

Strike Out

Book One in the Texas Titans Series

Cheryl Douglas

Copyright © by Cheryl Douglas

Smashwords Edition

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Strike Out © 2013 Cheryl Douglas

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Strike Out - Book One

When professional baseball player, Zach Foster, agreed to go into business with five of his best friends, he didn't expect their little sports bar to evolve into a national chain, spanning fifty states, but it did. The business helps to fill the void in Zach's life during the off-season, but when he closes his eyes at night, he still can't forget the girl who left that gaping hole in his heart when she left him standing at the altar without so much as a note to explain her disappearance.

Lauren 'Rennie' Alexander would do anything to fulfill a sick child's wish. Not only is it her job, as director of the Sky's the Limit Foundation, but it's her passion. So when one of her volunteers brings her a letter scribbled in crayon, complete with an application from the little boy's loving parents, Rennie is ready to make another dream come true. Until she realizes that sick little boy's dream is her worst nightmare. He wants to meet his hero, baseball player, Zach Foster. The same lying, cheating, jerk who broke Rennie's heart. It's seems Rennie has no choice but to take one for the team.

# Prologue

Lauren Baldwin, or "Rennie" to her friends, smiled when she saw her fiancé's number flash across her screen. They were getting married the next day and had promised not to call or see each other the night before. But she was gratified to know he missed her as much as she missed him. She could scarcely believe that tomorrow she would be Mrs. Zach Foster. That had been her dream since she first laid eyes on the All-Star pitcher in the tenth grade.

"Hey you," she said, a slow smile spreading across her face as she waited to hear his husky voice telling her he missed her. She frowned when she heard Zach's brother's voice instead. She was about to hang up--realizing he'd pocket dialed her again--when what she heard made her freeze.

"I still can't believe Ramirez was stupid enough to get his girlfriend knocked up," Zach said, laughing.

"Don't laugh," his brother, Kevin, said. "You could be in his shoes soon enough."

"Not a chance in hell, man," Zach said. "You know my motto: no glove, no love."

"Yeah, but you and Rennie are getting married tomorrow. You don't think that'll change?"

"No way. I've got more important things to worry about than having a kid."

"Yeah," Kevin said, chuckling, "like winning the World Series, huh?"

"That's gotta be my primary focus." Zach sucked in a deep breath. "I can't let anything or anyone distract me from that."

Rennie's hand covered her stomach as tears slid down her cheeks. He didn't sound anything like the man who'd asked her to marry him, who'd been planning a future with her and claiming she was the most important thing in the world to him.

"I still can't believe you're getting married tomorrow," Kevin said. "What the hell changed your mind? One minute you're telling me you're years away from making that kind of commitment, and the next thing I know, you show up at the folks' 4th of July barbeque announcing you're engaged."

"You know the way Rennie is," Zach said. "When she gets something in her head, she doesn't let go until she gets her way."

Rennie felt a familiar wave of nausea wash over her. He was implying she'd pressured him into marrying her. Had she? She'd talked about it a lot, but only because she believed he wanted it as much as she did.

"Yeah, I know," Kevin said. "She's something else all right." He asked a question Rennie was almost afraid to hear the answer to. "You love her though, right?"

Silence that stretched on too long made her heart plummet. "Yeah, sure, I love her. What kind of question is that? We've been together forever."

"I still can't believe you're marrying your high school sweetheart. You're the most valuable pitcher in the majors right now. You could have any woman you want. Are you sure you don't wanna take more time and make sure Rennie's really the one?"

Rennie's stomach pitched and rolled. She couldn't believe the men she'd loved and trusted all of her adult life--one like a brother, the other her lover--were talking about her as if she was someone they barely knew.

"I told you, I love Rennie."

"Yeah, but what's gonna happen when she pressures you about kids? Are you gonna cave then too?"

"Hell no!" She heard the clink of glass followed by muttered curses and laughter. Rennie could tell by their voices that they'd been drinking. Not that it mattered. She knew that every word Zach spoke was the heart-breaking truth. "That's where I draw the line. No kids for me."

"Ever?"

Rennie's hand covered her stomach again as though she feared her unborn baby may hear the truth: his father didn't want him. She'd planned to tell Zach about the baby on their honeymoon. She had hoped her pregnancy would be a welcome surprise. Turns out, she was the one surprised.

"Someday maybe," Zach said, sighing. "When I'm done with baseball."

"That could be a long while." Kevin coughed. "You really think she's gonna wait that long?"

Zach chuckled. "What choice does she have? It takes two, right?"

"I guess. What happens if she tells you she's taking the pill and she's not?"

"Man..." Zach laughed, and Rennie heard what sounded like his palm hitting a slab of wood. "You think I'm stupid enough to leave it up to her? Hell no."

So he didn't trust her either? Rennie sank down on a bench seat at her parents' coffee shop. She'd stopped by to see her little sister and to make plans for later. Jackie and the rest of her bridal party were spending the night at her apartment so they could get to their early morning salon appointment without worrying about stragglers detaining them. Jackie was serving customers behind the counter. Judging by her expression, she could tell something was wrong.

"Man, I know Rennie," Kevin said. "She loves kids. I can't imagine she's gonna wanna wait that long to have one of her own."

"Don't worry about that," Zach said. "I'll handle my soon-to-be wife's maternal instincts."

"Oh yeah?" Kevin chuckled. "How you gonna do that?"

"I'll buy her a puppy."

The two men laughed uproariously as Rennie ended the call. She never wanted to hear their voices again.

"I can finally take a break," Jackie said, sliding into the booth across from her sister. She was in her first year of college and as innocent as Rennie had been back then. Looking at her was like looking in a mirror, and she reminded Rennie of how many years she'd wasted loving the wrong man. "Hey, are you okay?" Jackie reached for her hand. "You don't look so good. Are you feeling sick again?"

Rennie hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy. She wanted to tell Zach before she shared it with her friends and family. "I'm okay." She faked a smile so she wouldn't worry her sister. "I'm gonna head out now. Okay?"

"Sure, I'll catch up with you in a couple of hours. I just talked to the rest of the girls, and they should be at your place by then."

Rennie knew faking her way through the next eighteen hours would be torture, but she was determined to make Zach suffer.

***

Zach shifted his weight from one foot to the other, casting nervous glances over his shoulder at his brother and best friends. Where the hell was Rennie? The ceremony was supposed to have started half an hour ago. According to Jackie, while at the salon that morning, she'd told her sister and friends she'd forgotten something at home and asked the limo driver to take her back to her apartment. But she promised to be at the church well before the ceremony. Being late wasn't like her, especially not for her own wedding.

Zach looked around at the expectant faces filling the church from wall to wall. Many of them looked almost as nervous as he felt. Especially the parents of the bride and groom, who shared a questioning glance before they offered Zach a reassuring smile.

Kevin stepped forward, whispering in his brother's ear, "Man, I think you've been stood up."

Fear rendered him speechless as his mind toyed with the worst-case scenarios. Accident. Illness. Cold feet. That seemed like the least plausible option. He and Rennie were solid. She wanted their marriage as much as he did. He cringed when he thought about the things he'd said in a drunken stupor last night. Thank God Rennie would never know about the conversation he'd had with his older brother. He hadn't meant the things he'd said... except about having a baby. He wasn't ready to be a father, at least not until he'd taken his team to their first World Series.

A man wearing a black suit and hat entered the church and made eye contact with Zach. Zach didn't want to walk down the white aisle. He knew if he did, the news he received would be bad. He could see the nervousness on the stranger's face, as if delivering bad news to the hometown hero would make him public enemy number one.

"Do you want me to see what he wants?" Kevin asked quietly as the guests began to note his presence.

"No, I got this," Zach said. The knot of fear in his stomach grew with every step he took. He had to know what had happened to his bride, and his gut told him the man had the answer.

"Mr. Foster," the middle-aged man said, offering his hand, "do you mind if we step outside for a minute?"

Zach shook his hand, noting they were clammy. "Sure." Leading the man outside, Zach noted the black limo parked at the curb. "Is she in there?" Even as he asked the question, he knew she wasn't. Rennie was a stickler for tradition, and she wouldn't want him to see her before the ceremony.

The limo driver stopped him with a heavy hand on Zach's shoulder. "She's not in the car. I took her to the airport."

"The airport?" Zach faced him as the dread burgeoning in his stomach erupted into full-blown fear. "What are you talking about? Why the hell would she go to the airport? We're supposed to be getting married."

Raising both hands in a gesture of helplessness, he said, "I don't know. She told the other ladies she forgot something at her place and had to go back for it."

"I know that," Zach said impatiently. "But why the hell did you take her to the airport?"

"When I took her back to her apartment, I waited outside. She came back out a few minutes later wearing a sundress and rolling a suitcase. She said she needed me to take her to the airport."

Zach swore softly, raking his hands through the light brown hair he'd taken great care to style, wanting Rennie's wedding photos to be everything she wanted. "I don't understand. Why--"

"Perhaps this will explain." The driver held out a folded sheet of blue paper. "She asked me to give you this. I'm sorry." Zach stared at the note, almost afraid to touch it. He pressed it into Zach's hand.

Zach watched the man walk down the steps toward the waiting limo, and the small square of paper scorched his hand as reality sank in. Rennie was gone. She'd left him at the altar to explain to their families and friends that, for reasons he would never understand--no matter what her note said--she didn't love him enough to marry him.

"Hey, you okay?" Kevin poked his head out of the carved doors. "What is it? Is she running late?" Zach ran a hand over his mouth, unable to find his voice. "What the hell's going on?" Kevin walked down the stairs toward Zach.

Zach held up the folded paper. "Damned if I know. She went to the airport, left this note with the limo driver."

"What does it say?" Kevin asked, his face pale despite his midsummer tan.

"I don't know." Zach paced, wishing he could transport himself to a time and place where his future with the woman he loved was set in stone. He didn't know where she was or what he'd said or done to make her question their relationship. "I can't believe this is happening. Why would she do this?"

"There's only one way to find out." Kevin gestured to the note. "You've got to read it, man."

Zach's mouth was dry, and his pulse pounded in his ears. Rennie had been in his life since his sophomore year of high school. Everyone had said they were too young to know what love was, but they proved the naysayers wrong. They'd stayed together throughout college and for the two years he played for a farm team out of state. Ten years they'd been together, and that was how it was going to end?

"Do you want me to read it?" Kevin asked.

"No, I need to do this." Taking a deep breath, his hand trembled as he unfolded the single sheet of paper. A couple of paragraphs? That's all she felt he deserved?

Dear Zach,

I'm sure you're wondering why I left. Let's just say I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. I thought we were building a relationship on a foundation of trust, love, and mutual respect. Apparently I was wrong.

It's time for me to move on, to start over in a place that doesn't remind me of you. I don't want you to try to contact me or hound my family for information about my whereabouts. If you ever loved me, just let me go.

Rennie

"I don't believe this is happening," Zach whispered, sitting on the concrete steps leading up to the church.

"Can I?" Kevin held out his hand as he sat down beside his brother.

"Sure, why not?" Zach tossed the note in his general direction. "Everyone's gonna know soon enough." Dropping his head, he tried to figure out how he would tell everyone what he didn't even understand himself. None of it made sense.

"Do you think her family knew about this?" Kevin asked after scanning the note.

"No."

A fresh wave of pain washed over Zach as he thought about what it would do to their families. Their lives, their family's lives, were inextricably linked. Their parents were the best of friends. The Baldwins were like second parents to him. Hell, Chuck Baldwin had been his Little League coach, the first person to see his potential as a pitcher. Zach had to walk into the church and tell them that he wasn't marrying their daughter because... she didn't love him anymore. She hadn't said as much, but she didn't have to. What other reason could she have for leaving?

"Oh man, what am I going to do?" Zach rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

"Let me go in there and tell them," Kevin said, slapping his younger brother on the back. "You don't need to deal with that on top of everything else."

His brother was right. Zach was having enough trouble just remembering how to breathe.

# Chapter One

Ten Years Later

"Hey, boss, you need to read this one," Terri said, holding up a letter.

"What's it say?" she asked, reaching for her second cup of take-out coffee. After sitting on her desk for two hours, it was cold, but she needed the shot of caffeine.

"This little guy--his name is Jake--has a congenital heart defect. Poor kid." Terri pouted the way she always did when she learned of a child's illness. She had a heart of gold, making her perfect for the job, but she was still too new to realize it was impossible to grant every wish, no matter how much they might want to.

When Rennie's son, Tyler, had been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes eight years ago, they spent a lot of time in hospitals and doctor's offices, undergoing tests, awaiting a diagnosis, and deciding on a treatment plan. During that time--and in the years since as she helped her son manage the life-altering diagnosis--Rennie had met too many children trying to cope with illness. Kids who needed to remember what it felt like to be kids, even if it was only for a day. That's when she decided to apply for a position as the director of a small non-profit committed to making sick children's wishes come true. The first day at her new job, she knew she'd finally found her calling.

"What's his wish?" Rennie rubbed her temples when she felt one of her seasonal headaches brewing. She did not need that. She still had too much to do before she could call it a day.

"He wants to meet Zach Foster. You know, the pitcher." Terri giggled. "I wouldn't mind meeting him myself."

Rennie was grateful she hadn't been drinking her coffee at that precise moment. If she had, she might have spewed it all over her desk. "Hmm. I'll have a look at it later." She turned her attention back to her computer screen and silently prayed, for once, her tenacious assistant would let it go. Once Terri took up a child's cause, she was relentless. She pushed until Rennie finally gave in, promising to do whatever it took to grant the applicant's wish. Not this time. The only time Rennie expected to see Zach Foster again was on the evening news.

"Come on, have a look now," Terri said, walking around her desk to place the handwritten letter, application form, and drawing on Rennie's desk. "How cute is that?" She pointed at the picture. "He even drew a picture of him and Zach."

Clenching her teeth, Rennie glanced at it. "Very cute." She couldn't deny that. It wasn't the kid's fault he had lousy taste in idols. Maybe she could contact the parents and convince them to accept a computer or gaming system instead. Those items were always popular.

"He's almost ten years old," Terri said.

The same age as Tyler. How would Zach relate to a kid the same age as their son? Could Rennie bear to watch it? Thank God Tyler had been blessed with an amazing stepfather... until last year when a cruel twist of fate took Nathan away from them. He was a hero, a first responder, who ran into burning buildings when everyone else was running out, screaming, crying, and praying for the people left inside. Nathan's job was to save the lives of the people trapped inside those burning buildings. In the process he'd lost his own life, and Tyler had lost the only father he'd ever known.

Her eyes drifted to the framed photo of Tyler and Nathan on her desk. People said time would heal her pain, but they didn't understand just how deep that pain went. She knew she didn't have enough days left on Earth to heal the hurt in her heart, and she suspected her son felt the same way. Nathan was his hero and hers too.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Terri said gently, placing her hand on Rennie's shoulder.

Releasing a shaky breath, Rennie said, "There's rarely a day I don't think about him." Who was she kidding? Rarely an hour passed when she didn't think about him.

"You've never told me how y'all met." Terri sat on the edge of Rennie's desk.

After nearly a year, she still had trouble talking about Nathan with anyone, even Tyler, who still needed to talk about him every night before bed. The therapist said it was important for her to welcome the dialogue as it was Tyler's way of dealing with his loss, but holding back her tears as her little boy reminisced was getting harder and harder. He talked about the rides at the amusement park, backyard barbeques, trips to the zoo, baseball games... That was the thing Tyler missed the most--having Nathan coach his baseball team. Baseball was her son's passion, and she couldn't help but think he had inherited his biological father's talent as well as an uncanny physical resemblance.

"He was my next-door neighbor," Rennie said, thinking back to the day they'd met. Her friend had been visiting and started drooling over the hot firefighter moving in next door. Rennie hadn't been interested in dating anyone, but it was impossible not to fall in love with Nathan.

"Ah, that's so sweet." Terri grinned. She picked up the framed photo from their wedding day. "He was hot. I can see why you're not interested in moving on. He'd be a tough act to follow."

Rennie had gone out on a couple of dates in the past year--to appease her concerned sister and parents mainly--but both had been unmitigated disasters. She spent the entire time comparing them to the two men in her past, and they came up sorely lacking. In spite of the way her relationship with Zach ended, she couldn't forget all of the qualities that had made her fall in love with him.

"I'm not interested in dating because I have a son to raise and a non-profit to run," she said, snatching the picture from Terri's hands. "Leave the application on my desk. I'll look at it after lunch."

"Rennie." Terri smiled. "How'd you get that nickname?"

Her assistant seemed determined to wreck her day by reminding her of people and events she was trying desperately to forget. "My high school boyfriend." Zach had said the name Lauren was too uppity. Rennie was sassy and sexy, like her, he claimed.

"And it stuck for all these years? He must've been pretty special to make that kind of impression."

The nickname wasn't the only thing he'd left her with, but she would never tell Terri about her son's biological father. She still couldn't believe she was living in the same city as Zach again. She'd only returned after he'd been traded. She believed her son needed to grow up with his grandparents and aunt. Then Zach got traded back to the hometown team, and she wished she'd kept her distance. Living within a hundred-mile radius of that man was too close for comfort.

"He was barely a blip on the radar screen of my life," she lied, bending down to retrieve her purse so Terri couldn't see her face. Rennie was a terrible liar. One of the curses of being a fair-skinned, natural blond was that she blushed too easily.

"About the application..." Terri held up the drawing. "I really think we should--"

"After lunch," she said, rushing for the door. Rennie was a sucker for a sick kid with a wish and she knew she didn't have a prayer of denying him, especially with tenacious Terri on his side. What am I going to do now? She ran down the three flights of stairs to the parking lot.

***

Zach was sitting around the oval table in the boardroom of High Rollers head office, listening to his best friend and the company founder, Jaxon, drone on about their profits last quarter. Zach knew they were making a boatload of money, barely able to keep up with the demand for their upscale sports bars. That's all he needed to know. Jaxon was the guy with the mind for business. Zach had provided seed money and he was still the celebrity face behind their now-famous brand, but he often felt that he didn't contribute anything else. He was an athlete, not a businessman. Being stuck in a stuffy boardroom always reminded him of being sentenced to detention in school.

"Are you listening to any of this?" Jaxon asked, tossing a pencil at Zach to get his attention.

"He's too busy thinking about that hot blonde he went out with last night," their operations director, Grayson Barrett, said with a laugh. "Man, y'all were in the newspaper this morning. She's hotter than hell. If you don't want her, I'll take her."

"Be my guest," Zach muttered, reaching for his bottle of water. He hadn't dated a woman who'd held his interest in years. Not since Rennie.

"Y'all notice his dates always look the same?" Jaxon asked with a smug smirk. "Petite blondes with big blue eyes and huge..." He held his hands out in front of his chest as the rest of the guys laughed. Zach drained his water bottle and threw it at his friend, narrowly missing his head. "Man, if that's the way you throw 'em, the Yankees are gonna wipe the field with you on Sunday."

They'd been friends a long time. Jaxon was one of the few people who knew Zach's type stemmed from his past with Rennie, and Zach was pissed off that Jaxon would joke about it. After a decade apart, that he was still comparing women to his ex was pathetic, but he'd accepted his fate years ago. He was one of those poor slobs destined to spend his life pining over the girl who got away. Literally. She'd practically vanished into thin air when she got on that plane. When thousands of dollars and two private detectives couldn't find her, his family and friends finally managed to convince him she didn't want to be found. He had to respect that no matter how much it hurt.

"At least I can get a woman," Zach said, trying to pull himself out of his dark mood. "When was the last time you had a date, Jaxon?" Zach knew he'd hit a nerve when his friend's easy smile slipped.

"Someone has to run this company while the rest of you dead-beats are out chasing skirts."

"All right, guys," Grayson said, holding up his hands. "Can we get back to business?" When all the guys nodded, he continued. "I got a strange call a while ago."

"From who?" Zach asked, reaching for another water bottle from the cart behind him.

"Some lady named Terri. She said she's the assistant to the director of Sky's the Limit Foundation. She was looking for you."

"Did you tell her to call my agent?" Zach was used to charities calling on him for autographed jerseys to raffle at their events. He was always happy to help, but he didn't have time to field the requests himself.

"Yeah, but she was wondering whether you could stop by their office later. I told her I'd see what I could do." Grayson looked uncomfortable as he shifted in the leather swivel chair.

"Why the hell would you--" Zach sighed heavily. He took his baseball cap off and ran a hand over his cropped hair. "You told her I'd be there, didn't you?"

Grayson slid a slip of paper across the table. "There's the address, in case you're interested."

As if he had a choice after his friend had made the commitment on his behalf.

***

Zach walked into the lobby of the non-descript office building a few hours later. Judging by the dated interior and worn carpet, he suspected he wouldn't find an elevator. The wallboard inside the main doors told him Sky's the Limit was on the top floor. Good thing it was only a three-story building. Mumbling about his lousy taste in friends, he took the stairs two at a time, hoping no one would spot him. He didn't feel like fake smiling through another autograph session. He just wanted to hit the gym and work out some of his frustrations. High Rollers was having some big event he was expected to host that night, and while it was the last place he wanted to be, he was obligated to attend.

His life seemed to be a series of one obligation after another, leaving little or no time for the things he wanted to do. Whenever he felt like griping about his schedule, he reminded himself that he'd agreed to that life when he signed his first professional contract. Besides, the multi-million dollar paycheck and being able to play the game he loved made it worth his while. He spotted the black plaque on the door at the end of the hall and turned the knob, hoping he would still have time for a full workout after the meeting. He smiled at the pretty brunette receptionist whose eyes widened when he walked in.

"Oh wow," she whispered. "You're Zach Foster, aren't you?"

He was used to that reaction. Sometimes it still made him smile, but not that day. "That's me. I got a call from a lady named Terri. She asked me to stop by."

"Oh, uh..." The young woman pointed at a closed door down a short hallway. "Her office is right through there. I think she just went to the restroom, but you're welcome to wait for her."

"Thanks," he said. He hesitated at the door, wondering if he should knock. He decided against it since the receptionist said Terri was in the restroom.

"Oh my God." Rennie looked up at him, her features frozen in disbelief. Rennie and the assistant apparently shared a small office, with a desk in each corner. "What are you doing here?"

His heart kicked into overdrive. After ten long years, his body responded as though he'd seen her yesterday. She was still stunning, with long, straight blond hair and her bright blue eyes flashing emotions he couldn't begin to decipher. "I got a call from Terri..."

"Damn it," she muttered, her fingers flying to her temples as though she was trying to ease a persistent ache. "I can't believe she called you without telling me."

"Oh good, you came."

Zach turned to face a tall, exotic creature with short, straight black hair and wide-set brown eyes. She was tall enough to look Zach in the eyes, which few women did. The petite woman sitting behind her desk still stared at him as though he'd wronged her instead of the other way around.

"You must be Terri," he said, offering his hand. He was used to turning on the charm for the camera. Even though seeing Rennie made him feel as though he'd soaked through his designer T-shirt, he refused to let them see him sweat. "My buddy Grayson said you called the High Rollers office looking for me?"

"Yes, I did." She shot Rennie a look. "I was going to tell you, Rennie, but I wasn't sure he would show. I didn't want to get your hopes up."

Rennie. Zach's gut clenched when he realized she still used the nickname he'd given her in high school.

Clearing her throat as though she was trying to pull herself together, Rennie said, "Terri, I can handle the meeting with Mr. Foster. Why don't you run over to the party supplies store and pick up the balloons for tonight?"

"You're not mad, are you?" Terri shot her boss a hopeful look.

Zach could tell by their dynamic that Rennie was the director Grayson had referred to and Terri was her assistant. He wondered why Rennie hadn't called him. She had to know if she needed or wanted anything from him, the answer would always be yes. He may have spent a lot of years lost in hurt, anger, and bitterness, but one look at her reminded him of the girl he'd fallen in love with... the girl he'd desperately wanted to marry.

"We'll talk about it later," Rennie said, obviously unwilling to let her assistant off the hook. "Please close the door behind you when you leave." Rennie waited until her assistant left before she looked at Zach. "Well, this is awkward."

"What the hell, Rennie?" He'd been waiting years to ask her questions. "Why'd you leave me standing there--"

"I don't want to re-hash the past," she said, holding up her hand.

That's when he saw the narrow gold band on her left hand. The air left his lungs in a rush, and he struggled to find words that wouldn't come.

As though she sensed the change in his mood, she dropped her hand to her lap. "I'm sorry Terri called you. I'm sure you're a very busy man."

On unsteady legs, he made his way to the single chair across from her scarred metal desk. He couldn't speak. He just stared at her, trying to reconcile the polished professional in front of him with the sexy, sassy girl who'd loved him whole-heartedly. "Why?" The single word would convey his meaning. She may not want to re-visit the past, but he deserved some answers.

"Why did she call?" she asked, pretending she didn't understand the question. "We got a letter from a little boy who's anxious to meet you. He has a heart defect and"--she pushed the letter across the desk--"well, you can read it for yourself."

Zach scanned the handwritten words. They were shaky, outside of the lines, as though the boy was just learning how to write in cursive. He immediately thought of his nephew. Kevin's little boy, Danny, was four, but he was anxious to learn how to print. He wanted to write stories like the ones his mommy read him before bed every night. God, he loved that kid. He hadn't been a huge fan of children until he held his nephew for the first time. That little man captured Zach's heart, and he'd had him wrapped around his tiny finger ever since. If mommy and daddy said no, Uncle Zach always caved to his demands.

"Set it up," he said. "I'll have my people email you my schedule. Maybe he can come to a game, meet the whole team, get some autographs, pictures, whatever he wants." He looked at her, losing himself in the memory of making love to her. He chastised himself for fantasizing about another man's wife. Rennie was someone else's wife, and that hurt more than the knowledge that he would never be free to touch her again.

"Um, okay," she said, almost as though she was scrambling to think of an excuse to avoid making it happen. "I'll have Terri make the arrangements. Obviously we can't work together on this."

"No, I guess your husband wouldn't like it, would he?" Zach couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice. His hatred for a man he'd never met swelled. His eyes searched her desk for some evidence of the man who'd taken his place. He saw their wedding photo. "I guess when you agreed to marry him, you meant it, huh?"

"Don't," she said, conveying her hostility in a single word. "I said I don't want to talk about the past. You don't have the right to make me feel guilty for falling in love and building a life with someone else."

A fastball to the gut--that's what it felt like when his Rennie talked about loving another man. "Fine, you don't want to talk about the past." He got to his feet and braced his weight on his clenched fists as he leaned over her desk. "You wanna pretend I never meant anything to you, that the years we spent together didn't matter? Fine. But if you want me to pretend I've moved on, I can't."

She'd already stomped on his pride when she left him standing at the altar like a fool, waiting for her. He had no reason to pretend the years since had done anything to repair his bruised ego. Every beautiful woman he dated or slept with was a poor substitute for the one who threw his wedding ring back in his face in the form of a folded slip of paper.

Sliding her chair back, she stared up at him, her eyes wide. "I never meant--"

"What? To hurt me? To ruin my life? Well, you did!" The other people in the small office suite could hear his outburst, but he didn't care. He didn't intend to leave until she knew what she'd done to him.

Her face hardened, and her remorse slipped behind a mask of indifference. "Don't pretend to be the victim in all this. We both know you got exactly what you wanted."

"How do you figure?"

"I left, and you were free to go back to the bachelor life you missed so much. No wife at home waiting on you, no kids demanding your attention." Crossing her arms, she glared at him. "Is it everything you hoped it would be?"

He was shocked she was cruel enough to remind him of the life she'd stolen from him, the life she shared with someone else. "My life is pretty goddamn empty without you." He couldn't believe he was baring his soul to a woman who'd made it clear she was done with him. Almost as though his subconscious was in control, the feelings he'd been trying so hard to suppress rose to the surface.

"Yeah, I can see that." She held up a newspaper photo of him with last night's blonde. "I really feel for you."

"What do you want me to say?" He threw up his hands. "That I've been celibate for the past ten years? I haven't, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about you. I tried to track you down. Where the hell did you go?"

She lifted a shoulder as her gaze landed on the black and white photo of Zach and his date. "I needed to get away for a while, to sort things out."

"How long have you been back?"

"A while."

He had a perverse need to know everything that had happened to her in the years they'd been apart--everything except how she met the man in the photo. His eyes involuntarily slid back to the photo, and that's when he saw the little boy. "Oh my God, you have a kid."

He reached for the frame, wanting to get a closer look to determine if the little boy looked like his mother or the man he considered his mortal enemy. Before he could grasp the frame, she shoved it into her desk drawer. "I already told you I don't want to take a trip down memory lane with you."

"How old is he?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. The boy looked at least eight, which meant she hadn't waited long to move on.

She licked her lips, and her eyes shifted from her watch to the door. "He's... uh... turning nine."

"Nine? So you meant him the year after you left me?" When she didn't respond, he said, "God damn it, Rennie, you owe me something!"

"Fine, yes, okay. I met Nathan the year after I moved away. Are you satisfied?"

Satisfied? Was she out of her mind? He couldn't remember a time when he'd been more irritated.

"I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have a meeting in a few minutes. I'll have Terri contact your representative. If you can just give me a card with their contact information, or yours, I'll pass it on to Terri."

"I'm working with you." He didn't care if her husband liked it or not. Causing her new man as much discomfort as possible was suddenly his new mission in life.

"I don't think so."

"Really?" He scanned the letter on her desk. "Then you can be the one to tell Jake it ain't gonna happen." He was bluffing. He would never deny a sick child's wish just to spite his ex, but she didn't have to know that.

"You would do that?" she asked, her distaste for him seeping into her controlled tone. "Of course you would. I don't know why I'm surprised."

Taking a card out of his wallet, he slid the card across the desk. "So you can call me tomorrow. If you wanna make this happen, you can take me out for lunch so we can discuss the details."

"But, but..." she sputtered, her face flaming. "You said to call your office, that your people would email your schedule and--"

"I know." Lifting a shoulder, he smirked. She used to hate it when he did that. "I changed my mind. You must work with enough celebrity types to know how we are." He hated fame and everything that went with it. She knew that--or at least she used to know that. Back when they knew each other better than anyone else. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"So that's the way it's going to be," she said, crumpling his business card.

"That's the way it's going to be." He crossed the small room in two strides. "I'll expect to hear from you tomorrow. Don't wait too long to clear your schedule. Like you said, I'm a very busy man."

# Chapter Two

Rennie was still fuming half an hour later when Terri returned. "I brought you a peace offering," Terri said hesitantly, holding a take-out cup from Rennie's favorite café.

"How could you do that?" Rennie slapped her desk. "I hadn't even approved the application."

"But I knew you would have if you'd heard Jake's voice," Terri said, setting the cup down when Rennie failed to accept it.

"How did you hear his voice?" As if she didn't know. Terri had obviously been busy contacting the applicant and his family while she'd been tied up in meetings all morning.

"I... uh... called his house. I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead with the preliminary interview, just in case you decided to move forward with it." When Rennie dropped her face into her hands, Terri said, "I didn't make any promises. I just told them we would see what we could do."

Rennie reached for the coffee. She deserved a reward for putting up with all the strong-willed people in her life. "I can't believe you did that. What were you thinking?"

"I was just trying to help," Terri said, her normally harsh voice softening. "I'm sorry."

Rennie allowed guilt to seep in. Terri was the best assistant she'd ever had, and she couldn't afford to lose her just because she was a wreck after seeing her ex. She couldn't believe it. Zach not only knew she was back in town, but he knew she had a son. What a nightmare. "It's okay. We'll figure something out."

"You mean Zach Foster didn't agree to meet Jake?"

Rennie took a sip of her coffee as she scrambled to come up with an excuse. "He will, but he expects me to make all the arrangements."

"I don't see the problem," Terri said, frowning. "You usually do that when high profile people are involved."

"This case is different." Rennie was trying to decide whether she should confide in Terri about her history with Zach when her door burst open and her son came barrelling in.

"I'm sorry, Rennie," her friend Karina said. Karina was a dental hygienist who worked three days a week, so they shared carpool duties. "I told him to knock first."

"It's okay." Rennie laughed as her son threw his arms around her neck. "Thanks for bringing him by. I'll pick the kids up tomorrow. If that works for you?"

"That would be great. Thanks." Karina waved as she closed the door behind her.

"Hey," Terri said, crooking a finger at Tyler. "I have a secret to tell you."

Rennie watched her son move in close enough to hear Terri whisper. His big dark eyes widened and his mouth fell open, revealing two spaces where baby teeth had been.

"Mom, did you really meet Zach Foster today?"

Oh no. With a dozen butterflies flitting around in her stomach, Rennie forced a smile. "Sure did, buddy. How cool is that?" She definitely should have told Terri about her history with Zach. Tyler would be relentless about asking when he could meet one of his baseball idols.

"He was here, in this office, standing right about where you are," Terri said, adding fuel to the fire as she looked at Tyler's neon green and black Skechers.

"No way," he whispered, staring at his mother. "Mom, why didn't you keep him here so I could meet him?"

"What would you have me do, Tyler, handcuff him to my desk?" A wave of heat moved up her neck when she remembered the time they had experimented with handcuffs. Zach had just bought his first condo and they were enjoying the luxury of privacy...

"Hello?" Terri snapped her fingers in front of Rennie's face. "Are you still with us?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something else." Something she had no business thinking about in the presence of her child--correction, their child. "How was school today?" Rennie hoped there hadn't been any more incidents. Tyler was a good boy, but he'd been acting out lately, trying to get attention in class and instigating trouble on the playground. Their therapist thought it may be the result of residual feelings about losing his father. How would Tyler feel if he found out he not only had a father his mother had never told him about, but his father was none other than baseball superstar Zach Foster?

"It was okay," Tyler said, wrinkling his nose. "The best part was gym."

"Of course it was." Rennie rolled her eyes. Tyler was definitely Zach's son in that respect. He had been born wanting to throw a baseball, not to mention all of the other sports he played when time allowed.

"Hey, I made sugar-free cookies last night," Terri said. "You want one?"

"Can I, Mommy?" Tyler asked. She was Mommy when he wanted something, Mom when he was trying to act cool in front of his friends or teammates.

Checking her watch, Rennie said, "Just one. You have baseball practice in an hour, and I'm making your favorite for dinner--beef fajitas with whole grain wraps." She conned him into eating protein by telling him it would help to build the muscles he'd need to become a professional athlete.

"Can I chop the veggies?" he asked.

He liked to play with the new slice and dicer she'd bought to cut down on meal time preparation. She was usually in a hurry to get a decent meal on the table after baseball practice. He'd been trying so hard to help out around the house since Nathan died. It broke her heart to see her baby feel he had to take on the role of her protector when his only thoughts should be of school, sports, and spending time with his friends. "Only if I'm there to supervise. You know the rule."

"Yeah, I know the rule." He smiled when Terri offered him a cookie in a paper napkin. "Thanks."

Rolling his eyes at his mother he said, "I don't know why you won't let me do more stuff on my own." He took a bite of the cookie. "I'm not a baby, ya know."

Terri and Rennie shared an amused glance. Terri had a nine-year-old daughter, so she knew the challenges of trying to survive life as a single parent.

"I thought you said you'd always be my baby." Rennie stood as she collected a stack of applications to review that night. She slid them into her leather briefcase.

"So, when am I gonna meet Zach Foster?" Tyler asked, making her heart stutter.

"Mr. Foster is a very busy man. I can't make any promises. Come on, let's go. We still have to swing by the house so you can change."

"Have a good night," Terri said as Rennie ushered her son out the door.

A good night? Like that was possible. Even a good night's sleep would be too much to hope for.

***

As soon as she'd found a spot on the bench, Rennie dialed her sister's number. Jackie would understand her predicament. She was one of only two people who knew for certain that Tyler was Zach's son. Rennie had kept the truth from her parents because they were close friends with the Fosters, and she didn't want to put them in the uncomfortable position of having to lie to them about their own grandchild. She'd humiliated herself instead, claiming she had a brief affair with a man she barely knew when she left town. Her rebound guy, she'd called him. Her parents didn't question her about it after she claimed the child's father didn't want to be a part of his life. At least that much was true.

Jackie's husband, Mason, answered the phone. "Hey there, what's new with my beautiful sister-in-law?"

Gotta love caller ID, Rennie thought wryly. Her brother-in-law was one of the good guys. He treated his wife like a princess and was an attentive father to their two-year-old, Alyson. He was the only other person who knew that Zach was Tyler's father. Jackie told her sister that she couldn't keep secrets from her husband, and Rennie agreed. The last thing she wanted was to cause tension in her sister's marriage. Rennie reminded her kid sister all the time that men like Mason were few and far between. She knew how easy it was to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and forget to tell her partner how much she loved and appreciated him. Then one day, she'd wake up and realize it was too late.

Trying to shake off her melancholy mood, Rennie said, "Same old, same old. How about you? How've you been?"

"I can't complain. When're you coming over for dinner? I miss beating you at ping pong."

Rennie laughed. Whenever she went to their house for dinner, she, Mason, and her dad made a beeline for the games room. They would waste the night away playing pool, ping pong, and vintage arcade games. Her mother swore they were worse than the kids, but Rennie loved every minute of it. Spending quality time with Mason and her father reminded her good men were still out there. Maybe one day, when the time was right, another one would walk into her life. "Save the trash talk for another day. I need to talk to my sister. Is she around?"

"Yeah, she's out in the backyard planting some flowers. Hang on, I'll get her for you."

She heard Mason call his wife sweetheart. It reminded Rennie how much she missed the little intimacies of married life.

"Hey, sis," Jackie said, sounding winded. "This is a nice surprise. I didn't expect to hear from you tonight. Doesn't Tyler have a game?"

"Yeah, I'm here now," she said, smiling and waving to parents claiming the bench two rows in front of her. She lowered her voice. "You're never going to believe who walked into my office today."

"Who?"

"Zach." Rennie waited for a reaction. Her sister would be as stunned as she had been that afternoon.

"How the hell did he know where to find you?"

Rennie was still using her married name, Alexander. Even if he'd Googled her, it wouldn't have been easy to find her. "Call it dumb luck." Rennie watched her son take the pitcher's mound. The intensity in Tyler's dark eyes reminded her so much of Zach. She always felt a pang of guilt and uncertainty when she saw him in his baseball uniform, following in his daddy's footsteps. "One of the kids who submitted an application wanted to meet him, so Terri called Zach to try to arrange it."

"So he just showed up at your office?"

"Yup." She still couldn't believe it herself. "But that's not the worst of it. He saw Tyler's picture and started asking questions."

"Oh no."

