[Channel Teaser]
Today’s video is sponsored by Audible!
New year.
New campaign.
New reference material.
My players are interested in playing a dreaded
“evil campaign”.
So I looked for inspiration from one of the
most famous villains in DND.
Strahd
You can get “I, Strahd: The Memoirs of a
Vampire” for free with a 30-day Audible
trial.
Choose 1 audiobook and 2 Audible Originals
absolutely free.
Visit audible dot com slash allthingsdnd or
text allthingsdnd to five hundred five hundred.
And now, what you’re here for!
How Oohgie The Childish And Hardworking Ogre
Made Everyone Cry
Let me regale you with the tale of my parties
beloved Oohgie, a Honorary Dwarf.
Our party consisted of good friends that had
known each other: a reformed That Guy, and
Lucas the veteran.
We had a pretty decent group -- consisting
of a Dwarf Warrior, Human Paladin, Human Warlock,
Tiefling Rogue, me playing a Half-Elf Ranger,
and a Human Mage.
We were in the relatively early stages of
an epic campaign, and had been greeted by
a sudden surge of slightly stronger enemies.
What made these enemies slightly sturdier?
Well, according to our DM, they had been gifted
with heavy armor that could only be described
as 'slap-dash metal riveted together by clumsy
hands'.
This led us to a few leads in town that culminated
in the hearing of an Ogre that had taken up
residence in an abandoned forge and began
crafting rudimentary armor and weapons for
the local minions, and of course this led
to our first quest: Kill the Ogre, stop the
attacks.
After what felt like an hour of minion stomping
and quest cruisin', we found the forge, and
killed a few of the outlying minions to prevent
an unwelcome intrusion with the upcoming boss
fight.
We prepared ourselves.
Without a cleric, we had to be especially
careful with potion rations, which added some
fun to the game.
We had the Tiefling sneak in and make sure
we could sneak up without any trouble, or
annoying traps going off.
She gave us the all clear, and we shuffled
inside, praying our sneak checks held up.
Inside the large forge, we followed the sound
of clanging metal and deep grunts.
Lucas took the lead, preparing to call in
a few favors from Bahamut, with Raj the Dwarf
following closely behind him.
When we turned the corner, the DM informed
us that we saw the large shape moving around
the anvil and smelter, which we all knew meant
the Ogre.
I asked to roll for initiative, to sneak in
a shot and perhaps swing the battle to our
favor, but Lucas had another plan.
Lucas rolls for a diplomacy check, and takes
the lead by speaking with the Ogre.
“Why are you making armor for evil?”
Lucas asked.
The Ogre stopped and turned around in surprise.
The DM apparently was surprised that we did
not flat out attack, and he asked us for a
moment to pen something down.
After his pen stopped, he cleared his throat.
“Make armor here.
Ogres no like make armor, so make armor for
gob-gobs.
They like.”
The Ogre then went on to tell us about how
he discovered a book about crafting, and decided
to try making some himself.
Judging from the simplicity of the story,
our DM had not expected us to be diplomatic
and just threw together something to explain
why an Ogre would want to spend his time with
a hammer and anvil instead of hunting adventurers
and eating goats.
As the story dragged on, and we learned that
the Ogre had been kicked out for finding a
book from another culture, we slowly kinda
silently agreed to avoid killing him, since
the image of this 9 foot tall Ogre tinkering
away at an anvil to make small-medium sized
armor was too funny to pass up.
When the Ogre got to the part where he revealed
he could not read the book which was a Dwarven
guide apparently, and was just following the
pictures, Lucas decided to chime in.
“Why don't you come with us?
We have a Dwarf who can translate the book
for you, and you can learn to make better
armor.”
The DM looked a little confused, but decided
that the Ogre would be allowed to be a friendly
NPC in the party if we all allowed it.
And thus we were joined by Oohgie the Crafting
Ogre.
