

Kiss Me to Spring Time

By

Suilan Lee

Copyright © 2013, **Suilan Lee**

License Notes

**Kiss Me to Spring Time** is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

One

Tonight was Stud Night at the Tarot Club.

Hot, sexy men in all shapes and sizes filled the dance floor, no shirts allowed. The dim lighting and pulsing music turned the atmosphere electric.

Soubi was over dosing on ecstasy tonight.

Hot fingers trailed his bare stomach; he closed his eyes, grinding his ass against his dance partner. He turned and wrapped his arms around the tall stranger, locking their lips together, moaning as a hot tongue explored his mouth, delving in without remorse.

Matching the pulsing dance beats, he ground his hips against the raging hard on pressing into him. Fingers dug into his long blonde hair and clenched handfuls of it as his mysterious lover took control. His head arched back, hot kisses trailed along his jaw to his neck. Soubi clung to strong wide shoulders, his fingers digging into strong muscles, sweat trailing down his back.

"You're so hot."

He shuddered at the heated whisper in his ear.

"Come with me."

Soubi allowed the taller man to wrap an arm around his waist. A wandering hand passed over his hard cock and he bit his lower lip to keep from coming. They pushed through the crowded dance floor headed to the second floor. A tight grip on his right arm pulled him out of his lover's arms when they got to the stairs.

"Where the hell do you think you're taking him?" an angry growl accompanied the question.

His lover turned to push off their assailant. His lover missed and fell on the floor.

Soubi grabbed onto the banister too keep his balance. He'd been drinking all night and he'd popped a few pills earlier.

"Who the hell are you?" Soubi asked their assailant.

The club was too dim for him to see faces.

Soubi pulled away from the possessive hold on his arm and straddled his lover on the floor. His fingers ran over the hairy chest, rock hard abs, a harsh breath escaped when his gaze fell to the unmistakable bulge. He slid his right hand down and stroked the bulge. His lover sat up, a strong arm sweeping around his hips. He grinned as his lover's hot mouth returned to bite at a sensitive spot on his neck.

"Let's go upstairs," Soubi murmured into the man's ear.

He wanted to be fucked right now. He was hornier than he could remember. His hands moved over strong arms and wrapped around wide shoulders. His body throbbed with need, clawing at him, driving him crazy. He wanted it hard, until he couldn't think.

Soubi groaned when strong arms pulled him out of his lover's arms and pushed him against the wall.

"Who the hell are you? Leave us alone, or join us. Make a choice. I need it right now," Soubi slurred with irritation.

"Shit, Soubi, you're high."

Soubi struggled against the hand on his chest. His lover reached for him only to be pushed away with a firm kick and a menacing warning.

"Get lost, it's not happening tonight," the mysterious stud said.

Soubi grinned at the new comer. He loved a good territorial fight. Heat coursing through him, a wild fire burning in his crotch, he didn't care which man won.

"Hey stud, where do you wanna do it?"

Another curse and he was swept over the man's shoulder, his hair sweeping the ground. Soubi laughed as they headed out of the club. He used the opportunity to run his hands over the man's back. His fingers trailing over strong muscles that flexed with power. He chuckled when his captor slapped his ass for his efforts. One more swipe like that and he would cum hard.

"Hey, Master," he called out once they got out of the club.

The cold temperatures stung his exposed back threatening to destroy his buzz.

"Hurry this up or I'm finishing without you."

Soubi was thrown to the snow-covered ground and he screamed in protest as his bare upper body encountered the freezing stuff.

"You bastard, you fucking idiot. Why did you do that?" Soubi moaned.

"It's the fastest way to get you sober."

The answer came in a nonchalant tone.

Soubi pushed hair out of his face and stared at the man leaning on a silver Toyota Supra. His gaze traveled over black boots, dark trousers disappearing into the boots and the heavy leather jacket zipped to the neck. He cursed when he looked up to find a familiar face.

"Ryo Asada?"

Soubi wished a hole would open under him. His ass got wet seated on the snow. He tried to stand up, but his balance was fucked. He pressed a hand to his forehead hoping to stop the world from tilting.

"How did you find me?"

"Everyone knows where to find you, Soubi. You've fucked every willing dick in the area."

"What's it to you?"

Soubi braced his palms on the snow and got to his feet. Once he was sure his legs were steady, he straightened up and pushed his hair out of his eyes again.

Ryo threw a black t-shirt into his face.

Soubi caught it by luck, sniffed at it and grimaced when Ryo's scent assaulted his senses. His erection returned in full force and he remembered why he didn't want to see Ryo Asada.

"I don't need you. Go back where you came from."

Soubi threw the t-shirt back at Ryo and started for the club. He stuck fingers into the right pocket of his tight leather pants in search of the pills he'd gotten earlier in the evening.

Ryo grabbed his arm and he dropped the pill he'd retrieved from his pocket.

"Hey," he shouted, looking at the snow covered ground hoping to see the small blue pill. Damn it, those things were expensive. "Look what you've done."

"Get in the car, Soubi." Ryo ordered, pushing him toward the passenger side. "You don't need pills for me to fuck you. If you want me to do it, you'll be sober. I don't fuck druggies."

"Then go find yourself another fuck toy."

Soubi tried to push off Ryo's relentless hold, but the man was like a freaking mountain. Soubi entered the car with an exasperated groan.

"Don't try to get out of the car. I'll knock you out, Soubi. I don't care about your pretty face."

Soubi shuddered at the warning and sat back in his seat. Ryo would punch him if Soubi tried to test his patience.

Damn it, he needed his face for the photo shoot next week. Soubi shivered as the wind swept through the open door. The t-shirt he'd rejected was thrown at his face.

Ryo slammed the passenger door closed.

Soubi wore the t-shirt with a sigh and was tying his hair back in a knot when Ryo got into the driver's seat. The car revved to life seconds later.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Ryo asked.

Soubi eyed his door handle. He didn't want questions right now. He wanted to return to the club. He still had enough money to buy more pills from Tohru. He'd just have to work harder next week to earn his rent and make the cut for the bank. He reached for the door lock but Ryo took off into the empty street curtailing his escape.

Soubi closed his eyes and leaned his head back hoping to avoid more conversation. He worked seven days a week walking the runway, doing local photo shoots and commercials. Endless jobs with fashion houses and short advertising contracts but those jobs weren't enough to stop his loneliness.

No, the loneliness found him at night, in his bed trying to sleep alone, or when he was prowling his two bedroom apartment on his days off, which he had three right now. He'd been hoping to spend them in some stranger's bed. He opened his eyes and cursed Ryo's interference.

"Why can't you leave me alone, Ryo?"

"You're killing yourself." Ryo ground out as he braked hard at a stop light. "Do you know what it was like to come back to the rumors circulating in Shimokita? Everyone knows you've been spending your time in Shibuya whoring around. I should have left you with Kaito instead of letting you get your own apartment. "

Soubi huddled against his door, his arms wrapped around his chest. He wanted warmth, but he couldn't find any.

"I don't care what everyone thinks. If you came looking for me because of that, let me off here."

"I won't let you destroy your life." Ryo spat out as he took a turn too fast, the tires screeching loudly in the night. "I care about you too much."

"Ryo, if you care about me at all, you'll leave me to the life I've chosen."

"See, that's the problem, Soubi. This life you're choosing is hurting everyone who loves you."

"They hurt me first."

Soubi cursed under his breath as he started shivering earnestly. He gritted his teeth and tried to stop the emotions being with Ryo forced on him. He shook his head and reached for the door handle. He didn't want to be near Ryo. He didn't deserve Ryo's kindness.

Ryo reached over to pull his hand from the door handle.

"If you reach for that door handle again, I'm going to break your hands. I get exhausted fighting you, Soubi."

"Then stop saving me," Soubi said. "I'm never going to change."

Ryo slammed his foot on the brakes and the car swerved hard drifting into the curb in a neat stop. Ryo switched off the engine and turned to glare at him.

"We're here. Go in," Ryo ordered.

Soubi glanced up to find Ryo had parked in front of Soubi's grandmother's house. He flinched when the light at the front door came on signaling his grandmother was awake. He snuck a glance at Ryo. Maybe he could enter the house and leave through the back door. He'd stay long enough to fool Ryo.

"I'm coming in with you," Ryo said already getting out of the car.

Ryo went around the front and came to open the passenger door.

"Get out of the car, Soubi."

Soubi refused.

"I don't want to go in there. I have my own apartment."

"Where you fuck strangers when you're not working, you need to be around family."

Ryo reached for his arm and pulled him out. Soubi stumbled as Ryo hauled him toward the front door. Ryo didn't stop until he'd pressed the doorbell.

"I hate you, Ryo Asada."

Soubi cursed as he tried to push off the hold Ryo had on him. He'd be darned if his grandmother opened the door to find him leaning on the bastard. Ryo allowed him to straighten up but didn't let go of his arm.

Ryo smiled at him just as the door swung open and a handsome man with deep black spiky hair appeared.

Soubi's legs turned to mush and he was suddenly kneeling on the wooden floor, his gaze locked on the new face. A soft moan escaped and tears stung his eyes.

"Soubi," Ryo gasped. "Rin, help me."

_Rin Kouga_.

What was he doing here?

Soubi closed his eyes, the darned tears refusing to disappear; they fell fast, betraying him. Ryo grabbed his right arm and Rin leaned closer, his familiar scent invading Soubi's space.

Soubi jerked back as his body responded with a fierce surge of passion. He fell back on his ass scrambling away from Rin.

"Don't touch me. Don't touch me!"

"Soubi, please," Rin started but Soubi held out his hand to stop him.

Soubi got to his feet and reached for a shrub to steady him. He shouldn't have gotten drunk. His senses were muddled and they couldn't be muddled at this time, not when Rin was standing on his grandmother's porch.

"Soubi," Ryo said, his tone filled with concern.

Soubi looked at Ryo.

"You did this. You brought him here, didn't you? Why would you do this to me?"

"He called me," Ryo explained in a soft tone, he raised his hands up as though dealing with a frightened animal.

Soubi wanted to scream.

"Rin got worried when he came here and found you moved out. He couldn't find you at your apartment and the rumors—

"I don't want to hear it. If you don't take me back to my apartment right now, I'm walking back to the club."

Soubi refused to look at Rin and turned to leave, tears spilling over his cheeks. He wasn't going to stay anywhere near Rin. He couldn't. He physically couldn't stay near Rin. It hurt too much.

"Soubi- _chan_ ," his grandmother's voice froze him in place.

Soubi closed his eyes in defeat.

"Come in, child. You're not going to leave without talking to me, are you? I made Miso soup. Come in and eat."

Soubi wiped his face with his left hand. He swiped away traces of the tears on his cheeks and hoped he didn't look as pathetic as he felt. He took in a deep breath and let go of the shrub. He fought for control as he turned around to face the trio watching him.

Ryo took a step closer, no doubt ready to catch him if he fell.

Soubi refused to meet Ryo's knowing gaze and instead focused on the elderly woman standing at the door. Her face lined with worry, a scarf covering her graying hair. He was always worrying her, and making her suffer when she couldn't find him. He felt guilty for causing her trouble, but lately he hadn't been able to stand the sight of her pity.

She smiled at him and he tried to return it. It took tremendous effort to keep his mouth curved into a smile. Rin stood to his left. Soubi refused to look at the handsome man and concentrated on walking toward his grandmother.

"Grandma." Soubi greeted and hugged her.

She rubbed his back and sniffed his clothes.

"You need a bath, Soubi-chan. Go on, upstairs to your room. Get a shower and change your clothes," she ordered gently, her hands gentle as she pushed him toward the stairs leading to the second floor.

Soubi never argued with her. He did as she asked grabbing on to the balustrade as he started up the stairs. He heard the front door closing and he hoped that Ryo was taking Rin away with him.

****

"I told you he was a mess."

Ryo glared at Rin when Soubi disappeared into his room upstairs. Ryo waited for Soubi's grandmother to head to the kitchen and pointed toward the living room.

Rin followed him feeling hollow. He hadn't expected to see the hatred in Soubi's eyes. He sank into a white couch and dropped his face into his hands.

"Soubi hates me."

"What did you expect? You left him without a thought. Eight years of being together, and you woke up one morning and left him alone without a word. I hope your success is worth it, Rin."

Ryo shook his head and sank into an armchair across Rin.

"I've come back for him," Rin confessed, lifting his head slowly to look at Ryo. "I want him back."

"I don't see you two happening." Ryo pointed toward the stairs. "I found him dry humping some loser at the Tarot. He is high right now, that's how he spends his free time."

"I thought he's with Aki Agency? They don't allow drugs." Rin glared. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I have a life with demands, Rin. I left on a buying trip to find merchandise for the shop three months ago it couldn't be avoided. Soubi was fine when I left. I didn't know he'd spiral."

Rin got to his feet and started pacing.

"He won't look at me, Ryo. He won't let me touch him."

"You broke him to pieces when you left," Ryo said, angry. "You chose _Blazing Red_ over him. Why didn't you take him with you?"

Rin stopped pacing and looked at Ryo.

"I couldn't force him to give up his life here. He would have sacrificed his career for me."

"So you left him to live without you. You deserve his anger, Rin. Accept it and make a decision. You'd better know I won't let you hurt him again."

Rin stared at Ryo in surprise, his eyes narrowed.

Ryo could take Soubi away from him. Old jealousy filled his head. He understood Ryo and Soubi had a deep connection. He knew that, still he couldn't take the idea of Ryo having Soubi.

"I want him back," Rin said firmly. "I'll do what it takes."

"You'll need to leave in a month. You're going on tour, right? What happens then? You spent two years away, not calling, not asking how he was doing. You come back and you want him back for a month. What do you think will happen when you leave again?"

Rin cursed under his breath and rubbed his brow.

Damn it, he couldn't let his tour deter him from getting back Soubi.

Rin reached for the chain at his neck and touched the crude silver padlock still locked there. Soubi wore the key. He'd caused problems for his stylist because he refused to have the padlock cut open. His band manager had ordered him to have it removed, but Rin insisted on keeping it.

"I'll face that problem when it comes." Rin declared turning to look at Ryo. "For now, will you help me with him? We can't have him keeping up this lifestyle. He'll be dead in under a year."

"Shut it, Rin." Ryo gave him a mean look and got to his feet. "I never want to hear you ask me to take care of Soubi. I'm not doing this for you. I'm going upstairs to make sure he's alright. It will be nice if you're not here when I get back."

***

Two

Soubi woke to a pounding head. His brain threatening to split open. He kept his eyes closed tight as he tried to remember where he was. He shifted slightly and his arm pressed into a body.

_Great, someone else's bed_ , he sighed.

Soubi had to get out before his latest lover woke up. It was always better if he left before they woke up, less embarrassment.

Soubi sat up slowly mindful of his splitting headache. His hand pressed to his forehead, he cursed all the drinks he'd had last night. However many they'd been, he was paying for it this morning. His long blonde hair stuck to his face. He pushed it back impatiently.

Soubi let out a steadying breath and risked a glance at his surroundings. If he could only find his clothes—

He looked into a mirror right across the room and his eyes widened when he saw the man lying next to him. Dark hair in a mess on the pillows, a black eagle tattooed on his back, Soubi gasped.

Ryo Asada.

What had he done!

Nausea rose with a vengeance and he tossed the sheets away. He was naked. His gaze flew back to Ryo's naked back and he groaned. There would be no escaping this one.

Soubi stumbled into the bathroom and managed to reach the toilet bowl in time. He gave up whatever contents he had in his stomach to the porcelain god. Once it was over, he flushed and moved to the sink to rinse his mouth. He leaned on the sink counter, his head bowed down as he tried to recall having sex with Ryo.

His body felt untouched. No aches, his ass would be hurting after taking Ryo. The man had a monster for a dick. Unless he'd been too high...heart pounding, Soubi looked up to stare into the mirror over the sink.

How could he have done this with Ryo of all people? How had he even met Ryo? The man was supposed to be out of the city.

"Are you alright?" a sleepy Ryo inquired from the door.

Soubi gasped guiltily. If it was possible to die of embarrassment, he figured this moment would be it. He tried not to meet Ryo's inquiring gaze.

"Don't look so guilty, Soubi. I think I've seen everything. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Soubi shook his head at that comment and reached into the shower stall to turn on water. Maybe if he stood under the water long enough, it would wash away the dirty feeling creeping over him.

"I'll be out of your apartment the moment I shower," he mumbled, as he waited for the water to heat.

"You need to get sober."

Ryo leaned on the doorjamb looking like a god in dark slacks and bare feet. His dark hair was disheveled made him look like a bad boy.

Soubi frowned.

"You're at home. Grandma is downstairs making coffee."

"You brought me back to Grandma's!"

Dear hell take him now, Soubi clung to the glass door and tried to remain standing. The thought of screaming out his release with Grandma a few doors down—

He really was going to have a heart attack.

Ryo burst into a wild laugh. Obviously this situation was making him happy in some way.

Soubi felt like shit, all he wanted was to dig a hole and drop into it head first. There was no privacy in this house, any moan—

"Why here?" he demanded of the handsome laughing man at the door. "How could you bring me back to Grandma's? We could have gone to my apartment or even—

"Nothing happened," Ryo assured him. His sleepy eyes twinkling with mirth, Ryo shook his head. "You're so easy, Soubi. I told you. When I take you, you'll have no doubts."

Soubi glared at him. Obviously, Ryo was taking pleasure from this. He swore under his breath and entered the shower with a dangerous slam on the glass door. The hot spray of water on his face sobered him enough to know he needed to get out of here before he lost his mind. He ducked his head under the water and soaked his hair. He grabbed a bottle of grape shampoo and dumped a generous amount on top of his head. He started scrubbing with vigor.

The last thing he remembered from last night was walking into the Tarot with the intention of a few drinks. He sighed. A few drinks had obviously turned into a crate or something. The blank gap in his memories also indicated that he'd probably been high.

Soubi winced as he pulled at a strand of hair. Ryo was going to be giving him a lecture the moment he got dressed. Just what he needed, and in his grandmother's house!

He shuddered.

Soubi took longer in the shower hoping Ryo would leave him alone. When he got out, a towel wrapped around his waist, he entered the bedroom to find Ryo reclined on the bed sipping coffee. His hair was wet, obviously he'd used the guest bathroom and changed into a green t-shirt and dark slacks.

"You always did take forever in the shower." Ryo noted his gaze on the television screen over the dresser across the bed. "Grandma wants to talk to you. Hurry up and dress."

"Would you leave?" Soubi asked, glaring at him.

Ryo spared him a glance before he nodded to the wide window on the other side of the room.

"Don't think I have forgotten the escape ladder you use to leave this house. Change, I don't see the problem."

Soubi scowled at him as he tied a towel on his head. His hair needed a dryer but he wanted to leave. A quick rub with a towel would soak the water but his hair would be damp. He walked into the closet that was still filled with his clothes. He hadn't felt like packing up three months ago, so he'd only taken the essentials. He reached for a navy blue polo, a thick black sweater and a pair of black jeans. Once he was dressed, he grabbed up dark socks from his underwear drawer and left the closet.

Ryo was still sipping coffee from his mug.

Soubi scowled at him then sat at the foot of the bed.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"It's Sunday. I have all the time in the world."

"Go spend it elsewhere, I don't need a babysitter." Soubi pulled on his socks.

When he was done with his socks, he reached up to rub his hair with the damp towel again before he threw it at the hamper in the corner. It missed the mark by a few inches. His hair tumbled down his back in a mess of damp strands.

"Ryo—

"We need to talk." Ryo cut in. "First, you need to get downstairs. Grandma made breakfast. Make nice with her, she misses you."

"Why is it always like this with you?" Soubi sighed in frustration.

He loved his grandmother more than anyone in this world. Yet, he couldn't stop from being the reason why she hurt so much. Always worrying her...

"You shouldn't have brought me here."

"Where else would you have gone?" Ryo asked.

Soubi felt the bed shift as Ryo got off. Footsteps and then Ryo was standing before him. Fingers combed through his damp hair.

"Come on, let's go downstairs," Ryo urged in a gentle tone.

Soubi followed Ryo because he didn't know what else to do. There was a dull throb in his head; obviously his hangover wasn't gone yet. The blank space in his memory was bothering him. He wanted to ask how he'd ended up in the bed with Ryo, but he was afraid of the answers.

Downstairs, they found his grandmother humming cheerfully as she rinsed dishes at the sink. When she saw Soubi, she abandoned the dishes and came to give him a warm hug. She clung to him tight, rubbing his back, she kissed his jaw and led him to a chair at the kitchen table.

"Ryo, sit down too, have something to eat." She urged.

Soubi drank in the sight of his grandmother bustling around the kitchen as she got him a cup of coffee and placed a plate full of freshly baked cookies on the table. He didn't have the heart to tell her that his stomach was probably going to reject them.

He sipped his coffee and watched Ryo take a cookie. His gaze sliding over full lips when the tip of Ryo's tongue swept out to capture crumbs in the corner of his mouth. He closed his eyes and forced his attention away from Ryo.

His grandmother finished at the sink and wiped her hands on a towel.

"I'm going to visit my next door neighbor. She invited me over yesterday for a game of mahjong. If you need anything call me, alright?"

Soubi plastered on a wide smile. He waved his grandmother off with a promise to call her if they needed anything. Not that he would, she liked playing mahjong with her friend.

He waited until she was gone to get up from the kitchen table. He carried his mug of coffee to the sink. He didn't want coffee; he didn't want anything in his stomach. He put the cup in the sink and turned to stare at Ryo.

"How did you find me last night?"

"Your neighbor told me where you'd gone." Ryo took another cookie. "You're taking risks, Soubi. We need to get you to a clinic for a checkup."

Soubi sighed, an impatient sound.

"Don't start with that right now."

"I can't help it." Ryo sat back in his seat, his dark eyes glaring at him. "You're the one drifting from one bed to the next. Don't you care if you live or die?"

"What does it matter?"

Soubi's gaze slid away from Ryo's probing gaze as he tried to fight the fear that followed this conversation. He took a test at the clinic every week. The staff was starting to know his name. This homey kitchen was starting to make his skin crawl.

"I don't belong here."

Ryo slammed a fist on the kitchen table startling him.

"Don't talk like that. The next time you do, Soubi, I swear I'm walking you into a rehab clinic."

"If you don't like how I talk, the door is open, Ryo. No one is forcing you to be here."

"Are you going to stay with Grandma?"

"No."

Soubi closed his eyes. He couldn't stay here. He wasn't fit to play the good grandson, that boy didn't exist anymore.

"As soon as my head stops pounding, I'm going to my apartment. I moved out for a reason, Ryo."

"Did you do it to run away?"

"It's none of your business."

"It certainly is when I'm the first person your grandmother calls when she can't find you. Rin might—

"You know not to mention that name to me." Soubi cut him off with a cold voice.

_Rin Kouga_.

His heart stuttered, a soft fluctuation, nothing big. It had been an insignificant thing then, the way his heart couldn't seem to let go of Rin. Now, it was like a knife stabbing through his chest a million times. Over and over in the same place, torture meant to remind him that his love for Rin was the biggest mistake he'd ever made.

"Fine," Ryo grinned at him. "Since Grandma is playing Mahjong, wanna go do it? You promised me a romp last night."

Soubi gaped. Had he really done that last night? He could have, after all they'd woken up in the same bed. Ryo studied his wide eyes with amusement.

"What are you talking about?" Soubi demanded.

Ryo shook his head.

"I offered to torture you until you can't stand it. I've offered to be your punching bag if it will help you stop hurting yourself. So, I can also play your lover if it will stop you fucking around."

"Is that your idea of a pep talk?" a new voice said from the kitchen door.

Soubi almost dropped to his knees at the sight of Rin Kouga. His brain remembered a fuzzy similar reaction, he frowned.

"What are you doing here?" Soubi gasped.

"I see the reception still hasn't changed." Rin sighed and stepped into the kitchen. "I'd hoped Ryo would have told you about me already. Last night you were too high to react right."

Soubi felt like he was suffocating. There wasn't enough air in the room. He gripped the edge of the counter. _Rin Kouga_. His heart fluttered again, that familiar tag. So painful, so utterly overwhelming, he bit his lip in a moan. The strength to fight it flying out the open window behind him, he was powerless.

Rin smiled and came around to where he stood.

"Hi, Soubi, miss me?"

Soubi closed his eyes against the sight of the extremely handsome man smiling at him. His heart beating in rapid beats he was sure he was having a heart attack. There was nowhere to escape behind him, the sink counter held him prisoner as Rin came closer and kissed his forehead. Defenses he'd built for years broke down and he clung to the stone sink hoping to fight off the desire that flooded him. Even after all these years, one touch from Rin reduced him to this.

_I'm a slave to Rin Kouga,_ Soubi thought desperately, as Rin's lips found his in a heated kiss.

***

Three

Like ice must melt under the heat, Soubi melted against Rin's assault.

This was an assault, Ryo thought, because Rin knew, _he knew_ that Soubi couldn't fight him. Ryo sat at the kitchen table frozen.

How many times had he watched this happen?

Five years ago, Rin auditioned for his band, _Blazing Red._ He promised Soubi nothing would change. But, a year later as the band gained popularity, Ryo sat in this same chair watching Soubi cry because Rin was cheating on him with the band's lead singer. Their friends had taken photos of Rin and Lira, the blonde-haired female lead singer, locking lips backstage.

Soubi had cried like the world was ending.

_See that was Soubi's problem_ , Ryo thought severely.

Soubi loved like there was no tomorrow, giving everything to Rin and keeping nothing for himself. That's why it hurt so darned much when Rin broke him. Ryo cursed under his breath. Rin had apologized that time saying that nothing was happening. That he'd kissed Lira for the sake of appearances.

_Appearances_ , Ryo shook his head.

No wonder Soubi was fucking around, he didn't know what it was to be loved.

Rin didn't love Soubi. He used Soubi like a welcome mat.

Fingers clenched, Ryo turned to look at the pair leaning against the kitchen counter. Rin was really trying to make a point. His fingers were buried in Soubi's glorious hair, bunched tight to keep control, his lips moving over Soubi's, dominating him. Soubi whimpered, his hands coming up to cling on to Rin's jacket.

Those fingers, Ryo stared, so slender, clenching Rin's jacket.

His thoughts returned to two years ago, the day Rin left with _Blazing Red_ to go abroad. Ryo found Soubi huddled in the bathroom at their apartment. Tear streaks on his face as he clung to the key he always wore around his neck. The key to that darned padlock hanging on Rin's neck, Ryo wished he could break it with his hands. Throw it into a deep hole and free Soubi.

Ryo stood up, his chair tumbling over.

"Stop it, Rin."

Rin kept kissing Soubi.

"I said fucking let him go, Rin!"

Rin pulled back slowly, brushing a soft kiss on Soubi's lips. He kept his gaze on Soubi.

"What's wrong, Ryo? Are you jealous? I thought you didn't care—

"I care enough. Let him go, he's mine."

"That's where you're wrong." Rin turned to smile at him and as he stepped back, Soubi seemed to crumble to the floor, his head bent low. "You just wish he was yours—

Ryo's fist connected with Rin's damn face in a quest to wipe that smirk off. Rin stumbled back and had to hold on to the kitchen table to keep from falling. Ryo breathed out rage, and bent down to grab Soubi's arm. He pulled Soubi up and behind him.

"I'm taking Soubi with me. I swear, Rin, if I see you around him we're going to have a problem." Ryo glared at the guitar player feeling murderous. "This is no small threat."

"Ryo, you're making a mistake. Soubi needs me. He'll come back to me." Rin pulled at the padlock at his neck. "I own him."

"Not anymore." Ryo spat back. "You get near him. I will not forgive you, Kouga."

"Stop," Soubi murmured from behind Ryo, his voice low, like a lost child.

"Shut up, Soubi," Ryo snapped.

He turned to find Rin wiping off blood from the corner of his mouth. Ryo pushed Soubi toward the door pausing only to right the chair he'd overturned.

"Leave before Grandma gets back, Rin. I'll call to tell her where we're headed."

"You're really taking Soubi?" Rin chuckled. "Isn't that a tad childish? Keeping him away from me like this."

"I thought about it all night, and I've decided the best solution is to keep you two apart."

Ryo's gaze found Soubi's stricken look and sighed when he saw Soubi clinging to that darned key again. He controlled the urge to pull it off Soubi's neck and throw it at Rin.

"We're going to Shimokita."

"What, you won't take him home to your dad?" Rin spat after him.

Ryo clenched his jaw not ready to think about what his mother was going to say about Soubi in his house. It didn't matter. He couldn't sit back and watch anymore.

"They'll disown you this time, Ryo." Rin continued following them as Ryo hustled Soubi to the front door. "Your father won't stand for a fag in his family. You know that. Give me Soubi, we're both orphans, no parents to bother—

"Fuck off, Rin." Ryo cursed and threw the door open. Soubi wrapped his arms around his chest. Soubi's eyes were stricken as he turned to protest Ryo's guidance. Ryo urged him to keep moving, as he told Rin.

"I live my own life."

"No, you're interfering with someone else's relationship. Go find your own fuck toy." Rin shouted into the bright morning.

Rin obviously didn't care that the neighbors would be interested in their fight.

Damn it that was what he got for fighting with this drama queen.

Ryo hurried Soubi to his car, pulling the passenger door open and helping Soubi in.

"You're such a hypocrite, Ryo Asada. You act like you're the Asada golden boy, all honor and shit, but deep inside you're a bastard. You're a selfish bastard just like your fucking rich family. Soubi, he's going to eat you alive then spit you out. His family will humiliate you. You won't be able to walk around Tokyo with your head up."

Soubi buried his face into his hands and Ryo cursed under his breath as he slammed the passenger door closed. He glared at Rin who stood at the door watching them.

"Go back to _Blazing Red_ , Rin. We don't need you anymore."

Ryo got in the car and drove off headed to the highway.

He was going to keep Soubi.

"What are you doing?" Soubi asked in a whisper beside him. "Drop me off at my apartment. I'll just stay there—

"I'm not letting you go," Ryo snapped, angry with how defeated Soubi sounded. He'd worked hard to get Soubi back to normal these past two years. How dare Rin walk in and undo his work. "You're stuck with me."

"I don't need you, Ryo." Soubi sighed. "I'm tired of owing you."

"Well, if you feel so indebted to me, then do what I tell you."

Ryo geared the car and settled in for the thirty minute drive to Shimokitazawa. He hadn't slept much and the months of touring around the country sourcing for merchandise had worn him out.

"Did you mean it?" Soubi asked after a while.

Ryo frowned sliding his gaze from the road in front of him to look at Soubi. Soubi pushed his hair back and met his gaze.

"You said I was yours."

Ryo broke their gaze and laughed silently. He didn't know what he'd meant by that, he cared for Soubi, but it was too soon to make any declarations.

Soubi needed time to find himself without the shadow of Rin Kouga haunting him. He certainly didn't need declarations that would only add to the problem.

Ryo chose to tease Soubi in answer.

"Through all that mess, is that all you got?"

"You punched Rin. That was hard to miss. He's going to get a bruise."

"He'll live." Ryo couldn't help the angry tone.

Rin pissed the hell out of him. He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He jerked his head in surprise when cool slender fingers rested on his. He turned to find Soubi watching him.

"Don't be angry anymore, Ryo. I'll stay with you."

Ryo sighed and moved his left hand to twine his fingers with Soubi's. He couldn't help wishing that Soubi was coming with him to be his boyfriend.

***

Soubi pulled at the key hanging on his neck. He couldn't escape the feel of Rin's lips against his. He'd dreamed of them these past two years. Thought about how he'd react when Rin returned. He imagined having stinging words for Rin, maybe shouting at him until he felt better. He hoped Rin would find him doing great: owning his own place, richer, always richer, money was important to Rin. Rin left with _Blazing Red_ to earn a bigger pay day.

He'd been abandoned for money.

Soubi took in a deep breath and let it out slowly controlling his threatening tears. He stared at the strong fingers holding his on his lap.

_Ryo Asada_.

The dark knight who seemed to know exactly what he needed at all times. The day Rin left, he'd fallen apart in the bathroom unable to move, even to save himself. He had no idea how Ryo found out. All he knew was that Ryo showed up and picked up the pieces Rin left in the bathroom.

"I want to stop at the shop for a moment. Do you want to walk in with me? Kaito is there, he'll be glad to see you."

The car slowed down to a stop and Soubi glanced up to find they were driving into Shimokitazawa.

Ryo pulled into a parking lot, turned off the car and smiled at him.

"Kaito's been watching your runway shows."

Soubi grinned as they got out of the car.

Ryo owned an art shop in Shimokita. He and his business partner Kaito drew cool funky designs and put them on clothing, backpacks, cutlery, or anything the client wanted. They'd called their shop, _Furiroda._ Ryo had once told him they named it that way because of their initial relationship in college. Kaito had lived in Ryo's apartment like a freeloader. Soubi liked Kaito. He was carefree and artistic.

The shop was already open when they got there. Music drifted out on to the street, with a few customers going through the clothing racks right outside. Kaito sat on a lounge chair by the door smoking. He jumped to his feet when he saw them.

"Soubi- _chan_ ," Kaito exclaimed. He came running and almost toppled Soubi to the ground as he hugged him hard. "I can't believe it's you."

"Kai," Soubi groaned as he reached out to hold on to a rack holding coats. It was hard to imagine the man was three years his senior. At twenty-five, Kaito Suguru acted like he was fresh out of high school. "Let me go, Kai."

"No way."

Kaito clung tighter, his arms tightening around Soubi. It should have been constricting, but it felt as though Kaito was trying to infuse him with energy.

Soubi held on to Kaito and looked up to find Ryo watching them. Ryo turned then and walked into the shop without saying another word.

"You're skinnier." Kaito complained as he stepped back, his right hand taking Soubi's left. He took a last pull on his cigarette then dropped the butt to the tarmac and crushed it. "You're not taking care of yourself."

"I'm not eating anything you make, Kai. I learned my lesson the last time you tried to make ramen." Soubi shuddered dramatically.

Kai laughed and led him into the shop.

"You've learned some comedy skills, Soubi-chan."

Kaito ran a hand through his black shaggy hair. He was in baggy black pants and a green t-shirt with the _Furiroda_ logo on the back. His clogs rapped against the wooden floor as he led Soubi to the back of the shop.

"I have an espresso machine. Do you want me to make you a coffee?"

"That sounds great."

A lounge dominated the back of the shop. Mismatched couches littered the large room, in the middle a large worktable that was loaded with drawing tools. At the farthest corner, the machines they used for printing claimed that space. Kaito pushed him toward a fluffy blue couch and headed to a coffee area near the back door.

"Where have you been, Soubi? You didn't come to see me the whole time Ryo was away." Kai complained as he went about making him a coffee. "I saw your two shows last week on fashion weekly. I'd have come to support you, had you asked."

"I've been busy." Soubi sat on the couch and tried not to sound guilty.

It had been hard to stay away from _Furiroda,_ but he'd been determined to show Ryo he could make it alone. Soubi could almost cry at how big a failure that turned out to be. He reached for a notepad on the stool beside the couch. It had a cute drawing of a young girl dressed in a red kimono.

"We did that for a kindergarten school a month ago," Kaito explained. "Are you hungry?"

"No." Soubi put back the notepad as the reasons why he loved Ryo's shop came back. Kaito could spoil anyone rotten. "I'll just take the coffee."

"Where are you staying? I'll come visit you," Kaito continued, glancing at him as he found a mug for Soubi.

"He's staying with us," Ryo answered, as he came in carrying a box of manga magazines, which he placed on the work table.

Kaito stopped what he was doing to stare at both of them. He raised his brow and Soubi almost dropped on the floor at his next question.

"Are you two fucking already? Why am I always the last to know?"

"Kaito, behave yourself." Ryo shook his head adding packing bags and stickers into his box. "Soubi was just kissing some jerk this morning. Do you think he'd do that if we were together? I kidnapped him from his grandmother's house."

"Kidnapped," Kaito laughed. "You're such a caveman, Ryo. Stop doing things that piss Ryo off, Soubi."

"Who asked him to do it?" Soubi asked, getting up to go get the coffee. He didn't want to talk about the jerk he'd been kissing, or him living with Ryo. "Besides, my moving here isn't fully decided. I still have an apartment in—

"You're moving in to my house." Ryo glared at him and Soubi sighed. "Kaito and I will move your stuff tomorrow before you go to your photo shoot. There is no more discussion about this."

