
English: 
Alright, Just give me a cheer like if you think that Newton or Einstein
like these people were the smartest people in this world.
Like they were the smartest
Like there’s no one better than them.
Because I will deny that
Thank you for not cheering
Because I think the smartest man in the world was the one
who, for the first time ever,
sold a paperweight.
What must he have said to sell this product?
“Sir, what does your product do?”
He said in a meeting,
it prevents paper from flying!
No one said to him, “You mean to say like almost every other product!”
Every other product does it's job
And if it does get spoilt

Hindi: 
Alright, Just give me a cheer like if you think that Newton or Einstein
like these people were the smartest people in this world.
Like they were the smartest
Like there’s no one better than them.
Because I will deny that
Thank you for not cheering
Because I think the smartest man in the world was the one
who, for the first time ever,
sold a paperweight.
What must he have said to sell this product?
“Sir, what does your product do?”
He said in a meeting,
it prevents paper from flying!
No one said to him, “You mean to say like almost every other product!”
Every other product does it's job
And if it does get spoilt

Hindi: 
it can just lie where it is and also become a paperweight.
Paper itself
can become a stack of papers
and won’t fly, and will stop other papers from flying
But this person picked up a stone
and thought, I’ll go sell this today.
And he even managed to get funding!
That fucker ate curd and sugar before he left home.
Because everyone looked at this product, and they are like
Let’s make a company out of this
I mean, who does this happen with?
Who wakes up in the morning
and goes, “Shit, we can’t get any work done today.”
Why? “Because I can’t find the paperweight!”
Have you ever gotten a call from office saying,
“Don’t come to office today.”
You’re like, “Why?”

English: 
it can just lie where it is and also become a paperweight.
Paper itself
can become a stack of papers
and won’t fly, and will stop other papers from flying
But this person picked up a stone
and thought, I’ll go sell this today.
And he even managed to get funding!
That fucker ate curd and sugar before he left home.
Because everyone looked at this product, and they are like
Let’s make a company out of this
I mean, who does this happen with?
Who wakes up in the morning
and goes, “Shit, we can’t get any work done today.”
Why? “Because I can’t find the paperweight!”
Have you ever gotten a call from office saying,
“Don’t come to office today.”
You’re like, “Why?”

English: 
“All our paperweights got stolen.”
“So all our paperwork has stopped.”
Paperweight!
There is no need for this product at all.
I mean, everything in this world is already a paperweight.
Your watch is a paperweight.
Your glasses are a paperweight.
Your phone is a paperweight.
Your hand is a paperweight!
If at night you worry, “Who am I?”
“Paperweight!”
Existentialism solved!
But, its the smartest product
because this product can't have a single flaw.
Because no one is logging into Amazon and complaining,
“What terrible paperweight have you sold to me!”
“It gets 0 stars.”
“All our papers flew off.”
No one is calling them and saying,

Hindi: 
“All our paperweights got stolen.”
“So all our paperwork has stopped.”
Paperweight!
There is no need for this product at all.
I mean, everything in this world is already a paperweight.
Your watch is a paperweight.
Your glasses are a paperweight.
Your phone is a paperweight.
Your hand is a paperweight!
If at night you worry, “Who am I?”
“Paperweight!”
Existentialism solved!
But, its the smartest product
because this product can't have a single flaw.
Because no one is logging into Amazon and complaining,
“What terrible paperweight have you sold to me!”
“It gets 0 stars.”
“All our papers flew off.”
No one is calling them and saying,

Hindi: 
“We’d ordered paperweights, but got only packaging.”
They’ll be like, “Oh! Why don’t you just use the packaging then.”
Nothing, they have nothing to do
They just sit around in their call centers
They’ve gone to pass time
“Did you try switching it off and on again?”
Nothing, there’s nothing you can say to them
Call them and say, “What terrible paperweight have you sold to me?” 
“It broke into two pieces!”
They’ll be like, “Congratulations Sir!”
“Now you have two paperweights.”
“Use one on the left, one on the right.”
“This is just how our product is.”
“It reproduces asexually.”

English: 
“We’d ordered paperweights, but got only packaging.”
They’ll be like, “Oh! Why don’t you just use the packaging then.”
Nothing, they have nothing to do
They just sit around in their call centers
They’ve gone to pass time
“Did you try switching it off and on again?”
Nothing, there’s nothing you can say to them
Call them and say, “What terrible paperweight have you sold to me?” 
“It broke into two pieces!”
They’ll be like, “Congratulations Sir!”
“Now you have two paperweights.”
“Use one on the left, one on the right.”
“This is just how our product is.”
“It reproduces asexually.”