Those were her sentiments exactly. The sisters had had numerous conversations about how Zach might react if he found out she'd kept his son from him. Rennie told herself that she'd been justified. She didn't want her son growing up with a father who wished he'd never been born. Jackie always told her that people change. Maybe Zach felt differently now. Maybe he'd be mad as hell she hadn't given him the opportunity to participate in his son's life, and he'd use all of his resources to fight her for custody, or try to poison their child's mind against her. The Zach Rennie had known wouldn't have done anything so sinister, but after the phone call she'd overheard the night before their wedding, she questioned whether she ever really knew him at all.

"What are you going to do?" Jackie asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"He still thinks I'm married." She knew she should have told him she was a widow, but she still found it difficult to admit that Nathan wasn't coming home.

"Why would he think that?" Jackie asked, sounding confused.

"He saw my ring and our wedding picture." She couldn't block out how gutted Zach had looked when he realized she was married. What did he expect? That she would put her life on hold and wait for him to grow up and decide he wanted the family he never intended to give her?

"How did he react?"

"He seemed surprised." Stunned would have been a more accurate description, but her sister didn't need to know every detail.

"Poor guy."

"Excuse me?" Rennie lowered her voice when a couple of grandparents a few feet away glanced in her direction. "Don't make him out to be the victim in all of this. He made it clear he didn't want the baby I was carrying."

"I know." Jackie sighed. "But don't you think he would have felt differently when he found out you were actually pregnant? I mean, guys may say they're not ready for a baby, but when the time comes, they usually feel differently."

"Not a risk I was willing to take." Rennie hadn't softened her stance on that. She wouldn't risk her son's future on a man too immature and selfish to realize that winning the World Series would have paled in comparison to having a son like Tyler.

"I hear ya. What's done is done. The question is, what are you going to do now?"

"He wants me to arrange his visit with the boy." Rennie was normally meticulous about ensuring visits went off without a hitch, but just once, she'd give anything to delegate her responsibilities.

"Oh man, are you going to?"

"I don't have a choice." A sick boy was counting on her. When she took the job, she'd promised herself she would do everything in her power to make every child's wish come true. She couldn't allow her own fear to rob Jake of his one chance to meet his hero. Hero. The kid sure has lousy taste in heroes.

"So when are you going to see him again?"

"Lunch tomorrow. He wants me to call him to make the arrangements."

"You have to let me know what happens."

Rennie frowned at the excitement in her sister's voice. She was dreading the meeting, and Jackie was acting as though the captain of the football team had just invited her to the prom. "Nothing is going to happen. We'll have a quick lunch, in a very public place, make the arrangements for Jake's visit, and that's it."

"But you'll have to be there for the visit, won't you? You know, on behalf of the foundation."

"I suppose so." Unless she could pretend to have the flu that day...

"Does Tyler know you met Zach?" Jackie asked, the amusement still evident in her voice.

"Yeah, Terri told him. Talk about making a bad situation worse." She couldn't blame Terri for spilling the beans. Her assistant knew nothing about her relationship with the All-Star pitcher. "Now Tyler is bugging me about meeting Zach. Any idea how I handle that?"

Jackie laughed. "You better not introduce them. Zach would take one look at my nephew and know that was his kid."

"Don't say that." Fear rose up to choke off Rennie's air supply. "I told him Tyler was eight. He assumed I met Nathan shortly after I left town."

"Oh what a tangled web we weave," Jackie said in a sing-song voice.

"Would you stop? This is serious." Rennie felt terrible lying to her parents and Zach, but she didn't feel she had a choice. She didn't want her son to feel the sting of rejection anymore than she wanted Zach to feel some sense of obligation to her or their son. They'd been doing just fine without him and would continue to survive on their own. He could give Tyler anything money could buy and seasons tickets to watch his favorite baseball team in action, but he could never love Tyler more than Rennie did.

"I know it is, hon. I'm sorry." Jackie sighed. "I know how much you hate lying, not to mention the fact you're a terrible liar."

"If that were true, Mama and Daddy would've caught on by now."

Jackie snorted as though she was trying to suppress her laughter. "Oh please, you don't think they know? Need I remind you that our mama and Mrs. Foster have been friends since they were in high school?"

"So?" Rennie's eyes were fixed on the field as her son tried to throw his third strike. She'd always believed her parents bought her story about the rebound guy. If they knew the truth...

"So Mama saw Zach when he was Tyler's age. They must have looked exactly alike." Jackie's voice softened. "I'm sorry, sis, but every time I look at your little boy, he reminds me of Zach."

"Don't say that," she whispered, slipping her sunglasses in place to hide her tears.

"It's true, and you know it."

"Then why haven't they said anything to the Fosters about Tyler?"

"Because you're their baby just like Tyler's your baby. They would do anything to protect you just like you'd do anything to protect your son."

Rennie hated to think she'd put her parents in the impossible position of hiding the truth from their close friends. She thought about the people she used to consider her second parents. Zach's parents were wonderful people, and she knew they would adore her son, but she could never give them the opportunity to meet. Like Jackie said, they would take one look at him and know the truth. "God, Jack, this is such a mess. Maybe coming back home was a mistake. Maybe I should think about moving--"

"Don't even say it," Jackie cut in, using the voice she reserved for one of Alyson's temper tantrums. "You belong right here with your family. Besides, isn't your therapist always telling you that Tyler needs stability in his life right now? He has that: a school and friends he loves, sports--"

"Okay, fine. I won't mention it again." Rennie was smart enough to know she'd lost the battle. "I gotta go. I have to call Zach before the game ends."

Jackie giggled. "I have to admit, I never thought I'd hear you say that again. 'I have to call Zach.'"

"Would you stop?" Rennie rolled her eyes. "You sound like a tweenie, for crying out loud."

"You can't deny he's still hotter than hell, sis."

No, she couldn't deny that, but she damn sure wouldn't admit it. "I'll call you tomorrow, let you know how the lunch thing goes." If she didn't, her sister would be on her doorstop demanding a play-by-play.

"You better. Give my nephew a kiss for me."

"Will do." Rennie gave her son a thumbs up as he walked back to the pitcher's mound. "Give my gorgeous niece a kiss for me too, okay?"

"Ren?"

"Yeah?"

"Just keep an open mind where Zach is concerned, okay? It could be he's changed. Maybe he's not the same self-absorbed jerk who made you want to call off your wedding."

She couldn't allow herself to imagine he might have changed. She'd given him her heart once and he broke it. No way would she make that mistake again. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

# Chapter Three

Zach swore softly as he listened to Rennie's voice mail message. He'd missed her call about setting up lunch tomorrow because he'd been too busy schmoozing with people he could barely tolerate. Next time Jaxon insisted he attend one of those events, Zach was going to bill him.

At least I have her number. He smiled as he stepped outside to call her, away from the noise in the packed sports bar. He half-expected her voice mail to kick in after the third ring, but he heard her voice instead.

"No, Tyler, don't push the button. Damn it," she whispered.

"You're not supposed to swear, Mom."

Zach's gut clenched when he heard the boy's voice. Her son. His Rennie had a son with another man. It was still difficult for him to wrap his mind around that. "Hello."

"Hi, Zach," Rennie said, sounding defeated. "Sorry about that."

"Zach!" the little voice squealed. "Zach Foster! Mom, is that really Zach Foster?"

"Tyler, sit back right now!"

"Um, hi, buddy," Zach said, unsure how he should respond to the boy's enthusiastic greeting. The little guy was the evidence of Rennie's love for another man, but he couldn't hold that against him. He was just a kid, after all, an innocent kid with no control over who his parents were. He should have been mine. Zach was shocked when that thought came out of nowhere.

"Oh wow, I can't believe it's really you!" he shouted. "I can't believe I'm really talking to Zach Foster! Wait 'til I tell my friends."

Zach smiled, unable to control his instant affection for the kid. Even over the phone, he could tell he would like Rennie's son. "I take it you're a baseball fan?"

"More than a fan!" he said, still shouting as though he couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "I play. I just came from my game. We won 3-1."

"Really?" Zach chuckled. The kid sounded mature for an eight-year-old. He would have guessed him to be at least ten. "What position do you play?"

"I'm a pitcher, just like you!"

Zach leaned into the brick wall behind him. He must have done something really terrible in a past life to deserve this. Rennie's son was a pitcher... just like him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "That's great, buddy. I'd love to come and see you play sometime." He knew he would be a fool to do that. He would have to watch Rennie and her husband play the proud parents to their great kid.

"Oh wow, would you really come to one of my games?"

"I'd love to." He hadn't been to a kid's baseball game in years. His nephew would join his first team next year, and Zach couldn't wait to see the look on Danny's face the first time his bat struck the ball.

"Tyler, stop," Rennie said, sounding desperate. "You're being rude. Mr. Foster has a lot of important obligations. He doesn't have time to--"

"We're playing on Thursday. You don't have a game that day, right? Could you come? Could you, huh?" Tyler asked, ignoring his mother.

"Um..." Zach didn't want to upset Rennie, but he didn't want to disappoint the kid either. "How about I talk to your mama about that at lunch tomorrow?"

"Okay."

"Lunch, yes," Rennie said, obviously looking for a way to end the call. "Where do you want to meet?"

"How about High Rollers at one?"

"I...uh..."

She sounded as though she wanted to object, so Zach said, "If you have somewhere else in mind...?"

"No, that'll be fine. I'll see you then."

***

Rennie could barely put one foot in front of the other as she walked into High Rollers. She knew Zach was one of the six men who owned the chain, but she'd never expected to actually set foot in one. To meet Zach himself, no less. Supressing a groan when she spotted Zach's old friend from high school, Jaxon Davis, Rennie wondered if it was too late to slowly back out the door without him seeing her. The slow grin spreading across his handsome face when he looked up from his conversation with a man at the bar told her she was too late. He excused himself from his companion and made his way toward her.

Breathe, she told herself. Just breathe. He's not going to ask you any embarrassing questions about the past, like why you were a no-show at your own wedding. Who was she kidding? Jaxon thrived on controversy. That was likely to be the first question out of his mouth.

"I don't believe it." He grasped her hands as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Rennie Baldwin."

"Actually, it's Alexander now." She forced a smile that made her feel as if her lips were frozen in place.

"You got married?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow as he stepped back to give her a quick once-over. "I can't say I'm surprised. So who's the lucky guy?"

It was a reasonable question, but she couldn't continue to evade the truth about Nathan's death every time someone asked about her husband. "He... uh..."

"There she is," came a deep voice from behind her.

When his warm hand fell on her back, sending thrill bumps chasing each other down her arms, she felt like stomping her spiked heel on his foot. Zach had no right to make her feel that way after so many years. Their physical chemistry should have died with her love for him, yet it was obviously alive and well. She wanted to blame her lack of sexual activity since Nathan's death for her reaction, but that was a cop-out. She'd met lots of attractive men since her husband's death, and none had elicited that kind of response.

"I thought you were going to stand me up again," Zach whispered in her ear, acting as though they were sharing an intimate secret.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you two had hooked up again?" Jaxon asked his friend.

"We're not hooking up." Zach glared at his business partner. "We're here for a business meeting."

"Poor choice of words," Jaxon said, chuckling as he revealed the set of deep dimples that made cheerleaders fight over who deserved to be his prom date. "I know you're not 'hooking up.' Rennie just told me she's married now."

Rennie felt the tension emanating from Zach. "Um, I'd love to catch up, Jaxon, but I have to get back to the office soon. We're scrambling to try to find a venue for an event next Thursday night."

"Scrambling?" He crossed his arms over his chest, displaying his powerful physique. "Why are you scrambling?"

"Well," she said, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder, "the venue we booked had a kitchen fire last week. They're going to be closed for at least a couple of months for repairs."

"What kind of event are you hosting?" Jaxon asked, his brown eyes narrowing with interest.

"I'm the director of Sky's the Limit. It's a charitable foundation for sick kids." She was used to giving her pitch about their organization, but not with Zach standing so close, listening so intently. "We attempt to make their one wish come true. Even if we can't restore their health, we can at least give them one day of happiness."

"It sounds like a worthwhile cause," Jaxon said, casting a glance at Zach. "Are you involved with this?"

"Oh no," Rennie said quickly. The last thing she wanted was for her association with Zach to last beyond the single day they were planning with Jake. "One of our applicants asked to meet Zach. We're just meeting today to try to set up a time."

"Hmmm"--Jaxon stroked his chin--"interesting."

"Okay, Davis," Zach said, hitting his shoulder, "I can see the wheels turning. What are you thinking?"

"Hold that thought." Jaxon turned toward the man in the dark suit at the bar. Crooking a finger at his associate, Jaxon returned his attention to Zach and Rennie. "Let's see what Matt has to say about this before we commit to anything."

Rennie was getting nervous. She knew Jaxon well enough to know that when he'd made up his mind, no one could change it. The question was what had he decided, and how did it affect her?

"Hey, man," Matt said, offering Zach his hand. "I wasn't expecting you to drop by today. Thought you'd still be recovering from last night."

Rennie told herself she had no interest in what Zach did last night, or with whom, but she couldn't help stealing a glance at him when he tipped his head back and groaned.

"You ever do anything like that to me again, and I'm gonna kick your--"

"Hey," Matt said, holding up his hand to halt his friend's threat. "Not in the presence of a beautiful lady." He offered his hand to Rennie. "Matt Hudson. I'm the marketing director for High Rollers."

"It's nice to meet you," Rennie said, taken in by his genuine smile and understated good looks. "Rennie Alexander."

"How do you know this guy?" he asked, shifting his eyes toward Zach. "Please don't tell me you're dating. I'll be heartbroken."

"Save it, Hudson." Jaxon elbowed his friend in the ribs. "The lady's married."

"Damn," Matt muttered, seeming genuinely displeased. "The good ones are always taken. Why is that?"

Rennie laughed, at ease for the first time since she walked through the door. "I'm not sure, but I'm pretty confident there's one more good woman out there just waiting on you to find her."

"I like this one," Matt said in a stage whisper to Zach. "Is she happily married?"

"You know what," Zach said, obviously not in the mood for Matt's sarcasm, "I don't have time for this. Whatever you have to say, spit it out so we can get on with our lunch, Jaxon."

"Touchy," Matt said, raising an eyebrow at Rennie. "He always gets like this before his afternoon nap."

Trying to keep a straight face so Zach wouldn't erupt again, Rennie winked at Matt before returning her attention to Jaxon.

"Rennie is the director for Sky's the Limit," Jaxon said to Matt.

Matt snapped his fingers. "Was it your assistant who called looking for Zach the other day?"

"Yes, it was." If Rennie could turn back time, she would gladly rewind to erase that mishap.

"Anyway," Jaxon said, nudging Matt, "Rennie was just telling us that she doesn't have a venue for her event this Thursday"

"What kind of event?" Matt asked.

"It's a fundraiser for a little boy, Sheldon. He's autistic, and his family wants to get a specially trained dog to help him. We granted his wish a few years ago, and according to the rules, we can only grant one wish per child."

"But you still want to help him?" Matt asked, giving her a soft smile. "Sounds like you're going above and beyond the call of duty, Rennie."

Lifting a shoulder, she said, "It's nothing we haven't done before. Our organization can't pay for medical expenses or equipment, but we have a lot of experience planning fundraisers. The family is usually so overwhelmed caring for their child they don't have the time or energy to plan something like this, even if they had the resources to pull it together."

"How will the dog help him?" Zach asked.

Rennie looked up at him and immediately wished she hadn't. She got a flashback of what it felt like when he pulled her into the empty locker room for a quick kiss to "tide him over" until school let out. "He... uh..." She tore her eyes away from his sensuous mouth and forced her mind to focus on his question. "Has no concept of personal safety. As soon as his parents' backs are turned, he makes a run for the front door."

"Really?" Zach's brows knit together. "That must be stressful for the parents."

"You have no idea. They've tried different locks, but nothing works."

"How much do they need for the dog?" Zach asked.

"Fifteen thousand dollars." All of the men were listening intently. She could tell they weren't nearly as self-absorbed as some of the successful entrepreneurs she'd met. They would be happy to donate to her cause, but not before she'd established how it could help them.

"Consider it done," Zach said.

"What?" Rennie's heart hammered. Surely he hadn't said what she thought he'd said. The Zach she knew back in high school and college would have given the shirt off his back to a stranger in need, but she thought that becoming a professional athlete had changed him.

"Just tell me who to make the check payable to. I'll drop it by your office later today."

"But you can't..." Rennie struggled to think of a plausible reason why he couldn't do that. The only reason she could think of was that it would change her view of him. Of course, maybe that was his angle. He was trying to score points with her by throwing his money around. Well, it wouldn't work. "Sheldon's parents are very proud people. When I suggested a fundraiser, they shied away from the idea, but they're desperate. They're tapped out financially; they live on a busy street and can't afford to move." She struggled with how much she should tell them. "It's gotten so bad they're sleeping in shifts because he's started sneaking out of his bed at night and heading straight for the front door."

Jaxon covered his mouth with his hand. "I can't imagine what that must be like for them."

"It's brutal," Rennie agreed. Her heart went out to them. Sheldon was their only child, the light of their life--much like Tyler was the center of her world. "I really want to help them."

"But you won't accept my money?" Zach asked, a muscle in his jaw flexing. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I told you, they're very proud people," Rennie said softly, touching his arm before she realized what she was doing.

His eyes fell to her hand. He looked up, drawing her in with the dark gaze that used to be able to hold her captive for hours... in bed. "Fine, if you won't let me give them the money, at least let us host the event. I'll donate whatever you need as far as tickets or signed jerseys. I'll get my teammates to come together and help out too."

Rennie was overwhelmed with gratitude, which she knew was dangerous. She didn't want to be indebted to him, but she couldn't afford to reject his offer. Sheldon's family needed help, and no matter the reason, Zach seemed more than willing to provide it.

"Not that anyone asked my opinion," Matt cut in, glaring at Zach, "but I think it's a great idea. We'll have an auction and notify the press. It'll be good for business, not to mention fun. You can't beat that."

"No, you can't," Zach said, smiling at Rennie.

She really tried to resist the urge to smile back, but her twitching lips had other ideas.

***

Zach knew he was venturing into a fool's territory with Rennie. She was like a drug. The more time he spent with her, the longer he wanted to prolong the experience. The initial tension and awkwardness faded away when he convinced her to join him for a cocktail, and the rest of their lunch had felt natural. Like two old friends reconnecting after a long period of separation. Billy Joel's "Italian Restaurant" played over the drone of the lunch crowd, making him smile.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked, bringing her wine glass to her lips.

"I was thinking about how much you used to love Billy Joel." He smiled. "Did you ever see him in concert?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," she said, her eyes bright with excitement. "Nathan surprised me with tickets to see him and Elton John a few years ago for my birthday. It was amazing."

Her husband's name hit him like a fist between the eyes. He'd allowed himself to pretend it was just the two of them again. The reminder that it would never be that way again caught him off guard. "Yeah, I saw them too. They were great."

"I seem to recall you were more of an Aerosmith guy. Bob Segar, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, that was my kind of music. What made you go see them?"

"You." He stared at her, their past scrolling in front of his eyes: their first kiss, the first time they made love, the night he proposed, the wedding that never was... "His music makes me think of you. I was going through a rough time. I guess I wanted to feel closer to you." He shrugged.

Rennie stared at him, obviously at a loss for words. She looked at her watch. "Oh wow, it's getting late. I really should go. So you think the home game on the 14th of next month will work for Jake's visit?"

They'd talked about it earlier, when he was still pretending Jake's visit was the only reason he'd asked her to lunch. It wasn't. He couldn't stand the thought of her being so close, yet still out of his reach. But he wouldn't try to wreak havoc in her marriage, no matter how much he still loved her. "I think so. Just let me talk to the powers that be, and I'll get back to you."

"Sounds good." She got to her feet. Reaching for her purse, she hesitated to smile at him. "Thanks for lunch, Zach. It was nice."

"Yeah, it was." Nice didn't begin to describe it, but he would only make her uncomfortable if he tried to make more of it. "I'd really like to come to your son's game. It seemed like it would mean a lot to him, and I'd hate to disappoint him."

"You can't," she said quickly, the color draining from her face.

"Why not?" Realization dawned when she failed to respond. "I don't want your husband to think I'm trying to--"

"It's not that," she said, looking panicked. "You just can't come. I'm sorry. I really have to go."

# Chapter Four

Rennie sat at her desk several hours later, staring at her son's photo and wondering how her orderly life had spun out of control in a matter of days. Zach was working his way into her life slowly but surely. He would be at Sheldon's fundraiser next Thursday, and he'd agreed to meet Jake next month. She could handle all that. It was his desire to meet her son, their son, she couldn't handle.

"Hey," Terri said, looking up from her computer. "I forgot to ask how your lunch with Zach Foster went."

"It was fine." When Rennie realized her voice matched her melancholy mood, she tried to infuse a little more enthusiasm into her words. "It was good. Great, in fact. He and his partners offered to let us have Sheldon's fundraiser at High Rollers."

"Shut up!" Terri's mouth hung open, and for once, she seemed speechless. The silence only lasted half a second. "That's amazing, but why?"

Rennie knew the time had come to tell Terri the truth. She was her friend, and she may be the only person who could act as a buffer between Rennie and Zach. "I, uh, knew him a long time ago."

"You did not!"

Rennie couldn't help but smile at her friend's reaction. "I did. We went to high school together." She would have to break the whole truth to Terri gently, since she didn't have a paper bag to hand over when she started hyperventilating.

"So why didn't you tell me you knew him when I showed you Jake's letter?" Terri slipped her pen between her teeth as she narrowed her eyes at her boss. "What are you hiding, lady?"

"It's complicated." That didn't even begin to describe it. She should have told Terri the story over cocktails. Maybe then she would have been able to get the words out without a knot in her stomach.

"I've got time." Terri settled deeper into her swivel chair. "I skipped lunch today, so technically I have an hour coming to me."

Rennie knew the whole sordid story would only take a few minutes, but it was so hard to find the words. She'd convinced herself that Zach was a selfish, immature jerk, and that was the only way she could justify keeping him from his son. But he'd shown himself to be anything but since he'd walked back into her life. Guilt over her decisions was eating away at her.

"You can't back out on me now," Terri said, leaning forward. "So don't even think about it."

"We dated in high school and college."

"On again, off again?"

"No, we didn't break up until I left town." Rennie thought back to that day. She'd flown to Orlando to visit her grandmother, who was in a nursing home and suffering from dementia. After that, Rennie moved to Tampa. She'd never felt more alone than she did in the months after she left home. She couldn't turn to her family or the father of her baby for help. She'd worked every odd job she could find and saved as much money as possible to support her baby. She got a job as a volunteer coordinator soon after Tyler was born. It gave her the freedom to set her own hours while bonding with her baby. Then the man next door stole her heart and restored her faith in relationships.

She and Nathan had been friends for a long time before she was ready for a romantic relationship, but he saw her through some tough times. He dried her tears and indulged her pregnancy cravings. He walked the floors with Tyler when he wouldn't sleep. During one of those midnight walks, she realized she'd fallen in love with him. Instead of the kind of all-consuming passion she'd had with her first love, her love for Nathan was gentler, not nearly as combustible. It made her feel safe, as though she could count on him to always be there for her.

"Was he already playing professional baseball when you left?" Terri leaned over to offer Rennie a stick of red licorice.

"Yeah, he was."

"Is that why you dumped him?" Terri bit into her favorite candy. "Did he cheat on you with some obsessed fan who threw herself at him after a game one night?"

Rennie smiled. Terri was a drama queen, but she never failed to make Rennie laugh. "No, nothing like that."

"Okay, so what was it?" she asked, biting through her licorice like a dog with a rawhide stick.

"I found out I was pregnant," Rennie whispered, unable to look her friend in the eye. Jackie was the only other person she'd uttered those words to, and Rennie had believed she would be the last. The past was coming back to haunt her, and she didn't know how to escape it.

"Wait a second," Terri said, pulling her swivel chair closer to Rennie's desk. "Are you saying Tyler wasn't Nathan's son?"

"He was in every way that mattered." Tyler called Nathan Daddy, and her husband had loved her son as though he were his own. They'd even talked about giving him a little brother or sister... She shuddered, trying to block that conversation out of her mind. Terri stared at Rennie, obviously waiting for her to explain. Rennie had never lied to her about Tyler's father. Terri had just assumed that Nathan was his biological father, and Rennie didn't correct her assumption. A lie by omission was still a lie, but it was her business and her secret to protect.

"Oh my God." Terri's gaze fell on Tyler's picture. "Now that you mention it, I see the resemblance. I don't know why I didn't see it when Zach was here the other day."

"You weren't looking for it." Rennie glanced at her cell phone when it buzzed. Karina's last appointment cancelled, so she would be able to pick up the kids. Rennie texted her "Thanks" before returning her attention to her friend.

"I take it Zach doesn't know?" Terri asked gently.

"No, he doesn't." Rennie tried to ignore the judgment in her friend's eyes, but it wasn't easy when the same thoughts were going through her head. Should she have given Zach a chance to defend himself? Should she have told him she was pregnant before she left town? Should she have called him when Tyler was born? Would her son hate her if he ever learned that she'd purposefully kept him from his biological father?

"What did he do that was so terrible, Ren?" Terri asked, touching her arm. "Was he abusive? Did he--"

"I just found out he wasn't who I thought he was." Rennie had thought she was brave enough to tell the whole story, but she wasn't sure anymore.

"How did you find that out?"

"The night before our wedding--"

"Hold on a minute." Terri pulled on her earlobe. "I don't think I heard you right. Did you just say the night before your wedding? You were going to marry him?"

"Yes." For a brief moment, Rennie allowed herself to think about the fairy-tale wedding they'd planned for four hundred of their friends and family. Zach already had a contract with the Mariners. They were going to move to Seattle after the honeymoon of her dreams in Maui.

"Okay, so what happened to change your mind?"

Rennie took a deep breath, mainly because she needed to collect herself before recalling how she'd felt when she heard the man she loved tell his brother that he didn't want the baby she was carrying. "He pocket dialed me. I overheard a conversation he was having with his brother."

"What did he say?" Terri asked, her normally robust voice a whisper.

"He said he wasn't stupid enough to let me get pregnant."

"Ouch." Terri winced. "Had you guys"--she blushed--"you know, always used protection?"

Rennie nodded, thinking how adamant Zach had been about protection, even in the months leading up to the wedding when she teased him that it wouldn't matter if she got pregnant because she wouldn't show on their wedding day. "I guess it's true what they say--condoms aren't a hundred percent."

Terri shifted, looking uncomfortable. "Did he say he wanted a family, you know, before y'all got engaged?"

"Yes." Knowing he had lied to her still hurt more than anything else. If he'd told her the truth--that he wanted to wait until his baseball career ended to start a family--she couldn't say for certain that she would have agreed to marry him. At least they could have parted as friends who understood they just wanted different things out of life. "I told him I wanted to get pregnant right away because I wanted a big family."

"And he didn't tell you he felt differently?" Terri's voice took on that edge that Rennie recognized as outrage.

"No, he didn't." Rennie twisted her wedding ring. "He played along like he wanted all the same things I did. I think that's why it came as such a shock."

"So what happened after you overheard the conversation? Did you let him have it?"

Rennie blushed as she thought about how she'd handled the situation. Revenge had sounded like the best option at the time, but in hindsight, she couldn't say that it was mature. "I just didn't show up at the church the next day."

Terri clapped a hand over her mouth when she burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but that is awesome. It sounds like he got exactly what he deserved."

Rennie would have agreed with that statement a few days ago. Now she wasn't so sure.

***

"I don't see why we couldn't have invited Zach to my birthday party." Tyler kicked the back of the passenger's seat with the toes of his new running shoes. "That would've been so cool."

Rennie took a deep breath to control her rising temper. She'd asked him numerous times to stop kicking the seat. "I've told you ten times. Zach has a game today."

"Yeah, but it's a home game. Maybe he could have come before or after, if you'd just asked him."

Tyler had been relentless ever since he'd spoken to Zach. He'd told all of his friends that he'd actually had a conversation with the Zach Foster. Of course, none of them believed him, so parents and kids alike had been asking her about it all week. She politely told them that she knew Zach through business, leaving out the part where they'd been lovers for years.

"Can't you just be grateful that you're having a pool party at your grandparents' house with all of your friends?"

Tyler was turning ten, and he seemed determined to challenge her about every decision she made. Their therapist said he was acting out because he felt powerless after losing Nathan, but she didn't know how much longer she could tolerate his insolence.

He didn't respond, but Rennie knew if he'd said what was on his mind, he would have told her she had the power to make it his best birthday ever but had ignored his wishes. If Zach knew the truth, she thought he would have done everything in his power to share every birthday with Tyler. How would he feel if he ever found out another man had helped Tyler blow out the candles on his birthday cakes? Just thinking about his reaction made her wish she could press rewind and relive the past ten and a half years of her life.

But then she wouldn't have met Nathan. She'd have stayed in Richland Hills and been bound by a custody arrangement that dictated when she had to give up her son and for how long. Or maybe she would have married Zach, and the three of them would have lived happily ever after, and her baby never would have had to experience the heartbreak of losing his daddy.

No matter how often Rennie speculated about what might have been, she couldn't undo her mistakes. She just had to deal with her life as it was and decide whether she could continue to live with a lie that was obviously hurting the person she loved most. Tyler needed a father, and he had one. Did she have the courage to tell him that and deal with the fallout? Would Zach even want to know they shared a child, or would he resent her for upending his life with the news that he was a father?

She had so many unanswered questions, and as she pulled into her parents' driveway, she realized she had no answers. Jackie and Mason were already there. They'd promised to come early and help decorate since Tyler had a game he didn't want to miss. Most of his school friends and teammates would be there within the hour. The house she'd grown up in would be filled with love and laughter, the chaos of screaming kids splashing each other in the pool, and neighbors and parents crowding the backyard as her father grilled hot dogs and burgers. Just like it had been while she grew up.

She'd loved her time in Florida, but Texas was her home. After Nathan had died, she realized how much she needed her family to help her though the tough times. Convincing Sky's the Limit to let her move her office to Arlington wasn't easy, but they eventually gave in when she offered her resignation instead. She was grateful they had let her move because she couldn't imagine her life without her job.

"I'm hungry," Tyler said, throwing the car door open before Rennie could ask him to help her with the bags in the trunk. "I'm gonna see if Grandad's got the barbeque goin'."

Rennie took a few deep breaths as she watched her son throw the back gate open and run into the backyard as if the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. He only had two speeds: full on and out cold. Just like his dad when he was young. Zach used to play baseball every chance he got, work part time as a groundskeeper at his parents' golf course, and maintain a straight A average. Everyone knew he was going places, and they'd assumed wherever he went, Rennie would go too. Fate had other ideas.

"There you are," Jackie said, laughing. "I saw the little speed demon, so I knew you couldn't be too far behind."

Rennie tried to shake off her melancholy mood as she hauled her butt out of her Volvo. The day was supposed to be fun, not a day to dwell on the past. "I hope you came to help me carry some of this stuff in?" She slammed the door and walked back to the trunk. "My son took off before I could ask him to help."

"Give him a break. It's his big day," Jackie said, smiling. She looked great in white denim shorts, a pale peach tank top, and white flip-flops. They shared the same fair hair and skin, but Jackie's new interest in gardening had given her a healthy glow. Rennie really needed to get out from behind her desk more often.

"I guess you're right." Rennie handed her sister two shopping bags containing party favors and supplies. "Besides, I'm really getting tired of arguing with him. It's exhausting."

"You sure you're not losing sleep for some other reason?" Jackie leaned her hip against the polished black car.

"Don't start with that today." She'd wasted enough time thinking about Zach and arguing with her son about him. She didn't need her sister to add to it.

"You said you'd call and let me know what happened with the lunch," Jackie said, pouting.

"Sorry, I got busy at work." That much was true. Between coordinating three projects and helping out with Sheldon's fundraiser, she was stretched pretty thin.

"Too busy to call your own sister? Come on, I'm dying to know what happened with Zach. You can't just leave me hanging."

"Sssh," Rennie hissed, looking around to make sure their mother wasn't hovering nearby. "Lunch was fine. No drama." Spending time with him had actually been nice, much nicer than she would ever admit, even to her sister.

"Was it weird?" Jackie asked, wrinkling her nose. "You know, going out with him again after all these years?"

"We did not go out." Rennie pushed the button to close the trunk once she'd extracted the last three bags. "We had a busy lunch. It was very productive."

"Just how productive was it, sis?" Jackie asked, grinning.

Rennie rolled her eyes behind her dark sunglasses. Her kid sister always said what she thought, no matter the consequences. Rennie had always envied that about her. "We did what we set out to do." She led the way up the stone path. "Don't say anything to Mama and Daddy. I'm not ready for them to know I'm seeing Zach again."

"Ah hah!" Jackie's bright blue eyes twinkled with amusement. "You said it yourself. You two are seeing each other."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Rennie smiled at her sister's single-mindedness. She was like a pitbull when she went after something she wanted. "Zach and I are not getting back together, so don't get your hopes up."

"You don't know that for sure," Jackie said, looking dejected.

Rennie had almost forgotten how difficult it had been for Jackie to accept that the man she viewed as the epitome of male perfection had deceived her sister. "I know you're a sucker for a happy ending, but it's not going to happen."

"What do you think will happen?" Jackie asked.

"I don't know." Rennie saw no point in worrying her sister with worst-case scenarios.

"Does he know about Nathan yet?" Jackie's big blue eyes filled with the same sympathetic look she always got when talking about Rennie's husband.

"No." She knew she should tell Zach the truth, but his not knowing she was a widow provided a buffer she desperately needed.

"Wait 'til he finds out." Jackie nudged her hip as they walked up the stone path to the backyard. "Then it's really gonna be game on."

"Don't be ridiculous," Rennie said, trying to ignore the flutter in her belly when she thought about going out on a real date with Zach again. It could never happen, but thinking about it was kind of nice. They'd had a lot of great years together, and time had softened her anger over the way things had ended. She just had the aching reminder that their relationship had been like no other. Not even her marriage could compare to the intense years she'd spent loving Zach. "For all we know, he could have a girlfriend. I saw his picture in the paper with some girl the other day."

Jackie threw her head back and her long blond ponytail struck Rennie in the face. "I saw that too. It didn't look like he was all that into her though."

"How can you tell? They were smiling." She'd studied that picture for longer than she was willing to admit, trying to decipher Zach's mood. Was he faking it for the camera or was he genuinely happy to be with the beautiful woman on his arm?

"I know Zach, and so do you. The guy reads like an open book."

"Do you, uh, see him very often?" Rennie asked. She had purposefully avoided asking her sister about Zach over the years, knowing it was best to avoid the subject.

"Just at the club once in a while." Zach's parents still owned the golf course, and since Jackie, her husband, and their parents were all avid golfers, they had a family membership.

"He still plays?" Rennie knew she shouldn't try to glean information about her ex if she wanted to stay out of his life and, more importantly, keep her son out of his sight.

"Yeah." Jackie laughed. "Mason's even played a few rounds with him over the years. He always comes home grumbling about how unfair it is that Zach's not only one of the best pitchers in the league but a hell of a golfer too. He says it makes it real hard to like him." Jackie giggled. "Of course, he can't wait to go in to the office and tell everyone he played a round of golf with Zach Foster."

"Does he think name dropping will help him make partner faster?" Rennie couldn't keep the edge out of her voice. Rennie knew how anxious her brother-in-law was to make partner at his law firm, but for reasons she didn't want to analyze, it still bothered her when people used their association with Zach to make themselves look better. He was a great guy... who'd broken her heart... who didn't want their baby... who lied to her about wanting to start a family. She had to keep reminding herself of that, or she was at risk of falling for him all over again.

Jackie shot her a sidelong glance, barely able to keep the smirk off her face. "Who made you Zach's protector, sis?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Zach doesn't need me or anyone else to defend him."

***

Zach was surprised to see the Baldwins' home number flash on his call display just after his game ended. "Hello?"

"Zach, is that you?"

He immediately recognized the little voice he'd heard on the phone the other night. "Hey, Tyler. What's up, buddy?"

"We're... uh... having a party over at my Grandad and Nana's house, and I was wondering if you could come?"

Zach smiled. He had the feeling Tyler was issuing the invitation without his mother's knowledge. "What kind of party?"

"It's my birthday party."

"Cool, how old--" Zach stopped talking when he realized Tyler was talking to someone in the background. He hoped it wasn't the boy's father, who would no doubt question why his son was talking to his wife's ex.

"My nana's here. She wants to talk to you."

"Great." Zach had always had a great relationship with the Baldwins, even after their daughter left town. "Hey, Marian," he said, chuckling when she greeted him. "Your grandson is quite the character."

"Isn't he though? It seems there's nothing he won't do to meet his baseball idol."

"How did he get my number?" One thing was certain: Rennie wouldn't have given it to him.

"He went through his mother's phone and found it." Marian cleared her throat delicately. "I had no idea you and Rennie were still in touch."

"We just reconnected a couple of days ago, actually. I'm helping her with a couple of projects she's working on for Sky's the Limit."

"Is that so?"

Zach heard the smile in her voice, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why she would welcome him back into the fold when her daughter was happily married. "Yeah, it's been nice catching up with her." The gold band on Rennie's hand prevented him from telling Rennie or her mother how he really felt.

"I'm sure she feels the same way."

Zach had gotten the impression she was softening toward him, not that he knew what he'd done to make her so angry she'd leave him at the altar. Maybe one day he'd convince her to tell him. Not that it mattered anymore. She'd moved on with her life, and maybe he could start to move on too. "Tell Tyler I'm sorry I can't make his party."

"Oh, that's too bad." Marian sounded genuinely disappointed. "Meeting you would make his day."

Zach thought about how much it would have meant to him as a kid to meet a real professional baseball player. "Do you think his parents would mind if I just crashed the party?"

"His parents?" Marian hesitated. "Uh, no. You're welcome here anytime. In fact, I think I'll ask your parents to stop by too. They've been after me to meet Tyler ever since he moved to town. I think this would be the perfect time. Half the town's already here. What could a few more hurt, right?" She laughed.

"If you're sure?"

"I am. I know Chuck would love to see you too, hon."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

# Chapter Five

Rennie couldn't figure out why her mother, who'd been the perfect hostess when they arrived, was shooting daggers at her from her post at the beverage station. Approaching cautiously, Rennie held out her plastic cup. "Can I get a refill of your sweet tea, Mama?"

"Jackie, come over here," Marian said, crooking her finger. "You take over. I need to have a word with your sister."

