 
# So Much To Lose

### A Free Novella

## Trisha Fuentes

_For all my readers_

_This book is dedicated to you..._

### Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Acknowledgements

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About the Author

Also by Trisha Fuentes
Copyright © 2009, 2012 & 2019 Trisha Fuentes

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# Preface

An airplane en route to Hawaii has three particular passengers; one listening to music, one reading, and one gazing out the airplane window...

Tarin Howard-Picardo, a _stunning_ brown-eyed blonde, is the woman by the window. She is put together on the outside, but on the inside, she's a mess. Tarin is extremely unhappy but not because she is ten years older than her two other traveling companions.

Rae Howton, number one friend, sits on the aisle. She is also a blonde and _very_ attractive; a thin, big-breasted short-haired flirt.

Rae took a peek over at Tarin and surveyed her state—shook her head. "What's wrong with Tarin?" She whispered to Ceeci, number two friend flying along with them.

Ceeci Fernandez sits in the middle. With delightful Filipino petite features, she is cute as a button and the only brunette. "She must miss her husband," she whispered back.

"Oh," Rae let go, looking out straight ahead of her now.

Tarin continued to look out the tiny window and ignored her friend's genuine concern. _No one will understand how I feel_ , she thought, and quickly looked over at them both. Ceeci wasn't paying any attention to her now—she was too consumed in a book that she was reading—while Rae, well, she was happily grooving to the beats on her iPod. Like Tarin thought— _no one_.

Tarin gazed out of the tiny window again. Unexpectedly, an object swishes by her view of the clouds. _Oh my God!_ Tarin thought, thinking that she just saw a bird fly by! A bird, or _something_ and continued to look for it in the small window frame but found nothing. Hesitation, then disappointment set in. She then soon realized that it must have been her imagination. _My fantasies_ , she thought again _, are so much more exciting than my real life..._

# Chapter One

### Santa Monica, California

Inside the Picardo home, Tarin is in the kitchen doing the dishes. It's early in the morning, but she's been up for hours. Dressed head to toe in old sweats, her hair is tied up in a make-shift bun and looked more homely than some stunning blonde. Next to her (and never too far away) was her toddler, Marisa, age one, sitting in a high chair, eating with her fingers.

The Picardo's own a rather large home, some would call it a "mini" mansion, other's just a gorgeous estate, and for the difficult tasks like the gardening, bathrooms, wiping down all the windows and dusting all the furniture, the Picardo's hired a maid and gardener. But for the personal jobs around the house and the everyday duties, Russ rather liked his bride being the typical _housewife_.

Decision making had always been difficult for Tarin. Red or blue, two or three, she could never make up her mind. She would leap forward into making the wrong decisions before really weighing out the pros and cons, and always ended up spending more time on _deciding_ , than actually _using_ whatever she chose.

Tarin was now in her bedroom vacuuming the carpet, while Marisa rolled quietly around in her walker. In the corner of her eye Tarin spotted the clothes tumbling over on the hamper. The laundry was next, but first, she had to shut down the vacuum—tackling the baby blankets first, she folded and smoothed them out, then finally, the bundles of shirts that were piled high by the pillowcases.

Tarin married her first year in college, dropped out and set up house within their first year of marriage. Too young, she knows that now, but felt at the time she was making the right decision.

Tarin placed down a folded shirt and eyed a picture on the dresser. It was a white framed wedding photo; one of her and her husband some time ago. Russ Picardo had been five years older than she, a college grad with his Masters Degree and spoiled Tarin rotten when they first started to date. Parties, dinners, the movies every Friday night, always somewhere to go, something to see, a nice selling point to a nineteen year old who just didn't know what she wanted out of life. Tarin often thought that the reason why she _even_ went to UCLA was to find a husband.

Tarin was now hanging up one of Russ' shirts. Acting on impulse, she leaned into smelling one of them, but there wasn't any scent, nothing at all. She then eyed an old jacket of his and caressed it. Back when she first got married, she would have to pinch herself; sometimes Tarin couldn't believe she married such a good looking, successful man.

Tarin then gazed over at another picture. A photo of Russ all by himself and showing no emotion, and right beside it, was a photo of her in a cheerleading uniform. Tarin used to be a popular girl in both high school and college; why not marry the ideal man? Why not, _hell_ , she deserved it! Tarin was the homecoming queen, varsity cheerleader, Class President, Best of Show. She earned the first prize; not the consolation prize.

On whim again, Tarin placed the picture of herself face down – it was that kind of morning. Grabbing the empty laundry basket, she headed out the bedroom door while Marisa in her walker, tried to catch up to her from behind.

Inside the laundry room, Tarin was now stuffing clothes into a washer machine. All her life she was taught by her mother to do the right thing, always be nice, listen. But there was always this other side to her, a person inside that sometimes _ached_ to get out.

Tarin closed the washer machine door and eyed one of her daughters Mickey Mouse toys stacked up on a shelf. That subdued girl didn't want Disneyland, that wild side of her wanted Penthouse! She wanted to French kiss a total stranger, dress sexy, flirt, shake and wiggle. _Seduction_ , that's what she craved. The power to seduce! Be a bitch, act un-lady-like for a change, and on one of those mischievous moods, she was even offered to pose nude for Playboy! Some agent at the mall spotted her and asked if she wanted to do a photo shoot; Tarin was just going to shrug him off, thinking it was just a scam, but then remembered seeing his famous face on the internet. Boy was _that_ reckless! She never felt more alive; but just two days before the photo shoot was supposed to take place, she bumped into Russ Picardo at the video store, and all her naughty dreams just seem to fade away with his shelter and protectiveness.

Tarin walked into her daughter's room and strolled over to the toy box to drop Mickey Mouse in. Yes, that's the person Tarin had always dreamt of being, but that's the girl her mother taught her _not_ to be; in other words, Disneyland.

Walking down the hallway, Tarin eyed a picture hanging on the wall. It was a photograph of herself when she was little; one with Tarin and her parents. Tarin did have the best of everything while growing up; everything great was always placed in her lap. She guessed you could say that she was spoiled rotten and maybe just a tiny bit selfish, wanting things her way all the time, and always expecting a favorable outcome.

Tarin then ran her fingers across a photo of her parents on their wedding day. Her parents divorced when Tarin was just six years old. She wanted them to stay together, but they didn't. It was the first time Tarin learned that she couldn't always get what she cried out for, and the last time Tarin ever tried something so drastic. Running away didn't work, neither did refusing to eat. Tarin even tried playing one parent against the other, but that didn't work either, their marriage still ended in divorce.

So her mom and dad went their separate ways, and Tarin got to watch her mother date different men, and that's when she began to focus on commitment and fidelity early on in life. Tarin was never one to _date_ just for the sake of dating, she always thought that the person that she happened to be with was the one and only person in her life, and she had tunnel vision.

Three times...three fingers used to count the boys that she had slept with. First was Denny Oliver, her high school sweetheart. Oh, she really loved Denny! But Denny's family moved to Oregon just two months before graduation, and Denny left along with his family and took her virginity with him. Next was Eduardo Sanchez, a hottie she met while at UCLA. _He_ was extremely good-looking, stylish and brought out Tarin's wild side, but Eduardo wasn't the marrying type, and Tarin had fun with him while it lasted. And lastly there was Russ, her husband, her confidant and her current lover.

That night, Tarin lie in bed next to her husband and watched him while he slept. Russ was handsome, yet modest; a successful architectural engineer, he owned his own firm, was fit and trim, worked out three times a week, adored his daughter, and gave money to charity—he was a class act. He was sound asleep and oblivious to Tarin's inspection. Russ was attractive in his own right with sexy brown eyes with brown wavy hair, a healthy physique, but he was better-looking when his eyes lit up on their daughter. He was a great father.

Resting her head on her hands, Tarin tried to fall asleep, but couldn't – she just wasn't tired. Tossing and turning while the rain fell heavily just outside their bedroom window, Tarin closed her eyes only to hear the sounds of a forest. Birds chirping, owls howling, tree branches whistling in the wind. Russ liked to fall asleep to a _Sounds of Nature_ CD.

Tarin reached over Russ' unresponsive body and pressed the STOP button on the portable CD player set up next to him. _Damn him! Why was it so easy for him to fall asleep? What did he have to be so happy about?_

Closing her eyes, she tried to force herself to sleep. Letting go a deep sigh, Tarin instantly brought to mind the guy she bumped into at the market the other day. Dark hair with a dark tan and blue-eyes to die for, his shoulders were wide, his torso was lean and fit, and she couldn't help but think about him on top of her. Tarin often dreamt about other men. Fantasizing about men she thought were attractive. Make-believing all her fantasy men were all in love with her, having an affair with them, having sex anywhere it was considered _dangerous_.

Suddenly, the thunder outside got more severe, and only added to Tarin's frustration, while she rolled over to the other side to watch the rain fall from another window. Russ began to snore louder, and Tarin nudged him with the back of her foot to try and make him stop.

Tarin tried to think of happy thoughts and recollected her wedding day. She did have a beautiful wedding...it had been a beautiful summer day with crisp cool air to envy. A vast green wedding reception, with white oval umbrellas sprinkled about the well groomed grass of the country club, was a memory to cherish. Recalling that lovely time when the guests lined up for the buffet of food, the waiters served the endless bottles of champagne, while she and Russ greeted their families and friends. A carefree smile painted on both their faces, there were no worries on that day, and Russ was flawless, laughing politely to everyone's silly remarks about the ceremony and Tarin too, was radiant, too good to be true—and she was the most beautiful bride! Her hair was perfect; her dress was perfect, even her _weight_ was perfect! She couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

A more perfect life...

# Chapter Two

A year later, the honeymoon was over, and reality reared its ugly head.

Tarin oftentimes paced the floor as Russ kicked over the magazine rack, hurling paper all over the living room. The newlyweds often fought, and not just a squabble here and there, there were arguments so monstrous, someone always ended sleeping on the couch. But the sad truth was that Russ was the one who always caved in, he was the one who would always apologize whether right or wrong – Russ thrived on harmony – he learned after just a few years of marriage, to agree with everything Tarin had complained about. It was just easier that way.

She made the mistake of marrying Russ so young. But don't get her wrong; Russ was a wonderful man, a living dream. The kind of husband and father every woman always dreamt of. But again, it was something she didn't quite count on, and never wanted in the first place. She just wanted something exciting to happen.

So Tarin needed something to fill in the void that Russ lacked to fulfill. That excitement—that _WOW_ factor—and thought having a baby would be her answer. Tarin tried desperately for five years straight to conceive, until she finally got pregnant...

Tarin had been feeding her daughter Marisa in a highchair. Marisa was not enjoying her food very much; she had been scooping the food out of her dish just as fast as Tarin had been trying to feed it to her. Marisa threw her fork clear across the room, spattering Gerber's Chicken Noodle all over the dining room wall while Tarin just smiled.

Marisa next started to smear the food she spilled all over the tabletop. Her _Marisa_...Her wonderful sweet little girl saved her marriage. Tarin grinned and then playfully stuck her tongue out at her daughter.

Tarin didn't actually realize how much time she would have to give up until she had a child. Your identity was not your own. It belonged solely to this miniature person. So Tarin began to second guess this decision as well.

Tarin washed Marisa's dish in the sink, when suddenly she heard a crash behind her. Marisa had emptied the rest of her food onto the floor.

Tarin grabbed a nearby kitchen towel and began to wipe up the Spanish tile. They cry, you run to them, they want something; you fulfill their needs in a second. You become their slave, a laborer to their demands.

That night, after Tarin finally got Marisa to sleep, and Russ was in bed already snoring, Tarin snuck out and went into the den. There were rows and rows of books all around the space set in elaborate bookshelves, and Tarin sat at her desk, reading under a dim light.

After cleaning her kitchen for the one-hundredth time, she decided to do something for herself. She really didn't know what to do, until it hit her. What could she do that could benefit her? It was time to go back to college and get that _degree_.

The clock was slowly ticking in the backdrop on the wall. It was one o'clock in the morning and you could hear a pin drop. Tarin was turning the pages too quickly, she had a test in the morning and she was having difficulty concentrating. She had been fantasizing too much about that guy again, the guy she saw at the supermarket and tried to erase him from her mind. She didn't do a good job of it, and closed her eyes to fantasize about him.

_Blue eyes to die for, a smile that could entice you enough to kiss and never depart. Strong arms that could embrace you in the warmest of hugs. His waist, his torso...his...oh no! Time to get back to her homework, shit!_

# Chapter Three

She almost gave up on the idea of going back to college when she received the new class schedule from UCLA.

It was three o'clock in the morning now, and Tarin decided it was time for bed. As she passed each room on her way towards her bedroom, she made sure all the lights were turned off.

Once enrolled at UCLA, Tarin made sure to sign up for _"Foreign Culture"._ That's where she met Rae and Ceeci; two girls she currently considered her very good friends.

In the bathroom now, Tarin yawned and then stuck her tooth brush into her mouth. It was really late.

_Foreign Culture_ required the student to travel to the country or place in which the student's final thesis was to be written about. The students were only allowed to stay at their destination for five days, and within that time, they had to learn about the culture of their subject, and write about it when they returned.

Tarin chose Hawaii because she always wanted to go there. Not because she was interested in the Polynesian culture, but simply because she wanted to say she was there at least once! All her friends had been there, it had been a hop, skip & a jump away from California and always felt envious of everyone who had been to Kauai, Maui or Oahu. Russ was terrified of flying so they never went anywhere they couldn't _drive_ to. Tarin begged Rae and Ceeci to choose Hawaii as well, and after a few minutes of ending their friendship completely, they gave in. Later, Rae confessed her family owned a condo in Kauai and Ceeci opted towards another culture, something like Mexican, rather like _Cabo_.

Tarin knew it was another selfish act, but she didn't care, she felt she deserved it and wasn't going to settle on any other place other than Hawaii.

Spitting out the rest of her toothpaste, Tarin eyed Russ' electric razor. Needless to say, Russ wasn't pleased at all. He still felt that he was head of household in their lair and wanted some say in what his wife was going to do with her spare time, and Tarin recalled the conversation between them when she told Russ about her objective. They were all sitting at the dinner table and Marisa was unusually quiet that night...

"I don't want you going off to Hawaii," Russ plainly said, sticking a gob of salad into his wide open mouth.

"Oh, don't pull that Tarzan act on me again," Tarin exclaimed, looking the other way, feeling pressure on all sides. "You know, I don't like it."

"Oh, like you've really thought this through. You're not going anywhere."

"Oh yah? Well, I'm making the decision now and I'm going to Hawaii."

Russ closed his mouth for the moment. "Look, I completely understand that you want to finish college, heck, I would too if I was in your position. But Tarin, you're a wife now and a mother, so where is Marisa gonna go, in your back-pack?"

Tarin rolled her eyes, "I already asked your mom if she could babysit while you're at work. It's on your way, and besides, she said she would love to look after her."

Russ began to play with his food like a two-year old with a strange far off look on his face. He didn't want his wife out and about in Waikiki; he rather liked knowing she was waiting for him to come home each day. "I like when you're at home," he said truthfully, "I have an incredible successful business to _make sure_ you're at home."

Tarin lowered her eyes, "Yes, I know you do."

Russ leaned over the table and grabbed at Tarin's hand. "I love you sweetheart, and I don't like the idea of you being away from us. I rather you not go, I want you here, raising Marisa."

"I have to go," Tarin eerily said.

Russ let go of her hand, "What do you mean, you _have_ to go?"

"It's for school and it's only for five days."

"I understand that."

"So, I have to go," Tarin said bluntly.

"But—"

Tarin swallowed hard, "Let me put it another way, I _need_ to go."

Russ watched Tarin reach over to wipe off Marisa's face. "I don't understand, why do you _need_ to do this?"

Tarin blew up all of a sudden, "You wanna know something Russ? I really don't give a crap what you think anymore! I'm suffocating in this house! All I do all day long is clean! I'm tired of being a housewife, I'm tired of being the baby-sitter and I'm tired of being Russ' wife!" Tarin then stood up and grabbed her plate full of food and dumped it into the sink.

