

### The Spur of The Moment

Marcia Lee Laycock

Copyright 2002, 2009, 2013

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."  
Hebrews 10:24

Smashwords Edition

Spur of the Moment

Copyright ©2013, Marcia Laycock

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system of transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or any other – except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author.

Some portions of this book have previously appeared in The Ponoka News, Living light News and on the world wide web. All rights remain with the author.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise specified are from the NIV, The Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked, The Message are from The Message, copyright© by Eugene Peterson, 1993,1994,1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright© 1996. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton IL 60187. All rights reserved.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Laycock, Marcia Lee, 1951-

Spur of the moment / Marcia Lee Laycock. -- 2nd ed.

ISBN 978-0-9813588-0-2

1. Devotional literature, Canadian (English). I. Title.

For permission to use, please contact:

VineMarc Communications,

Box 637

Blackfalds Alberta

Canada T0M 0J0

<http://marcialeelaycock.com/>

Cover Illustration by Laura Wells laurasta85@gmail.com

Formattiing by RikHall.com

Dedication

This book is dedicated with love to my husband, Spence and my daughters, Kate, Laura and Meagan, who have always helped to spur me on in every way.

With thanks also to the executive and members of Inscribe Christian Writers' Fellowship Without you my words would never have seen the printed page.

Also a special thank you to my mentor and friend, Gus Henne whose encouragement launched my publishing career.

# Searching For Something That Fits

John 15:9

There's a beach on the north shore of Lake Superior that fascinated me as a child. It was a bit hard to get to, unless you had a boat, because the only land access was up over the back of a high cliff. My brother and I made the trek often and would spend hours on that beach, searching. It was a pebble beach, its entire length strewn with rounded stones of all sizes and colors. My favourites were black. They absorbed the heat from the sun and felt warm and comforting when you held them in the palm of your hand. I spent hours searching for the perfect stone, the stone that fit my hand as though it had been cut from it. Sometimes I was successful, but more often than not, I walked away from that beach, dissatisfied. I would carry a stone or two around for a while, but usually drop it, in favor of another that looked more promising. Sometimes I'd take one home, to add my collection.

As I think back on my life since those days of childhood, I realize much of it was spent searching in that same way. Just as I searched for that perfect stone, I searched for something in life that fit, something I could hold onto, that would bring me satisfaction and fulfillment. I picked up a lot of stones that didn't fit: jobs, hobbies, diversions, even friends and closer relationships. All were efforts to fill the void in my life. All were attempts to find something that fit. Like my search for the perfect stone on the shore, I was never totally satisfied.

It was not until many years later that I discovered I was going about it all wrong. I was trying to fit something external to my shape, my way of thinking, my way of dealing with life. It wasn't until I turned to spiritual things that I realized I was the one who had to fit. I was the small round stone that had fallen away and had to find its place again, in God's hand. In John 15, Jesus tells us how to do that. He says: "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." (John 15:9) He also says, "Abide in me."

Abiding is effortless. It's a simple act of rest. Jesus is saying, live in me. Live as though you were being held in the palm of God's hand. There is no safer place, no place that offers more comfort and peace, no place that gives more satisfaction and sense of fulfillment. You are the stone. Jesus is holding out His hand, waiting for you to curl up in it. It's the place where you will always fit.

# Preparing for the Housekeeper

Romans 5:8

My Mom had a stroke several years ago and it left her in a position where she had to hire someone to come into her home to do the housework. Although she accepted that fact fairly well, she could not stop herself from preparing for the housekeeper every time she was scheduled to come. My sister discovered this one day when she stopped by unexpectedly and found her with the mop in her one good hand, attempting to wash the kitchen floor. When my sister asked why she was doing it, my Mom replied. "I can't let my housekeeper see how dirty this floor is!" It took quite a while for my sister to convince her that the housekeeper had been hired to clean and my Mom should relax and let her do the job.

In the same way, people try to clean up their lives before they feel they can ask God to come in. They want to get their lives in order first, somehow believing it to be necessary, perhaps thinking God could never accept them the way they are. The problem with this strategy is that they never will be ready. Our lives can never be clean enough for God, unless we have accepted Jesus first. Jesus comes in and house-cleans so that we are presentable to His Father.

All of us have "sinned." That very unpopular word is a part of our very being, even though we want to deny it. Yet we are loved. Yet we are drawn to that love. Romans 5:8 says: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." He didn't wait until we had cleaned up "our act." He didn't wait until the world was ready to accept Him. He came into a hostile environment, willingly accepted torture and death, because He wanted us to be able to walk freely into the presence of God.

It doesn't matter what you have done or are doing. It doesn't matter where you live or who you associate with. You can come before God now, by accepting the sacrifice Jesus made for you, by acknowledging that you are a sinner and that He died to wipe away that sin. Don't bother trying to mop the floor before the housekeeper comes. It's His job to do the cleaning.

# Will You Open The Gift?

Romans 6:23

Jane's life had been hard. She had been raised in poverty and had suffered much, both as a child and as an adult. She allowed bitterness to consume her and over the years she had become emotionally unstable. Though she often acted irrationally, her daughter and son-in-law loved her and kept trying to accommodate her. It wasn't easy. Christmas was a particularly hard time for everyone. Jane insisted she did not want any presents, though she bought gifts to give each family member. The family wanted to buy things for her and knew if they did not, Jane would at some point accuse them of not loving her. So there were always gifts for her, wrapped and tied with bows, arranged with the others under the tree. But Jane refused to open them. The gifts remained in a pile in her room, unopened from one Christmas to the next. Eventually she would give them away, still wrapped, with her name on the tags.

One year, on a cold day just after the 25th, Jane was going out. Her coat was old and thin, her gloves were torn and her small scarf didn't give much warmth. As she was getting ready to go, her daughter stopped her and said gently, "Mom, there is a new coat in one of the boxes in your room, and new gloves and a warm wool scarf. Please, accept them. We bought them for you to use because we love you." Jane stiffened her back and turned her head away."I don't feel the cold,"

she said. She pulled on her thin coat and torn gloves, tucked the small scarf around her neck, and left the house.

Many of us leave our gifts unopened. Because of deep pain in our lives, we refuse to trust God, we refuse to accept the very things that will comfort and heal us. We step into the world unprepared for the attacks that will come, believing we are invincible, believing we can do it on our own. If you have not accepted Jesus as your brother, your friend, your saviour, you have left a priceless gift unopened. The gift of relationship with Jesus is offered to you at no cost. All you have to do is say yes. Yes, I feel the cold of trying to make life work all on my own. Yes, I feel the cold of not knowing Jesus. Yes, I need God. Christmas is an opportunity to celebrate the gift of God's Son. Don't stiffen your back and turn your face away from the manger. Bend toward Him. Open the gift.

# Take The Risk

Matthew 23:27

When my daughter Katie was about two years old we went on a family picnic near a small dam. After enjoying our meal, we walked along the riverbank and approached an old bridge spanning the spillway where the water rushed in a torrent below us. As we walked, my husband took Katie's hand but she pulled away with the words, "By alone, Daddy, by alone." Her desire for independence was asserting itself. Watching her closely, we allowed her to wander. She obviously enjoyed the freedom. As we stepped out onto the bridge, however, her attitude changed. She moved closer to her Dad, peering down at the roaring foam below. We took another few steps and suddenly her little hand reached up to grasp hold of her father's. Suddenly her independence didn't seem quite as important as her need to feel safe, her need to know her father was there.

We all have the same need, but sometimes we are afraid to believe there's a hand there waiting to be grasped. It's a risk that can be terrifying - like swinging out over a gorge on a rope, not knowing if the other end is attached to anything. It's a risk some refuse to take and by making that choice forfeit all that God has to offer them. In small ways, we all make that choice every day. We go about our business "by alone" and miss being in the presence of the Father. We refuse to hold His hand, choosing instead to hold onto convictions, causes, passions that make us believe we are good, useful and significant.

Jesus had some very strong words to say to those who operated this way in his day. He called them whitewashed tombs, full of dead mens bones (Matthew 23:27). The alternative He offers is a life dependent on Him, centred on Him, passionate about Him. It's a life sustained by the source of all life, not by man-made rules and restraints. Rules and restraints are necessary to function within society - imagine the chaos trying to drive in a city with no traffic lights to regulate the flow. But when we put our trust, hope and faith entirely in a man-made system, we reject God. The result of that rejection is spiritual death. We may look good on the outside but inside an essential element is missing. We can have so much more. All we have to do is reach out and take our Father's hand. Take the risk.

# Way to Grow

Philippians 3:12; Ephesians 3:15

I remember as a child watching my father plant a shrub at the front of our house. I was excited - it was a flowering bush that bloomed profusely every year. Every day I watered the fragile and rather dead looking stick, but as spring eased its way into summer, the shrub struggled to survive. Only a few small leaves appeared. They did not have time to mature before the cool autumn evenings arrived and they withered away. My dad must have noticed my disappointment, because he assured me the shrub would do better. "Be patient," he said. "In time it will grow into itself."

All winter I pictured the huge thriving, blossom-covered bush I knew it would become. The next spring, I watered and watched. New buds appeared, the leaves popped out and some even matured, but the fall was upon it again before it could bloom. "Be patient," my dad said. Another winter of picturing the future. Finally, in the third season, the bush burst into full leaf and then into blossoms so heavy its thin branches could barely hold them. The next season it "grew into itself" and became a healthy mature plant.

Our spiritual growth is often a lot like my father's bush. And our attitudes are often like mine were, as a child. I was not patient. I wanted instant maturity, something pleasing to look at, something of which I could be proud. We tend to demand that of ourselves and of others. "If she were a real Christian she would..." or, "How can I call myself a Christian when I..." Yet even the apostle Paul, considered a giant of the faith in his own time and today, said, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me" (Philippians 3:12).

Becoming a Christian does not equal instant goodness, kindness, patience and honesty. Becoming a Christian equals a place from which to start. It's a fragile and almost dead stick slowly maturing into a vibrant and beautiful plant. All of us are still "...growing up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ" (Ephesians 3:15). The exciting thing is, God knows what we will become. He keeps the picture of that mature, healthy, blooming person always before Him, even when we look like a dead stick. He knows the reality of who we are, in Christ. So be patient, with yourselves and with others, and know that the season of maturity is yet to come.

# A Baseball Story

Acts 1:4,5; Isaiah 40:31

Things were looking good for the home team. There was a runner on first and third and Mark, our number one hitter, was up to bat. No-one was surprised when he hit a powerful line drive and we all stood up to cheer as the first runner made it to home plate. We began to chant Mark's name as he charged past second base, but our chant quickly turned to groans as we saw him also charge by the girl jogging to third base ahead of him! Mark was

so determined to make it home he did not even see her. We couldn't help but laugh at his look of shock when the umpire declared him "out" at home plate!

Sometimes our zeal as Christians is a lot like Mark's drive for home base. We see the goal ahead and think we know how to get there, so we charge on, unmindful of the damage we may be doing along the way. In Acts 1:4&5, Jesus gives his followers a command –"Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."

The Disciples of Christ had a great deal of work to do, and, after seeing the resurrected Jesus, no doubt they were eager to get at it. However, their efforts would have ended in failure had they tried to do it by their own strength. They could never have endured the persecution and difficult circumstances ahead of them had they not been filled with the Spirit of God. The same is true for us today. We cannot do the work He has for us to do, unless we have come before Him to receive His grace and the power of His spirit. Charging ahead of God will net the same result as Mark's run for home base - the work we do will count for nothing, and we will exhaust ourselves with the effort.

In Isaiah 40:31, the prophet says – "but those who hope (or wait) in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

# "Though My Father Forsake Me..."

Psalm 27:10

The man's face is handsome, but the expression is as cold as though sculpted in ice. The eyes are flat and do not move as the interviewer begins asking questions.

"How many people have you killed?"

The face does not change as he shrugs and answers. "Dunno. Hundreds, maybe."

"You were eleven years old the first time?"

"Yeah. They gave me an automatic and told me to take down as many as I could. That was my initiation into the gang."

The camera continues to hold on the man's face. Throughout the interview he remains stoic, unmoving, unmoved by the horror he describes. Then the camera pans back and the interviewer leans forward to ask his next question.

"Tell me about your father. He's a famous man."

The camera is just in time to catch the reaction. The man's eyes narrow, the upper lip seems to curl. "I hate him."

"Why?"

"He was never there, all those years I was on the street. He never came, never."

As the interviewer continues to draw out the story, the man's face slowly changes, begins to soften, to tremble now and then. Finally, tears are slipping down his cheeks. He fights for control but loses.

As I watched this interview, I was struck by what I had just seen - a cold, hardened killer, reduced to tears because of the rejection of his father. It was a powerful picture of how important fathers are to their children, how necessary their love and acceptance, how vital their presence both physically and emotionally. In the real world, few of us have known the kind of security that exists when our fathers are present in every way. Some of us have known what it's like to be completely without a father. All of us, at one time or another, have felt rejected or at least disappointed by our fathers. Nobody's perfect. People will always fail us.

How we choose to respond to that pain can be a deciding factor in our lives. We can respond with rage, as the man being interviewed did, or we can choose to draw close to another source of security and love, our Heavenly Father. His love will never fail us, He will never abandon us. In Hebrews 13:5, He says it plainly, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." We can, like the Psalmist, David, declare, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me" (Ps.27:10). We can depend on God to fill the need we have for a father, to supply the love, protection and security for which we long.

# A Wrong Turn to The Right Place

Proverbs 19:21

The morning dawned bright with the promise of another blistering hot day. My husband was glad he had gotten up at 5:30 a.m. to begin our trip home after a pleasant stay in one of Idaho's State parks. Most of the driving would be done in the cooler morning hours and he wouldn't have to listen to the moans and groans about not having an air-conditioned R.V. On the outskirts of Spokane, he spotted the sign directing traffic onto Hwy 22 North, and maneuvered our unit easily along the freeway, hours before the congestion of the city's rush hour. Things were going just fine until he saw a sign stating the mileage to the Washington/Idaho border. He thought that was a bit odd since he had just left Idaho, but carried on. A few more pleasant miles down the road he saw another sign saying, Sand Point, 15 miles. Now he knew there was something amiss. Sand Point was in Idaho, only a few miles from where we had started at 5:30 that morning. He pulled over to consult the map.

I heard the groan from my comfort zone in the back. Hwy 22 was the right road, but we were headed in the wrong direction. Hwy 22 North took us in a complete circle back to where we had started. A few miles further into Spokane there was a second exit for Hwy. 22 West which would put us on the road into B.C. More groans. Oh well, at least we were parked in front of a restaurant. Breakfast brightened the mood somewhat until we returned to the camper, which was already heating up like an oven. Repeated attempts to get the key to start the engine resulted in silence. Well, silence from the engine, that is

As my husband checked under the hood, I prayed this would be something simple and cheap to fix. We had to wait two hours before any of the local garages opened up. The mechanic was as mystified as Spence. For some reason the battery was completely dead, but the alternator had been replaced only a couple of days before and seemed to be working well. A couple of hours later a complete check of the system revealed a plug hanging loose. It was jammed in between the wiring and had appeared to be connected but was not. The motor home had been running on the battery and eventually it ran out. Well, it was a simple problem to fix and it was cheap. A little embarrassing, but cheap. In a short time we headed off again, back to Spokane (during rush hour), and Hwy 22 West.

It wasn't until we were out into the rolling, dry country of northern Washington that we realized how God had taken care of us. There were no towns, no cool restaurants, no garages with friendly mechanics on that road. It was miles and miles of open wheat lands, beautiful to watch as we rolled by in the almost-comfort of our hot R.V., but undoubtedly miserable to stare at from a hot R.V. broken down on a narrow shoulder. If we had been on this road when we wanted to be, it would have been an unpleasant and costly experience indeed.

Sometimes our lives take wrong turns. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we end up going in a direction we didn't choose. Knowing God has a plan makes a big difference in how we respond. And He does have a plan, as the writer of Proverbs 19:21 tells us – "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Do you know God's purpose for your life? Does it seem like you're on the wrong road going in the wrong direction? Discover His plan for you and the journey will be joyful.

# A Mountain Experience

Exodus 33:22,23; Psalm 19:1-2

It is said, in ancient times the Japanese worshiped Mt. Fuji as a god. Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa was also revered in times gone by. I thought it absurd that rational people would do such a thing, until one day in Alaska. I was flying from Anchorage to Fairbanks. It was a beautiful day, the plane flying high above a ridge of mountains. The tips of the peaks were far below, looking like a row of up-turned pointed paper cups, the kind you pull from a water fountain dispenser. Pretty, but not terribly impressive. I watched the shadow of our plane slide over them, then slowly move up, as though sliding on a string. My eyes followed it until it was swallowed by cloud. When the plane broke through again, my mind ran full force into something so overwhelming it literally took my breath away. There before us stood Mt. McKinley, its glaciers gleaming in the sun, its base obscured by cloud, its peak rising so high above us I had to slump in my seat to see it. Our plane was now a sliver of tin edging its way by, barely visible beside the immensity of the mountain.

Perhaps I was all the more amazed because I had lived at the base of that mountain for two months. It became so familiar I hardly took notice of it. I did not realize I had only seen its base, the part below the mist & cloud. As I stared, I had a new understanding of why people would worship a mountain. I also had a new understanding of how we fail to see the God who created us. We live at the base of the mountain and most of its beauty is almost always obscured. We cannot see all of God in His majesty and glory.

Moses asked for that privilege and God was gracious. He told Moses to stand on a rock, then said, "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen" (Exodus 33:22,23). Many have wondered why God is so diligent about keeping Himself hidden. As I remember Mt. McKinley I wonder if it may be in part so we do not grow too familiar with Him. Would we take him for granted as I did the base of Mt. McKinley? It's hard to believe that would be possible, yet we already do. We take for granted the amazing complexity of the world around us, the beauty laid out for us each day, the 'small' miracles of life and death, like the "small" mountains I found so unimpressive. Perhaps as we learn to appreciate these, the cloud thins a little. God reveals Himself in it all.

The Psalmist says – "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge" (Ps. 19:1-2). The scriptures, like the world around us, paint a portrait of God. He has revealed Himself. Perhaps much of the obscuring cloud is of our own making. Perhaps He is just waiting for us to look up and see.

# The Right Alignment

Luke 15:10

Some time ago I spent a weekend with friends in Calgary. One of these ladies, an avid astronomer, suggested we take a walk to the top of Nose Hill. It was a perfect night for it, clear and crisp. The view of the city was impressive, the lights spread out before us, the towering ski jumps at Olympic Park standing like a massive gate on the other side of the valley. The view of the sky was even more spectacular, especially when my friend pointed out what she had brought us there to see - the alignment of the planets. Even the uninitiated like myself couldn't miss it - the bright points of light really did form a perfectly straight line pointing down at an oblique angle from the moon.

It gave me an odd feeling as I thought of the cosmos slowly moving into place like a giant cog within infinity. I wondered if there was a cosmic "click" as each planet slipped into its designated place. My friends and I wondered aloud if this unusual event could have some significance to us, here on the smallest of planets. Staring out at the heavens that night I was left with a sense of awe, a sense of something infinitely more complex and powerful than I could comprehend, and a sense that all was in place, as it should be. The feeling was similar to how I felt coming home after an extended time away - that moment of stepping onto Canadian soil, breathing a sigh of relief, knowing this was the place where I fit.

That straight line of planets is a clear picture of the relationship we can have with God. It may seem outrageously arrogant to believe it, yet God has told us we can have a direct connection with Him, a personal connection. All we have to do is move into the correct alignment with the Father, the Son and the Spirit and acknowledge our need. The instant we do that there is a cosmic "click" in the heavens and great "rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God..." (Luke 15:10). Why should those in the heavens rejoice? Because another one has found his or her place. Another one has moved into the right position, into a personal relationship with God - the most satisfying true alignment, the place where we all fit.

Impossible? Read it for yourself in the Bible, book of Luke, Chapter 15.

# Sino's Story

Colossians 1:13-14

The walk to the prison was long. Sino started early, before the heat of the day, but going anywhere in the highlands of Papua New Guinea meant a long walk up and a harder walk down. She traveled through two valleys and over two mountains to visit her father in prison and bring the food that kept him alive. Her father, one of the most well known "fight leaders" in Enga province, had killed hundreds, was one of the most fierce cannibals, until law came to the highlands and the police imprisoned him. It had taken several months of visits before he agreed to see his daughter. When he finally did, Sino was almost sorry she had persisted. He was a miserable man who scowled at her and refused to talk. But he took the food.

Sino continued to visit and kept praying that he would listen and take the gift of Christ's forgiveness too. Eventually he was willing to speak with her when she came, but when she tried to talk about God's love and forgiveness, he became angry. Then one day, Sino thought all the months of traveling and praying might pay off. He listened without shouting at her. But when she stopped talking her father said he would never believe her God could love a man like him. "I am too bad," he said, "I have killed too many people. I have eaten too many. Your God would never accept a man like me. Never talk about this again."

Sino stopped talking about Jesus but she didn't stop praying. She prayed that God would send someone who could break through the misery and pain that kept her father in a prison far more dark than the jail where he lived. She kept making the long trip, always wondering how her father would be when she arrived. Would he be calm, or raving and on the edge of madness? She always approached the door to his cell with a dread that could only be eased by praying. Finally there came a day when she was shocked into a speechless stare. Her father was smiling. In all her life she had never seen him smile. For a moment she wondered if he had gone insane.

Then he embraced her and told her a man had come to the warden of the jail and told him God had sent him to talk to someone there, but he did not know who. The warden allowed him to wander through the prison until he found Sino's father. The visitor had been a fight leader, the killer of many, and a cannibal. He told Sino's father God had forgiven him because of His great love and mercy. He told him how his life had changed and the joy he had now. Sino's father prayed with the man and accepted Christ. He was released from prison in 1994 and traveled the country telling people how Jesus changed his life.

The writer of Colossians 1: 13 & 14 says – "For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." That is the truth that changed Sino's father. It will change anyone who puts his faith in Jesus.

# The Sounding Board

1 Corinthians 13

It's getting close to that time again - time to clean out our overflowing junk drawer. Opening it takes a strong arm and a healthy heart. Odd things are apt to leap out - springs, bits of wire, shoe laces, almost-finished tubes of "Goop." As I looked for something the other day, I resolved to tackle the task of sorting and discarding, but I was distracted. As I pawed through the debris, I discovered the innards of a broken music box. The only thing left was the small drum and the handle which causes the "fingers" to strike the nubs. I played with it for a while before deciding it should be thrown away - the tune was vaguely reminiscent, but the sound was feeble. Just then my daughter Meagan came home, picked up the metal contraption and walked into the living room. Suddenly the air was filled with a tinkling Christmas melody. When I investigated, I realized why the music had suddenly become so clear. Meagan had placed the small drum on our wooden coffee table. It became a sounding board, making what had been a muffled noise into something delightful. I remembered a friend hitting the keys of his piano after its sounding board had been destroyed in a flood. The keys made only dull thudding noises.

One of the most familiar passages in the Bible tells us we have a sounding board in our lives that takes a muffled, unlovely sound and makes it into something pure and beautiful. Our sounding board is love. Without love, we make only noise. In 1Corinthians 13:1 the apostle Paul says – "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

When our words and actions do strike the sounding board of love, they resonate with power and clarity. Unfortunately, most of us have damaged sounding boards, like the one in my friend's piano. In one way or another, the presence or appearance of love in our lives has been warped. We have come through the flood of life and our keys make only dull thudding noises. Unlike my friend's piano, however, we can be healed, we can be whole.

Paul goes on, in verses 4-8, to describe what love is - these are the verses often quoted at weddings. It's a list worthy of a saint and can seem impossible to follow, especially once the honey moon is over, yet it is a list of hope, a series of goals set before us. It is the path of healing. Striving to love as Jesus taught will heal the cracks, straighten the warp, and cause our lives to resonate the way a perfect note sings from a solid sounding board. There are many examples of this: there are those who have extended forgiveness, for example, even though they have been terribly wronged, those who have chosen to love someone who is incapable of responding, those who have loved no matter what. They are physicians in the process of healing themselves.

At the end of 1Corinthians 13, Paul tells us this process will have an end point, a time when we shall be whole and complete. "But for right now, until that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."(The Message by E. Peterson).

# How Observant Are You?

Psalm 105:4

It was one of those crisp winter days, a lot like the one I see out my window today: bright sun casting shadows on fresh white snow, trees weighed down by mantles of white, a few winter birds chirping high above. We were out for a walk behind the Arts College I attended, in search of nature's designs to use in our weaving and pottery classes. We had our cameras and sketch pads with us, but for the first while we weren't very serious about our purpose. We were just enjoying ourselves in the fresh air. Then our instructor, leading the pack along a trail through the bush, turned and commented, "Who ever said snow was white? Look at it!"

As I did so, I was amazed. The snow was not white. Where shadows lingered, it was a soft, cold blue. Where the sun struck, it was almost gold. As the afternoon wore on, it began to take on a pink tinge. I noticed the shapes, too: swirls and sculptures made by wind, tiny imprints of squirrels and birds, the pattern of seeds and pine cones indented in the drifts. There were strong contrasts: the softness of a single stock of tall yellow grass against the hardness of massive, dark evergreens. By the time our walk in the woods was over, I realized how unobservant I had been. That day I saw the face of winter in a new way.

Psalm 105:4 says - "seek His face always." How do we seek the face of God? Verses 1-3 of that same Psalm give us some clues - thank Him, call on Him, sing to Him, praise Him, make Him known to others, talk about the amazing things He has done, lean on His strength. The more we look for God and do these things, the more He reveals Himself to us. We begin to see His character, the love and faithfulness of a parent, the patience and helpfulness of a friend. The more we look, the more we see and understand.

Too often, we refuse to even begin this process, because the picture we already have of God's face is not one we want to look at. It's a harsh face, a condemning face, an angry face. We cannot see the true character of God because we are afraid to look. We know we have done things He won't approve of. We know we deserve judgement and assume that's what we'll see in His eyes.

Until my instructor said, "look," I thought snow was white. It was the cold, harsh face of winter I knew. But when I looked, I saw there was color and form and beauty. There was even softness. There's a song I love to sing – "Oh Lord, you're beautiful. Your face is all I seek. And when your eyes are on this child, Your grace abounds to me." We all deserve judgement, but that's not what we will see in the face of God if we dare to look. Because of His Son, we will see only forgiveness and love.

# Birthday Story

Isaiah 43:1-3

They told us it would not happen. We weren't surprised. We had been together for more than five years without having a child. The tests confirmed what we already knew. I thought I was prepared to hear the test results, but the finality of the doctor's words left me with a cold emptiness. Having a child was the deepest desire of my heart, but I tried to keep it hidden. When my friends talked about their kids, I 'oohed' and 'aahed' with the rest. I cuddled and tickled their babies, then handed them back with a smile. Each time, the longing for one of my own increased.

At the same time, our lives were turned upside down. My husband's best friend committed suicide, then his partner did the same, to fulfill the suicide pact no one knew about. A friend's husband drowned in a canoeing accident and a neighbour's two-year-old child disappeared. The reality of death stared us in the face over and over again. Spence began asking the deep questions of life, questions about God.

I had gone through that struggle years before and had concluded if there was a God, which was unlikely, He obviously wanted nothing to do with me so I wanted nothing to do with Him. When Spence began his spiritual journey I stood back and watched, until he challenged me to answer those deep questions for myself. I resisted, but once the questions were out in the open, I could not ignore them. We were both being drawn to a point of decision.

It was on the road to Mayo, Yukon, that I made the step that was to change my life. I was on my way to visit a friend, determined not to think about God or religion or any of the baffling questions my husband kept bringing up. But no matter what I tried, my mind would not rest. The question of God's existence and what He had to do with me, would not go away. In desperation, I pulled my vehicle into a lookout point above the Stewart River. The beautiful river valley stretched out below, but I barely saw it. My mind in a whirl, I challenged God to do something to prove He was there. Then I realized how foolish I was, talking to a God I did not really believe existed. At that point something happened which I have never been able to describe adequately. I "heard" laughter, like a grandfather chuckling, and the words, "Yes, but I love you anyway." None of this was audible, yet it was shockingly real. I thought I was going insane. All the turmoil had finally pushed me over the edge and now I was hearing voices! I stomped on the gas pedal of my truck, turned the radio up as loud as it would go, and fled.

My visit with my friend turned out to be more discussion of spiritual things, but by the time I returned home I was determined not to pursue Christianity. Besides, I had something else on my mind. I had been suffering from a strange flu - the kind that happens every morning but is gone by noon. My friend said, "sounds like morning sickness to me." But of course that wasn't possible. The experts had told us so.

