Why do we have a sit around and debate Nazis?
Why do we have to sit around and have conversations
about why genocide isn't okay?
Why do we have to have conversations about
this shit?
Why can't you just listen to a person of color?
Say That white nationalist rhetoric is violet
and fucking believe it.
[Music]
Hey guys, it's Kat and it's time for another
episode of True Tea!
I wanted to thank you guys so much for joining
me for yet another episode of True Tea.
I really appreciate all the love and support
that I've gotten for this series.
You guys mean so much to me.
The comments, the shares, the conversation
starting that I see on social media.
I really appreciate all of it.
Thank you. So, so, so, so, so very much from the bottom
of my heart.
Now we're going to be having an interesting
conversation in this video and before we get
jumped into it, my voice is a little messed
up.
I'm a little sick.
I don't, I probably shouldn't be making this
video, but I had, you know, passion in my
soul, so I wanted to share it with you guys.
So, yeah.
So anyway, we're gonna jump right into this
video, but before we do, I do suggest you
go to your kitchen and grab yourself a beverage.
Now once again, I am drinking some box wine
because I'm just a rich bitch like that.
I just, I just got it like that.
Like I said, I'm sick, probably shouldn't
be drinking, but you know, at every moment
we're alive we're a moment closer to death.
So let's, why not do it with the finest of
box line?
Anyway...
Oh, so expensive.
Uh!
So I wanted to talk to you guys about something
that has been on my mind.
So I'm currently in the process of writing.
The second part of my white nationalism on
social media, uh, media, um, video essay,
and this is something I wanted to say, but
I don't really feel like fits into my video
essay.
So I wanted to kind of do this video, even
though I've kind of talked about this before,
those of you guys who have followed me for
a minute, you guys have probably already heard
me talk about this.
I want this to be the last time I have this
conversation because this is something that,
um, has been bothering me for a bit and I
really wanted to kind of just discuss it and
have this one video so that you guys know
exactly how I feel.
So here it is.
We're going to be talking about why Breadtube
or Leftube is so white.
Now I know that a lot of people hearing this
are probably going to think that this is going
to be a salty video, right?
Um, and I don't know, maybe there's a little
salt there, you know, maybe there's like a
little bit of a, you know, Pink Himalayan
there.
But honestly, I'm just trying to express how
I feel because in sort of my writing about
white nationalism and also researching, you
know, the youtubers on here who I feel are
reinforcing it or are at the very least pandering
to it, I've kind of had a lot of realizations.
And in my, you know, watching of those videos
that people have where they say, oh my gosh,
I used to, I was almost Alt-Right, but so
and so changed my mind.
It's just kind of made me have a lot of feelings
and a lot of thoughts.
So I wanted to get into that.
So let's another swig of wine before we get
into this cuz I already know y'all are not
going to like this video.
Let another glass of wine.
[Wine pouring sounds]
So, I know this might shock people, but I'm
not, this is something that I wish people
understood about me.
I'm not the sort of person who has ever liked
to be defined by my race, my gender or my
sexuality.
Anything that's not the sort of person that
I am, but that's never really been the sort
of person that I am.
Um, this is a whole other conversation for
another video, but I'm, one of the things
that I recognize on youtube is that I have
been, whether I like it or not, pigeonholed
into being a certain type of person.
You know, I had an interview with a magazine
recently and they wanted to talk about me
being a transgender Youtuber and am I a trans
person on Youtube?
Absolutely.
Do I make videos that occasionally talk about
trans issues?
Absolutely.
But I've in my, you know, at least this video,
this channels existed for about 10 years,
right?
Almost 10 years.
I've been on youtube since I was 15 years
old.
I've uploaded to this channel...
around 1,500 videos.
Most of those videos obviously are not public,
but of those videos, under 400 of them reference
my transness or other people's transness or,
or are about Trans topics, right?
But simply by the virtue of me being one of
the very few transgender people on Youtube
who's been making videos nearly as long as
I have, I am pigeonholed as a transgender
Youtuber.
Right?
Simply by the nature of me being one of the
few black people on Youtube, I am often pigeon
holed as being a black youtuber.
Right.
Um, and, and the thing is, in my life, I've
never really liked to be defined exclusively
by those things.
