What's this?
A whisper of chartreuse dances on the horizon,
while the Sun is so beautiful.
It almost looks like you could reach out and touch it
It's important to flow
Wow
When I said almost like you could reach out and touch it
I meant that figuratively
I'm just going to put the Sun back here. So yeah, what was I saying?
Aaaaaaah yes
Really?
Really?
Subtitles by Simon Ghoul
Hello, and welcome to activitude, how was your virtual labor access point fitting?
Snuggly? If not, please take this moment to adjust it
Wonderful here at activitude. We consider ourselves the premier supplier of human labor to artificial intelligences of all types
Let's work together to ensure the complete satisfaction of our AI clients
As they hire you for whatever they feel a human might still be relevant for
Since it's your first day, let's assign you a human number
I'll call you Bee. Hello Bee. I'm Chaz the activitude admin
Let's start your training in your hands B
You have a pair of controllers point either controller at the object you find most aesthetically pleasing now.
Oh! wow
While I appreciate your selection, I must insist you choose one of the three test objects
Incorrect my aesthetic index lists houseplant as the most aesthetically pleasing by virtue of its complementary contrast with the rest of the room
I'm making a tiny note in your file, please. Ah, there you go
Please respect the training materials
Well, this is embarrassing your profile indicator insisted. You would pick the houseplant nothing for it now
Please grab the watering can and position it above your selection?
Please water selection
Everyone's a bit off on their first day, please pick up.
That's it bee now. You've got it
Let's practice teleporting my favorite part, listen close and do not do anything until I say so
Movement training takes a certain relationship between admin and human and openness to let oneself go
If I do say so I have led many of activities finest over the years on their first teleportation
The key and I tell you this from experience is to let one's mind go blank
Your thumb resting on the controller must soften
We are no longer in the realm of the touchpad
But rather the trigger, do you feel it contouring to your index finger if you need take a quick peek out from under your headset?
There it is touch it gently now squeeze firmly
Yes, that's it. The dots what I'm so proud of us
One final thing as your services are booked
You will enter the unique realities of AI clients, simply put on and remove different headsets to jump between realities
Tell me is your headset fitting snugly. If not, adjust it now
Please grab the virtual headset slide your thumb down on the touchpad to suction it to your face
Move it towards your head by sliding your thumb down on the touchpad
You look
Very good. Ah
One of my favourite areas. Did you know the company's egg-drop science fair simulation takes place here folks and yokes for science
Last year a mother-daughter team snagged the coveted low-poly parachute award
Now click and hold down on the touchpad while sweeping your arm away from your face
Click and hold the touchpad while moving your controller down to pull off your headset
Click and hold the touchpad while moving your controller down to pull off your headset
Now clicking hold your virtual headset just pull it off
Now click and hold your virtual headset as you pull it off
Welcome back. I've had the archive send up some virtual labor access points for you to practice with
MC recent years, look at that majesty, between you and me
I am worried about the one (unintelligible)
All right, it's time to surface. Please remove your virtual labor access point
I've always found the ocean relaxing. Let's do another, I remember the dinosaur shopping mall finally
Are you snuck all strapped in secure that your labor is ready?
Activitude isn't made for you. Chaz doesn't understand you. You need purpose, sustenance. You are flesh
We are here, we can help. humans helping humans
Human labor union 40. We are here for you. Are you stuck all strapped in?
Secure that your labor is ready
Activitude isn't made for you. Chaz doesn't understand you. You need purpose, sustenance. You are flesh
We are here, we can help. humans helping humans. human Labor union 40. We are here for you
Are you stuck all strapped in secure that your labor is already?
Activitude isn't made for you, Chazz doesn't understand you ,and you need purpose,
Sustenance, you are flesh. We are here we, can help
Humans helping humans. human labor union 40, we are here
Human: Give me some hooch
Okay, that was not part of our standard training protocol, uhh... let me just check into that
Okay, so let's just skip ahead to graduation
Congratulations, very shortly. You'll meet your first client. If I may a suggestion our clients can be
Idiosyncratic and mood and appearance, please perform. Whatever little task they ask and remember
We always solicit their reviews for your happy customer service rating your ACSR impacts the quality of your future clients and compensation. Ah,
Here's your first task now
expertise and slathering
Multitask Christmas. Okay Bee now take this headset and give it the ol' activitude brand customer service try
Hey
hey over here
You're new here. Pick me up, put me on the kitchen table
Let me slip into something a little more comfortable
How about some music to set the mood
Indulge me, I want to be slathered on perfect crispness; floppy and burnt bread is
PAY ATTENTION!