Uh oh. Rennie didn't like the sound of that. "Is there a problem?"

Marian grabbed her daughter's elbow and steered her into the kitchen. She locked the door and lowered the white wooden shades. With a hand fisted on her hip, she said, "You care to tell me why you led Zach to believe your husband was still alive?"

Rennie snapped her mouth shut when she realized it was hanging open. "I didn't tell him anything about my marital status because it's not any of his business."

"When are you going to get tired of living this lie, girl?"

After her recent chat with Jackie, Rennie feared the day would come when her mama would call her out about Tyler's birth father. She never expected it to be at her son's birthday party. "Can we talk about this another time?" She slid her damp palms down the sides of her shorts.

"No, we need to talk about it now 'cause Zach and his parents are on their way over."

Rennie gripped the back of the high-back oak chair. She wished she could blame the spinning room on heat exhaustion or dehydration, but she knew she was in full-blown panic. "What are you talking about? They can't come here."

"They surely can. Your son invited Zach, and I extended the invitation to my good friends. They're real excited to meet my grandson."

Rennie sucked in a breath as one horrible scenario after another flitted through her mind. Zach and the Fosters would take one look at Tyler and know the truth. How could she get that runaway train of a situation back on track? "Then we're leaving."

"No, you're not." Marian grabbed her daughter's wrist when she tried to walk past. "You're going to stay right here and do what you should have done years ago. You're going to tell Zach he has a son."

Rennie felt the tears welling in her eyes, blurring her vision. It was worse than her worst nightmare. She'd never imagined dozens of people, including Zach's parents, would be around when her world came crashing down. "You can't make me stay."

"Doesn't Tyler deserve to know the truth? How can you sleep at night knowing you're keeping your son from his father, especially now when it's so painfully obvious he needs one? Why do you think he reached out to Zach? He's missing Nathan so damn much."

Rennie sank down in a chair, tears falling down her cheeks as she bowed her head to pray for understanding and forgiveness. She prayed that her baby wouldn't stop loving her when he found out what she'd done.

Marian sighed and stroked her daughter's back gently. "I don't know why you did what you did all those years ago, honey. All I know is that it isn't right. No matter what Zach did, it couldn't have been bad enough for you to decide he didn't deserve to be a father to his son."

"He didn't want Tyler. He said so himself," she said, sobbing. "I was just trying to protect my baby. I didn't want him to grow up trying to earn his father's love or feeling as though his dad resented him. I had to think about what was best for Tyler."

Marian ran her daughter's long blond ponytail through her hand. "You told Zach you were pregnant, and he said he didn't want the baby? That doesn't sound like him."

"No, I overheard a conversation he and Kevin had." Rennie reached for a paper napkin in a ceramic holder on the table. "It was the night before the wedding."

"I see." Marian claimed the chair next to her daughter. "That's why you ran away."

"I didn't think I had a choice. I was angry with Zach at first. Maybe a part of me left because I wanted to hurt him." She brushed away her tears with the napkin and toyed with the edges to avoid looking at her mother. "Eventually, I had to let go of the anger because I saw so much of him in our son. I knew I couldn't love our son as much as I did and hate his father."

"Yet you didn't tell Zach, not even after Nathan died. Why?"

She knew Zach would ask that question, so she decided to practice her response on her mother. Maybe if she could make her mother believe that her heart had been in the right place, she could make Zach believe it too. "Tyler was such a happy baby. He was so well-adjusted, and he and Nathan developed this wonderful bond." Rennie knew she couldn't share that part with Zach. "Zach wasn't ready for a family, so I thought I was doing what was best for everyone by raising Tyler with Nathan. My husband got the child he'd always wanted, I had the love and support I needed, my son had a father who adored him, and Zach was free to live his life without raising a child he didn't want."

"Oh, honey," Marian said, reaching for her daughter's hand. "I can understand why you did what you did, but you had to know the truth would come out eventually. Especially when you came home. Richland Hills is a small town. It was only a matter of time before Zach's parents ran into Tyler somewhere and put the pieces together."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole story before." Rennie felt a little better after coming clean with her mother.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to," Marian said, patting her hand. "Zach and his parents have missed out on the first ten years of that little boy's life. I can't imagine how they're going to feel."

"Neither can I," Rennie whispered. "Neither can I."

***

Zach managed to get all of his teammates to sign a jersey and ball for Tyler before he left the stadium. He knew that's exactly what a baseball fan his age would want, but he was still nervous when he walked into the Baldwins' large backyard. He'd spent half his life there, but everything was different. He felt like an outsider intruding on Rennie's family's party.

Chuck spotted him right away and made his way toward him with a cold beer. "Hey, your parents said you were stopping by." He pressed the bottle into Zach's hand. "Too bad you guys weren't able to score a win today. You pitched a hell of a game."

"Thanks." Zach tipped the bottle back, enjoying the refreshment after a hot day in the sun. He had to fly out later for a game the next day. He would have to stop at one beer, so he intended to savor it. "But weren't you supposed to be supervising your grandson's birthday party?"

Chuck laughed and slapped Zach's back. "Don't tell my wife, but I snuck inside every few minutes so I could see what was happening."

"I won't tell." Zach grinned until he spotted a little boy with dark-blond hair playing with a man in the pool. He couldn't see the kid's face, but they reminded him that some other man had stolen his life with Rennie. Coming there was a bad idea...

"There you are," his mother, Lenora, said, coming up behind him. She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Nice game today."

"Thanks." Zach smiled when she slipped her arm through his. He and his parents had always been close, which was why he was happy he'd gotten traded to the Rangers. He hoped to finish out his career at home.

"I have to run back inside and grab some more burgers," Chuck said. "It looks like this party isn't winding down anytime soon." He winked at his old friend. "We're getting too old for this, aren't we?"

Lenora slipped her sunglasses up on her head, securing her artfully highlighted blond hair. "Speak for yourself, old-timer. I've never felt younger."

Chuck was still laughing when he walked away, making Zach smile. They were his people in the place he'd always felt he belonged. He hadn't even realized how much he'd missed it until he walked through the back gate. His mind flooded with memories of some of the best years of his life.

"Have you met Tyler, Zach?" Lenora watched the children taking turns diving off the diving board.

"No. Why?"

Her grip on his bicep tightened. "Do you know how old he is?"

"He must be turning nine, right?"

Lenora glanced at a buffet table where a half-eaten birthday cake rested. The beer bottle nearly slipped from his hand when he zeroed in on the rainbow-colored candle in the shape of a number ten. What the hell? "He's ten?" Zach could barely breathe as reality closed in on him.

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"You don't think..." He could barely say the words. "Do you think Rennie cheated on me?" The fierce pain in his stomach told him he knew better than to question her fidelity, but surely she wouldn't have left town if she'd been carrying his baby.

Lenora's eyes filled with tears. "No, honey. I just met Tyler. There's no question he's your son."

"But how do you know for sure..." He saw a little boy jump out of the pool and make a beeline for him while Jackie yelled at him to stop running near the pool. One look at Tyler answered his question. Zach hadn't seen it in the picture on Rennie's desk because the little boy's eyes and hair had been hidden by a baseball cap. Looking into his eyes... He was his son. "Oh my God."

"I know," his mother whispered. "He looks just like you did at that age."

Zach stared at the little boy running toward him, and he saw himself reflected in those dark eyes. Dropping to one knee, he knew onlookers would think he was meeting the child at his level, but in reality, his legs couldn't have supported his weight if his life depended on it.

"You made it!" Tyler cried, halting mere inches from Zach.

The pull was magnetic, and Zach knew Tyler felt it too. The boy couldn't possibly understand what he was feeling. The urge to swoop Tyler up and hug him was almost impossible to ignore, but he didn't want to scare him or set off a series of questions he couldn't answer. Zach said, "Of course I came. I promised I would, didn't I?" As long as he lived, he would never break a promise to the kid.

"Yeah, but my mom is always telling me how busy you are," he said, shrugging. He looked down at his bare feet. "She's gonna be real mad that I called you."

Zach had never been so furious and hurt. How could Rennie have done that? What possible reason could she have had for keeping him from his child? He knew he needed to cool down before he faced his son's mother. He couldn't trust himself not to make a scene, and he didn't want to ruin Tyler's tenth birthday party. Ten. His son was ten, and Zach had to come to terms with the fact that he'd missed out on so much... because another man was raising his son. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to tell his son, but he couldn't. They would have to break it to him gently, but a part of Zach resented waiting another minute to let Tyler know he was his. "I'll handle your mama. Are you having a good party so far?"

"Yeah, it's pretty great," Tyler said, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Especially now that you're here. I told my friends you were coming, but they didn't believe me."

Zach saw a group of a dozen boys, who looked as though they ranged in age from ten to twelve, huddled together, whispering and pointing at Zach. He lifted a hand to acknowledge the kids. He would have to greet them later, but the only kid he was interested in spending time with was his own. "Listen, I have a present for you in the car. Why don't we go and grab it?"

"Zach," Lenora said, placing her hand on her son's shoulder, "don't you think you should check with his mother first?"

He didn't think he could stand to look at Rennie, much less ask her permission to spend a few minutes alone with the son she'd made it her life's mission to keep from him. "If she asks, tell her we'll be right back." Zach stood up, realizing his mother was probably as anxious to make Tyler's acquaintance as he had been. "Hey, buddy, this is my mama."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Foster," Tyler said shyly.

Zach's heart swelled with pride. Even though he'd had nothing to do with instilling those impeccable manners in Tyler, he couldn't help himself. He was his son. His son. And Zach wanted the whole world to know. He caught Jackie watching them, and that's when he realized they'd all been in on Rennie's secret. For years, he'd treated those people like family, even after Rennie left, because he loved and trusted them. He had to face facts--they'd executed the ultimate betrayal.

"It's nice to meet you too, Tyler," Lenora said with a watery smile as she bent to slip her hand into his. "Happy birthday, by the way. I heard you like golf, so we bought you a gift certificate for golf camp and private lessons with one of our pros this summer."

"Seriously?" Tyler's dark eyes lit up with enthusiasm. "That'd be awesome!"

"So you like sports, huh, kid?" Zach ruffled Tyler's hair. His hair was the exact same color as Zach's--dark-blond with brown and lighter blond streaks.

"Are you kidding? Sports are pretty much my life." He grinned. "I wanna be a professional pitcher just like you when I grow up, Zach."

Zach. He couldn't wait for the day when Tyler would call him Dad. "Good thing you're getting started young then. It's hard work, but with the right combination of talent and luck, it could happen." The chances of the average kid becoming a professional athlete with akin to their parents winning the lottery, but he would die before he'd quash his son's dreams. If his parents hadn't believed in him and taught him to believe in himself, he wouldn't be where he was.

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes," Tyler said, lifting his chin.

Zach's lips quirked. "You know, the right coaching could go a long way to helping you."

"My dad used to coach my teams." His eyes fell to a butterfly flitting around a nearby bush.

The last thing Zach wanted to talk about was the man who had taken his place. He put his arm around Tyler's shoulder and said, "Why don't we head out to the car and get your present? I have a feeling you're going to like it."

Tyler looked at the patio door. "I think my mom's in there talking to my nana. Maybe I should tell her I'll be right back."

"That's okay." Zach exchanged a look with his mother. "You don't mind telling Rennie if you see her, do you?"

"No problem," Lenora said, smiling at Tyler. "You boys go on ahead. Have fun."

Zach was angry that his parents had been robbed of the opportunity to see their grandson grow up. They'd been incredible parents, loving and supportive, and they were already wonderful grandparents to Kevin's son, but he wanted to see them with his son. He wanted Tyler to know who they were, to develop a relationship with them and learn to love them as much as he did.

"It was really cool of you to come," Tyler said, looking up at him. "I'm sure you had better things to do than come to some ten-year-old kid's birthday party."

How could Zach tell him there was nowhere he would rather be and no one he would rather be with? "Thanks for inviting me. I think we're gonna have a blast. In fact, this was exactly what I needed after the game we had. I was feeling pretty down."

"Yeah, I heard you guys lost," Tyler muttered, kicking a stone. "Too bad."

Zach smiled. Suddenly, the loss that had seemed to define him only a couple of hours ago really didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was getting to know his son... and figuring out why the hell Rennie had tried to keep Tyler from him. "Yeah, but you win some and lose some, right? It's part of the game."

"Oh wow," Tyler said, his brown eyes widening when he spotted Zach's yellow Ferrari. "Is that your car?"

"It sure is." A sports car was the first thing he had purchased when he got his first big contract, much to Rennie's irritation. She told him it was dangerous. He promised he would be careful because she gave him a reason to come home every night. God, he'd loved that woman. Even now, when he felt something akin to hatred for her, he couldn't quash his elation that they shared a son. Whether Rennie liked it or not, he would be a part of her life forever.

"Can you take me for a ride?" Tyler asked, walking slowly around the car.

"We'd have to ask your mom first, kid." Rennie would panic if she found out he'd taken Tyler without permission. They had a lot of lost time to make up for, but unlike her, he would never try to keep his child from his parent.

"Can we go ask her now?"

Zach chuckled. "It's not cool to bail on your own birthday party. Maybe some other time."

"Promise?" Tyler asked, looking hopeful.

"I promise." He knew Tyler would be spending a lot of time in his car. In fact, every chance Zach got. If Rennie didn't like it, she could take it up with his lawyer. Zach reached into the car to retrieve the gift bag he'd picked up on the way. "I hope you like it."

Tyler pulled out the shirt first and held it up after he set the bag on the ground. "Oh wow. Seriously? This is amazing."

"There's more," Zach said, pointing at the bag. Rennie would probably complain that he was spoiling Tyler, but as far as Zach was concerned, he had a lot of lost time to make up for.

Tyler pulled out the ball and turned it over so he could see all the signatures. "This is amazing!" He launched himself at Zach and hugged him hard. "Thanks. This is the best present ever!"

"You're welcome, buddy." Zach squeezed him hard, praying he would be able to let go when the time came.

# Chapter Six

Rennie opened the front door of her parents' house, and what she saw brought a lump to her throat. She couldn't decipher whether she was feeling fear, hope, or elation, but she knew she'd secretly been waiting the past ten years for that moment. Zach's eyes connected with hers over Tyler's shoulder, and the contempt in his eyes made her step back. He knew. Of course he knew. And she had to deal with the fallout.

"Hey, Mom," Tyler said when he spotted her. "Look what Zach gave me." He ran toward her, clutching the ball and shirt. "They're signed by the whole team. How cool is that?"

"That's pretty cool," Rennie said, offering a smile she hoped looked sincere. "I hope you remembered to thank Zach."

"Mom," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'm not a baby. I know what to say when someone gives me something."

"I just wanted to make sure." Rennie glanced at Zach, who was standing a few feet behind her son. Their son. When she saw them together, the resemblance was undeniable. She was surprised Tyler hadn't picked up on it, but he was probably so awe-struck that he couldn't think straight. "Um, Tyler, why don't you get back to the party? I need to have a word with Zach."

"You're not gonna get mad at him for coming, are you?" Tyler looked over his shoulder at Zach. "'Cause it's not his fault. I practically begged him to come."

"I'm not mad," she said, knowing Zach couldn't say the same. They watched their son beat a path to the backyard. "Come in. We should talk."

He glared at her. "You're damn right we should." He brushed past her and faced her when she closed the door.

"Let's go into the kitchen."

"Hell no," he said, his voice deceptively calm. "We're not having this conversation where someone could walk in on us. Let's go to your old room."

They had too many memories in that room. Whenever her parents went out, she and Zach would sneak in there for a little alone time, praying her parents wouldn't come home before he had the chance to slip out. "I think we should--"

"I don't care what you think." He headed for the winding staircase. "You've been making the decisions for both of us for too damn long."

Rennie fought her fear as she followed him up the stairs. She had to remind herself that he wasn't an innocent victim. His words and actions had set the whole thing in motion. She couldn't cower in the face of his rage. She had to stand up to him, for herself and her son.

He strode into the room and said, "Close the door," between clenched teeth. His back was to her as she hovered in the doorway, wrestling with the urge to flee. "I don't think the whole neighborhood needs to hear our business, do you?"

He was right, Rennie decided, closing the door with a soft click. That was the last thing she needed. Everyone would have questions, seeing them together again after so many years. Mainly, were they getting back together?

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

She could tell Zach was trying to remain calm, but the edge in his voice told her his fury was simmering close to the surface. "I..." She didn't know how to answer. Her mother and son had forced her hand. She didn't know how many days or months would have slipped away before she decided she couldn't live in the same town as the man who'd fathered her child without telling him the truth. It had been easier when she was living in Tampa. Out of sight... But Zach had always been on her mind. All she had to do was look at her son to remember the man she'd almost married.

"How could you do this? How could you keep my son from me?"

His accusation snapped Rennie out of her reverie. She had every right to defend her actions. "I overheard you talking to your brother the night before our wedding." A smug smile stole her stoic expression, but she couldn't feel humor when thinking of the night that ruined her life.

"What?" He turned his back to her, no doubt to hide his guilty expression.

She knew he remembered. She saw it that split second before he averted his gaze. Years had passed, but he hadn't changed much. She could still read his emotions, and he was feeling guilt, remorse, and confusion.

"Kevin told you?"

"No."

"You were there?" He walked toward the window and looked out. Rennie knew the party was still in full swing. People were talking, laughing, playing in the pool. Their lives were moving forward, as usual, with no knowledge of the turmoil brewing around them.

"No, you pocket dialed me. I heard everything." She wrapped her arms around her mid-section when a shudder moved through her.

"You heard--"

"I heard you say that you felt pressured into marrying me, that you didn't want to have kids until after your baseball career was over. You said..." She paused, pretending she had to search for the words. They were etched in her memory like carvings on stone. "Winning a World Series was more important than having a family."

"Rennie." He finally faced her, and she saw agony drawing lines on his handsome face, but she couldn't feel pity. Maybe someday she would feel sorry for him--because he'd given up the chance to be a father to the most incredible kid she'd ever known--but sorrow wouldn't come when resentment was still edging it out. She should have let go of those feelings a long time ago, but time couldn't always heal the deepest wounds.

"I said those things because--"

"You meant them." She looked him in the eye, daring him to contradict her. She may have hidden behind lies and half-truths since her son's birth, that was her burden to bear, but she wanted him to own the truth.

"At the time, maybe I did." He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. "I don't know."

"I know." If she'd doubted his sincerity, if she'd thought he'd had a few too many beers, she would have gone to him and demanded the truth. But she knew him as well as she knew herself, and she couldn't deny the bitter sting of honesty in his voice. "I know that you didn't want the baby I was carrying, so how can you pretend to be hurt that I didn't tell you?"

"I still had a right to know."

She looked at him long and hard, reminding herself that the boy she used to love didn't exist anymore and the man she'd agreed to marry had faded away. "Your parents raised you to be an honorable man. If you'd found out I was pregnant, you would have tried to do the right thing. You would have married me, supported me and the baby financially, but your heart wouldn't have been in it."

"You don't know that."

He didn't sound convinced. How could he expect her to believe him? "You said yourself you didn't want a kid. You wanted to focus on your career. I gave you that opportunity." She couldn't help but ask, "How did that work out for you?"

Narrowing his eyes, as though he hoped to convey his fury without words, he asked, "You think you can hurt me more than you already have? You let another man raise my kid!" He slammed his open palm into his chest. "My kid!"

"A kid you didn't want!" She was grateful for the space separating them from anyone who might be wandering on the lower level. Taking a deep breath, Rennie turned her back on him to try to regain her calm. Her room looked exactly the same as it did when she left for college. Despite Jackie's pleas to redecorate the dated bedrooms, their parents claimed they were preserving a little piece of history. Rennie understood that since her son was getting older. In a few years, Tyler would think he didn't need her anymore. Maybe even sooner, when he realized she'd been keeping him from his biological father.

Rennie turned to see Zach's back. He was looking at a collection of framed photographs on a white wicker bookshelf. He looked utterly ridiculous amongst the sea of her old pink frills, pompoms, and stuffed animals. Yet he had been in there so many times, stepping into the room without associating those four walls with him would have been difficult.

Her eyes drifted to the white canopy bed, and she thought about all of the love they'd made in that bed, all the plans they'd made for their future. She remembered the ceiling fan whirring softly, almost lulling them to sleep, as he stroked her skin and whispered about making all of her dreams come true.

"I wanted you to have my babies." His voice was so quiet Rennie had to strain to hear him. "I wanted to be a father someday, and I knew you were the one..."

"But it was all happening too fast," she whispered. "It was too soon." Even though they'd been together a long time, they were both young and obviously at different places in their lives. Zach was just starting his career, but the only thing on Rennie's mind was marrying the man she loved. Maybe she had pressured him--or perhaps their parents and friends had. She knew there was enough blame to go around, and she couldn't deny her own part in it.

"I guess." He picked up a framed photo of them at Rennie's junior prom and slid his finger over the glass. "I should have told you how I felt."

She wished he had. It was too late to undo the damage. "We've had a good life." Rennie felt the need to reassure him.

"It could have been a hell of a lot better," he said, his broad shoulders slumping. "You must have known I was making millions. Why didn't you ever come after me for child support?"

"We didn't need the money." She and Tyler were used to their modest lifestyle. They lived in a small bungalow with a little backyard in case she ever gave in and got Tyler the dog he'd been begging for. It was in a safe neighborhood and close to a good school. She drove a reliable car. That's all she'd ever wanted--a simple life that made her and her son happy, where she felt as though she was contributing something of value.

"But I could have given him so much more."

"No, you couldn't have." She resented that he assumed his financial contribution would have made Tyler's life better. Her son had everything he'd ever needed: a nice home, good friends, a safe school, sports, and plenty of love. "We gave him everything he needed."

"'We'?" The remorse she'd glimpsed earlier was eclipsed by bitterness again. "By 'we,' I assume you mean you and your husband?"

She knew it was time to come clean about everything and let the chips fall where they may. "Nathan was an important part of Tyler's life. Losing him was difficult."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, stepping toward her.

His size and fury should have made him an imposing figure, but she knew Zach too well to fear him. "He died last year." No matter how many times she said that, it didn't get any easier. "He lost his life in a fire. He was one of those brave men running into a burning building when everyone else was running out."

"A firefighter?"

"Yes."

She couldn't look him in the eye while talking about the only other man she'd ever loved, so she wandered to the window. She caught sight of Tyler doing a cannonball into the pool. His birthday party was obviously everything he'd wanted it to be, and that was in no small part thanks to Zach's presence.

"Why didn't you tell me... that day in your office?" he asked.

She could tell he'd taken a few steps toward her. She almost felt his presence behind her. No matter how many years passed, she feared her body would always recognize their physical chemistry. He'd been her first lover--her only lover for a long time--and in the lonely year following her husband's death, she was ashamed to admit Zach's hands often caressed her in her dreams.

"I don't know." She did, of course. She'd just wanted to be rid of him, and she thought letting him believe she was still married would serve her purpose.

"How did Tyler take it when he died?"

"Not well." She wanted to put some space between them, but if she turned, she'd be right in his arms. "We've been in therapy. He has some anger issues. He's been acting out in school and on the playground. The therapist says he has unresolved feelings about his father's death."

"But his father isn't dead," he said, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "I'm right here. How do you think he'll feel when he finds out you lied to him about who his father is? How do you think he'll feel when he finds out you let him grieve for a man who wasn't even his dad?"

Rennie sucked in a sharp breath. That wasn't fair. Nathan had loved Tyler as though he was his own son. Biology didn't change the bond they'd shared, and she didn't want Zach's presence in Tyler's life to diminish that. "Nathan was his father. He was the one who walked the floors with him at night when he was colicky. He was the one who sat by his bed when he had the flu, who taught him to throw a baseball--"

"God damn it!" Zach shouted, startling her. "Are you trying to hurt me? Is that what this is? You're trying to remind me that another man stepped in to be the father I couldn't be?"

Turning around slowly, she met his gaze, silently challenging him to look away. "Then you admit it? You admit you wouldn't have reacted well had I told you the truth?"

"We'll never know now, will you?"

"Would you have wanted me to terminate the pregnancy?"

His face lost his ever-present summer tan. "How can you even ask me that?"

She didn't believe he would have suggested it, but she wondered if he would have wished they could undo what he considered a mistake. "I heard what you said that night. How can I not ask?"

"I loved you," he whispered fiercely. "I would have loved Tyler too if you'd given me the chance. But you didn't. You were the judge, determining that I didn't deserve to raise my son."

She knew they weren't getting anywhere rehashing the past, so she said, "I think I should get back to the party."

"We should get back to the party," he said, grabbing her arm when she tried to pass him. "Things are different now. It's not just you and Tyler anymore. I will be a part of his life whether you like it or not."

Rennie forced herself to look at him, praying her eyes didn't betray her fear. "If that's the way you want it, I'm sure we can work something out."

"I don't want to be in his life as a friend of his mom's. He is going to know I'm his dad. The sooner, the better."

"He's already been through so much this year," Rennie said, trying to buy a little more time.

"Fine, you can talk to your therapist about the best way to address this with him while I'm away."

"You're leaving?" She tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah, we have a four-day road trip. I'll be back for the fundraiser on Thursday. That should gave you plenty of time to decide how, where, and when we tell Tyler that he's my son."

"But--"

"No buts, Rennie," he said, releasing her arm. "This is how it's going to be. I'll have my lawyer prepare the paperwork."

"What paperwork?" she asked, her mouth dry. He couldn't be thinking about a joint custody arrangement so soon. Tyler needed time to get used to him, to adjust to the news.

"What's his last name?"

Oh no.  If there was one question she wanted to avoid, that was it. "It's Alexander. We thought it would be easier. We didn't want to confuse Tyler and--"

"I want him to have my name."

She recognized that tone. There was no sense arguing with him. "Can we please just take this slowly?" Her son's fragile heart was on the line. She didn't mind begging if she had to. "He's been through hell. I don't want to upset him anymore than we have to."

"See, that's where I think you've got it all wrong." Zach looked down at the hand curled around his forearm. "I think he's gonna be as stoked to get to know me as I am to get to know him."

Rennie let her hand fall to her side when she noticed Zach fixating on her narrow gold band. "Then you're happy about this?"

"Am I happy about the way this went down?" He stepped back. "No, I'm not. I'm mad as hell that I missed out on so much time with him. But I can't go back any more than you can. I can only promise you that, starting today, I am going to be a part of Tyler's life. A big part." He walked toward the door, and Rennie thought she would have a few minutes to collect herself before going downstairs. His parting shot ensured she would need more than a few minutes. "I'm going to support him from now on, financially, and that means I get my fair share of time with him."

She closed her eyes, hoping he couldn't see her clenched hands. She knew he wasn't finished, so she took a few deeps breaths and waited.

"My lawyer will take care of everything. Just know that I don't expect you to throw up a bunch of roadblocks. Let's face it--no judge is going to be sympathetic to a woman who kept a son from his father since the day he was born."

Damn him. He was right. The tables had turned. She was at his mercy, and she hated him for it.

# Chapter Seven

Zach was having a great time with Tyler and his friends, talking baseball and signing autographs, but Rennie rarely left his line of sight. He could tell she was on edge, as well she should be. Life as she knew it was about to change forever.

Zach was taking a break by the pool with a cold beer  when his father approached. "Looks like you're having a good time with the kids," John Foster said, inclining his head toward the rowdy group of boys trying to one-up each other in the pool.

"I am." Zach didn't think his mother would have told his father about Tyler's paternity in front of all of those people, but judging by his father's expression, the old man had something to say on the subject. "How's business?" Zach hoped he could transition into another subject without answering any questions about Tyler. He knew his parents would be as anxious as he was to make up for lost time, but he didn't want to overwhelm the poor kid. Given everything Tyler had been through, he wanted to be sensitive to his feelings. That didn't mean he was willing to wait indefinitely to tell his son the truth.

"Can't complain." John brought his glass to his lips and took a pensive sip. "Rennie looks good, doesn't she?"

Zach's eyes wandered to his ex-fiancée. Good was an understatement. She'd traded her shorts and tank top for a turquoise one piece with matching sheer sarong that fell just above her knees. He knew she was going for demure, but curves like hers made that impossible. "Yeah, she does."

"Her parents tell me she got married."

"Oh yeah? Did they tell you her husband died in a fire last year?" Zach didn't want to be bitter about Rennie's parents withholding information that would have changed his life, but he couldn't help it. They had to have suspected Tyler was his. The timing alone would have given them reason to question any story she told them about another man.

"Yes, they did. They said she and the boy moved back here so they could be closer to family. Pretty brave of her under the circumstances, wouldn't you say?"

Zach was grateful for the sunglasses that hid his expression. "Mom told you?"

"She didn't have to. I can put two and two together." John turned his back on the kids as he nodded to a few members of his country club. "When did you find out?"

"Today."

"Son of a..." He drew a deep breath, obviously trying to maintain his composure. "How could Rennie do this? Wasn't it bad enough that she embarrassed you in front of the whole goddamn town?"

"Dad, there were extenuating circumstances." Zach wasn't anxious to share the whole truth, but he couldn't let Rennie take sole responsibility.

"Oh yeah?" John couldn't conceal his derision if he tried. Zach had seen that look too many times. Though John had never directed his anger at Rennie before, not even when she walked out on their wedding. "Are you gonna tell me she was justified in keeping your boy from you?"

"No, Dad." Zach ran a hand over his mouth, wishing he could make an excuse to leave early. With a four-day road trip coming up, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Tyler. He was having a blast hanging out with the boys too, even if Tyler just thought of him as some baseball player he idolized. "I'm not saying she was justified, but after talking to Rennie, all I can say is she did what she thought was best for our son."

"How the hell can you say that? There's no excuse for what she did. I don't know who I'm angrier with: her for keeping our grandson from us or her parents for pretending to be our friends all these years."

The situation would escalate into World War III if Zach didn't figure out a way to diffuse it. The truth was his last option. "Let's take a little walk." He pointed toward a path to an adjoining park.

"Why?" John asked, setting his glass on a nearby table.

"Because you need to understand that I'm not an innocent victim in all this." His parents may have been victimized by missing out on the opportunity to know their grandson, but Zach trusted Rennie's motivations. As angry as he was, he knew Rennie wasn't a vindictive woman.

"What did you do to deserve this?"

"Hey, you're not leaving are you, Zach?" Tyler asked, poking his head out of the water.

"No, I'm just gonna take a little walk. I'll be back soon."

"Cool," he said, grinning.

"It's obvious that boy idolizes you," John said quietly as he fell into step beside Zach.

Zach waited until they'd left the crowds behind before he said, "He's a pitcher. Can you believe that? Says he wants to be just like me when he grows up."

John watched a little girl spraying a dog with a garden hose. She laughed with delight every time he shook himself, soaking her pink sundress in the process. "He looks just like you did at that age. As soon as I saw him, my heart damn near stopped."

"I know. Mine too." Zach led the way to the baseball field. He and his father used to go there all the time when he was a kid. He'd plead with his dad to take him every night after dinner when he was too young to venture so far from home without adult supervision.

"What excuse did she give you for pulling a stunt like this?" John asked, cracking his knuckles.

Zach got his stature from his father. At well over six feet and on the south side of two hundred pounds, he was an intimidating man. Zach didn't look forward to his father's look of disgust after he told him about the conversation with Kevin. As ashamed as Zach was to admit it,  he'd meant every word he said to his brother. He had felt pressured into marrying Rennie--not by her, but by their family and friends. People who had known them for years assumed marriage was their next logical step, so he'd caved instead of telling her that he needed a couple more years to get his career off the ground before he felt ready for marriage and a family. But that didn't mean he'd felt any relief when Rennie left town. Figuring out how to live without her was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

"I'm waiting for an answer," John said, stopping short when he saw two boys just a little older than Tyler playing baseball. One pitched while the other swung for all he was worth.

"Things were so simple back then." Zach remembered when the only thing that mattered to him was playing baseball. He still loved the game, but it wasn't enough to fill the void in his life anymore. The off-season was long, and while High Rollers occupied a lot of his time, it wasn't enough.

"You're not a kid anymore," his father said, slapping his back. "It seems like only yesterday we used to come here. Now you've got a kid of your own." He smiled as the batter sent a line drive down the first base line. "You can bring him here. He'd love that."

"Yeah, that'd be fun." Zach had no doubt Tyler would love that, but not as much as Zach would. His fear of having a family had died a long time ago. He was looking forward to learning what it meant to be a father. At least he had a good role model. His old man could be ornery at times, but he was as steadfast and reliable as they came.

"You were trying to avoid telling me why Rennie called off the wedding." He slipped his hands into the pockets of his pressed cotton shorts. "You want to try dancing around the topic a little longer, or are you ready to spit it out already?"

Zach smirked. His father had never been one to pull punches. It was kind of reassuring to see he hadn't lost his edge. "I pocket dialed Ren the night before the wedding."

John frowned as Zach led him toward the staggered wooden benches that served as stands. "You pocket dialed her?"

"Yeah."

Zach settled in, wondering how it would feel to watch Tyler take the pitcher's mound. He would probably be more nervous for his son than he was for himself. He hoped he would be able to help foster Tyler's love of the game...

His father snapped his fingers in front of Zach's face. "Still waiting for an explanation."

"Remember Kev and I came to the club that night to have a couple of beers and talk?"

"I remember." His father had been there tending to some staffing issue, but he stopped by their table before he left to remind them they had to be back there early to meet the photographer. "Your conversation seemed pretty intense. What were you talking about?"

"Life..." Zach let his laced hands hang between his knees. He was itching to get out on the mound, to engage in the one activity that always took his mind off everything else, even Rennie. "Marriage, kids."

"Make sense, given you were about to take the plunge."

"I guess." Zach ran a hand over the back of his neck. Disappointing his father wasn't easy, even though he should be long past the age where he sought parental approval. "I said some things I probably shouldn't have. Or maybe I should have said them, but to Rennie."

"What kind of things?"

"I told Kev I felt pressured into getting married." He closed his eyes as he imagined how Rennie must have felt hearing his words, especially knowing she was carrying his baby. She would have been devastated. No wonder she'd wanted revenge before she left town. It all made sense. "I also told him I wasn't gonna be ready to have a kid in the foreseeable future. I think I told him maybe when my baseball career was over." Zach realized how ridiculous that sounded. He was a long way from packing it in, and he'd been ready to settle down for several years. He kept telling himself he hadn't found the right woman, but one look at his ex-fiancée convinced him he'd just been looking for someone to elicit that same reaction she always had.

"Ah, son"--John ran a beefy hand over his mouth--"you sure as hell made a mess of things, didn't ya now?"

Zach knew he couldn't defend his words, so he didn't even bother trying. "I loved her, Dad. That wasn't the issue. I think I just needed a little more time to figure out who I was before I committed to being part of a couple for the rest of my life. Is that so terrible?"

John chuckled. "You're asking the wrong guy. I married your mama when I was twenty-three."

"No regrets?" Zach braced himself for the response. He'd always believed his parents had a perfect marriage. Even if it wasn't true, he'd rather go on believing it.

John looked into Zach's eyes. Even though Zach was wearing sunglasses, he could read the intensity in his father's stare. "You're not human if you don't have a doubt or two. People fight, that's a part of life, but that doesn't mean I ever would've given up on what me and your mama have. She's my rock."

"Kinda like Rennie was my rock," Zach said quietly. "I felt so lost after she left, like a part of me was missing."

"I know, son." John wrapped a strong hand around his son's neck. "I know we all encouraged you to stop looking for her, but maybe we shouldn't have. If you'd found her, you would've found out about Tyler a hell of a lot sooner."

"True," Zach said, sighing. "But what kind of father would I have been back then? Would I have been what Tyler needed or was he better off being raised by"--he couldn't even say his name--"him." Even though he owed Rennie's late husband a debt of gratitude for loving Tyler so much, the sting would have to lessen before he felt ready to admit it.

"You've always loved kids. You may not have thought you were ready to be a father back then, but I believe you would have done the right thing."

Zach smiled at his father's choice of words. "That's what Rennie said--that I would have done the right thing--but would that have been the right thing for Tyler? I mean, do you think he would have sensed that I wasn't into being a dad?" When his father didn't respond, he tipped his head back and watched the clouds shift in the darkening sky. "Maybe she was right to take him away from me. Maybe that's the best thing she could have done for him."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," John said. "You were young and stupid ten years ago." He nudged Zach with his shoulder. "Now you're older... and not as stupid."

Zach shook his head when his father's tanned face split into a wide grin. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad."

"You'll figure this out," John said, slapping his knee. "Just give it a little time, and remember what's important in all this: Tyler."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Uh oh," John said, getting to his feet. "It looks like you've been spotted." He gestured toward the boys heading toward them. "I'll leave you to it. I'm gonna head back to the party and have a chat with my grandson's mother about bringing him to the club sometime soon."

Zach grabbed his father's forearm. "Don't come on too strong, okay? I wanna give Tyler a chance to get used to me being in his life before we bombard him with the rest of the family."

"Don't worry," John said, winking. "You know me, always easy-going."

Zach rolled his eyes as he tried to hold back his smile. "Yeah, right." When John had taken a few steps, Zach said, "One more thing."

"What's that?"

"Don't give Rennie a hard time. I want us to work this out for Tyler's benefit."

John shook his head, looking amused. "Right, it's all for Tyler's benefit. It has nothing to do with the fact you still have feelings for his mama."

***

Rennie was in the kitchen refilling large plastic bowls with chips and pretzels when Zach's father walked in. She'd seen John and Zach wander off half an hour ago. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they had been talking about.

"Nice party," John said, bracing a hand on the kitchen counter as he watched her.

"Thanks. Tyler seems to be enjoying himself. That's what matters."

"I agree," he said, lowering his deep voice as eyes so much like his son's, so much like Tyler's, bore into her. "Tyler is the only thing that matters. Which begs the question, why did you keep him from us?" Rennie fumbled with the bag of pretzels, her hands trembling. John's employees often found him intimidating. Rennie hadn't seen that side of him... until now. He towered over her, his scowl lines set deeply in his tanned face. "I know my son behaved like an ass, but we didn't deserve to suffer because he wasn't ready to grow up."

So Zach had told his father the truth. She had to admit he'd earned back a measure of her respect with the act. He could have easily made her out to be the bad guy who'd kept a little boy from his father and grandparents without justification. Rennie covered John's hand with her own, daring to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry you and Lenora got hurt. That was never my intent."

His scowl softened as he looked in Rennie's eyes. "He's our grandson. You had to know we'd want to be a part of his life."

