 
### UnbeWeavable

By

Darryl A. Ballinger

Aka "DA"

### UnbeWeavable

By

Darryl A. Ballinger

Aka "DA"

Copyright 2012

All rights reserved

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher.

Smashwords Edition: License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

### UnbeWeavable

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all women who know who they are and proud of it. They know what they want to be and where they are going in life. Now reach back and assist the rest.

Acknowledgements

I give credit to where credit is due. There have been so many people in my life that brought me to this point. I could write an entire book naming them all. I apologize in advance to any and all family members, friends and acquaintances not listed. Please don't feel slighted.

I honor the only woman in my life that really loved and understood me, my mother, Ada B. I loved my mother more than life itself. She taught me many things like right from wrong, how to love, to be positive even when everyone else is against you. That has kept me all these years. Thank you Mama.

I thank my big sister Gwendolyn, aka "Jean" who never understood me but supported me with love and affection. It has meant a lot to me that there is someone in the world who would always have my back.

To my brothers: Dwight aka "Brother," David, Eric, and my baby brother Tony. Tony, "come back to us, the family loves you, and all is forgiven."

Thank you Kathleen Bradley Redd, the first Black model on "The Price is Right" game show. She and I have been friends for years and I've never seen a more dedicated wife and mother than her. When a lot of people were turning their backs on me, she always made me feel like an equal and did all she could to help me through some troubling times and that has meant a lot to me. Thanks Kathleen.

Another prominent person in my life experience is Therein Clark aka "T" aka "The Mayor" to his close friends. After the passing of my beloved Uncle Mac, God sent a man much like him. That was "T," a giving person who took me under his wing and gave me hope.

To Uncle Mac, who loved and raised me like his own son. He taught me courage, jazz, style and grace. Although we had a love/hate relationship sometimes, there was no other man on earth that I would have laid down my life for than Uncle Mac.

I would be remiss if I didn't recognize one of the greatest ladies in my life, my aunt "Dollester" aka "Doll." I give thanks to God for blessing us with this wonderful woman. She was always there for me and my siblings when our mother was alive and after her death. Doll gave all of us unconditional love when we were at our best and worse. I miss her as much as I miss my mother. Peace and Love.

Thank you Mryam Shabazz, a true lady in every sense of the word. She is one of the most caring and giving persons I know and a person of her word. That's very hard to find these day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. As-salamu alaykum (Peace be unto you). I'm a true Christian, but I want to give respect to a great lady and friend.

Special Acknowledgements

To my first mentor, Carol H. Williams of "Carol H. Williams Advertising Agency in Emeryville, CA and Chicago, IL. She was my greatest inspiration to become a writer. She took me under her wing taking the time to teach a kid from the ghetto the fundamentals of writing "sitcoms," aka situation comedies such as "The Jefferson's," "All in the Family" and "That's My Mama." I was in awe of this woman's talent and abilities. You may not know her but you know her work, "strong enough for a man but made for a woman," or "the Pillsbury Dough Boy," who she created. Thank you Carol, I just wanted you to know how much you touch my life. P.S. I also had a hell of a crush on her, she was fine!

To Apostle Fredrick KC Price, who taught me the word of God and is a living example of it. If we had more Godly examples like Dr. Price in the pulpit teaching the word, this world would be a better place to live in. There's absolutely no way I can repay you for all that you have done for me and my family other than for me to live my life as an example of the man we both love best, "The Carpenter."

Dr. Beverly "Bam" Crawford, a woman of such great faith and power in God. It was my supreme honor to be selected to assist you in your ministry. I never knew the challenges you were going through at that time. I only hope I helped you enough to ease some of them. Thank you for teaching me how not, to live by bread alone.

To Kevin Trudeau, I thank you for sharing some very special information to assist the rest of us in living a healthier and more blissful existence here on planet earth. Thank you for having the courage and fortitude to step away from the darkness and repent of it. That took guts and you have my respect for that.

And to Christine Brooks Martin, a lady whom this book might not have seen the light of day, had it not been for her hard work and dedication to me and my project. I can't put into words how much I appreciate your giving spirit. Thank you so very much!!!

### UnbeWeavable

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1:

Identification Please

Chapter 2:

Don't Shoot the Messenger: I Must Put it Down to Lift You Up!

The Problem

Let's Talk, "Good Hair and Bad Hair"

The History of Your Beautiful Black Hair in America

Stop Hating Yourself and Calling it "Ghetto Fabulous"

Chapter 3:

I had an Epiphany

Take the Red Pill

It's Time to Wake the "F" Up!!!

My Research Project

The Paradigm Shift

The Greatest Brainwashing Job in the History of Mankind

Weaves, the Black Contraceptive

Chapter 4:

The 8,000 lb. Gorilla in the Room

Black Men: It's Broke--It's Time to Fix It!

What Price for Glory?

Dying for a New Look

Label Reading 101: Chemicals that are Harmful

No Bragging Rights

Change Your Words and Change Your World

Chapter 5:

The Way Back Home "UNPLUGGED"

The Comparison Test

Let's Play a Game of "Monopoly"

How to Unplug Yourself

Let's Talk Solutions

The Final Financial Solution

Financial Resources

Mind, Body and Spirit

A Living Wheel

" **Confidence"**

Final Thoughts from the Author

Beautiful Black Women with Beautiful Natural Hair

About the Author

About the Book "UnbeWeavable"

Other Books by the Author

Contact

Contributors

Introduction

Be advised. This book is not a Black history moment. It was written because of my awakening to a serious wrong. It's not a book about the history of Black hair even though it might seem that way from time to time. I just want to express my sincere and honest feelings about the systematic brainwashing job the "Media" has performed on us, and the Black community is totally unaware of it. We as a people shouldn't think about entering into the Promise Land if we've lost our self image.

Over the past five decades Black women have been under attack for their self-image—the attack on your "Black Hair." Weaves, extensions, relaxers and wigs have become synonymous with African American women and I want to know why! Why no other race of people on the planet is trying to change their image. It doesn't make sense. I understand beauty, fashion and the pursuit of looking good but it's gone far beyond that and we don't even see it. Well its wake up time, time to come out from under the ether before you perish. So get ready for a wild ride and a no-holds-barred book about YOU and what they have done to our beautiful Black African queens.

There's a serious mind game being played right now on us concerning our Black image. I was first exposed to it at a very early age about 10-years-old, if I remember correctly. My mother owned two wigs, one for day (work) and one for night (for parties). She would place them on white headrests at night. My brother and I used to play with them when she went to work. They were our first footballs. I remember how she looked so beautiful in them especially after they came back from the beautician. I got the same rush when we would send our mangy dog out to be groomed. When it returned, it was a toy poodle again. My mother was already a real beautiful woman and I couldn't understand for the life of me why she wore wigs and not her naturally beautiful hair.

Now I realize why she wore them and probably for the same reasons you do—for speed, convenience and efficiency. My mother had six children to raise and time was a premium then, especially when it came to getting to work and us off to school. I still don't know how she did it. But ladies I told you that story so you will realize that I get it. I understand your situation in Black America but that's still no excuse for losing your identity. It took me 59 years to write this book and my research is very extensive, so please pay close attention.

From my early years as a child, to my adolescence I've seen the world, especially the United States from various view points. I know and understand how the many races and ethnicities are treated, used and otherwise controlled. Through my research I found that many companies back in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s would not hire Black women if she wore her natural hair or braids. What a mind trip and it's even more insidious today! The Media ads, commercials, TV shows, videos, music, movies and internet are all being used to capture your mind, to make you feel like you're not wanted unless you look a certain way. It's time for you to take a stand for your right to be you. Starting with my mother, I applaud all Black women who want to look better and be the best they can be, but the time has come to expose the truth about "Erasing the natural Black woman" phenomenon. Your sons and daughters are watching you and what do they see each day coming though the door? Do they see a beautiful Black woman who's proud of her Black image, a woman who wears her hair braided or in dreads or maybe an Afro, proud and defiant? Or do they see someone else, Ms Fabulous with blond straight hair or extensions so long they almost touch the floor.

I applaud your versatility, but is it an everyday occurrence? Is it long, straight and blonde extensions and weaves with all kinds of colored streaks with hard gel, pressed to the side and dyed? Is it so hard that it cracks at the touch? I call it, "The No Touch Zone." This is not the real you ladies. I remember touching my mother's hair and I loved the way it felt. I can only imagine what your children are going through when it comes to touching mommy's hair. If the no touch zone applies to your lover it must also apply with equal force to your children and anyone else for that matter.

Ask yourself a question. What are some of the things I have denied myself, and children, because of my hair style? I'm pretty certain you don't go swimming with your kids or splash around in the water with them. Do you and your girlfriends just sit in a chair and watch them have all the fun. All other races don't do that. They're experiencing what life has to offer, especially with their children. Do you exercise or do you use the excuse, "my hair will go back" as the ladies say in New York or Chicago. Go back to what? Well let me tell you what—your natural state. And what's wrong with that? That's the way it's supposed to be, natural. But the Media has you thinking that's a bad thing. Don't you see now how crazy that is? You're using every trick in the book not to be you. Understand this also ladies, everyday that you avoid some sort of exercise, the unhealthier you become. Is this really the message you want to send to your family? Wait, that's book #1.

Now this is the ultimate question. Is your love life suffering because your lover can never get too close? Must he always stay on guard in the event he might stray into the forbidden zone? Ask yourself this question, why isn't there enough money at the end of the month for the little extras you want to buy for your kids? Where does all the money go? I could go on and on but I think you know where I'm coming from. We are about to embark on the most important journey you could ever imagine and together we will seek out the answers to these most provocative questions.
Chapter 1:

Identification Please

Will the real Black African American Women please step forward?

Maybe you've heard this question a thousand times and rarely gave it any attention. This time I want you to pay close attention to this phrase because it's speaking directly to you this time, the Black African American woman. Let's find out, just who you are.

(Is this the real you?)

**OR** **(Is this the real you?)**

Let me make this as simple as I can!

" **THIS IS THE REAL YOU"**

In all your natural GLORY, you are the complete package, from head to toe. You have the softest and healthiest hair on the planet, the most luscious lips, the deepest eyes imaginable, the most sensuous breast and your hips were designed by God himself to carry Kings and Queens. Your caramel skin is so smooth it's from everlasting to everlasting. Why would you want to be anybody else when you're already the top of the line model? Let me tell you something ladies and hear me loud and clear, we want you back to your natural blackness and beauty, not this made up monstrosity. This pseudo self image serves no real purpose other than to make the Media richer and us poorer. Now is the time for you to open your eyes and realize just who you are, I can't do it for you. The Media knows that if you tell someone something long enough with strong conviction they will eventually believe it. Three hundred years ago they thought the world was flat, because everyone said it was.

Let's start with the basics. Where you originated from is who you are. If you were from Portugal you're Portuguese, Ireland you're Irish, Japan you're Japanese. So you're from Africa so that makes you African. Got it? Good! Now if you're Black and you have a problem with that let me tell you something, you not only have a problem but you are the problem. Understand this, it's not your fault, right now we're undergoing the most insidious mind trip the world has ever known. Now here's the good news, it's not too late to regain your most natural mind. Be of good courage all is not lost.

We are the descendents of kings, queens, princes, and princesses. Real royal blood is coursing through your veins, so start acting like it. If you could trace your full genealogy back to Africa you would know that this is true but you can't, can you? It's almost impossible because of the way we arrived here. We are the only race of people in America who never chose to come here. Think about that for a while. Let me prove it to you. Name one sport or academia where we haven't dominated in that field of endeavor after they let us in. There isn't any. We take home all the Gold medals, awards and accolades. The reason we are so endued is because they only took the supreme best of us. So it stands to reason how we were able to survive such a horrific ocean voyage of such magnitude. They spent six to seven months on their backs, living in squalor, lying in their own feces, not to mention the tainted food. We are the descendents of those "Super Beings." They were the cream of the crop, the best that our motherland had to offer. Now that I think of it, maybe we were a living sacrifice to this region of the world to save it from complete annihilation. Makes you want to go....Hmmm. Wait that's book #2. Now you know why they must keep us dumbed-down with alcohol, drugs and poverty.

The only way to turn this thing around, this mind trip, is to just say "no." That's the only word in the world that can topple nations and bring down kingdoms. When a person says "no," that means he or she has decided to think for themselves. You're the captain of your destiny. You're saying to the Media that I know what's best for me, and my family, and now that makes you dangerous. So don't you dare deny yourself a second longer. You are a King or Queen, a descendent of a miraculous lineage. I make no apologies for what you are about to learn about yourself and the mind-blowing events taking place, even as you read this book, to bring your minds into captivity. This is serious business because anytime a single entity can manipulate an entire race of people to despise their own image, then we might want to take a hard look at the nation we live in.

It's funny, I've been taking some real hard looks at women's heads lately and it's almost become an obsession--natural hair versus weaves, wigs, extensions and permanents. Guess who's losing the fight? I find myself counting heads now, almost everywhere I go, the mall, walking down the street, or at the movies. I attended a funeral some time ago and there were approximately 200 in attendance. There were 130 or so women. I counted 121 who either had weaves, wigs, or hair straightened in some fashion. The same goes for my church. Oh yeah, what part of the obsession didn't you understand? I got similar results in my count. It's always around 40% of the older ladies who wear wigs and permanents. For the younger women, 89% wear weaves and extensions. In both instances I found only a small percentage wearing the natural hairstyles. I'm not trying to be difficult or judgmental I'm only trying to get you to realize that we should be just as proud and functional with our natural hair as other races with theirs, that's all.