There was no fighting with Ryo when he got this way. It didn't help that Soubi's heart did a little happy skip at the thought of moving in with Ryo. He wouldn't be alone anymore. He looked away from Ryo afraid the man would see his happiness.

Kaito handed him his coffee giving him an excuse to turn away from Ryo's probing gaze.

"Alright, enough about sticky topics," Kaito said. "Soubi, do you want to help me sell? We'll leave the grouch to his thoughts.

Kaito kept him pretty busy after that. The upbeat atmosphere in the shop created a time warp. Time seemed to stand still as he tended to customers, laughed at Kaito's antics when they were alone. Ryo moved in and out of the main shop, he even stopped to help Soubi pack goods for a demanding customer. It was a surprise when Kaito suddenly started closing the shop down for the night.

"Push this rack to the back for me, and I'll close the doors."

Soubi did as he was asked pushing the rack of jackets into the lounge. He found Ryo seated at the worktable hard at work. He was drawing for the manga series they ran for the art shop. Soubi moved quietly, stopping right behind Ryo to watch him work.

The pen in Ryo's hand moved in fast elegant strokes. Soubi stared fascinated at the artwork on the page. A man riding a horse in what appeared to be a forest, his long hair blown back by the wind, the black stallion was magnificent. He had a gold sword hanging at his hip, his red robes...

"If you lean any closer, I'll have trouble drawing, Soubi," Ryo said.

Soubi gasped, turning to meet amused dark eyes. Ryo moved his pen away from the paper and Soubi jerked back in confusion. He hadn't meant to intrude.

"I'm sorry. It looked so...the art—,"

Soubi cleared his throat and took another step back.

"Kai closed the store."

Ryo stretched his arms above his head and yawned.

"It's closing time, already?" Ryo stood and grinned at him. "I'm starving. You want to eat ramen?"

Soubi smiled. "As long as Kai is not cooking, I could eat."

"Let's go home." Ryo stretched again and started for the door. "I'll make the ramen."

Soubi savored the warmth that filled him with that statement. He didn't know how long it would last, but for now—

"Are you coming?" Ryo called from the door. "Kai is threatening to lock us in here."

Soubi hurried after Ryo. He'd hold on to this warm happiness for now.

****

Four

"Stay still, Soubi. The shot has to be right."

Soubi closed his eyes and breathed out trying to keep still in the awkward position. His head was braced against another model's stomach, his body curved back over the same model's shoulder, with his legs braced against the wall. Every part of his body was painted gold. His hair filled with sparkling glitter blew under his head, hitting against the strong muscled model holding him around his waist. His right hand lay flat on a chiseled flat stomach. His left arm swung down into his hair.

The photographer came to kneel before Soubi, his face upside down, the black high def camera covering most of the photographer's face.

The things he did for a buck. Soubi sighed.

"Stay still, Soubi- _chan_."

Soubi was going mad listening to that phrase. He forced his attention inward, keeping his eyes closed as he thought about the past two weeks living with Ryo. They'd settled into a strange routine.

Soubi woke up earlier than Ryo. Thanks to too many years of having morning calls, even when he lived with Rin, he could never sleep past six o'clock in the morning. He made breakfast for Ryo and Kaito. Ryo usually came down first and wasn't very talkative in the morning. Ryo ate silently, always thanked him when he was done eating and helped with cleanup. Ryo headed out to the store, while Soubi dressed and got ready for his assignments.

Soubi was starting to hate the grueling schedule he'd preferred before he lived with Ryo. It kept him away from the house and the store longer. His last day off was a week ago and he'd spent it with Kaito playing videogames at the back of the store.

As for Ryo, Soubi caught glimpses of him late at night. Once when Ryo had been coming out of the common bath a towel tied low on his hips. That darned tattoo rippling on his back as he rubbed dry his dark hair. Ryo looked sexy clothed, he was mouthwatering naked. The dreams had started after that sight. Erotic scenes that featured Ryo taking him until he screamed in ecstasy plagued Soubi's dreams. His subconscious was lusting after the man like a starving idiot. He still wasn't over the morning he'd woken up coming into his sheets.

When he was conscious, Soubi forced himself to remember that Ryo was an Asada. There could never be anything between them. The difference between their classes could never be shortened. Sei Asada would fight to keep them apart.

Soubi didn't think he could take abandonment from another person. He'd barely survived Rin Kouga.

A hand closed over his cock and he bit his lip as he realized he was hard.

_Damn it!_ That hand held his cock too tight, his partner was taking advantage of him. The thick arm over his waist kept everyone else from seeing what was going on.

"Great shot," the photographer called. "We're done. Go ahead and put him down Hiro."

"I'll carry him to the dressing room." Hiro started to leave the room.

"No." Soubi almost yelled trying his best to squirm out of Hiro's strong arms.

He was naked and the moment Hiro got into a relatively private place he was going to try something.

"I need to get—

"You don't want everyone here to see you're getting aroused from me touching you," Hiro whispered meanly into Soubi's ear as he walked with purpose out of the main studio.

Soubi felt his heart slam against his chest when Hiro entered the dressing room. The door closed with a snap that had him struggling against Hiro's tight grip.

Hiro dropped him on the only couch in the room and Soubi scrambled away hoping to get some distance between them. His erection long gone, he cried out in panic when Hiro gripped his ankle and pulled him back on to the couch hard. Hiro used his considerable strength, hard fingers dug into Soubi's wrists as they were slammed against the couch arm. Hiro pulled his arms tightly together, pressing his wrists painfully as he held them in one hand over Soubi's head. Soubi felt tears sting the back of his eyes when Hiro took his lips in a hard kiss. Hiro reached for his cock with his free hand. Soubi twisted to his side to escape Hiro's touch. The harder he fought, the more painful the grip on his wrists became. Hiro's weight on him was suffocating and the awful slobbered kisses on his mouth kept him from screaming out.

A knock on the door saved him. Hiro stood up quickly and reached for a towel on the floor just as the door swung open. Tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, Soubi scrambled to his feet, grabbed his bag from the high back chair and clutched it against his chest.

"Soubi-chan, here's your envelope. Thank you for your hard work." A short lady came in holding out his pay. "You looked fabulous out there."

Soubi grabbed the envelope and hurried out of the room. He was grateful the restrooms were just down the hall. He locked himself in a stall and collapsed against the wall shaking. It had happened so quickly he couldn't believe he'd almost been raped. If the door had been locked—

He cut off that thought and pulled on his jeans, t-shirt and sweater. Tears spilling down his cheeks, he forced his hair into a messy ponytail. He dug out a rubber band from his bag and tied his hair. A hysterical sob escaped as he wore socks and then his boots. The restroom door swung open and he bit his lip to stop his sobs. Wiping his eyes, he stared at the palms of his hands and the gold powder. He cursed under his breath and picked up his bag.

Soubi waited for the unknown person to enter a stall before he came out. He washed his face vigorously at the sink, wiping at the makeup on his face. There was nothing he could do about his hair right now. He pulled out paper towels from the holder and dried his face. Damn that stupid Hiro. He rushed out of the bathroom hoping he wouldn't run into the bastard. He ran down five flights of stairs to the ground floor and didn't stop until he was outside on the noisy streets of Ginza.

The train ride back to Shimokita was uneventful. People stared at his glowing hair, and pointed, but he didn't care. He was used to that kind of treatment. His thoughts were centered on that bastard Hiro and what he'd tried to do to him.

What the hell did he have on him that attracted pricks?

Soubi scoffed under his breath. What did he expect after the way he'd been living lately? Hiro had probably thought he'd want it. Wasn't that what he deserved?

Ryo had taken him to a clinic the Monday after he moved into the house. The results had turned out clean, but they'd been received with a stern lecture on taking care of his life.

' _Stop screwing around, Soubi. If I hear you've done it, I'm going to give you a serious beating.'_

Soubi couldn't tell Ryo about this. He stared at his wrists. A red bruise had appeared on his left wrist. He wiped at it hoping it was makeup. When it didn't come off, he sighed. Great, he needed to come up with a story for the reddening bruise. Ryo was going to ask the moment he saw the bruise.

Soubi got off at his stop and walked slowly toward Ryo's house. He was deciding on an excuse when someone jumped on him. He screamed in surprise.

"Jeez, sorry," Kaito said, shocked by his reaction. "It's getting really hard to surprise you."

"Kaito," he gasped, turning to find the older man standing behind him. "It's you."

"Did you think you were being mugged?" Kaito frowned and placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong with your face? Did someone touch you?"

"No, I'm alright." Soubi waved him off and gasped when Kaito grabbed his left arm to stare at the bruise on his wrist. His eyes widened when Kaito's frown turned to anger.

"Who did this?" Kaito looked around as if trying to find his assailant.

"It's nothing, Kai." He pulled his hand away quickly. "Come on, let's go home. I feel like eating ramen."

Kai didn't move, his gaze narrowed. Soubi wondered what he saw. He didn't have to wait long. A hand cupped his jaw and suddenly Kaito was looking into his eyes.

"You were crying. What happened? Don't lie to me."

Soubi shuddered under the inquisition, closing his eyes, he tried to step back but Kaito took a step forward.

"Start talking, Soubi."

"It was silly." He muttered. "Some idiot at the photo shoot got the jump on me. I fought him off."

"What did he try to do?" Kaito demanded. "Quit."

"That's my job, Kai. I have scheduled shoots tomorrow and a runway show the next day."

"Quit or I tell Ryo," Kaito warned with a hard tone. "You either quit or tell me the name of this jerk. Which is it, Soubi?"

Soubi sighed.

"I'm not going to be kept in your house. I'll quit when I find something else to do."

"When will that be?" Kaito demanded. "I'll hire you. Work at the store with me. Ryo is always drawing in the back. We could use you in the front."

"Kaito—

"It's decided." Kaito wrapped an arm around his shoulder and they started walking toward the house. "I closed shop early. The carnival is in town, I thought I'd check it out later. You're coming, right?"

Soubi tried to breath through the lump in his throat. He wasn't sure about quitting but having someone care enough to worry was nice. He swallowed hard.

"I'd love to come along."

"Do you really love modeling that much, Soubi?" Kaito asked.

Soubi had never really thought about it. He started modeling when he turned sixteen. He had long hair even then and the agency had thought it incredible. Rin had urged him to start modeling because they needed the cash to pay for rent. When Rin had started playing in the band, they'd needed the money to buy his wardrobe. When Rin had left, Soubi kept modeling to keep moving. There had been a lot of bastards like that Hiro. Some shadier than Hiro, photographers wanting lascivious favors, he'd taken it as part of the job because the money was good.

"You are staying with us now." Kaito rubbed his arm in a comforting gesture. "You don't need to pay rent; Ryo owns the house free and clear. We make descent money from the store. Think about it, alright?"

Soubi nodded. "I will. Please, don't tell Ryo about the bruise."

"As long as you don't go back there," Kaito warned with a raised brow. They'd reached the wooden gates. Kaito pushed it open and urged him in. "Now, about this ramen you promised. How thick can you make the soup? I love it when it's really thick."

Soubi laughed.

"Can I take a shower first? I need to wash this makeup out of my hair."

Kaito led the way into the house, pausing to remove his shoes before he headed into the living room.

"Fine, run along."

Soubi dumped his bag on a table in the short hallway and took the stairs to the first floor. He hurried into the bathroom, stripping quickly, he sighed in relief when he was standing under hot water washing the shoot's makeup and the feel of Hiro's mitts off him.

****

Kaito waited until he heard the shower start upstairs to reach for Soubi's bag. He rummaged through the contents with determination until he found the white envelope with Soubi's pay in it. He pulled out the check and stared in shock at the pay.

Six hundred and fifty thousand yen for the single catalog photo shoot, the little punk was loaded. He returned the envelope and sighed. No wonder Soubi was so hesitant to quit. He'd end up going for the shoots under false pretenses.

Kaito walked back to the living room and sunk into the couch. He turned on the television thinking about the best way to broach this subject with Ryo.

****

Ryo walked into the house late. His head was pounding from a day spent with lawyers dealing with his trust. His father was making adjustments again for his second wife. It didn't help that he'd had to sit through hours of listening to her begging his father for a position in the Asada Company.

Wasn't it enough that she'd taken his mother's place?

He pulled off his shoes and tried to shrug the stress away. He hated going for these meetings. He hated the dejection he read in his mother's eyes, worst of all, he hated the way his older brother treated his father for the sake of the position he was destined to take.

' _The moment he dies, Ryo, I'll kick that second wife bitch out, for the sake of our mother.'_

His brother's words made his skin crawl. His brother, Tohaku, was cruel enough to kick a woman onto the streets and leave her with nothing.

The house was quiet; he wondered whether Soubi and Kaito were still at the shop. A quick glance at his watch had him sighing. It was almost ten o'clock at night.

Where the hell were they?

In the kitchen, he found a note stuck on the dining table. Soubi's handwriting, he smiled at the sight of the cat drawn on the top of the note under his name.

We went to the carnival. Be back at ten o'clock. I made you a bento. S.

His gaze fell on the black lacquered box that had been under the note. He opened it to find a delicious salmon bento. Soubi was fast becoming his most favorite person in this house.

_Well..._ he pulled out a chair and picked up the chopsticks in the box. It wasn't that hard to like Soubi. It was even very easy to fall in love with him. The problem was trying to get through that maze of triggers that Soubi hardwired into his brain. One move and things could go wrong, very wrong.

Ryo started the coffee maker before he sat down and pulled off his jacket ready for some food. He ate his dinner quietly. He was enjoying the taste of an egg roll when the back door opened and Soubi dragged a drunken Kaito into the kitchen.

Soubi dropped a shopping bag full of toys on the table and helped Kaito into a chair.

"Hi, Ryo," Soubi said with a wide smile, his color high, "this guy is very heavy."

"What happened?" Ryo asked, sitting back to watch Kaito lean on the table. His hair looked wet like he'd been dunked into water.

"He won a drinking contest." Soubi fell into a chair with a sigh.

"I won a night with a pretty lady at the carnival tomorrow." Kaito slurred with a pleased smile. "Had to fight off some guy who thought Soubi was part of the contest. Can't have him getting caught up in more—

"He's wiped out." Soubi cut in glancing at Ryo with panicked eyes.

Soubi smiled sheepishly and Ryo wondered what the younger man was hiding. He looked handsome, his hair falling around him. His t-shirt clung to his well toned slender body. A set of beaded bracelets covered his left wrist.

Soubi tugged at them nervously. "I should take Kaito to bed."

Ryo stood up and nodded to the coffee he'd started.

"Get some coffee, you look cold, Soubi. I'll take Kaito."

"Ryo," Kaito slurred happily when Ryo helped him up.

Ryo slung Kaito's left arm over his shoulders, and led him out of the kitchen to his bedroom in the back.

"You're so sensible, Ryo."

"And you're very drunk." Ryo pushed the bedroom door open and walked over to the neat bed in the middle of the room.

"I wanted to keep Soubi safe." Kaito sighed as Ryo placed him on the bed. He pulled back the covers and helped Kaito lie back on his pillows. "Ryo, help Soubi like you helped me. He needs you."

"I am helping him, Kaito." Ryo pulled the covers over his drunken friend. He turned to leave only to have Kaito reach for his arm. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

Kaito's eyes were wide awake his slurring almost absent.

"Soubi is having issues at work. I'm serious Ryo. He needs your help."

Ryo frowned. "Is that why you went out fighting?"

"He won't talk about it. I tried to make him talk, but he won't open up." Kaito sighed. "He'll talk to you, only with you."

Kaito closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Ryo sighed.

"You're such a pain, Kaito."

What was he supposed to do with half information? He left the bedroom wondering how to ask about Soubi's day. It had to be pretty bad for Kaito to worry. He walked into the kitchen to find Soubi seated at the kitchen table blowing at his hot coffee. Ryo watched him push a lock of hair behind his ear.

He sat down to finish his food, stealing glances at Soubi after every two bites.

"Will you quit doing that?" Soubi demanded when he caught him the third time. "It's making me nervous."

"Want to talk about the reasons why Kaito was drinking?"

"He's an idiot who won't listen to reason." Soubi pointed out with a raised brow. "He can't hold his liquor and loves to prove a point. Do you want me to keep going?"

"Why was he fighting?" Ryo asked, biting his lip when Soubi scowled at him. "Oh come on, there has to be a funny story about that."

"You sound like you're carrying out an inquisition." Soubi accused with flashing eyes. "It was silly really, Kaito loses his mind sometimes."

"I think your pretty face has something to do with it too." Ryo laughed when Soubi gaped at him. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah," Soubi replied with a slow smile.

Soubi picked up the bag he'd dumped on the table and pulled out a small paper. Ryo watched in fascination as Soubi undid the little package until a small wooden carving dangled in his fingers.

"I got this for you."

Ryo took the leather string from Soubi and brought it close to stare at the small perfect eagle carving hanging on the string.

"It looked like yours," Soubi explained. "I thought you'd like it."

"I do."

How typical of Soubi, he thought with a small smile. Soubi continued rummaging pulling out things from his bag and laying them out on the table. Soubi put a funny dramatic mask over his face and turned to look at him. Ryo laughed at the exaggerated eyes.

"That's definitely different. You look like those demons that dance at the festivals."

"I got it from a small vendor selling masquerade masks." Soubi pulled it off and placed it on the table. "How was your day?"

"Tiresome." Ryo shrugged. "My brother gets angrier everyday. I'm afraid he's going to do something stupid."

"Did you see your mom?" Soubi asked quietly.

"Not today, she didn't feel like seeing anyone." He always asked to see her. She always said no preferring to hide away in her house like a shunned creature. "I'm sure she's fine."

"Is she still angry with you?" Soubi looked at him with wide guilty eyes.

"She forgave me a long time ago. She has it rough living at that estate now. Things have changed a lot since I left."

Soubi frowned. "You're not going back there are you?"

"No," Ryo assured him. "My father's second wife and my mother don't get along. As a result, my father makes life harder for my mother, and my brother keeps vowing to take revenge. I hate visiting that place."

Soubi stared at him with dark eyes filled with compassion.

Ryo reached to take Soubi's left hand. His fingers wrapped around the slender wrist and the painful whimper that followed had him frowning. Soubi tried to pull his hand away but he didn't let go. Ryo pushed back the beaded bangles and gasped at the dark bruises on Soubi's wrist. Four imprints on the outside and a thumb on the inside.

"What is this?" Ryo demanded in anger. "Who dared to touch you?"

***

Five

Soubi stared at Ryo all the excuses he'd come up with disappearing. He had no idea what to tell Ryo. Dark eyes glared at him demanding an answer. He pulled at his arm hoping to stop Ryo's close inspection of the dark bruise on his wrist.

"I fell. It's nothing, Ryo. I got careless."

"Don't lie to me."

Ryo let his arm go and stood up. He went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of frozen water. He grabbed a clean kitchen cloth from the sink area and wrapped the bottle.

"I can clearly see someone grabbed you. Kaito was mumbling about problems at work. Is there something you want to tell me, Soubi?"

Soubi watched Ryo put the bottle over his wrist carefully. The cool temperature was soothing against the throbbing pain. Ryo always knew what to do.

"Just tell me," Ryo said, coming around the table to pull up a chair beside him.

Ryo turned his chair so that he sat facing Soubi.

"If I tell you, you're going to lose it and do something stupid. I need my job, Ryo."

"Not if you're getting hurt. Who did this? Was it your agent or maybe the photographer, tell me Soubi?"

Ryo's gaze was hard, determined. Soubi stared at the hard jaw, saw it clench in anger and a tick start pulsing on Ryo's handsome temple. If he didn't say anything, Ryo was going to show up at Aki Modeling Agency tomorrow.

"You have to promise you're not going to cause trouble."

"That's not possible." Ryo shook his head. "I just finished dealing with Rin Kouga. You are not going to jump headlong into more trouble on my watch."

"This is exactly why it's so hard to tell you things. Have you ever thought that I can handle it?"

Ryo pulled at the bracelets he'd pushed to Soubi's elbow to accommodate the makeshift cold compress.

"Is this what you call handling it?"

Soubi pushed his chair back and started to get up. Ryo placed his hand on Soubi's left shoulder.

"Sit, I'm sorry. Soubi, I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry, you're angry," Soubi said.

He pushed his hair back with a sigh. Picking up the cold water bottle, he righted it on the table and stared at his wrist. Through the whole carnival, he'd been thinking about the incident with Hiro. The guy was a bastard, that was obvious, but Soubi was also to blame. Acting like a slut gave him a reputation that he was easy. Obviously, Hiro had thought—, he shook his head.

"This is my fault, Ryo. I've been careless, and everyone seems to think that I'm open to anything. You saw me at the club."

"How can you say that to me?"

"You know it's true." Soubi glanced at Ryo, his eyes full of shame well aware of the rumors running among their friends.

He'd been thinking a lot about why Rin had thought they would get back together. That stupid kiss at Grandma's house had been a show of ownership.

Rin knew how many people he'd slept with in the past few years. He thought about Rin's words.

No matter whose bed you're in, Soubi, remember you belonged to me first. I own you.

"You can't protect me all your life."

"I can try," Ryo narrowed his gaze. "If you don't tell me, I'm going to drive down to your agency tomorrow. I'll use the Asada name to get what I want."

"Don't be a bastard. You're going to ruin my working life—

"I don't care. In fact, I'd be happy if you didn't have a job and had to stay here in the house all day. That way, I won't worry."

Soubi got up from his chair to put distance between them. He paced to the counter and leaned on it trying to find a way out of this.

"The incident had nothing to do with the agency. Some stupid guy I was paired with today thought he could get more from me when we were done with the shoot."

"His name, Soubi," Ryo insisted.

"You don't need his name. I won't take any more shoots with him."

Soubi rolled down his bracelets careful when he got to his wrist. He pulled them off one by one and laid them on the counter.

"I can't have you making trouble, Ryo."

"I can always find his name on my own. When those pictures come out, they'll be on some catalogue, right?" Ryo cocked his head to the right. "Why are you protecting him? Did he threaten you?"

"I'm not protecting anyone."

Soubi had no idea how to handle future shoots with Hiro, but Ryo had a tendency to get violent. Hiro might have the muscle, but Ryo had serious martial arts training and it would be a disaster if the two got into a fight.

"Make me a promise." Ryo stood and came to him at the counter.

Soubi's breath caught when Ryo braced his hands on each side of the counter effectively enclosing him against the counter. He sighed when Ryo stared at his lips. Every nerve in his body came to life. He wanted to taste Ryo's lips, feel them against his. He looked up to find Ryo watching him.

He swallowed hard.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Promise to tell me the truth and I won't go after that bastard." Ryo held his gaze. "I want to know what he did."

Soubi closed his eyes.

"I can't."

"You have to, Soubi; it's the only way I'll back off. So, tell me, and I won't go to your agency tomorrow morning."

Soubi trembled slightly as he remembered how helpless he'd felt, right before that woman had walked into the room, his wrists held tight. Ryo wouldn't' stop until he found out the truth.

"The photo shoot I did today had me naked. I was over this guy's shoulder wearing nothing but body paint. We're selling body spray. Anyway, when the shoot was done, I tried to get off the guy but he wouldn't let me go. He carried me to the dressing room. I tried to fight him off but—; I thought he was going to rape me." His voice came in a whisper. "I kept fighting him off—

Ryo cursed under his breath and Soubi glanced up into stormy dark eyes.

"I want his name."

"You just said—

"That bastard wanted to rape you?" Ryo's voice sounded strained. He pushed off the counter and ran fingers through his hair. "He's dead. I want his name. You don't need that job. Work at the shop."

"I can take care—

"Obviously, you can't." Ryo turned around glaring at him. "Soubi, look at you. I wish you could see yourself sometimes. The long hair, your eyes, the way you stand, you're so darned fragile. Of course, these bastards are going to try to take advantage of you. I'm not letting you go back to that modeling agency."

Soubi turned to the sink and grabbed the knife he'd left on the draining counter. He took bunches of his blonde hair in his hand and held the knife to it.

"I'll cut it off, Ryo. I'll cut it off so that I stop looking so darned easy. Is that what you want?"

Ryo gasped.

"Put the knife down, Soubi."

"I'll do it, Ryo. Will that make you let me go back to work? Will it?"

"Put the knife down, Soubi." Ryo held his arms out as though it would stop Soubi from going through with his threat. "Please, just put the knife down."

"This hair is what's making everyone think I'm easy. I should cut it and get a few scars. Then, I'll be scary enough for people to leave me alone, right? Rin won't want to take advantage of me. And the bastards I'm working with won't want to rape me. Isn't that what you mean? You should let me cut it."

Ryo moved fast, grabbing Soubi's right wrist. The knife fell to the ground and Ryo pulled him into a tight hug.

"I don't want you to cut your hair."

"Then what do you want me to do? Tell me, and I'll do it. I need to keep working, Ryo. It's the only thing I have left. I didn't flirt with that guy, and I certainly wasn't going to let him take me."

Ryo cursed under his breath. They rocked back and forth for a moment, and Soubi felt Ryo run fingers through his hair.

"Soubi, I love your hair."

"You do?" Soubi wrapped his arms around Ryo's waist and pressed his face into Ryo's chest. He breathed in Ryo's scent and closed his eyes. "You've never told me that."

"I loved it even more when it was black. There a lot of things I want to tell you that I haven't told you." Ryo hugged him tighter. "I love you, Soubi."

His fingers bunched Ryo's shirt at the soft declaration. His heartbeat sped into overdrive. He'd dreamed of this for so long...he'd thought about Ryo for years now. It always seemed impossible considering Ryo's obligations, the Asada family, Ryo's future.

Soubi swallowed hard and asked, "Do you mean like a brother?"

Ryo chuckled.

"The things I'm thinking about doing with you have nothing to do with brotherly love."

Soubi trembled and held on tighter.

"Are you sure? I mean you have—

Ryo leaned back, his fingers bunching in Soubi's hair; he pulled Soubi's head back gently. Soubi gasped when Ryo's lips fitted against his in a possessive kiss. He clung to Ryo's waist, his body trembling, his heart racing with excitement. Ryo's body pressed against his felt like heaven. Eyes closed, he savored the taste of their first kiss, so hot and sweet. Ryo's arms around him made him feel wanted. He didn't want the kiss to stop. Ryo ended the kiss and Soubi kept his eyes closed clinging to the heat, hoping it wouldn't disappear.

Ryo caressed his jaw and he opened his eyes to look into smiling dark ones.

"Do you really love me?" Soubi asked.

Ryo stole another quick kiss.

"I love you."

Soubi bit his lower lip. He wanted to jump up and down. Scream in excitement, hold Ryo forever, and possibly scream it out on loud speakers. His heart was threatening to burst. Instead, his voice came out in a soft whisper.

"I love you too."

Ryo laughed. They hugged again and then Ryo pulled away. He went over to the kitchen table and picked up their empty mugs.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep? Tomorrow, you and I will go down to your agency and have a talk with your agent. I promise to be on my best behavior."

Soubi blinked. "Are you still going to do this?"

"I don't think there is a choice. Your safety is important to me."

"So, you thought a kiss and telling me you love me will soften me up. Isn't that a bit stupid?"

"It's because I love you that I have to do this. I'm not letting anyone touch you, Soubi."

"Well, that's fucking great. Why don't you find a stupid sticker that says ' _don't touch Ryo's fucking property'_ and attach it to my forehead! Why do I have to do what you want?"

Soubi picked up the knife he'd dropped on the floor and threw it into the sink.

"I don't need a nanny, you idiot. And I certainly don't need you telling me you love me so that I do what you want. That's really low, Asada!"

Soubi left the kitchen with quick strides. That stupid kiss had meant so much to him. To have Ryo acting like he was some kind of puny child who needed to be cajoled. He went up the stairs fast and slammed into his room.

***

"What was that about?" Ryo stood staring after Soubi in the kitchen.

He'd almost fallen to the ground when Soubi held a knife to his hair. He needed a manual to navigate living with Soubi.

The next morning, Ryo woke up early looking forward to taking Soubi to work. He walked into the kitchen expecting Soubi to be working at the stove. Instead, Kaito stood leaning against the counter sipping his coffee. There was no breakfast on the kitchen table.

Kaito spared him a short nod before he sank into a chair.

"Is Soubi awake?"

"He's in his room working on his laptop." Kaito shrugged. "He came down got a cup of coffee and headed upstairs. He's not talking much."

Ryo frowned. "He's not going to work?"

"He is, at around ten o'clock." Kaito sipped his coffee.

Ryo got himself coffee and went about toasting two slices of bread for his breakfast.

"I talked to him last night. He told me about some asshole trying to rape him. Did he give you a name?"

"Nope, he said he had it handled." Kaito glanced at him. "Did you two have a fight last night?"

"I told him I'd only let him work with the agency if he told me that asshole's name." The toast jumped out and he reached for a jar of marmalade. Ryo spread the orange jelly generously on his toast. "He stormed off to bed."

"You must have acted like a bossy idiot." Kaito chuckled. "That explains the reason why we have to fend for ourselves this morning. I was looking forward to some eggs."

"You can always make them." Ryo took a bite of his toast.

"It's so much better when Soubi makes them."

Ryo put his toast on a plate and went to sit across Kaito.

"I told him I loved him. Things were fine until he exploded and headed upstairs."

Kaito spit out coffee. Ryo reached for the napkins on the table and held them out to Kaito.

"What did you just say?" Kaito wiped his chin, and pushed his mug to the side to wipe away the spill on the table. "You messed it up, didn't you? What did you tell him?"

"I said, I love you, we kissed and then I told him I'd go to the agency with him. He stormed off." Ryo sipped his coffee. "Oh yeah, he told me I should find a sticker that says, property of Ryo Asada and put it on his forehead. I rather like that suggestion."

Kaito burst into a laugh. "You must have screwed it up."

"I didn't screw anything up. I told him how I feel. He ran off." Ryo placed his coffee cup on the table. "Why should he be angry this morning?"

"You're an idiot." Kaito sighed.

****

Soubi shot zombies furiously. He'd been playing music through the night because his erotic dreams starring Ryo were too much. Stupid Ryo and his stupid decisions. Where did Ryo get off acting like his father? He didn't need a babysitter. A soft knock on the door interrupted his game. Soubi looked up to see Ryo enter his bedroom.

"Morning," Ryo said, stopping at the door. He looked handsome in dark trousers and a black t-shirt. Ryo needed a new color in his wardrobe. Black was great for him but seriously. "Are you going to work?"

Soubi returned his attention to the screen. "Are you still insisting on coming along?"

"Yes." Ryo came to sit on the edge of his bed. "I'll drive you in."

"I'm not going." Soubi pulled his feet under him and continued the game.

"Don't be a child about this."

Soubi could feel Ryo's gaze on him. His concentration on the game disappeared.

"What do you think will happen if we don't stop this? You won't be so lucky the next time."

"I told you to let me handle it on my own." Soubi lost the game and threw the console to the floor. He sighed and glared at Ryo. "That bastard yesterday is not the first, Ryo. There have been others, and I fought them all away on my own. I don't need you to fight my battles. You promised if I told you the truth, you'd let me deal with it."

"And you can, when it's something petty, Soubi. For now, please let me do this. I can't watch you walk out of the house knowing you might get hurt out there."

Soubi pushed off the wool hat he had on his head and Ryo gasped.

He frowned at the reaction. His hair fell around his face and he suddenly realized why Ryo was in shock. In a moment of insanity at four this morning, he dyed his hair back to its original black. Ryo moved from the bed and came to kneel by the armchair. Ryo pulled him into a hug his fingers sinking into Soubi's hair.

Unable to resist Ryo's warmth, Soubi wrapped his arms around Ryo and clung tightly. He breathed in the scent of coffee, and an underlying intoxicating woodsy scent, Ryo's cologne.

Soubi closed his eyes. "I've been up thinking all night."

"Is that why you changed your hair?" Ryo asked.

"You said you loved it black."

"I did. I do." Ryo sighed. "I didn't mean you go changing your hair."

"I wanted to." Soubi pressed a soft kiss on Ryo's shoulder. "I can't refuse you anything. I can't, Ryo. Do you understand that?"

Ryo nodded. "Fine, I won't go to your work place. But, you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"If it happens again, even an attempt, Soubi, you will tell me." Ryo's voice sounded strained.

Ryo was probably having a hard time giving him leeway with this. Soubi smiled into the strong shoulder.

"I'll tell you." He promised. "Now, about this love thing between us."

Ryo pulled away his hands resting on Soubi's shoulders.

"What about it?"

"Are you going to take me for a date or do I have to arrange that?" Soubi raised a brow at Ryo's surprised expression. "Coz, if you love me, dates should be involved."

Ryo chuckled. "I'll pick you up from work. Dress nice."

Soubi felt warmth spread through him and he leaned over to kiss Ryo, a slow, delicious kiss that left him tingling.

****

Six

Ryo was late.

Soubi adjusted his white jacket, righted his red v-neck shirt and dropped his duffel bag on the pavement. He tightened the belt on his fitted dark slacks. Maybe Ryo had forgotten about their date. He reached in to his front pocket for his cell phone.

Sliding his finger over the screen, he frowned. It was almost five o'clock in the evening.

"Soubi."

Soubi glanced up and frowned when he saw Tohru Ichi. She was one of the models at the magazine shoot earlier. He escaped her an hour ago with the excuse that he was late for an appointment. Apparently, luck wasn't on his side today.

"I thought you left already," Tohru said.

"I'm waiting for someone."

Soubi glanced along the street again hoping to see Ryo's car.

"Wanna come with?" Tohru asked, reaching out to touch his ponytail.

Soubi had gone clubbing with her a few times. She was cool to hang with, but he was clean now.

"I have lots of blue candy. Want a pack?"

He watched her reach into her huge hobo bag. She got a small brown envelope and held it out to him. It would be so easy to take it and go with her. Three weeks ago, before Ryo, he'd have taken the pills without batting an eyelash. But...he was clean now. He made a promise with Ryo.

"I'm not doing that anymore, Tohru. You shouldn't either. We're on runway tomorrow."

Tohru chuckled and moved closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. She hugged him and whispered into his ear.

"Since when are you clean? Everyone knows how you are, Soubi. Come on, stop teasing me."

Her sweet perfume made him feel sick. He grabbed onto to her black peacoat and pushed her back.

"I'm not doing that anymore. Stop messing around."

"What's gotten into you?" Tohru glared at him. "You're all high and mighty lately, Soubi."

Where the hell was Ryo?

Soubi glanced at his cell phone again. Tohru adjusted her coat, the brown envelope still in her hand. She narrowed her gaze.

"Oh, I know. You're waiting for a date. Soubi, did you meet a guy?"

Soubi frowned. He had never realized how annoying Tohru was. He had always been too high to care about what she was saying. Her dramatic make up made her face look plastic. She was too perfect.

"Go home, Tohru. Don't you want to look pretty tomorrow?"

She burst into a loud laugh. They were standing on the busy elite streets of Ginza. Her laugh attracted stares from the pedestrians walking by them. He scowled at her.

"Don't look at me like that. Three weeks ago, you were making out with a stranger at the Tarot. I don't think you even knew it was Hiro Kurose. You two were mindlessly going at it in a dark corner at the club. Is he the one you're waiting for?"

"Hiro Kurose." Soubi shuddered. No wonder that idiot had touched him with so much familiarity. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we went out together that night. You were really high; I gave you the pills myself." She shrugged a slender shoulder. "Do what you want, just don't pretend you're not one of us, Soubi. We're all under a lot of stress. It's alright if you want to blow off steam. I'll give you the pills for free if you're out of cash."

"I don't need the pills, Tohru." A car honked and he turned to the curb to see Ryo's car. He sighed in relief. "I have to go."

Soubi picked up his duffel bag. Tohru grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"I know your story, Soubi. It starts happily, but you end up a basket case in the end when they leave you. Don't think the hot guy in the car will be any different. You'll come looking for me when it's over. The pills won't be free then."

Soubi pulled his arm out of her tight grasp and rushed to Ryo's car. He dumped his bag in the backseat and slid into the passenger side. He gave Tohru a quick glance, ignoring her wave and turned to find Ryo watching him.

"Is she a friend?" Ryo asked as he geared the car.

"No."