Russ afterward watched his wife storm out of the kitchen and then sadly looked over at his daughter.

# Chapter Four

It was now exactly three-thirty in the morning and Tarin was still wide awake. Maybe it was because she was too excited about going to Hawaii... _maybe_...maybe it was something else, maybe...it was just anticipation of what? She didn't know, but it was _something_.

She rolled over again and faced her husband. Viewing Russ, she reached out to touch his face, but opted not to, and instead just laid her hands a few inches away from his nose.

Russ was sound asleep and Tarin was forced to hear Russ snoring again to the _Sounds of Nature_. She tried to get comfortable, but she just couldn't. For the life of her, she tried to find the reasons behind their dormant love. _Everything had been so dull lately. What went wrong? Why was she always so angry? Why didn't she feel the same about him anymore? Where did her love go?_

Tarin rolled back over and began to silently cry, allowing the warm subtle tears to drop down to the sides of her cheeks and onto her already wet pillow.

They had been married for nearly nine years... _why was it so easy for them to drift apart?_ Tarin quickly wiped the wetness away when she felt Russ stirring inside the bed; and then suddenly and without warning, his sleepy hand skimming along the curves of her body sensuously following down to her midriff.

The only common bond they had lately was Marisa. Their days surrounded her; they existed simply, for _her_.

Back in the airplane en route to Hawaii, Tarin was still looking outside the window, depressed.

Right before she boarded, Russ told her that he would _miss her,_ even though—in his words—he knew she wouldn't be _missing him_.

In her heart she wasn't sure if she wanted her marriage to go on or not. Tarin was so confused about them being together. Russ was always so nice and gentle to her; it made it difficult for her _not_ to be angry with him. Even though Russ and Tarin made love just before she left, Tarin really wasn't into it, she was just going through the motions.

Tarin looked away from the window for a second and then gazed over at her two friends again. Coincidentally, they were both now _staring_ at her.

"Are you OK?" Rae asked, with her ear phones now dangling around her neck.

"Everything all right?" Ceeci asked as well, her book closed and in her lap.

Tarin smiled, "Yah, everything is swell."

Rae and Ceeci both shot looks at one another.

Tarin took note of it, "Really, I'm great, heck, I'm going to Hawaii!"

"You sure are! And you're gonna have a blast!" Rae quipped, shouting enough so that the nearby passengers all turned her way.

"Wanna know something Rae?" Tarin asked, leaning forward so she could talk softly, "I think I am. I think this trip will really be good for me, just what I need, ya know? I have this feeling I'm gonna have a great time."

Just then, a flight attendant arrived alongside their row and began passing out small bags of Macadamia Nuts to all the passengers. Rae grabbed her bag of nuts and tore it open like she hadn't eaten for days.

"Hey, did you hear about the terrific house they have set up for us?" Ceeci asked, munching on her snacks.

"I heard something," Rae spat out, pouring the rest of her nuts onto the palm of her hand. "My father knows the brother of a friend whose sister was married to the owner's cousin."

Ceeci and Tarin both started to laugh.

"What?" Tarin finally exclaimed.

"Say that again, but in English?" Ceeci agreed.

Rae plopped the last macadamia nut into her mouth. "Yah, something like that," she uttered, cleaning off her salty hands into the air. "The owner leases his mansion to the college for a week out of each month and my father knows some guy, person, _whomever_."

Tarin gazed out the airplane window again, "A mansion huh? Aren't we lucky..."

Rae shrugged her shoulders, "Oh, no big deal really. You've been in one large, drafty, cold, over-priced house; you've been in them all."

"Oh, excuse me!" Tarin guffawed, "Oh, that's right; I forgot you were born with that silver spoon stuck down your throat."

"Rolls Royce's, trips to Europe, Sunday brunches with the Kennedy's..." Ceeci chimed in.

"No silly, it's not the Kennedy's anymore, they're so old news. It's Brad and Angelina now baby!" Rae let out sort of matter-of-factly.

# Chapter Five

### Waialae - Kahala, Hawaii

At the Honolulu International Airport, the three girls were waiting patiently for their luggage to come out of the bin. Hawaiian men and women had been welcoming all the tourists who had just arrived outside the exit with beautiful strands of flowers, "lei's" they called them, and waited patiently for the three girls to walk out of the airport lobby.

"Aloha! And Mahalo! Welcome!" A beautiful Hawaiian girl said, greeting the three as they departed.

Tarin gazed down at hers and fingered the cold fresh flowers around her neck. "Oh, thank you so much, they're beautiful."

The college had arranged a van to pick them up and haul their luggage, and the three girls all sat in the back full of anticipation. Along the way, they passed the main strip with countless hotels and high-rises, till the van finally pulled up to a wrought-iron gate surrounded by foliage, and a breath-taking Kahala estate. The Mediterranean style home was bordered with lots of palm trees of every sort, which sheltered it from its hill-top neighbors. The mansion was even set low on the edge of a mountain cliff.

The girls got their luggage from the driver and then walked through the wrought-iron door entrance.

"You girls have a good time," the driver let go, laughing to himself, "I'll see you on Friday."

Rae turned around and raised her eyebrows, "Yah, thank you, see you on Friday." She watched the driver shake his head a second time and smiled as he headed back to the van.

The three girls all look up at the estate.

"Oh my God! This is so unbelievably gorgeous!" Ceeci exclaimed, dropping her luggage to the cobble-stoned driveway.

"Isn't it though?" Tarin agreed, gazing all around her, surveying all the green, luscious vegetation... _and was that the ocean nearby? She could hear it so close!_

Reaching the foyer at last, Tarin and Ceeci both drop their suitcases just inside the doorway, while Rae continued on with hers.

Ceeci was still in awe of the dwelling and scanned over the mansion's exalted high ceilings. "This is _so_ amazing!"

Tarin barely turned her head and was stunned by the vast windows that extended from wall to wall, exposing the most picturesque island landscape ever imagined. " _Oh my God_ , you could see clear down to the beach!"

"Well, who the hell are you?"

Tarin and Ceeci both shot looks at one another then quickly ran to see who Rae had been talking to. To their surprise, there were three young males scattered about the premises.

Edward 'Eddie' Lassiter, age eighteen was a skinny fellow, with blonde hair and fair skin, and spoke up first, "Um hi, we were wondering when you girls were going to get here."

"What do you mean, wondering when?" Rae inquired, with her hands on her hips. "What the hell's going on here? I thought we were supposed to have this place all to ourselves?"

"So did we," Joey Arcos, age nineteen, spoke up next. "We just got off the phone with Princeton, and they said that there was some kind of mix up with the dates."

Tarin couldn't help but meet eye to eye with Joey. He was Latin— _her type_ —and very, _very_ good-looking. He looked like he just stepped out of a Tilly's clothes catalogue; Volcum T-shirt, stylish striped short's with a matching Buffalo plaid fedora.

"Yah, we were supposed to get this house alone too, but I guess someone at UCLA screwed up," Eddie chimed in again.

"Someone at UCLA?" Rae let go, getting angry now.

"Yes, at UCLA," Eddie simply replied, but then immediately stepped away from Rae's devilish stare, "According to Princeton."

"Don't get too excited ladies, we're only here till Friday," Joey remarked, making himself comfortable on a nearby couch.

"Well, so are we!" Ceeci cried out, incredulous over this whole situation.

Tarin just kept quiet, her eyes straight away locked with Joey's again.

Rae instantly noticed Tarin pretending not to notice Joey when she remarked, "Well, I guess by the size of this place, there's more than one bedroom? So there would be enough room for all of us?"

"Yah, there is," Joey agreed, leaning on the edge of the couch, "Six bedrooms, I last counted."

Rae stared at him for a short moment; she too was attracted to him. "OK, well if we're all going to be living with one another for the next few days, I guess we'd better get to know each other's names. I'm Rae Howton, this is—"

"Ceeci—Ceeci Fernandez," she replied, smiling Eddie's way and nodding to only him.

"And I'm Tarin Picardo," she said, nodding her head at everyone.

"Nice to meet you, Tarin," Joey smoothly remarked, slowly walking over to her and grabbing Tarin's hand to rub it softly. "I'm Joey Arcos."

The surprising action made Tarin's heart thump. His gaze alone sent shivers up and down her spine; she was _so_ attracted to him; six feet tall, with heavenly dark eyes, he lit off sparks.

"I'm Edward, Eddie Lassiter, and that over there," he said, pointing to the last guy still looking out the windows, "...is Mikey, _oops_ , sorry Mikey, _Michael_ Capelli."

The three girls all eye Michael in unison. Tarin didn't care what _he_ looked like; all she could focus on were _his clothes_. Wearing a baseball cap on backwards, Michael Capelli wore layers of sweats with dumpy old Converse tennis shoes. He looked like a homeless guy they had picked up off the street. _Were they sure he was with them?_

Michael Capelli, also nineteen, just checked his hand in the air and then turned around to exit out the sliding glass French doors.

"When are we going to sleep?" Tarin spoke up next.

Eddie and Joey both looked quizzically at Tarin.

Rae let out a laugh, and then grabbed Tarin by her shoulders. "Jet lag," she broke in, taking Tarin's arm.

Tarin bent over and whispered into Rae's ear, "What did I just say?"

"Something really stupid," Rae whispered back, pulling Tarin up the stairs giggling.

Joey and Eddie both watched the three girls as they walked up the staircase.

"That girl is _hot_ ," Joey uttered under his breath, pointing directly at Tarin.

"They're all pretty hot if you ask me," Eddie agreed, crossing his arms across his chest, taking a quick peek out at the windows to look for Michael already down on the beach.

# Chapter Six

Later that night and inside the master bedroom, Tarin looked around the room for a moment and declared herself tired. She dropped her body onto the four poster bed—back first. Looking up, she smiled at her reflection looking down at her, "Mirrors, how kinky."

While gazing around the room, Tarin spotted _'Heaven'_ for the very first time on this trip and pulled herself up from the bed, and out towards a private balcony over-looking the ocean. That's when Rae stormed into Tarin's room in a rant and rave.

"I can't believe those guys!" Rae exclaimed, waving her hands up in the air, "They're all in one room talking about me! I overheard one of them say that I had the biggest boobs ever! Do I have big boobs Tarin?" She asked of her, looking at her own physique in the floor length mirrors.

Tarin pulled away from the balcony door, "Yes girl, you have big boobs. What size bra do you wear anyway?"

"34-D. Why, what bra size do you wear?"

"A 34-C," Tarin remarked, looking down at Rae's large bosom. "Damn girl! You do have big boobs," she quickly agreed sticking out her chest to mimic Rae.

Rae watched Tarin as she checked her own figure out in the mirrors as well. "What you lack in front, you make up in hair. You have the thickest hair I've ever seen for a blonde."

"Thanks," Tarin accepted, "I inherited it from my father." Just then, Tarin couldn't take the suspense any longer and opened up the French doors that led out to the private Hawaiian view. "I have never seen anything like this. It looks like a postcard. All the colors, even at night! They're so vivid." Tarin then walked over to the wrought-iron rail and aimlessly looked around at the stars, the moonlit beach, and then finally at the ocean.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" Rae softly said, arriving up next to her.

Tarin shook her head, "I can't believe we have to share this week with complete strangers."

Rae was a very observant girl, anyone could tell that Tarin was preoccupied and Rae knew instantly whom she was occupied with. "We won't even know they're alive around here, and anyway," she stopped and then whispered into Tarin's ear, "Joey isn't all that good-looking."

Tarin was horrified and embarrassed that Rae knew what she had been thinking. "Oh my God, was it that obvious?"

"You were looking his way too much," Rae said bluntly.

"Was I really?"

Rae simply stared out in front of her, "Yah Tarin, you were."

Tarin rolled her eyes, "And what did he do?"

Rae now looked down at the moonlit beach and watched the wave's pound up against the sand. "Let's just say you two have crazy chemistry."

# Chapter Seven

### Monday

The following morning, all six college students became fast friends.

They were all in the living room sitting on various couches and after a few seconds of awkward silence, someone said something silly and they all started to laugh. That broke the ice and everyone started to feel comfortable with one another, until Tarin found herself challenged by Rae for the very first time in their friendship. She had never been jealous of Rae before, but now, after witnessing Rae firsthand on the prowl, Tarin became resentful.

Tarin sat on the couch observing Rae; she had been laughing and flirting with all the boys, and practically draped her body all over Joey every chance she got. Rae was trying to spark some kind of interest, but Joey just wasn't interested.

Joey seized the consideration from Rae, but he wasn't interested in the processed blonde; he was more interested in the _natural_.

Ceeci and Eddie sat in a corner and discussed the classes they had in common. They weren't paying any attention to the shenanigans that were going on with the other four; they were more fascinated with one another...And Michael just hung out by himself mostly, sunglasses hiding his gaze.

At night the six of them would gather together and play cards. A game they made up and lightheartedly named _Truth Poker_. Truth Poker was a contest when someone won the hand, they had the opportunity to ask anyone they wanted, _any question_ they wanted. No holds barred.

Tarin won—a full house. She looked around at all the guys. After all, they _were_ the targets for the next few days. "So tell me Eddie, do you have a girlfriend back home?"

Ceeci and Rae both looked his way like two hungry females, out to devour.

Eddie became embarrassed all of a sudden and chugged down some beer. "Well—"

"Tell the truth man," Joey eased, shuffling the cards expertly in his hands.

They all waited for his response.

"I'm engaged."

"Engaged!" Rae yelled, making Ceeci jump.

Ceeci looked solemnly at the ground, "Congratulations."

Tarin knew at that moment that Ceeci was only interested in Eddie.

Eddie took down another swig of his beer.

"What's her name?" Rae asked, batting her eyelashes. Rae knew the turn was over, but she wanted to know more for Ceeci's sake.

"Well," Eddie said, nearly choking, "Her name is Libby; she's also a freshman at Princeton. Her parents and mine grew up together. She's a family acquaintance." Eddie paused and took in a quick look at Michael. "But I don't think it's gonna work out."

Tarin was taken back. "I'm sorry, maybe I can help."

"Why?" Rae asked suspiciously, wondering what the heck Tarin could do. "Who do you think you are? Dr. Laura?"

"I just thought since I was the only one who was married, I already have experience with this sort of thing," Tarin plainly said, flipping her flaxen hair away from her shoulders.

"No one can help really," Eddie said sadly, "it's just sort of past help. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful and all, but we're so different."

"Yah, like oil and water!" Joey laughed out loud.

"Are you afraid of marriage?" Tarin asked Eddie honestly.

"Hey guys," Michael stated unexpectedly. "Why don't we just stick to the game? Whose turn to deal—mine?" He demanded, grabbing the deck away from Joey's uncertain hands; Michael then began to deal the cards. Almost a pro.

The three girls all turn to stare at him with hatred in their eyes, but the game continued – Tarin won again. Three of a kind.

Michael threw up his cards in protest. "Jesus! Can you believe this?"

Tarin let go a disapproving sigh. Michael seemed to be the only one at the table not enjoying himself. "Well Michael," she said with a sneer, "if you don't wanna play, there's the door."

Tarin seemed to be testing her authority and Michael quickly took note of it. Michael ended up throwing his hands up in the air all over again, only this time to show complete surrender. He stared her down for a few seconds, looked away and gingerly plopped a cigarette into his mouth.

Tarin began shuffling the cards, trying to ignore Michael's rudeness. "So Joey—"

"No," Joey rapidly replied, looking deep into Tarin's eyes, "I'm not involved, not engaged, and not seeing _anyone_. I'm still looking."

Tarin swallowed down Joey's hypnotic stare and playful wink.

And Rae was fuming with jealousy at this point, and dropped her cards in objection. "Yah, like you really need to look!"

"Hey, when you have this mug, it's gotta be good for something'!"

"Boohoo, _puhleez!"_ Rae snorted.

"Hey, I'm not the one who should be defending himself against the chicks man, it's Mikey over there whose the major stud at Princeton," Joey boasted out loud about his legendary friend.

An awe-struck hush traveled through each girl. Favoring Michael, his legs were stretched out and his feet rested on top of an unoccupied dining room chair. His torn sneakers gave out an aroma of week old hard-boiled eggs, and his sweats were ripped and frayed at the ankles.

