 
Who was Oreithyia?

The Barracuda Night Club Trilogy. Book No. 2

# By

# Vincent Gray

Copyright © 2017 Vincent Gray

Smashwords Edition

This book is a work of fiction. All the characters developed in this novel are fictional creations of the writer's imagination and are not modelled on any real persons. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 9781370240630

## Author Biography

As a son of a miner the author was born in Johannesburg, South Africa. He grew up in the East Rand mining town of Boksburg during the 1960s and matriculated from Boksburg High School. After high school he was conscripted into the South African Defence Force (SADF) for compulsory national military service at the age of seventeen. On completion of his military service he studied courses in Zoology, Botany and Microbiology at the University of the Witwatersrand. After graduating with a BSc honours degree he worked for a short period for the Department of Agriculture in Potchefstroom as an agronomist. Following the initial conscription into military service in the SADF, like all other white South African males of his generation, he was then drafted into one of the many South African Citizen Military Regiments. During the 1970s he was called up as a citizen-soldier to do three-month military camps on the 'Border' which was the operational theatre of the so-called counter insurgency 'Bush War' during the Apartheid years. Before and in between university studies he also worked as a wage clerk on the South African Railways and as a travelling chemical sales representative. The author is now a retired professor whose career as an academic in the Biological Sciences has spanned a period of thirty-three years mainly at the University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg, South Africa. Before retirement he lectured and carried out research in the field of molecular biology with a special interest in the molecular basis of evolution. He continues to pursue his interest in evolutionary biology. Other interests which the author pursues includes radical theology, philosophy and literature.

eBooks by Vincent Gray also available on Smashwords as Free Downloads

The Girl from Reiger Park -The Barracuda Night Club Trilogy. Book No.1

Who was Oreithyia? -The Barracuda Night Club Trilogy. Book No.2

The Barracuda Night Club Mystery - The Barracuda Night Club Trilogy. Book No. 3

The Girl from Germiston

The Tale of the Sakabula Bird

Rebekah of Lake Sibaya

Segomotso and the Dressmaker

Devorah's Prayer

Farewell to Innocence: The full uncensored saga of Hannah Zeeman

Send Him My Love (Short Story)

Three Days in Phoenix (Short Story)

The Soccer Player (Short Story)

Raghavee: The Immoral House Keeper (Short Story)

Waterlandsridge (Novella)

The Man with no Needs

Hotazel: Journal Writings of a Lipstick Lesbian

The Wind Blows and the River Flows (Novella)

Metamorphosis (Novella)

The Black Maid from Ikageng: An African Novella

The Model from Senegal (Novella)

## To Melodie and Ruth

1

Sitting at her desk she turned her head and glanced over her shoulder at the clock next to the lamp on her bedside pedestal. It was almost 9.00 pm. It was yet another typically hot and dusty February evening. Both bedroom windows were wide open. Now that the season was approaching the autumnal equinox the nightly anuran chorus had faded to the single odd unseasonal croak of some lone frog on the shores of Cinderella Dam. Outside her window in the flower bed a single cricket chirped. She waited for the frog to start again. Instead a lone tettigoniid perched on some leafy branch started its distinctive high pitched trill. She learnt from Aaron that tettigoniids or long horned grasshoppers were bright green grasshoppers that had a leaf-like appearance and belonged to the family called the Tettigoniidae. Aaron could identify an insect or a frog from the sound of its chirping or croaking. Now she could also tell the difference between the chirping made by a cricket and a long horned grasshopper. Both made their distinctive chirps through the process of stridulation.

More than a year had already passed and yet it felt like just yesterday that she had asked Aaron who Oreithyia was? The nocturnal sounds of the crickets chirping and the frogs croaking always made her think of Oreithyia. After she and Aaron had skinny dipped in the moonlight they had sat in his car listening to the night sounds. The chirping of the crickets and the croaking of the frogs grew louder and louder, the recollection of the sounds of courtship that night was still registered vividly in her mind. She had just finished high school. She was standing on the threshold of a new life. She felt so free that night.

It was an awesome December night. They had come so close to making love. She looked up from her philosophy study guide which lay open on her desk and wondered what it would have been like if they had made love in the moonlight on the grassy shores of Cinderella Dam.

2

"Who is Oreithyia?"

Her question came unexpectedly out of the blue. While he was treading water in the channel by the beach she had heard what he had said. It struck her now that it had been quite a strange thing to ask.

"In Greek mythology Oreithyia was initially a mortal princess," he later told her.

She was intrigued.

"What happened to Oreithyia?"

"Oreithyia was abducted from the banks of the Ilissus by Boreas. The Ilissus is a stream outside the city of Athens. While Phaedrus and Socrates were walking barefoot in the Ilissus in the heat of the midday sun, they arrived at an idyllic grassy pastoral setting close to some tall plane trees growing on the banks of the stream. Phaedrus thought that the spot was an eminently suitable place where they could sit and talk. He also thought that the spot was close to the place where Oreithyia had been abducted. "

Geraldine listened while resting her head against Aaron shoulder.

"An idyllic grassy pastoral setting close to some tall plane trees, that is a description which sounds a lot like Cinderella Dam" she chuckled softly.

"Yes you right, Plato's Phaedrus is unusual in that he had gone to some trouble in providing a really vivid description of a pastoral scene or an arbour, or of a bower if you like, as the dramatic background for the encounter between Phaedrus and Socrates."

"What do you mean by an arbour or a bower?"

"A clump of trees surrounding an open space could function as an arbour or a bower. The shelter of the blue gum trees behind us can work topographically as an arbour or bower for us tonight if you wish?" Aaron smiled.

"Oh that is so romantic, a blue gum tree bower for lovers on the shores of Cinderella Dam under a perfect full moon, nogal (on top of everything else)."

"Nogal?" Aaron repeated with a chuckle.

'Yes, my Afrikaans has improved. I live in a Coloured 'location', you know."

"Is Reiger Park a location?" He asked rhetorically.

"I would say so," she replied, smiling at the irony of her admission.

"Isn't there also a bird called a Bower Bird?" she suddenly remembered, changing the subject.

"Yes you are right there is such bird," he answered.

"And the male builds a kind of decorated structure to entice the female, if I am correct?" she said.

"That's right," he replied.

They sat in silence for a while. She had a soft dreamy look on her face.

"Tell me about the abduction of Oreithyia."

"In Plato's book the Phaedrus, Socrates first informs Phaedrus that Oreithyia was actually abducted at another spot further downstream."

"What happened?"

"Well Phaedrus was also interested in the tale about Oreithyia's abduction. He wanted to know whether Socrates believed in the tales of her abduction."

"What did Socrates think about the tales?"

"He had a rational explanation for the incident. He said that the North Wind blew Oreithyia off the rocks while she was playing with Pharmaceia and that her dying in this way was the origin of the legend that she was abducted and raped by Boreas."

"Who was Pharmaceia?"

"Pharmaceia was a nymph living in a poisonous stream or rock pool near the river Ilissus. Boreas was a kind of god, the god of the North Wind. He was the god of the icy North Wind that in winter blew down the northern mountains. I think the Ilissus was renowned for its purity, or maybe I am guessing, I can't remember."

"What else did Plato say in the Phaedrus?"

"Well, Plato's Phaedrus is essentially a dramatic dialogue between Phaedrus and Socrates that was prompted by a speech on love which had been composed by a person called Lysias, who was a visiting sophist. The focus of Plato's Phaedrus was the meaning of love, or passionate love in the form of the Greek idea of Eros. The Phaedrus addresses other related topics as well. Another great dramatic dialogue on love occurs in Plato's Symposium. In fact, the dramatic dialogues on love in the Symposium were also prompted by Phaedrus. It was ironical in the way that Socrates claimed to be an expert on the topic of love," he elaborated.

"So Plato's Symposium and Phaedrus are books about love?" Geraldine asked.

"Yes in a fashion both books were written as a celebration of love or Eros. Generally it has been recognized that Plato's Phaedrus stands supreme in the canon of Western Literature as one of the most sublime discourses on love ever composed."

"What about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?" She asked.

"Together Romeo and Juliet and the Phaedrus stand supreme in the canons of Western Literature on Eros and love."

"Well what did Plato say about love in the Phaedrus?"

"Unlike the story of love in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet both Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium involve dramatic dialogues on the meaning of love that culminates in the celebration of a kind of heavenly de-eroticization of Eros. Apparently, the ultimate goal of Eros involves the pure contemplation of the Form or Idea of Beauty. But the attainment of this goal necessarily involves the denigration of the body as a condition for the liberation of the soul."

"De-eroticization of Eros! Denigration of the body! Why? How can there be love or Eros without a body or mind without a body? How did you get to know all this stuff about Plato," she exclaimed, raising her eyebrows in wonder.

"It is a long story with many twists and turns. I know it sounds really weird to talk about Plato, but my interest in Plato started by sheer accident. First my sister and her friends starting talking regularly about Plato in a light hearted manner, but even though their banter was funny it was intellectually challenging and got me interested. And then when I was in standard six we began to learn about the ancient Greeks in our history class. I became intrigued with Socrates when we were told that he was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock for corrupting the youth of Athens and for impiety. After school I went to the history teacher I told her that I was interested in finding out more about Socrates. She was very surprised when I pitched up wanting know more about Socrates. It was the first time in her teaching career that a pupil had come to her after school expressing an interest in Socrates. She was thrilled and immediately started talking enthusiastically about the Greeks, Plato and Aristotle and so on. She said that Plato was one of the greatest philosophers and Socrates was his teacher. She said I should go see whether the Boksburg Library had any books on Plato. So after school I went straight away to the library in Leeupoort Street which was on the way home. I searched the catalogues and the shelves. There was nothing by Plato on the library shelves. I then went to the librarian and told her that I was interested in books by Plato. To my surprise she began to phone other municipal libraries. After a few calls she put down the telephone receiver and announced she could get two titles for me, Plato's Phaedrus and the Symposium. So my reading of Plato and Greek philosophy started with those two books."

"My father is always harping on that we need to study and learnt stuff that is practical and useful. Do you really believe that is worthwhile in this modern day and age to study Plato? What possible relevance could Plato have now in 1965 in Boksburg?" She asked with a teasing and mischievous look on her face.

"Well, why should anyone study Plato? The answer to that question is the same as the answer for why should anyone want to study the Bible in 1965, especially when it was written more than 2000 years ago? We study the Bible and we study Plato so that we can improve our lives," Aaron replied.

After a moments reflection he added:

"Reading Plato has actually enriched my life, just like learning to do the Tango has enriched my life. I don't think I will ever stop reading Plato, nor will I ever want to stop dancing the Tango with you."

"Studying Plato and dancing the Tango, I like that, it appeals to me," she said.

"I can understand wanting to dance the Tango over and over again for forever, but how can anyone in their right mind want to read the same book over and over again," she laughed.

"Well don't we read the Bible over and over again?" He asked.

"Oh I didn't think of that. You have a point; maybe there are some books which no one can ever finish reading. I agree that the Bible is inexhaustible because it is the Word of God and because it is the Word of God there can never be a final reading or a consummation of reading. Are you saying that like the Bible there is also no end to the reading of Plato, and that one can never get to the bottom of what Plato is saying because his work is also in its own way inexhaustible?" She asked.

"That is exactly what I am saying. And this idea can be applied not only to the writings of Plato or the Bible, but to all writing, especially if it is good literature. All good writing is inexhaustible. This is what makes literature different from mere pulp fiction. With good literature there can be no end to the reading of a good book, there can never ever be a consummation of reading, if it happens to be a book of great literally merit, and so there can be no final reading of any good book as you put it. And it is also true that there can be no final reading of the Bible, which means we can never really know what the Bible or Plato has to say about what is ultimately sayable in all of its finality," he said.

"What do you mean by pulp fiction?" She asked.

"In the 1930s and 1940s in America, with the increasing levels of literacy, there was a massive proliferation in the production of reading material in the form of popular fiction, magazines and comics that were printed on cheap pulp paper," he answered.

"So the paperbacks sold at the CNA and cafés are also pulp fiction?" She asked.

"I suppose so. During high school I was addicted to pulp fiction. I must have read two books a week. I read everything that was available, all the detective stories, westerns and James Bond books, everything I could get my hands on I read. But I would never dream of reading any of those books more than once. I would never study those books by carefully re-reading them because they are pulp fiction and not genuine literature, you can't re-read them, there is nothing to gain from re-reading them, they were not written to be re-read by the same reader," he said laughing.

"What makes a book genuine literature?" Geraldine asked.

"It becomes genuine literature when the reading of its writings is inexhaustible and you feel compelled to re-read the book and study it, especially when you realize that there is a bottomless depth to good writing, like with Plato or the Bible, so for some books there is no end to their reading, we can read the same book a thousand times, and still never get to the bottom of it," he answered.

"What was it that you wanted to say about Plato's dramatic dialogues?" She asked, realizing that they had drifted away from their initial topic of conversation.

"I wanted to say that the interpretation of everything that was said in the dramatic dialogue that took place between Phaedrus and Socrates represents a good example of writing that is practically inexhaustible with respect to the meaning of each word and each sentence. It seems that the interpretation of Plato's Phaedrus will never be finalized; it will go on and on forever. Each new reader will read something different, will find something different and possibly even something new. This is what makes Plato such a genius. Take for the example the opening line of the Phaedrus. When Socrates sees Phaedrus he asks, 'Where have you come from, my dear Phaedrus, and where are you going?' You can write several pages on interpreting the meaning of this apparently simple question."

"Well where was Phaedrus coming from and where was he going?" Geraldine asked.

"He had spent the whole morning listening to the speech that Lysias had written and when Socrates saw Phaedrus walking through the streets of Athens, Phaedrus was on his way to take a walk in the country side outside the city walls so that he could read the speech aloud to himself. He had obtained a written copy of Lysias speech."

"And who was Lysias?" She asked.

"Lysias was a famous professional speech writer or logographer and sophist who lived in the time of Plato. As logographer he wrote speeches for clients, speeches for orators and possibly also for litigants, who would use the speeches in court trials."

"What is a sophist?"

"In terms of my own understandings sophists were men who made a living by teaching the skills, techniques and methods for formulating persuasive or convincing arguments. They were dialecticians and rhetoricians, that is, people who taught rhetoric and dialectics. A man called Protagoras was one the most famous sophists. Plato's book called the Protagoras is a good book to read to get some ideas about what sophists do."

"I am going to drive you mad tonight, what is rhetoric and dialectics?" She asked.

"Rhetoric is the art and technique of persuasion and dialectics involves application of reason and logic to resolve conflicting points of view in an argument. Dialectics involves the application of reason in developing concepts, in this sense dialectical reasoning is different from inductive reasoning and deductive reasoning. In the Phaedrus Socrates refers to a person who practices dialectics as a dialectician. Socrates describes a dialectician as someone who is able to perceive which individual entities share similar properties and which can therefore be grouped naturally together on the basis of their similarities into the same class or set which he calls the ONE, and the class or the ONE can in turn be divided into its many different members or elements which may be referred to as the MANY. So I suppose dialectics deals with the relations between the ONE and the MANY. So in this sense dialectics involves the application of reason in developing the concept of something, which can also be likened to developing the idea of the essential nature of something, this is what dialectics involves and that is why dialectics is involved in resolving the problem of the ONE and the MANY. The MANY are the species or elements and the ONE is the class or set containing the species or elements, respectively, depending on how you want to look at it. "

"So both rhetoric and dialectics are persuasive methods of argumentation that are used to persuade or convince?" She asked.

"Yes, I suppose so, that is sort of what they involve, more or less. I don't think it is inaccurate to say that they both involve similar methods of persuasion. Dialectics involves arguments that appeal to reason whereas rhetoric uses arguments that appeal to the emotions."

"I take it then that the purpose of Lysias speech was about persuasion?"

"Yes, Lysias speech according to Phaedrus' opinion apparently contained a very persuasive and appealing argument for the acceptance of the most bizarre proposal imaginable. It is the kind of speech that would definitely appeal to the most unscrupulous pickup artist who disguised in the clothes of an ordinary school teacher prowls the ancient streets of the city of Athens in search of sex with beautiful adolescent school boys who may be in need of a mentor or a teacher. Phaedrus was obviously more than just a bit tickled by the sheer calculating audacity of Lysias' speech."

Geraldine looked puzzled.

"I don't understand," she said.

"Lysias' speech is about how to persuade a boy to surrender sexual favours to an older man, possibly someone who would be a mentor and teacher of boys. If the speech was sufficiently persuasive then on hearing the speech, sexual favours would be surrendered by the boy without any strings attached, that is without the emotional complications associated with the reciprocal intimacy of genuine love that is normal for a meaningful romantic entanglement, in other words the point of the speech was to persuade the boy with apparently compelling arguments and reasons to participate in unfettered-unromantic-loveless sex with an older man. In other words, consensual sex with no strings attached, no obligations, no expectations."

"Is this sick joke? Are you having me on?"

"No not at all, I am as serious as ever," Aaron said, failing to suppress a grin that felt as uncontrollable as a yawn.

"I can see from that broad grin on your face that you are not serious."

"No honest, I am very serious, you will see for yourself, I going to give you a copy of Plato's Phaedrus, you can read it for yourself and come to your own conclusions about whether my interpretation is right or wrong," he said.

"As you will find out for yourself when you read the book, Lysias in the speech that he composed does in fact make a very strange and possibly indecent proposal. The purpose of the speech can be construed as a manual on how to succeed in a carrying out a loveless act of seduction for the sake of physical pleasure without attachments or obligation, but based on reciprocal consent between the two partners. In reality this kind of speech would probably have been written for a paying client who would read the speech in some appropriate situation in which he would want to influence some kind of beneficial outcome in his favour. We can imagine that in Plato's Phaedrus the speech could have been written for an older man who would use the speech to seduce a beautiful boy in a pedagogical setting of teaching and learning. In this situation there would be an erotic dimension to teaching and learning," Aaron said smiling

"Well that is a new one for me, who would have thought that there could be an erotic dimension to teaching and learning. OK so tell me about Lysias' speech I am listening, with all ears, erotic ears" she said, laughing.

3

Before Aaron could reply she interrupted him.

"But first I want know to whether these kinds of relationship between men and boys were actually normal in ancient Athens. How prevalent was this kind of thing? Did it only happen in ancient Greece? I have never heard of this kind of thing before. I can't imagine any kind of arrangement in the modern world whereby men can have sex with adolescent boys. It is illegal, I am sure of that. In South Africa if a man is caught having sex with a boy he will go to jail. I am sure that this applies for any other place in the world. I don't think it is allowed anywhere in the world, it is not natural, it is sodomy," she said.

"OK before we speak about Lysias' speech and Socrates' response to the speech we need to know something about the kinds of romantic relations that were actually quite prevalent in Athens during those times, and viewed as normal. Sex between men and boys was considered normal in ancient Greece. Romance in ancient Greece was very different from the kinds of romantic relationships that we read about in Shakespeare or in Mills and Boons, for that matter," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"In ancient Athens sexual customs were very different compared to what we consider as normal today. It was pretty much normal for many male members of the Athenian social upper classes to have sexual relations even when they were married with males and other females. In addition, the hierarchical organization of Greek society was also very different from what we see in the modern Western world of today. In the ancient city-states of Greece, only adult free men had full democratic rights. In the city-state, all free men were recognized as equals. Being full citizens of a democratic city-state made them free men. Women, children and slaves did not have the status of being full citizens nor could they ever become full citizens. It was actually inconceivable that they could ever become full citizens. It was also inconceivable that they could be free in the same way that adult male citizens were free. It was perfectly natural for women, children and slaves to be excluded from the society of free men. Slavery was considered a natural human condition or social institution, part of the natural ordering of human social relations. A slave could never become a full citizen. The inferior status of slaves, women and children was viewed as a perfectly natural ordering of human social rank. It was not considered morally wrong in any sense. Slavery as a fact of life was never questioned, it was never perceived as being morally reprehensible. Slavery was actually a very ancient social institution. A slave-free world was inconceivable, it could not even be imagined I suppose. For them the idea of there being no slaves was absurd. The idea of universal human rights would have sounded absurd to the citizens of Athens."

"It all sounds very much like apartheid," she said.

"Yes, possibly in some respects. The majority of white South Africans do not perceive apartheid as being morally wrong. If the ancient Greeks could accept slavery as a natural state of affairs, then I suppose it is conceivable that Plato would have accepted a form of apartheid as a natural way to order people, based on differences. Social segregation and discrimination of individuals on the basis of social rank was pretty much normal in ancient civilizations," Aaron said.

"So are you implying that apartheid and slavery are natural social institutions because both share ancient similarities?" Geraldine asked.

"No ways! I believe in the exact opposite. My idea of man's natural social state if I can use this as a concept is quite radical. I am convinced on the basis of evolution and biology that a very strong case can be made that the most natural social state of man is one of radical equality, in which all men and women are equally free to the same degree."

"What relevance has all of this to with Lysias' speech?" Geraldine asked.

"OK, now let me see, we have gone slightly off track. In the context of Athenian society in the period between 364 and 372 BC when Plato wrote the Phaedrus the kind of speech that Lysias wrote would be have been inconceivable in the context of heterosexual love between a man and a woman, especially if we keep in mind the status of women in Athens," he said.

"Why was that?" She asked.

"In Plato's universe the only kind of love that could transcend the earth bound sensual desire for beautiful physical bodies was the homosexual love between two men. Only this form of love could undergo a transformation into the heavenly philosophical love of the idea of beauty. It was only in the context of homosexual love between two men that lovers could climb the ladder of Eros or love to heaven."

All this time Aaron had struggled to keep a straight face as he watched Geraldine's brow crease in disbelief.

"Did Plato say anything about physical beauty in relation to the bodies of women?" She asked.

"No I don't think so," Aaron said with an amused smile.

"So Lysias' letter was a love letter between two men?" Geraldine asked.

Aaron laughed at how absurd it sounded coming from Geraldine.

"Not quite, I will get to that," he answered.

"Well what did the ancient Greeks actually think about the bodies of women?" Geraldine inquired.

"In Greek myths, we discover what the ancient Greeks thought about the bodies of women. To begin with, a world without women did dominate the imagination of the Greek male mind. Greek mythology dreams of a womanless world," Aaron said, he could not avoid laughing again, because of the incredulous-comic expression on Geraldine's face.

"How can there be men in a womanless world? How can there be men without the bodies of women?" Geraldine exclaimed with a look of exaggerated comic-incomprehension playing on her face.

"In their idea of a womanless world, the bodies of women would become superfluous with regard to the reproduction of man," Aaron replied.

"How can humanity be conceived without the bodies of women?" She wanted know.

"Well it was believed that the bodies of women did not play a direct role in conception," he said.

"How is that possible?"

"The Greeks used the argument that the ground or earth does not conceive the plant. The conception of a plant is a direct result of the sowing of a seed into the ground," he said.

"So a woman's body is just ground or earth," Geraldine replied, with the amused smirk coming back to her face.

"Yes. Well let me clarify a bit more. The role and significance of the woman's body in reproduction was really quite ambiguous and complicated in the ancient world. Many symbols or metaphors refer directly to a woman's body as a fertile but 'eggless' body. A woman's body was fertile to receive seed, like the earth was fertile to receive the seed of the sower. This is even evident in the Bible also, especially in the Song of Songs. For example, the idea of the garden, the vineyard or the field are all used as metaphors when referring to the role of a woman's body in sex and reproduction or in the generation of life. All of these metaphors which have been used in the symbolization of a woman's body exemplify or symbolize the idea of earth, the passivity of earth with respect to the seed, the earth is a passive receptacle for the life giving seed, and the earth in itself does not give rise to life. The bodies of women thus represent the earth into which men sow their life giving seed. The seed of men is the source of all human life. Men ploughed the bodies of women in the same way that a farmer must first plough the ground to make it ready before sowing the seed."

"So the Greeks were unaware of the fact that the body of a woman produces an egg and that without the egg nothing can come from the seed of men," she said.

"Yes that's right," he answered.

"So a woman's body is just a receptacle like ploughed ground for the seed of men?" She asked, with a grave expression on her face, coloured with disbelief.

"Yes in the Greek and possibly also in the Biblical view of women,"

"So figuratively speaking a man ploughs the woman's body when he has sex with her?" She said.

"Precisely," Aaron answered with a sheepish grin on his face.

"So women are nothing!"

"In the ancient patriarchical universe, the answer is yes!"

"So everyone supposedly descends directly from the seed of man with no contribution coming from the mother in the form of her egg?" She said.

"Yes, but allow me to expand."

"I hereby allow you to expand further on this absurd topic," she smiled in the dark, no longer looking so grave and disturbed.

"OK, the Athenians believed that they descended from Erichthonius who was born not directly from his mother Athena but from the earth. Athena the goddess of war asked Hephaestus the Olympian blacksmith to make her a set of weapons. When she wanted to pay him, he told her not worry, he would do it for love. While she was watching him make the weapons, he tried rape her. But after a great struggle she managed to tear herself free and Hephaestus' seed rained onto soil of Athens. Therefore, instead of inseminating Athena he ended up fertilizing the soil of Athens. In addition, as consequence of this the earth gave birth to the boy Erichthonius. Even though Athena remained a virgin, she was considered in Greek mythology to be the mother of Erichthonius. However, her motherhood remained ambiguous. The first Athenian, a boy, had only a father and no mother. Athenians have descended not from a mother and father but only from a single person, a father. As a consequence of this all male Athenians were taken to be brothers in a literal sense," Aaron elaborated.

"So basically in ancient Greece women were viewed as inferior beings?" she said.

"Yes, but not only in ancient Greece, but also in the entire ancient world. There has always being an anti-female bias in the ancient world."

"So the world has always been and will continue to be misogynistic?" she said.

"Yes."

"Then how can Plato be such a great philosopher if he has such a low opinion of women? He has done nothing for the progress of civilization if he cannot appreciate how wonderful women really are?" She responded.

"I personally don't agree with Plato on everything, especially when it comes to his views on women. I think women are really in charge, or to put it in another way, the female sex is playing a more decisive role in shaping the biological world than what male humans would like to believe, and because of this reality men have sought to subjugate women from time immemorial " he said.

"What did Plato actually say about women?" She wanted to know.

"In his work called the Timaeus Plato describes the creation of men and women. Men were created first, they were the first generation of humans. The soul was implanted into the bodies of men and all men were initially equal as a race of superior beings, like a race of rational supermen. However, the implantation of a soul into the bodies of men also gave them the faculties of sensation, and with the faculties of sensation, feelings such as love, desire, fear and anger became possible. Men who were able to conquer and control the bodily passions of love, desire, fear and anger, lived courageous, moral, righteous and upright lives. Men who were unable to control their passions of love, fear, desire and anger began to live unrighteous lives and because of this became transformed into women. In this scheme of creation woman are the second generation of human being and represent the second sex, which is the female sex. Women are slaves to their bodily passions and bodily desires, because they are unable to control their feelings of love, fear, desire and anger. They are under the control of their bodily sensations. According to Plato, women are ruled by their sensual desires and appetites," Aaron explained.

"Well I completely disagree with Plato. After hearing all of this I have decided to take philosophy as one of my Unisa subjects just to prove that women can also think. This story of women being the weaker -sex reminds of a Franciscan Priest who gave a series of talks to our parish about Saint Paul. Saint Paul was not a misogynist. The Priest said there is no compelling and substantive evidence that Saint Paul hated women or thought that women were inferior to men. This is a false teaching, which is based on a complete miscomprehension of what Paul was really saying in his epistles. Anyway, take the example of Mother Mary and the Way of Mary as taught in our Church shows that all women are to be loved, protected, honoured and respected as equals who are not inferior to men in any way." she said.

They sat in the car and talked until about 12.00 before Aaron dropped Geraldine off at her home.

Since that night a full year and a few months had passed in a flash. Three years ago they met for the first time on the veranda of Patel's shop in Kalamazoo.

Kalamazoo seemed such an odd name for an Indian shanty town.

4

It was late. She decided to call it day. Closing the study guide, she got and went to the bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth, climbed into bed and switched off the bedside lamp.

Geraldine had stuck to her decision to take philosophy as one of her university courses. Now in the first year of her degree by correspondence at the University of South Africa (UNISA or Unisa) she registered had for modules in English, Spanish, Biblical Studies and Philosophy. She was not yet sure what her majors were going to be. On the advice of Aaron she selected the modules that covered Descartes, Locke, Berkley and Hume.

Cloistered in her tiny room seven nights a week, she worked diligently at her desk on the Unisa assignments. Whenever an opportunity arose, she would alert Aaron in the usual manner so that they could enjoy an illicit rendezvous.

In spite of her situation, that is, having practically no social life with any of her township peers, she never felt horribly bored or frightfully sad; she was now a woman focused on the mission of immigration, on the mission to escape from apartheid, they had to escape from South Africa, to start a new life, to live a decent life, in a new culture, speaking a new language. Aaron had not shown any resistance to her idea about leaving South Africa. She could sense that he had undergone an inward migration from South Africa; he was 'de-assimilating', sloughing off his previous life. She knew he was paying the emotional and psychological price of living a double life, of living a secret life. They were both paying a stiff price, their illicit relationship, a crime in the eyes of the State, was beginning to exact a toll on both of them. But there was no going back. Now her studies were her alibi for her reclusivety, for her solitariness. She could disguise her double life by burying herself in her studies. Her room, her books, her study guides, her desk and her inflexible routine provided her with the escape she needed, it served as her a refuge from her own family. She embraced her solitude. Aaron was all she needed. Her total commitment to her studies was not seen by her family as an unnatural withdrawal, as something antisocial, but as sacrificial dedication to the higher purpose of self-education and self-improvement.

She paid for her lodging. She had made it clear that she could not hold down a full-time job and still study if it was expected that she should still perform domestic chores in the home. So her parents as was typical for most middleclass coloured families hired a domestic servant who travelled from Vosloorus to work three days a week in their home and two days a week in another coloured home in Reiger Park. She joked with Aaron that they had become a middleclass family even under apartheid.

But she did not aspire to become a middleclass coloured woman. She wanted to become another kind of woman, the Tango woman of the milonga, the Latina woman, who was fluent in Spanish, fluent enough for them to start a new life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She wanted them both to become South American Latinos. To slough off apartheid so they could emerge with new identities, like a beautiful chrysalis from its pupa. And she wanted Aaron to become fluent in Spanish. So she took it upon herself to also teach Aaron whatever Spanish she happened to be learning. Every second day or so she posted a new Spanish lesson for Aaron to study. A lesson rolled up into a tube of white paper which she carefully inserted into the hole that Aaron had bored into the trunk of the blue gum tree.

She closed her eyes and fell almost immediately into a deep sleep.

5

Before sunrise the residents of the smog shrouded location of Vosloorus stirred from their slumber. Having no control over the material conditions that governed their existence they trudged in silence past the towering flood lights that lit up the road to the bus terminus. In the predawn darkness the blazing beams of bus headlights sliced and carved away at the retreating night which had begun its westward march, retreating across the rolling swells of the vast Atlantic Ocean to seek refuge in South America as the waves crashed along its eastern shores under a rising new moon.

An ever expanding Vosloorus was steadily and stealthily encroaching onto the boundaries of the small holdings owned by white landholders. The streets of Stirtonville, the old location in Boksburg, now existed only as a fading memory in the minds of the old people. Vosloorus was rapidly becoming the familiar home for a new generation of young black township dwellers.

From Vosloorus convoys of black diesel-fume belching buses coated in thick layers of fine red dust ferried battalions of workers to the East Rand Railway Station bus terminus. The dark green buses which belonged to the Public Utility Transport Corporation were commonly referred to by everyone as the PUTCO buses.

Rumbling out of the black township of Vosloorus the stream of PUTCO buses first turned right onto the main Johannesburg-Durban road which ran past Flanagan's garage. Heading south the bus swung sharply left, this time at the T-junction turn-off at Flanagan's garage.

Flanagan's garage, a well-known land mark, stood next the T-junction at the summit of a bult (hill) which rose gently from the wide shallow valley that had been carved over millennia by the small Rietspruit stream that meandered peacefully across the grassland plains. Descending into the valley from the summit of the bult the main road cut through Boksburg peri-urban agricultural districts of Mapleton and Waterslands. Beyond the Rietspruit to south lay the chain of hills of the Suikerbosrand, and nestled behind the Suikerbosrand lay the small town of Heidelberg. The source of water for Rietspruit came from the overflows decanting from the interconnected string of dams and lakes located in Benoni. The Rietspruit flows into the Klip River catchment. Ultimately all the streams and rivers flowing southwards into the Klip River catchment had their origins in the Witwatersrand range of hills which ran west to east from Krugersdorp to Springs.

The Klip River flowed into the Vaal River and Vaal River flowed past Sharpeville location. After the industrial town of Vereeniging the Vaal River flowed south-eastwards until it joined the great Orange River which flowed westwards across the vast expanse of semi-desert until it reached the Atlantic Ocean.

Taking the left turn at Flanagan's garage the PUTCO buses geared down to a low growl as they cautiously approached the level crossing railway line, the railway line that runs from Johannesburg Park Station all the way to Durban, a city built at the edge of the great Indian Ocean. After bumping across the level crossing the buses accelerated, sweeping sharply left. Drawing away from the rail line the buses thundered past vast fields of potatoes and cabbages before flying over a concrete bridge. A train packed with commuters from Natalspruit location sped under the bridge on its way to the far East Rand passing through swampland and maize fields.

Dull red dusty railway buses ferrying white commuters from Heidelberg without slowing down roared past Flanagan's garage, speeding across the vast Highveld plains on the journey to Germiston Station.

In the north the glowing skyline of Johannesburg was vaguely visible, but the New Market Race Course lay hidden somewhere behind the great marshlands of Natalspruit.

The PUTCO buses followed the road to Elsburg which lay beyond a vlei (wetland) into which the road dipped. Racing down the dip and over the low level concrete bridge the buses pressed onwards up the hill passing the stretch of colossal slime dam dumps which glowed ghostly luminous phosphorus white on the right-hand side of the road. The growling buses clung to the narrow road as they wound their way in a wide arc around the northern side of the chain of brooding gold mine slime dumps. Turning into Elsburg road the buses travelled past the ruins of the old black Stirtonville Township that had been laid waste following the mass removals of the black residents under the apartheid group areas act. The buses flashed past the Elephant Trading Store and the Central Compound, which was one of a network of hostel barracks for the ERPM mine workers. Beyond Central Compound the lights of the Hercules headgear could be seen shining above the skyline like stars from the east.

Shortly after the break of dawn the approaching rumble and drone of PUTCO buses began to rouse the citizens of Boksburg from their peaceful sleep. Yawning commuters disembarking from the PUTCO buses streamed onto the station platforms like an invading army of black ants. They forced their way onto crowded trains which transported them across the length and breadth of Witwatersrand. Their destinations were the factories of the industrial townships of Germiston, Johannesburg, Benoni, Brakpan and Springs.

6

After her mandatory 8 hours sleep, at 5.00 am sharp, the ringing of Geraldine's alarm clock signalled the start of her workday. Every night after supper she managed to squeeze in two to three hours work on her Unisa course work readings and assignments.

Now the alarm on her clock was ringing. She rolled over in her bed so that she was facing the alarm clock on the side table next to her bed, reaching out her hand towards the clock, she felt for the alarm button with her fingers, locating the alarm button while still half asleep, she switched off the alarm off by depressing the button. At 5.00 am it was still dark outside. She opened her eyes. Turning onto her back with her head still resting on the pillow she laid listening for a short while, taking in the silence of the new day. Her mother had not stirred yet. The sun had not yet risen. The birds were just beginning to stir on their roosts.

Everyone was still sleeping. Kicking off the bed covers she decided to get up for her shower. Sitting on the edge of her bed in the dark she decided not to wash her long black hair. It would have been better if she had washed it last night. Now there would be not enough time for her hair to dry. Anyway it was easy to make pony tails with second or even third day hair.

She put on her lamp. A soft comfortable diffuse yellow glow filled the room. She quickly made her bed. Taking off her nighty, she placed it under her pillow and then slipped into her bathroom robe. She showered quickly. Wrapping herself in her towel, she grabbed her robe and went back to her room. Dropping the towel into a crumbled heap, she rifled through her draws selecting a clean black bra and a matching pair of black panties. She quickly put on her panties and strapped on her bra. Taking a sleeveless tank top blouse from another draw she slipped it over her head. Sitting down on the bed she pulled on a pair of faded denim jeans. Standing up she pulled the jeans up over her hips.

Now dressed she sat down on the bed facing the mirror fixed to the built in cupboard door, while staring at the mirror she combed and brushed out her hair. Dividing her hair equally into two ponytails so that they were both perfectly midway between her crown and the nape of her neck she gathered each ponytail one in the right hand and one in the left hand and deftly secured them together as if tying a shoelace. She then plaited the two ends, securing the tufted end with a band. She wound the plaits into a tight bob and fixed the bob against the back of head with bobby pins. After tying on her doek (bandana) she put on her socks and wiggled her feet into a pair of white takkies.

Picking her bag up from the corner she placed it on the bed. She glanced around the room to make sure everything was in its right place. Her bed was against an east facing window that filled most of the wall; in her room a mere meter from the foot of the bed stood the built-in cupboard. Against the opposite wall stood a chest of draws and squashed in the corner was her small desk. By any standards it was a small room.

A fresh early morning breeze began to blow. The curtains billowed over the bed. She pulled the floral curtains to the sides of the window.

Looking out of the window she could see the jagged-edged black landscape silhouetted sharply against the faint glow of an orange red and crimson composed skyline, and the words of the poet came to her mind:

When Luvahs bulls each morning drag the sulphur Sun out of the Deep. Harnessed with starry harness black and shining kept by slaves. That work all night at the starry harness. Strong and vigorous. They drag the unwilling Orb.

Still staring through the window she wondered about the image of Luvahs bulls dragging the sun from its resting place beyond the horizon. One thought flowed into the next and she found herself rehearsing in her mind everything that she had recently learnt. Moving her hands subconsciously to emphasize all the important points, as if she were teaching a class, she silently went over in her mind some of the key philosophical argument and concepts.

7

Pure, independent and unaided reason can never be the primary source of all knowledge; as the rationalists like Descartes would like to have it. This is what her Unisa study guide said. Can anything about the world out there be discovered without the help of the five senses? What kind of truths can be discovered independently of sense experience, without empirical observation or scientific experiments? What truths can be known a priori? What kind of innate ideas do we possess, and can we discover truths from these innate ideas? Can we arrive at certainty or truth by following some method? Will such method be fool-proof against committing possible errors, will it really help us to avoid making errors? How do we know that we have made an error in our thinking? According to Descartes we cannot claim to know the truth about anything for sure, so long as we cannot be certain that we have not committed an error in our thinking. The truth must be something, or a claim about something, or a claim about something actually being the case, something which would be impossible for us to doubt. If something is true, then obviously it cannot be doubted. It cannot be doubted because no reasons can be found that would provide grounds for doubting, that is, for reasonable doubt. We cannot trust our senses because we cannot be sure that we are not dreaming everything we see, hear, smell, taste or feel against our skins, we cannot be absolutely sure that a demon has not taken control of our brains or our minds, tricking us, making us believe things which are not false, or making us perceive things which are not there or do not actually exist, or make us think things which are not true. The argument goes something like this: We cannot even be completely sure that we are not being deceived by some supernatural evil genius. Furthermore, to reiterate once more, Descartes' argument rests on the case that we have no grounds or compelling reasons to trust our five senses. So we cannot be sure that whatever we perceive is actually real, and not some kind of illusion or possibly a dream. So according to Descartes whatever is left still standing after systematically doubting everything including our senses, must be something which is indubitable, something which is unassailable, something not susceptible to any kind of doubt whatsoever, it has to be something which could not be reasonably doubted by any reasonable or sane person. Whatever remains standing firm after doubting everything has to be something which is not susceptible to any kind of doubt. That something would have to be true beyond any rational doubt. Anything left standing, anything that was immune to the very faintest doubt, had to be something that was precise, clear and distinct. The only thing that Descartes could not possibly doubt is the fact that he doubts. So at the very least there must be 'something' that has the capacity to doubt. And in order to doubt there must something which is able to think. Therefore, at the very least Descartes, at the end of his exercise of systematic doubt, came to the realization or conclusion that at the very least there was something, there existed something or someone who could doubt everything. And this individual or entity or thing happens to be a something which can think or has the power or capacity to think. Something exists which has the capacity to have thoughts, including thought of doubt. A capacity to think has to exist in order for doubts to be entertained. And I suppose to be something which thinks, something which has the power or cognitive capacity to entertain doubts, you have to actually exist. You cannot be something and at the same time not exist in some kind of way. So Descartes came to the conclusion that he really could not doubt or entertain thoughts of doubt if in fact he did not exist in some form. At the very least there was one thing he could doubt and that is he could not doubt that he was a thinking thing, a thing that thinks and can have doubts. Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am something. If the cogito is a thinking thing, can we view the thing that thinks as the mind, or is it more complicated than that? What is mind? How can anything think? And then John Locke came along and asked: how do minds obtain knowledge about anything? Locke proposed that all our ideas which fill our minds do not have an innate or a priori origin. At our birth, we start with blank minds, when we are born our minds are empty of all innate ideas. So according to Locke, we start our lives with empty minds, minds that do not have any ideas. We only gradually develop a mind filled with all kinds of ideas as we grow up. So where do our ideas actually come from? Locke proposed that all the ideas in our minds are derived ultimately from sensations or sense experience and reflection. A sensation is an impression or sense impression. Our perceiving senses must then be the ultimate source of all of our ideas that inhabit our minds. Question: What do our senses actually perceive when we have a sense experience? Do they perceive the thing in itself or something else? OK, let's leave that question unanswered for the time being. Locke thinks that the ideas in our minds are some kind of copies of the things that caused the sensation or which gave rise to the sense experience. As a consequence of reflection the mind processes the sense impressions into ideas. What is an idea again? Oh, the idea is a copy of the thing that caused the sense impression. The copy of the idea is formed through the activity of reflection. Reflection also involves the formation of complex ideas from simpler ideas.

Geraldine felt satisfied with the success of her mental exercise of rehearsing everything that she had learnt over the past few weeks. She had recalled everything which she felt was important, and was able to articulate with understanding, in her mind what she had learnt in philosophy. She mused with a subtle smile at the mirror, that just maybe she was now ready for Plato.

8

She began to reflect on how in such a short space of time she had travelled such a vast distance without leaving the municipal perimeters of Boksburg. Meeting Aaron Kalamazoo the Indian shanty town had changed her life forever, there could be no going back. In a real sense Aaron was not only the love of her life and he had also in a way become her mentor. He was her lover and her mentor. She could not imagine life without Aaron. So Aaron was right: there was an erotic and even a romantic aspect to learning and teaching. She stared out of the window smiling at the thought. She enjoyed the stillness of the morning. Her mind was sharp was after a good night's rest and it was a good time to meditate on things.

Turning her head away from the window she looked once more at herself in the mirror as the first feeble rays of sunlight light started to penetrate into the room.

She thought: 'Aaron had said that he belonged to the bourgeoisie and he then said that I have fallen from the ranks of apartheid's non-white petty bourgeoisie into the ranks of the proletariat.'

She wondered: 'Am I really a member of the proletariat? I definitely look like a proletarian person when wearing a worker's doek and having such a dark black skin. I cannot believe how severe and stark my stare is in the mirror that has begun to turn gold.'

'I look more like some kind of anarchist. My face looks so severe, so frightfully serious. Sometimes my face shocks me. I do not recognize myself. There is a sternness to my gaze, there is a hardness in my eyes. My face has become impenetrable. It has indeed become proletarian. My face only relaxes and becomes soft when I am with Aaron. People say that I speak like a white person. They become confused by me. My whole life I have made people confused. I feel like an alien, like a foreigner. I do not fit in anywhere. On the bus I don't speak English. I speak isiZulu, I merge with township blacks. No one sees me, no one notices me. I become invisible in a sea of black skins. I am alone in a crowd. I speak isiZulu, they hear that my voice speaks the Zulu from Natal. I am an imposter. I am a chameleon. They know that I am a Coloured who speaks isiZulu; I am a Coloured from Natal.'

'I have become such a serious person!'

'I am definitely proletarian. Yes I am.'

Through the closed door Geraldine could hear that her mother was now busy in the kitchen making the breakfast.

While showering she had reflected on the work that she still had to do on her Unisa philosophy assignments. When it came to philosophy Aaron was an autodidact. She was studying philosophy formally. That is what he had more or less said. She laughed when Aaron referred to himself an autodidact.

Does the idea of an object that has been formed in our minds when we perceive some external object actually represent an accurate resemblance of that object? Is the idea in our heads actually exactly like the object that caused the idea to come into existence in our minds as a consequence of the chain of events which made up the whole process of perceiving the object? Do we actually see the thing that causes the idea to appear in our minds? Of course we don't actually see everything that is involved as necessary causal links in the chain of events that lead to the formation of the idea of the object inside our heads or in our thoughts or in our mind or wherever ideas are supposed to exist as kinds of things. Obviously we cannot see what is going on inside our eyes and brain when we are seeing something out there.

How do external objects become ideas existing in our heads or minds? Does the whole Universe only really exist as an idea in our minds? And what do we mean by the mind?

