 
Glass Slippers and Stilettos

By Ana Linden

Published by Ana Linden

Copyright 2016 Ana Linden

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any way without the author's permission.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Also by Ana Linden:

Parallel Lives

Albatross

### Table of Contents

Regina and Separate Beds

Belated Introduction

Regina and Selective Memory

Regina Experiments

Regina and the Nice Guy

Regina Gets Engaged

Driving Regina

Regina and the Engagement Rings

For Better...

... **Or for Worse**

Other Books by Ana Linden

Connect with the Author

### Regina and Separate Beds

The search for the perfect man is a challenging endeavour, no doubt about that. But it's nothing compared to the search for the perfect New Year's outfit when a man you once discarded (or who might have carelessly discarded you) becomes all shiny, new and perfect again. There are people out there, in that crazy normal world, who manage to end relationships once and for all... and act accordingly. Such behaviour is completely foreign to Regina. All her theoretically previous relationships are in fact dormant monsters waiting to awaken and be reinstated in a selective memory blink of an eye.

Many single people can attest to the fact that holidays spent on their own constitute a trialling time, but such an option is simply unacceptable for Regina. Any representative of the opposite sex next to her is preferable to the dreaded alternative of not having a date on such an occasion. So if one of those exes, who used to treat her as nothing more than a doormat or a shiny brainless accessory in the best of cases, were to call her all of the sudden and ask her to spend that magical night between years with him in some exotic location, the answer is obvious.

This is how the frantic search for the perfect outfit begins, because the departure is scheduled for the following day and the gentleman in question has not been considerate enough to present her with his invitation at least a few days in advance. He had his reasons to leave it to the very last moment, and she had her reasons to jump at his offer.

But one needs to go through the proper procedure before accepting his invitation. One needs to call one's best friend in order to get advice, in spite of the already made decision. Besides, one also needs to borrow that cute little bag and see if the friend in question doesn't happen to have the perfect outfit to go with it too... It's too late for an impromptu shopping session and she knows her friend has a few dresses that are exactly what her New Year's Eve date would appreciate. Of course, more than anything else, she needs advice, an honest, impartial opinion – also known as approval. Half an hour later, when Inconsiderate calls back to fashionably pretend to try and convince her to join him for the little escapade, Regina can accept his invitation in a not at all convincing, reluctant tone of voice.

So what if her friend tried to remind her about the previous lamentable attempts at having a relationship with Inconsiderate and the despicable manner in which he left her each and every time? That must surely be her friend's envy speaking, Regina is convinced of it, thus only proving that her reasoning was flawless. Part of why she couldn't refuse him is her wish to make all her friends jealous at the thought that she's spending the special night in such exclusivist a place. She will not be alone; she will be spending New Year's in an unexpectedly select location; and Inconsiderate wants her back, offering her the opportunity to outshine all her acquaintances. How could a girl say _no_ to that? And more importantly, why should she? Especially when one doesn't even stop and wonder whether all these matters matter to anybody else...

*

Left all alone in the expensive hotel room by a somewhat bored and restless Inconsiderate, who would rather go have drinks with his friends, Regina is smiling contented, thinking of her good fortune. Quite a while has passed since she and Inconsiderate first dated, she was so innocent back then, Regina is nostalgically reminiscing; and it was exactly that despicable innocence that tore them apart. Meanwhile, she has reached her full potential, so things will be very different this time. She'll show him she can be exactly the woman he wants.

There's just the one little flaw in her plan, Regina notices as she's carefully inspecting the room – the separate beds... Surely this must be what that conversation with the concierge was about, Inconsiderate must have been so disappointed by this mistake. She thought she had heard something about changing the room, but they must not have had anything else available.

Never mind, it's fixable, Regina decides after careful analysis of the situation. The little nightstand between the beds can be removed and placed by the window without bothering anybody. Impatiently, she grabs one of the corners of the nearest bed and starts pulling. The silky cover slips, ankles supported by high heels twist in a very uncomfortable, almost painful fashion and Regina lands – not at all ladylike – on the nice rug which really doesn't feel as soft as it looks. Well then... That's not going to be easy! High heel shoes fly across the room, covers are quickly removed and now she can finally see if all those long hours spent at the gym were worth the effort. There! The two beds finally become one, everything is the way it should have been from the very beginning. She rearranges the decorative pillows and those treacherous covers, all pleased with herself.

Wrapping a towel around her freshly showered body, Regina twirls and looks herself in the mirror again. It's amazing how beautiful and sexy she can be, she sometimes even surprises herself. She smiles and sighs with satisfied confidence – she is so irresistible, that she could have any man she wanted... Inconsiderate will be no exception! How about the innocence in her eyes, which always adds that something special and wins people over? Is it still there? Yes, still there, she decides, after delighting herself with the reflected image; but she'll balance that with her sexy, I'm-naked-under-this-towel look. She's certainly ready; and judging by the noises in the room, Inconsiderate is back, clearly not able to stay away from her anymore.

Seductive and beautiful, Regina enters the room, her eyes gazing around in search for Inconsiderate, wanting to catch a glimpse of desire emanating from his features. Instead, her sudden discovery brings her as close to being mortified as Regina can ever get. The noise she had heard earlier in the room was Inconsiderate pushing the beds apart, even further away from one another then they had been initially. Now he is just lying there, in his bed, watching TV and completely ignoring her. Still full of hope, she sits next to him, alluring and irresistible in her splendour, softly inquiring about the bed movement, while caressing his arm.

"Babe, I thought you understood what this is about... you know I can't be bothered with that... well, not with you anyway, it's not worth it..."

The room is spinning faster and faster as he proceeds to explain his reasons and intentions, and Regina is prostrate with the kind of grief that can only derive from the unbearable sorrow of a hurt ego.

Inconsiderate's girlfriend had broken up with him only a few days before the trip... he was hoping to find a better replacement... but since nobody was available on such short notice, he called Regina. He knew he could count on her. Wrapped in her towel, sitting quietly on his bed, the seductress was thunderstruck.

"Look at my friends, they all have beautiful women with them... I couldn't show up alone; and it's not easy to find a new beauty within a few days, you know..."

Inconsiderate was himself again, thoroughly enjoying to see the presumptuous pretty woman battle the disappointment he was causing her.

"Come on babe, it's a win-win situation. I get to show up with a pretty girl, I still have my friends' respect, you get a free trip out of it, and you don't even have to..." But seeing tears filling her eyes, he decides to choose his words carefully. "You don't even have to sleep with me. I asked for a room with two beds hoping to make you feel more comfortable. We're old friends, what the hell!"

But old friends or not, Regina was on the verge of a hissy fit, all his "consoling" words only making everything worse.

"You know how you get when you sleep with somebody, all needy and moody; and frankly, you're not good enough to be worth the drama and..." But those were clearly not the right words to say, so Inconsiderate could do nothing more than just cowardly flee the hysterical insults thrown at him.

She had clearly not chosen the right man when starting to chase Inconsiderate in the first place. Not even her deficient memory can help her forget that he once compared her love making skills with those of an inanimate object. _But I've changed,_ she kept yelling at him in her best harpy-like tone. That proved to be a useless endeavour; as did throwing a pile of sexy underwear at him, hoping to convince Inconsiderate of said change.

Alone once more, with nobody to share her tragedy, having to face and accept the separate beds situation, Regina also has to accept taunting memories that refuse to stay selectively lost. Inconsiderate has no knowledge of it, but when initially leaving her for not being appealing enough, he became an influential factor in Regina's evolution. Non-revealing, somewhat blend, often boring outfits used to be her signature style. That's how you get a husband, she had been taught; she was also quite sure her mere existence would be reason enough for any man to reach ecstasy. On top of everything else, she had the upper hand, she looked the part of the moral compass she believed herself to be, thus feeling entitled to pass judgement on any other woman.

What really annoyed her at the time, she remembered, was the fact that her style had worked on several men, all enthralled by her innocent beauty and charm. She was particularly fond of one memory... After a pleasant evening together, her date was walking her home. It was a warm summer evening and she was wearing the most unassuming, somewhat outdated dress and pink flip-flops. They had had such a great time together, that she just didn't want their date to end, so she invited him to stay for coffee. But it was only their second date, so he chose to be a perfect gentleman... yet when he held her tight and gave her a long, passionate goodbye kiss, pressing his body against hers, she could clearly feel how much he desired her. So men had to make an effort to control the wild desire she stirred up in their loins, in spite of those unrevealing outfits she used to wear. However, she failed to remember a few insignificant details... They had to run through torrential rain that beautiful summer evening and by the time they reached her door, the boring dress was nothing but a semi-transparent piece of cloth clinging to the naked body underneath. But such things rarely make a difference when it comes to a man's desire anyway...

Meeting Inconsiderate was a revelation. He was the first real man she fell in lust with and not only did he fascinate her, but he also made her feel small and simply not good enough. Everything about him exuded power and success, she felt; and she absolutely loved how he only wore designer clothes and accessories... She was equally impressed and intimidated by his disdain for people who found it acceptable to drape their bodies in cheap, ordinary clothes and in case one didn't manage to catch a clear glimpse of all the labels he was wearing, he would certainly find a way to work it into conversation. Women were occasionally exempt from the designer rule, if and only if the flashy outfits covering their perfect bodies left very little to the imagination and their pretty faces expressed endless awe and admiration for him. Complete with an equally extravagant car he would change at least yearly (because he kept wrecking each and every one of them), the stunning new man in Regina's life was absolutely irresistible. Anyone saying otherwise was just too jealous to admit it!

As far as he was concerned, Inconsiderate perceived Regina as a redoubtable challenge and he was curious how long it would take him to make the "sexy nun" his. Not that long, a disappointed Inconsiderate got to learn and share with his friends... While he enjoyed the novelty of shy, innocent Regina for about five minutes, she was too much work. For a man used to be served in bed, finding himself in the position of making the slightest effort to reach sexual bliss may have been new and amusing at first, but it soon became inconvenient, as his natural laziness took over. Sure, under those dull clothes she wore there was a body to die for, but what good was that, if nobody else but him could notice it, and none of his friends could envy him for having such a hot girlfriend? No, no, no, their relationship could not go on, not like that, not unless she was willing to present herself in a different light.

Regina was nothing if not determined. Once he pointed out all her flaws, she started seeing the error of her ways, thus proceeding to improve herself in order to be able to get the kind of man she wanted. In fact, the makeover had been so successful, that a few days later he didn't even recognize her. He simply walked by without noticing her, completely focused on his new girlfriend, who looked like an underwear model and was not too shy to show it. Regina ran out crying, abandoning the party that was supposed to get Inconsiderate to see her true self. But they would cross paths again and again. She was always unable to resist his charm and he always wanted her back whenever he noticed how good she looked on somebody else's arm.

Sometimes they both believed they were meant to be together... but most of the times she was the only one to have hopes for a common future, while Inconsiderate was generally bored by such conversations, the same way he was bored by anything that didn't refer to sex, money, cars and how generally amazing he was.

*

_Oh well... at least I'm not alone; at least I'm not not doing anything on New Year's Eve..._ With renewed hopes, Regina starts tidying up her things. After all, fake is as good as real, as long as nobody knows the truth... But reality often has the bad habit of rearing its ugly head, breaking the delicate thread of make-believe. In such desperate situations, Regina has to succumb to more honest impulses and call her good friend to ask for help and a shoulder to cry on. The trip has been spectacular, the stuff of dreams, but as it happens, she needs to be picked up from the airport... Inconsiderate has had enough of her attempts to seduce him, and since he no longer needs a pretty thing hanging on his arm, he can just get rid of her in his usual classy manner.

However, all is not lost. A victim yet again, Regina is almost looking forward to a night of lament and self-pity, crying in a friend's arms, punctuating the account of her drama with lavish details about her luxurious trip... not to mention she is the proud owner of all those photos that will instantly stir up everyone's envy!

### Belated Introduction

Between long, fake, mascara covered lashes, her innocent doe eyes are glowing with happiness today as she's running to hug you, looking forward to sharing her great news with a friendly sounding board.

Yes, she genuinely looks innocent, because she is convinced she is. So don't blame yourself, you're neither stupid, nor crazy, as she will undoubtedly make you wonder sooner or later. Regina is finally on the right track.... I'm sorry, I meant to say Regina's career is on the right track, because she got that job she interviewed for last week. Humble and grateful, she realises how lucky she is to have been picked for such a great, well-paid job. No, she is not joking. In fact, had one not known how everything came about, her words would honestly prompt one to envision these serious people grilling her with all sorts of professional queries, while there were hundreds of other candidates hoping to occupy the same position.

It was all about the position, though; and you can remember clearly how she got to learn about that particular job opening. She told you herself. So you know that her pseudo boyfriend went crying to daddy, asking him if he hadn't by any chance heard of any job opportunities for poor little Regina, the one so unfairly oppressed and exploited by her old employer. Daddy did consider it and after meeting Regina and verifying her professional credentials, the sharp businessman that he was concluded that there might be further opportunities to be derived from that collaboration. Worst case scenario, she would be just another average employee, as able or unable to carry out the actual tasks of the job as anybody else would have been. So after all the interview formalities are carried out, the one and only candidate who knew and applied for said job is informed about her success, which she now wants to share with everybody, fully aware of her unbelievably good fortune and privileged condition, suddenly blissfully unaware of what triggered it. She has already decided that was something not worth remembering.

It was her outstanding merits, education, experience and relentless effort which got her the dream job. She said it out loud, so it became true that very moment. With a hint of sarcasm, you almost verbalize your thoughts. _It was merits, experience and effort all right, not everybody can handle such positions..._ But you just smile amused, saying nothing but congratulatory words. After all, what's the harm in it? It's been done since the dawn of time, she's certainly not the most unable of people. Good for her, she may not have gotten what she wanted otherwise; and who's to say another person might have deserved it more? Besides, she is genuinely grateful for her chance and sincerely aware of her luck.

*

Week 1 – Gratitude

Any modern young woman knows and accepts the importance of appearance and proper attire at the work place, especially during those crucial first days on a new job, and Regina is no exception to the rule. What one wears often defines who one is and appearance exerts a tremendous influence on the way people will perceive and treat a person. So the first thing to do after Regina gets the good news is to go shopping for new outfits appropriate for that amazing work place.

For most people, the first week is more than an adjustment period. It is a challenging, exhausting and frustrating trial for Regina as well. Days go by with her strutting around the office in her new outfits, which barely reveal her surgically enhanced chest, wondering why she was chosen to do that job, since she feels like an incompetent fool who knows nothing. But she is so grateful for the chance she got, that she does her best and makes a great first impression.

She is friendlier than anybody would have expected a pretty girl to know how to be. She is incredibly hardworking, even when she doesn't really do anything right. But most importantly, she is so deliciously vulnerable. The one everybody expected to be so smug and conceited is actually so surprisingly modest and demurred, even insecure at times, her big eyes filling with tears when she does something wrong. So nobody can resist helping her, nobody can bring themselves to criticize her, thus risking to cover that delicate doll face with a dark shadow of regret, insecurity and fear. _It's ok, don't worry, we'll fix this.... No, no, no, it's not your fault, you'll learn, we all make mistakes, especially early on._

Eyes humbly staring at the floor, supported on either side by a benevolent figure, Regina will find her way towards the end of her first week, understanding how everything works and what needs to be done. Not yet having found her path to confidence, she will still strive to do everything right. Incidentally, she does find her way to the hearts of her older colleagues as the perfect daughter they always wanted. She warms up the soul and phantasy of the men in the office as the embodiment of a dream, that of the perfectly sensual, yet proper woman. As for the other girls, not even the ones who don't look up to her, wishing to emulate her in every way, can bring themselves to dispute her obvious merits and openly antagonize her, because she has already quietly established herself as the innocent face of the office.

*

Week 5 – Attitude

Gone are the days of modesty... Confidence has taken over and so has Regina. She woke up one morning, suddenly realizing what she had known all along; going through such a transition with nobody on her needy side, she had simply forgotten it... Or maybe everybody else has smothered her, with the exact purpose of making her doubt herself and her true value. She is important. She is an important person, with an important job and the inherent pressure and stress earn her that generous salary. She was chosen from the crowd of applicants because she is the best and she has exquisite qualities which make her an invaluable addition to the team, and her employers were lucky to have finally found her. In fact, she often wonders how they were getting along before she got there...

