LOUIS: Those were simpler times I think.
I just feel like...
in a way they were good.
When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering
I'm like maybe we need that
Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides
CONAN: You think that would just bring us back to reality?
LOUIS: Yea, because everything is amazing right now... and nobodys happy.
Like, in my lifetime, the changes in the world have been incredible.
When I was a kid we had a rotary phone, we had a phone that you had to stand next to.
And you had to dial it. CONAN: Yes. LOUIS: Y'know. Do you realize how primitive... you're making sparks...
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS: In a phone... and you actually would hate people that with zeros in their numbers.. cause it was more
Augh this guys got two zeroes. Screw that guy. Why would I wanna.. augh.
And then if they called and you weren't home the phone would just ring lonely by itself.
And then if you wanted money you had to go in you had to go in the bank. For when it was open for like three hours.
You had to stand in line.  Write yourself a cheque like an idiot.
And then when you ran out of money you just go well I can't do anymore things now.
I can't do anymore things. CONAN: That's it. Yea. LOUIS: That was it.
And even if you had a credit card the guy would go augh and bring out this whole shunk shunk
And he'd write... Oh god he'd have to call the President to see if you had any money. And
CONAN: It's all true kids you'd have to call the President. It was ridiculous.
Do you feel that we now in the 21st century we take technology for granted?
LOUIS: Well yes cause now we live in an amazing amazing world and its wasted on the.. on the crappiest generation
of just spoiled idiots that don't care because this is what people are like now. They got their phone and they're like
Ah! It won't turn... Give it a second! It's going to space!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS: Can you give it a second to get back from space? Is the speed of light too slow for you? CONAN: Yea. It's true. Yea.
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
LOUIS: I was on an airplane and there was internet, high speed internet, on the airplane. That's the newest thing that I know exists.
And I'm sitting on the plane and they go open up your laptop, you can go on the internet. And it's fast. And I'm watching YouTube clips.
It's amazing. I'm in an airplane.  And then it breaks down.
And they apologize.  The internets not working.  The guy next to me goes "Pfft, this is bullshit."
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS CK: Like, how quickly the world owes him something
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS CK: He knew existed only ten seconds ago.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
CONAN: Right. Right.
LOUIS CK: And on a plane.
AUDIENCE CHEERS
LOUIS CK: Flying is the worst one because people come back from flights and they tell you their story.
And it's like a horror story.  It's they act like their flight was like a cattle car in the 40s in Germany.
That's how bad they make it sound. They're like "It was the worst day of my life."
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS CK: First of all we didnt board for 20 mins and then we get on the plane and they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes.
We had to sit there. Oh really what happened next? Did you fly through the air incredibly like a bird?
Did you partake in the miracle of human flight? You non contributing zero. That you got to fly.  You're flying.
CONAN LAUGHS
LOUIS CK: It's amazing. Everybody on every plane should just constantly be going Oh My God Wow
CONAN: Yes.  LOUIS CK: You're flying.  You're you're sitting in a chair in the sky.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
CONAN: Yea. Yea. He's right. Now...
AUDIENCE CHEERS
CONAN: Now really. LOUIS CK: But it doesn't go back a lot.  And it and the chair is really...
You know here's the thing people like they say there's delays on flights. Delays.  Really.  New York to California in 5 hours.
That used to take 30 years to do that.  And a bunch of you would die on the way there and have a baby.
You'd be a whole different group of people by the time you got there.  Now you watch a movie and you take a dump and you're home.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
CONAN: There's a nicer way to say it than that but yes. 
FEEDBACK WELCOME. PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.