It's OK to want to change your look from time to time, that's your God-given right. The problem is we're not making choices for ourselves. There's nothing wrong with you changing the length, style or even color of your hair, the problem is the length of time you spend in it. What is the image you see in the morning each day? Is it you or the Media's image of you?

In the past, I have used relaxers to give my hair that softer feel and manageability but not anymore. After I learned the truth about the harmful effects chemicals have on my body and mind, I decided to find some other products without harmful ingredients. These are the kind of products that gave the same results I wanted and I did. You can too because they're out there.

Listen up ladies. In the August 2012 issue of "Sister to Sister Magazine," which covered the 15th annual Talial Waajid's World Natural Hair, Health and Beauty Show in Atlanta, Bernard Bronner (who heads up the multimillion dollar Bronner Brothers Enterprises), was quoted as saying, "Chemical relaxer sales are declining about 10 to 20 percent. B and B developed their own line called 4 Naturals. It's full of all natural ingredients and no preservatives, no chemicals, only green and organic ingredients." Bernard added, "The natural hair movement is bigger than the Jeri-curl was 20 years ago."

Well ladies, you see there are alternatives out there and you should conduct your own investigation. B and B and the Talial Waajid's All Natural Hair Show seem like a great place to start. Remember you are not alone.

Chapter 2:   
Don't Shoot the Messenger

### I Must Put it Down to Lift You Up!

There is something wrong, something very, very wrong when I observe a whole race of Black women wearing a hairstyle 365 days a year, which is not their own. Black women in America, and I've found that most Black women around the world, are wearing a hairstyle that emulates every other race other than their own. On the most part, you don't see Asian women, White women, European women, Indian women, Jewish women, Pakistani women, Hawaiian women, or any other women on the planet wearing Afros. I say Afros because everyone can relate to that word. That style was made famous in the 60s and 70s but the real name is "natural." Natural hair is what the Black race produces and it's just as good, beautiful, lovely, manageable, strong, and resilient as any other hair type on the earth.

So we must ask ourselves some important and far-reaching questions. What is wrong with my Black hair? Why does the perception or the very thought of my natural hair have such a negative appeal? Where did this perception come from and who started it?

We may never find the real answers to these most provocative questions, but we must start somewhere. Nothing is wrong with Black hair. On the contrary, it's more durable, stronger and healthier than all other races combined. Now that's a heavy statement and I said it so you can start having some pride in your self image. Is it true or not? You do some research, and don't take my word for it. Look into it for yourself. I want you to stop right now from letting other people do your thinking for you. Change your mind and you change your world. I did and I started thinking for myself, questioning my existence, finding my own answers.

You never believed you were beautiful until the Media told you that you were, for example: Beyonce, Rihanna, Whitney, Housewives of Atlanta, Mary Jane Blige, Tara Banks, Halle Berry and Janet Jackson. And that's only been in the past 20 years. You never saw yourself beautiful relative to these women: Whoopie, Cicely Tyson, Pattie LaBelle, Oprah, Maya Angelou, Angela Davis, Erica Badue, India Arie, Kim Fields, and other beautiful Black women with Afrocentric hair, hips and broad noses. Why not? Think about it...only when the Media decided for you. Right?... Right!!

Are you beginning to wake up? I hope so, because the rest of this book promises you nothing but the truth... and the truth is hard to swallow sometimes.

You have been manipulated at the highest level and you are not alone. The Black male is just as culpable in this, maybe even moreso. We're supposed to be the ones who lead and protect, the ever-vigilant ones, watching out for trouble along the way. I will address that as well but not at this time. Wait, that's book #3.

I need to get your attention right now because you guide and nurture the family. And if you go down, it's over. By perpetuating these contrived ideas which have been man made by design, we will ultimately be destroyed as a people, not a race. They still need us for now, so genocide is not the Media's mandate. The mandate is to control your mind and your pocketbook.

Black women already make more money than their Black counterparts 2 to 1. And that's by design as well. The money you spend on your hair, only you know, but this I know, it's not worth it. I'm not only speaking in dollars and cents, but let's start there.

I'm concerned about the times that the children go without proper meals and have to dine only on fast-foods like McDonald's or Cup-O-Noodles. How many go without proper clothing and school supplies? How many have to stay home from school because there isn't enough money for bus fare? You getting the picture?

At this point let me say this, I'm not opposed to wigs, weaves and extensions. No, not at all, but what I am against is the time you spend wearing it. You want to look good and I being a Black man agree with that 100 percent. But when the Media dictates your buying and spending habits, and you don't see it, well it's time to wake up and smell the burnt hair.

I bet you don't even know or care where that human or synthetic hair on your head comes from. Well get ready. Let me pull your ponytail. About 72 percent of the human hair sold in America comes from third world countries. There is a religious sect called "Punitri" in India. All year long, followers come from all over the world to sacrifice their hair to the gods and allow the priest to shave their heads completely bald. Then the hair is collected, washed, separated and sold for big profits and 40 percent is sold to American women. Oh yeah... the followers don't get a dime for their hair.

Now let's do some inventory. The hair is free, they pay the workers only $2 a day to clean and package the hair. One worker works 6 days a week at a minimum of 60 hours per week. That's earnings of $12 a week, $48 a month and $576 a year. That's if he doesn't get sick. Now let's see what the profiteers earn a year. One foot of packaged hair can be priced for $200 in the U.S., and the average worker produces 10 feet a day. 10 x $200 = $2,000 a day, $14,000 a week, 45 weeks a year (giving the slave some days off) x $14,000 = $630,000 a year and that's from one worker. Boy, am I in the wrong business!!!

### The Problem

On September 9, 2012, I was doing some research for the book and much of it comes from the internet, YouTube, blogs and Tweets from all over the world. I stumbled upon this Black talk show called The Carol Lempel Show on the internet and the topic for the day was "Natural vs. Weaves, which is better?" I watched it with glad abandonment and excitement. The host was an attractive Black lady, very intelligent and very professional. Her questions were precise and to the point. Her guests were two Black females, one with natural hair and the other wore a weave. The other guests were two Black men who gave their opinions, likes and dislikes of weaves. The ladies expressed their point of view with conviction. I was happy to see that this wasn't going to be a cat fight. Both women respected each other's opinions and gave each other time to speak. Neither side won or lost because it wasn't that kind of party. There was serious dialogue between two people with different points of view regarding the way they wore their extremely different hairstyles.

What I'm about to say might seem strange, especially after all I've said thus far, but bear with me. I really don't care if you wear a weave or not. I don't care how long or short it is or what color. However you want to represent yourself, I'm fine with that. Extensions and wigs are great and some of them I like. It shows the versatility and style of a woman. I have no problem with that. Like I said before, my mother wore wigs but this is what she did not do.....

My mother did not make wearing a wig a lifestyle. She didn't spend countless hours in a salon to change her identity. She did not waste money. She did not have to keep up with the Joneses. From her hair to her nails, she always looked, smelled, sounded, and acted like my mother. I told you that I really didn't care about you wearing weaves. What I do care about is "The Problem." How much time do you spend wearing it? If you wear weaves 10 percent of the time, I commend you. That's a healthy style change from your natural style. I can go along with that. If you spend 30 percent of your time wearing someone else's hair then you should now make an active decision to go back to the 10 percent ratio. If you find yourself wearing the weave, extensions, wigs and permanents for 50 to 70 percent of the time, you have an identity problem. Yes, I said it, you have an Identity Problem. Your mind-set wants to be someone else. That's dangerous on several levels. If you can't identify with the real you, the natural you, the way you looked when you entered this world, you have a problem.

Michael Jackson was a beautiful Black child but grew up hating his image. I was in the presence of Michael twice and it was the strangest encounter with another human being I ever experienced. Wait, that's book #4. Michael, as you know, went through several metamorphoses before he became a Black person who turned himself in the image he loves best. And let's just say, a light-skinned man of another race.

If you're wearing weaves, extensions and especially if your color choice for your hair is blonde and this is your image 100 percent of the time, you have an identity problem. I know you don't like what I'm saying, but someone has to blow the whistle and wake up workers.

That image is not you. Go back to the beginning of the book and look at the two images again and you will see the truth. The time you are spending looking like another race of people is where the problem lies. And all you have to do is stop and come back to us, your race, we love you and need you.

Time is everything. The more time you waste trying to be something you are not, it is time that can never be recovered. Think about all the good and fun times you could have spent with your family, especially your daughter--the time showing her how to take care of herself, how to braid her own beautifully naturally curly hair. Not nappy hair...take that word out of your vocabulary just as you should stop saying 'Nigger,' 'Bitch" and "Hoe." Wait, that's book #5.

When did those words become an acceptable way for us to speak to each other? You don't know do yah? Well, let me tell you...when the "Media" told you it was OK. Most of you might be too young to remember a situation comedy on CBS called "Maude." The show was about a cranky middle-aged suburban White lady who was the tough, bossy wife who ran over her husband. And that was supposed to be funny--well, until she used the word "bitch" on the show--until the "white" Media said it was OK. Until that day, believe it or not, the word bitch was never allowed on T.V. I was there and I heard it and was astonished. A White woman saying the "B" word and right after that, all the other words of negative connotation started popping up on all the other shows. It's called ratings, and ratings translate into viewership, and viewership means "Dollar Bills Yawl." It's not your fault. It's the mainstream Media's fault that opened up Pandora's Box, not yours. But now you have the responsibility to do what Michael Jackson said, "Make that Change." Mister man in the mirror, you can change your ways.

I see great things ahead for those of you who take this book to heart, especially in the romance department. The Black man wants you, all of you, all the time, but we can never be satisfied by you if there is an area on your person that is forbidden to us. Please meditate on that for a moment, I beg of you. The Media is after your minds but so are we, your Black man. Who will win? The decision is up to you.

### Let's Talk About "Good Hair and Bad Hair"

The only true bad hair is no hair as far as I'm concerned. I'm not talking about the result of cancer or some extreme cases of skin disease. I'm talking about the guy or gal whose hair simply fell out and they went bald. That's bad hair.

You have been duped from birth by your own mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, aunt or uncle that our own Black naturally curly hair should be labeled "nappy." I hate that word and you should too. You've heard it... the mother in the supermarket says with a loud vicious tone of voice, "Bring your nappy head over here." How about, "look at those naps," or "you're not going outdoors with all those naps." Sounds familiar doesn't it? And you expect your children to grow up with self-esteem after that brutal attack where they are totally innocent and defenseless.

Yep!... you should feel ashamed of yourself right about now. First of all, drop that word "nappy" from your vocabulary and let's find some new words, positive words that you can use in private and public to express yourself. How about naturally curly? "Bring your naturally curly head over here right now." Now didn't that sound and feel 1,000 percent better? Makes you want to smile doesn't it? The change in you has already begun. It is a change for the better, a better relationship with your friends and family the way it used to be when we respected one another and watched out for each other. Don't you want that for you, your family and community?

Now you're probably saying "what's all that got to do with my hair?" It is all about you, the total you, not just your hair. Take your family out of the equation and it all falls apart. The Media tried taking us out but couldn't do it because you were there catching our backs. Now it's after you. Scary isn't it? Afraid? Yes be very afraid. I'm giving you inside information that they don't want you to know. I pray I'm here long enough to write my next ten books. They will blow your mind.

If you want to protect the hair you have left, you must end this insanity you've begun. The average Black child is introduced to harmful relaxers, dyes and chemicals at age 4. And by age 25 they are exposed to approximately 60 different harmful chemicals. Do you realize the harm from prolonged exposure? In the upcoming chapters you will learn about the effects and believe me, you don't want to miss it. Your family's lives depend on it.

### The History of Black Hair in America

Since the time Blacks hit these shores, we have always had to deal with our Black hair in one way or another. I'm not concerned about how the slaves dealt with their hair. I guess they either cut it off or put it under a scarf or braided it. My concern is where and when did our Black hair get its negative terms and definitions. Did we start it or was it White America? Since I've been on this planet, I can't remember any positive adjectives to describe our Black hair. Let's examine a few.

It has been called ugly, coarse, brittle, fuzzy, tangled, hard, unmanageable, kinky, troubled, maze, bushy, naps and the all time favorite, nappy. There are almost as many negative slang stereotypes to describe our hair as there are to describe us. And you know how positive those are, lol. So I believe in order to accomplish this task of changing the mindset of Black Americans, we need to change the words we speak.

You see, words next to God are the most powerful things in the universe. Worlds were created by God speaking, not thinking, but speaking them into existence. I also believe that He wanted us to know that so we would pay attention to our words. You can't think someone to death, but you sure can talk them to death, lol. So what we're going to do is change the terminologies that we use to describe our beautiful Black hair so when the world knows that these negative connotations are used to describe our hair, they are offending us.

Here are the new words we will use in front of our friends, family, co-workers and especially children to describe our naturally Black hair. New terminology equals a new mindset.

