G'day I'm Martyn Iles and this is The
Truth of It and on today's program I am
going to be talking about
coronavirus vaccines - whether or not it's
a good idea to make it compulsory -
yes, I'm actually going there. Secondly,
I'm going to move into some comments
made by Aussie rocker Nick Cave about
cancel culture, mercy and bad religion,
which I think are very insightful.
Thirdly, I'll be talking about parenting
tips - but not from me -
from my actual parents. They even wrote
the segment. So look forward to that.
And I'll be closing out with some
analysis of Mark Latham's parental
rights bill in the New South Wales
parliament at the moment
and what a magnificent step forward it
is to finally have someone speaking
about that issue and getting some
legislation
on the agenda. Some of you will have been
expecting me to deal with the
resurrection this week particularly from
an apologetic standpoint.
I started to work on the segment and I
realised it's actually a bigger segment.
I'm going to do
a whole segment just on apologetics - the
putting to proof the Christian faith and
some of the pillars of apologetics in
the Christian faith -
look forward to that, it actually needs a
little more work and it's become a
little bigger so I will be doing that
next week, but, on with the show.
But firstly, today I want to talk about
something that I didn't mention in the
introduction because it's going to be
brief but it is actually a call to
prayer for those of you all around the
nation
about something which is really serious.
In fact, it may be the most serious thing
that I've observed
in this job and really in my lifetime
from a legislative
standpoint. Here in the Australian
Capital Territory where I am
right now - and some of you might think
well, that's not particularly relevant,
who cares about the ACT - it definitely is
relevant because they're trying to set a
precedent here that they can take around
the nation.
There is a national move as I have said
in previous episodes for something
called LGBT conversion therapy laws -
please ignore the name of them - it's
really got nothing to do with what they
actually say and contain,
besides which, that sort of thing isn't
happening in Australia at the moment
anyway, there's more going on in this
picture.
But really here in the ACT they're
introducing a bill of that nature which
is utterly diabolical.
They did the consultation largely in
secret, they brought the bill in,
we've had some legal analysis of that
bill, it has thrown up all sorts of
horrific things.
Three examples are these, firstly, we
found out that a school
that is set up with a religious ethos
and teaches that there are only two
genders,
is at risk of being investigated by the
ACT Human Rights Commission for
conducting conversion therapy practices.
So all faith-based schools and
institutions
on that basis and others, are in serious
trouble.
Secondly, parents. Parents who counsel
their five-year-old boy that he's a boy,
despite him saying that he is a girl or
that he wants to be a girl,
could be subject to criminal proceedings,
at the age of five.
So if a parent does anything less than
affirm what a child says about their
gender identity as young as five,
they could be subjected to criminal
proceedings. Thirdly, a church minister,
teaching a biblically orthodox view of
sexuality could be exposed to a
conversion practice
complaint and similar fate, to them.
There's a wide range of other
consequences - they're for parents, for
families, for health practitioners, for
people of faith -
I don't have the time to go through them
all but you get the picture. This is
really very serious.
This is frankly, just, it's
persecution actually,
of people of faith - what they believe,
their families and their churches and
all sorts.
This will set a precedent for other
States.
Victoria's yet to have their bill put in,
South Australia, WA, places like that, so
it really does matter. Now we put the
call out
and the number of people who have
contacted their MLA's - their local
representatives here in Canberra -
has been astounding. They have heard from
hundreds and hundreds and hundreds,
perhaps thousands of you
and it has made up a massive, massive
impact. So
thank you for those who have done that
so far. Those who haven't heard from us
yet,
you know, stand by your phones because
this week you will get an opportunity to
do the same.
If you don't, just ring them yourself, to
make your voice heard. It's made an
impact. We have the government now
reaching out to faith groups trying to
reassure them.
Now they're not, they're not changing
anything really of any substance and so
it's not working.
But you see the government suddenly
starting to be concerned
and sadly I have to say - and they won't
like me saying this - but the opposition
have not been brave enough to stand
up and oppose this bill.
They're not the origin of it but they
haven't been brave enough to oppose it
and that to me is astonishing because
we did some polling - or others did some
polling - and 72%
of Canberrans, even in progressive
Canberra, oppose the bill.
So it's a no-brainer to vote against it,
frankly.
And we haven't been able to get them to
have that moral courage just yet.
So what I really appeal to you all to do
is if you don't live in Canberra,
if you live around the nation and you
live around the world, please pray about
this
because it really matters and perhaps it
can be helped and won, even
with prayer and secondly, if you are in
Canberra, make that contact
or if you hear from us to get the
opportunity through the week, our
volunteers are making these calls,
please participate, because this really
does
matter. We are making progress.
