- What were you just doing?
You trying to kiss me?
- What, no.
Oh my god.
Oh, if I tried to kiss
you, you'd know, fella.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to Mythical Kitchen,
where dreams become,
Brad Leone.
- Yeah, dreams become Brad Leone.
- You've become my dreams a lot lately.
They're actually stress dreams
where all my teeth fall out.
I don't know what to read into that.
- Yeah, that's not weird or anything.
But, we'll roll with it.
- Well, we are making
Doritos cured salmon,
which is great, because
if your teeth fall out,
you can kind of just gum it down.
You'll probably get
even more Dorito flavor.
(Brad laughs)
- What's the plan with that?
You just kind of take some
Doritos, turn them into powder
and pack it onto a fish?
- So that was the first idea,
but then we figured
we'd get a little weird,
kind of deconstruct it down.
So we're gonna take Nacho Cheese Doritos,
Cool Ranch Doritos, the
top two Doritos flavors
in the entire Dorito cannon.
And we're actually gonna reverse engineer
their seasonings and then use that
as a curing mixture.
- Oh okay, so we're
gonna steal the profile--
- Yeah.
- And make it into a curing rub.
Yeah, that sounds delicious.
- It's gonna get a little weird.
- Let's do it.
(upbeat music)
- All right, we gotta make
our Dorito curing mixture right now.
- Okay.
- If you wanna do a little spice roulette,
and taste some of these, and
see if you know what they are.
Like, that one's a fun guy.
- Yeah, I mean, that
doesn't look like something
you would just taste though, right?
- No, no, no, but do it.
- Oh, you went for it.
No, I'll do that.
- Oh, I thought you
were gonna do it to me.
- No, we just met each
other for God's sakes.
What is that?
- That's buttermilk powder.
- Oh.
- So right now we're making
a base curing mixture
on the ingredients that both
Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch
both share, so it could be--
- Oh, so all of this stuff is in both?
- Yeah, if you got plain
Dorito, it would just be this.
So we got buttermilk, we got garlic.
- [Brad] A little lactic-y, kind of nice.
- I mean, curing fish, right,
you can probably speak to more than I can,
but it's getting the moisture
out essentially, right?
- Sure, sure, getting the moisture out
and getting the salt in, right?
- Yeah.
All right, so we got salt,
sugar, MSG, tomato powder,
onion, garlic, and buttermilk.
- A little tomato powder.
- A little tomato powder in there.
- What was that, salt?
- That was just salt, yeah.
And then we also have
a fair amount of MSG.
So we do like a three to
one, salt to MSG ratio.
- Okay.
- And then we're just gonna buzz this up,
just to make sure--
- And that was you, or that was Doritos?
- That was Doritos.
So like, I always go
through the ingredients list
and try and go through by weight.
'Cause everything's
listed from weight down.
So yeah, the salt, cheddar cheese, whey,
monosodium glutamate, buttermilk,
Romano cheese, all that.
- All right.
- So this is the last thing,
this is disodium inosinate,
and disodium guanylate.
This is a really heavy chemical mixture,
that you're not supposed to
use more than .3% by weight.
So of course, we would
naturally measure it out.
- Yeah, that seems right.
- That seems right.
- That seems right.
- And then we're just gonna buzz this up.
Spin it up a little bit.
- Where the hell
did you get this from?
- Cheddar cheese powder, that's fun.
Anything you can get on Amazon.
We actually just hit
up Bezos specifically.
- Yeah, Jeff's all right.
You know, he's getting a little--
- Blow on that for good luck.
- Blow?
Then it's gonna go in my eyes.
(Brad blows)
- Nailed it.
- [Brad] It's pretty glow in the dark.
- It's pretty glow in the dark,
I think it's gonna give
it a really great color.
Because I mean, if you
look at Doritos, like--
- They're kind of glowing
in the dark a little.
- [Josh] They're kind
of glowing in the dark,
so you can see where that
color is coming from.
- Yeah, that's it.