Old: Nappy

New: Naturally tight and curly

Old: Kinky

New: Firm texture

Old: Ugly

New: Beautiful

Old: Unmanageable

New: Very manageable

Old: Naps

New: Curly "Q's"

Old: Hard

New: We have the softest hair in the world

Old: Tangled

New: It's tingled

Old: Fuzzy

New: Put some glasses on, my hair is tight

Old: Maze

New: That's a singing group

Old: Coarse

New: Puffy

I've used these positive words for years now and watch what happens when you begin using them. People will back up and some will even apologize because they didn't know that those words were offensive. So, stand up for yourself and your Black heritage.

Now you might want to think that you won't make a difference, but you will. You will not only make a difference but an IMPACT!!! Remember, it only takes one person to change the world. Will you be the one?

Madame C.J. Walker was the first self-made Black millionaire in America. She invented the straightening comb. I'm proud of her ingenuity, her success and business sense. But her invention was the beginning of the downfall of the Black woman's self image. Straight and burned hair is not us. Yes, it made the hair easier to manage, comb, and toss, but again that's not what I'm talking about. It gave the Black woman an alternate image of herself. Black women began to see themselves as their White counterpart. They now had straight hair that actually blew in the wind.

The Black man followed suit with the "kunk" or "process." Both were called permanent and for the life of me, I can't understand why. The permanent only lasted a few weeks until the new growth came back and they had to redo it. Don't you see the word "permanent" mind game played on us even back then. They should have called it "temporary." It would make more sense wouldn't it, but the Media wanted you to think that you would permanently look like them if you used the product.

In the 60s and 70s we really came into our own when natural hair was on the rise. The Vietnam War had a very special part to play in those days. The natural was our way of showing defiance to the White establishment. We wore naturals, Co-Co Puffs, braids, dreadlocks, Afros, and a host of other hairstyles. I was so very proud of our Black race. Then we had something of our own that they couldn't emulate or steal from us.

Then in a single day, it was over. The Media sent us a movie that defied belief with the impact that it made on the Black man in America. It was a movie called "Superfly." The star was a pimp called, of all things, "Priest" and he had long straight hair, wore a wide brimmed hat with floor-length coats, and that was that!

Naturals turned straight like magic and the movement was dead. We began to see the Black man wearing pink and blue magnetic rollers under hair nets in public. Some wore them in preparation to look "Fly" for another day or a more significant event. Remember when I said one man can change the world? Well, the Media played its cards perfectly and we haven't been the same since. If you haven't seen "Superfly," then don't. I don't want to inadvertently start another hair craze like that.

Let's fast forward to the year 2000. Now the Media was at it again, but this time it's the female, not just the Black women, but all women. That's maybe more than half the planet's population.

### Stop Hating Yourself and Calling it "Ghetto Fabulous"

Did you realize that we, the Black race, are the only and I mean only race on earth whose identity is predicated on everyone else's. Our hair texture is naturally curly not straight like the Asians, Whites, Hispanic, and Indian races. Don't shoot the messenger, just look around. Take a moment and really take a good look at yourself, a real hard look in the mirror and be honest. If you want the best example, start with Michael Jackson and let's go down from there. He completely changed his image. God said "let us make man after our own image," not "hey man, do your own thing." I'm familiar with the skin impairment "melanoma" and in all cases the skin is blotchy in several areas of the body, brown spots, and so on. In Michael's case his body parts, at least the parts I could see, were designed to make him look white. The skin, noise, chin, lips, and hair made him look like someone else. It seems that Latoya and Janet followed the same route. Michael was a beautiful child and young man. I know because I grew up in Chicago and went to see the Jackson 5 when they were on tour.

Now from these examples, check yourself out. What's happened to our race to make us hate our Black image so much? Ladies and gentlemen, the Media, that's right the Media. I will be the first to say that we have a very long way to go, especially now that our children have embraced the hip-hop generation with its sagging pants, low or no self-esteem and no future generation. But wait, that's book #6.

Be honest with yourself. It's the start of your deprogramming, but know this, that all is not lost. Self-hatred is usually a lifelong process. It's not overnight, but you can unplug yourself that quickly if you want to embrace your true beauty.

Now ask yourself the question, "What is my true beauty?" I'm glad you asked. The true beauty of the black African in America is "Family." Now we're not the Huxtables from "The Bill Cosby Show but we're far from the image that the Media portrays us to be. And we're all not gangsters and low-life dope fiends either.

The Black American helped build this great nation and don't you ever forget it!!! There's no greater sight to behold for me than a Black man walking down the street with his Black African queen by his side. Add some kids, a boy and girl, and you have family. The man can be confident in his role as provider and protector of his family, especially when he is determined and sure about the direction in which to accomplish any goal he sets for himself. The Black female is poised and ready to do whatever it takes to support her man with wisdom and honor. She's not afraid because her strength comes from a single belief in the family unit. The children are raised with loving care and affection, and they reciprocate by showing love to their parents and to one another. This is true beauty, the beauty of the mind, body and spirit, not this superficial world you're trying so desperately hard to emulate.

The Media wants you to desire the temporal beauty, the beauty that only last for a moment then it's gone. Beauty fades. You need to get back to the basics of life, home, family, honor, brotherhood, respect, courage, faith, hope and most of all love towards one another. It's time to stop worshipping this false idol called "Vanity." Enough time has been wasted in the mirror of deception. Turn it to the wall of common sense and come back my sister to what is real, life is real, love is real, joy is real, and family is real. The "Housewives" and the" Edge of Night" won't help you. Focus on the real, not the illusion of eternal beauty. There isn't any, except what lies within you!

Chapter 3

I Had an Epiphany

My definition by D.A. Ballinger,

"Epiphany": e- piph- a- ny (ih-pif-uh-nee) noun, plural e-piph-a-nies

The awakening of any idea, thought or dream suddenly visualized in a moment of time with complete and utter clarity.

Webster's Dictionary:

"Epiphany": e- piph- a- ny (ih-pif-uh-nee) noun, plural e-piph-a-nies

A sudden, intuitive perception of, or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

The reason I put my definition next to Webster's was to show you that by definition, a Black man's reasoning and conception of a thing, is just as good as another's. See what happens when you unplug, Do you feel me, do you feel me?

### Take the "Red Pill"

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream, well, I had an epiphany. I went to an all natural hair show in August 2010. It was the first time I had ever been to such an event. There were booths and tables selling everything from combs to lotions and potions. All of it was pertaining to the design of the natural Black hair. As I perused the festival, there was a brief interlude of speakers, and a lovely hair fashion show which highlighted some of the most beautiful hair designs I ever experienced. I was totally blown away. Black hair is everywhere, in every nation, street corner, province, country, district, the entire world. I was amazed how beautiful it is... so many shapes, styles, grades and textures.

I suddenly woke up! It was an amazing experience and it was like I had been blinded to the awe and beauty of my Black African queens. For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed of myself for letting society brainwash me like that. I was blind... I only wanted to see a Black woman on my arm with that long flowing hair, flying in the wind in slow motion like White women's hair did. How crazy was that? I was disrespecting every Black woman who ever lived, especially my mother and sisters. I wanted to cry but real men don't...another mind trip. That's book #7!

I knew at that moment that I had to do something to try to right this terrible wrong. I decided to do two things. One, whenever I saw a Black woman wearing her beautiful Black hair, I would tell her that it was so. And two, I would tell my Black brothers to do the same.

My pastor Dr. Frederick K.C. Price of Crenshaw Christian Center in Los Angeles said once, "If you find a wrong, don't complain about it, make yourself a party of one and start your own monument against it." That made so much sense to me because one man can make a difference. That event in my life actually changed my life for the better. It was like the movie "The Matrix." Neo was given a choice to take the "blue pill" and stay asleep forever and stay a sheep, non-existing person. Or he could take the "red pill" and learn the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about the real world in which he was playing a major part.

But he would never become any real use to the world unless he woke himself up out of his living nightmare. Now you have a similar choice to make. Will you stay asleep and continue with the imaginary image that the Media has sold you on or will you decide to make your way back to your real beautiful Black image, the image God made for you, not man? Take the Red Pill!!

### It's Time to Wake the "F" Up!!!

I know that the "F" is not going to sit too well with my pastor or the Christian community. I'm not talking to the enlightened ones who I hope still sport your beautiful natural image. If you don't then the shoe fits! The ladies I am talking to need a little shock treatment, a kick-start to the healing process. In the bible, God said, "I lay before you blessing and curses, life and death." Then God gives you the answer to the question. "I prefer you choose life." Simply, who wouldn't choose life? Only a fool would choose death.

Well here we go. If you choose the "red" pill then congratulations. You decided to take the first steps to unplugging yourself. The truth is we all have been brainwashed to hate our own self image and maybe even our own race. Love your beautiful Black hair. I do. Now don't get it twisted, nothing is wrong with a little change now and then. A wig here, a weave there because you want a little change. A little spice in your life is not the problem. What is wrong is when you wear the weaves and wigs 364 days a year. I gave you one day to open your eyes a little. If one day a year is all you give to be your natural self, then that's pathetic. Some of you ladies have children who have never seen their mother's or grandmother's natural hair. There is something very terrible and terrifying about that. Think about it. Why are we the only race that does that? Well, I did some research and my findings were most compelling.

### My Research Project

It took me six months but I talked to over 50 women very carefully about their reasoning for wearing certain styles of hairpieces, weaves versus wigs, and so on. All the while I was leading up to one question, "When do you wear your natural hairstyle?" The responses were very intriguing. Eight percent said once in a while, 3 percent said once or twice a year and the remaining 89 percent said never. And that's when I asked why. Almost all of them gave me the same answer, "Black men don't like me when I wear my natural hair. They never talk to me until I throw on my long flowing hair. Black men just don't approach me when I wear my natural hair." I immediately asked who told them that. And just as quickly, they would reply, "It's not what you say, it's what you don't say. Black men never compliment us when we wear our natural hair." That is when everything became clear. I realized that the fault lies not only with our Black women but at the very feet of the Black male.

You see ladies, that's why I was given this assignment to bring this book to you. I'm old-school and I'm from Chicago as well and believe me, we were taught at a very young age how to treat women, any women. We were taught that you said yes ma'am and no ma'am, open the car door or any door for a lady. You bring flowers, not excuses, you pull your weight on a date, a man pays and so on. I have been bamboozled by mainstream Media. I swallowed the hook, line and sinker into believing the lie that a woman is my play thing and only good for one thing for that. I sincerely apologize. Well ladies, it's a new day and I'm here to say "I love you and I want you to know how much I care." I'm here to say "I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart." Thanks Stevie.

I was also taught that the man leads, he's not a boss but he does lead himself and then his family. And his help-meet is the woman he loves and she loves him. It is a shame that we've somehow usurped our responsibilities towards one another for the quick fix or "I'll just turn a blind eye to that, better him than me."

I saw an episode of the Tyra Banks Show and I couldn't believe my ears when a woman was on the show, sitting there nervous, even terrified. It was not because she was being abused or beaten by her husband, not that she cheated on her man, now ready to unveil the living lie. No it wasn't that she believed he was cheating and didn't want to lose him to another woman. No, it wasn't that she cheated on him with a down low Black man who gave her AIDS and she's afraid she gave it to her husband and both of them on the highway to heaven. No...not even close, none of those scenarios. This woman was on the show trembling because she was afraid of what she would look like when she finally returned to her natural hairstyle. She was terrified of what her husband would say or do when, for the first time in his life, he would see his wife of 5 years wear her natural hair.

People of color, again there is something so very wrong here. This is not a random event. There must be thousands of you out there. It is so pathetic on so many levels that I don't know where to begin. An entire race is afraid of their natural hair.

I've never been married but when I do you can bet your bottom dollar that my significant other and I will sit down and layout the good and bad areas of our lives before we consummate marriage. It just seems like the right thing to do. After all you have to trust this person with your life, money, home and children. This woman married a man and vice-versa and never gave him a second thought in regards to allowing him to see her true image.

Let's switch it around. Let's say it's the wedding night and they both have a passionate night of lovemaking. She gets up and goes to the bathroom the next morning only to discover a full set of dentures (upper and lower) in a glass of water on the sink. Ladies, be honest, what would you think of a man who lied to you all that time. Oh yea ladies, it's a lie when you purposely withhold vital information. It's not being cute. It's not a little white lie. No it's a lie. Your makeup is not a lie, your false eyelashes are not a lie, your fake nails are not a lie, your false breast or rear-end are not a lie. Why? Because we can see it and we make our own determination about if we're going to deal with it or not. Most men will deal with it because most are only after one thing and you'll be surprise what we have to put up with to get it. LOL. Wait! That's book #8. Lying and deception is wrong and you know it... at least now you do.

By the way, when the lady did her natural hair makeover, she was "FINE," I mean she looked a 1,000 times better and her radiance returned to her body. When her husband saw it, he was elated and I'm sure that their lovemaking took on a whole new meaning, joy and freedom. Now that's a free man and a free woman. She simply unplugged herself.

### The Paradigm Shift

I remember a time when women dressed to the Max. They put on nylon hosiery with the garter belts, very chic hip-hugging knee length skirts with a silk blouse and matching jacket. They topped the whole thing off with a pillbox hat and pearls. Those were the days when they really knew how to dress for a man.