Soon after, the pastor Spence was meeting with gave me some books about the claims of Christianity and they began to make sense, but my heart was still cold and resistant to the idea of a personal God. I studiously refused to even think about what had happened on the Stewart River lookout point. Then, one morning, I woke up with the realization that I had to get to the washroom fast. It was about the seventh day of that "strange flu." As I repeated the morning's routine of the past few days, the realization that I was in fact pregnant flooded over me like a warm rain. With it came a searing thunderbolt of truth. This was the "something" I had challenged God to do. The child growing in my womb was His answer, the proof of His love. He gave me the desire of my heart November 30th, 1982. That was just the beginning. God has proven Himself over and over again in my life. He'll do it in yours too, if you'll invite Him in.

# Experiencing Darkness Gives Appreciation for Light

Matthew 4:16; John 12:46

We knew we were headed for an adventure. Nine of us were loaded up in an old van, our bones jarred by a road which deteriorated quickly into little more than pot holes joined together to form a goat path. Our eyes widened a little more every time we forded one of the thirteen rivers slashing across it. The dense Papua New Guinean jungle crowded close at some points, opened out into fields of elephant grass at others, and every now and then, allowed a panorama of the sea. Eventually we arrived at our destination, a small village clinging to a sandy spit reaching out into the ocean. People flocked out of their homes as the word spread that there were "dim-dims" (white people) in their village.

We had arranged for a boat to meet us there, but after two hours of waiting, concluded it was not going to arrive, and accepted the offer of a guide to see some caves nearby. After an hour of hacking along a trail that slowly got steeper and steeper, our guide pointed with his machete. We could see a large indentation in the mountain, a black hole about the size of a one-story house. The climb up wasn't easy, but we managed and soon arrived at the lip of the cave. The climb down into it was even more of a challenge, our guide training his flashlight on the ground as we descended one by one. When we were all assembled in one spot, he shifted the light, fanning it into the cavern beyond. The shock of what we saw there still lingers with me. Piles of skulls, eye sockets seeming to move in the eerie glow of the flashlight, stared back at us. Our guide said this was a small group, that other caverns were more full. There were hundreds, perhaps even thousands of skulls and skeletons lying in the bowels of the mountain. Our guide admitted his grandfather had been one of those who came here to devour his victims.

In silence, we followed as he led us further into the cave, pointing out more piles of skulls as we went. Finally, he said we had to decide which direction to go, either turn back and descend the mountain the same way we had come, or continue on into the caves, which eventually opened at a lower point on the other side. After checking to make sure he really knew how to get through, the group decided to carry on. The further we went, the more deep the darkness, the more narrow the passage-ways. At times we had to squeeze around stalagmites and almost crawl under overhangs. Several times our guide would lead one or two of us through, then leave us to go back for the others, taking the only light with him. He was never gone for long, but those minutes seemed liked hours as we stood in complete and utter darkness.

It was with great relief we eventually saw and felt the intense tropical sun pouring through the exit. Stepping out into the humid heat and lushness of the rainforest was like being literally raised from a grave. The words of Jesus in Matthew 4:16, had never been more powerful: "the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned," and in John 12:46 –"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." Having just experienced both a real and a deadly darkness, the words filled me with a thankfulness for His light.

Papua New Guinea was once a "land in the shadow of death," but we did not have to worry that our guide was taking us to those caves to murder and consume us, (though there were moments I did pray he was trustworthy!) We did not have to fear being left in that utterly dark place. The light of Christ was within us. He "turns my darkness into light" (Psalm 18:28).

# Precautionary Measures

2 Corinthians 6:2

I could hear the wind whistling through the screens in our kitchen windows as I climbed the stairs from the basement. Our dogs were sitting one at each opening, their eyes hopeful. I opened the door and let them in just as a splat of rain hit the deck. I looked up. And frowned.

The sky was in turmoil and the greenish yellow colour of the clouds told me it might be a good idea to return to the basement. But I was mesmerized. Clouds formed and vanished in seconds, billows roiling about the sky as though being pulled by a giant hand. I went to the front window and saw the line of black being drawn over the sky. A news flash said to take "precautionary measures."

Then the rain came, and the hail. A friend called to say a funnel cloud had been spotted. But we were supposed to go to a prayer meeting. So we lingered in the kitchen, watching. Eventually the hail quit and the rain calmed to a slight drizzle. Lightening still cracked but we grabbed our jackets and headed out the door. We were the only ones to show up at the prayer meeting.

We began by discussing the weather, of course, but slowly the four of us bowed our heads and began the ritual of prayer that I hope becomes habit. Our community is in need of prayer, and of God, yet few seem to recognize it. They are standing in a kitchen watching the storm clouds overhead, but refusing to take "precautionary measures."

For now, the storms pass, the skies clear to cerulean blue once again and everyone goes on about their business. But one day that won't happen. One day "the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky and heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky and all the nations of the earth will mourn..." Matthew 24:29-30

God has been giving us a lot of warning signs for many years. We don't know how much longer He will continue to do so, but we do know that "now is the time of God's favour, now is the day of salvation" (2 Corinthians 6:2).

The precautionary measures that secure salvation are quite simple to follow – we simply need to agree with God that we have sinned and ask forgiveness. He will grant it and begin to change us from the inside out. Then, on that day when the nations will mourn, we will be rejoicing.

# Buried Beacons and God's Eye

Psalm 139:1-10

"E.T.A. Fourteen hundred hours." Chuck had been waiting to hear the message come crackling over the radio. "Roger that, I'll be ready. Mallach Dome clear." His shift as radio operator at the temporary airstrip was over and he was anxious to leave his isolated northern post. The plane was on its way and would arrive in just over three hours. Chuck immediately set to work packing up his belongings and the equipment he had used to do his job. The site was to be abandoned for the time being, so everything had to be packed securely and ready to go. When he was done, he sat by the radio again, waiting for the pilot to let him know when he was on approach. It seemed like a long wait. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of an engine. Surprised that the pilot had not radioed, he went outside to check. Sure enough, off in the distance was a small speck making a lot of noise. He went back in and sat by the radio. Still no message from the pilot. The sound of the plane seemed to fade away. Chuck ran outside again, just in time to see the speck disappear. At the sound of radio static, he dashed back in to hear,

"Mallach Dome, come in. Mallach Dome. Are you awake down there?" He grabbed the microphone and answered. The pilot responded immediately. "Check your beacon, Chuck. I can't find you." Chuck's jaw fell open. In his urgency to get everything ready, he had disconnected and packed the electronic signal beacon. In the vast Arctic tundra, it was impossible for the pilot to locate him without it.

"Uh, roger that. Checking beacon. Stand by one." In a panic, Chuck found and reinstalled the beacon and heaved a sigh of relief as the sound of the plane's engine got louder.

Many of us have buried our signal beacons. Whether intentionally, because we have been rejected and hurt, or because we have been preoccupied and selfish, we have hidden the things that send clear messages to those around us. As a result, they have no idea how we really feel or what we really think. They aren't able to find us.

Many of us attempt to do this with God. We bury our true feelings and thoughts, refusing to acknowledge them even to ourselves. We try to hide them from God. We think we will escape His eye. But God doesn't need a beacon. He is aware of where we are, how we are, why we are, at all times. Psalm 139:1-3 says -"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways." Does that make you uncomfortable? Too much like 'Big Brother is watching?' Not to worry. God's motives are pure. His eye is on us, not waiting to humiliate and destroy, but to guide, nurture and bless. The writer of this Psalm acknowledges there is nowhere he can hide where God will not find him. And what happens when He does? Listen to verse 10 - "even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Have you buried your beacon? Are you hiding from people and trying to hide from God? Why not reconnect? It will get you out of that isolated, lonely place.

# So What?

Matthew 28

She dreaded this day but knew she had to face it. At least she would have the company of her best friends as she went to say good-bye for the last time. The thought of seeing his lifeless body was almost more than she could stand. She prayed for strength as she prepared to leave. She couldn't keep the tears from flowing as they went. The funeral home was still and quiet, the draperies around the casket adding to the somber atmosphere. They approached it, clinging to one another for support. The shock of what they saw left them speechless. The casket was empty! There must be some mistake. At the same moment they blurted questions to one another. Where have they laid him? Why did they move him? Who gave them permission? Are we in the wrong place? Emotions whirled inside them - fear, anger, grief, and a pulsing hope they were afraid to even acknowledge. Then a funeral attendant stepped into the room. He seemed to understand their confusion. "Don't worry," he said, "he's not here because he's not dead." The man took their hands and led them closer to the casket. "Look, you can see that he was here, but he isn't now. Go tell all his friends they'll see him soon." They ran from that dark place still filled with confusion but also daring to hope. Before they got far, there he was, standing in front of them, alive. They fell on him, weeping with joy and he told them to tell all his friends he'd meet with them soon.

Can you imagine it? Can you imagine the joy of the women who went to the tomb where Jesus was buried? Anyone who has lost a loved one can relate to how they must have felt. How the grief and fear must have been swept away when they saw him! How the news that he was alive must have traveled like wildfire.

In spite of their amazement, however, few, if any, realized the significance of what had just happened. They had heard about resurrections before. They new the stories of Elijah and Elisha in bygone days, they had heard about Jesus raising Lazarus and the son of the widow at Nain. There were probably some who shrugged off this latest miracle with a "so what" attitude.

But the resurrection of Jesus was different. The resurrection of Jesus proclaimed the death of evil, of sickness, pain, and grief. It was the death of death itself. When the stone was rolled away from Jesus' tomb, the gates of heaven flew open.

So what? So: Life lived in the eternal presence of God Himself; life lived in joy and peace even here in the midst of chaos. So what? So, Victory!

# Discovering What Is Below

Psalm 36:8-9

My bones were rattled by the constant jarring of bumping over a road that was more potholes than flat surface. My clothes stuck to me as the tropical heat and humidity reached its peak for the day. I was relieved when our driver, Don, pulled off by a small cove and suggested we go for a swim. The scene was idyllic, like the picture of a tropical paradise you see in travel magazines, only the waves moved and the palm trees swayed. The kids hit the water first, delighting in the chance to cool down. I waded in slowly, watching as my husband and Don pulled on snorkel masks and fins and swam quickly into deep water. Floating on the surface was enough for me as I let the warm water sooth my jarred bones. But when Spence came back, he found another mask and coaxed me to go with him. "You have to see what's under the surface," he insisted

My stubborn conviction that I was quite happy with what was on the surface didn't stop him, so I finally agreed and allowed him to show me how to snorkel. At first it was interesting but not terribly impressive, but then Spence waved me on and we swam further out. What lay just a few hundred feet from shore was a spectacle of light and color. A coral reef loomed just below the surface, populated by schools of brightly colored fish. They flashed before us, streaks of vibrant blue, yellow and green. The sculptured coral itself was breathtaking. As we all took turns with the snorkels, the delight of what we had seen shone on our faces. It was an experience I will always treasure. As we drove away from the cove that day, I was struck by the fact that I had almost missed it. Content with the surface, I may never have known what was beneath.

Life is similar. We float on the surface, comfortable and content, unaware of the treasures that lie just below. We refuse to make the effort to see and understand a deeper realm, the delight in knowing God. It is there, ours for the taking. Psalm 36:8-9 says – "They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light."

# Spiritual Alzheimer's

Psalm 77:11-12

The story is told of two folks enjoying an evening together. They decide they'd like a snack, so the husband asks his wife if she would like some toast. She replies: "Brown with peach jam, please," then adds, "but I know you'll forget!" The husband returns a few moments later, carrying two bowls of cereal with strawberries on top. He hands one to his wife. She says, "See, I knew you'd forget. I wanted bananas!"

I can relate. My memory is quite good, but sometimes it's extremely short. I've gone upstairs and forgotten why by the time I got there. I've gone to the grocery store for a specific item and come home without it. I've seen a familiar face and struggled to remember the name. I've hidden presents from my kids and forgotten where I put them. Can you relate? Most of us have memory lapses, often because we have so much happening in our lives, some bits of information don't quite stick. Most of the time it's annoying or humorous, sometimes embarrassing, but not terribly serious. Total loss of memory, however, is disastrous

My father once stood on the corner of the street where he lived for over an hour. He had forgotten where his house was, even though it was within sight. Alzheimer's does that. The total loss of memory slowly robs its victims of their lives. They can't go anywhere alone. They don't recognize friends and neighbours. Eventually they don't even remember family. All ties are cut, all bearings lost. The disease wins.

Some of us are living with spiritual Alzheimer's. We've forgotten God. It seems to have been a common problem throughout history. God continually tells the people to recall how He has been active in their lives, how he provided for them, protected them, saved them, time after time. The people needed to be reminded especially when times were hard. King David knew this principle well. When he was fleeing for his life, he remembered God had always protected him. When he sinned, he remembered God had always forgiven him. When he was enjoying prosperity and power, he remembered it was God who provided it.

Alzheimer's is a devastating physical disease that, so far, has no cure. Spiritual Alzheimer's, however, does have a cure. It's called repentance. Repentance means turning back. When we realize our need for God, our sin in forgetting him, memory is restored. When memory is restored, we are able to function as we were made to, in a full, abundant life. The writer of Psalm 77:11-12 says -"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds."

Have you lost your way because of spiritual Alzheimer's? Don't let the disease win. Consider the cure.

# The Right Partner

Matthew 11:28

The smell of B.C. pine was heavy in the air that morning. The whine of the saws and the giant conveyor belt was deafening. I donned the hard hat I'd just been given and pulled on a pair of heavy work gloves. There were several men in the yard, big, burly, six-foot-something men, waiting to start their shift at the sawmill. They were all staring at me. Before I could change my mind and walk away, the foreman, yelling above the noise, showed me where to stand and what to do. Working with a partner, I had to catch one end of the long strips of lumber as they came flying off the conveyor, and stack them in a neat pile. My partner glared at me, obviously not at all happy to be paired with a 5 ft.1 female. By the time we took our first break, he wasn't the only one who was unhappy. I was on the edge of tears. I had dropped more boards than I had caught and our pile was small and far from neat. It was obvious I couldn't do this job. I was about to quit when one of the other men stopped me and spoke to my partner.

"Switch with me. I'll work with her for the rest of the morning." I gulped. This man was even bigger. And he wasn't smiling as he left his place at the conveyor. But, to my relief, he quickly showed me how to toss the lumber, using the momentum of the wood without taking its full weight. Within a few minutes I knew I could do it, despite my small size. The work was still hard but it was manageable. By the next day I was even beginning to enjoy it. Because that man was willing to leave his place and work beside me, to help me, I was able to do a job I thought completely beyond my capabilities.

Like that man at the sawmill, Jesus was willing to leave his privileged place in heaven to work along side us, to become one of us. With Jesus as our partner, any job is manageable, even enjoyable. And he is very willing to become our partner. Listen to what he says in Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Accept Jesus as your partner, learn from Him, and you'll be amazed at what you are able to accomplish.

# What Cowboys Know

Romans 6:12-14

There's tension in the air as the cowboy lowers himself into the shute. He knows he has drawn the biggest, meanest bull at the rodeo. The crowd knows it too. He hears the announcer tell them so. He tries not to listen, tries to concentrate on the details of getting ready to ride. He succeeds. Time stops. The bull erupts into the open arena and for those eight long seconds, all the cowboy's years of training and practice fall into a pattern that has become second nature. At the end of eight seconds he's a hero. He has done what few will attempt and landed without a scratch.

What makes a man think he can best a beast ten times his weight and strength? He believes he can do it because he has worked at developing the skills and he has paid his dues. The spectators haven't seen all that has gone before. They aren't aware of the scars, the broken bones, the cracked ribs, the gallons of lineament rubbed into swollen joints and torn muscles. The cowboy who has ridden an animal that could kill him has seen years of trial and error, years of being thrown off, years of watching and listening to other riders. By the time that cowboy lowers himself onto the biggest, meanest bull in the rodeo, he knows he has everything he needs to do it - the skill and the courage. That assurance can lead him to victory.

Every Christian has been given what is needed to overcome sin. There are no dues to pay, no injuries to suffer through. Someone else has done all that. Jesus paid the price for us. Once we have accepted that fact, our struggle is not how to overcome sin, but how to live as though we already have. The Apostle Paul wrote - "you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority" (Colossians 2:10). He goes further in Romans 6:12-14 – "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires ... for sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." Unlike that cowboy, we don't rely on our own skill and courage. We rely on the grace and mercy of God.

The cowboy knows he can do it. Do you?

# The Last Word

Proverbs 16:18

It should have taken me fifteen, twenty minutes - half an hour at the most. I went to the computer convinced my skills and experience, combined with the intelligent programming of some computer whiz somewhere, would be enough to accomplish the task at hand. After all, it wasn't a difficult one. I'd heard people say how easy it was to do. I should have known better. Or maybe I should have tackled it in the early part of the day when my mind was fresh and able to think along the same convoluted paths as that computer whiz. But it was late. I was tired. I just wanted to get it done and get some sleep. Ha! Four hours, and much murmuring about shooting said computer whiz, later, I had managed to, sort of, accomplish the task. As I laid my bleary-eyed head on my pillow, I knew there had to be an easier way.

The next morning I was determined to find it. So I turned on the confounding machine and clicked that tiny word at the end of the menu bar. You know, the one we all avoid until we're desperate - that little word, 'help.' Within two minutes I'd found the information I needed. Fifteen minutes later the task was accomplished without the fussing and fuming of the night before. Then I wondered why I hadn't followed the advice of those many wise sayings - 'consult an expert,' 'get it from the horse's mouth,' 'before construction, consult the directions,' etc. etc.

My only consolation is that it is a common human flaw. We hate to ask advice. We hate going for help. Why? Because of a nasty little word: pride. Pride keeps us from admitting to ourselves, let alone others, that we can't do it all on our own. Pride keeps us from seeking the help of others and it keeps us from seeking the help we need from God. Too often we don't even think to ask Him, until we're desperate. By that time we've usually gone through a lot of fussing and fuming. Sometimes we manage to make quite a mess of things before we finally admit we need His help. The good news is, He's always there to give it, no matter how long it takes us, no matter how much mess we've made. He's always there, waiting.

After my humbling experience trying to figure out my computer, I think I should add something after that last word on the menu bar - just a few words in parenthesis after the word help: "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18)

# Where does Your Treasure Lie?

Luke 12:21

"Is this it? This is all there is?"

The young man met his brother's eyes. Between them were two bowls filled to the brim. The older man was astounded at his brother's question. They had worked all their lives for this. It should have been a day to celebrate, but the pain and disillusionment in his brother's voice made him cringe as he watched him turn away and walk out the door. He could not understand the lack of enthusiasm. The bowls still on the table held almost $100,000. in pure gold. They had finally found the seam beneath the bedrock on their claim and they knew there was much more to be had. They had finally struck it rich.

A few days later the police were called. They brought a dog onto the property, and eventually found the young man's body, a rifle still clutched in his hands. It was the second suicide in only a few months. Another partner had also shot himself.

Why? Why would two young men in the prime of their lives, wealthy beyond most people's imaginings, take their own lives? The answer can be illustrated by something a little boy did during a Vacation Bible School programme. I was telling the story of the talents from Matthew 25, giving out paper bags to symbolize the talents given by the master to his servants. I gave five to one boy, two to another, and finally one to a third. The third little boy looked at the bags the others had and then up at me. I expected him to ask for more, but with a glint in his eye, he asked, "what's in them?" When I admitted they were filled with Styrofoam chips, he made a face and gave back the one in his hand.

After years of hard work searching for gold, the two men who committed suicide on that Yukon claim discovered what they had was as worthless as a bag full of Styrofoam chips. Their lives were empty and pointless. No material thing, no earthly goal can fill the inner cravings of our hearts and souls. That place is reserved for God alone. When we try to fill it with anything else we are rejecting Him and will only come to misery. "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." (Luke 12:21)

Jesus says – "I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." (Rev.3:18)

# A Different Way of Seeing

Ephesians 5:1

"Don't you dare bring that thing into the house!"

It was a familiar admonition, one my mother made sure we heard, at least once a day. She said it to me to prevent her house from becoming a natural science fair, full of the interesting creatures found on the beach and in the bush around our house. ("Look how orange this crayfish's belly is, Mom!")

She said the same thing to my brother because he too was a scavenger. He'd spend hours roaming the beach on Lake Huron, and always came back with something. Often it was a piece of drift wood, covered in sand and slimy green weeds. He had a pile of these treasures under the deck around the house. My father thought they made great kindling once they were dry. My brother seemed to be the only one who could see the beauty in them.

Then he was given a special gift on his birthday - a Swiss Army knife. He discovered he had the ability to transfer what he saw in his mind, through his hands, as he carved the driftwood into birds, animals and sometimes people. His creations were then sanded and polished to a satin sheen, painted, or left natural. When he presented the finished products, my mother was always the first to exclaim over them. The gritty, slimy bits of wood had become works of art to be displayed on tables and shelves all through the house. Because of my brother's talent with a knife, we began to see, through his eyes, the beauty in things we had thought fit only for burning. Even my mother started collecting driftwood.

Jesus saw with that special kind of vision. He looked at lepers and saw beauty carved out by a touch. He looked at prostitutes and saw beauty carved out by true love. He looked at thieves and murderers and saw beauty carved out by forgiveness. When we see with the eyes of Jesus we see beauty everywhere, even in people that seem ugly and worthless. It is a skill, like carving, to be diligently learned and practiced. It isn't easy and there will be a cost, but the results are worth the effort. In Ephesians 5:1 Paul says – "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." When we look for beauty as Jesus did, with compassion and love, we see with new eyes. Those before us are transformed and so are we.

# Like "Idiot lights" of The Brain

Hebrews 10

Have you ever heard your internal monologue running something like this: You shouldn't be doing this. This could be dangerous. You know this is risky ... ? We all have internal radar. It's sort of like the idiot lights on your car - you know, the ones that flash at you when the oil is low or you're almost out of gas. It's a warning that says stop now or bear the consequences.

My husband, Spence, and I have both born those consequences at times. I'll tell his story first. He was working on the water system at a local Half Way House, adjusting a hose. As he fiddled with it, his internal radar said, "Hey Spence, do you know where the shut-off valve is?" His answer? "Well, yeah, I guess I should find that ... uh-oh!" Water, water everywhere and not a valve in sight! Consequences.

My story happened several years ago but I still bear the scar. We were expecting company for dinner. I had rushed home from church, minutes ahead of the crowd, to try and get things on the table. The preparations were aggravated by the fact I was about eight months pregnant, big as a house and unable to move very quickly, not to mention with any agility. A bout of morning sickness had also left me with a ruptured blood vessel in one eye which, though not painful, insisted on tearing continually. So it was with great aggravation that I tried to open a can of juice. The can opener, of course, was not co-operating. It cut through only part of the tin, merely scoring the other half. That's when I heard the internal radar. I was lifting the lid back with my finger when it said, "You really shouldn't do that ... ouch!" When the company arrived I asked if they'd mind feeding themselves and my kids while my husband took me to the hospital. Five stitches and a warning to "keep it elevated," were the consequences.

That internal radar is a lot like a conscience. It's a whisper in the ear that tells us when we are on dangerous ground, when temptation opens a deep pool before us and we're about to leap in. Failing to listen results in consequences that are both messy and painful. Failing to listen makes us deaf. Each time we reject what we know is right, it becomes easier to do the wrong thing. David discovered this when he first saw Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). His conscience told him to look away but he ignored it. The consequence for David was messy, (he became a murderer) and painful (his son died as a result of that sin).

A conscience is a good thing, not just something created to make us feel guilty, but a warning system God has given, to keep us from those dangerous deep pools full of entanglements and pain. Knowing we are all prone to deafness, He has also given us a way to have a clean conscience, even after we have failed. Hebrews 10:19 says –"Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice ..." (The Message) so "let us draw near to God with a sincere heart, in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water." (NIV)

Has your internal radar been speaking to you lately? Have you failed to respond and born the consequences? Read Hebrews 10. It gives us the remedy.

# Are There Grubs on Your Plate?

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Christie was thankful. Peering a bit wistfully out her kitchen window, she thought of the past two years she and her family had spent in Papua New Guinea. They had been years full of challenge and stretching experiences, but she was thankful for all of it. She smiled as she watched some of the village children scrambling over a fallen tree on the edge of the rainforest. She knew what they were doing - collecting large white Sago grubs to take home for breakfast. Two years, Christie thought, her grin widening, and I've never had to eat a Sago grub! Thank you, Lord!

Just then a faint noise at the door cued her to the presence of a visitor. She turned to see Andrew, a young man who had become a good friend. He told Christie he had something special for her. Christie's two sons peered from behind him, their faces alight with mischief. Christie's heart sank as she asked what the "something special" might be. She gulped as Andrew held out his hand to reveal the fat, squirming grub. The two boys leaped to the cupboard and brought out a frying pan, insisting cheerily that they cook it up right then. Andrew gave direction as the boys went about their culinary task. "You must wait until it pops," he said, "then you will know it is ready."

Christie kept a weak smile on her face as she and the boys ate their traditional PNG breakfast. She thanked Andrew for his thoughtfulness as he left the kitchen, but couldn't keep the look of shock from her face when he returned a few moments later, both of his large hands cupped to form a container. This time there were several of the delicacies ready for the pan. Christie had appeared to like the first one so much, he brought her more! Fortunately, Andrew did not stay to watch her eat them.

When Christie told me this story, she was laughing, but then she paused and her eyes misted over. "I can't say I enjoyed it," she admitted, "but I really am thankful for that grub, and for all the other times I've had to step out of my comfort zone. The Lord got me through all of it."

Paul advises, in 1Thessalonians 5:18 – "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." When our plates are loaded with turkey and all the trimmings, it's easy to thank God for what He has provided. But what if the things on our plates aren't so palatable? What if our lives are in turmoil, full of conflict and pain? Does God really expect us to say thank you then? Yes, He does, but not for the pain and the conflict. He wants us to say thank you because we know we're not in it alone. It's a way of acknowledging His presence with us, His love for us. Job knew this principle well. In the midst of total brokeness He proclaimed, "though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him." (Job 13:15) Why? Because God is good and He's on our team. He's there, waiting for us to turn to Him, whatever our need. Let's be thankful for His presence, no matter what the circumstances.

# God's Gifts Might Arrive in Surprising Packages

1 Peter 4:8-10

We were having our morning coffee, watching the last of an all-night rain drizzle across our livingroom window, when I became aware of an annoying noise. It almost sounded like a baby, but had a wildness to it that told me it was a cat. I went to the back door, expecting to see our feline, damp and indignant, waiting to be let in, but she was waiting patiently by her food bowl, having spent a comfortable, dry night in the house. The meowing increased in volume, waking my oldest daughter. She went to the front door and scooped a bedraggled Calico kitten into her arms. It was a pitiful sight, drenched to the skin and crying for all it was worth. By the time Katie had toweled it dry, my other daughters were hovering over it, prompting me to begin a litany that I was to keep up for days: "We're not keeping it. It must belong to someone. We're not keeping it..."

Four months later we took her to the vet. to have her spayed and given all the necessary shots. I stared at the bill and finally conceded she did belong to us. As I held her on my lap on the way home, I also conceded, to myself at least, that she was a good gift. She has caused a lot of laughter since her rather undignified arrival on our doorstep. We call her Moxy because she doesn't seem to realize our German Short-Haired Pointer could swallow her in one gulp. She swats his nose playfully whenever it gets close enough and carries on a continuous "catch me if you can" game with the other feline in the house. Then, when you least expect it, she starts her "motor" and curls up in your lap. She is, in fact, a cat-lover's delight.

How many gifts have we rejected because of inconvenience? How many people have we turned away because it looked like the relationship would take too much work? Often God brings people into our lives because they need us, but they are also gifts from His hand. They are tailor-made for us, to teach, to heal, to stretch us. They might arrive in a bedraggled, undignified way, but they are precious gifts, which, if treasured and nurtured, will bring us joy. Has God deposited one of these on your doorstep lately? Consider 1 Peter 4:8-10 – "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

# Doubts in the Storm

Isaiah 30:15

Signs of winter were everywhere: clouds getting lower and more grey, the sun rising later and falling sooner, the Yukon river icing on its edges. The indicators put pressure on Monna, who needed to make a trip into Alaska over the Top of the World Highway. The date was past the 'cut-off,' when the road was deemed too dangerous to drive, so we discussed alternatives, but she was determined to make the trip and she wanted me to go with her. She assured me the highway crew would keep the road clear for miners still up there. Against my better judgement, I found myself in the passenger seat the next morning, as we crossed the Yukon River and headed for Alaska.

The first part of the trip was pleasant. We chatted, enjoying the view as the road climbed. Wind rocked the vehicle as trees became scarce and snow fell. The higher we went, the thicker the snow. Eventually we were ploughing through it. Three times we dug through wind-hardened drifts. We considered turning around, but by then it was too late - forward or back, we were in the middle of a blizzard. "But the grader will be along soon," Monna said, "and I'm praying." I doubted prayer would help, but did believe the grader would clear the road. Then, two miles from the border, we hit a drift too deep and wide to dig through. Sitting in the car, the heater blazing, we watched the snow bury us. Every few minutes we'd shovel the car clear to make sure the grader operator could see us in the swirling white. As the minutes ticked past the first hour, and the gas gauge slipped below the half way mark, I mentally went through the survival gear we had.