Slowly, but surely, she has evolved from doing her job and appreciating everybody else's help to giving orders, pouting and letting her colleagues carry out her tasks, because she simply doesn't see why somebody of her calibre should be bothered with such menial things... even though they are part of her job description and she does get paid handsomely for it. Regina has bigger and better things to do, like pout, look pretty and check out all the latest status updates, while she is waiting for everybody else to notice and understand that she is meant to be one of the leaders, not one of the cogs in the system, since she is indeed above all mere mortals. She will not verbalize any of these thoughts just yet, her education is above that after all, and Regina will make do with silently looking down on everybody and occasionally pretend not to notice her co-workers having to do her job.

In their turn, people start wondering whether they had indeed assessed her correctly, baffled by the sudden change, not really sure how to react and what to believe anymore. Two camps are starting to be perceivable on the office front – one of them is beginning to show doubt and question her reasons and value, the other one is under a blind spell and they completely admire and serve her, either because they harbour a certain sexual desire for her or some masochistic appreciation and pity for the portrait of a victim that Regina is now proudly displaying.

*

Week 55 – Brat-itude

The age of entitlement... Nothing is sadder than for a deserving person not to receive the adequate treatment and compensation. Modesty long overcome and forgotten, Regina is now basking in the warm, satisfying glory of being the non-victimised victim. "It's not you, it's me" applies perfectly to the situation, with just the one addition – "it's me that's too good for this place".

She has reached that cathartic moment which put an end to any scruples she may have had about complaining to anybody and everybody who might or might not wish to listen. Her job is by now secure due to the tangled web of affairs, seduction rituals and flirtation with all the superiors willing to show any interest in her. By now, everybody has figured out who she is and her only allies left are those mousy creatures still feeling terribly flattered whenever she shows them any attention or interest and the few men who still hope to find out which the legends are and what the truth is regarding her position... between the sheets.

Again, she finds herself alone, simply tolerated as the once able employee who now chooses to do nothing but pout, bitch and complain all day long, spouting orders she is not entitled to give to people who never listen to her. Her superiors' dalliances having ensured that she could never be fired without facing severe repercussions, Regina can now focus on the real problems in her life, especially on her peace of mind. Since confession is good for the soul, she never wastes an opportunity to share her sorrow and inquire about a potentially new job, because she is severely disparaged, underappreciated and underpaid at the current one, her boss being a real oppressor, one who forgets who she is and often has the indecency to demand she do the work she is paid for.

Somewhere during that endless string of complaints and self-pity which she taught herself to believe to be true, you feel entirely lost, wondering if your memory is playing some awful trick on you, as you can remember how humble and grateful she was not that long ago. People are mean and envious, you see... they keep doing their best to prevent her from succeeding. She is young, beautiful and more intelligent than the rest of them, so naturally there is no opportunity for a well-deserved promotion when it comes to somebody like her. Instead, they take advantage of her good nature and all her hard work and efforts. If only she could find some better work environment, since this is clearly among the worst ones imaginable...

The squeaky affected voice seems to never find an end to her grievance, while you might already look astounded and wonder who Regina really is, what lurks behind that beautiful, selfless and generous façade, the one you had actually trusted and in whose best intentions you believed.

*

There is a very good chance the term "introduction" was wasted on the wrong person, since it's more than likely that everybody has met Regina. Everyone has had the (dis)pleasure of crossing her path and maybe even of having to deal with the storm in a teacup which is her trademark. The lucky few have found a way to observe and analyse her in an unperturbed fashion, perhaps even learn something from all her drama and the hell she raises, whereas the unluckier ones are still trying to get her out of their hair.

Regina roams freely in the urban jungle and she seems to thrive on everybody's misery and drama, including her own. But spotting Regina and uncovering her true nature is not always easy, not so much because of her chameleon-like features, but because she is a hybrid from so many points of view. The skills of the accomplished liar she is are best used on herself. This is how she manages to confuse, if not completely fool everybody, at least for a certain period of time, since any house of cards has to collapse eventually. Even when that does inevitably happen, it is certainly not her fault. This is one of the first and most important aspects one learns and must remember when dealing with Regina: nothing that happens to her, because of her or involving her is ever her fault.

### Regina and Selective Memory

It starts off light, little things here and there, which only make you believe she is simply a more forgetful person than others. An assignment not carried out in time leads way to an almost hysterical reaction as she is blaming everybody for not letting her know she was the one supposed to do it. Nobody can possibly imagine she would react that way if indeed she had known and forgotten about it. That is, until the situation becomes a recurrent event... because she does indeed forget, she forgets she was told in the first place; then she forgets having forgotten. Therefore it never happened.

Everybody else is crazy, she is the only sane one, she is unfairly criticized. In fact, everybody conspires to destroy her bit by bit. She is the victim, can you not see it? You might shake your head in a disapproving manner. _No, no, I don't see it..._ Yet the truth is, you believed her the first time, the second time, the tenth time, together with everybody else, because she also believed herself. But then you witnessed facts and situations that made you stop questioning your own sanity and start doubting hers.

Everybody lies, for a variety of reasons. It's a commonly known and accepted fact. Some lie to protect themselves or their loved ones; others may lie to get ahead, to satisfy their ambition, to cover their shame, to comply with rules which don't suit them, to simply amuse themselves or just because they can. They are aware of it and most of them are even ready to take responsibility and face the consequences if they get caught, as the so-called respectable adults they supposedly are.

What happens however, when one staggers on an illusory mountain of make-believe, so as a result thereof one can no longer deny who or what they have become? Some might just try to remedy the situation, to discover themselves in the ruins of their lies and find a way to move on, perhaps even try not to repeat the same mistakes. But what if those beautiful high heels one walks on support nothing but an equally beautiful, yet somewhat empty shell, which finds it terribly difficult to shelter too much character?

Regina is not like everybody else, she knows it and she cultivates this idea, mainly to the benefit of her own peace of mind. Among those things that make her so special – aside from her uncanny intelligence, unspeakable beauty and impeccable taste, of course – are her high moral standards. Therefore she makes for one very interesting case study, as all people may lie, but not so many of them have so helpful a subconscious that it literally deletes all unwanted and unacceptable memories.

To put it briefly, Regina is an amazing example of selective memory, which turns out to be of great help to her, because this is exactly what makes her honest when lying... or so she thinks. This is also what supports her holier than thou attitude, as she finds herself entitled to criticize all those around, appointing herself as the moral barometer in her little universe. But witnessing her selective memory in action when she herself can no longer remember who or what she's done turns out to be one of the most entertaining – even if at times frustrating – shows she can put on.

*

"I can't believe she's sleeping with a married man... I'd never do that," are the words ending the bit of gossip she's regaling you with, and while Regina broaches an air of innocence mixed with sincere looking outrage, words escape your lips before your baffled brain can censor them in any way.

"Shouldn't the innocent cast the first stone? Perhaps you're not the one to speak..."

But clearly you are the one who should have kept quiet, you decide as soon as you notice her terribly offended look. It's just that you are her confidante, maybe the only person who knows her and accepts her for who she is, you are in fact her real, objective memory, because you do remember many aspects of her life a lot better than she does. That's why you are also outraged when hearing the words coming out her mouth. If she wants people to accept her for who she is, without judgement, then she should extend the same courtesy to those around her. So you will not be quiet this time, thus becoming a champion of the unknown woman who was the subject of gossip.

"Yes, yes, yes, I mean you, Regina, Miss Innocence Untainted, I know what you've been up to... you're the one who told me everything; and unlike you, I also remember it. Other people remember it too, yet they don't crucify you for it. I remember all the details you've clearly chosen to burry deep in some corner of your mind, the same way I remember holding your hand when your married man decided he'd had enough of your drama and broke up with you!"

You proceed to offer specific details about it, because Regina is still not sure you're not joking, so you tell her how they met. He was exactly what a girl needed on a lonely night, handsome, well-read, funny, great in bed, but above all successful, wealthy and generous... and married. But he needed company, she needed validation and so much more, so they had been such a great match. Well, at least for a while, until he mentioned he was redecorating the apartment he was using for his private encounters and she took it as an invitation to move in and start suggesting he divorce his wife. Their parting of ways had been a lot less sweet than their initial fairy-tale like encounter, but what great romance doesn't end tumultuously? She cried on your shoulder for several days, doesn't she remember that? Those delicious spoils of war had been her only consolation while she was trying to mend her broken heart.

You remind her that the earrings she's wearing are a gift from him. Then you also remind her of other men she dated, men who were involved in other relationships and who chose to leave other women for her, yet nobody accused her of anything. After all, everybody has the right to decide what they're going to do with their personal lives. With a coy smile and batting eyelashes, she disarmingly admits to her momentary amnesia.

"That's right, I forgot all about that... oh well..." And with the pouty, manipulative tone of a spoiled child, she then adds the inevitable, "anyway, that was different."

You look at her inquisitively and while laughing at the little hypocrite, you ask, "Really? How so?"

Without a shadow of hesitation, with the same innocent voice deflecting any sort of responsibility, Regina replies, "Because it was me..."

*

"Oh, I've been meaning to tell you, I've seen your Ex today," you wonder in and mention to Regina one day, meeting her for coffee.

Silly of you to think that relating a funny anecdote about having run into an ex of hers in your favourite lingerie store would amuse her...

Selective memory works in mysterious ways, you suddenly remember while she pouts and accuses you of all sorts of sins, such as betrayal, false friendship and selling her to the enemy. With all those invectives thrown at you in one angry breath, you can barely gather yourself and wonder what the hell you did wrong this time, in order to earn you such a warm welcome.

It all becomes clear when you slowly understand that if some people might forget a name, a date or a place, Regina can forget an entire relationship. Thus you are blamed for all kinds of unfriendly, treacherous behaviour, because she only remembers the first time she dated that particular man. But the second time around – the one which lasted half a year or so and even brought about the possibility of an impending wedding – is lost somewhere in the mists of Regina's selective memory. So of course you exchanging a few friendly words with the fellow is more than dubious, especially since you didn't even know Regina when she and Ex were soul mates for the first time... Right... now that you put all the pieces together, you gently remind her of the second time around.

"What second time? Like I'd ever give that creep another chance..."

Breathing deeply, begging god for all the patience he can spare, you play your part, that of human reminder, sticky note, or whatever else might help jog your so-called friend's memory. After re-iterating a series of events that you shared with Regina and Ex, from their rekindled love to their tragic breakup (the man's career was not going well at all, so she suddenly realised they were terribly bad for each other). Still noticing her utter disbelief, you know you need to resort to that ace up your sleeve... Besides, her pitiful, disappointed look triggered by your "tall tale" meant to redeem you as a friend starts to irritate you more and more.

"Look at your watch," you'll say. "Just look at the damn thing!"

Oh yes, you're starting to lose it, because selective memory proves to be more frustrating than amusing today.

"That's right, look at it and think back, think as hard as your pretty little head allows you to. Now tell me, who gave you that watch, it was a getting back together gift from...?"

Then there was light... And all is right in the world, now that Regina can remember not only a person, but an entire relationship that almost ensured her the marriage she claims to so desperately desire. Ok, fresh coffee has arrived and the two of you can go back to being friends (whatever that might mean to Regina), happily gossiping your meeting her Ex.

"He's doing well these days", you can't help mentioning the heart-breaking piece of news. "Don't be silly, of course he didn't ask about you, you made it clear you never wanted to hear from him again..."

There's no need to ask yourself why she only remembers the first half of her story with Ex, it's the same reason why she only sees and remembers half of her entire existence. That was the part from which she could derive some reasons to gain everybody's sympathy, portraying her as the innocent victim of an unworthy man, whereas remembering their second failed attempt implies acknowledging and admitting to her own shortcomings.

Even Regina managed to experience a slight pang of guilt, perhaps even shame, refusing to see the man face to face when he asked her for those things he had left at her place. So you had to be the one meeting him, handing him that sad box of irrelevant, miscellaneous things, the debris of their relationship. You had to be the one to answer his questions, because Regina had left him without a word. You had to be the one to provide him with some sort of half decent explanation as to why she was not able to stand by him until he got back on his feet (especially since the real reason was that somebody else better had come along in Regina's life). You had to be the one to see him pick a shirt from that depressing box while melancholically telling you about all the good times they had together. You were the one cursing Regina's inability to deal with the consequences of her behaviour.

You hear people say, "That's all right, forget it, it never happened," but that's more than a figure of speech for Regina. It's a way of life. You drink your coffee while Regina cheerfully and loudly reminds you all sorts of things about her and Ex (which sadly enough, you never forgot); and you wonder if the truth is really that close to surface, needing just a sudden jolt to see the light of day and escape the chimera of her mind, or it's all just a sick, twisted game, which she plays even with those who know the facts behind the illusion, hoping that sucking them into her world would only make her creation more believable...

But cheer up now, Regina will live to forget another day!

### Regina Experiments

She couldn't ask for more. Well, she will eventually find a way, but for now... Ever since she started working there, she was dying to go on one of their legendary corporate retreats. Luxurious resorts, expensive hotels and the fun... oh, the fun and debauchery everybody was talking about... how they all advertised it from day one, how they all wanted her to be part of it as soon as they laid eyes on her scrumptious features, how they dreamt of making her part of their sensual games... How they all wanted her!

It was no longer day one. That nagging thought was starting to sip into her mind more and more often, a lot more often than she would have liked to admit or acknowledge. Those quiet hours when she was left to actually do her share of work alone, with no help from anybody, like the martyr she was, were no longer isolated incidents. The more common such situations became, the more restless she felt. She was by no means one of the many, and she did not appreciate being treated as any other banal co-worker.

Eeeh! That hurt! The high-pitched moan escaped her lips as soon as the woman in a white uniform removed the first strip of wax. It'll be worth it! Pain followed by pleasure, it's always worth it, she had to remind herself. As the wax touched her skin again and again, she felt the need to congratulate herself on the wise decision of taking the day off. She needed a few hours of pampering before the big trip, a reprieve from all the stress, so she could get ready to fully enjoy the weekend's pleasures. But time was also required to clear her mind and figure out the optimal plan, that perfect balance between delectable debauchery and worthwhile, career-oriented depravity. Experience had taught her men were more open and supportive of her cause in an intimate environment, and she was relying on this opportunity to reacquaint herself with an old friend.

She had initially hoped he could join them throughout the entire retreat, for professional reasons, of course... and at the same time, she wished he would not be able to offer her that much of his precious time. What a coup it would have been, to be seen at his arm the entire weekend! Everybody knew she was his protégé and as a powerful figure in the company, he could easily ensure her career opportunities. Yet people were starting to forget she used to date him once, they were now taking her for granted, expecting her to behave like any other ordinary employee. They needed to be reminded how vital she was to the organization, how her efforts alone kept everybody and everything on the right track and... But what a bore that would be! Swept off her feet by her self-adulation and glorification, Regina landed right into that pool of self-pity and depression she remembered so well from back when the two of them used to date.

An involuntarily melancholic sigh accompanied either the painful sensation the woman in white was inflicting on her or the fond memory of the man's impeccable pedigree. He was the perfect date for any social event. Other beautiful women would have a difficult time finding an equally successful and impressive partner. She had even toyed with the idea of becoming Mrs Impeccable Pedigree, but enchanting as such a reverie may have been, he had never asked her to legally be his significant other; and she was never able to forget how he bored her to tears when it was just the two of them. Nor could she forget what a mediocre, yet perverted lover he was... _Sex with him would have definitely put me to sleep, had he not spouted out all those obscenities,_ she remembered once telling a friend over a cup of coffee with a side of girl talk. As luck would have it, he wasn't able to spend the entire weekend with them, but he would definitely stop by and catch up with her. Things have a way of falling into place at the right moment when it comes to Regina and her needs.

With her professional prospects sorted out, Regina could now focus on everything and everyone else. She knew exactly who she wanted. She had resisted him for so long, they had played such a sensual seduction game from the very beginning, but it was finally time to indulge herself. Sure, he was now pretending not to want her anymore, his tantrums making it impossible for the two of them to work together, but it was exactly this distance that made her understand how much she really wanted him. With every offending word, with each disrespectful gesture, Regina came closer and closer to the belief that he might just be her soul mate. She wasn't about to let him become the one who got away just because of office politics...

*

Preparations for such getaways can be exhausting. The young woman felt she could relax, completely let go and allow anticipation to fill her soul only when the throbbing engines covered her thoughts, the plane taking her towards the clouds, everything on the ground becoming smaller and smaller underneath them. She would sleep until they landed; the idea that exactly the man she desired for this weekend wanted nothing to do with her was something her ego could not accept just yet.

