes."

The click of the phone tells me I'm still trusted. I would've received instructions, and threats, if I wasn't, and I breathe a sigh of relief that I'm still relatively safe. I've done nothing to earn a lack of trust, but with these men, there's no telling what could set them off, or make them react. I live in constant fear of doing or saying the wrong thing, but for now, I'm good. At least with them.

Haring is a completely different matter, and as I get ready for our date tonight, I can't help looking forward to how it's all going to play out. There's no going back, and there's no stopping what's going to happen. I can't dwell on that, because I have a job to do, and there's no way in hell I won't get it done, but I still feel a pang of guilt about it. One I force myself to push aside for the moment.

I put on light blue wide-leg slacks, and a burnished gold halter top, but I don't know what we're doing tonight, so I hope I'm dressing okay for our date. I gave control to Haring, and all he'd say was to be comfortable, and bring socks. He's a wild card—in more ways than one—so I'm completely in the dark here. Deciding it's probably going to be more casual than not, I gather my hair into a ponytail. I curl the ends, because I don't want to look severe, and put on my signature red lipstick, because I never leave home without it.

The knock at my apartment door comes right after I've sprayed some perfume on. I relented, and gave him my address, because he's going to end up here eventually; my endgame depends on it, even if the words have never been spoken. I know it, and so do they.

"Hi," I tell him, opening the door with a smile. He's in jeans and a t-shirt, and his own smile dims a little when he looks me over.

"You're a little overdressed, Vixen. Stunning, obviously, but I'm not sure you'll fit in where we're going."

"You said to wear something comfortable, and I'm comfortable in these clothes."

He gives me a sexy, lopsided smile, and nods. "Okay, then. Your chariot awaits."

It's not a chariot he leads me to, but his Mustang. I've seen pictures of it, and I know his sister, Matisse, had it brought here for him from D.C. I'd be very surprised if his rich friends didn't pay it off for him. His safety net, and how they've protected him for all these years, is one of the reasons I tell myself he deserves what's coming; he's had it far too easy, for far too long.

I'm surprised when our destination turns out to be the local roller rink. This is the last place I'd expect Haring to bring me. "I haven't skated in years," I tell him, when he opens my door.

"Don't worry, I'll hold your hand until you remember how it's done."

"Now it all becomes clear," I tell him as I take my rental skates from the young guy at the desk. "You just want to hold my hand."

"Actually, I brought you here because I used to own a rink."

Whoa. Here we go. I didn't think we'd get here this soon.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We had free skate like this, plus roller derby. I used to manage one of the teams."

"Sounds fun."

"It was, until it wasn't."

"I'm a good listener if you've got a story you'd like to tell."

"Thanks, but some things are better left unsaid."

I hide my disappointment with a smile, and place a hand on his forearm. "Do you miss it?"

"Every day. But, I just signed a contract with Matt Corrigan for what looks to be a dream job, so I'm coping a little better these days."

"Good to hear."

Pushing him right now could backfire on me, but I need info on his new job. He mentioned he was meeting with Matt, but I wasn't aware it had gone far enough for him to sign on to C&C. Matt is notorious for protecting his people, and treating them well. Those are two things I can't allow to happen. I made a rookie mistake in not realizing how serious it was, and now I have to find some way to undo this. I don't know how, but I'm going to try.

"The ground's still a little shaky beneath my feet, but things are looking pretty good right now."

"You don't miss your old life?"

"I miss it every day, but when things are out of your control, you have to make the best of what you have. Or at least, that's what my sister and friends tell me."

"Where was it, the rink?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"D.C."

"I've always wanted to go there! Would you be willing to be my tour guide when I do?"

I see the pain that flashes across his face, and it causes me a moment of pain as well. I hate that I'm doing this to him, but I know I have to. He's not a completely good man. I keep telling myself that, because I have to destroy him no matter what I'm feeling right now, and it's easier to do that if I focus on the bad. The guilt ebbs slightly, but it's still there, reminding me I'm not so good, either.

"Sorry, but no. My life is here now."

"Oh. I didn't mean to pry, or upset you."

"You didn't. But, no more distractions—let's skate."

I take his offered hand, and let him pull me onto the skating oval. I'm a little shaky at first, and that's why I'm letting him hold my hand. It's the only reason. And yeah, I continue lying to myself as we do the couples skate. I even tell myself I'm only making out with him outside my apartment door because it's part of the job I'm here to do. All lies I tell myself again and again.

# 3

Haring

"Hey, Gaugin," my sister says, sitting down across from me in the C&C cafeteria.

It's a game we play, calling each other by different painters than the ones we were named after. Growing up as Matisse and Haring was not exactly easy.

"Hi, Villers."

"How's the new job? How's the new girl? Tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Not the sex, obviously," she says, tossing a wadded-up napkin at me.

"There's none of that happening. Yet."

"Excuse me? Did my brother, who lives and dies by his dick and the one-night stand, just tell me he hasn't slept with the girl he took out last night?"

"I can keep it in my pants." I don't want to, but I've proven that I can. "We've had two dates already."

"Someone call the world record people."

"It's not that big of a deal."

"Lies. All lies."

I sigh, and tell the truth. "Okay, so it's not my usual thing, but it's nice."

"Nice?" she asks, sticking out her tongue as she pokes her finger into her mouth.

"You are such an annoying little sister! You know that, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Fine. I like her. More than just as a fuck."

"That was harder than it should've been."

"I have trust issues."

"I know," she says softly, and I feel like an ass now. I got myself into trouble all on my own, and she helped to get me out of it.

"None of that has to do with you."

"I've kept things from you."

"We're not supposed to tell each other everything. Most stuff, yeah, but not every single thing."

"You'd tell me if you had any trouble again, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would."

It's the truth. If I'd told my sister, or my good friend, Aiden, things would never have gone as far as they did. I would still have my rink, and I'd still be in D.C. Looking at my life now, I'm thinking maybe it's good I left there. I have this great new job, and a woman I want more than sex from. It's the first time I've felt this way, and it freaks me out a little, while also allowing me to realize I'm finally getting past what I lost.

"I'm glad you're here," she tells me, placing her hand on mine.

"So am I."

Her smile gets even brighter, and I know this is where I need to be right now. For both of us, and maybe for Natasha too.

"Tell me more about this lady of yours."

"She busts my balls, and not in the sexy way."

"Perfect."

I toss a fry at her, but admit the truth of it. "She kind of is."

"It's adorable to see you finally being twisted up because of a woman."

"She's different. Sexy as hell, but like I said, she doesn't take any bullshit."

"You met at a bar?"

"Yep. I didn't know she managed it until the second time I saw her."

"So, she's seen you at your worst." My sister doesn't pull any punches, which is one of the things I love most about her.

"Pretty much. She still asked me out."

Matisse stops with her fork halfway to her mouth, which is hanging open. " _She_ asked _you_ out? The plot thickens."

"She's not the first woman to ask me out."

"I didn't say she was. I just know you usually send the women who ask on their merry little way."

"I like to be doing the asking," I agree. "I would've asked her if she hadn't asked me first."

"When can I meet this woman, who's captivated you enough to make you break your rules?"

I roll my eyes. "I didn't break anything. And, maybe in a couple weeks."

"Planning ahead? I like it."

Yeah, so do I, and for once in my life, it doesn't scare me. Natasha doesn't scare me. And building a new life for myself here doesn't scare me. I don't know if it means I'm finally a grownup, or just that I've really accepted things, and moved on. Either way, I'm embracing the fuck out of it.

Natasha

"You working here tonight, boss?"

It's not an idle question, even though my head bartender pretends it is. He works for the same person I do, and there's no chance in hell I'll ever trust him. He's asking because no one completely trusts _me_. Hell, no one trusts anyone in this business, but I'm the biggest fish in this particular swamp right now, so all eyes are definitely on me.

* * *

"Yes."

He shakes his head. "You should be out with Kingston."

"And you should stick to your job, and leave me to mine."

He hesitates, and I know he wants to say that I'm his job, but he doesn't. We both know it already, even though we pretend we don't. "Whatever you say."

The problem is, it doesn't work that way. I have no say in what's happening. Well, almost no say. I don't have to kiss Haring, or sleep with him, even though it's encouraged. I don't have to crave his company, or the happiness I feel when I make the shadows disappear from his eyes for even a moment. I don't have to, but at the same time, I do. For me—and him. Not for my boss, who just wants me to help cause him pain.

My cell phone rings, and I smile when I see Haring's name on the screen. "Hi."

"Hey, Vixen. I know you have to work tonight, but I was hoping you'd come hang out with me and my friends tomorrow for a barbeque."

"Your friends? Would that include your sister?"

"It would. Does that scare you?"

"Should it?"

"Nah, although lots of people get intimidated by her. And, yeah, her bite is just as bad as her bark, so they aren't wrong."

"Not reassuring me here."

"I'll hold your hand, and keep you safe."

"That's better."

"So, it's a yes?"

"Yes."

"I'll pick you up at 2."

"Okay."

I hang up, and my phone immediately rings again. I don't need to look to know who it is this time. My phone isn't really my own, either. I walk toward my office, because I need to sit down, and looking weak in front of the men in the bar is not something I can afford to do.

"He trusts you. Good work. You know what to do now."

"I do."

"You're going to be rewarded for this, Natasha."

"I know."

"You do not sound happy."

"I am."

"Good. I'd hate for you to have the same fate as Kingston."

"You know I'm loyal."

"We shall see."

He hangs up as I sink into my chair. I reach into my bottom desk drawer, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Drinking it straight from the bottle is not something a proper lady would do, so it's a good thing I'm neither of those. Once, I was expected to be a lady and also proper, but that ship sailed a very long time ago. Right about the time I sold my morals to the highest bidder.

Haring

I walk up to Natasha's door, feeling like it's my first date. I guess, in a way it is. Even in high school, I didn't really date as much as take the head cheerleader under the bleachers for a blow job. Yeah, I know I'm a class act. But, in all fairness, I've never pretended to be anything other than who I am. With Natasha, I want to be classy, and treat her how I know she deserves, but not because she expects it. I do it because I want to be the man who deserves her.

When she opens the door, I can't help but smile. My woman always over-dresses for things. My woman? Huh—yeah, in my mind, she is, and the thought's not as weird as the player in me would expect it to be.

"Everyone's probably going to be in jeans, babe."

"I thought about jeans, but I don't usually wear them to gatherings, and it would just make me feel more awkward," she tells me, pulling at her dress.

It's a wrap style on top, with a gathered part in the middle, and another one of those flippy little skirts she favors. She looks gorgeous, as always. I take her fidgeting hand, and bring it to my mouth for a kiss.

"You're beautiful in anything."

"Thanks."

I reclaim her hand after she locks her door, and hold it in mine until I help her into my car. I like seeing her there, all fancy and shit, against my leather seats. She looks like she belongs in this fast car, even though she's all about taking things slow.

"So, who all am I going to meet at this gathering?" she asks, as we drive away.

"My sister, her man, most of the people she works with at the Corrigan & Co. Foundation, and some of the C&C guys. Oh, and one of them is my best friend from D.C., Aiden Ford."

"The VP's son?"

"Yeah. I've known him and his dad for years. We were college roommates for a couple weeks, and stayed friends after I moved out."

"Did you not like the dorms?"

"I loved them, but I love my sister more, and I was all she had when our parents died."

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks, but it was a long time ago, and we managed. Sort of. Matisse pushed every button I have, and more. If it wasn't for Aiden and his dad, I'm not sure either of us would've survived."

"But you did. How much older are you than her?"

"Almost five years. Thankfully. If I'd been seventeen, she would've gone into foster care. Hell, without Tim Jones on my side, I wouldn't have gotten custody of her, even though I was of age."

"Aiden's dad helped you that much, huh?"

"Yes."

There is so much I could say about Aiden and his dad. About how Aiden was like a second brother to Matisse, and his dad picked her up when she got into situations she didn't want to call me for. I owe them so much, and even more for what Theo did in D.C. If he hadn't come there, and thrown their weight around, I would probably be dead. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is exactly why I find myself at the bottom of a bottle most days. Or at least I did, before Matt and Natasha gave me reasons to stay sober.

I force myself to concentrate on now, and not then, as she reaches over, and squeezes my thigh. "I don't know what happened, but I'll be here if you need to talk. I know I told you that already, but I want to make sure you know I mean it."

"Thanks."

The thing is, I might just take her up on that offer. Not today, and probably not tomorrow. But, it's going to happen. It has to if I want whatever this is to continue—and I do.

# 4

Natasha

I'm here, in the inner sanctum of the Corrigan world. The C&C office building is a fortress, but their apartment building takes security about a thousand steps further. Entry here is on an invitation-only basis, and I don't doubt the guards discreetly stationed everywhere would shoot to kill anyone who dares intrude. But, I'm here, and I plan to be invited back again.

"You must be Natasha!" a woman with a severe black bob, and tattoos on her exposed skin yells, running up to me as we walk outside.

"Chill, O'Keefe," Haring tells her with an eyeroll.

I'm confused—because I thought her name was Matisse—until she responds. "Shut it, Kandinsky. This is a big moment. You've never introduced us to a woman before."

"For good reason, apparently."

"Kandinsky is more intriguing than Haring," I tell him with a shrug.

"Ooh, I like her already," Matisse says, giving me a high five.

"Really? I haven't intrigued you enough by now?"

I don't want him pulling away, so I pull him to me, and kiss him hard. "Just teasing you."

"On that note, let's introduce you to everyone."

Most of their friends are nice, including Matt and Reina Corrigan, who come across as intimidating when I see them on TV. Even when they're smiling, you somehow know not to mess with them. Today, they're coming across like just a normal couple, in love with each other, and their baby. If I was just a "normal" person myself, I'd almost forget how dangerous they could be to me. Since I'm not, I vow to stay on my toes around them.

Aiden squeezes my hand a little harder than necessary when we're introduced, but I just mentally roll my eyes, because I understand him being protective of his friend. Jake Mason is the only other one who treats me a little differently. He sits next to me when Haring goes to grab a beer, staring straight ahead. He doesn't talk to me, but he fidgets a lot, and taps on his knee.

"Um, hi."

"Hi."

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Not really. Just having a seat."

"Okay."

It's a little weird, but this whole situation is anything but normal, despite what it looks like around me. I see happy couples, and a few kids, all of them laughing and kissing each other. But, like with Matt and Reina, I know it's not all it seems to be. No one looking in from the outside would know the danger lurking below the surface. A part of me wishes I didn't know, either, but I do.

"You look sad," Haring says, coming back with his drink. Jake excuses himself, and he takes the seat next to me again.

"Just thinking."

"Was he bothering you? You were tapping your knee like your life depended on it."

"Was I? I didn't even notice. And no, Jake wasn't bothering me."

"So, what deep thoughts are you thinking?"

I give him an answer that's the truth, although it isn't what I was thinking about right now. "I was thinking about how deep you're going to go when you take me up to your apartment."

His eyes go dark, and he literally growls at me. "Are you serious?"

"I would not joke about getting a good, hard, fuck."

"It's going to be better than good."

"Prove it."

He sets his bottle on the table, grabs my hand, and pulls me to my feet. He's holding me so hard it hurts, as he leads me back inside. I mention saying goodbye to everyone, but he just keeps stalking through the lobby, with me practically running to keep up.

I think he'll get things started once we're in the elevator, but he just holds my hand while staring straight ahead. For a second, I even think he might be mad at me. Until he turns, and the smoldering look on his face nearly brings me to my knees.

"Thank you."

"I want this."

"It's still a gift."

Holy Hell, this man. He's going to be the death of me—and I don't just mean the orgasm he's about to give me. I mean, real death. I've avoided that fate for a long time, but Haring makes me not care about myself, and that's what is so dangerous about all of this. If I'm distracted, I could get us both killed—and maybe some of the others downstairs, too. Sex. This just has to be sex, even if it isn't.

Haring

I'm taking Natasha to my bed. That's all I can think about as I practically drag her back to my cave—err, apartment. I'm feeling like some pre-historic guy who's claiming his woman, and I can't seem to turn it down, even one notch.

Well, except for the elevator. I felt Natasha's fear, and it broke through my crazy for a moment. I'm about to be really crazy, and demanding, but I never want her to be scared of me. _Never_.

I pick her up the moment the door closes behind us. I have her under the ass, so it's all me, and she's not able to wrap her legs around my body. I _need_ her to know I'm strong enough to carry her. It's some fucked-up caveman shit, but it's what I crave right now.

"It's going to be hard, and rough, but you tell me to stop if I'm hurting you in any way, okay?"

"You won't."

"I won't mean to, but I'm not feeling exactly like myself right now. You've brought out a side of me that's never been set free before."

"Do what you need to, Haring. I want it. I promise."

I toss her down, once again thankful for the bed Chloe Griffin put in this room. It's one of the reasons I chose this apartment as mine. Large pieces of wood are spaced a few inches apart at the head of the bed, exposing the slim pieces that form the vertical base. Just enough room for me to attach the restraints I'm partial to.

I go to the top drawer of my dresser, and pull them out. Natasha's eyes go wide when I turn back to her with them in my hands. She looks scared again.

"What's wrong, Vixen?"

"I don't like to be tied up."

"Is that a hard no, or are you just going to be a little uncomfortable until I put my mouth on you?"

Her eyes show a range of emotions while she makes her decision. Her eyes are closed when she speaks. "You can do it."

I love that she trusts me, but hate the thought of her not enjoying what we're going to do as much as I will. After attaching the restraints, I kneel on the bench at the end of the bed, and pull her to me, until her thighs are spread around mine.

I start at her forehead, pressing kisses from one side to the other. I continue dusting her face with soft kisses, until I reach her mouth. The kiss we share is hot, and sexy, yet still a little sweet. Her jaw gets a full treatment, before I take my lips lower.

Her neck is a thing of beauty, and I worship it with the attention it deserves. My mouth sucks, my teeth nip, and my tongue soothes. I want to mark her, but I know better; she can't go into her bar all marked up without drawing attention. I _am_ going to mark her, but lower, where only she and I will see it.

My hands have been clenched at my sides, but as soon as I'm done playing with her ears, I let them join in on the fun. I feast on her collarbone with my mouth, while my hands push her dress down her shoulders. I use my teeth to pull the straps of her bra down, forcing my eyes closed while I lavish her arms with kisses. She lifts her arms to help me get them out of the sleeves, and I kiss her hands in thanks.

I finally allow myself to look at her tits, and the sight of them makes me thirst like a dog on a hot day. Damn. Her bra is full coverage, grey, and made for functionality, and not fucking, but _damn_. There's no hiding the size of her tits, and when I cup my hands around them, their weight is perfect, too.

"Beautiful, fuckable, and inspiring," I tell her as I pull the cups down.

These beauties are mine, and I make sure Natasha knows it. I leave bite marks all over them both as I devour her. Her back is arched, and she moans as I have my fill.

"Haring...yes," she tells me as I suck one nipple deep into my mouth.

I could stay here all day, making sure every inch of her tits is covered in red, but I want to go lower, and then I want to fuck. My dick is so hard it hurts, and it's also leaking. I could come without being inside her, because just having my hands and mouth on her is so fucking erotic, but I'm forcing myself to hold back.

I lick her ribs from side to side, and rub my lips over her stomach, pushing the fabric of her dress lower as I go. When there's nowhere left to go, I pull it up, and over her head, leaving her bra as is, because it looks so sexy pulled down.