And I'm sorry to start on such a dour
note but it really,
really is an important one for us. Anyway,
having said that, I'm going to move on to
topic number
one. Vaccines, coronavirus vaccines -
should they be compulsory? Should they
not be compulsory? I'm actually going to
go here -
because it's topical and I don't
particularly like talking about this but
people will expect me to talk about it
and may even want me to talk about it
and hear my thoughts,
given what happened this last week. So, we
know that Oxford University are one of
about 160 - 170 odd people around the
world trying to develop a COVID 19
vaccine.
The government's entered into an
agreement to get 25 million doses if
those trials prove
effective in people and the Prime
Minister told 3AW radio in Melbourne
that it would be mandatory. People
freaked out as a result of that and the
medical establishment said it would
probably be lower uptake because
people would become suspicious
if it was mandatory and the Prime
Minister has backed away, the
government's backed away and so on.
I don't know whether it was just a slip
of the tongue or whatever, I don't know
all the motives in there and I'm not
going to cast any aspersions. But I just
want to say it's good. I'm happy about
that, that he's backed away.
Because the question arises, should the
vaccine be mandatory?
And I think this can be answered
regardless of whether you are anti-vax,
pro-vax or something in between. I am not
anti-vax and I say absolutely that this
should not
be mandatory. With matters like this we
must always
turn the issue into a question of
principle to find out whether it's a
good idea.
The issue at hand is simple as saying
well, can we stop coronavirus through
vaccinating people and
you know, should we get everybody to take
the vaccine because it's important. It's
something like that.
But the principle at work, the broader
principle,
the precedent this creates for actions
in the future,
is really something broader. It goes like
this; it is, should governments forcibly
inject people with medicine against
their will?
Is that a good idea? Is it a good idea to
set that
precedent? To create that possibility?
And as a question of principle, the
answer has to be, no.
And it must be no because coercion like
that sets a bad example.
That's a principle of coercion, an
example that could be abused
tyrannically in the wrong circumstances
in a very serious and severe way. Now
many people scoff at that.
Many people can't see the logic in that.
Many people are very happy to heap
up more and more power for their
governments and give them these
precedents in times that are good - like
these times that we're in now -
you know for times of freedom like
the ones we live in at the moment,
to some degree, but you know those people
who
don't have concern over this, they are
ignorant of human nature
or they haven't thought carefully about
human nature. They haven't thought
carefully about, they're ignorant about the
nature of power itself
and they're ignorant of history. The only
reason it seems far-fetched in Australia
today
is because we've lived in unusual times
for quite a while now.
Unusual times brought about by something
of a historical anomaly which is a
society of people who believe in broad
personal freedoms and limited government
power
and they have diligently and zealously
fought for those values
for centuries. I assure you,
if we give away that diligence and that
zeal,
it will not be long before those old
changeless forces I mentioned,
the true nature of power that it
corrupts.
Human nature itself, it is corrupt
and takes advantage of power for wrong
ends.
And historical norms, the fact that
societies mostly have been more
tyrannical than free,
those things, it won't be long before we
just revert back to the inertia of those
things and the drag of those things. You
need to be fighting against those things
to keep the principle of freedom alive.
That's a historical anomaly, it's unusual,
it takes people power.
And you know everybody - doesn't matter
whether you're hard left, it doesn't
matter whether you're hard right, it
doesn't matter whether you're in between -
everybody believes that there are evil
people
who strive for power and in fact that
might even be a feature of many evil
people, that they do strive for power and
sometimes in history - at different eras,
in free societies and democratic
societies, into whatever the society is,
all kinds of societies, all parts of the
world -
sometimes they get that power. And the
important thing, therefore, is this,
the scope of power - when they do get it -
needs to be such that when someone does
get it, the damage they can cause is
minimised and that damage, you know,
the scope of that power can be
limited by rules but it can also be
limited by expectations, it can be
limited by what people are prepared to
put up with -
because of course the expansion of power
happens slowly -
and sometimes people need to act sooner
than they do,
to reject an expansion of power.
Forced medical treatment and injections
really is not a good place to be when
evil people are in power,
as continues to happen and has happened
throughout history.
And for these reasons, the government
should pursue
all alternatives first. We haven't tried
voluntary,
indeed voluntary vaccination, I would
imagine, would be taken up by the vast
majority of people, in the present
circumstances.
Is it even necessary to do mandatory? Why
go there?
Other strategies to manage the virus
need to be tried first.
See how we go with voluntary and also
see how the virus goes.