" _Him_ , a chick magnet?" Tarin relayed, disbelieving Joey's statement. "You've got to be kidding." _This just couldn't be true. Michael was so... **not** pretty._

"Yah man, Mikey's got everything!" Joey continued, like Michael wasn't even in the room (much less at the table sitting across from him). "He's gotta have 'bout six girls right now with their cell phones in their laps waiting for their daily phone call!"

Eddie started to laugh too and oddly agreed with whatever Joey had to offer. Rae and Ceeci both kept eyeing Michael like he needed to be rediscovered.

"Enough!" Michael suddenly blurted out again, "Can we get on with the game?"

Joey continued his smiling, "OK—OK...but it's true."

The game continued and Tarin won yet another hand. Two pairs. But when Tarin accidentally looked Michael's way, Michael protested.

"Shit," Michael let go.

"You _are_ playing here, aren't you?" Tarin asked, testing her authority again.

"Looks that way."

"So what's wrong then?" Tarin asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "You shook your head just like everyone else did to play this type of poker."

"No I didn't, if you recall, I wanted to play _strip_ poker...so did Joey," Michael remarked to the quick, grinning Joey's way.

Tarin rolled her eyes, "Well, you were out-numbered four to two when Eddie raised his hand to play Truth Poker."

"Let's just play," Michael gave in. "Shall we? Just ask your damn question, _winner_."

That word _winner_ sounded oddly like the word _bitch_ and Tarin bit down on her tongue. "I can't help it if I'm the best poker player here."

"Yah you could, you could play down to us every now and then—you card shark!"

Tarin smiled inwardly, "Not a chance Mikey, so just keep your damn comments to yourself 'cause they don't mean _shit_ to me." Tarin then let go a deep sigh and opted for Eddie and the safer road, "Eddie, so back to your engagement."

"Oh, for _crissakes_ , leave the poor dude alone," Michael angrily snapped back. "Just ask me a damn question."

Tarin rolled her eyes again; she was completely convinced that she truly hated Michael. "There's nothing I wanna know about you," Tarin haughtily said, staring him down. "I don't like you, you stink like cigarettes, you have a foul mouth and you're just plain _gross_. So no, I won't ask you a fricken question, because I'm just _not_ interested."

Michael stared her down a second time. He was truly beginning to loathe Tarin as well, and he removed his sunglasses that were conveniently housed on the top of his baseball cap and covered his eyes with them. "You wanna war Mrs. Picardo?"

This guy just didn't let up. "I'm going to bed," Tarin suddenly broke down, throwing her cards across the table top and scooting away.

Rae reached out for her friend, "Hey Tarin, calm down. It's only a game."

"Yah Tarin," Michael mimicked her, "it's only a fricken game. Now, deal the damn cards."

Under protest, Tarin sat back down...but with her arms completely crossed.

Rae shuffled the cards. The table was completely silent and not because everyone was concentrating on their hands—no one was laughing—or enjoying themselves! It was kind of tense. This time Michael won. A flush... _A Royal Flush_.

Michael took his time and lit his cigarette. With a light stream of smoke exiting through his nose and then the same at the sides of his mouth, he gazed directly at Tarin. "So Tarin...why are you married again?"

Tarin's mouth flew open wide. But she was prepared for anything, "Because I was in love."

"Oh, isn't that sweet," Ceeci gushed.

"That is sweet," Joey agreed with Ceeci, but for purely selfish reasons.

"OK, now that we've established that Tarin is in love, can we move forward with the game?" Rae conveyed, slicing through the apprehension.

Michael just shook his head, "That's the biggest crock of shit I ever heard."

Tarin slowly stood up from the table, "You've got some nerve—"

Rae rolled her eyes, "Here we go again."

"No Rae! I don't have to listen to his crap!" Tarin explained to her friend and then finally to Michael. "Listen Mikey, I really don't give a flying fig about you, so your opinion of me doesn't matter. So why don't we just stay clear of each other for the rest of the week? _Capisci_ Capelli?" She let go in her best _Jersey Shore_ accent.

Joey and Eddie were suddenly hushed, but then started to snicker under their breath. Michael didn't laugh; he didn't think it was funny at all. Showing no emotion, he looked passed Tarin and then out at the ocean still smoking his cigarette like some cool movie-star.

Tarin afterward got up and walked back out towards the terrace. Joey scooted back his chair and ran after her.

Rae watched the twosome reacting to one another. "Whoa, did you see that?"

Ceeci didn't respond, she was too hooked up on Eddie and his sudden engagement announcement. She was flabbergasted by his news of his upcoming marriage and was so distraught; she started to show signs of actually getting sick.

Eddie yawned and then began to gather up all the cards, "I'm tired too."

Michael just shifted his legs around on the extra chair and took out another cigarette but didn't light it this time; instead, he twirled it in and out of his fingers like a majorette twirling a baton. "Incredible," he said, sarcastically, "what a _fun_ night! I know _I_ had fun...did you have _fun_ Eddie-boy?"

"Just let it go," Eddie requested, collecting all the poker chips spread across the table.

"This was more entertaining than a night out bar-hopping," Michael relayed, irate. "Let's do this tomorrow, shall we?"

# Chapter Eight

Tarin ran to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her, but the door didn't close right away and to her surprise, Joey had followed her upstairs and opened up the door as she tried to close it again.

"What's the matter Tarin?" Joey asked, walking over behind her to caress her tense shoulders.

Tarin instantly felt uncomfortable, but for the wrong reasons. She couldn't believe that Joey had followed her up to her room! And what was equally incredulous, was how she allowed him to freely touch her. It was what she needed at the time; it was what her heart was crying out for lately, affection, warmth, spontaneity—the naughty girl aching to bust out of the housewife.

Joey then began to massage her neck.

_The feeling was incredible...the feeling felt so good...and too comfortable. She had to stop it before it got out of hand._ "I'm OK Joey, really," she said, stepping away from him. Her heart was beginning to beat too fast now. _Why did Joey have to be so adorable? Why!_

Joey wanted to kiss her and Tarin felt like being kissed. But that's where it ended and the two of them took two steps backwards and away from each other.

"Why not come back down stairs?" He cajoled, with his heavenly eyes looking deep into her soul.

Tarin gazed into those eyes. _He was so gosh darn handsome!_ His eyes were so mesmerizing and she was such a sucker for that Latin hottie, and instantly remembered when Eduardo Sanchez would nearly do the same to her, glance at her with that similar sensuous hook. "No, I'd better go to bed."

"OK, which side of the bed do you want?" Joey winked, grinning his fine-looking white-toothed grin.

"I can't believe you just said that!" Tarin smiled, waving his brashness away and then coming over to him to push his incorrigible body out towards the door for him to exit.

"Did I shock you?"

"No," Tarin quickly said, but thought _YES!_

Joey straight away turned around, and with his chest only a few inches away from hers, rolled his eyes around her face and whispered, "I really like you Tarin," he confessed, taking in a deep sigh, "...It's really too bad that you're married. I guess we met too late."

Tarin knew she was playing with fire the moment Joey closed the door behind him. Joey Arcos was temptation from head to foot, and Tarin was so confused at this point, she wasn't too sure what she was going to do...or _wanted_ to do. She really liked Joey...she liked him enough where she nearly allowed him to taste her, but that little voice inside her head, the little voice of reason gave her the actuality of the situation. Having Joey Arcos would be a mistake, and Tarin Howard-Picardo hated making those mistakes. Hated making impulsive decisions that always turned out to be wrong.

# Chapter Nine

That evening, around one o'clock in the morning, Tarin woke up unexpectedly to hear the waves crashing against the beach outside. She wasn't used to hearing the sounds of an ocean and the light swishing of the waves crashing against the rocks, she was used to an owl _who-whoing_ and the light crinkles of the trees bristling. Birds, frogs, trees, trees and trees! Sometimes she hated it! And then she closed her eyes again. She forgot she had left the balcony door ajar just before she went to bed. and slowly began to fall back to sleep. _Aaaaaah...this...this was what she had longed for; the ocean, the waves, the peace and quiet_.

A few moments later, Tarin woke up from a strange noise? Not the ocean, and definitely not the sounds of nature. When she opened up her eyes in the blackness of night, she fathomed someone in the dark, _watching her_. The person was on the balcony looking at her through the balcony door?

Scared as could be, she didn't dare move, and the person just watched her...and she...just watched him, _watching her_. The man didn't do anything other than just stand there. Then Tarin thought she was dreaming again. It might have been a dream....Maybe it was a dream.

Yes, it was probably just a dream...

And then Tarin fell back to sleep.

# Chapter Ten

### Tuesday

At the pool's side the following morning, everyone except Michael swam and sunned themselves by the infinity pool that seemed to drip down to the ocean below.

Tarin had been on the opposite side of Joey when she opened up her eyes to see him on the other side of the pool grinning at her. She closed her eyes immediately and brought down her shades. _Oh no!_ She just couldn't believe it! She was beginning to have feelings for Joey. She couldn't pin-point the exact feelings, but she knew that whenever he'd appear, she'd get nervous. Last night, she ended up having a sex dream about him and woke up this morning a little scorched and had to take a cold shower. And after the water cooled her down, she began thinking about the previous night and knew—in the back of her mind—that Joey might have been the one staring at her as well. She wanted to avoid him at all costs. Three more days and Tarin wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

Rae got up from her lounge chair and decided to get something frosty to drink from the bar. "Hey guys, I'm heading to the kitchen, anyone want anything?"

Joey stood up with her, "No, but I'll help you get it."

Rae raised her eyebrows, "Sounds nice." And the two of them headed off towards the patio doors.

That's when Joey spotted Michael, who had been lounging on the inside with this legs spread out all along the couch. "Hey Mikey, was that friend of yours still flying us to Kauai?" Joey asked, ripping open a bag of chips he pulled out from the pantry.

"Yah, why?" Michael let out, still lazily sprawled out when he stiffened back up upon spotting Tarin, Eddie and Ceeci walking in through the sliding glass doors.

Rae came out from around the corner, "Could we go?"

Joey turned around and eyed Rae, "I don't see why not."

"Hey, that's a great idea," Eddie agreed, reaching into Joey's chips and grabbing a few.

"Wait a minute," Michael protested, completely sitting up in the couch this time.

"What now?" Joey asked, giving the rest of the chips to Eddie.

Tarin and Ceeci both head towards the kitchen and pour themselves a glass of lemonade.

Michael took one good look at the girls and relayed, "Dude listen, my dad didn't say anything about no chicks tagging along."

"What's your problem anyway?" Tarin asked now, sipping her lemonade.

Michael didn't want to face her; he didn't feel like sparring with The Card Shark today. "Well," he just let go, making them all wait for his answer. Michael just stood there thinking about something else. He gazed over at Tarin one last time with a puzzled look on his face.

Wearing that same ridiculous baseball cap on backwards, Tarin stared back at him too. "Well what?"

Swallowing his pride, Michael confessed, "My father knows some people who live here in Oahu. They own a helicopter tour service. My father suggested since I was coming out here to do this study that I should end up having some fun." He stopped abruptly and gave Joey a dirty look. "Well, my father already called ahead and made the arrangements for _us_. We're scheduled to fly at one." Michael then halted again to look at the girls. All three girls were filled with anticipation. "Now look, I don't even know what the hell kind of tour it is anyway! It could be completely booked!"

"You're incredible man!" Joey exclaimed, disgusted with this friend's selfishness.

"Why?" Michael asked, honestly.

"Because you're too cheap to fork out the rest of the money for the girl's, that's why!"

"Wrong Joey! _Ass..._ "

"Oh hell," Rae spoke up next, "how much does it cost?" Rae was never worried about money.

"About $200 each," Michael stated, unsure.

"No problem," Rae simply said.

Tarin tapped Rae on her shoulder. Whispering in her ear, she declared, "I don't have $200 to just throw away like that, I'm on a budget here Rae, Russ gave me the American Express only for strict emergencies."

Rae whispered back to her, "Don't worry, I've got it." She then spoke up normal so that the boys could hear her, "I just need to stop by the nearest ATM before we go."

Michael shook his head, "Uh— _wrong_ , not enough time. I did mention one o'clock? It's 12:15 now! We've still gotta get to the airport."

"Oh com'on Mikey," Joey pleaded, "couldn't we at least have her try?" Joey then walked over to where Tarin was standing.

Tarin reacted just like she normally did; calm on the outside, on the inside, _befuddled_. Joey's nearness always made her want to touch him. He was just a few steps away from her wanting to do so—a few steps closer—too close for Tarin and Tarin took a few steps backwards before she did.

Michael stared Joey down. He was definitely starting to piss him off. "Aaah fuck!" He exclaimed, looking over at Rae. "Never mind, I'll make the arrangements," he sighed, looking down at his watch, "com'on— _let's go_ —or we'll be late!"

Rae punched Tarin in the arm, "See, what'd I tell ya? Works every time!" She giggled softly, pleased with her performance.

# Chapter Eleven

Barely making it to the airport with five minutes to spare, the six college students met up with _Ghost_ , a helicopter pilot, whose real name was Stewart Hammond, DFC, BSM, PH, AM.

_Ghost_ , a highly decorated soldier, was a quiet fellow who once flew transport for the Marines in Vietnam, did not make friends very easily, but warmed up to the two blondes and the lovely brunette.

"Just thought I'd make the flight interesting, folks," he said to the girls, flirting with them, "Buckle up ladies, you're in for the ride of your lives..."

Moments later, the helicopter's blades lifted the passengers up and away from the Honolulu airport. The helicopter veered to the left quickly and unsteadily, and the three girls all showed signs of throwing up, all second-guessing their choices now.

_Ghost_ flew them over the National Memorial Cemetery where some 22,000 people were buried from fighting with the Japanese, during World War II. Then Pearl Harbor, with its eerie ship that lay underneath the white rectangular memorial that floated over it, like a bar of soap. Then onto Waimea Bay, with its breath taking coral shrine that sheltered the deep ocean just a few minutes away.

Tarin sat opposite Joey, looking down at the breath-taking view of Na Pali Coast. _Ghost_ flew them inward, closer than usual and Tarin gasped in awe. Joey unbuckled himself and quickly jumped over to sit in the empty seat next to Tarin.

"Joey! You crazy idiot! What are you doing?" Tarin cried out, disbelieving he did that in mid-flight.

"Protecting you Madame! Just sit there and enjoy it."

Tarin didn't know how to respond to _that_ and just kept her mouth shut.

_Ghost_ then flew them over Waimea Canyon. Waimea Canyon was extraordinary! The canyon had been nicknamed _the little Grand Canyon_ which was greener than the _big Grand Canyon_ , but just as awe-inspiring to see.

Then everyone screamed when _Ghost_ flew them in between the mountains and cliffs. _Even the guys screamed._

_Hawaii was magnificent_ , Tarin thought as she closed her eyes, feeling tranquil that she was even there, experiencing a flight of a lifetime. Tarin then thought about her thesis paper that she had been working on the other night, and went over the details inside her head, as _Ghost_ flew them over the gorgeous palm tree forest of Lanai.