Ryo pulled into traffic and Soubi sighed. His gaze straying to the side mirror and Tohru's slender figure standing by the curb in her peacoat and heels. She looked lost. Her parting words rang through his head and he hoped that she was wrong. Soubi turned to Ryo.

"You're late."

"I was caught up at the printers." Ryo smiled at him, a crooked apologetic smile that melted his irritation. "You look good enough to eat, Soubi-chan."

Soubi glanced at Ryo's clothing. He was in black again: t-shirt, slacks, boots and a leather jacket. The color made him look really good.

"Where are we going?" Soubi asked.

"It's a surprise."

Soubi turned on the radio and tuned to a good rock music station. Ryo gave him a smile as he settled back into his seat for the ride. By the time Ryo pulled into the Museum of Contemporary Art, he had relaxed enough to enjoy being out with Ryo.

Ryo parked the car and led the way into the large building.

"What are we doing here?" Soubi asked.

Ryo paid their entry fee and led him into an exhibition gallery lined with large wide paintings. Soubi paused in the middle of the large room enjoying the feel of being surrounded by creativity. He breathed in the cool air and looked at Ryo.

Ryo smiled and held out his hand. Soubi took it as he realized that Ryo wanted to share something important with him. They walked through the various exhibition galleries until they came to one with the name Ryosuke as the artist.

Ryo trailed behind him as they entered this gallery.

Soubi frowned at that before he continued into the room. He recognized Ryo's style at once, that elegant sweep of lines and vibrant color.

The first painting was an illustration of a mother wearing a pink _kimono_. She held a small boy in her arms while she looked down at an older boy crouched on the floor at her feet. Her face full of love with the hint of a smile, it was a happy scene. Sakura blossoms floated around her swept up by the wind. Ryo had drawn his mother in a happier time.

Soubi moved on to the next canvas to find a fun illustration of an _origami_ crane floating in a body of water. He walked on to the next and smiled. The painting was a caricature of Kaito seated outside the _Furiroda_ shop smoking with a very chubby cat sleeping on his lap.

The scenes were endless; moments in Ryo's life that had left an impression.

Soubi was awed by Ryo's talent. He paused when he came to the final three paintings. He stared at the scene of a familiar apartment. Painted as though ravaged by an earthquake. A figure huddled under a sink in the bathroom, long dark hair sweeping the floor. Soubi froze when he saw the chain and key hanging from limp fingers on the figure's knees. His gaze moved to the next painting.

Once again, the lonely figure sitting alone, dark hair sweeping to the floor, this time, a dark angel standing over the figure in a white background. A mask covered the dark angel's face, but Soubi didn't need to see the angel's face. He knew who it was in his heart.

Ryo had saved him. Hell, Ryo was still saving him even now. His heart wringing with guilt, he moved to the last painting and a gasp escaped.

The key he wore around his neck lay broken on white sand. Ryo had painted him smiling as he watched the sunrise at a beach. Soubi remembered that day clearly.

It was a few years back, Rin had been away on a short tour and Soubi ended up hanging out with Ryo at the shop. Kaito had convinced them to take a trip to the beach and they ended up staying at a hotel for the weekend. Soubi woke up early on that Sunday morning to go see the sunrise over the ocean for the first time. Ryo must have taken a picture. The painting was named S _oubi_.

Soubi didn't know why his face was suddenly wet with tears. He reached up to wipe them away before he turned to Ryo.

"What do you think?" Ryo asked.

Soubi smiled, his eyes filled with tears again. He couldn't talk. The words were lodged in his throat.

"You hate it." Ryo frowned, his shoulders slumping. "I'll have the museum take them down, I'll replace them—

"I love them," Soubi managed before Ryo destroyed the moment. He actually had a painting named after him. "You're amazing, Ryo. I'm stunned."

Ryo smiled happily. "I'm glad."

"When did you do this? How come I didn't get to see these before?" Soubi breathed in needed air and looked around the gallery. This was a great accomplishment. Ryo's work was hanging in a major gallery. "I'm so proud of you, Ryo."

Ryo came to hug him tight and kissed his jaw before pulling back.

"The three months I was away. It was hard being far from you."

Soubi turned to stare at the painting of him at the beach. The three months he'd been spiraling out of control, Ryo had been holed up somewhere painting.

"You don't see the way I really am, Ryo."

"I see you, Soubi," Ryo assured him. "You're the one who doesn't see what I see."

Tohru's comments came flooding back and Soubi sighed. He didn't know how Ryo could find beauty in someone like him.

Ryo squeezed his hand.

"You're in your head, come back to me. I think I need to feed you before you start thinking too much. The painting is yours."

"It's mine?"

"Yep, as soon as the exhibition is over," Ryo said tugging his ponytail gently.

They left the gallery and ended up at a traditional style restaurant. They ordered _yakitori_ : small pieces of chicken meat grilled and covered with soy sauce and rice wine. The night greatly improved after that. The chilled _sake_ was sweet and Soubi waved Ryo's attempts to cut him off. When it was time to go home, he got up too quickly, and the world shifted. Ryo's arm on his waist stopped his descent to the floor.

He chuckled and leaned against Ryo. "I should have listened to you."

Ryo led him out of the restaurant into the busy street.

"I'm pretty sure that doesn't ever happen."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Soubi frowned at the response. They were headed for Ryo's car and the cool evening air felt great. "I listen to you all the time. I love you."

They got to the car and Ryo opened the passenger side and helped him in. Soubi sunk his fingers into Ryo's dark hair and pulled his head down. He kissed Ryo sloppily.

"I like kissing you," he murmured against Ryo's parted lips.

"I like kissing you too." Ryo gave him one last kiss then moved away, closing the passenger door.

Soubi closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Once they were on the way back to Ryo's house, he shifted in his seat so that he could watch Ryo drive. He fell asleep and didn't wake up until the sound of a door opening woke him. He opened his eyes, surprised to find Ryo carrying him up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Hey, you're awake," Ryo said. "We'll have you in bed in no time."

"I want to be with you." Soubi protested when Ryo entered Soubi's bedroom. "Please, Ryo, this is not—

"We'll talk when you're sober."

Ryo deposited him carefully on the bed and helped him remove his jacket. Soubi rubbed his eyes and willed his brain to cooperate. He didn't want to sleep alone tonight. He needed Ryo. Damn it, he shouldn't have drunk so much. He moaned in protest when his jacket hit him on the head a few seconds later. Thinking it a joke, he grabbed it and looked at Ryo with a smile that froze on his lips.

"We had an agreement, Soubi. What are these?"

Ryo was holding up a brown envelope that looked suspiciously like the one Tohru had been giving him.

His heart slammed against his chest in panic.

"It's not mine," Soubi burst out, shaking his head. "I promise, Ryo."

"I don't know what to say to that." Ryo scoffed. "Whose jacket did I just pull off? I could swear you were wearing it. What the hell, Soubi, you can come up with a better lie."

"I'm not lying."

Soubi got up from the bed, swaying a little as the _sake_ went to his head. He pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead.

"You have to believe me. I didn't buy those pills, that woman you saw me talking to slipped them into my pocket earlier. I swear—

"I know the routine, Soubi. You deny they're yours. You give me an elaborate story of how they got into your stuff. I flush the pills. You go out and get more. We've done this before, spare me."

Ryo shook his head in disappointment.

"You promised me, Soubi."

"I'm clean." _Damn that Tohru_. "I'm not lying to you. I'll take any drug test you want. Ryo, please don't look at me like that."

"I don't know how else to look at you."

Ryo looked defeated, his gaze sad, full of betrayal.

"Ryo," Soubi sobbed taking a step closer to grab on to Ryo's leather jacket. He tugged at the lapel. "I didn't take those pills. You have to believe me."

"I don't have to believe anything. Tomorrow morning we're heading back to the clinic for a drug test. If they find any trace, Soubi, I'm checking you into a rehab centre."

His hand fell away from Ryo's jacket. He didn't have anything to prove that he was innocent. Ryo looked at him with cold dark eyes. He tried to breathe through the pain but it was too hard.

"What's going on in here?" Kaito came in rubbing his stomach lazily. "Did you two get in a fight again?"

Ryo turned away from him and held up the brown envelope.

"Soubi's using again."

Kaito's gaze met his and it was so easy to read the disappointment.

Even Kaito didn't believe him, Soubi sighed.

He couldn't live up to that person Ryo had painted in the gallery. Maybe Tohru was right.

"Soubi," Kaito said. "Where did you get the pills?"

"It doesn't matter." Soubi turned away from them swallowing the pain.

Ryo left the room without another word.

"Please tell Ryo I'm sorry for disappointing him."

"Tell me how you got the pills," Kaito insisted.

Soubi picked up the stupid white jacket and flung it at Kaito.

"I said it didn't matter. Now leave me alone, and go tell him I'm sorry. He'll listen to you."

"Soubi," Kaito stared at him.

"Leave me alone!"

Kaito slammed the door closed on his way out.

Soubi fell to the floor the tears he'd been holding back since that stupid painting at the gallery flowing out in hard sobs. He could never be that person Ryo had painted. He'd not even gotten to kiss Ryo goodnight. Wasn't that how a date worked for the good normal people?

A night out, a great dinner, and a kiss goodnight. He apparently wasn't good enough for such things. Ryo was probably going to leave him in the morning. Wait, not leave, this was Ryo's house. He was the one intruding and they were going to kick him out.

***

Seven

"Why do I bother?" Ryo cursed under his breath walking into the bathroom to flush the stupid pills.

He'd hoped Soubi changed these past few weeks. Why the hell did it matter so much to get Soubi clean?

Ryo kicked the bathroom door open and slapped the light on. He stared at the sealed brown bag, preoccupied by the staples on the envelope.

"Calm down and go back to Soubi." Kaito came to stand beside him. "You're going to push him to the edge."

"This envelope proves I can't trust him. How could he do this? Why is ecstasy more important? I found him talking to that woman. He looked upset when he got in the car. I thought they were discussing work issues. I can't believe it was about drugs."

"The bag is sealed, Ryo." Kaito pointed at the staples. "If he'd bought them, it wouldn't be sealed."

"He could have another stash." Ryo cursed. "We need to check his room."

Kaito punched his arm.

"You can't be the one to doubt Soubi. He needs you, Ryo. You can't quit on him."

"I'm not quitting. I'm disappointed, Kai." Ryo shook the envelope at Kaito. "This crap will kill him and I can't watch that happen."

Kaito stepped back.

"Soubi has changed. This has to be a misunderstanding."

Ryo tore the bag open and dumped the pills into the toilet bowl. He flushed them away and threw the bag into the trash. A door slammed and he glanced at Kaito. He rushed out of the bathroom and raced for Soubi's room. It was empty.

Soubi was gone.

Kaito hurried to the stairs and raced down to the first floor. Ryo followed him hoping they would catch up to Soubi before he got too far. They ran out of the house, and out the gate to the dark street.

"Where the hell is he going at night?" Ryo asked. There was no one on the main street. Soubi must have run. "We should split up. He can't have gone that far."

"I think he'll head to the train station. Come on, if we hurry we'll catch him before he boards."

Ryo sighed. "Let's take the car, it will be faster. We can wait for him at the station."

****

Soubi zipped his jackets, and put his hands into the pockets. The cold cleared his head as he walked fast toward the train station. He'd stay at Grandma's until he could get another apartment. He had been stupid to let Ryo talk him into letting the other one go. He should be used to feeling abandoned. He didn't need their house, but he needed to prove to Ryo that he wasn't on drugs.

His choice not to take them was hard, so hard, Soubi sighed. Ryo had no idea what it took not to take the pills from Tohru earlier. That bitch was going to pay for this.

Soubi walked briskly, the buzz from the _sake_ disappearing thanks to the cold air. He reached the station twenty minutes later. He started up the stairs and almost jumped out of his skin when a hand clamped on his right-upper arm. He started to scream and turned to find Ryo standing on a lower step.

"Where are you going?" Ryo demanded. "Do you really need a fix this bad?"

"Fuck off." Soubi tried to shrug off Ryo's hold on his arm, but the bastard held him fast. "I don't need your judgmental speeches."

"Judgmental," Ryo said with a mocking laugh. "Don't hurt yourself with the vocabulary, Soubi. You might break something."

"Let me go." He tried to shrug off Ryo's hold again and failed. "I'm heading to Grandma's. I'll stay there until I can find a place of my own. I don't need your charity."

"What are you talking about?" Ryo frowned, his face handsome in the street light.

Soubi's heart still had time to pound insanely at the thought of being this close to Ryo. He wanted to hold Ryo, and be with him. He pulled on his upper arm before he started begging.

"I'm leaving." He looked away from Ryo. "I don't need to stay in a place where I'm not wanted, or trusted."

"Soubi," Ryo gasped. "What—

"Let go of my arm," Soubi demanded. "You're hurting me."

The tight hold slackened but Ryo didn't let go.

"The moment I drop my hand, you're going to run into the station. I can't let that happen."

Soubi shook his head.

"Why is it always what you want? You jump to conclusions, and refuse to listen to anything I say. You should let me get on that train. It will be better for all of us."

"No." Ryo's tone low, apologetic. "I'm sorry—

"That's not what I want from you." He glared at Ryo. "Do you still think I'm on drugs?"

Ryo's gaze dropped and pain stabbed his heart. He deserved this distrust, but to get it from Ryo.

Soubi swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"Let me go, Ryo."

"I can't." Ryo shook his head. "I won't. Please, Soubi, come back home."

"You don't trust me." He met dark eyes. "I don't blame you. I don't trust myself, but I have no idea why it's so important that you believe me. I didn't buy those pills. Tohru put them in my pocket because I refused them and—

"Fine, I believe you." Ryo cut him off.

"Don't say that because it's what you think I want to hear."

"What do you want from me?"

"I need you to trust me!"

A fresh crowd of people emerged from the train station. Some glanced at them curious, he pulled on his arm again, but Ryo's grip didn't falter.

"Hey guys," Kaito said, rushing up the steps to stand beside Soubi. "It's getting cold out here."

Ryo's arm dropped away and Soubi glanced at the train station doors. He contemplated going to his grandmother's house. He didn't have the key, so he would need to wake her. Kaito wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into a warm hug.

"Let's go home, Soubi. I'll make you coffee," Kaito promised into his ear, and then led him down the steps. "It's freezing. This winter is going to be very cold."

Soubi looked back.

Ryo stood staring at the ground, his hands in a fist.

***

Five days passed.

On a sunny afternoon, Kaito came in to the lounge holding a letter from the clinic. Kaito waved the paper at Ryo.

"The test was negative. He's been clean for a while."

Ryo watched Kaito walk to the worktable and place the test results at his elbow.

"You have an apology to make," Kaito said.

Ryo stared at the test results.

Soubi wasn't talking to him. He made breakfast, washed dishes and left the house in the morning without a word. He returned late at night, too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

Ryo missed hearing Soubi's infectious laugh. Hell, he even missed the tirades Soubi went into when they forgot to pick up towels in the bathroom. He missed Soubi's food. Five days of silent treatment and Ryo was ready to lose his mind. He picked up the test results and studied the black and white proof that Soubi was clean.

"Where is he today?" Ryo asked his best friend.

Kaito pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket.

"He's jammed up his days with photo shoots. Yesterday, he stumbled in at ten o'clock at night. I'm not sure about today, he doesn't say much."

Ryo dropped the paper on the table and stood.

"I'll wait for him today."

"Are you going to fight with him?" Kaito narrowed his gaze. "You're both idiots. Soubi working himself rugged, you, practically living in this shop. Stop being a coward and face him. Those test results showed up two days ago. You should have talked to him the moment they arrived."

"I have no idea how to apologize. He won't give me an opening."

Ryo paced around the worktable scratching his jaw.

"Take him out, sit down, have a talk." Kaito shrugged. "You're really good at that kind of thing."

Ryo picked his keys from the worktable.

"Can you give us the house tonight?"

Kaito grinned.

"As long as when I get back tomorrow Soubi is back to normal. I miss his cooking."

"You got a deal."

"Great, then I can entertain myself tonight," Kaito said, lighting his cigarette.

Ryo got his jacket and left the shop determined to find a way to apologize to Soubi.

****

"He's worried for you. I think that's important." Sasha Takeno pulled at the sleeves on the jacket Soubi wore. "You look delicious. I love dressing you, Soubi _-chan_."

Soubi chuckled.

"Do you ever stop flirting, Sasha?"

Sasha hugged him.

"If you'd accept to be mine, I'd not need to flirt. But, you won't. Instead, you're torturing me with stories of your latest beau."

"He's not my beau. Are you even listening?" Soubi made an exasperated sound. "Ryo has such high standards. I'm always going to fall short."

Sasha tagged Soubi's ponytail gently then walked to a comfortable couch. Soubi watched Sasha sit and cross one leg over another. The man looked elegant and regal, as he deserved.

Sasha Takeno was head designer and owner of Sasha, Inc.

Soubi admired Sasha's talented and self-assured temperament. Despite all the fame and money, Sasha treated everyone with respect and warmth. They'd known each other for three years now, and Soubi loved being Sasha's friend.

"Well," Soubi demanded when Sasha kept staring at him.

"You are beautiful to look at. That jacket's not working though. I need to adjust the cut. It's too—,"

Sasha waved his right hand in the air, searching for a word.

Soubi turned to look into the mirror a few feet away.

"I'm not the formal attire types. It looks too stuck up."

"Take it off. I'll start again from scratch." Sasha laid his head back on the couch. "As for your man problems, give Ryo a break."

Soubi pulled off the jacket and placed it on the mannequin Sasha used.

"I already forgave him for jumping to conclusions."

"I'll have a talk with Tohru. She needs to apologize for making trouble for you," Sasha said.

Soubi sighed and sat in an armchair across Sasha. "I think I'll quit modeling."

"And do what?" Sasha gaped, sitting up straight. "You not modeling is unthinkable, Soubi. I'd rather you stop dating him."

Soubi laughed rubbing his forehead.

"I need him. I need him more than I need this job."

"It's not a job." Sasha narrowed light brown eyes at him. "You love modeling. I've seen you on the runway."

Soubi stared at the carpet. He'd thought about quitting more times than he dared say. He just didn't know what else he could do for a living.

Sasha got off the couch and came to kneel before him. Elegant hands took his in a warm gentle clasp.

"Soubi Tanaka, you love modeling, and no one should force you to stop doing what you love."

"Even though I love him," Soubi asked, his throat tight with an unexpected lump. "I think about Ryo ninety-five percent of the time. The other five percent, I'm worrying about thinking about him. Does that even make sense?"

Sasha smiled.

"You love him."

Soubi shook his head.

"I keep thinking one of these days he's going to realize I don't belong in his world."

Sasha frowned.

"He's the only Asada who's ever left the family estate. His mother is still staying there even though everyone knows Ryo's dad married another woman. Ryo is a man who sets his own world. You fit in to his world just fine."

"You're going to poke holes into all my excuses, aren't you?"

"That's what I'm here for." Sasha leaned to kiss Soubi's forehead. "Go home, make up, have crazy first time sex, come back and tell me about it. I live through you."

Soubi chuckled blinking back tears.

"That's because you won't take a chance, Sasha. Not everyone is after your money." Soubi touched the tip of Sasha's nose with a finger. "I'm sure you'll find some guy out there who wants you."

"Well, maybe I should steal you away from Ryo," Sasha joked, though his gaze told Soubi a different story. "We could live happily."

Soubi wondered why he couldn't fall for this handsome creature. His life would be so easy.

"If he gets hard-headed," Soubi said with a small smile. "I might take you up on the offer."

Sasha stood, pulling him up.

"Ryo's a lucky guy. Now, get going. Stop running away from home."

Soubi got his leather jacket from the coat hanger. He hadn't needed to carry his duffel bag today.

"Soubi," Sasha called when he was at the door.

He turned to look at his friend.

"Don't quit modeling unless you're tired of it, don't do it for someone else."

Soubi nodded and left Sasha's office with a short wave. He daydreamed his way home, his feet guiding him through the busy Ginza streets to the train. The train ride was a blur, his thoughts preoccupied by the cold war raging at home. It was getting hard not to talk to Ryo. He'd never realized just how exhausting staying angry could be.

Soubi got off at Shimokita and stuck his hands in his pockets. He figured slowing his pace would get him home at around six o'clock.

He wondered if Ryo was home. He wished they hadn't fought about the pills. The silent treatment plan had started by mistake. He had tried to apologize to Ryo the next day after the test, but Ryo hadn't shown up that night. Soubi lost his courage. He couldn't stop thinking about their date and the painting hanging at the gallery named for him.

Soubi stopped on the path.

He wanted to forget Ryo's expression later that evening. Dark eyes swirling with anger, and betrayal, his heart clenched in defeat. Ryo's lack of trust hurt so much. Granted, he was at fault too, but he'd made a promise to Ryo.

Soubi continued home.

At some point in the past few weeks, Ryo's house had become home to him. He loved his room with its low queen size bed and the strange view of a haphazard small flower garden. Ryo had hauled in the huge comfortable armchair he used when he was playing video games.

He loved that Kaito and Ryo allowed him reign over the kitchen. If he asked for something, it showed up the next day. He missed cooking for them, and eating meals together at the kitchen table. He even missed hustling them about the laundry on the floor in their rooms.

Maybe he should just cook tonight.

Soubi paused at the gate and stared at the house. The guys rooms were probably a mess right now, and he'd end up doing all the cleaning—,

Soubi sighed.

Opening the gate, he walked up the short path to the house. Ryo had given him a key attached to a wooden block with his name carved on the surface.

Soubi wondered how he was going to end the cold war. It was too exhausting. Turning the key on the door, he walked into the house with heavy steps. He removed his shoes and called out forlornly.

"I'm home."

Ryo appeared at the kitchen door down the hall.

Soubi stopped unable to tear his eyes away from Ryo. Ryo was so handsome in a pair of black slacks and a white t-shirt that had a splashed of color on the front. Dark eyes smiled at him and his heart danced with joy.

Soubi wished for a miracle, since his brain was unable to forget their disagreements.

He started to turn away but Ryo reached him fast. Soubi almost sighed in contentment when Ryo grabbed his shoulders. His body rejoiced at the simple touch.

"Talk to me, Soubi," Ryo said.

Soubi tilted his head to look at Ryo a gasp escaping when Ryo's lips covered his. He closed his eyes in bliss. Gentle lips moving over his: teasing, a soft kiss, a cajoling kiss, Ryo broke away.

"Talk to me," Ryo said again.

Soubi was too shocked to say anything.

Ryo leaned in to kiss him again. This time the kiss was insistent, Ryo demanded his participation. Soubi kissed back because he couldn't resist. His fingers bunching Ryo's shirt, his heart hammered in his chest.

Ryo broke the kiss and murmured, "Please, Soubi, talk to me."

"Ryo," he managed overwhelmed by Ryo's determination.

Soubi looked up only to be kissed again. The cold war melted away, became a past to forget. He could barely breathe when Ryo pulled him against his body, kissing him deeply, holding him close. He clung when Ryo broke the kiss again.

"Ryo, what's going on?"

"I made dinner." Ryo announced triumphant. "I miss you, we're going to sit down, and fix this shit. I can't stand the silence anymore, Soubi. No more running away."

"I was right here," Soubi replied, his jaw set.

Kisses, however intoxicating, were not going to be enough to appease the situation. He blinked when Ryo pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"I can see the wheels turning in your head. I agree, we need to make some ground rules so that we don't have another misunderstanding. For now, come in and let's eat, then I have a gift for you."

Ryo helped Soubi remove his leather jacket before he led him toward the kitchen.

****

Eight

"I made dinner." Ryo pulled out a seat at the kitchen table for him. "It's _yakitori,_ your favorite."

Soubi stared at the dishes laid out on the table: grilled skewered chicken and vegetables, rice and miso soup. He sat and smiled when Ryo helped him push in his chair. He touched the fine black lacquered plate set before him.

Ryo sat across him, poured green tea into two cups, and slid one to him.

Soubi picked one of the skewers from the tray, affording Ryo a smile, and bit into the chicken. They ate in silence for a while, constantly stealing glances at each other. Soubi blushed when he glanced up at one point to find Ryo watching him while he sipped his tea.

Soubi cleared his throat and placed his chopsticks on the placemat.

"Where is Kaito?"

"Busy elsewhere," Ryo shrugged. "We have the house to ourselves tonight."

Soubi sipped his green tea and sat back.

"Where is my gift?"

Ryo chuckled.

"Well," Soubi raised a brow waiting, trying to remember the last time he'd gotten a present.

Ryo reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Soubi held out his hand for the jade wrapped present.

"If you take this Soubi, you and I, we're a couple now."

Soubi's lips curved into a smile when he saw the thin silver chain resting on a bed of dark velvet in the dark polish box. He extricated the high-quality chain from its bed letting it dangle on his fingers. An intricate silver eagle almost identical to the one he'd given Ryo a week ago sparkled in the light. Its artisanship delicate, and beautiful.

"Can you do one thing for me?" Ryo asked, his tone low, hesitant. "Will you take off the key on your neck?"

Soubi reached for the old chain on his neck in surprise. Ryo moved his plate to the side leaning his elbows on the table.

"I'm sorry you were alone, Soubi. I haven't forgiven myself for leaving three months ago. I should have left you with Kaito."

"I wasn't your responsibility, Ryo. The sex, drugs, boozing, and the clubbing, those were all my decisions. You're not to blame."

Soubi fought away memories of acute loneliness.

"I've needed someone taking care of me all my life. From Grandma, to Rin, and then you, I thought if I tried to make it alone...well—," Soubi shifted in his seat. "You don't need forgiveness for my mistakes."

"Then let's talk about Rin."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me about the key. You two broke up two years ago. Why are you still wearing that chain? Why is Rin wearing the padlock?"

"Because," Soubi put Ryo's eagle back into the box on the table. "We made a promise to each other the year we met."

Soubi pulled at the chain on his neck, the key rusted with age. He didn't even know if it could open the padlock now. Rin was stuck wearing that stupid padlock around his neck. They could always cut the chain but—

Soubi met Ryo's gaze.

"Rin was my best friend before he became my lover. When my parents died, I moved into Grandma's house. I was fourteen, angry and in constant trouble. There weren't that many people who could stand me. Grandma kept warning me to stay away from a local gang but I wouldn't listen. One night, a bunch of us robbed a video game store and I almost got caught by the police. I ran down an alley, the inspector behind me, Rin appeared out of nowhere. He pulled me into the back of a convenience store where he worked and closed the doors. Rin saved me from jail that night."

Soubi stared at the key, the past close.

"I'd never met someone like Rin before. He lived in an orphanage and used to work at the convenience store, being paid under the table. During his spare time, we'd go to the docks in Shinagawa and I'd watch him play his guitar for hours. We talked, argued...fell in love. He showed me what it was to be alive. I was fast on my feet, useful when you're pick pocketing on the streets. The gang was determined to get me back. Rin got me out of the gang using this key. When they came for me, Rin told them he owned me."

Soubi looked at Ryo trying to make him understand what Rin Kouga meant to him.

"I don't like to think about how my parents died, but ending up at Grandma's was hard, Ryo. Rin kept me sane when I didn't think I had anything to live for. By the time we met you, I'd been with Rin three years."

The night Soubi met Ryo was so clear in his memories.

Rin's band, _Blazing Red_ , had been playing at an Asada club in Ginza. Soubi had just started modeling those days. It was his first time mingling with the elite crowd found in the high-end clubs. He had felt out of place among the high rollers. Ryo had shown up with Kaito for the concert. Perched on a stool at the bar, Soubi watched Ryo mingle, captivated by Ryo's handsome face.

His Ryo fantasies started that night.

Kaito had come to the bar to get drinks. Soubi didn't know how it happened, but Kaito managed to spill a drink on Soubi's white t-shirt. Ryo was apologetic about the accident and offered to buy him drinks while he waited for Rin to finish on stage. Inviting him to the VIP section upstairs.

"There are times I wish I met you before I met Rin." His heart ached with that confession. "Without Rin, however, I'd be dead or in jail."

"Don't stay that." Ryo reached out to take Soubi's right hand in his. "What was the promise you made Rin?"

Soubi lowered his head.

"To be there for each other until the day we died. As long as I was wearing the key, and he the padlock, we'd know we'll always fit, no matter what happens."

Ryo cursed under his breath and withdrew his hand.

"Does that count when he left you? He has his hooks so deep inside you, I'm so jealous."

"There is nothing to be jealous about. You're the one who picked me up when he left. Maybe that is the problem with me. I never learned how to let go of the people I love."

Soubi sighed.

"The same way I'm not ready to give up this key. Despite what's happened between Rin and me, he's the one that made me live, Ryo. I made a promise."

"What happens if Rin doesn't keep his side of the promise?"

"I've only cared about three people in my life. Grandma, Rin and you," Soubi said quietly. "I've broken a thousand promises to Grandma, and let's not even tackle how many I've broken with you. This," he pulled at the key, "is the last promise I haven't broken yet in the past eight years."

Ryo stood and started picking the plates from the table.

Soubi sat not moving worried that his need to cling to a past he dared not give up was going to make him lose Ryo. He watched Ryo clear the table in silence, expecting him to leave after the table was clean.

It would be fitting, wouldn't it?

Soubi touched the eagle on the chain. He wanted to wear the eagle so badly. He wanted to belong with Ryo so much that his heart ached.

"Want some coffee?" Ryo asked, placing a mug before him anyway. Ryo sat in his chair his own mug steaming. "Keep the key, Soubi."

Soubi gasped.

"You don't mind—

"I do." Ryo's fingers curled into tight fists on the table before he released them. "I wish I could break this bond Rin is making you keep on your own, but, I can't. It's your bond. I'll honor it to a point, Soubi. Please take the eagle it's yours."

Soubi smiled wide. He picked up the chain and met Ryo's dark gaze.

"I thought it was coming with a set of ground rules."

"It's a gift, no attachments." Ryo sipped his coffee. "The three ground rules are for our relationship."

Soubi toyed with the little eagle.

"What are they?"

"Rule one. We have to talk to each other. I never want to go to bed without you talking to me. If you're angry, tell me, scream at me, fight with me, but, please don't shut me out." Ryo frowned. "I found it too painful not talking to you Soubi."

"Deal." Soubi couldn't argue with that, he'd felt like he was losing his mind not talking to Ryo too. "Second one."

"I'll never lie to you. I hope you know that, Soubi." Ryo placed his mug on the table and shook his head. "I'll always tell you the truth as best as I can, even when it hurts. I'm sorry I didn't believe you about the drugs."

Soubi stood and walked around the table to Ryo. He smiled when Ryo pushed his chair back making space.

"I'll always tell you the truth too, Ryo. The best I can," Soubi murmured, moving to straddle Ryo's lap. He wrapped his arms around Ryo's shoulders and hugged him tight. "What's the last rule?"

"I don't share, Soubi." Ryo warned fingers sinking into Soubi's hair to pull his head back. "Not with Rin, not with anyone. That's a promise I want from you."

"I promise," Soubi breathed.

Ryo let his hair go and he buried his face into Ryo's shoulder. He took in Ryo's scent mingled with the warm delicious scents of coffee.

He lifted his head and stared at Ryo's lips: firm, smiling. He kissed Ryo's lips before he pulled back and held up the chain.

"Are you going to put this on me to seal the deal?"

Ryo chuckled, a deep rumble that thrilled him.

He gave the chain to Ryo and watched him undo the clasp. Leaning his forehead on Ryo's shoulder, he reached up to move his ponytail for Ryo to fasten the chain.

Soubi had dreamed of being in Ryo's arms. No matter how many times he denied it, he had imagined what it would be like to make love with Ryo. When he was with Rin, he'd thought it a betrayal. When he broke up with Rin, it was torture to lust after Ryo, his knight.

Now—

His hips moved, wanting to feel Ryo's hardness against his.

Ryo was his.

His heart dipped, wanting nothing more than to be so close to Ryo that they seemed one. Ryo captured his lips in a hot searing kiss.

His fingers sunk into Ryo's hair, enjoying the thick soft texture. Ryo's lips fitted against his, his tongue slid over Ryo's soft plump lower lip. Their breaths mingled, he closed his eyes in bliss when Ryo allowed his tongue in. He explored Ryo's hot delicious mouth savoring Ryo's taste. His tongue sliding over Ryo's, dueling, and then Ryo took control. His breath quickened when Ryo bit his lower lip gently.

Ryo's kisses trailed along his jaw, to his neck, his fingers tightened in Ryo's hair when Ryo sucked on his skin, marking him. Heat pooled at his crotch, so hot it burned. He'd never realized having someone suck on his neck could be so erotic.

Eyes closed, head thrown back, he bit his lip as Ryo kept up his gentle assault on his neck. Wandering fingers pulled up Soubi's t-shirt and he helped Ryo remove it. Soubi helped Ryo remove shirt too. He splayed his hands on Ryo's shoulders. He pressed a kiss on Ryo's shoulder unable to believe this was happening.

With a soft sigh, he bit Ryo's shoulder gently and was rewarded with a harsh grunt in return. Ryo wrapped a strong arm around his waist and stood. Their lips melded in a wild kiss, their breathing erratic, his fingers dug into taut shoulder muscles as he tried to get as close as he could to Ryo's burning chest. His legs wrapped tightly around Ryo's waist. A frenzied lust overtook his brain, drowning him as they kissed, his fingers digging into Ryo's silky hair. Craving, needing, crazed with lust.

Ryo dropped Soubi's feet to the floor and with their mouths still melded; sure fingers fell on his trouser zipper. Soubi gasped into Ryo's demanding kiss when the zipper rolled down, and Ryo grabbed his cock. A few firm strokes and he was ready to cum, his hips grinding into Ryo's clever hands. Ryo lifted him on to the kitchen table sending their coffee mugs to the floor.

Soubi helped Ryo strip his trousers off and shivered when Ryo pushed him to lie back on the table. Fire scorched through his veins when Ryo took him into his mouth. He arched into the burning, wet heat and cried out as Ryo sucked on him without mercy, driving him to madness, bringing him to a quick climax.

Minutes, or may be hours, later, he sat astride Ryo on a great king sized bed, eyes level with Ryo's, half-closed in ecstasy as he grinded his hips. Ryo's hands closed hard on his hips, shoving him downward while Ryo violently thrust upward, sending sizzling tingles through his body. He arched into Ryo's thrusts, his fingers digging into Ryo's shoulders. Ryo thrust again, and again, short fevered gasps escaped as Soubi threw his head back in rapture.

Ryo's strokes were unrelenting, his rigid length thick and hot inside him, rubbing over and over on that magical spot inside him. Unrelenting thrusts drove wave after wave of pleasure through his body.

Ryo wrapped Soubi's hair in his arm, giving it a subtle tag; he brought their lips together in a wanton kiss.

"I love you, Soubi," Ryo murmured into his ear.

Words escaped him. Ryo held him tighter, fucking him hard, driving him over the edge. Soubi came with a harsh scream arching violently while Ryo gripped his hips tight. Tears spilled down his cheeks when Ryo came into him, pouring white-hot seed into him, his body trembling. He clung to Ryo tightly as the world faded.

***

It was ten-thirty at night as per the clock on the bedside table. Soubi traced the inked eagle on Ryo's back, his head propped on his left arm as Ryo lay on his stomach. Ryo's head was turned to him on the fluffy dark pillow. He traced a finger over Ryo's spine, trailing down to the curve of Ryo's ass. Ryo smiled. Soubi leaned over to taste that smile.

"Did it hurt?" Soubi asked, returning his attention back to the eagle, tracing the eagle's white tail at the small of Ryo's back. The tattoo had detailed artwork. It would have taken hours to get it on.

"I was too drunk to care. My brother has a phoenix on his back. His took more time than mine. Our mother wanted to kill us when she found out."

"Why did you do it?" Soubi asked.

Ryo shifted to his back kicking off the sheet over them in the process. Drawing Soubi's to Ryo's crotch, his own cock responding at the sight of the slightly swollen cock.

"We were rebelling against father, and his ridiculous rules." Ryo shrugged. "My brother wanted to live outside the estate for the duration of his university studies. Father wouldn't let him because he wanted him to take over business matters. Since I was graduating from high school two years later, Tohaku fought with father in order to get permission for both of us. Father refused Tohaku, but allowed me the four years out of the estate."

"So you got the tattoo because your brother was imprisoned for your sake."

