 
New international students at The Ohio State
University, this story is for you. I hope
my
story can inspire you to develop the confidence-the
courage- to do something very, very brave,
that I had difficulty doing when I was a student
studying in a new country. Something that
seems,
but is not always, simple: that is, to talk.
In the US, saying that someone is shy is not
usually a complement. We value outspokenness;
we admire people who share their opinion freely.
That can be hard for an introvert like myself.
In
high school, then in college, I dreaded any
type of public speaking-the blood would drain
from my
face, and my voice would shake when I had
to give a class presentation, or the like.
However, it was
something I could force myself to do because
I knew it was expected of me.
But then, I studied abroad. I spent my junior
year in college at the University of Geneva,
in
Switzerland, where I took all of my courses,
and lived my daily life, in French rather
than English.
Now when you study abroad, you are thrown
into a new environment. The most ordinary
things are suddenly different and disorienting.
In Geneva, the doorknobs and light switches
looked
different. The cinnamon I bought had a weird
smell. And not only are things different,
but you
realize that you are different, too. Different
from the people around you, and maybe different
from
the version of yourself you knew at home.
If all I had had to contend with was a new
flavor of
cinnamon, I think I would have adapted fairly
quickly, but I had a larger problem: my natural
shyness turned into a sudden lack of confidence
in speaking a language I had thought I knew
well.
At home, I'd been proud of my French language
skills. But in Geneva, shopkeepers and
fellow students would hear my accent and immediately
switch to English, which was especially
annoying because sometimes their English was
far less grammatical than my French. Daily
I felt I
had to battle the stereotype of the "stupid
American" who doesn't know anything about
the world
outside the United States. One day one of
my teachers questioned my ability to understand
her in
front of the whole class, and I went home
and cried in humiliation.
In my first semester abroad, I spoke out loud
in class exactly one time, and I hadn't even
raised my hand-the professor in a literature
class called on me because he saw from the
look on my
face that I knew the answer. I no longer remember
the question, but I do remember the answer:
"Robinson Crusoe." So the only time I spoke
aloud in a French lit class that first term
was to give the
name of an English novel, though French speakers
say it a little differently: Robinson Crusoë.
So
needless to say, I had a slow start feeling
confident enough to speak in class, and had
a hard time
getting over the feeling that I was constantly
being judged. But unexpectedly, after the
Robinson
Crusoe incident-I started to come out of my
shell. The next semester, I even spoke whole
sentences
in class.
I share these experiences of my early time
abroad not because I would want you to follow
my bad example, but so that you know that
feeling scared of speaking in class, or feeling
frustrated
about other people's assumptions about your
language abilities, that's all normal. I have
been able to
grow into a much more confident person, and
you will also grow and change during your
time at
Ohio State, and beyond.
Why do American professors put so much emphasis
on speaking in class, and give you
points in your grade just for participating?
It is not to plunge their students into fits
of nervousness.
It is in large part because every student
brings a unique perspective. Your professors
and fellow
students need to hear your ideas, because
they are unique to you. Will you always have
the right
answer? Probably not, but that's okay. I hope
that no matter how nervous you are now, you
will
have your Robinson Crusoe moment, when you
are the only one in class who knows the answer,
and
sharing it is suddenly not so scary after all.
 
