"Help me, I owe crackheads some money."
 
Huh, you are a class act, aren't you? Hello ladies and gentlemen! Don't panic...
Okay, a sniper is locked onto me, but I just need to watch what I say
and I'll be fine. Anyway, welcome back to another reddit video! In today's video
we'll be looking at top posts from r/
dontfundme. Basically they're just sites where
somebody puts up their cause - why they need money, and people can choose to donate if they think it's a
fair enough cause, right? And with this, there's plenty of room to be completely fair and
even noble! Like, I'm sure plenty of good things have come out of this site
but a lot of people, well, when there's money involved, people are gonna take advantage.
No matter what. You think people would do that, just go on the internet
and lie? So here we have just the worst ones all in one spot for our enjoyment, so let's go. "The house party...
damages. Basically, the owner of the Airbnb has requested
$2500 for the damages. The window, the doors, the walls, carpets, and everything.
So we all need to chip in and raise the money. Also, we weren't allowed to smoke inside, and she found cigarettes and drugs everywhere.
Pay what you can, and let's get to $2500." Hmm, I like how it says, "we all need to chip in."
No, YOU need to chip in. Ah, who did this? "I parked for 90 minutes at my school because I was gonna be late to
class, and I couldn't move it until lunch. The ticket is thirty dollars, and I'm broke
af, so like, if y'all want to donate like fifty cents or like a quarter,  it'd be awesome,
thanks." I like how above she says, "I'm laughing so hard. This is totally not what GoFundMe should be used for."
You're right! Okay, honey, honey.
I'm sure if mom and dad could afford a car for you since, you sure as hell didn't buy it,
I'm sure they could afford a parking ticket for $30. So don't worry, okay?
Okay
Some context for this one. "Guy from my high school grew up in a 1 million dollar house, drove to school in a new Mustang."
"Hey everybody!
I'm in the process of starting a 'fundmytravel' campaign for a study abroad program in France and Spain.
If you're interested in helping me pursue this fun and educational experience,
please click the link below. Send this person to France and Spain to study wine!"
"To study wine." Also, I love how, um, in this one, like normally if you want sympathy money,
you'll post a picture of yourself, like, in some rundown apartment, like, you won't make yourself look rich!
But here he just posted himself in front of a wonder of the world, just, "oh, hey guys! I already have money to travel,
but I want you to give me money to travel!" "Okay, it's been 107 days since I started this campaign and I only have
130 dollars of the
280,000 I need for school, and I'm almost out of time, what do I have to do to get a single
nanosecond of attention from people? I post my portfolio in my acceptance letter,
nobody cares! I share the deeply personal
tragedy of my mom getting diagnosed with an incurable disease,
leaving me and my family to just watch as said disease
slowly kills her, and my uncle getting cancer, and my aunt being killed in a car accident,
and I still get next to nothing! What the f*ck do  people on the internet want from me?
Do I have to film myself slapping around a freshly deceased corpse-" Ah, yes, just bring in that completely relevant topic!
It has everything to do with your case, absolutely. "Do I have to abandon any shame or decency
I have just so I can afford to complete my college education?
If that's the case, then f*ck the internet and the people who use it for being total trash!"
Yeah, guys if you don't give me nearly three hundred thousand dollars,
you are trash. You should feel ashamed! Also, I love the entitlement here.
It's: "I shouldn't have to work
like everyone else does when they take out a loan and then pay it off for the rest of their life.
No, I shouldn't have to do that. I should get my college degree for free.
Why? Because all these bad things happen to me! Okay?"
Okay, anyway the next one:  um...  oh
my. Wait, wait, hold on. Is he-
copying me? Anyway, this one is literally just, "send me to WorldCon 76,
$2,500 goal. 340 dollars have been paid by human beings for this person to go to WorldCon. Um, why?
Next one, um... "Fix my phone.
I broke my phone a few weeks ago
And I'm sure this is relatable for so many of you. However, about one hour ago, I dropped my phone...
AGAIN, despite having had it fixed less than a week ago!
I would like to clarify that my phone is fully equipped with a glass screen protector and a phone case. I would appreciate 'and'
donations."
What. Okay, not only
is this pathetic, but when you see the picture, um...
that's Kim Kardashian, isn't it? And not only is it a picture of Kim Kardashian,
but she's holding not one, but TWO Louis Vuitton handbags,
expensive makeup, and fancy ass chairs in the background. It's just a piss take, isn't it?
"I'm going on a spring break trip to Florida from April 2nd to 6th.
I will need money for my 'plain' ticket as well as spending money.
Please help me out for the amazing trip!" Okay, if you're gonna beg for money online for nothing more than, you know, just
spring break, you know, just having some fun,
At least- at least proofread it! Come on, just-
no effort. "My name is [name], and I am a mentally ill, queer, trans person." Okay,
so, reasons to pity this person
off the table! You already know why. "I tried to do legal sex work, including clip websites and custom videos that ended up
subjected to a lot of scammers,
fatphobia,
harassment, unsolicited penis pics -" Okay, so, you went into that kind of work willingly, and
you're surprised you see a few willies? Um, I don't know what to say to you. It's an occupational hazard! "-and rampant
transphobia. My abuse has made me heavily suicidal
and I need to get out of sex work for my own safety. Unfortunately-"  and here- here's the real kicker, okay guys?
