 
LEAVING I BEHIND

Following Your Path from Selfish to Selfless

Book Five

Copyright: 2003

By: K. C. Boone, MSFE

Publisher: The Scribed Light

ISBN: 978-1-939634-23-8

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced in any form, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without permission in writing from the author or publisher.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 - The Fork In The Road

Chapter 2 - The Journey Takes On A New Light

Chapter 3 - Boredom

Chapter 4 - Creating Your Life

Chapter 5 - One For All And All For One

Chapter 6 - Walking In The Light

Chapter 7 – Growing In The Light

Chapter 8 - Living The Dream

Chapter 9 - A Higher Purpose

Chapter 10 - The Leap Of Faith

Chapter 11 - Unconditional Love

Chapter 12 - Just As I Am

Chapter 13 - The New You

Chapter 14 - Where Do We Go From Here

Conclusion

Bibliography

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my Mother. Your contributions are without end and your words of wisdom provide inspiration always.

Acknowledgment

This book demonstrates the importance of selflessly serving others. Much of what I have learned is from those who have selflessly given of their time and talents to offer guidance for those of us who follow after them, even if the paths are not the same.

It is by their example that we are strengthened and inspired to start and continue on the journey to our true selves. Without their gifts, our journeys would be filled with even more unanswered questions and trepidation. By their example, we follow knowing that the journey is one of great discovery and excitement.

Introduction

Every decision creates another set of choices. You have arrived at yet another crossroad and have to choose your next direction. You carefully analyze the choices and ponder the consequences and experiences associated with each choice. You seek guidance and internal direction. You know that the next step will be a big one and you are not about to make the choice lightly. You are going to take your time – your next move will put you on the path to greater wisdom than ever before. You realize the enormity of the decision, but look at all possibilities. You imagine yourself on both paths and realize that only one path will bring you what you truly desire.

You make your choice and go forward. You know that you will never be the same and that your life is headed toward the direction inspired by your soul. You hesitate to consider where you have been and how far you have come. The experiences of the past have brought you to this point and will help carry you forward. Choosing to proceed and not retreat will bring you the joy and happiness that you have sought and have been previously unable to find.

The road ahead will be wonderful and exciting. You like a challenge and are ready to get started. The uncertainty ahead brings to the surface emotions that you haven't felt in years. The anticipation is causing you to feel as if you'll leap out of your skin. You can't wait to know what the future holds. You wish that you could be magically transported to the next level without having to earn the lesson, but you know that you'd miss something vitally important to the whole picture.

The days of guessing about what lies ahead are gone and the days of experiencing the fullness of life are soon to be realized. The future is now and you are on the road to creating what will move from now to then. The future quickly becomes history when we move toward the light. You can't see the future while focused on the past, so you are seeing nothing but possibilities and creation. Creativity is in the future not in the past. You realize that you have a tremendous impact on your life and the lives of others, and are ready to make the best possible contributions of effort to both.

With your dreams clearly in your view, you see that there is nothing standing in the way of all that you desire. Let the journey continue.

Chapter 1 - The Fork in the Road

Your soul's journey has taken you to the point where you realize that you are a part of the very one and only God. You have come to the fork in the road, where you take what you've learned so far and choose to go forward toward greater spiritual maturity or choose to languish in what you've learned for a while. This is a difficult choice, but a very important choice as it will determine all the other choices that you make from this point forward.

Let's take a look at the choices and imagine the possibilities of each. First, if we choose to languish in our learning and expand our experiential knowledge of the lessons, then we can find a depth of maturity. By spending some time gaining further experience, we can become more firm in the foundations of the lessons learned. For instance, if we learn to be kind, we can get the minor experience or the major experience. The minor experience is just enough to bring an understanding of the concept for our practical use. The major experience brings forth more experiences, which give us a far greater understanding of the concept. If I choose to only experience love once, then I do have an understanding of the concept. If I choose to love more than once, then the understanding grows to new levels, which offer me the opportunity to experience love in many more ways. (The categories of minor and major are just for simplification and in no way relate to the quality of the experiences.)

The alternative is to take what you've learned and proceed to the next lesson on the path to spiritual maturity. If you are satisfied that you have enough knowledge to proceed, then perhaps the next lesson will offer you greater insight into higher elements of love. If I choose to experience the love of the spirit, then this brings to light another entirely different element of love and can bring profound learning and spiritual experiences. This will change our focus from feeling love or being loved to actually loving as God does. This will take us on a path of seeing love as God does – not for what we receive, but for the beauty of giving. We imagine that we can love as God does, but we really don't even have a clue.

So, what's it going to be? Which path will you take? You search your soul for the direction that it gives. Your instincts are to progress as you feel confident that you have learned the lesson previously taught. So you choose to take the road sure to be filled with greater unknowns and more uncertainty. Every new experience causes us to be nervous, but you know deep inside that your path must proceed in the direction of increased maturity. You muster the courage to proceed, envision the path ahead and take the first step. You ask for God's guidance all along the path, knowing that only He can give you what you need to experience fully the desires of your soul.

You are increasingly aware of the reduction of your own self importance. As you progress, you see yourself becoming dimmer and your influence of others becoming brighter. You are starting to walk in the light of God. Your path is one of great discovery and inspiration. Your greatest discovery is that you realize more and more that you are not here for your own purposes, but are the messenger for the common good. You walk in the light of the knowledge that your selfishness can no longer guide your path. You see that you are but a cog in the wheel of the greater good. You see yourself as the carrier of the wisdom. You see yourself as a purveyor of God's love and wisdom.

This is disturbing to you. You can't seem to let go of what has always been, yet you see how it is foolish to cling to things that only bring selfish pleasures. You struggle to see the totality of the All, while still living in the past. You struggle and find yourself caught as if between two worlds. You begin to ask the questions that you never even imagined. You think first of the effect of your actions before being so bold as to take any actions. What are my motives? Have I chosen selfishly? Who is to gain by what I now do? Am I fulfilling my purpose with the actions that I take? A new person is starting to emerge from the old skin of the past. You see yourself shedding layers of self that have for so long been your primary focus. You begin to see people for the souls they are. You begin to see behavior as an expression of the person and not as the person.

Just as God sees us as the souls that we are, we begin to see behavior as it is. We see that behavior is a person's actions which come forth in response to some inner thoughts. We suddenly understand that all are just souls trying to make the most of the experience of life. Whether the behavior is liked or disliked, it is simply behavior and we are not to judge the choices of others. We behave as we do based on years of experience just as others do the same. We cannot see the reasons behind the behaviors, so our efforts to understand will fail if we focus on the behavior and not the person. If we understand that everyone is a soul seeking to live their lives to the fullest, we begin to see that we are really no different from all others. In this way, we begin to see that we are a part of the All just as everyone is.

Once we understand that we are part of the All, then we begin to realize that the purpose of the All is far greater than anything we can ever imagine. Living to fulfill my selfish purpose keeps me on the fringe of the All, and never lets me inside for the greater sight of the All. We are part of the All that is God. We can choose to be closer or further away, and both choices are ok. If we see that the selfish purpose is no longer fulfilling, then we move ourselves outside of ourselves and begin to see that we are drawing nearer the center of it all.

Imagine that we are hanging out on the outer circles of the world – detached and selfish choosing to satisfy the basic needs of our own desires. Until we choose to move closer to the center, we will remain where we are and will continue to live for the I without making any progress toward the center. By choosing to let go of I, we take a magic leap inward and begin to see things outside of ourselves. In much the same way that a baby learns he is not all there is, we begin to realize that we are not the very purpose of life. Our desires are not the reason that God created the universe. If we are to obtain oneness with God, we must let go of self and move toward the All.

The All sounds very ominous and mysterious. It is very intriguing to imagine that everything comes together at a single point if we choose to look deeply enough. The world was not created for the purpose of one, but for the All. Realizing our full potential to affect the All brings forth a new life experience and focus far different from any previously imagined. We always knew that there was the All, but never really gave much thought to it. It was beyond our comprehension, and thinking about it didn't seem to serve a purpose. We never even imagined the vastness of our own actions just within our inner circle, much less the overall effects on the All. Just as a baby has no concept for his affecting the lives of others, he merely focuses on self and how others can affect his life.

Spiritual maturity, just as physical maturity, brings a new insight that takes our focus away from self. There are many layers of spiritual maturity and honestly, I can't even begin to understand even one or two at this point. I am learning as I go that there is far more to God than I ever dared imagine. It seems that the more that I think I know, the less I really do, in the grand scheme. All that I really know is that my quest to know more is real, and causes me to seek to know as much as I can absorb. This life may only offer me two or three layers, but even if I only get three, then I will be in a far greater place than I was when I began this life. I use the analogy of layers, as it is how I see that spirituality unfolds.

The image of the Milky Way galaxy and the alignment of the planets around the sun is an image that I view as being similar to how we revolve around God. Maybe the revolving or the actual layout is different, but it does offer a simple analogy for me to grasp. If we use this analogy and assume that the planet's distance from the sun is equivalent to our spiritual maturity, with oneness being the center, on which planet would you imagine that you currently reside? If we assume that Pluto is the basic level of spirituality as it is the farthest from the sun (as far as we know,) then we assume that all souls start on Pluto and progress toward the sun. How many lifetimes does it take to get to the sun? I'm sure that I don't know, but at the rate of my current progression, I think that perhaps it will be many.

I would imagine that spiritual masters are much closer to the sun. Maybe masters live on Venus or Mercury. Maybe spiritual guides are closer. I really have no idea at this point and all the levels of attainment, so I won't speculate any further, lest my imagination run absolutely wild. At this point, we'll assume that we are on the outskirts of the action, based on the level of our current exploration. What does it take for me to move inward toward the center? It occurs to me that the center is the All, so I must leave I behind and move ever near the All. If I drop the I at Pluto, do I magically jump over to the next planet and live there for a while? Are there levels of leaving I that must be achieved before we jump to the next planet? At what point have I sufficiently left the I behind, so that I proceed to the next level? As you can see by my examples, I am very goal oriented and must see things as levels of achievement progressing toward goal attainment. It works for me and I hope that it works for you also. We communicate what we understand and not necessarily what is most correct. If my example is not working for you, picture your own example and feel free to let your imagination run wild.

The three steps that I see so far in my spiritual maturity are these: Finding God; knowing God; and Being God. (Don't get so freaked out – being God means fully realizing that you are a part of the whole and not desirous of taking over the world.) Certainly, there are more layers, but I haven't seen enough to further differentiate them. I'm certain that there are more, such as being God partially and being God fully. Being God, in theory, is lower than being God partially, but is higher than hearing about being God. Wow, we can make a hundred layers just with a simple effort. There may be thousands or more or less, I just don't know.

I was slipping around watching TV last night. PBS's NOVA was presenting a documentary about string theory called THE ELEGANT UNIVERSE. At first thought, it sounds very basic. Upon learning a little more about the concept, I was blown away by the complexities of life that some people contemplate. If you want to know that you live on a different level than a physicist, check out some info on string theories. Apparently, research has been going on for years and I have been totally out of the loop. Imagine that? The String Theory suggests that there are eleven dimensions instead of the three that we know. It blows our mind to imagine that there are more than three dimensions. If we imagine that God works in infinite dimensions, then we are further away than we first suspected. I think that God likes to keep me in the knowledge that I have with very little understanding, so that I will be ever challenged to learn more.

If we know that our world, as we know it, consists of only three dimensions, then we may find that we are missing out on much that life has to offer. If we limit God's potential to the level of our understanding, then we have limited our own potential as well. If you suddenly became aware that spirits are next to you seen only in another dimension, by limiting the possibilities you assume that you will never see angels. What if we can experience other dimensions? This is by no means the presumption that we can; let's just imagine that there are other dimensions and that we seek to experience them. We typically associate such things with psychics and such. We don't really think that such things are possible, but there are those who do. What if we are missing out on the grandest of opportunities to experience angelic presences just because of our narrow minded view of life? I would be highly upset to learn that I had short changed my experiences just because I refused to see outside the known.

If we see things as described by Deepak Chopra in THE SPONTANEOUS FULFILLMENT OF DESIRE, then we see that our potential as ethereal atomic creations is without bounds. We know that we are made of atoms, but we just can't see that we are not really real, as our eyes see. We passed the biology quiz, but we fail to apply the knowledge to our reality. We tend to believe that we have no need to use such knowledge, so we limit our potential by the presumption of uselessness. Think back to STAR TREK and how Scotty beamed them to and fro. If we know that we are simply atoms, then this is possible, isn't it? If we assume that our atoms combine with all other atoms, then we truly are part of the whole. If we are simply different combinations of the same atoms, then how are we really different or unique? Seeing ourselves as less than totally unique is very disconcerting to all that we believe about ourselves and the world. If we look at the atomic level, then we really do leave the I behind.

What purpose does it serve to consider such things? For me, it lets me see that I am not the living wonder that I once supposed. Seeing myself as an atomic mass motivated by soul is a rather interesting perspective, which puts me more in touch with the All. I guess at this point, it's fun to think about, but doesn't serve us best until we are ready to absorb the full understanding.

A more modest approach at this point is to begin the journey without from within. After realizing your soul's desires, then you begin your quest to fulfill the desires. On the path to fulfillment, you begin to see that you are not the center of attention any more. You start to see things from a new perspective. You start to see yourself as influential in the purpose of the All. You begin to focus on your motives and behaviors which will combine with the motives and behaviors of others to create the combined will that moves the world. You begin to see that love is all that is important and that your every action should be a reflection of love. You start to relearn your life, seeing it as beneficial to others not just self. When once you thought that your purpose was to make a living and take care of your family, now you are starting to realize that there is much more to life than just existing.

Your shift in focus becomes evidenced in your every action. You start to become more insightful and mellow. You start to behave more consistently and with greater kindness than you have ever shown. You begin to realize that simply being kind to a person is the greatest thing that you can do. You make every human interaction one that counts. You begin to focus on the things that really matter and begin to move away from meaningless pursuits. Your life is slowly transforming into something that is one step closer to God. You begin to feel as if you have placed your priorities in all the wrong places. You start to envision your life as a reflection of God who created you. You begin to see through eyes that bring forth a whole new perspective. How could you have been so blind? How did you miss this earlier?

When we look at things outside ourselves, we start to live with a purpose of love and peace. We consider the thoughts and feelings of others, instead of judging others by their behavior. We begin to know that a loving gesture is never wasted, and if we only give love then there is nothing more to give. How grand is our new view of life and how glad are we that we have found this new path to follow? Words can't describe it and experience is the only way to know the feeling. How grand it must be for God to know that He is love and continually gives love to those whom He loves? Perhaps this may sound a little out there for you, but with each step and experience, the realization brings forth major joy and happiness.

How we love to see the sparkle in a child's eyes on Christmas morning. This is how I imagine God's delight at seeing us realize His love. Seeing His love reflected by our actions is God's greatest delight. It is then that God's love is fully realized.

Chapter 2 - The Journey Takes On A New Light

When we first begin to realize that we are no longer the center of attention we begin to realize also that we are the makers of what we choose to be. We start to see that it is not God who makes us what we are, but it is us who are the creators. This is very unnerving to those of us who have believed our entire lives that God is the creator and the cause of all things according to His will. Realizing that God is the ultimate creator or the source of everything keeps things in perspective. As a parent creates a child but does not create the life's experience for the child, such is how God's creativity works. God created each of us with free will, and turns us loose to create the experiences that we desire.

Realizing that God's will for us is that we experience our lives according to our own free will is very liberating. If I choose to do this or that, then I simply need to pursue that goal. If this is so, then why haven't I won the lottery when I have chosen to win the lottery? This is part of the new lessons that we must learn. If winning the lottery would fulfill our ultimate desires and purposes, then winning the lottery would be assured. If winning the lottery is not in our own best interests, then we will not win. Why do some win and others do not? Isn't winning the lottery simply a random selection? If you believe that life is merely a random compilation of unlinked occurrences, then why would we even consider that God exists at all? If we are certain that something controls everything, then God starts to fit into the picture. God does not care if we believe in Him or not. God wishes for everyone to have what they desire to reach the ultimate outcome which is assured before we started.

We have examined earlier that our lives have a purpose and our purpose is decided before we are born. Our souls within us create the overall picture of our lives based on the experiences that each chooses to experience. If we think that our lives are simply a sequence of random acts which we stumble across daily, then our life's purpose cannot be seen in the chaos of randomness. If we see that all things work together in an overall plan of action, then we can start to see how all things work to serve the soul's purpose for all souls.

If we think that we are simply ships tossed about by the sea, and many of us do based on our religious upbringing, then we are powerless in the creation of our lives. If we know that our desires ultimately are manifested in our life's reality then we know that our every action is an act of creation. If you take a look at your life to date, do you see a pattern formed by the desires that you have had? Do you remember wanting something that you now have? Do you ever get the feeling that what you wanted and got is not as great as you thought it would be?

If you think back to even the simple things that you have wanted, haven't you basically gotten what you wanted? You may have wanted a Ferrari, but got a Corvette instead. You may have wanted a college degree, but didn't want to put forth the effort. You may have wanted to get married and have children. Granted, you never expected that having children would change everything else in your life, but you got the marriage and the children. Sometimes when we desire things, we forget to realize that there are consequences associated with them. I don't ever remember thinking about having children and being glad that dirty diapers were part of it. I don't remember thinking that getting a good job meant that my personal life would suffer so much. I never guessed that finding love would bring such heartache.

My shortsightedness and the realization of its reality, does put things in a new light. If winning the lottery brings only misery, then do I really want to win it? You ask if it is possible that winning the lottery could bring misery. You know that it can. Sudden wealth can separate friends and family and turn you into the worst sort of greedy monster imaginable. Money can take over our lives with lightening speed. Suddenly, you forget about all of those who helped you over the years, and you are focused on #1 and getting all that you deserve. The reality is that you may find yourself without friends or family, and the joy of not having to work can cause you to suffer the worst sort of loneliness imaginable.

We must look past the obvious and dig a little deeper. Our soul could not possibly care if we win the lottery. The soul does not care if we live or die, but that we experience what we came to experience. The soul wishes for us to experience life to the fullest. The soul wants for us what we can give it – experiences. The soul knows all about God and what happens after life. The soul knows also that without the physical body, it will never experience physical love or heartache. The soul understands emotions, but cannot feel them. God uses us for the same purpose. We are His feelings and emotions experientially. We must know that our lives are not lived for any other purpose than to experience. Once we realize this, we do literally walk in a new light.

We have all imagined that our purpose is to invent something great for mankind. We see our physical lives as our purpose, and that all we are and have to give has to be given on earth. We don't want to waste time; we have to get busy serving our purposes, so that we can make the world a better place to live. Really, how many people actually affect the world or its population? How many people have obviously missed the boat if their purpose was to contribute to humanity? I'm guessing that I have wasted some time already, and I had better get my act together quickly. Time is running out and I haven't accomplished a thing for the world. The pressure is on. Once I realize that very few persons actually do make a difference in this world, I can relax and start to live my life. If my purpose is to make some monumental change in the world, then I cannot avoid it. If my purpose is more modest, then why not relax and enjoy the path I'm on?

Once you know that you are not going to save the world, especially since no one has, you can slow down and take a more realistic view of life. Ok, so is my purpose merely to affect those few persons around me? Am I to make a modest contribution to society? Does it really matter what I do as long as I am happy doing it? Actually, it is only when you are happily doing what you choose to do that you are really making an impact. All of those times spent doing things not of your choosing are actually meaningless to you and to others. You have the experience, but you have not gained from it. You have experienced going to the grocery store, but you have not grown from it. You have experienced love and have grown from it. There are different types of experiences and it is the more meaningful ones that we should strive to learn the most from.

We all have to go to the grocery store, so don't waste so much time mulling over the issue. We all have to eat, so don't knock yourself out imagining the possibilities. We all have to do what we have to do, so don't waste mental energy needlessly. Let's focus on the spiritual desires that bring us what our bodies are here to obtain.

Your spiritual purpose always involves helping others, so look deeply within to determine what you truly desire to be. Allow your soul to guide you through your feelings. Often, we do not get in touch with our true selves because it seems irrational. We think we are crazy for wanting to live our dreams, until we realize that those who are truly satisfied with life are those who have a clear vision of their truest desires and dreams. Put aside your thinking about what you should do, and focus on what you really want to do for others. Know that you have a purpose, it involves helping others and that you realize that living this is the only thing that will make you happy.

Take the time to know yourself. Don't you remember those times when you felt as if you were on a higher plane and felt in touch with your truest self? These times are very rare especially if we are out of contact with our selves. Remember those times that you felt the best about what you were doing and how others were better off for your having done whatever it was that you did. Think of the times when you were so happy that you were brought to tears for no reason. Think of how great it felt when you were truly being yourself. It is odd, in order to fully experience yourself, that you must leave yourself behind. This is not to say that you are not a part of the plan, but that your perspective has changed so that you have a different focus. Leaving I behind is simply changing your motives from self serving to serving the common good.

We all secretly want to be rich. Why? Do we all want cars and houses and international travel? Not necessarily – what we want is freedom to choose what we want to do. It's really not the money, but the freedom that it gives us to do what we choose. Think about it – you may have no desire to buy jewelry, but you love to be able to have the means to do so if you choose. You may not want to work, so having the financial means to be able to live without working is the answer to your problem. Freedom of choice is something that seems to defy us at every turn. We want this or that, but never seem to get what we want, because we don't have the resources.

When we look inside and find that our truest happiness comes from serving others, for example by helping the poor, we can then decide at all levels that we are going to do this no matter what. Surely, you don't know how, but you trust that where there is a will, there is a way. So, you make the conscious choice to live to help the poor. You pray for guidance and you feel led to volunteer at the homeless shelter in your spare time. No, you won't make a living at the homeless shelter much less get rich, but you will get in touch with the very core of your being – your soul's desire.

Ok, so you are now on the road. You are learning to experience the joy of helping the poor. The more time that you spend helping others, the more time you feel compelled to do so. It becomes your obsession and your passion. You can barely stand to be at your regular job as you only want to be helping others. Your entire focus changes slowly and your desire to help the poor rises to the top.

You begin to realize that your life as you know it is unfulfilling and empty of purpose. You start to meet people who feel as you do and you are further inspired to serve your God given purpose. The fire burns brightly within and soon nothing can put out the flames. You want nothing more than to serve your purpose and your mind races to find new and better ways to do more and better things to help the poor. Soon, you have left your old job as you have found a great new job working with the poor. Wow, you never knew that life or work could be so fulfilling. You are amazed that you didn't figure this out before. Where was your head?

Suddenly, all manner of dream fulfillment and realization are your reality. You had no idea that such things were possible. Before long, you are filled with happiness and are walking as if on a cloud of spiritual fulfillment. You no longer worry about bills or jobs or stress. Your focus is now on helping the poor and nothing else warrants your efforts. You have to force yourself to do the mundane things like grocery shopping. You have to keep one foot on the ground, so that you can still live your life to the fullest. You are a part of the picture, so don't leave I so far behind that you forget to eat. Leaving I behind is a way of looking at the big picture and having your life automatically gravitate toward your dream fulfillment.

Choosing what makes you happy and living as if nothing else matters is how you achieve your spiritual fulfillment. If you take the time to talk yourself out of your dreams, then you will never know what it is like to live your dreams. Think of all of those who are living their dreams. They were sure at a very early age of what it was that they wanted, and knew instinctively what was the path of their happiness. They didn't stop until they achieved their life's goals. You may not know the how, but surely you know the what. You may have pressed your desires so far into the background that you can no longer touch them, so you have to take the time to reconnect with your truest desires.

We spend our lives living with regrets for not having done what it is that we most wanted to do as children. Our happiness lies in those places that often seem the farthest out of reach. We put aside our desires for the practical. I remember William Shatner talking about his parents encouraging him to get a degree in accounting, as acting was not a reliable source of income. I can relate and do have an accounting degree just as William does. He didn't stop with the accounting degree and I think that most of us are glad that he didn't. STAR TREK would not have been the same without him and I know that he brought me many hours of entertainment over the years. So, put yourself in William's shoes – I don't know how, but I'm going to try. He knew what he wanted and he didn't stop until he got it.

I was rereading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD, BOOK ONE last night and I came across something that made me laugh out loud. Neale was whining about not being successful. He told God that he wanted to be successful. God told him that when he says, "I want success," the universe replies, "Okay, you do." God was making the point that wanting something will not make it happen. Saying that you want something is at that point very true – you want and continue to want. How do we get from want to have? That's what Neale really asked? God gave him some very complicated answers which still have me scratching my head, but basically He said that we must say what we have, rather than that we want. He goes on to explain that asking for something is a sure sign that you don't have what you want. Thanking God for something is a statement that you have what you have. God told Neale that "I am" is the most powerful statement in the universe.

Saying with full belief that you are what you want to be is more powerful than saying what you want with no belief that you can ever have it. Think about this. This falls in line with the being versus doing instructions given by God to Neale. I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about this and have found that it makes perfect sense. When we sit around and whine about what we don't have, then surely we don't have it. When we sit around with confidence stating what we have, then surely we do have it, or know that it is on the way. You will never be rich sitting around thinking that you aren't rich. This we do often and are no closer to being rich than when first we had that thought. After 43 years of not being rich, I still am not rich. Changing our vision of our lives is the first step to realizing what we want. If I want to be rich, then I must first believe that I can be and will be.

If I go to college with the thought that I can never graduate, then surely I won't. I shouldn't even waste my time attending. If I go to college with the assurance that I can and will graduate, then I know that I will. This is not to say that I can graduate without putting forth effort, as I surely must. But the confidence in knowing that I can and will graduate gives me the courage to enroll in college and give it my best effort. This is the same as with all of life. If I feel that I will never be loved, then surely I won't. If I feel that I can and will be loved, then surely I will. Why does this make a difference? God says that it all has to do with letting the universe know what is in your reality, so that it will be added to your reality. This subject gets a little complicated, but makes sense if you think about it long enough.