> **Tarin's Foreign Culture Thesis:**
> 
> * * *
> 
> In 1778, the arrival of British explorer James Cook became the first of Hawaii's European explorers. Cook named the islands the "Sandwich Islands" in honor of one of his sponsors, John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. He published the geographical coordinates of the islands and reported the native name as "Owyhee". Cook visited the Hawaiian Islands twice and during his second visit in 1779, he attempted to abduct a Hawaiian chief and hold him as ransom for return of a ship's boat that was stolen, and the chief's supporters fought back, and Cook was killed. After Cook's visit and the publication of several books relating his voyages, the Hawaiian Islands received many European visitors: explorers, traders and eventually whalers who found the islands a convenient harbor and source of fresh food. Early British influence could still be found on the design of the local flag of Hawaii which has the British Union flag in its corner. Visitors introduced diseases to the formerly isolated islands, and the Hawaiian population plummeted. Native Hawaiians did not have resistance to influenza, smallpox and measles and during the 1850's, measles killed over a fifth of Hawaii's population. During the 1790's, the chiefs were constantly fighting for power. After a series of battles that ended in 1795, all the inhabited islands were conquered under a single ruler; King Kamehameha the Great and he established the House of Kamehameha, a dynasty that ruled over the kingdom until 1872. Christian missionaries began to arrive in the early 1800's and eventually converted many of the population to Christianity. Their influence led Kamehameha II to end the human sacrifice, and Kamehameha III was the first Christian King.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Hawaii was the newest of the 50 U.S. states and was the only state made up entirely of islands. It was located on an archipelago in the central Pacific Ocean, southwest of the continental United States and southeast of Japan. The state was admitted to the Union on August 21, 1959. The state encompassed nearly the entire volcanic Hawaiian Island chain, which comprises hundreds of islands spread over 1,500 miles. The eight "main islands" are Niihau, Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, Kahoolawe, Maui and Hawaii. Hawaii was the southernmost state of United States, and the second westernmost state after Alaska. Only Hawaii and Alaska are outside the contiguous United States, and do not share a border with any other state. Hawaii is the only state that is not geographically located in North America, and is completely surrounded by water, and does not have a straight line in its state boundary.
> 
> * * *
> 
> All of the Hawaiian Islands are formed by volcanoes that erupted from the sea. Because of the islands' volcanic formation, native life before human activity was said to have arrived in the "three W's": Wind (carried through the air), Waves (brought by ocean currents) and Wings (birds, insects and whatever they brought with them). The isolation of the Hawaiian Islands were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and the wide range of environments were found on the high islands located near the tropic had resulted in a vast array of flora and fauna. Hawaii had more endangered species, and had lost a higher percentage of its prevalent species than anywhere in the United States. The history of Hawaii can be traced through a succession of dominating industries: sandalwood, whaling, sugarcane, pineapple, military, tourism and education.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The aboriginal culture of Hawaii is Polynesian. Hawaii represented the vast Polynesian triangle of the South and Central Pacific Ocean. While traditional culture remained only as evidence of modern Hawaiian society, there are reenactments of the ceremonies and traditions throughout the islands. Some of these cultural influences were even strong enough to have affected the culture of the United States at large, including the popularity of luaus and the "hula".

~ Tarin Howard-Picardo

Foreign Culture 102

# Chapter Twelve

### Wednesday

The day was already hot and humid, and the three girls decided to go down to Waikiki to search for souvenirs. They ended up at the Waikiki Swap Meet and began to browse through the many, many vendors.

"Hey, look at this!" Ceeci cried, trying to get the other two girls attention. Holding up her hands for Rae and Tarin to view, she held up a rather unique shaped pair of Puka shells; viewing them as if she were looking at the crown jewels of England.

"What's the matter?" Rae asked, arriving alongside her.

Ceeci turned around and smiled, holding the necklace to her heart. "Look, aren't they wonderful? I haven't seen anything this close to _shell ng dagat_ in a long time."

Tarin and Rae both looked quizzically at each other.

"OK," Rae let out, "I'll ask. What the hell is a _dagat-what-ever_ you call it?"

Ceeci brought the necklace up to the sun, and wrapped it around her fingers making love to it some more. "Shell ng dagat. It's Filipino, for sea shells."

"And you think these Puka shells look like shells from back home?" Tarin asked openly.

Ceeci looked at her oddly, "What do you mean back home?"

Tarin peeked at Rae for support, "Um,...I meant back home, you know, back in the Philippines?"

"I wasn't born there," Ceeci snapped, walking away from the girls now. She walked over to the elderly vendor and handed her the necklace so that she could purchase it.

"I'm sorry Ceeci if I offended you," Tarin walked behind her. "I thought you'd be proud of your heritage."

"Are you proud of yours?" Ceeci bit back.

Tarin laughed nervously, "What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know you very well Tarin, but what I do know, I don't like."

Tarin was now offended by _her_ remark. She honestly thought Ceeci and her were good friends! "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Tarin, ever since I met you in class, you've always tried to act like someone you're not," Ceeci plainly put it.

Rae just stood there in shock, disbelieving she was even hearing the conversation.

Tarin looked at Rae again for support, "Someone I'm not?"

"Yah, someone you're not. Like, you're white."

Tarin looked over at the vendor who was wrapping the shells in a cardboard box. "But I _am_ white!"

"Tarin," Ceeci explained, holding the box now in a plastic bag from the vendor. "What are you, Irish or something?"

"My grandmother was actually from Germany," Tarin admitted, rolling her eyes at Rae.

"OK, so you're German, do you act like a German?" Ceeci asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Act like a German? You mean, do I walk around eating strudel and dress with swastikas on my forearm?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way," Ceeci remarked walking down the sidewalk again, alone and ahead of her friends. "What I meant was, Tarin, you're beautiful, you have the American dream already. You should be proud of where you came from, where you are, where you're _at_."

Tarin started to laugh sarcastically, "Huh! And I don't?"

Ceeci looked straight into her eyes. "I don't know your personal life but I've seen your husband pick you up from school on occasion. It's all very touching. He kisses you, you kiss him back. You must have everything Tarin; a house, a car, nice clothes. You should appreciate the things you have, instead of wishing you could have more. If there was one thing that I've learned through my heritage, it's to not wish I had more, but to appreciate the things I already have."

Tarin nodded her head, "But I do appreciate what I have."

"Then stop what you're doing with Joey, and appreciate your husband."

Tarin's eyes bugged out, "It's really that obvious now?"

"Yes Tarin and you look really stupid flirting with him."

Tarin gave Ceeci an impromptu hug, "Thanks Ceeci."

Tarin then looked at the empty space beside her. "Where's Rae?"

"She was just here."

"Oh my God, Rae!" Tarin yelled out for no reason. "Rae!" She turned to face Ceeci again, "We lost her?"

Ceeci began to yell as well, "Rae!" And then separated from Tarin for the moment.

"Rae!"

_"Rae!"_

"Rae!" Ceeci yelled out one last time to meet up with Tarin again. "How could she be lost? She was just here! Where do you think she ran off to?"

They both began to walk around the venders independently, yelling out her name.

"Rae!"

_"Rae!"_

Then caught up with one another after searching in a complete circle.

"She's gone," Tarin determined, "she could be anywhere, here, I'll call her cell." Tarin then pulled out her cell phone, and then noticed she had no _bars_. Damn AT&T, she knew she should have signed up with Verizon! "I don't have a connection."

"Darn! And I didn't bring mine either!" Ceeci stated, gazing around them again. "I left it at the estate; the battery went dead last night, so I'm charging it in my room on the bed."

"Now what do we do?"

Ceeci began to laugh. "Look at us! Stranded on the island because our cell phones won't work! OK, you wait here, I'll go find a phone and call her cell. Wait over there by the bus stop; I don't want to lose you too."

Tarin sat down on the bus bench like she was told and then opened up Ceeci's gift box to take a sneak peek at her cherished Puka shells. _So much pride for her homeland_ , she thought, _So much pride for the person she already is_. And then Tarin took out the shells and smiled at them. _At home, I have a Puka necklace just like this one, but this one has so much more significance_.

Tarin placed the necklace back into the box and looked up to see if Ceeci was on her way back; she wasn't. But in the corner of her eye however, she _does_ see a man that suddenly intrigued her. Closing her eyes and shaking her head, she thought again, _Tarin what are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Why are you still looking for someone? You have someone already! Like Ceeci said, you have everything!_

Tarin subsequently reopened her eyes, the man was still in her peripheral view—darn him. She straightened out her head, and surveyed her victim with two very engrossed eyes and found the hottie put together rather nice. Adequately proportioned from his flip side, and what was this? Tarin instantly noticed the color of his dark brown, almost jet-black hair, as he pulled his knit cap off. She practically ate up his black shorts that seemed to stick to his skin, and his royal blue tank top that passably molded to his well-developed chest. He was very muscular, and well defined, and just the sight of him, his backside, the curvature of his broad shoulders, affected Tarin's every sense. Every inch of him filled her body with lust, and just like the guy she met at the supermarket, Tarin was besotted. "Oh, what the hell's wrong with you Tarin?" She asked herself out loud. "Is that what you want? Do you _want_ to have an affair? Do you want a divorce from Russ? Make up your damn mind already!"

Tarin looked away from the hottie from across the street for the moment, and eyed Ceeci coming back towards her. When Tarin looked back to where the guy had been, _he was gone_.

"I didn't reach her, she's not picking up," Ceeci related, out of breath. "I left a message on her cell though. I don't know where the hell she could be. I don't know about you, but this is really freaking me out."

Tarin and Ceeci began to walk over to the Waikiki Swap Meet again, and ended up at a place called _Restaurant Row_. Their faces looked worried and defeated when Tarin eyed Eddie, Joey and Michael on the other side of the street.

"There are the guys!" Tarin said, excited to see help.

"Where?" Ceeci asked, turning her head all around her.

"Over there!" Tarin pointed, pinning them down across the street. "Let's go see if they can help us find Rae."

Both girls ran across the street and yelled for their attention.

"Hey guys!" Ceeci shrieked out first.

"We lost Rae!" Tarin conveyed next.

Ceeci gazed at each one of them, "Can you help us find her?"

Eddie crowded Ceeci, "Yah, where'd you see her last?"

"In the Waikiki Swap Meet," Tarin related pointing towards the direction. She then noticed that Joey looked stylish again in his khaki shorts and thongs. _Oh gee_ , she thought, _he remains cute as ever_.

Joey looked deeply into Tarin's eyes, "Why don't we all split up and meet back here in about thirty minutes?"

"That's a good idea," Eddie agreed.

Tarin noticed that Eddie too was wearing corduroy shorts and had nice legs; he was wearing shoreline attire as well. _Where did they just come from? The beach? Surfing?_ "Yah, that's a good idea," she agreed, doing a double-take when she noticed that Michael was wearing all black.

"OK," Eddie agreed, and then commanded, "Mikey and I will go that way," he instructed, pointing in all different directions, "While you and Ceeci go that way; and Joey, you go this way."

They all began to walk their separate ways when Joey spoke up, "Hey Tarin! Why don't you go with me?" He asked, walking over closer to her.

Tarin looked down at the ground, not knowing what to do her heart raced, the feelings she had for him were really hard to ignore.

Michael turned around and saw Joey and Tarin together. "Hey," he said, budding in, "Why don't I go with Tarin?"

Joey watched Michael as he walked over to Tarin's other side and the two young men met eye to eye.

"Dude, what the hell you tryin' to do?" Joey asked, disbelieving his friend would try to cock-block him.

"Save your ass," Michael quickly relayed, "and _hers_. Let's go Tarin," he initiated, grabbing her arm.

With Michael's hand still grasping at her arm, Tarin turned her head to see Ceeci, Eddie and now a disgruntled Joey, walk away.

Moments later, there was nothing but silence between them; a cold friendliness in the air. Tarin tried to walk further and farther away from him but Capelli could not be dodged. Michael would walk up on the sidewalk, while Tarin would purposely walk on the street.

Michael was only silent for a few seconds more, until the anger inside him seemed to erupt like a volcano on one of the islands. "What the hell are you trying to do?"

"Why?" Tarin quickly reacted.

"Why do you want to ruin your life with an asshole like Joey?

"What the heck are you talking about?" Tarin asked, pulling her sweater off from around her waist. The clouds up above them looked as if they were about to dump gallons of water on them and everything in sight.

Michael let go a chuckle, a laugh still in his words. "What? What am I talking about? It's so obvious Tarin; the look, the glances, the struts, the wiggles. Why do you keep throwing yourself at that moron?! He's an _asshole_ Tarin, and besides, you're married!"

Tarin paused to look away from him for a moment. Boiling tension filled her body. Everyone was on her case lately! "Who the heck do you think you are? My little brother or something? You've got some nerve! We don't even know each other!" Tarin stopped, and shook her head; she couldn't believe this conversation!

Out of nowhere, it began to pour. Showers of heated rain began to fall on top of their heads and drench them and everything in sight. Reacting quickly, the vendors all began pulling down their doors to their carts to shelter their merchandise from getting wet, and Michael grabbed at Tarin's arm again pulling her over to an empty two-by-two storefront.

"Quit touching me!" Tarin exclaimed, pushing his hand away from her body.

Then silence; stillness and heavy breathing. They both gazed out of the storefront as the murky clouds saturate the island.

"Joey and I are none of your business," Tarin calmly said for no reason at all, "I know what I'm doing."

"That's not what Joey says," Michael quickly related, grabbing his cigarettes from his jacket pockets. They were soggy and he began to try to dry them out.

Michael's remark alarmed Tarin. _But she hadn't done anything yet!_ "And what _is_ Joey saying?"

"It's none of my business, remember?" Michael dispatched sarcastically, blowing on one particular cigarette.

Tarin narrowed her eyes on him, "I hate you—you know that?"

Michael nodded his head, "Yah, I know." He then looked away from her and out at the pouring rain. Continuing to puff on his cigarette, he searched in his other jacket pocket for his lighter.

Tarin then eyed a couple running to their car with a newspaper over their heads, and quickly looked back over at Michael. He was lighting up his cigarette with his lighter now. With no baseball cap on backwards, his hair was wet from the rain, and Tarin was able to scrutinize him in a different setting. Bodies closer than usual, Tarin was actually able to see his face in depth and more visibly.

With an olive tone complexion, Michael owned dark stubble everywhere on his face and chin. Dark lashes hid blue eyes, his legs were decent yet defined, and then Tarin's eyes began to spread wider when she realized he had very dark, almost _black hair_.

_Jet-black hair?_

Tarin crossed her arms, and gave Michael another dirty look for prosperity. She had mixed feelings at this point, very mixed feelings. She was just about to start back into her battle with him when she gazed down at his clothes. With a black sweat-jacket on and black beach wear, a tiny upside down triangle of _**royal blue** _penetrated Tarin's sanity. Her eyes bugged out immediately and her heart began to race! Feeling the sudden urge, she acted on impulse and stepped into Michael— _surprising the hell out of him_ —and unzipped his jacket. Michael's top was royal blue?

_It was a royal blue tank top!_

Tarin jumped away from him and glued her body back to the stucco wall on the opposite side, and her strange demeanor seemed to amuse him immeasurably.

"You OK?" Michael asked, with a smile embraced to his face, wiping down the front of his chest and jacket. "Did you see a bug or something?" He asked, continuing to chuckle and looking down at Tarin's feet and the wall behind her.

Tarin just stood there like some kind of idiot, gaping at him as he beamed; _and, Oh God—his blue eyes? They were a striking blue, not your ordinary sky blue, but a deep crayon blue, more like Marisa's favorite color 'Midnight Blue' and heaven help her, his smile? Who knew he had such straight white teeth with all the scowling that he did._ He was ten times better looking then Joey Arcos could ever be when he delivered that arousing grin. "No bugs," Tarin quickly relayed, disguising her actions.

Michael pulled out the cigarette from his mouth and leaned—James Dean like—with one leg up against the wall. "Are you cold?"

Tarin continued to stare at him, "No, why?"

"You're trembling," he quipped, dropping his blue eyes along the curve of her body.

And Tarin watched those blue eyes as they slid down rather intensely to her physique. His inspection of her was an invasion to her senses...and just as powerful, sweltering...and he probably didn't even realize the magnetism he seemed to stir within those short few seconds. "Trembling?" Tarin simply stated, trying to disguise her symptoms, "Who's trembling?" She _was_ shivering, and it wasn't because of the weather either. _Oh God, Michael had been the guy she had been lusting over on the bus bench?_

Michael continued to smirk to himself and puff on his stupid cigarette, looking every bit of sexy, and not even appreciating it. And Tarin unexpectedly found herself extremely attracted to him in that moment. Engrossed with him in the way she was instantly fascinated by Joey; more so in fact, but he wasn't Joey, _she knew that,_ he wasn't Russ either, _she knew that too_ , and Tarin was absolutely terrified at the thought of knowing Michael Capelli _at all_.