She stood up and turning round she inspected herself in mirror. Opening the door of her cupboard she took her overall off its hanger. Putting on the knee length navy blue women's overall jacket over her jeans and top, she buttoned it up. The overall just covered her knees. With the black doek and navy blue overall her appearance become transformed into that of a factory worker.

She could hear her mother in the kitchen preparing breakfast and school lunches for the kids. The smell of toast and the aroma of percolated coffee from the kitchen had reached her room.

9

Since she had started working Geraldine left home at 6.00 am every morning. She walked briskly along the foot path that cut across the dew saturated veld from her parent's home in Goedehoop Street Reiger Park to the bus terminus at East Rand Station. It was the shortest route to the station.

The industrial uniform of a seamstress in which she was dressed made her appearance inconspicuous to anyone passing by. No eyes noticed her strikingly beautiful features or her shapely figure. Like a human chameleon, with her dark complexion, she became indistinguishable from everyone else as she joined the sombre throngs of black factory workers. With her long hair tied up into a bun and covered with a black doek (bandana) made it difficult to distinguish her as anyone different from the other black women. She chose the colour black for the doek because she felt that this would be the more appropriate colour for Lent. Her navy blue overall over her blouse and jeans contributed to her invisibility and anonymity. In one of the pockets of her overall she carried her rosary. For the duration of Lent she would use the short tea break and the lunch break to pray the rosary.

The station was located close to the T-injunction between Elsburg Road and Commissioner Street. Each morning on her journey to the bus stop she walked past Kalamazoo.

Now just before 6.30 am Geraldine carrying a bulky bag slung over her shoulder joined the queue for the PUTCO bus heading to Boksburg North.

With the recent rains the buses were encrusted with dried red mud. She boarded the mud encrusted PUTCO bus.

The bus drove past Aaron's home at 98 Commissioner Street. The huge large steel gates of the Finnegan large sprawling mine mansion were still closed. There were two gates, the one on the east side was the entrance gate and the other on west side was the exist gate. The house was hidden from view behind a two meter high wooden split pole fence and thick barrier of tall foliage and trees.

At the eastern corner of the property, a huge Jacaranda trees stood on either side of the gate. At the western corner of the property, next to exit gate stood a clump of tall cypress, conifers and pine trees. Towering above the split fence stood a dense hedge of tall dark green privets.

Four towering red brick chimneys were visible, sticking out above the red corrugated iron roof. The mystery of Aaron's home remained hidden from her in its leafy setting within the two acre stand.

Behind their house stood the outline of the huge conical shaped grey stone dump, and behind the tall blue gum trees in the western corner of their yard she could make out the steel headgear of the Hercules vertical shaft.

Going down Commissioner Street the bus stopped at the robots on the corner of Commissioner and Rissik Street; on the corner stood the Boksburg Police Station. Diagonally across the intersection stood the newly established William Hunt Garage; its show room filled with gleaming new cars.

Ghettoized within the bus behind the windows she and the other black workers who also toiled in the factories of the Witwatersrand gazed out at the other world, the world of white people. Sometimes she caught a fleeting glimpse of Aaron making his way to Boksburg Station to catch the train to Wits. A mysterious smile would immediately form on her face. Seeing Aaron from the bus window always put her in a good mood for the rest of the day.

10

How does one read Descartes' Meditations? How could she be sure that she was not missing some profound idea or thought that laid hidden in plain view in the Meditations. The writing seemed so plain, so lucid; it was really not too difficult to read; in fact it was written in perfectly understandable language and easy to read prose; it was definitely not technically a difficult philosophical text. Its message seemed to be so deceptively simple, so clear, so transparent, who could not grasp the point that Descartes's was making? Even so Aaron recommended that she should read and re-read the Meditations over and over again.

Is this how he read Plato she asked, over and over again?

Yes and that is when things start to leaping out of the text, he answered.

From first year she had learnt that Aristotle had proposed that the Universe was made of substances and their attributes or properties. According to Aristotle substance was the elementary stuff out which all things in Universe were constituted. Descartes agreed with Aristotle that the Universe was made of substances, substance which possessed a variety of properties and these properties could also be changeable. Properties of substances could not exist independently of substances. For Descartes 'extension' was one the fundamental properties that was essential for all substances to possess. All substances which are bodies have 'extension' in the sense that all bodies necessarily occupy space.

But then Descartes also believed in the existence of non-physical substances such as 'mind' which possessed the capacity for thinking as its essential property or attribute. Geraldine understood all of this. Descartes was the father of Cartesianism. In the Cartesian Universe there existed two kinds of substances, extended physical bodies and non-physical minds that possessed the capacity or power to think, that is substances which happened to be minds and substances being the stuff out which bodies were constituted. The mind is a non-extended thinking thing whereas the body was an extended non-thinking thing. So there are two kinds of things, a mind and a body, giving us the mind-body dualism, and with respect to the mind-body dualism he thought that it was possible for the kinds of things, mind or body, to exist without the other. But he couldn't really explain how the mind and the body as two different kinds of things could interact. It is clear that many things cannot be perceived or experienced without a body. How can one kind of thing such as the mind, as a non-physical kind of thing, interact causally with another different kind of thing such as the physical body, making the mouth, tongue, voice box, fingers, hands, arms, feet, or legs do all kinds of physical goal orientated actions. And vice versa, how can the extended physical body, with its physically constituted sense organs, communicate the physical experiences of sights, sounds, odours, fragrances, scents, tactile sensitivities to all kinds of physical textures, to a non-physical, non-extended thing such as a mind or consciousness, if we accept that being conscious is equivalent to having some kind of mind or mental capacity or cognitive capacity. The mind as one kind of thing seems to have the power or capacity to become aware or conscious of sensations, caused by the different actions of the material or physical world on the physical body, where the effects of this actions cause the body to experience sensations by virtue of the physical stimulation of the various sense organs, and the nature of these different kinds of sensations, the sounds, the sights, the scents, and so on are communicated somehow to the non-extended, non-physical mind, which in turn, in response to the various sensations can cause the extended, physical body to act or react in a purposeful fashion. The mind-body problem in terms of how the mind and body are able to interact reduces to a problem of physical causation. How does a non-physical entity such as the mind or consciousness interact causally with a physical entity such as the body, and vice versa? This is the legacy of Descartes. We have a very good idea of the nature of the different kinds of stuff or substances out of which the physical body is composed. But what kind of thing or entity is the mind? Out of what is stuff is the mind or consciousness constituted? We talk about the 'work' of the mind. Descartes' book, 'Meditations', represents such a work. We are pretty sure that other people have minds. Somethings we are able to read their minds, guessing quite accurately what they are thinking, often by observing the expressions on their faces.

11

She stared through grimy bus window and thought:

'And then there is Spinoza.' She thought about Spinoza, she had now become acquainted with him by chance.

When her uncle heard she was studying philosophy Unisa he gave her a copy of Spinoza's Ethics. She found a piece of paper between the pages of the book, it read:

'Can anything cause its own existence?' 'Logically nothing can exist prior to its own existence.' 'Nothing can cause itself.' 'This has to be true in the deepest possible sense.' 'If anything is true then this is it.'

The hand written note intrigued her; it was in uncle's handwriting.

'For something to cause itself it has to actualize itself prior to its existence, in other words, it has to actualize its own coming into being or coming into existence from nothing, it has to cause it is own being. But as Aaron said something cannot come from nothing, only nothing can come nothing. Something can only come from something.'

12

After the robots at the Police Station the bus rolled down the hill past the bowling greens. Sometimes at the bottom of the dip the next robot would catch them. Diagonally across the intersection stood the now defunct blue and white painted Boat House on the banks of Boksburg Lake. After the robots turned green the bus would continue on its journey to Boksburg North, proceeding past the Lake, past the old stone prison with its large green painted doors, past the Methodist Church across the road from the prison. At this point Commissioner Street entered into the shop lined central business district (CBD) of Boksburg. At the Town Hall with its tall palm trees the bus stopped and workers disembarked. Opposite the Town Hall, stood the old Barclay's Bank Building where Geraldine had opened her banking account. In the next block after Barclay's Bank, also opposite the Town Hall, stood the Central Hotel.

At the next set of robots after the Central Hotel the bus would turn left into Trichardt Road. Driving past St Dominic's Catholic Church on the right, it continued past the Boksburg Municipal Bus Depot. Proceeding next under the main East Rand railway line bridge and then it started the long chug up the steep hill towards Boksburg North. On this stretch of the journey up the hill, the road passed between Cason Dump on the left and another stone walled prison, Cinderella Prison, on the right.

Boksburg was graced with two old stone walled prisons. The front façade of the prison facing Trichardt Road consisted of high fortified stone walls. The inmates incarcerated in these grim stone masonry prison complexes consisted entirely of black men. The majority were not criminals; their only offence which had put them behind these stone walls was their transgression of the pass law act. Their offence was not against any universally recognized law which could be justified by appealing to moral principles and ethical norms which every sane human being would accept as necessarily binding on all members of any civilized society.

During the day the prisoners, who were referred to as convicts, worked as labourers outside of the high stone prison walls in a barb wire enclosed vegetable gardens, next to Blue Sky Road. The bare footed convicts, in their strange uniforms of khaki knee length shorts and coarse khaki coloured collarless short sleeved jackets, toiled with their hoes under the watchful eyes of white wardens armed with 303 rifles. Some of the armed wardens were stationed in guard towers located at the corners of the vegetable garden. To Geraldine this prison, in the shadow of Cason Dump, was Boksburg's most visibly grim and dismal landmark. She thus always found this stretch of the journey depressing.

The bus when chock full with passengers from Reiger Park and Vosloorus location always laboured up this hill. To stop the bus from stalling to a halt the bus driver would change to a lower gear, and the bus would spew out clouds of black smoke. In the east as the sun climbed above Benoni, plumes of smoke rising from the smoke stacks of the Dunswart Steel glowed red against a pink and purple sky. Always on schedule, flocks of Sacred Ibises crowded the grey early morning skies, always flying eastwards in their V formations. On the east side of the sprawling prison complex, across Blue Sky Road lay the Boksburg municipal rubbish dump. Most mornings a large flock of squawking grey headed gulls could be seen wheeling in acrobatic swoops above the dump.

On the top of the hill at the corner of Trichardt and Cason road stood the double storied Boksburg North Hotel with its two Cape Dutch gables. The hotel bar was often referred to as the 'Bucket of Blood', the swinging doors of bar opened onto the street corner next to the robots. Just past the hotel, also on the left side, was the Empire Bioscope. At the robots the bus turned right into Cason road and journeyed eastwards towards the old defunct Benoni Horse Racing Course with lay spread out across the road from the Dunswart Steel Works.

An assortment of shops, bicycle shop, cafés, hardware store, dry cleaners, toy shop, chemist, vegetable-fresh produce shop, shoe shop, and clothing shops lined the pavements for the next 5 or so blocks on the left side of Cason Road. On the right side was brick dormitories called Jubilee Home which was an orphanage for white children. On the north side, hidden from view, behind the row of street shops lay the regimentally arranged homes of the sombre and brooding white working class suburb of Boksburg North. Populated by mostly Afrikaans speaking citizens whose downward descend into the dark abyss of proletarianization had been arrested and reversed by a series of timely interventions of the Milner administration after the Boer War and then by the Nationalist Party.

From the windows of the moving bus the passengers could see the orphaned children of Jubilee Hall already dressed in their grey uniforms waiting in queues to be dispatched to the various government schools. Further down the road the bus passed the entrance to the whites-only Boksburg North Drive-In and then the whites-only Fire Place Road House. To the untrained eye there was no discernible visible difference between her and most of the other passengers on the PUTCO bus. She could have easily been mistaken for a female commuter from Vosloorus, albeit a very attractive one. Her parents would never contemplate using the PUTCO bus services if they could help it. However, they took it for granted that she would be using the bus service to get work. She had no option; there was no other way of getting to Sonny Colbert's factory as a black person.

A few blocks from old now defunct Benoni Race Course, the bus came to a halt at the bus stop outside Sonny Colbert's Women's Garment Factory. All the Coloured seamstresses from Reiger Park disembarked and filed through the factory gates to clock in their time cards for the start of another working day.

13

It was thanks to the intrepid Irish Franciscan Priest, Father Jethro, that Geraldine and many of the younger seamstresses had received training on sewing machines and dressmaking at the Catholic Adult Training Centre in Reiger Park. During her matric year she had begun to go the night classes at Centre where some Dominican Nuns taught them sewing, typing and short-hand. On other evenings from when she was in standard nine she also assisted her aunt who gave dance lessons at the centre on one of the week nights. As an assistant dance teacher she had taught many of the younger seamstresses at Sonny Colbert's.

She knew most of the women working at the garment factory. The majority of the woman had converted to Catholicism due to the work of the Father Jethro in the Coloured community and due to the training that they had received at the Catholic Adult Training Centre. While being polite and friendly Geraldine kept pretty much to herself. Without wanting to appear snobbish or antisocial she avoided, as graciously as was possible, from been drawn into any after work Coloured women's social networks in Reiger Park. She did not want get herself into any awkward situations that would have a negative impact on her relationship with Aaron. In her mind she belonged only to Aaron, and she felt that Aaron belonged to her.

She was aware that she was living a double life. She also knew that behind her back her fellow workers referred to her as 'Black Frost'. Without her ever really intending to come across as cold and aloof, this was how others perceived her. She was perceived as being an extremely private and reserved person. She never expressed any opinions. She felt that the less they knew about her the better. She felt that she had to protect herself, to keep her secret safe. At lunch time she always ate her lunch alone, sitting quietly by herself, using the hour long lunch break to go over her Unisa work and to pray the rosary.

The older Coloured women were surprisingly political and Bram Fischer regularly cropped up as a topic of conversation.

"Hy is 'n baie goeie man." (He is a very good man.)

"Hy moes die eerste minister van Suid Afrika geword." (He could have become the prime minister of South Africa.)

Her parents took the side of the Nationalist Party Government. They thought it was a good thing that Bram Fischer had been taken into custody and in all likelihood he would be receiving a life sentence. They were strongly anti-ANC and anti-Communist. Her parents were on the side of the whites, they saw the world through white eyes ever though they were racially classified as Coloureds. Her father had become a prominent community leader in Reiger Park and was on good terms with the senior white officialdom that governed the affairs of Boksburg.

All the older Coloured women had previously belonged to the multiracial Transvaal Garment Workers Unions (GWU). They spoke about the good old days. Names such as Solly Sachs, Johanna Hendrina Scheepers and Johanna Catharina Jacoba Cornelius kept on cropping up in conversation. She was surprised to learn that Afrikaans white women had once been involved in trade unionism. Listening to these women speaking about the old days in the garment industry she began to secretly feel proud that she too was now also a 'factory girl.' Well it was a McNamara family tradition to be factory workers and part-time correspondence students. Her mother and father had managed to lift themselves up out of the gutter in a manner of speaking.

14

The subject matter of Father Jethro's Ash Wednesday homily cropped up as a topic of debate and discussion in the garment factory. Typically on the Ash Wednesday evening service the township church was packed to capacity. People even sat in the aisles.

Every Lent so far Father Jethro had got the parish thinking and meditating for the full forty days of Lent about one or other topic which would enhance the parish's Lenten observance. For Lent they had to study the Gospel according to Luke. He had typed up a study guide and had made multiple copies on the old single drum Roneo machine for the parish, which were handed out at the door at the start of the Ash Wednesday service.

In his homily Father Jethro spoke on the various interpretations of the meaning of the Devil's temptations when Jesus fasted for forty days in the wilderness. While fasting in the wilderness the Devil visited Jesus and tried to tempt Jesus with the three famous temptations.

Father Jethro told the congregation on Ash Wednesday that throughout the history of the Church it had always been in the interest of the ruling elite to spiritualize everything in the Bible and especially in the Gospels. The reason for this was that they wanted to depoliticize the message of the Good News from the Gospels and the rest of the Bible.

Father Jethro was known as an enthusiastic proponent of liberation theology.

He told the parishioners that even Biblical scholars wanted to depoliticise the message of the Gospels and spiritualize the significance and meaning of the Good News to the exclusion of everything else. This was a very one dimensional view of the message of the Gospels. He said the Church and politicians throughout history had worked hard to domestic the message of the Gospel and the Bible so as control the poor people.

Reading from the Gospel of Luke Father Jethro proved to the congregation that Gospel narrative plot structure with regard to the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness after he had fasted for forty days was in fact intensely political, and definitely not something which could be interpreted spiritually in some kind of devotional reading.

To demonstrate that the Gospel carried a politically slanted message he asked the congregation assembled for the Ash Wednesday service the following question: what could be more political than the Magnificat in Luke's Gospel? He then read the text, delivering a dramatic rendition:

My soul magnifies the Lord

And my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour;

Because He has regarded the lowliness of His handmaid;

For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed;

Because He who is mighty has done great things for me,

and holy is His name;

And His mercy is from generation to generation

on those who fear Him.

He has shown might with His arm,

He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.

He has put down the mighty from their thrones,

and has exalted the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich He has sent away empty.

He has given help to Israel, his servant, mindful of His mercy

Even as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity forever.

After briefly discussing the Magnificat Father Jethro discussed the Devils three temptations:

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.

The devil said to him, "If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread."

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone."

Father Jethro asked the congregation: "In what way was this temptation about political power?"

He waited for a moment and then he answered the question: "Feed the crowds and you will be king. Of course Jesus as the incarnation of the omnipotent God of the Universe he could turn rocks and boulders into loaves of bread. The political temptation was: 'use your omnipotence as a provider of food and you will be king over the entire Earth.'"

Father Jethro read the second temptation:

The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendour; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours."

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'"

After reading this portion of scripture Father Jethro looked up and smiled. He went on to offer an interpretative explanation of the meaning of the second temptation:

"There are number of interesting things about the second temptation, not only because it is the most politically overt temptation of the three temptations. There is also an irony in this temptation, an irony because it was not possible for the devil to deliver on this profoundly political temptation. But this was not the reason that Jesus rejected the offer. Jesus rejected the offer because the nature of political power is intrinsically idolatrous; this is why the desire for political power is equivalent to worshipping Satan. Political power is always idolatrous in nature because it is based on enforced social stratification or enforced hierarchies of social domination which necessarily entails self-aggrandizement of the political overlords. Very often this enforcement of hierarchies of social domination involves violence, in fact social stratification of society into classes or racial groups cannot happen without violent force. Apartheid would be impossible without violent force."

"As Samuel explained to the people of Israel when they wanted to be ruled by a king, he warned them that there can never be such a person as a good ruler, there is no such thing as good master. Why is this so? Well it is because the desire for political power is always equivalent to worshipping the devil, and therefore there can never be a good ruler or a good master. The nature of political power is always intrinsically idolatrous and violent."

He then read the third the temptation in the Gospel of Luke:

The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down from here. For it is written:

'He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone'. "

Jesus answered, "It is said: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' "

When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.

"This was the cleverest and the most audacious temptation of the devil. The devil in this temptation was challenging Jesus to publically prove his divinity to men by throwing himself from highest pinnacle of the temple in Jerusalem. Blasphemy was punished by throwing the blasphemer to his or her death from the walls of the temple into the Kidron Valley below the temple wall. Satan did come back at various opportune times with the same temptation which involved the prompting of Jesus to publically perform an act that will prove his divinity. For example, in Mark 8:31, when Peter tried to persuade Jesus from accepting the inevitability of his execution on a Roman Cross, Jesus said to Peter 'get behind me Satan.' In Matthew 26 Jesus refrained from calling on God the Father to send twelve legions of angels to rescue him from arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane. In Luke 23:35 while Jesus was on the cross people mocked him calling on him to rescue himself if was truly God's Messiah," Father Jethro elaborated.

"The temptation to prove his divine credentials as God's Messiah was fraught with political consequences. Josephus writes about many messianic pretenders that provoked bloody and futile political uprising against the Roman Empire. Jesus resisted this temptation to allow himself to become a messianic freedom fighter against Rome in order to prove his divine messianic mandate, which would ultimately mean replacing one hierarchy of social domination with another one."

Father Jethro paused for a moment to allow his message to sink in.

"The reign of God, which is the Kingdom of God, is in essence hostile to all political hierarchies of social domination. It is necessarily so because the political kingdom of men is essentially idolatrous and is therefore both anti-man and anti-God," he said, concluding his homily.

15

With the passing of autumn the southern hemisphere winter constellations now populated the dark purple cloudless night sky with billions of stars which twinkled mysteriously as an icy chill settled over the McNamara's secluded backyard in the new suburb of Reiger Park.

Her parents had gone to the funeral of an old friend in Durban so it was safe for Aaron to visit Geraldine at her home. He arrived after the cloak of darkness had descended over Reiger Park. Even though the night air was frosty they decided to do something outrageously out of the ordinary like spending the entire night together star gazing while laying on their backs on the lawn in the backyard. She spread out an old blanket on the lawn. Laying on the blanket they covered themselves with a number of blankets. Warmly dressed with scarves and beanies, resting their heads on the pillows taken from Geraldine's bed they snuggled together and raised their binoculars with gloved hands heavenwards.

After an hour of star gazing they fell asleep. Curling into a foetal position on her side she cuddled against Aaron. He wrapped his arm round her and pulled her tightly against his chest and abdomen. It was two-o-clock in the morning when they woke up.

She had just finished reading Plato's Phaedrus and feeling refreshed from their sleep and not wanting Aaron to leave her until the break of dawn, she began a strange conversation while lying comfortable warm against Aaron's body.

"It is ironic that in the Plato's Phaedrus which is supposed be about Love assumes that seduction as a sensual sexual drama that can only take place between two men and that the realization of true love requires the systematic step-wise de-eroticization of Eros as the lovers ascend the ladder of love to the heavenly realm of the Forms."

"Are referring to Lysias's speech?" Aaron asked.

"Yes, sort of, I suppose," Geraldine replied.

"Well as I have already admitted, it is a really strange speech, but Plato is using it as foil for specific erotic purpose in a manner of speaking. Lysias argues in his speech that it would be more preferable and also objectively and practically in the boys best own interests for the boy to grant sexual favours to someone who is not in love with him than to yield sexually to someone who is actually in love with the boy. So to state the problem formally, Lysias in his speech aims to persuade the boy that it would be more profitable for boy to grant or return sexual favours to a non-lover than to a lover. The non-lover is offering the boy, in legal terms a definite, quid pro quo, that is, something for something. It is the non-lover's intention to persuade the boy to offer a service in the form of sexual favours in return or in exchange for something of value," Aaron said.

"The arrangement sounds like prostitution to me, possibly prostitution in disguise," she commented.

"I suppose sex offered in exchange for something in return is a form of prostitution. The non-lover in Lysias speech does not offer anything in specific. No clear offer is explicitly made in exchange for sex with the boy. I suppose trying to establish what the reciprocal benefits would be in this arrangement would be the task of hermeneutic exercise," Aaron said.

"What do you think the boy was going to get from the non-lover in exchange for sex?" She asked.

"That is a key question. A lot has been left unsaid in regard to this. But there must be clues. Apparently Lysias' speech does not appear to shock either Phaedrus or Socrates. No moral judgment was made about the social acceptability of this kind of arrangement between a boy and an older man. So we can conclude that it was not considered to be a morally despicable perversion. Maybe it was socially condoned or at least sanctioned or at the very least tolerated if the boy was getting something meaningful or a useful benefit from the arrangement. In many instances, sex between a boy and an older man was not considered abnormal or unnatural in ancient Greece; it may have even played some important social role. So for some lucky or unlucky boys it could have been a rite of passage or a kind of initiation. In fact sex between boys and older men was accepted in certain circles among the free male citizens of Athens to be a higher or loftier kind of sexual behaviour. Heterosexual relations were only necessary for procreation," he said.

"So all in all it is safe to conclude that in the ancient Greek city-state sexual relations between boys and an older men must have had significant social and political benefits for the boys concerned. The older men in powerful positions would have been able to exert political and social influence to secure the social and political advancement of boy in exchange for sexual favours. Also benefits in the form of political education and political opportunities could be exchanged for sexual favours. The older man could use his influence to help the boy in the development of his career. He is not giving the boy any money in exchange for sexual favours, which would be blatant prostitution, instead he has power and influences to assist the boy to realize and achieve his political and social ambitions," Aaron continued.

"What will happen if the boy chooses the lover instead of the non-lover, and should we assume the non-lover is more powerful and influential than the lover?" She wondered.

"It seems that we could assume that the non-lover is more powerful and influential than the lover. In Lysias' speech the affair would end in disaster for both the boy and the lover, leaving them both worst off," Aaron suggested.

"Why would the affair end in disaster?" Geraldine asked out of interest.

"It has to end in disaster because as Lysias argues, Lovers themselves admit that they are mad, not sane, and that they know that they are not in their right mind and that they cannot help themselves. In the love relationship between a boy and an older man there be an almost endless list of inevitable negative consequences for both the lover and the boy. Lysias argument rests on the premise that it has to end in disaster for both the boy and the lover, and therefore it would be in the boy's best interest to rather grant sexual favours to the non-lover, than to the lover, chiefly because the lover is in state of madness, due to being completely love-sick. But let start from the beginning," Aaron explained.

"OK start from the beginning," she agreed.

"Well let's go back to Lysias' speech. Phaedrus takes out the speech which was rolled up and hidden under his cloak. He unrolls the speech. Socrates is lying down on the soft grass gazing up at the boughs of the plane tree. The Cicadas are busy. In the background the murmur of running water could be heard. It was still very hot even in the shade of the plane tree. Phaedrus while standing starts to read the speech, the speech opens with following curious statement, 'Listen here, you understand my situation: I've told you how good it would be for us, in my opinion, if this worked out. In any case, I don't think I should lose the chance to get what I am asking for, merely because I don't happen to be in love you,' " he said.

Geraldine shook her head.

"I can just imagine a situation almost exactly like this. A male boss can say to an attractive junior female member of his staff, 'you know my situation, I am married with children, but I think having sex with you will be good for both of us, so I don't think I should lose this chance to gratify my lust merely because I don't happen to love you, anyway in exchange for your sexual favours I will look kindly on your promotion prospects.' However such a proposal is not only outrageous, it is completely ridiculous."

"So you don't think that this kind of thing happens in the real world?" Aaron asked.

"I suppose it is possible, but only in a world that is cold, cynical and calculating with respect to the loveless pursuit of self-interest and personal gratification," she said.

"That is the real world we live it," Aaron said.

"In essence Lysias' speech compares and contrasts the different merits and disadvantages flowing from two kinds of intimate relationships that could take place between a beautiful teenage boy and an older man, who may be his tutor or school master. One is based on passionate love and the other is based on nothing else but the satisfaction of physical desire without passionate love. In the first kind of relationship the boy would be involved with a lover. In the second of relationship the boy would be involved with a non-lover. Lysias in his speech argues in favour of the second kind of relationship, the one proposed by the non-lover."

"The non-lover argues that it would be in the best interests of the boy not to yield his favours to the lover because the lover having fallen madly in love with the boy will have completely lost his mind in the process and this will have serious detrimental consequences for the overall wellbeing of the boy. In this state of madness the lover he will be incapable of thinking rationally about anything. He throws all caution to wind in order to do everything that will earn him the boy's sexual favours. Because of this madness the non-lover is incapable of appreciating the full consequences of his actions for himself and for the boy. So he will not be acting in his own or in the boys' best interests. Also because he has become so overwhelmed and consumed with both love and desire for the boy he losses complete self- control over this emotions. He becomes desperately insecure, insanely jealous, extremely possessive, hypersensitive, quick to perceive any slight, quick to take offence, perpetually filled with anxiety, always doubting the boy's sincerity of the boy, always been in a constant state of agitation. He needs constant reassurance from boy. He flatters the boy with praise. He runs constantly after the boy. He is more preoccupied with his desire for the boy than actually wanting get to know the boy as person. He prevents the boy from having friends. He feels threaten by other men who are more wealthy. He also feels threatened by other men who more intelligent. Being possessed by all there irrational impulses and compulsions he uses every means to gain absolute control over the boy. He admits that he does all these things because he is more sick than sound in the head. Eventually the boy will be coerced into yielding sexually to him. After having his way with the boy, the lover will brag to all and sundry about his successful conquest. Now that the lover has got what he wanted from the boy his desire for the boy will have been satisfied. Having achieved his conquest and gratified his lust, his ardour for the boy rapidly begins to wane. He no longer finds the boy so alluring as before. He slowly comes to his senses and begins to regret the huge personal costs that the relationship with the boy has incurred. The relationship finally ends in bitterness because the lover feels that the favours he has received from the boy do not equal the value of the benefits that he bestowed on the boy. He believes that the boy got more out of the relationship than he did. He feels that he did not receive any satisfactory compensation or adequate return from the financial and emotional investment that he put into the relationships. When their love finally comes to an end they both find themselves worse off than they were before. They can no longer even be friends."

Aaron stopped to think about all the stuff that Lysias had to say about the non-lover.

"Don't stop. I want to hear what Lysias has to say about the non-lover now."

"I need to say a few things first about the non-lover before we deal with the details of the non-lover's proposal to the boy. The reader of the Phaedrus should realize that the non-lover is indeed a very smooth operator. In fact he is the consummate conman. His admission that he does not love the beautiful boy can be taken with a pinch of salt. It is almost certain that he does indeed love boy as much as the lover, but he is not going to disclose his true feelings to the boy. I believe that the non-lover in Phaedrus is dishonest. He is acting under false pretences. His plan is to convince the boy into believing that the kind of relationship possible with a non-lover would be to their mutual advantage. The gist of the argument presented by the non-lover in Lysias' speech can be briefly summarized as follows. He wants to convince the boy into accepting that a purely physical sexual relationship with no strings attached would somehow benefit the boy more. He would have the boy believe that they are both looking out for their own person interests only. He satisfies his physical desire for boy and the boy gets whatever benefits he desires from the non-lover. Because there no strings attached the non-lover goes into the relationship with his eyes wide open. Also because there are no strings attached the non-lover cannot keep an account of costs and benefits. So the non-lover has no grounds for any regrets regarding the balance of costs and benefits arising from their relationship. In addition, from an emotional perspective the non-lover will not be hypersensitive, insecure, vulnerable, jealous, anxious, agitated, controlling, possessive, doubtful, and distrustful. In fact their relationship will be one of pure friendship without the passion of love or other complicating emotions. They will remain genuine friends for life. As genuine friends, the non-lover will not be jealous of the boy's friendships with other men. In fact he will encourage the boy to have many friends as he wants."

Geraldine seemed sceptical:

"So their relationship of mutual benefit involves sleeping together or just having sex with no strings attached. The boy agrees to have a physical sexual relationship with non-lover and he provides boy with things in exchange. Can this be for real? Can such a relation exist? So in Lysias' speech there are only two alternative: Passionate love with sex that ends in bitterness and regret, and loveless sex with no strings attached but with the consolation of genuine friendship forever. What about true affection between people in love, what about genuine selflessness between people in love? What about romance? What about a lifelong attachment based on love. I think Lysias speech is actually quite stupid. I think he is actually quite ignorant of what love really means. It is so sordid, just using each other in that loveless manner. I prefer the love between the Shulammite maid and her shepherd in the Song of Songs to anything that Plato could possible propose about love in his Phaedrus," she said

"I really think it is a stupid speech," she said after a moment's reflection.

"You are right; I suppose it is a stupid speech."

"What did Socrates think of Lysias' speech?"

"Well Socrates's reaction was quite amusing. When Phaedrus asked him what he thought of Lysias' speech, Socrates initial response was that the speech was a miracle that he is in ecstasy. Phaedrus realizes that Socrates is joking. While Phaedrus thought it was a fantastic speech, Socrates found the speech was not only repetitious but also disorganized. It was basically a mish-mash of simplistic platitudes that anyone could make. Socrates proposes that he could make a better speech. Even though Socrates seems to find the speech quite a pathetic he does fully admit this to Phaedrus. After hearing Socrates's criticism Phaedrus challenges Socrates to make a better speech. Socrates actually made two speeches in response to Phaedrus' challenge. It is getting late, shouldn't we continued this talk about this some? " Aaron suddenly asked realizing that it has four o' clock in the morning.

"OK, but tell me what is the agora again," she asked.

"The agora is the market place or site where people meet to talk and argue. Socrates would spend his day in the agora arguing with the youth and the citizens of Athens." Aaron replied.

"Why disaster for Love, what do you mean?"

"Do you know what the phrase 'voir dire' means," He asked.

"No, can't say I do," she said

"Hillary my sister who is a lawyer said that in Plato's Phaedrus it is actually Love or Eros that is on trial. Lysias speech is the speech of the prosecution. This is what is at stake in the Phaedrus. Socrates speech is an argument in defence of Love, and his defence for Love is based on arguing for the de-eroticization Eros in mitigation of Love's apparent offence."

"De-eroticization of Eros!"

16

Winter had retreated and the first early hopeful signs of spring began to appear once more.

Now a full year had passed since the murder of Verwoerd. Time does not stand still or waits for anyone.

A year ago on Tuesday the 6th September 1966 Dr Hendrik Frensch Verwoerd was stabbed to death by Dimitri Tsafendas at about 2.15 pm as he entered the House of Assembly. Aaron, who was in his second year of studies at the University of the Witwatersrand (Wits) saw the newspaper headlines, Verwoerd Dead, Assassinated, at 17.30 pm, while walking from Wits to Park Station to catch the train home after the comparative animal anatomy zoology practical. Verwoerd had been dead for just over 3 hours. He had seemed so invincible, like an immovable block of granite. One moment he loomed larger than life over the affairs of South Africa. Now he was gone forever, washed off the stage of history by events that had all the marks of pure contingency.

The day before Verwoerd's assassination Geraldine left a message that the coast was clear for him to visit her at her aunt's house on that Friday night the 9th of September 1966 at 8.00 pm.

As usual, Aaron used his bike rather than his car to get to her aunt's house in Reiger Park. There was a fresh feeling of spring in the Jasmine filled evening air. The swallows and swifts had returned, and everywhere buds were breaking. Oak trees, willow trees and poplars were sprouting fresh new leaves. Poplar trees were shrouded in dense drapes of drooping fluffy catkins. Weaverbirds were busy building new nests. The first tentative frog calls welcomed the departure of the winter chill as the warmer evenings began to cloak the surrounding wetlands with the promise of a fecund summer.

Geraldine heard the front garden gate open. She opened the front door just in time to see him parking the bike on the veranda against the wall beneath the windowsill of the lounge window.

She inhaled deeply.

"Hmmmm do you also smell that fragrance, what is it?" she asked.

"It is Jasmine."

They embraced, pressing their bodies tightly together and giving each other long lingering smooches. Closing the door behind them, they sat down on the sofa.

"What do you think of the assassination of Verwoerd?" Aaron asked.

She knew that would be the first thing he that was going to say.

"To be honest, I really haven't given it much thought," she said, "but my mom and dad are going to his funeral in Pretoria tomorrow."

"Are going with them?" he asked, taken a bit aback by this disclosure. It seems so odd that they would go to Verwoerd's funeral.

"What! No I refused," she exclaimed with a look of shocked indignation on her face.

"I have got better things to do than to stand in the hot sun with crowds of people at the side of the road waiting for hours so that I can get a brief glimpse of his coffin as it passes on some horse drawn gun carriage or something like that," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Even if I wanted to go, I couldn't, I have got so much Unisa work and the exams are just around the corner. In addition, on top of everything, the weekends are far too short. I am suffering from sleep deficit because of all the Unisa work that I have to get through."

"You should have warned me. I would have brought my work along and we could have worked on our stuff together," he said.

"No, no, out of the question. I hardly ever see you and I do not want to waste an evening with you by doing work. No that's such a dumb idea."

"Hey I have an idea, my aunt and uncle may also be going to Verwoerd's funeral maybe we can also meet again tomorrow," she said.

"Leave a message and I will come."

"I find it absolutely bizarre that your mom and dad would go to Verwoerd's funeral. They should rather have thrown a party."

"It's not so bizarre actually."

"Why do you say that?"

"It is simple. Deep down, they see themselves as whites."

Aaron gave her what must have been an utterly uncomprehending look.

"I am the only obstacle that is preventing them from being reclassified as whites. I am the stigma and they have become stigmatized because of their dark pigmented freak daughter. A child that is disfigured, or retarded, or cripple, or deaf, or blind becomes very easily stigmatized as a non-normal person and having such a child does place a burden on the shoulders of parents and also on the siblings," she said.

"If weren't for me they would have been reclassified as whites. They would have become members of Verwoerd's Nationalist Party. They would be more verkrampt (conservative) and racist than a real white person could ever be. And what is more, they definitely would not have supported Helen Suzman's Progressive Party," she added.

"What is a real white person?" Aaron asked.

She laughed. They had discussed this before, not once, but many times.

"I don't know, you tell me. I have often gone past Boksburg High School in the afternoons and seen all the white kids congregating on the pavement outside the school waiting for the buses or walking around town, and I have noticed that many of them should be reclassified as Coloured because they are so dark, darker than my parents. Some of them have very kroesie hair especially on their necks behind their ears, that is a dead giveaway sign that they have Coloured blood and are not pure white."

"OK there you go, you have said it, and the line between white and Coloured cannot be consistently drawn." Aaron replied.

"This makes Apartheid ideology incoherent, irrational, extremely cruel and completely heartless," she said.

"Am I a normal white person?"

"You are the only white person that I really know. The only other white person that I have had contact with is our supervisor at Sonny Colbert's Garment factory. Therefore, I cannot really judge what a normal white person should be like. I lived my entire life on a kind of island in complete isolation from all whites except for you," she said.

"How do see whites?" he asked.

"I have nothing against whites per se, nor do I have anything against the Afrikaners per se. I recognize the fact that they have also suffered. During the Boer War more than 155 000 Afrikaans men, women and children were placed in concentration camps, and about 34 000 women and children died in those concentration camps. Then at the end of the Boer War the majority of Afrikaners were left destitute. Their farms were destroyed. They were the very first group of people in the history of Africa to experience the process of proletarianization and lived for more than three decades after the Boer War as dispossessed poor whites in their own country. This is a fact of history and it should have been the foundation for building a better country instead of the one that Verwoerd advocated. He and his kind have betrayed the Afrikaners and I am sure that this will be the final verdict of history, that the Afrikaners have failed themselves for lack of imagination."

"There was very interesting article about Verwoerd and Apartheid in last night's newspaper. Did you read it?" she asked.

"No I have not had chance," he said.

"It was quite an illuminating article. In the article, the journalist reckoned that even though segregation had become deeply entrenched in South Africa mainly because of racism, the Apartheid system that developed under Verwoerd presided was not inevitable. Apparently, at the turn of century the situation in South Africa was in a very fluid state, especially with regard to race relations and with respect to the Afrikaner's own self-perception. Everything, including race relations, politics and social conditions was such that no single specific future outcome was inevitable. Things could have turned out quite differently. But unfortunately various forces sort of inadvertently conspired to bring about the rise of apartheid," she said, "and Verwoerd played a key instrumental role. He built the administrative bureaucratic machinery and the political apparatus necessary for the implementation of apartheid. He was foremost a politician, and a ruthless one at that."

"Have you ever considered that the collective experiences of the Afrikaner may have made them made them more susceptible and vulnerable to a racist ideology?" she said.

"What do mean?" Aaron asked.

"Just look what happened. For the Afrikaners as a group it has never been plain sailing. They were forever randomly bumping along from one crisis to the next, from one upheaval to the next. In the end the devastating effects of a never-ending series of catastrophes such as the Boer War, the great drought and the great depression finally left them completely destitute in the grip of desperate poverty. After the destruction of their rural livelihoods by the British forces, the depression and the drought finally drove them to abandon their farms. The predominantly rural Afrikaner population began to flood the towns and cities in search of work. Facing psychological and social dislocation, economic displacement and competition with blacks for jobs, they were ready for any message of hope. The message of apartheid turned out to be the most convincing message of hope. It comes as no surprise that the message of apartheid won the day; it had fallen on fertile ground. It made complete sense to them. The moment could not have been more perfect for the birth of a new Afrikaner nation under the ideology of apartheid. Dynamic and energetic mobilization of the majority of Afrikaners under the banner of a rampant and exclusive Afrikaner Nationalism successfully swept the Nationalist Party into power in 1948, and the rest is history," Geraldine said.

"Go on don't stop. I am intrigued by all of this. Is that all what the article said?"

"Yes, it was a fascinating article. It gave a solid political and sociological analysis of why everything turned out the way it did. In spite of Verwoerd's high regard for science, technology and modernism, as an ideology apartheid was built on fantasy and myth. However, in reality apartheid ended by being based on a blatant, monstrous and deceitful lie. The Nationalist Party ideologists promised that the white Government was prepared to grant everything to blacks what whites demanded for themselves. However, all they ended giving us blacks was unfair racial segregation, vicious racial discrimination and nothing else worth mentioning. They used violence to impose racial segregation and discrimination on us. They actually imposed segregation and discrimination on us in such a way that it has only benefitted the whites." Geraldine elaborated.

"The real motivation for fabricating such a patent lie was pure undiluted self-centred racism. When all has been said and done, apartheid revolves only around pigmentation. Its core is rotten because deep down apartheid is motivated by pure racism. This is its raison d'etre. The words 'voortbestaan in geregtigheid' (self-determination of the volk under conditions that are just) has a hollow ring."

She looked at Aaron. He was listening attentively. She continued:

"Apartheid will ultimately be unable to guarantee the promises and hopes it has made to whites. Apartheid will not even secure mere survival for the whites. Dependency on black labour power for everything in South Africa will be the feet of clay under which the apartheid dream will eventually crumble to dust. Because of this fact, apartheid will eventually be consigned to the dustbin of history. It is the contradictions of existing apartheid that will result in its self-destruction. You cannot build an edifice of racial segregation and racial discrimination that preserves the selfish interests of whites on the foundation of an economy that cannot function for one day without black labour power. The whites including the Afrikaner are not self-sufficient, they are unable to sustain themselves economically without the exploitation of cheap black labour power. The whole country runs on black labour power. It would not last a single day without black labour power. To use a phrase from Karl Marx, we can clearly see that whites are unable to reproduce themselves without the appropriation of black surplus labour." Geraldine said, summing up things as bluntly as possible.

"Whites cannot sustain themselves as an autonomous independent isolated volk like the Jews managed to do for almost a 1000 years in Europe. Whites are too lazy. If they were genuinely serious about having complete power over their lives without at the same time oppressing blacks then they should have voluntarily withdrawn and isolated themselves in some homeland within the borders of South Africa or trekked off to somewhere else in the world. However, because they had become addicted to black labour for everything this was not an option they would ever seriously entertain. This is why the defence of apartheid ideology was always based on duplicity, denial, misrepresentation and plain lies," she added.

Aaron had to agree with everything Geraldine had said. After delivering her expanded and annotated summary of the newspaper article, she finally sat down on the couch. She nestled in his arms, pressing her body close against him. He smelt the fragrance of her neck. He nibbled her ear lobes, bit her neck lightly and then bit harder. She gasped. They began to smooch. Their tongues started probing. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to touch her breasts. He wanted to put his hand between her legs. Her breasts were so beautiful. Aaron saw them briefly in the moonlight. He had felt them firm and wet, pressed tightly against his chest. He remembered her legs clamped around his waist, her wet naked body pressed tightly against his as he carried her out of the water at Cinderella Dam. It was an unforgettable experience. The image of her naked body remained vivid in his mind. The image of her undressing stuck in his mind.

She felt Aarons arm shift, she felt his hand moving towards her breasts, she read his intentions, and she gently released herself from his embrace and drew slightly away.

"We can't my love. I love you so much and want to be touched by you, but we can't," she said, her eyes glowing warmly. She looked at him sympathetically. She wanted to surrender to herself to his roving hands.

She smiled with empathy: "You know my body wants you as well, it wants to be touched in those places, but we can't, you know that. I know that it will feel so good if you began to touch me in those places, but we can't. Once we start, we will not be able to stop. I know that if you touch me, we will go beyond the point of no return, and I will be unable to stop you and I will be unable to stop myself. I have dreamt of us making love. It was wonderful."

There was a sensual glow to her face. She squeezed his hand tightly and kissed him lightly on his lips. She got up from the sofa.

"Do you want some Oros?"

"Yes, that will be nice."

She came back with two glasses. She sat down next to him and started sipping her cool drink.

"And what do you make of Verwoerd?" She asked.

"Well he was an extremely popular leader among the Afrikaners. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that they adored him," Aaron said. "He was said to be an intellectual giant."

"Do you think he was an intellectual giant?"

"He must have been."

"How have the mighty fallen," she said.

They sat in silence sipping their Oros.

17

"How are you Unisa studies going?"

"I think the studies are going well. All I do is study, I am studying constantly in all my spare time. I have managed so far to get all my assignments in."

"In my recent Unisa philosophy of religion assignment we had to compare the Greek view of man as a dualistic being consisting of a mortal body containing a naturally immortal soul with the non-dualistic Hebrew view of man," she said.

She continued to expound on the Hebraic concept of man.

"In the Hebrew view of man derived from the Bible, man as a living human person who can only exists in the form of a conscious animated material body of flesh and blood, and not as an incarnate soul. In the Hebraic view of man the body does not contain an immortal soul. There is only the material body and nothing more. "

"The body/soul dualism leads to a world denying asceticism that depreciates the human body and the material order of the Cosmos that God has pronounced as good," she said.

