 
# The Awakening: Dark Angels of Music

The true story of Camille Paige

By Camille Paige
Copyright © 2015 Camille Paige

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## Thank You

I first give thanks and dedicate this book to my heavenly Father. Had it not been for your request I would have never even thought about it. Had it not been for your grace I would have never made it through it. And had it not been for your mercy I wouldn't be living to tell about it today. Lord you said that if I put you first that everything else would be added unto me. Thank you for being there like you promised you would when everyone turned their backs on me, and even when I turned my back to you... "I love you Dad."

Special "Thank you" to Minister Craige. G. Lewis for exposing the truth about the music industry, being obedient in your assignment for the lord and leading me to my spiritual calling and purpose. You have been nothing short of a blessing in my life and I intend to be the same for you in return.

To all that witnessed what happened when I went missing in 2014 and did not judge me, I thank you. I understand that there are still a lot of unanswered questions and this is my attempt to answer them. It's easy to tell someone about an altercation with another human being, but it's a different struggle to confess that you battle with spiritual warfare. Thank u all, also, for keeping me in prayer during this tough time.

To all who have helped me, encouraged me, loved me and prayed for me, I truly thank God for you. Never in a million years would I have imagined that this was a part of God's will for my life. Thank you all for being the angels in disguise, I thank God for you all; Rose Moore, Gloria Jones, Phoenix Dawson, Danney king, Doc. Betty Hall, Dewayne Davis, Moina Tucker, Aricka pore, Tim, Jared Freeland, Aaron "Keys" Shelton and anyone I forgot to mention, Thank you.

To all those who indirectly encouraged me along the way and prevented me from committing suicide, Thank you so much, because you helped save my life; Kierra "Kiki" Sheard, Marvin Sapp, J. Moss, Fred Hammond, James Fortune, Lonnie Hunter, Jessica Reedy, Fantasia Barrino, Lil Mo, Faith Evans, and Koko...

## Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Page

Thank You

Prelude

Chapter 1: Wake Up Call

Chapter 2: The Perfect Relationship

Chapter 3: Rude Awakening

Chapter 4: Freak Accident

Chapter 5: The Price of Fame

Chapter 6: Revelation or Confirmation?

Chapter 7: Wake Up Call

Chapter 8: Divine Intervention

Chapter 9: Too Much Power

Chapter 10: Interdimensional Signs

Chapter 11: The Conspiracy

Chapter 12: Strange Meets Stranger

Chapter 13: Angels in Disguise

Chapter 14: "They"

Chapter 15: New Beginnings

About The Author

## Prelude

"Hello, I am a 23yr old female in Detroit, MI and I was wondering if u may be able to assist me, as you seem very well educated on the matter? I have been having strange/unexplainable encounters with what I believe to be demons and I am desperate to rid myself from them and live a normal life...

Around August 2011 I was rudely awakened by what I believe to be a demon and it verbally threatened me "I want you," twice in English.

August 2012 I had another encounter, awakened by an entity trying to paralyze me (but I was able to "stop" it), and less than twelve hours later I was involved in a near fatal car accident that resulted in an ER trip, where they had to stick a plastic tube in my eye to get glass particles out.

August 2013, a few months shy of ANOTHER potentially fatal car accident, I was admitted into a mental institution due to what I believe to be demonic spirits manipulating my mind and influencing me to walk into oncoming traffic in the middle of a busy 4-lane road.

And last but not least, just a few days ago, August 26, 2014 I was involved in yet ANOTHER near fatal car accident where my car did a full 360 in the middle of the freeway (in which, one point my car was traveling at least 40mph backwards) before I slammed into the medium. Please note that it was around 6/7ish in the day, cars were EVERYWHERE in ALL LANES. Yet... no one got hurt (with the exception of myself).

I am contacting you guys as a last resort. To my knowledge I have no prior history with the occult, witchcraft or Ouija boards but I WAS informed that a great aunt of mine may have been involved in witchcraft in the past, and I'm wondering if this would have any effect on me? As you can see there has been multiple attempts on my life since the very first verbal conversation with that demon in my room, in 2011 (I have police reports, hospital bills/records, release forms and pictures to prove every event). I am not looking for someone to exploit my mishaps, but I am pleading for someone to actually take into serious consideration my feelings with a sincere desire to help me. Please help me. God bless..."

This was the email that I'd sent to about 40 paranormal research investigators in my area, on August 31, 2014. I had been experiencing demonic attacks all my life, I just didn't realize that that's what they were until it was too late. But I had-had it with these series of seemingly-coincidental "freak accidents" that would have accounted for my death the past 3 consecutive years in a row... So much so, that I even sent the email out to a few demonologists as well. To date, I have escaped a total of 5 deaths in the last 3 years and I have been through enough to know for certain that I am not dealing with a case of your typical paranormal phenomenon, nor the consequences of repeated irresponsibility.

But this wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that I was suffering; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even socially. These entities were slowly killing me in every way imaginable, in front of everyone, but no one could see it. And one day I would possibly die from it without anyone ever knowing what really happened. My torment eventually got so bad that these forces didn't have to try to kill me, I wanted to kill myself.

Are all these events really just a severe case of unfortunate coincidences? Am I indeed a victim of demonic attacks or demonic possession? I'll let you be the judge of that. As for me, I hope not. Honestly I don't know if I am or not. I have reason to believe I might be. And though this isn't a reality I want to accept, it is certainly an issue I need to address, because at this point, my life depends on it....

## Chapter 1

Wake Up Call

All my life I knew I was "Different..." I just never knew why. I was never an overly-religious child, despite my great grandmother being a minister and my Christian upbringing. I always had this interesting relationship with God, and although I never understood him, or why he did certain things, I never questioned him either. I'd questioned Jesus a few times though... and to this day, amongst all my other secrets, I am ashamed to admit it.

August 2011 wasn't the first time I had woken up unable to move, nor the first time I had heard voices. It had happened to me at least 3 times before, that I can recall, and every single time I would awaken from sleep unable to move ANYTHING but my eyes. And at least two of those three times I heard voices of what sounded like 100 or so men speaking in other languages. I believe the bible refers to them as tongues. However, I would never see anything. I would only sense feelings of pure death, "static electricity-like" tingling throughout my entire body and heart racing fear. This was a feeling I knew all too well and it would only take place a few seconds or so but, it always felt like forever.

The first encounter like this happened when I was in elementary school. I was living with my mother and younger brother at the time, in "The Purple House" right across from Hutchins Middle School, on Detroit's west side. I woke up out of my sleep unable to move. At best, it only startled me but I wasn't frightened. I didn't hear any voices and I didn't think much of it, so I went back to sleep. The following morning I asked my mother about it and she explained "That's just the witch riding your back." Her demeanor was dismissive, so in my mind I thought "Mom doesn't see a problem with it, oh well." I shrugged it off and continued with my day.

My brother and I moved with my Grandma after our mom passed. She died in 2005 right as I was entering into high school. Studying as a vocal major at Detroit School of Arts (DSA), I was a sophomore when I was exposed to the "Truth Behind Hip Hop" series of Minister Craige. G. Lewis. I'd never heard of him before, nor the horrible rumors of so-called demonic influences in the music industry. My grandmother, my younger brother and I gathered in family room one night to watch the first installment; where he focused deeply on the spiritual, and otherwise religious, significance of what had allegedly took place behind closed doors with mainstream artists in the music industry.

"Lucifer was the head musician in heaven. The bible speaks of musical instruments being built into his body...Music, it's the Universal language." He paced back and forth on the TV. He went on about how Lucifer prided himself in the innate ability he possessed to manipulate the emotions of the other angels with music, and that when he was cast out of heaven, his assignment never changed. He is still the chief of music and he wants to be worshiped. In the words of Minister Lewis; "He wants his place back!" So basically, if you want to be successful in an industry that's run by the devil, you have to sell your soul.

He began singing the coffee jingle, "The best part of waking up...—"

"—...Is Folgers in your cup!" The audience finished.

"Did Folgers come out with an album? ....You didn't go out and buy the Folgers album?!.... But you know the lyrics to the song.... Music is the only thing that can enter a man's mind and disturb his very conscience without his permission. That's why you know the lyrics to songs you don't even like!" He ministered through the TV.

Ears wide open and eyes in utter disbelief, I was glued to the TV and speechless. I was an aspiring R&B artist who'd been struggling to launch a music career since the age of five and now, according to Minister Lewis, the one thing I ever wanted in life came at the expense of selling my soul... or converting to gospel of course.

I can't be a gospel artist! I mean I could sing gospel but... what about the "artist" part? What am I gonna write about? I don't really know God like that... and as much bad as I've done, he probably doesn't know me either. I don't know what to say about him... he won't even talk to me!

I just didn't relate to Gospel, and these thoughts ran through my mind every time my dad would ask me why I didn't "Go gospel." Besides, I loved singing about love. I can relate to pain and heartbreak. Needless to say, writing about no-good men came easy too! But I couldn't relate to Christianity, mainly because I didn't know the true meaning or purpose.

But apparently, I had to either go gospel, or sell my soul to be the kind of artist I'd always dreamed of. Looking at the TV and shaking my head in denial, I didn't want to believe it was true. But what I absolutely couldn't do was ignore that fact that everything Minister Lewis was saying made entirely too much sense to be a complete lie. Something was going on in the music industry that I had no idea about, but music was always my first love and frankly, my Main goal in life. Regardless to whether he was telling the truth or not, if I wanted to live my dreams as a secular artist and go to heaven afterward, I had to find out.

About a year later, I had my second experience. I was around 17 years old, attending Pershing High School. Montez was my boyfriend and particularly different from anyone else I had met. He was the first person I had ever heard openly admit that they didn't believe in the bible. He was also one of the first people to introduce me to the overwhelming presence of demonic activity in the music industry, more specifically, the "Illuminati."

Though his confession against Christianity challenged my belief system, I didn't feel threatened by it, as I think others would have, nor did I take on a defensive position. I believe this is because I never really understood the bible anyway. I'd made an attempt to read it once or twice before but could never grasp its concepts, particularly because of its "Old English" translation. Despite my lack of understanding, I had never denounced God as my creator, nor questioned Jesus Christ being the son of God, up until this point. I never took Montez's word for anything either, instead I researched it. To this day I have yet to question God's existence, but the minute I began to "open my eyes," my perception of reality got turned up-side-down, and nothing has ever been the same since.

Fresh out of last-hour class, I was at the studio with Montez. He was a producer with a studio in the basement. I plopped down on the bed in the pitch black bedroom, across from the studio, and laid down. Though I was recording just moments before, I was a label-mate with free studio time so I waited for the guys who'd just arrived for a paid, nine-hour recording block to finish their session. Before I knew it I was fast asleep. I remember waking up to Montez climbing in bed and laying on his stomach, right next to me, with his head facing the wall on his side. My head rested to the left side of the room, I laid back down and went to sleep.