First thing we did once we went into town
was calm the mob that had appeared and attempted
to kill Oohgie.
Five diplomacy checks, a bluff check, and
almost a third of my gold later, the town
relents and lets him stay with us for the
night.
Oohgie was really excited by this prospect
and asked if he could visit the blacksmith
Lucas had to explain that was probably not
a good idea.
Since there was not a room in town big enough
to hold him, we told Oohgie to sleep in the
stables.
“Oohgie understand.
Oohgie try not make hummies mad.”
That night, before ending the session, we
joked about how silly this all was, taking
in an Ogre that did not want to fight.
We told some jokes, made a few jabs at how
we thought the Ogre was going to bite the
dust, and called it a session.
Next session, we woke up, paid for food until
the next town, and left the inn, picking up
Oohgie from the stables on the way out.
During the journey, Oohgie kept bothering
Raj, the Dwarf, and asking about 'Crafty-Smiths'
and 'Clang-clang tools'.
Now, Raj is my Dude-bro I have known for years,
and even though this is obviously bothering
him answering every question, he at least
tries to be nice to the insistent pestering.
In hindsight, this was probably our DM's attempt
to leave Oohgie behind so he could get back
to the campaign, but we managed to persist
and kept him with us to the next town.
This time, we decided that we cannot afford
to argue Oohgie into town or spend half our
income.
Being a ranger, I offer to set up a camp just
outside the town's borders so that we can
keep Oohgie and hunt some pelts for extra
income.
Raj offers to stay in camp with Oohgie and
I.
As for Lucas, he started heading into town
for the temple.
Finally, the rogue, the wizard and the warlock
will search for quests.
As we set up the tents, I ask if it is possible
to use Oohgie as a deterrent against monsters
in the local area.
The DM allows a roll, and with a 17, says
that Oohgie's natural 'musk' alerts the other
monsters in the area to stay away.
Raj stayed behind as I pick off some local
wildlife for our dinner.
While I hunted, Oohgie asked Raj more questions
about the book.
“How Oohgie make?”
“You can't.
That needs a bar of iron and a forge.”
Raj answered.
“Oohgie make forge?”
“I, uh, don't think there is enough materials
around here to do that.”
Raj explained as if talking to a child.
The Wizard returned to our camp, letting the
Rogue and Warlock threaten a local mayor for
a better reward.
The Wizard proposed he make a temporary forge
for Oohgie using some spells and his fire
magic.
As for iron, the group has a bag of holding
full of old weapons we had earned from defeating
a minor demon.
Oohgie, who was ecstatic at the idea, asked
if he could make armor for his 'Dwarfy friend
who read Oohgie book'.
Not seeing the harm in such an idea, we agreed
and Oohgie set to work.
In the morning, when we had awoken, Lucas,
the Rogue, and the Warlock had also returned
to camp.
After we explained the plan for the newest
quest, we gathered up our things and decided
to wake Oohgie up.
Turns out the poor bastard had spent half
the night banging away at the old pile of
scrap and made a chest-piece, aptly titled
by the DM as 'Oohgies Chess Peace o' Protect',
which was described as a hodge-podge of metal
sheets roughly slapped together.
Raj, being such a Dude-bro, offered to wear
it despite it having one less protection point
against slash.
As the DM described Oohgie's dumb smiling
face, I felt a pang of guilt for making fun
of him.
Many quests continued on with Oohgie the Crafting
Ogre, who had the neat ability to craft a
piece of armor or weapon every 1d4 nights,
and the DM would use 2d20's to determine the
item he crafted.
About two months of in game time passed, and
Oohgie had made us some slightly less than
useful items, with no sign of improving.
Sometimes we would sell the things he made;
other times we wore them for Oohgie, just
to make him happy.
By the fifth quest, I had an 'Oohgie's Wristy
Gerd Gloves'.