Simply put, we are all one with God and everything works together at the lowest level. Nothing exists except at the lowest level of the particles which make up everything. Everything is shaped by energy and thoughts are creative energy. If you see particles joining together to form your thoughts into reality, then you get a slight glimpse of the process. It is not a simple matter of matter – it is a matter of energy creating matter. If you realize that you are pure energy created matter, then your high school biology comes back to your memory, and you suddenly realize that you are mostly water just as everything else is and that water is simply molecules swirling together in a particular pattern which forms what we know is water.

We've all heard about scientists splitting atoms, so we know that it is possible. We can study the intricacies of molecular science and get a greater understanding of the process. But, doesn't this molecular view eliminate God from the picture? Aren't we just supposed to ask God for something and He makes it happen? That's the way I was taught and could never figure out why I didn't get what I wanted. Hmmm, God never seemed to want for me what I wanted. Why is this? Realizing that God created everything gives you the confidence to keep God in the picture. Realizing that God made you and gave you exactly the same energy and power that He has, gives you the confidence to create just as He does. God is never out of the picture. He has freely given you all the tools you need to create your life as you desire it to be. Remember that this computer on which I am typing is merely an arrangement of atoms that appears to me to be a computer. It is a creation, not a reality.

What? Not a reality you say? If we saw the computer on the atomic level, would it look like a computer? Certainly not, just as you would not look like you do. We have to put on our God view to be able to see things as God sees them. God sees our souls as the spiritual creations that they are. God does not see us as we see us. If you were looking at the earth from God's vantage point, would you see things as we do? No, so we shouldn't be so simple minded as to think that God sees as we do. In fact, God puts very little emphasis on our physical beings. God puts great emphasis on our spiritual beings, as He knows that our spirits are everlasting whereas our physical bodies are not. This offers us a very different perspective with which to view life. If we look at life as God does, He sees that our truest innermost desires are easily envisioned by us when we choose them. God sees that everything is made up of energy creating particles, so everything is therefore possible.

Your job as you know it is a creation. Your job is in reality nothing more than an idea. Your job is not something that you can put a finger on, even though you are paid to do it. It exists only in our perception. Your job is nothing more than a thought. But to you, your job is as real as the nose on your face, and you let it take over your entire life. Hmmm, makes you think about your priorities, doesn't it? If we were to focus only on those things that we can actually see, then what would we give our attention to? We would certainly give attention to people, as they can be seen. Material things get our attention, as we can see them. You can't see love, so drop it off the list. You can't see emotions, so they go too. You can't see happiness, so outta here! If you believe that only those things that you can see are real, then you will have a very limited life. Spend a little time mulling this over.

But you just know that love is real and you have at least once been happy, so that must be real. You have been afraid, so that was real even though you couldn't see it. What then is real? What separates real from not real? Is behavior real or is it merely what is exhibited by the body? If we assume that behavior is real, what makes it real – what we see or what motivates it? Are not all things created first by thoughts? If I assume that this book is merely words on paper, how did they get there? What caused this book to appear in its present form? Something caused me to be motivated to think about sitting down to type these words and I sat down and typed them, submitted them for publishing, they were published and distributed, and you are holding them. What caused this book to happen? It just didn't drop from the sky.

If we know that this book did not materialize out of thin air, then we know that it was created. At what point was thought put into action from which creation resulted. If I didn't believe that I could write this book, then would I have taken the time to sit in front of the computer with the idea and bring forth the product? I had to believe that I could before I could get started. As some point, I had to think about the product before the product became realized. What causes thoughts? What motivates us to think? What motivates us to want? What motivates us to create? Our lives are a constant creative process, whether we realize it or not. The upcoming holidays cause me to know that people are out right now creating their holiday reality. People are shopping for the gifts that they think they want to give and for the decorations that they want to have. People create Christmas. If we gave no thought to Christmas, then there would be no Christmas.

Life is all about creating what you want to experience. This is simply the truth. We spend much of our lives not knowing what or how to create exactly what we want. We try this and that, but often get something short of what we would like to have had. We guess that we would like to try skating, so we buy skates and dash out to the rink. After a few less than enjoyable falls, we may find that skating just isn't our bag. So, we try something else. Just as I thought that a motorcycle would bring me tons of fun, the reality was very different. If I had first taken the time to think about my truest desires, then perhaps I could have saved much money which was spent on the entire motorcycle experience. But, everyone told me how much fun it would be, so I listened to them and bought the bike. I didn't bother to think of what I really wanted or what the experience would bring to me.

Choosing more wisely would certainly eliminate much wasted time in our lives. I may have a great idea and go after it gleefully. This is not to say that it was a bad idea, but it was simply an idea. Thoughts create what we want them to create. A negative thought is just as creative, so don't forget to get rid of negative thoughts as soon as you have them. It's hard to know what to choose when you don't even know yourself. We are talking about leaving I behind, but you are still the focus driving the whole creative process. Are we talking out of both sides of our mouths? Not really – remember that a change in perspective is the true difference. You are important and you are the creator. Why you create is the most important part of creation. If you create to cause harm to others, then you are not serving your best purpose. If you create to bring good to others, then you are on the right track. If you are creating simply for your own enjoyment, then perhaps you are a little off the spiritual track and need to do some soul searching.

If your purpose in reading this is to get what you've always wanted, because you want what you want and really don't care about anyone else, allow me to suggest that you stop reading at once. This is not the book for you. There are many books written to serve your purpose, but this is not one of them. This book is written to teach you that your true happiness is found in the creation of your life according to your soul's purpose in the service of others. You can never be happy alone, even if you are the richest person alive. You will learn that true happiness comes from giving happiness to others. Think about why so many celebrities spend their first big money on a new house for their mothers. Their mothers don't really need a new house, but the celebrity wants to bring happiness to those who brought happiness to them. By giving, we receive.

It is not nearly as much fun to smile if no one is there to appreciate it. It can make you feel good, but it loses something when it loses the person who can receive it. Leaving I behind is about realizing that you are part of the All and that you have a purpose and connection to the All. Once you see yourself as part of the whole, you are less likely to be selfish, lonely and alone.

Chapter 3 - Boredom

Why are we always so bored? Because we aren't doing what we would really like to be doing. The older we get, the more likely we are to be bored, because we talk ourselves out of doing what we want to do. We have a brilliant idea and before you know it, it was a really stupid idea and we choose to watch TV instead. When we realize this awful pattern, we can start to change our lives to have less boredom and emptiness. If we have come to realize that we are the creators of our lives, then we have the tools to make us what we want to be. Some of us may choose to be bored, as it is less stressful. There are people who have lived under much stress and now choose to do very little. This to them is not boredom, but is rest and relaxation. Again, perspective is everything.

I for one am often bored, especially when I do the things that don't make me happy. If you ever have been bored at your job, why do you continue to go to that job? Have you ever tried to make your job less boring? I have – I used to think up projects to keep me entertained. This should have been a sign that I needed a new job, but I wasn't that smart. In reality, I knew that I needed a new job, but didn't know what kind of job that I wanted, so I didn't make a big effort at finding one. I just went alone with what I had and didn't really go after what I wanted. Have you ever done this? Shame on me and you for our laziness and lack of creativity.

And we wonder why we aren't happy? We wonder why we are so bored. We just can't understand why God won't give us what we need to be happy. Sometimes, we think that He is just mean and laughs at our misery. It's all God's fault as we are always faultless. Until we realize that we are God with all of God's creative power, we continue to live our lives in boredom and misery. Blaming God generally isn't the way to peace and happiness. I know this because I have done this. I speak from a wealth of experience on this subject.

So, we now decide that we have to make a few changes if we are ever going to find happiness. Hmmm, what to do? Where to look? Seek and you shall find. But where do I seek and what do I seek? Back to #1 and looking within. Oh, I never find anything there. Just a bunch of stupid dreamy thoughts about unrealistic things. I just can't put a lot of stock on that fluffy stuff. I need some real direction with realistic chances of attainment. Oh, I can have anything that I want simply by arranging atomic particles to create it in my reality? Sure, that makes sense if you live in the scientific world. I just can't believe such a thing. I've never heard of such and can't waste my time arranging atoms. That's bologna if I ever heard it!

Or is it? God says it to be true, so why do I doubt it? Have I ever even given it a try? Not really, so I guess I should first give it a try before calling it bologna. At some level I know that there is no such thing as this computer, but I see one nonetheless. How do I change my thinking to see the computer as simply the realization of my want for something to process my thoughts into reality? Let's back up and start at the beginning.

I had the thought that I wanted to share with others the words given to me. Then I thought about how best to do this. Then I knew that word processing was the easiest way. I then knew that I had to have a computer to run the word processing software. I had to choose the software. I had to make the money to buy the computer. I had to purchase the computer. I had to set up the computer. I had to type the words. I had to submit the words for publishing. Etc. Getting thoughts into a book is not as easy as you might think. There are many steps not listed like buying paper for printing, etc. The fact remains that I had to produce the means to produce the book. Whether the words are God given or not, I had to do my part of the creative process.

If we go back further, someone had to have the idea about creating the computer and the software. Someone had to create the computer and prepare it for the market. Someone had to ship the computer, so that someone could receive it. Everything starts with a thought as this example illustrates. So, we really do create our lives, what we have and what we experience. If I am poor and I choose to drive a Mercedes, then I have to do some choosing to change my circumstance to be able to drive the Mercedes; otherwise, I would have to steal one, and that would involve another creation called jail time. Let's start our choosing at the basics. Let's decide what experiences that we want to have. My greatest desire is to be happy. What does this mean? It is different for everyone, so each must decide individually. If I know that my happiness only comes from helping to make others happy, then I have a start. By choosing to help make others happy, I simply have to create ways to do so.

If I believe that this book will help bring happiness to others happy, then by writing this book I will have made myself happy. Suddenly, instead of wanting happiness, I am happy. I have gone from wanting to being. If I believe that I am simply writing this book because God told me to, then God is happy and I am not. Typing really is no fun. What is my truest desire and how I perceive happiness makes all the difference. Knowing that God wants for me what I want for me, gives me the confidence to know that He has given me what I need to fulfill my desire – He has given me the words to write, so that I can be happy by giving to others. So, how can I afford to keep writing if I have no income? How can I be happy if the book does not sell well? How can I be happy if it doesn't help make other people happy? Suddenly, happiness turns to negativity and a million questions of pop up. With a few negative thoughts, my happiness is lost. So, what was the point of the whole exercise if I just end up unhappy again?

Is it shortsighted to assume that the book will not touch the heart of another? Am I just pessimistic as usual? Should my happiness be only in having a best seller? What is my truest desire – writing the book, bringing the words to others, helping others, bringing happiness to others, etc? Am I in this for God, others, myself or all? Have I assigned conditions to the experience such that I have imposed limits on my experience? We have to get away from our expectations and get to the root causes for our happiness. By putting conditions on circumstances, we limit our potential experiences.

At some point, we have to believe that we are serving the greater good and that there is a reason for our efforts. I have to believe that there are those who truly do need this information just as I do and that they have beseeched God for the answers to their questions. I have to believe that this is God's answer to the prayers of those who seek to know Him better and understand more fully how He works. I have to believe that by doing this, I am making a difference in someone's life, just as God has made a difference in my life. I know that God hates to type just as much as I do, so I will do the grunt work and He provides the words. That's a fair deal!

If you are still lost – just ask God to teach you how to create your happiness. If you do this and don't get a response immediately, then you need to stop and listen. God does give us what we need to create our desires if we are willing to listen. God does not force His will upon us, we have free will. He will guide us if we ask and He will give us the answers if we ask. We must listen for His answers or we will miss them and assume He doesn't care. Of course He cares, or you wouldn't be reading this right now. He has listened to me and heard my whines about being miserable and wanting to be happy. He has answered me and He will answer you if only you ask and listen.

Listen, you say? Remember that God can communicate with you in any way possible. He can talk to you through your thoughts or through your TV, radio, or anything else. If you truly seek, you can't miss His answer. He will give you messages in the ways that you understand. He will give them over and over until you finally get the message. Some of us have a tendency to discount messages as our imagination, until finally we can deny it no longer. When you finally realize that you are getting His messages, you will be always on the lookout for more. In fact, you will become preoccupied looking for them. Once you know that you can get messages, you will have a new perspective and suddenly you are obsessed with getting them. You will want more and more of the good stuff that God has to give.

There are times when I feel as if He is constantly talking to me and times when I can't hear a thing. What's the difference? If God is constant, then I have to assume that I am the one who is different and am not available for the communication. Realizing that I receive fewer messages when I am distracted by other things, I have to learn to allow less distraction to come between us. I have to maintain a mind-set that is open to communication and allow His messages to freely come to me. It is I who takes me away from God and not the other way around. I have to leave I behind and focus on the All, which is my constant connection to God.

It is easy to become distracted by life and to forget about God or not find time to listen to Him. It is difficult to live without His guidance and direction, so when we need Him most, we should take the time to be with Him. We let the I take over and the All fall by the wayside. Oneness with God is the secret to everything. Achieving this realization is very difficult. Realizing that it is possible is a start and making your best effort will speed you on your path to true happiness. We are not even close to Oneness, but that is a lesson for another time. Our purpose now is to realize that we are part of the All and begin to live accordingly. Once you choose to leave I behind, you start to experience a new life with creative energy never before known. You start to create your life instead of something else creating life for you. You begin to take control of your own life and begin to know that you have awesome creative power and control. You see that material things are merely arrangements of atomic particles and you have the power to arrange them according to your desires.

Our first impulse is to begin at once. I try every imaginable way to create that wad of cash that I have always wanted. I spend hour after hour trying to conjure up the money to give me the freedom to live according to my choices. Remember, it is freedom that we seek, not material goods. We should more earnestly seek freedom than what we imagine will give us freedom. God works out the details, so don't waste your time trying to conjure up this or that, which you think is the answer. Decide your purpose in life and let God give you what you need to experience your life according to its purpose. I can sit and list the things that I want right now, but if I fail to realize that what I really want is happiness, then I have missed the boat. When I don't get what I want, it was because I wanted stuff instead of experiences. When you choose happiness, you know that the fulfillment of all of your worldly needs is a part of your happiness, so why waste time asking for the car and the house. The car and the house, if these will make you happy, are part of the whole package of happiness that is coming to you when you choose happiness.

Not everyone's happiness is found in the same things, so don't assume that Mother Teresa was not happy with little. Her happiness came on quite a different level than our happiness does. If we skip of the middle of our lives and suddenly find ourselves at death's door, do we really care about the car and the house? Instantly we are concerned about only the truly important things in life – love and happiness. All the jewels and furs fall by the wayside when they are perceived for the nothing that they are. Seek the experience and not the items. Seek to know yourself and your truest desires first; then choose your experiences and live your life to the fullest.

Tell the universe what you have and thank the universe accordingly. Know that the universe produces that which you truly believe exists. Changing your mind every day about what you want will never produce a thing, as it can't be created before you have no longer chosen it. You must decide deliberately and firmly without wavering, what you desire and give the universe no alternative but to create your realization. The universe does not care this way or that way about anything. It creates what it has been given the energy to create. Give your life's energy to the universe for the fulfillment of your dreams.

As with everything, there is such thing as the collective consciousness or the combination of wills. Just as you are a bundle of energy, so is everyone else. You will this and they will that. Depending on the strength of the wills imposed, the universe reacts accordingly. If fifty people will something to happen, it is more likely to happen than if only one person wills it. If the one person willing it is of much faith and understanding, such as Jesus, then His will overcomes the wills of many. If it is the will of many that a solution is found, then it is more likely that the solution will be found. There is strength in numbers. When any two or more are gathered together.... This is true and we should seek to join with others of like desires whenever possible. If our wills give enough energy, then the universe has no choice but to create the object of our energy.

Still we want to see a demonstration of this in action and know that this is how the universe works. We want to know that we have the creative power that we are told that we have. Sure, by smiling I can make others smile. Is this what we are discussing? The simple things that we create by our actions are the manifestation of our creativity, but we seek to learn to fully manifest our creative power for the good of all. We aren't satisfied just making someone smile; we want to be able to really make a difference. We are not here to just simply get by; we want to make things happen. We want the universe to obey our every command. We want to know our creative power as real by its demonstration. So, God, teach us how to be all that we can be!

Chapter 4 - Creating Your Life

If I were to walk into a homeless shelter and announce, "You are the creator of your lives and you have chosen to be here," would I get applause, laughter or rotten tomatoes? I would have to laugh myself for this message would sound ridiculous. How can we put our creative power into action, when we are simply not aware that we have creative power and feel that we are victims of circumstance? I would have to get in touch with the homeless person and find out the root causes for his winding up where he is. Much research and self evaluation is needed to assess the true reasons for his present circumstances.

It is difficult to believe in God, much less that you are God, if your life in no way resembles your vision of God. It is easier to blame God than blame ourselves. We would rather look away from self than take responsibility for our own actions. Let's imagine that there is a homeless person named Ricky.

I meet Ricky and am shocked first by his appearance and further by his nasty attitude. He is difficult to get to know because he has such distrust of me. I have to first give him confidence that I do care and that I am interested in improving his life according to his desires for his life. I start by asking what he would desire if he could have anything. Not surprisingly, he responds that he would be rich beyond his wildest dreams. I then ask why. He explains that he would not have to take __it from anyone if he didn't need the money. So, we imagine that suddenly he has all the money that he will ever need. I then ask what he would do next given that he is in a homeless shelter, nasty with an attitude to match and suddenly wealthy. He says that he is going to buy a car and a house and all the things that he wants. And then what, I ask. He says that he will treat other people like they have treated him and he has some people who need a lesson or two.

He goes on to tell me how he will use the money to take revenge on those who have wronged him. I let him go on and on until he has exhausted his imagination about what to do with his life. I then ask, what's the difference between that picture and this one? What's the real difference between the two scenarios? Money, of course. I suggest that it is not the money, but the freedom that he really wants. He scratches his head and says that he doesn't care about freedom – he has plenty of that now. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose," as Janice Joplin sang. And he has nothing left to lose. He has suffered much in the past and is full of bitterness and anger. He can't see any signs of hope. He was neglected as a child and turned to crime at a young age. He has spent much time incarcerated and no one wants to hire him. What hope does he really have?

I am reminded of the Johnny Cash and Aaron Neville and others who have overcome circumstance to become much beloved by society. What is the difference between them and Ricky? I ask Ricky for his insight. He is puzzled as he has never heard these stories. I asked about his education and find that he dropped out of school. He never liked school because it was very hard for him. Again I asked what was stopping him from living his dreams. What could turn his life around and make him what he dreams of being? Surely there must be a way, as others before him have made great changes in their lives. What is the answer for Ricky? Is Ricky without hope if money doesn't fall from the sky? Does Ricky have a special talent or purpose which he could use to pull himself out of this circumstance? Further inquiry is needed.

I spend more and more time with Ricky until Ricky demonstrates to me that he has an idea about how to change things. Ricky suddenly realizes that he does have options and they involve changing his perspective rather than changing his circumstances. He suddenly realized that by changing his attitude, his life will also change. He decides to develop a plan of action. If what he wants is a house and a car, then he has to concoct a way to bring them to him. He has to find a way to clean himself up, finish his education, get a job and learn to help others, so that he can help himself. Instead of waiting for a handout, he should be helping others. He should be the one to be giving advice instead of the one receiving it. He is not a loser; he is just in the wrong place. He needs to make a positive change in his attitude, so that he can make a positive change in his life.

Ricky decides that he will get dressed and visit the local department of labor one stop shop to find out what services are available. He had no idea of all of the educational opportunities available. He didn't know that training programs are available with job placement to follow. Wow, Ricky suddenly is inspired to dream about the future. He finds himself in a new place with totally new circumstances. Ricky needs encouragement to stay focused. He needs the support of those whom he is telling about what he has learned. He is the greatest teacher at the homeless shelter, because people learn by example. The others at the shelter see Ricky as the one who made it. Suddenly, everyone wants what Ricky has and they are following in his footsteps. The change is significant and soon Ricky has a job as a counselor helping those who are like he was. Ricky has a new car and a new house and the life that he has always dreamed of. What made the difference? Ricky!

Ricky isn't satisfied to just help those in the local shelter – he wants more and wants to give more. He figures out a way to serve the homeless nationwide and works with charitable organizations to get the necessary funding. He becomes well known for his efforts and soon is among the most highly regarded persons in the non-profit sector. It is difficult for those with much to get more, but how much more difficult was it for Ricky to do what he did? Ricky realized his purpose in life and made the most of his life. He trusted that his dream of helping others would cause him to have whatever he needed to accomplish his dream. He was never without what he needed to succeed. He always "found" a way to make things happen and to be able to serve the needy.

Having worked with people just like Ricky, I know first hand the difference that an attitude can make. I know that there are people who have chosen to change their entire lives and become the masters of their destinies. I know that there is nothing that a person can't do, if they choose to do it and stick to it. Homelessness is merely a temporary circumstance if you choose to make it so. Joblessness is merely an interruption in your life if you really want to work. Hopelessness is the worst sort of circumstance, but this to can be overcome when first you choose to have hope. If you realize that you are in the circumstance that you are for a reason and that you can change your circumstance at any time, then you start to realize that perhaps you may have a higher purpose and that your life has been the means to the end. Just as Ricky could not have done what he did without the experience of being homeless, your experience serves the purpose of giving you the reference that you need to accomplish your purpose.

If you get in touch with your inner self and know that you do have a purpose, know your purpose and choose to fulfill the purpose, then your life will be instantly changed. There is no option but for it to change. As in the beingness and doingness exercise, simply choosing to be something starts the changes. Simply by choosing to be happy, then suddenly I am happy and everything that I do is an exercise in bringing more happiness. I am no longer able to choose anything else but happiness. My focus is happiness and I can't even imagine doing anything that doesn't make me happy. This is not to say that I will always be happy or that only good things will happen, but my happiness is within me and is a matter of how I choose to perceive life. If I choose to only see happiness, then only happiness will I see.

It's hard to believe that something so simple works, but I assure you it does. It won't cost you anything to try it. Remember, to choose the experience not the details and don't put expectations on your choosing. When I choose to be happy, I don't add the many ways that I expect to experience happiness. Only God knows what will truly make me happy and He will bring forth the happy making stuff for me. How many times do we tell God what to do so that we'll be happy? Oh, God, if you'll give me this, I'll be happy. When you get it, you are no happier than you were before. So, cut down on the disappointments and let God decide what you need to be happy. He has a better imagination than you do and he doesn't skimp on the good stuff.

Chapter 5 - One For All and All For One

This should be the motto of our lives. Realizing that we are all the same except with different circumstances, it is much easier to join the team and play equally with others. When you see yourself as different, then you can't really be a part of the team. When you see yourself as part of the team, then you can give your best efforts to the team. We are all part of God's team and we must all learn to work together for the common good. If I seek to serve self, I can never fully be a part of the team and my creativity is wasted on the one. My creativity given for the good of all brings forth magical manifestations that can never be wasted.

The secret to living a life full to the limits of imagination is one with purpose and dedication, and involves the selfless giving of self for the good of all. Realizing that in giving we receive, we go forth with confidence that we are never left out when we are focused on giving to all. If our primary focus is others, then we will never be without what we need to serve. If our primary focus is self, then we spend our entire lives trying to have enough to serve self. We must shift our focus away from self, so that we are not continually seeking fulfillment of our personal needs. Once our focus is on others, we never again have to worry about how to get what we need; it is given to us by God, so that we can get on with our important tasks of giving to others.

It seems a little idealistic to assume that by shifting your focus to others that you never again have to worry about self. How can this be? We have always struggled and worried about our personal need attainment. If we wanted to give to others, then we gave from what we had earned from our personal fulfillment. By working for others, my personal needs are taken care of by God, so that I don't have to spend my valuable time worried about simply making a living. This is so very different from how we have lived up to this point, and we still have a little trouble accepting this concept. But God does give to those who serve His purpose and our purpose is to bring others to God. God's part of the bargain is to give us what we need to be able to fulfill our purposes.

Putting this new focus into practice is a little scary and disconcerting. If you've worked all of your life to serve self, then how do you suddenly turn and go in another direction? When we honestly decide to make the choice to serve others, God handles the details. Never again do we have to sit and scratch our heads about how to make a living; we focus on what our soul's desires are and what our God given talents are, so that we can get on with the business of serving others. God has no need for us to serve Him as He already has everything. What He wants us to do is to teach others how to know Him. He doesn't want us to force God on those we meet. He wants us to interact with those who have told Him of their desire to know Him. He brings to us the persons seeking God.

We don't have to sit around wringing our hands trying to figure out who needs our help. God brings to us those who need us. Haven't you ever had one of those surprising interactions with someone who seemed to be drawn to you for no reason? Haven't you ever been drawn to someone you didn't know, and they told you something marvelously helpful? It is not for us to go out and round up the troops – God takes care of that. Know that God hears all the prayers and He knows what each person needs. He gives to each according to the person's needs. We only have to make ourselves available for the service. How in the world do I – a person living very modestly from paycheck to paycheck with three kids and a mother in law to support – have anything to give to others? I guess I can tell people how not to live. Perhaps that is my calling. I can teach people that if you want to get ahead, don't have three children and don't let the mother in law move in. (Just kidding)

We are often overwhelmed by our circumstances, so that we can't see past them to see our higher purpose in life. If God wants me to serve, He will provide the means. I may not even be able to imagine the means, but God will provide what is needed. He will arrange the atoms at some higher level, so that we will be enabled to have what we need to be able to serve Him. Sure, it sounds a little like science fiction, but we like all that stuff anyway. I can honestly say that I don't know exactly how God works out the details, but I do know that He is the boss and He gives me what I need. There are examples in the Bible of God making enough food from little to feed entire crowds. Do I really care about how He did it, or that He actually can and did? God fed His chosen people in the desert by dropping Manna from the sky. Is it impossible for Him to give you anything less? We don't doubt that God does for others, but while living in our second hand mobile home, we find it difficult to believe that God is really in touch with our needs. How do we get in on the good stuff?

