Hello again.
As you can see by my outfit
It is still the Sunday of the previous recordings here in London
I have just completed the two videos regarding Sharia
and I was getting ready to switch off my camera.
I actually did switch off the camera, I was  getting ready
for subtitling the videos, when....
I received two questions in one of the previous videos in my YouTube channel.
I will read the questions to you. The one sais:
How should a man be punished, according to Sharia, if he rapes his wife?
And underneath, a personal question to me:
"Sofia, why the rape of children and women is LEGAL in Islam".
Since I talked about Sharia, I decided to respond to this question.
Now, before I go into this process.
I address those of you that you are Muslims
whether born Muslims, or converts.
You will come across such type of questions.
These are the classical questions!
Primarily
the topics with which those who hate Islam
attack Muslims
are family law and the position of the woman.
Why? Because they can!
Because this is the area where Islam (as practised) falls behind.
And I am talking as a woman that is exceptionally independent and dynamic.
And this was the primary reason that I did not convert
although I was reading, learning, was interested in Islam
for almost ten years I did not convert
until I clarified certain things in my head and I realised
that as a woman with my own character, I want to be Muslim.
But before I go into the drawbacks of Islam, as a practising experience
when you are faced with such type of questions
You should consider three things
I will actually talk about what  I do, and from that point onwards
you can follow my advice, or not!
The first step is to evaluate the person that poses this question.
Here, this YouTube user,
whereas he/she writes Greek adequately, the user name is
Rickenbacker Von Braun.
This is not an actual Greek name.
Therefore, this leads us to understand that this is a troll. An account behind which can be
a 13-year-old child that is bored and has nothing better to do
a 60-year-old man
a man or a woman or a non-gender person
It might be an exceptionally educated individual
or an uneducated person. Could be anyone!
No one can know! Whereas my profile, on the other hand, is public. Everyone can know who I am.
With such user profiles
do not even bother yourselves, they are trolls.
This individual exists only to create such a disturbance.
I did check the account
and it contains four videos, three of which are against Islam.
And is this important? It is!
It matters.
Before I get into the process of answering any question regarding Islam
it is important to know whether this person is asking because (s)he  really wants to learn
or is asking in aim to create controversy,
to induce me to say something and then (s)he will say something else
and at the end to feel that (s)he
is victorious. In essence, this person just wants to suck energy
and to feel superior, male or female.
Personally,
I do not get into such games. At all!
Neither as a person nor as a Muslim specifically.
I am not here to please anyone.
I am not here to satisfy anyone else, other than God.
And in whatever concerns my actions
when those actions do not affect others
for instance, whether I pray
theoretically, I should pray
If I am not praying, I will not apologise to any mortal.
( A Greek expression that translates in "my taste, my hat").
Whether I use or do not use makeup,
whether I cover or not cover, whether I use nail polish or do not use nail polish.
So long that my action does not have an impact on someone else, on the community,
I am not obliged to justify myself to any mortal.
This is in the part of my own actions.
If I am not obliged to justify my own actions, imagine
the extent to which I am not obliged to justify other people's actions!
I will not apologise or justify
other Muslims' actions.
It is non of my concerns.
And as I have mentioned in previous videos
there is no such thing as "one Islam". I, as Muslim, am not the same with a Salafi Muslim.
I am a Progressive Muslim, I am not the same as a Salafi Muslim.
I am not the same with a Shi'a Muslim
There are so many versions of Islam.
We are not all the same.
Therefore I will not apologise for other Muslims' actions
there is no such a possibility
nor will I apologise for the wrongdoings of Islam.
And the main counter-argument here is
"then how did you choose Islam if it is not perfect,  if you admit Islam has problems?"
In this, I respond by saying that everything
any system, spiritual, religious, philosophical
any system that contains the human factor, has some problem.
Nothing is perfect.
And that is why some Muslims follow solely the Qur'an that is considered by Muslims to be the law of God.
the words of God. From that point on, even Hadith
are based on human actions, they are
influenced by the human factor.
so
in such a type of troll questions, I do not respond.
It is also very important to see the question. The same person has stated two questions.
The first question is more logical.
"How a man should be punished, according to Sharia, if he rapes his wife"
This person acknowledges that this behaviour is punishable in Sharia.
And as I have already said in the previous videos, Sharia is not solely the law of God.
Sharia contains fiqh, contains the human factor.
The other question, here in which the word "legal"
is emphasised by being written in capital letters, I am not sure whether it shown in the camera
"Why the rape of children and women is LEGAL in Islam"
Which Islam brother?
Haven't we say a million times that there is no such thing as one monolithic entity of Islam?
Islam is an idea, a notion.
The religion called "Islam" has many branches.
And the word "legal" capitalised. So, this person
takes it as a fact that it is legal
(rape) is legal, so come and tell me Sofia why is it legal.
No brother, I will not tell you. To begin with, it is not legal.
