 
# Scattered Colors

### a Colors novel

## Jessica Prince
Copyright © 2018 by Jessica Prince

www.authorjessicaprince.com

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

### Contents

Discover Other Books by Jessica

Prologue

Part I

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Part II

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Epilogue

Shrinking Violet Excerpt

Discover Other Books by Jessica

About the Author

# Discover Other Books by Jessica

THE PICKING UP THE PIECES SERIES:

_Picking up the Pieces_

_Rising from the Ashes_

_Pushing the Boundaries_

_Worth the Wait_

* * *

THE COLORS NOVELS:

_Scattered Colors_

_Shrinking Violet_

_Love Hate Relationship_

_Wildflower_

* * *

THE LOCKLAINE BOYS (a LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP spinoff):

_Fire & Ice_

_Opposites Attract_

_Almost Perfect_

* * *

THE PEMBROOKE SERIES (a WILDFLOWER spinoff):

_Sweet Sunshine_

_Coming Full Circle_

_A Broken Soul_

* * *

CIVIL CORRUPTION SERIES

_Corrupt_

_Defile (Declan and Tatum's story – coming 2018)_

* * *

GIRL TALK SERIES:

_Seducing Lola_

_Tempting Sophia_

_Enticing Daphne_

_Charming Fiona_

* * *

STANDALONE TITLES:

_Chance Encounters_

_Nightmares from Within_

* * *

DEADLY LOVE SERIES:

_Destructive_

_Addictive_

# Prologue

### Freya

I think the use of the phrase _life is hard_ has become so diluted, so overstated throughout the years that when someone hears it, the words go in one ear and out the other. The impact is no longer there. The meaning, the importance of that phrase no longer holds any water with those it's spoken to.

It wasn't until you'd already been knocked to the ground countless times, questioning if you could take anymore, that you truly saw the validity in the words _life is hard_. But by then, the pain had already reached a point where those words did nothing but fuel the deep resentment you've begun to feel. You'd feel the need to look up at the skies, screaming _tell me something I don't know_!

My life became hard at the age of seventeen, the summer before my senior year of high school. I thought it couldn't get any worse, but that was just the beginning of everything. Over time, life for me would get even harder. The world would hold no color or happiness. Just a bleak black and white loneliness that would threaten to pull me under.

My story isn't a pretty one. The bumps in the road were monumental and infinite. But it's _my_ story. And the one thing that holds true is this....

Despite the hardships, I made it through to the other side.

# Part One

BLACK AND WHITE

# Chapter One

### Freya

"You sure you don't need a ride?"

I turned in my friends' direction to see Carey and Lisa loading their drill bags in the back of Carey's car.

"I'm sure!" I yelled back. A quick glance at my watch showed that my mother was already ten minutes late. "I bet she just got caught in traffic. She'll be here any minute. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

My friends sent me quick waves as they climbed into the car and started out of our high school parking lot. I pulled the strap of my own drill bag from my shoulder and dropped it to the ground before taking a seat on the rough concrete sidewalk. Every inch of my body hurt. My poor, aching muscles cried out in relief as I leaned back against my bag. Competition had been brutal this year, but my Drill Team had walked away victorious, having won first place overall. Dancing wasn't necessarily a passion of mine, but I stuck with it because of the look of sheer joy on my mother's face every time she saw me perform. Dance had been her dream but as she told it, having two left feet had nipped that dream in the bud early on. She'd enrolled me in every class imaginable once I was old enough, and I kept at it because it made her happy. But with my senior year coming up, I was counting down the time until I could walk away from it all. After graduation, I was done.

Closing my eyes against the bright sunlight, I leaned my head back and listened to the noise of the city. I could hear the faint sounds of cars honking, of sirens in the distance, but none of it fazed me. Chicago had been home to me my entire life; the hustle and bustle noises came with the territory, and I'd grown accustomed to tuning them all out.

Another glance at my watch. Twenty minutes late.

_Where is she?_

Hitting redial on my cell, I tried calling her again and just like the last time, it went unanswered. Worry stirred in my belly with every minute that ticked by. My mother wasn't the type of person to ever be late, and I couldn't remember the last time she hadn't answered my call. Dread formed a massive knot in my chest as the hands on my watch continued to turn with no signs of Mom. The longer I sat on the hard ground, the louder the voice in my head began to shout.

Something was definitely wrong.

* * *

"No. _No!_ " The soul-crushing devastation in my father's voice was the only sound that could penetrate the blood rushing in my ears.

"I'm sorry, sir." The doctor spoke with a calm, methodical tone which had no doubt been honed over years of having to break bad news to families just like mine, families who had lost someone they loved.

For six days, my father and I sat vigil at my mother's bedside, hoping and praying she would pull through. Phrases like "she's strong" and "she's a fighter" had given us both the hope that she'd somehow manage to make it, that one day her eyes would miraculously open and our lives would go back to the way they'd been. For six long, excruciating days, it felt like the pause button had been pushed on my life and I was just waiting impatiently for it to start back up again. That was, until just moments ago. Six days of fighting and my mother had finally lost the battle for her life and slipped away.

It didn't feel real. It couldn't be. I was having a nightmare; that was the only explanation that made any sense. I was asleep. I'd wake up any moment and my mother would be there, alive and happy, just like any other day. She hadn't really been hit head-on by a drunk driver on her way to pick me up. It was all just a bad dream that my imagination had somehow conjured up.

Just a dream, just a dream, I kept repeating in my head, refusing to look at my mother's lifeless body lying in the hospital bed just feet away.

She was going to open her eyes at any moment and everything would be all right. I knew if I could just see those bright blue eyes, so similar to my own, that the world would un-pause and start moving again, just as it was meant to.

But her eyes never opened. And with the loss of her shiny, happy blue eyes, the rest of the color in the world began to dim.

* * *

Colorless.

That had been my world the day we put my mother in the ground. There was no vibrancy, no bold, vivid colors; just black, white, and gray. Everything from the angry storm clouds that filled the sky to the umbrellas held over our heads at the graveside service to the suits and dresses the mourners around me wore as they paid their respects were cloaked in those cold, desolate tones. I could remember spending the entire day on autopilot, my body moving robotically from one place to another, too overwhelmed to process what was going on around me. I still couldn't bring myself to believe it was all really happening. Every morning, I woke up and expected to find my mother in the kitchen preparing breakfast and every morning, my heart wrenched and broke all over again as remembrance took hold, leaving a hole inside my world that couldn't be filled.

My father and I spent that day side by side in silence, coping with our loss together yet still separately. He seemed to be turning into himself, holding his emotions at bay until he was in the privacy of my parents' bedroom. I guessed he didn't realize I could hear his cries of agony through the walls every night. Neither of us had spoken much in the days leading up to the funeral. It was as if we didn't know what to say to each other to lessen the hurt.

In the days that followed Mom's funeral, the colors of life remained missing. The happiness, which had once filled my household as I grew up, had dwindled. As that first month ticked by, my father eventually pulled himself from the comforts of his room in order to go to work. I went through the motions of going to school but couldn't bring myself to feel any of the excitement my fellow classmates exhibited at the thought of the school year soon coming to a close. While my friends all tried their hardest to show their support, I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of the constant state of numbing disbelief I was living in. One question ran through my mind constantly: _Is this really my life_?

In the second month following her death, it grew apparent that my father appeared to have found solace in burying himself in his work. He'd always been a workaholic to an extent, but Mom always had a way of reining him in. She insisted that weekends were to be spent together. We'd been the kind of family that had taken vacations together or lazed around the house Saturday and Sunday, doing nothing but enjoying each other's company. With her gone, Dad slowly began spending less and less time at home. When he _was_ around, I noticed that he struggled to look at me. On the occasions where we actually managed to make eye contact, I saw flashes of pain fill his eyes before he quickly turned away. For me, month two brought an unwelcomed sense of constant pain. The numbness had eventually faded, and the sporadic forgetfulness that she was actually gone was no more. When I woke up in the mornings, it was with the knowledge that I was more than likely going to be spending the day alone while Dad was at the clinic.

By month three, things had grown even more dismal. I didn't have the energy or desire to hang out with friends, leaving each one of their phone calls unanswered. The school year rolled to a close without me so much as noticing. Summertime only meant hours upon hours of sitting alone in my quiet house by myself. Dad had taken throwing himself into his work to an extreme. I began making dinners each night in the hopes of coaxing him home at a reasonable hour, but most nights I ate alone at our dining room table before packing up the leftovers and storing them in the fridge. The only reason I knew he was aware of my cooking was because the leftovers would be missing the following morning when I woke up. He knew the lengths I was going to and still couldn't pull himself from his grief long enough to sit down for a meal with his daughter. To make matters worse, he'd gone from looking at me every once in a while with a pained expression to stopping almost completely.

I managed to find the courage to ask him why that was one rare night when he got home before I'd fallen asleep.

"Why won't you look at me, Daddy?" I'd asked in a tearful voice as I tried my hardest to get his eyes to meet mine.

When he spoke, his voice was weak and broken, something I was so unused to. Growing up, I'd always believed my father to be strong and courageous. With four softly spoken words, he shattered that image. "It hurts too much."

An involuntary sob burst free from my chest as warm tears made tracks down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Freya. I'm so sorry." He walked from the living room and shut himself in his bedroom for the remainder of the night. I knew my father was crushed by the loss of Mom. They'd been together since college and, while I had friends who came from families of divorce, I'd been raised in a household where my parents never hid their affection from me. They were constantly hugging or kissing to the point of embarrassment. I understood his pain, but that didn't take away from the stinging slap his words left me feeling. As month three progressed, my pain grew more intense, almost unbearable. The fact that my father couldn't even look at me—because I was a constant reminder of his beloved wife—compounded my pain with loneliness at what felt like the loss of my father, as well. I could see that soul-deep hurt one could only feel when they looked at the carbon copy of the person they'd loved and lost too early in life.

I was the spitting image of my mother. That thought used to bring me joy. But ever since losing her, just looking in the mirror stabbed at my heart. We had the same light brown hair that would shine with natural red highlights when the light hit it just right. Our eyes were the same wide-set, expressive, cerulean blue that tended to turn different shades depending on our mood. Mom used to say there was no hiding what we were feeling, that our emotions reflected in our eyes, showing everything no matter how hard we tried to hide it. But since that awful day, the light that used to reflect in my eyes was gone. There was no happiness, no sadness, just stark emptiness looking back at me. Everything about my face—eyes, ears, nose, chin, lips, cheekbones—were all exactly like hers. It was a blessing and a curse all at the same time.

I began to doubt that things were ever going to go back to the way they used to be. I started to question if the colors would ever come back to my world. I lay in bed at night, silently crying, thinking that things couldn't get any worse. Sadly, I was mistaken. Month three had been the hardest yet, but it was in month four that I would discover my life could, in fact, get worse. Month four was when I lost what was left of the life I'd grown to know. Month four was when what little I had was stripped away completely.

Month four was when my pain grew tenfold and I began to truly resent my father.

# Chapter Two

### Freya

"You'll love it here, Freya. Just wait and see."

I tuned my father's voice out as I looked through the passenger window. Even the beautiful view whipping past me wasn't enough to pull me from my morose mood. If the serenity of the white-capped waves crashing along the pebbled shoreline or the tree-lined cliffs overlooking the ocean weren't enough to cheer me up, then my father's pathetic attempt at reassurance certainly wasn't going to do it.

It had been a long, three-day drive from Chicago to the tiny, Pacific Northwest town of Sommerspoint, Washington. Three days filled with, _it's such a lovely town, Freya; wait until you see the beach, Freya;_ and my absolute favorite, _this is a chance for us to start over, Freya._

I didn't _want_ to start over. I wanted to go home.

Home to the beautiful house I'd grown up in just outside of Chicago. The house where my mother had played with me, cooked meals, read me bedtime stories before tucking me in snuggly every night, where my family would cuddle close on the couch watching movies on the weekends. Home was that house filled with the memories of my mom, memories of a happier time, memories I cherished.

But the house was gone.

Only four months after burying her, my father decided he could no longer handle living in that house surrounded by the memory of my mother. Where they gave me comfort, those same memories haunted my dad. He sold the family clinic he'd opened in the city two years before I'd been born to move us all the way across the country to some town where the population was just barely out of the triple digits. Sommerspoint. Even the name was serene.

I hated it.

Everything had been done without my input. He never once asked how I felt about the move. He didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was running away from the memories he was unable to handle. Without so much as talking to me, he put our house on the market and sold it and his clinic. He'd contacted a colleague of his from medical school who ran a family practice in Sommerspoint and agreed to come on as a partner. The first I heard of our plans to start a new life thousands of miles away had been the week before.

_The quick knock on my bedroom door had drawn my gaze from the book I'd been reading to see my father standing in the doorway. "We're moving to Washington. You need to pack; we'll be leaving first thing Monday morning." That was it. That was all he said before turning and walking away, leaving me reeling from the bomb he'd just dropped._

"So, you're not talking to me at all?" my father asked after several minutes passed without a response to his last comment.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked sullenly, never taking my eyes off the landscape as it passed by.

His heavy sigh echoed through the car. "You'll get used to this place. You just need to get settled in."

I didn't bother arguing. There was no use. If he wanted to believe moving away from everything and everyone we'd ever known and loved would be an easy adjustment, then I'd let him. He could use that thought to keep himself comfortable. I was a realist. I knew exactly what was going to happen. We'd get settled, Dad would go back to working long hours, and I'd go back to being alone. That was what my life had become. Despite the fact that we'd moved, I knew things weren't going to change. He wasn't staying away from me because he wanted to grieve privately. No, he kept his distance because it hurt too much to look at me.

Part of me couldn't fault my father for not being able to look at me, but the other part resented the hell out of him. I resented him for the distance he'd put between us, for the way he left me to handle my mother's death all on my own, without a shoulder to cry on. I couldn't help but think a stronger man would have been able to suck it up and find a way to help his daughter heal, but he wasn't strong. He'd proven that in his actions over the past four months. Our move was just another red flag showing me I was on my own. No one was going to take care of me but me. It was a sad, sad lesson for a seventeen-year-old to have to learn.

The remainder of the drive up the coast was silent. I'd just begun to doze when my father turned the car onto a gravel driveway lined with the thickest, tallest trees I'd ever seen. Even if the sun hadn't already started its descent from the sky, the light wouldn't have been able to break through the denseness of the leaves. I took in the picturesque landscape all around as we drove closer and closer to our new home. What I saw once everything came into view made my jaw drop slightly and my eyes widen in awe.

It wasn't the massive two-story craftsman—although it was quite gorgeous—which left me speechless. It was the view of what was beyond the house that had me mesmerized.

"The furniture is already set up," Dad said as he turned the key, shutting off the car's engine. "The movers unloaded everything yesterday. All that's left is to unpack are the boxes."

Ignoring his words, I opened the car door to climb out. "I'm going to take a look around. Be back in a bit."

I didn't wait for his response before taking off around the side of the house. The view was absolutely breathtaking. The house sat on a bluff overlooking the Pacific. There were no fences surrounding the property. Our backyard was massive, at least fifty yards before it butted right up to the edge of the cliff, nothing to be seen but miles and miles of ocean. To say the view was stunning would have been a massive understatement. I could have stared at that view for hours and never grown tired of it.

Taking another step toward the edge of the cliff, I glanced down at the beach. One look was all it took and I knew right then and there I was in love with what I saw below me. The ground was covered in sand and pebbles. Downed trees that looked like they'd been there forever lay on their sides. Stepping back from the edge, I scanned the area, looking for a way down. It wasn't that far of a drop, but there was no way I was climbing down a rocky cliff face all alone. Luckily, off to my right was a path worn into the grass. I followed it until I made it to the quiet beach. Once I was at the shoreline, I turned in a full circle, soaking up everything that surrounded me. With water in front of me, a rocky wall that led up to my new home behind, while magnificent trees and cliffs jutted out on both sides. It was amazing. My mom would have loved it.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, it felt like a balloon had popped, deflating all the wonder and joy I'd momentarily felt as I took in my surroundings, thrusting me back into a harsh reality where my mom was gone and I was on my own. Walking over to one of the fallen trees, I ran my fingers across the trunk where years of rain and tides had left the surface smooth. I took a seat on the weathered wood and watched the waves roll in as tears streamed down my face.

I couldn't help but wonder when that big, gaping hole she'd left behind when she died would finally begin to heal and close up. Some days it felt like the pain was almost too much to bear.

"I miss you," I whispered into the breeze as it blew past me.

"Are you a crazy person?" I spun around with a gasp, unaware there was anyone on the beach besides me. My breath instantly stalled as my eyes roamed helplessly over the boy standing before me. Dark brown hair flopped over his forehead messily, nearly masking equally dark eyes. The sun glinted off the piercing in his bottom lip, drawing my attention to his mouth. As I scanned further down, I saw he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans with a chain hanging from his belt loop to his back pocket. The faded Converses on his feet also appeared to have been worn frequently, ripped and scuffed in places like only a favorite pair of shoes could be. Nothing about his clothing was all that impressive, but the way they hugged his body showed off lean yet well-defined muscles.

He was, by far, one of the most attractive boys I'd ever seen. It wasn't just his body or the way he dressed that made him so good-looking, though. There was something in the way he was carrying himself. He had an almost-cocky arrogance in his body language. Everything from the slow, casual swagger he had as he walked toward me to the smirk that tilted the corner of his full lips up screamed confident. It was as if he was well aware of who he was and completely comfortable in that knowledge. A deep chuckle pulled my attention back up to his face where his smirk slowly spread into a full-on smile. I'd just been busted checking him out.

"Um...what?"

His head tipped to the side as his eyes narrowed. He was studying me closely, like something about me sitting there alone on a beach fascinated him. His attention was both thrilling and disconcerting all at the same time. His eyes were so focused, as though he was seeing things a stranger shouldn't see, and I wasn't sure I liked it.

"I asked if you were a crazy person," he repeated. The deep timbre of his voice sent a shiver through my body.

"No!" I let out an offended huff, hugging my arms around my stomach like they were somehow going to protect me from the strange boy who had come out of nowhere. "Are you?" I asked, my tone full of hostility.

The boy stepped even closer and I noticed he looked to be right around my age. "I'm not the one sitting on a log talking to myself." His eyes glinted with humor, but I wasn't finding anything about our small exchange to be funny.

My lip curled in derision. "I wasn't talking to myself," I said sharply.

He leaned down to pick up one of the pebbles off the beach and began tossing it from hand to hand. "Looked that way to me. What's your name? I've never seen you around here before."

"We just moved into the house on the bluff," I answered, pointing up at the cliff behind me. "I'm Freya Linden and you are?"

"Parker Owens." He thrust his hand out for me to shake. "Freya, huh? That's a weird name. Guess it fits you, weird name for the weird girl who talks to herself on an empty beach."

I felt my cheeks heat at his insult. I'd never been the type of girl who was easily offended. My mom had taught me from an early age to ignore people's hatefulness. She always said mean people were just scared, pathetic human beings who needed to build themselves up by knocking other people down. I was usually able to brush insults off, but having Parker call me weird pricked at something inside of me. I couldn't explain it, especially since I didn't know the guy from Adam, but for some reason, it bothered me.

I stood from my spot on the log and started toward the path that led up the cliff. "You're an asshole," I ground out as I walked away. What was wrong with me? First I got my feelings hurt, and then the best I could come up with was to call him an asshole? I was _awesome_ when it came to hurling insults at someone who was acting like a jackass. Maybe it was sleep deprivation. Maybe all those hours in a car had thrown me off, but no matter the excuse, in Parker's presence, I was most definitely off my game.

"Whoa, whoa. Wait a second." I heard the rocks fly up from the ground as he ran after me. "I was only teasing you," he said, grabbing hold of my elbow and turning me to face him. "It was a joke. I didn't mean anything by it."

I frowned as I jerked my arm from his hold. "What's funny about being a jerk to someone you've just met?"

He ran his hands through his unruly hair and released a breath. "Look, I'm sorry. Really. You just looked a little...I don't know, lost, I guess. I didn't mean to be a dick. I was just trying to lighten the mood for you."

I didn't like how he seemed to be able to read me so well, but more than that, I didn't like the way he made it feel like I had a million butterflies flapping around in my belly. I'd met the guy all of five minutes ago, for crying out loud. I needed to get away from Parker and his creepy insightfulness.

I opened my mouth to toss a smart remark back at him just as my father called my name from up above us.

"Gotta go," I said, turning around and continuing up the path.

"It's been a pleasure, Freya Linden."

"Can't say the same, Parker Owens," I called over my shoulder.

"Feisty. I'm looking forward to seeing you around, new girl."

I didn't bother responding that I hoped to never have to see him again because a part of me—a very tiny part I refused to acknowledge—was kind of excited at the prospect of running into Parker Owens again. Even if I _had_ found him the slightest bit detestable.

It was official. I'd been in Sommerspoint for all of an hour and I was already losing my mind.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

Freya Linden.

The name was just as interesting as the girl herself.

As I made my way home, taking the route along the beach to clear my head, the last thing I expected was to run into a beautiful girl sitting on a log crying as she stared out at the ocean. My walk on the beach was something I did regularly to escape the turbulence of my life. I craved the solitude I usually had on the long, lonely expanse of sand and pebbles. I'd left Cassidy's house an hour earlier and was in desperate need of the salty sea air to clear out the chaos in my mind. I didn't understand why I kept going back. The girl drove me insane on a good day, but on days like this one, she did nothing but add to the stark blackness of my life.

I'd made the right decision to end my relationship with Cassidy a while back, but when I was having a bad day, it was just too easy to fall back into a routine—or into Cassidy's bed, to be exact—in an attempt to get a reprieve from the bad days. Unfortunately, that reprieve had come to an end. I'd used my ex as a fallback plan for too long and she was starting to push. Pushing for us to get back together, pushing for us to be something we just weren't, pushing me to tell her I loved her when, in all honestly, I wasn't even sure I _liked_ her.

As I made my way back home, that emptiness I'd started feeling inside after every encounter with Cassidy had started to grow. I didn't know how much longer I could continue going on the way I was before the darkness swallowed me whole. If I were being honest with myself, my relationship with Cassidy—if that was what I could even call it—wasn't the only thing I was beginning to question. For the past few years, I'd surrounded myself with people who weren't all that great. Where I could typically find a redeeming quality in most people, it was gradually becoming harder and harder to excuse the selfish behavior of my so-called friends. At first, the inane drama of my tight-knit circle of friends had been a welcome escape from my own self-loathing. However, as time passed, I found the childish behavior and pettiness to be doing nothing but adding to the weight I carried around on my chest, threatening to pull me under until I drowned in it all.

The sight of the girl on the beach seemed to lift that depressing fog, if only for a little while. I couldn't remember the last time I saw a pair of blue eyes so startlingly beautiful. But it wasn't just the color that had pulled me in. It was the sadness she held behind them. In just one brief moment on that quiet beach, I saw something in her so similar to what I saw every time I looked in the mirror. Like recognized like, and I recognized the same pain in Freya that I carried around every single day.

It made me want to know her better. It made me want to discover what clouded those deep azure eyes. There wasn't much I had to look forward to in my life, but maybe...just maybe Freya Linden was going to change all of that.

# Chapter Three

### Freya

It was the morning of the first day of my senior year. I should have been excited. I should have been making plans for the future, thinking about Homecoming, Prom, college applications. But as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror staring into my emotionless blue eyes, I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but sadness. My mother wasn't there to walk me through any of the milestones approaching during my last year of high school. I was stuck in a microscopically small town with no friends, starting over without any type of support system. Just like I'd predicted, as soon as the house was in some semblance of order, my dad had buried himself in his work, leaving long before I woke in the morning and not arriving back home until well after dark. I had to navigate our tiny town all on my own just so I could find my new school and register for classes. Dad had a meeting with his new partner at the hospital in town that day. Of course, that took precedence over getting his teenage daughter enrolled in school.

As I studied my face in the mirror, I tried not to think about how much I missed my mom. I tried to push away the constant sorrow that seemed to follow me around like a dark storm cloud, blocking out any light that could possibly brighten up my black and white world. I didn't think about how much I looked like her because that would have only led to unstoppable tears, and the only thing worse than starting over at a new school all alone was starting over with a red, splotchy face from crying all morning long.

Two brushes of the mascara wand over my lashes and a touch of clear lip gloss was as good as it was going to get. I'd never been a big fan of makeup. While I loved my blue eyes for being so much like Mom's, I also disliked them for how big they were. Too much makeup would have made my wide eyes look like they were too big for my face.

I let out a dejected sigh and walked from the bathroom into my bedroom, sliding my feet into my gold ballet flats. My shoes were the only pop of color in my entire outfit. Plain skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt, no jewelry, and my hair thrown up in a ponytail. Judging by my clothing choice, it was pretty obvious that I couldn't bring myself to care about my appearance.

I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to make myself the same breakfast I'd been having for the past few months: black coffee, a granola bar, and a banana, the breakfast of champions. I took a seat on one of the barstools at the island which gave me a perfect view of the ocean outside the back windows. The morning was overcast and dreary, but I was still amazed by what spread out for miles and miles beyond the cliffs. We'd been in the house for a week and the view of the ocean still took my breath away every time I saw it. I'd have much rather sat at home, staring out at the gray, turbulent water than go face whatever teenage hell I was about to stumble upon at Sommerspoint High School. That choppy, angry sea matched my mood so perfectly it almost felt as if the waves were speaking to me, calling my name, asking me to stay with them.

As I reached for a banana from the fruit bowl, I noticed the piece of paper with my name scrawled across the front. If I was reading it correctly—which was questionable since my father's handwriting was just as bad as every other doctor out there—he'd left me a note.

_Freya ,_

_Good luck on your first day of school._

_~ Dad._

No _I love you_ or anything that could have possibly been misconstrued as affection. Just a simple, generic letter scribbled onto a piece of paper as if the note had been an afterthought as he prepared to rush out the door.

I crumpled the paper in my hand as I finished my banana and tossed the letter, along with the peel into the trash can. I grabbed my canvas messenger bag off the table and shoved a granola bar inside to eat on my walk to school, then I was out the door. It was time to start my new life

* * *

Sommerspoint High School was just like every other high school in the country, or so I assumed, seeing as I'd only had one other school to base my observation on. There were kids running around like they were on fire, in a hurry to get to wherever it was they needed to be. Others meandered through the halls like they had all the time in the world, clearly not in a rush to learn. Some students stood at their lockers, surrounded by their friends as they talked and laughed without a care. I kept my head down, not wanting to draw attention to myself or get pulled into a conversation I didn't want to be in. I just wanted to get through the day and go home. I wasn't looking to connect with anyone.

I caught a few stares from people as I made my way to my locker, undoubtedly garnering interest as the new girl in such a small town. But I just pushed forth, ignoring the looks and whispers as I passed. I pulled the small slip of paper from my bag that had my locker combination on it and began turning the dial. After three attempts, the damn door still refused to open. I let out a curse as the first warning bell sounded, signaling classes were about to begin. I turned the dial again and pulled at the little metal lever to no avail. The bastard didn't want to let me in.

"It's kinda old. You have to give it a good hit," a small voice spoke from beside me.

I turned to see a girl a good few inches shorter than me standing just two lockers down from mine. Her fire engine-red hair sprouted out around her face in a frizzy mass of curls and freckles covered most of her face. Her green eyes crinkled in the corners as her lips stretched out into a huge smile. The bright red hair and freckles were usually a bad combination, especially on a teenage girl. However, on the one standing in front of me, they seemed to give her character, like she owned her looks, flaws and all. She was so tiny with such a mass of fiery hair that she reminded me of one of those little woodland sprites my mom used to read about in books when she'd tuck me in at night.

"Huh?"

"The lockers," she said, her smile spreading even wider. Oh, no, she was one of those chronically happy people. I had to suppress a groan as she came toward me. "You have to give it a whack if you want it to open. Here, let me try."

The sprite took the paper from my hand and studied it before turning the dial. As soon as she was done with the combination, she hit the locker door with the side of her fist and pulled the little lever up. The stupid door opened like a charm.

"See, you just have to know what to do."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I stuffed the books I didn't need inside.

"No problem. I'm Stella." Her little hand jutted out at me as she hopped from foot to foot. Clearly Stella was a very excitable person. I wasn't feeling the excitement, but there was just something about her sweet face. I couldn't bring myself to be mean to her.

"Freya," I answered, reaching out to shake her hand.

"What a cool name! You're the new girl, huh? Your accent's funny. Where are you from?" she rattled off at lightning speed.

"You're really full of energy, aren't you?" I asked dryly. I wasn't meaning it as a joke, but she laughed anyway.

"Yeah. My mom says if I wasn't in dance, I'd never wear myself out."

My heart squeezed painfully at the mention of dancing. Shortly after losing my mom, I'd tried to throw myself back into drill team, but all it did was remind me of how much she loved watching me perform. I couldn't stomach the thought of never seeing her cheering me on in the audience again, so I'd given it up completely.

"I've been dancing for as long as I can remember. Mom says I was dancing even before I could walk."

I watched Stella's eyes light up as she talked about her mom. Mine used to do that, too.

"Does this school have a Drill Team?" I asked conversationally. Stella seemed nice enough, and if she was making the effort to be polite, the least I could do was offer the same in return.

In the blink of an eye, Stella's hyper behavior deflated with just that one question. Strangely enough, I found myself a little sad that her sprightliness had disappeared. She was so tiny and full of life in just the few sentences we'd exchanged that I already picked up on the fact that the frown marring her face seemed out of place. "Yeah, they're called the Sommerspoint Sassettes."

Disbelief bubbled up from my throat in the form of laughter. "Are you kidding me? They actually call themselves that?"

"Yeah," Stella answered, a small grin returning to her lips. "It's kinda lame."

"Are you on the team?"

"Oh, um, no." Stella's eyes went to the ground as she spoke. "But they're having tryouts next week if you're interested."

"Oh, no. That's not really my thing," I answered, intentionally leaving out the fact that it had been just a few months back. She didn't need to know that. She opened her mouth to say something just as the second and final warning bell rang. I needed to hurry or I was going to be late for my first class. A class I had no clue how to get to.

I pulled my schedule out of my bag and looked at my first class.

"What do you have?" Stella asked, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look at the paper in my hand.

"English with Mrs. Wilkins. Room 103."

"Oh, yay! I'm in that class! Come on. I'll show you where it is." As I followed behind the redheaded woodland fairy, a wave of unexpected relief hit me. I'd gone from someone who didn't want to make any friends to someone following after a little ball of energy in the span of just a few minutes. Oh, how my opinion had changed the instant I met Stella. She was one of those people who were impossible _not_ to like.

I kept my gaze on Stella as we made it into the classroom, not bothering to look around and see who all was there. Other than my new sort-of-friend, it wasn't like I knew anyone else anyway. We found two empty seats right next to each other a few rows from the back and sat down just as the last bell rang. Mrs. Wilkins stood from her desk and made her way to the door. She looked to be in her mid-to-late fifties and wore clothes so old they'd fallen out of style, come back into style, and fallen out all over again. And judging by the way she slammed the door shut on a boy who tried to come running in just a few seconds too late, I was pretty sure she was going to be a drill sergeant.

_What fun_.

"Rule number one in my class: if you're late, you're not getting in. Rule number two: do not disrupt. If you do, you're out and rule number three: do your assigned work. If you follow these rules, we'll get along just fine this semester."

I couldn't speak for anybody else, but I was going to make sure I followed her rules to the letter. Mrs. Wilkins was a little scary. I reached into my bag to pull out a notebook and pen when I heard a deep chuckle from behind me.

"Well, hey there, new girl. Looks like it's my lucky day."

My gaze shot over to Stella who was staring at me wide-eyed before I turned around to see who that deep voice belonged to. I was immediately sucked into a pair of endlessly dark eyes, partially shaded by a flop of brown hair.

_Great, just what I need._

"Parker," I said with a casual tilt of my chin in acknowledgment.

The florescent lights in the classroom glinted off his lip ring as he grinned at me. "Weird-named Freya. How you doing this morning, gorgeous?"

"Well, I _was_ doing just fine...until now." I tried not to let his calling me gorgeous have an effect on me, but my stupid stomach dropped as his stare bore into mine. I'd only seen him twice and I could already tell Parker Owens was going to be a problem for me. A buzzer went off in my brain, sounding, _Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Stay the hell back!_

A disgruntled snort pulled my attention away from Parker and over to the blonde girl sitting next to him. Her top lip was curled in disgust as she glared at me like I'd just peed in her cheerios. Not wanting to draw any more attention to myself than I already had, and _definitely_ not wanting to get into trouble on my first day, I spun back around in my seat and faced the front of the room where Mrs. Wilkins was writing something on the dry erase board.

Trying to ignore the hushed voices that spoke behind me and focus on what the teacher was saying was damn near impossible when I heard the girl who had been staring me down whisper to Parker.

"Freya? Her name is Freya? What kind of stupid name is that?"

"No stupider than Brynn," Parker shot back. By the sound of her offended gasp, I could only assume that unfortunate name belonged to Little Miss Lip Curl herself.

"I think it's a beautiful name," he continued, and I felt my cheeks heat at the compliment even as I tried to act like I wasn't eavesdropping. I could see Stella out of the corner of my eye subtly trying to get my attention, but I kept my focus firmly on Mrs. Wilkins. "It's only the first day of school, Brynn. At least wait a week before you let your bitch show."

"Mr. Owens," Mrs. Wilkins called out, turning the entire classroom's attention to the guy sitting behind me. "Already disrupting my class on the first day, I see. Why am I not surprised?"

"Not at all, Mrs. Wilkins," Parker spoke in a smooth cadence. "Have I told you yet how lovely you look this morning?"

She rolled her eyes with a huff. "Your charm won't work on me, Mr. Owens."

"Well, that's a shame. I'm still waiting for the day you leave Mr. Wilkins and run away with me."

It seemed I wasn't the only one immune to Parker Owen's charm as the entire class burst into a fit of giggles and laughter. Even Mrs. Wilkins' cheeks were turning a little pink.

"Do you think you can manage to make it through the rest of the period without causing any more problems?"

I didn't turn around to see his face, but I could hear the smile in his voice as he answered. "For you, I'll try my very best."

I tried my hardest not to laugh, as I looked down, unseeing at the textbook open on my desk. English was going to be an interesting period, to say the least.

# Chapter Four

### Freya

"How do you know Parker Owens?" Stella whispered exuberantly as we exited the classroom? I'd somehow managed to make it through the rest of the period without acknowledging the boy who sat behind me. It wasn't easy, that was for sure. People like Parker demanded attention just by existing and when they didn't get it, they turned into whiny little children; case in point, the pen which he kept jabbing into my back every few minutes.

"I don't know him," I answered simply as we headed for our lockers to exchange books.

"Sure looked like you knew him to me." She giggled. Her voice held so much delight I almost didn't want to let her down.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't. Not really, anyway. I ran into him down on the beach by my house. He's kind of a jackass, if you ask me."

She released a wistful sigh as she traded one book for another and closed her locker. "Yeah, he can be sometimes. But then he can also be really nice, you know? I've known him since we were little, and he wasn't always like he is now. It's the people he hangs out with, I think. They're a bunch of assholes. Guess it just rubbed off on him after a while."

"Who does he hang out with?" I asked, unable to curb my curiosity when it came to Parker. He was an enigma, rude the first time we met, yet charming and charismatic in class. He was like a puzzle I didn't want to figure out, but couldn't resist all at the same time.

"Oh, you know... the 'popular' __ kids." She used air quotes on the word _popular,_ adding an eye roll for good measure. "Typical high school jerks. The jocks, cheerleaders, kids like that. Parker's like the ringleader of that crowd. It's weird, really. He never came off as clique-y or anything like that until we got to high school, but those guys just flock to him like he's their king or something. It's kinda pathetic. He dated Cassidy Ashworth for, like, two years a while back. She's the most popular girl in school. Even after they broke up, they kept running with the same people. It's this twisted little hierarchy with those guys. I just keep my distance."

Nothing she was telling me was shining Parker in a good light. It just confirmed that my opinion of him was dead-on.

"Well, Spritely Stella, you're better off without losers like that in your life."

"Spritely?" she giggled.

"Yeah, you know, like one of those little woodland fairies you read in children's books. You're tiny and full of energy, like a sprite." I smiled as she laughed at my description.

"Spritely..." she said thoughtfully. "I like that. Well, Mystifying Freya, I have to get to class. Here, give me your phone."

I quickly handed it over. "Mystifying?" I asked as she fiddled around with my cellphone.

"Yeah," she replied, handing it back when she was finished. I looked down to see she'd programmed her number into it. "You're the mysterious new girl in a small town, might as well get used to it."

I laughed again. I'd laughed more with Spritely Stella in just a couple of hours than I had in months. It felt nice. "See you around."

"I called myself from your phone so I'd have your number, too," she told me as she walked backwards down the hall. "We should hang out some time."

I found myself answering, "I'd like that," and genuinely meaning it. I still didn't want to make a lot of connections in Sommerspoint, but I liked the idea of having Stella in my corner. I could already tell she was going to be a good person to have around.

"Cool. I'll call you later."

The rest of the morning went by without any issues. I'd paid more attention to each classroom I walked into, not wanting to risk another run-in with Parker if it could be avoided. Luckily, we didn't have many classes together and those we did share, I was able to find a vacant desk far enough away from him that I didn't have to deal with his annoyingly demanding presence. When I walked into Biology, he was sitting at a table with another guy who looked to be around Parker's height, but where Parker was leanly muscled, the other guy was beefier. The first thing that popped into my head was that he had to have been one of the jocks Stella was talking about. Their heads were leaned in as they talked, and I thought I could get past unnoticed. I was wrong.

"Hey, Freya! Come sit here," Parker called just as I stepped up next to his table. "Dude, move somewhere else," he said to the guy next to him, elbowing him in the ribs.

"No, thanks." I answered quickly, not bothering to stop. I'd spotted a seat at the table in the back and I was determined to get there before I got sucked into Parker's vortex.

I sat at my table and hefted my bag onto the top. I'd been so focused on avoiding Parker that I hadn't noticed the person sitting next to me until he spoke.

"Hi. I'm Michael."

I turned to see a boy smiling at me. He was good-looking enough, with sandy blond hair and pale blue eyes. He didn't have the same in-your-face persona Parker had, but he was still attractive.

I offered a polite smile. "Freya. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too. So, you're the new girl everyone is talking about, huh?"

I groaned and rubbed at my temples. "Yeah, I guess that would be me. No offense, but don't you guys have anything better to talk about around here than some new student?"

He laughed good-naturedly. "No offense taken, and no, not really. Sorry, but in a town this size, we're limited on entertainment. You're probably going to be it for the next few months."

"Lovely," I deadpanned.

"We had a foreign exchange student once. I think he was from Brazil or something. You should have seen the commotion _that_ caused."

"Well, fingers crossed someone else comes along to take over the title of 'new kid'. I'm not really big on attention."

We both remained silent as we prepared for class to start. A few minutes later, Michael asked, "So, you know Parker Owens?"

My head fell back with a sigh. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I don't know the guy! I ran into him once, that's it. And it wasn't all that pleasant of an experience."

I looked over at Michael to see he was a little startled by my sudden outburst. "Sorry," I quickly apologized. "It's been an exhausting day."

He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, no problem. I only asked because he keeps staring back here. He looks pissed."

I turned my attention to Parker's table at the front of the room. Sure enough, he and the jock he was sitting with were staring back at me. The muscle head looked amused while Parker studied me with narrowed eyes. Just like at the beach, it felt like he could see too deeply inside my head. I quickly averted my gaze from his penetrating stare. "He's weird," I mumbled, more to myself than to Michael.

"Well, you're one of the only girls in school to think that. Most of them would be falling over themselves for his attention."

I gave him a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, I'll pass. That's not really my style."

Luckily, the teacher chose that moment to walk into the room and begin class. I spent the rest of the period forcing myself to keep my head down, even though I could feel Parker's eyes on me the whole time.

* * *

As I stepped through the cafeteria doors, I scanned the tables looking for somewhere out of sight where I could sit in peace. Unfortunately, almost every table seemed to be filled with loud, boisterous teenagers. It wasn't until I saw a familiar cloud of unruly red curls that I breathed a sigh of relief. I made my way over to the table where Stella was sitting, dropping my bag in front of an empty chair.

"Someone sitting here?"

"No!" she responded excitedly. I was beginning to think Stella's response to almost everything was pure excitement. "Have a seat. I'm so glad we have the same lunch hour."

"Me, too." I gave her a small smile as I sat down and scooted my chair in, silently appraising the rest of the people around me. Obnoxiously loud laughter drew my attention to a table near the back of the cafeteria. As soon as my gaze fell onto a familiar pair of dark brown eyes, I instantly regretted looking in that direction. Parker sat front and center, surrounded by a group of people who just oozed _popular crowd_. I recognized a few of them, one being the bitchy girl, Brynn, I had English with and the other was the boy Parker had been sitting with in Biology. From how they were staring down other students and leaning in to snicker with each other, they didn't exactly come off as approachable. That tiny voice in my brain screamed for me to turn away, but something in Parker's eyes refused to release my gaze. I was stuck. His brows were drawn together as he stared at me, an unreadable expression on his face as his intent focus bore into me, sending a spark of electricity throughout my entire body.

"Those are the guys I was telling you about earlier." Stella's voice helped to pull me out of the intense moment I seemed to be having with Parker even from all the way across the room.

I blinked and shook my head to clear it as I turned back to Stella. "Huh?"

"Parker's friends," she said with a curl of her lip. "They're loud and annoying. Honestly, I don't know how he can stand most of them. They're a bunch of jerks."

I briefly glanced back in that direction to find Parker's eyes were still on me even though the perky little blonde at his side was doing everything in her power to get his attention.

"Who's the girl?" I asked, trying to mask the disgust on my face as Cheerleader Barbie practically shoved her entire tongue into his ear. "She looks like she's trying to taste his brain."

Stella's cheerful laughter cut through the raucous sounds of the table we were discussing. "That's his ex, Cassidy."

"They don't look much like exes to me," I said, turning my full attention to Stella and trying my hardest to ignore their table.

"Yeah, you'd think that...except for the fact he that can't seem to take his eyes off you." She gave me a little wink as a huge smile spread across her face. I let out a scoffing laugh in an effort to ignore the heat setting my face on fire. "Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself."

Against my better judgment, my head moved back in the direction of Parker's table. Sure enough, his eyes hadn't moved an inch, only it was no longer just him who was focused on me. The look on Cassidy's face was full of animosity as she glared at me. Brynn leaned over and whispered something in her ear before they both looked back at me, their lips tilted down in twin expressions that let me knew I wasn't going to be making friends with them any time soon. Parker seemed oblivious to the laser beams his girlfriend—or _ex_ -girlfriend—was shooting at me, but one thing was for sure. If those were the types of people he chose to associate with, then Parker Owens wasn't someone I needed to be spending any time around.

* * *

The bell dismissing school finally rang and I let out a sigh of relief, thankful for the day to be over. But as soon as I stepped through the door, that relief was replaced with frustration. Rain was pouring down in sheets as the wind blew fiercely. We were in the middle of a decent storm, and I was without a car or an umbrella.

I sucked in a deep breath, stepped out from under the awning that covered the front door of the school and began my trek home. The rain beat down on me as I started up the road leading to my house. I was surprised by just how cold each frigid drop felt against my skin as it fell from the sky. I hadn't dressed appropriately for such a drastic temperature drop. I'd barely made it halfway home when my teeth began chattering. My soaked t-shirt and jeans did nothing to ward off the chill that had my body trembling. I hugged my arms around my waist, trying to get any semblance of warmth I could, but it was useless. My feet were numb, my fingers were tingling, and I was pretty sure my lips had turned blue.

_This sucks!_ I was really starting to despise Sommerspoint.

When I heard the sound of a truck approaching from behind me, I stepped to the side of the road as best I could so it could pass, trying not to slip and slide along the soft shoulder.

I kept my head down, embarrassment heating my cheeks as I silently prayed that whoever was passing wouldn't recognize me. 'Drowned rat' wasn't really a good look for me. I listened closely to the sound of the tires on the road and to the shift of the engine, hoping the driver of the truck would just keep going, but of course I couldn't have been that lucky.

"Freya?" The chill that ran down my spine just then wasn't from the cold. I kept walking, thinking that if I didn't acknowledge Parker, he'd just move along. Unfortunately, that wasn't what he'd had in mind. I could see his truck in my peripheral vision, creeping along next to me as I kept walking. "Freya, get in the truck. Let me give you a ride home."

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Out of everyone who had to drive by as I walked home in the rain, why did it have to be the strange boy who seemed to evoke emotions in me that I'd been trying desperately to ignore?

"I'm f...f...fine," I stuttered as I tried to suppress a shiver.

"You're not fine. You're freezing. Just let me take you home."

"I s...said I'm f...fine."

"Your lips are purple, Freya. Stop being so difficult. If you don't get in the truck, I'll just keep driving alongside you. Imagine how much fun that'll be. All those pissed-off drivers trailing behind me, honking their horns, all because you're being stubborn."

Damn it. He had me there. It was as if he knew how much I hated drawing attention to myself and he was using that against me. My eyes were narrowed into slits as I made my way around the hood of the truck, scowling at him the entire time. I jerked the passenger door open and climbed in, slamming it closed more forcefully than necessary.

"You know," Parker started as he put the truck into gear and began driving. "You have a real messed-up way of showing appreciation."

I kept my focus pointed out the passenger window as the heat in the cab of the truck finally began to ward off the worst of the chill. A twinge of guilt at how rude I'd just been kept me from making eye contact. With the exception of his behavior at the beach and his cockiness at school, he hadn't really done much else to deserve my bad attitude. I wasn't typically a rude person. It was just that with everything I had going on in my life, coupled with the strong, unwanted reaction I seemed to have to Parker, I felt like I was losing control. The grip I had on my life was shaky enough. Each time Parker looked at me with those expressive eyes, I felt like it was slipping further from my hands.

"Sorry," I murmured. The warmth of my breath as I spoke hit the passenger window, causing it to fog up. I kept my gaze on the abstract pattern as it grew smaller and smaller before finally disappearing.

"Wow," he replied dryly. "Your enthusiasm just brought a tear to my eye."

At his sarcasm, I finally turned my body toward him and threw my hands up. "Jeez, I said I was sorry. What more do you want?"

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "How about a little sincerity? You know, I didn't have to pull over and give you a ride. I could have just let you freeze to death."

"If I remember correctly, I didn't _ask_ for a ride in the first place. You basically bullied me into your truck."

"Unbelievable," he grumbled under his voice. "Are you always such a ray of freaking sunshine?"

"Nope." I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled sardonically. "Just with you."

I could see the muscle in his jaw ticking as he glared out the windshield. "Lovely."

We remained silent for the rest of the drive. A few minutes later, Parker pulled up to my house and shut off the engine. "You really don't like me, do you?"

I pulled the strap of my bag over my shoulder and took a deep breath, prepared to give him the God's honest truth. I could only hope it would be enough to get him to back off. "Look, I appreciate the ride, really, and I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch. Don't take this personally, but I'm not looking to make any friends, okay? I didn't even want to move to this stupid town. I just want to get through this year and get the hell out here. I'm not looking to make any connections along the way. I'm perfectly fine on my own."

His dark eyes narrowed as he studied me again, sending a disconcerting shiver down my spine. I hated how he could do that. It felt like with just one look, he saw every one of my secrets.

"You didn't seem to have a problem getting to know that redhead in our English class."

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, only I did it in disgust. "That _redhead_ is Stella. You've know her since you were little kids. You'd probably remember her if you pulled your head out of your ass long enough to bother thinking about someone other than yourself or one of your followers. You're missing out; she's a pretty awesome person." I shoved the door open and stepped out, delivering one last parting shot before slamming it shut on him. "Thanks for the ride, Parker, but do me a favor. Next time you see me walking along the side of the road, just keep driving."

I didn't bother to look back at him as I ran through the rain up to my house.

# Chapter Five

### Parker

My cellphone rang as I climbed from my truck to collect the mail. It was something I made sure to do every day after I got home from school. I'd grab the mail and rifle through, making sure there was nothing in there that could possibly set my mom off. After crumpling the pamphlet for a local swim camp and shoving it below my seat, I grabbed my phone and checked to see who had just called. A groan of annoyance rumbled up my throat at Cassidy's name on the screen. That girl was really starting to become a problem. No matter how many times I told her we were never going to be a couple, she still refused to get it, even after I pulled her aside after lunch and told her to keep her hands to herself in public. It was long past time to end our little friends-with-benefits arrangement. It wasn't working for me anymore.

I tossed my phone into my backpack and threw my truck into drive, heading up the driveway to my house. I said a quick prayer as I pushed the front door open, hoping that today would be a good day.

"Mom, I'm home," I called as I dropped my stuff by the door and headed for the living room. She was laying on her side, stretched out on the couch with the TV on mute. She didn't move as I slowly walked around the side. Her red-rimmed eyes were focused on the silent television set as she sniffled and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. At least it looked like she'd managed to shower.

"You okay?" I asked softly as I knelt down in front of her, moving her dark hair off her forehead. She pushed herself up and gave me a small smile.

"Yeah, honey. I'm okay. Just a little emotional."

My brow quirked skeptically as I studied her. "You sure?"

She stood from the couch and attempted to brush the wrinkles from her clothes. "Yeah, baby. I'll be fine. Today was an okay day. You need to stop worrying about me. I'm going to start dinner. Why don't you go get washed up?" She walked from the room, leaving me with no other option than to do as she said. She wasn't great, but I'd seen her much worse. Over the past few years I'd learned to take what I could get, and if Mom insisted she was all right, then I was going to leave her be.

As I headed for my room, Freya's earlier words came back to me. The memory of her looking at me with such distaste, like I was the king of all assholes felt like a lead weight sitting at the bottom of my stomach. She had no problem calling me out on my less-than-stellar behavior, and I was ashamed to admit it, but she was right. I'd allowed myself to get so lost in the lives of the people around me that I'd lost a part of myself along the way—the part that made me a decent human-being. I didn't want to live like I had been for the past three years. I was done. But more than that, I wanted to prove Freya wrong. I wanted her to see that I wasn't the person she thought I was.

A smirk spread across my face as I fell back onto my bed and began forming a plan in my head. Proving Freya wrong was going to be a lot of fun.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

A few nights later, I sat on my bed flipping through one of our old photo albums, looking at pictures of my mother. She'd always been crafty, and our bookshelves had been full of handmade albums she's spent countless hours on. When we'd unpacked, I hadn't bothered putting any of them on the shelves in our new living room. I'd kept them neatly stacked in my closet so I could go through them whenever I started to really miss her. My father hadn't said anything, so I'd just assumed he'd forgotten all about them.

Each picture of her smiling face brought with it a memory that sent a twinge of pain straight through my heart. I gazed down at the picture of us at the beach standing hand in hand at the water's edge, staring out at its beauty. I was ten years old when we'd taken that family vacation, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. I smiled through my tears as I recalled that day so vividly.