And I wondered about the grader operator. Would he keep going in this weather? As the time ticked into the second hour my fears spilled out. "What if the grader broke down? What if he took the day off?" Monna peered into the storm and wondered about walking to the border. As the gas gauge slipped below the final quarter mark and the light began to fade, we knew we might have no other choice. "The grader will come," Monna said. I kept my doubts to myself. In the middle of the tense silence Monna turned off the ignition. All we heard was the roar of wind. Then another sound penetrated, a mechanical sound. We leaped out in time to see pulsing beams of light round the bend, cutting through the snow. We waved our arms as the grader manoevered around the car. 'Salvation' had come.

Doubt isn't bad. It can lead to faith. Confusion leads to questions that can lead to clarity. Fear causes us to seek solutions beyond ourselves and that can lead to God. The key is to not allow doubt, fear and confusion to overwhelm and paralyze. The key is to look for our salvation in the right place. When Jesus was crucified his followers doubted. How could the kingdom be established when the king was dead? Had he lied to them? Then Jesus stepped into their midst. At first they doubted their own eyes, and probably their sanity as well, until he spoke and "opened their minds so they could understand..." (Luke 24:45) His appearance brought clarity, peace and faith to his followers then, and He will bring it to us now, if we turn our hearts to Him. Isaiah the prophet says – "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...." (Isa.30:15).

In the midst of a storm, doubt, fear and confusion are natural. In the midst of a storm, faith, peace and clarity are possible. Repent, rest, trust, and listen for the Saviour's voice.

# Forgiveness Sets the Victim Free

Colossians 3:13

"Where's the justice in that?" The man's face was turning red and his eyes were steely. "Forgiveness doesn't make sense. What my father did was despicable. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven."

The man's father had abandoned him when he was seven years old.The boy went to work when he was eleven, providing for his mother and sister. The carefree years of childhood were denied him. An education had to wait until he was an adult. Now, thirty years later, any talk of forgiving his father brings him close to a blind rage. To him, forgiveness is an unrealistic concept. He equates it with allowing criminals to go free without taking responsibility for their actions, without suffering any consequences. In legal terms that is what forgiveness would do - a man forgiven of a crime in court, goes free. In spiritual terms, however, the dynamics are very different. When Jesus told the people to forgive their enemies and pray for those who abused them, He did not mean the perpetrators of evil would not suffer the consequences. He meant those who had been wronged must let go of their anger and bitterness.

It is the anger and bitterness that keep victims locked in a prison with no bars, a prison that destroys them. As long as we harbour those feelings we keep the sign, 'victim' above our door. The label colors everything we do. It becomes an identity, the pivot on which everything turns. Forgiving those who sin against us does not absolve them of their sin, nor does it wipe out any judgement due them. Such things lie only in God's realm, and His justice is perfect. But our forgiveness of those who have sinned against us releases us to live our lives free of their sin. As long as it goes unforgiven, we are like a worm on a hook. The moment we grant forgiveness and leave the rest to God, we are free.

The man who was abandoned by his father will always be an orphaned child until he is willing to forgive. His anger will continue to overwhelm him, his hatred will continue to blind him, and he will be unable to live the life he was intended to live, all despite the fact the man who wronged him is long dead. The sin is perpetuated and compounded by the refusal to obey God's command: "...forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).

# Time Warp in A Tower

John 16:33

The young man sitting at a small desk in the foyer of the huge stone cathedral was friendly and courteous, but adamant. He would not allow us to enter the enormous building without a tour guide. Since we'd lost track of our group, we had an hour to wait before the bus would take us back to our hotel. As we chatted with the gatekeeper, my friend noticed a huge wooden door directly behind him. Intrigued, Debbie asked what was behind it. When the young man admitted it was an entrance to a tower, he seemed to instinctively know what we would ask next, so he finished his explanation with a firm, "No, you cannot go up there." It took us a while to wear him down, but he eventually softened and helped us pull on the iron ring that opened the door.

The stairs wound up in a steep spiral, each step worn to a slippery groove. We clung to the stone wall on the inside as we ascended, staying well away from the narrow open slits, the only source of light. Each time we passed one of these openings, sudden gusts of wind took our breath away and we pressed even closer to the wall. It seemed to take an eon to reach the top. I felt as though we had been in a time warp and fully expected to look out onto a Medieval town, dirty and somber under brooding cloud. It was a shock to step, instead, onto a wide stone platform overlooking the modern city of Barcelona, gleaming under a warm summer sun.

The climb up that tower had distorted my perspective. It was dark, cold, and more than a little frightening. When we've come through a place like that, it's difficult to believe the sun could still be shining. It seems unbelievable there could be warmth, beauty and goodness waiting to be enjoyed. After getting through dark fearful places, we sometimes refuse to believe in anything else. We live our lives as though there were no peace, no joy possible.

In John 16: 33, Jesus says – "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." We will all pass through dark and dangerous places which distort our perspective from time to time, places of grief and pain, but the sun does not stop shining. Beauty, goodness and love are there to be enjoyed, and best of all, we can rely on Jesus to help us see it all with new eyes. We can see it all with His perspective, the perspective of One who has conquered evil and even death itself. That perspective helps us to keep looking for the good in our world and in those around us. The dark places may be real, but they will not destroy us as long as we know the One who gave His life that we might truly see.

# Mystery and Trust

Psalm 13

Sometimes we can't see how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together. Sometimes we just have to be content with mystery.

It was dark in our bedroom at two in the morning, but my eyes were wide open and I couldn't have been more awake. That's unusual for me - I don't wake up 'bright eyed and bushy tailed,' even when the alarm goes off at seven in the morning. My first thought was that someone had called me. I listened for the sound of one of my children. Perhaps one of them was ill. The house was quiet. No small voice cried out in the dark. So I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. That's when a woman's name came to mind, out of the blue, with a strong sense of urgency. I have had a couple of experiences like this, and I've learned, when it happens, to listen for the still small voice of direction. That night I was directed to pray in a way I never had before. The woman whose name boomed in my mind has Multiple Sclerosis. The directions were to pray for the strengthening of her body, and specifically, to pray for her legs - the bones, the muscles, the tendons, the flow of blood. It went on for some time until I eventually fell back to sleep.

The next night I was in a class with the woman with M.S. I said nothing to her or any of the other students, about my experience of the night before, but I had a sense of expectation. The class went by in a normal way and we were getting our coats on to leave when someone said to the woman, "Is it my imagination or are you walking better tonight?"

She smiled and answered, "It's been a good day."

I smiled too.

It's been years since that night. As far as I know, that woman still has M.S. She still has good days and bad days. I don't know why I was woken from a sound sleep in the middle of the night to pray for her so specifically. Perhaps in some way those prayers will be used as small pieces of a bigger puzzle. Perhaps that woman will some day be healed while she is still living on this earth. I don't know.

I do know God was saying, "Yes." He was saying yes to me, to the woman with a debilitating disease, and to all of us. He was saying, "Yes, you will be healed. You will be whole. Hang on. I'm coming."

Sometimes we are left with only mystery. Sometimes all we can do is trust.

# Earthly Anchors Fail

Hebrews 6:19

Radio operators in the far north are responsible for accurate readings. Relying on weather instruments, they give out information that can have serious consequences, if inaccurate. Unfortunately, the instruments they use are not always completely reliable. One radio operator can give testimony to that fact. He was doing his job one mid-winter day, when a pilot called in for the conditions at the airstrip, as he began his approach. The radio operator checked the instruments carefully and relayed the information. As far as he knew, it was correct. What he didn't know, was that the high winds which had been blowing continuously had shifted the post anchoring the anemometer, the instrument designed to tell the wind's direction. As a result, the directions the radio operator gave the pilot were completely wrong. The pilot was not facing a head wind, as he'd been told, but landed the plane with a fierce tail wind. By the time he realized there was something wrong, it was too late. The plane ploughed into a row of old drums set up to mark the end of the landing strip, an engine was sheared off and a huge hole punched in the fuselage. Fortunately no one was injured.

That accident happened because the radio operator depended on an anchor that was not secure. It looked like it was. It had been before, but the severe conditions changed that, and the consequences could have been fatal.

There are few securities in our world. Health can fail. A job can be lost. Fire or some other disaster can destroy everything we own. Financial ruin can happen overnight. A tragic accident can change our lives forever. If we have anchored ourselves, our sense of well being and security, to any earthly source, there is only one certainty - at some point it will fail us. Like the anchor post holding that anemometer, it will shift. There is only one anchor that does not.

The writer of Hebrews 6:19 says: "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." What hope? The hope of eternal life with God, the hope of His love for us, now and forever. That anchor will never shift. No wind can move it. No circumstance can change it. It is the only constant we have.

# Ice Flows and other Dangerous Traps

James 1:14-21

Chuck's truck idled gently as he and his wife peered through the windshield at the view of Hunker Creek Road. They watched the slow seepage from a small glacier flow over the ploughed surface and they hesitated. They knew what it would mean if they got stuck trying to cross that patch of ice. The small glaciers are a common winter hazzard in that area. The seepage can look like a trickle, but the constant flow and freeze, flow and freeze, wrecks havoc on anything in its path. Like the huge glaciers we study about in school, the movement of these small ice fields is unstoppable.

But Chuck decided no trickle of water and ice was going to stop him. He put the truck into gear and moved forward. They were about half way across the patch of ice and water when the tires started to spin. Chuck lifted his foot off the accelerator, then slowly applied pressure again. The tires spun and the rear end slipped. He tried again and the truck slid sideways. One rear wheel was now off the road entirely. For the next few hours Chuck and his wife tried everything they could think of to get that truck out of that dangerous place, but their attempts were futile. As night fell they realize they would have to leave the truck there and try again the next day.

By the time they returned their vehicle was completely off the road and solidly locked in ice. By the spring thaw, they found it part way down the hill. It was mid summer before the ice had thawed enough to attempt the salvage. Chuck hoped the Caterpillar tractor he hired to pull it out wouldn't bend the frame any more than the glacier already had. Vehicles had been known to be bent beyond use by similar slow trickles of water and ice.

We have those same inexorable trickles in our lives. They are small things we think we can live with, things we don't want to acknowledge as having any power over us. These small things have a way of creeping up on us, like that glacier Chuck thought he could handle. It doesn't take long before we're stuck. In his short, to the point letter, James says – "But each one is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived..." (James 1:14-16).

Chuck thought he could beat the glacier. He lost. We can't live with sin and win. There is only one way to stop it, as James goes on to say in verse 21 – "So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept the message God has planted in your hearts, for it its strong enough to save your souls."

# An Unusual Rescue

Psalm 118:5

If we had heard a weather forecast, we might have stayed home. It was only about 35 below when we headed to town, but by the time we came out of a meeting, close to midnight, it had dropped to minus 65. Our truck would not start. Neither would the other vehicles parked outside. As I watched from the warmth of the doorway, my husband and a few friends donned some unusual head gear and hovered over the one truck they thought might rise to the occasion. Their head gear, hats woven of warm Alpaca wool, had tall peaks with tassles on the ends and long tapered ear flaps that bobbed with each step. They made the guys look a lot like Santa's elves. None of them realized how comical they looked, as they scurried around the truck, trying to get it to start. Someone produced a propane torch to heat the oil pan. Someone else produced a tarp to cover the hood. Then we all huddled in the doorway, hoping for success. We cheered when the motor roared to life before catching on fire! As we crammed into the cab for the trip home, the guys left their hats on, still oblivious to how they looked.

We had only gone a few miles when we saw a faint light. It burned for a few moments, then died. We leaned forward as it appeared again, directly ahead. Our driver slowed down as we got closer. The dim light flashed one more time and we realized it was a truck in the middle of the road. All of us piled out as we pulled to the side to investigate. The truck door opened and a young woman peered out. Her lips were blue, her bare hands, wrapped around a small kitten, were white with frostbite. She tried to swing her legs out, but needed help. When she stood up, her feet, clad only in running shoes, wouldn't move. As the men lifted her into the warm vehicle, I noticed she looked at them with an odd expression. It wasn't until later we discovered she thought she was hallucinating. She didn't expect to be rescued by a band of Santa's elves!

Psalm 118:5 says – "In my distress I prayed to the Lord and the Lord answered me and rescued me." Rescue. In the nick of time. If we hadn't been on the road that night, that young woman would have died. I don't know if she prayed, but, in desperate situations, most people do. Unfortunately, most of us don't recognize we are in a desperate place when we are without God. We depend on things like trucks with heaters, refusing to believe they might break down in the worst places at the worst times. We think we are safe when in reality we are on the brink of disaster. God is in the rescue business and we all need to be rescued.

# A Condition that Got Results

Psalm 139:1-3

It was a beautiful fall day and I was looking forward to the trip to town. We pulled out of our driveway onto the road that connected to the highway, bordering our land. I peered down the long stretch and sighed. As my husband maneuvered the truck slowly down the road, I clutched his arm and held onto my stomach. By the time we reached the highway, Spence had a few finger-sized bruises and I had a few more stretch marks. I was eight months pregnant and the road was full of potholes big enough to swallow a cow (no comparison intended).

The territorial road crew was supposed to grade that road. It had been part of the original route between Whitehorse and Dawson City at one time, so when we built our house the government assured us they would maintain it. That summer had been wet and the crews had spent most of their time on the roads leading to the gold mines. Our road was not a priority. Several times my husband had politely requested they do some work on it, to no avail. That day I decided it was time I paid the road crew foreman a visit.

Charlie was a big gruff man, but he had a heart of gold. When he saw me lumber into his office, he stood up quickly and offered me a chair. I immediately stated the obvious. "Charlie, I'm pregnant," I said. "I'm looking forward to having this baby, but I do not want to have it on the road between my house and the highway." Charlie's eyes bulged. His face went a bit red and he started to stammer. He assured me he would take care of it right away.

By the time we arrived home, the road had been surfaced and graded. It was in better shape than the main highway! My husband was astounded and suggested that, after the baby was born, I should get one of those pregnancy simulating forms, to put on whenever we needed something done. I wasn't sure that was such a great idea, but I could see his point. My condition had definitely gotten the results we wanted. All I had to do was bring it to the attention of the right person.

Sometimes we wonder if God notices our condition. We go through pain and grief and hard times and we wonder if he knows. We see the wrongs done and we tend to say, "Hey, God, did you see that?" Sometimes we forget who we're talking to. God isn't a maintenance man who has to be shown the urgency of our situation. He is the One who sees and knows all things. In Psalm 139:1-3, King David says – "O Lord ... You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought ... Every moment you know where I am." He knows. He sees. He is responding.

# A Perfect World, A Perfect Heart

Hebrews 10:14

My brother was a 'normal' kid. He didn't bother to hang up his clothes or use his laundry hamper, or change his socks very often. His room was such a disaster area you could hardly get through the door, let alone find an unoccupied space on the floor. My mother was a 'normal' mom. She nagged him to clean it up. She was pretty good at dropping 'subtle' hints – like, "Find anything growing under your bed lately?" Then one day he tried a little subtlety of his own. He put a sign on his door. He said it was a quote from someone famous and brilliant –"Out of the dung heap arises genius."

I have thought of that quote many times, over the years, and often thought how true it is. In the natural world, it's the manure that makes the flowers bloom and the crops grow. In our lives, it often seems we have to plough through a lot of unpleasantness before something good arises.

We sang a song in our church on Sunday that made me think of that quote. It's a beautiful chorus that states, "You have made a perfect world....You can make a perfect heart." I know both of those lines are true, but it's not easy to believe it. Our world is far from perfect and I don't know about you, but I haven't met many people with perfect hearts. There's a lot of dung in our world and in our lives. The struggle to get through it is constant.

The struggle can become a major distraction and its pursuit is futile. We will never return to the perfect world God created. We will never, in this lifetime, be perfectly good, no matter how many good things we do, no matter how much we attend church, no matter how much we pray, no matter how much we sacrifice, no matter how much money we give to charity. Perfection can't be earned and it can't be bought. Yet it has been given to us. Because of Jesus we have been made perfect. Some day that will be the reality in which we exist, because of Jesus. Hebrews 10:14 says –"because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."

I believe that scripture is true, therefore I can sing about a perfect world and a perfect heart, with hope. Though I know nothing I do can clear away the corruption in the world or in my heart, I know Jesus is continually at work in both. His genius does arise and gives us a hint of what perfection looks like. It looks like Him.

# Out on a Ledge?

Psalm 40:17

My brother shrugged. I fumed. We had driven to the cliffs on Lake Superior to go rock climbing, and he had forgotten his boots!

"Fine," I spat. "I'll go by myself."

I stormed off, a warning light flashing in my brain: no partner, no rope = danger. I suppressed it and started to climb. Soon, I faced a problem. A rock formation loomed out above me, forming a wide ledge. To get to it, I would have to risk clinging to a surface in mid air. I considered turning back, but the view from that ledge would be spectacular. I kept going and soon heaved myself up over the lip. The view of the white-capped vastness of one of North America's 'inland seas' was breathtaking. I was smug. I knew I could do it alone.

Then I had to start back. I looked down. I could not see the cliff directly below. I scanned the ledge to find a place from which I could safely descend. I wished my brother were with me, with a rope. Finally, I picked a spot and lowered myself over the edge. My feet found no toe hold. My legs swung into open air. The rock I clung to shifted. I grasped for a better hold, but the earth crumbled in my hands. Then I saw the cliff face blur, the clouds streamed by like time-lapsed photography and the ground rushed up at me. I screamed: "God, I'm falling!" Then, in a rare moment of clarity, I knew He knew it, and I was entirely calm. I knew I was going to land on one leg. I knew I had to protect my head. Then the lights went out.

Months later I returned to that cliff. The spot where I descended was directly above a slope of loose shale. A few feet to either side, the cliff face fell away sharply, for another twenty-five feet, to the rocks below. Falling thirty feet left me badly banged up. Falling fifty-five feet onto jagged rock would have killed me.

The foolishness of that day has often come to mind. So has that moment of calling out to God. At that time in my life, I had decided I didn't want anything to do with Jesus. I decided I could go it alone. No partner. No rope. It took a long fall into misery before I called out to Him again. The amazing thing is, He knew all about the mess I'd gotten myself into and He was still willing to respond. He heard my cry that day on the cliff and He heard me years later. In fact, even when I didn't realize I needed Him, He was there, every single day. He still is.

Psalm 40:17 says – "Yet I am poor and needy ... You are my help and my deliverer." Are you climbing with no partner, no rope? Know Jesus is with you, even if you're out on a ledge and can't see the way down.

# A Day at The Beach and A Lesson on God's Love

Isaiah 46:4b; John 17

The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sky was clear, the sun dancing off the water. The beach slowly filled with parents and children, out to enjoy a day at the beach. After an overnight camp out, my friend and I had brought a few girls from our church's kids' club to have a swim and a picnic. We stretched out on the sand and chatted as we watched the children play. Little ones were busy making sandcastles. An older pair tossed a Frisbee above their heads.

A little red-haired girl caught my attention. She had wandered in front of us a few times, as she dashed from the edge of the lake to her mother, sitting in a lawn chair not far away. I watched as she stood still, her small head bent studiously over something in her hand. She turned and started toward us, stopped and peered at her hand once more, took a few more steps and stopped again. Her progress was slow as this pattern was repeated. As she approached, I could see a moth cupped in her palm. She tilted her hand each time it moved, stopped when it crawled dangerously close to the edge and moved slowly forward when it was secure again. Eventually the little girl reached her parent, holding her hand out for her to admire the precious treasure.

My delight in watching that little girl deepened as I realized God had just given me a picture of Himself. His care for each one of us is no less complete than the careful protection she provided for that small moth. Isaiah 46:4(b) says – "I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." God holds us in His hand and takes great care to keep us there. In John 17:12, as Jesus prays to His Father on our behalf, He says – "I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost..."

Like that child who was so obviously pleased to show her Mom the treasure in her hand, Jesus delights in presenting us to His Father, the God of the Universe. We are His precious ones. As He prayed in John 17, Jesus presented us to His Father and asked Him to protect us, to set us apart from the evil in the world and draw us into a complete relationship with Himself. He makes some startling statements in that passage, statements which reveal the depth of the concern and love God has for us. He says – "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me" (v.23). How incredible to think God loves us as much as he does His own Son!

Are you aware of being cupped in God's hand? Know his love and protection are sure. "None has been lost..."

# Signposts and Other Living Things

Hebrews 11

I once lived in a town with no street signs. At first that was a problem, because I didn't know the history of the people. Someone would invite me over and describe where they lived by telling me whose house it used to be, or whose house it was near: "It used to be Old Pete's place. Oh. You didn't know Old Pete? Do you know Joe's house? Hmmm...well, it's around the corner from Blackfoot John's place, you know, where Crazy Cathy used to live..."

It took a while to find my way. Eventually, I learned about the people and the events that had distinguished them and the houses where they lived. Then the town council decided it was time to put up some signs. They looked good. I found out Old Pete had lived on the corner of 6th and Front Streets. For the first while, nobody referred to his place that way. They still said, "It's around the corner from Blackfoot John's."

Then winter came. They discovered the signs stood just a little too far into the street. The snow plough operators weren't used to them being there. By spring they weren't. The next summer the town put a few back up, but it was a heavy snow that winter and by spring the signs had disappeared again. Town council decided to stop wasting money and left the streets unsigned.

Years later, the town had an influx of tourists. Strangers flooded in every summer. I knew the place was becoming home when I found myself giving directions like: "It's right behind the house where Grizzly Jack used to live." Soon, tourists and locals were frustrated with the inefficiency. Then the town invested in some heavy metal posts topped by large numbered signs, set firmly on the corners well back from the path of snowploughs and other large objects. The locals still used the 'historical' method among themselves, but when a stranger asked directions, the signs made life easier. I was a bit sad when they became, more and more, the only way people gave directions. Before the signs went up, the places were known by the people who had lived there. The people were the essential ingredient.

In Hebrews 11, there is a long list of people. The writer lays out a pattern of faith from one generation to the next, using the stories of the lives of those gone by. It is a pattern we would do well to imitate. God's glory is manifest in the stories of His people, those who have lived and are living lives of faith. We should all know them. There's a great book about them, called the Bible. It's a portrait of the face of God, evidenced in the lives of His people. Hebrews 11 is a good place to start. Why not read it today? (If you need one, you can find me in the house where Jackie and Darren used to live.)

# Freedom is Ours!

John 8:36

The sound was far off at first, a faint rumble like low thunder. We heard it from inside the house and both of us raised our heads. The volume increased and we went to the window. Though we couldn't see anything, the sound indicated something was happening. We went to the door. There was a stillness in the air, an anticipation, and that rumbling...now it sounded more like a huge grinding stone, rolling down from the hills around us. Our dogs began to bark. We raced to the bank of the river as realization dawned. It was a day we'd been waiting for: break-up on the Klondike River.

We watched as the uneven white surface began to heave. The noise was now deafening. A giant had been imprisoned for many months and would tolerate it no more. In a matter of minutes we had to flee the rushing torrent as water gushed over the banks. Enormous slabs of ice began to move. Some were tipped on end and pushed before the force of the water. Whole trees were swept from the banks and tossed into the air like toy batons. The Klondike was free!

I remember the feeling of that moment, as though something in me had been set free as well. It's the feeling we all long for at that time of year, when spring is about to erupt around us. It's the kind of feeling you get when you are released from something that has been holding you down. We all know what that's like - perhaps it's a job that seems like never-ending drudgery, or a sickness that won't go away. Perhaps it's a heavy debt that seems impossible to repay or a responsibility that's too heavy to carry. Life is full of chains, real and imagined.

But there is freedom. Like the Klondike River, our spirits can leap unhindered, rejoicing. In the Gospel of John, the apostle says – "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:36). The freedom Christ offers is rooted in unconditional love and complete forgiveness. It is a freedom that goes beyond circumstance or physical pain. It is a freedom that will never end.

Can you feel it? Are you longing for it? When Spring erupts, creation is freed from the long restrictive winter. How about you? Don't tolerate the chains any longer. Freedom is yours for the asking.

# When Dreams are Shattered

Matthew 11

The young couple were in love. They talked for hours about their future, making plans and dreaming dreams. They married and had two children, went into business and looked forward to owning their own home. The world was a wonderful place. Then war was declared. It was six years before the young man returned, broken in body and spirit. He did not recognize his children. His wife had changed. He no longer dreamed peaceful dreams.

A young man at the height of his athletic career was about to sign a lucrative contract. He went in for a routine physical examination and the results shattered his dreams. He had a degenerative disease. The future would not include adoring fans, trophies and awards banquets but wheel chairs and long months in a lonely hospital bed.

A young woman won four million dollars in the lottery. Within a short time her life fell apart. Wealth did not solve her problems, but created more. She could not cope with the incessant demands. She lost her husband and became estranged from other family, found she had no real friends and attempted suicide.

Somewhere, at some time, someone's dreams splinter into a million pieces, crushed by reality. An accident kills or maims, a degenerative disease gives a bleak forecast of the future. One small mistake changes someone's life forever. Sudden prosperity and fame turns out to be a curse. We all know life does not always turn out the way we had hoped. It's full of surprises and not all of them are pleasant.

One of my favourite recording artists sings a song with this line: "What if all my dreams come true - what if none of them do?" The song goes on to say there is always hope, because God is always God. In the face of broken dreams He opens His arms and says, "Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life .... Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." (Matthew 11, The Message). These unforced rhythms are perhaps best learned in a place of loss and pain, when all of our struggling has been in vain. It is then the contrast is stark, the paradoxes which characterize faith come into focus - joy in the midst of sorrow, peace in the midst of turmoil, love in the midst of violence. It is then they become real.

When dreams are crushed, God offers a new hope, a new wholeness. Life rarely turns out the way we dreamed it would, but there is something far better - a life lived in step with God. In that reality, no matter how life turns out, joy and peace are ours forever.

# The Puppy Who Wasn't

1 Corinthians 10:11; Hebrews 12:25

Dropping in on a friend unexpectedly isn't always a good idea, but some of us live a bit spontaneously. I decided to drop in on my friend, Lynn, one day, when she was living in a small apartment above a welding shop. The location was out of town and isolated enough that the owner, Mike, had bought a watchdog. When I arrived, the dog, called "Puppy," got to his feet and barked. I told him to go lie down, and headed for the side door of the building. You see I knew Puppy. He was anything but the cute cuddly little thing his name implied. He was massive and ugly, but he'd always been friendly when I had visited on other occasions. On this occasion, however, I did not know the owner was not home and had left the dog on guard. I was a bit surprised when Puppy suddenly appeared at my side just as I reached the door. He didn't growl, just peered at me with doleful yellow eyes. I patted his head and put my hand on the doorknob. Puppy wrapped his vice-like jaws around my wrist, applying just enough pressure to leave significant red marks. His yellow eyes were riveted on the doorknob. I let go of it. Puppy let go of my arm. For a brief second we stared at one another. I backed away and puppy trotted off, his job done. I made a mental note to always call before visiting Lynn in the future.

When I told the owner what his watchdog had done that day, Mike grinned widely and said he was going to buy Puppy a steak. "That's what he's trained to do," Mike said. "I don't want anyone hurt, I just want them warned." I thanked him for his consideration.

Warnings are good things. They keep us from harm. God's warnings, scattered throughout the Bible, also serve that purpose. In 1Corinthians 10:11 the apostle Paul tells us - "these things....were written down as a warning for us..." We are warned to "watch out," "be alert," "guard your hearts." We are warned away from certain thoughts and actions and guided toward others.

To be effective, a warning must be heeded. Puppy's warning would have done me no good had I turned that doorknob. God's warnings are the same, as the writer of Hebrews says – "So don't turn a deaf ear to these gracious words. If those who ignored earthly warnings didn't get away with it, what will happen to us if we turn our backs on heavenly warnings? His voice that time shook the earth to its foundations; this time – He's told us this quite plainly – he'll also rock the heavens..." (Hebrews 12:25 The Message, E. Petersen).

# No Better Advice

John 14:23

In some movies, especially those created for children, the struggle between good and evil is clear. The bad guys are obvious. If the story is well done, it depicts how evil works, it reveals the deception and the snare. The movie, _Hook_ , now on the 'cheap rack' in most video stores, is one such story. We all know who the bad guy is. He is recognizable by his appearance and by his actions. Captain Hook is like a spider that ensnares its victim one strand at a time. The villain admits he does not hate the boy he tries to ensnare, he hates the boy's father. He knows the best way to hurt the father is to take his son away from him. His strategy is plain: he lures the boy with promises of adventure and fun, telling him he is free to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Hook encourages him to vent his anger in destructive ways. He tells him his anger is justified and emphasizes all the times his father has disappointed him. The Captain continually highlights the negative and subverts the boy's natural affection for his father. The villain almost succeeds.

In the movie, Captain Hook is a villain, or, more specifically, the evil one. When we are angry with God, or God's people, we are prone to being caught in his trap. We begin to believe we have a right to be angry. We believe we should be allowed to vent that anger, no matter how destructive it is. We dredge up all the past wrongs done to us, point to all the disappointments and all the hurt. We emphasize the negative. Our natural affection for our Father is subverted. In this world of pain and discouragements, it is very easy to start listening to the lies that pull us into this way of thinking and acting. Our pain becomes a barrier to everything good. We choose to stay in a place where we can nurse our hurt.