Soubi rested his head on Ryo's shoulder. He'd only met Tohaku, Ryo's older brother, once. Well, not really met, he'd seen Tohaku Asada talking to Ryo from a distance.

"You must love your brother very much."

"Brotherhood is great, but it can turn into a burden," Ryo said, his tone low.

"Ryo, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Ryo said.

"Two years ago, just before Rin left, you told me you were going back to the estate. Why didn't you? Was it because of me?"

"Yes." Ryo reached for his hand and tangled their fingers. "After I found you in that awful apartment, alone, I couldn't leave you."

"Your mother came to see me," Soubi confessed softly.

He'd kept it hidden for so long it felt strange revealing it now, but he'd made a promise not to lie.

"She found me at Grandma's when you were at work one day that first year. She asked me to tell you to go back to the estate."

"What?" Ryo sat up, taking him along. Ryo gripped his upper arms and shook him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was high. Her angry accusations are all I remember. She kept saying it was my fault and that I ruined you." He felt tears burn the back of his eyes. "I didn't know what she meant so I tried to apologize. She said she'd never forgive me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ryo demanded again, his dark eyes stormy with anger.

"I figured if I fixed what was wrong with me you wouldn't have to stay. You'd return back to her and the estate. But you didn't, and—

"I'm going to kill her."

Ryo let go of him and started to get off the bed.

Soubi grabbed Ryo's left arm to stop him.

"Where are you going?"

"She has no right to interfere in my business. How dare she come to lecture you?" Ryo shrugged his hold off angrily.

Soubi scrambled after Ryo, jumping off the bed, he got in front of Ryo and placed his hands on strong shoulders. He pushed Ryo back to sit on the bed and straddled Ryo wrapping his arms tightly around Ryo's shoulders.

"Think, Ryo. It's almost eleven o'clock at night. Your mother might be sleeping by the time you drive almost three hours to the Asada estate. There is no need to confront her about a past that's over."

Ryo cursed under his breath, his arms wrapping around Soubi.

"She hurt you. I was protecting you and she hurt you. I should have known."

"She gave me ammunition to start thinking and taking care of myself." Soubi pressed a kiss on Ryo's shoulder before he whispered. "You're more hotheaded than I am, Asada. Are you seriously going to leave me in this bed alone?"

Ryo held him tight, their naked bodies pressed together.

Soubi reached between them for Ryo's hardening cock. Stroking until Ryo was breathing hard. Shifting up slightly, he reached behind him to guide the rigid length into him. He didn't stop until Ryo's full length was deep inside him.

"Are you seducing me?" Ryo teased as they stayed still for a moment.

Soubi smiled, biting his lower lip as his body adjusted to having Ryo inside him. He was half-afraid he'd never enjoy having sex with anyone else. If Ryo were to leave him—, that thought was cut off when Ryo thrust into him.

"I already did," Soubi murmured, grinding his hips into Ryo's thrusts.

He could do this all night, days, weeks, gods, fucking Ryo was heaven. Ryo cupped his ass and set a frenzied pace that had him gasping for more.

***

"I'm glad to see marital bliss in here."

Kaito praised the next afternoon when he walked into the house. Soubi stood by the sink washing fish while Ryo leaned on the counter beside him.

"Kai, where have you been all day?"

Soubi smiled in greeting turning off the water. He wiped his hands on a towel ready to hug Kaito.

Ryo pulled on his ponytail stopping him.

"Where do you think you're going? Kaito, keep your damn hands to yourself."

"Possessive," Kaito laughed.

Soubi shook his head at the comment. He ignored Ryo's warning and accepted Kaito's short hug.

"You have hickeys all over your neck!"

Soubi blushed hot jumping out of Kaito's arms. He pulled up his turtleneck; he'd thought he hid those. Ryo was obsessed with marking him. He gave Ryo a warning glance. The silly grin that followed made him glare.

"What?" Ryo asked, still leaning on the kitchen counter. "How's the shop? Aren't you home a bit early?"

Kaito sat at the kitchen table picking out a cookie from a tray in the middle of the table. Soubi stared at the corner where Ryo had held him the night before and felt heat flood his face. Jeez, he returned to the sink and ran cold water. Ryo dropped a kiss on top of his head.

"Actually, I have some news. _Blazing Red_ is coming to town."

Kaito reached into his pocket to pull out a folded poster. He slapped it on the table and took a bite of his cookie.

"Rin Kouga is going to be hanging out in Shimokita for a week. I hope you guys are ready for that idiot."

Soubi tensed with his hands buried in a bowl full of fish. The euphoria of a night spent in Ryo's bed quickly disappearing at the thought of seeing Rin again.

***

Nine

"That tickles."

Soubi laughed as he lay on the floor on top of a paper. Ryo knelt over him, tracing a pen along his armpit. He tried not to laugh but the darned pen tickled his skin, he giggled.

"Don't move," Ryo admonished with a wide grin clearly not repentant for teasing him.

Rock music pulsed on the radio. Yojiro Noda's voice filled the workshop behind the Furiroda shop. Kaito had two young women assisting him at the front. Ryo had Soubi posing for a series of paintings. He lay on plain white paper in his briefs and a sleeveless Furiroda t-shirt. His hair fanned out around his head.

Ryo continued to draw, tracing his pen down to his left hip, along his thigh, to his bent knee.

"This is kinky."

Ryo bit Soubi's inner thigh gently and he laughed.

"It's so hard to keep you still. How do you model for still shots?"

"I get paid for those." Soubi stuck his tongue out.

"You'll get paid for this one too."

Ryo brought his pen along Soubi's inner thigh up to his crotch. He bit back a moan when Ryo's fingers slid over his balls, teasing; he bit his lip trying to keep still. Ryo chuckled and the pen continued along his right inner leg.

"And how will you pay me?" Soubi asked breathlessly.

"What do you want from me?" Ryo asked his tone sinfully seductive.

"That's a loaded question."

Soubi smiled when the pen quickly came up his right leg to his hip and up to his armpit again. Ryo's fingers slid over sensitive skin in his armpit. He laughed; Ryo lay over him and kissed him.

"I'm sure we can find something you want from me," Ryo purred into his ear.

"All I want is your cock inside me all the time," Soubi matched his tone.

"You insatiable little thing. I knew you only wanted my body.

Soubi grinned.

Ryo's pen traced his right arm up to his shoulder and then his neck where they had started.

"We're done." Ryo knelt over him capping the pen. He held out his hand to Soubi. With a swift tug, they both got to their feet.

The silhouette on the blank paper was unmistakably male with spiky long hair.

"Looks like an action figure." Soubi moved away from Ryo to retrieve his pants from the couch. He put them on, hopping on socked feet to get them up his hips. "When is it due?"

"Next week." Ryo rolled the drawing paper and placed it on the worktable.

Soubi buttoned his pants and reached up to put his hair in a loose ponytail. A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall had him grabbing up his jacket.

"I have thirty minutes to get to Sasha's. He'll kill me if I'm late."

"Do you have to go? You can hang here with me and Kaito."

Ryo leaned on the table watching Soubi wear his coat.

"I want to, but I can't. Sasha is doing a showcase at the Gardens later. I'm his model."

"A showcase, do you mean like a party?"

"Sort of, I'll be working; guests will be partying and checking out new designs."

Soubi shrugged. Sasha would be paying him extra tonight, which was good for his savings account.

Ryo stared at him, his gaze skeptical. It was obvious he still didn't like the idea that Soubi was a model. Soubi sighed and closed the distance between them. He grabbed Ryo's t-shirt and pulled him down for a long kiss. He smiled when Ryo grabbed his hips and held him in place.

"I want to see how your painting turns out. I should be out of the Gardens by ten o'clock later. Will you be here?"

"I can pick you up." Ryo pulled off Soubi's hair rubber band and placed it on the worktable. His fingers combing through Soubi's hair. "We can go out for a drive."

"That will be nice." Soubi tried to take a step back but Ryo held on refusing to let go. "I'll call you when I'm ready to leave."

Ryo kissed him again; fingers sliding into his hair, holding him close. He clung to Ryo for a moment, and then stepped back with a laugh.

"I really have to go. I'm going to be late."

"Alright," Ryo said reluctantly.

"I'll call you," Soubi soothed as he rushed out of the workshop.

****

Ryo picked the red rubber band from the worktable and rolled it on his wrist. He smiled as it joined the three other rubber bands he'd confiscated.

"It's exciting to see you smile because of Soubi," Kaito said as he walked in to the back carrying a large mug for coffee. He stuck his unlit cigarette between his teeth and headed for the coffee maker. "Have you guys talked about Rin Kouga?"

"Nope," Ryo said, pushing off the worktable, he picked up his drawing. "Soubi is handling this the only way he can. We're just going to deal with it when Rin shows up."

Kaito nodded and got another mug from the makeshift rack they'd built above the coffee maker.

"That just means we're on watch detail. Rin is going to try to talk to Soubi when he gets here."

"He won't get a chance."

Ryo took the coffee Kaito brought to him. He sank into his chair and rolled out the drawing on the long worktable.

Kaito chuckled.

"It looks like an action figure that walked through the wall."

"It's interesting how alike you two are."

Ryo's cell phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.

Kaito took his cigarette from his lips.

"I like the girls out there, they're keeping me busy. We should keep them."

"Maybe just one," Ryo replied, staring at his caller ID. "I gotta take this. My mother's going to keep calling until I answer."

Kaito made a face as he left.

Ryo stood up and answered the call in his most neutral voice.

"Hello, mother," he said.

"When are you coming to the estate?"

"Not soon." Ryo closed his eyes when he heard his mother break something.

"Your brother is out of control, he's making a lot of trouble. You're the only one who can talk to him, Ryosuke."

"There is nothing wrong with Tohaku."

"He's defiant with your father. It's making trouble for me. You know I depend on you. Please come home."

"Why don't you talk to Tohaku?" Ryo paced to the windows, and stood staring at the small yard behind the shop. It was packed with product boxes and packing paper, they needed to clean up. "You should try explaining your situation to Tohaku."

"Tohaku is stubborn. Did you know he wants to get married? He's found a poor girl working at your father's club. I've told him she's not right for him. He already has a girl to marry."

"Have you ever considered he's happier with the girl from the bar?" Ryo pressed his forehead on the cool window. Gods, he hated dealing with his mother's drama. "I have to go."

"When are you coming home?"

"I'll call."

Ryo hung up on her afraid if they kept talking, they might argue. He speed dialed his brother.

"What's up li'l bro?" Tohaku greeted him cheerfully. "How is Shimokita?"

"Cold, I don't feel like driving out there. Deal with Mother already, she keeps calling me."

"I won't talk to a woman who keeps telling me to marry someone I don't care about."

"Then talk to her and explain that to her. I can't be the go between for the rest of your lives. I have my own life to live."

"How grand of you, Ryosuke. Is it great living it up in the outside world? You have your best friend with you. And your cute small shop, don't think I don't know about your art exhibition. All of that is happening because you don't have to run any of the Asada businesses."

"I don't care what you think of my independence. I'm just letting you know that if you don't fix this thing with Mom, shit will go down. You know that better than I do."

"What does that mean?"

"She found Soubi." Ryo moved away from the windows and paced back to the worktable his thoughts filling with Soubi's confession two nights ago. "She found Soubi when I decided to stay out of the estate."

"You're kidding me." Tohaku sighed. "What did she tell him?"

"He's not too sure. You remember how fucked up he was those days. But, she wanted him to let me come back to the estate. I'm pretty sure she's going to find your bartender girlfriend."

"I'll deal with it."

Ryo paused at Tohaku's hard tone, but he wasn't about to go to the estate. Every time he did, his father found a way to tie him up there for a week. He couldn't afford that with Rin about to hit town. Besides, his relationship with Soubi was great right now. He didn't want to fuck it up.

"I'm sorry I can't be there for you."

"Hey, bro, don't worry. Thanks for the heads up. I'll take care of the situation. Say hi to Kaito, and Soubi."

"Yeah," Ryo smiled.

"I saw the painting. It's about time you two try to get happy. I'll call if something comes up."

"Sure."

Ryo placed his phone on the table and shook his head. He wished he had a normal family. Staring at the drawing of Soubi on the table, he grinned.

"He really does look like an action figure, Sonic the hedgehog with a bad temper."

****

Soubi's head was throbbing from all the fake smiling. A waiter passed by him and he swiped a glass of champagne and sneaked into an alcove. He sat down on a step taking a sip of the bubbling liquid. His fingers rubbed his forehead to ease the tension.

Placing the glass on the floor, he pulled off the black formal jacket and unbuttoned his shirt collar. His hair was held in a tight ponytail. He fought the urge to undo it to relieve his head. He had spent over two hours smiling and talking to clients. Answering questions, selling Sasha's clothing.

Now, he just wanted to go home, and be with Ryo.

His phone buzzed and he got it from his pants. In the process, he hit the glass and spilled the champagne on the step and on his slacks.

"Shit." He stood wiping at the stain.

His phone buzzed again and he gave up on the wet spot. The slacks were black. It would be hard to see. The text message was from Ryo.

What are you doing? Stop drinking and talk to me.

Soubi smiled leaning on the wall.

I'm hiding in an alcove, just spilled a drink on myself.

Why are you hiding?

I'm tired of fake smiling for company bastards.

Want me to rescue you?

Will you?

I'll be right there.

"There you are," Sasha exclaimed. "I thought you left. What have you done to yourself?"

Soubi put his cell phone away and reached up to button his shirt.

"It gets stuffy in there. I wanted a little air."

"You're a mess."

Sasha pushed Soubi's hands away and fixed the shirt. He helped Soubi into his jacket and buttoned it. Luckily, the champagne stain wasn't visible.

"We're almost done. Hang in there for me, Soubi-chan."

Soubi followed Sasha into the brightly lit room filled with glamorous models and handsome young men. A handful of obscenely rich business owners and their wives mingled with them.

Soubi smiled when an older woman took his elbow, and urged him toward the buffet where her friends were. He was bordering on passing out with boredom from conversation about the best kind of fabric for couches when a drink appeared before his nose. He blinked and looked up into Ryo's dark eyes.

"You look thirsty."

He could have kissed him. Curious feminine eyes on him, Soubi restrained the urge and took the drink.

"Ladies, this is Ryosuke Asada."

Ryo gave them a playful bow, his lips curved into a short smile.

"Don't you all look lovely?"

"He's charming." One of the women fanned her face, sipping her champagne with a wink. "Are you available, Ryosuke Asada?"

"Available?" Ryo glanced at him for a moment. "Only to a certain jealous bird I'm afraid."

"Ooh," the woman fanned herself again. "This bird is very lucky, Ryosuke Asada. Are you sure you can't be persuaded to come home with me instead?"

"Not tonight, Madam."

Ryo winked and held out his palm to her. She put her hand in his palm and Soubi watched Ryo press a kiss on her soft skin. Jealousy reared its ugly head and he almost pushed her away. As if sensing his feelings, Ryo stepped away from the women.

"I'm going to steal this handsome bird from you now." Ryo grabbed his arm and led him away from the group.

"Did you have to kiss her hand like you're some kind of knight?"

"Are you jealous? I was being nice to her."

"Nice? Are you nice to everyone who hits on you?"

Ryo stopped in the middle of the room turning to look at him, his eyes bright with amusement.

"You _are_ jealous. It was a harmless gesture."

"Harmless or not, nobody said you had to do it."

Soubi tried to step away from him, oblivious to the people surrounding them. He was being irrational. He knew that, it just, seeing Ryo's lips on someone else—

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like watching you kiss strange men at a club either." Ryo shot back in irritation. "I guess you didn't know what that feels like 'til now."

"You didn't just throw that in my face."

Soubi glared feeling like he might scratch Ryo's eyes out. How could Ryo and in the middle of such a room where he couldn't scream out his anger.

"Hey, you two," Sasha appeared from nowhere it seemed. "You must be Ryo Asada."

He held out his hand to Ryo and slipped his free hand around Soubi's waist.

"It's really nice to meet you."

"Get your hands off him." Ryo took Sasha's hand gripping it tight.

"Ryo," Soubi chastised. "This is Sasha Takeno, my boss."

Ryo cursed under his breath and let go of Sasha's hand.

"I'm sorry. Please get your hands off him."

Sasha raised his hands up, allowing Soubi to step away from him.

"I heard you were scary. Those dark eyes are quite something."

"Are they?" Ryo shrugged turning to Soubi. "I came to pick him up. It's already past ten o'clock."

"You can have him." Sasha smiled at Soubi. "I'll call you soon, Soubi."

Soubi gave Sasha a slight bow.

"I'm sorry about Ryo. We're still working on his manners."

Sasha chuckled and reached out to touch Soubi's collar.

"Look at you glowing with pride. Get out of here already."

Ryo gave Sasha a parting glare and Soubi pushed Ryo toward the exit.

Once they were outside in the windy parking lot, Soubi punched Ryo's left arm.

"What the hell was that in there?"

"You started it over a simple flirt." Ryo pushed him into the shadows of the building not stopping until they were against the wall. "You drive me crazy, Soubi. Why do you have to drive me this crazy?"

Soubi wrapped his arms around Ryo's shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss. His fingers digging into Ryo's wild hair, he kissed Ryo hard, wanting to punish. Wanting to show his frustration with Ryo's jealousies and his own, and Ryo's flirting with women.

When had he gotten this possessive?

Soubi sometimes felt like he was going nuts every time they weren't together. He groaned when Ryo pushed him against the wall. Ryo lifted him up and he wrapped his legs around Ryo's hips. Their kiss turned needy, and passionate. Ryo's hand moved between them, unbuttoning Soubi's slacks deftly.

Soubi gasped when Ryo stroked him. Fingers digging into Ryo's shoulders, barely breathing as Ryo stroked him fast, driving him to an orgasm.

He broke their kiss, breathing hard while Ryo sucked on sensitive skin at his neck. Sweat coated their skin, his hips jerked to Ryo's firm strokes.

"Oh my gods please hurry."

"Don't scream." Ryo warned hotly against his ear, making him tremble.

A car passed by in the parking lot, and the sound of laughter reached them. Soubi was right on the edge, so close, Ryo's strokes never faltering. Footsteps on the pavement had him holding on to Ryo's shoulders tightly. His cock swelling, his breath coming faster, Ryo captured his lips in a kiss that swallowed his moans when he came hard.

Soubi crumbled after, glad for Ryo's shoulders and weight holding him against the wall. He didn't think he could move. Ryo held him as the footsteps got closer and passed them.

"You're a bastard." Soubi punched Ryo's shoulder. "We could have been caught."

"You liked it." Ryo bit his earlobe gently, making him shudder. "You were trembling against me, mindless with passion when you heard them laughing."

"Were you trying to prove a point?" Soubi asked, pushing against Ryo, hoping to get down.

Ryo allowed it, letting him stand on his feet. Ryo pulled out a handkerchief, used it to wipe his hand and stuck it back into his pocket. Soubi started to button his trousers, but Ryo pushed his hands away and did it himself.

"No point, Soubi. I was giving you what you wanted." Ryo kissed him again, softly licking Soubi's lips. "Don't be angry with me anymore. I'm sorry for flirting."

"You were rude to Sasha." Soubi accused leaning against the wall, his clothes right again. "As much as it turns me on, please don't do it again. He's my boss."

"I know," Ryo said. "Come on, enough of this."

Ryo took his hand and led him out of the shadows, to the parking lot. They got into the car and were soon on their way out of Ginza. His hand held securely in Ryo's as they drove on the highway. He watched Ryo's hair turn different shades of black under the highway lights.

"Thanks for rescuing me," Soubi murmured.

"Always, Soubi," Ryo replied.

***

Ten

"Tell me something," Ryo said, holding Soubi on the couch in the living room.

He trailed fingers through Soubi's hair, rubbed the silky dark strands against his fingers. Soubi shifted lazily over him, his eyes closed. The television was on playing an old English movie. Soubi was half dozing through it.

"What?" Soubi asked.

"Why did you grow your hair?" Ryo pulled the throw blanket higher over Soubi's shoulders. "Wouldn't it have been hard for you?"

Soubi shook his head, tangling Ryo's fingers in his hair in the process.

"My mother liked it that way. It wasn't as long when she was alive. She used to trim it to my shoulders those days. When she died, I wouldn't let Grandma touch my head so it grew longer."

"Stubborn little thing."

Kaito came in from the kitchen and held out a bowl of popcorn to Ryo.

"It's freezing out there." Kaito wrapped his own throw blanket around his shoulders and stretched out on the adjacent couch. "I should get myself a girlfriend to keep me warm."

"As long as she's not one of the girls you met last night at the club." Ryo winked at him as he ate a handful of popcorn. "I thought you were going to make them both your girlfriends."

"I loved them. Did you see their bodies?" Kaito shivered under his blanket. "Too bad they wanted all my money for just one night. Don't take me out to any more clubs, Ryo. I'm swearing off women."

Ryo laughed. "I really doubt that."

They were talking about their schedule the next day when a knock on the door interrupted. Soubi sat up first.

"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll get it."

Ryo watched him head for the door with a frown. He pushed the throw blanket off swinging his socked feet to the wood floor. Soubi pulled open the door, and stumbled back with a small cry.

"Who is it, Soubi?"

Ryo hurried to Soubi.

"I should have known this is who you were with."

His mother's voice froze him where he stood.

Soubi pushed his hair back, his slender frame trembling in the cold air since he was in a thin t-shirt and sweat pants. Ryo's mother sneered at Soubi and yelled.

"I asked you to leave my son alone!"

Ryo pulled Soubi back.

"Go to the bathroom."

Soubi stared at him blankly, shaking. Ryo didn't like the fear he read in those eyes. He shook Soubi by his shoulders.

"You said you needed to go to the bathroom, go!"

Kaito took Soubi and led him away. Ryo turned to his mother.

"What the hell are you doing here? This is my house."

"I'm your mother. Respect your elders," Sei Asada ordered.

Ryo hated her authoritative tone. It made him want to slap her. Instead, he clenched his fingers into a fist. She was his mother, and he loved her, but times like this made him hate her worse than death.

Ingrained manners had Ryo bowing his head, giving her the respect she demanded. He stepped aside and waved her into the living room. She walked in with a regal air, looking down on the cozy couches with the blankets still on the floor. The popcorn bowls on the messy coffee table. One would never find such a sight in the cold house Sei Asada kept at the family estate.

She didn't sit on their couches. She moved around them, judging.

Ryo closed his eyes forcing the rage brewing inside him back.

"Close the door, Ryosuke. It's cold."

He did as she asked before he turned to glare at her.

"What do you want? Why are you here?"

"Your brother and I had a fight. Your father wants me to leave him alone, and respect his second wife. I can't take it anymore. You bring balance to that estate. Why do you want to waste your life here, playing house with that little bastard?"

"His name is Soubi. Don't insult him again." Ryo glared at her. "I don't have to live in that estate. You shouldn't be there either. Choose to leave and be happy."

"If you weren't with that little idiot, you'd know why you have to come back. Your brother might inherit your father's position, but he's not smart. Not like you, Ryo. Tohaku will run us all into debt and ruin the Asada name with the black market."

"I don't have to listen to you." Ryo shook his head. "I don't want to inherit anything. I don't want to run the Asada clan because it's not my place. I thought you wanted me to be happy. Can't you see I'm happy living here?"

"Happy?"

Sei laughed, her tone mocking as she looked around the living room. Her elegant grey dress stopped right above her knees. Her heavy dark coat swung with every step. Her heels clicking on the wooden floor that Soubi insisted on keeping polished. It pissed him off that she was scratching it with her heels.

"I was happy once. Do you know where that idea got me, Ryosuke?"

She turned to look at him, her dark eyes sad. For a moment, his anger turned to pity, hating the woman she'd become. It was difficult to reconcile her with the woman she'd once been.

"Happiness got me two ungrateful sons, a husband who hates me, and a painful reality living as the shunned wife. If you think the happiness you're clinging to will last, think again. Do what I'm telling you."

"Leave," Ryo ordered quietly. "You won't accept me for who I am. I can't change that. But, I won't have you insulting the man I love."

"What happens if I tell your father?" Sei threatened, closing the distance between them. Her heels giving her the height to tower over him. "What do you think he'll do to that little model and his dear Grandma?"

"If he dares touch Soubi, I'll kill him first, fuck the consequences." Ryo warned. "Stay out of my way, and don't play games with my life, Mother."

She looked at him for a moment then buttoned her coat.

"You are your father's son. Fine, do what you wish. Good night, Ryo."

She slammed out of his house as fast as she'd walked in leaving behind a cloud of flowery perfume. It choked him, making him want to vomit. Damn woman, it was hard to believe she was his mother. She wanted power. Controlling the Asada fortune would allow her to get her revenge on her husband. The only way to get that power was through Ryo since Tohaku was hard to control.

Tohaku was hard, and angry but with Ryo—

Soubi appeared in the corridor.

His weakness was Soubi. If his mother threatened Soubi, he'd do anything to help her.

"Ryo," Soubi said.

Ryo tried for a smile but for the life of him, he couldn't find the strength.

Soubi rushed to him.

Ryo wrapped his arms around Soubi holding him tight and breathed in the sweet scent of mint. He looked up over Soubi's shoulder to find Kaito watching them with a grim expression.

Obviously, he wasn't the only one wary of his mother's threats.

****

Soubi scrubbed the frying pan hard the next morning. He scraped at the stubborn bits of egg stuck to the bottom with a vengeance. When they wouldn't come off, he dropped the pan in the sink.

"Damn thing won't get clean."

He turned on water and washed his hands.

"Why the fuck do they call it non-stick and then food sticks anyway?"

"Stop taking out your temper on the dishes. Soak the pan." Kaito ordered irritated by all the noise. "It's too early for the drama."

"Oh yeah, why don't you try washing dishes once in a while?" Soubi snapped.

He wiped his hands with a dishtowel and threw it on the counter. Rubbing his eyes, Soubi stalked to the refrigerator looking for eggs. When he opened the fridge, he found one egg in a carton of twelve. There was a half-empty bottle of milk, a package with leftover rice balls, and nothing else. He cursed.

"Doesn't anyone else go shopping?" he demanded, glaring at Kaito sitting at the kitchen table a mug of coffee pressed to his forehead. "How can you just sit there staring at me?"

"Didn't Ryo give you some last night?" Kaito asked. "Your voice is grating on my nerves."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

Soubi grabbed the notepad stuck on the fridge and started writing out a list.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Kaito asked.

"If someone did the fucking grocery shopping I wouldn't be yelling."

Kaito got up from his seat and came to stand by the table where Soubi was writing furiously. The pen was grabbed out of his hand and he gaped, looking at Kaito.

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you acting like this? Are you having some sort of PMS? 'Coz meds can fix that," Kaito teased.

"I'm not in the mood for your games. Give me back my pen."

"What the hell is irritating you? Is it Ryo? Did something happen with him this morning before he left?"

Soubi glared at Kaito.

"Nothing happened. Quit messing around, I need that pen."

"I'll take you shopping if you tell me what the hell is bothering you."

Soubi swiped wisps of hair out of his face and sat in the closest chair. Pulling at the sleeves of his heavy sweater, he tried to work through the irritation inside him.

"I don't know. I feel unsettled. Ryo and I, we're so great right now, and then last night with his mother—

"Don't worry about her." Kaito soothed. "Ryo won't let her hurt you."

"We both know that's not true. She'll find something to use to hurt us. I'm so scared I won't be strong enough to fight her for Ryo."

"Hey!" Kaito slapped his palm on the table. "Quit that right now. Go get dressed, I'll write the fucking shopping list. And talk to Ryo about these things."

Kaito's advice while sound was hard to follow. Ryo had left him asleep this morning. Apart from a few reassurances the night before, he and Ryo hadn't discussed Sei Asada's visit. Soubi couldn't believe he had turned into a wimp before that woman. He always did, she looked down on him and made him feel like an idiot. Grabbing up a pair of jeans and shirt from his closet, he wondered if Ryo had gone to the estate.

He was brushing his hair into a low ponytail when Ryo walked into his room.

"We need to move your things into my room. I went in there looking for you," Ryo complained.

Soubi tied his hair with a black rubber band and turned to Ryo.

"I haven't gotten around to it. Too much work moving all these things into yours."

"We'll turn it into a party." Ryo stepped up beside him. "What's wrong?"

Soubi threw the brush on the bed.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Kaito says you're losing it." Ryo rubbed Soubi's arms. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Look," Soubi bit his lip unsure, and then remembered their ground rules. "Are you going back home? Coz, I'd understand if you had to, I mean your mother is—

"I'm not going anywhere." Ryo soothed. "I don't care what my mother said last night. Don't worry about me leaving."

Soubi nodded, glad to hear it although Sei Asada still frightened the fuck out of him.

"I don't want to lose you."

"Then don't think about losing me, think about keeping me."

Ryo pulled him into his arms, hugging him.

"I missed you this morning. I woke up and you were gone." Soubi felt like an idiot for saying it aloud, but he'd been so worried. He sighed. "I just missed you."

Ryo pulled off the rubber band Soubi had used to tie his hair

"You're turning that into a habit," Soubi said with a laugh as his hair tumbled down his back. "What is it like a fetish?"

"Maybe," Ryo put the rubber band on his wrist. "Are we going to be fine today? Kaito thinks you're having PMS."

"I'm going to beat his ass for that comment."

Soubi leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed Ryo's clean-shaven jaw. He smiled when Ryo took his lips in a sweet kiss.

"Come on, there's nothing to eat in the kitchen. We need to do grocery shopping. You're helping," Soubi said, when they broke apart.

"I hate the grocery store," Ryo complained.

Soubi took his hand and led him out of his bedroom.

"It will be fun. We can go to the coffee shop on the main street. They have an awesome barista."

"Are you crushing on him? Coz if you are, we won't go there."

Soubi laughed, jumping down the last stair, Ryo right behind him.

"Why would I want the barista when I have you, you big lug?"

"Hey guys," Kaito said when they reached the kitchen. "Welcome to more drama."

Soubi paused at the kitchen entrance, confused. Ryo almost bumped into Soubi from behind. Kaito stood leaning on the counter, his coffee cup still pressed to his temple.

"What's up?" Ryo asked, wrapping an arm around Soubi's shoulders pushing him into the kitchen.

"Rin's here." Kaito pointed to the guitar player seated at the kitchen table. "He wants to talk to Soubi."

****

Eleven

Ryo's arm on Soubi's shoulder tightened and Soubi winced as he stared at Rin Kouga. The man looked too good, too vital. Soubi sighed. Rin's hair was dyed deep red, and cut in a Mohawk. The burgundy t-shirt and fitted grey pants showed off Rin's strong physique. Rin's eyes had always been his defining factor. Now they were shaded with black kohl, always looking the part of lead guitarist for _Blazing Red_.

Rin wore the dark glasses hanging on the front of his t-shirt.

"We're indoors, Kouga," Ryo taunted. "I don't think you need the dark glasses."

"I don't want to be burned by all the passion rolling off you two." Rin's lips curved into a smile. "It was always so obvious. I'm jealous."

"Well, that's great. Leave." Kaito pointed to the back door.

"Kaito, I missed you." Rin turned to Kaito. "Still wearing the Furiroda shirt in this house, thought you'd be tired of being under the Asada shadow."

"I guess it's the limit of my ambitions."

Kaito sneered before he sipped the coffee he was holding on to like a talisman.

"What do you want?" Ryo asked.

"Soubi," Rin replied with a sly smile. When Ryo made a harsh sound, Rin lifted his hands in surrender. "I just want to talk to him."

"Not happening." Ryo said, holding on to Soubi.

"What, you don't only fuck him, you talk for him?" Rin asked, cocking his head to the side. "I always thought he had more balls than that."

Ryo let Soubi go and started for the kitchen table. Soubi grabbed Ryo's arm to stop him, afraid if Rin and Ryo started fighting, it might never stop.

"I'll talk to him."

"Hell no," Ryo shrugged his hold away. "You have no time for this bastard. If he has anything to say, he should say it now."

"Look at that." Rin shook his head sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms against his chest. "Soubi, I didn't think you were the type to be ruled."

"Maybe I've changed," Soubi said, glaring at Rin.

"Don't forget, Soubi. I've known you longer than these two."

Soubi pushed his hair back and wished Ryo hadn't taken his rubber band. Touching Ryo's arm, he sighed.

"Ryo, can I talk to you?"

Ryo frowned at him. Soubi gave him a pleading glance and for a moment, he thought it wouldn't happen. Then Ryo turned and led the way out of the kitchen, into the hallway.

"I can't leave you with him," Ryo said, before Soubi could even start talking. "You're not ready."

"You are not even giving me a chance." Soubi glared at him. "I can take care of myself. Rin is not going to hurt me."

"I'm not worried about him hurting you." Ryo paced the width of the hallway before he leaned on the wall. "You don't fight him off. You never have."

"I never had a reason before." Soubi grabbed Ryo's left hand and pulled off a rubber band from Ryo's wrist, marveling at the array of colors. "You need to stop stealing my rubber bands. I need to talk to Rin."

Soubi tied his hair back in a haphazard ponytail.

"You and Kaito can go grocery shopping."

"No." Ryo shook his head his dark eyes rebellious. "We're not leaving."

"You're acting as though he's going to drag me out of here."

"Isn't he?" Ryo bent his head down, hiding his eyes. "The other night you told me you couldn't let him go. You might end up going with him."

Shocked by the insecurity in Ryo's voice, Soubi took a step forward and leaned up to press kisses on Ryo's forehead.

"I love you, Ryo Asada."

"You're killing me."

"You don't have to go shopping. Just give me ten minutes with him."

"Five." Ryo bargained. "I'll barge in if you insist on ten."

Soubi chuckled.

"Fine, five, take Kaito with you to the living room."

Ryo nodded but didn't say another word.

Soubi stepped away and started for the kitchen. His heart pounding in his chest, he thought about the last time he talked to Rin. They'd been at their old apartment before Rin left. Soubi had wanted Rin to stay, he'd begged, threatened, screamed, cried...he sighed.

Soubi pushed the kitchen door open followed closely by Ryo. Kaito was putting more coffee in his cup, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

"Come on," Ryo called to Kaito.

"What about him?" Kaito nodded his head to Rin.

"Soubi has this." Ryo glanced at Soubi with a raised brow.

Soubi gave him a quick nod, hoping to show confidence where there was none. Kaito squeezed his shoulder as he passed him.

"We'll be in the living room. Just shout," Kaito said.

Soubi waited for them to leave before he took a seat across Rin.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on?" Rin asked, when they sat in silence for a full two minutes. He removed his dark glasses and placed them on the table. "We used to talk, Soubi- _chan_."

"Used to," Soubi said, meeting Rin's gaze. Those eyes were still familiar. Their softness as they studied him, nostalgic. He looked away.

"You left me, what did you think would happen?"

"I had to go, you know I had to." Rin reached out to take Soubi's hand on the table but Soubi moved it away. "I miss you."

"Miss me," Soubi scoffed shaking his head. "Please stop trying to make this about us. Why do you want to talk to me?"

"I have an offer," Rin stated, sitting back in his chair, his arms crossed against his chest.

"I'm not interested. I'm with Ryo now." Soubi declared wary of Rin's offers. "I don't think we should see each other again."

"Aren't you curious?"

"I just want you to leave."

Rin sat staring at him, and then he chuckled.

Soubi frowned when the chuckle turned into a laugh. He'd always hated it when Rin did this. Rin shook his head and pointed at him.

"You still care about me."

The statement was so matter of fact that it pissed Soubi off.

"I can see it in your eyes. Does Ryo know?"

"Why does it matter what Ryo knows?"

"I'd love to rub it in his face." Rin leaned his elbows on the kitchen table, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "We can always fuck on this table and call him in to watch. I think he'd love that."

Soubi got to his feet.

"I think we're done."

"What? You can't even take a joke anymore?" Rin didn't move to get up. "I forgot you have a quick temper. Sit down, Soubi, I'll behave."

Soubi glared at Rin wondering how they had gotten here.

"Do you know how absurd that sounds? When have you ever behaved, Rin? Always pushing the limit...you should really leave before Ryo comes to take you out."

"Sit, Soubi. I really do have a legitimate reason for looking for you. Give me a minute. If I don't make sense, you have every right to call your dog in here."

Soubi cursed under his breath. He tried not to meet Rin's gaze, but that seemed impossible. The moment he looked at Rin, the years faded away. He sat down in his chair aware that he would never be strong enough to send Rin away for good.