* * *

_" Always watch the sun set, Freya. No matter how busy you are, or where you are, always take the time to enjoy the sunset."_

_I looked up at my mom as she stared peacefully out at the water. "Why? What's so special about them?"_

_She turned her head smiled softly down at me. "It's the kind of beauty only God can create, sweetheart. Nothing in life can compare. You'll never see anything as beautiful as the scattered colors that float across the sky. Every sunset is like a watercolor painting God made just for you. It's a gift, but sometimes people get so busy they forget to appreciate what's given to them every day."_

_She reached down to stroke her fingers across my temple, tucking a piece of loose hair behind my ear. "I don't want you to go through life so busy that you forget to look up and enjoy what God's created for you. Even if it's only for a second. Each and every one is special. Nothing in life is guaranteed, Freya. You can't predict how many days you'll have on this Earth, how many more sunsets you'll be here to see. I want you to make me a promise. Always watch the sun set, baby girl."_

_I turned from her to watch as the sun dipped down like it was falling into the ocean. "I promise, Mommy."_

* * *

I wasn't able to fully grasp what she was telling me back then, but as I looked down at the picture her words came back to me, and I understood what she'd been saying. She might have run out of sunsets, but I could still make sure to take in as many as possible, enjoying every one enough for the both of us.

"Is that one of the old photo albums?"

I turned my head, surprised to find my father standing in the doorway of my room. I was so lost in old memories I hadn't heard him arrive home.

"Yeah." I reached up with one hand and brushed the tears from my cheeks.

"So this is where they've all been," he said, a shadow of a smile on his lips as he took in all the old, handcrafted albums scattered across my bed. "I was wondering what happened to them in the move."

I closed the book in my lap and ran my fingers over the cover lightly, somewhat saddened that my father's appearance had cut my time with my mother and our memories short. "I didn't think you'd notice." I watched as my finger trailed a random pattern across the front of the album, refusing to meet my father's eyes as I added, "I didn't really think you cared."

The feel of the mattress sinking as Dad sat down drew my attention to him. His hands lay in his lap as he stared off into space as if he was picturing my mother in his head. It was the first time since she'd passed that I really took the time to look at my father. His dark hair was smattered with more gray than it had been months back, the wrinkles around his eyes and lips more prominent. Dark rings circled under his plain brown eyes, giving them a sunken appearance. He looked tired...older.

"It's not that I don't care, Freya. I just can't..."

"Cope," I finished for him when he went silent, unable to find the right word.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I guess you could say that."

More tears pricked at the backs of my eyes as I turned away from him. I didn't want him to see me cry. I hadn't received a single second of comfort from him so far, and I refused to let him see me hurting. I'd been handling the pain alone for months by that point. "I'm tired. I think I'm going to call it a night. Was there something you needed?" I asked.

His shoulders drooped as he turned and smiled at me sadly, making sure to keep his eyes steady on a spot over my shoulder. "No, honey. I don't need anything. I just wanted to see how school was going."

My stomach knotted at his endearment. I wanted so badly to believe the moment was going to be a defining one for the both of us, that things were going to finally start looking up, but I knew better. Months later and my own father still couldn't bear to look at me. He was drowning in his grief while I floated along in my own with no rescue in site. Nothing was going to change. Despite his detour into my bedroom, his expression and body language made it clear he didn't want to be there.

"Fine, I guess," I answered with a small shrug.

My father didn't bother hanging around any longer. Standing, he brushed at a piece of imaginary lint on his slacks. "Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Good night."

"Night, Dad."

He made it to the door before he looked over his shoulder. "I love you, Freya. Very much." His voice broke at the end as his eyes shined with unshed tears. "I'm sorry."

And with that he was gone. I pushed the albums aside and curled up in my bed. I cried myself to sleep that night, letting the weight of my tears pull me under, providing me with an escape from my lonely life, even if just for a little while

* * *

The next morning, Stella met me at my locker with a bright, cheerful smile on her face. "Freya!" she shouted, causing my already-pounding head to throb incessantly. The previous night's tears might have helped to sleep, but they had caused puffy eyes and an aching head by the time the sun came up. I was in store for a miserable day. I could feel it.

"Shh," I whispered.

"Oh, my God. Are you sick? You look like crap!"

I shot her a glare and started the process of opening my locker, turning the dial then whacking the door to get it unstuck. "Thanks a lot."

She gave me a tiny smile and shrugged. "Sorry, but it's true. Your eyes are all puffy and red. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I told her as I reached into my locker for my book before shutting the door. "Just had a long night. Let's get to class."

Thankfully, she didn't ask any more questions as we walked into Mrs. Wilkins' classroom. We took our seats and I couldn't help but notice Parker hadn't made it in yet. However, his little friend _Brynn_ was there, already giving me the stink eye. Although I'd managed to go a few days without any more unwanted attention from Parker, I _hadn't_ managed to get on Brynn's good side. Each morning, she looked at me with the same expression of contempt painted on her face.

"What's her problem?" I whispered to Stella as I leaned over to take my notebook out of my bag.

She leaned closer to me after peeking around to make sure no one was watching. "Brynn is Cassidy's best friend. That whole crew thinks Parker is Cassidy's property or something. I guess she saw how he's been looking at you and didn't like it.

Great, just what I needed, some band of Barbies putting a bullseye on my back at the very beginning of the year.

"All the guy did was talk to me," I told her. "That's it. We aren't even friends."

Her expression held a combination of skepticism and concern as she said, "Well, either way, I'd be careful if I were you. Those girls can be really nasty when they put their minds to it. And trust me, that's pretty much _all_ they put their minds to."

"Well, that's just perfect. The last thing I need is to be on their radar."

"Oh, sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but you're already there, front and center. With how Parker acted around you that first day, it's all anyone can talk about."

I opened my mouth to tell her there was nothing between the two of us when Parker came walking into the classroom just before the final bell rang. I tried not to look, but my eyes had a mind of their own as he sauntered through the room like he owned the place. I held my breath as he walked past, sliding into the desk right behind me. It didn't do any good. That strange pull I felt every time he was around hadn't lessened any since the evening before.

"Hey, Stella. How's it going?" My bewildered gaze shot over to Stella, stunned that he spoke to her after not having a clue who she was just days before. When I turned to look at my friend, she was wearing the same wide-eyed expression I was.

"Uh...hi, Parker. I...I'm good."

"Awesome, glad to hear it."

Mrs. Wilkins began talking from the front of the room as Stella gawked at me, her face screaming _what the hell was that_? All I could do was shrug.

My attention was pulled to the people behind me when I heard Brynn hiss at Parker. "What the hell's wrong with you? Did you hit your head or something? Since when do we talk to white trash?"

I wanted to reach around and smack the makeup right off her face. However, I stayed silent, unmoving, too interested in hearing Parker's reaction to do anything else.

" _We_ don't do anything. _I_ can talk to whoever I want, whenever I want. Get the stick outta your ass, Brynn. You'll be more comfortable."

I tried to hold down the laugh that wanted to escape at his retort, but unfortunately all it did was make it come out in a loud snort. The cough I followed up with did nothing to mask that I'd been listening in, and when I turned around to look, Brynn was glaring at me so hard I thought lasers were going to pop out of her eyes at any moment.

Luckily, Mrs. Wilkins spoke up right then, "Okay, class. You're in for a treat today. I'm going to have you partner up with another student..."

A collective groan rumbled through the room at the thought of whatever team project our teacher had planned. And I swear, Mrs. Wilkins grinned at everyone's misery.

"We'll be reading _The Crucible_ ," she stated as she began handing out papers. "I've put together a list of discussion points I want you and your partner to go over. At the end of the month, I want a four-page paper with your opinions on each topic."

I started to shift my desk toward Stella's, assuming I'd partner up with her, when Parker's voice rang out.

"Mrs. Wilkins, I'd like to volunteer to be Freya's partner. You know, since she's new and doesn't really have any friends."

My cheeks instantly burned red and the tips of my ears heated with embarrassment as everyone around me chuckled.

"How chivalrous of you," she replied banally. "But how about we ask Freya what she wants, hmm?"

Curious eyes gawked at me from all different directions, waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was, "Uh..."

"Fantastic!" Parker exclaimed with a clap from behind me. "Let's get our learn on."

The sound of desks shuffling echoed off the walls. I shot a look at Stella who was giggling at my dilemma as she moved closer to the kid on her right. The traitor.

"That desk isn't going to move itself." Parker laughed, clearly enjoying my discomfort. Begrudgingly, I began to spin my desk around to face his, moving as slowly as I possibly could.

"You just don't give up, do you?" I whispered once we were face to face. It took all my energy not to get sucked into those eyes that seemed to see everything. Parker's lips quirked up in a knowing smirk, drawing attention to his ever-present lip ring. "What can I say? I'm a persistent guy."

"And I said I didn't want to make any new friends," I shot back. My emotions were rioting inside of me, one side annoyed he was becoming such a nuisance while the other was secretly thrilled at his attention. For as much as I didn't want to be near him, I found myself drawn to Parker, even when he wasn't around. During the times I wasn't wallowing in my own heartache, my thoughts were all about him. I thought about what he might see when he stared at me so intensely, about what that messy hair would feel like if I ran my fingers through it. My traitorous mind even focused on what his lip ring might feel like if I were to kiss him. Parker was dangerous for me. But even though I knew that, I was still undeniably fascinated by him.

"Yeah, I thought about that and figured you must not really know what you want after all. I mean, I'm a pretty awesome friend to have. You'll realize it eventually."

Choosing to ignore the tugging match going on inside my head and trying not to feed into his ego, I quickly shifted the subject off me. "Since when do you know Stella? The other day you couldn't even remember her name and now you're acting like you two are close?"

Parker leaned in and rested his forearms on his desk, staring intently. "I never said I didn't know her, Freya. I just forgot her name, that's all. I'm kind of bad about stuff like that."

I immediately shot back, refusing to admit that maybe he wasn't the bad guy I'd made him out to be. "And what kind of self-centered jerk doesn't remember the name of someone he's known since they were kids, huh? You really think you're an awesome friend, Parker? Because from what I've seen, you're just like every other popular asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else."

He grinned, which did nothing but infuriate me more. "We'll see what you think of me by the end of the month, gorgeous."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Just calling it like I see it," he said with a casual shrug.

I was in Hell, and that Hell was called Sommerspoint. And I was convinced Parker Owens was the devil.

* * *

As I walked into Biology later that morning, I was relieved to see I had managed to beat Parker to class. I was safe to head to the back table without interruption...or so I thought. As I started down the aisle, the jock Parker had been sitting with all week put his leg up, propping his foot on the table across the aisle and blocking my way. He leered at me with an unfriendly sneer on his face. I hadn't spoken a word to the guy, yet I already knew I didn't like him. Standing there awkwardly as he stared me down had me feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey there, new girl."

"Excuse me," I spoke through my discomfort, keeping my eyes pinned to the dingy, laminate floor. I didn't want to look at him at the risk of egging him on.

He dropped his leg but pushed his chair in the way. "I'm sorry, am I blocking you?"

I finally managed to meet his mean grin and narrowed my eyes. "Please move," I asked through clenched teeth.

"You're a good-looking little thing, aren't you?"

I glanced around the room looking for the teacher, but the final bell hadn't rung yet and he was nowhere to be found. I noticed we'd garnered attention from several of our classmates and felt the blush start to creep up my cheeks.

"I just want to get to my seat," I told him.

"What are you willing to do for it?"

Just then, a familiar deep voice rumbled from behind me, sending a chill through my body. "Move out of the way, Seth. _Now_."

I spun around and was quickly thrown off-kilter by how close Parker was standing to me. His cologne wafted my way, muddying my senses and making me desperate to find out what he was wearing. At the same time, the fierce look on his face was enough to make even _me_ want to cower away in fear. He looked downright murderous as he stared his friend down.

"Ah, come on, Park. I was just having a little fun with the new girl."

Parker spoke in a low, menacing tone, "I don't give a shit what you were doing. You don't mess with Freya. You hear me?"

Considering Seth's size, and the fact that he had at least twenty pounds on Parker, the fact that he looked just as uncomfortable as I felt truly was astonishing. In that moment, I knew Parker was not someone to be fooled with.

"She knew I was just teasing. Didn't you, Freya."

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled. As soon as he moved his chair, I hurried back to my seat, ignoring the concern etched into Michael's expression as he looked at me. My mind was too jumbled to engage in conversation with my tablemate so I kept my head down. I couldn't put my finger on Parker. One minute he was rude, the next, charming. I'd come to expect that from him, since it seemed to be his personality. However, talking to Stella earlier and defending me against Seth...well, that was most definitely unexpected behavior. I found myself wondering who exactly Parker Owens was. And what was it about him that had me so intrigued.

# Chapter Six

### Freya

The sun was minutes from setting as I slid my feet into my tennis shoes. As I headed for the back door, a knock at the front stopped me in my tracks. As I turned and headed in the other direction, I shot up a silent plea that whoever stood on the other side made their business quick. I had somewhere I really needed to be.

When I pulled the door open, I was shocked to see Parker standing on the front stoop. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me a self-satisfied smirk as he put a hand to his chest. "Ah, gorgeous. Your welcome is so touching. I'm happy to see you, too."

Folding my arms over my chest, I lowered my eyelids into slits, trying desperately not to think about how good he looked with his tattered jeans and messy hair. His shirt was covered by a dark gray hoodie, but if I'd had to guess, he was wearing a basic t-shirt underneath. In the few days I'd known him, I'd come to realize Parker dressed more for comfort than flash. "Seriously, Parker. Why are you here?

"I seem to remember us teaming up on a project together."

I'd completely forgotten about our English assignment. He couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time to remind me. "You mean the project you bullied me into partnering up with you for?"

He snapped his fingers. "That's the one. Glad you remembered."

"Look, I was just about to leave. Can we do this another time?"

He straightened from where he was leaning against the doorframe and shoved his hands in his pockets, his expression suddenly full of excitement. "Where are we going?"

" _We_ aren't going anywhere. I'm heading down to the beach," I answered as I pushed past him and pulled the door shut. He wasn't deterred as I walked along the side of the house toward the cliff; he simply followed along as if he'd been invited.

"What a coincidence! I was just thinking of heading down to the beach."

I came to an abrupt stop, circling around so we were standing face to face, "Seriously, Parker. We'll work on the paper another day. I just want to be by myself right now, okay?"

The charming smile melted from his lips as his brows lowered. His face lost all its humor as he looked at me thoughtfully. "You're big on being by yourself, aren't you? Don't you ever get lonely, Freya?"

My heart squeezed painfully at his question. If only he knew just how lonely I really was. No longer able to look into his perceptive eyes, I turned toward the water, seeing the sun had already begun its descent.

"All right. You can come with me." I spun around and jabbed my finger into his chest, stating seriously, "But no talking."

One of his brows lifted as the corner of his mouth quirked up. "Seriously? I can't talk at all?"

"That's the deal, Parker. Take it or leave it."

"Fine," he huffed indignantly. "Lead the way, gorgeous."

We walked in silence as we made our way down the path leading to the beach below. I took a seat on the same log I sat on my first day there; the same day I'd met Parker. It felt strange to have him there with me, but oddly comforting at the same time. I sat quietly, in awe at the beauty of the different colors scattered across the sky. I'd forgotten the tranquility of watching the sun as it went down, bringing an end to the day. Shades of light pinks and yellows morphed into a fiery orange before the sky began to turn a light purple. As that purple deepened into a brilliant indigo, Parker spoke.

"What are we doing?" Even though he'd broken my 'no talking' rule, he'd still been considerate enough to whisper.

"Watching the sunset," I answered softly.

"Ah." Peaceful silence resumed for all of thirty seconds before he asked, "Why?"

I remained quiet for several more seconds before answering. "It's just something that's important to me." I wasn't ready to open up to Parker about my promise to my mother. I wanted to keep that piece of her to myself for as long as I possibly could.

"You're a puzzle, Freya Linden. You know that?"

I looked at him curiously. "How do you mean?"

He leaned back and rested his palms on the smooth, weathered wood of the log as he studied the calm water. "I see something in your eyes when I look at you. You just seem so...sad...all the time. You claim you don't want to make any connections, but the moment I said something in reference to Stella that rubbed you the wrong way, you didn't hesitate to chew my ass out. You were protective of her. I think there's a lot more to you than you're willing to let people see."

My gut had told me Parker was more perceptive than other boys his age, but I hadn't realized just how much until right then. The last thing I wanted was for him to dig deeper to try and figure out what made me tick. At that point in my life, I was just trying to get through each day. Anything else would have been too much.

"I'm curious to know what I'll find if I peel back all your layers."

"I'm not an onion, Parker," I deadpanned.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him studying my profile, and I had no doubt he saw more there than most other people. "There's something about you, Freya," he said quietly. I didn't respond, hoping if I ignored the statement he'd let it go.

As the shadow of evening slid across the water toward the beach, I shivered at the drop in temperature. Without a word, Parker pulled his hoodie over his head and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said with a small smile as I pulled it on. I basked in its warmth, inhaling discreetly, taking in as much of Parker's scent as I could without him noticing.

The kind gesture left me feeling out of sorts. I didn't know how to act around Parker when we weren't butting heads.

"You aren't going to make this easy, are you, gorgeous?"

I stared down at the pebbles on the beach, understanding exactly what he was asking. "It's better this way. I don't have room in my life to let anyone in right now, Parker. Believe me, you're best off just letting it go. I've got too much baggage. I'm not someone you want to be friends with."

He smiled softly and nudged my shoulder with his own. "Well, that's not really fair," he joked. "You're already friends with Stella. What does she have that I don't? It's boobs, isn't it?"

Despite the heavy mood still lingering in the air, I laughed. "She's a force," I answered. "She makes it impossible not to like her."

His put his fingers under my chin and applied gentle pressure, lifting my face so I could see him. "Yeah? And what about me?"

A light-hearted smile spread across my lips as I joked, "Oh, you make it _very_ easy not to like you. Has anyone ever told you that you can be exceedingly annoying when you want to be?"

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me," he answered with a grin.

A chilly breeze blew across my face. Even with the warmth of Parker's hoodie, I still felt cold. "It's getting late. I should get back." I stood from the log and started toward the path before the sky darkened too much for us to see our way.

"What about the paper?" Parker asked from beside me once we'd navigated our way up the path and were walking across my backyard.

"I guess we can start on it tomorrow. Is that okay? I'm pretty drained right now. I don't think I'd be very helpful."

We'd just rounded the corner to the front of the house when he stopped and turned to me. "Tell you what, I'll make you a deal of my own."

I studied his expression closely, trying to find the reason for the cocky grin he was currently sporting. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

"Just hear me out. I've already read _The Crucible_ and I'd be willing to write the paper myself. But you'd have to do something for me in return."

I lifted a skeptical brow as I asked, "And what makes you think I'd trust you enough to write the paper all on your own? For all I know, you're lying and you've never even heard of _The Crucible_. By the way, watching the movie with Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't count."

"First of all," he said, lifting his finger in the air. "Your lack of faith wounds me, Freya. And secondly, I've had a 4.0 GPA for the past three years. I'd be willing to bet I could write a better paper than you in my sleep. And third, I learned my lesson on using movies instead of books when I watched Demi Moore in _The Scarlet Letter._ That was two hours of my life I'm never getting back."

My head fell back in laughter. "Did you fail?"

"Hell, no! I rocked that shit. But seriously, worst movie ever," he shuddered.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him with curiosity. "Fine. Let's say I take this bet. What do you want in return?"

"Ah, now that's the easy part, Freya. All I want in return is your friendship."

I gawked at him in bewilderment. I was so sure he was going to ask for something ridiculous like my first-born child or something. Once again, Parker had surprised me.

"That's it? All you want is for us to be friends?"

He took a step closer. Only inches separated our bodies, and I couldn't help but think about how easy it would be to just lean into him, to close the miniscule space between us and press my lips against his. Parker's lip ring shined in the soft glow of my porch light, toying with me.

"That's it. Everyone needs friends, Freya. Even you. You can't keep everyone out forever."

He was right. I knew that. And for the first time since moving to Sommerspoint, the thought of making connections didn't seem so bad. "I think I can do that."

A huge, beaming smile spread across his face right before he pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. "I knew I'd wear you down!" he exclaimed as he let me go, startling a laugh from me. As he started down the driveway, I finally noticed his truck wasn't parked in front of my house.

"Hey," I called out. "Where's your truck?"

"Just another benefit of being my friend, gorgeous," he said as he looked back over his shoulder. "We're neighbors."

Halfway down the drive, he cut across the side yard into the wooded area that separated our house from the one next to us.

"See you tomorrow, friend!" he yelled as he disappeared between the trees and into the darkness.

Maybe being friends with Parker Owens wasn't going to be so bad after all

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

As I walked into my house, a sense of relief washed over me. Ever since I stumbled onto that gorgeous, weird girl down on the beach, looking so sad and broken, I hadn't been able to get her out of my head. It had been driving me insane. She consumed my thoughts. Every time I saw her, I found myself unable to quell the urge to do anything and everything to get her attention, be it good or bad. I didn't know what was happening to me. All I knew was after that very first moment, I'd become obsessed. When she told me she didn't want to make any friends, I became hell-bent on changing her mind.

I didn't know why. I had no clue what it was about that girl that had me chasing after her. But after watching the sunset together, I felt more determined than ever to get to the bottom of who the real Freya was. My gut told me that there was something special about her, that I was lucky just to know someone like her.

Maybe stumbling upon her that day at the beach had been destiny. I needed someone like her in my life. I felt a healing presence every time she was around, like she was a soothing balm to my soul. And maybe, just maybe, I would be able to help her heal, as well. I wanted to help push away whatever darkness she had inside of her simply so I could stand back and watch those brilliant blue eyes light up.

In the short time I'd known her, Freya had helped keep my own darkness at bay. She opened my world up to colors I hadn't even known existed. With every passing day, I found myself desperate to do the same for her and after watching the sunset, I wanted it even more.

"Hey, sweetheart," my mom called from the kitchen. I headed in there to see her standing over the stove, preparing dinner. Her eyes weren't bloodshot or red-rimmed. The smile she graced me with was genuine. She was happy.

I walked over to her and bent to place a kiss on the top of her head. "Hey, Mom. How's it going?"

"It's going good, honey." Her dark eyes met mine, narrowing slightly as she took in my huge smile. Her head cocked to the side as she said with curiosity, "You seem to be in a good mood. You haven't been getting into any trouble, have you?"

My head fell back with a loud laugh, and I pulled her into my side for a quick hug. "No trouble, Mom. I just had a good day."

"Well, I'm glad." She stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on my cheek before going back to cooking. "Dinner's almost ready, so go clean up."

I headed to my room with a newfound determination coursing through me. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I actually had a purpose.

I was going to help bring Freya Linden back to life.

# Chapter Seven

### Freya

After watching the sunset with Parker, I spent the rest of the night filling out college applications before finally falling into a blissfully dreamless sleep, not waking until the next morning. I got ready for school feeling lighter than I had in months, and for the first time since moving to Sommerspoint, I didn't carry dread at the thought of a new day the way I had before. My newfound friendship with Parker seemed to have lifted a little of the weight I'd been carrying on my chest for the past four months. As I stared out the back window at the early morning sun beaming down on the ocean, I felt a twinge of excitement. It was something I'd longed to feel since my mother passed but was afraid I'd never get back.

It was strange, but agreeing to accept Parker's friendship had been like opening a sealed window and breathing in fresh air for the first time in a long time. It was a relief. I couldn't explain why he was able to evoke such strong feelings in me, but just like with every other emotion, the comfort I felt because of him was substantial. The decision I'd made to keep myself closed off was beginning to feel like a vise squeezing my chest until I couldn't stand it. Since our move across the country, my life hadn't gotten any better by keeping myself locked behind a thick wall. Maybe it was time to make some changes.

"Well, someone's looking chipper this morning," Stella beamed as I walked up to my locker.

I looked over at her with a smile that matched her typically cheerful one. "I had a good night."

She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to expand on my statement. When I didn't, she simply shrugged. "Well, I don't know what happened to you before you got here, but I'm just glad you're happy right now. You always look so...sad. Seeing you happy makes me happy."

I didn't know if it was possible for Stella to get any more lovable than she already was, but she managed to push the envelope day after day. When she said things like that, I just wanted to squeeze her. We'd been friends for such a short amount of time, yet I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. She was so genuine. I'd never met a girl with a bigger heart. Because her kindness was so sincere, I couldn't help what I did next. I reached over and scooped her into a big hug and it felt terrific.

"Well, this is a pleasant sight first thing in the morning."

Stella and I broke apart and looked up to see Parker coming toward us. His signature smirk was present on his pierced lips as he walked through the hall like he did everywhere else, like he was the ruler of everything. "Please, ladies, don't stop on my account. I was enjoying that more than you know. Keep hugging. And if the mood strikes to throw a kiss in the mix, I'll be more than happy to watch."

Stella giggled as I reached up and smacked Parker in the shoulder. "You seem awfully chipper," I joked as he rubbed where I'd just hit.

"What can I say? I had a good night," he winked.

"You, too?" Stella asked. "Freya came in all cheerful this morning saying she had a good night, also."

Parker's grin got even wider as he looked at me, and I could feel my cheeks and the tips of my ears heating. Being fair-skinned and easy to blush was a curse. "Is that right, gorgeous?"

I glared at him as soon as the endearment passed his lips but it was too late. By Stella's gasp, she'd heard and misinterpreted its meaning. "Are you two...? Oh, my GOD!" she squealed, jumping up and down. "You totally are!"

I held my hands up in an attempt to calm her mini-freak out. "We're just friends, Stella. That's all."

Parker threw his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. "That's right. Weird-named Freya over here finally showed some mercy on me. We're the bestest of buds now. We might even go and get one of those little heart necklaces that say 'best friends forever'. You know, the ones that break apart? What do ya say, gorgeous? I'm calling the _be frie for_ part. That piece is totally mine."

"Awe," she cooed. "That's so cute."

Parker cocked his head to the side as he studied her. "Anyone ever tell you you're like an energetic little fairy?"

At that, Stella and I both broke out in a fit of laughter.

"What? What'd I say?"

The bell rang for us to get to class and the two of us linked arms, leaving Parker behind as we made our way to Mrs. Wilkins' room. He jogged to catch up just as we entered. I kept my head down, ignoring the threatening stares from Brynn before taking a seat at my desk. I could practically feel the hate radiating off her as her glare burrowed into my back.

"Her panties seem to be in an exceptionally tight bunch today," Stella whispered as she sneered at Brynn. We both chuckled as we pulled our books from our bags.

"What are you two giggling about?" Parker leaned in and breathed against my neck.

"Lean back," I hissed, both thrilled and anxious at his close proximity. My stomach felt like a million hummingbirds had taken flight in it. Despite my earlier revelation that being friends with Parker was a good thing, I wasn't quite capable of handling the nervous energy I felt around him. I didn't _want_ to be attracted to him; I wanted to think of him strictly in a platonic sense. But he just had to go and be so damn cute. The jerk.

"What's the matter, gorgeous?" I could hear the smile in Parker's voice as he spoke. "Does me being close make you feel all tingly?" I grabbed my pen and turned just far enough around to pop him on the head with it.

"Ow! Dammit! What was that for?"

"You're gonna get us both in trouble." I tried to make it sound as though I was concerned about the teacher catching us talking during class. The truth was it was the prying eyes of the other students around us that had a ball of apprehension tightening my chest.

"You know, if we weren't besties, my feelings might be a little hurt right now." Stella giggled from beside me, and God help me but I couldn't hold back my own laugh. Parker just made it too easy to forget all the difficult things.

"Just so you know," he leaned in and whispered against my ear again, sending a thrill up my spine. "You smell really, _really_ good this morning." My stomach did a massive somersault. Oh, Lord. That boy was going to be the death of me

* * *

Going into Biology later that morning, I made sure to walk at a fast clip past Parker's table, only offering a limp wave in acknowledgement. I should have known that wasn't going to satisfy his appetite for attention. As soon as my books were on the table, his large shadow was looming over me. I looked up to see him standing on the other side across from me, his signature smirk firmly in place.

"What, no hug hello?" he asked cheekily.

A low groan rumbled in my chest. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Ooh, nice SAT word, gorgeous. I'm impressed."

There was no way I could let Parker or anyone else in the room see just how much he was affecting me, especially with Seth looking back at us with a confused expression, so I did my best to play up my annoyance.

"Will you please go back to your table? It's not even lunch time and you're already bugging the crap out of me."

"All perks of our friendship, Freya. You'll get used to it." He smiled genuinely and I felt my heart skip a beat or two. Parker cut his eyes over to where Michael was sitting next to me, watching on in rapt fascination.

"You're Michael Pavlock, right?"

"Uh, y-yeah," Michael stuttered, obviously unsure why Parker was speaking to him. If I had to guess, I would have been willing to lay money on the fact that Michael was another one of the kids Parker hadn't bothered talking to until right at that moment.

What Parker said next floored me. "Keep your hands off my girl or I'll break your arm."

My eyes shot to his as I let out a startled laugh. His lips were tilted up in a smirk but there was no laughter in his dark brown eyes. I couldn't help but feel that, while he tried to brush it off as a joke, there was a definite underlying seriousness to his threat toward Michael. It led me to question what I'd gotten myself into by agreeing to become friends with my mysterious neighbor.

"Go away, Parker," I ground out between clenched teeth.

He returned his gaze to mine, his eyes smiling at me even though he'd just been slightly terrifying. "See ya later, sweetheart."

He walked away, leaving me reeling from his new endearment. First it was _gorgeous_ , then _sweetheart._ I knew I was in a whole mess of trouble when I wasn't able to tamp down the giddiness building up inside of me.

"So, are you two dating now or something?" Michael asked in a hushed voice as he watched Parker walk back to his own table.

"No, we're just friends. He just likes to be an asshole sometimes."

"Oh, okay. Good." Michael sat in contemplative silence for several seconds before turning back to me. "Do you think he meant it? You know, the whole breaking my arm part?"

I laughed nervously. "Of course not." The truth was I couldn't get a read on Parker well enough to know whether or not he'd been joking. God, I _really_ hoped he'd been joking.

"'Cause, I mean, he doesn't have anything to worry about. Not that you aren't pretty!" he rushed to add, ratcheting the discomfort at our table up tenfold. "I mean you are...pretty, that is. But, um...I kind of like someone else."

"Oh. Well...that's good." Thanks to Parker, Biology was going to be a complete disaster. On one hand, I had a tablemate so keyed up I was afraid a loud noise might cause him to wet himself. On the other hand, I couldn't quit playing Parker calling me 'his girl' over and over in my head. I liked that way more than I should have.

"You know Stella, right?" Michael cut in, interrupting my internal musings. "Aren't you two friends?"

"Uh, yeah. We're friends."

"Do you..." he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Do you know if she's seeing anyone?"

At his question, my face split into a grin so wide my cheeks began to ache. "As a matter of fact, I have it on good authority that she's _very_ single."

The excitement on his face was just too cute. I had a feeling I was going to enjoy playing matchmaker.

* * *

The moment I walked into the cafeteria, the whispers and sideways glances started same as every other day. I was really starting to despise being the new girl, and I knew a part of the fascination was my newfound friendship with Parker. My cheeks heated and the tips of my ears burned as I tried to ignore everyone around me while I made my way through the line. I kept my focus trained on the lunch lady as she piled mystery meat onto my tray, feigning calm collectiveness even though my heart felt like it was about to beat right out of my chest. The worst thing that could ever happen to someone as uncomfortable with attention as me was to move her to a small town where gossips ran rampant.

"Ew! What are you eating?" Stella scrunched her nose as I slid my tray onto the table and took a seat in front of her.

I glanced down at my plate. "Uh...meatloaf?"

She leaned in closer to get a better look. "I think that's supposed to be Salisbury steak, but I can't tell with all that goopy stuff on it."

"Really?" It was my turn to scrunch my nose as I pushed the tray away. She lifted her hands to take a bite of her sandwich. A turkey sandwich had never looked so good. I was starving, and there was no way I was eating that glob of meat-like substance in front of me.

"Yeah," Stella started when she caught me staring. "I've been telling you, you need to start bringing your lunch. When are you gonna listen to me?" Luckily, she took pity on me and tore her sandwich apart, offering me a half.

"Thank you," I said around a mouthful.

"You're welcome," Stella said with a little giggle. We ate in silence for a few minutes before she placed her half of the sandwich down and leaned closer to me, whispering, "Everyone's still staring at you."

"I noticed," I responded dryly. "They stare every damn day. Seriously, this town needs to get some better entertainment. Having a new girl can't possibly be that interesting."

I noticed her eyes widen slightly as her eyes cut up and over my shoulder. "I don't think that's why."

Just as I took another bite of my proffered meal, a tray dropped down onto the table right next to me, ringing loudly through the cafeteria and startling a jump from me. My head shot sideways just as Parker pulled out the chair at my side and plopped down.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he said with a devilish grin, that lip ring of his shining from the florescent lights above us.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a hushed voice as I glanced around to notice our little table had garnered even more attention.

"Eating lunch. What's it look like? Hey, Stella, how's it going?"

"Uh..." was all she could come up with.

Parker began digging into his meal, not the slightest bit uncomfortable with everyone staring and whispering or the fact that he was ingesting something that might actually sprout and grow in his stomach.

"You don't like the enchiladas?" he asked me around a mouthful of food.

"That's what that is?!" Stella squeaked.

Parker shrugged casually as he shoveled another bite into his mouth. He seemed oblivious to the intense anxiety slowly starting to creep up in my chest, threatening to suffocate me. I needed everyone to stop staring.

"Parker," I hissed. "You can't sit here."

He paused momentarily in his chewing, looking at me with wide eyes. "You going _Mean Girls_ on me, sweetheart?"

"No," I huffed with a roll of my eyes. He grinned again and took another bite. "I just don't like all the attention." I twisted to face him head-on and spoke quietly. "Every single person in here is staring. Can you just go back to the table you usually sit at so everyone will mind their own damn business?"

"Who cares what people think?"

I grumbled angrily. "I don't care what they _think_. I just don't like them all whispering about me. It's...unnerving. Like they're just waiting to pounce or something."

He scoffed. "A little melodramatic, don't you think?"

"I don't know about that," Stella stated, twisting her little fingers together nervously. "Cassidy looks like her head's about to pop."

_Fantastic_. "Just great. Are you _trying_ to get my butt kicked, Parker?"

"Cassidy's an idiot," he mumbled between bites. "You don't need to worry about her."

"Well, that idiot's walking over here right now with her minions in tow," Stella told us. My back shot straight as the little hairs on my arms stood on end. I'd never been in a fight in my life. I felt confident enough that I could at least hold my own against _one_ girl, but add in her posse and all bets were off. I wiped my sweaty palms on the legs of my jeans as they approached. I couldn't bring myself to turn around as the sound of shuffling feet came to a stop right behind me.

"Hey, Parker," a high-pitched voice said. I could only guess it belonged to Cassidy. "Why aren't you sitting with us like you always do?" Her tone was whiny, and I struggled to suppress an eye roll.

"Didn't feel like it," Parker answered blandly, not bothering to turn around to address the group crowding our table.

"Who's your friend?" I could hear the venom laced through her words but decided that maybe, if I were to be polite, she wouldn't have a reason to target me for the rest of the year.

I spun around in my seat and got my first glance at the beautiful blonde standing there. Her icy smile didn't hold an ounce of kindness.

"Hi, I'm Freya." I extended my hand for her to shake. She stared down at it like it was carrying some sort of flesh-eating disease.

"Cassidy," she responded curtly.

It seemed pointless, but I continued trying to kill her with kindness nonetheless. "You're the captain of the Sassettes, right?" I tried hard not to choke on that god-awful name. She just stood there scowling at me, like I was something she'd scraped off the bottom of her shoe before turning back to Parker.

"Are you coming over tonight, Park?" Her fingers reached out and began running through his thick hair before he jerked away from her. "My parents are still out of town. We have the house to ourselves all night, baby."

There was no misunderstanding what she was getting at, and the bottom fell out of my stomach as I studied the glob of food on the plate in front of me. Parker turned around and glared at her with such intensity that, if it had been me on the receiving end of that look, I'd have run back to my table. "I'm not coming over tonight or any other night, Cass. We're done. You need to get that through your damn head."

Cassidy's flirty demeanor disappeared completely, replaced by what I could only guess was white-hot rage. "That hasn't stopped you from jumping in my bed every other day, has it? What? Is your new little toy already giving it up to you?" Before I had the chance to formulate a response to her insult, she spun to me and leaned in. "Wow, I have to hand it to you. You spread your legs a lot faster than anyone I know. Don't think putting out so fast will actually make him stick around."

Parker was on his feet in a heartbeat. "Watch your fucking mouth, Cassidy," he ground out between clenched teeth.

"Obviously, he's enjoying his little white-trash romp," Brynn laughed callously. "He'll come back just like he always does, Cass. Don't worry."

Parker was still staring Cassidy down as she stepped up to him and placed a hand on his arm. It was a simple gesture, but the familiarity in that touch caused a pang of jealousy to shoot through me. It was a ridiculous reaction, but I wanted to smack her hand away, like she had no business touching what was mine. But Parker Owens _wasn't_ mine. Everything she'd just said had made that abundantly clear.

To my relief, Parker pulled his arm away from Cassidy's touch and glared at her. At his rebuff, her back straightened and her chin lifted in the air. Obviously Cassidy was the kind of girl who was used to getting what she wanted and, judging by the scowl on her face, she wasn't happy with his reaction.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she demanded. " _We're_ your friends, not these losers. Or have your forgotten that?"

"I'd call you a lot of things, Cassidy, but trust me, _friend_ is not one of them. Right now, _bitch_ is at the top of the list, just in case you were wondering."

Her face reddened with anger and I was afraid her head was going to explode as she narrowed her eyes. "So, what? You're choosing _them_ over _us_?" She asked the question as if she couldn't possibly fathom him picking anyone over her and her crew of spray-tanned Barbie dolls.

"You've made the choice pretty damn easy."

"You're an asshole," she seethed.

"And you're barely tolerable when your mouth's shut. I'm tired of your shit, Cass. I'm through with you and the rest of your followers." He turned his back on her and reclaimed his seat, digging back into his meal like he hadn't just engaged in a showdown with the high school's Queen Bee.

As Cassidy and her crew walked away, each one of them shot me looks filled with so much hate that I could almost feel each gaze cut into me. If there hadn't been a target on my back before, thanks to Parker's little standoff, there was definitely one there now. Cassidy's face said it all. She blamed me for Parker's dismissal of her and the rest of his friends.

I stood from the table and picked up my bag, but before I had a chance to take a step Parker grabbed my elbow, stopping me. "Where are you going?" His voice echoed the concern that was shining through his eyes when my gaze met his.

"I have to go." I tried to pull my arm away only to have him hold tighter.

"Don't let them get to you, Freya. You can't listen to them."

With one hard jerk, I managed to disengage from his hold. The moment I was free I took a step away from him, trying my hardest to ignore the flash of pain that flitted across Parker's face. "Your girlfriend just stood here and basically called me a whore in front of the entire school. Excuse me for not wanting to stick around and bask in the humiliation."

I turned around and started for the doors when Parker called out my name. I had to close my eyes at the sound of anguish in his voice. As soon as I cleared the doors, a hand tugged at my arm and I yanked away, thinking it was Parker chasing after me. I spun around for another confrontation only to find Stella standing there with an understanding smile on her face. "I know a great little diner that serves up a pretty mean sandwich. What do you say we take the rest of our lunch break off-campus?"

I let out a sigh of relief as I smiled down at my friend. "I'd say you're a genius."

"About time you figured that out."

# Chapter Eight

### Parker

Two days. Two damn days had passed since Cassidy and her crew of evil minions had spewed their hate and bullshit at Freya. Two days had passed where Freya made every effort to avoid me. I'd tried desperately to get her attention in class, but the girl was a pro at acting like I didn't exist. It was driving me out of my mind. I wanted to wring Cassidy's neck for everything she'd said, but more than that, I wanted to kick my own ass for having let the charade with her last as long as it had. It was my own fault.

After the second day, I decided I'd had enough of her radio silence. I wanted to go to Freya the moment school let out that afternoon, but when I got home, Mom seemed to be worse off than she had been in a while. From what I could tell, she hadn't even bothered to get out of bed all day.

When I walked through the door I could hear her crying from her and my dad's bedroom and, of course, my old man was nowhere to be found. Not that him being home would have done a damn bit of good. My father couldn't be bothered to sit by and support his wife when she needed him the most. He was a selfish bastard who couldn't take the time from his extracurricular activities long enough to help his wife when she was struggling. For the past three years, it had fallen on me to be in charge of her well-being. Part of me wished the son of a bitch would just take off and leave us in peace, but the other part knew just how bad things would get if he were to finally wash his hands of us. My mother wouldn't be able to handle it. My life was stuck firmly between a rock and a hard place.

I managed to get my mom to eat a sandwich and gave her a sleeping pill, staying with her until I knew she was out for the night. Once I had no doubt she wouldn't wake up until the morning I made my way down to the beach, hoping Freya would be there and she'd actually give me the chance to explain.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

The sun was slowly falling from the sky, and just like almost every evening since moving to Sommerspoint, I sat out on the beach behind my house and watched as it began fading away, pulling darkness in its wake as it disappeared for another night. And just like all the other nights, the pressure in my chest felt just a little bit lighter as I watched the colors bleed from light to dark. It was in those moments that I could feel my mother, like she was close to me. With each sunset, I felt like I was getting a piece of myself back; pieces I had lost the day I lost her. As long as I had the sunsets, I felt like I still had her, and that brought me comfort.

I tried not to think about the scene in the cafeteria. I didn't want it to affect the serenity of the moment, but avoiding Parker the past two days had proved to be more difficult than I'd imagined.

The last of the yellows and oranges had morphed into deep blues and purples when I felt his presence behind me. It shouldn't have been possible for me to be so in-tuned to a person I hardly knew, but that was the thing with Parker; he seemed to defy all logic and explanation. I tugged the blanket around my shoulders tighter as I turned from my perch on the log to see him walking toward me. His face was a mask of determination and uncertainty. The combination shouldn't work, but for some reason the look on his face endeared me to him and any fight I might have felt quickly disappeared.

"We're supposed to be friends, aren't we?" he started as he took a seat next to me. I was so taken aback by his words that I was unable to formulate a response. I didn't know what I expected him to say, but that certainly hadn't been it.

"Uhh..."

"And friends aren't supposed to avoid each other the way you've been avoiding me. That's not very nice, now is it?" I heard the teasing lilt of his voice, but his deep eyes couldn't completely hide the seriousness of his statement.

I lifted my chin in the air as my eyelids lowered into slits, the need to defend myself at the forefront of my mind. "Yeah, well, being the target of your girlfriend's rage isn't really what I'd call fun. I just need a little time. I hate being in the spotlight and being your friend kind of puts me front and center."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Parker insisted vehemently.

"Whatever she is, I've got a target on my back just because I know you. I didn't set out for this, Parker. I didn't want this, I told you that."

"So, what, you're just giving up? You're going to let them bully you into not being friends with me?"

I hated the defeated tone of his voice. Until that very second, I hadn't realized just how much my friendship seemed to mean to Parker. I just thought it was some sort of game to him because I'd pushed him away at first. I was quickly realizing how wrong my initial assumption was.

A heavy sigh pushed past my lips as I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't know what I'm doing, Parker. My life is so messed-up right now."

We both remained silent as we stared out at the inky black water ahead of us, the moon casting bright white rays across the rippling expanse.

"I know a little something about messed up lives," Parker said softly into the night. "My life hasn't exactly been easy either, so I can understand where you're coming from."

My head turned and I studied his profile, the moon casting just enough light for me to make out the tightness of his features. "You do?"

"Yeah, but I've also realized something since I met you." He finally looked at me as he continued. "I know it sounds crazy, but since meeting you I've felt, I don't know...better, I guess. We might not know each other all that well, but I already know enough to tell me I really like you, Freya. You're a girl who loves sunsets, you hate attention to an extreme, but you still have a toughness about you. I've seen that firsthand every time you've put me in my place." A smile spread across his lips and I felt the corners of my own tipping up in response. "I know you're sad for some reason, but I've seen first-hand how your eyes have gotten just a little bit brighter each day."

There was that perceptiveness again. I couldn't understand how a boy his age was able to see so much. I could only assume that whatever he was struggling with in his own life had made him more sensitive to other people's pain. That knowledge alone began to bang at the walls I kept around myself.

"I like sitting here watching the sunsets with you. It's times like this that I don't feel the need to fill the silence with meaningless conversation. I can just sit here quietly and feel at peace...with you. I like how I feel around you," he said, causing my heart to squeeze tightly in my chest. I didn't speak the words out loud, but I liked how I felt around him, too. "I don't want to lose that because of some petty high school bullshit that won't mean much of anything in a few years' time."

I couldn't argue with that. I had no doubt that as I got older I'd look back on my last year of high school and realize it didn't mean much of anything in the big picture of life.

"You're right," I finally spoke. The moment the words passed my lips the grin on Parker's face grew into something almost blindingly beautiful. When he smiled like that, I realized just how handsome he truly was. And having that look directed at me stole the breath from my lungs.

"So, you'll give this friendship a fair shot? You won't give up?"

I laughed at his excitement as I answered. "I won't give up."

The smile quickly disappeared from his face, an acute seriousness taking its place. "Promise." It wasn't a question. I got the distinct feeling he needed our friendship even more than I did, and I was quickly discovering I wanted to give him that peace of mind.

"I promise, Parker."

* * *

In the evenings that passed over the following weeks, watching the sunset together became our thing. Every day, I'd make the short trek down to the beach and every day, Parker would join me. Sometimes he'd already be there, resting on what I was starting to think of as 'our log' as I stepped off the trail onto the rocky sand, and some days he wouldn't show until it was almost over. But no matter what, he was always there with me as the last rays of daylight kissed at the sky. I found myself growing more and more anxious for that time of the day, knowing it wasn't just because of the closeness I felt to my mother's spirit, but also because those moments were becoming special between Parker and me.

Some evenings, we'd talk and laugh together while other days, neither of us spoke. I was quickly learning the differences in Parker's moods as the days passed. He always seemed the same at school, but on occasion something would happen between the time the final bell rang and the moment we'd meet on the beach. On the days that silence remained between us, I could feel the melancholy seeping off him.

The more time I spent with him, the greater the need to open up to him became. I felt a sort of kinship with Parker that made keeping all of my sorrow locked away harder and harder. Finally, on a particularly chilly day weeks after we'd started spending our evenings together, I decided it was time. As I headed for the beach, I felt weightless in my decision to tell Parker my story even though I knew talking about my mom out loud would hurt. Maybe by me sharing my story, Parker would be able to let out whatever it was that was plaguing him. Hopefully, in time, we'd be able to help each other heal.

* * *

I inhaled a cleansing breath as I remembered what my mother had said to me that day at the beach. In that moment, with the sun only a thin sliver on the horizon, I wanted nothing more than to share a piece of her with the enigmatic boy who seemed to be developing into a constant figure in my life.

"You asked me once why I always watched the sunset," I said as I stared out into the endless sky in front of me.

I could see Parker was focusing on me out of the corner of my eye. "I remember."

"When I was little, my mom taught me that nothing in life is guaranteed. She said sunsets were a gift from God, that there was nothing as beautiful as the different colors He painted the sky with. She didn't want me to ever get so busy that I forgot to stop and appreciate that gift, because there's no promise of how many we'll have in our lifetime." As I spoke, tears ran down my cheeks. To Parker's credit, he didn't draw any attention to them.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes. Finally, Parker's deep voice broke through the silence. "How long ago did she die, Freya?" He asked so quietly I almost didn't hear.

"A little over four months ago."

"Jesus. I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

When I looked over at him, the compassion and sincerity shining through his dark eyes cracked something inside of me. If my opinion of him hadn't been changed in the past weeks we'd spent together, that very moment would have done it. There was no denying he wasn't the awful person I'd been trying to make him out to be when we first met. Parker truly was a good person.

"Thank you."

"So, is that why you moved here?"

The cherished memory of my mother faded into the background as the reasons for what brought me to Sommerspoint pushed forward. I let out a deep sigh. "My dad couldn't really handle it after Mom died. He was always a workaholic, but it got even worse. I guess he couldn't deal with being in the same house we'd all lived in together. He came home one day and sprang it on me. Told me to pack my stuff, we were moving. That was it. He'd already put the house on the market. It was done and I hadn't even known it was happening."

"Shit, Freya. That had to have been hard."

That was putting it mildly. "You have no idea. I'd already lost my mom, my best friend. It felt like he was taking away everything else. Everything and everyone I loved is back in Chicago and now it's all gone. He moved me to this little town where I don't know anybody and buried himself in his work. He's never home. I miss him, but at the same time, I'm so mad at him for what he's done. Sometimes I just feel like I'm all alone, you know?"

Reaching over, he brushed a strand of hair from my face. The gesture was so tender it brought forth another flood of tears. "You don't have to be alone. You know that, right? You've got me and Stella, no matter what. And as for your dad, just give him some time."

"I really hope you're right about that," I whispered.

Parker reached up and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "I do, too, sweetheart."

# Chapter Nine

### Freya

Several days passed since my confession to Parker. After that evening, the pain was still there, still strong, but it was nice to have a shoulder to lean on whenever I needed it. Parker had offered up that shoulder without so much as batting an eye.

I'd gotten home from the beach a while ago and gone about my evening the same as I did every other day, only that night there was something a little different. Even though I'd only left Parker a few short hours before, I was already starting to _miss_ him. It was ridiculous, but the enigmatic boy I'd tried so hard to avoid when I first arrived in Sommerspoint had somehow inundated himself into my life to the point where I wanted him there constantly. I pushed those thoughts away and went about my routine, trying not to overanalyze what was happening between the two of us. I told myself that I just needed to live in the moment.

I did my homework, made myself some dinner, and took a shower before I finally crawled into bed and picked up my e-reader. I browsed through my library, hoping something would catch my attention.

About halfway through the book, I managed to lose myself in the storyline. I was so wrapped up in the characters and their struggles that when something banged against my bedroom window, it startled a shriek out of me. I jumped from the bed, my heart falling into my stomach as I darted for the bedroom door, my beloved e-reader long forgotten. Just as I wrenched the door open, a deep, muffled voice called from behind me.

"Christ, Freya! It's me." I spun around to see Parker pressing his palms against the window. "Think you can let me in?"

My heart was beating at an unhealthy pace. Parker had just scared the ever-loving hell out of me. I didn't know if I wanted to let him in or push him off whatever he was standing on.

Finally, my sensibility kicked and I decided against causing bodily harm. "How the hell did you get up here?" I asked as I turned the lock on the window and lifted it open.

