Gavin: Man, we're good. We are profesh.
Geoff: Alright.
Gavin: Man, we're good. We are profesh.
Geoff: I am going to send out invites, now.
Ray: Oh, my dad's calling.
Gavin: Is this part in the video, Geoff?
Ray: Should I pick up the phone?
Michael: Tell your dad you're working.
Gavin: Should we do an intro?
Geoff: Uh, we're gonna in second. Lemme get you guys in the game.
Geoff: Gavin, I see you.
Gavin: I don't see you.
Michael: I have to join.
Geoff: I'm right- I'm right- Right- I'm lookin' at you.
Geoff: Guys, go down to the water, there's- There's a big sandy beach.
Gavin: Am I on the beach?
Ray: Aw, fuck, I threw my map.
Michael: I am underground.
Ray: Are you really?
Michael: Yeah.
Ray: Uhhh...
Gavin: Oh! I see you.
Ray: ...Oh, I just climb up.
Ray: I'm literally, like, right next to you.
Gavin: Am I Boris the Tennis Player?
Geoff: Yeah, you're Boris the Tennis Player. Okay!
Gavin: Good.
Geoff: Yeah, you're Boris the Tennis Player. Okay!
Geoff: So, guys...
Gavin: So, this is it? This is the video?
Geoff: This is a fresh world...
Michael: I need to get up.
Gavin: We should do an intro.
Geoff: Let's do an intro.
Michael: Can I climb out of my death-hole first?
Ray: I am on my way.
Ray: Tuxedo Mask is coming
[Michael and Geoff laughing]
Michael: I'm breakin' out.
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: Ah! Oh God!
Michael: OH!!
Michael: OHH SHIT!!
[Michael sniggering]
Geoff: What's wrong?
[Michael sniggering]
Gavin: Idiot!
[Michael laughing]
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: [Laughs] Michael broke the beach.
Michael: It was a fuckin'...
Michael: I didn't know!
Geoff: Dude, shit's about to get- It's- I didn't want to start at night.
Michael: Uhh, I've may have flooded.
Geoff: Come-
Michael: Uhh, I've may have flooded.
Geoff: Come over here. Come over here. Come over here.
Michael: I'm okay.
Geoff: Come over here. Come over here. Come over here.
Ray: You... You've flooded nothing.
Geoff: Throw that- Throw that fuckin' block away.
Geoff: Everybody starts with nothing.
Michael: How do I throw it away?
Ray: B.
Gavin: Just B.
Geoff: Just hit B.
Gavin: On- On the actual block.
Ray: That's right, you haven't actually played Minecraft.
Gavin: On- On the actual block.
Ray: That's right, you haven't actually played Minecraft.
Michael: I know! I told you this.
Gavin: I like the fact that out of everyone...
Gavin: I like the fact that out of everyone...
Michael: I don't know how to play.
Gavin: Michael still...
Gavin: You picked it up again, you dope!
Michael: I ran into it.
Gavin: Alright, should we do an intro?
Michael: Shut up.
Geoff: Alright, everybody c'mere. This is the intro.
Gavin: Okay.
Geoff: Hey, guys?
Michael: There's a cow in the water.
Geoff: This is our latest Minecraft- Uh, I did not want to start at dark. This is gonna make it difficult.
Geoff: This is our latest Minecraft Let's Play. It's gonna be a race. We're gonna see who can get to bedrock first.
Gavin: Geoff.
Geoff: It's a brand new world. I called it "Go". We're on Hard. And nobody has any tools or weapons.
Geoff: It's a brand new world. I called it "Go". We're on Hard. And nobody has any tools or weapons.
Geoff: There's a block right there, there's a block over there. You can see the dirt blocks.
Geoff: That's where we start.
Gavin: You've done some prep work on this!
Gavin: You've done some prep work on this!
Geoff: I've done some prep work.
Gavin: You've done some prep work on this!
Geoff: That's where we start and at the count of three... Everybody go, okay?
Michael: Okay.
Geoff: That's where we start and at the count of three... Everybody go, okay?
Geoff: And whoever gets to bedrock first wins.
Geoff: Everything is...
Michael: It won't be me!
Geoff: There's nothing off limits, you can attack your friends, you can do whatever you want to or you can just dig.
Gavin: So, the first one to bedrock?
Geoff: Yeah, first one to bedrock wins.
Gavin: Oh my God.
Geoff: Yeah, first one to bedrock wins.
Ray: Remember your fuckin' dirt square.
Ray: Remember your fuckin' dirt square.
Geoff: On the count of three...
Geoff: One, two, three, go.
Gavin: Uhoah!
[Gavin laughing]
Gavin: [Laughing] Who's winning?
Gavin: Are we allowed to-
Ray: Aw, fuck, I hit sandstone already.
Gavin: OHH!!
Ray: Aw, fuck, I hit sandstone already.
Gavin: AHH, MICHAEL!!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Stop!
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: Stop, you crevice!
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: God!
Geoff: Alright, sounds like things are going well with you guys.
Geoff: Alright, sounds like things are going well with you guys.
[Michael snorts]
Gavin: You...
Gavin: Argh! I just fell in- I fell in the dumb ditch you made!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Ah, fuck.
Michael: Gavin fuckin' gave me a head start.
Michael: Gavin fuckin' gave me a head start.
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: I assume there's gonna be monsters pretty soon.
Geoff: I assume there's gonna be monsters pretty soon.
Michael: Dude, this map...
Geoff: I assume there's gonna be monsters pretty soon.
Michael: Dude, this map...
Ray: Uh, there's, like, eight spiders over there. I'm not going that way.
Ray: Uh, there's, like, eight spiders over there. I'm not going that way.
Michael: This map can dig, let me tell ya.
Ray: Uh, there's, like, eight spiders over there. I'm not going that way.
Michael: This map can dig, let me tell ya.
Ray: I'm, uh...
[Gavin laughing]
Gavin: Diggin' with his map...
Gavin: Are we allowed to go make tools?
Ray: That's-
Geoff: Yeah, you can do whatever you want to!
Michael: That's what he just said! You can do anything!
Geoff: Yeah, you can do whatever you want to!
Michael: That's what he just said! You can do anything!
Gavin: Oh. Well, sorry, I was too busy getting attacked.
Ray: That's what I'm doing.
Michael: That's what he just said! You can do anything!
Gavin: Oh. Well, sorry, I was too busy getting attacked.
Ray: Good thing fuckin' Geoff started us in the desert, I can fuckin' make a cactus shovel.
Gavin: Oh. Well, sorry, I was too busy getting attacked.
Ray: Good thing fuckin' Geoff started us in the desert, I can fuckin' make a cactus shovel.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I killed you after.
Ray: Good thing fuckin' Geoff started us in the desert, I can fuckin' make a cactus shovel.
Michael: I killed you after.
Geoff: That's part of the challenge. I removed all the trees.
Geoff: That's part of the challenge. I removed all the trees.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: You're...
Ray: Goddammit.
Geoff: Most of them.
Ray: Fuck, dude! There's no trees anywhere!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I'm hittin' no-
Geoff: Yeah, that's part of the challenge.
Geoff: Yeah, that's part of the challenge.
Ray: Fuck!