"Be quick," he said, irritated with his weak heart.

Rin smiled.

"Stop scowling, it's not a bad thing. We're making a music video and we need a model with long hair. Lira saw your pictures modeling for Sasha's label. She insisted I ask you. The pay is really good and it will be nationwide exposure."

Soubi bit his lip and curbed his instinct to jump at the idea.

_Lira_ , he frowned.

"I can't do it."

"Why?" Rin asked, his eyes narrowed. "I know you realize what this could mean for you. So, it has to be a stupid reason."

"Everything is stupid with you."

"Is it because of Lira?" Rin asked.

"No."

Not that he liked Lira. That little bitch loved torturing him. When he and Rin had been together, she'd gone out of her way to make him jealous. She'd kiss Rin, pull him into hugs, and whisper into Rin's ear every time he walked into the room. He could only imagine what she'd do with Ryo.

"Are you worrying about Asada?" Rin demanded with a scowl. "Do you need his permission to work too?"

"Soubi runs his career," Ryo replied behind him. "He doesn't need my permission."

Soubi almost laughed at Ryo's impatience. He wondered if five minutes had even passed.

"So, what's the problem?" Rin asked, challenging Soubi for an answer now that Ryo had come in.

Soubi stood and reached for Ryo's hand.

"I have to think about it, Rin. That's the best I can do right now. I have a busy schedule and—

"And nothing," Rin interrupted, his tone coarse. "You can always cancel those puny jobs and take ours."

"You'd better calm down." Ryo warned Rin. "If Soubi is busy, he's busy. Quit yelling. If you're finished here, I think it's time for you to leave."

Rin stood up, pushing his chair back, almost tipping it over. Soubi watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a card.

"Call me when you have your own brain."

Rin slapped the card on the table, took his sunglasses and turned to Ryo. Soubi clutched Ryo's hand tight when he felt him tense.

"Soubi is not a child. You don't have to put him on a leash. Let him think for himself."

Ryo scoffed.

"Like you did when you left him two years ago? Did you know he almost overdosed on the drugs you left him?"

"Ryo," Soubi said, squeezing Ryo's arm, not ready to think about that time. He hated what he'd turned into when Rin left. So much, he tried not to think about that first year.

"Stop, Rin is already leaving."

Rin looked at Soubi with a puzzled expression.

"What is he talking about, Soubi?"

"Nothing, it's all over." Soubi pasted on a smile. "Don't you have to be getting back to the band?"

Rin didn't move from where he stood.

"What is Ryo talking about?"

"Lira brought drugs for Soubi as per your orders, so he could deal with you leaving. You two got him high," Ryo continued in a cold tone. "Then you packed your bags while Soubi was too drugged out and you left."

"Soubi," Rin asked, his eyes wide in shock. "You told me it was fine to leave. You were smiling at me."

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Please leave," Soubi begged, letting go of Ryo's arm.

Soubi rubbed his forehead trying to clear the fog in his memories. He couldn't remember that day clearly, all he knew was that he'd been hurting. His heart, his body...Lira smiling at him, causing him more pain, he shook his head.

"Rin, go back to _Blazing Red_."

Kaito went around the table and took Rin's arm. Kaito was really strong. His grip on Rin's arm looked painful as Kaito led him out. When the door closed after Rin, Kaito let out a relieved sigh.

"His cologne was starting to stink up the house. He might have taken a shower in that shit this morning." Kaito walked to the coffee maker. "Damn it, I haven't even eaten breakfast yet."

"We were going shopping." Soubi rushed to the counter where he'd left Kaito writing the grocery list. "I have a job at two o'clock. We should make it back by then."

"Don't you want to talk about what Rin wanted?" Ryo asked.

"No." Soubi picked a black scarf he'd left on the hook behind the door and wrapped it around his neck. "Come on, Kaito is going to start eating raw vegetables if we don't feed him."

"Soubi," Ryo said, obviously miffed about him running away.

But, Soubi couldn't help it. He wasn't up to a discussion right now. He just wanted to pretend that Rin hadn't been sitting at the kitchen table offering him a job.

Kaito followed him to the door, eager for breakfast.

"Ryo, let's go, you need coffee. Everything makes sense after coffee."

***

"You're going vegetable crazy," Ryo said, when Soubi brought him more green leafy herbs. "How many of these do we actually eat?"

"A lot," Soubi said with a wide grin. "Stop complaining, I'm done."

Ryo saw Soubi reach for his wallet.

"Stop." Ryo pulled out money from his back pocket. When Soubi started frowning at him, Ryo handed the money to the lady selling them the vegetables. "The house has an expense account, Soubi. Don't start, wait until we're home or something."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

Soubi picked up one of the bags at his feet and started for the exit.

Ryo took the change from the smiling lady, took the other two bag of groceries and hurried after Soubi.

"Are you really not going to tell me what Rin wanted?"

"Later," Soubi said with a negligent shrug. "Why did you have to bring up how you found me with him?"

"He had to know at some point. I can't stand it that he keeps acting like he's saving you."

Ryo adjusted the bags until he was holding them with his right hand. He placed his left arm over Soubi's shoulder and slowed him down.

"I might have been a little jealous. I thought it would make him leave faster."

"There's nothing to be jealous about." Soubi slowed down his pace until they were strolling along the narrow street. "I'll tell you what Rin wanted later, I promise. Where is Kaito?"

"Ando, his friend from the market, called him."

"I remember him. Ando always has the best jeans. We should pass by, I might get some."

"Sure, after we've had coffee. This has been one strange morning."

They turned downed a second street and almost bumped into Kaito.

"Whoa, what's up?" Ryo steadied his friend worried when he noted Kaito's disturbed expression. "Is everything alright?"

"Are you done with the vegetables? I really need a good cup of coffee," Kaito said.

"Yeah," Soubi smiled and held up the bag he was holding. "Why don't we go to Susumu's place?"

Soubi loved that cafe. Ryo had a feeling it had to do with the art on the coffee. The baristas could draw anything you wanted in your coffee. They started for Ballon d'Essai Café and Kaito got a cigarette from his pocket.

"What's going on with Ando?" Ryo asked.

"He closed his shop. He wanted to know if we can keep some stuff for him at Furiroda until he can get them." Kaito shook his head. "I can't believe they're really tearing the market down."

The government wanted to build a new train station where the old Shimokitazawa market was and many people had given up their shops.

"What is Ando going to do?" Ryo asked.

"Find another shop, or move to Daikanyama," Kaito said sadly. "I don't like change very much, why can't they leave it alone."

"Maybe we can help," Soubi said, slipping his hand into Kaito's. "We can help Ando find a shop."

"That's one person. What about all the rest of the shops they're making them give up?" Kaito shook his head. "I think it's unfair to make people give up their way of making a living for a new modern building. What was wrong with the old one?"

"Oh, Kai," Soubi said, pulling him to a stop. Ryo watched Soubi give Kaito a long hug then they pulled apart. "It's going to be okay."

Kaito shook his head and took in a deep breath. Ryo didn't know what to say. The sadness Kaito was feeling was easy to understand. Shimokitazawa was changing. The rustic, historical town was disappearing quickly giving way to the intruding modern world. There were going to be many more Ando's.

Ruffling Kaito's wild hair, Ryo gave him a small smile.

"Ando can keep his stuff at the shop for as long as he wants. I'll make some calls and see if we can get him space in Daikanyama."

"Yeah," Soubi beamed at Ryo making his heart flip at the bright smile. "Ryo will fix it, he always does."

"Is that your solution to everything, Soubi- _chan_?" Kaito asked, his cigarette dangling at the corner of his mouth.

"Most things, except this." Soubi pulled the cigarette out of Kaito's mouth. "Making you quit smoking is turning into a trial by fire. These sticks will kill you, Kai."

"My grandfather is still alive and he's been smoking forever." Kaito countered glaring at Soubi. "Give it back."

"No." Soubi rushed to a trashcan and dumped the stick. "There, now you can't smoke it."

Kaito rushed after him and Soubi laughed, running backward to escape Kaito. Ryo followed them at a more sedate pace smiling when Kaito caught up with Soubi. He couldn't help laughing when Kaito's punishment was to tickle Soubi mercilessly.

Soubi convulsed into hysterical laughs that had the few pedestrians walking by smiling too. A cold breeze whipped by nipping at Ryo's clean shaven jaw, but it didn't stop Kaito and Soubi from their antics.

Ryo pushed away his worries about Rin and his mother as he caught up to them. Kaito took the grocery bags from Soubi and they headed for the coffee shop.

****

Twelve

"No way," Ryo said with a set jaw. "You're not taking Rin's job. In fact, you should stop modeling. What else would you like to do?"

"Stop being a bastard." Soubi stuffed socks and underwear into a small bag. "You told Rin I run my career. Why the hell are we fighting about it?"

"He's offering you a job. I know how big _Blazing Red_ is, Soubi. If you accepted their job offer, you'd get enormous exposure." Ryo cursed under his breath and kicked at the box he was filling with shoes. "Why the hell do you have so many shoes?"

"I get gifts." Soubi closed the bag and threw it on his bed. "And figure out whether you're trying to stop me or urging me to take the job."

"I'd be happier if it didn't matter to you. I hate that you feel you have to model—

"What do you want me to do? Sit around all day tending the house? Oh, may be you want me to stay at Furiroda watching you and Kaito fulfill your dreams. Is that what you mean by quitting?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth." Ryo glared at him. "This is about Rin offering you a job like he knows what's best for you."

"Did I say I was going to take it? Did I?" Soubi grabbed his clothes from the bed and stalked to the closet. He dumped them on a shelf. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to move in to your room."

"Who's being childish now?" Ryo picked up the box of shoes and headed for the door.

"Put that down. I'm not moving in to your room." Soubi ordered running after Ryo when he didn't even pause. "Ryo, I'm not going to—,"

He gasped when he got to Ryo's room.

All his shoes were dumped in the corner of Ryo's master bedroom. Ryo waved the box at him.

"Fine you stay in your room. I'll hold your shoes hostage."

Soubi stared at the mass of shoes noting his favorite pair of Nikes in the furthest corner.

"Fine, keep them, do what you want with them."

Soubi left Ryo's room and rushed downstairs. He'd been stupid to tell Ryo about the job Rin was offering. He should have kept it to himself.

"What a stubborn idiot. Why is it a big deal?" he murmured under his breath. "It's not like I'm running off with Rin."

"Soubi," Ryo said, once Soubi got to the bottom of the stairs. He looked up to find Ryo watching him from the second floor. "Where are you going?"

"If you hadn't noticed it's almost nine o'clock. I have an appointment with a motorcycle company. Do you listen to me when I tell you my schedule?"

Ryo frowned. "We're not done discussing Rin's offer."

"I think we are."

Soubi headed for the living room where he'd left his jacket and gloves. He hated the cold so much and the temperatures were dropping everyday. Christmas time was rolling in next week, and he didn't want to be without cash. Especially since he wanted to get something special for Ryo and Kaito, he paused in the act of pulling on his jacket. He also needed to visit Grandma. He zipped up his heavy jacket and wore his gloves.

"I'll be home around four o'clock," Soubi said to Ryo. "Text me if you need anything from the supermarket."

***

Ryo headed back into Soubi's room taking in the mess they'd created in the past three hours. He'd woken up this morning determined to make sure Soubi's stuff was in his room. Their discussion about Rin's job offer had blindsided him.

He picked up the bag packed with Soubi's socks. His gaze on the clothes dumped on a shelf in the closet. How did one person own so many clothes? He sighed. Well, since he'd started the fight about Rin, he was going to make sure all of Soubi's things were in the master bedroom. He'd deal with convincing Soubi to stay when they got home in the evening.

It took him the next three hours to completely move and arrange Soubi's clothes in his room. He arranged the shoes he'd dumped on the floor and cleared a set of drawers to place Soubi's underwear and socks beside his. Once he was finished, he reached for a suitcase Soubi had packed first.

Setting it on his bed, Ryo opened it and frowned when he discovered books and files. They looked like important documents, so he sat on the bed and picked a blue file at the top. It was filled with legal documents. Soubi's birth certificate, his family registry, his parents' death certificates. Ryo paused when he got to these documents. The Tanakas had died in a tragic accident on the highway. Their son's care had gone to Soubi's mother's aunt.

Ryo closed the folder and put it aside. The next folder was filled with Soubi's school certificates. He found grade reports from kindergarten, elementary, junior high and high school. Soubi's mother had probably started the filing system. He found little smiley faces drawn on the bottom of the reports with a small 'love you' signature. The signatures stopped in the middle of Junior High. The grades plummeted in the final year of junior high, although not too drastically. Soubi was smart. Judging from the constant flows of As, Soubi had found school easy. Even in high school, his grades hadn't suffered, but he'd not gone beyond that.

Ryo placed the folder on his lap and searched through the suitcase. There were notebooks, and portfolios of Soubi's previous jobs. He paused when he got to a picture album feeling no remorse as he pulled it out of the pile. The album was filled with pictures of Soubi and his parents. The pictures carefully preserved under plastic. He went through them with a lump in his throat. Soubi's parents had loved him dearly. Love shone in the way they held Soubi, they'd both walked him to school on his first day, all the way to graduation from elementary school too.

Ryo wondered what Soubi had been like those days. His dark hair cut to his shoulders, his smile ready and spotting innocent dark eyes. The album ended after Soubi's entrance picture into Junior High School. He was about to close the album when he saw the inscription on the first cover. It read: _'Our Soubi's memories._ '

Ryo touched the words with a sigh before he closed the album and placed it on top of the file on his lap. He wondered if his mother had a similar album hidden in her closet. He'd be surprised to find it.

A thick brown hard cover note book at the bottom caught his attention.

Ryo pulled it out and moved the album off his lap to make room for the book. He snapped it open and smiled wide when he read the first page. Soubi's name was written with flourish and little stars inked in with a red pen. He promised himself that if it was a diary, he'd only read the parts about them.

Turning the page, he frowned when he read 'chapter one' instead of a date.

I remember the day we met. The memory is so clear like water flowing from a mountain spring. You, my love, sat on a bench in the park reading Odysseus. Your thoughts so clearly engrossed in Greek mythology, you didn't notice when I sat beside you. A smile tugged at my lips when the wind whipped your hair into your face. You pushed it back in irritation, barely giving a thought to the elegant sweep of your hand into thick dark tresses. My heart squeezed in response, wanting that privilege, imagining what it would be to run my fingers through your hair. Feel the silky soft strands sift through my fingers. I envied your fingers dipping into your hair, pushing it back, the action so negligent. I embedded that moment in my heart, my memories. I can never forget...

Ryo turned the page to make sure he was really reading Soubi's words. He'd never imagined Soubi could write. He settled back on the bed and continued reading.

***

"I'm going to kill you, Ryo." Kaito interrupted his concentration, right when the lovers were separating again. "You want to tell me you've been lying on your bed all day?"

Ryo glanced up from his reading and frowned at Kaito.

"What do you mean all day? It's only been a couple of hours."

"A couple?" Kaito scoffed, waving his cell phone at Ryo.

He looked disgruntled in a pair of jeans and a long sweater. His wild hair was sticking up like he'd been pulling on it all day.

"It's almost three o'clock in the afternoon."

"Three?"

Ryo sat up, his gaze on the suitcase and the documents on the corner of the bed. Soubi couldn't find his suitcase opened. He scrambled off the bed and dumped the folders and album back into the suitcase. Taking the hard cover book, he sighed when he realized he wouldn't get to know the ending of the story. It had gotten so good and if Kaito hadn't interrupted him, he'd have gotten to the end.

"What's that?" Kaito demanded.

"An unexpected surprise," Ryo replied, as he placed the notebook into the suitcase reluctantly. "What's the problem?"

"Soubi called me 'coz he couldn't get a hold of you. Where is your phone?"

Ryo patted his pockets.

"I must have left it in Soubi's room. Is he alright?"

"He's fine. He was just checking in." Kaito shrugged and started out of the master bedroom. "He says you two were fighting about Rin in the morning."

Ryo carried the suitcase to the closet and leaned it against the door.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. Shit, the day has gone so fast. I wanted to drive by the gallery later to get the orders that have come in."

"Which brings me to the second reason I've been trying to reach you," Kaito said as they walked into Soubi's room. "Your brother dropped off merchandise at the shop. He sent his men to bring the crates. I don't like it."

"What merchandise?" Ryo looked around the room trying to remember where he'd kept his cell phone.

"They're in crates behind the shop. Sealed tight, they won't let me open them."

Kaito dialed his number and they waited for his phone to ring.

"I've told him not to do that." A jumble of guitars filled the room from the closet. Ryo found his cell phone sitting on the empty shelf. "Who brought the goods? Are you sure they work for Asada?"

Kaito frowned.

"I've never seen them before. They were scary looking though. I closed the shop and rushed to find you. I figured you'd have called me if your brother was bringing you crates."

"Shit," Ryo went through his missed calls and frowned when he found ten from Soubi. "I gotta call Soubi. Let's go back to the store."

"Are you sure you shouldn't just call Tohaku and tell him to take his crates?" Kaito shuddered as they headed out of Soubi's empty room. "I don't know what he's up to but the kind of people he's hanging with are scary."

"I've warned him before."

Ryo shook his head as they went down the stairs. The orders from the museum would have to wait until later. They left the house, Ryo took the car incase he got time to drive down to the museum.

"I can't believe he's still getting involved in that crap. Last time we almost got in trouble with the police with the shit he brought to the shop."

"I hate to say it but your mother might be right about your big brother." Kaito shifted in the passenger seat to look at him. "Tohaku doesn't know when to say no. He's always involving himself in dirty deals. What is going to happen when he is ruling the Asada Empire?"

"That's not my problem. _Otoo-san_ can leave it all to the second wife." ( _father)_

Ryo turned the car on to their shop's street and pulled into parking. He paid for a ticket and they hurried to the shop.

"We both know that's not happening, second wife might be prettier than your mother, but she has no sons." Kaito pulled at the sleeves of his sweater as they approached the shop. "Your father is all about the bloodline. He's going to have to talk to Tohaku before you all end up in jail for working with the _yakuza_."

Ryo almost laughed at that comment but he stopped when he saw the front doors of the Furiroda shop. The padlock Kaito used for the metal grate was on the floor destroyed. The metal door behind that was open and stood ajar. Ryo pushed Kaito behind him and opened the door slowly to look inside. The shelves were intact, the racks still standing. Kaito clung to his arm as they edged their way into the shop. It didn't look like an obvious robbery; maybe their thief had just hit the register.

Kaito's grip tightened on his arm when they got to the back room entrance. Ryo tried to shake Kaito's hand off, but Kaito wouldn't let go. Ryo peeped into the workshop his heart pounding. He couldn't see anyone but it didn't mean the room was empty. He looked around the main shop for a weapon and sighed when he couldn't find one. Kaito let go of him and reached behind the check out counter. A minute later, he held out a bamboo _Shinai_.

Great, all they had for a weapon was a Kendo sword.

Ryo took the weapon and hoped their thief was a small short man. He motioned Kaito to stay put. Holding the wooden sword tightly, he stepped into the workshop, pressed against the wall as he took in the open room. There was nothing missing, so obviously they hadn't been robbed, but the back door was open.

Glad there wasn't anyone in the back room, Ryo walked as silently as possible to the heavy glass door. The lock was still intact because it could be opened from the inside. He stepped out into the small fenced back area and frowned when he only found empty cartons and product wraps, which they still hadn't cleared.

Kaito appeared after a moment shivering slightly.

"They took the crates."

" _They_ , is definitely not my brother's people."

Ryo cursed under his breath and stormed back into the workshop. He threw the wooden sword on the worktable and reached for his cell phone.

Tohaku answered on the first ring.

"Ryo, I've been trying to reach you all day."

"You and I need to talk. I told you I don't want to be involved in your bullshit. Someone just broke into the shop. Kaito and I found the lock destroyed."

"What are you saying?" Tohaku panicked. "Where the hell was Kaito?"

"I'm glad he wasn't here. They were fast and efficient, if they'd found the shop open, I'd be taking Kaito to a hospital. They wouldn't have left him standing. I warned you, Tohaku. What the fuck are you doing involving yourself with those bastards?"

"It's complicated." Tohaku sighed, defeated. "I owe a favor and father has me under a leash. I'm sorry about the locks. I'll have them replaced."

"I don't give a fuck about replacing locks. Are you listening, Tohaku? I don't want to be involved with your shady business."

"That's rich, Ryo. You don't know the kind of stress I'm under. I'm trying to save my girlfriend from—

"No excuses either."

Ryo hang up and looked around his workshop. They needed more security. Those bastards had gotten in so easily. How was he supposed to run a business with his brother forever dragging him into trouble? What if Soubi and Kaito had been in here?

"Kaito call the locksmith. We need new locks and a security system."

"Gladly," Kaito rushed out to the main shop. "Call Soubi, tell him to come to the shop."

His brother called again and Ryo stared at the ringing phone for a minute before he answered.

"What?"

"Don't call the police. I mean it, Ryo. I don't need that kind of heat."

"What would I even say the thieves stole? I wasn't here when your men dropped those crates off. What was in them anyway? Why didn't your men let Kaito check them?"

"You weren't picking up your phone. Just calm down. I'll drive down to Shimokita."

"Don't bother." Ryo kicked a chair in aggravation. "Deal with your shit, Tohaku, I don't need it."

Ryo hung up and was going to throw the phone on the table when it buzzed again. He bit back an angry curse when he saw Soubi's name and answered the phone.

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Are you pissed off about the fight this morning? Is that why you won't answer my calls?" Soubi asked, without a hello.

"No." Ryo could barely remember their argument now. "Lord no, I misplaced my phone. Where are you?"

"Just got off the train. I wanted to know if you needed me to—

"Come to the shop."

"Ryo," Soubi gasped.

"Come straight to the shop."

Soubi ended the call and Ryo stuck his cell into his pocket. He went into the main shop to find Kaito checking their cash register.

"Did they touch the cash?"

"Nope," Kaito closed the register and leaned on the counter. "What do you think is in those crates? I mean they risked being caught in broad daylight to steal merchandise that didn't belong to them."

Ryo arranged t-shirts on a rack his thoughts running wild. He hoped the crates weren't filled with drugs. If they were, Tohaku would be in more trouble than he was letting on.

"They weren't risking anything, Kaito. If they'd found the shop open, you'd probably be in hospital. I mean that."

"What are you saying?"

"Tohaku says he owes a debt, something about his girlfriend. That can only mean syndicate."

"Shit, I told you it was _yakuza_. He's never going to learn. What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," Ryo said quietly. "I can't risk Soubi or you."

"Tohaku is going to get in deeper. You know how he is, those crates being stolen from us, its bad luck."

Ryo rubbed his left temple and paced between racks. The last time he'd bailed Tohaku out of a similar situation, he'd ended up spending a month at his father's side in the Asada estate. His father called it compromise, ' _give and take'_.

"Let's not talk about this anymore." Ryo stopped pacing and looked at Kaito. "We'll fix the locks, and get an alarm system. I'll act as though nothing happened. Forget you saw Tohaku's men today."

"But Ryo," Kaito frowned.

"Forget it, for all our sakes." Ryo ordered, his jaw clenched. "I can't afford that kind of trouble right now."

"He's your brother." Kaito pointed out. "The only one you have."

Ryo shrugged. "I've bailed him out a million times already, Kaito. I've given him everything already. I've stepped away from the Asada name for his sake. I can't get involved."

Soubi rushed into the shop panting hard. He'd obviously run from the station, his brow coated with sweat. Ryo gave Kaito a warning glance before he turned to his lover.

"Hey," he said, smiling when Soubi's frantic gaze swept over him.

"Are you alright? You sounded worried on the phone. Did something happen?" Soubi came to hug him, arms wrapping around him tightly.

"I'm fine," Ryo said, breathing in Soubi's warm scent. Soubi trembled slightly as he held him. "I'm sorry I missed your calls."

"You need to put a leash on your phone. We can hang it on your neck so that you stop acting like an old man." Soubi teased pressing a soft kiss on his jaw. "Now tell me why you and Kaito are facing off."

"Facing off?" Ryo smiled as Soubi stepped back. He glanced at Kaito. "We're not facing off."

"You are too. Kaito is wearing his serious face." Soubi held his right hand tightly.

"Someone broke into the shop." Kaito explained with a shrug. "We're arguing about getting an alarm system that calls the police."

"Oh my goodness, what is there to argue? Get one, today," Soubi exclaimed. "What did they take?"

"Nothing, someone scared them off," Kaito said glancing at Ryo. "We were lucky."

"Thank God." Soubi sighed leaning on Ryo. "Are you alright? I mean—, it can be unnerving to have your place violated like this."

"We're fine. Kaito was holding on to my arm shaking. You should have seen him."

Soubi sighed and leaned up to kiss Ryo sweetly.

"I'm sorry this happened. Is there anything I can do? Did you guys eat?"

Ryo held onto Soubi for a moment. His eyes closed as he buried his nose into Soubi's hair. He tried not to think of what would have happened if Soubi had really been at the shop.

"I'm okay with you modeling, Soubi."

"I know." Soubi soothed. "I'm not taking Rin's job, alright? So don't worry about that."

Ryo nodded. "I moved your stuff into my room."

Soubi laughed against his neck.

"I figured you might. Did you read my diary too?"

Ryo bit back a gasp. Soubi let go of him and shook his head in amusement.
"I'm sure you did, we'll talk about your boundary issues later, Ryo Asada. For now, I think I'll feed you two."

"I want a hug too." Kaito complained coming around the counter. "It was a horrible experience for me too. Can you imagine what would have happened to me if I'd been here?"

Soubi shook his head, pulling off his gloves and sticking them into his jacket pocket.

"Your hair would have scared the thieves away."

"Stop being mean," Kaito complained as Soubi pulled off his heavy jacket and threw it over the counter.

"Well, I'm glad you weren't here." Soubi hugged Kaito tightly. "Who knows what they'd have done. Did you call the police?"

Ryo frowned. "No need, if they try again we'll do that."

"You have to report it." Soubi let go of Kaito and turned to glare at him. "What if they come back at night?"

"We'll have an alarm on, so, I'm pretty sure the cops will come the next time." Kaito assured. "Let's go make coffee. All the adrenaline is disappearing, I might start shaking. It won't be pretty if I fall. Are you going to pick me up?"

"I'll find a blanket and cover you." Soubi retorted as they walked into the back room. "Who would dare try to steal from Furiroda?"

Ryo wiped a hand down his face. He cursed Tohaku for forcing him to keep secrets from Soubi. It was better this way, not involving Soubi in Tohaku's drama was the best way to keep him safe.

_Damn Tohaku_.

"Ryo," Soubi said, appearing at the workshop doorway. "Stop thinking and come have some coffee. I've ordered food from the noodle shop."

Soubi held out his hand with a small smile. Ryo couldn't help taking it, his thoughts momentarily filled with the story Soubi had written. The two lovers who'd had only a month together before they had to part and go their separate ways. Soubi's fingers were warm against his, warming his heart.

Ryo couldn't give up this feeling for anything, not even his brother, he thought in panic.

Tohaku, who had protected him all his life, kept him out of the Asada family clutches. He prayed that the gods would protect his brother.

It was selfish but he couldn't risk losing Soubi. He couldn't risk losing his heart.

****

Thirteen

"What did you read?" Soubi asked on a soft gasp.

Ryo trailed kisses on his chest, licking at his nipples gently, and then continued down to his stomach.

"Your story with the two lovers who end up in different continents," Ryo said, dusting kisses on Soubi's flat stomach. "Anyone I know?"

Soubi sunk his fingers into Ryo's coal black hair. "It was just a story."

"I doubt that. It felt personal. Your words were sad, wistful." Ryo licked his navel and blew softly on the wet spot.

Soubi closed his eyes, a thrilling charge coursed through him. He adjusted his head on the pillows on Ryo's bed. A single lamp in the corner provided the only light in the large room.

They'd stayed at the shop until nine o'clock while the locksmith worked and Kaito helped him install the alarm. After a short dinner, they all returned home ready to turn in.

"It was a story I started writing two years ago. The psychiatrist you made me see encouraged me to write it." Soubi combed his fingers through Ryo's hair. "She called it an escape from my pain."

"Who are the lovers then?" Ryo laid his head on Soubi's stomach his tone gentle. "Were you writing about Rin?"

Soubi loved the weight of Ryo on him. It felt reassuring, anchoring him to the world.

"Maybe Rin, another part could have been you. Or maybe it was my fantasy lover."

"Your lovers end up separated, Soubi. They're on different continents, facing marriage and obligations they can't exactly leave behind." Ryo shifted and propped his head on his left hand to look at him. "Don't you think that's sad?"

"It is," Soubi said. "In my defense, I haven't been anything but sad in the past few years, and the story is not finished. I don't know what the ending is yet."

"Are you sad now?" Ryo asked quietly, trailing fingers on Soubi's stomach to the band of his grey briefs.

They both watched his index finger trace the elastic band.

"Obviously not with you doing that." Soubi winked when Ryo lifted his right brow wanting an answer. "Yes, I'm happy. I'm so happy, I'm scared."

"What's there to be scared about?" Ryo demanded kissing his navel.

Soubi jerked when Ryo started tickling him. He started laughing as Ryo got on his knees and started tickling him in earnest. No matter how much he tried to escape Ryo's expert fingers, he couldn't.

"Oh my God, you have to stop now! I'm going to pee myself," Soubi begged in between laughs.

"Not until you say uncle," Ryo said, moving his fingers to Soubi's armpits.

"Uncle," he cried. "Uncle, I surrender!"

Ryo wrapped his arms around him and rolled over to his back taking Soubi with him. Soubi ended up lying on Ryo, their lips locked in a kiss. He moaned as his body woke up, demanding Ryo's attention.

Ryo cupped his jaw and broke their kiss.

"Surrender your love to me, Soubi."

"I do," he replied with a small smile. He pressed a kiss on Ryo's jaw, and another one on Ryo's forehead. "You're turning me into a sappy fool. Do you know that?"

"Do you hate it?"

Soubi chuckled.

"No, I love it." He studied Ryo's lips. "Make love to me, Ryo."

Ryo answered with an abrupt kiss, his mouth smothering Soubi's gasp. They were naked in minutes, rolling on burgundy sheets. Ryo did his best to drive him mad with need. He cried out Ryo's name when Ryo took him in his mouth, sucking him to completion. His fingers dug into the sheets when Ryo slid his finger inside him and teased him again and again, until he begged for relief.

When Ryo finally took him, sliding his hot hard length into him, Soubi's moans filled the room. Ryo gripped his hips and surged into him hard. Soubi wrapped his arms around Ryo's shoulders, gasping, begging, until there was only Ryo in the world.

"Please," he cried wildly. _Please, Please._

"Please this?" Ryo asked roughly, his cock stroking over that magical spot inside him.

"Yes."

Soubi trembled, his legs wrapped around Ryo's waist as Ryo captured his ecstatic moans in his mouth. Their mouths fusing as Ryo reached a hand between them to stroke his cock. They came together, wild cries filling the room as their kiss broke and he bit Ryo's shoulder the world coming apart.

****

Soubi woke up hours later to a dark room and the covers pulled up over his shoulders. Ryo slept under him, an arm thrown over Soubi's shoulder possessively. He stayed still for a moment savoring their shared heat. Ryo's quiet breathing comforting, his steady heartbeat settling his own, but not completely.

He frowned.

A foreign sound had disrupted his sleep. He untangled their legs pushing hair out of his face as he moved Ryo's hand slowly.

He wasn't sure what had woken him but—,

Ryo rubbed his nose and shifted to the side seeking him out. Soubi caressed Ryo's shadowed jaw, and watched him settle. Pulling the covers higher over Ryo, Soubi wondered what had woken him.

He reached for Ryo's robe hanging carelessly over the edge of the bed. Pulling it on, he sat on the edge of the bed and breathed in Ryo's lingering scent. Taking a rubber band from the bedside table, he tied his hair up in a ponytail and strode out of their bedroom on bare feet.

The house was silent save for the hum of the refrigerator. The microwave in the kitchen told him it was almost four o'clock in the morning. Nothing seemed out of place, shrugging off his worry, he decided to drink some water and go back to bed.

Soubi got a glass from the rack and was just about to fill it with water when a soft sound on the kitchen door startled him. The glass dropped into the sink with a thud and he froze where he stood. Thoughts of the burglars at the Furiroda shop filled his head. Heart pounding, he wondered if he shouldn't call out for Ryo and Kaito.

Soubi bit back fear and took a step toward the door in case he was going nuts. Who would be knocking on the door at four o'clock in the morning? He pushed the blinds up and a loud gasp escaped when a dark figure filled the doorway on the other side. He choked on a scream staring at the figure pressing against the door.

He hit the security light with trembling fingers, his body frozen in place. It took a few more minutes to recognize Tohaku Asada staring at him, dark eyes dazed.

"Open the door, Soubi," Tohaku said, his voice low, his skin pale.

Soubi reached for the lock on the door, turning it slowly, he opened the door.

"Tohaku _-san_ ," he managed, his heart beating wildly. He pushed the door open and moved to allow Tohaku into the kitchen. Turning on the overhead lights. "I'll get Ryo."

Tohaku was in a heavy black jacket and a black wool hat pulled down over his forehead. His right hand pressed to his stomach, gloved fingers clamped tight.

Soubi started to turn expecting Tohaku to follow him. He jumped when Tohaku grabbed his shoulder and started falling. Surprised, Soubi wrapped tight arms around Tohaku and tried to hold him up. He couldn't manage the dead weight, especially when Tohaku closed his eyes in a dead faint. Soubi gave a sharp cry when they hit the wooden floor hard.

"Soubi," Ryo said, running into the room. "Are you alright?"

"I need help with your brother."

Ryo came around the kitchen table and gasped when he saw them on the floor.

"What the hell?" Ryo came to kneel beside them and pulled off Tohaku's black wool hat, tapping Tohaku's jaw gently. " _Nii-chan_ , wake up."

"He just fell on me when I opened the door." Soubi settled Tohaku's head on his lap and brushed dark hair from Tohaku's face. He pressed a palm to Tohaku's forehead. "He's running a fever."

Ryo glared at Soubi as he started unzipping Tohaku's jacket.

"You should have woken me if you heard a knock. How can you come down here alone?"

"I didn't want to wake you for nothing."

Soubi frowned as he noted that Tohaku's right glove was wet. He reached out to touch the fabric and gasped when his fingers came away with blood.

"Ryo, he's bleeding."

Ryo cursed under his breath and pulled the jacket zipper open. They both gasped at the considerable patch of red on Tohaku's white shirt. Ryo grabbed the fabric, pulling it up to reveal two stab wounds on Tohaku's left lower stomach, blood trickled down from the wounds.

"Shit." Ryo cursed, staring at the wounds. "What the hell is going on with you Tohaku?"

Soubi carefully rested Tohaku's head on the floor and got to his feet.

"We need to call for help. He's going to bleed out."

Soubi rushed out of the kitchen, hurrying up the stairs. He threw open the linen closet and grabbed a bunch of clean towels. He hoped they'd be enough. Running down the corridor, he knocked on Kaito's door.

"Kaito, we need help. Wake up."

Soubi didn't wait to find out if Kaito was awake. He ran to the bathroom, and dragged out a first aid kit from the cupboard. He ran back down the hall.

"What's with all the noise?" Kaito said appearing at his door.

"Call 119, we need an ambulance. Tohaku's bleeding out on the kitchen floor."

Kaito rushed back into his room.

Soubi ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Ryo pressing a kitchen towel into Tohaku's wounds.

"Wake up, you bastard," Ryo was saying, using one hand to shake his brother's shoulder. "You have to tell me who did this. I'm going to kill them. I'm going to fucking kill them."

Tohaku coughed, his head rolling to the side. Soubi placed one of the thick towels under Tohaku's head. Ryo's hands were covered with blood. Dark eyes frantic with worry, Ryo reached up to touch Tohaku's shoulder.

"Please, wake up, Tohaku. I need to know how this happened."

"We need to keep pressure on the wounds. Kaito is calling for help."

Soubi opened the first aid kit looking for the bandages he'd bought a few days ago. It paid to keep up a first aid kit, but he wasn't equipped to deal with these kinds of wounds. He ripped the white bandages open, as Ryo took away the kitchen towel. Fresh blood flowed out as Tohaku coughed and Soubi pressed bandages to the raw wounds. The blood soaking them fast, he added more, and when he ran out, he added the towels, urging Ryo to add pressure.

