

Hungry for Love

by

Louise Lyons

COPYRIGHT

Hungry for Love © 2015 Louise Lyons

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales is coincidental.

WARNING

This book contains material that is intended for a mature, adult audience. It contains graphic language, explicit sexual content, and adult situations.

### Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

About the Author

### Chapter One

I LET myself into my apartment and trudged into the living room. Dumping the two plastic bags of food on the sofa, I toed off my shoes and shrugged out of my fleece jacket. It was April and not really cold enough to wear it, but I'd convinced myself the loose-fitting garment disguised the size of my stomach and the embarrassing start of a pair of man-boobs. So I continued to wear it, regardless of the warm weather.

I sat down and peeked warily into one of the bags. I'd been to the supermarket after I'd left Dr. Maddock's surgery and stocked up on some of the things he'd recommended. I'd made an appointment to discuss my recent breathlessness and dizzy spells, and found it to be the most humiliating visit of my life. The doctor had made me stand on the weighing scales in the corner of the room, and announced I'd gained enough weight to be classed as obese. It was the reason for my breathlessness and everything else. He'd recommended a change in eating habits and an exercise plan to help prevent the possibility of early heart problems and diabetes. I'd expected to be given pills, or an inhaler, or something medical. But no, the man had said, not in so many words: "Lose some weight, Fatso."

I picked an apple out of the shopping, intending to snack on it while I recovered from the walk from the bus stop to my apartment. I would cook a proper meal later. I contemplated the fruit for a minute, then dropped it back into the bag with a sigh. It had been a long day at the bakery where I worked—almost nine hours on my feet—and my lunch break had been far too long ago. My meal had consisted of a meat pie and a cream cake. That was the best thing about Belinda's Bakery—the senior staff were allowed to pick two items for their lunches, from the delicious foods on offer. I'd taken full advantage since I'd been made assistant manager a year ago and it showed in my waistline. I couldn't deny it. I enjoyed eating and after I'd broken up with Mark six months ago, my enjoyment had turned to comfort eating and my body had ballooned. I'd always been what my mother called "big-boned", but when things with my first boyfriend had begun to sour, I'd grown bigger, giving him one more thing to complain about.

"Tomorrow," I said aloud. "It's too late to make any changes today anyway." I dug into the other bag which contained some of the leftover stock from the bakery. Anything that hadn't sold at the end of the day was given to the staff or thrown away, and I hated wastage. I started with the two large sausage rolls I'd procured, moved onto the cheese and onion quiche, and finished with four cupcakes. At least I'd saved the mouthwatering treats from being tossed into the dustbin, and hadn't had to bother preparing anything.

Sprawling on the sofa, I watched TV for the rest of the evening; the same thing I did most nights. I'd never been one to socialize much and most of the friends I'd had, had been couples Mark knew. Now he was gone and so were they.

I watched a program called _Freaky Eaters_ , which featured a man who ate nothing but potatoes and beans at every meal. He'd been fussy as a child, his mother had never done anything about it, and it had got to the point where he couldn't put anything else in his mouth without gagging. He was a similar size to me, and he was warned he could be reducing his potential life expectancy by over twenty years. By the end of the program, he'd tried a variety of other foods and found a lot of new options he liked. It made me think more seriously about my own diet.

I usually started the day well with coffee and porridge or some other cereal, and about a gallon of full fat milk. Lunch was always whatever I fancied at the bakery because I'd never been very organized, and planning a week's packed lunches had seemed like a lot of effort when I could choose something at work. Invariably I selected pastries and cakes. Dinners often consisted of leftovers from the shop—more pastries—although I did cook two or three times a week. I liked chili and curry, and made these with jars of sauce and a mountain of rice. Saturday nights were my treat of the week—I'd get a Chinese takeaway or a pizza.

Maybe Dr. Maddock was right; maybe I'd end up like that man on TV, looking at reaching the end of my life in my fifties, or perhaps even earlier if I continued to clog my arteries with fat and sugar.

I heaved myself off the sofa at ten o'clock and went to use the bathroom before bed. When I took a piss and looked down, I noticed my stomach blocked the view of my dick even when I held it out at right angles to my body. It was the one thing that changed my outlook. I'd been alone for six months and the way I was going, I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Who would ever want me, looking the way I did? Even if I got a date, any potential boyfriend would soon be put off if he couldn't find my cock in the rolls of fat. Shuddering, I went to bed and resolved to get out of it the next morning a new man.

THE ALARM on my phone woke me at seven o'clock the next morning and I crawled out of bed to begin my bathroom routine. By the time I'd showered and dressed in my work clothes, half an hour had passed, and I went to make my first coffee of the day. I planned every step before I put anything into my mouth. Coffee with semi-skimmed milk, two wheat biscuits with milk, and an apple. I feared I'd starve to death by the middle of the morning, but I was determined to give it a try.

My day at work almost made me waver—almost. I spent the morning drooling at the sight of the hot sausage rolls in the warming oven at the end of the sandwich counter. Every time the sliding door was opened to take an item out for a customer I could smell them, and I imagined biting through the crumbly pastry into the thick greasy meat inside. When I had my lunch break, I went straight to the warming oven to take one of the sausage rolls, but something made me turn away. I'd started the day well. Surely I could finish one day without cramming more cholesterol into my body.

Moving away from the oven, I picked out a whole meal baguette filled with ham salad, and skipped the mayonnaise. I went into the staff room to eat and I actually enjoyed the sandwich. The ham was smoked and tasty, and the salad fresh and crunchy. It surprised me somewhat that I didn't want to rush back into the shop to grab a cake to finish with, and I went back to work feeling pleased with myself.

When it came to the end of the day, I finished as I'd started. I gave the last bag of donuts to the youngest employee, telling her to give them out to her friends. I left without one crumb of a sausage roll having passed my lips, and I felt proud. If only I could keep it up.

I needed an incentive, as if my own health wasn't a good enough reason. The doctor had told me I should start with some exercise, gentle at first. He'd suggested walking and swimming, or even joining a gym. There was no way I would go swimming. I didn't even own swimming trunks and if I had, I wouldn't have gone out in public wearing them, no matter what I was offered in return. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror naked, and I had no intention of letting anyone else see me in nothing but a Speedo. I could imagine the looks of disgust.

It was raining outside which didn't encourage me to go for a long walk, and that left only one other option—the gym. I didn't like that idea either, but I decided to go and look around. I could always change my mind. I'd seen an advertisement recently after the local branch of the chain, Fitness First, had closed and a new one, unimaginatively called The Gym, moved into the premises. The new company offered a free introductory session. At least I wouldn't have to pay to be humiliated on my first attempt.

After I'd taken the bus home from work, I changed into baggy jogging bottoms, an enormous loose T-shirt, and trainers. I ate a banana to give me some energy, put on my trusty fleece jacket, and set off again. Another bus ride took me down the road where the gym was, and by six thirty I was hovering in the entrance to the building, wondering whether it would be better to turn around and go home.

I could see people in the reception area, swiping cards to go through the barrier by a desk. A hulk of a man in Lycra shorts and a muscle vest looked like a bodybuilder, with not an ounce of fat visible anywhere. Behind him were two girls, pretty and slender, wearing shorts and fitted T-shirts. Next was another young guy, not muscular, but slim and attractive. The gym was full of beauties, and I was the monster they'd probably all look at and whisper about.

I waited for another minute, feeling trapped. In front of me was an evening of embarrassment and behind, the rain hammered down as if it were conspiring against me. It was half an hour before I could get a bus home, and I'd get drenched walking to the bus stop. I spun around as I heard pounding footsteps, and spotted an older man hurtling through the rain toward me. I stepped back, trying to get out of his way, but I was too big and blocked the tiny space between the main entrance and the inner door. The man yanked open the outer door and stopped, still half in the rain.

"Are you going in or coming out?" he gasped.

"Um, in." Reluctantly I pushed open the inner door and stepped through. The decision had been made for me.

The older man hurried past me, pulling a towel out of his rucksack. He rubbed his dripping hair with it as he strode away. I stood there for another minute, feeling out of my depth. Looking around, I tried to avoid making eye-contact with anyone, but the few people still in the area were going about their business and didn't seem to notice me. The only one who did was the girl behind the reception desk. She was attractive, wearing red shorts and a white shirt, with the Gym logo embroidered over her left breast. She looked straight at me and gave me a bright smile.

"Hello there, I'm Grace. Can I help you with anything?"

"Um..." I approached the counter slowly. "I was thinking of having a free trial. I saw the ad."

"Of course." She plucked a sheet of paper from beneath the counter and slid it toward me along with a pen. "Will you fill this out, please? I'll give you a one-day pass that you can use for twenty-four hours. If you want to join, membership is fifteen ninety-nine per month with full access to all the facilities. Once you're done with the form, I'll get one of our trainers to show you around all the equipment and you can decide what you want to do. I hope you'll enjoy your visit."

"Thanks." I bent over the form to fill in the details, cringing when I had to write down my weight. I was reluctant to give the form back when I was done, certain Grace would be shocked by what I'd written, but she merely read the information and smiled again.

"Thank you, Sam. That's great. I'll enter your details in the computer later and if you decide to join, we'll have a membership card made up for you. Jamie!" She turned as she called out the name, and a moment later a young man appeared. My heart sank. He looked perfect in every way and I would have to take off my protective fleece and reveal the whale underneath.

"Jamie, this is Sam. He's here for a free trial," Grace explained. "Will you show him around, please?"

"No problem." Jamie slipped out from behind the counter and grinned at me. He was about the same height as me, with blond hair standing up in short spikes. He was undeniably attractive and had what I thought of as a perfect physique—muscled in all the right places and slim where it mattered. His white polo shirt stretched across his broad chest, and red jogging bottoms emphasized a slim waist and sturdy thighs. I stared down at the floor, aware that beside him I must seem enormous. If only I could look like him one day.

"Sam? Would you like to follow me?"

I jerked my head up. "Sorry. Yes, of course."

"Is this the first time you've been to a gym?" Jamie led the way out of the reception area.

"That obvious, huh?"

"I just wondered if you'd ever been to Fitness First. A lot of our members went there."

"No. I've never been."

"Well, they were..." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "...a lot more expensive."

I chuckled despite my discomfort. I was pleasantly surprised by my treatment by both Grace and Jamie so far, although I doubted Jamie would be very impressed if he saw me without my fleece, sweating on a treadmill or some other piece of equipment.

"Here's the men's changing rooms," Jamie announced, as we entered a large room. "You can put your jacket in this locker here. The key tucks into the little strap, and you can put it on your wrist. Through there..." He pointed. "...are the showers. There's a sauna too, but you have to go out of here, to the right, and past the ladies' changing rooms."

Nodding, I made no move to take off my fleece until Jamie stared pointedly at me, then glanced at the locker. I unzipped the jacket with a sigh and slipped it off. My T-shirt reached mid-thigh, but did nothing to disguise the mound of my stomach and the horrible flabby parts of my chest above it. I shoved the jacket into the locker, put the key band around my wrist, and folded my arms protectively across my chest. I wanted the shiny tiled floor to open up and swallow me. Anything to get me away from this fit young man who smiled at me as if I wasn't an unattractive slob.

"Good, let's go. Have you got anything particular in mind you'd like to try?" Jamie led me out of the changing area and into a vast workout room. I looked around me, speechless. Treadmills, cross trainers, rowing machines, stair climbers, and stationary bikes filled a large part of the room. At one end a host of weight machines clanked and squeaked as they were used, and nearby was a selection of free weights. "There's a smaller training area upstairs, and a studio for classes like aerobics, and yoga, and that type of thing. There's another room off there for spinning classes. That's high intensity cycling." Jamie pointed again.

"Um..." I certainly couldn't see myself doing aerobics or "spinning." My only option was to be honest. I didn't know what would be best for me, and the last thing I wanted was to do something completely unsuitable and make a fool of myself. "My doctor told me to exercise, and lose some weight," I admitted. "I get breathless easily."

"Okay. Well, you should start with some light cardio work." Jamie ushered me to a bike. "I'd suggest ten minutes on this to start with. I'll show you how it works and you can set the resistance to what you're comfortable with. If it feels too much, you can slow it down. Then after this, ten minutes on one of the treadmills just at a brisk walking pace. After that we'll see how you feel. I'll start you off on the bike and leave you to it. I'll be around though, keeping an eye on you. So if you need any help, just wave, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded dumbly. It was his job, I realized. Of course he would be nice to me. I might be worth sixteen pounds a month membership. I followed Jamie's instructions, and he adjusted the height of the bike seat for me. He started up the machine and showed me how I could set a program, or simply pedal and watch my distance, speed, and calories burned on the small screen. Before he left me, he grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby cooler and placed it in the cup holder beside the bike's handlebars.

"Make sure you take on plenty of water. Hydration's really important when you're exercising."

"Thanks." I nodded and started to pedal slowly. Jamie watched for a minute and then walked off to attend to a guy who was struggling to program a rowing machine. When he'd finished, he wandered over to the weights and began chatting to another trainer. I stared, unable to help myself. The other young man was gorgeous. He was a couple of inches shorter than Jamie, his body slim and toned. His dark shaggy hair brushed his collar at the back of his neck. I was torn between wanting him to take over from Jamie to show me around the rest of the equipment, and hoping he wouldn't notice me.

Lowering my head, I concentrated on what I was doing, increasing my pace a little. I gripped tightly onto the handlebars as I pumped my legs. My armpits and the middle of my back grew damp with sweat, but I ignored it. Instead, I looked around me at the other people using the equipment and I noticed something surprising. The woman using the bike at the opposite end of the row to me was easily my size. Her black leggings stretched around chunky legs, and her baggy T-shirt draped her large frame, just like mine. Strands of frizzy hair escaped her tangled ponytail, and sweat glistened on her red face. Her huge breasts jiggled as she pedaled, and she gripped the handlebars fiercely with meaty fists.

A little distance away, two stunning girls ran side by side on treadmills. Next to them, a chubby, middle-aged man pounded the rubber road, screwing up his face with determination. On the weight machines, several bodybuilder types worked out alongside another stocky man. As he lay on his back doing leg raises, his bulging stomach rose and fell beneath his sleeveless shirt. There were all shapes and sizes around me and at least half were bigger than average. They were people like me, no doubt wanting to lose some weight and get fit. No one stared, or whispered, or looked at me with disgust, and my misery dispersed.

_I can do this. I'm just like them_.

"How are you getting on, Sam?" Jamie appeared in front of my bike. "You've done more than ten minutes."

"Oh!" I let my legs relax, surprised to see the display showed I'd been pedaling for twelve minutes and I hadn't even noticed. I was sweaty and a little breathless, but I hadn't struggled. "That was good." Pressing the Off switch on the machine, I stepped down, remembering to collect my bottle of water. I hadn't opened it yet, and I unscrewed the cap and gulped some. "Treadmill next, right?"

"Follow me." Jamie ushered me to the treadmill next to the older man, clipped the safety cord to my T-shirt, and started the machine for me. I walked slowly as it began to move, and Jamie pointed out the different settings. There were preset programs available, but I could just start and then stop when I wanted. If I felt like walking uphill, I could adjust the angle, and I could speed up or slow down as necessary. Jamie watched while I increased the speed of the treadmill to a brisk walking pace, and held on firmly to the supports as I strode along.

"Okay?"

"Yes, thanks."

Jamie left me again and I kept moving. The man next to me slowed from a run to a walk, and lifted an arm to wipe his forehead with his sleeve. He glanced at me and grinned.

"New here?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. I used to go to Fitness First a few years ago, but got out of the habit. I'm finding it a bit tough starting again." He breathed out hard and drank some water. "Are you on the free trial?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Doc told me to get rid of some flab."