When we finally located one of the main storyline
quests, we also happened to pass by a temple
of Moradin, which had two dozen forges surrounding
it for his followers to craft weapons for
Paladins.
It was like trying to hold a 9 foot tall child
back from a toy-store.
“Oohgie see Crafty-Smiths!
Maybe one teach Oohgie make better armor!”
“Best not rush them, Oohgie,” Raj said,
rolling for a diplomacy check to calm Oohgie
down.
“But Oohgie want make better armor for friends.”
That hit us hard, and Lucas, being the de
facto head, took the lead.
“Oohgie, you can't enter the forges.
They are only for Moradin's craftsmen.”
Lucas explained.
“What mean?”
“Only Dwarves are allowed in.”
Oohgie seemed a little confused, before whimpering
like a hurt animal.
We decided to drag him back to a tent outside
town and let him calm down there, but not
before he made a decision looking at those
forges.
The next few sessions were filled with a mix
of heartache and heartwarming.
Oohgie tried extra hard to make better armor,
and Raj now found a full time hobby, teaching
Oohgie to read Dwarvish script.
Every now and again, Oohgie's efforts paid
off, and his armor would be as good if not
slightly above what we were wearing, but it
still was terribly built and barely held together.
Just a result of something so big not having
the dexterity to make the fine tuning of professionally
crafted armor.
Every now and then, Oohgie would ask the group,
specifically Raj, how he was doing.
“Oohgie Dwarf now?”
“Not yet, I don't think.
Maybe if you try harder,” Raj said.
“Oohgie can do.”
Oohgie seemed to become more determined every
day, clanging away at his magic forge, combining
what little scrap we found for him to throw
together.
He also began asking Lucas for help with contacting
Moradin to become a Dwarf.
We tried doing what we could in our spare
time, but we also had to focus on the Big
Bad Evil Guy of the setting, since we did
not want to derail the whole thing for our
DM who had been a pretty chill dude up to
this point about the whole thing.
We told Oohgie that we had to fight a big
bad guy, and that we needed to focus on saving
the world.
Oohgie seemed to understand, and asked for
a little bit of metal, promising to stop asking
if we got it for him.
We relented, and turned over the last pieces
of metal for him in exchange for him helping
us on the quests.
The DM told us that Oohgie is not designed
for the combat levels we were at by this point,
but he could help a little if we were careful.
Worst case scenario, we pull him back, Lucas
performs Lay On Hands, and we are good.
We slowly uncovered a conspiracy that ties
to an ancient forgotten god, one who was worshiped
as the god of destruction and undoing.
Pretty sweet stuff as we kept getting closer
and closer.
The armor from Oohgie stopped showing up;
but it was okay as we found cheap armor.
We made an effort to save the pieces that
Oohgie had crafted for us, out of loyalty
to our curious, big Crafty-Smith friend.
Oohgie never seemed to ask for metal anymore,
but we heard him clanging away every night
before we would fall asleep.
The lessons continued, with Raj teaching Oohgie
more and more about Moradin, but he could
not answer the most spiritual of them, only
being a warrior who happened to be a Dwarf.
For the questions about the god’s methods,
Lucas was there to answer his questions.
“How Oohgie talk to Moradin?”
“You pray, and ask for guidance.”
Lucas said.
“Moradin show Oohgie how make better armor?”
“If he sees fit, he shall guide you.”
“How Oohgie know?”
“You will not, but you have to believe.”
“Oohgie believe.”
After awhile, Oohgie began splitting the time
between speaking with Lucas about Moradin,
which he thought was the quickest way to becoming
a Dwarf, and practicing his rudimentary Dwarvish,
which he used to read his first book.
He faded more and more into our groups 'project',
a background character.
We still cared for him, but we just could
not afford to baby-sit him as we leveled up.
He also insisted on having Lucas ask Moradin
if he was a Dwarf yet.
“Moradin make Oohgie Dwarf now?”
“That is not my place to tell, Oohgie.”