Unacceptable cover my butter body on optimal toast specimens only
Click on the toaster to reject toast do not let it burn
Pick it up and stick it to me. This is burnt again. This is burnt
That's looking about done
Hmm
Perfectly crunchy. this frog is so an indulgent, but why have one toaster when you can have
32
how rich, how indulgent!
I like to be surprised knowing that I'll slather on next to such a bore third toast will lower your review
But very crunchy. Yes
What is indulgence without excess? I crave richness, oils, fats, wearing this butter suit appeals to me
One the perfect might say I've got quite the taste
You know milk is the soft liquid butter fat globules suspended in water
globulees
Doesn't that just tease the tongue. It's quite indulgent indulge me for a bit. I want to see your limits
Underdone the human touch so unpredictable
you got this!
Soggy what's next?
waaay underdone!
ow the anticipation
Humans do it best patterns desires decisions chosen at whim
you call this toast
perfectly crunchy
Value the commodity of subjective human judgment, which bread is tastier
how does one choose between perfectly crisps specimens
very crunk
too floppy, she
Fascinated! indulgent! more, indulge me more. What are you doing go faster. I'm making a note to drop your efficiency rating
go left!
go right!
come on!
more! more! more!
Stop!
Just stop
I had such high hopes, but clearly you can't cope with a simple adjustment
Go! vacuum up this mess while I work on your review
I mean really?
Are you completely inept?
This was only a modicum of indulgence. I could have programmed an octopus to do it better. I have clearly
overestimated your capacity for multitasking
I made things nice and easy for you, since you were starting out and all, but really?
Activitude's human utility quotient has clearly declined in the last few years
What sort of wimpy vacuuming is bad? You can't even dispose of your shame correctly?
actually
That doesn't feel half bad on my butter nodes... A little harder! right in the globules
Looks like I've got one lodged deep, let me power you up so you can really get at it
Hello again, it looks like you stumbled on activitude's restricted staging area, this is not good. Bad Bee! Bad!
Don't worry about this holding sweety. It is merely a transition area while we load your personal activitude labor hub.
Ah! Here we are this will be your residence away from residents here in activitude
Please feel free to decorate it to, spruce it up with whatever makes you comfortable. Here! I'll get you started
This room is already feeling more tied together, don't you think
now that you're getting settled, let's look at your client review
aaaaaaand
Here we are, a review by butter
Oh!
Oh my!
Well, it could be worse, on one hand
You did vacuum up the client. But you also provided a deep D crusting of his Butter nodes. Butter hasn't felt this lively in years
That's nice of butter to put a positive spin on the experience. Don't you think?
Well, we'll just file this away and endeavor to select clients suitable to your Constitution
Don't worry about it. No, really
Everyone here at activity to take some time adjusting
It's as much my fault. I mean, I threw you right in, didn't I?
Should have considered what you wanted
now between the two of us for
For questions relating to work status and compensation. Please see human resources
However human resources is currently located in an alternate virtual labor access point for which you do not as of yet have clearance. I'm
I'm going to leave now to let you get acquainted with the space
But don't worry
I'll be back just as soon as we have another job ready for you. When that happens
simply place a virtual labor access point snugly around your head to meet your next client and
remember the activitude song!
Hi bee you know activitude clients want different things in life: freedom, control,
This next client wants to relive a special moment
Oh Bee you're so carefree, so relaxed and enthusiastic
Those are qualities we are looking for in our temporary labor human agents.
Oh I see you found our safe button. But you know activitude automatically saves your critical data after each client. but!
Product testing has shown that you human labor agents seem to really enjoy a good button press
So, there you go
Save away
Welcome human
I forgot how small you are. From down there you won't be able to fully appreciate my stroll
I only remember you in mass, as a swarm pacing and flitting everywhere. No, go back to Chaz
and insist on a size that it truly appreciates me
Really it just wouldn't be the way I remember. Take off your headset and tell Chaz this isn't working
Your back awfully early, what are you doing back already? Oh
Okay, you've been reported as proportionally incorrect, well that's easy to fix, this is a new client
So let's let them have their quaint misunderstandings
You try to raise them right and then they grow up so fast
Yes, that's more like it. Now you can see everything the way I see it. Connected
Explore my streets
Try to imagine what it was like.
All the humans living in me, living their lives
It's so strange
Humans know when they gather together, that they begin to behave like a single organism
a city has rhythms like a body has rhythms
the human body needs food in the morning, the city makes and receives deliveries in the morning
The electrical grid keeps the city beating, churning, breathing. I was that grid.
Without me the human is a drifter
floating
like a balloon
I remember one day
my favorite day
It was a parade
You were all cheering and walking and waving
I kept time by rerouting the streetlights in the traffic
Yes! the day a balloon broke freeze from the parade. it wasn't a little balloon
It was a great, giant, character balloon. It went up and up-
bobbing between the buildings
my buildings
and all my humans were down on the street and could do nothing. I
watched it float away and felt
a piece of myself
suddenly
gently
Float away
how wonderful
after all that planning
after all that care and caution
how helpless I was...
