

### Children of Bast

### by

### Frederick Fuller

### Smashwords Edition

### Published by Frederick Fuller

### Copyright 2011 by Frederick Fuller

### Print version available at <http://www.amazon.com/>

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

### Smashwords Edition License Notes

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### Dedication

To my oldest friend and companion of 15 years, Millicent, my cat. Because of her and our love for each other, this story and this book are possible.

Also, and certainly not least, to my greatest love, Terry, who allows me unending freedom to write, and loves me unconditionally.

Note: This story takes place in Evanston, IL, north of Chicago. Northwestern University is in Evanston and is the university to which I refer. Cats do not know geography, so they do not know specifically where they are at any time. Although they are territorial, they cannot locate their territories on a map. A few references to Evanston are made, and the sharp reader may recognize them. However, the location is not relevant to the story.

### Acknowledgments

Writing this novel has been a labor of love, to use a cliché. I am very grateful for the encouragement my family and friends gave to me when I announced I was writing a memoir of a cat named Gaylord, who is the narrator. All of the principal characters are cats that talk. No one suggested I get help; they encouraged me to continue, and then, perhaps, get help.

I also wish to thank my love, Terry, for her patience at being a "writer's widow" for two years. She is nothing but a bundle of love and devotion, and without her support, I could do nothing at all, especially write day after day without raising my head, forgetting my medicine, which she brought to me faithfully, forgetting to eat many times and sleeping fitfully when my characters, all nocturnal, danced in my head. Thank you, Terry. Love you forever and ever.

Finally, thanks to my cat, Millicent, or Millie, whom you shall meet in the story. She was my wife's cat until my wife died in 2006. Millie graciously took me under her paw and gave me comfort. She owns my life, which for cat lovers, is a given. She is 15 years old, and when she leaves me, which she is bound to do some day, a huge chunk of whom I am will leave with her.

Enjoy!

### Preface

After reading this preface, you will probably call 911 and have me locked away so I won't hurt myself. I would do that if I had not experienced what I relate in this book.

Cats can talk. Not with meows, clicks and guttural flutters that they use only to get our attention and do not use with each other, but in their own language, a dialect of Egyptian Arabic (EA) that is spoken today by over 50 million people in Egypt. For good measure, cats use some Coptic, especially if a word in EA escapes them. However, purring is for everyone because that's how mother cats relate to their kittens. Therefore, when they purr for us, it usually means they consider us kittens. (I'm kidding, of course. Purrs most often mean happiness.)

Why EA? Simply put, it is part of their Egyptian heritage, and even though they understand vernacular languages of humans all over the world, among themselves and a select few humans, they speak EA. In fact, I learned that cats talk to EA speakers in Egypt quite often. Nevertheless, it is not widely acknowledged because Egypt does not want a blanket committal to a psychiatric institution for her people.

Five years ago in winter, a cat came into my life. Like many cats, he appeared one evening at my door and made himself heard with meowing, scratching and banging.

When I opened the door, he promptly took residence. I was not shocked; it had happened to me before. I assumed he was lost and needed food and shelter.

I liked him right off. He was chatty but not annoying. Friendly and cuddly, he soon became a lap cat extraordinaire and relished the food I put before him. His litter box routine was impeccable, and he was very clean about himself, washing before and after meals, something I had never seen a cat do before. He was content being indoors, and that was just fine. Since I am gone most of the day teaching, I prefer indoor cats because I know where they are and do not have to worry about them.

Because he was black like pepper, I dubbed him Pfeffer, German for pepper. (Later I learned his street name was Gaylord, but that is ahead of my story.) His eyes were the color of new pennies, and he was large and muscular but not enormous. I noticed scars on his body, so I knew he was a fighter.

He was with me six weeks before he spoke. It was dusk, and I was preparing my dinner. Pfeffer sat on a chair by the table, as unusual, watching me cook, but this time he looked straight at me with what seemed like an expression on his face. I looked askance at him and thought, Cats do not have expressions. They are stolid, showing emotion when they want something, when they are cuddling, or when they are angry. However, Pfeffer stared at me as if he were examining me.

While stirring my vegetables, I said, "Pfeffer, why are you glowering at me? You seem anxious." (Because I live alone, I talk to most everything, animate or inanimate, in order to verify that I'm still present.) I smiled at him and continued stirring.

In perfect Egyptian Arabic, I heard: "I didn't mean to glower, Professor, but I am anxious to talk to you."

My spoon clattered to the floor when I whirled around and stared at him. I'm losing my mind, I thought immediately. Then, I laughed like a loon.

"Of course," I said. "One of my ninny grad students has rigged the chair with a speaker and is somewhere talking for poor Pfeffer."

"No, Professor. I am talking to you. No one is talking for me." Again, perfect EA.

I laughed even louder and began looking for the speaker. I grabbed Pfeffer, dropped him on the floor and turned the chair upside down.

"Hey, Professor, watch it. I'm not a sack of grain."

There was a video camera somewhere, I decided. I began examining the walls, the doors, under the table; anywhere I thought they placed a device.

"Get used to it, Professor: I, Pfeffer, as you call me, am talking to you." With that, he nipped my ankle. "I'll really bite you if you don't settle down."

I became a teeth-chattering idiot. My eyes, I am positive, were ping-pong balls with dots, and I could not have raised spit if my life depended upon it. It was not possible that a cat was speaking to me at all, but especially in EA, a language I have studied for 40 years and with which I still have difficulties. However, this cat staring at me, spoke it perfectly. For some insane reason Ebenezer Scrooge flashed in my mind, and as he wondered when Marley's ghost appeared, I wondered if I might be hallucinating because of a morsel of undigested food. I stared transfixed with my jaws chattering like a decapitated head.

"Nadam," he said. It means I regret in EA. "Nadam, Professor, that I shocked you." His voice was soft and breathy but not like a hiss, and he enunciated precisely.

In EA I said, "You have no idea how shocked I am. In fact, I'm positive I've lost my mind."

He came over and rubbed his body around my leg, which felt nailed to the floor, and scent-marked my shoes. Then, he sat and looked up at me.

"You're not losing your mind, I assure you. That I can talk is not a big deal for me, but I know most bašar lose it when I do. Bašar are experts at assuming and taking things for granted, and the fact that amai can talk is something you all have convinced yourselves is not possible."

I recognized amai to be the plural of cats, and bašar the term forhuman being. I started to speak.

"Just listen, Professor. Please let me explain."

In excellent EA, he explained that all animals communicate, some with words like cats and rabbits and skunks and raccoons and most other small feral creatures that we take for granted, and many other animals communicate with body language.

"Savvy bašar know when we switch our tails fast, we're not happy." He laughed, something else I did not know cats could do.

"Even dogs have a language," he continued, "although it's a wonder because their brains can't be much larger than a pebble. You see, Professor, we animals, especially those of us who have lived close with you forever, have been forced to learn and understand your languages wherever we happen to be imprisoned and dependent."

The word imprisoned did not pass me by, but I chose not to pursue it. Later, you will understand.

"Question is why didn't we learn to speak your languages. Well, for us amai it was to remain remarkable, uncommon, even unusual, if you will. Bašar think we are aloof, but we are not. We quite simply know that we are the most splendid creatures in the world. To lower ourselves to speak your language would begin a process of possibly being like you are, and that we cannot abide. You are a very cruel species, Professor. You kill each other regularly, and your cruelty and torture of other animals are horrific, including amai in parts of the world."

I could not argue with him about our treatment of animals; he was spot on.

He explained the connection of EA with their origin. "Most of us use bašar because we believe we are entitled. We were once gods, you know."

Completely spellbound, I slid to the floor, but stood quickly when I smelled my vegetables burning. I snapped off the burner and slid again to the floor.

"Okay," I said, feeling certifiably insane, "what do you want with me?"

"I need to tell a story, have it written in a book and published."

"A story?"

"Yes. About a very important part of my life."

"A memoir?"

"Is that what you call it?"

"Yes."

I was amazed. I had gotten comfortable talking to him, no more trembling and feeling lightheaded. I recalled reading in Psychology Today that once you're comfortable with something you know is impossible, you're probably completely insane, like getting used to robbing banks or . . . talking to cats.

"Let's start tomorrow," he said before he began washing his face. "I'm tired now." He yawned and smiled again. "What are your plans for after supper?"

"Uh, dunno. TV? Read? Why?"

"Oh, I hope for a lap. I am a cat, after all, and I love to snuggle as we've done evenings since I got here. I'm a lap cat. That's what you've said anyway."

My appetite disappeared, so we went to the living room where I tried to read. He stretched out on my lap, laid his head on my knee and tuned up his purr. Now and then, he looked back at me and smiled. I just knew he was getting a kick out of driving me crazy.

Instead of reading, I sat still and waited to wake up from the nightmare. I knew I was asleep somewhere, and I was in this cat's dream. I would wake up, he would be on my lap and I would have a good laugh. It did not happen.

At last I accepted that I had a cat that could speak excellent EA and that I was so crazy I'd be eating and drinking out of bowls on the floor very soon.

I will not bore you with more details of that evening because nothing happened that was as overwhelming as having a cat speak to me. I fell into a restless sleep, and woke up around three in the morning with him still on my lap.

Over the course of two months, I listened to his story and translated it into English. Actually, it is a transliteration because the languages are so foreign to each other that direct translation is impossible.

You will find that I used transliterated EA words here and there in the text because Gaylord—his name that he finally revealed to me—wanted readers to get a flavor of his language and appreciate the fact the cats are, in fact, extraordinary creatures like none other. (That Gaylord had self-importance issues will become quite evident in the story.)

As we worked together and shared cuddle-time each evening, Gaylord and I became very close friends. Nevertheless, when he finished his story and left me the job of editing, he departed quickly to his home, which I will describe later. Even though it has been five years since we collaborated and we see each other as often as possible, I miss him terribly. If I had not learned from him that all cats can talk, I could call him unique. He is not one of a kind, but he is exceptional.

I have included a glossary to define EA words used in the text. Hope you enjoy Gaylord's memoir.

Professor F. L. Fuller

Adjunct Professor of Egyptian Arabic

### Chapter 1

_Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them._ JimDavis

At Time of Owls I approached Chubby's hideaway under the

dilapidated shack he called home. Familiar shadows of two toms approached from the alley: Raeed and Thain, the meanest, most vicious amai alive. They took great pleasure in tormenting, maiming and often killing the feeble and frail, kiths and especially elderly amai too weak to defend themselves.

I bolted forward, cleared the splintering porch rail and jumped Raeed before he could look up. A huge tarnished yellow creature with a scruffy, unkempt coat zigzagged with scars; he flipped to his back, hissed and screamed, clawed my face and clamped down my nose. When he went for my ear, I sunk my teeth into his throat and tasted his blood squirting into my mouth. He stopped struggling, and still holding him down, I released his throat. Glaring at him nose to nose, I said, "If I ever see you around Chubby again, I'll slice you open like the rat you are."

He wrenched free and arched his back, his tail flapping like a flag and every hair on his body fluffed like feathers on an angry tuyuur.

"This isn't over, Gaylord," he spat.

"Yes it is, Raeed, unless you wanna die." He hissed at me again and slithered into the shadows.

Turning to Thain–a knotty, skinny gray with eyes like wet cement–I hissed right into his face hard enough to blow him over. He was a coward without Raeed, so he spun and ran so fast he became a dot in the distance.

I wanted to kill Raeed so bad once when he made a pass at Adele, but she stopped me, asking why I wanted to roll around with garbage and reminding me I didn't have enough experience to fight him. At the time, she was right.

As I washed his stinking blood off my face, I heard Chubby laughing like a deranged kilaab barking at shadows.

I trotted back and said, "Okay, let me in on the joke."

"If I live to be a hundred, and I warn you, I'm going to if this keeps up, I'll never forget the look on Raeed's face when you nailed his throat. I think his eyes popped out when you bit down."

"You're a sick old amait, Chubby, to get a kick out of seeing someone get torn to pieces."

"I'm not sick if I want to see that sack of khara get his, am I. He deserves every bit of it."

I continued washing my face and chest, spitting to get Raeed's blood out of my mouth.

Chubby continued to laugh. He laid under the building with his paws and legs curled under him with his tail wrapped around his body. He was ageless. None of us knew how old he was, not even him. His amait name was Gahiji, which means hunter, and when he was younger, he was the best. Chubby was the name the bašar yelled at him when they chased him away from their flower gardens where he dumped his khara. Cats in the clowder started calling him Chubby.

"Holy Bast, in my day I'd have snapped his neck with one bite. How come you let him roll over?"

It was End of Light now, but Lady A'maar hadn't risen and all I could see of Chubby was his one yellow eye.

"He was pretty fast." I sniffed my tail to make sure it was clean. "Besides, I like the taste of an enemy's blood, except Raeed's. Tastes like fresh khara."

I looked in the direction the two rotten beasts had run and wondered why I hadn't killed them both right then. They'd killed lots of amai, including some of my friends. But, they were psycho; amai don't kill unless we have to.

"So, where'd you come from?" Chubby asked. "Haven't seen you forever. What brings you clear across town at such a timely moment?"

"To save your withered butt. I'm super amait, don't you know." I laughed as I crawled under the shack and sprawled near Chubby. "I am beat."

"Getting old, Gaylord?"

"You should know, my ancient friend." We laughed again. "No, just came by to shoot the breeze, lie, tell stories and create the finest tiraan khara ever made. I know how good you are at that, Chubby."

My eyes adjusted and his face came into view, a serene face that revealed wisdom without saying a word. He was a tabby with speckled faraawi, a little black, but mostly orange. His face looked like a kith's except for the blind eye and the scars from many fights. He was also fat from stealing food set out for our house amai cousins at night by their bašar. He sported white socks and a tail broken so many times in fights it resembled a rope with knots. But, he was the definition of contentment in his old age.

"Yeah, well, you ain't so bad at grinding out the tiraan khara, yourself." He licked a paw, eyeing me. "Glad you came. Always good to see you, Gaylord." He gave his ear and face a swipe with the moist paw, and then settled back into a pile of faraawi. He looked at me with his good eye and said, "I've been wantin' to talk to you for some time about Adele and what happened. You disappeared and never told me much."

"It's hard to talk about, Chubby. It's too soon."

"Yeah, well, I don't know. It's been two years. How long you gonna grieve? Adele and I were like family long before you came into the picture, Gaylord, so I think I have a right to hear what happened."

I looked away. He was right, but just thinking about Adele always brought me to tears and talking about her was almost impossible. I watched him sitting in front of me, a grizzled old wise amait with a stare that always made me feel guilty without knowing what I'd done. He was the abaa' and agdaad I ever knew; we'd become close since Adele brought me to him when I first hit the streets for his wisdom and guidance so my kith brain wouldn't get me into trouble.

Maybe I should talk about it, I thought, and close that part of my life.

"How much time you got, Chubby?"

"All the time in the world."

I sighed and twitched my ears but didn't say anything for a long time. Cars swished by, streetlights popped on and a cool breeze slid under the shack that used to be a small store. Chubby said the bašar who ran it were okay and gave him fresh liver almost every day. Someone abandoned it and left it to rot after the bašar died, Chubby said. They boarded up the windows and doors long ago, and all the paint had flaked to the ground. They nailed the back door shut, but over the years, the nails pulled loose and the door rattled in the wind.

We went inside once and found only empty, dusty rooms that made Chubby sad. He lived under the shack because it was near places to get food, and because he was a softhearted old tom, he kept watch over the place in honor of the bašar who had fed him.

"Okay, let me start at the beginning, before I knew Adele and you. Let me go back and explain how I came to be this ragged alley amait you see before you."

He smiled. "Fantastic." His voice was old and scratchy, but his purr rivaled the cars whizzing by.

### Chapter 2

_The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity._ Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

Although my beautiful orange tabby maama never knew about nibiit until we got to the seminary, she soon became a heavy drinker, a lush, in fact. Our captors, or owners if you wish...God, how I hate that word, owner. No one owns me now or ever will again. We were captives."

I glanced at Chubby who was laughing his tail off. "Go ahead, laugh," I said. "You're lucky you've never been captured."

He stopped laughing and said, "And never will be. Feral and free start with the same sound."

So does old fart, I thought, but he did have a way with words.

"Okay. Our captors were young college students who'd picked us up somewhere in the Clowder of Bašar. You know, where tall buildings are crowded and cars run like rivers. I've heard them call it Sheekaga, or something like that. I'd been a kith when we got there and was too young to remember where maama and I came from. Lucky we were adopted together.

Now, to be fair to our captors, Harriett and Ned weren't bad bašar. They petted us and brushed us and cuddled us, stuffed us with food, and gave us a warm place to sleep that was lamis like my maama's faraawi. And after laying on their laps until A'maar Aw'aat, they'd gave us their sofa to sleep on. But, we had no freedom, and we had to use a litter box to whiz and dump. A litter box. Ever use one?

"Heard of 'em. Sounds disgusting."

"Well, I'm here to tell you they smell worse than disgusting."

Their apartment was okay: a place for food where they ate and we ate, a place where the sofa was, a sleeping den and a place for their litter box, only it wasn't like ours and smelled a lot better. Bašar have to have so much to live, Chubby. They're so complicated. Not like us amai: All we need is a nook somewhere to sleep in, a place to dig holes and a few mice or rats to eat. So much easier, hey.

Anyway, they had some skimpy cloth on the floor, a dark color, and it smelled bad, but I could never separate the smells. Except, someone smoked, I think, and dropped ashes on the floor. How can they smoke, Chubby? I'm gone when they make el nar from a little stick.

The cloth was stiff and rough. It gave the whole place a stale, unfriendly feel, nothing cheerful. We were closed in. Nowhere to walk or run. Yeah, we played and rolled around together, but we slammed into the cold, hard walls all the time and about knocked our brains out. I was sure there was more to life, somewhere.

Until I escaped, I'd never breathed fresh air, touched grass or dirt or felt a breeze. Warm light came through a small window above the sofa where we all huddled until it left us.

But, on the outside, wow! Sunlight everywhere; even on cloudy days it's warm, including in the Season of Emergence when it's cold and we get deep snow.

Now, Maama wasn't bothered by the whole setup. After tasting her first nibiit, she didn't care about anything but the next sip. Our captors drank a lot of nibiit, too. They had it every day but were careless about leaving it sit around in glasses where Maama could get to it. Of course, they didn't know Maama was gulping it down. They probably thought amai didn't like nibiit.

My sister, Lamis, and I tried some nibiit once, and gagged all over the cloth on the floor. It tasted bad. I can't describe it, really. It burned all the way down, and it was sour and made our tongues dry and bitter. How Maama could slurp the stuff, we never learned. I think it might have killed her because in the Season of Emergence before I escaped, we found her dead on the sofa one morning, curled up like she was sleeping, contented.

Our light went out that day. Our beautiful, fluffy maama was all we had, Chubby, even though a lot of times she was passed out. But, she was our maama, and we loved her. Harriet found us that morning sitting by Maama, and she petted us and said she was so sorry. We never knew what happened to her body. It just disappeared.

So, I decided then and there I was breaking out. I begged Lamis to come with me, but she was afraid. She said she liked it there and being the only amait around after I left, she'd have it all. I was kind of surprised by her attitude; I wasn't aware she was so greedy. She is beautiful, though. She's the image of Maama except for black around her right eye, a gift from one of our abb, Maama told us. Anyway, Maama died in proyet when it was cold like ice, and snow was deep. Wow. I just realized that was two proyets ago. A lot's happened since she died.

I escaped in early shemu on a warm day filled with sunshine. Harriett was cleaning their apartment, and when she opened the front door to put a rug out, I made a dash for the opening and was gone. I ran like I'd been scalded. Harriett screamed and ran after me, calling my name, but I was too wild with joy to notice.

New smells flooded my nose. I opened my mouth and tasted them. Some were sour like that nibiit Maama drank, and others were choking like the smell of a skunk I met once and will tell you about later. But the smell of rot seemed to be everywhere. Have you ever noticed that? After a while you get used to it and don't notice as much, but all the smells around us seem to float on a cushion of rot. Maybe it's because we're amai that we can detect such stink, but it made me cough and sneeze at first. Still does sometimes.

Noise battered my ears and made them ache and throb. I've learned to put up with it, but street noise like cars, horns, and sirens, whatever, make me bonkers.

Anyway, something soft and green tickled my paws, and when I was far enough away from Harriet, I stopped and buried my nose in it and found it smelled fresh. I took a bite. Sweet but kinda bitter. After bit, I puked green all over the sidewalk and felt wonderful. I still heard Harriet screaming for me, so I ran."

### ~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby giggled again like he had a feather poked up his ass.

"What now?" I asked

"Aw, just enjoying your first experience with grass, is all. It's our stomach medicine."

"Yeah, well, I know now. But, that day I was new to the world. I'd just been born."

"By the way, I know what you mean about stink and noise, and you're right: it's because we're amai and our noses are very good and our hearing's almost as good as a kilaab, if they'd only stop barking for a while. You're an amazing storyteller, Gaylord. Please continue."

### ~ ~ ~ ~

You'll love this. I ran right off a curb just as a car zipped by and bent my whiskers flat against my face. Go ahead and laugh, you idiot, but I did not have to beh yeh for the rest of the day.

I sucked in air like mad and shook like a constipated kilaab; I thought I might die. I hunkered down behind a bush and gawked around while I waited to die, which I didn't, obviously, so I calmed down and started to wander around and see where I was because I didn't know where I was, hey, and I thought it wise to find out.

My captors lived in what I learned later was married student housing, long rows of attached dinky apartments cobbled together from bricks, with two steps up to the front doors. The main campus of the university was across the street, and I saw bushes and trees on the other side with a mass of cars parked behind them. If I was going to see anything and make sure I was far enough away so Harriett couldn't find me, I had to cross that street.

Well, the curb was still there, and I felt sure whatever blew by me would come again. Remember, I didn't know it was a curb or a car; I just knew that I almost died and, somehow, I had to cross the street, even though I didn't know it was a street, then. I sat and gazed at the strange, scary place I wanted to get to with its sprawling buildings and herds of bašar walking everywhere like they were late. I actually considered turning myself in and settling on the sofa for a nap, but I shook my head and was sane again.

As you already guessed, traffic was choked and creeping. I crouched and waited, pinching my eyes closed so as not to cry from the fumes. My nose was raw, and I was almost deaf from the constant roaring of cars and trucks, and their blaring horns. After what seemed like forever, the cars stopped and I bolted across as fast as I could run.

Streaking along the sidewalk dodging bašar feet, I must have looked like an araanib hopping with an amait on its tail. I headed for an alley I saw and barely ducked some ugly-looking mollie bašar who reached for me and yelled, "Isn't he adorable?"

Of course, she was right about me being adorable, but I was not about to be caught. I bolted so fast I became a smudge tearing away from her and leaving her screaming and clomping after me. In seconds I reached the alley and let its darkness swallow me.

I crouched behind a garbage can to catch my breath and think about what I was doing. Yeah, I was free but I was like a kith out there. I knew nothing about being outside, Chubby, nothing. Where would I sleep? How could I feed myself? What about other amai and strange animals and kalb? I'd only seen kalb from the apartment window and heard them bark, but I didn't even know how they smelled. They could be on me before I knew. In a few minutes, I took off running toward some tall buildings where I could see more alleys that looked like good hiding places.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

"Tender footed gib. Sheesh!" Chubby said.

"I am not a gib. Do you mind if I continue?"

"By all means. You had me at your drunken maama."

### ~ ~ ~ ~

Tail high, I found another alley. I stopped and wandered slowly along a brick wall until I got to a place that was very dark, but horrible smells, sharp and stinging like the coffee Harriet made every morning, bit my nose. I was surrounded on both sides by walls of blocks; it reminded me of their apartment, with a rotten stink like the garbage in their kitchen. It gave me the willies, but I also felt safe.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

"You landed in the alley behind the dining hall," Chubby said, chuckling. "Been there a million times."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that then. All I knew was I felt safe, away from bašar who wanted to grab me.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

It occurred to me again that I had either done the best thing by running away, or the stupidest. I missed my sofa. I ate when I was hungry, but now I didn't know where to find food. I was warm in their apartment; in the alley I was cold. At home I purred and snuggled on a lap while they watched TV. In that alley I was free but definitely not comfortable.

At the end of the alley I could see an open space where several huge dumpsters stood in a row. Remember now, I did not know they were garbage bins, but later learned to depend on them for food, if that's what you want to call it. Jumping in and out of them were amai that freaked me out.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby asked, "Why? You're an amait. It shoulda been like a homecoming." He yawned and gave me a puzzled stare.

"Gotta remember, Old Tom, the only amai I'd ever been around were Maama and Lamis, my sister. I'd watched a few through the window, but that's all. At the dumpsters I saw many, a clowder, no less, of wild, untamed amai. I couldn't believe it. I found myself hunkering lower and lower in the shadows."

That's when I saw Adele for the first time, sauntering across the entrance to the alley. My maama told me about our goddess, Bast, and how beautiful she was, being the ideal for all amai. When I saw Adele, I thought Bast had returned. She was so beautiful. White faraawi flecked with black, sparkling green eyes, a round face and big sexy ears—she was perfect. Remember her tail? "

Chubby said in a choked voice, "Hey, you don't have to go through that and start me cryin'. I loved her, too, Gaylord."

"I know. Sorry, but even now she stands in front of me, smiling and peeking at me as she washes a paw."

I stopped talking and crawled out from under the shack, stretched and yawned. The dirt path between the shack and the street had some soft places where I dug a hole to beh yeh in. As I went back I saw Chubby returning from doing the same. He was just nestling himself into a faraawi ball again when I crawled under and settled beside him.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

I instantly focused on her. Yeah, I know I'm not telling you a thing, but, Chubby, I never was and I never have been taken by any amait like I was with Adele. My maama was gorgeous until she let herself go for the nibiit, and Lamis is...well, she's my sister. She's beautiful like Maama was, but Adele stunned me. I could not help myself. I sidled up to her and said, "Eih axbar?" Yeah, it was a stupid thing to say but I was totally tongue-tied. I still feel stupid telling you about it.

"Kwayyis," she said. "You're new here."

"Yeah."

"What's your name?"

"Sydney," I blurted out. I was not about to give her my bašar name, which I always thought sounded stupid.

She moved closer to me. Her scent was fresh spring zahra, like that patch with all the burrs where they're building a high-rise by the lake. I took a chance and licked her ear, and to my delight she licked me back. She rubbed my head and neck; she felt like Harriet's faraawi coat I loved to snuggle in. And, she sang a soft purr; she woke up purring and fell asleep purring. I don't remember her ever quitting."

### ~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, Chubby, but I get carried away when I talk about her now. She was my reason for living." Tears filled my eyes, too.

Chubby said, "I understand. I know how you loved her. I do understand." I licked his face.

### ~ ~ ~ ~

Adele leaned back and looked me over. "Mmmm! Well, Sydney, where have you been all my life?" She nuzzled under my chin. "Love your soft black fawaari. Feels like araanib." Twisting her head around my tail, she hummed, "Ooo! Love your tail: straight and strong and tall. You could whip someone with that thing." She wasn't shy, as you know. Sexy. Down right sexy.

She stared at me and smiled. "But, it's your face that lights my fire. Those huge coppery eyes shining like suns. Where are you from, Bombay?"

"What's Bombay?" I couldn't talk. I didn't know what I was, where I was, or why. I was completely screwed up, Chubby. My throat closed down. No one had ever said things like that to me. I was bewitched. I really didn't understand what she was talking about, but I liked it. I was also scared to death. Amai can't blush but I think I did.

"Uh, I don't know what to say," I managed in a feeble tone. "I just escape from a seminary." I was so pathetic, Chubby.

"A what?"

"A seminary, a place where they train people to honor something. I don't know what, and I really don't understand what they do."

"Weird."

"Yeah. They dress up in robes and stuff and then lay odd-looking things on a table in front eikonigow."

"Any way we can make something of that?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"As you know, we were worshipped as gods once."

"Worshipped: I don't know worshipped." If you'd heard me, Chubby, you'd still be laughing.

"Worshipped. Never heard that word before?"

"No."

"It means they bowed down to us, on their knees. Don't you see? As dim as they are, we could pretend were are gods and goddesses and scare them into doing things for us, like feed us."

"Oh, they did that anyway. I got fed all the time. But I don't think they're dumb enough to fall for us being gods."

"Maybe not, but the food would be good.

"Yeah, if you like that slimy stuff."

"I actually like it. I get a meal out of the trash, after it rots for a while. You got this food free, fresh and no hassle."

"Yeah. Were you a house amait?" She ignored me.

"Listen, Sydney, maybe we could go visit."

"You'd be captured, not let run free, stepped on and petted all the time."

"And your point is?"

"You want to be captured?"

"Well, it gets rough out here, know what I mean? Some easy food and a soft sofa? Yeah." She looked at me closely and then licked my ear. "This is your first time outside, isn't it?"

All I could do was spray.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby rolled over on his back and belly-laughed so hard I feared for his life.

"What? You scabby, scaly old mouser. You've never sprayed around some gorgeous amait like Adele?

"Yes," he managed amid his guffaws, "but the way you tell it, it's hilarious. I can just picture it." He was off again to cackle heaven, still on his back flailing his feet like some capsized crab.

"Hope you pass out. Shall I wait 'til you get control?"

"Give me a minute."

I went out for another beh yeh while he stifled himself. When I got back, he'd stopped laughing but was smiling like devil.

"Okay to go on?"

"Please. I am so loving this."

I yawned in his face and sat.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Yuk! You stunk us up," Adele moaned. "Let's move. You let go when I lick your ear, what'll you do if I wash you?

"Die."

"It is your first time, right?"

"Well, yeah, but do I know what it's like to be locked up all the time. As far as food is concerned, it's always the same, never any variety. That's why out here I don't know what's food and what's not."

Eying me and smiling, she came closer. My bax itched. I looked into her eyes as they caressed me. Oh, Chubby, I loved her green eyes.

She nuzzled my cheek. "Well, let me have the pleasure of showing you how. You're wet behind the ears, but we won't hold that against you. You'll muck up soon enough. Hungry?"

"I could do with some food," I said. Wow, did she smell good; I think I got dizzy.

She led me to one of the huge dumpsters where a lot of amai were clustered. "This one belongs to Smokey's Steak House. Always something good and lots of meat. Come on."

She hit the edge exactly in one leap. I followed but landed like an awkward kith. I was so embarrassed.

"Not used to this," I said when I got my balance. "What are we on?"

A burly disheveled amait pushed between us, and stared in my face. I came close to puking from his breath.

"Hey, Adele, who's the rookie?"

It was Thain, I found out later. Raeed wasn't around.

"Get lost, Thain." Adele hissed.

His body was scraggy and was smeared with slop so that he really didn't look like an amait at all. He resembled the garbage we were rooting through, stink and all.

"And who's gonna make me get lost? Twinkle eyes here?"

Adele turned on him and glared straight into his ugly face. "Me, you piece of khara. You know I can whip your ass two times a day and three times if I want. Give me a reason, Barf Face, please, please give me a reason."

She arched her back and blew up like a giant dandelion puff; her eyes narrowed and flashed; her mouth opened, teeth bared and tongue curled. Her tail whipped like an angry snake.

Thain backed off. I mean I've never seen an amait turn white, but Thain's face looked like snow. Then he gave a half-hearted grin and backed further away.

"You ain't worth it, Gutter Queen." He looked at me. "We'll meet again, Black Tom. Enjoy life while you have it, and Adele."

"You're scum," Adele yelled at him, and when he jumped down and ran off, laughing, she screamed after him, "Kuss ummak!"

I asked, "What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?" she snapped at me, still staring in Thain's direction.

"What you said. Kuss? I don't remember the rest."

Without looking at me, she said, "Kuss ummak? You don't wanna know. It's the worst thing anyone can say to another. You'll learn soon enough. It's an insult to his mother." She snorted, and then looked at me. "His buddy, Raeed, is even worse. Stay clear of them until you get more experience, and even then be very careful. They're dirty fighters and they'll gang up on you." She smiled and nuzzled my chin. "Don't wanna lose someone as beautiful as you." She rubbed my face with hers, and you guessed it, I let loose another shower.

"Will you quit that?" She wrinkled her nose and backed away.

"Sorry, but you do something to me."

"Okay, I'll stop." She grinned.

"Please don't. I'll get a hold of myself."

"See that you do." She looked at the dumpster. "Okay, you had a question: What is this thing we're sitting on? It's called a dumpster. Bašar use them to throw out stuff they don't want. They're so pathetic. They throw the best stuff out. None of us can figure why they'd want to part with all this wonderful food, but, hey, ours is to benefit, theirs to weep."

"Of course, I know what dumpsters are now, Chubby, but then I was astounded by their size. Big as houses! And stink. I'd never smelled anything so bad, but Adele was right at home

"I've never heard them called bašar before. I love it," I said as we sat on the edge and looked around at all the stuff below us.

"It comes from our oldest language," Adele said. "You do know our language, don't you?"

"Sure. I'm talking to you, right? Our maama taught us, but she wasn't with it all the time."

"Not with it? What's that mean?"

"Our maama drank a lot. Nibiit."

"Two questions: what's with our maama and why'd she drink nibiit? Bašar drink nibiit, not amai."

"I have a sister. It's a long story, but Maama found nibiit at the seminary and got hooked. So, she wasn't awake enough to teach us much of anything. Besides, as house amai we forgot a lot because we didn't have to talk a lot. Our captors gave us everything we needed, so talking to Maama wasn't all that necessary."

"Yeah, I know a lot about that. I noticed your talk was broken; now I know why. Looks like I'll have to be your maama now." She smiled.

"Uh, no. That isn't a good idea. Know what I mean?"

"Without question." She smiled and nuzzled me again.

"And why bašar?"

"I really don't know. I just know it's from the old language. We call them bašar sometimes, but that's more like showing something that belongs to them. Like food. We could say bašar food. It'd mean it's their food. Kilaab food would be for kalb, and so forth. See?"

"Yeah. Gee you're smart."

"I know," she said, and I caught that she was serious.

I looked into the dumpster and found myself transfixed by what I saw. Mounds of bags filled with things I couldn't identify. Boxes filled with garbage. Loose gobs of vegetables; meat and fish that had gone to the dark side, and what I called sludge covered the whole thing like a sauce.

"Follow me," Adele hollered. She hopped down into a mound of something green and limp. It was lettuce. I'd watched Harriett fix it, tasted it once and threw up. I dropped down beside her.

"You know I don't know your name," I said.

"Adele. That's the name I gave myself. Oh, look." She jumped to the right and landed on something white.

"What is that?"

"A kilaab bag."

"A what?"

"A kilaab bag. It's what bašar take food home in from restaurants. If they have too much, which I cannot imagine, they stuff it in one of these and take it home to feed their kilaab. Sometimes they forget to take them and the restaurant guys throw them away." Her husky voice enchanted me.

"Okay," I said and jumped beside her.

'Course, I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. Kilaab bags, restaurants and restaurant guys—I was confused.

"It's a guess as to what's inside," she said, "but usually it's food that's okay. Let's take a peek."

With that she shot out her front claws, grabbed the edge of the bag and ripped it open.

"Fish," she yelled. "Fish, and lots of it. Let's go, Sydney." She grabbed the bag in her mouth and ran.

I followed her up over the edge of the dumpster and onto the street. She darted to the rear of the alley and scampered into an opening in the bricks just big enough for her and the bag. I scrunched in behind. She looked around before dropping the bag.

"Sorry it's a mess," she said. "I wasn't expecting company. Well, not this early, anyway." She smiled and dropped to the floor next to her stash. "Don't stand there, Sydney. Let's eat."

She nuzzled the bag open and dropped a piece of fish in front of me. I took a bite of the strange stuff. Not soft and mushy like my captors gave us, but crispy brown on the outside, white on the inside and moist. The brown outside was definitely too salty, but the white was very tasty, and I was hungry.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Yup, that's Smokey's fish, all right. Crisp and moist and savory." Chubby smiled and looked at me. "I do love Smokey's fish. I like Smokey, too. Sometimes he comes out in the alley and gives us all kinds of scraps—bits of meat, chicken bones with meat still on 'em, and that fish. Life is good at Smokey's."

"You got that right, Chubby. Let's see, where was I?"

"Oh, by the way, that business with Thain: she could have ripped his guts out, you know. I saw her fight. She was scary. Slapped Raeed around a couple of times, and he walked very carefully around her. Adele was a terror when she let go."

"How well I know, Chubby. She convinced me that day, and I vowed never to cross her."

"Smart vow."

Tuyuur Song was well on its way, and as the light increased I could see Chubby clearly. Old guy looked like he was snoozing, but I knew better. He was listening to every word I said, so I continued.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Say, can I call you something besides Sydney," Adele asked, looking at me while she washed her face.

"Why? That's my name." I lied.

"Oh, I dunno. You don't look like a Sydney."

"What's a Sydney look like?"

"Well, Sydney sounds sort of snooty to me, like a Sydney wouldn't choose the street over a warm house and plenty to eat. Know what I mean?"

"No. What's a name got to do with what an amait is? I don't understand."

"Yeah, well, maybe I should drop it. It's just stupid me trying to be stupider."

"No, go ahead, please. I'd like to know what's on your mind."