While dreaming, I drifted upward, out of myself, as I looked down at Montez and I lying in the bed. There I was, on my back just as I was before I drifted to sleep, as well as Montez on his stomach, facing the opposite direction. I descended back into my body and while lying there, Montez woke up, turned towards me, placed his arm over my stomach and laid his head on my chest. His body pressure was so real that I immediately woke up from the dream. Hearing strange whispers, I went to nudge Montez and cry for help only to find that I couldn't move anything but my eyes. I looked to the right and he was still in the same position he laid down in but I could still feel the pressure of him laying on my chest as he did in the dream. I was TERRIFIED. After about 15 seconds everything stopped and I could move again. Montez almost fell off the bed because I jerked him so hard. Crying uncontrollably, I begged him to wake up. I was afraid to look at anything but him because of what I might see.

I left his house and didn't return for a while afterward. I didn't know what had happened to me nor did I know what to make of it. All I knew was I didn't like it and I didn't want it to happen again. In between praying and repenting my sins, I thought of every possible explanation to rationalize the ordeal. I was most definitely awake so it wasn't a part of the dream. Maybe he had restless spirits in his house? Maybe they were after me because I was exposed to information I wasn't supposed to know? Maybe Montez secretly practiced occult teachings in the house? I didn't know, but in my mind, the experience had something to do with him or his house and I needed to stay away for a while.

I don't think I could have been any more wrong about him and his house being the cause of my experiences with these "entities." I'd completely forgotten about my childhood encounter until this happened. The third time it happened I was in the comfort of my own bed in the same home I'd shared with my brother and grandmother since my mother passed away. Unable to move... unable to understand the voices, it was happening again. It wasn't until then, that I had to come to grips with the fact that I was the issue and not the houses. Whoever these entities were, they were following me, and it literally got worst as time passed. I dreaded this reality that anything other than God and angels existed in the spiritual realm. I think u can guess that at first I was in denial. But the next few years proved to be undeniable proof that I couldn't dismiss. The beginning of repeated, progressively worst, spiritual attacks, torment and frankly, a modern day hell on earth...

## Chapter 2

The Perfect Relationship

Happy and dancing to Kierra "KiKi" Sheard's 'If It Had Not Been,' it was summer 2010 and I was fresh out of Sunday morning service, on my way to my fiance's house. I'd been jamming to the same gospel CD for about a month straight. Despite the seemingly endless heart ache and drama I was going through, between my fiancé and his child's mother, I was full of a joy that I couldn't explain. It was almost like I was high, so high that the drama couldn't reach. His child's mother and I had a long history of heated words and threats between each other. Though everybody knew I was a sweetheart, I was sure she hated me. I only almost hated her, and if I ever had an enemy, she was it.

In the middle of singing, snapping and praising I heard something out of the blue say, "Call her and tell her you love her." My immediate thought was "What? Oh no." then it said "just do it." I picked up my phone, looked at it, and dialed one of the numbers she'd been calling and harassing me from—for the past year.

"Hello?!" She snarled.

I took a deep breath, "Ashley?"

"What do you want?!"

I rolled my eyes and looked at the roof of the car as if to ask, "God, why?"

I spit it out "....I love you..."

To my surprise, I didn't burst into flames. I didn't puke either! It actually felt...good. This scared me. That I was intrigued, confused, high and happy all at the same time while talking to the devil. Who would've known that all this time he was a short, ghetto girl from Detroit's west side? I mean, she obviously wasn't the devil, but she was the closest thing to him. I wasn't a perfect angel either, as none of us are, but she definitely brought out the worst of me. Back then, anybody who knew of our run-ins knew that all hell would break loose if we ever got hold of each other.

"You love me??" Disgust rang in her voice.

"Yes, God told me to tell you I love you." I didn't know what else to tell her.

She blurted a bunch of ignorant mess as she always did but my job was done, so I hung up the phone and continued praising. With a smile on my face and joy in my heart I didn't have a care in the world about anything I was going through. Even though I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown just a few weeks before, due to my fiancé and I falling apart, it was like the pure love of God erased everything and all the pain it came with.

I was a sinner, confused about my religion and a struggling college drop out with no money... not to mention I was driving a raggedy car on my way to see a man who didn't really care about me...But I served a God that was so good, that through it all I could still have joy. I was untouchable in his abyss, and fearless when I began to walk in it.

Mook and I hadn't been on speaking terms. Fed up with his lies, mind games and infidelity, I'd fallen in Love with someone else. Not to mention that the physical abuse became so much that I could no longer love him more than I loved myself. I pulled up to his house and parked right in the front as usual.

"Hey." Wearing a smile as I walked up his driveway. I know it threw him off cause we hadn't spoken much since the altercation we had days before.

"What you smiling for?" He frowned.

Confused I said "because I'm happy."

"What you so happy for?" he looked as if I'd done something wrong.

"Um, because of God." I chuckled. At this point, I'm smiling from ear to ear. I knew he wasn't expecting me to show up so seemingly-pleased with him. Let it be clear, I wasn't pleased with him and he knew why. But my focus was so far beyond him, that what he'd done didn't even matter anymore. I was numb; completely emotionally detached from his antics and his games.

Eyebrows tensed, he looked me up and down. "...God must have had some help putting that smile on your face..."

I was appalled, but I tried so hard not to laugh because I knew what he was thinking. I managed to keep it inside and asked,

"What is that supposed to mean? What's the problem?"

"Nothing..." With his hand on his chin, playing with his beard, staring at me like he was trying to solve a puzzle...

"oookay" I kicked a pebble and looked away.

"What you call my baby mama for?" Eyes squinted, his face never changed.

"To tell her I love her."

"To tell her you love her?" now he was looking at me like I was crazy.

"Yes, I called her on the way over here and told her I love her." I knew she was going to call and tell him, and I knew he was going to interrogate me about it. She always tried to make things out to be more than what they were.

"Weren't y'all just arguing with each other a few days ago?" He continued.

"Yes..."

"So why would you do that? Y'all got something going on I don't know about? You like girls now or something?" He stared at me.

How dare he??

"No, I did it because God told me to." I was disgusted at him. Not because I thought he was serious but because he entertained the thought enough to let it come out of his mouth.

"Yea, OK..." his hands in his pockets while trying to figure me out.

Honestly, I didn't really think God was straight out talking to me, but at the same time he had to be. It was like I didn't believe it but... I did. Here I was, gripped by an energy so powerful, it caused me to call my WORST enemy and confess love... It sure wasn't "My" idea! I couldn't explain what this feeling was, and even though I didn't understand it I loved it. I was in a new relationship and it exuded me. I glowed of it. It was all in my face, my smile, the way I spoke, and the stride in my step. Had I fallen in love with God in the first place, I wouldn't have been as broken as I was with Mook. But that's how God works. He allows you to see how bad it can get, so you appreciate how good it's supposed to be. This feeling I couldn't explain was joy, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

## Chapter 3

Rude Awakening

August 2011, I remember it like it happened last night. I feel asleep on the phone with a friend around 2:30am or so. Startled, I was awakened by the "beep" indicating our call had disconnected. Squinted eyes and blurry vision, I looked at the phone then went back to sleep. Around 3:30am I had a dream that I was in a car driving down a very dark road. There was a very dim light source, similar to that of a helicopter above my car, but no street lights. My view started out behind the wheel as if I was driving, but then all of a sudden I was divorced of my body drifting through the roof, looking at my car drive down the street. Out of the darkness, some strange looking beings jumped on top of my car. I ended up back inside my body, behind the wheel right before a car hit me, the next I knew, I was fully awake, lying on my back, looking at this... energy-type, translucent depiction of a woman.

What I'd always found especially peculiar was the overwhelming sense that this being was "supposed to be" my mother. As I'm looking at this thing that's only about 10ft above me, I'm hearing a female voice speaking to me in tongues. Unlike my previous experiences, I wasn't afraid at first. What invoked my fear was the fact that this thing was 10-15 feet above me but the voice was directly in my ear as if what I was looking at was kneeling right beside my bed. The disposition of the voice from the visual was so far off it scared the hell out of me, literally. This was when I realized my heart was beating 1000 miles per hour. No exaggeration, it felt as if I had run a million miles but I was rested immobile.

The off-put of the distance between the entity and the voice prompted me to say "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, demon get off of me." Immediately when I said it, the apparition vanished and I heard a deep, non-human, masculine voice come from the left corner of my room. It introduced itself "My name is _______ and I want you." To this day, the beings name is the only detail I can't recall. When it spoke, although it was obviously calm—its tone was so powerful, it was as if the cement shook. I have carpet in my bedroom... imagine that.

It wasn't until I plead the blood a second time, "I rebuke you in the name of JESUS! GET OFF OF ME!," that I realized my lips were not moving! My thoughts were speaking for me. I would've SWORN I spoke it but I didn't. The criminal was bold enough to repeat himself, verbatim "My Name is _________ and I Want YOU!!!!!" This time, he was furious! My house had collapsed on top of me and onto to the ground. That's how it sounded. I was terrified. With all I had left in me, I claimed victory in authority one last time "I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS, GET OFF OF ME NOW!!" All of a sudden everything stopped.

Immediately I sat up and put my hand over my chest, nothing... I could barely feel my heart beat though it was RACING not even 3 seconds before. Grateful to be breathing again, I grabbed my phone and raced across the hallway to the bathroom. It was only about 5ft adjacent to my bedroom. I sat on the toilet and dialed my friend that I'd fallen asleep on the phone with. When he answered, I tried my best to sound normal but he sensed something was wrong and called me out on it.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing..." Of course I told him that in fear he would think I was a nut crack.

But I begged "Just please don't let me go back to sleep."

"But why? What's wrong? You sound like you've seen a ghost or something." He inquired.

"Yea... something like that, but not exactly..." Shaking, I tried to play calm.

"Well if you know those types of things exist, why are you afraid of them?"

Around this time, I had opened the bathroom door and already begun sneaking down the stairs. My eyes never left my room. I just KNEW that whatever was in there was coming out eventually to get me.

Overflowing with adrenalin, I'd made it safely down stairs and sat on the couch to answer his question.

"...It's not that, it's the fact that I just literally talked to a dem-..."

I couldn't even finish my sentence, I had burst into tears. What I attempted to say was; "I just talked to a demon less than 60 seconds ago in my room." But I had been holding my tears, and although I knew what happened, it hadn't sunk in until I attempted to say the word Demon. Almost as if I didn't believe it until I said it.

Despite my efforts to keep quiet, I woke my grandmother up. She came down the hall from her room, and cut the light on.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I mumbled as best I could to my friend "I'll call you back." I burst into tears again.

She walked me down the hall right in front of her room, stood in front of me and held me by my shoulders "Calm down, what happened?"

After almost hyperventilating, I pulled myself together as best I could and explained to her,

"I just talked to a demon in my room."

The look on her face told it all. I knew she thought I was crazy. I felt crazy telling her. But I couldn't think of a rational lie.

She asked "How do you know?"