"Do you think you'll stick at it?"

"Yes, I intend to."

"Good for you. I'll probably run into you sometimes. I'm in here every weekday around this time. I'm Tom, by the way."

"Sam." I nodded at him again.

"Time for me to go anyway. My wife will have dinner ready. Some bloody awful salad or some such." He wrinkled his nose and laughed. "'Bye for now."

"Good-bye, Tom." I carried on walking, pleasantly surprised again. Maybe gym hadn't been such a bad idea after all. I might even end up making friends, or at least people I could chat to while I exercised.

I glanced around me, hoping I might catch sight of the dark-haired trainer again, but he was nowhere to be seen. I caught Jamie's eye instead and he gave me another thumbs up. I nodded and carried on.

My ten minutes on the treadmill passed quickly. By the time I stopped, I gasped for breath and my legs shook, even though I'd only gone at a quick walking pace. I leaned on the safety bar and drank the rest of my water, hoping my pounding heart wasn't going to give out. The last time I'd done anything so vigorous was probably when I had sex with Mark a year ago. We hadn't even done that in the last six months of our floundering relationship.

"Sam, are you okay?" Jamie appeared at my side.

"Yeah, thanks." I gulped air, hoping I wouldn't pass out. "Not used to it."

"Do you need to sit down for a minute?"

"No. M'fine." I sucked in a long breath and blew it out. I'd begun to catch my breath and my pulse slowed. I'd survived more than twenty minutes of exercise and it amazed me. "I want to do one more thing before I go. What about those?" I pointed at the cross trainers. "Are they hard work?"

"No, you can have them on an easy setting and your weight helps push down the pedals."

"Well, at least I've got weight on my side," I joked, and managed a smile. Again I'd surprised myself. I wasn't one for making jokes at my own expense.

"I think you're doing great. Don't overdo it on your first night though."

"I won't. I want to do half an hour in total."

"Okay, well you will find this tougher than the other machines, so we'll go for five minutes. I'm putting it on the lowest resistance and I'll hang about while you do it. I'll just get you some more water." He hurried away and returned within seconds. He placed the bottle of water in the machine's cup holder.

"Shouldn't I be paying for these?" I wondered.

"No." Jamie laughed. "They're included within membership, and there's only so much a person can drink on a free trial so we don't worry about it."

"Thanks." I drank some more before I started on the cross trainer. Then I clung to the safety bars for dear life, with my body swinging awkwardly from side to side as I tried to co-ordinate my movements. My thighs ached and I quickly became breathless again. I watched the timer on the screen in front of me counting the seconds and kept going, determined to finish five minutes. When I did it and stood still, shaking and panting, Jamie praised my efforts.

"Well done, Sam! You did great. So, do you think you'll come back?"

"Yes, I'm going to sign up. I can do this. I've got a good incentive." I thought of the dark-haired guy as I spoke, and my face warmed.

"What's that, then?"

"Uh, my doctor's appointment in two weeks. He won't be impressed if there's no improvement at all."

Jamie grinned. "If you carry on like this I'm sure he'll be pleased. I'd better get on. See you next time." He didn't ask whether I planned to attend at the same time, or give me time to respond before he walked away.

I took one more look around as I made my way to the changing rooms. The other trainer stood by the water supply, chatting to a pretty girl in a leotard. If only he'd smile at me one day, the way he smiled at her. Even from a distance, the dimples in his cheeks were noticeable. He was more incentive to come back than the doctor could ever be.

### Chapter Two

I COULDN'T bring myself to use the showers in the men's changing room. They all had curtains around them for privacy, but when I saw half a dozen men in various stages of undress, I was too embarrassed to join them. Taking my fleece from the locker I slipped away, deciding to shower when I got home instead.

The rain was still pouring down and by the time I'd caught the bus I was soaked. I became even wetter after walking the couple of hundred yards from the bus to my apartment. Shrugging out of my sodden clothes in the little hallway, I headed straight for the shower. It was only as I stood under the hot spray that I realized I was hungry. My stomach rumbled impatiently as I dried myself, but I was determined not to spoil the day by choosing something quick and unhealthy to eat. Instead I made a vegetable stir-fry and grilled a piece of fish to go with it. I flavored it with salt, black pepper, and a sprinkling of soy sauce instead of a rich packet sauce, and I was surprised to find I relished every bite. I still thought I would have preferred a burger, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the healthy meal.

I spent the evening watching TV as usual, and sipping a large glass of water. By the time I went to bed, I felt more positive than I had in a very long time. I'd made it through the first day of the rest of my life.

THE NEXT day my routine was much the same. Another decent breakfast, work, and a chicken salad sandwich for lunch. By the time I got home, I was ready for another session at the gym despite the ache in my legs from the previous day. I took the bus there and spent another few minutes with Grace, signing up for full membership. She took the first month's payment from my debit card and advised me the membership would be charged to my card on the same day every month. If I wanted to end it, I needed to give them thirty days' notice.

I was disappointed not to see the dark-haired trainer that evening. Jamie came over to speak to me for a minute and make sure I was all right, then went off to check on other people. I followed the same plan as before—bike, treadmill, and cross trainer—and I drank a bottle of water as I worked. I saw Tom again and I walked on the treadmill while he ran. We attempted to hold a conversation, which was more grunts and gasps than actual talking. I learned he was a history teacher at the nearby school, and I admitted I worked in Belinda's and was regretting the last year of stuffing my face with their pastries. He seemed like a nice guy and he made my time on the treadmill pass quickly. Again I skipped the showers and went home to scrub myself. I baked a potato and a chicken breast for dinner and filled the rest of my plate with salad. I wondered if the past two days had made any difference at all to my weight, but I didn't have bathroom scales and I had no intention of standing in front of the mirror to see if I could detect any small change.

The following day I was too stiff to go to the gym and I lounged in front of the TV after work, although I still managed to choose well for my meals. On the fourth day I returned to the gym for another workout, and as soon as I walked into the main area and made my way to one of the bikes, I saw the young dark-haired guy. He was talking to one of the other trainers I didn't know and hadn't seen me. My pulse quickened and I was torn between wanting him to turn around and come to see if I needed any help, and hoping he'd stay as he was so I could admire him without being noticed. He wore the same outfit all the trainers wore and I noticed how the snug red jogging bottoms clung to his ass and firm thighs.

Pulling myself together, I concentrated on setting up the bike. The last thing I needed was a hard-on. When I looked up again, the dark-haired trainer's companion had disappeared and he had turned around. He made his way to my bike and stood in front of it.

"Hello, it's Sam, isn't it? I'm Luke. You came back, then." He treated me to a glorious smile. His fringe fell into his blue eyes and caught on the long dark lashes. He flicked his hair aside with one finger.

"Yes, I promised my doctor." I smiled back, a little self-conscious. "I didn't come yesterday, I was too stiff." My face flamed as I realized what I'd said and I looked down, hoping he wouldn't notice the double entendres. But he released a soft snort of laughter and when I lifted my head again, he had his hand over his mouth. _Shit_.

"I'm sorry." Luke lowered his hand, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I laugh at everything, mostly when it's completely inappropriate."

"Feel free. Just give me a minute to take my foot out of my mouth." I smiled ruefully, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt.

"So, how are you getting on?"

"So far so good. I was wondering what else I could try. I've only been on the bikes, treadmill, and cross trainer so far. Rowing maybe?" I looked at the two people using the rowing machines and wondered if I could manage that.

"Yes, I'll show you how they work when you finish here. There are some good programs and you can set them for as short a time as you like."

"I'd better try five minutes first."

Luke stayed and talked to me as I finished my cycling session. I did my best to keep my pace up, but he proved too much of a distraction. It was impossible. He was exactly the type of man I liked—dark hair, pretty blue eyes, soft pink lips. I had to force myself not to think about kissing them. That was a fantasy I needed to save for when I was alone at home, rather than embarrass myself in public.

When I climbed off the bike, Luke showed me one of the rowing machines. I picked a simple program where I rowed an imaginary canoe. A small map appeared on the screen in front of me, showing a route along the River Thames which should take five minutes at a slow pace. As I began, the little yellow canoe on the screen made its way along the river. It amused me and it made the new form of exercise pass quickly. Luke left me alone and I continued with the rest of my plan—treadmill next, accompanied by Tom who had only just arrived, and finally the cross trainer. I didn't see Luke for the rest of the session and I assumed he was either in another part of the gym, or had finished his shift and left. I was disappointed not to get another chance to speak to him, but as nice as he was, I doubted he wanted to spend all his time talking to the latest fatty to join the gym.

By the time I'd finished I panted for breath, my legs shook, and my shirt clung to my sweaty skin. I smelled a little sour and I knew other people would notice if I went to catch the bus like this. I hadn't brought a towel and change of clothes with me, so my only option was to walk home. It was a little over a mile, but despite my exhaustion I was sure I'd make it. I helped myself to another bottle of water before I left, then set off slowly and steadily. It was pleasantly cool outside, but I continued to sweat as I worked my tired muscles, plodding home along a series of paths and a cycle track. Five minutes from home, I came upon a scuffle between three men beneath the trees at the side of the path.

I lowered my head, hoping I could slink by without being noticed. I didn't like fighting and I didn't want to end up as part of it, if any of them saw me and thought I'd poked my nose in simply by walking past them.

"Give it to me, you fucking little poof!" one of the men snarled, and I looked up quickly. One of the three knelt on the ground, and I was horrified when another of the men kicked the kneeling one, then bent over him. The third man joined in, grabbing a handful of dark hair and yanking, causing the victim to yelp in pain.

"Have you got it?" the third man asked.

"Yeah!" The other straightened up, grinning gleefully, and held out an iPhone. His friend released their victim's hair and gave him a rough push. He fell to his side in the mud and curled himself into a ball. Both men then caught sight of me and I cringed.

"What you looking at?" one demanded. "Fat pig! Come to help your little bum-chum, have you?"

"Leave us alone." I wished I had the guts to launch myself at him and try to get the stolen phone back, but I wouldn't have a hope in hell with my size and current state of exhaustion. I stood there, helpless, until the men laughed and walked away. I looked down at the young man on the ground, and gasped when bright blue eyes stared up at me.

"Luke!" His split lip oozed blood and his eyes were wet. He panted for breath and clutched his stomach where he'd been kicked. "Oh God." I dropped to my knees beside him, ignoring the mud I landed in. He trembled and I wasn't even sure he recognized me.

"I'm okay," he wheezed. His voice wavered and he looked anything but okay. He rubbed a dirty hand over his eyes, smearing mud on his tear-streaked face. I hesitated before I lifted a hand to his shoulder.

"Let me help you up." I tucked my other hand under his arm and struggled to my feet, pulling him up with me. He groaned in pain and bent over. "Do you need to go to the hospital?" I asked worriedly.

"No. Thanks."

"Bastards," I growled. "Were they...? Um..." I was reluctant to say 'gay bashers'. "They called you—"

"It wasn't that. They were just words. They wanted my phone." Luke straightened up at last and met my eyes again.

"You're not gay then." I cringed after I blurted the words out.

"Yeah, I am." He looked away and bit his lip, wincing as fresh blood dribbled from his lip.

"Me too." I responded quickly, then changed the subject. "I'm sorry I wasn't more help. I feel like I should have tried to get your phone off them."

"No, you shouldn't. They'd probably have turned on you. The phone's insured, although my mum's gonna kill me for using it around here where people like that could see it."

"You live near here?"

"I live on Thorpe Road, but I was going to see a friend. Probably a bad idea now. She'll be horrified by the state of me."

"My place is only a few minutes away. You can come and clean up a bit if you want," I offered. "I know we don't really know each other, but..." I waited for him to reply. I felt awful for him, but inside my heart leapt. _He's gay_. Not that it was likely to do me any good.

"Thanks, Sam. That'd be great."

"Just don't get too close. I stink." Grimacing, I attempted to brush mud off my knees and only succeeded in getting my hands covered in it. "I usually shower when I get home from the gym."

"Don't worry about it." Luke dabbed at his bleeding lip with the cuff of his sweatshirt, then sniffed and rubbed his hand over his eyes again. I wished I had a tissue or something I could use to wipe the mud from his cheek, but I doubted I would have had the courage.

Luke wore jeans rather than his red gym pants and I looked around, wondering if he'd had a bag with him containing his other clothes. I spotted a rucksack a couple of yards away and went to pick it up.

"Is this yours?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

I kept hold of the bag and we began to walk the rest of the way to my apartment. Both of us were shaken, and we didn't speak until I'd let us into the building and Luke stood in my short hallway.

"I shouldn't come in any farther. I'll get mud on your stuff." He looked through the open door into my living room at the light brown and cream furnishings.

"The bathroom's there." I pointed to the door on the other side of the hall. "Have you got clothes in your bag you can change into?"

"Yeah." Luke removed his shoes, took the bag from me, and slipped away to the bathroom. I went to my bedroom and changed out of my muddy jogging bottoms into a pair of baggy jeans. Keeping the fleece on over my sweaty T-shirt, I made my way to the kitchen to boil the kettle. By the time Luke emerged from the bathroom in his gym pants, I had two mugs on the kitchen counter.

"Would you like some tea or coffee? Or chocolate?"

"Tea, please." He took a seat on the single bar stool I had in the corner. "Thanks for this, Sam."

"No problem." My hand shook a little as I took teabags out of the container and poured water into the mugs. "Sugar and milk?"

"Just milk, please. Shit, Karen's going to be wondering where I am. Do you think I could borrow your phone for a minute?"

"Here you go." I unlocked my iPhone and passed it to him. He tapped out a quick text, gave me the phone back, and picked up his mug. A moment later my phone vibrated and I checked the screen.

"It says, 'Hope you're okay. Call me tomorrow'," I read aloud.

"Thanks. She's my best friend. We've known each other since nursery school," Luke explained. "I like your apartment. Do you live alone?"

"Yes. You?"

"I live with my mum and my younger brother. Nick's still at school; he's fourteen."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-three."

"Me too." I grinned at him. "How long have you worked at the Gym?"

"Only since it took over from Fitness First. I had a job at Bannatyne's; you know the gym in Werrington? It was good, but when the Gym advertised for staff I thought I'd try for it. I can walk to work so it saves on transport. I like it much better."

"Did you have to go to uni to be a trainer?" I was surprised I could find things to say. I often became tongue-tied around attractive men, but Luke had been so nice to me at the gym, and having found him in such an awful state, I felt more confident than usual.

"Yes, I've got a degree in sports science. I've only been working for two years, but I love it. Mostly I just do what you see me doing, but I'm qualified to teach aerobics classes too, and swimming lessons. There's a pool at Bannatyne's and that was one of the things I liked best when I was there."

"You won't catch me doing aerobics or swimming!" I snorted and Luke smiled.

"You might surprise yourself one day."

"Well, I've got a long way to go." I looked down at myself ruefully.

"You shouldn't put yourself down. You're making an effort to change things. That's a good thing and you seem to be doing really well so far."

"You're just being nice." My self-loathing resurfaced and I avoided looking at him. How did this turn from me helping him after he was attacked, to him trying to reassure me?

"No, I'm being honest."

I lifted my head again and found him studying me over the rim of his mug, blue eyes serious.

"Well, thanks. I am trying. Can you excuse me for a few minutes? I really need to clean up properly." I could smell myself even with the fleece still on. "Unless you need to rush off."

"No." Luke shook his head and sipped his tea. Leaving the kitchen in relief, I grabbed some clean clothes from my bedroom and took the fastest shower in history. I felt much better by the time I'd sprayed myself liberally with deodorant, added a splash of cologne, and put on a clean striped shirt with my jeans. I knew I didn't look nice—I was never going to look nice unless I lost about a quarter of my body weight—but at least I looked the best I could.