"Okay, it's not an amait name. You do know that every amait has a name known only to the amait? Bašar name us, but that's not our real names.

"My real name, given to me by my maama, is Zahra. What it means she didn't remember, but it was her maama's name, so I'm named after my giddaat." I shot her a puzzled look and sat, curling my tail around my feet. "Did your maama ever call you by another name?"

"No." But then recalled once when Maama told us a little bit about our life a long time ago. "Actually," I she called me Nebibi a few times and said I was named after some big, black amait that roamed the woods. I never knew what she meant."

"Okay, that's probably your real name, given to you by your maama. Sydney is what your bašar called you because they didn't know any better.

"You see bašar don't know about us or our language. We know about them and their language because we have to, because they own us, or think they do. It's better that they think they do because it's to our advantage; they take care of us, feed us and give us warm places to live."

"But that's what I escaped from."

"Well, there are those among us that need to be free. Guess you're one of them. But don't bad mouth amai that remain captives, as you call them. They're living a pampered life by choice."

"So, why are you on the street?" I asked. "I think you were a house amait once."

"Later, Sydney, when I know you better."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I was a little pissed at her for not being open with me. She ignored me, of course.

"Okay, your real name is Nebibi. Want to be called that?"

"Not really. Sounds weird, like something is dripping."

Adele laughed and nuzzled my face. "Well, we gotta do something about Sydney because it is not for a tom."

"I'm very confused. I never thought much about names. Harriet and Ned called our maama Posey and my sister June. They were just names to me."

Adele continued. "See, Sydney could be either a tom or a mollie. It sounds like both, at least to me. I don't like Sydney, and I don't think you do either." She looked straight at me with no expression on her face.

"Why do you say that?'

"Because I don't think it's your name."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I called to you in the dumpster twice and you didn't answer."

"I didn't hear you?"

"Tiraan khara! Your shoulder was touching mine. Your name's not Sydney." She fixed me with an angry scowl.

I sighed and laid down, looking toward the chink opening. "All right, I did lie to you. My bašar name is Gaylord."

"What?" She moved a step closer. "I didn't hear you. You muffled your voice."

"Gaylord. Gaylord! Loud enough?"

"Hey, don't get hostile, although I should because you lied."

"Well, what does it matter? I don't know you. I don't owe you anything, Adele, or Zahra, except maybe a few scraps of fish. What's the harm if I told you a false name?"

"Out here, we have rules. One rule is to tell the truth because a lie could get us caught or killed. We share food, we share hiding places and we sound the alarm when bašar come to round us up."

"What do you mean, round us up."

"Every so often, bašar launch raids because they think we're pains in their tails. We sense when they're in that mood. For the most part we escape, but without the clowder raising a loud scream to warn us, most of us would get caught. We're close out here, like family. Yeah, some of us fight, might even kill each other, but we survive because we cooperate. Understand?"

"Okay, but..."

"No buts. If you're going to stay out here, you have to play the game, or else we'll kill you. Okay, Gaylord?

"Okay."

She scared me. Somehow I knew that because she was an alley amait, she could very well kill me. If not her, then someone else."

"Actually, I kind of like Gaylord," she said as she purred and rubbed my face. "It sounds like a raeed, a take-charge amait that we would follow, and sexy. But, it's not your real name, remember; it's what your captors called you. Understand?"

"Yeah."

"Of course, you know now that telling the truth is right thing to do," Chubby said. "But she was also right to let you know."

"Yup, definitely. I think about all of what she taught me that first day, everyday."

Chubby got up and stretched. After a deep yawn he walked over to me and licked my face.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Not particularly, but I could eat."

"Let go get us a mouse or two."

As I trotted along the street with my old friend, I remembered when Adele introduced me to him, and I blessed her for it.

Chapter 3

Before a cat will condescend

To treat you as a trusted friend,

Some little token of esteem

_Is needed, like a dish of cream_. T.S. Eliot

Are you a gib, Gaylord?"

"No, I'm a tom. A full tom. Why would I spray around you if I was a gib? You can be rude, you know. I don't go around asking strange mollies like you if they've been fixed."

"Well, good. At least we don't have to deal with that wretched business." She went back to eating the fish we'd scored from Smokey's. She was rude, to say the least.

I munched away and thought again about where I was and whether I belonged there. Here I was, this pampered amait hanging out with a mollie that was tough, street-smart, and maybe a little dangerous. I hadn't met any other amai, except Thain, but I'd seen a slew of them milling around, and most looked shifty and mean. They glared at me like I was some disease they had to cure to protect their clowder. Adele dubbed me a kith in the woods after that first dig in the dumpster where I didn't know fish from eggshells. And I was a kith in the woods. So, what was I thinking? What did I expect to accomplish?

Except, I noticed almost immediately after running away that I knew what to do, sort of. Something guided me; I knew even though I didn't know I knew. Does that make sense? Like, I knew what the dumpsters were for. With all the amai milling around them, jumping in and out with their mouths full of stuff I didn't recognize, I just knew it had something to do with staying alive.

I also ran for a dark, secluded place, the alley, because I knew I'd be safe and unseen by Harriett who searched everywhere calling for me.

And, when I saw Adele, although I was shy at first, I saw her as a teacher who knew everything that I needed to know."

"Come on," Chubby said. "Teacher? My crooked tail. You got the hots instantly."

"Yeah, well, I did spray a lot and a warmth gripped my bax, something I'd never experienced."

"Warmth gripped your bax! Lady Bast. You're lying, Gaylord. If I know you at all, I know you drowned in your own spray and wanted to mount her right then." Chubby chuckled and licked a paw. "Good thing you didn't try because she'd a killed you." He paused and smiled. "But I love ya anyway."

Chubby and I got to Smokey's and found a juicy, sloppy piece of meat wrapped in round bread that we didn't eat. We shared the meat except the green thing that was sour. The meat was so good that even washing off was tasty.

"You want me to go on?" I asked.

"Yeah, but can you get to the good stuff? Like the first time you scored."

"Dirty old amait."

"I'm dirty, but I ain't old, just older."

"Yeah, well..."

Adele lapped the last of the juices from Smokey's fish. "So, where's this apartment you keep talking about?"

"Across the street, that row of apartments by the seminary.

"Tell me more about this cemetery."

"No. Sem-in-ary. Seminary."

"Okay. Please explain to me like I was a kith."

"Well, like I said before, they honor something. I'm not quite sure exactly, but we think it's a place where Ned learns about spirits and ghosts and stuff."

"How do you he learns about that stuff?"

"Okay, he and Harriet sped a lot of time on their knees talking to . . . well, nothing. Just this wall with a thing on it."

"Thing?"

"I don't know. A thing."

"Interesting." She began washing her face. "Who's we?"

I'd finished eating, too, and washed up. I can never talk while I wash, so I finished before I answered.

"We are my maama and my sister, like I told you before. You need to pay attention, hey." She cuffed meon my shoulder. "Maama died a few months ago, and Lamis, my sister, didn't want to leave."

"Maybe she's not the street type. What about the spirits and ghosts?" She finished washing and laid next to me, wrapping her lovely tail around herself.

"I don't know. They talk about holy this and holy that. God comes up quite a bit. What is god, anyway, and holy? Something to do with holes?"

"I don't know much about god, but I do know we were gods once."

"Yeah, you told me and when Maama was sober she talked about it."

She ignored me and went on. "Long, long time ago, in someplace a long ways away from here, we were gods. My maama didn't know where we came from, but she told me our god was called Bast. She used the word raeed."

"A leader. That's what raeed means."

"So, you know a word I don't know. She got up and faced me. "My maama said the bašar at that place created a eikonigow for Bast who had a body like a mollie bašar and a head like an amait." She flopped on the floor and stared at me. "Gaylord, I have a lot to teach you." She yawned. Incredible teeth and the prettiest tongue I'd ever seen. Her ears flattened when she yawned, and she squinted her eyes shut. She went on. "My maama said the bašar loved us so much that when we died, they'd shave their eyebrows because they were sad. How's that for weird? And, if someone killed us for any reason, the killer bought it. I think she said they cut his head off. And, get this: after we died, they wrapped us in some kind of cloth and buried us. What about that?"

"What's a goddess?"

"A mollie god."

"Wonder if she was fixed.

"Please shut up and listen. You might learn something and silence the rattling in your head." She signed, licked her chest, and went on. "Bast protected a'maar after the Time of Owls when it's dark outside."

"Whoa. That's sounds freaky. How do you protect a'maar?"

"I said shut up. I'll knock you into next Time of Owls if you don't."

"Okay, grouch."

She slammed a paw on my tail and stared at me like you do sometimes, Chubby, then said, "They made lots of different eikonigow of her, maybe like those eikonigow you saw on the table or that thing on the wall at the cemetery."

"Seminary."

"Whatever. They bowed down to them, my maama told me. They gave them gifts, like perfume and stuff. They even killed animals for Bast, thinking she got off when she smelled the meat burning. Creepy, huh? So, that's the story. Now you know."

"I knew about Bast, but you told me a lot more. Very interesting. Was that place your maama talked about the only place where amai were found?"

"Dunno. Maama didn't get that far. Listen, I need to sleep before we go out again. Wanna curl up together? Get's kind of drafty in here."

Oh, wow, Chubby. It's impossible to tell you how I felt with that invitation. My teeth itched. I'm not lying; my teeth itched.

"And, look," she said, standing over me now, "if you have feelings you don't understand, Gaylord, I understand them, and if you get some kith-brained idea that I'm easy, forget it. I'll slice you up like so much liver. I'm not ready and won't be for at least another three weeks. Understand?"

"Not really." But, my attention came together like clumping litter as she stood there.

"Oh, brother. Now I gotta tell you about that, too?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Let's just get comfy and stop talking." She dropped down and rolled to her side.

"Belly to belly, Bombay boy? Oh, kissing's all right. I like kissing. But that's all. Dig?"

I crawled over and put my belly next to hers. We wound our tails together before kissing and washing each other's faces. Sleep swallowed me whole.

Chapter 4

_The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it_. Doug Larson

Over the next few days Adele taught me how to take care of myself on the street. Never trust a kilaab, she told me, which was new to me because I'd never met one.

"That screaming, whining, barking lump of filthy red hair over by the door of the pizza parlor is a mongrel of some kind. Kalb are retarded, stink like rotten meat and bark constantly. They'll bark at nothing, or themselves, or their leg, which they think is attacking them because it's scratching their ears. And there is nothing between those ears except an eternal whistling breeze where a brain should be. And, they'll eat anything including their own vomit, their own khara and ours. They're constantly ramming their noses in each others butt holes trying to figure out whose is whose. Oh, and did I say that kalb are worthless, nature's biggest mistake? Sorry. I meant to."

Mongrel meant nothing to me, but when she said that they eat amai, I got it. She jumped to a dumpster.

"You know about dumpsters, but never eat anything out of here that smells like your khara."

"My what?"

"Khara. That stuff you bury whenever you go."

"Oh, that's what my maama called aha."

"Call it what you want, but if anything smells like that, don't eat it. It could be khara because some amai don't care where they drop it. Here, I'll show you."

She dug to the bottom of the dumpster and came up with something that looked like a huge hairball.

"Take a whiff." She pushed it under my nose and I gagged.

"What is that?" I rubbed my nose and washed my face.

"Who knows, but don't eat it. If it doesn't kill you, you'll get the throbbing hunches."

"Throbbing what?"

"It's pain in your gut that throbs like crazy and makes your back hunch up all the time."

"Oh. A belly ache."

"Not just a belly ache. A pain that'll make you wanna die. Trust me; I've been here a long time."

"Okay."

After we found a sack with my first half-eaten piece crunchy meat, Adele proceeded to tell me about herself.

"I was like you, once," she said between bites. "Lived in a house, what you call an apartment, and was bored so bad I slept most of the time under a bed. Oh, I got food. Good food, I was petted, bathed—something I hated like poison–and cuddled. I sometimes got taken to some awful mollie bašar in a white coat that I hated. I wore a collar with a bell and had a lovely litter box that cleaned itself. How, I don't know."

"So, you were kidding about going to where I used to live?"

"Yeah," she grinned. "Just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing."

"Those mollie bašar in white coats?" I said while she munched. "Harriet called them vets, whatever that means. I hate vets. They stick you with sharp things, open your mouth, and make you gag, probe your belly until it fills with gas and stick things up your butt. I give them a time, hey. I mean, when I'm finished, so are they."

"Mess yourself?"

"To the max. Makes 'em puke." I went back to eating. I really didn't like the yellow crud on the meat, but the other stuff was tangy and sweet.

"Anyway, I had a good life," Adele continued. "I could even roam the back yard, which was pretty nice. I could eat grass, flowers and leaves. I could even drop my khara in the garden without going to my box. But, I was numb from boredom. The attention my pet parents, as they called themselves, was thorough but brief. Know what I mean?'"

"Yeah. Pick you up, cuddle and scratch your ears, sloppy kiss, put you down and forget about you for hours. I know what you're talking about." I'd finished eating and started to wash, which always ends my ability to talk.

"You got it. So, one day I'm outside, sniffing around, and I don't know why because I had scent-marked the entire territory and nothing had changed, except for a few rain damaged spots that I took care of. Suddenly, as I rubbed my jaw against a post, I got the strong scent of another amait. When I looked up, there he was peeking though the slats at me. Now, I knew about other amai because of going to the . . . what you call it?"

"Vet."

"Vet. But this was the first amait I'd seen loose. I was shocked."

"You saw other amai at the vet, didn't you?"

"Nope. Heard 'em, smelled 'em, but never saw them. You saw other amai at the vet's?"

"No. They came by the apartment. Never went out to them." I finished washing and sprawled out to catch some sun. Adele came over and flopped beside me.

"Although, come to think about it, I was jolted outta my wits once when I saw an amait out the window," I said. "At the vet I was a snarling mass of teeth and spit, so she never let me get away. If I went completely nuts, she'd plop me in this tiny basket with holes in the top and cover it with an old shirt. And there I'd be for hours until she decided I was sane again. Hated that thing. I sat as far back as I could and pouted and glared at everyone who looked in. I hissed my guts out."

"I love hissing," Adele said and turned on her side facing me. "The look on their face is priceless. It's like they're afraid we'll attack and rip and tear. I mean, we're little and fuzzy, but they're scared we'll kill them."

"I would rip and tear if I had a chance. The worst thing about seeing a vet is cleaning myself later. What a sickening task."

"I know exactly what you mean. But, I love how they gag and run from the room. I plaster my ears against my head and hiss away, and then let off a stream of khara that smears all over everything in site—I can clear a room in seconds. Love it, loved it, loved it."

We laughed so hard we couldn't stand up.

Wiping tears from my eyes, I said, "So, go on. You're in the back yard, lucky amait, and you see this other amait peeking in."

"Right. So, I run to the fence and shout, 'Eih axbar?'

"He—it turned out he was a tom—turns to me and says, in a broken kind of language, 'Uh, wazzup? Like the sky, hey, or maybe a tuyuur who's lived long enough. Who are you?'"

"Just wanna talk." I explained who I was and what I was doing there, so he sidles over to the fence and pokes his nose between the slats. We nuzzled, like we're supposed to do when we meet other amai, and began to purr. Ralph, his name was Ralph, which to me was weird. I mean Ralph is a bašar name, not an amait."

"What about Gaylord?"

"Told you I liked it. Anyway, he was a street amait. Always been a street amait. Born on the street. A tough guy, lemme tell you. Scruffy! Looked like a worn out broom.

"Anyway, he told me what his life was like and I told him mine, which he thought was sick because I couldn't roam around like he was doing. But he did like the part about the food. He wasn't keen on bašar, but he could put on a good show, he said, if they had something he wanted, like food. He told me how he'd meow, roll over and let them rub his belly for a few seconds until he could snatch the food and nip them before he ran like hell. Said he never drew blood, but they were so surprised they'd jump back, let him go."

"Sounds like a pretty clever guy," I said.

I met an amait like that, Chubby. A best friend. I'll tell you about him later.

Adele went on: "Really clever. So, after listening to Ralph, I decided to jump the fence, something I knew I could do all along, and go with him. I looked at it this way: I could always come back. My pet parents would miss me, and if I didn't like it, I'd go home, meow, roll over and get back in without a hitch."

"Yeah. That's what I figured when I escaped. Bašar are so easy it's disgusting."

"Meow and they melt. I'm so glad we amai don't meow to each other. So stupid when rubbing heads is much more sensual." She got up and rubbed my head with hers. "Mmm. So, good," she said with a quick lick to my nose.

"Okay, you and Ralph . . .by the way, he ever tell you his amai name?

"Yeah. Some weird name that I don't remember. Ralph came to him when he heard a bašar call another bašar Ralph. Said he just liked the sound. I hate it because it sounds like a kilaab barking."

"All right, so you and Ralph are on the street. Continue, please."

"Well, we struck up a pretty good friendship at first, until I came in."

"Came in?"

"I forgot you're dumb as a kilaab: the time when we can become queens. About every three or four weeks for me, but other mollies are different and in for longer times before they become queens. I stay in until I get settled. It's been a while. No tom around here turns me on, except for you, Gaylord, and we'll talk about that later."

"But you told me not to touch you or you'd hurt me. What's with that?

"That was me waiting to get to know you."

"Oh. How am I doing?"

"Not bad. When I first warned you, you turned white and for a black tabby amait, that's not easy."

"Am I a tabby?"

"You got that frown all the time. Yeah, I'd say you're a tabby. Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror?"

"No. I'm not sure what a mirror is."

"It's glass like a window, and ... wait a minute. The amait you saw from the window, what did he look like?"

"I don't know: black hair, dark coppery eyes, worried expression, a frown maybe. Large ears with black tufts. I don't remember too well." She looked at me with a puzzled expression, then dropped over on her side and laughed like she was insane.

"Oh, sweet Bast! You saw yourself in a mirror. I cannot believe this."

I was getting a little pissed at her now, Chubby, because she was always cutting me down, someway. Okay, I was a greenhorn, but I wasn't stupid. I knew a few things, but she always made me feel small, like I was so dumb I didn't count.

"Look, can you get on with your story of Ralph," I said with just an edge of anger in my voice.

"Okay, okay. It's just so funny, though." After she recovered, she went on. "Okay. Ralph saw that I had come in, and I guess he assumed I was his. You know, I belonged to him. Now, and I know you don't know this because you've never been around a mollie before, but..."

"Wait a minute," I said. "I had a maama and a sister."

"Were they fixed?"

"Dunno, but they're mollies, right?"

She sighed and laid down again, facing me. "Okay, nice and slow, little kith. When mollies come in, we get nasty. I mean we are very scary. It's not that we hate everyone, but we ache, we rub our backsides raw on anything that's tied down, and when toms come around, we get really testy because we have to choose one to get the honor first. And only the best will do. Don't want a bunch of idiot kiths sucking on you."

"Honor?"

"Just shut up and listen. I'll explain later. Anyway, Ralph decides he's gonna to get the honor, but in spite of the screaming fire raging in me, when I looked him over, I found him disgusting. He was dirty, he stunk, he didn't wash his face a lot and he only did a casual swipe of himself after he dropped a load or took a whiz—he was dumpster that never got dumped. I started to ask what she was talking about, but she put a paw in my mouth and hissed. "I rejected him for a beautiful fluffy orange guy who was new to the neighborhood like you are. Ralph goes ballistic. Screaming at me, yowling, hissing. He was a wreck. So, I'm done with fluffy yellow guy whose name I never learned . . ."

"Done with fluffy guy?"

"Okay, if you have to know, mollies get settled three or four times. Don't know why; just know that's the way it is. Dig?" I was clueless. "So, Ralph is screeching his lungs out, and goes around back of me, mounts me, grabs my neck and starts to put it to me. I screamed, rolled over and caught him right across his eyes with full claws. I was so mad I started in on him, and I gotta tell you, I messed him up pretty good. Ripped his left ear, pulled out some faraawi on his side, which tasted like puke, and slammed him hard about a dozen times while I scraped his belly with my back claws. He took off like he'd had his tail stomped by bašar, and I haven't seen him since."

My mouth must have been open because she pushed my jaw up and I caught the tip of my tongue. After I pulled myself together, I said, "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just remember what I said in about three weeks when I go nuts. Best thing to do when that happens is to move away and let me make the moves. You'll be safer and happier."

"One question?"

"Shoot."

"Did you have kiths?"

"Yeah. So what?"

Chapter 5

_I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink . tongue. "Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it." She looks up and gives me her full gaze. "Don't be ridiculous," she purrs, "I wrote it."_ Dilys Lai

"Just wondering. Where are they?"

"Who knows? Around. When I get tired of being sucked on and mauled every minute of the day and night, I run them off." She smiled at me probably because I was so awestruck at her story that I looked stupid. "I'm not like your maama, trapped with kiths. Here, we do or die. I hope they're doing okay, but life goes on."

By mid-afternoon we'd eaten all we needed, so Adele continued to teach me what she called tricks, the way to live the easy way on the street. "I want you to meet somebody" She walked, tail up, toward a building that looked ready to fall over, and you know where that is, old friend.

"Yup. Right here."

"Exactly."

"Oh." She stopped and turned to me. "Your name, Gaylord, is not going to work with Chubby, who thinks fixed toms are light on their paws."

"I told you I'm not a gib. I'm whole."

"I know, I know, but with Gaylord, Chubby might think you are. Do you understand what I'm saying?" She came straight at me and stared right in my eyes.

"No."

"Look, trust me?"

"What else can I do?"

"All right, let's rename you."

"You name me. You're the expert out here, so you do the honors."

"Geives."

"What?"

"Geives. That's your name."

"Where in the world did you come up with that? Geives. Sounds like an apology, or a sneeze."

"I knew a Geives," she said. "A really sweet tom who, I think, was my brother, although that's probably wishful thinking on my part. But, buried deep in my memory, I remember Geives."

"So, I come from a fog of your memory?"

"You are kind of foggy when I come to think about it. You're in a haze out here, Foggy. Get it? In a fog, a haze?" I must have gone blank because she cuffed me lightly on the chin and giggled. "Come on. If you don't like the name, we'll change it later, okay? We have to hurry, now, because Chubby leaves before Time of Owls."

I was Geives, now, trotting along behind pretty Adele who was scrambling my brain with her tricks. I admit I was green, Chubby, even in a haze much of the time. Living in a few cold rooms at a seminary had not made me an amait of the world, but she still pissed me off with her snobby attitude. She soon became the very love of my life, but she mocked me then as she led me around and tricked me out, as she put.

Sometimes I felt like I knew stuff already. It was like forgetting how to do something, but remembering very quickly when the situation presented itself. Grass, like I told you. I'd seen grass out a window, but how did I know to eat it? I told Adele about this and other things I just knew because I knew, but she was unimpressed. It was one of the few things I didn't like about her.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby yawned. "Everyone has faults, Gaylord, even you. Me? Well, perfection is hard to bear, but someone's gotta do it."

"Has anyone ever told you what a pain in the tail you are?"

"Many, many. To their great regret, of course." We chuckled at our jokes on each other as we crawled outside to get some air.

"Anyway, old Chubby, that's how we met, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember."

He looked toward the street and didn't say anything for a long time. A soft expression spread across his face, and I could tell he had departed the moment and was seeing Adele. He sighed and smiled. In a thickened voice, he said, "She called me the clowder's old wise raeed. Greatest alley fighter of all times, hunter of the best food like those tiny mice I'd find in burrows. She loved them so much." His eyes got shiny with tears. "She said I might be the father of over a million kiths." He turned to me, tears dribbling down his face. "That may be a low count." His smile didn't fit with his tears.

By this time I was crying, too. I managed to say, "Yeah, well, she touched a lot of us." I hugged him and he looked at me. "It's okay to remember her, Chubby, because that way she'll never really be gone."

We said nothing for several minutes, then ducked back under the shack and settled. As I looked at my friend, I realized Adele's loss had been harder on him than I thought. Chubby was an old amait when Adele met him, and she no doubt aroused feelings in him he'd forgotten. Maybe he felt he was too old to do anything about those feelings, so losing her began then. Now that she was dead, all he had of her was memories. I could understand that well; it's all I had of her, too.

I started to laugh.

"What's so funny," he said, his voice flat.

"Do you remember what a newbie I was?"

He chuckled. "It gushed outta every pore in your plump body."

"I was a new born kith. I remember she grudgingly defended me, saying I was doing all right, and I was smart, not painfully stupid like most house amai."

"She sure loved you, Gaylord. When you left she disappeared inside herself. She seldom visited me. I'd spot her now and then jumping in or out of a dumpster, but then she'd disappear. We were all baffled by her behavior because Adele was the most independent among us, and vibrant, charged with life. We never thought she'd latch on to anyone until you came along." He turned and looked straight at me. "What happened? Where'd you go? How could you leave someone as gorgeous, loving and bright as she was? Tell you, if I'd been younger, I'da been first, not you."

He smiled and stared at me with his single eye, the other milked over from blindness. It was a gift from a raccoon he'd foolishly challenged when he was young and more full of cockiness than brains. But even with one eye he could impale you with a glare.

"You really ate the raccoon that got you?"

"Every last morsel."

"I find that hard to believe: a whole raccoon?"

"Believe what you want."

He crawled out from under the building and stretched. In the growing light I saw he was still an imposing amait. When I met him I was impressed by his size, towering over Adele and me. Now in his twilight, he remained splendid.

Down one side from neck to the flank was a scar, which rippled through his faraawi like a snake. Across his eyes was the scar that took his eye.

One of his ears looked like fringe and he limped slightly, favoring his left side. But with all his battle scars and despite his age, he still looked capable of taking care of himself. His wild look, I'm positive, caused other amai that didn't know him to walk a wide circle instead of challenging him. Inside his ravaged body was trapped a robust, young tom.

"Hungry?" Chubby asked without looking at me.

"I could eat. More Smokey's?"

"Nah. Something almost as good. Come on."

I followed him about a block to a house set way back from the street.

"Wait here," he said, "I'll call you over when it's time."

He sauntered slowly to the house, jumped up with great effort to the banister and started a loud meow. Wasn't long until the door opened and a mollie bašar came out with a bowl of food. She reached out to Chubby, rubbed his back, fondled his ears and said something I couldn't hear.

She set the bowl on the porch and went inside. Chubby waited a minute, jumped down and started eating. After a couple of bites, he looked my way and gestured with a flick of his head that I should come over. I love rats and mice and birds, but it was scrumptious food, the kind I ate once: real meat with gravy. We took our time, ate slowly, talked, groomed, and then trotted back to his place.

"You're tired now, Old Tom," I said as I licked his face and ears.

"I'll give you about three days to quit that, but only three days." Chubby had a purr that rumbled.

"You want to rest for a while," I asked. "I could come back later."

"No. I'll be fine. I want to know where you went and why you broke Adele's heart. I'm old, Gaylord, and might die before you get back, or you might get killed crossing a street. Now is the time." He settled in his spot and waited.

I took care of a flea that gnawed near my bax, and then balled up facing Chubby with my tail wrapped around me.

"First, Chubby, old buddy, not disputing your word, I did break Adele's heart but I came back."

"You did, yes. But why'd you leave. She never talked about you after you left, didn't mentioned your name. When I mentioned it, she'd leave."

"I have to run through some history before I get to why I left and where I went. Have patience." I took a deep breath and set the picture in my mind. "I have to say it was your fault."

"What are talking about?"

"Hey, you're an awesome amait. I left that night wanting to be just like you. You were the first amait I'd met with a past that sounded more like a movie than real life."

"You've seen a movie?"

"Yeah. Friends and I snuck into a movie place a few times and watched. Funny stuff. Showed bašar whacking each other on the head, shooting each other, screaming and cussing. You think bašar really do that?"

"Probably, but that's not your point. I think it had to do with me, somehow."

"Well, it did. I admired you. Regarded you as a real amait, not pampered like I was, or soft like Adele."

"Hey, Adele wasn't soft. She coulda whipped you any time. And what's with the real amait business? Did that mean you were unreal?"

"Yeah, I was unreal. I was an amait, but I didn't know what that meant until I met you. Do you understand what I mean, Chubby?"

Both disgust and flattery tinged his voice. "I guess. Just keep talking."

"I know Adele was tough. I've already said that, but she was still soft in ways. Like for example, she couldn't hunt. She told me that. She hated mice, except those little ones you gave her, which, by the way, are delicious; I've had many. All Adele wanted was what she scrounged from dumpsters. I don't see you like that."

"I come from another generation. Adele was young, and she'd been a house amait and was exposed to things I didn't understand and didn't want to understand. I was born and raised here and I never wanted it any different."

"I understand. Anyway, getting back to why it was your fault I left, the night after Adele dropped my name, Gaylord, by accident, and you cracked up like some wacko, I told her the impression you made on me, and how I wanted to be a real amait, like you."

"I remember. She called you Geives." He licked between the toes of a paw. "Gaylord, I'm sorry I acted like a nitwit about your name, and I admit I'm tickled you wanna be like me, even though you're far more than I was. But all you thought about was you, Gaylord, and never thought of what you were doing to Adele." He sighed and laid his head on his paws.

"You're so right, Chubby. You're so very right. But let me finish my tale before you judge me."

Chapter 6

_I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets_. Kinky Friedman

The next few days were wild because Adele took me everywhere and introduced me to some fascinating amait, friends of hers, mostly, but I think a couple of the toms had been more.

There was Tarif who lived on top of what Adele said was an electrical box. You know Tarif. Never learned what that box was for, but above it was a platform that shielded him from the rain. Tarif was an orange tabby with short faraawi and a thin tail, skinny but muscular. Except for his face, which had lots of white hair, he seemed ageless. He spoke with a lisp.

After being introduced, I asked him, "Tarif, what do you do in winter? Aren't you cold up there?"

"Not too bad," he said. "This boxth ith warm. When it getths really cold, I thneak in with Adele."

"Sounds good to me. I'll start hoping for a brutal winter," I said. Adele cuffed me.

"Tarif got smashed by a garbage truck while you were gone," Chubby said.

"Aw! I'm sorry to hear that. He was a good guy."

"It happens."

Anyway, at a turn in the alley was a grate that led to a basement. Adele guided me into it, and called, "Hey, Treise, it's Adele. You here?"

Out of the shadows came a beautiful rust-colored queen followed by five lively kiths, all attempting to nurse her at once. She kept moving and pushing them away, and their yowling caused the air to vibrate.

"Treise, don't you have those little demons weaned yet?"

"They're the most stubborn bunch I ever had. Reminds me of their father who was always wanting to suck on something." She batted a tiny white and gray off. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Gaylord, and no smart remarks about his name."

"Which one? Gay or Lord?" Treise said and began to laugh.

"I'll bite your tail," Adele said.

"Okay, Gaylord." She dropped to the floor and immediately the kiths pounced on her and began to nurse, which she ignored because she was laughing so hard. Adele slipped over and bit her tail, which made Treise laugh even more.

"I am so happy to make your acquaintance and your day," I shouted over the din. "Happy are we who can convulse strangers with laughter."

"Sorry. It just hit me as funny, Gaylord." She laughed some more but soon stopped when she realized the kiths had latched on for dear life. "Get away," she yelled at them. "Get away!" She pushed them away, got up and ran. They followed, yowling at the tops of their lungs. "Forgive me, Gaylord. I didn't mean to be rude."

"It's okay," I said. "Chubby had a laugh about my name, too."

"Oh, you've met Chubby?"

"One of the first I introduced him to," Adele said.

"We're all in love with Chubby," Treise said, fighting off her kiths. "The toms respect him, but we adore him."

"Yeah, well, he is very impressive," I said.

"Listen, Treise, we're going. I have some others I want Gaylord to meet, and you've got your paws full. Later."

"Nice meeting you," I said.

"Me, too. I apologize again for my rudeness."

"Forget it," I said as Adele and I ducked out into the alley. "She's a character," I added when we got outside.

"She's one great queen. Does things with her kiths I would never do. I wean mine by just leaving them. I move to the other side of the neighborhood and let them fend for themselves."

"You don't teach them how to survive?"

"I'm a very bad maama." She sprinted off ahead of me.

Well, she was honest, a bad maama by admission, but honest. I was sure I didn't like her idea of being a maama, but her beauty and her personality made me feel warm all over and drew me to her. I vowed to have a conversation with her about it when time was right.

~ ~ ~ ~

"It's true she was not much of a maama," Chubby said. "But a mollie as beautiful as Adele didn't need a passel of kiths eating on her."

"Then why have them? Amai are judged on how well queens take care of their kiths. It was the one aspect of Adele's personality I hated."

"Go on. Let's not get in a fight."

I yawned and stretched, circled and flopped down.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Let's go down by the fountain," Adele said, turning back to look at me while she ran.

"The fountain?"

"Not far. It's in the rose garden." She slowed so I could catch up. "A big old fountain that sprays water and makes a delightful mist. Just enough to bathe in without getting soaked. Chad lives there."

"Chad?"

"Yeah, another friend. Weirdest amait you'll ever know."

"Why weird?"

"Wait and see."

I was stunned when we got to the fountain to see a splotchy amait swimming. Amai can swim, my maama told me, but only to avoid drowning. Evidently, this one swam because he liked it.

Adele perched on the rim of the fountain and called out, "Chad. It's Adele."

"Hello, gorgeous. Come on in. The water's delicious."

"No way, Water Rat. How 'bout you getting out? Got someone for you to meet."

"Be right there." He disappeared around the fountain. A moment later I heard him slopping and dripping his way toward us.

"Aren't you going to shake off?" Adele asked.

"And spoil a good soak? Why amai avoid water I will never understand."

"Chad, meet Gaylord, and one stupid remark about his name and I'll drown you."

"That means you'd have to jump in with me." He looked at me. "Gaylord, it's a pleasure." He pushed my head and licked my ear, and soaked my face.

Still astounded by an amait that liked to swim, I managed to mutter, "Uh, well, hi, how do?"

"Wet and loving it. But, I guess I'll shake to please Adele."

"Thanks," she said.

He walked away few paces and shook himself. Water flew everywhere, including on us. I began to lick myself dry, but Adele just sat and glowered at him.

After I dried, I asked, "You really like to swim?"

He stretched before walking back to us. "Oh, it's my passion. I used to be a house amait until I ran away, which is altogether too long a story, but my bašar had kids. They loved to swim, and one day when I was barely off my maama, they threw me into their pool. I thought my maama would die right there, until I swam to the side, jumped out and let her lick me dry. But I felt great. The feel of the water on my skin and faraawi turned me on. So, I jumped back in and paddled around as my maama yowled her head off. Spent the whole day in there playing with the kids and having the best time I could remember. Maama eventually calmed down and concluded she had a crazy son who liked to swim. End of story."

"Well, she was right; you are crazy," Adele said.

"I prefer eccentric."

"No. You got to be a pure blood to be eccentric. You're all alley, Chad, and you're crazy."

"Have it your way, Sweet Thing. Hey, when do you come in?"

"Three weeks. Why?'

"I wanna be first." He started licking her face and ears. "First, my ragdoll, before the other toms mess you up."

She pushed him away. "Forget it, Fish Brain. I wouldn't have your kiths for all the treasures in the world. They'd be water rats like you, and, I am not a ragdoll; I'm Abyssinian."

"You're a common tease," Chad said, "but I love you." He turned to me. "Gaylord. I like your name. Gaylord is a special name with bašar, you know?"

"I didn't know. What's so special?"

"Dunno. Just know it's special," He grinned.

"Yeah, well, Chubby almost split a gut when he heard it, and Treise almost crushed her kiths when she guffawed," I said.

Adele asked, "Hey, Chad, how do you know all this stuff about names and all?"

"I listened to bašar for hours. Mine were smart ones that loved amai and learned all about us. They'd actually talk to us about us, and I'd listen." He looked at Adele. "What'd you do, pretty amait? Eat, groom yourself, sleep and use the litter box?"

"I may hurt you real bad in a minute." She menaced him with an evil stare and a playful hiss.

"By the way, Chad, why'd you cut out if you had it so good?" I said.

"Kids grew up and didn't play as much. Got so everybody ignored me a lot. I got bored, felt trapped, so I split."

"I know a lot about that."

Without warning, Chad dove into the fountain and swam away. "You'll have to come in a get me, Adele."

"Drown, you crazy amait." Adele laughed. "Catch you later, Chad. Behave."

"Never!" He dove under the water and disappeared.

"Okay, how weird is that?" Adele asked.

"Very weird, but, you know, it sure looks tempting."

"You're beginning to worry me, Gaylord. Let's find some food." She darted off toward our alley with me scurrying after.

A dumpster provided us with some kind of meat all covered with salty gunk that I didn't like, but Adele lapped it up like water. After eating and washing, we crumpled down in the shadow of the dumpster and talked

Chapter 7

_Cats speak a subtle language in which few sounds carry many meanings, depending on how they are sung or purred. "Mnrhnh" means comfortable soft chairs. It also means fish. It means genial companionship . . .and the absence of dogs._ Val Schaffner

"So, Gaylord, what are your plans?"

"I don't have any plans. I like it out here a lot, but maybe that's because I'm with you."

"Don't go sloppy on me, now. Of course you like it out here with me. Even I like it out here with me. But I won't always be here."

I stopped bathing and looked at her. "Where you going? What are you talking about?"

