hey everybody hey what's going on
blinking Keith your favorite fresh for
comedy tour comedians we're uh
we're sitting here at mugs coffee shop
in North Little Rock Arkansas about to
enjoy a delicious lunch mm-hmm we've got
here the smoked salmon Club I'm gonna be
honest I've never eaten smoked salmon in
my life and this is a lot of smoked
salmon that's a lot of smoked salmon
part of that's tomato looks a lot like
salmon are the tomatoes of the sea I
don't know if you knew that we also have
the turkey club what we're gonna do is
we both wanted the same thing so we got
each a sandwich split in half and then
we're gonna try ourselves and this is
your first time having a sandwich from
Eric yeah never had the food here
breakfast lunch nothing just a coffee
the ambience is great I people doing
work school work and just like a
business meeting going over there
or women's rights group or something
yeah
they marched in here I saw Miss Vicky's
sea salt chips are good good start you
think miss Vicky's a real perfect I
imagine Miss Vicky was like the church
members used to make these chips for the
church whenever they had like a picnic
and then the church got together and
they raised enough money and offering
plate when they borrow from this Vicky a
bigger keval she started selling on
Thomas Street
Wow yeah cuz she used to sell before
after she found the church if you were
gonna make a food for the church isn't
potato chips about is low
I would think potato salad maybe she
branched out maybe she started out with
potato salad and she she became see now
and she left the potatoes on them on the
stove too long and they got hard and it
became chips as Miss Vicky and nobody
would tell the houses you know they
lovin is vegan and she sober so she you
think somebody was tossing her potato
salad possible that's some freaky leg
dude
that's very unholy but that I don't even
know why I said that about Bob I doesn't
want to stretch all the boundaries get
it out of the way so long holidays Vicky
apparently he's hurt you you like the
potato salad with mustard or mayo Oh
mustard
I like mustards like one of my favorite
condiments yeah I like mustard base
barbecue sauce oh yeah thanks Mike Sims
yeah Santa's barbecue is a place with
Little Rock we'll be shooting the video
there for sure food that barbecue is
fire they don't get the love I mean I
think probably in the black community a
little rock they do but like white
people they don't talk about Sims they
go to a whole hog
put whole hog is good too I mean that's
good I'm having good experiences and I
had bad experiences yeah but I've never
had a bad experience that seems I don't
think I've ever actually eating inside
Sims I've just gone and gotten it to go
it's a slice well I would I grew up on
stagecoach mm-hmm and so there's the one
on barrel I don't know if it's still
there I don't know if it is either I
always go to the one over on old
fashioned see I knew there was another
one but don't even know where it is and
then there's one off of Southwest Little
Rock there's the one in South right now
Springs guys Springs right next to
churches yeah I know that one because I
get ribs and then I go to churches and
get proud Oakley oh my god yeah and just
wait for a heart attack
yeah one of the first memories I can
remember with Lauren Lauren is my wife
is we were riding somewhere with her mom
and we were like we just are today to
choose like throughout 1516 and she had
her mom good with the drop through at
churches and she got she looked fried
okra so much she got a family sized
fried okra Lauren did yeah and we just
how much it evening I was like and I
didn't like fried over the top so I was
like you so now we're dating or married
we were dating if I be with today not
that long either
really I was in the first year she took
a risk she took a risk eating that much
over in front of you yeah I would have
been like man she don't blow up grab you
dude this is I'm looking forward to this
man I say since you had picked the
smoked salmon you tried that one first
and then I picked this one I'll try this
one first we'll talk about this more
gosh okay good start got the avocado on
their love and it's fresh I hate when I
go to a place and get avocado and it has
like brown freckles on it oh yeah it is
horrible I'm like you did not take care
of this avocado this avocados from last
week don't advertise it if you ain't
gonna do it right we ever cut into
avvocato and use cut those stringy
things in there yeah oh my god yeah all
right I'm giving a try smoked salmon
cook with avocado some nice fresh the
presentation is good
ya know appreciate this great all right
what I'm wondering before you say
anything what I'm wondering about that
when I read that sandwich I thought is
the smoked salmon gonna be overpowering
of the rest of the sandwich like so I'm
what I'm wondering from you is is it
balanced that is funny that is exactly
what I was thinking when I bit into it I
taste the smoked salmon immediately
great
it would have been overpowering if it
was not for the avocado because she bite
into of this slamming and the tomato
salmon yeah they like hit the bottom of
your palate then that avocado eases in
and it balances it out it's great all
right I said I was gonna try that but
now now I want to just do right after
you yeah see what I said what's up never
honestly I've only had fresh like
grilled salmon I've never had smoked
salmon serving yeah this is an
experience for me man look at the
Wow Wow
we don't have napkins I got mayonnaise
all over my phone I got you
so while heats gone I'm gonna spit my
food isn't that hilarious I'm not that
kind of guy I would never do that
this is and tomato Tomatoes fresh and
crisp that's logging it's not like a rim
oh yeah I mean a great grandma condo
some fine grandma is that yeah we're
about I just left one not too long ago
she's a grandmother really yeah Wow I
know right our avocados so good it makes
me want to make some guacamole right now
I've made it once you ever made
guacamole made guacamole yeah yeah
you think people I figure a lot of
people make welcome only and none of my
community if you get until I'm excited
this is a natural reaction because I'm
kind of like yeah make like a moly
you're kind of like oh dude you have it
yeah I ask you survive they brush their
teeth while you never brush your teeth
we should do a survey there's three
young black women right there is to go
up to me say how many y'all have ever
made guacamole should we
oh right bomb yeah I mean they might not
want to be on camera but that's pretty
damn funny you know what no reason to
harm in asking.