I found Luke standing in the middle of my living room, looking at my collection of CDs and DVDs. When I opened my mouth to ask if he wanted anything, my stomach growled loudly.

"Oh! Shit. I'm starving," I admitted. "I'm going to make something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm not hungry. Thanks, anyway. I should get out of your way." Luke looked at the door as if he couldn't wait to leave.

"You're not in my way. But I'm sure you've got better things to be doing. Will you be all right walking home?"

"Yes, fine. Thanks, Sam," Luke repeated.

"Oh, I didn't really do anything." I shrugged off his thanks and he gave me one of his beautiful smiles. Following him to the door, I waited while he put on his muddy shoes and picked up his rucksack.

"I'll see you, whenever you're next at the gym." He glanced up at me as he pulled the door open and I smiled back.

"Yes, I'll be there every week day from now on. I'll be there tomorrow."

He nodded and I watched him trot down the stairs and let himself out of the building. Then I closed the door and went to prepare a meal. I felt wistful as I sliced and chopped. Luke was gay, but there wasn't a chance in hell he would want me. However nice he was, it was just that. He was a nice man. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd launched myself at his attackers, sent them flying, and got his phone back. Being a hero wouldn't help him see past the way I looked. But maybe in a few months.

FRIDAY WAS my last session at the gym for the week. When I'd joined, I decided to go religiously every week day—except for Wednesday when everything had ached too much—and do what I usually did on the weekends. I followed my usual plan at Friday's session, with rowing now being the second activity, and my total workout time crept up to almost forty minutes.

This time I'd brought a change of clothes, towel, and toiletries with me, and I braved the showers for the first time. I undressed cautiously and covered up as best I could with the huge bath towel I'd brought. I looked furtively around, certain the other four men in the room would sneer at my fat ass, but no one gave me a second glance. All concentrated on what they were doing. One man of almost my size wandered naked to the showers with his towel in his hand, apparently unconcerned about whether anyone looked at his jiggling flesh. Shrugging, I secured the towel firmly around my waist and made my way to one of the vacant showers. No one seemed to care what I looked like. So long as Luke never got to see me uncovered.

I spent a few minutes in the shower, soaping myself under the hot spray. After I'd rinsed I stood there with my eyes closed, thinking about the little chats I'd had with Luke throughout my workout. He'd spent a couple of minutes with me while I pedaled and thanked me again for helping him. His lip looked sore, but otherwise he seemed fine. He'd told me his mother was predictably furious about his carelessness with the phone. Their house insurance policy covered it, but she'd insisted he pay the excess on the claim they had to make for its replacement.

When I'd walked on the treadmill I'd chatted to Tom, who continued to bemoan the endless salads his wife made him eat. He'd told me conspiratorially that he intended to grab some fish and chips on his way home that night, as his wife was going out with a friend. Then when I'd worked on the cross trainer, Luke had appeared again and told me he planned to take his brother to a football match on Saturday, but that he had to work on Sunday—an early shift starting at six in the morning. He had to work mornings the whole of the next week, and would have finished by the time I arrived for my evening sessions.

I sighed heavily as I turned the water off, and wrapped my towel around myself again. I'd miss seeing him, but I knew I was being silly to let myself like him so much. He chatted to everyone—it was his job. He routinely made his way around the runners, cyclists, and rowers, and those on the weight machines, checking if they needed help or advice and generally being friendly. Just because he spent a few minutes with me on two separate occasions and was grateful I'd picked him up and made him a cup of tea, didn't mean anything. I told myself that over and over as I dressed again and went to catch the bus home. I needed to stop daydreaming.

### Chapter Three

The following week crawled by. I was angry with myself for lapsing on Saturday night and getting a Chinese takeaway. I'd been full of good intentions when I looked through the menu, trying to pick out some options that wouldn't be too bad for me. But when I called the restaurant I'd ordered my favorites—a large portion of special fried rice, deep fried chicken balls with sweet and sour sauce, spring rolls, and a huge bag of prawn crackers. I'd gobbled the lot, washed down by several beers, and then spent the rest of the weekend cursing myself and wondering how far I'd set myself back.

During that week I increased my workout sessions to forty-five minutes, and on two of the days I walked home from the gym. I didn't miss a day, even on Wednesday when my legs ached so much it was a struggle to get up the stairs to my apartment. Strangely, I noticed the struggle was the stiffness and that I didn't feel particularly breathless from the short climb. The gym had to be doing me some good, and Jamie had spoken to me a couple of times and told me he thought I was getting on well.

My appointment with the doctor was on Friday, and I went straight there from the gym with my hair still wet from the shower. I didn't miss the appraising look Dr. Maddock gave me before I sat down and slid out of my fleece jacket so he could take my blood pressure. He noted there was an improvement and tapped something into his computer, then invited me to stand on the weighing scales. It was the part I'd been dreading. I'd convinced myself the efforts I'd made hadn't been enough; that I hadn't tried hard enough, and the Chinese takeaway had undone all the hard work from the first week. I didn't look down at the digital display, but stared straight ahead at the wall until the doctor spoke.

"Well done, Sam. You've clearly been working hard."

"I beg your pardon?" I stepped off the scales and looked at him in surprise.

"You've lost fifteen pounds."

"Huh?"

Dr. Maddock smiled. "You've lost fifteen pounds. That's a wonderful result in just two weeks. I assume you took my advice?"

"Yes, I go to the gym every weekday. I've been eating healthier meals most of the time, too. I had a Chinese takeaway last weekend though," I admitted guiltily.

"There's nothing wrong with a treat now and then. As long as you adopt a healthier eating regime in general, there's nothing to stop you enjoying a takeaway, or a meal out sometimes. We all do that. Are you enjoying the gym?"

"Yes!" I was surprised by my enthusiasm. I'd enjoyed it less in the second week, but that was mostly due to the absence of Luke. I only had to get through the weekend and I'd see him again. Telling myself to stop dreaming about him hadn't had much effect.

Dr. Maddock chuckled. "Well, that's good. Carry on the way you are and make another appointment to see me in six weeks."

Somewhat stunned, I left the surgery. Fifteen pounds? I needed to lose about seventy pounds in total which still wouldn't make me slender, but at least I could carry it with being six feet tall. I made the next appointment for the middle of June, then headed home.

I didn't feel any different except for being less breathless. My clothes didn't feel looser and I still couldn't see my dick. However, it encouraged me to keep going. I decided an extra session at the gym on Sunday would be a good idea. I didn't know if Luke would be working, but if he'd had a day off in the middle of the week, I thought there was a good chance he would be.

On Sunday morning, a couple of hours after my breakfast of porridge, raisins, and sliced banana, I donned my shabby workout gear and took the bus to the gym. I thought I should probably buy a decent pair of jogging bottoms and a couple of new moisture-wicking tops, and I could do with new running shoes too. I'd always hated shopping, particularly for trousers. When I'd had to look for outsize items it had brought home to me how big I was, but I'd continued to bury my head in the sand and shovel pastries and cakes down my neck. At least I was on the right track now. Maybe some new clothes would make me feel even better.

Luke didn't appear to be at the gym, so I settled into my usual routine. I was more disappointed than I cared to admit, and once again I told myself not to be so stupid. I could only look at him from afar, and several times now he'd crept into my fantasies when I lay alone at night. His firm, slender body and pretty face gave me great wanking material.

Increasing the pace on my treadmill, I pounded the machine at an awkward jog in my efforts to push him out of my mind. I panted and sweated, amazed when I was able to shuffle-run for four minutes before I had to slow it to a walk. I carried on for five more minutes, repeatedly wiping my forehead on the sleeve of my T-shirt. Taking a short break, I drank some water before I moved to the cross trainer. I'd almost reached the end of my forty-five minutes. I did a ten-minute stint on the last machine, then finished my water as I made my way to the changing rooms.

"Whoa!" Luke skidded to a stop at the bottom of the stairs leading to the upper level, narrowly missing crashing into me. "Sorry, Sam." He brushed his hair out of his eyes and laughed, his cheeks pink.

"Hi, Luke." I beamed at him and my heart, already pounding from the exercise, sped up even more. "I didn't think you were here today."

"I was upstairs instructing a spinning class. I don't often work Sundays. Last week was the first in ages, but they called me in today to cover the usual trainer. She's off sick."

"Oh. It's normally your day off then?"

"Yes, I get one day off in the week, which varies, and then most Sundays. I work virtually every Saturday and they don't make anyone work all weekend unless they're stuck."

I bit my tongue before I could blurt out that I'd missed him when he was on his early shift. I tried to think of something else to say and found myself tongue-tied.

"How was your workout?" Luke's question saved me from standing there like a fool, speechless.

"Pretty good. I even ran for four minutes on the treadmill. Well, you wouldn't call it running. More of a shuffle really, but faster than walking."

"That's great. You look good."

"I'm disgusting and sweaty, and my face is probably purple." I chuckled.

"I meant you look pleased with yourself, and your face is thinner."

"Is it?" I touched my damp face, unable to feel any difference. "Well, I had my doctor's appointment on Friday and he said I was doing better. I lost fifteen pounds in two weeks." I hadn't anyone else to tell besides him. I didn't talk about my weight problems at work and I rarely saw my parents, who'd never got over me coming out when I was eighteen. The last time I'd visited them, I'd seen the shock in their eyes at my appearance, although they hadn't voiced it. Luke was all there was, but I felt silly boasting to him about losing fifteen pounds off my two hundred sixty, when he probably weighed something like one forty soaking wet. He didn't seem to think it was silly and he grinned back at me.

"That's brilliant, well done! You must be really pleased. You should be. I've seen how hard you work here."

"Thanks. How have you been? Did you get your phone sorted out?"

"I'm okay." Luke's smile faded a little. "The insurance replaced my phone. My mum was fuming for a while. You'd think I was my brother's age, from the way she ranted about it."

"What are you doing now? Any more classes?" My racing heart slammed against my ribs. Was I really going to ask him to have coffee with me? It was spur of the moment and I was about ninety-nine percent sure he'd rebuff me, but we were chatting like friends, so maybe...

"I've got a break for half an hour. Then I'm on the main floor as usual."

"Do you want to grab a coffee in the cafeteria?" I asked quickly before I could think about it too much. "After I've had a shower, I mean."

"Um..." His eyes widened. _Shit_. "Sure, okay. I was going to go there to get a snack. I was up early, and I missed breakfast."

I fought against the urge to jump up and down and gave him what I hoped was a friendly grin, rather than an over-the-top, ear-to-ear Cheshire cat smile. "Give me five minutes. I'll meet you in there."

I charged into the changing rooms, fumbled my locker open with shaking hands, and grabbed my towel and toiletries. I peeled off my sweaty clothes and strode to the showers, towel in hand. For the first time I was unconcerned that I was stark naked in front of three other men, who were in the process of dressing or undressing. One raised his head and gave me a fleeting glance, but his expression didn't change.

I scrubbed myself from head to foot, dried off at top speed, and hurried back to my locker. Scrambling into the jeans and T-shirt I'd brought to change into, I decided I needed a complete shopping spree. My casual clothes were just as worn out as the ones I used for my exercise. It had been a couple of years since I'd bought anything new.

I slipped my feet into my shoes, shoved everything into my rucksack, and made my way to the cafeteria. Luke sat at a table, fiddling with a phone. I took a deep breath, put a pleasant smile on my face, and walked slowly to his table. He glanced up and placed the new iPhone on the table top.

"That was quick."

"I didn't want to hold you up if you've only got half an hour. Shall I get coffees or something?"

"I'll get them. The staff don't have to pay." Luke grinned and got up. He took two steps away from the table before he turned back, snatched up his phone, and put it in his pocket. "Typical of me. It's hardly surprising I lost the first one. If those twats hadn't stolen it, I'd probably have left it somewhere. I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck." He laughed quietly. "I didn't ask if you want anything to eat. I'm going to get a cereal bar and fruit."

"Oh, no, I'm fine. Just a coffee, please." I doubted I'd be able to eat anything, even though I was hungry. My mouth went dry as I thought of sitting across the table from him trying to make conversation. I hadn't had any trouble after he'd been attacked, but this seemed more like... _It's not a date. It's coffee between friends._

Sighing, I leaned back in the chair and waited for Luke to return. He brought a small tray holding two mugs of coffee, a cereal bar, and an apple.

"I got flat white. I hope that's okay." Luke placed one of the mugs in front of me.

"Great, thank you." There were little sachets of sugar in a pot in the middle of the table, but I ignored them. I'd stopped putting sugar in my coffee and tea two weeks ago. It had taken me until now to get used to the bitter taste, but I thought it was worth it. I had at least four hot drinks each day and that had amounted to a lot of sugar.

Luke tore open the wrapper on the cereal bar and bit into it. I sipped my coffee and tried to think of something to say to him. I'd asked him questions before and he'd told me about his job, and that he lived with his mum and his brother Nick. What could I ask now? _Do you have a boyfriend?_ Hell, no! My face flushed and I stared down at the table. _Say_ _something._

"What do you do for a living?" Luke mumbled around another mouthful of oats and nuts, saving me the embarrassment of having nothing at all to say.

"Um, I work in Belinda's Bakery in town. I'm the assistant manager."

"Cool."

"Not really. I like the job, but it's a temptation, all day every day. Eating their pastries and cakes for lunch and taking home leftovers helped make me look like this." I grimaced. "I don't do that anymore."

Luke smiled. "You shouldn't put yourself down so much."

"I suppose it's a habit. My ex used to do it all the time. I took over the job of 'tormenting Sam' when he ditched me."

"I'm sorry. Your ex sounds like an idiot." Luke looked up and met my gaze. His blue eyes were serious and sad.

"He was the only man who ever wanted to go out with me." I looked away and concentrated on my coffee. I didn't want to talk about Mark. I'd end up sounding like a complete loser. Twenty-three years old and I'd only ever had one boyfriend—one I'd put up with for much longer than I should have, simply because I was desperate for someone to want me. "What about you?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Do you mean, do I have a boyfriend? No." Luke's face shuttered. He toyed with his apple, rolling it back and forth between his hands, then pulling the stalk out. I wondered if he'd had a bad relationship too, but I didn't dare ask. We barely knew each other.

"Touchy subject?" I silently cursed my runaway tongue. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Luke sighed heavily and looked up again. "I went out with an idiot too. Without going into any detail, he made me feel like shit. Like I was useless and pathetic. I found out he'd cheated on me, and he just laughed and rubbed my nose in it. This other guy was hotter than me and more fun. More everything. You'll think I'm stupid, but I kept seeing him because he'd made me think he was the only chance I had of being with someone. He went with four other men before I finally found some self-respect and walked away." He hung his head and his hair fell into his eyes, but not before I noticed tears welling in the corners. My heart ached for him, and I reached across the table to touch his hand.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured. "He was a dickhead. How could you think no one else would want you?"

Luke shrugged and pulled his hand away from mine. "You just told me you felt exactly the same."

"Yeah, but look at me. And look at you. You're... you're gorgeous." My face burned and I was relieved Luke didn't raise his head and see, although his lips twitched.

"Thanks, but it's not all about looks." He blew out a long breath, wrapped both hands around his coffee mug, and gulped some before he straightened in his chair. "I didn't mean to tell you all that."

"It's fine. You can tell me anything you want."

"Maybe some other time. I should get back to work."

"Yeah, of course." My heart sank as he got up from the table. "What shift are you working during the week?"

"Two until ten, but it's my day off tomorrow."

"I expect I'll see you Tuesday then." I smiled up at him and he nodded, then left me and walked out of the cafeteria.