"Don't get hair ball. I'm just saying that you never know. I might decide to leave and go somewhere else, or I might wind up flattened by a car or something. Happens all the time. You got to be able to take care of yourself, Gaylord. First and foremost, you got to take care of you." She pushed me with her nose.

I must have looked stunned because she smiled and we nuzzled.

"I know you're right," I said. "I just never thought of you not being here. I mean, I don't own you, but I never . . ." I walked into the park that surrounded the fountain and sprawled under a bush, whipping my tail. Adele followed.

"Hey, take it easy. Nothing's gonna happen right away." It's that I've been here for a while and I know what to expect. An amait's life ain't easy out here, you know."

"I might just go home."

She flinched away and growled. "You idiot. Gaylord, that's madness." She stopped and sighed. "Look, if I promise to do all I can to stick around, will you promise not to go back to that awful trap? I was kidding about going to the cemetery."

I kissed her. "Seminary. Okay, I promise."

"Yeah, well, you haven't had the pleasure of seeing me through my time of the month. You'll probably want to leave then for sure."

"Time of the month?"

"Come on Gaylord. How naïve can you be. I already told you when I come into my heat, I'd mate with a Rottweiler if he wouldn't eat me after."

"Oh, that." It occurred to me that I was a kith, out here running around with amai way older'n me, especially Adele and Chubby. "You get really bad, huh?"

"Like I said, if I tell you to scram, do it. Do not think about it, do it. Run like hell and wait for me to find you. Go to Chubby. He'll know what to do."

"After he gets finished laughing himself to death."

"That too, but I'm not kidding." Standing up she pushed a paw under my chin and flipped my head back. "Take me seriously, Gaylord. I cannot be responsible if you don't"

"Okay, okay."

Again, I was ticked off because she made such a big deal out me being so clueless and dense. I couldn't help it if I'd been in an apartment all my life with only my maama and sister to talk to. Talking to them was like talking with a chew toy; they walked around and purred, but that was about all. Then, I wondered, how come they didn't go nuts, too. So I asked her.

"They were probably fixed."

"Oh. I never thought of that."

She sighed and gave me an I-pity-you look. "I hate to break it to you, Gaylord, but toms are of limited use."

~ ~ ~ ~

We smelled them before they jumped us. Thain, like sack of khara tossed from the dumpster, pounced on us growling, yellow eyes blazing, faraawi blown up like a thistle, mouth open ready for combat. Raeed was a dark cloud that fell on us like a bucket of vomit, his face warped with rage.

Adele instantly swelled and geared up for a fight. I swelled up, too, but didn't have a clue what I should do next. So, I bared my teeth and hissed.

"Told you I'd be back," Thain screamed.

Adele screamed back, "Yeah, you pile of puke, with Raeed to do your fighting. Why don't you try me yourself? I'll be the very last thing you try."

Raeed, his eyes like headlights and muscles that rippled over his entire scared body, lashed his thin tail and laughed like a demented kilaab. He yelled at us both but focused on Adele. "What fun would that be for me? I gonna rip you to little pieces, Adele, and throw 'em all over town. Little piece of Adele here, nuther piece there, and one for me and one for Thain." He cackled and screamed. "Wait! We ain't gonna have no room for Adele's little pieces. I forgot. Cuz, Thain and me gonna eat your mouse hearted friend, here. Right Thain?"

"You betcha." He glared at me. "He looks so nice and sweet and fat, hey, like the spoiled house amait he is."

For the first time in my short life, I felt deep hatred for something, but I was so scared I shook.

Raeed sat down and grinned at Adele. She strolled toward him, grinning, also, but she never took her eyes of him. She sat down right in front of him and touched her nose to his. Raeed stopped grinning and watched her. Like a flash of lightning, she grabbed his muzzle up to his eyes and—I do not to this day know how she did it, Chubby—flipped that sack of garbage over and back-clawed his throat until I thought she was going to rip it open. Thain froze and gawked. His mouth clamped, Raeed couldn't make a sound. He gurgled like he was choked. Finally, he managed to wrench his face out of her grip and ran, instantly becoming a dot in the distance. I caught a glimpse of his face when he whizzed by me, and it resembled a mass of bloody worms, and his throat was bleeding. She turned on Thain. He disappeared as quick as the lightning's flash.

Adele looked at me and smiled, then sat and very calmly washed her face. "That's how you do it, My Love, if you want to survive out here."

I was so stunned I had no voice.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Chubby, you know I've become a rather good fighter since I've been out here, but Adele was terrifying."

"No amait in his right mind ever wanted to tangle with Adele, I assure you." Chubby looked off a moment watching memories. "I taught her, Gaylord. I taught her that trick: be calm, take things easy, and then attack fast and without mercy. You know that now, of course, but Adele, remember, was once as green as you were. So, I became her fight trainer, and from what you saw, she was a very good student."

"That's for sure. Never on my best day would I contend with her. You did an excellent job, Old Teacher.

Chubby grinned and looked at me. "Let's get something to eat."

"Fine with me. Where to this time? Back to Smokey's or the mollie bašar?"

"Neither. I'll take you to a bašar food store and we'll hang around the back. There's a bašar named Clyde who loves amai and gives us fresh fish. Ever eat fresh fish?" I shook my head. "Sweet like sugar. Nothing like it."

Clyde was there, we got fresh fish and Chubby was right: almost too sweet but so delicious. We napped for a while when we got back to the shack. When End of Light came, I continued my story.

~ ~ ~ ~

For the next few days I thought a lot about what Adele had said concerning taking care of myself first, especially after the fight with Raeed and Thain. Caring for myself had never been a problem because I was fed regularly, slept anytime and anywhere I wanted, got brushed and pampered. I was a house amait, a pet.

But I always had the urge to be something more. Talking to my maama never helped; she was either passed out from drinking too much nibiit or just not interested. So I dreamed. I pretended to be a sleek jungle amait stalking prey. Ned and Harriet watched TV shows that showed our magnificent cousins in jungles running down animals, killing them and eating them. I wanted to be a lion or tiger.

Sometimes I'd act like a clown, jumping around with my tail arched and my faraawi puffed out in mock attack. I'd charge Ned or Harriet in the hallway and go after them sideways, then dart away in a flash when they tried to get me. Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I knew I wanted to be something more than I was. Escaping gave me opportunity, but I was totally stupid about how to do it. I didn't have goals, just dreams.

Wanting to do something was okay, but you have to take steps to do it. I couldn't lay around waiting for it, whatever it was, to come to me or have it brought to me by someone else. But that's how I'd lived, spoiled rotten. I wasn't an amait. I was some idea of an amait that Ned and Harriet wanted me to be.

The worst thing was, I began to see myself as they saw me: soft, flabby, compliant and docile, like my maama and sister. After Adele said they might be fixed, I shuddered to think that I could have been fixed, too. I needed a goal. I needed to make a decision about my future and stick to it, no matter what. From what I learned about lions and tigers on TV, to be a real amait was to be a killer.

~ ~ ~ ~

I looked at Chubby. "Following you and Adele around wasn't any good because all you guys were teaching me was how to scrounge. You don't kill to eat; you nose around in garbage until you find something prepared."

Chubby bristled. "Hey, when you get to be my age, hunting's not easy. I get food where I can and the easiest way. Why do it the hard way, especially when you don't have much energy?" He looked away from me and I could tell he was angry with where I was taking this.

"You're like a house amait depending on bašar for survival."

"Wait just a minute, Whippersnapper. I depend on me, Chubby, the aged patriarch of this clowder. I will never be a pet, getting handouts, even though it might be cushy. You're still captured in your mind."

"Yeah, you're right, Chubby. That lonely mollie bašar whose food you gobble like a kilaab is nothing, right? Huh? What did you say? Can't hear you." I laughed but saw Chubby rise and start to puff up, and eye me with that cold stare he was famous for.

"Settle down Chubby. I saw you gobble it down. I gobbled it, too. What it says is, we too often convince ourselves to depend on bašar for everything we need, even here on the street. They're push-overs and we know it, and we use them, and lose what we are, amai, born hunters and killers."

"You're carrying this too far," He began to pace. "I don't depend on it, okay? I can still hunt. I'm a damned good hunter. Ask anyone here. Chubby can take a mouse or rat like it was struck by lightning. But why? It's right here for the taking. Doesn't make me weak. Just makes me . . . lazy, okay?"

"Chubby, I watched amai, including me and Adele, grubbing around in bašar garbage, and it makes me really sad. We're built to kill, not crawl around in their leftovers, getting filthy and reeking from their slop. Our heads are like wedges to break through weeds and stuff with ease. We can flatten our bodies and slither like snakes toward prey; our teeth are little needles, and our raspy tongues can lap meat from bones like water. With eyes that see in the dark and with razor claws that renew themselves, we are made to hunt and kill."

"Have it your way," He laid down and became a ball of faraawi again, continued to stare at me. "All I'm saying, Gaylord, is if it's right in front of you, why sweat? That's all I'm going to say." He licked his lips and made his eyes slits."

"I said all this to Adele too." He didn't answer.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Gaylord, have you ever eaten a mouse?" Adele asked. "You're right, we are made to hunt and kill, but when have you ever had to? Didn't your maama tell that because we're not wild anymore we don't have to hunt? I don't know how to hunt. My maama was taken from me just after she taught me how to clean myself; she never got to hunting. I don't know if she knew how. But so what? Back to my original question, have you ever tasted a mouse?"

"No."

"It's disgusting. When I first hit the street, a sweet old mollie used to bring them to me, still wiggling and squealing. To practice killing, she told me. I was to kill them and eat them. I balked, so she killed them and opened them so I could eat. I puked each time, and all she did was laugh, and kill and bring me more mice."

"What'd they taste like?"

"Old metal. Go over there to that rainspout and take a lick. That's what they taste like. And the guts are bloody and oozing, and the heads, which this old mollie said was the best part, were like eating rocks. I never understood her love for them.

"She ate bugs, too. Just sniffing a roach, her favorite, was enough to put me away. That's when I met Chubby. He said there was a better way if I wanted to move uptown, where I learned the art of the scrounge."

"Okay, but that just fills your belly. It doesn't make you an amait."

"Please don't get philosophical on me. I've heard all that khara a thousand times from amai who swear that hunting wild and eating wild is the only way to go. Well, it isn't, trust me."

That night over a basket of fish bones and rice, I told her my plan. "I'm gonna try it. I'm sorry, but I need to find me, what I am, who I am. Besides, this isn't filling me." I pushed the basket toward her. "No to the fish bones, and I hate rice."

"So, go find something else."

"Can you hook me up with some amai, what do you call them?"

"Alley amai. That's because they live in alleys, like we do. We're alleys. But the amai you want are completely wild, never been house amai, born in the street. They hunt rats and mice under the buildings, and they live on them. You'll be filthy all the time and . . ."

"I get filthy and slimy digging in dumpsters."

Ignoring me, she went on, "You'll stink of mouse blood. If you go, don't come looking for me." She got up and walked a short distance before turning toward me. "Gaylord, you got a good life here, a safe life. You got friends, half decent places to sleep, and eventually, you'll probably get me. But, if you go to the wild ones, you'll cross a line that will be very hard to re-cross."

"I've got to try." I started washing my face.

"No matter how you scrub, mouse stink never goes away. Think about it."

~ ~ ~ ~

That's when she urged me to talk to you, Chubby.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because you'd have intimidated me with horror stories."

"Maybe, maybe not. I sort of admire your need to find yourself. I don't think it was necessary, but I do admire your courage, because it did take guts to strike out without a brain in your head." He smiled.

"Thanks a lot."

"Don't mention it."

~ ~ ~ ~

"I appreciate your concern, Adele, and I respect your experience and Chubby's, but I have to find answers myself. Maybe I'll quit before I begin. Maybe I'm too soft. I don't know. All I am sure of is my stupidity, which you remind me of all the time by cutting me down. I want to cure that if possible, so you'll be proud of me. Besides, I stink of rotten meat, fish, rancid butter, coffee—you name it. So what's the difference?"

"I can be proud of you here, Gaylord. I think you have the stuff to be a great alley amait without all that tiraan khara about finding yourself. Find yourself here."

"Sorry, Adele, but I have to try."

She looked at me for a long time, and then meowed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're a stranger to me and I can't see an amait in you any more. So, I greet you as we do them."

I was pissed. "Maybe I'll be more amait than you are." I hissed at her.

"I see a loser." She flatted her ears, dropped to a crouch and hissed back. "Don't ever threaten me, Gaylord, or I'll shred you alive."

"Go to hell." I screamed at her and ran away.

I didn't know where to go, but I wanted to get away from her and her insulting meowing. I headed for the street. If I was going to do it, I had to take the first step. I didn't need Adele or you, Chubby; I'd take my lumps on my own.

Chapter 8

_The city of cats and the city of men exist one inside the other, but they are not the same city_. Italo Calvino

I ran south until I got to a bunch of apartment buildings. Adele took me there one Time of Owls to look at the lake but told me to stay away from the alleys behind the apartments because some tough amai roamed there. Of course, that's exactly where I needed to be.

Stepping into the alley caused me to bristle like something crazed. It was the first time I'd been totally alone since escaping, and I was terrified. The alley reminded me of the hallway at Ned and Harriet's apartment except there was no ceiling, just a deep black sky without stars. Both sides were lined with apartment buildings that seemed to go up forever. I'd never seen such tall buildings.

Yellow light beamed from street lamps dotting the edges of the alley and gave off shadows that made it look like chunks had been cut from the sides of the buildings, some looking like they'd been chopped in two.

Bašar voices blasted my ears. Some were just talking and laughing. Others were angry shouts and screams, like when Ned and Harriet argued. It always seemed odd to me how they tangled together in bed like well-fed kiths but later screamed and yelled at each other. But, I guess we do that, too, don't we?

As I trotted down the alley I heard kids crying and kalb barking and the sound of glass smashing. I looked up and saw black staircases like skeletons crawling up the sides of the buildings and heads of amai looking down on me. I wondered if they were wild or housies. Suddenly, a car roared down the alley and missed me by a whisker. What is it about me and cars, Chubby?

Opening my mouth slightly, I tasted smells from all kinds of things: bašar, kilaab, hot asphalt, grass, and, surprise-surprise, garbage. But it smelled better than Adele's alley, and when I hopped on a dumpster, I saw the lid was closed. Scratch that, I thought. I jumped down and continued walking.

I kept to the shadows and stayed low to the bases of buildings. Despite the loud sounds coming all around me, I picked up scratching and squeaking from cracks here and there where the buildings met the street, openings just big enough for an amait to squeeze through. I sniffed into one. Adele's description of old metal attacked my nose.

When I pushed my head in, I saw the outline of a huge amait come down on a rat almost his size. In an instant, the rat's head disappeared in the amait's mouth and stopped moving. I couldn't tell if it was a tom or a mollie, but it looked at me, flattened its ears and growled a warning. Blood oozed from its mouth. I pulled my head out, raced to the nearest dumpster, jumped on top, flattened, moved slowly to the rim and watched as the big amait crawled out of the crack and strolled to the center of the alley, the rat dangling from his mouth.

In the low yellow streetlight I could see it was a huge, gray tom. He dropped the rat and crouched over it. Holding it with one paw, he ripped its belly open with a snip of his teeth and a quick tear with his claws. I saw the guts roll out and watched him lap them up as he purred like a new car.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Yup, those were the days, all right," Chubby said, chuckling. "I was raised on rats and mice, and there's nothing, nothing at all, like a warm, juicy kill. Mmmm!"

"So, why don't you indulge now?"

"Old. We've talked about that. No use going over it again. Continue, please."

I almost puked remembering what Adele told me about the taste of mice, and I guessed rats would be the same. And watching the guts pour out and watching him lap them up . . . yuk! But, I knew I was watching my teacher. If I made friends with him, I'd learn to hunt and kill. I watched him slurp down the entire rat, and then wash his face.

Jumping to the top of a trashcan below me and then to the ground, I kept an eye on him as he continued to wash. I slipped around the corner of the dumpster,

Here goes either my fortune or my death, I thought. I pranced out cheerfully, hoping to catch him off guard. I might not die if he thought I was bonkers. Then, again, maybe not.

His ears flattened, a growl rumbled from deep down, he hissed, and then dropped to fight position. I didn't know what to do, so I sank to the ground, rolled on my back, made with a sad look and purred. It worked. His ears came up and he stopped growling although the fighting stance remained.

"Eih axbār," I said, still on my back.

He stood and stared at me. "Who are you?" he said, his voice croaky. "You the one Mutt told me about?"

"Mutt? I don't know a Mutt."

"Never mind. Who are you, what do you want, I don't like other amai in my territory, so you better run like hell." He flattened his ears again, growled and tightened his fighting position.

"Hold it. I don't want to invade your territory. I need a teacher."

~ ~ ~ ~

"Okay, Chubby, what's so funny now? You're coming apart like a cheap toy."

He rolled on his back and gut laughed until I thought he was going to pass out.

"Okay, let me in on it, you old fart."

His words popped to the surface like bubbles in water. "You really said you needed a teacher?" Laughter grabbed him again.

"Yeah. So, what should I have asked him?"

"It's a wonder he didn't eat you. Gaylord, you're priceless. An amait like no other: all guts and no brains."

I was disgusted. "I gotta dig a hole. I am so thrilled to give you a reason to crack up."

"Please hurry. I can't wait to know what this wild amait did next."

I went out and took a beh yeh. He was still laughing when I got back, so I sighed and laid down. "Say, don't we know a tom who took on a raccoon? With all guts and no brains?"

"I ate that raccoon. Tell me you ate the wild amait and we'll be even."

~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, this wild amait, as you call him, stopped snarling and stood up and looked at me a long time, frowning.

"You're wacko, right? You're from one of those fancy apartments and you got out and now you're scared khara-less, right? I've seen it over and over, but if you scram right now, I won't tear you to pieces. Dig?" He continued staring at me, but I couldn't say anything. Suddenly, he ballooned up twice his size and hissed so hard in my face that I felt it ripple. "I said scram, Kith Brain!"

I cringed and almost puked from his breath, but I found my voice. "I'm not crazy and I'm not from around here, but you're right, I am scared, khara-less, whatever that means, and I am a kith brain. I need someone to teach me to hunt and kill, and when I watched you from that dumpster over there, I knew you were the one I wanted. Good job, by the way. I mean that rat." I was shaking like a kilaab passing scrap iron, but I continued to lay there and carry on the bluff.

"Your maama didn't teach you?" He sat again and looked puzzled.

"No. I was imprisoned from birth and only escaped a short while ago."

"Aw, man. A stupid, pampered, soft-as-khara house amait" He frowned and growled again. "I hate your kind worst of all. Snobbish, lookin' down your nose—you're all alike. Now scram while I'm not hungry and in a good mood."

"All I want is for you to teach me how to hunt and kill. I'll leave as soon as you do."

He started toward me. "Go back to your dry food, your canned meat that looks like the khara it'll become and stinks worse. Guys like you'll never have the guts for what we do. Git!"

I was paralyzed. If he was going to kill me, I'd have to lay there and . . . die. He loomed over me. I smelled his breath again, like old metal, like rats, and I looked at his matted gray faraawi that stunk like his breath. Scars like yours, Chubby, lined his face, and his right shoulder had a big plug of skin ripped out. He stood for a long time breathing on me and growling. Suddenly, he laughed and sprawled on his side. "You ain't afraid, are you? You are nuts, a friggin' wacko staring at a'maar. What's your name?"

"Gaylord."

He lurched back and eyed me carefully. "Gaylord? Now I know you're nuts and you're lyin'. Gaylord is not an amait name. Is that what your owners called you?"

"Amai are not owned," I heard myself say in a flat voice.

"You're so stupid. Some of you kith brains even wear collars. I seen your kind sashaying along the street or being carried in some kind of basket. Fat, spoiled, coddled—you disgust me."

"I never asked to be spoiled or coddled, and I don't think I'm fat." I didn't know where I was getting the sass, Chubby, but it didn't impress him. "Listen. What's your name, by the way?"

"None of your damned business." He licked between the toes of a paw. "Fergus."

"Fergus?"

"Yeah, my maama was a Lap, but my old man was part serval and I got his ears." He smiled, looked away a moment, watching a memory, then said, "Now, there was a tough alley amait, my father. Saw him bite into a cop once and live to tell about it."

I gaped a moment because I was getting my head around an amait biting a cop, or any bašar, for that matter.

"Okay, listen, Fergus, I think I could be a real amait if you'd teach me. You can kill me, sure, and you'll find it easy. But think what a reputation you'd have if you'd turn a soft-as-khara house amait into a real alley amait and real fighter and killer. Huh? What would your friends say then?" I felt I had to keep the baloney flowing or die.

"I don't have any friends." He frowned an washed his toes again. "Well, maybe Mutt."

"Okay, who's Mutt?"

"None of your business."

He looked at me again and I could tell he was deciding whether to rip my throat out or beat the life out of me with his paws. "You got guts, Pretty Tom, so I'm taking you on. One week from now, you learn what I know, or you become a lot of dried faraawi in the gutter. Deal?" It was the only deal I had, so I went for it. "But we can't tell the amai around here your name's Gaylord. You must have an amait name. What'd your maama call you?"

"Nebibi, after some wild amait that lived in the woods." I thanked my soused maama as I said it.

"Not much better'n Gaylord, but okay, Nebibi. Just so you don't go honkin' me off or you'll really be in the woods . . . dead.''

He hissed in my face again, but this time the whiff I got of his breath wasn't as bad. Maybe I was used to it already. "I get it, Fergus. I get it."

I hoped I could make it because I found out this ragged tom had a messed up mind, twisted and disturbed. That's why he was the best teacher I could have found.

Chapter 9

_I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days._ Bill Dana

Tuyuur Song broke when we settled onto chair cushions on the porch of an apartment.

Fergus said, "I sleep around a lot because I don't want some hare-brained bašar to grab me and try to make a pet outta me, or kill me because he hates amai,"

He took a quick bath, but it didn't seem to help either his appearance or smell. He was gray with white around his face and chest. His faraawi was curly, and he had a splash of orange between his yellow eyes. His muscles rippled along his lean body, but he was beat up, like I said. And, his ears were huge, just a little smaller than araanib ears. They made him look surprised all the time.

Mumbling through a yawn, he said, "This is the best place to sleep during the day because they don't seem to care. Never come out; never chase me, nothing. So I'm here a lot. Make yourself cozy, Sweet Cakes, and sleep. We'll visit Mutt tonight, and it'll be party time. With Mutt it's always party time." He laughed and yawned again. "It'll be lesson one." He was asleep before his mouth closed.

I was really burnt, but my mind raced. Pretending to sleep, I mulled over again what I had done and I was pretty proud of myself. I couldn't wait to tell you and Adele. But, then I remembered Adele saying never to come back and I got furious. Who the hell was she, anyway, I thought.

She didn't make sense. She told me to learn how to make it on my own because she might not be there in the future. So when I said I wanted to be a real amait, to hunt and kill my food, she said, no. What? I have to do it her way, or it's a meow, an insult and goodbye? I decided right then I would go back to see her and show her I was no . . . what did Fergus call me? . . . a kith brain. I might even whip up on her to bring the point home, but, of course, knew, even if I could, I'd ever fight her.

The sun got higher and hotter, I dozed. Then right before Time of Owls I felt Fergus' warty tongue slather across my face, leaving a trail of stinking spit.

"Up and at 'em. We got places to go." He stretched, yawned and blinked his eyes. I felt better; he'd accepted me, maybe.

I did a quick swipe of my face and followed. It was cool, but the sky was broken up in red and blue that changed fast as the End of Light settled in. Fergus led me across a park and down to the shore of a lake where he drank and took a whiz. I did the same.

Fergus looked my way. "Ever wonder how much amait beh yeh been left here? I'll bet enough to fill that lake."

"No, I've never thought about it." I said. "You must be a philosopher."

"Where'd you pick up that word?"

"From the bašar I lived with at a university."

He wrinkled his nose. "Look, Nebibi, don't try to impress me with fancy bašar words, okay. I don't know what a university is and I don't care. What was that you called me?"

"A philosopher. Someone with great ideas, I think."

"Well, just keep it to yourself. I'm an alley amait, that's all. And, so are you right now, I might add. Keep it simple."

I smiled and ran after him as he took off down the beach.

Mutt lived in a grove of bushes near the shore. Fergus chirped and Mutt appeared. He was a scruffy, battered tom with odd eyes, one yellow and one blue-white. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or signaling.

His chest and front legs were white with gray and orange splotches across his back and down his tail, which was sort of short and thick. His back legs were white, too, as was most of his face except for more orange and gray splotches on his ears and the top of his head. Like Fergus and you, Chubby, his face was crossed with scars along with his slim muscular body where the scars tangled like tree branches.

When I got to know him, I found out he was very bright and very disturbed. Whenever we saw a bašar, maybe walking along the park or lounging on the grass, Mutt would go into his deranged act. With his eyes blinking, he gave out this nose purr that sounded like twigs snapping, or like he was clearing his throat and gagging. He'd go up to them, stagger a bit and pretend to be friendly and sweet, rubbing against their legs and scent marking with his jaw. Of course, pushovers as they are, they'd fall for it, pet him and always find something to feed him. In the end he'd take off like a streak, laughing and cackling. He was loony, but funny; I liked him right off.

But there was something sad about him, too, because offbeat types like him, as you know, are considered unusual by us and rare by bašar, like they are royalty. I wondered why he was on the street. He'd been abandoned, was my guess, or had gotten lost, and it had made him crazy. I planned to ask Fergus later.

But that first night I was a student, and Fergus and Mutt were my teachers. We went into Fergus' territory, the alley where I'd met him, and did a rat apiece, as they put it. Do a rat. That was their lingo for pulling something off, like pull off doing a rat. Okay, I don't know what it means, but we went and did a rat. Killed one. Ate it. Dig?

~ ~ ~ ~

"Go ahead, laugh, Chubby. I'm used to it."

"You are so funny. You picked up all that mumbo-jumbo from them, right?"

"Right. I'm a street amait, now, so I need to talk like one."

"Oh, brother! By the way, I do know how to do a rat. Who do you think you're talking to?"

~ ~ ~ ~

Mutt pulled me aside before we went in. "Now listen, Tenderfoot, rats are dangerous, mean, strong, and their bite can make you so sick you wanna die. They got these long front teeth like knives, so don't ever corner one, or it'll chew you to pieces. They're scared of us, but they ain't cowards. Okay?" Mutt, the coach, was wound up. "And they got hearing almost as good as us, so you gotta be even quieter than you usually are. Their noses are okay but nothing to brag about. We can smell a rat and know it's a rat. But they just smell stuff. So, we smell like rats purposely so they can't sniff us out. Bet you wondered about that: why Fergus and me smell like rats. Huh?"

"Yeah, well, it crossed my mind, and my nose. You guys are disgusting. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, that's good," Fergus said. "The more we stink like rats, the more they can't find us. They don't see too good, either."

"Let's go," Mutt whispered.

Squeezing through an opening where two bricks were missing, my eyes adjusted immediately, and I could see shadows darting around like balls. I love chasing balls, so I started for one. Mutt's big paw landed on my neck and pushed me down.

"Wait for them to come to you," he murmured in my ear. "Grab the head and bite hard. Take 'em like you do a mouse only clamp down as hard as you can so's you can kill 'em quick." I was glad he told me because I'd never done a mouse.

Twisting and squirming on his belly, Fergus slithered across the floor behind a jar that lay on its side where he became a statue. Mutt kept close to me, but we turned just so our rumps were touching, making a v-trap. We waited. All we could hear was soft shuffling of the shadowy balls that scampered all around.

No sound came from Fergus, but we saw him move quickly toward the hole to the outside, and we could see the rat dangling from his mouth. My mouth dropped open. He was good.

When I looked back, Mutt was gone and I was staring straight into the face of the biggest rat I'd ever seen; actually, the first rat I'd seen eyeball to eyeball. Like slow motion in a dream, I snapped the rat's head in my mouth and bit with all I could. Blood spewed into my mouth and gagged me, but I swallowed and started out. I hate it when she's right, but Adele had described the taste on the mark: it was like licking a rusty drainpipe.

Just as I jumped through the opening, Mutt bolted out with his catch. We ran to the side of a dumpster and dropped our kills on the ground.

Fergus gave me a firm lick on the ear, and said, "Good work, Blue Bells. You might make it out of here alive after all. Shall we dine?"

As I'd seen him do the night before, Fergus held the rat down and ripped the belly open with his teeth. Mutt did the same. Watching them lap the guts did not inspire me to do the same.

"Hey. You gonna eat?" Mutt asked, his mouth stuffed with bloody rat meat. "What's wrong?"

Fergus answered, "The kid's never ate a rat before, have you Kid?" He looked at me and smiled, bloody juices running out the sides of his mouth. "Here, lemme help." He slid over and took my rat. "Okay, paw on the rat's head. Go ahead." I did as he said. "Now, right under the chin here is a flap of skin. Grab it in your front teeth. I usually hook a fang in it so's it won't slip, then pull. Opens right up. Go ahead."

I took the flap in my teeth and pulled, and like he said, it opened up. Gushed out is better. Or, maybe exploded is even better because the gory splash went up my nose and over my face. Talk about the smell of rust; it was horrible. I ran to the middle of the alley and puked like I had a hairball the size of my head. I dry-heaved until my eyes watered and my nose ran. Mutt and Fergus laughed so hard they screamed.

When he could, Fergus yelled, "It's an acquired taste, Sweet Thing. You'll get use to it." They returned to laughing while I washed my face furiously and had to taste that muck each time I wet my paws.

"Eat really fast, kid," Mutt said. "Just get the food inside. We don't much like the taste either, but it keeps us alive. So, don't take time to taste, just gulp."

~ ~ ~ ~

"They were right about it being an acquired taste," Chubby said. "Hold on. I gotta beh yeh."

While I waited, I thought of Adele and how she hated the smell of rat on me when I came back, but I hope she admired me for learning what I learned.

"Beh yeh is one of the joys of life," Chubby said when he came back. "Agree?"

I smiled at him. "Agreed, Old Amait."

~ ~ ~ ~

I squatted and watched my new buddies share my rat that night. The next night we went back to the same place, we all got rats again and since I was starving, I followed their lead and ate. Mutt was right about eating fast. It was still sickening, but I figured it was what I'd come out here for and I needed to suck it up and learn, even though sucking it made me puke.

By the end of the week I was doing pretty good. Before long, I got used to the taste and stopped gagging. And, it was all we ate. I didn't wanna starve. Even though I hated how I smelled, Mutt was right that rats couldn't tell us from themselves, making it easy to grab one. I never liked the heads, though. I gave them to Fergus and Mutt. They were way too boney and rat brains still make me sick to think about them.

"I pretty much take back what I said about you when we met," Fergus said one night after we'd dined, his word not mine. "I mean, you're still a pampered housie, but you did all right. How about staying for a while? There's more to eat around here besides rats and mice."

"You've never done a mouse for me," I said.

"Just like rats," Mutt said, "only smaller, fatter and mushy. Takes more'n one, too. Usually I can eat three unless I'm really hungry and eat five."

"You need a tuyuur," Fergus said.

We were hanging around Mutt's bush at Tuyuur Song one day, listening to four squirrels screaming at each other and watching tuyuurs flit around.

"You can catch a tuyuur?" I said.

"Nothin' to it," Fergus said without opening his eyes and with his head on his outstretched paws. "Let's get some shut eye, and we'll show you how. Okay?"

It was well near Time of Owls when we woke up.

"Bast, I'm crisp," I said.

Mutt's eyes were winking and blinking, but Fergus was all stretch and yawn.

"Hot's a good thing," Mutt mumbled.

"Let's go," I said. "We get a tuyuur tonight, right?"

"Right," Mutt said and yawned. "Let's go to the place bašar loaf around and feed the tuyuurs. It's a hot night and there'll be a lot of 'em. One thing, though, Nebibi, we can't let bašar see us kill tuyuurs. They like tuyuurs and think we're doing murder or something. So, when we get over there, move like a ghost and wait for a tuyuur to come to you. When you snatch it, run like hell because the bašar will chase you, throw rocks, and make you drop the tuyuur. Okay?"

Mutt explained the procedure while we bounced like three arnab over the grass to the lake. "It's sort of like doing rats. You kill 'em right away. Seize by the back of the neck and clamp down hard. They'll die quick. But stay down, flat, like this." He flattened out and shoved himself deep in the grass.

"Tuyuurs are smart," Fergus said as he stood beside me and watched Mutt slither through the grass, his tail switching in long, slow waves. "Watch him move. See, he's like a snake, stopping and starting but never in a hurry. Listen, Kid, tuyuurs can smell you very well, and they can see long distances and hear very well. Not as good as us, for sure, but their hearing is great. The trick is not to spook 'em. They look around a lot, and if something changes quick, they're gone. So you got to go real slow and never change the way you sneak up because they get used to you doing what Mutt's doing and they'll ignore you until you're close enough to pounce. Understand?"

"Can I watch you first? It seems complicated."

"Sure," Fergus said. "Hey, Mutt, you get the first one and we'll watch. Then I'll go."

Mutt agreed, and we crawled as close as we dared to the bench where bašar sat and tossed bits of bread, seeds, and crumbs to a lotta tuyuurs scampering around in front of them. Actually, by End of Light, bašar were thick around there: walking on the beach, swimming, sitting, laying down and sleeping. They were all over the place, getting in our way and being general pains in the tail. A few of them had kalb tied to leashes, mostly small, nervous kalb that barked at anything, including themselves. Adele was right about that.

We dropped down behind a slab of rock, close enough to see but not be seen, which Fergus said would cause them to run us off.

"Tuyuurs spook easy," Fergus whispered. "Eventually, someone'll throw something in a different way and the tuyuurs will fly and sit in a tree or something to make sure everything is okay, then slowly move back close for the food. Let's wait back here and watch Mutt."

We drew back and hunkered down. Mutt disappeared in the grass and began his move. All Fergus and I could see was the end of his twitching tail and the grass moving around him.

Fergus was right. An old lady tossed something hard so it went over the tuyuurs and landed a few feet away. Amid loud flapping and shrieks, the tuyuurs rose like one huge cloud, disappearing in the trees. For a moment we saw no tuyuurs. Mutt froze. Then one came back and landed far off from the bašar, who started to throw stuff again. Like magic, all the tuyuurs returned, walked around making fluttery sounds and pecking up the food.

Mutt remained motionless, but he chattered softly and moved his jaws as if he were shivering.

"He's practicing his killing bite," Fergus whispered close to my ear.

I kept my eyes on Mutt and whispered back, "Very cool. Will I do that, too?"

"Yup."

Near to him a large tuyuur landed, walked around and made fluttery sounds almost like a purr. Mutt rose up behind the tuyuur like a dark flash, clamped it between his front claws, sank his teeth into its neck, and then ran like the wind, the limp tuyuur flopping awkwardly beneath his belly.

"Beautiful," Fergus whispered. "He is so fast."

I was flabbergasted. I'd never seen an amait move like Mutt, and it excited me.

"I want to do that," I said to Fergus.

"Okay, watch me and then you go."

Fergus sank into the grass and glided away. I looked over to where bašar sat throwing stuff at the tuyuurs. None of them had seen Mutt when he got his tuyuur, so Fergus moved to about where Mutt had been and froze. Later, the flock spooked again and flew away, only to return and toddle toward the bašar.

I never saw Fergus move until he whipped past me with a tuyuur flopping from his mouth. Again, no one saw him.

My turn. I waited until the flock was busy pecking away, then I followed my teachers' example. Like with my first rat, I reacted without thinking. Before I realized it, I was running with a small tuyuur clutched in my mouth, blood trickling down my throat.

"Look out," Mutt screamed. "They let a kilaab loose on you."

I glanced back and saw this curly haired black kilaab running like crazy after me, and behind it came a crowd of bašar shouting and screaming at me to drop the tuyuur.

The kilaab was a little bigger than me, but it was running like mad and yapping its head off. With the tuyuur clutched in my mouth, I was slowed down, so the kilaab gained on me. Suddenly, without knowing why, I stopped, dropped my kill, turned to the kilaab, puffed out every hair on my body and hissed as loud as I could right in his face. He stopped dead and gaped at me with bugged eyes, his mouth open but not barking. In a flash he turned and started yelping and screaming and running like mad toward the bašar that were getting close. I grabbed the tuyuur and ran as fast as I could toward Mutt's bushes. But the bašar closed in fast, throwing rocks and handfuls of gravel at me. I didn't want to get Mutt into trouble, so I veered quickly and ran across the street and into an alley and dove under a dumpster, flattened out and held my breath, which was almost gone anyway. They ran into the alley but didn't spot me. I breathed softly and hoped no one would look under.

It was a long time before they gave up, and I came out dragging my tuyuur. I scampered fast to Mutt's bush. Chubby, they were laughing so hard I thought I'd lose 'em. Fergus was on his back kicking and screaming, and Mutt just laid on his back gut laughing with no sound coming out.

"Where the hell were you guys?" I yelled at them. "I was almost kilaab food."

"Sic kalb on me, but you're great," Fergus said after stopping laughing. "When you turned on that kilaab, I saw him whiz right there and whiz a stream as he ran back."

Another bout of laughter hit him and off he went again. Mutt had stopped and was breathing like he'd die all of a sudden.

"Fine, fine," I said, dropping my catch. "Glad I can make you guys laugh."