Her sources had informed her he was no longer interested. In fact, she did overhear him mentioning that he'd rather pay for a prostitute than have sex with her. _I hurt him when I rejected him before... he's acting up, that's all... he still wants me just as much...he's just teasing me... oh, you Tease, you..._ But before she was able to entirely justify his behaviour in a manner to suit her plans, Regina fell into a deep sleep, the kind that makes the sweetest dreams seem almost palpable.

"She's exhausted, poor thing... let her sleep..." An older colleague who refused to believe such an angelic face could mirror anything but a good heart was sympathetic.

"You'd be exhausted too, if you got that much action every night! I bet she's got a schedule by her bed, to keep track of who's next..."

Some smiled, trying not to burst into laughter; others couldn't be bothered with such polite behaviour. Amused by his own comment, the man who would have chosen a prostitute over Regina was still laughing when an angry paper plane which started the journey as a vomit bag crashed into his chest.

"Sure... of course you'd take her side..."

The young woman whose hand had launched the now fallen paper aircraft is throwing angry looks at all those laughing. Powerless in front of their banter, she can't do anything else but tenderly cover Regina with a blanket and marvel at how beautiful and vulnerable she looks when she sleeps.

*

The door of a luxurious hotel suite closed quietly behind the sensual woman heading towards a smaller room on the other side of the corridor. It couldn't have gone better with Mr Impeccable Pedigree. What a boost to a woman's confidence, self-respect and self-appreciation he was! Such a sweetheart... He arrived at the hotel shortly after they had and when everybody went to the restaurant for a late lunch, Regina made her great entrance with him, for all of them to notice. In a matter of minutes, he managed to ensure her confortable, cosy position at work, a raise and possibly a promotion. That's why she was now light-heartedly jumping up and down with joy, her mind deep in dreams of professional bliss.

She always knew she would be successful, she always knew she would be a career girl... well, at least until she got married... And such a considerate soul he was... He got that wonderful suite and paid for it for the duration of her stay – he knew he'd only be there for the afternoon, but he wanted her to be confortable, he couldn't stand the idea of her having to share one of those average double rooms with another girl. And how understanding he proved to be... In a mere second she was in front of the bathroom mirror – no, the few tears she shed in front of him left no perceivable marks, thank goodness.

She accompanied him to his suite after lunch and when he was done showing her the beautiful view, he gently put his arms around her and kissed her softly. He had missed her so... In the middle of what promised to become a rather passionate kiss, Regina burst into tears. She had missed him too, she wanted to give the two of them another chance. But she was so sorry and so embarrassed, she had no idea she would react that way. It was just too soon, she ended everything with her boyfriend so abruptly and so recently, she was so messed up after that relationship... Yes, she needed some time to herself, she was so happy he could understand that... and she was so upset with herself at the same time. A great guy like him surely deserved a better woman, not the emotional mess that she was. Impeccable Pedigree gave her a tender hug – he understood, he understood so well, he sighed while stroking her silky hair. He was looking forward to seeing her soon after her return, hopefully in a better state of mind. Thank him? She needn't say such silly things, there was nothing to thank him for; she could always count on him.

The man's voice betrayed feelings deeper and more conflicted than he wanted to admit even to himself. He hadn't got where he was by being naïve or oblivious to human nature. He had heard all the rumours about her, of course he had; but he wanted to believe those big, innocent looking eyes. He wanted to believe that there are women like the one she appeared to be when they first met – gorgeous, intelligent, modest, selfless, loyal and honest. Knowing that he could have such a woman warmed his heart in those dull, cold business hours as well as in those moments of impaired consciousness, when he found delight in the most obscene pleasures his successful existence offered him. If he believed the rumours, that meant she wasn't such a woman. Then he wouldn't have had such a woman, he wouldn't have been a man who could have such a woman. His ego didn't allow for such a possibility.

Yes, he had been a perfect gentleman, drying her tears and making her laugh, giving her hope and encouragement. Regina looked at her watch – five more minutes; she wanted to be sure he was gone before moving her things to the suite he offered her. He may have been a gentleman, but she didn't feel like seeing him again that weekend. She smiled at the mirror and the vixen smiling back made her feel proud.

So far, so good.

Mr Impeccable Pedigree was no longer on her mind a moment later. Tease had replaced him, taking over her every thought, spreading a feeling of warmth and desire through her entire body.

*

The cocktail dress and the expensive sandals were supposed to accomplish that which Impeccable Pedigree hadn't. He may have been able to condition their professional respect, he may have been able to secure her job in spite of anything she might or might not do, but the ones who didn't like her hadn't changed their opinion. On the contrary, she had to put up with quite an uncomfortable afternoon of teambuilding activities.

What should have been the preliminaries for the fun evening and night ahead turned into a parody as far as she was concerned. Some of her peers' rude comments, mean remarks and impolite banter made it quite clear that Impeccable Pedigree hadn't managed to properly defend her honour and restore her innocence in their eyes. Their sheepish, obliging manners and friendly gestures were only meant to fool him, to help them get into his good graces, so now Regina was furious. They were envious, she knew it; they just couldn't accept that a young, beautiful woman can be as smart and successful as she was. They were projecting all their frustration and failures on her, making her life miserable.

She took a deep breath. Boys will be boys, they knew they couldn't have her, that's why they were acting out. Any memory of the ones who did have her or of those who chose not to have her even if they could have had completely deserted her. Tonight was all about reminding them how delicate, beautiful, sensual yet innocent she was. The soft loose curls flowing on her shoulders, the light makeup discretely emphasizing her doe eyes and luscious lips, the respectable dress hugging her perfect figure without revealing too much of it left nothing to chance. Only the beautiful, sexy sandals suggested that she was also a woman willing to fall prey to her weakness and desires, just like the rest of them... a woman willing to join them and be part of their own weakness and debauchery.

There was one particular man to whom she wanted to convey all this, the very man who had ignored her the entire day. That's ok, she knew why he was behaving that way. On the one hand, he was punishing her for the way she had treated him; her thoughts hadn't always been clear in the past, she hadn't always known she wanted him. But if she were to be punished by anyone, he was definitely one who made the prospect seem so sensual, so attractive.... On the other hand – it had only occurred to her earlier that day and that only made her want him more – he felt threatened by her and her career opportunities. That must surely be the case.

The only weakness Regina would fall prey to this evening is that of her knees.

"Jealousy makes you look old..."

Had he really said that or had she just imagined it? What would be worse, him uttering those words when walking by, holding his lady of the night by the hand or him completely ignoring her? Determined not to be ignored, Regina decided she heard his words and noticed the smirk as he was leaving with... with that creature. Was that cheap tramp looking down on her by any chance? No, she must be imagining that part of the story, no such woman would dare look down on her...

The more she thought of the unbelievable situation, the more she felt her appealing chest fill with righteous outrage and disgust. The morals some people have – or rather don't have – these days... you never know what to expect from anybody anymore... unspeakable things done by people so close to you... But cheap she was not. Much as she tried, Regina couldn't stop thinking of the handbag and shoes that woman was wearing. _Damn it, I have the same pair in pink!_ She knew exactly how much they cost. And she had eyed that bag for months, but it was still out of her financial reach. Sure, the dress was tacky, too short, too tight, with too revealing a cleavage, but Regina's expert eye could put a rather accurate price on it... and unlike the cleavage, it was not low. _That fucking whore makes more money than I do!_ The thought crossed her mind while staring at Tease and his high-class escort heading for the elevators. She couldn't tell whether or not that bothered her more than the fact that he would spend the night with the paid for lady of the night when he could have had her for free.

Her scrutinizing eyes failed to notice how much more she and Lady-Of-The-Night shared. However, the striking resemblance did not go unnoticed by the spectators their curious love triangle had attracted. Several benevolent souls offered their unsolicited opinions about the similar height, eyes and hair colour, body type and posture. The only aspect left unmentioned was the fact that most of them found Lady-Of-The-Night to be a lot more pleasant a person, in spite of her taboo profession.

The resemblance that everyone but her seemed to notice and ferociously point out was the confirmation Regina was looking for. To her, it didn't mean that Tease had a type, a certain "configuration" that turned him on in a woman. It meant that he was obsessed, probably madly and undeniably in love with her, so much so that he unconsciously kept looking for inferior versions of her in order to satisfy his needs. Having refused the original who had openly offered herself to him only meant that he was not yet ready to forgive and trust her again. She had toyed with him too many times before, letting him know he was so close to having her, only to abandon him the next moment and go back to Boyfriend or to Impeccable Pedigree or to others he hadn't even heard her mentioning.

So many were often inclined to believe certain appearances were nothing but the honest truth simply because Regina herself had somehow managed to believe her morals were nothing but unquestionable. After all, nobody pretends that well. But how could it be said that a person is lying when they believe they are telling the truth, in spite of all the obvious contradictions raised by said truth? Regina always found she was outraged and morally offended when others were indulging in pleasures she was either being refused at the moment or she liked to deny having ever experienced.

Seeing Tease frolicking in the pool with Lady-Of-The-Night while everybody else was either condoning their behaviour or entirely ignoring the controversial couple, too involved in their own luscious drunken behaviour, was more than her delicate nature could take. Her ego was too deeply hurt in order not to let hypocrisy get the best of her and preach her outrage to anyone still sober or friendly enough to listen.

A few unattractive women tried to console her, agreeing with everything she had to say while sneaking secret peeks at some of the lonely men in the pool, wondering if they were drunk enough in order to see them in a more flattering light. A few men who had already had plenty to drink were willing to overlook anything else on account of her looks, trying to engage her in the kind of fun she was envisioning from the moment she had first heard about the famous company retreats.

Furious and offended, all Regina wanted was to jump in and drown the woman whose legs were now wrapped around the man who should have had her legs wrapped around him. Furious and offended, she wanted to punish them all. If that was how they were going to behave, if she couldn't have him tonight, then she didn't want any of them either. Besides, her somewhat coy attempts to seduce a few other men with relevant positions in the company had been abruptly dismissed, their attention focused on other women... inferior to her, of course...

Depriving everybody of her presence was the most fitting punishment. She wanted no part of this... this... oh, whatever it is somebody calls sour grapes in such a situation. Since nobody was looking, Regina could easily help herself to a bottle of tequila and head for the luxurious suit. It doesn't count as drinking if nobody sees you, thus keeping your reputation intact...

*

She could perceive the light in the room through her tightly closed eyelids. It must've been late in the morning, but she didn't want that night of passion to come to an end just yet. Touching the crisp pillow case, her hand was seeking the softness of silky hair. Slowly sliding up and down the white sheets, sleepy fingers were blindly looking for the warmth of that delicious flesh they could still remember from the night whose shadows were now long gone. Her eyes still closed, her body waking up with desire, she motioned towards the middle of the king-size bed. She rested her face on a pillow emanating the sweet perfume of its previous occupant, but her stretched arm couldn't find the lovely body it needed to wrap around. Wide open eyes are searching around the luxurious suit, but the attractive creature they long for is nowhere to be found.

Sitting naked, wide awake and alone among the crumpled sheets, she could feel her heart sink. She could hardly breathe, but she knew there was no need to look around. There was nobody to be found, she was all alone in that dreadful place. Dreams don't come true, do they? She thought they might, for an entire night she thought they might... because last night was the night she almost didn't dare to dream about. Every day after lunch she'd go to the office and they'd have coffee together. Whenever those moments became a time of intimate confession and profuse laughter, rising hope had to be squashed immediately. She knew there could never be anything more, so what was the point in hoping? Love from afar, that was all she could allow herself to do. Like all unrequited feelings, this would also die out eventually... she hoped. Yet it all changed last night... when everything became possible, when first their mouths, then their naked bodies finally found each other.

Tears had to be fought off while getting dressed in a hurry, even though she wasn't the crying type. But this was the first time she was so hopelessly in love.

There is no point in staying there, not by herself, so she walks out without looking back. Now she's the one to leave without looking back. Earlier that morning, Regina was the one to do the same, leaving her still asleep, dreaming of the two of them together.

*

What a surprising twist, what an unexpected manner in which the trip would become exactly what she needed! This time Regina can't sleep during the flight, she is still too excited and restless because of that sensual night. She is also too excited about getting back home and telling him all about it. She should tell him, shouldn't she? Hmmm...

Boyfriend was giving her another chance; in not so many words, he was actually apologizing for their latest breakup. It was him reaching out to her this time, missing her and wanting her back, so she felt generous. A compromise had been reached early in the morning; it only took a few texts to settle the details. She would come back from the trip as soon as possible, he would forget he ever left her – neither one of them could remember what caused their most recent separation anyway – and they would meet immediately. After all, there was an entire future to be planed!

Regina is smiling at the clouds outside the window, but she doesn't notice them. All she can see is the lust in all the men's eyes (all but one) when she was kissing that sweet girl. It started with a joke, she couldn't remember what the joke was... or maybe it was a dare... who cares anyway, she wanted to do it for so long and it dawned on her that such a thing was exactly what would re-establish her as the object of everyone's desire – everyone who mattered. So when she leaned in, when Sweet Girl's lips met her halfway, she knew everybody was watching. She was watching too, their reflection in the mirror was terribly alluring.

As expected, the moment the two of them left together, holding hands, did not go unnoticed. Experimenting with another girl is one of the trendiest things and Regina is nothing if not trendy. She'd been meaning to try it for a long time; she was just waiting for the right moment and the proper motivation.

There was nothing to complain about; in fact the entire night had been memorable. She knew Sweet Girl had a crush on her. The entire office knew it, since Sweet Girl was not shy about her feelings or her preferences. Regina had just proven herself she wasn't as attracted to women as she was to men; what really turned her on was the knowledge that her recent experience made her so much more desirable to the male population. Thus, to tell or not to tell Boyfriend? To tell, definitely to tell... From this to the much desired threesome was only one small step – one that would make her invaluable in his eyes, one that she could negotiate in her advantage in so many ways, so many times... with him and with any other man.

Complying with safety regulations, Regina switched her phone on airplane mode as soon as it was required. Had she not, a great number of emails and texts would have disturbed her pleasant flight home. Had she not, she would have had to deal with exaggerated anger and complaints from her co-workers, with whose passports and tickets she had left by mistake. Had she not, she would have had to acknowledge and accept the fact that what for her was nothing more than a fun, casual encounter, meant a lot more for Sweet Girl.

No matter. Impeccable Pedigree would fix it. In fact, he would feel quite guilty for not spending the weekend with her, for not being there to offer his support when she heard about her father's accident. Of course she had to rush home, the loving daughter that she was. Who could blame her for losing her head and forgetting such trivial matters when faced with such a sad situation? And indeed, they would eventually not blame her; on the contrary, she would have all their compassion. Except for one man's...

No matter. Sweet Girl would be as sweet, always there for her, stroking her ego, comforting her with loving words and tender gestures, hoping against all hope that they could have more than stolen kisses and occasional passionate caresses. She would forgive Regina for abandoning her; she was afraid and overwhelmed, that's why she ran. It was the intensity of her feelings that made her leave so abruptly, and Sweet Girl felt she was the only one who knew the truth. She would continue to defend Regina in front of everybody else, the same way she had done on that plane, on the way to the company retreat. After all, love makes people perceive the person dear to them in an idealised manner, and nobody knew this better or used it to their advantage more than Regina.

### Regina and the Nice Guy

It might be sad, but it's also true: a Nice Guy must happen to Regina... or at least one Nice Guy at a time, to be more accurate. It is, after all, an irresistible and unavoidable match. Nice Guy always shows a propensity for a beautiful woman who is bound to disconsider him. Regina has a deep need to once in a while prove the depth of her soul, devoid of any sense of materialism, her selfless character able and willing to unconditionally love and offer everything to a likeminded individual, one who would worship and treat her like the lady she knows she is.

It was a particularly beautiful summer when they met, one filled with sweet poetry of hope and unrequited dreams, when the remains of old loves become the seeds of new ones, and the magic of a sunset can make everything seem possible... even for a beautiful, intelligent and independent young woman like Regina to fall in love with a Nice Guy like him. Tall, with deep, dreaming eyes and a kind smile, elegant in his middle management suit, he couldn't resist consoling Regina right after she presented her resignation two days into the trial period for a new job. Who could have resisted those beautiful doe eyes of hers, mystified by tears of despair she was trying so hard to stop from rolling down her pale, silky cheeks?

The job was supposed to be a quick fix, something to stimulate her intellectually and take her mind off the Bad Boy who had torn her soul apart just a few days earlier. Alas, it was not for her. The exhausting hours, the work oriented, illiterate superiors indifferent to her plight immediately proved to have just the opposite effect. It didn't take long to understand that all she really needed was rest to recuperate after her heartbreak.

