i am dropping truth bombs in this video
social media doesn't show you the whole picture
iske badh jagda hone vala hai oh god
you don't care about the world as long as your inner peace and santity is maintained
hi guys
and welcome to another episode of
self care sunday and today as you can see i've
a special guest here with me my debut
on self care sunday oh like that okay i was like your debut
you've done multiple videos on my channel by the way
if you guys see us in the exact same outfits in
another video soon please know that we just shot these videos together
yes and we're lazy to change so typically
with self care sunday i talk to you guys this is the
first time i've ever looked glam while sitting down to film a self care sunday
videos probably one of the last as well but you know
i kind of got thinking over what i can do
for you guys and i promised you that i'll try and do new ways of
talking to you in today's self care sunday video
i thought i should get gerry because one of the most
common comments which is obviously a compliment and we
are so grateful for this is you guys are
couple goals what are your relationship tips and
stuff like that so initially i told gerry lets
sit down and like make points on what makes things work
and we've not made any points because it just
doesn't seem like something
one would make points on right like we've been together
for six and a half years at this point
and i thought we would just sit and chill you guys are
used to me not like thinking of things in advance so i kind of
just want to sit with my husband here someone
who is my life partner and partner in general for like
a while and talk to you guys about how we are actually
we are not relationship goals
we're not
we're not we have fights we have our off days
um we have arguments
like any couple like every couple
and i guess in this video you're gonna see us talking
about ourselves super candidly
and if you can relate then great if you can't
relate just i guess keep watching because
at some point you'll be able to relate to us no but
its perfectly alright even if they don't relate right because every
every couple is different
yeah every relationship is different timings change
according to people's its perfectly alright
if you don't related to this but just know that
i mean
i mean its just normal yeah right
so basically we are gonna talk about a lot of this normal but
apparently not so normal things because people don't talk about this
on social media and i am here to break those stereotypes
so let's not make this intro any longer and lets just
dive right into it
okay so first thing i kind off want to put out there
is that we do get mad at each other
yeah
we have infact i feel like
swoop in and correct me wherever you think i'm going wrong
i feel like once you and i know this is a very stereo
typical i know its very stereo typical sentence and i used to laugh
at people when they said this and i din't agree
but i'm gonna tell you why i think so and i'm gonna tell you how i
arrived at this conclusion also
i think we have we've had a lot more
arguments after we got married you know
that shadi ke badh pata chalega angle to a
certain extent it is true the stereotype is
slightly true and i feel like a certain amount
of normalcy  to it also ab hum sathmay rehte hai yeah exactly
i mean that's that's why it happens na because before you
married you get to see her or him for a
few hours probably everyday if you're lucky
and on the weekends but once you start living together
i mean you you're around each other 24/7
yeah and it completely normal to fight yeah about really like
there have been times that we've had stupid arguments
were we've not talk to each other for like two days
and then on the second night we've realised its never been two days
it has be honest we are on a self care sunday episode yeah but
its mostly been a day no we've had two days
two three day also once we had argumented
three days we've had
i'll remind you now next time dekho etna time tumne mujse baat nahi kia tha
but my point is
its totally normal to have these really
stupid silence mode
you know like passive aggressive quiet
not arguments but like non arguments
and then after the end of two days one of the person's
one of the people will go to the other and just sit sathmay and then you'll wonder
what did we actually fight about kisiko yaad bhi nahi hai like yeah
you know what i mean umm
one of the most common things that pisses me off
about gerry is
him like snoring in the middle of the night like its one of the
most stupid small things
but i sometimes like i'm dropping truth bombs
in this video iss video ke badh jagda hone vala hai oh god
i will just wake up no i'll just snore louder
i wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and i know
what i am doing but i'm in my sleep and i'm dying to sleep
because i'm tired
and i'm just patting on his back you know like you do to a baby
because i know if i pat his back he will stop snoring and then
the next and instead of him stopping to snore na
sometimes he will get up and he'll get mad at me cuz he
thinks i'm trying to wake him up so i'm like to pat him
but he thinks i'm trying to
wake him up and the first time this happened we got
into this really stupid argument
and i was like no i was just trying to stop you from snoring cuz i
coudn't sleep umm
stupid ridiculous things like this do exist
and then ofcourse there are some of the more serious bigger
fights real fights
but i i just feel like everytime i