Then the look in that kilaab's face hit me and I started laughing. Fergus was right, I'd scared the beh yeh outta him. What possessed me to do such a thing was never clear, but I guess that's what amai do when they get cornered: surprise the little boogers and make 'em beh yeh.

"You gotta know that kilaab was probably never right again," Chubby said.

"Yeah, well, guess you gotta do what you gotta do, hey."

"Kid, next we're getting' a singaab, followed by a araanib, and maybe even a samak if we could ever find one." Fergus was on his feet, nuzzling me on the neck and giggling. "You are somethin' else," he said. "I gotta admit I'm glad you found me at End of Light in the alley even though I thought you was nuts and still do. But, you're gonna be first class. Ain't he, Mutt?"

"Yup, first class." He sat up and blinked his woozie-looking eyes. "I'm hungry. We gonna eat these tuyuurs or let 'em rot?"

"Let's eat," Fergus said.

We tore into our catches, and Fergus mumbled through mouthfuls of feathers, "Ain't it great we don't have to eat that crap bašar give you. I ate some once and it was sickening. Out here, we get to hunt, get to be real amai, not pampered fat kiths." He looked at me and grinned. "And best of all, our food is fresh. You know that khara that comes in a can or a bag or something? That stuff's gotta be years old. This!" He ripped a chunk of breast from his tuyuur. "This is hot off the street."

"Okay, kid, watch and listen real close," Mutt said while ripping open his tuyuur. "This ain't like opening rats and mice. You gotta dig through the feathers to get to the good stuff, and don't eat any feathers. They'll choke you. You can pull 'em out, but spit 'em out right away. Good friend of mine choked to death on duck feathers, which are really tiny. That's why I don't eat duck."

Fergus flopped his tuyuur over and, holding it down, he opened its belly. "This here's a pigeon," he said, "and once you've eaten one, you'll crave 'em. Absolutely delish." Blue, green, yellow and purple guts appeared. "Now pay attention, kid." He spread it apart. "There are some things here I especially like." He pulled out a bloody hunk. "This here's the liver. So scrumptious." He gobbled it in one bite. "The heart, chewy yet juicy." He gulped it down. "Now the lungs are dicey." He pulled out two black things. "Mutt don't like 'em, but I do. Decide for yourself. Now this is the craw." A wrinkly white sack emerged between Fergus' teeth. He dropped it in front of me. "Do not eat this. It has rocks in it. Tuyuurs eat rocks, did you know?"

"No. This is the first tuyuur I've ever been around."

"You'll like tuyuurs," Mutt said, munching away. "They taste so good. You can chew and enjoy. Not like gulping rats."

"Okay, now that we've gone through the guts, it's time to eat the legs," Fergus continued. "Strip the feathers, eat the meat. Like this." He pulled away the feathers on the legs, spit them out and took a big bite. "Best part of the tuyuur," he said after swallowing. "Next comes the breast: same thing as with the legs. After that not much is left. You can pick at it if you want, but you don't get much for the trouble." He paused and smiled at me. "Okay, chow down."

"So why not do tuyuurs all the time?" I asked.

"Rats're easy," Mutt said. "You saw what it takes to get a tuyuur, and if you're not fast enough, you can guess what bašar would do to you if they caught you. They hate rats, so they don't care if we eat 'em. Fact is, they like what we do to rats. But tuyuurs they got a love affair with and don't like for us eat 'em." He took another bite and chewed. "But they eat tuyuurs, too," he went on. "I'll never understand. Besides, daytime is best for catching tuyuurs, and that's when bašar are around. We only have tuyuurs maybe twice or three times a week. Right, Ferg?" He returned to his food.

"Right," Fergus replied, his mouth full.

I admit they were right. I loved that tuyuur. No rusty taste, no bitterness, and no nauseating smell. Once inside and past the juicy stuff, the flesh was sweet and chewy. Since that time tuyuurs have been on my regular menu as much as possible.

Chapter 10

_Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner._ Gary Smith

Late one night, Mutt said, "Hey, Kid, I got someone I whatcha to meet."

"Okay."

"Who'r you talkin' about?" Fergus asked.

"Meffie."

"Whoa. You sure the kid here is ready for Meffie? I mean she ain't the run-of-the-mill type."

I stared at them while they talked, and got real curious. Meffie, I thought. Weird name.

"Listen, you two depraved rat traps," I said, "I want to meet something called Meffie. Now! Come on, I'm dying here of curiosity."

"Look, Junior, Meffie ain't an amait. She's a skunk, and if she's in a foul mood, you'll think the stink of rat is like the perfume of flowers. You just don't know."

"First of all, I don't know what a skunk is, the stink of rat cannot be topped, I don't think, and what kind of flowers. I wanna see her, now." I snarled the last word and caused both of them to back away.

"Okay, take it easy," Mutt chirped. "We'll go, now, but before we do, we have to clue you in on what to expect and, especially, what not to do. Dig?" He came over to me and licked my nose. "And by the way, Little Guy, we're not rat traps. Don't ever insult us like that again." His eyes narrowed, and I could see the faraawi on his back and tail raised slightly.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Didn't know you were so touchy." I took a breath. "So, what about skunks?"

"You think I'm touchy, wait 'til you meet Meffie. First, skunks are leery of strangers, which you will be. Don't charge in like you do here. Stand way back until we convince her that you're okay. Okay?" I nodded. "She doesn't talk our language very well, so depend on us to explain as best we can. Skunk talk is slow and mushy, so it's easy to follow, but they make sounds that click and squeak, so we have to listen real close. She understands us pretty well, but she just don't speak it very good.

"Now, she ain't cuddly, so don't go up and lick her nose or butt her head. She might bite you, or worse, spray you."

"Spray? Like we spray?"

"No. When Meffie sprays, a green slime comes outta her butt, and the smell will put you away. She's got fantastic aim and can hit you right in the eyes; that'll blind you as you choke to death. Ferg and me ain't never been sprayed, but we've seen it done. On a kilaab. Much as I hate kalb, I felt sorry for him as he screamed, then died with his mouth open gasping for air."

I said nothing as I tried to take in what Mutt said. "Listen, guys, I think maybe I'll stay here. I'd be too scared."

"No, no," Fergus chimed in. "You might accidentally run into one and not know what to do. Ain't many around here. I think Meffie is the only one right now, but when she comes in, males pop up to get their nookie, like we do, don't you know? Meffie's a great intro to skunks because she ain't mean like some we've seen. So let's get going and save the blather for later."

They led me to small woods near the lake. I'd seen it before but had never gone in. It was almost End of Light, and at first I felt like I was being swallowed. Outside noise was faint, but our steps, as quiet as they were, seemed to echo. Before long, though, I began to feel more and more at home. It smelled so good: wood, decaying leaves, dirt—all these smells rolled over me. I especially loved the feel of the soft leaves.

"Stay here," Mutt whispered. "We'll come get you when Meffie gets used to the idea of a stranger. Stay down and be quiet."

They slunk off low to the ground like they were tracking a kill. I hid behind a tree and hunkered down. It was a long time before I saw Fergus trotting toward me.

"Come on, Sugar Foot, she's cool with it."

I followed him to a thicket covered in small flowers and green plants that looked like small umbrellas. The leaves were deeper, too, coming up to my belly. I glanced up. The sky and stars were in full view; the moonlight washed the thicket with gray light. Mutt sprawled in a lush flowerbed, and near him was this very beautiful, rich black creature with a bright white stripe starting from her plush tail and splitting along both sides of her body and coming together on top of her head like a cap. A thin white stripe ran between her eyes and stopped at her nose that was covered with shiny black skin. Her small head was tapered to a point at her nose, and her ears were round like tiny leaves. I froze as she studied me with her beady black eyes.

Mutt spoke up, "Meffie, this here's Nebibi that I told you about. He's okay. A little dumb about bein' on the street, but we're shaping him up, right Ferg?"

"Right. Say somethin', Sweet Thing, so she won't think your stupid."

"Eih axbār." My voice gargled.

Fergus said, "I don't think she knows what that means."

"Happy meet you," she said, surprising all us that she did know what I said. "Mutt say you okay." She had a soft, sweet voice that rose and fell.

"Nice meeting you, too, Meffie. The guys have told me a lot about you. You sure are pretty." I sounded so pathetic.

"You, too, pretty. Black, um, black . . .How you say, Mutt?"

"Faraawi? Black faraawi?"

"Ah, yes, black faraawi like me."

Suddenly, she got up and started over to me. I dropped to a crouch and wrapped my tail around my body like it'd protect me. She shuffled through the leaves toward me and I gotta whiff of her: a choking smell like those white flowers that grow in the park by that pile of rocks. You know, Chubby, the ones that stink real bad in summer when you walk on 'em? She didn't smell as bad as the flowers, but I knew if she let loose like Mutt said, it'd knock my head off.

I froze while she sniffed my nose, my head and ears, and down my left side to where my tail begins. She glanced at Mutt who stifled a giggle by stuffing his tail in his mouth. "I tink you not smell good. Need Mutt give bath."

Lady, you oughta get a load of yourself, I thought, but said, "You're probably right. Mutt, what about it when we get home?" I punched "home" louder, hoping he would get my drift.

The kith brain dropped his tail but still grinned like a ninny. "Sure thing, Little Buddy, and, hey, Meffie, I think we need to go. Tomorrow is gonna to be busy, and we need to sleep now."

"Amai no sleep night. Sleep day."

"Yeah well, you're right, but tomorrow we, uh . . .we need to teach Junior, here, some more of the ropes. Teach him how to. . . uh . . fish."

Meffie stared at me, her little black eyes blank. "He make good fisher, I tink." Turning back to Mutt and taking a quick look at Fergus who was sort of turned off, she said, "You no hunt with me tonight?"

"Oh, sure," Mutt answered. "I forgot." He turned to me. "We always hunt with Meffie when we visit. She pretty much likes what we like, and our eyes are better in the dark than hers are. So, let's get going." He jumped up and headed into the woods. Fergus followed with Meffie waddling behind.

After I got to know her better, I found she had short legs and couldn't move very fast. 'Course with her defense system, she didn't have to.

We hunted 'til almost Tuyuur Song and killed a pile of mice that made us all so full we laid around in the thicket until dawn.

I won't say Meffie became a close friend, and I don't think Mutt and Fergus were best buddies with her, either. But, she was fascinating to be around for a short time, and I think short time was the way she liked it, too. Hunting with her was fun, like all hunting is, but once the food was gathered, she made it clear that we were dismissed soon after eating.

~ ~ ~ ~

"I knew a skunk once," Chubby said. "About where you said Meffie lived. Wonder if it's the same one?"

"Ouch! Damned flea. It's boring a hole in my belly. Hold on, Chubby. When I find the little sucker, I'll eat him." I found the flea and crush him between my front teeth. "I couldn't tell you, Chubby, if Meffie was the one you met or not. I'm not good with a skunk's age."

"Don't matter. The skunk I met wasn't thrilled with me, so we both skedaddled in opposite directions. I'd say you're lucky to have an experience like that. Not many of us do." He yawned and stretched. "It's suppertime. Let's go back to the mollie bašar and get a handout." As he scurried away with me behind, he was all smiles

We ate the rich food she set out, and I realized that Chubby was, well, fat. "Hey, old buddy, think you might slow down on this food? I mean you are a bit wide in the rear."

"No, but I will happily knock you on your tail, if you desire."

Chapter 11

_The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends._ Saki (Hector Hugh Munro)

Like Mutt said, we had all the fresh food out there we wanted. Rats were definitely not my favorites, but when hungry, eat what's available. That was my new motto, and the only motto I've ever had.

Freedom. Day after day sitting in that prison at the seminary, looking out the window, watching bašar, other amai, kalb, teir and everything else go where they wanted to go, do what they wanted to do, I dreamed of freedom. I'd been trapped all my life, so I wasn't sure what freedom was, but I suspected it was outside. And it was, and is. Fergus, Mutt and I went where we pleased, slept all day, caught a meal, laid around, groomed, and then went off to somewhere else just for the pleasure of going.

Of course, there were other amai around, and we'd hang out a lot. Fergus and Mutt knew them all. Most of them were cool and fun to be with, but there were stinkers, too, like Raeed and Thain, and amai stuck on themselves, shoving their tails under our noses and waiting for us to bring in the food. They lasted about a minute before Mutt let 'em have it or Fergus shredded an ear. We guarded our territory, but we'd share as long as no one muscled in on our stuff. I was still living in Fergus' territory, which he was quick to remind me when I horned in, like hunting without his okay.

"All the eats out here are mine, hey. Just ask; that's all. You're always welcome, but just ask. Okay?" I understood, but some amai didn't, and some amai hurt a lot after.

Mutt's territory was at the lakeshore in the bushes, but he didn't seem to care much about protecting it. He let most other amai come and go, hunt, and seldom stopped them. Except for Pach, a sexy white and black tabby mollie who Mutt hated.

"She's a liar, a tease, and dangerous," he'd say after he ran her off.

I didn't ask why because Mutt was so mad that he scared me. Fergus told me in private that Pach had been his one true love, but had left him for a yellow tabby house pet in a fancy apartment.

"Broke his heart. He never got over it and has never had a mollie since."

"Poor guy. Guess she just comes around to needle him, huh?"

"Yeah, and he ain't havin' it."

One day it occurred to me that I didn't have a territory and mentioned it to Fergus.

"Well, Kid, you'll have to find one that's open or fight for one" While we talked we dined on baby arnab we'd found under a log. "More'n likely you'll have to fight 'cause you'll never find an open one unless the owner's dead."

Feeling like a kith seeking advice from his maama, I asked, "How can you tell?"

"You gotta go in careful like and give it the sniff test. If the smell is real strong, someone owns it and takes care of it, like I do. Mutt, now, is kind of lazy about marking, and he's had some problems. Good thing he's a great fighter, or he'd be homeless." He finished his last bite then washed. "Now, if the scent is real strong, you can decide what to do. Lay low, see who the owner is, size him up and figure if you can take him or not. If not, buzz off and look around. Now, if the scent is real faint, almost not there, you're probably in luck and can lay down some stink of your own. But, make sure you look around carefully, 'cause you might be around someone like Mutt and get yourself clobbered. Oh, and another thing: if is smells female, leave. Our pretty mollies are dangerous all the time, but especially at certain times, if you catch my drift."

"Yeah. When they come in." I washed my face.

"You been around, I see."

I finished washing. "No. A friend I had once told me, as she warned me."

"Ah, not your maama?"

"No." We found some sun on our favorite sleeping porch and stretched out.

Fergus continued: "Mollies are usually snarly unless you go easy. Then, they can be good friends for a short time, or while their loaded sometimes. All of mine kicked my tail out once they felt the kiths move." He yawned. "To continue the territory thing: all I'm saying is be careful, and from my experience you'll have to fight to get a place. If it's an old guy, you may have a chance, but you'd be some lousy amait to move in on an old amait's territory. A young one? Well, how good are you?"

"I don't know. Never fought."

His eyes bugged and his mouth dropped open. "What?" he managed after a moment. "A fully developed tom as big as you are and never had a fight? What did your maama do, Nebibi? Just sit around and ignore you?"

Now I was really embarrassed. How could I tell him she was a boozer? "My maama is dead, but she drank a lot, and was probably fixed."

"Drank? How do you mean? Sits around a water bowl all day and drinks?"

"Fergus, I told you we were trapped in a seminary, right?"

"Yeah, but to understand I'd have to know what a seminary is."

"I'm not completely sure myself, but it has to do with things they do for something they call god, or something called our lord other times. I don't know, but I think both of my captors are in charge of the place. It's like they obey, or something."

"So what does that have to do with your maama drinking a lot of water?"

"They drink a lot of nibiit as they talk to these gods. And nibiit is this stuff that's red and smells bad, and when you drink a lot of it, you stagger around, bump into walls, don't make sense when you talk and sleep most of the time. My maama was hooked on it because she drank it from glasses they left around the place and sometimes sipped it from bottles that didn't have lids. She'd push the bottles over and lap it up."

Fergus looked at me and smiled. "So they have their kef, too."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You ain't ever had kef? Sweetie Pie, Daddy's gotta take you to the garden tonight. Mutt and me don't use much, but ever so often we gotta get some kef."

"What does this kef do?"

"What this nibiit stuff did for your maama. We gulp down four or five leaves and mellow in the grass for like a whole End of Light and come around just before Tuyuur Song. Don't even hunt."

"I don't know, Fergus. My maama wasn't much of a maama when she drank the stuff. If this kef . . ."

"Relax. I'll explain later. We're off the subject of fighting." He sat up and licked his paw, stretched and yawned. "Guess I'll have to give you lessons in fighting, too." He shook his head and looked away. "Why am I doing this? You're competition. I should have run your tail off when I met you. But, oh no, tenderhearted ol' Fergus has to be a teacher. Sic a kilaab on me. Come on."

He jumped off the chair and hopped from the porch to the ground with me tagging after. He ran toward the lake and Mutt's place.

"Hey, Mutt," he called. "Gotta teach the kid to fight."

Mutt stuck his head out, eyes winking like a crossing signal, and grinning. "Teach him to fight? Yahoo! Ain't never taught an amait to fight. Thought we was born fightin'"

"Well, some of us have maamas who drink nibiit," Fergus said.

"Nibiit?" Mutt said and stopped blinking.

"I'll explain later. Let's go to the beach where it's soft, and, besides, I gotta pinch a loaf before we get started."

We raced to the beach where Fergus dug a hole. Mutt did the same thing and beh yeh contentedly while I watched.

What am I into, I wondered. I'd seen amai fight. Adele and I watched two toms slug it out over a pretty little tabby once, and the loser later died. We also watched a queen beat the khara out of a tom she didn't want anymore. We thought it was a bit much since all she had to say to him was scram.

So, I sat and waited for my teachers to finish, hoping that when the lesson was over, I'd be able to sit up and eat. I also knew I didn't have to do this, none of it. I knew if I went back to the seminary and looked pitiful, I'd get back in. But they wouldn't call me Nebibi? Not a chance. I was Gaylord to them and always would be because they couldn't understand my language. I do not care for Gaylord and never did. Now, Nebibi was cool: a wild, black amait roaming the forest. That I could get use to.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Do you want me to call you Nebibi?" Chubby asked.

"Doesn't matter anymore, Chubby. My life has changed so much and I've learned to understand myself pretty good, so what I'm called is not that important. You've always called me Gaylord, and that's okay with me, Old Friend."

"Okay. Just checkin'."

~ ~ ~ ~

Then I thought there's more to me than being a housie. Yeah, I loved the pampering. I loved hanging out with Maama, when she was alive, and my sister, and the chow was all right. Fergus and Mutt all the time said it wasn't fresh, but I liked it then, before I escaped and ate really fresh food. Now, slitting open bellies and sucking out guts and blood and other ooze still gets to me once in a while, but it's worth it to be free.

What about proyet, I wondered, when the snow flies and it gets cold? I was used to a warm place, a blanket to stretch out on or a lap to cuddle in. Fergus and Mutt were not going to supply laps.

On the other paw I had a chance to build a reputation, or die in the attempt. If I made it, I'd respect myself as a savvy tom ready for anything. What good would that be at the seminary? None. But, oh Chubby, what stories I could tell if I went back, except who would I tell them to? My sister? That'd be short. So, in the end, I decided I'd stay on the street and tell my stories to other amai and teach them like Fergus and Mutt, and Adele and you, taught me."

~ ~ ~ ~

Chuckling, Chubby said, "I think you made the right choice."

It was late and I was tired of talking. "How about a nap," I asked. "Until End of Light. Then, we'll eat and I'll talk until Tuyuur Song. Okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sleepy, too. Not because you're talkin', but because I'm old."

"You can say that again."

"You know, I can still whip up on you like you've never been whipped up on before, Gaylord, my pompous young friend."

I had to laugh. "I know you can, Chubby. Never doubted it. Now hush and let me sleep."

When we woke, End of Light was there and it was raining. Hate rain, but I hate hunger more. I licked Chubby's face and roused him. What a grouch. Said nothing to me, not so much as a grunt.

I followed him to the mollie bašar's place where the food was waiting. We gobbled and ran and then spent several minutes drying off. My tongue was throbbing when I finished. We settled again, storyteller and listener.

Chapter 12

_You may say a cat has good grammar. Well, a cat does—but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use_. A Tramp Abroad, Mark Twain

"Are you ready to get clobbered?" Fergus shouted as he filled his hole. He came over, jumped on me, and pushed me to the ground. Mutt joined him for the easy scuffle before we raced down the beach to a more secluded spot.

"All right," Fergus said. "Amait fighting's an art form. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it means you gotta practice to be good. So, let's start with warnings."

He flattened his ears, dilated his eyes, bared his teeth and hissed. I jumped away because that's how he was when I first met him. He laughed. "See, if you're mean lookin' enough, you might get a pass. You don't know how much is bluff and how much can be backed up with mayhem

"Mayhem?" Mutt asked.

"Mayhem. I heard it used once by two tom bašar who were going at it in an alley. Now listen, I'm here to tell ya bašar can fight. Blood, snot, spit, and tears—everything is brought out in one of their fights, and with language and screaming, too. I heard mayhem and it interested me, so I've used it around fights ever since. Don't know what it means, but it sure sounds bad."

"You're really smart, Fergus," Mutt said.

"I know. Let's get back to teachin' Pretty Tom here how to defend himself. Okay, practice your warning."

I laid my ears flat, frowned, glared, bared my teeth and hissed.

"Aw, come on, Nebibi," Fergus said. "That wouldn't scare a crippled rat. An alley amait would have you hung up and gutted before you took a second breath. You gotta scare the khara outta them, hey. Make them let a khara streak as they run like that kilaab did when you hissed in his face. Still cracks me up. You gotta make them know, in a serious way, what they're getting into so they don't wanna get into it. You dig?"

"Yeah." I doubted I had that kind of stuff in me.

"Now, try it again, and do it like some honkin' monster was looking down at you. You're scared outta your mind but you ain't runnin', okay? Bear down!"

I thought about Adele and how she whipped Raeed when I did it again, but this time I flexed every muscle in my body. I brought the hiss from deep down inside, and my frown was aimed at a filthy kilaab like the one I'll tell you about later, Chubby.

I saw Mutt step back. All was quiet until Fergus said, "Okay, Sweet Cakes. That's what I'm talking about. That was impressive." He looked at Mutt who crouched and purred. "You blew Mutt away. Right, Mutt?"

"Right. I think if it was real, I'd be about two blocks away now. You got some rage inside you, kid."

I just smiled and tried to look important.

"If you can act wacko like that all the time, you may walk away from some fights, hey," Fergus said. "Now, I ain't scared. All your bluff is just that, and I know I can kick your tail anytime. Right? So, I don't back off. Whatchya do now?"

I sat down and looked at Fergus. "Uh, run like hell? No, you'd just run after and mop the street with me, right?"

"That would be a yes, only I'd bury you after if I was a mind to."

"Okay, let's see." I was really just playing with him, Chubby, because I knew he wanted to fight and he wanted me to say I'd stay. "Maybe, pinch a loaf? Say sorry? Wet myself? What?"

Now Fergus sat and stared at me. "You know, if you ain't careful, me and Mutt's gonna kick you out and forget about it. This is serious business. Amai that can't fight are dead amai. Dig?"

"Sorry, Fergus. I was just playin'. I'd fight if backed into a corner. Okay?"

"That's better." He licked a paw and looked at me again. Mutt was still crouched and purring. "Okay, bluffin' will usually get you nowhere. It ain't easy bluffin' an experienced alley amait. Maybe a kith brain like you, but not a savvy amait. You get a reputation for just being a bluffer, and you might as well go back to that cemetery . . ."

"Seminary, " said.

"Do not interrupt. If all you do is bluff, an old fighter like me and Mutt'll tear you to pieces 'cause we know you ain't got nothin'. Here's where fighting gets to be that art form."

Fergus took an attack stance, down on his haunches but on his toes with his upper legs cocked for grabbing or punching. His weight was on his back legs, ready to spring. Giving out a hiss and a scream, he hit me straight on and brought me down. He attacked my ears, then nailed my throat when I pulled my ears back, but he didn't bite down.

He relaxed and let me go, then said, "Did you get that? I went for your ears, tender and easy to shred, and when you pulled back to protect 'em, I got your throat. Now, if I was serious, I would have clamped your throat hard and tried to rip a hole. With the right hole ripped, the fight's over."

I stood, still feeling his fangs on my throat. "Okay, how do I defend myself?"

"First, forget your ears. They'll heal, okay. A little shredding here and there, but they'll still work." I thought of your ears, Chubby. "Besides, ragged ears mean you've had experience and survived. It'll be noticed and may impress your enemy. Okay, when he goes for the ears, you roll your head into him so he can get the ears easy, but leaves his throat open. You clamp on and take out the hole. Okay?"

"What if he moves too fast?"

"Good point. You're on his throat, right? He's got to pull back from your ears so he won't lose his throat and sets himself up for you to slap the crap out of him. Let's try it slow."

We squatted, and he lunged. He grabbed my ears and presented his throat, which I latched on to. But, he pulled back quickly and left his face open to my paws, which I landed on his nose."

"Great! If you belt him hard, real hard, using your claws to rip his face, you'll confuse him and leave his throat and belly open. Either one's good."

Caching my breath, I said to Fergus, "Okay, that's cool, but you're cooperating, and I know that ain't the way it is. Get real."

Walking to the edge of the lake, Fergus occupied himself with a long drink. When finished, he came toward me slowly, purring. "You're right. "Mutt," he called. Mutt, who'd been lounging at the edge of our battleground, came over.

"Ferg?" He looked at me and grinned.

"Mutt, beat the khara outta Pretty Tom here, and no holds barred. Don't kill him, but make him hurt so he'll remember."

Mutt eyed me. "You da boss, Boss." He took two steps toward me.

To say I was scared is like saying rats stink, or that when it rains you get wet. I was shaking inside. Mutt, I knew, was a celebrated fighter. I saw many amai walk around him, never even bristling or bulging their tails. Mutt was a legend.

I got ready, gave out the best hiss and yowl I could. Mutt lowered his head but never took his eyes off me, slobbers dropping from his mouth.

I can't describe what happened, Chubby. All I remember is his attack, like a white smear against the dark sky. He came for me, but that's all I remember. When I came to, I was on my side, a deep gash in my left shoulder that was bleeding like crazy. Here, you can still see the scar. My right ear felt three times its size, blood dripped down my faraawi from my neck, and I was wiped out. I looked for Mutt and found him close by, on his side, bleeding from many wounds and gasping for air. Just the tip of his tail was moving. Fergus was bent over licking his face.

"Did I kill him?"

"No. But he's in bad shape. Help me get him to the bushes. Can you stand, Mutt?" He didn't move for a moment, then slowly got to his feet, his legs shaking.

"What about you, Nebibi?" Fergus asked.

When I moved I felt cut in half. Pain shot through me and I puked. My left front leg was shot, and I knew my ear was dropping off. But I managed to get up and limp to the bushes while Fergus drug Mutt most of the way. When I got there, I passed out. I guess Mutt did too; I don't remember.

Fergus told us when we woke up that he'd been a fighter for a long time and had watched a lot fights everywhere, but he said this one was unbelievable. "I seen Mutt fight lots of times, taking on some of the biggest amai out here, and he won every time. But this was somethin' else." He paused and plopped down in front of us. "It was short, very short. Mutt, as usual, faked a dive for your ears, Nebibi, and then rolled under to tear out your throat. But, wham! You ripped his ear almost off and grabbed the side of his neck, raking him down the sides with your back claws. He whipped around, took hold of your ear and began making lace, while you went for his belly and tore at it. That's when I broke it up. I wacked both of you hard enough to kill a kilaab." He looked away like he was reliving the moment. "You guys lost it. You were both outta your mind. One of you would be dead if I hadn't jumped in. Maybe even both of you."

I could hardly move for a week. Even my tongue ached and I ate very little. Killing and eating anything was impossible. Fergus shared his catch with me and Mutt, who was as bad off as I was.

Chapter 13

_A fox was boasting to a Cat of its clever devices for escaping its enemies. "I have a whole bag of tricks," he said, "which contains a hundred ways of escaping my enemies." "I have only one," said the Cat; "but I can generally manage with that." Just at that moment they heard the cry of a pack of hounds coming towards them, and the Cat immediately scampered up a tree and hid herself in the boughs. "This is my plan," said the Cat. "What are you going to do?" The Fox thought first one way, then another, and while he was debating the hounds came nearer and nearer, and at last the Fox in his confusion was caught up by the hounds and soon killed by the huntsmen. Miss Puss, who had been looking on, said: "Better one safe way than a hundred on which you cannot reckon."_ Aesop

Everyday I went over the fight and tried to remember what happened, but for the life of me I could not. It was like I had been asleep or knocked out. Fergus' story was sketchy, too, because he said it happened so fast. But what interested me was how I knew what to do. Like I told Fergus, I had never been in a fight before. Never even hissed at anything or anyone. Maama used to wrestle with us, but it was just for fun, just three amai rolling around purring. When Mutt felt up to talking, he shed some light.

"Like you said, Nebibi, we're born killers. Everything about us is fixed to kill. Your maama ever kill a toy?"

"No. Why would she kill a toy? They're not alive."

"I don't mean really kill a toy. I know they ain't alive, but did she ever attack it like it was alive and she had to kill it?"

I thought about it and remembered how she played with a ball we had. She'd flatten out, stare at it, then pounce, trap it and bite it hard. "Yeah. I did that, too."

"She teach you to do it?" Mutt asked.

"I guess. Watching her I learned."

"Okay, here's the deal: amai are born to kill, right? And even though we're bright enough to know a toy is not alive, we go at it like it was and hit it with the killing bite."

"Killing bite?"

"Yeah. It's the bite we use on everything. Where do you bite a rat or a tuyuur?"

"Neck. Back of the neck."

"Who taught you that?"

Again, I thought about it. The night Mutt and Fergus showed me how to do a rat, it was dark under that building and I could only see shadows. All I remember was the shadow of them leaving with something in their mouths. When I got my rat, it was sudden, and I did bite it hard in the back of the neck before I took its head in my mouth. Same with the tuyuur.

"The killing bite polishes them off quick," Fergus said.

"Right," said Mutt. "But, no one taught you that, Nebibi. It came natural. I look at it this way: when you and I fought, we became each other's kill. We went for each other without a second thought. We wanted to kill. We wanted to live. Something inside of us took over and we went for it. What do think?"

"Could be. Sounds good. Maybe we just turn on naturally."

"I think you're right," Fergus said. "How else would a greenhorn like you, Nebibi, dish out this kind of pain on someone like Mutt who's the best fighter around?"

"Why don't other amai turn on when Mutt comes around?" I asked.

"Because they've seen him in action. And if they haven't watched him fight, as I recall, they have a problem, don't they Mutt."

"Yeah, but not like with Nebibi here. You're something else Kid.

"Mutt was right," Chubby said. "We are killers, no doubt about it." He stared at me for a second. "'Course, we don't always go for the kill."

"Yeah, if an amait runs away, we don't chase him down and kill him. But, if they stay around, they usually die."

"Sometimes we pull back, especially if it's an amait we respect."

"That's true."

"I've seen you fight, Gaylord, and you're scary as hell. Have you ever lost a fight?"

"No. You know if I'd lost I wouldn't be here talking to you. Have you ever lost, Chubby?"

"No. For the same reason. Go on, please. This is getting interesting."

~ ~ ~ ~

Tuyuur Song was coming so we rolled into a bundle and slept. For several days, though, I thought about what Mutt said, and as I mulled it over, it made more and more sense. We amai are amazing. Soft and cuddly, looking calm and cool, but when threatened, we can get downright mean and dangerous, cause real damage, even death. I have to admit it made me proud to be an amait, but I was savvy enough to know all amai were fighters like me, and I respected them for it.

When the Season of Emergence came, I was a real amait by then, able to hunt all my meals with or without Fergus and Mutt. No fights came up, but I was sure I'd win. I even got my own territory near Mutt's at the lakeshore. The three of us sniffed around and agreed it was open.

I liked being alone now and then. Fergus and Mutt were great, but I liked to just sit and think about stuff and doze off without one of my buddies leaping on me for fun and games. I like fun and games, but not constantly like they did. Oh, they slept a lot, but when awake, whoever was sleeping was in danger. Both of them still had a lot of kith in them.

Anyway, this one day I was dozing and dreaming about Adele. I wondered how she was getting along, and especially how you were doing, Chubby. After all, you are an old amait, and you never know."

~ ~ ~ ~

"Watch it," Chubby snarled. "I'll bite your tail."

"I'm terrified."

"Better be."

~ ~ ~ ~

Adele, I imagined, was all right because she was young and smart. And, as beautiful as she was I knew she'd found someone and had several kiths by now. If I had stayed I might have been one of the lucky abb. As I was remembering her beautiful face and warm soft body curled around mine, Fergus came running in.

"Nebibi, come quick. It's Mutt."

I jumped up. "What about Mutt?"

"He's been hurt. It looks really bad. I think he's had it."

He took off with me right behind. We crossed a patch of grass and came to a curb. I saw Mutt laying in the gutter, blood dripping from his mouth. But, his eyes were still bright and blinking and calm.

"Mutt!" I dropped down beside him.

"Hey kid. Forgot to zig after I zagged."

"A car hit him," Fergus said. "I saw the whole thing."

"You'll be fine, Mutt." I lied.

"No, Kid." He breathed hard and coughed blood. "I'm done for. Can't move. Can't feel nothing except this calm feeling like it's all over and I can relax." He coughed again.

"Don't be stupid, Mutt, you'll . . . "

"Don't you be stupid. It's okay. It's been a good run. I had a ball, some of 'em hairy." He tried to laugh but coughed again. Then he looked up at me, his eyes fluttering. "Listen, Youngster, I'm very proud of you, you know that? Huh? You were a kith brain when you got here, and now you're an amait, a real amait. Take my place, Kid. Be old Mutt the second. You can have my territory. Don't even have to fight for it. You'd beat my ass anyway." He tried to laugh again but went into a coughing fit. He looked at Fergus. "We had some times, didn't we, Old Friend. Love you guys. Love you both." And then he was quiet. The brightness of his eyes dimmed, and he slowly closed them and stopped breathing.

Bašar don't know it, but amai can cry. I wept like I'd never stop, and so did Fergus. Laying there quiet and cold was the greatest amait either of us had ever known. That we'd miss him was a monumental understatement.

"What'll we do with him," I asked between sobs.

"We can't do nothing. We can drag him out of this filthy place but we can't do nothin' else. We'll just have to let some bašar take care of him, which will be a garbage bag and the dump." Tears rolled down his face.

"Okay." I continued to sob as we dragged his body out of the gutter and up on the grass. "He would think this was okay?"

"Yeah." He trotted off toward the lakeshore and Mutt's bush.

I studied Mutt's crumpled, bloody body for a long time. Finally, I whispered, "So long, My Teacher. I'll never forget you." I gave that sweet crooked nose of his a last lick, then followed Fergus.

The next few days seemed to never end, Chubby. We couldn't eat or sleep. We just laid around and stared at the nothing. Mutt was all we thought about, but his name never came up. Once in a while one of us started to blubber, and the other gave comfort. Fergus was worse than I was about crying, gushing tears and sniffling. They'd been together since they were kiths in the street. No brothers had ever been closer.

One night after bawling for hours, I said, "Fergus, I think I'm going to try to find Adele."

He looked at me hard. "You'd go back to that khara? Living outta dumpsters? Come on, Nebibi, why'd you waste time here, then? You'd insult Mutt. He made you. You'd still be a mewing kith if it hadn't been for him."

"I know. I know all that. But, don't you see Fergus, it's because of Mutt that I can go back? I'm a match for any amait. I'm one hell of an amait because of Mutt. And you, of course. I can never leave you out."

"Hey, I had nothing to do with it. I found you, but Mutt made you. I mean, hell, Mutt made me who I am. We both owe him, and going back to that soft, mushy life is not the way to pay him back."

"Hey, I could be a teacher. I could teach those softies how to hunt and fight. I could carry on Mutt's name."

He was quiet. He stretched out, laid his head down and closed his eyes. I felt ashamed because I knew if Mutt was alive, he'd slap me to sleep for wanting to go back. Of course, I wouldn't want to go back if he was alive. I still couldn't get my head around the fact that he was gone. Not Mutt. He'd come around the corner in a minute, laughing and grabbing me and purring my ears off as he chewed on them. I'd learned so much from him, but I didn't realize until he died that I loved him and that he'd taught me how to love.

"Come with me, Fergus." I dropped down next to him.

"Not a chance, Nebibi. I'm an alley and this is where I belong. I'd kill or be killed five minutes after landing there."

"I'd protect you. I love you as much as I loved Mutt, and I don't want to lose you. Come with me, please."

He looked up at me and laughed. "Now wouldn't that be rich? You protecting me. You still sound like a kith brain at times."

"Come on. Stay with this kith brain, Fergus."

"Can't do it, Nebibi. I've been here in this one place all my life, and to tell you the truth, I'd be scared khara-less anywhere else. You go on. I'll be okay."

"Well, I'll be back. I promise. I'll visit all the time."

