You have to be the most patient
human being on earth
to have a special needs child.
Each one of the kids has 
some deficit in learning.
Some of the kids have
severe ADHD.
Some of them have real
true Autism.
Each one of my kids has a
little taste of something.
Dad I'm a teenager and I don't 
want to get looked at by you.
And both of Matt's children
are on the Spectrum.
We have all admitted that.
When I met Matt I had four kids
and he had two.
The first month we were together
that somebody said,
"You guys are the Brady
Bunch of Autism."
And that stuck...
it really stuck.
We're here in San Fernando Valley
which is centrally located
for all of our kids.
This year we have six children in
six different schools.
But we have black mold and 
so we have to relocate.
Our issue that's really been
a complicated one
is finding a house that can
accommodate a family of eight
and still be reasonably affordable.
Will do you have a jacket?
Yeah in my room I
have a leather one.
I look like an actual man in this.
We're missing the two bigger boys
this weekend.
And Jake might be in town
this afternoon we're hoping.
But Max is in Sacramento 
with his debate team.
On top of our move 
that's going on
my mum had a stroke
four days ago.
I've been going back and
forward to Orange County.
So I'm living on pure
crack right now.
I'm kidding about that.
That's why we're moving
right there.
Yeah we have black mold.
There was a deep crease and
we saw black underneath it.
You could tell the crease
was really deep.
And it's just gotten
worse and worse.
A long term affect of the mold
is swollen glands.
It's hard to be an effective mum
when you're tired all the time.
I couldn't imagine anything could
be more stressful than last year
with my dad passing but this
has really topped it.
Time is not on our side so we
are really rushing this move.
There are different levels and
we have one of each.
There are many beautiful things
about Autism.
Many beautiful, wonderful and
gorgeous things about Autism.
But the very stark reality is that it's 
going to put some massive hurdles
in front of the develop of your child.
And that's something that
is not beautiful.
(Will) I don't like when people
just stare at me.
When there's a diagnosis you mourn
what your dreams were.
There are certain dreams that
you have for Eddy.
And certain dreams that 
we had for Will.
For Wolf there are dreams we have.
You have to mourn your preconceived
desires for your own child.
Then morph it into pushing them in the 
areas of where they want to be.
My life was fundamentally changed
when Will was diagnosed.
This is kind of personal you guys
but I have a crush.
Her name's Isabella and
she's in 8th grade.
She likes me.
She comes up to give me a hug.
I'm fine with it.
Dad please stop staring at me
it creeps me out.
I love you and I'm enjoying
hearing this.
No!
(Matt) There is something beautiful
about the individual with Autism.
They're unique souls that often have 
insights into the world where we live.
It's incredible.
I love sitting and talking with them
and interacting with them.
I think I might have a little
bit of it myself.
(Matt) Are you a gentleman with her?
(Will) Yeah Dad why do you care?
(Matt) Because you're my son and 
I want you to be a gentleman.
I hold the door open for ladies
that's a gentleman.
I help Nana out of the car
that's a gentleman.
(Matt) There's just a world in there that 
I want to access and be a part of.
I can be a ballerina want to watch?
I can do a 360 turn.
Sometimes it can get hectic
and I try to ignore the drama of...
"We should get this house."
"No we should get this house."
Blah blah blah...
I cover my ears and forget about it.
A person who has high functioning
Autism is called Asperger's right?
(Matt) I think now Autism is the
all encompassing thing.
Wolf will tell people to their face,
"Oh I have Autism."
He's what would have classically
been labelled Asperger's
when they were labelling
people with Asperger's.
I've been trying to get straight A's
every single year in school.
And so far I've done well at that.
Even though last term I got
all A's except a B+.
(Navah) I know what his 
issues are already.
Cognitively Wolfy is off the charts.
There are a lot of things
that I struggle with.
One thing is a lot of times I can get 
extremely frustrated to the point
where I will stand up, flip over, 
turn and walk out of the classroom.
We don't want to leave this 
hair dye on much longer.
Let's leave it on for
another ten minutes.
I found out about hair dying
and it's really cool.
I've seen it on You Tube and
people do a video
of dying their hair blue, red,
purple or green.
And I thought I want to try that.
I see myself as I wouldn't
say the popular kid.
Being popular is not 
really what I want.
I just want to be respected.
And have someone to turn to
if I'm feeling down or struggling.
I have lots of responsibilities
being the older sister.
I'm always forced to stay
in during the weekends
and have to watch Eddy
or something.
(Navah) Okay everyone stay
with Avivah she's in charge.
I can see the stress of having kids in 
our family with slight disabilities.
It does put the pressure on with
having to find schools,
extra help and having to tend 
to their food needs.
It's tough but I know Matt and my 
mum's love is stronger than that.