I wiped my tears "It tried to manifest itself as mommy and I knew it wasn't her. I knew... it wasn't her!"

"Do you want to go to work with me?"

I nodded and cried "Yes."

My grandmother was a Registered Nurse at Henry Ford Hospital. All her life she worked hard to support herself, and she didn't miss a beat when she inherited my brother and I from my mom. She'd done everything she could for us after my mom passed. This time, I didn't think it was anything she could do for me, but at least it was worth a try.... I stood in her doorway thinking "I don't want to be another Emily Rose."

I was in high school when we watched the movie, "The Exorcism of Emily Rose." It was based on the true life story of Annelise Michel, A college student wrongfully diagnosed as schizophrenic, who died as a result of being possessed by demons. At the time, I didn't know what to believe. In order for me to believe demons existed, I had to believe God existed, and I had never seen either one of them. I didn't think things like that actually happened, especially since id never heard of it happening in real life. But I never doubted the fact that it could, I just couldn't say that as a fact because I was watching someone else's account, not my own personal experience... One of those 'see it to believe it' type things. I was a skeptic.

We made it to the hospital, the doctor came in, took some blood and urine samples, and requested my account of what happened. I confessed everything. I told her what I heard, I told her what I saw, and I told her everything that happened from the time I walked in the house that morning to the time I ended up in the examination room. She jotted some notes, left the room and returned.

"Well, you're blood work came back fine, urine samples normal. There were no drugs or alcohol in her system. I really don't know what to make of it. I would highly suggest you go speak to a family minister." She looked at my grandmother and I. My heart dropped. As soon as the word "minister" left her lips, I knew what that meant. My grandmother looked at me and said "Well, do you wanna go see Doc?" I nodded, yes.

I was sick to my stomach. I was confused, afraid, and ashamed all at the same time. But why me? If these were demons after me, why me? I had been doing so good in my faith, though I wasn't 100% sure about Jesus, I praised and prayed as if I was. I was an aspiring R&B singer with no history of drug or alcohol abuse. I had never been to jail nor had I ever committed a crime. I tried my best to do right at all times and when I fell short I repented. My brother, on the other hand, was the complete opposite of me. Why was this happening to me?? I would soon find out, and it all became so clear...

Doctor Betty Hall is a very beautiful, elegant, older woman. I'd never really spent a lot of time with her because majority of the time I was either watching her do Gods work in the pull-pit or trying to sneak a post-service hug from her amongst the many others who adored her. Never looking a day older than the last time I'd seen her, she sported the most beautiful texture of natural, pure white, short-cut hair... as if God molded a cloud and set it on top of her head. And although she was so graceful, her aura was so bold, it spilled over with the Holy Spirit. Whenever you saw Doc, you knew she was a woman of God.

She was different from any preacher I'd ever met – before and after her. Preacher's usually preached the "prosper gospel" to loosen the money up out of your pockets. But Doc? When she spoke, she ministered to the heart and soul of every living thing in hearing distance. Doc wasn't a preacher. She was a Minister of the Gospel, and whenever she would open her mouth to speak, whether it be in the pull-pit or the on the rough, Detroit streets she took to get there, I never felt like she was trying to sell me something. Until later on in life, I'd never felt closer to the spirit of God than I did when I would walk up to her, and she would open her arms and say "My baby...." She was just the lady I needed to talk to.

We left the hospital and went straight to her home. She invited us in with hugs. I hadn't seen her in years and was so glad but nervous at the same time. Doc and I sat on a couch right across from my grandmother and for the third time I had to tell this dreaded account. The whole time Doc sat there quietly, listening, with her elbow rested on her knee and her hand over her mouth as if she was analyzing everything I was saying. Once I finished, she sat there for about 6 seconds more, then turned to me and said "You're chosen." Other than her suggesting I mix some type of spirit-repellent oil in some water to sit in my room, and lighting some particular kind of candles, I can't recall anything else she said. I was still trying to grasp the "you're chosen" part. On our way home, I rode in the passenger seat thinking, "I don't want to be chosen... If this is what that means, I don't wanna be..." My life has literally been a living hell ever since.

## Chapter 4

Freak Accident

2012 was an interesting year for me. I hadn't slept in my room for a whole year and I refused to. The energy in my bedroom was so unsettling, I avoided going upstairs altogether, especially at night. Anything I needed out of there, whether it be clothes or a blanket for the night, I made sure I got it before dusk. And even still, I could never go in my room and leave my back turned to that corner, it just didn't feel safe. Like whatever had attacked me the year before had been sitting there invisible, watching me.

Never staying in my room longer than I needed to, I'd grab what I needed and get out immediately. I moved into the den and had been sleeping there ever since that night. To this day there is a dent in my grandmother's couch from me sitting and sleeping there. For some reason, I figured that this thing wouldn't follow me downstairs where all the noise was. I noticed that every time I was attacked, there was never any outside noise, music, TV or audio interference. So, I figured I'd have a better chance at avoiding another encounter by moving downs stairs where the TV was, and sleeping on my side as opposed to my back, where I felt the most powerless. Wrong again.

August rolled around for the second time and I was asleep on the couch, halfway on my side and my back and the same time. August 2nd, to be exact, and I woke up to the top of my body being taken over by a tingly feeling that crept its way down my body. Above the woman broadcasting the news on the TV, I could hear something growling at me. It sounded like an animal, but we had no pets in the house. It didn't sound like it was coming from above, below or around me, this thing was in my chest cavity. I didn't panic, nor did I open my eyes, I just listened.

Something told me to "Gain enough strength to jerk your arm and break the hold." So I did, and it worked. I sat up, looked at the TV, looked at the time and it was about 6-something in the morning. I was shocked at how early in the morning it was and that the sky was relatively bright. Usually it would happen during the creepy hours of the morning when its pitch black outside. Was I possessed? Was this a demon inside of me? Whatever it was, it was surely angry. I'd never had anything like that happen to me before. I rubbed my eyes, laid back down and went back to sleep.

I'd spoken to my auntie Shell not long after I had woke up and she was telling me about some altercation she'd gotten into. I was upset about the fact that she hadn't called me sooner, but it didn't stop me from getting dressed and heading over there. Just as I was getting ready, my dad called. I hadn't spoken to him for at least 3 weeks to a month before and he asked the classic question,

"What you doing?"

"Nothing, getting ready to go over auntie shell house and make sure everything alright over there."

"Why? What's going on over there?"

I told him about the fight she'd gotten into, that she had just told me about.

He warned, "I knew the spirit told me to call you for a reason. I didn't know nothing about that but something told me to pick up the phone and call you so I went with my first mind and I called. "What happened over there?" He asked.

"I don't know, that's why I'm going over there."

"Now listen, don't you go over there getting yourself into something that ain't got nothing to do with you. Your auntie is grown, she can handle herself."

"Alright daddy."

I was listening, but I really didn't want to hear it. Though he warned me not to, I was going over there anyway. When you mess with my family, you mess with me. That's just how I was. But, I continued to listen.

"Alright now. Everybody has angels, and we know you have angels watching over you, but don't make them work overtime." My dad always had a way with making things resonate with you. Though I didn't always understand him, he was clever with his words, and they made a lot of sense. For instance, when I was younger, he would always give me these pep-talks, and at the end of each one, he would remind me, "Obedience is greater than sacrifice." I never understood what it meant, but I'd act like I did and just say OK, like I did this last time.

"OK dad." I chuckled.

"Alright, I love you."

"I love you too."

"Alright, talk to you later."

"OK bye-bye"

"Bye-bye"

I hung up the phone and headed to auntie shell house. I was on the lodge freeway when I heard a voice say "You know you shouldn't be going over there." And then another voice agreed saying "I really shouldn't be going over there, but oh well." The second voice was most definitely me, but I don't know who the first one was and I wasn't about to turn around now. I was halfway there. When I arrived, she told me all the details and I was mad I wasn't there when it happened.

My auntie lived in a duplex at the corner of seven mile and Greenfield. She was in the process of moving at the time so we hoped in the U-Haul and headed around the corner to run an errand. On the way back my aunt dropped me off at the lot across the street where I parked my car. She followed directly behind me as we headed back to the house. I pulled up towards the light in the turning lane, as I waited for all the cars to pass on the opposite side of Vassar, so I could make the left turn.

"Watch out for those cars Feeshaboo," My aunt stuck her head out the window from the U-Haul Behind me.

"I know Auntie." I looked back and smiled.

As soon as the last car passed, I calmly made a left turn, and parked on the right side of the street, about 5feet away from the corner. My aunt was stuck at the red light as I turned the car off and gathered my things. I looked out the side view mirror and opened the door to step out.

As soon as I stood up out of the car, "BOOOOM!" A Ford F1-50 Slams into my driver door from behind me. I closed my eyes as my window glass shattered and flew everywhere. By the grace of God I ended up back in my driver's seat, and when I opened my eyes glass was everywhere. While brushing glass particles off of me I watched the Ford truck roll down the street. I thought the person was going to stop and bag up until I saw him bend the corner to keep going.

I don't even know if the light turned green before I saw my aunt fly down the street to chase the guy. I was stunned when I found out she had to stop him and follow him back to where I was. After we took down all of his information he parted ways with us. I was surprised that I wasn't shaken up and crying like I usually would be. I honestly thought everything was fine until we all started speaking about what happened and I felt tiny pieces of glass sliding in between my teeth and down my throat.

I sat on the couch to settle myself while blinking and looking around hoping it was glass particles I was feeling moving around in my eye. By this time my aunt was out in the car crying about the accident. I pulled the bottom of my eye-cuff down and rolled a piece of debris out only to find that it was, indeed, glass. Initially, I saw no need to go to the hospital but seeing as though I already had semi-poor vision and possibly glass particles in my stomach, I had my aunt call for an ambulance.

When I got to the emergency room they requested to have a tube inserted into my eye to drain any remaining particles out. Unfortunately I suffered a little damage to my right retina, but gratefully not enough to dramatically impair my vision. I was paranoid after the doctor told me there was nothing they could really do for the glass I had swallowed and that I needed to pay close attention my abdominal area. August 2nd... I'll never forget that day, not only because I posted about it on Facebook the next morning, but because I should've died that day, and only by the grace of God I was spared.

## Chapter 5

The Price of Fame

The event I had been practicing 3 months for was a success! February 10, 2014 was my debut concert and the turnout was amazing. Although I had little money and no investments, I'd done everything from booking the venue, photo shoots, pressing up fliers, booking a DJ, a live band, and dancers that I didn't even get to perform with. If I had nothing else at all, I had talent and ambition. Singing since the age of three and writing songs since the age of five, I had big dreams and I would never let anything stop me. High off of life and the response from the crowd, I was ready for the world and everything that came with it... or so I thought.

After my debut concert people were calling and messaging me left and right on social media to perform everywhere. From local lounges to one of the biggest malls in the state, people wanted to see me perform and I loved it. Finally! I was getting a break to expand my name and my brand and it was all happening so fast. At one point I had four shows in one month and I could barely keep up, but I made every effort to.