"I climbed the arbor," he huffed as he pulled himself up and through the window, landing on the floor of my bedroom with a dull thud. "You know, your dad should really take a look at that thing. It's wobbly as hell. Thought I might break my neck there for a second. Not structurally sound at all."

"That's because it's not made for people to climb on, moron!" I scolded. "And what the hell are you doing climbing through my window in the first place? How did you even know this was my room?"

Parker stood and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, dropping it on my desk before walking over to my bed and plopping down, spreading out like he owned the place. "I used my powers of deductive reasoning and decided to try the only room in the house that had a light on."

"Ever heard of a door?" I quipped sarcastically, knocking his shoe-clad feet off my nice white comforter before he got dirt all over it.

Parker looked over at me, one brow raised as he answered, "I didn't think your dad would take too kindly to me ringing the doorbell at ten o'clock at night."

But as usual, that wasn't a scenario Parker needed to worry about. "My dad's not home yet."

Parker's dark gaze took me in, holding sympathy as well as something else I couldn't quite place...understanding, maybe? "Does he leave you alone a lot?"

I lowered my head, studying the ground beneath my feet as if it was fascinating; I couldn't take the pity in his eyes. "It's fine. I'm used to it." That wasn't completely true. While I _was_ used to it, it wasn't fine. I hated coming home to the big, empty, emotionless house. I hated being alone. I hated not hearing my mother's soft laughter echoing through the halls. But most of all, I hated that my father wasn't there to wrap me in his arms when the memories became too painful and I needed him to lean on. Sometimes, Parker just wasn't enough. I needed my dad. However, I kept all of my pain to myself. Not only would trying to talk to my dad be pointless, but there was a part of me that worried about what the extra stress of having to take care of me would do to him. He wasn't coping with the loss of his wife. He walked around every day a shell of his former self. It scared me to think about how my problems might untether that fragile rope holding his sanity together. I didn't want to burden him anymore than he already was.

Parker's fingertips grazed my chin as he tilted it up so I would look at him, sending a spark through my body just from his touch. "You shouldn't have to get used to that, Freya. No one should ever have to _get used_ to being lonely."

I shook my head, breaking his hold and stepping away. Tears started to well in my eyes and the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Parker again. I couldn't stand the thought of appearing weak in his eyes. I let out a short laugh, hoping it sounded convincing, but doubting it nonetheless.

"Okay, enough with the heavy," I joked, trying to lighten the mood that seemed to be weighing down the air in my room. "Care to explain why you felt the need to scale my arbor and risk breaking and entering charges?"

He fell back on my bed and propped his hands behind his head, heaving a deep sigh. "Dramatic much? I wasn't breaking and entering. I just wanted to say 'hey' to a friend. I simply decided to take the direct access route as opposed to the front door."

"Uh-huh," I replied skeptically as my brow quirked up in amusement. "At ten at night?"

"What can I say? I was bored." He groaned as he stretched out across my bed. The movement of his arms going over his head caused his t-shirt to ride up just slightly, revealing muscles much more defined than I ever would have imagined. My tongue darted out to try and wet my lips, but my mouth had suddenly grown dry as the desert at the sight of those yummy _V_ -shaped muscles trailing down into the waistband of his jeans.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably, trying to act as though I wasn't affected as I replied sarcastically, "Well, I'm glad I could be of use."

"Ah, don't be like that, gorgeous." Parker grabbed my hand and yanked me down onto the bed next to him. "You know you like having me here."

That wasn't a lie. I really did like having him in my space, not only because he was enjoyable to look at, but also because I welcomed the company. Having someone else there made the house seem a little less quiet, feel a little bit warmer. I liked being around him. He made me smile and laugh; I felt a slight happiness in his presence I hadn't thought possible after my mom's death. We lay in bed, side by side, silently staring up at the ceiling fan as the blades moved in slow, lazy circles. I was comfortable in our silence, able to appreciate his company. I'd come to discover that I never felt the need to fill the quiet with meaningless conversation with Parker. We both seemed to be content with just _being_.

The easy silence was broken as Parker sat up on the bed and reached for the framed picture that had been sitting on my nightstand.

"Is this your mom?" he asked, peering down at the photo.

"Yeah." I took the frame from his hand, a small smile playing on my lips as I gazed down at her beautiful face. The picture was taken about a year before. Her arm was thrown over my shoulders as she looked down at me, a brilliant smile spread across her lips. My head was thrown back in carefree laughter. I couldn't remember what she had said to make me laugh so hard, but I did remember being blissfully happy when it was taken.

I used my fingernail to trace over the glass where her smile was, thinking if I concentrated hard enough, I would be able to feel her. But all that was there was the large, gaping hole I couldn't seem to fill.

"We took a trip down to Florida that summer, just the three of us," I started. "Mom and Dad met at FSU their sophomore year and to hear them tell it, they fell madly in love with each other at first sight." The memory of their goofy, love-struck faces as they told me that story brought up a laugh from deep in my chest. "Mom followed him to Chicago for his residency and they liked the city so much they decided to stay, but they made sure to take me to Florida at least once a year. That's where Mom fell in love with the sunsets. She always said there wasn't a more beautiful sunset than the ones in Florida. She insisted we take a trip every year so we could 'follow the sunset'."

"You look just like her, Freya," Parker whispered softly, his lips pressed against my shoulder as he studied the picture with me.

"I think that's why my dad's always gone." I sniffled. "Looking at me every day and seeing her is just too hard. So he stopped looking all together. It's easier for him if he's not around me."

"Oh, sweetheart." Parker's voice broke as he reached over to brush a strand of hair away from my face.

"I miss her," I whispered as tears welled in my eyes uncontrollably. "I miss her so much, Parker. She was my best friend. I feel like I'm drowning without her."

Before I was even able to register his movement, I was wrapped in his strong arms and pulled into his lap, surrounded by his heat as the tears trickled down my cheeks. "You aren't drowning, gorgeous. It just feels like that some days." His fingers slowly trailed from the top of my scalp down my head, soothing me with each tender stroke. "The pain never goes away, Freya, but it becomes manageable. One day, you'll wake up and realize you can breathe a little easier than the day before. Until then, all you can do is lean on the people closest to you...lean on me. I want you to."

I pulled my face from his chest and looked up into those deep, all-knowing eyes, wondering if that was going to be the moment he opened up. "Have you lost someone?"

His head jerked with a nod. "Yeah, I have. But we're not talking about me right now. We're talking about you." I understood his reluctance to share that part of himself. I hadn't wanted to share mine with him at first, either; it took time to build that trust. All I could do was give him space and hope he'd eventually lean on me the same way he was insisting I lean on him.

"Does it ever stop?"

His chest rose and fell against my cheek as he inhaled deeply before blowing it out in a deep sigh. "No, sweetheart. I wish I could tell you it does, but the pain never goes away."

"H-how do you f-function?" I stuttered.

"One day at a time, Freya. One day at a time. You watch those sunsets and think about everything you had with her. Appreciate every single one. I promise you, it won't always hurt this bad."

I let the tears run freely, soaking up all the comfort I could as he held on to me tightly. He was a lifeline in a raging storm. He kept me grounded when I felt like I would just float away. Eventually, the tears pulled me under, lulling me into a deep, dreamless sleep, wrapped in Parker's arms. When I woke the next morning, alone in my bed, my chest felt just a little bit lighter. I wasn't surprised he was gone, but I was thankful he'd been there for me the night before. I hadn't realized just how much I needed him until that time came.

That night, Parker had been my saving grace.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

I knew staying with Freya as long as I had was a mistake. But having her soft, warm body in my arms was just too much to resist. I lay in her bed, wrapping her tightly in my embrace and never wanting to let go. It was just too much temptation. Even though I knew I'd suffer the consequences, it was worth every single second to have her open up to me the way she did.

"Where the fuck have you been?" my father hissed as I climbed through my bedroom window shortly after the sun began to rise. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I was frozen in place, unable to meet the hostility in his gaze. I already knew what would happen if he caught me, but that hadn't meant I didn't fear him still.

"I asked you a question, boy. _Where the_ fuck _have you been_!?"

"Nowhere," I mumbled, refusing to move my eyes off the dark, hardwood floors beneath my feet.

"Nowhere? That's all you have to say to me? You've been gone all fucking night, and you're going to stand there and tell me you've been _nowhere_ , you little shit?"

My heart began beating frantically as his voice continued to rise. I knew what was coming, and no matter how many times I had to experience his rage, I still hadn't grown used to it. Just as I'd told Freya the night before, the things we experienced because of our parents weren't things we should ever have to get used to. "I was down on the beach," I lied. "I couldn't sleep and wanted to clear my head." There was no way I was going to admit I'd spent the majority of the night with Freya. The last thing I wanted was to put her on Charles Owens' radar.

"You needed to clear your head." He drew out each word slowly, like he was trying to wrap his brain around what I'd just said.

"Yeah."

"And if something had happened to your mother while you were out _clearing your_ goddamned _head_?" he shouted. "What then, huh?"

Anger boiled in my blood. I bit down on the inside of my cheek hard to try and keep the fury under control, but even as the taste of blood filled my mouth, I couldn't keep it tamped down. The words spilled from my mouth before I could stop them.

"Isn't watching out for her supposed to be _your_ job? You know, seeing as you're her _husband_ and all. But I guess you were too busy getting your dick wet last night to look after your wife!"

Before I was even able to comprehend his movement, pain sliced through my cheek, causing spots to blur over my vision. The force of his punch was strong, but I somehow managed to stay on my feet. I knew I could hurt him if I decided to fight back, but standing my ground would infuriate him even more. I straightened my back and stared my father down, fighting against the stomach-churning pain to keep steady on my feet. I could feel the warmth of blood dripping down from the cut he had opened on my cheekbone, and I refused to brush it away.

"You little piece of shit," he seethed as he stepped up to me, his hot breath spreading over my face. "How dare you disrespect me in my own home?" When I didn't respond, he continued, "You're eighteen now, Parker. If you don't straighten up, you'll be out on the fucking street. I suggest you watch yourself." I stood motionless as he reached out and wiped a smear of blood off his knuckles onto the front of my t-shirt. "Piss me off again and you're gone. I don't give a shit if your mother needs you." He left without another word, slamming my bedroom door shut behind him.

I waited a few more seconds just to make sure he wasn't coming back before reaching up and placing my hand on my throbbing cheek. It took everything in me not to crumble to my knees. Instead of breaking like I so desperately wanted to do, I used my hatred for my father to keep myself solid.

I. Would. Not. Break.

# Chapter Ten

### Freya

I'd woken Monday morning feeling more alive than I had in what seemed like forever. I slept harder and more peacefully that weekend than I had since Mom passed. When I opened my eyes, the early morning sunlight was filtering in through the open curtains of my bedroom window; the same window Parker had crawled through Friday night. A smile spread across my face as I stretched my limbs. I hadn't seen him at all the rest of the weekend, but I knew he'd be at school, and I was anxious to get there.

I climbed out of the bed and went about my morning, feeling good about the day ahead of me.

"Good morning, honey." I stumbled to a stop in the kitchen at the sound of my father's voice. To say I was surprised to see him there would have been an understatement.

"Dad? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

He lowered his head and stared into his coffee cup like there was something fascinating about its contents.

"I was..." He stopped to clear his throat awkwardly. "I was thinking we could have breakfast together before you left for school."

"Really?" My voice was high-pitched as the shock set in.

I stood there, frozen in place as my father sucked in a deep breath before doing something he hadn't done in months. He turned and looked at me...right into my eyes, and I felt another tiny piece of myself fall back into place with that one simple act.

"I've been a lousy father, Freya..." I opened my mouth to try and argue, to tell him I understood, but his hand came up to stop me. "I know I have, and there's no excuse for how I've been acting. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. But I want to try and fix that, sweetie. That is, if you'll let me."

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. The emotions running through me as my father finally _looked_ at me were overwhelming. "Yeah, Daddy. I want that. I've missed you."

He was off his barstool and wrapping me in a tight embrace before I could take a solid breath. Without hesitation, my arms went around his strong waist as I allowed myself to soak up the comfort he was offering me. It was a comfort I feared I was never going to get back. I squeezed him tightly, never wanting to let go. The familiarity of being in my father's arms was a balm I'd needed desperately for so long.

"I've missed you, too, baby girl," he choked out. At the sound of the tears in his voice, my own finally broke free. "I'm so sorry, Freya. I can't promise I won't screw up again, but I swear to God, I'll try my very best. You have my word, honey."

Taking a deep breath, I pulled in my father's familiar scent and let it surround me like a blanket before finally leaning back and smiling up at him. "Better late than never. We'll figure it out as we go."

His hands came up to form around my cheeks as his gaze darted back and forth between my eyes. "How'd you get so smart?"

"Good genes, I guess."

"Oh, honey. That was all your mom. I can't take credit for that. You two always did run circles around me."

As I looked up into my father's smiling face, I began to think that maybe things were finally starting to get better.

* * *

By the time I got to school later that morning, excitement coursed through my veins at the thought of seeing Parker again. I needed a chance to tell him just how much I appreciated him being there for me a few nights before. And I couldn't wait to tell him about the breakthrough I had with my father. Things weren't completely fixed with that one conversation, but it was a starting point and I wanted to share that with Parker.

"Morning, sunshine!" Stella exclaimed loudly as I walked up to my locker and began the process of turning the dial and beating on the door to get it to open.

"God, you really are a sickeningly sweet morning person, aren't you? I'm not sure if we'll be able to stay friends."

"Whatever. You know you love me," she joked.

We turned to head toward our English class when I noticed Parker walking down the hall in our direction. His head was down, a black hoodie pulled up masking part of his face, but I could still tell it was him. It was the way he walked that made him recognizable, even as he tried to remain discreet.

I smiled as he got closer, a sense of elation at seeing him rushing through me. "Hey." I reached out to touch him. The moment my hand came in contact with his, he flinched like he hadn't heard me calling him. His head shot up as he pulled earbuds from his ears, screeching metal music raging through them so loud I was able to hear it from where I was standing. But that wasn't what held my concern.

"Oh, my God, are you okay?" I gasped as I noticed the angry blue and black bruise spread across his left cheek. The swollen, puffy skin on his cheekbone had been ripped open and was currently being held closed with two flimsy butterfly bandages. It looked horribly painful. "What happened?" I asked as I reached up to touch his injured cheek.

He jerked away from my touch, grumbling, "Nothing." He wouldn't meet my gaze as he tried to walk past Stella and me.

I reached for the sleeve of his hoodie and held on, refusing to let go until he talked to me. By the massive bruise on his face and his somber demeanor, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something major had happened from the time he left my house to now. I felt an insane need to help him with whatever he was going through just then. He'd been there for me a few nights ago and I wanted to return to favor. But I needed him to talk to me first.

"Stella, we'll meet you in class." Thankfully, she seemed to get the silent message I was trying to get across and began backing away. I needed a few minutes alone with Parker, and I had a feeling he wouldn't open up to me if there were other people around.

"Yeah, I'll see you in there." She turned and hurried down the hall. The first warning bell rang and the sea of students around us began pushing and shoving to get to their destinations.

When I finally turned back to Parker, his eyes were still on the ground as he shifted from foot to foot. If I had to guess, standing in the emptying hallway was the last place he wanted to be. "What's going on, Parker?" I asked softly.

"I told you it's nothing," he glowered. "Drop it, Freya."

He tried to step around me but I shifted in front of him, blocking his way. "Hey." I stopped him with a finger to his chest. "I don't know what's going on, but it's obvious whatever it is isn't good. I'm your friend, Parker. Talk to me, please."

"Jesus Christ!" he snapped. "Why do chicks try to make something out of nothing?" He ran his hands through his mop of hair frantically, knocking the hood from his head in the process. "I don't need your shit right now, Freya. I fell off the goddamned arbor climbing out your window, that's it. Let it go, or we'll be late for class."

I wasn't surprised to hear Parker curse, but I was taken aback by just how much anger was in his words and the fact that they were directed at me.

"Bullshit," I spat, standing toe to toe with him. If he wanted to use me as his verbal punching bag because he was going through something heavy, then he'd have a fight on his hands. I wasn't backing down. "You're lying. You don't want to tell me what really happened, that's fine. But don't take your shit out on me. We're friends, Parker, and that means we _help_ each other. You were there for me when I needed it. Please, let me do the same thing for you."

He stepped close, his voice coming out low between his clenched teeth. "I don't _need_ your help."

I narrowed my eyes at his blunt, abrasive tone, not allowing myself to be intimidated by him. "You're full of shit, Parker. Let me know when you decide to stop lying to me." I spun on my heels and stomped down the hall toward class, ignoring the feel of his eyes on me as he trailed behind. I spent the entire period so focused on ignoring the pull of the boy behind me that I hardly paid attention to anything Mrs. Wilkins had said. I briefly caught a piece when she mentioned our papers on _The Crucible_ were due at the end of the week. In all the time we'd spent together, that damn project hadn't even crossed my mind. I wondered if Parker had bothered to write it like he'd promised or if I was going to have to buckle down and do it all myself.

For weeks, Parker had shown me a side of himself I felt was just for me. I thought he'd proven me wrong in my initial judgment of him, but seeing him revert back to how he was those first few days created a nagging disappointment in the center of my chest.

* * *

As the morning progressed into afternoon, my concern grew heavier. Despite the length of time I'd actually known Parker, it _felt_ like I knew him well, better than most people probably did. I got the feeling that he didn't show the parts of himself he'd shown me to others. When we talked about my mother, it was as if there was a kinship there, like we clicked on a level other people might not understand. Finding out he'd suffered a loss as well had built a bond between the two of us, or at least it had felt that way before his blow-up earlier that morning. He sat sullenly through Biology, not once lifting his head in acknowledgment whenever Seth leaned in to talk to him. He kept his head down and his shoulders slumped. My eyes stayed trained to his defeated posture for the whole hour and a half that our teacher prattled on about something or another, my heart aching at the sight of him looking so defeated.

After much thought, I'd finally decided to confront him—in a much calmer manner—at lunch. I sat at the table with Stella just pushing the food around on my tray, my appetite nonexistent. I kept an eagle eye on the cafeteria doors waiting for him to walk through, but each time they opened to show someone other than Parker that worry in the pit of my stomach grew even larger.

"I heard he left early," Stella said, cutting into my internal debate over what could be plaguing Parker.

I turned my eyes to my friend, shaking myself out of my daze to see her looking at me with pity in her shiny green eyes. "What?"

"Parker. You're watching the door like a hawk. Every time someone other than him walks through, you sigh."

I hadn't realized I'd been so obvious. "Something's not right," I told her, looking down at the glob of unrecognizable food on my plate. "We got in a fight this morning and he...I don't know...with that bruise and how he was acting...I'm just worried."

"You like him." It wasn't a question; she spoke with absolute certainty.

"What? No! No, I don't like him. He's just a friend," I insisted adamantly.

Her brow furrowed as she studied my reddening cheeks. "You do. You like him. There's nothing wrong with that, Freya. He's not a bad guy."

"Stella, I don't like him. I'm just concerned...as a friend," I tacked on to the end. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, me or her. I knew nothing about Parker Owens, but somehow he'd managed to work his way past my defenses. I felt more normal with him than I did around anyone else. It was as if I were healing bit by bit whenever I was in his presence, as if I were getting some of myself back.

"If you say so." She shrugged casually and bit into her sandwich, keeping a knowing gaze on me as she chewed. "You know, that's not the first time he's shown up to school with bruises," she said after she swallowed and sat her sandwich back down on her plate, her face a mask of sympathy.

The tiny hairs on my arms stood on end as I straightened in my seat. "What?"

"Every few months, Parker shows up at school sporting a black eye or a busted lip, something like that. People talk, you know? But he always has an excuse. No one really knows what actually happened."

"Oh, God," I breathed with a hand to my chest, my mind automatically running rampant with a dozen different scenarios, each one worse than the last.

"I've never seen him act the way he does with you around any other girl, not even Cassidy, and they dated for, like, two years. Maybe you should try talking to him."

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "I tried, Stella. That's what we fought about this morning. He didn't want to talk about it and turned into an asshole."

Her expression grew thoughtful before she spoke again. "And I'm guessing you got angry back at him?"

I glared at her for a few seconds before finally relenting under her steady gaze. "All right, yeah. I might have gotten a little angry. But he was being a jerk!" I defended.

"Well, maybe you should try talking to him _without_ getting defensive. Just a suggestion." She grinned at me and bit into her lunch again. I could have done without her smug insightfulness right at that moment. "I'm just saying, I think if you can both manage to keep your tempers in check, he might actually open up to you. You seem to get him to react differently than he does with everyone else."

"I don't know about that," I grumbled. "He seemed to react to me like he would anyone else."

"He probably felt cornered."

"So, what do you suggest?"

"Finesse, my dear." She giggled. "Try using finesse."

"Finesse," I repeated as though I didn't understand what she was saying.

"Yeah. Basically I'm telling you not to be a bitch. Don't go in guns a blazin'. You'll attract more bees with honey than vinegar and all that jazz."

"Any other metaphors you want to throw at me?" I deadpanned.

"Nah, I'm good for now. But I'll text you if I come up with anything else."

I spent the remainder of the day playing out what I'd say when I saw Parker next, trying to take Stella's advice to heart. Parker and I had butted heads quite a bit when we first met. I knew it would be difficult to keep my attitude in check when it came to him, but I also knew I had to at least try. There was just something about him that made my emotions more intense than normal. I responded to him in a way I never had with anyone else. Be it anger or attraction, what I felt around Parker was ten times stronger than it should have been.

I couldn't get what Stella had told me out of my mind. He'd come to school with bruises before? A part of me was scared at what I might uncover if I dug deeper, but I couldn't let it go. I _needed_ to help him, even if that was just by being a shoulder for him to lean on. When the final bell rang for the day, I headed straight for home, walking at a much faster pace. I knew what I needed to do. I was going to get Parker to let me in whether he liked it or not.

# Chapter Eleven

### Freya

Nerves fluttered around in my belly like a million hummingbirds had just taken flight. I'd dumped my messenger bag right inside the door as soon as I'd gotten home, not bothering to step completely inside before I locked up behind myself and headed in the direction I watched Parker take almost every night once we finished watching the sunset. I'd never walked through the wooded area between our houses, but I reasoned it couldn't be that difficult to get to the Owens' house; it _was_ right next door, after all. I made my way through the dense trees, following along what appeared to be a small path, hoping it would lead me in the right direction. A few minutes later, the trees cleared and a house, not too much unlike my own, came into view.

My stomach turned over as I walked up the porch steps, my heart lodged in my throat. As I reached up to knock, I noticed my hand shaking. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous; I could only guess I was afraid of how Parker would react to seeing me at his front door. I wanted him to know I was there for him, but I was worried he'd lash out again when I tried to talk. As usual, my emotional reaction to anything having to do with Parker was extreme. I was just there as a friend, for crying out loud, so why was I so worried?

I knocked on the wooden door and waited...and waited some more. Just as I lifted my hand to knock again, I heard the sound of the deadbolt turning. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing an older woman with Parker's same brown hair and dark eyes. But where Parker's eyes always held so much emotion, the woman's before me were blank, glazed over. It wasn't her eyes that were the most bothersome thing about her, though; it was the fact that she'd answered the door wearing nothing but a thin slip. The ivory silk was rumpled and stained in multiple places. I tried to avert my gaze back to her face, uncomfortable with her lack of clothing, when I noticed her brown hair was matted and tangled, like it hadn't been washed or brushed in days.

"Uh, hi..." I stammered, trying desperately not to stare at the mess of a woman in front of me. "Um, is Parker home?"

Her head cocked to the side as she regarded me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"I-I'm a friend of his...from school," I continued lamely. "I live next door."

"Oh!" she shouted excitedly, startling a jump from me as she clapped her hands. She went from showing nothing to being boisterous in the blink of an eye, like a switch had been flipped. "Come in, come in!" She grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me through the door, slamming it shut behind us.

I lost my footing as she practically dragged me into the living room, almost stumbling to the ground before righting myself. She flopped down on the couch and pulled me with her, never once releasing my hand.

"So, you're friends with Parker?" she asked, it was then I noticed her words were coming out slightly slurred. Was it possible she was drunk...? At four o'clock in the afternoon?

"Yes, ma'am. I just moved here not too long ago. I met Parker my first day here."

"Oh, that's so sweet," she garbled. "You're such a pretty girl."

"Um, thank you," I responded uncomfortably, not quite understanding what was wrong with Mrs. Owens but knowing she wasn't in her right mind at that moment.

"Oh!" she shouted. "How rude of me, where are my manners? Are you thirsty, sweetie? Can I get you something to drink?"

Parker's mother bounced from one thing to another so quickly I felt like my head was spinning. I'd just wanted a chance to talk to Parker in private, but I felt like I'd just stepped into a twilight zone.

"Oh, no, thank you. I'm fine, Mrs. Owens. Is Parker home?"

Her bleary brown eyes pointed up toward the ceiling as if she had to think hard for the answer to my simple question. "No. No, I don't believe he's home. He's at school. He had school today. My boy's so smart. Did you know that? He's so, so smart."

I tried to smile in an attempt to placate the erratic woman when all I really wanted to do was get the hell out of there. "Yes, ma'am. He's very smart. You've done a good job with him."

"Yes," she whispered, sounding almost broken. "He's a good boy." Something akin to sorrow flashed over her features, only to disappear so quickly I'd almost missed it.

"Mrs. Owens, are you okay?" I asked cautiously, unsure of how she would act next.

"Food!" she shouted, startling a jump from me as she bolted up from the couch. "Let me make you something to eat."

"Mrs. Owens," I started quickly, "I'm fine, really. I'm not hungry. You don't need to go to any trouble."

"Oh, you pretty girl." She smiled. Her pupils were a little more dilated than normal as her gaze bounced across my face. "You're a special friend of my Parker's. What kind of mom would I be if I didn't take care of you?"

With every passing moment, I grew more and more uncomfortable with my surroundings. Mrs. Owens' erratic behavior had me wishing I'd just gone into the comforts of my own home when school got out. I felt like I should have been doing something to help the unstable woman before me, I just had no clue as to how.

"Oh, please don't," I called out as Mrs. Owens headed into the kitchen. "You don't need to trouble yourself. Really, I think I'm just going to head home anyway."

"No! No, no, no. Don't do that. I'm sure Parker will be home any minute." I listened as cabinet doors opened and slammed closed. The clanking of dishes echoed through the kitchen into the living room. "I'll make you my special lasagna. Parker always loved my lasagna. It's his favorite, did he tell you that?"

I opened my mouth to protest when the sound of glass shattering and a cry of pain had me running into the kitchen. Parker's mother was on her knees on the tiled floor, hunched over and cradling her right arm tightly to her chest. The sight of blood staining the front of her slip and dripping to the floor caused my heart to drop into my stomach. I vaguely recalled the crunch of broken glass beneath my feet as I rushed to her.

"Oh, God. Are you all right?" Kneeling down before the fragile woman, I pulled her arm away from her body to inspect the wound. The cut along her forearm was deep, dark red blood oozing from the open flesh at an alarming speed. Scanning the kitchen counters, I spotted a dishcloth by the sink and lunged for it, wrapping it tightly around her arm.

"I-I dropped the dish," she stuttered as tears poured from her glassy eyes. "Please don't tell Parker. He'll be so upset. So upset. You can't tell him."

"I think you need to go to the hospital. This probably needs stitches."

"You can't tell him. You can't tell him," she said over and over. Her eyes were no longer on me as she repeated the same sentence. It was as though she were mumbling to herself.

I pulled the towel away from her arm with shaky hands to see that the bleeding had thankfully slowed. "Here, hold this tightly," I instructed, pressing the towel back to her arm. "I'm going to call for help." My nerves were going haywire as I tried to think of who I could possibly call. I didn't have Parker's cell phone number, my father wasn't home, and I didn't know if a cut to the arm warranted a call to 911. But I didn't feel like there was any other option. I had no idea what to do in situations like the one I was currently experiencing.

Just as I reached into my pocket to retrieve my phone, the front door opened. "Mom, I'm home."

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

My skin broke out in goose bumps as the sound of crying carried from the kitchen. My eyes darted down to the table just inside the entryway. The mail was scattered across the top of it and sitting right there, clear as day, was the reason why I always made sure to rush home before my mom had a chance to check the mail.

_Oh, God, no no no_.

A brochure for the indoor swim camp Toby had been enrolled in stared back at me in all of its bright, glossy glory. After that awful day years ago, I always tried my damnedest to beat the mail carrier home. Even though he'd been gone for years, we still constantly got junk mail from all the organizations Toby had been a part of growing up. It was my job to make sure it was all thrown out before Mom ever got the chance to see it, but after my run-in with Freya that morning, I left school and spent the rest of the day driving around aimlessly, needing to get my head on straight.

I screwed up.

As I ran to the kitchen, my father's voice pounded in my head like a drum. _This is all your fault. This is all your fault._ I could only pray I hadn't made it home too late.

When I skidded to a halt outside my kitchen doorway, the sight before me caused my blood to freeze in my veins. My heart felt like it stopped beating for several grueling seconds.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in shock before the fear drowned out all reason. "What the fuck happened?" I shouted. Blood covered my mother's arm and the front of her nightgown, pooling on the floor around her. Nausea twisted my stomach into knots at the sight of it and I was transported back in time to that god-awful day years ago. _This can't be happening again_ , I thought. _Please, God, don't let it be happening again._

"I came to see you," Freya spoke hurriedly. "She insisted on cooking. I tried to stop her but she broke a dish and cut her arm."

It wasn't what I had feared. It was just an accident. The relief that took hold of me only lasted for a split second before humiliation hammered into me like a battering ram. Freya was standing in my kitchen with my bleeding mother curled up at her feet. That humiliation quickly twisted itself into an emotion I had grown so used to over the years, the only defense mechanism I had...anger. It ran through my blood like fire as I pushed past the wide-eyed, frightened girl before me to tend to my mother.

"Christ, Mom. What were you thinking?" I seethed as I inspected the wound.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she cried as she leaned into me, letting me take all of her weight.

"It's okay," I whispered, trying my best to soothe the broken woman in my arms. For three years, our roles had been reversed. I was the caretaker. I was the one responsible for making sure my mother never lapsed into the darkness that had once threatened to take her away from me. It was days like this when it felt like it was all too much. But I was helpless against it. I couldn't leave her to suffer. "It's okay," I repeated, patting her matted-down hair. "Let's get you cleaned up."

I was too focused to notice Freya scurrying to her feet as I stood, helping my frail mother up from the floor. It wasn't until she spoke that I remembered she was even there. She'd seen my life at one of its lowest points. I never wanted her to know the truth. I couldn't stand the thought of her looking at me differently. "Parker, I think she needs stitches."

My head shot around, my eyes narrowing into furious slits. "Is that your professional opinion?" I spat out sarcastically. I knew I was directing all of my pain and anger at the wrong person, but I couldn't control it. It was in moments like this when I felt the most lost. I didn't know how to handle that feeling.

"No. I-I—"

I led Mom past her and out of the kitchen as I spoke over my shoulder. "Go home, Freya." As we walked slowly up the stairs, I closed my eyes and prayed she'd actually listen. I was hanging from a fraying rope, fearing it was about to snap. I was going to lose it, and the last person I wanted to see me like that was her.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

All I could do was stand there as they disappeared from my sight. What just happened? I thought as I sucked in a shaky breath. I took in the mess of glass and blood on the floor around me, thinking that I couldn't leave it for Parker to clean up. On autopilot, I searched in cabinets for cleaning supplies. I found a broom and swept up all the glass. Under the sink, there was a bottle of antibacterial spray. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and began mopping up the blood on the floor. By the time I finished, Parker and his mother were still somewhere upstairs. Once the kitchen no longer held any signs of the earlier events, I started for the door, prepared to leave just as Parker had demanded. Several framed photos hung on the wall along the staircase as I made my way toward the front door, but there was one in particular that caught my eye, giving me pause.

I stepped closer to get a better look. The simple black frame held a picture of a younger, smiling Parker. He couldn't have been any older than fifteen in the photo, but it was who he was with that had caught my attention. His arm was slung around a little boy who barely came up to Parker's shoulders. They both had the exact same smile spread across their faces. The little boy looked to be about ten. He and Parker were standing on a beach with their backs to the water, their dark brown hair blown back from their faces by the wind. Reaching up, I pulled the frame from the wall so I could get a better look. Same hair, same smile, same deep, penetrating gaze. Was that Parker's little brother? I didn't even know he had a sibling. He never talked about a brother, so I'd just assumed he was an only child.

I was startled from my musings by Parker's deep voice. "I told you to leave. What the fuck are you still doing here?"

I jerked around to see him standing there, arms crossed over his chest. His demeanor was anything but friendly. "I-I..." I stuttered, at a loss for how to deal with his volatile mood. "How's your mom? Is she going to be okay?" I asked, clutching the frame tightly to my chest.

His gaze moved to the photo in my hands before darting back up to my face. His lids lowered into a glare as he snatched the frame from me and sneered, "I see you took the opportunity to snoop around."

"What? No! Parker, I wasn't snooping, I swear. I just...I cleaned the kitchen and was leaving when I...I saw the picture. I just wanted to make sure you and your mom were okay. I wasn't trying to snoop." My words ended on a whisper as I focused on the ground, unable to look at his bitter expression any longer.

"Well, we're fine. You can go now."

"Parker," I stated exasperatedly. "She needs to go to the hospital. That cut probably needs stitches—"

"You think this is the first time I've had to take care of her like this? I know how to handle my mom, Freya, and I don't need or _want_ your fucking help! I want you to get the hell out of my house and mind your own damn business!"

I cringed, taking a step away from him and the hateful words he was spewing at me. "What happened to you?" I breathed. I wasn't talking about the ordeal with his mother just minutes before. I knew there was more to him than he'd led me to believe. He was holding something back from me, something dark he seemed to be drowning in at that very moment.

"What happened to me is that a pain-in-the-ass little girl moved in next door and can't stay out of shit that has nothing to do with her. I didn't ask you to come here. I don't want you here. Get a clue, Freya."

"I just want to help. You can talk to me, Parker," I insisted as I took a step closer, trying to give him some sort of comfort, but the harsh laughter that rumbled from his chest made me stop.

"You think you can help me? What a fucking joke!" he shouted, still laughing harshly. "I don't want your help. All I want is for you to get out of my goddamned house and stay out of my business. You think just because we've been friends for five minutes that I'm gonna open up and pour my heart out to you?" He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief before crossing his arms over his chest and looking down his nose at me. "Newsflash: you're nothing special, Freya. You aren't going to magically cure me if that's what you've got bouncing around in your pathetic head. You're already fucked-up as it is, so what makes you think you can help anyone else?"

The breath whooshed from my lungs, leaving an intense ache in my chest. I knew he was just lashing out. I understood where the anger and pain were coming from, but that didn't make the words hurt any less. The wound they created was deep, and at that very moment I couldn't see anything past the pain Parker had intentionally caused in order to push me away. I was only able to rationalize how badly I needed out of that house.

My back straightened and my chin lifted slightly as I responded. "I got it, Parker. No worries. This _fucked-up little girl_ won't be bothering you anymore."

I shoved past him and stormed out the door, never breaking stride as I hurried through the trees back to the security of my own home. I tried telling myself that Parker Owens could take his words and choke on them, that he didn't have the power to hurt me, that the tears on my cheeks had nothing to do with him. But if that were the truth, then why did my heart feel like it had just been torn in half inside my chest?

* * *

The day after the scene with Parker's mom I moved around the house like a zombie as I prepared to step into the unknown. I honestly had no idea what to expect from Parker if or when I saw him. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was going to have to grovel in the hopes of Mrs. Wilkins allowing an extension on the _Crucible_ project Parker and I were supposed to work on together, I would have faked a migraine or something in order to stay home. As I walked through the hallways of the school, I moved at a snail's pace, so uncomfortable with informing Mrs. Wilkins that I'd already managed to break one of her three rules only a month into the school year. I bypassed my locker, not once bothering to look up to see if Stella was waiting for me before heading toward my English class. As I stepped through the doorway, I saw Mrs. Wilkins sitting at her desk in all her 80s fashion regalia. I wasn't fooled by the neon colors or shoulder pads. Even though she dressed ridiculously, she was hardcore when it came to teaching. I had no doubt she would make me suffer the consequences of having broken one of her three simple rules.

"Uh... Mrs. Wilkins?"

The older woman turned from her work to face me, peering over the top of her wire-framed glasses. "Yes, Miss Linden?"

"I...um, well, I need to talk to you about _The_ _Crucible_ project."

"What about it?" she asked, lifting one of her heavily lined eyebrows.

"I...well...it didn't..." I stuttered uncomfortably. The look on Mrs. Wilkins' face spoke loud and clear: she was quickly growing annoyed with my rambling. There was no way I was getting an extension. I was going to fail.

"It what, Miss Linden?"

"It—"

"It's right here." I spun around just as Parker walked up to the desk and dropped a blue folder on the top. "Four pages, single-spaced and spell-checked. And it's a piece of literary genius, if I do say so myself. A-plus quality work right there, Mrs. Wilkins. You'll be so happy you'll want to kiss me."

Mrs. Wilkins rolled her eyes and let out a huff as I stood by in shell-shocked speechlessness. "You know that line you have a tendency to toe on a daily basis, Mr. Owens?"

"Yep, I'm familiar," he answered casually, rocking back on his heels as he displayed that devilish smile, drawing my attention to his full bottom lip adorned with that silver ring. I tried my best not to be mesmerized by the sight of him pulling it between his teeth before he flicked his tongue against the metal of his piercing.

"Well, you just sprinted past it and went another hundred yards," Mrs. Wilkins replied. "Do you think you could rein in your inappropriate behavior for just one class?"

Parker let out a dejected sigh and answered, "If I must," before shooting her a wink.

"You must," Mrs. Wilkins deadpanned. "Now please, go take your seats."

Not having to be told twice, I turned quickly and headed for my desk, mindful of Parker's eyes on me the entire time. I refused to look at him. Even though I was thankful he'd completed the assignment, saving me from the embarrassment of a failing grade so early in the school year, his words from that day in his house were still fresh in my mind, causing a sharp pain to bloom in my chest.

How did he do it? How could he bounce between emotions with so much ease? One moment he was spitting out hurtful words so jagged I could feel each one slice through me, and the next he was acting as though the painful scene had never happened. Being around him was like being stuck on a broken merry-go-round spinning round and round, completely out of control, making my head spin. He'd all but begged for my friendship, but the moment I got a peek behind that perfectly kept mask he had in place, he destroyed it. I'd already experienced too much pain in my life. I wouldn't allow Parker Owens to cause any more.

As I took my seat, my eyes remained downcast, boring into the scratched surface of my desktop as he walked by. I felt a slight brush of wind as he passed but I refused to acknowledge how the scent of his cologne enveloped me and made my mind fuzzy. No, Parker Owens would _not_ affect me. Maybe if I repeated that mantra enough times I could will it to be true.

"Morning, gorgeous," he whispered as he took his seat right behind me. I had to clench my eyes shut against the onslaught of emotion just those two words evoked within me. When he realized I planned on facing forward and remaining silent, he continued. "Please talk to me, Freya. I'm sorry about yesterday."

Before I had to think of formulating a response, my saving grace came flitting into the classroom, a mass of fiery curls bouncing up and down around her. I let out a relieved sigh as Stella took her seat. I turned to her with a bright smile that she matched instantly. Little did she know, my happiness stemmed more from having her as a buffer between Parker and me than it did anything else.

"Morning, sunshine," she chirped happily.

"Morning, Spritely Stella," I answered in return.

I felt Parker's breath on my neck as he leaned in even closer. "So, you'll talk to her but not me?"

Trying my hardest to suppress the shiver that shot down my spine at his closeness, I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply, holding it for a few seconds before finally releasing my breath. Stella's curious gaze shifted back and forth between the two of us. "Am I missing something here?"

"Nope, not missing anything at all," I spouted before Parker had a chance to open his mouth and state otherwise.

Turning back toward the front of the room, I did my best to tune out the conversations around me and ignore the questioning stares coming from Stella's direction.

It was going to be a long day.

# Chapter Twelve

### Freya

Biology turned out to be a million times more awkward than I thought it could have been. I'd breathed a sigh of relief when I walked into the room later that morning and saw Parker had yet to arrive. I'd quickly scurried back to my table and sat down next to Michael before Parker's dumbass tablemate Seth had the chance to block my path.

"Hey, Freya."

I looked over and smiled at the attractive blond boy sitting next to me. I couldn't help but think of how cute he and Stella would look together. "Hey, Michael. How are you?"

"I'm good. Listen, I know we don't know each other all that well, but I was kind of hoping I could ask you for a favor."

That piqued my curiosity. "Sure, but I maintain the right to say no," I teased. "What do you need?"

"Uh..." he looked down at his hands as he twisted his fingers together nervously. His cheeks had a pink hue to them as he turned back to me. "Do you..." He cleared his throat self-consciously. "Do you think you could, you know...maybe you could talk to Stella for me?"

A giddy smile spread across my lips and I couldn't help but antagonize. "And what exactly do you want me to say?"

"Well...uh..." he stuttered adorably.

Seeing the pink on his cheeks turn to a bright red, I decided to take pity on him. "You like her, huh?"

"I-I..." He blew out a deep breath. "Yeah, I really like her." He grinned. His shy smile was absolutely adorable. As I studied him, I decided he and Stella were adorably perfect for each other. I could picture them walking down the hall, hand in hand, smothering the area around them with adorableness. "Are you gonna help me out or keep making me sweat?"

I found myself laughing at Michael lightheartedly calling me out. "You know what? I think you might actually be good for her. How about this, instead of attempting to play messenger for the two of you, why don't you just sit with us at lunch today?"

His lips quirked up, showing off the straight, white smile. He reached his hand out for me to shake. "I'll take you up on that, Freya. Thanks."

"No problem, Michael. You're a pretty decent guy."

He barked out a laugh. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Try not to sound so shocked about it."

I felt my guard lowering as Michael and I joked around. Surprisingly enough, as we talked, I found myself thinking he might just turn into a pretty good friend. That thought lessened some of the tension that had been sitting on my chest since the day before. Unfortunately, it didn't last.

"Am I interrupting?" My head shot up to find Parker scowling down at Michael and me.

"Uh, hey, Parker," Michael spoke uncomfortably. "What's up?"

"You mind switching seats with me?"

"What? No!" I interrupted before Michael could answer. Parker ignored my protest and kept his focus on Michael.

"I don't know," Michael responded slowly, looking down the aisle at where Seth was staring back at us. "I don't really get along with your buddy over there."

"He's not my buddy," Parker answered.

"Since when?" I scoffed. "Isn't Seth just another one of your little lackeys?"

Once again, Parker ignored me. He placed his clenched fists on the tabletop and leaned over Michael intimidatingly. "Come on, man. Do me a favor and switch me seats. I'll owe you."

"Michael, if you switch seats, I'll kick your ass," I threatened.

"If you don't, _I'll_ kick your ass," Parker countered.

Michael's eyes bounced between us before he finally looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, Freya. But I'm pretty sure his ass-kicking would hurt more."

"Traitor," I hissed as Michael grabbed his stuff. "See if I help you now, you jerk!" I whisper-yelled as he hurried for the table at the front of the room.

Parker took the seat Michael had just vacated, scooting it closer to me than necessary. "Freya, talk to me. Please," he begged. When I looked into the endless pools of his deep, dark eyes, I could see the sorrow shining in them. I felt myself weakening. That was, until he spoke his next words. "You shouldn't have ever come to my house.

I was quickly reminder of how cold he could actually be. That was all I needed to steel my resolve toward him. "Lesson learned, Parker. You don't need to worry. We aren't friends, so I have no reason to ever come over to your house again."

A flash of pain flitted across his features just as I turned away from him, trying my best to ignore it. I kept telling myself that if I allowed myself to feel sorry for him, I was only giving him the power to hurt me again. I'd already experienced enough pain in the last few months. I knew I couldn't handle any more.

"Don't say that," he insisted with a pained voice. "You don't mean it."

When I turned my gaze back to him, I made sure I spoke with clear certainty. "I really do, Parker. You bounce back and forth from one extreme to another. I can't keep up with your mood swings, and honestly, I don't think I want to. You make my head hurt. I think it would be best if we just forget we even know each other."

The anguish in his expression grew to an almost-palpable level, causing my stomach to twist into knots. I hated how intensely he made me feel. Be it happiness, anger, or sadness, when it came to Parker, everything I felt was way too extreme. I was scared by just how strongly I reacted to him. It wasn't normal for someone I knew so little about to have such a substantial hold on what I was feeling.

"I don't want to forget I know you," he leaned in and practically growled in my ear.

"Well, you can't always get what you want," I responded. "Besides, I'm just the 'pain in the ass' neighbor, remember? I'm fucked-up enough as it is," I hissed, repeating his insensitive words.

"I didn't mean that!"

"Then you shouldn't have said it, Parker!" I responded, slapping my hand down on the cold metal table. The sound rang out through the room, but I was too upset to worry about the attention the noise had possibly drawn. "Friends don't say mean, hateful things like that to each other. Friends don't go from being sweet and kind to a complete asshole in the blink of an eye. Friends don't take their anger out on one another. If that's how you treat your friends, then I don't want you in my life."

Parker didn't respond. He shot up from his chair, sending it scraping across the floor and crashing into the wall behind him with a loud bang. Ignoring the surprised stares from the rest of our classmates, he grabbed his backpack and stormed from the room, leaving me reeling from our encounter. I couldn't ignore the pang of guilt that settled deep in my belly as I focused on the closed classroom door. I'd hurt him and that didn't sit well with me, even if he had been the one who struck the initial blow.

* * *

Lunchtime came with still no sign of Parker. Despite his cowardice during Biology, I invited Michael to sit with me and Stella during lunch. It didn't take long before those two were so wrapped up in their own conversation that I was completely forgotten. I'd watched on in silent amusement as Stella went from shy and quiet to bubbly and hyper within minutes. Michael started out reserved, but the more Stella opened up to his company, the wider his smile became until I worried he might actually break a cheekbone or something. My initial inclination about them was spot-on. Those two were adorable together.

I tried to mask my dejection by pasting on a fake smile as the day progressed. However, I quickly learned that _acting_ happy was utterly exhausting. By the time I walked through the front door of my house, I was physically spent. Sadness combined with faking enthusiasm I just didn't feel had burned me out completely. My cheeks hurt from all the unnatural smiles and laughs. I didn't care what people said, that thing about using more muscles in your face to frown than to smile was a crock.

As I kicked off my shoes and padded on quiet feet to the kitchen, the events of the day spun on a reel in my mind constantly. I'm better off, I told myself. Parker was too volatile. He made _me_ too volatile. If I kept him in my life I was liable to go completely insane.

I dreaded going to school that whole week. I'd spent every night tossing and turning, barely getting an hour of sleep as I played the events of Monday on repeat in my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, Parker's face filled the darkness behind my lids, glaring at me with such fierce disdain I could barely breathe past the lump forming in my throat. I didn't have it in myself to go down to the beach to watch the sunset. I didn't want to risk seeing him there. I climbed from my bed each night just long enough to stand at the window and watch as the sun bid its farewell to the day before climbing back in to the safety of my cocoon. Those sad, lonely moments made me miss my mother with such intensity that my body physically ached.

My father and I managed to eat dinner together a few nights during that week, but I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me. He could tell something was wrong. By the ticking of his jaw, I knew he wanted to ask, but thankfully, he didn't push.

Each time I saw Parker in class or the hallways, I made a concerted effort to avoid him. I'd even gone as far as to avoid the cafeteria come lunch time. For his part, Parker was strangely quiet all week: no jokes, no charming the teacher...just silent and withdrawn. It felt like weeks of friendship had disappeared in the blink of an eye.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

I paced the length of my bedroom like a caged lion. The metaphor was fitting considering I'd spent the last several days feeling like I was coming out of my skin. The only thing that kept me from running to Freya, demanding that she listen, was the knowledge that she needed time to cool off. The rational part of my brain insisted that beating her door down wouldn't do any good. However, the irrational part needed to see her with a fierce desperation so overwhelming it left me feeling as if my skin was the only thing holding me together, keeping me from breaking apart into a million miserable pieces. The look on her face and the sad tone of her voice as she told me she wanted to forget that she knew me was more painful than any blow my father could ever land. I'd left school early, my insides twisted into a mass of knots. Even if we'd only known each other for a short time, the thought of not having her in my life was unbearable.

Finally, as the sun began its slow fall from the sky Sunday evening, I couldn't make myself wait a second longer. I knew exactly where she'd be. My body had a mind of its own as my feet carried me through the damp grass to that trail I knew would lead me to her. The crunch of the leaves and the crack of the twigs beneath my feet were a faint muffle against the sound of my own heartbeat thumping rapidly in my chest.

Several times during the short trek, I had to stop in order to get my emotions under control. While I was determined to make things right with Freya, there was an underlying urge to grab hold of her and not let go. The effect that girl had on me was staggering. I couldn't think straight when it came to Freya. Everything from my emotions to my body were strung so tightly I couldn't tell which way was up. The only thing I was able to focus on was her. Everything about her drove me mad. I wanted her in a way I'd never wanted anything or anyone before. I wanted to claim her, mark her in some way, make her mine completely until she felt the same all-consuming _need_ for me that I felt for her.

I feared that my near obsession with Freya was unhealthy to say the least, but she made me feel alive for the first time is so long that I'd be damned if I was going to let that go. I'd screwed up, and I needed to make it right. For the sake of my own sanity.

My footsteps slowed as I came to the end of the trail, my breath stalling in my lungs as I took in the peaceful expression on her beautiful face. Her bright eyes shone in the fading light. Her smooth, flawless skin glowed in the faint rays of sun left in the sky. As I stood there, silently taking in the gorgeous girl in front of me, I was overcome with the desire to touch her.

When I took a step closer, the sound of a snapping twig under my foot startled a gasp from her. As she turned from her perch on the log—the very same log she sat on the day I met her—the serenity that had clouded her features just moments before faded away when those blue eyes fell on me. I hated that she looked at me with such disdain. I wanted to be the one who made her smile, not frown. From the way her full lips tipped down in displeasure, I knew it was going to take more than a simple apology to make things right. I was going to have to do something I'd never done before. I was going to have to peel off the scab that covered that years'-old wound, making the pain fresh once again. The thought of telling her the truth caused a ball of dread to form in my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, trying to summon the courage to get through what I needed to say, praying I wouldn't crack in the process. When I opened them once again, Freya was staring at me with so much uncertainty, I decided to just dive right in, hoping she'd be there to pull me out at the end of it.

"He was my little brother," I started. "The boy you saw in the picture at my house, he was my brother."