Geoff: What's going on!?
Michael: Oh, someone's gettin' hit.
Ray: Oh fuck! That's not a tree!
Ray: Oh fuck! That's not a tree!
Michael: I can hear someone getting attacked.
Ray: Get away from me, you fuck!
Ray: Ai! I found trees!
Ray: On the other side of the world.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Ah, fuck!
Michael: Oh! Oh! Crap!
Ray: Dude, there's, like, eight zombies down there and a spider, are you kidding me?
Ray: Dude, there's, like, eight zombies down there and a spider, are you kidding me?
Michael: How do you crouch?
Ray: Dude, there's, like, eight zombies down there and a spider, are you kidding me?
Michael: Can you crouch?
Ray: Uhh, you click in the Right Stick.
Ray: Is this Creeper still following me? Get away from me, asshole.
Geoff: Ah fuck.
Ray: Dude, I've been playing on Peaceful for so long this is, like... Scary.
[Michael laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Good, Creeper's not moving.
Michael: Since- Since when is your guy in the upper...?
Geoff: Fuck! I died!
Michael: Since- Since when is your guy in the upper...?
Geoff: Who killed me?
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: Gavin, you prick!
[Gavin laughing]
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: Since when is your own guy in the upper left hand corner? I never noticed that.
Geoff: Uh, when you're crouching.
Ray: That's only when you're in the...
Ray: Like, if you're standing here.
Geoff: Gavin, I fuckin' hate you.
Michael: Oh, really?
Geoff: Gavin, I fuckin' hate you.
Michael: I assume Gavin killed me, but that's okay 'cuz I'm gonna fuckin' kill him in a second.
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: I assume Gavin killed me, but that's okay 'cuz I'm gonna fuckin' kill him in a second.
Michael: I'm gonna run right back to him and murder him!
Gavin: I was- [Laughs]
Michael: I'm gonna run right back to him and murder him!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: So do we have no, like, fuckin' tools?
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: So do we have no, like, fuckin' tools?
Geoff: Nah, you gotta- It's the fuckin' part of the challenge.
Ray: You gotta fuckin' make everything.
Geoff: Nah, you gotta- It's the fuckin' part of the challenge.
Michael: Yeah, but we can't make things if there's no wood.
Michael: Right?
Gavin: Geoff was down his hole, and I- [Laughs]
Gavin: Geoff was down his hole, and I- [Laughs]
Ray: No, there- There's trees you gotta climb, like, fuckin' Mount Olympus to find 'em.
Ray: No, there- There's trees you gotta climb, like, fuckin' Mount Olympus to find 'em.
Michael: Are you serious?
Ray: Yeah.
Gavin: Geoff was down his hole and I started puttin' sand in it so he suffocated!
Geoff: Yeah-
[Michael and Ray laughing]
[Michael and Ray laughing]
Geoff: Yeah, it's hilarious.
Michael: That is pretty funny.
Gavin: Uh...
Michael: Don't do it to me, though.
Gavin: Has anyone found a workbench?
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Find it? You have to make those.
Michael: Where the hell...
Michael: Oh God!
Gavin: Orgh, it's gonna be a long day.
Michael: Who is that?
Gavin: Orgh.
Michael: Is there a guy over there who's gonna fuck me up?
Michael: Ah, sweet.
Gavin: So, Geoff did you pick a specific hole or were they all the same?
Gavin: So, Geoff did you pick a specific hole or were they all the same?
Geoff: A sp- P- Pick a specific hole? There were no holes.
Gavin: No, like a dirt block, I mean. Like, was-
Geoff: No, no. I just- I just randomly...
Gavin: No, like a dirt block, I mean. Like, was-
Geoff: No, no. I just- I just randomly...
Gavin: Was underneath your dirt block the bedrock?
Gavin: Was underneath your dirt block the bedrock?
Geoff: I just walked over to the one, uh, that you guys weren't standing on yet.
Gavin: Oh, okay.
Gavin: Interesting
Geoff: Is it...
Gavin: Do we...?
Ray: Alright, my hole's the one with the... The, uh... The dirt block next to it.
Ray: Alright, my hole's the one with the... The, uh... The dirt block next to it.
Gavin: Oh... Pap!
Ray: Alright, my hole's the one with the... The, uh... The dirt block next to it.
Gavin: Argh...
Gavin: I've got iron now.
Michael: You got what?
Gavin: So, wh-what are the rules, Geoff?
Michael: Oh my God!
Michael: Really!?
Gavin: Am I allowed to just go down a different hole?
Gavin: Am I allowed to just go down a different hole?
Michael: Can we- Can I just punch him in the face?
Geoff: No, you've got to go down your hole.
Gavin: Uh...
Gavin: Okay.
Geoff: But you can fuck with your teammates and stuff if you want to.
Geoff: But you can fuck with your teammates and stuff if you want to.
Gavin: Okay.
Michael: Oh, do you really?
Michael: You have to go down your hole?
Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: Oh. Okay, mine probably isn't started, then 'cuz I was fuckin' with Gavin's!
Geoff: [Laughs] That's fine. That's a strategy.
Michael: No, I was digging it deeper.
Gavin: Uh, yeah, Michael helped me build my hole. Thanks Michael.
Michael: Yeah.
Gavin: Oh, also, I've realised that when you punch rock you don't pick it up. So I'm stuck.
[Geoff, Michael and Ray laughing]
[Geoff and Gavin laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: I literally... Can't do a sausage.
Michael: Ow!
Gavin: I literally... Can't do a sausage.
Michael: Ow!
Gavin: Apart from dig down.
Geoff: Ohh, man. I need to find some fuckin'...
Ray: So...
Gavin: Why didn't I just go and find a tree?
Michael: 'Cuz you're dumb.
Geoff: I don't know why you didn't go find a tree, that's what I did.
Geoff: I don't know why you didn't go find a tree, that's what I did.
Ray: Good luck finding a tree!
Geoff: I don't know why you didn't go find a tree, that's what I did.
Ray: Good luck finding a tree!
Gavin: Did you find a tree, Ray?
Ray: I did.
Gavin: Oh, really!?
Ray: After about an hour and a half of sear- That's a little exaggerated.
Michael: "Good luck!"
Ray: After about an hour and a half of sear- That's a little exaggerated.
Michael: "Did you find one?" "Well, yeah."
Gavin: So you're already, like, half way down to the Earth's core?
Ray: Possibly.
Ray: Hey! I found iron! That might me useful.
Gavin: Urgh...
Geoff: Fuckin' I...
Ray: Don't fuck with my hole by the way.
Micheal: Oh no, don't throw that! Oh my God, I don't know how to play this game!
Ray: Don't fuck my mouth, I'm doing actually well.
Gavin: It's gonna be a long day.
Ray: Don't fuck my mouth, I'm doing actually well.
Geoff: I have a feeling Ray's gonna win already.
Michael: I have a feeling it's not gonna be me.
Geoff: I have a feeling Ray's gonna win already.
Michael: I have a feeling it's not gonna be me.
Gavin: Wh- Did you design it so you could win, Geoff?
Gavin: Wh- Did you design it so you could win, Geoff?
Geoff: No! I didn't design it in any way at all.