read a comment that says you're couple goals
like i thank people for thinking that about us
but i also don't want social media
to make it look like we don't fight
you know what i mean everything's not perfect and
rosy yeah and daisy
sunshine two two different individuals will have
slashes will have different opinions
will get mad at each other for different things
some valid some not so valid stuff like snoring
but
i mean happens its completely normal doesn't
i don't know whether that makes us couple goals or
relationship goals i've not idea about that
but it makes us normal i think
i'm gonna give my two scents of this and you should give yours
like when it comes to the more serious arguments or fights that we have
i think what really works for us is that
i'm like for example i'll speak from my from my part obviously
i feel like what works for me
what i think my good contribution lets say
is that i shut up
like when he is in fight mode or he is in argument
mode i just i shut up like i'm someone who
when i'm really angry or when i'm like really upset
i don't talk
and initially when we started dating this would drive him up
the wall
cuz still does sometimes yeah we're very communicative as people
so i think initially when you realized that i'm just not
talking it took you some time to adjust to the idea
ki yeh chup reh rahi hai or kuch bata nahi rahi for a change chup reh rahi hai
may khudh he bol deti hu i knew your joke was coming
but like the reason i don't like by now you know why
i don't talk right like i don't talk cuz i don't like to
speak just out of the thing is i'm very
emotional as a person i'm too emotional
as a person you know you agree with this
yeah we've talked about this multiple times so i don't
want to say anything that will hurt him
or i don't want to say anything that i'll regret like
sometimes when you're really hurt or really upset you can be really mean
and i am a very witty person
i don't wanna necessarily throw my wit out negatively your witty
i'm witty your witty
witty we're both pretty witty
you're witty yeah why are you repeating this
you're witty stop so i feel like
that's my like positive way of dealing with something
where i'll shut up and i'll be like
we'll talk just give me some time to process
and i feel like his positive like he like the positive
contribution he brings to the table is that he is
a very good listener sometimes he
takes time to process
what he is listening to
but eventually the ting does happen
which is sometimes no most when i agree with you no most times
atleast you do process what i'm explain my
point of view what i'm trying to explain you're a good listener
and if you disagree with me its fine you're still processing and
explaining to me so yeah either way it's a good thing
balanced
balance balance it out my last self care sunday
episode was all about balance yeah clearly this couple is really
obsessed with balance yes it was
but it is important you know the balance is extremely important what do you think
makes us work in that aspect like
before we dive into what doesn't make us work
i think we should say how i said my contribution and your contribution
what do you think
what do you think of those two factors
i mean
i don't know what makes us work or
what woudn't make us work all i know is that
we make us work i don't know whether that
makes sense or not
whatever it is the way you are the way i am i mean
we just make it work
its balance i think we compliment each other
perfectly i mean not so perfectly sometimes
but mostly it works for us right
like for example if if you
like shutting up in a argument umm
and then taking your own time to
process process and come up with
your side of argument
or if you want to have a conversation
um like you said i tend to listen
i'm listener so you speak
so i mean that works well for us its not
really a formula per se its just the kind of people that
we both are individually works for us
i i kind of what to go a step further over here
and say that i find our relationship
very similar to my parents relationship actually
yeah yeah i feel like you know when i was growing up i used to tell my
parents that you guys are so different you guys are so and my mom
and my dad you know you also hear the uncles and aunties
say ha opposites attract ha opposites attract
and i never really found full semblance
of that like the true meaning of that till we happened
because if you meet us generally
like like you're watching our videos lets say we're
such different people yeah i'm more out going
your more reserved like i would i would
love to spend an evening with friends
pre covid and given a
choice he would rather stay home in a corner and read a book
i'll also read a book but i'll also meet people
like i like i like having my people around me
um he him him not so much
so when you meet us like first glance
he come across as very different people by like personality
but i feel like our core our funda's
in life
are similar i think that they're the same ha similar
i i feel like when it comes to our ethics
when it comes to our filters when it comes to our
you know like just basically what
really works for us and doesn't work for us
that core is the same like like i feel like we were
in harry potter land both of our wands would come from the same phoenix
as long as its not the harry potter lord Voldemort conundrum
i'm fine
what i'm basically trying to say is you know with
like self care we always talk about
relationships here on my channel and i feel like
so many times time and again i've said