In the movie, Hook's young victim is rescued by the bungling of Hook's men at a baseball game. They hold up a sign to encourage him to hit a home run, but mix the words so the boy is faced with the sign and the chanting of, "Run home, Jack." The words cause him to return to his true father.

When we are faced with anger and pain there is no better advice than to run home. In John 14:23, the apostle says - "... and we will come to Him and make our home with Him." Home with the Father is the only safe place to be, the place where anger turns to repentance and pain to joy, as we are engulfed in the Father's love. Are you angry with God or his people? Run Home.

# Employee or Friend?

John 21:15-19

The man behind the desk flipped through the pages in his hands, his eyes scanning rapidly down the information. I tried not to fidget, wondering if the resume I had put together was adequate. Did I have the right qualifications for this job? Would this employer be impressed, or would he toss the list of my life's accomplishments on a pile, with dozens of others? After what seemed like an interminable time, he raised his eyes and smiled. "Looks good," he said, "I'll schedule an interview." I breathed a sigh of relief. I had made it past the first hurdle.

Does this sound familiar? Most of us have gone through the job interview process at some point in our lives. It can be a stressful time, leaving you with the helpless feeling that your whole life is in the hands of strangers and everything depends on what they believe you can or cannot do. Any sign of weakness could be fatal. Any admission that there are gaps in your knowledge could mean failure. The number one rule is, 'make them believe you can do it.'

Reading about Peter, one of the disciples of Christ, is like reading about someone going through this process. Peter wanted the job. He wanted to work for Jesus. He wanted to perform whatever task was necessary to please his employer. He wanted desperately to prove himself. In spite of his zeal, the only thing he proved was that he was a complete failure at being a good employee. When the rubber hit the road, he even denied he knew the boss. By his own standards and the standards of the world, Peter was a complete loser.

But to Jesus, the good part was just about to begin. After Peter's failure, after His own death and resurrection, He came to Peter and asked him a question. He didn't ask the disciple if he had somehow gained the intestinal fortitude to do the work. He didn't ask what training he'd picked up since they were last together. He didn't ask how hard he was willing to work to make up for his dismal performance to date.

Jesus asked, "Peter, do you love me?" (John 21:15-19)

When Peter said yes to that question, Jesus gave him a position he would never have imagined he would hold. Jesus made him a partner, a co-heir in the company.

Jesus doesn't need nor want employees. He doesn't care what you can or cannot do. He wants brothers and sisters, friends, who simply love Him for who He is. He wants you!

# A Little Exposure is Good For Us All

John 1:9

I checked my pack one last time: water, sun block, insect repellant, camera. I was ready. Our trek through the rainforest of Papua New Guinea would take about four hours, if the trail was dry. I'd been praying for weeks that it would be, and although we'd heard reports of flash floods in the adjacent valley, it looked like my prayers had been answered. The first river we had to ford was low and the winding path through the jungle was relatively easy to manage. I relaxed and began to enjoy the walk. The dense vegetation afforded many opportunities to photograph the lush plant life. The quick flashes of vibrantly coloured birds and butterflies were reasons to keep my camera ready. As we forded the second river, we were awed by the appearance of a large black Cockatoo, rare in comparison to the common white variety, and the unmistakable sound of a giant hornbill often made my camera shutter click. By the time we reached our destination, I had gone through the entire roll of film and I was excited about the things I managed to capture.

Our flight arrived and we climbed into the small plane. As I twisted around to pull the seatbelt into place, my camera slipped off my knee onto the floor. I was just quick enough to see the back pop open as it landed, exposing the film. Unfortunately, I hadn't yet rewound it. Although I reacted quickly and snapped the case closed again, when the film was developed my worst fear was realized. The role was entirely blank. Not even one image had survived the exposure to the light.

When we confess our sins to God, we are exposing them to the light of His forgiveness. His forgiveness is complete. David, the Psalmist says – "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12). Like film exposed to the light, our sin is blotted out. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins ..." the apostle John assures us (John1:9). So why live with it? Get rid of it forever.

# Bad News, Good News

Acts 3:1-10

The man was used to sitting at people's feet. He was used to watching them come and go, on strong legs. He was used to being ignored. He was used to begging. At least he had a good spot that day, at the temple gate, and he was there at the right time, the time of prayer. There would be a lot of devoted Jews passing by, men inclined to toss a coin to a beggar. When he saw Peter and John, he no doubt thought they were likely to be generous. His head down, eyes on the ground, he held up his bowl and asked for money.

What happened then must have amazed him. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!"

I wonder what raced through that man's mind at that moment. Did his heart race with fear or was he hopeful? Did he expect a greater gift from these two who spoke to him? No doubt his heart sank when Peter gave him the bad news - "silver or gold I do not have." But then came the good news: "but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk....and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong" (Acts 3:6-7). The beggar did not get what he asked for. He got what he really needed.

When we ask God for something we want or need, we have an expectation. After all, He said He'd take care of us. We expect Him to come up with the answer we want to hear. It's a bit of a shock when He says, "No." We try to wriggle away from that answer. We rationalize: "That can't be from God. After all, what I asked for is good for me. There's no reason for Him to say no. I'll ask again." So we ask again, and again. But God doesn't perform. Maybe He hasn't been listening, hasn't been paying attention. So we explain the situation. We remind Him of His promises and ask again. And again. Still the answer is, "No."

At that point we have a choice. We can be angry with God, or we can accept that He knows what is best, and be thankful for the good news. Like the beggar, we see our lives from a limited perspective. God is listening. He is paying attention. Like Peter and John, He's looking right at us and asking that we look at Him, look and receive the good news.

The better gift the man in Acts 3 received was not the ability to walk, though that was reason to rejoice. The better gift was praise. A man who had been in a place of hopelessness was now "praising God." He was given some very good news: there is hope because God cares. Being able to walk was the bonus.

When God gives us "the bad news," we should be able to accept it and rejoice because we know He has given a far greater gift, the "good news" of His love for us. Anything else is bonus.

# Like Explorers of Old

John 17:3

During my early school days I was fascinated by stories of the Voyageurs. I loved the pictures in our history books, showing them in their long canoes paddling hard through white water. I suppose my history teachers were able to bring them to life for me because all I had to do was look out the window to see part of the waterway they navigated. I could see freighters and ocean vessels moving slowly along the route those early explorers mapped, a tiny stretch of water called the St. Mary's River.

There isn't much white water there anymore, the channel has been dredged and a system of locks built to accommodate the huge ships. But I often thought what it must have been like for those men, who had toiled through three huge bodies of water, to come to the tiny St. Mary's River. Did they think it was the end, at last? Did they believe the native guides who told them there was yet another lake, "the mighty Gitchigumi," larger and more imposing than anything they had yet encountered? I can imagine their conversation around the fire as they prepared to shoot the rapids the next day. "What do you think, Etienne? Does this river just peter out, or lead to something bigger? Is this the end, or another beginning?"

It must have been with a great deal of trepidation and excitement that those men set off to see what was beyond. They had heard only rumours, stories of something more, something bigger and more awesome than they could envision. They must have wondered if they could cope with it. Were their boats big enough? Could they navigate a body of water so huge? They must have bolstered themselves by looking back, remembering what they had already been through. Their boats were strong and so were they. They were prepared to face what might be at the end of the river.

Eventually all of us will reach that point. We too will move through a narrow place and go beyond. What we find there depends on what we have chosen before. It depends very much on how we have prepared. 2 Samuel 14:14 says - "Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead He devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from Him." The way God has devised is stated plainly in John 17:3 – "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."

Imagine the awe when the Voyageurs arrived at the end of the St. Mary's River and Lake Superior opened before them. Imagine the excitement of discovering not an end, but another beginning. Imagine the excitement we each will know as we move from this physical realm into God's realm. Don't cheat yourself of that new beginning. Be prepared for it. Seek God and His Son now.

# The Frustration of Finding Nothing

Matthew 7:7

It's a dot com world. At the touch of a keyboard the world opens before us. We can find out the weather and political climate in any country on earth. We can track the tides of the oceans and plot the course of the stars. We can find long-lost schoolmates or biological parents. We can communicate with our neighbours on the other side of the globe or the other side of town. The world is at our fingertips. Those of us who navigate within it face a challenge. Traveling the cyberspace highway has its hazards. It can seem like trying to find your way in a house full of doors that lead nowhere.

I discovered the frustration of trying to find my way in that house one day this week. I was looking for something specific and started clicking into one website after another. The more I looked, the more elusive the information seemed to be. I clicked into sites that promised much but delivered little. Each door seemed only to lead to the next, and that to another, with nothing of substance to be found behind them.

Our lives can sometimes seem that way. We search for the fulfillment and contentment that seems so elusive, opening doors continually, doors to careers, hobbies, holidays, religions, always hopeful of discovering the secret, but finding nothing but another door. It becomes a chase reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland, running after the rabbit. It is a chase in a world that makes no sense, where questions are answered by more questions.

Why then do we so often end with the frustration of finding nothing? After following my rabbit trail into cyberspace the other day, I realized I had to shut everything down, go back to the beginning and start again. The problem was, I had been asking the wrong question and accessing the wrong source.

Just so with life. We go to sources that have no answers and ask: "How can I be happy?" God is waiting for us to come to Him and ask: "Who are you?" It might seem like an unusual question but the answers and even the deeper questions that come from it will lead to the peace, contentment and fulfillment we are looking for. The answer is not in a career, a hobby, a holiday or a religion. The answer is in a relationship.

Are you knocking on doors and finding nothing? Shut down the distractions and stand before the door that will open into a world more refreshing and exciting than you could imagine. Jesus says – "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who seeks finds and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7) The door to a relationship with God will always open and it will always satisfy.

# Words Don't Always Say What They Mean

Psalm 12:6

The voice coming out of the speaker was clipped and rapid. "What kind of muffin would you like? We have carrot, fat wise carrot, blueberry, fat wise blueberry, cranberry and fat wise cranberry."

My husband and I fell into a fit of giggles. Fat wise? As we waited at the second window for the goods to be delivered, he joked. "I wonder if it talks? If it's wise, it must be able to talk. What do you think a wise muffin would say?"

"I only care about the fat part," I replied. "A nice plump muffin. Yup. That's what I want."

The muffin was, in fact, small, heavy as a stone and decidedly mute. As we pulled away from the fast-food restaurant, my husband continued his banter about fat wise muffins until my daughter groaned and asked him to quit. He shook his head. "I feel sorry for people coming to this country and trying to learn English."

Sometimes the way we use words makes no sense. This seems to be particularly true in advertising. For instance, consider the expressions – 'colour me smooth,' and 'a sandwich just isn't a sandwich,' or 'lips that don't quit.' Our culture speaks in slogans and metaphors, not to mention anagrams. Directions can be completely misunderstood by the absence of one word, the meaning of a sentence changed by a misplaced comma. Often these can be quite humourous, but they are all hindrances to clear communication. It's no wonder we laugh at the poster that reads, "I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

Words can obscure understanding even when intentions are pure. Words can twist meaning when intentions are evil. There are, however, words that can be trusted, words that are meant to heal and bless, words that will never die. In Psalm 12:6, the writer states, "And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times." And the prophet Isaiah says – "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."(Isa. 55:10-11)

What words does the Lord speak to us? Words of assurance and comfort, words of challenge and sometimes reproach, words of guidance and warning. Our culture lives by the words of advertisers and slogan writers, words meant to spin the coin out of our pockets. God's words are meant to bring truth, life, peace. Whose words have you chosen?

# Two Days After

Psalm 112:7-8

The line of people snaked through Pearson Airport with a low hum of conversation, broken now and then by the buzz of electronic devices - hair dryers and razors being plugged in, to prove they weren't fake. Armed men roamed through the crowd. At the counter, luggage was opened, personal belongings tossed about, nail files and fingernail clippers taken out, purses and brief cases tagged. One woman looked embarrassed at needing a stranger's help to get her suitcase closed again. Another looked flustered as a long screw-driver was pulled from her handbag. "I forgot it was in there," she explained. The security guard wasn't smiling. One man said, "They can search me six ways to Sunday. The more they do, the more secure I feel."

As I waited in the departure lounge hours later, I realized there were not many people there who looked like they felt secure. Most were fidgeting, some pacing. All were taking careful note of those who would be boarding the same plane. A tall man standing by the window seemed especially diligent. He was not looking out the window, but studying the people. I noticed him survey each person's bag, his eyes lingering on each purse, each briefcase. He also studied the faces, his eyes not shifting away when they looked directly at him. As we boarded the plane, he stood behind the stewardess, watching.

Security. It is a word we have heard continually in the aftermath of the attack on the World Trade Center. No doubt many will continually wonder, how secure are we, really? Will the security measures taken at airports and borders really make a difference? Will all the efforts to protect the western world from another such attack guarantee it won't happen again? The underlying reality creeps from beneath these questions - there is no guarantee. Must we then, like the people of so many other countries, live in constant fear? Must we change our daily habits and train our children to do likewise? No doubt our lives have changed as a result of the attack on the United States, but there is one constant that remains.

The writer of Hebrews 13:6 says – "So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' The only real security lies in trusting God. Putting your faith in Jesus guarantees, not a life without conflict or stress, but a life of peace in spite of circumstances, a calm heart that conquers fear. The writer of Psalm 112:7-8 states - "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure ..."

Boarding a 757 two days after one was used as a flying bomb did make me realize, Jesus is the only guarantee.

# Irish Brogue And the Genetic Code

Genesis 1:27

It was my first visit to a new doctor. I was pregnant with my third child, so he wanted to know my medical history. As I recited the litany of childhood diseases, the rare occasions I'd been hospitalized and the details of my other pregnancies, the doctor took notes. Then he asked, "Where are you from, originally?"

"Ontario," I admitted.

"And your parents?"

"The Ottawa Valley."

"What about your grandparents?"

I was beginning to wonder what this had to do with my medical history, but answered. "I think my grandfather was born in Ireland, but I'm not sure. It may have been my great-grandfather."

The doctor smiled. "I knew it. I could hear it in your voice."

I was amazed. Those roots went back several generations, and I considered myself an unhyphenated Canadian, so it was a surprise to know there was still something that tied me so strongly to my origins.

Recently scientists announced a discovery that astonished the world. They had succeeded in mapping the genetic code, unraveling the secrets of the blueprint of human kind. They were stunned to discover the genetic code of all humans is incredibly similar. In fact, they stated that it appeared all humankind had descended from the same source. We are all, indeed, brothers and sisters.

Of course, we already knew that. At least, those who have read the book of Genesis knew it. Genesis 1:27 says – "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

That's our ancestry, our beginning point. The rest of Genesis, indeed, the rest of the Bible, is our history. We can take it personally. The pattern of life laid out in its pages, the heroism and the villainy, the glory and the debauchery, the victory and the defeat, all of it is part of who we are. And it shows. There is something in us, something as subtle as the faint tinge of Irish brogue the doctor heard in my voice, connecting us to our origins. We feel the pull of it now and then. We've known the truth of it, even if we've never read Genesis. We know who we are. We know who our Father is.

Why, then do we deny it? Why have we tried so hard to invent an alternate history? The answer, again, is in Genesis. Adam and Eve disobeyed their Father. They hid from Him and He was forced to remove them from their protected environment. Sin had invaded mankind's history, and our rejection of God became a common theme.

But there is more, there is hope, for "...just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men." (Romans 5:18). Jesus, our ancestor, our brother, is also our Saviour. The truth is in us. Why deny it?

# The Power of Yes

2 Corinthians 1:19-20

When my children were quite young, I was given a wise piece of advice. I think it was in one of those self-help books for parents, or perhaps in a magazine. The advice was simple: say yes whenever possible. The suggestion struck me because I realized most of my day was spent saying no. Kids have to learn boundaries and it is up to parents to show them where they are. That inevitably leads to a lot of no's in the course of a day, but it seemed it also lead to days without much joy in them. It's hard to have fun in the face of a firm, "no!" So I tried to put the 'yes' back into our days.

Like the time my seven and five year old daughters asked for a pail of water. "What for?" my suspicious motherly mind asked. "We're going to make mud pies," the seven year old answered. My mouth automatically started forming the N word. The eager and pleading look on the girls' faces stopped me and when they assured me they'd only get a "little bit dirty," I couldn't resist. I let the Y word slip out. After all, with a washing machine and powerful detergents on hand, why should I worry about a little dirt? The result was two very muddy but extremely happy little girls who played together for almost two hours without the usual sibling rivalry. I had discovered the power of Yes.

When we think of religion, religion of any kind, we usually think of the word no. Religion is about rules and boundaries, about self-denial and rigid restrictions. That's one of the reasons why I kept religion out of my life for many years. Then one day I discovered Christianity, a relationship with Jesus, deals primarily with the word yes. Oh there are those Ten Commandments, and other rules and guidelines, but they are on the fringe of the thing. The core is a loud, emphatic, powerful, "Yes!" Jesus says it continually through the gospels - yes, I love you; yes, I'm listening; yes, I feel your pain and sorrow; yes I am with you always; yes, my plans for you are good and whole and will be accomplished.

In 2 Corinthians 1:19-20, the apostle Paul says - "For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you...was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been, "Yes." For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ."

Our lives, like those of children learning boundaries, are full of the word, 'no.' We hear, see, and feel it continually. Without it our lives would be ruled by chaos. But without the word, 'yes,' our lives are dull and duty-bound. We must hear, see and feel the 'yes' of Christ in our lives in order to experience true joy. Cultivate a relationship with Jesus. Discover the power of His 'Yes!' today.

# Divine Appointments

Acts 8

"We believe," the woman said, "that everyone who walks through the door of our counseling office is a divine appointment." I had never heard that expression before, and it left me with a sense of awe. The idea that God would actually send someone to a specific place and even to a specific person, was astounding. I began to think of all the people in my life, family members, friends, complete strangers, near and far, with whom I interacted. I thought of all the times I had popped in to visit someone, or called because they were on my mind. I thought of all the times I had thought of visiting, or calling, but failed to do it. I wondered if there were 'God intentions' wrapped up in some of them. I thought of one call I made, after a week of thinking about a friend who lived far away. We had once been close, but over time and distance, our friendship was reduced to a letter at Christmas. When I finally called, she told me her mother had passed away at the beginning of the week. A divine appointment? I think so.

I thought about the times I had talked with someone, or heard a sermon, or listened to a piece of music or a radio program, even a T.V. show, and something was said which had a profound effect on me. I remember attending a Sunday morning service in an unfamiliar church, surrounded by strangers, and being moved and challenged by the message, a message that seemed to be just for me. Then, on returning home, I found out my father had died. That Sunday morning message kept me going for weeks, in the midst of grief. A divine appointment? I think so.

The Bible is full of divine appointments. God often sent people to specific places at specific times for specific purposes. One such incident happened in the book of Acts, chapter 8. "Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, 'Go south to the road \- the desert road - that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.' So he started out and on his way he met an Ethiopian..." It just so happened, that the Ethiopian was reading a portion of scripture. It just so happened that he did not understand what he was reading. It just so happened that Philip asked him, "Do you understand what you are reading?" It just so happened that the passage was from Isaiah \- a passage about a lamb being led to the slaughter. It just so happened that Philip was able to explain that particular passage because he had met the One to whom the passage referred. It just so happened the Ethiopian was eager to hear, eager to understand, eager to know his Saviour. A divine appointment? No doubt.

Think about it. What divine appointments have you had? There may be one or two lined up for you this week!

# Peace and Safety in A High Risk Zone

Psalm 37:3

"This is not a safe place." The Australian director of the Pacific Orientation Centre paced the floor like a military drill sergeant, his eyes flashing, scanning to connect with each of us. "Keep your wits about you! Stay alert! You women should never go anywhere alone." I gulped. We were going to live in Papua New Guinea for a full year. The reality of our situation hit and when we were assigned a house in the "high risk" zone of the mission centre, I didn't sleep very well. Perhaps that was because we slept with a large baseball bat beside the bed. Our doors were locked day and night, even when we were in the house. When I had to go to the market, I made sure at least one of my neighbours could walk with me. I did not let my children out of my sight.

Then, just as darkness fell one night, there was a knock on the door. We peered through the window at a young national boy, about sixteen years old. In rapid Melanesian Pidgin he explained he had gotten locked into the centre. He was looking for relatives. He wanted to use our phone. My husband told him to stay there and called security. I will never forget the look of terror on that boy's face when the security guards roared up and took him away. I went to bed that night feeling miserable. After a long night praying, I made a decision. I was not going to live like this anymore. It was making a wreck out of me, and it did not honor God.

I made a call to the security office to make it clear the young man on our doorstep had done nothing wrong. I was relieved when they informed me he had been delivered to his relatives, unharmed. Then I walked to the market, alone. I learned the names of the women I bought vegetables from, and lingered to chat with the men selling baskets. They told me about their villages, their children and their gardens. Over time, we grew to know and to love the people. Over time, we learned to value them more than the possessions in our house, temporary things that would eventually be taken from us by the normal progression of life. We learned that being harmed, even being killed, was not to be dreaded so much as living fearfully.

The possibility of violence and danger surrounds us wherever we go. Our only true security lies in knowing God is in control. In Psalm 37:3, David says - "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture." We are able to live as peacefully as sheep grazing in rich grass, no matter where we are, when we know there is a loving Shepherd watching over us. We are able to live lives filled with joy, not fear, when we trust Him and act in ways that honor Him.

# Almost There?

Psalm 46:10

I plunked down into the largest, most comfortable chair in our family room, looked around me and groaned. "Will we ever be ready?" My husband chuckled. "Almost there," he said, "Almost there." I didn't like that word 'almost,' but I recognized he was right. Even though the house looked like a hurricane had struck, with tools and cans of paint scattered everywhere, boxes half full and bags brimming to the top, I did concede that we were getting closer to our goal. The house was almost ready to show to a realtor.

It took months of constant work, laying new rug, washing and painting walls, replacing doors, fixing and adding trim, sorting through closets and drawers and making umpteen trips to local shops in search of boxes. But I conceded in the end it was all worth the effort. Our home was looking so good I wanted to stay and live in it for a while longer. But that was not to be. It was time to move on.

Our spiritual lives can often seem like this same process. Sometimes we look at what seems like the chaos of our lives and we wonder, will we ever be ready to meet the Lord? We put in a lot of work and effort, doing what we think is expected of us as Christians. Sometimes we can see good results and are encouraged, but often it seems like we take two steps forward and three back. So we try harder and over time we make progress. We might even start to think we're almost there.

But we're wrong. Working hard at the spiritual disciplines is a good thing, but if we believe that's what is going to get us 'there,' we've slipped into a mentality that denies the power of the gospel and the power of what Christ did for us on the cross. There is nothing we can do to get there – nothing we can do to make God love us more – nothing we can do to make us worthy of entering into the presence of Jesus and His Father. Nothing.

Jesus has done it for us, by sacrificing his life, shedding his blood and taking on our sin so that we are able to stand justified before God Almighty. The astonishing mystery of that act is the pivot of history, the pivot of our very lives. The moment we recognize that Jesus died for us, we are free from having to work to 'get there.' We have already arrived.

All that we do from that moment on should not be from a sense of duty or need to do more to please God. It is rather an outpouring of our love for Him and the outpouring of His love through us. Perhaps the most profound and most effective phrase in scripture tells us this – "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) That is the moment of arrival.

# Mourning is Turned to Joy

Luke 24:47

John burst through the door of the cabin. His voice rising to a high pitch, he yelled as all eyes turned toward him. "Gord, your house is on fire!" Everyone moved at once, leaping up and heading for their vehicles. It was almost midnight but the sky was lit by an eerie glow. Gord and Wendy had built their two-story log home only a few months before. It was their dream house, but the building wasn't what they were thinking about as they sped toward the blaze. They had left their twelve year-old daughter at home, babysitting their three younger girls. As they pulled into their driveway it was obvious they could go no further. The heat from the flames shooting high into the air was too intense. They held each other and watched their home burn to the ground, hoping against hope that their children had gotten out. It was a full hour before they knew the fate of their four girls. Wendy later said it was the longest hour in her life.

Their eldest girl, Leslie, had woken to a strange sound. As she came wide awake, she realized it was coming from the chimney of their wood stove. By the time Leslie ran downstairs, the roof was on fire. She woke her sisters, grabbed their winter boots and coats and got them out the door. In -50 degree temperatures, she knew they had to find shelter, so she led the girls to a neighbour's cabin. When Wendy and Gord were reunited with their children, what they had lost was irrelevant. Relief and joy spilled out in thankful tears. Their girls were alive! Nothing else mattered.

Some 2000 years ago, a group of men and women gathered in a closed room, hiding. Suddenly some women burst into the room, yelling. "He's gone, His body is not there. He is risen!" Unlike Gord and Wendy, the men and women in that room knew their loved one was dead. They had watched his agony and been there the moment he called out, "It is finished." No wonder they did not believe what the women told them. Imagine their relief and joy when Jesus suddenly stood among them, dispelling their doubts, telling them not to be afraid. Imagine the tears of thankfulness as they realized what he had told them would happen had come true. Though he had been crucified, he had been resurrected. As the truth dawned on the followers of Christ, all the confusion and sorrow was swept away. Jesus was alive. Nothing else mattered.

Nothing else matters. Jesus is alive, "and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name to all nations..." (Luke 24:47) That is the joy of the resurrection, the joy that lives in the heart of every person who believes. It filled the hearts of those men and women 2,000 years ago and it still fills our hearts today.

# From Gray to Glorious

Ephesians 2:10

It was one of those mornings that don't start off very well. My alarm clock didn't work and my husband forgot that I had to be up early to make it to an appointment, so he didn't wake me. When I finally opened my eyes, I had just enough time to throw on some clothes and rush out the door. I made it to the appointment, but by the time it was over my stomach was growling and I was pining for a cup of decaf. So, true to the traditions of my country and culture, I headed for Tim Horton's donut shop.

The line for the drive-through was long, as usual, and I wasn't any too patient by the time I gave my order at the speaker-phone. As I edged forward to pick up my coffee and breakfast sandwich, I was digging in my purse for money and not paying too much attention to where I was going. No, I didn't bump into the car ahead of me, but I did not see what was going on around me either.

I didn't see them until I was right in front of them - two little boys, perhaps five or six years old, dressed in identical blue shirts. They were blonde, with huge blue-eyes and toothless grins. They were waving with great enthusiasm as the cars filed by the large windows. My reaction was immediate – I burst into a smile of my own, laughed out loud in fact, and waved enthusiastically back. It was then I noticed that the crowd inside the restaurant was taking great delight in watching the reaction of those driving by. Everyone was smiling.

I imagine God's delight at those two little boys, who, just by being themselves, brightened the day of everyone around them. I imagine He was pleased because they were just being who He had made them to be – a blessing to others.

We delight Him in that way too. He has made us to be a blessing to one another, as the writer of Ephesians said – "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Eph. 2:10). Every time we bless someone around us, He is blessed.

It doesn't take much – often just a smile or an encouraging word is enough to turn someone's day from gray to glorious. All we have to do is be who we were made to be. Those two little boys were doing it. We can too.

# Leaping Salmon and the Longings of Our Hearts

Psalm 63:1

Watching the salmon at the North Fork of the Klondike River was a lot like watching fireworks. Although we expected each explosion, we still let out an exclamation of appreciation. The salmon would erupt, flashing, gleaming with pure energy, huge orange and red bodies bursting out of the water. The dam was alive with them, the swift water no match for their instinctual race to spawn.

We always exclaimed as each one appeared, cheering them on, because we wanted them to win, to fling their bodies high and hard enough to escape the incessant pull of that water. We knew somehow they would do it and the cycle of life would continue, though many would die in the process. At the time I did not attribute any kind of philosophical meaning to our cheers, passionate as they were. I just knew we wanted the fish to win.

Now, however, I wonder why. Why were we so passionate about those slimy, bug-eyed creatures that could neither change their course nor articulate the reasons for their mad dash up that falls? Perhaps it was a sense of their fight being part of ours, their conquest of those unreasonable odds, somehow tied to our battle to do the same. We, too, are driven forward by unseen forces. The drive to succeed, the drive to create, to surround ourselves with love, beauty, peace and order, all of these lie deep in our being.

At the core of the salmon's fight upriver is the instinct for survival. At the core of our need for those things that captivate us, is the need to know our creator. We fight toward peace, order, beauty, and love and yes, even success in our lives, because these are part of the character of God. And, at our core, we know we need Him. We need Him as desperately as those salmon need to spawn.

Somewhere along the way, however, we confuse that need with the object of the race. We substitute the love, order, success, for the One who ordained that they exist. And we die a slow spiritual death. Just as surely as those salmon die on their journey, their very flesh disintegrating, so we will die, if we never reach the source of our longings. Though we are driven to satisfy them, the yearnings of our hearts can never be satiated apart from knowing God. In Psalm 63:1 David says, "O God... my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." It is through a relationship with the creator, who draws us through those yearnings, that we understand them and truly understand ourselves. David continues – "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you" (v.5).