I feel that even though they 
have such hardships
it will improve their relationship in 
the end and make them stronger.
Eddy put your toe in between
here, no, no, there we're good.
The slight chance of me having
a child with Autism
I feel that I will definitely 
love them the same
as any other child I would have.
It's scary the fact that your child could
be a little different from everyone else.
But in the end we're all a little
bit different than each other
and so I feel I will just love them 
as much as anyone else, I guess.
(Eddy) That is not cool.
(Avivah) I'm not trying to be cool.
(Edwin) Is it hot?
(Navah) Yeah jump in.
(Edwin) I love being in the pool.
(Navah) I know you love being in
the pool it's your favourite thing.
Eddy he can be in the pool 
all the year round.
Even if it's 30 degrees out, he will 
be in the pool with a wetsuit on.
Thankfully Grandpa Ed lives
only a few miles away
so we are in his pool 1-2 times
a week thankfully.
Eddy has a very common condition,
he has no cap for fullness.
So he could eat a huge 
meal and then he'd say...
"I'm hungry," or "What are
we going to eat next?"
He's seven years old and 
he weighs 120 pounds.
He's a big guy.
Can you get me a cookie?
(Navah) I know you want
many cookies Eddy.
First do some more exercise before 
you get your next cookie.
(Navah) I was the parent that if
my child started crying
I would pick him up and
leave the room
I was polite and I wouldn't
allow my kid to be a brat.
But this isn't being a brat.
And anything can trigger them.
I'd take him into the grocery store
and I didn't realize that...
fluorescent lights are a trigger 
for a lot of Autistic kids.
And because of these tantrums I was
terrified to take him alone into the store.
Eventually as I became more confident 
and started to work with Autism Speaks.
It's funny, Matt was hired
to Autism Speaks
the month before Edwin was diagnosed.
My brother who had been friends
with Matt for decades
he said to me, "Call my friend Matt,
he's just been hired to this
wonderful organisation
I know he can help you and
give you advice."
The first thing Matt said to me was,
"Join a mum's support group,
talk to these mums who
can give you advice."
He said, "I don't really know how to give you advice that these mums can."
"I'll just tell you that you're going through
the hardest time in your journey
and it is going to get better."
One of the hardest issues that
special needs parents have
is finding a good support system
and a good team.
For me is was very difficult, I'm
absolutely a Jewish paranoid mum
and to really trust somebody
with my child.
We've been blessed with this
wonderful friend of ours
I use to work with him and
he's really qualified.
But we need two of him.
(Will) Look at this
that's hard.
Let's take a look okay.
I come in and work with Will
helping out with homework
and getting to and from places.
One thing I do is support the family. 
It's fun.
Will has grown about three feet 
since I met him (laughs).
I work with Eddy as well,
and hang out with them.
The main focus is helping Will
with his homework.
Mike is excellent for Will.
In the next month I'm supposed to
be working full time again.
So now we're down to the wire of
looking for somebody for Eddy
because Mike is starting to work more
and he won't have as much time.
Not only is he not going
to relocate us
but we have to pay for 
the month of March
even though we are
not going to be here.
Or else we have to be vacated
by three days from now.
I don't want the kids to
see this though.
They did say that was
the next step so c'est la vie.
What I didn't agree 
with my parents
is that dad would say, "Okay
we're having a family meeting."
He'd get all us kids together and tell us
exactly the gravity of our situation.
And literally my anxiety started then.
"The sun is up the surf is up
and so is the Paskowitz family."
"Today as everyday they
are going surfing."
My mum had eight brothers and I
and the majority of our life
was spent in a caravan going
around the United States.
"Mr Paskowitz is a 58 year old doctor
and a graduate of Stanford
Medical School
who one decided to give it all
up close his medical practice,
take his children out of school
and spend the rest of his life
travelling with his family
in a tiny camper
from one wave to another."
My dad was a very chauvinistic...
...very ego centric guy.
And he expected my mum
to be very subservient and quiet
and not speak back to him.
And I was the polar opposite of that.
They use to call me the
"Angry Indian."
When I was about 13 my mum
contracted a serious illness.
80% of people who contracted 
this illness died.
And so my dad said to us, you kids
have to take care of yourselves...
and each other and I'm going
to find a cure for mum.
There was that period from about
12 to 15 that we were left on our own.
I was 12 years old when 
this first happened.
And by the time my 
parents came back
and said okay we're going
to be parents again.
We said no our childhood
is pretty much over.
I'm instinctively made to 
handle a lot of... a lot.
My childhood has really brought
me to the place I am today
and am able to exist 
and not go insane
and not take large doses 
of Xanax every day.
(Matt) My dad is a huge 
figure in our lives.
He's very present all the time
and so is my mum.
