♪ I just took a DNA test ♪
♪ Turns out I'm 100 percent that Roach ♪
Hey everybody!
Its your boy, Roach.
We're going to explore some
new areas of the map today,
starting with these here
sugar-coated mountains.
Is it November?
Because I'm about to
do some thanks-killing.
Whoop-whoop!
Drink up gamers.
I see a little glowy-glowy.
Oooh, battle ready?
Why, thank you game!
I'm always prepared.
♪ Skip, skip, skip to my Roach ♪
♪ Skip, skip, skip to my Roach ♪
Footsteps!
The first victim.
Why hello there.
And the chase is on!
Lets go, Captain Accuracy.
Yarr!
I'm right behind yee.
Parkour!
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Whoowee!
First blood!
Sorry Chroni Jonny.
You just got roached!
Thank you very much for your sacrifice.
Now to stock up on supplies
and make my next roaching appointment.
Whoo, bullets!
Ah, I've got the high ground.
Fire in the roach!
Not roach just yet.
The chase continues.
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Ah, the sweet smell of roaching.
Oh, I love this gun.
I just wish I had teammates to heal.
(moody piano music)
(crying)
Tanner, why?!
(upbeat music)
Now I'm up here on this roof.
Better vantage points and all that.
I think I hear my next roach.
Going down!
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Right in your face.
You just got roached!
And more bullets.
Perfect because I'm locked and loaded.
What a nice addition to that house.
Sure would be a shame if
someone came and roached it.
It's raining bullets!
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Forecast says cloudy with a chance of
me roaching your (beep).
Too much?
Just picking up some picket fence.
(gasps) Well hello!
Out of the chimney.
You're not Santa.
It's not even Thanksgiving yet.
- [Announcer] Roached!
- That's what I thought.
♪ Why roach great till he gotta be great ♪
Whoop!
♪ I just took a DNA test ♪
♪ Turns out I'm 100 percent that roach ♪
♪ Even when I'm shooting crazy ♪
♪ Yeah, I got roach problems,
that's default in me ♪
♪ Blam, blam, when I shoot
'em, that's the roaches in me ♪
(upbeat string music)
Its my old lazy lake campsite.
Grandpappy used to cook
radioactive baked beans
and watch the stars with me here.
(sighs) Memories.
(echoing) You got brain damage
because of those beans, boy.
Maybe I'll set up a little
camp here and call it a day.
You know, relax from all the roaching.
Gonna pick up this here chest
and head for the loot crate.
(children cheering)
Thanks for the junk, useless crate.
Chopping down trees.
Speaking of trees, be sure to check out
teamtrees.org and help me and Mr. Beast
plant 20 million trees by 2020.
Check it out, guys.
I'm a whale.
(imitating whale noises)
Cute little cabin over here.
Just like when grandpappy
used to take me fishing.
(echoing) You ate all my worms, boy.
Catching a lot of fish sticks right now.
I could open up a sushi bar.
I'll call it Stick of The Fish.
Sploosh!
Sploosh!
Ska-doosh!
Oooh, or maybe I'll
call it Roach 'n' Roll.
Hand roached sushi.
Hoo-hah!
(upbeat string music)
Be free, fish stick!
Wait a minute.
Aha!
There you are.
Swing and a miss.
Man!
The fish sure are jumping high today.
Good thing I've got my
trusty fishing rifle.
Cocky fish wrangler.
Taste my rockets.
You can't build forever, ma'am.
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Babam!
Another one for the books.
You're all roach down here. (evil laugh)
(upbeat string music)
Ever heard of swimming upstream?
Ow!
Ouch!
I'm being attacked!
You can't hide from me.
Roaches have a sense of smell
unmatched by any animal.
I need a roach-straining
order on that player.
Everything can be solved
with rocket launchers.
Someone's down there now too.
Dang, still not enough.
Do you want me to be famous?
Let me roach you!
Whoa oh, storm incoming!
Wah pow!
Don't mind if I drop in.
- [Announcer] Roached!
Roached, but at what cost?
It took half of my
health to roach that guy.
Better shield up before
this final showdown.
Shields on shields on shields!
Oooh, lazy lake spa!
I could go for mani pedi.
I'll have you roaches know,
they're very relaxing.
Roach approved!
It's a ghost town, right little Roach?
- [Little Roach] Gee,
you're right big Roach,
but I'm not afraid.
- Storm's approaching, but
I'm not seeing any roaching.
Your tower defenses mean nothing!
Richard?
Richard, did we get a
tower defense sponsor?
No?
Nothing to see here.
Just an innocent Roach
running around with an RPG.
Oh no!
(screams)
- [Announcer] Roached!
Oh my goodness.
I don't know how I got out of that one.
Better work on your traps, bro.
Trap or die, son.
Trap or die.
Okay, three players left.
I'm feeling another roach royale.
Gun fire!
They must be close.
(upbeat string music)
Just hiding in my hiding hole.
In this really tiny circle
with my really large rocket launcher.
(screams) He was right there!
The storm is right on my tush!
Another giant labyrinth?
Man, I hate these things.
It's so hard to see anyone to roach.
Maybe I can lure them to my location.
(echoing) Hello?
What?
That's, like, a dot.
A teeny-tiny dot!
Oh no!
Not like this!
I can still fight!
(beep)
(beep)
Oh my god.
I'm stuck in here by my own doing.
Oh my god, (beep) me.
I need more time!
Oh well, time waits for no roach.
Tell my sponsors I love them.
See you next time, Roaches.
(electronic beat plays)