Are you wearing yourself out, like a salmon in a waterfall, trying to satisfy the longings of your heart? Turn to the One whose essence is love, peace, order and beauty. You will be satisfied.

# When The Road Disappears

James 1:12

We were facing that long road once again. We knew every bend, every straight stretch and every dangerous descent. The Alaska Highway, all fifteen hundred miles of it, was no stranger. We sipped coffee in a diner and chatted with a local man. "Why don't you try that new road?" he suggested. "They say it's straighter so it's gotta be shorter." Spence's ears perked up. "New road?" "Yeah, it heads north near Hazelton. Can't miss it." We checked the map. There was no sign of a road heading north from New Hazelton, but the local 'expert' assured us the map was too old and the road too new. "It's there all right. Been on it myself."

Anxious to avoid the other route, we decided to take the risk and headed for the rugged countryside of northern B.C. We found the highway, and it did indeed look good. In fact, for the first fifty kilometers, the fresh pavement and beautiful scenery made us bless the man in the diner. Then the pavement ended. We had expected that. After all, it was a new road. The gravel was well graded for about the next twenty kilometers. Then the highway narrowed and it was obvious the grader had quit. Then the road looked more like a driveway than a highway. Then it happened. We rounded a bend and the road disappeared.

Huge machinery attempted to level piles of rubble before us. A flagman appeared, radio in hand as he stared at us, shook his head and turned back to the earthmovers. Spence pressed the accelerator and eased the truck forward. The flagman rushed over. "Where do you think you're going?" he shouted. "Whitehorse." Spence shouted back. "There's thirty klicks of rubble between here and the next section," the flag-man warned, shifted his hard hat and added, "but there's no blasting today." Spence patted the dash of our old '66 GMC. "She'll get us through." The man waved his flag with a flourish and we headed off. It took us several hours to negotiate those thirty kilometers, but eventually we found the other end of the road and celebrated our victory with relief. We'd made it! Our old truck had proven itself again.

Sometimes tragedy strikes and the road ahead seems filled with nothing but rubble. Despair lies just around the next bend. Yet there is hope and a promise. James 1:12 says – "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James uses a well-known example – "You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." (Jas.5:11)

Facing a road full of obstacles give us an opportunity to trust God. Keep moving forward and He will get you through. He's much more trustworthy than an old '66 GMC!

# Our Weakness and God's Strength

2 Corinthians 12

The tropical sun beamed down as I peered outside. Banana palms swayed in a grove by the river and the incessant sound of insects filled my ears. A pile of wet clothes lay in a basket at my feet. I looked at the long line stretched to the far end of the yard, then peeked up. No sign of clouds yet, but I knew if I didn't hang the clothes to dry by noon, I would likely have to run out to gather them as the first spits of rain fell. The rains came every day. So did my neighbour's pet. I scanned the trees around the house. No sign of him. Maybe he wouldn't show up today. I hefted the basket and stepped into the yard.

I was about half way along the line when the raucous sound tore through the still air. A rush of wing made me duck and my heart raced. I groaned as the huge Hornbill landed, tilting his oversized head to peer at me, his blinking eye seeming to say, "Gotcha again!" Every time I ventured out to hang up the laundry, that bird descended and gave me a fright. A friend has described the sound a Hornbill makes in flight as a helicopter with asthma. It's an apt description. Apparently the bird is missing a few pinions in its huge wings, so when it flies, the noise is loud and constant. Our neighbours had brought this Hornbill home when they discovered it had been injured. The odd creature seemed to delight in being around people. I know it loved to watch me hang up my laundry. Sometimes I would forget it was there until it made a swoop over my head. Then the adrenaline rush would catch me again.

As I watched that strange and rather ugly bird, I realized it's lack wasn't a mistake. It was God's design. Perhaps the noise the bird's wings make has some purpose necessary to its survival. Or perhaps the Hornbill is one of God's object lessons. Every time he takes flight, he announces his lack. There are many around us who do the same. Most we look at as slightly 'less than,' whether maimed physically, mentally or socially. We pity their weakness, or worse, we condemn them for it.

God sees weakness in a different light. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes his "thorn in the flesh," and explains – "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Paul was left to struggle with his 'thorn,' and as he struggled he grew in an understanding of God's grace.

Not all of us are like that Hornbill, whose weakness is obvious. Some of us are able to hide ours very well. But whether our struggles are obvious or not, God is waiting to supply the grace to deal with them, to His glory. Are you willing to let Him?

# God's Credit Cards

Philippians 4:19; Ephesians 1:18

It sure is nice that so many people want to give me money. The first time I received a letter saying I could access thousands of dollars, I was quite impressed. And tempted. Until I realized there was a catch. There was a hefty yearly fee and huge interest rate attached to the little plastic card they wanted to send me. Oh well, it was a nice thought while it lasted.

But then I had another thought. God has offered us a "credit card" of sorts. He tells us so in His word – "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) He has not only promised us this, He has proven it over and over again in the lives of His people around the world.

I was in the middle of teaching at our annual Vacation Bible School. The lesson had to do with God's provision for the Israelites as they wandered in the desert after being freed from slavery. After telling that story I asked the kids what God provided for them. Some immediately began to list things like their parents, food, clothing, shelter, even toys. But there were two who were silent. One of them spoke out boldly. "I don't believe it!" he shouted. The others shouted him down but at the end of the story time I decided to address his doubts. I told them another story – a personal story.

After three years in Bible College my husband and I had used up all of our resources. The money was gone. The cupboards were almost bare. And we had two small children to feed. I was getting worried, not only about having enough food to eat, but about having to move in a few weeks, having to rent a house, and furnish it. Where would the money come from? We started to pray.

Then one day I went to the post office and there was a registered letter waiting. I was a little annoyed when I saw it was from the Yukon Territorial Government. I thought they were sending my husband another piece of junk mail about a job he had held years before. But when we opened the letter and discovered there was a check in it for $250.00 I wasn't so annoyed. We were able to buy groceries. Then another check arrived, then another, and a couple of weeks later, another.

When all was said and done, the retroactive pay my husband received from a union settlement on a job he'd had four years earlier paid for our groceries, the move to a new community, rent when we arrived there and furniture for the house. God's timing and provision were astonishing and deeply humbling.

And there was no interest to be paid. Just praise and thanksgiving to a God who does provide, a God who loves us deeply and will never abandon us.

That little boy was wide-eyed when I finished telling that story. And then I could tell him there was more, because the spiritual riches God gives us are even better. As those kids left I prayed this prayer - "that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints." (Ephesians 1:18).

# Billy Crystal and the Apostle Paul

Philippians 3:4-8

Sometimes you find echoes of the Gospel in the most unlikely of places. Like movies. We were watching a re-run of an old one a while ago, called City Slickers. It's a comedy about a man, (Billy Crystal), who has lost his enthusiasm for life and tries to get it back by going on an adventure with his friends. They end up on a ranch where they're taught to ride horses and rope steers in preparation for a cattle drive. The antics are hilarious, especially when the trail boss, Curly, shows up. He is depicted as a slow-to-talk, quick-to-act old-time cowboy. The greenhorns are totally intimidated by him. The main character, however, ends up having a conversation with Curly that changes his life. After Billy explains his malaise with life, the old cowboy turns to him and asks, "What's the most important thing in life?" The greenhorn shrugs. The cowboy answers. "One thing." "One thing?" "That's right," Curly says. "Everything else is (excrement)." "Okay, so what's the one thing?" Billy asks. Curly smiles around his roll-your-own, "That's for you to find out."

Are you wondering what this has to do with the Gospel? Have a look at Philippians 3:4-8. The apostle Paul is talking about his life, about all the things he valued highly. He mentions the fact that he was born into the right family, who did all the right things to ensure his position from the time he was a baby; he worked his way up and made it all the way to the highest rank in his chosen profession; he worked hard and passionately believed in what he was doing. And then there came a time when he considered it all excrement. That was the day Paul met Jesus Christ.

He says, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, (original language = excrement), that I may gain Christ." (v.8) Paul had discovered that only one thing mattered, his relationship with Jesus.

We are very much like Paul. We've been born into a prosperous country. We've had the advantages of education and health care. We've been able to choose a career and pursue success, raise a family and pursue prosperity. Yet many are like the main character in City Slickers. They have no joy in life, no enthusiasm for what they do. Life has become just an exercise in survival. Others have great zeal, like Paul, but are on a road toward emptiness. All of that can change in one meeting, with Jesus Christ. He is the One Thing that matters in life. He is the One Person who matters. Once a relationship with Jesus is established, all other parts of your life fall into their proper place. Relationships, work, leisure, all the things we value as important, must fall under the "One Thing," a primary relationship with God.

As Curly said, "It's for you to find out." Paul said it too – "... press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me" (3:12b).

# Delusions of Grandeur

Genesis 11:4

It was a silly, pre-adolescent movie. The plot involved a group of misfits who wanted to be super-heroes. They dreamed about it, dressed like it, talked the talk and even tried to walk the walk. In the end they do save the day, of course, in a manner that would make all those who love underdogs cheer wildly. But in the end, one of the characters has learned that it's okay to be "just Roy." It's okay to be just a guy with an ordinary name, living a normal life.

We all have delusions of grandeur. We all have dreams of doing something great someday, something that gets noticed, something of significance. We all would like recognition, even a taste of fame. And of course the fortune that comes with it would be nice. Deep down inside, we all want to be 'somebody.' This common human trait goes back to man's earliest days. There's a record of it in the first book of the Bible. The writer of Genesis tells us the descendants of Noah disobeyed God and began to scheme. It seems they wanted to be super-heroes. "Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves..." (Genesis 11:4)

The desire for grandeur is part of us because in fact, we were create to be grand. We were created in the image of God, meant to be as glorious as a reflection of Him can and should be. So it's natural that we long for it, but like the descendants of Noah, we try to achieve greatness in ways that God does not support. He tells us to serve but we want to be the masters. He tells us to seek spiritual food, the knowledge of God, but we want burgers and fries and everything else the world offers. He tells us to care for the poor and the oppressed but we struggle for prosperity to ensure our own comfort. He tells us to praise and honor Him but we have better things to do with our time. Like the descendants of Noah, we want "a name for ourselves" and it is not the name God has given us.

All the things God tells us to do are meant to bring us the grandeur we seek. They are meant to make us more like Him. The irony is that we will achieve that grandeur only when we submit to Him and be content with who we are. When we discover that it's good to be "just Roy," a person living an ordinary life in obedience to God, we make a grand discovery. We realize we are growing into the image of God. Then the grandeur we seek falls in line with the grand creatures we were created to be, creatures who act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with their God. (Micah 6:8)

# A Rubber Raft, a Mighty River and the Book of Job

Job 38 & 39

It was a foolish thing to do and I should have known better, but the stress in my life at the time, plus a huge dollop of youthful obstinacy, blinded my better judgement. I set off, alone, in a small rubber raft, on the Yukon River. My destination was a friend's cabin somewhere downstream. I'd never been there but I put the thought of missing it out of my mind, even though going by it would mean I'd be on my way to Alaska. The raft was just big enough for me to stretch out - my legs touched the other end without any effort. There was only one paddle, so the raft rotated instead of going straight. The fact that I was extremely ill-prepared to be alone on such a vast river didn't occur to me until I was a few miles from anywhere, drifting in circles in the middle of it. The Yukon is wide and cold. Sitting there alone I remembered someone saying if you fell in you'd have two minutes or less before the cold shocked your body into death. I tried not to think about it.

I was out there because I was about to change the course of my life. Though I did not want to make that decision, I felt there was no choice. I felt trapped and I was angry. Until I found myself in the middle of the Yukon River. The country around me was vast. I knew if I pointed in any direction, I could probably count on one hand the number of people who might be out there. I knew it would take several hands and feet to count the Grizzlies. I watched the weather sweep over the hills, clouds unloading their burden of moisture into the valleys and moving on. I watched rainbows arch over me and felt a breeze smelling of sweet poplar engulf me. Though I realized the country was formidable, I had a deep sense of something being in control. I was a small dot in a tiny gray raft. Suddenly my huge decision seemed almost comically insignificant.

Sometimes it's hard to keep things in the right perspective. We get tangled up in our lives. We feel trapped and angry with God. That's when it's good to take a step out of our normal environment and realize who is in control. In the vastness of the universe, God is the One whose voice is like the refreshing rains and his breath like a breeze carrying sweet fragrances. It is God who puts the rainbows in the sky. Do you need some perspective? Read Job chapters 38 and 39. God asks a series of questions, like, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" (Job 38: 4) Reading those two chapters is like sitting in a tiny rubber raft in the middle of the Yukon River. Your perspective changes when you realize who is in control.

# The Rest of The Story

Isaiah 26:3

When I left the shore I heard a strange hissing noise and almost panicked. Was there a leak in the raft? I checked for bubbles but could see none. The raft seemed to be holding its shape. As the current took me quickly out into the deepest part of the river, I realized what I was hearing was the sound of silt hitting rubber. A few miles down river I heard another sound. It seemed to be getting louder with each minute. It sounded like a waterfall. My heart raced again, as I doubted my friends' information about the lack of white water on this stretch of the Yukon. When the sound was almost as deafening as a freight train, with no white water in site, I began to look for another explanation. As the raft was sucked into a small whirlpool at the base of a cliff, I found the answer. Erosion. The water had gouged a cave into the rock, forming an effective sound chamber for the swirling eddies. The sound echoed out over the water. A few strong strokes with the paddle took me past it.

The rest of the trip consisted of trying to find an over-night camping spot where there was no bear sign, then some hard paddling the next day to maneuver the raft to the other side of the river. Once I reached that side I searched for the small island at the mouth of a creek, where my friends lived. After an unplanned swim, which left my legs so numb I couldn't stand, I arrived at my destination, greatly relieved.

It was not until I did another river trip that I realized how stressful that first foray had been. The second trip was in a sturdy canoe, in the company of friends with strong arms. We had more food than we needed and protection against Grizzlies (just in case). That second trip was peaceful and full of laughter.

Going through life is sometimes like drifting down a river. We're looking for something but we're not sure exactly what or where it is. There is only one certainty – there will be dangers, real and imagined. We'll anticipate white water but find only noise; we'll see bear sign, maybe even be mauled a time or two; we will find ourselves swimming frantically and reach the shore just in time. Life is full of struggles and adventures. How we prepare for them determines how we will live. Fear and anxiety can plague us or peace and joy can be our mainstay. Jesus is the only source for the latter, as the Prophet Isaiah declares -"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You" (Isaiah 26:3). Life can be a joyful journey instead of a struggle to survive.

# The Gardening of Your Heart

James 1:14 -15

I'm not much of a gardener. Those who live near me can attest to the fact. I have one small flowerbed to care for. Last year I planted a variety of flowers in it, some short, some tall, some perennials, some annuals. This year I decided to plant just pansies. They looked bright and perky for a while, but then the sun came out, in earnest. The water ban didn't help. They're looking a little bedraggled now. But there are other things in my garden that are thriving. They're delicate-looking plants, tall and lacey with tiny white flowers on them. I didn't plant them and although I think they're kind of pretty, I have to admit, they are weeds. That leaves me with a problem.

I know I should pull them out, but I kind of like them. They take very little maintenance and they seem to thrive with very little water. I know if I leave them there, they'll multiply significantly. I know even if I pull them, they'll grow back. The problem is, my pansies will not flourish in their company. I know what has to be done, so one of these days I intend to get out there and pull them all out. One of these days.

Weeds in a garden are a lot like sins in a heart. They thrive with no maintenance. We don't have to do anything, yet they pop right up and keep growing. They can be attractive, in their own way, and they can seem innocent. But sins, like weeds, are deadly. They will choke what is good. James, the brother of Jesus tells us this in his epistle – "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished it brings forth death." (James 1:14 &15)

When we desire in our hearts what is not good, or dwell on bitterness and anger, allowing it to take root, sin will grow as surely as weeds in a garden. And as surely as weeds kill the good plants, sin will cause death. It may seem like an insignificant death at first, a slight hardening of the heart that can go almost unnoticed. But then it might manifest itself in an unhealthy thought or harsh word. Then a destructive act. Before the sin is even acknowledged, it has already caused damage.

Weeds need to be pulled up and thrown away. Sins need to be rooted out and cut off at the source. We need to be diligent in rooting them out, every time they crop up. Don't allow the process described in the book of James to flourish in your life. Don't wait for 'one of these days.' God will help you put a stop to it, now. Lean on Him and you can do it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some pretty weeds to pull.

# A Big One That Would Not Budge

Ephesians 4:31

My friend, I'll call her Marie, wanted to plant a garden in her back yard. The ground hadn't been worked in some time, but she acquired a good rototiller and set to work. Every now and then she had to stop and cut through an old root or dig out a big rock. As she worked, she noticed a large round stone right in the middle of the plot. When she finally reached it, she dug down and tried to pry it loose, but this was no stone. This was a boulder. There was a lot of rock under the ground. Marie guided her rototiller around it. She reached the other end of the plot and began working back. Again, she tried digging that rock out. Again, she went around it. On the third pass, Marie realized she had a choice. She could leave the rock there and continue to work around it, or she could get help to get it out. Marie knew what she wanted her garden to produce, and she knew that boulder was taking up too much room. If she left it there, she would have a lot less potatoes and carrots come fall. She made plans to get help.

Preparing the ground for growth is a necessary part of being a gardener. Before vegetables and flowers can grow, the undesirable elements must be removed. Just so, our lives. Before good things can develop in relationships and normal every-day functions, we must get rid of those things that block the way. Like Marie's garden plot, our lives often have deeply embedded boulders of pain. We can work around them, sometimes quite successfully, but those rocks take the place of good things that could be growing there. The rock of unforgiveness will not allow love to grow. The rock of bitterness will not allow contentment to grow. The rock of cynicism will not allow joy to grow. The rock of deceit will not allow truth to grow.

In Ephesians 4: 31, Paul advises – "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Those words are plain, but they are not easy to do. It is as impossible to simply rid ourselves of such things, as it was for Marie to dig that boulder from the ground with a small spade. We need help.

Fortunately, there is Someone standing by, ready to give us everything we need to do the job, as Paul assures us in Ephesians 1: 3 - "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." Everything we need to rid ourselves of the boulders in our lives is available through Christ. Wonderful things are meant to grow in their place.

# Is Your Hand on the Doorknob?

Romans 14:8

"Are you good to go?" My daughter stood at the door, pulling her jacket on as she reached for the doorknob. She was impatient to be on her way.

I'd just been at a funeral. A good friend was facing major surgery, and I'd just received an email asking for prayer for a man with an inoperable brain tumor. So my daughter's expression struck me differently than it might have, under other circumstances. It's the lot of a minister's wife to be often faced with thoughts of death. When your life's work deals with God, it deals with what comes after. When death looms, people seek spiritual counsel and encouragement. When they are staring into eternity, they start wondering about God and what really happens when the heart stops beating.

Death can seem to be a morbid subject. For many, it's a subject they studiously avoid. People hate change and death is the ultimate change. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, death's reality forces a change that cannot be controlled, cannot be scheduled, cannot be evaded. Best not to think about it. Avoid hospitals. Ignore the statistics about cancer and heart disease. Avoid churches. Avoid God. Put the blinders on and just keep going. Until someone asks a question, like, "are you good to go?" Or how about this one – "If you die today, where will you spend eternity?"

Jesus has freed us from the fear of death. The apostle Paul recognized this when he stated, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." He lived his life knowing God was dwelling in him. Therefore, he had no fear of death. He knew that whatever death might bring, whatever it looked like, it would be a reunion with Christ. We, too, can know where we are going. We can be "good to go" at any given moment. It takes just a simple step, a simple sentence, whispered from the heart, an invitation for God to be part of your life now, and forever. Then we can say, with the writer of Romans 14:8 – "If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." All of us are standing at the doorway to eternity. You may not realize you have your jacket on and your hand on the doorknob. Are you "good to go?"

# Hard Questions

Hebrews 10:13; Micah 6:8

It seemed fitting that the sky hung heavy and low. It seemed right that the wind was bitter, howling with the fierce shriek of winter around a tiny country cemetery. There was a very small hole in the ground and a very tiny casket to be put into it. It seemed appropriate that we all stood numbed by the cold of that day.

A friend of mine once wrote a poem about Adam, Eve and God in the Garden of Eden. It was a good poem, well constructed with a strong rhythm and powerful images. One of those images often comes to mind when bad things happen to good people. It's an image of God curled into a fetal position, and the wailing sound of His weeping.

Sometimes we ask hard questions. Why did that baby have to die, God? Why is my friend suffering with a painful cancer? Why are those people in Africa starving? We don't usually get a good answer to those questions. They leave us numb and they leave us wondering if God is there.

But then there is that image and that sound. In my friend's poem God mourned the first disobedience, the first break in His relationship with the creatures He put on the earth.

The picture my friend painted with his words was of a God who cares, a God who feels our pain, a God who mourns with us, especially at the graves of tiny babies.

He is also a God who will answer. He is a God who acted to redeem all that was broken in our world. He is a God who continues to do so. The redemption was accomplished on the cross of Calvary, but it is not yet complete. As the writer of the book of Hebrews said, God "... waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy" (Hebrews 10:13).

The process is sometimes painful, but the world will one day be made entirely new, entirely redeemed. The scriptures talk about creation groaning as we wait for that day. The groans do not fall on deaf ears, nor will they remain unanswered forever. One day that tiny baby will rise, whole and perfect as God intended him to be.

God's plan is unfolding. What then, should we do in those times when we groan and feel there is no answer? Again, scripture tells us – "To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8).

Humility before God bows the knee and continues to believe. Humility before God acknowledges His sovereignty and calls Him good. Even when babies die and the pain of this world overwhelms, humility before God says, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

# You Don't Have to Earn It

Psalm 46:10

When my husband and I joined Wycliffe Bible Translators in Papua New Guinea, we looked forward to a year of hard work, serving God in that far away place. For the first while, that's what we did, but not long after arriving, I got out of bed one morning and stumbled. The room felt like a large platform balanced on a rubber ball. Every time I took a step I had to reach for the wall to regain my balance. By the end of that day I wasn't able to walk at all. I could move my eyes, but if I moved my whole head the vertigo was so extreme I would vomit. The mission's doctor prescribed medication and when the symptoms faded in a couple of days, he reduced the dosage and I was able to function almost normally. Later, blood tests revealed no serious illness. I was relieved to return to work and get back to a normal routine. But a few days later I again noticed a slight vertigo. By the next day I was unable to function. The 'spell,' as I called it, lasted for three days. The doctor gave a possible diagnosis: "This could be just a virus, and if it is, it will go away," he said, "but if the symptoms persist, you may have a disease which will last for the rest of your life."

When the third bout came I was crushed. I wondered why on earth God would send me half way across the world only to paralyze me. I was sure He had put me on the mission field to be productive. I wanted to be productive. I had to be productive! But all I could do was weep tears of frustration on those days when even making my way to a chair in our living room was a major effort. After two months of praying, with no change, I realized I would have to face the fact this might be the pattern of my life: three or four days of being absolutely still, three or four days of being able to participate in all the regular routines of life in Papua New Guinea. Feelings of guilt piled up. Everyone else around me was working hard, many of them doing double duty because of lack of staff, and here I was sitting in a chair staring out the window! I felt like a failure and began to think I should pack my bags and go home. Someone was shouting in my ear – "They'd be better off without you. You're useless, a burden." I believed it and sank into depression.

The third month of 'spells' was almost over when, as the vertigo began to wane in its three-day cycle, I went out to sit on the deck at the side of the house. It was a typical PNG morning, bright and sunny, the humid air full of floral perfumes common in tropical countries. The house was surrounded by flowers - Hibiscus with huge, vibrant blossoms, Bougainvillea, showering the roof of the deck with chartreuse, and the ever present hedges of scarlet Poinsettias. The woman who owned the house where we lived had planted several rose bushes as well. Using a rake for balance, I walked the edge of the garden, admiring the colours and fragrances. A rose bush caught my eye. A new bud had just blossomed. The bloom was perfectly formed, with dewdrops glistening on the petals - picture perfect. At that moment the world faded away. My focus was captured by the exquisite pattern of God's design. I found myself weeping, not in frustration, as I had so often in the past weeks, but with awe and wonder and praise.

As I gazed at the flower, the Whisperer spoke – "Let me love you for who you are, not what you do." The profound depth of God's love took me completely by surprise as joy welled up at the thought - this rose is complete and beautiful just because it is, not because it does. All the guilt, anger and frustration were gone. I was free to simply be. Our culture doesn't often allow us that luxury. We are pressured to perform, to produce, to accomplish. We rarely take the time to be still, to be, to know God's love is truly unconditional. Why not take a few moments to do that today. Be still and know that He is God.

# Watching for Daddy in the Fog

Luke 12:35 – 40; Micah 7:7

The little girl's nose was pressed into the windowpane, her chin cupped in a small hand, her breath making a small circle of moisture on the glass. She peered into dense fog beyond the window, fascinated and a little frightened. She had never seen fog like this before, so thick it blotted out everything normally seen from the window, even the bright street lamp on the corner. She knew fog like this was dangerous and she knew her daddy was out there somewhere, on his way home. Every now and then the little girl turned to look at the kitchen clock. Every minute that passed, without any sign of her dad, made her a little more anxious, but she kept up her vigil. She stayed at the window for a long time and at last was rewarded. Out of the grey mist, her father materialized, smiling, happy to lift his child into his arms when she ran to him with a shout of relief - "Daddy, you're home!"

There will be a day when we will be taken into the arms of Jesus in the same way. He promised as He left this earth, that he would return one day. He will appear, as my father appeared out of the fog long ago, and He will expect to be welcomed.

Waiting for Christ to return is a lot like that little girl waiting for her dad to come home through the fog. We can't see beyond our present state. As much as we may peer into the future, it is hidden from us. We cannot see what is unfolding in the spiritual realms. Often we glance at the clock and sigh. Will it ever happen? Will the One who loves and cares for us as no other can ever arrive? We don't know when we will see Jesus materialize before us, yet we believe, by faith, He is out there and He is on His way home.

The Apostle, Luke describes this point in time – "Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him" (Luke 12:35-40). Notice the first two phrases in this passage – "Be dressed, ready for service." - We are to be occupied while we wait for Him, serving one another as we long for his appearing. "Keep your lamps burning" – don't give up. Though the fog of this world is dense and allows no glimpse of the spiritual realm, keep watching with expectation. Say with the prophet Micah, "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Saviour" (Micah 7:7). There will be a day when we will joyfully cry out, "Jesus, you're home!"

# A Dance Lesson in The Kitchen

1John 4:18

"What's Grandma like, Mom?"

My daughter's question caught at my heart. I hadn't seen my mother since before she suffered a stroke and I was fearful. Had the effects of the debilitation changed her more than just physically? I swallowed my apprehensions and answered the question.

"You'll love her, girls. She loves you both very much."

I could see my response wasn't quite satisfactory. My daughters needed something more. I watched nine-year-old Katie do a pirouette. Her sister Laura, seven, did an attempt at a tap step. A friend had given us an old pair of shiny black tap shoes and both girls had laid claim to them. I smiled. "Grandma was a dancer, you know."

Two little faces lit up. "She was? Did she tap dance?"

"Oh yes. She won prizes for dancing when she was young. I think I have some pictures downstairs. Let's see what we can find."

For my daughters, the old photos were an introduction to extended family. They pointed, and giggled. Katie peered at a photo of three young girls, about 11 or 12 years old. My mother, the girl in the middle, wore a pokadot blouse, short skirt and tap shoes adorned with big bows. Her short hair was gelled into kiss-curls on her forehead and cheeks.

I didn't disturb Katie as she studied the picture. When she looked up, her eyes were hopeful. "Do you think she could teach us to dance?"

A memory flooded back - a slight, trim woman, holding the edges of her apron, her eyes twinkling as she did the "soft shoe" on black and white kitchen tile. "I'm sure Grandma will ..." I started to say. The realization hit again. After two years of fighting, Mom now walked with a cane and a heavy brace on one leg.

"Well," I faltered. "Grandma's legs don't work like they used to, but we'll see..."

When Mom arrived, Katie blurted the question that had stayed on her heart. "Grandma, will you show us how to tap dance? We have these shoes..."

My Mom beamed. "Oh, what wonderful taps, Kate!" She struggled out of her chair. With all of us holding our breath, my mother planted her cane firmly and gave my daughters their first tap lesson. "Step, touch, click, step touch click. Oh, this brace is so clumsy! But it's easy, girls. Come stand beside me and try it."

As I watched them, the taps clicking on the hard linoleum, giggles coming from all three, a scripture came to mind - "Perfect love drives out fear" (1John 4:18). I realized I was seeing that truth, alive and well, before me. In spite of pain, humiliation and fear, my mother drew on love and triumphed. In that moment I knew, though the fortress that is my mother might slowly crumble, her indomitable spirit would never die. My fear turned to joy and thankfulness for this moment, a moment that was so much more than just a dance lesson in the kitchen.