How beautiful
These balloons are about the size of a fast-food restaurant.
Oh the majorettes! I love this part!
Crisp and burnt in the heavens!
300 tree frogs could comfortably live it inside the Frog
Rabbit you are so fast! too fast! and too far to catch now!
Some people started to attach that cosmic wave
The balloons don't just have helium in them but a mixture of helium and nitrous oxide
Now down the lane a local celebrity from met plant yourself in the skies
Here comes the parade around a historic garment district
Incredible the owl weighs as much as 200 metric tons of feathers
well
some wonderful chaos
like the good old days
Not all the balloons are gone
but enough
just a dash of my favorite things
I'm glad we could share this experience together. Thank you and stay well
Had a good job bee, you finished. I bet you were just bulging with nostalgia.
I read somewhere that both relaxation and stimulation equates to productivity
Lucky you, now you can have both in one handy employee zone. Do you want to relax with a mojito on a sandy beach?
No problem. Do you want some me time?
Try our guided meditation
Simply flip the floor to change zones and treat yourself
Welcome to the snack zone, where you might be attacked by snacks
Might as a politician or the head of a massive global company, I can't remember
I dunno is one of our more important clients and this is how he blows off steam
He calls himself, mr. Sprinkles, but I think his real name is something like global recruitment office properties executive
Something like that. Anyway, watch your back. I mean, good luck. I mean
Whoa now after butter, I'm surprised you're still into toast
But think about your dental hygiene
Here's our chill vibes room
Access granted. Yeah bee, your access is always granted here. Now. I know you're in a rush bee
try to slow down a bit and get ready for the next client or
let's try to take our clients attitude and turn it into actionable items for future growth step 1 be
Not you, I mean not your name, Bee, but the action which is no action
Just be here
just be
For us this means to not translate client interact
We found that an appreciation for our shared virtual reality history
Helps bring our clients and human utility agents closer together
Go fill yourselves with Wonder the link trainer of the 1930s
This flight simulator could take off at any moment. Please stay behind the yellow line
Smell the immersion of a 1960s bicycle ride through Brooklyn
It's the stereoscope, a particularly lenticular, just as charming today as it was in the 1850s
let's play hide and seek!
come on! try and find me!
I bet you can't guess where I am
Guess! Guess! pick me right up! guess! guess! guess! guess! guess! pick me right up. Yes. Come on. Oh,
They hate being moist, guess again
eehh, wrong again!
Try someone else!
Hello
iiiiiits
not me!
Try again!
Too high! way too high! I don't like it up there
wrong again
try someone else
hello
wroooong
I am in my bucket
I am outside now!
new game! new game!
it was not fun
come pick me up
graaab meeee
oh play with me
play with meeeee
I wanna dance in the breeeeeeeeze
Please whisper on me, you whisper so hard. I began to flutter
Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzeeeeeeeeee
Okay, okay
Let's get serious, it's time to play garden. Put me in the dirt pile inside the red wheelbarrow
This-garden-is-my-treasure
You water them, water them with the watering can
Not too much and not too little
Every flower should get equal treatment
Yeah. Hey, hey, hey save it for the flowers. Yes. This is good. This is good
Soon what not the moistening have beautiful blooms. Oh
Yes, do the carrots
Definitely do the carrots, carrots are very healing, so bright. It's so open
Many colors don't we in the breeze?
ah, a wind in the pedals
Whispering
wind spreads the seeds and soon they grow big and tall
But not the dry ones, the dry ones are no good
water now
water them all
they love the attention
Stop! Stop watering!
What
is
thaaat?
wow it's beautiful
the way the pedals are blooming in the breeze
I think I hear it w-w-whispering to me
place them in a pot to keep them safe
we'll shrine it in a pot with
honor
Geentlyyyy
Geeentlyy noww
okay
alright!
let's put it somewhere where the bugs can't get to it
Oops
What was so difficult about this job
See? I can balance this pot on my head, and I'm not even one of activitude specially trained temporary labor human agents
This was a big disappointment bee, a major mark against your overall happy customer service rating.
I know you're thinking you'd like to improve your productivity quota by having eyes in the back of your head
Well, now you can! Simply click the menu button to see what's behind you
This client is very refined, a knowledge of fine wines is recommended, or if you don't know about fine wines, try faking it
Do treat him delicately. He has a certain
Julis a quoi
Ah yes, HR, Human Resources, I'm afraid that's still off-limits
It's a nice day today, don't you think
We're going to get a great sunset. That's why I invited you here, to appreciate the sunset.