Ray: No, 'cuz...
Geoff: I made it Even Steven.
Ray: I'm gonna dig and fi-
Geoff: I made it Even Steven.
Ray: I'm gonna dig and fi-
Michael: No-no-no-no-no!
Michael: No-no-no-no-no!
Ray: I'm gonna dig and find lava.
Michael: NO!!
Ray: I'm gonna dig and find lava.
Michael: NO!! NO!!
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: Oh, God! I'm being attacked by spiders and shit!
Michael: Oh, God! I'm being attacked by spiders and shit!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Oh, God! I'm being attacked by spiders and shit!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh, fuck!
Michael: No! Fuck off!
Geoff: Ahh, this is going out excellent. This is exactly what I was hoping for.
Geoff: Ahh, this is going out excellent. This is exactly what I was hoping for.
Michael: Nooo! Shit!
Geoff: Ahh, this is going out excellent. This is exactly what I was hoping for.
Michael: OW!!
[Gavin laughing]
[Michael groaning and whimpering]
Ray: Oh, I just realized there's monsters down here.
[Michael groaning and whimpering]
Geoff: Oh, yeah, there's gonna be monsters.
Michael: Oh, there's monsters? Yeah.
Michael: Oh, there's monsters? Yeah.
Ray: Yeah, w-
Geoff: And we're playing on hard, too.
Michael: Oh crap!
Gavin: Michael's cacking his pants!
[Geoff and Ray laughing]
Michael: Shut up!
[Ray laughing]
Michael: Shut your fucking mouth!
Geoff: Why am I so stupid!?
Ray: I...
Gavin: What've you done?
Gavin: What are you doing, Geoff?
Ray: At least you don't cack your pants, whatever that means.
Ray: At least you don't cack your pants, whatever that means.
Michael: Dude! [Growls]
Michael: Like, I don't even know where we started!
Geoff: Why didn't I make tools?
Ray: If y-
Geoff: What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ray: If you have a map you can just look where our...
Michael: I don't!
Ray: You died?
Gavin: I've got Michael's map!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Oh, wow.
Michael: Gavin killed me!
Ray: You're a fuck.
Gavin: I've got two maps!
[Gavin and Geoff laugh]
Ray: Uhh, I won.
Michael: Like-
Michael: Uh-
Gavin: Oh, you won?
Ray: I won.
Michael: Really?
Geoff: What?
Ray: I'm at- I'm at bedrock already.
Ray: I'm at- I'm at bedrock already.
Geoff: There's no way!
Ray: Yeah, look!
Michael: Geoff-
Geoff: Hold on, I gotta come over and look.
Ray: I'm at bedrock.
Gavin: Geoff seems amazed somehow that you won.
Gavin: Geoff seems amazed somehow that you won.
Ray: That's bedrock.
Ray: I win.
Ray: Yaaaaaaay!
Gavin: What should've-
Geoff: You fuckin' asshole! How did you get to bedrock so fast!?
Geoff: You fuckin' asshole! How did you get to bedrock so fast!?
Ray: I dug down. I made tools and dug down.
Geoff: I forgot to make tools!
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: What was I doing!?
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: I win.
Michael: WHY WOULD YOU NOT MAKE TOOLS!?!
Ray: I made two wooden pickaxes and two shovels and that-
Michael: I didn't make any tools because I'm an idiot and I don't know how to play the fuckin' game and I was getting fucked by a spider!
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: Honestly, one pickaxe and one shovel was enough. I over-prepared.
Ray: Honestly, one pickaxe and one shovel was enough. I over-prepared.
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: Well, the bedrock's only 64 blocks down from sea level, isn't it?
Gavin: Well, the bedrock's only 64 blocks down from sea level, isn't it?
Geoff: Where did I- What happened to my wood? Oh, I made a billion sticks and no fuckin'-
[Gavin and Michael laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I win!
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
[Michael laughing]
Geoff: Ohhhh, Gawd!
Gavin: So you- You put all your-
Geoff: Ohhhh, Gawd!
Gavin: You turned all your wood into useless sticks?
Geoff: I turned all my wood-
Gavin: Wow, you have the handle of every weapon you ever want.
Gavin: Wow, you have the handle of every weapon you ever want.
[Ray laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Geoff: How'd...?
Ray: So what do I do now?
Geoff: This my idea, how'd I fuck that up!?
Michael: I don't know! You thought you would've had  some sort of strategy.
Gavin: It looks like- The look on your face, Geoff is like you've blown your own mind with how stupid you just were.
[Ray and Michael laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: So, uh...
Michael: I don't know how long this is gonna take!
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: What do- What do I do now?
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: Uhh, I guess we're done.
Geoff: How long did it take?
Gavin: Ay, congratulations, Ray! What was the prize?
Gavin: Ay, congratulations, Ray! What was the prize?
Michael: That was...
Gavin: Ay, congratulations, Ray! What was the prize?
Geoff: Should we do a Round 2?
Ray: Let's do it.
Michael: What is Round 2?
Gavin: So what you've done is you've pre-prepared wood for yourself so you already had tools and you still lost!
Geoff: No, I didn't pre-pepare!
Gavin: So what you've done is you've pre-prepared wood for yourself so you already had tools and you still lost!
Geoff: I didn't pre-prepare, I just went over to this tree right here.
Gavin: Oh.
Geoff: There's a tree right there.
Gavin: Oh, really?
Michael: He went over to the tree and then did nothing with it!
Michael: He went over to the tree and then did nothing with it!
Gavin: Well, the thing is I was-
Michael: And then he did and then he brought Gavin a tree in the fucking middle of the ground.
Michael: And then he did and then he brought Gavin a tree in the fucking middle of the ground.
Gavin: I was trying to suffocate Geoff with sand and,
Gavin: Whenever I was putting sand down his hole,
Gavin: He would put a tree, like, a block of wood there.
Gavin: And then I'd just take it and suffocate him again.
[Michael and Ray laughing]
Geoff: Alright, I'mma let-
Ray: Once you said you did that, when I was digging down I'm like...
Ray: ...Cobblestone.
[Gavin laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: Alright. Goddammit.
[Ray laughing]
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: I'm and idiot. [Laughs]
Michael: I'm glad that we got that done before lunch.
[Gavin and Geoff laughing]
Gavin: But I didn't understand the rules, so you have to go down your hole...
Michael: The rules are...
Gavin: But I didn't understand the rules, so you have to go down your hole...
Michael: ...Reach bedrock in your hole.
Gavin: You have to go straight down one block?
Michael: ...Reach bedrock in your hole.
Ray: It- It's just the first to find bedrock.
Ray: It- It's just the first to find bedrock.
Ray: I just dug straight down.
I just dug straight down. Actually, i had to dig around redstone
I just dug straight down. Actually, i had to dig around redstone
Gavin: Mm. 
Ray: That was it.
Michael: The game was over by the third time Gavin asked what the rules were.
[Gavin and Geoff laughing]
Michael: Even though Geoff said, "There are no rules, you can do whatever you want."
Ray: Just find bedrock.
Michael: Right at the beginning of the game, it was the first thing he said. You're like,
Michael: Right at the beginning of the game, it was the first thing he said. You're like,
Ray: "So what are the rules?"
