(distorted music)
- [Announcer] Holiday Rap Battle
Thanksgiving
versus Christmas
Ready?
Begin.
- [Santa Voice] Ho ho ho
- My name is Christmas,
I'm the main holiday.
All the children love me
'cause they get them toys and play.
Excuse me but I just gotta be blunt,
forget one day, I'm
celebrated for a month.
Thanksgiving has to offer intense obesity.
Well at least Christmas celebrate a deity.
Presents? Family? Food and fun?
To think I'm overrated,
is a misconception.
(rap music playing)
(chicken squawk)
- Thank you Christmas,
for that holly jolly show.
But can we just be honest,
everybody hates the snow.
Here on my day, all the
people gives thanks.
Instead of going out and
just breaking their banks.
Jingle bells, Batman
smells, Robin laid an egg.
Play different songs
please, do we need to beg?
Green and red? Who came
up with this theme?
Change up your colors or
I think I'm gonna scream.
(rap music)
- [Santa Voice] Ho ho ho.
- Songs? You're kidding
me. This has to be a joke.
If someone wrote a song for you,
I think I might just choke!
Green and red? Do you
understand what you just said?
At least my color isn't orange,
I'd rather just drop dead.
Thanksgiving's for the family
that you don't even like.
At least during Christmas
you can get a brand new bike.
I can truly tell you from
the bottom of my heart,
people only like you 'casue
that means I'm 'bout to start.
(chicken squawk)
- I appreciate your efforts,
and all your twinkly lights.
But c'mon, really Santa?
He'd give anyone a fright.
With his elves, reindeer,
and stupid little sleigh.
Even his big belly is a bit cliche.
People really enjoy my
food they make it for days.
But nobody ever gains a pound,
shhh I've got my ways.
Its nothing like your Santa Claus
who likes to eat cookies.
Pumpkin pie is so much better
He's just a rookie.
- Santa Claus can literally
deliver kids their dreams.
While Thanksgiving over here
is used for funny memes.
People don't just spend their
days dreaming of a turkey.
Instead they sit and think about
their big ol' Christmas tree.
The cold is just a part
of all the Christmas joy.
To think you'd ever beat
me is a sad pathetic ploy.
Come now, stop dreaming,
get back to reality.
Oh look, a gift for you.
It's called a personality!
- My delicious personality
really is the best.
To celebrate here you
don't need an ugly vest.
Rolls and turkey? You
would stuff your face too.
At least my season
isn't known for the flu.
Christmas, please. You
sit on a throne of lies.
You're about to be overthrown
by a bunch of pumpkin pies.
I wish you the best, and a
Happy Holidays 'cause I know
I'm better than you in at
least a million different ways.
(glass shattering)
(wind blowing)
- While I'm over here
getting a New Year's kiss,
Y'all over there looking
a little hopeless.
I'm new and I'm fresh, ready for the year.
I make new goals and
they're typically sincere.
Are you guys kidding? We
all know I'm the king.
When it comes to New Years,
celebrating is supreme.
Christmas, you are just
an overrated theme.
You could try to be the best,
but it would only be a dream.
Thanksgiving, please just
stop where you're at.
People use you as an excuse to stuff
their face and get fat.
Honestly, we all know
people party all day.
No food or gifts required,
I'm the best holiday.
(gunshot)
- What's up guys? Hopefully
Y'all enjoyed that video.
I know it was super, super funny.
Hopefully you guys got a kick out of it.
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- Bye