"Do you know that C.S. Lewis said that God must have loved matter because he made so much of it," Aaron said.

"I like that," she replied with an appreciative chuckle, "so what do think about the existence of the soul?"

"I totally agree with the Hebrew view of man," said Aaron.

"It so interesting what happens when you add a soul to man's body. It has all kinds of implications which are completely contrary to the Hebraic conception of man as an indivisible unity. For example, the Platonic body/soul dualism actually severs man's natural and vitally essential relationship to the material Universe which is an absolutely necessary condition for him to experience his humanity in all of its authentic fullness. In this sense the body/soul dualism actually results in the dehumanization and degradation of man. Man cannot exist without a material body, he needs his material body of flesh and blood in order to see, hear, taste, feel, smell, touch, think, love, dance, sing and to pray. Man needs a material body of flesh and blood in order to have a relationship with God. Only a living animated conscious person can have a relationship with God. Death is the opposite of all of this, death is the opposite of the fullness of life, and the opposite of the fullness of life is the separation of God. We become separated from God in death, because death deprives us of the potential and opportunity of having a relationship with God. Only God can restore that potential and opportunity, by resurrecting our material bodies of flesh and blood," she said.

"I agree. The body is not an empty shell that can be discarded by an immortal soul when one dies, death is really the end, it is final, nothing remains after the body has died, there no is soul, nor is there a doorway through which the soul can escape death," Aaron

"Do you believe in the existence of an immortal soul," she asked.

"No, I stopped believing in the soul a long time ago," Aaron said.

"I also don't believe anymore that we have an immortal soul," she said.

"The concept of the soul, its assumed existence, its incarnation, its immortality, its purity or impurity, its descent from heaven and its heavenly ascent are central to Plato's philosophy. If you remove the idea of the soul and what is happening to the soul his whole system of philosophy and metaphysics will implode," Aaron noted.

"For example the concept of soul also plays an important role in Plato's theory of knowledge which is based on the soul's recollections of what is Goodness, Truth and Love from the occasion of its birth in the heavenly realm. In Plato's philosophy everything hinges on what is happening to the soul, whether the soul is descending to the earth or ascending to the heavenly realm of the Forms or Ideas or Universal, or whatever you want to call these concepts," he continued.

"Unfortunately the concept of the soul inherited from Hellenism has become part of the dogma of the Church," Geraldine said.

"I know, and like you said, the concept of the soul has devalued the importance of the material body," he said, "and the concept of the soul is at the root of the Grecian metaphysical denigration of women, which proposes that the origin and existence of women arose as a consequence of the soul sinking into a state of impurity and corruption following its incarnation into the bodies of men. So the bodies of women are the corrupted and impure versions of the bodies of men, so in this sense women are secondary beings, whereas men are primary beings. In Plato's Philosophy I have not found anything about the heavenly ascent of the souls of women, it is only the souls of men that are able to take flight and ascend up to the heavenly realm of the Forms. And the ascent of the masculine soul to heaven occurs through the de-eroticization of Eros," he said.

"I think I am going to become a feminist," she said laughing, "this idea that women bodies are the corrupted version of male bodies is the final straw, good-bye Plato, it has been nice knowing you, but I have made up my mind, I am going to be feminist."

"Well then I am going to be pro-feminism," Aaron said.

"I like that, I like a pro-feminist man.

"Well, while we are on the subject of how the concept of the soul of man became the source of misogyny, how can a Platonist like yourself be a pro-feminist man, it is contradiction .You cannot be Platonist and pro-feminism at the same time," she teased.

18

What did Aaron say before he left her aunt's home last Saturday night? He said that he was going to Brandkraal. He was spending most of his free time at Brandkraal. He kept on hinting that when her parents were away that she should spend the weekend at the farm with him.

But now that her parents were away he came to their home that night just after eight o' clock. It was the first time that he set foot in the actual home where she had been living since they became steady. She showed him her bedroom. He sat on her bed and looked at her things, her books, and he paged with interest through her study guides. She showed him her assignments and the marks that she had got for them.

He did not want to sit in the lounge. He said it would be disrespectful towards her parent. He felt more relaxed, less anxious as an intruder, when they went outside and sat on the lawn in the dark. She would go inside and make coffee and they would sit on the lawn under the stars sipping coffee.

While they lay on their sides on the lawn chatting, he brought up the topic of Eros as the focus of Plato's Symposium. He reminded her that Eros was defined as desire. Eros was desire. She had never thought that Eros was actually desire; it had never entered her mind.

According Aaron, Socrates' recantation in Plato's Phaedrus was triggered by the realization that authentic Eros or love involves genuine intimacy between the lover and the beloved rather than the egocentric, self-serving and utilitarian satisfaction of desire.

In Socrates palinode to love he confirms the divine origin of Erotic madness and compares love to other forms of divine madness.

And the soul, what about the soul? Descartes tried to prove the existence of the soul and also the existence of God. This much she knew. Had he succeeded, this was one of the questions she had to answer in the assignment.

In Plato's Phaedrus the soul was visualized by Socrates as a tripartite being consisting of a charioteer and two winged horses on a celestial journey. Once it is grasped that the authentic heavenward odyssey of Eros only becomes possible through genuine reciprocal intimacy then the difference between Agape and Eros dissolves with fulfilment of desire. The fulfilment of erotic desire is realized when the knowledge of the meaning everything is achieved through erotic perception. However this goal can only attained through the non-conditional, non-egocentric, non-utilitarian, non-exploitative relationship between the lover and his beloved.

Aaron discussed the question: Do we have to choose between Diotima and Alcibiades, do we have to expunge erotic desire and sexual entanglement from the hermeneutical reading of the Plato's Symposium and Phaedrus in order to save Platonic Eros in a sanitized de-erotized form. Can there ever be a disembodied non-erotic perception, a perception without sense organs, a non-sensuous perception, a bodiless perception, a perception without a body, can there ever be the 'sum' (I am) in the 'cogito, ergo sum', can there ever be an 'I am' without a body, can there ever be thinking without a body as in Descartes' Meditations, that is, can Descartes realization that 'I am something' be attained without any kind of erotic embodiment. According to Aaron: No! And Geraldine agree fully.

"Can there ever be thinking without Eros?" Geraldine wanted to know.

She concluded that this, the relationship between Eros and Thinking, would have to be the focus of any discussion between Plato and Descartes, should Descartes and Plato accidently bump into each other on the streets of Boksburg.

So now whenever her parents went away, they would meet at Geraldine's home. It became their custom to sit in the dark in the garden. Often they would sit in silence, in the dark, listening to the sounds of the night. Her parents away in Durban or Pietermaritzburg or in somewhere else.

On this occasion they had lapsed into silence after their discussion on the relative meanings of Eros according to Diotima and Alcibiades.

Late that night, Alcibiades arrived at the dinner party, it was on the occasion of the Symposium, and he arrived with a great hullabaloo, in the company of flute playing slave girls. Aaron was intrigued with the symbolism of the pipe playing girls. He speculated about the significance of these flute playing slave girl(s) who had first been sent away and were now returning to the Symposium. With the arrival of Alcibiades and the flute playing slave girls the drinking party began in earnest. Aaron had taken Classical Life and Thought as his obligatory art subject. She could see that he was enjoying it immensely. He liked to speak about the Greeks.

It was a comfortable silence. The chirping of the crickets, the croaking of the frogs, grew louder, and louder. Somewhere in the veld across from her home they could hear the pi pi pi pipi, whee-yu-ee, calling sounds of a pair of Spotted Dikkops. In the distance, the metallic hammer striking anvil alarm calls of a family of Blacksmith Plovers punctuated the night. Something must have had disturbed them.

They then lay on their backs on the cool lawn, the night was warm, the air still, not a breeze stirred, not a rustle of a leaf anywhere, and they stared up at the night sky. They kept on asking each other: 'Are you sleeping.' She struggled to say awake, she felt exhausted. The work as a seamstress and the studying were taking their toll. Drowsily she asked what the time was. It was one o' clock in the morning.

He wasn't feeling tired. He knew that he was not going to sleep. He felt extremely alert. The moon was so high in the sky. It looked huge. Aaron said he did not want to go home. He was going to sleep at Brandkraal; he earned pocket money for his work on the farm. It sounded funny to Geraldine when he spoke about the pocket money which he earned.

They hugged and kissed before he left. She watched him drive away. At the end of Middle Road Aaron turned right into Commissioner Street. The streets were empty almost ghostly quiet. He turned into Rondebult road and drove until he reached a dirt road surrounded by fields of tall standing maize.

19

A hare run in front of the car, zig-zagging in the headlights for a while. Aaron drove until he came to a steep rise in the road. It was the only hillock sticking out of the flat landscape. He parked the car on top of the small hill. He dozed off in the front seat. Just before dawn he woke up, he decided to watch the sun rise. In the darkness before the break of dawn, a barn owl alighted on a fence pole near the car. It swivelled it head and stared at Aaron with its huge yellow eyes.

In the distance, a rooster began to crow. The eastern horizon began to glow reddish and orange. In the first dim light of dawn, he could make out the silhouettes of an approaching herd of cattle. The sounds of lowing, whips cracking and the sharp whistles of the drovers grew louder. He got out of the car to watch the approaching herd.

The herders doffed their floppy hats and greeted Aaron with a "More Baas" (good morning boss).

He returned their greeting, waving his hand in a salute while saying, "More, More".

It was turning out to be one of those magnificent Highveld late summer mornings. The maize stood high, row upon row, as far as the eye could see. In the distance, he could just make out the dim rectangular outlines of the slimes dams on the outskirts of Nigel, Dunnottar and Springs. Further to the south, the outlines of the rolling hills of the Suikerbosrand grew sharper. In the grassy plains, spreading out from the foot of the hills in the morning sun turned the sea of Themeda triandra grassland into a soft pink colour. A gentle refreshingly cool morning breeze blew across the maize fields. Aaron listened to the rustling sound of the maize leaves. He knew it was going to be another scorching January day that would end with a Highveld thunderstorm. His thoughts turned to Geraldine lying snug in her bed, sleeping a deep peaceful sleep.

He climbed back in the car and drove to Brandkraal the farm that Max, Mr Whitehead and Mr Noble had bought. He had been working there almost every weekend. During the University holidays he would stay on the farm, living in the old farmhouse. Cattle, pigs and broilers were been raised on an intensive scale for slaughter. The farm had become a thriving enterprise. The flow of waste and spoiled food from the ERPM Compounds formed a large part of the diet of the animals.

From the newly constructed stable complex for racehorses a long line of thoroughbreds were being ridden by the crew of stable boys to the dirt exercise track that encircled a vast field of lucerne. Under the watchful eye of the trainer, the horses walked, trotted, cantered and galloped around the 2000 m track. The horses were stabled at the Brandkraal livery for a fee, providing another revenue stream flowing into the coffers of Brandkraal Pty Ltd.

The lucerne was high and ready for mowing.

20

One afternoon as she worked on the sewing machine she began to explore the question, 'what does it really mean to believe in God, what is it to believe in God'?

The ideas of the nature of idolatry kept on intruding into her mind. If it was so easy to slip into idolatry and believe in the god that is compatible with one's own preconceptions then what does mean to believe in the one true God. How is it possible to really believe truthfully in the one true God and not the idol that readily and comfortably conforms to all the preconceptions on how one thinks God should work in support of all your schemes, wishes and desires?

Surely to believe in God is not the same as believing in the proposition that God exists, it must require more than this, she thought. Thinking about what it meant to believe in God also became Geraldine's Lenten mediation. Throughout Lent she exercised reflective mindfulness on this question.

Another thought crossed her mind. If you confess that you believe in God, how do know that do not really believe in God, but what you actually believe in is the god of your own creation, an idol which you have manufactured to suit your prejudices on what God should be like, and to suit your own impressions of reality. You could falsely believe that your god, the idol that you have manufactured, is indeed God. How can you know that your god is not the true God? Idolatry involves the belief in and the worshipping of a false god.

As a student of English literature she was beginning to the read the Gospel with new eyes. In the Gospel of John, she became aware of the portrayal Jesus as a figure who defied all preconceptions Jesus, who seemingly insignificant in the eyes of the political elite, strode onto the stage of history as an extremely provocative and dramatic figure, who without an army armed with swords, inspired the growth of a movement of believers, who recognized that he was truly God.

"Very truly I tell you," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born I am!" At this, they picked up stones to stone him.
On hearing Jesus claiming to be God, they felt compelled to stone him, because they were convinced that they believed in the only God, but here was this man saying something which implied that he was God.

How could it be that these devoutly religious men, who were picking up stones, believe that they indeed believed in the one and only true God when they could not recognize God? Yet while they believed that they believed in the one and only true God, they were unable to recognize the one and only true God when occasion presented itself. When they came face to face with the one and only true God, who had become incarnate for their sake, so that they could see him, see him as God standing before them, perceive him in a material form, there was no possibility that they could know that this was the true God in whom they putatively believed in, who was now present before them? So if they did not believe in Jesus, God incarnate, then in reality they did not actually believe in God. Instead they believed in a god, an idol, a social construct, who was not God. By picking up stones they became idolaters.

It was impossible for them to believe in the one and only true God, instead they believed in something else, an idol. If Jesus was God incarnate, then they were idolaters. Was it possible that so many religious people actually do really not believe in God? Was it possible that instead of believing in God, they believed in an idol? How could they know this? How could they know that they did not actually believe in God? How can anyone know that they actually don't believe in God, but believe in something else instead?

She thought and thought about how one could slip into a concrete act of idolatry without even knowing it. How could you know that your all beliefs are not based on a false belief in God? Belief in God is more than intellectual assent to ideas about God. It has been said that the modern words 'to believe' originally meant 'to belove' as in having a loving relationship. If we love someone we demonstrate our love by caring about what is important to that person. If we love someone we do not do bad things to them. She recalled the words:

'Amen I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me'.

In a real sense to believe in God actually means to belove God. But we only realize our love for God in a meaningful way by loving our neighbour in practical ways. We can only really believe in God when we always try to do good and not evil towards those who are considered the least of the people.

In her reflections and meditation, she was also aware that her own life was full of contradictions. The bag that she kept under her chair in the garment factory was filled with dress making material that she had bought from the Indian shop, AK Bazaars, in Commissioner Street. She had become a fast and efficient seamstress. To supplement her income, she managed to secretly cut and sew up one to two dresses every week during work time from the material in her bag. She prayed silently to herself as she secretly worked on her private dress making venture during working hours. Every now and then while sewing she would briefly and discreetly symbolically beat her breast softly while begging God for forgiveness. She prayed perpetually throughout the day, 'Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner.'

She would try to rationalize with God by pleading that she was only reaping for herself from the edges of the field, that she was only gathering the gleanings of the harvest, that she was only picking up the grapes that had fallen to the ground. She spoke softly to God, 'dear Lord, Sonny Colbert is extracting surplus value from us, he is making huge profits, and our wages are pathetic, we are being exploited.' Other times she would pray, 'forgive me dear Lord for being such a hypocrite.'

But she knew in her heart that she was stealing from Sonny Colbert's Garment Factory.

When her mood lifted she whispered as the machines around her buzzed and whirred,

'Dear God, Master of the Universe, I love you.'

21

At five o clock the shrill factory siren signalled the end of another working day. The women would quickly packed up before clocking out. After clocking out they streamed out through the factory gate, falling into a long queue by the bus stop.

In the afternoons after work, she would always take the Middel Road route home from the bus stop in Commissioner Street. She would walk down Middel Road, from the Middel Road/Commissioner Street intersection towards Cinderella Dam and the new Reiger Park Coloured location. Her afternoon route home took her past the blue gum tree. At the tree she would always stop to check for any messages from Aaron or she would post a communication to Aaron. Or she would check if Aaron had taken the message that she had posted.

After supper she would retire to her bedroom where she would do her Unisa work. She was disciplined, diligent, and always focused when it came to her studies. She viewed her studies as critically important. In her mind, they were the means, the vehicle, the bridge, the gateway, the key, for her to escape from her current situation, to escape so that she could enjoy a life of happiness with Aaron without any hindrances. Being in a secure and committed relationship with Aaron helped her to maintain a strict daily regime of work and study. Sticking to this routine gave her not only a sense of purpose, but also a genuine feeling of well-being. The Unisa studies helped to take away her feelings of helplessness. It gave her a sense of agency, a sense of being in control of her destiny, a feeling of empowerment.

Aaron had replied to her message on the problem of evil a day after she had posted it in the tree. She unrolled the note and re-read what he had written.

My Lovely Geraldine,

I found you what you written very thought provoking and it really got my mind going. After some thinking and meditation on the matter I have managed to draft the following response:

I like your ideas about the two realms, the realm of morality and the realm of nature. I think they are very fitting for any discussion on the problem of evil. I also like the idea that the realm of nature is the realm of necessity and that the realm of morality is the realm of freedom. I would add that if the nature is the realm of necessity then the realm of morality is also the realm of contingency. Your idea of nature being the realm of necessity has given me an idea on the way one can view the problem of evil from within an evolutionary theoretical framework. This is important because if you accept the theory of evolution then how do you accommodate the idea of the realm morality with the biological evolution of man.

Nature as the realm of necessity is also the arena in which evolution including the evolution of emergent properties such as the capacity for an agent to consciously exercise free will with respect to the selection of choices and also for the agent to be consciously aware of the possible consequences that may arise from the actions that follow from his choices. The realm of freedom with the potential for the occurrence of evil emerges as a possibility from the realm of necessity. It is a kind of axiom of the realm of freedom that freedom of choice cannot be combined with the inability to do evil, in the same way that no number exists which exactly equals the square root of two, and no entity exists which is a square triangle or square circle. The fact that God cannot do what is logically impossible or completely absurd does not in any way restrict or limit His omnipotence. God cannot cease to God. God is identical to his essence which includes the inviolability the laws of logic and mathematics. God did not invent the laws of logic and mathematics as a free decision, nor does any law of nature or rule of logic exist independently of God, or exist in itself as something in spite of God being there, or irrespective of God being there. Furthermore, the existence of these laws or rules is not the result of an arbitrary decision that God just happened to have made, simply because He felt like it, on the mere fiat of whim as it were. In first chapter of Genesis the words 'letting there be', is an expression of Gods essence and not an exercise of divine whim. These laws are integral to His nature; they are part of His essence. His omnipotence does not entail whimsical feats of magic such as inventing two contradictory laws that happen to be both true. No laws of nature or logic or mathematics or morality have been established by God by arbitrary decree. They are not divine degrees they are an integral part of His nature. God acts in accordance with His nature which includes the laws of nature, of logic and mathematics.

It was Martin Luther who wrote: God is He for Whose will no cause or ground may be laid down as its rule and standard; for nothing is on a level with it or above it, but it is itself the rule for all things. If any rule or standard, or cause or ground, existed for it, it would no longer be the will of God. What God wills is not right because He ought, or was bound, so to will; on the contrary, what takes place must be right, because He so wills it. Causes and grounds are laid down for the will of the creature, but not for the will of the Creator, unless you set another Creator over him.

PS. Since you studying Calvin, I thought I would let Martin Luther also have he say on the matter.

Missing you and thinking of your all the time. Hoping to see you soon.

Love Aaron

She folded the note and put it the box with all the other notes that he had written to her.

22

As Geraldine lay in bed, she could not sleep; thoughts about the nature of sinfulness returned to her. She tried to think logically about what constitutes sin. Obviously sin represents an offence against God. The commission of an offence, which is sin, must necessarily involve a transgression or a violation of God's Law. God's law is summarized in the Ten Commandments. Thinking about the Ten Commandments she realized in both instances, Exodus 20:1 – 17 and Deuteronomy 5: 4- 21, the statement of the Ten Commandments are prefaced with the words: "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery."

The first three Laws deal directly with man's relationship with God. The fourth Law deals with the keeping of the Sabbath. The fifth Law deals with honouring one's parents. Laws 6 to 10 deal with relationships between persons. Six Laws, which include honouring your parents, deal with relationships between people, and all six can fall under the rubric of what it means to love your neighbour as yourself. One Law deals with the Sabbath and the remaining three deals with loving God with all your mind, soul, heart and strength. The idea of sin and its reality has to be elaborated in terms of the Ten Commandments, which can be reduced to two commandments, loving God and loving your neighbour, two sides of the same.

To transgress any one of the six commandments which in essence requires that everyone should love their neighbour as themselves necessarily involves harming one's neighbour and turning him into a victim. To harm any person who is made in the image of God, involves harming God's token bearer, which represents an indirect attempt to harm God and is thereby a violation of the first three Commandments.

An idea came into her mind. All sin always involves the commission of violations or transgressions which are never victimless actions; to sin inevitably involves harming someone. No sin is victimless. No sin is committed without someone being harmed. She thought about the story of the rich man.

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments."

"Which ones?" he inquired. Jesus replied, ''You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honour your father and mother, and love your neighbour as yourself."

"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

When the disciples heard this, they were astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible?"

She had a sudden flash of insight. There was a tremendous irony in this story. It is impossible to live our lives without harming others! Because of this it is impossible for man to be saved through good deeds. The young rich man had lied. He had not kept the commandments. He could not have kept the commandments. It would have been impossible for him not break key commands regarding those linked to loving one's neighbour. It is impossible to accumulate wealth without unequal exchange between the owners of labour power who sells their labour to the owner of the means of wealth creation. This is the key, she thought, the young rich man was indeed a thief, he had to have stolen labour power, from servants and slaves. As long as the ancient world depended on the labour power of slaves, the rich were thieves; hence they could not enter the kingdom of heaven. It is impossible for the rich to enter the kingdom of God, to be rich it is necessary to break God's commandments. The rich had to be thieves, they had to steal the lives of men, and they had to steal their labour power in order to accumulate wealth, just like Karl Marx had argued in 'Das Kapital'.

She smiled in the dark and thought, it is such an irony, Karl Marx was indeed a genius to have coined the phrase: 'Capital is dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks'.

Man is trapped in sin. There is no escape. His situation is far more serious than John Calvin could have ever imaged. She thought to herself that even John Calvin's idea of total depravity missed the mark. He had no idea about the actual gravity and depth of man's situation regarding his inability to escape sin through harming others. Sin was built into the very fabric of man's social relationships. It is impossible to love one's neighbour as oneself. It is impossible not live in a state of perpetuate sin. It is impossible to be saved. The disciples were right. Who could be saved?

No one could be saved. Only God can save. "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery."

It was not spiritual slavery, it was actual slavery.

A week later when she saw Aaron she told him about her thoughts. He agreed with everything she told him. After attending mass protest meeting and listening to many speeches by the leaders of National Union of South African Students (NUSAS) on the apartheid situation, he added Karl Marx to the list of books that interested him. He had already read Marx's Capital volume 1 when Geraldine spoke to him.

He said that he believed that Marx was basically right in his thesis that capital in an unregulated capitalist economy will accumulate in fewer and fewer hands and eventually as little as 1% of the world's population would end up owning all of the world's wealth.

But he argued that Marxism as an ideology in the heads of Communists was fundamentally a fantasy, like apartheid. Like the apartheid ideologists Marxists also believed in magic. By a kind of amazing magic, the Communists believed that following the abolition of the private ownership of the means of production in the form of machines, factories, mines, and land, human beings would miraculously cease to be selfish, all their individual interest would coincide in perfect harmony, and everyone would love their neighbours as themselves, and the wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.

Geraldine with tears streaming from her eyes nearly split her sides laughing at Aaron's dry sense of humour.

When she pressed him further on why he thought that Communism was unworkable he said that it was the mathematics that persuaded him.

He said that he had by chance come across the work of the Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises who showed with compelling arguments that the central planners of a socialist economy faced incredibly complicated, intractable and insoluble economic calculations with respect to economic pricing and rational resource allocation. Their failure to perform the impossible socialist economic calculation would in the long run result in socialist economies imploding into complete catastrophe.

"So there is no solution?" she asked.

"Yes there is no solution, both unregulated capitalism and socialism with end up as economic disasters," he said with a serious look on his face.

23

Open Universe

"I distinctly remember you saying that the Universe is causally open. This means that the future is not completely predetermined. It means that the future can be contingent in many alternative ways, like so many forks in the road. It also means that the future has no existence even for God. Things can happen for no apparent reason other than by accident, or this is how it seems to us. So I am proposing that if the Universe is indeed causally open and the future is not preordained then we need to understand God in terms of a theology that is radically different from the classical theology of St Augustine," Geraldine proposed as she discussed her assignment on reconciling God's omniscience and omnipotence with human free will.

"The future has no existence even for God, that is quite a radical proposal," Aaron remarked.

"Yes it is. The unformed future is also unknown. If the future does not existence even for God, then the future is also completely unknown even for God, this allows for God to be free. By allowing the future to be unknown he creates the necessary conditions for his own freedom, and this idea is also consistent with the idea that God is unchanging or immutable," Geraldine elaborated.

"But God also acts in ways that are always consistence with His essence, with His true nature; He is not a voluntaristic God that is completely unintelligible and incomprehensible, He must still be the God of infinite reason," Aaron said.

"Precisely, I don't think we should conceive God as a voluntaristic being whose actions are ultimately arbitrary and unintelligible," she agreed

"If God was a voluntaristic being whose actions were ultimately arbitrary, contingent and unintelligible then God would be completely unfathomable to human reason," he responded.

"Yes, if all the laws that govern the operation of the Universe and Logic and Mathematics were purely a product of the arbitrary contingent act of God's will then there would exist no rational link between the mind of God and the mind of man, God would be truly unknowable, truly incomprehensive, and completely unintelligible. This is what is logically implied by Descartes in his Meditations. Descartes felt that in order for God be an omnipotent and omniscient being he had to be absolutely free, and to be absolutely free God could not be bound or limited or constrained by anything, not even by reason or the laws of logic or the laws of mathematics. There are no laws of logic or laws of mathematics or nature which exist necessarily and inviolably in their own right independently of God's will and God's essence. If any law or rule exists necessarily, inviolably and independently of God' will and essence, then they would place an external limitations on His omnipotence and omniscience. The status of laws and rules of logic, mathematics and nature has been a problematic issue for many philosophers and theologians. According to Descartes all logical laws and rules are arbitrary and contingent creations of God's free will. If God chose to do otherwise then two plus three would not equal five and we would also have square circles," Geraldine said.

"OK, lets us set aside the idea that God is a voluntaristic being. Let also accept the idea that God's omnipotence and omniscience is not limited or bounded or constrained in any way by allowing the future to be unknowable, un-preordained and un-predetermined. This means that God is still absolutely free, and His absolute freedom is compatible with human free will. It is also consistent with the idea that creation is continuous and the Universe being causally open in the sense of infinite possibilities, which could arise contingently. Alternatively, even if the Universe were causally closed, an idea consistent with invariance of the laws and rules of logic, mathematics and nature, a physically closed Universe would still exist as a Universe of infinite possibility, which is also consistent with God's omnipotence and omniscience," Aaron proposed.

"I agree with idea that creation is a continuous process. Creation is definitely not a once and for all event that happened long ago. The whole of creation is in state of becoming. God is engaged in creation as a continuous temporal process, so God must somehow also have a relationship to temporality, to time in fact. How should we conceive this? " she mused.

"Do you think time exists?" Aaron asked.

"Yes I do, why shouldn't I?" She asked in surprise.

"I don't think time is something that exists independently of God. Maybe God creates time continuously. Maybe if God did not create the future continuously we and the whole Universe would just vanish into nothingness. If there were no future or no future moments coming into existence we could not exist, we could not endure as temporal beings, and we are definitely temporal beings," she said.

"It seems that the future has to continuously come into existence in order for us to exist. The nature of time and source or the origin of time is central to everything," Aaron said.

"That is true, but the question of time does seem to arise in theology. The Universe was not created in time, but was co-created with time. If the Universe had a definite beginning then surely time also had a definite beginning, maybe time begins afresh with every passing moment," Geraldine replied.

"Maybe there is no such thing as empty time, maybe time is built into the very fabric of the Universe, maybe it is the condition of causality underlying the Universe being in state of continuous becoming and change," Aaron said.

"That is interesting, why cannot there be any empty time, with time just ticking away in a complete void containing nothing, where nothing takes place or where nothing exists? How does time really work?" She asked.

"No one is sure what time is or how time works. Maybe time, space and matter can only coexistent concurrently and not separately or independently. We all have an intuitive idea of time. We use clocks to measure what we call time. It seems that time has a direction, so we can talk about the arrow of time, especially in terms of entropy and thermodynamics. We also have the idea that time is irreversible. We cannot bring back the past," he said.

"Another thing to consider about the relationship between temporality and the unknowability of the future is this whole thing about being able to pray and talk to God. If God's omnipotence and omniscience means that everything about the future were completely preordained, completely predetermined and therefore completely known in advance by God then God would know all our prayers before they are actually prayed. God would be a ventriloquist. Also if God existed only outside time and if God had no temporal dimension or relation to time or temporality then it would be impossible to have a dialogue with God, God is the condition of possibility for the thing we call temporality, it is not incorrect to reason or infer or logically deduce that if time exists by virtue of God, then God in his being is time, Jesus is the alpha and the omega, he is the beginning and the end," she said.

"If we can have a genuine dialogue with God then God while being timeless must be able to experience temporality, especially in terms of one word following after the next as it would be in speech. If God actually listens to our dialogue or prayers then He must be capable of experiencing the sequential temporal succession of events," he said.

"While God is timeless, time itself as something is contingent. Time is contingent because it depends on God for its existence. God sustains time in the same way he sustains the Universe," she said.

"Human history is not governed by iron laws," she also concluded.

24

Geraldine Spanish's proficiency was becoming remarkable. She began to dream that once she and Aaron had finished studying they would spend a year travelling through South America on a dollar a day. They would visit Brazil during the Rio Carnival. They would then visit Paraguay, Uruguay, Argentina and Chile. Of course, they would stay for a lengthy period in Buenos Aires dancing the nights away.

For Geraldine Spanish proficiency had become a license to freedom. And freedom for her was to be found in South America. Somehow she believed that because she could dance the Tango and other Latin dances and speak Spanish she would be enveloped in the warm embrace of Latin America.

She started speaking to Aaron in Spanish whenever she could. He also began to study Spanish as best as he could with her help. He had also bought a copy of the Berlitz Spanish Phrase Book. He also bought a massive Spanish-English dictionary and a huge book on Spanish grammar, so huge that it could be used as a doorstop.

Aaron began to take Geraldine's fantasy of touring South America quite seriously. The fantasy became increasing fuelled by his growing addiction to the Tango. He had started collecting Tango records and was now listening to Tango music at every opportunity. For past straight six weeks, Aaron and Geraldine saw each other almost every Friday and Saturday night at her aunt's house. Her aunt and uncle had a full schedule of non-European dancing events in many of the Locations right across the Pretoria- Witwatersrand-Vereeniging regions of the Transvaal.

They practiced their Spanish. They even started composing messages to each other in Spanish. On the train journey home every day Aaron studied his Spanish phrase book. He managed to memorize a number of stock phrases for basic communication in Spanish.

The last note that he retrieved from the blue gum was an invitation from Geraldine. Its simple message read as follows:

Querido Senor Aaron,

It gives me the greatest pleasure to invite you as my very special guest to the Milonga at 27 Drommedaris Street Reiger Park Buenos Aires Argentina at 8.30 pm Saturday night. Attire: Please dress smartly in jacket and tie. I must apologize I do not speak very good English.

Todo mi amor

Senorita Geraldine

She had set the date for that special evening which she wanted for so long. After reading Geraldine's letter, he composed his reply, rolled it around her letter and inserted the rolled papers into hole. She had kept every message that they had posted to each other. She had a hidden box filled with their correspondence.

He posted his reply in the trunk of the blue gum tree:

Querida Senorita Geraldine,

Thank you for your kind invitation. It is an honour and pleasure for me to accept your invitation to the Milonga in Drommedaris Street Reiger Park Buenos Aires Argentina. I shall be there promptly at 8.30 pm suitably attired as requested. I must apologize for my poor Spanish. However I shall endeavour to learn all the Spanish words and phrases that would be most essential and necessary for us to spend a most pleasant evening together in each other's company.

Yo tambiénte amo

Senor Aaron

25

That Saturday evening he packed a pair of black shoes into a rucksack. After carefully folding a red tie, a white shirt, his black suit in a neat square pile he then carefully placed the clothes into a kit bag. Aaron still always travelled on his bicycle to see Geraldine at her aunt's house. A car parked outside the aunt's home would not go unnoticed. They would be in the house and not lying on the lawn, so they would not be able to see what was going on in the streets of Reiger Park.

Rachel and Max never queried his comings and goings on weekends. Aaron would just inform that he was going out. As dusk descended he rode down Middel Road to Cinderella Dam.

Under the dark shadows of the blue gum trees, he changed into his suit. It was possible that this evening she had decided on 8.30 pm in order to have sufficient time to get ready and to make sure that her young cousin Sharon would be sound asleep.

To pass time he recited all the Spanish phrases that he had committed to memory.

Two eagle owls began to hoot in the tree above him. It had been an unusually hot day for this time of the year. It was a warm evening, warm enough for the crickets and tettigoniids to start chirping. The volume of the chirping rose and fell. Their chirping rose steadily to a crescendo loud enough to drown the soft background croaking of the frogs.

The night was pregnant with enticement. The singing of the sirens drowned all precautions.

In the dark, the usual diurnal visual sexual lures of colour, shape and size are replaced by the nocturnal auditory sexual lures. Crickets generate auditory sexual signals by frictional stridulation. Stridulation in crickets involved the rubbing of a file like structure on one of the wings with another structure on the other wing called a scrapper. For a moment, a surreal image flashed through Aaron's mind of thousands of frictional stridulations creating everywhere small showers of sparks, which began to set the night ablaze. The shrill high-pitched chirp chirrup chirruping of crickets and tettigoniids went on unabatedly. Everywhere amorous fires burnt brightly. In the dark passions glowed white-hot. The heat of desire filled the air.

Tonight it did not seem be an over exaggeration that the entire Universe throbbed with sexual energy. Everywhere the world seemed to tremble in anticipation of an erotic union. In the intermittent lulls of silence between the chirping of the crickets, he could make out the short rapid kik-kik-kik-kik-kik croaks of the Common River Frog, which without fail always ended its call with a funny but very distinctive keroip. Lately he had been hearing the same croaking sound of the Common River Frog coming from the fishpond near his bedroom window. Aaron suddenly remembered the bottle of cologne that he had bought along. He felt for the bottle of Canoe Splash Cologne in the bag.

In Niko Tinbergen's book on The Study of Instinct Aaron had read that there was no randomness or contingency to an animal's behavioural repertoire. Any animal, vertebrate or invertebrate, responds like a pre-programmed machine to suites of internal physiological triggers and external stimuli acting on its sense organs. To visual, auditory and olfactory stimuli predicable responses are always elicited, necessity reigns in determining what the animal will do from moment to moment.

As his eyes became more accustomed to the dark he could make out the jagged silhouette of the tall Phragmites reed bed near the beach. If anyone had asked him what would make Cinderella dam an eerie place at night he would say the reed beds. A couple of years ago Aaron and his friends had spent an enjoyable day at the beach and he suggested that they should spent the night at the beach. Just before sunset, they all raced to their respective homes on their bicycles to fetch a tent, sleeping bags, torches, fishing rods, matches, food and cool drinks. When Aaron told Rachel of their plans to camp at the beach at Cinderella she almost had fit.

He could still remember her saying: "Over my dead body are you and your friends going to camp overnight at Cinderella dam. Have you gone completely out of your mind? What about the Coloureds in Reiger Park they will rob and murder you!"

She immediately phoned up Carlos', Dominic's and Gavin's mothers, because she guessed that they may have made up a story that they were going to camp in one of the friend's backyard.

Now tonight Aaron smiled to himself, he was practically camping at the beach next to the tall reed beds at Cinderella Dam. He was waiting to see a Coloured girl at Reiger Park. What an irony he thought to himself. As kids they were filled with fear and loathing towards the Coloureds. Now everything that was valuable, meaningful and beautiful to him was centred round a young Coloured woman. He had been on the wrong side of Coloured gangs from primary school days and now he had become a regular illegal nocturnal visitor to the same Coloured location. He had joined the Coloureds.

Aaron looked up at the Milky Way stretched across the dome of the solar system; it seemed to him that multiple contingent events had conspired together since the dawn of time to make the magical experience of dancing the Tango with Geraldine a reality tonight. Ninety nine percent of the visible matter of the Universe consists of hydrogen and helium. The rest of the elements of the Period Table make up the minute remaining one percentages of the visible matter in the Universe. Humans as conscious beings had mysteriously and inexplicitly emerged out of the stardust of the Universe. Could this be because of God? Was God's existence the ultimate condition that made all this possible? To have doubts is good. As a Catholic, he believed that the whole of reality was sacred. He did not believe in a split between nature and grace.

26

It was almost 8.25 pm. Aaron decided to ride slowly to 27 Drommedaris. At 8.30, he knocked gently on the door.

Geraldine immediately opened the door. She was dressed in her Tango custom. She also wore stiletto heels, suspenders and sheer stockings.

She had styled her long black hair in traditional Tango fashion. Leaving no fringe covering her forehead, she had pulled her hair tightly back from her forehead making it smooth, shiny and sleek by tightly plaiting the ponytail and wrapping into a tight bun at the back of her head. The base of her makeup was perfect, accentuating her smooth flawless skin. She had applied a very faint coral blush and light gold tint to her cheeks. She had frosted her lips with burgundy lipstick. On her eyelids, she had applied a prune shade of eye shadow and black mascara. At the corners of her eyes near her noise bridge, she applied a tiny bit of gold mascara on the inside of the black mascara.

Aaron stared at her in astonishment; her beauty took his breath away. He made a slight bow and said

"Buenas noches."

Smiling she answered: "Buenas noches."

He said, "¿Cómo estás?" (How are you)

Still smiling broadly, her sparkling eyes filled with mystery and humour, she answered: "Yo estoy bien gracias y ¿cómo estás" (I am fine thank you and how are you)."

He answered, "Muy bien, gracias." (Very well thank you)

He then said, "Te ves hermosa y su vestido es exquisite." (You look beautiful and your dress is exquisite)

She replied, "Gracias a usted y usted también mira esta noche muy guapo." (Thank you and you also look very handsome tonight)

He then said, "Qué estupendo tiempo. es hermosa noche" (What lovely weather. It is a beautiful night)

Then with a clearly amused look on her face, she asked: "Cree que va a nevar?" (Do you think it is going to snow?)

Aaron burst out laughing, he found her question extremely funny. He answered, "No estoy seguro." (I am not sure).

It was her turn to laugh. Then she asked: "Vamos a ir dentro de la discoteca de tango." (Should we go inside the Tango nightclub).

Aaron followed her into the lounge. Both of them felt as if they were acting out roles in an unscripted play, inventing their characters, parts and lines in an impromptu fashion by stringing together whatever collection of Spanish words and phrases that they could remember from their very limited vocabulary.

Once in the lounge she then announced while pointing to a pile of records still in their jackets stacked on the chair next to the radio and turntable:

"Como se puede ver que ha seleccionado nuestra música para la noche." (As you can see I have selected our music for the evening)

She walked over to the chair, took the LP from the top, removed a record from its folder and placed it onto the turntable. She carefully brought the stylus down onto the track and adjusted the volume.

Aaron then hopefully asked her, "Habla ingles?"

Keeping an impassively straight face she answered, "Yo no comprende o no habla Inglés." (I don't understand or speak English)

Still keeping a straight face, she said, "Esta noche sólo se pueden comunicar entre sí en el lenguaje del tango." (Tonight we can only communicate to each other in the language of the Tango)

All Aaron could manage, as an answer was, "Si."

She flashed a brief smile at Aaron, and then turned around to check the record player, the music began to play. Aaron listened to the music. There were about 4 beats per bar. He knew that dancing the Tango with Geraldine they would count 8 beats. They would do all their Tango steps in 8 beats. His brain and body were conditioned to act on pure reflex. He did not have to think about slow, slow, quick, quick, slow, it was now automatic. The tempo was about 30 bars per minute. It was not too fast.

She walked up to Aaron and stood in front of him in a stance indicating that she was ready and waiting for him to invite her to dance and take the lead. She inclined her and raised an eyebrow, the expression on her face seemed to state, 'well here I am, I am waiting for you.' Aaron hesitated while she stood in front him, a faint smile formed on her lips, he stepped forward, without needing any further prompting.

She was now some strange woman sitting at a table in a Tango night club in Buenos Aires. He had just walked into the night nightclub and saw her. Their eyes met. He indicated with a slight nod whether she would like to dance with him. She had got up in response to his invitation. The invitation of a stranger. The stranger walked over to her. He was now standing in front of her.

She looked sultry; the expression on her face was seductive. The Tango custom fitted her body like a glove accentuating the shape, curves, and contours of her body, accentuating the perfect proportions of her breasts, waist and hips.

The stylus moved along the vinyl tracks of the record. The music started to fill the room. It was powerful, dramatic, emotional, intense, sensual and erotic. Aaron could hear the accordion, the violin, the complex guitar breaks, and the compelling rhythm. He recognized it immediately. From information on the back of the LP jacket it was called Paradise for three hours. It was a piece for music from a film called L'amore in cittá.

He stared at the golden crucifix hanging just above her cleavage. He could not help gazing at the high swollen rounded dark mounds of the exposed parts of her breasts. He also looked at the long slit ending close to top of her thigh, exposing the curves of her shapely stocking legs also accentuated by the stilettos. He could see the top of her stocking, the suspender clips, the triangle of black naked skin of her thigh the above her stockings. The heady fragrance of her perfume filled the room. She was exquisitely beautiful. Aaron suddenly realized that he found her and their situation extremely erotic.

He was now in the milonga. He allowed himself to sink into a deep reverie and he began to imagine participating in the following tableau:

"She could see that I was attracted to her. She was obviously attracted to me. Two strangers drawn to each by some mysterious chemistry of mutual attraction. She could read the unspoken signs that the man who had just walked in had immediately found her desirable. And she acted like a woman her knew that she was desirable because she knew she was beautiful. Tonight she was a woman who was conscious of her own beauty, aware that she was physically attractive, she knew that the stranger standing in front of her found her alluring, but at the same she was also intrigued and captivated by this mysterious and handsome stranger who had just walked into the nightclub. Keeping a straight face she inclined her head towards him and raised one of her eye brows as if to ask 'well here I am standing in front of you, the music is playing, are you not going to ask me dance."

Aaron remembered everything she had said about the mood for the Tango. It should be passionate, dramatic, intense, erotic, but also full of pathos. This was the enigma, the paradox of the Tango; the Tango was like life itself. When they danced the Tango, she reminded him that they were dancing the drama of human life lived to its fullest with its ecstasy and its inevitable agonies. The sweetness of life lived in the constant shadow of melancholy, this was the Tango. She would always remind him to listen to the music and try to feel the mood.

In the meantime, Geraldine had submerged herself into her role and character as the mysterious beautiful Tango dancer, and he could sense this, he also let himself go. He imaged that they have never met before:

"We were now two strangers in the night. This was the very first time that we had ever come together. The dark woman with the erotic glow in her eyes and the subtle smile enchanted me like no other women in the world. I had invited her to dance and she has accepted. Everything felt so incredibly surreal. From the pictures on walls it seemed that even the Chinese ladies were smiling tonight. We had embraced the first embrace of strangers, and felt the electrifying effect ignited by the close physical proximity of each other's body."

They danced, concentrating on the music and on the motion of their two bodies. Observing Tango etiquette their initial embrace remained wide and not too close, because they were strangers. In the pauses she moved her free foot so subtly, skilfully, smoothly, fluidly executing Tango adornments to decorate their Tango. As the stylus progressed from one track to the next their embrace became closer and closer, soon Aaron felt her warm smooth cheek pressed against the side of his face. Her body seemed to glow with heat. When he pressed his palm against her naked shoulder so that her breasts touched his chest she immediately responded by caressing the area round his shoulder blades. He kissed her softly on her cheek.

Geraldine once speculated that the natural innate capacity to experience erotic love was the reason for the Tango's existence. The Bible would seem to be an unlikely literary source where vivid descriptions of eroticism in dance would be found, yet in the Song of Songs the Shulammite woman is encouraged to dance and she dances uninhibitedly in full view of the erotic gaze.

Dance, dance, O Shulammite woman, dance, dance, so we can gaze, even feast our eyes on the beauty of your gracefulness, on your sharply and beautiful sandaled feet, on your legs, on your thighs that are so lithe, so shapely, so elegant, which are like spinning jewels, the work of master jeweller, your hips are like rounded chalice brim full of wine, your hips hold a goblet, filled with delicious nectar, your waist, your belly is mound of wheat, adorned with lilies, your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle.

What do all those images possible mean? They obviously have strong sexual connotations. Freely translated using knowledge of female anatomy, it was an astonishing piece of scripture. It was possible that the statement 'your hips are like rounded chalice brim full of wine, your hips hold a goblet, filled with delicious nectar', was referring directly to the female vulva. It was possible that the Shulammite woman was dancing some kind of erotic and sensual belly dance, possible with hardly any clothing on.