Not that those things are shameful or things
that I don't claim they are, you know, I love
all aspects of who I am, but at the same time
it's been kind of frustrating for me to be
defined by those things.
Now, why I wanted to have this conversation
was because one of the things I've kind of
recognized, um, about being a person like
myself in this space is that because of my
rarity, because of how often you will not
find people like me, I become this Avatar,
right?
I become this thing for people to project
onto.
Now.
Um, one thing I want to make super, super
clear before we get into this video is that
I absolutely love Leftube.
I absolutely love "Breadtube".
You know, some of these people are people
who I not only consider it to be my personal
friends, but I admire as creators,H Bomber
Guy, Contra points, Olly/ Philosophytube.
Like these are some people who I, oh, I love
their content and I've loved their content
for so long.
And um, I've shared their content.
I've been in board room meetings.
Where I've, you know, introduce their content
to people and I love what they're doing and
I think that what they're doing, it's so incredibly
powerful, is so incredibly valuable.
And my thought process through most of these
things has always been, um, as long as people
who are out there making the work, doing the
work, I support it regardless.
You know, I'm not one of these youtubers who
is driven by how many clicks and views and
money I have.
Some of you who have been following me for
a bit know that I've sabotaged my youtube
channel several times because I just didn't
want any sort of degree of fame or popularity.
That's not why I'm here.
Um, and so I'm happy to see, you know, Vanity
Fair cover Contra Points.
I'm happy to see, you know, all of the media
coverage that Olly is getting.
I think that that's all amazing, right?
My sort of frustration comes with how people
received them versus how they receive me.
Right?
Now.
Going back to what I just said about not wanting
to be defined by the various things that I
can define myself as.
I mean, we're not going to get into my like
growing transhumanist thought process.
That's a whole nother conversation for another
video.
Um, but you know, at the end of the day, um,
I, this is my shell and I love my shell, but
I have to be aware of the fact that my shell
is viewed in certain ways, in certain contexts
by certain people.
And one of the things that's been very aggravating
for me very, very, very, very aggravating
for me is how frequently my narrative is taken,
twisted, recentered and become the truth.
Right?
And it's very hard for me not to notice that
when I don't quite see the same thing happening
to my white counterparts.
Now, if you guys don't understand what I just
said, which I mean, I get it.
I just had a full glass of wine.
So maybe I'm a little tipsy-.
I don't, but um, put this way, right?
One of the things I've had to deal with being
on youtube, right, is the fact that so many
people click onto my videos and without hearing
anything I say have already decided exactly
who I am, have already decided exactly how
I feel about the issue.
They read the title, they look at me and they
know exactly who I am and how I feel.
And it's always been frustrating to me because,
you know, look, there's- I probably shouldn't
be saying this, but
there's very few things that get under my
skin.
Very, very, very, very, very few things that
get under my skin.
But one of the things really does is when
someone just lies about me.
You know, I don't have a problem with my ideas
and my perspectives being, um, put up to muster.
I don't have an idea.
I haven't had an issue with people challenging.
Um, you know, my criticisms- I don't, I don't,
I, you know, I love the fact that Youtube
exists as an open platform for us to all exchange
ideas and we can respond and criticize.
I think that is beautiful.
I think that is amazing.
I think that's what we should be doing on
here.
Right?
But what I've found personally is all too
often, what I say doesn't matter as much as
what a white man has said that I said.
... Now stay with me.
Now, I'm not the sort of person who believes
in white approval.
Okay?
And when I say wide approval, that means that
my work is somehow more valuable because a
white person said that it was right.
I'm not.
Okay?
But one of the things that I definitely have
observed is that people are more willing to
give my my work a chance.
If a white person says that it's okay.
Right?
On the flip side, if a white person says the
opposite, if a white person says that my work
isn't valuable, that doesn't have any merit,
they're willing to believe that as well.
I've been on youtube since I was 15 years
old.
I've got incredibly thick skin.
Y'All have never really known the full depth
of harassment that I've actually experienced.
And when I say, harassment, I don't mean people
disagreeing with me.