# Chapter Thirteen

At the end of the day, they all sat down at the sophisticated dining room table and played poker again. Instead of drinking wine coolers and beer this time, they did shots. A concoction mixed with vodka, sugar and lemon juice. An hour later, they were all drunk; their words were harsher and their questions a little more personal...

Eddie won. Two pairs.

"Hey Rae, where the hell were you yesterday?" He asked, pouring vodka into an empty shot glass. He handed it to her.

Rae took the shot and then started to nervously laugh. She already informed Tarin and Ceeci of her whereabouts, and they both understood.

She had a little _accident_ with her clothes, rather her underwear, and had to go back to the estate to change—and fast. She wasn't about to confess her time of the month with the opposite sex, so she lied. "I walked away for just a second, and the stupid streets, they all looked the same! Well, I kept running!" She wheezed, wiping off her brow after pouring the shot down her throat. "Around vendors, to find these two girls and I couldn't find _shit!_ I kept calling their cells, but no one would answer. So I just caught the first taxi, told the driver the address to the estate and you know the rest," she laughed continuously, hoping that the fib would be justified.

Eddie sat next to Ceeci. Ceeci, by this time, was totally infatuated with Edward Lassiter. Every time that he would laugh and raise his hands in the air, his leg would move underneath the table and would rub against Ceeci's. Her eyes would fluster and she would inadvertently take a shot glass and pour it down her own throat.

Joey kept staring at Tarin, wondering when he should make his move; and Rae kept staring at Joey, wondering why he wasn't the least bit interested in her or her chest. Tarin was confused about Michael, and Michael just didn't give a damn.

### 1:30 A.M.

The game went on. Joey won this time. Four of a kind, all Aces'. He was on top of the earth, very drunk, and full of raging hormones.

"OK Tarin babe, you're gonna answer me a question," Joey smiled, handing her a shot glass.

Tarin sensed something was wrong and watched Rae take another shot.

"Tarin babe, how's 'bout taking' a dare?" Joey asked with one cute eyebrow of his, high in the air.

Rae spat out all the liquid in her mouth, sprinkling the drink all over the dining room table.

"Aaah sick!" Michael complained, standing up from the table then sitting back down after he grabbed a nearby T-shirt of his, throwing it across at Rae.

Rae grabbed the shirt and began wiping off the speckles, drunk as could be and accidentally (or maybe on purpose) exposing her cleavage to everyone, as she leaned over.

Tarin turned Joey's way. "Like what?" She asked quickly, pulling Joey's gaze away from Rae's breasts.

Michael inclined forward with both hands on the edge of the table like he was about to push it over in a rage.

Joey leaned in towards Tarin and whispered into her ear, "Like going upstairs with me to see what develops?"

"Now, that's not fair Jo-eee!" Rae grumbled, pushing his shoulder playfully. "What'cha say to her?"

Tarin was nervous now, a bubbling sensation stirred inside her stomach. _Was she really that drunk?_ She eyed Michael, she still didn't know about Michael. "OK."

Eddie's leg rubbed up against Ceeci's again.

"You wanna know what he said?" Tarin suddenly asked to everyone.

"No, babe," Joey said, grabbing her hand underneath the table, "Just between us."

Tarin looked into his eyes. _They were so dreamy! He was too cute for words._ Tarin then took a quick look over at Michael; Michael wasn't paying any attention to them. Tarin couldn't read him like she did Joey, and he was wearing that damn hat on backwards again!

Ceeci yawned. Eddie yawned.

Rae kept looking over at Joey and Tarin, wondering what they were about to do when they both gazed shyly away from one another.

Eddie took down another shot. "Ah hell, I'm going to bed," he pronounced, pushing his body away from the table.

Ceeci agreed and they both got up at the same time and Ceeci stepped on Eddie's foot by accident. "Oh Edward, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Here, I'll walk with you up stairs," Eddie softly said to her. Ceeci smiled. Eddie smiled and they left the dining room together.

Rae now looked over at Michael. "Mikey—there's love in the air, can you smell it?"

"I smell something," he quickly transmitted, dropping his eyes and then gluing them to Tarin.

Tarin curved into Joey on purpose.

Rae bent over to whisper into Michael's ear, "There's a night gown I would like you to see, wanna come upstairs and feel it?"

Michael took out the cigarette that was dangling from his mouth. He'd be a fool not to accept her invitation, Rae was pretty in her own right. "Sounds interesting."

Rae and Michael then got up and left the dining room together.

Tarin was truly upset now. _The plan wasn't working. She wanted to get Michael jealous again. She wanted him to be so angry with Joey that he'd give her his undivided attention. One last chance._ "Joey," she exclaimed, especially loud, so that everyone could hear her. "I'll go to bed with you on one condition." Tarin stopped right there. That was all it took.

"What's the condition?" Joey asked with anticipation.

"That you don't tell any-one, any-thing, any-more. Deal?" Tarin couldn't see them, but she knew that they were there: Rae on the third step of the stairs, Michael on the second; both looking at each other, wondering what the hell Tarin was thinking.

Rae came back down and from around the corner.

"Tarin?" Rae asked, walking over to her side. "Don't you think you should get some sleep? Alone?"

Tarin doesn't turn to look at her. She doesn't want to talk to Rae, she was wondering where the hell Michael was.

"Joey, don't be an asshole," Michael finally spoke up. He was still on the staircase. "She's married for crissakes!"

Tarin subsequently turned around happy, but crazed. "Mind your own business, remember?" She yelled back at him.

Michael now came from around the corner and stared her down. He _should_ mind his own business and gave up without further headache, "Your life and your business."

But Tarin wasn't ready to give up just yet, her blood was still boiling, "That's right, my life and _my_ business."

But Michael still had a little control over Joey. "What the hell are you doing Joey? She doesn't know what the hell she's saying, she's drunk for crissakes!"

"I know what I'm doing!" Joey yelled back at him, standing up and away from the table. He held out his hand to Tarin and Tarin doesn't hesitate, she grabbed at that hand.

"Tarin, please come to bed before you do something really stupid," Rae cajoled, grabbing at her other arm.

Tarin gazed down at Rae's grip. "I know what I'm doing Rae, go away."

Joey held her hand and led her away, "Let's go baby."

"OK, wait a moment," she said only to him. Tarin then turned around and eyed Michael walking away from them now and back up the stairs.

At the bottom of the staircase, Michael brushed up against Rae as he passed her in a rage. "What's your hurry Mikey? Don't you like me?" Rae asked, looking up at him seductively.

Michael circled his eyes around her lovely face, "Oh Rae..." He then took a step down and gently brushed away some hair that had been clogging her vision. "Get some sleep baby doll; I'm afraid I won't be much fun tonight."

Rae was too observant, "I know a way to relieve some of that pent up anger."

Michael leered down at her again, "I bet you do."

Tarin sat Joey down on a chair; on the verge of something kinky in the kitchen.

"This could be interesting," Joey smiled, eating Tarin's beauty up as she paraded around him on the tile.

Tarin rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up Joey," she scolded at him like a parent. "I have to admit, I _am_ attracted to you. I've always been attracted to guys who look like you. My husband looks like you," she let go sort of matter-of-factly. "Joey, I didn't mean to lead you on. I never did. This game of ours has got out of hand and I apologize. It was fun flirting with you, but it's over Joey. I'm a married woman...and it's about time I realize it."

Joey sat silent in his chair. He looked confused. He'd been cut off—shafted? He was also in shock. No girl ever turned him down before...this was a first. He just sat there silent and continued to look at Tarin while she took out the milk from the refrigerator. He could have been mistaken. He just had to figure out a way to keep Tarin in the kitchen long enough to make it _look_ like something was going on, and he'd play it from there.

A few hours later, Tarin went to sleep alone and woke up to the same noise she heard just a couple of nights before.

This time, Tarin knew who the man was. In the shadows, he didn't scare her, rather the opposite, he was _protecting_ _her_ , and all she could remember, as she felt herself dosing off to a listless, dreamless sleep, was the soft, but very powerful light of fire that was coming from a cigarette in his mouth.

_Michael's mouth_.

# Chapter Fourteen

### Thursday

Tarin woke up the next morning around 10:00 A.M. Without moving, she stared at her reflection staring back at her in the bedroom mirror up above her. She stared at herself so long, a single tear rolled down her cheek. A few more tears until she began to weep completely. _She didn't want to leave._ Tomorrow was Friday and Tarin fell in love with Hawaii. All her old problems had faded away and she couldn't stand the thought of not being able to wake up in the morning and not see Michael.

Getting out of bed wasn't so easy. Tarin looked over at the clock again. 11:30 A.M. She had slept _so_ late. She induced herself to get dressed and while she was buttoning up her shirt, she overheard laughing and splashing from the outside.

Walking over to her private balcony, she gazed down. Rae, Ceeci and Eddie were swimming and sunning themselves by the pool. Tarin waved to them, and they all waved back. She then wondered where Michael and Joey were.

Barely walking down the hallway, on her way towards the staircase, Tarin could hear voices coming up from down below. It was the two boys. They were in the middle of a heated argument and Tarin hid behind a fake palm tree at the top of the stairs so she could hear them in secret...

"Sorry Joey, but I can't help ya. I don't understand how someone can just waste all their tuition money on a chick," Michael let go nervously fiddling with his cigarettes inside his hands. "Serves you right, you're always doing shit like this. When you gonna learn?"

"You don't know the half of it," Joey conveyed, shoving his hands down the front of his short pockets. "I need that five grand by next week, or else I'm gonna get kicked outta school."

"Well then you should of thought about that before you bought that chick a bracelet. Now she's gone, and took your damn present with her. You're such a moron."

"You know I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't need the money Mike. I really need that money."

"Oh, quit crying just because you're poor. You make me sick with all your bitchin and complain' about your damn scholarship. Just be happy you got accepted to Princeton."

Oh, I don't even know why I even come to you," Joey complained, walking away from Michael. "You're such an ass Mike—I thought buddies were supposed to help out other buddies."

"Well maybe we shouldn't be _buddies_ ," Michael revealed.

"Man, you're such a fuckin' asshole. I ask you for _one_ favor and you freak out!"

"There you go again Joey; you don't know how to quit. Why do you _even_ go to school, huh? All you do all day long is just fart around during class, hit on chicks and veg. Damn, you don't need the money; you don't even need an education. You're such a waste," Michael disgustingly said. He then took out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth, but didn't light it; he just pressed it against his lips in anger.

"You're just ticked off 'cause I slept with Tarin last night!" Joey suddenly confessed.

"And you're such a fuckin liar!" Michael stated, waving his finger at Joey. Michael _now_ lit his cigarette. With one puff, he observed Rae, Ceeci and Eddie all enjoying the beautiful day outside by the pool.

"Yah right," Joey challenged him.

"I don't give a shit about your personal life."

Joey was surprised. He thought that line would honestly get to Michael, but it didn't. "Then I guess this means you don't want to hear what went on then?"

Michael walked over towards the glass window. Again he looked out at the three happy students, not a care in the world. "Not particularly," he acknowledged. But when he was about to turn around, he saw clearly in the reflection of the glass, Tarin's image up on the staircase, looking down at them in secret. "End of discussion Joey," Michael abruptly expressed, turning around.

"Bullshit Mikey! This conversation ain't over! You think you're hot shit prancin' around with all the ladies on your arm! Well let me tell you somethin' Mikey, the sorry truth is that you're just a loser. Those babes wouldn't pay any attention to you if you weren't loaded. Those chicks wouldn't even give you a second glance 'cause you're so fuckin ugly! _You're_ the waste Mikey, a fuckin-shame of a waste!" Joey then wiped off his forehead, he was sweating to death. The air was hot that day. Hot, humid, dense and severe.

Michael didn't say anything else, hoping that Joey would just shut up already so that Tarin wouldn't hear anymore.

"Mikey, you're the jerk, a total ass!" Joey continued.

"Don't I know it," Michael agreed.

"Know this asshole!" Joey stated, walking in closer to Michael. So close, their chest's met. He purposely pulled out the cigarette from Michael's mouth. "I know your weaknesses, boy do I know them, and I could easily expose them— _easily_." Joey then walked away from Michael and proceeded up the staircase. When he spotted Tarin running away, he looked down at Michael and just smiled. " _Easily_ expose them."

# Chapter Fifteen

Moments later, Tarin reached her room and ran straight away to her private balcony. Tarin walked over to the rail to witness Rae, Ceeci and Eddie all greeting Joey when he came out to join them soaking up the sun. Just then, Tarin heard Michael opening up his window for some fresh air. She recalled that strange noise she kept hearing every time she saw the figure on the balcony watching her at night. It was the same exact noise she heard just a moment ago, and realized that Michael's room was next to hers.

Walking back into the bedroom, Tarin gazed over at her packed suitcases and knew instantly she doesn't want to leave. A few seconds later Tarin's bedroom door opens up. "Rae?" She asked, thinking it was Rae.

"No, Michael. Did I scare you?"

A faint smile appeared on Tarin's lips. "No, no you didn't," she just said softly, and when Tarin saw his body, she couldn't help but gawk.

Michael was wearing only his swimming trunks and nothing else. "Want to go for a swim?" He asked, locking eyes with hers.

Tarin knew that it must have been obvious, she couldn't help but stare. His chest was smooth and ripped and he had the leanest body Tarin had ever seen. He was so provocative at that moment, Tarin had to keep denying over and over her new feelings about him. "I overheard what Joey said about me."

Michael looked passed her and walked out towards the view over on the balcony. He thought about Tarin listening to him and Joey arguing. "Yah, I know...but you don't have to worry about anything," he expressed turning around to face her.

Tarin followed him outside. "No, but Michael, you need to know what the truth is." Tarin looked away from him for a moment. There was not a cloud in the sky today. The sky was a clear deep blue. There was no weather issue for them to come together this time, no door front or small space.

Michael hushed her, "No, I think I owe _you_ an explanation. I mean, you came right at the end of our conversation." Michael then stood still. Afraid of what Tarin might think of him. "I had an affair with one of my professors."

Tarin watched him pace away from her nearness and zero in on the wrought-iron fence. "You had an affair with your teacher?"

Michael nodded his head, "Yah, and Joey found out about it and if I don't give him five grand, he'll go to the Dean and get me kicked outta school."

"So he's black-mailing you?"

"Yah...I can't get kicked out of school Tarin, my father will kill me. It's his Alma Mater, so I have no other choice."

"Oh my God," Tarin expressed, shaking her head at Joey's garbage and then focusing on him splashing in the pool down below like some innocent kid.

"He's some piece of work, isn't he?"

Tarin nodded her head again, "Yah, he's something else." Just then, Tarin was caught staring at Michael's body again.

Michael quickly changed the subject and walked back into the bedroom. To his surprise, Tarin followed him inside, "Tarin, what's going on?"

Tarin stood still and gazed away from his mesmerizing frame, and up to his blue eyes; worse, for sure. "What do you mean?"

Michael smirked, "The other day, and _now_."

Tarin looked into his blues, they were so elusive. Eyes attached to his, body aching for his. He flashed his pearly whites at her and Tarin nearly expired. She desperately tried to blink him out of her fascination, "And now? And the other day?"

Michael at this moment leaned his back up against her closed door and crossed his arms across his pecks. "Yah, something went on the other day, when it rained, you did something that intrigued me."

Tarin shook her head, "I don't know what you're talking about." She was in deep, deep denial at this point.

Michael came away from the door and walked passed her on his way towards the balcony. "You discovered something, and I'm curious to find out what it was."

Tarin swallowed hard; it was almost painful to look at him now. Her heart raced, more powerful, more intense. Tarin was on the door step of an irreversible act. "I'm attracted to you," she confessed, staring into his eyes as he turned around to read hers.

"I'm attracted to you as well," Michael admitted. He then lowered his gape to her physique and blinked back up again to watch Tarin's eyes fill with lust; heat enough to burn, and he instantly picked up on it. "And what I also know," he guessed, keeping his distance, "Is that if I go ahead and hit on you, then I'd be just as bad as Joey. A hypocrite for sure."

Tarin moved away from him. "Oh Michael, you're so right," she confessed, leaning her head back against the French door.

Michael gazed down at the ground. "Yah, I hate it when I'm right."