The words rushed out so quickly I missed the sound of her gasp over the blood rushing in my ears. Saying those words out loud was like a punch to the gut, pushing all the air from my lungs. My focus remained on the sandy, pebbled beach beneath me, unable to meet her blue eyes as I spoke.

The pain the memories of that day brought forth was almost enough to bring me to my knees. The sound of my little brother's laughter echoed in my head as visions of his smiling, happy face assaulted me. I hadn't realized that my eyes were squeezed shut, my breathing erratic, my hands clenched into painfully tight fists until the touch of Freya's hand on my arm pulled me back. When my gaze met hers, the understanding shining back at me was enough to help me breathe again. Sliding her hand down the length of my arm, she took hold of my hand in hers and pulled me to the log she'd just been sitting on. A sense of calm washed over me with her comforting gesture. The feel of Freya's tiny hand tucked into mine sent a spark of electricity through my body, causing me to tighten my hold on her. I could tell by the slight widening of her mesmerizing eyes that she'd felt it, too. I held her hand like it was a lifeline, fearing if I were to let go, she'd disappear.

"Parker, you don't have to tell me if it's too hard. I understand," she spoke softly.

Her compassion gave me the strength to continue.

"Toby was six years younger than me. When they told me I was going to have a little brother, at first I was pissed, you know? I was used to being the only kid. I liked not having to share my parents with anyone else. How selfish is that?"

Her fingers clenched around my hand, drawing my attention back to her face. "It's not selfish," Freya answered, rubbing her thumb against my knuckles. "It's normal. I'm sure all kids feel like that, at least at first."

"I guess," I grumbled, not fully believing what she was saying. "I was mad, but as soon as he got here... Christ, he was just so damn special." My voice broke as I worked to swallow down the tears threatening to break free.

After several long, painful seconds, she finally spoke. "If you want to tell me what happened, I'm here to listen. If not, we can just sit here and watch the sunset. Either way, I'll be here." Her words were a promise, heartfelt and sincere.

Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how much I needed that promise from her. "He drowned," I croaked, unable to stop the few tears that broke free and slid down my cheeks, cold from the chilly temperature. "Toby had always looked up to me...wanted to do everything I did. He wanted to be just like his big brother. When I joined the water polo team my freshman year, he got it in his head that he had to practice to be good enough to join when he was older. Only problem was he wasn't a very strong swimmer."

I heard her muffled _oh, God_ as I stood from the log and began to pace. "I walked home back then and I'd always swing by the elementary school each day so Toby could walk with me. Practice ran later than normal that day, and I guess he didn't want to wait around for me and headed home by himself." Images from that day bombarded me from every angle, making it difficult to stay on my feet. If I had only left school when I was supposed to. If I hadn't let my coach keep me late. If I'd told him to never walk home without me. For the past three years, my life had been a constant cycle of _if only_.

"He was so determined to be as good as I was," I continued, my brother's face, so much like my own, at the forefront of my mind. "He went down to the beach and started swimming by himself."

I could still hear the commotion of all the people on the beach. I could still see the bright lights that shone on the water as divers searched for my little brother. That night, I'd told myself they were searching to find him alive. I refused to let myself think that those divers were looking for his body. Holding on to that hope had only made the pain that much more excruciating when they finally found him hours later. After that, my family cracked, fractured completely into irreparable jagged shards, never to be whole again.

# Chapter Thirteen

### Freya

I couldn't stand the torment in his eyes any longer, not after that heart wrenching story. The hurt that blanketed his expression was just too much to bear and I couldn't think of anything but comforting him, helping him, being there for him in any way I could. All thought of how he'd hurt me vanished with his explanation. There was no room left in me to hold on to that anger.

As soon as I took a step in front of him, the shroud of sorrow lifted from his eyes and he was able to see me again. My arms went around his waist, squeezing tightly as I attempted to pour every ounce of comfort I could into that embrace. He stood stiff and motionless for several seconds before his body finally lost some of its tension and his arms circled around my back and shoulders, holding onto me like I was everything. It wasn't until then, being wrapped up in his arms that I realized just how much larger Parker was than me. Even though I was the one who was supposed to be offering comfort, I couldn't ignore just how amazing it felt to have both his body and his intoxicating scent surrounding me.

"It wasn't your fault," I whispered into his strong chest. "You know that, right?" His chest vibrated with a gruff sound of disagreement. I tightened my hold on him and repeated my words. "It wasn't your fault. You were just a kid, Parker. I'm so, so sorry that you and your family had to go through that, but it was an accident. You can't hold on to the guilt for something you couldn't control forever."

"If I had just been there," he whispered, his lips pressed onto the top of my head. "If I'd have left school when I was supposed to—"

"Stop." I pulled away from him, just far enough to place one hand over his mouth. "You can't do that to yourself. You can't hold the blame for what happened, and you certainly can't tell the future. Even if you _had_ been there that day, you have no way of knowing what would have happened a week or a month or a year from then. That isn't on you. When my..." My voice broke as I struggled with the words I needed to say. I hadn't realized I was crying until Parker reached one hand up to brush away my tears with his thumb. But the tears weren't for _my_ loss that time; they were all for Parker. "When my mom died, I told myself that if I hadn't gone to that stupid competition, she wouldn't have been on the road to pick me up that morning. She wouldn't have been hit by that drunk driver. If I had been at home that day, then she'd never have had a reason to leave the house and she'd still be with us."

"Do you still think that?" Parker asked as his gaze bore into mine, the calloused pad of his thumb slowly stroking from my cheek to my bottom lip.

"No, because I remembered something my mom taught me. 'Everything in life happens for a reason.' She taught me that no matter how much it hurts to lose someone we love, we have to remember that they were so special He needed them up there with Him. I have to believe that. Even though I still want her with me every single day, I have to believe there was a reason she was taken from me so soon. She was so important that God needed her."

Parker's brow furrowed in thought. "Does that help? Believing she's gone for a reason?"

"Some days it does." I sniffled as I brushed away the remaining tears from my cheeks. "Some days it helps, but then there are those days where just getting out of bed feels like the hardest thing I've ever had to do. On those days, there's nothing I can tell myself that'll make it hurt any less. I just have to hope that the next day is a little bit easier."

The sigh Parker let out was heavy in the air as he unhooked his arms from around me and led us back to the log to sit, my hand remaining in his the whole time. Neither of us spoke as we watched the very last rays of daylight disappear into darkness. The companionable silence between us as we watched the sunset was enough; no words were necessary.

A while later, once we finally started our journey back up the path, away from the beach, I found the courage to ask the question that had been weighing so heavily on my mind. "Is your mom okay?"

He didn't answer until we were walking slowly across my backyard. "For today," he said sadly. "Toby's death broke her. She spent weeks in bed. It got so bad that my dad practically had to drag her out of it just to get her to bathe. That was the only damn thing he did for her during that time. Now he hardly even bothers to come home." It was obvious opening up about his mother was hard for him, so I remained silent as Parker spoke, not forcing him to reveal any more than he was comfortable with.

We rounded the side of my house where he pulled me to a stop right by the front door. "I never wanted you to see her like that, Freya." From the light of the moon and stars, I could see his head turned away from me as he stared out into the inky blackness of the trees. "You're just..." He ran one of his hands through his hair anxiously as he blew out a frustrated breath, like he was having trouble coming up with the right words. "I wanted to keep that part of my life away from you as long as I could. Since I met you, you've made me feel lighter, like all the bad shit that's happened is secondary. I wanted to keep those two parts separate for as long as I could, and when I walked into my house and saw you trying to help my mom, I just...I lost it. I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean any of it. You have to believe me." Desperation laced his words and he held tighter to my hands, like he was afraid I was going to slip away at any moment.

"I believe you," I offered, hoping it would ease some of his anguish. "But I need to ask you one question."

""What?" he asked hesitantly, a scowl marring his handsome face.

"Your dad gave you the bruise, didn't he?" I reached up and ran my fingers over the fading mark on his cheek.

He didn't speak, just nodded his confirmation.

"This isn't the first time, is it?"

He shook his head against my hand before pressing his cheek further into my touch, nuzzling into my palm. "He's always been a mean bastard, but it got worse after Toby's death."

"Oh, Parker," I whispered, feeling my tears building back up.

His body grew rigid as he stepped away from my touch. "I don't want your pity, Freya." Only that time, I understood the motivation behind his cold behavior and I wasn't going to let him push me away again. If there was one thing I'd come to learn in my time around the enigmatic boy in front of me, it was that he needed me just as much as I needed him. We needed _each other_. If I believed death happened for a reason, I also had to believe there was a purpose in my meeting Parker at such a pivotal time in my life.

"I don't pity you," I told him as I grabbed hold of his arm, refusing to let him run away as I spoke adamantly. "I _hurt_ for you. No one deserves to go through what you have. And the fact that you're still standing amazes me. I could never pity you, Parker. You're too damn strong for that. But that doesn't mean my heart can't break for what you've been through. That's what happens when a person cares about someone."

His arm shot out and wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. His nose was buried in my hair as he asked, "You care about me?" against my neck.

"Of course I do," I mumbled as I hugged him back, needing the embrace just as much as he did. It had been an intensely emotional evening for the both of us. When we pulled back from our hug, Parker looked up at my house. I'd forgotten to turn a light on before I left for the beach, so the windows were filled with black.

"Is your dad home?" he asked quietly.

"No, he's working."

Parker turned back to me and cupped my cheeks in his large hands. "Can I come inside?"

I knew what I wanted to say, but after what had happened last time, I was concerned. "Parker, I don't know if that's such a good idea," I answered, reaching up to touch his bruised face again.

"He's not home, Freya. Please. I'm not ready to leave you yet. I just need a little more time. You make it easier to breathe."

There was no way on Earth I could say no to him after that admission. Truth was, I could breathe easier around him, too. Well, if we weren't fighting.

I turned from Parker long enough to unlock the front door and flip on the light before stepping aside to let him in.

"Nice place," he said as he looked around.

"Thanks. You didn't get the full experience last time, coming through my bedroom window and all."

The smile he gave me unfurled some of the pressure that had built in my chest from our earlier conversation, and I couldn't help but to smile back. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

I laughed at him as I made my way through the living room, switching on lamps here and there for more light. "If you say so. I personally don't find a broken neck all that fun, but that's just me." I came to a stop in the center of the room and placed my hands on my hips. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"I'm good," he replied, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "But if you're hungry, go ahead and eat. I don't want to interrupt your dinner or anything. Just go about your night as you planned."

"I've already eaten. I was just planning on taking a shower and going to bed."

His face grew crestfallen as he focused on the ground. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize. I can head out if you want."

"Oh, no!" I started as he took a step back toward the door. Suddenly, the thought of Parker leaving left a gaping hole in the pit of my stomach. "I didn't mean you had to leave. I just meant that I don't have any plans for the night. You're welcome to stay. I'll just take a quick shower and we can hang out or something."

Please stay, I thought as he stood in place, as if he were trying to make up his mind. _Please, please stay._ I didn't want to be alone, not after such an emotional few hours with Parker. More than that, I wanted his presence, the peacefulness I felt when he was around. Deciding to put myself out there in the hopes of building on the trust we seemed to have placed between us, I told him the God's honest truth. "I want you to stay. You make it easier for me to breathe, too."

I watched as he exhaled a long, slow breath. The smile that spread across his face was nothing less than magnificent. My stomach fluttered with nerves as we stared at each other, neither of us moving or speaking. The atmosphere of the room had shifted, and I suddenly became acutely aware that I was standing in my house alone...with Parker Owens.

"Freya?" He spoke and pulled my head back from the clouds.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to take a shower or stand there gawking at me all night?" His eyes shone with humor as he teased me, pulling me from my haze completely.

"Right! Shower. I'll just be a few minutes," I said as I bolted toward the stairs. "Make yourself at home," I called over my shoulder and I could have sworn I heard him laughing.

* * *

I took what was probably the fastest shower in female history. I had no doubt I could have used a few more minutes with the conditioner sitting on my long, thick hair, but the nervous energy coursing through me wouldn't allow my body to slow down. I dried quickly, slapped on some lotion and twisted my damp locks up into a clip at the top of my head, uninterested in taking the ten minutes I normally spent on drying it. I slipped into the sleep shorts and tank top I'd grabbed and opened the bathroom door, coming to a halt at the sight of Parker on my bed. He was propped against a pile of pillows, his shoes kicked off and his feet crossed at the ankle. In his lap was the photo album I'd been looking through the night before. I'd left it sitting on my bedside table and he must have gotten curious in the ten minutes I was in the bathroom. When my gaze finally landed on his face, those deep brown eyes of his darkened even further as he dragged them up my bare legs. There was nothing overtly revealing about my pajamas, but the shorts were kind of tiny and the tank hugged my curves just enough so imagination wasn't necessary.

Goose bumps broke out over my skin as my cheeks heated with a deep blush. The nervous excitement I'd been feeling while down in the living room had tripled, leaving me unsure of how to act. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I hugged one arm around my waist and used the other to point at the open album in his lap. "Find anything interesting?"

Parker sheepishly ducked his head down and gave a little laugh. "Uh, yeah. Sorry. I didn't mean to snoop but I looked at the first couple of picture and kind of became fascinated."

I smiled gently to reassure him that I wasn't upset and walked over to sit next to him against the headboard. "It's okay." I pulled the album so we could both see it and ran my finger across the photo of my mother's smiling face. My own smile was a mirror image as I grinned down at it.

"I know I said it before, but damn, it's unbelievable how much you look just like your mom."

"I know," I whispered as I took in the sparkle shining in her azure eyes. I sniffled back the tears and looked at Parker, the corner of my mouth quirking up in a tiny smile. "You know, I could say the same about you and Toby. In that picture I saw, you could have been twins if you'd been the same age."

He laughed, but I could hear the melancholy in it. "Believe me, I know." Parker closed the album and lifted it to put it back on my nightstand.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" I asked as he lay back on the bed, his head twisting to face me.

"What hurts?"

"Looking in the mirror every single day and seeing the person you lost looking back at you."

"Like a knife to the stomach, gorgeous." I scooted down on the bed and curled up on my side, propping my head up so I could focus on Parker's beautiful face. "But it gets better," he continued. "Eventually, you'll be able to smile when you look in the mirror. If you really think about it, we're lucky."

"How do you figure that?"

His hand came up and tucked a loose, damp strand of hair behind my ear. "Because we'll never have to worry about forgetting what they look like. Most people don't have that, gorgeous. As the years pass, people tend to forget what the people they loved looked like. We'll never lose that."

"I never thought of it like that." My smile stretched from ear to ear at the poetic way Parker spun something that had been causing me so much grief. "You know, you're kind of smart."

A deep chuckle resonated through his chest. "Who'da thunk it, huh?"

I gave his shoulder a shove as we both fell back laughing. "The day you came to school with that bruise, I was so excited to see you," I said quietly. "I wanted to thank you for everything you'd done for me the night you snuck in my room, how you'd been there for me..."

"I'm so sorry, gorgeous."

"It's okay. I understand what you were going through and it's forgiven. But what I also wanted to tell you was that I'd talked to my dad."

He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up in his hand. "You did?"

"Yeah." I grinned widely. "We've been talking a lot more and he's even managed to make it home a few times for us to have dinner together. Things aren't back to normal yet, but we're slowly getting there."

"Freya, that's great! I'm so damn happy for you, sweetheart. You deserve to be happy."

After telling him about my dad, Parker grew quiet, the humor and sadness gone as we looked at each other. My breath sped up at the intensity in Parker's eyes, and by the rapid rise and fall of his chest, I knew he felt it, too.

His brows tipped together in a frown as he opened his mouth to break the silence. "When you told me you wanted to pretend you'd never known me, I can't begin to describe how much that cut me. I know what I said hurt you, and I'm so damn sorry for that, Freya. You'll never know how much I hate myself for hurting you like that. But I can't pretend we never met." He spoke so passionately, so honestly, that my breath hitched in my lungs. "I know it sounds crazy, sweetheart, but you make me feel better when you're around. You make _me_ better. I don't want to lose that. I _can't_."

My heartrate spiked at his impassioned declaration. If I hadn't already forgiven him, there was no way my walls would have been able to sustain the impact after what he'd just said. Parker held too much power over me. It was dangerous how much of myself I was giving him, but I had no control over it.

"Friends fight, Parker. They fight and they get past it. We're past it, I promise."

When his scowl remained, I began to worry about what was going through his head.

"I can't be your friend, Freya."

With that one sentence, my heart shattered. In the blink of an eye, I'd gone from happy to devastated. "But...why?" My voice broke. "You just said—"

His rough fingers came up and covered my lips, effectively silencing me. "I can't be your friend because I can't keep acting like I'm okay not kissing you every time I see you. I don't know what the hell you're doing to me, gorgeous, but you are all I think about. I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you down on that beach. I can't be your friend because I want you to be my girl more than I want my next breath." He leaned in closer, wrapping his strong hand around my neck and resting his forehead against mine, his eyes clenched shut as though he was in pain. "Tell me you feel the same way, Freya. God, please feel the same way. I don't think I could take it if you didn't."

I couldn't find my voice. My mouth opened to speak but no words would come out. I wanted so badly to tell him I felt exactly like he did, but I was overwhelmed by just how much I wanted him. As the seconds ticked by without a response from me, I could see his devastation growing. He inhaled sharply and began to twist away from me. Panic took over, lancing through me as he stood from the bed and took steps for the door.

"No, wait!" I shouted, reaching out for him. "I do, Parker! I _do_ feel the same way. Please don't leave. _Please_."

That was all it took to get Parker to turn around. Before I could do so much as blink, he was back at the bed, grabbing my face in his hands and laying the most deliciously devastating kiss on me. He kissed me like he was a man trapped in the desert and I was the first glass of water he'd seen in days. He poured every ounce of his want, his need for me into that kiss and I felt so strongly for him, I had no problem returning it. The slide of his piercing against my lips sent shivers down my spine as his tongue shot out, coaxing me to open for him. The moment my lips parted for him, my own tongue dueling with his, a deep groan of satisfaction rumbled up from his throat. I was lost. Everything I was became lost in Parker's kiss, his touch, the smell and taste of him. I never wanted it to end, yet at the same time, the intensity of it scared me.

When we parted, both of us sucking in much needed air, it took everything I had to release the tight hold I had on his hair. The sound of the front door closing pulled us from our haze. I glanced at the alarm clock beside my bed to see it was a quarter past ten.

"My dad's home," I whispered against his lips. I hated the idea of him leaving, but I knew it was for the best. The last thing either of us needed was for my father to catch Parker in my bedroom.

"Christ, gorgeous, you have no clue what you do to me. I've been dreaming about kissing you since we met."

"I hope the reality lived up to the fantasy." I giggled.

"The fantasy can't even compare." He pressed three quick pecks on my lips before finally pulling away and hurrying for my bedroom window. "I'll see you in the morning, sweetheart."

I followed after him to slide the window shut behind him. "Sweet dreams, Parker."

He stole one last kiss before telling me, "They will be now, baby. Sleep good."

# Chapter Fourteen

### Freya

There was a noticeable spring in my step the next morning as I got ready for school. Just the thought of seeing Parker after the previous night had me feeling like I was walking on air. I had all but abandoned my prior plans to get through my senior year without connections. I had a friend—dare I say, even a best friend?—in Stella, a pretty decent acquaintance in Michael and a... _boyfriend?_ Or were Parker and I still too new to label whatever we were? I wasn't sure, but whatever we were was the root cause of the excitement that had kept me tossing and turning in bed most of the night. Giddy anticipation had made it impossible for me to sleep.

I found myself putting a little more effort into my appearance, wanting to impress Parker when he saw me. I didn't go overboard; I just wasn't the kind of girl who strived for being trendy or in-style. But I found a nice, off-the-shoulder blousy top to pair with my skinny jeans and took the time to tame my hair so I could wear it down. My simple ponytail just wasn't going to cut it. I practically skipped from the kitchen to the front door, messenger bag in hand, after sucking down a cup of coffee and a granola bar. The moment I swung the door open I startled, a high-pitched yelp bursting past my lips.

"God, you scared me," I breathed with a hand to my chest. "What are you doing here?"

Parker lowered the hand that had been poised to knock. "Taking my girl to school." He flashed that heart-stopping grin I'd become addicted to.

"Your girl, huh?" My smirk matched his own.

"Oh, yeah," he said, stepping into my personal space. "After last night, it's a sure thing. If you didn't want this, then you shouldn't have let me kiss you. Now you're all mine."

A shiver worked its way through me as he wrapped his long arms around my waist and peered down, his dark, endless eyes staring into mine.

My brain malfunctioned at the feel of his warm body pressed tightly against mine. Without conscious thought, I found myself flirting shamelessly, egging him on. "So other than rides to school, what else does being your girl entail?"

His eyes shot over my shoulder before coming back to me. "Your dad here?"

"Lucky you, you missed him by just a few minutes."

"Okay then, why don't I show you what else being my girl entails?" Without hesitation, his soft, full lips came down on mine in a tender kiss. However, the instant I leaned in to him, responding to each slide of his lips, the tenderness was replaced by fierce passion so intense that if Parker hadn't already been holding me up, my knees would have buckled. My hands had a mind of their own, slipping into his jacket to wrap around his firm back. Even though there wasn't enough space between our bodies for light to get through, it wasn't enough. I needed to be closer.

After what felt like an eternity, Parker pulled away, his ragged breath blowing out in puffs in the cold air. I didn't know how I missed it until that moment, but as I looked up into his deep, dark eyes, I noticed flecks of gold and green mixed in with the rich chocolate brown. They were the most beautiful shade of brown I'd ever seen. His voice came out gruff as his thumb trailed over my swollen bottom lip. "You keep looking at me like that and we'll never make it to school, gorgeous."

A deep red blush climbed up my neck to my cheeks as my eyes grew wide at his insinuation. Parker chuckled as he leaned past me and pulled my front door closed before grabbing hold of my hand and leading me toward his truck. Once inside the warm cab, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He was intense; _we_ were intense together, but even with the emotional upheaval I felt in his presence, I had no doubt I still wasn't quite ready to take that step with him. Yes, what I felt for Parker was more than I'd ever felt for any boy I'd ever dated—I could take those past emotions and multiply them by twenty and that was what I felt for Parker—but one thing my mother had always stressed was to never do something I wasn't a hundred percent sure of. And things were way too new for me to be that sure of Parker.

The cold whip of air that filled the cab as Parker opened the driver's side door and climbed in yanked me from my musings. I sat in silence, studying his profile as he threw the truck into drive and headed in the direction of school. After a few minutes, his hand found mine and he used it to pull me to the middle of the bench seat. "What are you thinking so hard about?" he asked, briefly taking his eyes off the road long enough to shoot me a questioning glance.

"Um...I'm not...I mean I never...um, had sex." I somehow managed to stutter, feeling like my skin was on fire as I concentrated on twisting my fingers together nervously in my lap. I could no longer look at him, the admission was so embarrassing.

In my peripheral vision, I saw his head snap in my direction quickly before turning back to the road. Silence enveloped the cab of the truck for several seconds before he finally asked, "You're a virgin, Freya?"

God, I hated that question. Seriously, was it so bad to still be a virgin at seventeen? Why was that so hard to believe in our society? "Yes," I answered firmly, trying to sound more confident than I felt at the moment. My gaze remained pinned on the windshield as we turned into the school parking lot. When Parker finally came to a stop and put the truck in park, he turned his body fully toward me and waited for me to look at him. When he finally grew impatient with my reluctance, his fingers gently grasped hold of my chin and turned my face to his. Sincerity shined through the darkness as he leaned in and gave me a brief kiss.

"Baby, don't be embarrassed. Not around me."

"I'm not embarrassed," I lied weakly. "I'm just...I guess I hadn't really thought about it until this morning." I pulled my chin from his fingers and looked back down at my lap. I couldn't say the next part if I was looking at him, and I _needed_ to say it. "I'm just not ready for that right now. What if you get bored with me? What if you decide you don't want to wait around for me to be ready?"

He'd clearly had enough of my looking at anything but him, because the next thing I knew his strong hands were around my waist and lifting me up until I was seated firmly in his lap.

"What are you doing?" I asked, startled by the frustration in his expression.

"You're obviously getting in your own head about this, so I needed to make sure I had your damn attention," he stated heatedly. "First of all, I don't care that you're a virgin. Honestly, I'm thrilled that no other guy has touched you before. I'm over the moon, freaking ecstatic about it! That means when you finally _do_ decide you're ready to be with me, everything about you will be mine. You'll be giving me something no one else can ever have."

He sounded so certain, so self-assured, that I found myself holding my breath as he continued. "I could never, _ever_ get tired of waiting for you, sweetheart. I don't care if it takes years for you to finally feel ready. I need you to get that through your head now. I was miserable until I met you. That first day on the beach, when you gave me a verbal ass-whipping was the first time I can remember being happy in years. I actually looked forward to seeing you again just so I could try to rile you up. Christ, you're so cute when you get all pissy, baby."

The pressure building in my chest forced me to exhale and suck in a ragged breath. I cut my eyes and glared, but there was no anger behind them. "That's why you were always messing with me?"

Parker leaned in and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. "You made it clear you didn't like me. The only way I could get your attention was to push your buttons."

"How romantic," I deadpanned. "You know, you could have just tried being a little bit nicer. That would have been a lot more helpful."

His temple rubbed against mine as he pulled back to look at me. "You told me everything happens for a reason, and that got me thinking. I think there was a reason your dad picked Sommerspoint of all places. I think it was destiny that brought you here. We both need each other, Freya. There isn't anyone in my life who understands everything I've been through the way you do, and I think the same holds true for you. I think we were meant to heal each other. I feel calmer and more alive at the same time when you walk in the room. That has to mean something."

"Like divine intervention?"

When his hand came up to cup my cheek I couldn't help but to lean into his touch. "Call it whatever you want. All I know is there's no one else who's ever made me feel like you do. I couldn't breathe until I met you. Don't you get it? I could never get tired of you. You're like air to me. You're necessary."

Tears welled up in my eyes at the same time my heart swelled in my chest. As I studied his earnest expression, I had to question how I'd ever been able to maintain my walls around Parker.

"You really like me, don't you?" I asked in an awed whisper.

I watched in delight as his head fell back in laughter. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard him make. "Yeah, gorgeous. I really, _really_ like you."

I had to ask a question that had been weighing heavily on my mind. "You don't think this is moving too fast? It's not too...intense? Doesn't this seem kind of crazy? It's hardly been over a month! It's not supposed to feel like this."

"I'll be damned if I question why it feels so good to be around you, Freya. And I won't let you talk yourself out of this, either. Tell me you don't feel better when I'm holding you," he demanded. "Tell me you don't feel lighter when we're together."

I couldn't. I couldn't tell him I didn't feel that, because I did. I felt _everything_ so strongly when he was with me.

"We're good for each other." He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled my forehead to his, squeezing his eyes closed as he spoke. "I'm not going to question that because other people might think it's too fast."

He was right. I had no reason to argue with him when everything he said made perfect sense to me. Other people might not understand our connection, but that was okay. They hadn't suffered the same way we had. They hadn't found a kindred spirit in another person who made each day more bearable. That was what Parker and I were for each other. Maybe it would be for the long haul, or maybe one day we'd fizzle out. While that thought left an ache deep inside me, I wasn't so far-gone for him that I couldn't be realistic. The odds of high school sweethearts making it were slim, but as long as we were providing each other with what we needed in that moment, I wouldn't question it. I was actually _happy_...in _Sommerspoint_ , for crying out loud. And it was all because of Parker. Maybe what he said was true. Maybe what my mom taught me was real. Maybe everything _did_ happen for a reason, and that was what led us to each other.

* * *

I was quickly learning that Parker was a major fan of PDA. As soon as we climbed from his truck, he had his arm wrapped around my shoulder, holding me firmly against his side as we entered the school and navigated the hallway toward our lockers. I worked hard to ignore the stares and whispers of shock from the kids around us, but the moment Stella laid eyes on us wrapped around each other, she squealed so loud that poor Michael, who'd been standing right next to her, had to cover his ears.

My eyes darted around nervously as everyone in the vicinity turned to see what all the fuss was about. Anxiety clawed its way up my chest as more and more students turned to gawk at Parker and me. I was just about to pull away and put some distance between us when I felt his warm breath kiss the skin of my neck. "I love it when you wear your hair down, gorgeous," he mumbled for only me to hear. "I didn't tell you when I picked you up, but you look so damn pretty. I'm one lucky bastard."

And just like that, the anxiety released its grip on me and blew away like a puff of smoke. Parker had given me just what I needed to keep me from losing it. I melted further into his side as we closed the last remaining feet between Stella and us.

"I knew it!" she shrieked. "I _knew_ you two would end up together!" She hopped up and down on her tiny feet and I turned just in time to see Michael staring down at my friend with adoration in his blue eyes. "You two are so cute together! Aren't they cute, Michael? They're just the cutest things ever!"

"How can you have so much energy in the mornings?" Parker asked in bewilderment. "It's unnatural, Stel. Seriously, I think you should get that checked out or something."

Stella and I laughed as Michael's arm laid across her shoulders. "I don't know, I think it's kinda cute. She's like our own personal pick-me-up. Who needs coffee when she's around?"

Stella flushed as red as her hair as a shy giggle passed her lips.

"Soooo," Parker whispered in my ear as Stella and Michael spoke in hushed tones. "Pavlock's got the hots for the woodland fairy?"

"Yep." I grinned widely. "Now do you think you can back off him? He's actually a pretty nice guy."

Parker's arm on my shoulder squeezed. "Hey, as long as he's not trying to steal my girl, we're cool."

"No stealing, I promise. He was just trying to butter me up so I'd talk to Stella for him."

His gaze returned to the couple in front of us. "Is it just me or are those two sickeningly sweet together?"

I laughed loudly as I gave him a full body hug. "Not just you. I thought the same thing."

"I think he's kind of crazy for you," I told Stella as we made our way to English once Michael took off for his first class.

Stella's face lit up as she turned to look over her shoulder in the direction Michael had left in.

"He's so sweet!" she all but yelled as we headed into the classroom. The moment we crossed the threshold, Brynn's eyes nearly tripled in size at the sight of Parker's arm around me before dropping into vicious slits. If looks could kill, Brynn would have been positively lethal. Before I had the chance to tense under her scrutiny, Parker's voice was in my ear. "Ignore her, baby. She doesn't matter."

"I hate this," I groaned as I dropped into my seat and turned to look at him, whispering, "I wish I could just blend in with the wallpaper."

Parker leaned in to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and I had to work hard to keep myself from closing the rest of the distance and kissing the beautiful smile on his lips. "Well, seeing as the wallpaper is a nasty shade of baby-puke brown, I'm kind of glad you don't blend in." I glared at him playfully as he continued. "All we have to do is get through the days and then we'll have the beach and the sunset all to ourselves. Just keep reminding yourself of that."

"You know, you don't seem too bad at this whole boyfriend thing. I might just keep you around after all."

The grin he threw me was positively sinful. "Couldn't get rid of me if you tried, gorgeous."

# Chapter Fifteen

### Freya

For the first several weeks of our relationship, everything was about us. The outside world faded into the background as we allowed ourselves to get lost in each other. Word of mouth proved to work faster than I ever could have imagined, but I refused to let it dampen the happiness I'd finally found. I let Parker's soothing presence drown out the evil glares and whispered rumors from Cassidy and her friends. My life was good. The pain of my loss was still there, but it had dulled as time passed. Because of him, the colors of my world were growing more and more vibrant every day.

I had to make an effort to disengage myself from my new boyfriend long enough to spend time with my father and Stella. It was hard when all I wanted was to fill every waking moment with Parker. No matter how unreasonable it was, I wanted to push the rest of the world away so it could just be me and him. I would have been lying if I said it didn't concern me just how wrapped up in each other we were from the start. I knew the risks involved in tying oneself to another so completely. But my head was constantly losing the battle with my heart, and rationality quickly fell to the wayside to make room for as much of Parker as I could have. Our month-long relationship was moving at warp-speed, but instead of worrying about slowing it down, I savored the thrill of every moment we had together.

While things were moving faster than we could control, Parker never once pressured me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. However, it was quickly reaching the point where I hated it every time he pulled away from me. My body was in control of my brain. It was like an internal switch had been flipped inside of me, setting my blood to a rolling boil every time he touched me. I knew the frenzied feeling well. I was currently experiencing it as Parker's weight rested on top of me in my bed. We'd gotten home from our sunset an hour before and as was prone to happen with us, what had started as a gentle kiss had morphed into a passionate make-out session in the blink of an eye.

" _Parker_ ," I moaned softly as his lips trailed a heated path down my neck.

He let out an almost-animalistic groan. "Baby, we have to stop." His breath rustled my hair as he rested his forehead in my shoulder, his chest rising and falling like he'd just run a marathon.

"I don't want to stop," I whined as he slowly lifted himself off me. The instant the cool air hit my skin, I missed his warmth wrapped around me.

"Not yet, gorgeous. You have to trust me. You aren't ready yet." I could hear the determination in his words, but the near-black color of his eyes belied his conviction. He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

"I'm ready," I panted, trailing kisses along his neck until I reached his kiss-swollen lips. That warm metal ring pressing against my mouth sent a thrill through me.

Parker released a sound of pain as he pushed up to sitting. "You're killing me, Freya. You know that?"

" _I'm_ killing _you_?" I squeaked indignantly. "You're the one who's been driving me crazy for a month! You're a tease! That's what you are!"

Parker's deep, rumbling laughter echoed through my bedroom as he pulled me into his lap and buried his face in my hair. "Ah, gorgeous, you're so cute when you get all pissy like this."

"Glad I could amuse you," I grumbled, still feeling an overwhelming need in my body for... _something_ I didn't quite understand. It was an unfamiliar ache I'd never experienced before Parker.

"I'm not trying to upset you, Freya. You have to know that. But I don't want your first time to be a quickie we have to squeeze out before your dad gets home. I don't want you to feel like I pushed you before you were absolutely certain." When I moved to argue, his hand came up and covered my mouth. "What you're feeling right now is just the heat of the moment, sweetheart. When you're ready...really and truly ready, you'll feel like this when I'm not even touching you. There won't be a single doubt in your mind. Can you honestly tell me you have no doubts whatsoever right now?"

My head dropped on a frown as I gave his words serious thought. Could I really look him in the eyes and tell him I didn't have a single doubt? That after only a month—albeit a blissful month—I felt absolutely secure in our relationship? The answer was no. It still felt too soon to give those kinds of reassurances. Even though it was a mature decision, the realization that we weren't quite there yet made me a little sad.

"Ah, sweetheart, don't look so upset."

"But I _want_ to be ready," I pouted, feeling like there was something wrong with me in that moment.

"You will," he replied softly. "You just have to give it time. We're still new. There isn't any reason to rush it."

"It doesn't feel like we're new, though." That was the God's honest truth. "It's crazy, but I feel like you know me better than anyone."

Parker leaned in and placed a slow, gentle kiss on my lips. "I know what you mean. I feel the exact same way." The kiss was seconds away from reaching the point of retreat when the sound of the front door opening cut us short like a bucket of ice water being dumped over the top of our heads.

"Crap! My dad's home!" Quick as lightning, I jumped from my spot on Parker's lap and began running around my room, frantically snatching up all of his stuff. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind as I shoved his jacket and backpack at him before grabbing his arm and jerking him up, pushing him toward my bedroom window.

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell? I'm not going out the window, Freya. I'm gonna break my neck one day!"

"It's better than getting busted in your girlfriend's bedroom! Move your ass." I gave him another shove but it was like trying to move a brick wall.

"Why can't I just meet your dad, Freya? We've been together for a month now. Don't you think it's time?"

I hopped nervously from foot to foot, the thought of introducing my boyfriend to my father twisting my stomach into knots. "I need to prepare him before you two meet. I don't want to just spring it on him, you know? Things aren't as rocky as they were, but I don't want to risk anything setting him back to how he was when we first got here." I pleaded with my eyes, praying he'd understand as he analyzed."

Finally, with a put-out sigh, he relented. "Fine, but you need to talk to him soon. I'm kind of tired of having to sneak in and out of my girlfriend's window all the time."

"I promise I'll talk to him soon. But you have to go!" I rushed.

With one final shove, he moved to the window and began to climb out, pausing halfway in to lean over and give me one last, quick kiss. "I'm crazy about you, Freya Linden."

The smile that spread across my cheeks was positively glowing. "I'm pretty crazy about you, too, Parker Owens."

* * *

That night as my father and I sat at the table having dinner, there was an underlying tension in the air. Our conversation had consisted of menial topics like the weather or how our day had been. Dad looked up from his plate and smiled every so often, but I could tell there was something bothering him.

"Is everything okay, Dad?"

"Of course, honey. Why do you ask?"

I sat my fork down and folded my hands in my lap as I spoke. "You seem preoccupied, I guess. Is it something at work?"

He rested his own fork on his plate, the fake smile he'd been wearing all evening finally melting into something more genuine. "I can't hide anything from you, can I? You're so intuitive. Just like your mother." In the past, that comparison would have caused a pain to radiate through my chest. By that point, though, it just felt right. I smiled in return and reached out to squeeze his hand. Before I could pull back, Dad flipped his hand palm-side up and wrapped his big, strong fingers around my own.

"I've been thinking a lot about how you have less than a year left before you go off to college, and I guess I was just wondering where you were thinking of attending."

It was funny that he'd bring it up. I'd been giving a lot of thought to where I wanted to go. When we first moved to Sommerspoint I was so certain I'd rush back to Chicago at the first chance, but things had changed. My outlook on life was different.

"I applied at a few schools at the beginning of the year, but nothing's set in stone yet."

"Out of state?"

"Well...yeah." Dad pulled in a deep breath and nodded in understanding, even though the expression on his face wilted before my very eyes. He pulled his hand back and reached for his fork once again before I continued. "But I've been thinking...things are going pretty well here. I thought maybe I'd try and stay local."

His bite was halfway to his mouth when he paused. "Because of your boyfriend?"

A blush spread across my cheeks at the mention of Parker. "How did you know?" I'd intentionally avoided having that conversation with my dad. We were still on somewhat shaky ground, and I didn't know how well he would have handled finding out his daughter was in a serious relationship.

The corner of Dad's mouth tipped up just slightly. "A father knows these things, honey."

My cheeks grew redder as the tips of my ears started to burn I twisted my fingers together in my lap, unable to meet his gaze. "I was going to tell you, I just didn't know if it would have been too much."

"Is he good to you?"

"Very," I replied whole-heartedly.

"Then I'd like to meet this boy, see what's so special about him. I mean, he must be something if you're thinking of giving up an out-of-state school for him."

My gaze flashed to his as my brows tipped down. "Daddy, I'm not staying because of Parker. I mean, yeah, I'd love it if we went to school close to each other, but we haven't even talked about that."

"Then what changed your mind?"

"Well...you. Things are getting better between us, and I just thought that...maybe leaving..." I trailed off as my voice grew hoarse and my eyes clouded over at the thought of leaving my dad. While Parker had been fantastic in helping me through some of the darkest times in my life, I still very much needed my dad. "Maybe leaving isn't the right choice. I want to stay because of you."

He was on his feet in a heartbeat, pulling me from my chair and wrapping me in a tight hug. "I love you, baby girl. So damn much. Never, ever doubt that."

"I love you, too, Daddy," I responded as I snuggled further into his chest.

After several long beats, we finally pulled away. "Now, I think it's about time I meet this young man, don't you think?"

I grinned up at my father warmly. "Yeah, I do. But only if you promise to be nice."

"I promise." He chuckled light-heartedly. "But you better warn him. If he messed up my arbor, I expect him to be the one to fix it."

Well, now. I hadn't seen that coming.

# Chapter Sixteen

### Freya

"You know, I can't remember ever seeing Parker like this," Stella commented out of the blue as we navigated our way to our lockers. The hallways were flooded with students eager to get home after a long week of school.

I turned to her after banging on my locker door and pulling it open, my curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"

She glanced around the hall before stepping in close, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "Did he ever tell you about Toby?"

My stomach flipped at the heartbreaking reminder of what Parker had suffered through. "He did," I admitted before asking, "You know about that?"

"One of the curses of living in a small town. Nothing is ever really a secret. Especially something as awful as that."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Stella's green eyes washed over with sympathy as she leaned her shoulder against her locker. "It wasn't really my place to tell you. The only reason I brought it up now was because I figured you'd know the truth, seeing as you guys are practically attached at the hip. I just felt like you should know...he's been different since Toby died. Even when he was with Cassidy, he never looked as happy as he does with you."

My chest flooded with warmth at the realization that I'd given Parker something so important. Yes, he always made a point to tell me how he felt when we were together, but something about having a third party speak to the changes they witnessed in his demeanor made it seem all the more special.

"You've changed, too," she continued. "When you first got here, you always looked so unhappy, but now your eyes glow. You two are so good for each other, Freya."

I flash of guilt ran through my system. Even though things in my life were improving every day, I still hadn't confided in Stella about my mother's death. The hallways were growing quieter as more and more of our classmates barreled through the doors and out of the school. As I watched the hallway empty around us, I decided it was as good a time as any to finally tell my best friend the whole story.

As I spoke about my mother's passing and how my dad had pulled away from me, how bleak things had been for me once I arrived in Sommerspoint, her emerald eyes grew glassy with tears. I opened up about how Parker and I had leaned on each other, how the commonality of our losses formed a bond I'd never experienced before. I told her how it felt like we'd somehow helped each other to heal and how each day was happier than the one before. As I kept talking my heart ached for my mother, but I didn't suffer with the same gut-wrenching pain I had months before. It was manageable, no longer ruling every aspect of my life.

"I'm so sorry I never told you about any of this, Stella. I just didn't know how to find the words. It was easy with Parker. I felt something different about him from the very beginning."

"Oh, God," she cried as her tiny body barreled into me. Her arms wrapped me in a hug so tight, the breath was forced from my lungs. "I'm so sorry you went through all of that." She sniffled.

"It's okay now," I wheezed, trying to disengage from her vise grip. Once I was able to breathe again, I pushed on. "It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it used to. Parker was a big part in helping me with that."

With one last sniffle, Stella wiped a few tears from her cheeks and looked at me with a ridiculously huge grin. "You're in love with him!"

"What? No! I don't...I mean, I-I... No, it's too soon! I can't..." As I stumbled my way through the denial, it began to feel like I was trying harder to convince myself than her. I couldn't possibly be in love with Parker already...could I? We'd only been together a little over a month. It was too soon... _right_?

"Whatever. Tell yourself that all you want, sweetie, but you totally love that guy. It's okay, really. He's in love with you, too."

My heart skipped a beat before picking up a frenetic pace. "You think so?"

"Oh, absolutely! Have you seen the way he looks at you? It's written all over his face. It's so obvious, Freya. I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet."

As I walked down the hallway a few minutes later, I played mine and Stella's conversation over again, the truth hitting me like a sledgehammer. I was in love with Parker Owens. I was so dazed by the realization that I didn't hear Cassidy coming up behind me until she was close enough to bump her shoulder into mine, sending me stumbling to the side. "Watch it, loser," she sneered as she pushed out the doors. Part of me wanted to respond, to throw some hateful words in her face, but something dawned on me right then. She didn't matter. None of them did. I had Parker and that made her crazy, but I wouldn't let her affect me. I'd already won.

Staring at her back as she shoved through the doors into the parking lot, I watched as she walked past Parker, where he stood waiting for me, and climbed into her car. I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her.

Parker's voice pulled my mind back to the present. "Hey, baby. I was starting to think you got lost."

"Oh, no, I was just talking to Stella. Sorry to keep you waiting."

He opened the passenger door for me and helped me up, an inquisitive expression on his face. "You okay? You look a little distracted."

I buckled my seatbelt before turning to look into his gorgeous brown eyes, noticing the flecks of gold in them appeared just a bit shinier. "I'm great," I smiled sincerely.

I was more than great. I was in love with Parker Owens...the boy who made the colors in my world come back.

And it felt fantastic.

* * *

Winter had arrived in Sommerspoint, bringing with it a frigid chill in the air. Despite our best efforts, some days the cold was just too much to deal with and Parker and I would have to retreat to the warmth of my house to watch the rest of the sunset from the window. My father had taken to Parker right off the bat, having already seen the changes he helped make in me. From the first dinner where I introduced them, it was clear Parker was accepted in our home...and more than welcome to use the front door.

I shivered against the biting wind whipping against my face, huddling down further into the blanket Parker had wrapped around us. "Can we please go back inside? I'm freezing. We can watch the sunset from the kitchen."

He pulled my back tighter against his chest and rubbed his hands up and down my arms, trying to generate as much heat as possible. "Just a few more minutes, gorgeous. There's something I have to do."

He slipped the blanket off his shoulders and wrapped it tightly around me as he hunched over in front of the log we always sat on. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out one of those little red, Swiss Army knives and popped the blade out.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see." He grinned at me before turning back to the wood and focusing on whatever he was carving into the smooth, weathered surface. After a few minutes, he slid the knife closed and tucked it back into his pocket. "Done. Come here, baby."

Placing my palm in his outstretched hand, I let him pull me up and into his chest. With his arms wrapped firmly around me from behind, I looked down at the log to see what he'd done. My mouth fell open on a gasp as I took in the carving.

_F.L. + P.O._

"This is our spot, Freya. This is our beach and those are our sunsets. I wanted to do something so anyone who walked past could see this is ours. Always will be."

The words I'd been holding onto for weeks began working their way up my chest. Even after the epiphany I'd had during my conversation with Stella, I kept the words to myself, fearing Parker didn't feel as strongly as I did. At the sight of those four little letters carved into the log... _our_ log, I knew my feelings weren't one-sided. I felt it bone-deep that he cared just as strongly for me as I did for him. And I couldn't hold it back any longer.

"I love you." I turned away from our initials to stare up at the boy who had given me back my colors. He gazed at me with wide, astounded eyes. "I love you. You're so amazing and kind and wonderful, and you helped me more than you could ever imagine," I rambled. "And I tried not to tell you. I was so scared you'd freak out, but I do. I love you, Parker. I—"

Before another word could tumble from my mouth, Parker's lips crashed down on mine in the most emotionally charged kiss we'd ever experienced. As his lips danced across mine, that tantalizing ring of his driving me crazy, I felt every ounce of his love for me. However, it still didn't come close to comparing to how wonderful it felt to hear the words out loud. "I love you, too, Freya," he breathed against my mouth, his palms cupping my cheeks as he rested his forehead against mine. "I love you so damn much, baby."

My chest swelled with warmth as my heart softened with his words. It was in that moment together, down on our beach with the brilliance of the sun sinking from the sky behind us, that I couldn't even comprehend the thought of my life without him in it. Without me even realizing it was happening, Parker had become my world. I couldn't imagine ever wanting someone as much and as deeply as I wanted him.

"I'm ready," I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his wrists so I could pull his hands from my face. "I'm ready, Parker." And I was. I had no doubts, no concerns or fears. I could look at him with one hundred percent certainty and _know_ with every fiber of my being that I would never love another man as fiercely as I loved him.

"You're sure?" The uncertainly in his gaze was drowned out by the passion that turned his chocolate orbs to near black.

"Without a doubt."

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

As Freya calmly led me up the stairs to her bedroom, I tried my best to keep myself from throwing her over my shoulder and running the rest of the way. Every ounce of my blood pumped with my desire for her.

_She loves me_.

It was almost unfathomable that this beautiful, perfect creature could ever find me worthy enough to love, but I must have done something right in another life because she did. For some unknown reason, I was the lucky bastard she fell for and I swore right then I was going to do everything in my power to protect her.

"Will your dad be home later?" I asked as we crossed the threshold into her room. God, I hoped he wasn't about to walk through the door soon. After craving the girl in front of me for so long, I was afraid I'd break down in tears if we were interrupted.

"He's at a conference," she panted, trailing kisses up my neck and across the length of my jaw. Thinking was damn near impossible when she touched me like that. "He'll be gone all weekend."

In my mind, my fist pumped the air at the thought of having Freya all to myself. I wanted to take my time, go slow so as not to hurt her. I wanted her first time to be as special as possible, and I basked in the knowledge that I was granted the time to make that happen.

Oh so slowly, we undressed each other until there was nothing separating us, nothing but her soft, warm skin pressing against mine. As I laid her down on the bed, I couldn't believe I was laying my eyes on something so beautiful. Every single inch of Freya was flawless.

"Parker," she cried as I scattered kisses across her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids, everything I could reach. I couldn't get enough of her. God, I loved her.

"Shh, sweetheart. I know what you need. I don't want to hurt you."

Her eyes opened and focused on me. The brilliant cerulean color was shining so brightly, so beautifully that my heart momentarily stopped. I had done that. I brought back the light in her eyes.

"You could never hurt me." Her voice held such reverence that I made a silent promise right then to always do my best to keep her faith in me. "I love you so much, Parker."

"I love you, Freya. No one will ever love you as much as I do."

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

_N o one will ever love you as much as I do._

His words resonated deep inside of me, filling my heart so full I was afraid it would burst. My small gasps filled the silence of my bedroom at the feel of Parker's hard length pressing gently into me. The expression on his face was one of near pain as he moved ever so slowly, taking tremendous care not to hurt me. I knew it was impossible. I'd talked with my friends enough about it over the years to know there was no escaping the pain that came with losing your virginity but seeing Parker biting down on his bottom lip, fighting against every impulse in his body to prevent any discomfort, only made me love him even more.

"Are you okay?" he panted once he'd managed to push a few inches into me.

"Baby, just do it." The stretching of him inside of me was beginning to hurt, causing me to clench my teeth against the burn, but I surmised it was like pulling off a Band-Aid. Once it was done, everything would be fine; a little initial pain and it would be over. "Just do it fast."

He pushed up on his forearms to look down at me, his chest rising and falling with exertion. I never would have imagined it would take so much for a guy to _stay still_ when it came to having sex. Parker was breathing like he'd just run a marathon. "Are you sure?"

I nodded quickly and gripped onto his biceps, my nails digging into his skin so hard I was sure I drew blood. With one hard shove, Parker buried himself inside me completely. The burning discomfort was so much more intense than I had imagined, startling a pained yelp from me as soon as he breached that thin barrier.

"Jesus, baby, are you okay?"

I clenched my eyes closed, focusing on breathing in and out deeply. He stayed perfectly still as the seconds dragged by, and finally the sensation gave way to something altogether different. "Move, Parker, _please_." My hips lifted from the bed in an attempt to set some friction between us, dragging a guttural moan from deep within his chest. "I need you to move," I whimpered. As if testing my limits, Parker pulled nearly all the way out before sliding back in on a slow, smooth thrust.

" _Freya._ " I'd never heard him say my name with so much reverence. "You feel so good, baby." As if he was reading the cues of my body perfectly, his hips picked up the pace, sending fissions of pleasure through me with each single downward stroke. I'd never felt anything so extreme, so profound in all my life. "Say it...say you love me."

"I love you," I gasped as that feeling deep, deep down in my belly began to coil tighter.

