Go to skim dot com slash
[laughter]
You can't do that...
You can't do that!
Alright, Im sorry
Now everyone's all messed up! You haven't even started it properly
[dink dink song intro]
-A big pot
-Mmmm, fun
One cup of short grain rice
-White rice preferably
-That's your own
judgment being inserted into this recipe [laughter]
Damn it, you know me too well
It actually says white rice so Im just gonna
-Vegetable stock but you can also use chicken stock
-Mmmm
or no stock if you if you prefer it more bland
-And the last recipe or the last ingredient. You ready? 
-Yeah
Water
[laughter]
[wheeze]
It's water
-You are making rice
-No
You are just making rice
No, Im not IM NOT
You are putting it in a rice cooker
Not making rice
I'm not making rice
You are just making rice
That's okay so that's like the base version of this
They also add about- like things to make it more tasty, but you don't have to add them
[laughter]
I'm gonna give you a couple of suggestions of ingredients and spice it up. Okay, scallions, grated ginger, salt or soy sauce
not both. White pepper, black pepper works fine, I don't know why they wrote white. Chili oil
or vegetables
Rice...you are making rice
-Im not making rice
-You are making rice with any of those things in it
[wheeze] No im not making rice with something, Im making a-
-recipe
-Stock- stock, rice and water
and a pot.
You're making rice!
[wheeze laughter]
No, Im not! Think about the ratio here, okay
-One and a half- One and a half cups of rice
-Okay
Oh, it doesn't say how much water it just says-
water
-[loud laughter]
Literally just say water
[quiet laughs]
You are making water
-Are you ready
-You are making vegetable stock
-No. You wanna hear what Im making?
-What?
Gruel
[extreme wheezing]
[off mic laugh]
[off mic scream laugh]
[off mic] Julien!
[off mic] Julien!
I want you to get out!
I want you to get out! Just go!
Im like- Im crying
[inaudible]
What did I say
Stop, I can't see anymore Julien
I literally can't see cause I'm crying and if I take my glasses off
I can't see because I need my glasses to see
You're telling me that the first person that made gruel
Like they fucked up and they were like "okay, I was making rice"
But now, I guess I'll eat it
But it put too much water and let it cook for too long
Or- or just they were trying to make rice and then they forgot that they had to go on vacation for three days
And then they came back and it was gruel
What about what about when people are like
"Here's your change". And they give you the receipt and then they just drop all the change on top of it?
-So you're just like "now I hate everything in my hand".
-I literally like don't use cash for anything
I haven't had that happen to me in like seven years.
[stuttering] I use cash
I don't like to be traced
[laughter]
All right, don't even get me started on how dr. Phil is allowed to be that sexy.
Oooooh
[dr phil intro by jenna]
Where do I start with this? He's got a big-
-Go on
-He's got a big chunk-
Trunk full of a lot of junk
-Ooh
-He's wearing that dashing suit every day.
-Ooooh
-His feet are like size 20
Oooooooh
His head is as shiny as the top of the Chrysler Building
Wow
_That was an Annie reference.
-Oh
-Okay
-Right.
-I don't know
-It was
Umm...[wheeze]
He sits on that high as fuck chair looking down on me dad
He's fixing people's lives for no financial gain only because of the good of his heart
-[loud laugh]
-He wears rings the size of my car on his thick sausage
fingers. His moustache just will not quit
Oooh!
-I don't think he should be allowed to be that sexy.
-Yeah. He married,
but how married is he?
How is that allowed?
Go off sis
How is that allowed? Oh, and I'm supposed to keep my hands to myself
-Oh what! He's looking so sexy.
-My god!
-Okay, so here we go
-No no no
-No flippin, have you read that?
-No
Then you can't just like flip it open. You have to read it and show it to
YOU SPELLED YOUR OWN NAME-
[wheeze]
[scream laugh]
You spelled your own name wrong!
-Give me a break. I was learning!
-Julien!
-Give me a break
-Wait, but like- no no no
That's like- you can write though. You just you spelled your own name wrong.
Okay, you know, just let me get to it
It's called "The Daily News by Julian"
Spelled with an A. And...
-1998
-Yeah, 1998. I was six. Give me a break, fuck!
[laughter]
The other day
I was trying to convince Julien to listen to some Riverdance music cause he's never seen Riverdance
-Riverdance was the shit.
-I don't blame you.
-It was so fucking good and electric and magic.
-It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool
It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool
-You've never even seen it.
