Hello! My name is Rohit Pol.
As I have been doing Marathi stand-up comedy
for some time now,
my friends call me
Zakhir Khan of Marathi stand-up comedy.
It is such an odd feeling...
it's like calling veg pulao, Biryani.
Have you tasted Chicken Tandoori with dal?
Absurd things keep happening with you.
See..he imagined it!
Yes...odd things do happen.
So, I thought of trying out something different
and downloaded TikTok on my mobile.
But I couldn't create my account on it
as there were only 2 gender options –
first was 'Female' and second one was 'Others'!
why so impartial with men?
So, I decided to take up some other activity.
I started a Vadapav (a snack) stall with
some of my friends.
One of them used to give Vadapav
to the kids in our area for free.
For free!
When I asked him its reason,
he said,"Those kids don't have money to buy food."
I said, "Kids may not have money,
but their parent do have it!"
Our area isn't a reality show
wherein every kid is from a poor family.
I totally lost it then.
Nobody takes me seriously.
Once I said to Rahul Gandhi, "Bro! listen!
Get married."
He asked me, "Why?"
I said, "After marriage, wife tells us our mistakes
which we can improve on
Mom usually ignores our mistakes
I have been observing since few years that
all the comedians talk about PM Modi.
But I don't talk about him.
We have had a fight.
Is anyone here in a relationship?
Anyone who had a love marriage?
Anyone?
Did you have a love marriage?
For how many years were you in a relationship?
1 year?
And you had a relationship for 5 years. Right?
He was in a relationship for 5 years, is married
and now is enjoying a comedy show!
It is such an ideal case!
In future, I also want to be like him.
Actually, I get tensed up about a relationship.
And I really get tensed up about chatting.
What if my girlfriend remains online
after wishing me "Good night"?
No, it doesn't bother me much.
Her mobile battery is draining.
Why should I bother?
As it is, what would she message me?
Did you have your meal?
I said, "No."
She said, "Don't stay hungry.
If you eat on time, I will also be full."
How is that possible?
How would her hunger be satisfied if I eat properly?
Love and all is understood,
but why to go against the nature?
If we need to apply this theory everywhere,
if I feel like peeing someday, I would ask my friend...
to do the needful on my behalf.
Once she messaged me
that she had bought a dress.
I said, "Okay."
She said, "The dress has pockets also."
I said, "Fine."
She asked, "Aren't you surprised about it?
How come a dress has pockets?"
I told her...
The day they made a zip for ladies jeans, they crossed over.
Why do you feel awe for a dress with pockets?"
Once, she romantically messaged me
in the middle of the night.
"What is my baby doing now?"
How would I know about it?
Shouldn't she be looking after her own kids?
And, first of all, how come
she had a baby when I am here?
This is absurd.
We celebrated my friend's birthday
with a night-out.
We were having a good time.
We were playing a game.
Whoever would lose, he would call-up his girlfriend
and keep the phone on speaker mode.
This is a hell of a punishment.
Satnya lost in the first round.
He called up his girlfriend
and put the phone on speaker.
His girlfriend said,
"Hey, I think Santosh has got to know about us."
He said, "I am Santosh.
and what am I supposed to know?"
Instead of beer, he angrily picked up the bottle of ketchup
and started drinking it.
he said not to intervene it's going to be a messy break-up.
Then we resumed the game.
I lost.
I called up my girlfriend
and put the phone on speaker.
My girlfriend asked,
"What is my baby doing now?"
Santosh said, "Your baby is enjoying Chicken Tandoori
with dal."
I asked him, "Why did you tell it to her?"
I took the mobile and went aside and said,
"Look...it's fine if you know it.
But don't tell it to anyone else.