Lucas said.
“Oohgie pray but Moradin not talking.
Did Oohgie do it wrong?”
“It is not my place to tell, but I believe
the gods work in mysterious ways.”
Lucas said reassuringly.
“Oohgie understand.
Make better armor soon for friends.”
As we cleared out more and more dungeons,
we started to realize that we had made a mistake
dragging Oohgie along.
He just could not keep up to our leveling
up, and he could not get any useful perks.
He started to become a hassle.
By the time we were at the final stretch of
the quest, facing the ancient cult summoning
the god, we had a silent agreement to leave
Oohgie behind, lest he get hurt.
We executed the play perfectly.
The last town before the invasion, we told
Oohgie to stay with the magic forge and practice
alone for a few days, and that we were going
to get him more metal to work with.
Of course the big lug agreed, and after casting
a spell to keep the fires going for a week,
we set out, Oohgie clanging away happily.
We did not look back.
But you can be damned sure we did not leave
with a smile.
Two hours into the dungeon, and we knew we
had messed up.
First off, we failed one too many sneak and
bluffs, and that meant the cultists had finished
their mission in summoning the god of undoing.
He was essentially an Orcus without the secrecy.
Pragmatic as hell, he immediately begins to
cast a bunch of seals and spells that trap
us in the room, and then debuffs our armor
to the point that it is unraveling back into
scrap.
Our Warlock was protecting our Wizard with
a low level demon, and our Rogue was stealthily
trying to pickpocket the dead cultists for
anything that might help.
Raj and Lucas led the attack, and I was firing
a volley every chance I got, rolling for anything
that might break his ungodly armor.
We were using everything, and had run out
of potions.
Lucas had no more Lay On Hands available thanks
to a dozen cultists cutting off his prayers
to Bahamut.
It was only now that we regretted not having
a cleric.
The god approached Lucas and Raj, and without
a hint of a monologue, proceeds to wreck their
faces.
He breaks Raj's armor, shatters the divine
shield Lucas was using, and then readies his
next round of spells.
And then, the DM rolled for initiative…
From behind me, a large metal sphere flew
out and thumped the god.
Not enough to hurt him, but it was a high
enough roll to disrupt his spell.
“Oohgie done crafting.”
From behind us, standing in the large doorway,
stood an Ogre, clad in a terribly mismatched
set of armor emblazoned with a hammer of Moradin
on its chest piece.
In his right hand was an enormous hammer the
size of a stone column and made of the same
dented metal.
Suddenly, all the nights of clanging made
sense.
Oohgie wanted to help, and we just thought
he was a burden.
Oohgie charged forward, rolling a 17 on his
first roll, and with the god suffering from
'stupification' because of his entrance, landed
his first hit.
It was the most damaging hit we had done to
the god, and it had been dealt by an Ogre
that was wearing what looked like the rejected
arts and crafts project of a preschooler.
We sat there for a moment in stunned silence,
as the DM described the armor and hammer he
carried, calling it a crude mimicry of the
holy hammers and suits of armor worn by paladins
of Moradin.
“You no hurt-”
Clang
“Ohgie's friends!”
Clang
“No more!”
Clang
Three hits, each one doing a little less than
the last, but still doing something.
During this affair, the Rogue finally hit
a natural 20, and found the cultist leaders
emergency reagents to shut the whole spell
down on his corpse.
She rolled for the toss to Lucas, who had
enough armor to take another hit if he needed
to get close.
Oohgie roared and attempted a grapple, using
his natural modifiers to hold him, a god of
destruction, for a brief moment.
“Oohgie palydin now, too!
Help Moradin, help Lucas!
Like real Dwarf!”
We felt a pang of guilt .
We had left this guy behind so he could not
bother us with his quest to becoming a Dwarf;
but here he was, wearing that stupid smile,
wearing that stupid armor, and pulling that
stupid move.
Lucas sighed heavily and we all rolled for
our respective abilities.