I stayed there for a while, rolling Luke's apple back and forth the way he'd done. As he'd left it behind I eventually ate it before I set off for home. I walked back slowly, deep in thought.

I couldn't get Luke out of my mind. The jerk he'd dated seemed to have hurt him as much as Mark had hurt me. It was difficult to believe that someone as attractive and sweet as Luke was single, and despite being certain I wouldn't be the one to change that, it didn't stop me dreaming about it. If he was mine, he'd never feel useless or unwanted. I wouldn't let a day pass without making sure he knew how special he was. But he wasn't mine.

THE NEXT few weeks passed by and I didn't get another chance to talk to Luke beyond brief chats in the gym about my workouts and a casual "How are you?" I could have gone to the gym one Saturday and tried to coincide my visit with his break, but I talked myself out of it. Instead I concentrated on increasing my efforts at getting fit.

I'd progressed to fifteen minutes on each of the four pieces of equipment I used, and my sessions on the treadmill now included eight minutes of running—not shuffling, but actual running, without the need to hold onto the safety bar. I jogged alongside Tom most evenings, panting too hard to chat to him beyond one-word comments, but improving on a daily basis. Both he and Luke had commented recently that I looked great, but I still hadn't had the courage to stand in front of my mirror and examine myself. Looking at my face when I shaved was enough, although I'd noticed the disappearance of one of my chins and a lessening of the fleshy areas along my jaw.

I'd finally bought myself a selection of new clothes, including lightweight running pants, three aerated T-shirts, and a pair of trainers from a sports shop, as well as an assortment of cheap trousers, shirts, jeans, and casual tops. I hated the idea of spending a fortune on new clothes and then, hopefully, needing to replace them again in a few months' time when I lost more weight. I'd decided I would treat myself to some better quality things when I reached my target. I was already pleased that the items I bought were a smaller size than usual, but I still didn't look in the mirror or try measuring myself. Instead I waited to see Dr. Maddock again. I'd done exactly as he said—sticking to my healthy eating regime all week, and allowing myself that one treat on Saturday nights. I varied the choice of takeaway, opting for Chinese one week, Indian another, and then pizza. On those days I always lost control of my sense of restraint and bought everything I fancied—enough to feed two or three people. I invariably regretted it afterward and worked out twice as hard for the next couple of days.

When I went to see the doctor, I felt much less trepidation than I had the previous time and I actually looked at the scales when I stood on them. I knew I'd lost a good amount of weight and I wanted to see it for myself.

"Twenty-three pounds." Dr. Maddock confirmed what I saw.

"It's not as much as I'd hoped."

"After the initial changes you made, and the big loss in the first couple of weeks, it's normal to slow down to a steadier loss. You're doing very well, Sam, and losing at a healthy rate. Thirty-eight pounds in two months is excellent. Just keep going the way you are. Your blood pressure is much better. I'm not going to ask you to make another appointment with me unless you feel you need one. Just continue with what you're doing."

When I left I walked home, despite the distance being much greater than my route between the gym and my apartment. I felt pleased with myself even though I hadn't lost as much as I'd wanted. I was well on the way to where I wanted to be. Not only was my body shrinking, but as I strode along swinging my arms, I noticed my breathing hadn't changed. When I arrived home I jogged up the stairs and still hadn't broken a sweat when I unlocked my door. I hadn't felt this good about myself in years, and I finally stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror in the corner of my bedroom.

I examined myself critically from head to toe. My chest had definitely shrunk, quite considerably. It was still broad, but the man-boobs had almost disappeared. My thick mat of chest hair hadn't been trimmed in a long time. It extended down over my mound of a stomach—rather less of a mound than before—and flared out into a thick bush around my cock. Damn, I really needed to take better care of myself. I looked like a bear.

I grinned at my reflection and cast my eyes down farther. My thighs were still chunky, but a lot less wobbly than they had been, and they weren't virtually joined together from my groin to my knees. I turned sideways and looked at my profile. I was still big, but I could imagine myself in another month or two, with a few less inches of stomach and more toning. I might even like looking at myself eventually. I wasn't an ugly man—at least I didn't think so. I just had too much flesh on my bones.

I took another look at my face. My medium brown hair was getting a bit long and needed a cut, but it framed my face nicely. I'd always liked my brown eyes until Mark had told me they were boring like the rest of me. I smiled at myself and the chocolate orbs shone back at me.

Finally I lowered my eyes from the mirror and looked down at my body again. It was a long time since I'd seen my feet, but there they were, hairy toes and all. I still couldn't see my cock while it was flaccid, but I grasped the tip and held it out at right angles to my body. Even soft I could see part of it, and I was delighted. Maybe the next time Luke told me I looked good I might believe him.

### Chapter Four

I WENT to the gym on Saturday for the first time. I hadn't seen Luke all week, and I assumed he'd been on an early shift. I left my bag in a locker as usual and went to the main part of the gym, but I didn't see him. He'd said he didn't work every Saturday, just most of them, so I assumed either he wasn't there or he was teaching a class upstairs.

I got on with my workout and asked one of the other trainers for some help with the weight machines. I'd read some articles on the internet about toning up, and learned that various resistance machines would do wonders for tightening up the wobbly parts. I was intimidated when I approached a trainer I hadn't spoken to before. His large frame bulged with muscles, and his rugged face held an unfriendly expression as he put away some dumbbells that had been left on the floor. But when I spoke he smiled and introduced himself as Ryan. He showed me various machines for working my arms, legs, and stomach, and stayed with me while I completed a circuit of ten repetitions on each machine. He recommended I take it steady, but try to do three circuits.

It was hard work. I wasn't used to working my muscles in that way, but I persevered until I'd finished the three laps of six machines. Ryan gave me a thumbs up from across the room. I went to take a shower and put on one of the new short-sleeved shirts I'd recently bought. The light blue fabric was broken with darker blue flecks and it was one of the nicest garments I'd had in a long time. I tucked it into my jeans and tightened my belt, which went a notch farther than it had two weeks earlier. Again I applauded myself for buying cheap clothes. It wouldn't be long before I'd need even smaller items.

I headed for the cafeteria to check whether Luke was in there before I left, but there was no sign of him. Disappointed, I left the building, deciding to walk home. I walked more often than I took the bus these days, and it was a glorious sunny day. I crossed the gym's carpark and suddenly spotted Luke jogging toward me, his rucksack bouncing on his shoulders.

"Hi, Sam!" He halted in front of me.

"Hi. Did you have an early shift this week?"

"Yeah. I'm on a later one today. I start in about twenty minutes. How are you getting on?"

"Great. I started using some weight machines today to tone up more. Ryan showed me how they work."

"Ryan's nice. I hang out with him and his girlfriend sometimes." Luke looked me up and down, then met my eyes. "I like your shirt."

"Thanks. I got a lot of new stuff recently."

"It looks good. You can really see the difference in you from the last few weeks."

"Thanks." I cleared my throat and resisted the urge to wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. My heart raced and I went ahead with what was in my mind before I could think about it anymore. "I was hoping I'd see you today. I wanted to ask you something. I wondered if... I mean, you probably don't, but maybe you'd like to go out sometime. For dinner, or to see a film, or something like that. Whatever you like." I stopped before I could ramble on anymore, and waited hopefully for his reply. His eyes had widened in the middle of my invitation. His cheeks flushed pink and he looked down to avoid my gaze.

"I'm really sorry, Sam. I can't. Please don't take it the wrong way, but..." He raised his head again, although he stared at the lower part of my face rather than meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated, then turned and walked away.

I watched until he disappeared into the gym. My heart sank into my fancy Nike running shoes; the only item I'd spent a lot of money on. Of course he didn't want to go out with me. Why would he? Just because I'd lost a few pounds and bought some new clothes, it didn't make me a good catch.

Aware that I was standing in the middle of the carpark, most likely looking like a lost puppy, I turned away and began to walk. Despite my exhaustion from the workout and my aching muscles, I charged along at top speed all the way home. Luke's rejection mortified me, but on top of that I was furious with myself. We'd become friends and I'd probably just lost the only friend I had by trying to make more out of it. How the hell could I face him again now?

By the time I pounded up the stairs to my apartment, angry tears had filled my eyes and I was wet from head to foot with the sweat I'd worked up on the way home. I stripped my clothes off, tossed the new shirt into the laundry basket, and took another shower. Standing under the hot water, I cried my eyes out like a kid who'd been denied a much-longed-for new toy. I must have presented a pathetic sight, with my flabby body bright red from the heat of the shower, shivering and wobbling as I sobbed and snuffled.

Eventually the hot water ran cold and I turned it off, scrubbed myself dry and got dressed. I was as low as I'd been in a long time, with my new and still fragile confidence shattered around me. I spent the rest of the day huddled on the sofa watching TV, only interrupting whatever mindless show I watched to answer the door to the pizza delivery boy. A fifteen inch stuffed crust was my companion for the evening, and as I munched my way through thousands of calories of fat, I wondered if I should have just stuck with food rather than get my hopes up that a man might actually want me again. It had been a ridiculous idea. Mark had been right all along. I'd spend the rest of my life alone.

I DIDN'T go out on Sunday. I ordered a grocery delivery from Tesco online as my fridge was filled with fresh vegetables, meat, and skimmed milk. I didn't think twice about stocking up on comfort food. I didn't question what I was doing to myself, or how quickly I slipped back into my old ways. It was like greeting an old friend when I unpacked the bags and put away pies, frozen chips, and ice cream. A pint of my favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry's accompanied me through Sunday afternoon, and when I was too fed up with myself to bother cooking any of the things I'd bought, I ordered Chinese food to be delivered. I wasn't even hungry, but shoving greasy food down my throat was what I was used to. Physically it only made me feel like shit, but mentally it was a crutch. I went on and on, crunching my way through a vast bag of prawn crackers long after I was uncomfortably full. I finished with another pint of ice cream, finding short-lived pleasure in the chocolatey concoction with marshmallow pieces and sticky sauce. I was back to square one.

I didn't go to the gym all week. I hadn't completely fallen back into my old habits, but it was only shame that made me continue with healthy choices for lunch while I was at work. My colleagues had commented on the difference in me over past weeks, with my obvious weight loss and refusal to touch the pastries and cakes. Digging into them again would make the staff gossip, so I ate my usual salad sandwiches, then went home to pies and chips, or frozen pizza. I ate with defiance, mentally punishing myself for being undesirable.

I'd read a book called _Love Hunger_ a few months earlier, and discovered it could have been written about me. Food replaced everything that was missing in my life: companionship, sex, and love. Even as I knew exactly what I was doing to myself, I carried on. I ate and ate until I literally made myself sick. I didn't do it intentionally; I didn't shove my fingers down my throat to purge myself of the ghastly amount of crap I'd eaten. But my stomach couldn't take what I was doing to it, after growing used to a balanced supply of protein, carbohydrates, fresh vegetables, and fruit. On Thursday it violently rejected the fat and sugar I'd filled it with, and on Friday I called in sick at work and spent the day in bed. I lay there, bloated and unhappy, caught once more in a vicious circle of self-loathing. Pizza and ice cream were the only things that comforted me, but at the same time they were destined to take me back to where I'd been ten weeks ago; even more unattractive than I was at that moment.

I had to get back in control and think about my health again. I'd started off in April with a plan to take care of myself for my own wellbeing, but one little rejection had blown itself up into monumental proportions and pushed me back down. It was almost as if the hope that Luke might like me had become the only reason for me to keep improving.

On Saturday I hauled myself out of bed and took a look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't say I looked much different, but when I tried on my newest pair of jeans, I could barely get them fastened, and I knew I'd done a fair amount of damage over the past week. It was time to get back to what had become normal to me, although I wasn't sure how I would face walking into the gym again. I dreaded seeing Luke. I could imagine the look of pity he'd probably have on his face. Instead I decided to go out for a long walk. Maybe I could make up my own exercise routine and I wouldn't have to go back. I could buy a bike and ride outside in the fresh air.

I walked for two hours that afternoon. I still felt miserable and by the time I'd finished I was starving. I stood in front of my fridge, trying to talk myself into making a chicken and vegetable risotto, but it seemed like a lot of hard work for something I didn't really want. Picking up the phone, I ordered a double pepperoni with extra cheese. It was Saturday after all and I always had a treat on Saturdays. That was what I told myself as I chewed my way through the artery-clogging pizza.

It wasn't long after I'd finished it, already regretting every bite, when my doorbell rang. No one ever visited me unless it was a delivery boy bringing food. My parents had only condescended to call at my apartment once since I moved out. They expected me to go to them on the rare occasions we saw each other. I answered the intercom curiously and waited for the visitor to speak.

"Hello, Sam. It's Luke."

Shit!

I coughed, hoping I hadn't said it out loud. "Um, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you. Can I come up?"

"Okay." I pressed the door release, then scurried into the bathroom to check I didn't have pizza topping around my mouth or on my T-shirt, which was likely. There was a little trail of melted cheese sticking to my chin and I wiped it away, bared my teeth to make sure they weren't caked up with food, and reluctantly went to open my door. What on earth could Luke possibly want to talk to me about?

"Hi," I greeted.

"Hi, Sam." He met my eyes briefly, then looked down, probably at my fat stomach which had to have grown a couple of inches since he'd last seen me.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I haven't seen you at the gym this week. I was worried in case you were sick or something."

"Right. You didn't think I might have just gone at a different time?"

"The computer says you haven't checked in."

"Oh." _Of course it does. Dickhead._

"May I come in?"

I realized I was blocking the doorway and he was still out on the landing, shuffling his feet awkwardly and glancing around him as if he expected one of my neighbors to appear and listen in.

"Yeah. Come in." I stepped out of the way and he walked past me into the living room. I closed the door and followed, knowing the first thing he would see was the giant empty pizza box on the coffee table. He'd think I was a complete pig. But he probably thought that anyway.

"So, you weren't sick, then."

"No. I just didn't feel like showing up there after I'd made a twat of myself asking you out," I admitted.

"You didn't."

"But you said no, which I should have expected. Why would you want to go out with someone three times your size?" I looked down at myself sadly, then back up at him. He stared at the pizza box. "It was my Saturday treat." I sounded defensive and I took a step away from him, folding my arms across my chest.

"It's not that. The reason I said no. Please don't think that."

I sighed heavily. "Don't try to make me feel better, Luke. I know what I look like."

"I like the way you look."

"Don't make me laugh!" I snapped. "Look at me! Maybe in a few more months I might look somewhere close to where I want to be. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. I was too full of myself after I saw the doctor and found out I'd lost another twenty-three pounds."

"That's fantastic," Luke said softly.

"Yeah. Well, I probably ruined it this week."

"I'm really sorry, Sam." Luke lifted a hand and tugged it through his hair. His fringe was getting too long and he could barely see through it unless he brushed it aside. I wanted to know what his hair felt like. It looked like silk. "I would have said yes if—"

"If you wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with me," I interrupted bitterly.

"Will you stop and listen for a minute? I'm still, um, I'm scared to get close to someone else, after my dickhead of an ex fucked me up. That's the only reason I said no. I like you, Sam, I do. I just... I don't want to get hurt again."

My heart lifted at his words and I mentally stamped it down. He hadn't changed his mind and unless he did, they were just words. I found it difficult to believe he could feel anything other than pity. I opened my mouth to let him off the hook and tell him it was okay; that I understood. But my tongue had other ideas and began to flap away as it often did.

"I wouldn't hurt you. I've been there too, remember? Maybe not exactly the same, but I know what it's like to be made to feel like shit over and over. To be put down and made to feel worthless. I hardly know you, not really. But I think you're amazing. I wouldn't hurt one hair on your head, physically or mentally." I came to a stop and tried to ignore the burning in my cheeks as I waited for him to respond.