That with the tomato powder,
I think you're gonna get it to a--
- I mean, cheddar cheese
is naturally dyed anyways.
- Yeah, with annatto.
- Annatto, a paprika extractive.
So I figure all we're doing is, you know,
taking a natural product
and elevating it.
- Yeah, it's nice.
- Speaking of which, Romano
cheese, we're also doing that.
Letting our nacho cheese do this.
- Little of that rain in there.
Oh, oh.
- Dang it, sorry, man.
I freak out, I shouldn't, you're here.
- No, it's fine, bud.
Here, no, but look, get
all that in, come on.
- Thanks, thank you.
- We don't cut corners on this show.
- Do you want a Dorito?
- No.
- Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, we're
gonna blend this up.
We're gonna blend this up,
and then we're gonna mix it
with half of the spice mixture.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna measure it super--
- You said that extremely fast.
- Thank you.
- People have a hard time understanding me
and it seems to be working.
- Yeah.
I gotta say though, I grew
up, my dad said, water,
'cause he's from Philadelphia.
- Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
- Yeah, I felt kind of
like you were my da...
No, so we're gonna go ahead and mix this
Dorito powder.
- It's fine.
You know, I don't know how old you are,
but you know, it's fine.
- Me neither, man.
- [Brad] All right, so
mix that bad boy up.
- Mix that bad boy up.
Cool Ranch, I feel like we gotta move.
So this is dehydrated bell pepper.
- We gotta move?
- No, no, no, you're fine.
Brad, you're fine, you're perfect.
How's that taste?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, is it?
- Uh, no.
Hold on, don't do that.
Pretty Dorito-y.
- Also you see that Cool Ranch, right.
Got all the green and red specks?
- Yeah, what's that all about?
- Boom, green and red bell pepper.
- Oh, you like bell peppers?
- I'm a fan.
- You like green ones?
- Uh, yeah, why do you ask?
- Me too, I love them.
- You love them, people hate them.
- People hate them.
- They're one of the top three
most maligned bell peppers.
- They're so good.
- They're so good.
- When you get them nice,
if you like, grow them,
ripe off the plant, not
just like, some BS ones
from the super market.
- Yeah.
- Eat it like an apple, man.
- Great, yeah.
All right, so we got dill,
parsley, bell pepper in there.
A little bit of black pepper.
- [Brad] What's that?
- Dill.
I already said dill, I lied.
- What's this, sugar?
Or is it like umami enhancer?
- Oh, (honk).
Taste it.
- Vinegar powder?
- It's just straight
citric acid, actually.
- Oh, delicious.
- Yeah.
It's nice.
- Throw it in.
- All right.
Bust this up.
- Yeah, give it a little wack.
- Thank you.
(Josh coughing)
Sorry.
- (coughs) Yeah, that's a little tough.
- What is that, is that
bell pepper is the lungs?
- No, that's that citric acid.
- It's the citric acid.
We've only had to use the
fumigation a couple times.
- Couple times?
- You taste it.
- All right.
- In a kitchen--
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Am I allowed to lick my
finger and stick it in there,
and then lick it?
- Yeah, dude, whatever you're into.
- That's Cool Ranch-y, right?
- That's Cool Ranch-y.
- Should we start playing with some fish?
- Yes, get the fish.
- Thanks, man.
We're gonna get the fish.
(upbeat music)
All right, so we got our
beautiful, thin-boned,
wild Alaskan salmon.
- Beautiful.
- Thank you.
We actually got this from our
fishmonger named Jeff Bezos.
- Jeff!
- Jeff!
- He delivered it nice.
- He's out that.
Oh, man, he looks like
Vladimir Putin shirtless,
grabbing salmon out of the waters of Can--
- With his hands, like a
grizzly bear with his mouth.
- You can probably exclaim
why wild Alaskan salmon
is the best thing, because
the reason I got it
is because of you.
- Oh, cool, man.
- I like it, I think it's...
What is this, like coho or something?
- Yeah.
- It's got a lower kind of...