By the end of February I had been invited to open up for Pretty Ricky. They weren't hot at the time, but they were well respected for the name they made in music, and anybody who was anybody knew who they were in my hometown. I was introduced to them by a guy named John Drama. Though he wasn't rude or disrespectful, my first time meeting him wasn't exactly pleasant. His demeanor spoke more than he did, and of all the things he rambled, "I don't believe in God" stuck out like a splinter in my foot. I'd heard about the demonic activity that took place in the music industry, but none of that stuff I could validate. So, I wasn't surprised at what he said, I just couldn't believe he'd said it.

The day had passed, I'd opened for the group, and it too was a success. Blue and Spectacular were a lot shorter than I expected but, super cool nonetheless. I was finally on my way to the top. They'd spent the weekend in the city making appearances and things of the sort, one of which was a performance they had at a spot near my house called the Millennium.

My friend and I went to show support. Back and forth from the VIP section to the stage, I found myself back in VIP conversing with one of the group members. It wasn't our first time speaking off stage. In fact, we had exchanged numbers a couple days before. Despite the business relationship I was trying to build, his intentions were altogether somewhere else. Although I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt, he confirmed it that night. He had just gotten off stage and my attention was somewhere else when he called me over to him.

"Come here." He looked at me.

I walked over to him "What's up?"

The conversation was every bit of normal until out of the blue he offered.

"I want to have sex with you."

I was stunned. Shocked, appalled, disgusted, insulted and heartbroken, I held it together.

"Excuse me?" I frowned.

"I want to have sex with you." Serious as a heart attack, he leaned against the table and repeated himself.

"That's not gonna happen." I stood there with my dignity intact.

He shrugged "I'm trying help you out... you gotta want to help yourself."

Was this a joke? I'd asked him the night I opened for them if he would listen to my music. He fed me some line about how they're not allowed to listen to "solicited music." I bought it because I didn't know how the industry worked in that regard, either way I respected his decision. I held it together long enough to say, "Wow, well thanks anyway." I walked away.

Not even a half hour passed before he moved on to my friend, Andrea, and I was too done with the situation. Never had I been propositioned with sex in order to further my career. Despite the fact that I walked away with my pride and dignity, I felt low. Was this what the music industry is about? Was this the reason why it's so hard to get noticed? the fact that you have to compromise your morality just to get people to even listen? I was hurt. But I swallowed my pride and kept it moving. I would be alright.

## Chapter 6

Revelation or Confirmation?

By the end of June, the peak of my music high was over. I had been up and down with performances, in between management and overall confused about what to do and where to go. It wasn't long before I thought of a plan though, and I would stop a nothing to see it through. In the midst of all the confusion, I found myself in that weird place with my faith again. Uncertainty was a destination I ran into quite frequently, no matter what direction I went and I was tired of it. It was early July now. Ashamed to say the least, frustrated and disappointed in myself, I fell to my knees and prayed the most sincere prayer I'd ever prayed in my whole 21years of living:

"Lord,

I come to you as humbly as I know how,

Just to say thank you for everything that you've

done, everything you haven't done, everything you will

do and everything you won't do. Father I need your help. I

don't know what to believe. I don't know if Jesus is really your

son or not.... I got Christians telling me he is and other people

telling me he isn't. Please speak to me, and let me know that is you

speaking to me lord. I don't want to go to hell for false Idol worship. I

just want to live my dream, live a life that is pleasing in your sight

and uplift and encourage your people at the same time. Please

forgive me for my sins; those that I know and those I

don't know of. In your son, Jesus, name I pray.

Amen."

I wiped the tears from my face and prepared for bed... or, couch. I made sure to put on one of my favorite songs, "Good and Bad" by J. Moss, before I laid down. It was my "Go to" song whenever I felt this way. It reminded me that no matter what I believed, no matter what I'd been through or what I'd done, God loved me through the good and the bad. It healed those pains that only prayer and music could heal, and I feel asleep to it many nights. I closed my eyes, tears steady falling, and went to sleep.

Three weeks later, give or take a few days, it was July and I was up and excited about my newest endeavor, R.U.D.E. Girl Gang. RGG was an all-female, world-wide promo team I' cultivated in lieu of the financial support I'd been struggling to get. Within one month we had 2 girls in 20 different states. Emails wouldn't stop coming from new applicants and I considered myself blessed.

I ended up calling my best friend at the time to tell him the good news. I'd told him that if happen to make it to the top before he did, I'd bring him with me. I'd finally found a way to do it! RGG was my heart, my family and my joy. I loved them as if I'd known them forever. They were the functional family I'd never had. I had FINALY found a way to accomplish my dreams without having to sell my soul to do it, and I couldn't wait to tell Chris how much of a success it was.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Best friend!!" I screamed in excitement.

"What's up?" he laughed.

I started rambling about how fast RGG was taking off and how it wouldn't just benefit he and I, but everybody involved. He got excited, and in the middle of the conversation we ended up talking about how unrealistic the music industry is.

I remember telling him, "That's why Fantasia doesn't get as much credit as she deserves, because whether she's singing gospel or R&B, that girl has a relationship with God and you can see it in her performance. They don't like that." He asked me to elaborate and so I did, but this is where things started getting weird. Somehow, we went from that part of the conversation to talking about the conscience. What was particularly weird to me was the fact that I was explaining things to him, that I hadn't read or learned myself.

"People don't realize when God is talking to them because he's been doing it ever since they were born, and when he does, it's in their head but, it sounds like their own voice... so it's easily dismissive and often goes unnoticed." I was pacing the living room floor. I started noticing a change in my demeanor. All of a sudden I had the mannerism of a minister and I went from speaking to preaching, almost. It wasn't like me. I'd begun speaking with so much authority that my voice took on that of a masculine tone, but I ignored it so I could get to the point of the conversation.

Once I got done speaking, by best friend uttered, "Whoa..."

"What?" I held the phone.

"I just blanked out for like, the past two minutes."

I was disappointed, "You mean to tell me you weren't listening to me?"

He justified, "No, no, no. Remember when you said that when God speaks to us, it sounds like our own voice?"

I said "Yea..."

He said "For the last two minutes I heard you talking but, it wasn't 'you' talking, it sounded like me." At this point I was disappointed in him. Here I was being serious and he was making a joke of me.

I dismissed him. "Whatever Chris."

He pleaded "No, I'm serious!"

I thought he was pulling my leg, so I shrugged my shoulders and left it alone. "I guess." Honestly, I didn't know if he was serious or not. I didn't believe him. Mainly cause I didn't know how to read him. Heck, he could've been telling the truth, I just didn't believe him.

He broke the awkward silence "Oh my God..."

"What?" still walking around the living room.

"I just got a head ache out of nowhere."

"Really? Are you OK?" I thought it was major. I'd had a few before, and they were anything to play with.

"Nah, it don't hurt, it's just there."

"Hmm, well I hope u feel better." As soon as I replied to him, I got a head ache, and I heard a faint voice in my mind say "Confirmation." I started freaking out.

Waving my arm out in front of me I whaled, "No, no no no Chris, wait?!"

"What?" He was confused.

I said "No, no, no Chris, I don't think you understand what's going on here."

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing, nothing. Just wait, don't say nothing. I'm gonna count to three and I want you to say what side of your head the head ache is on, are you ready?" My heart was pounding.

He said, "Yea."

I counted "1...2...3..." ....we both answered "Left."

I bent over belting as loud as I could, "Oh my GOD! Oh my GOD! Thank you! Thank you!!" Over and over I repeated and cried in utter disbelief and joy. I couldn't believe what had happened... what WAS happening! Periodically I would stop in the middle of my screams to apologize to Chris for screaming in his ear, but I couldn't control it. As soon as I realized I was witnessing a revelation and a confirmation at the same time, I got that weird tingly feeling all throughout my body again. But this time, it was good. It was almost like that one time I caught the Holy Ghost in church, but magnified by 1000. If I had never experienced the power of the Holy Spirit before, I was 100% sure this was it!

The spirit was so thick and present around me, that I went from pacing the living room floor to walking around the entire first floor of the house to get away from it. Not that I was scared, it was just everywhere, and intense too! It literally felt as if someone had all the gravity in the universe stored in a huge jar, and then let it loose in my house. But it didn't hold me down, it just... hugged me... sort of. This wasn't a presence just lingered in a room that I could leave behind, it was everywhere! Inside of me and around me. Everywhere I went it was. Although it was an unimaginably intense, unexplainable, good feeling, I wasn't familiar with it. It definitely shook me up a bit. It didn't scare me, and I wasn't fearful... I was just, startled.

I remember something telling me to go in the bathroom and look into my eyes, and once I got there, I started to look but I was afraid to. Afraid that I might actually see... God. I was certain that he was in the atmosphere, but I wasn't so sure that I wanted to see him just yet. Hi presence was so thick I thought he was about to jump out of the mirror! I was tripping. All the while, Chris is still on the phone. After about 4 minutes of freaking out I went and laid myself down because the feeling was so overwhelming I got dizzy. Chris is on the other end trying to find out what's going on.

"Are you OK?? Camille, what's going on?"

"I'm fine Chris, I'm fine. I just can't believe what's happeni- ...THANK YOU!!" I was blurting out praises mid-conversation because I was in a state of shock, but fully conscious and aware of what was going on. You would've thought I had Tourette Syndrome if you were a fly on the wall. As I laid there, the roof of my mouth suddenly began to tingle. From there, it went to my tongue, my whole mouth was tingling. And then, it happened....

"Chris, God told me to tell you that he knows I have a bad memory so you have to remember what he is about to say." I paused and continued, "He said that when my tongue starts tingling, that means he is in full control of my mouth and I don't have to worry about the things that I say." I cried like a baby. At that very moment I was literally a channel between God and Chris. He replied "OK."

Told him I loved him and I would call him back so I could recuperate. It was like, out of nowhere, all these words started bombarding my mind and I had to get it out. I had butterflies in my heart and my hands were shaky. The same spirit that had told me to tell my best friend those things, told me to go over my other best friend, Canitra, house. Honestly, I was in no condition to be driving anywhere. I was too jittery. I was excited, dazed and spaced out and nervous, but despite my condition I felt the urge to be obedient to the spirit, so I called my best friend.

I called her trying to explain what happened and it came out all wrong. I was an emotional mess. I was weeping tears of joy and could barely talk through them.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Canitra-aaaaa!!!!!" I cried her name as if I'd just seen Jesus come out of the sky.

"Hello?.... Camille...? Camille what's wrong?!"

I sobbed and wept trying as best as I could to stop so that I could answer her, but I couldn't. She continued... "Was is Diljon?!"

"Nooo..." I cried, whipping my tears trying to catch my breath and my mind.

"Well what's the matter? What happened??" she asked.

"God Just spoke to me-eeeee" I cried out like a baby.

"What?" she asked?

