
- ALL RIGHT,
Y'ALL GATHER ROUND.

GATHER ROUND.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY
FOR AN AUCTION.
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL,
GET ON UP THERE.
- PUT THAT WHIP DOWN
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH.
- STRAIGHT UP.
I DON'T CARE WHAT PLANTATION
I END UP ON.
I'M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT
IN THIS MOTHER[bleep].
- HELLS YEAH.
- WE HAVE LOT A,
LOT B, AND LOT C.
- UH, $3 ON LOT A.
- $4.
- 5!
- $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD.
LOT A GOES TO THE MAN
IN THE BLACK HAT.
- I MEAN, GOOD.
- YEAH.
- [chuckles] I'M GLAD
I DIDN'T GET SOLD,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE OWNED
BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
- WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER
KILL ME THE FIRST DAY,
OR I'MA GO BUCK-WILD
ON THE WHOLE OPERATION.
- OKAAY?
- NEXT ONE,
GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW.
- OH, THIS--OKAY.
both: [inhale]
- $6 ON LOT A.
- $7!
- EIGHT.
- 9!
- $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD!
both: [exhale]
- OKAY, WELL,
YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE.
- IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
- I MEAN, THAT GUY'S HUGE.
- A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL.
- THAT'S TWO OF ME.
- ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM.
- I'D BUY THAT DUDE.
- MY QUESTION IS
HOW'D THEY CATCH HIM?
- NEXT!
- OKAY. OH, YEAH.
- YEAH.
- $2 ON LOT A.
- $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD.
- SEE, NOW,
THAT SURPRISES ME.
- THAT IS INTERESTING,
TO SAY THE LEAST.
- I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT,
IT'S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR?
- IT'S LIKE
THE WHOLE CRITERIA
SEEMS JUST A LITTLE
INCONSISTENT.
- I MEAN, AT SOME POINT,
I WANT TO BE ON LOT A.
- YEAH, WHICH--
CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A?
- NEXT.
- OH, HERE WE GO.
- HERE WE GO.
- BEEN A PLEASURE.
- GIVE 'EM HELL.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
- $8 ON LOT A.
- GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD!
- HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
- NOPE, NOT TRUE.
- HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?
- WHAT YOU JUST SAID--
THAT'S GOBBLEDYGOOK.
OKAY? THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.
'CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO?
LOOK AT HIM.
WHAT COULD HE PICK?
A COTTON PLANT
IS, LIKE, THIS TALL.
- YES.
- I'M SAY--
NO OFFENSE, BROTHA,
I'M JUST SAYING.
- OFFENSE TAKEN.
- WHA--[gasps]
AM I WRONG? IS HE NOT SHORT?
HE'S SHORT.
BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT
IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD.
- YOU'RE GOOD, MAN.
- ENOUGH.
I WILL NOT HAVE
MY REPUTATION TAINTED,
SELLIN' SUPERFICIAL,
BIGOTED SLAVES.
- SUPERFICIAL? DID THAT REALLY
JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?
- THAT'S IT!
THIS AUCTION'S OVER!
- AUCTION'S OVER?
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
NO, IT'S--IT AIN'T OVER.
IT'S NOT OVER!
I'M STRONG, Y'ALL!
I'M VERY STR--
I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET.
- I'M FAST, I GOT STAMINA,
AND I KNOW MAGIC.
- MY WORST QUALITY
IS THAT I'M A PERFECTIONIST.
- LET ME MEN--
HAVE I MENTIONED THIS? DOCILE.
I AM AGREEABLE
TO A FAULT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE
WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT
WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE.
- NOT A VIOLENT BONE
IN MY BODY.
- I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON,
NO BIG DEAL.
NEVER SEEN A BOAT
IN MY LIFE.