Michael: Right at the beginning of the game, it was the first thing he said. You're like,
Michael: "WHAT ARE THE RUUUULES!?!"
Geoff: You idiots. Okay...
Geoff: This one's gonna be...
Michael: You're the one running around with trees!
Michael: You're the one running around with trees!
[Geoff laughing]
Geoff: I don't know what I was doing!
Ray: "Dude, I got sixteen sticks!" What am I s-
[Michael and Geoff laughing]
Gavin: I wish you'd invite me.
[Michael snorts]
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: What was the name of that world you had there, Michael?
Ray: He said it was called "Go".
Geoff: "Go".
Ray: Or 'OG' backwards.
Michael: Which- Which one were you asking about, Gavin?
Gavin: The middle one.
Michael: The middle one?
Michael: This one?
Gavin: That one.
Gavin: No, no, the top one.
Michael: Oh, this one?
Gavin: The Tutorial? No.
Michael: Hmm.
Geoff: Alright.
Michael: Hm.
Geoff: How'd I- How'd I lo-
Michael: Are you sti- Still can't grasp this?
Ray: Are you still, like...
Michael: Are you sti- Still can't grasp this?
Michael: You can watch the video, Geoff.
Ray: You're-
Michael: You can watch the video, Geoff.
Ray: You're flustered!
Michael: I mean, you can see how it happened!
Geoff: I'm mad at mys-
Michael: I mean, you can see how it happened!
Geoff: I'm mad at myself.
Michael: I can't wait to watch Geoff's video of him picking up wood and then fuckin' wandering around with it!
Ray: I can't wait to see the sixteen sticks in his inventory and he's like, "What the fuck!?"
Michael: I can't wait to watch Geoff's video of him picking up wood and then fuckin' wandering around with it!
Ray: I can't wait to see the sixteen sticks in his inventory and he's like, "What the fuck!?"
[Geoff and Michael laughing]
[Michael laughing]
[Ray laughing]
Geoff: I'm fuckin' retarded.
Michael: "Ready, set..." [Dumb voice] "Got it!"
Geoff: Invited.
Michael: "Ready, set..." [Dumb voice] "Got it!"
[Geoff and Ray laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Alright, I'm gonna pick the same hole, guys.
Ray: Alright, I'm gonna pick the same hole, guys.
Geoff: Alright, did everybody get an invite?
Michael: Uh, yeah.
Gavin: Why do you keep startin' at night?
Ray: Uh, yeah. Ah, fuck, I'm Boris the stupid, flamboyant tennis player.
Geoff: I didn't want to.
Ray: Uh, yeah. Ah, fuck, I'm Boris the stupid, flamboyant tennis player.
Ray: Uh, yeah. Ah, fuck, I'm Boris the stupid, flamboyant tennis player.
Geoff: Can I change time of day?
Ray: Uh, yeah. Ah, fuck, I'm Boris the stupid, flamboyant tennis player.
Gavin: You- Uh... No.
Geoff: Alright, then shut the fuck up.
Michael: Shut up, Gavin!
Ray: Alright, where are you this time? Are you in a different spot?
Geoff: I'm upstair- I'm up above you.
Michael: Oh great. I'm with Gavin. Right where I want to be. In the water.
Geoff: See where I am?
Ray: Uhh, you're above me?
Michael: Do you know where you're goin', Gavin?
Geoff: Yeah, I'm up the hill.
Gavin: Yeah, I'm going to the beach with the holes.
Ray: Oh, okay, you're up there, alright.
Michael: I'm just following you.
Ray: I don't see you yet but I'm just gonna start climbing the hill.
Ray: I don't see you yet but I'm just gonna start climbing the hill.
Michael: There's a Creeper right there.
Geoff: Alright, Ray you're going the right way.
Ray: Okay, cool.
Gavin: Urhp! Erhp!
Geoff: Everybody follow Ray.
Ray: Follow the Ray Train!
[Geoff chuckling]
Michael: Don't ever say that.
Ray: Okay.
[Gavin sniggering]
Gavin: Dumb idiot.
Ray: What about the Ray, like, monorail?
Ray: What about the Ray, like, monorail?
Ray: The MonoRay?
[Michael snorts]
Geoff: Oh God.
Ray: AH FUCK!! AH!!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Urgh! Flower! Go!
Geoff: What's the matter?
Gavin: Alright, I picked my hole. This is the Hole of Dreams, right here.
Gavin: The Hole of Goal.
Ray: I've got your Hole of Dreams right here.
Geoff: You're in the wrong fuckin'...
Geoff: You're in the place, dickhead.
Gavin: Oh.
Michael: Where are we goin'?
Geoff: I already told you to go up the hill!
Ray: OH MY GOD!!
Geoff: I already told you to go up the hill!
Ray: AH!!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Oh, are we going to different places?
Gavin: Oh, are we going to different places?
Geoff: Yes!
Gavin: Oh.
Gavin: Why?
Ray: Geoff, am I still going the right way, like...
Ray: Geoff, am I still going the right way, like...
Geoff: No!
Gavin: Why are we going to a different place?
Ray: What color arrow are you?
Gavin: Why are we going to a different place?
Ray: What color arrow are you?
Michael: Because we already did that!
Geoff: I'm gray!
Michael: Because we already did that!
Gavin: Oh, I thought-
Ray: Oh, you're gray, okay.
Ray: Oh, you're gray, okay.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I have a little bit of a situation here I'm trying to deal with at the same time.
Ray: AH!!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: What is going on over there?
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Uhh, I have Creepers and spiders and-
Ray: Uhh, I have Creepers and spiders and-
Gavin: Which one am I on the smegging map!?
Michael: I don't know, I can never fucking tell!
Gavin: Which one am I on the smegging map!?
Michael: I don't know, I can never fucking tell!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Am I...
Michael: I'm blue.
Gavin: What- Who am I!?
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I'm blue.
Michael: Uh- Oh- Wait, there's Gavin.
Geoff: Gavin, you're red.
Gavin: I'm red?
Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: Oh, there's Geoff.
Michael: You gotta go up, Gavin. Go up.
Gavin: Who am I going to?
Michael: You gotta go up, Gavin. Go up.
Gavin: Up?
Geoff:  Uh, ca- Don't bring the Creepers over here!
Geoff:  Uh, ca- Don't bring the Creepers over here!
Michael: What?
Geoff: Alright, everybody stay up-
Michael: AHHH!! SHIT!! There's two behind me!
[Gavin laughs]
Ray: I may have led them to you.
Geoff: [Laughs] Everybody stay over here for a while.
Geoff: [Laughs] Everybody stay over here for a while.
Michael: Gavin's got a fucking spider, too.
Michael: Gavin's got a fucking spider, too.
Ray: I still don't know where we are.
Geoff: Let's stay- Let's wait till daytime.
Geoff: Let's stay- Let's wait till daytime.
Gavin: Map punch!
Geoff: Everybody just stay alive till daytime, how about that?
Geoff: Everybody just stay alive till daytime, how about that?
Ray: Somebody find Ray.
Geoff: Nobody touch-
Gavin: Ah!! Ahh!!
Geoff: Nobody-
Michael: Gavin's getting fuckin'...