There was a brief moment where we thought
that we had this thing down, until Lucas and
our Warlock stopped and realized the flaw
in the plan.
“Oohgie still is not high level.”
With that, our turn ended, and the DM rolled
for the god's attack versus Ooghie’s grapple.
I wish I could say Ooghie had a natural 20.
I wish I could say that his modifier gave
him just enough to hold the god down.
But I can't.
The god rolled 14.
Ooghie rolled 5.
The DM then informed us that not only did
the god break the grapple, but now had stunned
Ooghie long enough to cast a spell of 'Destruction'.
Point blank at Ooghie's chest.
As I said before, very rarely did Oohgie craft
armor that matched the level stats of armor
we bought in town.
He was wearing armor that was almost 2 levels
below his current level.
And his current level was lower than any of
us.
Oohgie collapsed in a heap, and the god turned
to face us.
For those that do not know, our Warlock was
once That Guy.
He had a major falling out with the DM and
Lucas, and reformed himself.
He never got along with Lucas, but he was
willing to not be a jerk as long as Lucas
did not call him out on stuff again.
This was the only time I saw our Warlock look
across the table and ask Lucas for help.
“I need a favor.
And I need it now.”
Lucas moved to cover the Warlock, who charged
forward with a series of demons in tow.
Our Warlock may have been a bit of a jerk,
but he was a jerk with a good amount of demons
on call for favors.
He called every single one of them in.
The DM, knowing what this meant to us, did
not bother to ask for our rolls.
Every demon snuck in a hit, and with a Dwarf
at his heels, a Wizard freezing his balls,
and a ranger firing arrows into every square
inch of flesh exposed on his hide, it was
no wonder the god never saw our rogue behind
him with the sealing amulet and scroll of
desolation from the cultist leader.
Before the god even returned to the astral
plane, we rushed to Oohgie, who was managing
to hang on by the merest thread of life possible.
Lay on Hands was next to useless, and with
no potions, we all knew what we were watching.
We were watching Ooghie die, and even after
we had killed a god, conquered dungeons, and
leveled evil kingdoms, we could not save our
friend.
“Oohgie sorry he got in way.”
“You didn't, you did great-” Lucas said
trying to comfort the ogre.
“Oohgie sorry he not make good armor like
Dwarf.”
“We love your armor, big guy, don't think
like that.”
I had never seen Lucas try so hard to call
in a favor from Bahamut, or roll so desperately
for a miracle.
Even the Warlock was searching his sheets
for a demon who might help without too hefty
a price.
No such luck.
“Oohgie know why Moradin no talk to Oohgie.
Oohgie hands too big n' clumsy, so Oohgie
not make small armor nice and pretty.”
“It's fine Oohgie, just hang on, we are
going to save you.”
Lucas said with tears in his eyes.
“Oohgie knew he not good Crafty-smith when
he saw Dwarf temple, and Crafty-smiths look
at him funny, but Oohgie try anyways.”
I am a touchy-feely guy, and I know Oohgie
was a figment of our imagination, but when
you see Lucas, a veteran who lost his left
leg to a bomb before he was twenty five, holding
back tears, you know it was not just me being
blubbery when I say that we were tearing up.
“Oohgie not good Crafty-smith with armor
and weapons, but Oohgie good crafty-smith
at something.
Oohgie can make good story.”
At this point, our Rogue hid behind her screen,
and the Warlock just stared down at his sheet,
having stopped searching for his demon to
deal with.
“Oohgie think Dwarves make good armor and
stories, which why Oohgie wanted be Dwarf,
but Oohgie understand he not Dwarf, and he
not be Dwarf ever.”
Oohgie's breathing began to slow, and Raj
grabbed his hand, holding it as best as he
could.
“You could be a Dwarf, Oohgie.
You could be the best Ogre Dwarf in the land.”
Oohgie closed his eyes and smiled
“Oohgie like that.