Tarin's heart jumped, there was a gleam of hope...but for what? "I don't know what I'm feeling right now," Tarin cried, bringing her hands up to her face, "I'm not allowed to feel anything for you."

Michael was shocked, "You feel something for me?"

Tarin said too much, "I'm married for crissakes!"

Michael just froze. Everything was worse. "Yah, I know," he replied, trying to force himself away from the urgency in her voice.

Tarin watched him intently as he moved in closer. She yearned to touch that silky skin of his, "But I wish I wasn't at this moment."

Michael stood his ground until the fire in her eyes was temptation too sizzling to ignore, and he reached for her warmly, and gently grabbed at one of her hands and held it in his. "Let's pretend it's just you and me," he coaxed, stroking her fingers for reassurance, "Close your eyes."

Tarin does what she was told.

"There are no other people in this room," he continued, sloping into her and giving her a feather-like kiss on her forehead, "It's just you and me."

"Just you and me," Tarin whispered back, her eyes still closed feeling the wonderful enticement of his lips on her skin, and without warning, Tarin felt his lips on hers and she was kissing him back with such sweet ardor.

"You taste amazing," he expressed, kissing her lightly, then deliberately, unhurried until his arm came up from behind her rear, and slowly grabbed Tarin's torso, pulling it into his.

_His tongue was amazing, his embrace and his desire._ "You feel good," Tarin purred, running her hands up and down his chest at will.

"I want you _so_ bad," he gruffly expressed, in and out of his persuasion.

Tarin opened up her eyes at last; she was so lost in her own hunger that she just couldn't see straight, "I want you too." With so much to surrender and so much to lose; a decision not thought out well enough, Tarin let go her inhibitions and kissed Michael passionately, and yielded to the fervor and allowed it to just happen.

# Chapter Sixteen

Outside by the pool, Rae was getting sunburned and reached over to the end table for some sun block when she spotted Tarin and Michael's reflection off of Tarin's balcony windows. _They were kissing?_ "Oh shit," she let go, lying back down. Rae looked over at her friends. Ceeci, Eddie and Joey didn't see a thing and Rae looked up at the balcony again, and watched as the two of them stopped fondling one another and closed the doors behind them. Rae just froze in her lounge chair in shock.

Back in the master bedroom, Tarin and Michael found themselves near the bed. Breaking away from his perfection, Tarin softly asked Michael to shut and lock the door. Tarin's last attempt at being decent. When he turned around, Tarin had already undressed herself and was waiting for him inside the bed. _At least she thought she was ready. Over and over inside her head was the question, "Was this right...was this right?"_ But when she watched him with uncertainty as he discarded himself of his swimming trunks, she allowed herself to go into complete denial.

Michael grabbed her fierce, the only way Tarin wanted him to; the only way she was going to go through with the actual sin was not to have any time to analyze its outcome. It made it more arousing to feel his body so insistent.

Tarin touched him with affection, as if she were touching Russ; opened up her legs wider for him, as if she were bedding her husband. She didn't feel shame and concentrated on her own desire, and this was not a fantasy when she was alone, this was the real thing!

When Tarin reached orgasm, and felt him reach his, she began to cry softly. Michael sensed the defeat in her and seized her whole body and held it close. And Tarin just held on.

When she first met Michael, she hated everything about him. He smoked, he wore ugly clothes, he was sloppy and unsociable; but now, Tarin loved his mouth, the smell of his hair, the taste of his skin and every offensive thing about him.

Michael kissed away her tears and then got up to go to the bathroom. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere," he pointed down at her, winking playfully.

Tarin after that turned around to lie on her belly. She smelled the bed sheets and determined she loved his smell! For as long as she lived, she would always remember that smell. It was _his_ essence, sort of that rugged-sweaty-smoky kind of scent that was all his. Michael was hers for an hour and Satan made it delicious.

# Chapter Seventeen

### Friday

Inside a plane, just after taking off from the Honolulu International Airport, Tarin was completely quiet. A carbon copy of when she arrived. But while looking out the tiny window this time, she could see the island of Oahu getting smaller and less significant.

Six hours later she was back on the mainland, and in California at LAX, where she waited patiently for a glimpse of Russ through the crowds of airport travelers. When she thought she noticed him in the distance, she did a double-take when she spotted a young man with a baseball cap on backwards. _It wasn't Michael; she knew that, Michael was half a world away by now._ But the impression was utterly convicting.

Russ grabbed Tarin's suitcase first out of her hand, and then gave his wife a small kiss on her lips. She didn't kiss him back. "Welcome back sweetheart," Russ welcomed her, truly happy to see his wife again.

Out from behind Russ' legs came Marisa. Sweet little Marisa, with the same face as her fathers, that gorgeous facade she once fell in love with. If only Tarin could detour the love she found for Michael, into the dying love she held for Russ. Tarin searched and searched for it in her heart, but it was missing. The love was missing, or _lost_.

Tarin then grabbed Marisa and held her close to her heart. Tarin hadn't forgotten the hardship she had endured while giving birth to her. The bond was still there, and Tarin began to cry because it _was_ still there. She was so happy to see Marisa at that moment, so very happy!

Back at home, Tarin was not asleep, but Russ was, he was content with his life back in order, and had no idea how messed up Tarin felt with hers. The house was quiet and Tarin laid awake pondering, and tried to make a hard decision come easy. Something was controlling her emotions. But what was it? She was possessed by an inner feeling of craving everything she ever dreamt of, and wanted it so much she could taste it.

Tarin got up from bed, careful not to wake up Russ while she packed a small bag full of clothes. And just before she left, she left a note for Russ on the dresser.

_What was she doing?_

_What was happening to her?_

Tarin then hopped on the next flight to New Jersey, and the next thing she knew she was on the doorstep of the Capelli residence.

When she arrived at Michael's home she was overwhelmed with hesitancy...and confusion. _What was happening to her? She was a normal person once! What was she doing there? This was nuts! Absolutely nuts! Was she in love with Michael? She didn't know, then why was she there? She didn't know that either. What was the power he held over her? She didn't have the answer to that one also. Was it the excitement...or was it the sex?_

A sense of insecurity and feelings of shame began to fill her spirit when she finally felt compelled to knock on his front door. _Why not chase him?_ She thought; _he was worth it, right?_ _What did she have to lose?_ _**Almost everything**!_ _This was a stupid thing to do,_ but Tarin was thinking stupid lately. _It was ridiculous! Gawd, she was even afraid to see him now! This was stupid, stupid, stupid...She should just turn back, just go home and Michael would never know she was even there._ And that was exactly what she did and turned around and began walking down the brick-lined steps, when the door opened up behind her.

It wasn't for her though, but to let someone out. It was the housekeeper and she was finished for the day, and she was going out the front door, instead of the back. Tarin was caught and with nowhere to hide, she just waved her hand hello. "Hi," she let go anxiously.

The housekeeper simply stared at her. "Oh, hi," she said, startled. The housekeeper was mortified. "Please don't tell Mr. Capelli that you saw me here. I will lose my job for sure if they knew I came out this way again."

Tarin noticed her fright, "No—no, I won't; your secrets safe with me."

Then the housekeeper started to walk away from Tarin. Tarin just froze; she still didn't know what to do. She then yelled out to the woman as she approached the entry gate. "Um, excuse me! I'm looking for Michael, is he here?"

The housekeeper turned around, but didn't actually stop to talk to Tarin. "Yes—yes, please let me leave first and then you can knock on the door."

Tarin watched the housekeeper as she walked out of view. Then Tarin went back to the doorway. She knocked softly, waited for a few seconds, then knocked a little harder this time. An awful sinking feeling went through her. _Was she just handed an exit plan and didn't cease it?_

The door opened. It was Michael.

"Oh my God," he just relayed, disbelieving he was really envisioning Tarin on his doorstep.

"Hi," she just said, feeling incredibly stupid all over again.

Michael kept his distance at the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by," Tarin lied, trying to find the reasons why she was really there.

Michael smiled, "You were in the neighborhood?"

Silence, an awkward moment.

"Aren't you gonna ask me to come in? It's awfully cold out here," Tarin asked, wrapping her arms around her chest.

Michael didn't let her in. In fact, he had the door half way open, disguising Tarin's view _into_ the house. "Tarin you should have called before," he instructed, with a harshness in his tone. "You should have told me you were coming by. We could have met somewhere else."

Tarin closed her mouth. _She didn't know how to respond to that! She was put on the spot. This was definitely a bad, bad idea!_ "Bad timing, huh?"

"Yes," Michael confessed, looking down at the ground.

"Bad idea, too?" Tarin sailed on, "I mean, our Hawaii fling, I mean _thing_ ,...what I meant was...I'm just gonna go—" Tarin turned around, and began to walk away.

At that exact moment, the door opened wider, and Michael called for her to come back. "Tarin, I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind lately, where's my manners? Please come in."

Inside the New Jersey mansion, Tarin got overwhelmed again. Michael escorted her in further to a beautiful display of opulence: Marbled floors, spiral staircase, crystal chandeliers, the house was twenty times larger than hers and much more elegant. Tarin froze again. _Oh God this was such a bad idea! "_ Oh Michael, I'm so sorry for barging in like this—"

Michael cut her off. "Tarin—not here, come with me into this other room," he said, grabbing Tarin by the arm.

He pulled her into a nearby powder room and Tarin was about to burst! _Why was she inside a bathroom? Maybe it was because..._ "Oh Michael, I'm so glad to see you!" She ended up saying, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. But he didn't hug her back and Tarin pulled away immediately from feeling so unwelcome.

"Tarin, there's something I have to tell you," Michael softly uttered, placing her arms away from him and shoving his hands down his front pants pockets.

Just then, a woman's voice came ringing through the marbled hallways on the other side of the door. "Michael? Michael?"

Michael just froze, "Tarin, wait here. I'll be right back."

Tarin was left alone with all her stupidity. _It was only then when she completely realized that this was totally a foolish thing to do._ Looking at herself in the mirror, she acknowledged, "What the hell are you doing Tarin? Did you really expect him to ride you off into the sunset?" She waited another second or two, and then opened up the door to leave this mess behind her.

When she arrived in the foyer, she spotted Michael alone and walked over towards him to say her goodbye, when a girl appeared out of nowhere and wrapped her arm around Michaels. Tarin didn't know what to think; she actually felt like an intruder, and began to get strange vibes from them both. Tarin gazed down at the girl's hands, as she gripped them around Michael's forearm. Instantaneously, Tarin noticed the huge diamond wedding ring she wore on that grip.

Tarin closed her eyes in disbelief. _He was married too?_

"Are you one of the girls Michael met while in Hawaii?" She asked, smiling sweetly.

The girl was gorgeous! She had very dark hair, with equally dark eyes and milky white skin, such a contrast, but her beauty was completely natural, and Tarin felt so over-whelmed at that moment, she felt put on the spot. "Yes, we met in Hawaii." Tarin, at this point, brought her eyes up to Michael's. But Michael simply had a stone face; he was just as chagrined as she was. "I'm Tarin, Tarin Howard-Picardo."

"So nice to meet you," she said with a sugary voice, "I'm Stella Capelli." She then let go of Michael's arm and extended out her hand for Tarin to shake. "Michael tells me you're a card shark? Here to hit Atlantic City?" She asked amiably, re-wrapping her hands back around his muscled arm.

Tarin felt nothing but shame. _This was a very, very bad idea!_ "Yes," she lied, feeling her heart beat escalating.

"Where are you staying? Do you have family in town?" Stella asked, still smiling at Tarin.

"No, I—" Tarin stopped and looked into Michael's eyes again as she tried to wiggle out of a drowning situation.

"Stella," Michael said, trying to come to Tarin's rescue. "Why don't you go back upstairs and finish packing?"

Stella nodded her head, "That's right, well, it was very nice to have met you, don't let me interrupt. Why don't you walk her to the door Mike?" She continued to state to him, then directly to Tarin, "We were about to leave."

Tarin watched her feet as she headed towards the front door not wanting to be excused, but just being plain pushed out! She turned around to face Michael with her _what's going on?_ face. "Michael?"

He simply stared back at her. He wanted to say something as well but didn't, with Stella right behind him making sure Tarin went away.

Tarin just stood there immobile. _Such pain! All this way, all this Goddamn way!_ _All the emotions she wanted to express—all the feelings she had to hold back! The fantasy of a reunion blown to smithereens!_ She tried to hold in the torment, but they swelled within her eyes. She turned away before he could see them drop however, and simply got out, "Good-bye Michael," and then flew down the steps.

# Chapter Eighteen

Michael waited a few seconds more before he leaned into Stella. "What the hell did you just do?"

Stella rolled her eyes, and blew on her newly polished fingernails, "Oh shut up Mikey, I did you favor."

"I wanted to talk to her."

"You said you wanted to get _rid_ of her. Well, now she's gone."

Michael continued to stare at the door and where Tarin once stood. "I didn't want it to end this way. I really liked her and I wanted to tell her in my own way, I've had so much on my mind lately. You know how it's been."

Stella continued to fan out her nails, "Oh, quit beating yourself up."

Michael stormed passed her and Stella followed swiftly behind. "This has never happened to you!" He yelled out in front of him, feeling her body quickly approaching.

"Tsk—tsk, two older women in one month, you're gonna get a reputation," she teased, blowing on her nails some more.

"Shut the hell up," Michael insisted, "just wait till you're in a jam."

Stella changed her tune. "I guess you're right, you're absolutely right. What are you gonna do now?"

Michael placed his hands on his hips. "I should have spoken with her; I wanted to explain that the best thing to do was to go our separate ways, for her to go back to her husband."

Stella agreed, "That would have been a good plan."

Michael gave his sister another dirty look, "That's what I was _going_ to do when _you_ interrupted!"

"Oh well, stop crying, all done now," Stella quipped insensitive again. "Hey, have you seen Dad's portfolio lately?" She asked, changing the subject. "His stock went through the roof!"

"I'm not interested," Michael maintained, "after yesterday, I don't think he's gonna be interested in me very much. He'll be avoiding me like the plague."

Stella waved the huge diamond in front of her face, admiring it once again.

"And put that ring back! Mom's gonna have a cow!" Michael yelled at her just before he walked away to go back up to his room. "Put it back in the safe before Dad finds out like the last time. Don't give him a reason to hate you too!"

# Chapter Nineteen

### Two Months Later

Inside the Picardo home, it was life as usual except for one thing...

While Russ was at work, Marisa had fallen asleep on a blanket on the floor. Tarin watched a pregnancy test as if it had legs. Actually in a corner of her bedroom, she sat cross-legged on the carpet waiting patiently for the results. _Could you believe it? Russ wasn't even upset with her when she came back home from New Jersey._ There were no questions asked, it was total trust.

There was a timer next to the small plastic container filled with liquid. Tarin jumped suddenly when she heard the time clock buzz. Waiting a second, she felt her heart palpitate and closed her eyes. It had been four weeks since her last period. She honestly thought it was Michael's rejection that caused her to miss her period, until she woke up a couple of weeks ago throwing her guts out. When the nausea lasted over two weeks, she started to get worried and had to know for sure.

Tarin stood up carefully, and opened up her eyes. There it was, the small plastic stick, relating her fortune. Tarin walked over to it and instantly noticed the two dark blue lines. _It was blue! It was a dark dark-blue. The pregnancy test screamed Goddamn blue!_

Half an hour later, Tarin was next to the washer machine curled up child-like on the floor. She was crying, and had been crying for the past hour and a half. She was so panicky and recalled just a few years ago when this news about a baby would have been the brightest, most outstanding news she could have ever received, but with this news of today, she felt numb, bewildered, uncertain, and scared... _very_ scared. Tarin sprung up from the floor and darted towards the den.

She made love to Russ just before she left for Hawaii, and terrifying enough, she had sex with Michael just a few days afterwards – it could be either man's baby! _And God help her, she couldn't figure out whose!_

Rummaging through her calendar on her desk, Tarin started to count the days from her last period. _One, two, three, four, five, six...it was fourteen days, no! Fifteen! No! Sixteen days since her last period! Oh God! No-no-no, it was fourteen days! Oh God! Tarin doesn't remember how many fricken days! This was gonna drive her crazy! Absolutely crazy! What was she going to do now?_ _OK Tarin_ , she thought, _Calm down now, calm the hell down! Everything's gonna be all right, everything's gonna be swell. Let's just remain calm_.