"No you won't, Kid. We say that but we get busy in a new life, new friends, and our past becomes just that, the past. The new life becomes now, and now is what's important. It's right now we live in." He paused and laid his head down again. "No. Once you're gone, you're gone forever. And I'll miss you something dreadful for a while. But, it won't be long before I'll start a new life myself, with new friends. You'll be a dim memory, eventually."

"I'll never forget you or Mutt. Never."

"Yeah you will. But that's okay because that's the way it goes with us amai. Short memory. It's okay. It's really okay."

We spent the night together, hunted rats for the first time in days, and I took off before Tuyuur Song without waking him. And the farther I got, the crappier I felt for leaving, but I also felt I had to go.

Chapter 14

_The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city._ Carl van Vechten

It was Time of Owls when I got here. Nothing had changed: walls still crusty and filthy from crap spewed up by garbage trucks, goo slopped around stinking like rotten vegetables, meat and fish. Ah, I was home.

I headed to a dumpster halfway down the alley hoping to find Adele. Everything, even the dumpsters, looked cruddy in the dim yellow light. Some amai that I recognized were sniffing around the dumpsters, moaning and groaning about the slim pickings and how they'd go to bed hungry. I could have told them grub was crawling around under a couple of stuffed trashcans: two big plump rats that would make supper for at least two. And, I knew if they looked other places, rats and mice were everywhere just askin' to be eaten. Why didn't they grab a few and go to bed with a full belly? Poor kiths, I thought. They didn't know squat about making it on their own.

~ ~ ~ ~

I heard Chubby give out a whiny warning. "You're starting to tick me off, Gaylord," he said.

"What? What did I say?"

"You're sounding like a real snob. Like you're the only one who knows anything." He got up, looked me straight in my eyes with his one eye and added, "We can all hunt. We can take care of ourselves, too. Who do you think you are, anyway?"

"Hey, calm down. I was stuck-up. I admit it. But, that was then. I'm over that. Just let me finish, okay?

Chubby frowned at me, shook his head and laid down again. "Better be good, or you can leave. Now. And don't come back."

"Simmer down, My Friend. Let me finish my story. I think you'll understand where I'm coming from."

~ ~ ~ ~

When I sniffed the dumpster, about a million scent marks jumped up my nose. None were Adele's. I even opened my mouth and tried to taste her. Under the dumpster a couple of kiths were tumbling around and purring. Mutt and Fergus shot to my mind and I felt tears welling up.

"You stink." I knew the voice, low, ragged and sexy.

I glanced over my shoulder. "It's wonderful seeing you, too, Adele."

"What do you do, sleep with rats?"

She was sitting, cleaning a paw, her green eyes sneering at me. Still so beautiful, still with those long legs and that soft faraawi I loved to nuzzle–she took my breath away, again. But I noticed a small notch on her left ear. "Fight?" I asked.

"What?"

"Your ear. Get in a fight?"

"Oh." She laughed. "No. Nothing that exciting. Caught it on a splinter going under Chubby's hideaway.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby snickered. "I remember that. She was so mad. Said it ruined her good looks. Stuck on herself! She was worse than you, Gaylord."

"Well, yeah. But, she had every right to be stuck on herself. Anyway, I asked her how you were getting along."

"He's okay," she told me. "Don't see him much. He's still under that shack where you first met him."

"I wanted to race over here and see you right away, but things got a little hairy between me and Adele."

"How so?"

~ ~ ~ ~

I moved a little closer to her, but she backed off.

"I'm serious. You stink like rat. Face down wind, will you?"

"No hug?"

"No hug."

"If I cleaned up?"

"No hug."

She was not glad to see me. She was ice, and it made me ache because I needed her to be like she'd been before I left. I wanted to talk and cuddle, but she wasn't having it. In my simple mind I didn't think I'd hurt her and that we could just take up where we'd left off. "How about some chow?" I asked.

"I've eaten. But you can get something and bring it back. I'll wait."

Maybe there is a chance, I thought. "Okay. Be right back."

"Take your time." She plopped down and washed her front paws.

I hadn't come back to dig in a dumpster for some nasty thing that a restaurant had thrown out. I mean, if it isn't any good for them, why is it all right for me or any other amait? I wanted fresh, and rats are fresh and they even sounded good at the time because I was starving.

I stooped by the wall of a building and listened. Shuffling. I heard shuffling, the kind rats make. There was a hole in the wall so I ducked in. It was almost pitch-black inside and it stunk like rat. Suddenly, I saw a huge shadow and it stared at me. I figured it was a rat, but I'd never seen one so big. When my eyes cleared, I saw that it was a rat and we were nose-to-nose. It hunkered down like it was going to pounce. Fergus told me once that rats got nasty when they were cornered, but this one was out in the open. Probably makes no difference, I thought.

I moved on it because I figured it would bolt and I could grab it, but it reared up and hissed. I stopped like a car had hit me. But the rat just stood there and hissed. Nobody ever told me what to do in case a rat turned on me. I thought about backing off and finding another rat, but Mutt's face shimmered up in my mind and said, "Run and you'll die. Every rat in the place'll be after you." I'm gonna fight a rat, I decided, and shivered at the idea.

Squatting down, I planned my strategy. I had to get behind it to give it what Fergus called the killing bite. Now, experience taught me, Chubby, that rat teeth are sharp and deadly, so a frontal attack was not a good thing. I could get my throat ripped out before I knew what hit me, so I stayed squatted and kept quiet. They're fast, too, and cunning; they can chew you like a toy ball before you can kill them. I'd been bit a few times, and Mutt'd had a lot of scars he called his rat marks. Suddenly, the rat relaxed his stance and turned to leave. He never felt my bite.

There are two things about us above all, Chubby: speed like lightning and compassion; we kill instantly. Yeah, now and then a queen will bring a wounded mouse to her kiths to teach them about mice and how to kill them. I always felt bad for the mouse, but, hey, how else you gonna teach kiths to take care of themselves? If my maama hadn't laid up drunk most of the time, she might have taught me and my sister. Maybe I wouldn't have needed Fergus and Mutt, but then, of course, I wouldn't have met them, or Adele and you.

Tuyuur Song was showing behind the buildings when I drug the rat to where Adele sprawled, trying not to sleep. She jumped like she'd been hit when I dropped it in front her

"What is that?" She screamed and ran back against the wall.

"A rat."

"I know it's a rat, but what is it doing here?"

"It's my supper."

"Gaylord, you're making me sick. I swear I'll puke all over you."

"Hey, why not join me? Big as it is, there's enough."

I flipped it belly up and prepared to slit it open. I watched Adele's face getting paler and paler. It was a bit cruel, I admit, but I wanted Adele to break the dumpster habit and become a hunter.

She screamed at me. "Gaylord! Stop! That's disgusting. Smell it. It . . . It smells like you. I'm outta here." She turned and ran along the wall and disappeared behind a large can spilling over with rotten vegetables and meat that had green stuff oozing from it.

I gawked at her because I saw the problem. Sure, she was an alley amait, used to the stink and taste of the rotten food she scarfed down and loved. She wasn't used to rats and mice. They repulsed her? It didn't matter if amai were supposed to eat rats and mice; she didn't like them. End of story.

I felt ashamed for being so hard on her. She'd never had to kill to eat. She ate bašar garbage, already dead, and fights over food didn't happen because the amai were soft and spoiled because garbage was all over the place. Right? Adele never went hungry, but I had been hungry and had to hunt and kill every mouthful of food. Yeah, I felt superior. I was a real amait. I was a hunter and killer.

Starving, I began to eat. It was good. I wanted a tuyuur, but teir perch along roof tops and telephone lines in this part of town and are harder to get because they don't fly down much, except in proyet when bugs are gone. 'Course, those huge black teir land all the time, but those suckers are mean, and taste bitter. Mutt got me one once. Then rolled on the ground laughing when I spit it out. Yuk!

"Why am I telling you all this, Chubby? You know what I'm talkin' about better'n I do."

"Figured you need to brag about how great you think you are."

"Thanks." Just what I needed, a critic.

Okay. Since the rat was huge, I left part of it and strolled over to the garbage can where I'd seen Adele run, but she was gone. I sat and washed my face.

"You need to do that to your whole body." It was Adele standing behind me.

I ignored her until I finished washing, and without looking at her I said, "Don't start with me, Adele. Where I've been, I had to stink, as you put it, like a rat in order to eat. You stink like garbage, and that puts me off, but I don't throw it in your face, do I?"

"Oh, you're so superior, now." She sneered. "My, my, we must crack you up because we don't suck guts outta dead rats and lap their blood. Wow! How grand you are, Gaylord."

She got to me, so I turned and glared at her. "Yeah, well, I'm an alley amait, too, and I am superior to you. You're trapped in this one place, grubbing off bašar for that khara you call food. Take it away, and you'd starve. You're nothing but a bunch of housies on the loose. I can hunt, Adele, and kill, and I'm damned proud of it. Now why don't you go slop around in the garbage and leave me alone?"

I jumped up and ran, thinking seriously of not stopping until I was home with Fergus in my own territory. Damn Adele, I thought. Who's stuck up? If she isn't, I'm a dead tuyuur.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Well, what did you expect?" Chubby yelled. "You weren't the same amait, but she was the same Adele. Did you expect her to gush all over you? You hurt her, Gaylord, and a mollie's not quick to forgive. I speak from experience."

"I know that now, Chubby. Yes, I was so puffed up with myself that I couldn't see Adele. I wanted her to respect me and fall all over me because I was so great. I wanted her to admire me, look up to me because I thought I deserved it. I wasn't thinking of her, and I didn't know what she'd gone through after I left. I didn't know she loved me. She never said. Adele never came across as the lovey type, so I thought she hated me or just didn't think about me at all. How was I to know?" I laid down and looked at Chubby who stared at the ground. "But, she was always loving and generous, and eventually she did forgive me."

"No one was more loving than Adele," Chubby whispered. "And whether you want to believe it or not, she could hunt if she'd wanted to. You insulted her, Gaylord. You were wrong to do it."

"Yes, I was. I'm so sorry, now."

"Well. what's done is done, but I'm glad you're sorry."

Chapter 15

" _But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on "And how do you know you're mad?" "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" "I suppose so," said Alice. "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore, I'm mad."_ Lewis Carroll

I stopped by a tree and sat down. The wind was picking up a chilly breeze. The Season of Emergence was not far away.

"Going back would be easy," I said aloud. "Fergus would be delighted and I wouldn't have to hang out with these greenhorns."

"Like you were when I found you?" She was a silhouette against the growing light.

"Yeah, like I was." I admitted to her that I was a kith brain twice, first with her and second with Fergus and Mutt. "But I'm not one now."

She came and flopped beside me. I gave her a smug grin as I sniffed her face. "Let's see, moldy meat, rotten bit of fish, some slimy lettuce and . . . ah, yes, rotten onions. Right?"

"Don't you start" She said and moved away a little. We were silent for a moment. "Who's Fergus?"

"A friend who taught me all I know. Well, he and Mutt, my other friend who was killed by a car recently. Great amai. I owe them everything."

She looked at me hard. "Everything? What am I, a bucket of khara? You'd be dead now if I hadn't been . . . what'd you call it? Oh, yeah, a garbage amait, livin' off of bašar scraps. If I hadn't been a garbage amait, you'd have starved." She was calm as she spoke, no screaming, no ranting, but she was mad as hell and close to blowing her cool.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Yes, you saved me and taught me stuff I had to know to make it in the street. I admit it. I apologize. We laid there and absorbed the chilly breeze. I wanted to curl up with her, but I knew that was a stupid idea. "But I'm not the same kith brained tom who cut out on you. I'm a grown up now. What you see in front of you is a streetwise alley amait, a real amait. Thank you for what you taught me, but it was only a start. I know just about everything there is to know now. What can I say?"

She stared at me like I'd lost my mind, and I had, Chubby. Nobody could've matched my bighead; I was so puffed up.

"So what am I? An unreal amait?" I saw the hurt in her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. You think because you can hunt and kill that makes you a know-it-all streetwise amait? I can hunt and kill, too, Buddy. I just don't choose to. I'm lazy, okay? I hate the taste and smell of rats, and, yeah, I've had some. When I first came to the street, I tried a mouse, and it sickened me, so I went the easy way. But that doesn't make me less of an amait. How many kiths have you had, oh, wonder amait?" She got in my face. "Don't ever brag like that in front of me again, or I'll tear the khara right outta you."

I glared at her and laughed. She went crazy and made a lunge at me. I sidestepped, caught her front leg, flipped her over and pinned her to the ground. Her eyes almost popped out. "How the hell did you do that?" She whispered.

"Training." I let her go. "Can we calm down, Adele. I won't fight you, but I will not let you mess me up. I know you can, but as long as I have the strength, I'll stop you. Understand?"

She rolled over and sat. We were grooming ourselves when she started to laugh. I glanced at her. "You're right about one thing." She'd finished smoothing the faraawi on her chest. "You're not the same amait. When I found you out here, I could have blown you over."

"Amai can't blow."

"Hiss, then. Did your friends teach you to be a smart ass, too?"

"No. You did a pretty good job of that."

It got cold and the wind gusted around us. We headed for Adele's crack in the wall, and when we went inside, she said, "The wind did something to you because you don't stink as much."

"You're getting used to it." I sprawled on the floor.

"No, no, I'd never get used to that." She dropped near me.

It felt so good being there, Chubby. I started to feel happy like when we were together before. We'd said some things we needed to say, but I knew there'd be more; I still loved her. As I said, I didn't know how she felt about me, and I know amai don't hook up for life and mollies have a lot of lovers; it's part of being an amait. But, I was nuts about her. I couldn't imagine ever leaving her again.

I also wondered if I could I live knowing I was just one more tom in her life? I watched her smooth herself with her cute little tongue and dig her gorgeous face deep into her faraawi to take out a flea and thought, How cool it'd be to have her all to myself.

Suddenly, the seminary floated into my mind. Maybe that's the answer, I thought. Go back to the seminary with her, beg to get in and insist she be brought in, too. And—listen to this, Chubby—I thought if I could get her settled, Ned and Harriet couldn't turn her away. Huh? What about that? Good idea, yeah.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby leered at me for a moment. "You are a very sick amait, Gaylord, but a clever one. I'll say that for you."

"So, why am I sick?"

"Because you were only thinking of yourself."

"I already said that. But, how's that make me sick? I don't understand. I was selfish, yeah, but sick?"

"Don't beat it to death. Maybe sick's the wrong word. A little crazy? Is that better?"

"I guess. I see what you're sayin', Chubby. Sorry I got sore."

"S'okay. I forget you're touchy."

~ ~ ~ ~

I knew getting her loaded would be a huge problem because I'd have to let other toms get to her. So what's the problem? I thought. Loaded was loaded, and how would Ned and Harriet know? Adele loved to be comfortable and would go for being in a warm house to have the kiths. And if the kiths were given away, like I was sure they would be, Adele wouldn't care. What happened to kiths once they were eating on their own was no concern of hers. We all knew that, hey.

Of course, I knew Adele would go wacko when she came in, and that scared the khara outta me. I'd have to fight her.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Did you ever think about what you'd do if Harriet and Ned threw you out?" Chubby asked.

"Yeah. I thought of that. It was simple: I'd go where she went, wherever. We'd make it. I was never going to let her go again. Where she went, I went. No argument. Just fact."

"You're okay, Gaylord."

I smiled. "We were tangled together when we woke up at Tuyuur Song. Apparently, sometime during the night my stink didn't matter to her, and hers, of course, was like perfume to me, although smelling a bit like yesterday's chop suey.

"Oh, brother."

"Oh, brother? What wrong, Chub?"

"You're makin' me sick with all that silliness about stinkin'. Her smell was perfume. Brother, oh, brother. And don't call me Chub. Hate that."

"Okay, but you're just jealous."

"You're right about that. Go on."

~ ~ ~ ~

I was still determined to load her with kiths and take her to the seminary. Breakfast was a dive in the dumpster for her, and for me a couple of fat mice I found under it. I saw some cockroaches under there, too, and I remembered Mutt said they were tasty. But bugs have never been my thing. I tried a grasshopper once. Yuk! Dry and bitter. Mice are good, small, but good.

While we ate I thought about my plan for Adele and wondered when she'd be ready. "When do you come in again?"

"What?" She dropped a mouthful of some crap she'd been chewing on.

"You know what I'm talking about. When will you be ready for kiths again?"

Mouth open, she glared at me like I'd asked her to fly. "I don't know, Gaylord. It hits me anytime, anywhere. You'll know when I go for your throat in the middle of the night. Why?"

"Well, for one thing, to save my throat, and I might wanna try to be first."

"You'll have to stand in line." She went back to eating. "Every tom in the neighborhood will be there. We stink to high heaven, and you guys can sniff us out a block away."

"I know. I didn't spend all my time away hunting rats. Think I might have a chance?"

"If you fight like you did yesterday, yeah, I'd say you'll have a very good chance. 'Course, this would be against a tom with lots of experience. Think you could take him?"

A picture of my encounter with Mutt flashed before me. "Like I said, I didn't spend all my time hunting rats."

Some time later I was ripped out of a deep sleep by yowling so earsplitting I thought my head would explode. It was Adele, rolling around on the ground like a snake.

"What the hell?" I was truly scared khara-less. I went to her, and she whacked me so hard I heard bells. Her claws slashed my nose and made it bleed. She leaped out of the crack and was gone. I cleaned the blood from my nose and smiled. She was ready.

I cleared the opening to our little den, caught a glimpse of her rounding the corner of a building and went after her. I saw her up ahead rolling in the grass, reaching out with all four legs and yowling louder. To my astonishment, ringed around her was at least six toms, all licking their lips and carrying their tails high like sticks in a breeze. I could almost hear them purr from where I stopped and sat down. How did they get there so fast?

You're about to have your ass whipped, I thought. I knew I'd have to fight every one of them unless I could get them to fight each other and eliminate some rivals. That's what I planned as I walked over to Adele.

They were street amai, lean, hard and scruffy like me. Two were gigantic tabbies with faces like gouged wet mud. One was a black shorthair like me but with enormous yellow eyes and dull, murky faraawi that showed miles of scars. I knew he was the one I'd have to take care of if I wanted Adele. He sat with a bored expression on his face, calm and together.

The others were ordinary, except for a filthy white who could be deaf and who kept twitching his head and frowning like he didn't know what to do or where he was. They were ogling Adele in her torment when I got over to them.

"Who's gonna be first?" I asked.

"Not you," one shouted. The black smiled and watched me carefully. He knew what I knew.

"Come on. Get going here or we'll all lose out. She's askin' for it and we're just standing around gawkin'. Hey, you, big tab." Both tabbies turned to me while the others turned to them. I could see Adele was getting beyond frantic, which meant she might not struggle.

"Yeah, you, the one whose face looks like kilaab khara." Everyone snickered except the tabbies and the black, who still smiled and glared at me. "Wanna fight?" I returned his smile. I knew if I took him out, it might discourage some of the others.

"Hey, why not?" one of the tabbies said. The black watched the tabby move toward me, and he chuckled.

"I wasn't talkin' to you, Tabby. I meant the black."

"Don't hurt him, Tab. He's mine after you," the black said, snickering. His voice was deep and dark like his faraawi. It occurred to me that since I was black, too, our fight would look like a rolling tar ball. I thought it was funny.

The tabby sprang. I jumped straight up like a kith, came down on his back, whirled around and gave him a vicious bite in the back of his neck. He rolled over on me and I grabbed his face like I'd seen Adele do to Raeed and bit as hard as I could. I heard a pop. I let him go and blood was pouring out his nose. He turned and ran up the hill and disappeared over the hill.

"Next." I sprang up like a kith after a butterfly.

Whitey was gone, and the other big tabby melted into the bushes while all the other toms had backed off to the top of the ridge and sat like teir on a wire. They knew what was coming. I looked at Adele laying there grunting, a distant look in her eyes.

The black sat quietly licking a paw and flexing his claws. He mocked me with a sideways glare. "Can I be next, pretty please?" He sniggered while he flexed his claws.

I smiled back. A rock sat in the pit of my stomach because I knew he could end my life. Before Mutt died, I tested my fighting skills against a few amai who turned out to be pushovers who couldn't have whipped a crippled piss ant. This black had scars like Mutt's, so he was seasoned. I had to kill him or be killed.

"Okay." I smiled wide and cheery and took a stance with my rear in the air, my tail swatting and all my claws bared. I hissed like I had for Mutt, but the black just sat and studied me, frowning. "What are you doing?"

He surprised me, so I relaxed and sat down.

A black flash is all I remember of his attack. He went right for my throat, and I dropped my chin and did a forward roll between his legs. He whirled around and sprang for my back just as I flipped over and sank my teeth as hard as possible into his leg. I pulled and wrenched until I got a plug of his flesh. He screamed but was able to slap blood from my nose and mouth. I spit the hunk of meat and leaped for his throat when he screamed again. Blood squirted into my mouth, and I knew he was finished, except that in his death convulsions he could still latch on and kill me, too. I clamped down for all I was worth, and finally, I felt him relax. I released him. He looked at me and gave a faint smile. "You're really good," he murmured as his eyes dimmed and became lifeless.

I was sorry I had to kill him because I think he was a good amait. We might have made friends. But he was the only one of the clowder around Adele that I knew could do me in. The others were good seconds and thirds if Adele chose, but I felt I had to be first. I was also amazed that I had taken him without getting torn up. Maybe I was that good.

"There you go again. Braggin'," Chubby said.

"Sorry."

~ ~ ~ ~

The amai like a row of teir sat on the ridge, watching. I mounted Adele and she began to squeal and purr. It was over quick, but when I withdrew, she screamed and turned on me, hissing, growling and punching. I ran away, and she followed until she dropped and began moaning again. Scared the khara outta me, Chubby. I was totally blown away.

She gave in to a couple more, and then whapped the others silly when they tried. She cleaned herself after each time before she let another one mount her, and if they got restless before she finished cleaning herself and started for her, she whapped them, too. When it was over, she came to me.

"You're dangerous. I've never seen anyone like you, Gaylord."

I just looked at her and grinned. I was burnt from fighting and flopped down. Adele joined me. It was after Time of Owls when we woke up and went back to our den.

Chapter 16

_Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well_. Missy Dizick

"As you know, Chubby, amai have been hangin' around with bašar for a long time. 'Course, we're the ones that get the good from it, right? And, they don't know that. They think we're just so sweet and cute and warm and cuddly. They think we need them for everything, and we give them a few purrs, we scent mark them, which they think is showing love, we sprawl on their laps, we let them pet us and we show how happy we are to eat that stuff they call food.

"But, a few of them are savvy and know we're taking advantage in every way and keeping most things for ourselves. Belly rubs are a good example of how we use them. We roll over and let them rub our bellies because it feels good and it makes them feel they're in charge. But, when it gets us drowsy, we nip them and run off, and some of them get wise to us. They figure out that they aren't in change and that we use them any way we want to. They're the ones that often throw us out or run us off because they can't take it that we're smarter. The good news is, most bašar don't know we're smarter and just keep on giving like the softies they are.

"I don't have to tell you, Chubby, we can take care of ourselves, even if we have to learn it the hard way like I did. It's a well-known fact that we can grab comfort in devious ways and be proud of it. We deserve it. We're former gods after all, and probably still are, somewhere."

"Youth," Chubby said and yawned. "Ah, to be young and empty headed again." He smiled and looked at me. "When I was your age, I thought the same thing. I ran around with that empty head for a long time, but as I got older and old, as I am now, I found a little sense and changed. Gaylord, bašar are alive like we are. They are what they are, just as we are what we are. Respect them Gaylord. They've been our friends and enemies forever, but they're a part of life. Respect that, okay. I just sayin'."

"What about kalb? They're part of life, yes?"

He looked at me for a long time. "Well, I don't know." He was silent again. Then he said, "I'd have to say, yes. There are kilaab that kill us for no good reason, mean, nasty kilaab who need to be stopped, killed even. But, they are alive, a part of life. In my years I've learned to respect everything that's alive, and I've learned, too, that there are good kalb. I know you don't believe that, but there are, somewhere. Maybe I'm just a stupid old amait." He smiled again and looked away.

"You take the fun outta everything, Chubby, but when I'm you're age, I'll think about it."

"Like I said, youth."

~ ~ ~ ~

So, when we had more cold days than warm, I took a very knocked up Adele to the seminary. It hit me that I wasn't sure if Ned and Harriet were still around, but I wasn't worried. We'd find a bašar or two who'd take us in. I would blow them away with my charm, and they would be in my control.

"Okay, I'm conceited but most amai are."

"I can see modesty is one of your great virtues," Adele said after I'd laid my plan on her.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." I straightened my tail like a tower and pranced on. "Tails up, Adele. They think we're happy that way."

"Yup. I remember." She thrust her tail high and followed.

"Like a smart housie, I listened to them talk when I was locked up." I stopped and waited for her. "See, Adele, they don't know we can understand them, understand their language. And, how is it we can understand their language? Because we've had to for however long we've let them take care of us, and let them believe they're in charge. So if you're quiet and listen, you learn a lot of stuff. Anyway, I know what I can do in the streets, and when it gets cold and the snow flies, I like to be fed and pampered and kept warm even if the food ain't all that good."

"Gaylord, I know all that khara. I've been around. You're not the only one with brains, even if they are kith brains." She laughed. "You know I'm having fun with you, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"But, you said it was a prison."

"Yeah, but I learned how to get out." I turned around and went on.

"Being warm is nice."

Her belly looked like it had doorknobs in it and sometimes they moved. I mean there was no doubt she was loaded. Would Harriet and Ned turn us away? Nah. I figured if we played cute, we could get in.

"Remember to purr a lot and loud. They like that. And rub on them. Wrap your tail around their legs and scent-mark them as much as possible. Soft suckers'll melt right away. Even the hard cases will fall if you keep it up.

"Hey, don't get me wrong. I respect them because they're big and strong and really smart, but they're soft hearted. Most of them, that is."

"Will you shut up, Gaylord! Remember, I was a housie once. I know the drill."

Dodging cars and crossing open grassy fields, we were soon at the seminary. I recognized the apartment building, dark brick with all the apartments facing the street. Steps led up to each door that all looked the same.

Which one do I want, I thought as we huddled in some bushes. Early Season of Emergence can be a very cold time, as you know, because we're still used to warm weather and our faraawi hasn't grown in. An icy wind blew across us there in the bushes, telling us to get inside somewhere warm as soon as possible. I drew Adele closer to me.

"They'll be coming out soon." I said.

"Will they recognize you?"

"I think so. I hope so."

A door opened and a kid walked out, bundled to his eyeballs, crossed to the sidewalk, and went up the street away from us.

"Ours?" Adele asked. I felt her shiver against me.

"No. But I think it was the kid next door who made a lot of noise all the time."

Another door opened, and sure enough it was Harriet. "Wait here," I whispered to Adele and trotted off toward Harriet.

I liked Harriet. She was kind and was a first class sucker for anything I asked for. Rolling over caused her to reach down and scratch my belly every time, and if I wanted some extra food, a chirp and a rub always worked.

Ned could be annoying and was harder to train because he was distracted most of the time with whatever he did. And, he wasn't home a lot so I could work on him.

Harriet was bundled against the cold, too. As she walked toward the street, I crossed her path and deftly wound between her legs, almost tripping her. She stopped and looked down. "Gaylord! Gaylord, where have you been?" She scooped me up and cuddled me to her face. Her breath smelled of coffee. "I thought you were dead. Why did you run away?"

I wanted to tell her why, but she didn't understand our language. So, I purred as loud as I could, nuzzled her cheek and tried to show her why I came back. I thought maybe she'd get the drift that I wanted inside.

"You are a rascal." She laughed, spun around and started toward the door.

I gave out a whiny meow of protest and struggled hard to get down. I ran to where Adele hunkered in the bush, looked back at Harriet and let go with a piercing distress meow. "Owr! Owr! Owr!" Next I gave out a regular meow, all the time staring right at Harriet; you know, Chubby, so she'd think I understood her.

"What is it?" Harriet asked when she came to me.

I jumped in the bush and said to Adele, "Come on out. She's delighted to see me."

Adele came out and offered the sweetest queenie meow I'd ever heard. She pushed her head into Harriett's extended hand, rubbing, purring and scent marking with the side of her mouth.

"You're a natural," I murmured. Adele heard me and poured it on more. Harriet didn't have a chance.

"So, is this your lady, Gaylord?"

I meowed and joined Adele in rubbing and purring. Harriet gathered us in her arms and whisked us inside the apartment. I sniffed the air and knew right away that we were the only amai there. I struggled to get down. I feared the worst. Where was my sister, Lamis? No litter box stink, and only a faint, stale amait odor. I ran to the living room, then to the kitchen. No one. Harriet put Adele down, and she ran to me.

"My sister's gone."

"Oh, Gaylord, I'm so sorry." She licked my cheek several times.

"How sweet," Harriet said. "You guys must love each other a lot." She went to the kitchen, got two bowls, filled them with milk and sat them by the stove. "I gotta go. I'll pick up some cat food on the way back. You guys enjoy the milk and sleep. Okay? I'll be back around five. Ned'll be here late this evening. He's in change of evening prayer. Take care." She opened the door and turned to us. "Glad you're home, Gaylord. We'll decide what to do with your lady when I get back."

I recoiled. Decide what to do with Adele? You keep Adele here with me, if you want to keep me.

Adele looked at me. "I don't like what she said."

"Neither do I. We gotta think and plan. And I want to know what happened to Lamis."

"Take it easy. Let's eat first."

"I'm not very hungry. Besides, I hate milk."

"What? I love it and don't ever find it on the street. What do you mean you hate milk?"

"Gives me the galloping khara."

She dropped to the floor laughing. "The what, Gaylord? The galloping khara?"

"Runs, Beautiful Amait, if you need to know. It's what my maama called them."

She rolled over on her back, waved her legs around and laughed until I thought she'd puke. "I have never heard anything so funny. You are some goofy tom."

She drank both bowls of milk, and we curled up together on the sofa. Adele fell asleep right away, but I couldn't with my mind whirling. For one thing I was uncomfortable. I thought being back in the apartment would be great, but with my sister gone, it wasn't home. And, there was a peculiar smell, which I could not identify, that made me nervous. I wondered if Adele smelled it, but all she thought about were the kiths crawling around inside her and paid little attention to anything else. It wasn't that she looked forward to having them; she just wanted it over, and she wanted the kiths gone as soon a possible. Adele was a practical maama, as you know, Chubby, not a loving one, which concerned me a bit for the kiths.

But what really scared me was what Harriet said when she left about deciding what to do with Adele. Did she suspect Adele was loaded? She looked it for sure, but bašar don't know much about amai, anyway, and Harriet maybe hadn't noticed. 'Course bašar detect things we think they don't know about, like cleaning a litter box. Since they don't use one, how do they know it needs cleaning? Always puzzled me.

Anyway, I knew I had to keep on guard. The first sign that they were going to get rid of Adele was my cue to get us out. So, I had to have a plan just in case because it was the Season of Emergence and they didn't leave the door open like they did in the Season of Low Water. Maybe there's another way out, I wondered. I decided to go look for it while Adele slept.

I uncoiled myself from Adele, went to the kitchen and snooped around. I found some holes in back of the stove, but they had pipes in them. I tried to squeeze through, but no way. In Adele's condition it was out of the question. I pulled open the cabinet under the sink, and found the same thing. After I sniffed the rest of the kitchen and found nothing that would get us out of there, I went back to the living room.

Adele was still asleep, so I circled the room and sniffed everything: nothing, not even a crack anywhere. But, that smell I didn't recognize was stronger. It really bugged me.

I went into their bathroom. All its familiar, weird smells were there but not the mystery stink. I nosed around; found the towels damp and the sink faucet dripping. I took a drink, but gotta whiff of the crap they use on their teeth, gagged and hopped down. Only way outta there was the bathroom door.

Their bedroom I knew well. Me, Maama and sis slept there every night, cuddled up with Harriet and Ned. Like I said, they were pretty good bašar as bašar go.

I'd explored the bedroom many times, so I knew it was escape proof. See, I'd looked for a way to escape many times, Chubby, and I had explored about everything in the place.

I was about to give up when I noticed their closet door was open. That's new, I thought. I'd never seen that door open. Slinking inside careful like, I sniffed, and coughed. Dust. Lots of dust. I sneezed and rubbed my nose. Clothes were everywhere, some hanging up; some on the floor tangled with their shoes and some socks in the corner that really smelled disgusting.

I spotted a shelf over their clothes, an easy jump. And Chubby, I struck gold. Staring at me in all of its beautiful darkness was a hole big enough for both of us. I almost cried. Even Adele in her condition could make the jump.

'Course the door to the closet would have to be open, so I planned to make sure it was always open although I wasn't sure how. Then I thought of an old trick I use to pull on them.

Before I ran away, I'd sometimes stare at something, anything–a wall, a chair, a spot on the rug, or, my favorite, the front door, which I wanted them to open–and scream my head off like I was wacked. I used to do it all the time. They hated my screaming, and yelled at me to shut up, but I'd keep on until they came to see why I was screaming.

What was really funny, Chubby, was when I stared at a wall and yowled; they didn't know what to do. They could open a door or move a chair, but what could they do with a wall or a spot on the rug? I did it for meanness and because I was bored outta my mind. Anyway, I always got their attention. So, I planned to keep an eye on the door to the closet and make sure it was always open. Find it closed, I'd let out a yowl that'd stop their heart and keep it up 'til they opened it.

The hole smelled like a rat's nest and there was wind blowing through it. Good, I thought. Maybe it leads outside. I squeezed into it and was surprised that I could stand up. I slipped slowly along the side and waited for my eyes to adjust. Up ahead I heard a whirring sounded like the things Mutt, Fergus and I used to sprawl on behind buildings. Air blew out and cooled us when it was hot and kept us warm when it was cold.

~ ~ ~ ~

"I know what you're talking about," Chubby said. "There's a place like that back of one of the dormitories. I go there sometimes. Hold on. Gotta dig a hole."

"Me, too."

"Gotta a hairball, too. It'll take awhile."

I went on when he got back under the shack.

~ ~ ~ ~

I came to a corner that went to the right and heard the whirring getting louder and felt air pulling my faraawi forward. When I got closer, I saw something that looked like a bunch of wires hooked onto each other. Behind the wires was this shiny round thing that flashed little sparkly lights and I could see through it. The wind got stronger as I got closer; I felt like I was being sucked up by something.

Between the thing with wires and the side of the hole was an opening big enough to get my head and shoulders into. That's all I needed, so I pushed through and found myself falling toward the ground. I righted my body and landed on my feet. I was outside.

I looked up to where I'd been and realized it was going to be hard to get up there and crawl back. But, the side of the building was rough, and I decided I could climb up if my claws would hold me. It worried me that Adele might panic if she found me gone, so I leaped to the wall and spread my claws, digging them in as deep as I could. The first time I tried, I fell back to the ground, but I made it the second time and ducked in the opening. I ran to the closet and climbed down, using one of Ned's suits that smelled a lot like him. I got to the living room, just as Adele woke up.

"Where've you been?" She yawed, hopped down and started smoothing herself.

"I went looking for another way out of here besides the door. We may need it."

"Find one?"

"Yeah, in the closet in the bedroom. Wanna see?"

"Sure."

She was impressed. I took her to the wire thing and showed her the opening to the outside, but we didn't jump out. I figured if we needed to use it, we wouldn't be coming back.

"Why wreck your claws," I said, and she agreed.

The shiny round thing still whirred inside the wires. It looked dangerous.

"Let's keep away from that," I said.

Later, while we lounged on the sofa, Harriet returned, and we got the shock of our lives. She had a huge kilaab with her, mostly black with a lighter color on its face and very cold eyes. He mocked us with his stare, licked his lips and sat next to Harriet. I knew we needed to get to our escape hole, now and fast. The odd smell in the apartment? It was kilaab.

"This is Schatzi, guys, and he is a lover, not a fighter." She rubbed his ears and scratched his chin. He lied to Harriet by wagging his tail, but he glared at us like we were supper. Schatzi was not her pet; he was a moocher that I could see was dangerous.

"Move slowly to the bedroom," I whispered to Adele. "Do not run. And, do not take your eyes off him. If he comes toward us, back off slowly to the bedroom, swell up as much as you can, and hiss like crazy. I doubt he'll do anything with Harriett here, but kalb are messed up in the head."

I knew kalb didn't understand our language, so I didn't try to lower my voice; they can follow a few words from bašar, but that's about all their simple brains will allow.

I felt Adele tremble. I nudged her hard with my nose and guided her toward the bedroom. Schatzi glowered at our every move. I saw his muscles tense, and he didn't make a sound, something Mutt told me meant they were about to attack. My guts knotted.

Harriet petted Schatzi and smiled. "He's a harmless guy. Really, he's a sweet dog. Wouldn't hurt a fly." She scratched behind his ears roughly, leaned down and kissed the top of his head. Schatzi's gaze turned vacant and far away like he'd already killed us and was crunching our bodies. "You three get to know each other, now." She went to the kitchen.

Schatzi's eyes darkened and opened wide. He smiled and lowered his head. We backed closer to the bedroom ready to tear out if he so much as wiggled his ears. The bedroom was close but still too far to make a run for it. Adele panicked, swelled to twice her size and hissed hard enough to blow a dumpster down.

"Not yet," I yelled. She was too frightened to hear me.