Her panties are also about more function than fashion, telling me she didn't think she was going to be in my bed tonight. I don't know what changed her mind, but I'm definitely not complaining. Especially because she's not acting embarrassed about what she's wearing. It's hot as fuck to have a woman own her lingerie, along with her body.

Sliding her panties down, I unveil her pussy, and it's as pretty as I knew it would be. She's not bare, but her red curls are neatly trimmed. I can't help but draw a finger through her lips, before lifting her legs in front of me to slide the satin off. I take one shoe off at a time, showing her feet some love, and working my way down each leg, and back to her thighs.

Spreading her wide open once again, I nibble on her thighs as she squirms, and starts to beg. "Please."

"Soon," I promise her, biting her left hip, and then, her right.

I slide her a little further up the bed, so I don't have to bend to reach the place my mouth is watering for. I meet her eyes for a moment, smiling at her, and then there's no turning back for either of us. Not that I ever imagined there would be.

# 5

Natasha

Haring's head drops between my thighs, and I know what Heaven is. He is one talented man, and I force myself not to think about all the practice he's had, and let the feel of his mouth on me take over. His tongue slides up and down, from my clit to my opening, letting his teeth play a little too. And don't even get me started on how good that beard of his feels as it rubs over my skin. I am so wet and ready, after having his mouth all over my body, and it's not going to take much work to get me to release.

Just looking at my breasts, covered in bite marks, takes me to the edge of orgasm. I've never let a man mark me up, but I let Haring do it without question. I'm about to let him tie me up, and that's not something I ever thought I'd willingly do, either. This man is making me re-think so many things, and it's a dangerous line I'm walking down the middle of.

"Where'd you go, Vixen?" Haring asks, looking up me with concern.

His mouth is covered in me, and he's still fully clothed, making this the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life. "Sorry. Just got lost in my thoughts for a moment."

"Don't apologize. I can stop if you don't like it."

"I love it. Please don't stop."

"You're sure?"

I lean forward and pull his mouth to mine for a quick kiss. "Yes."

He kisses his way back down, and I don't think of anything except what he's doing to my body. It doesn't take him long to bring me back to the edge, and right over it. I'm surprised my back didn't break with how hard it was bowed as I came. I didn't see stars, because everything went blinding white, and everything's still a little blurry when I finally open my eyes again.

"There you are," Haring says, wiping his hand over his mouth.

"You're very good at that."

"I know," he says, returning to the cocky ass I met the first night in the bar.

"You sure know how ruin a moment," I tell him, moving to get out of bed.

He scrambles onto the bed, and pulls me to him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere I'm appreciated."

"You think I don't appreciate you? That I'm not so fucking thankful you're choosing to be here with me?"

I shrug, because I'm still naked, and he's still clothed. It was sexy when he had his mouth on me, but now, it makes me embarrassed. "I'm at a little disadvantage here."

"What? Oh, damn. I didn't think about that."

Haring pulls us both to our feet, and has his shirt over his head in seconds. Wow. His chest is a playground, full of ridges, bulging muscles, and just the right amount of hair. I want to suck on his nipples, and bite his abs, but then his shorts are gone. I was so distracted by his muscles that I don't know where they went. Honestly, I don't fucking care, as I continue to take him in.

I get a few seconds to see how his boxer briefs hug his body, before they are whisked away as well. And that's when my mouth doesn't know what to do. It's dry for a few seconds, and then it's watering—wanting the beautiful cock in front of me inside of it. My pussy wants it too, and I'm not sure who's going to win this battle.

"I want it," I blurt out, covering my mouth immediately after. I'm not shy about sex, or wanting it, but I'm usually less blunt.

"It's all yours," Haring says, stroking himself, as liquid leaks from the tip.

I lean forward, and catch the drops on my tongue, moaning in ecstasy. I think my mouth might win, but then he's on me. I'm lifted to the top of the bed, and my hands are shackled, before I can even protest. Not that I would, because I told him he could do it. I don't want it, but I agreed to it.

I can do this. I _can_. Haring wants it this way, and I want to give it—me—to him the way he wants me. He's not going to hurt me. If I keep telling myself all these things over, and over again, maybe I'll be okay. Maybe.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know. I believed you when you promised."

"I almost came when I was worshipping your body, and I'm feeling a little wild, but I can go slow if you need that."

"I don't. Fuck me hard, and rough." The quicker it's over, the quicker he'll release me.

"Soft later."

"Maybe."

"Oh, we're not stopping at once, Vixen. Once will never be enough with you."

I can't help but smile. "I meant maybe we'd be soft later. You're not getting rid of me after one time, Mr. Kingston."

Haring

She looks like a wet dream come true, all spread out on my bed, with her hands bound. She seemed a little nervous when I took out the restraints, but now she's looking at me like I'm the answer to her prayers. I've never had anyone look at me like this, and it's making that caveman rise back to the surface. This woman is mine, and I'm going to ruin her for every other man on this planet.

She told me I could take her hard, and I do. After covering my cock, I kneel on either side of her, lift her legs to wrap around me, and thrust deep inside of her. So damn deep. Oh God, I don't want to leave. Ever. I want to stay buried inside of Natasha for the rest of my life.

"Is something wrong?" she asks, because I haven't moved.

"No. You feel so fucking good, cocooning my cock like your pussy was made for me. I want to last, but if I move, I'm going to be coming."

"Move, Haring."

I look her in the eye, and I see what I'm feeling reflected in her eyes. I don't stop looking at her as I take her rough, and hard. I come fast, like I told her I would, and she thrust her hips up, helping me keep the aftershocks coming.

We're both panting hard as I free her hands, and we hold onto each other for a few minutes. I have to get up, and take care of the condom, but I make my way back to her as soon as possible, because I feel somewhat lost without her in my arms.

"Are you okay?" I ask, as I curl myself around her, kissing her wrists.

"My wrists don't hurt."

"That's a pretty specific answer. Do you hurt somewhere else? Did I hurt you?"

I'm a little panicked now, because the thought of hurting her about kills me. I can't hurt her. I just can't.

"No, I liked it."

Liked, not loved. "You didn't come."

"I didn't, no. But you made me come with your mouth, so don't think you left me wanting."

She doesn't want me? It wasn't good? My battered ego is trying to wrap my head around these thoughts, and figure out a way to do better. Shit. How the fuck do I do better? I've never had complaints about my fucking before. Not once.

Natasha is kissing me, before I even realize she's moved. Her mouth is moving over mine, sliding softly. I'm still not sure what's going on, so I don't kiss her back. Not when her tongue licks at the seam of my lips, or when her teeth nip. I stay still as a statue, until she pulls back, and I see the hurt in her eyes.

"I should get dressed."

"No, stay," I implore her, cupping her face in my hands. "Please stay."

"You say the words, but you're not acting like you want me to stay."

"My ego's feeling a little bruised, and it's making me behave like an ass, but I want you here."

"What? Is it because I didn't come? I'll never come when I'm restrained, but that's on me, not you."

"Something happened to you." I don't ask, because I can see it in her eyes.

"Yes."

"What happened to you? Who do I need to kill?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but you're not going to kill anyone. Just be with me. I promise you make it better."

"I wouldn't have done that if you'd said no. I just thought you were nervous."

"I let you do it, because I know you wanted it. You can do it whenever you want, as long as you ask me first."

"I'll always ask."

"Then we're good. Now, kiss me, please."

I do as she asks, taking her mouth the way I took her body, hard and rough. I'm devouring her like my life depends on it, and she's right there with me. Her hands are pulling my hair, and she's rubbing over my cock, which is coming back to life against her. Round two is going to start soon, and I can't fucking wait.

No restraints this time, and I'm looking forward to Natasha losing her mental restraints as well. I want her wild, like she was with my mouth on her. As I roll another condom on, and she climbs onto me, I know this time is going to be even better than the first. I also know it's not going to be the last.

I don't know what I did to deserve this woman, but I'm going to hold onto her for as long as she lets me. Forever doesn't seem too long right now, and if that's not enough to scare me, nothing will. Nothing, and no one. Not even _them_.

# 6

Natasha

I wake up, sore and satisfied. Haring is wrapped around me, his bearded chin resting on my breast. I look down at him, and as I replay all the different ways he took me last night, I know what I want to do right now. What I want _him_ to do.

Sliding down his body, I let my mouth and tongue play over his muscles, and chest hair. He moves onto his back, and runs one hand lazily through my hair as I continue my descent.

"Blow jobs in the morning are much appreciated, Vixen."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I was hoping you'd fuck my tits right now."

"Damn, you are perfect. Completely, and totally perfect," he says, as he easily flips us, so I'm under him. I don't understand what he's doing, until he takes one lick across my pussy. "I'm going to eat you while I fuck you. Hold your tits for me."

I do as he asks, pressing his cock tight between the breasts he debauched yesterday. I'm lost in the sensation of him licking and sucking on me as he fucks me in a new way, but I manage to rouse myself enough from my bliss to help him along. I lick and suck his balls as he moves above me, causing him to moan, and bite me.

"You're coming first, dammit," he promises, but he's already moving erratically through my tits, telling me he's close.

I force all my thoughts to center on his mouth, and the fingers he's pumping in and out of me. My own mouth and hands are on auto-pilot as the sensations overwhelm me, and my orgasm rips through me. As soon as he feels me clamping around his fingers, he lets go, his cum covering my stomach as he yells my name against my clit.

I'm still dealing with the aftershocks of my own orgasm, and the feel of his mouth against me, calling for me, sends me over a second time. "Haring." It's all I can say, or think, as we both stop moving.

When he rolls off me, I reach down with hands still shaking from exertion, and ecstasy. Running my fingers through what he's left on me, and sucking them clean. Over, and over, as he looks at me with eyes that are lazy, and aroused.

"I need to clean you up."

"I'm cleaning myself up."

"You're driving me crazy right now, Natasha."

I stop, with just the tips of my fingers in my mouth. He's rarely called me by my name since this all started, and I don't like it. I want to be his "Vixen". Not Natasha, Nat, or Tasha, as others have called me, because I'm his and his alone now.

"Don't call me that."

His brow furrows, and he looks at me like I've lost my mind. He's probably right, but I can't help but feel what I feel.

"Isn't that your name?"

"Not for you. You call me your own name, and I like it."

"Vixen," he says, kissing the hollow of my throat. " _My_ Vixen."

"Yes."

"Do you want to go steady with me? I probably should've asked before I ruined you for all other men, but I was a little distracted."

Haring is so damn cute when he wants to be, and I can't help but give him a hard time. "I'd love to be your girlfriend, but I don't remember saying you ruined me."

"You didn't have to say it with your mouth, because your pussy told me."

Cheesy bastard. "I wasn't aware she talked."

"Your ears are too far away to hear her whispers, but she loves my cock, and wants it to be the only one inside her."

"I'll have to take your word for it."

"You will."

"I think we can come to some kind of exclusive agreement."

"I'm having murderous thoughts about any other man touching you, so name your terms."

"Hmm, let's see. Sex every day, unless it's that special week of the month. During those five to seven days, I'm happy to blow you, or let you fuck my tits, though."

"If you do, I'll be making it up to you every other day of the month."

"Not necessary, but I won't decline the offer. Also, I need a date here and there, so it's not just sex. The sex is spectacular, but a girl needs some romance too."

"Romance is a given. Dates are, too."

"Then you have yourself a deal."

"Thank the Lord. If you'd said no, I might've had to beg."

"Too proud to beg for me, Haring?"

"Never, Vixen. I just prefer not to, when I can."

"Don't beg unless you want to. I mean it. No matter what happens."

"Got it," he says with a laugh.

I pretend to smile back, but I'm dying inside. He's going to be begging for more than me soon, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'd stop it if I could, but there's no going back for me. All I can hope for is that he'll still be alive once this is all over. The chances of that are small, but there's a chance, and I'll do everything I can to see us both come out alive.

Haring

Natasha has all of a sudden gotten serious, and if I'm being honest, even a little freaked out. I don't know what happened, but I need to turn this back around. We're in a good place, and I'm not about to lose ground.

"Come on," I say, standing, and pulling her to her feet with me. "I really do need to clean you up, dirty girl."

"Well, when you put it that way, I could use some help washing my back."

"That reminds me of something I didn't finish last night. I was remiss, and I need to rectify that."

"Are you going to tell me what you're talking about?"

"I'd rather show you."

"Not going to complain about that. Ever."

"Good to know."

My shower is a walk-in affair, with the water coming down from the ceiling like we're in the rain. I've experienced a rain showerhead before, but this takes it to a whole other level, and I've never been so thankful for a design feature before. Natasha is completely charmed and delighted by it.

"Kiss me in the rain, Haring."

I do as she asks, before pulling back to smile at her. "I'll kiss you in the real rain one day."

"I'd like that."

"It's a plan. Now, turn around, and hold your hair, so I can worship all the places my lips haven't touched yet."

"You're trying to keep me in this apartment forever, aren't you?"

"I'm just trying to keep you."

She kisses me, before turning away from me, and holding up her hair like I told her to. I start at the nape of her neck, moving my mouth over it, as my tongue softly licks. I could suck a mark onto her here, but I know she's mine, so I just play as I move lower.

Her shoulders get soft kisses from side to side, while every bump of her spine becomes familiar with my tongue. I don't miss an inch of her back with my mouth. I can't—it would be a travesty. Her ass is a work of art, and I can help but taking a bite. She yelps, and swats at my head, but I just bat her hand away, and kiss it better.

I continue on to the place where ass meets thigh, and show the back of her legs my appreciation. Down one, and up the other, again not missing an inch. Natasha's body is curvier than most women are comfortable with, but she owns it, making her even sexier to me. I want to fuck her again, but I know I left her sore last night, so I'm just going to worship her this morning.

"Spectacular. Every single inch of you is spectacular."

"Thank you. If you'd let me play with your body, I would probably say the same thing to you."

"Probably?"

"You've barely let me touch and kiss you, so how can I be sure. Looks can be deceiving."

She's messing with me, but she's also right. I've stopped her almost every time she's started running her hands and mouth over me. I had to, because if I'd let her have her way with me, I'd have been coming in seconds. I realize now that I was being unfair to her, though. I can handle a little premature ejaculation embarrassment, if it means she gets to do what she wants.

"You can do anything you want to me, Vixen. Here, or back in bed. I'm all yours whenever you want."

"Just those two places?" she asks, turning to smirk at me.

"Such a smartass."

She shrugs. "Have to keep you on your toes."

"You do. Believe me, you have me completely off-balance, and trying to figure out what to do to impress you," I tell her as I turn off the shower, and grab a towel to wrap around her.

"You don't need to impress me," she says holding my face in her hands. "I'm already impressed."

"Not many people are," I admit, letting her see my biggest insecurity.

"Hush. Matt Corrigan gave you a huge job, because he knew you could do it."

"I know," I tell her, with a sigh. "It's just the whole D.C. thing brings me down."

"Maybe you need to go back, and face your fear."

I _do_ need to go back, but I can't. It's simply not an option, but I'm not quite ready for that much sharing yet.

"No. I'm good here. I'll work through it—with you by my side."

"Of course."

I help her dry off, then run a towel absently over my body. "How do you feel about bowling?"

"I'm not sure I have a strong opinion on it."

"Would you like to go toss around some balls with me?"

"Well, when you put it that way, how can I resist?"

"You can't. Seriously, though, I want to check out some of the lanes, and see what I might want to do for the Corrigan Fun Center."

"Cute name, and sure. I'd love to."

"The name isn't official, but I'm glad you like it. It might be a keeper now."

"Like me?"

"Definitely like you."

"I didn't say anything before, but I brought a dress, and panties, in my purse. Just in case."

"Really, but..."

"But, what?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing if you were going to say it."

Shit. I got myself into this, and I'm going to have to say it now. I might get slapped, but I have to speak.

"Your lingerie wasn't exactly something I'd normally see on a woman thinking she was going to get naked with a man."

"You just said it yourself, Haring—I was hoping to get _naked_ with you. I'm sorry what I had on wasn't acceptable."

"Obviously, I wasn't deterred. I don't care what you wear. Everything looks good on you, so I'm good with whatever you choose to put on."

She doesn't say anything else as she walks over to her purse to grab the dress, and panties. The ones she's putting on are completely made of lace, but offer her the same full coverage as the ones I took off her last night. I'm thinking I'm never going to see her in a thong, and I'm completely okay with that. Now, I need to make sure she knows it.

"Where is the bowling alley?"

"I was hoping we could try a few."

"Okay."

"Look at me," I demand, turning her. Her eyes are shiny, and I wish I could punch myself right now.

"You're so damn sexy. I don't care about what you're wearing under your clothes. I'm going to take it all off anyway."

"I could buy some new stuff, but I like being comfortable."

"Don't buy anything new. I can't wait to see every bra and panty you own. I promise you, they're going to turn me on. I was just surprised, because I'm used to women trying so hard to make me want them. You don't have to do anything, and I want you more than I've ever wanted another woman."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I'm sorry I made you feel bad. That was honestly not my intention."

"We're going to have to learn each other's insecurities, and make sure we protect them."

"I'll always protect you."

She hesitates, and I think she's going to cry again, but she smiles instead. "I'll do what I can to protect you too."

# 7

Natasha

I haven't bowled in years, and I can't say I ever thought about doing it again, but I'm having fun. A lot of fun. And yes, it has everything to do with the man I'm with.

"Yeah, baby," Haring yells as he bowls yet another strike. His score is more than double what mine is, but I'm still smiling.

Every woman—and some men—in this bowling alley is checking him out, but it's me he kisses after every turn. I'm the one who gets to rub my hand over his faded U2 t-shirt, and sometimes, even under it. He looks perfect, while I look just okay today, yet here he is.

"I should've borrowed your blow dryer," I sigh, as he pulls me onto his lap, and nuzzles my neck.

My hair is a riot of unruly curls, and it's not the best look. I'm not particularly vain, or obsessed with how I look, but I do like to know I'm at my best when I'm on a date. Today, I can't say that, because I'm a little bit of a mess.

"Who says I own one?"

"There is no way your hair looks so good most days without one."

"You don't think it looks good right now?"

Of course, it does, the bastard. It's sticking up in places, and flopping in others, but it's sexy as hell. I roll my eyes. "You know you're hot. Half this place is eye-fucking you right now."

"Only half? I must be losing my touch?"

"I'm not counting the kids."

"I hope not. Just so you know, your curls are making me crazy."

"Crazy, like 'I can't believe I'm in public with this woman and her wild hair'?"

"No. Crazy, like I want to wrap these curls around my hand, and pull your head back while I fuck you from behind. Right here, and now."

"The children," I remind him.

"They're the only reason I'm not doing it."

"Would you think less of me if I said I wouldn't stop you if it was only adults here?"

"Fuck no. Damn, I meant it when I said you're the perfect woman."

"No one's perfect, Haring." Especially not me.

"Whatever. Now, you've got me wishing I hadn't used the valet for my car. We could be making out in the garage once this game is finished."

"We can make out at the next place."

"Oh yeah. Go take your turn, Vixen, so we can get out of here."

We finish the game, our kisses in between turns getting hotter, and needier. I don't resist when he lifts me up, and carries me out. I wrap my legs around him, and suck on his neck while we make our way through the casino. We kiss while we wait for the car, and I know the edge of my panties are showing as he squeezes my ass, but I'm too far gone for this man to care.

We're forced apart by the arrival of the car, and I fight the urge to climb on top of him as he drives us to our next destination. It should be illegal for a man to be this sexy. Actually, it probably is in some states.

"How far is it?"

"A few miles. I would just stop somewhere, and put my mouth back on you, but this job is important to me."