When Aaron on a previous occasion told Geraldine this her eyes grew large. She stared at Aaron in amazed disbelief at his imaginative interpretation of the erotic and sensual poetic imaginary used in the description of dancing Shulammite woman's body.

She said: "I find it hard to believe that what you are saying is actually in the Bible. Don't you think your interpretation of the poetic imaginary is a bit on the extreme side, maybe your poetic license exceeds the boundaries of what the words can actually be taken to mean in the Song of Songs."

Aaron replied: "No, I have not exaggerated, twisted or distorted the meaning of the words. The word 'navel' is the wrong translation. I am convinced of this. I know biology. It should have been hips, because it is only the hips that from an anatomical perspective contain something like a goblet. A goblet is a receptacle. The receptacle filled with wine should not be taken literally. It means the receptacle has qualities or attributes that make it the object of desire. The receptacle filled with wine represents the female vulva, represents the shared pleasure derivable from this part of the females anatomy, shared by both the female and her male companion. It is the cup of wine that both can sip together from."

"What a thought, the female's vulva representing a cup of wine from which she and her companion can both sip from," she looked at Aaron, "Aaron what are you saying, can this be possible, from the Bible, from the Song of Songs."

At the end of the record she took out another LP and put it on the turn table, the music of the Bahia Blanca filled the little lounge.

Aaron walked over to her and asked, "¿Quisieras bailar?" (Do you want to dance)

She smiled; there was twinkle of humour in her eyes telling me that she was having fun. She replied, "Si."

He said, "Usted es un bailarín maravilloso." (You are a wonderful dancer)

She replied, "Muchas gracias." (Thank you very much)

He said, "Te quiero mucho." (I love you)

She replied softly, "Yo también te quiero mucho." (I also love you)

She said, "Yo se bailar muy bien." (You are dancing quite well)

He said, "Muchas gracias." (Thank you very much)

He asked, "¿realmente crees que lo hará mañana la nieve?" (Do you really think it will snow tomorrow?)

She replied, "Sí, definitivamente mañana la nieve" (Yes it will definitely snow tomorrow)

She burst out laughing

He asked, "¿Cuándo aprendió a hablar español con fluidez, tales." (When did you learn to speak such fluent Spanish?)

She replied, "De un libro de mi tía me dio." (From Unisa).

27

Geraldine locked the front door of her parents' home. She was home alone for the weekend. Her parents, aunt and uncle had left on Friday evening for Durban to attend a wedding of a distant relative. By 6.00 the sun had set and the evening star was visible. It was a dark moonless evening as she walked to Drommedaris Street to feed her aunt's cat and dog. The autumn equinox of 1967 had already been passed and there was a sharp chill in the air.

After feeding the animals she put the kettle on and waited for Aaron. At 7.30 Aaron knocked gently on the front door. As she opened the door the cat slipped between her legs through the door, Aaron picked up the cat and stroked it, and let it go. They watched it vanish into the night.

"He only comes back through the kitchen window just before dawn. I don't where he goes or what he does all night," she said as she embraced Aaron.

"Come in its quite chilly, do you want tea now or later," she asked.

"Let's have it later, so you want to talk about Evolution and Religious Belief," he asked.

"Yes, that is the topic for my next Unisa assignment for Religious Studies," she said.

"What exactly do want to know about evolution?" he said.

"Well basically, a concisely summary of the theory of evolution and how the acceptance of evolution as a true theory will influence religious belief will help a lot," she said.

"Evolution is descent through genetic modification by means of natural selection and inheritance of genetic variation, where genetic variation is generated through the processes of recombination which occurs in meiosis during gametogenesis, where gametogenesis is the production of haploid sex cells or gametes or sperm and eggs, from specific diploid cell lines derived originally from the primordial germ cells in the gonads of males and females respectively,"

"Wow, let me write that down before I forget, I can't believe that you can just rattle off stuff like this," she said.

"Well I am training to be a zoologist, so what do you expect," he said laughing.

"What are the key points that can be emphasized about evolution from your concise summary of evolution?"

"Without sex or sexual reproduction there can be no evolution, and without meiosis there can no sex, where sex involves the fusion of two haploid sex cells or gametes, so the evolution of sex made evolution of both micro and macro-evolution possible. And very importantly the evolution of meiosis was a necessary step in the evolution of sex," he said.

"So everything depends on sex?" She said smiling sweetly.

"Correct. But don't forget that meiosis is the engine of genetic variation and without genetic variation for natural selection to act on, there can be no evolution and adaptation, or descent with genetic modification," he said.

"Let me write this all down quickly before I forget. This is great stuff, I am so thrilled that you helping me, you don't know how much I appreciate it," she said, " I did not realize it would be so simple, I really thought it was going to be so complicated, and that I would battle to grasp even the most basic ideas of evolution. I remember meiosis from school biology. I would never have guessed that understanding meiosis and recombination was so important."

"What do mean by descent with genetic modification?" she asked.

"Descent through modification results in the production of different species that have their origins in a common ancestor. Similar species evolved have evolved through time from a common ancestor. In others words similar species share similar attributes which were derived from the common ancestor which they all shared. Speciation occurs when populations of species that have descended from a common ancestor become reproductively isolated, which means interbreeding for various reasons is no longer possible between two or more populations which have descended from a shared ancestor. It is through speciation that we get the diversity of species and adaptive radiation of species," he said.

"Shoo that is so amazing, let me write this down as well," she said chuckling to herself.

"Can you give me an example of species that have descended from a common ancestor," she asked.

"That is easy, assuming that an animal phylum is a natural taxon or a grouping together of different species on the basis of them sharing a common general or archetypical body plan. Examples of animal species which share a common body plan and which therefore fall under the same phylum are the Cnidaria, Platyhelminthes, Nematoda, Annelida, Mollusca, Onychophora, Arthropoda, and Echinodermata, and so on and so forth. As I have already said, the different species falling under a given phylum share the same fundamental body plan, and from this we can safely conclude that all the species in that phylum have originated through process of descent with modification from a common ancestor which had the characteristic or archetypical body plan for that phylum. The same goes for the other taxonomic units or taxa such as classes, orders, families and genera. In fact taxonomy or systematic should reflect phylogeny or evolutionary relatedness," he said.

"OK let me write that down quickly," she said.

"Remind me what phylogeny is," she asked.

"Phylogeny is basically the evolutionary relationships of different species in terms of descent from common ancestors," he said.

"Did we evolve from the apes?" she asked.

"Well let's put it this way. We are phylogenetically related to all the apes. Which means all the apes and humans share a common ancestor?" he said.

"I don't think most people will agree with that or even like that," she said.

"Do you believe in the Theory of Evolution?" he asked her.

"I do sort of, especially after listening to the way that you have put it," she said.

"OK, now that I have a good description of what the Theory of Evolution is all about, what impact does the theory have on the ideas of religious belief?" she asked.

"Well firstly it rules out any idea about the existence of the soul. It falsifies the ideas of the fixity or immutability of the species, it falsifies many Aristotelian ideas, it challenges the truth of certain kinds of literal readings of Genesis, it falsifies the Cartesian Dualism, it refutes certain negative religious beliefs about the nature and status of women, it challenges ideas about religious purity, contamination and cleanliness, and finally it challenges certain ideas regarding the nature or character of sin," he said.

"OK that is great, let me write this down quickly," she said.

"Now I am interested in the refutation of the immutability of species and how this affects the reading of the Genesis account of creation. Is there any way that the creation account in Genesis can be true if the Theory of Evolution is true or are they mutually inconsistent?" she asked.

"Go get a Bible and read the Genesis creation account," he said.

"I have my Bible right here," she took her Bible out of her briefcase. She opened the Bible at Genesis chapter 1 and began to read it aloud the majestic account of creation.

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to everything that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

After she had read the Genesis account of creation she looked at Aaron: "Well?"

"In the Genesis creation account we read repeatedly that God made all living organisms after their own kind. 'Own kind' could be read as after the general, fundamental or archetypical body plan corresponding to the given phylum. So 'own kind' would be interpreted as belonging to the same phylum or class or order or family or genera, these taxonomic units all represent the idea of being 'own kinds'. So being created after their own kind does not necessarily support the idea of the fixity or immutability of the species," he argued.

"What about man being created in the image of God?" she asked.

"We could propose that while it does not expressly state that man was created after his own kind it can be interpreted that man was not created as a different kind with respect to some of the other creatures that 'creepeth' over the surface of the earth. In fact biology clearly shows that man falls within the mammals. So he belongs to that kind of creature, but while being made like any other mammal in many ways, he also possesses different attributes which reflect Godlike attributes, hence in this sense he has been created in the image of God or he has evolved these attributes."

"But having said that I would also argue that it is not necessary to treat Genesis as a literal account of origins. For Genesis to be true in the sense that the authors originally intended does not necessarily require that it be a literal account that can be treated as a scientific account of origins," he said.

"Obviously there is only one Theory of Evolution and that is the theory propounded by Charles Darwin in his book On the Origin of Species by Natural Selection, is this still true?" she asked.

"Yes it is basically true, however the full theory of Darwin evolution also includes a second book written by Darwin which has not yet made much such of an impact as the first book On the Origin of Species. The second book is extremely controversial and I think he delayed its publication for a many years," Aaron said.

"In my assignment course notes no other book apart from his The Voyage of the Beagle was mentioned, I didn't know there was any other book on evolution written by Darwin apart from his On the Origin of Species," she said.

"The first edition of his first major book on the theory of evolution, On the Origin of Species by Natural Selection, was released on the 24th of November 1859. It is not an exaggeration to state that it shook the world and generated a huge amount of controversy. Because he anticipated that there would be even more controversy if he had included the evolution of man in On the Origin of Species, he purposely left out any mention of man's evolution in that book. In this second book he specifically addressed the evolution of man and other aspects of the evolution process. This book whose publication was delayed because of his fear of the public response was called The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex. It was published in 1871."

28

"According to Darwinian Evolution there are two kinds of selection in evolution, natural selection and sexual selection. Natural selection acts on all the observable attributes or properties of an organism which give it a reproductive advantage over the other members of the same species. Because these attributes or properties which confer greater reproductive advantage are heritable or have genetic basis, a higher proportion of the genes for these attributes, will be successful transmitted to the progeny in successive generations. This is basically what is meant by evolution by natural selection. It is as simple as that. Any character or attribute which gives any individual member of that species greater reproductive advantage will become more and more prevalent in the population of that species with time. And having greater reproductive advantage means that that individual has increased or greater fitness relative to the other individual members of that particular species. The characters, properties or attributes could be any feature possessed by the individual member of a species which ultimately contributes to any increase in its reproductive advantage over the other individual members of that particular species. The character or suite of different characters, that increases reproductive advantage could be anything, for example it could be something like, more effective camouflage, greater hunting or food finding prowess, increased tolerance or resistance to disease or environmental stress, greater fleetness in escaping danger, and so on," he said.

"Ok I now understand what is meant by natural selection, but what does sexual selection involve and how is it related to natural selection?" Geraldine inquired.

"At the end of the day, each individual member of a population of a particular species that has survived to sexually mature adulthood, is faced with one final obstacle, it has to compete with the members of the same sex for sexual access to suitable mating partners belonging to the opposite sex. There is no guarantee that any or every single individual will find a suitable mating partner of the opposite sex by sheer random chance, it is a lot more complicated than that, as the whole mate selection process takes place through the process of courtship contests, and these contests can turn into quite a battle field, if not a war zone," he said.

"So how does sexual selection feature in of all of this?" She wanted to know.

"Just bear with me. There some preliminaries that has to be dealt with first, some of which are pretty obvious, such as the separation of the sexes into male and females, with males differing from the females with respect to the nature of their sexual organs. The nature of the sexual organs of males and females are defined by the various properties and features that are typically associated with the structure and functioning of the sexual organs. All these features and characteristic linked to the structure and functioning of the sexual organs are called the primary sexual characters of the particular species. The primary sexual characters of the sex organs are directly involved in facilitating the actual physical sexual act of reproduction. Now there are other secondary sexual characters that result in the two sexes appearing very different from each other. In animals males and females look different. This phenomenon is called sexual dimorphism. It is the secondary sexual characters which give rise to the conspicuous sexual dimorphism we see in animals and birds. These secondary sexual characters are not directly involved in the actual physical act of sexual reproduction, but rather play a prominent role in courtship contests," he said.

"I think I have good idea where this is going, but give me some example of secondary sexual characteristics," she asked.

"Differences in size, shape, colouration, plumage, tails, and possession of horns or antlers which make the males appear different from females are examples of male secondary sexual characters. Males often possess exaggerated and conspicuous ornamentation such as the peacock's elaborate tail, or bright and colourful plumage in many male birds or the excessively large horns in antelope or deer. It is mostly the males that have elaborate and conspicuous ornamentation. All these different kinds of male eye-catching ornamentation or decoration are examples of secondary sexual characters. In contrast the females often appear inconspicuous relative to the males of the species."

"Sexual ornamentation play a very important role in determining the outcomes of courtship contests between male suitors over sexual access to females," he said.

"But there is something very interesting about the outcomes of the courtship contests, and this is going to surprise you. It is the females who chose which male wins the contest. The verdict is not decided among the males, the verdict is decided by the female. She decides which is the best male and selects that male as her preferred mating partner," he said.

"I would never have guessed that it was female preference which decides the final outcome of the courtship contest," she said.

"That's how it is, males make a big show of displaying their ornaments, but in the end the female chooses or selects which one of the males is going to be her preferred mating partner," he said with a serious demeanour.

"So beauty is in the eye of the beholder," she said.

"Yes, she chooses the one that she perceives to be the most beautiful," he agreed.

"I am curious, how did sex, and male and female sexes evolve in the first place?" she asked

"How did sex evolve? In simple terms it started with cell fission and ended with cell fusion. But let me flesh out the story. Originally when only prokaryotes or bacteria existed there was only asexual reproduction through the process of binary fission, which occurs when a single cell divides into two separate daughter cells. From the prokaryote ancestor a more complex cell called a eukaryotic cell evolved. A eukaryotic cell has a nucleus whereas a prokaryote cell does not have nucleus. The nucleus contains DNA packaged into structures called chromosomes. Sex began when two eukaryotic cells fused into one cell or when the nucleus of one cell fused with nucleus of another cell. Sex at its most basic level involves a transfer of DNA from cell to another cell." He explained.

"The evolution of sex probably started with the evolution of a very simple sex cycle or life cycle involving two phases, a phase involving the binary fission of cells, and a phase involving the binary fusion of cells. The binary fission phase which incorporates both mitosis and meiosis results in the production of haploid cells which have half the number of chromosomes which is equal to N chromosomes. In the binary fusion phase two haploid cell fuse into a diploid cell which has the full complement or number of chromosomes which is equal to 2N chromosomes. So in the beginning we had single cell organisms that had this very simple sex cycle. There were no female or males cells as we understand the meaning of these two words. We could say that there was + sex strain and a – sex strain, and only pluses and minuses fused.

From the single cell organism multicellular organisms evolved when dividing cells did not separate but remained stuck together. This is very simplistic but it gives the gist of what was happening. With the evolution of the multicellular metazoan just before and during the Cambrian sex became a lot more complicated, as you could image.

In the evolution of multicellular animals not all the cells are identical in structure and functions. The cells undergo differentiation and specialization. Specialized cells become organized into tissues and organs built up from specialized tissues. The different organs have different functions. The organ that we are interested in are the gonads. Gonads are the organs that produce the sex cells. Gonads are the ovaries or testes.

Whatever the sex, male or female it does not matter, we can simply refer to gonads as the organ that produces sex cells without specifying whether the organ is an ovary or testes. Sex cells undergo fusion in sexual reproduction. These sex cells can be called germ cells, gametes, spermatozoa, sperm, oocytes, or eggs. Initially when all eukaryotic organisms still existed as single cells that is before the evolution of multi-cellularity, single cell individuals of a given species produced sex cells of the same size. Because the sex cells are the same size the species are said to be isogamous. At this stage sexual differentiation between the two sexes or sexual dimorphism was not apparent.

Now a mutations occurred which resulted in some individuals producing many but smaller sized sex cells. Smaller sized sex cell will of course have smaller nutrient and energy reserves. These individuals which produce higher numbers of smaller sized cells have a competitive advantage over individuals producing normal size sex cells. However, for progeny to develop from following the fusion of sex cells there must be adequate nutrient reserves in at least one of the sex cells.

Fusion of two small sex cells each with low nutrient resources will not result in the production of viable progeny because the initial growth of the zygote formed by the fusion of the sex cell depends on the resources supplied by each of the sex cells. However a mutation that results in the production of sex cells with larger nutrient reserves will favour the production of viable progeny when fusion takes place with a smaller sex cell containing very low resources. The situation leads to a twofold conflict. Firstly a conflict takes between the producers of larger and larger numbers of smaller and smaller sized sex cells for opportunities to fuse with larger well-resourced sex cells. Secondly a conflict takes place between the producers of large numbers of very small sex cells and producers of a fewer larger sized well-resourced sex cells. This is because the producers of larger eggs have invested larger amounts of resources into fewer sex cells and the future perpetuity or survival of the progeny will depend on the genetic quality or fitness of the genetic material contained in the smaller sex cells."

Aaron stopped for moment looking at Geraldine who had been listening and making notes while he spoke. He then asked

"Can you see where this is going?"

"Not really, but continue, I am sure I will get it," she said

Looking at Geraldine who sat waiting with her pen and note pad ready, he continued.

"Well, to cut a very long story sort, two very different kinds of individuals evolved within a single species of multicellular organism , one producing a few large sex cells and one producing many small sex cells. Those that produced larger numbers of smaller sized sex cells that contain almost no nutrient resources, let's call these smaller sized sex cells sperm , and those individuals that producer fewer but larger sized sex cells filled with nutrient resources, let's call these larger sized sex cells eggs or ova. The former individuals we call males and the latter individuals we call females. The evolutionary change from isogamy or same sized sex cells to anisogamy, that is, sex cells of differing sizes, has resulted in a kind of arms race between individuals within a given species."

"I'm beginning to where this is going," she said.

"Let me sum up. Male produce large quantities of cheap sperm, while female producer fewer but more costly eggs. Males with huge surpluses of cheap sperm will inevitably end up fighting among themselves for access to females, for fertilization opportunities. Females will become increasing choosy about the quality of the abundant supply of cheap sperm. So what do we end up with?"

He waited for Geraldine's response, she frowned at him.

"I am listening go on." She said.

"OK it is like this. On the one hand we have an oversupply of cheap sperm of mixed quality and we have a limited supply of very expensive eggs. On the other hand we have competing males and choosy females. Males have an abundant supply of sperm and can mate repeatedly with any number of females. Females can only mate a few times with a limited number of males. Females need to avoid wasting their expensive eggs on males with inferior sperm, which is sperm with low quality genetic material. Therefore females need to evolve the capacity to assess the genetic quality of males before allowing them to mate and fertilize their eggs. When females start exerting selective preference or choice over males then males become subjected to female sexual selection. What would be the consequences of competition between males for females, and the selective preferable of females for certain kinds of males?" He said looking at Geraldine.

"I have got it," she said, looking satisfied, as she finished making her notes with a flourish. She went over her notes carefully.

"To answer your question it seems that the selective preference of females will promote the development of increasingly conspicuous or elaborate ornamentation in males," she said with a smug look.

"You right!" he said, chuckling.

"Now I have a question for you to answer?" she said.

"Shoot!" he said.

"Do females have any sexual ornamentation?" she asked.

"What do you think?" he said

"Logically they should also have some kind of sexual ornamentation because they have to compete with other females for the limited number of high quality males that are available as preferred mating partners. I am I right?"

"You absolutely right."

"Well then tell me about female sexual ornamentation, you are a man you should know," she said sweetly with a mock fluttering of her eyes, acting coy.

"It is pretty obvious. According to Darwin sexual selection has also shaped the human body, the human face and even the human mind. Sexual selection exerted by male preference has shaped the breasts, waists, hips, buttocks, legs of female bodies. Sexual selection exerted by female preference has also shaped body size, body hair and beards in men. Sexual selection in humans has also influenced the evolution of other secondary sexual characters such as hair colour, skin texture, skin colour, eyes colour, eye size and shape, lips, ears, nose size and shape, face shape, hand size and shape."

"So you saying women's breasts are sexual ornaments," she asked looking amused at the idea.

"Yes, I suppose so."

"So every feature that makes a woman's body attractive to men serves a purely sexual ornamental function. Is this how women get the attention of a men and keep men interested in them."

"Yes."

"Would say that the size and shape of a woman's breasts serves primarily a sexual function?" She asked.

"Yes"

"So supplying milk to an infant serves is only a secondary function?" She asked.

"Yes sort of. Big shapely breasts don't necessary produce more milk than smaller breasts. So the size and outward appearance of a woman's breast does not always give a true indication of its milk supply capacity," Aaron said

"Is all of this a scientific fact?" She asked

"Yes, there are other observations as well. Concealed ovulation and continuous sexual receptivity in women have evolved as secondary sexual characteristics to keep men continually attentive with respect to supporting, provisioning, protecting women irrespective of whether or not they are ovulating. Females with narrow waists or a waist to hip ratio of 0.7 are preferred by men because it indicates non-pregnancy and sexual receptivity for fertilization."

"Is this also a scientific fact?" she wanted to know.

"Yes."

"I think I have enough scientific information on evolution, let us now generate some ideas on what kind of impact these ideas can have on religious belief," she said.

"If we look at the evolution of sex and of the sexes, the female sex has had to play a more prominent role in reproduction because from a Natural History perspective she have been the sex that makes the larger investment in the reproductive process. In theory the majority of males in the world can be treated as redundant and dispensable with respect to maintaining human population growth."

29

"Some of the most important faith based beliefs that supporters of a Darwinian based theory of human evolution would probably repudiate are beliefs that incorporate ideas such as sin which is linked to man's moral and ethical culpability towards God, the existence of an independent moral order, man created in the image of God, man's need of redemption, life after death, existence and immortality of the soil," Aaron said.

She replied:

"The concept of sin as an offence committed purposely against God's moral order is incompatible with the conventional understanding of evolutionary theory."

"In a way, yes." He replied.

'What do mean?" She asked.

"How can evolved man become a sinner in need of redemption? That is the question we need to address. We can explore the theological implications of this. The standard position taken is usually quite simplistic. If is evolution is a fact then God does not exist," Aaron said in response.

" If 'there is no God then everything is permissible', no moral laws need exist which can be violated, there will be no punishment because there will be no offenses, no victims, no injuries, no wrongs, the existence or possibility of evil will be denied, the Universe will be indifferent, deaf, dumb and blind to all suffering," Geraldine said.

"OK that would be the expected line of reasoning. The fact that man evolved does not rule out the possibility that God still made man in his own image, and that man could have fallen, and become a sinner in need of redemption. Nothing rules out these possibilities," Aaron stated.

"How so?" She asked.

"It all started with God's great love for the matter that he had created. His love was demonstrated by the fact that He endowed matter with the potential and power to take up an infinite variety of different possible configurations with an infinite variety of different possible capacities which when given an infinite amount of time could be realized in accordance with the laws of nature which He had brought to existence and maintains in existence every moment."

"So are you implying that through the process of evolution matter in the form of organic matter was given the chance or opportunity and freedom by God to explore its infinite capacity for variety through some kind of dance of life," she asked.

"Yes that is exactly what I meant in a way?" he replied.

"But can this be construed as some a form of deism?" she asked.

"Not really God is not absent, God is present, He is the invisible presence behind every appearance, He is dancing as the leading partner with every atom, every electron, every photon, every thermal fluctuation and every quantum fluctuation in entire the Universe, He is dancing with his Creation. In Colossians Paul writes, He is the image of the invisible God, the first born of all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities, all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together," he answered.

"Yes, in him all things hold together," she repeated thoughtfully.

"So the laws of nature have made it possible for matter to participate in processes, such as biological evolution, through which it can acquire configurations of such complexity that it can become self-conscious of its state and being as matter, and know God as its maker," she commented.

"Precisely, matter has become conscious in the form of man with his 100 billion brain cells," he said.

"In man the cosmos has achieved consciousness and through man the Universe can see itself," she said.

"There you go! God has ensured that all the conditions necessary for the evolution of life and the emergence of man through evolution would actually came into existence, so that the words, ' Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and overall the creatures that move along the ground, were already a fait accompli in the mind of God, so the deed in reality was as good as if it happened instantaneously before the lapse of any time."

"Matter evolving into the complex configurations that would endow it with the capacity to behave as the image bearer of God was already built into the laws of nature and the properties of matter, and given the infinite scale of the Universe the probability of its occurrence was 100% certain following the emergence of the Universe at the beginning of time," he said.

"And for matter in the form of man to be the image bearer of God, God would have endowed him with the capacity not only to be conscious but also to be free to act not only creatively but to act always in manner that makes him culpable for his actions," she said.

"Are you saying that the capacity that he was endowed with was 'free will'," Aaron asked.

"Yes, it was free will. He could not be an imager bearer in the form of matter made conscious or matter made self-aware if he did not have free will, because to be self-aware, is also to be aware of options or choices and so on," she said.

"And now I can make that point about how evolved man became a sinner in need of redemption. This is the point at which Christology enters creation; it corresponds to the point when man acquires his own agency to act. At this point, when man has the capacity to exercise his freedom, his free-will, and his agency to act, that everything becomes an unbearable burden to him, and he finds himself in a perpetual state of bondage to a will that act against his best intentions. It is exactly like Saint Augustine first observed whenever we have occasion to exercise our free will, which is our faculty of making a free choice, we invariably, if not inadvertently, use it against both God and fellow man, and this is our Original Sin," she said looking very satisfied with the insight that had dawned upon her.

She began to scribble furiously, making notes as fast as possible, before everything that they had spoken about slipped her mind.

Aaron got up to stretch his legs and go to the toilet. He also felt very satisfied with their discussion. Many of the things he wanted to sort out in his own mind where now clear.

When he came back to the lounge she was still writing in her note book. She looked up briefly, her face an expression of satisfaction.

When she was finished making her notes she looked up at him and said:

"What should we say about heaven or life after death?"

"We agree that God loves matter, and we don't believe in the soul, and we as beings can only exist as embodiments of matter, and we also believe in the resurrection of the dead, therefore I believe that heaven will be made out of matter."

She laughed pleasantly.

"OK before we speak about hell, I need some more points on sin, redemption and salvation in relation to evolved man, where should be start?" She asked, getting her pen and pad ready.

"Well I think we both agree with Augustine regarding the deep rootedness of our very unoriginal original sin, but I think we need to have a more radical, comprehensive and penetrating analysis of the extent of our culpability if we are going to genuinely comprehend how desperate our situation really stands with respect to our need for redemption and salvation.'

She sat with her notebook on her lap waiting, while Aaron tried to get his thoughts together on exactly what he should say.

30

It was almost the end of January in 1968. The Monkees' new release 'I'm a Believer' was number one on the hit parades.

Aaron had finished his BSc degree and was now doing his Higher Diploma in Education. Geraldine was in the third year of her Unisa BA studies. Aaron had not seen Geraldine since November1967.

Her aunt was pregnant with her second child. They had also resigned from the Transvaal Non-European Ballroom Dancing Association and were no longer involved in ballroom dancing functions. They no longer needed a baby sitter for Sharon, and anyway Sharon was growing up rapidly and had become quite precocious and perceptive. Sharon would eventually let the cat out of the bag regarding Aaron's visits to their house. It had now become impossible to Aaron and Geraldine to see other. Their only link was through the dead letter box. The messages that Geraldine had recently posted box were becoming increasing despondent and desperate.

After working for two years as a seamstress she had become unhappy with her job at Sonny Colbert. It felt like that she was trapped in a cul-de-sac as a seamstress. Also the hours were long, the work was physically demanding and exhausting. She was beginning to feel increasingly burnout trying to hold down a job and studying part time at the same time. She also needed a job that would be more intellectually challenging and less physically demanding than dressmaking. It was clear that for her own sanity the time had come for her to move on, so she began to look for another job with better prospects. It did not take her long to find another job. Within days after quitting her job, she managed to a get a job as a kind of legal clerk at Markus Bogoraz Attorneys in Morco House at 282 Commissioner Street. The salary was higher. She started off working as a receptionist and filing clerk. Her new job required that she be able to touch type and write in short hand. She had already acquired these skills at the Catholic Adult Education Centre.

Aaron knew Mr Marcus Bogoraz. Mr Marcus Bogoraz was a mover and shaker on the parish council of St Dominic's Catholic Church. He was a prominent lay member of the Dominic Order. He was also a popular attorney and a town councillor in Boksburg. He had successfully managed over the past few years to gently and tactfully persuade the white congregation to turn a blind eye to the small number of Native and Coloured Catholics who had begun to regularly attend Sunday Mass at St Dominic's Catholic Church. They normally filled the few pews at the back of the church.

The Vatican II Decree on the Apostolate of Lay People or Apostolicam Actuositatem published in 1965 encouraged the constitution and establishment of lay councils at all levels in the Catholic Church. It was hoped that these lay councils would not only assist but also promote the Church's apostolate or mission. The decree authorized that these lay councils undertake all kinds of lay initiatives that furthered and strengthened the Christian mission of the Catholic Church. Hence the recent birth of the St Dominic's parish council in Boksburg.

When Aaron learnt that Geraldine was working for Mr Marcus Bogoraz he had a brain wave on how they could get together again. He posted the following message to Geraldine.

Dear Geraldine,

Congratulations! This is the most wonderful news that I have heard for a long time. I have a brain wave! In fact it is a fantastic idea. Now that you are working at Markus Bogoraz Attorneys you must consider making St Dominic's Catholic Church your new spiritual home. I encourage you to make this move. In fact I feel strongly at liberty to insist that you make this move immediately. If you don't I do not know what will happen to us. I miss you so much. I need to see you. The separation is killing me. I will die if I don't see you! You are earning your own salary and paying rent, so you should be able to successfully resist your parent's demands that you attend Mass at St Francis Catholic Church in Reiger Park. Mr Markus Bogoraz can be your alibi for you wanting to attend Mass at St Dominic's Catholic Church. You can say that your boss is a very prominent lay brother associated with the St Dominic's and the Dominican Brotherhood on the East Rand, and if you go to St Dominic's this can only help you in your job. In a way this is actually the truth.

Love you with all my soul

Aaron

PS You must get your learner's driver's license as soon as possible. I will teach you to drive and then you can go for your driver's license. This will give us freedom to be together.

She wrote back with the following message.

Dearest Aaron,

I did not realize that you could be so devious. I will do anything to be with you. I will definitely see you at Mass next Sunday and every Sunday thereafter. I am looking forward to my driving lessons. I am going to start saving like mad to buy a car. All of this has given me a new lease on life. I had reached rock bottom. I have also been missing you terribly.

Love you with all my heart

Geraldine

The letter lifted Aaron's spirits. He posted a message with instructions.

Dear Geraldine,

After reading this note, look down, you will notice next to your feet you three stones arranged in a triangle. Under one of the stones there is a spare key for my car. Keep it. The car will be parked near the corner of Market and Kaap Street. Straight after Mass go the car and get into the passenger seat and wait for me. We will go for a long drive. We have a lot of catching up and planning to do.

Love you

Aaron.

PS. Thank God the Master of the Universe for the English Dominicans who came to Boksburg and made it possible for us to be together again.

31

It was the last Sunday of Epiphany. Aaron sat in a pew next to the aisle close to the church entrance so that he could see Geraldine when she arrived. She arrived at 8.15 am dressed in a sapphire blue sleeveless square neckline bodice dress with a knee length skirt that had a pleated texture, which made it fall in soft, clean lines over her hips and thighs. In her hand she held a small rectangular shiny black patent leather clutch bag that matched her black sandals. The sapphire blue enhanced her beautiful dark complexion. Her white lace mantilla was draped over her shoulders like a stole. She immediately saw Aaron, greeting him with a quick sparkling smile and a shining twinkle in her dark eyes. She then covered her head with the mantilla. Turning around to the font of holy water at the entrance she dipped her fingers into the water and crossed herself with the sign of the cross. At the entrance threshold she hesitated for a brief moment, her eyes quickly scanned the interior of the church looking for a place to sit. Her eyes fell on the empty pew on the opposite side of the aisle from where he was sitting. She walked quickly to the empty pew. Before sitting she sank downward rapidly in the smooth fluid motion of a skilled dancer dropping lightly to her right knee, crossing herself with the sign of the cross, before swiftly rising up again, executing the most beautiful and graceful genuflection that Aaron had ever seen.

She sat down, smoothed her skirt, adjusted her mantilla and then slipped into a kneeling position, with her palms pressed together, eyes closed, she began to pray. He watched her as she prayed, her lips moved silently. The expression on her face became earnest as she concentrated on her prayer. When she opened her eyes she turned her head and looked at Aaron. He pressed his fingers to his lips and kissed them. Her face remained intense for a moment, and then a faint loving smile formed on her lips. While looking at Aaron she quickly pressed her fingers to her own lips and kissed them.

Straight after receiving communion he saw Geraldine leave the Church. When he got back to the car about 10 minutes later she was already sitting in the passenger sit.

After he sat down in the driver's seat they embraced passionately and kissed in an emotional re-union. She was tearful, crying and laughing at the same time. Aaron's eyes also began to moisten and glisten with tears. After gently rubbing the tears away with the back of his fore finger he said: "You look absolutely stunning. I love your dress, it's fantastic."

"Thank you. I made it. I got the idea for the pattern from a magazine. I bought the material at Solly's AK Bazaars. You know the Shop in Commissioner Street near the Stella Bioscope. I cut the pattern and made it secretly at Sonny Colbert's. It cost very little. So you really like my dress?"

"I can't believe you made it. It looks like you bought it at Stuttafords or somewhere like that or someplace where women buy expensive dresses."

"I have the same dress in cobalt blue. It is also an amazing colour against my skin. Having such a dark complexion and skin has its advantages. I can dress up in the most outrageous colours and still look and also feel good."

As she shifted around in the car seat her dress hiked up exposing her thighs and knees. Her arms and shoulders were muscled and shapely. Her fragrance filled the car. It was very difficult for Aaron not to feel uncontrollably aroused by being so close to her after their long enforced separation.

"I can't believe how things have turned out. I started to believe that we would never be able be together again. I sincerely believed it had become impossible for us see each other again," she said beaming with exuberance

Aaron started the car.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Let's get onto the main road to Durban and just go until we decide to turn back."

"No we can't, we don't have enough time."

"How much time do we have?"

"I don't know, maybe about 90 minutes. Let go park somewhere, a quiet secluded place, so that we can talk," she answered.

They decided to go Cinderella Dam. As they drove past the boat house of Boksburg Lake she began to talk about Tchaikovsky.

"Are you familiar with Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture?" She asked.

"Yes, it a great piece of music."

"My father loves Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. He plays it quite often. Anyway that's not what I want to tell you. During the Eucharist this morning when the bells started ringing for the Sanctus, the consecration and the Elevation of the Host I began to hear in my head parts of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. It was so strange. My mind became filled with the sounds of the Battle of Borodino. I could hear the sounds of the five Russian cannon shots and then I could hear the repetitive fragments of the La Marseillaise, and then when the bread and blood became transformed into the body and blood of Jesus, my head was filled with the wild ringing sounds of the victory bells in the Overture that signalled the French army's retreat in complete panic. Don't you find that strange?"

"No I don't. I often associate music with many different things."

After taking the Middel Road turnoff they drove past the little beach and followed the sand road through the blue gum plantation towards the clay pigeon shooting range on the south west side of Cinderella dam. Just before the entrance gate of the shooting range Aaron took a right turn and followed the two track sand road to the slimes dam. The road came to an end by a stand of tall blue trees. He parked in the shade of trees with the car facing Cinderella Dam.

Aaron felt amorous, he embraced her and began to kiss her, and she returned the kisses. He bit her ear lobe softly, kissed her neck, she whispered urgently in his ear: "Aaron we need to have a serious talk."

Sitting back he replied: "I know."

"What's going to happen to us? What are we going to do?" She looked at Aaron intensely; her eyes were wide with concern.

"I realized that I cannot live without you," she confessed, "I love you so much, it is killing me being separated from you. But it would also be unfair for both of us to continue without any hope for our relationship."

"I feel the same. I also cannot live without you," he said.

"Well what do you suggest we do?" She said looking at Aaron anxiously.

"I would like us to get married," he answered, taking the plunge.

What Aaron said did not seem to sink in or register with her. She did not bat an eyelid.

Instead she answered: "I have found out what the South African law says about mixed race couples. Right now our relationship is completely defined and controlled by the Population Registration Act No. 30 of 1950, the Group Areas Act, the Immorality Amendment Act No.21 of 1950 and the Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act No. 55 of 1949. I also know that the Mixed Marriages Act will soon be amended and should we decide to get married outside South Africa, that marriage will not be recognized inside South Africa. So what options do we have?"

She looked desperate.

"We can leave the country. We can emigrate as soon as we have completed our studies," he suggested, almost feeling like he was clutching at straws. To Geraldine it did sound a bit wild and unpractical.

"I have also considered that. The age of majority in South Africa is currently 21 years. We cannot yet enter into contracts, marry or get a passport without parental consent as we are both under 21 years of age. We have to wait until we are 21 before we can even think about emigrating and getting married. Until then our relation will have to be a complete secret and if we meet it will have to done clandestinely. Do you think we are able to this?" She said.

"Yes," he answered

"Are you implying that you want to marry me?" he asked her.

"Sorry, yes of course! I just wanted to make sure that we both understand what we getting ourselves into. To be honest I was actually waiting for you to ask me to marry you. I prayed earnestly about it this morning in the church and in the car after Communion before you came. I have thought and thought about it. I wanted a sign from God. So I said to myself if you ask for my hand in marriage this morning I will take that as a positive sign of God's will and blessing. When I came to this decision I felt at peace. The matter is now in God's hands. I had such a strong feeling that you would ask me today and I had made up mind to accept your proposal. So yes, I also want to marry you. I don't want anyone else. I don't think I can live without you." She answered softly and earnestly.

"I feel the same about you. I cannot live without you," he said.

"I know it is God's will that we get married. God has brought us together. He has a plan for our lives," she replied.

"I know that God has brought us together," he said, to confirm her feelings.

She continued: "You are 20 now. You will soon be turning 21 and I will turn 21 in 1969. So it's a full 2 years before both of us can get our passports and be in a position to make decisions independently of parental consent on emigration and marriage. But in the meantime at least we can be together again."

"So you agree we have to emigrate from South Africa?" he asked.

"Yes, it's the only option we have. I agree, we have to emigrate, but where?" She asked.

"I don't know," he replied.

"We still have lots of time to think about that. In the mean time I must get my driver's license and buy my own car so that I can be free to come and go as I like," she said.

They sat in silence holding hands, each enjoying each other's presence. Through the trees she could see the yachts sailing on Cinderella Dam. The silence was only broken by the cooing of doves. A small flock of francolin appeared on the sand road. Through the corner of his eye a movement caught his attention. He turned his head and saw horses grazing among the blue gums. He recognized them as the horses from the Compound. They must have escaped from their paddocks at the Compound. He had not visited the compound or been near the horses for over three years.

Geraldine also saw the horses.

"Are those horses from the Compound? It looks like they have escaped."

"Yes they have. I will phone Mr Whitehead when I get home."

"You don't ride anymore?" she asked.

"No, I have not been back to the Compound since Matric," he said.

"Have you seen any of your old school friends?" She inquired.

"No, I haven't," he said.

He did not want to talk about their self-imposed isolation or the loneliness they both felt when they were not together, so he changed the subject.

"What's Marcus Bogoraz like as a boss?" he asked.

"Oh his fantastic. He is such a wonderful person. Did you know that he is a Jew? He converted to Catholicism when he was a student at Wits. His wife is also Jewish. She also converted to Catholicism. Did you know that he is a Dominican lay brother?"

"Yes."

"I don't know much about the Dominicans. I did not even link St Dominic's Catholic Church with the Dominicans. I only know about the Franciscans. The Catholic Church is like a huge iceberg, and you can only see the tip of the iceberg," she continued.

"The Dominicans have been around in South Africa for hundreds of years. The English Dominicans arrived in South African in 1577. They played an enormous role in the expansion of Catholicism in South Africa. The Dominican Fathers and Brothers have been active on the Rand for more than 60 years. They have been around long enough to have witnessed at first hand the rise and decline of the gold mines on the Witwatersrand. Many of the English Dominican friars who have been active on the East Rand were also of exceptional intellectual statue. In Boksburg, between 1912 and 1936, they completed the translation of 22 volumes of Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologiae from Latin into English," he said.

"Wow! Saint Thomas Aquinas's Summa translated into English in Boksburg, this is really something so awesome! See it is actually very true that we always only see the tip of the iceberg."

"Did you know that the Saint Thomas Aquinas was also a Dominican Priest," he said.

"No I didn't. Well then it makes sense that the East Rand Dominican friars would want to translate his work into English."

"What are you going to do today?" He asked her.

"I have to finish two Unisa assignments."

"Are you enjoying your Unisa studies," he asked.

"Oh yes. I am really enjoying my Unisa studies. I have learnt so much. Learning by correspondence is like reading for a degree in the old fashion sense. You are not passively receiving information, but are involved actively in self-directed study in finding out things for yourself. So you end up comprehending and remembering a lot of stuff."

"What are the assignments on," I asked

"I have an English assignment and a Religious Studies assignment."

"What do you have to do for the assignments?"

"You are so curious," she laughed.

"Well of course. I am interested in what you studying. You never ask what I am doing."

"That is because I won't understand a thing about Zoology or Mathematics," she said.

"Ask me I will make it simple."

"I will, I will, but I can't think about anything right this moment," She laughed:

"So what are your assignments on?" I prompted her.

"My English assignment is on Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights."

"And the other assignment," I asked.

"Do really want know?"

"Yes."

"It is on the problem of theodicy," she said.

32

After Mass on Sundays Aaron began to give Geraldine driving lessons on the sand road in the blue gum plantation on the west side of Cinderella Dam. Afterwards they would park in their favourite secluded spot in the shade of a stand of very tall and ancient blue gum trees, and talk.

"What is the problem of theodicy," Aaron asked suddenly out of the blue.

She laughed.

"I received my first introduction into the problem of theodicy from you Aaron my darling," she said.

"Don't you remember the first time we held hands at Cinderella Dam on the walk we took to the wall with my cousins? You told me about the African Jacana and polyandry and then we spoke about the fall of man and the origin of evil. I have never forgotten that discussion we had, that day was one of the most wonderful days in my life. I will always remember it with such fondness. You were so sweet, taking my hand. I nearly died, it was so wonderful."

"I will also never forget that day," Aaron said

"The term was coined by the German philosopher Gottfried Leibniz. He wrote a book called 'Théodicée'. Theodicy deals with the problem of trying to reconcile or justify the existence of evil and suffering with the existence of an omniscient , omnipotent, infinity good and infinitely benevolent God. Given the actual evidence for the existence of evil and suffering in the world theodicy represents a philosophical defence for the existence of an infinitely powerful, infinitely good and infinitely benevolent God, even in spite of this fact. An anti-theodicy rejects all arguments justifying the co-existence of evil plus suffering and God. Some people reckon that the Book of Job represents an anti-theodicy," she said.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Well the standard defence of theodicy is based on the idea of human free will. If we accept the existence of free will then basically the existence God is not incompatible with the existence of evil and suffering. A second point that needs to be considered in the defence of theodicy is that evil and suffering does not exist in nature. This is point that you made that day when we were standing on the dam wall at Cinderella Dam. You said that nature or the Cosmos are not intrinsically evil. Evil and suffering are human concepts that describe human experiences emanating from human actions. You said that we cannot say that in nature living organisms experience evil and suffering in the same sense that humans do," she said.

"We can argue that evil and suffering involves the intentional or premeditated unjustified infliction of harm and injury on a person who is innocent. That person then suffers evil as an innocent victim. We agreed that persons exercising their free will are the source or agency of evil and suffering. It is very important to recognize that evil and suffering are only experienced by persons in a definite context and situation, which is always outside of the state of nature. This is exactly what you said. It is amazing, I think you are a genius to have seen this," she said, flashing a smile at Aaron, who began to look so smug, that she could not help laughing.

"You should see your face, you look very pleased with yourself, I'm also amazed, I would never have guessed that I would use what we discussed on that day in a Unisa assignment," she said.

"You even mentioned the idea of the 'World' which has now become crucial in the analysis of the origin of evil and suffering. Well you were spot on my love. So we have this idea of the 'World' which is the special and unique situation of man's existence. Man is that special kind of animal that lives in a realm which we call the World. This was such a wonderful idea. I discovered something quite interesting the other day. According to a philosopher called Martin Heidegger only humans have a World. This is exactly what you said that day. Animals do not have a world in the same sense as humans. Animals occupy a natural niche or a natural habitat. Their world is the realm of nature. Our World co-exists side by side with the realm nature. It is true what you said about man leaving the state of nature. In a sense humans have in deed left the realm of nature and the emergence of evil and suffering coincided with man's exit from the realm of nature into the realm of mind and culture. But man has not completely escaped or fully completed his exit from the realm of nature because he stills remains vulnerable to natural processes and natural agents such as drought, floods, earthquakes, snow, wind, hurricanes, tornados, cyclones, lighting, rain, hail, natural fires, volcanoes, wild animals, pathogens, disease, illness and death. However, none of these processes are in themselves intrinsically evil. It would be completely irrational to call any of these natural phenomena evil. They are not intrinsically evil in themselves. Even cancer is not intrinsically evil; it is a part of nature. Disease and illness are natural processes and therefore are not in themselves intrinsically evil phenomena even though they cause suffering. Human suffering due to illness and disease should be excluded from the problem of theodicy," Geraldine said.