That night, Russ came in through the garage door and called out for Tarin. "Tarin?" He received no answer but heard Marisa crying on the floor alone. He walked over to pick her up in his arms. "What's the matter pumpkin, wha'cha doin' down here anyway? Where's mommy?" He then gave her a big smack on her cheek, and then another kiss on her forehead and after that, a big smooch on her tummy till she giggled. "Let's go see where mommy is." Russ cupped his daughter's little body into both arms and began searching the house for his wife.

Tarin was quickly trying to wash her face with some soap and water. She threw up again. She didn't know if it was because of the pregnancy, or just plain nerves.

"Tarin?"

She heard Russ calling out for her earlier, but didn't wish to answer him. She didn't want to be discovered just yet.

Russ reached the bathroom and heard the water flowing. "Tarin? Are you in there? Tarin?"

"Tar-n...Tar-n," Marisa spoke out, copying her father.

Tarin came out from behind the bathroom door, "Oh Russ, sorry, the water was running, I didn't hear you come in."

Russ looked at his wife. The red eyes and her red nose were a dead giveaway of her sorrow. "What's the matter?"

Tarin tried not to look at him. She felt so guilty at that moment she felt like running away. "Oh Russ, it's nothing. No big deal."

"Why the tears then, what's no big deal?" Russ asked, letting Marisa down to the floor.

Tarin instantly brought to mind all the other days she cried out for his attention. If blood shot eyes were all it took, Tarin would have started crying on a daily basis! "It's nothing Russ," she ended up saying, "I just got something caught in my eye, that's all. No big deal."

Russ just shook his head. She was still acting peculiar. He then began to take his pants off. "I fell off a beam today."

Tarin showed no emotion. "Oh yah, you OK?"

"No, no I'm not," Russ admitted, feeling the center of his back, "I fell about six feet...Face down."

Tarin now looked straight at him, "Oh my God. Are you OK?"

"No, I've got this big gash on the side of my left leg from hitting the beam on a slant on the way down. My foreman took me to the ER, but they said it would heal on its own. They put me on antibiotics though. Wanna see?"

Tarin gazed over at it but didn't actually focus on his leg, but rather Russ with his pants down. "Russ, you're an engineer, what the hell are you thinking doing a carpenters' job?" Tarin next took one look at the gash on Russ' leg, and instantly felt nauseated and dashed to the bathroom to barf in the toilet.

Russ sat down half-naked examining his wound. "Are you sick?" He asked, listening to her throwing up in the basin. "What's the matter? Do you have the flu or something?"

Tarin continued throwing up, this time in the sink, that's when Russ came into the bathroom and stood over her concerned.

Tarin tried to wave him away, "Go away Russ."

But he wouldn't budge, "What's the matter Tarin?"

Tarin heaved towards the amenity and Russ went over to her to rub her back. Tarin finally stopped and fell to the side of the toilet.

"Tarin, what's wrong? You're starting to scare me," Russ asked, brushing some hair away from her lovely face.

Tarin looked up at him; she could tell he wasn't going to go away. "Russ," Tarin swallowed, "I think I'm pregnant."

Russ' eyes bugged out and a huge smile appeared on his face. "No way, you serious? Oh my God Tarin, this is so great! I knew it! I knew it! The moment I saw you throwing up, I just knew it! When? How many months are you?"

Tarin grabbed the towel and began wiping her face with it. Russ was _too_ excited and Tarin was in terrible anguish. "I don't know. I haven't gone to the doctor yet. I need to make an appointment."

Russ grabbed Tarin's body into his. "Oh sweetheart, you've made me so happy. Marisa is going to have a little brother or sister; huh, Marisa?" He asked his daughter still down on the ground. Russ then watched Tarin gingerly walk around the bed to lie down. Russ went over to the other side, and sat on the edge of the bed to take the rest of his clothes off and toss them into the hamper. "You're throwing up now, so that means you're about six or seven weeks? I remember last time with Marisa; you threw up around six weeks. I wonder if that means it'll be another girl."

Tarin just shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe."

"It was before Hawaii, huh? That night before you left?" He asked happily.

And Tarin's heart dropped, it was pumping so hard, she swore he could see it through her shirt. "Yah right...I _think_ so." Tarin purposely pulled herself up from her lying position, and walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway so Russ could no longer see her. The moment she reached the corner however, the tears began to fall. Managing to walk down the staircase, her sobbing got even louder, and she had to cover her mouth over with her hands so that Russ couldn't hear her weeping. Within reaching the bottom of the stairs, Tarin began to bawl.

# Chapter Twenty

Two days later she went to the clinic to get a blood test done. Two days after that, the doctor called her in for an appointment. Tarin was in a hospital gown, and had just finished being examined by the doctor and was speed reading through a magazine, when the doctor finally popped back in through the door.

"Well, your results are in and it's just as you suspected Mrs. Picardo, you're seven weeks pregnant. Around two months. Let's see if we can hear the heartbeat. Lay down for me." The doctor then took out a Doppler from within his white doctor's coat, and placed it onto Tarin's lower abdomen. Almost instantly, she could hear the faint sound of a tiny heart beating.

A tear rolled down the edge of Tarin's eye. She was so happy to hear that sound. _Listen to that_ , she thought... _its life. It's life inside of me. Now how can that be so bad?_

Two months later, things began to get quite hectic in the Picardo household. Russ began taking out all the old baby furniture that they had stored in the attic that Marisa no longer used.

After watching him whistling, smiling, skipping and prancing around like a two-year-old, Tarin finally decided she was going to tell him the truth. Not to spite him, no, it was the guilt that was eating her up. She intended on never telling him about her infidelity until her death bed, but the truth inside her sometimes ached to get out. The seed growing inside her womb was a mystery, and Tarin needed to say _something_. Russ and her could always talk to each other as friends, _maybe he would understand. Maybe..._

Russ was applying a new coat of paint to the crib when she found him. Tarin continued to look at him through the doorway of the garage. Russ didn't see her immediately, and was giddily whistling away when Tarin walked over to his side and tapped him on his shoulder. Russ stopped his natural music and looked up at her. Tarin had been crying again. "What's the matter?"

"Russ, will you please come inside," Tarin asked gently, almost at a whisper.

"Can it wait? I've got to finish this before dark."

Tarin nodded her head, "No Russ, it can't. Please...please come inside."

Russ got up from his crotched position, and then followed Tarin to the living room but didn't sit down. "What? What's going on?"

Tarin sat on the opposite side of him and fluffed the couch pillows before covering her tummy with one of them. Russ studied Tarin's face. By her mannerisms and her disposition, he knew he was about to hear something awful.

Tarin swallowed hard, "I have something to tell you."

_It's about the baby,_ Russ thought immediately and his heart dropped. "What's the matter with the baby? Is she OK? Is she all right? Are _you_ OK? Are _you_ all right?"

Tarin's mind was spinning; circling in a wind of too many questions. "Russ, the baby's fine; she's healthy, but..."

Russ let go a sigh of relief and smiled, "Damn, you scared me for a moment."

"Russ," Tarin exhaled, "I slept with someone when I was in Hawaii."

Russ continued to smile by mistake, "What?" His smile then dropped to a scowl. "What? What do you mean you slept with someone?"

Tarin now burst into tears. _It was just a relief to let out the truth._ "I'm sorry Russ; I never meant to hurt you."

Russ began to walk in small circles in front of her and kept shaking his head in disbelief. "You mean...you're telling me...while you, Rae and Ceeci—in Hawaii?"

Tarin shook her head, yes.

Russ pounded his fist against a nearby wall unexpectedly. "You mean to tell me that you went off to Hawaii to meet some guy there?"

Tarin shut him off quickly; he was going into another direction. "No! No—no, Russ, I never intended on this to happen. It just _happened_."

Russ shook his head again. Bobbing it up and down, agreeing to whatever sound happened to come out of Tarin's mouth. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, I get it—I get it. That's where you went, that's your big secret. You thought that I thought you were at school that time you snuck off that morning, didn't you? But the fact was—you went off to _see him_ , didn't you? _Didn't you!_ You went off to _see him_! You've been playing me for a fool!" Russ then grabbed an antique porcelain figure and threw it against the wall, shattering it into dozens of tiny little pieces.

Tarin reached out for him to stop, "Russ—please calm down. There's something else."

Russ began walking away from her. "What else matters Tarin? You had an affair! You slept with some other man! You let some _jerk_ put his hands all over you, so what the fuck else matters?"

Tarin swallowed hard. Maybe he didn't need to know. Maybe the affair was all he needed to hear. "OK, OK, never mind then."

"No! You've got something else to say—then say it! Spill it! I'd love to hear what comes out of your mouth next! Looks like a day for the truth now doesn't it Mrs. Picardo?"

Tarin bent her head down in shame, his sarcasm felt like a knife being plunged into her back. "Yes—yes it does," she claimed, removing the pillow from her stomach and sinking further into the sofa. "I'm gonna move out, I don't belong here anymore. I don't think I can function in this house knowing that you know. I can't seem to look at you in the face. Just knowing that you know is going to be torture enough. I can't sit here and watch you be the victim."

"Oh, _I'm_ the victim," he bit out sarcastically, "Uh—huh...uh-huh, just listen to you _play_ that victim!"

"I'm the bad guy here, I think I should go."

Russ waved his arm towards the door, "So leave! Who's stopping you?"

Tarin burst into tears, "Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like this," she explained, waving her hands in the air.

"You no longer have the right to be concerned about me," Russ plainly said, looking down at the ground now.

"So, that's it? You're not even going to put up a fight? It's over?" She asked, not really knowing what to expect. "You're not gonna try and save this? You're just gonna let me go?"

"Yes, get out. You're the _tramp_ ; you're the _slut_ now—so get the hell out! I can't even stand to look at you now!"

Tarin was in absolute shock. "Russ? I've never seen you act this way before!"

And this was Tarin's dilemma. Deep down inside, Tarin felt everything would be all better once she cleared her problem off her chest. Russ, in the past, could never really be upset with her for too long. She counted on him being angry at first, but he always ended up forgiving her, and this was the reason why it was so unproblematic for her to confess the infidelity.

"How the hell am I supposed to act Tarin?! My wife just told me that she had an affair! My wife just told me that she wants to move out! My wife just told me that she and my baby are going to move out! I'm in Holy Hell!" He paused, to feel his throat close up, and then closed his eyes and began to tear up. "I'm in _fuckin_ _Hell!"_

Tarin grabbed her stomach; she couldn't stand watching him in so much torment with the pain she caused deliberately. "I'm gonna wake up Marisa and just go then."

But that got him to do an about-face. Russ opened his eyes up immediately, "What? Oh no you're not; you've got some nerve if you think you're gonna just walk right outta here and take my daughter away from me too!"

Tarin now clutched her stomach in instant agony. **_This_** was Tarin's _rightful_ punishment. **_This_** was Tarin's penance. She knew by telling Russ that she had an affair was turning out to be too easy. Her atonement for bedding another man was that she would have to leave her daughter? "You can't do this!" She cried out for leniency.

"Why not?" He callously let go. "You did this to _us_! You did this _to me_! Not Marisa! Why should Marisa have to suffer too? She did nothing wrong! You did! _So go!"_

"But Russ," Tarin pleaded with him, "I can't leave without my baby!"

Coldhearted, Russ stood in front of her seated position and pointed down at her. "You should have thought about that _before_ you allowed some asshole to put his hands all over you."

Tarin pulled her belly up from the sofa and headed towards Marisa's room on instinct. "Russ, please, I can't leave her," she moaned, scampering towards her daughter's room.

Russ tried to beat her to Marisa's door. "She'll be fine here," he ominously let out, blocking the entry so that Tarin couldn't go in.

"But Russ," Tarin sobbed, buckling to her knees.

Russ couldn't stand to watch his wife pleading for mercy and left her whimpering on the floor. "She'll be better than fine..."

# Chapter Twenty-One

Pulling herself up from the floor, Tarin ran to the master bedroom to pack a small bag in chaos. Moments later, she darted into Marisa's bedroom to find Russ hovering over his daughter like a protective bear.

Whispering in anger, he stated, "Don't get any crazy ideas Tarin. You're _not_ taking her."

Tarin was blubbering, "I just wanna hold her, I just wanna say good-bye."

Russ looked down at Marisa; poor little Marisa, not a care in her dream filled world. She had no idea what was about to happen to her family; and when Russ realized that all at once, he too began to cry, "OK, but I'm not leaving this room."

Tarin looked down at her daughter and felt nothing but heartache. _How was she ever gonna leave without her baby? She's been caring for her daughter since day one, and now she was forced to just pick up and leave her here? Expect her to just shut down that valve to her nurturing heart? Could she do that? Was she that strong? Does she even have a choice? Oh God, why did she do this?!_ "Oh baby...Sleep my baby girl, sleep," she continued to cry, caressing the sides of her face, and running her fingers through her soft blonde curls. "I love you My-My, I'll always love my baby girl." Tarin then stood up from the side of Marisa's bed and nearly ran into the wall trying to escape, but managed to dart out of her daughter's room, just before Russ grabbed Marisa out of her bed to embrace her.

Tarin and her eight month pregnant tummy moved fifteen minutes away across town. She wanted to be close to her daughter just in case of an emergency. It was better for Russ to keep Marisa at the moment; he was right about the fact that Tarin was the one who needed to leave, and not Marisa. Her daughter didn't need to be punished. In the past two months, Tarin learned what it was like to be in a desperate situation, to fend for herself, to feed only herself, and life as she once knew it, ended in heart-break. She thought at the time she was making the right choice by giving up her daughter, that everyone around her wouldn't be so angry, like some consolation prize. If she left Marisa with her father it was like making something right out of something incredibly wrong. But all-in-all, she ended up feeling dead inside. The humiliation was very unhealthy, and she was constantly unwell because of it. Even some of her family members, her mother in particular, turned against her.

And then there was _Michael_. Tarin still had feelings for Michael, and she didn't know how to get rid of them. He was still in her heart and it confused her how she could hold onto something that never really developed.

The phone rang, and Tarin walked over to answer it. "Hello?" But then the phone went dead. Someone on the other end hung up by the sheer sound of her voice. She subsequently pulled out a piece of paper from within her telephone book. It was a post-it note with Michael's phone number on it, and she contemplated on calling him. Tarin picked up the receiver and began punching in the phone number when her door bell rang.

Astonished—and expecting to see someone else—Tarin opened up the door to find Rae standing there alone in the hallway of her apartment building. "Rae, my goodness, what the heck are you doing here?"

Rae invited herself in, "Hell, I could ask you the same question."

Tarin closed the door behind her friend.

"I went over to your house, and Russ told me that you were staying here, at this lovely extended-stay hotel," she quipped, gazing around her. "What the hell is going on?"

Tarin walked over to her little kitchen area. Behind the open bar, Tarin grabbed an empty container to make some ice tea.

Rae sat herself down on the couch when Tarin came out from behind the counter, and Rae zoomed in on Tarin's inflated pregnant stomach and nearly expired. "Are you shitting me? Is this for real? Oh my God! I didn't even notice when you answered the door!"

Tarin held out her arms wide enough for Rae to inspect her physique. "Hard to believe, huh?"

"Oh my God," was all Rae could muster up, "Oh my God."

"I'm eight months now."

"Wow, blew me away!

Tarin walked away from Rae, and around the counter again to begin mixing the powdered tea tea mix into some iced cold water. "So, how've you been? How's school? God, I haven't seen you in ages! Want something to drink? I'm making some ice tea, want some?"

Rae just stared at her. Not really knowing how she should tell her something important; the real reason why she tried to find her in the first place. "That would be great, thanks."

Tarin poured her friend a drink, and walked back over to the couch to hand Rae hers. "So, tell me, how's school?"

Calm and soft spoken, Rae relayed, "Great, five more credits away from my B.A.," she stated, taking a sip of her iced tea. "How've you been?"