Have you ever made guacamole in your home growing up?
No.
So have you ever, growing up, made guacamole in your home?
Not in my home.
Other people's homes. Yeah.
Did they look like him?
This is Lisa from The Cosby Show.
Yeah, so...
I grew up in like a-
My family's like that crunchy granola black people.
So like, yeah. So we-
We made guacamole, avocado is a big thing, kale is a big thing
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
You've never had chicken?
No.
If you see her, shove a drumstick in her mouth!
Hey, well ladies, it was an absolute-
I did not know this was gonna happen,
but I am glad it was you guys.
And I wish you all the best.
You got 2 out of-
2 out of 3 though.
Yeah, so I can stick with my stereotypes
So now we have the
turkey club let's try this baby out all
right this place knows how to make a
damn sandwich I can tell you that man
that um like a de jonge maybe I think so
mustard is like a buttery something I
don't know if that's the bond you taste
that yeah it's um you know I'm talking
about he came takes it though bike it's
like something buttery I think it's the
bread but I mean it just lingers after
everything else I don't know it's so
good I really like the salmon I love
this one I think this one the salmon is
good I would get it again but this Ellen
this is has more different flavors yeah
like more layers yeah
yeah this is like the best Turkey it's
like handful Turkey or whatever it's
like the best turkey out I've had in
anywhere around here anyway I hate when
the place oh yeah and it's like it's
like real Turkey you know like two
thinly sliced turkey doesn't do it this
is like turkey chunk yeah I like the
salmon a lot but this this right here I
call this depth what do you think about
the Kevin Hart situation and now
situation but keep in mind spine or
whatever yeah I didn't hear the details
about it well they're not really putting
out too much he got a car crash
no crap I mean is it was bad I feel that
for once in his life his height saved
him I think he was talking are seats
taken because there's no question he's
in a car seat he says is he big enough
to have it turn forward or backward
Sears know I hate that happen to him but
I did we shout to every place he was
supposed to perform this evening it's
money to fill it if there's any question
in your mind as to whether or not we're
real comedians that let's come back move
right there let's you know now you know
that happens like for real thrill and
clubs oh come on a comedian will stab
you in the back so fast man I told
people that my mom had stage four cancer
and the comedian said is that a stage I
can get on pieces of crap he grabbed I
don't like comics
I love artists comedians when we started
this video since we started this video
there's about 20 people that decided to
become comedians since we started this
video they've already changed their name
on Facebook and everything mm-hmm they
got a page about to shoot some skits and
ruin a comedy scene
markku ban somebody that you ever heard
of them he's a ventriloquist
he's a funny got some great person a
great great person if there's anybody
that would be responsible I would have
to say it was him there weren't a lot of
comedians and he he realized I can do
the time open up cuz he has a whole show
he should do like cruise ships and
things like that I mean he doing the
ventriloquism that word it is now oh
yeah I've been trailer Quizzle doing it
it sounds dirty yeah doesn't it baby
I've been ventriloquist I'm a
ventriloquist
it's like sit under that badge of
Iroquois oh my gosh good for the quad
and then chill acquire oh my god is
America that video was dope good love it
I was like that my boy back you got a
past
he ate avocados huh he ate all the kados
have votado eaten mother they shot my
white person get mad I get mad outright
very I'm glad you have a please walk a
MOLLE they never met avocado I didn't
like I know that I want to see some
dumbass if I walk into like a black
cookout bye barbecue Becky or whatever
they call the college I walk in there
with some guacamole everybody bring they
on dude
yeah like a potluck and then here comes
there's like okay the one we think she's
cool invite her over and she's like foie
gras Kamali what week is it with ya does
it go good with Doritos hot chips
Dawson flamin you know that smart smart
food popcorn that white cheddar popcorn
they always help a gas station yeah yeah
men no wyvern Sam's the other day they
had a big old bag of flaming heart
flaming hot smart food smart fellow like
it's the white cheddar but coated in
flaming hot mica Cheetos flaming hot
well we didn't buy it but we were damn
close cuz I knew I'd look how big that
bag was I said well that's gonna be the
kind of thing I don't know if other
married couples have this like show what
she wants us she wanted him more like
even more than I did but I wanted
flavor-wise but what's gonna happen
though is if she gets it
she'll eat like a little bit and then
I'll he liked all of it and should be
like two weeks later but like I can't