"I'm not complaining. I mean, I am, but it's only because just being near you makes me so damn horny."

"You can't say things like that to me while I'm trying to drive."

"I'll talk about your job, then. I'm excited to see everything you're planning, and I love that you want me to go with you to check things out."

"Are you sure? Sometimes I think I'm not being romantic enough."

"Yes, and you are. Fun is underrated on dates."

"I'm going to wine and dine you, too, in case you were wondering."

"Good to know."

I behave, and keep my mouth shut until we pull into the parking garage at another casino. Haring parks us in a spot away from most of the other cars, and shuts off the engine. I have my seat belt off, and I'm climbing onto him as he's pushing his seat a little further back. He reaches down to recline it, but I stop him.

"I like it like this."

"Whatever you want."

I want it hot, sweaty, and out-of-control, and that's exactly what I get. We kiss, caress, bite, grope, and suck on each other. Everything, and anything two people can do while their clothes stay on. When the security guard knocks on the fogged-up car window, my dress is unzipped, but still on, exposing nothing. My hand is down Haring's unzipped jeans, while one of his has my hair twisted in it, like he said he wanted.

"We have rooms if you want to have sex, but you need to stop what you're doing in here."

I slide my hands from his jeans as subtly as possible, keeping him covered with the round skirt of my dress. Haring zips up my dress as he smiles at the guy on the bike.

"Sorry, man, we're going inside to bowl, and we'll behave."

"We'll be watching."

"Gotcha."

The guy waits while I climb off Haring, and pull the visor down to try and fix myself in the mirror. Haring zips up, and runs a hand through that damn hair of his, which still looks sexy. Once he's satisfied we're being "good", the security guy rides off on his bike, and we burst out laughing.

"That was not nearly as embarrassing as I ever thought something like that would be."

"How many guys in the security room do you think were getting off to you grinding on me?"

"Who cares?"

"Have you ever had sex with someone watching before?"

I turn my head away from him when I answer. "Yes."

"Ah, so it _is_ your kink."

"Not really," I tell him, twisting my curls into a bun, because there is no way to tame them at this point.

"I just want to know what you like." He sounds a little petulant, so I make myself look at him.

"I didn't like it before. With you today, I just don't care if anyone sees us, because I want you so much."

He smiles, and I know we're okay. Once he jumps out, and jogs around the car to open my door, I get a chaste kiss on the mouth. This time, we hold hands like kids, eat greasy bowling alley food, and kiss each other sweetly. It's different, but just as powerful, telling me what I already knew—I'm falling in love with Haring Kingston.

Haring

Natasha and I played indoor miniature golf last night, and I wasn't in love with it. I get the weather thing here in Vegas, but after playing outside on fun and cheesy courses my whole life, I'm underwhelmed by playing in the dark. I've got ideas, but I'm not sure I can work them out.

"You look pensive," Matt says, standing in my doorway with a raised eyebrow.

"Just working out a problem."

"Need a sounding board?"

"Actually, yes."

He takes a seat in one of the chairs across from me. "Go ahead, and tell me what's got you thinking so hard."

"I know it's too hot for outdoor mini golf, but I want to recreate the outdoor experience, indoors. I was thinking of ringing the lobby and check-in desk area with a course. We'd have windows along the outside, and nets all around. There would be little hills, windmills, and all the other wonderfully cheesy stuff you'd find outside."

"Where's the problem? It sounds great."

"I just didn't know if we could do it."

"We can do it. We can pretty much do anything you can think of. Tell me what else you're thinking of."

I outline my plans for the go-karts outside, the ice rink on a level below the lobby, the bowling alleys—one for families, and a sexier one, for adults only—and everything else I've been thinking of. I let him know I've contacted Gavin about having his students run the snack area, and what he thinks we should have on the menu.

"Perfect. This is all amazing. Ryan said he assigned Noah to help you."

"Yep. He'll be here any minute now to go over the initial plans, based on what I talked to him about last week."

"Great. Everyone will be moved out of here in the next couple of days, and into the new building. We'll demo this one on Monday, and start the re-build once everything's cleared out."

I shake my head. "I'm not used to all of this. Getting things done in days. It doesn't seem real."

"I may sound cavalier about things, but even though I've grown up around all this wealth and power, sometimes I can't believe what I can do, either. I just try to do as much good as I can, and enjoy the perks I have, because I know I've worked for them."

"The money isn't your happiness."

"Not a penny. As long as I have Reina, and my boy, I'd be happy in a shack somewhere. Honestly, there are days I wish we _were_ off somewhere alone in a shack."

"The world needs you—and her—too much," I say, guessing at why they don't just turn things over to other people, and disappear.

"Yes. I'm not complaining, but yes, we've given ourselves to the world, and it will be a long time before we can step back from that."

Before he can say anything else, there's a knock on my doorframe, and I look up to see Noah standing there, with a blueprint tube slung over one arm.

"Hey, am I interrupting?"

"Nope. Just checking in. I look forward to hearing about what you've got from us once Haring approves it."

"Thanks," I tell Matt, because having him give me total control over this makes it easier to get past what I foolishly lost. I shouldn't need that, but I'm becoming self-aware enough to admit to myself that I do.

"You deserve this, Haring. Don't ever think you don't, because while I want to give everyone I can a chance, I'm still a businessman at the end of the day. That means I don't just give blanket trust to people, unless I know they're going to do the job right."

"I appreciate your faith in me."

Noah and I both watch him walk out, because it's almost impossible not to. "You ready to knock this out?" Noah asks, once he's out of sight.

"Let's do this."

Hours later, we've got everything nailed down. After designing a big part of the new C&C building, Noah already knows nothing is impossible, and doesn't blink an eye at the craziest of my ideas.

"I'll have the new plans for you by Monday. If you approve them, I'll get the permits sorted, and we'll start building."

"Sounds great. Thanks, Noah."

"You're welcome."

I look around my office when he leaves, making sure I didn't miss packing anything up. I haven't been here long, and I knew we were moving, so I didn't bring much in here. My one box will be retrieved by the movers tonight, while the security team watches over them. Tomorrow, I'll unpack it in my new office, and start to make that place my own.

Right now, I want to see my woman. We've had a whirlwind week of dates, sex, and fun. She's working tonight at the bar, and there's no place I'd rather be than where she is, so I make my way there.

I don't see her when I walk in, but I'm not worried—she's probably helping in the back. When a half-hour passes, and there's still no sign of her, I walk to the other side of the bar. The older guy on this side is the one who refused to serve me the night things started for us, and he seems to be her second-in-command.

"Hey."

He looks bored as he meets my eyes. "What can I get you?"

"I'm looking for Natasha."

"Some guys came in, and she left with them."

"What? Who was it?"

"No clue. All I know is they mentioned Washington, D.C. They looked like the kind of guys you wouldn't want to mess with, if you get my drift."

I have to grip the bar, so I don't fall over. I get it. I more than get it. My past just reared its ugly head, and came for Natasha. I have to go back to the place I can't safely go back to, in order to save her. There's no other option. I love her, and I'll die for her if I have to.

# 8

Natasha

"Welcome home," Satan says to me.

It's not his real name, but it's how I've always thought of him. He's nothing less than the Devil himself, living out his life on Earth. Terrorizing everyone who dares cross his path. He takes lives like they mean nothing to him, because they don't. All that matters to him are power, wealth, and terror. I've lived in his world for too long, holding onto my humanity as best I can. Now, it's all going to be over soon, and I can wipe the filth from my body, if not my soul.

"What happens now?"

"Lover boy is going to come looking for you."

"And if he doesn't?"

"He will. He was at the bar, and I'm told he looked like he was going to pass out when he heard you were on your way here, with some 'bad men'."

He laughs, and it takes everything I have to force the smile onto my face. I have to smile when I want to throw up. I have to play this game, so he doesn't shoot me dead, like the nothing I am to him when he isn't looking for some entertainment. I won't die before trying to save Haring.

I can't let him know this is more than a job for me. If he knows I fell in love with Haring, there would be no chance of either of us leaving this basement alive. As it is, I'm pretty sure the moment Haring enters this room will seal my fate, but I'm not giving up hope just yet. I can't. Haring has come to mean everything to me, and I won't lose hope for either of our sakes.

"Good. This will all be over soon."

"You didn't enjoy your time with him? My sources say otherwise."

"It wasn't unpleasant."

"You're going to be rewarded for your part in all of this."

Yeah, with a bullet to the head. "Thank you."

"You can relax in your room until he arrives."

"I'll stay here; it's better if I look tired, and hungry when Haring sees me."

"Very well. You are sometimes smarter than I choose to believe. Maybe I'll even let you have a little more power when this is all over."

"Thank you."

He leaves, and I breathe the first full breath I've taken since the moment I was ordered to leave Vegas. I didn't stay down here to look pitiful, but to scope things out. There are cameras on me, so I can't be obvious, but knowing what I'm working with might save us.

I stretch my arms as I pass the small table in the middle of the room. I bump it "accidentally" and realize it's too sturdy to be of any help. The chairs won't come apart easily, either, so they're out. The room is all brick and concrete, which means no busting out that way. In the dark recesses, there are weapons cabinets made of steel, but they're locked. If one was open, I could try for a gun, but I doubt I'll get that lucky.

There are windows, but they are high, and have bars over them. Basically, the only way out is up the stairs, and without a miracle, there's no way we'll make it out that way. I'm hoping for a miracle, but planning for a suicide mission. Mine.

I will not let Haring get killed while there is still a breath in me. I will fight and die if it means he has a chance of getting out of here. I had a choice in all of this, but he didn't. Even with that damn loan, and the power thrown around to help him, he doesn't deserve this. He appreciates what he's been given, and he wants to work hard to earn it. I know that now. I've seen the kind of man he is, and I love that man.

I've seen many people die in this room—and others—who didn't deserve it, but my hands were tied. They still should be right now, but I will not allow things to go down the way they're supposed to. I couldn't go on living if I did, because his life is my life too. It sounds dramatic, and like some Lifetime movie, but it's my truth.

I've lied, cheated, and yes, slept my way to where I am right now, but I don't regret it. I can't regret it, because that regret would cripple me, and I have to be the strongest I've ever been right now. I've earned myself a place of trust, and a tiny bit of power. Everything I did was to keep myself alive, but that doesn't matter now. It was all for nothing if I can't save the man I was sent to help kill. I never imagined he would be more than the man I saw on paper, that he would completely captivate me, and _own_ me in just a couple weeks' time, but he has.

Satan warned me he was charming, but my love for him has nothing to do with his cocky attitude. I find him amusing when his ego comes out to play, but it's the quiet moments, when he's holding my hand, or feeding me Chow Mein noodles that made me fall for him. His love for his sister, and the care he shows me strengthened my feelings for him. It's in his work, and his compassion for every person he crosses paths with. That's the Haring Kingston I know and love. I'll love him until my dying day—which I'm pretty sure will be today. If I can die knowing I saved him, all of this will finally be worth it.

"He's here," one of the men yells down to me.

Those words instill a chill in me, and a resolve. It's time for me to be the best actress I've ever been. I'm shaking inside, but I force myself to walk confidently to the table, and sit down. I can do this. I have to do this. I _will_ do this. For him, and maybe, for me too.

Haring

I was grabbed as soon as I got off the train in Union Station. I expected it, and I didn't fight it, because I'll do anything to keep Natasha alive. I don't have any illusions that she's safe right now, so all I can hope for is that she's still alive.

We pull up to a house I've driven by, but never been inside. All of my dealings with these people have been in my rink—their rink now. I was never invited here, and I never asked if I could have a look. When dealing with mobsters, the less you ask for, the better.

I want to run inside now, but with guys surrounding me, that's not possible. Luckily, they're walking briskly, and we're inside within seconds. He's waiting for us. The man who I sold my soul to, before my sister and friends took it back for me. Now, he's got the woman I love, and I'd kill him right here on the spot if I had to.

"So good to see you again, Haring."

"Where is she?"

"You were warned what would happen if you set foot on this soil again."

"Where. Is. She?"

"The beautiful Natasha is downstairs, waiting for us."

He motions to the open door to his right, and I don't hesitate. I jog down those stairs, and there she is. Natasha is sitting at a table, looking tired, but safe.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine."

The man I hate above all others speaks from behind me. "Of course, you are. Why would I hurt one of my best employees?"

No. "What?"

"She works for me, and she did a wonderful job. After all, you're here."

"What is he talking about?"

"I'm sorry, Haring. There was nothing else I could do. I had to do my job."

She says those words in a monotone voice. Her eyes are blank, and her words stab through me like a knife. Natasha never cared, and she's been setting me up since the beginning. I fell for the wrong woman, and now I'm going to die. In this moment, I _want_ to die. No, that's not true. I want to forget I ever met her, but I want to live. As painful as it is, I would never choose death.

"Don't feel bad, young man. She is very good what she does, in and out of bed."

He says this while caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. She keeps her eyes on me, and I see a flicker of regret before the blankness returns. She looks like a shell of herself, and I want to run to her, and take her into my arms. Even after everything I'm finding out, and knowing she betrayed me, I want to comfort her.

"Why? Why are you doing this? You got your money, and my rink."

"You were to be an example to others I borrowed money to, but your friends were too powerful to let that happen."

"You think they'll let it happen now?"

"No one is here to save you. By the time they realize what happened, it will be too late. Your body needs to hang outside the precious roller rink you love so much."

"Killing me will only bring their wrath to your doorstep."

"Perhaps, but I'll take my chances."

"Good luck with that."

"Cocky until the very end."

"Wouldn't be me, if I wasn't."

I see the gun raise, and catch me in its sight. I see the hand slide the safety back, and I watch the finger flex against the trigger. I'm frozen, knowing there's nowhere for me to go. This is the end. Until it isn't.

"Run, Haring!" Natasha yells, as she slams into the man she works for, causing the bullet to hit the ceiling. "Run, dammit!"

I hear more shots, and grunts as I finally move. Before I can make it to the stairs, the door opens, and Reina's there, followed by my sister and some of her friends. Their guns are blazing, and I duck under the stairs until the bullets stop. It's only then that I turn around.

Natasha is the only one standing, and her hands are up in surrender. I don't know if they are going to shoot her, but no matter what, in the end she tried to save me. They need to know that.

"No! Don't shoot her! She's Military Intelligence," Jake says, speaking before I can. He's shielding her with his body, although she's not cowering behind him.

"What? You know her?" his wife, Isa, asks.

"Yes. We used to work together."

"Neither of you felt we needed to know this?" Reina asks, moving to stand in front of them.

"I wasn't going to blow her cover, and get her killed."

"But my brother was expendable?" Matisse asks, coming to my side.

Natasha shakes her head. "I knew you'd come for him, and if you didn't, I was prepared to die to save him."

"She tried to get me out," I tell them, and then it comes to me. "At the barbeque, you were both tapping your legs as you sat next to each other. Was it Morse Code?"

"No, it was _our_ code. Morse could be picked up by anyone, so we developed our own for each other years ago," Jake tells me.

"You were one of his women, weren't you? You got a 'Jake necklace'." Isa states it, but we all know it's a question. One I'd like to hear the answer to, even though I shouldn't care.

"I turned down the necklace, but yes, we were once intimate. It was a long time ago, and we realized very quickly that we were better off as friends."

"It's okay. I mean, I know he wasn't a virgin when we met, but I wanted a frame of reference for all of this."

"I would've kept her secret, regardless," Jake states, and I can tell he means it from the fierce look in his eyes.

"Thanks, Jake, and thanks for getting them here."

"We came for my brother, not you."

"I am well aware of that, Matisse. It's what I planned on."

A staring contest begins between the two women I love. Yeah, I still love Natasha, because love isn't something you can just turn off. I'll never trust her, or believe what we shared is real, but my heart still beats for her, and only her.

"My mother will be here momentarily," Jake tells us.

Natasha looks to the ceiling. "We'll have to be de-briefed; my boss will insist on it."

"Liz?"

"No, Reina, I don't report to her. My boss is her second-in-command, James Kanta."

I see a look of pity cross Reina's face, before she responds. "Oh."

There's so much in that one word. So much I want to know, and so much I shouldn't care about. Natasha just gives her a grim smile in return, before turning to hug Jake. He hugs her back, and I feel a stab of jealousy. Isa and Jake are insanely happy together, but he had my woman before I did. I don't care how long ago it was, or how short-lived their affair was; it happened, and I hate it. I hate him a little, even though we've become friends. If I thought my life was fucked up before, it's nothing compared to what I'm going through now. Un-lucky me, yet again.

# 9

Natasha

"You're lucky Jake Mason saved you," James tells me, looking like the smug bastard he is.

"I'm not sure what you think I could've done differently."

"You put everything at risk for Haring Kingston."

"I never once jeopardized my mission. I was sent in to take down Satan, and I did. Even if I'd died in that damn basement, I had enough for you to take him down."

"Possibly."

"Don't try and bullshit me."

"Excuse me? Last time I checked, I was still your superior."

This asshat is not superior to me in any way. He sucked a lot of ass on his way to where he is now, and if you sniff him hard enough, you can smell the shit that's still stuck to his nose. Bastard.

"What do you want from me?"

"Is there anything left in there for us? Six years of living the life of a mobster. You had to become one of them to survive."

"I was never one of them."

"No? You didn't kill alongside them? Break bones, and steal by their sides?"

"I did what you ordered me to do, and you know it."

"There's a fine line, and I'm not sure you didn't cross it on your own."

"I'm not going down without a fight," I warn him.

"No one is talking about taking you down, Natasha. I do believe a vacation is in order, though. Go lie on a beach somewhere, and allow yourself to relax."

"No thank you."

"It wasn't a request."

"I'll take your vacation if I have to, but I'm going back to Las Vegas."

"Are you sure that's a wise idea?"

No. "It's really not your problem, is it? I'll be on vacation."

"Two weeks, and then we'll evaluate where you are."

"Aye, aye, Boss."

He lets me go, and I'm not surprised to see Haring in the hallway when I walk out. "Is there somewhere we can talk, Natasha?"

"Yes."

I lead him down to my own office. I haven't seen it in a very long time, but it looks just as I left it, only with more piles of paperwork added to the mix. I know a staff assistant has gone through it all, and taken care of anything time-sensitive, but it's still weird to see so much work waiting for me.

Most are cold cases, because that was my specialty before it was believed I could go out into the field, and take down a mob family. There were many days I wished someone else was picked, but now I know I wouldn't trade it for anything, because I wouldn't have met Haring. No matter what happens, nothing can take away the memories we shared.

"What was a lie?" he asks, once the door is closed. I turn off the sound in here, not caring if we're seen, but wanting a little slice of privacy for our words.

"My job, and how we met."

"What else?"

"Nothing. What happened between us—what we shared—was real, and true."

"Bullshit."

It's not, but I understand his anger, and let it go. He wants to lash out, and I'll let him. To a point. I'm not about to become anyone's punching bag.

"What else do you want to know?"

"You slept with him."

"That's not a question, but yes."

"More than just him?"

"Yes. I had to survive."

"Surviving, and being a mob whore are two different things."

"Get out."

"Hit a sore spot, huh?"

"Get. Out."

"If this was real for you, you wouldn't be asking me to leave!"

"No. If this was real for _you_ , you wouldn't be calling me a whore. You'd be asking me what happened, or being supportive because you knew I had to endure certain things to survive."

"Don't turn this shit on me."

"How many women did I watch you leave the bar with before we got together? How many women did you sleep with before Vegas?"

"It's not the same thing."

"No, it's not. I was fighting for my life, while you were just getting your rocks off."