It's now 2012 and almost a hundred years have passed, and boy things have changed. In this day and age of cell phones, microwaves and satellites, women have changed with the times. Some of the changes have been for the best. Women have the right to vote, have run and won major offices in government and have gone into outer space. I think the major change for women has been their freedom in fashion. Ladies dress a whole lot different these days. I have seen the mini shift to the micro-mini, come and go, dresses with slits, to see-thru gown. But women have really outdone themselves when it comes to hairdos.

Wigs were the rage in the 50s, caught fire in the 60s, but now in the 2000s, its extensions and weave. Women can have it all – long, dark hair in the day and straight, long and blonde at night. There are all kinds and assortments of styles, colors, shapes and sizes. For the longest time I thought all this muss and fuss was for me, the male of the species. Boy did I get a real awakening when I discovered that a "paradigm shift" had taken place somewhere back in time and nobody told me. The paradigm shift I'm speaking about is when women cease dressing for the attention of men but for other women.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about any lesbian action here. Oh no. Women dress to impress other women. It's some kind of fashion war. Who looks the best in that dress, blouse, skirt, jacket, jeans or hair styles. From head to toe, they must win the battle each day or suffer such indignities.

Women are competing to outshine the other. The bible simply calls it "vanity." Vanity, vanity, it's all vanity and a sin according to the bible. I wonder if they know or even care. In this day and age, the "S" word isn't used much. People want to do their own thing, but it doesn't seem that anything is getting any better. I now understand a great piece of the puzzle. Women have come full circle and the game is to look better than anyone else and my self-esteem will sustain me, at least for a day or two. Ladies, the more I peel back this onion, the more diabolical the layers become. I've only touched the surface concerning the Media and its insidious plan to impregnate the minds of the American public. As you free yourself from the shackles of your mind, don't forget your purpose to free others.

### The Greatest Brainwashing Job in the History of Mankind

How do you get an entire race of people to hate their image so much, that they would try to change into another? That's a great question and even I can't answer it fully but I'm going to give it my best shot. You start with the woman, because women steer the family, the man leads, but the woman steers. There's a difference. Imagine a captain standing on the deck of a ship. He only has to lead, give an order and the wheelman steers the ship. Rarely does the captain steer the ship. Since the Media knows this better than I, it aims its guns at the woman, then at her children. If the woman is happy, then the children are happy thus the man feels he has done his job well. The Media makes its plans well in advance from day to day, month to month and year to year. It sets in motion such an onslaught of visual and audio psycho-babble to get you to walk, talk, think, and believe anything it spits out. You hardly have a chance.

The Black woman is portrayed in many roles and Media chooses them at will. Sometimes she's the loving mother, other times a hollering shrew. Sometimes she's a loving companion and other times a diabolical, screaming temptress. So when she takes on these various characters in her reality, the male counterpart is found wanting. He's not the Ivy League she saw on "As the World Turns" and his checkbook isn't even close to Tom's on "The Edge of Night." So what does she do? Good question. The Media then pretends to be her best friend, confidante and in some cases her lover and you know what I mean by that, so don't trip! It tells her to go out and shop, be your own best friend. A new hairstyle will do the trick. The plot thickens. Long and curly, maybe some new color for your eyes and don't forget to dye the hair blond for god sakes. I don't want to look like the real me after spending all that money. After ten hours of shopping, primping, styling, fittings, sets, blow drying, nail replacement, extensions, make-up, new eyelashes and God only knows what else--there she is Miss America!! No Miss Black America, not Miss Black Afro America, No. She looks as close as she can to her White counterpart.

Why is that? Shouldn't you come home looking like a beautiful Black woman? Catching on? Now from what I have noticed is that the Media has this game plan set to get the full attention of the person who steers the ship of the family. As long as the woman stays on this course, she will never change back to what she is, a beautiful Black African queen. So there will never be any Black African kings to deal with. Do you get it now? The bible speaks about "line upon line, precept upon precept." This plan is generational. Each daughter will follow the exact path of the mother in most cases. Generation after generation of wanna-be Latoyas, Janets and Beyonces. So ladies, mothers, daughters, and sisters, I implore you to stop "Searching for Tomorrow," to be "Bold and Beautiful" today because the Media is out to destroy the minds and will of our race. As sure as the "World Turns" it has not had our best interest at heart. So stop being "Young and Restless" and naïve to the fact that we must unplug ourselves from this "Guiding Light" of distraction called... the Media.

### Weaves, the Black Contraceptive

There are so many contraceptives on today's market and I don't think I could name them all. There is the IUD, the day after pill, condoms and let's not forget the all working birth control pill. But there is a little-known about, best Black contraceptive of all, the weave. Now you're probably saying to yourself, "What the hell is he talking about?"

Well let me explain by telling you a little story. There once was a man who met a lady named Shaniqua in a bar. They seemed to hit it off really well. Later that evening Shaniqua wanted to go home, his home, for some adult recreational sports. The man agreed and off they went. He lived in a townhouse in a very nice neighborhood. Shaniqua was thrilled because she had never seen a townhouse, let alone been in one.

The evening was set for romance and lovemaking, the champagne was properly chilled. The lights were turned down low, the sheets where scented and made of fine silk. Candles were lit near the bedposts to accentuate the atmosphere. The two were in a heated, passionate and loving embrace. The man looked into her eyes as he softly caressed her firm breasts. Her tongue went up and down his hairy chest. Suddenly, he thrust her down onto the bed, all the while running his hands across her sensuous body. The lovemaking and foreplay went on for hours, but now was the time for amoré. That's French for "love" or "sex." Now was the time to thrust it in her with all the power and passion of a man gone wild. He grabbed her head with both hands and suddenly she let out a scream that could be heard for two blocks. It broke the heated atmosphere and she yelled out "Don't Touch My Hair."

He was flung backwards off the bed onto the floor. In a terrified voice he asked, "What's wrong?" Shaniqua, with a calm and subdued voice said, "You never touch a Black woman's weave... I mean hair." Needless to say, the party was over.

This is a true story by the way... I know. I was there. Every since that night, I have problems in that area when I see a weave on a woman. Going limp is not the problem as you might expect. Oh No... just the fear of touching a weave turns me off. Now I know I'm not the only guy that this happens to, so take this statement to heart. Can you imagine how many Black children were not conceived because the Black man isn't allowed to totally lose himself with his Black female companion any longer? How many unsatisfied and frustrated Black women are out there who can't understand why their loving Black man or husband can't let themselves go completely with her, their mate? Most men will never tell you this hidden secret... well, I just did. Think about it.

You see, there's another reason why Black men go after other races. We can be all we can be with them. No inhibitions, no limitations, we can touch them from head to toe. Now ladies, put yourselves in our shoes. Imagine if you will that you could touch the Black man anywhere except his right elbow. The right elbow is off limits. You can never touch it, no matter how sexy you are, no matter how great you are in bed. Get the picture? Nobody wants to be off limits. Do you, especially to your lover? Now let me drop the real bomb...ready? It's by design. The Media has sold you another bill of goods my Black sista. It's got you thinking that all the Black man wants is long blonde hair, all the while knowing the negative effect it would make on the Black relationship. That means less romance and love making, thus less Black kids, about 8.9 percent less to my estimation.

There is the Black murder rate, two million Black men incarcerated or on the down low, not to mention homosexuality, which only now the Black woman is just realizing is not a joke in Black America anymore. Top that off with AIDS, high blood pressure, heart disease and cancer. Include all the contraceptives, and abortions. I estimate the Black race should be extinct by 2212 and by the way folks, it's all by design. Wait, that's book #9.
Chapter 4

The 8,000 lb. Gorilla in the Room

White women have and forever will be the 8,000 lb. gorilla in the room whenever a Black man is even seen with one. It doesn't matter if she's a friend, co-worker, ditch digger, your nurse, doctor, boss or employee. Whenever a Black man is talking to one, he's always perceived from the Black woman's perspective as a "Sell out." I have to deal with many races in my business and private life. I'm seen with almost every race of women on earth. I'm associated with East Indian, Asian, Hispanic and even Jewish women, but when I'm around an Anglo-Saxon, White female, look out. Black women can give you that certain look that speaks volumes to a brother. Even long after she leaves the room, it makes me feel like I've done something to her personally. I can only imagine what's going through your minds. I'm here to say right here and right now, put down your shotgun. Not every brother is trying to date a White woman and vice-versa. We really need to deal with this matter before we go on because she's the dominate factor in this equation and you can never solve the problem without all the variables.

So let's take a hard look at what's happening here. The image of the White woman is everywhere you turn--from a box of cornflakes to Vogue magazine, the reality TV shows to internet porn. She has invaded every nook and cranny of our lives. No wonder why we still eat Wonder Bread. So let's get down to the nitty gritty. It seems as though Black men have been instinctively favoring the White women over the Black. It seems that since the Black man is after the White women, the Black woman has no other choice but to try to look as much like her White counterpart to get or keep the attention of the Black man.

Is this a fact or does it just seem that way? Well ladies, I'm here to tell you that "the apple does not fall too far from the tree." I have just described one of the most insidious plots and schemes that the Media is playing on us all. Of course some Black men have tasted the "forbidden fruit" and love it, but what's wrong with that if it's true love? Since love is the most powerful thing in the universe, no one knows who you will fall in love with, that's just the way it is here on planet Earth. So ladies, I just wanted you to know that I understand the pressure you're under to keep up with the Media's brainwashing of the Black women in America.

Ladies if you think that long, flowing fake hair and extravagant fake nails and overflowing fake eyelashes and pounds of makeup is the Black man's turn on, it's NOT!! It's not. The real Black man might push up on you for a minute but believe me ladies, we're looking for mom. Oh no!! I said it. Yes he's looking for mom just like you're looking for daddy. Some of you even call your man daddy...OK?, especially when you're making love. I know, so don't get it twisted. I said that to say this. The Black man doesn't want a momma, but we do want a loving, nurturing, truthful, kind, understanding, patient, helpful and wise woman. She is someone we can truly share our secrets with.

You might be waiting to exhale but we're waiting to share. Ladies listen up. This is the part of the book you've been waiting to hear, how to get and keep your man. Wait, that's book #10. It's not rocket science sistas. It's not a conspiracy. It's a very simple thing, return home. Come back to us, the women that we can trust and love, because every time you put on that other person, Black men see a lie. How can we really love a lie?

### Black Men: It's Broke--It's Time to Fix It

Men did you know what the number one thing all women want, need, crave and literally cannot live without or she will die spiritually, mentally and physically? Now you would think first of all it would be money. No, not at all. Money is only a by-product and a means to an end to get things she might desire.

Love by far might be the closest answer to the question, but that's not it either. Security for her and family, well that's number two but you're getting warmer. The thing a woman needs and cherishes above all other feelings, wants or needs is ATTENTION. She will do almost anything to get it, even risk her life for it.

Think back to that big game, the one you were waiting for all year between the Pittsburg Steelers and the New York Jets. It's third down of the final play and the score is tied 16 to 16. The ball was snapped and all of a sudden she walked in front of you, sat on your lap and said, "Hey baby, what you doing?" Her attention factor completely turned on and that was that. She had to have it now. Attention to a woman is like crack to a crack addict. The Media knows this all too well and placates to her every whim 24 hours a day, through movies, radio, magazines, cable, newspapers and music.

Have you ever wondered why singers sell more records to women than men? Or didn't you know that? Women are audio beings and men are visual.

Check this out. The Media tells her what a man wants to see, what she thinks will make her look good and the next day, she's got it on. Men aren't from Mars and women aren't from Venus, it just seems that way. Men and women have very simple needs when you get right down to it. Men want sex and affection and women want attention and security. When both are satisfied, a true balance called happiness is achieved.

Men, I've brought you to this point so you will understand the "healing process." It's very simple and you will enjoy doing it. The only critical factor you must observe is when to apply the healing process. Men, we must start telling our Black women how good they look in their natural hair each and every one of them that you see. That's it. It must be a sincere and honest compliment. A woman's radar is always tuned in for B.S., remember that. She knows the difference between a come-on and a compliment. I give these compliments all the time, anywhere I go, at the mall, the grocery store, standing in line at the bank, at the opera (yeah brothers, I go to the opera, you should try it sometimes), and the park. The best time is when she's with several of her girlfriends and you will just make her day. You're not talking to all of them, just her, the natural one.

Now that's when you have to be very careful, because we're not out to hurt, we're out to heal. I believe if we do this long enough and strong enough, our beautiful Black women will return to us. Don't do it and we will lose her to the mass Media of her mind. The sisters out there believe that we're in love with straight long hair but nothing could be further from the truth. Brothers we broke the trust, bond and confidence our Black women had in us to support them.

The Media saw this too and started bombarding them with unreal images of themselves as well as what Black men really find attractive and alluring. Then the Media turned its ugly agenda on Black men wanting other men. Haven't you noticed that many of the strong Black male movie stars have been put into dresses or portray gay images. The down low became real popular after the Oprah Show for a while with all this drama concerning the Black male's sexuality. No wonder Black women are confused.

The Black woman has been doing a balancing act with Black men ever since they brought us over here. You see ladies, I hope you never got the impression that I was against you. On the contrary, I'm 100 percent behind and in front of you. If you left this planet today, I would be following you tomorrow. You are my shining light during my waking and sleeping hours. Well, let's just say, you are the star in my dreams. I love the Black woman and my prayers are with you always. I hope you are praying for us. We still need it.