One of the questions I can't get
answered, by the way, is the fact that
even in somewhere like Sweden, which is
effectively no lockdown, they had some
measures but not many, you know, and they had one of the
worst death rates per million population,
in the world,
still, 99.95% of people survived,
and you know, you know, it's not over yet
I know, but gosh,
they're through the wave and I sit there
and I go, well hang on,
is that even a pandemic? This is the
crazy thing - no one's answering these
questions -
no one's, you know, you're mostly getting
shouted out and told that you hate
people and all the rest of it
and no one's answering the questions. Is
there really a broader picture
here that we can look at which makes the
idea of mandatory vaccination seem just
like
full-on overkill. But you know,
above all, broad personal liberties and
limited government power is important
for the long-term security and peace
of any society, it really is. Now, two
footnotes to make to
what I just said. The first one is, the
government's actually made the situation
harder for themselves
because they've got behind a vaccine
from the Oxford University
crew, that has a genuine ethical problem
attached to it.
As I said, I am not anti-vax. Indeed I am -
and I'm sorry for those who get upset by
this - I'm quite pro-vax, in most cases, in
the sense that I think vaccines
are a marvel of medical technology and
that vaccines, you know, you think of
things like polio, you think of things
like diphtheria, you think of things that
have,
you know, diseases that have ravaged
children and people
prior to the invention of vaccines
which have helped to eradicate those
diseases has been an extraordinary thing.
And so vaccines pose a great good in
many circumstances.
But, but, there are some vaccines - and the
number of them is mercifully small in
Australia - which
are genuinely different. I can certainly
see how they attract
legitimate ethical questions. In fact, they actually do.
Let's just face it, they do attract
ethical questions
because the research and development
process which help create them
makes use of cells which are
historically associated with abortion.
They do not contain aborted fetal cells -
there's a lot of misunderstanding on
that and people who just aren't reading
sources correctly or whatever -
but the research and development process
associated with them
or the research and development
process
that created them, is associated with
cells which originally some decades ago
originated from aborted fetuses. Now,
that's the most succinct way that I can
put it without an entire segment but you
see how that this class of vaccines is
an ethical flag because
say in 1962 an aborted fetus, some
some tissue from that fetus was used to
to develop a cell and then that
cell's been replicated for many decades,
many millions of times and here we are
ages later
and you're buying these cells off the
shelf but way back they came from an
aborted fetus. That's the problem. It
doesn't go into the vaccine but the
vaccine is developed with the help of it
and that is an ethical problem. And the
government's chosen
Oxford University vaccine is one of
those offending vaccines. Like I said in
Australia
for many, there is an ethical alternative
because these cell lines don't just come
from fetuses, they come from vegetables,
they come from tissues of animals and
humans and all sorts
and so you get plenty of different kinds
of vaccines, there's a few where there's
no alternatives,
but sadly, this Oxford University vaccine,
is one.
And so it kind of makes it really
difficult.  Of all the, you know, the bad luck,
this particular vaccine which is most
advanced, they happen to have chosen this
HEK
230 something, 234 or whatever cell line
which, you know, ultimately traces its
origins way back to the 1960s
with an aborted fetus, an electively
aborted fetus. So,
that is a real shame. Now, second footnote,
some people have objected to my
comments
in this vein, because they say that, you know, it's not Christian
analysis.
It's not, you know, it's just politics or
it's just right wing-ism or something
like this. Okay,
let me show you that in fact it is
Christian analysis and I'll deal with
that, you know,
in about 60 seconds. Broad
personal freedoms and limited government
power is the best guarantee that we have
as Christians that we can live
authentically Christian lives without
interference,
okay. In First Timothy 2, the Apostle Paul
calls on us to pray for the governing
authorities.
Why? Well, he says, so that the godly life
might be a life of peace.
I guess that's a kind of religious
freedom, right. So we live godly lives, all
the things God calls us to do
and we do it peacefully - that's the
prayer.
But why does that matter? Is that because
we care about ourselves because we just
want the government to get off our backs
and you know, it's all about
individualism?
No, not at all. It matters because God
desires all people everywhere to come to
a knowledge of the truth. It matters for the
sake of others.
Now all of that is straight from the
scripture - First Timothy 2.
Now a godly life, what is it? Well it's a
life in which we're lights in the world
and we're seen as such
publicly. A godly life is a life in which
we're the salt of the earth. We're
fighting against compromise and evil and
the decay that it creates in society.
A godly life is a life in which we raise
our families in the fear of the Lord. A
godly life is life in which we serve
our churches. A godly life is a life in
which we're good witnesses to Christ in
our lives, it's a life in which we
evangelise. And you know what that means,
if we're free to do that,
if that godliness is free
and unpunished and uninhibited in
society,
the government's not getting in the way
and not passing laws to make it illegal
and to limit and curtail it,
if that's all good, well, what that means
is that people come to a knowledge of
the truth and are saved,
which is God's desire as Paul says in
First Timothy 2. That's why the prayer
is even being made.
Because our lives are godly and they are
left by the governing authorities to be
lives of peace and
other people see, encounter and hear the
truth.
And whenever a government gets too much
power - and we're seeing this today more
and more, I regret to say - one of the
first things to come under pressure is
the godly life.