"Classy talk right there."

"Just leave, Haring. There is nothing left for either of us to say. You thought I was different, and I thought you were different. Now, we both know we were wrong."

"I was never anyone else. I never had an agenda. So again, this right here in not on me."

I don't argue with him, because it wouldn't make a difference. He may not have had an agenda, but the man I fell in love with wouldn't use that word to describe someone he cared about—or even someone he didn't. I can forgive a lot, but I can't forgive that.

I was willing to give up my life for him today. No matter what lies I told him, I protected him in that basement. I'm not going to say I'm glad I didn't, because he never deserved to die. But, I don't deserve to be labeled as something shameful just because my past doesn't meet his standards. What he said to me doesn't meet mine.

It's over. So much is finally over, and while I don't know what's going to happen next, I know freedom is within my grasp, and I'm going to hold onto it with both hands. I earned this, and I'm going to take what I deserve, and not look back. Broken hearts heal eventually, right?

Haring

"What did she say?" Matisse asks, when I walk back into the conference room Jake's mother let us converge in.

"Nothing I wanted to hear."

"You're not being cryptic at all."

"I don't want to talk about it. We're done, I'm apparently safe now, and I just want to get back to Vegas."

"Did you give her a chance to explain what she was doing? What she did?" Jake demands.

"I asked her a couple questions, and she answered them."

"That's not the same thing."

"It's none of your business, Jake, unless you're interested in being more than her friend. You cool with that, Isa?"

"Haring!" Matisse uses my real name, letting me know she's upset with me, but I just don't care.

"Leave it. Please. Just let me go back to Vegas, and get my life together. Again."

"You called it 'Vegas' and not 'home'. Are you planning to leave, and come back here?"

"No. I'm staying there. This city is my past."

She lets it go, and I'm thankful for that. I didn't call Vegas home, because my home is in the office I just walked out of. The woman I just insulted, out of jealousy and hurt, is my home. I'll never get over her, but I can focus everything I have on work, and hope it's enough. Enough to numb the pain that's encompassing all of me right now.

No one talks to me on the ride to the airport, or on the Corrigan jet that takes us back across the country. They talk to each other, and play some board games, but give me a wide berth. That's not hard on this spacious jet, which makes me thankful once again for Matt Corrigan.

I eat, and I sleep. That's all I know how to do since I didn't bring anything to work on. I could use an onboard computer, but this is the last break I'm giving myself. Tomorrow, it's all work, all the time.

Matisse shakes me awake when we land, and I can see in her eyes that she's done letting me sulk. "We're riding alone in my car."

"Is that you asking?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

"I'm not happy with Natasha, but from what I understand, she was ultimately willing to sacrifice herself for you. Against direct orders."

"It doesn't change what she did. She could've told me once we became...whatever it was we were."

"No, she couldn't."

"Don't be on her side; it's not a good look."

"This isn't about sides, because you know I'm always on yours. I just want you to realize that her life isn't so much different from mine. The longest I've ever had to be on a mission is a week, and Reina wouldn't send anyone in for years, but the secrets have to be kept. Even with the Doc being part of the Society, I can't tell him everything."

"You never pretended to be in love with him."

"Is that what she told you? That it was pretend for her? Because she wouldn't be trying to save you if it was fake."

"She said it was real, but how can I believe anything she says? She slept with those men, worked alongside them, killed with them, slept with them." Yeah, I said it more than once, because it's like a knife in my heart.

"The world isn't black and white. If I wasn't in a relationship, and the situation came up, who's to say I wouldn't sleep with someone I was trying to take down?"

"You wouldn't."

"I would. I'm sorry if it disappoints you, but I would. And don't you dare try to judge me—or her—because sleeping with some random woman in a bar is no better, or worse. It's life, and the choices we sometimes have to make. We've all made both good and bad ones. None of us has the right to be judge and jury for each other."

"We'll just have to disagree."

She shakes her head as we pull into the garage below our apartments. "I love you. You know I love you, and appreciate all you've done for me. But, I can't accept this from you. Mom and Dad didn't raise us to be like the person you're telling me you are."

"Mom wouldn't have lied to Dad."

"If she was a spy, trying to save the world, yeah, she would've."

"Saving the world, one bed at a time. Maybe Reina can use that on promotional materials."

The slap across my face is deserved, but unexpected. "Grow up, Haring, and start acting like a man, and not a little boy who finds out his favorite toy has been played with before he had it. This self-righteous bullshit doesn't look so hot on you right now."

"Maybe I just needed some comfort, and love from my sister, instead of a take-down of my character."

"If you were being a grown-up, you'd realize I was giving you _tough_ love, because that's what you need."

"Stop saying I'm a kid, Matisse, because you're pissing me off."

"Good. It means you're feeling something. I just want to know you're not a robot, who has no feelings."

"I'm feeling too much! I need to stop feeling, because it hurts so fucking much to feel!"

She wraps her arms around me, holding me as I shake. "I love you, Degas."

"I love you too, Claudel. So much."

I lose track of time as I take comfort from my sister. I know she's right, and I needed that tough love, but I was right, too. I need comfort, and normalcy, and just to know there's someone who's always going to be there for me. Matisse will always love me, no matter what happens in either of our lives.

We've let others in, but it's still us against the world sometimes, and I think it always will be. We lived through tragedy, and while that's not exclusive to us, our specific heartache belongs to us. It bonds us almost more than our blood does.

I was stupid to think another woman in this world would love me unconditionally. My life has always been full of conditions, and I've steeled myself for the reality of it always being this way. Now, I just have to focus on the things I can control—work, life choices, and friends. Nothing else is ever going to matter to me again, especially not a woman.

# 10

Natasha

After years of putting on an act, and being who I needed to be, I can finally be myself. The problem is, I no longer know who that is. Am I the woman I was when I first entered the military? The one who wore jeans, and band t-shirts with Vans on her feet? Or am I the femme fatale who's cultivated the vintage seductress look for years now? Maybe I'm the woman in-between, who wore her uniform like a shield, hiding her curves because she wanted to be taken seriously. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm all of them. Or none of them.

I have plenty of time to contemplate all of this, since I have nothing to do. The bar is closed, and all of the men and women who worked there have been taken into custody. I never cultivated any friendships outside of my work, and although Jake left a message with an open invitation for dinner, I'm not ready to take him and Isa up on it yet.

So, yeah, I've spent the last week just lying around, and watching Bravo. I haven't decided which set of Housewives is my favorite, and I want to slap most of them most of the time, but I can't seem to change the channel. I wouldn't say they're a train wreck—more like just a wreck, and honestly, they kind of fascinate me. Who lives like that? I guess I could, since I have a lot of money saved, but I don't need a mansion. I might buy a cool car, and a bigger TV, but that's the extent of luxury for me.

Speaking of purchases, I have something I need to buy. That means putting on actual clothes, and leaving the house. I could have it delivered, the same way I've done with my groceries, but becoming a hermit is not what I'm aiming for. I wasn't ashamed when Haring called me what he did, because I know it's not true. Hiding out makes it seem like I did something wrong, and while I can admit that I did, I'm not a bad person, and I refuse to live like one.

Since I couldn't get my old clothes when I was in D.C., I have to settle for the temptress look, although I tone it down by keeping my natural curls, and not putting make-up on. Once I'm at the mall, I decide I should just buy some new clothes too, while I'm already here.

My real credit card is finally seeing the light of day after many years of lying dormant, and I leave with much more than I expected. Jeans, t-shirts, Vans, sexy dresses, designer heels, purses, fun jewelry, and even some new lingerie. There's also a bag with my new gaming system, and games, which is what I came for. I haven't gamed in years, but I need to shoot some things right now, and nothing beats Call of Duty. Well, putting a bullet in someone you despise is better, but that's not currently an option.

Arriving back at my loft, I find Jake leaning against my door. "Surprise."

"What are you doing here?"

"You haven't taken my wife and I up on our dinner offer. I came by to make sure you weren't sitting around in your pajamas, eating ice cream, and shooting things on your TV."

"If you'd come by a few hours ago, you would've nailed the PJs. I ran out of ice cream last night, and I just bought the gaming system," I tell him, holding up the bag.

"You had to know he'd be hurt," he says, grabbing most of the bags from my hands as I open the door, and motion him inside.

"Yes, I knew."

"Yet you're giving up."

"There's nothing to fight for, which would make fighting a pathetic option."

"There's always something to fight for when it comes to love."

"Not everyone is like you and Isa. Or any of the other grand romance tales from C&C."

"No, not everyone is, but you and Haring are. I saw the way you looked at him, both at the barbeque and in that basement. More importantly, I saw the way he looked at you."

"It doesn't matter. Whatever you saw, it doesn't matter anymore. Just leave it alone, please."

"Nat."

"Please, Jake."

"Come to dinner at least."

"Let me guess, you invited Haring too, and we'll accidentally bump into each other."

"The two of you belong together."

"Come by for dinner tomorrow. Just you and Isa."

"Dammit, why are you so stubborn?"

"Because I have to be. I need to protect myself, and shoot some online baddies."

"We'll be here tomorrow, and I'll try to log on later tonight to help you remember what you're doing."

I swat at his arm, as we both laugh. "See you then."

"I love you, you know that."

"I love you too. Go home to your wife, and your other dinner guest. Have fun, and try not to worry about me."

"Not going to happen. _Never_ going to happen."

"Same."

We hug, and he goes on his way. To dinner with Haring. The man my pride refuses to even allow me to consider. Yeah, I wallowed, but now I'm moving on. I have no choice but to move on. Not if I want to survive, and I didn't come this far to fall apart.

Haring

Isa's trying to make small talk with me, but I can tell it's not her thing. She's a nice woman, but she'd rather be anywhere but here. There are worse places I could be, so this isn't bad, but I take pity on her.

"I should probably leave."

"Jake should be here any minute."

"Is he alone?"

"Yes."

"She wouldn't come with him?"

"No," she admits, blushing a little. I knew this was a set-up, but I came anyway. I'm not going to try and analyze the reasons why.

"Good. I like you, Isa, and I like Jake, but you need to leave this alone. Natasha and I are over."

"He wants her to be happy."

"And that doesn't bother you? It doesn't make you jealous, knowing they slept together?"

"No, and no. What Jake did before we met isn't relevant to our life. My husband worships me, and I, him."

"Lucky you."

"I _am_ lucky."

"We're both lucky," Jake says.

I turn, and see the murderous intent on his face. I didn't hear him come in, so I don't know how much he heard. Nothing I said was good, so I deserve whatever he's about to unleash on me.

"I didn't mean to insult you, or what you have."

"Yet you did."

"You tried to manufacture a meeting between two people who don't want to ever see each other again."

"Bullshit."

"You think she wants to see me?"

"I think _you_ want to see _her_. And yes, I believe she wants to see you, even if she denies it."

"Too much happened between us."

"You went through a lot, but nowhere near what Isa and I did. We made it through everything—and everyone—that was against us, and now we're going to be together forever."

"Yes, we are," Isa says, wrapping her arms around him.

His face immediately softens, and his arms engulf her. He was close to pummeling me, but now he's holding his wife in his arms, and his expression is full of love. Only love. I want that. I had it, but it's gone now, and I want it back. Just not with Natasha. And yes, I'm lying to myself yet again.

"I appreciate you thinking you could help, but you can't."

"Why? Why are the two of you so fucking stubborn? I know you love each other."

"Love just isn't enough in this situation."

"Love is always enough. It just depends on how willing you are to fight for it."

"Right now, I'm not so willing."

"And neither is she."

Those words shouldn't send a knife through my heart, but they do. I don't want to want her. I don't want to love her. I don't want her to love me. All the lies I keep telling myself, and everyone else.

"Thanks again for the invite, but I'm going to go back to my place now."

"Take some food with you, at least," Isa says.

"That, I will do." I'm never going to turn down a home-cooked meal.

While she packs up some containers for me, Jake starts his own small talk attempt. "Are you going to play tonight?"

"Call of Duty? Maybe."

"Cool. I'll look for you."

I thank Isa for the food, and make my escape. Once I'm back in my apartment, I look around, mentally cataloguing all the changes I need to make. Need, not want. Natasha and I spent too much time here, and when I look around, all I can see is her. The different surfaces I made love to her on, the way she wrapped her arms around me while I made her omelets in the mornings. The coffee maker, because she couldn't function without at least two cups of coffee. All of it is too much.

Because I love her. I love Natasha, and I don't think I'll ever stop. I don't have it in me to fight for her right now, but one day I might. I went too far, and I'll have to own that with her, but I can see myself groveling. Again, not right now, but I'm not going to say it's not happening ever, because I can no longer imagine a world where I won't love her.

For now, I eat my food, and decide to go online, and shoot some imaginary enemies. Jake is online, like he said he'd be, but he's playing with someone new. I don't recognize the name, but I ask to join them. It's always more fun to play together.

The new player is good, and we continue to play long into the night, and early morning. Even after Jake logs off, we're playing together. 1BadGuyAtATime and I make plans to play again tomorrow, giving me something to look forward to for the first time in a week. We trash talked each other, encouraged each other, and just had fun. It's about time I made some new friends who aren't connected to Matisse, or Natasha.

Logging off when I'm so exhausted I can barely see, I lie down right there on the couch. Sleep has been elusive since I came back from D.C., but tonight it's coming at me like a freight train. I close my eyes, and let it crash into me, sending me to dreams of a Vixen.

# 11

Haring

We're breaking ground today on my building. I'm calling it mine, because it is. I chose everything about it, and everything that's going in it. Matt trusts me, and I trust myself. This is what I was meant to do, combining business with my love of fun.

"Now the fun begins," Noah tells me, once Matt cuts the ribbon.

"I can't wait to see it all come to life."

"It won't take us long since Matt has crews working all hours of the day and night."

"I appreciate everything you've done, including convincing me we had to put the water park on the main floor, and the mini-golf on the second."

"It was common architectural sense, but I didn't want to kill your dreams."

"My dreams are long dead, but I'm extremely happy with all we're going to do here."

"While I'm happy that I'm not the dream killer in this scenario, I'm sorry you've given up on yours."

"I didn't give up, I just walked away."

"From a woman, I'm guessing?"

"Yes. A woman who lied to me."

"Sometimes they do that, and sometimes we lie to them."

"You make it sound like some everyday occurrence; like it's nothing."

"No. Not every day. Not even every month, thank God. But, it happens."

"It shouldn't."

"Maybe not, but it's how we react to what's thrown at us that defines us. We can choose to hold onto it, and hurt, or we can move past it, and be happier than we've ever been in our life."

"I'm glad it worked out for you, but it's not going to work for me."

"You won't know until you try. Just sayin'."

"I appreciate your advice, I really do."

"But, you're not going to follow it, are you?"

"There are just some things you can't get past."

Like, me calling her a whore. Yeah, I know what I did. I also know I had a right to be angry at her, but that word should've never left my mouth. Ignorance probably _is_ bliss, because knowing what I said makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it—and I think about it a lot. I'm not taking all the blame for that happened, because she lied to me, and almost got me killed, but the blame isn't all hers.

"Can't wait to see what you're going to create, Van Gogh," my sister says, putting her arms around me from behind.

"It's going to be completely epic, Kahlo. When you have an unlimited budget, and resources, the things you can actually do are mind-blowing."

"Doing it alone must suck, though."

"You're standing right next to me, and I'm surrounded by people waiting to congratulate me."

"I'll leave you to your admirers shortly, but you know what I mean."

"Yes, and we've already had this conversation. Don't become repetitive, and boring on me, kiddo."

"The day I become boring, is the day the Doc will have a heart attack. I like him alive, so there's no chance of that. I'll leave you alone for now, but I'm not giving up on this."

"You should."

"If I hadn't seen how happy you were with Natasha, or how much you loved each other, maybe I could. But I did see it, and that's why I'm fighting you so hard on this."

"Love isn't everything."

"Yeah, big brother, it is."

"Without trust?"

"Trust is necessary, but it can be earned back when it's lost. Trust me on that."

"Nice play on words there."

"It's a talent."

I watch her walk away, and smile at the people who surround me. I thank them when they congratulate me, smile for every picture I'm asked to take, and put on the act of a lifetime. It doesn't stop my thoughts, though.

Thoughts of what my sister went through with Kendrick, and how they came out happier than ever. More in love than ever. He earned her trust back, and I don't doubt he'll keep it. He wouldn't jeopardize what they have, and maybe Natasha feels the same way. Or, she did before I said that damn word.

The smile on my face gets harder to keep there as I realize the old adage about words not hurting couldn't be more wrong. Words are powerful, and sometimes, really ugly. Actions often speak louder than words, but words create obstacles that are sometimes insurmountable. Times like now.

Natasha

"Hiding in the shadows? I thought you were done with that," Reina says, coming to stand next to me.

I'm within the celebration perimeter for the ground breaking, but hidden by some trees. Or, I thought I was hidden. Leave it to the Queen of the Spies to find me.

"I wanted to see this. Haring and I are over, so it's stupid, but I wanted to see him having this moment."

"It's not stupid. You could see him every single day, if you wanted."

"Stalking isn't something I'd feel comfortable with."

"Come work for me, Natasha."

I turn to look at her with wide eyes. "You want to hire me?"

"Yes."

"You don't recruit spies."

I know this because every female spy in the world has dreamed of working for the Society, at one time or another. Who wouldn't want to work for an organization that pays well, gives so many perks, and truly values the people who risk their lives every day? But, the beauty of this group is taking women from various walks of life and professions, and making them spies. Us traditionally trained women need not apply.

"True. As a rule, I prefer to bring in women who have specialties of their own, but I believe you could be an asset to us. You wouldn't have to be active if you didn't want to. You could teach, be on a research team, or even work strictly with the Foundation. I would only ask that you share your knowledge, and experience with us, as the need arises."

"The Foundation? You've seen my file."

"Yes, and I'm going to be very disappointed if you're ashamed by it."

"Not ashamed, no. I wanted to live."

"You did. You survived what most people on this Earth never could."

"I don't feel alive." I blurt it out, and then I cover my mouth.

"I lived that way for many years, so I understand. I went through the motions, and did a damn good job of everything, but I was never truly living. That didn't happen until Matt and I stopped fighting our love—and each other."

"Sometimes things are just too much to get past, to let go."

"If you join us, you'll know that what most of us have gone through for love is far beyond 'too much' and yet, here we are."

"I appreciate the offer, and I'll think about it. When do I need to let you know?"

"Whenever you decide. It's an open offer."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I need to go stand next to my husband for a few hundred more pictures, but it was good talking to you, Natasha."

"You too."

I don't leave when she walks away, because I don't know what I'm going to do. I have almost a week left before this "vacation" I've had forced on me is over, and I'm at a crossroads. Do I go back, and return to MI, probably being sent out on another long-term assignment? Or, do I take Reina up on her offer, and have to see Haring almost every day?

As I watch the man I love, surrounded by people who are congratulating him, and asking questions I know he won't answer, I feel proud of the part I played in keeping him alive. As the women hit on him, and he gives them his sexy smile, I feel jealousy, and hurt. I hurt so badly, thinking about him being with another woman now, and never calling her what he called me.

I shake my head, because I can't think about that right now. All it will do is make me spiral into being a hermit again, when I'm finally leaving the house. I still play Call of Duty every night, but I go out during the day. Even if it's just for a smoothie, or to grab a bite to eat, I leave the house.

I am a strong woman, who doesn't need a man to make her happy. I may _want_ him more than I want anything else, but I don't _need_ him. Or his judgment.