Well guys, you have your orders and I pray that you carry them out to the best of your abilities. Our women need to hear from us sincerely. Make yourself a party of one and make that change. And ladies, get the brothers to read this chapter if nothing else.

### What Price for Glory?

The bible says, "But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her. For her hair is given to her for a covering." (Source: New King James Bible). Keywords here are "her hair" not from the store and certainly not from another human being, dead or alive. Now, that's not to say that women with short hair are out of the mix. Let's keep it real, your body is growing hair 24 hours a day, all your life.

If it wasn't cut or broken off or something like that, we would all have long hair. This book is really not about how long or short your hair is, that's not the problem in Black America. My mission is to bring to light some startling news that you yourselves are not even aware of. Let's talk price, or the cost of looking good. I've gone to hair salons and beauty shops all over the country and the same thing rings true in every case. The price in dollars that you pay to change your appearance is insane. I really can't believe the cost of your hair cuts, permanents, press and curls, relax jobs, blow jobs (you know what I mean), wash and sets, conditioners, gels, oils, lotions and potions... the list is almost endless. Tyra Banks said it herself that she pays over $20,000 per year for just her weaves. Now you know why I call this book "UNBEWEAVEABLE."

Now here's an interesting side note. I asked some of the ladies where they got the money to pay for all this attention. Beauty salons don't do lay-a-way or installments. When a woman wants a $5,000 hair job, she pays cash on the line. Some of the ladies have said this to me, straight up... my man. I know this is not the rule, women have had their own money every since they burned their bras in the 60s, but let's look at the statistics. Black people make up only about 8 percent of America but 33 – 35 percent of all hair products in the U.S. are purchased by Black people. It's a $9 billion dollar industry and hair weaves account for 65 percent of all hair care services. (Source: Michigan Feminist Study).

In a recession, the likes of which we've never known before, where are Black women getting all this money? Think about this, is there really a recession? Did we once again buy into the hype of American Media? STOP! That's book #11.

The weave, hair extensions and wig sales are still on the rise with no appearance or hint of decline. That's good, that's business and everyone deserves to make a profit. This book is not about the quality of the hair you buy, but the quantity of time you spend wearing it.

Have you ever taken a moment and looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, what do I really look like? I've haven't seen the real me in a long, long time. Understand this ladies, men are not as naïve as you might think. We see what you're doing to yourselves to look good and we appreciate it, but enough is enough. The Media has its claws on you and they have no plans of ever letting you go! You're making them too much money.

Here are some words you might have heard your grandmother say: modesty, demure, classy, stylish, vogue, gracious, charming, graceful, elegant, proud, ravishing, gorgeous, beautiful, honorable, trustworthy, and virtuous. And 95 percent of those words don't even fit the women of today. You've never heard them in your household because your teenage mother never taught them to you because her mother neglected to pass them down to her. I guess she was too busy spending time getting a 10 hour weave job.

You see ladies, everything is relevant and it's called "cause and effect." For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. As each generation simply decides that they are too busy or grown to listen to their elders and elect to do their own thing, much wisdom is lost. Watered down wisdom creates unwise individuals. There are unwritten laws and rules we all must adhere to as well as the written, like honoring our parents, respecting elders and cherishing their wisdom. You need to put this book down right now and call your grandparents and say thank you.

Loving your children and teaching them to love others, being kind, watching your mouth because some of you ladies are out of control. Treat others as you would want to be treated and stop stressing over (dramatizing) every little thing. It will keep you from getting high blood pressure. Trust me on this.

Money does not grow on trees as we all know. So be wise with it. You're supposed to hold and control the purse strings. Ladies be honorable, forthright and be the one with her head on straight. In my day, a woman could be trusted to do the right thing for herself, and the welfare of the family (not the welfare you're thinking about). You must return to us soon because we're lost without you. This fanaticism over looks has now become critical. Examine yourself and try to image yourself natural. Go back and start all over. I dare you. You will love what you find. You will find you, the real you.

### Dying for a New Look

Women all over the world are using all kinds of chemical-based products to achieve all types of styles, shapes and colors. On the most part women don't realize the harm they are doing when using these harmful chemicals. Ladies, I want to remind you again that this book is designed more for your well-being than anything else. I want all of you to be aware of the pitfalls that await you with the use of chemical relaxers, dyes, tints and even shampoos and conditioners.

We all perish from a lack of knowledge, so says the King James Bible. I find that sound and reasonable advice, advice to live by. Don't let this book be your only resource of knowledge. You might find this chapter a bit clinical, but I didn't do all this research for you alone. I did it for your children and you children's children. It starts or ends with you. You must learn and use the information so you can pass it on. Generations are waiting for you to be the woman, sister, daughter and mother and hopefully great-grandmother you ought to be, bestowing knowledge.

Let me say right now that I am not telling you to stop using anyone's products. That's why I'm not using brand names, only the ingredients that some are using that is harmful to you and your family. You can draw your own conclusions and make an informed decision on whether to use them or not.

Most of the following chemicals, some 425 of them are banned for use in Europe, but not in the United States. These chemicals penetrate all 7 layers of the skin and enter into your bloodstream. Make no mistake about that, they're in your body right now and your children as well. It only takes about 22 – 30 seconds for these chemicals to reach all of your vital organs, kidneys, liver, and spleen. Your skin and most of all your hair are also adversely affected. Some of the chemicals I'm going to list you are already familiar with and the ones you don't know about please look them up for yourself. Don't just take my word for it. You should want to be proactive and self-aware.

" **Dedicated to all the Beauticians in the house"**

All doctors must take and oath. It's called the Hippocratic Oath,"to do no harm" After you read the following chapter you're not going to be libel but you will be responsible, to do no harm. You might want to skip the following chapter.

### Label Reading 101: Chemicals that are Harmful

Petroleum (Petrolatum) – Paraffin and Mineral Oil.

These are what the industry calls fillers, something to give the product weight so you think you're getting 16 or 32 ounces of conditioner with aloe vera. They only need a drop of aloe to fulfill their marketing claim. I'm not saying they do that, but draw your own conclusion once again. Fillers like these have molecules which are too large to penetrate the skin, so what it does is block the follicles of the hair and scalp preventing it from breathing. It costs the manufacturers only seven cents a gallon on the average. So you can see why they use so much of it.

Isopropyl Alcohol

Isopropyl alcohol can cause dizziness, vomiting, mental depression, itching and comas. This substance can be found in baby rubs, hand lotion, after shave cream, fragrances and cosmetics.

Mineral Oil

Mineral oil is 100 percent used in baby oils. It can clog up the pores like a sort of plastic wrap covering or cutting off the pores to necessary oxygen intake, thus causing skin irritation as well as impeding the body to release toxins from the body. The toxins are trapped in the body which forces the skin to permanently age.

Fragrance

Fragrances are present in almost all of our detergents, shampoos, sunscreen, skin care products and perfumes. Many of the compounds in fragrances are carcinogenic and otherwise toxic. Fragrances on a label can indicate the presence of up to 4,000 separate ingredients, most of them are synthetic.

Symptoms reported to the FDA have included: headaches, dizziness, rashes, skin discoloration, violent coughing, vomiting and allergic skin irritation. Clinical observations by medical doctors have shown that constant exposure to fragrances can affect the nervous system, causing depression, hyperactivity, irritability, inability to cope and other behavioral changes. (Source: Home Safe Home).

So when you or your family members start having behavioral issues or acting irrational, and you want to put them on drugs, think about detoxing them first. I will have more information on detoxification later on.

Imidazolidinyl Urea and DMDM, Hydantoin

According to the Mayo Clinic, these two preservatives have been known to release formaldehyde. Exposure to formaldehyde may cause joint pain, allergies, depression, headaches, chest pain, ear infections, chronic fatigue, dizziness, and loss of sleep. It can also aggravate coughs and colds, and trigger asthma. Serious side effects include weakness of the immune system and cancer.

I have given you an appetizer to get your juices going because I haven't even scratched the surface. It's imperative that you go right now to your bathroom and get 3 to 4 items that you're using on your body and hair. I'm going to teach you how to read labels. Labels are so very important, especially the portion that lists the main or active ingredients. Remember and share this with your family and friends.

Whenever you read the active ingredients of a product label, the first 2 or 3 ingredients is what the product is primarily composed of, the rest are basically lower in grade of each ingredient. When a product has aloe, coconut, almonds, avocado, or whatever special claim, you will find them mostly at the bottom of the ingredient list because it costs the manufacturer money to put a lot of real, healthy ingredients in their products. Remember what I said early. All they have to do is put one drop of that special, healthy ingredient in to make them compliant. But they still charge a higher price for those so-called premium products.

Now you know what to look for. You can now call yourself an informed consumer. Fun isn't it. Well, it gets better. Let's go on.

Pariben

Pariben is a known carcinogen that is linked to cancer. It's in cosmetics and our food.

BHA / BHT

BHA / BHT are synthetic antioxidants that become toxic because of the chemical twotulion.

DN Hanitomion

DN Hanitomion is a derivative of formaldehyde, the substance used to embalm dead bodies. Are they trying to tell us something or what?

FD & C Color Pigment

Many color pigments cause skin sensitivity and irritation. Absorption of certain colors can cause a depletion of oxygen in the body and even cause death. According to the consumer's dictionary of ingredients, colors can be found in cosmetics, drugs and food.

Now hear this, there are hundreds of harmful chemicals in our products. It is up to you now to do your homework, but there's one product you need to start with right now. I think Roberta Flack said it best, "Killing Me Softly." It's your shampoo. It's the most common place product in your home and the most dangerous on the market today. Some people use this product everyday and don't have a clue as to its destructive nature. It's linked to low sperm count in men, beginning at birth to adulthood. Back in the 50s, sperm counts were at least 100,000 units, and down to 5,000 units today because the chemicals in shampoos are estrogen mimics. They work like estrogen. Girls are now reaching puberty at a much earlier age due to the same chemicals. These are the most harmful chemicals in shampoos that you should try your best to avoid.

Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or Sodium Laureth Sulfate

These can be cancer causing agents. When shampooing, they penetrate your skin as well as your brain and enter the bloodstream. Dioxins are carcinogens which are endocrine disrupters and can not be metabolized by the liver, so they just keep building up and over a period of time all types of illnesses attack the body.

Just so you know, sodium lauryl sulfate is an industrial compound used in garage floor cleaners, engine degreasers and car wash soaps. It will breakdown and denature protein and that's exactly what it does to your skin.

Parabens is a preservative commonly found in shampoos and it is a carcinogen, endocrine disrupter. A study has shown that 94 percent of breast cancer cells contain parabens. It can build up in the fatty tissue for years.

Avoid anything with sulfates in them. I remember I used to put that crap on my head to make my hair grow, but now that I know better, I can do better. It also has the potential to cause the eyes to become underdeveloped, and later in life develop cataracts.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're wondering why your hair isn't as long, rich and thick as in your younger years, sulfates inhibit the growth of hair. So these are the chemicals to watch out for in your shampoo or anything for that matter.

Laureth, PEG, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sulfates, Parabens

These chemical compounds are harmful and toxic. And I guess you're wondering what the FDA, our so-called watch dog, is doing. He's asleep or he's with them. We're on our own.

I was made aware of a product I use sometimes three times a day. I couldn't believe my ears so I checked it out for myself. I use and you use a product that if swallowed, you must, and I quote, "if accidently swallowed, get medical help or contact a poison control center right away." That statement you just read is on the back of every type of toothpaste on the market today. The active ingredient is stanousfluoride 0.454% (0.16% w/v fluoride ion). If they're telling me that much fluoride can poison me, then why is it on the market? It's really time to unplug.

### No Bragging Rights

I was enjoying an event in the park one day when suddenly a lady showed up with her little girl who was around 5-years-old. I noticed the little girl's hairstyle right away. It was braided and adorned with all sorts of things. She had 10 to 15 braids which hung down into a ponytail. Each row of braids was adorned with beads of various colors along with strategically placed feathers. It was a beautiful sight to behold and when I took a closer look at her mother, she wore her hair in the same style. They were absolutely the most beautiful twosome in the park. The little girl was the bell of the ball and her mother was smiling from ear to ear. Well she should have because she earned the bragging rights to do so. It must have taken hours to do what she did for herself and her little daughter.

In that brief moment in time, it was well worth it to see a child get so much attention, and it surely built-up her self-esteem. It is quite possible that she will remember the experience for a lifetime.

Ladies I hope you're getting the point. The more you defer to spending time with your children in such a manner is giving them real quality time. By slapping on a wig, weave or extensions you actually give up bragging rights. The right to say "hey check this out, I did this." Do your children's hair, so when they go out into the world they're prepared and able to groom themselves. They learn this from you. Did you know that almost everything in life, other than breathing, is learned?

I can talk from experience that yes, men are giving women less and less compliments. I will be the first to say that a lot of you ladies out there are looking good but I will be also first to say, "What can I compliment you on?" "Oh your wig really looks good" or "you really have some long and pretty extensions." I certainly can't say how soft to the touch it is because it's not yours. And for the very same reason, you don't want me to touch it. This is madness with a capital "M" the wig, weave, the extensions, nails, eyelashes, sometimes even the eye color aren't even real, and I love sexy eyes.