"I think I knew that. It took me a little time to make myself believe it, though."

"Why are you here, really?"

"I missed you. I thought... I hoped we could try this again. Unless I burned my bridges last week."

"Are you saying you want to go out with me after all?" My heart hammered against my ribs. He couldn't possibly mean that, could he?

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I swallowed and tried to convince myself he wasn't just trying to make me feel better. My racing heart lurched in my chest and my stomach fluttered with nervous excitement. "We can always just hang out here if you want. I mean, we don't have to go anywhere in public." It sounded stupid even to my own ears, but I couldn't imagine he'd want to be seen with me. I wouldn't want to be seen with me, especially not after the last week's endless binge.

"I don't want to hang out here. I want to go out on a date, like you asked me to last week. To a restaurant maybe?"

"Really?" I repeated foolishly.

"Yes. How many times do you want me to say it? Yes, yes, yes. What's your favorite thing to eat?"

"Not pizza." I grimaced as I glanced at the box again. "Anywhere I can avoid eating the crap I've been stuffing myself with all week."

"Do you like Indian? The Bombay Brasserie's supposed to be really good. We can make good choices. Boiled rice, tomato-based dishes, and skip the naan bread?" Luke grinned up at me. "I don't like naan bread much anyway, especially that horrible sweet one."

"That sounds great."

"I'm on the early shift again next week and my day off is Friday. Is Friday okay for you?"

"Friday's great." It was six days away, which gave me time to start making a dent in the damage I'd done. "I'll be back at the gym, so could we say eight o'clock? Is that too late?"

"No, eight is okay."

"I don't have a car. We'll have to go on the bus or get a taxi."

"The bus is fine." Luke smiled again. "I can walk over here and meet you and then we'll get the bus into town."

"Okay. Great." Finally I beamed back at him. I could barely believe it—I had a date with him. But I still struggled with my confidence and if we wouldn't see each other at the gym during the week, I wanted to give him an escape route. "I'll give you my phone number. Just in case you change your mind or something."

"I already have your number, Sam. I got it from the gym records. Don't tell my boss." He flushed and shrugged. "But I'm not going to change my mind. Where's your phone? I'll give you my number. You can call me or text anytime you want."

I reached into my pockets, then remembered my phone was plugged into the charger next to the TV. I grabbed it and opened up a new contact. "I don't know your last name," I admitted.

"Walker."

I glanced up at him. "Luke Walker? Really?"

"Yeah, yeah. I used to get Skywalker at school all the time." He chuckled. "My mum's a massive _Star Wars_ fan."

I grinned as I typed in his name and the number he recited to me. I sent him a one-word text to check it, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket when it beeped.

"Hello back," he teased. "I'd better go. I'm taking my brother to see a film tonight. He wants to see _X-Men_. Not really my thing, but Mum won't let him go over to Boongate on his own."

"What type of films do you like?"

"Comedy; horror; even romance so long as it's not too cheesy."

"Me too. I'm not mad on horror films, but comedy and romance, yes. I cried over _The Notebook_."

"Oh God, me too! Nick told me I was a big girl. I love my brother." He pulled a face as he walked to the door. "Have a good week. Ryan or Jamie will look after you at the gym and I'll see you on Friday."

"Yeah, see you soon."

I waited until the door closed behind him before I allowed myself the Cheshire cat grin which threatened to explode onto my face.

I have a date with Luke! He actually likes me! Oh my God!

I repeated those words over and over in my head for the remainder of the evening, still wondering whether I was going to wake up and discover it was all a dream.

### Chapter Five

I FACED the week with renewed resolve. I started with an extra session in the gym on Sunday afternoon, then went religiously after work every day. Shoving the unhealthy frozen foods I'd bought into the bottom drawer of the freezer, I gobbled fruit, vegetables, and lean meat as if they were going out of fashion. I knew I wouldn't lose what I'd gained in just six days—fat always takes three times as long to come off as it does to go on—but I made a dent in it. By Friday morning I could get my new trousers fastened without breathing in although they were still a bit tight.

I spent my Friday gym session on the weights again. I'd done cardio all week and walked home after each workout. I felt much better than I had the previous weekend, both physically and mentally. I'd even plucked up the courage to text Luke on Wednesday and tell him I could run for fifteen minutes on the treadmill. He responded immediately with a beaming smiley, a thumbs up symbol and _WELL DONE_ followed by one small ' _x_ '.

As I walked home briskly on Friday night, I sent him another message. _On my way home. Still on for tonight?_

_Ready when you are, x_ , came the response.

Resisting the urge to put a little skip into my step, I walked faster instead. _I'll text you when I've got changed,_ I tapped out, and added a kiss of my own to the end of the message.

It occurred to me that I was walking along the same stretch of path where Luke had had his phone stolen, and I quickly put mine away. The last thing I wanted was for those two thugs to show up and ruin my night.

I made it home five minutes later. Knowing I'd be sweaty again by the time I'd walked home, I hadn't changed out of my workout gear or taken a shower. I stripped, showered, shaved, applied a small amount of gel to my hair, and did my best to style it. I sprayed on deodorant and cologne, then examined myself critically in the mirror. Earlier in the week I'd trimmed the thick mat of hair on my chest and stomach and given my pubic region a good pruning, not that I expected Luke to see me without my clothes. I wouldn't want him to see me like that yet, but I felt better knowing I was neat and tidy. I didn't like my excessive amount of body hair anymore than I liked my chubby body, but at least I could improve both as much as possible.

I dressed in a pair of smart gray trousers and the shirt Luke had said he liked. The evening was warm and I hesitated about wearing a jacket. If I had one it would cover my stomach a little, but I'd also start sweating, especially considering how nervous I was. I abandoned the jacket, put my wallet and keys in my pockets, and sent Luke another text. It was only a quarter to eight and we'd planned to start our date at eight o'clock.

He replied immediately and told me he was already on his way. While I waited I paced around the living room, taking deep breaths and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. My worst fear was that he'd change his mind after spending one evening with me, and then I'd feel worse than I had when he'd originally turned me down.

I brushed my teeth one last time and I'd just finished rinsing my mouth when the doorbell rang. Rather than let him in, I answered the intercom to tell him I was on my way down. I walked down the stairs with my heart hammering and there he was, leaning against the outer wall of the building. He looked gorgeous. His plain blue shirt matched the color of his eyes, and tight black pants emphasized the shape of his ass and thighs. He'd had his hair trimmed so it no longer covered his eyes, and he smiled shyly.

"Hi, Sam."

"Hello." I let the outer door close behind me and stood looking at him. I wanted more than anything to kiss him, but I was certain it was too soon. We should go on the date first. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." He smiled wider and walked beside me as we headed for the bus stop. "How was your workout?"

"Pretty good. I've done cardio all week, but I did weights again tonight."

We talked about activities at the gym for most of the bus ride into town. Then as we walked from the bus station to the restaurant, both of us fell silent. I tried to think of something to say or to ask him, but my mind had gone blank. I repeatedly glanced at him beside me, then looked around us, wondering if any of the people we passed were laughing at the cute slender boy with his hefty companion. I was relieved when Luke asked me a question.

"You've never mentioned family. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, my parents didn't want any more kids after they had me. I don't see them very often. They could never really accept me being gay. They didn't cut me off or anything, but they won't talk about it. They never met Mark. I think they hope someday I might 'change my mind'..." I emphasized the words with air-quotes, "...and get married to a girl. I remember them talking about grandchildren when I was in my teens, before I came out and dashed their hopes."

"I'm sorry."

I shrugged. I'd had years to get used to my parents' cool and indifferent attitude. "What's your mum like?"

"Fine. Over-protective. I told her when I was fifteen and she said she'd more or less guessed. She hated Jim, the ex I mentioned before. She didn't think he was suitable for me and when she found how he'd treated me... well, she's smothered me a bit since."

"Does she know you're on a date tonight?"

"Yeah. She'll be pacing the house until I get home. She's convinced anyone I go out with will treat me badly. That was kind of how I felt too." He flushed and gave me a sideways grin. "I'm sorry I said no before."

"Don't worry about it. At least you changed your mind." I risked brushing my hand against his as we walked, briefly caught it in mine and gave it a squeeze. I let go quickly, but he surprised me by catching my hand again and lacing our fingers together. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. If anyone's got a problem with two guys holding hands, it's too bad."

"I didn't mean—" I stopped before I repeated my concerns about him being out with me. If he didn't want to be seen with me, we wouldn't be out together. He wouldn't hold my hand, or look up at me with that sweet smile on his face. I needed to do as he'd said more than once and stop putting myself down. "So, you only mentioned your mum before. Where's your dad?" I asked.

"I don't know. Don't care either. He's a dick. Mum divorced him the year after I came out. They were already having major problems, but he was a real bastard to me. Mum threw him out of the house after he called me a dirty shirt-lifter, amongst other things."

"Oh my God!" I gasped. "That's awful."

Luke shrugged. "I knew he was anti-gay before I said anything, but I couldn't hide myself forever. There was this boy at school I liked."

"Oh yes?" I grinned and squeezed his hand.

"His name was Gary. I had my first kiss with him, but after a few times he decided he wasn't into it. Not long after that, someone found out I was gay and blabbed around the school, so I got bullied for a while. I didn't do anything else until I went away to uni. I had a couple of brief flings with guys there, but nothing serious. It was only when I came back and met Jim that it all got fucked up. Anyway, I already told you about that. Look, we're here." He halted outside the door of the Bombay Brasserie, and a smartly dressed Indian man opened it for us.

I wondered if I ought to have booked a table, but luckily the restaurant was only about two-thirds full. A member of staff showed us to a table for two, offered us drinks, and gave us menus. We both chose light beer, then studied the menus together. I remembered what Luke had said about choices, and I diligently picked Tandoori chicken with a side salad to start, followed by boiled rice and beef dupiaza. Luke had the same starter, but chose a king prawn main course. He told me he didn't eat red meat.

Now that we'd broken the ice with our chatting on the way to the restaurant, there was no stopping us. I asked Luke about his brother and he launched into a series of hilarious anecdotes of the terror that was Nick, whom he secretly adored and spoiled rotten, although he'd never have admitted it to the boy. We talked about our time at school, places we'd visited, and things we'd triumphed in or failed miserably at. I explained how food had become my crutch when I was lonely, and replaced the affection I craved when Mark had treated me like shit. It didn't even hurt to talk about it. It created no more emotion in me than telling him about my hopes to travel to other countries someday. It embarrassed me to admit I'd needed to lose seventy pounds after the doctor told me my weight was the reason for my breathlessness and dizzy spells, but it didn't upset me. Luke reached across the table and squeezed my hand, telling me once more that I'd done amazingly well so far.

The evening flew by. We both refused dessert and ordered coffee. I insisted on paying the bill, despite Luke's protests that he ought to contribute. He put his wallet away with a sigh, but when he met my eyes, his were twinkling.

"In that case, I'll just have to pay next time."

"Next time?" I beamed at him. "I haven't put you off yet, then?"

"Not yet." He grinned back.

"It's still early. Do you want to do something else?" I asked. We left the restaurant to find the street busy with people and traffic. Ten thirty on a Friday night, and the city of Peterborough was buzzing.

"We could get a few drinks somewhere. I rarely come into town at night, but I think Verve's okay. You know the club above that Mexican restaurant?"

"A gay club?" I queried. Mark had taken me to one in Leicester once and I'd hated it. But my aversion had probably been because he'd left me at the bar and danced for half an hour with his shirt off, while two muscle-men gyrated against him.

"We don't have to."

"No, it's okay. I'm just not much of a dancer."

"Me neither. But we can get a few drinks and no one will care if, um, if..." Luke broke off and laughed.

_No one will care if you kiss me_.

I laughed along with him. "Let's go."

Verve was loud and crowded, but I was much less nervous than I would have been if we'd gone back to my place and been alone. I hovered at the side of the dancefloor while Luke wormed his way through the crowd at the bar to get some drinks. No one bothered me, but I noticed two guys spoke to Luke while he waited. A tall man with blond spiky hair put his hand on the back of Luke's neck and bent to whisper in his ear. I clenched my jaw, wondering if the club had been a mistake after all. I could imagine that man tugging Luke onto the dancefloor with him and me having to watch, just like with Mark.

Luke shrugged his shoulder and glanced up at the blond man. His lips moved, then the taller guy gave him a wry smile and backed off. In another minute Luke returned to my side, gripping two bottles of Budweiser by the necks. He passed me one and leaned in closer.

"The blokes in here are like vultures."

"You got rid of that blond one easily enough."

"I told him I'm not available." Luke grinned and tipped his head back to gulp some of his beer. His Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and blood rushed to my groin. I almost wished I liked dancing, just for an excuse to hold him in my arms and rub up against him. I swapped my beer from one hand to the other, took a sip, and picked at the label. Luke stood so close his arm brushed mine as he lifted his bottle to his lips, but I couldn't bring myself to touch him. I imagined slipping an arm around him and pulling him against me; brushing his dark hair off his face and cupping his cheek as I kissed him for the first time. But courage failed me. I was too scared he'd pull away.

We stood side by side, drinking our beer and watching the dancers. I caught Luke's eye and looked away several times, and eventually the smile slipped from his face. He lowered his eyes and chewed at his thumb nail, shuffling his feet until a small gap grew between us. My heart raced and my stomach fluttered with nerves. Things had been going so well and I sensed I'd fucked it up royally, just because I was gutless. Luke looked hurt and it occurred to me that he might actually want me to kiss him, and thought I was the one who didn't want to.

I swallowed the last of my beer and leaned closer to him. "Do you want another drink?"

"Do you?" He looked sad and I mentally kicked myself.

"Yes, I'll get them. Don't go anywhere." I took his empty bottle and made my way to the bar. _Get a grip, Sam. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just kiss him, for God's sake_.

I had to wait a few minutes to be served and I continued to give myself a talking to while I stood there, reminding myself that Luke wouldn't be out on a date with me if he didn't want us to kiss. My lack of confidence threatened to spoil everything.

Finally I was served and I made my way back to Luke. He thanked me quietly as he took the bottle, but he didn't look up. I took a deep breath, wiped my right hand on my leg, and lifted it to touch him. I brushed my fingers along his shoulder until he raised his head, seeming surprised. I cupped his cheek the way I'd imagined and lowered my head until our lips were lined up. The smallest of gaps remained between us and I paused for a second, giving him a chance to pull back. He didn't take it and I pressed my lips onto his—a chaste caress until I felt his lips part beneath mine. I slid my fingers into his hair and curled them around the back of his neck as I deepened the kiss. Closing my eyes, I changed the angle so we fitted together perfectly.

Luke rested his hand on my chest and clutched at the front of my shirt. Encouraged, I flicked my tongue into his mouth, seeking his, and delighted in his response. I rested my free arm around him, pulling him in closer, while I gripped my beer firmly and placed my thumb over the top to prevent it spilling on him. He pressed his body against mine as he kissed me back, and I struggled to breathe through my nose. I didn't want to break the kiss even to take a breath. My heart raced and my cock filled, pushed against my fly, and nudged Luke's belly. I almost pulled away, but he hooked one leg around mine and rubbed his own restrained erection against my thigh.

Luke drew his mouth away from mine and tucked his face into my neck. Hot puffs of air fanned my skin as he panted for breath, and I couldn't suppress the groan that rumbled up from my chest.

"Oh God. Luke." I slid my hand down his back and hugged him tight. He gyrated his hips, grinding himself against me. Then he froze in my arms.

"Sorry. We should stop."