I like ones that have a lower
fat content, for curing.
I just kind of like how it's
like a dense kind of texture.
- All right, so we're just
gonna trim this up a little bit.
Did a decent job, I just
kind of wanna get in--
- What are you cutting off?
- Well, I was gonna cut
that off and that off.
- What are you gonna do that for?
- Well, I wanna make soup later.
- Oh, all right, I get that.
I see how your brain's working.
- [Josh] Yeah, do you
wanna do the next one?
- No, you got it.
- Have you ever used a knife?
- Not before.
- All right.
- [Brad] But I like it.
I mean, those are nice
little chunks for soup.
- Yeah, it's good, right?
- You a big soup guy?
- Big soup guy.
- Big soup guy, here.
- My favorite soup is cereal.
- What?
- Cereal.
- That's not soup.
- Like, a bowl of--
- You getting cute?
- [Josh] All right,
should we cure the salmon?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm a little (honk) up
from your soup, cereal thing.
- Man, dude, just let it happen.
- Yeah, I mean, we're
making Dorito cured salmon,
so nothing surprises me.
- What?
- That's the plan, here.
- Dorito cured...
That's crazy, man.
You're crazy.
- Yeah.
- [Josh] So we're just gonna
dust this very liberally.
- [Brad] You wanna use all of it, right?
- [Josh] I was thinking we'd save some
for dusting later.
- [Brad] I think this is gonna work great.
- I'm gonna do this one.
- That's nice, okay.
- [Josh] Yeah, we really wanna
cake the cheese on though.
I got drafted once.
- What?
- MLB draft, 16th round.
- Really?
- Turned to cooking instead, you know?
- Really?
- No, that was a lie, I'm sorry.
I don't know why I lie for attention.
- Then don't say nothing.
I don't know, I guess we
all do it sometimes, right?
A little fib.
What were you just doing,
were you trying to kiss me?
- What, no.
Oh my god.
Oh, if I tried to kiss
you, you'd know, fella.
All right, so we're gonna...
You wanna pick that up?
- Yeah.
Put it down.
- [Josh] Yeah, put it on,
and then we'll just do that.
- Nice little foldy folds.
Then you're prick some
holes in it, here look.
- Here prick some holes in it.
- I got you a little skewer.
I'm excited the color on this,
I think it might be a little
bit of a happy accident.
Maybe you're gonna see
this on menus all over.
- You sound like my parents now.
And then all right, now
we need to weigh it down.
So we got all the heaviest
things in our kitchen.
- [Brad] Skin down?
- Yeah, I go skin side down,
and then we're not gonna flip it.
All right, so we're just
gonna put this in the fridge
for three days?
- Three days sounds good.
- And then do think in that three days
we can work how awkward I am?
- No, I don't think that
time frame's gonna work out.
- It's gonna be a minute.
(upbeat music)
It's been three days and I think
I've become a lot more
confident in myself.
- Yeah, I can tell.
- Yeah, that you so much.
So we're gonna go ahead and take...
- Here, here, let me help you.
- Do it, do it, do it.
You got it, all right.
- [Brad] Whoa, look at that color, bud.
- [Josh] We haven't gotten
a lot of moisture loss.
The cheese is gumming it all up.
- The cheese sponged it up.
We went big time orange there.
- Big time orange.
- Like raw turmeric orange.
- Yeah.
- I dig it.
I kind of dig the color.
- Do you wanna do the
honor of unwrapping that?
- Yeah, I'll do that.
- I think you should.
Now typically, you'd rinse off the salmon.
- [Brad] Oh, look at that guy.
Yeah, that's something.
- All right, so you
typically wash off the fish,
like rinse it off.
- Yeah, here, let me slide right down.
- Slide right down.
How does it feel compared to
a non-Dorito cured salmon?
- [Brad] It feels pretty good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Where we going with this?
Right on the towel?
- Pop it right there,
pop it right on the
Mythical Kitchen towel.
- That's a nice towel, bud.