"I know, but..." Rennie turned away from the food  The sight of it suddenly turned her stomach. "I couldn't let you guys in without inviting Zach into Tyler's life too, and given how he felt about becoming a father, I couldn't do that."

"So you did it all on your own? Knowing damn well Zach's child support payments could have made your life a hell of a lot easier?"

"I didn't want your son's money." She felt defensive even though she knew he wasn't accusing her of anything. "It was never about that for me. I hope you know that." She'd loved Zach long before his career was a sure thing, and she believed she would have loved him long after, had she not learned how he truly felt. Ignorance is bliss--she'd heard that asinine statement so many times. She would never have given her life and love to Zach if she'd known his excitement about their future was the furthest thing from the truth.

"I know that." John ran a hand over his thick silver hair, a rare show of unease. "We raised Zach to live up to his responsibilities. I hope you know he never would have abandoned you or his son."

"I know that." Rennie spared him a sidelong glance. "But I didn't want to be his responsibility, and I certainly didn't want our son to feel like an obligation."

"I can understand that, but we want a relationship with Tyler."

John wasn't asking; he was telling. Just as Rennie knew he would. "I know. I just need a little time to figure out how to tell him about all of this. It's going to come as a shock."

"It seemed to me he and Zach were getting along great," John said, mimicking Rennie's pose. "It may not be as bad as you think."

He stood less than a foot away from her, making her realize why his employees saw him as imposing. He was a big man, a shade taller and heavier than his son. Rennie wondered if Tyler, who was still on the small size for his age, would go through a growth spurt in the future. "Nathan was the only father Tyler's ever known, John." Rennie knew that was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"Ah yes, your husband. The man you tried to pass off as your son's biological father."

It wasn't as underhanded as John made it seem. Tyler had grown up with Nathan. When he took his first steps, it was to Nathan. When he said his first words, they were mama and dada. Nathan gave Tyler his first ball and glove. Tyler had never had reason to question whether Nathan was his father. It still hurt Rennie to think Nathan was no longer a part of her life. The situation would be easier to face with him. He had a way of making her believe everything would turn out fine, no matter how dire it seemed. "I loved Nathan, and he loved me and Tyler. He was a good man."

"I'm sure he was, but that's not the point is it. He wasn't Tyler's real father, and the boy needs to know that."

Rennie bristled at John's characterization. Nathan had been more of a father to her son than most men would have even if they had shared the same DNA. She wouldn't belittle his role by reducing it to a matter of blood. She'd come to realize being a good dad was so much more than that. "I'll tell my son when I decide the time is right. Not when you tell me to." Her stomach quivered as she forced herself to stand up to him.

John looked her in the eye, his frown softening into a smile. "I see you haven't changed a bit. You're still the same determined young woman my son fell in love with."

Rennie didn't want to remember the past she'd shared with Zach. If she allowed sentimentality to rule her actions, she would be at his mercy. For her sake and her son's, she couldn't take that risk. Standing her ground was even more important now than it was the day she walked out of his life. "You're wrong. I'm not the same naïve girl. I'm almost ashamed to admit I loved your son more than I loved myself back then. Making him happy and building a life with him were the only things that mattered to me. Now the only things that matter to me are taking care of my son and staying true to who I am."

John gave her a look that exposed his grudging admiration. "It's obvious you've done a wonderful job raising him."

"Thank you."

"We don't want to hurt him or you, but we intend to be a part of his life. If there's one thing I'm sure you remember about me, it's that I'm not a patient man."

"I remember. But these things take time. You need to respect that." She was proud of herself for standing up to him. Ten years ago, she wouldn't have been so brave.

John cupped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Lenora and I loved you like a daughter. That hasn't changed."

Rennie blinked back tears. "I appreciate that."

"Now you're part of the family whether you like it or not."

"I always wanted to be a part of your family," Rennie said, smiling and sniffling at the same time before she laughed. "Just not like this."

"However it happened"--he leaned in to kiss her forehead--"I'm happy you're home, and I'm even happier to know that I have another grandson. I can't wait to get to know him better."

Rennie smiled, grateful Tyler had more people to love him and help guide him into the wonderful young man she knew he would become. "I can't wait for that either." She reached up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

# Chapter Eight

Rennie sat in the waiting room of her therapist's office, twisting her purse strap. She rarely met with the doctor alone, and given the reason for her visit, her stomach was in knots. Zach was due home tomorrow, and she knew she couldn't put off the visit any longer.

"Rennie," the brunette receptionist said with a warm smile, "Dr. Kline will see you now."

"Thanks," she whispered, getting to her feet. Her legs felt unsteady as she walked to the big wooden door and turned the knob.

"Good afternoon, Rennie," Dr. Kline said with a smile, beckoning her inside. "This was a pleasant surprise. I assume something came up that you need to discuss before our session with Tyler?"

"Yes." She forced herself to put one foot in front of the other until she reached the small couch in the middle of the room. The therapist was already seated on the soft gray chair, his usual post during sessions. Tyler usually sat at one end of the couch, she at the other. She looked at the empty spot her son usually occupied, wondering how many sessions it would take for him to get over his anger with her.

"Why don't you tell me about it," the doctor said when she remained silent for a full minute.

She cleared her throat, hoping to find her voice. "Um, I..." There was no easy way to say it, so she might as well just come out with it. "I mentioned to you during our initial visit that Nathan wasn't Tyler's biological father."

"Yes, and I recall encouraging you to share that information with your son," he said, pushing his silver-rimmed glasses back up the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

Dr. Kline was good at what he did, and he'd helped both of them come to terms with Nathan's death, but he still reminded Rennie of her high school principal, who made her squirm every time he set foot in one of her classes. "Yes, you did."

"But you said you weren't ready. Has something happened to change your mind?"

"Tyler's father found out about him."

"I see." The doctor made a few notes before returning his attention to her. "How did this happen?"

Knowing the doctor was bound by confidentiality, she saw no reason to withhold Zach's identity. "My former fiancé is a--"

The doctor held up his hand. "You were engaged to Tyler's father before he was born?"

"Yes."

Apparently she'd left out that detail. She watched Dr. Kline making more notes, and she wished she could peer into his leather notebook to find out what he'd written. Did he think she was a terrible person for keeping a father from his son, or a horrible mother for allowing her child to endure Nathan's death knowing full well he wasn't the boy's biological father? She knew she was being ridiculous and allowing her imagination to take her places she shouldn't go, but her guilt and fear over's Tyler's reaction was keeping her awake at night.

"Anyways, things didn't work out with Zach because he wasn't ready to have a family. I knew I was pregnant, but I didn't want to burden him with a baby he didn't want, so I left town."

"I see."

Knowing he was waiting for her to elaborate, Rennie said, "I just wanted the best possible life for my son. I wanted him to feel loved and wanted. I wasn't trying to keep him from his father, but--"

"Rennie, you don't have to justify your actions to me."

Realizing that's exactly what she was trying to do, Rennie forced herself to shift her focus. "Zach came back into our lives recently. It wasn't what I expected, or even wanted, but he knows the truth about Tyler. I have to figure out how to deal with it and tell Tyler the truth."

"Has Tyler met Zach?"

"Yes."

"How did that go?"

She had no choice but to reveal Zach's identity. Zach was a public figure, the hometown hero. Their story would no doubt be big news for a day or two when it finally broke, and she wanted to do everything she could to protect Tyler from the fallout. "Tyler idolizes Zach, Dr. Kline. You know how much Tyler loves baseball--"

"Of course, but what does that have to do with--"

"His biological father is Zach Foster." She knew by his look of surprise that she didn't have to say any more.

"I see." He shifted and cleared his throat.

She needed to say something, anything, to break the uneasy silence. "My assistant called Zach to ask him to fulfill a wish for one of our applicants. She didn't know about our history at the time."

"So you and Zach reconnected, but how did Tyler find out about Zach?"

"My son knew I'd had a meeting with Zach, and he was anxious to meet him," Rennie said, sighing. "He wanted me to invite him to his birthday party. When I refused, he invited him himself."

Dr. Kline's lips turned up, his amusement obvious. "Your son is a determined young man. He knows what he wants, and he goes after it."

"True." She loved and resented that about Tyler. At times his tenaciousness drove her crazy, but at other times, it made her so proud she could burst.

"How did Zach react when he learned Tyler was his son?" Dr. Kline asked.

"He was shocked, of course, and angry that I'd kept it from him." She replayed their conversation in her head. "But I think he understood why I did what I did."

"Then he wasn't angry with you?"

"Oh, he was," she said. "But I think he was angry with himself too. He knows I wouldn't have left had I believed for a second that he was ready for a baby."

"I take it Tyler doesn't know yet." He slipped the end of his silver pen between his lips.

"No, that's why I'm here. I have to figure out how to tell him, to mitigate the damage. He's already been through so much. I'm afraid to burden him with any more right now."

"But Zach is anxious for him to know the truth?"

"Yes. He's returning from a road trip tomorrow, and he wants us to tell Tyler as soon as he gets back." She hoped the doctor would tell her that was a bad idea, that they should wait until the two had developed a relationship before they told Tyler the truth.

"But you don't want to do that?"

"Do you think we should?" she asked, holding her breath as she waited.

The doctor crossed and uncrossed his legs. "There is no right or wrong answer, Rennie. There's no way of predicting how Tyler might respond. I think the best thing to do is tell him, and we'll assess how to proceed from there."

"So, let the chips fall where they may? That's what you're suggesting?" She couldn't suppress the hysteria bubbling up inside of her. "I can't take that kind of risk."

"I don't see that you have a choice. Your son needs to know, and Zach intends to tell him. You can either be a part of the process or step aside and let Zach do what he thinks is best."

Rennie resented the doctor's suggestion. She was Tyler's mother; it was her job to decide what was best for her son. But Zach was his father, and whether she liked it or not, that gave him equal rights. "Fine, I'll talk to Zach when he returns tomorrow. We'll decide on when and how." Rennie got to her feet, offering the doctor a stiff smile. He didn't tell her what she'd hoped to hear, but she was paying for his opinion, so she had to respect it. "Thank you for fitting me in on such short notice."

"Your time isn't up," he said, consulting the clock. "Perhaps you'd like to talk about your feelings for Tyler's father?"

"My feelings for Zach?" Rennie could almost feel the color draining from her face. "I don't have any feelings for him. He's Tyler's father, nothing more."

Dr. Kline regarded her carefully. "Are you sure about that?"

He always made her uncomfortable when he looked at her like that. He reminded her of one of those psychics at the county fair who looked at her as if they knew something about her that she didn't. "I'm sure."

He sighed as though he didn't agree with her claim but wasn't going to challenge her... yet. "Very well. If you'd like to set up an appointment for the three of you, feel free."

The three of them? Like a family session? Oh God, her stomach churned again. She had to get out before she lost her lunch all over Dr. Kline's plush carpet. "Thank you, I'll think about that."

***

Rennie was sitting in the pick-up line at her son's elementary school less than an hour later when one of the other moms approached her car.

"Hey, great party on Saturday, Rennie," Lily said, grinning. "Josh had a blast. Thanks so much for including him."

Rennie smiled at the heavily made up woman. She had bleached blond hair and always wore so much perfume it made Rennie's eyes water. On the first day of school, Lily had promptly shared her whole life story, including her husband leaving her for someone he worked with and how she'd gotten even by sleeping with her hot, young personal trainer. "My pleasure, Lily. I'm glad he had a good time." She turned down the radio while wishing she could turn the dial the other way and block out the woman's nasally voice. The sound grated on her nerves on a good day, and it definitely couldn't be classified as a good day.

"He wasn't the only one," she said, propping her hip against Rennie's freshly washed car.

"Really?" Rennie kept an eye on the small school's main doors, hoping her son would be out any minute to rescue her.

"Yeah, you didn't tell me Zach Foster would be there. I would have worn my pink bikini." She laughed, making Rennie frown. "Let's just say it shows off my assets a little better." She glanced at her fake breasts.

As if anyone could miss those, Rennie thought, rolling her eyes behind her dark shades.

"So how do you know Zach?" Lily asked.

Rennie was tempted to tell her they used to be engaged--just so she could see the look of envy on her face--but settled for a watered-down version of the truth instead. "We're working on a project together."

"Awww, that's nice." She whipped a compact out of her purse so she could apply another layer of pink lipstick. "One of your little kids wanted to meet him, huh?"

"Hmm mmm," Rennie said, watching Lily. She wondered whether Lily needed a butter knife to scrape that layer of makeup off at the end of the day.

"Well, I gave him my number," she said, licking her porcelain teeth to remove the shiny residue her lipstick left behind.

"Is that so?" Rennie curled her hand around the steering wheel. She had no right to be so furious. Surely Zach wasn't stupid enough to date the mother of one of his son's classmates. He may be new to the whole parenting thing, but didn't he know that was an unwritten rule?

"Yeah." She giggled like a school girl. "You think he'll call?"

Over my dead body, Rennie thought. "I don't know. Maybe." She breathed a sigh of relief when Tyler ran out of the main doors with Josh by his side. "It was nice talking to you, Lily, but we gotta go. We have baseball practice soon."

"No problem." She wiggled her acrylic fingernails. "I'll let you know if he calls."

"Don't hold your breath," Rennie muttered. She plastered on a smile when Tyler hopped in the backseat after tossing his backpack in the trunk.

"We don't have to bring Casey home today," Tyler said, putting on his seatbelt. "His mom picked him up early 'cause he had to go for allergy testing or something."

"I know, Karina told me." Rennie watched him in her rearview mirror. It struck her that he really was growing up. She didn't have to remind him anymore to do little things like put his seatbelt on or pick up his dirty clothes or brush his teeth before bed. Maybe she wasn't doing such a bad job parenting after all. Their frequent, and often heated, arguments made Rennie question herself on a daily basis. One thing was certain: she wouldn't trade her life with Tyler for any other.

"I'm so excited about the sleepover tomorrow night," he said, grinning.

He had a couple of missing teeth and another loose one on its way out. The apple he usually had as a bedtime snack should do the trick, Rennie thought. She didn't want Karina to have to worry about him losing the tooth at her place. Rennie suspected her son questioned the Santa and tooth fairy thing, but as long as he got cool stuff, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and be grateful.

"I bet Casey's excited too, huh?" Rennie checked her mirrors as she backed out of her parking spot.

"He sure is. We're gonna go through his tackle box. How come I can't go fishing, Mom?"

Rennie knew Casey's granddad took him to the lake almost every weekend, and Tyler was dying to try his hand at something new. Nathan had always talked about taking him, but with Tyler's commitment to baseball and Nathan's work, they never found the time. "I don't know, honey. I guess because we don't know anyone who enjoys fishing." That wasn't entirely true. Zach was an avid fisherman when baseball wasn't monopolizing his time... or at least he had been. Rennie had to remind herself that she couldn't assume he was the same person he'd been when they were together. She'd changed; she had to believe he had too.

"Is it true Zach likes to fish?" Tyler asked, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Where'd you hear that?" Rennie asked.

"I was watching some YouTube videos with him last night. One of the interviewers asked him about his hobbies. He said he liked to fish." Tyler quickly directed his attention out the window when his mother narrowed her eyes at him.

"You were watching videos instead of doing your homework?" Rennie felt a twinge of guilt. She should have been looking over his shoulder. Instead, she'd been finalizing the details for the fundraiser tomorrow night. That was just one of the many times she missed having a partner.

"Just for a little while." He sighed. "My science project is gonna be lame anyhow. I hate science."

Rennie took a deep breath as she stopped at a traffic light. Their house was only a few blocks from the school, but she had to stop at the grocery store. She tried to do that before she picked up Tyler. He liked to wander down the candy aisle even though he knew his diabetes prevented him from indulging in sugary treats. "Why do you think that?" Rennie turned into the grocery store parking lot. She eyed the little café on the corner, wondering if she had time for a quick pick-me-up.

"I don't know anything about the rainforest. They expect us to do a dio... diar..." He scrunched up his nose. "I don't know what it's called."

Rennie slid her tongue into her cheek. "Diorama?"

"Yeah, that's it," he said, snapping his fingers. "They expect me to put all this junk in a shoe box and paste pictures inside."

"What kind of junk?" Rennie asked, pulling into a parking spot.

"I don't know. Kiki already has hers done. She brought it in. She put rocks and little plastic animals and fake grass and stuff like that in there."

"Hmmm, we should be able to get that at the craft supply store," Rennie said, cutting the engine. "When is the project due?"

"Monday."

"Of course it is," she mumbled, reaching for the door handle. As if she didn't have enough to worry about.

"Can we get pizza for dinner?" Tyler asked, jumping out of the car.

"No." Rennie met him around the front of the car. Looking for traffic, she stepped forward. He wouldn't be caught dead holding her hand in public anymore.

"Why not?" he asked, flipping his sandy-blond hair out of his eyes. She'd wanted to take him to the salon last week, but he wanted to wait. Apparently longer bangs were "in." She was more concerned about him being able to see than making a fashion statement, but Rennie was smart enough to pick her battles.

"Because you'll probably have pizza tomorrow night at Casey's house." Overindulging in take-out food could impact his blood sugar levels. The diabetic specialist they saw four times a year had found the right dosage of insulin to control his condition, but they had to do their part by monitoring his diet carefully. "Besides, I'm making grilled chicken with spinach and mixed berry salad. You liked that, right?" She experimented with a lot of healthy recipes because she'd find half a dozen her son could live with, and before long, he'd tire of them and complain because he couldn't eat "junk food" like his friends.

"It was okay, I guess," he said, shrugging.

"You know, if you want to be an athlete, you have to eat healthy. Just ask Zach. I bet he eats plenty of fruits and veggies, lean protein, nuts, seeds," she listed the items she tried to ensure were staples in Tyler's diet. Zach had always preached the merits of eating clean. Except for an occasional beer at a party, he rarely consumed anything that wasn't good for him. He claimed it made him feel sluggish and hurt his performance in the gym and on the mound.

"You really think so?" Tyler asked, giving her a sidelong glance as he held the door open for her.

"I sure do." Rennie knew it wouldn't be long before Tyler could actually ask Zach. If Zach made good on his threat, it wouldn't be long before he demanded face time with his son.

# Chapter Nine

Kevin rolled his eyes as he opened the door for his brother. "Man, I can't believe it. A torn rotator cuff. How long are you gonna be out?"

"I don't know. We'll see what the doctors say when the tests come back, and then there's physical therapy. You know the drill."

Zach had sustained his injury during last night's game. In the bottom of the eighth inning, they were up by three runs. The last thing he'd wanted was to leave the game, but the coach insisted. Of course, he was right to demand it, since Zach was in excruciating pain, but Zach was an athlete. He wanted to win as a team or lose as a team, and seeing the relief pitcher jogging up to take his place was never a good thing, no matter the reason.

"It sucks to ride the bench now though," Kevin said, leading Zach into his family room. "You guys are finally having a decent season."

Zach knew he should be upset about it too, but he kept thinking about getting more time to get to know his son. Instead of traveling with the team, he would only be obligated to attend home games. He couldn't practice, so he would have more free time than he knew what to do with... except he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Summer vacation was right around the corner, and Tyler's mom worked full time.

"Yeah, but what are you gonna do, right?" Zach sank into the plush sectional and put his feet up on the upholstered ottoman. He'd come to his brother's for one reason, and it wasn't baseball. He needed advice from his brother, the lawyer.

"You looking at surgery?"

"They're trying to avoid it. The recovery time will be even longer if I have to go under the knife. It's only a partial tear, so I should be back in eight weeks or less if their treatment plan works."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Where's Trena and the kid?" he asked, referring to his nephew and sister-in-law.

"They went to the grocery store and to run a few other errands." He checked his watch and grinned. "That means I should have the house to myself for a whole hour. You wanna a beer?"

"No, I'm good, thanks." Zach was certain his parents hadn't shared his news with Kevin. He wanted to do the honors. "Have you heard that Rennie's back in town?"

Kevin glanced at the large screen TV in the corner. The volume was turned down, but sports scores ran across the bottom of the screen. "Uh, yeah, I think Mom or Dad may have mentioned it."

His brother was being evasive, which meant he felt guilty. "Why didn't you tell me?" Zach asked, eyeing him as he feigned interest in the sports highlights.

"I don't know." He reached for his beer bottle on the end table. "I heard she'd..."

"Married. Yeah, I know. But you must have also heard her husband died."

Kevin sighed as he faced his brother. "Man, I knew it would be a touchy subject. We all knew you'd never really gotten over Rennie. I thought you might go off the deep end when you heard she married someone else."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Unfortunately, his brother's fears were well-founded. He hadn't felt very stable when he spotted Rennie's wedding photo and the image of a son he'd believed she'd conceived with another man. "Did you know she had a kid?"

Kevin muttered a curse as he swiped a hand down his face. "No, I hadn't heard that. I'm sorry, Zach."

"Don't be sorry. The kid's mine."

Kevin's mouth fell open, and his beer bottle tipped. He caught it just before it spilled on the expensive taupe fabric. "What the hell are you talking about?" He set the bottle on the end table and leaned forward. "You can't be serious!"

"I'm dead serious." Zach gave his brother a moment to process the news. "He just turned ten. His name's Tyler."

"I don't believe this." Kevin bounded out of his seat. He paced, a tactic he often used when he was working through a difficult challenge. He claimed it helped him to think more clearly. "Are you sure the kid is yours? I mean, maybe that's why Rennie left, because she didn't know how to tell you that--" He stopped talking when he spotted his brother's warning scowl.

"This is Rennie we're talking about. She never would've cheated on me."

"Yeah, but who would've thought Ren had it in her to keep your kid from you? Man, that's just messed up. What the hell was she thinking?"

"She heard what I said to you at the club that night." Zach waited for his brother to run through the conversation in his mind. "I pocket dialed her. She heard the whole thing."

"Shit," Kevin said, grimacing. "No wonder she took off."

"Yeah, I guess she didn't feel she had a choice. She didn't want to saddle me with a kid I didn't want."

"I know what you said that night"--Kevin braced his hands on his hips as he faced his younger brother--"but is that really how you would've felt if you found out the woman you loved was gonna have your baby?"

Zach glanced at the family photos lining Kevin's mantle and cringed when he thought about all of the moments he'd missed out on with his own son. "I don't know how I would have reacted. I would've been shocked, that's for sure. Like I told you, we always used protection."

"Those things aren't a sure thing, you know that."

"I sure do now." Zach couldn't feel an ounce of remorse that the condom had been faulty. Ever since he'd learned he was a father, the only thing he'd felt since the initial shock subsided was excitement about getting to know Tyler.

"Rennie wasn't taking the pill?"

"Couldn't." They had assumed condoms would be enough, so they hadn't worried about taking additional measures. Perhaps they were young and naïve, or just so in love they couldn't keep their hands off each other long enough to consider the consequences of their actions. That hadn't changed. He was still as attracted to Rennie as he'd ever been. She turned him on in a way no other woman ever had--and it seemed she could barely stand to be in the same room with him.

"How'd you find out she had a kid... and that he's yours? She told you?"

Zach rolled his eyes. "Not exactly. Her son"--a smile spread across his face--"correction, our son, invited me to his tenth birthday party behind his mama's back."

"No way." Kevin grinned. "Rennie must have flipped out."

"Yeah, I don't think she was too happy to see me. She knew she'd been busted. Mom and Dad were there too."

"Wait a minute," Kevin said, raising his hand. "They knew and didn't tell me?"

"They just found out. I'm sure they figured I'd want to be the one to tell you."

"So, does the kid know you're his father?"

"No. Rennie said he's been through a lot this year, with his stepfather dying and all. She wanted to make sure he could handle it before she broke the news to him."

"That makes sense," Kevin said, nodding.

"But I don't wanna wait. I want him to know now." Zach looked his brother in the eye. "Does that make me a selfish bastard or what? Aren't parents supposed to put their kid's feelings above their own?"

Kevin smirked. "You're new to this whole parenting thing. Give yourself a break."

"I'm serious, Kev." Zach leaned forward. He rubbed his aching shoulder; he'd barely noticed the throbbing pain since he sat down. The only thing he could think about was his son. "Do you think I'm wrong to insist on telling him now? Should I let Ren take the lead and decide when he's ready?"

Kevin shrugged before shoving his hands into his pockets. "I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. Tyler's been through a lot, but finding out he has a father who's ready and willing to step in and fill the void may be exactly what he needs." Kevin frowned. "That is what you want, right? To be a part of his life?"

"What the hell do you think?" Zach glared at him. "He's my son. Of course I want to be a part of his life. I've already missed out on the first ten years of his life. I'd hate like hell to miss out on one more minute."

"Then you shouldn't have to. Tell Rennie you want to tell him and the sooner, the better."

"Yeah, you're right," Zach said, running his damp palm over the knee of his worn designer jeans. Just thinking about how Rennie would react made him break out in a sweat, but she'd been calling the shots for too long. He needed to start making some of the decisions where their son was concerned. "I'm gonna talk to her tonight."

"Good."

"Listen, I want to believe Rennie and I can work out a custody arrangement without things getting nasty, but--"

"I've got your back," Kevin said before he could finish. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

"Thanks, man. I appreciate that."

***

Rennie walked into High Rollers that night trying to quash the pit of dread in her stomach. She should be looking forward to a successful fundraiser, not afraid of what might happen with Zach. He wasn't a monster, and she knew he wasn't vindictive. He wasn't trying to hurt her by insisting they tell Tyler the truth. He just wanted a relationship with their son. If she stood to lose her own relationship with him in the process, that wasn't Zach's fault, was it?

"Hey, pretty lady," Jaxon said, taking her hands as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. He really was gorgeous, especially decked out in well-cut black dress pants and a black button-down shirt. Rennie was so busy looking for Zach she barely noticed.

"Hi, Jaxon. Thanks again for letting us host the event here. It was so generous of you." Rennie looked around. Her crew had been in earlier to decorate and post signs. She had to admit, the upscale sports bar looked ready to host a party to end all parties.

"My pleasure," he said, looking around. "The boys all rallied to come up with the goods for this thing. With our connections with the pro athletes in town, you have some serious merchandise to auction off tonight."

Her eyes drifted to the silent auction area. Terri had showed her the list of donated items earlier that day, and Rennie had been stunned. She was sure they would raise enough to buy Sheldon the dog he so desperately needed, and enough that he would be able to work with his therapist at least three times a week instead of one or two for the foreseeable future. Rennie smiled when she looked at the small crowd in the auction area. "I can't thank you guys enough. You have no idea how much this will mean to the Griffins. Speaking of Sheldon's parents, are they here yet?"

"No." He glanced at the door and grinned when he spotted his partner. "Zach, my man." He chuckled when Zach slapped him on the back with his good hand. "I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid of hurting you."

"Shut up," Zach said, his lips curling up. He avoided looking at Rennie as he surveyed the burgeoning crowd. "Looks like it's gonna be a good night, huh?"

Rennie's unease morphed as she picked up on Zach's tension. She couldn't decide whether he was upset because of his injury or her presence, so she decided to ask. "How are you feeling?"

"At the moment, doped up on pain meds," he said, barely sparing her a glance.

Jaxon laughed. "I guess I won't offer you a beer then." One of the waitresses beckoned him, and he nodded. "Excuse me, guys. I'll catch up with y'all in a bit."

"I was sorry to hear about your injury," Rennie said as her eyes traveled over his broad shoulders. He wore a charcoal-gray button-down shirt with decorative stitching in the same color. It was a slim fit, hugging his waist and powerful biceps. She didn't realize she was staring until he caught her. "I... uh... didn't catch the game, but Tyler told me what happened. Any idea how long you'll be out?"

"Nothing definite yet." He moved in closer when a waitress grabbed his waist, trying to get past him. "Maybe eight weeks."

"Hey, handsome," the pretty blonde whispered in his ear. "Nice to see you again."

Color rose in Zach's cheeks before his gaze landed on Rennie. He didn't respond to the waitress. He simply muttered to Rennie, "Sorry about that."

Rennie thought it odd he would apologize to her about another woman openly flirting with him in front of her. They weren't a couple anymore. She was the mother of his child, but that didn't give her a claim to him, did it? Her eyes followed the waitress, who put a little extra swing in her hips, no doubt for Zach's benefit. "No problem. You must get that all the time."

"I don't really notice anymore," he said, his voice low enough so only Rennie could hear him. He could have stepped back, but he stayed in her personal space. She could barely breathe. His cologne was subtle, but if the intent was to lure a woman in, it was working. "How've you been, Ren?" His hot breath fanned her hair.

"Okay." She didn't know what else to say. She was an emotional basket case, but she'd be a fool to tell him that. She was so afraid that her son would hate her when he learned the truth and would shut her out of his life in favor of building a new relationship with his dad.

"You look a little tired. Have you been sleeping all right?"

Rennie bit her lip, staring into his chest instead of those eyes that made it difficult to think straight. He was sending her mixed messages. He had seemed aloof, almost angry, but now he was... flirting with her? "Not really." She hoped he wouldn't see her admission as a sign of weakness.

"Me neither."

She found that hard to believe. Not only did he look well-rested, he looked even more gorgeous than the last time she'd seen him. He'd gotten a haircut, and his tailored dress pants hugged him just right. They looked as though they were made for him. They probably were.

"I guess we have a lot to work through, don't we?" she asked, finding the courage to mention the elephant in the room.

"We'll get through it together."

Rennie sucked in a breath. She hadn't felt like part of a team, especially when that team included Zach Foster, in a long time. "I appreciate that." She was glad Zach wasn't harboring anger about their situation. Animosity, no matter how well hidden, could only hurt Tyler.

"We're in this together, hon. As Tyler's parents, we both want what's best for him, right?"

Hon. He'd called her hon. Rennie tried to ignore the little flutter in her belly, but it wasn't easy. Zach, her first love, the father of her son, was finally ready to step up and be the kind of father she'd always dreamed he would want to be to Tyler. "Yeah, we do."

"I'm going to have a lot more time on my hands now, with the injury. Does Tyler have a game tomorrow night?"

He wanted to come to one of Tyler's baseball games? Of course he did. Duh. She could only imagine the frenzy at the ballpark when the other parents, not to mention the kids, caught sight of him. Sure, a few of them had met him at the birthday party, but... No, she didn't have a choice. She had to get used to it if Zach was going to be a part of Tyler's life. "He does. I'm sure he'd love it if you could be there."

He grinned, revealing straight white teeth that contrasted sharply with his dark tan. "That'd be awesome. Maybe we could grab a pizza after the game?"

"Um, I don't know..." His face fell, and Rennie regretted her hesitation. If he was willing to meet her halfway, the least she could do was the same. "It's just that he's having take-out tonight, and I don't like him to overdo it."

"You're not one of those moms are you?" he asked, chuckling.

She touched his forearm and pulled her hand back quickly, realizing it was a mistake to initiate physical contact with a man who still had the power to make her belly quiver. "Zach, Tyler has Juvenile Diabetes."

His face fell. "What?"

"It's okay," she said softy, touched by his concern. "He sees a diabetic specialist four times a year, and we have the condition under control with the right amount of insulin and a strict diet."

"My God," he said, stepping back as he swiped a hand over his face. "I had no idea."

"Why would you?" She could see how shaken he was by the news. "Tyler is just like every other kid. I've worked hard to make sure he understands that. This doesn't have to define him unless he lets it. He may not be able to eat candy and cookies like all the other kids, and he has to eat regularly so his blood sugar doesn't get too low, but--"

"I know," he said, holding up his hand. "I get it. My father was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes last year." A stricken look crossed his face. "Jesus, do you think that's why Tyler has it, Rennie? Is it hereditary? Is it my fault, did I--"

Rennie reached up on her tippy-toes to give him a hug. She was wearing black leather ballerina flats, so the height discrepancy was huge, but if she'd ever seen a man in need of a hug, it was Zach. "It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself."

He picked her up with his good arm, burying his face in her hair. "I'd never forgive myself if I hurt him. Promise me you'll help me with this, Ren. I really don't wanna screw up."

The way he held her reminded her of their celebratory hugs after a big tournament. His arm or shoulder was usually screaming in protest, but he would always pick her up with his good arm and hold her close while he whispered in her ear how much he loved her.

"I'll do whatever I can to make it easier for both of you," she said quietly, knowing that was the least she could do."

"Excuse me, Rennie."

Rennie blushed when she spotted the Griffins over Zach's shoulder. Oh God, what they must think of her being caught up in an intimate embrace with Zach Foster? She was supposed to be hosting their fundraiser. She squeezed Zach's bicep when he didn't seem in a hurry to put her down. He finally acquiesced, and Rennie ran a hand over her black blazer, refolding the rolled cuff. "Hey guys, it's great to see you." She hugged Manny Griffin, then his wife, Shelley. "How's Sheldon?"

"He's having one of his better days," Shelley said, smiling as she tried not to stare at Zach. "We were able to leave him with my parents tonight."

"That's nice," Rennie said. She gestured to Zach. "Shelley, Manny, I'd like you to meet my friend, Zach Foster. Zach, these are Sheldon's parents, the Griffins." Friend. The non-descript word couldn't explain a lifetime of history, but it was the only one that seemed appropriate under the circumstances.

"It's great to meet you," Zach said, smiling at the couple.

"Sorry about your injury," Manny said, gesturing to Zach's injured shoulder. "You think you'll be back in the game by the playoffs?"

"That's the hope, but it's too soon to tell," Zach said.

"It was so nice of you and your partners to offer to let us have the fundraiser here," Shelley said. "It's really lovely."

Shelley was right about that. High Rollers didn't look like any of the sports bars Rennie had ever been to. With muted neutral shades and lots of crystal and glass, it looked more like a high-end restaurant than a place where sports fans came together. They catered to a different clientele: professional athletes and successful business men. If the rumors were true, they hosted weekly high stakes poker games in the back, and the winner often walked away with a new sports car or vacation home.

"It's our pleasure." Zach looked around at the crowd. "We put the word out, and it looks like a lot of our buddies came together to support the cause, so we should have no problem exceeding the goal for tonight."

His buddies consisted of other professional athletes Rennie recognized from TV and a few well-dressed men she couldn't identify. The flashy jewelry and expensive clothes reminded her that Zach wasn't the same kid she'd fallen in love with, the boy hoping to play in the big leagues. He was running in circles she couldn't mix in, not that she would want to. Just because she was the mother of his child didn't mean they would ever have reason to socialize... except maybe with Tyler.

"I saw the list of auction items," Manny said, gesturing to the covered tables. Burly men with black security shirts were on either end of the display to keep an eye on the merchandise, and Rennie was grateful. She didn't want to see anything ruin the night for the Griffins. "Pretty impressive."

"Zach deserves a lot of the credit," Rennie said. "He and his friends really stepped up when they heard about what we wanted to do for Sheldon."

"We can't thank you enough." Manny offered Zach his hand. "We know how busy you must be, how many requests you must get to help kids like our boy..."

Zach smiled and shook Manny's hand. "Rennie and I go way back," he said, winking at her. "If she needs something, she knows she can always count on me."

That had been true once, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. Could she still count on Zach? Looking at him, she met his smile with one of her own. She hoped she could. In spite of the way their relationship had ended, she was beginning to like the new Zach.

# Chapter Ten

"Great party, don't you think?" Jaxon asked, leaning against the bar with a highball of scotch.

"Yeah, great." The more time Zach spent with Rennie, the more he realized their time apart had been a mistake. Taking his eyes off her was a struggle. He still had feelings for her. Even though he wasn't ready to define them, he knew he'd never felt that way about anyone else. He'd been angry with her, but countless hours on planes and in hotel rooms had given him a lot of time to think. He couldn't blame her for doing what she felt was best for the person she loved the most. Their son.

"Man, you're pathetic," Jaxon said, rolling his eyes. "Could you be any more obvious?"

"About what?"

The cute little waitress who'd made a play for him earlier squeezed in next to Zach. "Can I get you a drink, Zach?"

He pointed at his ginger ale. "I have to stick with the soft stuff tonight, Annie. The doctors put me on some serious pain meds." He'd only been taking half the recommended dose though. He hated the way that stuff made him feel, but he had to admit it took the edge off the pain.

"You don't need pills," Annie said, bumping his hip with her own. "You just need a good woman to take your mind off the pain."

Zach smirked. Annie was a shameless flirt, which was part of the reason they kept her around. She was a knock-out, and their regulars loved her. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Too bad he's already got somebody lined up, Annie," Jaxon said, grinning.

Zach narrowed his eyes, hoping his friend would get the message and shut his mouth. Until he and Rennie re-established their friendship and were back on solid ground, he didn't want to announce to anyone that he still had feelings for her.

"Who?" Annie asked, looking around.

"That hot little blonde talking to Andy."

"Hmm." Annie eyed Rennie up and down. "She doesn't look like your type, Zach."

Annie was right. Rennie was a natural beauty who didn't have to try to be stunning; she just was. "I don't have a type." Zach shot daggers at Jaxon when he threw his head back and laughed.

"Man, you've been going for the B-rated version of Rennie ever since she left your sorry ass at the altar."

Annie's hazel eyes widened as she looked at Zach. "You were engaged to her? And she left you... on your wedding day? I thought shit like that only happened in the movies."

"Yeah, me too," Zach muttered.

"You poor guy." Annie rubbed his back. "Trust me, she doesn't deserve a second chance."

"It's a long and complicated story." Zach wished he could give his friend a swift kick for bringing up the subject.

"Take it from someone who knows. If they hurt you once, they'll do it over and over. Take my ex Fab. He was all sweet and nice 'til he got what he wanted, then he was gone."

"I thought you two we're getting back together," Jaxon said, winking at Zach over the rim of his glass.

Jaxon knew Zach hated it when he insinuated himself into their employees' personal lives. If Zach's father had taught him one thing about running a business, it was that the owner drew the line between employees and friends. Of course, his father had also advised him against going into business with his five best friends. Since they were getting ready to open their fiftieth bar, he was confident he'd proven the old man wrong on that front.

"That's what I thought too," Annie said, rolling her eyes. "But he stood me up again. Can you believe that?"

"Guy's obviously an idiot." Jaxon grinned as he took a moment to appreciate her obvious assets. "Sounds like you're better off without him."

"I know, right?" She flicked her long blond hair over her shoulder. "Since this guy's already spoken for"--she inclined her head toward Zach--"you and I should hook up later."

Jaxon was in the midst of swallowing a mouthful of scotch, and Zach enjoyed watching his eyes water as he tried to refrain from spraying it all over the bar. They were all used to aggressive women who wanted a go-round with a rich guy, but their employees had always drawn the line at harmless flirting.