I mean harassment, stalking shit that I could
put people in jail for, you know, y'all will
never really know the full extent of that
because I'm not that sort of person who's
going to sit online and bitch and moan about
it all day long.
Um, but I've experienced a lot of shit and
what a lot of people don't get is that I was
one of the first people to make this type
of content.
Okay.
Who had the audacity to stand up and say,
I'm a feminist, and put that out there and
take the abuse.
Right.
I'm not saying be thankful, not saying any
of that, but I'm saying that I set a lot of
the foundation for a lot of the work that
you guys love right now.
But what's frustrating to me is that people
don't believe what I'm saying.
Like- I'll just be specific.
I got really sidetracked.
But basically I'm saying is that I'm not really
bothered by a lot of the shit.
It's just I wish people would listen to what
I was saying.
Right.
Let me give you an example.
Let me take another swig of wine even though
I don't need it.
So Andy Warski- we're naming names in this
video, right?
Years ago, Andy Warski made a video responding
to a video that I made about the Irish slave
conversation.
Now, that video that I made is privated because
I didn't have all of the, I mean, not that
a lot of things I said were wrong in that
video, but there were aspects of it that were
wrong because I didn't have all the information.
So that's privated now.
But in the video, I basically answered the
question about Irish slaves that I talked
about how some of the Irish who came over
to America came over as indentured servants.
Because a lot of times we talk about Chattel
slavery, right?
People like to get into this whole, well,
what about the Irish conversation?
Right?
And the Irish definitely experienced a lot
of stuff.
You know, like, we're not going to get into
all this stuff because it's not a history
video.
But the Irish definitely dealt with a lot
of things, right?
But my position has always been that it's
different.
It's very, very, very, very, very different
than what chattel slavery is.
Now for those people who have not actually
studied this stuff.
I understand how people can look at like the
very shallow read of it and say, Oh, black
slavery and then Irish, you know, slavery,
right?
Um, I see how people can look at that and
be like, oh my gosh, you know, these are the
same things, but it's not, you know, if you
were a black slave, your children were slaves
for generations upon generations upon generations.
That's what Chattel slavery is, right?
When you come over to America under indentured
servitude, it's a completely different type
of slavery.
And I'm not saying that, I never even said
that it was better or worse.
I said it was different.
But what becomes the, what becomes a truth,
right?
Andy Warski makes a video talking about how
I said that, you know, it's not, basically
what he said was that I believe that white
slavery is not as bad as black slavery, right?
It's not what I said at all.
But that's what becomes the truth.
And now I, I continuously get comments on
my videos that are like, oh, Kat Blaque thinks
that white slaves aren't that bad- Which is
not what I said.
Right?
But that becomes a truth and it's really aggravating
for me to kind of have this kind of repeated
experience of me saying something very clearly
and very concisely and it's very intentionally
misrepresented.
And then I'm now being held accountable for
that misunderstanding of what I said so clearly.
You know?
I've made, I made a video, I made a video
about, um, whether or not it's transphobic
to not be attracted to a trans person.
You know, now I understand that a lot of,
to a lot of people watching these videos who
are unaware of trans life or even look at
me like you might think, oh, look at this,
look at this Kat Blaque person.
You know, she's like ugly or whatever.
Right?
I get how you can say that, you know?
But like, I'm cute.
You know?
Like, so, so it's like, I don't know, I've
never had a struggle with dating and so I
have a hard time.
I a really hard time equating rejection to
transphobia.
That's always been how I felt consistently
throughout every time I've ever said something.
Then this white guy makes a video about how
I think that it's transphobic to reject the
Trans Person.
I think it's titled something like Kat Blaque
Doesn't Understand Attraction.
Right?
And it's so frustrating because in the actual
video that I made, I said, hey, I don't think
that rejecting a trans person is transphobic,
but when a white man gets to come over and
gets to, you know- When a white man, it comes
over and corrects it and rephrases it and
says something different and edits what I
say that suddenly becomes the truth.
And that's very frustrating to me because,
well, that's not what I said!
And here's my thing.
I have no problem with people criticizing
me.
I have no problem with people critiquing my
points.
But I find that all too often, instead of
actually engaging with my content, people
say, okay, she's black.
Okay, she's trans.
I've had arguments with a black person.