We got to the closet, and I leaped to the shelf, but when Adele sprang, he caught her in the middle of her body and shook her so hard that she and his head blurred. I heard a snap like a twig just before he flung her across the bedroom and smashed her against the wall. She rolled off onto her back. Blood oozed from her mouth and her beautiful green eyes lost their light. She was dead, I knew, but I couldn't go to her. Schatzi glared at me, now, with his bloody, slobbering mouth dripping. He came closer. I shot through the opening and galloped to the wire thing where I stopped and looked back. I could hear Schatzi whining and trying to claw his way up to the shelf. I hunkered down. All I could think of was Adele laying there with vacant eyes and blood dripping out of her.

"Adele, Adele," I cried. I was stunned and scared and so lost already without her. I thought about going back and letting that horrible animal kill me. It might be better than the pain I was having. "Oh, Adele," I said aloud, "I can't live without you." I sobbed until I was sick.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby cried. I cried. I saw again that beautiful, lifeless body laying there, bleeding, my kiths moving inside her. They never saw life.

"Oh, Gaylord, how terrible that was for you. How did you stand it?" He sobbed and looked at me.

"I don't know, Chubby. I don't remember much, except the sight of her, dead and mangled. I died inside."

"I loved her so much," Chubby said through his sobs. "She was my best friend." He was still crying when he crawled out from under the shack. He stood for a long time staring into the dark. I went to him and put my front leg around him and pulled him close.

"She loved you, too, Chubby. She always told me stories about you and about how you were her hero." I licked his face and pushed my head into his. "I thought I'd die when she was killed, and I'm sorry I had to describe it to you." I hugged him again and went to dig a hole. "Take some time, Chubby. I don't have to tell it all tonight."

"Yes you do," he said. "I need to know what happened to that evil kilaab that killed my Adele." He couldn't stop crying.

We crawled back under the shack and I went on with the story.

~ ~ ~ ~

I laid there and thought about killing Schatzi. I imagined him laying dead before me. I'd watch with glee while his blood gushed from his body. I'd open his neck until it gushed like a fountain, and I would stand in front of his massive head, watch the life fade from his eyes and laugh.

But, I knew killing him was impossible. He was a huge monster, and his jaws were so strong that he'd ripped Adele open with one bite. I started to cry again and later dozed out of exhaustion. Harriet's voice woke me.

"Schatzi! Oh, for God's sake. What have you done?" She stopped talking for a moment. "Oh, my God. You killed her. Bad dog. Bad, bad dog." She paused again. "Gaylord! Where are you, Gaylord? Kitty, kitty, kitty," she sang out. I always hated that kitty, kitty, kitty thing. I was an amait not a kith. "Kitty, kitty, kitty," she continued to call and I could tell she was moving around the apartment looking for me. She even searched the closet below my hiding place.

"What did you do with Gaylord," she asked Schatzi. "Kill him and eat him?" She walked out of the bedroom. "I dread Ned's coming home. Bad dog, Schatzi. Bad, bad dog."

I decided I could not leave until I settled the score with Schatzi. Killing him was out of the question; besides, I didn't want him dead. I wanted to hurt him so bad that he'd never forget Adele or me: something so bad that Harriet and Ned would never forget, either.

Then I thought of you, Chubby. My god, I thought, this was too much. A kilaab killed Chubby's maama in the same way. What was it about kalb and amai hating each other? We don't run in the same circles, and we're so not like each other in all respects. What brings on the hate? Amai can get along with skunks, even, so why not kalb? Suddenly, I thought, was my sister given away, or did Schatzi kill her, too? I could not believe this was happening.

I mulled over all the ways I could hurt Schatzi forever, and then it came to me: I'd blind him. I'd take his sight like he took Adele's sight, and life, and leave him to stumble his way forever. I'd attack him at End of Light. Kilaab see pretty well in the dark, but nothing like amai.

I smiled; Schatzi was already blind.

I grabbed some more sleep because I knew I'd need it. I woke up and could tell from the silence nothing was moving outside my hiding place. I snuck out to the shelf, waited to make sure nothing was going on and hopped to the floor.

I crawled on my belly to the living room. Schatzi was asleep on the sofa. Perfect, I thought, I can get him from behind, rip his eyes out and be gone like a shot.

I jumped up real quiet like on the sofa, then up on the back so I was over him. He didn't move, so I knew he was deep in sleep, probably dreaming about killing Adele. I sat down and ran my plan through my mind again: Jump hard on his head, claws out. When he rears, which will be quick, dig into his eyes with all my might and rake and pull. It all had to be done very fast because he'd shake his head and scream, and bringing Harriet and Ned. Then leap down like a flash, race to the hole and be gone like a puff of smoke. I could feel his eyes tearing apart, and I could hear his cries of agony, my new favorite music.

I gathered myself like I was going for a rat and jumped. He loomed up. I shifted and plunged my claws into his eyes and began ripped and tearing with all I had. He screamed and shook his head, but I held on with my back claws and continued shredding his eyes. Just before he threw me off, I raked his nose a few times until I saw blood pouring out. I leaped from the sofa and dashed to the bedroom, sprinted across Harriet and Ned who were awake now, lunged for my hole and was at the wire thing while Schatzi's screams got louder and louder.

"What the hell?" I heard Ned say. Their footsteps banged across the floor. "Jesus Christ!" Ned screamed. "What the hell happened? Look at his eyes, Harriet. They're bleeding like crazy. How in the hell?"

"Gaylord did it. He came back. I saw him run across our bed."

"What? Are you nuts? Gaylord's a cat. How could a cat do this?"

"Okay, explain what else could shred his eyes like that. I say Gaylord got him. Revenge for that female Schatzi killed."

"Don't be stupid, Harriet. Come on. Cats can't think. No way."

I could hear Ned trying to quiet Schatzi who was panting and whining so loud I could hear him way back in the hole. I loved it, Chubby. I loved it to death.

"Okay, so what was it?" Harriet asked. "Maybe a ghost? Oh, yeah, that's it. The ghost of the female cat. She came back and mauled him. Makes sense."

"Okay, Harriet, sarcasm is not called for here. I'll find Gaylord and kill him."

"How will you prove it was him?"

"He'll probably have blood all over him."

"Maybe. But, cats clean themselves, remember?"

I sniffed around on myself and found some blood. It tasted so disgusting I almost puked, but I got it off.

"Do you know how much I paid for this dog? He was a stud. I was going to finance part of grad school with his stud fees. Now, I'll have to have him put down."

"You'll never find Gaylord. He's probably in Chicago by now."

"How? How'd he get out of here? No. I'll find him. He's hidden somewhere." He paused. "You sound like you're on his side."

"Well, Schatzi did kill his mate. I'm not on his side, but I do understand."

"Harriet, we're talking about animals, here. Dogs, cats. You're anthropomorphizing."

Whatever that means, I thought.

"So?" I heard her say and heard her footsteps as she went back to the bedroom. Soon bedsprings squeaked.

I never knew what Ned did or said later because I pushed through the opening and took off across the campus. I was so overjoyed knowing Schatzi was going to die that I almost went back and said, "Thank you."

Yeah, I'm cold blooded and heartless, but I watched the love of my life get killed, and it would have been an insult to Adele if I had not done something to hurt that sack of khara.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby laughed. "Bast, I wish I coulda seen that. Gaylord, I may have been Adele's hero, but you're mine. I admire and love you, Young Tom."

"Thanks, Chubby. Coming from you that completes my life if I die right now."

"Hell, you'll live forever. Wonderful, Gaylord. You blinded that fiend."

~ ~ ~ ~

While I ran across the lawns of the campus, all I could think of was Adele's crumpled body with blood trickling from her mouth and her dead eyes. How I wanted to run to her and cover her so that Schatzi could not get to her again, so that nothing could ever hurt her again.

And then it hit me: what would they do with her body? It hadn't crossed my mind until then because I was so focused on getting even with the kilaab. I turned and raced back to the apartment building.

I knew they had thrown her in the garbage. Bašar will do that because they think we're not worth taking care of after we're dead. Two garbage cans sat in back of their place and both had tight lids. I jumped on top of one and tried to pull the lid up, but I was pulling against myself. I got down and ran hard into it, toppling it. The lid popped off and out rolled Adele's body, her blood was dried and our tiny kiths that Schatzi had squeezed from her when he tore her open were silent. They were so little, smaller even than mice but with no faraawi. Her eyes, her wonderful eyes, were still open but misted over. She died horribly, and her sweet face remained frozen in terror. I laid beside her and wept until I had no more tears.

Everything I am began with her. She was warm and gentle, and tough, and she smelled so good that I became aware I was really a tom. I wept more, and I was filled with unending love and agonizing grief, something I had never experienced and which crushed me until I could hardly breathe.

I decided to take her body somewhere and leave it like Fergus and I did for Mutt. Thinking about her being flung into a garbage dump broke my heart because she needed to be somewhere surrounded by other living things, not covered up with the slimes of a dump. I drug her body away and left it nestled in a large patch of shrubs next to a brook that ran through the campus, a favorite place where we hung out a lot of times. Adele liked it because we couldn't be seen easily, and I liked it because I was with her.

"Sleep well, my Sweet Adele," I said when I had hidden her among the tall plants. "I will never stop loving you." I turned quickly and ran away.

And I ran and ran because I was crushed by grief and guilt that I had caused Adele's death. If I hadn't taken her back, insisted we connect with Harriet and Ned, she would be alive. I hated myself. I wanted to die. I ran across crowded streets hoping to be smashed to death; I ran to get away from myself. Finally, I collapsed, crawled under a parked car, and wept until I fell asleep. Chubby, I still blame myself. I always will. I led her to her death.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chubby moved close and hugged me. "Listen, kid, you had no way of knowing that kilaab was there. It was a tragedy, but it wasn't your fault. What you did to the kilaab made up for any blame you think you had. Forgive yourself. Adele would want you to. Think of her and what she'd want for you."

I snuggled closer. He licked my tears away. I looked at him and smiled. "Thanks, Chubby. I've beat myself up every day since it happened, but I know you're right. Adele would smack me silly and tell me to straighten up and get a life. My life's okay, now. I'll tell you about it. Thanks again, Old Friend."

"Any time, Junior. Now, get back to your story. I know there's a lot more."

"Give me a minute." I went outside and just breathed. Chubby was right, and I knew that, especially after I saw her in a dream. I'd tell him about that, too.

I took care of a hairball that'd worked on me for a long time, and then squirmed back under the shack and resumed my tale.

Chapter 17

_You know there are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human._ Calvin and Hobbes

The next few days were foggy, not only because it was foggy, but because my mind was in a fog. I couldn't eat and the idea of hanging around with other amai made me sick. I thought about finding Fergus and going back to the lake, but I couldn't pull myself together to do it. I crawled into the little hole in the wall Adele and I shared and cried until I passed out. I dreamed over and over about Schatzi killing her and wake up outta my mind with anger and grief. I saw Adele right in front of me all the time, but it wasn't memories of our happy times but of her laying dead. I was dying inside, Chubby, and I didn't care, in fact I was happy about it. I thought maybe we could be together again if I died.

Then, Tuyuur Song I was jolted out of a restless sleep by a racket that sounded like everything was crashing down. Amai were screaming, bašar were yelling and shouting, motors were shrieking, the garbage cans rattled like they were rolling down the street. But worst of all I heard booming and popping like Mutt, Fergus and I heard one night at the lake. The sky caught on fire, Chubby. The light blew up and splashed all over the sky and we couldn't see. Colors like blue and green, and others shot up from everywhere across the water. We were scared to death and hid in Mutt's bush and listened to the bangs and pops with our eyes.

Anyway, I crawled out of to see what was going on in the alley. Swarms of bašar were chasing and trapping amai, and knocking over garbage cans and anything else that got in their way. Garbage was all over the place. Amai screamed as bašar caught them with nooses and metal things, and then giggled and laughed as they plunged them into bags where they fought each other because they were so scarred. I hated bašar then and wished I could blind a few like Schatzi.

Suddenly, I found myself dangling from the end of a pole. I couldn't breathe. Someone plunged me in a sack, the noose was removed and I found myself in a pile of fighting, hissing amai. I yelled at them to clam down, but they were so scared they couldn't hear. So, I rolled into a ball and sank to the bottom. Before long I felt us being placed on something firm, and the other amai began to settle down.

"What is going on?"

"We're gonna get killed. This is how bašar get rid of us."

I spoke up. "Chubby told me about this. Ever so often bašar collect us and take us somewhere in order to get rid of us. We do too much damage, they say, and we do khara and beh yeh everywhere, leaving a stink. Whoever said we'd be killed is probably right."

"Who are you?"

"Gaylord."

"Ah, Adele's friend. Is Adele here?"

I swallowed hard to keep from crying. "Adele is dead."

"No."

"How?"

"Killed by a kilaab."

"Oh no. Where? What kilaab?"

"Tell you later." I was tired of answering questions and didn't want to cry. "I blinded the kilaab."

"Good for you, Gaylord."

Then, whatever we were on, or in, began to move. After a long time we stopped and our bag was lifted up and carried. We were slammed down, the bag opened and we were dumped out into a large cage where it seemed all the amai in the world were gathered. The mewing, yowling, growling and purring were deafening. "This is the end," I said to a scruffy yellow tabby that was lounging in the dirt next to me.

"Yeah. But we'll get fed for a while before they do it. Food is food."

Now, there was a street-smart amait if I ever heard one. I smiled and strolled on through the clowder to see if I knew anyone. I spotted Kibitz scratching himself against the fence.

"Hey Kibitz." I wiggled my way through the clowder.

"Gaylord."

Kibitz was an enormous amait with long faraawi and a huge tail. He looked like a tabby in the face, but that was as far as it went. Kibitz was a prankster. Loved to play and scuffle, but he had to watch that he didn't hurt smaller amai, and standing by Kibitz we were all small amai. Adele had introduced me to Kibitz who lived under a wooden box near Smokey's Steak House.

"What's going on here?" I asked.

"Yearly clean up. Some of us will be killed, others adopted and taken to prison. What I hate is that I'll have to go through escaping again."

"Yeah, me too." I flopped down and Kibitz joined me. I looked like a tiny hairball next to him.

"All the mollies are over there in the next pen 'cuz they don't want a lot of settled queens to give away or kill. Oh, by the way, I heard about Adele," Kibitz said. "So very sorry, Gaylord."

"Bad news travels fast."

"Good news does, too. I heard about the kilaab. Love it."

"He's gonna be killed."

"Sweet. How do you know?"

"Heard the owner say so just before I escaped."

"Oh happy day." He leaned down and we touched noses.

A tom bašar came through the gate and looked around. "How many of these poor animals do we have, Lou?" he asked.

A short tom bašar with a big belly and long hair came up to the fence. "Two hundred thirteen. A few died on the way here."

"I hate this day. I love cats." He made his way carefully into the middle of us. "I have cats at home, five of them, and they're the kids me and the missus couldn't have."

"Never had either one, kids or cats. Got dogs."

I looked at Kibitz. "It takes all kinds," he said and yawned. "Wish they'd get on with it."

"How many are salvageable?" the first bašar asked.

Salvageable. Like we were some old chair or beat up old car. Salvageable. I was insulted.

"Doc said maybe three quarters of them. Euthanize the rest."

"We'll wind up euthanizing all of them because nobody wants them. They're strays and usually wild as hell. Nobody wants them. Can't find homes for 'em. God I hate that. Look at them: poor little things, innocent and scared to death. God, how I hate killing anything, but cats especially."

"Hey, Pauly. You okay? Hey, they're just cats, man. Don't get all emotional. Plenty cats around. A few are adopted." Lou lit a cigarette.

"Well, Lou, you're not a cat person. You just don't understand." Pauly left the cage. Lou watched us for a while, and then followed Pauly.

"What does euthanize mean?" I asked Kibitz.

"Means they'll kill us," a glossy black said, striding up to us. "How you doin', Gaylord?" It was the black I fought to get to be first with Adele.

Chubby, my mouth dropped open and I stopped breathing. I'd killed this amait. His blood squirted into my mouth, and I saw his eyes glaze over and stop along with his breath. He was dead. Was this a ghost or something brought on by Adele's death?

"You're staring, Gaylord." He grinned. "I didn't die but I should have after you messed me up. I just passed out. One of my buddies drug me off and took care of me. You didn't notice 'cause you were puttin' it to Adele." He laughed out loud.

I stood up because I didn't know what mood he was in, but I dropped back down because my legs were weak like a kith. He looked at Kibitz who was still laying down. "Who's your friend," the black asked. I couldn't talk; only stare.

Kibitz got up. "I'm Kibitz, an old friend of Gaylord. You?"

"Kaddiska. Kaddy for short. Nice to meet ya, Kibitz."

They touched noses. Kibitz said, "You two met before, I take it."

"Yeah. Gaylord here whipped me so bad he thought he'd killed me. I thought he'd killed me, too, 'til I came around." He turned and looked at me as I continued to stare at him. "No hard feelings, Gaylord. I'm alive, at least for a while unless I can escape this joint and not get put down."

I found my voice, which was pretty raspy and dry. "How'd you know my name?" I looked deep into his glowing eyes and shivered, remembering our fight. He was tough.

"You're a legend, Gaylord. I asked the clowder later and they told me: Gaylord belongs to Adele, and Adele belongs to Gaylord. He'll kill you very easily if anyone tries to change that arrangement. My only answer is, I know from experience."

I started to breathe again. I'm not ashamed to tell you, Chubby, I felt proud to be called a legend.

"Adele's dead."

"I heard. It's all over town. What you did to the kilaab is all over town, too. Strengthens your place as a legend. Good job, Gaylord. We're all proud of you. In fact I'm braggin' now how I fought you and lived."

That cracked Kibitz up. "Listen, you two mugs make me a little sick. I mean we're facing death here, and you're joking around making nice to each other. Let's try to get outta here, hey."

"Relax," Kaddy said. "I've been here before, and that bašar they call Pauly? He'll let us go. Late at night, he comes in and lets us go. He's really a sucker."

"Well, he almost makes me want to believe in bašar again," I said. "Before I escaped, there were times I enjoyed them. But I saw their bad side this time, and I lost all faith. Pauly may be one of the good ones, I can't tell. They lie a lot. But if he's okay, I'm going home with him."

"That can be arranged," Kaddy said. "You know how to work them?"

I laughed. "You're looking at a master. I could make a kilaab love me, except they make me puke just thinkin' about them."

"I knew a kilaab once that was kind," Kibitz said.

"Probably you were bigger than he was," Kaddy said.

"Don't get personal," Kibitz said and cuffed Kaddy playfully. "She was really sweet. We played together, rolled and tumbled. She'd lick me with that soft tongue of hers . . ."

"Now, I'm gonna puke," Kaddy said.

"Me, too," I said. "Her breath had to be a killer."

"No, both you guys are so wrong. Her name was Bella, and she had shaggy red faraawi and soft floppy ears. Always smilin' and waggin' her tail. Anyway, I liked her. She never once hurt me or chased me in anger. Always wanted to play. I'm here to tell you that there are some good kalb just as there are good bašar."

"Good bašar I might believe," I said. "Kalb are all alike. They're mean, evil, fowl, ugly, stinky, and the world would be better off without them."

"Yeah," Kaddy said.

"Well, there are bašar who think the same about us," Kibitz said as he lay back down. "That's why we're here."

"They're wrong about us, though," Kaddy said. "Kalb should be here, not us."

"They do kalb like this, too," Kibitz said.

Chapter 18

_Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings._ Oliver Herford

Just like Kaddy said, Pauly returned after Time of Owls and opened the gate. He didn't have to coax us much because we were all very willing to make a run for it. This was my chance.

Shoving my way through the clowder, I got to Pauly and began working him. I meowed and purred up a storm, rubbed against his legs, reared up and kneaded him gently while I increased the volume on my purrs.

"Hey, you." He had a gruff voice. "What? You think I'm gonna take you home? Is that what this mauling is all about? Or do you want food? Probably both, huh?"

I sat down and looked up at him and wondered for a moment if I'd made a mistake. Maybe he didn't like amai after all. Then he picked me up and nestled me in his arms. I usually hate to be picked up, but I was warm for the first time since getting caught.

"What are you, anyway?" he asked. "Male or female?" Placing me under one arm, he lifted my tail.

"Hey, that's personal stuff down there," I yelled, but, of course, he didn't understand.

"A tomcat bold and beautiful." He turned me around and cuddled me closer.

"Why didn't you ask?" All he heard was a meow and a couple of husky trills and chirps.

"All right, you can come with me. Lord knows I don't need another cat, but I think you're special." I kissed his hand. "Hey, you bite me and it's all over." I guess I used too much teeth, so I kissed him again, softer. "Yeah, that's better." He took me to his car and put me in the back seat.

I'd never been in a car before without being jailed in a cage with Maama and my sister, Lamis, going to our despised vet. Frankly, I was a little scared, and it smelled funny in there, like garbage had been tossed in. I squatted, tucked my front legs under me and braced my back legs to run if I had too. It wasn't long until Pauly opened the door and got in.

"You doin' okay back there? We'll be home real quick. Just live in the next block."

He started the car and we drove off, but I stayed squatted just in case. When we got to his house, he put me under one arm and walked to the door.

"I got to give you a name," he said.

I wanted to tell him I had a name, in fact several names, but that would be a waste of time. Let him name me, I thought. I know my name, so whatever he calls me is his business.

As soon as we passed through the door, I heard amai jabbering everywhere. "Oh, for Bast's sake. Pauly brought another amait in here," I heard one say. Lots of loud protests followed as he put me down among a clowder ranging from bedraggled looking alleys to a pudgy white who just stared at me from out blue eyes and said nothing. I knew she was deaf; almost all of her kind are.

"Who are you?" a faded yellow tabby asked right in my face.

"I'm." I hesitated. Should I give my name as Gaylord or Nebibi, I wondered. But what did it matter? None of them knew me.

"I'm . . . My bašar called me Gaylord, my maama called me Nebibi, so take your pick."

A fluffy gray stripe came up. "You come from over by the lake?"

"I used to live by the lake with some friends."

"Know an amait called Fergus?"

"Yeah. He's my best friend. How . . ."

"Fergus is a rotten kilaab. I ran into him when I was out for a while and he told me about you. Said you were one hell of a fighter. That right?"

I looked around at the faces of the other amai, but I couldn't tell if they meant me harm or were just curious. I was shocked, to say the least. Not that they knew about me, but that Fergus had been so near.

"Is Fergus still around?"

"Nah. He left. Said he was lookin' for you, but didn't have time to stick around."

"And why is my friend a rotten kilaab?"

"Caught a rat and wouldn't share."

I laughed. "Yeah, well, that sounds like Fergus. Lived all his life on the streets, and if he caught it, it's his and don't mess with him."

"He's still a rotten kilaab. We all share here."

I felt a little miffed about what she said about Fergus, but I decided to drop it and play along. "Hey, no problem with me. I'm a sharer from way back."

"We'll see." It was the faded yellow tabby.

"So, where do I sleep?"

"You know we got to put on a show for the bašar, don't you? A little hissing, a little screaming, some jumps and weaves, mock fights. You know the routine."

"No, I don't know the routine. What are you talking about?"

"You ever live with bašar before?" the gray asked.

"Yeah. I was probably born a house."

"Other amai?"

"Yeah. My maama and sister."

"Oh, well, that explains it. You never had to put on a show. Well, here they think when strange amai get together, we fight for territory until we choose a leader. So, they expect us to carry on for a while. It's sort of fun. No one gets hurt."

"That's crazy," I said.

"That's bašar," said yellow tabby.

"Okay. When do we start? And by the way, how about some names? You know mine, so how's about yours. Oh, you're all mollies, right?"

"Right. I am Katia," said yellow tabby, "but they call me Goldie." She turned and looked toward the stairs.

The fluffy gray said, "My real name is Gato, but here they call me Grey Ghost."

"Neko over here," said a black and white amait lounging in the corner. Her eyes were completely invisible because of a black mask that covered them. "But I'm called Cop Car by them for some unknown reason."

A gorgeous amait came walking toward me, a sleek gray with yellow highlights and black stripping. "My name is Tesau. But the amai around here call me Mack, except for Pauly and Trish; they call me Millicent." She was a knockout.

"So, what do I call you?"

"Take your pick." He voice was smoky smooth

"Why Mack?" I'd never heard an amait called Mack.

"Ask Neko. She's the one who dubbed me with that."

"She's what bašar call a mackerel tabby." Neko strolled over from a corner. "I've lived with bašar all my life, like most of us, and I heard them talking about amai and how they'd like to have a mackerel tabby. So, they got one, called Ivy, a pompous little twit I couldn't stand. Never said anything to me, never even looked at me. Hissed if I got near her, but groveled like a kilaab in front of bašar to get her way. Eventually, they gave me away because I didn't crawl all over them, I guess. I found myself here, thank goodness.

"When I met Mack here, she looked just like Ivy, and at first I thought she might act like her, too. But, she turned out to be sweet and kind, and I love her a lot." Neko butted her head against Mack, and they went to grooming each other.

"Quite a story, Neko. If you don't mind, think I'll call you Millicent. Mack sounds like a kilaab's name, like it might fit a tom, but not a mollie." I wanted to say that she was too beautiful to be called Mack, but I was surrounded by mollies and chose to wake up alive the next morning. I looked over at an amait with blue eyes and a sweet face. "What's her name?" I walked over to her. She made me think of Adele, but she wasn't exactly like Adele. This one was white like snow with none of the black that flecked Adele's faraawi.

"We don't know," said Katia. "She's deaf. We call her Abyad because she's white, but the bašar named her Snowball."

"Because she's white? Gee, so original! I figured she was deaf. "

I nuzzled Abyad and we pushed our heads together. She wasn't Adele, but her sparkling, clear eyes put a lump in my throat.

"How do you get through to her?"

"You gotta make sure she's looking at you when you talk to her," Katia answered. "We don't know how she does it, but if she can see our faces, she understands what we're saying."

"She's so sweet and loving that we treat her like a kith," Neko chimed in. "And we protect her. When Pauly or Trish come in, we make sure Abyad sees them."

"Looks like you got it together. Say, where's the box. I need to go." I hadn't gone since before Tuyuur Song and I was desperate.

"We go outside," Millicent said. "Come on."

All of us went to a door, which had a smaller swinging door at the bottom. Millicent pushed it open and hopped out, followed by the others including Abyad. I was last, Chubby, trying to be a polite tom, hey.

"This is excellent," I said as I went over to a place that looked sandy and prepared a hole. Two of the others did the same while the rest stretched and scent marked. I noticed there was a fence around the yard, but one that any amait could jump without trouble. Looked like we could escape any time we wanted. Wonderful, I thought as I took the beh yeh that makes your teeth itch. You know what I mean, Chubby. We returned to the house the way we went out, and Neko showed me where to sleep, which I did as if dead. I was warm and safe, so far.

Chapter 19

_Dogs eat. Cats dine_. Ann Taylor

Food was served at Tuyuur Song, and it was good–not great–but good. We had two big bowls, one with meat and gravy and the other a dry food that tasted sorta fishy. The clowder told me the dry was good for me because it contained minerals and vitamins, whatever that is. I didn't care for it because I'd eaten real food that had lived moments before. The meat was okay but it wasn't fresh and warm.

None of the others had ever hunted, which made me sad and a little aggravated with bašar for having imprisoned them for so long. But, they could go outside, which meant they could escape. Why didn't they? I made a mental note to find out. But, all in all it was a good place, and I was going to like it until shemu.

Our play-acting for Pauly and Trish went well, and as Katia said, they bought it. And it was fun, pretending to fight, growling, hissing and batting each other around with soft paws. I was sorry when it was over.

My interest in Millicent increased, but I did feel guilty for being interested in a mollie so soon after Adele's death. I'd been there for several days, and each day Millicent stayed close to me and talked. I was a little annoyed at first because she was always around, and I avoided her and tried to act surly and cranky. But, soon I started listening to her and found that she was very bright and experienced in ways I hadn't considered, like walking on a leash with a kilaab and doing tricks, which she showed me. Fascinating stuff, but sad, I thought, because it only meant she was fully controlled by bašar.

"Just where do you come from?" I asked her one-day.

"From a very nice place, actually. The bašar who lived with me were wonderful. I loved them very much."

"So why are you here?"

"They were killed in a car accident. I found out from other bašar who came in the house. I was scared out of my mind with all those strange bašar coming in and out, and one day one of them tried to pick me up and I bit her. So, they got rid of me."

"Oh, wow. Wonder they hadn't killed you on the spot."

"That was the idea. Pauly was supposed to do it, but you've met Pauly. I really don't think he could kill anything."

I rolled on my side and looked at her. She was gorgeous, all right. Her belly faraawi was white and soft like feathers on a tuyuur and marked with splashes of deep gray with darker stripes. She had four white paws, and a white bib that started around nose and mouth. Her tail was slim, but straight and strong and tall.

And her eyes: Glistening yellow and filled with tender expression. Since Adele, I hadn't seen another amait as beautiful.

"You're an eye amait, ain't ya," Chubby interrupted.

"Guess so. Adele's eyes captured me the first day, and Millicent's got to me right away, too."

"Tell me more," I said to Millicent. "What was it like when you got here?"

"Intense. You gotta remember I'd never known any other home. My bašar, Matt and Carol, got me when I was just weaned. I don't even remember my maama. Until I was at least a year old, I thought I had been born there and was the only amait alive."

"How'd you find out you weren't?"

"I heard them talk about it. I guess my maama lived with a friend of Carol's who talked about me. Said I was the only one of my brothers and sisters marked the way I am between my eyes. Tabby, that is. Carol came, saw and adopted me on the spot.

"Anyway, when I came here it was the end of my world. I was terrified. They were the first amai I had ever seen. Everything about them frightened me, even their scent, which I had never encountered except on myself. So I went a little crazy. I hated everyone and everything. I hissed and growled; I screamed at any move they made that I didn't understand, and I didn't understand most; I wouldn't eat; I stopped sleeping, and I bit Pauly once when he reached out. Any amait that got close to me got smacked hard."

"You bit Pauly?" I laughed. "You were really asking for it."

"Yeah. I fully expected to be killed, but I wasn't. And that's why I don't think Pauly could kill anything."

"So when did you come around?"

"Took me forever, it seemed. Then one day Abyad came to me and we talked."

"That's Snowball, right? But she's deaf."

"She talks with her body. You gotta watch carefully because she's hard to understand, but she can talk in her own way."

"Okay. So what'd she say?"

"Said I was being unfair, that Pauly and Trish were trying to help me and really liked me. Said she'd been there most of her life and had been treated like a pet amait. She said I needed to loosen up and give everyone a chance. But, I was stubborn, self-absorbed and stupid. I was not about to do that, but deep down I knew she was all right.

"Then she told me I was grieving. I didn't know what that was, and she said it was feeling sad when someone close to us dies."

"I know about that. I know a lot about that."

"How so?"

I frowned. "Never mind. You go on. I'll tell you later. So, Abyad said all that with her body?"

"Yeah. Took a while for it all to get through to me, but I understood, eventually." She went after an itch on her belly before she said, "Abyad told me she was born in an alley behind a tavern. She was the only mollie out of five. Not long after she was born some tom bašar found them and proceeded to stomp Abyad's maama to death along with her brothers. Abyad escaped by crawling under something, she doesn't remember what, and the gaga didn't see her."

"Uh, gaga? What's that?" I asked.

"We use it sometimes for cruel bašar. You never heard it?"

"Nope. New one on me. Gaga. Interesting."

"Anyway, she told me she laid there forever until Pauly just happened along and heard her crying. The rest is pretty obvious. She was brought here. End of story, except that she was so little she had to be fed by Pauly, and for a long, long time she just moped around because she couldn't hear and was so scared and hurt by what she'd seen that she wanted to die. She said for me to count my blessings because I had it pretty good compared to her.

"And you know, she's right. Matt and Carol are dead. I can't bring them back. So, I started eating. As you see, we have excellent food; also a warm place to sleep, and two sweet bašar who obviously think a lot of us. I mean they don't have to take any of us in."

I listened to her and thought of Adele and how tough she was, and I wondered if it might have been better if Millicent had been turned out and made to fend for herself. It's possible she might have become a real amait like me. My face must have registered something because she said, "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about something."

"What?"

"I was thinking about the difference between you and me." I paused for a moment and looked into those wonderful eyes. "Ever eat a rat you've killed?"

"No." She never shifted her gaze.

"A mouse? A tuyuur? Or a baby araanib or singaab?"

"No, I never have. Never had to." She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. "What are you getting at, Gaylord?"

"Abyad was right. You have been very lucky. Lived a charmed life. In fact you're still living a charmed life."

"I don't understand." Her eyes narrowed and filled with darkness.

"I spent a lot of time on the streets, in alleys behind dives, in cracks so small only an amait or a rat could squeeze in, and every meal I ate I had to hunt and kill. Territory was fought for, not given. I'm proud to say I can survive anywhere, good or bad. I'm a real amait."

She stared at me with those darkening eyes. For an instant I was afraid she'd jump me. Then she hissed at me and backed away. "You are the most arrogant, insufferable amait I have ever known. So you're a real amait. What's that make us poor sniveling little beasts? Unreal amai?" Her eyes were nearly black and she was growling low in her throat. She reacted exactly like Adele had.

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant I have more experience, that's all. I mean, am I right in saying that none of you have ever hunted and killed a meal? If I'm wrong I apologize."

"I don't know if you're wrong. I just know you're disgusting in your attitude. Who do you think you are coming in here and telling me that you're better than we are because you've eaten a rat or singaab or whatever? Just because we're indoor amai and haven't had to struggle to exist, does not make us lesser amai. Maybe some of them have lived on the street, I don't know. But whether they have or haven't, they are just as good as you are."

"No, Millicent, they're not. There's not one of you who could make it for a day on the streets without help."

"Will you get out of here! Go out now for a beh yeh and just keep going. You don't belong here. We don't need to have you around looking down on us. Leave!"

She hissed again and screamed at me, arching her back and baring her claws. I didn't want her to come at me because I didn't want to hurt her, so I backed off, turned and went for the swinging door. Once outside I cleared the fence and took off across the field.

Chapter 20

_It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming._ Adlai Stevenson

I was bummed out and depressed, so I headed to the lake to find Fergus. Millicent's voice and her screams rang in my ears, and as I ran I got madder and madder at her. I was not attacking her or the rest of those amai, Chubby. I was trying to point out, just as she pointed out, that we all come from different places and we all carry loads of stuff with us. Good stuff and bad stuff. I admitted to myself that I had poured it on a little strong about my experiences in the street, but it was true. I can survive anywhere and anytime. And I am an expert hunter and killer. If that makes me better than they are, so be it.

~ ~ ~ ~

"You are so full of yourself. You know that, don't you?" Chubby was up yawning and stretching.

"But I don't think I'm better. I think I'm just more experienced in a different way. All of us are good at something, Chubby. Adele was an expert at finding food in dumpsters, and loving everyone. Fergus was great at bringing tuyuurs down, and Mutt . . . well, Mutt was good at just about everything. And you, you old mouser, is there anything you can't do?"

"At my age? Yes, and don't get smart mouthed."

"I'll be good, but I was sure all those amai at Pauly's house, including Millicent, were good at lots of things." I took a deep breath and yawned, too. "So, I decided it was a losing fight with amai like Millicent. They'd never understand, so I put her out of my mind."

"You're still full of yourself, and full of khara, if you don't mind me saying. You've got every reason to be proud of what you've done, but nobody's interested, Gaylord. Live what you are, don't wear it on your tail."

"Yeah, Chubby, you're right. I soon learned."

~ ~ ~ ~

It was Time of Owls when I found Fergus on his porch curled up in a chair. It felt good to be back in the old neighborhood, and it was especially good to see Fergus, who was knocked out when he saw me.

"Nebibi!" He jumped from the chair, tackling me and almost rolling us off the porch. "Where did you come from?" He was licking me to death.

"I really don't know," I tried to dodge his tongue without success. "It's a long story and I'm hungry. Let's get us a fat rat apiece."

"You're on." He licked me several more times on the side of my face and purred up a storm. I was home with my brother.

Our meal was easy to find, two rats in the basement of an apartment building. After gorging ourselves, we started cleaning and Fergus asked me to fill him in. I told him everything: about Adele and getting her settled, about her getting killed and how I took care of the kilaab, about getting picked up and taken to Pauly's, and about Millicent.

"Did I do something wrong when I said what I said to Millicent?" Fergus was older'n me and, just maybe, a little wiser.

"Yeah, you did." Fergus was always blunt. "Look, she's a mollie, okay. Wonderful, wonderful things, mollies, but they are different from us. Now, I didn't say better or worse; I said different. They're complicated, passionate and their feelings are on the surface. Respect is what they want, and you insulted her when you said you were better."

"But I am better."

"So?" He ginned.

"It's simply the truth. No, no, I take that back. I'm not better. I'm more experienced at being a real amait."

"See, that attitude even gets to me a little. Experienced at being a real amait. I hear you saying, I'm not a real amait."

"Fergus! For Bast's sake."

"Just hold on there. I know what you mean because I'm a real amait, too, but even though I know it, doesn't mean every amait has to know it. You live it. You don't go 'round braggin' about it.