"Uh, I'm busy later," Jaxon said, smoothing a hand over the buttons lining his custom shirt. "Looks like that guy's trying to get your attention, Annie. Maybe you should see about taking his order. He looks like a big tipper." With a dramatic sigh, she spun on her heels, flattening her tray against her chest as she made her way through the crowd. "Man, what is it with some of these women? They think throwing themselves at a guy will turn him on?"

"Don't know," Zach said, lifting a shoulder. He didn't much care about women at large. His attention was fixed on one woman. The one who got away. He wouldn't let her make that mistake the second time around. His gut told him he and Rennie may have been too young before, but things were different. They were older and more mature. They shared a son; that had to count for something.

"So you and Rennie?" Jaxon propped his elbows on the bar and watched Zach's ex. "You decided what you're gonna do about the husband?"

"Don't be an ass," Zach said, insulted that his friend would even think he could stoop so low. "How'd you know she was married anyways?"

"She told me her last name is Alexander now. The gold band on her finger is a dead giveaway too."

"And of course you always look for that before you--"

"I do now," he said, laughing as they remembered the angry husband who came into the bar looking for Jaxon after his one-night stand with a woman who'd told him she was divorced.

"Yeah, well, Rennie's husband was killed in a fire last year."

"Jesus. That must have been rough on her."

"Yeah, I guess it was." Zach couldn't think about Rennie's husband without jealousy rearing its ugly head. He knew it wasn't fair, but he couldn't help the way he felt about the man who took his place in Rennie's life, and in Tyler's too.

"Zach, a year's not that long. Maybe you should think twice about getting mixed up with Rennie again. I'd hate for you to be her rebound guy."

"Her rebound guy?" Zach could barely suppress his laughter. "Are you serious? Rennie and I were a part of each other's lives for so long that--"

"Yeah, and then she moved on," Jaxon said quietly. "I know that's hard for you to accept, I'd feel the same way in your position, but that's the way it is. She found someone who could obviously give her something you couldn't."

"I don't need to hear that."

"Too bad. I'm your best friend, so it's my job to make you face reality whether you want to or not."

"You don't know the whole story." Jaxon didn't know about Tyler. The factor that changed everything. The bond that would always hold them together, that no one could break.

"Look, when a woman loses her husband like that, she romanticizes the way things were. She makes him out to be some hero when a lot of the time he was a big, fat zero."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience." Zach knew his friend was referring to his parents. His old man had killed himself when Jaxon was eleven. He'd been the one to find him hanging from a tree on their property, and it messed him up in ways Zach couldn't imagine. Jaxon was guarded and jaded about love and relationships. He refused to let anyone outside of his circle of friends get too close. Zach knew telling Jaxon the truth would be the only way to make him understand that he had good reason for wanting to get back what he and Rennie had. "We have a son."

"What did you say?"  Jaxon shook his head as though to clear it. "'Cause I could've sworn you just told me--"

"I did. We do."

"Oh my God. Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"When did you find out?" Jaxon asked.

"Just a few days ago."

"Why the hell didn't she tell you?"

Zach knew he would tell his friend the whole story over a beer one day, but that wasn't the time or place to get into it. "Let's just say she had her reasons."

"Jesus, the kid must be--"

"Ten. He just turned ten."

Jaxon ran a hand over his dark cropped hair, heedless of messing it up. "I can't believe this. How do you feel about it?"

Zach could only think of one word to describe how he felt. "Psyched."

Jaxon chuckled. "That doesn't surprise me. Your family's like the goddamn Cleavers. Why wouldn't you want a brood of your own, right?"

Zach couldn't miss the flash of pain in his friend's eyes. He wished he could tell Jaxon the past didn't have to dictate his future. Jaxon could find a woman who loved him, who made him want to be a stable parent who loved his kid and wife, but Zach knew he hadn't met the one yet. Until he did, he wouldn't entertain the possibility of a happy ending. "I didn't ask for this, but I'm not gonna lie--I can't wait to get to know Tyler."

"That's his name?" Jaxon smiled wistfully. "Tyler?"

"Yeah." Zach couldn't wipe off his silly grin when he thought about that kid. Getting to know his son would be the highlight of his life.

"Does he know about you?"

"We've met, but he doesn't know I'm his... dad." Zach could hardly wait to hear Tyler call him that. He wouldn't rush it, but when the day finally came, he knew he would feel ten feet tall.

"Sorry," Jaxon said, shaking his head, "it's just hard to believe. You and Rennie have a kid."

Outside of Kevin, only Jaxon knew how wrecked Zach had been after Rennie left. His family knew he was trying to track her down to get answers, but they didn't know about all the tears he shed when no one was looking. They didn't know the hole in his heart got bigger instead of mending. They didn't know every woman he'd made love to since she left only reminded him she'd taken more than his baby when she left. She took his will to love again. "Yeah, I know."

Zach watched Rennie cross the room. Some guy he didn't recognize grabbed her wrist as she walked past him, and Zach pushed away from the bar, ready to intervene if she was uncomfortable with the attention. Old habits may die hard, but it seemed his need to protect Rennie would never die.

"What the hell?" Jaxon asked when he spotted the murderous look on Zach's face. "Oh no, don't even think about going over there. You can't rescue her from every guy who shows an interest in her. Face it, she's even hotter now than she was in high school. If y'all are gonna be a couple, you'll have to get used to guys coming on to her."

"Yeah, well, if you recall, I don't do too well with that," Zach said.

Watching Rennie chat up some stranger made him want to go over there and... Do what? Make a damn fool of yourself by trying to lay claim to a woman who hasn't shared your bed in more than a decade? Rennie was a single woman, and he had to deal with that... at least until he could figure out a way to remind her that being a couple was a hell of a lot more fun.

# Chapter Eleven

Rennie recognized that look in Zach's eye. She'd seen it dozens of times. He was jealous because she was talking to some other guy. Someone was showing an interest in her, and he couldn't stand it. Well it may have been her job to soothe his ego once, but the rules of the game had changed. She intended to make sure he understood that she could talk or dance with anyone she chose. Just because she was the mother of his son didn't mean he had the right to decide how she lived her life. The sooner he realized that, the better.

"I'd love to dance," Rennie said in response to her companion's question. "Let's go." She slipped her arm through his. The D.J. chose that moment to slow things down, and Rennie had no doubt his boss would have a thing or two to say about his timing later. She was determined to enjoy the moment. She hadn't danced since... No, she wouldn't allow the past to steal the moment of harmless diversion.

Dancing with him was easy. He was slight, which meant she could wrap her arms around him easily. He wasn't too tall, so she didn't have to strain her neck to look up at him. It should have been a welcome change, but it reminded her of her brief moment in Zach's arms earlier. He'd always made her feel so safe and protected...

"So, what do you do, Rowen?"

"I'm an accountant," he said, tightening his grip on her waist.

"That's nice."

Rowen didn't look like an accountant. She may not have spotted him from across the room, but she knew better than to think looks were the be all, end all. Sometimes being too good-looking was a bad thing. She only had to steal a glance over her shoulder to remember why. Women had been approaching Zach all evening, and while he hadn't seemed particularly interested in their advances, she was reminded how much it had bothered her when they were a couple.

"How about you? What do you do, Rennie?"

His breath smelled of stale beer. She discreetly turned her head. "I run a charitable organization."

"That must be rewarding."

"It is." Oh no. His hand drifted down her back. An inch lower and he would be venturing into unwelcome territory.

"I couldn't help but notice the wedding band. You're married?"

That didn't seem to stop his hand from venturing even farther. That was why she refused to date. One minute a guy was charming, and the next he was grabbing at her as if he had the right. "I'm--"

"With me." Zach's voice made the hair on the back of Rennie's neck stand up. He was pissed.

"Holy shit, you're Zach Foster!" Rowen shouted, making other people on the dance floor stare. A few of them chuckled and whispered to each other.

Rennie closed her eyes as humiliation made her cheeks burn. You sure know how to pick 'em, Alexander. She wished she could beat a hasty retreat to the door while all eyes were fixed on Zach. She stepped back and ran into the solid wall of Zach's chest. His hand closed over her hip as her heartbeat kicked up a notch.

"Get lost," Zach muttered, turning Rennie into his arms.

She waited until Rowen made himself scarce. "You had no right to do that."

"He had no right to touch you like that."

Zach was right, but it wasn't his place to rescue her. She was perfectly capable of telling a jerk to back off, only he hadn't given her the chance. "I see you haven't changed a bit." She couldn't keep the bite out of her voice. She hadn't appreciated Zach's jealousy ten years ago, and she appreciated it even less now.

"I've changed a hell of a lot," he said, the muscle in his jaw flexing as his eyes bored into her. "But one thing will never change. I don't want to see another guy's hands on you. Period."

Rennie sucked in a sharp breath, unsure of how to respond. Zach had always been intense, but he seemed almost... desperate. Why? Did he want to prove that they still had a connection? That much was obvious. Her heart battered her chest every time he got within a few feet of her. That didn't mean they had to act on it. They couldn't. Not ever. They were parents, and they had to put Tyler first. Sex would only complicate a situation that was already complicated enough.

He took a deep breath, obviously trying to get his temper under control. "I'm sorry if I overstepped, but from where I was standing, it looked like you could use some help."

"I was fine. He was harmless." She was grateful he'd intervened, but if she admitted as much, he would feel he had the right to intercede again. She felt awkward. She was too short to loop her arms around his neck, and she didn't want to touch his sore shoulder. Cutting the dance short would be best, but the temptation to melt into arms was tough to ignore, especially when the D.J. played "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. She'd always loved that song. It made her think of Zach. Even if she'd known how things would turn out for them, she wouldn't have passed on the opportunity to know him for anything. He gave her the best thing that ever happened to her, and for Tyler, she would always be grateful.

Zach chuckled as though he could sense her discomfort. Taking her hands, he placed one on his bicep and cradled the other in his hand, over his heart. Rennie wasn't surprised his heart was pounding as fiercely as hers. It had been a long time since they'd been close, intimate. She tipped her head up, wondering if she would be able to read his thoughts in his eyes. Oh no. He was thinking about kissing her. She saw it in the way his eyes kept drifting to her mouth then back to her eyes, as though he was waiting for her permission.

As much as the pulsating in her body pleaded with her to give in, she couldn't. He was Zach, not some random guy she'd met in a bar. One kiss would lead to another and another. The night would end in her bed, and she would have to explain why he couldn't stay, why they could never tell their son they'd shared a moment of weakness that could never lead to more.

He lowered his head, brushing his warm lips over her cheek. "You remember."

She didn't have to ask what he was talking about. How could she forget making love to Zach? He'd been her first, one of her only two lovers. He taught her what it meant to love with everything she had. He was also the one who taught her how much it hurt to lose everything. "I can't."

"Do you ever think about what it was like?"

His breath felt moist and tickled her ear. Not tilting her neck so he could drop kisses in the secret spot she knew he remembered took all of her restraint. "No."

His hand drifted lower, cradling her spine, and she felt every inch of his rock hard body. "You're lying."

He could always read her so easily, as though he had a direct line to the thoughts chasing each other through her head. It wasn't fair, but if Nathan's death taught her one thing, it was that life wasn't always fair. She was almost afraid to invite him to continue, but the masochistic part of her who'd agreed to dance with him needed to know. "How do you know that?"

"You don't love someone for as long as you loved me, walk out of his life carrying his baby, and forget he exists."

He was right, of course. She thought of Zach every day. Every time Tyler looked at her with those big brown eyes so much like his dad's, her heart softened a little. She couldn't hold on to her bitterness toward Zach any longer. To resent him would harm their innocent child, and she couldn't do that to Tyler. "You're right. No matter how much I might have wanted to, I could never have forgotten what we shared." She met his eyes when he set a finger under her chin, tipping her face up.

"I'm glad." His eyes rested on her mouth a beat too long, but he finally tore his attention away. "Where do you guys live?"

It seemed surreal he didn't know where she lived when he seemed to know every little nuance about her. "A few blocks from my parents. When I came back, I knew I wanted to raise Tyler in the old neighborhood." She smiled.

He grinned. "It's still a great place to raise a family."

A family. Her heart hurt a little more than it should have hearing him say that word. She and Tyler were already a family, but she remembered the family she'd hoped to have with Zach one day. Three kids, that's what they'd said they wanted... and a dog. She wanted a little one, he wanted a big one, so they'd laughingly compromised on one of each.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked, his voice raw as though he shared her thoughts.

"Nothing," she said, dipping her head.

"Don't do that. Don't shut me out."

"Fine." She looked up at him, letting him see the hurt and annoyance in her eyes. She didn't want to seem angry or weak. Since he'd forced it out of her, she would let him know exactly how she felt. "I was wondering whether you ever meant any of the things you said to me."

"What're you talking about?" he asked, stepping back when the song ended and new bodies crowded the dance floor. "I meant everything I ever said to you."

It was time for her to leave. The Griffins had called it a night almost an hour ago. She needed to do the same. She had to put some distance between herself and her past. She could ask Terri to tally the total tomorrow. "I have to go." She was halfway to the door before she realized he was following her. "Go away."

"I'm walking you to your car whether you like it or not. It's dark, and drunk guys are eyeing you up and down. I'm not gonna take a chance on one of them following you."

Damn him. Why did he have to remind her that, despite his faults, he had a sweet, considerate side that made her recall things she needed to forget? "I'll be fine. You have bouncers at the door."

"I don't care. I'm walking you to your car."

She knew it was pointless to argue with him when he'd made up his mind. Trying to put a little distance between them, she walked as fast as she could. His long legs made a mockery of her attempt. He fell into step beside her as soon as they reached the sidewalk.

"Did you have anything to drink tonight?" he asked, reaching for her keys. Releasing the key ring, she silently cursed and wished he would take a hint already. What did he intend to do, buckle her in too? He pressed the button and walked toward her Volvo when the lights flashed. "You didn't answer my question."

"I had one glass of wine when I arrived. Nothing since."

"Did you have anything to eat?" He held her keys just out of reach.

Sighing, she said, "I had several appetizers. Are you satisfied?" She held out her hand, expecting him to drop her keys into her palm.

"I should have made sure you had dinner." He reluctantly handed her the keys.

"It's not your job to take care of me anymore, Zach." He'd always been her protector, but he needed to know where they stood. It may be his job to look after their son, but she was on her own, and that's the way she wanted it.

"What if I want to?" he said quietly. "What if I want to take care of you and our son?"

Pretending she'd never learned the truth about him that night was so tempting. She could allow herself to believe, even for a moment, that she could take everything he said at face value, but experience had taught her she would be a fool to make the same mistake twice. "That option isn't on the table. Tyler is your son, and I won't prevent you from having a relationship with him if that's what you both want, but having a relationship with me isn't an option. We can co-parent our son. That's where it ends." That's where it had to end.

"Tell me what you were thinking back there." He brushed a strand of hair off her face when the breeze blew it across her cheek. "Please, I need to hear you say it."

She knew it would be a mistake to talk about their past. Since he seemed so determined to hear the truth, she said, "I was thinking about the life we'd planned, wondering whether you ever meant any of it." She tipped her head to the side, watching him closely. "Or were you just telling me what I wanted to hear?"

"No." He stepped in closer when a truck drove past. "I wanted all of the things I said I did with you, Ren."

She swallowed hard when he took another step closer, backing her into the car. She had to get out of there before she did something stupid--like kiss him.

"I wanted the house with a pool near a good school..."

God, how could he reminisce about every little detail of the life he'd told his brother he didn't want? It hurt so much to remember, yet he made it impossible to forget. "Don't do this."

He continued as though he hadn't heard her soft plea. "The dogs..." His lips tipped up at the corners. "A Retriever and a--"

"Miniature poodle." She surrendered to a smile when he rolled his eyes. He'd always disliked the breed, claiming they were yappy. He finally agreed to let her have one as long as she promised not to give it one of those haircuts.

"Did you ever get Tyler a dog?" he asked.

"No." A breeze lifted the hair off his forehead, and she saw the small scar he'd gotten in a car accident the year he turned nineteen. He was so familiar. She had to remind herself he wasn't her best friend anymore. He'd stopped being that guy the night she learned he'd just been pretending to want the life she did.

"Why not?"

"We talked about it, but it never seemed like the right time." She regretted the reference to her husband as soon as he looked tortured. She wasn't trying to rub his face in the fact that she'd had a happy marriage with someone else, but she wouldn't dishonor Nathan's memory by pretending he hadn't existed either.

"Why not now?" He was obviously trying to pretend he wasn't reeling from the name she'd never actually said. "He's getting older. I think he could handle the responsibility."

She wanted to say he had no idea what Tyler could or couldn't handle. Zach didn't even know him. Stating the obvious seemed cruel though, especially when she was partially to blame that they'd never had the chance to bond. "I guess I'm not ready."

"Every kid should have a dog, especially an only child."

Rennie didn't respond. The last thing she wanted was to argue about whether it was the right time to add a pet to the mix. "We'll see."

"Did you ever think about"--he set his hand on the car behind her, holding her captive--"having another baby? With him?"

Was he serious? If she didn't want to talk about a dog, she certainly didn't want to talk about whether she and her late husband ever considered having a baby. "I have to go." She hoped he would step back. Of course, he didn't. "I'm not going to answer that question, so you can forget it."

"Too personal?" His eyes burned into hers, almost as though he sought to punish her thinking about expanding her family with someone else. "There was a time when nothing was off limits with us. Remember that?"

"I thought that too. Obviously I was wrong." She tried to cross her arms, but he wouldn't give her enough room to move. "If we'd been able to talk about anything, you would have told me the truth about how you felt instead of letting me find out the way I did."

"Damn it, are you ever gonna forgive me for being a dumbass kid who didn't know a good thing when he had it?"

Shocked by his fierceness, her anxiety had her breathing heavier. Zach would never hurt her--physically, at least--but she sensed he was determined to unearth the past until he'd buried her in it. "This isn't about forgiveness. It's about letting go. We have to let go for our son's sake."

He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her close. His lips hovered over hers just long enough for her to push him away. Since her brain wasn't firing on all cylinders, she fisted his shirt in her hands and pulled him closer instead. Closing her eyes and hitting the mental rewind button, pretending it was like any of the other kisses they'd shared, was so easy. Hot, mind-numbing, and a prelude to a foray that would end in his bedroom with the two of them tangled up in damp, wrinkled sheets. But she couldn't erase the past ten years. Her life was different, and one lousy kiss didn't change anything. Okay, it was one incredible kiss... a kiss that made her want to wrap her legs around his waist and hold on as though her life depended on it. She wanted to explore his demanding mouth and the hard planes of his chest the way she had in her dreams ever since he walked back in to her life.

"God..." he whispered. He was breathing heavily, his hand fisted in her hair and his eyes glazed. "You can't deny we're as hot for each other as we ever were."

She couldn't deny it, but she didn't have to give in to it. "I have to go. I have work tomorrow."

He stepped back reluctantly, tucking his shirt back into his pants with one hand. Rennie blushed. She'd done that; she'd pulled his shirt free when they kissed. That's how desperate she'd been to feel his abs, to satisfy herself they were still impossibly defined. They were. Damn him. He was too perfect, too... everything.

"Can I still come to Tyler's game tomorrow?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

One lapse in judgement didn't mean she had the right to renege on their agreement, no matter how much she might want to. "Sure."

"Great." He smiled before wiping his mouth.

His lips were slick from her lip gloss, and she couldn't supress the wish he'd gone inside like that, so all of the women who'd been throwing themselves at him would know he was taken. No! He wasn't taken. She couldn't let herself go there. "I'll text you the details tomorrow."

"Sounds good. I'll make reservations at my buddy's steakhouse. They have lots of healthy options on the menu." He frowned. "Will Tyler be okay with a later dinner if he has a snack before the game?"

Her heart melted a little. He was concerned about her son. No, he was concerned about his son. She had to remind herself he was Tyler's father and she had to learn to step aside so they could form their own relationship. "That's fine." She forced a smile before reaching for the door handle. "Thanks for everything you did tonight. It meant so much to the Griffins. They're good people. They deserved a break."

"I'm glad I could help."

She believed him. Zach has never been self-centered. He was always the first one to help a friend in need. That was one of the reasons she'd fallen in love with him. If she wasn't careful, she'd be at risk of it happening again. When she got inside the car, he gestured for her to roll down the window. She turned on the car and lowered the window. "What is it?"

"You know I'll be dreaming about you tonight, don't you?"

"Zach--"

"Do you know how many times you've snuck into my dreams over the years?" He leaned over, wincing when he braced both hands on his knees. He hadn't complained about his shoulder all night, but she was pretty sure the pain medication must be wearing off. Still, she didn't insist he go inside and take another pill. She waited, holding her breath, wishing he would pick up where he'd left off, yet hoping he would leave before he said something that would keep them both awake. "Too many, Ren. Too damn many."

She wanted to reach out to him because that's the way it had always been between them. She couldn't be in his presence without wanting to touch him. Finally having her hands on him again had awakened feelings she'd suppressed for the better part of a decade.

"You were every blonde in a crowd, every sweet laugh ringing out over all the others, every pair of baby blue eyes that sucker punched me in the gut."

Tears gathered in her eyes because, although she'd never admit it, she knew exactly how he felt. He'd lived in her memory too. As much as she'd loved her husband, a part of her had always belonged to Zach. "I should go." She couldn't let him continue. If she did, there was no telling where they might end up that night.

"Right." He straightened, looking her in the eye.

She knew he saw her tears, but if she blinked, they would fall. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

"I can't wait."

God help her, neither could she.

# Chapter Twelve

"I still can't believe Zach is coming to my game," Tyler said, punching his fist into his baseball glove. "That's so cool. All the other guys are gonna be so jealous."

Rennie gave her son the evil eye in the rearview mirror. "He's not coming to make your teammates jealous. He's coming to see you play because you practically begged him to, remember?"

"You don't think he's comin' just 'cause he feels like he's gotta, do you?"

Tempted to correct him, Rennie decided to let it slide. She had enough to worry about--like how she was going to keep her mind on the game and off Zach's rock hard thigh pressed against hers. "No, he's coming because he wants to." That much she was sure of. He'd responded to her text almost immediately, telling her he couldn't wait to see both of them.

"And he's really gonna take us out for dinner after the game?" Tyler was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her son show so much enthusiasm about anything. Seeing that sparkle back in his eye was nice, even if she knew the worst was still to come. How would he react when they told him that Zach was his father and that Rennie had kept both of them in the dark? Would her baby hate her? Would he want to cut her out of his life, begging to move in with Zach or his grandparents? Of course, she would never let that happen, but just considering the possibility cut her to the core. "He sure is." She smiled. "Apparently a friend of his owns a steakhouse nearby. He thought you might like that."

Tyler wrinkled his nose. "I'd rather have pizza instead."

She shook her head. "Didn't you have pizza last night?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So tonight you'll have steak or chicken or even salmon, with salad. You want Dr. Simmons to be pleased with your blood sugar and test results, don't you?"

Tyler heaved a sigh, staring out the window with a grimace. "I guess."

She knew diabetes wasn't easy for her son, but it was the hand life had dealt him. Rather than offer pity or sympathy, she chose to remind him things could be much worse. At least they could control his diabetes with diet, exercise, and insulin. Not all sick children were so lucky.

Rennie turned into the parking lot, and her eyes zeroed in on him right away. Zach was in the midst of a crowd of excited boys obviously begging for his autograph and stories about baseball. She noted he was signing with his right hand, and she wondered how his injured shoulder was. He'd mentioned he saw the doctors earlier and had a physical therapy appointment. She hoped the news was good.

Tyler was out of the car and running toward the small group before Rennie had even put the car in park. The kids weren't the only ones excited to see Zach. Lily was standing at Zach's side. She was talking, and he appeared to be listening, but Rennie couldn't tell from a distance whether he was enthralled. She shouldn't be bothered by other women making a play for Zach. It's not like she had a claim to him or even wanted one. Their kiss meant nothing. It was a moment of weakness. If she could convince herself of that, she must be getting better at lying. Zach was wearing dark shades, but she still felt his eyes on her when she approached. The thrill bumps rising all over her arms gave him away.

"Hey there," he said, grinning. "Nice to see you."

It was a casual greeting, one he might bestow upon a business associate or acquaintance, but the way he said it, low and intimate, let her know he meant it. "It's good to see you too, Zach."

Rennie tried hard to ignore Lily, but she was shooting daggers at Rennie through her fake eyelashes. Apparently her son had spread the word to his teammates that Zach would be there because Lily was decked out in her tightest jeans, tiniest tank top, and highest heels. Unless Rennie missed her guess, the other divorced moms would be sporting a similar uniform. Didn't they know Zach was so much more than his pitching arm, good looks, big fat contract, and celebrity status? He was kind and sweet and... If she didn't stop, she was going to talk herself into falling in love with him again. She couldn't let that happen.

"Hey, guys," Zach said, knocking the peak of Tyler's hat down with his left hand. "You should catch up with your coach. The game's gonna start soon."

There was a chorus of groans, but the group eventually broke apart and walked toward the baseball diamond.

Walking backward, Tyler said, "Thanks a lot for coming, Zach."

"My pleasure, kid." He smiled. "Now get out there and show me what you got."

Tyler gave him two thumbs up before he sprinted toward his teammates to join the huddle.

"He's such a great kid, Ren," Zach said, smiling at her.

They shared a moment as a mix of regret and pride charged the air between them. They had created that awesome kid, and even though Zach hadn't been a part of Tyler's life growing up, her son was becoming more and more like his dad every day. She saw it in his mannerisms, his laugh, and that intense look in his eye right before he released the ball. No doubt about it, Tyler was the best of both of them. Rennie couldn't be any more proud of him.

"Well, I guess I should get out there," Lily said, interrupting their moment. "Should I save you a seat, Zach?"

"Uh no, that's okay. Thanks for the offer though."

Rennie could barely contain her smile when Lily's expression fell. "I need to have a quick word with Zach before the game, Lily. You don't mind, do you?"

She looked between them as though she wanted to object but couldn't find a good reason. "Sure, I guess I'll see you later." She hesitated as though she was waiting for Zach to say something more. When he didn't, she walked slowly toward the stands.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" Zach asked, sliding his glasses up on his head.

She would have preferred he keep them on. His eyes reminded her of melted chocolate. That made her think of the time he'd drizzled it all over her body and licked it off. She barely suppressed the urge to fan herself. "I hope you don't think I'm out of line for saying this, but--"

"You can say anything to me. You know that."

Uh oh, he was getting closer, invading her personal space. The last time he'd done that, she wound up plastered against her car with her hands fisted in his hair and her mouth exploring his. She certainly couldn't let that happen there... in front of their son. "I just, uh, wanted to talk to you about..."

He slipped her sunglasses up on her head with a smile. "I want to see your beautiful eyes."

"Why?" she asked, feeling a little breathless when his knuckles skimmed her cheek.

"'Cause I can always tell exactly what you're thinking by looking in your eyes."

"Really?" She licked her lips. They felt dry even though she'd just applied raspberry lip gloss. "What am I thinking right now?"

"You're thinking about the kiss we shared last night," he said, inching closer.

"Zach, we can't do this here," she said, hearing the desperation in her voice. She was so weak where he was concerned. Her body ignored her brain's emphatic message every time he was within touching distance.

"I know that," he whispered. "We can't go public until we tell Tyler the truth. Which will be when?" She knew he would press her about that, but at the moment, she was more concerned about what he meant by going public. Before she could ask, he said, "It looks like the game's about to start. We can talk about this later, at your place."

"At my place?" she asked. Her voice sounded squeaky. "Who says I'm planning to invite you back to my place?"

"We'll be spending the whole evening with Tyler. We won't be able to say much in front of him, and you can't deny we have a lot of things to decide, Rennie."

He was right, of course. She scratched her palm, and he looked at her, grinning. "What's so funny?"

"I want to hold your hand too."

How did he know that's what she was thinking? "What makes you think that's what I was thinking?"

He laughed. "You forget how well I know you, lady. We may not have been together for the last ten years, but you haven't changed all that much."

Neither had he. They could probably still finish each other's sentences. That was sad, alarming, and comforting all at the same time. "Wait," she said, reaching for his hand. "You made me forget what I wanted to say. It's kind of important." She immediately withdrew her hand when she saw him wince. "God, I'm sorry. Is it your shoulder? Did I hurt you?"

He chuckled. "Relax, I'm fine. What did you want to talk to me about it?"

She would rather grind broken glass into her palm than ask, but she had to set her pride aside for her son's sake. "Are you interested in Lily?"

"Who?" he asked, frowning.

"Lily--that woman you were just talking to." It put her mind at ease that he didn't even seem to remember her name.

"You can't be serious," he said, rolling his eyes.

"She said she gave you her number at the birthday party."

"She did, and I threw it in the trash as soon as she turned her back." He seared her with the intensity of his gaze. He may not be touching her, but with the way his eyes were sweeping over her face, he might as well have been. It had the same effect as an intimate embrace. "Don't you know you're the only woman I'm interested in?"

Rennie's lips parted, and she knew she was subconsciously begging him to seal his question with a kiss. What was wrong with her? He was Zach. The father of her child. The man who broke her heart. "You can't. I mean, we can't--"

"Talk about this here. I know."

He knew damn well that wasn't what she was going to say, but he'd effectively shut her down just the same. "Zach, I'm serious."

"So am I," he said. "This isn't a game to me. This is my life, and I want you and our son to be the most important part."

***

Zach knew he'd said too much. Rennie had been unnaturally quiet since his big proclamation. What the hell had he been thinking? He'd promised himself he would take it slow, get to know her again, let her get to know him, while he built a relationship with his son. He wanted her to see that he was ready to be a father, that he wanted to make up for all the years he'd lost with Tyler. He knew he couldn't rush her into something she wasn't ready for. She'd been alone with Tyler for a while now, and it would take both of them a long time to trust a man who'd already let them down once.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," he said quietly as they watched Tyler jog off the mound. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have," she said, twisting her narrow gold band.

"Why do you still wear that?" he asked. He was probably crossing another line by asking her about the husband she'd lost.

"On the day I married Nathan, I promised him I'd never take it off." She looked at the simple ring. "The least I can do is keep that promise."

Her statement made Zach wonder if she harbored some guilt about her late husband, but he shouldn't ask. Of course, that didn't stop him. "You still feel you owe him something?"

Rennie bit her lip. "I..." Her eyes fell on the family a few rows ahead of them. Two parents with a son just a little younger than Tyler. "I don't think I was the wife I should have been. I loved Nathan, but..."

Zach knew they were far enough away from the other parents that no one would be able to overhear their conversation, and he really needed to know more about the man who'd taken his place in Rennie's life. "But what, Ren?"

"Sometimes I think he knew," she said, sliding her hands under her thighs.

"Knew what?"

"That I'd never really gotten over you."

Wow.  He hadn't seen that one coming. It was difficult not to smile. He wanted to jump up and pump his fist in the air. "Really?"

"Nathan and Tyler loved baseball," she said quietly, watching the players jog back onto the field. "They used to watch games together all the time. I'd watch too, but never when you were playing. He asked me if it was because I still had feelings for you."

"What did you tell him?"

Rennie stared at some point beyond the first baseman. "I told him I didn't want to, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I hated myself for hurting him, but we'd promised we'd never lie to each other. Given what happened between you and I, that was kind of a deal breaker for me. Nathan knew that."

"Where did you go from there?" Zach wanted to believe if his wife had told him she still had feelings for her ex, he would have let her go. If the woman in question was Rennie, he couldn't be sure. He may hold on to her by any means necessary because after living without her for a decade, he knew that having even part of her was better than being alone with his memories.

"He asked me if I wanted to come back to Texas, to tell you about Tyler."

"What did you say?"

"I told him I needed to think about what I wanted to do. We had that conversation the day before he died."

He put his arm around her. He didn't care who saw them or what they thought. The woman he loved was in pain, and he would do anything he could to comfort her.

"He wasn't himself at breakfast that morning," she said, lowering her head. "He seemed distracted. I knew he was thinking about what I was going to do." She put her feet up on the empty bench in front of them. "Maybe he was distracted on the job. Maybe it was my fault--"

"Sssh," Zach said, resting her head against his good shoulder. "Don't say that. Nathan was a professional. He wouldn't have brought his personal problems into a situation like that."

"But what if that's what he wanted?" she asked, looking up at Zach with tears in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" The scars surrounding her husband's death obviously went deeper than he'd suspected, and it tore him up that she blamed herself for something she had no control over.

"He told me so many times that Tyler and I were his life. He said he didn't know where he'd be without us, that if he ever lost us..." She shuddered, and Zach tightened his grip, knowing her impulse would be to pull away. "Maybe that's what he was thinking about when he walked into that fire."

"Rennie, your husband wasn't on a suicide mission. He was just doing his job." Zach couldn't imagine living with those tortured thoughts every day. It was no wonder she refused to take off his ring. "You have to let this go."

"I know," she said, inching away from him. Squaring her shoulders, she sat up straighter. "That's what my therapist said. I'm trying. It's just going to take some time."

They watched the rest of the game in silence. Zach knew she needed time with her thoughts of Nathan and he couldn't say anything more to ease her pain. He'd told her she hadn't changed, but he was wrong. She wasn't the same woman he'd fallen in love with years ago. She was living with the torment of believing she'd played a part in her husband's death, of fighting her feelings for a man who'd betrayed her, of her fear of losing her son. No one could withstand that kind of turmoil and come out on the other side unscathed.

Tyler jogged toward them at the end of the game with a huge smile. They'd won 4-2, and he'd pitched a solid game. "What'd you think, Zach?"

"I thought you were awesome, kid." Zach meant it. He saw similarities between Tyler and himself at that age. They had the same fire in their bellies. Paired with Tyler's natural talent and the right coaching, he could go all the way. His old man's connections wouldn't hurt either.

"Thanks." He grinned when Zach slipped his arm around his shoulder. "I'm starving. Can we go to dinner now?"

"You should change and grab a quick shower first," Rennie said. "I have an apple and some crackers in the car. That should tide you over until we get to the restaurant."

"I have my clothes from yesterday," Tyler said. "Couldn't I just wear that to the restaurant? It's not dirty or anything."

Rennie and Zach shared a smile before she said, "Where do you plan to change?"

"My place isn't too far," Zach said. "We could--"

"Yeah!" Tyler said before Zach could finish his thought. "Could we go back to Zach's place, Mom? Please?"

"If you're sure you don't mind?" Rennie asked.

"Of course not." Zach couldn't wait to share his home with them. If all went as he hoped, one day they would never want to leave.

"Can I ride with Zach?" Tyler asked, looking hopeful.

Zach was driving the yellow Ferrari again since he was hoping to give Tyler that ride he'd promised him. "I sorta promised him a ride at his birthday party," Zach explained to Rennie. "You don't mind, do you?"

Rennie looked at the car as though she was gauging its safety. "Promise you won't go over the speed limit?"

"I promise," he said, tongue in cheek. "I know you'll be right behind us, watching every move I make. I wouldn't dare step out of line."

She pressed her lips together. "I seem to recall speeding was a way of life for you, Foster. Remember how many speeding tickets you got in--" She stopped herself and looked down at Tyler with a fake smile. "You know, I'm pretty hungry too. We should--"

"You guys used to know each other?" Tyler asked, looking up at Zach for confirmation.

They'd let him believe they just met when Rennie contacted him about her applicant's wish. Of course, Tyler would find out the truth soon enough, but Zach knew a parking lot wasn't the right place to have that conversation. "Your mom and I grew up in the same small town. Why are you so surprised we knew each other back in the day?" Zach didn't want to lie to Tyler, but he didn't want to say more than he should and upset Rennie either.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tyler asked as he watched his mother carefully. "I talked about Zach all the time. Why didn't you tell me you guys were friends?"

"I... uh..." Rennie looked at Zach helplessly.

Zach laughed and put Tyler in a headlock with his good arm. "Man, you ask a lot of questions. You sure you wouldn't rather be a lawyer when you grow up?"

"No way!" Tyler laughed as he tried to get Zach to loosen his grip. "I wanna be a pitcher just like you."

"Just like me, huh?" Zach said, unable to ignore the fact his heart seemed to swell at the innocent comment. His son wanted to be just like him. "Well, if you want to be just like me, you have to get used to eating like an athlete." Zach knew it might help if Tyler believed he was choosing to eat well instead of being forced into it.

"How do athletes eat?" Tyler asked, stopping near the passenger's door of Zach's car.

"Lots of lean protein, veggies, grains, fruit, a bit of dairy, and we drink a ton of water to stay hydrated." He caught Rennie's smile out of the corner of his eye. He knew he was doing the right thing. "Think you can handle that, Tyler?"

"That's kind of the way I eat now." He wrinkled his nose. "Not because I want to but because Mom makes me."

"Your mom's smart. Think about it," Zach said. "You really think you can be a professional athlete if you put a ton of crap into your body?" He didn't see any reason to mention Tyler's condition. Like Rennie, he didn't want his son to feel his diabetes made him different.

"I guess not. Oh, I forgot my water bottle on the bench. Do I have time to go back and get it?"

"Sure. Go ahead," Zach said.

"Thanks, I'll be right back."

"Thank you for doing that," Rennie said, watching their son sprint across the field. "He really looks up to you. Right now, your opinion holds a lot more weight than mine. If we're on the same page, it would help a lot."

"I'll do whatever I can to help," he said. "I hope you know that."

"I keep a cooler in the car for Tyler," she said, walking toward her vehicle. "Just some fruit, crackers, nuts, and sunflower seeds. He should have a quick snack. Do you want something?"

"Sure," Zach said, winking. "I have to set a good example, don't I?"

# Chapter Thirteen

Rennie was mortified when Tyler ran from room to room in Zach's six thousand-square foot home, shouting about every new find.

"Mom, you gotta see this games room. He has huge Pac Man and Donkey Kong machines!"

"I see you still like to play games?" Rennie joked, smiling. The way Zach looked at her made her realize he'd read more into it.

"I'm not playing games, Ren."

"I know that," she said, wandering into the gourmet kitchen. Cooking in a kitchen like his instead of her little galley kitchen would be a dream come true. "Should you take one of these before we go?" She held up the plastic prescription bottle on the granite countertop.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" he asked, reaching for the bottle. "You're such a caretaker."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she said, trying not to feel defensive. Their friends in high school and college had always teased her about mothering them. She always made sure no one had been drinking if they drove. She brought extra sunscreen to the beach and water to the baseball games. Maybe she was maternal, but she didn't see that as a character flaw.

"It's not at all." He tipped one of the little white pills into his palm and replaced the plastic cap before setting the bottle on the counter. "It's served you well. You're an incredible mother, Ren. Tyler's lucky to have you." He popped the pill into his mouth and stepped closer.