"Again."

"I love you, Parker."

"Say you're mine. No one else's."

His eyes darkened further with an acute need. Whether it was for my body or my reassurance of how I felt for him, I wasn't sure. All I knew was I couldn't deny him anything at that very moment. "I'm yours."

"No one else's. You have to say it, gorgeous." His voice came off pleading as he began to thrust even harder. I could only assume from how tense his muscles had grown that he was as close as I was.

"No one, Parker. Only you. I love you."

"God, Freya. You feel perfect. You were made for me." At his words, something inside of me snapped. His name came out in a long, low moan as my body trembled and quaked beneath him. Parker's movements grew jerky and uncoordinated as the very last shudder of bliss left my body. Just moments later, he growled out my name as he came to his own release before collapsing on top of me. I reveled in the feel of his warmth as every part of him blanketed every part of me, feeling deliciously achy and exhausted.

What felt like a lifetime later, he pushed up, straightening his arms so he could see my face, his own a mask of concern. "Are you all right, baby? Did I hurt you?"

A wide, blissed-out grin spread across my face as I pushed up to kiss the frown away from his lips, taking my time to toy with the ring in his lip before pulling away. "I'm perfect," I sighed.

"You definitely are." He chuckled as he grinned down at me with a look of self-assuredness on his face.

I gave his shoulder a playful slap as he rolled off me. I made a move for the edge of the bed in order to grab my clothes and re-dress. However, Parker had other ideas. My back hit the wall of his firm chest as he jerked me down, wrapping me in his arms like he never wanted to let go. "Let me just hold you like this, just for a little while."

"Okay," I whispered as I snuggled deeper into his chest, feeling more cherished than I had in all of my life.

"You have no idea how much I love you, Freya," he mumbled in my ear as sleep slowly began to tug at my consciousness. "You're my whole world."

# Chapter Seventeen

### Freya

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months as the bond between Parker and me continued to grow. We grasped at every solitary second we could manage, never once taking for granted the opportunity to come together when we were alone. Even with people around, Parker still found reasons to continuously touch me: a brush of my hair here, a slide of his fingers down my arm there. Any and every chance he got, some part of his body was touching mine. It secretly thrilled me that he seemed to be just as addicted as I was. I never thought when I moved to Sommerspoint that I could be as happy as I was with the turn my life had taken. I had a great—albeit small—circle of friends with Stella and Michael, my relationship with my father was getting back on track, and I had the most wonderful, thoughtful, loving boyfriend a girl could ask for.

Nothing could touch me. The gossip and evil glares didn't matter. The hushed whispers about Parker and me couldn't penetrate the peacefulness that surrounded me. The cattiness of some of my classmates didn't hold a single ounce of importance. Life was bright and colorful, and it was only getting better.

Until it wasn't.

The thing about putting your entire happiness into one person is that, in the blink of an eye, it can be stripped away from you, leaving you completely stunned and shattered. When you make one person your whole world you run the risk of losing everything, feeling as through you've been set out to sea, all alone with no land in sight, just trying to stay afloat as each and every wave threatens to pull you under. I never would have thought I'd lose everything just as quickly as I found it.

But that was what happened when you lived each day for one single person. I didn't know it at the time, but I'd made a grave mistake in pouring my heart and soul into Parker Owens. And it was a mistake I'd be sure never to make again.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

I rushed through the halls, pushing past the students who were hampering my escape. The final bell of the day had rung minutes before and I needed to hurry. I told Freya I would meet her on our beach, but there were a few things I needed to do before I could go to her. It wasn't every day your girl turned eighteen, and I was determined to make her birthday one she'd never forget. However, my slow-moving classmates were tugging at my already frayed nerves by not moving out of my damn way.

"Excuse me," I huffed, sidestepping one last person before blessedly reaching the doors. Finally out of the school, I all but ran through the parking lot toward my truck. A quick glance at my watch showed I had a little more than thirty minutes to get everything I needed before hightailing it down to the beach, to my girl. However, the thrill of excitement I'd been feeling all day at the thought of giving her the gift I'd spend hours painstakingly searching for was crushed at the sight of Cassidy leaning against my truck. Or more appropriately, leaning against the driver's side door, making it impossible for me to get in without having to physically move her.

"I don't have time for your shit. Move out of the way."

The smile she shot at me had my blood running cold and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

"Oh, I think you'll make the time...especially when you see what I'm here to show you."

I took a menacing step closer to her, hoping my threatening demeanor would make her slither back into whatever hole she crawled out of. But the instant her spine stiffened and her chin came up in the air, I knew I was right to worry. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone and held it up for me to see what was open on the screen. My heart plummeted from my chest at the image in front of me.

"How did you get that?" I seethed as I grabbed the phone from her hand, scrolling through to see picture after picture of my father in an embrace with a woman who most definitely wasn't my mom; an embrace that left little to the imagination as to the type of relationship they had together.

I'd known for a while that my dad had been cheating, but up until that moment, I always thought I was the only one. I managed to keep his indiscretions away from my mom over the years, knowing just how badly the fallout would be if she ever discovered the truth, but the proof of his sloppiness was staring me in the face. I was no longer the only one who knew, and the one other person in our little town with the knowledge of my father's affair was someone who had the power to destroy the already crumbling foundation my family was sitting on.

"What do you want?" I somehow managed to speak through the massive fist that had grabbed hold of my chest and was squeezing the life out of me.

Cassidy snatched the phone from my fist and tossed it back in her purse before crossing her arms over her chest, putting on display the cleavage that was barely contained in her low-cut top as it was. "I want you to break up with your slutty little girlfriend."

Rage like I'd never experienced before took over, blood rushed in my ears so loud I could barely hear anything else. "You've lost your fucking mind," I growled as I stepped even closer. My fists balled at my sides. The small sliver of pain from my nails digging into my flesh was the only thing that kept me centered enough to prevent me from putting my hands on her. I'd been raised all my life to never, _ever_ hit a girl, but Cassidy was testing that resolve.

"If you don't, these photos are going to make their way to your mother. I don't think that's something you want, now, is it? How much do you think it would take to push her over the edge completely?"

Before my brain could even process what I was doing, I reared back and, with a feral yell, planted my fist into the side of my truck just inches away from Cassidy's head. The startled yelp she made would have given me pleasure had I not been feeling like a hole was forming beneath my feet, about to swallow me up.

"Why are you doing this, Cass? What the hell did Freya ever do to you?"

"She took what's mine!" Cassidy lost hold of her calm demeanor right then, her pale skin flushing red as she carried on. "We were great together, Parker. You know that. We were the most popular couple in school, and now people think I'm a joke. Even after we broke up, it was still you and me. You would have come back to me eventually, I know you would have. Everything was perfect until that bitch moved here."

"Call her one more name and I swear you'll regret it."

Her eyes narrowed as she sneered. "I don't think you're in a position to be making threats."

She was right. Sucking in a deep breath, I took a step back and ran my hands through my hair, grabbing fistfuls as my whole world came crashing down around me. Cassidy had me by the balls, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was being backed into a corner with no way of escaping. Images of my mom's pale, bleeding body sprawled out on the bathroom floor flooded my mind. There was no way I could ever allow her to know what my father was doing. It would break her completely. It would send her back into that darkness that almost took her from me three years ago.

Cassidy took my silence as an opportunity to step closer, placing her palm on my cheek. As soon as her skin touched mine I jerked back, unable to stand the feel of her touch. Her hand hung in the air for a few seconds before she finally dropped it. "You'll come around," she said with a firm nod. "We're meant for each other. You'll see that eventually."

"I wouldn't count on that," I ground out between clenched teeth, my jaw ticking uncontrollably. "You're the fucking devil."

A flash of hurt lit up her eyes so briefly I almost missed it before she masked it behind calm collectiveness. "You have until tomorrow to do it. If you don't, you'll regret it."

"The only thing I regret is ever giving a selfish bitch like you the time of day."

Her shoulder came up in a casual shrug as she began to walk away. "Like I said, you'll come around. See you tomorrow, baby."

I never knew it was possible to hate someone as much as I hated Cassidy right then. In a matter of minutes, she'd managed to strip away every good thing I had in my life. She knew my weakness and hadn't hesitated to dig her claws into it. It took someone truly despicable to follow through on a threat like hers, but if I knew anything, it was that Cassidy didn't have a redeemable bone in her body.

* * *

I could hear my mother crying from her bedroom the second I walked through the front door. It had obviously been a bad day. While instinct screamed at me to go and comfort her, my brain wouldn't shut off. I needed to find a way out of this. There had to be a solution. Walking on quiet feet so as not to disturb Mom, I shut my bedroom door and began to pace, thinking of anything and everything I could do in order to keep Freya. The thought of going to Cassidy's parents was a joke. Hell, they were the ones who made her into the conniving bitch she was, so there was no way in Hell I'd be able to get any help from either of them. I could go to Freya and tell her the truth, but was I willing to risk Cassidy finding out and showing those pictures to my mother? I paused in my pacing and listened closely to my mother's sobs. I couldn't do that. I couldn't let her hurt any more than she already was. It had been my job to protect Toby and I'd failed. I couldn't fail my mother. I only had one choice.

Grabbing my phone from my back pocket, I called the one person I despised more than anything. The phone connected after only three rings.

"Dad, I need you to come home."

* * *

I'd left Freya down on the beach.

My stomach twisted into knots as I waited for my father to get home. My cell had dinged a few times with text alerts, but I couldn't bring myself to read them. I knew they were from her, and if I read them I'd cave and go running down to that beach. I needed her like I needed air. But I had to fix this first. With each ding of my phone, I felt a small piece of me crack and break away.

The sound of the front door opening and closing alerted me to my father's arrival. As he stepped into the kitchen, I took in the man who should have been doing everything in his power to protect his family. Instead, he'd pushed us to the wayside for his own selfishness and I was at risk of having to pay the price.

"This better be important, Parker," he grumbled as he walked to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Cassidy Ashworth knows about your affair," I spit out, not bothering to mask the disdain in my voice. "She's got pictures and she's threatening to show Mom."

The bottle paused midway to his mouth for several seconds before he finally put it to his lips and took a long pull.

He remained silent for a few minutes as I stared at him. Finally, he said in a bored tone, "Well, then I suggest you give the little bitch what she's wanting."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I knew the man had always been a bastard, but never to this level. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I laughed in disbelief. "She's threatening to ruin my life! _Mom's_ life!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, unable to control the rage coursing through my blood.

"Shut your fucking mouth," he hissed as he stepped into my space. "You _want_ your mom to hear you?"

"Fuck you!" I bellowed. "You're a sorry piece of shit, you know that? This is your fault and I'm stuck fixing it, as fucking always!"

My vision was so clouded with fury I didn't see the fist flying toward my face until it made impact. My head snapped to the side as I staggered back, but he wasn't finished. A well-placed punch to my gut knocked the wind out of me and took me to my knees.

My father leaned down closer to my level. "You'll do what I say because this is my goddamned house," he hissed in my ear. "You don't have a choice, you little shit, so I suggest you fix it."

With one last kick to my ribs, he was out the back door, not bothering to look back. As I leaned over, gasping for air from my father's beating, I felt the happiness slowly seeping out of me. There was nothing I could do. I had no choice. I had to protect my mother no matter what. I was the only one who was going to do it.

I slowly climbed to my feet and headed toward my bedroom, collapsing on my bed. I hadn't cried in years, but the realization that I had to let go of the only good thing in my miserable life had tears burning the backs of my eyes. How did you let go of someone you loved? How was I supposed to just walk away from her? The thought of not having her burned like acid in my gut. As I lay in bed, waiting for sleep that would never come, I could only pray she'd be able to forgive me one day.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

The sun had long since set with no signs of Parker. The few texts I sent asking where he was had gone unanswered. I stayed on that beach, on our log, until I had no choice but to head back, worried I wouldn't be able to see the path if I waited too much longer.

Surely there was something important holding him up. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Parker wouldn't miss my birthday. When I got back to the house, I discovered my father had already made it home from work. Bags of my favorite Chinese takeout were strewn across the kitchen island, a large cake box sitting right next to them.

"Ah-ah," Dad scolded as he came walking back into the kitchen holding a vase of gorgeous flowers, having caught me in the act of lifting the lid to see the cake. "No peeking. That's for after dinner."

"Aww, Daddy. You didn't have to do all this." I smiled as he put the vase down on the table and turned to give me a big hug.

"Are you kidding? My baby girl just turned eighteen. Of course I had to do something. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to pull off something bigger."

"Oh, Dad..." I squeezed him tighter and nuzzled my cheek into his chest. "This is absolutely perfect. I didn't want anything big anyway."

We pulled apart and began plating our food. "So, what did Parker do for you today?" he asked as we sat down and started eating.

My stomach clenched at the reminder of my unanswered texts. "We were supposed to meet on the beach after school but he never showed. I texted him but haven't heard anything back. I'm started to get a little worried."

"I'm sure everything's fine, honey. He probably just got held up."

I never shared with my father about Parker's mom, so I couldn't voice my concerns that something bad might have happened to her. In the months we'd been together, there had only been that one horrific episode, but I knew she still had bad days. I could only hope whatever it was that prevented Parker from meeting me down on the beach wasn't as bad as what I'd been building up in my mind.

Dad's deep voice pulled me from my worrying. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I got you a present."

"Daddy!" I admonished. "You already got me the cake and flowers. That's enough; you didn't have to do anything else."

Dropping his fork and scooting back in his chair, Dad reached into the pocket of his slacks and pulled out a shiny key ring. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to take it back to the dealership tomorrow. You know, since you don't want it."

With a squeal of joy, I jumped from my seat and snatched the key off my father's extended finger before running through the house and out the front door, his loud rumble of laughter following after me. A peel of excited shrieking that could have put Stella's to shame danced through the air as I caught sight of the silver Volkswagen CC sitting in our driveway.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Dad said as he came to stand behind me. I spun around and nearly tackled him to the ground as I hugged him. Despite the lingering worry over where Parker was, I had to admit it really _was_ a good birthday.

* * *

That night I made sure to leave my bedroom window unlocked, thinking Parker might sneak through since he hadn't made it in time for our sunset. The more time that passed, the worse my anxiety became. Finally, around eleven o'clock, I got a reply. It was short in nature, but it helped me to breathe a sigh of relief.

_Parker: Sorry about tonight, something came up. I'll see you in the morning._

I soothed myself by saying if something terrible had happened with his mother, he would have called.

_Me: Okay, hope everything's all right. Love you._

I locked my phone and dropped it on the bedside table. It wasn't until the next morning that I realized he never told me he loved me back.

* * *

_P arker: Can't take you to school today. Gotta go in early._

That text had caused my chest to seize the moment I read it. All morning long, my gut screamed at me that something wasn't right. When I finally made it to school, a sense of impending dread had taken over.

As I stood at my locker with Stella, I tried my best to appear calm as I scanned each person's face, looking for Parker.

"Sooooo, you gonna tell me what special surprise Parker had planned for you last night?" Stella asked with a wide grin.

"Um...something came up last night. He wasn't able to come over."

I tried to play it off as no big deal, but judging by the way Stella's brows dipped between her bright green eyes, she hadn't bought it.

"Is he okay?"

"I-I don't really know. I haven't talked to him. He texted this morning to say he couldn't take me to school, but I haven't seen him yet."

It was obvious from her expression that she was just as perplexed as I was. However, being the amazing friend she was, she tried her best to brush it aside. "I'm sure he'll have a perfectly good explanation. Besides, at least that gave you a chance to drive your new car!"

"This is true," I laughed. Just as I began to feel a little better, I caught sight of Parker's telltale swagger as he made his way down the hall. I let out a gasp at the sight of the bruises that marred his face.

_Not again._ I thought as my heart broke for him. I wanted to find his father and beat the ever-loving hell out of him. How could a man lay his hands on his one son? I didn't have to meet the elder Owens to know that I hated him with every fiber of my being.

"Oh, Parker," I sighed as he slowed to a stop in front of me. I lifted my hand to touch his face, but he pulled back at the last second. "Are you all right?" I asked, sympathy heavy in my voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We're gonna be late for class." He tried to step around me, but I grabbed hold of his arm, halting his progress.

"Hey, hold on." He turned and stared back at me with such impassiveness it sent a chill up my spine. "You're lying. Tell me what happened, please," I pleaded.

"Um...I'll just leave you guys alone," Stella said. When I cast my eyes in her direction, they held the same worry I knew was shining in mine. "See you in class."

The moment she disappeared down the hall, I turned back to Parker. His face a blank, emotionless mask. "What happened?"

He ran his hands through his hair roughly and pulled his lip ring between his teeth. We stood in silence, just looking at each other before Parker finally pulled me into a corner out of the way by my elbow.

"Look..." He ruffled his hair once again. "I just...I can't." For one split second, that blank expression dropped just long enough for me to see a flash of emotion cross his face. And what I saw scared me. He looked absolutely devastated.

"Parker." I stepped forward and placed my hand on his arm. He squeezed his eyes closed, as if in pain, before taking a step back...away from me.

"This isn't working for me anymore, Freya." His voice sounded thick as he spoke.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked in disbelief. "What's not working for you?"

"This," he said as he waved his hand between us. " _Us_. It's just not working. I don't want to do this anymore."

"You don't want to do this anymore," I repeated as the weight of his words finally began to sink in, ripping my insides to shreds in the process.

"Yeah." He nodded simply, like he hadn't just destroyed me with seven little words.

"Bullshit! Something happened and I want to know what the hell it was!" I was making a scene, and for the first time in my life I couldn't care less that I was the center of attention. I wanted...no, I _needed_ the truth from Parker before he did something that couldn't be undone. " _Please_ ," I begged. "Talk to me. What happened last night? Why did your father hit you? _Talk to me_!"

His eyes flitted around the hallways, looking almost panicked as he scanned the other students' faces. When he finally looked back at me, the emotion was gone. His brown eyes I'd fallen so in love with were dull and lifeless.

"It doesn't matter what happened last night. All you need to know is that I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be in a relationship, Freya. I'm done. I'm over it."

I couldn't breathe. There was no air in the hallway. Everyone standing around, watching the train wreck that was my relationship, had sucked it all up leaving me choking, gasping for breath.

"I'm sorry, gorgeous," he continued. The way he sounded so cavalier sliced another piece of flesh from my bones, making me hate the nickname I'd grown to love. "You're great and all, but it's just not fun for me anymore. Things just ran their course, and it's time to move on."

I felt like I was dying. Tears burned my eyes before finally breaking free to run down my cheeks. Parker cringed at the sight.

"I don't believe you," I insisted, refusing to accept his words as truth. I knew the boy in front of me better than anyone. I _knew_ him. He loved me. "I don't believe you!" I screamed. "What about everything you said, everything you shared with me. You're honestly going to stand there and tell me it meant nothing? You're lying! You're a fucking liar, Parker! Tell me the _truth_!"

His chest moved rapidly as his breathing became audible. He stood in silence for several seconds before putting the final nail in the coffin. "It doesn't matter what you believe. It's done. _We're_ done. Let it go and move on."

I couldn't formulate a response. He was lying, he had to be. I couldn't bring myself to believe a word he'd just said. But as he stepped around me and headed for class, it felt like something inside of me had just died.

# Chapter Eighteen

### Freya

News of the breakup spread through the school like wildfire. Rumors began to spread that Parker had broken up with me because I was bad in bed. And if that wasn't bad enough, Parker and Cassidy hadn't bothered to delay in revealing they'd gotten back together. The moment I walked into the lunchroom to see Cassidy firmly planted by his side, clinging to his arm, my stomach roiled. The bile rising up in my throat left a burning trail as I turned around and ran from the room. I barely made it to the bathroom before losing the contents of my stomach.

Every day after that, the colors Parker had given back to me faded more and more. The more time that passed after the breakup, it became harder and harder to hold out hope that he'd come back to me. Even seeing him with Cassidy couldn't convince me he was gone for good. Something had happened. There was a reason why he ended things so abruptly. I refused to believe he was happier with Cassidy than he had been with me. I watched him every single day to see those brown eyes, once so full of life, growing duller. She wasn't making him happy. So why was he doing this?

Every evening, I made the trek down to the beach, hoping and praying Parker would show up to watch the sunset with me, and every night I walked home alone, my heart tearing just a little more each time he didn't show.

As time progressed, Parker appeared to slide back into his role as king of the high school easily, with Cassidy at his side as the queen bee. While life seemed to flow smoothly for each of them, I became a pariah. I could no longer hope for the invisibility I'd so craved at the start of the school year. Being with Parker for as long as I had had made my name familiar with the entire student body. I was a social leper. With the exception of Stella and Michael, there wasn't a single soul in that school who granted me a kind word or look.

At first, I refused to believe Parker knew of any of the nasty pranks played on me on a daily basis, but just watching him among his 'friends' made it clear he led each and every one of them around by the collar. None of them so much as sneezed without his say-so. Hatred began to fester inside of me at that realization and, combined with my heartache, just breathing every day felt like an impossible feat. The only comfort I had was the fact that school was drawing to a close and I wouldn't have to see either of them every day. College acceptance letters had started coming in and with my GPA, I'd gotten into most of the places I'd applied. The idea of having options was a relief even though I still planned on staying close to my dad. My poor father had tried his best to console me but, like I'd imagine any single father to be, he was ill-prepared to handle my emotional breakdowns. But God love him, he still tried.

Stella was a rock as the months passed. She offered a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen...hell, she even offered up a litany of four-letter words to describe what a spineless asshole Parker had turned into. The day she cussed a blue streak from one corner of my bedroom to another was one I wouldn't forget in this lifetime. I never thought my Spritely Stella could get so keyed-up. Obviously, I'd been wrong. Not that I faulted her for her reaction. The situation most definitely called for every single nasty word in the English language. I would know; I was the one who lived through it, after all.

* * *

I slammed my locker shut as hard as I could, anger and shame at the pictures someone had taped inside of it causing my vision to cloud with tears. There were no crueler beings on the face of the Earth than teenagers. My locker had been filled with dozens of pictures of men and women having sex. Each image had step-by-step directions on how to pull off that certain position along with little notes in black marker stating that if I studied up, maybe I would be able to please my next boyfriend.

As soon as I turned away, I caught sight of Parker coming down the hall with Cassidy hanging off his arm, his merry band of sheep trailing behind them. Not wanting to risk further humiliation for being caught crying, I sought out refuge in the girls' bathroom. I locked myself into a stall, planning on waiting out until the last warning bell rang.

The sound of the bathroom door opening, followed by girlish giggling, had me pulling my legs up and curling my arms around them in an attempt to keep my presence from being known.

I could make out Brynn and Cassidy's voices as they talked about petty things like Prom and what parties to attend, all the while holding my breath to keep from making any noise. Just as my lungs began to burn with the need for air, their shoes started to clack against the floor, growing fainter as the bathroom door opened and shut, leaving me alone once again. I exhaled on a loud whoosh then slowly lowered my feet to the ground and pushed out of the stall. My relief, however, was short-lived as I came to a screeching halt at the sight of Cassidy leaning against the bathroom door, blocking my only means of escape. The smile on her face was purely predatory as she stared me down.

"It must really suck being so pathetic. I mean, really, did you actually think hiding in a bathroom stall was going to do you any good?"

I refused to cower to such a mean, heartless person. Clenching my hands into fists so she couldn't see them trembling, I steeled my spine and lifted my chin. "What do you want, Cassidy?"

"Oh, nothing much," she shrugged nonchalantly. "I just thought you should know the truth about your relationship with Parker," she said, putting air-quotes around the word _relationship_.

"There's nothing I need to know," I insisted. She couldn't possibly say anything that could hurt me anymore than I was already hurting.

"Really? So, you _don't_ want to know that Parker and I were still having sex the entire time you two were together?"

Time stopped. The edges of my vision began to blur as I stared in disbelief at the girl standing in front of me.

_No, no, no, no, no. It's not true._

It couldn't be true.

"You're lying," I hissed.

"Sorry to break it to you, sweetie, but you never meant anything to him. I tried warning you, but you just wouldn't listen. I told you he wouldn't stick around. He always comes back to me, no matter what. He used you, Freya. He gave you the sob story about his little brother and mom so you'd feel sorry for him. You were just a game to him."

"No," I whispered as I clenched my eyes against the tears stinging my eyes.

"We laughed our asses off when he told us how needy and helpless you were, always whining about your long-lost mommy."

My eyes snapped open, growing wide at her words.

"That's right. He went on and on about how annoying you were, how you bitched and moaned that your mommy died and your dad didn't love you enough. He even said that if you hadn't been so pathetic, maybe your dad wouldn't have ignored you for so long."

My whole body was shaking like a leaf. My heart yelled at me not to believe what she was saying, but my mind reminded me that Stella and Parker were the only ones who knew the truth about my parents. Stella never would have betrayed me like that; she hated Cassidy just as much as I did.

That left only one other person.

_Oh, God. I'm so stupid_.

All those months I'd told myself Parker would come around had been a joke. Any remaining hope fizzled and burned to ash the second those words passed Cassidy's lips. I'd been such an idiot. I'd loved him and he'd betrayed me.

"Please move." I was seconds away from losing it. I was about to break, and the last person I wanted to see me that way was her.

"Oh, look, she's about to cry," Cassidy chided.

" _Move_!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Thankfully, that time she listened. As soon as my way was clear, I ran from the bathroom at a full sprint. Loud sobs broke free from my chest as I rushed down the hall toward the nearest exit. Tears streamed down my face, impairing vision so I barely had time to catch myself from falling after turning the corner and crashing into a large figure.

"Freya?"

_Why me?_ I began crying even harder as I jerked my arms from Parker's grip. I tried to step around him but he cut me off, reaching for me once again.

"Don't touch me," I spit as I looked at him with every ounce of hate I had in me.

He flinched back but stayed in my path. "Are you all right? What happened?"

I brushed at the tears on my face and took another step to the side, only to be impeded once again. "None of your _fucking_ business. Move out of my way!"

"Please, gorgeous, just talk to me." He reached out to grab hold of my hand, but the sound of my nickname on his lips snapped what little restraint I had left.

" _Don't call me that!_ " I yelled.

"Freya, stop!" he shouted as I fought against his hold. "You're gonna hurt yourself. Just stop!"

"I hate you!" I seethed, pouring every ounce of hate and anger into those three words, hoping like hell they hurt him. "I hate you and I wish I'd never met you. I never want to see your face again!"

Parker stumbled back like I'd slapped him as a riot of emotions played on his face, but I didn't hang around long enough to see what they were. Ignoring the sound of him yelling my name, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, not stopping until I reached my car. It wasn't until I was in the safety of my home that I allowed the flood gates to open.

* * *

The sound of Stella's voice pulled me back from the memory. I sniffled and wiped the tears away as I looked up to see her pacing my room. "I can't believe he'd do something like that, Freya. I mean, I know he's a bastard, but that's taking it to a whole new level, even for him."

"Well, believe it," I replied dryly. "You and Parker are the only ones I told, so if it wasn't you..." I drug out, waiting for her response.

"Of course it wasn't me!"

"Then he's the only one, Stella."

She came over to where I sat on my bed and wrapped me in a hug. We sat quiet for several minutes as I continued to cry. Once I felt like I could speak without breaking down, I pulled back and gave her a small, sad smile.

"I just need to be alone right now."

"You sure?" she asked as she brushed the hair from my face.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll call you later tonight."

Reluctantly, she left my house, leaving me alone with the silence. Once I heard the front door shut, I reached over and opened my bedside table drawer, pulling the pamphlet out that had arrived in the mail a few days before. I studied over the papers for the next few hours. When I heard my father's car pull into the driveway, I slowly made my way down the stairs, documents in hand.

"What's the matter, baby girl?" he asked as soon as he stepped through the door, his features a blanket of concern as he took in my tear-streaked face.

"I need to talk to you," I answered in a wobbly voice.

"Come on, honey. Let's go sit down." I followed him into the living room and took a seat on the couch next to him, trying to keep from sobbing at the wary look in my father's eyes. "Tell me what's going on."

"I can't stay here, Daddy," I stuttered, losing my fight not to cry. "I know I told you I wanted to go to college locally to stay close to you, but I just can't stay here anymore. I can't be happy here."

My father's warm arms gathered around me and pulled me into his comforting embrace. "Shh, sweetheart," he cooed. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

"I'm s-so sorry," I choked. "I'm sorry, Dad."

He cupped my cheeks and lifted my face so I could look at him. "Freya, don't you _ever_ apologize for trying to find your happiness. I'd love nothing more than for you to stay close to me for the rest of your life, but if you don't think you can be happy here, then I want you to find that place where you can. I owe you this, sweetheart. You never once put up a fight when I packed our lives away and moved you all the way across the country. I'll stand by whatever decision you make. There's nowhere in the world that's too far away from me to visit you."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Where are you thinking about going?"

I pulled the papers from behind me and set them in my lap, the both of us looking down at the familiar seal at the top of my acceptance letter. A faint smile touched my father's lips as he ran his fingers over the three torches and interwoven banner.

His gaze finally returned to mine, a knowing look on his face as his own eyes clouded over with tears. "All right, baby girl. You follow your sunset."

I lunged for him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I love you so much, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Freya," he spoke against the top of my hair. "Never, _ever_ doubt that for a second."

# Chapter Nineteen

### Parker

I hated my life.

I hated my dad for everything he'd done. I hated that my mom wasn't able to let go of the past and get better. I hated having to pretend I could stand Cassidy touching me. But most of all, I hated having to look at the girl who held my heart every single day and see the brilliance of her blue eyes fade and dull as time passed. I wanted her back. I wanted to be able to hold her and touch her and kiss her. I wanted to be near her and let her make my world better. I wanted to make her eyes shine again.

Graduation day was supposed to be a happy day, but as I stood with my classmates, all of us decked out in bright, royal blue caps and gowns, I couldn't find it in myself to feel the same excitement as those around me. I'd spent the entire ceremony staring at the back of Freya's head, silently willing her to turn around so I could see her beautiful face. She never did. It felt like a cloud hung over me as I walked across that stage and accepted my diploma. I was going through the motions. In the enthusiastic chaos that followed the ceremony, I was able to duck out without Cassidy or anyone else spotting me. I drove home on autopilot, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and ignore the rest of the world.

My spine stiffened and my instincts went on high-alert the moment I pushed through the front door.

"Get out!" I heard my mom scream from the kitchen just before the sound of glass breaking echoed through the space. I rushed to the doorway just in time to see my father duck as she hurled another glass toward his head. "I said get out!" Mom screamed. "Go back to your whore!"

Oh, God. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. She knew. After everything I'd done to protect her, she knew. "Mom, please," I tried to coax at the same time my father spoke up. "Jesus Christ, Martha. Calm the hell down! It's not what you think—"

"Don't tell me it's not what I think. I know what I saw!" she yelled back. "Get the hell out of my house. I want a divorce!"

"Fine!" Dad bellowed as he stepped over the broken glass. "I don't need this shit anyway." He shoved past me and out of the kitchen. Seconds later, I heard the front door slam and the sound of his tires spitting up gravel as he took off. What had just happened? I felt like I'd just walked into an alternate universe.

The sound of my mother's sobs yanked me back into reality as I went to her and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. "Shh," I soothed into her hair. "It's okay. It'll be okay." I wasn't sure who I said those words for, me or her. After everything I'd done to prevent her from finding out about my father's cheating, it still hadn't been enough. Terror ran through me at the thought of what she was going to do.

I led her from the kitchen into the living room, sitting with her on the couch as her sobs slowly tapered off. When she'd finished crying, she pulled back and looked at me. Even with red rims from crying, I saw something in her eyes I hadn't expected...determination.

"I'm not going to break," she spoke sincerely. "I need a lot of help, Parker, but I'm not going to break. I promise you that."

* * *

I spent hours holding my crying mother as we spoke of what needed to be done. At the end of it all, I helped her to her bedroom and gave her a sleeping pill so she'd be able to get some rest. I descended the stairs once I was sure she was out for the night. Weary from the day's events, I ran my hands over my face roughly as I stepped into the kitchen and stared out the large windows at the water. The sun had begun to lower, the sky blanketed in deep oranges and yellows as the day pushed to an end. It was right then that it hit me. My mom knew the truth. She knew and she was going to be okay.

With a renewed sense of hope, I pulled the back door open and rushed from the house. It was as though my feet knew where to carry me without my brain having to form a coherent thought. With each step toward that beach... _our_ beach, I sent up prayers that she'd be there, that she'd hear me out, let me explain why I'd done everything I had. My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I ran down the path. I breathed my first real breath the moment my feet hit the sandy beach. She sat on our log, bathed in the last rays of daylight. My heart. My world. She was so damn beautiful it made me ache.

"Freya." My voice came out rough and gravelly as I spoke her name. I wanted to rush her and wrap her in my arms, but the closed-off expression that took over her face once the surprise faded away told me I needed to keep my distance.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

She turned her back on me, staring out at the darkening water as she replied, "There's nothing left to say. I want you to leave."

Desperation took over and I couldn't stay back. Walking to her, I crouched down and took her hands in mine. "I can't do that, gorgeous. Please don't ask me to."

She tried pulling away, but I held on like my life depended on it. It _did_ depend on it. "Don't touch me," she seethed, fighting against me. "Parker, let me go!"

" _Please_." My voice was hoarse as I begged. I let go of her hands just long enough to cup her cheeks in my hands. "Please. You have to let me explain, baby. You have to. I'm so sorry I hurt you, but I had a reason—"

"I don't care!" she screamed as she slapped my hands away and scurried from the log. I rose to my full height and reached for her again, only to have her step back. "I don't care what your reasons were. I don't care that you're sorry. _I don't care!_"

I was in her space in a blink of an eye, my hands clenched into fists at my sides to prevent me from grabbing hold of her. "You have to let me explain!"

"I don't _have_ to do anything! We're done, Parker. You said that yourself. I'm not your girlfriend _or_ your friend. I don't owe you a damn thing."

God, why did she have to be so stubborn?

My breathing was erratic, my chest rose and fell as I tried to hold on to my rapidly deteriorating control. "You _are_ mine! You gave yourself to me, no one else. You said it yourself."

"And you ruined it!" Tears broke free and ran down her cheeks, each one gutting me as they fell. "I loved you and you ruined it! You betrayed me. I'll never forgive you for what you did, Parker. I'm leaving this god-forsaken place and I'm never looking back."

"What? No!"

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Everything was all wrong. She wasn't supposed to leave me. She was supposed to stay in Sommerspoint and forgive me. She was _mine_ , goddamn it! She couldn't leave!

"Come tomorrow morning, I'm gone." Each word she spoke undid me. "I'm leaving and I never want to see you again."

"You can't leave." I choked on the words as my own tears broke free. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We were supposed to be together. There was a _reason_ we found each other. "Please don't leave me, Freya. _Please_."

I watched on in misery as she steeled her spine and lifted her chin after brushing the tears from her cheeks. "It's done."

As she turned and walked away, something inside me broke. I couldn't breathe; the pain I felt was more potent, more overwhelming than anything I'd ever felt before. As I fell to my knees on our beach, I turned my head just long enough to see that purple and blue sky fade to black. In that moment, alone on the beach in darkness, I let the silent tears fall for everything I'd lost in my life. The night wrapped around me, cloaking my world in black once again.

I hung my head and closed my eyes, letting myself feel the loss of Freya...

My heart.

My world.

# Part Two

SCATTERED COLORS

# Chapter Twenty

### Parker

_T wo years later_

* * *

"Hey, Mom. I'm home?" Dropping my books by the front door, I headed into the living room where my mom was sitting, placing a kiss on the top of her head before turning toward the kitchen. I needed a beer like nobody's business. Between work, classes, missing Freya constantly, and the never-ending concern for my mother's wellbeing, I felt like I was standing in a sinking boat, trying desperately to keep it from taking on any more water and failing miserably.

"Hi, sweetie." She smiled up at me, looking better than she had in a really long time.

"You look good, Mom. You have a good day?"

"I did, honey. It was a very good day. But I need you to have a seat. We need to talk."

"What's going on?" I asked as I sat next to her, concern taking a firm hold of my insides and twisting them in knots. "Is everything okay?"

"No, honey. Everything isn't okay, and that's my fault, but I'm hoping like hell that it's not too late to fix things."

"What are you talking about?" Her ominous words did nothing to uncoil the dread sitting heavily in the pit of my stomach.

"I've been a horrible mother..." When I opened my mouth to argue, her hand came up, effectively silencing me. "It's true. I let Toby's death destroy me so badly that I lost sight of the fact that I had another son who needed me. The things you've seen, the things you've had to do..." Her voice broke at the end as tears welled up in her eyes. I wanted to comfort her, tell her none of this was necessary, that she didn't need to apologize because I understood, but she pushed through. "No child should ever have to take care of a parent, Parker. No child should have to shield their mother from all of the bad in the world; it's supposed to be the other way around. And the things you had to live through...I'll never be able to apologize enough. I let you down, sweetie. I failed you when I should have been there for you, and I'll spend the rest of my life regretting what I've put you through these last five years."

"Mom, you don't have to—"

"Please," she interrupted. "Please just let me say this, okay?" I closed my mouth and nodded. "I'm so very sorry for everything I've put you through." My mother's tears finally broke free, falling down her cheeks as she took my hands in hers. "I know you've given up a lot for me and I'm so thankful that I have you, but it's time for that to stop. It's time for me to start doing what's best for you, Parker."

"I don't understand. What brought all of this on?"

Reaching beneath one of the throw pillows, she pulled out the stack of papers I'd kept hidden in the drawer of my bedside table; papers that were worn and wrinkled from years of handling.

"You know, I've always wondered just how much you've given up in order to protect me from the things you were afraid I couldn't handle."

"Mom, I..." the knot in my throat made it nearly impossible to speak. "I did what I had to. You needed me. I don't regret it or hold it against you. After what happened..." I had to clear my throat against a lump which threatened to choke me at the reminder of that horrible day. "After that day...I couldn't just leave you. I can't," I insisted adamantly. "We're all each other has."

"I know I haven't been there for you when you needed me, but I saw how everything that happened with Toby changed you. I saw how lost you were. I was so thankful when that girl moved in next door because I finally saw my son, my Parker coming back, but then she left and your spark disappeared with her."

"I did what I had to do," I spoke softly, brokenly.

"Oh, honey." Mom's hands squeezed mine with more strength than I ever knew she had. "And now I'm doing what I need to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I filled out your transfer papers and sent them in."

I sat speechless for several seconds, my jaw hanging open before I finally shot up from the couch. "You _what_?"

"What's the expression kids your age use? Oh, yeah. It's time to shit or get off the pot, Parker. I simply sped the process along."

"I can't...I'm just..." I was speechless. "I can't leave you all by yourself—"

She held up her hand to cut me off. "I'm not by myself, Park. I have friends I see on a regular basis. I have a life. I know that first year was hard and I leaned on you for a lot, but I've been seeing Dr. Crowley for two years now, honey. She and I have already talked about this. I'm in a good place. I'm happy, really and truly _happy_. There will never be a day when I don't miss your brother like crazy, but I'm not letting it define me anymore. It's your turn now, sweetheart."

Reaching up, my mom cupped my cheek in her soft hand. "I want you to be happy, honey. If this..."she lifted the papers in her hand. "...is where you need to be to be happy again, then I want you to go."

Looking down at the Florida State University paperwork in her hand, I shook my head as sorrow set in. "It's been too long, Mom. She hates me."

"My sweet boy," she murmured lovingly. "Then change her mind."

"It's not that simple. I went to find her the night you left Dad. I tried so damn hard to explain but she wouldn't listen. It's over, Mom. It's too late." I thought back to that night on the beach and recalled the hurt in those gorgeous blue eyes. I'd watched the wall I'd worked tirelessly to break down fall back into place with just one sentence.

"Then make it right."

"How?" I croaked.

"That's something you'll have to figure out on your own, my sweet boy. But I'm here for you no matter what. If you love that girl then get her back. Do anything and everything you have to. Just don't give up."

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

My cellphone began going off in my purse as I hurried through campus toward the parking lot. Pulling it out, a happy grin spread across my face at the number on my screen.

"Spritely Stella!" I cheered in lieu of hello.

"Birthday girl!" she shouted back. "How's it going, baby cakes?"

"Oh, you know, running late as usual."

"Ooooh, Piper's going to kick your ass," Stella joked. She knew as well as I did that my roommate had no qualms about giving me crap if I caused a delay in the start of her fun-filled night. I met Piper as soon as I got to Florida. We'd been assigned as roommates freshman year and hit it off instantly. She was exactly what I needed to help me through the dark I'd been struggling with when I first arrived. Sassy, to the point, and with as much energy as an entire cheerleading squad, she quickly became my "Florida Stella". Whenever I got to the point where I really began to miss my fiery little redhead, Piper was there to pull me out of my funk. Between her and Stella, I had the best support network a girl could ever ask for.

"Oh, whatever," I huffed as I climbed into my car, pulling the phone from my ear as the Bluetooth kicked in. "We're going out for _my_ birthday anyway. I can be late if I wanna."

"Ah," Stella's voice rang through my car speakers as I pulled out of the parking lot, speeding toward my apartment complex. "Is someone feeling pouty that her BFF isn't there for her birthday?" she teased. Stella had made several trips down to Florida for the past two years, making sure at least one trip was specifically for my birthday. This year, however, she had to delay her trip by a week and I was starting to miss her like crazy."

"It's all your stupid boyfriend's fault," I grumbled, earning a tinkling of laughter from my friend.

"That's _fiancé_ now. Get it right." I smiled to myself at the reminder that my best friend was engaged to the love of her life. Some people thought they were rushing into things seeing as they were only twenty, but I didn't have a doubt in my mind that they'd last. As Stella said, when you know, you know. And she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Michael. I couldn't have been happier for Stella. She was over the moon.

"Yeah, yeah. It's all Michael's fault. He just _had_ to schedule the movers for this weekend. He couldn't have waited to live in sin for one more week?" I joked.

"What can I say? I got it going on. He couldn't wait a second longer to tie me down."

"Well, you can tell him I said he owes me. I accept payment in the form of chocolate. If he doesn't send you down here with a box full of sweets next week, I'll never forgive him."

"I'll make sure he knows." I could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke. "And just a heads-up, we're totally going shopping for bridesmaids dresses while I'm there. I'm thinking taffeta and florescent colors." Her voice grew deep with her pathetic attempt at an evil laugh. We talked for a few more minutes before I pulled into the parking lot of my complex.

"Have fun tonight, Freya. You're a twenty-year-old college student. Go out and act like it, damn it. Make questionable choices and drink too much."

"Yes, Mother," I laughed.

"Love you, sweets. I'll see you in a week."

"Love you back," I said before I hung up and climbed from my car.

As I rounded the landing of the second level on the way to my and Piper's third floor apartment, I could hear the sounds of deep, masculine voices carrying across the breeze way.

"Feisty Freya!" I came around the corner just in time to see Caleb, our neighbor and Piper's boyfriend, drop a stack of boxes at his feet. He rushed, wrapping me in a big bear hug just like he did every time I saw him. "How's it going, birthday girl?"

"It's good," I wheezed as he lifted me off the ground, my feet swinging side to side as he rocked me. "Can't breathe, Caleb."

"Sorry, shorty," he chuckled as he placed me back on my feet. "You know I can't help myself."

I brushed my hair out of my face and looked up into Caleb's smiling hazel eyes, saying the same thing I'd been saying for the past two years. "I'm not short, you're just freakishly tall." And he was. Caleb stood right around 6'4 and was all long, lean muscles from his years of running and swimming. Seeing him and Piper together took some getting used to. They were complete opposites. Caleb was big and tall while everything about Piper was short and petite. But I honestly couldn't picture her with anybody else. Caleb was a gigantic teddy bear.

"What's going on here?" I asked as I pointed to all the boxes lining the breezeway outside his apartment door.

"Ah, new roommate's moving in today."

"Another one?" I asked in bafflement. "Eddy only _just_ moved out, like, a week ago."

That was another thing I loved about Caleb. He was incapable of meeting anyone who didn't instantly become a friend. Everyone who met him loved him. In the time Piper and I had been living together, Caleb had probably had about six roommates. Every time one left, there was another one right around the corner.

"What can I say, I get lonely," he replied with a wink. "And with you and Pipe wrapped around each other's little fingers, I can't get her to agree to move in with me. Gotta have someone to cuddle with on those long, cold nights."

My head tipped back in laughter as he smirked. "Does your new roomie know what he's in store for once the sun goes down?"

"Not yet." Caleb winked again. "He's in for a pleasant surprise."

"You're still coming out tonight, right? You better not miss it, Caleb, or so help me...I'll have Piper kick your ass!"

Caleb reached down and bopped my nose. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Feisty Freya. It'll be a little later, but I'll be there. Hey. You want to meet the new guy?

Standing on my tiptoes, I waited for him to lean down to my level so I could plant a kiss on his cheek. "Nah, I'm already late. I have to get upstairs before your girlfriend starts raining holy Hell down on me. But bring him to the club tonight."

"All right, sweetheart. I'll see you later."

I rushed up the stairs and pushed my front door open as quietly as possible, hoping I could sneak into my bedroom without Piper hearing.

No such luck.

"You're late!"

Dropping my bags on the couch, I rolled my eyes as I responded, "I know, I know. I got held up on campus."

"Always with the excuses." Piper stepped from the hall where the two bedrooms were. Our apartment was small, but cozy. The living room and kitchen were both open, only a bar area separating the space with a small dining nook off to the side. Down the one and only hallway were both bedrooms and the common bathroom. The master bedroom had an attached bath so when we didn't have guests, the hall bath was all mine.

I took in Piper's tight black leggings, brightly patterned, sleeveless tunic and sky-high ankle boots. It always amazed me how she was able to walk in heels so high, but she refused to wear flats, claiming vertically challenged women should always were at least four extra inches on their feet. Her short, honey-blonde hair was styled to perfection and, as usual, her makeup was flawless. The dark, smoky color of her eye shadow highlighted her caramel-colored eyes beautifully.

"You're already two shots behind," she called as she scurried into the kitchen. I could hear glass clinking against the countertop and had to suppress a cringe at the thought of downing tequila so early on in the night. "Move your ass! We're not leaving this apartment until you're good and buzzed."

"Doesn't getting sloppy drunk before the night even begins kind of defeat the purpose?"

"I never said sloppy drunk, I said _buzzed_. Is it my fault that after all our years of friendship, you still can't hold you liquor? And besides, I already promised Stell I wouldn't let you come home without making out with _at least_ one dude tonight. And I'm _such_ a good friend that I plan on staying sober just to make sure you don't pick an ugo."

I lifted one of the shot glasses to my mouth and downed it, the tequila burning a path down my throat before entering my belly. God, I really hated that stuff. "You and Stella being friends should be outlawed. I'm not making out with some random in the middle of a club."

"Are, too," Piper bossed as she lifted the last shot glass to my lips. "Now drink. We have a full night of drunken debauchery ahead."

With the last shot down, I narrowed my watery eyes playfully. "And to think my dad believes you're such a good influence."

"That's because your dad has good taste. You're lucky I love you so much. You should be thankful."

"Should I tell him you got me a fake ID for my birthday?" I giggled as the alcohol began to loosen me up.

"I'll deny it 'til the day I die," she teased. "Who you think he's gonna believe? You or the pre-law?" I stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully for a few seconds before heaving a defeated sigh. She was totally right. "Yeah, uh-huh. That's what I thought," she snickered.

Over the past couple of years, my dad had held true to his promise and visited me as much as possible, never hesitating to hop on a plane when I needed him. Even with miles and miles between us, we were able to build on the foundation of our relationship, making something that was even stronger than before my mother passed. I missed him tremendously. I knew I'd be able to see him more if I made trips to Sommerspoint, considering my schedule was much more flexible than his, but even after all this time, I still couldn't bring myself to set foot inside that town. Guilt ate away at me on a regular basis even though he insisted he understood.

After leaving for college, I'd never been back. For me, the only good that came from that place was my relationship with my father and Stella. Everything else had been stripped away by the one boy I'd been stupid enough to fall in love with. Time passed and my heart began to heal, but it carried more scars than it had before. I was wary of who I gave pieces of myself to, and being in a relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. Maybe over time I'd be able to face the town I used to live in without the constant fear of seeing his face again. However, it was not that day.

I felt weak, cowardly when it came to the thought of seeing Parker again, and I hated myself for allowing him to take so much from me. But I couldn't do anything about it right then. There was no use in dwelling on the past, not when I had so much to be thankful for in the present. I had my dad and my friends. I had a bright future in front of me full of love and color, and I'd achieved that without placing my happiness in someone else's hands.

"Get a move on, girly," Piper demanded with a swift smack to my butt. "Get cleaned up and changed. The night is young, and we've some living to do!"

* * *

My body moved in an easy rhythm as Calvin Harris' "Outside" pounded through the speakers. Piper kept her hand firmly in mine as we danced together, wrapped up in the sea of bodies on the dance floor. I lost track of how much time had passed since we walked through the doors of Hurricane, the new 'it' place to be among the FSU students. The music was loud and the drinks were flowing, and just like Piper had demanded, I was well past buzzed and quickly on my way to full-on drunk. A bead of sweat traveled down my spine as I danced and laughed without a single care in the world. Life was good.

"I need a drink!" I shouted over the thumping bass so Piper could hear me. "Let's take a break!"

She nodded and pointed over my shoulder. "Everyone's here anyway!"

We made our way off the floor to the table Caleb and a few other friends had managed to commandeer near the dance floor.

"Nice moves, Feisty Freya," Caleb said as he pulled me into a big hug. "Although, I'd been hoping you two would grind on each other a little more."

I laughed and began passing out hugs to the rest of the group which had finally filed in as Piper reached over to smack her boyfriend on the back of the head. Most of them were little more than associates, but they were nice people and I always had a good time when we hung out, so I was glad they came.

"So, where's your new roommate?" I called out as I scanned our little table for an unfamiliar face.

"He's at the bar, said this round's on him."

"Ooh, I like him already."

Piper took a seat on Caleb's lap while I plopped down in an empty chair across from them. "So, the plan is to get Freya drunk enough to make out with some strange guy tonight," Piper leaned in to tell Caleb. He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow, his hazel eyes full of humor. "I think I've gotten her pretty far along, but I'm counting on you to help me push her the rest of the way."

"Anything for you, baby," he told her before planting a loud, smacking kiss on her lips.

I glared across the table at my so-called friends. "I hate you guys, you know that?"

"Oh, you love us. Don't deny it," Piper said with a casual wave of her hand before her eyes suddenly grew huge at the sight of something over my shoulder. "Oh, sweet holy hell. I think I found your make-out buddy for the night, Freya. Seriously, I think my insides just quivered a little bit."

"And that would be my new roommate," Caleb deadpanned as he scowled at Piper.

"What? Oh, come on, baby. You have to admit, the guy is hot."

"I'll admit no such thing, woman!"