I've had arguments with a trans person.
Let me pull from my pre established arguments.
Right?
Let me pull for my pre determined, pre...
You know what I mean?
Let me pull for my, my, my already my arsenal
of arguments that aren't already my own.
Like I saw some other guy make this argument,
but I'm going to repeat the argument, like
let me pull from that arsenal and throw it
onto her.
And it's so frustrating because you could
just engage with my work.
You could just actually critique my, my perspectives,
but you never do.
And that's what's so frustrating because I
would love to be able to engage with criticism
of my work.
But all too often criticism of my work is
not criticism of my work.
It's criticism of what people assume my work
is.
...I had a Win burp- Wow.
This is not a very flattering video.
But here's the thing.
Okay, so going back to the whole left tube
thing, I love those.
I love all those people, but I can't help
but notice that when people criticize them,
they actually engage with what they're saying.
And for me it's been very maddening to sort
of have this sort of thing where, you know,
because here's the thing, you know?
Um, I've been here long enough to have seen
again, a lot of bullshit thrown at at me.
And
The Times that I've tried to engage with criticism
of my work, it's been a lot of just straight
up disrespect, you know?
And I know that this might be confusing to
some people, but I don't give a fuck if you
don't think I'm cute.
I don't give a fuck if you think I look like
a man?
I don't give a fuck if you think.....
I don't give a fuck, I really don't care.
I know that when you say you don't care, it
sounds like you care.
But I really don't care.
I would rather you just criticize my thoughts.
You know?
This is what's really frustrating about my
work- this is a whole nother video too.
My work is not about what I look like.
It's not about any of this.
It's not about any of this.
It's about this.
Okay?
It's about this.
And it's frustrating to me that when I look
into criticism of my work, it's never, oh
well she said this, this and this and this-
This is my response.
It's often, well, she's like this cutoff,
conveniently insert your own version of what
I said and you're going to criticize this
strawman and now I'm supposed to answer to
it.
I mean, perfect example of it.
It's like people think I hate white people.
You know, and that's such an annoying thing
for me because it's so funny cause I feel
like there, there's a side of the Internet
that thinks that I hate white people.
Then there's a side of the Internet thinks
that I'm too nice to white people.
Right.
I'm so patient with white people.
I've got a, I got fucking a Smith CD...CD-
vinyl up here.
You know, Morrisey he's a fucking racist.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm so patient with white people, I'm
so forgiving to white people.
But people really do take and run with this
idea of that like I'm just this like anti
white motherfucker.
And then there's these pro black people who
think that I'm not, you know, I'm not enough
of that sort of person and I'm just not, the
thing you think to understand about me thing,
understand about me is that I am a very, I'm
a Virgo.
Okay.
I'm very, I know that this is not, it's so
funny I say I'm a Virgo, but I'm definitely
not a, um, I don't believe in astrology, but
like I'm such a mediator.
Okay.
And I really often do find myself.
I always like to, not that the in between
is true.
I'm not, I'm not into centrism let's not even
do that.
But I often just try to find, I like to listen
to both sides.
I like to consider both arguments.
I like to consider both things and then try
to sort of see what makes the most sense to
me.
Do you know what I mean?
And so often I am often trying to reason with
one side and also the other.
And so I'm not the sort of, so a lot of people,
so here's the thing, I guess this makes me
very liberal in my politics to be honest with
you guys, you know, I'm not quite a leftist,
even though leftist ideas sound more and more
seductive to me as time goes on, you know,
I have the frustration of people who say,
oh my gosh, you know, Kat, you're not going
far enough.
You know?
But then I also have the frustration of people
who by the virtue of me being an openly trans
black woman, think that I am just the most
radical thing in the world.
And it's really frustrating because I'm not,
you know, and I don't need for you to agree
with that, but it's really upsetting to consistently
engage with criticisms of your work that do
not at all describe what you're saying.
Right,
okay.
It's very aggravating.
And then to see your white colleagues just
be treated with such respect and consideration,
have their, have their work actually listened
to, it's very aggravating.
It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very aggravating.
And I want to make it clear, it's not the
fault of my white colleagues.
Again, I think their work is amazing.
