PC gaming is a vast
ocean of entertainment,
and if you want to explore,
all you have to do is sail out.
And speaking of selling out,
this is my first-ever sponsored video!
That's right, the-
the folks over at Riot have
decided to corporately sanction
a video from a man who is best known
for hanging sad clown
portraits in his apartment.
You see, they just released VALORANT,
and since I'm currently stuck at home
they were kind enough to give me a budget
to help turbocharge my computer,
so that way I could unravel
how to get good at PC gaming.
But the thing about VALORANT
is that you don't need a
high-end PC to play it.
Riot told me that even on an old clunker
with minimum specs, you can
still play competitively.
And sure enough, I excavated my ancient PC
in order to test this,
and it played great.
- It plays great.
Oh, that doesn't count.
So I could use that sponsorship money
to soup up my computer or I could use it
to solve one of PC
gaming's biggest problems.
Unlike a console, which can
plug into a communal TV,
true PC gaming needs a dedicated space.
I live in a three-bedroom
apartment with two other roommates
and they are not gonna be cool with me
setting up my sick rig
in the spot where we keep
recycling that we haven't
taken out in two weeks.
In fact, the only unused
personal space I have
is this four-foot square
right next to my radiator.
And I like to keep that block unused
for whenever I wanna
feel like a rich person.
- Check me out!
But maybe, with a little
help from my sponsor...'s money,
I can turn those 16 square
feet into a gamer's paradise.
Today I'm teaching you how to
make the perfect gamer space.
(lively dance music)
Oh!
Yeah!
For inspiration, I
asked a couple coworkers
what they look for in a PC gaming space.
- Hi, I'm Jeff Ramos.
- I'm Julia.
If there was anyone at
Polygon who could lead me
to gamer space perfection
it would be Jeff and Julia,
and in our discussions it became clear
that there are four major elements
to a good gaming environment.
The first is a solid foundation.
If I want to build a PC gaming space,
where should I start?
- First, I think you need a computer.
- Check!
But without these other
foundational elements,
I'll have less of a gamer space
and more of an ominous obelisk.
From there, you can start
embellishing your foundation
with element two, a virtual gaming space,
which is just a fancy way of saying
a place you can stream games from.
- It made me feel a little less lonely
as I'm studying and stuff,
because there's just like a voice.
And I guess I wanted to
do that for people, also.
- Streaming for you was less about
getting big and it was more about
sharing an experience with your friends.
- If I got big along the way I
would be like, "That's fine."
- Element three is aesthetics.
If you're gonna spend
hours at your computer,
at the very least it
should be nice to look at,
and it should represent you.
- Everything else at my desk is black.
There's very little
decoration, and I like that
'cause it's clear mind, I can just focus
on what I'm doing at any given moment,
versus looking at a
desk full of Funko Pops.
- I had, I think, this specific Pop figure
of Vi from "League of Legends."
and then it just kind of expanded.
Since I work from home, too,
I try to make my space fun and engaging.
- And the final element:
Caters to bodily needs.
- What type of chair is
that that you're sitting in?
- Oh, it's a terrible one and
it's going to be replaced.
And it gives me consistent back pain.
- Does that affect your gaming at all?
- If I'm not comfortable,
then I'm just thinking,
"Dang, my butt hurts, my back hurts,"
and then I can't pay attention to things.
- Do you ever eat near your computer?
Do you ever have to refuel?
- I try to separate
eating from my desk space.
There is a space off to
the left where I usually
will always have a coffee
cup and a water bottle,
and sometimes there'll be like a snack.
- When you're in the throes of a match,
you don't wanna be worried
about your back hurting
or feeling a little famished,
and that means your gamer
space should provide
the fuel and comfort your body needs.
If you can amalgamate these four elements,
you'll have a good gamer space.
But I'm making the perfect one.
And how can we prove it's perfect?
An increase in gaming performance!
Ha ha, you thought I wasn't gonna do
what I was sponsored to do!
Get outta here, I'm just killin'
two birds with one stone!
My coworkers said in no uncertain terms
that a good gamer space
will make me a better gamer.
Once I have a dedicated space,
that's gonna be all I'm gonna need
in order to be proficient at this game?
- Well, you should still
practice a little bit, I mean--
- Though I normally don't
let little things like rules
stand between me and victory,
"Valorant" has anti-cheat software
that kinda makes that impossible,
so there really is no way for me
to get good at this
game without practicing.
But a perfect gamer space will envelop me
in a cocoon of learning,
shutting out the world around me.
By the end of this build, I'll prove
that I've developed a perfect gamer space
by showing just how much better
at PC gaming I've become.
Luckily, that's not a very high bar.
That doesn't count.
And with my four elements
defined, it was time to start.
I taped out the four-by-four square
and purchased a desk that
would fit within the perimeter,
built the desk, got the monitor unpacked,
computer, keyboard, mouse in position,
and we were in business.
Element one, check.
I hopped right into "Valorant,"
and things were going
way better than with
my coffee table setup.