Whether in our families, our preaching,
our public witness, the words we speak,
the values we hold dear, everything.
From you know, all these new sort of woke
laws, like hate speech laws, which is a
misnomer - they're not about hate speech -
or conversion therapy laws, which is a
misnomer - they're not about conversion
therapy -
one of the effects they have, is to place
pressure,
on these very things. You know, the truth
we speak,
the Christian lives that are being
lived, they attack and undermine
those very things. And so do you know
what? Freedom matters.
Keeping the government in its rightful
place, matters.
It really does. And I believe the freedom
to conscientiously object on pro-life
grounds to
those small number of vaccines that are
ethically dubious or for which there is
no ethical alternative.
Whether you personally ultimately agree
with that ethical objection or not... and
Christians fall on both sides because
when you go into the
research and
development stuff it's all...
there's a lot to work through... and you
know the biotech industry is big and it
doesn't just deal with vaccines, it deals
with all kinds of medical treatments
which we all encounter all the time and
they're all tainted,
sadly, by this kind of thing, but right,
regardless of where you fall on the
issue,
the ability to conscientiously object on
pro-life grounds, matters.
It matters and so, therefore, freedom does
matter.
And that is, I believe, something that
every wise Christian,
when it comes to governing authority
really needs to be concerned about.
So that was, "The Truth of It" about
whether or not a
COVID 19 vaccine should be mandatory.
Okay, next up, I'm going to talk a little
bit about Australian rock star Nick
Cave of all people. Particularly what he
has said
about cancel culture. He's likened it to
bad religion
and he said some really interesting
things about the Christian virtue of
mercy as it relates to cancel culture.
The question is,
is Nick Cave right, Is Nick Cave wrong or
is he a little bit of
both? Well, have a listen to this
extremely interesting take which
went up on his website in reply to a
question from a couple of fans.
He says this, 'mercy is a value that
should be at the heart of any
functioning and tolerant society.
Mercy ultimately acknowledges that we
are all imperfect and in doing so allows
us the oxygen to breathe,
to feel protected within a society
through our mutual fallibility.
Without mercy a society loses its
soul and devours itself,
yet mercy is not a given.' He says, 'It's a
value that we must nurture and aspire to.
Without mercy, society grows inflexible,
fearful, vindictive, and humourless.' And I
would say it grows
self-righteous because when you're
unmerciful it means you're
self-righteous - you have a high view of
yourself, a low view of others -
narcissistic and proud - and you know, when
he says 'society,' it's important to
note something. We often say 'society' to
relieve the pressure and blame others,
but society just means all of us. This is
how we become without mercy.
We become these things when mercy is not
valued. That's how society changes
because it's just a collection of us as
people.
'And as far as i can see,' he says, 'Cancel
culture is mercy's antithesis...'
Isn't that interesting. He says, 'Political
correctness has grown to become the
unhappiest religion in the world.
It's once honourable attempt to reimagine
our society as a more equitable -
in a more equitable way - now embodies all
the worst aspects that religion has to
offer (and none of the beauty). Moral certainty
and self-righteousness shorn
even of the capacity for redemption.'
Again, interesting - no redemption -
'It has become quite literally bad
religion run amok.'
Now, this caught my eye, this commentary,
because he bases his critique of cancel
culture on a virtue that you really
don't hear about very often these days
and it is
mercy. And it is - I don't know what
he thinks bad religion is or whatever, it
doesn't go into detail - but it's
interesting that mercy is a very,
very, very Christian virtue.
It's a virtue which you hear about very
little. For example, in all my life
I have never heard a person described in
ordinary conversation
as a merciful person. I've heard people
described as gracious, as
good, as kind, as loving, as hospitable,
as compassionate, as moral. I've even
heard a man once described as righteous.
I have never once - never - heard a person
say, 'Hey you know Joe over there, the
thing about Joe is that he's a very
merciful person.' It's never happened.
It's a quality that's, is almost
otherworldly.
It's not very normal. It's not really a
part of our lexicon.
So you say, well what is mercy, this
strange virtue that we seem to know so
little about,
which doesn't come up in conversation.
Well, Psalm 103 holds the key.
It's a great Psalm. Let me read it to you,
or part of it. It starts this way,
the Psalmist says, 'Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord,
O my soul, and forget not all His
benefits.'
'What benefits?' you might say, well,
'Who forgives all your iniquities,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from destruction, 
who crowns you with loving-kindness
and tender mercies. The Lord is merciful
and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous
in mercy.
He will not always chide, neither will He
keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us after our sins,
nor rewarded us according to our
iniquities;
for as the heavens are high above the
earth
so great is His mercy towards them that
fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west, so
far has He removed
our transgressions from us.
Like a father has compassion on his
children, so the Lord has compassion on
them that fear Him,
for He knows our frame. 
