-Look at you.
-Man.
-A star. A shining star.
-You know.
-Look at you. Okay. Okay.
-You know.
-Work it.
-I'm returning this suit
in about half an hour,
but you know what?
[ Laughter ]
-Work it girl.
-It's mine right now.
-I'm so excited you're here.
-Thanks for having me.
-Of course. Are you kidding me
Such a good guest.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Aww, thank you.
-Over the last few years, you've
done so many amazing things.
You've worked with
so many amazing people.
You've even got, check this out,
Tom Hanks to record
your voicemail.
[ Cheers and applause ]
How did this go down?
How did this go down?
-Yeah,
so I think this was two year
ago.
-Mm-hmm.
-I interviewed him on my podcast
called "Sooo Many White Guys."
[ Cheers and applause ]
And he was, like, the toke
white guy for the season,
which was really amazing
that I got him,
and we had such a great time
And I told him about this theory
on Twitter that when, he,
you know, tans, he kind of looks
like a light-skinned black guy
[ Laughter ]
You know what I'm saying?
And there are these pictures
of him, like,
next to Langston Hughes
or whatever.
So, I told him, I was like
"Well, you know, my dad's
also a light-skinned black guy
You can play him in a biopic
or whatever.
[ Laughter ]
And we had such a great time
and I was like, "Before we go,
I know this is not profesh
but before you go, can you
record the outgoing messag
on my voicemail, and he did it
in two takes.
He gave me options.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah. He was so sweet.
-That is so sweet.
-Yeah.
-And that's amazing.
-It's awesome. Yeah.
-That's incredible.
So, I mean, you've had suc
a crazy last few years
with the writing
and the podcast.
Girl is killing it out here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Killing it. So, I have to ask --
-Yes.
-About the bags. I have to ask
about the bags real quick.
-Okay.
-What was your first
big splurge?
-Okay, so I have two.
-Okay.
-So, the first one is,
I went to college
as a lot of us do.
[ Cheers ]
-Yes! Student loan debt!
[ Laughter ]
And I had so much of it
that my -- once I got my
writing job with "Portlandia,"
I just sent all my paychecks
from that job to Sallie Mae.
So, I paid off all
my student loans.
-Yes!
-This is very --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yes!
-Very exciting.
-I love that.
-And then my second splurge,
once I got, like, another check,
'cause I was like,
"Now, I don't have money."
[ Laughter ]
I got this Stella McCartne
purse,
and that was like
my favorite purse.
-Okay.
-It's black.
It's like New York black,
and I was like, I would
just walk around.
I was like, "I'm so cool."
-Speaking of New York,
you moved into a new apartment
in Brooklyn recently.
Is that right?
-Yeah, okay.
Yes.
-How did you find decorating it?
Are you a person who's reall
into that life or you...
-Yes.
-...let someone else handle it
-So, I'm into it, but my bes
friend from college,
Karen Asprea,
she has a design studio.
So, she designed
my entire apartment.
I got like a nice discount
from her.
-Nice!
-And it was really great.
I think, like, the main thing --
So, my boyfriend is Britis
and he's very sweet.
-Whoo!
-Thank you for the support
He's a colonizer.
[ Laughter ]
And he's really sweet,
but I'm obsessed with U2.
It's like my favorite thing.
-You're obsessed with?
-U2, the band.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah.
-I was not expecting that.
I was not expecting that.
-It's me and this white lady
we're both obsessed.
[ Laughter ]
And you know,
and my boyfriend was like,
"I'm so happy to live together
but we cannot have any picture
of U2 in the bedroom
because I am not going to want
to have sex if I, like,
see Bono's face.
[ Laughter ]
So that's the main rule.
-Okay.
Well, speaking of your boyfriend
you live together.
-Yes, we do.
-Correct?
And you get along for the most
part.
-Yes.
-But I've head that there'
something that you disagree on
often.
-Well, I think --
-It's about artwork.
-Yeah. So, he kind of roasted me
a little bit,
'cause I -- I bought
this apartment.
This is the first time I bough
any sort of like property
or whatever, and I was like,
I feel like I should do
something a little fancy,
and I was like,
"I want to get a bust."