Do you see where I'm going with this ladies, can you feel me. It was OK when you did a touch here and there but enough is enough. Believe me when I say, we want to brag on you, we also want to brag on you to our boys but how can we? So be very aware that you're taking away our bragging rights as well--the right for every Black male to take pride in his beautiful Black woman.

Ladies please realize that our culture doesn't have much but what we do have is our pride and self respect. They can't take that away from us but we can give it away. Men of any value will automatically be turned off by a fouled mouth woman. The bible says, "The uncontrollable tongue, who can know it." I think it should say, "Who wants to know it?" Wait, that's book #12. My goal it to elevate you to a higher height concerning the impact your words make on others. Control ladies, you must learn control and remember your children are watching your every move.

### Change Your Words and Change Your World

Changing your hairstyle is only the first step to the new you. You must realize that your decision to return to the natural you will be an upward climb. It's taken years to give you the mindset that you have about yourself today. You will have to learn your way back. Let's start with your eating habits because I want you to examine your daily menu. What are you feeding our future Kings and Queens, this generation and I don't mean Burger King either. The table you set today will determine their longevity upon this earth. Start by reading healthier eating cookbooks and for those who have a challenge in the reading department, you can go to the internet. There are tons of videos on the subject. Check out what your White counterpart is feeding her children. Now I know we don't eat the same kind of food, so take the good examples and leave the rest. Go to the library and do your own research. Your family will thank you for it. Set a table that is fit for a king and you can't miss.

Get back to the herbs and vitamins please. Herbs help heal the body of all types of diseases that attack and kill the body everyday and you didn't even realized that you were ever sick. Get off the prescription and over-the-counter drugs as soon as you can. They have harmful side effects as you well know. Get back to the basics. Get back to taking herbs. I can hear you now, "I don't know a thing about herbs and vitamins." All this information can be found on the internet and the best part is that it's Free. We're in the 21st century now so leave your excuses at the door. Go to Google, search engines, YouTube and Twitter. There are millions of people out there who have answers. It's on video and audio....so no excuses please. Your life and the well-being of your family depend on you.

Ladies your style of dress could use a little improvement as well. The representation of the new you should reflect that change. Now I'm not saying thay you need to go out and buy some African attire. No, but it wouldn't hurt you either. When you shop, keep the new you in mind, the one who walks to a different drummer, someone who wants her clothing to say "respect me" and you will get respect. Think about your regal hairstyle and not the latest fashion craze. Modesty is always a good place to start, because when a man looks at a woman he sees several things and what he sees is all up to you. Does he see a "Hoochie" just ripe for the picking or a lady of class and style? What does he see? What did you wear to attract him?

The bible says "what goes in the mouth does not defile a person, it's what comes out." Ladies, can we talk? It's quite apparent that the English language must be getting a bad rap because you're not using it much anymore. The worse kind of woman or man, for that matter, is the one with the uncontrollable tongue. The language you use to describe each other is intolerable to say the least. Foul language was never and will never be the acceptable way to communicate in a civilized culture (keyword "Civil"). The person who uses foul language, especially the Black female, diminishes the light that you are given at birth. I never thought that I would live to see the day when our young girls and boys would have such disrespect for themselves, especially their elders.

I was in a store a year ago when four young ladies entered and what was coming out their mouths was intolerable. They were saying "MF" this and "MF" that, bitch this and bitch that at the top of their lungs. So I took it upon myself to confront them about it and the next few moments were most compelling. I asked them a simple question, "Do you like calling each other bitch and hoes?" Their reply was an immediate, "No." "Then why do you do it? I asked. They had such embarrassed looks on their faces and I almost wanted to let them off the hook. "Well we don't really mean anything by it," one replied.

I told them that respect is very important in life and every time you choose to use profanity in public, you're throwing your rights out the window. It shows that you have no respect for me, the mothers and fathers here in the store and especially the little children. They apologized to me and that was that. We went our separate ways. I believe all the blame here isn't on them. We as adults have let this sort of behavior go on for too long without checking them. They really want your direction and advice but if we're too intimidated or fearful of our own children to do so, well we have a serious problem.

We are given certain birthrights when we enter this world but we don't speak of them much now-a-days. One such birthright is self-respect. Don't give it away by the way you use your tongue. People judge whether or not to socialize with you, give you a job or consider you for a mate. I want to elevate you to the highest heights and that will never happen if you think that words don't count, they do! If you don't believe me, try cursing out your boss tomorrow and see what happens.

Control ladies and gentlemen, you must learn control. Remember your children are watching and they do what you do. I can't express this strong enough and if you don't have this disease called diarrhea of the mouth, then I wasn't talking to you.

Words are a powerful tool because words are thoughts and thoughts are literately things. They manifest into the things you speak about the most. If you speak poverty all the time, then that's what you will get. If you speak prosperity and wealth, then that's what you will get. So examine yourself, think back and ask yourself, "Do I complain and gripe all the time or do I speak positive affirmations and look on the brighter side of a situation?"

"People perish for a lack of knowledge" so the bible says, and it's true. So I'm going to share some real knowledge with you. Words are so powerful, that they can provoke so many feelings to the listener. Have you ever noticed that? We can induce positive and negative reactions, sadness and rage, hope and happiness. If all you use day by day is "MF" this and "Bitch" that, you will actually attract people like that into your life. Change your words and change your world. Let's try to deal with some solutions now that we know the problem. Start visiting libraries. They have all sorts of books that teach positive motivation techniques, audio and video word power recordings that teach you things you never knew existed.

If you start building up your vocabulary you will find that your mind will automatically use the words, but the best resource is the dictionary. Slang and foul language comes from low self esteem and ignorance. If you have good self esteem, you will care how people perceive you and you would act accordingly.

I remember the day my mother caught me cursing. I felt so bad because she didn't raise me like that. She corrected me and reinforced my confidence level by explaining to me that she had complete trust in me that I would never use such words again. It was a sign of disrespect to her and only ignorant people use such language she said and I never forgot those words of wisdom. My mother was very wise in that department. She knew that even though we were kids, we had good minds and we used them daily.

Elevate yourself by making a conscious decision to make real changes not only in your language but the people you associate with. Believe me when I say that those so called close "Friends" you have aren't, especially if:

A. They don't want you to succeed and leave them behind;

B. They talk about you like you have a tail;

C. They don't have your best interest at heart; and

D. They are dragging you down with all their negativity.

Use the word friend sparingly. I do. I only consider certain people to be my friends, and all others are associates and acquaintances. Check it out and see if it isn't true. The moment I got rid of a few naysayers, my life went up from there. It's not going to be easy to make this incredible change, so get ready for that. It took you 10, 20, 30, or more years to make you into the person you are now, but the fight is worth the battle and you will WIN!

Time is so very important, so what are you doing with it? There are so many creative things you could be doing, let's start with that. Do the following things and I assure you that you will never regret it. And try to do them with your family and friends because they will be even better. Go to museums (art, science, and historical), parks, beaches, fishing, hiking, biking, picnicking, concerts, shows, swimming, boating. Even taking walks on the beach will do wonders for your body and peace of mind. The things I just suggested for you to do can be done with little or no money. They are really enjoyable especially the ones you've never done before.

There's a whole new world out there for you to explore. The new people you will meet will change your life, they changed mine. Life has a lot more to offer, other than the next backyard party and dodging bullets. You have a lot to offer the world, each of us do, and it's our God-given birthright to bring it forth. It's called "stretching yourself," or going beyond your capabilities.

Stop being selfish with your time as well. Give some away to your local church, community center, senior citizens home, or your child's school. You don't need to give much, 2 to 3 hours a week is great. All of the above suggestions to help you change were designed to bring you back to the mainstream of life. For too long you've been plugged into the Media's matrix of mind control and these simple and enjoyable events will help you clear your mind and keep it clear. The more you unplug the more you will see the world as it is and for what it isn't. Your conscious level will rise and the rewards for all your hard work will be apparent.

The way you look, feel and act will determine the new people in your life and how they will perceive you. Your children will be affected as well, in the affirmative. You might even begin to hear the words please and thank you once in awhile. I love you mom and dad, can't be too far behind. These are the rewards you will receive, when you change you!

Understand this, the end of your journey has not been written yet. You can be, do, or become anything your mind tells you. You can do it. You need only to believe it, receive it and do it. But I warn you, fear and doubt will destroy your dreams, so remember "you need only to believe and shall not doubt, and you will have whatsoever you say"...... from (New Translation Bible).

Let's talk money. Your spending habits are critical to your family order and well being. When finances are limited, stress won't be far behind. What are you spending your family's money on and how are you spending it. There's a big difference you know. The Caucasian female is trained from a very early age to write down a daily, weekly and monthly "Budget." Now I know that word is foreign to most of you but that's OK. Your momma never had one, she just got the money and spent it and that's what you learned. Well that's got to stop right now, not tomorrow or next week.....Right the hell now!!!

Go get some paper and pen. Lets' turn your life around or are you just wasting your time reading my book? We're going to make up a budget for you, and you must never cheat on it, not even by one penny. You must begin to pay attention to all the money you are wasting every time you use the ATM, credit or debit card to make a purchase. If you just remember this, CASH IS STILL KING, you will save a boat load of it.

Another mind trip is convenience buying. Every time you swipe that card you're wasting money. You're paying the store and you're paying the bank. Make up your mind that you will cut off a finger before you cheat on your budget. That's how the White women do it and they always have more money at the end of the month. You must make this list and follow it. Your family is counting on you!

The Family Budget

Bills:

food

gas (home)

gas (car)

electricity

clothing

lunch

daycare

personal

manicure

pedicure

car payment

rent

insurance (car)

insurance (home)

(medical)

(dental)

Entertainment:

movies

concerts

social events

travel,

games

video rentals

parks (picnics)

spa

health club

night club

**Banking** :

savings

checking

education

investment

CDs

mutual funds

Christmas

stocks

bonds

Total expenses per month $________

You may add to or subtract from this list at will but after you determine the amounts you're going to save and spend each month, YOU CAN NOT SPEND ONE CENT OVER YOUR BUDGET OR IT WILL NOT WORK!!! If you stick to it, you will have more money than month. Do it for your family, if no one else!

You must make this budget your financial bible. It will empower you to say "No" to certain things you really don't need or want. You see ladies, the woman was always supposed to steer the finances of the home. There should be no greater dream for a real man, than to come home with a pay check and give it to his woman, his lover, or his wife and trust her to take care of the household needs. Now when the finances are right that makes the woman real happy and men know that's the time when love making is "Unbelievable." Wait that's book #12!!!

Chapter 5

### The Way Back Home

"UNPLUGGED"

On September 21, 2010 I unplugged myself from this world you call home. I simply stopped participating in the lunacy. I started by unplugging my TV set. Do you know how much time you waste in front of the television? Wait, that's book #13. That was it!... no 6 step program, no AAA seminars, no drugs and no guru sitting on a mountain in Tibet. I just turned off the very things that were contributing to my downfall. I turned off all the liars, murders, confusion, greed, abortions, sex and violence, wars and rumors of wars, suffering, starvation, mayhem, loneliness and despair, sickness, pain and death.

Did you know that the average child watches 6 hours of television a day, and over 18,547 simulated murders before the age of 21? As long as you keep getting your daily dose of it, you will forever be its "SLAVE." That's right, I said slave. No more, no less than the one you've seen in the movies or on the plantation picking cotton. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. "When I was a child, I played as a child, I thought as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things," now let me be the first to tell you, that quote came straight from the bible.

As I grew up I thought like you thought. All I had to do was to get an education, get a degree and I would get a great job and live happily ever after. I was told that all my life and I believed it with all my heart. But I soon found out that the world really didn't work that way. This is the truth; a wise man understands the world in which he or she lives in. You will always be a slave to someone, if you work for a set wage. As long as you have to answer to someone for your livelihood, you can and will never be a free man. It's just that simple. I don't care if you make $100,000 per year you're still a slave, just on a higher pay scale. Most of you are just one or two pay checks away from the streets and that's not a comfortable feeling is it? You think I'm full of it about now don't you? Well that could be true. So I came up with a simple test, a test to awaken some real hard core facts about who and what you are. But be of good courage, you can set yourself free. So let's all take "The Comparison Test."

The Comparison Test

Slave

1. Gets up at the crack of dawn to get to work

Freeman

1. Wake up at 5am to get to work on time.

Slave

2. Gets one meal a day, then back to work.

Freeman

2. LUNCH

Slave

3. Leaves when the master tells you to.

Freeman

3. Can't leave until the time clock says you can leave.

Slave

4. Tells you what to wear, eat and sleep.

Freeman

4. You can only live in the area you can afford, eat and wear the clothes you can afford.

Slave

5. When the harvest is over and the work is all done, you get a rest period for a week or two while the master counts his money.

Freeman

5. VACATION: You can't really go anywhere you really want to go. Your bills have you on lock down. So when you get back you'd better be at your desk on time.