Nice Guy offered a soft, helping hand just when Regina needed such a selfless, caring man as the appropriate antidote to the witty, fun loving, successful Bad Boy who had told her from the very beginning that he didn't do relationships or exclusivity. She just couldn't understand what went wrong; she thought it was true love, a relationship close to concluding with a marriage proposal, she later that evening explained to Nice Guy over drinks, between sobs. His heart breaking when seeing the immense pain an uncaring man had caused this treasure of a woman to endure, Nice Guy was immediately smitten with the ingénue in distress.

True to form, Regina promptly fell in love – so she said – with her new leading man, not one week after proclaiming her undying affection for Bad Boy, who so carelessly and unjustly shattered her dreams of a happily ever after. Yes, Nice Guy is the way to go, the key to open the door to that much sought after realm of marriage. He is that reliable shoulder a real woman like her needs to cry on, he is the sweet puppy she thinks she wanted as a child, forgetting for a moment how much she really hates dogs and how these loving, loyal creatures cannot stand the sight of her either.

In his turn, Nice Guy finds it easy to completely dedicate his existence to this lovely, helpless, yet so enchanting new object of his affection, since that is his nature, after all. He seeks wounded souls, victims of circumstance, real or imaginary, so he can offer himself to them and then wonder why it is he unavoidably ends up as their doormat rather than their rescuer. Regardless, the fresh love story brings new hope for a happy ending and the two soul mates cannot be separated, spending every spare moment they have together.

So what if he doesn't make as much money as Regina initially thought and his life is by far less glamorous than Bad Boy's? Nice Guy has potential and he deserves a chance, especially when she knows her avarice can drive him to the top. So what if she isn't as educated as he initially thought, and instead she's a spoiled brat, a needy drama queen who likes to complain about anything and everything? Nobody is perfect, he is willing to overlook a few flaws and ignore her questionable character, as long as she does him the honour of choosing him. So what if they have nothing in common and each one of them basically despises what the other stands for? Young love has no eyes for such irrelevant details, leaving everything to passion.

Nevertheless, even young love relies on mobile phones, and those treacherous objects tend to interfere with the depth of such feelings at the most inopportune of times. The tragicomedy of modern relationships starts to unfold as soon as Bad Boy decides to recast Regina as one his ladies of for a night. Witness to the somewhat ambiguous infamous conversation, Nice Guy cannot believe the speed and efficiency of Regina's usually somewhat lazy gestures. Within minutes, all his things are neatly thrown into his backpack and while he is handed his belongings and dragged to the door, he is quickly explained how she needs to see her ex. She needs time to figure out her feelings and they need to figure out what went wrong between the two of them. Bad Boy is going to come by any moment now and she really wants a few minutes to make herself presentable for him. Get back together with Bad Boy? No, Regina doesn't know the answer to that yet, but she would certainly be available for whatever he might have in mind for her.

Still bewildered by this new turn of events in his love life – a bit of a déjà vu, if we're to be completely honest – Nice Guy almost bumps into the calm and collected individual waiting for the elevator. The stranger apologizes with a polite smile, then steps into the elevator Nice Guy has just stepped out of. But he cannot hate him, because in fact he doesn't look evil at all; he merely seems to possess the strength and confidence of a determined person, who knows himself well and who can properly evaluate those around him. Of course he won't hate Bad Boy – he secretly envies him. He won't hate Regina either; he will simply make himself available to her whenever the wounded bird feels she needs him... And she will need him again, that he knows for a fact. What he fails to remember from previous experience is that such a need only lasts for fleeting moments when it comes to fickle souls.

In a matter of minutes, Regina glues back together all her shattered dreams involving Bad. Nice Guy may be nice, but does that make him right as well? After all, he seems stuck in a dead-end job, he has no money and no ambition, he might very possibly be the most boring man alive and sex with him is... let's just say it, a yawn. Honestly, the dullest date or sexual endeavour with Bad Boy are far more interesting than the best moments with Nice Guy. Besides, how can she pursue her career as a victim next to him? Anyway, whenever things go wrong with any of those she considers real men, Regina can always go back to Nice Guy. He will always be there, waiting quietly for her return, hoping she would not leave yet again. What better match could there be?

*

In his elegant expensive Italian suit, the tall, athletic man is the epitome of calm and self-control, his blue eyes focused on the couple checking into the five star hotel. The woman adjusting the shoulder strap of her designer bag hasn't seen him yet, and Nice Guy is happy he can chase away that wave of emotion building inside him, that strange vulnerability he hasn't felt in years. But Regina's big, bored eyes wonder around the hotel lobby, looking for something entertaining to annihilate her ennui, so when he meets his gaze and inexpressive smile, surprise, hopes and memories jolt her back to a present full of unexpected possibilities. The man accompanying her doesn't notice the exchanged glances; but the truth is, he hardly ever notices anything besides his reflexion in the mirror.

"I believe you dropped this..."

Nice Guy hands her the delicate silk scarf she allowed to slide off her shoulders... Warm, soft fingers with carefully manicured nails have discretely hidden a business card into the folds of a silk scarf he just handed to a woman standing by the reception desk... Brown eyes and blue eyes sustain a brief, piercing, meaningful look – just for a second, but that second is enough to melt down walls of ice... Then he turns and disappears, wondering if his memory was by any chance playing tricks on him. Didn't she use to have blue eyes?

Regina feels her palms sweating as they clutch on the silk scarf wrapped around Nice Guy's business card. He was the same... no, he wasn't... from the tip of his manicured nails to the tip of his Italian leather shoes, he was a different man... he was a real man now! The one he used to be could have never put such a spell on her. She felt as though waves of electricity had started coursing through her veins the moment his hand touched hers. That card is holding the answer to that which all of the sudden has become her most ardent question. Who is he now? Struggling to keep calm and collected, she cannot wait for a moment alone to find out. Overwhelmed by her desires, instant hopes and sudden calculations, she fails to understand he cannot wait either. Nice Guy cannot wait for her to find out who he's become, for reasons of his own...

Sneaking around confers a thrill their passion had never been able to ignite in the past. All of the sudden, the now much more quiet, mysterious man has become an obsession, invading a girl's thoughts at the most surprising and inopportune of times. The mere memory of his touch on her skin is enough to trigger desire and lust. His presence by her side is now sought after and the possibility of a future together makes a girl like Regina mentally shop for wedding dresses, compile sitting charts and come up with the cutest baby names one might imagine.

In the throes of the latest romance, one so suddenly revived from the ashes of on old memory, anything else but focusing on their future becomes trivial and unnecessarily demanding. She wants to have more time with and for him, so moving in together becomes a possibility openly alluded to by the reformed seductress and subtly ignored by the new and improved Nice Guy. But the fact that he is now somewhat reticent to make plans, while he used to be the one to bring up their life together back in the day, enhances his appeal, thus making Nice Guy the most desirable catch. Between stolen moments and hidden affections, there hardly ever is enough time or the proper context to bring up her wanting to quit her job so she could entirely dedicate herself to their blissful couple life. Regina knows that, so she has ended everything with that other man, the one from the hotel. Now they don't need to hide anymore, she lovingly informs Nice Guy between lustful kisses.

He cannot keep going this way, he is not this person. But he is, he is in her eyes... and the man staring him from the mirror looks remarkably like the one he has met a lifetime ago in front of an elevator... Everything happened just as he knew it would, yet nothing felt the way he thought it should. Emotions, needs and insecurities he believed to have eradicated long ago were now resurfacing, taking hold of him, dragging his entire being towards a tempting abyss of happiness and self-loathing. It has to end. He knows it has to, simply because he doesn't want to let go of her anymore, no matter what that might cost him.

"I have to go. Work emergency."

A pouty, naked, more natural than ever Regina is trying to lure him back in bed, but his eyes purposely avoid hers while he makes room for the carefully prepared breakfast trey. A quick kiss on those pouty lips, an involuntary sniff, taking in the scent of her skin one last time and the door closes behind him, leaving the barely awake Regina to enjoy her morning coffee and the scrumptious breakfast all alone. No need to hurry, the room was hers 'till noon.

The man he sees in the elevator mirror is one he respects. In his slightly wrinkled shirt, sleeves rolled up, tie in his pocket, jacket carelessly hanging on his arm, that man looks confident, aloof and satisfied. His reflection is pleased with himself, but he – the real him, underneath it all – is sad, tired and almost heartbroken once more. There is no reasonable explanation; he simply has to admit that she still has a certain power over him, no matter how much he has evolved. But that power is no longer enough, because he can feel the thrill and satisfaction of revenge, not only the regret of a silent, definite 'Goodbye'.

The doorman smiles politely as the engine of the obscenely expensive, frightfully fast car growls and Nice Guy drives away. On his way home, he can stop by his friend's and drop off the car. He is doing well, but nowhere near that well... There are certain advantages to being the boss's closest friend. He's got a nice, expensive enough car of his own, but he didn't want her to know it; besides, she wouldn't have been as impressed... A true misogynist to the core, the car's real owner was convinced that no lie was ever too big in order to get into a woman's panties; and no means were to be spared in case she needed to be taught a lesson for toying with a man's feelings or hurting his oversized ego. Nice Guy finally revealing his petty vindictive side proved to be an unexpected bonding experience.

She'll be busy with her breakfast; she'll take advantage of the hotel's spa. By the time she thinks of him again, he'll be home, in Nice Girl's arms, trying to overcome his melancholy. Regina will want to call or text him, blaming his silence on a busy day at work. He likes to think he would enjoy the look of surprise – dare he say shock and despair? – when she notices all his contact details have disappeared from her phone and his business card vanished from her bag. In truth, such a reaction scares him, he would feel too ashamed in order to be able to enjoy it. Early in the morning he took care of all those details, but even as he was carefully deleting threads of texts and emails, pictures and everything else related to him from her phone, he had to fight a soupcon of shame. However, like this, from afar, he's able to be the villain she taught him to be and let the sweet satisfaction of revenge wash over him.

He has to keep a low profile for a while, he certainly doesn't want to run into Regina by mistake, especially after all the effort he put into not allowing her any way of finding him, but he isn't really worried. He knows there is no way for Nice Girl to discover his little secret... she never has before. But in case she does suspect something, he is convinced she would forgive him... the same way he used to forgive Regina each and every time...

### Regina Gets Engaged

It's always a special moment when a couple is reunited for the thousandth time after a thousand previous breakups, an instant cherished and gratefully remembered for the whole ten days that separate it from the subsequent parting of ways. But when the reconciliation is triggered by a loving Ex showing up with beautiful roses, knelling down in order to present the lady with an even more beautiful engagement ring, the moment becomes one both of them will remember for a lifetime – for better or for worse. The brighter the ring sparkles, the easier it is to forget past mistakes, unuttered regrets, unconfessed hatred and ignored resolutions.

Like any other long-term couple, they had discussed marriage. The fact that they had spent more time apart than together, bickering and disparaging each other was generally an irrelevant matter to both of them. They'd swear to never reconcile again, professing their mutual loathing and would occasionally yell out their indifference in hurtful, offending words. But everything would be forgiven and forgotten in a few weeks, when they'd be back together again. Behaving as though nothing had happened came naturally to both of them.

Boredom and their exploits during their time apart had always been inexhaustible sources of future arguments, yet those first days after starting fresh were nothing but bliss and surreal happiness. Planning their bright, perfect future together was a big part of that shared happiness and marriage was always described as the beginning of that undisturbed, flawless part of their lives. But after their most recent breakup Regina was fairly sure those plans would never see the harsh light of day – even she considered her behaviour to be unforgivable... although it was entirely justified, of course. Yet, by some miracle, not only had Ex no idea about what had been going on, but he also was determined to make good on all his past promises, much to Regina's delight.

*

Regina loves weddings, and she hopes to have at least one of her own someday. Regina also hates weddings, because that day hasn't arrived yet and she finds it unbearable to see all those women around her getting married to amazing men, having their big, ostentatious parties, becoming happy mothers not long after the blissful event, and securing their future and a nice, cosy, respectable place in society. Not having ever questioned her real reasons for wanting to get married (not that she would be able to acknowledge what they were), she feels the spark of undying love rekindled by the shiny, gorgeous rock resting comfortably on the velvet cushion in the open box presented to her by a remorseful, kneeling Ex. All of the sudden, with that one short question accompanied by the sparkling token of affection, life gained meaning and purpose, and Regina started floating on a sea of hopes and dreams.

A fresh breeze of confidence carries her dreams and hopes even further, as Regina receives the most pleasing news from the jeweller's appraising her ring first thing the following morning – for insurance purposes only, of course, material matters are inconsequential... But who could ever suspect her of anything remotely resembling greed? She even manages to make it back home before sweet dear Future Husband gets a chance to arrive – he insisted on taking that beautiful token of affection and have it resized for her delicate finger. It's his mistake, after all... so why should she waste any time and effort because of his carelessness? He is such a romantic, she tells herself and to all those crossing her path. As soon as the jeweller provides her with the pleasing information, Regina can finally give in to her engagement bliss and share the happy news with anybody willing to listen. Good thing she managed to take plenty of pictures, this way everybody can appreciate how much he loves her even before the beautiful rock is back on her finger.

Wedding plans can be a trial for many couples, but a girl like Regina knows how to navigate all the obstacles, because she is above it all, still in that sweet lull of the nearly fulfilled destiny. She knows how disturbing such situations can be for Future Husband, so she does her best to protect her man from struggling with too many decisions regarding the impending event celebrating her victory, the end of her tormenting life as a single woman.

When you've spent the better part of your life dreaming of perfect weddings, yet you've never been more than a guest putting on a brave face and reluctantly witnessing other women's happiness, you already know what you want. No detail is too small for Regina to have already thought of during those painfully lonely hours when somebody else was the centre of attention, so now she knows exactly how and what she needs to do in order for her happy event to upstage all the ones she'd envied in the past.

It had been beyond her power of comprehension why everybody was gushing over ugly brides in tacky dresses when she was there too, clearly looking so much better and more sophisticated than those women. For some unknown reason, they managed to snag decent husbands, while she was still single. The world is such an unfair place, after all... But it's her turn now, she will be the envy of every female acquaintance she has; and all the men will wish they had the common sense to have pursued her, rather than those wishy-washy creatures they call "wives".

Just thinking of trying on weeding gowns makes her giddy with excitement, her heart beating faster, her cheeks blushing with anticipation. She already knows what she's going to choose, what her heart is set on, but what's the point in getting married if you're not going to make the best of all the fun that comes with these preparations, and bask in your friends' jealousy? Torturing these women with her remarkable beauty, reducing their self-esteem to nothing and having them take care of the more exhausting parts of planning a wedding is something Regina has been dreaming of for years... And now the time has come for her to live her fairy tale. Hope becomes an almost palpable presence, her nights and waking moments are invaded by alluring visions of her life as a stay at home wife and mother, benefiting from the help of a housekeeper and a fulltime nanny, while her husband is working and she is exhausting herself shopping and travelling.

Yes, that is the endpoint and she will not lose sight of it; after all, she already knows even how she's going to redecorate Future Husband's beautiful house. Regina will do everything and anything necessary for the accomplishment of this vision of marital bliss. Isn't marriage all about compromise? Well, at least until both parties sign the marriage license... She is, after all, one to think about her man's needs first. She will still smile while reluctantly agreeing to the number of guests he wants. She will wear the dress he chose for her, even if she would have preferred another; and if he wants to wear that hideous suit... well, what can a woman do but love him with all his flaws?

Her selflessness reaches a new, yet undiscovered peak the moment the deposit for the wedding venue needs to be paid – Regina doesn't even flinch when she has to pry open the tight rusty strings of her purse and use her credit card, because Future Husband has to face the embarrassment of having forgotten his wallet at home. But in her pre-bridal happy mist, she doesn't even think twice about this or any other questionable situations. This is no more than an investment in her future, one which will shortly be recovered anyway.

But even the embodiment of selflessness herself is allowed a moment of anger when Future Husband doesn't show up for their appointment to choose the invitations, followed by the cake tasting; and for some reason, he doesn't even answer his phone. Regina's worried soul finally finds solace when she discovers him alive and well at home. However, the drama is only about to unfold, when Future Husband to be Future Ex informs her between pangs of rude laughter and harsh remarks that he can no longer continue the charade. It has been so much fun and he has enjoyed it so very deeply, but not even he can keep it up until the wedding day.