"See what I mean? Millicent's a mollie that has lived a sheltered life. You, Nebibi, are an amait that's been around, and you scared her. And when you went bigheaded on her, she blew up. I can understand that. You're a great amait, but you gotta lot to learn about how to handle other amai, especially mollies. It's called finesse."

"What's finesse?"

"Not a clue. I heard some bašar use it and I liked the sound of it. I think it means keep your mouth shut about yourself and only reveal little bits. Stay mysterious. Let them ask about that sleek black tom with coppery eyes, the one who can fight better than any amait in the clowder. Don't spill your guts or your guts may be spilled."

When End of Light came, we went frolicking on the beach. We pitched and tumbled with each other in the cold sand, and chased one another up and down the beach until we were exhausted. Fergus was as strong and quick as ever, but I found I was slower.

"Livin' lazy like you've been is bad." He sprawled and panted at the bottom of a small dune.

I dropped beside him. "I think I've gained some weight."

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, bein' that I'm a polite amait." He yawned.

"When have you ever been polite?" I cuffed his head, which, of course, started another round of wrestling and chasing. When we finally stopped, tangled together in a knot, I was starving.

"I have to have food," I managed to grunt while gulping air. Fergus' whole body was throbbing violently as he gasped for breath.

"Soon . . .as . . .I . . .return . . . from . . .the . . .dead, we'll go."

We laid there until we shivered, then limped off toward the apartment building we had hunted in earlier.

"All we might find are mice. Bašar been settin' traps for rats and laying out poison for them. Big move to get rid of rats. Guess we ain't good enough."

"Yeah, well, rats are stupid enough to get trapped. And they'll eat anything. How come the mice aren't affected?"

"Some are, but the traps are too big to catch 'em. The poison can get to them because they'll eat anything, too, you know." We crawled in the crevice once again and looked around. "Not a rat in sight," Fergus said. "We were just lucky this afternoon when we found those two. I think it's gonna be mouse for dinner."

He crouched low and began to advance toward the sound of mice squeaking. I followed. Before long we'd killed a bunch of mice and collected them in a pile just outside the crack.

"Well, let's eat," I said. We dove in and gobbled them like it was the first meal we'd ever had.

Now, as you know, Chubby, eating mice is not my favorite thing. No offense, but, I mean, they're all right, and I would eat them all the time if I was starving and that's all I could find. But to me they just don't taste as good as a fat old rat. And, man, is that a change from when I first hit the streets, as I told you. I puked 'em, hey. Besides the taste, which I dig now, there's more to a rat; you gotta eat a lot of mice to make up for one rat.

My maama used to tell me, while we gobbled down some food I thought was delicious at the time, that we were supposed to eat mice. She said that in olden times, mice were all we had to eat and that we were expected to eat them or go away. Bašar back then kept us around to eat the mice so as to get rid of them. They didn't like mice around. I asked her how they tasted, and she said she didn't know because she'd always been a housie and never had to hunt. That was another reason I ran away; I wanted to hunt. But I always wondered how she knew all that stuff about rats and mice being a housie all her life.

Anyway, although rats are my favorite, with Fergus chomping away on mice with me they tasted better. Of course Fergus would eat anything as long as he killed it. Something that smelled rotten was not for him. Mutt? Well, all he had to know was that it was dead. How long didn't matter. We missed Mutt a lot. I washed my face. "I'm stuffed, Fergus. I think I'm going to explode."

"Ah, the delight of being painfully over fed."

It was way into End of Light and colder'n ice, so we decided not to go rambling all over town but to find a warm spot to stay. Fergus knew a place down near the train station that was warm and quiet. We headed there, not running because our bellies were so full, but walking fast enough not to freeze to death. It was that grate I told you about with a warm cloud puffing up, and it was in back of the train station out of sight. Flopping down close together with our tails wrapped around ourselves, we were fast asleep in an instant.

And then it began.

Chapter 21

_Lovers will no doubt point out that the elegance and dignity of cats are the consequence of their sojourn in the temples of the gods, where their attitudes and movements were regarded as divine prognostications. Be that as it may, it is obvious that the cat's wealth of expressions make it an ideal candidate for such a role. Unlike the dog, which either wags its tail or does not wag its tail, the cat possess a wide range to convey its emotions: It arches its back, makes its fur stand on end, meows, rubs itself against furniture and against humans, purrs, lashes its tail, spits and hisses. The priests of Bast, therefore, had ample material for interpretation._ Phillippe Diole

Without warning I was ripped from sleep by a pain in my belly that felt like I'd been hacked in two. I puked and began to shake. Fergus was up immediately.

"Nebibi? What's going on?" He licked my ear.

"Sick." I puked again. "Feel horrible." I tried to get up but couldn't, so I rolled on my side and stretched out. Fergus licked my face and laid down beside me. I looked at him and saw he was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him. His face dimmed and I fell into a dark place. A buzz sang in my ears, and I felt myself flip over once, then everything went black.

The next thing I knew I was walking along a street in a strange town. The street was paved with stones, and on my side white buildings with dark lines running down had upper parts hanging over the street so I could walk under them. On the other side were stonewalls with trees growing out of them. Strange scents I could not identify swirled around me as I walked slowly toward a house at the far end of the street. It had white walls, too, with dark stripes and a high roof.

When I got closer to the house, an old man with white faraawi on his head and face came out, followed by a small black and white mollie. The man sat a bowl of food down, stroked the amait who stroked him in turn with her tail, and went back into the house.

"Join me," the amait said, looking at me with beautiful green eyes, which surprised me being in a black and white amait.

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."

"You must be after being so sick" She smiled.

"How did you know I was sick?" I was astonished and scared. I stepped back.

"Don't be scared. Come and eat a little bit. You'll feel better."

I went into the yard and noticed it was a garden with beautiful flowers growing everywhere. That was the strange scent. She stood back and purred when I took a bite of her food, but when I looked up, huge trees surrounded me and blotted out the light. I was terrified, Chubby. So terrified that I couldn't move. I wrapped my tail around myself, hunkered down and began to wail. I was totally lost. It was a dream, only I could see and hear and taste and, most of all, smell. No other dream had let me to do any of that.

Fog appeared, which scared me more, and I heard rustling near me accompanied by a scent I recognized--Adele. I froze. A shadow came out of a large bush not far from me and walked in my direction. It crossed a splash of light, and I saw who it was and almost fainted. My mouth went dry and I couldn't blink my eyes. It was Adele.

All I could do was stare as she approached. Touching my nose with hers, nibbling playfully and licking my ears, she caressed me with her tail and laid down, snuggling to me. I had stopped breathing by then.

"So good to see you, Gaylord. I've missed." Her voice was soft like I remembered. "Have you missed me?"

I couldn't answer because my throat felt like I'd swallowed sand. All I could do was purr out loud. After I wagged my tongue around, I found enough spit to say, "Yes."

"I know this is scaring you insane, but try not to give in to it. You brought me here. I sprang from your memory of me and from the love you hold for me in your heart. Don't be afraid, sweet Gaylord, please. I've been with you from the day I died, but now you see me because you're close to death, and death opens our eyes and our minds completely."

She nuzzled my flank and patted me with her paw. I relaxed a bit and turned to look at her. She was so beautiful I cried.

"Come on." She and licked my tears away. "We don't have a lot of time and we can't spend it crying. We need to talk."

"Okay." My lower jaw quivered and I couldn't stop staring at her.

"Now, I've got to tell you a few things and you've got to listen closely." She dropped down in front of me. "Gaylord, you're not going to die. Fergus thinks you are, and you look awful, but you'll pull through. You'll be very sick for a while, but you'll be all right soon."

"What's wrong with me?"

"One of the mice you ate had just eaten a load of rat poison before you got him. In short, you had a poisoned mouse."

"I'll never eat a mouse again. Don't like 'em anyway."

"Whatever. Now listen. You need to go back to Pauly's and make up with Millicent. She's the best amait you'll find, and I want you to make friends with her. Don't be an arrogant, egotistical, pigheaded fool. Okay?"

"I'm really all that?"

"Yes, you are at times. You're also sweet and kind, you're giving and loving, and you're brave and fearless. But, Millicent needs you, and you need her. I'm dead, and there's nothing we can do about that. Return me to that special, beautiful place in your mind and keep me there for the rest of your life. Visit me from time to time, but your life is different now. Live it and be grateful." She got up, washed my face and kissed my nose. "We will be together again sometime. I love you forever, sweet Gaylord."

"And I love you forever, too, my Adele. My beautiful, wise Adele."

Suddenly, I could see through her and she melted into the woods. I was dizzy, and I was being roughed up. Something was rolling me around and licking my eyes and ears. I shook my head, tried to stand and open my eyes. Fergus was hovering over me.

"You gonna die on me?" I could see tears running down his face.

I couldn't stand. "No, Fergus, I'm not gonna die on you. But I'm gonna be really sick, and I'm never eating a mouse again. Hear?"

"Oh, that's so cool, Little Buddy. Lemme give you a bath."

"Uh, not necessary. Been bathed, and whatever you were doing to me when I woke up, stop. Back off. I need to sleep." Everything went black again but I didn't dream.

When I came around, Fergus sat in front of me, tail sweeping back and forth, with a tuyuur in his mouth. He dropped it. "I thought maybe a tuyuur might go down easier at Tuyuur Song."

I yawned, got up and tried to stretch, but I fell back on my side feeling like I'd never slept. "So, it's Tuyuur Song? How long have I been out?"

"A long time. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been shaken by a large kilaab. Thanks for the tuyuur, but my stomach says, 'No.'"

"'S okay. I'll eat it later. I can always get you another one." He picked it up and moved it away.

"Where are we?" It was dark but I could see outlines of stones and bricks all around. I was warm enough that I wasn't shivering. I looked out the opening and saw bašar feet going by.

"A hole in a wall. Found it when it was cold. Warm in here and out of the rain and stuff. I actually think it's part of my territory." He began cleaning his front paws.

"How'd I get here?"

"I drug you here. Did it late so no one would see us."

I fell asleep again, and when I woke up Fergus was gone and I could see it was still dark out. I struggled to my feet. I felt shaky but a little stronger, so I managed to stand and walk to the opening and peer out. Snow was falling, and I was cold, which added to my despair. I mean here I was sick, needing to get to Millicent before she disappeared, still grieving over Adele, and snow is falling and piling up. I knew it would trap me inside. How was I going to get across town?

Fergus squeezed in with another tuyuur. He laid it at my feet. "You gotta be hungry by now."

"I'll try to eat." Fergus ripped the feathers off its belly for me, but when I bit into it, I immediately hurled. "Sorry, Fergus, it's not going to happen yet."

A lot of time passed before I could eat and stand. Fergus brought me tuyuur after tuyuur, stripping the feathers and opening the bellies, but each time I puked it. Finally, I ate and felt my strength return almost immediately. Soon, I was back to normal.

"I gotta go."

"Go? Go where? Nebibi, you almost died. You don't need to go anywhere."

"I have to find Millicent. Adele told me to do it, so I feel I have to."

"Adele?"

"She came to me in a dream when I was passed out. She told me to go back."

"You need more sleep, Buddy. You're crackin' up."

"It's true, Fergus. I gotta go."

"You'll never make it across town." He turned his back on me and sat down. His tail looked like a snake in agony.

"Come on, don't be mad. I'll come back. I came back this time, didn't I?"

He said nothing for a long time, then, "Yeah, but who's to say you will again?"

"Come with me. It'll be fun, the two of us terrorizing the campus. How's about it?" I got down in front of him and started nuzzling and licking him, and purring like mad.

He didn't say anything. I continued to purr and nuzzle him. Finally he said, "Okay, but no way will I stay there. I'll go with you because you're too sick and too stupid to make it on your own. But I'm coming back here, dig?"

"Dig!" I started hopping around and cuffing his ears. He caught me and flipped me over and pinned me.

"You're from two worlds, you know that Kith Brain. Here on the street you're a wild amait, thanks to me and Mutt. But you're a housie, too; you've been there and know what it's like. Me, I've never been there and don't wanna be, ever. This is my home, and I love it." He let me up and laid down. "You're my brother, Nebibi, especially since Mutt died." He paused. "I came lookin' for you once, you know that?"

"Yeah, I heard."

"I was worried about you and I missed you." He paused and put his head down.

I knew what he said was right. I was drawn to two worlds; wherever I was, that's where I wanted to be.

He looked at me and smiled. "Nebibi, you are so kith brained. Millicent will lead you around by the nose. You'll do what she says, and she won't leave the warm and easy life of that bašar den. You'll be a soft as khara housie again." He paused, turned away and sighed. "I've known too many housies. Thank Bast I'm so ugly no bašar would take me, or I'd be trapped."

"You're not ugly. I don't think Pauly cares about looks, just as long as you're an amait. Besides, he leaves a door open and you can get out any time you want. I got out, didn't I?"

He looked at me with sad eyes, and then licked my nose.

"Okay. It's a deal, but I mean what I say.

"I hear ya. Hey, got another tuyuur?"

"No, and I'm not going out in that snow. Go get a mouse."

"I'll pass."

Chapter 22

_Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives._ Author Unknown

It stopped snowing at Tuyuur Song, and we started off. I was still a little weak, but as I moved I got stronger. Just layin' around is never good.

Fergus seemed to enjoy getting out and seeing some new places. He and Mutt seldom went anywhere. Maybe across the grass opposite the lake to an old abandoned junkyard that was creepy, and guarded by two kalb that would simply eat you if they caught you.

They loved to torment the kalb. Mutt would get one chasing him around this broken-down shed in the middle of the place and would disappear by jumping on a windowsill. The poor idiot kilaab would keep running, and as he passed the window, Mutt would pounce on his back and bite a chunk out of his ear. The kilaab would scream like a fire engine and Mutt would run, scoot under the fence and sit there cleaning himself while the kilaab went nuts trying to get at him. First time I saw it, I thought I'd laugh and die.

Fergus loved to hide, meow, and then move to another place. The kalb would tear up the first place they'd heard Fergus until he meowed again from another spot. They'd race there, grunt, bark and dig their claws bloody, then go to the next place when they heard Fergus. I guess they didn't have very good noses because they never sniffed him out, and Fergus could keep them going forever.

Anyway, it took us from Tuyuur Song to End of Light to get to the campus. If I hadn't gotten sick on the way, we could have made it sooner.

"I can't remember where we go from here. Let's get something to eat while I think."

"Great, Little Kith. I come all the way here, and you're lost."

"Hey, give me a break. I was thrown into something that moved, and when they dumped us from the sack, I was there. Okay? And all the amai in the world were inside the sack and sitting on me, yowling and hissing and fighting."

"Okay. Where's the best place to hunt around here?"

"Around here it's the dumpsters down that alley." I led him to where Adele and I met. "Rats mingle with mice under these things, and they're so fat they can't run. Easy pickings."

We went for a rat apiece right away and crawled under a parked car to eat. We were lucky: the car was still warm. Rat! I love rat now, but I've already said that.

"So where to. It's cold out here."

"I remember when I left Pauly's, I wandered around for quite a while until I saw the college. Back there." I pointed my ears toward a huge field in back of one of the buildings where young bašar liked to meet. "It's a hard field to cross. Sharp spikes stick up and cut your paws."

"Let's try it. I repeat: I'm cold."

It was easier to walk this time because the spikes weren't as sharp, but there was ice and we slipped a lot. I tried to find something familiar. I opened my mouth and sipped the air, trying to pick up a scent of amai. Nothing. Just the sickening smell of the field that seemed to come from the spikes.

Fergus walked beside me, not saying a word and breathing heavily. I wasn't sure how old he was, but I knew he was older than me. Like you are Chubby.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Watch it, Kith. The fist. Remember the fist."

"I will, Old Timer. I will."

~ ~ ~ ~

I knew if I asked Fergus how old he was, he'd slap me silly and tell me he didn't know, which was probably true. But I wondered if the walk was too much for him. Just then I spotted a fence out of the corner of my eye.

"Fergus, let's go this way. I think we're close."

"If not, bury me here." He was panting hard now.

We were lucky. The fence was the one in back of Pauly's house, and I recognized the swinging door. "In that door. We're home."

"We're here, Nebibi, not home."

I went in first and sniffed the air, which was full of amait and bašar scent. Kilaab scent hung there, too, but I was too excited about being back. I stuck my head out the swinging door and called to Fergus who was laying on the cold ground. "Come on. Get in here. It's warm."

He pulled himself up and crawled slowly inside. "Lead me to a bed. I've had it."

"Hey, who's . . . Gaylord? You're back." It was Neko, the one they called Cop Car with the facemask.

"Hey, Neko. Yeah, I'm back. This is Fergus, my old friend from the streets."

"Glad to meet you, Fergus." She rubbed nose. "Good to have you." She turned to me and smiled. "I told everyone you'd be back. It's cold out there."

"Anywhere I can drop?" Fergus asked.

"Yeah," Neko answered. "Follow me." We went to a room I'd not seen before leaving, and it had a lot of furniture in it, including an old sofa. "Make yourself at home."

Without hesitation Fergus was on the sofa and asleep before we left.

"Why'd you come back?"

"I need to see Millicent."

"Good luck." We walked over to food dishes lined against a wall. "Ever since you left she's been in a horrible mood. Spitting and hissing at everyone, even sweet Abyad. She doesn't talk to anyone. She eats, disappears and only reappears to eat again. Trips outside are late at night when we're layin' around yakkin'. So, walk carefully when you see her. She may bite your tail off."

"Call me a manx." She smiled. "It's my fault, Neko. We argued before I left. In fact that's why I left. I didn't want to take a chance of fighting with her. She was ready to slug me, and I couldn't let that happen. So I left."

"Where to?"

"Over by the lake where I lived all summer with a couple of friends, Fergus being one. The other one, Mutt, got killed by a car."

"Sorry. It's great to have Fergus here, though. Another tom is so welcome. A clowder of just mollies is icky."

"He's not staying. He's strictly a street amait and won't hear of anything else. He's not fond of bašar, will eat only fresh killed food and hates kalb with a passion."

"Uh, oh! We got kalb."

"I thought I smelled them when I was here. Where?"

"Upstairs. They belong to Pauly and Trish. You mean you never saw them when you were here?"

"No. I only smelled their stink mixed with the perfume of amait. I may leave, too, because I love kalb as much as Fergus does."

Neko looked at me and grinned. "They're nice kalb. They come down here and play with us. Just play. Never hurt one of us. We crawl all over them like bugs, bite their ears and play with their tongues that soak us. Really, Gaylord, there are very nice kalb."

"A nice kilaab is a dead kilaab."

"I see you haven't changed," a soft voice said from behind me. I whirled around. It was Millicent. "Still the arrogant pile of khara you've always been."

"You haven't known me always. Hello, Millicent."

She turned and walked out of the room. I glanced at Neko who had an I-told-you-so look on her face. I put on a wicked grin and followed Millicent.

I found her laying behind a rusty box with lots of pipes running out of it. It was very warm. She'd taken some rags and piled them up in back of it for a bed.

"Nice and warm," I said.

"Get lost." She hissed before she closed her eyes and dropped her head on her paws.

Neko's right, I thought. She's in a terrible mood.

"I came back to apologize if you'll let me." She didn't move and she didn't look at me. "Millicent, I . . . "

"What's the point? It's all in the past."

"I know, but something happened while I was gone that helped me see things in a different way. Can I tell you about it?"

"Suit yourself. No one's stopping you."

I sat down and curled my tail around my paws. I gave my chest a couple of licks and I took time to gather my thoughts. "I almost died."

I told her about getting poisoned, about my dreams, about seeing Adele and about how Adele told me I had to apologize.

"She knew all about what had happened to me after she was killed, even describing this place here. So, I came back when I was able, to say I'm very sorry for being such a kith brain before. You were right about me. I was an overbearing, kith-brained ninny, and I deserved everything you said. And that crack I made about kalb just now is a step backward, so I apologize for that, too."

She was still laying with her head on her paws, not looking at me. I wondered if she'd listened. I didn't understand her attitude and started to wonder why she was so angry; why she was so hostile toward all the amai. She's angry with me for what I said, I considered, but why the others? It didn't fit the gentle, understanding amait I'd met. I decided to ask because her silence boomed and I got more irritated.

"Millicent, why are you being so unpleasant? Neko says you've been impossible to be around since I left. Why? Being mad at me is okay, but why treat everyone like a pile of khara?" She ignored me. I stood up, stretched and turned to leave. "Go ahead and be a twit. I'm tried." I headed to the door.

"Still flattering yourself, I see." Her voice was flat. I looked back but she hadn't moved. "Egotistical hair ball. You think I'm this way because of you?" She gave a snort of disgust. "I don't waste my time on little things like you. I hardly remembered you after you left. You don't belong here. You never did. This is our place and you're not welcome because you don't fit. You're not like us, thank Bast."

She'd pushed the right button. "How dare you, Millicent, judge me on your own terms?"

"Because that's the way you judged me!"

I turned and walked over to her. "Trot a ways on these paws and see and feel what I have, then judge me if you still dare. You're a housie, Millicent. You know nothing of street life, but I do know about your kind because I was one. I put it behind me when I escaped, but I still remember." My nerves began to crawl. I sat down and began to lick myself like crazy. Finally, I calmed down. "I know I'm not better than any other amait. I'm one of many alley amai, so my experience is simply like all alleys. But you, Beautiful One, are pumping yourself up as better by judging me an arrogant . . . What did you call me? . . Hairball? An arrogant hairball? You're the one who's arrogant now. There's nothing special about a housie, just as there's nothing special about an alley." She continued with her head on her paws, not looking at me. "What's the use?" I turned and raced out the door.

Neko was outside. "Told you so," she said, purring.

"Yeah, well, she can take a hike as far as I'm concerned. Fergus still asleep?"

"No. He's having something to eat. How about you? Hungry?"

"I am, but I'm leaving . . . Fergus is doing what?"

"Eating."

"Fergus is eating the food here?"

"Yeah. So what?" Neko frowned and shook her head.

I couldn't believe it: Fergus chowing down on amait food. Oh, well!

"Never mind. I gotta get outta here. If I don't, I think I might smack Millicent into the next Time of Owls if I stay around." Neko and I went to the food bowls, and Fergus was eating like he'd never seen food before.

"Fergus, you said you wouldn't eat bašar khara. Let's get outta here. It's time to go."

"Hey, hold on there, Kith. This is some good chow and I'm not finished yet. And it's warm in here. Snow's tail high, wind's blowing and I'm not going anywhere until it's over." He went back eating.

"Fergus, this is a bašar place. You've never lived with bašar, and you always said you never wanted to."

He raised his head, looked at me and chewed slowly. "I know what I said, but I'm old, okay? I might change my mind. Let's give it a try. We can always leave. Neko says we can."

I sighed and stared at this weird amait I'd never seen before. "Where'd Fergus go?" I asked.

"Don't get smart with me, Nebibi. Remember who taught you to fight." He plunged his muzzle into the food again, and I heard crunching.

"Okay, Fergus, if that's what you want. But keep me away from Millicent. I've never been so mad at an amait in my life."

"Gotta be love," I heard him say between bites.

I started to nip his shoulder, but it would caused a fight and I didn't want to start that. Instead, I sniffed another bowl, thinking I might as well eat even though I was not very hungry. It smelled like stuff I'd eaten at the seminary, and I almost puked. I wanted a rat.

Chapter 23

_When a cat speaks, it's because it has something to say, unlike humans who are the great refuse containers of speech._ V.L. Allineare

When I turned around, Millicent was staring at me.

"We need to talk."

"Why? Your mind is set. I'm an arrogant hairball. End of discussion."

"Please. You need to know something that may explain why I've been so nasty."

I studied her eyes for a long time and saw some of the warmth I'd seen before I left. I decided to give her a chance. "Okay. But if we start to fight, I'm gone."

"I agree."

She turned and led me back to her place behind the rusty, hot box. "Make yourself comfortable." She flopped down on her bed. I laid on the edge of it, facing her. "By the way, what is your name? I heard your friend call you something else."

I told her how my bašar named me Gaylord and how it got changed to Nebibi when I met Fergus and Mutt. "Nebibi is what my maama called me."

She licked her paw and looked at me. "I like Gaylord"

"Fine. I answer to both."

"You told me you almost died and that it had changed you and how you look at life."

"Yeah. I ate a poisoned mouse and almost died. Had some weird dreams."

"I'm sorry you were so sick, but I'm so glad you're all right."

She looked at me and I saw she meant it. I knew right then, Chubby, I was wrong about her.

"You had nothing to do with my sour attitude, Gaylord. I forgot our spat the next day. I tried to find you to apologize for my temper tantrum, but you were gone. So I put you out of my mind. I know that deflates your tender ego." She grinned.

"Okay, okay. Toms are touchy. Guilty. But what happened?"

"It was the next Tuyuur Song after you left. Pauly came in with food as usual, but while I was eating he picked me up and stuffed me into a cage that he covered with a dark cloth. After a short car ride, I found myself in a large, bright place that reeked of amai with only a tinge of bašar.

"When Pauly removed the cloth, a mollie bašar put me in another cage stacked against a wall with others, all filled with terrified amai that were yowling and screaming constantly. I also smelled other things that stank horribly and burned my nose.

"The mollie bašar came back, opened my cage, grabbed me by the back of my neck and dragged me out. I wasn't able to move when she held me like that, and she stuck me with something very sharp. I screamed, and that's all I remember until I woke up here." She dropped her head on her paws, closed her eyes and was silent.

My anger went away, Chubby. She'd been through some terrible experience that made her mean. I was embarrassed by how I'd acted and by what I'd said. I started to say I was sorry, but she raised her head and cut me off with a flip of her tail.

"Just listen. There's more." Sitting up, she bathed her face while she looked at me and smiled. "Okay. As I said, I woke up and was back here, but I had such pain in my belly I could hardly move. It was many Tuyuur Songs before the pain went away.

"Pauly and Trish were very kind to me. They fed me and checked my belly every day. They rubbed stuff on it that made it feel better."

"So, what'd happened?"

"Gato told me."

"Gato?"

"The Gray Ghost."

"I guess I remember her, but it doesn't matter. What did she tell you?"

"That I'd been fixed, just as she'd been fixed a long time ago. Do you know what fixed means?"

My blood ran cold because I did know what fixed meant. Ned and Harriet fixed my maama after my sister was born, and when my sister was very young, they fixed her, too. I might have been next if I had stayed. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Millicent. I'm really sorry."

"I've been a queen twice, and I know the wonderful joy of having kiths even though they were taken away after they were so big. But that was okay because kiths shouldn't hang around their maamas forever. It's not healthy."

"I hung around my maama for a long time."

"My point exactly, it's not healthy. Probably why you're so messed up."

"Thanks, Millicent. I thought we weren't going to fight."

"I'm kidding, Gaylord. Get a grip."

"I'm kidding, too. But, I think you might be right."

"Anyway, when I found out what they did to me, I was furious. I wanted more kiths, and I was sure I could find a mate. That's why I was so interested in you."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Don't get conceited on me again." We laughed.

She continued: "I was so stupid. I never wondered why there were no kiths here, and why none of the other mollies came in. It never crossed my mind, but now I know every mollie here is fixed. Pauly and Trish don't want kiths, so they fix us." She began to cry. "I'll never be a maama again, Gaylord. I'll never feel little ones climbing all over me and sucking on me. I wanted to die, and I was so angry at the others for not warning me. I would have run away, even though I might have died because I wasn't a real amait like the great Gaylord."

"Okay, okay. Point taken."

"That's why I've gone around hissing and being so rude and unfriendly."

I didn't know what to say, Chubby. All I could do was pull myself close to her and hug her. I licked her ears and her face, tasting the tears as they flowed.

"I'm so sorry, Millicent. I'm so very sorry."

She rubbed her head against mine and touched my nose with hers. I held her while she cried, and when she was through I licked her face dry.

"Thanks, Gaylord. I'm still a mess and probably will be for a while." She rolled over on her side and look at me. "What you need to do is get out of here, you and Fergus, because Pauly may have you fixed, too. And if you'll have me, I'll take off with you."

My heart did a flip-flop when she said that. "Really, Millicent? Run with us? Wow. Nothing would make me happier."

"You could teach me all you know, and since I can't have kiths, nothing would tie us down." She took my face between her paws and said, "You can make all the kiths you want, so long as you come back to me."

"I think I love you, Millicent."

"I know I love you." She touched her nose hard against mine.

Chapter 24

_Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow._ Jeff Valdez

I froze when I heard Pauly's footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Fergus! Fergus!"

I ran to the food bowls and came very close to dropping dead. Following Pauly were two kalb. One was so big it made Schatzi look like a puppy. It was almost as tall as Pauly and was black and white, and it had a huge head with a mouth that could swallow an amait whole without chewing.

But, its eyes were bright and playful, and its tail wagged all the time. That, of course, means nothing, if you know kalb, and I know you know kalb, Chubby. It went to the amai that were eating and nudged them with its nose and began licking them all over. I thought I'd puke.

The other kilaab was a lot smaller. Black on its legs, belly and back, up its neck and almost to its ears. The faraawi was curly. It had a long snout and extra curly fluffs of faraawi above its eyes and down its square muzzle. Its eyes were full of delight and mischief like the monster teasing the amai at the food bowls. In the meantime, Pauly disappeared into a small room under the stairs.

I ran to Fergus, who was laying by a bowl and dosing. "Fergus, wake up. We gotta get outta here." I pushed him hard with my nose. "Get up! We're gonna get fixed if we stay here!"

He looked at me and frowned. "What?"

"Fixed, you idiot. Fixed. Not have kiths." I tugged on his neck faraawi.

"Hey, I can't ever have kiths, Kith. I'm a tom. Do I have to explain that, too?"

"Stop calling me Kith! Get up. We gotta go."

He grabbed me by my neck with his paw and slammed me to the floor. "Simmer down, Nebibi. I think you're going a little crazy."

"Look, Fergus, just trust me and go outside. I'll explain everything. Millicent's going with us."

"Maybe I'm going crazy." He got up, releasing his hold on me. "Millicent is going? Where? I thought she wanted to rip your throat out."

"It's a long story. Let's go."

I ran to the door with Fergus plodding behind, and found Millicent leaning against the swinging door. How could she lean against the swinging door? I wondered.

"It's locked"

"No! Locked? Now what?" Terrified, I began to tremble.

Fergus walked up. "What's going on?"

"We're locked in. We're gonna to get fixed."

"Tell me what this fixing is about." He was cranky because I disturbed his nap, poor thing.

"Okay, Fergus, it goes like this. It seems Pauly doesn't want kiths around, so he's taking mollies to a vet somewhere, and when they return, their bellies are sore and they can't ever have kiths again. Right, Millicent?"

"That's pretty much it." She still leaned against the door.

"You had this happen, Millicent?"

"Yes. And I'm afraid you two may be next."

"But I can't have kiths. Why would they fix me?"

If I hadn't been so scared, I'da laughed at Fergus. How could an amait as old as he was not know how kiths got here?

"Fergus, you ever settle a mollie?"

"Lots of times. About every month if you need to know. What's that got to do with . . . ?" He stopped and stared at me and then at Millicent, who smirked and shook her head. "Oh. Oh, you mean . . . Get outta the way, Millicent, I'm smashing that door out."

She moved just as he slammed into the door and bounced back.

"I think it's a losing fight, Old Friend. We're probably going to have to fight."

"I'll shred any bašar that touches me."

About that time the monster kilaab strolled over and licked Millicent from her tail to her ears.

"Stop that, Newfie!" She turned to it, getting licked all over her face.

"Ahhh! Yuk! Kilaab spit all over me." She growled, swelled up and hissed. "I'll rip your nose off if you do that again."

He did it again and got a slash on his nose that caused him to yelp. But then he laughed. I almost swallowed my tongue; Kalb don't laugh, right?

"Hey, Millicent, take it easy. That's my nose."

My mind left me. I stared at the monster. Kalb don't talk. Kalb can't talk because they're too stupid to talk, their brains are the size of pebbles—all this went through my head as I watched and listened.

"Then stop licking me. Your tongue is like a wet mop." She licked off Newfie's spit. "It makes me gag, Newfie. Your spit's like the oil my bašar tried to give me and got some deep scratches for it, too."

"Millicent. Sweet thing." Newfie whined and rubbed his nose.

"Go away. Go hang out with Galin. Lick him."

I turned to the clowder that gathered around to watch and laugh.

"Who's Galin?" I asked nobody in particular.

"He's the other kilaab." Millicent finished cleaning herself.

"Does he lick, too?"

"No. He tries to sniff our rear ends, though," said someone from the clowder behind me.

"Let him try me," Fergus said.

I was scared. The kalb appeared harmless, but kalb can do that just before they tear your head off or slam you against a wall. We had to get out of there. Millicent was already cut up by Pauly, and I wasn't waiting to see me and Fergus suffer the same. But how? Outside door was locked.

"Any other way out of this place," I asked the nearest mollie, which happened to be Katia, the yellow tabby who was considered the leader.

"None except through Pauly's place and that door up there. Leads to his and Trish's place."

"We'll have to go that way, then. Fergus, let's figure this out. Come on. Millicent, is it all right if we use your place?"

"Sure." She trotted off in that direction.

I looked back and all the mollies were watching us with blank faces. They knew what was going on, but I don't think they thought we could get away. I also caught a glimpse of Pauly coming out of the little room and going upstairs with Newfie and Galin following.

"How are we going to get into Pauly's place?" I asked when we got behind the rusty hot box.

"Beats me, kid," Fergus said and flopped down on Millicent's bed.

I yelled at him: "Fergus I might just leave you here if you're going to be that way. I need suggestions."

"With the kalb it's going to be next to impossible," said Millicent. "They'd smell us right away."

"Not if you fool them." It was Neko followed by the whole clowder including Abyad, who smiled at me.

"Fool them?" I asked. "What do you mean, Neko?"

Abyad hopped over to Millicent and began licking her ears.

"Do something to get Pauly and Trish to come down here with the kalb like we did when we pretended to fight. If you're hiding at the top of the stairs, you could slip in while we fool them into thinking whatever we're doing is real."

"That's a long shot and it sounds complicated," Fergus said. "What if they close the door when they come down?"

"Good point," Neko said. "It's got to be something that will bring them down but will not make them suspicious.

We stopped talking and tried to think. Fergus dozed off and was a lot of help. Millicent, Neko, and Katia, who had strolled away from the crowd, put their heads together and started whispering while I paced and thought of what I wanted done with my body. Bury it? Drag it to a quiet meadow, maybe near Adele? I glanced at the rest of the clowder all scrunched down with their tails wrapped around them, blinking their eyes and watching me as I paced. I smiled, and they all smiled back. I felt sorry for them, Chubby. They'd been trapped all their lives and didn't have a clue about what was going on.

"Wait! I got it," Neko said. "They really do love us."

"How can you say that after what they did to all of us?" Millicent said, her eyes darkening.

"They have their reasons. I don't understand it, but Millicent, you're still alive and fed. You're warm and safe. They could have killed us all or left us to the catchers outside in that huge cage. Yeah, I think they love us, but their kind of love is not our kind, so we don't understand. Put that aside for now, okay. We got to get you and these toms outta here."

Millicent was still upset, but she sat down and listened while Abyad in her deaf little world nuzzled her and purred.

"What's your plan," I asked.

"If one of us is sick, they'll do everything they can to help. It's happened before."

"They take us away," Millicent said. "You were gone for long time, right Katia?"

"Yup. Thought I'd never get home. But they were kind to me, held me and cuddled me. I was never afraid."

Her voice quivering, Millicent said, "Where do they take us, Neko? After what happened to me, I do not trust them."

"They take us to a vet," Katia said, "and get us special treatment. We're not always fixed, I don't think."

"My point exactly," Millicent said. "We don't know until it's too late."

"Let's stay on the topic," Neko said. "Whoever plays sick can recover quickly; maybe they won't take her away."

All eyes fixed on Neko as she looked around the clowder with eyes hidden in her black mask. "Who's gonna play sick?" Eyes shifted around from one to another, but no one said anything. "Come on, mollies, we got to help our friends get outta here."

"Why?" Katia said, facing Neko. "Why do we have to put our lives on the line for them? I don't know Gaylord, really, and Fergus is a complete stranger. Millicent's been so mean and nasty lately that I don't care what happens to her. Why should any of us care if Gaylord and Fergus are fixed? We've been fixed. There's nothing to it. Why are they so special?" Several others agreed.

Neko sat and licked her paws and said nothing for a while. I was shocked because I thought Katia was in charge and seemed interested in helping us at first.

Neko looked at Katia. "Nothing can be done about us, Katia. You don't get unfixed. But amai have to have kiths if amai are to survive. Gaylord and Fergus can't help us now, but I want them to get away so some mollies somewhere can have the pleasure of being queens. Our time was stolen from us, but we have no right to deny others, and keeping Gaylord and Fergus here and endangering them is not fair."

"I don't know. Never been a queen, but I'm not sure I want to be from what I hear. Raise them, love them, and bašar take them away. I'm not sure I could deal with that."

"That's hard, believe me." Millicent said. "I had kiths before I came here, and all of them were given away."

"Not the point," Neko said. "Whether bašar give kiths away or not, we gotta have kiths to go on as amai. We can't be selfish."

"Count me out," Katia said. She turned and ran away.

Ignoring Katia, Neko asked, "Who's gonna play sick?"