Like it's happening in a movie, his gaze snaps to mine as though feels me standing there. When he sees me, his eyes widen, and he steps away from the woman trying to command his attention. He mouths my name—or maybe he actually says it out loud, but I'm too far away to hear it if he does. I stay rooted to my spot, not allowing myself to make the first move. My breath whooshes out in a long exhale when he turns away from me, and back to his adoring crowd. He's done with me right now, and probably forever.

Do I deserve that? His scorn, and anger? No to the first, and yes to the second. He has every right to be angry, but no right to judge me. The only question I have is whether he said what he did out of anger only, or if he really means it. Should it make a difference? The feminist in me says it shouldn't, but the woman who still loves that man, says maybe it does. I'm still not sure who's going to win this battle.

# 12

Haring

The offers have come pouring in since the ground breaking last week. Offers to have coffee, lunch, dinner, and sex. Everyone wants something from me. The men are looking for details on the place I've designed for them. And the women, well they want my body, and they're not shy about telling me how they want it. If I was a better man, I'd be scandalized, but as I've done most of the things they suggest, I'm not. That's the problem.

I slept around like the world was ending, because I thought it _was_ ending for me. As I spiraled into my despair, I took whatever was offered to me, and fucked it. Fucked _them_. Women whose names I'll never remember, and whose faces I want to forget. Hell, even before my fall from grace, I slept with lots of women. It's not something to brag about, and I never did, but I lived that life.

I used women to try and forget, while Natasha used men to survive. How am I better? I'm starting to admit that I'm not. Seeing her hiding in the trees, instead of standing at my side, drove that home for me.

She watched me surrounded by women who were offering what I once took, and the pain on her face nearly brought me to my knees. My sister told me I was wrong, Isa and Jake told me I was wrong, but I didn't want to hear it. I still don't want to hear anyone tell me love can conquer all. Hearing it doesn't make it true. Seeing Natasha, and realizing I'd do anything to make her stop hurting is what turned me into a believer.

I believe—no, I know—my love for Natasha is enough to make me overlook what she did. It's also allowing me to see clearly. To remember how she was willing to sacrifice her life for mine in that basement. Her deception led me there, but she was going to do everything she could to make sure I lived. I knew that, but I didn't _know_ it. It was too soon, and I was too freaked out by everything I'd learned.

Can we really get past what she did, and what I said? I have no fucking idea, but I know I'm going to do everything I can to fight for her. She may choose to fight against me, and not with me, but that's just a chance I'll have to take.

"Hey Haring, do you have a minute?" Noah's best friend, Brayden, asks, standing in my office doorway.

"Sure, what's up?"

"We don't know each other well, but you're Matisse's brother, and working with Noah, so I wanted to include you in a small party we're having at the apartments tomorrow night. It's just Society, and family."

"Thanks. What are you celebrating?"

"Darcy and I just got approved as foster parents. It's the first step towards adopting."

"Oh wow! That's great. Congrats!"

"Thank you. We've been through a long battle, trying to conceive a child, and now we're in for a long battle, trying to give one love. It's a lot, but we love each other, and there will never be a chance of us giving up." He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't really know."

"Yeah, maybe. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

Brayden's a nice guy, but now he's got me thinking about babies. Beautiful little boys and girls with red curls. I can't see their faces clearly in my mind, because I don't know if they'll look more like me, or Natasha, but I know they're ours. I'm not even sure I can ever win her back, but I'm thinking of our children? Yeah, I'm obviously a mess right now. A mess of emotions I don't have a clue how to deal with. All I know is I need to do anything I can to get the woman I love back into my life.

I pick up my phone, but put it right back down again. I can't just call her. I need a plan. Something that she can't resist, even if she's still angry with me. I can handle her being angry. I can even handle her being hurt. It's the fear of her hating me that's giving me second thoughts in all of this.

One the one hand, she came to the ground breaking, a day she knew was important for me. But, she hid in the shadows, and never approached me. Okay, and she had to have snuck in—or maybe Jake got her an invite. No, I would've known. The Society had to clear any non-Corrigan invitees, meaning my sister would've known, and told me. Or would she have? She tried to talk to me about Natasha, and I didn't listen, so why would she tell me she was there?

I haven't been listening to anything but my anger, and fear, but now it's time for me to listen to my love for her. My heart is telling me to do anything I can to get her back, and my head is in agreement this time around. It's going to take both of them to give me even the slightest chance, but any chance is enough. It has to be.

Natasha

My time is almost up. My flight is booked for tomorrow. I'm leaving Las Vegas, and all that it holds. I can't take Reina up on her offer. I want to, but there are still things I need to deal with back in D.C. Things that can't be left alone.

As I wallow a little, a ringing from my bedroom makes me bound up the stairs. It's the phone that's long been hidden inside my tampon box. No one looks there, so it was the best place to put it.

"Hello," I say, breathlessly.

"It's happening tonight. This is your chance. Details will be encrypted when sent."

The person on the other end of the line hangs up before I can say anything else. There's nothing to say, so I'm not offended. I wait for the text, detailing where and when I need to be. When it comes through, I have to sit down on the bathroom floor, and take some deep breaths.

I work through possible scenarios in my head, weighing pros and cons. I finally pick up the new phone I bought after giving up my mob one, and make the phone call I need to, because I can't do this alone.

"Hey, I need your help."

"You've got it."

This time, I'm the one hanging up without another word. The person I called trusts me to let them know what I need, and I trust them to have my back. After all I've seen, and done, that might be naïve of me, but in reality, it's not. There's no one I can trust more than him.

I spend the afternoon gathering what I need. My gun from the safe in my closet. A couple of knives from another safe in a kitchen cabinet. Climbing gear from REI. All the physical things I need to do what has to be done.

I can't gather, or buy, courage. It's something I have to find inside of me, and I do. Tonight, I could finally be free of the chains that have bound me for a long time. Chains I willingly accepted, but have become so tired of—and from. I've lost so much I may never get back, because I chose the path I've been walking on for years now.

Will I get some of it back when this all ends? Maybe. Will it be worth it? My head screams that yes, it will, but my heart tells me no. All I can hope for is that some of the people affected will understand.

As I dress in black leggings, and a black hoodie, I mentally go over what I texted my accomplice, making sure neither one of us forgot something. He's as professional as am I, so I know I'd have received a text back if he thought the plan wouldn't work. Honestly, there's not much leeway we have in how to do it, but missing something would be deadly. For us, and the others who will be there when it all goes down.

It has to go down, because there's no other way for everything to be over, once and for all.

# 13

Haring

I'm happy to be here, celebrating Brayden and Darcy, but I wish Natasha was here with me. I'm no closer to figuring out what I need to do, because I haven't seen her. I don't know where to look, and I didn't want to ask Matisse yet. I know I'll ask her eventually, if I can't find the information myself. I may be proud, but I'm not always stupid.

There's a bit of a commotion at the door to the outside, and then James Kanta is strolling out, with guards at his side. The first thing I notice is that Natasha isn't with them. Why is he here?

Reina asks my question out loud for me. "Why are you here, James?"

"I can't visit my favorite secret spy organization while I'm in town?"

"A call would be preferred. We're in the middle of a private celebration at the moment."

"Am I not a friend?"

"No."

James seems to notice me for the first time. "Hello, Haring. It's a lovely day to be alive, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm sure you see that as a failure in my case."

"Yes, actually, and failure is not an option."

The gun is in his hand, and pointed at me, before I can register what is happening. His team also has guns out, but they aren't pointing them anywhere specific. Until they are.

Natasha comes swooping down from the top of the building, on a rope. She knocks James over, and has her own gun pointed at his head as she stands over him.

"You didn't really think I'd let you kill him, did you?"

"Letting your emotions get in the way is what started this downward spiral you're enjoying."

"I'm the one with the gun on you, so I'd say you're the one whose down right now."

"Am I though?" he asks, as all of his men point their guns towards her, and he gets to his feet with a smile that's pure evil.

I wish there was something I could do, but I'm frozen to the spot I'm standing in. Even if I had a gun in my hand, could I shoot it, and save her? Save myself? No, I couldn't. I'm not trained like she and Matisse are. All I can do is stand here—or jump in front of her. Yeah, I can do that.

As I'm making my move, Jake makes his first. He moves like a ninja, stepping behind James, with a gun to his head. I see Natasha visibly relax, until a new man goes right behind Jake, his own gun in play.

"We anticipated your lover, Natasha."

"You didn't anticipate her prom date," Aiden says, gun in his hand, as he takes down every enemy man with a rapid-fire precision that's pretty damn scary.

Jake and Natasha still have their guns on James, and he's gone pale. I'm not sure how even I'm standing at this point, because this is some crazy shit. I don't know how my sister does this on the regular.

"Your call, Tasha," Aiden tells her. I'm still in shock about the prom reveal, but that's probably the least of what's happening now.

She nods, and pulls the trigger. "Bye, James."

I've never seen a bullet hit a brain before, and definitely not at close-range. There's nothing glamorous, or pretty, about it. Nothing at all.

Natasha starts to fall, but Aiden pulls her into his arms. "It's over now. All of it is over."

"This mission is over, yes, but 'all' is too encompassing for what's going on here," Elizabeth Mason says, entering the backyard.

Natasha stands straight up, and glares at her. "No! You promised me I could leave if I took him down. I've done all you asked."

"You are too much of an asset to us. I cannot allow you to leave my service. I'm sorry, but it's just not logistically sound to let you go."

"Regardless, a promise is a promise," Vice-President Jones tells her. "Natasha fulfilled her promise to us. More than fulfilled it, actually."

"You are too soft," Mason scoffs at him.

"I'm human, and I can look myself in the mirror every night. That's not something I'm ashamed of."

"Humanity is over-rated."

"Really, Mom?" Jakes asks, shaking his head.

She actually looks remorseful. From what I've learned, their relationship has been strained since he met Isa, but I hadn't seen it live and in person before now. Without being told, I know Jake is her weakness, and she'll do anything she can to stay on his good side.

"Maybe only sometimes. I'll be sorry to lose you, Natasha, but I will honor our agreement."

Natasha doesn't respond, and she's still clinging to Aiden when General Mason leaves with her entourage. There's talk of a clean-up crew, and other things I'll never pretend to understand, but I ignore it all. My focus is all on the woman I love.

"Nat, I'm so sorry," Aiden's dad tells her. "If I'd known how far, and long, this was going to go on for, I would've never asked you to do it."

"Someone had to do it, Tim. It might as well have been me."

"Yes, well, your service to our country is appreciated, and I'm personally thankful to you for keeping Haring alive. Equally important is that you've kept yourself alive. I don't know that I'd have been able to forgive myself if anything had happened to you."

"Thank you for that, but lots of things _did_ happen to me. A lot of bad, and also some good. In the end, I didn't keep him safe for you," she admits, although it looks as though it pains her to say the words.

"I know, and that makes it even better."

"For who?"

Tim looks at her like a father looking at a child he doesn't know whether he should hug, or scold. "You and Haring are both family, and what more could I want than for two people I love to love each other? I know you can get past all of this if you just remember the love you share."

"Let her be, Dad," Aiden says.

"It's okay, Aid. Your dad doesn't ever have to pull any punches with me."

"Aiden's right, though. Right now, I expect your love life is not the top priority."

"No. I need to go home. I need to see my parents. If they even want to see me at this point."

"Would you like me to go with you?"

"Yes, but having your entourage show up will bring attention, and this is something I need to do quietly. You don't need the press for this, either, because so much more would come out, as well."

"Then I'll go," Aiden tells her.

"Please," she says, then turns to Ellie. "If that's okay with you."

"My husband has a lot to explain to me, but this seems to be something important."

"It is. My parents were told I died overseas, because we didn't want them in any danger while I was undercover with the mob. I couldn't have anyone attached to me who could be used against me. The worst day of my life was attending my own funeral, but it had to be done."

Natasha

There are many gasps throughout the assembled group, as I drop yet another bombshell on this group. I didn't add that there was a very real chance I _would_ die during my mission, because we all know the danger I was in. From the mobsters, and also, from their boss.

Yes, James Kanta was secretly running the group he purportedly sent me undercover to take down. Tim and Elizabeth knew what he was up to, but they couldn't tie him to any of it legally. After the first couple of years, we all stopped caring about legalities. He ordered his men to do so many things—to others, and to me—and we knew he needed to be taken down in any way possible. It was then that the question of evidence became more for permission to kill him than for his possible arrest. His reach was too far, and too wide, for us to take chance on arresting him.

"They have no idea you're alive?" Haring asks, and I look at him for the first time since I stepped in front of him.

"No. Like I said, it had to be done, but now I need to tell them I'm alive."

"Are we going to go the wrong identity route, or something else?" Aiden asks.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out on the plane."

"You're welcome to one of our jets," Reina tells me.

"Even if I don't take you up on your job offer?"

"Even then."

"Thanks."

"Let me just grab a bag, and I'll meet you back down here," Aiden tells me.

He's been holding my hand this whole time, and I give his a squeeze, before letting go. "Thanks."

"No thanks needed."

I watch him and Ellie walk away, and know there's going to be some talking before he comes back down. I can't complain about it, because I'd have questions if my husband suddenly announced he knew a woman he'd pretended not to know. She's a spy, so I think she'll get it, but I know she'll give him at least a little bit of shit for it. Aiden and I were never romantically involved—he went to prom as a favor to me, and he'll explain that to her—but I know it's still a shock. We were neighbors, and friends, nothing more.

Everyone disperses, except Haring, who approaches me. "Can we talk?"

"Not right now. I can't right now."

"When you get back?"

"Do we have anything to talk about?"

"Yes."

"Nothing's changed since D.C."

"I'm sorry about that. Really, and truly, I am so sorry. You are not what I called you. That word should've never left my mouth."

"No. It shouldn't have. I accept your apology."

"And?"

"And, that's all I've got right now. I really can't do this."

"I'll be here when you get back."

" _If_ I come back."

"Reina offered you a job."

"Just because someone offers me something, it doesn't mean I'll take it."

"Okay, well, I'm here. If you need something—anything—I'll be here."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I have to walk away. I told him we couldn't talk now, and yet I stood there and talked to him. Because I'm weak. I have never in my life wanted to look weak, but I _talked_ to Haring when I said I wouldn't. What is wrong with me? Love, that's what. I love that man too damn much.

I don't have time to dwell on that, since Aiden's back. He has his bag, and after I grab mine from my car, we're on our way. I know he wants to talk, and strategize, but he also knows me well enough to know I don't want to talk right now. I can't. I need to be alone with everything going on in my head. Not just Haring, but my parents, too.

How do you tell the people who grieved for you that you're suddenly alive? How do I explain that I was at my own funeral, in disguise? Will they believe it was as hard for me as it was for them? Their grief was my grief as I watched them fall apart before a closed casket. Some of their friends consoled them, but Aiden and Tim couldn't be there, because of the attention they'd draw.

They were there for me after I watched it all go down. When I collapsed, Aiden's arms caught me, much like they did today. It was only for a few minutes, because it was all Tim could arrange, but at least I had them. I consider myself lucky, despite everything. Or maybe, because of it, because, yeah—Haring.

# 14

Natasha

I've been back for two days, and I haven't done it yet. I haven't walked up to my parents' front door, and rung that bell. Aiden tells me to take my time, but I feel guilty. Even with him putting Ellie on the phone to tell me she's fine with him staying with me as long as I need him to, I feel bad about keeping him from his wife, and his life back in Vegas.

Living in D.C., you learn that sometimes it's nice to get lost in the crowds. To blend in, and disappear. That's what I've done as I've tried to work out my life, and what I'm going to do with it.

I visited the International Spy Museum, which amused me to no end. It always has, with its displays and info. I can't say how much is accurate—once a spy, always a spy—but I enjoyed seeing everyone's reactions to it all. Children who crawled through an air duct, and parents who tried to remember the fake identities they picked when they walked in, along with everyone else having fun pretending to save the world.

I popped in and out of various Smithsonian museums yesterday, something I hadn't done in years. I can honestly say I enjoyed it all, even though I've seen most of the displays more times than I can count.

Today, it's all about the National Mall. I've walked it back and forth, stopping to pay my respects at every memorial. Right now, I'm on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, silently asking that wise man for his advice. I'm not left alone with my thoughts for long.

"Really, Nat? Hanging out here?"

I look up, and smirk at Tim. He's as disguised as he can be, without making it obvious, but I'd know him anywhere. I spot various members of his team spread out around us, and nod.

"Nice job blending in."

"Don't divert."

"I'm not on a specific timeline, or deadline."

"No, but the longer you wait to do it, the harder it will be."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Yes."

He came out a few years ago, killing any chance he had of becoming President. Thankfully, that was never his goal. Tim wants to help as many people as he can, and he doesn't want to be held back by an office or title. The President refused to entertain any notion of him resigning, and they won another four years, but their time will be up soon. It makes me sad, because this man before me can never be truly replaced.

"You're one of the only people on this Earth who can make me jump on command. You know that, right?"

"I would never command you."

"Which is why I'm jumping," I tell him as I literally jump to my feet.

"Aiden's waiting around the corner."

"Thanks, Tim."

"You're welcome. I'll see you soon."

"Definitely."

We hug, and I get a kiss on the forehead, before being gently turned toward my friend. I shake my head, and chuckle, but do as I've been told. Weaving through the crowds doesn't feel fun right now, and as I'm bumped into, I start to lose my patience. Luckily, Aiden's close, and I find him before I go off on someone.

"If you didn't want to deal with the tourists, you shouldn't have come down here."

"I'm well aware."

"And yet you look like you want to start punching them."

"Who stands in the middle of the path to talk? I mean, come on, move to the side. Who does that?"

"They do. It's nothing new, they do it in Vegas too."

"I just don't get it; it's like all common sense goes out of people's brains when they go on vacation."

"Are we seriously talking about this right now?"

I kick a small rock with my shoe. "Uh-huh."

"You don't have to do this today."

"Yes, I do."

"I love my dad, but sometimes ripping off the Band-Aid isn't always the best way," he says, opening the door to the Uber when it arrives.

"Yeah, but it's the way I need to do it. He's right about me waiting, because as the days have been passing, I've been second-guessing myself."

"No, you're haven't. No matter what, you're going to tell them. You may be scared, but after your funeral, you told me you needed to tell them. It was one of the things driving you to get this done. Is it going to suck? Oh yeah, it is. But, you need them to know."

"What if they hate me?"

"They couldn't hate you."

"I have to do this."

He doesn't answer, because it's not a question. I know I have to do this. And, he's right, I want to. There's no other option, because I want to have them back in my life, and I want to try and end their suffering. I'm not naïve enough to think they'll be happy about everything, but I'm hoping their love for me will outweigh their anger.

"I need to change first."

I don't want my parents to recognize me walking up to their door, so when we get back to his townhouse, I put on one of my "new Natasha" outfits. A blue satin dress with a floral print, and retro style, along with heels and a small clutch. I don't look like the girl they said goodbye to at the base, or the woman who came back a little more jaded. I just look like me, the me I want them to know.

It doesn't take long to get to my parents' house from Aiden's place, but he passes the driver some money, allowing me a few more minutes to compose myself. I finally put on my sunglasses, and exit the car. Aiden's hand goes to the small of my back, comforting me as well as propelling me forward. One more deep breath, and then I'm ringing the doorbell.

"Hi Mom," I say when she opens the door.

"Oh my God!" she yells, before fainting.

Aiden catches her, and carries her to the couch. My father jumps from his chair, and as the glasses fall from my eyes, he staggers back. I grab his arm, and he pulls me against him.