believe that's not any of that left it
was the last two weeks old and they all
get fat well you got to remember y'all
be fat together she's a family-size
Negev okra you need a bag of y'all
belong together man yeah yeah we're just
a couple of fat so stuck in these
waiting to happen
yeah it's like a time bomb I gotta take
you to some good spots
okay yeah I gotta take you hi this is
safe I've been to some food spots before
I know I don't look like it well I'll be
curious where you take me
yeah I mean somewhere well we couldn't
just leave that camera where we left it
and go order right yeah yeah but the
food is great service is horrible
yeah like you go to hood spots the worse
the service the better the food
I believe that cuz they know you're
gonna come back regardless yeah yeah
that's confidence dude the place on my
taking you walk up to the register hey
not gonna say nothing they expect you to
know exactly what you want right then in
there as soon as you step up otherwise
he's just gonna stand down he's gonna
look at you like so what you gonna do
they don't know me they don't owe me
nothing I came in like you want some
food okay I got a problem unless the
food's bad then it's like now you just
ripped me off ripping me off maybe I'd
rather you be mean to me but give me a
good deal I know I even play it's like
my mind is went yeah because that's the
truth
cuz I was the first time I went in there
I was just kind of like excuse me yeah
me straight attitude the entire time
didn't even like look at me nothing it
was like so what you gonna do like this
is my first time here it was like okay
and he just walked away he was gone for
like a good five seven minutes right yes
it is when you stand as a long yeah I
just stand there huh and you finally
decide it and if he comes up and then
goes straight to the register and so I
give him my order give him the money
gave me my change back didn't say thank
you didn't say nothing got my food went
sit down took one bite and I was like
I get it yeah I was like needy have you
ever heard of you ever heard the phrase
do you money well you want to have so
much money that you then you can just
tell people you know what you don't have
to do anything for anybody anymore do
you have so much money that's what you
got food yeah yeah I got food so good
like I know you want this food noise hey
he has great fucking food and we will be
going to that place matter of fact you
will have to go there and I know he'll
let us do it like we're nice now look
Gordon I was back in like a cranky at
the very next day we're about to so let
me see if I can guess what it is its own
Colonel Glen the new Colonel blender the
old front of whoo whoo remember how they
changed Astrix to behave the throttle
blend to make it sing oh yeah cause it
runs if you stay on it you get off 430
to get to it
that part of Carnival not crossing over
University yeah it's closer to 430 okay
then I don't guess I know where it's
right it's right next to a liquor store
of course right Nick I mean it's it
shares a building with the liquor store
matter of fact oh no you're talking
about a Utama chicken wings cafe yeah
yeah yeah buddy I'm talking about West
more liquor store under yeah buddy yeah
my dad used to stop there get him a
Foster's tallboy I heard I was a kid
yeah very familiar with that liquor
store that's crazy
unless we go by there every night Robert
I caught the bus to first dumb bar in
junior high huh and then central for
high school and so I brought the bus
down down that all the time from stage
go from Otter Creek area down to that's
exactly what I saw you called it no have
you ever eaten there
yeah he's all I gotta say I I thought
you were gonna maybe be talking about
glasses in no I know exactly right I've
never been there either but I know I got
a wife brother that likes to go there he
likes going to eat the ones the buffalo
fish or whatever but he got buffalo at
this spot too really Oh guys Lou I never
had it I never really liked fish until
recently really yeah like that's why I'd
never had smoked salmon before I used to
be real picky fish smell fish flavor not
down with the fried I didn't like it but
now last few years they're all about it
man look I'm familiar that slab dropping
we can't do it we can't do it where I
want to do it because it's corporate I
know they'll never let us do it but tell
the world how good the ahi tuna is at
Outback Steakhouse
y'all you have not had the seared ahi
tuna appetizer at Outback Steakhouse I
don't know what you're doing with your
life this stuff this guy so we were in
West Virginia on a road trip for gig and
he said man I just got this craving for
ahi tuna I got to go to Outback and I'm
gonna be honest inside I was thinking
he's so intense on his food he's my
headliner I believe very but I've opened
it for him when I'm on the road he hates
when I say this but whatever he wants to
do he can do but inside I'm thinking man
this is kind of a pain in the ass
he's got to get this specific dish I'm
like this dude's a diva we're in West
