I am originally from Romania, Romania
the Mexico Europe they tried to a wall
we stole the bricks we are Christian
Orthodox I don't have if you guys know what
that means but I can explain it to you!
you see you're a Christian Orthodox when
you believe in Jesus but Jesus
doesn't believe in you! The Russian people are
Christian Orthodox and the first time I did 
that joke onstage this Russian gentleman
came up to me and he said you know that joke
made me laugh here but made me cry here, you know why? because
Russia not only does Jesus not believe
in me but even Jesus believes him Putin
I've been travelling I went to Vienna a very interesting place Vienna. The Austrian people they
also speak German a lot of people ask me what is the
difference between Germans and Austrians
and I always tell them look Germans are very good
at engineering and Austrians are capable
of love ... When I was travelling there I went for a couple of meetups and I met this
Polish couple and I asked them:  Guys do
you have any suggestions or what I
should have visit while I'm here in Vienna
and the guy told me you should go to the
cemetery! Oh my god why??
FREE ENTRY
A little Polish travel hack there for you, free
entry and if you try really hard free jewellery so
I went to a lot places man I went to
Helsinki anybody here from Finland
yeah
okay wonderful so you are swiss right?
 so your Swiss
and Finnish! Very Rich! Good Job Bro !Lock that down! very expensive place Helsinki
Let me explain how expensive it is
was I was walking around and this homeless
person comes up to me says please sir
can I have eight euros
I don't send my family. 8 euros
It's interesting something funny happened I was in Helsinki and I was on the tram
going to the City Centre  on the
tram there was this older gentleman
white hair white beard looked a bit like
Santa he approaches me says hey man
come over here I want to show you
something so I automatically think to
myself he's probably gonna show me his
penis but this is Helsinki and there's
nothing to do so I was like alright let's see Santa's penis, So I go over to this guy 
the guy puts his hand his pocket he
takes out his phone now on his phone he
shows me a picture he of him dressed up
as Santa next Xi Jin Ping the
president of China and he points at Xi Jin Ping
that's me, that's not you that's a Chinese man, nono the guy next to him
so why are you telling me this and then h
points at me and he says I'm telling you
this because you are Chinese I was like I'm not Chinese!
I'm from Romania but I live in Berlin! Oh you live in Berlin?
and then he puts hand in his pocket and he shows me his penis!!
I found that as a hierarchy the Nordics
as well for example the Finnish people you
in order to live good lives they move to
Sweden for better lives and better jobs and
more money right and then the Swedish
people they move to norway's for better
jobs and more money and then the Norwegian
people they kill themselves the only place better than Norway is heaven. But it's good to be here in Germany
I am trying to integrate I am  one of these immigrants
that is trying to actively integrate and
I'm currently learning the German
language I am doing pretty well so far
well level 6 on Duolingo, I already have
my Favourite German words my Favourite
other words are Schmekt and Frustuck the first
time I heard or schmeckt it sounded to
me like the sound bubble in a Japanese
comic when somebody's masturbating
how was your Friday evening Hanz, well I  sshmeckt good , omg and then what, then t
there was Frustuck everywhere, the wonders of the German
language right what's gonna happen next
on duolingo we don't know. But coming from Romania it is very interesting
very actually why I grew up on a
farm in Romania my grandma used to live on this farm in Romania
and  this far in 
Romania she used to have a bit of a
problem right my grandma used to have an
infinite amount of cats in her attic now
I don't know if you guys know this but the
gestation period for a cat is about
three months which we means every three
months a cat can have up to eight
kittens I dont know if if you are good at math but
that is one cat / 8 cats cats / 8 cats
quickly becomes cats to the power of
eight and that's not sustainable that's
okay because my grandma had a solution
to this problem what my grandma used to
do is she would take the baby kittens
she put them in a bag and that she would
throw them and the river! fucked up right?
now I moved here to Berlin and I was telling
the story to a girl one night in an act
of flirting
this german girl looks at me doesn't
even doesn't blink and she says I think
you Grandam was a very inefficient
Oh my god how so? Well you see Dragos if I was your 
grandma what I will do what I will do is
I would take the pregnant cat put it in a
bag and then throw it in the river you
see that I wish you have to solve the
problem at its core it's a lot more
efficient I was like you know what that
makes a lot of sense man you got a
handle to the German people they really
know how to exterminate , guys I did that joke all over  Germany.
IT DOES'T. WORK
But ... IT Kills in Poland
Alright guys that's my time!
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