She watched him dry swallow the pill as her breath caught in her throat. Surely he wouldn't try kissing her with their son downstairs. Would he? "Thank you." She stepped back, trying to put some distance between them, but her backside hit the counter instead.

"I'm lucky too," he said, lowering his voice.

"How so?" She knew she probably shouldn't ask, but curiosity got the better of her. With Zach, she could never leave well enough alone.

"I couldn't have picked a better mother for my son."

Rennie smoothed a hand over her black cotton dress to keep her hands busy. He was standing too close, and the temptation to touch him was almost impossible to ignore. "That's sweet of you to say."

"I mean it. I always knew you were the one... the woman I wanted to be the mother of my children."

Children. He'd said children. Just where did he see them going? Before she could ask, Tyler ran into the room, and Zach stepped back. Her voice trembled when she spoke, but thankfully Tyler didn't seem to notice. "Hey, you're still wearing your uniform. I thought you were supposed to be getting changed."

"I will, in a minute." He looked from his mother to Zach and back again. "How come there's a picture of you and my mom downstairs?"

Zach darted a quick look at Rennie before returning his attention to Tyler. "I guess I forgot that was there."

"You guys were all dressed up. Where were you going?"

Since Rennie didn't know which picture Tyler was referring to, she couldn't respond. Zach had accompanied her to almost every formal event throughout high school and college, so it could have been any one of a dozen nights.

"I was... uh... taking your mom to her senior prom, I think," Zach said, looking uncomfortable.

Senior prom. That night had been magical. Zach was two years older than her and he'd already left for college, but he came back because he wanted to be a part of her special night. He gave her a beautiful sapphire ring that night with a promise that they would always be together. She still had that ring in her jewelry box. It was the one memento from their relationship she hadn't been able to part with.

"You were kissing in the picture," Tyler said, looking confused. "I mean... really kissing. That was you, wasn't it? It was next to another picture that looked just like you."

Rennie touched her throat, searching for something to say to eradicate the awkwardness of the moment.

"You got me," Zach said, raising his hand in surrender. "I was crazy about your mom."

"You were?" Tyler asked, his mouth dropping open as he stared at his mom.

Rennie tried to tamp down her annoyance that her son was incredulous that a handsome, wealthy professional athlete could have had a thing for her. "That was before the hump on my back."

Zach laughed. "Your mom was just about the prettiest girl I'd ever laid eyes on." He sneaked a glance at Rennie. "In fact, she still is."

If Rennie managed to hide her embarrassment about the picture, she couldn't anymore. "You don't have to say that, Zach." She wanted to believe it, but that would be foolish. She'd seen some of the women he'd dated over the years. The list of beautiful women went on and on.

"It's true," he said, looking her in the eye. "Don't ever question that."

"So why didn't you marry her if you liked her so much?" Tyler asked, crossing his arms.

"I wanted to," Zach said quietly.

Rennie panicked. She wasn't ready to have that conversation. She needed more time to prepare herself, to prepare Tyler. Surely Zach could see that. "Why don't you go and get changed, Tyler? I'm starving."

Tyler sighed. "Aww, but I wanted to hear about--"

"I'll tell you the whole story someday," Zach said. "I promise."

***

Zach couldn't remember ever enjoying himself more. Going to Tyler's baseball games, family dinners, movie nights, and quiet nights at home was a routine he could easily see himself settling into. Zach wanted it all, and as he walked Rennie and Tyler to their door, he thought about how he could make that happen.

"You really didn't have to follow us home," Rennie said, dropping her keys into Zach's open hand when he reached for them.

"It was my pleasure."

"Maybe you could come over for dinner tomorrow night," Tyler said. "Unless you have to be at a game or something."

"No, it's an away game." Zach stole a glance at Rennie as he tried to gauge her reaction. He wanted to spend more time with them, but he didn't want Rennie to think he was pushing for too much, too soon. "As long as I'm on the disabled list, I don't have to travel with the team. In fact, they prefer it if I stay behind and keep my appointments with the physical therapist."

"Don't you have people who travel with the team?" Rennie asked, obviously trying to avoid Tyler's dinner invitation.

"Sure, but the guy I'm working with is based in Arlington, and he's one of the best."

"I see." She waited for Zach to unlock her door and return her keys. "Thank you for dinner and coming to Tyler's game. It was a lovely evening."

"So can you come to dinner tomorrow night?" Tyler asked.

"I'd say that's up to your mother." He smiled at Rennie. "Don't feel you have to say yes because your kid's got you backed into a corner." He knew he wasn't playing fair, but he wanted to spend more time with them. If he had to wait for Rennie to extend the invitation, he may be waiting a while.

"We'd love to have you," she said, offering a tight smile.

He'd love to have her, but he couldn't say that with their son looking on. One day, the truth would come out, and he'd have her alone. No guilt or remorse, just the truth that they were still attracted to each other and there was no point denying the inevitable any longer. They belonged together. "In that case, I'd love to come. But only on one condition."

"What's that?" Rennie asked, looking uncertain.

"You let me grill."

She grinned, looking relieved. "You're on, Foster."

***

Zach felt restless sitting around his house. With his sore shoulder, he couldn't do any of the things he normally did to pass the time. The pool and exercise room were off limits. He couldn't shoot pool or play video games, and he didn't feel like reading a book or watching TV. So he went to High Rollers, knowing at least one of his buddies would be there. Even though they'd built a posh corporate headquarters building in Arlington, one or more of them was usually at the bar keeping an eye on things--mostly sports highlights and the cute waitresses.

"Any of the boys here?" Zach asked the bartender.

"Yeah, Matt's in the office."

"Great, thanks." Zach tapped on the door in case Matt was in a meeting with one of their employees. Even though his job was PR, he managed to get involved in just about every aspect of the business.

"Come in," Matt called. He grinned when he saw Zach. "Hey, there he is. How's the shoulder, man?"

"Okay." Zach claimed the seat across from his friend. "It doesn't look like I'll need surgery, so I guess that's a good thing."

Matt frowned as though he was trying to decide whether he should take his partner seriously. "You guess that's a good thing? Wouldn't you be out of the game a hell of a lot longer if you had to have surgery?"

"Yeah." Zach folded a leg over his knee then sat up straight again. He was antsy, which wasn't like him. He'd been frustrated when he woke up to an empty bed. He wanted Rennie and Tyler there with him, where they belonged. She'd admitted she still had feelings for him. They shared a kid. Their passion still burned bright enough to shame the sun. To him, it was a no brainer, but she seemed determined to let the past dictate their future, and he didn't know how to convince her that was a mistake.

"What's got you so bummed, besides the injury?" Matt pushed the swivel chair back and laced his hands over his flat stomach.

"It's complicated," Zach said, knowing Matt would try to understand. He was sensitive, a good listener, the kind of person who was always there when needed. Even though Zach and Jaxon went back years, Matt was often the guy he came to with problems.

"Try me." When Zach couldn't find the words, Matt asked, "Does this have anything to do with Rennie?"

Zach looked up. He'd trusted Jaxon to keep his big mouth shut. "Did Jaxon say something?"

"He didn't have to. I saw the way you looked at her when y'all came in here the other day." Matt smirked. "I, uh, couldn't help but notice the way you cut in when she was dancing with that dude at the fundraiser. Looked to me like you were jealous."

"Of that loser?" Zach rolled his eyes. "Gimme a break, Hudson."

"So, what's the story with you two?" Matt pushed aside a plate holding a half-eaten sandwich.

"You know we were engaged, right?" Zach's friends all knew a girl in his past had ruined him for other women.

"Jaxon may have mentioned she was the one who did a number on you back in the day," Matt said quietly. "I can't believe she came back after all these years. Man, that's wild."

"Yeah, it gets even better." In Zach's mind, Tyler made everything better. Whether Rennie liked it or not, they would always be a part of each other's lives through their son. "I have a kid with her."

Matt didn't look as shocked as Zach thought he would. "How old?"

"Ten."

"Huh."

"Did Jaxon say anything to you about Tyler?" Zach would kill his best friend if he had told their partners his personal business before he was ready to let them in on it.

"No, not a word."

"Yet you don't seem surprised."

"I'm trying to hide my shock," he said, chuckling. "A kid? You have a kid?"

"Yeah." Zach smiled the way he always did when he thought about Tyler.

"I don't have to ask if you're happy about it. Obviously you are."

"Yeah, I am."

"You're not the kind of guy who would bail on your own kid, so I'm assuming you didn't know."

"No, I didn't."

"Ouch." Matt sucked in a breath. "That must have stung. She didn't tell you?"

"She had her reasons."

Matt looked at him a long time. "How did Tyler react when you told him you were his father?"

"He doesn't know yet. We're going to tell him soon." Zach would have liked to tell him last night when he'd asked questions about their past, but he could tell Rennie wasn't ready yet. Maybe tonight she would be. He hoped so, because he didn't know how much longer he could go on living a lie.

"Where do things stand with you and Rennie?" Matt asked.

Leave it to his friend to get to the heart of what was bothering him in fifty words or less. "I still want her." Zach rubbed his eyes. After a night of tossing and turning, he was tired, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Rennie's face.

"How does she feel?"

"I don't know.  I think she's still into me." He used to know exactly what she was thinking and how she was feeling, but he couldn't read her as easily anymore. She seemed wary, guarded, as though she felt she had to hide her feelings to protect herself, and he hated that. He thought of the kiss they'd shared in the parking lot. He knew he could lure her back into his bed, but that didn't mean she'd stay, and he didn't want her any other way.

"But you don't know for sure?"

"We were out together last night: me, Rennie, and Tyler. It felt right, man. Like I was where I belonged."

Matt smiled. "That's a good feeling."

It was the best feeling Zach had ever had, as though his life made sense. For years, his millions hadn't bought him happiness. The beautiful women he'd dated left him empty the morning after. Even fast cars couldn't turn him on anymore. Now he knew why. Rennie and Tyler were the missing pieces. Zach glanced around the office at the framed photos of the famous faces who'd visited their bars. Celebrities, athletes, politicians. High Rollers was the place to be. He was proud of the business they'd built. He was proud of his accomplishments as an athlete, but he wanted them to be proud of him. That mattered more than anything else. "Yeah, it is. I just want to make them happy."

"How are you gonna make that happen?" Matt asked.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out." Zach sighed and leaned forward. "Ren and I have a long history. I let her down once, and she can't seem to get over that."

"How does she feel about you being a part of Tyler's life?"

"She doesn't want to get in the way of that." Admitting another man had been playing father to his son was difficult for Zach, mostly because it was his fault it went down that way. "There was a stepfather in the picture. Tyler thought of him as his dad."

"What happened? He and Rennie split?" Matt leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk.

"No, he died in a fire."

"That had to be rough on them," Matt said, gauging Zach's reaction.

Matt obviously knew it was a sensitive subject and was trying to tread lightly. Zach appreciated the effort, but nothing could change the facts. He'd lost a decade with the woman he loved and the child they shared because some other guy was willing to step up and be a man. Someone else hadn't been afraid to take on a role Zach hadn't been able or willing to back when he thought baseball was the only thing that mattered. Now he knew better. "Yeah, it was. Rennie's doing her best to try to get Tyler back on the right track, but I know she's still dealing with a lot."

"Maybe you should just focus on your relationship with your son for now," Matt said. "Give Rennie a little more time. Support her when you feel she needs it, but don't hope for too much, too soon."

"Easier said than done," Zach muttered. "Do you know how frustrating it is to have everything you've ever wanted within reach, but you can't quite seem to get at it?"

"I have some idea," Matt said, smiling. "Man, I know you're impatient. You want what you want when you want it, but this ain't gonna go down that way. Earning their trust is gonna take as long as it takes."

Zach knew his friend was right, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear. He didn't want to wait months--or God forbid years--to claim the life he wanted. "And in the meantime?"

"Keep your focus where it belongs. On your son. Your career. This business. Rebuilding a friendship with Rennie. Forget about dating other women--"

"You think you have to tell me that?"

Matt laughed. "Not really. If I were talking to Jaxon, it would be necessary to point that out, but not with you."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," Zach said, smiling. At least he wasn't as bad as Jaxon. He treated women as if they were interchangeable. Zach didn't want to believe he ever would have gotten to that point, but who knew what might have happened if Rennie hadn't walked back into his life. Bitterness and resentment colored a man's perspective, and Zach knew that's the reason he hadn't been willing to give any other woman a fair shot. "So you don't think I should tell Rennie I see a future with her yet?"

"Man, it's way too early for that."

Zach figured his friend was right, but when he thought of the years they'd already lost, it felt as if he was ten years too late. Zach sighed. "You're probably right. Okay, I'll take it slow. Play it cool. See how this all plays out."

"Let me know how things go when you tell Tyler, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." Zach got to his feet.

"Good luck."

"Thanks, buddy. I have a feeling I'm gonna need it."

# Chapter Fourteen

"Have you decided when you're gonna tell Tyler that Zach is his dad?" Jackie whispered. They were watching their kids splashing around their parents' pool. Mason was in the shallow end with Alyson while Tyler showed off by swimming laps.

Her parents had invited them over for a barbeque that evening, but when Rennie explained that she and Tyler had plans with Zach, her mother suggested lunch instead. Since Rennie didn't feel like sitting around the house waiting for the seconds to tick by, counting down the hours until she would see Zach again, she agreed.

Her mother was inside making salad, insisting she didn't need any help and her girls should just relax. Their father was manning the barbeque. The sisters had a rare moment for a little girl time, and Rennie wasn't surprised her sister dove right in with the big question she'd no doubt been dying to ask ever since Tyler's birthday party last weekend. "I don't know. I spoke to Tyler's therapist, and he thinks we should just bite the bullet and get it over with."

Rennie reached for her sweet tea and took a sip before setting it back down on the table between them. It felt nice to stretch out on a lounger, letting the sun beat down on her. Too bad she couldn't relax enough. Thinking about how the night would play out was at the forefront of her mind. Would Zach get tired of playing by her rules and decide tonight was the night to tell their son the truth?

"I think that's the best thing to do," Jackie said, blowing a kiss at her daughter when she squealed for her.

"Easy for you to say," Rennie said. "Every time I think about it, I feel sick."

"That's why it's best to get it over with. Your fear of the unknown is probably a hundred times worse than the reality."

Rennie watched her son swim from one end of the pool to the other as his little cousin giggled and splashed. How would Tyler react when he found out the truth? Would he despise her or would he understand that she was trying to protect him? Would he be excited that the man he idolized was his real father, or would he be angry that Zach had missed out on the first ten years of his life? She had so many questions, yet she was too terrified of the answers to ask.

"You may be right. I just don't know." Tears gathered behind Rennie's dark glasses, and she was glad her sister couldn't see them. "My son is my whole world, sis. I couldn't stand it if he hated me."

"That kid could never hate you," Jackie said, reaching for her sister's hand. "He loves you. You're his mom. You're the one who's helped him manage his diabetes, mend his scraped knees, hold his hand when he's sick, dry his tears when he's sad..." Jackie squeezed her sister's hand harder when Rennie's bottom lip trembled. "It may take him some time to sort out his feelings about this, but he will come around eventually, hon. You have to believe that."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." She wasn't sure, but that's what Jackie expected to hear. "I'm gonna see if Mom needs any help. You want anything from inside?"

"No, I think I'll join them in the pool."

Rennie watched her sister join her husband and daughter. They were the perfect little family, and like a dagger to the heart, it reminded her of all that Zach had missed out on with Tyler. First steps, first words, first loose tooth... moments they could never get back. Getting to know Zach again reminded her of all the reasons she'd fallen in love with him. He was a good man, responsible, compassionate, and loving. He would never have abandoned her or their child, but welcoming fatherhood with open arms and feeling duty-bound were two different things.

Needing a moment to collect herself, Rennie headed toward the house hoping she could slip into the powder room. No such luck. Her father reached for her hand when she walked past and dragged her closer for a hug. She'd always been a daddy's girl, and when she slipped into the crook of his arm, the dam broke, and the tears she'd been holding back poured down her cheeks.

Chuck kissed the top of her head as he flipped burgers. He was a man of few words, but in moments of turmoil, his words always seemed to ease Rennie's pain.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, sniffling. "I didn't mean to fall apart like this."

"You're allowed. I guess your life seems like a bit of a mess right now, huh?"

She knew her mother would tell her father the truth, though judging by Marian's comments at the birthday party, they'd suspected as much all along. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys the truth about--"

"You must have had your reasons, angel. I've never known you to lie about anything." He chuckled. "Not even when you snuck out and took my truck in the middle of the night so you could go to that damn bush party, or whatever you kids were calling them."

Rennie smiled. That had been the only time she ever broke the rules, and even though she hadn't gotten caught, she'd come clean with her parents the next morning and accepted her punishment without argument just so she could ease her guilty conscience. "Living with this lie was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I didn't know what else to do. Zach didn't want to be a father to Tyler, and Nathan did. He loved my son, and my son loved him."

"Nathan was a good man," Chuck said, "and a good father."

"Are you saying you think I made the right decision, not telling Tyler and Zach the truth sooner?" Rennie asked, looking up at her father.

His expression was grim, his lips pulled in a tight line. "I didn't say that. I think you should have been honest with Zach. He had a right to know he was gonna be a daddy, Ren."

"But he didn't want to be," she cried, grateful no one was around to hear her outburst. "I heard him tell Kevin he didn't want kids for years and he'd felt pressured into marrying me. How could I tell him the truth knowing he would only stay with me and our son out of obligation?"

"That doesn't sound like Zach," Chuck said, frowning.

"Had I not heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed it either. But he said it, and I have no doubt he meant it."

"How does he feel about being a father now?" Chuck asked, plating half a dozen hamburgers. "Is he ready to step up and be the father Tyler needs?"

"He says he is." Rennie slipped out from under her father's arm and reached for the plate.

"Do you believe him?"

"I want to." Rennie would never admit how much she wanted to believe that Zach would never do anything to hurt their child, but trust didn't come easily. He'd broken her heart once; she couldn't allow him to break Tyler's heart.

"But you're not sure if you can?" Chuck asked, facing her.

"I'm not sure of anything anymore. I know that Tyler needs to know the truth, but I'm not going to lie--I'm scared to death of the fallout."

"You're one of the bravest people I know." Her father kissed her head. "Dig deep and find the courage to make things right, angel. You won't know a moment's peace until you do."

Her father was right. It was time to make peace with her past. Tonight.

***

Rennie stared at her reflection as she waited for Zach to arrive. He'd texted her to say he'd pick up steak and shrimp for dinner, so she just had to prepare the twice baked potatoes, tossed salad, and fresh fruit for dessert.

She had time to obsess about her appearance. She'd chosen a simple black and white sundress and black and silver flip-flops. She'd applied a dusting of makeup and blow dried her hair until it fell in soft waves around her shoulders. She was going for casual, but she feared he may be able to see that she was trying too hard.

Hearing him say he still thought she was prettiest girl he'd ever known made her want to live up to his praise. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the subtle signs of aging in the fine lines fanning out from her eyes and bracketing her mouth. She was no longer a fresh-faced teen, and for a man who could have any woman he wanted, Zach was doing a very good job at making her believe he still wanted her. But was that because they shared a son and he wanted to do what he felt was right, or was he still as attracted to her as she was to him?

"Hey, Mom, I set the table. Can I go outside and wait for Zach now?" Tyler peeked his head inside her bedroom door. "Hey, you look pretty."

"Thanks, honey," she said, smiling at him in the mirror. "You look nice too." He'd wanted to pick out his own clothes. He'd chosen a white Nike T-shirt and black athletic shorts, but at least he'd combed his hair when he got out of the shower.

Tyler stepped into the room hesitantly. He walked to his mother's bed and sat down. "So, you still like Zach or what?"

Rennie had been expecting that question after her son learned about her history with the pitcher, but she'd hoped she could talk to Zach first so they could decide together how they would handle the conversation. "Sure, I do. He's nice guy. Don't you think so?"

Tyler rolled her eyes. "You know I do, Mom. But I'm asking what you think of him."

"And I just told you. I like him." Rennie reached into her jewelry box and selected a pair of freshwater pearl earrings. She slipped them in and hoped Tyler would let the subject of Zach rest for a while.

"You think you guys'll start dating?"

Rennie knew the subject of her dating other men would come up eventually, but she never thought the man in question would be Zach. Fate certainly had a wicked sense of humor. "We're just getting to know each other again. How would you feel about it if I started dating Zach?" She knew asking that question before Tyler knew the whole story wasn't fair, but she was curious.

Tyler shrugged and fixed his gaze on the patterned area rug beneath his bare feet. "I don't know. I used to think it'd be weird to see you with anybody but Dad, but I really like Zach. He's cool, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know." Rennie smiled. "Well, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Zach and I aren't there yet, and I don't know if we ever will be. Why don't we just enjoy dinner and let the future take care of itself?"

The doorbell rang, and Tyler jumped up. "I'll get it."

Rennie stole one last look in the mirror and smoothed a trembling hand over her dress as she took a deep breath. No matter the outcome, her life would never be the same. Zach would want to be a part of Tyler's life with visitation rights, or maybe even shared custody. She would have to step aside. That, she knew, would be the hardest part. She made her way out to the foyer slowly to give Tyler a few moments alone to greet Zach.

"Hey," Zach said, his eyes sweeping over her as his smile widened. "You look great."

"Thanks. So do you." He was wearing faded jeans and a white, short-sleeved button-down shirt with a discreet designer logo on the pocket. The summer sun had darkened his skin and lightened his hair a shade or two, much like Tyler's.

"Um, Tyler, can you put that in the fridge?" she asked, pointing at the bag in Zach's hand. She was trying hard to ignore the dozen white roses in his hand. They'd ordered hundreds of white roses for their wedding, and even though Zach wanted color, she insisted on white roses because they were her favorite.

"These are for you," he said when Tyler left the room.

"You shouldn't have." She accepted them with a smile. It wasn't easy to smile when her heart was breaking. She didn't often allow herself to think about the fairy-tale wedding they'd planned. She and Nathan had married in a civil ceremony, just the two of them and two witnesses. She told him she didn't want a big production, but the truth was she couldn't bring herself to recreate her fantasy wedding.

"I hope I made the right call." He glanced at the flowers. "I thought of getting something else, something that wouldn't remind you of..." He sighed. "But I risked it because I knew these were your favorite." He looked hesitant. "That's if they still are?"

"They are." She offered him a reassuring smile to let him know she appreciated the gesture almost as much as she appreciated the fact he understood they couldn't pretend the past had never happened. She wasn't ready to let go of it, and she certainly wasn't ready to forget the wonderful years she'd spent with Nathan. What she felt with Zach was different, more intense, but she wouldn't allow that to negate her feelings for her husband. Nathan was a good man. He had earned her trust, proven to her that he would always be there for her, and never let her down.

"Nice house." Zach looked uncomfortable when she got lost in her thoughts. "It suits you."

"Thanks," she said, stepping back to welcome him inside. Rennie had bought the house with Nathan's life insurance money. It was a small three-bedroom ranch-style house with a small vegetable garden and a few flower beds. It had a fenced backyard in case she ever decided to get Tyler that dog, and it was close to her parents, Jackie, and Tyler's school. It wasn't big and luxurious like Zach's house, but it was perfect for them.

"I kind of miss the old neighborhood." He glanced out the patio doors to the backyard.

They'd both grown up nearby in larger versions of the house Rennie shared with her son. So many times they'd talked about how great it would be if Zach could get a contract pitching for the hometown team so their kids could grow up near their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. All these years later, they were so close, yet so far from the life they'd dreamed.

"Why didn't you move back here? They built some beautiful homes backing on to your parents' golf course."

"Yeah, but they live there." He chuckled. "That would've been a little too close for comfort, if you know what I mean?"

His parents were good people, but she knew his mother had strong opinions about how Zach should live his life. She also had the tendency to meddle when things weren't working out according to her plan. In fact, Rennie was a little surprised Lenora hadn't been banging her door down demanding to see her grandson.

"My mama would've been walking in whenever she damn well felt like it, and that could've been awkward." The color rose in his cheeks. "I mean--"

"It's okay, Zach. I know what you meant." She smiled reassuringly, hoping he couldn't tell how much the idea of him being intimate with other women bothered her. "A lot of years have passed since we were a couple. We've both changed a lot. You don't owe me any explanations about how you've been living since I left." The only thing that mattered was that he was willing to step up and be the father their son needed.

"One thing will never change, Ren," he said, stepping closer.

"Hey, Mom, I..." Tyler looked from his mom to Zach. "Sorry, I was just gonna ask--"

"No problem, Tyler." Rennie smiled at her son. She was grateful Tyler had interrupted. Whatever Zach had been prepared to say, she didn't think she was ready to hear it. "What do you need, hon?"

"Can I have a diet pop?"

"Sure, just remember one is your limit," Rennie said, following Zach into the kitchen. She had to put the flowers in water.

"It's too bad we can't toss the ball," Tyler said, looking at Zach's injured shoulder.

"How is it?" Rennie asked, glancing at Zach over her shoulder.

"I'll survive." His full lips twisted into a wry grin. "Injuries like this go with the territory."

Rennie knew that. Icing, massage, and physical therapy had been a part of his life as far back as she could remember. "Shouldn't you be wearing a sling or something?" She reached for a crystal vase from an overhead cabinet. "You know, so you don't overdo it?"

"They wanted me to." He moved in behind her to get the vase.

Rennie closed her eyes when his front brushed her back. Her son was only a few feet away, yet the urge to turn into his arms was compelling. That was the effect he'd always had on her. He made her forget reason and jump in with both feet. She'd believed with age came the wisdom to instinctively make better choices, but his chiselled chest and killer smile still turned her brain to mush.

"But you know how I hate to be incapacitated," he said, just loud enough for her to hear.

She sucked in a breath. Zach was reminding her of a time he'd been on the disabled list the year he went pro. He sustained an injury and one of the team doctors suggested a sling, but that night, he showed her all of the things he could still do to her... in spite of his injury.

"Um, I should turn the grill on." She turned fast enough that she bumped into the solid wall of his chest. Her kitchen was small, and he was...so not. A lethal combination. Especially with her innocent child standing by, watching them dance around their attraction to each other.

"You take care of the flowers," Zach said, grinning. "Tyler and I can take care of the grill."

"Are you sure?" she asked, already reaching into the drawer for the igniter. She couldn't get him out of there fast enough. She needed time and space just to remember how to breathe.

"You forget you're talking to the grill master," he said, laughing.

He was right. Manning the grill had always been one of his many talents. At parties in high school and college, he had always been the one their friends nominated to grill the food. "Of course." She rolled her eyes. "I'll skewer the shrimp while you heat it up."

Zach gave her a look that said things were hot enough already, but thankfully he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut in front of his little sidekick.

"Lord help me," Rennie muttered as soon as they stepped outside. Being around Zach was harder than she thought. Pretending, for the sake of her son, that they were just old friends reconnecting after years apart, when they would always be so much more than that, was impossible. After their son went to bed, they would have to talk about when and how to tell him the truth. One thing was for sure, it had to be soon. Rennie didn't know how much longer she could keep up the appearance of normalcy without cracking under the pressure.

# Chapter Fifteen

"I had a great time tonight, Ren," Zach said, sliding a strand of her hair through his fingers. They'd just said goodnight to Tyler, and they were settling in on the sofa with a glass of red wine. He knew he could happily spend every night for the rest of his life doing that. As much as he loved baseball, he loved spending time with his family even more. Because even though they didn't have a piece of paper or a ring tying them together, they had Tyler, and he represented forever.

"I did too," she said, swirling the wine in her glass. "I'll be honest, I didn't know what to expect, but it was... easy." She smiled. "I didn't think it would be so effortless."

He shifted closer, remaining mindful of his injury. He'd purposefully avoided taking pain reliever that afternoon so he could enjoy a glass of wine or two with dinner. He knew Rennie wouldn't indulge without him, and he liked the rosy glow he saw on her cheeks, the softness in her eyes that told him she was relaxed and content. "I know I've said it before, but Tyler is an amazing kid. You should be really proud of the job you've done with him."

She shifted, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't do it alone. I know you don't want to hear that, but I can't disregard Nathan's part in Tyler's life. He was important to him and me. I don't ever want Tyler to forget him."

Zach let his hand fall, and he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. His shoulder protested the sudden movement, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you I'm okay with another man stealing the life that should have been mine?"

"Nathan didn't steal anything from you, Zach." Rennie set her glass on the oak end table beside her. "You didn't want that life. He did."

"How long are you gonna punish me for that?" he asked, clenching his wine glass. "Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Forever?" When she didn't respond, he looked over his shoulder. The sadness in her eyes melted some of his anger. He knew it hadn't been easy on her either. "I'm sorry. It just kills me to think about... you loving someone else, some other guy raising my kid." He set his glass on the table when he feared he might shatter it.

"Nathan was--"

"I don't want to hear it," he said, clenching his teeth. "I don't wanna hear that he was a good man or a caring husband or a responsible father. I don't want to hear that you loved him or he loved you or that he really stepped up when you needed someone to help you with Tyler."

"But he--"

"Did. I know." When he couldn't sit still another second, Zach paced the small room. The things he'd been afraid to say churned around inside his head. He risked alienating her if he spoke the truth, but since she claimed honesty was a deal breaker, he decided to go for broke. "I hate him. I hate that he got to share your bed every night." He knew his fury was evident when she seemed to shrink back when they made eye contact.

"Zach, I--"

"I hate that he was the one to introduce my son to baseball. That should have been me!"

"Please be quiet," she said, looking desperate. "You'll wake Tyler."

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths. "If there is one moment in my life I could take back, it would be that conversation with my brother."

"But we can't go back." She tucked her legs under her.

"Would you, if you could?" He looked her in the eye, praying she would tell him what he would give everything to hear. "Would you go back? Would you marry me? Would you give me a chance to be a father to our son?"

A tear slid down her cheek, and she covered her mouth with her fist, refusing to look at him. "You're asking me if I wish Nathan had never been a part of my life. I don't."

Zach turned away, closing his eyes. His own tears were too close to the surface. She was telling him if she had to choose between him and her late husband, she would choose Nathan.

"Please try to understand," she said quietly. "He taught me so much about myself. Things I may never have learned had I stayed here with you."

Zach didn't trust himself to speak without losing his temper, so he said nothing. He wanted to yell, scream, throw something, put his fist through a wall... hit his knees and beg her for one more chance. And that, he knew, was the most pathetic of all the emotions raging inside of him. Another man would have been her first choice, and he still couldn't walk away.

"The way I loved Nathan was so different than the way I loved you. You need to understand that."

He didn't understand. He didn't understand how the only woman he'd ever loved could have loved another man more than she loved him.

"He made me feel safe. You made me feel insecure."

"I made you feel insecure?" he asked, finally facing her. "What the hell are you talking about? What did I ever do to make you feel insecure?"

"You were you," she said, as though that should explain everything.

"And?"

A sad, fleeting smile passed her lips. "You were the guy every girl wanted to date, and you were mine. A little part of me always wondered why and for how long."

"What?" Zach couldn't believe what he was hearing. In all the years they'd spent together, she'd never said anything like that to him.

"You were handsome, smart, sexy, athletic..." She sighed. "Everyone knew you were going places." She lifted a hand, gesturing to him. "And just look at you now. Not only are you a professional athlete, you own a chain of successful sports bars."

"So?"

"So what would a guy like you want with a normal woman like me?" She raised a hand when he started to protest. "Don't misunderstand, Zach. I'm not fishing for compliments, and I'm not downplaying my own accomplishments. I know I'm a good mom. I have a job I love, and I give something back to the world. I'm good with that. It's all I've ever really wanted. That's what Nathan helped me to realize: who I am and what I want."

"You don't think you could have figured that out with me?" His bitterness and resentment swiftly rose to the surface at the mention of her late husband's name.

"No, I honestly don't." She ran her fingertip around the rim of her glass as though she was looking for something to do with her hands. "You were right when you told Kevin I'd pressured you into marrying me. I did, subconsciously."

"No, it wasn't you--"

"Yes, it was." She took the last sip before setting her glass on the table. "I must have made you crazy going on and on about the life I wanted. Do you know why I did that?"

When she looked at him with a challenge in her eyes, he was almost afraid to ask. "Why?"

"Because I was afraid of losing you." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stared at the framed photographs on her mantle. There were pictures of Tyler, one of her and Nathan, one of her with her parents, and one of Tyler with his little cousin. "I was so desperate to hold on to you that I didn't care whether you were ready. I was ready. How selfish does that make me?"

He couldn't stand to see her beat herself up. In spite of what he'd told his brother, he'd loved Rennie and he had been ready to make her his wife. He may not have wanted to start a family right away, but she was the only woman he wanted to share his bed. He kneeled in front of her. "Don't do this. Don't take the blame for something that wasn't your fault. If anyone was selfish, it was me. You had to sacrifice everything for my career. The only thing you wanted was to be a wife and mother. The least I could have done was open my eyes and see that."

"If I'd stayed with you, that's probably all I would have wanted." She tentatively stroked his face. "It may have even made me happy, but I would have missed out on a career that fulfills me."

She brushed her thumb over his lower lip, and he barely suppressed the desire to draw it into his mouth. Even in the midst of his chaotic feelings, he still wanted to make love to her.

"I started working because I had to."

Zach swore softly. She had to work to support herself and Tyler when he should have, at the very least, been sending her five-figure child support payments every month.

"Even after Nathan and I got together, I had to work. He didn't earn enough to allow me to stay home with Tyler, and by that time, I wouldn't have wanted that. I started working for Sky's the Limit when Tyler started school fulltime. The office was just a few blocks from his school, so it was perfect. He could hang out with me at work until I was ready to call it a day."

Zach thought about how different their lives would have been had they married. Rennie may never have found her calling, but he couldn't accept that things had worked out for the best. He'd missed out on too much with them. Reclaiming his spot beside her, he moved in close, and she didn't pull away when he put his arm around her. "I'm glad you've found a career that makes you happy, Ren." He kissed the top of her head.

"I found more than just a career. I found myself."

He'd always thought she was pretty amazing, but he couldn't deny the changes in her made her even more appealing. She was stronger and more determined. She possessed a quiet confidence she'd lacked when she was younger. She knew who she was and what she wanted, but the question he was dying to ask was... did she still want him?

***

Being in Zach's arms felt so right, Rennie thought, kissing the forearm he had wrapped around her shoulders. They'd been talking for hours. He had asked questions about her life in Florida, and she had asked about his life in New York, where he'd spent a few seasons. She felt as if she was getting to know him all over again, but then they'd laughingly finished each other's sentences and she realized he was the still the same guy she'd loved all those years ago.

"I missed you so much, Ren," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "So many nights, I fell asleep staring at the ceiling wondering where you were, who you were with, whether you ever thought about me."

"I did think about you. A lot." There were moments when she got lost in those memories. She'd always smile a little too brightly at Nathan when she caught him looking at her. She hoped he hadn't been able to guess what she'd been thinking about.

"You said you thought about reaching out to me before Nathan died. Why didn't you after you moved back home?"

She was ashamed to admit she'd kept tabs on Zach via the Internet. He'd dated countless beautiful women, and she just assumed his life held no place for his son. "I thought you were happy. I didn't want to mess with that." She felt his chest vibrate with laughter, and she smiled.

"Happy? No." He sighed. "I shouldn't say that. I was happy with some areas of my life. I felt good about baseball, and High Rollers has been quite a ride, but I was missing out on that life you promised me."

She faced him. "Don't you think I wanted that life? I did. More than anything."

"And now?"

Could she take the risk and allow herself to fall in love with him again? She'd never stopped loving him, not really. "We have to see how things go when we tell Tyler." She was unwilling to commit to anything until she'd helped her son through the inevitable transition.

"When can we tell him?"

"When do you want to tell him?"

He flashed a sexy grin that reminded her why every single woman in the stands lined up to get his autograph after games. "Does now work for you?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "No, it doesn't. How about tomorrow?"

"Works for me. Hey, we have a game tomorrow. You guys should come."

"That sounds like fun." Tyler would love it. The mood in the room shifted when his gaze landed on her mouth as her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip.

"Ren," he said, leaning in, "if you want to kick me out on my ass, now would be the time."

She knew he was telling her one kiss wouldn't be enough. But did she want it to be? She didn't have her answer until his mouth descended on hers. No, she didn't. His kiss seemed tentative, but when she responded eagerly, it went from cautious to demanding.

Rennie closed her eyes and pretended the last ten years hadn't happened as she allowed him to distract her with the promise of what the next few hours would bring. It had been a long time since she'd made love to Zach, but she hadn't forgotten how he'd made her feel. His kisses were still all-consuming. They lit a fire in her belly that singed her. As he drove her into a nearly trance-like state, she clutched at his shoulders before she realized she must be causing him pain. "Oh God, Zach, I'm so sorry."

His dark eyes looked haunted when he pulled back. "Are you telling me...?"

"No." She couldn't help but laugh when she realized he thought she was rejecting him. If he'd kept kissing her, she would have been the one reduced to pleading. "Your shoulder." She dropped her head against his chest. "I was just worried about your shoulder."

"Don't be." He got up, holding out his hand to help her up.

She looked at his powerful chest as her inner voice urged her to delay the inevitable until he'd recovered fully. "Maybe we should wait until--"

"I've been waiting ten years." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "I'm not waiting another second."

They continued kissing as they made their way down the short hallway to the master bedroom. They would have to be cognizant of Tyler sleeping just down the hall, but it wouldn't be easy. Her body was demanding she shut out the rest of the world and just get lost in the man who seemed determined to get lost in her. She'd left the curtains open, and the moon cast a soft glow over the double bed dominating the small room. The bed seemed too small for his large frame, but she hadn't bought it intending to share it with anyone, least of all him.

Zach laughed softly when he looked at the bed. "You're kidding, right?"

"It's big enough for me," she said defensively.

"This takes me back to when I used to sneak into your bedroom when your parents were out. Making love in a bed this size was torture then. Now it's going to be--"

"Impossible?"

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt. "Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough."

Rennie was practically salivating by the time he got to the last button. He'd been much younger and a little leaner the last time he'd undressed for her. He'd become broader, stronger, more powerful, and sexier than any man should have the right to be.

"Do you mind giving me a hand with this?" he asked, glancing at his shirt.

"Of course." Moving behind him, she carefully guided it over his sore shoulder before dropping a kiss where she guessed the injury to be. She glided her mouth across his back until he shivered.

"Ren," he whispered, tilting back his head.