He remembers that we are dust.
As for a man his days are as grass;
as a flower of the field so he flourishes,
for the wind passes over it
and it is gone
and its place acknowledges it no more.
But the mercy of the Lord
is from everlasting to everlasting upon
them that fear Him
and His righteousness unto children's
children'.
How does the Psalmist describe God's
benefits to us?
Mercy, forgiveness, redemption.
Mercy is a foreign concept in many ways
because it is a concept that is of God.
It's a virtue that is God's. It's not
of men and women. He is it's source,
He is the one who operates that way.
The definition of mercy is actually in
that Psalm, in a nutshell: 'He has not dealt
with us after our sins, nor rewarded us
according to our iniquities, for as the
heaven is high by the earth, so great is
His mercy
to those who fear Him.' That's the
definition of mercy. It is the quality
in God whereby He does not deal with us
in response to what we deserve.
His actions toward us are not primarily
based on what we've
earned, who we are, what we've done, 
or how we have treated Him.
His actions are based primarily not on
who we are
but they come from the fullness 
of who He is.
There's another Psalm you know where it
says, He says, 'What is man
that you are mindful of him or the son
of man that you visit him?'
It's a question - I think it's Psalm 8, I
should know that -
It's a question and the answer to that
question is, 'no.'
That is to say, it's the wrong
question.The correct question is,
'Who is God that He is mindful 
of us or that He visits us?
Because it comes from the
fullness of who He is
which includes infinite mercy. 
It is not based on what
or who we are.
You know, imagine that - imagine
being a person, not a god, but a person
who does not react to people according
to how they have treated us. 
Who does not answer a
person according to how they deserve to
be answered.
Who does not feel in our heart to relate
to an individual in reply to how we
should - how they should be related to
based on how they behave.
As human beings that is precisely how we
relate to people, that is precisely how
we deal with people.
That paradigm is baked into our very DNA,
it informs our
everyday life and our everyday
relationships. It's just how
we are wired. You know, if God had dealt
with us that way
we would have absolutely no hope at all.
None.
I would already be in hell and so would
you.
He would not be merciful by waiting for
judgment day, because we don't deserve it.
He would never have been merciful by
visiting us as the Psalmist said in the
Lord Jesus Christ.
He would never have been merciful by
offering us the salvation of our souls -
that is the definition of not dealing
with us according to our sins and
iniquities - but differently. 
He wouldn't be patient
with us every single day. 
As we read, instead He redeems our
life from destruction. 
Instead, He is slow to
anger. Instead, He does 
not reward us according
to our sins. Instead He forgives. And
this was the conclusion - He does it
always, He never falters -
from everlasting to everlasting
the Psalmist says. And we 
as people - you know something - and
Nick Cave is right about this -
we will never be truly merciful until we
have some sense
of this: our own need of mercy,
and the mercy we've received. Jesus said,
'Blessed are the merciful,'
but He didn't say that before He had
said, 'Blessed are the poor in spirit.'
Those who have seen 
themselves and found themselves to
be bankrupt and found themselves relying
on God's mercy. Poor in spirit; bankrupt
in themselves; relying on 
God's mercy; nothing in their
hand they bring but they simply 
cling to Christ.
It is that person who can 
engage with this world
with mercy, as the mercy of God is first
applied to them,
and then applied through them.
You know, Nick Cave was right - he said,
'Mercy ultimately acknowledges that we're
all imperfect.'
That's actually crucial as I just was
saying,
as it is only people who can
see that about themselves who are truly
equipped to show mercy
to others. Now, is he right to call out
cancel culture - go as far 
as to say that it is
mercy's antithesis and 
therefore incapable of redemption
and all these other good things?
Do you know, I believe that he is.
I really do. Cancel culture is basically -
and I've dealt with cancel culture in a
previous segment - search the 
YouTube channel and you'll
find the segment - but it's 
basically an overreaction.
Someone has said something, right, and
what they've said is not politically
correct so the cancel culture mob, they
take offence or they get upset about it
for some other reason 
and what do they do?
Right, they do not target
the speech, they do not target the idea,
they do not target what was said,
they don't fight speech with speech, they
don't - they don't fight lies with truth,
or offence with rebuke, or error with
fact. That's not what they do.
They don't go after the speech at all,
they go after the person.
They get them sacked, they strip their
professional accreditations, they expel
them from institutions, they
go on a witch hunt against the person
and they ruin them and they keep on
ruining them until the job is well and
truly finished.
Think of, you know, Peter Ridd, think of
Drew Pavlou, think of Israel Folau for
three recent Australian examples, but have
you noticed how they still haven't quite
been able to leave Israel Folau alone?
One year on? Not his ideas, his person,
his person. They hate the fact that 
he actually got a job,
somewhere in the world. 
It's an overreaction
to deal with people without mercy.
