We asked fourteen hundred people
If you could say anything you want
to anyone with no consequences
What would you say?
alarmingly, fifty six percent said they'd had these concerns
locked up in their vaults, for over a year!
And some, for a decade
so here's some BS you can use
most of us think these problems are too scary to discuss
so we don't
our respondents were worried that if they spoke up
they would suffer retribution
an emotional scene or a lost of a friendship
That's right but notice what they aren't describing as a potential outcome
did you hear it?
Ok, what you're not hearing
are the risks of not speaking up
The reason we so predictably suffer in silence
is because when we think about risks
we only think of the risks
of speaking up
and give little thought to the risks of
not speaking up
we suffer under the naive belief that
silence is safe
but it's not
you see, when it comes to crucial conversations
you have only two choices
talk it out or act it out
for example,
one manager wanted to say this to his assistant
why would that be so hard
how do you think these concerns are showing up in this manager's behavior?
aviodance, over-reaction
gossip
tolerating under-performance
workarounds, you name it
if he's not talking out, he's acting it out
in a dozen different ways
here's the big idea
the best way to instantly change how you deal
with the scariest concerns in your life
yes, do this
draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper
on the left, list all the risks of speaking up
on the right, list all the risks of not speaking up
then, make your decision
it may be that you don't need to lock your vault
and throw away the key
you simply need an honest risk assesment
I'm Joseph Grenny
and I'm David Maxfield
and that's all the BS for today
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where we always promise to share some BS you can use
I talked to a doctor one time that was literally giving up his
practice and moving five states away
rather than confront a colleague
I talked to a manager who took a sabbatical and moved
across country so they'd have to rent out their house
to get their eighteen year old to move out
oh no