"So we can safely conclude that only humans live in a World and it is only in this World that evil and suffering exist?" Aaron said.

"Yes, I am in full agreement with that idea, it is only humans possessing free will that live in a World, and it is the conscious exercise of free will in this kind of a World that makes evil and suffering possible, " she replied, " however I need to add an important point."

"Give me a moment I just need to get my thoughts sorted out on this point," she said.

"OK I know what I want to say. Theoretically God could have created humans that did not have the capacity or predisposition to inflict harm and injury on each other," she said.

She paused, looking out at the streams of sunlight penetrating the canopies of the blue gum trees, creating scattered spots of bright light on the carpet of leaf litter covering the surface.

"I don't know much about human biology or human brain function but making humans harmless may only be possible by removing their free will. But if they did not possess free will and were incapable of doing harm they would most likely behave just like programmed robots without any emotion or empathy. They would be harmless, but at the same time they would be very freaky automata that merely resemble human beings. In fact they would be zombies."

"What you are saying is that to be fully human we have to possess free will and possession of free will gives us the capacity to do harm and having this capacity will inevitably result in us committing acts that harm and injure others," Aaron asked.
"Yup, that is exactly what I mean," she said, "but man has also acquired the capacity or the ability to discriminate between right and wrong, and between good and evil. He has, as Genesis tells us, acquired knowledge of good and evil."

She elaborated: "Man is no longer innocent. He understands what sin is. He knows that sin involves the transgression of divine laws or violation of divines laws, for example the Ten Commandments. To avoid sinning it is necessary to obey or observe or uphold the divine laws. Jesus said that the whole Law and all the prophets are fulfilled by loving God with all our mind, soul and strength, and loving our neighbour as ourselves."

"On a practical level loving our neighbours as ourselves means at its most basic level not harming or injuring our neighbours in any way. Now loving our neighbours as ourselves is the opposite of the coin to loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. The two laws are inseparable we cannot say we really love God if we don't love our neighbours as ourselves."

"Do you remember the parable of the sheep and goats in the Gospel of Matthew? In the parable the King separated the goats from the sheep. He put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. To the sheep on his right he said 'come you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you and clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' But when he told them this, the righteous answered the King saying: 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you water to drink, or seeing you as a stranger and invited you in, or see you needing clothing and clothed you, or seeing you sick or in prison and visiting you ?' The King then replied 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me'."

"Now comes the punch line that explains the whole economy of sin and the idea of debt in terms of the accumulation of transgressions against God. Turning to those on his left the King said: 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' On hearing these accusations they answered the King: 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' The King replied and said: 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' "

"From this we can conclude that the intentional or premeditated unjustified infliction of harm and injury on a person who is innocent is also a direct attempt to harm or injure God. I say attempt because it is impossible to harm or injure God. I believe the intentional attempt to harm and injure God in this way is what constitutes sin. Even though God cannot be harmed or injured in anyway by the actions of human beings, God's judgement could be exercised in terms of a legitimate response to these actions and non-actions. He ruling would be that we have tried to harm and injure Him by withholding generosity, kindness, compassion, consideration, respect, love, dignity from your fellow human beings. In addition His ruling would be that we have tried to harm and injure him intentionally, with premeditation, by committing acts such as, murder, theft, rape, fraud, exploitation, discrimination, against Him, against Him by virtue of inflicting harm and injury of the least of these who are God's own brothers and sisters, indeed we have tried to injure and harm God, and this is the absurd and irrational dimension of sin. In this sense sin is a rebellion against reason, a rebellion against common sense, a disregard for common decency and kindness. A lack of simple kindness is the most basic sin, the foundation of all sin."

After pondering on what she had just said, she expanded further:

"As the injured party God is ethically and morally entitled to take action against sinners so that justice prevails, not only with respect to Himself but also with the respect to those humans who God has embraced as his own family: 'for one of the least of these brothers'. But God cancels the debt for all the transgressions against Himself and against the 'least of these brothers' that have been accumulated by the whole of humanity. God cancelled this debt for the whole of humanity at Golgotha."

"Does all this make sense?" Geraldine finally asked.

"Yes," he answered, "it seems that Religious Studies can be quite a fascinating course."

"Yes it is. I am glad I have taken it as one of my majors. Academically it is quite a broad field. To start with there are many different arbitrary starting points and many different assumptions and many different approaches to the study of religion. To make matters even more difficult there are also a variety of definitions of what religion actually is. So all in all there are a wide range of different views and conflicting opinions on the exact nature of the human phenomenon that we call religion and all that kinda stuff. "

"Yes especially all that kinda stuff and all and all," Aaron replied as a joke.

"You see I have started to talk like you, using words like 'kind of', 'that kinda of stuff' and 'all and all' and 'so all in all'. Do know that the chief character in Holden Caulfield book the Catcher in the Rye also ends his sentences with the words 'all and all'. "

"I know that the English we speak sometimes is quite terrible. At least it is not like the incomprehensible English of Alex in the 'A Clockwork Orange' where he has invented his own language with words like appy polly loggy for apology, baboochka for an old woman, baddiwad for bad, brtiva for a razor, devotchka for a girl, koshka for a cat."

Aaron laughed and she also laughed.

"No it's actually not that terrible. I know what you mean, well sort of. Actually what do mean when you say 'all and all' at the end of the sentence?" She looked at him with glowing eyes of warmth towards him.

"I don't know?" he also laughed.

She laughed back: "Going back to 'A Clockwork Orange' at least I could eventually got the general drift about what was been said in that book. Have you ever tried to read James Joyce's' Finnegans Wake'? "

"No I haven't."

"Well if you want read it you will need a glossary for every word or sentence in the book."

"What other topics have you covered in Religious Studies?"

"The syllabus has been quite interesting. We have done stuff on Atheism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism. For Christianity we have done a lot of stuff on the history of the church, the reformation, counter-reformation, Protestant doctrines, and Catholic doctrines. In the philosophy of religion we also covered the basics of various Christian thinkers like St Thomas Aquinas, St Anselm, William of Ockham, Nicholas of Cusa, Pascal, Luther, and John Calvin. We also covered a bit of stuff on Nietzsche, Feuerbach, Hume, Spinoza and Kant and so. We also have done some very introductory stuff on the philosophy of religion, psychology of religion, sociology of religion and anthropology of religion. The course over the past two years has been a bit of fruit salad but I have found it extremely interesting and have really enjoyed topic. I found the philosophy of religion interesting and quite challenging. I think that on the whole Religious Studies has been excellent course. "

"Okay now you can tell what have been doing in Zoology," she said.

"We have had lectures on animal embryology, animal physiology, animal ecology and animal evolution. And I have been doing some of my own stuff with Brother John."

"Your own stuff with Brother John? What do mean with Brother John? Is this stuff for marks or not."

"It's a research project we have do as part of the course."

"What are doing for your research project?"

"It is on male intromission organs in some insects."

"What are male intromission organs?"

"Male sex organs."

"Oh. That is quite a strange research topic and how does Brother John feature in all of this?"

"He is one of the Dominican Brothers. He is an entomologist and naturalist whose special scientific interest is the sex organs or reproductive apparatus of various insects. He has published a number of his studies on the sex organs of insects in various scientific journals. He is actually quite a renowned expert in this field of Darwinian sexual selection? We have also had some deep theological discussions on the evolution of sex."

"Aaron you are weird, really weird. If I did not know you as well as I do, I think I would be very worried and concerned about you."

"I would like to know what makes the male sexual apparatus of these insects so fascinating to you and Brother John," she said.

"I can only really tell you later after I have completed my investigation. Brother John has shown me how to dissect the sex organs and I am still busy making drawings of the dissected organs and all that kind of stuff. I also have to do some behavioural studies which involves observing the insect's mating behaviour under natural conditions and this is taking up a lot of time."

She looked at her watch. "We better be going."

Aaron dropped her off by the blue gum tree near Drommedaris Street.

"The problem of evil has been misconstrued?" Aaron said as they drove towards Middel Road.

"I know, and it is has a created a false problem," she said.

"A false problem?" he asked.

"Yes in relation to God's existence," she said.

"How so?"

"We will talk about,"

"Should I drop you off by our tree, I see the coast is clear."

"Have you heard of Hannah Arendt's book 'The banality of evil'?" She asked.

"No."

Aaron made a u-turn and stopped near a huge towering blue gum tree.

"There is our tree," he said.

"I love our tree," she said, "I don't know how many times I have walked to that tree with my heart pounding with expectation."

"Me too," he said.

33

She told Aaron to have a haircut, wear a suit and tie, and make sure that his shoes were polished. Aaron went to Jock's old barber shop next to the Transvaal Hotel and had his hair cut a bit shorter than usual. The Boksburg Municipal Traffic Offices were in Adderley Street behind the Boksburg Library. Geraldine's appointment for her driver's license was at 14.00. Aaron parked the car under a tall blue tree close to the testing yard located behind the Traffic Department building. The entrance for non-whites was at the back of the building facing the yard. Geraldine was standing at the entrance waiting for Aaron. She was wearing her cobalt dress with dark navy sandals. Her dark navy blue bag was slung over shoulder.

He walked up to her.

"Are you feeling nervous?"

"A bit."

She looked at her watch. It was 13.55. She was looking worried and a bit unsure.

"I think I should go in now and wait by the counter. I know you have report at the counter when you come for the learners. Maybe I should tell the lady behind the counter that my appointment for the driver's license test is at 14.00. "

"I will wait outside here by the entrance"

There was a dry wall separating the larger white's only counter in the front of the building from the smaller counter for non-whites at the back of the building. Through the open door in the dry wall partition Aaron could see into the whites' only section. Every year on the day before the car licenses expired there would be always be long car license renewal queues in the white's only section. People always left their car license renewals to the 11th hour.

Geraldine walked in and stood by the non-white counter. Aaron stood watching from outside. She spoke to the white lady behind the counter. The lady told her to wait. Apparently the driving inspector knew about Geraldine's appointment and would be coming soon. Geraldine sat down on the wooden bench near the counter. After a few minutes the driving inspector arrived with his pen, clipboard and note pad. When he entered the room Geraldine immediately stood up and made a quick graceful curtsey.

Aaron was astonished at her spontaneous display of respectful deference to the white official. She shouldn't have done it. It was not necessary. He was not doing her a favour. He was only performing his duties. Aaron decided to keep quiet and not say anything about it later to her even though her act of black deference to white officialdom left him feeling angry and disturbed.

Introducing Aaron to the white official she said: "This is my boss Mr Finnegan. He has kindly allowed me to use his car for the driving test."

Even though he was amused at her patent misrepresentation of his role he managed maintain a straight face.

The official nodded his head and briefly eyed Aaron out. He had also tested Aaron for his learner's and driver's license, but he showed no signs that he recognized Aaron. Turning to Geraldine he told her to drive the car into yard for the parking test and reversing tests. Aaron gave Geraldine the car keys and she walked to the car.

She got in, started the car and drove into the yard. She parked and reversed the car perfectly. He then got into the passenger side of the car and they drove off. Aaron waited outside by the non-white entrance. Thirty minutes later they drove back into the yard. Geraldine parked the car in the parking space in the yard. They both got out. He didn't wait for her but starting walking immediately to the offices carrying his clip board. She followed him walking several paces behind him.

Not sure what to do she followed him inside the building and down the passage way to his office. He turned around and told her go back and wait by the counter as he was going to process her driving results in his office. She sat down on the wooden bench, her back straight, her knees pressed together, and her hands clutching her bag on her lap. She closed her eyes. Her lips moved briefly in a silent pray. This was something Aaron got used to seeing. Whenever she prayed silently in her mind her lips would move

Aaron remained at his post waiting at the entrance observing what was going on inside. She glanced at him anxiously. She wore a worried frown. The official came back and asked her for her ID card and passport photos. She opened her bag, took out the ID card, then the little envelope containing the passport photos and gave it to him. He went away. This looked promising. She glanced again at Aaron. He gave her the thumbs up sign and she smiled back a smile of relief. The driving inspector returned. She jumped up from the bench. He issued her with her driver's license and gave back her ID card. Before he could turn away she quickly curtseyed and started to thank him profusely as if he had done her a great favour. Aaron again decided not say anything about this. It was the first time he had been able to observe Geraldine's demeanour and behaviour in an official public space in the presence of white people who were in positions of authority. It was a profound revelation. He had never seen such docile and deference behaviour from her before. She was going to be his wife and he felt personally insulted that Geraldine the love of his life felt it necessary to display her deference and respect so visibly before white officialdom. Her pigmentation may be black but she was highly intelligent, educated, sophisticated and an exceedingly good person.

After she had received her driver's license it was like they were both walking on air as they walked back to Aaron's car. As they drove out of the yard Aaron asked her if he should take her back to her work.

"No. I have taken the afternoon off. Please let's go look at second-hand cars. I want to buy a car as soon as possible. "

"What kind of car are you interested in?"

"I want a VM Beetle like yours. Maybe blue or a red blue colour, but it doesn't matter really, as long as it is good condition. Even plain white would do."

"Aaron my darling I need to thank so much for everything."

"It was pleasure."

"I want you to know that I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help. You taught me to drive. Without your car and without you taking off time to come with me to the License Department it would never have been possible for me get my driver's license. It is such a relief. It means so much me having a driver's license. It has given so such new lease on life, it really is so empowering."

"I think your exaggerating my role. I'm sure your dad would have helped you."

"What my dad? Never! You got to be joking. I don't even think he is my real father. If he really cared he would be taking me now to look at cars. He would have taught me to drive. He was never interested in me as person. He was only concerned about his standing and reputation. He made it very clear to me that if I did anything that ruined his reputation there would hell. It was always his reputation that was at stake but never my personal welfare or happiness."

This new revelation came as a shock to Aaron.

"As long as I was not doing anything that would damage his standing and reputation I was pretty much left me to my own devices. Did it never seem strange to you to see a young teenage girl walking alone across the veld in a Location to buy bread and milk at Patel's Shop in Kalamazoo?"

Aaron did in fact wonder about this.

"Having him as my father did have its advantages. He was a real terror. People in the township were frightened of him. Working with the police he quickly sorted out the Coloured gangs. They were scared stiff of him. He was the high school principal. He was on good terms with the police and white officialdom. The Coloured riffraff knew that I was his daughter and they left me alone. If they come near me they knew there would hell. He would have had them killed. I am actually sure he could have any of them killed by the police. It could have been arranged quite easily. Preventing anyone from molesting me was not done for my safety. It was done for the sake of his protecting his good reputation. It would have been bad for his image and standing in the community if I got pregnant or if someone raped me. What he feared the most was me becoming pregnant. It would have meant that he had failed as a parent. He would then become just another failed nobody like all the others in the Location with a pregnant daughter hanging around his house eating his food and being good for nothing. Boyfriends were forbidden, full-stop."

"I was also quite a snob. I looked down my nose at the Coloured boys in the neighbourhood. I never did anything to encourage them. In fact I loathed them. All they could all talk about was naai (sex) and steek (sex)."

"I have looked at my birth date and their wedding date. My Mom was 3 months pregnant when she got married. She became involved with my dad on the rebound. I am sure my dad is not my real biological father. This would explain everything, his coldness towards me, his indifference to my all achievements at school, his reluctance to help with money when I needed financial assistance. I had to borrow money from you and my aunt for the Unisa registration fees and for all my text books. He never really wanted to invest time, emotions and money in me. Why should he if I was the progeny of some other man. I think it grates him that he had to bring up some else's kid. I now understand why he behaved like he did. But was it necessary? It was not my fault. I don't hate him. I needed a father. I wanted a father. It never mattered to me who my real father may have been. I viewed him as my dad, and wanted him to be my dad, he could have reciprocated and loved me as his own daughter, this is what I wanted and what I needed from him."

"What about your Mom?"

"She really did nothing. She would never stand up to him. I think she was filled with guilt. She was also grateful that he at least did provide a home for me and was in a way a father to me. In this sense he was an honourable man. If she was pregnant with another man's child she should have let him know. I think the trouble was that she let him think that I was his child. She may have even encouraged him to believe this. Then everything backfired. You can image what it must have been like for them when I was born and they saw just how black I was. This must have sown the seeds of doubt in his mind. It is hard not to feel sorry for them. I don't know. Life can become so complicated."

"The other three kids were all born with light skins. I am literally the black sheep of the family. Look, if he just showed affection to me right from the start when I was a small child I would have bonded to him as if he were my biological father. He could never bring himself to hold me or cuddle me as a small child. Things could have been different. I don't bear any grudges against my parents. They are human. They have provided a home for me and a good upbringing."

He could see she wanted to say something to him.

"Please don't be shocked by what I going to say, but you have not only been my boyfriend, you have also been a kind of a father figure to me," she said.

He smiled.

"It does not shock me. It actually makes me feel good. You must have a very high regard for me," he said, with genuinely happy look on his face.

"I do, I do have a very high regard for you."

"Well I also have a very high regard for you," he said.

"I know," she laughed.

"While I worked at Sonny Colbert's, one of the seamstresses who also from came Reiger Park was married to jobless drunk her beat up regularly. She was the sole breadwinner and she was living a terrible life, yet she managed to be happy, in spite of everything. She often said that Jesus was her father, husband, brother and friend. She did not need any other man in her life. What do you think of that?"

"It is amazing. She must be a very strong and wonderful woman."

"Yes, she is. I admired her."

34

They drove to Lindsay Saker in Benoni. The salesman showed them a range of second VW Beetles. Eventually she settled for a second hand white VW Beetle that was recently traded in for new car. It was almost in mint condition.

They took the car for a test drive. He drove it. Everything seemed to be order. Geraldine was ecstatic with car. Geraldine announced her intentions to buy the car.

"I will take this car. How do I buy it? I want to pay cash."

The salesman raised his eyebrows. We followed the salesman to his office completed all the paper work. Aaron was worried whether she had enough money.

"Do have the cash?"

"Not on me now. I will have to draw it tomorrow. The car has to be first registered in name. I think it will take a day or two before I take over ownership of the car. I will pay when I take delivery of the car."

"Look it still early, let's go for drive and park somewhere before I drop you off," he said.

The disclosures that she had made regarding her parents did not dampen their excitement. Both Aaron and Geraldine had been on an extreme high since the afternoon. He still felt the afterglow of the buzz and excitement that had been generated by the passing of a very eventful day. First her getting her drivers' license and now the prospect that she will soon have her own car.

35

Aaron drove down Trichardt Road until it ended at a junction at the main road to Brakpan. On the other side road was a rural gravel road. He crossed the main road and drove along gravel road, turned off onto a narrow sand road. They parked under a row of blue gums near Mapleton Station.

Aaron still felt angry about what he had witnessed at the licensing office. He tried to talk in an oblique and tactful fashion about the fact that no one in South Africa should feel compelled or obliged to comport themselves to white people in an overly respectful manner. Her reply was a short: 'I know.' And he decided not to pursue the topic further. However he had opened the door to a political discussion.

"I have just finished reading a book called Woman in Berlin. It is the diary written by an anonymous author who had been repeatedly raped and abused by Russian soldiers. After the fall of Berlin and during the Russian occupation there was a mass rape of German women. Between 95 000 and 130 000 German women were repeatedly raped and abused in Berlin by the Russian soldiers. It is estimated that following the invasion of Germany by the Russians more than 2.0 million German women were raped by Russian soldiers," she said, "and this was the final aftermath of the war for these women after having survived the daily bombing air raids, all kinds of physical deprivation including starvation."

"What was interesting was the national coercion of silence that prevailed over Germany, forcing all German women to remain silent about their having been raped and their experiences of sexual violation," she said.

"All of these women must have assented in some degree to the Nazi State under the rule of Hitler," he said, knowing about the genocidal atrocities that the Germans had inflicted on the Russians on the eastern front, following the German invasion of Russia.

"So you think they got their just deserts, that their suffering and pain was their deserved recompense, their wages of sin, for the Holocaust and for the devastation visited on the Russian people by the German invasion," she said.

"Yes," Aaron answered.

"What about apartheid? Will the whites get their just deserts, will they have to pay the wages for sins which whites committed against the blacks?" She asked.

"Well in a sense as we have previously discussed the fact that the collective perpetrators of apartheid have already suffered many catastrophes before and after the Boer War. Will they have to suffer another catastrophe for apartheid as just punishment? Apartheid may be evil but it cannot become be compared to the horror inflicted on the tens of millions by the Nazi Germany and by the Soviet Union, " he replied, "apartheid has not resulted in the scale of mass genocide as has been the case under both Communism and National Socialism. In fact genocide has not been necessary for the implementation of apartheid. In an ironical way the ideology of apartheid is strongly opposed to the mass genocide of people on the basis of race or ethnicity. Apartheid is ironically about the survival and preservation of different races, tribes and ethnic groups, not their mass annihilation of people because they happened to be different. Under Communism and National Socialism genocide was a necessity, enemies of the people have to be liquidated. The idea of enemies of the people was a foreign concept to apartheid ideology and mass liquidation of people as enemies of the people was not only contrary to values and metaphysics of the apartheid ideologues it was an abhorrent idea to the true believers of apartheid that is the people who sought a religious justification for apartheid. Yet ironically trying to justify apartheid in terms of Christian Theology proved ultimately to be impossible; it was like trying to find a square circle. It proved impossible to formulate and articulate a coherent Christian justification for apartheid. How could any intellectually honest person even hope to succeed in doing this when apartheid was so thoroughly and so deeply anti-Christian? Paradoxically apartheid has turned out to be fundamentally an abhorrent and distorted form of secular humanism. Its highest value was the preservation of human diversity for its own sake, as a secular metaphysics rooted in a distortion of humanism and modernism. Verwoerd was also technocrat with a high regard to science. He was not overtly a religious man and he definitely did not respect the theological fraternity of the Dutch Reform Church, or even their theologically motivated justification of apartheid. Apartheid as a political ideology did not seek the destruction of diversity, but sought to glorify ethnic diversity as a supreme value over and above all other values. However making the preservation of ethnic diversity a supreme and overriding value was motivated by ulterior and darker political motives and goals. It also functioned as the justification for a racist social-economic-political agenda and also sanctioned the political domination of blacks and the exploitation of their labour. Ultimately it was integral to the political strategy for the entrenchment of white political power over blacks. And this was justified as being necessary for the preservation of white identity, white privilege and the white way of life, at the expense of everyone else, it was inherently heartless, cruel, racist, selfish and self-centred."

Geraldine listened patiently and attentively to Aaron. She basically agreed with Aaron's take on apartheid. She was happy that Aaron had always been consistently emphatic that apartheid was in its deepest essence a system that was irredeemably incompatible with Christianity.

"All of man's efforts to engineer the consummation of history will end in slavery and the loss of individual freedom. Both apartheid and communism seek to engineer the consummation of history. The consummation of history is based on pure fantasy, fantasies about the end of conflict, economies without money, the withering away of the state, the abolition of private property, the abolition of the family. All of these fantasies are rooted in the necessity of realizing one single ultimate goal, which is the abolition of individual freedom as an intrinsic value requiring no justification. Both Marxists and apartheid ideologists stigmatized the idea of individual freedom and individual autonomy as an intrinsic values requiring no justification, because to both, the idea that every individual's should be allowed the freedom to pursue their own dream of the Good Life remains a supreme abomination. But without institutions that guarantee individual freedom and individual autonomy, societies will be unable to reform themselves. Without a self-regulatory mechanism based on individual freedoms, despotic systems like communism and apartheid are incapable of reforming themselves or correcting their mistakes or avoid collapsing into complete disaster," she said.

"You once said the existence of evil has been used as an argument for the non-existence of God. I would like to say that the existence of evil has its root in the non-existence of individual freedom rather than in the non-existence of God," Aaron said.

"The existence of evil is a premise in the argument for the non-existence of God. The argument is quite interesting. It can be formulated as follows: If God exists, then we would expect that God is omnipotent, omniscient, and morally perfect. If God is omnipotent, then God has the power to eliminate all evil. If God is omniscient, then God knows when evil exists. If God is morally perfect, then God has the desire to eliminate all evil. Evil exists. If evil exists and God exists, then either God doesn't have the power to eliminate all evil, or doesn't know when evil exists, or doesn't have the desire to eliminate all evil or God simply doesn't care that evil exists. Therefore, God doesn't exist," said Geraldine.

They sat in silence mulling over the points made in their discussion. Geraldine stared at the maize fields. The while silks of the large cobs had become dark brown tufts of dry hair and white maize tassels rattled in the breeze.

"The whole argument rests on the premise that evil exists. What is evil? We need to define evil. Maybe the existence of evil does not work as a premise in the above argument. Evil is not victimless. There cannot be evil without a victim of evil. A victim is someone whose freedom has been violated in a manner that causes harm. Furthermore, a victim is someone who has suffers an injury or harm caused by someone motivated by evil intentions. What kind of injury can a victim suffer from? The Ten Commandments gives a generic list of the kinds of injury that can be inflicted upon a victim. It is a sin to violate any of the Ten Commandments. We can argue that evil is sin, and sin comes into existence when any of the Ten Commandments are violated. Without any commandments or laws to violate neither evil nor sin would exist. If there was no moral order then neither evil nor sin would exist, nor would there be victims," she said.

"If no moral order existed then there would be no victims, there would only be prey," Aaron said.

"Precisely," Geraldine answered.

"So now we have to connect the ideas of evil, sin, victimhood, intention and freedom negatively or positively to God's existence," Aaron proposed.

"Let's try and see how freedom links up with evil and sin," Geraldine said.

"I have an idea," she said.

"Loving one's neighbour as oneself is not only a commandment, it also an intrinsic value requiring no justification. It has benefits which are life enriching and definitely makes life more meaningful. When everyone loves their neighbour then human life flourishes. Loving God with all your heart, mind, with all your strength is also not only a commandment, but also an intrinsic value requiring no justification. When everyone loves God human life flourishes. So this commandment also has similar benefits. I would also like to propose that while the intrinsic value of individual freedom should not require any justification, it does receive additional warrant from the two commandments. On a practical level the fulfilment of the two commandments guarantees individual freedom. Now I would like to say something about free will. We are invited as fraternal friends to observe a profound act of solidarity between ourselves, God and our neighbours, by freely obeying the first two commandments. But we can only genuinely or authentically exercise solidarity if we have free will," she said.

"Free will?" Aaron asked looking slightly surprised.

"Yes free will, which is actually a free gift from God to us, his creatures," she said.

"Yeah, but it seems that free will has become an unbearable burden for man," he replied, "I don't hold out much hope for fraternal friendship and solidarity between man through the exercise of free will."

"Well Jesus is our example to follow. God incarnate showed solidarity with the sick, the poor, the down trodden, the broken hearted, the hungry, the weak, the dying, the homeless, the jobless, I can go on and on if you want me to. He said 'what you do to the least of these brothers, you do to me.' As I said before there is a positive and negative aspect to the doing," Geraldine said, "the positive side is the fulfilment of the two commandments and the negative side is to do evil and earn the wrath of God, because the oppressed cry out day and night to God. And God identifies with the oppressed, He refers to them as the least of his brothers and sisters, and whatever we do to the least of God's brothers and sisters we do to Him."

"It is interesting to contrast the Hebraic source of evil with the Hellenistic source of evil. Plato who was influenced by the Orphic view of evil, which sees the body as the source of evil, and sees salvation as the liberation of the soul from the body," Aaron said.

"I know, with Plato, the soul is contaminated by the body, and can only become pure once it has been liberated from the body," she said, "and the soul can only be liberated from the body's contamination by abstaining from all the pleasures of the body, especially from sexual pleasure."

"Is it true that the Greeks believed that the bodies of women contained more evil that the bodies of men?" Geraldine asked with a playful smile on her face.

"Yes sort of. For some reason, the Greeks believed that women were enslaved to sexual pleasure, and viewed female sexuality as threatening to the moral order. Female sexuality was believed to be the source of evil, death and illness. In Hesiod's Theogony and Works and Days Pandora was the first woman created by the gods and she was created to punish men for Prometheus' crime which was the theft of fire for mankind from the gods. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to mould the beautiful Pandora out of a lump clay. After she was created all the gods in the Olympiad gave her different gifts or talents. The talents that the god Hermes gave her included a shameful mind, a deceitful nature, and the power of speech to tell lies. Hermes gave her the name 'Pandora' which meant she was highly gifted with many 'talents.' Apart from all the many talents she was also given a jar before she was offered as a beautiful and tempting gift to mankind. But unknown to mankind she was an evil curse in disguise. The jar was filled with lots of evil stuff such as 'burdensome toil and sickness that brings death to men, diseases and 'a myriad other pains.' "Aaron expounded.

"Prometheus suspecting that the god will take revenge for the theft of the fire warns his brother Epimetheus not to trust any gift that Zeus may offer. Epimetheus ignores Prometheus's advice to be cautious. He finds that he cannot resist accepting the beautiful Pandora as gift from Zeus. She is beautiful but unknown to Epimetheus she is also filled with evil and deceit. Pandora then opens her jar and scatters it contents abroad, which includes death, disease and pain, thus filling the entire earth and sea with evil. The only thing that does not escape from the jar, but remains behind trapped in the bottom of the jar is hope. One of the lessons that the Pandora myth is supposed to teach are that hidden within the disguise of female beauty lurks the evil of death. Through Pandora the hidden scourge of evil and death was passed onto all women." Aaron elaborated further.

After listening to Aaron, she said,

"The myth of Pandora is plainly a theodicy explaining the origin of evil in which men are exonerated, women are blamed and the gods are vengeful."

36

Two days later on the afternoon of Maundy Thursday Aaron dropped Geraldine off at Lindsay Saker and waited in his car parked outside while she went in to fetch her car. Geraldine drove her car home in peak hour traffic. Aaron followed behind until she took the Middel Road turn-off to Reiger Park. She said she would be coming in her own car to the Maundy Thursday service at 7.00 that evening at St Dominic's Catholic Church.

That evening Aaron parked in his usual place in Kaapse Street. Geraldine would be parking behind or somewhere close to his car. She had not arrived yet. Her parents knew that she would be coming home in her 'new' car. Aaron didn't think they would be able to stop her from attending the service on her own this evening now that she had her own means of transport.

He tried to prepare his mind for the service as he walked down Market Street towards St Dominic's.

Shortly after taking his seat in a pew next to the aisle on the right hand side close to the back, he instinctively shifted into the kneeling position and prayed. Opening his eyes towards the altar, he saw the three alb-vested servers emerge from the sacristy. Remaining in the kneeling position he watched them carrying out their duties in the sanctuary. One of the servers began to light the liturgical candles. He first lit the Paschal candle, and then the six altar candles, and finally the two procession candles held by the two acolytes. Every Easter a new Paschal candle is lit, where the name 'Paschal' is derived from the Hebrew word Pesach, which means Passover. The Paschal candle symbolizes the Hebraic Paschal mystery of God's salvation. As a towering large white candle it symbolizes the pillar of cloud that lead the Israelites in their Exodus from slavery in Egypt to the promised land of Canaan. Canaan being the land originally promised by God to Abraham. When the Paschal candle is lit, its burning flame symbolizes the column of fire that lead the Israelites at night during their Exodus from Egypt.

The flame of the Paschal candle that burns before the altar throughout the year, from Easter to Easter, represents the presence of the Messiah, the Alpha and Omega, the Light of the World, which burns in the midst of His people.

For the ordinary Catholic believer there is always another reality behind all appearances, behind all accidents of colour, sound, taste, fragrance, and behind all the textures that excite the manifold feelings of touch. To the question, 'where is God?' the answer to the Catholic is that God is everywhere. Everywhere His fingerprints have left their impressions for everyone to see with the eyes of faith.

'Show us the father and we will be satisfied.' How do we see God? How can God become visible to the naked eye? How can God appear to the five senses? How can God become a visible and sensible materialization in and behind the accidents of colour, sound, taste, fragrance and touch? This questions are integral to the meaning and significance of Catholicity. Even if God can never be seen or perceived directly, to the Catholic God is always present as a Real Presence. God is always perceived as being essentially present even if He, in His essential Being, He always remains invisible and hidden from sense perception.

The Catholic sacramental view of the world has played a fundamental role in the formation of the Catholic imagination. In the Catholic imagination the presence of the invisible and hidden God becomes manifest to the sensibilities in the signs and symbols of speech, gesture, music, vestments, art, colour, fire, water, bread, and wine. Catholics live in an enchanted world of grand church architecture , of altars and sanctuaries, of rite and gesture, of the Blessed Sacrament, of tabernacles, of vestments, of processions, of chalice-ciborium-patens, of holy water and stained glass, of candles, incense and bells, of saints and rosaries, of bread and wine turned into the actual body and blood of Christ.

Catholics are sustained by the Real Presence of God in the Communion Host. For Catholics the whole world is filled with the awesome holiness of God, every good thing is a sign of God's grace. While ignoring the sensibilities of the Catholic imagination for a moment, it is not unusual from a purely philosophical or even a strictly scientific perspective to conclude that something else must exist behind the veil of sensory perception. In everyday practical life everyone lives and eventually dies as hard-nosed empiricists, trusting in nothing but the senses, the only reality that everyone can trust is the one that is accessible to the general public through sensory perception.

The results of ordinary sensory perceptions seems to suggest to us that every effect or every incident or every event that has ever occurred in the Universe must be connected to a preceding series or chain of events. We believe that behind any event there must always exists an interconnected chain of preceding events. Every event must then be the outcome or culmination of such a series of preceding events. If every event is the culmination of such a series, then how far back can any chain of events go? If we go backwards down any chain of cause and effect will it ever out of necessity eventually terminate in some first cause? The idea that there could be such a thing as a Universe that has a past history which terminates at a beginning is not irrational or logically inconceivable. A non-terminating series of events will go on backwards forever and never end at some beginning, whereas a terminating series of events will run backwards until the beginning is reached. In the latter case a series of events could begin as the result of the action of a first mover. This was something that Aaron found hard to dismiss or ignore. For Aaron, there was no logical reason or empirical proof that could compelling demonstrate in a transparent self-evident manner that the series of perceptible events such the unfolding Cosmos should not have a beginning. For Aaron, the reasons for the existence of the Universe were not empirically self-evident. The Universe was a wonderful mystery, an unexplainable enigma. Yet if God is anywhere and everywhere, God is the Beginning and the End.

Aaron realized that no one could be sure about the logical or even empirical status of such a terminating series of events. But he realized that we all know that the effects of gravity are universal and ubiquitous. Aaron also knew from physics that without the law of gravity the solar system would not have come into existence; not would have Mendeleev's periodic table of elements have come into existence. Nor would have life on earth have emerged from the dust and ashes produced by the massive explosions of countless stars after they had reached the end of their lives. Nor would the gold mines on the Witwatersrand have come into existence. And nor would he be waiting for Geraldine, if it had not being the interactions between star dust and gravity. Somehow and in some way God was 'in' the beginning of everything, and God would be 'in' the end of everything. God would be there, because God is 'in' everything. If God was not 'in' everything then God could not truly be God.

Ultimately we are just star dust.

At 18.45 Geraldine arrived dressed very smartly in a black dress with black stockings and black high heels. She took her place in the pew across the aisle from Aaron. She put on a black lace veil and knelt down to pray. He watched her pray, her lips moving silently. After praying she remained in the kneeling position with her eyes closed.

Following the foot washing ceremony and the celebration of the Eucharist the mood in the church grew more sombre. Kneeling, the grave looking parishioners stared at the altar. In the sanctuary stood the elevated high altar, the table for the sacrifice of the Mass still covered with the brilliant white cloth of pure linen. A server removed the missal from altar. After cleaning the chalice it was removed. The washing bowl, cruets containing water and wine were also removed. The paten and ciborium were removed. The pall used from covering the chalice was folded and removed. The white linen cloth called the corporal, on which the ciborium containing the consecrated bread and the chalice filled with the consecrate wine were placed after their consecration during the Eucharist, was now folded and removed. The corporal represents the burial linen in which the body of Jesus was wrapped following his death on the cross. A server extinguished the candles and returned them to their stand behind the altar. Another server removed the altar crucifix.

While the stripping of the sanctuary and altar was in progress a mood of desolation, abandonment, darkness, ordeal, passion, death descended on the congregation.

The gravity of the mood in the church became palpable, and many wept openly, as the congregation and choir solemnly recited Psalm 22, 1 – 18:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me,

so far from my cries of anguish?

My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,

by night, but I find no rest.

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;

you are the one Israel praises.

In you our ancestors put their trust;

they trusted and you delivered them.

To you they cried out and were saved;

in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

But I am a worm and not a man,

scorned by everyone, despised by the people.

All who see me mock me;

they hurl insults, shaking their heads.

He trusts in the LORD," they say,

"let the LORD rescue him.

Let him deliver him,

since he delights in him."

Yet you brought me out of the womb;

you made me trust in you, even at my mother's breast.

From birth I was cast on you;

from my mother's womb you have been my God.

Do not be far from me,

for trouble is near

and there is no one to help.

Many bulls surround me;

strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

Roaring lions that tear their prey

open their mouths wide against me.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint.

My heart has turned to wax;

it has melted within me.

My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;

you lay me in the dust of death.

Dogs surround me,

a pack of villains encircles me;

they pierce my hands and my feet.

All my bones are on display;

people stare and gloat over me.

They divide my clothes among them

and cast lots for my garment.

The altar represents the body of Jesus. The recitation of Psalm 22 while the altar was being stripped reminds the congregation of the ordeals of his arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane, his appearance before the Sanhedrin, his arraignment before Pilate and his execution by crucifixion on Golgotha.

37

At his arraignment before Pilate when Pilate asked him whether he was the king of the Jews, Jesus replied:

"Yes, it is as you say."

Pilate had been on his tour of duty as prefect of Judea since 26 BC. Tacitus attached the title of 'procurator' to Pilate by mistake. Prefects of the equestrian order were usually sent to the rough neighbourhoods of the Roman Empire. Judea was one of the roughest neighbourhoods in the Empire and Pilate was up to the task of governor is this wild neck of the woods. In Judea he was only the chief of staff or the chief commanding officer of regiments of soldiers stationed in Judea, he was also the chief magistrate and head of the judicial system in Judea. All serious criminal cases that usually involved political unrest were brought before him. The Jews were allowed to deal with other civil cases within their own courts. Crucifixion as Rome's preferred punishment for all political and criminal malcontents was routinely carried by soldiers under Pilate's authorization. The criminal offences for which the crucifixions were carried out were always officially advertised on the crosses. All sentences for crucifixions were documented in written records that were filed and archived.

Pilate as a true Roman loved the gladiatorial games that were held regularly at Caesarea. He was a man with a strong stomach, possibly the right man for Judea. But Judea was in reality a second rate back of the woods posting which he had to govern on a shoe string budget doing most of dirty judicial himself. Pilate's head office was in Caesarea. His residence was a newly built palace of white marble. He only very reluctantly made the 60 mile journey to Jerusalem when it was absolutely necessary. He was usually forced to travel to Jerusalem and stay in Jerusalem during the Jewish festivals such as Passover, Pentecost and Tabernacles. In Jerusalem he usually stayed in Herod's old palace on the western hill overlooking the city.

After the cross examination of Jesus Pilate said: "I find no fault in this man."

Why would Pilate say that? Of course he did not really believe that Jesus was not guilty of the charges that had been brought against him. Of course Pilate was not going to release Jesus. Pilate was playing a sadistic psychological cat and mouse game with the Jewish leaders. Given the evidence against Jesus it was judicially impossible for Pilate to have come to a verdict of not guilty. It was impossible for Jesus be acquitted of the capital offence of treason against the Roman Empire especially after he had admitted that he was the king of the Jews.

In fact Pilate had emphatically and bluntly pronounced the guilty verdict when he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge's seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement, which in Aramaic is Gabbatha, when he ironically said:

"Here is your king."

"We have no king but Caesar," shouted the Jewish leaders.

Following Pilate's indictment, Pilate had him flogged. After his flogging Jesus was taken into the Praetorium where a company of soldiers serving under Caesar's authority gathered around him. They stripped him of his clothes and put a scarlet robe on him, and they twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him, saying:

"Hail, king of the Jews!"

They spat on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothe on him. Then they led him away to crucify him. They came to a place called Golgotha, which means 'The Place of the Skull'. When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Above his head they placed a written charge against him: 'THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS.' The sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate saying:

"Do not write 'The King of the Jews', but that the man claimed to be king of the Jews."

Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written."

In the church the altar was now bare, the lights in the church became dim, the congregation continued to recite:

Many bulls surround me;

strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

Roaring lions that tear their prey

open their mouths wide against me.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint.

My heart has turned to wax;

it has melted within me.

My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;

you lay me in the dust of death.

The altar represents the body of Jesus and the stripping of the altar represents the humiliation of Jesus, it represents the stripping of the clothes from his body, exposing his defenceless naked body to the insults and blows of the Roman soldiers after he fallen into the hands of Roman authorities for high treason against the City of Man, against the Oligarchy, against the rise of all Oligarchies, Jesus stands guilty of high treason.

At the end of the service everyone left the church in silence. Aaron caught up with Geraldine as she made her way to her car which was parked behind Aaron's car in the dark.

38

On Good Friday just before12.00, Geraldine dressed in black arrived for the three hour passion service. She gracefully slipped into her pew and knelt down on her knees, her stomach rumbled softly from the hunger of her fast, the church was as austere and bare as a synagogue, stripped of all ornaments, the altar stark in its nakedness, the tabernacle empty, it door flung wide open. She glanced around until she saw the Finnegan family. Aaron turned his head acknowledging her presence with a meaningful glance.

The loud flat metallic clanging of a bell signalled the start of the service, calling the congregation to stand for the procession. In silence the procession solemnly entered the church, the celebrant vested in amice, alb, girdle, and black stole, the deacon before him in amice, alb, girdle, and black stole worn deacon-wise, next the sub-deacon in amice, alb and girdle, in front of him the two acolytes without processional candles,

The first reading for the Good Friday Mass was from Isaiah, which the choir and the congregation chanted antiphonically:

Who hath believed our report? And to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?

For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.

He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

The three hour Good Friday devotion called the Tre Ore or 'Three Hours' Agony' coincides with the critical time that Jesus spent on the cross, which was from 12.00 corresponding to the six hour to 15.00 which corresponds to the nine hour. During next three hours the congregation observed each of the 14 stations of the Cross:

Jesus is Condemned to Die

Jesus is Made to Bear His Cross

Jesus Falls the First Time

Jesus Meets His Mother

Simon Helps Jesus Carry His Cross

Veronica Wipes Jesus' Face

Jesus Falls the Second Time

Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem

Jesus Falls the Third Time

Jesus is Stripped

Jesus is Nailed to the Cross

Jesus Dies on the Cross

Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross

Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

Each station of the cross was observed by chanting, while kneeling, the now familiar versus from Psalm22:

Many bulls surround me;

strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

Roaring lions that tear their prey

open their mouths wide against me.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint.

My heart has turned to wax;

it has melted within me.

My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;

you lay me in the dust of death.

Between each station of the cross the congregation, recited the Hail Mary, prayed the Litany of the Passion, prayed the Our Father, listened to readings from the Gospel and listened to short homilies on the Passion.

Just before the last station of the cross and also before for the Mass, Father M gave his final short homily.

"I am going to read to you a quote from Polanyi, one of my favourite philosophers who wrote in his book Personal Knowledge the following: 'Christian worship sustains, as it were, an eternal, never to be consummated hunch: a heuristic vision which is accepted for the sake of its unresolvable tension. It is like an obsession with a problem known to be insoluble, which yet follows, against reason, unswervingly, the heuristic command: 'Look at the unknown!' Christianity sedulously fosters, and in a sense permanently satisfies, man's craving for mental dissatisfaction by offering him the comfort of a crucified God."

Let us listen and hear how strange this must all sound to the sane man in our midst. Jesus, God incarnate, was executed on a Roman cross under Pontius Pilate's authorization, who at the time, was serving in the Roman province of Judaea as the fifth Prefect under the Emperor Tiberius during the period from AD 26 to AD 36. After his tour of duty in Judaea, he would have vanished from history into complete oblivion. However, this did not happen. His name has been recalled inadvertently to memory for the last 2000 years. It is the one name we all know, Pontius Pilate. No one remembers who Emperor Tiberius was, even though as the Emperor of the Roman Empire the commanding officer of all of Rome's legions of soldiers, he was the most powerful man in the World.

The death of God on a Roman Cross under Pontius Pilate is the Paschal Mystery. Jesus as indeed very man and very God, as is so beautifully summarized in the Athanasius Creed, Jesus was indeed God incarnate. God, who made himself visible by his incarnation died in history, he died in space, at a place on a hill, and he died in the flowing stream of time, he suffered by dying a cruel and painful human death. He could do this because He was God incarnate, the word made flesh. His incarnation allowed him to exist in time and die in time or in other words, he died a contingent historical death. And here is the good news, Jesus as God incarnate rose from the dead in time, in history. On the third day he stood up and walked out of the tomb.