It would be legal in Islam
If the gracious God, within the Qur'an, was saying  "go rape your wife, freely and well done my sons"
This would make rape legal in Islam.
If it was explicitly stated within the Qur'an. Since it is not, it is not legal!
Let's see now
let's go into the essence of the topic because it is a typical question.
In this question, regarding the rape of children and women,
here we have the well known to everyone element of Aisha's marriage
the last wife of the Prophet (pbuh)
which took place when Aisha was still a child.
Some Muslims say
that the Prophet waited until Aisha will be in an age
appropriate for sexual intercourse, although they were already married; however, they did not have intercourse
Others avoid the topic, no one knows what really happened other that the two of them.
This is the incident where they base their arguments
those who oppose Islam, to say that the rape of children or the marriage of children is permitted.
But also Muslims.
There are many Muslims
especially in countries such as Afghanistan and Pakistan
which, until today,
marry off their daughters in their childhood
based on this incident. So...
I will not accuse those who oppose Islam
and it is a topic that problematised me very much, for many years.
Let's go now to the essence.
Personally, as Sofia (since the question was directed to me)
I oppose any type of physical (sexual) contact
withing a marriage, outside a marriage, beside a marriage...
of a person
that is younger than eighteen years old. (that is the age in which a child enters adulthood in Greece).
And you will say, "here in England adulthood is recognised by the age of sixteen",
well, I do not care about the legal age of adulthood
my personal opinion is that people younger than eighteen years old should not "do" something.
It should not be happening.
Equally, I oppose marriage at any age
or more specifically sexual intercourse, because this question is essentially about sexual intercourse,
if both parts do not wish it.
At the age of forty years old, if one does not wish it, should not do it. This is my personal opinion.
And let's go now to Sharia (regarding marital rape).
For those of you that do not know, this question
exists because within the Hadith
is mentioned that when the husband
sexually desires his wife, she should comply
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3257 Narrated by Talq ibn Ali
 
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven!"
And we all know, when you are baking you should be focused on your work.
No! The Hadith says that a husband has sexual rights on his wife, and when he desires her
she should comply, even on this occasion.
This narration of Hadith is being used
by non-Muslims and some Muslim men
and is equated to rape.
Let's start by the basics.
Also in Hadith,
the Prophet (pbuh)
has
given as a suggestion, or law, this:
A man, in aim to have sexual intercourse with his wife,
the Prophet has said
“One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” (Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55)
So we see that the Prophet, and I will make a video, I have already mentioned
about sex in Islam.
So, sex in Islam, between spouses
must take place in a nice manner, with sweetness.
Regarding marriage, many parts of the sources, emphasise
on how men should take care of their wives,
your wives are your clothes, your wives protect you etc.
The idea of marriage in Islam
is based on the idea of two people who love each other
and remain together for as long as they love each other.
Contrary to Christianity where a divorce is not permitted,
and you can see that .......
People in Greece do not live in accordance with the religion.
The lifestyle of the Greeks does not follow Christianity.
That is why a Greek priest cannot divorce.
Because in Christianity,
divorce is not permitted.
On the contrary, in Islam, divorce is permitted.
And although there is a great emphasis on the ease with which a man can divorce his wife
in reality
again from the Prophet's tradition
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner if I remain with him." On that Allah's Apostle said to her, "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you as Mahr?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet ordered to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once."
Now tell me, if this would be possible in Christianity.
How possible would it be for a woman to leave a marriage, simply because she does not want her husband anymore.
Even more, tell me how the secular legal system in Greece...
Can you issue a non-consensual divorce, because in this case, the husband did not want to divorce his wife.
Can you have a non-consensual divorce in Greece
solely based on the fact that you do now wish to be with this person anymore?
You cannot! There is no such freedom.
This freedom exists in Islam.
So, the basis of Islam as a spiritual movement
as religion, in the sources
gives to a woman the right to divorce her husband.
Therefore, we do not even go in the process of discussing marital rape,
when a woman has the right to divorce her husband when she does not desire him anymore.
When a husband does not interest a woman sexually, she divorces him.
If a wife does desire her husband, and I am talking based on experience,
it is a pleasure to have him inviting you. It is unquestionable that you want this.
So, the basis,
the rules given by God and the Prophet (pbuh)
offer to women such tools that will not
need to tolerate
a marital rape.
Now, when comes to Sharia, as I already said in the previous video,
Sharia is not perfect, Sharia must change.
Sharia allows "windows"
it does not allow!! Sharia does not allow the rape.
Nevertheless
because, as I have already said (in the two previous videos), all the lawmakers
were men, and of course
the social influence
played an important role in legislation
leaves "windows" so that marital rape could possibly happen.
And it is those "windows" that need to close.
That is why Sharia needs reformation.
but
it is irrational
to cancel
the entire religion
to cancel the spiritual part
because there are "windows" in the legal part.
And tell me, which legislation does not have "windows"?