# Something's Gotta Give

Psalm 51:17

The road seemed long. The sun beat down on them, but the two men barely noticed. They walked with their heads together, deep in discussion. So much had happened that weekend, so much that they didn't understand. Their leader had been arrested. They counted themselves lucky to have gotten out of the city unnoticed. Everyone had scattered. Most of their friends were in hiding. They feared what might happen now.

Their conversation was interrupted when a stranger joined them. He seemed to have come from nowhere and his first question made them drop their heads in despair. "What are you talking about?" he asked. Surprised that he didn't know what had happened in the city, they described Jesus, his ministry and his death. They said some of the women who had been close to him had seen angels and believed Jesus was still alive. But others went in search of him and didn't find him. Their voices trailed off as their dilemma sank in. Who were they to believe?

Then the man chided them, calling them foolish and slow to understand. Then he talked about all the scriptures they knew so well, scriptures they had memorized as children. He showed them how all of those words spoke of one man, the very Jesus they said had been crucified. Somehow it all made perfect sense.

The conversation was so engaging they asked the stranger to stay with them for the night. Then, when they sat down to dinner, this stranger did a very normal thing that suddenly took on profound significance. "... He took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him..." The stranger was the very Jesus they had been discussing, the very Jesus they thought they had known.

It was in the breaking of the bread that Jesus revealed himself, just as it was in the breaking of his life that he accomplished his most significant act, the salvation of all. As those two men watched the bread being torn into pieces, they realized the one with them was the one who had been torn for them. At that moment their doubt and confusion were broken too, and all that Jesus had said became clear.

There is much in the bible that talks about being broken. All of God's servants knew the meaning of the word. David, for instance, said, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17) It seems, in fact, the only way to recognize the Christ.

To use a colloquial phrase, "something's gotta give." Something in us has to break before we can give our hearts to God. Jesus tells us to break the bread of communion and remember him. What memory can we have, if we are not willing to be broken with him?

What celebration of life, if there is no death?

# Thin Spots

Matthew 18:20

The day shone glorious, full of sunshine and light, full of fellowship and a strong sense of belonging. It was all the more significant to me because I was not in my home church. I was in a beautiful little church in a tiny village in Nova Scotia Canada. And I felt right at home.

We sang a few songs, led by the pastor and a worship band, then one of the leaders stood to talk about all the upcoming events at the church. He did so with a flourish that made us laugh often. Then he grew a bit more serious and said he knew of an old Scottish legend about "thin spots." They are described as places where we sense we are close to heaven. He sincerely hoped we would all feel that we'd been in a "thin spot" by the end of the service.

I realized at that moment that we were already in that place, whether or not we were all feeling it. No doubt there were people there who were not – people who were feeling dry spiritually, people who were angry with one another, people who were angry with God. No doubt there were people there whose pain blocked any sense of heaven whatsoever.

But that does not change the reality. Jesus promised – "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20). When God's people gather to praise Him, we not only draw close to heaven, God comes to us - He is in our midst! What an amazing thought.

Even more amazing is the reality that He is always with us – not just when we're in a church building, not just when we're singing songs of praise. He is with us when we're dry and angry and so overcome by pain that we can't see or hear or feel anything else. He is right there beside us, waiting for us to turn to Him, waiting for us to acknowledge Him, waiting for us to cry out to Him. And He will never walk away. We are His people. He is our God.

Everywhere is a "thin spot." Glory be to God.

# A Grand Spectacle of Promises

2Corinthians 1:20

At a certain time of day, early in the evening, I make sure the curtains on the windows in our living room are open. I don't want to miss the spectacle. Yes, right here in my home town, there's a grand spectacle every evening. It's a spectacle of promise.

We are fortunate enough to live on a street that is one-sided. There are houses on the east side, but not on the west. That side is still an undeveloped bush, full of birds, squirrels and deer. It's there that the spectacle of promise happens. As the sun begins to drop, the light slants, hitting thousands of small catkins hanging from the trees. When the sun hits them, they glow, making the entire bush light up. It's the promise of spring; the promise of new growth; the promise of the colour green.

As I have watched the glow become more and more intense day by day, I have been reminded of all the promises God has given us. They, too, are promises of new growth, rebirth and second chances. They are filled with words of love and protection, encouragement and comfort. They confirm the power of all believers to accomplish God's purposes. They speak about God's faithfulness, mercy and forgiveness and His desire for a continuing relationship with us. They outline the path to peace and everlasting life.

None of God's promises are hidden. He has made a spectacle of them, displaying them for all to see. They glow like the catkins on the trees across from my house. They are promises that will never be broken.

The Apostle Paul knew this when he addressed the people of Corinth – "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God." 2Corinthians 1:20

There is no duplicity in God. Just as we know those catkins will develop and bloom into bright green leaves, we can know that God is saying "yes," to us. "Yes, I am here. Yes, I love you more than you can comprehend. Yes, I want you to get to know me. And yes, soon, very soon, we will be together."

One promise that sums up all the others can be found in Romans 8:28 – "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." All the promises, all the trials, all the events of our lives, are meant to culminate in what is good. For the believer, there is no doubt it will happen.

As spring creeps to its fulfillment, as we watch the earth bursting into new life around us. we can be confident that the same kind of life is growing in us. The same kind of renewal is possible. God is saying "Yes!" May we all shout "Amen!"

# Soemthing's Not Quite Rgiht

Genesis 1:27

Some time ago someone sent me one of those much-forwarded e-mails. I don't like receiving them and am quick to hit the delete button. But this one had an intriguing title, so I read on.

Every word in the message was spelled incorrectly. After reading the paragraph, which I understood without a problem, the message pointed out that in every word only the first and last letters were in the correct place, but because our minds have been trained, we automatically supply the corrcet meaning – as you probably just did with the word, 'correct.' We recognize that the words are not as they should be, we know there is something wrong, but we compensate and make it work.

We do that every day. We know that things are out of balance, off kilter, damaged and twisted. We also know that is not the natural state of things. We all seem to have the instinctive knowledge of what the word utopia means. Have you ever wondered how that is possible? For as long as I've been alive, utopia has been a myth. Neither did it exist in my father's lifetime, nor in his father's before him. So how do we know what it should look like?

The answer lies in the first book of the bible, the book of Genesis. The first few verses of chapter one outline God's pattern of creation. Then there is a small verse at the end – "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good..." All that he had made, which was very good, God gave to Adam and Eve, the only humans who really knew what the word utopia means. They didn't just know it, they were it, for God "created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (v.27)

Unfortunately, everything went downhill from there. The sin of the first couple banished them from their ideal life and introduced new words into their vocabulary – words like pain, sorrow, fear and death. These were the words that began to damage the world and so it has continued to this day.

There is only one thing left from those days of utopia that has never changed. It was something Adam and Eve did not lose, though they were cut off from perfect communication with God. As their descendants, it is something we continue to have. That one thing is His image. We still bear it, we still long to know it in its fullness. We were created for something more, much more, and we know it.

We are children of God and He has designed a way for us to reopen the channel of communication with Him that was lost when Adam and Eve sinned. That way is Jesus Christ. Through him we will be restored to the true identity God intended.

Right now we're reading the story with mixed up words. Our hope, through Christ, is that some day they will all be set right.

# Nesting Near

Psalm 84

Some time ago, my middle daughter, Laura, called to ask my advice. She is at an "in- between" place right now. She's been working in the city but feeling restless, feeling that God has something more for her. So she has begun the process to join a mission group for the next year. Hence, her quandary. Should she stay in the city where rents are high and she has to drive some distance to work, or come home for the next few months so she can work here and save some money as the process unfolds?

As a mom I wanted to jump right in and tell her to come home. But I restrained myself. I advised her to keep praying and wait for God to give her peace about the decision. The next morning I read Psalm 84. I e-mailed Laura and typed out verses 3 and 4 because they had struck a cord.

"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young – a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you."

As I read those words I pictured those tiny birds flying high over the temple in Jerusalem. I thought about all that they would have seen and heard – the priests and believers coming and going to offer sacrifices, the songs sung in praise and worship, and above all, the presence of God in that place. I thought how true it is, even today, that we must nest close to the Lord and his people.

So many times God has told us this – stay close, let me gather you under my wing, hide yourself in me, abide in me. I think he said it so often because He knows how prone we are to not do it. We pull away so quickly; we find reasons to stay away, to our detriment.

It's interesting that the very next verse talks not about resting in one place, but about those "who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." The principle is clear: You don't have to stay in one place to stay close to the Lord. Whether my daughter stays in the city or comes home, whether she goes to Africa or Asia, as long as she stays close to the Lord, depending on Him for strength and guidance, praising and thanking Him, she will be in the right place. It was because those little birds were nesting in the courts of the Lord that they could bear their young in safety and fly high and far without fear.

"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" (Psalm 84:12).

# Little Songs

Romans 8:22, 23

A friend e-mailed the other day and sent this quote -"Walking with care, snow barely covering the patches of ice, I begin to recall a canticle and my body keeps time: Cold and chill, bless the Lord; Frost and chill, bless the Lord; Ice and snow, bless the Lord." (from Dakota, A Spiritual Geography by Kathleen Norris)

In response, because of some things happening in our world lately, I sent this: "Weak and strong, bless the Lord." Then my friend challenged others on the list to send a canticle and they joined in:

"As my husband cuts a hole in our ceiling to find the origin of a leak, while I sit staring at the computer screen trying to find the beginning words ... Those who tear down, and those who build up, bless the Lord."

"As my husband looks for work and I clean uncharted corners of the house...Those who seek, and those who find, bless the Lord."

Then someone sent the definition of the word canticle. It comes from the Latin canticulum, little song (cantus, song + -iculum, a diminutive suffix).

A little song of praise. I began thinking how it would affect the perspective of my day, if it began with a canticle and even continued with canticles all day long. Imagine what the day would be like if we were deliberately looking for reasons to acknowledge and bless God. It is a state that can bring us out of the deepest depression and give us joy. It is a state that lifts us from drudgery into satisfying contentment, from malaise into excitement. In short, these little songs of praise can make us come alive.

This can be applied to any aspect of daily life. Is your work situation stressful? Those who lead and those who follow, bless the Lord. Are your toddlers driving you crazy? Children and infants, mothers and fathers, bless the Lord. Are your chores on the farm feeling like drudgery? Animals and their care-givers bless the Lord.

In Romans 8:22 & 23, the apostle Paul wrote: "We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

We are still waiting for the completion of that process but, because of what Jesus did on the cross, we have been adopted, we are children of God. Our bodies will be redeemed, made like Jesus himself. All our days should sing with praise.

All men and women, bless the Lord!

# Line Drawing

2 Corinthians 4:6

Our art instructor pushed a desk to the middle of the room and sat on it. "I'm your model today," he said, and explained a technique called line drawing. The idea was to look only at the figure being drawn, never at the paper. Without lifting the pencil, we were to draw the subject with a single continuous line. My first attempt was pitiful, but the instructor encouraged us to keep trying. Sheets of paper fell to the floor all over the studio as the students attempted to copy what was before them.

As I worked, I began to realize how staring at an object for that long, with that much concentration, helps you see things you would not have otherwise noticed. Trying to make that continuous line look like the man on the desk was a challenge, but the more I tried, the more I realized it wasn't impossible.

Later that evening, while watching T.V. with my father, he fell asleep in his chair. I quietly pulled out paper and pencil and did a line drawing of him. It was, in a way, a moment of enlightenment. The more I tried to copy him, the more I saw things I had never noticed before – how long his fingers were, how crooked the leg broken when he was a teenager. As I concentrated on him, I began to see the real man, not just a superficial impression of him. I began to realize too, the benefit of not looking at what my hand was drawing. The point was not to achieve perfection, but to capture the essence of the subject.

Concentrating on Jesus will have the same result. When we focus entirely on Him, as He really is, rather than on what we are doing, we will find the real Christ, the very essence of God. In 2 Corinthians 4:6, the apostle Paul says – "For God ... made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." As we study him, and copy him, we will discover more and more of Him. Like the first efforts of my fellow art students, our attempts will be flawed, but if we keep at it we will reach that point of enlightenment. We will begin to see what had remained veiled, to understand what had been hidden. And we will become that copy, flawed, yet somehow revealing the essence of the One who created us.

God does not expect perfection. He knows we cannot achieve it on our own. But He has given us a way to copy Him that will give us what we need, day by day, moment by moment. All we have to do is pick up a Bible and open it to any page. His image is there, waiting to be studied, waiting to be understood. All we have to do is focus on Jesus.

# Colour and Aroma

Psalm 34:8

I leaned over my friend's shoulder as he crouched on the riverbank. Clear water swirled over the dirt and gravel and spilled over the edge of the large black pan in his hands. Slowly the larger stones washed away, leaving only fine black sand. He moved the pan gently, then stopped.

"There," he said, holding it up for me to look. "See it?"

I peered at the spot where he pointed. Tiny slivers glinted in the sun. "That's it?"

My friend nodded. "Enough colour to keep us going."

Those tiny flecks of gold found on the creek that day resulted in a major excavation of that area. A crew of men and machinery descended and the hunt for more gold was on. Similar scenes have been played out in the gold fields of the Yukon for over a hundred years. A small sliver gleaming in a pan was all it took for men to move mountains, dam rivers and create feats of engineering to equal the Panama Canal. All it took was a tiny bit of "colour."

In his book, The Only Necessary Thing, Henri Nouwen writes: "The spiritual life is a long and often arduous search for what you have already found...The desire for God's unconditional love is the fruit of having been touched by that love." (p.29)

When you find a sliver of love, you seek more of it. When you find a sliver of truth you tune your ear to listen for more. When you find a sliver of God, your whole being longs for more of Him.

God has put his colour all around us – signs that He is here. Glints come from the words and actions of His people, the amazing variety and design of His creation and from His love letter to us, The Bible. There is only one catch. It takes a little effort. The miners in the Yukon had to find that first sliver of gold by testing the ground. They had to dig deep and wide to mine the precious commodity they sought.

In Psalm 34:8 David says – "Taste and see that the Lord is good..." He did, and found more love and forgiveness than he had a right to. You will too. Go ahead. You've seen the colour. Now start digging. Become a miner for God's love and forgiveness. What you will find is far more precious than gold. It will be the beginning of an adventure far more exciting than any gold rush known by man.

# A Bad Day and the Day After

John 20:30,31

My dog died yesterday. We got a call from the vet that she'd been hit by a car. She was still alive when we got there and we had to decide whether or not to try and keep her that way. She was an old dog – somewhere around eighteen, we think, and she was in pain, so we did what was merciful.

Then I got home to find an email from an editor saying he was rejecting a manuscript I'd sent him. The words took a while to sink in.

I was expecting my dog to die soon. She was very old. I was pretty sure that manuscript would be rejected by that editor. It isn't ready to be published. But it was still a bad day. A day when things die always is.

But now that the day is over and I look back on it, I see there were some good things in that space of twenty-four hours. I was able to put my hand over my dog's beating heart one more time and cry a little before having to go on with a day full of things that needed to be done. I was able to be thankful for the fifteen years that little ball of fur and bone was underfoot. I was able to be thankful for friends that make you feel better just by sitting across a table sipping tea; for days full of mundane things that are so beautiful in their rhythm that you hardly notice. And for that word, 'hardly,' because I did notice, just a bit; for the hope that gives me. And for editors whose rejections leave you still believing in the dreams you have for words strung across a page.

There are always things to be thankful for, even on a day when death becomes a reality. There is always hope for a new day, hope that the darkness won't always seem impenetrable.

There is always hope because our Redeemer lives. It was a dark day when He died -literally, according to the scriptures - but Jesus didn't stay wrapped in death. He rose and walked among his friends again, spoke to them, encouraged them, ate with them. He not only gave them hope for a new day, he gave them life forever after, life lived in the presence of God.

The Apostle John wrote that "Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of God and that by believing you may have life in his name" (John 20:30,31).

We no longer live within the day on which death seemed victorious. We live in the day that came three days after. We call it Easter.

And Jesus said – "blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (John 20:29b).

# A Sermon Just for Me

Proverbs 29:23

Last Sunday, as I settled in my chair at church I prayed a quick prayer. "Talk to me, Lord."

My husband tends to be a spontaneous person and I've gotten used to him doing unexpected things. Sometimes. But last Sunday he surprised me by announcing that I was going to give my testimony that morning, in 3 minutes or less. He hadn't warned me about this, probably because he didn't know he was going to do it until that very moment. As I walked up to the front I was thinking, 'Good thing I'm good at public speaking. The testimony part is a breeze, but in 3 minutes? No doubt he gave me a time limit because he knows my tendency to go on and on.' He did have a sermon to preach that morning. So I did what he asked and all went well. As I expected it would.

Then my husband got up to preach. The sermon was on Mark 12:41-44 – a short passage of scripture that seemed straightforward as he read it out loud. The widow gave all she had. She was extremely generous. She put the religious leaders to shame. But my husband, bless him, took a different tack when he said, this little bit of scripture is really about pride and humility. Huh?

I felt God tapping me on the shoulder. I was feeling quite self-satisfied, having just given my testimony clearly, with just the right emphasis. In fact I was thinking, 'I really am good at that.' The more my favourite preacher spoke the more I felt like crawling under my chair. I knew that what had just happened was no coincidence.

God was talking to me but I wasn't particularly happy to hear it.

Then my favourite preacher started talking about generosity. Okay, that's better. I sat up a bit. Then he said, "the core of generosity is humility." Oh. And he gave Haddon Robinson's definition – "humility is confidence properly placed." Oh dear.

When Proverbs 29:23 appeared in big bold letters on the screen I had to grin just a little. "Pride brings you low." Right. I really should remember that.

I was encouraged, when my husband acknowledged that he, and everyone else in the room, all struggle with pride. It's a big part of the human condition. The trick is to catch ourselves at it, repent of it, and put ourselves back in the place where we all need to be, at the feet of Jesus. Confidence properly placed. Right.

I definitely have to remember that.

# A Small Patch of Blue

1Corinthians15:49

The day had been grey and dreary from beginning to end, a fine drizzle falling, creating a thickening mist that shifted and swallowed all in its path. We were to drive to the high point on The Dome behind Dawson City, Yukon, the next morning and I prayed the morning sun would banish the fog and let us see the stunning view of the Klondike Valley. I hadn't seen it for many years and I longed for the exhilaration it had always given me.

But the next morning was not sunny. The fog lingered.

"Let's go up anyway," my husband said, "at least as far as the cemetery." I knew what he intended. The cemetery held the graves of two good friends, men in their twenties who had taken their own lives in a suicide pact many years before. Their deaths had been the catalyst to the journey that led us to faith in Jesus.

We parked the car at the gate and wandered among the graves. It didn't take long to find what we were looking for – one grave marked by the idler wheel of a D6 Cat, the other by the front frame of a piece of heavy machinery. I watched quietly as my husband pushed scrub brush away so we could see their names welded on the unusual headstones. Memories of that time brought a quietness to the place.

Neither of us wanted to head back to town so we continued up the dirt road as it wound its way to the top. The peak of the Dome was above the clouds so we looked down on the grey shifting mist, watching as it began to dissipate. A small patch of blue appeared. Part of the Yukon River. I was puzzled at first when I saw it emerge. At this point in the river's course, the Yukon is not blue. It's a milky grey, filled with the silt from a river upstream. Then I looked up and realized the river was reflecting the blue sky above it, slowly being revealed as the clouds moved away.

I thought of all the people who had come into our lives at that time of death and tragedy, people who prayed with us and guided us toward the truth about life, death and eternity. And I smiled. They themselves were just ordinary people, living ordinary lives in an isolated place, but they were reflecting something from beyond themselves. Something that glowed with the colour of vibrancy and life – the face of God.

I pray that will be the case with my life, with everything I do, everything I write. Though it may have little that is called extraordinary in its pages, though it may exist in a world filled with shifting fog, may it be a reflection of truth, flowing with the colour of true life, able to translate into healing, able to reflect the love of a holy God. May it draw my friends and readers along, as that small patch of blue river below us did, to a place where they will meet Him and know Him, just a little bit more than they did before. "And as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Man" (1Cor.15:49).

# A Tear that Should Not be Repaired

Ephesians 2:8, 9

I love the scriptures that describe the death of Jesus. I know, that might seem a bit strange, but His death was, after all, the most incredible victory ever seen on this earth. By that sacrifice Jesus conquered death forever and opened the way for us to Eternal life with our Heavenly Father. It thrills me to read the details – how the earth shook and darkness fell in the middle of the day, how the curtain in the temple was torn in two.

That last detail has always fascinated me. The curtain – the veil, as it is sometimes called, was not just a flimsy bit of lace. It was believed to be ninety feet in height, "a Babylonian curtain, embroidered with blue, and fine linen, and scarlet, and purple, and of a texture that was truly wonderful" (Josephus). The tapestry would have been heavy and thick – not something easily torn.

No doubt, to some, the tearing of the temple veil underscored what Jesus had done by sacrificing himself on the cross. Eventually his followers, the disciples who heard his prophesies, did understand. But many did not. I have always wondered what they did with the tapestry after that day – did they repair it? I think they probably did – or perhaps they replaced it with another. We humans are always trying to undo the work of God.

We set up rules and regulations and insist that unless they are followed, salvation cannot be attained. Do you smoke or dance, or play cards? Do you have a glass of wine or a beer now and then? Too bad, you're just not good enough for God. You'll never make it to heaven. The necessity for self-attained holiness is a common theme in many churches. Thus the work of Christ's death on the cross is undone. The verses of the scripture are forgotten – essential verses like Mark 10:18 -"No one is good but God alone", and Romans 3:23 - "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," and 2 Corinthians 5:21 – "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." And 1John 2:1 – "But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defence – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins..." And my personal favourite – Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

God is determined and he is forever faithful. His sacrifice is complete and cannot be undone. His truth will shine through, even though we try hard to manipulate it to our own purposes. No one has to be perfect to be saved. The curtain has been torn and when we accept the sacrifice Jesus offers, we are all free to step into His presence because Salvation comes from Christ alone – "For it is through grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8, 9).

# Assurance

2 Timothy 1:11-12

There have been times when I have feared that I'll die before accomplishing the things I dream about, before writing what I really want to write – that great novel, the perfect devotional, that poem that sings and that article that changes a life. After all, death is the final interruption. It always comes at an unexpected time and often in the middle of something.

I hope my death doesn't come for a very long time, but I know it could be sooner than I want. It could be today. That's why I love what Timothy says in his second epistle. "And of this gospel I was appointed a herald ... I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day" (2 Timothy 1:11-12).

When I read that verse recently it reminded me again who I work for. He's the kind of boss everyone wants. He's organized and efficient, He knows all my weaknesses and strengths and exactly what direction I need to go to develop my skills. He constantly encourages me and provides ample opportunity for me to learn those skills and learn more about him in the process. He knows the beginning and the end of my life and my career. He has it all mapped out so that it will give me everything I need, bless others and bring him glory.

I have committed my life and my work to Jesus Christ. I can rest in the assurance that I won't die until He has accomplished all that he intended through me. I don't have to fear an "untimely death." Neither do I have to fear that death is the end of it all. To the contrary, scripture tells us it is just the beginning. We will have all of eternity to accomplish what God intends – singing his praises, glorifying him forever by using all the gifts and skills he has taught us along the way.

After all, death is only an interruption. The novel might be half finished, the poem only begun, but the words will continue to flow in that new reality. I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able.

# Because He First Loved

1 John 4:16-19

There was once a young woman who looked for love. She didn't know that's what she was doing, but she did it with ferocious need. She left her home in search of it, attached herself to many people thinking they would give it to her. She moved from place to place, thinking some day she would find it; she took on various jobs and followed a few careers. She delved into all kinds of creative endeavours. But she was never satisfied. Love was elusive. She began to believe it didn't really exist.

Then someone challenged her to look in the one place she had avoided. She was convinced she would not find it there, believed she had already looked but been barred from it. Deep in her soul she knew that place was where love lived, but she believed she was not worthy of finding it, so she avoided going to that source.

But eventually she came to the end of her desperate running. Every other source had proven empty and false. There was nowhere else to go, so she turned her face to that source and gave in. "Okay," she said, "show me that it's real. Prove to me that love exists for me."

Then she admitted she had done a lot of things wrong in her lifetime of searching and she asked forgiveness. She didn't know that was the key that unlocked the barrier.

Nothing happened right away. The clouds didn't part, lightening didn't flash, but some time later a miracle occurred. She birthed a child. What grew in her as she cared for that child was a love she could never have dreamed of. It swelled inside her and overflowed. She recognized the miracle and was thankful. She recognized that someone did indeed love her. He loved her enough to intervene in her life and cause a miracle. She was loved and nothing else mattered. She had found the true Source.

She had learned what the word love truly means. It doesn't mean receiving at all. It means giving.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. ... We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:16-19).

# Best Before

Luke 19:13

A small group sat chatting in our living room. We'd been reading part of the Bible that tells us Jesus is one day going to return to this earth. The question was asked – how would your life change if you believed He was returning today?

I pondered that for some time. It reminded me of the time, in a seminar on palliative care, when the instructor asked us to list ten things we wanted to accomplish in our lives. Then she said, "Now you have only 6 months to live. Revise your list if you want to." Then it was 3 weeks to live, then 2 days. I was amazed at what happened to my list. Suddenly it was all about people – the people I loved, the people I knew I had hurt, the people I had to talk to before it was too late.

I realized at that seminar that it's best to keep short accounts. It's best to talk to your loved ones now, before something happens. Because something is going to happen. Some day the breath in your body will slip out with a sigh or a groan and you'll be standing before your creator. Some day your creator may be standing before you, right here on this earth. His return is not a myth and it could be a lot sooner than we think. It could be today.

I ponder this every time I see one of those labels on a loaf of bread – Best before .... Life, like bread, does have an expiry date.

It's good to ponder these things, good to think about the people we need to talk to, and good to think about what's really important in our lives. But we need to do more than just think. We need to act.

I'm talking to myself here. There are people I need to call, people I need to email, people I need to just smile at today. Tomorrow may be too late. It's always Best Before. But I'm a procrastinator, especially when talking to some of those people might be a bit difficult, a bit unpleasant.

So I'm praying for courage, the courage to make that phone call, to say those words, and yes, even just to smile at a stranger. God is in the business of encouraging us, giving us the strength we need when we need it so we are able to break the inertia and move. He has a way of nudging us to do what we know needs doing.

Jesus has told us, "occupy until I come" (Luke 19:13). He has prepared good deeds for us to do, before it's too late. Like that label on that loaf of bread, He's whispering, "remember, it's Best Before.

# Called by Name

Isaiah 43:1

A little boy named Billy, age 4 is purported to have said, "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

I think little Billy has great insight.

There is a wonderful story in the Bible, in the book of John, chapter 20, in which Mary Magdalene goes to the tomb where Jesus was buried. Finding it empty, she is overcome with sorrow and begins to weep. Then a man appears and asks why she is crying. Thinking he is the gardener, she asks where he has taken Jesus' body. Then a moment of transcendence happens. The man calls her by name. He says nothing more, just her name. Mary immediately recognizes the man as Jesus, her Lord.

As I read that passage I thought how incredible it would be to hear Jesus say my name. I think it would, as Billy says, convince me of His unconditional love for me. I think I would know that my name is safe in the mouth of Jesus.

One of my favourite scriptures says so – "But now this is what the Lord says... "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1).

God called my name on the day I yielded my life to him and accepted the sacrifice of his life for mine. I believe he screamed my name from the agony of the cross; I believe he calls it still, as He leads and guides me through my life.

I believe He wants to call everyone's name in that way, in a way that dispenses his love and mercy and amazing grace. Everyone's name is safe in His mouth.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

# Childish Questions

James 1:2-4

The phone call had left me stunned. The truth about why my seventeen year old daughter had gone to the hospital the night before left me crying out to God. I knew the relationship she was in was not good but discovering that she had been physically attacked made me angry and left me feeling exhausted and hopeless. I knew I should report the young man to the police but I knew that action would destroy the tenuous relationship we still had with our daughter.

Then I looked at the calendar. I was expected to teach a religious education class that day in a nearby public school. Ordinarily I loved it but that morning I knew I could not do it. I went to the phone to cancel. And God said no. I made myself some breakfast and tried again to call the school. Again God said no. I got dressed and tried to cancel a third time but could not make the call.

I was already angry with God. Now I was furious. How could he expect me to teach a bunch of 4th graders about Him when I was in the mood only to scream at Him. But God said go. So I went, railing at Him all the way. When I arrived at the school I sat in the car for a while and told God, Okay, I'm here, I'm going to walk into that classroom, but you'd better show up because I can't do this on my own.

From the moment I walked into the class the kids fired questions at me. Not deep theological questions, they were the simple kind - Does God really care, does He really love us? Does God hear our prayers. Does he really answer them?