No, no, no, no need for confusion and tears. _What, did you think it was a real proposal?_ Revenge is the word Regina is about to fully understand, as twisted Future Ex finally confesses to have found out about her fling with his best friend... and about the one with his brother... _you know, from back then when we were together and I loved you,_ he adds with a stabbing voice... Now it's her turn to pay for it, he choreographed her humiliation so carefully from the very moment he learnt the truth. And the ring? Oh, the ring... why does she think he asked her to give it back to him, to supposedly have it resized and engraved? It was simply taken on loan from a friend who's a jeweller, of course...

Rushed explanations and excuses – she didn't know what she was doing, she was going through a tough time, they had taken advantage of her naïve nature – followed by harsh accusations and wicked words – after all, he slept around too, he treated her so badly and he had no idea how lucky he was to have a woman like her in his life – fall on deaf ears. Nothing can make him change his mind or at least stop laughing. Grovelling and threats alike yield no result.

The quicksand of despair gets a hold of her, the more she fights it, the more she feels about to suffocate. What will everybody say? How will she break the news to her family... to her friends... to all those people whose envy she was feeding on until a few minutes ago? Perhaps it's the fact that she's been on a strict diet since they got engaged, perhaps it's the shock of this terrifying revelation, perhaps it's a whirlwind of images capturing an engagement ring she's never going to see again, she can't tell... all she knows is that a wave of nausea overwhelms her. Will she faint? What difference does it make now, if he's no longer there to catch her in those strong arms of his? All on her own, Regina makes her way to the nearest chair. With nobody around to witness her dramatically collapse with grief and disappointment, she simply sits down, silent tears drenching her pale cheeks.

As the one she called "love of her life" shatters her hopes for marital bliss, Regina is torn between regrets for having spent her own money, regrets for having to continue working, regrets for not becoming the respectable married lady she so yearns to be, regrets for not even being able to portray herself as the heart-broken victim this time, because that would actually entail telling the world why the engagement was just a hoax.

_Oh well... maybe next time, maybe the next one,_ Regina sighs...

### Driving Regina

The sound of screeching breaks, crumpling metal and broken glass didn't wake anybody at that late hour of the night. People tend to respect each other's anonymity in big towns, especially when intrusions in somebody else's personal space and drama come at the cost of a good night's sleep. Only one person's thoughts and reveries were rudely interrupted by the unexpected obstacle. Suddenly, she had to return to the dreary reality of the night as her seatbelt violently cut off her air supply for a second, helping her resist inertia while her car became one with the other vehicle.

_Damn it, it's all his fault..._ But the person Regina had in mind in her state of shock was not the driver of that other car. _Now I won't get to see him again, not this night... Or will I?_ An idea occurred to the woman as her trembling fingers were fishing for her work phone in the bag on the passenger seat. _Involved in an accident on my way to your place. Need you. Pls._ This should get him to come over and see her...

"You ok, Miss? Hey lady, is everything ok in there? Say something!"

That worried stranger with his quivering voice, knocking at her window like a maniac... that's the driver of the other car, he's out and looking unharmed, worrying about her state... and she suddenly perceives the magnitude of the situation... the red light she ran... that heap of metal that used to be a car before she drove right into it... A few deep breaths and Regina collects herself, promptly assessing the situation, in spite of the panic making her heart race wildly and her limbs tremble uncontrollably.

It doesn't look like there was anybody else in that car, just the driver... and he seems fine, just terrified, the same way she feels right now. But he's a man... _I can work with that. I can get out of this and keep my driver's license. And the insurance will pay for that piece of junk of his..._ Regina's big, innocent eyes fill with tears and the shawl on her shoulders opens up, revealing her beautiful cleavage while she finally decides to emerge from the shelter of her somewhat damaged vehicle.

The man sighs with almost palpable relief seeing her coming out of the car, pale and shaking, tears running down her cheeks, but appearing to be fine in spite of the shock. Yes, that cute dumb thing drove right into him, completely oblivious of the traffic lights and anybody else who may have been on the road, confirming the nastiest of comments regarding female drivers, comments he used to disagree with. But that doesn't mean he wanted her dead or injured.

She's fine, thank god for that, she's in shock, but she's fine. And as his fear is starting to subside, the image of the gorgeous damsel in distress in front of him starts to sink into his male brain before anger can take over his senses. She's in shock, poor thing, she can barely stand on those long, beautiful legs, and she's leaning against the car while she keeps apologizing, asking him if he's all right and also babbling something about some emergency, somewhere she needed to be urgently, that's why she left the house in a rush, looking that way, barely dressed... She needs some water – _sure, sure, take your time and try to calm down_ – and while she is reaching for that bottle in the car, the little summer dress she's wearing so casually reveals the upper part of her thigh.

Little does he know that Regina has such emergencies at least once a week, but this happened to be the first time fate was unkind to her and didn't keep her safe. Nevertheless, her legendary luck prevails once more, as the man whose car will most likely never drive again is a nice, kind person and so sensitive to her personal charms and general helplessness. Look at her, how can one feel anything but a deep need to rescue this defenceless creature, who was indeed so very careless, but who is now so remorseful and distressed by the situation she has caused? Her trembling hand can barely hold that bottle of water and as she takes a small sip, the remaining liquid spills all over her dress, the delicate damp cloth immediately sticking to that remarkable, braless chest...

His eyes linger on that image perhaps longer than the eyes of a car crash victim should, but he is after all just a man – a gentleman, who doesn't forget his manners, and when the delicate flower apologizes for her clumsiness and starts shaking because of the cold, the fear and the damp dress, he immediately offers her his jacket. After all, a car is just a car, these things happen and what matters is that nobody was injured. His words are so soothing to the woman who now knows she no longer has anything to worry about...

By the time Boyfriend arrives at the scene of the accident, Regina has sorted out everything and a story is already decided upon, allowing her to get away with her mistake and the other guy to have his car taken care of, one way or another. Boyfriend isn't quite sure how she managed it and the other man doesn't seem too clear on what has just happened to him either, why he feels such a profound need to protect this careless woman, this beautiful, reckless creature, but this is not the time for questions. This is reason for another fight, another night, in spite of that sharp sensation of jealousy he feels when he sees that stranger treating her with such care and consideration.

Taking a quick look at the two cars and at the two shaken drivers, Boyfriend cannot help but feel somewhat responsible... she will certainly blame him. He was the one who left after their fight; he was the one who took her phone, because he wanted to read all her emails and messages, suspecting that there might be more to be discovered about her so-called friendships with other men; and he wanted her to come running, asking him to go back to her. That was their game, they had played it so often! He just hadn't expected her to be so careless and stupid. Look at her, she left wearing that house dress and flip-flops, speeding down the road to get to his place as fast as possible... His heart filling with pride when understanding how desperate she was to see him again, Boyfriend feels he can be generous and overlook the fact that she dares wear another man's jacket. He also overlooks the fact that Regina might have been in such a hurry to see him in order to prevent certain revelations with which her phone may have provided him...

Aftermath of a romantic drama:

\- Cars involved in accident: 2

\- Cars damaged beyond repair: 1

\- Guilty parties: 1

\- Parties able and willing to accept and admit aforementioned guilt: 0

\- Parties hopelessly smitten within moments after accident: 1

\- Temporary breakups: 1

\- Temporarily broken hearts: 3

\- Friends in desperate need of a strong drink after endeavouring to be helpful: 1

*

"I should really get you a bumper sticker that says, _I drive a company car and I'm not afraid to wreck it..._ "

The chastising look reducing you to silence is a clear sign that your sense of humour isn't appreciated by Regina, who is still smarting both after her driving faux pas and the most recent breakup with Boyfriend. How did you get in the middle of this, you ask yourself in a matter of moments? You're just a good friend who never learns and you always try to help Regina when she finds herself in crisis. Not thinking twice – what decent friend would? – you agree to go and pick her up after she took her own slightly damaged vehicle to be repaired. Luck prevails, as usual, you ponder for a moment, reminding yourself that the other guy's car has been written off, while Regina's is still in good shape, given the circumstances.

"Serves him right for driving that damn piece of junk older than my grandmother! If that poor idiot had the common sense to wait until he could afford a decent car, then he wouldn't have been on the road that night and none of this would have happened!"

As always, her rationalization has nothing to do with the facts, but is good for a laugh. Regina is nothing if not a survivor, she takes no prisoners, and gratitude, modesty or the slightest sense of reality have nothing to do with her perception of life. Such people and their innate ability to constantly deny reality while building their own parallel universe (of which they are inexorably the centre) are amazing when analysed from afar. But there's more to her than that... or so you have talked yourself into believing, in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

"Hadn't it been for the accident, I would've gotten to Boyfriend's in time, he wouldn't have had the chance to figure out my password and read those emails, and everything would've been fine now, we wouldn't have broken up! And all because that idiot had to drive his heap of rusty metal that he calls a car!"

A deep breath and the rant continues – she had been so desperate for a shoulder to cry on and a friendly ear into which to pour all her grief.

"And of course I had to flirt with that idiot so I could get away with the whole thing, and it didn't help that Boyfriend witnessed some of it; that only made him madder." The most innocent giggle accompanied the bitter words. "You should've seen him, what a laugh... I have no idea how I managed to keep a straight face, he was so funny trying to be pleasant and helpful, all worried and love-struck puppy! I bet he's still waiting for me to call him – I told him I needed some time to recover from the accident and to get over my breakup before we can start anything. It's a shame we had to meet under such circumstances, I told him, and he actually believed me!"

Regina can multitask, you soon get the chance to remember, and she has no problem relating her troubles and being a nuisance at the same time; basically she is as bad a passenger as she is a driver. It is your own fault really, you were instinctively polite and of course you said you had no problem with her adjusting the air-conditioning. But to be fair, who would have imagined she would switch it off altogether, given the 35o C outside? Since the delicate flower is certain she would catch a cold because of the dreadful device, you sigh and try to mind her needs. But as your once comfortable car is rapidly transforming into an unbearable sauna, the heat and the excessively sweet perfume Regina is wearing in abundance are overwhelming, you feel you're about to experience what it would be like to faint while driving. So with the risk of offending your very sensitive passenger, you push the button, and as the window opens you breathe the boiling outside air as though it was the freshest breeze your lungs had ever inhaled.

"Fine, if you must... You can keep the window slightly open, as long as the draft doesn't reach me," Regina rolls her eyes at you.

But you're too busy not fainting and driving, so you just ignore her, which isn't difficult anymore, since she switched the radio station to the most annoying one she could find, turning up the volume and now she is singing along loudly and off-key.

Oh well, at least you can breathe again... Fine, you can breathe again, but why the hell won't the car move anymore? The light is green, everybody is moving along, except for you. All of the sudden, you appear to be that person who's fallen asleep waiting for the traffic light to change, annoying everybody else. It feels as though the handbrake is on and sure enough, you quickly discover that's why your car won't listen to you. But how can that be? Unless...

"Did you do that?" The tone of your voice becomes angry and you give your mischievous friend a quick piercing, yet puzzled look. But as it turns out, she's the one entitled to be offended.

"Of course! It looked like you needed the help... I mean, you were ignoring everything, your head out the window all the time... someone had to make sure we were safe!"

"I was breathing! And don't you worry, we are safe, I'm not speeding to my boyfriend's so I can steal back my own phone!"

"This is the kind of gratitude I get for being nice!?"

Her pout is not at all a joke, she actually believes what she's saying and you cannot help wondering how big a toll it would take on your friendship if you kicked her out of the car after generously offering her money for the taxi ride home. It doesn't take long to start feeling guilty for having had such unworthy thoughts, as Regina does possess the undeniable gift of crawling under people's skin. The volume of the radio is within acceptable limits again, she's quit pouting and she now continues telling you all about the most recent breakup tragicomedy, as any normal friend would (occasionally even letting you utter a few words on the topic, she clearly needs your advice). She hasn't even mentioned the slightly opened window – not that there would be any breeze to complain about, the temperature in the car is probably high enough to boil eggs... or at least that's how it feels to you at this point. But all in all, Regina is behaving and there's hope for both getting home safely and keeping your friendship intact.

You should know better than that by now... The giant pressure pot that your car is now has just started moving after you let a few pedestrians cross. You suddenly feel you lost control as the vehicle is swerving sharply to the right the very same moment you notice a third nicely manicured hand on the steering wheel, pulling abruptly in that direction. A sigh of relief and an apologetic hand wave to the other drivers follow your gratitude for the highly functional brakes and for the low speed, the car stopping just as the tire has touched the pavement.

"What the hell, you crazy bitch?"

There's no containing your anger or filtering your words anymore; cold sweat is drenching your summer clothes and your heart is pounding, but not because of the heat. It's hard to put together words to express that sort of indignation dripping with fear and relief at the same time.

"I thought I saw a cat and I didn't want you to run it over," Regina mumbles in her sweet, subdued, I-know-I've-done-something-wrong-but-it's-not-my-fault voice.

"There is no fucking cat, you lunatic!" Words are still not able to convey how you feel, stressing every meaningless syllable is the best you can do at the moment.

"I know that now... it was just a shadow, I guess."

You guess? You guess? But you stifle all the invectives that bubble in your head, giving your "friend" a murderous, don't-you-dare-speak-now look.

"Keep your damn hands to yourself," is all you manage to mutter through your teeth while closing the window and switching on the air-conditioning.

Regina's perfectly contoured lips part and then close again. For once, she has decided to think before speaking. Five minutes later you finally reach your destination. You and everybody else on the streets are finally safe, as Regina is neither a driver, nor a passenger... for the time being. Perhaps it's you who's exaggerating the importance of certain things. After all, the rest of the drive to her place was uneventful... if you don't count being stopped and fined by the police, because she simply refused to inconvenience herself by wearing the seatbelt. Of course she'll pay the fine, she mentioned in a very offended tone. But whether you like to admit it or not, experience has already taught you otherwise...

"Will you take me there when I need to get my car back?"

"We'll see..."

But whatever is left of your survival instinct has already made the decision. You'll be terribly busy that day, whatever day it may be.

### Regina and the Engagement Rings

The key didn't turn and she opened the unlocked door without giving it any thought. She often forgot to lock it, so... Clickety-clack, clickety-clack on the hardwood floor and then the high heels flew in a corner, preceded only by the laptop case, which landed with a thud. Oh well, it's just the work computer – anyway, what are they going to do if it breaks, give her a newer and better one?... Her personal mobile phone was another matter altogether, that one found a nice, cosy resting place when carefully placed on the hall table. Curling and stretching her toes happy to have escaped the restrictive pumps, her feet started blindly feeling around the cold floor, reaching for the comfort of those favourite slippers.

They weren't there. That spot on the floor, where she distinctly remembered leaving them in the morning before going to work, was empty and the pink fuzzy slippers were nowhere to be seen. The inquisitive eyes only now started to notice small changes, certain things out of place... or rather in all the right places, where they belonged. The stack of unopened bills was neatly arranged on the table. The couple of jackets and the few bags she had to choose from that morning were no longer in a pile on the chair, but carefully arranged on the coat rack. A sneaky suspicion made her smile – yes, the shoe rack now housed the pink slippers and the other pair of pumps she had left lying around in the middle of the floor. But it can't be... can it?

Unaware of the dumb grin on her face, Regina tried to temper her excitement and take a quick, yet dignified look around the house. She didn't know how he had done it, but he was there, waiting for her... he had to be... the neatness, all the rearranged things around the house... he was the only one who could have done all that. But as she dragged her tired feet back to the shoe rack, shoulders slacking, lips tightly pressed in a pout, the outraged look on her face was real. The spare keys, the ones that he had returned after their most recent parting of ways, were still in their place, untouched; but he clearly found a way to get into her apartment, he must have had copies made or she might have left the door open... but who cares, he wasn't there anymore. He hadn't come back, at least not to stay... just to tidy up the place.

Or had he?... Putting on the pink slippers, the right foot's tired toes came across something not so comfortable. An exhausted Regina took out the note, but not only did the words wake her up, they made her forget to breathe while pondering on the possible meaning. One woman's break-in, another woman's grand romantic gesture...

She hurried to her bedroom, the words on the note burning in her mind... _Love those new lacy undies. Who's enjoying them?_ But her underwear drawer seemed undisturbed – that is, until Regina turned everything upside down, hoping to find some clue as to Boyfriend's... ex-Boyfriend's intentions. Just as she was about to collapse on her bed, giving a desperate sigh, everything fell into place, she finally connected the dots of his twisted ways and jumped to yank open another drawer. It takes one to know one, and as the expert she was in obsessively going through other people's things, Regina didn't need long to figure out his train of thoughts and the strategy he had employed when thoroughly and neatly ransacking her place.