Virginia and he's like I gotta get
seared ahi tuna in the mountains of West
Virginia hi okay so we find we found the
outback and he said you gotta try this
all he tuna and I thought I know I'm
gonna like this this shit they sear it
very lightly on both sides and then it's
just raw in the middle like sushi and he
gave me one bite it's peppered on both
sides to like take like good quality
black pepper y'all it's like heaven in
your mouth this stopped me in my tracks
like damn
so now back if you're listening you want
to sponsor us we will eat all the Augie
tuna that you could possibly feed us the
oceans out man we can meet us out back
that is the absolute I didn't even I
feel bad but I wanted that to them I was
not I was so close to it yeah I was like
there was no way I was not not not gonna
eat that this is so bad it was like I
thought if you could drive to the ocean
and catch some tuna he would have gone
it is so immense in your mouth its
flavor and oh
yeah I hate tuna pizza the ham hate it
dude it's so fishy
you don't like it either you don't like
it but you like that the raw tuna I like
boxing the world seemed the bottom light
I don't care if you put relish and what
else do they put relish and mayonnaise
to make the mm I don't care if it's your
great grand mom's recipe issues to make
it for you as a kid I don't want peace
of it
I don't know parts of it man my dad used
to growing up he'd get the canned salmon
maybe a red canned salmon yeah he would
open that shit up man it stinks the
whole house for hours you could have had
a car accident that knocked you so hard
you lost your sense of smell that shit
would bring it back good stinks growing
up were you ever on public assistance
like WIC or welfare or anything like
though child support still live yeah we
did we did it was my brother my sister
and then my mother and my father who was
in school at the time and we were living
in Louisville Kentucky and it was just
like bad it was bad no money he's in
school trying to raise a family of five
and we had to do this thing called wit
where they you know I'm talking about
get you milk and they give you horrible
cereal like no flavor no things at the
grocery store let's say WIC approved
yeah but it's nobody if it wasn't for
WIC they would never sell right thank
God for government right and I
government cheese yeah
but government cheese is best cheese
that every listen I would go every day
so government cheese in the grocery
store I would buy it over Velveeta any
day that week really oh my god it's the
best cheese and oh yeah it's the best
cheese you get can be
beep in a king as a silver can like the
rapper had been taking off and it's a
picture of a cow and he just says be oh
my god
dead serious was it like like Sean
Stevens had yeah I was not like patty or
it wasn't like ground it was like Cooke
chunks of beef you know like a
water-base it sounds gross I thought it
was great
my mother used to make rice that you
could get to and then the beef and I was
like a mill yeah they always made sure
we ate that's a good thing yeah rough
days but it was fine as hell then when
you're a kid you don't really know the
difference no no I do know with the food
stamps though because we had we had the
actual stamps so we didn't have tons of
money and we weren't on public
assistance or anything we found a way to
get by but there was this kid down the
road named Billy that lived in a trailer
and his mom always hated me I could tell
she in line because it's like we lived
in a regular house and they live in a
train room but they were like
self-conscious about it and my mom kind
of didn't like him because he lived in a
trailer likes to shoot like we we liked
it we were friends we'd look play like
Home Run Derby hit it over the power
lines and shares in the yard you know
and we tell me all the time about each
other's parents didn't like didn't
really but they never really you don't
have didn't if it was just something
that was like honking line though yeah
yeah
and one time me and Billy I don't
remember I can't remember after this
many years what the game was probably it
could have been Home Run Derby could've
been whatever but he bet me one who'd
stay like a dollar in food stamps this
is totally true and I beat him in
whatever it was and I took that food
stamp - there was a convenience store
block up the road and I went up there
and catch it in for a coke I came home
and told my mom I didn't think anything
of it I was like man I went these
billion home run derby and
and he we bet a food stamp or I had a
dollar he'd been me at food stamp and I
took the food stamp and got a coca she
worked my ass are you serious yes she
said now the neighborhood thinks that
were poor on food stamps she was worried
about how it looked
Michael mom we are kind of poor Popeyes
Chicken
Oh papa chicken how do you okay so
people think that it's all race no
there's no fuck that
okay so well it's not race but it is
that it is you know but let's put it
this way
hit Trump we're gonna issue a statement
