So, you failed a test, or
  maybe this entire semester's
just been terrible and you
   feel like the whole thing
has been a failure and now your
life, basically, boils down
to nothing but this.
  (book slams)
Where do you go from there?
Well, that's what I want to
  talk about today, and I feel
like this video boils down,
really, to just two main points.
Number one, failure is
   not the end of the world.
It's not nearly as bad
 as you think it is,
and it happens to
  absolutely everyone.
And, number two, learning
  from that failure, becoming
resilient to it, and re-trying
 in a smarter way, these are
all essential skills to learn.
And, I think failure seems
   so monumental and terrible
because we don't talk about
  it, even though it happens
to everyone, none of us
 wants to be vulnerable enough
to put our failures out
   there, it's uncomfortable.
So, we tend to just project
  our successes and keep
the failures bottled up inside
 and each of us has to deal
with them alone.
So, that's where
I want to start.
I want to put a few of my own
 personal demons and failures
out there to let you know
   that, if you're currently
dealing with a failed test
 or something else, we're both
standing on the exact
 same playing field.
Off just the top of my head,
  I can think of two instances
where I failed exams in college.
There was a physics exam I
   failed during my freshman
year, and then, in my junior
  year, there was a core
part of my major, a computer
 networking class, and I failed
and exam because I was just
  like not paying attention
during that semester.
And, those two failures were
  pretty bad, but they pale
in comparison to something
  that happened in high school
that I have not wanted to talk
 about ever since it happened.
But, I'm gonna put it out
   there because, hopefully
it's useful to you guys.
So, in high school, my senior
 year, I got this really cool
part time job, and I worked
  a lot of part time jobs
in high school, ever since I
 was 14, in fact, but this one
was really cool, which
  makes it all the more worse
that I only was there
 for three months.
And, I was only there for three
months because I got fired.
And not because some politics
 or the economy or whatever,
or like Godzilla was
   about to smash my cubicle.
I got fired because I was
 crappy at my job, and I didn't
respect the position,
 and they fired me,
totally justifiably.
It was like a flat
  on my face failure.
And, I remember walking out
  of the building, I was like,
"That's it, my life is over.
"No one will ever hire me again.
"Why would they hire me?
"I've already violated
 somebody's trust."
And I was like, "Might as
   well give up now, right?"
But, looking back,
  everything was fine.
I still went to college.
I had a lot of part
 time jobs in college.
I did really well
   at all of them.
I even went to a full
time internship and now
I'm running my own business,
  because I learned from
those mistakes.
And with the exams, it
   was the exact same thing.
I learned from my mistakes.
I learned that I wasn't
paying attention.
I had to buckle down.
And that's what those failures
 were, they were just valleys
in this overall, crazy graph,
 trend of our life's progress.
Because, it isn't just this
  linear, nice curve upward.
There's going to be
  peaks and valleys,
successes and failures.
Hopefully, the overall trend
  is upward, but it's really
volatile, so, if you find
yourself in a valley right now,
a failure, that's just
 part of your journey.
You're gonna get out of it.
But, how do you get out of it?
What's the best way to
 potentially get out?
Well, that's what the rest
   of this video is about,
and I really think it boils
down to six steps in a process.
And I want to lay this process
 out for you, but first,
I just got to warn you,
  near the end of this video,
I am going to drill
  into your soul.
Okay, maybe that's a nut
 heavy, but I am gonna say some
words to you that might pull
  you out of your warm little
comfort zone, 'cause I think
  you might need to hear them.
But, let's lay the
   foundation first,
with that six step process.
The first step is to figure
  out, do you need to do
damage control right away?
Is there some sort of reaction
 that the failure warrants,
right away, to make sure
that further bad stuff
doesn't happen?
For instance, maybe you just
  completely skipped a test,
for some reason.
Well, obviously you need
to contact the professor
right away to see if there's
  any way you can make up
a test, because, obviously, it
 wasn't your fault that ninjas
attacked you on your way
to the testing center.
It just happens, like these
 things happen, and hopefully,
your professor will understand.