As I answered those simple childish questions my faith was restored. By the time I left my feet were barely touching the ground as I basked in God's stunning grace. I tuned the radio to a Christian station and sang all the way home.

The situation with my daughter hadn't changed but the state of my heart had. I knew God was in control and that He loved my daughter more than I could imagine. I believed once again that He would take care of us all.

Are you doubting God because of difficult circumstances? Go back to the basics. Remember God's character, his grace and mercy and amazing love for you. Know that he does care, He does answer prayer and he does love you beyond measure.

James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

# Clinging to the Rock

Psalm 121:1-8

The far north is a place where things are pared down, taken to the lowest common denominators of life. Rock, water, sun, insects and wind. And of course, in the winter, snow and ice. It is a place where the word survival is never far from one's thoughts.

It was a marvel to me how the tiny delicate flowers of Baffin Island could survive. There is very little soil yet they spring up and cling to solid rock. Vibrant dwarf fireweed, saxifrage, anemones and the ever-present Arctic cotton. The tundra seemed to be in motion as they swayed in the constant wind, lifting their heads toward a far-away sun. We stepped around them, our heads bent in homage, our camera shutters clicking.

As I moved across that barren landscape I couldn't help but think of the barren landscape of cancer I had been wandering in. The similarities were stark. There wasn't much to hang onto at times. The winds of fear and loss seemed always in my face and the sun seemed oh so far away. But that day I stared at a bright yellow anemone and took heart. If this little one could survive in this, her desolate place, then so shall I in mine, by doing what she does season after season. Cling to the rock.

My Rock is more solid and everlasting than those slowly disintegrating across the tundra. My Rock speaks and comforts and holds my hand. My rock carries me when my knees buckle and cradles my head when I just need to cry. My rock hides me in its cleft and sets my feet on a firm foundation.

And when I "lift up my eyes to the hills," and ask, "Where does my help come from?" He answers - "My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over you will not slumber ... The Lord watches over you, the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming going both now and forevermore" (Psalm 121:1-8).

Chemotherapy begins tomorrow.

# Comfort Overflowing

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Two doses of chemo over and I'm feeling like it's letting go of me again. Such a blessing to be able to eat normally and not have indigestion that makes it feel like a small block of wood is forcing its way through my intestines. Slept through the night last night too, another blessing I don't think I'll ever take for granted again. I even went shopping with my daughter today, though I sat through it while she searched the racks. :)

Sitting in the mall it was interesting to watch all the "normal, healthy" people. Some avoided my turbaned head, some smiled a wee bit, some just stared then looked away. Then I noticed a woman walk by whose neck was a bit crooked. Another had a slight limp, another dragged an oxygen tank behind him. Not so "normal and healthy." And I thought, how many times did I breeze by them all in a mall like this, uncaring, oblivious to all the hardships and pain around me. In the glitz and glimmer of a shopping mall it's easy to think the world is all as it should be as we spin along on our quest for consumer items, avoiding the pain, the sadness, refusing to look it in the face, refusing to do anything to alleviate it.

But the reality is, the world underneath all that shine and polish is rather sad and broken. A friend posted a quote from CS. Lewis on Facebook recently - "Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him Happy." So very true.

Yet there is hope, there is purpose.

The author of the second book of Corinthians said it this way - "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows (2Corinthians 1:3-5).

As we see the pain and suffering around us and attempt to minister to it, we enter into the ministry of Christ through His suffering. We enter into the humanity of our race, joining ourselves together with bonds that hold us all up as we stand at the cross. And in so doing we are made more human, moulded more and more into the image of God, which is our true identity.

And some of the brokenness is healed, the sadness turned to joy, the reality of God's love made known. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

# Considering Time

Psalm 90:12

"Did having cancer alter your perspective on time?" My friend waited while I thought about her question. "I'm sure it has," I finally responded, "but I'm not quite sure how." Her question got me thinking and as I thought about it, I was surprised to realize that I no longer look at time as rushing by. I no longer get a panicky feeling when I think of all the things I want to accomplish in my day, my week, my life. I am much more inclined to take the time to stop and consciously make myself aware of what's happening around me.

That surprised me. I would have thought I'd feel more pressure, knowing that life is short and can end at any time. Waking up on a respirator in ICU makes you keenly aware of that fact. But, since having cancer, I'm not so focused on the urgency to do as the desire to be. I stepped out onto a windy winter street this morning and delighted in the falling snow and stood for a moment to watch the swirl of brown leaves kissing the gleaming windows of tall buildings. The urgency to get my Christmas shopping done fell away and time seemed to settle as softly as the falling snow.

It's easy to get caught up in the "tyranny of the urgent," especially as we creep closer to the age when death is peeping around the corner. It's easy to get that panicky feeling in our stomachs as we approach the end of the year and know it's time to make plans for another. But it's also easy, I've discovered, to "be still and know" that He is God and that with His hand in ours fear and even the pounding pulse of time, melts away.

My husband is known for quoting John Piper who said that at the root of all sin is unbelief. I realized as I stood on that street the other day that my panicky feelings were just that, lack of faith in God. Knowing that I was seconds away from meeting Him face to face has restored that faith, given me peace, and yes, changed my perspective on time.

Time is no longer a task-master but simply the measure of the journey we are all taking, one that will lead to that face to face meeting with our Heavenly Father. I know I won't escape it and neither will you. I look forward to it, knowing it is not an end but a new beginning.

I will still sit down in early 2013 to make my list of goals and challenges for the New Year, but this time it will be with a smile on my face, not a frown, knowing that time may stop at any moment and that new beginning will be a shining reality.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12)

# False Starts

Hebrews 12:1&2

Anyone who has watched an Olympic race has probably seen a false start. An over-eager competitor leaps from the starting gate a moment before the gun goes off. An official is usually quick to call the runners back to start again. Everyone feels the loss of energy, the sudden let-down and the need to immediately refocus and settle in for another try.

I was once in an old house that looked like a false start. Walls and windows had been knocked out and only partly replaced. A doorway had been sealed up with gyp-rock, but not painted. The walls in the kitchen too, were bare and unfinished. The man who owned the house obviously had big dreams and expectations at one time, but somewhere along the way he had run out of steam. He had started well but finished poorly.

It can often seem that our lives are made up of false starts. We graduate from school and set out in a direction we are sure will lead to success, only to find there is no future in it. We launch into a business venture we are sure will reap benefits, but find before long it is leading to financial ruin. We start a writing project but run out of steam before it's finished, leaving us with nothing but spent energy. It can feel like failure.

Sometimes even our spiritual lives can seem like a series of false starts. We get enthused about prayer, resolving to spend hours at it, but after a while it takes all we can muster to take a few moments to concentrate. We determine to set aside a regular time for Bible study, and for a while all goes well, but life seems to conspire against us. That discipline too, is left in the dust. It feels like failure. Like the athlete who has just burst from the starting line only to be stopped short, we sometimes find we have expended all our energy but have had to go back and try again. And again. Like the athlete, we must refocus. We must persevere, with the goal in mind.

Perseverance is the mark of a winner. It is through perseverance that races are won, houses are renovated and books are written. It is through perseverance that spiritual growth also occurs. The writer of the book of Hebrews gives us the key - "... and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:1&2) The goal in the spiritual life, is not to keep trying harder, but to keep focused on Christ. When we focus on Jesus, prayer becomes as natural as breathing and Bible study a joy. When we focus on Jesus the false starts don't matter. It is Jesus who will perfect our faith.

Have you had a few false starts in your life lately? Don't focus on the "failures." Focus on Christ, "who for the joy set before Him endured the cross..." (Heb. 12:2)

# Future Tense

Jeremiah 29:11

2010. It seems like future time. Wasn't it just yesterday that 1984 was so far away we thought we'd never get there? Then came 2000, a new millennium. And on we go. The years race after one another as though they are competing in the Indy 500. And I can't keep up. Maybe I'm feeling my age. The big 60 is looming and I just can't wrap my head around the idea.

But then I read a verse like "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life..." John 3:36, and John 3:16 – "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." And I am encouraged. Eternal life. I can't wrap my mind around that concept, either, but I know it's a promise I can count on, because my God is faithful and merciful beyond knowing.

And I know it's not going to be a boring life. It's going to be so full we'll have to be glorified to contain it. Wow. Now that's a concept! Glorified, as he was - like Jesus. Able to stand before God almighty. Able to talk with angels. The mind boggles.

There are a lot of dark clouds looming in the future, according to almost any forward looking "seer" you might choose to listen to. But the concepts mentioned above blow them all out of the water. There is no reason to fear a future in which our bodies will be transformed, able to walk on water and slide through solid walls, as Jesus did. There is no need to shudder at a future where God's Spirit, His unconditional love, grace and mercy will be poured out on his people in ways that will astonish even the most sceptical. There is no logic in trembling at a future in which God's own Son will invite us to join him in ruling a new earth and a new heaven.

Sound fantastic? Sound too good to be true? I agree. But I have chosen to listen and believe what God has declared – "For I know the plans I have for you ... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

2010. Hallelujah, here we go!

# Home Movies

Matthew 21:1-11

Watching old home movies can be a hoot, especially if the amateur moviemaker was as technologically challenged as my father was. We have reams of family memories on film, but you have to know the people well to figure out who they are. "Oh look, that's Mom's knee ... isn't it? And Ron's feet. I'm sure those are Ron's feet!" When my parents made a trip to San Francisco, the camera went along. A few weeks later the rest of the family enjoyed seeing China Town - superimposed over an inverted Golden Gate Bridge. It was a little blurry, but no one seemed to mind.

On one occasion my father relinquished his camera to my eldest brother. He was somewhat better at capturing the significant events of our lives on film. In fact, the footage he took on the main street of our hometown, one day in the mid 1960's, could be called a classic. It's a bit bouncy, but that was because Ron was running as he filmed. It's a bit blurry, but that's because the vehicle he was filming wouldn't slow down. In spite of these disadvantages, my brother managed to capture a brief picture of Queen Elizabeth II, waving to a large crowd. Well, okay, the film isn't really a classic, but somehow it does capture the wild enthusiasm of the people. We see them leaning forward, smiling, hands upraised, eager to dispense their praise as the procession flows by. Somehow that blurred, bouncy film makes you lean forward eagerly too, straining for a brief glimpse of that person of importance.

Such was the atmosphere surrounding the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. The crowd leaned in, chanting their praise, waving their palm branches, laying them at the feet of their hero. "Hosanna to the Son of David!" they cried, "Hosanna in the highest!" (Matthew 21:1-11). If we had been among them, we would have been chanting and waving palm branches too. This was indeed a man of importance, they said, "This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee."

A few days later they crucified Him. When He rode into Jerusalem they thought He might take over the city, or set himself up as a King, or at the very least, lead a revolt. Instead, He allowed himself to be arrested. He allowed the hated Romans to beat Him and execute Him. And He did nothing to save Himself. So those who had leaned in close with praises on their lips now spat on Him and demanded his death.

If we had been among them, we would have done the same. But His mercy and grace is poured out on us anyway, as it was on those who were there that day. The procession Jesus led into the city looked like a triumph and His death looked like a defeat. In reality, His death was His victory. In reality, His death was our victory. "Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!"

# In The Midst of Darkness

Romans 5:8

The day I went to the garden tomb in Jerusalem was grey with a fine drizzle of rain that made me shiver. There weren't many people about, so the garden had a lovely stillness about it, a sombre atmosphere that kept me from speaking. A young man sat alone amongst rows of benches. He was hunched over, praying. Our tour guide spoke in a hushed tone as we stepped down toward the tomb, our feet made soft scraping sounds on the limestone. I glanced back toward the spot where some believe Jesus was crucified, then stepped through the opening in the rock.

It was much smaller than I had envisioned it, the low ledge where his body would have laid, a narrow gouge in the rough-hewn stone. I shuffled forward with the others, then moved slowly back toward the opening. I touched the edge of the rock as I stepped over the lip of the entrance and heard a soft voice behind me say, "It's empty." As I stepped outside, beams of sunlight were streaming through the trees. The rain had passed.

I remembered those images as a small phrase in the first verse of John 20 struck me. It's a phrase I hadn't noticed before, a simple description of the time of day. But the image of that garden, of the greyness of the day and that beam of light made it suddenly have meaning. The phrase – "while it was still dark."

The unfathomable mercy of Christ suddenly overwhelmed me. For it was into the darkness of this world that God sent His Son, it was in the midst of the ugliness and cruelty that he lived, it was while surrounded by His enemies and those who had betrayed Him that He died.

While it was still dark. "While we were still sinners..." (Romans 5:8) He loved us enough to endure the torture and humiliation of the cross. "for the joy set before Him..." (Hebrews12:2). He knew the darkness would not last. Light would stream through that garden and He would be its source.

While it was still dark, Jesus rose. And now, in the midst of the darkness of our world, we are able to shout Hallelujah! May the hope of Easter take root in your heart.

# Inauguration Day

Nehemiah 4:14

Like millions of others around the world I watched the historic inauguration of Barak Obama on television. It was an impressive sight, seeing the millions of people who crammed the streets of Washington, most of them nowhere near where Mr. Obama stood to take the oath of office. Most of them knew before they arrived that they would not get anywhere near him. But still they were there. Over and over again you heard that word, 'historic.' Millions, it appeared, just wanted to be part of that moment.

I was impressed, too, at Mr. Obama's speech. His vision for his country is both noble and bold, considering the state of his nation. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be an American, standing in that crowd listening, and I could understand why the faces of many who listened were glistening with tears. Mr. Obama gives them hope, something desperately needed around the world today.

But, as stirring as the speech and all the fanfare was, I felt a sadness as I watched from my living room. It seemed there was something missing in it all. When the speech was over I led my regular women's Bible study group as we looked at God's word and studied what the name, Adonai means. It was an enlightening study, pondering what that word 'Lord' means to us, particularly when the author made mention of Nehemiah.

That ancient leader took on a task no less daunting than becoming the president of a great country. In the face of much opposition and powerful enemies he was charged with rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem 100 years after they had been destroyed. I imagine Nehemiah gave quite a stirring speech as he stood in the rubble and told the Hebrew people what they were to do. Part of his speech was recorded for us, and one line echoed down through history and off the page as I read it today - "Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome ..." (Nehemiah 4:14)

Mr. Obama's speech was eloquent as he charged the American people with their task of beginning to rebuild their country's strength and honour. But Mr. Obama neglected to mention the fact that nothing can happen without the enabling of the God who is in control of history.

I pray we, as well as Mr. Obama and all the leaders of our countries, will remember God, for he is Adonai, The Lord, who is great and awesome, and it is He, only He, who can change the hearts of men and make them good.

# Learning from Ants

John 13:34

A column of ants creeps determinedly through the jungle, their pilgrimage instinctive and unstoppable. Then they come to a fast-flowing river. They stop, swarming about one another for a time, then one ant descends to the edge of the water. Another steps over him and they clasp arms; then another and another does the same until their bodies form a raft. The raft grows and eventually the ants clinging to the shore let go and the group floats safely to the other side where they await the rest of the column who are forming more rafts with their own bodies.

There is much to learn from the habits of ants, and much to learn about God's plan for our lives as we study them. We, like the ants in the story above, are meant to work within community. When we stick together like those ants using their own bodies to cross a river, we can accomplish what God has laid out for us to do. We need one another, in our spiritual lives, in business, in life in general. That's why God has put us in families, in churches, in work situations. His plan has always been community.

Isolation is dangerous, to our mental, spiritual and even physical health. We were made to be connected to one another, support one another, love one another. When we cling to one another like those ants we can build rafts that will take us to wonderful places - places where God will bless because of our obedience to his command - " A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (John 13:34).

The writer of Hebrews knew this when he wrote \- "Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another ... and all the more as you see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:25).

Look around you today. Is there someone you can join arms with? Perhaps it will be the beginning of building a raft.

# Letting Go and Holding On

Matthew6:19

When we made the decision to sell our home our middle daughter, Laura, was living with us. She had come home from Bangladesh where she'd worked with a mission group for a year. She was excited when she realized we would have to pare down our belongings. Every day she would ask, "What room can I de-clutter now, Mom?" Then she'd grin at me. I didn't grin back. I would remind her we had six months before we had to move. She'd laugh and remind me that we were moving from a five bedroom into a two-bedroom house. It was like a cold cup of water – thrown in my face!

But it was reality. My husband had convinced me to follow the advice of the realtors and renovate our home before putting it on the market. We tore down and built up, we ripped out and replaced. We even bought new furniture. The process was not easy for me. I resented and resisted all these changes. I confess I am a packrat and I tend to hold onto things a little too tightly. I had a hard time letting go. I felt safe and comfortable in the midst of my clutter, my own little nest, surrounded by all my things.

And Laura, dear minimalist that she is, set about enthusiastically deciding what had to go. The problem was, she was a little too enthusiastic and my husband was cheering her on. For the next few months there was a litany that sounded in our house. "Laura, what did you do with... Laura, you didn't throw that away, did you?"

Then came the day I couldn't find my favourite potato peeler. I didn't care that the handle was cracked, it was my favourite! Laura had thrown it away. And I was upset. In fact I was downright angry. The potato peeler was the proverbial last straw. Nothing in my house was the same anymore. It didn't feel like my home, my nest. It had been disrupted and I was disturbed.

I realized that day that I'd forgotten something. My reaction was disproportionate to what was happening. I told myself that it was only stuff, that I shouldn't be so attached, that it was good to let go. But when you let go of something you have to find something else to hold onto. I knew what that something else should be. Or rather, that Someone. I knew I had allowed my identity to be wrapped up in a house and a lot of 'stuff' instead of in Jesus Christ.

I remembered the passage in Matthew, one my husband would half jokingly point me to – "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth ..." (Matt.6:19).

I realized then I needed to not only reorganize my home, but my heart as well. I pray we can all let go of those things that don't matter and hold onto the One who does.

# Letting Lucy Lead

Proverbs 3:5&6

I've just returned from four days on the road, traveling to various communities and speaking to Christian women's groups. Three of those engagements were in a large city that I'm not terribly familiar with. So I took the time before leaving to check on the internet for the locations of each event. Using an internet application I was even able to find out exactly how long it would take me to get from A to B. I printed out the directions and maps and felt well prepared. Just to be safe I also took our trusty GPS along.

For those who might not know, GPS stands for Global Positioning Satellite. It truly is an amazing little gadget. You type in the city and address and a screen lights up with a map and your position is monitored as you drive. Then a friendly voice tells you where to go and when to turn right or left. As I turned it on before leaving for a venue that was in the very heart of the city, I thought there would be no way I could get lost or confused. Famous last words!

You see the map and directions I had copied from the internet did not match with what my GPS was telling me. To make things worse I was heading into the downtown core at the height of the morning rush hour. The traffic was bumper to bumper. The radio had told me there was a city-wide teachers' convention on that morning so the traffic was expected to be even worse than usual. Great, I thought, and my information is contradictory.

As the lilting GPS voice (I call her Lucy) directed me to turn right, I glanced at the written directions I had printed out. Turning right didn't make sense. I turned left and ended up where I didn't want to be. Then I remembered my husband telling me about the training given pilots in the military. They are taught how to fly blind – literally. The cockpit is covered so they can't see a thing and have to rely entirely on their instruments to take off, fly and then land the aircraft. The number one rule is, believe what the instruments say. Don't rely on your own understanding.

So I turned left and found myself heading into what looked like a residential area. That made me nervous. But Lucy said turn left, so I did. Then left again, and suddenly I was at an intersection. Left one more time, and Lucy triumphantly announced I was "arriving at destination, on right." I looked up and sure enough, there was the hotel where the meeting was being held. Letting Lucy lead me had proven the best course. There was no need to worry.

Sometimes it doesn't seem to make sense to follow what God wants us to do. Logic can dictate a different course of action and we often worry. But God's ways are higher than ours. Like Lucy, He is able to see from a clear vantage point. He knows the beginning and the end and the winding route in between. He knows exactly the best route for each one of us.

Proverbs 3:5&6 says it best – "Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

God will always get us to where we need to be. No need to worry. Much need to trust.

# Living and Dying Like Salmon

Ecclesiastes 8:15 & 12:13

My husband attended a seminar a while ago, on church planting. He came home full of enthusiasm and told me what he had learned. Most of it was encouraging and uplifting but there was a note of caution. At the end of the day the speaker showed them all a poster of a huge grizzly bear standing at the top of a waterfall. A salmon is leaping straight up the waterfall and headed directly for that grizzly's wide open mouth. The caption on the photo says, "The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very very badly."

That photo made me laugh, ruefully, because I know it to be true. I have seen those big salmon leaping waterfalls, and I've seen them lying almost motionless in their spawning grounds, only to be scooped up by hungry bears before they accomplish their purpose. It seems such a waste to think of all their effort to get there ending only in death.

But that's the way life is. I know it to be true. People too struggle to get to the place where they think they need to be, sometimes denying themselves the true joys of life for the sake of getting there, only to find it isn't what they thought it would be.

And then there's the death factor. It seems such a waste to think of all that struggle, knowing the end is always the same. We will all die, the rich and poor, the powerful and the powerless. All will come to the same end.

So, what's the point?

This was the conundrum for the writer of the book of Ecclesiastes. He said, "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad" (Ecc. 8:15). But at the end of all his musings he concludes, "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man" (Ecc. 12:13).

In the end, I think it is a combination of these two things that makes sense. I believe God wants us to enjoy the life he has given us, and we are best able to do that when we do honour and obey Him. Putting God first in our lives frees us from the fear that can drive us like a beleaguered salmon, frees us to live fulfilled lives no matter what the circumstances, lives full of joy and peace.

Knowing God is in control and that all life has purpose quashes the despair that can defeat us when we realize much of what we do is meaningless and will not last. With Christ, life is never meaningless, and death is never a waste. Knowing God loves us beyond measure assures us that when it does all end, we will step forward, not into the gaping jaws of destruction, but into a new beginning with Him. Knowing God assures us that we don't have to live and die like salmon.

# Man's plans; God's Purpose

Proverbs 19:21

The men of Dawson City Gospel Chapel had just finished a prayer breakfast and were about to start work on the new church building. They were all anxious to get at it because the date of the dedication had been set and they were behind schedule. The pastor had prayed that morning for a couple more carpenters to help with the work.

They were about to begin when there was a knock on the door. The pastor answered and listened patiently to the man's story. He and his son had been trying to leave town, heading for Alaska on their vacation. But every time they tried to drive up the long hill out of town their vehicle broke down. "I was told there's someone here who is a good mechanic," he said. "Could I get him to have a look?" The pastor invited him in and explained his situation to the other men. Then he turned to the man and asked his name. "Bud Carpenter," the man responded. "And this is my son, Josh Carpenter."

He was a little puzzled when the men started to laugh, until the pastor told him what he had just prayed a few moments before answering the knock on the door. Bud then laughed with them and explained that he was taking his son to Alaska as a graduation gift and they really had no firm time schedule. "I'm pretty good with a hammer. We'd be happy to help for a few days." They stayed for a week. The mechanic looked at their vehicle and found nothing wrong with it. The work was finished on time and the pair continued on their way after the dedication celebration. They had no trouble climbing that hill.

I was thinking about that story the other day and thinking about how we are all like those Carpenters in a way. All of us are busily going on our way, with our own agendas and plans. But sometimes God throws a bit of a detour into the plan. We can react to it in two ways. We can fight it and keep on trying to climb that hill, or we can stop and listen for His voice to see if perhaps there is another plan in place.

A friend told me a story about going on a mission trip to India. The plans had been well made, the itinerary laid out and everything seemed in place. But when they arrived no-one met them. My friend said it was interesting to see how the group members handled it. Those from North America were stressed and some were angry. They wanted to call some one and get it all straightened out so they could get back on schedule. But there were two fellows from Africa who counselled a different way. They suggested the group wait and pray. So they slept in the train station that night and prayed.

The next day a young man arrived on a motorcycle. "I've been sent to get you," he said. But he was not from the mission and had no idea why he was sent to get them. After some debate they decided to go with him and ended up having a tremendous time of ministry and growth in his village. Nothing was structured. Each day was a routine of waking up and praying to see what God wanted them to do. And each day they were blessed. They never did connect with the original group they were supposed to work with but they all knew they had done what God intended.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

# Mercy in a Gift Shop

Jude 1:21

I received this scripture by email one morning - Jude 1:21 "staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life!" (The Message)

I was struck by the words, "ready for the mercy."

I believe this is a big part of being a Christ follower – we are to be looking for evidence of His hand everywhere we go, watching for His grace and mercy, looking for signs of His incomparable love. Sometimes we are to be that hand ourselves.

I was in a hospital gift shop, stocking shelves with books some time ago. A young woman asked me about the flowers in a nearby display case. Her eyes were hopeful but I had to disappoint her and explain that I did not work in the gift shop. I was just there to stock the book rack. I pointed to two ladies at a nearby counter. "Maybe they can help," I said.

She nodded, stared at the flower display and sighed. "I'm not really sure what I want."

I took note of her dress then – a baseball cap pulled over messy hair; a thin pair of pyjama bottoms topped by a hospital issue housecoat wrapped around a frail frame; pull-on terrycloth slippers, two sizes too big.

"My friend is dying," she said, then turned back to me. "I am too."

I put my clipboard down and waited. Her story unfolded in simple language, the words slipping from her mouth almost as though rehearsed. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a picture of her seven year old daughter. I could see the resemblance. She smiled when I mentioned it and went on to say there was a surgery that she was hoping for – highly experimental, there was only one doctor in the country who could do it and he just happened to live in a nearby city. But then her voice fell and I had to lean close to hear. Her friend had had the surgery. She was still dying.

The conversation turned to the word hope then. She had hope they would agree to do the surgery, hope that, unlike her friend, she would recover, hope that she would live to watch her daughter grow up. She said a pastor came to visit sometimes and "we say our small prayers together. They seem small, just words, but maybe not, eh?" Again that hopeful look in her eyes.

I was praying small prayers right then. She's so young, Lord. Please. Please.

Then she was gone and I resumed stocking the rack. I do it once a month and in that hospital, the rack is usually almost empty by the time I return. As I filled the pockets with books I was acutely aware of their contents. They hold pages about the love and mercy of Jesus, pages filled with stories of courage and faith, pages of humour to lift a sad heart and inspiration to encourage a weary soul. Pages of hope.

I knew I was sent there that day to do much more than "just stock the book racks," but my job suddenly seemed important. My other job, as a writer, suddenly seemed essential, "That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works." (Ps. 26:7, KJV).

What about you? Are you "ready for the mercy" of your Master?

# Of Lifejackets and other Saving Things

Psalm 119:1-2

I was raised smack dab in the middle of two of the largest of North America's Great Lakes, Lake Huron and Lake Superior. So I'm used to being in, around and on the water. I did a lot of swimming and boating as a child. These were activities that we all took for granted so there was very little supervision and safety precautions were non-existent. I almost drowned once. No-one really noticed. I almost drowned my nephew once. At the age of two he slipped off the bow of my tiny "sea flee." No life jackets in sight. When we returned home no-one questioned why his diaper was wet.

I realized I had a rather large blind spot in regard to the dangers of being in, around and on the water when my husband and I were in a small aluminum boat off the coast of Papua New Guinea. The wind had come up and the waves grew as we headed across the mouth of a wide bay. The boat was tossed about as huge waves splashed over us. I was loving it. My husband was white-knuckled as he clung to the gunwale and prayed. It wasn't until we reached shore that the word lifejacket was mentioned.

We were once on a small sailboat and a similar thing happened. The wind made the craft heel over nicely and I was delighted. My husband was worried about an eight-year-old sitting on the bow with his dad. Neither wore a lifejacket. When he commented later that it would have been disastrous if that boy had slipped off, I realized, oh yeah, I guess a lifejacket would have been wise.

It seems familiarity can breed blindness and even, yes I'll admit it, stupidity.

Many of us go through life this way, almost daring fate to do its worst. Unfortunately, 'fate' often does. Many of us go through our spiritual lives this way too. We become so familiar with the culture of our religion that we ignore the things that will keep us safe. There are precautions we are told to take, habits and disciplines that act like lifejackets and lifeboats. Things like reading the Bible regularly, attending a church and praying often. It is wise to use them, wise to realize that familiarity can breed blindness and stupidity.

The scriptures warn and it would be wise to listen -

"Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart." (Psalm 119:1-2)

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25)

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1)

# Ordinarily

Philippians 4:8

Ordinarily I don't like it when people send me those forwarded-forwarded-forwarded emails. Ordinarily I consider them a waste of time and often delete them without opening them. But as I went through treatments for cancer some time ago, a dear friend who knows what it's like to be facing an illness like cancer began sending them regularly. She picked beautiful pictures, inspirational thoughts and, best of all, laugh-out-loud jokes. I read each one and I must admit I even gotten to the point where I looked forward to finding one in my inbox each day.

