
- UM, ALABAMA.
OOH.
I PUT TOO MUCH OF THAT
IN THE GLASS.
- IT WAS A LITTLE MUCH.
- [coughs and burps]
HELLO.
TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALK
ABOUT PERCY JULIAN,
ONE OF THE GREATEST SCIENTISTS
TO EVER LIVE.

PERCY JULIAN WAS BORN
IN MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA, IN 1899.
SO THAT MEANT HE WAS GROWING UP
AS A KID
IN JIM CROW SEGREGATION LAND.
EVEN THOUGH
IT WAS A HUGE OBSTACLE,
HE WAS ABLE
TO ESCAPE INTO PLANTS.
THAT SOUNDS SO DUMB
WHEN I SAY IT.
- NO, SOUNDS GREAT.
- HE SAID,
LOOK AT THESE PLANTS.
THERE'S A WHOLE LABORATORY
INSIDE THESE THINGS.
I JUST WANT TO UNLOCK
ALL THE HEALING QUALITIES
OF ALL THESE PLANTS AND THINGS.
LITTLE PERCY DECIDED,
I WANT TO BE A SCIENTIST.

HE GOT ACCEPTED
TO DEPAUW UNIVERSITY IN INDIANA.
HE THINKS, THIS IS GONNA BE
SO MUCH DIFFERENT
THAN MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA,
AND ALL THE SEGREGATION THERE.
HE GETS THERE, BLACK STUDENTS
ARE BANNED FROM CAMPUS,
UH, LIVING ON CAMPUS.
HE FINALLY FINDS A FRATERNITY
THAT ALLOWS HIM TO LIVE
IN THEIR BASEMENT
IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING
THEIR BUTLER, AND THEY'RE LIKE,
CAN YOU MAKE US
SOME HOT DOGS?
YEAH, I GUESS I'LL MAKE YOU
SOME HOT DOGS.
I'M ONLY TRYING TO [bleep]
BE A SCIENTIST HERE.
WE DON'T CARE.
CAN YOU MAKE US A PIZZA?
YEAH, I'LL MAKE YOU A PIZZA.
I'M ONLY [bleep] TRYING TO GET
MY GODDAMN DEGREE.
WE DON'T CARE.
BUT AT THAT TIME,
IN THE UNITED STATES,
NO ONE WOULD ALLOW
A BLACK MAN TO...
GET THEIR PhD.
SO HE GOES TO VIENNA, AUSTRIA.
HE'S LIKE,
THIS PLACE IS AMAZING.
I MEAN, WE'RE DOING
REAL WORK HERE, GUYS.
CARBONS AND HYDROGENS,
OXYGENS AND CARBUTRONS,
AND THAT'S MOLECULES FOR YOU.
HE WRITES HOME,
AND HE SAYS, THIS IS--
THIS PLACE IS AMAZING,
AND I'M KIND OF A BADASS HERE.
LIKE, LADIES LIKE ME.
THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY.
I'LL SAY A LITTLE BIT MORE.
I'VE HAD SEX
WITH SOME PEOPLE HERE,
AND THEY WEREN'T ALL
RACIALLY RACIST AND STUFF.
I DON'T WANT TO GET
INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL.
I'VE PENETRATED MANY WOMEN.
ALL THE BEST, PERCY.
THOSE LETTERS WOULD COME BACK
TO HAUNT HIM LATER.
- [chuckles]
NO.
- YES.

PERCY'S BACK IN AMERICA,
AND HE'S LIKE, AH, YEAH,

I'M [bleep] BACK FROM VIENNA.
I GOT MY PhD.
NO BIG DEAL.
LET'S JUST KEEP DOING
SOME SCIENCE, GUYS.
AND THEN HIS BOSS,
THE PRESIDENT
AT HOWARD UNIVERSITY,
IS LIKE, NO, NO, NO.
ALL THOSE LETTERS
THAT YOU WROTE
ABOUT ALL THOSE BABES YOU WERE
HOOKING UP WITH IN VIENNA?
THIS IS VERY EMBARRASSING
TO HOWARD UNIVERSITY,
SO WE NEED YOU TO RESIGN,
AND PERCY'S LIKE, WHAT?
THESE WERE PERSONAL LETTERS!
AND HE'S LIKE, THERE'S A LOT
OF "OPPORTUNITITIES"--
"OPPORTUNITITIES"?
[laughs]
[bleep] YOU GUYS, I GUESS.
HE'S A MAN WITHOUT A JOB,
SO HE HAS NOWHERE TO GO.
THIS GUY WILLIAM O'BRIAN--WHO'S
A VICE PRESIDENT OF GLIDDEN,
A PAINT COMPANY--
HE'S LIKE, THIS IS ABSURD.
THIS IS CRAZY.
THIS GUY IS A GENIUS.
I'M GONNA HIRE THIS GUY TO BE
THE DIRECTOR OF RESEARCH
IN OUR LABORATORY.
SO PERCY AND HIS TEAM WERE
STUDYING SOYBEANS IN THE LAB.
THEY'RE GOING,
THIS MOLECULE
GOES TO THIS MOLECULE,
AND THEN BOOM,
AND THEN WE HAVE THIS MOLECULE
THAT'S GOING TO THIS MOLECULE,
AND THEN BOOM.
WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
SO HE'S WORKING
ALL THIS STUFF.
SO ONE TIME,
PERCY'S IN HIS LAB.
HE FOUND OUT THERE HAD BEEN
AN ACCIDENT, AND HE WAS LIKE,
OH, [bleep].
OH, [bleep].
SOME WATER GOT
INTO THIS 100,000-GALLON TANK
OF SOYBEAN JUICE.
I'M IN [bleep] TROUBLE.
AND HE NOTICES THESE CRYSTALS
ON THE SIDE OF THE TUB,
AND HE REALIZES,
I JUST MADE STEROIDS
FROM A SOYBEAN.
AT THAT TIME, THEY WERE GETTING
STEROIDS FROM, LIKE, HORSE PISS.
EVERYBODY WAS LIKE,
WHOA, PERCY JUST MADE
PROGESTERONE OUT OF A BEAN.
HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO, LIKE,
USE A HORSE DICK FOR THAT.
THERE'S ONLY
SO MANY HORSE DICKS.
THERE IS, LIKE,
A MILLION SOYBEANS,
UH, PER EVERY ONE HORSE DICK,
OKAY?

PERCY STARTS MAKING
MILLIONS OF DOLLARS

BECAUSE OF THIS.
HE'S ABLE TO HELP
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE,
WITH THINGS FROM ARTHRITIS,
GLAUCOMA, BIRTH CONTROL,
AND HE WAS A ROLE MODEL
TO MANY OTHER AFRICAN-AMERICANS
AFTER HIM.
HE CREATED
SO MUCH GODDAMN STUFF,
I CAN'T EVEN LIST
ALL THE STUFF HE CREATED,
BECAUSE THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME
ON THE SHOW,
BUT CAN I JUST, LIKE--
CAN YOU JUST SCROLL A LIST
OF ALL THE STUFF HE CREATED?
- YEAH, WE CAN--
- BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE
THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY.
- JUST WHILE YOU'RE TALKING?
- I CAN'T--I DON'T HAVE--
I CAN'T,
BUT I HOPE YOU'RE SEEING
THE LIST
OF ALL THE STUFF HE CREATED,
BECAUSE IT'S INSANE.
IT'S, LIKE, A LOT OF STUFF.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.
- [laughs]