"Natty?"

"Hi, Daddy."

"What? How?"

"I'll explain once Mom's awake again."

Aiden's got the high-tech version of smelling salts the Society uses, and he's waving it under her nose. She startles awake, and looks at him with wide eyes.

"Natasha...I saw her."

"Yes, you did."

"So, she's real? I didn't imagine it?"

"She's real," he tells her, nodding toward me.

"I'm sorry they told you I was dead. It was a case of mistaken identity, because I'd gone on a military mission not many people knew about. Since I couldn't be reached, and somehow dental records got mixed up, they were sure it was me."

* * *

It's close to the truth, and I desperately wanted to give them as much truth as possible, after the lies they were told. My father keeps touching me; my hands, my face, my arms. He's smiling, but it's a sad smile, and I can hear that sadness in his voice when he speaks.

"I can't believe they made such a mistake! There has to be someone we can report this to."

"It's been handled," I assure him, and well, it has. Just not in a way I can ever tell them.

"We were distraught. We buried you. Or who we thought was you."

"That body will be moved." There's no body in that casket, but I can't tell them that.

"I just can't understand how no one knew you were still alive."

I give him a little more truth, because God knows, we all need it. "It was a classified mission. I was deep cover, and it would've been dangerous for more than just me if I'd been contacted. I came here as soon as it was over, and I found out what they'd told you."

"I kept all your things," my mother tells me, speaking for the first time.

"Thank you." I don't know what else to say. What else _can_ I say?

"I didn't want to accept your death."

"I wish none of this had happened." That's not true anymore, because Haring makes me just a little but glad it did.

"You're home now, and that's all that matters."

There's a lump in my throat, and I'm ugly crying as I hug her. They aren't angry with me, and they don't hate me. My parents are just so glad I'm alive, and here with them. I promise to come visit often, and invite them to Las Vegas to see me whenever they want. Yes, I'm going back, to finally do what I want, and not what others need me to do.

Haring

I'm in personal limbo, and professional Heaven right now. Natasha's been gone for days, which is making me crazy. But, my building is almost done, which is making me freak out in a good way. In a perfect world, both would be going smoothly, but there's never been anything perfect about my life, so why start now?

"It's a great view, but better enjoyed with someone at your side."

I look to my left, and see an exotic beauty standing beside me on one of the many patios of the new C&C building. "I'm doing just fine on my own, but thanks."

"Not even going to ask me for my name, huh?"

"Sorry, but I'm just not interested."

"I don't believe I was offering anything other than some company while looking out over the city."

"I just don't want anyone to see us, and get the wrong idea."

"Girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend's friends. I'm trying to get rid of the 'ex' part."

"Well, I'm Seriyah, and I know most everyone in this building, so you don't have to worry about anyone thinking we're getting together."

That's not weird at all. "Um, okay."

"They all think my boss and I are getting it on," she tells me with a sigh.

"Oh!"

"We're not."

"None of my business."

"You're the only one, then. Everyone else seems to think it's theirs."

"I know the feeling."

"See, we'd be perfect friends."

"Maybe, but the people I'm worried about probably know you're not sleeping with your boss, so they might still think we're doing something."

She stands to leave. "I'll leave you alone since you're so paranoid, but you could at least tell me your name."

"Haring."

"Kind of nice to meet you, Haring. Good luck with the ex."

I'm an ass. This nice girl was just trying to hang out here on the patio, and I basically told her to get lost. "Hey, I'm sorry I was a jerk about you hanging out here with me."

"You were definitely a jerk, but I appreciate the apology, and I get it."

"The boss, huh?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Hope it works out."

"It never would, which is why I'll never allow anything more than business between us."

I shake my head as she walks back inside. Women are complex, and scary. All of them. Even if the look sweet, and shy, they are fucking scary. The woman I want is worth the work to figure out what she needs, which is why I'm all too happy to do it.

When I make my way back inside, I pick up a sandwich and chips from the cafeteria. The one here is even more elaborate than at the old building with no less than twenty different hot and cold offerings. That's not including the smoothie bars, ice cream counters, dessert cases, cold drink cases, and fountain drink stations. It's completely insane, and I'd miss it if I had to move.

For now, the activity center will only be open on weekends, and for birthdays and other celebrations during the week. We thought about having it open 24/7, but don't think the need will be there just yet. If that changes, we'll adjust. I'm in the process of hiring a staff of people who will be able to handle the thousands of employees, family, and friends who are going to pass through our doors every Saturday and Sunday.

I've already got over 500 birthday parties booked for C&C employees and their families, and I'm weeding through the requests for events from non-profits. My sister says it's job security, and while she's right, I'm just happy to be doing something I love. The only thing better would be having the woman I love by my side, but I'm working on it.

In the meantime, I spend the rest of my lunch in the game room. 1BadGuyAtATime is online, making me smile. Some of the only times I've been smiling lately have been when I'm playing with him. As usual, we banter, trash talk, and have some mindless fun while we take out the bad guys. If only real life could be so easy.

# 15

Haring

Natasha is in the building. This is not a drill. She. Is. Here.

I haven't seen her yet, but Matisse called me when she got here. She's on the Foundation floor, and despite my better judgment, I head there. I don't know what I'll do when I get there, but I have to be near her.

Alex Corrigan smiles at me when I walk through the door. "Have a seat, Haring, and I'll send you back when they're ready for you."

"Thanks."

I look at the pictures on the walls, the inspirational quotes on wooden boxes and plaques all over the tables and shelves, and I wait. I wait so long, I think Matt may send someone to look for me. Not that we have a meeting or anything scheduled, but I always feel like there's some sensor on our doors to let him know we're all in our offices when we're supposed to be. I'm probably being paranoid, because he has more important things to do, but I can't stop those thoughts.

"You can go on back to Reina's office now."

"Okay." Okay? What am I, five? Jesus, I need to figure my shit out. "Thanks, Alex."

The doors to Reina's office open as I approach. All twenty of the Society women are inside, along with Natasha. I stand awkwardly among them, as they give me looks ranging from encouraging to disgusted. Tough crowd is an understatement with this group.

"Hello, Haring."

"Hi, Reina."

"Natasha is going to be working here, and I don't want any problems."

"I'm not going to cause her any problems." I'm not. Even if she won't take me back, I won't make things hard for her.

"Good. Now tell me what the main issue is between you. I'm not asking to pry, but because I need to know what I may have to expect from any of your interactions."

Natasha answers before I can. "He called me a whore. I'm trying to get past it, but it's hard. I know I messed up, but I didn't deserve that. No woman deserves to be called that."

I see—and feel—every woman in the room get to their feet. I could possibly die right now, and no one would ever find my body. That doesn't worry me as much as it should, because all I can think about is how I hurt the woman I love.

"I was angry, and hurt, and I lashed out in a way I'm ashamed of. I've apologized, and I swear to all that's Holy, I didn't mean it. I don't think of you like that at all, Vixen. I would do anything you need me to do to help you to get past it. _Anything_."

"I want to slap you so bad right now, Haring Kingston," my sister tells me.

"Go ahead."

"That's why I can't; I know you're beating yourself up more than I ever could."

"Natasha, it's up to you whether I tell my husband about this. There is a strict C&C policy about words that should never be uttered."

My job? Reina is fucking going after my job? Sweat starts gathering on my brow as I imagine losing everything—again.

"No one goes after his job, or him. I mean it," Natasha tells them. "I'm having a really hard time getting past it, but I know he's sorry. He doesn't know what happened to me."

"What happened?" I ask, going to her side, and kneeling next to her. "Will you tell me?"

She nods. "I slept with the man I refer to as Satan willingly, because I knew I had to in order to keep my cover. I won't apologize for saving my life."

"You never have to apologize to me, or anyone else for doing anything you choose to do."

"I know, but I appreciate you re-affirming it for me." She looks to Reina, and then back at me. I take her hand, because it feels right. "A few months later, he had a party, and wanted to impress some other men. So, he had me brought down to the indoor pool. Before I knew what was happening, my clothes were ripped off of me, and I was being tied down."

No. Oh God, no. I want to go back in time, and kill that bastard with my bare hands. I also want to take back the afternoon in my apartment where _I_ tied her down. She let me do that, even after...

"There were too many of them for me to fight. Too many."

"You don't have to say anything else."

"I didn't want that. I didn't want any of it, but I also didn't want to die."

"I am so happy for that. You have no idea how happy I am that you didn't die. I love you so damn much, and I can promise you I'd die before I let anything like that ever happen to you again."

"I love you too, but I hate what you said."

"I hate it too."

It's just us right now, even though no one's left this office. Everyone else is just _there_ , while we're _here_.

"I can't imagine my life without you in it, Haring, but I need to take it slow, and figure things out. Can you wait for me? _Will_ you?"

"I'd wait until the end of time if I had to."

"I won't make you wait that long."

"You can if you want."

She leans down to whisper in my ear. "I can't wait that long for your cock, silly man."

"It's all yours," I whisper back.

"I hate to break this up, but I have some more stuff to go over with Natasha," Reina tells me. She's smiling, so I know I'm okay for now.

"Talk later?" I say to Natasha as I get to my feet.

"I'll call you tonight."

I walk towards the door, not expecting the smack to the back of my head. "What the hell?" I ask, turning to face my sister.

"I raised you better then to use that word, Warhol."

"I'm pretty sure it was me, Aiden, and Tim who raised _you_ , Cassatt."

She just shrugs. "Whatever. You needed some sense knocked into you."

I laugh, because I finally can, without feeling a stab of pain, too. The two most important women—hell, _people_ —in my life are okay with me right now. I can do slow with Natasha; Fuck, I'll crawl around like a snail if she wants me to. I just need to keep her this time.

Natasha

I talked for hours with Haring on the phone last night, and it was amazing. We talked about our pasts, our jobs, our favorite places in D.C., and just anything, and everything we could think of. We would've kept talking, but he knows how excited I am for my new job, and he didn't want to keep me up too late.

I stayed up after talking to him, though, because I was still a little too wound up to sleep. I jumped on my game console, and shot some bad guys with the friend Jake introduced me to a few weeks ago. I love the escape of the game, and I love the company of my online friend. Last night, though, I felt a little guilty. I could've still been talking to Haring. Tonight, I'll make sure to let it just be him, and not my gamer guy friend.

Walking into the C&C building in my red and black Alexander McQueen dress, I feel happy, and confident. Happiness eluded me for a lot of years, and while I'd found it for a short time with Haring, I wasn't sure I'd ever feel so completely content as I do right now, with a great job, and a great guy. My confidence dropped a little over the years, because it was taking so long to complete my mission, but it's over now. All of the shit I had to wade through is finally behind me.

My job for the Society is going to be a combination of what Reina talked to me about. I'm going to consult on missions, using my expertise to find any flaws they miss. I don't expect to find any flaws, but I feel appreciated just the same. More appreciated than I ever felt at MI.

When I'm not doing that, I'll be taking part in group counseling sessions with some of the women they help. I never got help for what happened to me, so I didn't think I'd be qualified, but I've been assured that my part will be more about listening, and being a shoulder to lean on. That, I can do.

My first stop today is Stella's office/closet. She told me to stop by, and see if there's anything I want to borrow, or keep. I can't wait to see what she's got in my size, as I figure out my new style.

"Hi," I say to the young, Asian guy, who is perched on an actual throne just inside the door. There's a desk too, but it's boring compared to the chair.

"Natasha? I love your hair, and I've seen pics of your retro look. Loving the McQueen."

"Thanks."

"I'm Kevin, and we're going to be besties, because you'll want in the closet when Stella's away on missions."

"Is that allowed?"

"Yes," Stella says, coming out to greet me. "But anyone can come in here when they want, and not just my assistant, so don't let him try to force you into bribery."

"I would never," he tells her, placing his hands on his chest.

"You would _always_."

He rolls his eyes, as I stifle a laugh. "I think I'm going to like it here."

"Love. You're going to love it here," Stella insists. "Now, let's look at clothes."

After a couple of hours of going through racks of clothes, my head is ready to explode. There are a couple of racks in front that none of us can touch, because those are for upcoming missions, but everything else is fair game. I know women who would literally kill for what's in the closet, but I need a break.

I look at my phone, and see a missed text from Haring, asking me to meet him for lunch. Damn, I would've totally said yes, but I'm pretty sure it's too late. I'll just have to eat alone today.

After grabbing my food in the cafeteria, I choose a table by the windows. As I look out over the city, a man takes the seat across from me. I raise an eyebrow at him, because I know I didn't give him permission to join me.

"I don't remember you asking to sit with me."

"I'm the best-looking guy here, so I don't need to ask."

He must be joking. He's definitely good looking, but no one has Haring's hair, sexy smile, or hot body. Not to mention the men I've found out call themselves the Studkateers around here. This guy is probably not hurting for women, but he isn't in the same league as my friends are. Plus, his attitude is definitely lacking.

"You _always_ need to ask."

"What's your name, beautiful?"

Before I can answer, Haring is at my side, dropping to his knees. "Marry me, Vixen. I know I've been an ass, but I love you."

What the hell? I told him I need to take it slow, and he's proposing to me? I can't deal with this right now, I just can't.

"No," I blurt out.

"Denied," the guy across from me says with a laugh. "Move along."

Haring looks like he's going to throw up as he surges to his feet, and practically runs away. I pick up my soda and toss it at the asshole across from me before following him out into the hallway.

"Haring, wait!"

He stops, and turns to face me. The anguish I see in his eyes nearly drops me to my own knees.

"I shouldn't have done that. I saw you with that guy after I invited you to lunch, and you ignored me. I know I don't deserve you. I _know_ it. But, I want to deserve you, and when I saw you with him, I felt desperate."

"You can't have expected me to say yes."

"Because of what I called you? If I hadn't called you that, would you have said yes today?"

"I don't know, because you did say it, and nothing can change that."

"I know. Believe me, I know. I just felt like I had to claim you. I don't want anyone else to have a chance with you."

"You could've just kissed me."

"Not while you were on a date."

I cross my arms over my chest. "So, proposing on a date is okay, but not kissing? And by the way, it wasn't a date. He sat down across from me, and I was working on getting rid of him."

"It wasn't a date?" he asks, relief evident in his voice.

"No, but let's get back to this proposal. What if I'd said yes?"

"We'd be doing our online registry right now."

"What do you know about those?"

He shrugs. "I have lots of friends who've gotten married over the last few years."

"Honey, no. When we get engaged, we'll be going into the stores themselves. You'll be walking beside me with one of those scanner thingies, and helping me pick our china, and some weird kitchen things we'll never know how to use."

"When?"

"When."

"How soon is too soon to ask again?"

"Right now, is too soon. And probably next week. But, lunch tomorrow sounds divine."

"Can I kiss you before you disappear on me?"

"You better."

That one kiss turns into a ten-minute make-out session. It might've gone longer, but Aiden and Nate start whistling as they approach us. I flip them the finger, as Haring removes his mouth from my neck. He was doing glorious things, and I don't want him to stop, but while I don't mind an audience, I'm not about to get in trouble on my first day. I'm covered in beard burn, and he's wearing all of my lipstick, but we're both smiling.

"You two know we have guest suites upstairs, right? I mean, they're supposed to be for clients who need a nap after a long flight, or are just staying for a night, but we can get you a key if you need it. 'No tell at the Corrigan Motel', and all," Aiden says with a smirk.

"Actually, if you've got the time, we need to talk," Haring tells him, and the smile drops from his face.

"Haring?" I ask, afraid he's angry with our friend.

"We haven't talked since all of this happened, Vixen. I just need to know his side of things."

"Let's do this," Aiden says, leading Haring back down the hall.

"Don't worry, Natasha, they'll be okay," Nate says, trying to reassure me.

I nod, but I can't bring myself to smile. Aiden and Haring are closer than Aiden and I ever were, and I couldn't live with myself if I knew I'd come between them. I pray this talk of theirs turns out well.

# 16

Haring

"You waited longer than I expected," Aiden says as we enter his office, and he motions for me to take the chair next to him in front of his desk.

"You were out of town."

"Hurts like a mother-fucker, doesn't it? Having someone else help your woman? I know, because I resented how close Ellie and Nate are, until I pulled my head out of my ass, and was just happy to know they could help each other."

"I'm not jealous of you helping her, because I know Ellie is it for you, and I also know Natasha loves me."

"Dammit! I wanted someone else to commiserate with."

"I thought you were over it."

"I am. Mostly. Kind of. No. Well, most days, yes. Love is fucking hard sometimes."

"You'll have to find someone else to get sympathy from. I'm here to talk to you about how you met her, how long you knew I was in danger, and basically, everything else you might want to reveal."

"I've known Tasha since middle school. We were neighbors in D.C. Did I have a crush on her ever, or vice versa? We once thought we liked each other, so we kissed, and it was okay. Nothing special for either one of us, so we moved on. When the assholes were circling her in high school, and I was fending off a crazy chick or two, we decided to prom it up together. After high school, she went into the military, and I decided I needed to try college first."

"Which is why I never met her."

"Exactly. She found her place in MI, while I drifted to Special Forces once we were both enlisted. Our paths crossed sometimes, but not a lot."

"And then I got in trouble."

"You telling my story for me?"

"Just helping you move it along."

"Smartass."

I hold up my hands. "It's a gift."

"You're definitely a Studkateer."

"Huh?"

"I'll explain later."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Oh yeah."

I shake my head, but press on. "When did you know about me?"

"My dad told me a little over a year ago. He knew Kanta was dirty, and trusted Tasha to be the one to take him down. She mentioned you, not knowing we knew you. After, part of her job became to try and protect you. It wasn't her main focus, though. She was after Kanta, and if that meant others had to save you, so be it."

"By 'others' you mean the Society?"

"Yeah. Matisse was already here, and Reina would've gone in for you."

"She did."

"Yeah, but only after Tasha left her cell phone behind at the airport for Jake to find. Tasha fell for you, and never looked back. Her only goal was to save you."

"She still took down Kanta."

"Yeah, but if she'd had to choose, she would've chosen you."

"I wish you'd told me. Knowing she'd slept with Jake, and then hearing she was your prom date—it was messy."

"Life is messy, my friend."

"Don't go getting all deep on me, Ford."

"We're getting older, Kingston. Deep thinking is inevitable."

"Touché."

"Is there anything else, or can I go eat lunch now?"

"Go eat. I'm expecting more info about this Studkateer thing later."

"Count on it."

I head back to my office, and finish up my final staff interviews that afternoon. I think I've chosen a good group, and now I just need to get their info to HR, so they can work up an orientation packet for them. Once they've gone through all the drug, and background checks, the building should almost be done, and they can start their training on everything there. Everyone I hired has lifeguard training, because I want to be able to rotate them through the different areas. Working in one area all the time can get tedious, and I don't want anyone getting bored. We're working at a fun place, so we should be having fun as well.

When I get home, I call Natasha while unpacking the take-out I picked up on the way home.

"Hey Vixen, do you have time for me?"

"Since I'm outside your door, I certainly hope so."

I drop my phone, and open the door to find her standing there, with her own take-out bag in her hand. She's still in the black and red dress from earlier, and I eye the flippy skirt like it's my favorite thing in the world, because her skirts are definitely in my top five.

"My eyes are up here," she tells me with a laugh.

"You know how fond I am of you in skirts that give me easy access to your pussy."

"Let me in, and keep talking sexy, please."

I pull her in, close the door, push her against it, and slide my hand up her skirt. Her panties are lacy, and I stroke the lace a little before sliding a finger in to grab some of her sweet cream. I lick my finger, never taking my eyes off her.