"God just spoke to me Canitra! He's real! ...I didn't think it could happened but it did! It just happened...!!" I continued to cry and wipe my tears. The interesting thing is that I was probably just as shocked if not more than she was about what I was telling her. But I had to.

"Just come over here Camille" she invited me.

"You at home?" I sobbed.

"Yea I'm at home just come over here."

"OK, I'm on my way." I cried.

"OK, I love you, and be careful." She warned.

"OK. Love you too, see you in a minute."

I hoped up, got dressed and headed for the car. I don't even think I was matching, I just threw on something decent so I could leave the house. Eyes focused, conscience-alert, and my hands ten-and-two, I was on my way to see my best friend; my sister, the one who understood me most. I loved her like she was my blood. She was a beautiful God-fearing woman seeking her purpose, who went to church and bible study every week; I just knew she would be happy to hear what happened. Besides, who else could I tell this without them thinking I was crazy? She knew about the demons Id been battling in my sleep. She knew about my secrets of being molested multiple times. She was the first and only person Id confessed to, that I struggled with masturbation at a young age. Not to mention she had shared similar stories of her own experiences with so-called "Sleep paralysis" and strange entities appearing to her. She was the only person in the world I really trusted other than my grandmother and my father, and one of the only people in the world that I would ever tell what I was about to tell her.

## Chapter 7

Wake Up Call

When I got to her house, we greeted each other and I was a rambling mess of tears. I was still in awe that God had revealed himself to me. I failed miserably as I attempted to tell her what happened. Talking through the tears was hard enough, not to mention trying to get out everything the spirit was telling me to tell her. I definitely said it all but, whether not she understood it is another story. I remember us sitting in her backyard crying together as I spilled it all out. Looking back, I'm not sure why she was crying but, my emotions were that of everything good and puzzling.

I briefly summarized what happened the best I could and I ended up staying the night with her. Everything was weird. It was like In an instant Id found myself in a dual-reality of the physical and spiritual. My mind was everywhere. Nearly the whole night, I laid awake, analyzing the whole ordeal trying to figure it out. But, you can't figure God out.

"I want you to do a video" I laid down as God faintly whispered to me with a vision of me sitting in front of a camera talking. Tired, confused and restless, I didn't ask any questions, but I assumed he wanted it done asap and that he wanted me to tell everything I'd just told Canitra. The problem with that was; outside of the fact that I was completely uncomfortable with it, I had just taken my hair down and it was a complete mess. I literally looked like a cabbage patch kid. I didn't want to think about it all. My eyes got heavy and I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning was awkward at best. Not many words spoken or much eye contact. I tried my best to stay out the way and in the background. As bad as I didn't want to, I ignored all the awkwardness of the situation to ask Canitra if she would do my hair for the video.

"You want your hair done?" she stood about 3 steps down from me on the staircase leading to her room.

"No, I need it done, he wants me to do a video about what happened." Unenthused, I looked her in her eyes.

"How you want it done?"

"Nothing fancy, just something so I can look decent and get it over with."

She scratched her head and leaned against the banister while her eyes wondered.

"What?" I asked.

Looking around still, she answered, "I don't know... I just don't feel right..."

"Feel right about what?" I mumbled. I already knew.

"Like... this whole thing" She continued scratching her head and looking around.

I paused briefly and said "...I know this whole thing is weird, honestly I don't really understand it either. But if you think I'm crazy I understand. Just tell me you think I'm crazy." She didn't have to say much, her face and body language told it all,

"No, it's not that I think you're crazy, I just... I don't know what to think, plus I kinda have a lot on my plate right now."

In my mind, that was her nice way of saying; You freaked me out, I don't know if I want to be your friend anymore, but I held my grits together, when I left her house that day, my life was changed forever. I knew I sounded like a weirdo, but she was the last person that I thought would agree with me. Nothing could have prepared me for this, but I was ready. Had I not been, it wouldn't be happening, right?

## Chapter 8

Divine Intervention

When I got back home that day from Canitra's, I was dazed and spaced out to describe it best. I sat on the couch and mentally replayed everything. It had been a whole day since the encounter and I still couldn't believe what had happened. Every now and then I'd say "God?" Just to see if he was still there. And I'd hear the calmest tone promptly respond "Yes?" ...It was CRAZY! Or was I crazy? But I couldn't be... There was nothing wrong with me up until this point... I was so shy, timid and meek, to say the least, because God was actually RESPONDING to me and I could HEAR him! But... filthy and dirty I was, in my ways.... I was a sinner... I didn't think God spoke to sinners!

I sat there and asked,

"But, why? Why me? I'm not worthy." I asked, looking around the din.

He responded, "Because you passed the tests to get this far."

Instantly, a series of flash backs played in my mind of almost all the times id been knowingly & unknowingly temped and tried by the devil... yet, I walked away;

When my mother died he said, "You didn't turn away from me."

When that demon held me down he said, "Although you didn't believed in me fully you called on me and gave me a chance to show up."

I smiled and started to think to myself "The faith—..."

And he finished "—...of a mustard seed."

A tear slid down my face and the flashbacks continued;

When I confessed to my ex fiancé that I would die for God he said, "I heard you."

And last but not least he said, "You've prayed a lot throughout your life and I have heard, but when you prayed your most sincere prayer, although you've lived your whole life to become a singer, you prayed to hear from me instead of a record deal and material things. I didn't reveal myself to you before because you were being tested, you've passed the tests."

At that moment I thought to myself, "The teacher is always silent during the test." It was a saying I'd heard a while back, but I never applied to God but I understood now. He wasn't ignoring me, he was testing me. There was a very loud silence accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to cry. I just cried. In my mind, despite all the good I've ever done in life, I was still a filthy rag compared to the lord. As my tears rolled off my chin I began to weep harder because here I was; a sinner, I'd had two abortions previously, I had stolen in my childhood, lied, fornicated and cheated at least once in my past, I was imperfect in my ways and uncertain about religion on top of all of that. But, the lord saw fit to touch me and reveal his presence.

Before I could even ask he was answering questions I always wanted answers to. Of course my first question was "Is hell real?" The two things I feared most in life were; contracting HIV and dying of AIDS like my mom did, and going to hell. He spoke and said "Yes, but hell is not a burning lake of fire, it is earth. Life is a test, and when your physical body dies, if you've lived a life of righteousness your soul passes to the next realm. If you live a life of wickedness you are cast back to earth and given a new vessel to take the test all over again. Only the physical body can feel pain. You are not a physical being. You are a metaphysical energy being, created in my image, inhabiting a physical body. How can I be a forgiving God if I allow to burn for eternity? I am the forgiving God I say I am."

Never in 21 years had life made so much sense to me. All I could do was put my face in my hands and cry thinking,

"...But I'm a sinner."

He said, "You we're my child first."

I was floored. I was hearing from my father, my heavenly father. If you could see it happening, you would've seen me sitting on the couch staring into space, as if I was day dreaming. There would be a whole in the roof right above my head, and you'd see him pouring information into me like water. He went on answering questions about death, life after death, blessings and so on. I couldn't believe I was talking to the creator himself. But then again I had to because it was really happening.

He would be talking to me for only 5 minutes, if that, but by the time he was through, I had hundreds of years worth of information; things that theologians, skeptics, bible critics, paranormal research investigators, scientists and atheists 3x my age were still trying to figure out. It was amazing! I didn't even tell my grandma this time. I kept this gift all to myself. In the blink of an eye I'd gone from a regular, 21 year old city girl to a mini spiritual-Einstein. He called it "Enlightenment." For he is the light and he lives in us... "In-Lighten-Meant."

## Chapter 9

Too Much Power

After about a half hour of exchanging dialogue, God began to tell me about how RGG was a part of his plan for my life, long before I was born; which explains why it took off as fast as it did. RGG was predestined for me, and I was beginning to walk in my purpose. He showed me a vision of myself being interviewed about what had been happening and said "You are going to do a video." He spoke and projected images of me sitting in front of a camera talking. He also projected images of me standing in front of large groups of people speaking on my experiences with supernatural entities in the physical realm in relation to my music.

According to him it was imperative that document everything I possibly could from that day forward. He warned that before I told anything, I would have to tell all my secrets first, because if I didn't, people would try to sabotage my message. In his words; "You need to tell your secrets because people need to know that I use people just like you. If you don't, they will, and it will potentially hurt you." With that, he told me to write everything I could down, including his warnings, as it would serve as proof that I was foreseeing a series of future events that I would soon take place.

I dreaded the thought of getting in front of a camera confessing these things. Not only did he want me to talk about how himself and demons were talking to me (which sounded crazy enough for anyone to throw me in a nut house), but he really wanted me to stand in front of a bunch of people I didn't know and tell all of my deepest darkest secrets... He wanted me to tell about how I was molested by at least 5 different people in my childhood, how I was exposed to the cold sore virus before I even made it to middle school, and likely the worst of them all; how I'd had not one, but two abortions! I wasn't proud of any of these things! In all honestly they haunted me and no matter how hard I tried I could never forget. The thought of it all made me want to burst into tears out of humiliation. The first thing I thought about was my fans... then shook my head and thought, "They're going to think I'm crazy. I can't" He said, "The few fans you have are noting compared to the amount of people who share the very same experiences you have. Just trust me."

I could not BELIEVE... that I was finally hearing from the being that created me, and after waiting all these years for a response, he was basically telling me to throw my dreams, of 15 years, and my reputation away! While trying to bargain with him, I pleaded that the seminar would be enough to wake people up, that the angels and demons part was enough. But he was primarily insistent on the video and me exposing my secrets. He wanted me to sit in front of the same camera I sang in front of and tell all of this crazy stuff to the same people I had been entertaining for the past 6years. Distraught, I knew that if this video ever came out, not only would people would think I was blind-crazy, but the few-thousand fans Id worked so hard for would vanish and the music career Id been practically living for was as good as gone. I was sick in the stomach, and didn't even want to think about it. So I didn't.

He warned me that in this walk with him, I must remember that demons are negative, metaphysical, energy-beings who have the ability to manipulate electronics as well as manifest themselves through people and act through them. I made a mental note to email all documents to myself just in case my computer began to malfunction or the documents mysteriously disappeared. I'm glad I did cause believe it or not, that's exactly what happened. Every so often I would be typing and the screen would just go black, or it would freeze up and glitch. The interesting thing is that it never happened before then. How convenient?

"Be mindful," he said. "Strange men will attempt to befriend you with ill will and knowledge of your assignment."

In the projected images I spoke specifically about my experiences with supernatural entities in the physical realm. The fact that music is the language of the universe means that I would be a major threat to "the world agenda" if I were to actually succeed in the music industry and speak out against the evil forces that manipulate and control the world with it. You can't worship me on a stage that belongs to the devil. After all, music is his territory and has been since what we know to be "the beginning." If I was gonna succeed at it, it would only be through the grace of God because I refused to sell my soul.