I guess my idea of wasted time had shifted a bit. I stared out the front window of our home more often, just to watch the wind ripple on the pond across the street - (I called it pondering ;0 ). Each time I walked by them I leaned down to smell the flowers my husband bought me when I had to spend the day having tests at the hospital. I scratched my cat's ears more than I used to. I stood on our back deck, watched the clouds and listened to the laughter of our neighbour's children. I lay awake in the mornings and stared at the outline of my husband's face in the early sunlight. The accumulation of these little things seemed to make a difference as life slowed into a rhythm of waiting.

I also found that scriptures - those oh-so- familiar passages that can seem trite or even cliché at times - had a whole new depth now that I had a deeper understanding of my need for them. I got regular emails with scripture delivered to my inbox too, and I opened them first. The accumulation of verses seemed to make a difference when my mood slipped a little, when my heart was longing for something beyond this reality to hang onto.

One of the passages that arrived was this one from Philippians 4:8 -"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ... if anything is excellent or praiseworthy... think about such things."

I noticed there was no action connected to this passage, just thinking. You can do that anytime, anywhere, but to do it deeply you have to slow down a little. You have to pause, perhaps stare out a window at a small pond, and just think.

Ordinarily I wouldn't have been doing such things. My life would have been bustling with urgencies like deadlines and projects and to-do lists. But there is nothing ordinary about living with cancer. It changes things. It changes you. Ordinarily I would think that a bad thing, but now I treasure it. I treasure the tingling awareness of this world now that I know how tenuous my hold on it really is. I treasure the small things, the pondering.

Interesting - I seem to be smiling a lot.

# Roadblocks

Hebrews 6:12

I was on my way to meet some friends for lunch and already running late. Seeing the flashing sign on the highway did not make me happy. Expect delays. Construction ahead. Haarrummph. Sure enough, the vehicles ahead of me started to brake. I slowed down with the rest of them and slid into the long line that was almost at a standstill. Then I noticed my hands were gripping the steering wheel rather tightly.

I took a deep breath and told myself to relax. Then I remembered commenting to my husband that it was about time this stretch of road was repaired. I sighed. The work was necessary for everyone's safety and there was no other way to do it than to make the traffic slow down and take a bit of a detour. Causing my blood pressure to hit the roof would not change anything. My friends would wait for me. I sat back and turned on a favourite CD.

Road blocks, whether on a physical highway or in our lives, are not easy to deal with. We have people to see, things to accomplish - delays look like nothing more than something that will add stress to our days. But, as a friend recently reminded me, they usually have a purpose. Like the construction on that local highway, the work is usually necessary - perhaps essential - to our mental, physical and spiritual well being.

I ran into a few road blocks in my writing career this week. They were frustrating and I admit they did not inspire me to praise. They almost pushed me to rage. I have books to write, books to market, words I know God will use to help and to heal - but the roadblocks keep popping up. Yes, I know God's timing is always perfect but these detours into cancer clinics and other road blocks that are suddenly thrown in my path don't seem to help. But yes, I know they do have a purpose.

Slowing down has its advantages. I was able to do more editing on my manuscript, since its publication had been delayed again. I had more time to pray about those who need to read it and how I should go about getting it into their hands. I had time, in those cancer clinics, to pray for and minister to people whose lives are all too real, all too painful. I realized that stepping out of the realm of fiction into cold hard reality gave me a different perspective about my writing and about my life. And I realized that perhaps these detours and roadblocks were necessary, even essential, to the work that God has ahead for me to do.

Perhaps there is no perhaps about it. I just need to "imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised" (Hebrews 6:12).

# Rooted in Love

Ephesians 3:17-18

The Bible college professor handed out the syllabus for the first term and I gulped as I read it. The course dealt with two books written by the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians and it included choosing a chapter to memorize. A whole chapter! I started praying that God would give me the capacity to cram that much scripture into my brain and be able to get it all back out onto paper, verse numbers and punctuation included. We had several weeks to do the assignment but I picked chapter 13 of First Corinthians and began right away. I picked it because I already knew a portion of it by heart and I figured memorizing the famous "love chapter" would be easier that some of the others. I had no idea what memorizing that portion of scripture would do to me.

At the time, I was in the middle of teaching a women's bible study on campus but after getting half way through the love chapter I seriously considered quitting. My motivation had been all wrong. I hadn't accepted the teaching assignment out of love, I had accepted it out of pride and my need for affirmation. I spoke with an older woman of God about my dilemma and she gave me wise counsel. She said that even though my motives may not have been the best, God was teaching me through the process. The challenge was to rise to the need for change, to pray for guidance and then obey.

I began to realize that the love God had poured into me the day I accepted Christ as my Saviour was not meant to stay buried in my heart. It was meant to be poured back out. That wasn't easy for me. Still isn't. Because of some of the damage that was done to my heart and soul as a young girl, I'm a bit afraid of love, afraid to receive it and to give it freely. I'm sometimes afraid it will cost too much, hurt too much. But little by little God is helping me to trust Him enough to know that His love is patient and kind it is not easily angered. His love keeps no record of wrongs. His love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. His love never fails.

I take courage in the Apostle Paul's prayer in the book of Ephesians chapter 3, verses 17-18 -"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."

Rooted and established in love. That's what being a Christian means because God is love. So we are rooted and established in Him. We may fail to show it, fail to do it, but that is the reality of who we are. My prayer is that as we live our lives day to day, the love of God may not be a trickle that seeps out of us, but a torrent flowing through all we do.

# Rushing the Season

Acts 1:4

She stood on the street corner waiting for the light to change. Her t-shirt was thin and short-sleeved, her jeans cut off at the knees. The temperature that day had almost reached double digits but the afternoon was slipping into evening and the sun had dropped. The girl wrapped her arms around her thin arms as she waited for the light to change. I could tell she was shivering.

We see these people every year. The days start to get a bit warmer and they pull out their shorts and flip-flops. It makes me think of my mother's expression - "Now that's rushing the season."

Spring makes us all a bit anxious that way. We're a lot like race horses stomping in the gate. We love the warmer temperatures, the blooming trees and budding flowers. Winter is long and the appearance of new life spurs us to leap into spring with both feet. We just can't wait. But like that young girl shivering on the corner, we can end up in a pickle if we leap too soon. Like walking across a lake in the springtime, it can even be dangerous.

Leaping ahead in other ways can be dangerous too. Sometimes we can get so anxious to make things happen that we leave God completely out of the equation. We make great plans but find fulfilling them just doesn't work.

The Apostles discovered this just after Jesus rose from the dead. No doubt they were anxious to make things happen. Jesus had proven Himself to them by his resurrection. Now they thought they were ready for action. They even asked him if he was going to chase the Romans out and establish His kingdom in Jerusalem. But Jesus warned them about running ahead of themselves, and of Him. This is what is recorded in the book of Acts, Chapter 1 verse 4 - "On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about."

That gift was the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the empowerment that allowed the disciples to act boldly in proclaiming that Jesus was Lord. Before receiving that gift they cowered in a dark room; after receiving it they went into the marketplaces and byways of their society and told everyone they met about this man who had changed their lives.

God has promised to lead and guide us through His Holy Spirit. All we have to do is wait and listen, study his word and seek the council of Godly people. Springing into action without that will get us into a pickle and may even be dangerous.

# When God Puts You in the Sidecar

Psalm 18:18-19

My husband is a motorcycle enthusiast. Whenever he sees one he likes he'll point it out and say, "Nice bike," then look at me to gauge my reaction. We were sitting at a stoplight not long ago and a shiny motorcycle pulled up beside us. It had a sidecar attached.

"There we go," Spence said.

I laughed, imagining what it would be like to ride in such a little appendage. "I think I'd rather be on the bike with you," I said, "or better yet, on one of my own." Sidecars are for kids, I thought. You don't have any control in a sidecar; you just have to hang on and try to enjoy the ride.

God put me in a sidecar for a time. I was diagnosed with cancer and suddenly my life was not mine to control. Doctors told me what would happen, when and where I would go. I didn't want to experience any of what they'd told me I would go through. But I had no choice. All I could do was hang on and find ways to cope with the ride.

In the book of John, Jesus tells the apostle Peter about a time when the same thing would happen to him. "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!" (John 21:18-19)

When I was diagnosed I didn't know what was ahead for me. I was hopeful that the cancer would be eradicated and I would go on with my life. I prayed my time in the sidecar would be short. But I knew it was possible that God had another plan. So, in the meantime, I took encouragement from those few words, "by which Peter would glorify God." What happened to him was not in vain. It had a purpose. The events of our lives all have purpose and are meant to bring glory to God. We have agency in that, by his grace and mercy, and that fruit will be a blessing not just to others but to us as we journey down that road.

I was spurred on too, by the next words Jesus spoke. "Follow me!" That's a path Peter tried hard to take, one that changed him into a man of God, a leader of men. It's a path that leads to "a spacious place," (Ps. 18:19), where God's presence is evident, to the joy that comes in understanding God's undying love and the peace that makes us lean into the wind and relish every moment on this earth – even moments in the sidecar.

"but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me" (Psalm 18:18-19).

# Something Beyond

Ephesians 1:18-19

The Canadian Oxford dictionary defines transcendent as "something beyond the grasp of human experience." My husband once defined it as "a tiny piece of wonder, a small phrase of beauty."

I've had a few of them – those tiny pieces of wonder. Often they have come in the midst of God's creation – standing on the edge of a cliff looking out at the vastness of Lake Superior, or in the middle of an evergreen forest as big flakes of snow fall into the silence. I once experienced one on the shores of a small Alberta lake, watching a friend be baptized as the sun set.

I experienced one the other night, but it was a bit unusual.

It was a very ordinary evening for us, as ten or twelve people crowded into our family room to begin a study on the Gospel of John. Snacks were on the coffee table along with a jug of juice and one of water. People chatted as they helped themselves. Then, as everyone settled, my husband asked, "What do you wish for the place where you are right now. What do you envision for that place?" There was silence for a time, then one young man spoke up. "Something fantastic!" he said, "Something explosive!"

I smiled at his exuberance. Others chimed in, sharing their hopes and dreams. Then we began the study and God's word unfolded before us. As the evening was coming to a close I had a "tiny piece of wonder." I looked around at the faces of the people there and saw the shine of faith in their eyes. I saw their passion to know God more, their zeal to do whatever God asked of them, and I realized that this was something fantastic, something explosive, right here in our living room.

And that awareness lifted me above human experience, above the reality that our church is small and doesn't even have its own building, above the reality that less than ten percent of our community worships God on any given Sunday, let alone through the rest of the week. That moment of transcendence gave me a great deal of hope for this place where we are right now. It thrilled me to feel the presence of God there and to know that He has given us a part in His plan for this place. It filled me with gratitude and humbled me beyond words.

Sometimes God opens our understanding and something ordinary becomes "a small phrase of beauty." We are lifted beyond our experience and we see with new eyes. I believe this happens because someone prayed, as the Apostle Paul did for the disciples – "that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." (Ephesians 1:18-19)

That is my prayer for us all.

# Taking a Break

Matthew 11: 28-30

We've had two young men and my mother-in-law staying with us for the past week. We're running a soccer Bible camp, hence the young men, and it was my mother-in-law's 89th birthday, hence her visit. It's turned out to be a fun time. We have three daughters, all grown and away, so having some guys around has been great, even if they do eat a bit more. Well, okay, a lot more. "Grandma" has been teaching them to play dominoes so there's lots of laughter happening around the kitchen table.

I'm on the run, doing registration, being the "go-fer," making meals, cookies, doing laundry, etc. etc. etc. I don't mind it at all, but trying to get to my computer for some extended writing time has been a challenge. I was getting rather stressed about that when I remembered something that happened a while ago in the parking lot of a local bookstore. My husband and I were heading for our car when I heard my name being called and looked back to see one of my favourite writers, a mentor and friend for some years, Sigmund Brouwer. I was pleased to bump into him because I'd sent him an email some time before about speaking at a writers' event and he hadn't replied. When I mentioned it he explained that when he's writing he doesn't do email. After chatting for a while we went our separate ways and I commented to my husband, "I wonder what would happen if I ignored my email for that long?"

"The world would stop spinning and fall of its axis," he said. His sardonic reply made me grin and it gave me some much-needed perspective. Having just gone through a whole year during which I could neither do much writing nor involve myself in most of the other endeavours in which I usually engage, I have come to realize that I'm not totally indispensible and a break in routine doesn't necessarily mean disaster. The world didn't stop spinning. Life did go on even if I had to take a break from some things. And the slower rhythm of life gave me time to ponder and listen and sometimes just enjoy.

So, with this week getting more and more busy I gave myself permission to take a break from the writing regimen I'd set out for myself to finish my latest w.i.p. The pause will throw the schedule off a bit, but it won't stop the world from spinning. As soon as I made that decision the week immediately became less stressful and a lot more fun. It reminded me of one of my favourite verses from The Message my Eugene Peterson - "I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

"The unforced rhythms of grace." Words to ponder, words to build into our lives, as we take the time to "keep company" with the Lord, draw closer to those around us and closer to the interior workings of our thoughts and emotions, motives and dreams.

How about you? Is it time to give yourself permission to take a break?

# Tension

Psalm 33:18-22

I love books with a lot of tension on the page - books that make you grip them a little harder than others, books that make you hold your breath.

I love the Bible for that very reason. There are so many stories in it that do all of the above. The story of Joseph, for instance, especially the scene where his brothers come before him in Egypt to beg for food, not knowing this man is the brother they betrayed. The tension on that page is palpable. What will Joseph do? Has he forgiven them or will he punish them and get his revenge at last? And the tension is drawn out as he plays games with them, throws them in jail, tells them to leave and come back again, tells them not to return without their youngest brother. Through it all we wonder what God is doing, how this drama will play out and how God will be glorified. Even when we know the end of the story, it makes us hold our breath.

My husband preached on this passage a while ago, and talked a bit about the tension - this is a short excerpt -

"The disguise of grace promises that one day there will be a great reveal. It's what makes the tension grow in this story, the anticipation of what it will be like when the brothers finally know who he is, when the father is finally reunited with the son that was lost. All these are prompts to us of an even greater day of revealing. Every act of disguised grace here below has the purpose in it of knowing the author of this grace for who He really is, of being brought close to the Father. The Great Reveal is coming soon."

There has been a great deal of tension in the world lately, a great deal of drama. Many who are watching are grasping onto material things a little harder, hoping they won't slip away. Many are holding their breath as they wonder what's going to happen.

But, like the story of Joseph and many others in the Bible, we know what's in the last chapter. We know God's grace and mercy will be revealed. We know He will be glorified, whatever happens. Because, as my husband said - "He who lived His life mostly in a disguise of grace, was revealed through the resurrection as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords."

Psalm 33 says it so well - "But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you." (Psalm 33:18-22).

# The Game you Cannot Win

Psalm 33:18-22

A While ago my family was introduced to a game, Settlers of Catan, that has become a favourite. Well, for some of us. You see some of us seem more able to win than others. Take last weekend for instance.

My daughter talked us into playing. She pulled out the many pieces and set it up. Once it was arranged she put small round cardboard circles, face down, on each tile. These are crucial. Then each of us rolled one of the dice to see who would go first.

Meagan won the roll. Of course. So Meagan placed her first settlement and a road on the board. Then each of us placed our own in turn. Then we flipped over all the little round circles. Each one has a number on it. When you roll the dice, if you have a settlement or a city touching that number you are given the resource that number is sitting on. So those tiny round circles really determine the game. And that's where we've discovered a weakness in the enjoyment of it. You see, if all your numbers are those that are very rarely rolled, you don't have a chance to win. On this particular night, I was sitting on a 12 a 2 and two 3's – numbers that rarely come up when the dice are rolled. The others were sitting on numbers that statistically come up a lot. I knew before we started that I could not win the game. So why play?

Often life can seem to be a game we cannot win. Everything seems to go right for everyone else, but never for us. The numbers are stacked against us. It's tempting to despair and want to quit. Why play when you can never win? But there is good news. In God's kingdom, it's not about winning.

Look at the lives of the apostles – most were poor, some were outcasts from their own society. And once they joined up with Jesus things didn't get any better. Look at the people Jesus liked to associate with – the lepers and prostitutes, the beggars, the outcasts. Look at the life of Jesus himself – born in a stable, raised in obscurity, convicted as a criminal and sentenced to death. None of that looks like winning to me. Yet those same apostles turned the world upside down as they preached the gospel. Those same outcasts changed their society as the testimony of what Jesus did for them became evident. And Jesus himself had the ultimate victory over sin and death when he rose from the dead.

The truth is, none of us can win at the game of life without Christ. It's too corrupt, too full of sin and chaos. Even if we do become rich and powerful and seem to be winning at life, without Christ there is no real fulfillment, no real victory. Without Christ there is only emptiness.

But with Him the poorest of the poor can be joyful, those in mourning can rejoice, and those who are persecuted can be glad. This is the message of one of the most revolutionary portions of the Bible, the sermon on the mount. Jesus says – "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted, blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled" (Matthew 5:3-6).

In the end, Jesus wins and so do we. When He lives in us it doesn't matter what cards we're dealt or what numbers come up. Jesus gives us all we need to really win – Himself.

# The Hammered Shape of Truth

Isaiah 53:11

"The apartment is small." My mother-in-law sighed and glanced around her. "So I'll have to get rid of a lot." She was glad to be moving into a senior's residence, but it meant parting with things she had treasured for a long time. She glanced at a large round metal tray on the wall of the dining room. "Would you like that tray?" she asked. "Your Dad bought it in a Persian market in Mozambique."

My husband nodded. "Sure Mom. It will look great in that niche in our living room."

She got up right away, took it down and handed it to him. It's made of hammered brass. You can see the tool marks where the artisan placed whatever he had used to make the design. As I touched the chiselled surface I could almost hear the ring of the metal as the hammer struck.

I thought about that tray as my favourite pastor preached about the Book of Ruth recently. The sermon resonated with a number of people in the congregation. One sentence stood out for me - "The hammered shape of truth in your life is meant to lead you to harvest, not defeat."

He said it was significant that Ruth and Naomi arrived back in Bethlehem at harvest time. Their lives were about to change, again, and this time it was for the better. After all they had been through they were ready, now, to receive the harvest. There was a plan, a purpose in all they had suffered.

I thought of people we've known who have been through difficult things in their lives. Women whose husbands walked away; others who wished they would. Families torn apart by foolishness and others devastated by disease; some who have been victims of violence, others, victims of their own wrong choices.

Then I thought of those we've known who have triumphed in spite of it all – those who are enjoying a time of harvest. It seems they were able to recognize that the hard times were for a purpose. They recognized that no matter what they were experiencing, God loved them deeply and unconditionally. They held on to Him for dear life. That was the "hammered shape of truth" in their lives. The result was a life shining with the beauty of gleaming brass, a life filled with purpose, a life ready for harvest.

There is no greater example of this than Jesus himself. Through all that He suffered He held on to his understanding of what it was His Father was doing. He knew His father loved him and loved those whom He would reach. And He knew there would be a time of harvest. So, "for the joy set before Him, he endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:2).

Like Jesus, those who suffer yet hold on to God will "see the light of life and be satisfied." (Isaiah 53:11). They will receive the harvest.

# The Power of Brokenness

Psalm 51:16-17

It seems there were two men, two of Jesus' disciples, who were deeply loved by Him. He loved them so much that he took the time to chat with them as they walked away from Jerusalem toward their home in a town called Emmaus. That would not have been particularly unusual, except that Jesus had been crucified three days before. The account of this story in the book of Luke tells us that the two men were "kept from recognizing him" (Luke 24:16), even as Jesus "explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself" (v.27). It wasn't until they were eating with him that their eyes were opened and they saw. It happened at the moment when Jesus broke the bread.

I don't think that moment was a random act. I believe Jesus chose it to teach those two men something. I believe He was also teaching us something about brokenness.

The Psalmist David knew about brokenness. When the prophet Nathan confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba, David poured out his heart to God, acknowledged his sin and sought God's forgiveness. He knew what was required – ""You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise" (Ps.51:16-17).

It's not easy to think about that, let alone desire it. We don't often pray, "Lord, break me." We don't often recognize that we are already broken people, damaged by our own sin. It's common knowledge among those who work with alcoholics that they cannot be helped until they have "hit bottom." Until they recognize their need for help they cannot change.

We are all in that place. Until we recognize our need for God, for his mercy and grace and forgiveness, we cannot fix our brokenness. He is the only healer who can accomplish it.

Why brokenness? Because it leads us to our Saviour, to the one who loves us so deeply he takes the time to walk with us and reveal himself to us. He has broken the bread of his own body and offered it to His Father as a sacrifice to atone for our sins. He offers it to us. All we have to do is acknowledge our brokenness and reach out to take the gift that will give us complete healing in every way.

# Wayfarer's Chapel

1Corinthians 6:11

The Wayfarer's Chapel sits serenely on a cliff face in California, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Its architect, Lloyd Wright (son of Frank Lloyd Wright), named it well. It is entirely made of local stone, Redwood and glass, its geometric shape beckoning from its height those who race by on the highway and stream boldly into the bay below. It is a small chapel but its effect is powerful.

The California sun streams through its massive glass panels, yet the green trees and other vegetation surrounding it keep the heat from rising to an uncomfortable level. There seems to be no barrier between what is inside and what is out.

The altar is also small, tucked up against the front under massive Redwood beams and a circular window that frames the branch of a reaching Pine. The altar is made of stone, its front engraved with the words Our Father Who Art in Heaven. The steps that lead up to it continue the prayer... Hallowed be Thy Name ... Thy Kingdom Come... Thy will be done. Those words, emblazoned in that place, seem to invite the universe as well as God to make it so. They invited me, drew me, sanctioned me to that calling.

Standing in the middle of that small place on a clear winter's day, there seemed to be no barrier between me and the earth and sky and God Himself. I felt exposed, yet did not shrink away, seen, yet lifted my head and heart toward the sky. All in the stillness, all within the strength of soaring wood, within the delicate and fragile enclosure of glass and grace.

In his book, Chasing Francis, Ian M. Cron wrote - "You go on a pilgrimage because you know there's something missing inside your soul and the only way you can find it is to go to sacred places, places where God made himself known to others. In sacred places, something gets done to you that you've been unable to do for yourself." (p.42)

I didn't know I was on a pilgrimage that day. The pilgrimage found me, perhaps, when I entered that sacred place and became aware, again that there was "something missing inside." Just looking at the photographs I took that day stir that longing in me still, to be united fully, to see face to face, to be known. To have something done to me that I cannot do for myself.

I remembered, in that place, which seemed to have no barrier between me and God, that it was He who had accomplished just such an astonishing feat. It was He who reached through the barriers I had erected against Him, and invited me, drew me with irresistible grace and sanctified me according to His purposes. It was there I recognized once again, that something had indeed been done to me that I could not do for myself. Salvation.

"...But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1Corinthians 6:11).

# What are We Missing?

Luke 12:29-33

There is a story in the Bible that has always somewhat intrigued me – the story of the "most excellent Felix." (Acts 24:3) He was the governor who tried the apostle Paul, the governor who kept Paul under house arrest for over two years, because "he was hoping Paul would offer him a bribe." (Acts 24:26). Felix kept sending for the apostle, talking with him many times over the course of those two years, waiting for the bribe. That makes me chuckle just a little. Felix was waiting for a bribe but getting something much more valuable – the wisdom of one of the best minds in the country and no doubt much to think about in terms of his spiritual condition. We don't know how those talks affected the governor. We only know when he left his office he left the apostle in prison.

It would appear that Felix was so focused on what he wanted he missed what he really needed.

I think we are all a little like that. We want many things – financial security, promotions at work, a big house and a good neighborhood to live in, a new car every other year, a big screen TV to watch all our favourite shows, good health and fitness.

But what are we missing?

Are we so focused on financial security that we work too many hours to the neglect of our families? Are we so driven to get that promotion that we miss having a genuine and caring relationship with fellow workers? Are we so proud of the house and car that we alienate our neighbours? Are we so addicted to the TV that we never have a meaningful conversation with our spouses and children? Are we so obsessed with the fitness of our physical bodies that we neglect our spiritual souls?

Perhaps we should ask ourselves, "What do I need?"

Jesus has told us what we need, told us to be careful to seek it. He said – "And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ... your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom and these things will be given to you as well... provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." (Luke 12:29-33).

We need to be close to Jesus. We need to serve him by serving others. Then our lives will be fulfilled and our wants will fade into the realm of unimportance.

# When People are Just Like Dogs

James 4:7

I got up from my desk chair and almost tripped over our two golden retrievers, Jorja and Jaxon. If you know anything about this breed, you know they are people-lovers. The closer they can get to you, the better they like it. Hence, the tripping – J and J were lying directly behind me. In fact, Jaxon's head was resting on the leg of the chair. When I moved they moved, but rather slowly. I shooed them on ahead of me as I headed upstairs. They charged up the first flight, rounded the landing and took one more lunge up the next few steps. Then they stopped dead.

I rounded the landing and shooed them on, but they didn't move. In fact Jaxon took one step backwards. That's when I saw Moxie, our large tortoise shell cat sitting calmly on the top step, preening herself. She knows quite well that she is queen of the house, at least as far as those dogs are concerned. They will not go past her on the stairs; if she wants to eat from their dog dish, they let her; if she blocks their way out the back door, they stay inside. Moxie is a big cat, but the retrievers are about ten times her size. And there are two of them. But they let her control their lives. Duhhh!

I've seen people, even Christian people, caught in this same dilemma. They are blocked by their own sin and they can't seem to get past it. Like Jorja and Jaxon, they don't realize that they have all the resources they need to conquer that sin. The writer of 1Corinthians knew this when he wrote – "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

The Apostle James gives us the clue to winning the victory. "Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). The first sentence of that verse is essential. Too often we submit to Satan instead of to God. Like J and J, we are paralyzed by his schemes, when all we have to do is call on the One who is greater. All we have to do is realize that 'the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" (1John 4:4).

Jesus won that victory for us on the cross of Calvary over 2,000 years ago. Isn't it time we acknowledged that fact? Isn't it time we started living the life He intends for us instead of cowering before the evil one? Duhh!

# The Safest Place

Isaiah 48:10

My husband and I watched the film "Iron Lady" recently - the story of Margaret Thatcher, one of Britain's longest-running Prime Ministers and the first woman to hold that office in the nation's history. I enjoyed the film and was particularly struck by one scene in which the PM is being interviewed on television. The host refers to her recent trip to the United States and asks what she learned while there.

"I learned that the people in the United States are not afraid of success," she said. An interesting and astute comment, I thought.

Then Sunday morning my husband preached on Joshua Chapter 3 - the scene at the Jordan River when God tells Joshua how it will be done. "They were to put their most precious possession, the Arc of the Covenant, into a raging torrent," my favourite preacher said. And they were to trust God for success in all the battles to come.

I wondered as I listened to my husband, what those people might have been thinking as they crossed into the Promised Land. Were they at last ready to do battle? Were they afraid? Did they perhaps glance up-river to make sure the priests were still standing steady with the Arc on their shoulders? Did they kick at the dry sand under their feet and tremble at what God had done?

I think the answer to all of the above is yes. They were ready, because God had been preparing them for forty years. But I think they were afraid and no doubt kept an eye on the Arc as they crossed. And no doubt they trembled. But they did what God told them to do. They trusted Him, at least in that moment, and were confident of success because He had promised it to them.

My favourite preacher asked an interesting question during his sermon. "What if success did not lie so much in what was to come but in the very crossing itself? What if the process was what would make them perfect, "refined ...in the fires of affliction?" (Isaiah 48:10)

I have just come through a process during which I was afraid and trembled and trusted God. And it left me believing that being afraid is not such a bad thing. It keeps us humble, keeps us on our knees, keeps us looking upstream for the source of our strength, God Himself.

As a writer, there have been times when I've been afraid of success and all the changes it could mean. (What if this manuscript really takes off and I have to travel all over the country and beyond?) And many more times when I've been afraid of failure. (What if this manuscript stinks and never gets published?) But I have been refined in the fires of the process more than once and learned that God is trustworthy. He will accomplish His purposes for my work, and for my life, as He has promised.

So I've learned to put all my precious possessions - my family, my work, my hopes and dreams, into the middle of the torrent, on God's shoulders. He will always stand steady. The middle of the torrent is the safest place for us all to be.

# About the Author

Marcia is a pastor's wife, the mother of three daughters and a freelance writer/speaker. She has written for magazines and newspapers in the U.S. and Canada. In 2006 she was awarded the Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, _One Smooth Stone_. Her second novel, _A Tumbled Stone_ , was short-listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards. Marcia's short stories, articles and poetry have also won awards in Canada and the U.S. and been broadcast on CBC radio.

Marcia's weekly devotional column, The Spur, is published widely and distributed by e-mail (to subscribe see her web site). Her second devotional book, Focused Reflections and Abundant Rain, a devotional for writers of faith, are also available there. Marcia is a sought-after speaker for women's retreats and functions.

She lives with her family in Central Alberta, Canada where they have pastored for more than twenty years.

To contact Marcia for speaking or teaching engagements,

email vinemarc@telus.net

Web site <http://marcialeelaycock.com/>