We have all heard stories of people who once lived in cars and suddenly they become millionaires. How do these things happen? Perhaps these people have gotten in touch with their truest selves and have decided to live according to their soul's desires. God does not judge your desires, but wants for you what you want for you. When you want for you what is best for others, then you will never again have to worry about self. In much the same way as our President does not have to worry about where his next meal is coming from, he is left only to worry about the important business at hand. If you choose to serve God, then why would He want you to sit around worrying about paying the light bill? Really, if you believe that God can, why do you doubt that He will?

Because you haven't seen any miracles lately, and you don't think that there are really any coming soon. Why haven't we seen miracles before? Well, there was that time when something odd happened and my life was spared in the most miraculous way. Hmmm, surely that was just luck as it wasn't yet my time to die. We are quick to blame God for being everywhere punishing us often, but we aren't nearly so anxious to give Him credit for doing good and giving us what we need. We are far more likely to blame God for bad than thank Him for good. What's up with that? Do we really think that by blaming God that He will suddenly open up heaven and shower us with good things? We've tried that and it just didn't seem to work. Let's try something different. Let's try a little reverse psychology. Let's try to trick God into giving us what we want. Yeah, let's fool Him into thinking that we will serve Him if He gives us what we want.

Need I elaborate on how God reacts to your latest ploy of self fulfillment? Do you really think that you can put a fooling on God? Well, give it a try – we'll wait.

Ok, so now that you know for sure that this won't work, let's try something a little more realistic and useful. What seemed to be the catharsis for me was when I asked for spiritual maturity. Since that time, my life really hasn't been the same. It was not as if my focus was on having or doing anything in particular, I just wanted to know God on a higher level and to experience the peace of the more spiritually mature. Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it. God commenced to teach me that there is nothing that can happen to me that truly matters except on the spiritual level. Whatever happens to the body or the mind is merely an experience to be had and not as life altering as I had once thought. He told me that nothing touches the soul truly and that the soul is everlasting. What we perceive as good or bad is really just an experience for our soul to enjoy.

After undergoing one of the worst times in my life and having lived through it, I do realize now that the end of the world did not come as I thought that it would. My person had not changed and my values are in tact. Sure, it was not a pleasant thing to experience but it was simply an experience nonetheless. Seeing life's experiences as just that makes life much more livable. Once you realize that even unto death, your soul is still in tact and you are still the same spiritually as you were, makes life much easier to handle. Having lived my life as reactionary, it was always difficult for me to be proactive. I was always the problem solver and never the risk taker. I allowed my life to be lived in reaction to the actions of others. Let me say that this was a very unfulfilling way to live.

I could not even imagine that I could be the master of my own destiny. I did what I was told and was a very good servant. I was forever faithful and loyal and sought the best of my service for others. I always wanted to please and was pleased in the pleasure of others. In a sense this is how it should be – except that I never was pleased from the standpoint that I was fulfilling my soul's purpose. I always knew that I was meant for different service, but just couldn't break loose from my mentally devised shackles. God took away those shackles and showed me that I had been living an illusion of my own making. Sure, I was able to pay the bills, but was never really satisfied inside. I always felt that something was missing, and now I had been given the chance to find my true happiness.

It is a very common mistake to seek our happiness in others. We get married and run dreamily down the aisle thinking that nothing but happiness awaits once we leave the ceremony. As everyone finds out, Cinderella didn't only have fun and games after the wedding. Our happiness cannot be found in others. Others are in our lives and can bring wonderful experiences to our lives, but it is only within us that happiness flourishes. Others can do things, but only our reactions determine whether we smile or frown. Our reactions are not automatic as we would like to think. This is an excuse that we often use to get our butts off the hook. "They made me do it," is often how we excuse our behavior. No one can make you do anything and the sooner that you take responsibility for your own actions, the sooner you can start to know yourself and realize that you are the master of your own destiny.

One of our favorite copouts is worrying about how others will see us. Oh, they'll think I'm crazy. I don't have to worry about others thinking I am crazy; I have a tendency to think that of myself, so I can save the worry on that one. We are scared that we will be perceived badly or that they won't like us. If you like yourself, what does it really matter what they think? We spend our lives in fear of "they" when we should really spend time in fear of what "we" think of us. Put yourself in the mix and become part of the we. Thinking of the whole as they, excludes self and leaves you out of the blame. They are separate from us, so don't worry about them. They can take care of themselves. We should take care of ourselves. Ok, now I'm confused. I'm having a little trouble with pronouns. Let me take a minute to review. We have to see ourselves in the picture lest we lose control to others.

Don't let me fool you into thinking that once you decide to serve God that your life will instantly turn into a carnival of fun and games. You must understand that God sees your life much differently than you do. Go with the flow and know that nothing can really hurt you or keep you away from God or your purpose. Once you realize that you do have freedom to serve, your life will begin immediately to change in drastic ways. You may not at first understand the changes and you will constantly be nagging God to please explain this or that to you. You will be confused, but amazed. You will think that He should get a move on because you are just sick of waiting. Know that He does things according to the overall plan and not to your whims. Suffering from a total lack of patience is one of my greatest problems. I like for things to happen now – not later. Of course, God put the shoe on the other foot when He gave me control of the pace of the action. He has allowed me to spend as much or as little time as I choose writing these books.

He doesn't turn the computer on nor does He tap His foot until I do. He has given me control of the action. It was much easier to blame Him. Sitting in front of this computer is very boring, but it surely beats having to drag out to work each day, as I've done for the past twenty years. I guess I'm lucky to have been given this opportunity to serve God while enjoying a rest. Perhaps God gave me the opportunity to serve Him while collecting myself after a time of great trial. Perhaps God is serving two purposes at once. He is efficient that way. By simply choosing to grow spiritually, my life has changed dramatically. I know that the road ahead will be different from the road left behind. I see life very differently than I did before. I see purpose and vision whereas I once only saw work and strife. I have a peace inside that I have never before felt. In reality, nothing has changed, but spiritually everything has changed.

The major change is in my perspective. I have learned that I control nothing, yet I control everything. Doesn't make sense? If you think about it, it does. If I think that I control everything by virtue of my choice to grow spiritually, then certainly I control everything. If I realize that I control nothing because God controls everything, then you see that others control everything by controlling my actions for the benefit of the whole. It doesn't much matter to me who controls what. It matters more to me that I am doing what best serves my soul's purpose, so that I have God's peace inside. When once I worried about everything and seemingly controlled nothing; now I worry about nothing and control nothing, and have such a peace that defies even my imagination. To say that I am a changed person in one sense is very true; to say that I have changed is not true. I am the same person with a changed perspective. I have chosen to live rather than make a living. I have chosen to serve with a higher purpose than serve those who offer me a paycheck.

It is true that by doing good we feel good. If our lives are spent doing good, then in turn we will have good lives. If our focus is on doing good for others, then nothing but good will we receive. If I spend my days worried about paying the bills, then my days will be filled with worries of paying the bills. If I spend my days loving life and enjoying all that God has given me, then my days will be filled with love and happiness. A simple change of perspective can and does make a huge difference. How does it work? I can almost understand it clearly, but still have much to learn. I can see that if I am not filled with needless worry, I am much happier and peaceful. Realizing that my worry cannot change a thing, I can relax and enjoy this life and all of its wonder. There is a difference between planning and worrying – I see that now, whereas before, my worrying was my planning or my planning came from my worrying. So much of my life has been wasted in the pastime of worry.

I guess in a way, I was addicted to worry. I thought that you had to be filled with worry as a way to make sure that you were always seeking more and better. I now realize that worry keeps you from what you most desire. You can never be in touch with your truest self if you are fraught with doubt and worry. Doubt and worry are the by-products of fear. Fear is the byproduct of self doubt and low self esteem. If you think that you do not deserve whatever it is that you desire, then surely you will never achieve it. Your own doubt causes you to do without. Why do we feel that we don't deserve? There are many reasons not the least of which is our religious upbringing. We are taught very early that we should not seek material things and we should always be modest and appreciate the simple things in life. If we are greedy, then we will be punished.

God offers a different perspective in that we must examine our truest motives and desires. God wants for us what we want, but He doesn't choose for us to have that which is not according to our truest desires. There is never a circumstance where financial security should not be desirous. This is not greed, but is a measure of freedom. Having what you need to live gives you the freedom to live your life in service to others. If you are worrying about paying the rent, you are less likely to freely give to others. If you want a big house just so your neighbors will be envious, then perhaps you are not in touch with your truest self. Your soul does not need a big house, so it can never be your soul's desire to live in a big house. Don't blame your soul for your selfishness. What's the harm in wanting a better lifestyle? Does God not want for you the pleasures of a good life? If God were here, would He not want a good life for Himself? Would God want to live in the streets and beg for a handout? Certainly God needs nothing and we assume that God wants what we want. I can only imagine that if God were here that He would want for Him the same things that we want for us. There is not a person alive who really wants to be homeless. It just isn't in our nature.

If we take a leap and assume that God will give us what we want as long as it serves our purpose in the service of others, then we can almost see that we may deserve more than we thought that we did. If we see that we don't deserve any more than we have, then we are limiting ourselves. Why do some people have much while some have so little? There are many different reasons, but let's stick to us for now. I have what I have because I have allowed myself to have what I have. I have always felt that I needed modest safety and security, so that is exactly what I have. I would rather have more now that I realize that it is ok to have more if the motives are correct. This is not to say that I want more just to have more – I want more out of life because I want to live life to the fullest. I'm sick of being a reactionary back seat player in the game of life. My soul needs greater experiences and settling for less is no longer an option.

Sitting in my broken recliner watching my favorite show CRIBS on MTV is hardly the best approach to actually getting the crib that I want and deserve. Do you think that the owners shown on CRIBS are any more worthy than you? What's the real difference between them and you? I asked myself this and found that I am not a rapper or a sports star. I guess I have no talent deserving of such a nice house. Why have I been left to live a modest life while I could really enjoy one of those nice houses? Why are they lucky and I am not? I think that the major difference between those people and me is that they believe in themselves and I do not. I was never able to think that I deserved more than what I have. I never dreamed of having great and wonderful things. I never dreamed that I could have anything that I wanted. I dreamed modest dreams as I thought that modesty was all that I could have. I don't see that I have any special talents. I don't see myself as any more deserving than anyone else.

We have to break out of our cycle of seeing God as we have been taught that He is. He does not desire that anyone live in poverty. He does not punish us for wanting more. He does not care if we choose to live modestly, but He wants us to freely choose. He wants us to live for our soul's highest purpose and to live life to the fullest. Our religions have taught us much about God, and I am suddenly finding that God disagrees with much of it. Religions would fall instantly if people realized the true nature of God. God isn't like us, and we do ourselves a great injustice when we think that He is. Our self imposed limitations keep us from knowing God as He really is. He wants us to know Him, so that we can know ourselves. If we spent as much time searching for our spiritual roots as we do for our historical roots, then we would know God already. We spend so much time worried about where we came from, that we ignore our spiritual selves and spiritual roots.

What if we did our spiritual root tree? How would that look? We would see God as the tree and us as the fruit. We wouldn't be concerned about the generations between us and God, because none of that matters. We would see that by virtue of our being from part of the tree of God, that we are God and that all things that He is, we are. Now that's a tree with some good roots! That's a tree of life and a life brought forth from it has got to be a great life. Our fruit is merely an extension of God's fruit. Why do we limit our potential by imagining that we are less than what we are? Why do we not see that we are part of the All and have all of the All available for our use? Why do we choose to limit ourselves, to have less than we actually do have? Because we see God on a throne in heaven and we are merely lowly servants here on earth trying to eek out a living and survive until it is our time to die. Isn't that rather bland and self demeaning?

God wants us to live life as He would live life. He wants everything for us that we choose to have. We have chosen this life and have chosen the experiences of this life. God has not imposed us on this earth as a punishment and does not sit in judgment of our every choice. Change your perspective and you will suddenly see that your life is your own and what you choose it to be, it will be. Choose wisely, as your soul knows what you need to fully experience yourself on your path to spiritual maturity. Your soul understands that you need to live and to survive. Your soul knows your present stage of development and will bring to you what you have chosen to experience. No one can make you do or be anything. Just as you said you wanted to be a fireman when you grew up, you were allowed to do just that if you chose to. God is seeking for you to be what you want to be right now. What are you choosing to be right now?

Chapter 6 - Walking In The Light

Having chosen your new path, you are filled with excitement and a new found energy that you had never dreamed possible. You have realized that you have unlimited potential and the power to make all things possible. You are God and you are just about to burst with excitement. You don't know which way to turn, but you are ready to go in the direction of your choosing. You ask God for guidance and advice. You literally can't wait to get started. You know that you are filled with a sense of urgency as never before. You find yourself looking for clues at every turn. You are filled with joy and happiness and have no idea why. You don't really understand your path, but know that you are on the way.

You soon find yourself drawn to things completely out of character for you. You suddenly find yourself reading books on spiritual growth and living a purposeful life. You are reading everything that you can get your hands on. Every time you turn on the TV there seems to be a message just waiting for you. It is as if God is talking directly to you and saying exactly what you need to hear. Wow, this is cool and you are just irked that you have wasted so much time alone in the darkness. Suddenly, everything seems so open and full of life. You are anxious for no reason. You are excited and seemingly unprepared. You bump into people who seem to know what you are thinking. You hear songs that touch your soul. You can't seem to get away from this feeling of purpose and determination.

You are soon almost obsessed with this feeling of Godliness and compassion. You have empathy for everyone and can suddenly see souls instead of people. You are transformed into a soul magnet instead of a people magnet. You can suddenly overcome behavior and know the person, rather than what they do. You are instantly aware of each person's search for her truest desires. You know that you are God and that you are walking in the light. You can't seem to concentrate on anything else. Your love of your recliner seems diminished in favor of spending time reading something inspirational. Who is this person and why do she look so much like me?

You soon find that paying the bills is but a motor movement and not a lifelong desire. You simply put the checks in the mail and move on to more important things. You can't waste your very valuable time as God in such mundane occupations. You know that the money will always be there to pay the bills, because you have more important things to do. You want to be all that you can be and do all that you can for others. There are souls seeking God and you have to be ready when they are sent to you. You can't be sitting in the recliner while good souls need God. You realize that the recliner was just a way for you to avoid doing what your soul was calling you to do. Sure, there is comfort in the old recliner and a new one just doesn't sit quite right, but you just don't have the same fondness for it that you used to.

There will come a time when the recliner has to go just as anything that causes you to not do your holy service has to go. Your old excuses for not living must go out with the trash. There is no recliner in the world quite like the seat of one who serves his purpose. It doesn't matter what kind of chair or where it is, it only matters that you have a seat when you need it. We were once so attached to places and things that we forgot that these things really don't matter. As I have often said when talking to someone about divorce, "it's only a house and there will be others – it is important to find peace and happiness, and happiness is not a place." Why do we love our houses so much, when they are merely four walls and a means to keep us tied to one spot? When we realize that our four walls keep us tied to our old selves, then we can release ourselves to experience new and better houses.

The thought of moving scares us to death. We've lived here for thirty years and we aren't going anywhere. Literally, you won't be going anywhere as long as you stay where you are. Why are we so tied to location? Do we think that our house is our home? Or, is our home where we find happiness serving our purpose? We tend to become so attached to what we have, that we become what we have. Instead of allowing ourselves to experience new things, we tie ourselves to the old hitching post and stay where we are. If you done it already, why continue to do it over and over? Let yourself be free to experience all that life has to offer. Sure, physically moving is not easy, but it is well worth the time it takes. This is not to say that we should be rolling stones all of our lives. But we should know that tying ourselves to things only limits our potential. If you want more out of life, keep it moving.

I am the sort of person who will stay in one general area at all costs. I am not attached to a certain house, but I am scared to death of moving out of my comfort zone. Why? Because I won't know anyone and I'll be alone and I'll be without this or that or blah, blah, blah. I have talked myself out of moving away so many times that I have run out of fingers and toes on which to count them. At forty three, the time has come and upon completion of this book, I fully intend to take that leap of faith and move away. The time has come and all the signs point to a new place. I must do this so that I can cut the last ties that bind me. Fear is a great big monster and it keeps us where we are. Seeing fear as the monster that it is will free us. Once you realize that you have no security anywhere except in God, then you are free to move around the cabin or the world at will. Cut the ties that keep you where you are, literally or figuratively.

If you allow a circumstance to control your life, then your life will not be much fun. You can change your circumstance quickly by simply choosing to. Changing your perspective is the easiest way to change your life. If you hate your job, you can change it. This may require some sacrifice, but in reality you deserve to be happy. If you want a new career, go for it. Go back to school. There are grants and loans available. Don't be your own worst enemy. The sacrifices will be short compared to the long term gains. I don't think that there is a person alive who regrets going back to school. Perhaps you have always wanted to but were afraid. My mother went back to college at forty two years old. She was scared, but she did it because she had always wanted to have a degree. She went on to get a Master's Degree also. I don't think that she has any regrets and I know that I am proud of her for making the effort to fulfill her dreams.

Take a chance on life. Get out of that chair and live. If you want it, it is possible. By attending school, you will learn much about life and find ways to fulfill your dreams that may not even relate to the classes being taken. You may bump into someone who has similar ambitions and interests. You may find that others have learned this or that about the same questions you have. You may find that you are not alone and that you may just enjoy being around other people. People in school have one thing in common – self improvement. Once you realize that there are others just like you out there, you may find yourself with new hope for the future. Well, if they can do it, surely I can also.

Before you know it, your life has changed completely. You are living the life that brings you fulfillment and joy. You may have started out on the wrong road, but it is never too late to jump on the right path to your fulfillment. Your happiness may be in simple things such as Bible study group teaching. Your happiness may be in larger things such as helping the world's poor. There is no limit to your potential when you realize that you can do anything you want to do. If you need a boost, find a good role model. There are many out there who have changed their lives exactly like you want to change yours. For me, Neale serves as a great role model. He doesn't even know that I exist, but he has touched my life in untold ways. I have heard Joyce Meyer on TV preaching about the days when she was the mother of four driving a twenty year old car seeking a world wide ministry. You have the power to do what others have done. Know this and show this!

Take a look inside, decide what you desire most, take inventory of your present circumstances and then take action. It is really this simple once you make the choice to fulfill your life's purpose. Sure, you have three kids and a wife and two dogs and a pile of debt and a ratty old car and no hope. Sounds like a good place to start.

What do you want? What does your family want? What are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want? How can you all work together for the common good? Make a plan and involve everyone. You are all in this together by choice and so the choice of all must be a part of the plan. You decide that you all want a better life. You decide that you've always wanted to go to school to learn to operate your own business. Your wife has always wanted to learn more about fashion consulting. Your kids want to have better chances for success. So, you all decide that you must pursue more education. You call the local schools to see what options are available. Child care is available for those who are seeking advanced schooling. You never knew the services that are available. You sign up and begin your schooling at once.

You have that pile of bills to deal with. What to do? Like a noose around your neck, your outstanding bills keep you under a dark cloud. How do you get from under the cloud and start a life in the light? There are options available such as credit counselors or bankruptcy. Oh no, not bankruptcy! That's an embarrassment and a shame for anyone. Let me tell you about embarrassment and shame – it's not what it used to be and bankruptcy can give you a clean slate and an opportunity to start over. We don't give a second thought to a large company using the bankruptcy tool to get out from under the debt cloud. Why do we think of it less for ourselves? Granted, it is not the ideal, but neither is living just to pay outstanding bills for which there seems no end in sight. There is not the same stigma attached to bankruptcy that there used to be. Anyone can get in a bad situation and it is more common than you realize.

If your life needs to be free of debt, fix it and move on. Don't use this as a way to skirt your responsibility; use it as a tool to start a new life. I once read that the average millionaire has filed for bankruptcy 2.5 times. The business savvy know the resources available to them. Get some advice and don't let your life continue in the present misery of the debt cloud.

Your wife's desire to get into fashion consulting can be an opportunity to move into employment which factors in fashion. She can work for a clothing store and can learn much while earning a paycheck. Her employer may also offer tuition reimbursement which is very common these days. This would enable her to go back to school also.

The kids, well you can only put them to work after a certain age, so you have to choose how they can contribute. Their best contribution may be in running the house while you and the wife are off working and going to school. I don't advocate leaving your kids alone unless they are an appropriate age, but I know from personal experience that we ran the house while the parents were at work once we had reached a responsible age. The kids need to buy in so that they can appreciate the experience. Things will be tough at first, but once the self empowerment is realized, the joy will be non-stop. When you live with purpose, you live.

Suddenly after six months, you don't even recognize your own life. You are amazed at what you have been able to accomplish. You are changed and are feeling the joy of fulfillment. God has taught you much and has much to offer. He will use your new skills and life to help others just as He has helped you. Miraculous things happen when you choose to experience miraculous things. You will know success in ways that you never imagined. You are literally a new person with new dreams, hopes, and desires. You may be tired, but it is a good tired which comes from living life to the fullest. What a difference a day makes when you choose to live.

After a year, you are beginning to feel the success that you never dreamed possible. You have learned how to have your own business and are now working to bring it into fruition. You may have to start small, but you can start at any time. There are businesses today that are started at home simply selling things on EBAY. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is a need for direction, God will provide. It is always darkest before the dawn. But the light is just around the corner if you choose to look. You are the master of your own destiny. You can do or be whatever it is that you choose to be. Sitting in the recliner will bring you the pleasure of sitting in your recliner. It will not bring you happiness and fulfillment, unless you simply live to sit in that chair. And if you do, do it well.

So you are an entrepreneur and have a nice house and your wife is a fashion consultant at a swanky upscale clothing store and the kids are as happy as they can be given that they are teenagers. You laugh at how easy it was to change your entire life once you decided to do it. Why on earth do so many people sit and wallow in their own misery? Why did you wallow in your misery for so long? Why have I wallowed in misery for so long? The answers vary, but it is mostly due to fear. Fear of not being able or good enough or deserving or skillful enough, etc. Fear is our worst enemy. We give fear the power that it has. We live with fear everyday until we know that it is our own creation. Do you choose to live for fear? Is fear your master? Are you less than anyone else? Are you worthy of having much? What is stopping you from living in your dream crib? Watching it on TV won't bring it to you. It's a nice show, but I would rather live in a nice crib than watch one on TV.

Now you don't have to worry about self anymore, how can you help others see the light? That is your new focus. Sharing the light is where true fulfillment exists. It is perfectly ok to enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is more perfect to help others enjoy the fruits just as you have. Getting out from under the dark cloud of circumstance is the most beneficial thing that you can do for others. You did it and you want to help others. You may not know how, but leave that to God. You are not an island and you see the suffering of others just as you suffered for so long. It's your turn to return the favor. You can teach classes; you can offer advice; you can give others a hand up; you can share your wealth; you can teach others about serving God; you can know God and live by example; you can do whatever you choose to do. Know that God supports all that you do as you are a part of Him. Know that God has given you much so that you can share with others.

Put aside yourself and focus on others. You no longer have a need to worry about the rent or the attainment of material things. You are now the servant that God wants you to be. You are the bringer of God to others. You are the brother to all others. You are the sister serving the All. You are greater than you and you have much to give. You live such a life that others want to know your secret. You are the one who is the kindness reflected upon others. You are the guide for others. You are the helper of the poor. You are the wisdom for the unknowing. You are the one who reflects God in everything that you do. You are God and you can do nothing else but be God.

Even if your circumstance finds you homeless, you are not hopeless. Neale found himself homeless and broke and did find a way to overcome his circumstances. It was not until Neale went to God that he truly found himself. It was not until I knocked on God's door that He showed me the light. It was not until you sought to know God that you truly knew God. God is not a place or a circumstance, but a way of life. God is in everything and is without judgment. God is that part of you that is truly you. God is your soul that lives within your body, but is not your body. God is you at the very core of you. God is you and you are God. Claiming your birthright will give you the power to live your life as God intended. Being the God that you are will cause you to demonstrate God to others, which is what God intended.

It is horrible that we live without God and blame Him for our circumstances. We suffer needlessly while not realizing that we are the makers of our own lives. We fail to see that we are driving the car. We fail to see that circumstance is not a punishment beyond our control, but a means to get us where we need to be. If you have never been poor, how can you empathize with those who are poor? If you have never been sick, how can you empathize with the sick? How can you appreciate the circumstance of another if you have never walked in his shoes? How can you help someone whom you cannot even relate to? If you can't understand what another person experiences, how can you offer him a glimpse at the light?

When we are poor, we fail to see the benefit of the experience. When we are suddenly wealthy, then we can appreciate more fully our wealth and have empathy for those who have yet to experience wealth. It is in the giving that we receive. If we see attainment as its own reward, then we will have attainment as the only reward. We will never know the beauty of helping someone else know God. Truly there is no greater joy than seeing someone realize the beauty of her oneness with God. Sure, the angels rejoice over the salvation of one lost soul, but we also rejoice. Our souls rejoice in seeing our own input into the joining of another to the all. A friend of mine told me after the fact that she had prayed every Sunday for eight years for my salvation before I actually accepted Christ into my life. How many of us have that kind of dedication to another? What joy she must have had when she saw me baptized in the river on that Sunday? Never underestimate your contribution to the All and know that everything that you do is great for the all.