But, if you have found out
 that there's basically nothing
you need to do right away,
   you just need to kind of
move on, over time, gradually,
 then I think the first
thing to do is to give
 yourself some distance
from the problem.
Like, right away, failures
   seem monumental, they seem
earth crushing, like everything
is bad, and your emotions
are just blaring sirens in
   your brain, and you really
can just, only give
  yourself distance.
There's nothing really
good that's gonna happen
right away, because you need
 to let these emotions subside.
So, sleep on it, or talk with
 a friend, vent a little bit,
or play a stupid video game,
  forget the world, and once
those emotions do go away,
   then that's when logic can
take over and start to do
   some more useful stuff.
And, at that point, what you
  need to do is to figure out
what caused the failure?
Like, when you play a video
  game and you die, you do
retry, but you're also
   trying to figure out like,
"Why did I die?
"Okay this pit was too
far to jump over without
"getting a running start
 first, so now I need to run."
Identifying the points of
failure is critical for retrying
and succeeding.
That's what engineers do and
  that's what you need to do.
So, figure out what was it that
caused me to fail this test.
Was I overwhelmed?
Did I just take too
  hard of a class?
Did I need a tutor?
Or was I just completely
   distracted and unmotivated
to pay attention in class?
Now, once you've figured
  out the problem, once you've
figured out the most likely
  cause, then the next step
is to develop a plan for
   retrying in a smarter way,
adapting, and dealing with
   that point of failure.
You can't just try in the
   exact same way, right?
That's the definition
 of insanity.
So, if you were unmotivated
 to study, then maybe you need
to get a tutor or just an
 accountability buddy, or maybe
you need to say, "I'm not
   gonna study in my dorm,
"I'm going to commit myself
  to going to the library
"three days a week, I'm gonna
 meet with my study buddy,
"and we're going to study
   for at least three hours,
"cumulatively, over the week."
Now you've got that plan.
And step five is to retry, just
like you do in a video game.
And also, the last step,
   be willing to ask for help
if you need it.
I've had some people who've
  asked questions on my videos
in the comments, being like,
  "How do I get help, 'cause
"I'm too embarrassed or
   too scared to ask for help
"in class, 'cause I don't
   want to look stupid."
And, that couldn't be further
 from the truth, asking
for help is showing that you're
smart enough not to accept
ignorance out of pride or
  some fear of embarrassment.
And, now that you've failed
something, you know for a fact,
the writing is on the wall,
that you're not
  above needing help.
So, if people are willing to
 provide assistance, be humble
enough to accept it.
If you're on a sinking
   ship and somebody comes by
in a row boat to save you,
   jump on that row boat.
So, that is the process for
dealing with failure, and to end
this video, I just want
to give you a little bit
of motivation, because to
  be honest, a lot of people,
this is the sad truth, but
  a lot of people just kind of
let life happen to them.
And, a lot of people let
their past decisions,
past bad decisions, past
failures, set the course
for the rest of their lives.
Don't be one of those people.
Very few failures will
   keep you down and prevent
you from retrying
 and building back up.
Most failures, as long as
   you're willing to work,
and willing to analyze what
caused the failure, most of them
are just opportunities for you
 to get smarter, and for you
to adapt, and for you
 to become resilient.
In a speech she gave at Harvard
University, back in 2008,
J. K. Rowling once said that
  "The Knowledge that you have
"emerged wiser and stronger
  from setbacks means that
"you are, ever after, secure
  in your ability to survive."
Failure is not the end,
it's just an opportunity
to gain insight.
So, if you don't like
where your past failures
and past decisions have
 gotten you, then start looking
at what caused those failures
 and retry in a smarter way.
Or, to re-frame that statement,
if you don't like who
you were yesterday, then be
  willing to put some steps
into action today, and
  tomorrow, and the next day,
to start changing that person.
Now, hopefully I
  didn't get too heavy
at the end here, for you,
   and hopefully this video
was helpful to you in some way.
Either way, thank you so much
 for watching, and as always,
I'll see you next week.
(inspirational music)