"Yeah." I kissed his hot cheek and loosened my hold on him. My cock throbbed and my underwear grew damp with precome. It was a very long time since I'd felt like this. I didn't want the moment to end and yet I wanted to calm down so we could leave the club and go somewhere else. Would he want to go home with me? Would he want me to touch him? The kiss had dispelled my fears of being alone with him. "Do you want to get out of here when we finish these?" I removed my arm from his waist and gestured to my beer.

"Yes. Drink up." Luke shot me a grin and tipped his bottle back.

It took us barely five minutes to finish the drinks. We left the club and took one of the taxis waiting in the street nearby. I gave the driver my address and gripped Luke's hand tightly in mine as we sat in the backseat. Neither of us spoke until I'd unlocked the door to my apartment and ushered him inside. It was only when we sank onto the sofa in each other's arms that my anxieties resurfaced.

I didn't want him to see me undressed. I needed time to lose a few more pounds and I worried I hadn't trimmed myself closely enough, and that he'd hate the amount of hair I had on my body. I knew he was smooth-chested; the top two buttons of his shirt were open and I could see just enough to know he didn't have chest hair. Even if he didn't care about that and liked a big bear of a man, what would he think when he saw my cock, nestled between my huge thighs and dwarfed by my mound of a belly?

As I held and kissed him, panic welled up in me and my cock lay soft in my damp underwear. Luke had no such problem. His erection was obvious, forming a bulge in the front of his pants. Maybe I could just do something to please him and I wouldn't have to worry about myself.

Luke pulled his lips from mine and turned his head to kiss my ear. "Sam, what's wrong? Don't you want to do this?"

"God, yes I do." I groaned. "I just... let me do something for you, okay?"

"I want to touch you." He drew back and met my eyes. Then he lowered his gaze to my chest and slid his hand from my shoulder to the top button of my shirt. "Please." He flicked the button open and moved to the next. I caught his hand in mine and held it still. My heart stuttered with nerves and I'd never felt less sexy in my life. I was desperate to distract him without his realizing how scared I was of him seeing me.

"Not so fast." I gave him a cheeky grin. "I've been dying to get a proper look at you all night; teasing me with your shirt open not quite enough." I unfastened the next button on his shirt, then another. Sliding my hand inside, I stroked my palm over his smooth skin. When I encountered a nipple, I rubbed my thumb over it until it pebbled under my touch. Luke closed his eyes and leaned back against the sofa cushions. I heaved a sigh of relief.

I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and tugged it free of his trousers. The fabric parted and bared his gorgeous pale skin. I feasted my eyes on him, noting that he was hairless except for a few dark whiskers around each of his nipples, which were firm and pink with arousal. His pants rested low on his slim hips, revealing small but perfectly formed abs, the top of the 'V' of his obliques, and a tantalizing dark treasure trail heading south from his navel. His erection twitched inside his pants and I moaned again at the sight. Despite my worries, my cock filled and I couldn't suppress another groan.

Luke opened his eyes and met mine. He smiled shyly and I returned it. I stopped staring and reached out to touch, stroking both hands over his chest and down over his rib cage, then back up to tease both nipples. Luke whimpered and shuffled around on the sofa.

"Is this okay?" I whispered. "I know it's been a long time for you, too."

"It's okay. I trust you."

My heart swelled at his words. I continued with my gentle touching, eventually making my way to his belt. I unfastened it along with the button at the top of his fly. He closed his eyes again and let out a soft sound, then bit his lip as my efforts to unzip him made my thumb brush his rigid cock.

Luke's tight gray briefs barely held everything in. His erection strained against the elastic, and a dark circle of moisture indicated he'd been leaking for a while. He shuddered when I rubbed my finger over his tip. I tucked my hands into the sides of his pants, and when he lifted his ass to let me pull them down, I snagged his underwear with them and drew both down to his knees. His cock sprang free and slapped against his stomach, the wet tip leaving a smear on his skin.

"You're so gorgeous," I murmured breathlessly.

"I'm going to embarrass myself." Luke peeked up through lowered lashes and laughed softly. "I'm so fucking close. It's ridiculous."

Seeing him like that, half naked and so hard, made my cock throb. I longed to free it from my clothes and touch us both together. I imagined how it would feel if I rubbed my cock against his, mingling our fluids and stroking us until we came. My erection twitched and more precome oozed into my boxer shorts. I ached to come too, but I was determined to concentrate on Luke instead.

I took him in my hand, gently at first, gripping only loosely as I slid my fist up and down. He groaned in frustration, bucking his hips up from the sofa.

"Please, Sam. Fuck." He bit into his lip and slid his legs apart as far as he could manage with his trousers around his knees. I wanted to hold that image of him in my head forever—his face and chest flushed with arousal, nipples stiff, cock hard and leaking over my knuckles. A neatly trimmed patch of pubic hair surrounded the root of his cock, and his softly furred balls pulled up against his body. I cupped them in my free hand and squeezed as I tightened my grip on his shaft.

"Oh fuck, yes. Just like that." Luke arched into my grip, thighs quivering. I jerked him harder and in a few more seconds it was over. He spurted hard onto his chest and stomach, moaning loud enough for me to worry the neighbors might hear him. I released him reluctantly and grabbed the box of tissues from the coffee table to wipe my hand. Luke opened his eyes, lips parted as he gasped for breath.

"Fuck, Sam." He chuckled and pulled himself upright. "Wow."

I passed him some of the tissues and he cleaned the mess off himself, then pulled his underwear and trousers back up. He glanced at my lap and I looked down too. My erection strained against my fly and I wanted more than anything to feel his hands on me. But as I thought about unfastening my clothes and revealing what was underneath, my worry came back with full force and my cock softened rapidly.

"Sam? Don't you want me to...?"

I avoided his eyes, wondering whether I should make an excuse or tell him the truth and admit how pathetic I was.

### Chapter Six

THE SILENCE stretched out between us and I hung my head. I tried to say something, but the words stuck in my throat. Luke fastened his shirt, and when I glanced up at him he lowered his eyes and chewed his lip.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I couldn't say anymore, as much as I wanted to make him understand.

"It's okay." He finished attending to his clothing and got to his feet. "I should go. It's getting late."

"Yeah." I got up with a sigh. That was it, then. I'd spoiled the evening and I couldn't even tell him why. I'd told Luke I wouldn't hurt him and I'd done exactly that. I could see it in his face as he avoided looking at me and sidled to the door. He couldn't wait to leave. "Do you want me to walk with you? Or get you a taxi?" I offered.

Luke shook his head. "I'll be fine. Thanks."

"I had a nice time tonight." The words sounded lame considering how things had ended.

"I did too. I'll see you at the gym." He gave me a small smile and slipped out of the door. I closed it behind him and leaned against it.

"You fucking idiot, Sam," I muttered. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I clenched my fists and thumped them onto my thighs. I noticed my legs felt firmer than I remembered, and I pinched the flesh through my trousers. I was toning up. I rolled my head back against the door and squeezed my eyes shut. Then I laughed. It sounded a touch hysterical and my throat was tight with the desire to cry, but I wouldn't let myself do that again. Nor would I let myself delve into the bottom drawer of the freezer for the pizza and cheesecake I'd stashed in there. Instead I stripped off my clothes, took a quick shower, and went to bed.

I'd probably ruined things with Luke. I tried to imagine what he'd be thinking and feeling right now. Everything had been going great. I'd made him come and then... then I'd rejected him. It had been about me and my self-loathing, but because of it I'd pushed him away and made him feel bad. It was clear by the way he'd avoided my eyes and made a quick exit. I'd most likely thrown away the one chance I had to be with him.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. I could try talking to him, but perhaps it was already too late. I turned onto my side and groped on the bedside table for my phone. I thought about sending him a text, but I got as far as tapping out two or three words before I deleted them. He might not answer and I'd feel even worse about it than if I didn't make the effort. I decided the only thing I could do was talk to him face to face. I'd make an extra trip to the gym the next day and hope I could catch him on a break.

I didn't sleep well which was no great surprise. I tossed and turned, unable to get Luke and my own awkwardness out of my head. By the time I got up to get ready for work, my head ached and I wanted nothing more than a greasy fried breakfast. I went as far as getting some eggs out of the fridge and reaching for the frying pan. But somehow I talked myself into poaching the eggs, placing them on two slices of toasted whole meal bread, and finishing with a pear. At least my willpower was better than it had been. If only my body image would follow.

I went to work and slogged through the day, finding it difficult to keep the friendly smile pinned on my face as I dealt with customers and staff. When it finally came time to leave, I hurried out the door without a backward glance. I'd brought my gym gear with me so I could go straight there instead of wasting time going home first.

It was almost six o'clock when I swiped my membership card and stepped through the barrier, and my heart pounded hard enough to make me breathless. I hurried to the changing room, looking around for Luke as I went, but there was no sign of him. I didn't know if he was working that day or not. I'd assumed he would, because he worked most Saturdays and he'd had a day off on Friday. But for all I knew, he might have worked an early shift, or be taking a class, or have called in sick because I'd made him miserable.

"Dickhead," I muttered. As if that would have affected him enough to take a sickie.

I peeled off my work clothes and reached into my bag for my jogging bottoms and T-shirt. As I straightened up with the shirt in my hands, Luke slipped into the changing room and halted just feet away from me.

_Fuck!_ I gaped at him in shock. I held the T-shirt in front of me in an effort to cover my chest and belly, silently thanking God I had my boxers on. My face burned and my pounding heart quickened its pace until it slammed frantically against my ribs. I turned away to face the locker and yanked the shirt over my head, fighting for what seemed an age before I was able to get my arms into the sleeves and pull it down to cover myself. My T-shirts were all huge, and this particular one was long enough to cover me to the thighs. Even so, turning away would have given Luke ample opportunity to see my ass.

"Sam..."

"What?" I grunted. I glanced to one side and then the other, relieved we were alone in the changing room. I should have turned around and spoken to him the way I'd planned, but tears of embarrassment made my eyes prickle and I feared they'd spill over if I faced him. I grabbed my jogging bottoms and struggled into them. My face continued to burn and the heat spread to my neck and ears. Eventually, I forced myself to turn around, clenching my teeth and scowling. I probably looked furious, but I was merely steeling myself to see the look of disgust on Luke's face. He took a step backward, eyes wide. _Shit. Say something, you idiot_.

"Luke, I'm sorry." I forced my face to relax and took a deep breath. "I just... I..." I stopped and cleared my throat, taking another look around to check no one had entered the changing room and was witness to my embarrassing confession. "I didn't want you to..." I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants legs and tried again. "I didn't want you to see me."

"Why?"

"Because..." I held my hands out on either side of my body. "Look at me!"

"I am looking. I like you, Sam. Why do you think I went out with you last night?"

"But I'm..." I gestured again helplessly.

"You're you. You're a great guy. You're sweet and funny and attractive."

I snorted at that last word.

"I know you don't think much of yourself right now. I've been there, remember."

"But you're gorgeous," I blurted. "And _slim_."

"And I like _you_."

"And this..." Another gesture to my stomach. "...doesn't bother you?"

"No." He took a look around the room, checking for observers the same way I had. Then he closed the gap between us, gave me a swift peck on the lips, and backed away again. "Maybe we can try this again? I mean, go out again? Only if you want to." Luke flushed and gave me a shy smile.

"Yes, I want to. I know I'm being a dickhead, but you know why."

"Well, I'm not Mark. Just like you're not Jim. I like you as you are, Sam. If you lose more weight, that's great, _for you_. I don't like to see you ashamed of yourself. But it doesn't matter to me either way."

The door opened and Tom came in, sweaty and red-faced from one of his treadmill sessions.

"All right, Sam; Luke." He nodded at us both and went to his locker. We both nodded at him in return.

"I'll leave you to it. Are you doing cardio or weights today?" Luke asked, adopting a more professional tone.

"Weights, I think."

"Okay, well if you want any help, give me a wave." He left the room and I folded my work clothes with shaky hands. I bit my lip hard to suppress the smile that wanted to split my face in two. He really liked me, belly and all.

"Sorry if I interrupted something." Tom glanced at me as he toed off his shoes.

"You didn't!" I sounded as guilty as hell and my face warmed again.

Tom grinned. "Right. I've seen the way you and him look at each other."

"Um..." I had no idea how to respond to that.

"My son's gay," he added. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"Thanks."

"Are you seeing each other?" Tom raised an eyebrow, then shook his head, smiling. "Sorry, it's none of my business."

"It's okay. We are." I beamed. "Why he wants to be with me, I don't know, but he does."

"He obviously likes you."

"Yeah. I always thought I'd be alone until I lost more weight. A lot more."

"I used to think my ugly face would put the women off, but my wife seems to like it." Tom grinned and patted his stomach. "She's less keen on this bit, but only because she's worried about my health."

"You look good," I told him.

"Thanks. Well, enjoy your workout. See you soon." Tom headed for the showers and I finished getting ready. When I walked into the main part of the gym, Luke waited for me near the pec deck, with a bottle of water in his hand.

"I noticed you usually start your circuits on this."

"Yes, Ryan gave me a program to do. I never could have imagined myself doing this a few months ago." I confidently adjusted the amount of weight on the machine and sat down. Luke stayed and talked to me while I completed two sets of ten repetitions. He passed me the bottle of water and backed away.

"I'd better leave you to it. Saturdays are always busy."

"I'll text you later?" I made it sound like a question, relieved when he nodded and smiled.

I finished my workout in a much happier frame of mind than when I'd arrived. Luke had seen me virtually naked and hadn't turned a hair. Maybe next time we saw each other outside the gym, we could be intimate without me freaking out about it. It was probably a blessing he'd barged in on me in the changing room, because he'd seen me by accident without me having to take my clothes off when we alone, when I'd be nervous as hell.

I left it until late in the evening before I sent him a text. I pondered over what to say for several minutes before I settled on: _Have you finished at the gym yet? x_

_Yes, at home playing X-Box with Nick, x_ , came the reply, only a minute after I'd hit Send.

Are you working tomorrow? Maybe we could do something if not.

Not working. Want me to come over? Do you fancy going for a bike ride or something?

"Damn," I muttered. I'd considered buying a bike but never bothered. Cycling with Luke would be fun, as well as burning off more calories. There was nothing to stop me buying one now, however.

_Don't have a bike, but meant to buy one. Can get one tomorrow. Meet me in town?_ I suggested. I could get the bus to town, visit the shopping center which had a decent bike shop, and get one prior to Luke arriving.

We agreed to meet behind the Town Hall at eleven thirty, Luke on his bike and me, hopefully, with my own. I planned to head for the shopping center as soon as it opened, to give me the chance to choose a bike and have it made ready to ride. By the time I went to bed I was excited about spending a few hours with Luke, even though I was likely to end up sweaty and exhausted. He'd seen me that way countless times at the gym after all.

On Sunday morning I reached the bike shop a few minutes before they opened and was the first through the doors at ten o'clock. The day promised to be warm and I'd dressed in one of my aerated T-shirts and a thin pair of jogging bottoms. I'd brought a small backpack containing bottles of water, cereal bars, and apples, knowing those were snacks Luke liked.

As the first customer, I didn't have to wait to be served. A young man was keen to help me when I explained I needed a sturdy bike for general riding. He showed me a few inexpensive models and I sat on one or two. I chose a Townsend mountain bike in plain silver with red trim. When I confessed I hadn't been on a bike in years, the salesman recommended I buy a helmet, too, so I chose one and paid for it together with the bike. I went to look around some of the other shops for an hour while the bike was prepared for me.

A little over an hour later, I wheeled my new bike outside and headed for the Town Hall. I hoped I wouldn't fall off the thing and make a fool of myself in front of Luke. It was probably a good thing I'd bought the helmet, just in case.

Luke arrived a couple of minutes after I reached our meeting place. He rode up on a smart blue and white bike with the name Kona on it. He was wearing a helmet, too, which made me feel less silly about strapping mine onto my head.