And because
until now I have kept an academic approach and style in my videos
and I try to talk calmly and peacefully
let us remember that I am also a Cretan, and this does not change no matter your religion.
Now I address this specific person, which I do not know
and I hope I will never know
but also everyone else who wishes to troll
listen
my time is precious
and also
before you come and ask me personally
why in the religion I chose, and pay attention here,
I, brother, chose my religion. I sat (shocked reaction!!)
I sat and studied.
I have spent many years studying (Islam).
I chose what I am. How about you? Did you choose it or it was given to you?
Did you bother yourself to learn, to think? Have you even read the bible?
Finding YouTube videos
and accessing Wikipedia is easy!
but
it is not the right source.
So, before you come to put me in the corner
to attempt to put me in the corner, because you cannot put me in the corner! But,
before you attempt to put me in the corner
and make me feel bad about my faith/religion
or to put me in the process to have to defend
something
take a look at your own hump! Hm?.
And I am talking as Greek.
Because you can go to an Arab and say "We, in Greece, do not have such issues".
Brother, I lived in Greece until the age of 32.
I got married in Greece, I got divorced in Greece...
and all my female surroundings, friends, family
are Greek and as you know, we women, talk about such matters.
So, tell me, in Greece
all the wives
that have intercourse with their husbands
desire their husbands?
I will tell you that no! They do not want their husbands.
The majority, after the first six-seven years,
they do not desire their husbands.
Fortunately, not all! The majority, however, do not desire them.
And there are women that spread their legs until the husband will finish, for five minutes
to avoid confrontation and fights.
This is classical advice you receive (from fellow women) when you first get married.
And we have cases where yes, the wife explicitly
says she does not wish it anymore and the man simply ignores her and is forcing her to do "it".
So tell me, in Christianity,
what is the prescribed punishment for the man
that has sexual intercourse with his wife, against her will?
This is the definition of rape. When "it" happens against one's will.
Is there (punishment) in Christianity?
oh! There is not any, huh? What a pity!!
Let's leave Christianity because Greek Christians today do not live in conformity with Christianity.
In the Greek secular legislation.
What does the Greek constitution say regarding marital rape?
Does it say something?
It does not say anything! So, if
the society which you put against me
or the religion that you put against me
Your religion, your society,
has not managed this very sensitive topic, which needs to be managed in every religion and every society.
But if your own religion and your own society has not managed it yet,
do not demand from me
to defend or to
make me feel uncomfortable, because that is the actual aim of trolls,
to make me, or you that you are in a similar position, to feel uncomfortable
for something that has not been managed in my religion, yet.
Of course, as I mentioned in the previous video,
in the second video regarding Sharia, thankfully,
the voices of women within Islam
are becoming stronger, day by day.
Women ask, they write books,
create movements, they ask
the voice of women to be heard in Sharia
and at some point all the wrongdoings that yes they exist and yes they are wrongdoings
in our topic (marital rape) is not legal, but there is the "window"
that allows something like that to happen, and the "window" exists
also in Christianity and in
secular, non-religious laws,
in Greece, for example! huh?
In Islam, this has started,
Women have started raising their voices and demanding things to change.
Therefore, things will change, soon! If not in my lifetime, a few years later, but will change.
But, to conclude the video as it took longer than it should,
You, the Muslims, do not bother yourselves,
Learn to
chose your battles.
Do not feel uncomfortable to admit that yes, some wrongdoings exist!
But is important to know WHY they exist and where exactly the problem lays.
Generalisations
such as "rape is permitted in Islam", this is a lie.
It is not legal, it is not permissible.
God did not say "men, rape your wives". God said the opposite
something that does not exist in Christianity, but as I said before this is something we will discuss in
the video I will prepare regarding sex in Islam.
(Rape) is a wrongdoing
When comes to the position of the woman in Islam there are many wrongdoings.
And you might ask me "how did you join Islam as a woman, particularly a strong woman".
(I joined) because
I know exactly where the problem exists. It is not in theology, not in God.
God did not say that us, women,
should be treated with less respect than men. So,
the spiritual part (of Islam) covers my needs.
I know that God does not see me as an inferior being.
Those who legislated are humans
and shaped their legislation according to their own circumstances.
And they were all men, so they applied patriarchal standards.
And as a Muslim woman, Inshallah (God willing)
one day I will add my own contribution into changing this situation
so that, three generations down the line
two generations of women down the line, to be able
when someone will ask them "why marital rape is legal in Islam?"
to say clearly "it is not. It is fully illegal".
Because things changed.
That is why I decided to join Islam. That is all for now
I am a bit enranged, I am sure you realised it so far,
because, as we said, above anything else (I am ) Cretan.
Take care of yourselves,
keep the toxic people outside of your circle,
you that posed the question in YouTube I can imagine you watched my video.
Do not contact me!
I have more important things to do.
I answered your question.
As for the rest of you, I hope
to see you again in one of the following videos.
