We also need to kill clichés that are
harming our relationships with people,
okay? Now, what do I mean by clichés that kill? Clichés that are kill are cute little
statements that we think are clever, that we Christians like to say to our friends
who identify as LGBT but really end up
doing more harm than good. Let me give
you three quick examples. Number one is
this: Homosexuality is a choice or refer
to it as the "homosexual lifestyle," okay?
As I've shown to you, I do not believe
that homosexual attraction is just
something people choose. Yes, they choose
their behavior, but if you use the word
"choice" in your description of their, who
they are,
you will alienate them from you
because in their mind,
they'll think, "You think I chose this? You
think I chose to be gay? You are
completely out of touch with who I am,"
right? "You have no idea what I'm
experiencing." So this will just simply
create a roadblock, an obstacle in your
relationship with them, okay? So avoid the
language of choice. Number two, I hear
people say this, "God created Adam and Eve,
not Adam and Steve," okay?
I don't know why we keep saying this as
Christians, but let me just tell you, we
gotta, okay? Because the only way
I've ever heard my friends and family
who identify as gay and lesbian interpret
this is as an insult, okay? If you want
them to believe that God made them to
function in a heterosexual way, then just
explain that from Scripture or from
basic biology 101, alright? Don't resort
to a corny cliché like this as just
simply offends people and creates more
distance in your relationship with them.
Here's another one, "God loves the sinner
but hates the sin." Now I know this
one's gonna be tough because this
sounds biblically consistent. It might
even sound compassionate. But let me just
tell you when people who identify as
LGBT hear this, they think in their mind–
well, let me ask a question, actually. Do
you know what's the only word they hear
in this sentence? Hate. Exactly. They hear,
"God hates me, and guess what, you hate
them too."
Because in their mind, being gay's not just what they do, it's
who they are. And so if God hates me and
you hate me too, then how is this a
compassionate answer? This actually has
the opposite effect that you intend. So
here's my suggestion: If you want them to
believe that that you love them or that
God loves them despite what they're
doing, here's what you should do. Don't
say something, rather do something, and
that is love them, right? You you say God
loves them, why don't you show by how you
treat them, right? Spend time with them, go
to the movies with them. The next Avengers movie
comes out, go see it with them. Play tennis
with them. Whatever you do with your other
friends, do it with them. And because
you're a Christian and you might be the
only Bible they ever get to know, they'll
interpret that as love from you, and
because you're a Christian, you represent
God, that will teach them that God loves
them as well.