"But I'm still totally crazy stupid in love with you."

"That's better." Caleb planted a kiss on the tip of her nose before turning around to address everyone. "Guys, I want you to meet my new roommate..."

I turned my head to get a look at the guy Piper was all but swooning over when the world stopped all of a sudden. It was like the screech of a record as the sight and sound of everyone around me came to a halt. I tried to suck in a panicked breath as I met those familiar deep, dark eyes, but it was as though every ounce of oxygen had been sucked from the building. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't form one functioning sentence as I stared in wide-eyed disbelief.

This couldn't be happening.

I clenched my eyes shut against the onslaught of emotions racing through me, hoping and praying it was just the alcohol in my system playing tricks on me. I refused to let myself believe that he was really standing in front of me, but at the sound of his deep raspy voice, I knew I was screwed.

"Hey there, gorgeous."

# Chapter Twenty-One

### Parker

Her voice.

God, I felt her voice throughout my entire body, like a recovering addict who had just relapsed. Except I wasn't recovering. I'd spent the last two years up to my neck in my addiction to Freya, refusing to let it go, to let _her_ go completely. As I stood in the living room of my new apartment clutching a box of my belongings to my chest, my heart was beating so loudly I was certain my new roommate and the girl who owned my world could hear it from outside. I stood there, frozen by the fact that the person I came so many miles for was just outside my door, only feet away from me.

It couldn't have been a coincidence that we were so close. I refused to believe that. Not when Freya taught me that everything in life happened for a reason. There was a reason why Caleb's ad for a roommate was the first one I'd run across in my search for an apartment. There was a reason why everything fell into place so seamlessly and why the two of us hit it off so well. And that reason was the girl standing outside the front door right then. I could hear her laughter echoing from the breezeway and that beautiful melodic sound set fire to my blood, stoking the flames of my need for her that had been smoldering beneath the surface for so long.

It took every ounce of willpower I had in me not to drop the box in my hands and rush to her, hold her so tightly she could never get away. I knew my arrival would more than likely be an unwelcome one, but I had spent years preparing myself for this very moment...or so I thought.

Every speech I had prepared in my head went up in a puff of smoke with just the sound of her voice. I couldn't remember anything past my incessant need to touch her, _feel_ her. I couldn't see her yet. I needed time to formulate a plan. I should have been bracing myself against the fallout that was bound to occur once she finally saw me. But I couldn't let myself think like that. I couldn't allow myself to believe there was any other possible conclusion than us being together. For two miserable fucking years, I'd been living in darkness, my life a black hole that had sucked me down into its abyss. I wasn't living if I didn't have her; I was barely existing. And it wasn't enough, not anymore.

Not ever again.

"Hey, man, you just gonna stand there all day or you planning on actually moving your shit in?"

I'd been so lost in thought I hadn't heard Caleb come back into the apartment. Luckily, he was alone.

"Sorry, just got a little sidetracked, I guess. Heard you talking to someone out there, that a neighbor?" I asked, hoping like hell it came off casual. I couldn't help myself. I was desperate to know anything and everything about Freya in the years I'd lost her.

"Oh, yeah. That was Freya. She lives upstairs with my girlfriend." A warm smile took over his face as he spoke. "Those two together are volatile, man. I'm telling you. You get on one's bad side and you'll have both to answer to."

That didn't exactly bode well for me. I already knew I was going to have my work cut out for me when it came to Freya. I couldn't imagine how much worse it was going to be with her best friend at her back.

"That sounds a little ominous," I hedged, eager to keep the conversation going, needing to lean anything and everything I could.

"Nah, not really. Piper's a handful, but I got no problems keeping my grip on her. And Freya's fantastic, really. They're just protective of each other. Piper more so. When Freya first moved here, she was a wreck. I'm talking full-on disaster. It took a while for Pipe to get in there and get her to open up, but once she did, those two became joined at the hip."

My stomach dropped as unimaginable sadness washed over me. I'd done that to her. I was the reason she was a disaster when she moved here. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate myself any more than I did right at that moment.

"We're actually going out tonight for her birthday once I get you all moved in," Caleb continued, thankfully oblivious to my fluctuating mood. "She said to bring you along if you're up for it."

"Yeah," I answered a little too eagerly. I quickly cleared my throat and tried to cover my excitement with an impassive expression. "Yeah, sounds good."

"Cool. Well then, let's get the rest of your stuff. I'm going to need a drink after this."

He wasn't the only one.

* * *

I could see her.

I stood at the edge of the dance floor completely mesmerized by the seductive sway of her hips as she moved, the way her eyes closed as she danced with abandon. Christ, she still had the power to steal my breath. She looked so different yet just as beautiful as the day I'd met her. Gone was the seventeen-year-old girl I'd fallen in love with. Freya Linden had turned into a woman, a gorgeous, curvy, intoxicating woman. Her hair was much shorter than I remembered, barely passing her shoulders, but the silky chestnut color still shined with hints of red under the lights. My palms itched and my fingers trembled with the need to touch her. I was seconds away from charging onto that floor just so I could wrap her in my arms and feel those full, smiling lips pressed against mine.

Jesus, just watching her dance had my body responding in ways it only ever responded to Freya. I felt myself getting harder the longer I stared, the zipper of my jeans pressing uncomfortably against my growing erection. The need to bury myself in her tight, warm body was almost palpable. I'd never needed a woman in my life the way I needed Freya.

Just as I took a step forward her eyes popped open and what I saw stopped me in place. Those dazzling azure eyes of her were lit up like a Christmas tree, so full of laughter and light my heart momentarily stalled in my chest. I never thought I'd see those blue eyes again, but to see them so full of life was an answer to every single one of my prayers. She was happy. Thank God, she was happy. Even though I'd lived a pathetic, miserable existence since the day she left, I had always hoped that wherever she was, she was truly happy.

Caleb's hand on my shoulder jolted me from my reverie and back into the jam-packed club. "Dude, first round's on you since I helped you move."

I laughed. "You got it. What am I ordering?"

"Bud for me, margarita for Pipe, and a G&T for Freya."

With a lift of my chin, I headed in the direction of the bar, the whole way lamenting the fact that I wouldn't have been able to guess my girl's drink preference while Caleb probably knew things about her that I didn't. I hated that. I couldn't stand that I no longer knew Freya better than anyone else. What else was there that I needed to learn about her? Just how much—if any—had she changed over the last few years?

My mood darkened somewhat as I sidled up to the bar and shuffled my way to the front, lifting a hand to get the bartender's attention.

"What can I get you, handsome?" the pretty redhead asked in a low, husky voice as she leaned over the bar, putting her cleavage on display. Every guy within a few feet of her reacted accordingly...everyone but me that was. As I rattled off my drink order, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander back over to the dance floor where I last saw Freya dancing with her tiny, blonde friend. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the two of them clasp hands and begin winding their way through the other dancers, heading straight for the table I'd just walked away from. It seemed like I stood at that bar for an eternity waiting on our drinks. Freya was only yards away from me. I was only moments away from speaking to her for the first time in years.

My body began to shake with adrenaline as the bartender lined up my drinks, shooting me a coy smile. All I could manage in return was a simple lift of the chin before slapping a couple bills down and grabbing my order, trying desperately not to spill anything as my hands trembled uncontrollably. Sucking in a deep breath through my nose, I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled slowly. Several seconds later, I'd somehow miraculously managed to get myself under control.

Every step toward Freya was like a step back into the light. Somehow, I managed not to trip and fall on my face as she reached back and brushed her much shorter hair over her shoulder, exposing the creamy expanse of her neck. My jaw ticked as I clenched my teeth together.

_Another step._

Her little blonde friend's eyes traveled from Freya and landed on me, growing wide before she mumbled something I couldn't hear.

_Another step_.

Caleb leaned in and kissed the tip of his girlfriend's nose.

_Another step._

Freya's laughter rang out, the sound music to my ears, drowning out the steady thump of the club music.

_Another step_.

Caleb lifted his head in my direction, "Guys, I want you to meet my new roommate..." but I couldn't pay attention to a single word he said. Just then, my world turned around in her chair, flashing those bright blue eyes at me and, for the first time in two years, I could breathe again. I could hear the shallow gasp as shock spread across her face. I always imagined what I'd say to her the first time I saw her, but when I opened my mouth every apologetic, pleading word I'd played over in my mind disappeared. I was struck dumb with just one look. She'd knocked me senseless in the blink of an eye, so I said the only thing that came to mind.

"Hey there, gorgeous."

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

My brain and body disengaged from each other, neither knowing how to handle the fact that Parker Owens was standing in front of me. I shot up from my chair only to stand frozen in place. I couldn't think of a single coherent thing to say other than the wheezed, "Parker," that passed my lips. The sound of my own frantic heartbeat pounded in my ears, drowning out the voices and music around me. I had to have been losing my mind. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't until he took a step closer and uttered the words that completely undid me that I was able to function once again.

"God, gorgeous. I've missed you."

"Stop," I breathed as I took a step back, away from his outreached hand, trying my hardest not to notice the look of longing in his expressive eyes.

"Freya—"

"No!" I yelled, slapping my hands over my ears to keep his voice out. I couldn't let myself hear it. That deep, gravelly voice sent a familiar shock through my system and I couldn't risk hearing it anymore.

"Freya? Are you okay?" I heard the worry in Piper's voice just as she reached up to pull my hands down. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my blurry vision as I turned and looked down at the concern in my friend's whisky-colored eyes but couldn't find the words to placate her. I wasn't okay. I was so far from okay I was in a completely different stratosphere.

I turned back to Parker. "Why the hell are you here, Parker?"

"Wait...your ex?" Piper cut in but I couldn't respond. I was too focused on the man standing in front of me.

"Why are you _here_?" I demanded.

"Gorgeous, _please_..."

"Stop calling me that." I had to shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotion at just seeing him again.

"What's going on?" Caleb asked, coming around the table to stand with the rest of us.

It felt like Parker's eyes were burning into me, able to see every single thing I was feeling inside just like the first time we met.

"Freya, please," Parker pleaded. "Can we just talk...please?"

"This can't be happening," I mumbled to myself, raking my hands through my hair. "You can't be here. My life is good, Parker. I'm finally happy! Why the hell did you come here?" Hot tears burned the backs of my eyes and I began to pace. It felt like everything I'd worked for had been stripped away. All of a sudden, I was that sad girl back in Sommerspoint with a crushed heart. I hated that I allowed that sad, broken girl to be resurrected by just the sight of him. I was stronger than that, damn it!

"I came here for you," he answered softly. "I transferred here to be near you."

"You...what? You _transferred_?" I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "No. No. You know what, Parker? I'm not doing this. Not now...not with you. My life is good," I repeated, swallowing down the golf ball-sized lump that had formed in my throat. "I'm finally in a good place. I won't let you take that from me!"

I felt Piper's hand grab hold of my elbow, pulling me to her. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get out of here."

"Freya, wait!" Parker tried as Piper led me past him, but I didn't stop. I needed to get out of that club. I couldn't be there for another second.

Piper let go of my arm and spun around, blocking Parker's path to me. "Leave her the hell alone, asshole! You've done enough damage." She took hold of me once again and led me out of the dark, packed club. Once we stepped outside, I sucked in some much needed air.

My world had just turned upside-down and I couldn't process what had just happened. As Piper and I climbed into the back of a cab, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to just curl up in bed and fall asleep. I kept telling myself I'd wake up in the morning and discover it had all just been a bad dream, that Parker wasn't really in Florida, threatening the serenity of the peaceful little life I'd created for myself.

I repeated the lie over and over, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince myself that it was the truth.

# Chapter Twenty-Two

### Parker

"What the fuck, dude? Are you kidding me?" Caleb yelled, stepping into my space so we were almost nose to nose.

Raising my hands in a placating gesture, I took a step back. I could appreciate Caleb's concern, but he didn't understand. "Look, man, I had no clue she even lived in the same complex until today. Hell, I didn't even know you guys were friends. I swear."

In the short time I'd known him, Caleb seemed like a pretty laid-back guy, so the fact that he looked about five seconds from breaking my face really spoke to how much he cared about Freya. "Listen," I cajoled. "I'm not here to make any trouble, honestly. Yes, I came to Florida for Freya but, hand to God, I didn't know you two were neighbors. I'm not here to hurt her, man. You have to believe that."

He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly "This is seriously fucked-up. You realize that, right?"

"I do, and I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of this. I'll try my damnedest not to suck you in any more than you already are, but I can't leave her again, Caleb."

He stared at me for several second, like he was weighing just how serious I was before finally shaking his head. "I swear to God, you screw with that girl and I'll kill you myself."

"I'm not going to, I swear."

"Christ," he groaned out. "Piper's gonna kill me."

* * *

As I lay in bed later that night, staring up at the ceiling wondering if Freya was right above me at that very moment, I couldn't help but think about the drastic twists and turns my life had made in the past six months. After talking with Mom, I'd let myself be convinced that my relationship with Freya was salvageable, that if I worked hard enough and laid it all on the line she'd come back to me.

Mom had made it sound so simple. I left Sommerspoint for Florida feeling alive for the first time in two years, the hope of getting my heart back still fresh in my mind. But the devastation I'd seen on Freya's face sliced through me like a knife. It was going to take so much more than an apology just to get her to speak to me. I wasn't sure if forgiveness was something I'd ever get from her.

But like my mom had said, I wasn't going to give up. No matter what...I wasn't giving up.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

You knew a headache was going to be bad when your eyeballs throbbed before you even opened your eyes. It felt like someone had spent the night tap dancing on my skull, but that wasn't even as bad as the roiling nausea. Unfortunately, neither the headache nor the nausea was enough to drown out what had happened the night before. I still managed to recall—in great clarity—the disastrous run-in with Parker and the emotion upheaval it had caused. I could honestly say I'd never had a hangover so bad in my life. Even the soft knock at my door was enough to make me cringe, sending sharp spikes through my brain.

"Ugh, go away," I groaned as I rolled over and shoved my head under my pillow.

The sound of the door opening told me Piper wasn't to be deterred—not that I actually expected her to.

"Sorry, cupcake. No can do. Up and at 'em. I got your hangover cure-all."

I tired shuffling further under the covers, but it was pointless. In one fell swoop, Piper yanked the covers off the bed, the air-conditioning in my room causing goose bumps to break out on my skin.

"You suck," I grumbled from under my pillow seconds before it disappeared, as well.

"Wakey, wakey. Hands off snakey," she chirped happily, obviously enjoying my misery.

Sitting up, I pushed my tangled hair from my eyes and glared. "I'm pretty sure that's not how that saying goes."

"My version's better. Now eat this."

She thrust a plate under my nose and I immediately recoiled as the smell of food hit my stomach. "Oh, God. I think I'm going to be sick. What is that?"

"Sausage, egg and cheese biscuit, extra greasy. Trust me, you need the grease. It'll help."

Despite my protesting stomach, I picked up the sandwich and took a bite, taking extra care to chew slowly so I didn't puke. After a few bites, I grabbed the glass of orange juice on the bedside table and drank half of it down before looking up to find Piper watching me silently.

"So...we going to talk about last night, or just act like it never happened?" she finally asked once I'd finished my breakfast and popped the headache meds my loving roomy had brought to me.

"I'm voting on the latter," I responded dryly, knowing all too well she wasn't going to let me bury my head in the sand.

Piper plopped down on my bed, resting on her elbows with her feet swinging back and forth in the air. "Well, you see, the problem with that plan is that the person in question is currently right under your feet. And from the looks of him last night, I don't think he's planning on going anywhere."

My head began to pound again as my stomach did somersaults, only that time I wasn't able to blame it on the hangover. It was all due to the boy downstairs—no, after seeing him the previous night, I could no longer call him a boy. Parker Owens was all grown up and despite my best efforts to think otherwise, he'd turned into one fine man.

"Gah! Why did he have to come here? Things were going great! My life was great, and now he's just going to screw it all up again!"

"Ah, sweetie." Scooting over, Piper wrapped her tiny arms around me and squeezed. "He can only ruin what you allow him to ruin. You know that, babe. People only have as much power over us as we give them. I know you're probably questioning it right now, but you're tough, Freya. You are _so_ tough. He can't break you this time if you don't let him."

I sniffed and blinked against the tears that wanted to fall. I wouldn't let them. "You make it sound so easy."

"That's because you're a badass bitch. It'll hurt, but I don't have a single doubt that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Finally, I smiled and hugged her back. "I kind of love you. You know that?"

"I kind of love you, too, even if your breath smells like a homeless man's farts right now."

"Gross!" I shouted as we both burst into a fit of laughter.

After a few seconds, Piper pulled back and looked at me seriously. "I've got your back no matter what, babe."

Even with all the bad I'd experienced in my life, there was one thing that held true: I had the best friends in the world.

* * *

"Hey, baby girl," Dad said into the phone as soon as he picked up. Just the sound of his voice made me smile.

"Hey, Dad."

"So, what's going on that I'm getting text messages from your roommate saying things like 'mayday, mayday', 'the shit done hit the fan' and, my personal favorite, 'Armageddon has begun'? I'd be worried if I didn't already know Piper had a flair for the dramatics."

Even though I felt like I'd been stuck on an emotional tilt-a-whirl for the last twenty-four hours, I still couldn't help but laugh.

"Tell me what's going on, sweetheart," he said in a gentle voice that still held a note of firmness.

"Parker's here."

"Parker's there," he repeated. "As in he's in Florida?"

"As in he's in Florida, at FSU and living in the same complex. He transferred here."

Neither of us spoke for several seconds. Finally, I heard my father sigh across the line. "Do you need me to come there?"

My chest warmed at my father's question. After my mother's death, I never thought we would have gotten to the place we were at right then.

"No, Daddy," I smiled adoringly even though he couldn't see it. "I love you for asking, but I'm okay."

"You sure? All you have to do is say the word and I'm on a plane, baby girl."

"No, I swear. Besides, I have Piper to kick his ass if I need to."

Dad's deep chuckle resonated through the line and warmed my heart. "This is true. That girl really is something else."

"Preaching to the choir," I laughed.

"All right, honey. If you're sure. Just remember, you're strong, Freya. You are so damn strong. Don't forget that, okay?"

"I won't," I whispered, feeling a little choked up at his praise. "I have to go. I've got work in an hour."

"Okay, honey. But you call me if you need anything."

"You got it. Love you."

"Love you, too."

After hanging up and getting ready for work, I felt better than I had all day. Talking with Dad was just what I needed to help put things in perspective. I still felt off-kilter and nervous about what Parker being there meant, but I felt more confident that I could handle whatever was thrown at me. I guessed only time would tell.

# Chapter Twenty-Three

### Freya

I was dead on my feet. While working at an all-night diner in a college town might be a brilliant idea when it comes to tips, the reality of it was Dottie's was packed all night long. My shift was set to end at ten and it couldn't have come fast enough. I had one last table left before I could call it a night.

"Hey, Freya. I just sat table seven," Michelle, Dottie's hostess told me with a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry. I tried to put him somewhere else but he insisted. At least he's hot." She shot me a wink and walked off as I let out a frustrated groan. I could feel a small trickle of sweat work its way down my back, plastering my already tight white t-shirt to me. My black shorts smelled like beer from a rowdy frat guy who accidentally spilled his drink on me and my hair reeked like french-fries. I was both hungry and exhausted. And I had to fake nice for my newest customer.

_Freaking perfect_.

As I walked toward the table, my eyes were downcast as I reached into my apron pocket for my order pad and pen. "Welcome to Dottie's. What can I get you...?" I trailed off as I looked up into those chocolate brown eyes that smiled up at me. An angry sound akin to a growl pushed past my lips as I scowled. "What the hell are you doing here?" I sneered.

That grin of his I'd fallen in love with so long ago took over his face and I found myself hating that smile of his. I wanted to reach over the table and yank the piercing right out of his bottom lip.

"This is a diner, right? I'm here to eat," he replied in a joking manner that did nothing but make me want to punch him in his face...and damn it, what a gorgeous face it was. The years had been nothing but good to Parker Owens...the bastard.

"How did you find out I worked here? Did Caleb tell you, because I swear to God, if he did, Piper's going to—"

Parker's hands came up in a placating gesture. "No, God no. Caleb didn't tell me, I swear. He didn't tell me. Please don't tell Piper he did. She's already got him by the balls for allowing me to live there as it is." A little thrill worked up my spine at his obvious discomfort with my roommate. "I saw the name on your shirt when you left earlier," he said, pointing to the Dottie's logo right above my left breast.

"So, you were spying on me?"

The corner of his mouth tipped up mischievously. "I wouldn't call it spying. I'd say it was just a coincidence that I just so _happened_ to be looking out my peephole at the exact moment you came walking by."

Ugh! He really had nerve. How he could sit there so casually and act like nothing bad had happened between us the last time we saw each other was beyond me.

"So, you're stalking me. Wow, Parker. You've really stooped to a whole new low, haven't you?"

Finally, the grin slipped from his face as he regarded me with what looked like regret. "I just wanted to talk, Freya. That's all."

"Well, I've got nothing to say to you," I spat back. "I thought I made that pretty clear that last night on the beach, but I guess not." He flinched at the mention of that night like I'd just slapped him. Seeing that caused a pang of regret to work its way through my body, but I'd be damned if I acknowledged it.

Parker rubbed his hands over his face roughly before dropping them down to the table. "You have every right to be mad at me, sweetheart..."

"That's an understatement," I scoffed.

"But I'm not going anywhere. I'll do whatever I have to to get you to forgive me."

"If I forgive you, will you leave?" I asked, cocking my hip to the side and resting my hand on it, trying my hardest to look unaffected even as my heart beat a million miles in my chest.

"The diner or Florida?" he asked warily.

"Preferably both."

He shook his head solemnly as his eyes bored into me. "I can't do that, gorgeous."

"You're determined to make my life miserable, aren't you?"

"That's the last thing in the world I want." The earnestness in his voice and on his face gave me pause. I didn't want to believe him, but gut instinct told me it wasn't a lie.

With a sigh of defeat, I dropped my hand from my hip and rolled my shoulders back. "Well, can you at least tell me what I have to do to get you out of the diner? I'm too tired to do this with you right now."

"A turkey club and glass of water?" he asked hesitantly. "I swear I'll eat fast. You don't even have to check back on me."

"Fine," I relented before scribbling his order down and snatching the piece of paper off my pad with more force than necessary. With a sarcastic smile plastered on my face, I said sweetly, "Coming right up." I spun on my heels and went to the serve through window to drop off Parker's order before going to pour his drink.

I tried not to let my gaze wander in his direction, but my eyes just wouldn't listen to my brain. He really was something to look at. Even the small changes I noticed weren't enough to detract from his stunning good looks. I knew beautiful wasn't a word men necessarily liked to be associated with themselves, but that was what Parker Owen was...beautiful. He'd bulked up a bit since the last time I saw him and his hair was shorter than I remembered it being. He wore it styled back in a messy manner that still looked sexy as sin on him. It no longer flopped over his forehead, shielding those knowing eyes. He still dressed casually and I had no doubt that if I were to look, he'd be wearing those ratty Converse sneakers he'd always been so fond of. Looking at him still had the power to take my breath away, and I hated him for having that command over me.

I made my way back to his table to sit his water down in front of him just as his cell phone began to ring. As he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen, a bright smile washed over his features for whoever was calling, and I felt an irrational sense of jealously take hold of me that it could possibly be another girl calling him. I slammed his drink down a little too hard, causing a little water to slosh over the top and onto the table, but I didn't stick around long enough to clean it up or listen to whatever he was saying to the person on the other end.

It was official. I had lost my mind. That was the only logical excuse I could come up with as to why Parker still affected me the way he did, even when every instinct in my body rebelled against his unnatural hold.

A few minutes later, with his plate in hand, I headed back in his direction. As I stepped up to the table to put his food down in front of him, he looked up at me with the same adoring smile he had when he first answered his phone. I was just about to step away when his words made me freeze in place.

"Yeah, Mom, I love you, too. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

His mom.

I hadn't allowed myself to think too much about Mrs. Owens in the past two years, but I was hit with a sudden wave of curiosity about how she was doing.

"Thanks," Parker said as he picked up half of his sandwich, still grinning at me like a fool. "There's spit in this, isn't there?" he teased, and damn it, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Maybe. Looks like you'll just have to trust me."

"I'd trust you with my life," he stated seriously, causing my stomach to flip.

"So...uh," I stuttered, trying to redirect the conversation. "That was your mom?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "She's kind of gotten a little crazy with the phone calls since I moved. I swear, you'd think I picked up and moved to a third world country with the way she worries."

I felt a tiny smile kick up the corner of my lips. "How's she doing?"

"She's good," he answered. "Great, actually. A lot's happened since you left, Freya."

"I'm sure," I spoke softly as I took a step back from the table. I needed to get away from him. I needed time to regroup and clear the cobwebs that seemed to be forming in my head. "Well, enjoy your meal."

"I want to tell you about it," he said quickly before I could make my escape. "I want to tell you about everything. Just give me a chance. Please."

I shook my head as a frown formed between my brows. "I don't...I don't know, Parker. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Just think about it," he said quickly as I took another step away. "That's all I'm asking."

Against my better judgment, I found my head bobbing up and down. "I'll think about it." When a smile broke across his face, I knew I had to make myself clear. I wasn't going to give him false hope. "I'm not promising anything, Parker. I need you to understand that."

"I'll take whatever I can get with you, Freya...happily."

With that, I turned and walked away from his table. Heading straight through the kitchen and out the back door, I sucked in some much needed air as I rested against the rough brick wall. It felt like my world had been knocked off its axis and I was spinning around out of control. At one time, I loved that Parker could make me feel that way. At that moment, it scared me half to death.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

Progress!

I knew I shouldn't let myself get excited about one simple conversation, but I just couldn't stop myself.

"Someone looks like they just got the world's best blow job," Caleb said as soon as I walked through the front door of the apartment.

"Huh?"

"I just mean that you're in a surprisingly good mood," he answered.

"So you assumed I had my dick sucked?"

"It's just an expression, man."

"I'm pretty sure it's not." I laughed as I plopped down on the couch and kicked my feet up on the coffee table.

"Well, it should be," he answered, knocking my feet off the table. I'd only been living with him for a day and it was already obvious Caleb was a serious clean freak. Thank God he was a cool guy or I would have worried about how our living situation was going to work.

"I talked to Freya tonight," I admitted, unable to wipe the grin from my face.

"Yeah? And you're still alive? That has to be a good thing, right?"

"Fingers crossed." I sighed. "I'm not fooling myself into thinking this is going to be easy, but I have to admit, not having her kick me in the balls was kind of a confidence boost."

Caleb's head fell back on a laugh. "So I have to ask, what _exactly_ are you here for? A guy doesn't just move all the way across the country simply for forgiveness."

Leaning my head back against the couch, I let out a deep breath and scrubbed my hands over my face. "If I tell you the truth, you going to try and kick my ass?"

"Depends," he answered with a small shrug. "You tell me you're here to get in her pants, then yeah, probably."

"It's not that, man. Hand to God." When I looked over at Caleb, one of his brows was quirked up skeptically. "Okay, it's not _just_ that," I conceded. "I'm not going to lie to you, I'd give my right arm to get her underneath me again, but it's so much more than that. I need her. I need _all_ of her. When she left, she took a major part of me with her. I don't think I'll ever get that part back if she doesn't come back to me, you know?"

I had Caleb's full attention after that. He muted the TV and turned to face me. "Then why'd you do it? That girl was wrecked when she got here. Hell, she's _still_ putting herself back together."

Hearing how bad off she was killed me. I physically ached when I thought of her being so sad. "I had my reasons," was all I offered. It wasn't that I had a problem telling Caleb the truth, but I owed it to Freya to give that truth to her first.

"Must have been damn good reasons if you care for her as much as you claim to."

"I love that girl with everything in me. Don't doubt that for a second. If I thought I had any other choice back then, I would have jumped at it. But I did what I had to do. It was the only way."

"Well," he started, relaxing back into the couch. "You don't know me well enough to have figured this out yet, but I'm actually a pretty damn good judge of character."

"Uh...okay?" I wasn't quite sure where he was going with that.

"I'm just saying, I get the feeling you're being real with me. I also think you're a pretty decent dude. But if you tell Piper I said that, I'll deny it 'til the day I die."

I laughed. Talking to Caleb just proved I was right about my initial judgment. He was a really cool guy. If things worked out like I hoped, hopefully we'd be able to stay friends. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Good. Now, I'll help you out the best I can to get your girl back, but only to a certain extent. I can't let it come between me and Pipe. You understand, right?"

"Yeah, I understand. I wouldn't ask for any more than that. I'm just thankful you're willing to help at all."

Caleb stretched his arm out so I could bump his fist with my own. "Here's to getting your girl back."

It was right then that I thanked God for meeting Caleb.

# Chapter Twenty-Four

### Freya

I sat curled up in one of the small patio chairs Piper and I had bought for our small balcony when we first moved in, staring out at the sky. Since moving to Florida I'd made the effort to watch the sunset as often as I could, but while I still took the time to stop and appreciate it each and every day, I no longer felt the need to sit and watch from start to finish unless time allowed. They were still important to me because they meant something to my mom, but the need to grasp on to anything that made me feel close to her wasn't weighing me down the way it had in the past. I could look at the sunset and smile, knowing I still carried my mother in my heart with me everywhere I went.

But for the past week, I found myself curling up on our balcony in the evenings I was home, in need of the sunsets to clear my head ever since Parker's arrival. He'd been true to his word and given me space to think for the past five days, but as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, letting the warm breeze kiss my face and play with the ends of my hair, I was still uncertain. I had no clue what he wanted to tell me, and more than that, I didn't know if it was something I wanted to hear.

Minutes ticked by as I enjoyed the tranquility around me. It wasn't often that I had the apartment to myself, and I basked in the silence that surrounded me like a warm blanket. I was so relaxed that I began to doze off in the wicker chair when a deep voice spoke, shaking off the comforting sleepiness.

"Freya?"

My eyes popped open and darted around my small surroundings. I was still alone. "Parker?" I asked.

"Yeah." I could hear the smile in his voice and realized it was coming from the balcony below me. "Are you, uh... Are you watching the sunset?"

"Yeah," I answered just above a whisper, not certain if he'd been able to hear me.

"I've watched almost every single sunset since you left," he said, pulling at my heart, making that dull ache more prominent. "I thought if I was sitting on that beach watching, maybe you were somewhere doing the same thing."

"Parker," I tried to make his name on my lips sound like a warning, but it just came off sounding as defeated as it felt. "Not now...please."

"Then when, Freya?" I could hear his agitation and it fueled my own.

"I never asked you to come here," I stated sternly. "I never wanted anything from you after I left, and I sure as hell didn't promise you I was going to hear whatever excuses you have to throw at me. I told you I'd think about it, that's it. I'm still _thinking_."

His heavy sigh was loud enough to carry up to where I sat. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just...I don't know how to do this."

"Do what?"

He remained silent for several beats before finally answering. "Be so close to you and not touch you or talk to you whenever I want." My eyes squeezed shut as he spoke against the familiar flood of emotion I used to feel whenever he was around. "It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, gorgeous."

"Please stop calling me that," I spoke in a soft, broken voice as the sound of my nickname rang in my ears.

"I never stopped loving you, Freya. Not even for a second."

"Stop," I pleaded desperately. He didn't listen. I should have gotten up and gone inside, cutting off his speech, but I couldn't bring myself to leave that chair.

"I know what I did hurt you, and I'll spend however long I have making it up to you, but I need you to know I've loved you every single day that's passed. I don't blame you for hating me. I hate myself most of the time. But I'm not leaving. I'm not giving up." With every sentence his tone grew more confident, more determined. "I'm going to earn your trust back."

I couldn't speak past the lump of tears that had formed in my throat. It felt like an eternity before I was able to get a hold of myself. I couldn't respond to his impassioned declaration. I didn't have one. My head screamed at me to tell him there was no chance of that ever happening, that it was too late, but my heart wouldn't let me. I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions and couldn't handle it.

So I did the only thing I could. I stood and walked inside, closing the door on Parker and the words I'd been desperate to hear two years before.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

She walked away.

The sound of her door closing quietly above me echoed like a harsh slam, discouragement weighing heavily on my shoulders as I slunk back into my own apartment. I was running out of ideas and growing more and more disheartened with each passing day. The idea of a future without Freya was unimaginable, but as the days passed, I began to worry. I couldn't go back to that empty shell of a life I'd been living in for the past two years. As I fell back onto my bed with an aggravated sigh, fear clutched at my chest that she might not be able to forgive me.

"No," I spoke out loud, shaking my head to clear it of those dismal thoughts. As I sat up and ran my hands through my hair, the sight of my partially open closet door caught my eye and I was suddenly hit with an idea. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it already. As I rushed to the closet and threw the door open the rest of the way, I was reinvigorated.

I might have been down, but I wasn't out.

At least not yet.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

"What's up, buttercup?" Piper chirped happily as she came bounding through the door, dropping her stuff on the floor and heading for the kitchen. Reaching for the remote, I hit pause on the DVR, stopping _The Mindy Project_ right at one of Mindy's long-winded rambles I always found so funny.

"How was the movie?" I called as she reached into the cabinet for a glass.

"Blood, guts, explosions and a beefed-up dude with a bad accent shooting anything that moved. You know, the typical Caleb pick."

"Ah, so you hated it," I grinned, knowing my friend so well.

"You got it. That's okay. I saw a preview for some new Chris Hemsworth movie while we were there. I already locked him down for the next movie night."

"What's it about?"

She walked back into the living room with a glass of water in hand, giving me a casual shrug. "Don't know, don't care. It's Chris Hemsworth. As long as his shirt comes off at some point, I couldn't give a shit if there's a plot line."

"Valid point." I laughed.

"Ooh, I forgot." Setting her glass down on the coffee table, she went back to the front door and picked up the stuff she'd dropped. "This was outside. I guess it was delivered earlier? I thought your dad already sent you your birthday present."

I took the wrapped package from her hands and inspected the paper with curiosity. It was faded and torn in places like it had been handled a lot. "He did," I stated as I lifted the box to my ear and gave it a shake. "I have no idea what this is."

Piper bounced up and down as she clapped her hands. "Open it! Open it!"

Her excitement rubbed off on me as I began tearing at the worn paper like a kid on Christmas. I pulled off the box's lid and gasped at what sat in front of me. The box contained a small canvas watercolor painting of a sunset. The colors were so vivid and bright it almost looked like the real thing.

"Oh, that's beautiful," Piper breathed, leaning in and lifting the painting from out of the box so she could study it better. Beneath where the canvas sat was a brightly colored piece of sea glass the size of my palm in a shape that resembled a heart. Picking up the glass, I gently placed it aside and reached for the envelope at the bottom of the box. My hands shook as I ripped open the flap and pulled out a sheet of lined paper. My heart beat frantically and my stomach dipped at the sight of the familiar handwriting.

* * *

_H appy eighteenth birthday, gorgeous._

_I can't tell you how long I looked for a painting that was as perfect as every sunset I've watched with you. I wanted to give you that same beauty so you could hang it in your room and see it every day. Hopefully you'll think of me each time you look at it. I found that sea glass on our beach a few months back and it made me think of you. Pretty coincidental it's shaped like a heart, huh? ;)_

_You have my heart, Freya. Now and always. You're my whole world, baby._

_I love you more than you'll ever know._

* * *

_Y ours forever,_

_Parker_

* * *

"Oh, my God," I breathed as I read the letter a second time, then a third, over and over until tears began to blur my vision, making it impossible to see the words clearly.

"Holy shit," Piper said from over my shoulder. "He kept your birthday present this whole time?"

All I could do was nod.

"That...wow."

I reached over, took the painting from Piper and sat it in my lap, studying all the boldly painted colors that depicted the one thing Parker and I both held with such high importance. "I can't believe he kept this," I said in amazement. "Who does this?" I asked, turning my head to stare at Piper with wide eyes. "Who keeps a present for someone they broke up with _two years ago_?"

My friend's eyes shined with sympathy as she took my hand in hers. "Someone who's obviously still in love with the person," she spoke solemnly.

"No." I shook my head. "No, _he_ broke up with _me_ , Pipe. He did it. He didn't even waste a second before he jumped right back into his ex's bed!" I jumped to my feet and began to pace. "You don't do that to someone you love. You _don't_!"

Piper stood up and cut me off, placing her hands on my shoulders. "I know, honey, I know. But didn't you tell me he keeps claiming he has an explanation? That there was a reason why he did what he did?"

"It won't be good enough! What excuse could he possibly give me that would make anything he did okay?"

"I don't know," Piper answered with a shake of her head. "But neither will you if you aren't willing to hear him out. For Christ's sake, the man kept a present he bought for you when you two were eighteen. He moved all the way across the country for you. Without knowing for certain you'd ever speak to him again!"

"So you're taking his side?" I regretted the words the moment they passed my lips.

Piper's eyes narrowed as she propped her hands on her hips. "No, and you know me better than to even think that. I'm _always_ on your side. Don't question my loyalty just because you're upset."

My head dropped back on a long groan before I finally looked back at my friend, the same friend who was my lifeline from the moment I moved there. "You're right." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Piper leaned in and wrapped her tiny arms around me in a hug. "I know you didn't, butthole. I understand that this is hard for you, but please don't think I have anything less than your best interests in mind."

I returned her hug, resting my cheek on her shoulder. "I know, sweetie. I'm just a mess. Everything was going perfectly. My life was great until he showed up."

Pulling back, Piper studied me thoughtfully. "Was it really?"

"What are you talking about? Of course it was. I have great friends. I'm doing well in school. My relationship with my father is better than anything I could ask for—"

"And you haven't had a single boyfriend in all the time you've been here," she stated, cutting me off.

I opened my mouth to argue, but quickly closed it when I realized she was right. "I've...dated," I replied lamely.

"You've gone on less than a handful of _lunch_ dates or _coffee_ dates in the past two years. Lunch and coffee barely constitute as dates. Hell, you never even let the guys pay!"

"And your point is?" I grumbled sullenly.

"My point, dear, sweet roomie, is that maybe Parker being here isn't necessarily a bad thing." Her hand came up and covered my mouth when I went to argue. "What I mean is maybe at the very least, you could get some closure out of this whole mess. Then you'll finally be able to truly move on. There's really only one way to find out. Either way, you won't be any worse off than you were when you first got here. I'm not telling you it's something you should definitely do, but don't you think it's at least worth considering?"

I spent several seconds considering everything she'd said before finally nodding in agreement. As usual, she was right. "I'll consider it, okay?"

"Good!" She clapped. "Now let's watch countless hours of _The Mindy Project_ while gorging on Ben and Jerry's and cheap wine. Sound good to you?"

"Sounds perfect." I grinned as I followed her into the kitchen, getting two pints out of the freezer while she popped the cork on a five-dollar bottle of wine. Cheap booze and mindless TV with an amazing friend were exactly what I needed.

# Chapter Twenty-Five

### Freya

I was startled from my reading by the sound of someone beating on my front door. Already knowing who stood on the other side, I threw my textbook down and jumped from the couch. The moment I pulled the front door open, loud squeals and screeches echoed down the breezeway as Stella and I lunged at each other, jumping up and down like deranged monkeys hopped up on caffeine.

"I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too, BFF!"

After one last squeeze, she pulled back and focused on my face. "You okay?"

"Oh, good Lord." I sighed, knowing by the concern etched on her face that Piper had already told her about Parker. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Okay," she dragged out as she cocked her head to assess whether or not I was lying. "If you say so."

"I say so," I insisted, grabbing the handle of her bag and pulling it through the door. "Now, Michael better have packed chocolate in this bag if he knows what's good for him."

"He did." Stella laughed as she dropped down on my couch with a huff. "And your birthday present's in there, too."

"Ooh! Gimme, gimme." I made grabby hands at her as she unzipped the bag and pulled out a heart-shaped box of chocolates and another tiny box with a bow stuck on the top. I snatched the box out of her hand and ripped the lid off. "Don't get too excited," she giggled. "I'm a broke college student. You're lucky you got anything at all."

I let out a squeal of excitement at the sight of the Amazon gift card sitting on top of the tissue paper in the box. My friend knew me so well. I was a 1-click junkie and the hundred dollar gift card was going to keep me in my e-book habit for weeks to come. "Yay! I love it!"

Falling down next to her, I rested my feet in her lap and laid my head on the arm of the couch. "I'm so glad you're here."

She patted my foot and gave me a smile. "Me, too, honey. Now, are we going to talk about the six-foot, two hundred pound elephant in the room?"

"Really? I was thinking more around 6'1, one-eighty-five."

She gave my foot a rough pinch as she let out a laugh. "Whatever, smartass. You know what I mean."

"I know," I grumbled. "I just don't necessarily want to talk about it right now. I feel like I'm being talked to death. Parker wants to talk. Piper wants to talk about what I think Parker wants to talk about. My dad wants to talk to make sure I'm okay. Right now, I wouldn't necessarily hate being struck deaf and mute."

"And be denied the pleasure of my amazing singing voice?" she joked. Both of us knew Stella couldn't hold a tune if her life depended on it.

Unable to take Stella's sympathetic gaze, I stared down at my fingers, twisting and untwisting just to have something to do with them. "He said he has an explanation," I offered quietly."

"For...what, exactly? For the breakup? For standing by and letting you be bullied? For telling Cassidy everything you told him in confidence?"

I stood from the couch and moved on fidgety legs around the living room. "I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know what the hell he wants to say because I won't let him say it. I just keep thinking that if I let myself listen, he's going to tell me something that will rip me open all over again."

"You aren't the same girl you were back then, Freya. You're so much stronger now. No matter what he has to say, you're not going to fall apart like you did back then."

"How can you be so sure of that?" I asked sullenly.

"Because I know you. What did Piper and your dad have to say about his sudden reappearance?"

I let out a breath. I was never going to live down my next admission. "That I was tougher than I gave myself credit for," I muttered.

A cheeky grin spread across her face. "So, basically the exact same thing I said?"

"Basically," I repeated with a roll of my eyes.

"Because I'm the smartest person you know and everyone always agrees with me."

Desperately needing a change of subject, I brought up the one thing I knew would divert her attention. "Can we stop talking about Parker and concentrate on the party tonight?" Around the time we moved into our apartment, Piper and I got the brilliant idea to throw 'welcome' parties every time Stella came to visit. Luckily, we were close to most of our neighbors so what started out as a small, casual thing in the beginning had grown into a beast, largely due to the fact that Piper was a master party planner. Each of our neighbors opened their doors once the party started so people could go in and out, either mingling in the breezeway or in someone's home. Both ours and Caleb's levels got involved in the festivities. They were some of the best parties all year. And thanks to the fact that Caleb was of legal drinking age, we were always able to get booze.

"The party!" Stella cheered. "I can't believe I almost forgot about that! I wish Michael had been able to make it this time. He'd have loved it."

"Just make sure to drag his butt down here next time. We'll make sure it's epic."

* * *

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, mascara wand in hand, I took slow, measured strokes, making sure to give my lashes a long, full look without making them clumpy. I felt the ridiculous need to look perfect, knowing Parker was more than likely going to be attending the party seeing as he lived with Caleb. My eyes were smoky, my lips a deep shade of burgundy, my hair in perfectly styled, glossy curls that rested at the tops of my shoulders. I wore my makeup and hair like war paint, knowing I needed it against Parker—even though I'd spent two hours earlier that day trying to convince myself that none of it was for him.

Who was I kidding?

I'd squeezed myself into a pair of skin-tight leggings designed to look like leather. My off-the-shoulder top was decorated with thick black and white stripes, each stripe covered with sequins of the same color. Needless to say, I'd gone all out. And as I leaned over to fluff my hair, giving it some much needed volume, the butterflies in my belly began to riot at the thought of seeing _him._ The fact that Parker was still my biggest weakness was positively infuriating. If I hadn't been afraid of twisting an ankle in my four-inch high-heeled booties, I'd have tried to kick my own ass for being so stupid.

"Freya!" Piper yelled from down the hall. "We're out of chips!"

"In the pantry," I called back to her.

"I looked there already. I couldn't find...oh, sweet Lord in Heaven, babe, you look hot!"

"Let me see! Let me see!" My cheeks burned red as Stella came pushing up to stand next to Piper in the bathroom doorway. All of a sudden, the room felt three times too small and stifling.

Stella blew out a long whistle as she looked me up and down. "Damn, sweetie, she's not kidding. You look great."

"You're both looking pretty good yourselves," I deflected, even though I meant it. They looked fantastic. They each wore matching knowing expressions; they knew why I put so much effort into my appearance, but thankfully, they were such amazing friends they'd let it slide. I screwed my mascara closed and tossed it on the counter before stepping out of the room and heading to the kitchen. I opened the pantry door and, sure enough, there were three extra bags of chips sitting right there on the shelf. Turning around with one of the bags in my hands, I curled my lip and shot Piper a look.

"What?" She shrugged innocently. "I'm short. You're tall. I couldn't see them."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled as I went about pouring chips into bowls and setting out dips. Our apartment was on chip and finger food duty. The apartment two doors down had two guys rooming together who'd be grilling up hotdogs on the little hibachi they kept on their patio. Each apartment did their part in providing food and drinks. The night was set to be epic and I couldn't wait for it to start.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

"You about ready, man? It's starting any minute," Caleb called from the living room. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I was anxious as hell at the thought of seeing Freya. I hadn't seen or spoken to her since that evening on the balcony. I had no clue what she thought of the present I'd left on her doorstep or if she'd even gotten it. With every passing day, I started questioning my decision to give it to her. What if she hated it? What if she didn't want the reminder of what we used to share? Christ, I was second-guessing every damn thing and couldn't make myself stop.

As I walked down the hall, I spotted Caleb in the kitchen, hunched over an ice chest as he loaded it full of ice and beer.

"Want one?" he asked, holding up one of the chilled bottles of Bud.

"Yeah, thanks." I took it from his hand and twisted the top off, flicking the cap in the trashcan next to me. I sucked down half in just a few gulps, needing the alcohol to take effect and calm my frayed nerves.

"You cool?" I lowered the bottle to see Caleb looking at me, one brow cocked. "You look a little on edge."

"Yeah, I'm good," I lied. He'd already offered his help in getting me back into Freya's good graces, but I was a little unsure of just where the line was drawn between him helping and being put in the middle. I liked the guy. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable around either of us.

"So this party's kind of a big deal, huh?"

Caleb chuckled good-naturedly. "Give a bunch of college co-eds a reason to drink free booze and eat free food and it's bound to be a hit. But I have to hand it to the girls, dude. How they set these things up is pure genius."

"I'd say." I laughed. "They got two whole levels involved. That takes serious talent."

"Those two are like the party whisperers or something. Half the frat parties can't even compare to Stella's little 'welcome' parties."

I was amazed by what I was hearing. The Freya I knew hated attention. She had been quiet and to herself, only allowing a very select few of us into her inner circle. I never would have thought she'd be a part of throwing an epic party so many people were a part of. It went to show just how much she'd changed in the two years she'd been gone. I might have hated the fact that she'd left me, but I couldn't deny that her move to Florida had really helped her grow. The sorrow I was so used to seeing in her eyes was gone. She seemed genuinely happy. My heart warmed at that thought, but there was still an underlying sadness lingering in my chest because the realization that I had nothing to do with that happiness burned like fire in my blood.

"You knew Stella back in high school, didn't you?" Caleb asked, pulling my head back into the present.

"Uh, yeah," I answered, rubbing at the tension sitting at the back of my neck. "We'd been friends but I'm pretty sure she hates me now."

"Jesus, Park," Caleb laugh awkwardly. "I don't mean to sound like I dick, but I definitely don't envy you, my friend. Between Freya, Piper, _and_ Stella, you got your work cut out for you. That's for damn sure."

"Tell me about it," I muttered before downing the rest of my beer.

There was no humor on his face as he regarded me seriously. "Still think she's worth it?"

"Never been more certain of anything in my life. Besides..." I felt a grin pull at the corner of my mouth. "I've always liked a challenge."

"Well, best of luck, roomie. This is the mother of all challenges."

Didn't I know it.

# Chapter Twenty-Six

### Freya

The party was in full swing. People were milling about having fun as they wandered from apartment to apartment or hung out in the breezeway. The Airborne Toxic Event was playing from the speakers of Piper's iPod dock she'd set up just outside our doorway. As I walked around mingling with classmates and neighbors, I felt Parker's eyes on me. I spotted him earlier as he and Caleb made their way up to our level, but I made sure to keep my distance and he hadn't approached. That didn't mean my eyes weren't inadvertently scanning in his direction every so often.

He looked amazing as ever, dressed in faded jeans that hugged his body to perfection and the light blue, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscled forearms. How was it possible for forearms to be so sexy? I had to tamp down my body's natural reaction to him. My cheeks flushed and my breathing picked up every time our eyes met. I was always the first to look away, nervous about the way my heart sped up each time those dark eyes focused on me.

I stood, leaning over a cooler looking for something non-alcoholic as Piper came bouncing over. "He's staring again," she chirped in a singsong voice, garnering an eye roll from me.

"Who's staring?" Stella asked, coming up to join us.

Piper snatched the Coke from my hand and replaced it with a beer as she answered. "Who do you think?"

I took the Coke back and set the unopened beer down. I needed to keep my wits about me if I was going to be around Parker. That meant staying stone-cold sober. Against my better judgment, I turned to where he stood, talking to a few of the guys who lived on our level. The moment my eyes landed on him, he turned his attention to me. It was as if he could feel every time I looked at him.

"He's been staring all damn night," Stella said. "Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't come up to talk to you."

"I think he's keeping his distance because he's scared of you," Piper joked, tugging on one of Stella's curls.

"He should be. I got ninja moves."

"You two are ridiculous." I laughed as I stepped back. "I need to go check on snacks. I'll be back in a bit."

Our apartment was surprisingly empty of party-goers as I stepped through the door. As I entered the kitchen, I understood why. The bowls of chips were empty and the dip had been scraped clean from the containers. As I went about replenishing the snacks, I felt a familiar tingling on the back of my neck. Even years after our breakup, my body knew the moment Parker entered a room before I ever even saw him.

"You look beautiful, Freya." That low, rumbly voice of his sent a chill through me, covering my skin with goose bumps.

"Thank you," I said quietly, keeping my eyes downcast.

His voice was closer as he spoke and I knew he was standing on the other side of the bar. "This party is awesome. Caleb wasn't lying when he called you and Piper the party whisperers."

I let out a small laugh at Caleb's moniker. "Well, it's not that hard to keep college kids happy. Put out free food and booze and they come running."

"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, gorgeous."

My gaze lifted up to meet his. "I asked you not to call me that."

The ring in his bottom lip glinted in the overhead light as the corners of his mouth kicked up in a wicked smirk. "It got you to look at me, didn't it?"

"I should get back to the party," I replied as I tossed the empty chip bag in the trash. I moved to step around the bar and head for the front door when he cut me off, his wide body blocking my escape.