-No, I said the music you showed me was pretty cool.
Yeah, but have you seen Riverdance?
No, I still- since the last day you asked me which was less than a week ago, I still have not watched it
This is fucking Riverdance
bitch, is fucking wild
When you're sitting in there and you hear all the Irish music and the Irish fucking dancing and their shoes
are slapping on the ground. It's fucking crazy
-Okay.
-It sounds sick!
-Look at them.
-No, I see it
It's pretty dope
[Riverdance music starts playing]
There's like seventy people dancing right now
Okay, I got both mics
Look at how wild that is!
It's pretty cool...
Damn
They are just...fucking nasty
Oooooh!
Like imagine being eight and being this audience going
HOLY SHEEEEET!
-That was me!
-Okay
[nervous laugh] That's dope!
-We didn't have the Internet!
-We're gonna get copyright-
-We had Riverdance,
-Oh my god this is so loud
and we could buy this CD on the way out
So we can listen to it again
You need to stop yelling
You'd read a review in the paper
if it was good or not
and you are like "I think it is!
We should fucking go!"
And then you go and you see this shit!
Julien: Oh god....help me...help me
[Jenna still talking about Riverdance]
-It was amazing!
-I don't know whats happening
It blew my fucking tiny mind!
[soft laughter]
[Riverdance music stops]
I feel like I have a tiny mind after that
Did I make the neighbors dog bark?
-You screamed so loud!
-I'm sorry
It's okay, I can't hear anything you say now, but it's okay
[laughter]
So we it's a show, it's a live show and they're still out there performing?
-Still to this day...
-Let's go find one!
-Find right one right now!
-Legend has it they never stopped!
[laughter]
It just says "intermission" they keep dancing and everyone is leaving for a drink of water
[more laughs]
Not to be rude or anything, but I have to pee and he's like "that's fine,
I'll see you in a little bit"
Those guys are relentless
Absolute- absolute mad lads out there
VIP experience
I wonder what that means. You get to dance alongside them
from stage left behind the curtain.
A VIP experience, you just get to go backstage before the show
and they kick you in the face
[laughter] -Oh my god
-And you are like "oh my god, thank you
-Julieeen!
-oh my god I love this VIP experience
So glad I payed for it
But yeah
I'm gonna fucking- I'm gonna watch some alone before I fall asleep
because you knocked out the second your head hit the pillow because you
-have a gift from God, that you can just do that
-Is it a gift?
Yeah it is!
-I think it's a curse
-A lot of people have a really hard time falling asleep.
I think it's it's a blessing and a curse
Because I'm not that we- like I'm so comfortable
In our bed with you, no, I'm serious like in my situation.
-We don't sleep together we're just friends
-Okay
I'm kidding
Okay, in my cot off to the side of your bed.
-[laughs]
-I feel very comfortable.
I have a question. What's your favorite vine?
-I don't really- I didn't really watch vines
-Yeah, so what's your favorite one?
Debbie: [laughs]
Jenna: What's you favourite vine?!
The first one
Jenna: No no no no
Julien: Gives us an impression
Jenna: Any vine
Julien: of your favourite vine, any of 'em
Any vine
Debbie: [throat noises]
Julien: She's sticking her tongue out
Julien: Should we cut?
Jenna: I swear to God
What the fuck are you doing?
Jenna: Okay, you know what? You need to write me an apology
Julien: She's malfuctioning
Jenna: note for this right now, that's disrespectful
Julien: She's malfuctioning
Julien: We asked her a question and she didn't know the answer
Jenna: He asked you a question!
to so she just malfuctioned
I said, I didn't know and you just kept pushing so I'm just gonna do what I feel like
Debbie: [more noises]
Julien: Thank you for listening to the podcast
Debbie: Thank youuuuuu
Julien: Thank You Debbie
Debbie: There's two of you still left listening, thank you
Thank you for being- for gracing us with your presence today.
Debbie: I love you guys.
Jenna: Love you
Thank you for all your support
everyone out there and here and
Gosh
Debbie: The dink fam is just wonderful. They're so wonderful.
Jenna: They are
They are so funny
Debbie: They are so funny.
Julien: Way funnier than us
Jenna: Hell yeah!
Way funnier than us. Well than me, I should say
Julien: No, us. All of us, all three of us
Debbie: So clever. So interesting, so fun
Hug yourself right now!
You guys have a wonderful week. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching.
We'll be back and I will see in the next one
[all three] Bye!
[dink song plays]