I love, I mean, I, I love H Bomber guy's,
content.
I love his content so much.
You know, I love his whole thing.
I've always loved his whole thing I love,
I love those people so much.
Lindsey is like, me and her were like wine
moms together.
Like she's great.
Like I love all of these people.
They're so amazing and deserve every bit of
every bit of what they have.
It's also very hard for me to observe how
they, how their thoughts are considered, but
mine aren't.
You know Um, I just get to be the black avatar
that people tear down.
I just get to be the angry black woman that
people dismiss.
Right?
And like one of the examples, I'll give you
an example of this, right?
If you get a chance, watch my video that I
made about blue lives matter, right?
And in that video, I am the most patient,
borderline cop apologist person you could
ever think of.
Like, you know, the cause of the blue lives
matter video that I made was about this law
that was trying to be passed in Louisiana
that was trying to qualify cops as the possible,
uh, um, possible recipients.
I was trying to find that word....you can
tell I'm a little drunk- of hate crimes.
Right?
That's where I, that's why I was talking about
right.
And I kind of talked about how being black
is an inherent quality.
Being a cop is a job.
These are not, it's not hate crime.
You know what I mean?
Um, it's just not the same thing.
Not that that violence against cops is okay.
I don't agree with that at all, but it's just
not the same thing.
Now I remember the, where the comments rolled
in, you would have believed, I would have
believed that I, I basically made a video
that said, fuck all the cops.
Fuck cops.
Cops deserved to die, ACAB.
You know, you, you would think that that's
what I said.
But what I actually said was, hey guys, I
think cops are kind of okay.
I'm not distinctly anti cop, but I don't think
that you should, that cop should qualify for
hate crimes because being a cop is not a inherent
quality.
It's a profession.
Right.
But you went by the, by the comments, you
believe that I just said fuck the police.
And I remember when I was looking at that
the comments in that video I felt so much
self doubt.
I felt so much self doubt where I was just
like, oh I must've said something really bad
because the comments were really bad and the
downvotes really bad.
But I watched the video back and I was like,
honestly this is a really good fucking video.
Like you did a really good job with this.
You know what I mean?
Like that's what, that's the conclusion that
I came to.
It was like you actually did a great video.
It was a great video.
You know, cause I sit there for hours and
I research and I research and I research and
I try really hard to make sure that like what
I'm saying is correct and what I'm saying
is, is not wrong and not is sourced all that-
I mean I put so much effort into that and
it's so frustrating because what I observe
is a white person could just come and be like,
no.
And that is trusted more than my research,
more than all the work that I put in.
And it's very, very, very frustrating.
Now I'm ranting a little bit and I was trying
to make this video a little bit more together,
but you know, girl, we've have some box wine
here and we're having a good time.
But I wanted to make this point, this was
an important point.
So in my first part of my rebranding of white
nationalism video, I use a video by the username
Faraday speaks, which actually I think is
a really great video.
I think it's a really, really great video.
Um, but his video kind of pointed out something
to me, his video, it made me realize something.
I think it was a really insightful video.
Um, in his video, he talks about Contra Points
and he talks about how when he first clicked
on one of Natalie's videos, he was initially
turned off by her because she was a trans
woman.
Right?
Um, and, but he stuck with it and suddenly,
you know, kind of start, started to see the
error of his ways.
And it really started to make me think about
how people click on my videos now.
You guys see me right now.
Okay.
Like, this is me.
This is like the real me.
This is me in my final form.
Okay.
Like a lot of you guys are so used to seeing
me going like, hey guys, this Kat dah dah
dah dah dah oh my God, Oh my God, you're so
used to me- like seeing me trying to be such
a, you know, cutesy, wootsy, butootsy sort
of person -Especially if you started following
me a couple of years ago when I was in a relationship
and it was like very invested in maintaining
this like super vanilla image.
Right?
You're so used to seeing that version of me.
Right?Okay.
Um, and I'm just being myself now so I can
be be who I am.
But it made me think a lot about how much
I tried so hard to be this digestible person,
but how much that didn't work.
Because at the end of the day, I'm still black
and transgender.
And to reinforce this point that I made at
the very beginning of this video, I am not
the sort of person who likes to look at my
race and my gender or anything as things that
define me and therefore hold me back.