If we really are bent on blaming God, then at least give Him the chance to offer a justification. Don't just blame and go. Blame God and listen for His response. Just as we give equal time to our offenders, God deserves His say. So lay out the blame and listen. God will give you some insight like you have never had. He will put it in your face and you will see the light. He will let you know exactly what the deal is and why things happened as they did. Don't be shy – God will defend Himself and show you that you chose what happened. Don't think that the table won't be turned on you. He does this to show us that we do have His power and His control. He lets us know that we are His and He wants for us what we want for us. It's not about blame; it's about understanding and gaining wisdom. If you seek to know, He will let you know. You might just be surprised at what you did to yourself. I know I was and continue to be.

Walking in the light is not easy and requires due diligence. You must be determined to walk with unfailing determination and tenacity. You may get weak or disillusioned at times, but God will bring you back to where you want to be. Things don't happen overnight and we do have to realize that things do take time. Don't let impatience cause you to be disheartened, as I often do. I have to make myself stay focused and keep typing even when my hands hurt or I get bored to tears. Knowing that my purpose is to help others causes me to keep typing, even when I really don't want to. I have to sacrifice for others because much has been given to me. I have to know that God gives the words for the good of all and I can at least take the time to type them, so that you can read them. Many others have typed, so that I can read and learn. I must return the favor.

I can hardly wait for you to return the favor. I wish that I could be there to see your face when the light finally comes on. I wish that I could feel your joy when you realize that God really is there with you and really does care about you. There is no greater joy in this life than to know God as He really is. If you hold to religious interpretations and teachings, then you will never know God the way He wants to be known. Go directly to God and do not let anyone tell you what to do or believe. Ask God directly and He will let you know Him and He will show you that you are Him also. Churches may profess to know God, but many cannot know Him, because to know Him would eliminate the need for the church. God has no need for church. People need church for their own knowing God without effort. You go to church to know God, but instead don't really know God at all. You know what the church teaches about God, but certainly you don't actually know the true God.

This is not to say that church is bad. This is to say choose to go to church if you like, but choose to know God personally. Don't just pray to God and say amen as if it were the end of the interaction. Don't just pray as if making statements were all that were possible. Know that prayer is a two way interaction and that God does talk back. Instead of saying amen, say, "Your thoughts?" Allow God the chance to bring His two cents to the conversation. Going to church is not knowing God. Going to church is simply taking time to offer reverence to God. Taking the time to know God is by far the better pastime. Allowing God to talk to you is far more rewarding than going to church and telling God what you want Him to hear. You can talk to God at home. Why go to church? Granted, the fellowship of church is very inspirational and does offer an opportunity to be with those of like faith; going to church just to talk to God is not necessary. You can talk to God in the car or in the bathtub. You can talk to God anywhere, anytime.

There is no ceremony which God finds greater or lesser than any other. The taking time to be in oneness with God is the only time that God appreciates. If all of the donations given to world religious organizations were spent on making the world a better place, how much better would the world be? If the funds were spent on the poor in the name of God, then the message would be properly conveyed. Instead, we spend our money keeping churches open for the church's sake. I'm not saying that this is bad, as I would rather be in church than a lot of places I have been. A church, open for the purpose of knowing God, is a very great place to be. Joining together with like minded people seeking God can be done outside in a field with no props just as effectively with all of the money going to those who really need it. Isn't this a little more serving of God's purpose than paying the utility company and the choir director and secretary? Picture a church held in a place with no overhead costs and all donations going to the needy. Now that's what God has in mind! That's a church where God can freely attend.

Living in the light is not what many of us imagine. We have put ourselves on pedestals by attending church weekly and by singing in the choir. We can do no wrong during the rest of the week, because whatever we do will be forgiven by our Sunday ritual. We all know those who stand up front in the choir on Sunday and live the worst sort of lives the rest of the week. These pretentious ones are only fooling themselves. They are no more serving God than the worst sort of criminal. They are self serving and are only interested in getting more attention for themselves. Who do they think they are fooling? Is God so blind that he cannot see through their veiled righteousness? Oh please, spare me the laughter. No one is fooled but the person who thinks he is fooling others. They are a sham and a shame to themselves and those who are around them.

It is better to rebuke God than to pretend to love Him. At least be honest. He expects nothing more. If you go to church simply to be seen there, don't waste your time or take up the seat. Spend your time alone worshipping yourself as you already do. Don't give God false worship – He would rather have none. He respects honesty most of all, even if you honestly don't believe that He exists. Living in the light requires honesty. Living honestly gives you the freedom to live as you freely choose. This in no way means that you go around telling everything that you know to everyone that you see. Let's get real – people who ask how you are, really aren't interested in how you are. It's a courtesy question to which a list of life conditions is not really wanted or needed.

Imagine the best person that you know and seek to be more like them. The role model can be very beneficial and helpful when you are at a loss for what to do. If you can't find a living one, use Jesus or someone who presented a great role model in history. We were fortunate enough to live when Mother Teresa lived, so we had a great role model during our life time. There are others, so find the one that touches your heart and follow their example. Aim to be such an example to others. Let your light so shine...

Chapter 7 - Growing In The Light

Once you've seen the light and have learned that the light is a magical way to live, you will want to grow in your understanding about God and His ways. Your spirit will seek to learn ever more about the mysteries of God. You will never look back and seek the old self or your old ways. You will forever be looking forward in search of God's wisdom. If we realize that by experience we learn, then we will seek more beneficial experiences. As you grow spiritually, your experiences will be of a much greater magnitude on a grander scale. No longer will you experience the simpler things like hurt feelings or lost love; you will experience both good and bad (as we call them, but all are good for our growth) experiences which will bring others amazement at our ability to handle them. There is joy beyond belief and grief almost beyond our capability to handle. This is not to say that we will attain maturity, such as Mother Teresa, in this lifetime, but we will be ever more challenged by our experiences as we grow.

We see people who suffer untold tragedies and are awe stricken by their ability to go on afterward. How do they do it? How did Mother Teresa not crumble under the heartbreak of seeing so many sick and suffering? Once you realize that you cannot really suffer in this life and that the purpose of your life is merely an illusion presented for your soul to experience, then you can separate yourself from your body and know that it is simply a suit that the soul puts on and one day will shed. When we are so attached to our lives that we cannot fully live, then we cheat ourselves out of the experiences that we are here to have. Fearing death keeps us from living. If a skydiver never jumps from a plane, then he will never know what it is to experience the thrill of a death defying stunt. If we are filled with fear, we cannot love. To love unconditionally, we must associate no fear with the love that we feel. It is our fear that keeps us tied to our bodies. It is our fear that shackles us to the ground when we could fly high and soar with the eagles.

How many chances to have fun do we miss because we are scared to take the risk? Certainly, there are consequences associated with every action. But, if we live in fear of consequences, then we will never live. If we know that knowing God will show us things in a totally different perspective, fear of the unknown may keep us from fully realizing our spiritual potential. There are things of God which we consider scary. We may not even realize it, but take for example angels. The thought of angels makes us smile and we envision them as friendly and soothing and comforting. If an angel actually walked into the room right now, my heart might just jump out of my body for fear of the unknown. If we were to see the spirits as all around us, we might just resort to tranquilizers to keep us from coding. In many ways, our fear of suffering is greater than our fear of death. In this case, we must see the suffering as a way to experience our strength.

Seeing oneself as separate from the body is difficult, especially when the slightest thing can affect the body. A paper cut can take over in an instant. How do we get to the next level where the body serves a purpose, but is not the purpose? That's a tough one and one that takes time to learn. A change in perspective can shift us only so far. There are things that we learn by our experiences that can no longer affect us. If we suffer the greatest loss that we can imagine, then there will be nothing that can hurt us after that. Hopefully, we don't have to learn this lesson the hard way, as no one wants to experience hardship. But in God's domain, pain is relative and everything is for the best. Let's therefore assume, that we have learned to separate body from self, if only spiritually. Let's imagine that there are two entities instead of one. Put two plates on the dinner table instead of one. Ask the soul what it wants just as you ask your body. This may sound stupid, but follow along until you can know that your soul wants also.

When you can see yourself as two entities, then you can begin to focus on the more important aspects of your life and not just on the mundane physical things. You will soon learn that feeling good takes priority over feeling no pain. You will learn that feeling is the language of the soul and that this language speaks loudest and strongest. The body will cry for attention, but the soul will reverberate deeply inside and its call will be heard. When you get up in the morning, ask your body and your soul what they each want to do. Your soul may say that it wants to experience some nature time and your body may say that it wants to stay in bed and rest. Body loses, soul wins! Really now – does the soul actually ever win? Generally, if we have a choice, we climb back into bed and comfort our aching body with some more rest. Our soul has to go along, because the body won't carry it outside into nature. If the soul doesn't get what it needs, it will let the body know in ways that the body generally doesn't understand. The body will start to feel bad and start to lack focus, and it will want to rest more as it just won't be satisfied.

Until the soul is satisfied, the body will never truly rest. You lie awake at night begging for sleep, but it never comes. Why are you punishing yourself? Give the soul what it wants and it'll return the favor. Add to the mix the mind, and you have a fearsome threesome that keeps you on your toes. The mind wants what it wants also. So, you are pulled in three different directions which leaves you standing still. At least until you bring the three of them together for the common good. You can't satisfy all three unless all three are working together. Your mind wants you to stay home because it isn't safe to go out; the body wants to go but doesn't feel like it; and the soul is bursting to connect with nature. How do you resolve the conflict? What to do? Sit all three down and have a meeting. Discuss all of the options and come to a compromise that works for all. Decide what all really want and you'll find that none of them are far apart. What all three want is to feel good and be happy. The conflict is in the means, not the end. How do we feel good and be happy? We go out into nature (soul) and we don't stay long (body) and we stay in a safe place (mind.) That's working things out to please everyone.

I know that you are laughing your heads off reading this ridiculous scenario. You think that I have absolutely lost my mind for having thought such a ridiculous thing, until you stop to realize that this internal conflict goes on with every choice that you make. You ignore most of it as your internal dialog associated with decision making. You don't see it as conflict, but as part of your problem solving skills. Take a few minutes to work out something for yourself and see if you actually do go through this. I'll wait...

Well, what did you learn about yourself? Perhaps you got a little eye opener or maybe you are still thinking that you don't have internal conflict. If you think that you don't have internal conflict, take some more time. Those of us who realize that we have a constant battle going on, will move on while you seek to know yourself. Realizing that we are in a constant battle with self lets us know that our conflicts don't come from without, they come from within. We must immediately seek to rectify this situation as it is forever pulling us away from our truest desires. The battle rages while we can't understand why our lives are so difficult. Deciding to take control at once, we put our three selves into proper perspective and decide who's really the boss. The real boss is the spirit and the other two must fall in line. Knowing that the body will be shed and the mind only serves to bring the other two into alignment, we put the soul in its proper place at the head of the table.

Your soul does not know anything but God, and is the true leader of you on your spiritual journey. The other two make it possible to experience the things that the soul needs for growth. So, the soul proclaims that it wants to experience the greatest love that it can and the other two willfully go after the experience. The mind ponders where it will find such a love and the body runs around trying to find such a love. They go in opposite directions hoping to find what the soul seeks. They spend time here and there trying to both figure it out and physically find it. They are without luck and their quest has failed. What should they do? They must report back to the leader that their mission has left them empty handed and confused.

The soul is not discouraged as it knows that only with its desire and the compliance of the two others will love be found. It is not in the seeking, but the realization that the experience is had that the soul is comforted. The soul understands that its desires cannot be missed. The soul knows that its desires are fulfilled without fail. The body and the mind are busy working the best that they know how, but are failing because they are looking for love in all the wrong places. The soul understands that the object of its desires are drawn to it purely by its desires. It is not in the seeking that things are found. It is in the knowing that there is no alternative but fulfillment of the soul's desires, that teaches the mind and body to relax and enjoy the ride knowing that the love is on the way.

The mind is not used to such and will fight with all of its might to present doubt to avoid disappointment. The body does what the mind tells it, so it listens and is the demonstration of the mind's fear. It becomes nervous and suffers from the associated stress. It starts to get sick from all the worry of the mind and the internal conflict. The fear conjured up by the mind keeps the body restless and unhealthy. The mind just can't believe what the soul is telling it, and the body doesn't know any different than what the mind tells it. Years pass and the body is becoming more and more sickly and the mind is in a constant panic filled with worry and disbelief. It is not until the mind and body give way to the soul that true healing begins and the union of the three produces the fulfillment of desires. The inner conflict is no more and the three are one as it was meant to be.

Just as God is considered three, so is man. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are the three components of God. The mind, body and spirit are the three components of man. All are the same and all are really part of the one. None can exist without the other in this life, and therefore none is truly separate. When all are joined together, the oneness is complete and purposeful accomplishment is possible. This is a state of tranquility that defies our reason and does make us appear peaceful as never before. This is the first sign that we are maturing spiritually and are growing in the light. Our conscious choice brings forth this unison and does bring about the receipt of all that God has to offer. The soul now feels that it is one with God in its rightful place. There is no peace like God's peace and the soul has finally found its peace.

Haven't you ever wondered why Mother Teresa or the Dali Llama seems so peaceful? Have you ever wanted to be as peaceful as them? How do they achieve such peace that it is exhibited continuously? This is one of life's great mysteries, but it is really no mystery at all. If you see everything as simply an experiential illusion created for your soul's growth, then you will not be so thrown by the experience. If you know that your soul attracted all that it experiences, then you will be able to enjoy every experience. If you had a perfect life as you imagine it to be, what would you really learn? It is not by one experience that the soul is matured. It is by the many varied experiences that your soul grows toward Godliness. How you see life and its experiences is a clear demonstration of your spiritual maturity.

If you are still blaming God for punishing you, you have far to go toward spiritual fulfillment. If you understand that people die when they are ready and that they aren't really dead spiritually, then you are beginning to see things through God's eyes. The illusion of life is so very real that we believe that it is all that there is. We lose sight of our soul in favor of our physical selves. The thought of losing our physical selves begins to take over and we are wrought with fear and misery. A spiritual master knows that this physical life is but a product for our soul's experience. This life and the others to follow are but a product of our creation. As soon as we are finished with this life, we will have time to reflect on this life and choose another if we need to. If we believe that this is our only shot at life, then we will hold on so tightly to the physical that we lose the spiritual.

When you realize after death that you spent your entire physical life fearing what was unimportant, you will just have to do it again so that you don't waste the next one. You will have missed your purpose and will not have gained what you came to gain. If you choose to believe that this is your only shot at life, go right ahead and worry your life away. Like a squirrel putting up nuts for the winter, you will spend your entire life trying to get all you will ever need. Before you know it, you'll pass from this life with a tree full of nuts. And that'll be your reward for a life spent in the worry of not having enough. When it is too late we cannot change our path. Upon the realization that we are dying is generally not the best time to have regrets. Let's stop now and have our regrets. Let's think of all that we have done which has not served us well. Let's decide right now what we want to do differently. Let's get in touch with our souls and get some real direction for the future.

Getting in touch with your soul is not as difficult as you might imagine. The hardest part is getting the mind to shut up while the soul talks. Our minds are quite the attention seekers and want to hog all the air time. We have to find ways to muzzle the mind and let the soul express itself freely. There are many different meditation techniques, so you'll have to find the one that suits you best. There are those who say that they meditate best when they are working on their hobbies. There are those who say that they really get in touch with their souls when they are driving to or from work. The method doesn't matter. The taking time to listen is vitally important. If your mediation is simply writing down your thoughts, then allow your truest thoughts to flow forth. Don't let your mind and its favorite child fear takeover the meditation.

The objective is peace and happiness. Start there. Think of those things that bring you the greatest peace and joy. Think of your family or your hobby or your pets or whatever you enjoy. Fill your thoughts with happiness and joy. Do this at least once a day and then more often as you get better at it. Take five at work to day dream about your happiness. Go ahead, no one's looking. Soon this exercise time will be the best time of your day. Soon you will get more in touch with yourself and you will suddenly know your truest self instantly all the time. Practice makes perfect. This is the same for meditation, prayer and walking and growing in the light. All things require practice if we are to commit them to our daily lives. Just as committing to exercise each day requires a determination to get up and exercise, the same is true of meditation. After practice, it becomes automatic.

Purposeful meditation is a staple of life that your soul needs for nourishment. It gives the soul the leadership opportunity that it needs to be able to let the mind and body know the direction for the three. Walking in the light is walking in the direction of the soul which is God inside of you. If you truly want to walk in the light, you must listen to your soul and follow its direction. Meditation is the means to hear the soul's direction and guidance. Meditation is not necessarily the easiest thing to learn, but with practice it becomes easier.

Sitting in front of a candle is easy – hearing your soul is a little more difficult. Stopping your internal dialog is the hardest part – you mind has to shut up and let the soul talk. As I have an attention span shortage, I have a little more trouble than some. I really have to focus to get the internal dialog to stop. If I lose focus, I'll be thinking about what I need to do tomorrow or reflecting on some memory. Our threesome needs exercise just like our bodies do. We have to learn to listen and to really pay attention. Just as our bodies let us know when we are hungry, our minds tell us when we need to pay attention and our souls tell us when we need to get in the light.

If you think about it, the soul talks to us through our gut feelings. Your first impulse is usually the best. It's when you let your mind do the thinking that you talk yourself into or out of what you really wanted or needed. Your mind is keen on self preservation and will talk you out of fun every time. Your mind, left to its own devices, will have you acting like a robot of safety and comfort. Oh my, isn't that what I am right now? And I thought that I was really smart to keep the mayhem out of my life. Is it really that smart to remain idle? Where's the fun in that? Actually, my mind control has left me feeling rather bored. Sure, I have safety and comfort but I don't have very much fun. Where's the happy medium between fun and self preservation? I'll have to change my way of thinking in order to get out of the robot mode. I don't really want to be a robot. I want to live life to the fullest and by doing so, I must assume some risks.

Living life to the fullest is challenging until you realize the secrets to getting the most out of life. Your soul knows what you desire most and will let you know if you are in contact with your truest self. Your feelings are your barometer of truest desires and will let you know when the threesome is in unity. There is no other way to tell except that the unity is demonstrated by extreme peace. There is an almost euphoric complacency that follows and you almost wonder why you feel so good. You are stricken by the peace that you have never or rarely felt before. You are at a loss to explain the cause, but enjoy the feeling so much that you only want for more. This peace is your symbol that you have attained your greatest desires and you are resting in the spirit for having achieved your destiny.

This sense of peace is not an indication that you have experienced all that you will of your desires, but indicates that you are in line for your perfect fulfillment. You some how know that all is going according to the master plan and you are content in the knowing that all is well. You may not see all that is to come, but you know that it is on the way. Your peace comes from knowing that you are where you should be at this very moment. This peace is the oneness with God that your soul rests upon and your goal soon becomes keeping yourself in this state of peace so that you can remain as one with the All. You never again want to feel the highs and lows as before – you want to remain where you feel the greatest sense of peace, as only there will you truly know self and satisfaction.

This is not to say that achieving this peace will make the rest of your life peaceful. This peace will serve as a roadmap for the rest of your life and will let you know when you are not in oneness as is your soul's desire. Your effort to keep the peace is required and you must grow in your ability to maintain a peaceful existence even in the face of great hardship. If you are one with God, then you will know that this is possible. If you know that there is nothing that can truly hurt you, then you will live freely in God's peace. Understand that your body can be hurt and your feelings can be hurt, but your truest inner being cannot ever be hurt. This is where God lives and this is where your soul is. This is a by-product of the knowledge that our bodies serve us and not the other way around. If you live for your body, then your soul will lack. Yes, your body will die but relish in the knowledge that your soul never will. Put aside worldly things and living for the physical. Give your body what it needs so that it can serve you.

Your greatest desires are of service and unity with the All. Live your life accordingly and you won't feel all of those ups and downs. Once you know that you are an equal partner with God, you will begin to see how He works in your life every day to see that you have what you need. He will not let you do without the tools to serve your purpose. Once you start living with purpose, you will realize that God wants your fulfillment just as much as you do. He does not judge and yes, He will let you make mistakes if you choose. We must be ever diligent in our seeking of God's advice and guidance so that we won't lead ourselves astray. Left to my own devices, I often make mistakes. When I ask God to lead the way, I find that I make much better choices. God will not interfere in your life until you invite Him to as He has given you free will. Do yourself a favor and let God know that He is your guidepost and tour leader. He will keep you on the best path to your fulfillment.

The less time that we spend in oneness, the more time we have to spend soul searching. The more we become in tune with our souls, the less we seek oneness, because it comes automatically. When we are spiritually immature, we constantly seek God's intervention in our lives. As we mature, we realize that we are God and that we know how to do our own intervention, but really enjoy feeling God's love. As a spiritual master, we know that we are God and that we are constantly tuned in to the All and have no need to ask for anything of anyone. We realize that we are all one in the same with God. We simply give thanks. Remember all those times you spent on your knees begging God for things and never really feeling in touch with Him? As you grow spiritually, you begin to feel His presence more and more, until you cannot not feel His presence. There comes a time when you are one and are always on line.

There are those who seem to live constantly in God's peace. They are not thrown between the highs and lows of life and see everything as a gift. God wants every soul to realize the gifts in everything. If we see a gift as a punishment, then we have missed the true purpose of the gift. The realization that you are above all circumstances you experience, will bring you a peace that you have never felt. It is good to spend time with God – in fact, I recommend that you interact many, many times with God during each day, at least to say hello. God just loves the attention as we do. He wants to know that we appreciate Him just as He appreciates us. Get up in the morning and listen for God's hello. Go to sleep at night after having said good night to God. This literal acknowledgment will keep you in the oneness and will give you such peace and comfort. God loves to be loved just as we love to be loved.

Life is a journey of the soul, and with maturity we learn that we are here serving our soul's purposes. We learn that we are not here to attend school or learn to drive a car or work our fingers to the bone. These things may be part of the process, but are not the purpose. We often lose sight of our created lives when we focus on the daily business at hand. Soon, we lose sight of our purposes and become workers and parents. We lose track of our spiritual purpose in favor of our lower purposes of living. This is really sad, but it has happened to me and I'm sure I'm not alone. How did I become lulled into thinking that my job was my life? Losing my job has shown me that the job was not my life and that I have much life to live. I don't want to become swallowed up in another job as I have been in the past. I want to live and walk in the light of God's peace and happiness. There was nothing about that job or any other that brought me such peace and joy. I have now to make choices for my spiritual development rather than for my physical satisfaction.

It is not easy to change forty years of direction, but my soul begs my attention. I must get back on the path that I left so very long ago. I must reconnect with myself and find the fulfillment of my soul. I must put my efforts in the service of others as my soul cries for me to do. Granted, my jobs have provided service to others, but rarely in a spiritual sense. I desire more of God's peace and am determined to live my life as a demonstration of the light. I have chosen to get more out of life than a paycheck. I have chosen to serve the All, so that my soul may have peace and joy as never before. I have recently become aware of the peace demonstrated by those who do what brings them joy. You've seen these people and they make you smile just as a byproduct of their happiness. Ever watch Emeril on TV? Doesn't he seem to have the greatest joy in what he does? Doing what he loves brings him nothing but success. Think of others and see the outside representation of the inside. Look at a person's face and read his soul. I want to be happy like those who are doing what they love. I want my face to read divine peace and happiness.

The right livelihood as Neale says is one that brings perfection to your life. When you are doing what pleases the All, you cannot help but demonstrate the love that you feel. Simply having a job can never be the right livelihood. Having a job that puts you in tune with your greatest desires is the right livelihood. Think about all of the people who put so much into their hobbies, but never make their hobbies their work. If everyone who loved woodworking could suddenly make a living woodworking, how much happier would they be? Those performers who seem so happy with what they do are the ones who put their hobbies to work. If you love to sing, then make singing your work. If you love collecting dolls, then make your work collecting dolls. Granted, it may take some effort, but it can be done. Only when you are in sync with your greatest desires will you find your peace.

Oh, you just know that you'll never be like Frank Sinatra and maybe you won't. But, you can find a way to put your desires into action. God helps if you let Him. He knows what you want and need. He can find a way even when you have exhausted your best efforts. Where there is a will, there is a way. Haven't you heard stories of how someone went to Nashville and tried and tried to get a recording contract without success, until suddenly someone bumped into them in the most unexpected place and time? God works things out for us when we let Him. There is no limit to what can be done when God gets the call for help. Movie stars aren't born, they are created. Create yourself the reality of your dreams. Call up God and get started. There is nothing impossible for God and nothing that cannot be created to fulfill your purpose.

The first step is getting in touch with your desires and realizing what your purpose is. God will help if you ask. Letting God do the hard stuff, with you as the intent follower, will bring you to the place and means of your desire fulfillment. You can be whatever you choose, so you don't have a minute to waste. Get in touch with yourself and start living your life with passion and excitement. Don't let life pass you by. Don't let your seemingly impossible desires cause you to miss the boat. Get on board and start living as God intended you to live with peace and happiness. If at this very moment you are not doing what you want to do, do something else. Make the choice to do what you really want to do. Find your happiness right now. Don't settle for less by remaining in your current circumstance unless you are satisfied with what you have. I personally want much more out of life and fully intend to have it.

God has shown me the wonder of His ways and that the fulfillment of my dreams is within my reach. Yeah, I needed a boost to overcome my circumstance and He was only too happy to kick me where I needed it. Misery begets misery. Happiness begets happiness. Realizing what you truly desire will put you on the road to having all that you desire. If you need education, there is training available to all who choose it. If you need financial assistance, it is available to those who choose it. If you choose to turn your hobby into your livelihood, then there are resources available to help you. Sure, it sounds optimistic but everything is possible. Do some research and find that many have done so before you. God will make the way to your desire fulfillment. Don't take no for an answer. Think of all of the people who always wanted to own their own business who actually do now. They once had a dream and refused to settle for less. Why should you settle for less? I refuse to settle for less any more. I hope that you follow my lead.