"When are you going to stop running from me, Freya?" The playfulness in his voice was gone. The smile on his lips had tipped down into a frown as he watched me closely.

"What do you want from me, Parker?"

"I want you to talk to me! It's been damn near two weeks. I know you hate me for what I did, but if you'd just let me explain—"

"Explain what, exactly?" Stella asked from the doorway. I could see the anger radiating off her as she stepped closer. Her green eyes were shooting fire at Parker as she glared. "You want to explain why you dumped her for that bitch, Cassidy? Or how about the fact that you stood by and let your _friends_ make her life miserable for months!"

Parker's forehead wrinkled. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know," Stella seethed, jabbing her finger into his chest. "They tortured her. And you stood by and allowed it to happen!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Parker insisted frantically. He turned back to me for an explanation but Stella got there first.

"You're going to stand here and lie about not helping spread those rumors about Freya being bad in bed? What about when they taped naked pictures in her locker with notes on how to please a man? How about the time they keyed her car and we had to hide it from her dad so he wouldn't freak the hell out?"

With each word Stella spoke, Parker's eyes grew wider with shock. "I-I didn't know." Turning back to me, Parker grabbed my arms with a pleading look. "I swear to Christ, Freya. I had no fucking idea any of that was happening. I swear! I _never_ would have let them treat you like that. You have to believe me!"

Part of me wanted to believe him. The sincerity behind his eyes was so overwhelming that I almost did, but then I remembered what else he'd done. "And I'm guessing you're also going to deny cheating on me the whole time we were together?" I asked, my words laced with venom.

"Hell yes, I am!" I bellowed. "I never, _ever_ cheated on you! I loved you, Freya. How could you ever question that?"

"Because Cassidy told me! She told me how you two were still sleeping together while you were with me! She told me all about how you'd laugh at the pathetic girl who was always whining about her dead mom, how you couldn't stand how pathetic I was and that even my own father ignored me because of it!"

His hands went to his hair as he tugged frantically. His eyes had taken on an almost manic quality as he looked at me. "I never said any of that. You have to believe me!"

"If you didn't, then who did, huh?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest. "You and Stella were the only ones who knew!"

Parker's head whipped around to where Stella stood by the front door, which she had so graciously closed. My friend had my back in everything. As soon as our voices started raising, she'd shut the door to give us some privacy.

"Don't you even _think_ about looking at me," she hissed. "I would never betray Freya the way you did."

"But I didn't!"

"Then who did?" I shouted. "You and I were alone when I told you. School had already let out when I told Stella," I pointed out. "There was no one else there!"

"Wait..." Parker held up his hands to stop me from saying anything else. "You told her at school?"

I was confused by where he was going. "Yeah. So?"

"You sure there was no one else there? Maybe someone overheard."

"No. There was no one—"

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My blood went cold in my veins as my eyes grew wide. "Oh, God," I gasped.

Stella placed her hand on my arm. "What?"

"Cassidy." I spoke in a huffed voice. "She was there. She came up behind me and tried to knock me over as I was leaving."

Realization dawned in her eyes, as well. "Oh, shit."

"Freya." Parker's choked voice snatched me back into the present. I blinked away the memory of that day to find he'd stepped so close there was barely in inch of space between us. "Please, _please_ believe me." His hands came up to cup my face, his own a mask of torment. "I never said a word to her about you. Jesus, you were _everything_ to me. I could have never said that shit about you." His forehead hit mine as he came even closer. "Everything she said was a lie. I swear. I loved you with everything I was, I still _do_! I could never hurt you like that, baby. I'm not capable of it."

His words were so impassioned, so desperate as his eyes begged me to believe him. I felt myself wavering. I couldn't breathe with him standing so close; not after all I'd been through. Taking a step back, I shot a look at Stella, unsure of how to handle everything that had just come to light. She gave me a tiny, almost imperceptible nod. With that one simple movement, I understood everything she was trying to convey. She was telling me it was time to listen to him. She turned and opened the front door, letting in the noises of the party going on outside before stepping through and closing it behind her.

Finally, I looked back at the man standing in front of me, feeling like the rug had just been ripped out from under my feet. "Then why?" I asked, emotion clogging my throat, making the words come out hoarse.

He stepped closer, reaching out for me but I moved back. I couldn't think with him touching me, I couldn't concentrate.

The dark pools of his eyes took on so much pain at my rebuff. "Please," he begged. "I'll tell you everything. Just let me touch you, Freya. I _need_ to touch you."

"No," I spoke, thankful that at least my voice held the strength that my body didn't feel.

"You don't understand!" he shouted manically. "I _have_ to touch you. Two years, Freya. Two goddamned years! I've been shattered without you. I've needed you like I need air. Please don't take this away from me. I'm begging you."

Every fiber of my being wanted to cave, to fall into his arms and let him hold me. But I couldn't. Not until I understood what the hell was going on.

"No, Parker. Talk. I'll listen to what you have to say, but not with you touching me."

" _Fuck_!" He stomped away from me, running his hands through his hair until it was in complete disarray. I watched him struggle, how he warred with himself for several minutes before he was able to calm down. I took a seat on the couch while he remained standing as he finally began to speak.

"Cassidy found out my dad was having an affair." He sounded so defeated as he spoke that my heart broke for him all over again. "She had pictures. She confronted me after school on your birthday and showed me. She said if I didn't break up with you, she was going to show my mom." When his gaze hit me, my breath lodged in my throat at the pain in his expression. "I tried to think of a way out of it, to come up with _something_ , but when I confronted my dad, he got pissed. He said I needed to give her what she wanted to keep her quiet." His humorless laugh echoed through the quiet space of my living room. "The son of a bitch didn't even care about what it would do to my mom if she found out. We got into it and..."

"The bruises," I offered, remembering how he'd come to school, his face covered in blue and purple welts from his father's fists.

"Please understand, I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let her find out; it would have killed her. I had to protect her, Freya."

The lump in my throat grew so large I felt like it was choking me. I wanted to cry...for him, for me, for everything we'd lost that we didn't have to lose.

"You could have told me," I croaked, losing my battle against the tears. "You should have told me, Parker."

"I couldn't."

"You could have!"

"You wouldn't have understood!"

"You didn't give me the chance!" His lack of faith in me stoked the anger that had been smoldering inside for so long, setting that long-held ire aflame once again. "You didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth! If you would have come to me, told me what was going on, who knows what would have happened. But you didn't."

"I didn't have a choice," he insisted frantically.

"You did! You always have a choice. You chose not to put your faith in me. I hate that your mom had been suffering, I hate that Cassidy did that to you, and I hate that you've been in pain. But more than all of that, I hate that you didn't _trust_ me."

"I _did_ trust you!"

My voice lowered as I shook my head, the fight seeping from my bones, leaving nothing but exhaustion in its wake. "No. You didn't."

He jumped from the couch and charged me, grabbing hold of my face so I couldn't get away. "I'm sorry," his voice broke. "I'm so damn sorry for hurting you, for everything you went through. I fucking hate myself for what I did to you." Tears shined in his eyes as he stared down at me longingly. "Please forgive me. I can't stand you hating me. It kills me."

It was then that realization hit me. The weight I'd been carrying around on my chest for the past two years finally lifted and I could breathe freely. I _could_ forgive him. I could let go of all of the anger and sadness that had bound me for so long.

"I don't hate you," I whispered, reaching up to wrap my fingers around his wrists. "And I forgive you." The agony melted off his face and I saw a spark of relief. However, it was short-lived. I pulled his hands from my cheeks and stepped back. "But I can't give you what you want."

"Freya—"

I held up my hand to silence him. "No, I listened to what you had to say. Now it's my turn. I can forgive you, Parker. But I can't go back to what we were before. I made you my whole world. I put my entire happiness on your shoulders and that's not right; it's not healthy. It took me a while to see that, but we weren't good for each other. Instead of coping with our losses, we buried ourselves in each other and ignored everything else."

"That's bullshit and you know it," he bit out. "We were perfect for each other. You helped heal me. My life was _miserable_ until you came along, and it's been miserable since the day you left."

"Don't you see? We shouldn't have to depend on someone else to get through the hard times! We shouldn't base our entire happiness on another person. I can't heal you, Parker. Not any more than you can heal me. I realized that when I moved here. We have to do it ourselves. You shouldn't depend on the person you're with to make your life better. You have to do that yourself."

Before I could say another word my back was against the wall, Parker's lips devouring mine with a ferocity that sent an instant thrill through my body and warmed my insides. My initial hesitation was forced to the background as he demanded entrance. The taste of him on my tongue as his snaked out and dueled with mine caused a low moan to rumble up from deep inside my belly. He tasted like beer and mint. The combination scrambled my brain, making me forget everything I'd just said.

I clutched at the soft fabric of his shirt as he pressed his thick body into mine, pinning me against the wall as he feasted on my mouth like a starving man. I couldn't get enough, yet at the same time it felt like too much. Too much passion, too much intensity. Too much uncertainty. As his lips broke from mine and skated down my neck, leaving a burning trail in their wake, I was finally able to clear my head enough to think, to realize that this wasn't smart.

"Stop," I panted as Parker's teeth nipped and sucked at the skin along my collarbone. "Parker, stop," I insisted louder, using my hold on his shirt to push him away instead of holding him to me.

When he finally pulled back, I could feel his chest moving against mine with each ragged breath. His eyes glowed almost black with lust and I had to clench my thighs together at the sensation just that one look caused.

His fingers tangled in my hair as he tilted my face up to his. "Tell me you don't still love me," he growled. "Tell me you don't feel this connection between us like I do. It's still there, Freya. You can deny it all you want, but it's. Still. There."

I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth but I couldn't force the words out.

His mouth tilted up in a grin as he said, "You can keep telling yourself that you can't give me what I want, but it's not going to do a damn bit of good. I moved across the goddamned country for you. You might not know it yet, but there isn't a damn thing I wouldn't do to win you back. So don't tell me you can't give me what I want because not having you in my life isn't an option. I tried living my life without you, and I'm not doing it anymore."

He placed one last kiss on my stunned lips before pulling back. "Fight me all you want, gorgeous. I'm not giving up."

Then he was gone. I slid down the wall until my butt hit the floor, my trembling legs no longer able to hold me up. He'd dropped that bomb then just left, leaving me in an emotionally frazzled puddle in the middle of my living room.

I was in serious trouble.

# Chapter Twenty-Seven

### Parker

The bedroom door slammed behind me so hard I was shocked the wood didn't splinter and break. Having to walk out of her apartment with the taste of her mouth still on my lips was torture, but I needed to get myself under control. I was unravelling. How could she accuse me of not trusting her? I trusted her with my life! I hadn't kept the entire truth from her because of a lack of faith. It was because the thought of seeing her face when I told her my number one fear was walking in and finding my mother laying in a pool of her own blood, her wrists sliced open and draining the life from her _again_ was something I couldn't deal with. I didn't want her to know the whole truth. I didn't want to risk her pitying me or worse, her running again because the skeletons in my family's closet were just too much to handle.

The thought of her knowing everything made my stomach clench. That day would be burned in my brain for the rest of my life. No fifteen-year-old boy, still suffering the heartbreak of losing his brother, should have to find his own mother in that position. It was too much. It screwed me up in a way I still wasn't sure I'd ever come back from. Despite the fact that my mom seemed to be doing well, I still carried around the gut-wrenching fear that she'd try again. Until six months ago, that fear had dictated every aspect of my life. It was years of trained behavior that I was still having trouble letting go of. I called her constantly, Face-timed, emailed, texted. I kept in contact as often as possible just to make sure she hadn't backslid. How was I ever supposed to admit to Freya just how fucked-up I was because of that day? She'd never look at me the same.

Her words had been like a knife to the gut. I hated hearing her say our relationship had been unhealthy. But the entire time she talked, I'd focused on her eyes. I could still see the love she had for me in that brilliant blue, even if it was buried deep, deep down. I knew it was there. That knowledge kept my hope from being shattered as she spoke.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I looked at the time and saw it was past midnight. While it was already after ten back in Sommerspoint, I knew my mom would still be awake. After that conversation with Freya, I needed to talk to her. I needed to hear her voice if for no other reason than to confirm she was all right.

"Parker?" she asked in lieu of hello.

"Hey, Mom. Did I wake you?"

"No, honey, I'm actually just getting home. But isn't it kind of late for you?"

What did she mean she was just getting home? "Where have you been?" I asked, sounding like an over-protective father.

"I was out with some friends. Is that all right with you?" she asked sarcastically.

"Sorry," I grumbled, using my free hand to scrub over my face. "I just...it's been a rough night. I'm a little high-strung right now."

"Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?"

I had long forgotten what it was like to have a mother who _actually_ mothered. That was just another thing I was trying to get used to. It was ingrained in my mind to keep my problems to myself so I didn't weigh her down with more than she was already dealing with. I hadn't quite learned how to lean on her when needed.

"It's nothing," I lied, hoping the fake smile I plastered on my face came through the line. "Just tired with classes and all. I miss you. How have you been?"

"I miss you, too, honey. And I've been great, I promise. Things have been really good around here. Oh! I even got a little part-time job working the front desk at Trudy's salon!"

Her excitement rang through loud and clear, turning the smile on my face into something genuine. Hearing her sound so happy lightened the load I felt like I was carrying around. "I'm glad, Mom. That's awesome to hear. Just as long as they don't let you anywhere near a client's head it should be good."

It had gotten easier over time to start talking about Toby and the reminder of the at-home haircuts she used to give my brother and me brought us joy instead of pain. We were finally able to laugh about the little things.

"I really did give the worst haircuts in history, didn't I?" We both laughed and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Nah, you weren't so bad. Just stay away from the paying clientele."

"I think I can manage that, baby. You sure you're all right? There's nothing on your mind?"

I'd just had a great conversation with my mother, and I wasn't about to tarnish that with anything negative. If there was one thing I'd learned in my life it was to hold on to the good for as long as humanly possible.

"I'm good, Mom. Just wanted to talk is all."

"Okay," she said dubiously. "You know I'm here if you ever need anything, right?"

"I know, Mom."

"I love you, my sweet boy."

"Love you, too. Get some sleep. We'll talk later."

I hung up the phone and undressed before turning off the light and climbing into bed. I spent the next few hours staring up at the ceiling, wondering what Freya was doing after that kiss and how in the hell I was going to get her back.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

"Wakey, wakey. Make me some bakey!" Stella sing-songed as she burst through my bedroom door.

I pulled the pillow over my head to block out her incessant cheerfulness. It was too early and I hadn't had coffee. I was ill-prepared for how much of a morning person Stella was. "You're spending too much time with Piper," I groaned.

She whipped the pillow off my head, her happy, smiling face only inches from mine. "What can I say, we're kindred spirits. Now wake up and make me some breakfast, woman!" In retaliation, I blew my morning breath in her face. Her nose wrinkled and her face pinched together. "Oh, gross! I hate you."

"You love me."

"I'll love you more when you make me pancakes and bacon. Chop, chop!"

She bustled from my room as I begrudgingly climbed from the comforts of my bed and stumbled into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. After getting dressed, I wandered into the kitchen for some much needed caffeine. Piper and Stella hopped up from the couch to follow me, plopping down on the barstool across the counter and staring at me with eager eyes.

"What?" I asked hesitantly, taking my first sip of liquid gold.

"Don't you 'what' us." Piper pointed her manicured finger at me. "You know exactly _what_. We want to know what the hell happened between you and that hottie downstairs. Spill it."

"Smooth, Pipe," Stella grumbled. "Real smooth."

"Screw smooth! Start talking. And get to cooking while you're at it."

I knew there was no use arguing with either of them, seeing as how it was two against one. Rolling my eyes, I started pulling out everything I needed for pancakes and bacon. "I don't suppose there's any way I can get either of you to let this go?" I asked even though I knew it was pointless.

" _Pfft_ ," Piper scoffed. "Not a chance in Hell."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I filled them in on everything Parker told me the night before, everything from what Cassidy had done to the kiss against the wall. By the time I was finished, there was a plate stacked with pancakes and the bacon was almost done sizzling, while my friends stared at me with wide yes and hanging jaws.

Stella screeched. "That...that... _bitch_!"

"Do you forgive him?" Piper asked.

"I do," I answered, wringing my fingers together in frustration. "But that doesn't change anything. I meant what I said. The relationship wasn't healthy. We were too dependent on each other. I can't go there again."

Stella reached over and took my hand. "You were teenagers. The both of you were going through some pretty hard stuff. That doesn't mean you weren't good for each other."

I let out a humorless laugh. "You're actually pushing me to get back together with him? You saw the aftermath of that disaster."

"I'm not pushing you to do anything, sweetie. I'm just trying to get you to look at this from every angle. A lot has changed in the past two years. You're both different people. _You_ are different, Freya. I just want you to think, _really_ think about what you want. If you can't bring yourself to give him what he wants, there's nothing wrong with that. But if there's a chance there might still be something there between the two of you, don't you think you owe it to yourself to find out? You're stronger than you were back then, but you still hold yourself back when it comes to relationships."

Piper nodded as Stella echoed her own words from days earlier. I couldn't argue with either of them on that. I had intentionally avoided anything more than a simple coffee date with a man. I wasn't naïve to the reasons why; it was just hard hearing it spoken out loud by my two closest friends.

"I just don't know."

"It's not like you're on a timeline," Piper added. "You don't have to make a decision until you're damn well good and read. We just want you to give yourself a fair shot at happiness, babe. True, _complete_ happiness."

# Chapter Twenty-Eight

### Freya

As I walked into the library, the smell of old books wrapped around my senses, filling my with the same peacefulness I felt every time I entered. The library was one of my favorite places on Earth. I could sit in there for hours and study, losing myself among the pages without much of a care in the world.

Climbing up the staircase to the second level, I turned the corner and walked toward the tables where I always studied. My steps halted for just a moment when I caught sight of a familiar face sitting at one of them, his dark head lowered as he leaned over a textbook, tapping his pen against the table top lightly. Just like every other time we had been in the same room together since his move to Florida, he seemed to have felt my presence. He looked up from his studies, those warm brown eyes instantly meeting mine as he lifted his hand in a hesitant wave. A small, unsure smile tugged the corner of his mouth up.

My feet finally unfroze and I made my way in his direction. "Hi."

"Hey."

"Can I sit?"

A flash of surprise flittered across his face "Uh...yeah, sure."

My stomach dropped at his less-than-enthusiastic invitation. "It's okay." I offered a smile I hoped didn't show the disappointment I was feeling. "I'll just find somewhere else."

As I turned to find another table, Parker grabbed my arm. "No!" he said loudly, earning whispered reprimands for being so vocal. "No," he continued in a quieter voice, still holding on to my arm. "It's fine, please sit. I was just a little thrown you'd actually want to sit with me is all."

Tension twisted my stomach in knots as I took a seat in front of Parker. I'd been practicing what I would say to him when we ran into each other again over and over since my conversation with Stella and Piper. I still wasn't sure if I could give him what he wanted, but having him so close and not talking was really starting to weigh on me. As I reached down to remove my books from my bag, Parker's voice pulled me from my musings.

"How have you been?"

"I've been good. Busy. Stella headed back a few days ago after dragging me all over town looking for the most ridiculous bridesmaid dress she could find."

Parker's eyes grew wide. "She's getting married? I had no idea."

"Yeah." I grinned, recalling Stella's excitement as we bounced from one boutique to another. "Michael proposed not too long ago. They're young, but—"

"When you know, you know," he finished, staring directly into my eyes with so much intensity I had to look away.

"Yeah," I mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. A subject change was in order. "How's your mom doing?"

Fondness seemed to radiate from Parker as a brilliant smile overtook his face at the mention of his mother. It was something I'd never seen back when we were together. His mom had always been a touchy subject, so seeing him happy to discuss her warmed something inside of me. "She's great. She just started working as the receptionist for a hair salon in town, and she's excited."

"That's fantastic. I'm so glad things are working out." We stared silently at each other before he spoke again.

"She left him."

"What?"

"My mom. She left my dad." He let out a humorless laugh as he shook his head. "Even after everything I did...everything I lost to try and protect her, she found out anyway."

My stomach plummeted at the thought of everything he may have had to deal with. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.

He shrugged casually, trying to play it off, but I could still see the lingering pain behind his eyes. "It's okay. It took a while, but she finally got the help she needed." His eyes were downcast as he twirled his pen between his fingers. "I came to you as soon as I could." He spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear. "I thought that maybe..." He exhaled heavily before looking back up at me. "I don't know what I thought. I guess I was just hoping that if I could just explain, make you understand, then we could get back what we lost...what I destroyed."

As I remembered back to that last night on the beach, my heart cracked. The memory of the devastation on his face made it hard to breathe, even after all this time.

"You'll never know how sorry I am for everything I put you through, Freya. If I could go back—"

"Parker, stop." I couldn't listen to him torture himself for the past any longer, not after everything I had learned. The deep-seated anger I'd carried around was no longer weighing on my chest. I had been able to forgive him for the past and in the process, find peace with it. I wanted to be able to do the same for him, despite the uncertainty I was still struggling with.

"When I told you I forgave you, I meant it. You don't have to keep apologizing. You were in an impossible situation; I understand that now. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I _do_ know I don't want things to keep going the way they have been. You were an important part of my life once. I want that back. I don't know if I'll ever be able to give you the kind of relationship you want, but I know I want you in my life again. I know that sounds horribly selfish, and I'm sorry, but it's all I have right now. If it's not enough, I understand and I wouldn't hold that against you."

"Freya." Parker spoke and I realized I'd been rambling, nervous to get out everything I wanted to say.

"Yeah?" I asked anxiously.

"I know it sounds selfish, but you have to know I'm willing to take anything you can give me."

A sigh of relief escaped my lips at the same time a tiny wave of guilt washed over me. It wasn't fair to ask him for what I was asking, but I just didn't have anything else to offer at that point.

"Are you sure? I know it's unfair—"

Parker's hand shot out and covered my own. A singe of electricity raced up my arm at the contact.

"I'm sure. If being your friend means having you in my life...well, I'm happy with that. More than happy, I swear."

We smiled at each other from across the table and I felt the tension begin to uncoil from my muscles as we reached an understanding, despite its shaky nature.

A few minutes of silence passed in silence before I finally found the nerve to ask the question that had been nagging at me. "What ever happened with Cassidy?"

The corner of Parker's mouth tipped up in a smirk that looked positively mischievous. "I dumped her the moment she lost what she was holding over me...very publically."

I felt my own smile mimicking his own as he continued. "Seeing her that pissed off and humiliated will probably be one of the highlights of my life for a very long time. I cut all those people out of my life right after graduation, but last I heard, she started hooking up with Seth. Rumor has it she got herself knocked up to try and lock him down."

A small gasp worked its way from my throat. "No! What happened after that?"

"Didn't work," he said quietly. "The minute Seth found out, he hightailed it out of Sommersfield. Her family shipped her off to live with relatives in Texas."

A part of me felt bad. Not for Cassidy, _never_ for her, but for the poor child that would have to live with her as a parent. I silently hoped she could pull her head out of her ass long enough to be a decent parent. The other part of me couldn't help but grin at karma's payback.

After that, we went about studying, occasionally stopping to talk about our lives. The hours passed companionably and by the time we walked out of the library, I felt good. When I got home, I dropped my stuff on the couch and walked out onto the balcony, watching the sun lower into the horizon while feeling a calmness envelop me. Nostalgia offered comfort I thought was long gone, and memories of mine and Parker's friendship before things had grown complicated settled in my chest. Maybe friendship was exactly what the both of us needed to move on from the past.

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

If Freya wanted friendship, that was exactly what I was going to give her. I'd immerse myself so deeply into her life that she wouldn't know how to function without me. Was there a chance that my plan might blow up in my face? Absolutely. But it was a chance I was more than willing to take. I hadn't been lying when I told Freya I wasn't giving up on getting her back. And if being her friend was what it took for her to realize we were meant for each other, then I'd bite that bullet, biding my time until that day came. I knew in my gut that the kind of love I felt for Freya was a once in a lifetime thing. I refused to give up on that.

"Someone's in a good mood," Caleb pointed out as I walked through the front door of our apartment. The smile I'd been wearing for the past three hours was still taking up residence on my face.

"I had a good study session."

"You look that happy because of studying?" he asked in bewilderment. "Is something wrong with you? Are you feeling sick?"

Letting out a laugh, I dropped my bag on the floor and folded myself down into the couch. "Freya showed up. We had a good talk."

"So you two got back together? Awesome, brother!" he said, smacking me on the shoulder in a congratulatory manner.

"No. We agreed to be friends."

He sat silent for several seconds, looking completely confused. "I don't get it. I thought you moved all the way here to win her back. Isn't being friend-zoned kind of defeating that purpose?"

"Trust me, this is all going to work out in my favor. Freya and I started out as friends when she first moved to Sommerspoint and that didn't last long. It's not going to take much time before she realizes she's still crazy about me, man. I finally got the in I've been needing. Now all that's left to do is wait her out."

"You sure about this? That girl can be stubborn as hell, and I never took you for a man who settled for less than what he wanted."

"I'm not, believe me. And I know Freya's got a stubborn streak a mile wide, but this'll work. We'll be friends. We'll get closer, and she'll start confiding in me again. I'll finally be able to earn her trust back."

"I hope you're right, Park. For your sake _and_ mine, because I'm not so sure how much fun you'll be to live with is this blows up in your face."

I leaned back, relaxing my head against the back of the couch. I wouldn't let myself consider that I might be wrong. I wouldn't think about the pain I'd feel if it all went south again. Hadn't Freya and I already suffered enough? It was time for us to finally start getting some good out of life.

"No worries, man. This is progress."

# Chapter Twenty-Nine

### Freya

Being friends with Parker again was surprisingly easy. Over the following weeks, we fell into a comfortable rhythm, enjoying our time together. I would occasionally look in his direction to find him staring at me with that familiar longing deep in his warm brown eyes, but he never once pushed for anything more. However, for all the good I was feeling, there was still stress. I still struggled every day to try and understand exactly what I was feeling for Parker. Trying to wade through my turbulent emotions was like fighting against the tide. One part of me craved his closeness while the other yelled that it would only lead to more heartbreak. The internal battle I was fighting grew more and more tedious every day.

It hadn't taken much for Piper to warm up to him after I shared his revelation with her and Stella, making it more comfortable for Caleb and Parker to come around on a semi-regular basis. By spending time with him, I was reminded of all the good times we'd had together back when our friendship had been simple. I'd forgotten how easy it was to laugh around him, so I pushed the flutters I felt in my belly every time his eyes met mine to the side, focusing instead on all the fun we were having.

My phone buzzed on the bed beside me. Dropping my pencil onto my textbook, I snatched it up and slid my thumb across the screen, giddiness filling my belly as Parker's name popped up.

_Parker: whatcha doing?_

_Me: studying._

_Parker: Ur always studying. Take a break w/ me._

A goofy smile spread across my face, stretching my cheeks as I typed out my response.

_Me: Can't. Not all of us are geniuses like you. Some of us have to work for it._

I saw the little response bubble pop up almost immediately after I hit send, and seconds later his response came through.

_Parker: Can't help it that I'm awesome. Come hang w/ me and I'll help you study._

It was a tempting offer; there was no denying that. As if he were able to read my mind, another message came through, this one containing a picture of the beach not too far from campus. I hadn't been to the beach in far too long. Between work, class, and my friends, I'd been stretched thin. Just the picture of the crystal-clear water was enough to have me climbing from my bed and sliding my feet into a pair of flip-flops. Damn that Parker for knowing my weakness.

_Me: Fine. But ur writing my next paper._

_Parker: Deal. Get your butt down here._

When I got to the beach a few minutes later, I kicked my sandals off, preferring to feel the warm sand between my toes as I walked. I spotted Parker just feet from the water's edge, his arms stretched out behind him, propping him up as he stared out at the water. As I got closer, I couldn't help but let my gaze wander over the straining muscles in his arms as he rested back. Despite the heat outside, a chill worked its way down my spine at the sight of those tantalizing dips and slopes. As I closed in on him, Parker turned his head to look back at me. The beautiful smile that graced his face at my appearance caused my breath to hitch. No one but Parker had ever looked at me like that, like just one glance at me made everything better.

"Hey," his deep voice spoke, pulling me from the trance his eyes had me in.

"Hi," I responded almost shyly. No matter how used I was to being around him, he still had the power to make me nervous and excited at the same time. He'd always had that hold on me; that hadn't changed with time.

Clearing my throat, I took a seat next to him on the sand, folding my legs Indian-style. "Just so you know, if I fail my next exam, I'm blaming you."

"You won't fail, gorgeous. I'll make sure of that." I'd given up on asking him to stop calling me that, because no matter how many times I asked, he still insisted on using my old nickname. As it were, since we were getting along, it didn't hold the same pain it had before. I no longer minded when Parker called me _gorgeous_. If I was being honest with myself I actually liked it...a lot.

"Someone's feeling cocky."

"Not cocky." He laughed, bumping his shoulder into mine. "Just stating a fact. Besides, how can you still question me after I rocked that _Crucible_ paper back in high school?"

I laughed as I remembered that assignment and how, at first, I'd dreaded being teamed up with Parker. "I forgot all about that!" I giggled. "If I remember correctly, you and I weren't even talking when that assignment was due. I was so pissed, thinking I was going to fail because of you."

The sun bounced off Parker's lip piercing as he turned to grin at me. "But then I saved the day with that stellar piece of literary gold."

I let out a little snort and reminded him, "You'd promised A-plus work. We only got an A-minus."

"Damn, you're a ball-buster, aren't you?" He gave me a mischievous wink before we turned back toward the water. "I've missed this, you know?"

"Missed what?"

"Sitting here, watching the sunset with you. It hasn't been the same since you left. Watching by myself never felt as good as when you were next to me."

I remained silent for several seconds, the two of us looking on as the brightness of the day began to fade into the evening. "You really watched it every day?" I turned my head, my gaze studying his profile. The humor had washed away. He looked almost somber.

"Almost," he spoke softly. "Some days were harder than others, and I couldn't bring myself to go down there. But when the pain of missing you became too much, I would go down to our beach and tell myself that, wherever you were, you were doing the same thing at that very moment. It helped a lot, thinking we were still sharing the sunsets even though you were gone."

I opened my mouth to speak only to come up empty. I didn't know what to say. That battle going on inside of me grew strong once again. When he said things like that, it was so hard not to fall back into the way things were before. He knew me so much better than anyone else, even with all the time that had passed. After moving to Florida, I'd spent a long time rebuilding those walls around my heart that Parker had demolished. Since he was back, it felt like they were buckling again.

"Parker—" I started, not sure whether I was going to ask him to stop or keep going.

When he looked back at me, the sad smile he gave caused my chest to clench. "You don't have to say anything. I know we're just friends, and I'm okay with that. I just needed you to know what it was like."

I nodded in understanding, keeping my eyes locked with his until he finally turned away. We spent the remainder of the sunset in comfortable silence. It wasn't until darkness descended on the beach and we stood to make our way home that I realized just how much I'd missed watching them with him, as well.

* * *

"Move your pretty little ass, Linden!" Piper hollered from the living room as I put the final touches on my makeup and gave my hair one last fluff. "Pre-club ritual started five minutes ago!"

Once again, we were heading to Hurricane. Piper claimed she was in the mood to dance, and Caleb said he was in the mood to watch his girlfriend shake it on the dance floor. Walking as fast as I could on my heels, I hurried down the hallway and into the kitchen where Piper had two shot glasses lined up for me. I downed both in record time. "Looking good, sweets," she chirped as she took in my strapless red dress. I typically went for more coverage than the dress provided, but for some reason, I was feeling particularly daring. Maybe it was the prolonged effect of having spent so much time with Parker lately, but I felt the need to show a little skin just to see if his eyes would light up at the sight of it.

Goose bumps broke out on my skin at the sight of Parker standing near Caleb's car. His back was to me as Piper and I walked down the stairs, laughing at something Caleb was saying, and I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering down to where his jeans hugged his butt in absolute perfection. I'd barely pulled my gaze away from the tantalizing sight when the sound of our heels clicking against the concrete drew their attention to us. Just as I'd hoped, Parker's eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of me. I reveled in the heat of his gaze, watching in wonder as the dark brown grew almost black the closer I came. A spark of heat shot through me at how those dark pools traveled from my head, all the way down my feet and back up again. I had no doubt my cheeks were as red as my dress by the time his eyes met mine.

"You look beautiful," he whispered hoarsely in my ear as he leaned in to plant a kiss on my cheek. The familiar scent of his cologne overtook my senses and I remembered just how much I'd loved that smell back in high school. Two years of memories were nothing compared to how he smelled standing right in front of me, so close I could feel the heat from his body.

I pulled back slightly and took him in. "T-thank you," I stuttered, having grown momentarily overwhelmed by his presence. "You don't look so bad yourself." And he didn't. The deep gray of his button-down shirt did wonders for his tanned complexion. A day's worth of stubble covered his cheeks and chin, giving him a somewhat rugged appearance. His dark hair had been pushed back from his forehead, the silky-looking strands just begging me to run my fingers through it.

"So..." I heard Caleb drawl from behind me and turned to see him with his arm thrown over Piper's shoulders. "Are you going out tonight, or are we just going to stand in the parking lot and watch you two eye-fuck all night long? Don't get me wrong, it's hot as Hell, but the sexual tension is a little suffocating and I need a drink."

He let out an _oof_ as Piper's elbow made contact with his ribs. I released an embarrassed giggle at his hunched-over form as he gasped for air before eventually turning back to look at Parker again. His smile stole my breath as his hand came up and his rough fingers grazed my cheek. "I still love it when you do this."

"Do what?" I breathed.

"Blush like crazy when you get embarrassed. I bet the tips of your ears are on fire right now, aren't they?"

If they hadn't been before, they certainly were after that remark. Not knowing what to say in response, I simply smiled back and turned to climb into the back seat of Caleb's car. He'd finally recovered enough to be able to drive and the four of us took off for the club.

Piper and I wound our way through the mass of writhing bodies toward the center of the dance floor as soon as we were inside. The heavy bass vibrated its way through the floor and up my legs as I moved to the seductive beat of the music. It was so easy to get lost, to forget everything as my body swayed.

When the fast, thumping rhythm gave way to something a little slower, I opened my eyes as I danced. My gaze immediately locked on to Parker's as he stood against the railing one level up, one hand holding a beer and the other clenched around the pole as he watched me. He lifted the hand with the bottle in a little wave and I grinned back, his gaze locking mine in place as I moved. It wasn't until Piper spoke that I was able to free myself of his attention and look away.

"You two seem to be getting along well," she spoke over the music as she took my hand and danced around me.

"We are," I called back.

"It's been, what? Two months? And you haven't killed him _or_ had a breakdown. I'd call that success."

My head tipped back in laughter. "It's been good," I told her after she spun me around.

"You know, he still looks at you like he wants to eat you alive," she remarked, looking over my shoulder in his direction. I didn't need to turn around to know he was still staring. I could feel his eyes on my skin like a brand.

"I know. It's...intense."

"Intense good, or intense bad?"

I remained quiet for a few beats, giving that some thought. "I haven't quite figured that out yet. I'll let you know when I do."

"'Scuse me," Caleb's tall frame pushed through the crowd until he got to us and wrapped his arms around Piper. "You mind if I steal my girl for a few minutes, Freya?"

I wasn't given the chance to answer before Caleb's mouth descended on Piper's and the two of them were making-out on the dance floor like horny teenagers.

My cheeks heated as I turned away from their public display of affection. I started squeezing my way through the crowd when a strong hand wrapped around my elbow, stopping me. Before I could turn around, the hand on my arm gave it a tug and I was propelled backwards, my back crashing into a strong, solid chest. I froze in place as the familiar cologne wafted up around me.

"Dance with me." Chills ran down my arms at the sound of Parker's guttural voice in my ear. In the span of less than a minute, Parker had taken over three of my major senses. His voice in my ear drowned out everything else. His scent made me want to bury my face in his neck and never move. The feel of his fingertips lightly skating down my arms cause my body to tremble. I wanted to turn around so I could see him, so I could press my lips against his and taste him. At that very moment, frozen on the dance floor with Parker pressed firmly against my back, I wanted him to take me over completely.

His hands snaked around my waist and pulled me impossibly closer against him as he moved to the music. I couldn't help my body's reaction to melt against him as I became pliable, swaying my hips as he directed my every movement.

One song morphed into another, then another as we moved against each other. Everyone around me faded into the background until it felt like we were the only ones in the whole club.

"You feel so good against me," he growled in my ear. His hands on my hips squeezed, his fingers digging into my skin just a touch from being painful as he spun me around to face him. Those gorgeous eyes looked black as night as he stared down at me. His nostrils flared in desire, and I had to clench my thighs together against the tingles that shot through me.

I lifted my arms so they wrapped around his neck and ran my fingers through the soft strands of hair on the back of his head. The tiny voice in the back of my head, screaming out in warning that I was traveling down the path of imminent heartbreak, was blocked out by my body's reaction to him. When he buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply, my knees buckled. If it hadn't been for his strong arms around me, I would have melted into a puddle on the floor. His body quaked against mine as he breathed me in.

"God, I've missed you," he hissed almost painfully. "I've missed touching you, smelling you..." His tongue darted out and pressed against my neck and I couldn't contain the low moan that forced its way past my lips. "...tasting you. I've missed _us_."

"I've missed you, too," I sighed, my words coming out so quietly I was sure he hadn't heard me. But when his head came up and his eyes reflected every single emotion he felt, I knew he had. My heart stalled before kick-starting again in a faster pace. He opened his mouth to speak just as a loud squeal sounded from behind me, cutting off whatever Parker was about to say.

"Shot!" Piper yelled as she grabbed my arm and began dragging me from the dance floor, completely oblivious to the fact that she'd just burst the bubble Parker and I had been living in for the past several minutes. "We need shots, STAT!"

I shot Parker an apologetic look over my shoulder as I was led away. The mischievous smirk on his face told me he wasn't upset as he and Caleb followed behind us. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in _way_ over my head as we made our way up the small set of stairs which led to the bar area. Piper placed our order and I threw back one tequila shot, then another, and another in an attempt to drown that nagging little voice in my head. I didn't want to overthink anything; I just wanted to _feel_. I allowed the alcohol to work its magic, washing away my worries and concerns as it warmed me from the inside out.

# Chapter Thirty

### Freya

The hours ticked by in a whirl of laughter and dancing. I'd switched to water when the effects of the tequila started making my brain a little too foggy. Every time Piper and I wandered back to the table after a trip to the dance floor, Parker was there to pull me into the empty chair beside him. He spent the entire night keeping me close to him and I was secretly thrilled by his attentions.

"You thirsty?" He leaned in and asked in my ear, causing me to shiver at his closeness.

My buzz had long since dwindled and my feet were throbbing from dancing in high heels all night. The last thing I wanted to do was move from my chair to go to the bar. "Water," I pleaded, my mouth feeling dry from the earlier alcohol.

"You got it, gorgeous," he answered with his signature devilish grin. "Be right back."

As he made his way toward the bar, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He really was amazing to look at.

The chair Parker had just vacated shifted beside me and I turned to see Piper staring back at me with a shit-eating grin on her face.

"You two might as well just sneak off to the bathroom and pound one out. You could cut the sexual tension between you with a damn knife!"

"Shut it, you lush," I laughed as I took in her slightly hazy light brown eyes. Obviously, Piper hadn't cut herself off when I had.

""Oh, I know!" Piper shouted, smacking her hand down on the table like she'd just had the most brilliant idea in the world. "You two should _totally_ have sex!"

My cheeks and ears heated as I laughed nervously, scanning the area around us to make sure no one heard. "Stop worrying about our friends' sex lives and concentrate on your own," Caleb scolded playfully as he pulled Piper into his lap. "You've got your work cut out for you tonight, woman."

"Please," she scoffed as she whacked him in the shoulder. "You'll be lucky if I stay awake during the whole thing."

"Meh." He shrugged casually as he took a pull of his beer. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"You two are insane." I giggled. Just as they stood to head for the dance floor, the chair next to me scraped across. Parker set a glass of ice water down in front of me before caging me into my chair, one arm across the back, the other on the table.

"How drunk are you?"

I looked at him, confused by his off-the-wall question.

"Huh?"

"How drunk are you?" he repeated, leaning in to rub his nose along my jaw.

"N-not very," I stuttered as my eyes fell closed. "I quit drinking a while ago. Why?"

His fingers caressed my chin as he tipped my face to meet him. "Because I'm about to go out on a seriously shaky limb here and ask you to come home with me, and I want to make sure you're in your right mind completely before you answer."

"You...what?" My synapses misfired at his bold statement and I couldn't formulate a response.

"Come home with me, Freya." The lust was shining in his eyes as he focused all of his attention on me, but that wasn't all that was there. There was also a look of pained desperation, like the thought of my refusal would cut him to the quick. "I'm not above begging, baby. You have no clue how badly I want you right now, how I _always_ want you. I can't fucking think straight when you're around." His forehead fell against mine as he clenched his eyes shut. "Please say yes. _Please_. I need you so fucking bad."

* * *

_P arker_

* * *

_I f she turns me down, it may very well kill me._

I could see the apprehension in her beautiful blue eyes as she studied me. It gutted me that the reason for that apprehension was because of the pain I'd caused her in the past. All of her uncertainties, all of her fear of having her heart crushed again, were my fault. I couldn't blame her one bit for being leery, but that didn't lessen my need to have her in every way. Just like I'd told her years before, Freya was necessary. That was never going to change.

My heart beat so hard I was sure she could hear it through the loud music and chatter that surrounded us. I feared it would beat right through my chest if she didn't say something soon. What was I thinking, asking her to come home with me? I'd promised her my friendship. I swore not to push her but I hadn't been able to help myself. Being around her on a regular basis was hard enough, but seeing her at the club...well, it was a delicious agony I just couldn't resist. It wasn't just because she looked breathtaking in that red dress or that watching her move on the dance floor was something a dying man would give his last moments to see. It was of how carefree she looked, how she responded to every single one of my touches that did me in.

When I lifted my forehead from hers, I watched as her eyes opened and the crystal blue shined back at me, reflecting the same need I felt. She wanted me, too. When her tongue darted out and ran over her full, pink bottom lip I had to keep myself from leaning in to taste her. If I hadn't been sitting, I surely would have fallen to my knees from the one single word that passed those lips on a sigh.

"Okay."

I wanted to throw my fist in the air in triumph. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and run out of the club before she could change her mind. But I had to be certain first.

"Okay?" I asked, still feeling somewhat stunned by her response.

"Yeah."

"You sure, gorgeous? I don't want you to have any doubts."

When she smiled that brilliant white smile, I couldn't help it; I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. "Are you trying to talk me out of it?" she asked against my lips and I could feel her laughter.

"No! Hell no." I jumped from my chair and grabbed hold of her hand, pulling her through the club as fast as I could move. I had to check myself once or twice when I felt her stumble in those heels. My patience having run its course, I pulled her to me and wrapped an arm around her waist, lifting her against my side so her feet barely met the floor.

"Wait," she started as soon as we exited the club and I led her toward a waiting cab. "What about Caleb and Piper?"

Whipping my phone out of my pocket with my free hand, I kept hold of her with my other as I typed out a quick text.

_Me: Cabbing home with Freya. Stay at Piper's tonight or die.... seriously._

Without waiting for a response, I slid the phone back in my pocket and moved for the cab. "All done. Let's go."

The sound of her giggling as I all but shoved her into the back of the cab warmed my chest and caused me to smile. I couldn't wait to get this girl home. And she'd be lucky if I ever let her out again.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

In the span of a few seconds, the atmosphere around us shifted. The sexual tension was still there in full force, but where we had been laughing and smiling as we left the club, at that moment, Parker sat pressed against the door of the cab, his jaw clenched and his fingers opening and closing in tight fists. My heart plummeted at the thought he had possibly changed his mind.

"Um..." I dragged out, twisting my hands together in my lap. "Are you okay?"

All I got in response was a quick nod. I felt my self-confidence dwindle with each passing moment.

"Are you mad?"

His demeanor softened as he looked over at me, the heat still evident in his eyes. "No, sweetheart. I'm not mad, but if I touch you right now, I'm liable to lose control and never stop."

My entire body heated at his confession and I suddenly _wanted_ him to lose control. Just as I opened my mouth to say so, the cab came to a halt.

"We're here," the driver announced in a raspy smoker's voice.

Parker reached into his pocket and pulled his wallet out, tossing a few bills to the driver before opening the door and helping me from the back, never releasing my hand from his own. Neither of us spoke as we ascended the stairs to his apartment. He used his free hand to rummage in his pocket for his keys and unlocked the door, pulling me behind him. The sound of the deadbolt sliding into place echoed through the space, sending my heart rate into overdrive. Parker's hands and lips were on my skin before my eyes had time to adjust to the dark room.

"Tell me to stop and I will," he spoke against my ear before giving the lobe a soft nip with his teeth. "At any point."

"Mmm, don't stop," I moaned, my head falling back at the intoxicating feel of his body against mine. That seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. Sliding his hands down my thighs, he cupped the backs of my knees and hauled me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he moved toward his bedroom.

I could feel how hard he was through his jeans as each step he took pressed his erection into my center, sending shockwaves of pleasure I hadn't felt in two long years through my body. The instant we entered his room, he kicked the door shut behind him and dropped me on the bed, causing me to whimper at the loss of his touch.

"Christ, gorgeous," he growled as he crawled across my body. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me, right now?"

"Please," I begged wantonly, needing to feel his body against mine more than anything else. "Please, Parker."

"What do you need, sweetheart?" he whispered in my ear before trailing feather-light kisses across my neck and collarbone. As he hovered over me on his hands and knees, it felt like there were miles separating us. I was desperate for him.

"You," I said on an exhale. "I need you."

I blinked rapidly, wracked by a massive wave of emotion my confession had just caused. I needed him to the point that it almost scared me. Before I could wrap my head around what I'd just admitted, he was off the bed and yanking his clothes off like a mad man. I had no time to bask in the glory of Parker's delectable naked form before his hands were on me, stripping me of every article of clothing. Once he finished, he hovered over me once again, staring at me with so much devotion I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"You have me. You've had me since the moment I walked onto that beach and saw you sitting there looking so sad. You'll have me forever, baby."

He entered me in one quick, hard thrust and I cried out at the combination of pleasure and pain it caused. He filled me so perfectly, so completely that the sensation of it all was almost too much to bear and I had to clench my eyes shut.

"Did I hurt you?"

When I finally opened my eyes and looked up at his face, the concern staring back at me had me reaching up to run my fingers along his jaw.

"No. Please don't stop."

Parker pulled out slowly so as not to hurt me before gently pushing back inside. I felt my body relax with every slow thrust he made. I had no concept of time as he made love to me slowly. It could have been minutes or hours that passed, but the pressure low in my belly grew stronger and stronger, and his gentle movements weren't enough.

"Faster, Parker. Harder."

He granted my request, pulling out and pushing back in so hard my back arched off the bed and my head fell back into the pillows, a deep, guttural moan escaping from my throat. I panted his name over and over as he continued to move. I felt myself getting closer to release every time he plunged back into me.

One of Parker's hands wrapped in my hair, directing my head so we were looking into each other's eyes. "God, Freya," he groaned. "I love you so much."

I gasped at his declaration as his hips sped up. "Love you so fucking much, baby. Never stopped."

" _Parker_ ," I whimpered.

"Don't leave me." I couldn't respond. I had no idea what to say. His eyes pleaded with me as his body took everything mine had to give. The pleasure building inside of me coupled with the fierce look in his eyes had rendered me speechless. "Don't leave me again, baby. I can't live without you. I don't want to."

With that, I shattered completely, crying out his name as wave after wave of the most intense pleasure I'd ever felt pulled me under. My release was so long, so forceful, that by the time I started coming down, I was gasping for much needed air. Three more thrusts was all it took for Parker to follow me over the edge, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder as he groaned with his own climax. His arms shook before finally giving out. As he rolled to his side, he snaked his arms around me, holding on tightly like he was afraid I'd disappear if he let go. Sleep eventually tugged at my consciousness insistently as my mind reeled. Euphoria and fear battled against each other in my mind in those last few conscious seconds.

As sleep pulled me under, I couldn't help but question which one was going to win out.

# Chapter Thirty-One

### Parker

I could practically hear her struggling with her thoughts.

I'd been lying with her wrapped in my arms for close to an hour. I worked to keep my breathing steady so she would think I was asleep, but the truth was I'd been awake the whole time. It was impossible to sleep when what I'd been craving for the past couple of years was finally in my bed, her sweet, warm body pressed against me. I spent the time studying every curve and slope of her face, counting every single freckle that spread across her nose. I wanted to memorize her every feature. When she woke up I knew, deep in my gut, that she would start overthinking everything, analyzing what had happened between us to death until she could come up with a logical reason to shut herself down once again.

I tightened my arms around her waist when she shifted in my hold, trying to slip out quietly.

"Been wondering when you were going to try and make your move," I whispered in her ear. Her body grew stiff as a board for several seconds before she turned to look at me over her shoulder.

"You've been awake this whole time?"

"Yep." I couldn't help but grin. She looked so cute all wide-eyed and busted. "I've been listening to those wheels spinning in your head for the last hour."

She huffed out a long breath before shifting in my arms again. I let her go this time, but only because it was obvious she needed a little space. I'd give her a few feet but over my dead body was she leaving the apartment. What had happened between us tonight had taken intensity to an entirely new level. I got that she was freaked, but we needed to talk through it.

A smile spread across my lips as she picked up a t-shirt from my floor and gave it a sniff test before pulling it over her head. I loved that she was wearing my shirt even though the damn thing fell to the middle of her thighs, covering up all that beautiful, naked skin.

"First of all, let me just start off by saying I'm clean." Freya's brows furrowed in confusion as she rested against my desk. Obviously she wasn't planning on coming back to bed anytime soon, so I climbed from under the covers and slid on a pair of boxer briefs. I almost considered throwing on a pair of jeans when I saw her bright blue eyes checking me out. Yeah, I figured I'd stick with just the underwear.

"We didn't use protection, baby. I'm clean, I swear. I haven't been with anyone since the last time I was with you—"

"Really?!" Her eyes widened to the size of salad plates.

"Don't look so surprised. I told you, you're it for me."

"This is all just—" She ran her hands through her hair anxiously. I knew exactly what she was about to say, and although it twisted my gut into knots, it didn't lessen my determination. "It's moving so fast. I need some time to think."

I tried so hard to remain composed, I really did. But it was damn hard to do when I stood there watching her backslide right in front of me. My anger fueled me to fight for her, for us.

"That's bullshit and you know it, gorgeous."

Her eyes flicked to me in surprise before narrowing into angry slit. "Excuse me?"

"You don't need time to think. Say what's really going through your mind. You're freaking out and want space so you can talk yourself out of this. You're getting inside your head, trying to convince yourself that what happened tonight was a mistake."