And in hindsight,
maybe I should've stopped there.
But I still had money to burn.
You see, I really was
getting better at "Valorant,"
but I had no way of clearly showing
just how well I was doing.
And as Jeff said--
- 'Cause if I no-scope and
there's no one around to see it,
then does it matter?
- I ordered a nice microphone
and got out my old webcam
to set up my streaming space.
All right, check, check.
We are set to go, everything
looks great on the... game.
Things do not look as great...
Although I was prepared to
start gaming for the masses,
my room was not.
I can do better than this.
If I go live with this setup,
everyone's gonna make
fun of my finger-jointed
builder's-grade garbage molding!
I can't be known as the
substandard molding guy.
Luckily, I had two sources of inspiration
for gamer space aesthetics on opposite
sides of the spectrum.
I wanted to land somewhere in the middle.
Obviously, the first step
was installing RGB LEDs,
because a gamer space
without constantly changing rainbow lights
is like a little league coach
without wraparound Oakleys.
I also purchased a modest
number of game figurines,
because even with a sponsor,
hoo boy, those things are expensive.
But at the end of this, my
space still felt pretty empty,
so I gathered all the
figurines I could find.
All of them.
Beyond this, there was nothing behind me
to brand me as a true gamer
for the stream viewers,
so I mocked up a quick poster idea
and sent it over to my coworker Pat
for some illustration work,
and used a little bit
more of that sponsor money
to purchase a large cloth banner.
Oh my god.
It's perfect.
Finally, I purchased a video
game-themed birthday party set,
and with that my aesthetic was complete.
What's up, y'all!
I am back at it at the streaming setup.
We've got everyone here.
You can tell, as I always say back there,
don't talk to me before
I've had my gaming.
I just have a little, there's
actually nothing in this cup.
I should probably get
something into this cup.
Jeff warned me about
keeping snacks off my desk,
but I was worried about getting hangry
in the middle of gaming.
So I prepped some peanut butter toast.
Also, Julia had a specific piece of advice
about emotional needs.
- I have one of the guy from Beastars,
so when I get too mad
about playing video games
I can look at him and he'll soothe me.
- Though the sight of
an anthropomorphic wolf
isn't necessarily soothing to me,
I do think it's important
for me to have something
to calm me down after the rough matches:
Warm milk.
And I still had some
sponsorship money left over,
so I purchased myself a gamer chair.
Unfortunately, the only
one that could ship in time
was the largest size, which meant
I had to rearrange some furniture.
And with that, the perfect
gamer space was complete,
all four elements checked.
The gamer space is created,
and all that's left for me to do
is be the gamer within the space.
I played a few matches, taking
a sip from the warm milk
any time I got a little flustered.
But for some reason, I wasn't much better
than when I started this journey.
It's just that my wrists hurt.
That's the only reason why
things aren't going great.
Even after running to the drugstore
to pick up some compression braces,
my gaming didn't improve.
It didn't make any sense.
I had spent over a week
building this gamer space,
which included dozens of
minutes playing VALORANT.
Why wasn't I any better?
The space isn't perfect yet.
That's the only explanation.
I hadn't reached my goal
of being a better PC gamer.
But I also hadn't run
out of sponsor money.
It was time for a second pass.
My single monitor wasn't giving me
enough screen real estate
for what really mattered:
My stream setup.
So I got a second one,
and also some nice lights.
We have now upgraded our new space.
I can now see my game, and I can also see
what my stream setup's gonna be.
It's lookin' good.
Enough.
But good enough is never enough
when one is striving for perfection.
The problem with streaming
is that most people are okay
with one camera and one game.
I am an auteur who
understand the importance
of cilimintography, and
if I'm supposed to stream
in a manner that matches my ourverver,
I NEED.
MORE.
CAMERAS.
Sadly, pretty much every
webcam is currently sold out.
I was running low on time,
and that's one thing
sponsor money can't buy.
But it can buy enterprise level
video conferencing solutions.
Just wanted to check in really quickly
to let you know that
I am unstoppable!
*CACKLING*
- [Roommate] Brian!
- Sorry.
I figured out how to do three cams on OBS,
and now I can play a game.
Which is great, except
looking at the overlay,
it's a little busy.
Our little test proved that there were
two big issues with our space.
The first was that the cameras
took up most of the screen.
The second is that my roommates
didn't enjoy hearing me yell,
which is nothing new.
But that's when it hit me.
I have a plan on how to kill
two birds with one stone:
By recycling all of the
boxes I've received.
If I could create a soundproof
box around my gamer space
and cover it in a green screen,
then I'd have more screen space
and my roommates would stop yelling at me.
So I used more of my sponsorship money
to buy a bunch of expensive studio foam,
and I taped it to a bunch of cardboard.
And then I threw a green
screen over the top of it
and viola, a hermetically
sealed gamer space.
Now, a few of you might be wondering,
"How does one get into this space?"
But you'll see that right
behind my air conditioning unit,
there's a way that I can
crawl underneath there.