There is many a self-righteous and
unforgiving political movement 
afoot today.
In fact, they are everywhere. It spoke
volumes to me, for example, when Greta
Thunberg gave her famous speech and the
phrase that people picked up on I
noticed was, 'How dare you!'
You know, that was not the phrase that
really jumped out and hit me.
The one that hit me was this: 'We will
never forgive you.' 
But it seemed that few
people cared about how serious
that statement is,
or the culture shift that it represents.
No redemption, no mercy,
and that is the horror of a
post-Christian age.
The hatred of unforgiveness.
It's a cancer
that will grow and is capable of
literally anything -
cancel culture could just be the
beginning, if this continues.
And I guess in such times, the other
worldliness of mercy
becomes more and more apparent. We find
it in God, we don't find it in this world.
But those of us who know this mercy can
and must make it known to others through
the pattern of our lives,
and that is a challenge to us all.
To quote Jesus, 'Be merciful
as your Heavenly Father is merciful.' That
is the source.
And actually you know, it's the least we
can do. We who, as 
the Psalmist said, have
received of all His 
benefits, chief of which there in
that Psalm is His mercy. 
That was the truth about
cancel culture and mercy...
And really, you know
what it means? Cancel culture 
and Christ have very
little in common.
Okay next up, something a little bit
different -
this is parenting tips - and you say,
Martyn what the heck would you have to
say about parenting tips?
Well, these are not parenting tips from
me. These are parenting tips from my
parents
and I'm not kidding. It's been a slightly
weird thing to me, but in recent times
I've had a number of people make a
request to me - in different forms -
for insight from my Mum and Dad about
being
parents. I had dinner with Dad and Mum
recently in Queensland
and I mentioned this fact and we sort of
had a chuckle and kept talking but the
conversation came back to the issue and
I read them out a couple of these
requests from different sources
and it kind of got to them and they
decided well -
maybe we should help - and then I said
well maybe you could write down your top
10 parenting tips and
I'll do a truth of it segment on that,
and so they did. It wasn't actually 10 - by
the time you amalgamated Mum's and Dad's
and got the overlaps and all that - it
ended up being 15.
But you know, I'm going to faithfully
deliver those points
today in response to popular request.
Now, there's a few preliminary notes to
make. Firstly, my
Dad and Mum are obviously happily
married Christians and their tips are
very much coming from that position.
There are those who are in more complex
situations - single parents and you know
the only Christian in the family and
those sorts of things - most of what these
tips say, most of it, is still completely
relevant
and there is a particular tip
for you guys at the end which my parents
felt to add. Secondly, these tips really
are about having
a young family or people who are
prospective parents or people who are
looking,
you know, at relationships - it's that
sort of phase.
In terms of tips for teens, you know, being
parents of teenagers,
these principles are not irrelevant at
all but, you know, that might be a
segment down the track if this
is well received. And finally, you might
ask - and plenty of you watching this
would be like who's this Martyn bloke, we
don't care about this Martyn bloke or
his parents.
I appreciate that completely - and
the question then becomes, well what are their
qualifications to give these tips?
Well, they had six kids in six years
and one passed away as an infant, the
remaining five
- I'm one, I'm the youngest - all very,
very strong Christians
and established and successful
in life, at least I think that must be
true, at least it seems to be what people have seen
and mentioned because - they've also got
10 grandchildren
so far - but a big part of their life has
been talking about this very issue.
Many people ask them for their advice,
many people seek their counsel
on this very thing and so there must be
something about their lives
and the way that they have run their
families which has attracted that kind
of inquiry
and made them such a significant part of
people's lives in,
you know, issues of marriage and family
and raising children and all the rest of
it. But having said all that, there's my
little preliminary spiel. Here are my 15
tips -
top 15 - from Dr and Mrs Iles, my Dad
and my Mum - and they're great tips by the
way and that's why I'm presenting them. I
got them on the paper and I was like, oh,
yes,
this is good. So first, here's tip number
one:
Judges Chapter 13 verse 8, the prayer of
Samson's parents
before he was born. They prayed; 'Oh Lord
please
teach us what we are to do with the
child who will be born.'
This is the prayer that my parents
prayed before each of
us kids was born, to ask God how to rear
each child and they both wanted me to
emphasise the fact that it says
'us'. They went on to say, your marriage
relationship
needs to be right because you must be
one, in the task of parenting.
It is a joint effort and agreement is
essential on intention,
purpose, goal and important aspects of
raising
children. But although the goal is joint,
the roles of father and mother are
different. Fathers do things mothers
cannot do
and mothers do things fathers cannot do.
Children need both.
That's the first tip.
'We', joint, and ask God to show you how to
raise
the child. Second, the father must be the
source
of love in the family - my Dad wrote this -
the father must be the source of love in
the family
as he loves his children's mother. The
mother
is the supply of love in the family, she
disseminates it to the family circle
and wins the hearts of the children.