Gavin: Urgh!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: ...Destroyed by spiders and shit!
Ray: They're everywhere! I picked up the flower I threw earlier, I'm going in circles!
Geoff: Nobody-
Ray: They're everywhere! I picked up the flower I threw earlier, I'm going in circles!
Ray: They're everywhere! I picked up the flower I threw earlier, I'm going in circles!
Geoff: Nobody-
Ray: Get away from me you fuck!
Ray: Get away from me you fuck!
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: I'm gonna map you into next week, you red-eyed prick!
Ray: Ow!
Gavin: I'm gonna map you into next week, you red-eyed prick!
Gavin: I'm gonna map you into next week, you red-eyed prick!
Ray: Oh!
Gavin: I'm gonna map you into next week, you red-eyed prick!
Ray: Fuck.
[Geoff laughing]
[Michael laughing]
Ray: Fuck me!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Oh, hey, I'm still- Aw...
Gavin: I just got done in.
Ray: Alright, I died!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I've now lost my map.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I've now lost my map.
Michael: "I'm gonna map you into next week"!
Michael: "I'm gonna map you into next week"!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: "I'm gonna map you into next week"!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Oh, hey, I found Gavin. Gavin slow down.
Geoff: Ohh, God!
Gavin: Okay, wh-
Michael: Ohh, I fuckin' taught that spider a lesson.
Michael: Ohh, I fuckin' taught that spider a lesson.
Gavin: In all seriousness, though, what the goddamn is goin' on?
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: We need to go to the top of this mountain.
Geoff: No-no-no, don't! 'Cuz the Creepers are just gonna blow shit up before we can start it.
Gavin: Why don't we just do it now?
Michael: Well, I don't have any Creepers.
Gavin: Why don't we just do it now?
Michael: Well, I don't have any Creepers.
Geoff: Let's just wait till daytime.
Gavin: Let's not.
Geoff: Alright, let's do it now, hold on, I'll help you guys up the top.
Geoff: Ahh!!
[Ray laughing]
Gavin: What is it, a race to the top? I'm gonna win!
Geoff: Ahhh! Fuckin' zombies!
Ray: "I'm gonna win!" Gavin's all the way at the back!
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: Oh hey, I found it.
Michael: I wooon!
Geoff: Alright, you guys up at the top?
Gavin: Yeah.
Geoff: Alright, wait till I get up there. Nobody has any fuckin' tools or anything, right?
Gavin: No.
Ray: Uhhh...
Geoff: Gotta play fair.
Ray: Uhhh...
Michael: I have silk.
Ray: Oh yeah, you have spider wool.
Geoff: Yeah, that's- Throw it away.
Michael: Uh!
Geoff: Let's be fair.
Geoff: Alright, you see the four blocks?
Gavin: Yeah.
Ray: Alright.
Geoff: Fuckin' go!
Ray: Ah fuck. Again with this?
Michael: Whoa!
Ray: Ah fuck. Again with this?
Michael: I was throwing things!
Ray: Ah fuck. Again with this?
Geoff: First to bedrock!
Geoff: Then we'll do diamond next.
Geoff: If it goes-
Michael: I don't- I don't even see my block!
Michael: I don't- I don't even see my block!
Michael: Oh, there it is.
Ray: Yeah, you have to pick a block.
Ray: Yeah, you have to pick a block.
Geoff: Boy, you can't mine for shit with sand.
Ray: No.
[Michael snorting]
[Michael snorting]
Geoff: Does anybody got any trees or anything?
Michael: Is there- Is there some fuckin' competition?
Ray: Ah fuck, dude, It's not even daytime yet! I'm afraid to go get a...
Michael: Is there- Is there some fuckin' competition?
Ray: Ah fuck, dude, It's not even daytime yet! I'm afraid to go get a...
Ray: Fuckin' a... Tools.
Michael: Dude, there is shit everywhere out there.
Ray: Oh, there- Yeah.
Michael: There's Creepers and shit.
Ray: So, Michael our holes are right next to each other.
Michael: Nice.
Geoff: FUCK!!
Geoff: Was that you, Gavin!?
Gavin: No!
Geoff: Did you fuckin' kill me!?
Gavin: No, of course not!
Michael: OH CRAP!!
Gavin: No, of course not!
Michael: I got blown up by something.
Ray: Alright, I'm makin' a wall that separates our holes.
Geoff: Ah!!
[Michael sighing]
Geoff: Skeleton!
Michael: No idea where I am.
Geoff: Get away!
Michael: Oh, I spawned back in a fucking pit.
[Ray laughs]
Ray: I see you. You just have to climb back to the hill.
Michael: I have to climb all the way back up to fucking dig all the way back down where I'm fucking currently standing.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I have to climb all the way back up to fucking dig all the way back down where I'm fucking currently standing.
Michael: I have to climb all the way back up to fucking dig all the way back down where I'm fucking currently standing.
Geoff: Don't die again.
Michael: Thanks.
Geoff: There's no wood! There's no tools!
Michael: OHHH!! I'VE DONE IT!! I did the exact same thing as I did in the last game in the exact same spot!
[Ray laughing]
Michael: OHHH!! I'VE DONE IT!! I did the exact same thing as I did in the last game in the exact same spot!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I'm caught in a river again!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Sh- Shit.
Ray: Th- There's, uh... There's trees. I see a lot of trees I just don't-
Ray: Th- There's, uh... There's trees. I see a lot of trees I just don't-
Michael: Shit.
Ray: What the fuck are you doing in my hole?
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: You're a- You're a bad person.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: What-
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: Was he willing it?
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: What- What'd you...?
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: What- What happened?
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: How did I blow up?
[Gavin chuckling]
Michael: I got a pig.
Gavin: I went...
Gavin: I went Creeper fishing!
Ray: Oh, okay. That's alright.
Geoff: Ah! I fuckin' fell down my hole and died!
[Ray and Gavin laughing]
Geoff: How did- What? How does that kill me!?
Ray: Gavin, you realize bringin' a Creeper to my hole is helping me, right? 'Cuz it's just digging for me.
Gavin: Oh.
Geoff: Yeah.
Ray: You dumb shit.
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: Yeah, you're-
Michael: Got you there, Ray, you idiot.
Ray: Yeah, fuckin' best player on my team, Gavin.
Ray: Yeah, fuckin' best player on my team, Gavin.
Michael: Wow, I'm getting my fuckin' face fucked by a bunch of archer skeletons.
Michael: Wow, I'm getting my fuckin' face fucked by a bunch of archer skeletons.
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: Wow, I'm getting my fuckin' face fucked by a bunch of archer skeletons.
Michael: Wow, I'm getting my fuckin' face fucked by a bunch of archer skeletons.
Michael: I'm screwed.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Oh, I'm fuckin' dead. Shocking.
Gavin: What were they doing to your face?
Michael: They were fucking it, Gavin. With arrows.
Ray: Oh hey, I found my hole again.
Michael: Oh look, I'm fucking back in the water!
Ray: Oh my God! 
Michael: Oh look, I'm fucking back in the water!
Ray: There's a Creep- Oh hey, Creeper, come in here.
Michael: Just fucking splish-splash.
Geoff: Hoh, God!