Slave

6. Auction block, to get more workers, because some are sick, some too old, some have run off and some just plain died.

Freeman

6. Down-sizing

Slave

7. Slaves are always too slow getting back to work.

Freeman

7. You only do enough work to not get fired and working Boss pays you enough so you won't quit.

Slave

8. The only way to get the master's attention is to try to outshine the other slaves. The goal is to make it to the big house to live with master. That was either in the basement or attic. Now you got better food and clothes and see how master really lives.

Freeman

8. The boss will give you a promotion when he sees that you are with the program. You must stay late, arrive even earlier, gives him information on the other employees who are slacking. Take care of his personal needs, (draw your own conclusions). You make a little more money than the others so you can move away from the rest. You try to get a car like the boss and clothes like the boss but you can never be the boss.

Are you seeing the picture? It's called "Assimilation"

Now that I think you got the message and I think I have your complete attention, let's talk about what you're going to do next.

The next step in any deprogramming is to talk you down. I'm going to give you several questions for you to answer. The questions will be in a certain order that are designed to stimulate your brain patterns in such a way that your reasoning receptors will fire in sequential order. This way your left and right brain will be working together at the same time. This will give you more reasoning power.

Reasoning power will assist you in answering the question honestly. After such a bombardment of Media stimuli, it's going to be hard to disavow certain subjects that go against your mind's programming. The following questions will help you reverse these negative influences.

After each question, write your answer down on a separate piece of paper. Writing gives the brain a point of reference to remember and file permanently. Ready? Let's begin. Start by taking three deep breaths, exhaling slowly to allow oxygen to flow to the brain. You should feel a sense of euphoria (relaxed/happiness).

Question 1: How do you really feel about your mother and/or father?

(If you had both in your life, write about each of them, expressing the good and bad feelings. Use as much time and paper as you need).

Question 2: How do you really feel about your brothers and/or sisters?

Question 3: What was the worst experience you ever had in your life?

Question 4: Have you ever seen a dead person?

(When? Where? And how did it make you feel?)

Question 5: Have you ever been "in love?"

(How did it feel? Who was it? I want you to really put some thought and time writing about this because this is your turning point and if the answer is no, then write about that)

Question 6: Have you ever experienced a moment or day of great happiness?

(When and where?)

Last and most important question:

Question 7: If you could do, be, achieve, change, experience or have anything you wanted, what would it be?

Let your imagination go wild. You could be anybody than yourself, have all the money you want, have any career, be anything, change your race, or come from another planet. If you want to, go wild. Now take three deep breaths and release slowly.

Now you're done. I want you to do something. Feel better about yourself because if you're not, that's what is blocking your self-imagery. Somewhere down the line of your life's experiences, one or more traumatic events set your mind on success "HOLD."

I'll give you an example. For me, it was Barney Fife in the television series, "The Andy Griffith Show" about a strong, smart, tall sheriff and his tiny, wiry, timid and scary deputy. Guess which one I was? Yes, I was Barney to my big brother, who always played the sheriff.

Even though I didn't like the role, I was stuck with it. I even looked a little like Barney. Insult to injury, lol, as I grew up, I had it in my mind not to be like this TV character. But no matter how I tried, I still grew up timid, shy, scared and became a hypochondriac. (This is a person who is always taking pills, thinking they're sick or catching something—like Howard Hughes).

I bit my fingernails until I was 30 years old and I really never had steady relationships because I was afraid (subconsciously). Now in my day, Black people didn't believe in going to psychiatrist and even if we did, we didn't have the money for it, so we went to church. So that's my story. What's your blockage?

We all have something in our past that is either helping us negatively or positively. Now if you're honest with yourself and want to start that healing process or deprogramming (what I call it), the following is what you should do.

I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't claim to have reached perfection but I know how I got free and I am willing to share it with you. I am old-school, so I want you to write or print out your answers to the seven questions and mail them to me. Yes mail with a stamp, include your photo if you like and I will reply back to you.

By you answering the seven questions, it started an awakening in your spirit and mind. After you finish reading this book, you need to re-read it and I promise it will seem like a new book to you because now you're ready to receive the message. At first, you were just curious, but now you're equipped!

You see, to the Media, you are just a "product." There are so many of us on the planet now that we've become the GNP (Gross National Product). By the time it takes you to count to ten, 1,876 babies were just born. Do the math. They look at us now not as humans with souls, a person, a valuable resource, a needed individual, an asset. Oh no... we've become a product and in some cases a liability. Wait, that's book #14.

### Let's Play a Game of "Monopoly"

Now it's a game of "Monopoly." Where are we going to let them live? How much money will we give them? What will they spend it on? How much food will they need? What price will we set for it? How many jobs will we need? And who will we give them too? We are the masses that must be controlled and guided. At last count there was about 7 billion people on the planet. How do they control so many with the Media? If you haven't gotten the picture yet, let me be very clear. The product they are after and must have is our "Minds." Mahatma Gandhi did not own a car, house, boat, plane, a washer or dryer, refrigerator, none of life's accouterments, but what he did possess was 100 million Indian minds.

When he needed something, he needed only to make a request and someone would make it happen. I'm bringing this point home so you can see the importance of the plan, the plan to capture our minds, to shape it, mold it and to control it.

People it is time to unplug while it's still time. The Matrix was a great movie. If you haven't seen it, rent the video. The story tells much of how we all are living in a dream. The real world is just beyond our reach. It only takes one person to help another to unplug to see the real world--the real world that says that it's about us, not you alone--a world with compassion and concern for the person next door. "I got mine, so you get yours" mentality is not the world you want to live in is it?

Everyday I see more and more of our young adults and children tuning the world out by plugging their earphones into their iPods and mp3 players. And they're feeding their minds with sounds and imagery of the type of people they can never be. They listen to songs that feed their spirits with unrighteousness and wild abandonment. They watch videos that tease the senses with all sort of adult entertainment their young minds are not yet prepared to receive. I remember the time when it was up to our parents to tell us about the birds and the bees. Now TV, movies and videos give not only our Black children, but all children false dreams about wild parties in mansions and loose women willing to do anything for the almighty dollar.

Is this the legacy we want for our descendants? Well, I guess you're wondering what all this has to do with your hair. Again, it's not about your hair, but it's about the mind job being played on you and all of us. The Media tells you when to get up and when to go to bed, how to brush your teeth and what mouthwash to use, the clothes you wear and the food you eat. It's about mind control. Your hair was just the most logical place to start. Something you know, something you understand, and something you could relate to.

### How to Unplug Yourself

The problem seems monumental doesn't it? And it is. But the answer is so, so simple. Just unplug yourself. How do I unplug? You might be asking yourself, how do I do that? Well, I'm glad you asked. Start by turning off your TV for 30 days. I said simple not easy. Eliminate the noise from your life. Put down your mp3 player and game players from your lives, and give your mind a rest and see what happens. I did and see what happened to me? I wrote a bestseller and you can too. You can write a movie script or an award winning play. There is greatness within us all but your mind is somewhere else. It's watching other people's dreams come true. What about yours?

The Media has so many people dumbed down and it's incredible. That's why the so-called reality shows are so popular. You live vicariously through someone else's life that's not even real itself. The Media makes that stuff up. Now I'm not saying don't listen to music, it's the kind of music I'm talking about. Yes, I'm talking about hip-hop, at least the negative kind... "Bitch."

If that offended you, then there's still hope for you because you're not a female dog, you are a beautiful woman. Question, who told you that you were a bitch? Answer: the Media. You get it now? Turn that kind of negative noise off and turn on the positive sounds for 30 days and I promise you will feel 100% better about yourself. You'll be happier with more energy, more loving kindness and sensitivity to others. Your joy will be restored because you tossed it out a long time ago. Go back to church, find a good one and take your bible. That's the only way to learn. Don't just take the pastor's word about it. Do your own research, read it daily.

Help others to unplug. Don't be selfish with your new found happiness. Tell someone you love them and see the smile on their face. Do something kind for someone without any expectancy of reward. Find a park and rest. Let your feet touch the green earth and breathe some fresh air. Go near water, the lake, river, pond, ocean or stream and if you can, take a friend or the family.

Eat living food like a green salad and fruit. Drink water, 8 glasses a day. Stop and I mean stop drinking sodas and cut your sugar intake to a bare minimum. Sugar is toxic to your body. It's been proven. If you don't know what toxic means, then look it up! Unplug from the system for 30 days and you'll wake up. Just like Neo in the Matrix movie, take the Red Pill.

Try the 30 day test. What do you have to lose except some negative time and maybe some unwanted pounds and that's a whole another book #15. Give yourselves a chance to regain a right mindset. The one the Media has provided you with will only lead to the destruction of future generations of children not yet born. That's right, if you start thinking generational like the Asians and White establishment, you will discover a greater meaning and purpose for life.

The bible states that "a man who doesn't leave an inheritance for his children's children, is worse than an infidel." If you don't understand the word infidel, then look it up for yourself. Believe me, you won't like it.

### Let's Talk Solutions

My mentor once told me to never bring your boss a problem without the solution. That piece of advice got me noticed and promoted more than once. So let's talk solutions. I would never tell you that I have all the answers to the problems we face today, especially concerning our health. I'm only going to share what works for me. I'm 59 years young and getting younger. LOL. I've never been in the hospital except when I was a child around 10. I discovered herbs and vitamins at an early age and I walk 5 to 7 miles a day. My faith in God sustains my mental attitude and keeps me almost stress-free because I have learned over the years that, that no matter what happens, His word is final and absolute.

### The Final Financial Solution

"Live financially free or die trying" is my motto. You have to take life that seriously when it comes to your financial future. It is do or die time and you can't afford to get an "F" or a "D" for that matter in life's ultimate pursuit of financial security for you and your family.

I've seen hundreds, if not thousands of people who have simply given up and are living in the streets. Everytime I see them I think to myself, "Only by the grace of God go I." That means I'm blessed to have always had a way to make it in this world. Now, don't get me wrong, I've seen some lean days. And as I write this book, I can truly say that I could be a paycheck away from the streets myself if it wasn't for my "residual income." Now many of you don't have a clue as to what that term "residual income" means. It simply means that I took a small amount of my time and money to begin a home-based business. I earn a check over and over again without my doing anymore work. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it? Well, such businesses do exist and they're easy to do. You just have to find the one that is the right fit for you.

I wanted to give you more than just pointing out some problems without giving you a solution. Many books do that, but not this one. Now I'm going to share some vital information with you. All I ask is that you find a business that suits you, something that you will enjoy doing. Don't just follow what I'm doing because it may not fit your taste, but if you decide to follow some of the paths I've taken then great. Remember, I don't guarantee your success, you and only you can do that!!! I'm only going to tell you about a few home-based businesses that are working for me.

Network Marketing is being praised as the last frontier for financial freedom in America. No more can you count on having a job for 30 to 40 years and retire with a pension and a gold watch. Well, that's always been insanity to me because nothing is guaranteed in life. That business might go under right at your 29th year. Then what are you going to do? Start all over? Now don't get it twisted. You must work to make a living, but I say don't give up your dream for wealth by making someone else rich. Does that make sense?

All my life I've kept the entrepreneurial spirit, always searching for the right business fit that could set me and my family financially free. Understand this, when you start down my road, get ready for some failures. OK, you're probably not going to strike it rich the first time, but understand that you're at least giving it a shot. You will never get financially free working for someone else. I guarantee you that! I said all that to say this, the following business that I'm working with is simple and affordable to start-up. The only thing you must do to succeed is to work as hard for yourself as you do for your present boss, and you won't fail. Let me say that again because it is the "key" to all my success. I worked just as hard, if not harder, for myself as I used to for my "ex-bosses." If you start your business with a casual attitude you will end up a casualty. Now here is your reward for being diligent in your home-based business. If you put a hard 6-12 months into your home-based business, you will earn residual income and it will feel so good to have an extra paycheck coming in the mail that you don't have to work for anymore.

Donald Trump and Bill Gates were asked if they couldn't do real estate or computer technology, what would they get into to make millions, and they both agreed that multi-level marketing or network marketing was the answer. Now if the two big boys are saying that, you might want to check it out. There have been more millionaires made in America by network marketing in the past 10 years than in other companies in America.

### Financial Resources

The following companies are generating a residual income for me because (A.) I treated them like a business not a hobby. (B.) I work as hard for myself as I did for my ex-boss and (C.) I did not listen to bunch of non-professionals who never worked a day in their life for themselves. They just wanted a pay check and that's exactly what they got!

You see, I believe if you bargain for a penny in life then that's what life's going to give you. To make it in this world today you must develop alternate streams of income and Multi-Level Marketing is the best.

**www.justenergy4u.mymomentis.biz** , is a service that deals with the deregulation of the gas company which means every time one of my clients pays their gas bill, I get a check. The business also represents DirectTV, Clear Channel, ADT, M-Games, M-Mobile and many other services. So you get paid from all of them. This company will set you up with a flat rate gas bill for your home, nationwide, for only $29.00 a month and it will cost you nothing to switch over. Now that's a company with a vital service.

**www.Lyoness.com** , is a discount buying service and each time I make a purchase, I not only save money but I make money too. You can buy almost anything with the Lyoness discount card and the card is Free. You can obtain it directly from me. Discounts are for travel, restaurants, food, electronics, furniture, jewelry, the list is almost endless. Watch the video on the website then email your name and telephone number to: ebayda2000@yahoo.com.