on the Popeyes sandwich versus the
chick-fil-a sandwich he would say there
was very calm people on both sides okay
I personally I haven't had one have you
know I haven't had one well I mean
Papapa Papageno suppose I had to draw a
sandwich you never had the chick-fil-a
sandwich no I don't I don't like
chick-fil-a I don't like I like much I
don't like drumsticks and thighs baked
or deep-fried no yeah that's nothing
wrong with them so I'm most if I take
blame to be honest with the waffle fries
I've heard that I just like there ain't
nowhere you can go out and give the
waffle fries it's like Arby's I'll go
there and get the curly fries I don't
like anything else in the menu that I
get Superleggera oh my god but I can't
figure out what the deal is
by if you see people pulling guns yeah
fighting mad over popeyes chicken
sandwich I've never had anything from a
fast-food restaurant then I'm willing to
fight for
I don't I feel like that somebody that
has like they don't need to be on social
media ever ever they shouldn't go
outside the hype the hype has affected
their brain to the point I mean I feel
like maybe I feel like just just have a
worldstar open a restaurant how some
chick in the parking lot breaking
somebody's a boy welcome to All Stars oh
my god where every meal may be your last
have somebody in a police officer
uniform
I'm not resistant I'm not resistant oh
my god I feel like I shouldn't be making
these jokes oh that's you man
that's all you but I say this money and
then how like you got to had a white
person sitting in the corner I need the
police yeah
actually a whole bunch of black people
hey you got a some white girls twerking
just no reason that shouldn't be
appropriated me golf is I'm loving it
Burger King has had a chill out of your
way when world's starving
we're on for your life they only let you
order on an app on your phone
you pay in videos yeah how many likes I
may share how many views you got you
don't keep up with football do you I
mean some what why you want to talk
about Antonio Brown I'm aware of Antonio
Brown
yeah keep up I know I know what's going
down he might not even play it down for
the Raiders like a idiot no he's in the
right place at the right branch on the
right friends yeah when baby wins that's
that's the total Raiders move to have a
guy that you trade for and don't even
play it down he might have lost thirty
million dollars like he knew they could
cut them they've not paid him a penny
yet five hundred thousand dollars to
show up to work out he didn't have to
bring us with all he had to do is walk
through the door maybe lift a few
weights maybe run around a little bit
that's what you do for a living
talk to the people whatever show up to a
workout one workout for $500,000 he
didn't do it he didn't show up I would
run to that month his last name is brown
because he does some dumb shit
keep the ready to slap the general
manager he ain't played one game yet he
really even practiced yet
that's like if you get a job at
McDonald's and doing training you cut
your manager out he arrived at training
camp in a hot-air balloon
did he really I didn't hear the in a
hot-air balloon oh say that again
training camp and a hot-air balloon you
know how long it takes to move in a
hot-air balloon this is where I get torn
like you know we're performers for a
living I like a performer and I like
somebody's got some flash but I also
hate wastefulness and I hate that me me
me and just making it where you you're
part of a team of whatever Hunter guys
whatever training can't even show up in
a hot air balloon I don't I sound like I
hate her but it's just no I don't know
it just hi everyone what's the purpose I
mean even if that's what you do mean to
tell me you didn't dream my scoring the
winning touchdown in a Super Bowl
no this mother dreamed of taking a hot
air balloon to training camp by there's
no purpose yeah just to be like I can do
that you might as well parachute out
next maybe it was a metaphor for all
four always hot air yeah shit yeah he's
always spewing hot air it was just it
was just a balloon and no flame he was
just Antonio going
I can't believe that Oh
did you see where the president was
wrong about the food making it about
Georgia Alabama Alabama again I saw the
headlines I haven't I've been so focused
on our shit on its food he said it was
going directly hit Alabama and his team
told him no so he had them free a
hurricane like map simulation simulation
simulation that showed it hitting
Alabama and everybody else in the world
even aliens and other planets are like
is he talking about
and so he tried to sit up there pretend
like he was right yeah instead of just
biting the bullet didn't even pretend he
was dead and wrong he's still stuck a
little like a little kid
did you break that no there's nobody
else in the room no I didn't break it
almost this that's scary so he had
somebody create a diagram to show that
the hurricane was gonna hit a LaBelle
okay that's so dumb what a waste of time
do you know how crazy that is the
hurricane