"Can you blame me?" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Past example doesn't really bode well for us, Parker. We were a disaster!"

My anger exploded at that. "We were fucking perfect!" I yelled.

"How can you say that? After all the pain we went through, how can you possibly think we were perfect?"

"Because those months we were together were the happiest I've ever been, and I know it was the same for you. You can't deny that. I felt it every time we touched. I saw it every time I looked at you."

"We were dependent on each other."

"No! We were in love; there's a fucking difference. I'm not going to stand here and let you downplay that. We loved each other. You're scared, I get that. Hell, baby, I'm scared, too. But I'm more terrified of what my future's going to look like if you're not in it. I never stopped loving you, and you can try to convince yourself otherwise, but you never stopped loving me either. I _know_ you didn't. That's what has you so freaked out."

"Stop," she pleaded and the agony in her voice broke my heart. I couldn't keep the distance between us any longer. I had to touch her. Closing the space, I grabbed hold of her face and stared down at her, every ounce of the love I felt for her reflecting in my eyes. I knew she saw it with the way her eyes widened, with the hitch in her breath.

"Fight for us, baby. I'm begging you, please fight for us. Love like ours isn't something you get more than once in a lifetime. Don't give up on this."

She squeezed her eyes closed and her hands came up to wrap around my wrists. For a second fear, took over, fear that she was going to pull away, that she was going to deny what I knew in my heart she felt. But when she opened them and looked at me, _really_ looked at me, I saw the same emotion I had reflecting back at me in those watery, brilliant blue depths and I felt hope. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the shrill ring of a cellphone. I wanted to growl in frustration. I wanted to find whoever it was who had just interrupted us and rip them apart limb from limb.

"What the hell?"

"Ignore it," I insisted, trying to get her focus back on me.

"Parker, it's three in the morning. It might be an emergency." She pulled away from me and began rummaging around on my bedroom floor. She finally located her purse and pulled her phone out, her brows furrowing as she looked at the screen.

"Who is it?"

She shook her head. "I don't know." Her finger swiped across the screen and she brought it up to her ear. "Hello...? Yes, I'm Freya." My chest seized as all the color drained from her face. "What?" she asked on a choked sob before her legs gave out and she collapsed on the bed. I was next to her in an instant, wrapping her in my arms to hold her up as tears began pouring from her eyes.

I took the phone from her hand, ready to kill whoever was on the other line. "Who the fuck is this?" I snarled through the phone. All I could see was red. I wanted to do was reach through the phone and murder the person who'd just hurt her.

The man on the other line stuttered nervously. "I-I'm sorry?"

"Who the fuck is this and what the hell did you just say to Freya?"

"Son, I'm Dr. Varger. I work with Freya's father." My stomach plummeted as he spoke. "May I ask who I'm speaking with?"

"P-Parker," I stumbled, a million worst-case scenarios running through my mind as to why this man was calling in the middle of the night. I looked down at Freya, curled in my embrace as she cried uncontrollably. "I'm her boyfriend. She's a mess, so what the hell's going on?"

"Parker, I need you to listen carefully. James had a heart attack earlier tonight—"

"Oh, shit."

"Son, please. I need you to pay attention. Freya's going to need you right now." His words settled inside me. He was right. In the span of a few seconds, Freya had completely broken down. I needed to be there for her.

"Sorry, I'm listening."

"He was at the hospital when it occurred so they were able to get him help right away..."

That was a good thing. That had to be a good thing, right? Christ, he had to be okay. Freya had already lost her mother. That damn near destroyed her. She couldn't lose her father, too.

"I-is he going to be okay?"

"He's stable right now. He's going to require coronary artery bypass surgery, but he's strong and in relatively good health. The cardiologist is hopeful he'll be able make a full recovery."

I listened for a few more minutes as Dr. Varger went over everything that was about to happen and why. Most of it went right over my head, but I tried my best to absorb everything he was telling me so I could use it to comfort Freya. After disconnecting the call, I wrapped Freya in my arms and tried to soothe her the best I could. She needed a rock through all of this, and I was determined to be that for her.

* * *

_F reya_

* * *

The next several hours went by in a haze of worry so heavy I felt as though I were moving through a dream, that it wasn't real. After carrying me back to my apartment, Parker filled Piper and Caleb in on what was happening with my father. Piper wrapped me in a tight hug as I continued to cry silent tears then went about packing my suitcase. Parker and Caleb got online to book me the earliest flight possible back to Washington so I could get to my dad. I didn't have the energy to fight Parker when he insisted on coming with me. The truth was I kind of needed him. I didn't want to do this alone, and having Parker with me at least offered me a tiny bit of comfort.

They went about handling everything as I struggled in a fog of fear and sadness. Before I knew it, we were at the airport, getting ready to board the plane that would take me back to the one place I'd never wanted to see again. All my thoughts were on my father. I couldn't possibly care that I'd once sworn to never step foot in Sommerspoint again. I'd fly to a war-torn, third-world country for my dad it that was what it took. I just needed him to be okay.

I let Parker guide me to where I needed to be, leaning on him, absorbing his strength to get me through. I couldn't recall the majority of the five-hour flight. I vaguely recalled words like 'bypass' and 'hopeful' and 'strong', but the words that stuck with me the most were 'bypass surgery'. I knew he was trying to assuage my fears, but all I could think about was some surgeon opening my father's chest so he could cut into his heart. What if something went wrong? What if the surgeon messed up somehow? _What if, what if, what if._ The what ifs were what made it hard to breathe.

By the time we touched down in Washington, I was an even bigger mess than when I got the initial phone call. God bless Parker, though. He was my pillar, my rock. I had no clue if I could have made that trip without him. He grabbed our bags and rushed us out of the airport and into a cab, spitting out the name and address of the hospital. At some point during the cab ride, Parker must have texted Dr. Varger that we were on our way, because when the cab pulled up, the well-dressed older man stood outside the hospital entrance, waiting for us.

I had the door open before the cab had a chance to come to a complete stop. "How is he?"

"He's in recovery, dear. The surgery went very well." Parker grabbed our bags and we followed my father's friend through the hospital corridors. Even with that tiny bit of relief, I knew I wouldn't breathe a full breath until I was able to see my father with my own eyes.

# Chapter Thirty-Two

### Freya

" _D addy_."

My father's head turned slowly and he gave me a tired, weak smile. "Hey, baby girl. You're a sight for sore eyes."

At the sound of his raspy voice, I lost it. On a sob, I rushed to his bedside and wrapped my hands around his cold arm, afraid of touching anything else in the fear I'd unplug something crucial or hurt him in some way. Sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my father to come out of recovery and wake up was positively grueling. Each second that ticked by felt like an eternity. I yo-yoed back and forth between pacing and clinging to Parker as he hugged me like my life depended on it.

I rested my head on the side of my father's bed, finally taking my first real breath in hours as he gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"I was s-so sc-scared," I cried.

"Shhh. It's okay, honey. I'm okay. I'm so sorry I scared you."

My head shot up and I grasped his hand in mine. "Oh, my God. Don't apologize. You had a heart attack, Dad. That's not your fault."

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I promise."

He looked so frail lying in that hospital bed with tubes and wires coming from his pale body. Lifting his hand, I pressed it to my cheek, so thankful I still got to see him, touch him. The knowledge that I still had my father was overwhelming.

"I was so scared I'd never get to see you again."

Despite my father's weak frame, his voice came out strong. "Listen to me, baby girl. You didn't lose me. I'm right here."

And I was so, _so_ thankful for that. But it was still hard seeing my father in a hospital bed.

"You aren't here all by yourself, are you?" The fact that he was lying there after having a heart attack and was concerned about _me_ warmed my heart. "Please tell me you brought Piper and didn't take that trip by yourself."

I gave my Dad a reassuring smile. "I'm not by myself. I...I'm actually with Parker," I admitted hesitantly. I couldn't miss the surprise on his pale face.

"Well, that's...unexpected." He gave a little laugh before cringing in pain at the movement in his chest. I squeezed his hand and waited for the pain to subside. I'd explained that Parker and I had reached a place where we were able to be civil with each other, but I hadn't gotten into detail about how our friendship had continued to grow into something different with every passing day.

"He's actually been kind of great since I got the call. He had Piper pack my stuff and got the tickets and everything I wasn't able to concentrate on. I don't think I would have been able to function enough to handle everything on my own."

"I'm glad, sweetie." My father gave a tired smile. His eyelids began to droop as his pain meds took over.

Leaning over his bed, I placed a kiss on his forehead. "Get some rest, Dad. I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

"Okay, honey."

Within a minute, he was out cold. I walked on tired feet back to the waiting room. Parker stood from his chair and came toward me, wrapping me in a warm embrace I couldn't help but melt into. Where I had no strength, he provided everything I needed.

"How is he?" he asked, his lips pressed against the top of my head.

"He's okay," I mumbled into his chest, breathing in his scent and letting it envelop me. "He's asleep, but I think he'll be all right."

"Do you want to go home and try to get some rest?"

I shook my head against his chest before pulling away slightly. "I'm going to stay, but you don't have to wait with me. I'm sure you'd like to go see your mom."

Parker brushed my hair behind my ear. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. I'm right here with you." He led me over to a small little loveseat in the corner of the room, pulling me down so my head was resting on his lap. "Why don't you close your eyes and get some sleep. I'll wake you if there's any need."

"I'm okay," I mumbled, trying to fight the heaviness of my eyelids. I wanted to be awake if the doctor came by for anything, but the adrenaline had worn off and was making it hard to stay awake. "I'm just going to rest my eyes for a bit, that's all."

"Whatever you need, baby." The soothing feel of his fingers brushing through my hair eventually became too much and the darkness took over completely, pulling me into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Three days had passed where I refused to leave the hospital. Parker stayed with me almost constantly, only leaving to get us food or coffee. When my father was eventually moved to his own room, I would spend the night sleeping in the uncomfortable recliner next to his bed. Parker tried to insist he was fine sleeping in the waiting room, but after the first night, I convinced him to go to his mother's house to sleep. Each morning I woke and stumbled out of my father's room in search of coffee, he was there with two piping hot cups and a bag of pastries for breakfast. He was a lifesaver.

My father was able to stay awake a little bit longer each day, fighting with me to go home, saying the recliner was a poor substitute to a real bed and I needed a good night's sleep. I finally relented at the end of the third day, but only because Dad insisted I needed a shower, that my unkempt appearance was starting to scare the hospital staff. I'd washed up in the hospital bathrooms the best I could, but my hair was a ratty, matted mess, and I couldn't deny that I was starting to feel a little gross.

The sounds coming from the kitchen of my father's house startled me as Parker and I walked through the front door. When a little, dark-haired woman poked her head out of the kitchen I almost didn't recognize her. Parker's mother looked so different from the handful of times I'd seen her while Parker and I dated.

"Mrs. Owens? What are you doing here?"

She came bustling into the entryway and pulled me into a fierce hug. When she pulled back and looked at me, I finally realized the difference in her appearance. Her dark brown eyes, so much like Parker's, shined bright, so full of light. She was completely put together, so different from the broken woman I'd met in the past. It was like seeing a totally different person.

"Oh, honey," she crooned as she took hold of my cheeks. "Parker called and told me what happened to your father. I wanted to help, so I made a few meals you can freeze and reheat easily. I didn't want you having to worry about cooking or anything. I hope you don't mind. The front door was unlocked so I let myself in so I could stock your kitchen."

"N-no," I stuttered in shock at the change of the woman standing before me. "It's fine. Thank you so much."

"Of course. If you need anything, please just let me know. I'm here to help any way I can."

"Thank you," I smiled tiredly. "I'm just going to take a shower."

"Okay, dear."

I started for the stairs but felt a tug on my arm. I turned to find Parker staring at me, his eyes brimming with concern. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just need a shower like you wouldn't believe." I offered a reassuring smile and he leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead.

"Holler if you need anything."

"I'm good. Why don't you visit with your mom for a while? I'm sure she misses you." I headed up the stairs at the sound of Parker and his mother catching up with each other. I stood under the hot spray, letting the water wash away days of grime and hospital smells until it eventually ran cold. I managed to towel-dry my body and hair just enough to slip on a pair of pajamas before climbing under the sheets of my old bed. Within a few minutes, I was out completely.

When I woke, the sky outside my window was still pitch black. The red digital numbers on my alarm clock showed it was just after midnight. My sleep-addled brain didn't register that there was someone in the bed with me until I shifted and the arm banded around my stomach tightened slightly.

"Hey, you're awake." Parker's voice was raspy from sleep and the sound surrounded me like a warm blanket.

"I thought you'd be at your mom's," I whispered.

His arm tightened and I felt him nuzzled into the back of my hair. His voice was quiet as he spoke into the darkness of my room. "I couldn't leave you."

I was thankful he was still there. My mind was a jumbled mess when it came to our relationship, and how we'd left things before my father's heart attack didn't help matters. But I knew, deep down, I couldn't have made it through the past few days without him. No one else could have comforted me the way he did.

I placed my hand on his arm and squeezed. "Thank you for being here."

"I'd do anything for you, Freya."

Several minutes passed in silence before Parker spoke again. "I've been giving a lot of thought to what you told me the night of Stella's party." My body tensed against his as he continued to speak. "You were right when you told me that we shouldn't depend on someone else for your happiness. But you were also wrong. You said we were solely responsible for making our lives better, and that's true, but only to a certain extent..." He trailed off for a minute before continuing.

"You see, I can learn to live a good life without you. Hell, I might even feel happiness. But that happiness, that good life, would only be a small scrap of what it would it could be if we were together."

"Parker," I whispered. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to keep talking or stop. My heart beat frantically as he held me impossibly tighter against him.

"When you meet the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, they make you whole. They're your other half. Yes, life can be good, but once you meet your other half, it's fucking _wonderful_. That's not an unhealthy dependency, Freya. That's what soulmate's do for each other. That's what you do for me."

I had no words. And deep in my gut, I knew he wasn't expecting me to have a response. He just wanted me to hear what he had to say. He wanted me to actually _listen_.

As I absorbed every word he'd just spoken, Parker's breathing finally slowed as he fell asleep wrapped around me. His words echoed through my head for hours until my eyes finally drifted closed as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

# Chapter Thirty-Three

### Freya

"Are you sure you're comfortable?"

I reached behind my father, fluffing the pillow under his head for the third time. After spending the past seven days in the hospital, Dad was finally released to come home the day before. He still had several weeks of recovery time ahead of him, but he already looked stronger, healthier.

"If you fluff that damn pillow one more time, I going to lose my mind, Freya." I released the pillow and stepped back, laughing at my father's sour expression. "You've been babying me since I got home yesterday. Now, I love you, sweetheart. But you're driving me insane."

"Sorry," I grumbled sullenly. "I was just trying to help."

Dad grabbed my hand as I went to step away. "I know you are, sweetie, I know. I'm sorry. But you don't have to work so hard to take care of me. I'm okay, honey."

Sitting down on the side of his bed, I released a breath. "I'm sorry. I know I'm going overboard. I just can't help it. I'm worried about you."

"I understand, baby girl. You know what? Why don't you go out for a little while? Get some fresh air. Isn't Parker still around? Why don't you two hang out for a little while?"

"I—I..." I trailed off, not really knowing what to say. Since that night in my room, I'd tried to keep my distance from Parker. I told myself I needed space to clear my head, but everything was just getting more and more muddled. He'd been spending the last few days at his mother's house, refusing to go back to Florida, still trying to help as much as he could. He went grocery shopping so the fridge and pantries were filled with heart-healthy food. He mowed the grass which had gotten a little long. He even helped get my father upstairs and settled in his bed when he was released. But I could see the hurt on his face every time I pushed him away, every time I thanked him then turned my back.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I feel like I'm losing my mind," I admitted sadly. I finally opened up about everything Parker had said, from how he still loved me to why he'd felt he had no choice to break up with me. Dad sat quietly the entire time as I poured it all out. By the time I was done, my cheeks were damp with tears.

"Do you love him, honey?"

It was a simple question, but one I had a lot of trouble answering. "It's...complicated."

"It's really not, Freya. Denying how you feel doesn't change it, it only makes things more difficult." When I didn't respond he continued, stunning me with what he said next. "Did Mom ever tell you that we broke up junior year of college?"

When I was able to pick my jaw up off the floor I was able to ask a shocked, " _What_?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yeah, for close to six months."

"Mom never told me," I stated exasperatedly.

He shifted in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. "It wasn't the best time in our relationship. It was six of the worst months of my life."

"What happened?"

"Well, when we first started dating her parents weren't happy about our relationship. It had been love at first sight when we met..."

I smiled at his phrasing, remembering how Mom used to always say the same thing. "She always said that."

His smile lit up his face at the thought of her. "God, I was so crazy about her," he whispered lovingly.

"So, why did you break up?"

The smile momentarily faltered before he continued. "They thought we were moving too fast. It got to the point where your mother and grandparents fought constantly. I hated seeing her crying all the time. I blamed myself for the tension between her and her parents."

"Gran and Pop didn't like you?" I asked in disbelief. "But they were always so nice to you!"

"It wasn't that they didn't like me. They just worried that your mom was going to get sidetracked from her schooling. Our relationship moved at warp-speed from the moment we met. They were just scared she was going to get hurt. I couldn't stand seeing how much pain the rift had caused her. I thought I was doing the right thing by ending it—"

"Wait," I interrupted. " _You_ broke up with _her_?"

"I did and I regretted it every single day for six months. I just thought it was for the best. I figured that ending things would be for the best, that her relationship with her parents would get better. I was willing to spend every day of my life missing her if it meant her life was better."

Tears welled in my eyes at the look of grief on my father's face. "Why are you telling me this?"

He took my hand in his, holding tightly. "We don't always make the right decisions, honey. Sometimes we think we're doing the right thing, not knowing we're hurting the people we love even more. I thought I was helping your mother by stepping back to appease her parents. Six months after the breakup, your grandparents came to me. They realized that what I felt for your mother, what we felt for each other, was real. It wasn't just some quick infatuation. It took a lot of work to win her trust back after I hurt her like I did, but she eventually forgave me, and I thank my lucky stars every single day that she did. Even though she's gone, I got to spend _years_ with the love of my life. I got you."

I had to swallow down the lump in my throat just to talk. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want you to follow your heart, baby girl. I don't want you to have any regrets. I think you still love that boy, and I know with every fiber of my being that he loves you, too."

"H-how do you know?" I sniffled.

"How do you think he knew where you were?"

"You told him?!"

My father laughed before pulling me down so I was lying beside him on the bed, resting my head on his shoulder. "I have to hand it to the boy; he's definitely persistent. He came over at least once a day asking where you were. He even went as far as to come to the office to see me. He was always respectful, but he made it abundantly clear he wasn't giving up."

I burrowed softly into his shoulder. "He really did that?"

"He did. Like I said, that boy's crazy about you, sweetheart. Don't let fear make you end up doing something you'll regret, baby girl. The past hurts sometimes, but you two were young. He made a mistake. Try not to hold it against him forever. You'll only hurt yourself in the end."

"I love you, Daddy," I whispered as another tear fell.

"I love you, too, Freya. Never doubt that."

* * *

I walked into the kitchen to the sound of pots and pans being shuffled around. A delicious smell perfumed the air around me. The sight of Parker's mother bustling around the kitchen brought a smile to my face.

"Hi, Mrs. Owens."

"Oh! Hello, dear. Please, call me Martha. 'Mrs. Owens' makes me feel old. I'm not there yet. I'm making some homemade chicken noodle soup."

I took a seat on the barstool, studying the woman in front of me, still so stunned by the transformation just a handful of years had made. "You don't have to keep cooking for us, Martha. You're doing too much. I don't know how we can possibly thank you or Parker for everything you've done."

She went about chopping celery on one of the thick, wooden cutting boards I was certain hadn't been used since my mother passed. It was kind of nice seeing the kitchen being put to use. I'm sure my father had lived on takeout ever since I'd left for college. "Oh, sweetie. I'm more than happy to help, believe me. I spent _years_ having Parker take care of me when it should have been the other way around. I've found that I kind of strive on being useful."

I was so taken back by how casually she sounded that I couldn't form a response. I wanted to make her feel better, tell her Parker never held it against her, but I remembered seeing the looks of intense sorrow mixed with the slightest bit of resentment in his eyes every now and then when we were together.

"H-how is Parker doing?" I asked. I hadn't seen him since earlier the day before, and despite the distance growing between us being my own fault, I couldn't deny that I missed him. Everything my father had said resonated within me.

"He's..." Her voice faded off, the sound of her chopping stopped as though she were giving her answer serious thought. "...struggling." My shoulders curled inward as my head drooped. "My boy's a protector," Martha continued. "He came into the world that way. You should have seen him with his little brother, Toby."

There was a wistfulness in her eyes as she spoke about both of her sons. Her bright eyes glistened with tears but a smile graced her lips, as if the memory of Toby filled her with happiness despite the heartbreaking loss.

"Every cut, scrape, or broken bone, Parker was there, front and center trying to patch Toby back up." A small laugh escaped her lips as a tear broke free and tracked down her cheek. I felt my own stinging the back of my eyes at the emotion displayed on her beautiful face. "He was always so headstrong. I remember one time, Toby fell off the jungle gym at the park and broke his arm. Parker stood in that hospital room arguing with the doctor as he tried to cast his arm. He had it in his head that no one could take care of his little brother better than him."

A smile spread across my face at the thought of a little Parker going toe to toe with a grown man. I could just picture the conviction on his young face.

"After we lost Toby, he blamed himself. He held onto that guilt until it ate at him. To be honest, I'm not sure he's ever really let it go. I should have been there for him. I saw how he was suffering, but I was so lost in my own grief that I couldn't pull myself out of it. Instead of helping him, I leaned on him to take care of me. He never should have been shouldered with that responsibility."

"Martha—" I spoke, wanting to ease her guilt, but she held her hand up to stop me.

"I know the mistakes I made. I take full responsibility, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to my son for not being the mother he needed all those years. I'm not looking for reassurance, sweetheart. I just want you to try and understand why Parker does the things he does."

She reached across the counter and took my hand, wrapping our fingers together and holding tightly. As she did, the cuff of her sleeve pulled up and I gasped at the sight of the long keloid scar that ran down her wrist.

My wide eyes darted back to hers and she gave a small, almost indiscernible nod. She didn't pull her arm away or try to cover up the ugly scar. She _wanted_ me to see it. "Like I said, my boy's a protector, Freya. He's also spent the last several years terrified that he'd have to see me this way again. He's done anything and everything he could to protect me from the things he thought would take me away from him and that kind of fear... well, it's not something that can easily be let go of. It tends to burrow in and take hold."

I hadn't realized I was crying until the cool tears fell, hitting our joined hands. "Where is he?" I needed to see him. Every single thing inside of me screamed to run to him as fast as I could. I'd known he was in pain but I never knew just how deeply it ran until then. My heart shattered for him.

Martha's hand squeezed mine tightly and when my eyes met hers, a brilliant smile lit up her face. "I had a couple loose boards on the back deck at the house. He found them this morning and insisted on repairing them."

I was off the stool and running for the back door without looking back.

# Chapter Thirty-Four

### Parker

I heard someone yelling my name as the sound of the whirling blade on the saw began to fade. When I looked up and saw Freya running toward me, my blood ran cold. I dropped the piece of lumber I'd been cutting and took two steps in her direction, barely having a chance to brace myself as she lunged at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and holding tight.

"What's the matter, baby? Is it your dad? Is he okay?" She finally pulled back to look up at me and the tears running down her cheeks had me thinking the worst. Grabbing her hand in mine, I started toward her house, pulling her behind me as I tried to get to her father. "No. Parker stop." She dug her heels in and pulled on my hand. When I turned to her, she released my hand and reached up to cup my cheeks in her palms. "Dad's fine."

My heart beat so frantically I was afraid it was going to burst through my chest. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

"You d-didn't tell m-me." She hiccupped as more tears fell. "Why didn't you t-tell me?"

I brushed the tears away from her cheeks as I tried to make out what she was saying. "Baby, you're starting to worry me. I don't know what you're talking about."

Those watery blue eyes disappeared for a second as she closed them and inhaled deeply, trying to get control of herself before she spoke again. I couldn't have possibly prepared for what she said next.

"I talked to your mom, Parker. She told me _everything_. Why didn't you tell me?"

Every single bone in my body stood stiff at the realization that Freya finally knew the deepest, darkest secret I'd kept buried away.

"I never wanted you to know," I said quietly, my voice scratching against the emotion clogging my throat. "I knew I'd lose you for good if you found out."

"What?" she gasped, taking a step back. "How could you ever think that?"

My hands went up and gripped my hair as I began to pace. I never wanted her to know. I never wanted to see the look in her eyes reflecting at me right at that very moment.

"Because I knew you'd look at me exactly how you are right now!"

She stepped into my space, her face laced with agitation. "How am I looking at you, Parker?"

"With fucking pity!" I brushed past her and continued pacing. I couldn't stop moving. If I did, I'd lose my mind. "You're thinking the same goddamn thing all those fucking cops and paramedics did the night they had to come get her. 'Must be one fucked-up family for a kid to walk in on his mom having slit her wrists. Wonder when he'll crack, too.' I never wanted you to know, Freya. I knew I'd lose you for good when you found out how fucked-up my family was. How fucked-up _I_ am."

Her hands came up and rested on my chest to still me. "Stop!" At her shout, I froze solid. "Stop telling me what I think, damn it! Just stop."

"Freya—" My voice broke as I reached for her, but she swatted my hand away.

"No. I'm talking now, and you're damn well going to listen to me." My breathing stalled and I was sure my heart stopped for a few seconds as I prepared for my world to be ripped away from me. I was so certain that everything was about to come to an end that I could have been knocked over with a feather by what she said next.

"I love you, Parker. I love you so damn much it physically hurts. When your mom told me the truth, the only thing that went through my mind was how heartbroken I was for you. How I needed to get to you so I could hold you until I made everything better. You are _not_ fucked-up. Do you hear me? You're not. The fact that you went through everything you did and are still standing here is a testament to how fucking strong you are. It doesn't make me pity you. It makes me love you ever more."

"You love me?" I couldn't wrap my head around what was happening.

She stepped up to me and wrapped her hands around the back of my neck, her fingers sliding into my hair. "I do," she whispered as her eyes glistened with new tears. "And I understand why you felt like you didn't have a choice. God, Parker. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. So, so, sorry, baby."

"You love me." It wasn't a question. My voice was filled with awe as I stared down at the woman whose arms were wrapped around me, offering the comfort I didn't even know I so desperately needed.

"Yes." she giggled. I brushed the tears from her cheeks with my thumb as she sniffled. "We had two years stolen from us because of someone's petty jealousy. I'm done letting other people stand in the way of my happiness. I don't want to lose any more time."

"What are you saying?" _Christ_ , I loved that girl with every fiber of my being, but I needed to hear her say it. I needed to hear the words just so I could be sure this was real, that I wasn't dreaming.

"I'm saying that I want _us_ , Parker. I'm fighting for us. And I'm not going to lose because you're it for me, too."

My body moved before my brain had a chance to catch up. I wrapped Freya in my arms, spinning her around as she squealed and laughed with delight. My chest expanded and warmed at the sound of her laughter. She loved me. This perfect woman who held my heart loved me.

I put her feet back on the ground and took her face in my hands, my forehead resting against hers as I breathed her in. "I love you, too, baby. You have no idea how much."

"I think I might." She grinned as she pushed up on her toes to plant a kiss on my lips. "You're my whole world, Parker Owens," she whispered.

"And you're mine, gorgeous. Always will be."

As the sun lowered into the Pacific, we stood there, staring into each other's eyes. With her wrapped in my arms and the sun setting in the background, my heart felt light... _free_. I knew in that moment that there was going to be nothing but happiness in my life.

# Epilogue

### Freya

"Are you a crazy person?"

I smiled at his reminder of the very first words he'd ever said to me. Despite the frigid temperature in the air, just the sound of Parker's voice warmed me from the inside out. The heat from his body soothed me as he pressed his chest against my back and wrapped a blanket around both our shoulders.

"Well, I'm not talking to myself this time, but I am dating _you_ , so my sanity's questionable at best."

I let out a little yelp and tried to pull away to no avail as he pinched my side playfully. "Yeah, well, only you would stand down here in the middle of winter to watch the sunset."

I turned away from the waves crashing against the shoreline and stared at the man I loved over my shoulder. "Because I knew you'd join me."

"You got that right," Parker whispered as he nuzzled into my neck. "You having a good Christmas, gorgeous?"

"It's been fantastic." I grinned. Piper and Caleb had made the trip from Florida to spend part of our winter break at my dad's house with us. Stella and Michael had shown up a few hours before, and Parker's mom had slaved away at a Christmas dinner that was absolutely to die for. It was one of the best Christmases I'd ever had, and despite not having my mother with me, I couldn't have been happier.

"I think we should head back up." Parker's breath tickled my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Mom's putting out dessert, and your dad looked like he was about to have an aneurism when she told him she'd made a sugar-free, butter-free dessert just for him.

My head fell back on a laugh. "Dad's not taking to this heart-healthy diet too well. Martha told me she found a stash of candy bars in the couch cushions the other day. I'm starting to think he's regretting hiring her as his part-time housekeeper."

Since the heart attack, my dad and Parker's mom had become friends. She did the housework and cooking, making sure he stuck to his doctor-recommended menu, and he grumbled that the woman was going to be the death of him. But I knew deep down he enjoyed having the company.

"We'll go back up in a few minutes." I pulled out of his hold and grabbed his hands, pulling him toward our log. "Besides, I wanted to show you something."

"Is this something going to be naked?" he asked with a salacious wiggle of his eyebrows. "Because you know I'm always down for that, but I'm not so sure I'm up for performing in below-freezing temperatures."

"Shut up," I giggled, smacking him in the arm before pulling away and lifting the blanket I'd thrown across the log. Parker looked down at the carving he'd done years ago and I saw his eyes spark when he caught sight of what I'd added.

_F.L. + P.O._

_FOREVER_

He grabbed hold of my arms and pulled me into his warm embrace.

"You like?" I asked as I stared up into those deep brown eyes I'd come to love with me entire heart. I'd never get tired of waking up every morning and seeing them staring back at me.

"I love, gorgeous." He leaned down and placed a soft, sweet kiss against my lips before resting his forehead against mine. "You're my whole world, Freya. You know that, right?"

"And you're mine.

"I love you with all my heart, Freya Linden."

"I love you, too, Parker Owens. You brought the color back into my life."

After one more kiss, we turned toward the ocean, watching the scattered colors play against the sky as the sun set. Parker and I hadn't led the easiest of lives. The ups and downs had been monumental, but the one thing that stood true was that, together, we could make it through anything.

* * *

_The End._

* * *

_*keep reading for a look at Shrinking Violet*_

# Shrinking Violet Excerpt

Prologue

_C assidy_

* * *

_H ow has this become my life_?

The heat from the sweltering Texas sun beat down on my skin, making it tight and itchy as a fine sheen of sweat beaded across my forehead. The humidity in the air was so thick, I was afraid I was going to choke on it. Everything about the air outside the crowded airport was stifling.

Holding my hand over my eyes to shield them from the relentless rays, I scanned the cars around me, hoping it wouldn't take long to spot Aunt Milly and Uncle Kal. The heat was bad enough, but standing outside when the temperature was over a hundred degrees while pregnant was just plain cruel. After shuffling around for another ten minutes, with no sight of my aunt or uncle, I decided using my suitcase as a seat was the best option.

Folding my hands over my stomach, I stared down as sadness began to take over once again. I wasn't even showing, yet my entire world had already been turned upside-down by the tiny life growing inside of me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to my baby, wondering if it was even possible for him or her to hear me, let alone understand. "This is all my fault." I sniffled as tears began to make tracks down my cheeks. I tried my hardest to put strength in my next words. "But I swear I'm going to be better. I promise you, I'll be better."

And I would.

No matter what it took, I was determined to shed the skin of my former life—a life where I carelessly played with other people's emotions for my own satisfaction—and be the kind of mother my child deserved. The kind of mother I never had. I would never subject my child to the cold, callous person I used to be. I'd make sure my baby felt loved every second of every day for as long as I had breath in my body.

I was a horrible person. I did unspeakable things. I wasn't worthy of forgiveness. But for the life growing inside of me, I'd give unconditional, unending love in the hopes of finally, _finally_ getting it in return.

"Cass? Cassidy!" The sound of my aunt's voice pulled me from my self-loathing. I briskly wiped at the tears on my face, but it was too late. Aunt Milly spotted them before I had a chance to hide my sorrow behind a fake smile.

"Oh, sweetie," she cooed as she pulled me into her arms. "It's okay," she whispered with a motherly affection I was so unused to. "It's all gonna be okay, baby girl. You hear me?"

For what felt like the millionth time in my life, I questioned how someone as uncaring and heartless as my mother ever came out of the same womb as the soft, gentle woman who engulfed me in such a loving embrace.

At her show of affection, the floodgates burst and I buried my face in her neck, sobbing uncontrollably. "Aunt Milly," I cried. "I screwed up. I'm a horrible person."

Her soft hand ran through my hair as she pulled back to look at me. "Hush now, child. You're not a horrible person—"

"But I am!" I interrupted loudly. "How can you say that? The things I've done...I _hurt_ people!"

"And you'll learn from those mistakes," she insisted adamantly. "You're only human, sweetheart. We make mistakes. It's how you _learn_ from those mistakes and carry yourself in the future that determine your true character."

"The things I've done..." I choked out. "They're unforgivable, Aunt Milly."

"Everyone is worthy of forgiveness, Cassidy," she said as she brushed a finger along my cheek. "Even you."

I wanted to believe her. As I stared into her honest blue eyes, I wanted so badly to believe I was redeemable. But how could I ever ask everyone I'd wronged to forgive me when I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to forgive myself?

* * *

Chapter 1

_C arson_

_Four years later_

* * *

I was cutting it close.

I was due to start my new job in thirty minutes and the drive alone would take twenty of those. That was _if_ I didn't get my ass lost on the way there.

"Stupid fucking alarm," I muttered under my breath as I snatched a t-shirt off the floor and held it to my face. Smelled clean enough. That worked for me. I tugged it over my head as I made my way out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. My mind focused on one thing and one thing only— _caffeine_.

My brain hardly functioned first thing in the morning on a good day. Considering I was going on less than three hours' sleep, I'd be lucky if I made it to work without falling asleep behind the wheel.

"Where are you going?"

I glanced over my shoulder as I reached into the cabinet for a travel mug and began filling it up. Navie sat perched on one of the barstools with a bowl of cereal in front of her.

"Work," I grumbled before taking my first fortifying sip.

Her blonde brows dipped low in disapproval as her tiny nose scrunched up. "But it's Saturday. And you worked at Miller's until closing last night!"

Navie didn't need to remind me. The exhaustion that was dragging my body down was reminder enough that I'd pulled three double shifts the past week. Miller's had four bartenders on staff and, miraculously, everyone but me had managed to come down with the flu or some shit. I was used to the long, tiring hours, but it hadn't helped that after my shift, I'd taken the stacked redhead that had been hitting on me all night up on her offer for a little after-work fun.

I spent two hours at her place before finally being able to sneak out a little after four in the morning.

"You know, if you didn't go home with every slutty barfly who batted her lashes at you, you might not be so exhausted this morning." Navie curled her upper lip in disgust. I'd worked hard to keep my bedroom antics from her, but she was a smart girl; she knew exactly what was happening between the time I got off work and arrived home. After every one-night stand, I told myself it would be my last...that I wouldn't go home with another nameless, faceless girl. But by the end of the night, I always found myself wrapped up in another woman's body. The need to feel close to someone, to feel acceptance was almost addicting, and I craved that from those women like a junkie.

Even though I woke up the next morning feeling sick for what I'd done, I couldn't bring myself to stop. When you lived a life without a single solitary moment of love, you jumped at the chance for affection, no matter how temporary.

"You don't have to stick your dick in every girl who propositions you, Carson. It's kind of disgusting the number of notches in your bed post."

I sipped the steaming hot liquid before speaking over the rim of my coffee cup. "You worry about yourself and I'll take care of me."

Navie rolled her deep blue eyes. "I don't know why you're doing this," she chided. "You make more than enough money at the bar. There's no need for you to pick up a second job. You're working yourself into an early grave."

I took another drink, using the cup to mask my frustrated sigh. We'd been having the same conversation for months. Ever since Navie was accepted to NYU, her dream college.

"You don't have to do this, Carson. I've told you, I can take care of myself. You already do too much as it is. I'm not your responsibility."

Like hell she wasn't. That girl became my responsibility—my _family_ —the day she walked into the Harper's house, those big blue eyes wide with fear and brimming with tears. If you only learned one thing growing up in the foster system, it was that blood didn't matter for shit. A _true_ family were the people you _chose_ to love, who chose to love you back. Simply because they wanted to, not out of obligation.

"Keep telling yourself that all you want, little bit." I grinned as her lip curled in animosity at my nickname for her. "You're family, and family looks after each other."

"You're already letting me stay here, Carson." She waved her hand around the tiny, two-bedroom apartment. "That's enough. You don't need to work a second job." She crossed her arms over her chest, trying her best to look intimidating. "I'm more than capable of getting a job myself, you know?"

"We've already talked about this," I spoke as I pocketed my cellphone and scooped my keys off the counter. "You're living here because I want you here—"

"No," she interrupted. "I'm living here because I aged out and came home from school to find all my stuff packed and waiting for me on the front porch. You felt obligated."

My blood ran hot at the memory of that day. Navie's scared, broken voice coming through the phone line as she cried uncontrollably. If Navie hadn't needed me, I'd have gladly risked jail and beat the shit out of the Woodleys for putting her out the way they did.

"Bullshit, Navie, you know better than that. You aren't an obligation to me. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Then let me work!" she insisted. "Let me pull my weight, Carson."

"No," I replied adamantly. "You've only got a few months left before you graduate, then you're going to New York and getting your ass as far away from here as you possibly can. You focus on school and keeping your grades up, and I'll focus on getting the money you need to start the life you deserve."

Those big blue eyes of hers welled up with tears, reminding me so much of the scared little girl I met that day seven years before, and my heart sputtered in my chest.

Her gaze dropped to her lap just as her tears broke free. "I'm scared, Carson," she whispered before sniffling, using the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks. "I don't want to leave you. You're all I've got. I can't lose you."

Fuck being late, I thought as I stepped up to her and wrapped her tiny frame in my arms. The feel of her body shaking against mine as she tried to control her tears was like a knife straight to the heart. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her, and hearing her cry gutted me.

"You aren't gonna lose me," I responded fiercely. "You hear me? You are never _ever_ going to lose me. You're gonna go to New York and get yourself a fancy degree and do something amazing with your life. And I'll have your back every single step of the way. Even if it's from here. Got that?"

Navie sniffled a few times before finally getting control of her tears and gave me a nod. I tucked my finger under her chin and lifted her face to mine so she could see the sincerity in my eyes. Her smile started off weak before finally growing into the beautiful dimpled one I'd come to love.

"Got it," she said softly before inhaling deeply and shaking off her sorrow. That was just one of the many reasons I adored her. Her resilience. "I can't believe you're going to be a ranch hand. Next thing I know, you'll be wearing a cowboy hat and spitting tobacco."

I shrugged casually as I took a step back. "What kind of Texan would I be if I didn't embrace the cliché completely?" I joked as I walked backwards toward the front door. "Gotta go, little bit. I'll see you tonight."

"See ya." She grinned. Just as I turned and grabbed hold of the knob, she called my name. Her bright smile practically shined as I looked back over my shoulder. "You're the best brother I never had."

My lips curled up at the familiar endearment we'd made up years ago. "And you're the best sister I never had."

* * *

Pulling my beat-up truck to a stop, I threw it into park and stared out the windshield, almost in awe of the beauty spread out before me. The sprawling landscape definitely hadn't been what I had in mind when I pictured Willow Ranch. I'd been lucky enough to hear about their need for another ranch hand from one of their guys who liked to come into Miller's for a drink every now and then. Never one to shy away from hard work, I threw my name in the hat before even hearing about the pay, thinking that every extra penny counted when it came to getting Navie to her dream school. For as long as I'd known her, she'd always fantasized of escaping Grovepoint, our little ranching community just outside of Dallas, for the city. She'd seen pictures of New York City when she was a little girl and had become instantly enamored.

As luck would have it, the pay was pretty damn decent, if I did say so myself.

Fields spread out before me as far as my eyes could see. Cattle grazed behind fences. A weathered barn sat further back from a large two-story house covered in white clapboard siding. Everything about the house, from the massive wraparound porch to the blue shutters, screamed country living. It looked homey...inviting. Definitely something I wasn't used to.

A bright pop of color from the corner of my eyes pulled my attention away from the house. My breath hitched in my throat at the gorgeous girl walking past my truck toward the opposite side of the house.

Jesus Christ, she was beautiful. The vibrant purple color of her tank top might have been what originally caught my attention, but it was the combination of long, tanned legs and golden blonde hair dancing in the breeze that had my eyes dragging up her curvaceous frame. I was mesmerized by the woman walking right past my truck, her eyes downcast as each step took her away from me. She walked as though she was trying to remain hidden from the world—slumped shoulders, bowed head—but that didn't detract from her beauty. She looked like a stunning shrinking violet.

_Look up_.

It was irrational, but something inside me was desperate to see her eyes in that very moment.

_Look up, look up, look up._

A loud knock on my driver-side window startled me from my undoubtedly creepy leering.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted, my heart pounding in my chest as I turned to the woman standing just outside my door.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle ya." From the crinkles around her eyes and the knowing grin that spread across her face, she was more amused than remorseful. I flipped the key in the ignition, pushed my door open and stepped out. "Figured you must have been lost, sitting in here so long." She chuckled as she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her gaze. Yeah, I'd been busted checking that woman out, no doubt about it.

I extended my arm, offering my hand in respect. The petite woman who stood in front of me couldn't have been more than five feet tall, but there was no denying she exuded an air of authority. "Not lost, ma'am. I'm Carson Langford, the new ranch hand."

"Well, it's a pleasure, Carson Langford. I'm Millicent Sheffield, but everyone just calls me Milly." Her handshake was firm, not like most women who tried that dainty, dead fish thing. I appreciated the strength she put into it. Since I was really paying attention at that point, I noticed Milly couldn't have been more than an inch or two taller than Navie. Her blonde hair was streaked through with just a hint of gray, and her shiny blue eyes held a shrewdness to them which told me there wasn't much she missed. Years in the foster system had ingrained in me the ability to read people pretty decently. I had a sense that Milly was a likable lady...as long as she wasn't crossed.

"Nice to meet you, Milly."

"Welcome to Willow Ranch," she stated, her eyes darting over my shoulder just as a keen smile crossed her lips. "I've got a feeling you're gonna like it here."

I opened my mouth but my words fell short just as a sweet, seductive voice spoke up from behind me.

"Mill, have you seen Bug?"

"Well, hey there, baby girl," Milly spoke just as I spun around to see the blonde I'd been admiring minutes before walking up to us. Good Lord, if I thought she was a looker before, it was nothing compared to seeing her up-close and personal.

My brain kicked in just as it had back in the truck. _Look at me_.

"Cassidy, meet Carson Langford, our new ranch hand. Carson, this is my niece, Cassidy Ashworth."

Her head remained somewhat lowered as she peeked up at me through long lashes, but the effect still hit me like a ton of bricks. Blue eyes. No, that wasn't right. _Radiant_ blue eyes stared back at me, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.

It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. Never in my life had I been so instantaneously drawn to a person I'd just met. My connection with Navie had stemmed from the need to protect someone innocent and weaker than me. What I was feeling right in that moment was totally different, almost...primal.

"Nice to meet you, Carson," she spoke softly, reaching out to shake my hand.

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine, Cassidy. Believe me."

Her cheeks tinged the most adorable pink as she looked away quickly, and I couldn't help but feel triumphant at her reaction. Slowly, to my disappointment, she pulled her soft palm from mine, but I didn't miss how she clasped her hands in front of her, rubbing her delicate fingers over the skin I had just touched.

"Do you know where Bug is?" she asked her aunt, turning away from me.

"Where do you think?" Milly responded with a small laugh. "She's in the barn with Kal."

Cassidy released a groan and rolled her eyes. "Not again. I've told him, not around the horses!" she huffed in irritation.

At a complete loss as to what the two of them were talking about, I chose to stand there and soak up as much of Cassidy as I could before she became aware of my staring.

"Well, I was just about to take Carson out there to meet Kal. Why don't you show him the way?"

Her brows furrowed, creating a cute little wrinkle right between her eyes. "Uh, sure." Her response was hesitant, but that didn't stop the mental fist pump at the thought of getting a little one-on-one time with the girl who had me strangely enamored.

"Follow me."

"Gladly." I hadn't realized I'd spoken out loud until I heard a giggle from Milly and saw Cassidy flush red once again.

It took me four steps to catch up with her quick pace toward the old barn. Once I was walking alongside her, I racked my brain for something to say. I needed a way to get her to look at me again.

"So, who's Bug?" I finally asked. As we stepped into the darkness of the barn, I was hit with the smells of hay and everything else you'd come to expect from horses.

_Finally_ , she looked back toward me and my chest tightened. "Huh?" She looked confused, like she hadn't heard my question.

"You were asking Milly about someone named Bug? Is that a woman who works here?"

"Oh, um, no. She's my..."

Her answer was cut short by a high-pitched shriek coming from further in the barn.

" _Mommy!_"

I stood stunned as a little girl came barreling toward Cassidy before plowing into her legs and wrapping her little arms around her.

"Mommy, Unca Kal said I can have a horsey! _Can I, can I, can I_? Pleeeeeeeease!"

Cassidy reached down, scooped the little girl up and propped her on her hip. "We'll talk about it later, Doodle Bug," she answered as she shot a glare toward a man walking toward us. _Good Christ!_ The dude was a giant!

"But, _Moooooom_!" The little girl whined on her hip.

"Later," Cassidy said in a warning tone.

Obviously, the little girl had the attention span of a flea because just as soon as she turned and saw me, the horse was long forgotten.

"Mommy," she whispered loudly. "Who's dat?"

"That's Carson, Doodle Bug. He's gonna be working at the ranch. Why don't you say hi?"

The little girl—was her name seriously Doodle Bug?—began squirming on Cassidy's hip to be let down. "Hiya," she said once she stood in front of me.

Kids weren't typically something I was used to dealing with, so I was a little thrown as to how to act around the mini-spitting image of Cassidy.

"Uh, hi. I'm Carson. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Willow. Niceta meechu too." I didn't understand anything she'd just said.

"This is Willow," Cassidy deciphered, brushing her hands through the child's unruly blonde hair. "My daughter. But we all call her Doodle Bug, or Bug for short."

Her _daughter_? _Holy hell!_ No way did Cassidy look nearly old enough to have a daughter. Especially one who looked to be three or four years old.

"You's tall," Willow told me. "But not as tall as Unca Kal."

"What's an unca kal?" I asked.

"That'd be me," the big, burly guy answered. __ He rocked back on the heels of his dusty old work boots. Judging from the silver around his temples and smattered through the rest of his dark brown hair, I put the guy in his mid- to late-fifties. He had to have been at least six-foot-five, standing an inch or two taller than me, and judging by the bulk of muscle he carried on his frame, hard ranch work was most definitely in his blood. Not a man I'd want to run into in a dark alley at night, that was for damn sure.

I offered my hand to the beast of a dude standing in front of me. The man's gigantic hand shot out and wrapped around mine, squeezing a little tighter than necessary. Refusing to wince at his bone-crushing hold, I kept my gaze trained on his. The glint in his dark brown eyes let me know he was sizing me up, seeing if I was worth my salt. I was up for the challenge. I'd been in enough foster homes to know when I should be rightfully intimidated. And everything about the man screamed intimidation.

"I'm Kal Sheffield, or Uncle Kal to Bug here."

"Carson Langford, sir. I'm the new ranch hand."

"That so?" A slow grin spread across his face. "Guess that makes me your boss, huh?"

_Ah, hell._

# Discover Other Books by Jessica

THE PICKING UP THE PIECES SERIES:

_Picking up the Pieces_

_Rising from the Ashes_

_Pushing the Boundaries_

_Worth the Wait_

* * *

THE COLORS NOVELS:

_Scattered Colors_

_Shrinking Violet_

_Love Hate Relationship_

_Wildflower_

* * *

THE LOCKLAINE BOYS (a LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP spinoff):

_Fire & Ice_

_Opposites Attract_

_Almost Perfect_

* * *

THE PEMBROOKE SERIES (a WILDFLOWER spinoff):

_Sweet Sunshine_

_Coming Full Circle_

_A Broken Soul_

* * *

CIVIL CORRUPTION SERIES

_Corrupt_

_Defile (Declan and Tatum's story – coming 2018)_

* * *

GIRL TALK SERIES:

_Seducing Lola_

_Tempting Sophia_

_Enticing Daphne_

_Charming Fiona_

* * *

STANDALONE TITLES:

_Chance Encounters_

_Nightmares from Within_

* * *

DEADLY LOVE SERIES:

_Destructive_

_Addictive_

# About the Author

Born and raised around Houston, Jessica is a self proclaimed caffeine addict, connoisseur of inexpensive wine, and the worst driver in the state of Texas. In addition to being all of these things, she's first and foremost a wife and mom.

Growing up, she shared her mom and grandmother's love of reading. But where they leaned toward murder mysteries, Jessica was obsessed with all things romance.

When she's not nose deep in her next manuscript, you can usually find her with her kindle in hand.

* * *

Connect with Jessica now

Website: www.authorjessicaprince.com

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authorjessicaprince@gmail.com

### Contents

  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright
  3. Table of Contents
  4. Discover Other Books by Jessica
  5. Prologue
  6. Part I
    1. Chapter 1
    2. Chapter 2
    3. Chapter 3
    4. Chapter 4
    5. Chapter 5
    6. Chapter 6
    7. Chapter 7
    8. Chapter 8
    9. Chapter 9
    10. Chapter 10
    11. Chapter 11
    12. Chapter 12
    13. Chapter 13
    14. Chapter 14
    15. Chapter 15
    16. Chapter 16
    17. Chapter 17
    18. Chapter 18
    19. Chapter 19
  7. Part II
    1. Chapter 20
    2. Chapter 21
    3. Chapter 22
    4. Chapter 23
    5. Chapter 24
    6. Chapter 25
    7. Chapter 26
    8. Chapter 27
    9. Chapter 28
    10. Chapter 29
    11. Chapter 30
    12. Chapter 31
    13. Chapter 32
    14. Chapter 33
    15. Chapter 34
  8. Epilogue
  9. Shrinking Violet Excerpt
  10. Discover Other Books by Jessica
  11. About the Author

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Beginning
  6. Prologue
  7. Epilogue
  8. Also by Jessica Prince