The word Paschal which means passing over is equivalent to the Greek word pasha which was derived from the Aramaic word pasḥā and the Hebrew word pesaḥ. It means to pass over or to spare. On the night of Passover when the Israelites left Egypt, God passed over their houses and spared them. He brought death only to the homes of the Egyptians.

Jesus, as God incarnate, died a sacrificial death on the cross as the Paschal Lamb for the forgiveness of our sins and for our redemption. If we believe in our hearts that Jesus died for our sins, we will be saved. This is the eternal hope and comfort that we can find in the crucified God, my brothers and sisters. This is the Paschal Mystery.

Geraldine had parked behind Aaron car in Kaapse Street. The street was deserted when they met by their cars after the Good Friday vigil service.

39

"What should we do? It is still so early. My folks have gone to Durban for the Easter Holidays. First, I need to eat something. I am starving, I could eat a horse, and I must have something to eat. I feel faint with hunger, especially after the service. I have not eaten since yesterday afternoon," she said, emphasizing how hungry she was.

"I have a suggestion. You can follow me to Brandkraal; I am staying there for the holidays. I will buy fish and chips on the way. On second thoughts, I have a suggestion why don't you come and spend the whole weekend with me," he said with an expectant look on his face.

"I would like to but I can't, it is too risky," she said.

On the way to Brandkraal Aaron stopped to buy fish and chips. She parked behind his car and waited for him. She thought about his suggestion that she spend the long weekend on the farm with him. It was such a tempting proposal; she began to have a feeling of regret that she had declined. She was now in two minds, they were betrothed to each other, and she had accepted his marriage proposal. If it was not for her Unisa assignments and the reading that she had to catch up with she would have accepted his offer and stayed with him for 3 nights at Brandkraal. She also wanted to spend time going through her copy of Plato's Phaedrus which Aaron had given to her. Each time she read through the dialogues she discovered something new and saw things differently, and having Aaron as her intellectual partner had turned the Phaedrus into a shared literary adventure. Aaron kept seeing new things, which spurred her on to re-read and re-think what she had read, and she too began to see and find new things, which she had not noticed before.

Working for Markus Bogoraz Attorneys as a legal clerk she soon discovered that Brandkraal was one of their clients, and they had managed to land some very lucrative produce supply contracts with the all the major supermarket supply chains. Maximillian Finnegan and sometimes Rachel Finnegan would visit the offices of Markus Bogoraz Attorneys. Smiling sweetly, Geraldine would invite them to sit down, while she phoned Mr Bogoraz, who would be sitting behind his imposing desk, in his office next door, informing him that his clients had arrived. Mr Bogoraz liked formality, he preferred that she do this rather than knock on his door. Sometimes Max and Rachel would make small talk with her while they waited. Rachel learnt that Geraldine stayed in Reiger Park and was studying through Unisa to be a teacher. When Rachel heard this she informed Geraldine, that Hillary her daughter was now also a practicing lawyer, and would soon be an advocate. She also told Geraldine that she had a son called Aaron who was studying at Wits. Mrs Finnegan confided to Geraldine that she was not sure what Aaron was going to do with his life. He was by far the brightest of her children, apart from studying and reading books, he seemed to have no other ambition in life. He may eventually become either a mathematician or a zoologist. She was sure that he was a genius, but he was also very eccentric. He did not seem to have any girlfriends. In fact, Rachel was worried that he had never had a girlfriend, even though he was a very good-looking young man. Now Nathan, Rachel informed Geraldine, was the exact opposite. He had many girlfriends and was ambitious. He was going to be a real enterprising person like his sister Hillary

Geraldine had signed a confidentiality agreement and kept her knowledge of the business affairs of Messrs Finnegan, Whitehead and Noble to herself. She had never told Aaron that she had met and spoken to both his father and mother on several occasions, and that in the capacity of her normal job duties, she established a business level acquaintance with them, as regular clients of Markus Bogoraz Attorneys.

As she followed Aaron through the gates of Brandkraal all her expectations about the nature and scale of the enterprise own by Messrs Finnegan, Whitehead and Noble were confirmed. They were indeed wealthy men. Aaron indeed came from a wealthy business minded family. Why were they still working for ERPM?

The strong smell of cattle manure hung heavy in the still air. From every direction, she could hear the loud lowing sounds of cattle reverberating through the air. They stood in their thousands, ruminating and feeding in an extensive system of feedlots that was breath taking in its scale. There were huge broiler houses of chickens and paddocks of glossy thoroughbreds.

Driving past the stables, green houses and pigsties, he turned off onto a narrow sand road. She followed his car as he drove towards an old rambling stone farmhouse, with an all-round veranda covered by projecting eaves and a red corrugated iron. It was secluded from the rest of the farm. It had a windmill and corrugated iron water reservoir in the back yard. Tall white trunked blue gum trees shielded the house from the sun and wind.

The house had been recently fully wired and now received ESKOM electricity. It had five bedrooms. All the rooms had elaborate patterned pressed metal ceilings. A large old black slow combustion stove stood in the kitchen next to an old Kelvinator fridge and a second-hand Defy Stove with four plate plates and oven. It was a huge farm kitchen finished with old pine cupboards, a large pine table with six wooden chairs. The rest of the house had been furnished with an odd assortment of second hand furniture that Rachel had picked up at auctions for a pittance.

Aaron unlocked the front door, which opened into a spacious entrance hall; Geraldine followed him through the entrance hall into a large sprawling lounge. Next to the lounge was a large dining room with massive chandelier hanging over the table.

He placed the package of fish and chips on the dining room table. Geraldine peered through the dining room door that opened into the kitchen.

"Why don't we have the supper in the kitchen, it feels a lot more welcoming," she said glancing up at the elaborate crystal chandelier.

She had found the old farmhouse enchanting. After they had finished supper Geraldine changed her mind and decided to spend the Easter long weekend with Aaron at Brandkraal. Once night had fallen they drove back to Reiger Park in Aaron's car. At her home while Aaron stayed in the parked car, she went into the house to change her clothes and packed a suitcase for her stay at Brandkraal, she also packed her Unisa books and study materials into the suitcase. Driving down Rondebult Road back to Brandkraal felt like they were going on holiday together. She found it difficult to contain her excitement at the prospect of spending three nights and three days with Aaron on the farm.

Back at the farm, Aaron showed her the bedrooms. They had an understanding that they would not have sex until their wedding night. She chose the bedroom next to the bathroom.

"I always sleep on the sofa in the lounge, if you want to you can also sleep in the lounge, we can make a bed up for you on the opposite sofa," he said.

"Don't worry it is OK, I love the room, it is going to my room at Brandkraal," she said, "let's go sit outside on the veranda; I will make a pot of tea for us."

She put the tray with the teapot, milk, sugar and mugs on the coffee table in front of the 'rimpies bank' (bench).

"What is that?" he asked.

"Books. It's the book you gave me, Plato's Phaedrus and this one id Thomas Hardy's Far from the Madding Crowd, the book for my Unisa English assignment which I will be reading this weekend. I feel total inspired to being here on the farm in the country. I so glad I changed my mind and decided to come. I have never stayed on a farm in my life. It is such a novel experience for me. Let me read you a passage from the Phaedrus. Phaedrus and Socrates have now left the city and they are walking in the countryside outside the city walls. Phaedrus say so Socrates:

What a strange person you are, Socrates; for when you are in the country, you really are like a stranger who is being led about by a guide. This comes of you never going abroad beyond the frontiers of Attica or even, as far as I can see, outside the actual walls of the city.

And then Socrates answers Phaedrus as follows:

Forgive me, dear friend, I am, you see, a lover of learning. Now people that live within city walls have something to teach me, but fields and trees won't teach me anything. But you Phaedrus have found a Pharmakon that you have used to charm me away from the city into the country side.

So here we are my dear Aaron, sitting on the stoep of this lovely farm house in the middle of countryside. You have brought me a city gal to the countryside. I cannot image a better place to read and study Thomas Hardy's book."

40

She had set her alarm clock for six o' clock, but by five o' clock she was wide awake. She lay in bed, dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of old high school tracksuit pants, listening for any sounds of life in the house. Aaron was still asleep in his sleeping bag on the lounge sofa.

In the distance she could make out the faint sounds of cattle, chickens, men shouting and the drone of farm machinery. After getting up, she tip-toed barefooted down the long passage to the lounge. The wooden floors creaked with each step. She peered into the lounge and saw that Aaron was still fast asleep. Tip-toeing back to her room, she sat on the bed and examined the room.

In the corner was a cardboard box filled with old dresses. In the cupboard hang an overall, the kind that was worn by women when doing household chores. Her room was next to the bath and toilet. She had left her towel and toiletries in the bathroom, putting on her gown she tip-toed to the bath, quickly showered in the bath, dried herself off while standing in the bath before she returning to her room to get dressed.

After changing into fresh underclothing, she pulled on a soft round necked sleeveless black blouse made from rayon Lycra fabric, with a gold dot motif. Next she pulled on a pair of clinging soft black nylon slacks that showed off the sensual contours of her buttocks, thighs and calves. Pivoting slowly before the elongated dresser's mirror she gave herself a philosophical look-over to see how she would appear to Aaron's eyes. She thought to herself:

'It is funny; I am always a spectator of the image of my own body reflected in the mirror. Once it was the object of my own private perception but now I am always looking at my body and face in another way. I want to see myself through the eyes of Aaron. I want to see what he sees. I cannot stop looking at myself because I am curious to see what kind of visual pleasure he will experience when he looks at me. But I myself cannot experience the visual pleasure that he will experience when he looks at me. What he feels physiologically speaking when he sees me is a mystery to me. Emotionally, I feel his love when looks at me. I wonder if all women are like me."

She wondered how much Plato had contributed to the compulsion to desensualize sense experience that has become so pervasive in all monotheistic religions. A desensualization of sense experience ends up encouraging an extreme hostility towards the body, especially towards the female body. How can you be a Tango dancer when your senses have become desensualized and you have a hostile attitude not only toward your own body, but towards the bodies of others, especially the body of the person encircled in your embrace? How can you dance the Tango if you have de-eroticized Eros? For a man and woman never to dance in each other's erotic embrace is to cease to be fully human.

It was interesting that Aaron in defence of Catholicism had pointed out to her the irony of how the Protestant reformers became inadvertently and unconsciously preoccupied with the doing of good works through the imposition of an inward monasticism which was practiced within the private sphere of the individual in his or her everyday life. Even Calvin could not escape the influence of Plato. In his Institutes of Christian Religion he calls the body the 'prison house' of the soul. Trapped in the body the soul is blinded by darkness because the flesh of the body is 'full of evil and perversity.' These ideas are Hellenistic and not Hebraic, they come straight from Plato's 'Phaedo'. The idea of the soul trapped in a body of flesh is foreign to the Bible.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror.

Satisfied with how she looked, she gathered her Unisa books, assignments, notes and stationary into a neat stack and with a joyful sway in her hips, and a rhythmic spring in her steps, she carried her study materials to the kitchen where laid them out neatly at one end of the table. Going through the fridge and cupboards she found milk, bowls, spoons, mugs, instant coffee, sugar, mielie meal, Jungle Oats. Shaking her head she smiled to herself, and thought: 'Aaron my darling lives like a Spartan, there is almost no food in the house. He is such a typical man. He needs a woman to take care of him.'

She put on the kettle to boil, took two mugs out of the cupboard, added coffee and sugar, poured in the boiling water, poured in the milk and stirred, and carried the two mugs of steaming coffee to the lounge.

She kissed Aaron on his cheek and gave him his coffee, he moved back so that she too could sit sofa next to him.

"I can make oats for breakfast if you like. There is not much food in the cupboards and fridge," she said, as she sipped her coffee.

"Thanks, oats will be great. If you make a list I will buy what we need from the farm store."

"Farm store?" she asked looking puzzled.

"Brandkraal has a farm store here on the farm, it's like a little supermarket, and it's almost got everything, everyone in the area buys from it."

While Aaron showered Geraldine made breakfast and the shopping list for groceries.

After they had each eaten a bowl of oats and drunk their coffee, Geraldine cleared up the kitchen table.

Aaron had been left with instructions to mow a field of lucerne that was now ready for cutting. Putting the shopping list into his pocket he headed off from the old farm house to the farm machine shed. The farm manager had taken leave with his family for the Easter weekend. His new face brick house near the machine shed was locked and the curtains were drawn. The farm would was operating on a skeleton staff for the long weekend. Aaron was in charge.

In the shed he started one of the tractors, reversing it towards a mower. Once he was close enough to the mower, he stopped the tractor and pulled the mower towards the rear of the tractor and hitched the tow bar and crank connection rod of the reciprocating-blade mower to the tractor. The reciprocating knife assembly consists of a knife bar containing 20 large sharp serrated edge triangular blades which slide rapidly to and fro in a horizontal fashion. The knife bar looked like the teeth and jaws of giant prehistoric shark. Fixed onto the cutter bar which was 1.25 m long were the ledger plates with "fingers" which form the stationery half of the scissors, with the blade being the moving part.

Max and his partners had purchased Brandkraal lock stock and barrel which among everything else also included three old Corbitt D-50 diesel tractors that had been manufactured in 1949. According to the farm's asset register the three tractors had arrived brand-new at Brandkraal in 1950. They were delivered from Durban harbour by rail to Glenroy railway station in Rooikraal and were then driven from the station to Brandkraal.

They bought the farm from the diseased estate of Mr Jacque du Toit, a descent of the first owners of Brandkraal. It was only called Brandkraal after the death of his great grandfather, Mr Lodewyk du Toit, the eldest son of Gerard du Toit. Gerard du Toit who bought the original farm from the capital that they had managed to accumulate. He settled on the farm with his wife in 1881. It had been a family farm ever since. Gerard du Toit as an adolescent boy accompanied his father and mother who were among the first members of the earliest intrepid Boer vanguard of hunter- pastoralists to migrate into the vast depopulated Highveld grasslands between the Orange and Vaal Rivers. In the wake of the violent and devastating Mfecane storm that had engulfed the entire region during the 1820s, an eerie silence reigned over the vacated grassland plains that stretched in every direction towards the horizons for as far as the eye could see on a clear day. For nearly 2000 years before the mysterious visitation of the destructive chaos of the Difaqane the Sotho and other allied Bantu communities had occupied the Highveld with their extensive herds of cattle as shifting pastoralists, sharing the extensive ocean of grasslands with the equally extensive herds of game.

41

In 1860s in Gerard du Toit accumulated his first fortune from the sale of game hides. As one of the many hunters he participated in the devastating, indiscriminate decimation of the once incredibly vast herds of Springbok, Blesbok, Red Hartebeest and Black Wildebeest that thrived for thousands of years on the plains of the Highveld steppes. He invested his capital into oxen and wagons which he used to transport goods to the diamond fields in the 1870s. He used his capital to become one of the largest landowners in the Rooikraal agricultural district lying between Boksburg and Heidelberg. In the 1880s the majority of Boers in the Orange Free State and Transvaal Boer Republics were landless bywoners (tenet farmers). Gradually during the 1890s more and more of the landless Boers became increasingly marginalized and impoverished. Following the great drought and the rinderpest epidemic the dispossessed and landless Boer drifted to the towns. With the increasing proletarianization of the majority of landless Boers, Boer society became increasing differentiated on the basis of Class. Land speculation resulted in the accumulation of more and more land into the hands of a minority of powerful Boer and English absentee landowners during the final decade of the 19th century.

Lodewyk du Toit the eldest son of Gerard du Toit took of over the running of his father's farm. As an astute businessman Lodewyk du Toit derived a large proportion of the farm revenues from the landless Boers and Natives that he allowed to settle on his land as sharecroppers. On the eve of the Boer War, Gerard du Toit passed away and Lodewyk inherited the farm. With the outbreak of the Boer War many of the Boer bywoners who had been trying to eke out a living as landless tenet farmers joined the British forces and fought against the mainly land owning Boer forces.

In 1901 Mr Lodewyk du Toit was killed by a patrol of British soldiers comprised of bywoner Boers in British army uniform under the command of an English speaking British Lieutenant and Sergeant. A bywoner Boer intelligent-informer network soon learnt that Lodewyk had secretly returned to his farm and was hiding on the farm. He was one of the last landowning bitte einde Boer guerillas. On the day that he was killed it was a cloudless hot November day.

The soldiers had taken up positions behind the stone walls of the kraal and under the cover of rocky outcrops. One of the bywoners crouching behind the stone walls of the kraaled shouted:

"Lodewyk ons weet jy skuil in die huis. Ons vra jou om jou wapen neer to lê and jouself op te gee." (Lodewyl we know that you are hiding in home. We call on your to lay your weapon down and surrounder)

He answered the call for him to surrender by firing a volley at the voice behind the kraal wall.

After being wounded several times following a long, desperate and fierce fire fight with the British patrol he eventually surrendered. He collapsed on the front veranda, where he lay dying, riddled with bullet wounds. On that day a terrible atrocity took place, while he was still alive the bywoners dragged him by his legs as lay on his back to a burial spot in the veld close to the house. He lay on his back dying under a blazing Highveld sun as they dug a shallow grave. While they struggled to excavate a hollow in the unyielding rock-hard stony substrate his blood seeped into the hot dry ground. On that Lodewyk du Toit died at the hands of his compatriots whose choice was to see things differently from the vantage point of the landowners.

On that fateful and tragic November day in 1901, in spite of the ground being so hard and bone dry, perennial wild flowers, woken by the late spring rains, blossomed and bloomed in the veld surrounding the homestead. Usually at that time of the year especially after the spring rains the veld became transformed into a colourful patchwork of white, yellow, orange, red, purple, blue and purple-blue flowers. Apart from the local farmers very few people were aware of the rich diversity of flowering perennials that formed an integral part of the grassy floral community of the Highveld grasslands. After good spring rains virgin grasslands undisturbed by the blades of ploughs would become covered in a carpet of dazzling colour.

The palette of colours splashed across grassland included dashes of white, silver, yellow of all shades, reds, blues, violets, pinks and orange. White flowers from the Botterblom (Gazania kerbsiana), silver metallic white flowers from Kafferdissel (Dicoma zeyheri), the white domed cushions of the Bitterbos ( Scabiose columbaria), the yellow floral umbels of the Wildepietersielie (Peucedanum magalismontanum), clumps of bright yellow flowers of the Sybossie ( Senecio harveanus), dense straw yellow clusters of flower held high at the ends of the long stems of the Taaisewejaartjie and the Vaalteebossie ( Helichrysum acutatum and Helichrysum coriaceum), the yellow pom-pom flowers on the grey leafed stems of the Bergkruie (Schistostephium crataegifollum).

While the British soldiers and Boer bywoner traitors sweated and toiled with the digging of the grave in the heat of the afternoon sun the bees and butterflies went about their usual business, as is if nothing unusual had happened. Bees buzzed and butterflies flittered from one flower to the next. The t-phueet-t-phueet-t-phueet and ker-bek-ker-krrrrr calls of guinea fowls started to drift across the veld.

Before the buried body of Lodewyk had grown cold and lifeless under the clods, stones and sods of soil, the soldiers started to ransack the farm house. On the old stinkwood sideboard of the dining room stood a dried out flower arrangement in a cut crystal vase. On the old stinkwood table lay an opened Bible. The mud and dung floor was covered with the empty cartridge casings. Every wall in every room was pock marked with bullet holes and craters. Every window pane was shattered.

A few days before the internment of Mrs du Toit with her brood of two daughters and four sons, she had made a magnificent wild flower arrangement on the sideboard from the flowers she and her daughters had plucked from the surrounding veld. The wild floral perfume and spicy herby fragrance filled the house. His wife, both daughters and two young sons died during the winter of 1901 in a concentration camp. He had lost contact with his two surviving sons who were been cared for by relatives.

After ransacking of the farm house they shot all the cattle and sheep, killed all the chickens, destroyed the stone walled kraal, pulled down the wind water-pump, and smashed rocks down the borehole. Finally just before sunset the soldiers torched the homestead. That night the blazing homestead was visible for miles. After this incident the farm became known as Brandkraal (Burning Corral). This is the saga of the Brandkraal story that has been retold countless times.

In the end it became a tale of betrayal, with very few embellishments. The story was based on the accounts of different eye witnesses, two of which were the black farm labourers and the rest of the details were filled in over time by the soldiers who visited the farm on that fateful day. All the facts have been collaborated. But there were some unanswered questions. Such as why was the farm house not burnt down after the internment of Mrs du Toit and her children? Why did the British not exterminate all the livestock after the banishment of the du Toit family to the concentration camps?

According to the original story that was told by the ousie (black woman who works as a maid) who worked for the du Toits, the British decided not to burn the house down or kill the livestock because of a terminally ill old woman, who happened to be the mother of Mr Lodewyk du Toit. She was bed ridden and in extreme pain. She was apparently dying of cancer and did not have long to live. She was in no condition to be moved. A soldier was dispatched to get orders from the most senior ranking officer in command over this specific sector of the theatre of war against the Boer commandos. He returned with orders that they should leave the old woman in the house to die and they were also ordered not to kill in any livestock. Once the woman had died they would then return to burn down the homestead and kill the livestock. The ousie was told to take care of the farm and the old lady until she died. The ousie and her husband stayed on at the farm taking care of the dying women, as well as looking after the homestead and the livestock. When the old lady died they buried her in a grave near the house. They stayed on looking after the farm.

After a series of Boer setbacks in the war against the British an exhausted and demoralized Lodewyk du Toit returned to his farm. A British patrol was tipped off that Lodewyk had returned to his farm. The ousie alerted Lodewyk that a mounted British patrol was on the way to the farm. She and husband then fled the homestead and hide in a dense stand of high grass on a slight knoll nearby. From their hiding position they could observe the homestead without being seen by the British soldiers. They witnessed the shoot out and Lodewyk's buriel. They heard his cries of agony as he was laid still living in the shallow grave and covered with soil.

After the Boer War the body of Lodewyk du Toit was disinterred, the grave was dug deeper and he was given a proper burial in the same grave. A large granite tombstone was erected on the grave site. A second tombstone was erected by the grandmother's grave. It is still standing in the veld. A barb wire fence was spanned around area of veld of about 10 ha that surrounded the tombstones, the ruins of the farm house and the kraal. On the knoll there are also two tombstones standing next two each other, one by the ousie and one by her husband's grave. The fence was still in place and only cattle or sheep are grazed there now and then in the fence enclosed area. The original homestead ruins, the graves and the surrounding veld have been preserved as a sacred site in memory of Lodewyk du Toit.

When the two teenage du Toit boys returned to the farm after the Boer war, the ousie and her husband assisted them in rebuilding the farm. The ousie and her husband were given a patch of land for their own cattle and crops. They stayed on the farm until they died. While they were still alive, whenever family visited the farm the children and teenagers of the du Toit clan would inevitably visit the modest red mud dwelling of the ousie and her husband. They would all sit on boulders under the large fig tree by the stone kraal which her husband had built near their mud house, and in Afrikaans the ousie would tell them the story over and over again of want happened in 1901. The children would ask many questions about the Boer War for freedom and she would always have an answer. The pair lived out their last years peacefully sitting under the fig tree by the kraal staring across the veld. Brandkraal was the only home they ever knew.

After the war many bywoners hoped that the new British colonial administration would improve their lot. The colonial authorities were very mindful of the need to address the plight of the bywoners. However, the British appointed repatriation commissioners, who turned out to be the original Boer landowners who had suffered losses in the war, and whose mandate was distribute seed and plough oxen equitably to all Boers who were in need, favoured only those who were already members of the charmed circle of landowners. Boer sharecroppers and tenet farmers received nothing. After the Boer War the majority of indigent whites who were Boer bywoners were driven off the land without any form of compensation, forced to migrate to the towns and cities. Boer landowners preferred black sharecroppers over white ones. This was mainly because poor whites seemed to be less inclined to do what was referred to as native work and thus blacks were viewed by the landowners as more profitable on the farms than whites. Inevitably the Boer members of the agrarian ruling class tended to view the dissolute Boer bywoners as extraordinarily lazy, unlike their European ancestors on the farms in Europe, they were extremely reluctant to engage in manual toil as a share croppers or farm workers for the landed bourgeoisie.

However, it seems on closer reflection that the poor whites like their impoverished black counter parts where not by nature unwilling to work as manual labourers, but rather they were unwilling to toil for the small remuneration rates that were being offered by the agrarian and industrial ruling classes.

42

Aaron gazed up at the blue sky. Lifted up by the upward thrust of the raising convective columns of warm air a huge flock of whites storks soared overhead high against the deep blue Easter sky. Supported by the thermals the storks glided slowly above the cut lucerne fields in wide circles for hours without flapping a wing. Over the past few days the farm workers had been cutting, racking, stacking and bailing lucerne. The storks were drawn to the freshly cut fields. As soon as the mowers were moved to the next field they made their long spiral descent to feed on the crickets, caterpillars and grass hoppers that had become exposed on the freshly cut fields. The storks were joined on the ground by flocks of white cattle egrets that run after the exposed insects scurrying in great numbers over the bare ground where the cut Lucerne had been racked. Swifts and swallows swooped low of the fields intercepting any flying insect attempting a desperate aerial escape from the steadily advancing army of storks and egrets. In evening bat flittered low over the cut fields.

At the farm house that took ten years, from 1901 to 1911, for the two surviving du Toit sons to build, Geraldine sat at the kitchen table working on her Unisa assignments. The party line telephone shared by all the neighbouring farms kept on ringing, interrupting her studies. The phone was in the lounge. Now it was ringing incessantly, two long rings and one short ring. A frown creased her brow. She began to feel perturbed. She began to feel convinced it was the ring tone for house in which they were staying. She got up, walked into the lounge and gingerly lifted the receiver and put it to her ear.

She heard a voice; it had a tone of urgency.

"Hello, hello, hello, ek wil met Aaron praat." (Hello, I want to speak with Aaron)

"Aaron is in die lande," she answered softly. (Aaron is on the lands)

And then came the message that shocked her and turned her heart icy cold:

"Die polisie is op pad Brandkraal toe, jy moet Aaron nou dadelik gaan waarsku, hulle gaan all die swartes wie se pasboeke was nie in orde nie arresteer, en Brandkraal gaan 'n boete betaal. Die Brandkraal swartes moet nou dadelik in die riete by die rivier gaan weg kryp, hoer jy vir my my kind. My kind jy moet Aaron waarsku, hardloop nou."

(The police are on their way to Brandkraal, you must urgently warn Aaron they are coming to arrest all farm labourers who are not in possession of a valid ID books and passes, and Brandekraal will be liable to pay a heavy fine for illegal employment of black labour. Your black farm labourers must go hide immediately in reeds by the river. Do you hear me my child, my child you must warn Aaron, go now quickly)

It was a middle aged female voice. Geraldine put the receiver down. She moved the lace curtains and peered through the lounge window in the distance she could see clouds of red dust. It was the police van; it had already passed through the farm gate and was driving to the main farm buildings. She thought it most likely make its next stop at the old farm house.

Her eyes became wild with panic. Should she hide? Where could she hide? She run to her room and looked around. In a corner next to the window she spotted the large cardboard box filled with old cloths. With trembling hands she began to throw out the dresses onto the bed. None seemed to be her size. At the bottom of the box she pulled out a dress and it looked like it was here size. She grabbed the white and red floral dress, and put it on over her clothes. Made from crimplene it was the most hideous dress that she had ever worn. Then she sprung to thr cupboard, flung the doors open and took the overall off its hanger and put it on over the dress. Sorting through box frantically she looked for material that she could use to make a doek to cover her hair. In the end she tore up a dress into strips and standing before the mirror she covered her hair wrapping the strip of material into a tight doek around her head. She took her ID reference book from her bag and put it in the overall pocket.

She packed all the old clothes back in the box, put her alarm clock in the draw of the side table next, hide her personal effects in a draw in the cupboard, and then stashed her suitcase in the cupboard out of sight. She glanced quickly around the room, straightened the bed covers. Before leaving the room she examined herself in the mirror. Satisfied that she looked like an ousie (black domestic servant) she dashed back to the kitchen.

Gathering up her Unisa books and papers from the table she stored them away in one of the empty kitchen draws. Next, she then started removing cutlery and crockery from drawers and cupboards, placing them all into the kitchen sink. After turning on the sink taps she looked around the kitchen. She spotted a mop and bucket. She filled the bucket with cold water and started to mop the floor. She noticed that her hands were trembling. She realized the sink was almost overflowing with water, she quickly turned the taps off and mixed in some detergent, stirring the hot water with a large spoon until a foam formed. She continued mopping, stopping every few moments, inclining her head slightly, her face tense with concentration, she listened carefully to see if she could hear the sounds of a vehicle approaching the farm house. Her whole body was now shaking with fright. She imaged that the police would guess than she and Aaron were in a relationship and they would be detained for questioning.

Hearing nothing, she stopped mopping and walked hastily into the lounge. Drawing back the curtains she could see in the distance a tractor and mower in a field of Lucerne. Aaron was still mowing the lucerne. He was oblivious of the police raid on the farm. She turned her head so that she could see the farm buildings in the distance up the road from the old farmhouse. Her heart skipped a beat as the police van reappeared from behind the farm building and turned into the sand road and started to speed towards the old farm. She ran back to the kitchen and began to vigorously mop the floor in an uncontrollable nervous displacement reaction. In her panic she kicked over the bucket of water flooding the Marley tiled floor with water.

The police van stopped at the front veranda. She heard the van doors open and slam shut. They began to knock on the front door. Geraldine put the mop back into the bucket leaning the handle against the table so it would not fall over. She covered her face with her hands and stood frozen, hoping they would go away, but they continued to knock even louder.

Her mind raced. What was she going to do? She was trapped in the house. She was trapped, as an extremely attractive black woman sharing the house with her boyfriend, a white male. She was becoming convinced that they were going to find out the truth about her. Some signal would tell them that she was hiding something from them. Somewhere there lurked a tell-tale sign that would give her and Aaron away. Policemen had an uncanny talent for spotting such things. They had eagle sharp eyes and could see things, all kinds of things. They could read the facial expressions of people like a book. They could smell guilt. They could hear guilt in one's voice. There could see the imprint of guilt write large in everything. They could see things that she was not even aware of.

It seemed that her worst nightmare was about to become true. If they started asking her questions they would certainly catch her out. They would be able to see that she was lying. Her heart began to race. What if they actually did become suspicious and started asking her all kinds of probing and tricky questions? What if they searched the house and found her belongings in the room? Then she remembered that her toilet bag was still in the bathroom. She went ice cold. She began to pray while they continued to knock on the front door.

"Dear Lord please have mercy on us and save us from disaster."

While praying with her eyes tightly closed and her lips moving in a desperate quivering whisper, a loud knock on the kitchen door startled her, making her heart skip a beat. A head pressed against the window pane peered into the kitchen. He saw her standing in the kitchen. She was left with no option but to open the kitchen door. She opened the door without saying a word. She stepped back from the door, to the empty bucket; she took hold of the mop's handle, clenching it tightly with both hands. They walked into the kitchen looking around, stepping cautiously so as to avoid walking into the spreading puddle of water on the floor.

"Waar is al die mense, waar is die baas?" said the first policeman looking her up and down. (Where is everyone, where is the boss?)

"Die baas, hy is besig in die lande," she answered.

(The boss is busy in the lands)

"Werk jy hier?" the first policeman asked her.

(Do you work here?)

She began to feel a calmness growing within her, her hand had stopped trembling, in her mind she said, 'thank you Lord'.

"Ja ek werk hier," she answered softy, with an air of dignity.

(Yes I work her)

'Waar is jou dompas?" he asked.

(Where is your pass?)

Putting her hand into the overall pocket, she took out her ID reference book and gave it to him, making a slight curtsy. He noticed the gesture of respect. He opened the book. She watched his face as he examined her ID photo. After studying the ID reference book for a few seconds a look of surprise came over his face.

"So ragtig, sy is a kleurling meid, a fokken hotnot. Ek het regtig gedog sy was 'n Bantu meid (black domestic maid)," he chuckled to the second policeman.

(I don't believe it, she is a Coloured maid, a fucken hottentot, I really thought she was black native maid.)

"Laat ek sien," he said with a look of expectant curiosity on this face while stretching out his hand.

(Let me see)

He passed the ID book to the second policeman.

"Bly jy op die plaas?" The first policeman asked.

(Do you stay on the farm)

"Ja, ek bly op die plaas, ek is die ousie," she said.

(Yes, I stay on the farm, I am the domestic servant)

After examining the ID second policeman stepped over to her and handed back her ID. He caught a whiff of the fragrance of her perfume.

A very pretty and perfumed Coloured house maid on a farm in the Rooikraal district seemed to be just another puzzling human anomaly that had washed up onto the shores of the sprawling Pretoria-Witwatersrand-Vereeniging industrial complex. Instead of serving and protecting the citizens, the two policemen standing in the kitchen before Geraldine, were part of an army of policemen that had been redeployed to fight a losing battle against the internal migration of tens of thousands of Natives into the urban centres. It was becoming impossible to hold back the seemingly unstoppable tidal wave of migratory job-seekers invading the urban, peri-urban and outlying rural districts of the East Rand. Influx control was like trying to spit against the Victoria Falls in Rhodesia.

Proletarianization of hundreds of thousands of Natives had forced them to join the never ending forlorn queues standing outside the various local Native Affairs Departments and Black Labour Bureaus on the East Rand. Desperate workers drowning in poverty waited for hours for officials to sign and stamp their passes, and issue them with pink or blue or white permits which gave them authorization to reside and work, but only temporarily, within the boundaries of the respective municipal districts. Because they were temporary labourers, they had to come every month to the nearest Native Affairs Office to renew their permits and pay the 20 cents permit renewal fee.

While the police stood knocking on the front door of the house in which Aaron and Geraldine were staying, Daniel came running over to Aaron from the main farm buildings, alerting him that a police raid on Brandkraal was underway in search for labourers whose passes where not in order.

From the tractor he could see a police van parked outside the old farm house. He immediately switched the tractor engine off, jumped off the tractor and sprinted to the farm house. He entered the house through the front door, and on hearing voices in the kitchen he burst into the kitchen.

The police had their backs turned toward him. They had not heard him entering the house. Unlike Geraldine, Aaron was not in a state of panic or fear, instead he was filled with anger bordering on rage. His sudden entrance into the question caught them off guard. The spectacle in the kitchen caught him by complete surprise. But in an instant, he instantly sized up the situation and apprehended what was going on. He realized that Geraldine had had the presence of mind to disguise herself as a maid.

"What's going on here, what do you want?" he asked assertively walking into the kitchen.

The policemen turned round to face Aaron,

"Is sy jou meid, werk sy vir jou?" The policeman asked.

(Is she your maid, does she work for you?)

"Yes she is employed by Brandkraal as a general housekeeper," he answered curtly with an impatient and irritable edge to his voice. The words 'is sy jou meid' galled him intensely. His face darkened with anger. His fury was plainly visible to the police. What was invisible was his extreme and consuming displeasure boiling from an infliction of injury deep in his being as a person. Not that they knew the reason for his sudden very visible display of extreme annoyance.

What was also infuriating him was that presence of the police had disrupted the orderly progress of work that had been planned for the day. He noticed that four Brandkraal workers, Pretrus, Moenie Sukkel Nie, Miriam and Elizabeth, were locked up in the back of the police van.

The policemen could see that Aaron was displeased with their presence on the farm.

Geraldine smiled behind the backs of the two policemen when she heard Aaron's answer and the tone of his voice. She whispered again to herself, 'Thank you dear Lord.' They were out of danger. She felt safe now that Aaron had arrived onto the scene.

"Is jy die plaas bestuurder?" the first policeman asked.

(Are you the farm manager?)

"Nee, die plaas bestuurder is weg op vakansie, my pa Maximillian Finnegan is een van die Brandkraal vennote," Aaron answered.

"Why have you detained four of our workers? How are we supposed to run a farm if you arrest our workers? We are already struggling to run our business with the severe labour shortages that we are experiencing. Everyone in the district is suffering from a shortage of labour. How are we supposed to farm if the police are always raiding our farms and arresting our workers? It is madness, it makes no sense," Aaron spoke with a tone of irritated exasperation in his voice, challenging the wisdom of their actions.

"Hulle passe was nie in order nie. Hulle sal 'n boete moet betaal," the first policeman said.

"That is all very well for you to say, but do you have any idea of how much livestock we have on this farm, you putting our enterprise in jeopardy," Aaron said.

Both of the policemen did not expect to be at the receiving end of such a sharp tirade, especially in front of Geraldine, they were beginning to show signs of resentment towards Aaron. Hot and sweaty, wearing a bush hat, khaki shirt, khaki pants and heavy mine boots, he occupied the kitchen with his presence, standing before them full of arrogance and disdain. The expression of arrogance and disdain towards officialdom was an attitude that he had learned from Max, from Mr Whitehead and Mr Noble. He had learned from the example of these men to be critical of authority in South Africa. He had talked down to them, showing them no respect, but he was also alert and knew that it was time to cease with the offensive, and let out a sigh of resignation. He had skilfully outmanoeuvred them, with his tactical retreat. The verbal blows had been struck; he had abused them in front of a black woman.

"Die wet is wet. You know it an offence to obstruct the law," the second policeman said.

"I know, and that is why I have no intention of obstructing the course of the law or your police work. Our lawyers with sort out this matter and the four workers will be back on the farm in a few days," he said.

While all this was going on Geraldine had turned her back, pretending to be busy washing the dishes. All the time she had an amused smile on her face.

Later that afternoon Geraldine spotted Aaron through the lounge window as he returned from the fields, whistling down the road, carrying a large paper bag filled with groceries. She burst out laughing at the sight and the sound.

When she opened the front door to let him in she was still dressed in the maid's outfit. He laughed.

"Do think it is safe for me to go back to my real identity?" she said also laughing.

"Did I not once tell you that I am a human chameleon," she said, "I even had the police fooled. It was only when they saw my ID did they realize I was Coloured."

"I had a very big skrik (fright) today, do you think it is safe for me to spend two more nights here?" She said.

"Yes, it be will OK."

"Do you really think so?"

"It will be OK, there is not going to repeat of this tomorrow or Monday."

43

It was September 1969. Aaron had completed his diploma in higher education. He was now coming to the end of his studies for his BSc Honours degree in Zoology. Geraldine had completed her BA degree and was doing a diploma in education through Unisa. It was a dark night. It was also a very warm night, an unseasonably warm for September. Geraldine was standing in the shadows under a tree in front of the Masonic Hall. She had parked her car outside the Transvaal Hotel.

Every Friday and Saturday night they met like this. Just to be together as a couple, they would then drive randomly through the East Rand, not too worried about getting to any particular destination. Blanketed in an ocean of darkness the sprawling East Rand seemed to reflect the entire Milky Way in a seemly endless swarm of flickering, shimmering, blinking and twinkling lights.

They had already spent many endless nights driving through the dark empty streets that criss-crossed the Central and East Rand. They drove through the central business districts of Boksburg, Germiston, Benoni, Brakpan, Springs, and Nigel. At street corners robots flashed green, amber and red throughout the night. Along abandoned sidewalks shop windows decorated in glittering displays glowed brightly. Except around the odd cinema all East Rand towns became eerily dead at night. Leaving the shopping centres behind they followed the roads, avenues and streets that dissected the suburbs. Usually they drove until they found some dark remote park or lake or dam.

Parked under trees they listened to LM on the car radio. They had made nocturnal visits to every accessible lake and dam. They had stopped and parked at Boksburg Lake, Florida Lake, Germiston Lake, Wemmer Pan, Brakpan Dam, and Benoni Dam. Hidden from sight in the dark interior of the car they talked, they laughed, they smooched, they hugged, they joked, and they also spoke about serious things.

Other times they sang the lyrics of their favourite hits when they came on air. When Manfred Mann's Pretty Flamingo came on they sang along. And when The Monkees came on with I am believer they sang along.

Sometimes after singing the lyric of a popular hit that had just played on the radio they would lapse into a pensive silent mood. Their eyes accustomed to the dark, always watchful, their senses always alert, they would glance at each other without saying anything. They were so close to each other that they could read every emotion in each other's eyes.

Occasionally there would be sudden flicker of angst in Geraldine's face and he would feel the angst in his own eyes. She would confess: "I love you so much, I pray to God to constantly..." She never finished her sentence. She lapsed into a poignant silence. She wanted to say: 'What is going to happen to us.'

After a while something in a lyric playing on the radio would lift their moods, LM radio always came to their salvation, and they would think of doing something truly outrageous and daring, like going to a drive-in or ordering hamburgers and chips at some roadhouse.

They would thumb their noses at the Whites Only signs. Aaron would mutter that the Government could stick its segregation signs up its arse. They sometimes sneaked into the second show of far flung drive-ins on the East Rand. Geraldine would lie on the back seat pretending to be asleep with her face hidden in the dark against the seat.

It was almost 9.00 pm; they parked under a tree near the Springs Golf Course. Tired of listening to LM radio Geraldine began to search for other radio stations. She managed to tune into the Voice of America. They listened to a programme on Wilson Pickett. He was being interviewed. They played 'In the Midnight Hour' and '634-5789'. Aaron instantly became a fan of Wilson Pickett. After the programme with Wilson Pickett she tuned into some other radio station and they listened to a programme called the Music of the Americas.

She had been a bit distracted and preoccupied the whole evening. She began to look worried. She put her hand on her chin and stared out at the golf course veiled in darkness. Silhouetted against the stars she could make out the black shapes of the tall fir and gum trees lining the fairways.

She began to speak.

"I have used up all my leave. I need to take another 3 weeks leave for my final three weeks of teaching practical assessments. Apart from the exams coming up this is the only credit I need for my teaching diploma. I don't know what I am going to do. I have to take 3 weeks leave. It will have to be unpaid leave. I have not yet told Mr Bogoraz that I need take more leave. I am dreading having to do this. I may have to resign my job. But I can't stop working, I need to pay rent, I need petrol money, I need to have the car serviced. I don't know what I am going to do."

"I can lend you money. I will service your car. I will get the parts and oil. You can bring the car to Brandkraal on Sunday afternoon."

"No I can't let you do that."

"Of course you can."

"I am also worried about the school I have to go to."

"At which school are you doing the teaching practical?"

She pulled a face: "It's at Coronationville Primary School again."

"You had a rough time there before."

"Yes, it was terrible. It was such a bad experience. I became convinced that studying to become a teacher was the worst decision I could have ever made for my life."

"What actually happened?"

"My first practical teaching experience assessment was a disaster. I failed it. I felt so demoralized. The person who did the assessment gave me such a bad report. I had not been given a chance to give a lesson before the assessment, so I had no opportunity to really practice. The teacher to whom I had been assigned kept on saying that she would let me do something the next morning, but when the next day came there was always another excuse. I just sat in her classroom doing nothing. So I had very little personal practical exposure to actual teaching before my first teaching assessment. I was literally thrown in at the deep end. No education theory, no reading, no assignment, no education philosophy could have prepared me for the riot that took place."

"How did you manage in the end?"

"In the first assessment report she said that I wasn't teaching. I was just lecturing. She felt that I had not mastered the subject matter of the lesson. I was not engaging them enough. I was not making an effort to get them to participate in the lesson. I was not asking them questions. I could not keep their attention. They spoke among themselves. They began to make stupid jokes and remarks."

"What happened after that, what you did do?"

"Well I was utterly devastated, I wanted to give up. I also had this perpetual stress headache which did not go away. I was feeling burnt out," she said.

"When preparing the lesson for my next assessment I had a brain wave. It was supposed to be a lesson on long division. I gave each of the pupils in the class a number corresponding to their desk positions in the class. At home I subdivided the inside of shoe box into two compartments. I put the desk numbers of the whole class in one compartment and then I made a second set of numbers corresponding to the desks number of all the Smart Alecs. These numbers I put in the other compartment. After I had explained the principles of long division and worked out an example for them on the board, I then explained to them that I was going to test their understanding of long division. The way that I was going to do this was to draw randomly a desk number from the box and that person would then come up and solve the long division problem on the board. If that person could not solve the problem then the class would assist that person."

"How did it go?"

"It worked like a bomb. The class ended up teaching all the Smart Alecs and ring leaders how to do long division. They became very docile after that. They learnt two lessons, first they learnt that they were not so smart and second they learnt how to do long division."

"How did the assessment go?"

"It went very well. I received good marks for the assessment. And the class enjoyed the lesson."

She became silent again. Turning her head she stared out of the window into the dark.

"What's the matter?"

"I yearn for a normal life with you. This whole racial thing in South Africa is really getting me down."

Aaron was also tired of the double life. But what could he say? There was not much they could do about it right now.

She turned and looked at him: "I think the time has come to tell our parents about our plans."
"No not yet. We got to wait rather until the end of exams. We have to hold out for a few more months. The time is not yet right."

They sat in silence listening to the music of the Americas.

"What do think about Feuerbach and Nietzsche," Aaron asked out of the blue.

"Well, what would you like know?"

"What did they say about God?" He asked.

"Nietzsche said that God was dead and Feuerbach said that we invented God."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes really!" She said, laughing, feeling her mood suddenly lifting.