**www.web.net** is an online company that trains you how to do import and export trade over the internet.

The **Emperors Delight** is the greatest all natural male enhancer in the world. The 100% natural, patented herbal formula gives men more energy, stamina and endurance. What I like about this company is that I know the CEO personally and the product sells its self. When looking for a product to market, the best are consumables. For more information about the business opportunity and product, visit www.straightup4men.ednetwork.biz.

Disclaimer

Mr. Ballinger, nor his staff, does not makes any claims of success or potential income for anyone who chooses to take advantage of any of the products or services listed in this book.Your success or failure is dependent on your own efforts.

### Mind, Body and Spirit

I meditate. I go to the park, museums, and the beach to get next to the ocean, air and water. I swim, I take time to play and I actually stop to smell the roses every chance I get. It's all free. I listen to tapes, CDs and DVDs about health, mind, body control, energy, and vibrational influences that have negative and positive effects on our body, mind and spirit.

I read and reading is fundamental for several reasons. In your brain, there are neuro receptors that are constantly firing. Reading helps build more healthy receptors and you think more clearly and avoid Alzheimer's. Think about it. Your mind, body and spirit are all interconnected. When one suffers, they all do. So you must work on all three simultaneously for a more vibrant and healthier you. It's a whole lifestyle change. Change your mind and change your life.

Let's talk about detoxification. There are so many chemicals floating around in our air, water and food and it's hard to combat them all but you can. Detoxification plays a major part in this war. Make no mistake about it, we are at war with the elements each and everyday. There are several detoxification processes you need to do and not jut once. We need to detox our bodies two to three times a year. I'm only going to list the kinds there are and you must do your research to find the products and physicians that perform them in your area.

You must detox the liver, kidney, colon (upper and lower), and a parasitic cleanse is very essential. Everyday we touch people and animals, and we transfer parasites to one another. Parasites can be the size of a small snake or as tiny as a microbe in your blood. There are several different types of cleanses on the market you can choose from. We also need to cleanse from the heavy metals such as lead and aluminum which causes the body to contain rust. Yes I said "RUST!" Antioxidants do well in fighting these unwanted intruders. I believe the metals in our blood are the direct cause of Alzheimer's. By cleansing the body of unwanted chemicals and heavy metals, the better you will be able to help your body fight off all kinds of diseases. Your energy level will return and a lot of the aches and pains will leave too.

Feed your body the stuff it needs to help fight off disease, heart attacks, strokes and cancer. Your immune system kills that stuff on a daily basis that you never knew you had. So start now by keeping a steady supply of vitamins C, D and E, and take herbs. Go to the internet and it will give you information on all types of herbs and what they do. Remember to try and take nutrients in the colloidal form (that means liquid). It gets into your system quicker and there's no waste. The second best form to ingest vitamins would be capsule or gel form. And eat more organic vegetables. These two ways are best for maximum consumption. There's no sense in taking them if you're just going to flush them down the toilet tomorrow.

Many vitamins don't absorb into the body, they just travel right through your body and right into the toilet. There are many external devices you can use for better health, but you will learn them all along the way. Treat yourself to a sauna, hot tub, steam room and my favorite, a massage once or twice a week. There are free yoga classes at the YMCA and YWCA. Take advantage and if they do cost, it's minimal. Do you see where I'm going with this? Anything you can do to make your body healthier and feel better, do it.

Now here's one you've been waiting for, exercise. Yeah, go exercise as often as you can. Go to a park and just walk around. That's exercise too. Now if you can't or won't do that, then there is no hope for you. I'm sorry. Now, I'm not talking to the person in a wheelchair or bedridden. I'm talking to you, the one who lives at McDonald's, and can't lose a pound. Wait, Hammer time, that's book #16, "Eating Yourself to Death." I know this sounds like a lot to do, and it is, but think of the alternative--being strapped to a bed with wires and hoses stuck in you or your child 24 hours a day.

This idea is strictly for the entrepreneurs out there. Now this one's for free. The next idea, you have to pay for. LOL. There are 48 million Blacks in America just waiting for an all natural product without all these chemicals. I know I am. I would also say that anyone who could teach us how to make our own products would get rich overnight. Just think. A company that sold only healthy, chemical-free products, like soaps, shampoo, lotions, hair oils, makeup and so on. I would call the company "Back to Basics." B to B sounds good, so let me know when it opens.

### The Living Wheel

The living wheel is something that everyone on the earth should have; now don't get me wrong I'm not talking about a "Will "after you're dead. I'm talking about "The Living Wheel." I was turned on to it a long time ago and it absolutely changed my life. Now I'm going to share it with you. There's only one rule, you must be honest with yourself or it will not work. (Remember you can do this on one piece of paper) For an example, I will draw my own living wheel. If you're ready, let's begin.

Step #1: Start by making a "Cross" in the middle of the page.

Step #2: "Criss-cross" some more lines through the cross until you have 8 spokes in your wheel, make sure they're of equal length. (You can add more lines to your wheel if you wish; it will make your experience a better one.)

Step #3: Place numbers from 1 to 10 on each line, starting at the top with 10. Example: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 and so on. (10 being best)

Step #4: On the other side of the line, place a "word" or "phrase" that concerns your personal experience in life. (As shown in the diagram)

Step #5: Now, this is the interesting part. You must place a "Dot" on each line in conjunction with the High or Low response to each gauge. You must give the most honest answer you can, don't be embarrassed, no one has everything together. (As shown in the diagram below)

Step #6: Now here's the fun part. Just connect the dots. Now you should be looking at some kind of crazy looking circle. Don't laugh, that's your "Life."

All you have to do from this day forward is to make sure all the dots reach 10 and when they do your life will be really worth living. Share the Living Wheel with others.

" **CONFIDENCE"**

Knowledge, can he acquired; talent, can be taught; but, the key to success is. . .

Confidence...

I contemplate, as I begin;

aware, am I that fools rush in;

for by such thought, shall I prevail,

I'll stumble but, I will not fail;

and, trust in my ability

to be as much, as I should be.

I question, yet when there is doubt,

I learn to do or do without,

and, overcome adversity.

In darkness, will I learn to see;

and, in the light, my thoughts will glow,

and, through my vision, make it so;

yet, take advice, when it is sound

but, when correct, then, stand my ground;

though, if, in doubt, will, yet, decide;

and, by decision shall abide;

and, have control, regardless of

emotions, such as fear or love;

and, never flounder in my stance

nor, be afraid to take a chance.

I am compelled to question, yet,

faith, have I, without regret.

yet realize faith's limits. . , though

I may believe, I do not know.

For, knowledge differs from belief;

conviction, false, is blind relief;

relief from truth, is not revealing;

and, "a thought," is stronger than, "a feeling."

Thus, pampas notion, I despise,

yet, am respectful of the wise;

for blind, will I refuse to be,

and, never fail, the truth, to see;

or ever fear a challenge, I

nor be compelled to tell a lie.

I'll overcome, in times, adverse,

and shall, for better or for worse;

stand for right, despite the crowd,

be vigilant and ever proud,

be ever blessed with common sense,

and always, shall have CONFIDENCE

A poem by Bert B. Babero

Copyright 2003

### Final Thoughts from the Author

You need to talk to a "Man of Substance." I'm not talking about a man with money. I mean a man of true value and worth as far as: morality, faith, conscious, sincerity, courage, high self-esteem and honor. These men do exist. Maybe it's your father, uncle, brother, or best of all a senior gentleman. He will tell you the truth because he has nothing to lose. Ask him one simple question and be ready to receive the answer. "Which do men prefer, a natural women or a mad up one?"

Now if you ask this question to a man in a bar or some joint with several drinks in him, this is what you will hear, "Oh yes baby, I love your weave and any other stuff you have on...Now let me buy you a drink." These men want only one thing and you're only going to get one thing, taxi fare the next morning.

Ladies you know where I'm coming from and for the ones that don't, let me be real clear. I want the very best for all women and the very best for us guys. I'm seeing too many under achievers out there on both sides of the equation. It seems that our young and old have almost given up on good behavior and dignity. It's time for us to regain our most precious attribute, our 'Self-Respect." Ladies I'm not blaming you but it does start with you in this area of life, style and vanity. Men do not lead, you do! You must help us turn the tide so all of us can see the light from which we were made........Natural.

### Beautiful Black Women with Beautiful Natural Hair

MEN and WOMEN OF COLOR ENJOYING THEIR NATURAL APPEAL

My beloved mother, and that's her real hair

### About the Author

Darryl A. Ballinger (aka "DA") was born in Kansas City, Missouri and raised in Chicago, Illinois. He began his writing career by submitting treatments to some of the most popular television sitcoms such as "All in the Family," "Good Times," "That's My Momma," and "The Jefferson's."

At the age of 25 he moved to Los Angeles, California where he formed his own company called DA Vending. Later, he started a health-focused publication named "Health Unlimited International Publications." Recently, Ballinger was inspired to pen his first children's book entitled "Hi Mr. Tree, It's Me Sarah," about the misadventures of a little girl who befriends a very wise but lonely tree.

Having traveled throughout the world, Ballinger now resides in and calls Los Angeles his home.

### About the Book "UnbeWeavable"

For many years Darryl A. Ballinger (aka "DA") worked in sales and marketing for various companies, from Walgreens to Xerox. He loved his career but all the while he had a secret passion. He knew he wanted to write and if he was going to make a serious career change, then whatever he wrote about had to be of equal relevance.

Ballinger attended a hair show but not your everyday hair event. It was an all natural hair and fashion show where people of color proudly sported their natural hair. He was blown away by men and women, boys and girls strutting fashion as well as their natural hair in various, even extravagant hairstyles. It was then that his eyes were suddenly opened, which he calls an "Epiphany." Ballinger realized that our "natural" hair was beautiful and a thing to be proud of. He also came to a startling conclusion that he was to play an intricate part in revealing to others what he has seen and learned.

"Did you know that there are children who have never seen their mother or grandmother's real hair? From weaves to wigs and back, that's not the real eye opener. The Media has us so brainwashed into hating our own Black image and we don't even realize it. Well, I found my thrill and it's on like Donkey Kong!, says Ballinger. "This book is not against weave, wigs or permanents. There's nothing wrong with a little change now and then, but what we will explore is the problem. And it's "Unbeweavable," he adds.

### Other Books by the Author

" **Hi Mr. Tree It's Me Sarah"**

"Hi Mr. Tree It's Me Sarah" is a children's book all about a little girl named Sarah who has moved to the country with her parents. She becomes so sad and lonely because she has no friends to play with but one day she makes acquaintance with a big oak tree. She calls him Mr. Tree and from then on they become fast friends. Mr. Tree teaches her many things about the environment and what trees do for the world. They are so very happy until one day Sarah disappears! You will be on the edge of your seat until the surprise ending.

Please visit the website www.indiegogo.com/helpmefindsarah and watch a 4 minute video. You will learn all about the book and how to participate in a game called the "Challenge." The book will be given away to over 982 libraries in the country so all children can enjoy reading about Sarah. You can play a major part in this effort by funding this project. Don't worry, you will receive some lovely gifts in return for your participation. Remember, READING IS FUNDAMENTAL. In addition, you can use the Indiegogo site to market your own products and services and it won't cost you a dime to do it.

### How to Contact the Author

Websites:

www.unbeweavableDA.weebly.com

www.HiMrTreeItsMeSarah.weebly.com

Facebook:

www.facebook.com/

Twitter:

www.twitter.com/

Email:

ebayda2000@yahoo.com

### Contributors

Emmy Lu of Emmy Lu Gallery of Beverly Hills is one of the foremost artists in America and abroad. You can find his wonderful works in "The White House" and with "The Royal Family." To view his works visit: www.emmylugalleries.com and/or view the gallery in Las Vegas by visiting www.emmylugallery.com. For appointments, send an to: ebayda2000@yahoo.com.

Christine Brooks Martin provided copyediting services through her company Areli MediaWorks. She is the bestselling author of three inspirational titles: "Pray What God Says," "Talk to God with Affirmations of Faith" and "Christine's Short-Shorts. Visit www.amazon.com/author/christinebrooksmartin. -or- www.praywhatgodsays.weebly.com.

Linda Lange: My Publisher with an extraordinary ministry. She can help get your book off the the drawing board into a tangible book. I highly recommend her and she can be contacted at truthfrees@lifeapplicationministries.org.

Ed Magik of Ed Magik TV played a vital role in all aspects of photography and video. Without his expertise my book would not have such eye appeal. To set an appointment with Mr. Magik contact him at: edmagiktv@yahoo.com.

Bert Barbero wrote the poem "Confidence" and has three other books of outstanding poetry that I'm sure you will enjoy. If you liked "Confidence" then you will love the other his other works. You can contact him at: cmttrust@hotmail.com.

Rahkua was the best contributing professional model for the book. If you wish to contact her for bookings please do so at: rahkua@gmail.com.

Website: rahkua.wix.com/ishakarah

Twitter: @UrDreemGirl

Facebook: Rahkua

Instagram: @RAHKUA_MUSIC

James E. Moore, from Empowerment Projects International (EPI), is Chief Coordinator-Integrator (CCI) for this company which specializes in developing and implementing eco-friendly infrastructure-type projects and related programs with special emphasis on self-sustainment and economic growth. For more information visit: http://www.emproj.org.