And he was like, "A bust?"
-Wait, a what?
-A bust.
-What the hell's a bust?
-You know, like,
back in the day, like, you g
to like the museum,
they have like busts of, like,
I don't know,
Michelangelo or, like whatever
or -- so I just wanted to have
like a cool bust of --
-Oh, the --
-Yeah.
-Oh, okay.
-You thought I meant [bleep]
-I thought you meant [bleep]
-I did not mean [bleep]
-I was like, bust?
[ Laughter, cheers,
and applause ]
What you mean? You want
Michelangelo's [bleep]?
-I just -- we just have thes
A-cups in my apartment.
[ Laughter ]
It's great. It's great.
I'm making it work.
But he was just like,
"What are you talking about?
And I was like,
"I feel like that's what
fancy people do."
And so I got a bust from CB2
and he was like...
[ Laughter ]
He was like,
"That is not what fancy people
do."
-Well, who was it of?
-I don't know,
some white person.
I have no idea.
-Just a random bust?
-Just a random white person.
Yeah.
-I love this.
-So it's in our office.
-Okay, well,
so not only do you collect
artwork,
but you also collect wigs.
-Yes, I do.
-To the point where...
[ Cheers and applause ]
...you even name
some of your wigs.
-Yes.
-Is that correct?
Tell me about your wig
collection.
-So I have a bone-straight one
that's super long
that's Naomi for Naomi Campbell.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I have Chaka Khan because I have
nice big, curly afro.
I have a Toni Braxton one.
You know, I got a lot going on
I liked all the icons. Yeah.
-So how do you decide what
you're feeling for a day?
-I think it's really just like
on my mood,
because I feel like black hair
is so stressful.
Like, black -- Yes, exactly.
-Girl, yes!
[ Laughter ]
The one black woman was like
"Yes, exactly!"
But there's just so much,
I really want to have fun
with it.
-Right.
-So, just whatever like this
I'm doing fun braids today
-Yes!
-You know, it just feels good.
-I like it.
-Yeah.
-I love it so much.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Phoebe, we got to congratulate
you on your new Comedy Central
series
"How To Be a Person
with Phoebe Robinson."
Congratulations.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you so much.
-What can you tell me about it
sis?
-Okay, so the basic premis
is I am a workaholic.
As a result, I have no lif
experiences and I don't --
-Relatable.
-I don't do anything.
[ Laughter ]
-Mm-hmm.
-So, like, I don't know how to
swim.
I can't ride a bike.
I don't know how to drive.
-Like, for real.
-Like, for real.
Like, I truly am trash.
And so --
[ Laughter ]
I, like, wanted a tattoo
for 10 years.
I never got around to doing it
So on the show, each episode
I interview a celeb guest
and we sort of go through
the experience together.
Either something
they haven't done either
or something I haven't done.
And hopefully I come out
with some, you know,
cool stories.
Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Are you scared?
-I am.
Yeah. I don't know.
It'll be fun.
-Well, I only ask that because I
saw -- I saw this video
that you posted of you doing
something
which seems extreme for you.
-Yeah.
-It's you going on a hike.
-Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-I want to show this video
really quick.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Keep going.
[ Laughter ]
Just remember, just walk
that whole thing backwards
[ Laughter ]
-Hiking.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I got to say --
-Yeah.
-It didn't look that steep
-It felt so steep,
and he was like...
[ Laughter ]
He was like, "are you sure
you want to wear
a fringe fanny pack?"
[ Laughter ]
And I was like, "isn't tha
how everyone hikes?"
And he was like, "No."
But I got through.
But rocks.
I'm like, "Who knew?"
[ Laughter ]
-Who knew there was rocks?
-Well, I just -- it's like
"Get these rocks out of here
I just want to walk
unobstructed.
-Right.
-I don't want these inclines
I just want it flat.
And he's like,
"Do you just want to stay
in the apartment?
Like, what are you talking
about?"
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. The inclines.
-Yes.
-I'm not down with that either
-Yeah, no.
-Not down.
-It's terrible.
-Hiking should be just
very straightforward.
-Yeah, to a fridge. Done.
-100%. 100%.