hold all your relationships to an equal standard
you can't hold your partner to one standard
then your best friend to another standard the your family to
another standard if you're keeping a self worth
then your self worth has to be the same you
can't lower your self worth for someone and upbeat for someone else
that's not fair to the people around you
and its not fair to yourself also very importantly
i feel like we're also very different from the sense
where because i've lived with my family all my life
i'm very close to my parents just not
emotionally like or the physically i just want to go meet my parents any chance
i get um and i think i talk to his parents
more often then he talks with his parents
so i mean we are pretty different like from that angle
yeah um so like little
ways in which you've to understand where the another person
is coming from like one of the other really important things
not for your partner again just for your relationships life in general
is to understand where the other person
is coming from like what is their journey
truly been like right we're
11 years apart when i met you for the first time
i was 23 you were 34
and um
i honestly for the first time in my life
felt like i was
i i was going out with a man
you know you had your shit together really and
what do you mean i mean like you had your shit together
like see i am someone who i don't mean for this to sound
pompous or boasty or anything at all i promise but like
because i've always been this old soul
or whatever it is that you now people call someone like me
umm
i always got along with people who were older i always got along with people
who were just more mature lets just say who
i was very wavelength conscious like
i've chill friends then i have like
friends close friends so those close friends are people who are all
at a very mature wavelength so when i met you i felt
that instant
on this man is at my wavelength you know like
i can see myself having a really cool
chill conversation with him i can see myself
discussing politics with him i can see myself discussing
absolutely anything under the sun with him also i
can see myself being able to learn from him
because there are like so many things that both of us
transferred to each other yeah there are certain habits about
you today that you din't have seven years ago
and like there are habits like i
i walked right into that one
there are habits that i have that i din't have seven years ago
um like should i give you an example
can i give an example of myself first sure
my i've always been
like mature in that sense like everyone
always told me that
but i din't have this level of
self preservation
if that's the right way to put it like i never fought for myself ever in life
and i feel like
the fact that i
will fight for my inner peace like i'll i'll
i don't mean for it to sound negative but like the fact that
i'm willing to cut the negativity out that i'm confident enough
to fight for myself is because of
how you've had that impact on me
cuz you're someone who's so
alhamdulillah alhamdulillah you're so like centered and
zen and you're so
like you don't care about the world as long as you world inner peace
and santity is maintained you know
i never chased inner peace i just thought
i was peaceful but
i feel like now i truely feel like i'm
in in from a mental health from an emotional health prespective
i feel like i'm one of the safe most safe places i've
ever been in my life aww
aww but that's a habit i
i now have because of you because i feel like
the light is suddenly completely orange because it is
poring outside and now its super cloudy
yeah so please bare with us
but
circling back
i feel like i have that because of you that's an habit the self care
like i was always i was always into self care but i din't realise
how much more i needed to take care of myself
i feel like the fact that i take care of myself now
i owe a lot of that to learning from the way
you take care of yourself
so i don't know whether i take care of myself so you do
maybe its so normal to you maybe you don't realize you're doing it
but you do you don't get affected by things
when when you know people are talking yeah about you
and not just talking about like in your you know your working
experience in the past
i also mean as something as superficial as reading comments
here on youtube you know
i mean it may sound really really petty 's
to anyone who's work doesn't involve it but
now our work
involves going through comments responding to you guys
and talking to you guys so i guess
you do you just don't realize it because you do it
so easily it comes so naturally to you that you don't realize
okay maybe
never really thought about it yeah
never really thought about it
and now you wanted me to answer a habit that you have now
because of me apart from me having breakfast
well that's one
okay so gerry didn't used to have breakfast
till up untill maybe 6 months of us starting to date he would just have
redbull every morning for breakfast
and when we started dating we used to live a little bit further
from each other at the time he was in a temporary house at the time
and we used to have breakfast's
cuz i would be on the way to his work
and i would see him having a red bull everyday and i was like this is
i mean i love red bull all of that's fine
but you can't have a red bull for breakfast
that's a bit much yeas i mean apart from that
i feel like
i feel like you've i am not saying you've become an
out going person
but you've become less socially awkward
