You know the saying,
a picture says more than a thousand words?
Well, so does body language.
Other than paying attention to what people say,
we usually only focus on how they say it.
Their tone of voice.
I'm not a racist, I just want to watch the movie.
I'm only gonna say this one more time, sir.
Calm down.
I'm calm!
But there's a lot more going on
with what they're not saying.
How people behave and express themselves
goes way beyond their words
as their body language alone can reveal a lot
about what they're thinking and feeling.
Research suggests that sixty to ninety percent
of our communication is non-verbal.
Professor Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer
researcher of body language,
found through extensive studies that only
7% of a message is conveyed through words,
38% is communicated through vocal elements
and 55% through non-verbal elements.
You heard that right.
55 percent!
Wait...
This means that, as a coach,
learning how to read the nonverbal cues
your clients or potential clients send
while communicating with you,
is a highly valuable skill.
Hi, this is Ajit Nawalkha and today
we're talking about the most important cues to
look out for when reading your client's body language.
Whether we are talking or not,
we all reveal hidden messages through
our bodies and movements.
Most of the time, this happens unconsciously
which is why it's such a crucial skill
to decipher what your client is really saying
underneath it all.
There are so many different emotions and thoughts
we can express through body language,
we can't possibly cover them all here.
So today we'll focus on four types of body language
and the most relevant cues you want to know
to use in your next coaching conversation.
The first type is eye contact.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Paying attention to your client's eyes
is one of the easiest ways to read their body language
as they are very expressive.
I can do it.
And usually not that creepy.
One of the most obvious traits
of eye behavior is where your client is looking.
Do they make direct eye contact with you
or are they looking away?
Inability to make direct eye contact could be signs
of lying,
boredom
or disinterest.
If they look down, however,
it often indicates nervousness
or submissiveness.
There is also glancing.
Glancing at something or someone
may reveal a hidden desire.
For example, glancing at the door
would suggest your client wants to leave
or glancing at someone would suggest
they want to approach that person.
Another cue you can look out for
is their blinking rate.
We tend to blink more when we are
thinking more or when we're stressed.
And in some cases, it can also be a sign of lying,
especially when it's combined with face touching.
So if you see your client's blinking rate increase
in an unusual way, they might be hiding something.
The second type of body language
are facial expressions.
Facial expressions are the voluntary
and involuntary movements of our facial muscles
that express various different emotions.
We are naturally drawn to observing
someone's face to understand their hidden emotions.
Extensive research in this topic
concluded seven universal microexpressions.
I recommend you to spare some time
to google research on them later on.
For now, I want to share with you
two important cues of facial expressions.
First up is smile.
On average, a smile uses 12 facial muscles
which will vary depending on the type of smile.
There are genuine smiles,
fake smiles
and half smiles.
And the type of smile that can't even
cover up that we are lying.
It's so tasty too!
It's just like candy.
So, how to tell the kind of smile
your client is sharing with you?
When it comes to smiling,
the mouth can lie but the eyes cannot.
A genuine smile engages the whole face
especially the eyes.
Look for their laugh lines
or the tiny crinkles at the corner of their eyes.
If they aren't there, it most likely means
that you're receiving a fake smile.
A fake smile only uses the mouth muscles
and is usually used to convey pleasure
or approval.
A half smile, however, is a facial behavior that
only engages the muscles on one side of the mouth,
and it often indicates sarcasm
or uncertainty.
The second cue are the eyebrows.
There are three main emotions that
make us raise our eyebrows
which are surprise,
worry,
and fear.
Or all three of them at the same time.
I'm pregnant.
It's usually a sign of discomfort
and it's pretty easy to spot.
However, if you notice your client
raises their eyebrows on a topic that wouldn't
logically cause surprise, worry or fear,
it might mean there is something else
going on you want to pay attention to.
What facial expressions have you found
your clients doing most?
Drop us a comment below and share your experience
reading the body language of your clients.