"- unfortunately, Manyvids and iWantClips will not cut me a check for the work I've done!
Because I have not hit the hundred dollar benchmark on either site required for compensation.
And, I have put a ton of time and money into classes,
instructional DVDs, props, toys and costuming! Please help me recoup the money
I have put into this horrendous mistake and
the money that the clip sites will not release to me so I can close this sordid chapter of my life
And never do this again." Okay, so what you're saying is: "I've made a horrible mistake. I've
thrown my money at something
I am not good at, that no one wants to see, and I want you to cover my losses. Um,
why? Because here's why:
this is why I'm entitled, because
there are bad things in my life." Like, why do you have to have it paid back to you?
Why can't you just have it be a loss and move on with your life?
You don't need the money back to "close this chapter of your life," no! That's bullshit. Just move on!
I mean, to make your money back,
instead of asking other people for it, you can actually go and work
for it! *audience gasps*
"I really need a manicure, but I'm currently broke due to generously buying family and friends Christmas presents!"
Ah, yes, a good person as well. I'm
"generously" buying them. "I really want my nails to look good while opening presents this year,
so it would mean a lot if anyone could donate a few dollars.
Thank you, and Happy Holidays!" Ah yes, a manicure to open presents-
essential for life, that one, um, can't live without it! "Today was my first day ever getting pulled over.
I've never been pulled over, and I always go to speed limit! Today
I guess I didn't realize how fast I was going and this undercover cop, trying to be sneaky, pulled me over!"
I mean, come on, again, if you're asking for money,
at least look like you care. "And I was being so nice to him,
but he wanted to do me dirty, so. But, anyway, the ticket ended up being like 281 dollars and
I only work one day a week, and I have 30 days to find the money,
and it would be helpful if someone loves me enough to even donate a dollar! Anyways,
thanks." Okay, so what's being said here is: "oh,
I want you to pay for my ticket, because I can only be bothered working one day a week. Ah, will
I ask for more shifts? Nah! You pay for it bitch!" And here we have some bonus pictures
that were just posted for some sympathy along with the post, so um,
yep. It's cringe. Like, imagine just
crying, just lining up the cameras...
We all know
you just can't be bothered working more, really. "Hello friends, family, and supporters.
I will be looking to start a YouTube channel for makeup, product reviews, and other vlogging
opportunities. This will also coincide with my advancement with being a brand ambassador
where the product will have the opportunity to be seen by you before you buy it,
to know for certain if you want it. Also towards my dream of plus-size modeling,
where having this experience will help to further build my confidence in front of the camera.
I'm asking for any bit you could donate to help me get things rolling. I'm looking to raise
$7,500-" Okay, every dollar necessary. "-for a new camera,
backdrops, lighting, a MacBook, and product that I'll be showcasing to you all."
All of you in the channel
I haven't started yet.
Okay. "If you're donating feel free to leave a comment, and for any product-" Blah, blah, blah, blah, all the rest is useless.
You don't need
$7,500 to start a YouTube channel, okay? Unless you're like the SlowMo Guys who need to rent some expensive-ass camera,
you don't need seven and a half grand!  "Um, I need a MacBook" Like,
no you don't! You want a MacBook, you don't NEED it. I'll tell you what to do: I'll stop being a dick,
I'll stop being sarcastic, and tell you what to do here, okay? Hey,
$7,500? Throw that idea out the window, okay? You will not be making that money back for quite a while!
Let me tell you! Especially now, when it's harder than ever to get monetized in the first place.
Yeah,
so, what you should do: you've taken a picture of yourself that will be on a phone.
Right? So, that's your camera!
You don't need to buy one! A lot of phone cameras aren't half-bad nowadays,
so get a cheap tripod, one of those phone adapters, and put it up there.
Okay, and now for the backdrop. You are on YouTube, the bar is not that high! If your videos are good, and
you are likable, people will watch them. A good backdrop is a nicety. My current backdrop is an unmade bed,
okay? It's not necessary.
So just tidy that room up, find a decent angle,
and you're good. For the computer, if you already have a decent-ish laptop, that should be fine.
You don't need a MacBook! For lighting, I would recommend a ring light,
but it's surprising what you can get done with natural light.
There we go! Not
$7500, not even close! Like, if you really want the YouTube thing to work,
it's not given to you! You have to work your ass off for it. It's relentless and for probably a pretty long time
it's not gonna pay anything. So,
don't invest heaps of money into it, just
invest passion into it and the money will hopefully follow. Anyway, I'm going on a full rant about this,
I'm gonna move on. A bit of a tiring video this one, a bit annoying,
infuriating. Like, GoFundMe: a solid concept! I'm sure it's helped so many people out when they've been punched in the guts
and it's just saved them, right?
But this just opens the gates to anyone! Just, entitled-ass people like these who just think
the world owes them for some reason. Anyway, that'll about do this video. Sorry
I got rambley, um, hope you enjoyed it! As always, if you're new here be sure to subscribe, otherwise, just hit that like button.
Social media links for Instagram and Twitter are down below, obviously. And obviously, to my patrons: thank you, I appreciate you.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the video, and without further ado, see you in the next one! Bye.
You really think someone would do that?! Just go on the internet and tell L I E S?
 
