[Channel Teaser]
u/Kosgaurak asks:
What Are The Most Badass Lines You've Used/Heard
In Your Dungeons & Dragons Campaigns?
Group is sleeping when bandits attack.
Group surrenders to the bandits and they begin
sifting through belongings.
Bandit Captain, to Barbarian: “This is all
you have?”
Barbarian, to Bandit Captain: “I travel
light.”
Rogue, who was keeping watch the whole time
from the shadows, to Bandit Captain: “I
travel quiet”, and slits his throat from
behind.
Party proceeds to kick ass until the remaining
bandits turn and run
Best one I’ve done was ironically while
I was playing someone else’s character when
he couldn’t make it.
We were going to fight a dragon who was subjugating
a tribe of lizardfolk and he’d asked me
to have his character ask the dragon something
before we fought and the rest just happened
to work out pretty perf:
Dragonborn steps up to dragon "What gives
you the right to rule?"
(Question he wanted asked)
Dragon is a bit surprised and answers “I
am powerful"
Dragonborn: "Is that all?"
Dragon: "And people fear me"
Dragonborn: "Is that all?"
Dragon: "What do you want me to say?"
Dragonborn: "Something that I am not"
And then we sprung the trap we’d set and
kicked it’s ass over the course of a grueling
battle.
Ended up getting inspiration even though it
wasn’t my character lol
An undead paladin has joined the party and
is now fighting an army of zombies
Undead Paladin: “You think this is my first
war?!
I’ve probably killed you all before!”
a shady merchant Bagrat hired my adventures
to guard him and his wears as he traveled
to the next town over.
after continually boasting about how great
he was with a sword they got ambushed and
he dropped his sword and ran.
(longsword with an ornate handle)
party defeats multiple skeletons and skeleton
war horses and they make their way into town.
they find him at the tavern , drag him out
and start yelling at him for leaving them
behind and being a coward. he tries to bribe
them to lie and say he fought bravely but
they weren't having that.
he also demands his sword back but they refuse
since he's a coward and deserted them.
flash forward a ways, the party is in a dungeon
to defeat a necromancer and who do they see
down there, Bagrat . a big battle breaks out
and near the end the warlock says "here's
your sword back!" and runs him through , killing
him.
I thought that was an epic line, i lucked
out and got amazing players, hehehe.
This was a moment from my last campaign, confronting
the god of giants who was about to destroy
the world for one reason or another.
BBEG: Ah, at long last, we meet face to face...
do you know why I have come here?
Paladin: I can only assume you are here to
congratulate us on our upcoming victory?
DM had no response, managed to get a surprise
round off during his stunned confusion, and
beat his ass.
Soundly.
BBEG: "My last fight ended with blood all
over my hands!"
Rogue SwashBuckler: "I hope you've learned
to stop picking your nose!"
As the assassin drops down from above onto
a gnome necromancer: "You've left me your
back!"
*The illusion fades as the blade passes through
it* stepping out from behind the barrel:
"It appears that I now have the upper hand."
he states as a 7th level Bigby's hand flattens
the assassin from above.
PC, a Knight, is incapacitated by NPC, also
a knight, during a one-on-one duel of honour.
As the PC is about to be coup-de-gras'd, her
ally, the rugged Monster Hunter steps in front
of bad knight
Hunter: "You two may be bound by honour,"
Swing and hit "But I'm not."
proceeds to kick her ass
New game, new group.
I am playing a cocky crossbow-wielding Rogue.
My roommate is playing a Paladin who is apparently
missing a bunch of brain cells (both the roommate
and the Paladin).
His fiancee is playing a Druid and she doesn't
understand metagaming so I can't do anything
Roguish without an argument ("What do you
mean I don't get ten gold?
He sold it for forty, there are four of us,
I want my ten."
"You weren't in the store, he told you 20,
you failed your roll, he successfully bluffed
you, you only get five."
"No, I heard him just now."
"Your character wasn't in the room, Casey.")
After assorted mishaps in your traditional
haunted manor in which (amongst other things)
the Paladin decides the pale skinned floating
black eyed grinning girl who is on fire must
be in trouble and need putting out, the DM
is giving us huge, massive, tremendous red
flags that we are not supposed to finish this
manor right now.
We are supposed to leave with the MacGuffin
we found and come back in a few levels.
The group decides to press ahead.
The DM (one of my best friends at the time)
and I have been messaging back and forth and
he has already decided that one session in,
there is no way in hell he's DMing for these
people again.
I give him absolutely no blame and I decide
if we're all gonna die, we're gonna die big.
We go into the ballroom of the manor and the
door seals behind us.
We are introduced to a vampire lord.
A small discussion ensues in which it becomes
immediately clear that everyone in this room
is about to be turned into slush.
My Rogue walks over to the wall, uses his
Boots of Spider Climbing to walk a couple
of steps up the wall, turn around, and kick
back with his hands behind his head.
"Since I'm gonna die anyway, I want the pleasure
of watching you kill them all first."
The vampire lord was amused.
There was no second session.
I hope you enjoyed all of these badass lines.
Feel free to share the most badass lines from
your campaigns in the comment section.
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