I recently posted to Facebook that I was pregnant
Not true but my attention meter was low that day
 
And I'm mentally ill
Have I have to see medical attention for this
Which is actually find because medical attention is still a form of attention
But I did post this pregnancy thing on Twitter or
on Facebook, both
And my mom saw it
And she called me, hysterically, what is this?
You know, what's happening?
And I was like, "Mom, I am not really pregnant, okay?
And if I was really pregnant, I absolutely would've tagged
you in the Facebook post
I also would've taken time to checking with you
And make sure that you are absolutely ready to raise this baby for me
But at last I am not pregnant
Unless stuffed animals can get you pregnant
But I appreciate they can't
It's probably the right time for me
just bite the bullet in like you know
the inwear in my maternity jeans
Not pregnant just lazy as hell
And unfortunately there's no morning after pill for eating a dozen donuts
They just stay there and they grow