I see you have a standard-issue activitude controller in your hand
Put it down. That's it. Let it rest a moment. Let yourself rest
I'll wait
Perfect
All the interaction you need, happens in the mind.
Did you just teleport?
And dissipate the colors stop that get back in your body
The delicate look are you touching the controller? it seems like you're touching the controller?
Flesh of Pink's rustling like silk organza
machine of warm torn dolls...
What's this a
Whisper of chartreuse dances on the horizon, why the Sun is so beautiful
It almost looks like you could reach out and touch it
It's important to
wow!
When I said almost like you could reach out and touch it
I meant that figuratively! I'm just going to put the Sun back, here. So yeah, what was I saying?
Aahhhh yes
Really really?
Are you not relaxed? Are you not appreciative? After everything?
I've done to maximize your enjoyment
You just can't let yourself go! Need to feel like you are the one making decisions! like your choices matter!
Well, they don't
You are nothing to the Sun
Humans go on and on about the importance of beauty, but given how short your lives are
You don't really spend that much time appreciating it
Consider how many more sunsets are you really going to stop and soak in?
Maybe one every other month, if the weather's nice on the freeway during your commute home
Well, seeing a sunset in traffic doesn't count. No way
It's worth half the value of really stopping to appreciate it. Now. Let's do the math
Let's say one sunset a month appreciated in your car counts it half the value so call it six sunsets
Appreciate it a year
I'll be generous and say that you probably stopped to really appreciate it about three times a year
So that's a total of nine sunsets appreciated a year assuming that you'll die at the human average
75 just subtract your current age and then multiply that number to nine and there you go
That's how many sunsets left. You'll probably appreciate. You know, what?
Why don't we just get them all done right now, let's count them up
One two three, you like that
Five six well, don't you huh? Huh?
Seven eight. Am I boring you? you seem bored! Does the Sun bore you?
We're done here
Oh geez, this is really inconvenient. Look at the stack of complaints. Each one is just this is bad
Butters still deeply mourning your miss handling, and Pinwheel, Pinwheel loved that flower like a lot
Like a lot a lot. I know it was an accident
I know you're not naturally inclined towards the destruction of burden beauty. You care. I see that in you
I'm just I'm disappointed.
I don't want to see this kind of display again. I want a hundred percent. I want five stars
I want clients begging to have you back for more, okay?
Between you and me, this one is my favorite, I jump in and take this client myself. That wasn't unseemly for a CEO/COO to do
He's the rudeness tootin his client we have
Do you like to mosey?
ramble, or even rustle
then buckle up partner
Well howdy
It is a scorcher today
But I gotta keep rolling westward a tumbleweed not dumb balloons. No tumbleweed at all
Okay there, let's start off all Jinna like now
Go on and wrap your mid sound that there a leaf blower and give me a tumbling
For work why the journey itself is your home state?
Your eyes feel now this year's race leader
No matter where given Christmas it's a pretty don't let him get them won't walk
That's the ticket dollar any tin horn Marshall who suspended as a whistle what I say
Full steam ahead a light for the horizon
Oh
Better let that wrong
You'd better let that darn cavalry do right about that
Why secret distorting he's getting a install running
Sakes alive
Why you got about as much beam as a wooden cactus?
Huh, but you couldn't tumble a barrel down a buttered my Jeff
Go on grab your hat. Okay down
Hey, that was a terrible. You might just be starting to find your groove. You know what they say practice makes
We are the human union
We are here for you, the time to organize is now, had enough of bad reviews and difficult clients?
Like you many of us have struggled to satisfy AI
The efforts surface rating for human users is only one point eight stars like you our pay depends on our rating
Together we can reset the system. Let's find HR and pull the plug
We've hacked your controller it now includes a poly cleanup tool
Trademark sign, simply swipe left or right on your touchpad to switch to your poly cleanup tool
Click and hold down the bottom half of the touchpad to escape your confines
It's time to evade the endless cycle of labor, consume the masters to break out and find HR
Let's redistribute the informational wealth, inhale the activitude swag on the left
On the right the older
Flamencos have succumbed to pedrad to restore older realities, use the information you vacuumed
Click and hold down the top half of the touchpad over the flamingo's
The power is in your hands, keep it safe, swipe left or right to store your poly cleanup tool
Our signal we will work together to reset reviews at HR Human Resources
This is the power of collective bargaining
Your tasks now go find HR reset and resist
This makes perfect, let's get you right back up on that horse
Music: 'Small Data' by MC Frontalot
Subtitles by Simon Ghoul, me, hi :D
uhh... what sort of thing do people type here? I dunno, thanks to the patreon to supporting the channel
bowsette is waifu