Let's go into the third type of body language
which is body movement and posture.
Our body movement can reveal a lot
about our preferences and nervousness.
Is our client leaning forward or backward?
Are they moving towards us
or away from us?
Are they still or are they
changing their body position every 5 seconds?
There are 4 cues you want to look out for.
Firstly, crossed arms and legs may signal
resistance to your ideas.
Think of them as physical barriers
suggesting a defensive, blocking gesture.
Welcome to my world.
Not welcome to my world.
Welcome.
Not welcome.
It's highly likely that if your client
crosses their arms or legs at you,
they're not open to what you're saying.
Even if they're smiling and engaged in the conversation.
It could also signal anxiety,
vulnerability
or a closed mind.
Another cue you want to notice
is exaggerated nodding.
When in conversation with a client,
if you see them nodding excessively
at what you're saying,
it could mean they are worried about
what you think of them and
are communicating approval anxiety.
Another body movement we tend to use a lot
are our hands.
If you know anything about sign language,
you know there is a possibility to have
a full-on conversation using only your hands.
What can I get started for you today?
What size?
Alright.
Three venti lattes.
If you know what you're doing, of course.
But our unconscious hand movements
can say a lot about what we are thinking.
Observe if your client's hands are in their pockets
when standing or sitting.
This often indicates nervousness,
boredom
or outright deception.
Another cue is pointing when making hand gestures,
especially in group settings
like meetings and group coaching.
While talking, a participant will
unconsciously point in the direction
of another person in the group
with whom they share an affinity with.
Last cue you can look out for is if
your client holds an object between him or her and you.
This is often interpreted as a barrier,
meaning to block out the other person
or to express rejection
or resistance.
And then the second part of this body language type,
the posture.
Do you know that feeling when
someone walks into a room
and you can immediately tell they are in charge?
Move it!
I don't understand why it's so difficult
to confirm an appointment.
I'm so sorry, Miranda.
I actually did confirm...
Details of your incompetence do not interest me.
Tell Simone I'm not going to approve that girl...
You'd probably notice they're walking
with an erect posture, relaxed hands,
and palms facing down,
and gestures that exude confidence and authority.
Our brains are wired to associate power
with the amount of space people take up.
Your client's posture can tell a story on its own.
Standing or sitting up straight with
their shoulders back in a power position,
it commands respect and engagement.
Opposite to that, slouching,
which takes up less space and projects less power.
And last but not the least,
we have ornaments.
This is not an obvious element
and many people overlook it,
but it can also reveal a lot about
our non-verbal communication.
Our clothes, jewelry,
hairstyle and accessories are all extensions
of our body language.
On the other hand, the styles and colors
we use are useful cues.
For example, colorful ornaments can express
a bright personality and a joyful mood.
While dark or monochromatic ones can express
sadness or depression.
But it's not only what we wear
but how we interact with our ornaments.
Does our client fidget and play
with their watch or their ring?
Are they constantly touching their hair
or fixing their clothes?
These could be signs of discomfort,
boredom or anxiety.
So let's recap these four most common types
and cues of body language you want to know
to hone your ability to read body language.
First are the eyes,
where we talked about eye contact,
glancing and blinking.
Then we covered facial expressions
where we highlighted smiles and eyebrows.
Thirdly, we talked about body movement and posture.
The signs made by our arms, legs, head, and hands.
And lastly, our ornaments
and how we interact with them.
Mastering these elements is a great start
for you to understand your clients better
and be able to serve them even better.
But there's a disclaimer.
These tips can give you great insight,
but they're not foolproof
and will not apply to all people 100% of the time.
Different cultures and backgrounds
and individual body language habits
can influence each person's non-verbal cues.
Understanding body language is one of the
top coaching skills every world-class coach needs.
Click here to watch the video where we
reveal the other three skills you want to focus on.
What other body language cues have you
often observed in conversations?
Share it with us in the comment section below.
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Thank you for watching
and have a phenomenal day.