Chapter 8 - Living The Dream

Ok, now you've finally gotten in touch with yourself and have realized your desires. You now know that you are destined for greatness. You are living and growing in the light. You know that you want more out of life and you are ready to put your dreams into action. You've done the research and you are on your way. God has given you the guidance you needed to take the first steps and you are nothing but one step away from realization. You are filled with excitement and energy as never before. You are the demonstration of your fulfillment. You are living proof that anything is possible and you are ready to serve the All. You are the All and are no longer drawn to physical things. You are spiritual and the master of your destiny. You are no longer satisfied with less than all. You know what you are and you know what your purpose is. You can't settle for less any more. You won't settle for less any more. You are all that you can be.

I suspect that you and God have had some great chats and have come to a good understanding about you and your desires. I feel certain that you have made contact with your truest self and now know that you are more than a job or a circumstance. You stop to realize that really you are no different than you were, but some how you are nothing like you were. Your entire attitude and perception has changed, but you are still driving the same old car living in the same old house. What's different, you ask? You have hope when before you didn't. You have experienced God and deeply know that He intends that you have what you desire. You have a confidence as never before that you are God and that you can be or do whatever you choose. When you know that you are God, you simply cannot settle for less. God does not settle for less.

As God, you see that life is merely a created illusion for your fulfillment. You are no longer attached to those things that you thought would bring you fulfillment. You know that you will have a new car in spite of not having seen it. You know that your new house is on the way – it's almost as if you've ordered your new life and are waiting on the mail service to deliver it. Of course, it won't come via the mail service, but will come on God's Delivery System (GDS) and will be a realization beyond your imaginings. You aren't distracted by the details; you know inside that it is on the way. You can't explain the feeling, but God has given you His assurance that it is, so you just know that it is. You have stated your expectations for your life and have turned it over to God. You have let go and let God. This is the essence of faith and the means to the end.

You have listened intently to God's guidance and know that you are destined to a purposeful life in the service of others. I can't be more specific with your particular purpose, but you know what it is. I know what mine is. You know that there is nothing that can stop you from the fulfillment of your purpose. Those who have fulfilled their purposes are the ones who have listened to God's guidance and have believed fully that He creates what we need to be fulfilled. God says in this way, we are the creators of our lives. He doesn't choose for us – we choose and He makes it happen.

There are people who were sitting in their old houses with meager circumstances who were given guidance by God that they would one day teach millions about God. After they stopped laughing, they got serious and began taking one step after another until their purpose was fulfilled. Many times we cannot see what or how our purposes will be fulfilled. We have to put our faith in God and know that serving our purpose is what He wants for us. By choosing to serve others, we cannot fail. Somehow, God gives us the inspiration to proceed toward that which we cannot see. Just as I sit here now and write, I do not know the road ahead, but am filled with the joy of this moment and know that God has a plan for me.

If I sit and waste time imagining what is ahead, I will not be fulfilling my purpose. My purpose is to write as God directs, not to try to know what He has in mind. Surely, I am curious and would love to see the future. I'm human and like to know that I'm not crazy or delusional. Somewhere deep inside I know that it doesn't matter what is ahead – what matters is that I'm not satisfied unless I'm writing as God has directed. The rest of my life is merely an exercise in futility. I am drawn to this writing as I have not been drawn to any other occupation in my life. Why? I'm not getting paid to write this. What's in it for me? At this point, only peace of mind, body and spirit. I write because God told me to, and write I must. Do I believe that God would have me waste my time by writing? No, I do not. I believe that God has a greater purpose for me and this writing is part of His action plan.

As with any fulfillment, I find fulfillment simply in the writing. If nothing ever comes of my writing, I am amazed that it has happened and I am satisfied with the product. I do not believe for one minute that nothing more will come from this writing. I do not believe that God gave me the inspiration and words for them to only benefit me. Maybe I'm a dreamer or a lunatic, but I have felt God's words touch my soul and I am heading in the direction of my dreams. I have nothing else to go on, but I go forward nonetheless. I know that I am on the path and am ready for GDS to bring my stuff.

I trust that you are doing the same. I trust that you have done your part and are waiting on GDS to bring your stuff. Having left I behind, you suddenly feel the presence of those who are calling you to service. Everywhere you go, you seem to sense the need for your service. It's as if a great magnet pulls you into the place where you are needed. You realize that you are simply checking off experiences which are the fulfillment of your desires. God puts you in places that you never imagined, but when there, you are strangely aware of why you are there. You seem to see a higher purpose. If you are only in a store for groceries, you seem to know that you are there for more than food. You are keenly aware that God uses you at will and the needy are drawn to you. You are amazed at how things are working in your life, and cannot explain them as anything but God's interactions.

I find that everyday I am amazed by something that happens to me. I instantly realize that God is schooling me for the task ahead. He is teaching me lessons as I go, which will be useful in the future. He is showing me the great sadness that abounds all around me. He shows me the great need for purposeful lives and fulfillment. He shows me that people suffer much and that there is a great need for a caring soul to help. He allows me to have great empathy for others, so that I can be genuinely helpful to them. He is teaching me and I am grateful that I am learning and He is teaching me.

I have always tried to learn from my experiences, so that I can be a better person. I try to not make the same mistakes twice and I always strive to be helpful. Granted, sometimes I fail, but not for a lack of trying. God is not as concerned about the results as He is about the effort. He is more interested in my earnest attempts to be helpful than in the results of my actions. God understands that you can't change people or make them what you want them to be. He knows all too well that you can only give your best to others and let go after that. If you are results oriented, then you will be disappointed. If you are effort oriented, then you will always be fulfilled. You can't save someone's soul nor can you make someone happy. You can try. You can do what you can, but then you must let go. You are God, but everyone else is also. You can't make God do anything, just as the other Gods around you can't make you do anything. Don't get wrapped up in results – get wrapped up in the service. This is a very important lesson for those who seek to serve others. Do what you can and move on.

If your service involves helping the dying, you understand that you can't save a person's life. Hospice workers know this very well and do what they can to make the end as pleasant as possible. This is an extreme example, but one that speaks volumes to me. I know that by working with young people, you do not have any more success than the person chooses to have. You can educate someone, but you can't make them work. There is a point where you have to let go and let God. You have to build the boat and put it out to sea. You have to write the book and send it off for publishing. You have to love your kids and send them off to college. Think of how you have experienced this all of your lives. It can be painful, but if you know that you've given your best, then there is nothing else to give. You may be a suicide counselor who finds out that someone committed suicide in spite of your best efforts. You may be a doctor who couldn't save a heart patient. You may be a teacher who couldn't teach Jessica to read. Did you do your best in service to others? If your answer is yes, then you have served them well.

It is our nature to always question ourselves. Could we have done more? Did we do the right thing? How can we improve? What's the lesson here? It is good to learn and in the learning we do improve. But when the deed is done, if you did your best then you are done. Don't waste time agonizing over what you could have done better. It's over so move on. Your next experience will be improved and you will learn with each experience. Mother Teresa wasn't born a Saint – she was a Saint created. Give yourself a break and do only what you can. Don't ever give up on yourself – you are God and can do no wrong. You can make unwise choices, but you can do no wrong. With age comes wisdom and you learn to serve better as you practice. Sometimes we get so excited that we dash out to save the world, only to find that we can't even save ourselves. Let not your goal be results, but effort. Always give it your best. Always.

This is the essence of living your life without regrets. When you are confident that you have done all that you can, you will not have regrets. You shouldn't have regrets as you cannot change the past. Don't waste time looking back. Always look forward. Always seek the road ahead. Always look toward opportunities for your service. Sure, there are mistakes in the past and we use them to learn. Don't dwell on them for they will serve you no further. Go forward toward the light. No, you aren't dying yet, but your life's goal is to be in the light, to walk in the light and to share the light with others.

My present circumstance is no reflection of my future circumstance. How do I know this? I know that in this life, nothing is forever and everything is temporary. If everything is temporary, then why do I assume that everything will stay the same? Change is inevitable in spite our best efforts against it. If you know that everything changes, then why not make the best changes possible? Why not grab all the gusto that you can? Why not seek more and better? Why not live as the God that you are? Is there shame in having much? Is it pretentious to want more than you have? Pride cometh before the fall. Money is the root of all evil. What? Good people must be poor? Who said that? I have a little trouble buying into that one. I would rather think that good people deserve to be rich far more than bad people (there are no good or bad people, just people.) I think that I deserve to have all that God can give because I am God. Why should I settle for less? I can't do much with little, so I need a lot.

God told Neale that it was Neale's guilt about having much that caused him to have little. I was taught much like Neale was, that we shouldn't ask for much – that God would give us what we needed. God tells Neale a different story and tells Neale to choose success and he will have it. Hmmm, I never even imagined that it was possible to have more than God wanted you to have. I thought that living modestly was Godly. I thought that we weren't supposed to ask for more than we needed. Why is God telling us to ask for all that we want? Why was Neale suffering for having believed that he shouldn't ask for more? Have you settled for less than you wanted? I know that I have and I'm turning over a new leaf. If God tells us to deserve what we choose, then I choose to be extremely wealthy. I choose to never have to worry about money again. I choose to live in the beach house of my dreams. I choose to be able to serve my purpose without having to worry about mundane life things such as money or paying the bills.

God's previous lessons about money are valid. We should not seek money for its own sake. We should choose to have money for the fulfillment of our purposes. We should choose to have what we need to be what we choose to be. We should not choose to have money merely to rub it in the faces of those who don't have money. We should use our money to teach others how to get their own money. Spread the wealth – God has plenty to give. If your primary focus is money, then you are a lost soul. If you don't choose to worry about money, then you are letting God handle the details. He knows what you need and is willing to give it to you. Don't seek money as a means of influencing people; you can never make people what you want them to be. Don't seek money as a means of buying influence; there is no influence that you need and God can't be bought. Seek what you need to fulfill your purpose of serving others. To whom much is given, much is expected!

God just dropped a lovely analogy on me about my lack of great success. He told me to imagine that my river of success was barely a trickle because the flow was dammed up by a wad of self doubt. Having been told repeatedly as a child that I would never amount to anything caused me to doubt that I actually could. He told me to let go of that self doubt and the river would flow freely. Wow – that's an eye opener for the old self. So, this very moment, I choose to uncork the river of success and put away all self doubt. GDS better get a move on because I'm ready for the good stuff! Katy, bar the door.

Self doubt and low self esteem are literally success killers. Realizing this and making some changes in your thought process can open new doors for you. I have struggled all my life just to make a decent living while others simply glide through life and amass millions. What's the difference? God says that it is our lack of worthiness that keeps us from what we want. I always thought that I got what I deserved based on the effort I put forth. Now, I'm thinking that perhaps what I have is directly proportional to what I think I deserve regardless of effort. Can this be true? God says that it is and I know that my best efforts only yield modest results, so I'm ready to try a new approach to success. I want it all and will not settle for less. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

What's your reason for your circumstance? Are you satisfied with what you have? Would you just kill for a new TV? Has the old car seen better days? Is your house a fixer upper whose only hope is a complete overhaul? Are you a fixer upper in need of a complete overhaul? I was but am no more. The overhaul has started and I am nothing like before. I have swept out the cobwebs from the attic; I have cleaned out the interior spaces of negativity build up; I have overhauled the motor by improving my diet; I have taken on a new positive outlook; I have allowed my soul to be the general contractor; and have given God the keys to the front door. I can honestly say that I did need a major overhaul. God knew it and took me through it. Until I breathe my last breath, the overhaul will be ongoing. Don't think that suddenly I have achieved completeness or perfection. I'm a work in progress and God is busy cleaning house. I still need some body work and probably a paint job, but I'm on the road to recovery.

What about you? Has your overhaul gotten underway? Perhaps you don't see the need for an overhaul as you are the picture of perfection. If this is so, throw down this book at once and run to your nearest modeling agency. If you could use a tune up, then get busy and put God on the case. He'll show you where the dust bunnies are hiding and where the crud buildups are holding you back. God has a cleaning system that puts a shame on any other. God can get in the nooks and crannies where the really bad stuff hides. Let Him in and turn Him loose. I promise you that you will not be the same and the price is very reasonable.

We underestimate the power of our past experiences in our present experiences. We bring forward negativity and what I like to call "yick" that we harbor unknowingly. Once we get the yick of the past cleaned out of our systems, then we can see clearly how to move forward with no reservations. Things that are said to us with good intentions can have bad results. Criticisms aimed at us which are blasted without concern for consequences can have devastating effects on our lives. If we don't realize that we are unsuccessful because of something that was said to us when we were young, then we will forever be prisoners to our self doubt. We must get rid of the yick buildup and move on.

We must put aside negative thoughts that can never serve our best interest. We must be willing to take chances and allow God to do His magic in our lives. If we feel that we don't deserve, then we will never be worthy. Know that you are what you think you are – whether you realize it or not. If you see yourself as a loser with no ambition, then you are. If you see yourself as a winner with much ambition, then you are. The only difference is perception, but the different perception can have far reaching results. If you see yourself as a winner, then you will dress like a winner and walk like a winner. If you dress like a winner and walk like a winner, then you'll have success like a winner. The cycle continues. See yourself as what you want to be and proceed to behave accordingly.

God told me one day to try an experiment – act today like the God that you are. Now, I had a little trouble with that one at first. Soon, I was issuing proclamations to the heavens about what was and is and is to be. I wasn't so bold as to run around announcing myself to others as God lest I be locked up. It was a good experiment in that it demonstrated how thoughts translate to behavior. If you think like a superstar, then you will be a superstar. I know this sounds a little far fetched, but do some experimenting for yourself. Try to not be so over zealous that you get locked up for mental illness. Keep it in perspective and see how it works. Your thoughts are creative, so use them wisely. Create yourself as you desire. Know that thoughts can't take years off your body, but they can make you act much younger. I wish I could think away some wrinkles and a few sagging parts, but I'll have to be creative with what I have and appreciate all that I have.

Are you getting the picture yet? Need I go further on the subject of living your dreams? I fear that by trying to explain it further might cheat you out of the creativity of the experience. It's time for you to do some homework. It's time for you to do some experimenting on your own. It's time for you to dream the dreams and live the dreams.

Chapter 9 - A Higher Purpose

After you have dumped the "I" and have decided to grow spiritually, you are joined by others who have similar aspirations. In a magical way, you are drawn to like souls who share a common vision. You are brought together for the common good and the service of the All. When once you served self, now you serve the All by serving others. Your purpose is brought forth by the knowledge that you are at total peace with your soul's desires. You leave behind those who served your previous purposes and are attracted to those who will now become a part of your new journey. In almost the blink of an eye, you are transformed into another person surrounded by new people who share your passion for purpose.

You realize that the people drawn to you are sent with a definite purpose and are not accidentally crossing your path. You somehow understand that the universe does work for the greater purpose and does make things happen according to the good of the All. You are inspired by the realization that you are part of something larger than life. You know that you have knowingly joined the service of the one and the All and that all are working together to serve the higher purpose. Once you have left I behind, you begin walking with others and see that the one is less and less important than the All. Your new thinking focuses on the All and doing what is desired by the All.

You are no longer worried about paying the bills, but are now focused on making a real contribution to the world. You are more interested in how best to use your talents to serve the entire population than to simply serve yourself. You know that self is taken care of, if it chooses to serve the higher purpose. You know that God takes care of His own when they work for Him. You are flooded with thoughts of how you can make a difference. When once your vision was to make the most of yourself; now your vision is focused on how to make a difference in the world. You see that you are larger than you ever imagined. You see that you have the potential to touch many, not just a few. You see that you are a part of God, sent to bring others to the knowledge of God. You are a person who has seen the light and wishes to share it far and wide.

No longer are you satisfied to simply bring home the bacon. You want to bring God to as many as possible, and no longer worry about how or when to bring home the bacon. You know that God takes care of the bacon and you have to focus on the light and shining it forth to as many as possible. You are larger than life and feel a higher calling. You are drawn by different forces than you have ever been before. You know that you are part of the one and the All. You seek more and greater than ever before. You can no longer waste your time in selfish pursuits. You are God doing God's work. You want everyone to find what you know is God. You want to help others find God's peace and purpose. You are a visionary and a servant.

When you never knew that you could do so much, you now can't imagine doing less. You feel compassion for all and joy in everything. You know that life is just an avenue and not a destination. You know that the suffering of others is but a manner of spiritual growth. You put aside your old ways and are a new creation. You look for ways to give your all to the All. You don't really know how, but you know that you are making a difference. You realize that people cross your path for a reason. You realize that nothing happens by accident. You are aware of the workings of the universe for the common good. You know that you are the one sent to make a difference in all who know you. You are not a circumstance or a position – you are everything that you dream of being.

You find joy in everything and fulfillment in everyone. You know that every person matters and that every life is just as your own. You feel a kinship with others that keeps your attention away from self. You have a driving internal need to be there for others. You can no longer spend time on self – you must spend your time on others. You realize that you are one of the fortunate ones who have seen the light and have found God's peace. You no longer want the old things for the old reasons; you want new things and great things and work toward that end. You realize that your time is short and you must work tirelessly to give as much as you can to the world. You know that by touching one, you touch all. You know that by touching many, there are many more to touch. God knows no bounds and you are His mouthpiece. You are the one who can make a difference.

You may slip in your faith and sometimes wonder how you can make a difference. You may doubt your abilities and your commitment to serve. You may have a life experience that brings you down and fills you with doubt. You may stumble and fall, but you will never return to your old self. Once you've seen the light, you can't go back. You are human to a certain extent and you are compelled by worldly things. You can't totally separate yourself from life until your death, so don't get wrapped up in guilt and weakness. God knows what you need and will give abundantly. God knows that you have chosen to serve and He will not let you fall away from Him and His purpose. Don't let a little moment of weakness get you down; you are what you are and you will suffer from human weakness. Know that your weakness serves to make you stronger and you will be less likely to succumb to further weakness. This is why we grow spiritually and are not automatically grown. It is in the growth process that we become who we are.

Allowing yourself to give up when things are down is not a growth realization. Seeing all situations as growth opportunities will free you to see the beauty of how the universe works. Once you realize that all of life and life itself is temporary, then you can start to live with purpose. Living with purpose opens up a new way of life that brings forth opportunities for growth that you never imagined possible. This new experience makes you almost a bit player in a great movie. You stand still and watch things come to you as if by magic. Things are drawn to you by virtue of your need to serve. Surely, standing still is not what you should do, but it seems as if this is all that is really required of you. Like attracts like – if you need to serve, then those needing service will come to you. Those with similar interests will also be drawn to you and you to them.

Remember how you always thought that your life was a random series of events and you met people by accident? Suddenly, you realize that there are no accidents and that something caused your current experience. You are no longer a watcher of life, but are a maker of life. This is hard to accept because it puts responsibility back on you where you least want it to be. We like to think that we are responsible, but let something go wrong and suddenly we are not responsible. We place blame everywhere but in the mirror. Being responsible is scary and we feel less than adequate to handle responsibility knowingly. Yet, we don't give a second thought to having children who come with great responsibility. The thought of being responsible for doing God's work makes us squirm. That's really too much for us – we are not capable of handling such a responsibility. Who are we to do God's work? Are we crazy? What makes us think that we can do such a thing?

Don't waste your time in this silliness – know that you are capable and worthy and God will put you to work serving His souls. Know that God can do anything with anyone. There is nothing impossible for a willing soul. If you doubt God, then perhaps you are reading the wrong book. You might want to go back to the fundamentals and start over. This is not to say that until we are totally one that we will not have some doubts, but if you doubt God's ability, then you have much to learn before learning to be God. I have doubts today that God will do what I think He needs to.

It is my expectations about my life that cause me to doubt. I have no doubt that God will use me as He sees fit. I doubt sometimes that I can have what I want or my own abilities. I never doubt God's ability – I've seen too much action on God's part to even think that God can't do anything that He chooses. I have a little trouble knowing what He chooses until I really get to the heart of the matter, and then I know that He chooses according to the fulfillment of the all. I may not understand at the time what He is choosing to do, but eventually I always see the wisdom of His works.

Much of faith has to do with letting God do what He knows is best. We let fear get in the way when we don't understand what God is doing. The master plan is always full of awe when we can look back and see the big picture. As we grow, we become more in tune to the ways of God and become more instantly aware of Him and His ways. Sure, I doubt, you doubt, we all doubt at times. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I can whip up a frenzy of fear in an instant, if I allow myself the time. It is important that I get rid of fear when I first know that it is there. I've learned to put negativity out of my mind by saying:

Negativity Be Gone!

Peacefulness Come Home!

It works for me. Make up your own negativity buster. Once you realize that fear only has the power that you give it, then you can cast it away with the simple choice to do so. This was a life altering realization for me – I don't have to be at the mercy of fear. Fear is my own creation and it has no place in my life. Choosing to no longer be controlled by fear opens me up to a life of freedom and inspiration.

It is difficult to break out of our old habits. Facing each negative habit one at a time gives us the knowledge of the habit, why we do it and what purpose it serves in our lives. Once we realize that we don't need the negative habit, then we can put the habit away. Give it to God and let Him take away your perceived need and its control over you. We all have negative habits which have grown into prominence in our lives. We must get rid of them before we can truly be free to serve freely. I, like everyone else, have my crosses to bear. I too have to release the power that I have given to negativity and learn to live free of them. Yes, it's tough. Once you realize that you are better off without them, then you see the beauty of being without them.

There are habits that we acquire intentionally or unintentionally. We seem to need crutches in our lives to help us cope. Once we realize that we really don't need crutches, then we can start to live without them. Detox programs were created for a reason and not simply as a money maker. If we think of counselors as providing mental detox programs, then we can see that perhaps we all need a little detox at times. It is not only the alcoholic who needs help; most of us do. If our worst habit is negative thinking, then we still are as addicted as any alcoholic. Don't underestimate the power of fear to rule your life regardless of the vehicle it chooses.

Start your own detox program by first knowing that you have addictions. Name your addiction; recognize its symptoms; know its power; choose to let go of it; and give it to God. If you need additional help, then by all means get it. God doesn't want you to suffer – He wants you to live freely. Stress addiction is one of the most deadly habits but the least recognized. Look within yourself and know that you are controlled by negativity in some way. Turn it loose by choosing to turn it loose. It may not go away instantly – miracles do happen, but are not that often recognized. Don't beat yourself up if you need a little more time. God is patient, so you should be also. God knows what you want and need, so allow Him to help you. Be kind to yourself and seek God's assistance.

Allow yourself to be the very enlightenment that you seek. Throw away all of your preconceived notions about yourself and allow the inner being to emerge. Be attached to nothing from the past and allow the now to be all there is. Open yourself up to the possibilities of all that you can imagine and even more. Be a blank slate on which God writes the course of your journey. Allowing God to choose the details of your purposeful fulfillment gives you the freedom to live each moment to the fullest. Don't strive to impose your will on the higher purpose. Your will interferes with perfection and causes you to be distracted along the way. Yes, it is your will to serve; therefore, you are the creator of the path. The details are those supplied by God for the perfect fulfillment of your purpose along the path of your life.

It is difficult to let go and let God give you what you need. In fact, it is almost impossible. It goes against everything that we have been taught about our obligation to make a life and a living. We are inherently driven to inflict our efforts onto the path of life. We see that this is our part of the journey. God helps those who help themselves, so we must do the work. There is a lesson to be learned in how to shift focus from what we have been taught to what we are now seeking to understand. Our deciding to serve is our part done. Allowing God to do His part is the new lesson to be learned. We aren't used to this way of thinking. My parents would have a fit if I had told them that I had decided to serve God and was simply waiting on His next move. I have always been taught that you have to go get what you want and work hard for what you have. Waiting on God was not a part of the mix, except that if you got something from God, then you were doing good.

It is almost impossible for me to wait on God for anything. Having been taught that I must seek before I can find, I have a tough time letting go. I have a craving need to make things happen. Waiting on God just isn't part of the strategy. What if God doesn't produce? What will I do then? Has God ever really produced? Haven't I always been the one to get what I wanted or needed? The doubts swirl incessantly as I fall back into my old way of thinking. Yeah, if I want to serve my accounting purpose, then I do have to pursue it fully. If I want to serve my spiritual purpose, then I have to let God work out the details.

Living a spiritual life involves the letting go of self once the desire to serve has been stated. I am so easily swayed by thoughts developed in the past. In the absence of seeing God's hand at work, I will resort quickly to what has worked in the past. Before you know it, I'll be an accountant again instead of a spiritual helper. I'll even work spiritual helping into my accounting in my thinking. I can justify anything if I put enough thought into it. It is easier to see what I do, than to see what God does.

We assume that what we see is all there is. Yes, I have asked to see miracles and miraculous things as proof of God's existence. I am no different and am a born skeptic just as you are. Even in the face of what is obviously the work of God, I will choose to doubt. I will go around the miracle to make sure that it isn't one. I will put earthly explanations on spiritual things, just to make sure that I don't have to deal with things unknown. Why am I so bent on being earthly instead of spiritual? Why would I rather not believe than believe? If I say that I want to learn to be more spiritual, then why can I not simply be open to the possibilities? I seem to fight to understand, but can never seem to understand because I am determined to put rational explanations on everything. I guess at a deeper level, I somehow don't believe that God is doing anything. I am one who needs proof. I am one who needs more proof. I am one who needs more and more proof. There is no end to the doubt that I can assign to God's efforts.