- This looks nice, this
looks like a cured salmon.
And you feel, it didn't
seem like it seized up
from the citric acid.
- No, it seems nice.
Here, let me get rid of this, all right?
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah, let me do that.
- I'm gonna use that for my soup.
It's a crudo salmon stock.
- You're a sick boy.
A real suck puppy, pal.
- A little bit.
Do you wanna take a knife off the wall?
- Yeah, maybe this.
So you can get like a nice...
- Yeah, I think I'm kind of--
- Yeah, give it a shot.
- Are the hips part of it?
- Yeah, the hips are
definitely part of it, bud.
- [Josh] So you wanna get a
lot of movement on the blade.
- Why use just a two inch edge,
when you have 10 inches,
and you can slice?
- [Josh] That's a good point.
- And you get a cleaner cut.
Just like a mush hack.
- Mush hack was my
nickname in high school.
- Right, that felt good?
- That did feel good.
- Right, look at you, bud.
Yeah, that worked out good.
- All right, do you wanna try it?
- You can.
- Here let's cut it in half.
- No, I'll try it, of course.
- All right, all right.
- Yeah.
- I mean--
- It's not lacking flavor.
- It's certainly not lacking flavor.
How do you feel about it?
Like, instinctual, like
turn your brain off.
Don't think about the cured salmon
that you've had in the past.
Just think about your pure
animalistic lizard brain.
This is the caveman...
Like, does your body crave this?
- I think it really
depends, you know, on, um...
(light music)
- Let's try the Cool Ranch.
- This thing is wild, bro.
- You gotta crouch down here.
It's pretty sweet.
- Get the hips involved.
- Get the hips involved.
Do you think this is
gonna be better or worse?
The texture on it's really interesting.
- Yeah.
I like that one a little better.
- Yeah.
- This was the Cool
Ranch, the last one, yeah.
- This was the Cool Ranch, yeah.
So you're actually like,
getting some herbs on there.
- That one's kind of nice.
- It's the bell peppers.
- It's the damn green bell peppers.
- The green bell peppers.
- Those are tasty, man.
- Yeah, you wanna make
a bagel and eat this?
- Yeah, a little bagel.
- I'd like to.
Can we get some bagels in here?
- A little creamed cheese.
Fly in the bagels.
- Fly in the bagels.
(upbeat music)
All right, man, so we got
the whole spread out here.
We got you a sesame bagel,
I'm an everything man.
I like the breath to just be stanking
throughout the entire day.
- Yeah, you got it.
- It's a power move around the office.
- I like a sesame bagel, you know?
I'm glad you got the block cream cheese,
you got the block over the whipped.
- I hate the whipped.
- I'm not a whipped cream cheese guy.
- I want the denseness.
- Yeah, it's nice.
- I'll whip it in my mouth
while I'm chewing it,
that's what I always say.
- Yeah.
But you don't have a hole,
that's kind of nice though.
- That's kind of nice.
Bagels don't need the holes.
- Well.
- [Josh] All right, are
you gonna go Cool Ranch
or are you gonna go Nacho Cheese?
- I'm gonna go Cool Ranch.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you go Nacho.
- Do it.
All right, I'll go Nacho.
I'm just gonna grab it with my hands.
- Yeah, yeah, what are doing?
This looks pretty good, bud.
- It does, thanks.
When the cameras were rolling
and I was slicing fish up by myself,
I feel like I really hit a rhythm.
- Yeah, you got into it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Brad] That's got some nice color.
- Yeah.
I'm really proud of how this turns out.
And I'm really thankful for you being here
and like teaching me.
- Thank you for having me.
I didn't teach you much,
but we had a lot of fun together,
we learned a little bit.
I'm gonna not do tomato.
- You don't have to do tomato,
I'm not gonna do tomato either.
- I'm gonna do a little caper.
That looks nice.
- [Josh] I like that.
- A little olive oil?
That's not olive,
that's grapeseed oil.
- That's grapeseed oil.