Kaito came running into the kitchen.

"The ambulance is on its way. They're five minutes away, what happened?"

"I don't know," Soubi said, taking over from Ryo when he tried to wake Tohaku again. "I opened the door, and he was just standing there."

"Tohaku," Ryo tapped his brother's jaw, his fingers leaving blood marks on Tohaku's jaw. "Come on wake up, _Nii-chan_ , please."

Tohaku coughed again and Soubi worriedly glanced at Kaito. Ryo cradled his brother's head when Tohaku opened his eyes.

"Ryo," Tohaku whispered. "I'm so glad to see your face."

Ryo's voice shook as he spoke.

"What happened? Who did this to you?"

Kaito came to kneel beside Ryo, placing a reassuring hand on Ryo's shoulder. They all watched as Tohaku sucked in air, fighting through pain. Soubi kept pressure against Tohaku's stomach, worried about the blood already soaking the towel.

"I wanted to fix it. I didn't want them to look for you, Ryo." Tohaku lifted his hand trying to touch Ryo's jaw. "I'm sorry."

"Who did it?" Ryo demanded, his jaw clenched, he turned to Kaito. "Where's the fucking ambulance, tell them to hurry!"

"I'm not going to make it." Tohaku closed his eyes and Soubi felt his stomach dip in fear. "I waited too long, had to make sure I got them all."

"What are you talking about?" Ryo asked, his voice tinged with panic. "You're going to be fine."

Tohaku chuckled, only it wasn't a chuckle, it sounded like another cough.

"Now you're lying to me. Those bastards got me good, I can feel it. It took me hours to drive here."

Ryo stroked his brother's jaw.

"Rest, _Nii-chan_ , the ambulance is almost here. We'll get you fixed up and you can tell the police this story. We're going to get them."

Tohaku took in a deep breath, his hand dropping to the floor.

"You were always stronger than me, Ryo," Tohaku said. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry about?" Ryo chastised his grip on his brother's shoulders tight. "Stop talking already, you need to preserve your strength. Where the hell is this ambulance?"

Soubi reached for more towels, praying hard as he pressed them over the soaked one as hard as he could. As long as he kept up pressure, the blood was supposed to clot and stop the bleeding. His gown was stained red from kneeling on Tohaku's bloody jacket. Obviously, Tohaku had been bleeding long before he got to the house.

Ryo was murmuring nonsense to his brother, urging him to hold on. The ambulance sirens broke into Soubi's focus and he almost breathed a sigh of relief. Kaito came running in a few minutes later followed by two medics. They took over and Soubi got to his feet. Ryo refused to move from Tohaku who was now unconscious again.

"We need Ryo's wallet." Kaito urged, touching Soubi's shoulder. "All the insurance documents are in his wallet. Go get them. Change, Soubi, we need to follow the ambulance."

Soubi couldn't move as the medics kept working over Tohaku. They were cutting off Tohaku's shirt, they tried to push Ryo out of the way, but he was refusing to move.

"Go," Kaito ordered, giving Soubi a hard shake. "Dress Soubi. Get Ryo's wallet, keep it together."

Soubi jerked his head back to Kaito, and then with a small nod, he rushed out of the kitchen. Upstairs in their room, he ignored the rumpled covers, wondering why he hadn't heard the knock earlier. Why hadn't he just opened the door faster—,

He tried to think why Kaito had sent him up here.

Soubi pulled off the gown and grabbed his jeans and a t-shirt from the floor. His hands were shaking as he reached for Ryo's wallet on the table by the window. He stuffed that into his pocket and took Ryo's cell phone and his too.

He looked around for his jacket. Where the hell had he put his jacket?

"Soubi," Kaito called from downstairs.

He gave up on the jacket and instead grabbed the t-shirt on the armchair. Ryo was going to need one. He left the bedroom running down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. Kaito was standing outside holding the car keys.

"Ryo's gone with the ambulance. We'll follow in Ryo's car."

***

"Who was Tohaku with when he was stabbed?" the Police Inspector asked again.

"I don't know." Ryo shook his head. "I've told you, my boyfriend opened the kitchen door and he was standing there. We were asleep. I haven't seen my brother in a while."

"Soubi Tanaka was the first one to see your brother?" the Inspector asked. "Could he have—

"Soubi has nothing to do with my brother's stabbing. They haven't even met formally. Why are you wasting time asking me questions?"

Ryo stood up from the hospital chair to glare at the inspector.

"You should be out there, finding out who did this. My brother is fighting for his life because of a bastard out there."

"I'm trying to clear you and your housemates." The Inspector assured him. "I think we're done for now. Your brother's car was found in your driveway. There was blood on the driver's seat and the backseat. He obviously had a passenger. I'll keep you posted as we learn more."

Ryo sighed and ran fingers through his hair. He left the small waiting room, worried that he might have missed an update on his brother. Down the quiet hospital halls, he found the room they'd been asked to wait in. He found Kaito pacing the length of the room, and Soubi standing in the corner staring out the windows.

"Ryo," Sei Asada cried, making him turn to find his mother seated at one of the blue wide couches. She hurried to his side pulling him into a tight hug. "I heard you were with the police, your brother is still in surgery."

"Mother," Ryo murmured, his gaze on Soubi over her shoulder.

They hadn't had a moment alone since they'd reached the hospital. The whirlwind of hospital paperwork, questions from nurses about Tohaku's medical history, and then the police had arrived soon after to ask questions.

Soubi had brought him a t-shirt, and flat leather sandals. At some point when the police arrived, Soubi pressed a cup of coffee into his hands.

"Your hands," Sei said as she pulled back. "Are you hurt too?"

Ryo frowned not wanting to let go of Soubi's gaze. He glanced at his hands reluctantly to find dry blood on them. He hadn't gotten the chance to wash Tohaku's blood off.

"It's not mine."

Sei nodded. She pulled him to the couch she'd vacated and urged him to sit beside her as they waited. Soubi leaned on the windows, holding his gaze, giving him strength to keep holding his mother's hand.

His father walked in just as the doctor arrived. Kaito moved to stand beside Soubi in the corner and Ryo stood beside his mother as they bowed in greeting to Katsuro Asada.

"Mr. Asada." The doctor started his tone solemn. "I'm sorry to inform you that your son didn't make it—

Sei shook her head in denial. "No!"

Katsuro moved to take Sei into his arms as she started trembling.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." The doctor tried to explain, but his mother got hysterical, breaking down in Katsuro's arms.

Ryo bit back his own scream as grief slammed him and a slender hand slid into his. He turned to find Soubi standing beside him. Letting out a harsh breath, he drew strength from Soubi's warmth.

"What happened?" Ryo asked the doctor, his voice hoarse.

"Your brother had severe internal bleeding, he went into shock and we couldn't resuscitate him."

Soubi's arm around his waist held him together as his heart crushed to pieces. Tears burned the back of his eyes, the image of Tohaku lying on his kitchen floor filling his thoughts. They'd talked just yesterday, Ryo might have been angry, but they'd talked. He bit his lip as tears filled his eyes.

"I'll give your family a moment," the doctor said kindly, and left the waiting room.

Soubi pulled him into a tight hug and Ryo held on, fighting hysteria. Tohaku couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. He closed his eyes and buried his face into Soubi's shoulder.

It couldn't be true.

***

"You did this," Sei screamed at her ex-husband, punching his chest as she sobbed. "You took him from me. You took my son from me. He did this because of you!"

"Calm down, Sei," Katsuro tried to soothe her but she wouldn't stop crying.

Her sobs were raw, the emotion tangible.

Soubi could barely breathe as Ryo trembled in his arms. He held Ryo tightly, his heart clenching with grief as Ryo clung to him.

"You must promise to protect Ryosuke." Sei was telling her husband as she cried into his shoulder. "You must protect him, Katsuro. He's the only one I have left."

Soubi held on to Ryo afraid of Sei's words. He didn't know what she meant by that but he wasn't letting go of Ryo, not ever. Not now when they'd just found each other.

Katsuro glanced at him then and the look in his eyes made Soubi hug Ryo tighter. A few minutes later, Ryo's parents got up from the couches with Sei weeping into her handkerchief.

Katsuro motioned toward a man standing at the waiting room door. The man walked out and returned with two men in dark suits.

Ryo's arms around Soubi tightened and he felt fear take over as the men approached them.

"Ryosuke, we must plan your brother's funeral," Katsuro ordered.

Katsuro's men stopped a few feet away. Ryo tensed in his arms and Soubi realized what Katsuro meant. They were taking Ryo with them.

"Soubi," Ryo said pulling back to kiss him on his cheek. "I'll come back soon."

Soubi fought tears as Ryo stepped away from him. He tried to be strong for Ryo, but watching him walk away from him hurt. His gaze fell on Sei as Ryo headed for the door. She gave Soubi a smug glance and he realized she was going to do all she could to keep Ryo at the family estate.

She would win. With Tohaku gone—

Soubi dropped to his knees and begged Katsuro Asada.

"Please let Ryo stay in Shimokitazawa."

Katsuro Asada spared him one glance, but didn't say a word as he and Sei followed Ryo out of the private waiting room. Ignoring him and his little plea. Tears filled Soubi's eyes and he bit his lip hard until Kaito helped him up.

The sun was up by the time they got to the house.

Kaito dropped into a couch in the living room with a loud sigh. Soubi stood in the middle of the hallway feeling like he'd ran through hell. He dropped the jacket Kaito had placed over his shoulders on the floor and headed to the kitchen. He pushed open the kitchen door and froze, his gaze riveted on the bloody towels the medics had left on the floor.

***

Kaito walked into the kitchen looking for coffee. He hoped Soubi had gone upstairs to sleep, but that didn't seem likely. The next week was going to be a difficult one especially with Ryo held up at the Asada estate in Minakami. He was going to need a tub of coffee to get through the grief.

A soft sob made him pause and he looked around the room for a moment before it came again. He went around the kitchen table to find Soubi on his knees scrubbing blood off the wooden floor. Tears streaked down Soubi's cheeks as he viciously scrubbed the stains.

"Oh my goodness, Soubi," Kaito gasped. "Leave that for later, we can replace the tiles."

"I have to get the blood off." Soubi wiped his tears with the back of his arm, as he mopped bloody water off the floor. "I can't leave Tohaku's blood on the floor. It wouldn't be right for Ryo to come home and find it—,"

A sob cut off his words.

Kaito watched Soubi clean for a few seconds before he turned and went to a kitchen closet in the corner. He found floor rugs and returned to help Soubi finish the job. When they were done, Kaito took the trash bags out and tried to get Soubi to have something to eat. When that didn't work, he insisted Soubi take a quick shower.

"I have to make sure Ryo is fine," Soubi said, thirty minutes later as he settled on the bed. "I can't stay here while he's over there planning his brother's funeral. I can't, Kaito."

"I know," Kaito soothed climbing on to the bed behind Soubi hoping to offer comfort. "You need sleep first, and then we can figure out what to do next."

"Promise you'll take me to Minakami ," Soubi insisted clutching a pillow to his nose. His eyes were red from crying so much. "Promise me, Kaito."

"I'll take you." Kaito smoothed Soubi's hair back. "Now sleep, you'll be of no help to Ryo if you're tired too. He's going to need all the strength we can get."

***

Fourteen

The sea of white chrysanthemums surrounding Tohaku Asada's picture was sobering. Guests filed in, Ryo greeted them, his jaw set as hard as his starched black collar. The black tie around his neck was choking him. He adjusted it and returned a bow from the Minister of Finance.

"Ryo," a familiar voice said, and he glanced up in surprise.

Soubi stood before him handsome in a black suit and black tie. His hair held tight in a ponytail. Beside him, Kaito was similarly dressed although his hair remained considerably unruly.

Ryo's gaze returned to Soubi, desperately. He just wanted to pull Soubi in to a tight hug and hide where no one could find them. His cousins stood beside him and he was forced to restrain his instincts.

"We'll be around," Soubi said.

Ryo nodded biting his inner lip to keep in control. A new group of guests arrived and Kaito pulled Soubi into the large hall where the funeral ceremony was to take place. The pain in his heart eased slightly just knowing Soubi was in the crowd of guests. Through the funeral ceremony, he drew his strength from knowing Soubi and Kaito were there for him.

Sei Asada clung tightly to his arm as they bid their guests goodbye after the ceremony. Her eyes were red from the endless tears she'd shed through the past week. His father remained stoic, although he'd demanded that Ryo remain in the estate indefinitely.

Ryo finally managed to escape his mother's side at four in the afternoon.

Sneaking out of the hall, he walked out into the cold air, his suit jacket open, he welcomed the freezing wind. Kaito and Soubi sat on a bench in the small garden right outside the large hall.

Soubi got to his feet the moment he saw him. Slender arms wrapped around Ryo's shoulders and he felt relief fill him.

"Are you taking care of yourself?" Soubi asked, his voice shaky as he clung to him. "You feel thinner, you're not eating."

"I'm fine," Ryo said, breathing in Soubi's scent. He closed his eyes and held on to Soubi. "I'm so glad you managed to come."

"Of course we came." Soubi pulled back and pressed a soft kiss on Ryo's left jaw. "We're here for you, Ryo. Whatever you need, all right? You just say it."

Ryo breathed out, shivering slightly as the temperatures in Minakami were lower than Shimokita.

"I'm hoping to get back home as soon as all my duties here are done."

Soubi nodded his hands dropping away from Ryo's shoulders, sliding over Ryo's chest. Soubi buttoned Ryo's suit jacket.

"You're going to catch a cold like this. Where is your coat?"

Ryo moved to sit beside Kaito on the bench. Soubi sat beside him, holding his hand tight.

"Did the police come to ask you questions?"

"Yes." Soubi frowned, the little wrinkle on his forehead intriguing. "Tohaku's car was parked across the street. They're saying he had a passenger."

"It was his assistant," Ryo said. "He was found dead in the old market at Shimokitazawa. Along with two other men shot by Tohaku. I didn't even know he owned a gun."

"How could you have known?" Kaito asked. "But, it makes sense for Tohaku to own a gun considering the people he was hanging with. What is your father saying?"

"He's upset." Ryo frowned remembering the meeting he'd had with his father the evening before.

" _You're now heir-apparent of the Asada Group. Your brother's death is hard on all of us but try to focus on the hard work ahead, Ryosuke. The family is counting on you," Katsuro said._

His father was expecting him to take Tohaku's place.

"What's wrong?" Soubi asked, peering into his face. "Is it your mother?"

Ryo shook his head rubbing his forehead.

"No, although she's reached a new level of madness. One second she's crying and fragile the next angry. I've never seen her like this; even my father is worried."

"Tohaku was important to her." Soubi gave him a small smile. "He was her son. I imagine it must be really hard to lose one this abruptly."

Ryo nodded in agreement.

"Where are you staying?"

"We got hotel rooms in town." Kaito explained dangling Ryo's car keys. "I drove us down."

"I'm sorry I can't keep you up at Tohaku's house. My mother closed it up insisting she wants to preserve his spirit. That woman is losing her mind. I have to stay at her house and she—

"Ryo," Soubi cut in, touching his jaw with his free hand. "You don't have to explain. We understand."

"I'm sorry she's so difficult." Ryo closed his eyes. "Don't leave yet, alright? I'll sneak out when I can."

Soubi pulled him into a hug.

"We'll stay as long as you want."

Ryo breathed in shakily, grateful for the warmth of Soubi's hug. Kaito rubbed his back for a moment and he would have stayed like this if Tohaku's fiancée hadn't approached them.

"Ryosuke- _san_ ," Sakura Hondo said quietly. "I'm sorry to disturb you but your mother is looking for you."

Ryo closed his eyes in denial holding on to Soubi hating letting go.

"I love you. You can do this," Soubi whispered in his ear.

Ryo nodded and pulled back reluctantly. He glanced at Sakura who was standing a few feet away looking dejected. She was in a plain black dress that covered the bump on her stomach. He'd been surprised to discover that she was pregnant with Tohaku's baby. Ryo didn't understand how Tohaku could have kept that from him. He'd told Tohaku everything about Soubi.

Ryo stood and held out a hand to Sakura.

"Come and meet my boyfriend, and best friend." Ryo took her hand gently and pulled her closer. "This is Soubi Tanaka, my boyfriend, and this is Kaito Suguru, my best friend."

"Nice to meet you," Sakura said, with a small bow.

"Guys, this is Sakura Hondo, Tohaku's fiancée." Ryo glanced at Soubi with a knowing glance. "She's family."

Soubi stepped forward and pulled Sakura into a hug. She jerked, surprised by the gesture but then she relaxed and melted into Soubi's hug.

"You should come down to Shimokita, Sakura- _san_." Kaito offered when Soubi let her go. "We'd love to have you."

"That's very kind." She accepted Kaito's short hug before she turned a worried glance to Ryo. "Your mother sounded urgent when she asked for you."

Ryo didn't want to leave Soubi yet. The other guests were leaving and others were choosing to stay overnight in readiness for the funeral tomorrow. Being the oldest son of the Asada family, Ryo sighed and adjusted that...the only son now, he was responsible for everyone.

"Go ahead," Kaito said, placing a protective arm over Soubi's shoulders. "I'll take care of Soubi."

"Who's taking care of whom? You can't even cook." Soubi teased lightly jabbing Kaito's ribs with a finger. "We're fine."

Ryo felt a small smile tug on his lips at Soubi's words. A few months ago, he'd never have imagined Soubi would be standing here smiling at him. Encouraging him, giving him strength, how had they ever survived alone?

Ryo took Sakura's hand and led her back toward the large hall the family was using for the wake.

***

"He looks tired," Soubi noted, his gaze on Ryo as he climbed up the steps to the hall. "He needs to rest."

"So do you, you barely slept through the three-hour drive. Last night, you were up till two watching TV." Kaito pulled Soubi's ponytail gently. "What are you worrying about? Ryo is strong."

"He's hurting."

His gaze took in the large compound around the hall. The Asadas probably rented it out for functions when the family wasn't using it. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like to grow up in such an environment.

He and Kaito almost got lost when they drove into the estate earlier. The place was like a village, tarmac roads leading to the two main homes in the estate. Sei Asada's house was built on the east side of the property. Apparently, Tohaku and Ryo had helped build her house after the divorce.

_That woman_ , Soubi closed his eyes picturing her ugly glance when she'd seen him walk into the hall. Why couldn't she accept him? It would make this situation so much easier.

"Let's go, Soubi." Kaito tagged on his arm. "We can come back tomorrow."

"I don't want to leave. I'm afraid they won't let him out if we don't stay." Soubi bit back a sigh, his heart beating wildly. He didn't have the strength to keep watching Ryo walking away.

"Ryo won't let that happen." Kaito assured him leading him away from the bench to their car. "We just need to be strong for him."

***

"I don't want to see your little lover here." Sei Asada insisted glaring at Ryo as she paced the length of the private sitting area. "We've not even buried your brother. I can't deal with your choices right now."

"If you're talking about Soubi, I want him here." Ryo urged Sakura to sit on the couch and he leaned on its arm. "Why do you treat Soubi this way?"

"He's the reason you've chosen to live outside this estate. The reason you thought making a life out there would be better. How can I accept him?"

"Because I love him," Ryo said simply. "Even with Tohaku gone, that fact is not going to change. If you want me to stay here, you need to accept Soubi."

"No." Sei shook her head as she stopped her pacing. "You have no choice but to stay in this estate now, your father will make sure of it. I just need to deal with Soubi."

"Mother," Ryo said the anger burning inside him exploding. "I've asked you before not to talk about hurting Soubi. You think Tohaku was rebellious, try touching a single hair on Soubi's head, and you'll see a monster."

"How dare you talk to me this way?" Sei demanded glaring at him. "Why do you only see what you want and not what is needed? Do you think Tohaku ended up in that hall because he wanted to?"

"You drove him there." Ryo accused getting to his feet. "If you'd accepted Tohaku's choices he'd be alive right now. You won't even look at his fiancée and when you do, you treat her like she's nothing. Can you imagine how Tohaku felt knowing you were treating his fiancée this way?"

"Are you blaming me for your brother's death? Do you think I led him to that shady market? Do you think I gave him the gun to shoot those men? He made those decisions alone."

"He was protecting me!" Ryo shouted remembering Tohaku's words when he'd been lying on the kitchen floor bleeding out. "I don't know why he felt he needed to deal with those kinds of people, but he was protecting me. That's something you have no idea how to do."

"Stop it," Sakura cried getting to her feet. Her cheeks wet with tears as she looked at him and then at his mother. "This is not the time to be fighting. Ryosuke- _san_ , not with your brother in the other room the way he is. Please don't fight."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Sei demanded glaring at her. "I'll talk to my son how I want. Especially when he starts blaming me for things I didn't do."

"You're never going to change," Ryo said turning on his mother. "Are you even listening to what she's trying to say to you?"

The door opened and Katsuro stepped into the room his face flushed with anger. He closed the door and glared at them.

"You're embarrassing the family shouting like maniacs while everyone is mourning Tohaku."

Ryo dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry, father."

"Don't argue with your mother anymore." Katsuro urged. "This is not an easy time for any of us."

"Katsuro," Sei started.

"Ryosuke is doing his best under the circumstances," Katsuro continued. "There'll be plenty of time to deal with the rest after we've laid Tohaku to rest. I'll listen to your suggestions then, Sei."

Ryo sighed and glanced at Sakura. She was wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, trying to hold back her sobs. This fighting was not good for her, especially with her pregnancy. He pulled her into a hug and tried to comfort her.

Katsuro frowned.

"Ryosuke, take Sakura to the main house, she should rest."

"She's staying at my house," Sei said curtly.

"What difference does it make?" Katsuro asked.

"Tohaku is— _was_ my son. I'll take care of her," Sei replied. "I have experience with her condition."

Ryo sighed. Everything had to be a political statement with his mother. Sakura would be more comfortable in his father's house. Hell, at this point he was more comfortable in his father's house. Katsuro glanced at him and for a moment, he thought his father might fight her on this.

"Fine," Katsuro said quietly giving him an unreadable glance.

Ryo shook his head and led Sakura out of the room. They used one of the black cars the family used to drive to Sei's house.

"Is she always like this?" Sakura asked, when they entered his mother's quiet house.

"This is the worst she's been." Ryo led Sakura to the spacious living room. "You should try and get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. I'll see if I can scare up someone to get you set up in a room."

***

Three weeks later, a cold wind blasted through the cemetery freezing the tears on Ryo's cheeks and tugging at wisps of his hair. A soft step behind him had Ryo reaching up to wipe his tears.

Tears were a sign of weakness in the Asada family; he couldn't allow anyone to see him crying.

Ryo took in a deep breath and stared at his brother's name on the brand new head stone.

Tohaku Asada, beloved son and brother.

Anger rolled deep inside him, bile rising. His fingers clenched into fists. He wanted revenge for his brother's murder.

His father had ordered an intensive investigation to clear the Asada name. Tohaku's death was making investors nervous especially with talk of syndicate and drugs.

It didn't help that the two men Tohaku shot dead were heads of a drug ring. Police had recovered the crates stolen from Furiroda at the docks. They were filled with cocaine. The investigators' report said Tohaku shot both men in the market after they killed his friend in the car. However, Tohaku hadn't been fast enough because one of their subordinates stabbed him before he could enter his car and get away.

That man was now in custody facing a murder trial but it wasn't enough.

The bastard had not only taken his brother from him, he'd taken the life Ryo had chosen.

Ryo closed his eyes, missing Soubi, missing the feel of Soubi in his arms. Three weeks of not being able to hold Soubi were taking a toll on him. Becoming Ryosuke Asada took everything he had just to keep from drowning. Pain stabbed deep into his heart and he let out a small gasp.

"Are you alright, Ryo-san?" Sakura asked behind him.

Ryo turned to stare at her in surprise. She looked frail dressed in a short black dress with a heavy dark coat to keep her warm, her hair held back in a bun.

"You shouldn't be out in the cold," Ryo chastised worried for her health.

She wasn't eating well and being around Sei Asada was stressing her. The family doctor was worried she might miscarriage if she didn't gain weight soon.

The Asada estate was like a pit of vipers. No one wanted to deal with the reality of Sakura's existence. Sei was treating Sakura as if she didn't exist. The fact that Sakura and Tohaku hadn't married meant the child she was carrying was illegitimate. His father was treating her like a guest instead of family.

"I wanted to thank you for being there for me. I'm sorry that you had to send Soubi and your friend back to Shimokita. You should be with them." Sakura spoke softly, her gaze on Tohaku's headstone. She constantly wrung her fingers drawing his gaze to the shining ring on her middle finger. Tohaku's promise so clearly stated.

Ryo had sent Soubi home the moment the press started sniffing around for the full story on Tohaku. They were all under a microscope with the police investigating Tohaku's death and the Asada Group. It was better for Soubi and Kaito to be in Shimokitazawa.

"Why didn't Tohaku tell me that you were pregnant?" Ryo asked with a frown.

"He was going to tell you, but he wanted it to be a surprise. He loved talking about you, Ryo- _san_. He was so proud of you."

Ryo looked away from her unable to keep tears from stinging his eyes again. He needed to stay angry to get through the next weeks, even if the anger was driving him to madness. He gritted his teeth and refused to allow her kind words to sink into his heart.

"You can't stay here Sakura," Ryo said abruptly, his tone hard. "My brother would have wanted you to, but if you stay in this estate, life will only get harder."

Sakura moved closer to Tohaku's grave. She touched the cool marble with her left hand.

"Tohaku asked me to trust your judgment, Ryo- _san_. I'll do what you ask me."

"Damn bastard," Ryo said bitterly.

Had Tohaku expected to be killed?

"You're angry." Sakura stared at him surprise clear in her eyes. "He loved you, you have to know that."

"I know." He knew that now more than anyone.

Tohaku's lawyer had read his will two days ago. Apart from a trust fund set up in Sakura's name, Tohaku had left his share of the Asada group to Ryo. Tohaku had also asked Ryo take care of Sakura and his unborn child, knowing Ryo would keep his promises for him.

What Ryo wouldn't give to be standing in his kitchen at Shimokita watching Soubi make breakfast. The morning sun was thin and made flecks of snow sparkle on the ground around them. His heavy coat kept his body warm, but his heart was frozen.

"It will take time," he murmured, not ready to forgive Tohaku for leaving him like this.

"Time for what?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"Nothing." Ryo shook his head. "Come on, you can't stay in the cold. You have to start taking care of yourself."

She gave him a small smile and touched the small bump on her stomach.

"This child is the last good thing I have of Tohaku and I want to protect him. I'm ready to leave at any time."

Ryo nodded in approval. "I'll handle it."

His cell phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket. He stared at Soubi's face smiling at him.

"Excuse me."

"I'll wait for you," she said, standing by Tohaku's head stone.

She obviously didn't want to leave yet.

Ryo moved farther along the family plot, passing his grandparents' headstones as he answered the video call. Soubi appeared on his screen, his beloved face so handsome.

"When are you coming home to me?" Soubi asked in greeting.

"I miss you too," Ryo answered. "Not today, Soubi."

"I'm coming back to Minakami." Soubi's dark eyes were determined, his mouth set in a firm line. "She's not keeping you, Ryo."

"I'm not a rope to tag between you and my mother, Soubi."

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you want to stay in that estate?"

"I'm telling you there might not be a choice to leave." Ryo cursed under his breath. "I've got things I need to take care of. Can you please be patient for a while?"

Soubi shook his head.

"Kaito is taking care of the shop. I had the tiles in the kitchen replaced. I also picked up your remaining paintings from the museum. I'll send them to you—

"No, keep them." Ryo cut in not wanting to have his precious art mixed in with the mess his life was in the estate.

He didn't have a place in this estate and he couldn't imagine hanging his paintings in his mother's house.

"Fine, whatever," Soubi said.

Ryo frowned at the rebellious expression on Soubi's face.

"Please, Soubi. Just keep them at the house. I'll come over when I can."

"You don't want me to visit you, you don't want your paintings, you don't call me," Soubi said his voice wavering.

"I don't feel up to a fight right now, there are too many things going on. I'll explain when we meet, Soubi. A lot of things are going to change."

"I don't like the sound of that." Soubi's frown deepened. "Why can't you come back to Shimokita? I thought you gave up the Asada estate. You promised you wouldn't leave me."

"I can't explain on the phone, Soubi. Please try to understand. With Tohaku gone—

"They're going to need you to take over?" Soubi cut in glaring at him. "Is that what's going on? You're giving us up and choosing them."

"Soubi," Ryo sighed.

"Don't. We'll be here when you decide to come home." Soubi hang up and Ryo was left staring at his blank screen.

Ryo rubbed his forehead, his leather gloves cold against his skin. Protecting Soubi had always been a difficult task, the punk had a trying attitude. He put his phone away and turned to find Sakura still standing by Tohaku's grave. She looked lost in the background of the snow-covered grounds.

Damn Tohaku for this mess.

***

"He's not coming."

Soubi threw his phone on the kitchen table and kicked at the packages he and Kaito had dragged into the kitchen last night.

"He doesn't even want his paintings. We've lost him, Kaito."

"Stop being dramatic," Kaito said, leaning on the kitchen counter. "I think the reason you're so angry is because you think Sei Asada is keeping him there."

"And why shouldn't I be upset?" Soubi shook his head and waved his hand indicating the kitchen. "We had Christmas in this place alone, same with New Year's Day. What do you think will happen when it comes to the spring festival? I can't stand it. I can't be in a relationship alone."

"You need to be stronger, Soubi."

"How much stronger can I get?"

Soubi sank into a chair and fought back tears. He missed Ryo so much it hurt to breath. It was worse knowing where Ryo was and not being able to go see him.

On New Year's Eve, hoping to surprise Ryo, Soubi boarded a train and ridden for two hours to get to Minakami. Taking a taxi to the Asada estate, he had a hell of a time getting to Sei Asada's house. Sei took a special kind of enjoyment telling him that Ryo was attending a business party when she saw him. Soubi insisted on waiting and ended up spending a cold New Year's Day waiting in Sei's living room like a fool.

Soubi had left Sei's house that afternoon when Ryo finally called him and said he was caught up with family business. Soubi cried himself to sleep for two days after that trip. Lying in Ryo's bed, constantly searching for Ryo's fading scent.

Was it a wonder he was starting to resent Tohaku?

Why hadn't Tohaku had more sense?

If Tohaku hadn't been messing around with drug lords and kingpins, he'd still be alive. Then Ryo would still be here with him, eating breakfast, watching him wash dishes. That seemed mundane, but in the weirdest way, it was the closest to heaven Soubi ever got.

Was it bad thinking ill of the dead?

"I'm going out." Soubi stood up abruptly and headed out of the kitchen.

"Where are you headed? Is it a job? I can come with you."

"No, I need to be alone."

"This early in the morning?" Kaito asked.

"Yeah," Soubi shrugged and left the kitchen.

Maybe he'd go see how Grandma was doing. It beat being here thinking about Ryo and how he might never come back to this house. They all knew Sei was never going to approve of Soubi living with Ryo. If Ryo took Tohaku's place, he was going to be expected to carry on the bloody family line. That thought alone made Soubi feel sick to the stomach. The thought of Ryo ending up with some woman—

Soubi clung to the banister as he climbed the stairs. What would happen to him then?

_What was he without Ryo Asada_?

****

Fifteen

Camera's flashed as Soubi walked down the runway for Sasha's Spring Collection. His mind carefully blank as he paused, pulled off his jacket and swung it over his shoulder. He'd done three shows today and he was tired but none of it showed.

When he got backstage, Sasha smiled at him and clapped.

"You look gorgeous, my Soubi. You make me want to eat you up."

"I might let you."

Soubi unzipped the black slacks and dropped them to the floor. He stepped out of them and took the summer shorts the dresser handed him. He wore them and frowned when they slipped on his waist. He pulled the drawstring tighter.

"You've lost weight," Sasha complained. "I fit that last week. Are you sick?"

"No." Soubi shrugged and took the pastel v-neck shirt Sasha was holding out. He slipped it over his head and sat down on the chair for the hair stylist to fix his hair.

"Is everything alright with you and Ryo? You haven't talked about him since you came back after the New Year's thing."

Soubi winced a bit when the hairdresser tugged a portion of his hair. He didn't want to think about Ryo. After their call yesterday, his brain was looped on the fact that he still didn't know what he would be without Ryo.

"Soubi," Sasha prompted him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Soubi pasted on a smile and flashed it at his boss.

Sasha studied him with a skeptical glance and he was glad when the hairdresser finished turning his hair into a punk fest. Clumps of it held in a messy ponytail, spray painted green and red, then tipped with gel. He was going to have a hell of a time washing it off.

He was going to be barefoot on the runway, so he adjusted his shirt and turned to Sasha.

"How do I look?"

"Hawt," Sasha declared with a wide smile. "I'm making you the face of Sasha Inc."

"What?" Soubi gaped.

"You heard me. You're the face of Sasha Inc."

Soubi's eyes widened. A contract with Sasha Inc. would mean a better paycheck, definitely better than a video with Rin and _Blazing Red_.

"Are you being serious right now, Sasha? I have to know."

"I am," Sasha pulled out his cell phone. "I'll call my lawyer to get the paperwork."

"Oh wow," Soubi managed. "I don't know what to say."

"You won't have to work all those jobs." Sasha gave him a smile. "Thanks to that day at the garden, Sasha Inc. closed a few deals that are going to keep us going for a while. The couture and ready-to-wear branches are secure. I can afford to have a sizeable contract with you."

Soubi chuckled.

"You make it sound as though you were going bankrupt."

Sasha made a face at him.

"It's a small thing to do for you, Soubi. I would love to give you everything but you're taken. Anyway, enough of that. We should celebrate. There's going to be a party after this. Are you coming?"

Soubi glanced at his watch. It was almost eight o'clock at night, he needed to get home and make sure dinner was done.

Kaito and Ryo—

Soubi paused.

What was he thinking?

Ryo wasn't home and Kaito was staying later at the shop because of inventory.

"I'll get you home personally. Say you'll come."

Soubi smiled. "I'd love to go."

There wasn't anyone to go home to anyway.

***

"I want to know what you're going to do," Sei Asada said to Ryo as she sat on a couch in her living room.

The housekeeper placed a steaming cup of green tea on a glass table before Sei and she handed the young woman her handbag.

"Do about what?" Ryo asked, sinking into an armchair.

He refused the offer for tea; his stomach was giving him trouble. Stress was causing the stomach upset.

Sei sighed dramatically and reached for her tea. She sipped it delicately, and then placed the cup on the table again.

Ryo wondered if she'd had fantasies of being an Empress when she'd been young. He could easily imagine her ordering the execution of an entire family for the simple reason that one of them stepped on her flower garden.

Not a good way to think of his mother, Ryo mused.

Dressed in a black silk blouse, knee length black skirt and black tights, her hair held tight in a low ponytail, he couldn't think of her any other way. She hadn't worn a single colorful dress since Tohaku's funeral.

"Fine, judging from the amount of time you've been spending with your father, it looks like I need to lay out my cards."

"I won't be a pawn, mother. You need to understand that before you continue."

"It is not control. I call it balance. Unlike Tohaku, you have a brilliant mind for business, so I won't force you to do anything. Instead, I'll lay out my situation."

Ryo pulled off his suit jacket suddenly hot. He undid the tie he was wearing, and the top button of his shirt.

"Your brother gave you his share of Asada."

"Were you expecting he'd leave it to you?"

"I'd hoped." Sei shrugged. "I suppose it should have been obvious. You and Tohaku were always loyal to each other. No matter, it doesn't change the situation."

Sei stood and walked to a desk by the wall in the spacious sitting room. She picked up a leather bound folder with the Asada logo on it and brought it to him.

"This is a list of the shareholders in the Asada group. Combining your standard share and the shares you gained through Tohaku makes you the second major shareholder in the Asada Group."

Ryo opened the folder and read the documents she'd compiled. He frowned as he realized she was right. He had somehow gained a title in the Asada Group.

"I don't want to be Vice-Chairman. That's your job."

"Not anymore," she smiled. "You're the new vice-chairman. You're expected to take up your new position in a month. You'll be working out of the main offices in Ginza. You'll oversee operations on Asada Engineering & Construction, and Asada Real Estate, Resorts and Hotels."