That's not who I am as a person, but I have
to be aware of the fact that there's a reason
why ContraPoints, and PhilosophyTube and Lindsey
and, and all these other BreadTube/ LeftTube
people are doing so well and just happen to
just happen to be white.
And it's because regardless of how nice, I
may seem, how positive, I may present my image
how, how politely I may dress, what I say
I'm a black girl.
And for some people that will always be too
much.
And this leads me to what I really wanted
to talk about in my white nationalism video.
I'll be really transparent with you guys.
The first part of that white nationalists
video, it was really hard for me to make this
really, really hard for me to make.
And it was hard for me to make because I think
when you're a black person you understand
racism.
Yeah.
Well you already said that racism exists rather,
you know, like my father when I was younger
told me a story of how his grandfather was
a sharecropper and one day a white man came
over, whip them off of his horse and killed
him.
And that was just part of our history.
You know, racism was just part of our history,
right?
We know that it exists and we're aware of
how bad it is.
Do you know, um, and what I s and the reason
why I'm pointing that out is because I've
noticed, cause a cy- there's a cycle here.
You know, there's sort of the cyclical issue
right here then about to point out, right?
As a person of color, right.
I say to people who support anti racism or
fight for anti-racism that they should stand
up and stand, you know, stand up and stand
up against racism.
Right?
Um, but at the other hands it's been hard
for me to accept that....Okay.
A lot of white people will only believe that
racism exists if a white person tells them
it does.
Do you understand what I mean?
When I was listening to a lot of these white
nationalists- cause it's not that I haven't
heard this stuff.
I've researched this stuff.
Okay, this is not shit that's new to me.
But listening to white supremacists after
white supremacists, after white supremacists
basically argue that black people are genetically
inferior, that people of color at large deserve
to be shipped off to different labs at they're,
they're a completely foreign to them, right?
Because of the superiority of the white race.
And that's just how it is.
It's very hurt.
It's very hurtful.
Very, very, very, very, very hurtful.
And so it's hard for me sometimes to engage
with that content because I already know about
it.
I already know, I'm already aware of it.
It's not new to me.
Right?
But it's hard to hear.
It's very hard to hear.
And what I've come to understand is that white
people can engage in that content a little
bit more freely than I can.
You know, white people can...
They have the ability to listen to another
white person say something heinously racist
and not have it affect them in the way that
it affects me.
Right.
And the reason I'm pointing that out is because
I know that in part that's why these people,
these, these...Leftube in general makes content
that is so successful and so good because
people are willing to listen to them.
But what hurts me is knowing that me saying,
Hey, guess what?
These white racists trying to fucking hurt
me.
And people like me, that's fucked up...
To know that that is not enough...
Is incredibly hurtful.
It's incredibly hurtful to know that a person
of color just saying, hey, this shit sucks.
That's not enough, is incredibly hurtful.
You know, Faraday peaks, needed a white woman
to tell him that racism was real before he
believed that it was.
When White men were telling him that the white
race was the best, that the white race deserved
to- speak, you know, to, to secure itself.
You know, we, we, we to secure a future for
the white children and all that.
You know, it was oh so believable, but it's
not enough for me as a black person to say
racism fucking sucks.
And one of the things that he says is that
whatever he would have been, whenever he engaged
with a person of color, he would just dismiss,
can we just be dismiss rather as a racist.
And what he was dismissed as a racist that
made him feel more connected to the shitty
ideas that he held that made him double down.
Not sort of walk away and say, Oh, well maybe
these ideas are messed up.
And it's really hurtful for me to understand
that for many white people, they'll never
actually be against racism unless it's a thing
that white people tell them they should be
against.
You know, and it's a hard thing for me to
swallow.
You know, again, I don't like blaming anything
on my race, my gender, my anything.
But I can't ignore how much I am dismissed
in comparison to my white counterparts because
of my race and my gender.
I don't want that to be the case.
But it is.
It is.
Because even if I, you know, cause some people
will say, well, it's the quality of your content.
You know, your mic is bad, your camera's bad.
You look weird.
Like why would I listen to you?
A lot of people will say that, right?