- Yeah, who you fooling, bud?
Get out of here.
It's fine, it's gonna be fine.
- Do you want some honey?
I thought I had olive oil there.
- It's probably corn syrup, this is fine.
- Oh, crap.
I keep fudging this up.
- Yeah, you fudged it.
- All right, man, we doing this?
- Yeah, get in there, bud.
- Let's do it.
Well, we gotta do a little--
- A little cheers?
- A little cross
contamination, just in case.
- Yeah, bud.
Pretty good.
- I'm happy.
- I've paid for worse.
- Yeah, oh, me too.
- It's good.
- [Josh] I love the color that's going on.
- Love the color.
- Love the color.
I'm gonna do a little extra.
- The buttermilk powder is kind of cool.
What are you doing now, bud?
You're making a mess.
- No, no, no, it's fine.
That's my mess, I'll use those for soup.
(Brad laughs)
- Hey, that's probably pretty good though.
- You want some?
- No.
But it's probably pretty good.
I like it, man.
- The buttermilk and the
cheese powder cakes it up,
gums it up, sponges it a little bit.
Overall you get like a
pretty solid cure on it.
- I'm genuinely surprised
how well it turned out.
- That is the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
- All right.
- That's the nicest
thing you've said to me.
- (laughs) I believe that.
- How likely are you
to bring this technique
back to the BA test kitchen?
(Brad chuckles)
Are you gonna tell them about me?
- No.
- Okay, that's cool, me neither.
(laughter)
- I'll definitely share
what we've experienced
here together.
- Thank you.
Well, we're not done yet.
We got one more thing.
We gotta actually take our spork cam,
and we gotta feed someone,
to try and get like, their reaction to it.
- Their what?
Your what?
- Their opinions.
- What's a spork cam?
- Well, we attached a GoPro to a spork.
Sorry, I forgot spork
cam is not a real word.
(upbeat music)
All right, Brad, so we're
gonna take the spork cam.
- Spork cam, flying it in.
Look at that bad boy.
- That's for you,
you're gonna load up a bite on that,
and then we're gonna feed Nicole,
'cause we're kind of
pressed for time right now
and we're not gonna leave the kitchen.
Nicole, you hungry?
- Uh, sure?
- [Brad] Here we go, spork cam.
- Hi.
Okay.
- Gentle.
- Here you go.
- Gently.
- Oh, that was good.
That was nice.
- Which one is this?
- That was Cool Ranch, can you not tell?
- No, I can tell now.
That's really good.
Oh, I can taste the--
- Care to try the Nacho Cheese?
- [Nicole] Yeah.
- Sorry, I gotta put
it on the spork, sorry.
- Oh, here we go, big bite.
Go ahead, we'll let you finish.
Give her a little water, would you, bud?
- [Josh] Guys, we need water...
- Oh, that's crazy.
- Lot of flavor going on.
- Oh my gosh, I can taste the MSG.
- Yeah, you can.
- Like, that's the really
strong thing that I'm tasting.
- You might wanna chug like,
a liter of water after this.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's really, really delicious though.
The Cool Ranch comes
through like, at the end.
And I really like the
cheesiness of the Nacho Cheese.
It is very cheesy.
I'm a big fan, guys.
You guys did a good job.
- Oh, success.
We did it.
- You guys did a good job.
- All right, Nicole, thank you.
Thank you, Brad, so much for stopping by.
- Thank you, bud.
I really like your spork cam.
- Yeah, I had a fun time.
And thank you guys so much for subscribing
to Mythical Kitchen.
Like, comment, subscribe, we
got recipes out every week.
- [Brad] Yeah.
- We got something
coming out next week.
- Do it.
- And also we got more
things like, all the time.
Wow, so crazy.
Check our Brad's show, "It's Alive",
on the Bon Appetit YouTube channel.
I'll see you next time, thanks so much.
- [Brad] Yeah.
- [Josh] You can cook up your own feast
while wearing the Mythical Kitchen apron.
Available now at Mythical.com.