"In his book 'The Gay Science' he composed quite a dramatic parable about the death of God."

"What kind of parable?"

"A parable about a mad man carrying a lighted lantern in broad daylight who sort of comes charging quite abruptly on a bright and sunny morning into a crowded market place. He shouts all the time 'I want to see God' or 'I seek God'. Anyway I don't think there is any difference between 'seeking' and 'seeing'. If you seeking God in the way the mad man was in broad day light with a lighted lantern then you can assume that he wants to see God, why else the lighted lantern in broad daylight?"

"What happened next?"

"The mad man in state of great agitation jumps around in the market place. He asks everyone 'where is God?' No one can answer him. He then answers his own question by saying 'I tell you what, we have killed him, you and I. We are murderers, all of us. But how did we murder God.' He then asks. Again nobody can answer him. He goes on asking a whole lot of questions. 'Has it not got colder?' 'Is not the night closing in on us?' 'Do we not need to light lanterns in the morning?'"

She looked at Aaron, to see he response, and then she said:

"That's all I can remember."

"Have you ever read Nietzsche?" She asked.

"No," he answered.

"You not missing anything. He jumps all over the place. It is impossible to make any sense of his writing. He hated Plato."

"How can anyone hate Plato? To hate Plato you got to hate Socrates. How can anyone possibly hate Socrates?"

She laughed.

"I think Nietzsche did. But I may be wrong," she replied, "but Nietzsche even though he never really substantiated any of his claims, still managed to said quite a lot of remarkable things, which have provoked considerable thought and reflection."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Well for example, in the his book The Twilight of the Idols Nietzsche appears to be expressing a truth in jest, but nevertheless a very profound truth, when he states 'I fear we are not getting rid of God because we believe in Grammar', " she said.

Her face lit up, as if a light bulb had gone on in her head. Aaron smiled as he witnessed the birth of a sudden insight in the expression on her face.

"What I think is that Nietzsche in saying this he has ironically but also quiet inadvertently proposed that God is present in a profound way in language. Thus all the conditions which make it possible for language to perform one of its main functions which is the communication of meaning and sentiment rests ultimately on the existence of God, and His existence manifests its presence in the Grammar of language. His presence thereby guarantees the possibility for language to express meaning. God's presence makes it possible for the Universe in the form of man to publically express its consciousness awareness or what is going on in his mind through the medium of language. This is what enables man to be the imago dei, the image of the living God." This is what she concluded.

"In the first chapter of Genesis God speaks, and through speech he brings the Universe into existence by saying 'let there be'. Man himself through language also can also become the agent of creative acts, of letting things be. Without the medium of language, without Grammar, and without speech, none of man's creations would have been possible. It is through language and speech that man creates his World," she continued enthusiastically.

"God's presence in Grammar is the bulwark, the fortification which empowers language to becomes the condition of possibility for the emergence of meaning in the Universe. Even Bertrand Russell admits that words must have a meaning. He argues that the meaning of object-words is fundamental to the meaning of empirical knowledge, he argues further that it through object-words that language is connected with non-linguistic occurrences in the way that make it capable of expressing empirical truth or falsehood. In Genesis chapter 2 God brings all the animals to Adam to see what name he would call each living creature, and whatever man called each living creature that was its name. This represents an amazing theological of vindication of the power of language, of speech, of Grammar, of words. It is theological vindication of the God's empowerment of man to speak, to communicate using a language with words, and eventually, it is a theological vindication of writing after man invented the alphabet and writing. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. And then, the Word became flesh. The Logos is meaningful; the Word is meaningful because it is underwritten by the presence of God. The meaningfulness of language can be wagered on the real presence of God in Grammar, this is Nietzsche's snare, which he set unwittingly as a trap for himself," she looked at Aaron with a satisfied smile on her face.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he digested what she had said. Of course Aaron accepted and believed in what she had said. Her intellect sparkled like diamonds.

She stopped speaking, she could was interested in what his response was going to be. He had a very thoughtful expression his face, he finally expressed his response.

"I agree entirely with everything you have said. But I want to take it one step further. Language is not only comprised of words. It also includes the symbolic systems embedded in mathematics and physics. It also includes the metric or measurements of the Universe. Language is quantitative and qualitative. In this more comprehensive understanding of language, language does in deed correspond directly to things in the Universe, as you have said with regard to Bertrand Russell's idea of word-objects. I agree that this idea is consistent with the theological and philosophical meaning of the story about Adam naming the animals in the Garden of Eden. Man as God's image bearer becomes very apparent when man exercises his imago dei agency in the realm of science. Take for example, the symbols in Dirac's famous equation which in reality corresponded directly to invisible things that actually existed. The independent discovery of the neutrino showed this. Because of the real presence of God in words the apparent radical disjunction between words and things that followed the catastrophe of Babel can be cured when we believe in Grammar, when we experience the presence of God in language," he said.

"Oh, I like that, 'the radical disjunction between words and objects that followed the catastrophe of Babel,' " she said.

"Remember when Father mentioned the philosopher Michael Polanyi?" Geraldine asked.

"Oh yes, I was surprised."

"His book Personal Knowledge is quite an important book. One of things he also addresses is language. Like you have just said, he depicts language in terms of a symbolic system that is far more comprehensive than has been appreciated by most philosophers who have thought seriously about language," she said.

"In this whole business involving the wager that the meaning of language depends on the real presence of God in Grammar, does the wager imply an exercise of faith? What I actually mean is that does a belief in the competency of Grammar with respect to the possibility of expressing meaningful statements involve an unfounded exercise in faith or even an inadvertent belief in God?" he asked

"It depends on what you mean by faith or having faith, and what you mean by exercising faith. Like belief, faith itself must have grounds, faith is also a form of true belief, which means having knowledge of what makes a belief a true or well-founded or warranted," she replied.

"What is it to belief and have faith without grounds or justification or knowledge?' he asked.

"It is to be a fideist," she replied.

"Are Christians condemned to being fideists, to believe and have faith without reason?" he asked

"No. As a Catholic, I cannot be a fideist. I do not hold to any kind of fideism that completely rejects reason and relies exclusively on faith alone when it comes to the relationship between words and things, for example. Reason and faith are not opposed, but work together. God is the God of Reason. This we know as Catholics. Athens has everything to do with Jerusalem. I am sure you will agree with this. You would be surprised to learn that even Wittgenstein was a fideist when it came to the correspondence between words and things," she said, quite emphatically.

"All of this is actually quite remarkable. The Universe is comprehensible. This seems to be an unfathomable mystery. But the Universe is comprehensible because of your idea that language is a comprehensive symbolic system in which it can be shown that words do indeed correspond to real things. If this were not so then the Universe could never be comprehended and everything would appear completely irrational. I think metaphysical rebellion springs from the denial of the rationality of the Universe," Aaron remarked.

"Yes, man's metaphysically rebellion begins with denying the connection between words and real things that have an independent existence. Metaphysical rebellion begins with the decision to descent without any rational reason into abyss of linguistic meaninglessness," she said.

"I take it that when you say words can be shown to correspond to things, you mean ostensive definition," Geraldine asked.

"Yes, that is precisely what I mean. I believe that the meaning of words is the object for which it stands," he answered.

"I also hold to this view. If the Universe is comprehensible then the foundation of language is naming and it is in this way that language can be learnt and therefore language can be the means through which the nature of Universe is explained and understood. The success of modern science and technology is consistent with this view of language," Geraldine commented.

She looked earnestly at Aaron with intense eyes.

"Aaron my darling, you know that we are not only lovers, but we are also intellectual comrades. Without you as my true companion and trustworthy partner, my dearest darling, it would have been an incredibly lonely experience to live the life of faith in God by myself. In this decade, the decade of the swinging sixties, the decade of free love, the decade of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, the decade of the Death of God Theology, the decade to which JAT Robinson's book Honest to God was supposed to speak, in this decade the Hebraic marriage contract between logos and kosmos was finally broken after 300 years of divorce proceedings. Without you I don't know how my life would have turned out. Without you to talk to, my life would have been impoverished. There is not a man in this world that I would look at. You are the only one.You have made a profound difference to my life. I cannot live without you," she said.

"These are my sentiments as well. I cannot contemplate life without you," he said as he reached out and took her hand. She squeezed his hand, holding it tightly.

"We are meant to be together," she said with intense sincerity.

He started the car. They both became silent as he drove down Springs Road westwards, he drove past New Era; the road running parallel to the main railway line between Brakpan and Springs.

A passenger train slowed down as it approached Pollak Park Station. The lights were on in every carriage, and every carriage was empty. It was a forlorn, almost melancholic picture. Aaron remembered Pollak Park Station. For the 5 years, from standard 6 to standard 10, he had caught the train from Boksburg East Station to Pollak Park for the East Rand Inter-High Athletics Meeting at P. A. M. Brink Stadium. All the high schools arrived at this station by train. They came from Germiston High, Edenvale High, Benoni High, Brakpan High, Springs Boys and Springs Girls. They walked along Plantation Road to the stadium. He realized that every town on the East Rand has a Plantation road. Thousands of high school pupils converged onto the stadium. It was like going to the Rand Show. The last time he had got off at Pollak Park Station was five years ago in 1964 when he was in Matric. In that year, the year of 1964, he had fallen in love with Geraldine. In 1964 he had walked to the Stadium in his Boksburg High School uniform with Gavin, Carlos and Dominic for the last time. On that occasion they were surrounded by thousands of white kids. At that time all he could think about was Geraldine the young woman who was now sitting next him in the car. How did this happen to us he mused?

Almost five years have since passed then. They were now planning to get married. In addition they were planning to emigrate. It was and was not about politics. It was about love, possibly about an incredible love, which Aaron felt towards Geraldine, a love that he could not fathom. Geraldine and Aaron had now reached the stage that they would do anything to secure the future of their love.

When they reach Boksburg, he stopped at the stop sign at the corner of Church Street and Buitekant Street next to the Bowling Greens. Geraldine quickly got out and walked swiftly across Buitekant Street to her car parked in front of the Transvaal Hotel. She stood for moment at the driver's door, opened her handbag took out the keys, unlocked the door, got in, started the car, drove to the stop street at Church Street, stopped, turned left into Church Street, and then left again into Rissik Street. The robot at the Commissioner and Rissik Street intersection was red. He stopped behind her car. She looked in her rear view mirror at Aaron. Across the road on the corner the blue light glowed above the charge office entrance of the police station. Mannie's shop opposite the police station was in total darkness. The robot turned green and he followed her until Reiger Park. Aaron flashed his head lights and made a U turn in Middel Street and drove back home to 98 Commissioner Street.

44

Geraldine had completed her teaching practicals. It was already almost the end of October. Aaron had finished his BSc honours project. They were now both now preparing for their final exams. Aaron's last exam was on the 12th of November.

They had obtained their passports and began to explore all options with regard to leaving South Africa. It was proving not to be that simple and they were beginning to feel desperate. Their lives were now on hold and they both felt weary from the stress that they had endured over the past five years, the inevitable stress of having to live double lives, the stress of secrecy.

Every spare moment Aaron wracked his brains, leaving no stone unturned regarding their plans to leave South Africa. Rev Jonathan Blakemore kept coming up in his thoughts. Should he contact him? Was he still with The Community of the Resurrection in Rosettenville? After rummaging in the garage Aaron found an old dusty out of date Johannesburg telephone directory. There was no telephone number for The Community of the Resurrection. He began to phone the rectories of Anglican parishes in the vicinity of Rosettenville. After the third call some Reverend gave him a number to try. He dialled the number and the Bishop's secretary answered.

"I need to contact Rev Jonathan Blakemore at The Community of the Resurrection. Is he still there?"

"Yes Jonathan is still around. To whom I am speaking?

He answered: "It is Aaron Finnegan. I actually met Rev Blakemore a couple of years ago at the Stirtonville Location in Boksburg."

She replied: "Just wait a minute let's see if I can find a number. He does not have a contact number. Wait a minute let me see. Yes try this number."

Aaron called the number. He did not recognize the male voice that answered the phone.

"I would like to speak to Mr, sorry I mean Rev Blakemore."

"Who may I ask is calling?"

"It's Aaron Finnegan."

"Just wait a minute."

After a few minutes, he heard the receiver been lifted. "Hello it is Jonathan speaking."

Immediately he recognized the voice even though more than 4 years had passed since he had last spoken to him. He was very surprised to hear that it was Aaron. Aaron told him that he needed to speak to him about some urgent private matter.

"When do you would like come?"

"Whenever it was convenient."

"What about tonight at 7.00?"

"Shoo, OK I will be there at 7.00".

"Do you know how to get here?"

He gave Aaron the address and directions from the Main Reef Road near George Goch Station.

"Ring the bell at the entrance when you arrive."

Aaron phoned Geraldine. He arranged to meet her at their usual place at 18.00. At 7.00 they pressed the bell on the monasteries main entrance door. A minute later it opened. Father Jonathan could not hide his surprise when he saw Geraldine standing next to Aaron, who introduced her to Reverend Blakemore. After a shaking the Reverend's hand they followed him to a small reception room for visitors.

He sat in silence, listening without interrupting, all the time gazing intently at both of them, the expression on his face becoming more and more amazed as they took turns in spilling out the long, complex and convoluted story that finally resulted in them coming to the monastery seeking help and guidance.

"Well that's our story. We want to leave the country so that we get married and start a normal life together."

"So you are both qualified as teachers now?"

"Yes we are. I have finished my BSc and I have a Diploma in Higher Education. I will finish my exams for my BSc Honours by mid-November. I can teach maths, science and biology. Geraldine finished her final exams in by mid-November," Aaron said.

"We want to leave South Africa so we can get married and start a life together. We wonder if you know of any mission schools where we can get employment, maybe in Lesotho, Botswana, Malawi or Swaziland," he asked.

"So you are not political refugees, but rather refugees of love?" Rev Jonathan said, smiling.

"You may say that, we are indeed refugees of love," Geraldine said, laughing.

"There is an Anglican mission in Swaziland called the Franciscan Order of Lebombo. It is actually an Anglo-Catholic mission. They do work among the rural people. They have a clinic; they have plans for a primary and high school. They do lots of other things as well like training people in carpentry, brick lying, welding, even agriculture. Most of the people working at the mission are under Holy Orders. There is a convent and a monastery. As far as I recall there are no lay people working at the mission. But, and this is a big but, they could possibly use the pair of you in setting up the school that they planning. Not all of the people who have taken up Holy Orders have a professional qualification. I don't know if any of the teachers have professional teaching qualifications. Almost all of the nuns and monks are from Swaziland. So there may be a job for both of you there. The mission is isolated. The place is a good drive from the nearest smallest town. It is located in a beautiful valley. If you like the Bushveld then you will enjoy being there."

He looked at Aaron and Geraldine.

"Do you want me to make enquiries?" he asked.

Five days later Rev Blakemore phoned to confirmed that the Franciscan Order of Lebombo or otherwise known as the Lebombo Community of St Francis of Assisi, after considering their special circumstances and plight would be more than happy to adopt them as a married couple into the community, and could offer them a home as a lay workers at the mission if they were prepared to work in a self-supporting capacity to establish a mission school from scratch.

That evening they visited Rev Blakemore to discuss offer that had been made. He gave then the stark breakdown.

They would not be receiving a salary, they would also have to find funds from donors to build the school and they would have train nuns and monks to work as school teachers. The mission could offer them free accommodation in a cottage, free electricity, free water, free fresh produce from the mission farm in the form of vegetables, eggs, cheese and milk. They would have to find their own salaries in the form of sponsorships, donations or by any other means that they could think up. And lastly, could they please start in January 1970.

Of course the terms and conditions of employment at the Swaziland Mission came as complete surprise to Aaron and Geraldine.

The sat with glum faces before Rev Blakemore weighing up the pro and cons about taking up the job offer if it could be called that. The prospect that they would be working for no income had not entered into their minds.

"What do you think," Aaron asked Geraldine.

After a moment's thought she smiled. The glum face had vanished. She reached out and took Aaron hand and squeezed it.

"I think God has called us to be missionaries, we have received a call from God, are we going to follow the Lord, are we going to put our hand to the plough?" she asked. Before he could respond she continued:

"At least we will be together at last. I cannot go on like this anymore, we don't have any alternative. This is not chance. It is God's will; He wants us to be together. He has made the offer. We must accept it, God will provide for all our needs."

"Do you think God is pushing us into this job," he asked seriously.

She laughed.

"I don't think God is pushing us into anything we don't really want or can't do. I believe that he has opened a door of escape for us," she said, "I believe God will provide for all our needs if we accept this offer."

"Well I suppose it will be an adventure," he conceded, "even if it is not exacting what I had in mind."

"Do you have in doubts," she asked.

"I did initially to be honest. But now I suppose it is the right thing to do," he said.

"OK, so we are going to Swaziland then?" she asked.

"Yes, it is settled, will we accept the offer," he agreed.

They still faced one last legal obstacle. A certificate had to be obtained from the South African authorities stating that there were no impediments preventing their marriage in Swaziland. Getting such a document from the South African government was out of the question. Father Blakemore intervened on their behalf. He contacted Father Madlabane who in turn put their case to the Swaziland authorities. He was eventually given authorization to marry Aaron and Geraldine in Swaziland. He also organized the necessary permits that would allow them to stay and work in Swaziland.

They duly received official letters of appointment as school teachers at the mission. The letters informed them that they would be required to sign a contract accepting the conditions of employment which basically boiled down to the fact that they would not be receiving any remuneration and they would be starting on the 2nd of January 1970. Nothing now stood in their way preventing them from starting a new life together. They were going to get married. The date had been set. At last everything was in now place. They were ready to go. Geraldine had already turned 21 on the 10th of January 1969. The only thing left for them to do was to inform their parents of their plans.

Aaron contacted Father Madlabane with regard to the wedding arrangements and he agreed to marry them at the mission at 10.00 on Tuesday the 25th of November 1969. They decided to have a private wedding involving just the two of themselves and the members of the mission. Max and Rachel's passports had expired. Geraldine's parents did not have passports. Even if their parents wanted to be present at their wedding it would not be possible because of the short notice of their plans.

They decided to trade in both VW Beetles for a VW Combi. Aaron did some calculations. They would had enough money with the trade in on the two VW Beetles to buy a second hand VW Combi. Aaron paid a deposit to secure the deal. He asked them to install a car radio.

45

The phone rang. Hillary answered. She came to the back to the kitchen.

"It's for you Aaron."

He picked up the receiver.

"Hello"

"Hello Aaron, it me Geraldine."

She sounded extremely distraught and tearful.

"Please come over I have finally told my parents everything."

Aaron went back to the kitchen.

"Listen everyone; I have something to important to tell everyone. I apologize for leaving this to the last moment. "

They all stared at him.

"I am getting married on the 25th of November in Swaziland to a Coloured girl called Geraldine McNamara who lives in Reiger Park. We are immigrating to Swaziland. We already have our passports and work permits."

The unexpected news coming out of the blue completely stunned them. Their jaws dropped.

Aaron had finally dropped the bomb shell.

"You never told us anything about a girlfriend." His mother exclaimed.

"I will tell you everything when I get back."

He left them looking at each other in bewilderment, searching for answers that were not be found in their faces.

After he had left a puzzled expression formed on Rachel's face:

"Geraldine McNamara, why does that name sound so familiar to me?" she said.

Her face light up.

"Oh now I remember there was that stunningly beautiful young Indian woman working as the secretary for Marcus , her name was also Geraldine McNamara, you have all seen her, she also comes to Mass at St Dominic's every Sunday," Rachel said.

"So it's that extremely attractive Indian girl who wears those amazing dresses to Mass, is she the Geraldine McNamara you talking about?" Hillary asked.

"Yes that is the one. But those outfits she wears are not designer labels that you can buy from Truworths, they have all been handmade, every single one of them," Rachel observed.

"You all forgetting something, the Geraldine McNamara that Aaron mentioned is a Coloured girl living in Reiger Park, not an Indian," Max responded, after listening to speculations.

"Could there be two Geraldine McNamara's in Boksburg, a Coloured and an Indian, both sharing the same name. That would be one hellavu coincidence," said Hillary.

"Well if the Indian is his girlfriend then I must say that there is nothing wrong with his taste, she is really a stunning woman," Hillary commented.

"Look I am not too excited about this. What about the law and all that, I think he is looking for trouble," Max raised his concerns.

"Pooh! What about the law. He said they leaving the country," Hillary answered.

While they were still speculating about Geraldine McNamara, Aaron parked his car at the front gate of the McNamara's home in Reiger Park. His heart began to beat furiously. He felt his stomach turn and his mouth suddenly felt extremely dry. It felt as if his tongue were sticking to his palate. His ears became blocked. He could hear a singing sound in them as he opened the front gate and walked to the front door. In the dark he could make out a well-kept lawn and a neat garden.

He tried to convince himself that he really had no reason for the way that he was feeling. He reminded himself that he was 22 years old and that they did not need anyone's permission for the decisions that they had made with respect to their lives. Mr McNamara was in all likelihood not even her biological father.

Aaron having overcome his apprehensions knocked on the door. Mr Roger McNamara opened the door. He was a huge man, he filled the door frame. Aaron had never seen him before. He was over six foot, board shouldered, muscular, and physically powerful. This was the man who had been a life saver on a Coloured beach somewhere near Wentworth, who also surfed on a huge surf board. He had surfed where there no shark nets and where the sea beyond the breakers was shark infested.

He could have easily been mistaken for a white person. In fact he looked like many of the huge Afrikaans speaking miners on ERPM, who played rugby for the ERPM rugby team. The colour and the texture of his skin was similar to theirs. It was so weird. He could also visualize him screaming at the lashing teams underground. This was the man who had pacified the Coloured gangs in Reiger Park and brought order and discipline to the High School.

Like the white underground shift bosses on ERPM it was his intimidating physical strength that made him the respected Boss in the Coloured Location. But he had other qualities which all the shift bosses lacked. There was a gravitas in his demeanour and bearing. He had curly light brown hair and bluish-grey eyes. Aaron instinctively disliked him. He was cut in the same mould of all the teachers that he had clashed with throughout primary and high school. He was just like them. He was the boss man.

"Good evening Mr McNamara. I'm Aaron Finnegan."

Mr McNamara stepped back a bit to let Aaron come into the small lounge. Aaron extended his hand, but Mr McNamara ignored it. He glared at Aaron. His eyes were filled with anger. There was also an element of hate and icy menace in his steel grey eyes. His face had become flushed. It was red. It looked like he wanted to start yelling at Aaron. He clenched and unclenched his huge fists. Veins bulged on his forehead. Given half the chance he would have begun to throttled Aaron or beat him up.

Aaron knew that he was also strong and toughened up from years of playing soccer and water polo, but he realized that he would come of second best if McNamara got stuck into him. Aaron did not flinch he stared straight back into his eyes to show him he was not scared or intimidated. Aaron tried to control his facial muscles to fix the expression on his face into at rigid impassive stoical poker-face like mask.

He glanced at Geraldine. She was relieved to see Aaron. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Her face was strained and taunt. She kept on blowing her nose with a tattered tissue. She remained seated. Her posture was stiff. The lounge suite was new. On one of the walls was a picture of the Virgin Mary holding the infant Jesus. On the other wall there hung a crucifix.

Mr McNamara began to speak: "I not entirely ignorant of the law. You and Geraldine have been breaking the law by having a relationship. Apparently this relationship has been going on since 1964. For two years while you were still minors you were meeting secretly at my sister-in-laws home down the road when Geraldine was supposed to be babysitting her little cousin. This is how devious the pair of you have been. Who knows what the pair of you got up to when you both were alone together? We are not even sure whether she is still virgin. Early this evening I threaten to take her to a doctor to verify whether she was still a virgin. We have forbidden her to have boyfriends while she was still at school. Unfortunately in the Coloured community there is high rate of teenage pregnancies. She is an extremely attractive young lady and I know that young men are full of hormones with only have one thing on their mind with girls like her. They cannot control themselves and I wonder whether she can control herself."

Aaron butted in: "Mr McNamara we have done nothing wrong."

"Shut up, I am not finished speaking. Don't interrupt me. I am a recognized leader in the Coloured community. People look up to me. I have to fulfil many obligations and responsibilities with regard to the Coloured community. We as a family have a duty to be an example to the Coloured community. I cannot neglect my responsibilities as a parent. She has broken our trust. How can we ever trust her again after this? We are extremely disappointed with her sneaky and devious behaviour. I can't believe that my own daughter has been so deceitful. I still find it very hard to believe that she became involved with you, especially after we all agreed as a family that only once she had finished school could she start having boyfriends."

Aaron interrupted him again: "Mr McNamara, we are both over 21. We don't have to ask your permission regarding our plans or decisions. We have not broken any laws as far as I am concerned."

Waving his finger in Aaron's face he raised his voice: "Well I am not so sure about that. Now you listen to me very carefully pal. I will go to the police. I am a personal friend of the station commander. I will lay charges against you. I don't want you to come anywhere near my daughter. I don't want you in Reiger Park. You have no business here. I forbid you from having any contact with Geraldine. My wife and I have worked extremely hard to get where we are today. We have tried to instil good moral values in our children. We don't want some spoiled irresponsible rich white boy taking advantage of our daughter and in the process ruining her life and our lives. You white boys think you own the whole world. You think you are not answerable to anyone and that you can do anything you like."

As he spoke and threatened drastic action, Geraldine's tear stained face became more and more defiant. Aaron could see that she could no longer restrain herself anymore. She jumped up, her eyes flashing wildly, her face contorted with anger; she started screaming at her father:

"I am not going to stop seeing Aaron. I love him and he loves me. You can run to your friends at the police station. See if I care. Your threats don't frighten me. We are leaving the country anyway within a few days. So we will not complicate your life or embarrass you with your friends at the Police Station."

Her anger and defiance surprised Aaron. He felt himself trembling. Then he heard himself as in a dream speaking in a firm and determined voice

"Mr McNamara I am going to marry Geraldine and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Tears began to well up in Aaron's eyes, he was becoming all choked up and struggled to maintain his composure. Suddenly, the five years of pent up emotions, stress and strain began to overwhelm him as well. He struggled not to cry. He took a couple of deep breaths.

"Go to the police then. Go lay your changes against me. Your threats also don't scare me. I don't care if I get thrown into jail. I have always been a gentleman to Geraldine. I have never taken advantage of her. I love her too much for that. I also have my own morals standards and self-respect. I respect Geraldine. You have also insulted and humiliated me tonight calling me a white boy. I am not a boy. We are adults. We don't deserve to be treated like children."

Aaron could not believe that he was actually saying this. But at the same time he also began to feel sorry for Mr McNamara. He actually began to feel very conflicted. In his mind he knew that Mr McNamara was not to blame for the apartheid laws. All Aaron wanted from him was some kind of cooperation. Aaron lowered his voice, softening his tone and he began to plead earnestly.

"I love Geraldine and in the next few days we are going to leave. We are not asking you for blessings or approval or even your permission, we just asking you to leave us alone and let us go without having us to deal with problems regarding the police and the law. Give us a break; please let us go without running to the police and having us arrested. Please let us just be. We are not harming anyone. I also want my freedom from oppression."

Mr Roger McNamara's huge muscular frame seemed to sag under the crushing load of an invisible burden that had become increasingly unbearable. He sank down into the one of the lounge chairs and slumped back into a limp heap. The fight had gone out of him. An expression of hopelessness and tired resignation became etched over his face. He looked emotionally exhausted, completely drained.

Mrs Rosanne McNamara sat weeping uncontrollably, her head bowed, her hands covering her face. Geraldine's parents were broken. They had become crushed by the unexpected events that had suddenly overwhelmed their family. The twin boys, David and Jonathan, appeared in their pyjamas at the door of the lounge that opened into the passage way to the bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen. Their little sister Catharine joined them, dressed in her nightie. They stood in the doorway silently staring at Aaron, their stark white, light skinned little faces sad and bewildered. Catharine began to cry. She ran to her mother and climbed onto her lap.

It was obvious that the McNamara's were proudly and devotedly Roman Catholics. Aaron looked up at the crucified Messiah. It seemed that the anguish of Gethsemane and the unbearable pain and hopeless despair of Golgotha had permeated into the lounge, into their hearts, into their minds, into their lives in South Africa, crushing them.

He stared at the Virgin Mary. Tears began to well up in his eyes as stared at Mary, their Holy Mother, who will always be there, praying for them even at the hour of their deaths. Looking at Mother Mary he thought: 'At the hour of our deaths, Mother Mary will meet us and point us to the Father, who will in turn receive us. She will be with us at the hour of our death in the same way as she the Mother of Jesus received the dead body of our Lord at the hour of his death. She received his mortal remains after they had been taken down from the cross'.

Aaron also thought of the stark and dramatic sculpture by Michelangelo of Mary holding the dead body of Jesus. This sculpture captures the heart wrenching pathos of the death of Jesus following his crucifixion on a Roman cross under Pontius Pilate. The grief stricken Mary holds the dead body of Jesus, his limp arm hanging lifeless. God has died a human death. This is the profound and enigmatic mystery of the Christian Faith.

It is also the greatest paradox of the Christian Faith. It places a question mark on everything. Aaron remembered some time ago the Easter edition of Time magazine which he had read with great interest. It was about the discovery of some theologian called Altizer. Altizer's 'theological discovery' was that God had really died at Golgotha, and he was indeed actually dead, He was no more. God was really no more. The cover of the magazine had the appearance of a formal funeral notice, it asked in bold red letters on a plain black background "Is God Dead?"

For the protestant theologian Thomas Altizer the lifeless body held in the lap of Mary truly also represented the actual death of God. While in the celebration of the Eucharist, the Roman Catholic Church affirms in the fundamental mystery of their faith the terrifying and incomprehensible paradox, that God died on Good Friday, but rose again on Easter, Altizer goes one step further, he proposes that God has really indeed died, but never to rise again. Could this be the true meaning of the sacrificial Holocaust that the congregation offers at the altar in a sacrifice of praise at Mass every Sunday? Why does Altizer believe that God is no more? How can he believe that when for all Catholics the whole of reality is pregnant with the divine presence of God?

Geraldine was now bowed over quietly weeping. Aaron began to feel like a real mess.

In the end Mr McNamara relented: "Okay. I am not going to stop you. All I ask is that you act responsibly. That both of you continue to be discreet over the next few days. We are not going to stand in your way. We wish both of you well. We give you our blessing. "

46

They took delivery of their white Combi. A new car radio had been installed. They could not get by without a car radio. Aaron warned Rachel that he would be bringing Geraldine over to meet the Finnegan family. Geraldine felt quite nervous as they drove to the Finnegan's grand residence at 98 Commissioner Street.

"My parents asked me if you were the Geraldine McNamara who works at Marcus Bogoraz?" he said with an amused smile on his face.

"So what did you tell?" she asked, looking concerned.

"I told them that you were the one," he said.

"This is going to be so awkward," she said with a worried look on her face.

"Why is going to be awkward?" he asked.

"Well your mom has spoken to me about you while they were waiting to see Marcus Bogoraz, and I had to play dumb," she said.

He turned in at the first gate, the entrance. The jacaranda tree next to the gate was in full purple bloom. He stopped and parked the car in the driveway next to the front door. The front door was open. He took Geraldine's hand and as they stepped onto the front veranda Rachel, Max, Hillary and Nathan came out to meet them in the entrance foyer.

Geraldine was wearing her cobalt coloured sleeveless square necked dress. She had put on a pair of black high heels. She had braided her long hair into two thick plaits which hang over her upper chest. Her hair was parted slightly off centre towards the left side of her forehead. Two strands of hair on either side of her face curved down between her temples and ears, behind her high cheek bones and over the side of cheeks her touching her neck. The two strands had pulled away from the plaits. She had woven black velvet ribbons around the ends of the plaits. She had cleverly contrasted her deeply dark pigmented cheeks with a light blush of raisin, rust blood red and fuchsia. She had made up her eyes with a touch of silver and navy blue which complemented her dress. She wore plum lipstick. Her hair and skin glowed with health. She looked magnificent.

"We don't need any introductions. We already know you Geraldine," Max said while stretching out his hand to shake hers.

"That is true, but it came as a very pleasant surprise when we learnt that you were the one, please came in," Rachel said.

Aaron could see from the expression on their faces that they were completely taken aback by this amazing ebony woman that he had on his elbow. There was no doubt from the expression on their faces that she had made a huge impact. She had the magnetic physical presence and grace of a black panther.

Rachel turned to Nathan; go tell Emily to make tea and bring the plate with the cake. Turning to Geraldine she said:

"Come inside, I dearly hope you will be staying for supper. I have made Aaron's favourite dish, roast duck with orange sauce. When Aaron said he would be bringing you over I told him that it must be for supper, I hope you have not made other plans," she asked, with almost a pleading expression on her face.

They all sat down in the lounge. Aaron sat on the sofa next to Geraldine. She had clung tightly to his hand since their arrival. Their hands become hot and sweaty. Emily walked stiffly into the lounge. She gave Geraldine an icy hostile look. Before Emily could put the tray down, Rachel jumped up. Aaron could see Rachel had suddenly become nervous and awkward in the presence of Emily. Emily was not nervous. She obviously did not like Geraldine. She disapproved. She ignored Aaron and she ignored Geraldine.

"Emily, this is Aaron's fiancée Geraldine McNamara."

She turned to Rachel.

"Will that be all Madame?"

"Yes Emily. We will be having supper a bit earlier tonight. You can set the table so long in the dining room. I will come and help you with the serving up," said Rachel.

Making no eye contact with either Aaron or Geraldine, she turned on her heel and left the lounge without saying anything.

Geraldine looked at Aaron and raised her eyebrows. Obviously Emily did not approve of the new black Madame. Aaron was sure that she looked down on Geraldine because she was a Coloured or a baster (half-breed). He had heard her use the word baster when she spoke in a derogatory manner about Coloureds, especially when referring to Solomon Augustus who often came around on his bike to clear drains in the neighbourhood.

He once caught the tail end of an argument between Emily and Solomon which ended with the words 'Ek weet wie my Ma is, ek is nie 'n baster nie.' (I know who my mother is, I not a half-breed). He often wondered why Emily was so rude to Solomon wherever he came to their house. Eventually he found out that Solomon was making overtures to Emily. Emily was a very attractive looking Sotho woman.

The atmosphere in the lounge had become definitely awkward. Max made a nervous cough. Aaron had never in his life seen him do this. Max stood up.

"I think I will go an open a bottle of red wine," he said.

"I think I will come with you dad," Nathan said, also jumping up.

"No not yet Max...we haven't had a proper look at Aaron and Geraldine's new car...Aaron come and show us the new car," Rachel said, also standing up.

They all put their cups of tea down and marched outside to inspect the Combi. After looking at the car Aaron suggested he show Geraldine the garden, trying to hint that the couple be left alone for a while before supper.

"Yes that is a splendid idea we will all come with you and show Geraldine the place," Rachel quickly responded.

So they all walked together following Nathan as he gave a running commentary. First they walked around the swimming pool and then they made a tour of the garden, looking at all the flowers that had been recently planted. Then they walked over to the fish pond. Nathan had started fishing at the rock dam next to the Hercules stone dump and was continuing the tradition of releasing his catch into the pond. Geraldine bent down over the pond as Nathan excitedly pointed to the fish. They then followed Nathan as he lead the way to show Geraldine the tortoises, guinea pigs, rabbits, pigeons, ducks, geese, turkeys and fowls.

"What is going to happen to the tortoises, guinea pigs, rabbits and pigeons when Aaron goes," Geraldine asked.

"Aaron has given them to me," Nathan answered proudly.

"Are also going to become a zoologist like your brother?" Geraldine asked Nathan.

"No I am going to study to become a mechanical engineer and be like my dad," he said proudly.

"Wow your home and garden is so amazing. You do not realize how big the grounds are from outside. When you drive past the split pole fence hides everything," Geraldine exclaimed, showing genuine appreciation for the mine property.

"We have been here since 1941. Is that correct Max? How time flies. It seems like just yesterday that we moved into 98 Commissioner Street," said Rachel walking towards the house.

"Where are we going now?" Nathan asked.

"Inside," Rachel replied.

"No it too early to go inside. Supper is only at six thirty, let's all sit by the pool. I have idea, why don't we swim. Aaron don't you want also swim. Geraldine can also swim. She can borrow her one of Hillary's customes," Nathan said.

"No Nathan, I am sure Aaron and Geraldine do not want to swim right now," Rachel interjected.

They all sat on the wire mesh chairs by the pool.

A masked weaver was still busy at this late hour. Hanging upside down from the nest he had been building, he was now busy vibrating and quivering his open wings. His loud sizzling chittering calls and sharp zik, zik, zik sounds caught their attention.

"Why does he strip all the leaves from the branches round the nests?" Max asked Aaron. The weavers built their nests every year in the tall poplar trees close to the pool.

"He strips the leaves so that the females can have an unimpeded view of his courtship display," Aaron answered.

"Is he doing a courtship display now?" Hillary asked.

"That's is right, the collection of nests that he has built, his hanging upside down, the swizzing-zik-zik calls and quivering wings are all part of his courtship ritual."

"I can't image summer without the sizzling noise of the weaver birds around the pool," Hillary remarked while watching the weaver bird.

Rachel got up to check on the supper. Two minutes later she returned.

"Supper is ready."

Max poured the wine. Everyone dished up slabs of duck breast into their plates. As Max prayed:

'In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost,' everyone crossed themselves.

"You and Aaron have taken us all by surprise. How did you meet and how long have you known each other?" Rachel finally asked.

"We attended Mass at St Dominic's Catholic Church from 1963 to about March or April in 1964 before we started going to St Francis in Reiger Park. It was at St Dominic's that we first noticed each other. We first meet properly in January 1964 after we bumped into each other at Kalamazoo and then after that things just developed between us," Geraldine said.

"I still don't understand. How was it possible that you could keep your relationship a secret for so long without it being discovered," Rachel asked.

Geraldine laughed. She looked at Aaron: "What don't you tell him."

Aaron told them the whole story. They listened with expressions that wavered between disbelief and astonishment.

"Aaron has told us about your marriage plans and that both of you will be moving to Swaziland. We were totally unprepared for all of this so naturally it has come as a shock. We understand perfectly your situation. Aaron has explained everything. You have made up your minds to do what you feel you have to do. But for us it is heart-breaking as well. You have planned things in such a way that we can't even attend your wedding. Well, we have not even been invited. This has hurt us tremendously. It is been very painful for us. I know my own heart is aching. You could have at least come and spoken to us about your relationship. You did not have to keep it secret and do all your planning behind our backs," Rachel said, she had become a bit tearful and emotional.

"I am sorry for all of this Mrs Finnegan. We fell in love. Our love was forbidden. We did not want to complicate matters. We felt that our love could only be protected and survive if it was kept it a secret. Since 1964 Aaron and I have lived abnormal lives. It has affected us as well. It is miracle that we are still together. We yearn for nothing else but live normally," Geraldine answered.

"Over the past few days we have heard so much about you from Aaron. I am proud that you are going be our daughter in law. I could not have asked for a more wonderful daughter in law and wife for Aaron," Rachel answered, fighting back her tears.

Hillary jumped up: "I think we need to drink a toast to Aaron and Geraldine. I am going to and fetch the champagne from the fridge in the kitchen.

Aaron opened the bottle while Hillary got the champagne glasses.

Max stood up: "To Aaron and Geraldine."

"I am certain that Aaron and Geraldine will make a fine couple. I also agree with Rachel that they should have confided in us earlier with respect to their plans. We would have helped and made it a lot easier for you. But what is done is done. You have done what you wanted by your selves in a responsible and practical manner. I can only compliment both of you on this. It is sad that we live under circumstances where people like Aaron and Geraldine cannot have a life together in South Africa. This is the reality they have had to face. They have decided to do what they believe is right for themselves. They have my support and Rachel's support. We would like to give your wedding present now. In this envelop is money for your honeymoon and a bit of start-up money that you may need. We have also booked you into the Polana Hotel in Lourenco Marques for three nights and Ian Noble has given you the use of his cottage at Tofo Inhambane until the 1st of January as a wedding present. When I told Whitehead and Noble about your plans to get married and live in Swaziland, they did not bat an eyelid. Anyway both send their congratulations and good wishes. This is from Keith Whitehead, also a bit of cash to help you on your way," Max passed Aaron a fat brown envelop and white envelope."

Geraldine, Hillary and Rachel were all very tearful. Aaron was also beginning to feel all choked up.

He said a short speech thanking them for their support and understanding.

It was late. They all walked to the parked Combi. Geraldine said her farewells to Rachel, Max, Hillary and Nathan. Tomorrow would be their last day. They had decided to leave for Swaziland the day after tomorrow.

47

As Aaron steered the Combi into Commissioner Street to take Geraldine home she requested that they test drive the Combi on their last nocturnal excursion.

By November the main streets of almost every town on the East Rand and West Rand were decorated in coloured lights displaying the usual festive themes associated with Christmas. Coloured lights were strung across the main roads in the shopping centres of all the towns. In Boksburg coloured lights had been strung across the Lake's promenade and over the water along the banks of the Lake. The coloured lights illuminating the promenade had been switched on for the festive season at Boksburg Lake every year since 1911. On the 2nd of January 1911 the East Express reported that hooligans had smashed the lights illuminating the promenade. Only one of the culprits were caught and had to pay a £ 11.00 fine. Aaron drove around the Lake.

"It's so beautiful," Geraldine exclaimed.

"If you think this is specular then you have not seen anything until you see the lights in Johannesburg town," Aaron said.

"Oh please, pretty please Aaron, let's go look at the Christmas lights in Johannesburg. I have never seen the lights in Johannesburg my darling," Geraldine said.

Leaving Boksburg Lake they drove along Comet Road turning round the sharp suicide bend corner by the ERPM workshops. At the robots by the ERPM swimming pool and golf course Aaron turned left into the Main Reef Road and driving past the Angelo Hotel which was also decorated with Christmas lights. They had forgotten to switch on the radio; as they drove past the Caledonian Hotel in Primrose Geraldine tuned into LM radio.

Following the Main Reef Road they drove past the old Simmer and Jack mine until the Main Reef Road merged with Stanhope Road. Following Stanhope Road they drove past the cars queuing at the Stadium Drive-In. Across the road Geraldine glanced at the famous Doll's House Road House. At the end of Stanhope Road Aaron they turned into Jules Street. As a kid Aaron used to believe that Jules Street was the longest street in the world. Aaron managed to catch every green robot in Jules Street which seemed endless. They took a right turn off Jules Street into John Page Drive which they followed until they hit Commissioner Street. Commissioner Street took them right into the centre of Johannesburg City. Once in the city centre Commissioner Street took them past the Empire Bioscope, then Her Majesty's Theatre and finally the glimmering Colosseum came into view. In the centre of the city coloured Christmas lights were strung across Commissioner Street. Crowds of people lingered on the pavements outside the Colosseum. Aaron turned into Market Street and drove back home to Boksburg. It was the first time that Geraldine had seen the Colosseum. She had never been in the Johannesburg city centre at night before. She was like a child taking in all the glitz, glimmer and sparkle of the Johannesburg CBD during the festive season.

Geraldine seemed to have shrugged off all her stress.

"To me Advent is the most wonderful season on the Church's calendar. Advent commemorates the fulfilment of all the prophecies and promises of the Old Testament. It's the best time of the year. I always find the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas so special. Just think God became incarnate in our midst. I can just visualize the shepherds, the star over Bethlehem and the Magi from the east, for in Bethlehem the Messiah was to be born that night. 'In Bethlehem in Judea for this is what the prophet has written : But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel'. "

Aaron listened to her. He loved it when she became so talkative. He could listen to her for hours.

"Talking about the Nativity of Jesus and God incarnate in our midst makes me think about one of my Unisa Religious Studies assignments on the various proofs of God's existence such as the cosmological argument, the ontological argument and the moral argument and so. Apart from these classical arguments we had to look at the possibility of an empirically based argument for God's existence. The problems of the empirical argument turned out to quite interesting I think."

"Why is that?" he asked.

"A good place to start is John 14: 6 -9 where Jesus gives his farewell speech to his disciples. In the speech he said the following 'I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also; henceforth you have known him and seen him'. Now if you can remember, at this point a dramatic interlude in the dialogue takes place between Philip and Jesus. Philip is the one who asks the question which was on everyone's lips. He asks Jesus: 'Lord, show us the Father, and we shall be satisfied.' Even after being with Jesus for three years, having seen all that he had done, having heard all that he had said, they are still unable to make the connection between the man called Jesus and the incarnation of God. In fact it would have been impossible for them to have conceived of such a connection. To make such a connection on the intellectual level they would have had to understand and affirm the Athanasian Creed. So we can fully understand that the answer which Jesus gave to Philip's request must have come as a great surprise to Philip and all the other disciples. Jesus said: 'Have I been with you so long and yet you do not know me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father'. Now here we have a serious problem."

"What do you mean?" Aaron asked.