Her heart was throbbing faster and faster. Could it have been with admiration for that man some would call disturbed, who had put such passion in finding out what she had been up to of late? Or was it just fear that he might have discovered everything, thus making it impossible for her to pose as the innocent, shy, heartbroken victim next time they inevitably got back together?...

Her heart sank. Yes, he had figured her out as well, and he wanted her to know he knew. But it was worse than expected. The open drawer was telling a discouraging story – in one corner lay an empty box of condoms, a box which she knew he knew was not empty just two days before, when they had yet again broken up. She was destroyed by their latest "definite" breakup, she was clearly not in her right mind. In fact, she was in such a bad way, that there was nothing else left for her to do but find solace in somebody else's arms that very evening. And all because of him, it was all Boyfriend's fault; and maybe that other guy's too, how could he text her minutes after Boyfriend had packed all his things and stormed out of her apartment, throwing the keys at her? But Regina suspected he wouldn't be able to see and admit to his own fault, especially in light of the revelation triggered by that other box he placed in the drawer.

His intentions were now clear and holding the open box containing what couldn't have been anything else but an engagement ring, Regina was jumping up and down squealing, giggling, talking to herself like a mad woman, tears of emotion and relief filling her big, beautiful eyes. It would take some effort, Regina knew that. It was the time for eyelash batting, remorseful apologies, grovelling and humility, pouty lips and baby talk, promises of favours galore and endless flattery of the male ego. But he and she would take each other back, warts and all, the same way they had done before. Only everything was going to be better this time.

She could finally see that finish line, the wedding society, her family and herself had been waiting for and demanding. Once that's taken care of, she can finally call herself a successful woman, her purity and reputation restored even in the most judgemental of eyes, once again allowed to do whatever she pleased with anyone she chose, under the protective guise of matrimony.

Once the first euphoric wave of frenzy evaporated, Regina could eventually sit down and take in the latest development in her ever so sophisticated, intriguing existence. Boyfriend managed to get the size right, but even if she was familiar with the jewellery store it came from (after all, she had dragged him in there so many times, dropping not at all subtle hints), Regina had never noticed the ring in their display. Not bad, but definitely not part of their most impressive selection. Probably one month's income, maybe a little bit more, her expert eye decided; definitely not even two months'... Trying it on time and time again, watching her hand from all angles, she had to admit that it could be worn in public without fear of shame and humiliation... at least for a short while, until under some pretext or another, she would get him to exchange it for an appropriately flashy engagement ring.

She liked it enough, she decided. And she was as good as engaged. Another container covered in velvet made its appearance from the depths of a large box filled with cheap, shiny, fashionable jewellery. Smaller and more modest looking, set carefully on the bed next to the other one, it shed a brighter, more optimistic light on Boyfriend's choice... on her choice.

With a gentle, elegant movement, the young woman extracted what had once been another engagement ring from the older box and placed it on her finger, on the other hand. Then and now... that one and this one... and as past and present merged in one emotional instant, the big blue eyes filled with tears again... tears of regret... tears of frustration... Alone in her room, in one of the happiest moments of her life, Regina couldn't fight the tears and for one ephemeral moment she couldn't fight the truth either.

She had made mistakes. Those were the cold, cruel facts. She had made the wrong choice, she had to admit to herself, looking at the old, disappointingly cheap engagement ring. They were both too young, both of them beautiful, innocent and broke. She was all he wanted and spending their lives together would have been a dream come true, he told her, his voice quivering with emotion and love. But she could still remember the way her own soul quivered with shame the following day, when she took the ring to have it appraised – the gold was cheap and the diamond was so small and its quality so poor, that the strange lady couldn't help a pitying smile when telling her. So she had made up her mind. She deserved and wanted more and better, the life that none of his promises could make Regina believe he would ever be able to offer her.

What brought tears to her eyes now was the mere thought of the possible future that had been taken away from her when she refused to marry what appeared to be a young man with no perspectives. He had become wildly successful in such a short period of time and now some other woman was enjoying the carefree life that should have been hers. And all because he hadn't been able to choose a decent ring when proposing to her in the first place, so she had to say _no_ to him... That ill inspired gesture of his, the one that further deprived her so unfairly of countless benefits a life with him would have offered her, still stung her sensitive heart whenever she thought of it. Of course she had tried to get back in his good graces, but it was better to leave the past in the past, she was told; he had suffered too much because of that misguided image of her and now that he had somebody able to appreciate him, he had no intention of going through that again. He had seen behind those innocent eyes and he knew better now. But Regina couldn't understand such nonsense. After all, she would have also appreciated all he had to offer, and there was no way the new girl, whoever she might have been, was prettier than her. For a while, she had hoped he'd come back to her, he'd apologize for those thoughtless words and she'd live the life she deserved happily ever after by his side. But he never came back.

Tears are no good if there is nobody to see them, console the crying victim, feel sorry for her or guilty – as the case may be – and offer some sort of compensation or advantage for them, so Regina quickly dried her eyes. She wouldn't make the wrong decision again. Boyfriend wasn't perfect. She still believed she deserved more, but she had to swallow her pride and accept that he would never be as successful as the man who once proposed to her when they were both too young and innocent.

Several years had passed since then and Regina had the feeling people were unfairly judging her and spreading rumours. Their petty jealousy was eating at her reputation. Women so much duller and dumber, whose beauty paled in comparison to hers, were getting married left and right, and securing a husband (of her own, that is) was the one thing on Regina's mind. Boyfriend was a perfectly acceptable choice, both socially and financially. Sure, he was paranoid, selfish, jealous, controlling and downright a cruel egomaniac at times, but she was confident she could find ways around it and have her own fun whenever she wanted, the way she had done so many times before. Besides... if somebody better happened to come along, there was always divorce.

Exhausted from a day of doing nothing at work, followed by the unexpected events of the afternoon, Regina felt the need to rest her weary head for a moment, falling into a deep sleep, the engagement rings on her fingers carrying her away on a lulling, reassuring pink cloud of marital bliss. She would later regret having fallen asleep like that, in her cute, expensive work outfit. The blouse would get all crumpled and – damn it – she wouldn't be able to wear it again before washing it.

*

"Did you see that ring on her finger?"

The manicurist continued her work and her monologue while the woman whose nails she was tending to smiled and nodded unengagingly.

"I can't believe she's engaged... She is, isn't she?"

Another polite smile and that's all the approval the manicurist needed in order to go on with what she thought to be the latest piece of juicy gossip.

"And the size of that diamond... good thing I had my glasses on, so I could see it. Awful, just awful... such an ugly ring. I'm so sorry for her..."

The girl gave an unconvincing sigh, trying not to smile, while a look of unadulterated pleasure at Regina's potential demise was spreading all over her face. She had done Regina's nails just the day before and was told all about the romantic reconciliation culminating with their engagement, but she clearly had trouble believing it.

"I would've expected her to marry some filthy rich jerk... or at least one who could afford a decent engagement ring. Am I right? With her resources... Look, even I did better!" She giggled proudly, waving her left hand. "What do you think, is she really going through with it?"

"If they're happy, I'm happy."

The woman smiled once more, hoping to put an end to the matter. So people were talking. But her last smile was hiding something else, something more than just the answers to the girl's questions. No, they weren't going through with it. In fact, they had broken up yet again, but Regina hadn't accepted it yet; or maybe she hadn't come up with the right way to tell people, so once more she kept lying to everybody and to herself. It must be grief, disappointment, regret – as a friend, she has to believe that. But also as a friend she had warned Regina about announcing her engagement before anything was decide upon, although her words had been ignored.

_I need to choose my friends more carefully,_ she sighs as she is once again dragged into another convoluted, obscure Regina drama, one she would rather not be associated with this time. But the irony of the situation cannot go unnoticed, as she knows the rock the chubby manicurist is naively waving around is nothing but a sparkling piece of crystal. How does she know it? Well, simply because the handsome giver of said engagement ring had recently confessed it to Regina in a very delicate, private, extramarital encounter. That cannot end well either...

### For Better...

Long, sharp, colourfully painted nails run up and down the keyboard, clicking away furiously. Greedy eyes peak through long, black fake lashes, not missing one image or flicker as they jump from page to page. _Buy, Send, Add to Cart, Upload, Download, Add to Wishlist_ and a variety of card details struggle to conquer the vast world of the internet, online shopping and social media alike.

The frantic scrolling stops abruptly as the busy fingers' and blue eyes' attention is now required by the buzzing phone. A large smile lights up Regina's face, a languorous sigh accompanying her reply. She had spent the entire morning trying not to think that the text might never arrive and now her patience was finally being rewarded.

The picture on the desk caught her eye in spite of all her rushed gestures. It had been such a wonderful day! Everything she had ever dreamt of, really... look how beautiful she was, she had the most expensive dress and most extravagant wedding anyone in her group of friends and acquaintances had ever seen... and on top of everything, the man she was marrying was so wealthy and handsome... A real prince had come to finally rescue her from an average existence and she would not let this one get away. As it turned out, he had no intention of getting away, since in spite of everyone's warnings, he knew better – he had found his soul mate.

Shaking her head swiftly, she chases away unwanted memories while unzipping her dress. She thought she liked it when she chose it earlier, but now she needs something else to go with her mood. A white silk blouse and a tight, modern pair of jeans find their way out of the impressive walk-in wardrobe, but as usual the woman pauses in front of the large three way mirror before putting them on. Wearing nothing but sexy underwear and high heels, she looks scrumptious, she decides. She feared not being able to look the way she did before her pregnancy, but she found there were procedures that could make her body even more appealing. After taking full advantage of a renowned plastic surgeon's skills and discretion, she could now feel confident she looked at least ten years younger. Yet nothing could prevent her eyesight from deteriorating, so she had to sit at her makeup table and take a close, scrutinizing look in the magnifying mirror. She could notice those fine lines finding their way back around the eyes. Did her lips look less plump than usual? Surely she was imagining it... But she'd have to make an appointment, just in case...

Once more she shakes her head. She needs to hurry, so she puts on the pair of jeans, the blouse and the same pair of stiletto pumps she had on initially. Sunglasses, phone, bag... she's ready to go.

"Mommy, mommy, are you home? Mommy, I wanna tell you what happened in school today! Mommy..."

The voice coming from downstairs caught Regina by surprise. Was it that late already?... Busy trying to quietly make her way out of the house without running into her son, she doesn't notice anything or anyone else.

"Ms... If you have a moment..."

Damn nanny! She always manages to sneak up on you when you least expect it...

"Can't you see I'm in a hurry? I don't have time for your problems, I'm too busy for that today. Now go tend to him, see what he wants. And tell him I'm out, but I'll do my best to get home before his bedtime."

"But... Ms..."

"Go do what I told you, what are you waiting for? I don't have any time for this, I told you. Some of us have to work." She rolled her eyes, pushing the nanny out of her way before she could utter another word. "These people... I swear, one of these days..." and she continued muttering to herself all the way to the car.

Heading the other way, ready to greet the little boy, the nanny rolled her eyes too. That woman... if it weren't for that adorable, innocent child... but one of these days... She often fantasized about the moment she would finally quit her job and instead of calling her _Ms,_ she would call her employer _Mrs King_ to her face. She had to be called _Ms,_ that was one of the main rules and anyone failing to respect it found themselves fired immediately. She thought that being called _Mrs_ made her feel unfairly old... But the nanny knew she adored to be referred to as _Mrs King_ in society, thus staking her claim to a man and a name that triggered both respect and fear.

*

"I needed this so much... you have no idea how I missed you, Lover..." the woman purred into the young man's ear.

Regina wasn't lying; his absence had occupied most of her thoughts. Her recreational drug, as she liked to call him, was losing his interest, she could feel it. There was no incontestable proof of it, but a woman knows such things... he seemed somewhat aloof, guarded and atypically quiet during the last couple of weeks. Letting him hold her silently while he was waiting for the rest of the story about her day, the woman started scrutinizing his features with a knowing eye. There was more than satisfaction altering that kind smile. It wasn't the look of a man who had just made a conquest and satisfied his sexual urges; that spark in his eyes belonged to a man who still cared deeply about the woman he had just enjoyed, the same woman tracing little hearts with her long nails all over his toned chest and abdomen... the same woman he was holding so tightly, having felt her absence during the previous days...

Yet there was a shadow, a sadness he was trying to hide, but the possessive Regina noticed it immediately. Initially she told herself she was paranoid, she dismissed the thought as any other one she didn't like to be true. But she had to admit that they were spending less and less time together, and she hadn't been the one to cancel their dates. While she had always done her best to hide their relationship, he often pulled crazy stunts, almost getting them caught, only because he loved to show her off and be seen as _the_ man in her life. But now he was the one to change the hotel to an equally nice one, yet in a part of town guaranteeing a very low probability of running into anyone they knew.

She looked at him again. The lights were on, he got there before her, so she didn't have the chance to dim them, the way she normally would, to present a more flattering side of her. But the situation didn't serve him well either. Sure, his Adonis-like body was perfect, but time was indubitably carving delicate, yet perceptible lines on his tanned face. What was he, 27, 28 maybe? He couldn't be 30... could he? Did she really miss him as much as she thought she did?... But Regina chased away that thought as well. She liked having a young man stirring up such feelings in her, and she liked stirring up such feelings in a young man too. For now, for better or worse, he was that young man... or at least that younger man, she thought.

"Tell me, do you still love your Babe?..."

The question uttered in a low, cajoling, sweet voice was followed by that irresistible pout evolving into an innocent smile and batting eyelashes that he knew so well and adored. The ringing phone spared him the need to find an adequate answer. Supressing a small sigh of relief, he reached out and then handed her the noisy, intrusive device.

"This woman... Time and time again, I tell her to call my assistant instead of harassing me about every little detail...."

Much as she would have liked to rant about the unanswered call, Regina threw her phone on the hotel nightstand without another word. Son of an absent, indifferent, self-absorbed mother, Lover was likely to misunderstand why she wouldn't answer the nanny's call.

"Anyway... you were about to tell me..."

Lover thanked his lucky stars as the phone started ringing incessantly just as she was about to repeat her question. Regina knew who the caller was before even reaching for her phone. Aside from having her own ringtone, Regina's assistant benefitted from a sort of preferential treatment as well, she was the only one whose calls were answered at all times, no matter what. She couldn't help abusing the woman in various ways, on many occasions, like any good boss does – it was in her nature, after all. But she did her best to keep such behaviour under control. It was this assistant who kept together the intricate web of her now very extravagant existence and Regina knew it. Confidante, advisor and reliable secret keeper, the Assistant could always be sure her calls would be answered, simply because it had been such calls that had prevented a multitude of potentially disastrous turns of events in Regina's complex married life.

"In the hospital? You're joking! But why... how come?"

Regina took a deep, long breath. What now?

"My nanny is in the hospital," she whispered to Lover, putting on her best concerned face while listening to her Assistant's account.

She may have had a heart attack, the Assistant explained. Kid was with her when it happened, he was the one to call for an ambulance.

"My smart, brave little boy... How is my Kid?"

Tears of motherly pride instantly blurred her eyes and Lover could feel his heart melting at the sound of the little boy's name. He wanted children of his own someday and for a while he had dreams of her being the mother of those beautiful babies. But she didn't plan on having any more children, his or any other man's, and Lover had to slowly and irrevocably grow up and accept it, together with the fact that she would never divorce King. Now that little boy was probably suffering, scared and alone... he knew what that felt like... But he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that must fill a mother's heart, knowing that her child is hurting and she isn't there to comfort and protect him. He clasped Regina's hand between his palms, wishing his warmth could convey his empathy and love.

The boy was fine, a little scared and shaken up, but nothing a mother's hug couldn't fix.

"He's fine! My little boy is fine..." Regina whispered and Lover could finally start breathing again. He cared about Kid, he was part of her, an extension of the woman he couldn't deny he still loved, even if his feelings were no longer what they had been.

But he wanted to go to the hospital and see his nanny, and he wished his mother could take him.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Please stay with him until I arrive, will you?" In a matter of seconds, the suffering, remorseful, helpless countenance was replaced by the pure expression of utter fury. "What do you mean with all that? What are you trying to do to me?"

A few more seconds and Regina hung up without uttering another word. She let herself fall apart and fall into Lover's arms, her entire body shaken by the most sincere, desperate sobs of frustration and helplessness.

