Thank you for having me.
Certainly.
I have spent most of my life learning about time
space and the nature of existence itself.
However, what challenges my intelligence more than calculating the mass of a blackhole
is the meteoric rise of Donald Trump.
I cannot even begin to grasp the sheer level 
of stupidity that has taken hold of America.
Seriously, what the actual fuck?
He's a flip flopping, tiny underhanded, opportunist.
He is a literal movie villain. I'm pretty sure Lex Luthor
 ran for president in one of the superman movies.
Shout out to Christopher reeves, the best superman ever.
I apologize for the sidetrack.
Back to the dark matter at hand.
A Donald Trump presidency would lead to
the third world war.
This war will be to defeat the Nazi robot uprising
but due to Trumps complete inexperience, humanity loses the war.
This is what I have read in the
ancient sea scrolls of time.
Yes, there are ancient sea scrolls of time.
No, you cannot read them.
I sacrificed the use of my body in a ritual to
 learn the ancient sea language of Atlantis.
All of this may sound like nonsense to you, but is it any 
more crazy than the idea of a President Trump?
Now, if you will excuse me
I must go to the bottom of the Atlantic ocean.
My people need me.