He go sleep now.”
And like that, our party lost Oohgie the Crafty-smith,
and we all think a little something died with
him inside all of us.
We looted the dungeon, killed the remaining
cultists, and made our way back to the nearest
village, one that happened to have a temple
and forge for followers of Moradin.
When we entered the town, we all took notice
that the forges were louder than ever, and
half the town seemed to be gathered around
the temple.
Naturally curious, we moved closer.
At first, we were rolling to push through,
until Lucas used a favor from Bahamut to project
a holy shout and clear the path.
We got closer and closer to the entrance,
we saw more and more Dwarves, some wearing
the emblem of Moradin, others in the attire
of his sacred blacksmiths.
As we reached the entrance, knowing we were
not allowed in, we asked a priest if he could
tell us what the fuss was.
The priest asked us if we had been involved
with the destruction of a god of undoing.
Of course we were, so he led us inside.
Deep inside the mountain, past the pillars,
and past the gorgeously carved hallways and
stone arches, and into the deepest parts of
the forge's sanctums.
We witnessed dozens of Dwarves mill around,
throwing around orders and commands in ancient
Dwarvish.
The priest pointed to what had been causing
the ruckus.
“We received divine word that Moradin the
Creator has ordered a statue to be erected
to honor the fall of the god.”
The Dwarves tugged out a large, metal and
marble statue from a crafting vault.
“And the appointment of a new Apprentice
to his mighty forges in the halls of his domain.”
There, crafted by the finest Dwarven artisans,
was an enormous, thirty foot tall statue of
Oohgie, complete with a golden hammer, a silver
book of Dwarven crafting, and a beard befitting
a Dwarf.
'Oohgie Good-Crafter, Honorary Dwarf of Moradin
and Crafty-smith of the Forge.'
That was the first time I cried playing D&D.
After a year of sessions in D&D, I elected
to have my hero, the Half-Elven Ranger, retire
into God-hood as a Deity of Honorable Hunting.
Upon ascension, I asked for a favor.
As great as my weapons were in the mortal
realms, the fact was that I needed something
more suited for godly duties, so they needed
to be reworked.
And I knew exactly who I wanted to remake
them.
Moradin welcomed me into his forges, obviously
happy to have his apprentices practice with
their skills in crafting weapons fit for gods.
When I asked if it would be possible to have
someone specific work on it, he knew exactly
who I wanted, and led me to a grand hall where
dozens of Dwarves were gathered around a large
figure clanging away happily at an anvil.
There, wearing his iconic slap-dash armor
over an enormously enlarged Dwarf robe, was
Oohgie, wearing the biggest, dumbest smile
you could ever imagine.
He looked up, smiled, and picked me up, laughing
and hugging as I tried not to cry.
When he finally put me down, I showed him
what I had wanted to show him ever since he
left our group.
I held up my hands, and showed him what I
was wearing for celestial armor.
There, on my hands, were 'Oohgie's Wristy
Gerd Gloves', battered from years of use and
adventures, and raised to the level of a god's
armor.
And that… is the story of Oohgie the Honorary
Dwarf, and Crafty-smith of the Forge.
Thank you for listening!
Before we discuss the video, one more quick
word about our sponsor, Audible.
Audible members can choose 3 titles every
month: 1 audiobook and 2 Audible originals
you can’t hear anywhere else.
Start building your audio library today worry-free
because your audiobooks stay with you even
after you cancel your Audible membership.
Sign up now, get “I, Strahd: Memoirs of
a Vampire” or any audiobook you choose for
FREE and start the new year off right, with
vampires and DND.
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
It’s always something special when an NPC
becomes more than an NPC.
Have you ever had an NPC go beyond a background
character in your game?
Please let us know and comment below!
Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel,
All Things DnD.
Our next video will be posted in 2 days, so
stay tuned for more amazing Dungeons & Dragons
content!