Now that the nanny was ill, somebody else had to cover for her and plan Kid's birthday party. Damn, the boy's birthday was only a few days away and it had completely slipped her mind. Good thing the Assistant alerted her to it, she really was priceless, that girl... But before she could fully comprehend the depth of that drama, a new one was thrust upon her. Her timing was awful, the Assistant added before Regina had any chance to ask her to take over the nanny's responsibilities regarding the party, but she should really check her email... her resignation was among the day's unread emails. A hardcopy was waiting on her desk as well, requesting Regina's immediate attention. The assistant wanted to leave her right away, for personal reasons she had chosen not to disclose. Yes, there was nothing fake about those desperate tears this time...

"Shush... everything's going to be all right, Babe... breathe, just breathe and relax... oh I love you... I love you... calm down, my love... I'm here... I'm here..." Lover was whispering almost inarticulately, kissing and caressing her soft hair.

The words she longed to hear slowly sipped into her mind, calming down her hysterical soul. He had reassured her, he was still hers to have and toy with, but she had bigger problems to contend with right now. For the time being, her boy toy was almost irrelevant, representing nothing more than safe, fun refuge. Her feelings had faded as well, she finally had to admit to herself while touching up her makeup, getting ready to leave and face the reality waiting for her at home.

"Bye, Lover... I'll text you as soon as I can."

Regina had to take one more look at his naked body lying on the white bed, among sheets crumpled with passion. But what a delightful refuge he had been... What woman could have asked for a better one? Once more, she had the best and the mere realisation filled her heart with courage and pleasure.

Lover watched her rushing out the door... she was so sexy and irresistible, even after a good cry, with black mascara mixed tears running down her cheeks. Did she know she was even more alluring that way, vulnerable and natural? He couldn't tell why, but Lover had the distinct feeling that she did know... He sighed, facing his own reality. One more date had gone by and he couldn't tell her what was going on. No, not like this, the timing was terrible... she had so much on her plate already... next time....

*

In a grey knit knee length turtleneck dress, leather jacket and flats, her hair up in a careless, messy bun, Regina was a changed person. With a remorseful, caring gaze, clutching her fingers on the tote bag's leather handles, she was discretely watching her son hug his nanny, his eyes drowned in tears. Kind words had already conveyed her and King's sympathy, support and worries, together with their best wishes for a speedy recovery. They would do whatever was in their power to help, and medical leave was certainly not an issue... although they hoped to see her back on her feet as soon as possible, she added, but the nanny continued to ignore Regina. She needed a moment alone with his mother, the nanny whispered in Kid's ear, urging him to take the Assistant and see if there was a vending machine that could provide him with that chocolate bar she had promised him earlier. She was feeling fine and he had been such a brave little man, he deserved a small reward.

Once Kid took the Assistant's hand, dragging her after him in search of a treat, Regina came closer to the woman's hospital bed, ready to comfort her. Pillows were in need of being fluffed, blankets needed sorted out and last but not least, she wanted to sit on the side of the bed and hold the nanny's hand while soothing her with gentle words. But rather than having a chance to properly envision herself as a modern-day Mother Teresa, the nanny's grim stare made her stop cold before getting anywhere near the bed. The woman lying down cleared her throat and added:

"I quit, _Mrs_ King. I quit."

Regina opened her mouth to bargain with her, but the same piercing, determined, angry look made her reconsider.

"I'm not working for you anymore, _Mrs_... Life's too short," the nanny snarled at her from the hospital bed.

"Well then..."

It was all she could do not to make a scene. Regina grabbed her tote bag and left the room on shaky legs, not even noticing the nanny's snarky grin as she was walking away speechless.

Out on the long corridor, she had to lean against the nearest wall in order to catch her breath and manage to stop everything from spinning around her. _Deep breaths,_ she kept repeating, trying to figure out what needed fixed first... _deep breaths..._

Kid and the Assistant were returning from their quest, each of them holding a chocolate bar. There was the first problem she needed to deal with... While Kid was sent to the nanny's room so they could say their goodbyes, Regina quickly turned to her manipulative skills to convince the Assistant to keep working for her. Cornered and bombarded with questions, desperate pleas and promises, the Assistant still refused to state the reason for wanting to quit her job. But she eventually gave in and accepted to stay for a few more weeks, until everything calmed down and a new nanny, as well as an adequate new assistant would be found.

A hug, a smile and a promise of a raise sealed the deal. Regina could finally breathe easily – she just knew she could convince the Assistant to stay and the first step had been successfully taken. The young woman knew all her secrets and was vital in keeping them away from prying eyes, she wasn't about to let her leave and risk everything unravelling.

Regina was relentless and the Assistant always caved, especially when Kid was involved, she really cared for the little boy. But she had to wonder how much Regina would want her to keep working for her if she knew why she wanted to quit...

*

Say what they might, but she knew how to through a party... even her in-laws and her frenemies had to admit it. After the cake and presents moment, all the children would have a sleepover, or rather a glamping night in the garden, as far away from the house as possible. Everything had been arranged and now their entertainers and caretakers were waiting for them. Once the little ones were out of the way, the adults could finally enjoy themselves as well; all the parents were invited to a casual pool party.

Regina was pleased with herself. She could feel she made King proud and the nanny debacle had already been forgotten. But it hadn't been an easy job, not at all... Kid was turning eight, but this was the first birthday party she had to put together for her son. And on such short notice... Money and her husband's name had to be thrown around, together with flirtatious smiles and pouts, anger fits and threats, but she managed to put everything together. She had no time for anything else and she was exhausted, but there was nothing a luxurious getaway couldn't fix...

"I hope you don't mind, I brought my boy with me. It took some arm twisting, that's why we're so late," King's business partner mentioned cheerfully to his hosts.

Regina greeted both of her guests as the perfect host she was. Nobody, not even her husband, whose loving arm was still around her waist, noticed her wince at the sight of her Lover. Of course he was there... wasn't it a party for parents and their children? No age limit had been set... King and the older gentleman apologized, they had some matters to discuss. Sure, no problem, but they would have to hurry, the cake was about to be brought in, the Assistant was already trying to gather everybody.

All it took was for the two to exchange one look. Lover discretely followed Regina to a private corner of the house; he had something he needed to tell her. The timing was still terrible, but he couldn't postpone it anymore.

Regina was looking forward to a few minutes of affection with her young Lover; she wasn't expecting him to come to her son's birthday party, but now that he was there, she wanted to make the best of it. Instead he was keeping his distance – they needed to talk.

He was engaged... it was for the best... no, it wasn't love, how could she say such a thing? (But in his heart, he knew he cared about his future wife...) It was a good alliance, really... nothing more than two families merging for mutually beneficial reasons... (But he knew his fiancée loved him too...) He wanted to tell her for a while, but he didn't know how... he didn't want to hurt her... then the moment was never right...

Her son was about to blow the candles... they had to sing _Happy Birthday_ and cut the cake... She had to take care of it all. But... congratulations! He'd make a wonderful husband. It had been a pleasure! And with that, the lady of the house walked away in a hurry. He wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't that... he had no idea he would be discarded like that. But he also had no idea she was growing bored of him even before she had a chance to find out his news.

With a fake, conventionally happy expression suiting the occasion, Regina was singing _Happy Birthday_. But her mind was working fast, all the pieces of the puzzle having fallen into place. She and her husband hand in hand, doting on their son, were the beautiful image of the ideal family. King only had eyes for her and their wonderful son, the child was truly happy, especially since he got to spend so much time with his mother while planning the party, but Regina was focusing on the woman on the other side of the table. For one moment only, her feelings were written on her face, in that loving look she let wash over King and the little boy. But one moment was all it took for Regina to understand why the Assistant wanted to quit her job. She knew that look so well...

The irony of it... Once an assistant herself, Regina knew how easy it was to get under the employer's skin. After all, that's how she got King. She smiled to herself mischievously, the memory of the old chase making her blood boil with both anticipation and a certain amount of jealousy. Had there been anything between the two? All those small insignificant details flooded her memory. King was clearly not indifferent to the mousy Assistant, she realized... But even if there had been anything between the two of them, it couldn't have been relevant to him. A fling and nothing more... there had been others, after all, she had proof of some of his transgressions. Just in case... Yet the events of the last few days had brought her and her husband closer than they had been in a long time. Even if there was something, it couldn't amount to much... And if it did... Well, that's why she had Kid in the first place, to ensure herself a bountiful existence, no matter what. Sure, the child had become surprisingly important to her, but deep in her soul she knew it wasn't only maternal love that warmed her heart.

Maybe she wasn't the only one in need of a sensual getaway... King immediately replaced Lover in Regina's plans. A few days in the tropical resort, just the two of them... that would definitely rekindle the passion, and the Assistant would be nothing but a distant memory, especially since she would be gone by their return.

*

On her way home, the Assistant could hardly breathe. Knowing it had probably been the last time to see King proved to be a lot more painful than she would have imagined. Maybe she shouldn't let him go... Regina didn't love him. She shook her head – her morals were exactly what differentiated her from that woman, and she wanted to be nothing like her. But did her morals make her happy? So just for a moment, the Assistant allowed herself to think how it would be like if.... the same way another assistant thought years before her...
...Or For Worse

The woman in the mirror wasn't the one she remembered. No matter how hard she struggled, she would never see that reflection again. Time had a perverted way of leaving scars on her body in spite of all her best efforts. Turning slowly, analysing every particle projected in the horridly honest mirror, she felt her spirits lifted by the image of a still beautiful mature woman. Her thighs were almost cellulite free... and her stomach, almost flat again... her behind was no longer as firm, but the right pair of jeans made it look just as luscious... her breasts had definitely seen better days, but she would do something about that as soon as possible.

It was a game of make-believe these days, she thought to herself, while masterfully applying her makeup. Not that it hadn't always been that sort of a game, but now it was getting harder and harder to be a winner. No longer so youthful, no longer naturally gorgeous, Regina had to rely on light and shadows, on impeccably chosen outfits and a myriad of makeup tricks in order not to look her age, not to show that she had had a child. Yet it wasn't all the effort necessary for preserving the illusion that she hated, but the scarcity of her resources forcing her to prioritize the urgency of her necessities. Which part of herself would she rescue first? What was she more desperate to preserve?

She could feel waves of depression threatening to drown her. No, she couldn't allow that anymore. Reaching in her bag for one of her pills, she promised herself not to allow negative thoughts to drag her down again. That face was too beautiful and precious to mark with frowns and tears.

Damn it... she really thought she would be ready and gone before they got home. Kid's incessant chatter was a threat to her self-imposed cheerfulness and she felt grateful to her mother for getting him to his room instead of letting him run to her and wipe his most likely dirty paws on her white blouse.

"My baby girl... you're so pretty... let me look at you," her mother gushed, entering Regina's bedroom. "Are you going out, my love?" Mother asked, emphasizing each word in a knowing way.

"Yes, mommy," Regina nodded and smiled like the spoiled little girl she felt she was, in spite of life's atrocities. "I have a really good feeling about this, you'll see."

Mother had heard those words before, yet she believed them each and every time her daughter uttered them to her, no matter what she was referring to.

"Sure you do, nobody deserves it better than you, baby," and she believed it as strongly as Regina did. "Just say goodbye to Kid first, the boy really misses you; and after you shouted at him yesterday, he's afraid you're still upset with him. I don't think..."

"Of course I'm upset with him. Have you got any idea how much that bottle of perfume cost? He needs to learn not to touch my stuff anymore, my things are not his damn toys.... Oh... fine, I'll say a few words to him before I leave, stop looking at me like that. But read him a story and put him to bed tonight, I'll be late and I don't want him awake when I get back."

"What if _he_ comes home before you do? What do I do, what do I tell _him_?"

"Don't worry about him, he knows I'm with a friend who's going through a tough breakup. It's all fine, just put some food in front of him when he comes home and he won't even notice I'm not here. Besides, I think he's going out with the boys after dinner too, so you should just stay over tonight, who knows when the hell he's going to be back... early in the morning, most likely..."

Mother and daughter gave a disappointed, disgusted sigh at King's behaviour. It had been going on for too long and nobody could tell anymore who started acting out first. Regina exchanged a few loving words with Kid and promised him a hug when she came back, if he behaved and stayed away from his parents' things.

"Bye, mommy, gotta go!"

Mother locked the door behind her daughter. From the moment she gave birth, she had dedicated her entire existence to that beautiful baby girl. Now married and with a child of her own, she was still her little girl and the woman didn't shrink from doing anything her daughter needed in order to be happy. In those rare moments she was entirely true to herself, she felt her daughter was missing out on so much by not loving her little boy the same way, and so did Kid, but it all came down to one simple thing: Mother loved her grandchild deeply, but her own daughter took precedence, she was her raison d'être. Her little girl deserved better than this, she deserved to have everything she wanted and to be happy, no matter who got hurt in the process.

*

The candle flickered, giving birth to grotesque shadows. Everything was grotesque, she thought... the romantic restaurant, the dim light and discrete music, the man sitting in front of her... her future, her future was now grotesque too, because she had believed that man to be her future.

"I'm sorry, my love... you have no idea... but I just can't do anything about it... I thought I could, but I can't... and now that she knows, we have to take a break. Just a little break, just for a while, you know... we'll find a way, I promise you."

He kept repeating the same words over and over again. It made no difference. The little break was a definite one as far as she was concerned. In a few words, in no more than a couple of minutes, he had shattered all her hopes and dreams, and now he was hoping to calm her down? Why? How? They had plans, what about their plans, she screamed her outrage at him, upsetting some of the other people trying to enjoy a romantic dinner. So what if his wife found out? They were going to build a life together: he was going to divorce his wife and she was going to divorce her husband, so they could finally have a life together, Regina growled menacingly. He kept explaining, the divorce would cost him too much, he didn't want to hurt her, but he didn't want to hurt his wife either, he feared what everybody would say... he was weak, that's all there was, he was weak... He was still apologizing and repeating futile explanations, but Regina wasn't listening anymore.

The thought of begging him to reconsider crossed her mind, weighing her chances, but she didn't have any wild cards left to play. She was a victim yet again, used and manipulated for a man's twisted game and there was nothing left to do in order to turn things around. Her phone buzzed. _I'm almost there,_ read the text, and Regina smiled candidly. He was almost there. Slowly, poised and with big, blue, tearful eyes, she collected her jacket, bag, phone and parting gift.

"You gave up the best thing you've ever had... throwing away happiness with both hands... and for what?..."

Sweet, soft lips deposited a delicate kiss on his cheek, while those deep, sad eyes let him know she suffered more for his loss rather than her own. That's who she was, always giving without caring whether there was anybody willing to return the favour.

Then she just walked away, beautiful and grief-stricken, without looking back even once, and he had to wonder whether he made the right choice after all... Life was short, was he really living his, now that she was no longer part of it?...

*

"Babe... I don't know what I would've done tonight without you... After the day I've had... you wouldn't believe it if I told you!"

True enough, Lover would find it unbelievable, were he to find out. His image of her just wouldn't allow it. The thought alone made her feel better. So did his wild passionate kisses. The man in the restaurant may have been her unfulfilled future, but the one in the car with her, whose strong arms were wrapped around her, whose luscious lips were going lower and lower on her neck... he was certainly her sensual present.

"You know I always make time for you, Sweets. What happened, who upset my sexy girl? Come on, tell me..."

The irony of a man ten years younger calling her "his sexy girl" was lost on Regina. But since the young man hadn't uttered those words as anything else but an expression of his passion and he was also unaware of the exact age difference between the two of them, nobody was supposed to notice such irony anyway.

"I don't want to think about it anymore. Come on, make me forget. I wanna have fun tonight. I wanna dance, and be with you, and be happy. You'll make your girl happy, won't you?"

The pout, the childish voice and that sweet face were all part of the innocent woman he loved, the victim of such an unhappy marriage, stoically putting up with a cruel, selfish, uncaring, cheating husband for the sake of her son. Of course he would make her happy, that was all he ever wanted.

"My friends are throwing a party for someone's birthday. That could be fun, you know they all love you.... Yeah? Really, you wanna go? Great! I'll make you forget all about your day, you'll see."

Much to his delight, Regina nodded happily, all her worries melting away. She was really pleased with herself for having chosen that casual, youthful outfit. She looked great and almost as young as he was, and she knew it.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes! Let's go," she chirped, throwing her arms around his shoulders to pull him closer.