Watching the man whose job it was to be focused, in control, and unflappable surrender to her so completely was exhilarating. It always had been. To the rest of the world, he was a composed athlete at the top of his game, but with her, he'd always let his guard down and shown her how deeply she affected him.

"I've waited so damn long for this," he whispered as her hands glided over his chest. She stood behind him, her arms around his waist. Her hands, of their own volition, explored the body she'd branded as hers a lifetime ago. "I fantasized about having your hands on me like this again." His voice sounded strained as she reached for his belt buckle. "I never thought it would actually happen though. I thought it was too late."

She slid his zipper down slowly, easing his jeans over his powerful thighs and letting them fall. He wore navy boxer briefs, and his arousal was so obvious her breath caught in her throat. She hadn't made love in a long time, and if there was one thing she remembered about her first time with Zach, it was how long her body took to adjust. She suspected it would be the same since she hadn't been intimate in so long, it almost felt like her first time all over again. She slid her hand inside his waistband and wrapped her hand around his silky hardness as she pressed a kiss to his back.

"Jesus, Ren," he said, reaching for her wrist. "I need a minute." He chuckled, kicked off his jeans, and faced her. He wrapped his hands around her face. "You make me feel like I'm sixteen again. That's how much I need you, how much I want you."

She remembered what he'd been like as a teenager. Insatiable. That hadn't changed in the ten years that followed. It was no wonder she'd gotten pregnant. They made love every chance they got, almost as though they were determined to tempt fate. Which reminded her... "Uh, Zach?" She had difficulty thinking when he reached for the zipper running down the side of her dress and kissed her shoulder. Even more difficult when he lowered his head and kissed the flesh spilling over the cups of her white strapless bra. "I'm not on the pill."

He grinned as he reached for the clasp at the front of her bra. "It's a little late to worry about that, don't you think? We already have a kid."

Rennie couldn't forget what it cost her the first time they should have taken extra precautions and didn't. Not that she would have done anything differently. She couldn't imagine her life without Tyler. "Do you have a condom? Because I don't."

His face fell at the somberness in her tone. "Yeah, sure." He reached for his jeans, but she beat him to them.

She handed him the jeans and asked, "Are you sure that will be enough? It wasn't last time."

"Baby, everything is different now." He brushed his lips softly against hers. "I wasn't ready to be a father then. I am now. Can't you tell that?"

She wanted to believe that for Tyler's sake, but she still had her reservations. Nothing, other than time, could ease her fears. "I still don't want to take any chances. I don't want to risk getting pregnant again."

His dark eyes narrowed, and he looked unsettled. "Ever?"

"What?" He was upset, but she couldn't imagine why. They were on the verge of having sex again. Couldn't that be enough for him? Did he have to push her for more than she could give?

"Do you ever want to have another baby with me?" She stepped out of her dress and took a few steps away from him, but he was having none of it. He grabbed her wrist. "I'm not letting you walk away from me again. You need to know that."

"I don't know what you want from me." She tried to avoid the eyes demanding she look at him.

"Yes, you do," he whispered fiercely. "I want the life we planned. I want a second chance with you."

Rennie felt as if she couldn't breathe. One minute he wanted to be a father to his son; the next he wanted to be her lover again. Now he was telling her he still wanted to be her husband. How could she trust he was being honest? He'd said all the things she wanted to hear before and he hadn't meant them then. Why should she believe this time was any different?

"You don't believe me." He sounded hurt. "I can see it in your eyes. You don't believe me."

Rennie expected him to get dressed, to mutter something about talking to her tomorrow as he beat a path to her front door. What she didn't expect was for him to grab her and take her mouth as though he feared the kiss may be their last.

# Chapter Sixteen

Zach knew he shouldn't try to use sex to convince Rennie to take a chance on him, but at the moment, it was his only chance. He had to get closer to her, to prove to her their best days lie in the years ahead, not in the past. His hands skimmed her body like a whisper, a promise of what was to come if she found the courage to surrender to her desire. He knew she wanted him. He saw it in her eyes, felt it in her touch, tasted it in her kiss, but she was afraid. He had to convince her that he was afraid too, but he was willing to face his fears if she would meet him halfway. "It's gonna be okay, sweetheart." His lips glided over the curve of her shoulder. "I promise."

"I don't want you to make promises you can't keep. We've been down that road before."

Pretending he hadn't heard her, he focused on diminishing her fear the only way he knew how--by loving her with everything he had. As his mouth traced her soft skin, he knew there would never be another woman for him. Rennie had haunted his dreams for a decade, and if she left him again, he would be a broken man. He closed his hand around her breast. Brushing his thumb over the taut peak, he watched her eyes drift closed as she tipped her head back, lost in the pleasure. "I love you. I've never stopped loving you. You need to know that."

"Zach..."

He slid her white silk panties over her hips, urging her to step out of them. He stood back, his eyes greedily feasting on his real-life fantasy. Her body was curvier than it had been when she was a teen, but in his eyes, she was even more beautiful. Her breasts were fuller, and there was a gentle swell to her stomach. Her body had changed from the birth of their child, and he loved it even more.

Dipping her head, she seemed self-conscious as he appreciated her. "Stop," she whispered.

"I don't want to stop." He kissed her gently. "I don't ever want to stop." He feared their first time together may be rushed and frenzied, given how much he wanted her, but her gentle nature soothed him. He would take his time loving her because they would have years to get their fill of each other.

"Being back in your arms again feels so good," she whispered, kissing his shoulder as he nibbled her neck.

Zach knew those admissions would be slow in coming until he'd earned her trust, so he savored each and every one. In his mind, the last ten years had been a nightmare he was finally waking up from. "Feels like you never left."

He rested one hand on her hip so as not to strain his shoulder while the other sought out her core. Nudging her legs with his knee, he encouraged her to spread them for him. He knew she felt vulnerable and exposed, so he kissed away her fears as his fingers worked her body into submission. The soft sounds slipping from her lips made him want to take her right there in the middle of the room. Every moment of intimacy they shared would work toward breaking down the walls he was desperate to kick in, so he took his time. He loved her with his mouth and his hands. He whispered the words that had been locked inside of him since the day she left him at the alter with a wedding ring and a bleeding heart.

"You make me feel so incredible," she whispered, "like nothing else matters."

Every sweet word she uttered felt like salve soothing the scars he thought were too old and too deep to heal. She was healing him, making him believe in forever, giving him the courage to believe in second chances and happy endings.

"You always had a piece of my heart, Zach. You need to know that."

He eased her down on the end of her bed. He couldn't remain standing while his legs felt like rubber. Her blond hair was spread out around her, her eyes were clouded with lust, and her body was flushed from his kisses. She had never looked more beautiful, and in that moment, she was more than his first love, more than the mother of his child. She was his destiny. Every road he'd ever traveled led him back to her.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I'm thinking every tear, every sleepless night was worth it." He slid his knee between her legs, nudging them apart. "Because I'm finally back where I belong." She reached for his hand, but since he couldn't support his weight on his injured shoulder, he couldn't cover her body with his the way he wanted to.

"I find that hard to believe." She looked into his eyes almost as though she was trying to find the truth. "I don't ever remember seeing you cry."

"That's because you'd never left me before."

"Zach..." She slid forward, coaxing him to lie on his back. When he was settled, she straddled him and looked down at him for a long time. "Were you really devastated when I left? I mean, did you really want to marry me?"

It killed him that a few poorly chosen words could erase the ten years they'd spent loving each other. "You're the only woman I ever wanted to make my wife. I need you to believe that." She smiled hesitantly, as though she wanted to believe him but a little voice inside her head reminded her of the risk she was taking. "Would it help if I told you're the only woman I've ever said this to you: I love you." He coaxed her to lower her body over his until their hearts were aligned. He prayed she could see the truth in his eyes, feel it in his touch, sense it in the erratic beating of his heart. He needed her to believe in him, in them, again.

"Really?" Her blue eyes clouded with emotion.

"I swear to you." He kissed her slowly, thoroughly. He would do anything he could to reassure her. "I've never told another woman I loved her or wanted to marry her." He kissed away her tears. "I've never told a girl that I wanted her to have my baby. Just you, sweetheart. It's always been you, only you."

Zach heard her sniffling. She was crying in earnest, but he didn't know if they were tears of happiness that they were finally reconnecting, tears of sorrow for the years they'd lost, or tears of recrimination that she was allowing herself to fall for him again. So much still remained a frightening mystery, and more than anything, he wanted to figure out where they stood. "I just want the chance to love you again, baby. That's all I've ever wanted. Please, let me love you."

She looked him in the eye. Her face was moist, but her eyes held a glimmer of hope that led him to believe they were getting closer. "Protection?" He slid the plastic wrapper he'd extracted from his pocket into her hand. Rennie slid off his boxers and tossed them aside as her eyes roved over his body. In much the same way he'd committed her image to memory, she did the same. "It's not fair. You're sexier than ever."

"As long as you think so," he said, pressing a kiss to her wrist. "That's all I care about it." He didn't care whether he ceased to exist in the minds of every other woman on the planet, as long as Rennie looked at him as if he was her walking, talking, breathing fantasy come to life.

She slid her hand up and down his shaft while their eyes locked. "I want--"

"You. Now." He couldn't stand the sweet torture another second. Ten years was a hell of a long time to wait to make love, and that's how long he'd been waiting. He'd had sex since her, but connecting with any other woman that way was impossible. "Please, Ren."

She secured the condom and positioned her body over his. "You hate this, don't you?"

She was right. He wanted to do so many things to her, yet his shoulder injury limited the way he could love her. He hated that. "I'm gonna take you any way I can get you, baby."

Rennie grinned before she eased down, taking him slowly, inch by inch. "Ahhh..."

She was hot and tight, heaven and hell. He wanted to last forever, but his body was already pleading with him to concede to release. "Ride me." He gripped her hip with his good hand, wishing he could guide her to her own release the way he wanted to.

"Gladly," she said, grinding against him as soft sighs escaped her lips.

"Ah, baby." He squeezed his eyes shut. He was determined to hold on, to let her take what she needed, but he felt helpless to control the cyclone building inside him. It was taking over, making his heart beat faster as his entire body clenched in anticipation.

"Zach... yes... oh God... yes..." She rode him harder, faster, seeming more and more desperate as her body urged her on. "I'm gonna..."

She didn't have to say it; he felt it in every nerve ending as she clasped him mercilessly in her throbbing heat. She was the one who should be seeing stars, but the struggle to control his body and deny his release was almost as intense as he knew his orgasm would be.

"Wow," she whispered, staring at him, looking a little shell-shocked.

He reached for her, needing to feel that full, pouty mouth on his. He wanted to experience the seductive glide of her tongue as he teased her into letting loose again. Wrapping his good arm around her waist, he held her tight and poured all of his pain and pleasure into that kiss. She moaned and milked him again while she let him have his way with her mouth.

He felt as if they were making love in a sauna, that's how much heat they were generating, but he couldn't seem to care. Nothing would stop him from eliciting that reaction from her a second time. Seconds stretched into minutes, each one more passionate than the last, as they used each other's bodies to live out their erotic fantasies.

"Ren, come for me, baby," he whispered as he tore his mouth away from hers. He knew he was seconds away from completion, but he would hate himself if he didn't take her with him.

"Yessss...." She leaned back into it, giving and getting in equal measure as they shared a moment of intensity that rocked them from their pounding heads and hearts to their clenched toes. "Jesus, Zach..."

He chuckled when she stared at him as though she couldn't decide whether he was trying to pleasure her or kill her. "I won't ask if it was as good for you as it was for me."

"Like you have to ask," she muttered, climbing off of him.

"Gimme a minute, sweetheart," he said, rolling out of bed. Thankfully, she had a small ensuite bathroom. Once Zach had disposed of the condom and washed up, he leaned over the small counter and stared at his reflection. He looked happy and satisfied. He hadn't looked that way after sex since... Rennie. She was stretched out in bed, hands over her head, when he returned. He grinned as he stood over her. "Are you going to make room for me in that Barbie bed?"

"It's a small room," she said defensively. "I wouldn't have had room for a queen bed, plus a triple dresser, chest of drawers, and two nightstands."

He rolled his eyes as she moved to the edge of the bed to make room for him. "You couldn't have made do with just one dresser?"

"Are you kidding?" She slipped under his arm and curled into his chest. "This is an old house. Have you seen the size of the closets? They're tiny."

His size eleven feet were hanging off the end of the bed, but not even that could dampen his mood. "Have you seen the size of the walk-in closets in my house?" he teased. "They're probably the size of this room."

"Zach, let's not get ahead of ourselves." She flattened her hand on his chest. "I don't want to rush anything. We have to think about Tyler."

"Come on, what kid doesn't want his parents to be together?"

"Except he doesn't think of you as his parent. Not yet anyway. I'm sure in time--"

"How much time do you think he'll need to come around?" Zach was willing to give his son as much time as he needed to accept him, but he didn't want it to take too long. He was ready to start their new life together.

"I don't know." Rennie sighed. "I have no way of knowing how he's going to react to the news. Frankly, I'm scared to death to tell him."

He understood her fear, but he would do everything he could to make the transition as seamless as possible. "I'm not gonna let you take the fall for this, if that's what you're worried about."

"I know you wouldn't do that," she said, kissing his chest. "But I have to own my part in this. I was the one who kept the truth from both of you and let Tyler believe that Nathan was his biological father."

The hand around her waist flexed as Zach tried to suppress his anger. Every time he thought about Nathan, it aroused feelings he couldn't contain. Rennie saw her late husband as a hero. No doubt Tyler did as well. How was he supposed to compete, to earn their love and respect, with Nathan's ghost haunting them?

"You're quiet," she said, looking up at him. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm just wondering how Tyler's going to react." He knew Tyler was a little star-struck around him, but how would he feel when he learned that Zach wanted to take the place of the man he'd considered his dad? Would he resent Zach's interference in his life? Would he try to come between Rennie and Zach because of his loyalty to Nathan? So many things could go wrong, and when Zach allowed himself to dwell on it too long, he broke out in a cold sweat. He and Rennie may be getting closer, but they were a long way from being home free.

***

Rennie gasped when she pried her eyes open and saw Zach sleeping next to her. She'd told him he should leave and he agreed, but they must have fallen asleep sometime between making love, talking about the future, and laughing over their favorite memories from the past. Glancing at the alarm clock, she realized what woke her. It was after seven. She'd heard Tyler in his bathroom, probably taking his insulin. "Zach, wake up. You fell asleep. Tyler's--"

"Hey, Mom," Tyler said, knocking on her door. "What's for breakfast? I'm hungry."

"Damn it," she whispered, sitting up and clutching the sheet to her chest. "I... uh... I'll make omelets. Just grab a banana to tide you over for a few minutes. I'll be right out."

"Okay."

Rennie breathed a sigh of relief when she heard his footsteps recede down the hall. "Hurry. Maybe you can get dressed and sneak out before he sees you."

Zach watched her run around the room gathering his clothes. "I'm not sneaking out. Tyler's going to have to get used to me spending the night."

"But... I..." She ran a hand through her tousled hair before throwing Zach's clothes on the bed. "It's too soon. He's never seen me with anyone other than his dad."

Zach scowled. "Damn it, Rennie. Would you stop saying that? I'm his dad!"

"You're right, I'm sorry." She wished she could start the whole morning over...alone in her bed. Not that she regretted what had happened with Zach, but she wasn't ready to share the details of their relationship with their son. "Please, just get dressed. Then we'll figure out what to do."

"I already know what we're going to do," Zach said, easing out of bed. "We're going to get dressed, go out there, have breakfast, and tell our son the truth. Isn't that what we agreed?"

Rennie knew they had agreed to tell Tyler the truth, but not like that. He wasn't so young that he wouldn't understand what seeing his mother and Zach together first thing in the morning meant. Playing on a team with older boys meant that he probably knew more about sex than he should, and that would be a definite disadvantage in their situation.

"Can't we wait until later?" she asked, feeling hysteria bubbling up in her throat. "Maybe after the game?" She watched Zach get dressed with one hand. She should offer to help with his shirt, but her feet were rooted to the spot. She felt frozen in indecision. Was Zach right? Should they just swallow their fear and get it over with, or should she take more time to mentally prepare, to decide what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it?

"No. Now," he said, looking determined.

"Fine." Rennie sighed as she reached into her closet for a long, pink terrycloth bathrobe. She slipped her feet into matching slippers. "At least give me a chance to warn him that you're here. If you want to grab a shower, there are extra towels in the closet and a couple of new toothbrushes in the cabinet."

"Thanks. I think I'll take you up on that." He closed the distance between them, reaching for her hand. "It's gonna be fine. Don't worry, sweetheart."

She wanted to believe that, but when she thought about everything she stood to lose, she couldn't calm her fears. "I hope you're right."

He kissed her forehead. "I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay." She made her way down the hall, grateful to have a few minutes alone with Tyler before they dropped their bombshell.

Tyler was at the door, looking out the stained glass window. "Zach's car is still here. Why?"

Rennie's heart raced, but showing fear would be the worst mistake she could make. "He spent the night." She hoped it wouldn't come as too much of a shock. He'd never seen her with a man other than Nathan, and while they'd talked about the possibility of her dating Zach, they'd never talked about him spending the night.

"With you?" he asked, swinging his head to meet her gaze.

His dark eyes were steady and unwavering. So much like Zach's. Rennie almost shuddered. "Yes, with me."

"Why?" Rennie felt heat rise up her neck, but she refused to give in to embarrassment. "So you guys are together now? Like a couple?" Tyler frowned.

"I guess you could say that." Rennie wanted to reach out to him, but she was afraid it would anger him. She let her words settle in. "How do you feel about that?"

A slow grin spread across his face. "Uh, my mom's dating a professional baseball player. I think I'm okay with that."

At least that was one hurdle overcome. "I'm glad." She met his smile with one of her own. "Zach was a very important part of my life for a long time. I think he could be again, but only if you're okay with it."

"What was the real deal with you two?" he asked, crossing his arms.

In many ways, Tyler was mature beyond his years, but Rennie still needed to protect him. "We..." Rennie cleared her throat. She definitely needed reinforcements for that conversation. "You know what, why don't we talk about that over breakfast? Zach should be out of the shower soon. Can you give me a hand setting the table?" She didn't wait for his response, but she was relieved when he followed her into the kitchen.

"So can I, like, start telling people that my mom's boyfriend is the Zach Foster?" Tyler asked, grinning as he took the plates out of the cupboard.

"We're not ready to announce it in the newspaper, if that's what you're asking." Rennie cursed her trembling hands as she tried to measure coffee. They may have crossed the first hurdle without stumbling, but that was only the beginning. Tyler thought having Zach as his mother's boyfriend would give him bragging rights, but how would he feel when he knew the whole story?

"Speak for yourself," Zach said, laughing. He stood in the doorway of her small kitchen, looking positively edible fresh from the shower. Rennie was reminded of all the mornings they'd shared a shower before work or school. As if she should be thinking about that. What was wrong with her?

"Hey, Zach," Tyler said, smiling at him.

"Hey yourself, kid. You okay with me spending the night?"

"Mom says you guys are a couple now," Tyler said, shooting an amused look at his mother.

"Tyler!" Rennie cried, her cheeks burning. "I didn't say that... exactly." She pursed her lips and returned her attention to the coffee when she realized she was digging herself an even deeper hole. Zach chuckled, making her want to smack him. Nothing about their situation was funny. Couldn't he see that?

"So I was just asking her whether I could tell the guys that you're her boyfriend," Tyler said.

Rennie heard the amusement in Tyler's voice, and she didn't know who she should be angrier with: Tyler for starting it or Zach for playing along. "And I told you--"

"I wish you would," Zach said. "Ask them to spread the word. I saw the way some of those single dads were checking out your mom at your game the other night, and to be honest, I'm not big on competition. If they know she's mine, maybe they'll back off."

"I can pretty much guarantee they would," Tyler said, laughing with Zach.

"I'm glad you were both able to have a laugh at my expense this morning," Rennie said, glaring at them. "But could you make yourselves useful and set the table? This kitchen isn't big enough for all three of us."

"Gee," Zach muttered, reaching for the utensils Tyler handed him, "is this how it's going to be? I've only been her boyfriend for a day, and she's already telling me what to do. Maybe I should rethink this whole thing."

Rennie knew Zach was joking to get a laugh out of Tyler, but that was what she was afraid of. How long would it be before he tired of her and the boring life of domesticity and decided he wanted to return to a carefree life as the city's most eligible bachelor?

"She's not so bad," Tyler said. "She can be a little bossy, but--"

"I heard that, young man," Rennie said, her mouth twitching. In spite of her reservations, it was nice to see Zach and Tyler getting along so well. It would be great if they really could be the kind of family she'd always imagined. Living in the hometown they both loved, close to their families, raising their son together... In Rennie's mind, that sounded like the perfect life, but could her fantasy ever be their reality?

# Chapter Seventeen

Zach pushed his plate aside and made eye contact with Rennie. It was time. They'd talked and laughed, told Tyler stories about their past, but it was time to tell him the truth. "So, you've got to be wondering how this all happened so fast. Am I right, Tyler?" Zach reached for his coffee mug. He was going for nonchalance, but he suspected he was failing miserably.

"I guess," he said, shrugging. "Mom usually takes an hour just to make her grocery list."

Rennie frowned at her son but said nothing. True, she wasn't impulsive. Except when it came to Zach. With him, she couldn't seem to help herself.

"Remember I told you I wanted to marry your mom when we were young?" Zach asked, leaning forward.

"Yeah." Tyler leaned forward too as though he expected his hero to share a big secret with him. "What about it?"

"Your mom wanted to marry me too. In fact, we were engaged once." Zach swallowed, hoping he could get through the conversation without Tyler guessing how nervous he was.

"Seriously?" He looked at his mom. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I don't know," she said, stealing a glance at Zach. "I guess it didn't seem important."

Ouch. That hurt, but Zach let it slide. He had more pressing issues than his wounded ego.

"Not important?" Tyler asked incredulously. "You were gonna marry a professional-freakin'-baseball player, and you act like it's no big deal." He hooked a thumb toward Zach. "He could have been my dad." His eyes shifted down, and Zach sensed he felt guilty for betraying Nathan. "Not that I--"

"It's okay, buddy," Zach said, smiling. "We know what you meant."

"So what happened?" Tyler looked from his mom to Zach. "Why didn't you guys get married?"

Rennie stole a glance at Zach before she said, "I--"

"We realized we weren't ready." At least she thought he wasn't, but she couldn't have been more wrong. He would marry her today, tomorrow, or ten years ago.

"Huh," Tyler said, obviously considering Zach's explanation. "Is that when you met Dad?"

Zach clenched his fist, hoping it wasn't obvious to anyone else. Dad. Even though he'd done nothing to earn the title, he wanted it more than he'd ever wanted a World Series ring.

"I met"--she looked at Zach--"Nathan a little while after I moved to Florida." She looked her son in the eye and covered his hand with her own. "I was already expecting you at the time."

"What?" he asked, withdrawing his hand.

Zach reached for Rennie's hand across the table. "Your mom left town because she was pregnant with you, and she wasn't sure I was ready to be a father." Zach wanted to spare Tyler the gory details, but he refused to make Rennie out to be the villain.

"What're you talking about?" Tyler slid his chair back, scraping it across the dining room's hardwood floor. "Are you sayin'..."

"I'm your dad, Tyler," Zach whispered, fearing his son's reaction.

"No, you're not!" He jumped up, tipping the oak chair over in the process. "My dad died in a fire! Tell him, Mom."

Zach sucked in a breath, wishing he could say or do something to make it easier for all of them, especially Tyler. "I know it's going to take you some time to--"

"Why didn't you want me?" Tyler asked Zach, his big brown eyes filling with tears.

Zach had taken a few hits to the stomach, but none had felt that bad. His son's question knocked the wind out of him, and he needed a minute to collect himself before he could respond. Tyler wasn't about to wait around. He was already headed for the door. "Tyler, wait!" Zach shouted, jumping up. "I would've wanted you. I didn't even know your mom was pregnant when she left town." Zach realized his error as soon as the words slipped from his mouth. He hadn't intended to say that since it would only hurt Rennie's relationship with Tyler.

Tyler turned on his mother, his eyes blazing. "You didn't tell him? He didn't even know about me?"

Rennie rushed to Tyler's side. "Honey, we both made mistakes. We were young and--"

"Just answer me, Mom," Tyler said, obviously trying to be brave and hold back the tears. "Did he know about me or not?"

"No, he didn't," Rennie said, dropping her head. "I'm sorry I didn't tell him, but you had Nathan. I thought--"

"But he wasn't my real dad!" Tyler broke free from her grip. "Did he know that?"

"Yes, of course he knew." Tears fell down her cheeks. "He knew everything."

"Then you both lied to me?" Tears spilled from his eyes as well. "I hate you! I hate both of you. I'm glad that liar's dead. I wish you were too!" Rennie gasped and fell back on her heels. Tyler took advantage of her shock to run out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

"We have to go after him," Rennie cried, reaching for the door.

"It's okay, baby," Zach said, holding her back. "Just give him a little time. He'll be back."

"But what if he doesn't come back?" she asked, sobbing. "What if..." Zach held her tight, wishing he could take away her pain. Rennie buried her face in Zach's shirt. "He hates me. You heard him. He hates me. I was afraid of this. We shouldn't have told him."

"Yes, we should have," Zach said, stroking her hair. He was stunned how much he already loved Tyler, how much he wanted to spare his feelings and protect him. "We did the right thing. The truth is out. We just have to be patient with him while he figures out how to deal with this."

"How is a ten-year-old boy supposed to know how to deal with something like this?" She stepped out of his arms. "He's too young. He's been through too much. First Nathan's death and now this. It's not fair."

"No, it's not," Zach said, looking out the window over her shoulder. "Tyler was the innocent victim in all this. I made the mistake. It's not fair that he should have to pay for it."

Rennie covered her mouth. "It's not your fault; it's mine. I never should have left. I should have told you the truth."

"None of that matters now, Ren," he said, kissing the top of her head. "There's enough blame to go around. Let's just focus on getting each other through this. Tyler's going to need us, both of us, and we need to be there for him."

She leaned against his chest. "You're right. I just hope he'll let me be there for him."

***

Zach didn't have to drive far to find his son. He knew exactly where to find him--at the nearest baseball diamond. That was where Zach always went to work through his problems as a kid. He pulled into the gravel parking lot, half-expecting Tyler to run when he spotted his car. The boy just hung his head and slumped his shoulders, obviously trying to ignore his unwelcome guest. Zach hated to see him in so much pain. He had to man up and be the father Tyler needed.

"Hey," Zach said, slowly approaching him. He didn't want to make Tyler bolt by coming on too strong. His bike was just a few feet away in case he wanted to make a quick getaway. "I thought I might find you here." When Tyler didn't respond, Zach eased down on the bench beside him. "I used to come here all the time as a kid. Sometimes I thought about sleeping on this bench just to get away from my parents."

"Really? You hated your parents too?" Tyler scowled as he looked sideways at Zach.

Tyler obviously wasn't ready to make nice, and Zach couldn't say he blamed the kid. His life had just been turned upside down, and he'd need time to make peace with the parents who he believed betrayed him. Zach decided honesty was the best policy. He knew Tyler wouldn't appreciate it if he tried to blow smoke. "Sometimes I did. I guess every kid hates their parents from time to time, right?"

"Yeah, but every kid doesn't have an old man who didn't want him and a mother who lied to him."

Zach was hurt hearing Tyler say he felt unwanted, but he couldn't blame the poor kid. He probably would have felt the same way. "Your mama loves you. She was just trying to do what she thought was best for you."

Tyler rolled his eyes and pulled his worn baseball cap down. "She's always preachin' to me about bein' honest, and it turns out she's the biggest liar of all."

"Sometimes we all make bad choices. She's not perfect. Neither am I. Neither are you." He hated to hear Tyler bad-mouthing Rennie, but he would rather Tyler unleash on him than his mother. He knew his son had to get the anger out of his system.

"At least I'm not a liar."

"Really? You've never told even a little white lie?"

"This is a lot more than that." His voice broke, and he turned his face away, obviously hoping to hide his tears. "She lied to me about who my dad was. I loved Nathan and--"

"From what I've heard, he loved you too. A lot." It wasn't easy for Zach to reassure Tyler about Nathan's feelings, but he had to do it to help his son heal.  "Enough to want to raise you as his own son."

"Which means he loved me a hell of a lot more than you did," Tyler spit out.

Zach knew he should reprimand him for his choice of words, but that wasn't the moment to act paternal. Zach needed to just be there for Tyler. They had their whole lives to sort out their relationship. "I would have loved you, had I known about you." It was a vicious circle. He couldn't accept all of the blame without reinforcing Tyler's belief that Zach didn't love or want him. Everything came back to the secret Rennie had kept from them, but Zach was as much to blame for that as she was.

"That's easy to say now, isn't it?"

Zach was struck by how Tyler looked like a ten-year-old boy with an old soul trapped inside of him. He saw it in his eyes. "I guess it is. Hindsight is twenty-twenty and all that B.S." At least that earned him a half-smile. "I don't wanna lie to you about the way things were. I was a selfish, stupid kid who didn't know a good thing when he had it." Zach sighed and leaned back against the bench behind them. "I thought my world began and ended with baseball. Turns out I was wrong."

"Really?" Tyler asked. "What could be more important than baseball?"

"You. Your mom." At the moment, they were the only things that mattered to Zach. If he was told he'd never throw another fastball, he'd survive. If Rennie and his son boarded a plane out of his life, he'd comb every city in the world until he found them.

"Why should I believe you? You said yourself you didn't want me then. Why should I believe you want me now?"

He was a smart kid. The fact that he was astute enough to question Zach proved he was a fighter, and Zach respected that. "You don't have to believe me. But I'd really appreciate a chance to prove it to you."

Tyler remained silent a few minutes. "I have a poster of you hanging on my bedroom wall. My mom wasn't too keen on me putting it up. I guess now I know why."

It couldn't have been easy for Rennie to have reminders of Zach everywhere, especially in the eyes of the child they shared. "I'm not a hero, Tyler. I'm just a man who plays baseball for a living. I make mistakes like everyone else, but the biggest mistake I ever made was letting your mama leave me."

"Why'd you let her?"

"I looked for her for a while. When the detective I hired couldn't find her, I realized she really didn't want to be found, so I decided to let her go."

Tyler rubbed his face before propping his elbows on his knees. "Would you have let her go if you knew about me?"

"No, never." He took a risk and put a hand on Tyler's back. "I hope you can believe that."

"I don't know what to believe."

Zach appreciated his honesty and respected his strength of character. Having the rug ripped out from under him not once, but twice in the past year and a half wasn't easy. His son was coping better than most adults would. Zach wanted to believe it was because, deep down, Tyler sensed how much Zach loved him and wanted to be a part of his life. Only time would allow him to prove himself to Rennie and Tyler. "I want to ask you to believe me, but I know you can't. Yet. I hope a year from now you'll feel differently."

"What do you want?" Tyler asked, fisting his hands. "From me and my mom?"

"I want us to be a family." Zach let that sink in. "Do you think you could see that happening?"

"I don't know."

"That's fair. You can take all the time you need to get to know me, to figure out how you feel about me. There's no hurry. I'm not going anywhere."

Tyler refused to look at Zach when he said, "My dad was a good man. I loved him."

Zach slowly drew in a breath, knowing he had to tread carefully. "Nathan sounds like a great guy. He was there for you and your mom when y'all needed someone, and I'll be forever indebted to him for that. I'm glad you had someone to take care of you, to show you how to throw a baseball--"

"You should have been the one to do that!" Tyler shouted. "You were my dad! Nathan was just some guy who loved my mom."

Zach leaned in and put his arm around Tyler. When Tyler struggled, Zach's injured shoulder screamed. "You're right, I should have been. I'm sorrier than hell that I wasn't. I can promise you that'll go down as my biggest regret in life." When Tyler stopped struggling, Zach let his arm fall away. "But we can't change what happened. We only have today and tomorrow and every day after that to make things right. Please, let me try to make things right."

"Why should I?" Tyler asked, biting his trembling lip.

"Because I love you."

"You don't even know me."

"I don't have to." Zach had never understood parents who said they fell in love with their infants the second they laid eyes on them. He understood now. "I know that I love you. I hope in time, you'll learn to love me too."

"I don't know." Tyler squeezed his eyes shut.

"That's okay," Zach said quietly. "You don't have to decide anything right now. Let's get you home."

"I don't want to go home. I don't want to see her."

Zach figured that pressuring him would be a mistake. "Do you want to come back to my place for a while?"

"No!"

"Okay, how 'bout I take you to your grandparents? I could swing by your place and pick up an overnight bag, get your insulin, and let your mom know the plan. How does that sound?"

Tyler shrugged. "I guess."

Zach knew Rennie wouldn't be thrilled, but at least she'd know their son was safe. It was better than having him out wandering the streets, mad at the world.

***

Rennie was at the door when Zach pulled in the driveway. Her heart sank when she saw that he was alone. "You couldn't find him?" She clutched the cordless phone. "Maybe I should call the police."

"I found him. He wanted to spend the night at your parents' place. I just came by to pick up some of his things. I told him I'd drop them off for him."

"Oh." Rennie stepped back so Zach could enter. She should be happy that Zach had found Tyler and he was safe, but she didn't want him to run to her parents. They needed to sit down and talk it out as a family. That's what they were, whether they liked or not.

"You just need to give him a little time." He reached for her hand. "He'll come around."

"What if he doesn't?" That was her biggest fear. She'd watched TV programs about addiction, and traumatic life experiences often created addicts. Had her desire to protect her son set him up for a lifetime of pain and resentment?

"He will," Zach said soothingly. "Come on. Let's sit down for a bit before we get Tyler's things together."

The way he said that led her to believe they would be packing for more than one night. At least she could call her mother to make sure he was all right, that he'd eaten well and taken his medication. He'd spent the night with his grandparents before, so they knew the protocol, but he'd never left home hating her before. Rennie allowed Zach to lead her into the living room. She felt numb, as if the entire morning, and even the magical night she'd spent with Zach, had been a dream. She and her son had always been close. If they were torn apart, she didn't know how she would cope. Losing Nathan was bad enough. Losing Tyler was unthinkable.

"I know you're worried," Zach said when she sat on the sofa and folded her chest over her knees. "But I think Tyler is reacting the way any kid would. He's hurt, confused, and angry. When he's had time to think about it, he'll realize you were only doing what you thought you had to in order to protect him. If he's going to hate anyone, it'll be me."

When Rennie heard the anguish in Zach's voice, she stole a glance at him. He looked almost as distraught as she was. She'd had Tyler's unconditional love for the past ten years; Zach had only received his son's hero worship for a matter of days. Still, she saw it was tearing him up. Reaching for his hand, she leaned back and closed her eyes. "You really think he'll come around?"

He mimicked her actions, closing his eyes on a heavy sigh. "I do, and whatever we need to do to help him get through it, we will. But right now, I think he just needs a little time and space to process all this."

"You're probably right." Tyler was a stubborn, opinionated kid, just like his dad. When he made up his mind, it was difficult to change it. She just hoped he was willing to reserve judgement before convicting her for being the worst mother on the planet. She'd learn to ignore other people's judgement, but her son's opinion was one of the few who still mattered. Her son and the man sitting beside her. "Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

Zach rewarded her with a wry grin. "Would I be here trying to comfort you if I did?"

"I don't know. I'm still the mother of your child, after all."

"The mother of my child." Zach smiled as he stared into her eyes. "I love the sound of that."

"Do you?" She sucked in a breath when she saw the emotion in his eyes. Despite the way the morning had turned out, Zach seemed genuinely relieved the truth was out. Rennie wished she could say the same. "It's a big commitment, raising a child."

"I'm ready." He looked at their joined hands. "This is the way it should have been all along. You and me, raising our son. Facing challenges as a team. Maybe with a couple more kids thrown into the mix." He flashed a quick grin that made her heart flutter. "You belong to me. I belong to you. That's the way it's always been, the way it was meant to be."

She used to believe that with all her heart, but they were different people. They couldn't pretend the past ten years hadn't happened. Her life would have been so different had she stayed with Zach all those years ago, but they may not have survived as a couple or a family if she'd made a different choice. It was all just pointless speculation.

"You're not ready to believe that, are you?" he asked.

"I'm not ready to try to figure out what this means for us. My first priority has to be Tyler and helping him through this."

"I know, but you can't deny how you feel forever, Ren. I see it in your eyes when you look at me. You want the same things I want. You want that family we always talked about, the life I promised you when we were too young and stupid to know we had to hold on with everything we had."

She closed her eyes when it became too painful to face the hope and expectation in his eyes. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she was afraid to give herself over to a fantasy that had nearly destroyed her. "I should help you get Tyler's things together." She didn't want to talk anymore about the past or the future or the son they shared. She just wanted to be alone to sort out her thoughts.

Zach let her lead him down the hall toward Tyler's bedroom. He stood in the doorway taking in the baseball paraphernalia cluttering the small room. There was a poster of Zach above the bed, and the signed baseball he'd given him for his birthday sat in a prominent place on the dresser.

"You really are his hero, you know," Rennie said, reaching into the closet to retrieve a small overnight bag. She didn't think she could let him stay away longer than a night or two. "So many times he told me he wanted to be just like you." She walked to the dresser to retrieve his pajamas. "One night after Nathan died, he was lying in bed reading some sports magazine. He told me he wanted to be a pitcher just like you." Zach slid his hand into his pocket and swallowed. "He said you were the best." Her voice broke. "I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I felt like the worst person, the most horrible mother. I was so ashamed of what I'd done, the choices I'd made."

Zach entered the small room, took the bag and pajamas from Rennie's hands, and set them on the twin bed. "You're an amazing mom." He held her. "If anyone's to blame here, it's me. For being stupid and selfish. If I hadn't said those things, we wouldn't be in this mess. I wouldn't have lost you, and I wouldn't have lost out on the opportunity to be a father to that amazing kid."

Rennie appreciated his effort to share the blame, but it didn't ease her guilt. Tyler may be angry at Zach for a while, but eventually Tyler would understand that if Zach was guilty of anything, it was being young and immature. She was guilty of lying to him. It seemed like an unforgivable sin. "I just want my son back." She sniffled, burying her head in his chest.

"You haven't lost him, baby. He'll be back. You'll see."

"But what if he doesn't want to come back?" she asked, squeezing her eyes shut. "What if he wants to live with my parents? Maybe he'll ask to live with you." Even with only one arm around her, Zach made her feel safe. She couldn't hide from the truth in the safety of his arms forever. Eventually she had to face the possibility that she'd lost her son... forever.