According to him it was imperative that document everything I possibly could from that day forward. He warned that before I told anything, I would have to tell all my secrets first, because if I didn't, people would try to sabotage my message. In his words; "You need to tell your secrets because people need to know that I use people just like you. If you don't, they will, and it will potentially hurt you." With that, he told me to write everything I could down, including his warnings, as it would serve as proof that I was foreseeing a series of future events that I would soon take place.

He said that friends would call me crazy, and doctors would diagnose me as psychotic. This is what I was most afraid of. "They cannot have a mentally 'sane' person speaking the truth that you possess to the masses. That's too powerful; people will begin to wake up, the truth will make them free, and the devil's empire will start to crumble from the ground up. The world has to place a stigma on you so that when people find out you are diagnosed as psychotic, everything you say becomes dismissible." He informed.

It made all the sense in the world to me. I was afraid at the very thought of going to the devil's trap-house because I knew it all along, I just didn't have any proof! The revelation made me think about a video I saw on YouTube with Dave Chappelle speaking out about how sick, demented and twisted the entertainment industry was. He'd said the very same thing. In his words, "The worst thing you can call a person is crazy, it's dismissive." I mean hey, the man didn't turn down $50 Million and run away to Africa for no reason.

God explained to me everything that could possibly happen as a result of walking with him and fulfilling his will; from losing friends and family to people trying to defame my character, even to the extreme of people actually trying to murder me like they did Jesus. To say it best, in his words "The devil has his angels just like I have mine. It is not like you to slay anyone, but if I command you, you must understand that I am the same God who gives life and takes it away. If I command you, and you hesitate, it may cost you your life. You must trust me."

Honestly it was a lot to take in. But I didn't let me fear of the future stop me from being obedient. In fact I was so excited I ran in my grandma's room and told her everything he'd said. Even the part about killing someone, not that I was proud of it.

"If God told me to kill you I would do it because I know he can bring you back to life! I know he wouldn't tell me to do that but if he did, I would." I sat on her bed with the laptop in my hand.

Now granted, my approach with that part of the conversation was all wrong. I honestly didn't realize how bad it sounded, but my intentions were good and my faith was at the highest level it had ever been. I was HEARING FROM THE CREATOR! But he warned also that everybody wouldn't understand or receive him the way I did, and boy did I find out the hard way.

The following day was dedicated to getting things in order for RGG. "The enemy doesn't like unity because he knows that in unity there is power. Be mindful...." I was on the couch, spaced out as I always was when God spoke.

"He is going to try and destroy RGG from the core." He warned, and two days later... It happened. RGG had taken off so fast that I could barely keep up with the progress, and within days it was practically demolished. A few demonic outbursts, and a couple traumatizing scenes later, RGG was done.

What was the odds of that happening right after the warning I'd received? Not only had I found a way to accomplish my dreams while helping others become successful, but I found a way that we could do it without selling our souls. RGG had become the functional family I never really had and the enemy was trying to destroy it. By the looks of things, he'd already done it.

I had been fighting spiritual warfare for so long, and as if God allowing me to hear his voice wasn't enough, that stunt with RGG was all the confirmation I needed; not only is the battle real but, it's not mine. I'd been wanting to tell them what was happening with me spiritually and why we were so... "Special" but, I was afraid. That was the last straw for me though, so I decided I was going to tell them the next day. I never got a chance to though, cause... well... you'll see...

## Chapter 10

Interdimensional Signs

A couple days later I woke up almost completely blind... I was used to waking up some mornings before my eyes did and having to rub the blurriness out but this was a whole new level of blurry. I always slept on the couch in my family room only about 4ft from the TV. I rubbed my eyes, sat up and looked at the time on the cable box but all I saw was blur everywhere. I rubbed again a little longer and focused in on the time but no change. I started to panic. I fell to my knees and pleaded "God please no. I don't know what's going on or why but I know that you are a healer and that you can fix it. Please don't let me go blind. Please?! In Jesus name, I pray."

Knowing God, he'd probably do something like this on purpose so I could learn to trust him and not what I see. "Get up, go to the bathroom and place a warm rag on your face." I hear him say. Immediately I stood and headed down the hall. I literally had to feel my way around the corners of my home because my sight was so impaired. I turned the hot water on first so it could warm. When I started for the cold water the lord said "Not too much, you need that water as warm as you can stand it." I felt around for a rag, placed it under the water, rang it out and placed it directly over my eyes. I opened them and looked in the mirror but I still couldn't see. "Do it again." the lord said, and I did. This time, I held the rag a little longer and the spirit said "Place the rag on your eyes." I opened my eyes and placed the rag on my eyeballs. "That's enough," the lord said.

Right before I removed the rag he told me to keep my eyes closed. I hung the rag and felt my way back to the family room to sit down. As I sat, the spirit said "Keep them closed." I held them tight and waited patiently. After a few seconds I heard "Open them." I opened them and still couldn't see, but I remained calm. "Close them." I closed them again and this time the spirit said "Say Jesus."

"Jesus." I obeyed.

"Open them." The spirit commanded.

I did it but, I still couldn't see.

"Close." He said, and I closed them.

"Say Jesus." The spirit commanded me once more.

"Jesus." I proclaimed with confidence.

"Now open them." He said.

I opened my eyes and almost jumped because the room was crystal clear as if nothing happened. I feel back on the couch with my hands stretched and said "Thank you" at least 50 times. I'd already known he was able, I just didn't know if he was going to actually do it! I immediately took to Facebook filled with joy and posted about it. Prayer works!

"Felicia, come here I have someone I want you to talk to." My grandma came in the family room. "OK, here I come. Give me one second." She went back in the kitchen where she spent most of her time. For the past few couple days I had been trying to tell her what was going on but she didn't understand. It got to the point where these entities were speaking directly through me to her and honestly, it made me feel like a weirdo. I eventually didn't want to talk about it at all, and as sick to my stomach as I was with this new outlook on doctors and their purpose on this earth, I went against my better judgment to talk to the lady anyway.

I saved the document I'd been writing in and right before I got up to go in the kitchen, my laptop started shaking as if an earthquake had hit or something but... there was no interfering motion. At this point, I thought I was going crazy, so I leaned in closer to stare at it and sure enough, it was moving, all by itself. I didn't know if it was about to blow up, start floating in mid-air or what. I started to touch it, but then I thought I might get zapped by lightening or something. I just left it there and went in the kitchen and never said anything about it.

## Chapter 11

The Conspiracy

"Oh, here she go right here. She just walked into the kitchen, hold on." My grandmother handed me the phone as I sat in the chair next to her. I sat my phone on the table and took the call.

"Hello?" I spoke, putting the phone to my ear.

"Hi, how are you?" the lady asked.

"I'm fine." I answered nonchalantly.

"Oh OK, well I just wanted to make sure you were OK. Your grandma says she's worried about you. Are you hearing voices in your head telling you to do things?" She asked.

"Only my conscience, and we all have one of those so... no." I replied. I knew what she meant by "Voices." I replied. She made small talk as I politely lead the conversation to an end and handed my grandmother the phone back.

I got up and headed back toward the family room.

"No, wait a minute." My grandmother covered the mouth piece of the phone and signaled me to sit and wait.

After she wrapped up the conversation, sat the phone down and asked,

"How come you won't go to the hospital?" She stared at me with her elbow rested on the table and her head on her hand.

"Because there is nothing wrong with me! I keep trying to tell you that God is doing something with me, but you don't get it! If you don't understand what's going what makes you think a doctor will?" I was growing irritant and restless of her.

Here we are discussing the very same things I'd been trying to get her to understand for days now. Even God himself had spoken to her though me just a day or two before and basically told her that it was important she grasped the seriousness of what was going on because it was his will that I go forward with his message and that when I did I would be persecuted and possibly even crucified for it. At one point during her conversation with him, she started crying because things were coming out of my mouth that I wasn't supposed to know.

"It is something wrong with you!" She insisted. "You haven't been sleeping, you haven't been eating, and you stay in the same spot all day every day in front of that computer, your hair looks like a wild child's...."

"That's because God is preparing me for something. I keep trying to tell you that too, but you won't listen!" I almost exploded. We had been going through this off and on for the past few days. One minute she understood, the next minute she didn't.

The only thing that remained consistent throughout her confusion was her desire for me to seek medical attention. And honestly I was terrified at the thought of stepping foot into a hospital. At this point I knew what the greater agenda was and I knew that they would most likely drug me up and diagnose me as a nut case, probably even kill me depending on the spirit working through the doctor. This battle wasn't my own, nor was it about me. It was about the most powerful tool on earth and the entities and powers of the universe that possess it; "Knowledge."

With my back towards the back door, I'm facing my grandmother at the kitchen table trying to convince her I don't need to go to the hospital. Right in the middle of my explanation, her boyfriend pops up out of nowhere walking in the door behind me.

"Hey hey hey what's going on?" He closed the door and leaned against the stove as if he already knew. There would have been absolutely nothing wrong this this except for the fact that he's a Mason. When I heard his stern baritone voice my heart almost literally dropped. It was as if when he came through the door, a thousand demons walked in with him and surrounded me. I had never felt such a strong negative presence in my life, I was terrified.

It wasn't long before they we're both trying to convince me to go to the doctor. Of course I expected this because God had forewarned me already, "The devil has his angels just like God has his." I was completely unaware that he was coming over and it literally felt like a set up to me. I tried my best to hide my fear and answer his questions but his aggressiveness made it much harder. He went from "Hey, what's going on" to "You need to go to the hospital." What threw me off was that he came off to be the more dominant one in the conspiracy. "Go put your clothes on, we're going to the hospital." Isaiah Said.

At this point it was clear that as far as they we're concerned, I didn't have a choice. I was going to the hospital whether I wanted to or not. "Alright, let me take a shower first." I played it cool, grabbed my phone and headed out the kitchen. "Whoa, whoa, where you going with your phone? Leave your phone here, you can't get in the shower with ya phone." He demanded. Before I could even turn around to look at him, my grandma, just like the puppet I speculated he was grooming her to be said "Yea pumpkin, leave your phone here."

Since when was it so illegal for people not to have their cell phones in the bathroom? Was he really that concerned about my phone possibly being water damaged? Or was he aware that what I was really going to call me sister and have her come get me? All signs were pointing toward the possibility that the dark forces he entertained in his masonic cult practices were giving him information about my purpose just as God had been giving me information about his. As far as I was concerned, the battle had begun, and I wasn't going down without a fight.

I managed to get out the kitchen, phone in hand, and made my way upstairs. About halfway up, I ran to my room, closed the door and dialed my play sister. My heart raced through my chest just as it did the night that demon spoke to me in 2011. I was in agony waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" She finally answered.

"Phoenix I'm at home, I need you to come get me ASAP." I spoke as fast as I could.

"Come get you? What's wrong? Is everything OK?"

"No its not, but I can't explain right now I need you to come get me!" I scurried to pack a bag.

"I'm at work right now." she explained.

"I will pay you your wage for today! Can you please just come get me?!" I tried to keep my voice down.

