• From pleasuring oneself to a cartoon to
jamming Doritos in one’s eyes, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true
stories from our subreddit about the craziest
things you’ve seen your boyfriend do.
I’m Doopie and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by aliendingo PrincessProton
When PrincessProton went to her now ex-boyfriend’s
house, she ordered a pizza for them to share.
Once the pizza arrived, she went to the front
door to pay for it.
Upon coming back down the stairs, since she
and her ex-boyfriend, Spinalpalm, had been
hanging out in the basement, she found him
on the couch.
He was masturbating to the TV show, “My
Little Pony.”
When Spinalpalm saw PrincessProton standing
in the doorway, watching him, he said, “I
swear I was thinking of you when I was masturbating
to it.”
Even though she thought, “what the fuck?”,
she stayed with him until he broke up with
her around Christmas.
Later, she found out that he had cheated on
her with another woman.
Number 9 was submitted by MadamFoogie Gooby
The strangest thing Gooby ever saw her boyfriend,
Dolan, do was on her birthday.
He didn’t have enough money for a gift,
so Gooby suggested some kinky boudoir play
instead.
Dolan knew that Gooby was a little into sadism,
but didn’t know what would turn her on.
So, after some foreplay, Dolan told her to
close her eyes for her ‘present.’
Gooby heard a lighter click, then there was
a terrible smell.
Curious, Gooby peeked and saw that Dolan had
soaked his pubic hair in lighter fluid and
set it on fire!
There was pure terror in his eyes, but he
still mustered the courage to say, “B-blow
out your candle, baby!
Happy birthday!”
They put out the flames before he got hurt,
and never did anything like that again.
Number 8 was submitted by MelonMayor Andiemations
Andie dated a guy, Adam, for a while after
meeting him through friends.
It started normal, but after a month of the
typical cute couple stuff, Andie noticed that
Adam had a weird addiction to cats.
It got to the point where a few of their dates
were just trips to the humane society.
One night, when they were walking home from
dinner, they came across a dead cat on the
side of the road.
The cat was clearly too far gone to help,
but Adam insisted on taking it home to help
it.
Despite Andie pointing out that it was already
dead, Adam picked it up and wrapped it in
his coat.
She kept some distance between herself and
Adam’s new feline friend for the rest of
the walk home.
They stopped dating soon after.
Number 7 was submitted by BluddyMess Froggy
One day, while Froggy was on Skype with her
boyfriend and a few other friends, they got
into a fun conversation about their favorite
show, “Gravity Falls.”
Out of all of them, Froggy’s boyfriend was
the biggest fan.
At the time, he was relaxing at the computer
with a bag of spicy Doritos.
They were discussing the nature of Bill Cipher’s
mouth-like eye when Froggy’s boyfriend blurted
out, “What’s it like to eat with your
eye?”
Before anyone could say anything, he shoved
a spicy Dorito right into his eye as if his
eyelids were lips.
Needless to say, his eye turned dark pink
and watery while moaning in pain.
It was a moment that made Froggy and her friends
roll their eyes.
As soon as the burning in his eye went away,
he said he was going to give it another try!
Everyone told him not to, and he obeyed.
Froggy and her boyfriend are still together
to this day, even though he continues to do
dumb things.
Number 6 was submitted by IndiaSand Ramona
Back when Ramona was dating her boyfriend,
she had to go to her room to change.
When she entered, she saw her boyfriend watching
the Discovery Channel with his dick hanging
out and holding a pair of her panties.
He whispered, “That animal is the fastest?
Lies… my dick is.”
He went on to say, “I gotta fuck that bitch.”
Ramona asked him what the fuck he was doing.
All he said was that he was getting the condoms
ready.
It turned out that he was planning on breaking
up with her by jizzing on her bed and stealing
her panties.
Number 5 was submitted by Armored-Moon Pandora
A few years back, Pandora and her boyfriend
left a Halloween store with some decorations
for a party she was throwing.
Her boyfriend bought a really creepy, bloody
grim reaper mask and a toy that looked like
a realistic, blood-covered machete.
They decided to go to McDonalds before catching
the light rail home.
While eating, a man came into the restaurant
with a gun and yelled for everyone to get
down, and for the cashier and managers to
empty the registers and safe.
Just when she was about to tell her boyfriend
that they should leave, she saw him calmly
putting his new mask on and then grabbing
the fake machete.
He stood up and walked over to the robber,
pointing the toy right at him.
Pandora’s boyfriend said that he was going
to rob the place first and didn’t like it
when punks invaded his territory, and threatened
to hack the robber up because of it.
At first, Pandora thought the robber was going
to shoot him, but instead put up his hands
and started to cry.
The gun ended up being a plastic airsoft toy.
Her boyfriend started laughing and said that
his machete was a toy, too.
Just then, a bunch of other people tackled
the robber and called the cops.
Pandora yelled at her boyfriend for doing
something so dumb.
Number 4 was submitted by CakeyFakey SacredSnewpee
One time, after Snewpee had an intense argument
with her boyfriend, he shouted, “I wished
I was gay!”
For a while, they stared blankly at one another,
since his outburst had nothing to do with
their argument.
It was only later that Snewpee found out that
her boyfriend did something even crazier.
He posed as her on various social media sites,
wanting to add another girl to the relationship!
Number 3 was submitted by DrDonutz Spincess
Spincess and her boyfriend, Tolop, were getting
ice cream at the local park one day.
All of a sudden, a bird pooped on Tolop’s
head.
He chased after the bird, screaming, “Stupid
bird!
I’ll poop on you!”
Everyone was filming it, and even a few kids
joined in the chase.
Tolop climbed over the fence, and Spincess
didn’t see him for two days.
She saw him again, walking down the sidewalk
near her house.
He was covered in feathers and bird poop.
Tolop also had brown stains on the back of
his pants.
After seeing that, Spincess assumed that he
got his revenge.
Number 2 was submitted by Monkeybreath20 Mimi
One time, when she was 14, Mimi had her boyfriend
over for a visit.
He ended up staying for dinner, and her brother
made some chicken breasts.
When dinner was ready, Mimi and her boyfriend
went to the table.
As soon as the chicken breasts were served,
she quickly realized that the chicken was
still raw.
Her boyfriend, on the other hand, didn’t
care and gobbled it up.
He even reached over and ate Mimi’s!
She was surprised he didn’t end up getting
salmonella.
Number 1 – What was the craziest thing I
ever saw my boyfriend do?