The choice to see something as a miracle or merely coincidence is simple. Is there really any difference between the two? Does it really matter how it happened? It really doesn't matter and if we believe that everything comes from God, then why are we splitting hairs on each little incident? Perhaps we are learning to retrain ourselves to be more God oriented. Realizing that there are two ways to see everything is one of the first steps in seeing things in a spiritual mode. If you know that you can see things differently and you choose to see things from a spiritual perspective, then suddenly you will start to notice things that before you completely missed. You will start to notice the little hints from God that you never noticed before. You will see things differently in the instant that you realize that there is another way of seeing.

Realizing that life is but an illusion opens the spiritual world to your comprehension. It is easily understood that a person's perception influences the experience of the person. Why then is it so difficult to understand that there are two ways to see life overall? The exact same experience can be held two different ways by two different people. If your perspective is to see the good in the experience, then surely you will see the experience as good. Why is this not more easily recognized in our lives? Why are we so bent on seeing the negative in everything as if by seeing the bad we do not have to be affected by it further? Seeing the negative jumps us over to the worst case scenario which leaves no room for worse things to happen. I recently realized that I tend to put the worst possible spin on things, so that I won't have to fear that worse will happen. If something is already as bad as it can be, then there is nothing left to fear.

Is this not the most negative concept that you have ever heard? Talk about negativity to the extreme – my life is a lesson in the study of making everything as bad as it can be, so that I won't have to wait for the other shoe to drop. Is it any wonder that I have such a negative view of life? Is it any wonder that for every good thing I am not satisfied? How miserable is a life of expecting negativity at every turn? Why have I gravitated to such a pessimistic view of life, instead of the more beautiful and loving view that I could just as easily have? There are many reasons, but the foremost is the culmination of my experiences. I perceive that the worst will happen; therefore, it does. In this way, I do get what I expect. If I expect that only good will happen, then will it not happen? Changing my previous thought process is largely a choice and one which takes effort and determination. I have to be conscious of how I think, so that I can relearn and think differently.

Once I understand why I think the way I do, I can begin to change if I choose to do so. Once the misery of life becomes so overwhelming that I no longer choose to experience life the same, I can then choose to experience life differently. If I then choose that different is better, then I will automatically start to see fully how I have assigned negativity to every experience. Further, I begin to see the root causes for my thought processes and realize that I have bigger fish to fry. There are deeper reasons for my reasoning. If I believe that I do not deserve good, then how can good ever happen to me? If I think that my life is a constant struggle to keep my head above water, then how can I ever experience having my head above water? This seems simple when you analyze it – but it is far more difficult to put into practice. What causes me to feel as if I do not deserve better than I have? Low self esteem issues brought forth from the past are deeply ingrained in my thought process and often drive the entire process.

I must shed my low self esteem if I ever want to see things in a positive light. This is the root cause for my negativity and I must first deal with it, before I can move above the mediocre life filled with negativity and disappointment. If you expect the worst, then you'll never be disappointed. Truer words have never been spoken. If you expect the best, then you will never be disappointed is also true, but much harder to believe. Once you understand that every instance can be seen as either good or bad, then you will have the experience of your choosing. Period!

Oh, can it be that easy? It is just that easy now that you know the secret. You must learn to see the good in things rather than the bad. This requires retraining and effort. Once you start to see the positive knowing that you fully deserve the positive, you will start to automatically expect positive things and experiences. We've all heard about the power of positive thinking, but thought that it only lasted for a little while in our experience. We can't seem to hold on for very long to the concept and soon fall back into our old way of thinking. Before you know it, you are just as filled with negativity as before. It is almost as if we are inherently drawn to negativity. Why? Again, if you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed. This tends to best serve our needs, so we choose to believe that we only deserve bad things. Remember that we are taught that we are punished for our wrong doing and we all do wrong. Is it not therefore understood that we will get what we deserve for our wrong doing?

We are the sum of our experiences and our perception of them. Why are some people happy most of the time and seem to be untouched by things that would physically bring us to our knees? We have to know that God issues no punishments. Whew – that lifts a few dark clouds of expectation. We have to know that God wants for us what we want. More dark clouds lift. We have to know that God is not as He is portrayed – He is simply infinite love. If God is love, then He cannot be anything else. Love does not punish.

We have to know that there are consequences for our actions – not as a punishment, but as a natural order of life. We have to know that consequences can be seen as positive or negative – this is entirely up to us. We have to know that we cause our lives to happen as they do – realizing that we are always influenced by others. If we lived on an island, we would see instantly our desires come to fruition. We have to know that we are the makers of our destinies and that God does not make our lives one way or the other. We must take responsibility for our lives, before we can believe that we have any choice in them.

If you see your life as being at the mercy of God, then you won't have much of a life. If God calls all of the shots, then why do we pretend to have free will? Decide that you are the engineer of your life and start to make choices, knowing that you will get what you desire. Don't sit around wishing for things or begging for material goods; sit around envisioning the life experiences that you truly desire. If happiness is your desire, then surely all that you require to be happy will come to you. There's no need to desire anything but happiness for the attainment of your happiness. If service is your desire, then surely you will have what you need to serve. If love is your desire, then you can't be without it. Desire the experience not the tools. The tools come with the deal.

Chapter 10 - The Leap of Faith

This is the hardest of all. It is where the soul meets the most difficult challenge with the mind. Realizing at some point that you must do what your soul desires rather than what you mind tells you to do, is the point of no return and the door which opens the boundless possibilities of God. There comes a point when you must put aside what you know for what you feel. It is very difficult, but is the point when you begin to live a truly spirit filled life. This is the demonstration of your belief in God. This is the confidence to do what your mind begs you not to do. This is the point where spirit meets the spiritual.

Without ever having seen the mysteries of God, your soul knows that there is nothing else. The soul tells you to take the leap, but the mind asks if you are crazy. The soul says quit your job and know that there is a better job ahead. The mind says that you will lose everything if you quit the job that you have. Take the leap so that you can live without fear or regret ever again. Once you've taken the leap, you realize that there is nothing to fear. Once you close your eyes and follow the advice of your soul, you will know that there is nothing except you and God and that all things are possible.

Not being developed fully at this point causes me to fear greatly the leap into the unknown. God knows that I'm afraid and works with me to show me that there is nothing really to be lost, except the honesty of living the truth of the soul. There comes a point in all of our lives when we feel that the worst possible thing is not listening to the soul. All the other material things melt away into the meaningless abyss of our worthless creation. If you are not happy, then what does it matter what kind of car you drive? If you are not satisfied with your life, then why hold on to your life as it is? There are greater things than those that we have previously known. The time has come to take the leap and experience the divine nature of your soul. When you let go of worldly things, you begin to open yourself up to the spiritual things. There may not be a visible dividing line between worldly and spiritual, but the division is very obvious to the person. Just as there is a great difference between how you perceive an instance, there is a great difference between physical life and spiritual life.

Separating yourself into the two distinct entities that make up you, will allow you to fully realize your inherent connection to God. Once you feel God within you, you will know that your physical life is but a fleeting entity that simply serves the soul within. This separation will allow you to know the freedom that God gives your soul to choose the experiences needed for purposeful fulfillment. Once you realize that this is not only possible, but is your divine destiny, then you will begin to experience the spirituality that you seek. Living a spiritual life allows you to separate yourself from the physical so that you are free to experience all that there is. The thought occurs to me that just as hugging a tree can offer a myriad of experiences, while all come from the same starting point. You wrap your arms around a tree. Once you do this, you realize that:

The tree feels rough.

The tree has living organisms on it.

The tree is part of the earth.

You are part of the earth.

You feel that you are connected to the earth by the tree's roots.

You are suddenly one with the All.

A simple gesture has profound meaning once you fully realize all that is involved in the tree's existence and its connection to the universe. Just as the tree is connected, so are you. Visualizing your oneness with the tree and the universe gives you a spiritual connection that at first glance seems ridiculous. Having experienced this oneness, you suddenly know that you are larger than you ever imagined. You become one with all there is and you are in harmony with your highest truth. Laugh if you must and as I often have. I have climbed trees before and have never had such a sensation. Once I see the beauty of the All, I know that the tree is more than a simple object to be climbed. Seeing the tree for its life giving properties makes the tree rather majestic in the grand scheme. As a child, I could never imagine a tree more than what I saw. I put no more value on the tree than for what it could do for me. Now I see that it is a living thing with a divine purpose and connection to the universe. Trees, like people, don't happen by accident.

What must we relearn so that we can experience all from life that we have missed up to this point? Seeing a tree for all that it is can be eye opening once you realize how great it is and what a marvelous creator created it. If we see the simple things as simple, we miss the beauty of the entirety. If we see ourselves as mere mortals, then we miss the spiritual beauty entirely. Seeing the tree with spiritual eyes brings forth a whole new world that we've never taken the time to see before. How can this be that we have missed so much? Talk about regrets – how many times did I miss divine opportunities to see God as He really is? How many people have passed through my life without my ever having known the God within each of them? I have missed so much, but I choose to regret no more. I choose to go forward and not make the same mistakes in the future. I choose to see God in everything. Only then, will I reach the spiritual maturity that my soul craves.

In life, we don't give a second thought to cutting down a tree for what it can give to us. Do we ever stop to think what we can give to it? Of course not – and don't be so foolish as to think that a tree can ever need anything from us. What it may need most is for us to let it live as it chooses to live. What we may need most is to be allowed to live as we choose. Envision people as trees and know that there is nothing to be added to their perfection. Can you inflict your will upon another and make it better? Is it not perfect as it currently is? It is when we inflict our will upon another that we impart imperfection. Wow – that makes us very influential, but not in a good way.

Suddenly, we can see that we do have far reaching effects, not the least of which is on our children. Think of all you have imparted upon them, believing that you are doing the right thing. What if you are not perfect and know this, yet impart your imperfect will upon your children? Is it any wonder that we have progressed to this state of confusion? We do the best that we can, even though we know that we don't know what is best for ourselves. Our children get the results of our imperfection by virtue of having been under our will. If you are confused by life, think about how your children feel?

We have a tendency to impose our perceptions upon others as this is all that we know. We may be totally confused about life, but do not give a second thought about expressing our ideas to another. Do we question ourselves? Do we ask others for their ideas? No, we simply believe what we believe as if it were the universal truth. Our statements are expressed as universal truths, even though we don't know why we stay in our current miserable circumstances. We have no idea how to make ourselves happy, yet we have no trouble telling others how they can be happy. Isn't this funny? What makes us so smart, when we are just as lost as the other person?

Said with authority, our beliefs are ingested by others as if God had spoken them. Have you ever thought about questioning the ideas expressed by those on TV? Doesn't Tom Brokaw know all that there is about the world? Is he any happier than you or me? We don't know or care – we know that if he tells the news, then it must be the gospel. We tend to trust those whom we choose to respect. Why do I put more faith in the guidance of Billy Graham, than I do on any other minister? Is Billy better than any other? On what standard have I based my faith?

I can read three books about the same thing and somehow believe what is written in only one. What attracts me to one as opposed to the others, when all are basically the same? Knowing that there are many paths to God and each is different yet somehow the same, how do I choose the path that I will take? We believe much of what we are taught by our parents. If we are raised in a Christian home, then we tend to believe what we are taught at home. If we are raised in a Jewish home, then we will lean toward Jewish beliefs. Is one more correct than the other?

Christians and Jews will defend their beliefs to the death, but will not very often acknowledge that both wind up at the same place. When your life is over, will it matter how you got there? Do you really believe that God is standing there with a judgment book allowing into heaven only those who called Jesus their savior? Maybe you do and that is ok, but only if you are Christian. Those who don't have your belief system may take offense at a heaven that only allows Christians. Wouldn't this be a heaven much like our own separatist entities? Does God really care what religion you profess? Does God care if a tree is a maple or an oak? Everyone has a place with God and no one can be exempt.

Once you stop separating people by religions or colors or other diversities, then you can start seeing the beauty of the All. When you see all as part of the whole, then you will start to see with God's eyes all that is part of the one that is the All. If you continue to see people as different, then you will never see them as the same. Once you see all people as the same, then you will begin to see that all are part of God. Seeing all as part of God will draw your attention away from self and toward the one that is all. If you see people as their behavior, then you will never see the soul that is part of the all.

Take a moment to envision a person without the influence of their behavior. You now see a body with different characteristics, but much the same in overall make up. Look inside the person and envision the soul that looks exactly the same within every person. This is what God sees and this is what we should learn to see. If we imagine that the soul inside is a bright white light, then every person has this bright white light. If we see God as the light, then His light shines within each of us. This is our connection to God and this is how we see the other parts of God which are the same as us.

At the soul level, we are all the same. We are souls which God has created for the purpose of experience. Diversity be gone – sameness be recognized. Seeing this magnificence allows you to see what God sees. Seeing the soul as part of God takes away all of the muddled physical details that cause us to be separate and divisive. If you see that all souls are alike, then you will see that one is no more important than the others. Just as you want to help one, you want to help all. You are no more important than any other. This is the essence of leaving I behind. This is the point when you realize that God is part of each person, just as you are part of God. You wish to help your soul just as you wish to help all other souls. You are not distracted by outward appearances; you are attracted by the universal life inside of each person. You know that like you, every soul seeks to know God and to return to God with the culmination of life's experiences. You see that you are no different from anyone else and can now love all equally. This opens the possibility of God's unconditional love.

Chapter 11 - Unconditional Love

Love is all there is and God is love. If God doesn't play favorites, then how do we know who is doing right and who is doing wrong? Aren't we just too obsessed with right and wrong? Is there anything else? We are preoccupied with who is right and who is wrong to the point that we lose sight of the experience. Once you know that to God there is no right or wrong and you change your way of thinking to exclude the concepts, you can see everything as right for its own purpose. To every person what they do is right. Period. Are we to judge what is right or wrong for another, or to put our own values on the things that are not ours? We do it anyway as it is so engrained in our very lives from the times of our birth. We are taught that actions are right or wrong and that there is no in between. Even things that are not directly experienced are judged. Does it really matter in the long run if something is right or wrong? Does God care why we do what we do?

We like to think that there is right and wrong so that we will learn to be what we value as right. We strive to be better people by doing what is universally considered right. Bringing harm to others is not seen as right regardless of the initial motivation that caused the action. If you ran over someone while trying to get to the bedside of a loved one in the emergency room, your actions would be seen as wrong, even if you intended to cause no harm. If your actions cause a by-product deemed wrong, then suddenly you are seen as the doer of wrong. We have to change our way of thinking to eliminate wrong, and this is easily done when we see that no one or nothing is inherently wrong or ill intentioned. This really is a change for most of us.

Taking the judgment out of actions and behaviors is necessary for unconditional love to blossom. Unconditional love is just as its name implies – love without condition. We like to think that we are capable of unconditional love, but the reality is much different. Unconditional love is very difficult to experience and takes much spiritual growth to master. Seeing every person as God equally, allows the opportunity for the exhibition of unconditional love. Until we separate the behavior from the person, we cannot experience unconditional love. If behavior is the basis for judgment, then love is not without conditions. Knowing that people behave the way that they do for reasons that are true for them, allows us to know that people do what they need to do for their own reasons and should not be judged by our values. I may do something that I feel is necessary for my personal growth, but the action may be totally offensive to others. Does this make it wrong? If it is deemed in my best interest, then is it not right?

Imparting our will upon others also happens when we put our judgments on the actions of others. It is not for us to judge, so why do we so willingly do so? As if we are perfect, we do not even hesitate to judge others. Why are we so quick to judge everyone but ourselves? We have a tendency to know that our actions are correct and the actions of others are errant. As if we sit on the Supreme Court of Life, we feel that it is our basic human obligation to let others know when they have done wrong. I know that my errors are often pointed out to me by others, and I have little trouble pointing out the errors of others. This is so laughable when I think of the internal struggle that I face every day trying to figure out what is right for me. I guess I just have a knack for knowing the wrong doings of others, just as others have a knack for knowing my wrong doings. If I would put more emphasis on why I do what I do, then perhaps I would be less judgmental of others and would be more in touch with myself.

If our goal is to serve others, does it really serve others when we are constantly downing them and their behaviors? What happens when we condemn others? Do we produce happiness or resentment? How can we affect others without causing resentment? This is the question that should be at the forefront. If I live my life honoring my highest truth, then others will see my example and will be affected by what they see. Is this not enough? Must we give them a lecture also? Worse than this is to teach other than what we live. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, this goes a long way in getting your message across. Who have we ever helped by saying one thing and doing another? I dare say none.

Just as living our lives with purpose causes us to eliminate expectations, we must not put expectations on others. Our judgments are nothing more than placing expectations. Eliminating expectations eliminates the need to judge which eliminates any perceived wrongs. God knows no wrong – we should know no wrong. If there is no wrong, then there is nothing but right and only love results. If there are no conditions, then there is only love. This is the place where the spiritual concept of oneness flows and brings forth unconditional love. If we envision unconditional love as a river, putting a condition such as right will dam the flow of the river, and soon the river will flow less and less. We should look for ways to cause more love to flow in our imagined river. We should not look for ways to decrease the flow, but we seem to spend much of our time damming the flow with our perceptions. Perceptions be gone!

It is not necessary for us to assign a perception to anything. The experience just is. Allow it to be what it is without our input of perception. If we see that the tree grows without our input, then we can fully know the beauty of the tree. If we see that the tree grows only because we see it growing, then our input is required in our perception and soon the tree is lost in the perception. We must take our imposed influence out of life, so that we can experience freely all that life has to offer. We have been taught that we are the controllers of the universe and that nothing happens that we do not make happen. In a sense, this is correct.

We as God do make everything happen. We as God also make things happen by doing nothing. The trees will grow without us. If we choose to plant a tree where we want one, then we can do this. We cannot control the growth of the tree no matter how hard we try. We like to believe that we can, but we surely cannot. We like to believe that we control the very life force that causes children to be born, but we do not. We are a part of the whole and do create. We are not all that there is; therefore, we do not create everything.

It is hard to imagine that you create your life, yet you create what you are allowed to create by the All. If there are ten people in a room, then ten people create. What you get from the creation is not necessarily what you imagined, because your input alone is not all there is in the creation. The balance of the two is tough, but gives you much better odds than when you thought that your experiences were the creation of God alone. There is much confusion on where we start and the All stops. At what point does our will mesh with the will of all and things are produced according to our will. I have much to learn on this subject and will continue earnestly to seek the answers. For now, I will be satisfied to know that I must eliminate expectation; therefore, my creations will be right and true to me.

My focus should be primarily on living the concept of unconditional love. I should love others as I love myself. When you love without condition, you love unconditionally. This takes practice and patience. Seeing every circumstance as the pure exhibition of God's unconditional love is a leap for me and will require spiritual growth. I pray every day that I will mature spiritually, so that I will be able to love unconditionally. This is the fullest realization of God – to love unconditionally. This is our goal. This is oneness. This is all that there is and all there ever will be. You don't realize how difficult this is to achieve until you actually try to love without condition. Give it a whirl – you'll be shocked at how difficult it truly is.

Let's say that you love your children unconditionally. Do you really? Do you love them equally when they behave badly? Do you love them when they commit a crime? Do you see them as wholly excellent, even as you are cursing what they are currently doing in defiance of your orders? We like to think that we love unconditionally, but we don't. We love when things are good and have difficulty loving when things are bad. If only we saw everything as good, then we could love unconditionally. This is very hard, especially when you know that your child has done something to intentionally harm another.

I often sympathize with those parents who are on TV talking about the terrible crimes committed by their children. How sad must this be to have to acknowledge that your child has done something that you and society consider horribly wrong? It takes quite a leap to love unconditionally when you are mortified by your child's actions. This is when love has to take over and know that love is the only healing power. Condemnation will not change the circumstance; only love can overcome and heal the perceived wrong.

Our court system is full of those who did wrong without ever intending to do wrong. There are those who do not understand wrong as we do and therefore commit wrong in our perception. Is murder ever right? We can argue this forever, but only God can offer us the wisdom to love unconditionally. It is hard to do away with conditions, especially when you are personally affected. Does the family of a murder victim love unconditionally? Is sending someone to prison evidence of unconditional love? Sending someone to prison is a natural consequence of actions taken except when people are mistakenly accused.

Any criminal knows that if caught, prison is forthcoming. Does a criminal not realize that there are consequences for his actions? Do you know that if you rob a bank that you are going to prison? Does this mean that you are not loved? Allowing you to continue to terrorize bank employees is certainly not evidence of love for you or the bank employees. In this way, we must separate love from consequences. Also, in this way leading someone toward acceptable social behavior is evidence of love.

There are people who feel that they cannot control their behavior and need to be constantly supervised. Is it not loving to provide that supervision? You really have to look at the basics to determine what is loving and what is not. A selfish act can be disguised as a loving act. We can be easily fooled, if we don't look closely at our true motives. Just as kissing up to a boss that you can't stand appears to be loving, in reality it is not loving at all. Pretending to be a friend to someone who you knife in the back is not really loving. Let's get back to the basics and let love be our motivation. Loving ourselves is important, but loving others for what they can do for us is not loving.

What drives you now? What would you like to drive you? What would you do if you could do anything? Imagine the possibilities and realize that life is what you make of it. If you choose to be God and only do loving things, then surely you can just by choosing it. It may take some work to get into the habit, but it is well worth the effort. If you really want to serve others, then do nothing else. Fear not for whatever you choose you will be satisfied. That's God's promise to everyone. It is in the not doing what you choose, that you find difficulty and fear and worry. That's where you find yourself when you don't listen to the love of God.

Be still and listen – He will direct your ways, if you allow it. Unconditional love is a byproduct of God and is in everything that He is and does. You are God's creation and you have all that is God available to you. Why put your faith in fear when you have God? Knowing the control that fear has over your life, can allow you to put aside fear in favor of a higher controlling power – God's love. God never chooses for us to suffer. God never chooses for us. God chooses to only help us when we ask. God's greatest gift is free will which flows with abundance. Let not your life be controlled by an illusion of your own creation, which is fear. Let your life be controlled by the love of God, which is the core of your very being. Your essence is love and to be loving is your gift to God. Once you choose to live your life with a higher purpose, you can choose to live freely without expectation or fear.

It takes a great leap of faith to let go of what you know for what you want to know. Your very being craves for you to follow your instinctual desires, and only imagined fear keeps your from what is innately you. Why are we so attached to what we imagine, and not to what we are created from? Why is it easier to believe in another person, than to believe in God who created everyone? Why must we look for solutions by our own means, when solutions are all that God has to offer? Why do we not take the short cut and go to the All for everything? Because we can't see everything and we certainly can't see the All.

God is not appearing before us, so we have a little trouble believing. He shows us that He is there, but if we don't see, we don't believe. The other person is very visible so we have no trouble believing that they exist. If we realize as God does that even the sight of Him would not convince us of His existence, we soon realize that there is nothing that God can do to convince us, if we are not willing to believe.

Our willingness to believe is the key to knowing God and to knowing that on the other side of our leap of faith is all that we desire. Those who take the leap of faith are the ones who do know that God is there waiting for us with open arms of abundance. Every actor knows that a leap of faith is required to get that big break. Every soul knows that believing that there is a God is essential to being able to take a leap of faith. When we look within and hear the cry of our soul to do something, we must be faithful that our soul knows what is best for us. Our souls have seen the illusions of life and are not held captive to physical life. Our minds are captive to the physical life as this is the point of reference for them. How do we get the strength to take the leap?

God will give you what you seek. If you need a boost to make it over, then He will give you what you need to make it. This is not to say that you don't have doubts and fears, but a willingness to take the leap is essential.

If you hear God's voice telling you to do something and you choose to ignore it, then you are unwilling to take the leap. If God tells you to run in circles and you choose to do so, then you are taking the leap. If you sit and ask why, then God will explain to you why. If you know why and still refuse to run in circles, then you are not truly seeking God's help. If you are concerned that you will look like an idiot for running around in circles, then you will not freely run. If you are concerned about what others will think, then you are not very spiritual and are certainly not ready to take the leap. I for one will run in circles if God tells me to. I will question His motives, but will do so while running in circles. As I have looked like an idiot many times before, no one would even question my sanity at this point.

Just as my mind has a tough time believing why God directs me to write these books, I am writing while I question. There is no doubt that I should be writing, as He tells me repeatedly to do so. There is doubt in my mind about the purpose, even though He has told me that also. I am a doubter by nature up to the point that God directs me to do something. He does have a way of getting His message across.

Sometimes, I marvel at what is written and sometimes I just think that I am a babbling fool dreaming of God giving me words to type. Which is it? Honestly, I am certain when I reread what is written, that it didn't come from me. That is my proof that God has given these words. What God intends to do with them is still up in the air. He has told me and it all seems just a little too far fetched for my simple mind, but type I still do. He has shown me many examples of things such as this happening to others and the marvelous results of each. Sure, it can happen to them but never to me. Why can it not happen for me? Why am I so different? They, just like me, questioned the possibility but did what they were told in spite of doubts. It is normal to doubt what you have not seen. One day when we are spiritual masters, we will doubt no more. Until that time, we have a little more doubting to do.

Does God get offended if we doubt and question? Certainly not – it is far better to communicate with God than not. He'll take what He can get and all that we offer. We can question Him till the cows come home and He will never cease to console us. Let's just say that I've asked a few times about the books and when something is going to happen. Have you ever heard God laugh? It seems to be my special talent to extract laughs from God. I guess that someone has to be the object of humor and I do my part. God enjoys a good laugh and I provide plenty.

It almost seems asinine that I would have doubts while typing book number five in less than three months. Others may see the miracle, but doubting me just can't seem to get a handle on it. Yes, sometimes I do need a brick to fall on my head. It's so easy for me to believe that God blesses others, but I just can't believe that God would give me such great gifts. I have some issues with low self esteem, but we are working on that. My mother always taught me that humility is a good thing. God is teaching me that too much humility isn't necessarily a good thing either.