And the best part about
it, it's not even dark
because we've got the...
I put in the LEDs!
All I have to do is just weasel my way in.
They say, "No pain, no gain."
And you know, I'm a
gamer
"No pame, no game."
Maybe that's better
than my current slogan.
Oh, get the head through first,
'cause that's the hardest
part of it, you know.
Just kinda like...
being born.
Ah, okay.
Oh.
Do a quick one 180.
And then you swap up,
and then you're here.
And then you're in the,
(sighs) and then you're
in the gamer space.
As easy as pie.
After a vigorous four-minute entrance,
it was clear that things
were working out great.
Check this out!
Look, there's so much I can,
you can see the whole UI.
So there is the problem of these screens.
I spend a lot of time trying to make sure
that I had a cool-looking background.
Such is the curse of the green screen.
Though you can put anything behind it,
sometimes you are left with the void.
I worked so hard to make sure
that my background expressed my gamerhood,
and the gamer box just covered it up.
I wanted to digitally recreate it,
but since I had three cameras
it would have to be in 3D.
So I reached out to my coworker Jenna
to mock something up in Blender for me,
based on some previous images
I had of my gamer space.
Okay, so we just got the
new background set up.
Let's get up in here!
Alrighty, okay.
(grunting) Okay!
I can...
Shit.
(groans) My shirt got caught on a thing.
This was a rude awakening,
but a necessary one.
My current clothing
setup was not compatible
with the gaming rig, so
I figured out a new way
to kill two birds with one stone.
The idea came from my compression braces.
My wrists felt so much
better while compressed,
and it made me wonder:
What if all of me was compressed?
So I looked up those
tactical black skin suits
that athletes wear in the Olympics,
but I was running dangerously
low on time and money
so I had to order from a
less-than-scrupulous vendor.
And when it finally arrived it
was not to my specifications.
I didn't have any more time.
The deadline was fast approaching.
So I dealt with what I had,
crawled into my sweltering
gamer space and--
I see what the problem is now.
My new compression suit was causing me
to dissolve into Jenna's
wonderful background.
So I asked her to remodel it,
this time with a 3D
photorealistic virtual Brian
that I could superimpose my face onto.
And the worst part of it was that--
And I forgot my snacks!
But in all tribulations there
is a chance for greatness,
and greatness was found
with a little inspiration,
a little heat exhaustion
and the very last of my sponsorship money.
I'm covered head to toe in
this important green screen,
and I don't want this to
get marred, obviously.
So what I've come up with,
instead of having to
eat toast with my hands,
is that I've purchased
a horse feedbag.
And I was worried about, you know,
my hot milk is gonna start to cool down.
And my computer right now is
running a little bit hot, too.
Why don't I just kill
two birds with one stone?
There are tons of liquid-cooled
computers out there,
and if I use this tubing,
I can feed the cool milk
through the PC, cooling it down perfectly,
up around my headset, over the microphone.
Okay, I got my feedbag, which
will allow me to eat my snacks
and then I've got my
warm milk, which is also
gonna be cooling my computer in the box.
I'll have my snacks and I'll have my box,
and I can stay in there.
With the invention of the
milk-cooled PC, patent pending,
and the feedback-sustained
me, patent pending,
the perfect gamer space was complete.
Okay.
(grunts) Hello!
Gamers.
I have my feedbag, I
tossed it over beforehand.
The crown of it all,
my milk-cooled PC.
(Brian panting)
Let's get gamin'.
Thought the feedbag worked wonders,
I was still doing poorly in my matches.
I was getting flustered
and couldn't focus,
but that's nothing a little
warm milk couldn't help.
Come on! (groans)
See, I don't get, oh,
no no no no no, stop!
No no no, uh, shit!
Shit, shit!
Ah!
Oh, this is bad!
This is very bad!
This is very bad!
After mopping up the MILK
MSTR's lactose coolant fluid
and toweling myself off,
I broke out the gaming
laptop I borrowed from work
and sat back down in my original
VALORANT test position.
And I was better.
Without the lights and the monitors
and the hands-free snacks,
I was gaming better on a coffee table
than in my dedicated space.
So did I screw up
and kill too many birds with too few stones?
Or was I a less than perfect gamer?
Perhaps I was asking a
toddler to pilot a helicopter.
There's nothing wrong with
my hot cardboard box of gaming perfection.
I simply was not ready
to handle it responsibly.
One day, I will reenter that cocoon
and emerge a wonderful gaming butterfly.
But before I grow my wings,
this little grub must learn to crawl.
And also how to defuse
the spike without dying.
It seems impossible.
Has anyone done it yet?
I doubt anyone's done that yet.
That's ridiculous.
(cheery music)
Oh, I'm so dumb.
I screwed it in the wrong way.
- [Karen] I didn't wanna say nothin'.
- You didn't wanna say nothin'?
- [Karen] Well, I looked at it and I knew.
- You looked at it and you knew?
- [Karen] Yeah. (laughs)
- And you didn't say nothin'?
No!