"...Alright I'm on my way."

"OK."

I eased downstairs, put my laptop and charger in my bag and eased out the front door as quietly as I could... Fail. Phone in my pocket, I walked about 20ft from my house before I heard my grandmother yell my name "Felicia!!" Fear struck my body and I started running as fast as I could to get away. I only made it to the corner gas station before I realized that they would spot me had I tried to run any further. I ran in the station and pleaded to a man that was paying for his gas to help me and get me away from the area. Long story short, we didn't get far. In fact we never left the gas station. My grandma and her boyfriend popped up and detained me until the cops showed up. Later that night I ended up at Kingswood Psychiatric Hospital and this would be the beginning of a much bigger reality.

## Chapter 12

Strange Meets Stranger

"Alright, what brings you in here today?" The doctor sat on his stool as he shuffled through papers. I briefly explained to him the phenomena that had been taking place the last few days, particularly detailed about the revelations and conversations I was receiving from God. He asked a few questions, sent the nurse in to draw my blood, Came back in and told me I'd be staying a few days.

I wasn't at all excited about it. There were all kinds of people in there with issues I knew little to nothing about. Some so sever, that even though I was aware of the battle, it scared me; and I was supposed to be the "Crazy" one. Compared to them I was perfectly sane. One girl would act out so bad that she periodically had to be restrained by 3 or more nurses, strapped down to a bed and injected with God knows what. It was terrifying. I could hardly sleep.

I was so afraid to go to bed one night, I prayed and asked God to cover and protect me. I shared a room with a girl who was sort of strange. She would laugh out of the blue then stop and stare at what appeared to be nothing, completely emotionless. I laid down, closed my eyes and said "Father please protect and cover me as I sleep. Please don't allow any spirits that may be working through these people to harm me in any way...." Before I could finish the prayer I heard a soft sweet voice say "We have it under control." We? We who? I was puzzled... but I was so emotionally drained I didn't want to think about it. I just closed my eyes and drifted to sleep....

I was startled when I woke up in the middle of the night that night and saw her sitting at the foot of her bed just staring at me. The fact that it was almost pitch black in the room made it that much creepier with the aid that she never took her eyes off of me she just stared... Was she plotting something? I didn't care to stick around and find out. I politely got up, took my blanket and pillow in the community room and slept there for the remainder of the night. The chairs were cold and uncomfortable to say the least, but they would have to do because I was not going back in that room with her.

In between socializing with the other patients and attending social groups I spent most of my days trying to grasp the dynamic of what was happening. I looked forward to getting on Facebook during library group daily because the ward was the closest to jail I had ever been and Facebook was my only escape to the outside world. One thing about being an entertainer is that people always want to know what's going on, even if they won't understand it at the time. But I would post to Facebook every chance I could to let everyone know that despite my circumstance I was OK.

One day I got on Facebook and to my surprise I had a message from Moina Tucker. Moina is the mother of one of my former guy friends; a very pleasant woman and a prophetess as well. I opened the Facebook message and it read;

"Understand that what you are experiencing is spiritual warfare!!! But don't give the enemy any victory your prophetic gift is really sensitive and when you are not use to seeing and hearing it can be extremely overwhelming and can make you feel like you are going crazy!! That's when you gotta pray and seek Gods face and get in a church that will help cultivate your gifts!! Love you and will talk to you soon!!"

"Prophetic gift?" What was she talking about? ...Me? A prophet?? I didn't know exactly what she meant by this but I intended to find out. And as sick as I was of being there, I followed the group back up to the ward with joy in my heart because FINALLY someone understood what I was going through! For the first time since I'd been there I went to sleep with something to look forward to....

## Chapter 13

Angels in Disguise

"Felicia! It's time to wake up. Breakfast..." I was awakened by one of the nurses to line up for breakfast as I was every morning. Call me a fat chick but, other than Library group that was really all I looked forward to everyday; food and Facebook. "Okaaay!" I yelled, rolled over and closed my eyes for a few more seconds of sleep. I eventually got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth and lined up with the rest of the patients.

After breakfast we all waited in the community room until our next social group started. This particular day was visitor's day and I couldn't WAIT! When I saw my aunt and grandma walk through the doors of the community room my eyes lit up as usual. "Hey Nana! Hey auntie Gloria!" I welcomed them with open arms eager to tell them all the insight God had been giving since I'd been there. I would read the bible often to seek answers and past time away, and when they visited me I would share with them the things God would reveal to me about the passages.

As I was talking to them when out the corner of my eyes I saw two dogs prance in the room followed by two ladies holding each on an individual leash. One was black and brown and the other was a light golden color. "Oh my gosh!" I stopped mid-sentence with my eyes glued to the dogs as the ladies unleashed them. I had no idea that we were having pet visitors that day and I was ESTATIC about it! I always loved animals ever since I was a child and when I went to college I'd studied biology to become a vet tech. "Oh wow look at the doggies." My grandmother gazed.

Once they were off the leash one of the girls closest to the door called the black one over to her while the lighter dog walked all the way around the couch to the far side of the room where we were and sat right in front of my feet.

"Awe." I smiled and started petting him.

"Wow, she must really like you. She came straight over here to ya." The lady who walked her in said.

"Yea she came right over and sat right next to you." My auntie said.

"Oh it's a girl?" I laughed.

"Yea, she's a girl." The lady smiled.

I looked up at her and asked, "What's her name?"

"Oliver." The lady answered.

The biggest smile I could imagine found my face and just stayed there. I started to say something to my aunt and grandma about it but I didn't. They already thought I was crazy and I thought to myself I might have been taking it a little overboard with this one. Besides, I didn't want to stay in there any longer than I had to so I just kept my mouth closed and smiled. It wasn't long before I was released to go home although it felt like forever. The fact that they released me as bipolar fueled a whole new level of disgust for the system, but I didn't let it get to me too much, I kind of knew it would happen.

We weren't allowed to have our cell phones in the hospital so as soon as I got home I called everybody and Moina was the first person I called. "Hey Moina! It's Camille, I just got home from the hospital and I'm calling at your request. Please give me a call back as soon as you get a chance. My number is 313-...." I spoke to her voice mail in hopes that she would call back sooner than later and sure enough, she did.

"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"Hi, this is Moina."

"Hi Moina! How are you?" I was so excited so hear from her.

"...I'm good! I saw on Facebook that you were in the hospital and I told myself 'uhn uhn, I know what's going on with her.' ...I'm going to Atlanta in a couple weeks to visit my spiritual mother and I think you should come. I'll be staying for about a week." She explained. I didn't care how long she was staying or why she was going I absolutely loved Atlanta and I definitely needed to get away from Detroit. "I would love to go with you!" I replied. We made small talk, she gave me a few details and told me she would call me with the arrangements. Before long, I was packing my bags and loading the car to head to Moina's house.

As excited as I was, I was emotionally and spiritually drained. I just rested my head on the window in the back seat and followed the clouds with my eyes the whole way there. After about two hours we finally arrived and she welcomed us with open arms. "Hi Moina!" I grinned as I walked up her porch with my bags in my hand. Once we got the bags situated in the house, Moina welcomed us to sit on the couch in the living room.

"So what's been going on?" Moina prompted my grandmother and I. I didn't really know where to start so my grandmother took the floor. I was busy playing with the beautiful Grey and white Siberian Husky they had walking around. In the mist of us playing I hear Moina say, "Maybe y'all should consider getting a dog." I figured her suggestion was in reference to the heightened spiritual senses of Dogs. Then again, that could've just been my mind being over active. I just smiled and agreed.

After a few moments, by grandma and aunt were walking out the door and Moina, myself and little Madison were right behind them headed for the road. I was too excited. Not even to get away from all the hell I had been going through but because I was finally around somebody that understood what I was going through. Besides, I'd been dying to meet Moina ever since I'd first spoken to her which was months before everything had hit the fan.

## Chapter 14

"They"

On our way to Georgia We got to know each other. Moina elaborated on her spiritual gifts and in the middle of doing so she said "You're a prophet." I'd been meaning to bring it up to her, all the strange events that had been happening, but honestly I was just too embarrassed and uncomfortable about it. I just listened. Before I even got a chance to ask her she said "That's why you're going through the things you're going through, now I know what my purpose is in your life. I'm here to help cultivate your gift." I didn't know what to say, I was too busy trying to grasp and rationalize it all.

Madison was between eight or nine I believe. She was always in the backseat in her own little world and most of the time I was either trying to figure things out or trying to keep Moina from thinking I was a weirdo. The task grew increasingly difficult by the day, especially when I found out that Madison had prophetic gifts as well. She was only about eight or nine but she was so clairvoyant, and as farfetched as it sounds, she would word things in a way that made you believe she was a 30 year old woman in a child's body. I was thrown off by that part alone, but I Moina had mentioned earlier that Madison had prophetic gifts too. I guess that would sort of explain her seemingly-old soul.

It took us about 13 hours or so to get to Waycross. Once we got to the hotel we unpacked and took a nap. It was nothing but crazy and more crazy from that point on. The days to follow were full of fun, movies food and shopping, but of course there were strange occurrences along the way. One day we were in the car on our way to get food when Moina stopped mid-conversation to nudge my arm and say,

"Look..." She whispered as she glanced back and forth between the road and the rear-view mirror.

"Huh?" I looked at her.

"Listen..." She nodded her head toward the back seat as if to say; Look at Madison. I looked in the back seat and saw Madison leaned against the left car door having a full blown conversation.

I squinted my eyes trying to hear what she was saying, but before I could get a good listen Moina looked through the rear view.

"Madison?"

"Huh?" She jumped.

"Who you back there talkin' to?" Her eyes between the road and the rear-view.

"Nobody."

"What did I tell you about that?"

"Huh?" Madison looked at me then up towards Moina.

"What did I tell you about that?" Moina repeated herself.

I was quiet, looking back and forth at the both of them. Madison cut the conversation short and said, "Ok."

I turned around and looked at Moina as she tilted her head and looked at me as if to say "See?" I can't even really explain what I was thinking, but at best, I just couldn't believe what was happening. All this time I thought imaginary friends were just figments of a lonely child's over-active imagination when, in reality, demons talk to children too. Them especially! I didn't know what was going to happen on this trip, but I did my best to prepare myself for it.

A couple days later we were riding the streets of Georgia to go and see Moina's brother and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to see him. Every now and then I would blurt out reassurances to her at the request of the spirit that was using me. "It's OK Moina, You're going to see him." Often I would say things, not really knowing anything about anything other than the fact that God was not a being that should lie. When he told me to speak I spoke. But I was being used by so many different spirits that she eventually grew tired and asked for a moment of silence. Frustrated to say the least, I grew tired between the spirit constantly telling me to speak and her telling me to be quiet. So much so that I had the nerve to ask God to stop talking to me so that I wouldn't get in trouble with Moina.