"What do you want from me?" Ryo asked.

"Asada Real Estate, Resorts and Hotels remains under the Asada Group umbrella. Since I don't know what your father plans to do with his will, I want to separate Asada Real Estate from Asada Engineering and Construction. I want your support when it comes to voting for separation."

"No." Ryo shook his head not ready to imagine that battle.

His father had started all the companies under the Asada Group. Katsuro would never separate them, especially since they were all profitable as they were.

"I'm not going to play the Trojan horse."

"When your father dies, his second wife will inherit his assets. Even with the shares he's given me in Asada, with you as Vice-Chairman slated to be Chairman, and his wife receiving his other assets, it leaves me out of the game. I can't allow that to happen, Ryosuke."

Ryo threw the folder on the coffee table with a disgusted sigh.

"Is everything about money and power with you? You're like a vulture."

"Insult me all you want but you know I'm right. Don't you care for your mother at all?"

Sei stood and paced to the windows staring out into the cold afternoon.

"Do you want my shares? I'll give them to you, all of them. That will make you equal majority shareholder. You can do what you want."

Sei laughed bitterly the sound of it chilling his blood.

"Careful what you offer so easily. I'm an ambitious woman, and I will not stop until Katsuro Asada gives me back my dignity."

"Why do you act like this? We're all family. You have this house and all the money you could want. I'm right here. Why do you have to cause trouble?"

"How does it feel to be away from your little lover?" Sei asked abruptly.

Ryo gaped at her.

His heart clenching tightly, he acknowledged the hell he was living being without Soubi. He swallowed hard and stared at the floor.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Your heart hurts, doesn't it?" Her tone was soft, wistful. He glanced up shocked by her tone. She turned to look at him, her eyes bright. "You want to throw everything away and run back to his side. Especially since you're doing all you can to protect him from me, and the Asada name."

Ryo opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. He closed his mouth unable to understand how she could so easily describe his pain.

"It's been a long time since someone loved me that much." Sei continued quietly staring at him. "I used to have it, Ryosuke. I had it once, that love which you're protecting so fiercely. I held on to it just as fiercely believing that it would never change."

She shook her head, a tear trailing down her right cheek. He stared at that single tear knowing it was the only chink in the armor Sei Asada clung to he would ever get to see.

"One day, I woke up and that love was gone. Taken away by another woman who was suddenly living in the same house I once did. Do you know what happens to the heart when something like that occurs?"

Ryo shook his head and watched her wipe away the tear with her thumb. She shrugged and the melancholy ended, the softness disappeared.

"It turns to bitterness, and a deep-seated need for revenge." Sei gave him a slight smile. "I love you Ryosuke, and I want the best for you. That will never change. But, power and money is all I have left from that man and I'm going to selfishly get as much as I can."

"What if I promise to get it for you? You don't have to cause trouble with the Asada Group. I'll get the power for you, mother."

"How will you when you're under that man?" Sei asked, her dark eyes burning with anger. "Anything you do from now on will end up being under the Asada Group."

Ryo stood up afraid of what would happen if his mother decided to pursue this idea of breaking up the Asada Group. She'd probably started lobbying the other directors to get her vote.

"Mother, please."

"Please what?" Sei shook her head in disappointment. "When you left the estate I thought you might understand my side. You shunned the Asada social circles and made your own way."

"I did it for Tohaku. He was the heir, that world was his. We would have hated each other if I had stayed. I would have wanted to help him, and he liked being free to do as he liked."

Ryo ran fingers through his hair tired of this conversation.

"Please promise me you won't do anything about breaking up the group. Wait for me."

"Ryosuke," Sei said, exasperated.

"Promise me, Mother. If you want my help, you'll wait."

She gave him a narrowed gaze. Afraid she was going to refuse he rushed to her and hugged her. She gasped in surprise when he held her tight. He held on until she reached up and wrapped her arms around him too.

He closed his eyes, hoping.

"Wait, just a little longer before you do anything," Ryo begged, his face buried into her shoulder. He hoped she'd listen for his sake, hers, and even Soubi.

***

"Do you know what else I miss?" Soubi asked, his words slurred as he waved a hand at Sasha. "I miss how he insists on brushing my hair after I shower. It's really weird, right? I mean it's just hair. He says he likes it black."

"That's fascinating, Soubi."

"Fascinating," Soubi giggled. "Who uses such words? Fascinating, that's so stupid. Why do you two always use words that make no sense? I've been saving the daily newspaper everyday for the last three weeks. He likes doing puzzles, and I check them the next morning. Do you know he gets them all right? I mean, who does that? How stupid am I for keeping newspapers? How the hell is he going to end up doing three weeks worth of puzzles?"

The black Mercedes came to a stop and he stared at the bottle of champagne clutched on his lap.

"This stuff is great, it's not making me drunk."

Sasha chuckled.

"Your definition of drunk must be different from mine. You're plastered, Soubi. I think I know everything about you and freaking Ryo Asada than I can take."

Soubi gulped and shook his head.

"Not everything. I've been saving money for two years now. Every job I got, I kept three quarters of the money in an account. Do you know why?"

Sasha shook his head. "No, tell me."

"I didn't know either," Soubi said with a silly smile. "I didn't know until Ryo became my boyfriend. Until he made love to me and made me feel I mattered. Sounds silly, but he makes me feel significant."

Sasha reached out and pushed a lock of his hair back.

"You are important, Soubi."

Soubi smiled again. "With your contract money, I'm going to enroll into university. I want to be a writer."

"A writer," Sasha's eyes widened at the simple declaration.

"Bet you didn't know I wrote." Soubi laughed happily, tipping the bottle to his mouth. When only a few drops came, he sighed and placed it on the floor. "I'm going to be the best there ever was. Then I'll rub it in that Sei Asada's face when I've won awards. She'll have no choice but to accept me then."

"You'll give up modeling for Ryo?" Sasha asked shocked.

"I'd do anything for Ryo." Soubi stated without a second thought. He reached for the key hanging on his neck. "That includes giving this key up. I need to see Rin."

The driver opened the door on Soubi's side.

"Are we home already?"

"Yes." Sasha glanced out the windows at the dark house. "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Soubi's head dropped.

"I have to be here. In case Ryo comes home."

Sasha nodded and watched him get out of the car.

"Are you sure you'll make it to the door alone? I can help you."

"I'm fine. Stay in the car, Sasha, go home." Soubi insisted when Sasha started to get out of the car.

Sasha gave him a sad smile and sat back. The driver closed the door and Soubi waved goodbye. When the car rolled away, Soubi opened the gates and closed them securely. He made his way slowly to the front door. He tried the door for a moment fumbling with the lock, and then the door swung open.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ryo demanded his tone harsh. "You're not answering your phone. I thought something happened to you."

Soubi glanced up in shock. Ryo stood in the small hall looking handsome and vital in a grey t-shirt and sweat pants, dark eyes blazing with concern. Soubi could barely breathe. Ryo's face wavered turned into two for a moment and he blinked.

"Ryo," he slurred.

"Are you drunk?" Ryo gaped. "You were out drinking while I was worried sick!"

Soubi tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Tears filled his eyes and he burst into hard sobs. Ryo stared at him in surprise and then pulled Soubi into a tight hug. His face buried in Ryo's neck as he cried hard clinging to Ryo.

Ryo was here, with him!

The tears came faster as he tried to take in everything about his boyfriend.

Ryo pulled him into the house and the front door slammed closed.

"Where have you been?" Ryo ran fingers through Soubi's messy hair and touched Soubi's forehead with his palm. "Why are you drunk?"

"I had a runway show—, and then—,"

Soubi hiccupped fighting off his sobs.

"Sasha gave me a contract to be the face of Sasha Inc., and then—, I didn't want to come home alone—, so we went out to celebrate—, I'm not really drunk—, it was only champagne—, I—

Ryo took his mouth in a soft kiss, silencing Soubi's broken tirade and making him moan. His fingers bunched Ryo's shirt and he felt more tears slide down his cheeks. Ryo pulled back and kissed his cheeks, tasting his tears.

"I'm here," Ryo whispered gently. "Don't cry anymore."

Soubi sniffed and wiped his eyes pulling back slightly.

"I thought you weren't going to make it home soon."

"I wanted to see your face."

Soubi's heart squeezed at the soft confession.

Ryo looked tired, dark circles under his eyes.

"Are you hungry?" Soubi asked. "I can make you something to eat."

"I don't think you can be trusted in a kitchen right now. Besides, I'm not hungry. I just want to hold you. Can we do that?"

Soubi nodded.

Ryo was here, standing before him. He bit his lip and tried not to cry again. His tear ducts were over active today. They stood for a moment in the dim corridor. Taking Ryo's hand, Soubi led the way upstairs to their room and pulled him on to the bed.

"I never got the chance to hold you," Soubi murmured when they were lying on top of the covers in the dark room.

Ryo's head rested on Soubi's chest as he lay half-reclined on numerous pillows. Soubi ran gentle fingers through Ryo's hair.

"I wanted to tell you that it's going to be alright, Ryo. I wanted to hold you tight while you cried."

Ryo trembled and buried his face into Soubi's chest.

"I'm so tired."

"Close your eyes," Soubi murmured. "I'll watch over you while you sleep."

***

Soubi woke up first the next morning. He made breakfast and after making sure Kaito had left to go to the shop okay, he took a tray upstairs for Ryo.

Placing the tray on the bedside table, he wondered how long he had Ryo back this time. He'd looked for Ryo's suitcase in the living room. Thinking it might still be in the trunk, he'd gone out to the black car in the drive to check. He hadn't found any bag or suitcase.

Ryo shifted on the bed, his hands moving over the covers in search of him. Soubi watched him sit up slowly and rub his eyes.

"Morning," Soubi said softly.

Ryo glanced at him and smiled. The curve of those lips tagged at Soubi's heart.

"Morning, Soubi."

Soubi sat on the side of the bed. He reached up and brushed mussed hair out of Ryo's eyes, kissing Ryo's forehead.

"You slept pretty hard. How do you feel?"

Ryo pulled on Soubi's ponytail gently.

"Like I'm in heaven, I've missed seeing your face in the morning."

"Really," Soubi said. "I was right here waiting for you."

"I know." Ryo pulled him into a tight hug and Soubi wrapped his arms around Ryo. "Gods, I've missed you so much."

Soubi breathed in Ryo's scent and smiled into the soft grey cotton fabric of Ryo's shirt.

"Are you hungry? I brought you breakfast."

Ryo's stomach growled and they both chuckled.

"That answers your question."

"I guess it does." Soubi pulled back, pausing for a swift kiss before he got up. Ryo settled against the headboard using two pillows behind his back. "Kaito says he'll come back later when you're awake. He went to open the shop."

Soubi took the breakfast tray from the bedside table and placed it on Ryo's lap carefully.

"Wow, you really went all out this morning." Ryo stared at the tray in awe.

Soubi blushed as he watched Ryo pick up the cup of green tea. He'd made all of Ryo's favorites: green tea, and delicious bread from a bakery in town, Miso soup, and yoghurt with raisins, a plate with steamed vegetables, bacon and a fried egg.

"I can't finish this alone," Ryo said, picking up his chopsticks. "Will you help me?"

"No, you eat." Soubi urged thinking the lump in his throat wouldn't allow him to swallow. He was insanely happy just watching Ryo eating breakfast. He swallowed hard and tried to smile.

Ryo gave him a puzzled glance then held out a slice of the toasted bread.

"Eat already, you've lost weight."

"I haven't," Soubi countered, taking the slice of bread.

Ryo sipped his green tea again and coupled it with a piece of his fried egg. He moaned with appreciation and shook his head.

"I have missed your cooking, Soubi _-chan_."

Soubi smiled in happiness.

"You can have it everyday."

Ryo swallowed his egg and kept stuffing his mouth with more food. Soubi frowned when Ryo didn't agree with him. His worry that Ryo was really not coming back filled his stomach with protesting butterflies. He tore the slice of bread apart not ready to put it in his mouth.

"How long are you here?" Soubi asked.

"Hmm..." Ryo lifted his head chewing on steamed vegetables.

He looked handsome with rumpled hair and an overnight shadow. Illegally handsome, Soubi decided wondering how he ever let Ryosuke Asada walk in the daylight. If he had any sense he'd tie the man to this bed and lock the doors right now. Soubi frowned, that would be considered a tad psychotic, but he was desperate.

"Hmm..." Soubi imitated Ryo with a deepening frown. "Come on Ryo, talk to me. We promised each other no secrets. I want to know what's going on with you."

Ryo sipped his tea.

"There is so much, I don't know where to start."

"Are you coming back home? Start with that."

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"For how long?" Soubi pushed holding on to the piece of toast like it was a lifeline.

Ryo stopped eating and reached out with one hand to cover his hand.

"Will you stop shredding the darned piece of toast?"

"What does it matter what I do to the toast?"

Soubi dumped the piece of bread on the tray and pulled his feet under him on the bed.

Ryo sighed.

"I don't want to fight."

"Who said we're fighting? I'm asking you a question that you're not answering."

Ryo placed his chopsticks on the tray and swallowed his food. He sipped his tea and met Soubi's gaze.

"I have to be in Ginza in the morning."

"Ginza," Soubi gaped.

"Yeah, I'm taking on a position in the Asada Group," Ryo confessed quietly. "I'll have to move in to the house that comes with the job. My working hours will demand it."

"Why can't you stay here? It takes twenty minutes to drive into the city."

"I wish I could, Soubi." Ryo picked up the tray and placed it on the bedside table. "I came here to ask you to move in with me. You can do your modeling jobs easier, and—

"What about this house? What about Kaito and Furiroda?" Soubi glared at him. "And your painting, and everything—,"

Soubi shook his head.

"You and I, we won't be the same in that place."

"Kaito is perfectly capable of running Furiroda. I'm taking a break from my painting when things stop being so hectic, I'll get back to it. As for you and I, nothing has changed. We still feel the same, don't we? I love you. You love me. We're only getting a different address."

"An address that includes the Asada Clan and they don't approve of me beside you." Soubi pointed out getting off the bed.

He had no idea why he was being so irrational but the fear of facing Sei Asada constantly was eating him alive.

"We won't survive them."

"They don't matter—

"Yes they do," Soubi said, pointing at Ryo with a shaking index finger. "Look at you; you've started acting like her. All aloof and bossy, I don't like it."

"Soubi, stop being difficult," Ryo said in irritation. "I need you to work with me here. There is so much more to deal with. There are obligations I can't walk away from."

"Like what? You've always stood up to your family. Why is it different now?"

"If you haven't noticed, Tohaku's gone now. I am Katsuro Asada's only remaining son. That position comes with a price I can't ignore."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Soubi demanded afraid to think of what Ryo was painting with his words. "Are you agreeing to be saddled with advancing the lineage to the next generation? Do they have a nice young woman waiting for you at home?"

"Now you're being a bastard." Ryo got off the bed kicking off the covers in anger. "I need you to work with me Soubi. I need you to be with me—

"What if I say I can't do it?" Soubi asked with a shaking voice. "What then? Are you going to break up with me?"

"What are you on about?"

"If I can't come with you to Ginza, if I don't want to live through the torture of being with an Asada, are we going to break up?" Soubi asked quietly, holding Ryo's gaze across the bed.

"Soubi," Ryo said in shock.

"I want an answer, Ryo."

***

Sixteen

Soubi looked upset.

Ryo walked around their bed and frowned when Soubi took two steps back away from him. Dark eyes held his demanding an answer to an impossible question. The only thing he was sure of right now was that he needed Soubi in his life. And that taking Soubi to live with him would be a trial unless he kept him hidden.

"I'm sorry, Soubi."

Soubi took in a sharp breath, his eyes filled with pain. The sight of it made Ryo feel like shit, so he closed his eyes briefly. He moved closer edging Soubi toward the dresser where there would be no escape.

"I'm sorry because I can't let you leave me if that's what you want," Ryo murmured.

Soubi took a step back and came up against the large dresser.

Ryo closed the distance between them and held on to Soubi's upper arms.

"I'm sorry because I'll drag you with me to Ginza if I have to, Soubi. I'll make you live through the torture of being with an Asada because you're the only reason I'll survive it."

"Ryo," Soubi whispered.

Ryo shook Soubi for a moment hating the fear in Soubi's voice. What was he thinking dragging Soubi into the world of the Asada's? Hadn't he just promised to protect Sakura a few days ago? Why would he then force Soubi?

"Ryo," Soubi said again lifting a hand to touch his chest. "I don't want to break up with you."

Ryo closed his eyes and changed his mind.

"You don't have to go. This is my shit and—

"I'll come," Soubi cut him off harshly.

"No, I can't expect you to deal with Sei. You can stay here with Kaito and I'll visit—

"Stop it!" Soubi ordered, punching Ryo's chest. "One minute you want me to come, the next you think I should stay here, the only thing I got from this stupid conversation is that you love me."

Ryo bit his lip and stared at the top of Soubi's bent head.

"I promised you I wouldn't leave. I broke that promise when I left you at Christmas and New Year's. I don't want to break anymore."

"I'm used to broken promises."

"Not from me," Ryo said, his fingers tightening on Soubi's arm. "That's not what I want for us."

"Things are changing," Soubi said finally looking up.

Ryo was surprised to find determined dark eyes where he'd expected tears and sadness.

"I know. If Tohaku hadn't died, if he hadn't gone to mix up with—

"Stop, don't think ill of your brother, Ryo."

"I've thought worse of Tohaku these past weeks. I've been angry with him. I've cursed him." Ryo let go of Soubi and went to sit on the edge of the bed. "I've blamed him for everything that's happening to me, to us."

Soubi crossed his arms against his chest.

"I blamed my parents for passing away too. I was so angry with them. Grandma thought it was going to kill me."

Ryo swallowed hard and tried to be thankful that he still had his parents. He then remembered that his mother was the reason he was in turmoil and he cursed under his breath.

"I got a contract with Sasha Inc." Soubi continued watching him intently. "It will give me time to do...other things. In case, you need me to—, I mean you'll probably have social obligations...if—

Ryo frowned.

"Soubi, what are you stammering your way through."

"Nothing," Soubi shrugged, shaking his head. "It's not important."

"Soubi—

"This new place," Soubi pushed off the dresser glancing around their room, "is it furnished or do we have to find a moving truck?"

Ryo stared at him for a moment and then a chuckle bubbled out.

"It's furnished almost down to the wardrobe."

"I'll keep my rags thanks." Soubi smiled at him and Ryo's heart jumped in happiness. "What new position is making all these happen?"

Ryo watched Soubi move around the bed to get the abandoned tray. Ryo took the bowl of food and chopsticks and continued eating.

"Tohaku left me his share of Asada Group."

"Wow, he must have loved you very much. What about Sakura's baby?" Soubi asked finally taking a piece of the remaining toast. "Will you leave her alone?"

"No," Ryo shook his head. "She's carrying my brother's son. My flesh and blood, I'll take care of her. If you don't mind—

"Gosh, of course, Ryo," Soubi said. "She seemed a little lost at the funeral. Is she staying at the estate with your mother?"

"No," Ryo replied. "She'll be staying with us until I can get her settled on her own."

Soubi bit into his toast.

"At least I won't be alone."

***

A month later, on a cool morning, Soubi read his schedule and smiled at the receipt stapled to the document. He'd paid off his first semester at Sophia University an hour ago with his own money. He grinned and returned the schedule in the folder the administration office had given him. He'd yet to tell Ryo, but it was enough that he was actually enrolled in a university.

Ever since their move to Ginza, Soubi saw Ryo at night in their bed or not at all. He tried to wake up early to make Ryo breakfast, but that was proving impossible lately. Ryo was constantly meeting business associates for breakfast. Soubi sighed and closed the folder trying not to feel down. The upside of his new lifestyle in the Asada penthouse was that Sasha Inc. was practically five minutes away. He had more time on his hands, allowing him to do the entrance exams at Sophia U. and get the necessary recommendations from his old schools.

"Soubi," Rin Kouga interrupted his thoughts, and he glanced up to find his ex-boyfriend watching him. "I hope I'm not late."

"You're not." Soubi gave him a tentative smile and watched him slide into the chair across him. "How are you?"

"Surprised," Rin replied, as he removed his coat and placed it on the chair beside him. "Your call was the last thing I expected. What's going on?"

Soubi waited for the waiter to take Rin's order. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a little black box, which he slid to Rin when the waiter left.

"What is this?" Rin took the box and opened it with a small smile. The smile faded when he realized what was in the box. "Why?"

"It's time, don't you think?" Soubi sat back in his chair and pointed to the padlock visible on Rin's neck. "Your manager will stop yelling at you about that padlock too."

"You can't do this." Rin's tone sounded sharp, panicked.

Soubi frowned at the reaction.

"We've been over for a while, Rin. I'm with Ryo and I love him. I can't keep hurting him by keeping promises to you."

Rin snapped the box closed and glared at him.

"Are you trying to punish me for leaving you behind?"

"I don't want to play the blame game."

"I think it's too late for that." Rin placed the box on the table between them. "Would you like to tell me what Ryo was talking about in your kitchen that day?"

So many things had happened in that kitchen in Shimokitazawa. For a moment, Tohaku and the sight of him bleeding out on the floor filled Soubi's thoughts.

"What are you talking about?" Soubi asked Rin.

"About you high on drugs and it being my fault. You were getting high on your own, Soubi. Why did you lie to Ryo?"

Soubi frowned.

"I have no idea what happened when you were leaving Rin. I was too high to care, however the drugs came to me, I don't give a fuck anymore. I've closed that chapter—

"That's not fair to me." Rin cut in harshly. "Ryo was my friend as much as he was yours, Soubi. He's angry with me, has been ever since I left and I don't understand why. I've tried to fix it—

"You've been causing trouble, Rin. Wanting to get back with me, offering me a job, obviously to break me and Ryo apart," Soubi said, his voice trembled slightly. "You've always treated me like I'm some sort of welcome rug. Throw me out when it's not convenient and take me back when it is."

"What happened between us, Soubi? Why are you so bitter with me?"

"I knew it all."

Soubi looked away from Rin.

"The flings with Lira and the other groupies who follow _Blazing Red_ , I knew about them, Rin. When I asked you, you told me they were publicity stunts, but Lira always told me the truth."

"That bitch was causing trouble," Rin cursed under his breath. He leaned on the table. "Do you really think I cared about her?"

"I don't care who you cared about. It's been over between us for years, Rin. I just couldn't see it. I called to give that key back to you. You don't own me anymore, Rin. Not my body, not my heart," Soubi smiled as he thought about Ryo, "certainly not my soul."

The waiter chose that moment to bring Rin's coffee. Rin sat back, his gaze hard as he stared at the black box on the table. When the waiter left, Rin took the box and slipped it into his jacket.

"I hope you're happy with Asada then." Rin glanced around the elegant restaurant. "You've obviously managed to hit the jackpot. I can only imagine you're rolling in the money now. Is that why you didn't want to take my puny job?"

Soubi shook his head.

"Sasha offered me a job representing his brand."

"Sasha Takeno?" Rin asked in surprise. "Did you fuck him?"

Soubi winced at the accusation.

"I don't have to sleep around to move ahead, Rin."

"Touché," Rin said with a small chuckle. "I remember Sasha from the days you started modeling. He always had a soft spot for you. I'm happy for you."

"Are you Rin?" Soubi frowned, trying to figure out how this man had gotten so cynical. He'd once looked up to Rin, loved him with everything. Soubi sighed, truthfully a small part of him still loved Rin.

"I hate that you're happy without me." Rin confessed staring into his coffee. "It seems like I could never get you there even when we were together. I saw you the night you met Ryo."

Soubi froze in his seat thinking about the struggle he'd faced those days. Trying to fight his attraction to Ryo when he was clearly in love with Rin, he closed his eyes in shame.

"I knew how you felt about Ryo. It was so clear," Rin said quietly. "The moment he walked into that coffee shop where we used to hang out, your eyes would follow his every move. The days when _Blazing Red_ had gigs at his brother's club, you'd sit next to him, listening to him and his friends. It pissed the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry," Soubi whispered unable to say anything else.

"The flings with Lira were meant to be payback for that, but Lira started taking it to another level. Acting like we were dating to push you away," Rin sighed. "I'm sorry for that, Soubi. You deserved better."

Soubi felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked furiously refusing to cry in such a public place. He reached for his coffee and took a sip of the hot sweet liquid. He cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"How is it going with the tour?"

"Very good," Rin said taking the subject change. "We're going to Seoul in two weeks. We'll be spending a few months there recording."

"Great," Soubi said nodding in approval. He was glad _Blazing Red_ was a success. "You should visit Grandma before you go. She asks about you when I go see her."

Rin's eyes widened slightly. "You've been going to see Grandma willingly?"

Soubi laughed.

"Yeah, she's helping me take care of someone special."

"Ryo," Rin said with a flat unimpressed tone.

Soubi chuckled and shook his head.

"No, his brother's fiancé, her name is Sakura. She's pregnant. She's staying with Ryo and me but obviously none of us has any experience. I introduced her to Grandma."

Rin pushed his coffee mug away.

"I heard about Tohaku. I'd have come to the funeral, but—

Rin stopped meeting Soubi's gaze, and then he shrugged.

"Tell Ryo I'm sorry about his brother."

"I will." Soubi promised. "You should call him."

Rin gave him a skeptical look.

"I guess it's too soon," Soubi said with a small smile.

Rin nodded in agreement.

"How are you holding up against Sei Asada?"

Soubi felt his shoulders droop.

"She won't even talk to me when she visits. She acts like I'm not in the room with her."

"What does Ryo say?" Rin asked.

"What can he say?" Soubi shrugged. "She's his mother and she just lost one son."

"You're his lover." Rin defended his words sharp, surprising. "He should defend you."

"It will take time, Rin." Soubi waved him down. "It's not like I see her everyday. I only have to deal with her once or twice. Since we moved to Ginza a month ago, she has only showed up twice. I can handle it."

Rin nodded and shook his head.

"You're one of a kind, Soubi- _chan_. I'm sitting here wondering whether to fight for you or advice you. Do you know how unique that is?"

Soubi laughed.

"Advice me then," Soubi said with a small smile.

"My advice is no good. I couldn't hold on to you when I had you, kiddo." Rin sat back in his seat. "It seems I have no choice but to accept you and Ryo Asada."

"That's a step forward," Soubi complimented his smile widening.

Soubi hoped that time would heal his friendship with Rin. Maybe one day, he would be able to sit with Rin and listen to him play his guitar as they had done so long ago. He hoped that it was not too much to ask of fate.

They talked for an hour, and then Rin got a call from his manager. They left the restaurant together and Soubi hugged Rin goodbye when they got outside. Rin got into a taxi and Soubi clutched his folder and started for the Asada building a block away.

****

"Hold still," Sakura held Soubi's right hand against her belly. "He's kicking, you'll miss it if you—

"Oh, I felt it." Soubi laughed at the small thump in Sakura's stomach. "Wow, does it hurt?"

Sakura smiled.

"No, it's comforting. At least I know he's okay."

"You're going to make a great mum." Soubi hugged her and turned to the bread he'd been buttering for her. "We're going to have to visit the gym though when this pregnancy is over. I can't believe you want to eat this."

Sakura adjusted her blouse over her belly. "It's toasted bread."

"Yeah, fully coated with butter," Soubi shuddered. "I hate butter."

He held out the piece of toast and grimaced as she bit into it with relish.

"Jeez, look at you eating that."

Sakura gave him a happy smile and slid on to a comfortable high chair at the kitchen table.

"Stop complaining," she said between bites. "I'm eating for two here."

Soubi placed four toasted slices on a plate and passed them to her.

"Eat all you can. I'll get you tea."

"With milk and two sugars," Sakura ordered.

"Yes, little mother."

Soubi went to the large refrigerator and reached for a milk carton.

Ryo walked in as he was reaching for a mug from a cupboard above the kitchen counter.

"Hi, Ryo-s _an_ ," Sakura greeted him with a wide smile. "You're home early!"

"Sakura," Ryo replied in a curt tone. "Soubi, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Soubi frowned and put the mug down.

"Jeez, are you in a bad mood again? Did the stock market crash?"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes. Come with me to the living room."

Soubi glanced at Sakura with a frown before he pulled off the dishtowel on his shoulder. Ryo strode out of the kitchen leaving behind an enticing whiff of expensive cologne.

Sakura waved him after Ryo.

"Go, find out what's wrong, Soubi. I'll get my own tea."

Soubi sighed and threw the dishtowel on the counter. He hurried after Ryo wondering what could have happened. Walking along the long hallway, he went into the spacious living room to find Ryo at the bar in the corner pouring a drink.

Ryo's blue suit jacket was tossed with careless abandon on the couch. Soubi picked it up and arranged it neatly over the couch arm.

"Was it a bad day at work?" Soubi asked, leaning on a cream armchair watching Ryo toss back his scotch. "I can prepare you a bath and—

Ryo picked up a folder from the bar counter and stalked toward him, dark eyes blazing with anger. Soubi gasped when Ryo tossed the folder at him. The contents spilled to the floor, like confetti, on the beige carpet. Soubi sat still for a moment too surprised to do anything else but stare at the photographs on the floor.

Bending down, Soubi picked up a glossy photo and turned it around so that he could see who was on it. All he could see was Rin's red Mohawk for a moment before he realized he was looking at Rin walk into a familiar restaurant. He picked another photo and his eyes widened as he saw himself walk into the same restaurant.

"Are you having me followed?"

"Do I need to?" Ryo asked. "Can you imagine my shock when my secretary walked in with those photos? I am trying to keep things calm between you and my mother, but you're doing your best to screw it up. What the fuck were you doing with Rin?"

Soubi picked up more photos and shook his head not understanding the problem. They were only having coffee in the pictures. Why the hell was Ryo overreacting like he'd received a sex video?

"Ryo," Soubi tried to keep his tone calm. "I called Rin early this morning because I wanted to give him back his key. We talked, had coffee and then we parted."

"How many times have you seen each other?" Ryo asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Once, today," Soubi said confused. "I swear—

"I can't—

"I'd never cheat on you with Rin of all people."

Soubi scoffed and went through the rest of the photos trying to understand where Ryo's anger was coming from. He froze when he got to one where Rin was holding him tight outside a hotel.

"This was taken before Rin left, Ryo. Before you and I were together. Did you even look at these pictures?"

Ryo stepped back from him.

"Why would you meet Rin without telling me?"

"When was the last time you came home early enough to talk to me?" Soubi asked dumping the photos he was holding on the floor. "This morning I tried to make you breakfast and you told me you had to go."

"We have phones, don't we?"

"We sleep in the same bed. Why do I have to call you when I should be able to talk with you face to face?"

"My schedule is very busy, Soubi." Ryo sat on the couch and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. "I can't always make it home like I used to, and I explained the breakfast meeting."

Their balance was breaking, Soubi realized in a panic. Slowly cracking and he didn't know how to hold it together. He stared at Ryo seated on the edge of the couch his face buried in his hands.

Where was he going to get the strength to hold them together?

"I should have told you about meeting Rin," Soubi murmured. "I— I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make trouble with your mom."

Soubi knelt on the carpet, before Ryo. He ran fingers through Ryo's hair and placed his right hand on Ryo's tense shoulders.

"It's going to be fine."

Ryo shook his head.

"When I saw those photos, all I kept imagining was you in that bastard's arms. I can't bear to lose you to Rin, Soubi. I can't."

"You won't." Soubi soothed pulling Ryo into his arms. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Ryo wrapped his arms around him and Soubi closed his eyes as they hugged tight. He had no idea where the hell they were heading. Those photos had been deliberate, designed to break them apart. He wondered if it was Sei's doing.

Soubi held Ryo tighter.

"We need to trust each other, Ryo."

"I trust you, Soubi. It's just Rin—

"I went to give him back his key. I don't care about him, only you, Ryo. I love you."

Ryo fell silent and they stayed holding each other like that for a while.

***

They had dinner in the kitchen, the three of them, almost like a family, Ryo thought studying Soubi.

"I went for my doctor's appointment with Soubi. He's been really good to me today," Sakura said. "He was so excited to touch my stomach when the baby started kicking earlier."

Ryo smiled glancing at Soubi who sat across him on the small kitchen table.

"What did the doctor say?" Ryo asked.

"Everything is going well," Sakura continued. "The baby is due in April. I have six weeks left, but he says the due date might extend a couple days."

"We've prepared the nursery for when you return from the hospital." Soubi assured Sakura. "I even have the driver on alert."

Ryo forced another smile for Soubi, his heart heavy tonight. He hated how he'd reacted in the living room. It was hard to explain the white anger that had taken over when he'd been standing in his office. Those pictures, knowing that his secretary had probably gone through them; he tried not to curse under his breath.

"Ryo," Sakura said and he glanced at her with a frown. "Did you hear what Soubi said? He was accepted into Sophia University, he's all set for school."

"What?" He glanced at Soubi. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to school?"

Soubi gave him a shy smile.

"I wanted to be sure I'd be accepted first. I paid for my classes this morning."

"With what money?" Ryo asked in shock.

"I paid with my money. I know how to save, Ryo." Soubi frowned at him.

Ryo blinked.

_What the hell was happening between them_?

It was like he didn't live here anymore.

"Does Kaito know?"

"Of course, he took me there the first day. He helped me with the registration forms and choosing a major."

"You couldn't have asked me?"

"You were at work, Ryo. Seriously, it's no big deal. I haven't even started yet, I'm pretty sure they'll be plenty of forms—

"That's not the point." Ryo pushed his chair back and stood. "How can you not tell me about something this major in your life?"

"Ryo- _san_ —

"Excuse me, Sakura."

Ryo left the kitchen in quick strides and went upstairs. He pulled off his tie, threw it on their large bed in the bedroom, and started stripping. Ryo headed into the shower hoping the hot spray would clear away the blazing jealousy in his head.

***

"Go talk to him," Sakura urged Soubi. "He's feeling left out."

"I think he needs a few minutes to calm down. Go on and eat, stop worrying about us."

Sakura sighed and rubbed her belly.

"How can I not worry? I heard you guys arguing in the living room. And now Ryo's walking away from family dinner, that's not right."

"Well, maybe the problem is that it's not really a family dinner." Soubi pushed his chair back. "We're all crazy for trying to make this work, Sakura."

Soubi started clearing the table, taking Ryo's uneaten food to the kitchen sink. How the hell had such a lovely day turned into hell?

He fussed over Sakura, getting her to finish her food. She kept him company as he cleaned up in the kitchen and they went to a lounge upstairs to watch television. Sakura fell asleep in the middle of her favorite drama. Soubi woke her up and bundled her off to bed. When she was tucked in, he closed her door and stood in the hallway staring at the master bedroom doors with dread.

Soubi paused in the lounge to turn off the television and fold the blanket Sakura had been using. In the middle of folding, he cursed his inability to face Ryo's unidentified emotions. Because that's what they were: unidentified, irrational, unjustified jealousies and Ryo owed him an apology.

Dumping the blanket on the couch, he stalked toward the master bedroom and flung the door open. He stopped short when he found Ryo sound asleep on his side of the bed the covers riding low on his naked waist.

"Bastard," Soubi mumbled under his breath as he entered their room and closed the door.

Ryo was being unfair.

***

"You owe Soubi an apology," Sakura said, early the next morning. She stood leaning on the doorjamb in the kitchen watching Ryo make coffee. "He was telling you something important and you flew into a rage."

"Are you his champion now?"

"He's growing on me. He has a certain innocence that makes everything seem easier. You weren't very nice last night."

Ryo braced his hands on the counter.

"It just happened."

"What's really going on?" Sakura asked with a frown. "You're not yourself lately."

"My mother is pushing to separate the Asada Group despite having promised not to. Before we moved in here a month ago, she hadn't found the support to make it happen but now she has it. She's making trouble for me. She keeps finding new ways to control everything I do."

"What does she have against you?"

"I'm gay, Sakura. I'm in love with a super model that dated a rock star, got high on ecstasy and slept around with any willing body up until five months ago. Oh, and my brother was killed by drug dealers. My reputation is shredded to bits. No one in the board trusts my decisions, my father is getting skeptical and I have no way to fight my mother. We're going to lose everything if she keeps this up."

"I didn't realize I was such a burden to you," Soubi said, his voice laced with pain.

Sakura gasped.