Ray: Working here, Kara.
Geoff: Where's a fuck-
Ray: OH FUCK!!
Geoff: What's wrong, Ray?
Michael: Dude...
Michael: ...There's a pig.
Geoff: Has anybody won yet?
Michael: No.
Gavin: Has anybody started yet?
Michael: Ray, c'mon. Let's... Y'know.
Geoff: Uh, no.
Ray: I'm sorry. Focus, right.
Ray: I'm sorry. Focus, right.
Gavin: Ahh!!
Michael: You got a box of shit.
Ray: I just got a package.
Geoff: No!
Michael: It's a box.
Ray: Alright, so, uh, I fell on a Creeper and he blew up so that kinda...
Ray: It's kinda helpful.
Geoff: Get away from me, zombie!
Ray: It's been night for, like, fifteen minutes!
Ray: Switch already!
Michael: Argh, fuck off, you skeletal fucktard!
Michael: Argh, fuck off, you skeletal fucktard!
Geoff: Jesus.
Michael: Goddammit!
Ray: Why is there a Creeper always on my ass?
Gavin: Ahh! Balls!
Ray: Why is there a Creeper always on my ass?
Gavin: Ahh! Balls!
Michael: I'm trying to get some fucking wood and this jerkoff won't leave me alone!
Michael: I'm trying to get some fucking wood and this jerkoff won't leave me alone!
Gavin: Oh pap!
Geoff: Fuck, I'm dead again! Goddammit!
Geoff: Fuck, I'm dead again! Goddammit!
Ray: What the fuck!?
Geoff: Where am I!?
Ray: Where's my hole?
Ray: Oh, is it...?
Ray: Oh wait, this is my hole. This is my hole.
Michael: I'm gonna fist-fight the shit out of this fucking skeleton. C'mere!
Ray: Gavin, get outta my hole.
Michael: I'm gonna fist-fight the shit out of this fucking skeleton. C'mere!
Michael: I'm gonna fist-fight the shit out of this fucking skeleton. C'mere!
Micheal: C'mere, you motherf-
Michael: Oh God, there's two of 'em!
Ray: I'm not even sure if Gavin's hitting me or it's just there's twenty seven thousand enemies that are everywhere.
Michael: FUCK!!
Ray: I'm not even sure if Gavin's hitting me or it's just there's twenty seven thousand enemies that are everywhere.
Ray: I'm not even sure if Gavin's hitting me or it's just there's twenty seven thousand enemies that are everywhere.
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: I've died about seven times so far.
Geoff: Yeah, I've died a hundred times.
Michael: I've died about seven times so far.
Michael: Can I ride this pig without a saddle?
Geoff: Definitely a large degree of difficulty...
Ray and Gavin: No.
Geoff: Definitely a large degree of difficulty...
Geoff: Definitely a large degree of difficulty...
Michael: On Hard?
Geoff: On Hard.
Michael: At night?
Ray: Sweet cheat code makin' it fuckin' night-time forever.
Michael: What are the odds?
Ray: Sweet cheat code makin' it fuckin' night-time forever.
Ray: Sweet cheat code makin' it fuckin' night-time forever.
[Michael snorts]
Ray: Just got fuckin' rammed in the ass by an arrow. That was good.
Gavin: [Laughs] Down your hole?
Ray: Fuckin' in the hole, down nothing.
Michael: Mmgh! C'mon.
Michael: Fuck you-fuck you-fuck you-fuck you-fuck you. Fuck you.
Gavin: Alright, I'm gonna start...
Michael: These guys are fucking...
Gavin: AHH!!
Michael: ...Tough.
Gavin: God...
Michael: Mmrgh!
Michael: Like, I wish they had a fucking health bar!
Ray: Hey, what's goin' on over here?
Michael: Like, I wish they had a fucking health bar!
Geoff: Hey, get away!
Michael: Like, I wish they had a fucking health bar!
Ray: What's going on over here?
Michael: Fuck you! At least I fucking killed one.
Geoff: Get away!
Michael: Fuck you! At least I fucking killed one.
Ray: What's going on over here, huh?
Geoff: Leave me alone, asshole!
Ray: You got some stuff?
Gavin: What's Geoff...?
Ray: You got some stuff you want to share?
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: You got some stuff you want to share?
Gavin: What's Geoff playin' at?
Geoff: Leave me alone!
Ray: No!
Geoff: OH YOU PRICK!! FUCK YOU!! WHERE'D YOU GO!?!
Michael: Ohh shit!
Geoff: WHERE ARE YOU!?! WHERE ARE YOU, RAY!?!
Geoff: WHERE ARE YOU!?! WHERE ARE YOU, RAY!?!
Ray: You killed me! You killed me.
Geoff: You fuckin' m-m-
Ray: Oh, what the fuck is goin' on down here!?
Geoff: I don't even know where I was!
Ray: I found the fuckin' Black Lagoon over here.
Geoff: I spawned on a fuckin'- On top of a tree and I was set!
[Ray laughing]
[Michael laughing]
Geoff: And you fuckin'-
Geoff: How'd you find me!? And why'd you kill me!?
Ray: I saw your fuckin' name over the crafting table on my-
Gavin: AH!! AH!!
Ray: I saw your fuckin' name over the crafting table on my-
Gavin: Michael!!
Ray: Hey, it's day-time now!
Michael: Dude, don't take my fuckin' wood, Gavin, I need that!
Gavin: Michael!
Michael: Dude, don't take my fuckin' wood, Gavin, I need that!
Gavin: Don't be a pleb!
Michael: What!?
Ray: A plaid? Like the design?
Michael: What the fuck are you talkin' about? Get back here!
Gavin: Ahh! Zombie attack!
Michael: Get over- Oh, you're fucked!
Gavin: Ahh! Zombie attack!
Gavin: Zombie attack! [Laughs]
[Michael laughing]
[Ray laughing]
Gavin: You ran me into my untimely death!
Michael: I know! Like, I ran Gavin into a spider and two Creepers!
Ray: Okay.
Gavin: Ohhh...
Ray: I see everybody's hole. Michael and, uh...
Ray: I see everybody's hole. Michael and, uh...
Gavin: Pap!
Michael: Gavin has.
Ray: ...My hole have merged.
Gavin: Oo!
Michael: I have made no progress.
Michael: I have made no progress.
Ray: Well actually, you have. Because a Creep-
Ray: Like, six Creepers went into the fuckin' hole so it's like a big, like, crater now, so...
Gavin: Bloody, I am-
Ray: Like, six Creepers went into the fuckin' hole so it's like a big, like, crater now, so...
Ray: Like, six Creepers went into the fuckin' hole so it's like a big, like, crater now, so...
Michael: It's like a loose vagina?
Ray: Hey, I found somebody's map. Heyyy!
Michael: I'm dead again. Fuck.
Ray: Hey, I found somebody's map. Heyyy!
Geoff: Okay.
Ray: Hey, I got-
Michael: What the hell?
Ray: Wooden pickaxes.
Gavin: Did you win again?
Gavin: Have you won?
Ray: Fuck, dude.
Michael: Where the hell am I!?
Ray: Spiders don't-
Michael: Why do they keep putting me underground!?