It's beautifully put. Third - this is also
from dad - he says, fathers
take responsibility for your family
because scripturally, the buck
stops with you. From Ephesians,
'Fathers bring your children up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.'
It is the father who receives this
responsibility, which includes enabling
the mother to do what he cannot do.
The backbone of the family is Dad. Too
many fathers simply won't be what they
ought to be.
Sometimes mothers won't let them, but
more often,
it is the former. Provide strength,
authority,
stability and direction in your family.
Fourth - this is from both, they're
all from both, it's been compared and
contrasted and amalgamated and some of
these are blended points -
fourth, understand that God gave you your
children.
He entrusted them to you to guard them
and guide them and bring them up for Him.
Scripture says, 'Children are a heritage
from the Lord.'
It's important not to think so much that
they are your creation,
but that they are His creation and
not that they
belong to you,
but that they belong to Him. When our
children asked, 'Where did I come from?'
We answered, 'from the heart of God.' On the
day of judgment
God is far more likely to ask you what
you have done with your child,
than to find out how successful,
important or powerful you were.
Fifth, establish the authority of
Scripture
in the whole of family life. Always ask,
'What does God say?' and make that the
clear standard.
Decision making is never ultimately
about peers, psychology,
expectations of others, or the will of a
child.
It is always ultimately, 'God said'. To
establish what is right
and the importance of always doing what
is right, is vital.
Which makes me reflect actually - this was
common - you know, we'd ask questions
a lot as kids and dad's
answer sometimes was, 'Well where's my
Bible? Grab me my Bible.'
and he'd just open it up and he'd say, 'Let's
see, what does it say?' And he turned to a
bit and he'd read it,
with us. He'd say, 'Right, what does this
say?' And then he'd ask us to explain it
to him...
and then that would be the answer to the
question.
I remember one particular moment - of
course as a kid you remember this
because it relates to obedience to
parents and those sorts of things
stick into your mind - but
I remember dad sitting around the dinner
table and he read the verse - we
were going through Ephesians -
and he read the verse,
'Children obey your parents in the
Lord, for this, is right.'
And he just asked the question, 
he said, why? Why is it important
to obey your parents?
And we sort of looked at each other and
someone said, 'cos you'll get us in
trouble.'
And he said, 'Well, that might be true, but
no, tell me again.' And he read it out
again. He said he said, 'Why should
you obey your parents?'
We had a few cracks at this and then
eventually, we got it, 'because this is
right.'
And then the question came, 'Well, why is
it right? Because God said, 'Honour your
father and your mother, this is the first
commandment with a promise.'
And the authority of Scripture was
always established as,
you know, the moral compass and the fact
that if you found out what the moral
compass said, you just did it.
You just did it because it was the right
thing, it was a good thing to do and it
would work out.
That was a big part of life.
Anyway, sixth,
they say, pray together - and together is
underlined - every day for guidance and
patience, wisdom and understanding in
your parenting.
Listen to each other's prayers - that's
important.
Only one has the answer to all your
problems and that is God.
Seventh, when it comes to character - this
is a bit intimidating -
when it comes to character you cannot
expect your child to become what you are
not
or behave according to what you lack.
They read you long before they listen to
you,
they remember what you were long after
what you have said
is forgotten. You know, that's important. I
actually do reflect on that. My
parents were role models first and
foremost -
they were role models - and I got to say
I never as a kid... so unusual to see
anything from Mum or Dad that was, you
know,
not morally impeccable. I've never to
this day,
ever, seen my parents have a fight - not
once. Never exchange a cross word - not once.
Never... you know I could go on... and that
just sounds crazy I know and people go,
'Really? What rubbish!'
No, it's true. They were examples first
and foremost and took that
so seriously. And it's true you, remember
who your parents
are, long after what they've said is
forgotten...
so powerful. Anyway, I hope I'm not
embarrassing anyone in the family by
saying some of these things!
Eighth - am I up to eighth? Yes, eighth -
never make idle threats.
Keep your word absolutely. Be careful
what you say
and always, always follow through. It's
interesting,
you know, the importance of somebody's
word in Scripture is so
vital. I think in James chapter five,
after James has given all these
principles of wisdom for life...
and then he says, 'But above all', he says -
and you think, "oh crikey", after all this
what could possibly be so important? -
and he says, 'do not, do not make an oath'
you know, and
and you think, really? And the
whole point of that bit is to say, let
your word be your word, your yes be yes
and your no be no.
And I think Mum and Dad are probably
pulling on that principle of Scripture -
that your word really matters and if you
make a threat,
follow through. If there's a punishment
promised, make it happen.
And I know, that as kids, if there was
something like that done,
we knew for sure that there was no way
out. You know, the word of Mum and Dad
mattered, it meant something.