yes that is true very fact that i'm sitting
here doing this video in front of a camera
talking to you guys is
credit to you not credit to me i just
think that we've rubbed off on each other in a certain ways i guess right
and i feel like your
i'm not saying like he is if those of you who've been
to any of our meet and greets
um the fact that he is standing there and taking pictures
with you and making conversation in itself
like trying to make conversation fair but even trying
is a you've come a long way
yes and i feel like you should give yourself credit for that
no
its all because of you arey but maine actively nahi bola hai na
you've just learnt on your own so you should give yourself credit for
that i've not learnt on my own i mean i've seen you interacting with
everyone even though i could never be that i'm just
no that way toh
no the point is when we see the other person doing something
we try to do it ourselves
so when i'm becoming
more self care conscious and you're becoming so social
the credit goes to the person who the efforts who's making the effort to do that
okay its just as simple as that i'll take that credit you should you should
rightfully so so i just feel like in a
relationship you have to i know it sounds like a theory but like
just be conscious on the kind of effect you're
probably having on someone yeah hopefully positive
umm
its also upto you on what what
trate or what
behaviour i don't know i don't  know the
exact word but what trate to inbibe from your partner
ofcourse so its also upto you its not just upto the person
who's doing the
imbibing can you imagine the reverse effect of this
me becoming socially awkward can you imagine
me having imbibed that
that would be funny
it would be very funny yeah
so i just feel like when we're talking about selfcare i wanted gerry to
come and talk to you guys and make you realize that
social media doesn't show you the whole picture just because there is a picture of
us hugging and holding each other loving which we do a lot
but its doesn't make us the perfect couple because we are not
we're far from it um very normal and i
think we have to normalize that we've to normalize the idea
of
couples that fight
or content creators having an off day or bad skin
or you know a weird blotty
and i talk so openly about myself if i've gained weight
and
i even when we got engaged when we announced it i got
so many weird comments from so many people about how we
we we're the weirdest couple and
i apparently married you for a lot of money ya where is my money
if i married you for where is my money give me my money i wish
you married me for money but there is none shut up
so and the thing is a lot of people feel awkward
about addresses stuff like that and i get it but we're not
we talk about it we laugh about it we joke about it comments
really funny reading some of those comments i mean
yeah because you learn to take things with a grain of salt
when your job is sharing your life's on the internet
so umm
yeah i guess that's that's i just kind of wanted to put
out there with the selfcare sunday series if you guys want
us to do relationship centric Q and A video
which i think might be interesting but if you think
it will be interesting yeah let me know down below in the comments
um if most of you do say that it isn't just a
i will go ahead and put out a poll thingy
on my instagram stories i'm really active on my instagram
g is very active on instagram
so make sure you guys go follow us and
put in your questions there if and when we choose to do this like
follow from there but just putting it out there that everything's
not normal everything abnormal is also normal
lets break this stereotype and lets talk about
real stuff that is
just real also one thing is that i don't think
there is any formula to this
its its purely down to the two of you
or the three of you or the four of you
or whatever what are you saying
it could be any relationship it could be a family relationship it could be a romantic relationship yeah
it could be a couple i get it i get it i was just speaking funny could be triple
witty
witty agian
so yeah i mean you
its completely down to you guys what we can help you
or what we can say is what works for
us which we are still learning by the way
as i said there is no formula i can't make a check list for me and say okay this works for me
this works for me this works for me
this definitely works for me so again
i can't do all of that and i don't think even you
can do all of that its just its gut its instinct
its just worked for us it has to come from inside
from your tummy
from your tummy you know from your gut oh okay gut
so yeah that's all for this video
i really hope you guys enjoyed it this videos
wear fam comment shoutout goes to sahar mahem who left a comment
on one of your previous videos so thank you so much for always
talking to me in the comments i'm always reading responding
replying trying to do our best to keep
it conversational this is not just me coming and dropping videos
i wanna hear from you i wanna know your thoughts make sure you guys
hit like on this video if you enjoyed it and turn that bell notification
on
if you wanna get alerts for all of my upcoming videos
cuz i upload quiet a few videos here on my channel
thank you for coming and talking finally thank you for having me
i think this was interesting it was interesting and we will do the Q and A if they say that it is
yes okay now give me a kiss
okay thank you for watching guys bye love you
muah