"I needed a taste, babe, to hold me over until after we eat. You're going to need that sustenance for your all-night fucking—and sucking. Because you're going to suck my cock so good tonight, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"And I'm going to eat your pussy over, and over again, between fucking you with my cock. I'm going to do both until you beg me to stop, because your pussy can't take any more love from me."

"Yes. Please, Haring. Yes."

"When you beg, I'll resort to petting it, and kissing it softly, because I never want to stop owning that pretty pussy."

"It's yours."

"Dinner first," I remind her, stepping away.

A shoe goes flying past my head, as I walk toward my kitchen island. "Pussy tease."

"Only a tease if I don't follow through, and believe me, I'm going to do all of that to you tonight, Vixen."

"Promises, promises."

"All going to be kept," I tell her again.

"They better be."

I pull her to me again, thrusting my tongue into her mouth, and licking it like I'm going to lick her lower lips. She moans around my tongue, and I pull her even closer. Now that I've got her back, I'm never letting her go again.

Natasha

Haring is slowly driving me insane. He's been licking his fingers after every bite, even though I know his fried rice isn't dripping on them. "Bastard," I whisper.

"What was that?"

"My pussy's feeling lied to."

"I thought she didn't talk to you."

"She's hurting, so she's louder than usual."

He slides off the couch to kneel in front of me. "My girl's hurting? We can't have that."

"Oh, it's okay for me to hurt, but not my vagina?" I ask, keeping my legs firmly closed, as he tries to pull them apart.

"Pretty much."

I push him over, and get to my feet. I'm looking for my shoes when he picks me up, and carries me to his bed. I hit him a few times, but I'm not putting up much of a fight. Especially not when he lays me down gently, lowering himself next to me, and resting on his side as he looks at me.

"Whatever you want, it's yours. I didn't mean to tease you so hard, babe. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. Always, I'll do it."

I look up into his eyes, and I see the truth there, along with the desire. Still, he made me mad, and he's not getting away with it. "I'm not opposed to your tongue."

"Not opposed, huh?"

"Nope."

"I'm to lick that sass away."

"Go ahead, and try."

He slides down the bed, and precedes to do exactly what he promised, alternating between his mouth, and his cock for the next several hours. When he's done with me, not only can I not be sassy, I can barely speak. My mouth wants to play, though, so I let it.

When Haring stumbles back to bed after depositing the last condom he filled up, I push him to his back, and start licking him. His hands go to my hair as he starts to get hard again.

"Vixen, fuck, are you trying to kill me? My cock is going to fall off if I keep coming as hard as you make me come."

"That was my pussy. You can talk to her later, but right now my mouth wants her turn."

"How can I argue with that logic?"

"You can't. Just lie back like a good, sexy, man, and let me suck you like you said you wanted me to."

He gives me a salute, before lying back down. He's not still for long, once I take him deep. As I lick, and suck, his back bows off the bed, and he pulls my hair hard. I like the little touch of pain, because it tells me he's loving this as much as I am. Make no mistake, I am loving the feel of him in my mouth. So much so that I'm wet, and wanting right now. I moan around him, because I can't help it.

"Vixen, are you getting off on this? On sucking me into that sexy mouth of yours?" All I can do is nod. "Touch yourself, babe. Make my pussy leak."

I shake my head no. This is all about him right now. I can wait.

"You know I'm going to lick her again, right? She's being neglected, and I won't stand for that."

I pull my mouth from him, because he's being ridiculous. "Are you going to come down my throat like a good sex god, or are you just going to complain because I'm not coming with you?"

He shrugs. The fucker actually shrugs. "Both?"

"Haring Kingston, I swear to God, if you don't lie back and enjoy me giving you this blow job, it's going to be the last I ever give you. Is that what you want? Am I not doing a good job?"

He looks panicked, as he should. "You are the Queen of the BJ. The best of the best. I'll be good. Promise."

I watch him cross his heart, because he's that ridiculous, and then I get back to business. Now that he's not trying to be a smartass, it doesn't take me long to break him. He's coming down my throat in just a few minutes, and I'm loving every drop I suck from him. After, I lick the tip to make sure I don't miss anything I could have for myself.

"Why was that so hard?"

"Because you made him hard."

"Him? FYI—he didn't talk to me."

"Of course not. He was in your mouth, so how could he be heard?"

"I can't even with you."

"Well, you did. Several times already. Now, it's time for my girl to have some rest."

He starts petting my pussy lips, and it's all I can do not to slap his hand away. Not only am I sensitive, but I'm still wanting after sucking him off. "Go away."

"It's my apartment. Did I fry too many brain cells when I fucked you that last time?"

"I meant to get away from my pussy."

"Are you jealous? You are, aren't you? Don't be jealous of her."

"I'm not jealous, you asshole! I'm fucking horny from sucking your cock, and if you're not going to take care of it, I'll do it myself."

"Please."

"You want to watch me get myself off?"

"More than anything else right now."

I roll my eyes. "I don't know why I'm indulging you right now, when you're totally pissing me off."

He raises his hand. "I know! I know!"

"Put your fucking hand down."

"Down where? Do you want to see me jerk off?"

Yes. Oh God, yes. "Do it."

"After you."

I slide my hand down my body, and my fingers find my swollen clit. I rub it back and forth as he takes his cock in hand, stroking it hard. I slide my hand lower, and alternate between pumping my fingers in and out, and playing with my clit. My other hand moves to play with my nipples, and I watch Haring's other hand tug at his balls as he strokes himself.

We both race to the finish, and I know I'm going crazy because I'm watching him get himself off to me getting myself off. It's fucking hot, and as I scream out my release, he comes all over his stomach. I lean over to lick, and he grabs my hand to suck.

I don't expect him to lift me onto his still hard cock, but he does. I slide down, as he pulls my mouth to his for a hard kiss. I can taste us both now, and it makes me wet all over again.

"I need another fuck. My hand wasn't enough, and I need to come in your pussy. I swear I'm clean."

"I'm clean too, and on the pill. Come in me. I want it too."

He holds my hips and fucks into me, while I hold his headboard so my tits are right above his mouth. He licks and sucks them as I roll my hips, helping him get us both off.

"You're wet again for me. This sweet pussy is slick and hot, just the way my cock likes it. I love it when I'm sliding in your juices, babe."

"I love it too. You're so hard, because I made you that way, and you know you're big. Fuck, you're so thick and big."

"I'm going to keep fucking you all night, you know that, right? All night, I'm going to wake you up to take my cock."

"Yes. I want it."

"When she starts to get too sore, and begs me for a break, I'm going to shove my cock in your mouth while I kiss her. And when your mouth can't take anymore, I'm going to push your tits around him again, and fuck them until they're red."

"All of it, yes."

"I'm going to leave your ass alone, because I know you're not into that, but I'd take that too if I had the chance. Make no mistake about it, Vixen; I own this body, just like you own mine."

"I'm going to be waking you up too, so be ready for it."

"I'm always ready."

He proves it by coming inside me, as I scream out his name once again. I'm addicted to a cock, and a mouth, and yeah, the man too. I can't get enough of any of them, and frankly, I never want to.

# 17

Haring

Today is one of the biggest days of my life. The Society, and their families are trying out my building before anyone else. Even my staff hasn't been in here yet, and they aren't here tonight. The adults here know how to save another human, so there's no safety concerns.

I'm happy to have Natasha with me, holding my hand as I open the doors. We've been back together for two weeks, and they've been the best two weeks of my life. Even better than when we together the first time, because now there are no secrets between us.

I stay back with her, watching everyone walk through each floor, taking it all in. When we get to the top, where the outdoor batting cages, and driving range are on the bullet-proof glass enclosed roof, they cheer. These men and women I admire cheer for me.

As they all start to talk at once, telling me their favorite attractions, my smile is real. Natasha's hand is still in mine, and my building's a success. What more could I ask for?

"You did an amazing job, Haring. I knew you would, and I saw the plans, but this is above and beyond what I originally imagined."

"Thanks, Matt. I mean it. Thanks for giving me this chance."

"You obviously earned it."

After I accept all the compliments, everyone disperses to start trying things out. I turn to my woman, and ask her what she'd like to do first. She bites her lip, but I kiss it free, and raise an eyebrow at her.

"It's just not something you'd probably expect."

"Now you've got me completely intrigued."

"You're supposed to be intriguing _me_ , remember?"

"Yes, and I'll do that again later tonight, but right now, I want to play with you."

"Okay."

She leads me into one of the elevators, and down to the gamer floor. I'm completely shocked, because I didn't know she even knew how to play any games. My confusion grows when she goes straight for the Call of Duty room, and begins to log in. As she puts in her username, my shock turns to anger.

"What the fuck?"

"I'm just logging in. Is that okay?"

"Your username is 1BadGuyAtATime?"

"Yeah, why?" she asks, still not looking at me.

"I thought we were past the lies, and deceptions."

She turns to me now. "We are."

"Yet, you've been playing me all this time."

"What are you talking about?"

"DerbyBoy202."

Her eyes go wide. "That's you?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"I don't play dumb for anyone, Haring."

She's angry, and a part of me wants to believe her, but I believed her once, and almost died. "I can't do this again."

"Again? You're equating us playing a video game to me being undercover?"

"They're both lies."

"I'm not lying to you right now. I honestly didn't know it was you."

"You made me think you were a guy."

"If you're in the community, you know how women are treated by many of the men. I never say I'm a man, but unless I'm asked directly, yes, I let people believe I am. I never plan to meet anyone I game with, so it's never been a problem."

"Until you and Jake decided to mess with me. It's not a coincidence he asked me to play the night you were playing with him. After you refused to come to dinner."

"Jake did not tell me."

"I'm sorry if I don't believe you. No, actually, I'm not. You just can't tell the truth, can you?"

"I'm telling you the truth right now."

"Just go."

"If this is the way you're going to be, I'll gladly leave."

"Bye."

I can't believe this is happening. I was just thinking about how happy I am, but once again, it's all a lie. I was stupid to trust Natasha again, but this is it. I'm completely done with all this bullshit.

"Why was Natasha running out of here like the world was ending?" Matisse asks, walking into the room with Kendrick hot on her heels.

"She lied to me again."

"What? When?"

"I've been gaming online with a guy Jake introduced me to. Or, at least, I thought it was a guy. Turns out it was Natasha. She came in here, and entered her username in front of me, like it was nothing."

"She said she was a man when you played together?" Kendrick asks.

"No, but she didn't say she was a woman, either."

"Did you?" Matisse asks, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No."

I'm starting to feel a little niggle of wrongness, and Kendrick just adds to it. "Is it customary to ask?"

"No."

"So, how do you know she lied?" my sister demands.

"Jake knows."

"Again, we're talking about her, and not Jake."

"It's too much of a coincidence."

"Coincidences do happen."

"With this group?"

She just shakes her head, and presses a button on her arm. "Isa, can you and Jake come to Gameroom 10? Thanks."

They walk in a couple of minutes later, smiling because they don't know what's about to happen. Their smiles fall when they see Matisse and I glaring at each other.

"What's up?" Isa asks.

"Did you know Haring and Natasha were gaming together, Jake?" Matisse asks him.

"Shit. Is that why she's not in here with you? You guys found out about each other?"

"I told you it was a set-up!" I shout, feeling vindicated.

Matisse is having none of it, though. "Oh, shut it, because we haven't found out the most important thing yet, you idiot."

"She didn't know. That's what you need to know, isn't it? I did this on my own, hoping the two of you could connect through the game, even though you weren't connecting in real life. Nat didn't know a thing."

"You're saying that because she's your friend," I say, knowing it's not true, but trying to justify my actions anyway.

"I'm your friend too, and I wouldn't have told her without telling you."

"What did I do?" I ask, not expecting anyone to answer, but of course, my sister does.

"You acted like some deranged asshole."

"Thanks, Matisse. I appreciate the support."

"You know you have it, even if you don't deserve it, so stop calling me by my real name!"

"Sorry. Fuck! What am I going to do now?"

"I honestly don't know at this point. I'd be pissed too, but I'm not Natasha, so a grand gesture for me, wouldn't be the same for her. And maybe she doesn't want something grand."

"She does," Jake says. "She used to drag me to movie theaters playing old romance movies between missions. I had to suffer through a million grand gestures, and hug her when she cried at every damn one. She's had to become tough, and hard, but she loves romance."

"I'm going to give her romance," I vow. Now, I just need to figure out how.

Natasha

I can't stop crying. Why can't I stop crying? I did nothing wrong, so I shouldn't be crying over Haring, but I am. And I just can't fucking stop. Two days later, and every time I come home, I just cry.

I look over at my game console like it's the devil, when it's always been my comfort. Wiping my eyes, I force myself to pick up the controller, because he can't take this from me. I won't let him.

When I log in, I have a new message. I'm scared it's from him, but it's not. It's an invitation to play a beta version of the new game coming out later this year. Jumping up and down happens, as I click to accept the invite.

The new game loads on the screen, and I lose myself in the battle. I've seen the usernames of some of the other players before, but I've never played alongside them. It's nice to be anonymous. Until a new player name pops up, and I stop breathing for a moment. HerringLovesVixen.

He's here. I should log off, especially when he sends me a request to chat. Instead, I pause my game, and accept his request.

Me: You did this?

Him: Yes. I'm trying to romance you.

Me: How?

Him: Scott Griffin knows people.

Me: You never mentioned knowing him like that.

Him: I'm a Studkateer now.

Me: Of course you are.

Him: I can renounce my place with them if you want.

Me: You're being ridiculous.

Him: I'm so sorry I thought you knew. I would do anything to make it up to you.

Me: I don't know.

Him: I'm going to keep romancing you until you DO know.

Me: What if I decide I can't be with you? That it's too much?

Him: I'll live out the rest of my life as a bitter, single man.

Me: Haring...

Him: Vixen...

Me: I'll give you once chance. I'm coming to the official opening of your place, and I want

you to pick a date for us. Choose a room, and wow me. That's what I need from you.

Him: Already planned one.

Me: You think it will wow me?

Him: Oh yeah.

Me: We'll see.

I log off before he can say anything else, because my smile is already too wide. Yes, he jumped to conclusions, and hurt me, but I can't help but wonder about the tables being turned. If I'd seen his username first, would I have thought he was playing me? I probably would have, although I hope I wouldn't have attacked. I can't say I wouldn't have, because things didn't play out that way. All I know is that I love him, and I want to forgive him again. The way he forgave me.

For now, I take a shower, clean up a little around the house, and settle back on the couch—to work, this time. I have a mission to go over, and it late in the night before I set it aside. I need to make sure every angle is analyzed, and it's going to take more than one night at home. Sleep is underrated.

How can someone focus if they only have a few hours of sleep a night? How can you do your best work if you're fatigued? So much of our population runs around like they're on a little mouse wheel, just running and running while they get nowhere. Society judges each other by jobs, and status, when we should be looking at humanity, and kindness.

It's one of the reasons I love C&C and the Society so much. Don't get me wrong, everyone works hard. Yet, they don't kill themselves to make things happen—unless they're saving a life. After every mission, though, the women take a week off to just _be._ It's pretty close to perfect, and I'm just glad I was lucky enough to end up there. A job I love, and a man I love—it's seems too good to be true, but I'm not complaining this time about things being too good. I deserve good.

# 18

Natasha

Walking into my office the next morning, I find a small package sitting on my desk. Unwrapping it, I discover a game controller necklace with the word "Vixen" on one side, and "1BadGuyAtATime" on the other. I clutch it in my hand as I smile. Haring's doing a good job at this romance thing.

"You're smiling, which tells me things are looking better," Jake says, standing in my doorway.

"What do you want?" I'm still mad at him about the gamer stuff.

"I was just trying to get you two together."

"And it backfired spectacularly. You should've told us. If not then, you should've said something when we got back together."

"I know."

"And now he's part of your Studkateer nonsense?"

He looks affronted. "There is nothing wrong with bromances, Nat."

"No, but you guys take it to the extreme."

"And you women don't?"

"Up until a few weeks ago, I had no female friends."

"You do now. A lot of them."

"Yes," I admit.

"So, say it."

"Ass."

"Say it."

"Fine. You men and your Studkateer thing are not as ridiculous as the name implies."

"You could've done better, but I'll take that."

"I have work to do."

He gives me the puppy dog eyes that used to drop panties all over the globe. "You're not going to tell me why you're smiling?"

"You know those eyes don't work on me."

"Damn."

"Haring's romancing me." I'm only telling him this, because I want to tell someone, and he's here.

"I told him you love romance, but I wasn't sure he could pull it off."

"Well, he is."

"That's all you're going to give me?"

"Yep. I have work to do."

"You're no fun sometimes."

"Bye, Jake," I reply, looking down at my desk so he doesn't see my smile.

I appreciate my friend trying to help me out, and I'm even glad that he's become friends with Haring, but this is between us. Whether we end up together, or apart, is up to us. I'm hoping for "together", but the ball's still in his court right now.

As the day goes on, he's volleying the ball over the net, again and again. At lunchtime, the chef at my favorite station has my meal waiting for me. The tray he hands me has a small vase with my favorite flowers, and there's a quote from one of my favorite movies typed on a colored slip of paper beside it.

In the afternoon, I get a delivery of my favorite chips, along with a little can of Pepsi. And when I get to my car in the parking lot, it's got an envelope under the wipers. I pull it out to find tickets to an old romance movie marathon in L.A., taking place a couple of months from now. I like that he gave me both tickets, giving me the choice of who to bring. I'm going to bring him, of course, but it's nice to be given a choice.

Today, I've felt special in a way I never have before, and if I'm being honest, I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. No, that's not right. I don't want tomorrow. I want today. I want _now._

I walk away from my car, and back into the building, taking the elevator to Haring's floor. When I get there, his office is empty, and my shoulders slump in defeat.

"He's at the Fun Center," Matt tells me.

I look up to see amusement in his eyes. "Oh. I thought he was here today."

"No. I delivered all the gifts for him."

"You?"

"Yes, me," he says with a laugh.

"But you're the CEO."

"And also, a Studkateer. One bests the other every time."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, although I'd rather you go find the man behind the plan, and thank him."

"I will," I promise.

Which is why I find myself pulling into the almost empty lot outside Haring's building. The guard at the gate was expecting me, and waved me on in. I resist the urge to check myself out in the visor mirror, because Haring never cares if I'm perfectly put together.

I walk into the building, and the smile drops from my face. Haring's flirting with Seriyah at the front desk. She works for Xavier James, and C&C employees don't get to see the building until Saturday. There's no reason for her to be here. No reason except Haring.

I waited too long to tell him I want him. I should've called—or even texted—when I found the necklace this morning, and now it's too late. He's moved on. I know everyone says Seriyah and Xavier are together, but I know they aren't. Isa confirmed it to me at lunch last week.

"Can I help you?"

I turn to see a young woman, wearing one of the uniform shirts Haring chose for his staff. Pulling the envelope from my purse, I hand it to her. Then, I take the necklace off, and give her that, too.

"Can you please give these to Haring?"

"Vixen?"

I close my eyes, and beg my eyes not to leak when I open them. "Hi Haring."

"I didn't expect to see you here today."

I keep the smile on my face somehow. "I guess not."

He looks over to the girl next to him, and sees what's in her hands. His face falls as he turns back to me. "What's going on?"

"Haring, thanks for giving me a tour, but I need to get back to work now. Oh, hi Natasha."

"Hello. I didn't know Haring was giving private tours now." It's petty, and childish, but I couldn't help it.

"Only to friends. _Good_ friends."