I was confused, frustrated and disappointed because honestly I didn't know if I was being obedient for listening to the spirit or disobedient for not listening to her. While on our way to see her brother I got so intolerant of myself in the situation that I almost started to cry, and right before the first tear fell Madison reached up from the back seat and tapped me on my shoulder. I looked back to see her left index finger in front of her mouth as she whispered while pointing towards the sky, "Shhhhh. They got it."

I knew exactly who she was talking about. But how did she know what was going on in my head? How did she know what I was hearing? And how did she know it was more than one?? She's only a kid! I hadn't told her anything pertaining to the voices I'd heard and Moina was adamant about me not mentioning it to her, so the fact that she said that to me completely blew my mind. I nodded my head in agreement, turned around and smiled. I didn't say anything else to Moina that night.

I woke up before both of them the next morning and started writing in my diary. It was a cheap black and white school style notebook that I'd kept from the hospital to jot down all the strange things that was happening. But this time I was writing about how afraid, confused and frustrated I was with these entities popping up in my dreams and causing me to look crazy. The Disney channel had been on from the night before and I paid it no attention at all, until right in the middle of me writing, it sounded as if someone turned the volume up out of nowhere and the commercial said "The truth is in the music." I knew it was a sign. As I looked towards the TV I heard a voice say "You are living in the time of repeat." And once my eyes actually met the TV I saw the Disney logo rapidly flipping backwards with the word "Replay" under it. I couldn't believe it. My initial thought was "Great, the TV's talking to me now."

At that moment I knew I wasn't crazy, but in general I was so sick of my mind being toyed with, and even more sick at the thought that Moina was getting sick of me because of it. While she was telling me to do one thing, a voice in my head was telling me to do another so there was this frequent off-and-on conflict.

But Moina understood me better than my own grandmother and was the only person who treated me the way my mom would have in this situation. In such a short period of time I'd grown to genuinely love her, so much so, that I'd cried myself to sleep some nights because I was afraid to lose her. I'd never tell her some of these things though. I felt in my soul that God deliberately placed her in my life because he knew that I didn't have my mom to help me through. Every now and then I'd write her letters confessing things I was too embarrassed to say out of fear that she would think I was weird.

The next Day I got a random call from one of the guys on my management team. I hadn't done any shows for a while or spoken to anyone from the team in what felt like forever so I was a bit shocked he called.

"Hey How you doing?" He spoke.

"I'm OK I guess... hanging on..." I replied.

"Oh OK. I just wanted to call and check on you I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yea I been going through a lot, I just got out the hospital not long ago actually."

"You was in the hospital? What where you in the hospital for"

"I wasn't in a regular hospital, I was forced to go to a mental hospital."

"You was forced to go to a mental hospital? By who?"

"I don't really want to talk about it. It's a long story. Besides, I don't want you thinking I'm a weirdo."

"Believe it or not, I have gifts that I don't really talk about too. Like, I can read people's minds. So I kind of understand."

"Really?" I held the phone with the yea right face.

"Yea... like, I could probably tell you who forced you to go to the hospital."

"Who forced me to go then?" I felt my eyebrows meet in the middle of my forehead.

"Think about whoever it was, just keep thinking it."

I started thinking over and over "Grandma."

After a few seconds I heard him say "It's kind of faint, but I think I'm hearing Grandma... your grandma?"

I dropped the phone and covered my mouth. I quickly picked the phone up. "Oh... my... God..." I tried to gather my thoughts.

"What? I was right?"

I didn't even answer him... I was just dumbfounded and said "...How did you do that?"

He responded. "I told you."

"Yoooo how did u do that though???" I started smiling in amazement.

"I don't really know. Like, I don't really understand it and it makes me really uncomfortable sometimes, that's why I don't talk about it," he said.

I couldn't believe it. This man had literally just read my mind. No terror cards, no preliminary questions that hinted at the answer, no nothing. I was through with the whole thing. After I got off the phone I laid in my bed reanalyzing the whole thing. I thought to myself, "That... is freaky."

As the trip progressed, there was increasingly strange phenomena taking place; from strange messages appearing in my dreams to demons manifesting in people when we went to church. At one point I think I was even possessed by one and Moina had to literally lay hands on me to cease it. Then there were those times that spirits would speak through Madison. Madison was a very sweet girl, and usually when I told her I loved her, she would say it back. But every now and then she would start acting strange. She would start rolling her eyes from one side of the room to the other, laughing at seemingly nothing and touching or scratching me... sometimes even scratching her own self.

The first time it I noticed it my initial thought was, she's just being silly. But when her eyes started rolling around, I heard a voice say "The eyes are the windows to the soul." I held her hand to stop her from scratching and said, "I love you Madison."

Usually she would smile and say it back but this time she looked at me for only a brief moment before a creepy smile formed on her face and her eyes began to roam again.

"Madison? Madison...?" I held on to her hands. For a moment she completely ignored me, but when she turned and looked at me I said, "I said I love you."

After she rolled her eyes once more she blurted "I love you too."

I couldn't help but notice the strange behavior. She was always pretty calm and happy but, this right here was just... weird. Why was it that she wouldn't look me in the eye though she never had a problem doing so before? Why was she scratching and acting weird? Why did it seem as if it was hurting her to tell me she loved me? All signs in my mind pointed to Demons, but specifically because that's what I was thinking it was, I dismissed it and wrote it off as a kid being a kid. That is until the second time it happened...

We were in the hotel room getting ready to go to the mall and Moina was in the shower. Madison was already dressed and I was in the process of doing so when out of nowhere she started acting strange again. Initially I ignored it, but she continued. Eventually my mind started wondering and you know where it went. So I sat on the bed and watched her for a while, then I said,

"I love you Madison." It was the same episode all over again; roaming eyes, strange behavior and that creepy grin....

"I love you Madison." I said it a little louder a second time.

She made her way over to me, looked me in the eye with a straight face and snarled "I don't like you!"

I looked it in the eye, smiled and said "I know."

For about 5 seconds we shared an intense stare. After that, she smiled and randomly went back to goofy, happy old Madison. It was no doubt in my mind what I was dealing with at that point. But some things, I have to admit, are just plain crazy... and I just don't want to believe.

## Chapter 15

New Beginnings

The trip over all was an eye opener in itself. From exorcising demons, to hearing them manifest vocally through electronics and a bunch of other crazy stuff, it was a lot to take in at once and honestly I don't think I handled it well. However, I can say I handled it the best I knew how, but I'm not sure that even that was enough seeing how Moina completely just ignored me after she dropped me off at home. Let her tell it, it was so much demonic activity going on that I scared her and she didn't know what to do. Half of the things I still can't explain and don't even really want to think about it.

Despite all the demonic activity that took place in Georgia, there was even more activity that proved God was real. But it seemed like the more affirmation I received that God is real, the harder and more sever the demonic attacks became. It went from strange episodes of so called "Sleep Paralysis" to entities popping up in my dreams talking to me; trying to kill me and even trying to make me kill myself. I ended up going back to the mental hospital the day we came back from Georgia because I was walking up the middle of 8 Mile into oncoming traffic as a result of demons manipulating my mind. Ironically, I was dressed in all black.

I started another prescription drug cycle almost immediately after I got out of the hospital and it wasn't long after that I slid into deep depression. Here it was, that in a matter of a few weeks, I've lost a near-perfect relationship with my grandmother cause she thinks I'm crazy, my best friend basically tuned her back on me and ignored all my calls, and most of my closest friends were talking about me behind my back.

I'd lost everything that meant something to me, including my mind! I honestly didn't think it could get any worst until I tried to sing myself to sleep one night and my voice was completely gone. I wanted to die... I was so spiritually, socially, and emotionally drained that I really wanted to die. I had no one, everyone was either afraid of me or thought I was crazy, my voice was gone and I could barely sleep because when I wasn't being tormented in my thoughts during the day I was battling demons in my dreams while asleep. I was sleep in my grandmothers room when I had a dream that I was back in the mental institution looking into a book when a demon asked, "How come they don't believe you?" It started laughing.

As tears filled my eyes I heard a voice say, "Because they don't read." I woke up crying just as I started to do in the dream and contemplating suicide by way of the prescription drugs my grandmother kept in her bedroom drawer. I was so sick of these beings popping up in my dreams talking to me, scaring the heck out of me and making feel like I was going crazy that I just wanted to end it all... and I wanted it to be as quick and as painless as possible.

But then I thought to myself "If these entities are real, that means that heaven and hell exists somewhere, and I don't want to go to hell if it's any worse than this." There was absolutely no doubt in my mind by now that God and the Devil were real. My belief in them wasn't a choice to make at this point, it was a reality to accept, and I'd be a fool to throw my whole life away only to either burn in a lake a fire that's supposed to exist somewhere or possibly have to be reborn in another life to through this type of pain all over again.

I just laid there and cried... I was sick, I was tired, and I was tired of being sick and tired but I couldn't end it because hell wasn't an option. I just closed my eyes and prayed "God please... please just kill me. Just take me in my sleep and let me wake up in front of you. I can't take it anymore." As I wept I heard his soft, faint voice say "I'm not through with you yet." I opened my eyes hoping he would just magically appear. I knew it probably wouldn't happen the way I imagined it, but I had already seen the worst, including devil, so I didn't think it was too farfetched that I might see God himself.

The next few months were just a nightmare. I wasn't getting much sleep because my dreams were full of demons. The meds I was on had me walking around like a zombie. I started losing control of the muscles in my face, my legs would shake uncontrollably nonstop and I would periodically drool at the mouth mid-speech, not even knowing it. I wasn't myself, but I had to pretend that I was because if I didn't the first thing I'd hear was "Do we need to go back to the hospital?"

I was so sick of myself and the voices in my head that I asked God to stop talking to me again because sometimes the demons sounded like him and I couldn't differentiate the two. I literally had demons driving me to the point where I wanted to kill myself... After all, what else was I going to do? Where could I go? Who was I going to tell? I was just left to suffer in silence, and as far as I was concerned I was already dead. But somehow I pulled it together. Somehow I made it out, and only by the grace of God, I was still standing.

I got off the drugs, got a job at Motorcity Casino, started feeling normal and became social again. For once in what seemed like forever, I had my life back. I was normal again! No voices, no weird dreams, no freak accidents... It was over!... That is until August 2014 rolled around. And as I should have guessed, it was the same nightmare all over again. But this time I went missing, and when the entities revealed themselves, it happened in front of the whole world... Please pray for me.

## About The Author

Felicia Paige Camille Means, better known as Camille Paige, is most recognized for her soft sweet voice, bubbly personality and passion driven music. Singing since the age of three and writing at the age of five, music has always been her first love. Having been exposed to the truth through music, she has changed her image as a Conscious artist as well as her message and now dedicates her life to "Awakening the masses" through her music, speaking engagements and most of all her testimony. Bookcamillepaige@gmail.com

"I know how hard it is to speak about these things without people thinking you're 'crazy,' that's why I'll never ask you to. But if you ever need someone to listen, I'll be here."

–Camille Paige

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