"If he wants to live with me, he's gonna be stuck with you too. I can promise you that."

Rennie tipped her head back to see him smiling at her. She knew he was trying to reassure her, to make her feel better. Thinking about a life with Zach still scared her. "Zach, I--"

"I know," he said, kissing her forehead. "You don't wanna talk about this right now. I'm cool with that. Let's get Tyler's stuff together."

Rennie sensed she'd hurt his feelings, but with her own heart breaking, it was difficult to think about mending his.

# Chapter Eighteen

Zach sat in the driveway of the Baldwins' house and looked at the modest structure that had been like a second home to him during his teen years. The people he'd considered his second parents who were supposed to be his in-laws, they were family. His son's grandparents. He smiled at the thought as he climbed out of the car with Tyler's overnight bag. Things were working out. No matter how torturous the path getting there had been, the destination was the same.

Marian met him at the back door, a tentative smile on her face. "I heard your car. Chuck took Tyler to the park. He thought hitting a few balls might help to take his mind off things."

Zach bent to kiss Marian's cheek as he dropped the bag in the foyer. "Probably a good idea. How did he seem to you?" Zach feared he already knew the answer. The boy had tried so hard to put on a brave face when Zach dropped him off earlier, but the anguish behind his fake smile was painfully obvious.

"He'll be okay, honey," Marian said, patting his forearm. "He just needs a little time to sort all this out. It's a lot for a child to take in."

"That's what I told Ren." Zach let Marian take his hand and lead him into the kitchen. "That it's just gonna take some time. This is killing her though."

"I know." Marian gestured to a chair at the head of the table. "She called me after you left her house. She wanted to know how Tyler was."

"What'd you tell her?" Zach hoped Marian had sugar-coated the truth.

Marian reached for two coffee mugs in the overhead cabinet. "That he's a kid who's had his world turned upside down. Right now, he sees this as a safe place, and it will be for as long as he needs it. I don't want to come between my daughter and grandson, but I won't send him home until he feels he's ready."

Zach sighed. He feared that's the stance Marian would have taken. She was a strong-willed woman, much like her daughter, and if the issue wasn't resolved quickly, they may butt heads over it. It would be up to him and Chuck to try to mediate. "I don't want Tyler to blame his mother for her choices, Marian. She was doing what she felt she had to in order to protect him. I want that to be the message he receives from all of us." He didn't want her fueling their son's anger by making him believe his anger was justified. That wouldn't serve any of them.

Marian set the cups on the table and claimed the chair next to Zach. She narrowed her eyes, observing him carefully. "You're telling me you don't harbor any ill-will toward my daughter for keeping your son from you?"

Zach had expected that question. Marian wasn't the type to bite her tongue. When something was on her mind, she always faced it head on. He'd admired that about her before. He needed more time to process his feelings, and he wished Rennie's mother could understand that. "I love your daughter. Always have, always will." He took a sip of his coffee, awaiting the response he knew would come.

"That's not what I asked and you know it."

Zach barely suppressed a sigh. "I'm angry at the whole situation, if you want to know the truth. I'm mad at myself for saying all the stupid things that drove Ren away. I'm mad at her for letting another man raise my kid--" He stopped before he said more than he should. It was time to let go, not hold on to the pain that had already ruined their lives.

Marian patted his hand with a sympathetic smile. "You're right to be angry. Any man would be in your place." Sitting back, she picked up her mug. "I'm angry too. Angry that my daughter felt she had to lie to me about who my grandson's father was."

Zach looked her in the eye. He didn't believe for a second she hadn't suspected the truth. "You must have known. The timing, the similarities between me and Tyler... You're a smart woman. You must have seen the signs."

She took a sip of her coffee and set the cup on the table, her hands coiled around the brightly colored ceramic mug naming her World's Best Grandma. "At first I believed her. She'd never lied to me before, that I know of. When she told me she met someone a few weeks after she left home, that they'd had a brief affair, I had no reason to doubt her. I knew she was hurt and angry with you. It wasn't so difficult to believe she would turn to another man for comfort."

Just the thought of Rennie turning to another man for the comfort he should have provided made Zach fist his hand on the tabletop. "But when Tyler was born, didn't the dates--"

"He was born a few weeks premature. That's what Rennie told us." Marian shook her head. "I still can't believe she went to so much trouble to cover up the fact that you were Tyler's father."

Hearing the story from Rennie's mother hurt even more. Zach could only imagine what Rennie must have been going through. Alone in a strange city with a baby to care for and no one to call on for support... except Nathan, of course. It was no wonder she had fallen in love with him. He must have seemed like the only person she could count on.

"I began to question it as Tyler got older. I saw so much of you in him."

"Yet you never confronted Rennie? Why?" If she had, maybe, just maybe, Zach wouldn't have missed out on so many years with his son. He couldn't dwell on that though. Those years were lost to him forever, and he had to focus on the years he had left.

"I wanted to, but I was afraid of alienating her. Chuck and I saw so little of her as it was--maybe once or twice a year. She'd built a life for herself with Nathan, and she seemed happy. I didn't want to jeopardize that, so I kept my mouth shut and let my daughter live as she saw fit. I figured if she was living with that secret, it was already torturing her. You know Rennie. She's as honest as the day is long."

Even when they were teens, Rennie had felt guilty telling her parents a little white lie so they could spend more time together. His buddies questioned their girlfriends about where they'd been and who they'd been with, but he'd never thought to ask Rennie those questions. He trusted her. "I know. She loved Nathan?" He didn't even know why he'd asked. He should just let it go. Rennie told him she had, but he knew Marian would be honest about her daughter's marriage.

"There are all different kinds of love," Marian said quietly, as she smoothed the handmade place mat beneath her cup.

"What does that mean?"

"There's the love you feel for your soul mate and the love you feel for the person you feel rescued you from a life of misery."

Zach's heart pounded. "Go on."

"Rennie was always a strong-willed girl. I'm sure she never would have thought she needed rescuing, but having a baby all alone in a strange city, so far away from home, proved to her that sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to lean on. Nathan was her shoulder to lean on."

"When they first started dating..." Zach knew he was crazy for asking for details. He should wait until Rennie was ready to confide in him, but their relationship couldn't move forward with Nathan still between them. "Was she happy?"

"They started out as friends." Marian smiled. "I was glad she had someone like him next door. He was always there to help her with Tyler. I can't say I was surprised when they started seeing each other. From the first time I met him, I saw how much he loved my daughter. I knew it was only a matter of time before she realized she could do a lot worse."

Zach frowned. "You make it sound like she settled for him. Is that how it was?" He'd always wanted the best for Rennie. He hated to think she'd settled for less than she deserved.

"When you love someone the way she loved you, everyone else will seem like they're lacking something." She raised her head and pinned Zach with her blue gaze. "It's an intangible quality. On paper, they seem like your perfect mate and you know you should love them, but you can't quite let go of the past."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"My mother." Her eyes shimmered just a little. "She fell in love with a soldier. When he went off to war, she promised she would wait for him. He never came home. I don't think she ever got over it."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Zach said. He'd met Rennie's grandmother a few times before she died, but Rennie's maternal grandfather had passed years before he and Rennie met.

"You were Rennie's soldier."

"Excuse me?" Zach asked, frowning.

"My mother never stopped loving her solider. Even though she built a life with my father, she never forgot about that man. The one who took her heart to his grave with him."

Zach sat motionless. He wanted to believe with everything he had that Rennie had been passing the years as he had--still loving him with her whole heart.

"I know what it's like to watch someone trade the life they want for the life they feel they deserve. Rennie felt guilty for leaving without telling you the truth, and she was punishing herself by staying away. Don't get me wrong, she loved Nathan as much as she could, but he wasn't you. No man will ever take your place in Rennie's heart."

Zach closed his eyes as relief swamped him. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"Now it's up to you to make Rennie believe she can trust you with her heart." She looked at him sternly, pointing her finger. "I'm warning you, if you break it again, you'll answer to me."

"Yes, ma'am." He grinned and leaned across the table to kiss her cheek.

***

Three. That's how many days of misery Rennie had endured since Tyler left their home. Tyler had come down with the stomach flu, and he'd been sick in bed ever since yesterday. It was the first time Rennie hadn't been with him during an illness, and it was adding to her torment. According to her parents, he wasn't ready to come home or even talk to her. Every time the phone rang, she prayed it was him. Disappointment settled like a rock in her stomach when she realized it wasn't.

"Are you listening to me?" Terri asked.

Rennie looked up, embarrassed at being caught up in her own thoughts at work. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Terri sighed and turned her swivel chair to face Rennie. "I know you're going through hell, but he's gonna come home, hon."

Rennie had confided in her friend first thing Monday morning. She couldn't hold back the tears that fell when she saw Tyler's smiling face staring back at her from her desk. "I know." She didn't know for sure that Tyler would come home, but she had to hold on to the hope that he could forgive her. He had to know how much she loved him, how much she had sacrificed to spare him the pain of growing up with a father who didn't want him.

Zach. How could she have known he would do a one-eighty? When he told his brother he may not be ready to start a family until his professional baseball career ended, she'd taken him at his word. Was it her fault he'd changed his mind and that Tyler had been robbed of precious years with a dad who did, in fact, want a relationship with him?

"Have you spoken to Zach?" Terri asked, looking as though she was afraid to ask. Her normally calm and collected boss was on the emotional edge, and she clearly didn't want to set her off.

"He's called a few times." Rennie sighed. It wasn't fair to shut him out, but she couldn't think about the future until she got her son back.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No." She wanted to give some reasonable excuse, but she couldn't. "Honestly, I don't know what to say to him. I think I know what he wants, but--"

"But you're not sure of what you want?" Terri asked. "Does that mean you're not sure if you still have feelings for him?"

She couldn't deny her feelings for Zach, but that didn't mean he was good for her. He was still the man who'd broken her heart, and he had a lot to prove about his commitment to their son. Talk was cheap. She wanted to see evidence before she allowed herself to go down that road again. "I have feelings for him." Rennie sighed when her computer went into sleep mode. She wished she could pull the covers over her head and wake up when the whole nightmare was over. "But that doesn't mean it's in Tyler's best interest for me to pursue those feelings. He needs stability, and let's face it, Zach's life is anything but stable. He could get traded tomorrow for all we know."

"And either one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow," Terri said. "Does that mean we stop living because we're afraid of what may or may not happen?"

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" Rennie didn't consider herself a fearful person. She routinely stepped out of her comfort zone to try new things, but they were talking about giving her heart to the one man who'd already proven he wasn't worthy. Could she really take that kind of risk?

"Isn't it?" Terri asked, reaching for her latte. "It's easy to go through the motions, Ren, to live life on the safe side so you never get hurt, but is that really what you want?"

"What if things don't work out between me and Zach? What would that do to Tyler?"

"He's a resilient kid," Terri said softly. "He'd be okay. But what about you? If you never took a chance on Zach, can you honestly tell me you'd be okay with that?"

Could she? The cell phone on her desk rang, and Zach's name flashed across the screen. She wanted to hit ignore, but she was tired of being a coward. "Hey, Zach."

"Hey, yourself. Is Tyler feeling any better?"

"I talked to Mama this morning. She said his fever is down, but he's still weak and tired."

"How's his appetite?"

The wall Rennie had built around herself crumbled a little more. He sounded like a concerned father. "He's not eating much, but I asked my parents to make sure he eats something small every few hours and drinks water. If his blood sugar gets too low, that could be dangerous."

"Have they taken him to the doctor?" Zach asked. "I tried to call their house yesterday, but there was no answer."

"They were probably at the doctor then. That's the only time they've left the house, to my knowledge." Covering her eyes, she said, "I hate to burden them with this. I should be with him. Not my parents."

"We should be with him," Zach corrected. Rennie didn't respond. "Look, we need to talk. Can I come over tonight? I'll even bring dinner."

She hadn't had much of an appetite since Tyler left, but she appreciated Zach's thoughtfulness. "You don't have to bring dinner. I--"

"You haven't been eating, have you?" When silence followed his question, he swore softly. "Damn it, Ren, you need to take care of yourself. Tyler needs you. I need you."

She didn't know that Tyler would agree, but it was nice to know someone needed her. The question remained could she allow herself to need Zach? "Fine, you can come over. I should be home by six."

"That works for me." Before he hung up, he said, "I can't wait to see you."

In spite of the fact her life was in turmoil, she couldn't wait to see him either.

# Chapter Nineteen

Zach was at Rennie's door at half past six with a bag of Chinese food and a deep-seated fear that she would tell him he had no place in her life. He knew she wouldn't try to shut him out of Tyler's life, but that didn't mean she had to welcome him back in to hers. Unless he could convince her loving him was like betting on a sure thing.

Rennie opened the door with a forced smile and stepped back to let him enter. She'd obviously changed clothes after work. She was wearing black yoga pants and a turquoise tank top. Her hair was in a ponytail, and her face was free of makeup. Had it not been, he may not have noticed the faint dark smudges under her eyes.

"I don't have to ask if you've been sleeping." He kissed her cheek. "Obviously you haven't."

"My ten-year-old son has run away from home. How do you expect me to sleep or eat or pretend that everything is normal?" She was fighting back tears.

He put the food down on a small oak table that stored her mail and keys and pulled her close. His sore shoulder meant he couldn't hold her the way he wanted to, but he sensed she just needed someone to put their arms around her and tell her everything would work out. "That kid loves you, Ren. Anyone can see that. Sure, he's mad at both of us, and he has every right to be. But that doesn't mean he won't feel differently in a day or week. The more time that passes, the more he's going to miss you." He smiled. "Trust me, I've been there. I know."

Rennie smiled as though she appreciated his effort to add levity to the situation. "I have to admit, that does smell good." She eyed the bag.

"You want to eat outside? It's a beautiful night."

She lifted a shoulder. "Sure, why not?"

She obviously wasn't enthused about eating or spending the night in his company, but at least she'd agreed to talk. In his mind, that was a step in the right direction. "Why don't you grab the plates, and I'll take this outside?"

"Should I open a bottle of wine?" she asked.

He hadn't taken his pain medication tonight since he'd suspected she may need a drink or two. Rennie wasn't the type to drink alone. "Sounds good."

Once outside, he took a moment to admire her backyard. It wasn't large, but it was lovingly tended with carefully trimmed shrubs and brightly colored blooms in each of the flowerbeds. There was a large area for tossing the baseball or throwing a stick to a puppy, and it was fully fenced. Even if he couldn't convince Rennie and their son to come live with him, he could happily spend time there with them until they were ready.

Rennie stepped outside and closed the patio door. "Here are the plates and utensils. I just have to go back in for the wine."

Zach made a face. "You know I don't use a fork to eat Chinese food."

She laughed. "And you know if I have to use chopsticks, I'll starve to death."

It was so nice to hear her laugh again. "You still haven't mastered them, huh?"

"I don't think I ever will."

"If you ask nicely, I might give you another lesson."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said, her lips twitching with amusement.

He reached for her hand when she turned to step inside. "Ren, it's good to see you smile again." As soon as he said it, her smile slipped, making him wish he'd kept his big mouth shut.

"I haven't had much reason to smile lately."

He tried not to take offense. They were back in each other's lives after a decade apart. Wasn't that reason enough to be happy? "That'll change, sweetheart. You can't lose faith."

"Right." She released his hand. "I'll be right back."

Zach watched her go, wishing he could say something to convince her everything would work for them, but anything he said would only fall on deaf ears. Until Tyler was living under her roof, trying to ease her pain was a fruitless effort. After setting out the food, Zach sat and waited for her. He didn't have much of an appetite either. He hadn't been able to get Tyler off his mind. He wanted to reach out to him, but the kid had asked for space. Zach was trying to respect that.

"Here we go," Rennie said, returning with two glasses of white wine. "I hope you don't mind white?"

"No, it's fine." He didn't plan to drink much. He just wanted to give the impression he was joining her in case she needed a glass or two.

She placed the glasses on the table and sat down. Staring at her empty plate, her eyes swam with tears. "I hate this, Zach. He should be here with us."

"I know, baby." He reached for her hand. "He will be soon enough. Before you know it, we'll be sitting down to dinners like this all the time." At least he prayed they would. Only Tyler and Rennie could decide whether he would be invited to join them.

"I want to believe that." She withdrew her hand and reached for her wine glass. "But neither one of us know for sure what the future will bring."

"Even when you think you've got it all figured out, we know better than anybody that life can sometimes throw you a curveball." Their past would always be an obstacle until they found the courage to voice their grievances. As far as Zach was concerned, it was time. "Do you regret taking off when you did?" He watched her open the cartons of food and spoon rice and sweet and sour beef onto her plate.

"Every day."

"If you had it to do over..."

"I would've stayed here with my family and friends and raised my son. Whether you wanted to be a part of our lives would have been your call."

As if he could have stayed away. He'd spent a small fortune trying to find her. If he'd known she was carrying his child, nothing short of a restraining order would have made him keep his distance. "But then you wouldn't have met Nathan." Hearing the truth from her mother had been reassuring, but he needed to hear it from Rennie. He knew it was petty, but he couldn't let go of her marriage to someone else until he knew for certain she'd never stopped loving him.

"No, I wouldn't have." She popped a forkful of food into her mouth.

"You would have been okay with that?"

She chewed slowly and reached for her glass. "Nathan was there for me when I had no one else. He filled a void in my life. I loved him because he was a good man and a good friend."

That word love made Zach's blood boil. He hated hearing Rennie use it to describe her feelings for another man.

"If things had been different, I wouldn't have left." She paused, looking him in the eye. "I can see now that's how it should have been. I should have given you the chance to be a father to Tyler from the beginning, and that's a regret I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. I'm sorry that I hurt you and our son."

Zach reached for her hand and kissed it. "You did what you thought was best for him. I don't blame you for that. But I do blame you for letting yourself love someone else. I don't know how to forgive that." He was being totally irrational, but they'd promised to love only each other forever. He'd kept that promise. She hadn't.

Rennie looked stunned and tried to withdraw the hand he held. "It wasn't something I planned, Zach. He was my friend--"

"And your lover and the man you turned to when you should have been turning to me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me you didn't love him."

"I can't."

Zach knew he was expecting too much, but that didn't stop him. "I see."

"I loved Nathan, but not the way I loved you," she said quietly, squeezing his hand. "I think every person has one great love in their lives, if they're lucky enough to find them. You were mine. I never expected to replace you, but it was nice to have someone to share my life with. Nathan was there for me when I needed someone, and I'll always be grateful to him for that. He didn't think he was taking your place; he didn't even try to."

"I find that hard to believe, Ren. If a man's married to a woman like you, he's going to want to know that he's the one you're dreaming about."

Rennie looked as though she was struggling to hold it together. "It wasn't like that for us. I told Nathan about you just a few weeks after we met. He knew how much I loved you, that I'd built my world around you." Just hearing those things made Zach's heart ache for what they'd had and lost. "He wasn't trying to replace you. He was just trying to be there for me."

Zach should be grateful she had someone to turn to when she felt so alone, but he couldn't get past the fact she'd exchanged vows with that man. Looking at her hand, he noticed, for the first time, she wasn't wearing her wedding band. What did that mean? Was she ready to move on? With him?

"He was there for me. Every single day," she whispered. "I won't apologize for letting him into my life, but I won't pretend our marriage was something it wasn't either."

Zach had to bite his tongue and let her say as much or as little as she chose to. Pushing her would be a mistake that could cost him the fragile intimacy they'd just started to rebuild.

"He didn't make me feel the way you did. Ever. I used to feel guilty about that until I finally found the courage to tell Nathan how I felt."

"You told him?" Zach asked, surprised she'd told her husband she'd loved another man in a way she could never love him. "How did he react?"

"He said he knew that and he'd come to terms with it long before he asked me to marry him. He wanted me to stop torturing myself for the way I felt and learn to be grateful I'd been given a second chance at happiness with him. Even if it wasn't the script I would have written for myself, he reminded me we had a good life, and he was right."

Nathan wasn't a bad guy. In that moment, Zach almost felt sorry for him. Given the choice, he preferred living without Rennie, knowing that she still loved him, to sharing her bed knowing she was thinking about someone else. That would have been agony. "I'm glad he was there for you and Tyler when you needed someone. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish it was me, but since it couldn't have been, I'm glad it was him."

Rennie looked at him a long time. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do."

"Good," Rennie said, looking relieved. "Because that's really important to me. I don't want Tyler to forget Nathan. He was an important part of his life, and I want to always be able to honor his memory. Even when we're together, as a family, I don't want Tyler to feel uncomfortable mentioning Nathan."

Zach felt hope hearing her talking about the time when they would be a family. "I don't want that either. I know losing Nathan was hard for Tyler. Whatever I can do to make that easier, I'll do it because it's what's best for our son."

Rennie smiled and reached across the table to kiss him. "For the record, I've never stopped loving you, Zach."

He smiled against her lips, his heart swelling from the sweet words he would never tire of hearing. "For the record, I intend to make damn sure you never will."

***

Once Zach was finally satisfied she'd eaten enough, they retreated to the family room to put up their feet and watch a movie. Even though her heart was still heavy from missing Tyler, she was glad Zach was with her. Every moment they spent together brought them closer, and with every day that passed, he was earning her trust and proving that he was finally ready for the family and commitment she'd always wanted from him.

"What's it gonna be?" he asked, scrolling through their viewing options.

Rennie wrinkled her nose. "It doesn't matter. You choose but nothing too violent." She wasn't big on TV. Zach was being so sweet, affectionate, and attentive. He'd obviously realized the only thing she really needed was a hand to hold. She couldn't deny getting tangled up in the sheets with him would be a nice distraction... maybe later.

Zach glanced at her DVD collection beneath the large flat screen TV. "No way, you have Field of Dreams?" It had always been one of his favorite movies. "I haven't seen that in years. Do you mind?"

Rennie laughed at his boyish enthusiasm. "Be my guest." She watched the pull of his jeans as he leaned over to pop the movie into the player and grab the remote off the shelf. He was too sexy for words. She was lucky. Thousands of women would give their last dollar to trade places with her. "I'm glad you're here." She reached for his hand when he sat down beside her.

He looked at her, seemingly surprised by her statement. "I'm glad I'm here too, Ren. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Looking into his deep brown eyes, she saw the truth. He was still in love with her. He wanted a life with her and their son, and that made her hope she could make all of his dreams come true. She paused the movie. "I think we can have a great life together. You, me, and Tyler." She smiled when it looked as if he was holding his breath. "But it's going to take some time. I already know the kind of man you are, but Tyler doesn't. He has to get to know you, but I know that when he does, he'll feel blessed to be able to call you Dad."

Zach's grin split his face. "I can't wait to hear him call me that. I know it shouldn't matter so much, but it does."

Rennie ran her hand down his cheek. He hadn't shaved, and she loved the feel of stubble. "I can understand that. It's a pretty big deal."

"The big deal is you telling me that you want to build a life with me and our son. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I think I have some idea." She ran her thumb over his bottom lip. His eyes glazed over with the same lust that was making her pulse pound. "I do want that. Having you here tonight made me realize how much I want that. As bad as things seemed today, I couldn't imagine anything would make me feel better, but just having you here to hold my hand did."

He leaned in to nuzzle her neck. "Everything's going to work out for us this time. I promise."

Wrapping her arm around his neck, she reveled in the comfort of having him so close. "I believe you." She hadn't let another person soothe her fears in a long time, and the fact that person was Zach made her believe fate had a hand in it. If only Tyler would come around, everything would be perfect. When he kissed her neck, she tipped her head back, inviting more. No man's touch had ever made her feel the way Zach's did. Even if he stroked every inch of her body all night long, it still wouldn't be enough to satiate her craving for him. "How's your shoulder?" She stroked the hard muscles bunching beneath the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Getting better every day." He continued to nibble her neck, making it difficult for her to focus on his words. "I should be back in the game in a few weeks."

"Great." He would start traveling with the team again. She would only see him a couple of days a week, for short stretches, when he was home. But a few hours with Zach was worth a lifetime with anyone else. She'd been a fool to try to convince herself otherwise.

"Yeah, I'm anxious to get back out there." He slipped her tank strap down and placed open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder.

"Hmmm..." For all she knew he could have been talking about life on another planet. When his mouth traveled over her skin like that, the only thought in her head was more.

"The pain's not nearly as bad as it was in the beginning."

"Good." She was glad he didn't have to struggle through the pain anymore, but the only ache she could focus on was the one building inside of her. She needed him. Not just for one night, but every night for the rest of their lives. She wanted him to know that. "But I'll miss you when you're gone."

"That's what I like to hear." There was no amusement in his tone when he eased her back on the couch. "I need to know you'll be thinking about me as much as I'll be thinking about you."

"More," she whispered, reaching for the bottom of his shirt.

He held her wrist, halting her actions. "Marry me."

Her hands fell away as stunned shock displaced arousal. "What?"

"You heard me. I want to marry you."

Rennie inched away and propped her back against the arm of the sofa. She knew they would get there eventually, but it seemed too soon to think about forever. They were still getting to know each other again, and they had their son's feelings to consider.

He stroked her cheek as his eyes pleaded with her to understand. "You're the love of my life. The only woman who's ever made me think about forever. We were cheated out of that once before. I can't let that happen again."

She wrapped her hand around his wrist. "You don't have to propose to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm where I want to be, and you're the man I want to be with."

He sat back, breaking the physical contact. "I know I should be grateful just to have you in my life again, and I am, believe me. But I want more." A half-smile teased his lips. "If it makes me a selfish bastard, so be it, but I want you to wear my ring, share my last night. Can't you see how much it hurt me to see you wearing another man's ring, claiming another man's last name as your own? It should never have gone down that way. You were mine from the time we were old enough to know what love was. I want you to be mine again. Marry me, baby. Please."

She couldn't even think about accepting his proposal without Tyler's approval. Her decision would impact his life, and she wanted him to be on board. "I can't give you an answer until we talk to Tyler about it."

Zach smiled. "I don't think that's going to be a problem. Doesn't every kid want his parents to be together?"

"These are extenuating circumstances." Zach didn't need to be reminded of that, but one of them had to keep a clear head. It was too easy to get caught up in their feelings and forget they weren't free to rebuild a life together until their son wanted it as much as they did.

The phone rang and Zach whispered, "Ignore it."

Judging by the look in his eye, he wanted to get back to where they'd left off before he proposed. She was tempted until she saw her parents' number on the call display. "It could be Tyler. Hello?"

"Oh, honey, thank God I caught you," her mother said, sounding breathless.

The panic in her mother's voice inspired fear. Marian Baldwin wasn't the type to get hysterical without reason. "Is something wrong?" She caught Zach's concern out of the corner of her eye.

"The ambulance just took Tyler to the emergency room. Your dad went with him. I wanted to stay behind and try to reach you. My cell phone was dead and--"

"Mama, just tell me what's wrong with Tyler," she said, running a hand over her dishevelled hair. She jumped off the couch and slipped her feet into the flip-flops she'd abandoned. She ran into the foyer, grabbing her keys from the hall table.

"We think it's his blood sugar, or maybe dehydration," Marian said, clearly fighting back tears. "He's been taking his medication, but he's been vomiting so much. I tried to make sure he was eating and drinking, but maybe it wasn't enough. He started mumbling incoherently, and then he collapsed on his way to the bathroom. Oh, Rennie, this is all my fault."

"No, it's not," Rennie said, reaching for her purse. "You did the best you could. Zach's with me. We'll be at the hospital as soon as we can." Knowing they would take him to the nearest hospital, she estimated they shouldn't be more than twenty minutes away. "We'll meet you there, and try not to worry. I'm sure everything will be fine." She didn't wait for her mother's response. She didn't have time to waste. Her baby needed her.

"What the hell happened?" Zach asked, reaching for the keys in his pocket.

Rennie stepped outside and gestured for him to do the same. Her hands shook as she fumbled to lock the door. "My mother thinks it's either low blood sugar or dehydration because he's been vomiting so much." Zach pulled her into his arms, and while she didn't want to waste any time, her legs were trembling so badly she didn't think she could put one foot in front of the other. "Diabetics often slip into comas when their--"

"Don't even go there," Zach whispered, stroking her hair. "That's not gonna happen. Come on, let's get to the hospital and figure out what's going on with our son."

# Chapter Twenty

Zach couldn't recall ever being more frightened or feeling more helpless. His son was lying in a hospital bed, looking so weak and tired, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. According to the doctors, he would be fine. If he hadn't arrived at the hospital when he did, he may have been at serious risk of slipping into a diabetic coma.

Rennie still looked scared out of her mind. She sat at their son's bedside, holding his hand. Zach couldn't blame her. He felt the same way, and he'd only known and loved Tyler a short time. Rennie had been there his entire life, loving and nurturing him, supporting and reprimanding him.

"Sit down," Rennie whispered, eyeing the empty chair on the opposite side of Tyler's bed. "You're making me nervous, pacing like that."

"I can't help it," Zach said, walking the length of the small room and back again. "When is he going to wake up?" Zach needed to see him open those big brown eyes. Even if Tyler was still angry with him, he just needed to know that he was okay.

"Soon." Rennie kissed her son's hand before setting it down. She walked over to Zach, stepping into his path so he couldn't walk any farther. Slipping her arms around his waist, she tipped her head back to look him in the eye. "I'm so glad you're here. I don't think I could've gotten through this without you."

Zach doubted that was true. Rennie was one of the strongest women he knew, but knowing that he'd offered her some measure of comfort just by being there bolstered his sagging spirits. "You've been to hell and back without me." He put his arm around her shoulders. "I hate that. I should have been there for you every step of the way. That's the way I'd promised you it would be. But I failed you and our son, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you guys. I promise."

Zach turned his head to see Tyler's big brown eyes were open. He was watching his parents, and he'd obviously heard his dad's claim. The question was, would he believe Zach? Was he finally starting to see his baseball hero as a man he could count on?

"Hey there," Rennie said softly, stepping out of Zach's arms. "It's nice to see your eyes open. How're you feeling, honey?"

"Okay," he whispered. He looked at the water pitcher on the table at the foot of the bed, and Rennie filled a paper cup and took it to him.

"I heard you've been pretty sick with the flu. I wish I could have been there for you," she said.

"Me too," Tyler whispered. His mother held the cup up to his lips. He took a few sips before settling back into the pillow. "Sorry I was such a jerk." He lifted his eyes to Zach's.

"You had every right to feel the way you did, buddy. You have nothing to apologize for. If anyone should be apologizing, it's me."

"And me," Rennie said quickly. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you the truth about Zach years ago, honey. I should have. I just--"

Zach put his hand on her shoulder when her voice broke and she lowered her head. "I think what your mom is trying to say is that we both made some serious mistakes. That doesn't mean we don't love you like crazy. We do. We'd do anything to make this up to you."

"Did you mean what you said?" Tyler looked at him. "Do you really want to be there for us?"

"Forever." Zach's eyes filled with tears he had to blink back before Tyler could see them. "Having you and your mom in my life, that's all I want."

Tyler looked at his mom. "Is that what you want too?"

Rennie covered the hand resting on her shoulder. "I've loved Zach for as long as I can remember. Your father--I mean, Nathan--was a wonderful man and I'm so grateful that we had him in our lives, but no one could ever replace Zach in my heart."

Tyler glanced at their joined hands before lifting his eyes to Zach's face. "You were my hero."

Zach swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry I let you down, buddy. I can promise you it won't happen again."

A small smile brightened his face. "You were my hero, and now you're my dad. That's pretty cool."

Relief flooded Zach. They would get past it together. "Being able to throw a wicked fastball doesn't make me a hero. Being the kind of man my kid can count on makes me a hero, and I promise you I'm going to work my butt off to earn that title in your eyes. If you'll let me?"

Tyler twisted his lips, amusement lighting his eyes. "What do you think, Mom? Should we give him another chance?"

Rennie tipped her head back to look at Zach, a smile on her face. "I think so."

"Okay, I'm game," Tyler said.

Zach took a deep breath and prayed he wasn't about to make a colossal mistake. "Tyler, I asked your mom to marry me. How do you feel about that?"

Tyler frowned before turning his attention to his mother. "Is that what you want?"

Uh oh. Tyler didn't look happy, and Zach knew that would be a deal breaker for Rennie.

She squared her shoulders as she looked her son in the eye. "Do I want to build a life with the man I love, the father of my child? Yes. But if you're not ready for me to take that step, we can take time for you to get to know Zach better. There's no rush."

Every day that slipped past was another day of Tyler's childhood that Zach was missing out on. He didn't have that many more left, and he didn't want to wait any longer to make them a family officially.

Tyler narrowed his eyes as though he was considering his options. "Would we come to live in your house?"

"If you want, or we could buy another house. Whatever we decide is best for all of us." Zach could care less about the bricks and mortar surrounding them. The only thing that mattered was them being together.

"I do like your house," Tyler said, sounding hesitant. "But I like my school, and I wouldn't want to play for a different baseball team."

Zach would find a way to make things work so his son was happy. He'd already caused him enough heartache. From now on, the only thing Zach cared about was making Rennie and Tyler happy. Everything else, including baseball and High Rollers, would take a backseat to that. "We'll figure all that out. If you want to continue going to that school, I'm sure me or your mom could drive you and pick you up. Same goes for baseball. Right?" He squeezed Rennie's shoulder.

"Definitely," she said, smiling at their son. "Does that mean you're okay with this?"

"My mom was really sad when my"--looking uncomfortable, Tyler shifted in his bed--"when Nathan died. I don't want her to be sad like that again. Ever."

Zach wanted to hug Tyler, to thank him for looking out for his mom, for being such an awesome kid, and for being a son he could always be proud of, but that may push past Tyler's comfort zone. He merely said, "I won't hurt your mom again. You have my word."

"There's something else..." Tyler looked a little sheepish. "Since you're my dad, and it looks like you're going to marry my mom, does that mean you can teach me to pitch the way you do?"

Zach laughed as he claimed a spot on the side of Tyler's bed. "Either you're born with talent or you're not," he said, deciding to play with him just a little. "I've seen you pitch and you... were born with it." He grinned when Tyler's face lit up. "It shouldn't take more than five or six years to teach you everything I know about the game."

"Are you sure you're gonna be around that long?" Tyler asked.

Zach's heart sank, but he knew Tyler wasn't trying to hurt him. He just needed reassurance, and no matter how long it took or how many times Zach had to say it, he intended to prove to Tyler that he would never leave him. "You're stuck with me. I'm not talking a year or two or ten. I'm talking forever. Think you can handle that?"

"I think so." Tyler extended his hand. "Let's shake on it. Forever."

Zach chuckled as he pushed Tyler's hand aside and pulled him into his arms. "Forever, my boy."

"Hey," Rennie cried, "can I get it on this?"

Zach shot her a sidelong glance. "What do you think, Tyler? Group hug?"

"Sure." He opened his arms wider to include his mom.

"Just know that if I get this nasty flu bug," Zach said in Tyler's ear, "I'll have to kick your butt."

"You don't scare me," Tyler said, his eyes filled with mischief.

"Oh yeah?" Zach chuckled. "That's only because I haven't punished you yet. You just wait..." Zach eased back, and the three looked at each other.

"I still can't believe the Zach Foster is really my dad." Tyler grinned at Rennie and Zach. "Man, my buddies are never gonna believe this."

"I can think of one way to convince them," Zach said, glancing at Rennie.

"What's that?" Tyler asked, looking excited.

"You could change your last name to Foster." He reached for Rennie's hand. She smiled to let him know she shared his enthusiasm.

"Are you serious?" Tyler asked, his eyes wide. "You really want me to have your last name?"

"Of course I do." Zach got choked up at the awe in the boy's voice. "You're my son. It would mean everything to me if you'd agree to take my last name."

A slow smile spread across Tyler face. "Hmmm.... Tyler Foster. I like the sound of that. Think they'd let me start wearing your number, twenty-two? I wanted to at the start of the season, but there was no twenty-two, and the team couldn't afford to buy new uniforms."

"They can afford to buy new uniforms now," Zach said, chuckling. "They just got a new sponsor with pretty deep pockets. I'm guessing they'll let you wear whatever number you want to wear." Zach knew he shouldn't spoil their son just because he could, but if his name and wealth could open a few doors for Tyler, he didn't see any harm in that.

"You're going to sponsor my baseball team?" Tyler asked, sounding incredulous. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. That is, if you want me to?"

"Yeah!" Tyler sat up straighter. "Man, this is gonna be awesome. Will you be able to come to some of my games too?"

"I'm going to be off the disabled list in a few weeks, but I'll come to as many games as I can." He smiled. "Maybe you can even come to some of my games."

"Are you kidding? That'd be amazing."

"Okay," Rennie said, standing before she plumped her son's pillows and adjusted his blankets. "You need to get some rest. The doctor said we can take you home later as long as he's satisfied with your blood sugar."

"Wait," Tyler said when his parents linked hands and walked toward the door. "When are you guys getting married?"

"Uh, I don't know," Zach said, glancing at Rennie. "We haven't talked about that yet."

"The sooner, the better, Dad. I can't wait to start living in that huge house, and I'm just tellin' you now, I'm gonna whoop your butt at Pac Man. I have it on my iPad, and I'm good. I mean, really good."

Dad. He'd called him Dad. Zach didn't want to make a big deal of it in front of Tyler, but he could tell by the emotion in Rennie's eyes that she knew how much the name meant to him. "Bring it on, buddy. I'll be ready." Zach knew that no matter what life threw at him, he'd be ready just as long as he had Rennie and Tyler by his side.

# About the Author

To learn more about this author, visit www.cheryldouglasbooks.com

To comment on this book, or ask the author a question you can email her at:

info@cheryldouglasbooks.com

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Twitter: CherylDouglasNN

Please consider leaving a review for this book or other books in the series.

Thank You

# Other Books by Cheryl Douglas

Now Available - Nashville Nights

Shameless

Fearless

Ruthless

Reckless

Relentless

Heartless

Hopeless

Careless

Nashville Nights Next Generation

High Stakes

Trade Off

Holiday Homecoming

Game On

Burn Out

Fast Track

Time Out

Face Value

Blown Away

Breathless

Imagine

Starting Over

# Coming Soon

Book Two in the Music City Moguls Series - Envious

Katie Elliott didn't want to admit she was developing feelings for her husband's best friend, but the more time they spent together the harder it became to deny the truth.

Chris Rozen loved everything about Katie, from her infectious laugh to her obvious love for her daughter. They'd started out as friends, but when his best friend, Lee, admitted he was falling out of love with his wife, Chris realized he may be having the opposite problem.