But, of course, our whole salvation
rests on the Word of God
and so, you know, our word also matters in
all
facets, including parenting. Moving on -
where were we up to - ninth, never argue
with your child.
There you go. I do see a lot of that
actually, parents just having these
sort of verbal spats with their kids and
getting answered back and it's just
a disaster. Tenth, pray every day
for your...
for and with, your child. Remember
read the Bible with them, read stories
with them. I do remember -
mum actually wrote that first - and I
cannot remember a time in my life... I can
go back to my earliest memories of going
to bed at night
and I cannot remember a time when mum
didn't... well I didn't pray with mum...
she always did that every evening.
Eleventh, be a whole family.
It shouldn't be a matter of dad living
his life, kids having their life,
mum having her life. Primarily your life
is your family life.
Twelfth, all forms of evil and wrong
doing must not be overlooked.
Whether swearing, stealing, lying, temper,
willful damage,
etc... discipline must invariably follow.
The Bible speaks of a rod of discipline.
Not to necessarily speak of beating
but to make it clear that correction is
an essential part of being a parent.
That said, distinguish between wrongdoing
with motive and genuine mistakes.
Wrongdoing demands correction,
mistakes demand patience, especially when
the child is young,
lest you demoralise them. Thirteenth,
Mum says, 'Absolutely avoid peer
pressure
from or with other mums. Stick with your
own God-given convictions
and be unashamed to do so.'
I don't know - she didn't write this down -
but she made the point that she thinks
that's gotten worse with social media,
mums groups and things like that with
just pressure, peer pressure
inter mum pressure and she says
that that's just not a good idea to
succumb to pressure.
And she gave several examples of moments
when she just had to stand up for what
she believed in
and not succumb to that pressure. Fourteenth,
communication with your child is
important.
That's it, a nice short one. And finally -
Mum wrote this one - she said, 'Do not put
your baby into daycare if there is any
possible way not to.
No one will ever love your child like
you do and it has been given to you to
rear and to love as only a mother can.
Childhood is short, don't miss out on it
and you will spend the rest of your life
reaping the rewards
and the child God gave you, you will give
back to Him.
It's extraordinary. So there's 15 tips
from Dr and Mrs Iles - or Martyn's
parents.
Now I said that there was something
additional for those in challenging
situations of family breakdown or
non-Christian spouses
or the myriad of things which these days
disrupt family and Dad and Mum have
spent a good part of their lives
supporting people
in those sorts of circumstances. All my
life I've been aware of that.
And first, they note that the principles
mentioned are largely the same, you know,
establishing authority of Scripture,
praying for and with your child, living
by example,
all that kind of stuff, they say
that's the same.
But there is no way around the fact that
it's harder -
parenting is hard, full stop - and
parenting alone
is harder and there's a fact of life and
there's no point pretending that it's
otherwise.
But they wanted to mention a couple of
Scriptures - and I've got them written
down here -
and the first one is, 'And my God will
supply every need of yours according to
His riches in glory in Christ.'
And you say, well even the need of a
parent with an absent partner?
Even the need of a parent without a
Christian partner? Even the need of a
childless woman, who wishes it weren't
so? All sorts, you know, you could... all
these various things...
that are difficult in families.
Well,
my parents referenced Isaiah 54, 'For
your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is His name. The Holy
one of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth He is called.
"Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break
forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labour! For the
children of the desolate one will be
more than the children of her who is
married," says the Lord.'
Now, that's pretty... there's a
particular future context for the nation
of Israel in all of that but it comes
back to this...
the promise is made in that specific
context, with that specific
metaphor because that is something that
God can, in fact,
do. He can be the husband to the single.
He can bring about more children for the
barren in other ways (not biological) but
in other ways.
He can do all sorts of things. He can
mend those
broken things, as part of this fallen
world, because He is God
and that is the extent of His great
power and that's why that metaphor makes
sense. That's why that promise of
future makes sense. So yes, the needs of
people with all sorts of personal
circumstances, who fear the Lord,
can be met by a God who supplies all our
needs. There you go, a segment built
basically around (with some
editorialising by me, which I hope is
okay), straight from my Dad and my Mum and
maybe I can convince them to do some
tips for parents of teenagers
down the track for some time - if there's
feedback to that effect and if you guys
like it. Now
that is - The Truth of It - about, I think,
it's the truth about parenting - is that
too much to claim?
No, it's not. The Truth of It: about being
a good parent.
Now, I was going to deal with Mark
Latham's Parental Rights Bill but I am
right out of time because I have a clock
down there which is ticking down and I
talked far too much in the last segment
and so I've hit the limit. So I'm going
to delay that one
until the next episode when I will also
be talking about the resurrection
and apologetics. I'm Martyn Iles and that
was,
The Truth of It.