We often think that people who write books are those who are experts on the subject. In my case, this is just not true. I am learning as I go and God is teaching me much. The lesson plan that He has followed is one that seems to best fit my needs. There are so many things that rattle my historical cage that I have to absorb after the words are given. So many things that I have been taught are falling into the category of ridiculous, not the least of which is the fear of God. This is one of the great lessons that I have to unlearn. I still have fear of God so ingrained within my mind, that I have a tough time opening up to God. I was taught as a very small child that I should fear God. After all of these years, I still do. I will never be able to experience unconditional love until I get rid of the fear that I have of God's punishments.

I can tell others that they should love unconditionally as I believe that they can. I, who fear God, can not love unconditionally as I am restricted by my fear. Even after all of this writing, I find that fear still has a grip on me. Lookout, another brick is scheduled for a meeting with my head. It's hard to let go of what you were taught during your childhood. Trust me – I know better than what I believe, yet I believe it still. Maybe you've got a little fear build up inside that needs to be torn down also. I just have to let God show me that I have nothing to fear. If the sky doesn't fall, maybe I'll see that it's not going to. There are many other lessons to unlearn, but I do intend to unlearn them, so that I can fully love unconditionally.

As I have asked for spiritual maturity, I must be freely willing to trust that God is there, and that He has my best interest in mind at all times. When my fear raises its ugly head, I must be willing to put it aside in favor of a faith that surpasses every fear and doubt. Typing these words just in the moment that I most need to read them, is further proof that my fears are worthless creations and have no place in my life. As I see what is before my eyes, I must know that reality is not as it appears. There is nothing that is as I see it, and that every moment is another chance to change everything that I see. I must know that the love of God is with me even when I fear that it is not. It is in the presence of my fear that I most need to believe. When faced with the greatest uncertainty, is the greatest opportunity to experience life anew. How I see my life is not what is may actually be, but my life should be what I choose to create anew from this moment on. Knowing that God is awaiting my call for help is my strength and my foundation. Knowing that He has never left me brings forth a joy of new found hope and inspiration.

When faced with the greatest of my fears, I must look to a greater power than my own. I must look to the One who created everything, so that my fears have no merit nor basis in fact. Feeling the unconditional love of God is what gives me the courage to face another day in the life. Knowing with certainty that God has never let me down lifts me up. Knowing that God puts no conditions on my life and requires nothing from me, gives me comfort when there seems none to be had. Putting your faith in man is one of our greatest failures which often leads to great disappointments. It seems as if when we trust someone the most, we are most likely to get hurt. This never happens with God. He may not move on our time schedule, but He always moves in our best interest. Time is not the same for Him as it is for us; therefore, we must wait for Him to draw to us what He knows is best for us.

This is difficult but is part of our pledge to let go and let God. What would be the point of God at all, if He were to let us down in our time of need? If we were continually disappointed by God, would we be so irresponsible to go back for more disappointment? In life, there comes a point when you realize that the best efforts of man are nothing in comparison to the minimal efforts of God. If God can create life, can He not also create life worth living? Can He not teach us His ways and open the mysteries of the spiritual realm to our understanding? Can He not bring to us the simplest and the most complicated? It doesn't take long in life to realize that our best efforts fail largely in comparison to God's. Yet we continue to have faith in our efforts and continue to struggle daily to eek out what we think we need. All we really need is God and His love, and all else is merely a tick of the clock.

What man, of his own accord, has created anything but his own thoughts and deeds? Has man created anything really? Just as these words flow unceasingly onto this page, God's wisdom and love flow unceasingly into our lives. We choose to believe that it is our own doing that brings great things into our lives, when we know somehow that our greatest blessings come to us from a higher power. We can so easily choose to discount God's input into our lives, but we can never discount the actual creation of our lives as God's handy work. We know that we did not create this earth on which our bodies live. No one denies this. Then who created it? Was it a spontaneous development of nothing into something? What proof do we have that nothing ever turns into something? It is far more difficult to explain that God doesn't exist, than it is to justify that He does.

When you are satisfied that God does exist, then you have to be satisfied that He interacts in your life. When you believe that God interacts in your life, then you have to be satisfied that you have some say so in the matters of your life. When you believe that you have some say so in your life, then you can choose deliberately what you desire and fully expect that God will make your reality a reflection of your desires. What other purpose can God serve, if not helping those whom He created? I guess He could be off creating something else, but what kind of God creates and leaves His creation? Does a mother have a baby and simply abandon it? If the mother does abandon the child, how does this represent the mother? Does God wish to be known as one who would abandon His children? If God had chosen to create and run, then we wouldn't be here doing what we are doing. Surely, the God of abandonment would not be spewing out these words for me to type for the benefit of those who choose to know Him.

God's love is unconditional and if you believe in God, you must believe that He loves you unconditionally. If you choose to know Him, then you choose to be like Him. If you choose to be like Him, then you choose to be Him. If you choose to be Him, then you choose to love unconditionally just as He does. When you choose to live a Godly life, then you can choose nothing but love. You may stumble on the road, but you always get up knowing that God is there for you and will never let you down. You may fail in your attempts to be God, but you will never return to your old ways if you sincerely will to be God. Your intention is what makes you what you are. Your intention to be God makes you God. "I Am" are the most powerful words in the universe according to God. When you profess honestly that you are God, then God you are. There is no difference in saying this than saying I am love. God is love and you are love. Live every moment with love as your guidepost and you will never be able to be unloving. You are what you believe that you are.

Chapter 12 - Just As I Am

Can you imagine that God has less than ideal morals and values? Has there ever really been a question of God's intent to be perfect in every way? I don't think that we've ever really wasted any time doubting God's ethics and morality. We have questioned some religious teachings, but never God Himself. The more we learn about God, the more that we know fully that He is flawless in every way. Once we step away from religious beliefs and move toward God beliefs, we understand that God's wisdom surpasses the ages and is beyond reproach.

When we leave I behind, we see the world, the universe, and God very differently. We are suddenly one with the All and realize that what was important before no longer is. Our fruitless chasing of selfish fulfillment takes a back seat to our purposeful fulfillment in service to the All. Once we become part of the All, we are no longer bound by the self. We no longer choose to serve self and fulfill self – we choose to serve others as equal parts of the All. We are part of a bigger picture in which our efforts are combined with all other efforts to create the universal effort. Being a part of the universal effort, or cosmic consciousness, we lose touch with self in ways that are very new and exciting. We see things differently. We do things differently. We are more impact oriented than ever before. We realize that our every action is part of the universal whole and affects the whole.

We are no longer concerned about actions purely for selfish reasons. We become more like God, in that we see the whole instead of the parts. This is not to say that the parts don't matter, as they certainly do. Seeing the parts as the whole brings life into focus on a new level. Just as a child can only see self, God can only see the whole which includes the parts. God doesn't sit around thinking about self, except in that all are part of self as one with the whole. Let's take a minute to see that the problems of one are actually problems for the whole. Let's feel for a moment empathy for another instead of sympathy for self. We have always had a certain fondness for others, but never on God's level.

God wishes for us to be like Him. Once we are like Him, then we are motivated as He is. Being motivated to serve the All automatically takes away self. You can't worry about your materialistic accumulation while trying to serve others. Your focus must be on what is best for the All. By serving even one, you are serving the All.

There are myriad interactions with others in a day. Generally, we don't place much importance on each interaction. If we stop to think of each interaction and what the purpose is, then we start to look for the higher meaning of each previously unimportant interaction. Once we are in the habit of looking for the purpose of each interaction, then we start to see a pattern develop, whereas not one interaction is deemed unimportant. Realizing that every interaction has a purpose, we then move throughout our day looking for purpose in everything. There is no such thing as coincidence and there are no accidents. These words are easy to read and understand, but are seldom put into our conscious daily lives. If you realize that you are where you are at any given moment as part of the universe's plan for you, then you start to live with a different focus.

How many of us go through our days oblivious to all that is around us. We seldom give a second thought to our interactions with others. We are more inclined to pay attention to those interactions which irritate, us than those that bring us joy. When someone rubs you the wrong way, you plant that in your memory bank and stew on it for days. If someone does you a kindness, you smile and forget all about it. Why are we less motivated by kindness than by hatred? This is very true, but really makes no sense. Wouldn't it be more wise if we were to let go of the hatred and focus our attention on the kindness shown? Surely it would, but for some reason we are attracted to that which irritates us.

Letting go of irritants is one of the better ways to remove negativity from our lives. We don't even realize that we focus on hatred, much less know that it can control our lives. God knows that things happen which we perceive as negative. He also knows that we tend to focus on them and give them great importance. God knows that this is futility, but offers us insight so that we will not be so controlled by that which we cannot change. The Serenity Prayer offers comfort to some in that it verbalizes that we cannot make things as we want them to be. Others can't seem to let go of hatred, and allow it to chip away at their insides like a flesh eating virus.

It is great wisdom to realize our nature to hold on to negativity, for in that realization we learn that we are doing ourselves a disservice. You have to know your behavior in order to be able to change it. Our goal of being as God is, will cause us internal discomfort when we do things that are not based in love. Just as you feel guilty for telling a lie, you will feel discomfort in doing things that are opposed to your new Godly self. This is how our soul interacts with our physical self, to let us know that we are going against our own grain. This is important to our growth and is our barometer of success. When you can no longer hold on to negativity, then you are far advanced from your previous self. Once you realize that you are not the same person that you used to be, then you are on the path, and there is no turning back. You have gone far enough to see the benefit of living as God. You see that misery melts away almost as if by magic.

The spiritual master knows that everything happens for a reason. If you learn to accept this, you will not be swept away by misery, but will live in awe of all that is for you to enjoy. Focusing on the joy of life teaches you the foolishness of being controlled by negativity. You are amazed that you were so controlled by negativity. You realize that in every day you were fraught with despair needlessly. How could you have been so foolish as to waste a minute being mad at that person for cutting you off in traffic? Such a simple thing takes over our day and puts us in a state of negativity that eats away at us for hours. If we stop to realize that the other person was just doing what they thought was right for them and did not intentionally act to irritate you, then you can let go of the irritation and focus on your joy.

Somehow, we imagine that every act pointed in our direction is an intentionally destructive act against us. We take things personally that were never intended as such. Sure, people often do things which we consider rude, but unless you get in their minds to understand what is going on, you will never know what motivates them. Road rage is a perfect symbol of our taking things personally in error. In the final analysis, does the incident warrant the consequences that we assigned to it? Would we not be better served to let it go and forget about it? Even when we know that what we are doing is not in our best interest, we will continue just to prove a point. I guess that our little egos have been bruised and need to be vindicated. When you are as God, you never give a second thought to what your ego needs. You instinctively let go of useless influences or interactions.

Once you let go of meaningless occurrences in your day which previously filled you with negativity, you are free to focus on the meaningful occurrences in your day. Once you start to focus on the important things in life, you will start to see life differently and will feel as if you are a new person living a different life. Further development will bring you to a point when you are seldom affected by perceived negativity. Negativity fades into the background without a whimper, and soon you are more filled with peace and tranquility than ever before. In fact, you are soon irritated when you aren't filled with peace. You come to expect peace every moment of every day, just as you had previously expected to be irritated every moment of every day.

Once you have felt God's peace, you will never again want to be without it. Nothing will cause you more discomfort than to feel as if you have lost your peace. It will drive you insane once you feel that you have lost it. Getting it back will be your focus, and you will instantly know that you are nothing without it. You can't even think clearly until you have your peace back. Your focus will have changed to peace from negativity. You will forever be seeking your peace from which your Godliness flows. It becomes your new center, and nothing works for you like having your peace. When once you were not yourself without a big bag of negativity, now you are not yourself without a big bag of peacefulness.

When you realize that you are out of sync with your peace, you will be driven to get it back. It is a feeling beyond description. Why has it taken me so long to feel God's peace? Why have I wasted so much time relishing in the misery of my own making? Surely there must be a reason, but it is difficult to find. Having experienced God's peace, I want nothing else. This is the one thing that spiritual masters have that the rest of us don't. It is not until we feel the peace of God that we are spiritually "lost." Once we have seen the light and felt the peace of God's light, then we are transported to a state of awareness that opens the door to all the universe has to offer. Leaving I behind is rewarding in that we gain far more than we lose. Think about what you give up for what you gain. Hmmm, I gave up misery, negativity, hatred, loneliness, fear, worry, anxiety, etc. I gained joy, happiness, love, kindness, humanity, peace, tranquility, etc. The cost benefit analysis demonstrates the foolishness of remaining in our self-centered lives.

There is only joy to be found in oneness with God. If you aren't feeling overwhelmed with joy, then you may need to search further and spend a little more time with God. I spend time each day talking with God. It may not be formal or scheduled, but I drop some info out often for His immediate response. When I have lost my peace, I go straight to the top and ask for my peace to return. I can no longer be without it. It drives me crazy to worry like I used to. I can't stand to feel as if I am not in a constant state of peace. I know that my peace comes from God as evidence of His presence in my life. Sure, I have weak moments and will tend to fall back when I allow myself to worry. Once I realize that I have left the peace, I quickly beg for its return.

I used to worry almost constantly about everything. I would worry until I had concocted a solution to every problem. This is the way of a lost soul, and I have had to let go of worry in favor of peace. I have had to change my entire way of thinking, so that I can live in God's peace. It is my natural tendency to worry, so I really have to fight to not worry. My internal struggle causes me much grief. My newly discovered peace causes me to see that worry has no place in my life. If you choose to serve God, you have to let go of fear and worry. Let's imagine that I am the greatest spiritual teacher of all time. Millions flock to hear me speak. Upon stepping up to the podium, millions see the worried look on my face. Millions instantly know that I am not full of God's peace. Millions know that I am not as I say that I am. Millions begin to doubt my spirituality. Millions soon start leaving early, because anything that I say doesn't resound as loudly as the worried look on my face. If I don't appear to have God's peace, then no one will listen regardless of the message. It will all appear contrived.

There are those who appear to walk in God's peace and we know them by their deeds. It is my natural tendency to be nervous about speaking in front of crowds, even small ones. A little nervousness is not the kind of worried look to which I refer. The look of overwhelming sorry and despair is something that can never be hidden. Those who have God's peace never have that look of deep internal despair. There is genuineness in their appearance that captivates and amazes. This is the peace that we should all seek to know. Even when tears of joy appear, there can be found no greater happiness. We tend to associate great emotion with sadness. Those who know God's peace are often moved to tears for seemingly no reason. The wealth of emotion cannot be contained.

The joy of God's love is without compare and can never be contrived. A person who pretends to feel God's peace will soon return to what they really are. Be not mistaken by those who say they know God's peace but really don't. They are the ones who are seeking and if sincere will know God's peace. As spiritually immature souls, we have a tendency to fluctuate between God and man. We tend to have ups and downs. We want to leave the physical, but somehow are very attached to it. It is our goal to grow more each day into the oneness with God. If our peace only lasts for a minute each day, then we have been one with God for that time. Strive to increase the peacefulness each day until you are primarily peaceful each day. It is hard to do – sometimes it feels impossible. I struggle with it every day. It is hard to go from worry wart to peaceful in so short a time. Don't beat yourself up – know that you are not alone. Just keep working at it and it will get easier as you grow in God's love.

I am further inspired to discuss more fully the impact of negativity on our spiritual growth. It seems as if we somehow overlook the overwhelming impact of negativity in our lives, while being totally controlled by its powerful force. I recently was told that every time that I talk to a certain person that I am suddenly down in the dumps. This was shocking to me, as I had never even considered such a possibility. I never thought that someone could bring me down by virtue of her negativity. Wow, and it is true. I tested the theory and found that it really does happen. In fact, it happened again yesterday. Now, this is not to imply that this person is intentionally negative. In fact, this person is one of the most caring and helpful people that I know. It seems that by being in a negative situation, the negativity rubs off and is shared unknowingly.

It has never occurred to me that such a thing happens. You somehow get the feeling that a person affects you, but you never really realize the full impact. How can this happen? I know that no one can affect me unless I let them. This was happening without a conscious thought. The impact is real in spite of my not being aware of it. This opened up a new reality for me – how am I affected by others? I have a tendency to focus on how others are affected by me, so in turn I need to focus on how others affect me. I read somewhere that sensitive people absorb the negativity of others. As if I weren't negative enough, now I have to guard against the negativity of others. The unseen attack of the killer invisible negativity! How can I relax knowing that negativity can just jump on me at any time, without warning? This causes me to fear contact with others. What is a person to do? Not answer the phone when the negative Nelly calls? We can't do this, especially when we realize that the person calls for us to help him. They are drawn to our positive energy for support and comfort.

Should I wear a lead vest to protect my delicate sensitivities? Perhaps a Geiger counter should be carried to ward off negative radioactive waves. A simpler approach might just be to recognize a person's negativity, so that you won't be affected by it. Once I realize that there were negative vibes drifting from the person, I was better able to deal with the person. Even if I have to take on the negativity, I choose to interact with the person. I choose to help any one who asks. I choose to bring light to her darkness. I choose to serve my purpose while keeping the negativity at bay. Awareness is very important. Once you know what you are dealing with, then you can deal with it more effectively.

As you grow spiritually, you will gravitate away from old friends and toward new friends. This is a general rule and certainly does not suggest that you should drop the old and bring on the new. This process happens naturally and without intention. Those who are with us spiritually will remain with us. Those who do not fit our new lives will go on to others who suit their purposes. This is part of growth and not an indicator that you can really pick the wrong friends. When you change, you change your associations. When you no longer enjoy hanging out in bars, then you tend to drift away from those who do. When you suddenly want to be in church, your non-church going friends become part of your past. Go with the natural flow and don't hold on to the past so that you can't see the future.

Know that there are persons who reflect the negativity that they feel. I know that I was recently a bundle of exuding negativity. I could have stopped a train with my negative vibes. It was never that I intended to be negative and I tried to put on a brave front for others. Being in a state of internal strife caused me to suffer such negativity, that I simply could not contain it. It happens. Realize it. Deal with it. If life is giving you nothing but lemons, shop somewhere else. Know that there are situations where you can not peacefully co-exist. It is not a personal affront, but a statement of fact. Let go of that which causes you to suffer. And do it quickly. Nothing good can come from such misery. When we wind up in the hospital with chest pains or worse, we suddenly realize that we are literally killing ourselves to hold on to what causes us such grief. I know this first hand – luckily God helped me before I suffered too much.

We hold on to jobs and relationships that do not fit us just so that we will have them. They may do us more harm than good, but we get into such a state of fear of doing without that we hold on ever more tightly. One day the rubber band breaks and we are forced to see the reality of our situation. People are generally not naturally negative. Negativity is caused by doing what causes us internal conflict. Working at a job that is against you grain will cause you such internal conflict. If you are a person of ethics, it is almost impossible for you to work for those who have none. If you are bored with your life, then your life will be filled with nothing but strife. Your soul will seek to get out of your struggle which will heighten the struggle. One day, the struggle will end. How it ends may or may not be of your choosing.

Taking an inventory of our lives will offer us much insight into what we do that causes us to be negative. Make a conscious choice to eliminate as much negativity as possible as quickly as possible. If your neighbors cause you discomfort, move. If your family causes you discomfort, leave. If your job causes you to suffer, find another. Be rational, but be proactive. Leaving your family is very difficult and will cause discomfort of its own. Be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Never leave loved ones without having made a committed effort at correcting the cause of the discomfort. If you cannot find solace, then do what you must.

Don't be so selfish that you abandon your children because they cause you grief. This is not the type of situation correction that is ever warranted. You must take responsibility for those whom you have created – your children. You will never have peace if you run away from your children. Think about how their lives would be affected by such a thing, and know that this is not an option. You can move away from your parents or in-laws; you can divorce your spouse; you can end a painful relationship; but you can never abandon your children without regret.

I went to a store today to exchange something. The clerk behind the counter looked as if she were ready to fight. I asked if her line was open and she said yes in an unamused tone. The clerk, working in returns, told me that a credit could not be issued for a credit. I told her that I had done it before and she said, "Oh, let me see." To her surprise it worked. This seemed to irritate her even more. She handed me the receipt and I had to ask if the transaction were finished. Somebody must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Her attitude was surely a reflection of something in her life. Her negativity could have jumped off on me and I could have worn it all day. I chose to let it go, as surely she had bigger issues to deal with. Dealing with clerks can be a hassle, but have you ever been a clerk? Dealing with customers is no picnic either. I don't envy clerks and fully believe that they aren't paid enough.

My interaction with the clerk was not personal, as her attitude had been affected before I got there. Her lack of amusement was probably caused by some negativity from another person totally unrelated to my transaction. I know that there are days when I have felt just like she did – some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Some days are worse than nightmares. If you have more bad days than good days, perhaps you should get started on that inventory at once. Something is rotten somewhere, and it may just be you. We are often the product of our environment. If you get yelled at by someone, chances are it is difficult to let go of it. If you yell at someone, you let it go as you are somehow vindicated. Think before you act – you can be the very one who puts a negative coat on someone else.

I've never been one to subscribe to the notion of vibes or that everyone puts off vibes. All this business about auras and such seems like something for those who delve into the metaphysical and I don't even know what that means really. From my Biblical basis, vibes were not a part of the program. But as I get older, I am actually starting to believe that some people do have negative vibes, just as others have positive vibes. Perhaps vibes is just another word for attitude, but realizing that I am affected by the negativity of others brings me to a new appreciation for the notion of vibes. Throw in a few chakra details and I'm living in a whole new element. I have some learning to do about such things – remember, I still have trouble with meditation. One day I am certain that what I need to know will be revealed to me. So, whatever you believe – believe. Call it what you will, but people do give off what can easily be associated with the term vibes.

If you stop and analyze people's characteristics, you can surmise that most are either positive or negative. Perhaps it is more of a circumstance than a characteristic. I consider myself to be positive, but can be very negative at times. It is always my greatest desire to always be positive, but the fact remains that given a negative circumstance, my vibes reflect the circumstance. If we further assume that all souls are from God and are basically love, then it is justifiable that negativity flows from circumstance rather than personality. We can mistakenly associate negativity as a personality trait, if the person more often exhibits negativity. For our purposes and for the higher understanding of souls as part of the All, let's agree that negativity is not an inherent characteristic of a person and let's put the blame on circumstances. I know that my negativity comes from how I perceive situations and by changing my perceptions, I can eliminate negativity.

There are other influences that bring forth negativity. I have recently realized that certain TV shows bring forth negativity. I've had to stop watching one of my favorite shows, because I always feel down when the show is over. This may sound like the most stupid thing, but honestly I absorb negativity from the news also. Watch one news program and consciously count the number of negative stories portrayed, as opposed to the positive stories. During this time of wars, I am particularly depressed about all of our troops being in places where they are not appreciated. It breaks my heart to know that they are subjected to constant assaults while trying to bring peace and democracy to those who do not even understand the concept. I think of all of the families who have lost their children, to those who put no value on the lives of those who are working to help them. Talk about overwhelming sadness and despair – our efforts to improve human rights have cost so many their very lives.

Be conscious of all of the negative influences in your day. Take the time to realize that simply watching the news can bring you to the point of believing that all people are bad and there is no good in the world. You hear almost daily about a missing child who is found murdered. You hear about the rising unemployment rate and the economic downturn that presently exists. You hear about children who are abandoned. I am recently aware of just how many stories there are about sickness. It would seem that sickness makes good news as it is everywhere we turn. It's no wonder that our medical system is overloaded – the constant advertising of sickness remedies is enough to make people sick.

Imagine that every news program is filled with stories of happiness and joy as they are with horror and misery. Why does bad news sell better than happy news? It is our nature to enjoy the misery of others. Misery loves company. I think that we would be much better off not watching the news, since the news is such a downer. I've learned to turn the TV off and stick to other forms of entertainment. At least I can watch comedy shows or not watch TV at all. There is great entertainment to be had, but we must know that we are affected by what we watch and we must make better choices. Knowing what causes us to be negative can help us stay away from negativity, so that we can be more positive. Every day I turn on the news, the first thing I hear is number of U.S. soldiers killed today. How can I simply dismiss this and not be affected?

It takes a lot of practice to change your entire way of thinking about life. When once you were totally focused on the physical, suddenly trying to focus on spiritual things is a tough nut to crack. It seems to go against our very core; yet, our very core is spiritual, so it has to be the return to our core that causes us discomfort. Letting go of our drive to satisfy the physical is very hard. It's all we've known for so long. We've always been taught to work to make a living and everything else takes a back seat. Now we are driven to fulfill our purposes without even a clue as to how or when or where. It's almost like pointing to a star in the sky and telling it to come into your life so that you can fulfill your purpose, then having to wait for it to arrive. It's tough when you are compelled to let God bring to you what you can't even believe that is possible for you to have. Instead of using your own skills and intellect, you have to let go and let God. This still makes me very uncomfortable and uneasy.

Of course, I let God know often how I need to see proof in order to believe. He tells me to look at these books as proof of His assurances for my life and my livelihood. I truly do know that I could never have written these books without divine intervention; yet, I somehow still doubt. It is my nature and only God can change my beliefs by giving me what I need. Why is it so difficult for me to believe that God actually gives to me what I need before I need it? Why can I not just totally let go? Forty three years of experience makes it hard for me to let go. I chose to satisfy myself that I could not bring happiness into my life for forty three years. Now, I have chosen the path to true happiness, knowing that what I've done before has not given me the internal satisfaction that I crave. Only those things brought to me by God give me true joy and happiness. I have never once chosen something that brought happiness when I have chosen alone.

I feel confident that everything happens for a reason and that I will see things beyond my belief, just as I have seen these books materialize. The books are but a start on the path of my purpose. He has told me that they are merely a vehicle for what is to come. I simply have to do what I'm told and trust God to produce all that my dreams require. Can you do this? Can you let go of your present way of doing things and simply trust that God will provide? It's not as easy as you might think. When you've worked for many years to eek out a living, you realize that you eat by your efforts. You may eat by your efforts, but you are never filled or satisfied except when God's efforts are allowed to manifest in your life. If mediocre is what keeps you happy, continue to do what you are doing. If you feel that you have more to give and want more out of life, then put the burden on God and allow Him to work His magic.