Geoff: I don't even know where the start is.
Geoff: Where the hole- Where the hole-
Michael: I'M GETTING HIT UNDERGROUND TOO!?!
Geoff: Where the hole- Where the hole-
Michael: I'M GETTING HIT UNDERGROUND TOO!?!
Michael: I spawned underground and I got fucking killed by a skeleton.
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: Where's the fuckin'...? Ray, where's the start?
Ray: Where's the st- I have no idea.
Gavin: Uhh, is it up here?
Ray: Uhh, I'm lagging. That's not good.
Geoff: Where is it?
Gavin: No, here it is, this is it.
Ray: Actually, no, no, we're fine.
Gavin: This is it. This is the hole.
Ray: Blocks are appearing and reappearing.
Geoff: Where?
Ray: Blocks are appearing and reappearing.
Michael: 'Cuz you're the only one up there.
Geoff: Where are you, Gavin?
Gavin: Dow- Going down to the bedrock.
Gavin: Where are you going?
Ray: Why are Creepers still alive? It's fuckin' day-time.
Michael: Ooooh! Bedrock-going!
Michael: Yeah, okay. We'll see, we'll see.
Michael: Dude, I fuckin' got a piece of a tree and then I died and I don't know where- Where it is.
Michael: I don't know where it-
Michael: Oh, I hit the button. There you go.
Michael: Look at that.
Michael: Gonna need this.
Gavin: It's like The Flintstones over here.
Ray: Nice.
Michael: What?
Ray: Is that the one with George Jetson?
Gavin: Goin' to Bedrock.
Michael: Yeah, it is.
Ray: Okay, cool. Nice.
Ray: Fuckin' stop texting me.
Michael: Dude, you're a popular guy, Ray.
Ray: Yeah, my dad wants to talk to me really badly.
Michael: He wants to know if you fuckin' found bedrock!
Ray: Shout out to my dad.
Michael: He wants to know if you fuckin' found bedrock!
Ray: Ray Narvaez Senior.
Gavin: Your dad's called Ray, Ray?
Ray: No, it's not "Ray-Ray" it's just one 'Ray'.
[Michael and Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Toolbox.
Ray: He- He's not an asshole!
Ray: He- He's not an asshole!
Geoff: His dad's called 'One Ray'.
Ray: Yeah. [Laughs]
[Gavin laughing]
Michael: One Ray. One life.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: For reals.
Geoff: Gavin is, uh- Hey, if anybody wants to fuck with Gavin, I'd, y'know...
Michael: I- Yeah. No, no. Definitely.
Geoff: Why am I diggin' with a stick when I have a fuckin' pickaxe!?
Ray: Again?
Michael: I'm just-
Ray: How did you not learn?
Geoff: God!
Ray: How did you not learn?
Geoff: Damn.
Michael: How do you have a pickaxe!?
Geoff: Nothing. No one. Shut up.
Ray: OH SHIT!!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: What the f-
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: AH-HOH!!
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Bloody 'ell!
[Geoff laughing]
Geoff: I...
Gavin: That was really weird! The- The world lit up and then Ray hit me in the mouth!
Gavin: That was really weird! The- The world lit up and then Ray hit me in the mouth!
Geoff: I just...
Geoff: I saw...
Geoff: I'm watchin'- I'm diggin'-
Geoff: I'm digging down and I see Gavin's little fuckin' red bar and then suddenly Ray's just goes,
Geoff: "ZOOOM!!"
[Michael laughs]
[Gavin laughs]
Ray: I'm digging where my crater is and I dig, like, one block and I fuckin' fall to, like...
Gavin: I was...
Ray: I'm digging where my crater is and I dig, like, one block and I fuckin' fall to, like...
Ray: I'm digging where my crater is and I dig, like, one block and I fuckin' fall to, like...
Gavin: I was digging in pitch black...
Ray: ...Satan's asshole.
Gavin: I was digging in pitch black...
Gavin: I was digging in pitch black, my whole shaft lit up and Ray came screaming towards me!
Michael: You're a shaft.
Gavin: I was digging in pitch black, my whole shaft lit up and Ray came screaming towards me!
Ray: I hate when your shaft lights up.
Michael: That's the worst.
[Gavin laughs]
Ray: Did you take any damage from that?
Gavin: What, you landing on my head?
Ray: Yeah.
Gavin: No.
Ray: Okay.
Gavin: It was a mild inconvenience.
Gavin: Actually, it was a convenience 'cos the light's on now.
Gavin: I can see what...
Michael: Changes his mind, it was a total convenience.
Michael: Changes his mind, it was a total convenience.
Geoff: I had..
Michael: Changes his mind, it was a total convenience.
Geoff: I had- I thought for a minute I'd have light, but it's not gonna happen.
Ray: Oh shit!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Oh!
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Bloody 'ell!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I may have done the done thing!
Geoff: I saw it again!
Gavin: [Laughs] I just got nudged.
Ray: I'm really fuckin' dumb!
Gavin: Ah, I found coal!
Ray: I'm really fuckin' dumb!
Gavin: Who's jealous?
Ray: Coal? That's great.
Michael: [Voice cracked] Not me.
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Okay, buddy.
Ray: It's gonna be great when I do the same thing three times in a row.
Geoff: How fuckin' far down are you, Gavin?
Ray: He's pretty far down.
Gavin: Uhhh...
Gavin: Like, all the way down.
Geoff: All- All the way down to what?
Gavin: Um...
Ray: He's- I mean, he's finding coal and stuff so he's getting pretty close.
Ray: He's- I mean, he's finding coal and stuff so he's getting pretty close.
[Gavin laughs]
Gavin: Idiot.
Gavin: Coal's on the surface, you dope.
Michael: Whoa.
Ray: It was clearly sarcasm.
Geoff: How can you see so...?
Ray: It was clearly sarcasm.
Geoff: How can you see?
Gavin: What do you mean? The light's on.
Geoff: Ohh.
Gavin: Ray opened my...
Ray: Yeah.
Gavin: ...Sky-light and then came clattering into the back.
Gavin: ...Sky-light and then came clattering into the back.
Michael: "The light's one"!
Gavin: ...Sky-light and then came clattering into the back.
Geoff: Must be nice. My screen is just black.
Geoff: With one ray- One little red strip of red.
Gavin: One Ray?
Michael: One ray of sunshine.
Ray: Yeah, I'm Ray.
Michael: I don't know which hole's mine by the way, Ray.
Ray: Uh, it's this big crater.
Michael: Okay.
Gavin: Ohh, redstone! Get out of my way!
Gavin: Ohh, redstone! Get out of my way!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Which one, though?
Michael: The one you're filling?
Gavin: What?
Gavin: OH!! OHH!! OHHH!!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: OH!! OHH!! OHHH!!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Yes!
Gavin: No! No-no-no-no-no-no!
Ray: Yes!
Gavin: No! No-no-no-no-no-no!
Gavin: No! No-no-no-no-no-no!
Geoff: What'd you do, Ray?
Gavin: Ohh! I've became dead!
Gavin: Ohh! I've became dead!
Ray: I put, uh- I put sand in the hole that I fell in.
Michael: Seriously, which one is my hole?