I resist the urge to lunge for her, and take her to the floor. I resist, but just barely. It's not her fault I gave him up.

"Really, Ser? She's just a friend, babe. I swear. Or at least she was."

"Not my business."

I turn and run for my car before anyone says anything else to me. Maybe she is just a friend, but she got a private tour, and I didn't. I saw it all first, but our friends were with us. He didn't walk me through the rooms, and show me everything. He said he has a date planned for me when everyone else is here, but he never even mentioned a private tour. I'm so stupid.

Haring

"What was that?" I ask Seriyah, pissed that she put herself in the middle of me and Natasha.

"I was trying to help. She's the one, right?"

"Yes, she's the one, and now I lost her again! Why would you do that?"

"What's going on?" X asks, joining us downstairs.

He didn't want to leave the VR rooms he designed for me, so Seriyah and I came down to wait for him. Now, I wish we'd just hung out upstairs.

"Nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"I was trying to help him, but it backfired," Seriyah admits.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Oh, shut up!"

Any other time, I'd be amused to see the two of them interacting. In fact, I was totally amused to watch them go at it earlier, but not now. Now, I'm trying to figure out how to fix things with Natasha. Again.

"I need a selfie with a timestamp, so smile for the camera," I tell them.

It may not help, but I send the text to her anyway. I need her to know I wasn't giving Seriyah some kind of private tour. There's no way in hell I'd ever do something like that. Sure, we have some celebrities and politicians coming by after the employee launch for private tours, but I'd never bring another woman here on her own, like a date.

My phone rings almost immediately. I see her picture on the screen, and swipe to answer, holding my breath as I wait for her to speak.

"You weren't giving her a private tour?"

"Never. X helped with the VR stuff, and a few other things. He wanted to check it all out, and brought her along."

"I'm feeling really immature right now."

"I'd be jealous if I thought you were showing a part of yourself to another man. And, I got jealous because some ass was sitting with you at lunch, so I'd say you don't need to worry about me understanding."

"Can I have my stuff back, please? I'm still in the parking lot."

"Only if you let me give you a private tour."

"I've seen everything."

"In a group, but we didn't play with any of it."

Please say yes, please say yes. "I don't want to keep you from your work."

"I'm about to send everyone home, so it would be all play, and no work."

Come on, Vixen, say yes. "Okay."

"See, everything worked out," Seriyah tells me when I hang up.

"Not now, Ser. I'm glad we've become friends, but Natasha is everything to me, and if I lose her again, I'm going to lose my mind."

"She didn't mean whatever she did, Haring. Her heart's always in the right place."

Seriyah looks at X like he has two heads, but I can't help smirking at the two of them. They are definitely getting together. They might be fighting it, but it's going to happen eventually.

I forget them, and their problems, as Natasha walks back inside. "Hi."

"Hi."

"And that's our cue to go. Come on, Troublemaker," X says, pulling Seriyah out the door with him. She's smacking him on the arm, and I think she bit him, but I don't care.

"Will you put my necklace back on me?" my very own vixen asks, walking up to me, and pointing at it where it lies on the counter.

"Will I get a kiss if I do?"

"You'll get a kiss, regardless."

"Come here, babe."

She holds up her hair, and I make sure to suck a little on the back of her neck after I take care of the necklace. "I love your mouth."

"It loves you right back."

"I also love your hands, so if they feel the same, can I hold one right now."

I clasp my hand around hers, and link our fingers together. "Let's play."

We start at the top, but she doesn't want to hit any golf balls. "Nope, I only want to play on the mini course."

"Baseball?"

"Yep, because I like big balls better," she tells me with a wink.

The guys who are still up here snicker, but I shoot them a look. "You're all done for the day. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You are so bad," I tell her after they grudgingly pile into the elevator.

"Just the way you like me."

"Love. Just the way I love you."

"If you keep saying things like that, we'll never actually play any of these games."

"I wouldn't complain."

"I was promised the only private date tour, and I want it all."

"All?" I ask, picking up on what she's not saying.

"All."

# 19

Natasha

Thank God Haring didn't give Seriyah a tour alone, because after the one he's giving me, I'd have to kill her. This is the best damn tour anyone's ever been given in the history of tours, and I don't know how I'll walk through these floors again without mentally re-living it.

In the batting cages, Haring put on a helmet, and joined me in my booth. There's a way to make it so a barrier wall comes up, protecting the bottom half of the cage, which I don't think is standard. I have no doubt Miles Corrigan, or Joel Cruz suggested it, meaning I'm not the only woman who's been eaten out while trying to use a bat. That knowledge didn't dim the enjoyment I got from what Haring did to me, though. Not one bit.

After the cages, he led me to the roller rink, where I showed him how skilled I was at dropping to my knees amidst the 80s music and flashing lights. We shot a few hoops on the basketball courts, made-out on the fake grass covering the soccer field, and played a spirited game of Call of Duty, sitting right next to each other. We warmed each other up on the ice, and fucked while playing Skeeball against each other.

That was one for the record books, as I had a knee on each game, while he took me from behind. We both shot balls around, and through my legs, our tries getting more erratic the closer we came to well, coming. I won, but just barely.

Right now, we're playing Strip Mini-Golf. He's better at it than me, which is why he's only lost one shoe. I'm down both shoes, and my top, but it's far from over.

"I like the bra, Vixen."

"Thanks," I say, looking down at the overflowing demi-cups of my lace bra. "I have a reason to embrace my sexy lately."

"As long as the reason's me, I wholeheartedly support that."

He misses his shot, and flings his other shoe off. "Fishing for compliments?"

"Always. My ego needs the boost."

"No, it really doesn't," I tease, and then curse, when I miss my next shot.

I can take off my skirt, leaving me bare, because he stole my panties when we were fucking, or I can take my bra off. Haring's watching me with dark, and heated eyes as I decide. I go with the bra, tossing it at him.

"I can't wait to fuck those again."

"Me either."

I manage to keep my skirt—barely—by forcing myself to concentrate on the rest of the game. Haring's got his red boxer briefs on, but nothing else. We could do some kind of tie-breaker, but we call a truce instead.

"Ready to get wet, Vixen?"

"Your abs are on display, which means I'm already wet."

"Fuck."

"Okay."

We take the big staircase down one level, instead of using the elevator. Once we're inside the doors to the water park, I look around in awe. I've seen it already, but it's still just as impressive the second time around. The slides, and toddler play areas are cool, but it's the rest that inspires my awe. The lazy river, and the wave pool look so damn real, they almost make you forget they're indoors.

"What's you're pleasure?" Haring asks, standing behind me as he plays with my nipples, and thrusts against me.

I answer without hesitation. "The wave pool."

"Good choice."

He turns it up a notch, we each shed our last piece of clothing, and then we wade out, going far enough that we can't stand without water covering our heads. We swim against the tide, taking us a few minutes to reach one of the side ladders right in the thick of things.

I grab tight to the ladder, and we wait for the current wave to wash over us. Once it's calm for a moment, Haring thrusts into me. His legs wrap around mine, so his feet can grip the ladder as he takes me hard. The waves hit, but we're both strong enough to only sway from the force, and not lose our grips. It's sexy, erotic, and fun. As I feel myself coming, Haring propels us out of the water, and onto the ledge next to the pool. He pounds into me as he comes, roaring out my name.

"Sorry, but I didn't want to come in the pool with it opening this weekend."

"The only thing you have to apologize for is wearing me out before we got to the bowling alley."

"No bowling alley tonight, Vixen. I have something special planned for you up there on Saturday."

"Do tell."

"Nope. You'll just have to wait, and see."

I pout to no avail. He's giving up nothing, but I can't help smiling. If his surprise is anything like tonight, I'm going to continue to be one very happy woman.

Haring

Even though Natasha and I are once again in a good place, I didn't let up on the romantic gifts. Aiden helped me deliver little baubles, trinkets, and movie quotes to her over the past two days. He ribbed me to no end, until Ellie got wind of it, and reminded him that he's a closet romantic, too.

Today is the grand opening, and I have one final gesture for her. The big one I may not need any longer, but since she inspired it to begin with—and she deserves it—I'm going through with my plan.

She walks into my living room in a black dress that's all lace above her collarbone. It's sheer with polka dots, along with some flowers and stars, ending in a little white pointed collar at her throat. The rest of the dress is solid black, with one of those flirty skirts I love, ending several inches above her knees. I can't wait to flip it up, and sink into her, but that has to wait for now. Her hair is in a ponytail, and her bright red lipstick is like a homing beacon to her luscious lips.

"Beautiful as always."

"Thank you. You look very handsome in your shirt."

I smile, because it's just a plain t-shirt with "C&C Fun Center" stitched over the chest. Nothing special, but I know she's being serious, because she's told me she loves me in t-shirts.

"I really want to kiss you, but we need to get to the opening."

"Kissing me usually leads to us getting to the opening," she teases.

"Out," I reply, shaking my head.

"Later?"

It'll be sooner, rather than later, but I agree. "You know it."

When we arrive at the center, the lot has already started filling up. I keep Natasha's hand in mine, even when people want to shake mine, or try to pull me away. I'm happy to fist bump with my other hand, and if they want to talk, they can talk with her next to me. We're a package deal.

I have to let her go as we stand next to Matt and Reina, preparing to open the doors. She claps along with everyone else, but her smile is just for me. This is it. I'm apprehensive, but confident at the same time.

We open the doors, and watch the people rush in. My staff guides them into elevators, where they'll be let off on different floors. Theoretically, each floor can hold around 1,000 people, but that would be wall to wall craziness. It's better to split them up, and let them enjoy themselves.

Lots of pictures have to be taken before I can get Natasha into the private elevator in my office, and it makes me a little crazy, because I want to get her upstairs. She smiles when I push the floor for the bowling alley, and I smile back.

"My surprise?"

"Your surprise."

We weave through the crowd to the Adults Only Bowling Lounge. It's almost full in here, but the lane I reserved for us is waiting. The employee guarding it nods at me, before walking away. The shoes, champagne, and chocolate covered fruit I ordered are just where they should be, and Natasha claps her hands a little when she sees them.

"I'm not exactly dressed for bowling," she tells me.

"Not a problem."

I press a button on the ball return, and a set of clear walls descends around us, and the lane. She looks at me in wonder. "Haring?"

"Remember when you said you'd like me to fuck you at the bowling alley?"

"Yes."

"The glass here is one way. All they can see on the outside are the videos being played on the other side, because their side is a giant screen that wraps around us."

"But, we can see them."

"Yes."

She's on me, then. Kissing, me, and pushing me onto one of the plush benches I designed with her in mind. I help her pull my shirt over my head, and she kisses her way across and down my chest, leaving her lipstick everywhere.

I'm not ashamed to say I just lie there, and let her have her way with me. It's hot as fuck to watch her lose herself to her lust, and I'm definitely not complaining. Still not complaining as she drops to her knees, and takes care of my jeans. I lift up, so she can pull them down, along with my briefs, but this is her show, and she'll let me know when she's ready for my participation.

She pets my cock, and gives it little kisses all over. It's driving me insane, and she knows it. Her eyes sparkle with mischief as they meet mine, and I can only smile back. My patience is rewarded when she slides her mouth down, taking me deep.

"Babe."

She plays with me for several minutes, alternating between licks and sucks, before climbing onto my lap. "Fuck me," she says, rubbing her wet panties over my cock.

"Nope."

"What?" she asks, trying to pull away.

I pull her pack, and kiss her sweetly. "We make love, Vixen. It's always making love now, no matter how or when I take you. Understand?"

"Yeah, I understand," she agrees with a smile. Standing, she slides her panties down her legs, before positioning herself over me once again. "Now, make love to me, Haring. Hard, like we both like it."

I move my cock, so it's lined up right, and slide home. "Oh yeah."

She begins to ride me as I hold her hips and meet her moves with my hard thrusts. I know she loves watching everyone around us, and knowing we're doing this amongst them. She's so damn wet, and my balls tighten as I see the pleasure on her face.

"Do you think they know what we're doing?"

"Maybe. Probably. When we leave, and you can barely walk, they'll know. They'll know I fucked your pussy so good, and hard."

"It's so good."

"Yeah, it is. You're so tight around me. So fucking tight, it makes me lose my mind."

I start moving more erratically, as I try to keep my orgasm at bay. She's close, but not close enough. I need her to come.

"Play with your clit, babe. Like when you let me watch. Play with it, and then come for me while I fill your pussy up."

Her hand disappears under her skirt, and as I watch it move, my balls fill to bursting. I'm not going to hold out much longer, but then she's there. She's screaming out my name as she takes my cock as deep as humanly possible. It's what I need. It's all I need, because I'm thrusting so hard I think my cock's going to break off as I spill my cum into her.

I don't stop. Even when I feel like if I keep going, I might pass out, I don't stop coming. She's right there with me, going over the edge again, and it's all I can do to hold onto consciousness.

"What was that? Haring, you have been holding out on me, and I am not okay with that."

"Me? You practically fucked my cock off right now. I'm not even sure how it's still attached to my body."

"I thought there was no more fucking."

"I thought so too, but I don't know what else to call what you did to me."

"I'll kiss yours better if you kiss mine."

"Deal."

We laugh, and kiss while we try to recover from what we did to each other. I may have to permanently reserve this lane, or make it a shrine to Natasha's pussy. No, not a shrine, because no one else needs to know how perfect it is. I'm definitely going to reserve it, though. I don't want anyone else in here, but us.

"I think I can walk now," she tells me, getting to her feet.

"Then my work here is definitely not done," I say as I use my regained strength to pick her up, and bend her over the bench.

"If we ever break up again, I'm keeping your cock in the separation settlement," she says, as I thrust into her.

"Only if I get to keep this pussy."

"We're never breaking up again."

"Never."

# Epilogue

_O ne month later_

Haring

Tonight's a bittersweet night. It's the last formal event Tim Jones is hosting as Vice-President. He has a few months left in office, and I know he's happy to be moving on to his passion project, but I've never known him as anything but a politician. He was a Senator when I met him, and then VP, and even though I've seen him in casual clothes all the time, the memories of him in his suit, representing our country, will always stay with me.

Natasha had her group counseling session at the Foundation last night, so she flew in this morning. I haven't had a chance to see her, as she's been busy being primped and pampered, along with all the other Society women. My sister sent me a text, telling me I'm going to fall flat on my face when I see my woman, and I have no doubt she's right.

"Did you leave any alcohol for me?"

I turn, and have to grab onto the bar for support. Oh yeah, I'm going down tonight, and I don't mean falling to the floor. The femme fatale is back, and damn, she's as gorgeous as ever. Natasha's been mixing up her style, but retro glam is what her body was made for.

Her dress is a sleeveless dark teal velvet, covering her in front from her neck to her feet. The fabric molds to her full breasts, and hips, before flaring out on the bottom. But, it's the sheer fabric peeking at me from where the dress curves in the middle that's making my cock hard. I know without looking that the back dips low, and showcases that sexy ass of hers. Pair all of that with her red curls, and lipstick, and my woman's a fantasy come to life.

"There are no words for how amazing you look."

"Your tux is making my panties disappear."

"They're definitely going to be MIA later."

"I certainly hope so."

I kiss her, knowing I'll be covered in red lipstick, and loving the thought of it. It's become a running joke among our friends, because I'm frequently wearing more of her signature color than she is. Some of the women have suggested she switch to a brand that doesn't come off, but I shot those blasphemous offerings down fast. I love being known as the man Natasha can't keep her mouth off of.

"How was group?"

"Good. I talked a little."

"Babe. You should've told me, so I could be there." I know how hard it is for her to talk about what happened to her, even to me.

"I didn't plan it, and you can't always be there to hold me when the memories make me sad."

"Where else would I be?"

The past month has been amazing. Natasha moved in with me, bringing some of her things with her. We worked with Chloe Griffin on the rest, merging her girly style with my masculine one. Our place is home now, for both of us.

We've also merged our lives together seamlessly. During the week, when I work at C&C, we have lunch together, and on the weekends, she hangs out at the Fun Center with me. It's more than I could've ever hoped for, but still not enough. Which is why I asked Tim if I could steal the spotlight from him tonight, for just a few minutes.

"You two look stunning," Heather Ford says, kissing us both on the cheeks. Aiden's mom is still close to his dad, even though they're divorced.

"Thanks, so do you," Natasha tells her.

"This seems to be where the party is," Tim says, coming over to greet us.

"It's not a party until you start dancing, so the rest of us can too."

"I'd hate to keep everyone waiting to dance," he says, giving me a wink, before grabbing his long-time boyfriend, and making his way to the dance floor.

When the music starts, Natasha turns to me with an eyebrow cocked. Tim asked for them to play a song from her favorite movie, because I requested it. I just smirk at her, and lead her out to dance.

"What are you up to, Haring?"

"This," I tell her, dropping to one knee. She covers her mouth, and nods, when I pull the ring box from my pocket. "I love you, Vixen. I will always love you, and I'll always keep trying to deserve you. Please say yes this time."

"Yes!" she cries, as I slide the ring on her finger. "I love you too, and you deserve me. You do, so I want you to stop talking like that."

"Is that going to be part of your wedding vows?"

"Maybe. Will it be a deal-breaker?"

"Nothing's going to break this deal, Vixen. Nothing, and no one. You're stuck with me."

"Good thing I love you then, huh?"

"The best thing."

We kiss, and I finally register the cheers from our friends, but I have one more surprise for her. My family is in this room, and so is hers. There was no way I could do this without them. I pull away from her, and turn her around.

"Mom? Daddy?"

"Congratulations, Natty. You have a fine young man here," her father says, pulling her into a hug.

We came here to see them a couple of weeks ago, and I visited him yesterday, asking for his permission to marry Natasha. There were some tears from both of us, as we talked about this woman we both love, and he said he couldn't think of anyone better to marry his daughter.

Her mother hugs me. "You take care of our girl."

"I promise."

As Matisse, Aiden, Jake, Isa, and everyone else surround us, I know everything that happened to me is what brought me here. A few months ago, I thought I was losing all that defined me, but I wasn't. This right here is everything I could ever hope for, and more. Family, friends, and most importantly, love.

# Coming Soon

**Look for Sully's book, _Brash Company_ , coming in September!**

# Acknowledgments

**Thanks to my daughters, for loving me no matter how much I annoy you sometimes!**

**Helen Williams, because you always make my covers better than I can even imagine they'll be!**

**My monthly lunch friends, who give me a chance to get out of the house, and have fun talking about writing and life for a couple of hours:**

**Sylvia Day, Rosemary Willhide, Gwyn McNamee, Beverly Preston, Verlene Landon, Sam ND Hunt, Mary Leo, Mareta M. Miller, and Jamie Rae!**

* * *

**And to my readers. I wouldn't be doing this if you weren't reading the books!**

# About the Author

Crystal Perkins has always been a big reader, but she never thought she would write her own book, until she sat down and did it one day. She lives in Las Vegas, where you can find her running author events and selling books at conventions when she isn't reading, buying too many Sherlock t-shirts and LulaRoe leggings, or finding a place to put all of her Pop! figurines. In 2016, she won the Creative Initiatives Award from Romantic Times for encouraging literacy, and also the Community Advocate Award from the Clark County School Librarians Association. A mac and cheese connoisseur, she travels the country looking for the perfect version, while attending book conventions and signings as a cover for her research. The Griffin Brothers, Corrigan & Co., and the Society Girls series are all international best sellers, and she's thankful to the readers who made that happen.

* * *

Find her here:

www.crystalperkinsauthor.com

facebook.com/crystalperkinsauthor

@wondermomlv
