Both my parents are cops.
Mom retired as an ACP and Dad as a DCP.
I never knew how to react to the word Pandu...
The first words I ever spoke were,
“Please let me go Sir”/ “Jaane do na Saheb!”
Remember, as kids, when we got marks in school?
We all used to get scared, there is no point in lying about it.
You were afraid because you expected swearing or worse.
My fear was….
cause I was reading about “fake encounters” in the news.
I have never had any conversations with my parents…..
only interrogations.
See, when you go out, your parents ask you if you have enough money, is your phone charged--
my dad starts checking my pockets,
see I understand laziness,
ut what level of laziness is this that you think your own son is Pablo Escobar.
See, now I know I am portraying them like villians but that is not the case.
I thought this will be useful sometime.
I am a product of SSC schooling
and none of the kids knew that Corporal Punishment is illegal.
I did.
As a teenager you know that you have an inflated ego, even if you have achieved nothing.
I was throwing chalk at fellow students in the class and the teacher walked in.
She gave me a tight slap in front of everyone.
Now, generally, a kid would apologize.
Not me. Ego.
My reaction was,
“What did you just do? Now see what I do.”
Next day we are in the Principal’s cabin, the Principal, the teacher, me and my parents.
Both in uniform.
The chair was small so they removed their guns and placed them on the table.
I was so happy - it's done dude!
My parents sat silently.
The Principal kept on staring at the gun and my parents.
Finally, my dad looked at the teacher and asked,
“How did you hit my son?”
*teacher petrified*
Only once, I have stopped now.
"How did you hit my son??"
Dad looked at her and then the Principal
and said, “that’s it?
You called me here for this.
Don’t just wear a belt, use it from time to time.”
From that day onwards the Principal used to ask me, “Beta, is everything alright?”
Even now if my parents have a fight I still call my Principal, “Please come and save me.”
See, now the world that we live in is such that we need friends
but sometimes they get on your nerves as well.
I went over to my friend’s place and
he is that sort a fellow, unnecessarily, self-medication,
I don’t agree with it but he does it.
I went to his place and he was watching ‘Justice League’ the movie,
f**k all movie, by the way, don’t watch it,
what a waste.
And while watching the movie he turned to me and asked,
“Gaurav, if batman and shaktimaan have a fight, who would win?”
"What are you smoking?”
But I had stood in the room for 5 minutes, so contact high, a little bit…
but I didn’t like it.
But now, I am invested in this conversation.
Now, I have to answer this question.
So I told him, “Listen, if the fight takes place in America then Batman wins.
Because you have Alfred, Lucius Fox,
if no one else, he can still bank on Superman.
But if the fight takes place in Mumbai then Shaktimaan wins, hands-down. No doubt!
All Shaktimaan has to do is twirl and disappear.
What can Batman do in Mumbai?
Can’t take out that tank of a batmobile, too much traffic,
narrow lanes!
At every turn Robin will have to get down and shout, “Keep going back, keep going back!"
