Hey comrades! These past few months have been so incredible,
working together to fight back against our Capitalist overlords.
I think we're doing wonderful work!
But we could be doing better.
Here are 6 tips that will help you take your anarchy to the next level.
[intense music]
Number 1: Dress to Impress.
Dress for the riot you want, not the riot you have.
That might involve doing a little shoplifting.
In your closet, you probably have a hoodie, a bandana, or a balaclava.
But are they black?
Come on guys! We're trying to create a black bloc here.
Adding other colors to the uniform just makes it a shade less intimidating.
And although you may be covered up and anonymous, trust me, we all see you.
Number 2: Props.
Nothing says 'we mean business' more than destroying an actual business.
But to do so, you're going to need props.
I recommend bringing hammers to the riot.
They're super dependable,
and they're also one of the tools the workers will have to use to repair the damage you've done.
Number 3: Fighting.
If you don't outnumber your innocent opponent by at least 20 to 1,
then that is not a fight you want.
Someone could get hurt!
And at no point are you to debate your enemies.
They have words. You have mace. Use it!
Number 4: Cardio.
You're going to be doing a lot of running away,
especially with all the sucker punching, pepper spraying, and beatings with sticks you'll  be delivering.
Come on, you're a hero. So get in there and get out. Heroically!
Oh, and make sure to stretch beforehand.
Just one pulled hamstring could slow down the revolution.
Number 5: Everyone is a Fascist.
Remember, this is the Antifa movement.
And if you're not Antifa, then you're Fa.
And if you're Fa, then we're going to find you, and we're going to fa you up.
Whether you're a Nazi,
or a Nazi,
or a Nazi...
or....look, everyone without their face covered is pretty much a Nazi.
Got it?
Number 6: Location, location, location!
If there's one thing we've learned over the years, it's if you're looking to riot, stick to progressive cities.
The harder it is to obtain a gun legally,
the less likely some law abiding Fascist is going to shoot you in self-defense.
(yelling)
Comrades, I hope these tips help you along on your mission.
And I can't wait to see you at the next riot.
Until then, keep fighting. And let's hope the fascists don't start fighting back.
What advice would you give to the violent Antifa movement?
Let us know in the comments.
And subscribe to our channel, We The Internet TV,
and follow us on Twitter and Facebook for new videos every week.
And if you don't, then I guess you're just a mean Fascist jerk.
(intense music)