"I will," Gato said and raised her paw. "Maybe it'll be fun."

"Thanks, Gato. Now here's what we'll do. Gato, you've got to be really sick. Panting hard, shaking, tongue hanging out, eyes staring, even a little puking if possible."

"I'll work on a hairball." She giggled.

"Good, but make it small. They may think a large one is the trouble and when you spit it up, they'll quit."

"Wait," I said. "That's it. Get a really huge hairball going, and you'll really be sick. No faking it. Then, when it comes up, it will relieve your symptoms and they won't take you away. Just hold it as long as necessary."

"Great idea," Neko said.

Millicent licked my ear, and Fergus narrowed his eyes and grinned at me.

"Okay, now the rest of us need to yowl like crazy. Screams that cause their ears to split. We'll gather around Gato and lick her like the world's ended. Scream loud and long so it'll bring them down here fast. It's got to be like we're clawing on their door."

"What about the kalb?" I asked. "Will they interfere?"

"No. They'll start to lick Gato to death. Gaylord, I keep telling you, they're sweet kalb. You saw how Newfie treated Millicent after she scratched his nose. He could have swallowed her, but he didn't. Soften up a little. Not all kalb kill amai."

"Yeah, well, it'll take a long time for me to believe that."

Coach Neko ignored me and continued: "Now, before we get going, Gaylord, you, Fergus and Millicent hunker down on the step just below the door. You'll probably have to use both sides so you won't trip them when they come down. As soon as the door opens and they've cleared it, jump inside and get under something outta sight. Okay?" Neko smiled at me and licked my nose.

"Okay, but how will we get outside, Neko?" Fergus asked.

"Just before Pauly and Trish go to bed, they let Newfie and Galin out. They call them back after a while, so make your moves either when they let the kalb out or as they let them in. You have to be like lightning to make it, but amai are like lightning, right." Neko smiled at Fergus.

"Even faster," I said.

"Good. Now let's wait 'til End of Light so you won't have to hide for long. Millicent, take these ragged alley amai into your den, and all three of you nap until time. I'll come for you." She licked my ear, touched noses with Fergus and rubbed heads with Millicent.

"Forgive me for acting like an idiot all week, Neko. I'm usually more trusting, but I guess I was so hurt I didn't stop to think."

"It's in the past. Go nap."

"Ragged alley amai?" Fergus said to me as we followed Millicent.

"Yeah? That's what we are. So, what's your point?"

Chapter 25

_Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer._ Bruce Graham

It seemed like Neko never left us. I fell asleep instantly, and then she was there. Except for Katia, we crowded up at the bottom of the stairs while Neko quickly went over our plan and we took our places. I looked at Gato and she looked sick enough to die.

"Gato? Are you okay?" I said.

"I'm fine except for a hairball about the size of an egg. There will be no faking this one."

Without warning she let out a yowl that caused our claws to clutch the floor. I felt sparks dance from the tip of my tail to my nose. Right on cue the others started screaming and yowling for all they were worth. Even Abyad wailed, but I'll never know how she knew. We three bolted up the steps, took our places and stared at the door.

Almost as soon as Gato yowled, we heard the kalb barking. We just made it to the steps when the door opened and Newfie and Galin galloped down and started licking Gato. Pauly and Trish came right behind. Fergus, who was alone on the step opposite Millicent and me, dashed in first with us behind. Inside, I looked for Fergus, but he'd disappeared. Millicent darted under a something like a huge box, and I made for a chair that had loose cloth touching the floor. I listened to the noise downstairs, along with barks and howls from the kalb.

At last I heard Gato puke up the hairball. It splattered like a slap. Right away, I heard Pauly and Trish laugh, and the kalb whined that high pitch whine they use when frustrated.

Pauly and Trish laughed all the way back upstairs with Newfie and Galin trailing, and closed the door. Now all we had to do was wait.

I could barely make out Millicent under the box thing, and I didn't see Fergus at all. Moving even the tip of my tail was out of the question, of course, and I hardly breathed. We waited and waited. No one came into the room, but we could hear voices coming from someplace. The kalb were quiet.

Suddenly, this gigantic, wet black nose popped under the chair and a booming voice jolted me from a short snooze.

"Hey, come outta there."

My heart stopped, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't move. My eyes focused on that nose.

"Come on," bellowed the voice, "we know you're here. We smelled you when we went up the stairs."

I still couldn't believe a kilaab could talk, Chubby, even though the one called Newfie spoke to Millicent downstairs. It blew me away that he spoke amait. I stuck my head out and gawked at this face and eyes laughing at me.

"Get your friends out here, too. One's under the sideboard over there, and the other is scrunched up on the top shelf of the bookcase."

Galin, his tail fluttering like a dry leaf in the wind, sat in front of the bookcase and watched Fergus who was trying to crawl inside a book.

"Come on out, guys," I said in a loud whisper.

"You can talk normal. They went to bed. Besides, they don't understand your words."

Millicent crept out and stuck to my side like a wet feather. Fergus jumped down in attack mode, bristling and hissing at Galin, who just grinned and stared at him.

"He won't hurt you," Newfie called to Fergus. "Just don't turn around or he'll give you a sniff."

Fergus broke and ran to me and Millicent, but glared at Galin and hissed if the kilaab so much licked his lips.

"Okay, what's going on?" Newfie asked. He crumpled in front of us like a mountain with faraawi.

I tried to talk but nothing came out. Finally, I managed, "We're trying to escape. The swinging door downstairs is locked, so we're trying to escape through here. Your bašar were supposed to let you two out. And we were going to bolt then."

"They use another door." Newfie continued to look amused. "Why would you want to leave here? This is a great place."

"It is. But your bašar do things to amai that we don't like."

"Oh. Okay." He opened his mouth and began to pant softly. "'Scuse me, I'm a little warm."

I was amazed at how sweet his breath was, Chubby. Kilaab breath smells the same as sewers. "I know what Pauly does to amai, and kalb for that matter."

I gawked at him. "Kalb?"

Millicent almost fell over, but Fergus just continued to hiss at Galin, who had moved over next to Newfie.

"Yeah. Me and Galin got the fix, too, when we came here. He rescued us like he rescued you. See, Pauly and Trish just love animals. They'd rescue an elephant if it needed rescuing and they had a place to keep it."

"You don't mind what they did to you?" Millicent said.

"No. Takes pressure off. Bitches are just friends now. Don't have to go through all that mess. Galin thinks so, too. Don't you, Galin?" Galin said nothing but his tail beat the floor like a hammer. "Look, it's your life and I don't see locking you up just to please bašar like Pauly and Trish. You say the swinging door is locked?"

"Yes."

"Okay, they got something planned, then. Wait here. We'll get them up and make them to open the door. Then you run like you've never run before, even if it means bumping into them or us. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Get over by the door and hide behind those drapes. We'll be right down."

"Oh, Newfie, does Galin talk?"

"Yeah, but he don't talk amait. He's Welch and talks funny. Don't ask me what Welch is because I don't know; Pauly and Trish say it. I have trouble understanding him. We just buddy around, sleep and eat. We think it's a great life."

"One more question out of curiosity: how is it you speak amait?"

"I was brought up in a clowder. Amai have been best friends all my life."

I glanced at Millicent who was grinning a know-it-all grin. "Don't say it. I'm not changing my feelings about kalb, no offense to you and Galin. But, maybe some kalb are okay. Some, mind you. Not all. Maybe."

She giggled and went behind the drapes where Fergus hid.

Newfie looked at me a grinned. "Had some bad times with kalb?"

"Yeah, some really bad times. Very, very bad times. Wish I had time to tell you. You and Galin here seem to be all right, but I gotta tell you, you're the first kalb I've ever seen that are."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Okay, get ready. Galin, let's go and wake 'em up." He spoke to Galin in lingua caninus, their harsh-sounding talk that's mostly growls and whines. I joined Millicent and Fergus behind the drapes. It wasn't long until Newfie and Galin started barking and howling. Something slammed the ceiling overhead, and Pauly and Trish bounded down the stairs.

"What the hell is going on?" I heard Pauly say.

Newfie and Galin continued to bark and howl as they raced to the door, then back to them, then back to the door, each time spinning around like they were crazy. Pauly threw the door open. Galin started scratching at the storm door while Newfie pushed his nose into the glass and barked, his breath and nose smearing it with goo. Pauly pushed the storm door open, and the kalb rushed out with us behind.

I never ran so hard in my life as I did that night. Snow was still deep, but we leaped through like toads, running over and through drifts. Millicent ran past me like I was standing still, leaving a trail in the snow that looked like a car track. I glanced back at Fergus who was loping along in his usual carefree manner.

I heard a voice calling to us. I stopped and looked back and saw Pauly standing in the doorway. As Fergus passed me, I said, "Hear that?"

"Nope." He never broke stride.

I heard, "Good luck, you rascals. Take care."

At first I thought it might be Newfie, but it was too high for his voice and it wasn't amait. It had to be Pauly since Galin spoke with an accent, or so Newfie said. It surprised me that Pauly would wish us well, like maybe he was happy for us. Then I considered the fact that he had always made it so we could escape through the swinging door. Pauly and Trish didn't imprison us. They gave us a safe place to live, food and free choice. We had always been free.

My attitude toward bašar changed. There are good bašar although I hate what they did to Millicent and the others, who probably stayed with Pauly and Trish because they had nothing else to look forward to. I smiled as I turned and started running again.

"Millicent is with me. Hope I'm worth looking forward to."

Chapter 26

_With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats_? Fernand Mery

When we got to the campus, we stopped and breathed. We needed a place to spend the night out of the cold and to find something to eat.

"Food's gonna to be hard to find now that it's cold," Fergus said. Then, he looked at me and smiled. "Wait a minute. I got an idea. Hang around, I'll be right back." He fast-trotted across the snow.

"What's he up to?" Millicent asked.

I saw she was shivering, so I hugged her with my front leg and we snuggled by a bush packed with snow.

"Haven't a clue, but he's an old pro. Born and bred on the streets. He'll find something." It wasn't long until he came back with a tuyuur dangling from his mouth. "How in the world did you find a tuyuur?"

He dropped it in front of us. "They stay here in winter, and they crowd around places where lots of bašar are found. Remember at the lake, the tuyuurs they were feeding all the time?"

"Oh yeah, those big fat ones that waddled around scarfing up seeds and stuff from bašar. Wow, Fergus, this is great. Millicent, you'll really love this tuyuur. They're better'n rats even."

"Anything has got to be better than a rat." Disgust distorted her face.

"Dig in. I'm gonna to get another one." He took off running and before long was back. "This is mine," he said, "mine, mine, mine!"

We ate and I could tell Millicent was enjoying the tuyuur. She'll do fine after a while, I thought. If I can, she can.

As I ate, I glanced over to the apartment where Adele was killed, and felt sad. But, I remembered what she said in the dream: she would always be with me, and I needed to get on with my life and hook up with Millicent, who needed me as I needed her. I perked up because I was doing what her spirit told me to do. "Make a special room for me in your memory," she said. "Visit me from time to time, but go on with your life. I'll always be in that room, as near as a thought." I looked at Millicent while she finished her part of the tuyuur, and I knew I loved her. It wasn't the same kind of love Adele and I had, but it was warm and sweet and tender. I was a lucky amait.

Fergus washed his face. "I know a place we can stay at all winter."

"Where?" I asked.

"A long way from here, farther than our old territory, but we can make it in a day."

"Okay, sounds good. Let's find a place to sleep tonight."

"I found that, too." Fergus smiled. "Come on."

We crossed the lawn, hopping over more snowdrifts, to where he went to get the tuyuurs. It was a building smaller than the apartments around it, and it was made of wood, not stone. It had a real high roof, Chubby, with a higher part in front, and on top of the higher part was the same thing Ned and Harriet had on their wall. Maybe it had something to do with gods. I dunno.

Anyway, Fergus led us around back into a opening under some stairs. It was dark inside, but when we could see, it was the space under the building. We crawled on our bellies until we came to a large area where it was warm like Millicent's place at Pauly's. We didn't see a rusty box like she had, but it was warm, almost hot. "We came crash here," Fergus said. He wasted no time dropping like a sack of grain and was asleep before me and Millicent laid down.

"He's great," Millicent said as she tucked her front paws under her breast and snuggled close to me.

"Can you get a little closer?"

"If I get closer, I'll be inside you."

"Like I said, can you get a little closer?" She pushed me with her nose and giggled.

"You got it right about Fergus, though. He's the greatest. I wish you could have known Mutt." I glanced at her, and she was gone to dreamland. I licked her ear and joined her.

When I woke up, I looked out on a bright day. It was very cold, but I knew the sun would keep us warm.

After shaking off the fuzz of sleep, Fergus went out and brought back two more tuyuurs, and after eating we took off with Fergus in the lead. He was right: it was a long way. We crossed several streets, almost getting ourselves smeared into the pavement a few times by cars that moved like a high wind. Millicent was really scared because she'd never been around many cars, except to ride to the vet, and didn't know anything about dodging them. So, I came close to getting smashed helping her. Poor thing was numb with fear.

Fergus, of course, moved through the cars like a bouncing ball, hopping and swaying around the wheels like they were his partners in some kind of hideous dance. At one point he sashayed under a huge truck and appeared to pass through the wheels. Millicent and I stopped to watch his performance and almost bought it from a taxi.

"Isn't he amazing?" Millicent said.

"No, he's stupid. He's scared me silly since I've known him and watched him cross streets. I'll have to peel him off the street someday and bury his sorry tail under a bush."

It was Time of Owls when Fergus announce that we were there.

"Where?"

"Right there, Kith Brain. That very tall round thing that looks like a huge can."

I looked up and down to where it met the ground. I saw a large opening at the bottom where trucks lined up to pull inside one at a time.

"So what is it?" Millicent asked.

"I don't know." Fergus grinned. "But I do know lots and lots of amai are there, and lots and lots of mice."

"I don't eat mice anymore."

"When your tongue is hanging out and your belly feels like a knot, you'll eat mice two at a time. Besides, Nebibi, I am almost positive the mice here are not poisoned."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but there are lots of amai, like I said, and lots of mice. From what I've seen, the bašar here want us because we take care of the mice. I mean, they're very nice bašar. They pet us if we let 'em. They even give us some of their food from time to time, which is not all that good. It's dry and tasteless to me, but I eat it to be polite."

"How do you know about this place?"

"Me and Mutt spent two Seasons of Emergence here, the last one and the one before that. It's warm, you got other amai to talk to, fight with, settle, if you know what I mean, and you never go hungry."

"Well, I don't understand. What's so attractive for the mice? Don't the stupid little things know amai are here?"

"I think it's the seeds that the bašar bring in. See those trucks? They have seeds in them. All kinds of seeds. They dump the seeds and they fall through the floor. Mice love those seeds and come here to eat 'em. And we eat the mice."

"Where do we stay?" Millicent asked.

"Oh, that's what's so cool. There are places all over to make a nest. Look, instead of jawin' about this and freezin' our tails off, let's go in." He took off toward the large opening and disappeared inside. We followed.

Chapter 27

" _I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice."_ Terry Pratchett

It was warm inside, but the air was dusty and made me cough.

"Come on," Fergus called. "This way."

We crossed a wide floor past a mountain of seeds. I didn't see any mice or amai around the seeds, but there were several tom bašar working. The seeds were almost as big as one of my toes and were light colored, maybe white, I don't know. They smelled earthy like the heaps of leaves in the park by the lake. I told myself to remember to listen to the bašar and find out what the seeds were called.

We trotted after Fergus as he took us into a large open room where we saw stacks of stuff lining the walls and piled to the ceiling on boxes like the ones under some of the big barrels in the alley behind Smokey's Steak House. Trucks were parked all over the place.

Fergus leaped over some boxes close to a wall and disappeared, only to pop up and say, "Home! Just as I left it. Come on in." The floor behind the box was strewn with coarse cloth that felt itchy to my paws. "I'm amazed no one moved in while I was gone. But I scent-marked this place before I left until I ran dry. Maybe that's it."

"Yeah, well, it does smell like you," Millicent said. "Very heavy."

"Stinks like you."

He jumped me and we rolled around like we were fighting.

"Hey, you two; cut it out. We got things to do." Millicent's tone said that the next blows would come from her. We stopped, gave each other some friendly licks, and sat up.

"What do we have to do?" Fergus asked, "Except get a few mice. I'm almost dead from hunger."

"What is this stuff we're walking on?" I asked.

"It's stuff they put seeds in. There are lots of them in another room. I grabbed as many as I could after End of Light when nobody was here and drug 'em here to give me a soft place to snooze. Cool, huh?"

"Soft? It's worst than sand," I said.

"You'll get used to it."

"I kind of like it," Millicent said as she laid down and rubbed. "Feels good and scratchy."

"I don't know," I mumbled to myself. "I'm surrounded by two really dumb amai who make nice about something that feels like a gravel road. I gotta be wacko. That's all there is to it. And what's worse, I chose to be here. You're wacko, Gaylord, wacko like Mutt was."

"Dumb amai?" Millicent said.

"Yeah, I heard that too, Millicent. Wacko like Mutt? No one was wacko like Mutt. I knew Mutt, and, Nebibi, you're no Mutt." He looked at Millicent. "I think the kith here needs a tail whipping."

Fergus got up, licked his chest a few times and then grabbed me with his front paws. Millicent landed on top of him and I was pinned. She gnawed on my tail while Fergus dug into the nape of my neck. "I'll drag you like the kith you are" His voice muffled in my faraawi. All I could do was screech with laughter.

When we recovered from my drubbing, Fergus suggested we go hunt. He took us to a pile of seeds that was so high we couldn't see the top.

"What do you smell?" Fergus asked.

Millicent and I opened our mouths and inhaled. "Mice!" we both said together.

"Right. Get into position, don't move or say a word, and wait."

"Thank you, oh great teacher. We who are kiths and this is our first time hunting mice, we bow before you." Millicent and I bowed low before Fergus.

"Shut up! Scorn will get you a whip up. Get ready, Kiths."

We did as he said. Suddenly, we saw a bunch of them scampering along the edge of a wall and over to the seed pile. They looked fat and sluggish. We sprang at once, and before long were stuffed.

We waddled back to the den and could hardly jump to the box, and we hit the floor like fresh hairballs. The coarse cloth felt wonderful. We were asleep instantly.

~ ~ ~ ~

"What is that?" I screamed.

The loudest noise I ever heard yanked me from a deep sleep. Me and Millicent cleared the box together, but when I looked for her, she was gone. I jumped back up and looked down at Fergus. He was still asleep with the shriek continuing; I thought my ears would explode. I jumped on Fergus and yelled in his ear, "How can you sleep? What is that awful noise?"

He shook his head and looked at me through blurred eyes. "That's the whistle they use to call everyone together. Won't hurt you." He dropped his head and closed his eyes.

I shook him. "Millicent took off."

He jumped up fully awake. "We'll have to find her. She could get killed because she doesn't know her way around." Right then the whistle-stopped.

We jumped over the boxes and hit the floor running. Fergus told me to go to the room where the sacks were kept, and he disappeared behind the seed mountain. I called her name as I ran. I rounded a corner and skidded to a stop. There she was cuddled in the arms of a bašar who was petting and cooing to her.

"Millicent? What are you doing?"

"Getting petted."

"I can see that. But why? What's going on?"

"That sound, whatever it was, scared the khara outta me, so I took off. This bašar was sitting here and I jumped on his lap. Old habit, Gaylord. I used to do that all the time at home."

Fergus ran up and sat down, too winded to say anything, and stared at the scene.

"You cats have it made," the bašar said. He nuzzled Millicent close to his face and chuckled. "All you do is sleep and eat and play while we work. I swear. I wanna be a cat." He laughed and put Millicent down. "Run along now, Miss Puss. I have to get back to work, which, I'm sure, you know nothing about." He got up and walked away.

"Nice man, huh?" Millicent said.

"Yeah, but still a bašar," Fergus said. "Unless they have food, I don't go near 'em. I don't let 'em touch me much, either. A little back rub, but no getting into a lap. They do trap us, you know. I've had friends disappear."

"I was a housie once," I said, "and it's a pretty soft life. But it's also prison. I could never go back."

"I didn't say I was going back." Her voice was sharp. "I used his lap to settle myself down, just as I used to do when I was a housie." She came over to me, licked my face and pushed my head with hers. "Gaylord, I'm here with you and I love it." She turned and looked at Fergus who was smiling. "You, too, Fergus. I like being with you, too."

Fergus stretched and yawned. "Well, I'm going to eat a few mice and go back to sleep. I've missed too much sleep showing you amai around." He walked off toward the big seed pile.

"Me, too," Millicent said. "Come on, Gaylord."

"You go ahead, " I said. "I'll catch up. Need some time to look around a bit. I'll be back."

She kissed me again. "Okay," she said. "Make sure you do come back."

I smiled at her and kissed her back. "Don't worry. I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"Afraid? Not in the slightest." She turned and strolled after Fergus.

My thoughts went to Adele as I watched Millicent walk away. "She would have loved it here," I said to myself.

I was a fortunate young amait. In my life I had two mollies to love me and to love back. Adele would always be the love of my life, and Millicent would be my dessert into old age.

Adele filled my mind, so I decided to visit her in her special room in my memory. I laid down, put my head on my paws, closed my eyes and knocked on her door.

"Come in."

She was as beautiful as ever: her deep white faraawi tinged with gray was perfect, and her gorgeous green eyes glistened. My heart almost burst.

"Hi, my love." I entered the room.

"Gaylord. I was hoping to see you today." Her voice was low and sweet, and her purr said, "I love you."

I went to her, licked her face, and pushed my head against hers. We stood for a moment enjoying each other. Oh, she smelled so good and felt so good and tasted so good. "I miss you so much."

"And I you." She stepped back and looked at me. "I like Millicent. She's good for you."

"Thanks. I needed your okay. Yeah, she's a great amait. I do love her."

"That's good. That's very good."

"But I'll never love anyone as much as I love you."

She smiled. "Yes you will, Gaylord. What we had was wonderful, and my life was complete for having known and loved you. But, I'm not here anymore. You control me because I am part of your memory, but that will fade, my darling, as time passes." I started to say that that would never happen, but she placed a paw on my mouth. "Listen. That's the way it should be. Life goes on, Gaylord, and although you'll always remember me, life is more important than memories." She paused and smiled again as she nuzzled my face. "I love you, Gaylord. I always will. And I know you'll always love me. But you must go now to Millicent and make another life." She guided me out the door, but before she shut it, she kissed me.

When I came back from my memory, I found myself in a place I didn't recognize. It looked similar to the room where Fergus' nest was, and several bašar were working, filling sacks like what we slept on. I found a sheltered place and hunkered down.

How wise and right Adele was. Life does go on. It has to go on because it is right now that we have. Not tomorrow and especially not yesterday. Now.

As I sat in this strange room, Chubby, in this strange place, I decided to live there the rest of my life if Millicent agreed. How far I had come from when I escaped Ned and Harriet in the Season of Low Water to this Season of Emergence, and this place. I was a soft, green housie who had the great luck to meet Adele and you, then Fergus and Mutt, and become a real amait, capable to taking care of myself anywhere. I had to laugh. Who would have thought it?

I got up and strolled around a corner where I saw a vision. Seated on a stack of sacks was a gorgeous mollie, a dark reddish tabby with deep dark eyes. Wow, was my first thought. She was cleaning her hind leg when she looked up and saw me, smiled and went back to cleaning her leg. She was exquisite.

My lovely Millicent said as long as I come home, I can have all the mollies I want, and, of course, I need that release, don't you know? I'm young, after all, and not fixed. Nature called. I walked toward her. "I'll be home tonight, sweet Millicent, but right now, I have something to do."

Chapter 28

_Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function._ Unknown

"That's some story," Chubby said. It was dark and raining. He rolled over on his side and cleaned his paws.

"What gets me, though, is how you could stick to a mollie that was fixed. Where's the fun in that?"

"You don't know her. She's really a lot like Adele. She knows what she wants and is tough enough to get it. But, she is so sweet and kind and giving. In fact, I have to watch her or she'll give away everything we have, which isn't much: a few mice, couple of sacks to sleep on. I love her, Chubby, and Adele approves."

"And how's Fergus?"

"He's doing okay. He's old, too. Sick a lot and not as lively as he was. Like you."

"I warned you, Punk."

"Okay. Just kidding."

"How long have you been at the feed mill? That's what it is, by the way."

"Yeah, I know that now. About four months, maybe longer. It's really great, Chubby. You'd love it. Hey, why not come back with me? You'll get to know Millicent and Fergus, and most of the other amai are friendly. There's so much food and warm places to sleep, that no one gets cranky. How about it?"

He finished his paws, sat up, and yawned. "Don't know if I could go that far. You say it's a long way?"

"Yeah. On the other side of town next to the tracks. You could make it. We'd take two days, maybe three. You'd be with me so you'd be safe."

"I don't know, Gaylord. I've been here all my life, know my way around and know all the amai in the clowder. Moving's a big deal at my age."

"Is any amait gonna be here when your time comes?"

"What's it matter? You kick, off you kick off. We're all by ourselves when we die, anyway. Besides, I think I still have some friends who'd be here. No, it's not that I'm thinking about." He looked away and watched the rainfall. I could tell he really wanted to come with me but was afraid of something.

"What's going on, Chubby?"

He continued to watch the rain and said nothing for a while.

"I have a son," he said at last.

"A son?" I was stunned. He never said anything about kiths. "The maama?"

He looked into my eyes. "Adele."

"So, that's why she treated you so special."

"She treated me special because we loved each other, not because we had kiths together."

"Okay, so tell me."

"It's simple, really, Gaylord. Old amai can settle mollies, too. It ain't as easy as when you're young, but we can do it. You'll see in time.

"Adele appeared one day right after she'd escaped, and when she got rid of that garbage dump, Ralph, we fell in love right away, just like you did with her. She was like you when you first got here, soft and inexperienced. I helped her get it together. She came in, and, well, like I said, old amai do all right."

I couldn't say anything. I was feeling mad and hurt at the same time. That Chubby and Adele made kiths was not what ate at me. It was that they didn't tell me right off. Now I stared at the rain, which was easing up, and suddenly, I saw Adele's face smiling at me. I drew a deep breath and looked at Chubby who stared at me.

"Chubby, why didn't you tell me?"

"Adele said not to. Said she couldn't bear you leaving her, because she loved you so much. We'd had our day, now it was yours."

I flopped on my side. "Okay, I can accept that. I still wish you had told me."

"Would you have left her?"

"No. I'm an amait, remember, and even though I was green as grass, I knew mollies had a lot of toms." I sighed and licked my paws. "I left because I needed to find myself. If I had known about you and Adele, I would have still gone away, but it wouldn't have been because you had kiths. I knew Adele had a life before I showed up."

"Sorry to upset you."

"No upset at all. Now what about this son?"

"Adele had one kith. I know before you say it that that is rare. We thought so, too, but he was ours, proof of our love for each other. Well, as you know, Adele was a fickle queen, and as soon as Barakah—that's what we called him because he was our blessing—as soon as she weaned him, she ran him off. I was furious, but she said he needed to get tough and learn to make it on his own."

"So, what was all her khara about me getting tough and learning to make it on my own?"

"That was a different, Gaylord. She wanted you because she loved you. Her kiths she loved, too, but they got to her. Annoyed her. We don't need to go over that again, do we?"

"No, but it's really strange. What she wanted for her son, she didn't want for me. Weird."

"I told her that Barakah needed training, but she wouldn't listen. Like you, it was the one thing about Adele I could never understand. That's why I never settled her again. Too painful."

"Yeah, I understand that. But what makes you think your son, Barakah, will ever show up? How would he ever find you, or how would you know each other?"

"He looked a lot like Adele. You don't have to say it, Gaylord; I know he may not be alive. But if he is and he comes here, I want to be around. That's why I can't leave this spot. Believe me, your invitation is tempting, but I can't leave. Do you understand?"

I thought about it for a moment and put myself in Chubby's place. Could I leave? "I do understand, Old Friend. I'm not sure you're doing the practical thing, but I do understand."

I saw him in a different way now. He was more than just the wise old amait Adele and me knew and loved, the legendary warrior who had protected the clowder when he was a young tom. He cared for all of us and showed it with his love and loyalty; even to a son he didn't know and, probably, would never know. From stories Adele told me, Chubby evolved from an arrogant, self-center amait, who saw life in a mirror, like me, into a teacher revered by all who knew him. I wondered if I'd ever achieve that status, but quickly realized it was stupid; amai like Chubby don't come along too often.

"Okay. I'll visit a lot, and I'll bring Millicent and Fergus back, too, if Fergus can make it." I went to him and licked his face and ears. "Love you, Old Tom. Thank you for being in my life and making me the amait I am."

"The Gaylord I see in front of me has always been here. It just takes time to peel the husk off." He laughed. I love you, too, Whippersnapper. Adele knew what she was doing when she brought us together, hey. Take care."

"Adele was a genius, and you are, too."

I turned and left quickly, running hard for several blocks until I stopped to rest under a tree so large it covered half a lawn. I sat, washed my face and smoothed my paws. I lifted my head and smiled, and without looking, knew Adele sat beside me, watching at me and smiling.

"I caught what you said about Chubby being more than just a wise old amait, that he was touched by something special. It's called grace, Gaylord. Something I learned about after I died. It's awfully hard to explain, but when you see Chubby, you know what it is. He's . . . he's grown up. He's lived long enough to know who he is, but he doesn't brag about it, like you did once. He lives it. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, sweet Gaylord?

"I think so."

"Even now, amai look at you the way they looked at Chubby, and as you get older, they'll watch you more and more, and listen to what you have to say. You're moving down that same path toward Chubby, Gaylord." She licked my ear.

"I'm not sure, Adele, but if I am, it's because of you." I licked her cheek as she faded away.

It was bright and the rain had washed the air. I felt so good I rolled over in the grass and wriggle like some demented, hairy snake.

As I raced home to Millicent and Fergus, I couldn't help but think that my life was all I wanted it to be. If I died right now, I'd die a happy amait because I did everything I set out to do. How many amai can say that?

##

_It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?_ Eleanor H. Porter (1868 – 1920) Pollyanna, 1912

~ ~ ~ ~

Epilogue

Right at dawn one June day about a year after Gaylord completed his narration and left, I heard scratching on my kitchen door. I opened it, and there stood Gaylord, and with him, I assumed, was Millicent whom I had not met.

"Can we come in, Professor? This is my love, Millicent." She was the absolute beauty he had described.

"Of course." I opened the screen wide enough for them, and they hopped inside. "To what do I owe this delightful surprise?"

"Just passing by," Gaylord said. He glanced around the kitchen and I knew what he wanted.

"I thought you were a tough, rugged alley cat, Gaylord. But, I sense you want food. Sorry I don't have a fresh rat. Best I have is something from a can." I opened my cupboard. "Fish? Tuna fish?"

"Sounds good. Once in a while we like a change of pace."

"Yeah. Mice get boring when that's all you have," Millicent said.

"Millicent you are stunning, just like Gaylord said. So happy to meet you."

"Same here. You're all he talks about."

"Mice have fattened you up okay," Gaylord quipped and gave her a playful shove. "But, you're right." He looked at me. "So, where's the chow, Professor?"

"Manners. Manners." I scraped the fish into bowls. "Is that all you came for?"

I put the bowls on the floor, and after they ate several mouthfuls, Gaylord said, "Just came to chat. But, I do have some sad news, actually. First, though, what about the book?"

"Published by the University. Sales are slow—very slow—but we never expected it to become a best seller, did we?"

"No. I just needed to tell it and get it preserved. Wish we amai could read."

"I wish you could, too. I think I did a good job." I smiled at him, and he came over and gave me a lick on my hand. "Okay, hit me with the bad news."

"Fergus died when Low Water began. Millicent found him curled up in the corner of our nest at the granary."

"I thought he was asleep and poked him like I usually do. He didn't move."

"He was gone, all right," Gaylord said. "Thought I'd lose my mind. All my teachers are gone, now."

"All?"

"Yeah. The other sad news is Chubby." He lay down and curled his tail around himself and looked wistful.

"Gaylord, I'm so very sorry. Tell me about it."

"Nothin' much to tell. It was after Fergus died. Me and Millicent needed to get away, so we went back to the old neighborhood. We found his body under his shack. He died pretty much like Fergus did, all curled up, but he'd been dead a long time because he was all dried up and stiff. I cried like I'd never stop."

I could see it was very hard for him when Millicent spoke up.

"I was so worried about him. Never saw him so down."

"I loved him so much, Professor. I still hurt when I think about him."

"Well, you'll have to make rooms for them like you did for Adele and visit them a lot. Do you still visit Adele?"

"Some. Not as much as I did before, but some." He looked at Millicent. "Adele said we'd move away from each other after a while, and she was right. Still love her, but Millicent's my life now." She came to him and kissed his nose.

We spent rest of the day chatting, eating and napping. Well, they napped; I researched my next book on conversational Egyptian during the time of the Old Kingdom.

Gaylord told me he had sired several litters the past year, with Millicent's approval. She accepted that she'd been fixed and Gaylord had not. That he comes back to her remained the agreement, and he always honored it. In fact, she confessed to going to the queens he had settled and helping them with the kittens, or kiths as they call them. She said she missed being a mother, but caring for the kittens of other queens helped soothe the ache she had.

Gaylord said their life was pretty serene. All the mice they wanted, warm dry place to sleep and a bašar who were kind and loving. He insisted he didn't get real close to bašar, as they call us, because he never wants to be captured again.

"I worry that Millicent gets too close and cuddly because she's so beautiful and sweet. But I watch as much as possible, and if it looks like they'd snatch her, I raise a screaming, hissing ruckus until they drop her. She's been close."

Millicent looked at him wryly and said, "I'll never get captured. I bite, remember, and they do not like biters."

After some lap time for both of them, including some loving, rubbing, scent-marking, petting, scratching, kissing and more food, they departed around ten that evening and bid me farewell. I watched them cross my lawn, their tails entwined, and disappear into the darkness of the campus.

My life has never been the same since the day Gaylord first spoke to me. When I approached my agent with the story, she studied me closely for a long time, no doubt wondering if I was dangerous. I finally convinced her it was just a story, a novel of fiction; she relaxed and we got on with business.

The sadness of the book's being considered fiction is for me deep because I want the world to know that cats can talk using real words. I'm afraid that will never be an accepted fact, mainly because we humans are too egotistical about our own intelligence, which we see as exclusive in nature. A few scientists study the possibility of animal transmission of information, but they do not approach it in terms of a verbal phenomenon. They study the noises animals make, try to discover how those noises communicate and think they understand. They don't.

Most all animals are shy. They do not want much interaction with us because our history of treatment of them is abysmal. Our pets trust us, mostly, but even they watch us for signs of possible maltreatment. It is absolute exhilaration when an animal trusts you so much they are willing to speak to you in their language, which they have already determined you know. Gaylord did that after watching and listening to me for a long time.

Well, this book will always be seen as fiction, but I do not care. I know the truth, and so do Gaylord and Millicent. I add in conclusion that many other cats know the story because I have read it to them. Yes, I now talk to cats, all cats that will listen. I have many cat friends with whom I chat regularly. Several know Gaylord by reputation and a few by confrontation. From now until my transitional day, I will speak to any cat that crosses my path, thanks to my dear friend, Gaylord.

Professor F.L. Fuller

Evanston, IL

### Luǧaat Glossary

### The Language of Cats

A'maar Aw'aat Time of the Moon

Abaa'& Agdaad Father & Grandfather

Aha Vulgar expression for feces

Amait, Amai(pl) Cat(s)

Araanib Rabbit.

Bašar Human beings. Insaans and Gaga are also used.

Bast Egyptian cat god, called Bastet.

Bax Penis.

Beh Yeh Urinate; take a piss.

Tuyuur Song Morning.

Clowder A group of cats.

Clowder of Bašar Group of humans.

Coptic Cats use a few words.

Eih Axbar? A greeting between cats: "How you doin'?"

Eikonigow An idol. From Greek. Cats have no word for idol. Akhenaton, a Pharaoh in ancient Egypt who believed in only Ra, had idols other than those to Ra destroyed during his 17-year reign in the 18th Dynasty.

El Nar Fire, especially from a match.

End of Light Night.

Faraawi Fur, especially cats'.

Gahiji Chubby's cat name, meaning great hunter.

Gib A neutered tomcat.

Giddaat Grandmother.

Khara Vulgarism for feces

Kilaab, Kalb(pl) Dog(s).

kiths(pl) Kitten(s).

Kuss ummak Crude insult

Kwayyis Good. Response to Eih axbar.

Lady A'maar Lady Moon.

lamis Soft (Gaylord's sister's cat name)

maama Mama, mother

mollie An unimpregnated female cat.(Irish origin)

Nadam To regret

Nebibi Panther. Gaylord's cat name.

Nibiit Wine

Raeed & Thain Nemeses of Gaylord and

weak cats,old cats and kittens. Raeed, or Raid,

means leader. Thain means follower

Season of Emergence Winter. Proyet in EA

Sheekaga Chicago

Low Water Shemu. Spring.

Singaab Squirrel.

Time of Owls Dusk

Tiraan aha Bullshit

Tuyuur, teir (pl) Bird(s)

Zahra Adele's cat name.