"Hi, Sam. Nice bike." Luke halted beside me and flashed me one of his amazing smiles.

"Thanks. I hadn't got a clue what to choose. I asked the man in the shop to recommend a few basic ones." I grinned back at him and tried not to stare too hard at his body, clad in a gray T-shirt and loose black shorts. "I'll warn you, I might fall off this thing. I should have bought stabilizers."

Luke giggled. "At least you got a helmet."

"Where do you go riding around here?" I swung my leg carefully over the bike. The man in the shop had set the seat height for me, but I was convinced it was too high.

"Nene Park? It's between two and three miles from here. We can just go slow and stop near the lake for a rest."

"Sounds great. I brought water and some snacks." I waited until Luke pedaled away before I pushed off. I wobbled precariously for a moment, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the handlebars. The bike seemed ridiculously fragile beneath me, but I gradually picked up speed and traveled more smoothly. It reminded me of all the cycling I'd done as a teenager.

"You okay?" Luke called back over his shoulder.

"Yes, thanks!" I stayed behind him as we cut through the city. The Sunday traffic was light, but at first I cringed and wobbled each time a car overtook me. I heaved a sigh of relief when we turned into Thorpe Road. Luke pointed out where he lived as we sailed by, and a few minutes later we left the main road and passed the Boathouse pub. I was surprised how quickly we'd got there. It wasn't far to the edge of the park and I felt fine. We weren't going very fast and I was sure Luke would have raced along if he were by himself, but he seemed happy to go at my speed. Leaving the road behind, we were able to pedal side by side and talk.

"I'm sorry I was such a prick on Friday." I felt like I needed to apologize again, but Luke waved one hand at me in a dismissive gesture.

"Don't do that. I understand, but we already got past that. Let's just enjoy ourselves. I like being with you."

"I like being with you too." I smiled at him and changed the subject. We chatted about our jobs, our families, and things we'd done, and the time flew by. We'd cycled around part of the park by then and I was surprised how well I was getting on. I decided I much preferred cycling outdoors to using a machine in the gym. I wasn't out of breath, but my legs had begun to ache a little, not to mention the fact that my ass throbbed from perching on the bike's tiny saddle.

We stopped by a bench, leaned the bikes against the back of it, and sat down. I unzipped my bag and passed Luke a bottle of water, a maple syrup and nut cereal bar, and an apple.

"I noticed what you chose for breakfast that day in the gym." I smiled at him sheepishly as he bit into the cereal bar. "I'm afraid I ate your apple that day. You left it behind."

"At least it didn't go to waste."

We sat in companionable silence as we ate the snacks. It was already early afternoon and I wondered if he'd want to spend the whole day with me. Perhaps I could cook us something for dinner. I'd recently tried out a number of new recipes in my efforts to stick to my healthy eating regime.

"What do you want to do later?" Luke tossed his apple core into the rubbish bin beside the seat. "If you don't have any other plans."

"I was just thinking I could cook something for us later, if you want to come back to my place. I've been trying out a few new things. I got bored with chicken and vegetables, or fish and vegetables, or vegetables and vegetables." I pulled a face and laughed. "I can make a mean paella."

"Sounds good." Luke looked around him in all directions, then edged closer to me on the seat. I took a look around myself and despite it being a Sunday afternoon, found the immediate area to be deserted. I so wanted to kiss him and when I turned to look at him, he tilted his head back and parted his lips. His blue eyes sparkled as he leaned in closer.

I pushed aside my ever-present insecurities and remembered the good things that had happened in the past few weeks. Luke's friendliness in the gym; his willingness to go out with me on Friday night; his warm kisses, and then his not batting an eyelid when he saw me virtually naked. I slid my arm around him and closed the gap between us. Our lips met in a gentle caress and I tasted the sweetness of apple on Luke's tongue. I lifted my free hand to cup his face, angling my head so I could deepen the kiss. Luke slipped a warm hand around my neck and held on as he slid his tongue against mine and pressed his body closer to my side. My heart pounded and blood rushed to my groin. Suddenly I was desperate for him to touch me and I couldn't wait for us to be alone. I drew back and put a space between us.

"You okay?" Luke met my eyes again.

"Yeah, but I'll be too stiff to cycle home soon." I grinned at him. "And I don't mean my legs."

Luke snorted. "I've got the same problem."

I looked down at the unmistakable bulge in his shorts. I was unable to suppress a groan and my cock twitched impatiently. "Shall we make a move?"

Luke jumped to his feet immediately and fastened his helmet back onto his head. Standing, his erection was more obvious and I couldn't help staring as I put my helmet on and slid the bag onto my shoulders. Luke moved his bike away from the bench and paused to adjust himself. I forced myself to stop looking and got to my feet. It would be a long ride home.

We pedaled slowly, but I still managed to work up a sweat by the time we reached my apartment. My T-shirt stuck to me and I was glad I'd put on a liberal amount of deodorant and cologne before I left home that morning. I needed a shower. Luke didn't appear to be in the same condition, but I offered him the bathroom first. He quickly freshened up and I left him in the kitchen making coffee while I scrubbed myself and put on clean clothes. I changed my shirt three times before I was happy, and when I joined Luke in the living room, my stomach fluttered with nervousness.

I switched the TV on before I sat down so there was something to break the silence. I sipped my coffee while Luke flicked through the TV channels and selected a program playing the latest chart hits. "Uptown Funk" filled the room and Luke tapped his foot in time to the beat. I put down my half-empty mug and turned to face him. He'd taken off his shoes and socks, and had one leg bent up with his foot tucked behind his other knee. I reached out and placed my hand on his thigh, stroking my thumb over his firm flesh. He unfolded his leg, dislodging my hand as he turned and sat cross-legged, facing me. I shuffled closer and put both hands on his knees. For a moment I just looked at him, the loose legs of his shorts having ridden up his thighs. Despite his dark locks, his legs had only a light dusting of hair on them, and his feet were long and slender with neatly clipped toenails. The tight T-shirt clung to his upper body and I already knew what he looked like underneath—smooth, hairless, and perfect. The crotch of his shorts was tight over his erection, making it impossible to miss.

"I want to touch you." I didn't realize I'd said the words aloud until Luke gasped. I lifted my head and met his eyes, the familiar blue darker than usual and the pupils enlarged. Luke grasped the hem of his T-shirt, pulled it up over his head, and tossed it to the floor. I hesitated for a moment, then slid one hand around his neck and drew him into a kiss. He parted his lips to admit my tongue and I explored eagerly while I stroked his chest with my free hand. I found one of his nipples and pinched it gently between finger and thumb. It stiffened into a firm little peak, and Luke groaned into my mouth.

He kissed me back heatedly, fumbling with my shirt buttons while I continued to touch his chest and stomach. My heart raced and I could barely breathe. I was forced to break the kiss and I ducked my head to nibble Luke's neck instead, kissing and sucking at the warm skin. The little whimpers and moans he gave encouraged me, and I took my hands off him just long enough to finish unfastening my shirt and shrug out of it. Immediately Luke touched me, caressing my chest and scratching his nails through the hair. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to my throat, then moved lower until he reached one of my nipples. He ran his hands over my stomach and around my sides.

"Luke..." I started to protest as my belly quivered under his fingers.

"I like the way you feel. I like hairy men." Luke's voice was muffled against my chest. He ran his hands up and down my back, then around to my stomach again. My cock throbbed in my pants and despite my slight discomfort, I knew I wouldn't stop him this time. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his hands and lips on me. Needing to touch him too, I caressed his thighs, gradually working my way inside the legs of his shorts until I brushed the tips of my fingers against his balls. It was only then that I realized he wasn't wearing underwear. I slid my hand farther up so I could cup his balls and give them a gentle squeeze. Luke breathed out hard and squirmed under my touch.

"Oh God," I groaned. "Take them off."

Luke pulled back and grinned. "Only if you take yours off too."

Again I hesitated, but the sight of him with his shorts bunched up around the tops of his thighs and his erection straining at the fabric overrode my inhibitions. I stood quickly, unfastened my trousers and pushed them down, along with my underwear. Kicking the garments off my feet, I sat down, my back against the sofa cushions. My hard cock ached and the red tip peeked out of my foreskin. Luke rose and lowered his shorts, freeing his erection. When he sat down he didn't return to the cushion at my side, but straddled my thighs. His cock bumped mine and I groaned. My balls pulled up against my body and I tried to slow my breathing, certain I would embarrass myself by coming before anything happened.

It had been so long since I'd felt wanted, or been touched by a hand other than my own. I slid my arms around Luke's waist and tugged him closer, shuddering when he gyrated on my lap and rubbed his cock against mine. I moved one hand lower and caressed his ass, squeezing his flesh and teasing his crack with the tips of my fingers.

"Mmm." Luke squirmed against me and rocked back, just enough to give himself room to get a hand between us. I didn't even care that my stomach got in the way. Luke didn't seem bothered by it. He hummed his approval when he wrapped his hand around my erection and his own at the same time. I groaned and shivered as precome from one or both of us leaked onto my skin. Luke captured it and used it to ease the way as he stroked us together.

I looked up and met his eyes. He had his lower lip caught between his teeth and he panted softly, his eyes dark and his hair damp on his forehead. I removed my hand from his ass and brought it to my mouth to lick my fingers. I didn't take my eyes off his as I reached around him again and rubbed a damp finger over his anus.

"Oh fuck!" Luke gasped, his body trembling in my arms. He stilled his hand and leaned forward to rest his head on my shoulder. "I'm so close."

"Don't stop." I circled his hole with my fingertip and he resumed stroking us with a shaky hand. I felt him spill between us, warm wetness on my belly and my cock. His loss of control pushed me over the edge and I pulsed frantically, groaning his name.

Luke rested against me, hands on my chest, one palm sticky with our combined fluids. I tightened both arms around him and breathed in his scent as my racing heart gradually slowed its pace. I didn't want to let him go. At last nothing mattered other than the pleasure we'd given each other.

### Chapter Seven

EVENTUALLY, LUKE and I pried ourselves off each other. I cleaned up in the bathroom with a damp flannel, then left him to do the same while I made a start in the kitchen. I diced chicken breasts, dry-fried them, and added onions and sliced green beans. By the time Luke emerged from the bathroom, the rice was simmering in chicken stock with a pinch of smoked paprika. I had a pack of tiger prawns and some frozen peas ready to add to the mix, and some fresh herbs to chop and sprinkle on the top.

"Smells good." Luke leaned against the counter beside me. "Is there anything I can do?"

Not wanting to stop stirring the rice and risk it going sticky, I passed him a knife to prepare salad items to go with the meal.

"I don't get to cook much at home. The kitchen is Mum's domain." Luke sliced tomatoes and tossed them into a bowl. "I doubt I could make anything like that."

"I just followed a recipe the first time I made it. I taught myself how to do stuff when I left home. Up until a few weeks ago, I mostly had ready meals or takeaway, though. There are still a couple of pizzas hiding in the freezer." I grimaced and laughed at the same time. I felt comfortable with him. For the first time in forever I felt as if I could be myself and he wouldn't judge me like Mark had, or look at me the way my parents did. He liked me for me and I'd started to believe it.

"My mum was asking about you." Luke broke the companionable silence as he chopped some celery sticks.

"I expect she must worry after what your ex was like." I remembered him saying as much.

"Yeah. Maybe you could meet her sometime soon?" He glanced at me, then looked away quickly. "You don't have to. I know it's early days and the 'meet the parents' thing isn't exactly cool."

"It's fine. Just let me know when. I think it's great that your mum supports you. I could never take someone—you—to meet my parents. I forced Mark on them once and they said, not in so many words, that I wasn't welcome to visit if I insisted on bringing my 'friend' with me."

"I'm sorry." Luke smiled sympathetically.

"Don't be. I'm used to it. But like I said, I'd be happy to meet your mum."

"Nick will probably be there too. He's cool about me being gay. He punched one of the kids in his class one time when they teased him for having a gay brother. He'll like you."

"I doubt a fourteen-year-old boy would see much to like in me."

"Offer to let him thrash you at _Mortal Kombat_ and he'll be a friend for life."

"Thrashing me would be easy. I'm rubbish at computer games." I chuckled and gave the paella another stir. "This is almost ready. Do you want to get some drinks out of the fridge? I've only got soft drinks."

"That's fine, I don't need beer to enjoy a good meal." Luke opened the fridge and selected two cans of Diet 7-Up. I served the food onto plates and put them on trays.

"We'll have to eat on our laps on the sofa. I keep meaning to get a little foldaway table, but it's been just me for so long, I haven't bothered."

"We do this at home." Luke carried his tray and the bowl of salad into the living room, and lowered himself onto the sofa. I joined him and we watched old episodes of _Star Trek_ while we ate. After the meal, which Luke said was delicious, we stayed on the sofa and cuddled for a while. He eventually pulled away from me and got to his feet. I was disappointed he had to leave, but when I looked at the clock I was surprised it was already after eight.

"We should do this again. With the bikes." I hovered at the door as Luke pushed his bike out onto the landing.

"Yes, it was fun. I had a great day, Sam." He propped the bike against the wall and stepped closer. "I'm working ten until eight this week, so I expect I'll see you at the gym?"

"I'll be there every day," I promised. "I'm going to cycle to work and take my gym gear with me. Might as well get some extra workouts when I can."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

I reached out and slid my hands around his slim waist to pull him closer. My fears had dissipated and although my pulse quickened, it was only due to excitement. When Luke pressed against me and tilted his head to kiss me good-bye, my heart soared. I hugged him tight and kissed him thoroughly until we were both breathless and aroused. I let him go with great reluctance, and watched from the top of the stairs until he'd maneuvered his bike out of the building. I went back inside and closed the door. It was early days, as he'd said, but I was falling for him, hook, line, and sinker.

I SAW Luke every day at the gym, but on Thursday I missed my session and went straight home from work to take a shower. It was Luke's day off and I'd been invited to his house for dinner. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd be about meeting his mum until I left my apartment to walk to Thorpe Road. I'd put on one of my nicest shirts and a pair of smart trousers, and after much deliberating, I'd bought a bunch of flowers to give to Mrs. Walker.

I'd only ever done the "meet the parents" thing once before, and Mark's parents had been very casual and non-conformist. We'd run into them in a bar and spent a few hours drinking together. I'd never been officially invited to their home and hadn't seen them at all in the last six months of our relationship. I desperately wanted Mrs. Walker to like me, and Luke's brother too. I feared if she didn't like me she might try to talk Luke out of seeing me.

When I arrived at the modest house, I rang the bell and held my breath as I waited. Luke opened the door and I heaved a sigh of relief. He beamed at me and indicated the flowers.

"Are those for me?"

"Twat," I teased.

"Don't you think I like flowers?" He put on a wounded expression, but his sparkling eyes gave him away.

"Just wait. Next time you'll get a dozen roses." I was only half-joking. I wasn't sure whether men should buy flowers for each other or not. I'd always seen it as a romantic gesture for women, but maybe it could be the same for men.

"Mum loves carnations," Luke added.

"Is that what these are?" I glanced at the pink and white flowers in my hand. I'd chosen them because they looked and smelled nice. Luke laughed and grasped my free hand to tug me into the house.

"Come on, don't stand on ceremony. Mum's in the kitchen making some fancy chicken dish." Still gripping my hand, Luke led me down the hall to the back of the house. A delicious smell emanated from the kitchen and my mouth watered. I glanced anxiously at our joined hands as we entered the room, but Luke seemed completely unconcerned.

"Sam, this is my mum, Angela. Mum, this is Sam." Finally he let go of my hand so I could offer it to Angela to shake.

