Subscribe now. Let us get the mentalist South
Africas mentalist in here and he can help
us today with a couple of things, last week
we learnt about first impressions. So yeah
last week we learnt about first impressions
we discussed the basics of reading body language
and I thought that we can discuss a technique
today which will really really transform the
way that we connect with people. Especially
if it is people we are meeting for the first
time but we could do this with anyone even
if it is someone that we know quite well.
When we meet someone our minds start to subconsciously
analyse their face and their body for any
kind of movements or expressions or gestures
or anything that is similar to our own and
the reason why it does that is to determine
on a subconscious level whether that person
is going to be positive or negative towards
us. And uh? In evolutionary terms this whole
processes is hardwired into all animals brains
as a tool for survival not just humans. So,
what we do to reverse engineer the process
to be able to create a good connection with
people is to do what we call mirroring. Mirroring
is like copying, so essentially when you sitting
talking to somebody or if you are standing
next to them and chatting to them you would
start to mirror things like any particular
pose they are using or you could mirror any
gesture that they use. You know this is something
I actually have been aware of. Before you
even started talking about it. Is that when
someone agrees with you or when you like each
other you tend to do the same things. So if
you cross your arms I will cross my arms.
If mabali and I are enjoying a conversation
and we are positive about each other, if I
put my hand on my chin she will put her hand
on her chin, that kind of thing. Absolutely.
I noticed that. So ah mirroring is not just
with body language, just with body gestures,
in fact you can mirror facial expressions
uh you can mirror the way that somebody speaks,
so their tonality their rate of speech their
volume uhh kinaesthetic mirroring is when you
mirror somebodies energy dynamics so you would
start breath in the same rhythm that they
are breathing in (oh really? That happens)
Ja. And basically what mirroring does is that,
that person will just start to feel like a
strong vibe they will just feel like there
is something about you that they feel safe
about that they feel good about (you are basically
a congruent ) yes congruent exactly and the
reason why is because on a subconscious level
they are seeing a reflection of themselves
in you. Right right and people love flattery,
exactly well it is on a subconscious level
isnt it. Basically what mirroring says to
someone on a non-verbal level is you know
look at me I am exactly the same as you we
have the same thoughts the same beliefs the
same attitudes. Isnt part of it I am very
easily influenced and therefore you are powerful
and therefore you and I will get along. Okay
so you hit on something which is probably
a little bit more advanced absolutely like
slightly submissive. So in the right environment
then you could use so for example if you have
a job in which you come across people who
complain a lot to you, you know if your in
customer service for example it is a good
idea to make that person feel powerful cause
you will actually gain more influence than
actually trying to be more powerful over that
person. So your absolutely right in advanced
situations you can use mirroring in a way
that will create report. But essentially yeah
if you use mirroring you can use it either
to mirror and match somebody to create that
connection. Once you have got that connection
you can then either continue to mirror the
what ever they do you do. Or you can then
have it at a point where you then start getting
them to mirror and match you so you will then
try to shift the balance. Exactly. So you
would want to influence them to want to use
certain gestures and those gestures would
influence the way that they are thinking and
feeling does that make sense, it makes perfect
sense.
Hi guys if you enjoyed what we spoke about
mirroring on Gareths show then go to my website
and watch the video called why do others yawn
when I yawn ? here is a piece of the hidden
camera footage from that video enjoy.
I was on a mission to active peoples mirror
neurons starting with my friends first.
And then I moved on to target others
Start reading and influencing people using
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