What’s the dumbest thing you’ve accidentally
said while trying to say two things at once?
Got a notification at a drive thru that it
was my friend's birthday and ended up telling
the person "happy birthday" instead of my
order.
I was trying to say "no problem" to a customer
on the phone and I accidentally said "NOPE!"
Real enthusiastically and hung up. Oops.
Handed someone their spiced cider and said
“here’s your spider!”
I tripped going up stairs at my university.
Several people came over to make sure I was
okay. I’m fine, just my shins and my ego
bruised, so I was trying to make light of
it by joking “walking is hard” and “stairs
are tricky” at the same time, but I just
ended up squawking “Stairs! Hard!” in
a girls face before I ran off. Sigh.
My buddy did something and instead of saying
“My boy did blah blah” or “My Friend
did blahblah” I said my boyfriend. I was
taking to my girlfriend and she often asks
me how my boyfriends are doing now.
I deliver pizzas and I usually deliver in
the evenings, so I always tell people, "Have
a great night!"
One day, I got switched to day shift, and
after my first delivery, my brain tried to
say, "Have a great night!" and "Have a good
day!" at the same time, and it somehow came
out, "Have a gay Davey!"
I was having an argument with a close friend
of mine over something that has been lost
to time (probably about something nerdy, this
was back in high school), but all I remember
is wanting to yell “You want to fight me?!”
and “Fuck you!” which ultimately came
out as “You want to frick me?!”
My friend quickly went pale, evaluated his
options as I raced to correct myself, and
promptly left my house. Guess I won that argument.
We didn’t frick til years later though lol
My mom was cutting a cake at my cousin's birthday
party. I was trying to ask her "can I have
a tiny piece" and "can I have an itty bitty
piece" and it came out as "can I have a titty"
Hocker and sockey are my two favorite sports.
I was leaving after the second date with my
now-husband, talking with him through the
open door of my car.
Stomach was still all fluttery. I was trying
to sound like a normal human being, inviting
him to message me about a day that would be
good for us to meet again.
Meant to say either, "Hit me up." OR, "Shoot
me a message."
Ended up with, "Shoot me up."
crap. crap crap crap.
Smiled stupidly and drove away, hoping he
didn't notice.
He noticed, but he went out with me again
anyway. We'll be celebrating our one-year
wedding anniversary in February.
This one happened to a co-worker.
We worked at an ice cream parlor. I came in
early because the delivery guy was going to
show up with more ice cream, and I had to
help unload it. My co-worker was supposed
to be there too to run the front and serve
coffee while I dealt with the delivery. She
was late, however, which left me in a bad
situation because I couldn't do both.
I called the manager to let him know, and
he said he'd call back in half an hour and
if she wasn't there he'd come in himself.
Luckily, she showed up, followed immediately
by the ice cream.
I went back to handle the delivery and the
phone rang. I called out "That's Rob. Tell
him you're here and so is the ice cream."
She picked up the phone and cheerfully said
"Hi! I'm a screamer!".
I would pay fifty bucks to have seen his face.
I'm a semi-bilingual Canadian, and some things
just sound better in French than in English.
Hell, some things just sound better in a horrible
Fringlish mix (favorite being qu'est-ce que
the frick). This means that, sometimes, I
will greet people with a "Hello, how's it
going?" and, sometimes, with a "Bonjour, ca
va?"
And sometimes, some special times, my brain
apparently decides to do both things at once
and produces a very special compound word,
typically ejaculated at high volume to people
on first meeting:
bonjo.
My friend was absolutely trouncing us in a
custom game of Halo 3. He wanted to say "I'm
wiping the floor with you guys" and "Im kicking
your asses"... instead he came out with "IM
WIPING YOUR ASSES!"
I said ”Heil” to a cashier at McDonalds
when going to say ”hi” and then mid sentence
changing my mind and saying ”hello”
Oh god, my friend was at a cafe with her mom
talking about the film A Star is Born and
a woman came in with a border collie dog.
My friend very enthusiastically asked if that
was a Bradley Cooper.
'its all gay!" That's a combination of "it's
okay" and "it's all good"
Not really two things.. but my mother one
asked a shop assistant if they had any "mcloons
teethpost"
Supposed to say "mcleans toothpaste"
Was at work in a status meeting with co-workers,
I wanted to say that I was going to either
"bug" or "bother" a client about something.
Ended up saying "I'll bugger them", and it
turns out "bugger" means something very different...
My friend was being an butthole, so I was
going to say ill beat yo ass, and stop being
a d*ck. It came out as ill beat yo d*ck. Ya
I now wish I wasnt alive.
