-Welcome back, Mike!
-Thank you so much. Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So happy you're here.
Before we move on to the show --
-Yes.
-It's World Cup time.
-Yeah.
-And we actually met 2002...
-Yeah.
-At a bar in L.A.
at a World Cup game.
-Yeah.
-And do you have a rooting
interest?
Because we were there
to see England in 2002.
-Yeah, I have England
as a rooting interest.
-Okay. That's good.
-My parents are from England.
I'm actually a citizen.
I'm too into soccer.
This is my problem.
It sort of affects
every part of --
-Oh, like emotionally?
-Oh, you bet your sweet bippy,
it does.
Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-It was a pretty tense
first England game.
I mean, they pulled it out,
but it was maybe a little closer
than you would want it to be.
-Yeah,
I'm trying to wean off of it.
I get too -- like,
when Liverpool got knocked out
of the -- I'm a Liverpool fan,
as well. Anybody?
[ Scattered cheers ]
I'll take a sympathy "Whoo!"
Thank you.
[ Laughter ]
It was during my birthday.
And I was so bummed out.
But, you know, we, like,
rented a bus for the tour
and I was just getting
the score, and we were,
like, losing.
And then, Ramos fouled Salah.
Salah plays for Liverpool.
-Hurt himself.
-Hurt 'em. He got hurt.
-Yeah.
-Sorry, dude.
He got taken out Mafia style
by Ramos.
And I just got sadder
and sadder.
We got back to the house,
and Liverpool had lost.
And it was like, you know --
everyone was doing like --
♪♪ Happy birthday ♪♪
♪♪ Happy birthday, dear Mike ♪♪
And I'm like, "That was cheap.
That was a cheap, cheap play."
[ Laughter ]
And then, they were like --
♪♪ [ Flatly ]
Happy birthday to you ♪♪
And Kelly is like, "Can I talk
to you for a second?"
My wife, Kelly.
"Turn it around!
Turn it around!
There's ten people here!"
You Know, so...
-Now, would you --
if Canada was in the World Cup
and played England...
-Yeah.
-...would you root
for Canada over England
in a World Cup match?
-Wow, this is fantastic.
Like, what if Canada put a man
on the moon?
You know, it's like --
[ Laughter ]
You know -- you know...
We have a space shuttle.
It's an ice fishing hut.
[ Laughter ]
Not true. We have fantastic
technology in Canada.
-I noticed, you're wearing a pin
that I'm familiar with because
Lorne Michaels wears this pin.
-Yes.
-This is the Order of Canada
pin.
-It is indeed, yes.
-That's quite an honor.
-It is Canada's highest
civilian honor.
-And how -- when did you --
when were you --
[ Light laughter ]
-It is, actually.
[ Laughter ]
-When were you awarded yours?
-Last year.
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah, yeah,
on my birthday last year.
-Oh, that's great.
So this birthday really sucked
compared to that one.
-It really sucked.
[ Laughter ]
I'm very proud to be Canadian.
-Of course.
-Um, uh, more so recently, too.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
I would like to remind everybody
that we have
the longest undefended border
in the world
and we have the longest peace
treaties in the world.
-Yeah. Those are two
good things to have.
-We're your number-one
trading partner.
-Mm-hmm.
-On September 14th,
Canadian special forces were
in the ground in Afghanistan.
We did not get attacked
ourselves,
but we love America so much
that over 40,000 Canadians
served in Afghanistan.
So these are just little facts
I'd like to point out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Good hometown facts.
-Not the stuff of security
threat, I think you'll find.
-Yeah, no.
-But anyways, there, I said it.
[ Laughter ]
-I want to ask about --
we obviously saw
that "Gong Show" clip.
-Yeah.
-And you are --
you play in heavy makeup.
And last year,
in season one of this show,
it was not --
you did this without telling
anybody it was Mike Myers
who was playing the host
of the show.
-You know,
I love "The Gong Show."
There was three shows
that I loved growing up --
"Saturday Night Live",
"Hockey Night in Canada",
and "The Gong Show."
[ Laughter ]
Because I thought
"The Gong Show"
was super punk rock.
Because it was, you know,
kind of, get in and get out,
and somebody gets hurt.
It was just a real -- just
a de-evolution of show business.
It's anti-careerism.
It's people flying
their freak flag.
You know? And it's what I did
with my brothers in kitchens
at parties to try and make
girls laugh,
you know what I mean?
-Are you surprised at who does
and doesn't get gonged?
-I'm totally surprised.
But just getting back to why
I wanted to be Tommy
was that Chuck Barris
was my hero.
I read all of his books.
And he kept maintaining,
I don't know if it's a fiction
or not, that he was in the CIA.
And I just thought
in the spirit of that,
what if we just pretended that
I was this guy, Tommy Maitland,
give an elaborate back story.
And just, you know, it was
the sort of guy
that if something -- if somebody
is terrible on the show,
he'll go, "I thought
you were breathtaking."
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-"You've taken away my breath,
and I will need it back."
You know, and so I -- it's fun.
It's fun.
It's like two weeks
of silliness.