Ray: I put, uh- I put sand in the hole that I fell in.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Seriously, which one is my hole?
Ray: I put, uh- I put sand in the hole that I fell in.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Seriously, which one is my hole?
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: I don't know which one to go down.
Ray: Yes!
Michael: I don't know which one to go down.
Ray: My plan went perfectly!
Michael: Does it matter?
Geoff: Oh, that's awesome, dude.
Ray: Alright, so Gavin's dead.
Geoff: Oh, that's awesome, dude.
Ray: Alright, so Gavin's dead.
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Does it matter where we go down? I can't tell at this point.
Ray: Right now it's - It's just a big crater where our, uh, our holes were.
Geoff: Just go down.
Ray: Right now it's - It's just a big crater where our, uh, our holes were.
Gavin: Ray just choked me.
Ray: So there's one-
Michael: OHHHHHHHH!!
Ray: Did you find the Gavin hole to, like, the end of the world?
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Did you find the Gavin hole to, like, the end of the world?
Ray: Did you find the Gavin hole to, like, the end of the world?
Michael: Yeah!
Ray: Yeah, that's, uh... Good luck getting down there.
Michael: Yeah, good luck 'cuz there's a shitload of goodies down there.
Ray: Yeah.
[Gavin laughing]
[Ray laughs]
Geoff: I can't tell if I'm actually going down.
Gavin: Oops!
Geoff: I can't tell if I'm actually going down.
Michael: I literally fell about forty thousand feet.
Ray: Gavin was so far down it took, like, five seconds for the block to even get down there.
[Gavin laughing]
Geoff: I have the blackest screen ever.
Ray: C'mon!
Geoff: I have the blackest screen ever.
Ray: C'mon Geoff! Calm down over there.
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Wh-Why are you black?
Ray: What? Why who's black? Michael? It's a random skin.
Gavin: Not- No!
Gavin: Wow.
Michael: Mmrgh!
Gavin: Were you trying to build...?
Michael: Yes!
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: Oh fuck.
Geoff: Oh, I think I may have found bedrock.
Geoff: Oh, I think I won!
Michael: No!
Ray: Geoff, d'you win?
Geoff: I think I won.
Ray: Did you?
Michael: Geoff, he can't tell because he can't see what colour it is.
Michael: Geoff, he can't tell because he can't see what colour it is.
Geoff: I can't see.
Michael: It's all black.
Gavin: AHP!! OHH!!
[Michael laughing]
Gavin: Someone's ruined my shaft. It's completely unusable.
Geoff: Yah, I've won. I've won.
Ray: Nice, Geoff.
Geoff: Does anybody have, uh...
Geoff: ...A light so that we can verify?
[Michael laughing]
Ray: That's bullshit! I'm lookin' at Geoff's screen, it's pure black and a white crosshair.
Gavin: Alright, someone...
Ray: "I won!"
Michael: How're- How'd you win!?
Michael: You can't see anything!
Geoff: I can't go down any further.
Gavin: Someone...
Geoff: Alright, look at my screen.
Gavin: Someone knock out his skylight so he can see.
Geoff: That's bedrock, right?
Gavin: Someone knock out his skylight so he can see.
Ray: Well, actually...
Gavin: Someone knock out his skylight so he can see.
Ray: Are you using a wooden pickaxe? 'Cuz there's some shit you can't mine with a wooden pickaxe.
Geoff: Uhh...
Gavin: Nah, you can mine it you just can't get it.
Ray: Oh really?
Geoff: Yeah.
Gavin: You can break it.
Ray: Okay, so maybe you did win.
Geoff: I think I did.
Gavin: Where...?
Gavin: Where is Geoff?
Ray: Ah, he's somewhere not by this fuckin' mess.
Gavin: You didn't even go down to your hole- Hole- Your hole, Geoff. You went down a...
Michael: Dammit!
Gavin: You didn't even go down to your hole- Hole- Your hole, Geoff. You went down a...
Geoff: Yeah, I did.
Gavin: You didn't even go down to your hole- Hole- Your hole, Geoff. You went down a...
Gavin: Where are you, then?
Geoff: I'm down my hole.
Michael: I've fallen down a hole so many fuckin' times this game!
Geoff: What I fuckin' did is I blocked my hole so that nobody would attack me.
Michael: I've fallen down a hole so many fuckin' times this game!
Geoff: What I fuckin' did is I blocked my hole so that nobody would attack me.
Gavin: So is this your-
Gavin: AHHH!! AHHHH!!
[Geoff and Ray laughing]
Michael: Jesus!
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Oh my God, I'm so glad I saw that!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: You've got sand...
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: On...
Gavin: You've got sand in the way.
Ray: On my screen- On my screen I'm filling this hole with sand so I can fuckin' dig down and I see Gavin,
Ray: On my screen- On my screen I'm filling this hole  with sand so I can fuckin' dig down and I see Gavin,
Ray: "AHHH!!"
[Gavin laughing]
[Geoff laughing]
Geoff: I'm declaring myself the winner.
Ray: Alright.
Ray: Good job, Geoff.
Gavin: Well, why don't you trash your ceiling and see if you did win?
Gavin: Well, why don't you trash your ceiling and see if you did win?
Michael: Urgh!
Geoff: I- 'Cuz I can't go back up.
Geoff: Somebody open up my ceiling.
Gavin: Uh, well I would but there's bloody...
Ray: Uhhh...
Gavin: Uh, well I would but there's bloody...
Ray: Where are you?
Gavin: You put a block halfway down and it, uh...
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Urhp-Ung!
[Geoff laughing]
Michael: Are you alright, there? Did you vomit in your own mouth?
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: I had a...
Michael: "You put a block- Urhghlugrghugrhh!"
Michael: "You put a block- Urhghlugrghugrhh!"
Gavin: I had some sort of...
Ray: I'm...
Gavin: ...Throatal scrotage.
Ray: ...In a bad area.
Ray: ...In a bad area.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: I'm in-
Michael: Ray, you're outta Queens, you're in Austin now.
Ray: Yeah, well...
Michael: Ray, you're outta Queens, you're in Austin now.
Ray: This is true.
Geoff: Yeah, no, I'm definitely at bedrock.
Ray: Okay.
Ray: You win, Geoff.
Geoff: Yeah, I'm definitely...
Geoff: I've definitely won!
Geoff: Alright, excellent! Alright, now...
Gavin: Round Three?
Ray: Can I see what's in my stat page?
Michael: Do it.
Ray: Can I see what's in my stat page?
Geoff: Round Three...
Gavin: Urghhhhh!
Ray: Good noise.
Gavin: What's your best zombie noise?
Ray: I don't have one.
Gavin: Oh.
Michael: Just...
Geoff: Ah fuck.
Ray: Sorry to disappoint you.
Michael: Is that a question you have pre-loaded?
Michael: Is that a question you have pre-loaded?
Michael: For, like, people that you meet?
Gavin: Yeah, I- I loaded it in just now and then I shot it right at you.
Michael: Yeah, well you didn't 'cuz you asked Ray not me.
Gavin: I just- I was aiming at you, I just missed and got Ray.
Michael: Oh.
Ray: Collateral damage.
Geoff: I regret hiring you guys sometimes.
[Laughter]
