Theeke. Thank you
Welcome on stage
Sejal Bhatt
Hey guys
Kya kabhi tumne kabhi kisise pyaar kiya?!
Kiya!
Yes!
Check
Mera checklist ho gaya life ka
This is all I wanted to do
But my name is Sejal, hi
I'm a Kashmiri Pandit, by the way
We're not on the bad, sad victim side
We're the ones that ran away
It's okay,
It's just
Like a Kashmiri baby when it's born
The first words aren't like, "Mumma, papa"
It's just, "bhaago!"
But, it was a very conservative household mine
That's how we start
Growing up in my household
It's a very conservative, Brahmin, Pandit household
Like, the main things that I did during the 90's growing up
was watching the shitty movies ofcourse
And Sankshipt Ramayan for some reason
You know..
No?
Wow
Tum log bohot cool ho
Fine main uncool hun
Okay, fine, fine
Other than that
I didn't watch a lot of like English movies growing up
That's the one thing I remember
The first English movie I ever watched was Superman
There's a scene in Superman where he stretches out his shirt
And I remember being really surprised
And there's that 'S' under the costume
I was genuinely surprised to not see Ram and Sita in there
It was like
Yeh udta bhi Hanuman jaisa hai
But kya
So by the time I had sex
Okay? Yeah
By the time I had sex, I hadn't watched  porn
Okay?
Okay, picture me
Not fully, but, somewhat
I'm there in the situation
I'm there in the situation
Main kuch baat karu? Kuch bolu?
Should I move? Should I make a sound? At all?
And I was just frozen there like
Okay, I'm just gonna do what my 90's bollywood has taught me
And I just went "Bachao!"
It worked, guys!
If there's anything you're taking from my set, it works
Some men are into it
It wasn't the first time I'd seen a dick though
To be frank, okay
It wasn't the first time I'd seen a dick voluntarily, keyword, actually
Okay
The one thing that shocked me really about dicks
was the fact that they can movie on their own
Did you know that?
I had no idea upto that point
'Cause I'm just there, you know,
Handsy
This is how my hands seem
Like this
Okay? And he's just like, okay
And I'm handsy and it just went like
Okay..
Yeh normal hai?
I had no idea
The other thing that surprised me a lot
Okay, I'll actually tell you about the time that I
saw a dick for the first actual time
okay that was in a bus
Nostalgia
The usual
Ki kya, 'oh'
Muje nostalgia feel ho raha hai
Tum log dukhi ho rahe ho
I was in a bus, regular bus
BMTC of sorts, it's really packed
And I was just standing like this cause I'm very sanskari
So I face the women side always
And I'm standing there
And there's a dude and I just feel a hand
Go like this
And I was like this is not a normal bus movement
Cause, this and this I'm used to
Yeh kya hai?
So I turn here and I see the scariest looking
Oh my god!
It's just an angry looking thing
Like a purple shade of black
Just on it's own
Now I'm over it okay
Now I'm over the whole thing
But I feel like there's something we need to do about this
Not, not, you know harassment wise
Umm, power wise
I feel like there is some,
there should be a way to harness this energy somehow
There should be a way to make electricity out of this thing
Right?
So much?
This is my dream, okay
We just have guys line up, okay
One guy, one guy
All of them just working at it
xvideos.com, xvideos.com, xvideos.com
And we just have like wires going through there
And we just have like wires going through there dicks
And just working hard like
Making this happen
Somewhere far off in a gaon
Near Gurgaon
There's an old lady in a hut
Inside the hut there's one single bulb like
that Swadesh movie
It's never ever lit up
And she's just under it
And there's suddenly for the first time
in 60 years, it just goes
And she just goes, "Bijli!"
Okay, that's been my set guys
Thank you so much