Do you really believe that homeless people are created by God as a punishment for wrong doing? Do you believe that God will let you starve if you call to Him for help? Do you honestly believe that He does not have your best interest at heart? Put Him to task and let Him know how you feel. He's made some really big promises and I intend to maximize on each one. It is only when I go to God that I find the greatest joy that I have ever known. It is not when I make my own choices about who, what or when that I find my deepest pleasure and happiness. How many times have I thought that this person would make me very happy, only to find that he did not. How many times have I had to learn that a new car did not bring me anything except car payments. How many times, only once so far, have I learned that owning a home is more expensive than I thought and the mortgage is only the tip of the iceberg. The grass is often not as green as I thought it might be.

Now God's grass is always green – the greenest shade of green possible. I'm impatient and just hate to wait. I want it now and now isn't really soon enough. Waiting for God to line up the details is the hardest thing of all for me. I get restless, edgy and doubtful. I'm a very action oriented person and I like to get things marked off the "to-do" list as quickly as possible. Why can't God be more like me? (As if this were ideal) If you suddenly realize that you have a grand purpose, you don't want to wait. You want to get busy and get things done. We have to stop and realize as God does, that all things happen in their proper time and order. Our peaceful Godliness helps us know this, so that we can patiently await our next move.

Ok, maybe not patiently await, but perhaps anxiously lined up at the starting gate filled with enthusiasm and anticipation. That's more like it. I'm so filled with anticipation that I can hardly wait to get started. Yeah, enthusiasm is something that I haven't felt in years. That's what God's efforts bring forth – joy and exuberance. That's the difference between my work and God's work. God's work leaves us feeling alive and filled to the max with excitement. You can't wait to get up in the morning to see what will happen next. The previous lethargy is gone like yesterday's bad habits. You will spring into each day as if it were your last. That's what God's influence does in our lives.

God knows that all things are possible and when you become one with Him, you know the same. You aren't filled with doubt and worry – you are filled with joy and love for all that is happening. You don't sit around and contemplate the possibilities; you buzz around as a bee ready to see what happens next. Boredom is a thing of the past. Loneliness is no longer an issue. Listlessness – kiss it goodbye. You know that God doesn't waste time in idle pursuits; He lives life to the fullest through you, and He does not want to settle for less.

Chapter 13 - The New You

Has anything happened to demonstrate the new you? Have you surprised yourself lately by doing something totally out of character? Do you suddenly see yourself as above most situations – untouched by physical reality? Do you catch yourself looking younger and more filled with energy? Is there a new skip to your step? Where have you been hiding all these years?

The new you, the new spiritual you, is bursting at the seams to try out all of your new spiritual gifts. What spiritual gifts, you ask? Did we fail to mention that the same powers that God has you have also? Oops, we must have forgotten the really fun side of spirituality. The Bible lists spiritual gifts, but I don't think the list is all inclusive. Check in with God and you may find that there are gifts far beyond those listed in the Bible. You may find that you have the power to change the universe with a single thought. You may find that your energy changes everything. You may find that you can literally move mountains if you have the desire. You may find that healing the sick is but your second nature. You may find that you know things that defy explanation. You may find that you didn't have a clue of all that there is available to those who believe.

The spiritual masters don't go around bragging about what they can do. They don't advertise the gifts that come with the belief. God will give to those who ask, so you have to know to ask, so that you can get in on the good stuff. Do you think that God sits around wishing for things? Have you ever heard a spiritual master speak of wanting or needing something? Those in the "know" have all that they need. Those who know how, usually don't tell the rest of us how to get where they are. Some do, such as Jesus. He told us marvelous things – as I have done so shall you do also. Do you think that He was lying or just feeding us a line when He said this? Let's take Him up on the offer and expect to do what He has done.

I want to teach, heal, spread the Word, bring peace, be the light, etc., just as Jesus did. I am able to do what He did, and I fully expect to be what He was. I am a part of God, just as Jesus was and granted He's more advanced spiritually than me, but I want it all. The new me knows that this is both possible and attainable. The spiritual gifts are not for my own purpose, but for the service of others. Jesus didn't profess God for His own sake; He professed God for the sake of others. My pitiful old self could hardly help me, much less others. My new self knows that I can do nothing but help others.

My new self knows that negativity comes from all angles, and I must consciously choose to avoid it and its effects. Awareness of negative influences gives me the key to keeping it in proper perspective. Knowing that negativity is available at every turn reinforces my commitment to the need to serve others and to be the most positive influence on others that I can. If I can be the one bright spot in someone's day, then surely that is my purpose. If I can bring a smile when there is only sadness, then my work is done. I have to see that life is more than what we absorb. We have to put out positive vibes to counteract the negative vibes swirling all around us. My new self knows that I am easily influenced by outside influences and is prepared to deal with the onslaught.

I am more aware than ever before of how I am no longer one, but am the culmination of all. I am the product of all that surrounds me and can not separate myself from all that there is. Living as one with the All opens my spiritual awareness and allows me to see all that affects me. As never before, I am aware of all and that I am part of it. When once I contemplated what I would do with only me to consider, now I contemplate what I will do with all to consider. I am no longer one. I am now all. Being part of the All gives me responsibility for the All and I must do my part to benefit the All. It is no longer a simple matter of what is good for me; now it is a matter of what is good for the All. This is truly a higher purpose that I've ever had before. When once my purpose was to work and make a living. Now my purpose is to serve the All by doing all that I can.

This may be overwhelming at first. It is not until we realize that by serving the All, the resources of the All are available to help our service. When we see that by giving we receive, we can begin to see that all is possible when we have the All serving the All. The resources of the universe are limitless. Tapping into this unlimited universe does make the task much easier to accomplish. Sure, if it were just you trying to influence the All, then you would have a very tough task to accomplish. Knowing that you have the resources of the universe at your fingertips, makes nothing impossible for you.

God does not allow you to go it alone. He gives you everything that you need to do what it is your destiny to do. Your new self with all available resources can do whatever you can imagine. If you sit and imagine that you are destined to be the best advocate for children the world has ever known, then God will give you the tools to make it happen. This is God's commitment to you and the All. This is hard for us to believe and by seeing God manifest miraculous things in your life, you will be strengthened to proceed to the limits of your potential. God knows that you need what you need; He provides more than what you need to accomplish your purpose. If you need a dozen pens, He will give you a thousand pens. Quantity is not an issue for God; your commitment is.

So, you haven't seen the thousand pens? Proceed as if you have them and they will come to you before you need them. Don't have the resources to help the homeless? Don't waste time with your hand out, get busy and proceed with your work and all will be added to you. It is this leap of faith that gets the motor running. Just as I can't imagine the impact of these books, I don't sit around and wait for the impact to be shown. I type and type and type. I have confidence that God will take care of the details and I have to do my part to get the energy flowing. There are certainly limits to what I alone can do. There are no limits to what God can do. If we sit and wait on the results, we will be forever waiting on the results. Proceed with confidence and God will take care of the details.

My new self knows this without a doubt. My old self can't even imagine that I can do anything more than what I've done. I'm not going to waste another minute with the old self. I want more – I want it all. As God directed me to write, so I am doing. If God has told you to do something that it totally out of your character, take heed and do it anyway. I am not a writer by training, but I can surely type. I always wondered why it was so important that I learn to type – now I know. I have had secretaries, yet I always did my own typing. Typing as I have done over the past three months is beyond what I thought I could actually do. I'm no speed typist by any means. I think my best time was around 35 WPM when I was in high school, oh so many years ago. I now think my best time is on the backspace key. But I do what I can, knowing that God will make the best use of me and my skills.

There are those who are so much more proficient than me at everything that I do. Why me? I can only guess that it is because I choose to serve. I give my life back to God with the expectation that He will give my life back to me. This sounds weird, but it makes sense if you realize that my life was nothing more than a series of mindless repetitions. My life has not been filled with excitement and joy; sure there have been moments, but the overall is not what you would celebrate. I expect that God will give me the life that I want, filled with all that there is to celebrate. I don't know what's ahead – but I know what I've left behind. I can't see the future, but I can see the past and know that I want more out of the next half of my life. I want to live my life to the fullest!

Living life to the fullest does not include doing what I've done in the past. Change is required and I'm ready to make the necessary changes. The new me is full of energy and anticipation. The new me knows that great things are ahead. The new me wants to demonstrate to others what I have come to learn. The new me wants to touch the lives of those who have found themselves in much the same stagnant state that I found myself. The new me knows that I have been helped by others and I do wish to return the favor. I want Neale to know that his efforts greatly affected my life. I want Doreen to know that she has brought great inspiration into my life. There are so many others that I can not possibly list them all. I wish to return the favor to the All for all that the All has given me. I'm not sure what I can do, but I will do all that I can.

If by touching one life I have made a difference, then let that be today. The same goes for you – choose to serve and you do nothing but serve. If by giving one person a reason to smile, then my day is complete. Don't sweat the magnitude – God takes care of that. Do what you can in all that you do and that is enough. Your new self is instinctively drawn to your purposeful fulfillment. You don't have to sit around and contemplate your destiny. Of course, it is helpful to spend time in quiet contemplation of all that there is and all that you want to be. You have to take the time to dream before you can be directed to fulfill your dream. Create your dream, then go after it with all of your might.

There are many who would consider me a fool for even having taken the time to type these words. Ok, so I'm a fool. I've done more foolish things in my life, so I won't stop now. My being considered a writer is much like considering a bear a bicycle rider. Bears can be taught to ride bicycles; I've seen it on TV. Surely it is no further stretch to think that I can write. The greater stretch here is that I should take credit for words that I have not compiled. I am no more the creator of this document than I am the creator of my very being. I am merely the secretary who types the words given. This I can and have done.

What is your dream? I wish that I could know what you see ahead for yourself. I wish that I could feel the excitement that you feel when you imagine your dream fulfillment. I bet the excitement could fill a room. Think every day about what you desire for your life and don't even once think that it isn't possible. I have heard so many stories of those who faced impossible odds and achieved miraculous things. Thinking that something is impossible is really the greatest barrier that you will face. Once you tell yourself that it is possible, then it becomes possible. Don't get caught up in the details of how it is possible; know that it is possible. Once you believe that it is possible, then the possibilities will reveal themselves. Your new self will not take no for an answer.

Your new self is inspired. Your new self is full of wonder and excitement. Your new self knows what has never been known by you before. In the face of great uncertainty, you somehow know that everything is as it should be and that all will work out according to your desires. What on earth causes you to think such lunacy? Your very soul causes you to know what you feel. Your mind is boggled by what you feel. Your mind has a tough time going where your soul takes you. You may have to drag your mind along kicking and screaming, but surely it will go to where your soul finds peace. My mind just hates going shopping, but I have to drag it along when I need to buy something. Sure, it fights all the way, but it has to go. I may even trick my mind by offering it a treat for the effort. Sure, my mind falls for it every time – right. Sometimes we have to let the soul convince the mind that everything is ok and that the mind should just take a chill pill.

If your mind is like mine, you have to fight it every day. My soul and my mind are constantly at odds. One says work, and one says play. One says yes, the other says no. One says go, the other says stay. Much like caging a wild animal, we have to cage our minds. We have to limit the mind's control over us, so that we aren't controlled by our thoughts of security and fear. Fear runs rampant if we let it and our minds are the creators of our fear. Sure, our minds have our best interest at heart, but they will keep us chained to our safety and will never let us be free to have fun. Our new selves have put our minds in proper check and are open to the suggestions of the soul. As never before, our souls have become prominent in our lives and are leading us to our fulfillment. We will never be content until we listen to our souls. Our minds teach us to be careful; our souls teach us to experience all that there is. Our minds have their rightful place; but their rightful place is one of balance, not control.

Our new selves are all about service, not about selfishness. Our new selves know that we are not complete until we have given all that we have to all that there is. We are not truly ourselves until we are busy doing what it is that we are called to do. We no longer see that we are what we do – we see that we are what we are. We know that what we are is a part of something much larger and spectacular than we have ever imagined. Our souls seek to join their creator and will not be satisfied with anything less. Once our souls are in control, we are fully realized to create with unlimited potential all that we are and can be. We see that we are nothing less than everything. That's a really tall order of magnitude, but is what we truly are. Until we realize our potential magnificence, we will never be fulfilled with the knowledge and wisdom of God.

We can learn with our minds all that there is to be learned, but until we fully experience all that we can be, we will not be complete. Sitting at home in our favorite chair is not what our soul desires. Our souls desire that our every waking minute be spent in the tireless pursuit of all that we can be. Knowing God causes us to know ourselves fully. Knowing that God is everything, everywhere all the time gives us confidence to be all that we can be. If we allow ourselves to be limited, then we are limited. If we allow ourselves to never be limited, then we never are. This is tricky, but makes all the difference in our lives.

Our new selves are never satisfied with less. Our new selves require that we do what it is that we enjoy and live our lives to the fullest. This does not happen by trying to hold on to what we have or know; we must rise above what we have and fly to the far reaches of our imaginations. Keeping our feet firmly on the ground will not bring us happiness. Just as being able to pay my bills on time is nice, it does not bring joy. For some, paying your bills on time would bring joy. So, let whatever brings you joy, bring you joy. Let your life be the way that you choose it to be. Don't sit around and wish for greatness. Don't sit around. Put your mind into action and make greatness happen.

If we believe that God imposes no limits on us, then what is stopping us from being great? What is stopping us from getting what we deserve? Your new self knows that you will never be satisfied with less, so demand that you get what you deserve. Put God to task. He knows you all too well. Tell Him whatever you wish to let Him know and listen to His terrific advice. Sure, you may not get the answer you expected, but you will get some wonderful guidance. I was complaining to God night before last about being dissatisfied with having to wait for action. The universe doesn't seem to be doing its part for me.

God threw me the usual curve and told me that I might better do some research into publishing contracts, before I complain about not having one. Sure, throw me off base with some more distractions, eh? God has a way of keeping me off balance. So, I did a little research and was soon overwhelmed with details. I didn't have a clue of all that is involved. I guess His advice was wise as I would be standing at the publisher's office with that look of total shock had I not been prepared. If you need a good laugh, picture the look on my face of total ignorance.

Again I am reminded to be careful what I ask for, because I just might get it. I am forever reminded of just how little I know about life and all of its details. But, I won't be dissuaded and will learn what I can before the day comes. How wise is God to give me the heads up on that one? Let this be an example to you that God will give you what you need before you need it. Oh, He could have let me stew in my own bath by not letting me in on the contract stuff – instead, he chose to save me from my own embarrassment. I have to give thanks for that one. Know that He does provide, but don't expect it to be as you imagined. Sure, I want cash to fall from the sky, so that I don't have to worry about all of this. God has a different plan and I must do what is best for the All. I probably wouldn't even appreciate free cash once I had it. It would go straight to my head and soon, I'd be just as poor as before. Working for something does make it more valuable.

There is never a time when I feel without God. I have struggled much in my life to get and stay on the hotline to God. Really, my only struggle is with myself, as He is always there. Awareness that I am the only interference between me and God, allows me to be able to put aside my resistance and allow God to flow freely. I am the one who puts up the wall. I am the one who gets mad and refuses to talk to God. I am the one who has a tantrum like a small child. I am the one who will cut off my nose to spite my face. I am the one who simply didn't understand that God wants for me what I want for me. I am the one who now knows that God is me and I am Him. I am the one who sees God in everything. I am the one who takes responsibility for my own life. I am the one who knows that God gives to those who ask. I am the one who knows that God gives all to those who give all. I know that God is great and that I want to know more.

Chapter 14 - Where Do We Go From Here?

Imagine the possibilities. We can go wherever we please and we please to go everywhere. God will lead us on the path of our choice. Now that we know that nothing can stop us, we must realize where it is that we want to go. The universe is unlimited and so is our potential. Our godliness knows no bounds and we are forever seeking more. If we choose to grow spiritually, God will show us how. If we choose to be great in whatever we choose, then God will give us what we need. If we choose to play the violin in concert, then let nothing stand in our way. If we choose to preach, then preach we must. You must know what you must do before you can do it. You must know what you are before you can be what you are. Take the time to set your sights as high as you will go. Know that you are already there and simply enjoy the ride.

There are amazing and wondrous examples of those who have gone before us. The more I learn about God, the more that I am brought to examples of those who learned before me. I am amazed by what I learn now. I am more amazed that what I learn has been learned before. There is documented ancient wisdom that is identical to what I have now learned. God does tell us repeatedly about Himself. He reveals Himself to all generations. He talks over and over yet we fail to fully realize that He is talking. There has been much research done into the teachings of old, and much of what has been revealed, is just as what is being revealed. God's teachings are not new to us. God has always given just as He will always give. If you need proof, do some research for yourself.

There is nothing new revealed about God. The only revelations are within us, as we are open to the knowledge of God. There are writings from thousands of years ago that say much of what is written here. The language may be different, but the message is the same. God wants us to know Him. God wants us to be Him. God gives us what we need to know Him as He really is. It is when we put our own spin on things that we lose sight of God's true greatness. We have allowed translations to skew our view of God. We have put things into the Bible that aren't what God intended. We have put upon God things that we intend God to be. The more that we learn about God from God, the more we know that He is only love.

We spend much time fearing God instead of loving God. We have been taught that by going to church we go to God. It is not God that causes us to go to church, but our religious leaders that promote their own. Somewhere in the back of our minds, we know that God cannot possibly be the vengeful punishing God that we have been taught. We just could never be reconciled to the notion, that God gives us free will then punishes us for exercising it. The rational mind cannot justify this. We have allowed our God to be the God of others. We have separated ourselves from God out of laziness. We don't take the time to know Him personally, so we allow others to make our beliefs what they are. Do you really think that hell exists literally as a burning pit? Do you really think that there is a devil with a pitch fork and a pointed tail? Do you really think that the devil made you do it? WAKE UP AND KNOW THAT YOU MADE YOU DO IT!

Take responsibility for your own life. Know that God is not what you are taught by others, but is what He has taught you. God has never once told me that the devil made me do anything. God has never told me that He is punishing me for my sins. God has never told me that I have committed any sins. God has never told me that He will judge me at the pearly gates for all that I did, which He allowed me to do. Has God told you that you are not worthy of Him? Has God ever told you that you are going to hell for what you've done? Has God ever sent the devil to tempt you? You might think so, until you ask God and find out that there is no devil except of your own imagining. We punish ourselves and put limitations on ourselves. We allow the teachings of others to stand between us and God. Does the holiest person alive have more of a right to God than I do? Does man's assigning holiness to a person actually make that person holy? Does the proclamation of someone as a Saint after his death actually make him a Saint?

Why are you not a Saint? In God's eyes everyone is a Saint. Regardless of your choices, you can do no wrong. You can only do what is right for you. You will grow and learn that there are more wise choices in life. You will grow and realize that what you see is not all there is. You will grow and know first hand God and all that He is. If it is your deepest desire, you will forever grow toward oneness with God. This is our highest goal and deepest desire. We have an innate desire to be reunited with God. The more that we learn, the more that we learn that we have more to learn. Growth is not easy, but is necessary if we want to be reunited with God.

On our journey, we do not have the privilege of seeing our growth over the years of our history. We can only view what has happened in this life during this life. If you are now reading this, I feel confident that you have grown much in the past and are seeking to grow exponentially more now. Realizing that it takes many lives to master Godliness, you can know that you are well on your way if you are contemplating these things now. You have already come far on your soul's journey. Maybe you haven't totally arrived, but you are much further than most. Think of all of the souls who are still worried about even the most simple things. You have risen above the simple things and are searching for much higher things. You are seeking spiritual life instead of physical life. There are those who are on this earth at every possible level of development. You know this to be true.

Does it really matter at what point you are in your development? Is it more important that you know what you know and seek to know more? There really is no measure of success, so only growth should be your consideration. Seeking to learn to be more spiritual is your goal and there are many ways to learn. If you like to read, do some reading. There are myriad examples of God's wisdom for everyone to read. If you like to write, ask God to give you the wisdom that you seek. Be forever diligent in your quest and you will never be disappointed. You path will be filled with wonderful enlightenment. God has much to give – you need only ask.

Our journey from here will be the observation of manifestation of what we have chosen. We have taken the time to leave I behind and have chosen to seek oneness. We have given ourselves to God and are about to experience what God has to offer. The knowledge part of the journey is first; manifestation is second. This is our time to see what we have chosen in the fulfillment of our dreams. Be ever diligent in your communication with God. You want to know what is going on and you want to be fully prepared for the greatest experience. Do what God tells you to do when you ask for direction. This is wise and very enlightening, yet not necessary. If God tells you to write, run for your paper and pen. If God tells you to play, run outside and play.

Your growth comes from many sources. By playing, you can learn the joy of God's happiness. By playing, you can learn many things more than you ever thought possible. Do what you feel led to do. Seek God's guidance at every turn for only living by His guidance, will you ever know what true happiness is. Don't let circumstance cause you to give up. See every circumstance as a great opportunity for greater success. There really is no option but your success. Know this and live this.

Conclusion

This fifth book is completed within three months of beginning the first. As if this were not amazing enough, know that my spiritual growth has happened at almost warp speed through this process. God has given me this intermission in my life to jump start my life's purpose. It is rare that one is so fortunate as to receive a gift such as this. It is with awe that I find myself standing at the door to my soul's fulfillment. My hands shake as I type this last few words, knowing that my life has been magically transformed never to be the same.

I trust that God has worked similar magic in your life and will continue to do so. I have grown from a person filled with hopelessness and despair to one of hope and happiness in three short months. What has been revealed to me in this short time is beyond my belief. I have stepped outside my old self and have taken advantage of the opportunity to grow that I requested and was so fortunate to receive. I know that the path ahead will be filled with all that God has to offer. I know that I have wanted more and now I am filled with more than I ever imagined.

Leaving I behind has been the most difficult growth opportunity that I have ever had. Putting aside all that was known, for that which is not yet seen is tough. Realizing that I am a part of God just as you are, has given me a new insight into knowing God as He really is. I now want nothing more than to serve God and know that by wanting to serve, I can do nothing else. My days of discontent are over. My days of just trying to survive are no more. I have chosen to live life to the fullest and am finding that God is filling me ever more with bounty beyond belief. Never in my life have I grown so much in such a short time. Having lived this monumental experience teaches me that there really is nothing impossible for God. God will give us what we need to succeed, regardless of our measure of success. We need only seek in order to find.

I was told that there would be five books written and this has been done. It is with wonder and excitement that I have been so gifted to receive God's words to type. I do not know the ramifications, but I do know that God uses those for His purpose when they choose to serve. If I have done well for God, then I am filled with great joy. My next writing (typing) will be of the wonderful manifestations that have been realized since I have learned to seek.

What does God have in store for you? How will you be fulfilled? What do you choose to manifest? Always there are questions to be answered and wisdom to be sought. Let yourself never be satisfied with what you already know – forever seek to know more. There is much to learn for those who wish to learn. There is knowledge unlimited awaiting those who wish to know. Never allow yourself to be limited by yourself or others. Know that you are part of God and that God is everything. You can do everything that God can do, so don't settle for less.

Want everything and want to know everything. Desire all that you imagine. Be what you have always wanted to be. Give God your list of desires and don't let Him off the hook. Talk with God every day as often as possible. Don't just talk at God, allow Him to respond. Get in touch with yourself at the deepest level, so that you will know what you truly desire. Don't be swayed by circumstance – see the good in everything. Refuse negativity from wherever it may come. Always let positive be your output, so that you can be uplifting to others. As God has done for you, do for others. Perhaps the next book that I read will have your name on it. Perhaps the next person that I meet will be you and you will have a wonderful story to share. Don't keep yourself hidden under a rock, be all that you can be and do all that you can do.

I so look forward to the path ahead. I have always known that there was more to life than I had ever experienced. I'm ready to see God as He really is. I'm ready to know God as He really is. I've given my life to God for His service, knowing that serving God is what I freely choose to do and feel as if I can do nothing else. What have you chosen?

Bibliography

Chopra, Deepak. The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire. New York: Harmony Books, 2003.

The Lockman Foundation. The New American Standard Bible. California: Riverside, 1960.

Tyndale House Publishers. The Living Bible. Illinois: Tyndale, 1971.

Walsch, Neale Donald. Conversations With God Book 1 New York: Putnam, 1995.

PBS. Nova. The Elegant Universe. Virginia: 2003.

Desilu/Paramount Studios. Star Trek TV Series. California: 1966.

MTV Networks/Viacom. Cribs. New York: 2003.

EBAY, Inc. The World's Online Marketplace. California: 2003.

The Scribe Described

This scribe did not intend to be, yet was somehow chosen. Destiny played its part, shifting me to we, from I to all. I have always had a great curiosity about God and had studied much on the subject, but my primary focus was my career. Learning about God took on a new twist when God inspired me to write the words heard. "Hearing" is not how the words actually come, for it is more of a "knowing." When the mind is quieted, the emptiness is filled with inspired knowledge.

I write as and when instructed, either with pen or keyboard. The vehicle does not matter, but the content is to be kept sacred. Always, I understand that I must keep the sanctity of the gift given. Regardless of my own judgments about the content, I understood that the content is not about or for me. The content is to be presented as received, for the benefit of those seeking to have their questions answered.

I cannot profess to be specially qualified, except that I am able to simply bring the words received to print. My credentials really do not offer credence to the work, except that they are verifiable and do demonstrate the normality of my life. I do hold degrees in accounting and education and have thirty years business experience.

K. C. Boone