A long, lustful kiss and the sports car's engine roared. As they sped out of the parking lot, Regina wondered if a certain somebody had followed her, thus getting a front seat for their passionate display of affection. She certainly hoped so...

*

Hours of drinking and dancing with Lover and his friends, followed by hours alone with Lover between the sheets in the five star hotel proved to be just what she needed. The credit card wouldn't be cancelled so soon, she knew that much and she deserved one more luxurious night courtesy of the one she believed to be the man of her dreams up until the previous evening. In fact, a morning of mindless, senseless shopping seemed appropriate as well. She needed to make herself feel better only because he shattered her dreams the night before, Regina reasoned.

Naked and gorgeous, Lover was still asleep, his beautiful body sprawled over the white sheets. Resisting the temptation of going back to bed and spending a few more hours in his arms was not an easy task, but she knew that once awake he would want to talk, he would make all sorts of uncomfortable inquiries. She didn't want to discuss anything before having made a clear plan. He was going to be part of her future, she just didn't know exactly what the best place for him was.

One more glance, she told herself. One more lustful look at the man she was leaving behind and careful not to wake him up, Regina closed the door behind her.

Already in her thirties, in a fit of hysteria and love, afraid of growing old and undesirable, Regina married the man she thought would provide her with that much desired "happily ever after". But she would not allow her forties to find her in such a miserable state, she promised herself, whispering goodbye to that sublime Lover of hers. She was still young and desirable, intelligent and resourceful, a real catch... she deserved so much better!

*

Regina entered her home refreshed and in a cheerful mood. She was a woman with a plan... and lots of shopping bags. Sure, there were still so many details to sort out, but...

"My baby girl, here you are... I told you to keep your phone on, honey... I called and called... and so did _he_ , you know..."

Crumpling a tea towel between her nervous fingers, Mother didn't know where to start.

"By all means, why even bother giving me a moment to myself, right, mom? I can't even breathe for a second in this house without somebody needing something from me! Do I even matter to anyone, do my needs count? None of you give a damn, all you know is to take and take and take... until I've got nothing left to give. You know, one of these days..."

But she didn't finish uttering her threat. Snapping at her wouldn't get Mother to leave her alone. On the contrary... All she wanted was to put away all her new things right after she tried them on once more, but no... that was too much to ask for. It was bad enough that Mother had disrupted that delightful activity; now she was probably going to go on and on about what Kid had said and done, and Regina was in no mood for that.

Something in her Mother's demeanour stopped Regina from abruptly pushing her out of the room. She looked tired, unfocused and small, her back slightly hunched like that. Her puffy eyes gave away the hours she must have spent crying; and what was the deal with that damn tea towel she had brought in such a sorry state? Her heart skipped a beat. Had something happened to Kid?

"No, no, the boy is fine. You need to go talk to him about all this, but he's all right. It's his father..."

Well then... if Kid was fine, what was all this drama about... other than ruining her day, obviously?... Mother took a deep breath, collecting herself. In a few words, she finally managed to spit out a pathetic account of the situation.

King's mother had passed away. They called from the nursing home early in the morning to let them know. Regina breathed a sigh of relief. Finally! Not a moment too soon! A mother herself, the old woman was moved by her son-in-law's suffering. Mourning the death of a parent like that... the man couldn't be all that bad, she thought, and found it her duty to convince her daughter to set aside their differences and stand by her husband in this particular situation. Of course, only if her daughter also agreed that was the best course of action. After all, she was the one married to him, she knew best...

Surprisingly, Regina complied joyfully. She was waiting for years to see the old hag gone, years in which all King ever did was put his mother on a pedestal and point out all the ways in which she, his wife, was unlike her, his mother. The now defunct mother became less of a strain on their marriage after his father's death, when she finally managed to convince King to put her in a nursing home, in another town. Regina no longer had to put up with inopinate visits and unbearable family functions, but the crone still cast a long heavy shadow, often suffocating those few pleasures left from her shattered illusion of marital bliss. But she could feel the taste of victory. Regina was winning by default. She managed to outlive her nemesis and even if she couldn't voice out her true feelings, she found that childish enjoyment coursing through her veins absolutely marvellous.

She found King sitting at the kitchen table, his head resting on his arms, sobbing quietly. His back arched and twitching like that, he was in desperate need of a shower and a shave. Good thing she sent Kid to her Mother's, he really shouldn't see his father like that. Nobody should, she thought, annoyed by how weak the man she once worshiped had become. _You married him because he was such a kind, caring man, who had great potential,_ Regina had to remind herself ever so often. She went to her husband determined to console him, no matter how cheerful she actually felt. After all, keeping up certain appearances regarding her image and personality was one of the things she did best.

"You know she wouldn't have liked to see you this way, my love... You were so dear to her, she would hate to know she caused you all this sorrow. Think of her, how would she feel if she knew the pain she put you through?" _She'd probably love it,_ Regina knew better than anyone what King's mom was like and how she enjoyed manipulating him. "We need to be strong and find a way to cope with this loss, for her sake..."

But King was neither strong, nor coping; instead he took advantage of finally being able to throw himself in his wife's arms and whine like a child.

"You're my rock," he managed to mumble between tears, snot and sighs.

This was not going to be easy, Regina rolled her eyes with a bored grimace. She would obviously have to take care of all the funeral arrangements; he wasn't going to be of any help in this state. As though she didn't have enough on her plate already...

"If you're not going to do it for her, then do it for me," but Regina's plea yielded no results, other than King pulling her even closer to him. She couldn't repress a second impatient sigh. "Then do it for your son. You have to pull yourself together for him. Do you want Kid to find you like this when he comes home? On top of losing his grandma, he's got to see his father falling apart too..."

King stopped his whining, got up and let his wife drag him in the shower. But she would take care of the funeral, wouldn't she? He just didn't have it in him... Yes, she would take care of everything, Regina answered softly, caressing him. She could almost see a hallow glowing above her head.

If only all that great potential hadn't been wasted on nothing...

*

Tall, slender and austere in her simple, elegant black dress, Regina was the epitome of dignified grief. Paleness became her in such times of loss and sorrow, and the modest makeup touches spoke for sleepless nights and shed tears. Family, friends and distant acquaintances alike paid their respects, commiserating with the mournful daughter-in-law and at the same time quietly disapproving of King's behaviour. Slightly incoherent and unfocused, he looked hung-over and devoid of any human emotion.

They weren't wrong. Regina was indeed sleep deprived. Juggling all the details of the morbid event, caring on with everyday life's toils and reconnecting with old friends left little to no time for sleep. Yes, she had been crying. In fact, she had been crying hysterically, because there was no one there to notice her cry, no one to melt at the mere sight of her trouble, endeavouring to rescue her. She cried because there no longer was anything to gain by crying. They weren't wrong about King either. He had spent the previous days in a drunken stupor and she encouraged him to do so, simply because the longer he was passed out, the less she had to play the part of the loving, supportive wife and listen to him whine and reminisce about that monster of a woman.

He looked at her and after all those dark days, walking behind the closed coffin, King felt he finally had his wife back. The woman he thought was the love of his life was finally back, replacing the apparently heartless creature from the past few years. He squeezed her hand in his.

She looked at him in a comforting manner, the way only she could. Walking behind the coffin, Regina felt she could be generous. Seeing the remains of the woman she hated, envied and dreaded approaching the burial plot sparked a barely containable sense of power mixed with mischievous joy. She was alive and she was not going to let it go to waste. She looked at her husband again and her heart sank. How the hell did she end up there, next to that sorry excuse for a man?

*

The wedding photo on her vanity table made a mockery of who she was... of the woman she was trying to be... so Regina grabbed it and shoved it face down at the bottom of one of the drawers. She married a loving, handsome, somewhat intelligent man she hoped would put her on a pedestal and adore her, while she would motivate him to reach his full potential. Instead, all he had ever been consistent in was the ability to fail time and time again. As it turned out, he was nothing but a kind, gentle, limited momma's boy who was more than happy to wallow in mediocrity. Between her spending and his bad investments, they were soon left with nothing. Apparently, the success he was enjoying when they met was the exception, not the rule when it came to King... She looked around annoyed. They wouldn't even have a home large enough for the two of them and Kid, had his father not had the decency to die just at the right moment... She'd make sure to get the apartment, she deserved at least that much, Regina thought, almost frowning at her reflection in the mirror.

The doctor's appointment... she dropped the mascara brush in a frantic spasm, only to pick up her phone to call and confirm the appointment. Oh good... crisis averted. Between the parting gift from the man she thought she might have a brighter future with, her personal savings and some money she managed to discretely obtain as a result of her mother-in-law's demise, she could finally afford to get her breasts to look the way they were supposed to... and perhaps make a couple of other discrete improvements to her general appearance.

But for now, she had to focus on how to look her best and be her youngest, most glamorous self without any surgical help... Mr Impeccable Pedigree was in town and she wasn't going to miss the chance of a... reunion. She knew how to impress him, but it had only dawned on her that she hardly had any of the weapons necessary to do it. A lump was forming in her throat, a deluge of tears menacing to ruin her skilful makeup. She rushed for the pills in her bag. It was definitely a double dose day...

She still had some things set aside for occasions such as this. A couple of timeless designer outfits, extravagant sexy shoes, a bag or two that she now thought cost a fortune and could no longer afford... and of course, matching sensual underwear, recently purchased on her benefactor's now cancelled credit card.

Was she preparing for war of for an easy capitulation? She didn't know and Lover's text prevented her from giving it too much thought. No, she couldn't see him that evening, she was still wrapped up in all sorts of family matters. But she would do her best and find a way to see him as soon as possible. She might even stop by his place late that night, if her husband went out. That perspective improved her mood a lot faster than any pill could. She had no hopes for a serious long-term relationship with Lover, even if he was smitten with her. But he flattered and satisfied her in all the right ways... and he was also pretty successful and had all the right connections, which could prove useful in finding her a great cosy job. He may not be her happily ever after, but he could certainly make for a good transition man from King to someone... better!

There, she was finally ready! She even put on her glasses for a moment, scrutinizing herself as objectively as she could, hunting down any potential flaw. This was as close as she could get to looking the way she used to before getting married, she decided. Lost in her reflection, she could visualize the way their encounter would go. They would talk about their families – he would show her photos of his children, she would show him photos of Kid. A certain selection of pictures, all three of them on the beach... she looked great in that bathing suit and King was looking gorgeous next to her. She may have learned to live with mediocrity, but Regina was not one able to accept the possibility of Impeccable Pedigree not being jealous... She would tell him what a mistake marrying King was. She would tell him of her plans to leave her husband... and she would allow him to be the one to come to her rescue, if he chose to. She hoped he would choose to at least provide her with everything she needed to start over comfortably.

Something else she could visualize was the unanswered question – was she still good enough for him? She had tried to sweep that nagging question under the rug of other irrelevant thoughts, but it kept gnawing and gnawing at her, that's why she felt the need for her pills earlier. He may have been married to a woman his age, but all his girlfriends were stunningly looking girls in their twenties... just like she was back in the day, when he was contemplating a future with her. Would he still see her the same way? She knew his keen eye for detail... would he notice those lines she tried to hide so carefully? Would he notice her pricy heels were slightly worn out? Or that her designer dress and bag had definitely seen better days? How about the fact that she could no longer afford an expensive hairdresser, would he be able to see that? He wouldn't, her brand new extensions looked great...

She flipped her impeccably looking curls, smiling pleased with what she saw in the mirror. It may have been the pills kicking in, it may have been some sort of placebo effect derived from high expectations attached to medically prescribed happiness, or it may have simply been the thought of a wild night with her Lover that filled Regina with that kind of deluded confidence which helped her find the way to any man's heart when she was younger. She would find out all those answers, and if she didn't like them, she would simply choose not to remember them. She had options. There might still be opportunities for her out there, and she picked her vintage bag, determined to go and have them presented to her.

One more glance... yes, she approved of the woman gazing from the mirror.

Regina clicked her heels and went on to shine another day.

###

### Other Books by Ana Linden

_Parallel Lives_ \- A novel by Ana Linden

Testimonials

"If you've ever wondered why relationships are so difficult, Ana Linden's book Parallel Lives offers ample reasons for this diversity and complexity between a man and a woman. Amalia, the main character in the book, provides contemplative insights into finding someone she can like, accept and respect for who he is, from the very beginning. The book reads like a psychological treatise on such subjects as cheating, the death of feelings, suffocation familiarity, compromises, high school love, jealousy and intense sensations.

As a character, Amalia is strong and in control of her life. She has a take me or leave me attitude and offers no apologies for her feelings or lack of them towards the men she becomes involved in, challenging some of them about their own infidelities and double lives – thus the title Parallel Lives.

Every woman who has ever questioned why she doesn't have any physical desire for a kind man who worships her, will find she is not alone here: you just can't fake chemistry.  
What I liked and admired the most about Amalia was that she remains true to herself and her value system. In her affair with the married man, Robert, I couldn't help but think of Fifty Shades of Grey with a feminist twist and without the dominant/submissive contract. Submission is not at all part of Amalia's make-up. She is much too strong willed and independent. Parallel Lives is a refreshing, insightful and encouraging look at what happens when women take charge with confidence of their own desires.

The book also offers some tender and sensual moments and a clear look at how differently men and women view relationships, especially sexual ones."

(Carol Anne Belawyder, Author of the Getting to Mr. Right Series)

Synopsis

Young, beautiful and independent Amalia refuses to apply traditionalist values to any of her relationships with men; therefore commitment, marriage and couple routine are not part of her vision on life. Cynical and highly aware of the realities of an unromanticized modern world devoid of long lasting feelings, Amalia appears to only expect a few moments of fleeting happiness from the men in her life. The opposite sex is often no more than a refuge from all mundane problems and deceptions, so the young woman stubbornly refuses to settle down with any of the men who try to win her affection - that would only mean the death of her soul, independence and character.

A man will treat a woman as badly as she allows him and no man can offer a woman all she needs - these are two of her strongest beliefs, and needing to be in control, she will not shy away from being at least as selfish, self-involved, manipulative and cold as men are to other women in their lives. Amalia wants someone who can make her feel and forget. But as she thrives on introspection and analysis, doubt and disappointment, together with unwanted and unexpected feelings will often overwhelm her.

Above anything else, she is their confidante, the one they entrust with all their fears, hopes and mundane stories, Amalia enjoying their conversations as a means of escaping and forgetting her own issues. Infiltrating the thoughts, ideas and emotions of men who care for her becomes a guilty pleasure in which she will relish whenever she finds the power to remind herself that any drop of happiness needs to be savoured. Getting to know the various men in her life ultimately translates into a deeper understanding of herself and her needs, discovering she can still be both disappointed and amazed by the person she is.

Her evolution over the years outlines the image of a woman who refuses to lie to herself and become somebody else in order to please people and fit in, often accepting loneliness as a reward and not a punishment.

_Albatross_ – Short Stories

There are no villains and no heroes, only people caught in a pivotal moment of their existence. Nothing is absolute, no one is only good or entirely evil. One's life course can be deviated in an instant, and choices are often made instinctively, unconsciously, not only rationally, under socially acceptable terms. Imperfect, damaged characters struggle with their duality and evolution. Their reactions are the product of violence, physical and emotional abuse, neurosis, depression, but also of love, hope and melancholy. Fear is what they all have in common.

The past leaves visible painful scars, which determine present behaviour varying from melancholic introspection and nostalgia, to escapism, claustration, hatred and violence. The six short stories portray characters deeply marred by trauma, loneliness and fear, yet also motivated by hope and love. Acceptance and forgiveness are part of life, just like murder, rape, deception, crime and punishment.

Ambivalence is prevalent. Violence can bring people together as an act of love and support; but its victims rarely stand a chance to thrive. Betrayal can make a relationship stronger; but the people it separates don't always find their way back to each other. Childish simplicity is magical, but deconstructed childhood myths lose their charm; and not all children have a chance to enjoy a carefree life, protected by their parents. _Albatross_ is a world of lost innocence, populated with common, complex people torn between their dual nature and the relativism of their values. Even behind ghastly, mortifying acts there are relatable reasons, and the focus is on those weaknesses and feelings triggering such behaviour. Existence is a balancing act and everyone is one false move away from disaster and darkness.

### Connect with the Author

Thank you for spending some of your precious time reading this book! Your input is valuable, so if you can spare another moment, please leave a review.

For further information on Ana Linden and her writing, visit her blog or her author page:

Author's blog: <http://www.analindenblog.wordpress.com/>

Smashwords author page: <https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/analinden>

Thank you for reading!

Ana Linden