Tarin sat down on the same couch but on the other side, "Oh Rae, where do I begin?"

Rae placed down her drink on top of the coffee table in front of her. "Oh Tarin, don't tell me you guys are getting a divorce!"

"Honestly Rae, I don't know what's going to happen. Everything's so messed up."

"Tarin," Rae confessed, "I know about your affair with Michael."

Tarin closed her mouth, she was taken back. "You knew? Did he tell you?"

"No, I saw you."

Tarin's heart sunk, "You _saw_ us?" Tarin then got up from her seated position; her heart began to thump harder. "What do you mean you saw us?"

"I first spotted you up on the balcony kissing in the reflection of the window, and then I saw Michael close the door behind you two. I recall not seeing you until about two hours later."

Tarin ran her fingers through her hair, "I had no idea."

"This is why you split from Russ, isn't it?" Rae asked, honestly.

Tarin doesn't face her but rather walked away, "Yes, yes it is."

"I can't believe it! I can't believe that bastard left you in your condition!"

Tarin turned quickly around, "He didn't leave me, I left him."

Rae began to smile, "Oh no, you didn't!"

Tarin doesn't think it was funny. "Rae—"

Rae halted there and took her response to heart, and wondered how she was going to start up on a different, more damaging subject. "Joey called me up yesterday," she ended up blurting out.

"Joey? Joey— _Arcos_ —Joey?" Tarin asked, a little shocked. She hadn't heard that name in such a long time.

"Yah, that Joey."

"And what does _that_ Joey have to say?"

Rae looked down at the ground, "Joey said that there was some old baggage between him and Michael? And that he had no other choice but to turn Michael into the Dean at Princeton. I guess Michael had an affair with one of his professors," Rae stated carefully, lowering her eyes even more.

Tarin sprung to Michael's defense, "Oh my God, I knew about that!"

"You knew about him being expelled?"

"Michael got expelled?"

" _No_ , I mean, yes," Rae ended up saying, trying to find a good way to tell her.

"I knew about Joey knowing. I should have done something. I could have talked to Joey," Tarin relayed, trying to help in some small way.

Rae continued, "His sister told Joey that you went to see him? Joey said to tell you that it was all a mistake. That the girl you saw, the girl you met at Michael's house, was really his sister. I hope you know what that means."

A gleam of hope rose from within Tarin's misery. _For the first time in a long time, she had expectations._ "His sister...you mean he's not married?"

Rae bit down on her lower lip. "Tarin, something happened to Michael."

And just like that, Tarin's anticipation suddenly blew to Kingdom Come. _What happened to Michael?_ "What? What happened?"

Rae then gazed wistfully down at her shoes, "There was an accident."

Tarin covered her mouth temporarily in disbelief, "What kind of accident?"

Rae watched her friend hobble over to the chair across from her clutching her stomach to sit down. "Michael and his sister, Stella were on their way home from the Dean's office, the day that Michael got expelled, and Stella wasn't paying any attention to the road, and made a wrong turn onto the expressway."

Tarin heard what she said, but she didn't want to believe it...Good Heavens, she didn't want to hear what came next. _What happened to Michael?_ "And..."

"And...they both perished in the accident Tarin, it was a head-on collision, and Michael was thrown fifty feet from the convertible...Stella was killed on impact."

Tarin began to tremble, until she suddenly released her panic, "Ooooh God Rae!" She yelled out hysterically. "Oh God no! Oh no!" Tarin then suddenly grabbed her stomach; she was beginning to feel unprompted contractions.

Rae immediately noticed her plight, "Oh Tarin, I'm so sorry, I really didn't know how to tell you. I never knew how much he really meant to you."

"Oh my God Rae," Tarin yelled out again, grabbing at her stomach, the pain was getting even stronger. Until at that very moment, the spasms were so severe, she fell to her knees and collapsed.

"Tarin!"

# Chapter Twenty-Two

Tarin was in the maternity ward at the hospital. Lying down in a hospital bed, she was breathing heavily with sweat rolling down the sides of her face. Rae was by her side and was helping Tarin breathe through some of her more intense contractions.

"I called Russ, he's on his way," Rae whispered to Tarin, wiping down her face and forehead. "I hope you don't mind."

Tarin wiped away her tears, "Thank you Rae."

"You OK now Tarin, I mean about Michael? I'm sorry, maybe I should have never told you."

"I was in love with him Rae, and I don't know what to feel. All I can think about right now is having this—" she barely got out, experiencing a strong contraction, "Baayyyy-beee! Ooooh gaaaawwddd!"

An elderly nurse came rushing in immediately within hearing the mother's cries, and pulled up Tarin's gown to check on her between her legs to see how far she was dilated. "Almost there," she pronounced, "it won't be long now. Hold on honey! Don't push, whatever you do, don't push! I'll go get the doctor."

"I'm only eight months!" Tarin divulged, frightened. "Will the baby be all right if I deliver now?"

"Sure honey, let me go and get the doctor," she declared, exiting the labor room.

Rae went to rub Tarin's toe. "Is there something I should do? Rub your back or something? Ask the nurse for some morphine?"

Tarin closed her eyes, she doesn't feel right. The baby just doesn't feel right. "Something's wrong!" She suddenly screamed out, "I can feel it! Something's terribly wrong!" Tarin began pressing the emergency button to call the nurse back, and two seconds later, the nurse walked in unhurried.

"What's wrong honey?" She asked, checking on Tarin's fluids.

"Something's wrong!" Tarin exclaimed, panicky. "The baby—something's wrong!"

In a calm manner, the nurse came around again to check Tarin between her legs. Alarmed and startled, the nurse sees a tiny foot coming out of her vagina. "Call a doctor!" She yelled out off the top of her lungs, and mainly out the open corridor, "Call a doctor, _stat!_ "

Within hearing the commotion from the inside, other visitors and hospital staff began to gather just outside Tarin's door. They were all curious to find out what all the commotion was. A few more nurses entered the room, until the small space was now an adequate medical crowd. Rae was now being shoved aside, until she found herself huddled in a tiny little corner of the hospital room.

Tarin was beside herself, "What's wrong? What's the matter?"

Rae just froze. She didn't know what else to do until she eyed Russ hovering about in the corner of her eye. "Russ! Over here! Russ!"

Russ doesn't see Rae, but he notices his wife. "Tarin! What's the matter? What's going on here?"

A nurse held him back, "You're going to have to wait in the waiting room sir."

"But that's my wife!" Russ yelled at the nurse and at anyone else who would listen. "I'm her husband, I'm the father!"

The elderly nurse witnessed his fright, and immediately walked over to him, "Sir, please wait outside so we could get you dressed for the operating room."

"What's going on here?" Russ asked, out of his mind already. "What happened? What operating room?"

That's when the doctor finally showed up and seemed unaffected by the whole ordeal. "Let's get back to work now shall we," he conveyed to everyone who had just been standing around there gawking. When the room had emptied, the doctor strolled over to Tarin, and examined her himself. "Yes...OK, we have a complication," the doctor said unmistakably.

That's all Russ needed to hear. He then closed his eyes and walked over to Tarin's side.

"Here are your options," the doctor stated to the two worried parents, "I could either reach in and try and turn the baby inside the womb, or perform an emergency C-Section."

Tarin and Russ immediately clasped their hands. Russ took one look at his wife. "C-Section," Russ broadcasted, and then spoke to the nurse waiting at the doorway, "Where do I change?"

The following morning in the recovery room, a brilliant beam of light lit up the entire area, making the white hospital room turn a lovely shade of lemon-yellow.

It was a new sunny day and a new beginning. Russ was overwhelmed, but calm—very calm. He had been holding the infant in his arms for nearly an hour while Tarin had still been asleep. The baby was indeed breech, and they had to perform an emergency C-Section.

Russ gazed down at the infant again; it was a boy, a beautiful six pound, two ounce baby boy and Russ had been admiring the majestic sight of him and all his glory.

Whispering to the infant, he voiced, "We were all wondering when you'd come out to see us. Everyone's been anxious to meet you. Your big sister is so excited to see you." Russ then brought the infant up to his shoulder and brought him in closer to his body. "I think we're gonna call you Justin. Justin Jacob Picardo. Jacob was my grandpa's name, and you will be named after him."

At that moment, Tarin began to open her eyes. She was weak, but she still managed a smile. "The baby...oh Russ, the baby...is it OK?"

Russ walked over to her bedside. "Yes, the baby's just fine."

Tarin thanked God. "What is it? A boy or a girl?"

"It's a boy Tarin, and he's beautiful, you did a good job sweetheart. Real good."

Tarin started to tear up; he called her _sweetheart_ , "Russ, there's something I think you should know."

"I'd like to name him Justin, is that OK with you? Justin Jacob, you know after grandpa? Grandma will be so surprised and appreciative, after grandpa passed away from cancer last year."

Tarin smiled; but not too warmly. Just the mention of death brought Michael to her mind. "Russ, I need to tell you something."

Russ sat down on the corner of Tarin's bed, and gently handed his wife the baby. "Isn't that how we ended the last time?"

Tarin looked deep into his brown eyes, "But Russ, no more lies."

"He's my son Tarin," Russ hauntingly let go.

Tarin just stared at her husband, and a single—but very powerful tear—dropped down the side of her cheek. "What do you mean?"

"I'll raise him as my son."

Russ after that, handed Tarin the baby and Tarin took him into her arms. Gently opening up the blanket to see more of his face, Tarin knew exactly what her husband was trying to say. It didn't matter anymore. Everything that she did, the vow that was broken, it didn't seem to be all that important. Russ _forgave_ her; forgave her for everything. All that mattered was family, and the tiny little hope that she had been cradling. Her new baby boy, he was so beautiful, so wonderfully amazing; he brought her family back together.

Her life back together.

Her life back.

# Chapter Twenty-Three

### One Year Later

Outside in the backyard of the Picardo home, Justin was having his very first birthday party. He was one-year-old today and to help him celebrate, mommy and daddy made sure that it was a most joyous occasion. There were clowns everywhere and colorful balloons with streamers set up all around the backyard.

Rae arrived late as usual, and sat alone eyeing all the guests walking in through the backyard gate. Looking for a familiar face, her eyes smiled when Eddie and Ceeci came in through the entry. Eddie had his arm completely around his wife's shoulder, escorting her into the party. Ceeci was pregnant with their first child, and Rae couldn't help but gawk at her pregnant belly. "You've got to be kidding me!" She exhaled, touching her stomach, "Oh my God! First Tarin, now you?" Rae then turned to Eddie, "Hey Eddie, give me a kiss, haven't seen you two in _ages_!"

Ceeci gave Rae a huge hug, "I know—I know. Eddie and I don't get out this way much after transferring to San Diego State."

"Oh my God, I'm so excited for you Ceeci. I mean, I heard that you two got married but I never imagined this," Rae gushed, continuing to touch Ceeci's tummy.

"Neither did we actually," Eddie chimed in. "Ceeci's going to take a year off from school, then go back when the baby is a little bit older."

Ceeci gave her husband a loving smile then touched his chin. "Rae, you can't imagine how happy I am right now. This baby is the best thing that could have happened to us; the best thing." Then she turned to actually look at Rae, "How's Tarin doing?"

Rae scanned the grassy area, "Oh, OK, I guess; I've haven't been around as much since the baby was born. I've been mainly doing my own thing...but I heard they've celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary last month."

Ceeci raised her eyebrows, "Is that so? I'm so glad for her, really I am. She's been through so much."

Rae agreed and just nodded her head, and pin-pointed Tarin across the span.

"Hey, did we tell you what happened to Joey?" Eddie spoke up all of a sudden.

Rae's eyes grew wide, "No, tell me, _tell me!"_

"Well, after Joey dropped outta school, he found a job at this ad agency. It's a great job you know, Joey's style got him through the door," Eddie relayed, grabbing Ceeci's hand. "Well, his new boss, Sylvia Stephens, you know, the one that was interviewed on GMA last month? Well, she started hitting on Joey, and well, Stella Stephens doesn't like to take _no_ for an answer. Joey called me up all frustrated and crap, and he doesn't know what hit him! Sylvia Stephens turns out to be one of those _cougars_ and you know Joey, he doesn't like to be _chased_ ; he likes to be the one who _chases_."

Rae started to laugh, "Serves him right."

Ceeci laughed too, "I know, when Eddie told me I almost died laughing, it's so funny; so ironic, so true to life."

Rae kept looking over at Tarin now with Russ. For some unknown reason, she was so jealous of her on this day. They had overcome so much in their marriage, so many obstacles. Rae observed the couple as Russ gave Tarin a little peck on her cheek. Tarin then turned in towards her husband, and grabbed his body close to hers and hugged him tightly.

Justin, the birthday boy had been sitting in his highchair squishing cake between his fingers, when he brought his hand up to scratch his head, and unknowingly wiped some whipped cream onto his face. Most of the guests began to laugh which brought total attention to the birthday boy's way.

Tarin walked over to her son, and removed the clown hat that had been on his head and allowed a better view for all the cameras that clicked away. Justin looked up at everyone trying to take his picture. Hamming for the camera, Justin smiled the best he knew how, with a big huge grin with a few missing teeth.

Rae reached inside her purse for her cell phone, and after that tried to take a picture of Justin along with several of the other guests.

With her cell phone held out in front of her, Rae viewed Justin's mug before she took his picture. Focusing solely on the whipped cream smeared all over his face, Rae adjusted the image in her lens, but the photograph instantly troubled her. Little Justin Picardo had jet-black hair, and the most alluring blue eyes Rae had ever seen. Rae lowered her cell phone, but remained staring at Justin. She just couldn't keep her eyes off the little boy! Instantly she knew the truth, and wondered if anyone else knew as well. She turned to look at Tarin again, but Tarin was too busy talking to some other guests now. Rae afterward walked over to a different side of the yard, but a little bit closer to Justin.

Justin noticed Rae's approach and grinned automatically for her and her phone. "Cheeeezzzzz," he let go, smiling graciously.

"Look this way Justin. Let me take a picture of you!" Rae asked of him, bringing her phone back up to view his expression in her lens again. "Look at those pretty blue eyes of yours! Let me see that cute little grin!"

Having no clue, Justin instantly smiled at the strange lady. But Rae was in awe, in total amazement and tried to flag down Ceeci, but Ceeci and Eddie were speaking to another couple who were also pregnant at the buffet of food.

Rae couldn't believe it, she had to tell _someone_ and spoke out tenderly, "Justin looks so much like you..." She then looked around for Tarin, but Tarin was now with Ceeci and Eddie and the other pregnant couple. Rae just ended up smiling; it was all she could do, until she swelled up with tears. Under her breath, she expressed, " _Oh Michael_ , if you could see your child, he's a gorgeous little boy," she cried, swelling up with emotion, "But I guess you could see him...couldn't you?"

# Acknowledgements

Thank you reading _So Much To Lose,_ a Free Novella written by Trisha Fuentes.

* * *

For a complete book list by Author, Trisha Fuentes please visit her website at

trishafuentes.com

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If you enjoyed this free ebook, please leave a positive book review :)

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# About the Author

Hey, it's Trish...

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I've always loved romance, I am a romantic at heart and writing Happily Ever After makes me smile. I wrote a few books back in 2008, then stopped completely because of writer's block ( _yep, it does happen!_ ) I've tried my hand at Contemporary Modern Romance, and published a few Novellas in that Genre, however, Historical Romance, especially _Regency_ , is my passion and what I am most comfortable writing. Expect to see dozens--no _hundreds!_ \--of more Regency Novellas published by Ardent Artist Books (my parent company).

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Rejoice Romance Reader!

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# Also by Trisha Fuentes

Unsuitable Obsession - Part One

Broken Obsession - Part Two

The Anzan Heir

A Sacrifice Play

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A Matchless Match

Arrogance & Conceit

Impropriety

Magnet & Steele

Swept Away

Fire & Rescue

The Domain King

Faded Dreams

The Steward's Daughter

The Cook's Daughter

The Curator's Daughter

One Starry Night

The Relentless Rogue

In The Moonlight With You

& many more!

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trishafuentes.com