Mrs. Walker was beautiful and it was easy to see where Luke got his looks from. She was almost as tall as him, and strands of her black hair escaped from the untidy pile on top of her head to frame her face. Her blue eyes were the exact shade of Luke's, and her flushed cheeks indicated some time spent cooking. She flashed me the same glorious smile I'd had from Luke countless times, and she shook my hand with a surprisingly firm grip.

"Hello, Sam, it's lovely to meet you. Are these for me?" She released my hand and took the flowers I offered. "Thanks so much, these are my favorites. You shouldn't have."

"It's my pleasure, Mrs. Walker."

"Angela," she corrected, and placed the flowers on the kitchen counter. "I'll put these in water in a minute. Luke's told me a lot about you."

"Has he?" I glanced anxiously at Luke and he grinned back.

"You're very dedicated at the gym, I hear. And looking after him when he had his phone stolen. Stupid boy shouldn't have been using it in the street, but still. That was sweet of you."

Luke flushed and grimaced.

"Anyone would have done the same." I felt embarrassed by the praise.

"No, they wouldn't." Angela opened the fridge and took out three cans of Diet Coke. "Why don't you have these and take one for Nick? Dinner will be about twenty minutes, okay?"

"Thanks, Mum." Luke took the drinks, passed one to me, and led me out of the room. "Now you get to meet my _terror of a brother_." He shouted the last few words as we entered the living room. A younger version of Luke turned to glare at his brother, then quickly switched his attention back to the TV as a game character fell to his knees with blood spurting from his mouth. The victor stood over him and punched the air.

"Shit, Luke, look what you made me do!"

"Don't swear, you brat. Mum'll have your guts. Switch that off and say hello to Sam. Dinner's nearly ready."

"Hello, Sam." Nick's gaze switched from his brother to me, swept down my body, and then his eyes widened. I wondered what he thought as he stared at me. He was probably surprised his brother would date someone twice his size.

"Hi, Nick." I risked a smile.

"Luke never shuts up about you." Nick grinned wickedly, his expression the image of Luke's when he was amused. "It's all, 'Sam went cycling with me today'; 'Sam had coffee with me at the gym'; 'Sam cooked me dinner'; 'Sam, Sam, Sam'. It's about time we got to meet you."

"He's said a lot about you too." I suppressed a snort of laughter with difficulty, while Luke snatched a cushion from a nearby armchair and tossed it at Nick's head. "Apparently you like to thrash people on your X-Box."

"You offering?"

"After dinner, Nick. Don't bug him," Luke protested.

"Okay." Nick nodded at me. "You, me, _Mortal Kombat,_ best out of three. After dinner. I guarantee you, I will beat you to a pulp."

"Nicholas Walker!" Angela scolded from the doorway. "What a way to speak to a guest!"

"It's okay, Angela." I smiled at her.

"I'll show you my room." Luke retreated into the hall and I followed quickly. We climbed the stairs and Luke pointed out the four doors on the landing, indicating which were the bedrooms and which the bathroom, should I need it. Then he pushed open a door and ushered me into his room.

The bed was a single bunk on stilts, with a computer desk underneath. The rest of the available space was taken up by a wardrobe, a chest of drawers, and lots of shelving piled high with books, DVDs, CDs, and general clutter. A small flat screen TV was mounted high on the wall opposite the bed.

"There's not much room and it's been the same since I was a teenager, but it'll do." Luke pulled out the chair from his desk and invited me to sit on it, while he dropped onto the carpet and sat cross-legged with his back against the wardrobe. "Sorry about my brother."

"It's fine. He's just like you."

Luke opened his mouth as if to protest, but grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I suppose. You know he's going to hold you to an ass-kicking contest later."

"I came prepared." I clenched my fists and punched an imaginary enemy. "Your mum's lovely."

"Yeah. I'm pretty lucky. Thanks for coming."

We stayed chatting in his room until Nick bellowed up the stairs that dinner was ready and that we should get our clothes back on. Luke opened the door just as Angela shouted back at Nick.

"Will you behave yourself? Stop trying to embarrass your brother!" She looked up as we plodded down the stairs. "I'm sorry, Sam. My youngest has no manners at all."

"Blame Luke. I just copy him." Nick rolled his eyes.

I was laughing by the time I sat down at the small square dining table in the corner of the living room. I felt relaxed and completely welcome as I joined in with the family's casual banter. We ate an Italian chicken dish with rice and salad, laughed at Nick's appalling jokes, and discussed mine and Luke's work. I even told Angela and Nick how I'd come to meet Luke, by joining the gym to lose excess weight. I felt no shame in telling them I'd lost more than half what I planned, and intended to keep up the good work until I reached my target. Angela praised my perseverance and explained she'd gained forty pounds when she was pregnant with Nick, and that it stuck with her for three years before she found the determination to do something about it.

After the meal, I accepted the _Mortal Kombat_ challenge from Nick and predictably was beaten to a pulp in the first two games, negating the need for a third.

"Loser! Loo-ooo-ser!" Nick exclaimed, in an excellent imitation of Jim Carrey.

"See what I have to put up with?" Luke grinned. He led me back upstairs and selected a CD for us to listen to.

I sat on the floor and leaned against the wardrobe the same way Luke had done earlier. He sat beside me and eventually straddled my lap so we could kiss and cuddle comfortably. I pushed him away a few inches before things grew too heated.

"What if your mum or your brother comes in?"

"They won't. My room's been off limits since I turned eighteen. I know I was away at uni for three years then, but when I came back, Mum's view was that I'm an adult and if I could afford it I'd have my own place. So my room should be treated as my own place. I do what I want up here so long as it doesn't involve anything illegal or dangerous. I don't think kissing you, or anything else we might do, is dangerous."

"Your mum's amazing. Mine would never have let me have a boy in my room. Or even a girl if I'd been straight." I relaxed and slid my arms around Luke. He shuffled closer again, until I felt his restrained erection nudge my stomach. He lowered his head to kiss me and as I tasted his mouth and squeezed his ass through his tight jeans, my cock swelled and pushed against my zipper. Luke groaned and slipped a hand between us to rub me through my pants.

"Can you be quiet?" he whispered.

"Oh God. We can't," I protested.

"No one will even come up here. And they certainly won't hear anything so long as we're not too loud. The music will cover us and Nick's making a lot of noise downstairs."

I listened for a second and immediately recognized the faint sound of shooting. My cock throbbed under Luke's palm and I pushed my worry aside. "Okay."

Luke slid off my lap and unfastened my trousers. He drew my erection out of my underwear and loosely curled his hand around it. Holding it upright, he bent and swiped his tongue over the tip.

"Fuck!" I gasped.

"Is this okay?"

"Mmm."

"It's been a long time since I did it. It probably won't be very good."

"Luke, anything you do with me is amazing."

He hesitated for a moment and carefully took the head of my cock into his mouth. I shuddered under the warm wet swipe of his tongue. Mark had sucked me two or three times at the beginning of our relationship, but then said he didn't really like doing it and would rather just be fucked. The times he'd done it he hadn't shown much enthusiasm, which wasn't the case with Luke.

I rolled my head back against the wardrobe door and tried to control my breathing as he stroked his hand up and down my shaft, following it with his mouth. Exploring with his tongue, he stroked the thick vein in my cock, and teased and nibbled around the head. He dipped into my slit, then drew me back into his mouth and sucked hard until his cheeks hollowed. Squirming and trembling, I clenched my fists. I moaned and whimpered helplessly, and lifted a hand to bite my thumb in an effort to stay quiet. When Luke dropped his head lower and took almost my whole length into his mouth, his throat tight around the head, I fought not to come. My balls pulled up against my body and my spine tingled.

"You'd better stop. I'm gonna—" I groaned as he sucked his way up and down my length one more time, then concentrated on the head.

"Luke..." I smothered a cry behind my hand as my cock jerked in his mouth and shot its load onto his tongue. He swallowed around me, stroking to tease out the last drops. He continued to lick me clean until I was forced to push him up and off me, my cock too sensitive to endure anymore.

"Was it okay?" He met my eyes, his expression anxious.

"Are you kidding me?"

"It was awful, wasn't it? I, um, I just need more practice."

"Hey." Still breathless, I reached for him and pulled him close. "How could you... think that was awful? It was... fucking amazing. You're amazing. I haven't come that hard in a long time."

"Really? I'm sorry. When I was with... well, he told me I was crap. He said the reason he cheated was he needed someone who knew what they were doing once in a while."

"I'm sorry." I tugged Luke onto my lap and held him tighter. "He was a dickhead. And a liar. You can practice any time you like, and not because you need it—because I loved it. Do you want me to do something for you?"

"Yeah, um, maybe in a little while." He slid off me and sat at my side. He was no longer hard. I tucked myself away and we listened to another CD and talked for a while instead, although my mind was partly on what he'd said to me.

It struck me that Luke had some very similar experiences to those I'd had. Mark and Jim seemed like the same kind of men, having put us down and made us feel small and useless. When Luke had first told me about Jim, I'd found it difficult to believe that someone so sweet and beautiful could have insecurities like my own. Because of that we understood each other and maybe that was what would make us work. Even my size didn't bother me so much anymore. Luke had made it clear he liked the man I was underneath, and in a few more months I knew I'd be where I wanted to be on the outside too. I had the confidence in myself that I could achieve what I intended, but even if I didn't, I wasn't afraid I'd lose Luke because of it.

"What are you thinking?" Luke leaned closer and ran his hand over my chest. "You're miles away."

"Oh, nothing important."

"You looked serious."

"It was just... we've got so much in common. When I first met you and you smiled, I'd daydream that you might smile at me because you liked me, and not just because I was a customer at the gym. I didn't believe it would ever be true."

"But it is." Luke frowned and slid his hand up to my neck. "You don't still worry about that, do you?"

"No, not really. I was just thinking you have the same kind of fears I do and it makes me feel closer to you."

Luke's frown vanished and his lips curved up at the corners. "Well, I can tell you, you have nothing to worry about. I really like you. You're exactly what I want."

My heart fluttered at his words, and I guided his lips to mine. I lost myself in the kiss, holding him close as I pressed our lips together and teased his tongue with my own. I stroked my hands up and down his back, then slipped one under his shirt to touch his warm skin. He shivered and moaned into my mouth, and when I moved my hand from his back to his hip, he grasped it in his and pushed it down between his legs. He was hard again, his erection trapped against his thigh. I pulled out of the kiss and lowered him onto his back on the carpet. He rose again a few inches, enough to take his shirt off before he lay back with his hands at his sides.

Bending over him, I placed a light kiss on his lips before I made my way down his body. I kissed and nibbled his neck, then moved to one of his nipples. I sucked it into a firm nub, then gave the other the same attention. When I kissed a path down the center of his chest and over his stomach, the muscles jumped under my touch. I paused in my ministrations and unzipped his impossibly tight jeans. He lifted his ass as I tugged at them and I took the opportunity to pull his briefs down at the same time, removing both items completely along with his socks.

Luke lay there naked, relaxed apart from his erection which twitched impatiently against his belly. His foreskin had rolled back to expose his flushed and leaking tip. I groaned at the sight of him and bent again to place a kiss on the head of his cock. I slid my tongue out and swirled it around, tasting precome, and carefully sucked him into my mouth. He moaned loudly and quickly smothered the sound with a hand.

I released him, rolled onto my knees, and guided his legs apart so I could position myself between them. He spread himself wide and drew his knees up, and for a moment I just looked at him. His balls were drawn up the way mine had been, mere seconds after he'd started touching me. I looked down at the puckered area surrounding his anus and I wanted to put my finger inside while I sucked him. My spent cock filled again as I imagined how hot and tight he'd feel.

I wrapped my hand around his cock and took the head into my mouth. Mark had criticized me for my lack of skills when it came to blowjobs, the same way Luke's ex had. But I wasn't concerned Luke would do the same. I began tentatively, the same way he had with me. I stroked with my hand and licked at the thick vein in the underside of his shaft. Drawing the head into my mouth, I flicked my tongue around the crown and sucked hard while I caressed and squeezed his balls with my free hand. He writhed and trembled beneath me, muffling his sounds of pleasure behind his hand. I let him slip from my mouth and moistened my index finger with saliva, then stroked back and forth over his hole as I resumed sucking him.

"Please, Sam," he whispered.

I pulled off his cock again with a slurp. "Inside?"

"Yeah."

I pressed the tip of my finger against the puckered flesh and he moaned as I entered his tight heat. I guided his cock back into my mouth and slowly pushed my finger deeper.

"Oh fuck!" Luke clenched around my digit and his shaft pulsed in my hand. I swallowed hard as he flooded my mouth with come. When I lifted my head, grinning and licking my lips, he groaned and covered his eyes with his hand. "Sorry. I hoped I'd last a bit longer than that."

Chuckling, I carefully withdrew my finger. "I'm not complaining. It just means I'll have to practice _a lot_ , to see how long you can last."

Luke pushed himself upright and shuffled closer, legs spread out either side of me. Still breathless, he kissed me lightly on the lips, then rested his head against my shoulder.

"That was so good. Too good. I wanted to scream."

"Good job you didn't. Even _Mortal Kombat_ wouldn't have drowned you out."

"God, I'd never hear the end of it. Mum is pretty tolerant and I'm sure she knows we'll get up to something, but making it obvious when my brother's in the house wouldn't go down well." He pulled away from me and grabbed for his clothes. When he was dressed again, he sat down close to me.

"So, do you want to do this again?" I nudged him with my elbow. I felt confident of what the answer would be.

"That's a silly question, Sam. How about, _when_ do you want to do this again?"

"Okay, when? Saturday night? Sunday?"

"Both?" Luke kissed my cheek and I slid my arm around him.

"I think I could fall for you, Luke Skywalker." There was no "think" about it. I knew I was falling for him; in fact I was well on the way to being in love with him, but I thought it was too soon to say it. Maybe another week or two and I'd tell him how I felt.

"I could fall for you too, Sam. Am falling." The last two words were the faintest whisper, but I heard them and I squeezed him tighter in the circle of my arm. I'd found much more than I anticipated when I joined the gym. I'd found myself when my confidence began to return, but now I'd found love too, and it was everything I'd dreamed of.

### About the Author

Louise Lyons comes from a family of writers. Her mother has a number of poems published in poetry anthologies, her aunt wrote poems for the church, and her grandmother sparked her inspiration with tales of fantasy. Louise first ventured into writing short stories at the grand old age of eight, mostly about little girls and ponies. She branched into romance in her teens, and MM romance a few years later, but none of her work saw the light of day until she discovered FanFiction in her late twenties.

Posting stories based on some of her favorite movies, provoked a surprisingly positive response from readers. This gave Louise the confidence to submit some of her work to publishers, and made her take her writing "hobby" more seriously.

Louise lives in the UK, about an hour north of London, with a mad Dobermann, and a collection of tropical fish and tarantulas. She works in the insurance industry by day, and spends every spare minute writing. She is a keen horse-rider, and loves to run long-distance. Some of her best writing inspiration comes to her, when her feet are pounding the open road. She often races into the house afterward, and grabs pen and paper to make notes.

Louise has always been a bit of a tomboy, and one of her other great loves is cars and motorcycles. Her car and bike are her pride and joy, and she loves to exhibit the car at shows, and take off for long days out on the bike, with no one for company but herself.

### Contact Louise

Facebook: www.facebook.com/louiselyonsauthor

Twitter: www.twitter.com/louiselyons013

Blog: www.louiselyonsauthor.wordpress.com/

Email: louiselyons013@gmail.com

### Other Books by Louise

Conflicted

Second Bite of the Cherry

One Snowy Night

In Darkest Peru

The Eye of the Beholder

Beautiful Thunder

Finding Beck