But why isn't it enough for me to say through
a tin can, "Hey!
White Nationalism fucking sucks" for you to
actually believe it?
Why do we have a sit around and debate Nazis?
Why do we have to sit around and have conversations
about why genocide isn't okay ? Why do we
have to have conversations about this shit?
Why can't you just listen to a person of color
say that white nationalist rhetoric is violent
and fucking believe it?
Why?
Why?
Why do you need a white person to sit there
and debate with a white nationalist before
you decide that white nationalism is wrong?
Why?
Why?
And it's hurtful to have that knowledge.
It's hurtful to have that awareness.
It's hurtful to be so intimately aware that
regardless of of of the terror that you feel
when you engage with this shit.
It doesn't matter until a white person gives
a fuck.
And that's the cycle that I talk about because
we had one hand say allies should help us.
Allies should speak, speak for us when we're
not there.
But at the other hand, it's not enough if
we say we're scared.
And it should be.
It should be enough to you to, to hear a person
say, you know what?
This white nationalist shit scares the shit
out of me.
It should be enough for you to say, you know
what?
I'm going to take a stand against it.
You shouldn't need a white person to tell
you that being shitty to a person, the color
is wrong.
You shouldn't need that.
And...
I don't want to ruin my series.
I mean, because the reality is, is that it
doesn't mean, look, I'm not going to down
my own work.
I do great work.
I like my work, whatever, but I know that
it's ever going to be as successful as my
white counterparts.
And that's cool.
Right?
But I'll just ruin it for you guys and say
that one of the things that's getting to me
is just how dire this is.
Because spoiler alert, they're not doing anything
to fight against white nationalism.
They're not, Youtube is not doing anything.
It's a fight against white nationalism period.
Period.
And it is really scary for me to understand
that me saying this is scary is not enough.
Me saying this is racist is not enough.
I understand.
I get Faraday's perspective where...
a person just calling you a racist isn't going
to help you.
Um, change your mind.
It's not going to help you see things clearer.
It's not going to, I get it.
I get it.
Yeah.
Because sometimes when people get called a
racist they get defensive, right?
But why isn't it enough for a person to say
that's racism and that be it?
Why isn't it enough?
You know?
I think part of my frustration, even though
I support these conversations is the fact
that these people go back and forth and back
and forth and we have debates with white nationalists.
We have debates with Nazis.
We try to, we try to find common ground.
We try- and it's like,
Do you think these people give a fuck about
your right to freedom of speech?
Do you think these people give a fuck about
your right to freedom of speech?
Do you genuinely believe that if a white nationalist
got their way that they're going to be on
the front lines fighting for your freedom
of speech?
If you do, you're a fool.
If you do, you're a fucking fool.
And that's what maddens- That's what makes
me so annoyed about this shit is this intimate
understanding of the fact that my voice, if
these people get what they want, doesn't matter.
It barely matters now, but it's definitely
not going to matter if somehow some way these
people get what they want, and I'm not saying
this to be like, oh my gosh, you know, I don't
like to overthink shit or think that things
can happen, but the conversation that I had
at Youtube HQ made me recognize, Oh, okay,
we're really not going to be doing anything
about this are we?
Or rather we'll do some stuff.
We'll do things here and there.
You know, we'll do something, but we're not
going to stop it.
No, we're not going to stop it in its tracks.
We're gonna pontificate and we're going to
debate.
We're going to have those, you know, all these
conversations, but at the end of the day,
we're not gonna stop it because here's the
thing.
I hear white nationalist rhetoric and I think
it is inherently violent.
Inherently.
I'm going to do a whole video really dissecting
all of these, all of these white nationalist
ideas and their history and Dah, Dah, Dah,
Dah, and a very polite way as I usually do,
but their rhetoric is inherently violent and
I know that a lot of people hearing it on
the surface don't hear that, but it is inherently
violent, inherently violent, and I know that
some, sometimes the ways in which these left
tubers, these white left tubers gain success.
I know that they gained success because they
were willing to engage with it and you know
that's effective and again, nothing against
them.
I think it's amazing that they do it.
I think it's necessary work.
I guess it just upsets me that it is necessary
work.
It frustrates me that it's necessary work.