I used to manage a restaurant where I would
commonly greet customers then take them to
their table with a “follow me!” Or “come
inside!”. One day I slipped up with a “come
inside me!”
Teaching The Hobbit to 8th graders. Trying
to lead discussion on one of the earlier chapters,
when the dwarves make a mess of Bag End. Meant
to talk about “Bilbo’s dishes,” ended
up saying “dildo’s b*tches” to my class
of middle schoolers.
I once asked a customer if they were taking
in or eating out
I was at an events with a lot of guests who
only spoke english. I'm French. So, I spent
the day juggling between the two languages.
At the end of the day, it started raining,
pretty hard.
Now, in English, the expression is "it rains
cats and dogs". In French, the expression
literally means "it rains like a cow who is
peeing". I somehow mix up both of them, and
I said to a lot of Englishmen and women "It
rains cows". They seemed a bit worried.
I know uses that exclusively, both in English
and French.
I attempted to call someone booboo and baby
at the same time and ended calling him booby.
I can never go back to that McDonald’s.
I work in a contact center. One day a customer
called regarding an order, nothing major,
and at the end of the call he thanked me.
My standard response is “no worries,”
but for some reason my brain also wanted to
say “you’re welcome.” It came out as,
“your problem” and I kinda wanted to die
in that moment.
I Said to my uncle once frick you instead
of thank you, I wasn't trying to say 2 things
though, I was just a stupid kid with poor
English trying to speak to an uncle who is
living in the US in English.
For some reason as a kid they sounded very
similar to me.
Just gonna leave this here
This is gonna sound weird on its own but,
i was trying to say Barney and puberty in
the same sentence and said "Barberty"
It was early in the morning and I had basically
just peeled myself from bed and as I was leaving
the house my step mom said goodbye to me,
Me being on comeplete auto pilot replied with
a sleepy "yeehaw" then went on with my day,
Im not even american so idek why I said it.
I had to come home that day and explain that
I was just tired and didn't mean to say yeehaw
Edit: holy crap this blew up thanks for the
silver
A dear friend of mine is an author. Anytime
he puts out a new book, he always signs a
copy for me to display in my classroom. We
had been out drinking one night and he, in
his drunken state, got really lippy and was
about to get his buttkicked. I stepped in
and defended him, getting decently injured
in the process. As we were driving home, he
slurred out, 'Thanks for shaving my ass, man.'
instead of 'Thanks for saving my ass, man.'
A few weeks later, I got a copy of his new
book that had his slur inscribed. I keep the
book in my classroom, and occasionally, a
student will pick it up and read the inscription.
When they ask about it, I just smile and tell
them I'll tell them the story when the graduate.
"Are you fricking sorry?"
Lol still makes me laugh.
I was on high school academic team. I rang
in to answer a question, intending to say
either groundhog or woodchuck.
I ended up saying ground chuck.
That was not the answer.
Tried to say nice shot and nice hit at the
same time to my grandpa while we were golfing.
I said nice crap
My one friend was halfway between saying “24/7”
and “7 days a week” so he ended up saying
“47 days a week”.
Omg my time to shine, I was in the army at
the time and doing a guarding shift at the
bases' back entrance. There's was this rule
that if a high ranking officer came through
you had to salute them(which no one ever cared
about, even the officers) so one day this
super high ranking officer drives in (don't
know the name of his rank in English) came
through, I take his ID to look at it then
back at him, then I realised who he was. So
I saluted with his ID in my hand, the wrong
hand as well, and said a combination of the
words "thank you and good morning" which turned
out something like this "munchyou" but in
my language so it was even funnier. I don't
think he noticed so all good. I was super
embarrassed though.
I was talking to one of my coworkers and I
was trying to say I'm going to go poop and
we were talking about how ready we were to
go eat lunch and what came out was "I'm going
to go eat poop now"
i was tryna say taste my nerf gun and im gonna
shoot you and i ended up saying taste my shoot
goot
Playing online with friends I replied to something
cool that happened with a combination of cool
+ sweet which got me, “Wow, Queet!” It
lives on to this day.
Got stoned once, and (in a fit of laughter)
said to a friend, “No! You misunderheard
me!”
Happened a day ago. Me and a friend were talking
about a test, and she worried she was going
to get a bad grade. I wanted to say: "I'm
sure you'll get a good grade" and: "I'm sure
you won't get a bad grade."
So I ended up saying: "I'm sure you'll get
a bad grade"