"OK. Let me put it this way. How could they possibly have comprehended what Jesus had said when he said 'he who has seen me has seen the Father?' What Jesus was actually saying was this: 'He who has seen me has seen God, the Creator and Master of the Universe.' Jesus was saying to Philip and the disciples: 'He who has seen me has seen God.' Don't you think that is simply amazing? But it does not end there. After his resurrection Jesus appeared to disciples at the Sea of Tiberius. Remember they were fishing and he was standing on the beach. He called out to them asking if they had caught any fish. They replied 'No'. He then shouts back to them telling them to throw the nets out on the right, which they do, and guess what, they make a massive catch which they cannot haul onto the boat. John must have then recognised that it was Jesus standing on the beach. He tells Peter it is the Lord. And of course Peter being Peter jumps out of the boat and wades through the water towards Jesus on the beach. The other disciplines bring the boat in, towing the net full of fish behind the boat. On the beach they find that Jesus has made a fire and is braaing (roasting) some fish on the coals. He invites the disciples to join him for breakfast on the beach. They all gather round him. At that pregnant moment the question that is foremost in the minds of all the disciples was: 'Who are you?' Remember he has already told them before who he was. But they have not yet grasped what he meant, and now they dare not ask him again who he is. Remember he has already told them who is. He has even told the high priests who he was. Basically he has told a number of key witnesses that He is indeed God. He is God incarnate. Now why God should be incarnated in a material form, as in flesh and blood? Why should God be fully man as Jesus before there very eyes. The answer is quite simple He has to be in a material form in order to be perceived through sensory perception or to be accessible to sensory perception. This raises an empirical problem."

"How does this raise an empirical problem?" Aaron asked.

"Let formulate the problem this way. We can argue that in order to know God we need to have empirical access to God through our senses. So we need to ascertain whether anyone can actually see God or whether anyone has in fact seen God? In order see God we have to have a sense perception or sense experience of God . We can only see what is seeable, something which is manifest. We can only see material things, things which happen to visible, things which reflect light, without light being reflected we cannot see anything at all. In order to have a sense perception of God it would be necessary for God to reveal Himself to us within space and time in a material form. In other words God would have to become incarnate in some form in order to make it possible for us to perceive or see Him. I suppose that there is no restriction regarding the form in which God could chose to make Himself visible to human perception. However for the sake of an example let's assume that God decides voluntarily to reveal Himself in human form in order to become empirically accessible to us. So God could present himself to us as a human person who can been seen, heard, smelt and touched. Now how would he prove to us that He is actually God without compelling us to believe that He is God by doing something to our brains that would condition or predispose us to believe and see that He is actually who He claims to be, that is, God. "

"According the Gospel of John this is actually how God revealed himself to man," Aaron said.

"Precisely. According to the Gospel of John, God in Jesus became part of the perceptible empirical realm. The definitive Word or empirical revelation of God, became perceptible to all within the empirical realm of the Cosmos in the person of Jesus. Even so, many could not see or perceive that the God of the Universe was actually or factually in their midst. God was incarnate, but because He was still the omnipotent creator of the Universe, He could perform acts which were miraculous in terms of the perceived existing order of nature, that is they were miraculous in terms of our understanding of the Regularities and Uniformities of Nature. Yet many of those who had observed these events which appeared to be miracles remained incredulous and disbelieving," Geraldine said.

"So they could not perceive that this was God himself acting right before their eyes," he said.

"Yes. That is the problem that Jesus had to contend with. Therefore even though Jesus performed many miracles, with each new miraculous occurrence the miracles became more and more mundane, they lost their power to impress, convince or persuade. They became ordinary and the people became increasingly numb to or even habituated to miraculous events. You can image the sceptics saying to Jesus, 'Rabbi, please just perform one more miracle and then we will really believe that you are God indeed. Here we run into Hume's problem of induction."

"Remind me what Hume's problem of induction is about?" Aaron asked even though he was very familiar with the problem of induction from the Philosophy of Science course he took as his compulsory art subject in his third year at Wits.

"We could put it this way. How many more miracles would Jesus have had to perform before everyone became convinced that he was the Word made flesh, the Messiah? We could argue that nothing Jesus could do, without tampering with their minds or manipulating their brains, would be sufficient or compelling enough to convince a sceptic that he was indeed God. So believe it or not we end up having to agree with the Calvinists. The Calvinists propose that because man lacks the cognitive capacity to recognized or even understand the message of redemption, God has to infuse our minds and hearts with the irresistible grace of faith, in order to empower us with the very capacity to believe, so that we can accept God's acceptance. Our so-called free-will may in fact always make us a not so free agent after all, but rather slaves to scepticism and therefore our so-called free-will could be an obstacle to the achievement of faith, we may actually be incapable of believing our own eyes, which in turn makes us incapable of faith, which makes us wonder how many miracles it will take before someone believes or has faith?" She ask.

"Maybe the Calvinists are right," Aaron replied.

"Yes may be, that would be a joke, "she said, "but for Catholics this shouldn't be a problem. If look at the history of ideas in Catholicism I am sure you find that somewhere Catholics have proposed this before the Calvinists."

"So if we cannot see God then in the end we cannot prove God's existence?" He asked.

"Interesting question; it seems that seeing something, could be taken as a necessary condition for establishing the existence of something. I have not really thought about whether we are able to logically or empirically prove our own existence or even the existence of external objects in the world? Firstly what is the logical and grammatical status of 'exists'. I don't even know what that means for certain. We had to read Moore's paper on the existence of an external world for a philosophy tutorial. I remember Moore arguing that he can prove the existence of things. I think he said, 'I can prove now, for instance, that two human hands exist. How? By holding up my two hands, and saying, as I make a certain gesture with the right hand, 'Here is one hand', and adding, as I make a certain gesture with the left, 'and here is another.' In fact Moore's paper even got Wittgenstein going. In response to Moore statement about hands and existence, Wittgenstein proposed that 'If you do know that here is one hand, we'll grant you all the rest'. On second thoughts what did he mean by this statement? Here is one hand; it exists, if you are not sure take a closer look."

"You learnt all of this in Religious Studies?" He asked

"Yes, do you find it strange?" She asked and laughed.

"Where did you hear about Moore and Wittgenstein," he asked.

"In my Unisa study notes," she replied.

"I am so glad that I am finished with exams for the time being. Exams make November such foreboding month don't you think," she said.

48

After their excursion to Johannesburg Aaron and Geraldine returned to the McNamara's home in Reiger Park. Geraldine helped him to pack all her belongings into the Combi. Aaron then drove back to 98 Commissioner Street to spend his last night at what had been his home for his entire life.

At 4.00 am the following morning it was still dark when he stopped the Combi at the front gate of the McNamara home. All the lights were on. The whole family escorted Geraldine to the front gate. He took her remaining bags and suitcases and packed them into the Combi. She put her blanket and pillow in the cab. Mr and Mrs McNamara hugged and kissed Geraldine. They then both hugged Aaron. That was totally unexpected.

They drove eastwards towards the rising sun passing through Brakpan and Springs before taking the road to Devon. Geraldine looked drained and exhausted.

"I am going to climb over and sleep on the back seat. I can't keep my eyes open anymore."

She climbed over and lay down on the back passenger seat, she covered herself with the blanket, laid her head on the pillow. Just before she fell asleep she started to speak in a sleepy voice:

"At last we are finally on our journey to a new life. You know there is a famous quotation from Martin Buber; he said 'all journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware.' "

Aaron answered her with his own quotations: "Speaking about journeys and secret destinations, Plato sees the human journey of life as a passage from the world of appearances to reality. He had so little faith in sense perception."

She mumbled something quite strange in a sleepy manner. What she said sounded incoherent, so Aaron asked her: "Geraldine what are you talking about?"

She replied: "Mmmmm..." She became quite. He glanced over and saw that she was sound asleep. Aaron stopped at a garage in Ermelo and topped up the tank with petrol. As he drove through the dark empty streets of Ermelo he put on the radio. It was set on the channel for LM Radio. The sun started to rise painting the sky with a mixture of crimson, pink and blue.

Mustang Sally came on the air.

In the distance he saw the Camden Power Station. White fluffy cotton wool-like clouds of steam rose from the cooling towers into the fresh morning air. Dark grey smoke billowed out of the four tall smoke stakes. It had been commissioned in 1967. While the power station was still under construction the Finnegans had visited the site on the way back from a fishing trip to Sodwana Bay. Max knew the project engineer who worked for the main construction company. He took Aaron and Nathan on tour of Power Station while Rachel and Hillary slept in the car. It was still brand new. It was surrounded by vast fields of maize that seemed to stretch to the horizon. At the Oshoek border post Aaron woke Geraldine up. They went through the South Africa and Swaziland customs together without a hitch. She went back to sleep on the passenger seat. After driving for about 5 km Aaron stopped to check the road map. He had never been to Swaziland before. He had to get to Bremersdorp and then from there to Stegi. The mission was located on a farm somewhere among the Lebombo hills near Stegi. It used to be a cattle ranch. It was owned by Lord Atchison who was an extremely wealthy absentee landlord who moved back to England. He was a devout Anglican had always supported mission work in the area. He had set aside a large portion of the land on which a borehole and all the original farm buildings were located for the mission work of the Lebombo Community of St Francis of Assisi. The mission station was surrounded by land that had been demarcated as tribal land.

Just out of Stegi Aaron found the gravel road turn off that would take them to the mission station. After about 20 km he turned left onto a narrow two track sand road. The sand road followed a small rocky stream that snaked down the foot hills of Lebombo Mountains. After traveling for 15 km the road ended at a farm gate. Next to gate was the sign 'Lebombo Community of St Francis of Assisi'. About 800 meters from the gate on level ground surrounded by densely vegetated hilly koppies stood the church, a large farm house, a bungalow, and some outbuildings that looked like stables, sheds and barns.

He stopped the Combi outside church. A sign stating 'Reception' pointed in the direction of the main entrance of the church. After parking the Combi he noticed that the entrance opened into a large foyer that separated the church from a passage of offices. A small herd of what seemed to be tame impala stood under some acacia trees near the church.

Geraldine was still sound asleep. He gently woke her up: "We have arrived."

She raised herself onto her left elbow and craned her neck to examine the surroundings. She had an uncomprehending drowsy expression on her face, but managed to say:

"Are we here?"

She sat up rubbed her eyes, looking now wide-eyed at their new surroundings she said: "Wow it so beautiful. Is that the church? Look over there under the tree, are those buck?"

"Yes they are impala."

They got out the cab and walked into the foyer. On the right was the church entrance. The churches interior was cavernous, of cathedral proportions. On the left was a passage with offices on either side. On the first door on the left was the reception. In a corner of the foyer was a model of the Nativity scene. A nun was sitting at the desk typing. From the window one could see their Combi and further on one could see the impala. Standing in the doorway Aaron said:

"Good morning. I am Aaron and this Geraldine. We would like to see Father Shaun McGreevy."

"Hello, nice to meet you, I am Sister Catherine. I will go and call him. You can wait here in the entrance hall."

In the foyer they sat on down on chairs at a small round table. The nun disappeared through a door down the passage. After about 3 minutes she returned with Father Shaun. He was short and stout, with a freckled face, green eyes, a bushy ginger beard, a mass of dishevelled red hair. He seemed to be in his mid-thirties. He wore a long sleeved open neck light blue shirt and grey flannel pants. Speaking with a jovial English accent he welcomed Aaron and Geraldine to the mission:

"Ah hello Aaron and this must be your fiancées Geraldine. Hello nice to meet you. Yes I have heard all about the pair of you from Jonathan. Welcome. Come lets go to my office for a chat and then I will show you around."

They followed him to the end office on the right. He sat down behind his desk and they sat on the chairs in front of the desk. He leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs under the desk, placed his hands over his stomach, interlaced his figures, and at looked at Aaron and Geraldine intently for a few seconds.

"As you know we are a faith based organization. We are completely self-supporting. Lord Atchison has denoted about 200 ha to the mission."

"We have always wanted to start a start a school at the mission. We prayed about it. I approached a number of parishes and businesses in the UK for donations to fund the building of classrooms. So far we have received nothing yet.

"We have chosen a site for the school. If you turn around and look through the window you will be able to see that clump of acacia trees well that's your school."

They turned around and saw through the window about a 100 m from the Church a stand of about 20 or more large acacia trees. There were Knob Thorn Acacias, Leadwood Bushwillow, Silver Cluster Leaf trees, Lebombo Iron Wood, Red Thorn Acacias, most were large, many over 10 meters tall. The grass beneath the canopy had been close cropped by a small flock of dorper sheep. Aaron could see the sheep. They were resting in the shade of a tall Red Thorn Acacia. He suspected that the grass was also kept cropped short by game that probably visited the mission grounds at night. The grass beneath the trees looked like a vast emerald green manicured lawn.

"We have received the school curriculum. The text books have been donated and will be arriving in January. Do have any questions?"

"We have lots of questions," said Geraldine.

"Well shoot. I will try and answer as best as I can."

"We have found a means of making some income. Could I keep cattle on the mission property?" Aaron asked.

"We don't want to rely on donations. I could make dresses as I am a trained seamstress, but that would cut into my time which I want to devote to teaching and training. Aaron knows a lot about livestock and if we can breed cattle and buy and sell cattle we will be able to support ourselves," she said in support of Aaron proposal.

Father Shaun thought about their income generation plan for a moment.

"In principle I don't have any objections, but I reckon it will be OK if we can take 10% for the mission as a tithe," he said.

"I am happy with that," Aaron said.

"Do you have money to buy cattle," Father Shaun asked.

"Yes," Aaron said.

"Well OK that is settled. Do you have any other questions," Father Shaun asked.

"We are Roman Catholic," said Geraldine, "do we have to convert to Anglicanism."

"No, I as the rector of this Church and mission I do not see any need for you to become Anglican," he answered, "I don't know what Father Jonathan told you?"

"He said that there would not be problem with us being Catholic because many of the brothers, sisters and ordained Priests in the Community of the Resurrection subscribe to Anglo-Catholicism and we would be comfortable with the celebration of the Mass at the Swaziland mission," said Geraldine, "and while he did not go into any explicit details regarding the similarities and differences between the Anglican and the Catholic Mass, he did say we won't have problems. What is Anglo-Catholicism and will we be able to receive Holy Communion as Catholics in the Anglican Church?"

"Before I answer any of your questions let me inform you about the Community of the Resurrection. We are what sociologists would call a religious community. I personally don't like the word religious because it has acquired all kinds of negative connotations. So let's rather say we are a faith community with very ancient roots. A community that in keeping with its ancient roots is essentially Apostolic and Catholic in the articulation and practice of its beliefs and faith. Our belief and practices have an ancient ancestry going right back to first century Judaism, the Apostles and the Fathers of the Church. Our ancestry and lines of descent goes right back to the first century synagogues and the temple worship whose rites and liturgy Jesus and his disciples observed, upheld and endorsed. Our roots also go back the ancient Church of England that Bede wrote about in his books, for example: 'A History of the English Church and People' and 'Lives of the Abbots'. Bede was born probably around 673 AD and the Church of England emerged around about shortly after end of the first century AD following the spread of the Gospel throughout the Roman Empire. So I would not be exaggerating if the traditions of the mission church go back to pre-673 AD times."

"So here we are thousands of miles away from the original ancient pre-673 AD English rustic rural setting in which the English Catholic and Apostolic Church first took. Now the same church has been transplanted into God's own Swazi vineyard that lies in this beautiful valley in the foothills of the Lebombo Mountains, in an African rustic rural setting."

After this had sunk in he continued:

"Well to cut a long story short, King Henry VIII closed down all the ancient monasteries bringing an end to the monastic life in England and for about 300 years no monastic communities existed within the Church of England. Then in the 19th century round about the 1840s following the emergence of the Oxford Tractarian movement with the Anglican priest John Henry Newman a community of men started advocating the restoration of the Catholic Faith and the monastic life in England. Soon thereafter many communities of monks, friars, sisters, and nuns became established once again within the Anglican Communion after their complete abolishment from the Church of England in the wake of the Reformation. From the 1840s onwards the Church of England or Anglican religious orders for both men and women began to proliferate in the UK, USA, Canada, Asia and Africa. For example wonderful men like Trevor Huddleston came to South Africa and the Community of the Resurrection has had a positive impact on the lives of many black Christians in Southern Africa."

"Going back to the Reformation; after the Reformation hundreds of monasteries and convents were swept out of existence and as a result of this the recitation or chanting of the Divine Office was ridiculed and under the pressure of the Reformers the practice of observing the Canonical Hours or the Liturgy of the Hours especially among the lay people was eventually abandoned by Christians right across the whole of Europe and Britain. With the abandonment of the recitation of the Liturgy of the Hours the seeds for the eventual destruction of the vitality of Christian Life in Europe and England were sown. I firmly believe that the roots of secular Europe and the collapse of the Christianity in modern Europe was not entirely due to the Enlightenment or the development of Modern Science but was also an inevitable consequence of the destructive critical rip tides that flowed directly out of the Protestant Reformation. The Reformation ignited a fire that eventually burnt out of control," he said with an ironical expression on his face, "it was out of the same fires that Biblical criticism sprung up and from which the Death of God Theology of the recent past emerged."

"It seems like that the Reformation threw out the baby with the bathwater. It ended up destroying the rich fabric into which Christian life was woven, a living fabric that represented a beautifully patterned and finely textured tapestry, within which Christian life once flourished," Geraldine said after listening attentively to what Father Shaun McGreevy had said.

"You have hit the nail on the head, and that is precisely why the life and ethos of our community is centred around the Holy Eucharist, plus The Liturgy of Hours which is also known as the Divine Office or the Canonical Hours. I need to emphasize that the practice of The Liturgy of the Hours is in full accordance with the injunctions of Holy Scripture. In fact the observance of the Divine Office represents in a very practical manner a profound way of exercising real obedience to the spirit of God's Law as expounded in Holy Scripture. All our members who are under Holy Orders such as monks, nuns and clerics are obliged under the Communities mandate to celebrate and observe the Liturgy of the Hours.

"What is the Liturgy of the Hours? I am not sure what it entails?" Geraldine asked.

"Originally in the Roman Catholic Church the Liturgy of the Hours was contained in a book called the Breviary. The Breviary contains all the prescribed daily scripture readings, psalms, prayers and hymns that need to be recited, chanted or sung for each of the canonical hours. It is always preferable that the recitation of the prescribed Liturgy for each of the canonical hours be done communally rather than individually in private. Together with Mass the Liturgy of the Hours constitutes the official public life of prayer not only for this community but of the entire Church," he said.

"Are we expected to also observe the Liturgy of the Hours?" Geraldine asked.

Father McGreevy smiled. Aaron could see that he liked Geraldine. Her Christian devotion and spirituality was clearly visible in her demeanour and spontaneous attitude.

"The answer is No. But let me qualify that No. Our lay members of the community such as yourselves are under no obligation to participate in the communal celebration and observance of the Liturgy of the Hours. However, you are encouraged to voluntary observe at least some part of the Liturgy of Hours. You are particularly encouraged to participate in the daily Morning Prayer, the daily Evening Prayer, and of course the Sunday Eucharist, you should treat as compulsory with respect to your regular attendance," he said

"All the clergy and everyone under Holy Orders in our community have a mandate to celebrate the full Liturgy of the Hours. They are expected to recite the full sequence of hours each day, observing as far as possible the true time of day. As priests they are mandated to pay first and foremost to the two hinges of the liturgy of the hours, that is, the Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer, which should never be omitted except for a very serious reason," he said.

"I think I have answered most of your questions regarding Catholicism, as you can see our community may be more Catholic than the Roman Catholics," he said.

"Do have any more specific questions?" he asked smiling.

"Yes it is transubstantiation. This is our main worry as Catholics. We fear losing communion with God altogether especially if we hunger and thirst for the real body and blood of Christ but then are denied from eating his body and drinking his blood. We would be in the same situation as the hungry person who is told that he cannot really eat the dinner laid out on the table. Instead he must just apprehend it as food without having it as a meal," she said.

Father Thomas clapped his hands and burst out laughing. After he stopped laughing he became serious.

"Most Anglicans do not accept the doctrine of transubstantiation. However, having said that, many High Church Anglicans and Anglicans of the Anglo Catholic persuasion do accept transubstantiation," he said.

"What about the Mass at this mission?" Aaron asked.

"All members of the community, clergy, brothers and sisters believe in transubstantiation and the Real Presence in the Mass. So for them there is no difference between our Holy Communion and the Mass celebrated at any Catholic parish. Your hunger will be satiated and your thirst will be slackened when you kneel meekly at the communion rail on Sundays."

"We have not replaced the altar with a table nor have we replaced the sacrifice of the Mass with a commemoration of Christ's death on the cross. You cannot sacrifice on a table. There has been so much shifting of furniture in the Anglican Church. There has also been a lot of commotion from the Protestant Reformers and Catholics about altars, tables, Real Presence, symbols, sacrifices, sacraments, re-enactments, resemblances, remembrances, accidents, transformation, instantiation, and commemorations. I consecrate the bread and wine exactly as the Catholics do. We ring the bells and genuflect before the elements after each one has been consecrated. We treat the host as being sacred and holy. I personally don't believe it is necessary to exaggerate the veneration of the host, but we treat the host with profound respect and care," he said.

"Any more questions? Do you want talk more about the Mass?"

Aaron looked at Geraldine and asked "Is there anything else?"

"We are satisfied thank you," she answered, "if it is possible could you provide us with literature or a book on the Liturgy of the Hours so that I can study what the Divine Office entails and so on,"

"Certainly, I will have a look. We have quite a comprehensive library which I urge you to join and make use of," he said.

Father Shaun then got from his desk. "Okay, if that is all, let me show you the bungalow where you will be staying. Go wait for me in the reception foyer. I am just going to get the keys."

When he came back Aaron and Geraldine followed him outside. Located in a clearing surrounded by a glade of tall trees about 200 meters from the church building he pointed to a white washed rectangular building with a thatched roof. "We can drive over there in your vehicle."

At the bungalow or cottage he opened what seemed to be the back door. It faced the church complex. The door opened into an open plan lounge, dining room and kitchen area. It was about 10 meters by 5 meters. At one end was the lounge consisting of a sofa, a small carpet, a coffee table, two lounge chairs and at the other end a small kitchen with a sink, a gas stove and a gas fridge. In between the lounge and the kitchen was a large pine wooden table with six pine wooden chairs. The lounge also opened into a small east facing covered patio. A passage from the lounge led to two bedrooms, a toilet and a bathroom with a bath and shower cubicle.

Geraldine was ecstatic. It was going to be her first home.

"This will be your home. As part of your remuneration package you can view your lodging as rent free. As your saw in your contract there is no medical aid or pension. You have free lights and water. Lights come on at 6.00 pm in evening and we shut down the generator at 10.00 pm. In morning lights come at 5.00 and stay on until 7.00 am. You have to pay for the gas for the stove, fridge and for the hot water. We arrange for the collection and refilling of gas cylinders. You have to speak to Catherine if you want to refill a gas cylinder. She will organize it."

"You can get milk, eggs, butter, yoghurt, cheese, and vegetables from the mission. Any meat produced by the mission you can buy at a much discounted price."

"Can we keep our own chickens for eating?" Geraldine asked.

"Sure, you can keep a chicken coup if you want to," he answered.

"There is morning Mass at 7.00 am and an evening Mass at 7.00 pm. Saturday evenings there is a mass at 7.00 pm. On Sundays we have Mass at 7.00 am, 8.30 am and 15.00 pm. All masses are bilingual. IsiSwati and English. My IsiSwati is actually isiZulu."

He looked at Geraldine. "I understand from your qualifications that you are conversant in isiZulu."

"Yes I took two courses in isiZulu at Unisa. I can get by in IsiZulu."

"And you Aaron, can you speak isiZulu."

"I know a bit. But now I have an incentive to learn."

"Well that is all I have to say. I think I will let you unpack. When you finished you can take Geraldine to the convent. They are expecting her at 17.00. We have a room for her there. The wedding is at 10.00 am sharp tomorrow."

49

After Father Shaun had left Aaron and Geraldine inspected their new home. Geraldine was delirious with excitement. After they had unpacked all the groceries into the kitchen cupboards, Aaron set up the hi-fi system while Geraldine unpacked the clothing, toiletries, bedding.

By 14.00 they had finished with the unpacking.

"We didn't really have much stuff. It was like we had come on an extended holiday at some bungalow in a game reserve," she said.

"It has exactly that kind of feeling. Everything here reminds me of the holidays we had as kids in Kruger National Park," he said in agreement.

After boiling water on the gas stove and making a pot of tea they went outside and sat on the wire chairs on the patio. They both looked pleasantly exhausted.

"Is that shrill noise being made by cicadas?" She asked.

Aaron looked at Geraldine.

"Yes it is," he answered

It had become quite hot, and the volume and the intensity of cicadas' calls had increased to a high-pitched penetrating crescendo since they had arrived that morning.

"Will you able live in the low veld with this heat and with the constant noise of cicadas?" he asked.

"Oh yes, the heat does not bother me. Have you noticed how cool it was in the cottage compared to temperature outside here in the shade of the patio," she said.

"What about the cicadas?"

"I like the sound of the cicadas," she answered, "and have you noticed there is no pollution. I feel the congestion in my noise clearing and my ears are popping. I swear I can hear much better already."

"How do they do the produce such a loud shrill sound?"

"It is only the males that produce the shrill calling. It is actually a mating call. On the side of the first abdominal segment the adult males possess two ribbed membranes called tymbals. A contraction of a muscle attached to the tymbals causes the tymbals to buckle inwards. When the muscle relaxes the tymbal membrane makes a loud clicking sound as it snaps back. The tymbal muscles can contract and relax extremely rapidly, up to 50 contractions per second. This results in the vibration of the tymbal membrane at a very high frequency. Each tymbal membrane vibrates alternatively. The noise volume of single male cicada can reach up to a 100 decibels."

They listened to the shrill chorus of the cicadas for awhile.

"What are you thinking?" She asked.

"I was just thinking that noise of the cicadas represents the very voice of summer. Socrates in the Phaedrus talks about how wonderfully delicate and sweet the air is, throbbing in response to the shrill chorus of the cicadas, calling their singing the very voice of summer."

Geraldine burst out laughing.

"This is so funny, from a lesson in Zoology to Plato's Phaedrus, in the midday heat of a summer's day at a Swaziland mission on the eve of our wedding we are talking about the mating calls of cicadas and Plato's Phaedrus. I am convinced we going to have a very interesting life together."

"Well now that you have brought up Plato's Phaedrus," she asked after taking a sip from her tea cup, "I remember we did not finish discussing Lysias' speech. I am curious to hear once more what Lysias wrote in that speech to the beautiful teenage boy? We have hardly made much headway with Lysias' speech in Plato's Phaedrus, we constantly get side-tracked and then you promise to finish some other time; this has been going on for years." She continued to laugh until the tears ran done her cheeks.

Aaron looked amused at her outburst of mirth. He thought for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts on Plato's Phaedrus.

"OK, Phaedrus had a copy of Lysias' speech hidden under his cloak. Socrates discovers that he is hiding Lysias speech. They find a great spot next to steam where they can relax while Phaedrus reads Lysias' speech."

"Phaedrus unrolls the speech. Socrates lies down on the soft grass gazing up at the boughs of the plane tree. The cicadas are busy. In the background the murmur of the stream's running water could be heard. It was very hot even in the shade of the plane tree. Phaedrus while standing starts to read the speech. I think the opening lines of the speech go something like this 'Listen here, you understand my situation: I've told you how good it would be for us, in my opinion, if this worked out. In any case, I don't think I should lose the chance to get what I am asking for, merely because I don't happen to be in love you.' I will now give you a summary of the gist of the speech, if that is alright with you. "

Geraldine smiling broadly and eyes twinkling with mischief humour shifted about in her chair trying to get comfortable. Finally laying back with her feet propped up on a log.

"That fine with me, go ahead," she said.

"In essence, Lysias' speech compares and contrasts the different merits and disadvantages flowing from two kinds of intimate relationships that could take place between a beautiful teenage boy and an older man, who may be his tutor or school master. One is based on passionate love and the other is based on nothing else but the satisfaction of physical desire without the emotions that would usually accompany passionate love between two people. In the first kind of relationship the boy would be involved with a genuine lover. We can call this man the lover. In the second kind of relationship the boy would be involved with an older man who for the sake of definition is someone we can refer to as the non-lover. So we have too kinds of men wishing to have an erotic liaison with the boy. The lover is someone who has become emotionally involved with the boy. The lover is some who has fallen in love with boy. The non-lover wants to have an erotic liaison with the boy, but without having fallen in love with the boy."

"But both men want to have sex with the boy, is that true?" She asked

"Yes that is true. Both men are motivated by a desire for physical pleasure. Lysias in his speech argues in favour of the second kind of relationship, the one proposed by the non-lover."

"The non-lover wants sex without love and the commitment that goes with love?" She asked.

"Yes, but in reality both are equally selfishly motivated by sexual desire," he answered.

."I find this Plato stuff quite fascinating. I want to hear more. Please don't stop!"

"OK. Well basically Socrates does give an improved version of Lysias' speech without really changing the substance of the original speech. He just presents a more logically organized speech. Before he gives his first speech he does something quite strange he covers his head with his cloak. "

"Is that supposed to be funny or what? Why did he do that?"

"I think he did because he did not want to be distracted. Possibly he was also embarrassed."

"Well what did he say in his speech?"

"He actually gives two speeches. After giving the first speech he realized that has committed blasphemy by making out that love was something evil. In his second speech he delivers his famous palinode or recantation."

"Well let's hear Socrates' first speech and then if there time you can present Socrates' famous palinode," she suggested.

"He proceeds logically. For example he starts his address to the boy by first proposing that love must be fully defined. It is only after love has been defined that it becomes possible to establish whether benefits or harm can expected from love. Socrates defines love as desire for the beautiful. Love defined as the desire for the beautiful is actually called eros. In the context of Socrates' speech in Plato's Phaedrus we can use the word love and eros interchangeably in the form of the verb or noun. More specifically Socrates defines love or Eros as the desire to possess that which is beautiful. But a man not in love also desires to possess that which is beautiful. Next, all men are governed by two principles. The first is the inborn desire for the physical erotic pleasures that can be derived from possessing the beautiful body and the second is the intellectual-spiritual pursuit of the good that can be derived from the possession of the knowledge of the truth. The intellectual-spiritual pursuit of the good depends on the capacity to exercise self-control and sound judgment. The erotic pursuit of the physical object of desire involves a loss of control and a loss of sound judgment; most of the time these two principles of Eros or erotic desire are at war. Usually only one or the other prevails. So the dilemmas that love or Eros face boils down to the pursuit of sexual pleasure versus the pursuit of philosophical knowledge of the good, the true and the beautiful."

Geraldine interrupted: "Why can't it be both. Does it have to be either or. Surely the wonderful grace of God experienced in the sacrament of marriage involves both the sinless enjoyment of sexual pleasure and knowledge of the good, the true and the beautiful?"

Aaron replied: "I agree completely with you. Desire for what is physically beautiful in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. I think Plato's homosexual preoccupations make him intellectually blind to alternatives. From a strictly biological perspective the continuation of life depends on the neural-chemical circuitry of desire, attraction and attachment. In man desire results in attraction and attraction results in attachment. Attachment is often necessary for the successful rearing of progeny. Desire could alternatively be called the sex drive or even lust. Lust is pure when it is lust for one's own wife or husband. Monogamy also depends on attachment. In many birds and in man monogamy in the form of a life-long attachment is a natural occurrence. In almost all mammalian species only sex drive and attraction exists. Post-copulatory attachment is rare in most mammals. Post-copulatory attachment in humans is essential for successful reproduction."

This lesson in zoology clearly amused Geraldine: "I think you going off the topic."

Aaron agreed. "Socrates proposes that we are incapable of exercising sound judgement when desire overpowers reason. When desire takes control, the faculty of reason no longer operates, and we are at the complete mercy of our compulsions and impulses. When our drives to seek pleasure take charge over us, we cannot stop ourselves until the desire for pleasure is gratified. Socrates then goes on to make the following points. Uncontrollable desire for food leads to gluttony, and such person who cannot control his desire for food is called a glutton. Uncontrollable desire for drink leads to drunkenness, and such person is called a drunkard. The uncontrollable desire for the pleasure of beautiful human bodies is called love. "

"After Socrates has defined love he goes on to give reasons why the boy should not accept the lover's advances. Involvement in a relationship with a lover has many disadvantages for the boy. These include stunting of the boy's intellectual and spiritual development, inflicting harm on his physical development, depriving the boy of material wealth, disrupting the boy's relation with his family and friends, undermining his prospects with regard to marriage. The lover does not even give the boy pleasure. When the love eventually comes to an end the boy is dumped for another. The boy much to his shames ends up chasing after the lover. The boy discovers too late that in choosing the lover he has chosen a man that is faithless, bad-tempered, jealous, offensive, and fickle. The boy is left worse off as consequence of having a relationship with a lover. Socrates does not finish his speech. He suddenly cuts his speech short and decides to go."

"What about the soul of the charioteer in Plato's Phaedrus?" Geraldine asked.

"Ah I see you have been reading Plato's Phaedrus, you know more than you letting on," Aaron replied.

"But that does not mean I actually understand what I have read," she said laughing.

"The soul consists of a charioteer in a chariot drawn by two winged horses. One horse is white with black eyes; it has a noble nature and temperament. The other horse is black, ugly, bad natured, with grey blood shot eyes. The white horse is honourable, filled with restraint and modesty, and only seeks what is good and rational. The black horse is filled with extreme wantonness, driven by the need to gratify the charioteers desire to take pleasure from the physical beauty of his beloved. While the black horse pulls the chariot towards the object of desire, whereas the white horse pulls chariot in the opposite direction away from the object of desire towards......" Aaron looked at this watch.

"I think it is time for you to go to your party with the nuns."

50

The Wedding

Aaron woke up at 4.30 am and felt around for the torch. After boiling a pot of water on the gas stove he made himself a mug of black coffee. He felt hungry, but thought that he should not eat anything before communion. He had never eaten breakfast before Mass. In the torch light he saw Geraldine's tape recorder on the table. Shining the torch into the box of tapes he scratched around in the box looking at the cassette tape titles, and eventually found a tape with a recording of the Congolese 'Missa Luba' .

He put the tape into the tape recorder and pressed the play button. The original recording had been made in 1958 in the Katanga Province of the Belgium Congo by a Franciscan Friar from Belgium. He sipped the hot coffee and watched the sun rise to the sounds of the Kyrie, Gloria, Credo, Sanctus and Benedictus, Agnus Dei. The Greek words Kyrie Eleison means 'Lord have mercy'. The Gloria is sung after the Kyrie in the Mass. The Credo or Nicene Creed is recited or sung after the Priest's homily. The Sanctus is sung as part of the order of the Mass.

The Sanctus which comes from Isaiah 6.3 describes Isaiah's heavenly vision of the God's throne. Above the throne were seraphim's each with six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two wings they covered their feet and with two wings they were flying and they called the Sanctus to each other:

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty

Heaven and earth are full of your glory.

Hosanna in the highest.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

Hosanna in the highest.

Bells are rung continuously when the Sanctus is sung. In Isaiah's vision at the sound of the seraphim's voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. He thought of what Geraldine had said about Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture reminding her of the consecration of the Mass.

There was still gas in the cylinders so he was able to have a hot shower. After shaving he put on a white shirt, a cobalt coloured tie and a black suit. At 9.45 he sat down in the front pew behind the communion altar rail. At 9.55 the Priest told him to take up his position in front of the altar.

Through an open window on the east facing side of the sanctuary he could see in the distance some kind of carnival procession of singing and dancing Swazi women in traditional dress coming down the road towards the church. People from nowhere began to assemble in groups along the road to catch a glimpse of the procession as it passed their homesteads. Dogs barked, a rooster crowed, cattle lowed, children shouted and crows spooked-off from their perches on trees next to the road flew-off squawking loudly. Yellow bill kites wheeled above the ululating procession making trilling high pitched calls.

The Priest announced that the umthimba were on their way to the church. Aaron gathered that the umthimba must be the female bridal party. Apparently they were singing a wedding song or inkondlo. Their singing grew louder and drifted through the cool fresh morning air into the church. Aaron listened attentively as the party of joyous women approached the church. The song being sung by the women had a two part antiphonic structure. A soloist was initiating a call which was followed by a choral response. He had heard this kind of singing before. Its structure and dynamic was similar to the We Majola (hey you Majola), a working song sung on the mines. As they got closer he could hear the soloist singing the following line in a wonderful soprano voice:

Mntfwanamake sitokulahla, (My sister we have come to throw you away).

The choral response involved singing the chorus at a lower pitch:

Mtsimba lodl'emabala sibali walahleka Utawuhamba mntfwanamake (Ref. 1)

(Traditional wedding which eats with its spots, brother in-law deserted, you will go child of my mother. Interpretations: The bride like the leopard with its spots, is beautiful, and her beauty earns her benefits and favours, receiving benefits is equivalent to eating, earning benefits and favours from one's beauty is like the leopard eating its spots. Brother-in-law deserted is a metaphor for the asymmetric distribution of power, the bride comes as a foreigner with no status into the family of the bridegroom).

Aaron glanced at the priests, lay ministers and altar servers seated at their places in the sanctuary of the altar. They smiled back at him. They obviously all knew what was going on. He realized that Geraldine was up to something and everyone was in the know except him. The sounds of approaching fanfare grew louder and louder and within minutes the singing bridal party burst into the church bubbling in a froth of gaiety. Geraldine had entered the church accompanied by a singing bridal party of Swazi females. They were similarly dressed. It took him a few seconds to recognize which of the women was Geraldine. She was bare footed. She had undergone a complete transformation since he had last seen her the previous afternoon. He had been taken by complete surprise, he could barely recognize her. She wore purple eye shadow and bright red lipstick. It was the bright lipstick that helped him to distinguish her from the other dancing women. She looked like a Swazi maiden.

She was laughing and dancing, her hips swaying, her shoulders and arms moving, her feet stamping, her hands waving. As a sign of her virginity she carried a small assegai in her right hand. In her left had she carried a small cattle hide shield. Once in the church the lead singer started singing a new song, and the other women responded by singing the accompanying chorus:

Asambe mnganami siyokwendzela, Iyashis' imphama. Asambe mnganami siyokwendzel' lemphama, Iyashisa lemphama. Sengigega egumeni kabomfana, Iyashisa lemphama. Ngitowotsisa lemphama, Ngitowendzel' lemphama.........(Ref. 1)

Geraldine threw back her head, white teeth flashing brightly, she began to laugh hilariously. The Priests and lay ministers began to frown. Then they smiled. Finally they also began to laugh. The altar servers bent over holding their sides with laughter. After a while the Priest raised his hand signalling that they should stop singing that song.

Draped diagonally over her left shoulder and wrapped round her body under her right arm was a bright red rectangular print cloth made from red polyester fabric covered with black and white geometric designs. The drape was kept in place by intricate knot which had been tied just above her left breast. She was not wearing a bra. Under the drape she wore some kind of apron made from shiny black goat skin, which was draped round her right shoulder. Around her neck was some kind of beaded necklace accessory with two pendants. Under the drape she wore some kind of skirt made from black cattle hide which was tied around her waist with leather thongs. He could see protruding from the hem of the cattle hide skirt an under-skirt made of black cloth. Also around her right wrist was a white goat skin bracelet. Around her right ankle she wore an anklet made from beads and seed pods. It made a crackling sound. Her long hair had been braided and the braids had been tightly wrapped into a bee hive like structure above her head. A narrow black satin ribbon was fixed round her head at the hair line at the base of the bee hive. Red colorant had been mixed into the braids, giving her hair a reddish tint.

After the singing Geraldine stepped forward and joined Aaron at the altar rail. She transferred the small assegai to her left hand. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. She whispered 'I love you'. He answered her 'I love you too'. After the congregation settled down the Priest announced:

"Christian marriage is a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God. In the Anglican Church it is required that at least one of the parties must be a baptized Christian, and that the ceremony be attested by at least two witnesses, and lastly that the marriage must conform to the laws of the State and the canons of this Church. Aaron and Geraldine have received permission by the authorities of Swaziland to become married under the laws of Swaziland. The Bishop has given special dispensation so that Aaron and Geraldine who are Catholics in good standing, both being practicing and devout Catholics, may therefore be married in the Anglican Church, under the Anglican Rite, and receive communion in the Anglican Church. The Bishop has also given them special dispensation so that they can become members of the Anglican Church without requiring that they first be confirmed."

The Celebrant then addressed the congregation saying:

"Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honoured among all people.

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. Into this holy union Aaron Finnegan and Geraldine McNamara now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace."

Then Priest then turned to Aaron and Geraldine and said

"I require and charge you both, here in the presence of God, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, and in accordance with God's Word, you do now confess it."

The Priest, looking at Aaron asked:

"Aaron, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife; to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? "

Aaron answered: "I will."

Then looking at Geraldine the Priest asked her:

"Geraldine, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband; to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? "

She answered: "I will."

Then after a hymn, a psalm, a reading from the Old Testament, a reading from the Epistle, and a reading from the Gospel, the Priest then gave a very short homily. Following his homily the Priest came forward and stood before Aaron and Geraldine and got onto the actual business of the solemnization of their holy matrimony.

The Priest instructed them to face each and offer their right hands to each other. He then instructed Aaron to repeat after him the following marriage vow:

"I Aaron, take thee Geraldine to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I plight thee my troth."

Then turning to Geraldine she repeated after her marriage vow to Aaron:

"I Geraldine, take thee Aaron to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I plight thee my troth."

After exchanging rings, they kissed and embraced and the congregation clapped their hands. Aaron, Geraldine and the rest of congregation knelt while the Priest chanted the Eucharist in preparation for the reception of Holy Communion.

Kneeling by the altar rail they received the Anglican Holy Communion for the first time. After signing ourselves with the sign of the cross, Geraldine and Aaron stretched out their crossed palms, the open right palm spread out over the top of the open left palm, to receive the body of the Lord Jesus Christ. After receiving the wafer, the Priest brought the chalice filled with communion wine. Today on this very bright, warm and sunny Swaziland morning, on this very special and auspicious day of their marriage, the Priest holding the chalice, stood before them, and then invited Aaron and Geraldine to partake of the blood by announcing:

'The Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, which was shed for thee....'

They both drank deeply from the lowered chalice and then signed themselves gracefully with the sign of the cross.

Following the dismissal of the congregation they went with the Priest and witnesses into the vestry to complete the necessary paper work. Before they got done to business Geraldine looked at Aaron and asked:

"Well what do think of my wedding dress? Your face was a picture of astonishment. The look on your face was so funny I could not stop laughing. And the song they sang, I could not believe they would sing something like that, especially within a church. Together with the look on your face and the song, I could not contain myself. I just prayed 'please Lord forgive me, I know this is your house and this is a very holy and sacred occasion.' Anyway it was such an amazing ceremony, such a wonderful experience I could not have dreamt of a better wedding, and I love my outfit."

Aaron could see that Geraldine was eager to hear his comments about her outfit. He replied:

"You really blew me over. I never expected it. It was very creative of you. You look so amazing."

She replied: "It was not really my idea. The nuns put me up to it. I will tell everything later. I think they want us to finish with the paper work."

They went over to the desk and filled in our all details on the forms and signed the various documents. Geraldine officially became Mrs Geraldine McNamara Finnegan, the wife of Aaron Finnegan.

Outside under a large Acacia tree the tins of assorted biscuits that they had brought for the wedding reception had been opened. Gleaming silver tea pots filled with steaming hot tea had been placed on the table. People were lining up to pour tea into their cups; others were filling their side plates with biscuits.

One of the nuns came over to Aaron and Geraldine, she began to speak to Aaron:

"So what do think of Geraldine's traditional Swazi bridal attire? See how nicely we have made her hair look like a bee hive, this is the hair style is for married women, it is called sicholo and this ribbon that we put at the bottom of the bee hive is called intsambo. This cloth we draped over her left should is called a lihiya and this skin under the lihiya is goat skin. Feel how soft it is. We call it the sidziya. The skirt is made from cow hide it is called sidvwaba and the under-skirt, which you see sticking out at bottom is called sidvwashi."

She grasped Geraldine's forearm: "This white goat skin round her right wrist is called siphandla and you can see round her right ankle she is wearing a lifahlawane. Look you can see that all the other women are wearing the lifahlawane on both ankles."

She pointed to Geraldine's beaded necklace and pendants. "Can you guess what this is called? It is called a love letter in English. In Isiswati it is called a ligcebesha."

Aaron looked at Geraldine: "How did you manage to get the outfit and organize all of this."

She answered: "It was not my idea. It was Sister Busisiwe's idea. They asked me about my wedding dress and when I told them I was going to wear my white confirmation dress. She then asked why don't I dress up as Swazi bride. I thought it was a wonderful idea. When I agreed she organized everything. Within hours they had organized a full outfit for me. They wanted to give it but I insisted on paying for it."

A curious crowd gathered round them listening to the conversation. One of the woman asked Aaron: "Why did you not also get dressed up?"

Everyone burst out laughing.

Reference.

  1. Nonhlanhla Dlamini. 2009. Power, sexuality and subversion in lutsango and siswati traditional wedding songs. MA dissertation. Chapter 2, pages 28 to 29 and Chapter 3, pages 55 to 56. (https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Power%2C-sexuality-and-subversion-in-Lutsango-and-Dlamini/afa9c33d405cacfeaa8cefb61eb8887499661913)