It frustrates me that a person of color can't
just say, this shit sucks and it's racist
and that's respected.
It really, it gets to me, it gets to me that
that's not enough.
It really truly gets to me that it's not,
it's that's not enough.
We've, we have to have white person stand
up for us before we're believed.
And one of the reasons why I feel that way
is because, you know, like, um, I'll just
name names cause why, who cares?
Oh, this is, I don't, okay.
So I am very aware of what my politics are.
You guys maybe are less aware of because I've
been very vague about what my politics are,
but I know that my politics are not what a
lot of people assume that they are.
Right.
Okay.
I remember when Stef Sanjati took a photo
with me at vidcon.
Love Stef Sanjati she's awesome.
Um, so many pe- and Stef is more, in some
ways more outspoken than I am.
I mean, even though I have a very political
platform and she doesn't in some ways, she's
more outspoken than I am.
And it was really interesting to see when
she posted that photo, all of her white followers
suddenly started to say, oh, Kat Blaque.
She feels this way, this way, this way, and
this way.
And I really fuck with her because she said
to her followers, if you disagree with Kat,
you disagree with me.
You know?
And it's weird because Stef probably has more,
I mean, I don't want to speak for her, but
my po- I'm so, I'm so forgiving.
I'm not as, I'm not a very cut people off
sort of person, you know?
And Stef is a little bit more like that and
a lot of the white people I really fuck with
are really more like that to be honest because
I'm too, I'm too forgiving them too polite,
you know?
Um, to my own detriment more often than not.
And it's very, it was very interesting for
people to me, for me to observe how people
reacted to her versus reacting to me even
though we have similar perspectives.
Anyway, I'm really ranting and I just, again,
I want to say I really can't even stress this
enough.
Contra, Olly.
I mean-- ugh
your work is, I mean Lindsey, Jenny or your
guy's work is so amazing.
H Bomberguy,/Harris, Your guys are- I love
your work so much.
I love it so much.
So, so much.
It's just frustrating to me how often my work
is dismissed and minimized because of who
I am.
Um, and I would say because of how I feel
or how I present my image, if that were true,
I would, I would say that I was, oh cause
I'm too aggressive or I'm to mean and I'm
too angry if that were true.
But like going back to my blue lives matter
video, I watched back that they do.
I'm like, I'm so nice, I'm so polite, but
that doesn't matter.
And that's what I'm reacting to.
The fact that I have been the angry blacks
avatar for so many people's work for so many
people stuff I've been the angry black avatar
and what's true doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that I don't hate all white
people.
It doesn't matter that I don't hate all CIS
people.
It doesn't matter that I don't hate all men.
That's what, that's what, that's a story that
they can sell.
Okay,
that's convenient.
And you guys believe it for some reason or
another.
Okay.
It's very frustrating.
So anyway, I've got to go.
I'm definitely drunk and this was probably-
This is going to be very interesting video
for me to edit cause I'm probably all over
the place! anyway thank you guys, so much
for joining me for this video.
I would love to hear what you guys have to
say.
I would really love to know if you guys have
observed the same sort of thing as I have
Leftube is very white and I think that's for
a reason.
I mean Leftube genera- I mean honestly Leftube
was not different from any other vertical
on youtube.
Youtube in general is very white.
Youtube in general will always probably prioritize
white voices over the voices of people of
color and that sucks, especially in a conversation
like white nationalism where the people who
suffer the most are not white people.
And it's a complicated thing because at the
end of the day, I do believe that white people
need to stick up because they're not going
to listen to us, they're not going to listen
to us.
So I hope that what I said in this video doesn't
make white people feel like they can't stand
up.
It's a little frustrating to me that that
me saying, Hey, I'm scared isn't enough.
But at the same time, I don't want white people
to stop talking because I think that's very
important.
So anyway, I'm going to go and danse and pretend
that we're not living in this terrible world.
So I'll talk to you guys later.
Right now you are seeing two awesome videos
that you guys can watch.
You'd like to continue to listen to.
True Tea I promise I am not this drunk in
most of my videos, so hopefully you guys will
stick along with me on this channel and continue
to watch and learn, share and grow with me
right here on my shell.
I would talk to you guys later.