People always ask me 
how my dad is...
and I always say, oh my dad's fine 
he's still complaining.
I tell them that when my dad
stops complaining
that is when I'm really
going to be worried.
(Ed) I like your butch shirt.
(Matt) Thank you it's butch?
(Ed) Yeah.
(Matt) Dudley's following me around.
What was my dad like 
for me growing up?
He was a great role model to me.
The best qualities that I have certainly 
came from him and from my mum.
The hardest part about being
his son when I was growing up
was that he wasn't around much.
The one thing that I can say about 
my parents is very much positive,
I had a lot of learning 
disabilities as a kid
and they had the foresight so
that I got the helped that I needed
and they pushed me in a
very positive direction.
And I think to that I owe them much.
I have no idea what 
kind of father I was.
I really wonder what their
mother would say
if she had to assess my 
totality as a father.
Where I really find myself
up against a wall
is with my youngest Charlie
who's Autistic.
And I constantly "run a wire
brush over my body,"
checking to see how much 
I've left undone
in terms of putting 
myself out for him.
I constantly find myself
insufficient there.
He's high functioning so that 
gives you a lot to hope for.
Then when he's tested 
you keep hoping
and I think he'll be discovered
to be Asperger's.
But they said no he's high
functioning Autistic.
That connection between having
two families with Autism in it
is what brought my mum and
Matt together in the first place.
They met in the Autism
Speaks Community
and that's what led them to
be where we are today.
It's the fact that they have 
Autism in their families
is what brought them 
together in the first place.
Single mums in my support 
group say to us...
"I dream about having somebody
to share my life with...
"...but I feel like it's never going 
to happen to me...
"because of my Autistic child."
"Just seeing you and Matt
and the load that you have,
"and yet somehow you have
found each other...
"...and you have made it work."
It gave them hope I think.
Autism Speaks started
about ten years ago.
I have been here 
almost five years.
It's been a great ten years with
lots of progress and awareness.
And lots of advocacy.
They passed insurance 
legislation in 43 States.
They helped pass the Able Act,
worked with military families.
And that's not even mentioning
the science they have done.
They have funded more research
than the NIH which is astounding.
We're having the Walk tomorrow
it's on Autism Awareness Day.
The Walk is really why I am here.
I wandered into a Walk seven 
years ago as a lost Dad.
And my eyes were opened.
You learn about things it's
an enormous resource fair.
It's huge like a hundred plus tables
of people who are doing...
these crazy innovative things
in the Autism world.
Wonderful things.
And you'll meet a lot of people who 
are in this for all the right reasons.
They are just incredible people.
Nevermind being diagnosed the
first step is what do I do?
How do I find my community
and my people?
This is the best place to start
because everyone is here.
So any questions you have 
they can be answered here.
And you find that network,
that community.
But then you have to 
navigate that system
and sometimes as a parent on your own
it's very difficult to understand 
how to access services.
So that's what I do.
Unfortunately there are limited resources
and so schools aren't too forthright in
offering you what your child needs.
And that is when you've got
to go and find help.
(Matt) A lot of families feel that
that's the one day of the year
they can all get together 
and kind of let loose
and relax and not have to worry.
And if there's a meltdown who cares
we'll all together on this.
And no one's going to look
at you strange.
It's everyone can come to this
place and enjoy it.
And not have to worry.
(MC) Let's welcome
Matt Asner to the stage!
Hey everyone how're you doing?
Today is Autism Awareness Day.
(Crowd) Cheers.
I want to say you guys all helped 
raise today 1.35 million dollars.
The LA Walk continues all year long
and our goal is a year goal.
And we need you to do that with us.
Thank you very much you
guys are awesome.
I guess you guys can take a bow.
And you guys can take a bow!
We'll see you next year!
We don't have a lot of options.
We put bids on a few houses that
I had a lot of hesitancy about
and the one we finally are going to 
settle on I feel good about it.
It's a little more than 
we wanted to pay
but it has an enormous 
park-like backyard.
And when you have five little
boys, three with Autism,
having enough outdoor space
is really paramount.
Hopefully you can hear her.
(Phone rings)
(Navah) Hello?
Navah?
Matt?
Am I on speaker phone?
Yeah.
Can you take me off speaker phone?
Hello?
Hi okay...
I heard from Lauren...
A huh?
And unfortunately...
Oh...
We'll have to go down south
a little late on Sunday
because we have got to
go sign the lease.
(Navah) What does that mean?
That means we got it!
(Navah) Yes!
(Laughs)
(Navah) Thank God!
(Navah) Are you so happy?
I am I'm so relieved.
(Navah) When did they 
say we can move?
Immediately.
(Navah) Oh I am so happy.
I can't tell you how happy I am.
(Matt) I think we'll have many
happy memories there.
Alright I love you.