Ryo lifted his head turning to look at Soubi standing a few feet away, his slender body wrapped in a royal blue gown, tears tracking down his cheeks.

"Soubi—," Ryo started.

Soubi turned and ran back upstairs with a soft sob.

Ryo stared at Sakura for a moment then because he had no idea how to fix this, he turned and swept the coffee maker to the floor. The loud crash satisfied his frustrations.

***

Seventeen

The atmosphere in the penthouse was cooler than the weather outside. The six weeks leading up to Sakura's due date saw the weather warming but the relationship between Soubi and Ryo deteriorated.

Soubi couldn't fault Ryo for the comments in the kitchen that awful morning. His past was real, he had slept around, and gotten high, and dated Rin Kouga. Nothing could change that truth.

Soubi watched a young woman carry flowers to a stand in the corner of the living room. The caterer he'd hired with Sasha's blessing had taken over the kitchen. Soubi was doing his best to make a good impression for Ryo's sake. Despite their relationship, Ryo's career at Asada Group was taking flight. The social gatherings increasing, most of them held here at Ryo's apartment. Ryo depended on him to make sure everything was arranged.

Soubi sighed. With Ryo's job and Sakura's baby, they seemed to have no choice but to struggle along. Sakura's doctor had ordered bed rest for her so Ryo hired a nurse to help Soubi take care of her. They were handling their new life.

As for their relationship, he and Ryo slept in the same bed, but that was all they ever did. Ryo hadn't touched him since that horrible morning.

Yesterday, when Soubi went for a photo shoot at Sasha Inc. one of the dressers had hit on him. That was at least reassuring. He still had it, even though he was choosing to be faithful to the Ice Lord. Soubi scoffed at his dedication to the man.

Damn Ryo for treating him this way.

Leaving the living room, Soubi paused at the foyer to pick up the stack of mail on the table. Sakura was waiting for her favorite gossip magazines. He figured he'd spend a few minutes with her while he waited for the party planner to finish.

Upstairs in Sakura's room, Soubi smiled when he found her watching a Korean drama while she reclined on the bed. Her stomach was big, he was worried she was getting twins but the doctor had assured them there was only one baby. Pregnancy was such a mystery.

He held out the magazines and she grinned happily.

"How's the party planning?"

"I'm floating down there. I'm hoping the party planner knows what she's doing."

"Aw, Soubi- _chan_ ," Sakura cooed as she went through her magazines.

Soubi stretched out on Sakura's bed and stared at the television. When she squealed in excitement, he turned to find her holding up Japan Vogue.

"You made the cover! Why didn't you tell me?"

Soubi smiled at her enthusiasm. His achievements were a nuisance to Ryo. He was finding it hard to be excited about his growing popularity.

"We can go out when you get out of this bed and little Toshi is born."

Sakura shook her head at his nickname for the baby.

"You and Kaito are going to give my son a prince complex."

"He _is_ a prince," Soubi insisted, relaxing in her company.

"Will you look at that, your boyfriend made the cover too," she said, holding up the Nikkei Business Magazine. A serious Ryo stared back at him dressed in a black tailor-made suit and white shirt.

Sakura flipped through the pages until she found the full story. She smiled at Soubi and started reading.

"Twenty-six year old Ryosuke Asada is the new Vice-Chairman of Asada Group. Charming, handsome and single, the young billionaire is known for creative ideas—

"Single?" Soubi cut her off staring at her in shock. "Am I the ghost in the closet?"

"I'm sure they didn't mean to write it that way."

"Yes, they did." Soubi got off the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm going to Shimokita."

"What about the party?"

"If he's so single, then he should worry about his own stupid party. Bed rest, Sakura, don't you dare get off that bed."

Soubi left her room and hurried to the master bedroom. He changed out of his dress shirt and slacks, dragging on a pair of skinny jeans and a blue v-neck t-shirt. Grabbing a jacket and his wallet he headed downstairs.

His cell phone started ringing as he reached the front door. He answered it on the fourth ring.

"Sakura says you're coming here." Kaito stated into his ear. "Don't."

Soubi stopped at the elevator.

"Kaito, I want to come and hang out at the shop."

"Your place is there. Don't let him down."

"I'm not the one denying our relationship with each turn."

"He's under a lot of pressure."

"Does that seem strange that you're the one telling me this instead of him? I'm not the bad guy here."

"It's disturbing that you're actually thinking in terms of good or bad guy. Ryo is your boyfriend, you two should be on each other's side."

The elevator doors opened.

"I can't do this, Kaito."

"What do you expect will happen if you leave right now? He needs you, I know you need him too," Kaito said. "Soubi, Ryo is counting on you to keep it together."

Soubi entered the elevator and closed the doors. Pressing the red button, he sat down on the floor in the elevator and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Ryo did an interview and they called him single. Last week, Sei introduced me to his workmates as his best friend. Tonight, we're holding a party for his office and I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. I miss being in Shimokita, Kaito. I miss being me and having Ryo in the evening."

"Have you asked him about the interviews and how Sei is introducing you?"

"He said to bear it until he was in good standing with the board of directors." Soubi rubbed his forehead and tried to keep the tears at bay. "It hurts, Kaito. I have no idea who the hell to be in this world."

"Okay, take a deep breath." Kaito advised. "Let me hear it, Soubi."

Soubi took in a deep one.

"Now let it out slow. You know Ryo would never put you through anything you can't handle. He knows what he's doing."

"He has no fucking idea what he's doing. We haven't had sex in weeks, Kaito."

"Sex isn't everything," Kaito said with a small laugh.

"Keep laughing, I feel like I'm turning into a monk who masturbates in the shower in case he gets caught. I'm a sexual creature, Kaito. I love having sex. He should know he's torturing me leaving me to my own devices."

"I hope you're in a secure room, Soubi. You're getting kinda loud on the phone."

"I'm in the elevator. You won't let me come over and I don't want to deal with party planning."

Kaito burst into a laugh and Soubi sighed as he picked on his jeans.

"Are you done laughing?"

"When is school starting? I think you have too much time on your hands since you started working for Sasha."

The bell on the elevator started ringing and he got up.

"I have to go, I'll call you later."

"Cut Ryo some slack, it's not his fault he ended up with a mother like Sei. Be good, Soubi."

"Yeah, yeah," Soubi hang up and punched the red button on the elevator.

The doors opened and five of the cater waiters scrambled toward the staircase. It looked like his tirade with Kaito hadn't been as private as he'd thought. Yet another thing to come back and bite him in the ass, Soubi shrugged and headed back to the penthouse.

***

"I'm not single, mother. However many times you put it in print, Soubi will not disappear. Everyone outside that door knows am gay, hiding it is not going to help my reputation."

"You made a promise to me before you took up this job." Sei swiveled his chair from side to side studying him. "You don't get power by having a weakness, Ryosuke. You have to be strong to gain power, and right now you're like a little bird learning to fly."

Ryo shook his head and dropped the magazine on top of the folders he'd yet to go through.

"I'm not in the mood for a philosophy lesson."

"Good, I'm not in a teaching mood." Sei gave him a small smile and crossed her arms against her chest. "I'm in this to win, my dear son. It's time to get things in motion."

"What isn't in motion? I've been working my ass off for two months. Soubi thinks I've abandoned him."

"Well, it's going to get worse before it gets better. You're both still too weak. No one ever lived on love alone, Ryosuke. Sweat, blood, tears, that builds something."

"You should have been a general," Ryo said with a small sneer.

Sei flashed him a startling smile.

"Sarcasm, don't lose that, you're going to need it too. Your boyfriend is going to be in school for the next four years. He's earned a great reputation as a model, good enough to grace Japan Vogue. But he needs heavier guns than a pretty face."

She gave him another small smile.

"You need experience running global business. You're not going to get it managing trivial matters here in Ginza."

"What have you done?"

"Why are you always so suspicious?" Sei demanded with a small frown.

"Have you met yourself, mother?"

She stared at him for a moment and then shrugged in acquiescence.

"You're right, you should be suspicious."

Sei had started out battling to get half the directors on her side. She used his association with Soubi to discredit Ryo to gain the directors' trust.

In reaction, Ryo's father had called Ryo to tell him not to flaunt his lifestyle with the directors if he wanted to do business in Tokyo. That warning had forced Ryo to stop defending his relationship with Soubi.

Ryo's decision to shun the Asada circles for so long had a price, and his brother's blasé attitude had definitely made the company directors skeptical of the Asada children's abilities. So far, they were fighting him on any development ideas he gave. His father was a hardcore conservative who agreed with any decisions the directors made.

Ryo bit back a smile marveling at this relationship he was developing with his mother. It was strange but he was grateful for her constant challenge. She had managed to steer him in the right direction, even as she tortured him and Soubi.

In a bid to restore his reputation with the board, his mother then started getting journalists to interview him, stating he was single and in the market for marriage. It was getting harder to face Soubi. He could only hope Soubi didn't read business magazines.

"Asada has offices in New York," Sei said, breaking into his thoughts. She got up and went to the floor-length windows.

Ryo frowned, already seeing her end game.

"I'm not leaving."

"I'll look after your boyfriend and Tohaku's fiancée while you're away."

Ryosuke scoffed.

"Look after them? I can imagine returning to find them both gone and not wanting to see my face. No, I'm not leaving."

"You need to earn your father's trust. You need his trust to come fast because ten years is too long to wait for progress, Ryosuke. Leave the country, make your mark in an equal environment like the Asada New York offices. Return and take over. No one will question you or your preferences then."

"How long would that take?"

"Three to four years."

She was making sense, but how could he leave for four years?

_Soubi, Sakura_ , he sighed.

"When you come back, it will be easer to protect Soubi," Sei said, shocking him because that was the first time she'd ever said Soubi's name. "Right now, he's fair game, keeping him out of the news hurts him and you. I've seen how you look at him. I can't deny him forever, since he's practically living in your house. The tabloids will start printing gossip and that will only damage your standing at the moment."

Ryo joined her by the windows.

"Mum—

"To be able to keep your promise to me, Ryosuke, you're going to need more than a good heart. I haven't given you too many reasons to trust me but I'm good with this kind of thing. So trust in what I'm saying."

Ryo closed his eyes remembering the photographs her investigators brought to his office.

"I can't trust you with Soubi."

"I'm sorry about the pictures, I needed to—

"We'll end up arguing so please drop that topic. You've been doing the best you can to hurt him. Through interviews, introducing him as my best friend to everyone around here, things aren't easy at home. I'm not proud of how we've been treating him."

"If you want that to change, you know what to do, Ryosuke. At least promise to think about it."

"I'll think about it," Ryo said. "I'll give you my answer after the party tonight. You're coming, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it, dear," she murmured. "Whatever you decide, remember as we speak, your father is controlling half the board, and I, the other. You need both sides to make progress, Ryosuke. Your father won't give you his side until you show him results. Reputation and trust equals control, don't forget that."

Sei left his office soon after and he was left brooding staring out the windows.

***

"Are you sure you don't want to come down for the party?" Soubi asked, watching Sakura pace around her room in slow steps.

She was dressed in a pink maternity nightgown and her right hand was pressed to her back. She looked ready to give birth. She turned her freshly scrubbed face toward him with a frown.

"Can you imagine me in a dinner dress right now?"

He bit his lip not too sure how to answer that. Either way, he was going to be in trouble.

"Ah huh, I thought so." She turned and paced along the wide windows. "Go, try to have fun. You look really handsome tonight, Soubi. I'm sure Ryo will love having you by his side."

Soubi unbuttoned his coal black jacket and perched on the edge of Sakura's bed.

"You'll call me if anything happens, right? You're restless and I don't like it. Are you sure I shouldn't call the doctor—

"Stop worrying, the baby still has two more weeks. He's going to be an April baby not March. I've willed this."

Soubi shook his head.

"Fine, April birthday it is."

She stopped pacing and looked at him.

"You look amazing. I'm jealous of Ryo."

He blushed.

"It's just a suit. Sasha made me stand for hours pinning and prodding. I'm amazed I don't look like a voodoo doll."

"It's a good looking suit. It makes you look like a prince."

"The only prince in this room is kicking in your stomach." Soubi winked.

"I promise to shout loudly if I need help."

"Good, it might save me from boredom."

Sakura waddled to his side and took his hand.

"Stop hiding in my room, I know Ryo is in your bedroom getting dressed. Go talk to him."

Soubi groaned and stood up.

"Who'll help me if I scream?"

Sakura herded him out of her room with strict orders to go straight to the master bedroom.

Soubi made the short walk with reluctant steps. He'd kept busy since Ryo rushed in from his office. He'd hovered in the kitchen, making sure the caterers were set, annoying the party planner who'd done everything already. She'd expertly chased him upstairs to finish getting ready. He sighed and entered the master bedroom.

His gaze immediately found Ryo standing by large mirrors inside their walk-in closet. Ryo was trying to tie his bowtie.

Soubi stared at Ryo's broad shoulders. That dark hair combed back, stopping right at the pristine starched white collar. He imagined walking over and wrapping his arms around Ryo's waist, pressing his face into that strong back and holding on.

"Will you help me with this?" Ryo asked.

Soubi moved to help. He kept his gaze on the bowtie, working with nimble fingers to turn black fabric into a perfect bow. When it was done, he set Ryo's collar right and smoothed his fingers over Ryo's shoulders.

"Look at me, Soubi." Ryo's tone was husky, cajoling.

Soubi obeyed the order helplessly. The deep breath he took bringing in a healthy dose of Ryo's intoxicating cologne. His gaze dropped to Ryo's lips, wanting to kiss him.

"Aren't you going to ask about the article? I know you read it."

"What's the point?" Soubi decided against the kiss and stepped back to lean on the mirror. "I figure it's none of my business."

"Is that why you didn't tell me about landing on the cover of Japan Vogue?"

Soubi shrugged.

"Is this how we're going to end up?" Ryo asked, a frown dancing on his forehead. "You used to tell me everything, Soubi. We're acting like strangers sleeping in the same bed."

"Is your mother coming to the party?" he asked with a small sigh.

"She has to, she works with Asada." Ryo adjusted his belt and trousers.

Soubi nodded. It was going to be another night of being introduced as the best friend instead of boyfriend.

How long were they going to survive this charade?

"I'll meet you downstairs."

Soubi pushed off the mirror and headed out of the closet.

Ryo grabbed his arm and stopped him, pushing him back to the mirror.

"Soubi, I really hate it when you wear that expression.

"What expression?"

"Like you don't belong here," Ryo said, "as though you're not important to me."

"I'm playing a role you and your mother set for me. I'm your best friend, remember?"

Ryo leaned down and captured his lips in a brutal kiss. Soubi closed his eyes as he savored the harsh kiss, enjoying the quick short pain when Ryo bit at his lower lip before he pulled back.

"Does that feel like we're best friends?" Ryo demanded. "Does it, Soubi?"

"I'm not the one you need to convince," Soubi said, his palms braced on Ryo's shoulders. "I know exactly what I am to you, Ryo. I think you're the one struggling with that reality. If you'll excuse me now, I have to go downstairs."

"Soubi—

"I don't think we should have this talk before this party." Soubi pushed him back and adjusted his jacket. "If you want me to make it through this stupid charade, you'll wait until the party ends."

Soubi rushed out of the bedroom fighting tears, his body raging with need. Another time, he'd have rushed to his old model friends, gotten high, spent the night in some stranger's bed, and been happy for it.

Now, the thought of being touched by someone other than Ryo repulsed him. He was a different person. Ryo had taught him what it was to be loved. He wanted to hold on to this relationship despite their problems because he liked the person he was when he was with Ryo.

It was almost eight o'clock. The doorbell rang as Soubi got to the living room. He took a deep bracing breath and headed for the foyer. Opening the door, he plastered on a smile for their first guests.

***

"You're Soubi Tanaka," the ambassador's wife said. "You're on the cover of this month's vogue. My daughter won't believe me when I tell her I met you. Ryosuke- _san_ is so lucky to have a friend like you. Did you dress him today?"

Soubi managed to swallow his champagne without choking.

"Of course," he murmured.

"How lucky for him," the woman continued. "You should visit our house sometime. You and my daughter would make good friends. Don't you think, Soubi- _san_? You can give her some pointers about Ryosuke- _san_. I think they'd make a good couple."

Soubi's grip on his champagne glass tightened. One more comment about her daughter and Ryo was going to set him off. He could feel it, two hours of these wives getting close to him to ask him how to get a date with Ryo—

"Soubi-chan," Sei Asada cut into his thoughts. "Mrs. Tobukawa, I need to have a chat with this young man."

The ambassador's wife beamed at Sei as though she were a goddess instead of the devil's advocate.

"Sei- _san_ , go ahead. I'll go and try out the buffet. I hear they have great chocolate truffles."

"Yes, do go get some. Our Soubi out did himself today."

Sei praised making Soubi feel like he might have a heart attack. What was she playing at now? She smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Your mask is cracking." Sei warned as she led the way out of the living room.

She paused long enough to grab a fresh glass of wine from a cater waiter and led him to the study tucked into the hallway. Closing the door, she exchanged his champagne glass with the wine.

"You need to get stronger, Soubi."

"I've heard that before."

Soubi took a healthy gulp of wine and sunk into a leather chair in the elegant study room.

"Well, it's true."

Sei crossed her arms against her chest and stood staring at him.

"If you pulled me in here to gloat about your success in dubbing me his friend, I'm not in the mood." Soubi sat back in his chair and matched her glare. "I sleep in his bed. I'm the one he fucks."

"From what I hear from the cater waiters, that hasn't happened in a while."

"What does it matter? He's never going to go for those precious daughters they want to throw at him."

"Does it make you feel better to get this crude?"

"It depends on who I'm talking to."

"Enough," Sei ordered. "I know you're his lover. I'm perfectly aware of what you are to Ryo. I need your help."

Soubi laughed, a bitter sound that left a bad taste in his mouth.

"I'm pretty sure I ordered champagne and wine out there. You must have brought the _sake_ and you should share 'coz I need to get drunker than I am right now to listen to you."

"My goodness, are you always this annoying?" Sei frowned at him. "How are you two even together?"

"You're the one asking for my help." Soubi took another healthy sip of wine. "I'm going to need to drink at least two bottles of this wine to accept any offer from you."

"You're definitely not the simpering fool I met a couple months ago. You've grown a back bone."

Sei shifted, the emerald dress she was wearing hugging every curve on her body to perfection. She was in her fifties—had to be—and yet she looked like she could walk the runway.

Well, plastic surgery had to be like buying candy for her, Soubi decided.

"Listen to me, you idiot. Ryosuke is struggling with a choice. You or his position in the Asada Group, I need you to help him choose Asada."

"Why would I do that?" Soubi asked with a small sneer. "Asada is changing him, turning him into something else—

"You love him, don't you?" Sei asked with a raised brow.

"Of course I love him. That's why I'm going to help him choose us instead of this godforsaken Asada Group."

"Listen to me," Sei said her tone ice cold. "Ryosuke has been strong for you, protecting you, taken care of you for years. He stepped away from the Asada spotlight to allow his brother to shine. He's constantly giving up so much of himself. Are you hearing me?"

"That's why I'll fight to protect him no matter what from the likes of you."

"You can protect him, Soubi, but do it in the right way. Help him earn his father's trust, and take hold of his position. If he didn't want to be here, he wouldn't be, and we both know that very well."

Soubi stared into his wine at that last comment. He'd been thinking about it for a while now.

Ryo had every right to walk away from the Asada Group and return to Shimokita with him. Yet, Ryo hadn't given up yet. Not when those pictures of Soubi and Rin circulated in the company, not when Sei introduced Soubi as Ryo's best friend. Ryo hadn't protested once to that claim, not even to Sei. He'd taken it, and kept working for Asada.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Leave him, or let him leave you."

Soubi shook his head, panic striking deep inside him at the thought of leaving Ryo.

"I can't, anything else but that, I can't let him leave."

"You'll keep hurting each other if you stay here. He's not strong enough to defend your relationship. The corporate world is unforgiving, Soubi. They judge a leader's character, lifestyle, the people he loves and lives with. Ryo is looking at commanding a work force of fifteen hundred people in Tokyo alone. Sometimes he'll have to face off with the older generation who won't understand his choices. They won't trust him in business—

"Because he's gay," Soubi finished for her. "Why can't they? What is so special about being straight? They're all living lives they hate, with women they hate."

"Anger is allowed, Soubi. I understand but it won't change much. They'll still judge Ryo and make it hard for him to do business, and force Ryo's father to mistrust him. Ryo will keep fighting to protect you and in the end, you'll be left with bitterness and anger."

Soubi pressed his right palm to his eyes and bit his lip hard to keep from crying.

"How long would we have to be apart?"

"Finish your college," Sei advised, her tone quiet, solemn. "I'll make sure you meet the right people in journalism and—

"I want to be an author," Soubi said.

"Fine, in the publishing world," Sei adjusted with an impressed tone. "Make sure you are stronger and that you have learned how to navigate through parties and deal with people like Mrs. Tobukawa by the time you graduate."

"Where will Ryo be?"

"The board wants to test him out in New York."

"New York!" Soubi gaped shaking his head. "Why can't I go with him there?"

"We're backtracking, Soubi. Ryo will end up back in Tokyo leading Asada Group one day as the Chairman. He needs the four years in an environment where all he has to worry about is business."

"That sounds like you're trying to break us up," Soubi accused.

"If your love is as strong as both you and he boast, then four years shouldn't sound like a sentence." Sei challenged with a raised brow.

Soubi got up from his seat and met her gaze full on.

"I'll think about it."

"Think fast, he's giving me his decision tonight."

"You must be enjoying this," Soubi accused, his eyes narrowed, "playing with our lives like we're pieces on a board game. How can you when Ryo is your son?"

"I love him," Sei replied.

Soubi was surprised to see the truth on her face. She did love Ryo very much, but he also saw ambition and a lust for control. He frowned hating the Asada world all the more.

He sipped his wine and left the room without another word.

***

Eighteen

Ryo excused himself, leaving three Asada accounting executives when he saw Soubi enter the living room. A frown danced on his forehead as he realized Soubi was drinking too much tonight. Catching up with Soubi, he took his elbow and pulled him to the wall.

"What's going on? Where have you been?"

"Talking to your mother," Soubi said, finishing his wine. His face was flushed with color and his eyes were bright as though he'd been on the verge of tears. "When were you going to tell me about going to New York?"

Cursing under his breath, Ryo glanced around the room in time to see Sei Asada walk in with a bright smile.

Why couldn't she have waited until later?

"I was going to tell you tonight—

"You should go." Soubi shocked him.

Ryo tightened his hold on Soubi's elbow and led him back out of the living room. He hurried Soubi into the study.

"Hey, I'm starting to hate this room." Soubi protested as Ryo slammed the door closed.

Desperation had Ryo pulling Soubi into his arms and kissing him until they both couldn't breathe. He kissed him until Soubi clung to his shoulders, moaning with need.

"Take it back," Ryo begged, breaking their kiss.

He would fight the board and his father if Soubi asked.

Soubi wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Ryo ran a hand down Soubi's back and held him tight.

"Take it back, Soubi."

Ryo closed his eyes feeling weak, unable to imagine not being with Soubi like this for four years.

"I can't," Soubi whispered into his right shoulder. "It's my turn to protect you."

"I can stay and fight them if you ask me to, Soubi. I'll make it work. I'll make us work."

Soubi shook his head.

Tears filled Ryo's eyes.

"I love you so much, Ryo. I love you so much that I can accept remaining by your side even if it's as your best friend."

Ryo closed his eyes at the pain that filled his heart.

"I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry they're treating you this way—

"Shh..." Soubi soothed stroking his fingers through Ryo's hair. "I was so angry earlier when I read that article. I wanted to go back to Shimokitazawa but Kaito talked me down. He told me to back you up. So, I am."

"Soubi—

"I want revenge on that Mrs. Nobutakawa."

Ryo laughed through his tears.

"It's Tobukawa, babe."

"Whatever, she asked me to give her daughter pointers because you two would make a great couple. I wanted to scratch her eyes out but I restrained myself." Soubi sighed. "I'm sorry for both of us right now."

"I want to make them accept you, Soubi." Ryo trembled as he held his lover tight. "I want to introduce you as my partner, my boyfriend and have their respect."

"And you will," Soubi declared. "Go to New York, your mother explained it—, she sounded like she was making sense."

"What will we do for four years?"

"New York is a big city, Ryosuke Asada. And you know they invented these awesome machines that can fly in the sky a while back. Within hours, we'd be able to see each other. My boyfriend is a billionaire or so I read in some article today. I'm pretty sure he can afford my tickets and frequent flyer miles."

"You'd do that?" Ryo asked. "It wouldn't be nearly enough time—

"I'd go to the moon if you asked me."

"You've been watching too many of those Korean dramas with Sakura."

Soubi pulled back slightly and smiled.

"I'd like to point out that this is the first time we've really talked in weeks. Can you never keep things from me like this again? I don't ever want to get information about you from your mother."

"I seem to recall having a familiar conversation with you a few months ago." Ryo frowned staring into Soubi's face. "What have you done with the real Soubi?"

"This is a new Soubi Tanaka, thank you. The face of Sasha Inc, supermodel on Japan Vogue and writer-to-be," Soubi declared with a wide smile. "I'm going to make you proud, lover. They won't know what to do with us when we're done."

"I thought it was going to be easy, Soubi." Ryo confessed with a regretful tone. "It's always been before. I painted, ran the shop with Kaito, no one cared what I was doing with my life or who was in it. I figured they'd let me go on like that."

"I understand," Soubi said. He sighed and glanced at the door. "We have another hour out there."

"I know." Ryo held on to him. "I'm going to make love to you later, I miss you so much."

Soubi tightened his hold on him.

"I've gotten pretty good with my hand in the shower. You're going to have to dish out a whole bunch of sexual favors to impress me."

Ryo laughed.

"And here I thought I was your only lover."

A soft knock came on the door and they pulled apart reluctantly. Soubi handed him a handkerchief for his face and answered.

"It's open."

Sei Asada slipped into the room, her gaze suspicious as she looked at Soubi then at Ryo.

"Everyone's wondering where you've both gone to?"

"Only you," Soubi answered. "Everyone else is mellowed out by the champagne and wine."

"Do you ever quit?" Sei glared at Soubi.

"I haven't had proper sex in weeks, forgive my frustration," Soubi declared making Sei gasp.

Ryo grinned as Soubi left the room with quick strides.

"He's a whole new level of pain in the ass." Sei shook her head in disbelief. "Are you sure you don't want to dump him?"

"Mother, what did you tell him?"

"The truth," Sei said without remorse. "Have you made a decision?"

"Yes." Ryo glanced at Soubi's handkerchief. "It won't be easy for any of us, but I'll do it."

"Good, he's stronger than I thought. I promise to look after him."

Ryo winced. "I'm afraid to trust that promise."

"Well, it's a new world, isn't it? We'll have to see what happens," Sei said with a mysterious smile.

***

Soubi and Ryo bade the last of their guests' goodbye at around eleven o'clock that evening. Soubi fought the urge to hold on to Ryo's arm as they stood by the door. When they'd had friends over at Shimokita, he'd loved when they were standing out by the door telling everyone goodbye. Ryo's arm would usually be around his shoulders, or his waist. Right now though, Ryo stood stiff beside him, bidding god-awful Mrs. Tobukawa and her crew goodbye. It seemed as though their upgrade to high society was coming with a horrible price.

When the door finally closed after the last cater waiter, Soubi pulled off his tie and threw it on the closest chair.

"I'm going upstairs to check on Sakura."

Soubi started for the stairs. When he got to Sakura's door, he was surprised to find Ryo right behind him.

They knocked quietly and entered the dim room. Sakura was deep asleep in her bed, the television still running. Ryo picked up the remote from the floor, switched off the television and placed it on the bedside table. Soubi pulled the blankets higher over Sakura.

They left the room as quietly as they had entered.

"She's so big now," Ryo commented as they stopped in the hallway.

Soubi undid his hair from the tight ponytail he'd had all night and moaned in relief.

"I keep thinking she's about to go into labor. Grandma says it will happen real fast and abrupt."

"Don't worry we'll get to the hospital on time."

Ryo reached out to touch his hair and he closed his eyes at the pleasure of Ryo's fingers in his hair.

"Want to go take a shower with me?" Soubi asked after a moment. He glanced at Ryo expecting him to refuse, claim he was tired—

Then, Ryo kissed him hungrily.

"I'd love to."

Minutes later they were both in the large shower stall in their bathroom. With his arms wrapped around Ryo's shoulders, Soubi found Ryo's mouth with his. It was what he wanted. All he ever wanted, he thought as he poured himself into the kiss. Water cascaded over them. Ryo held him tight as they kissed. All thoughts of the party, and Ryo leaving scattered away. He held on to Ryo and savored their closeness everything inside him trembling with need.

Ryo didn't allow him a chance to think as he took him in his hand, bringing him to a fast orgasm. A few minutes later, Soubi gasped in pleasure as Ryo slipped inside him. His palms pressed on the shower tiles, he tilted his head back as Ryo took him with a fierce need that brought them both to a turbulent release.

"Oh my gods don't stop," Soubi gasped, arching his hips on the bed minutes later.

Ryo sucked on his cock, licked at the tip with his tongue before he wrapped his hand around him and stroked. Fire burned through him, driving his orgasm, Soubi came into Ryo's mouth with wild passionate cries. Ryo licked him clean before he knelt on the bed with a wicked grin.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Soubi asked, when he could breathe again.

Ryo grabbed a pillow.

"I'm only helping you work out your frustration."

Soubi ran a caressing hand over Ryo's hard length.

"How are we going to make it through four years without this?"

Ryo had him lift his hips so that he could slide the pillow under his ass. Soubi gasped as Ryo settled between his legs. Ryo's hot throbbing erection sliding against his crack for a moment. His hands moved up to run over Ryo's back, pulling Ryo over him. Ryo took his mouth in a hot kiss. Soubi moaned when he tasted himself in Ryo's mouth. Ryo rubbed his cock against his and all rational thought disappeared when Ryo entered him once again.

"We'll make it," Ryo's voice was rough, confident.

Soubi's fingers dug into Ryo's back, he ground his hips, savoring Ryo's hardness deep inside him.

Ryo surged forward, their mouths melded as he slid out again, and then started a slow tantalizing rhythm. Ryo slid into him with such ease, making love to him, their gasps heated. He clung to Ryo, delirious with sensation, when Ryo's hand slid between them to stroke him, he cried out as Ryo changed into a hard fast rhythm that had them both coming in an endless convulsion. His heart beating wildly, his head filled with Ryo's harsh gasps.

Ryo rolled them both over so that Soubi was on top him. Pressing a soft kiss on Ryo's sweaty chest, he bit Ryo's hard nipple gently. Ryo sunk fingers into his hair in retaliation.

"I wish we could lock the door and live here forever." Soubi propped his chin on Ryo's chest. "Wouldn't that be great?"

"It would, they'd be no meetings to go to."

"No interviews from pesky reporters."

"No parents to answer to," Ryo said.

"I'd have you to myself all the time."

Ryo shifted, so that he was reclining on the pillows.

"Soubi—

"Let's just stay like this, Ryo. No more talking," he closed his eyes. "I'm going to sleep now."

Ryo tangled his fingers in his hair.

"Alright," Ryo murmured.

***

"Soubi," Ryo's voice penetrated his sleep-hazed mind hours later. "Wake up. We need to take Sakura to hospital."

Soubi rubbed his nose and rolled over, pushing the sheets away. He blinked sleep away when he realized their room was ablaze with light. Ryo threw clothes at him.

"Sakura's water broke."

Soubi grabbed the long sleeved t-shirt and pulled it on. Ryo left their bedroom as he was wearing his drawstring sweatpants. Pushing his hair out of his face, he ran out of their bedroom to Sakura's room.

He found her trying to pull on a coat over her nightgown.

"Soubi, grab the bag we packed for the baby. Ryo is already getting the driver."

"Are you in pain? Remember the breathing they taught you—

"Yes, get the bags and the blanket Grandma knitted for the baby."

Soubi rushed to the closet and got both pre-packed bags. He slung them over his shoulder and went to help Sakura wear her coat. He led her out of the bedroom headed for the stairs. Right before she took a step, she gripped his hand tight and gasped in pain.

"Oh gods, breathe Sakura." Soubi urged although she was cutting off the circulation in his hand.

"That's easy to say, the pains are coming faster." She complained and they started a slow trek down the stairs.

Ryo came back in time to swing her up into his arms and carried her to the elevator. Their ride to the hospital was fast, the driver cutting through traffic like a mad man. Ryo called the doctor and by the time they reached the hospital, everything was ready for Sakura.

Ryo and Soubi waited in a private room for an hour. Ryo stood tense by the windows the entire time. Soubi went out to get coffee and brought them each a cup hoping to relieve Ryo's anxiety.

"I put enough sugar to hide the bland taste." Soubi teased.

Ryo gave him a short phantom smile.

"We're here for a good thing, Ryo," Soubi said. "Sakura is going to be fine."

"I couldn't help remembering the night we rushed Tohaku to the hospital." Ryo shook his head. "I prayed so hard that night."

"We all did." Soubi put his paper cup on a small table and pulled Ryo into a hug.

A polite cough interrupted their embrace and they both turned to find a smiling nurse.

"Congratulations, you have a bouncing baby nephew."

Soubi jumped in joy, hugging Ryo before he turned to the nurse.

"It's alright if we both go in, right?"

"Yes, Miss Sakura is asking for you. I'll show you the way."

Soubi held on to Ryo's hand and they followed the kind nurse. Sakura was installed in a private room. They found the doctor checking on Sakura while the nurses fussed over the sleeping baby boy in a cot close by. Sakura burst into tears when she saw them and Soubi rushed to give her a hug.

"You did well," he praised, petting her damp hair. "Little Toshi is gorgeous."

Sakura clung to him. "He is a March baby after all."

Soubi smiled and kissed her cheek. "Barely, it's just after one o'clock. April 1st, Sakura."

Soubi perched on the bed holding on to her hand while the nurses helped Ryo hold the baby.

Soubi bit his lip when Ryo cooed to the baby. It was an unforgettable sight. The tall dark haired angel holding a tiny baby, so gentle. Ryo looked at him with the happiest smile Soubi had ever seen.

"We're really a family," Sakura said, squeezing his hand. "We're a family, Soubi."

Ryo came over to sit beside Soubi on Sakura's bed. As Soubi stared at the small innocent baby in Ryo's arms, he couldn't help but agree with Sakura.

***

"Toshiro Asada is the cutest baby on earth," Soubi and Kaito declared as they stood over the baby cot in Sakura's room.

It was the second week of April. Spring was making an appearance outside.

"You two are sucking all the energy from the baby. Sit down." Sakura warned glaring at them.

She shook her head when none of them moved. Sipping her tea, she turned to find Ryo watching her with an amused expression.

"Are you going to be able to manage these two when I leave?"

She shrugged. "I'll keep them in line."

"Keep who in line?" Kaito demanded, adjusting the blanket over the baby gently. "You're talking about Soubi, right?"

Sakura chuckled.

"Well, you too, Kaito-san, if anyone saw your hair, they'd think you don't own a comb."

"He doesn't." Soubi made a face at Kaito and smiled when the baby yawned. "Should we wake him, he's hungry."

"He's sleeping, you idiot." Kaito admonished. "We can't wake him to feed him. But if he does it again, I get to hold him."

"I'm worried about leaving you with these two idiots." Ryo sighed.

"Hey, we're not idiots," Soubi complained.

He stepped back from the baby cot and went to sit on Ryo's lap.

"What time is it?" Soubi asked.

"We have four more hours," Sakura said.

Soubi nodded and clung to Ryo. He was alternating between standing by the baby's cot and sitting on Ryo's lap like a lost puppy. Sakura met Ryo's worried gaze when Soubi buried his face into Ryo's shoulder.

"What will you do when you get there, Ryo?" Kaito asked, still watching the baby.

"Well, first I will obviously get unpacked." Ryo rubbed Soubi's back. "I'll call you guys."

"Can we not talk about this anymore?" Soubi asked in a small voice.

Sakura sighed and stood up. She walked over to the baby's cot and tapped Kaito's shoulder. He glanced up at her and she waved him out of the room. They left the baby sleeping and she made sure to close the door behind them.

When Kaito gave her an inquiring glance she said, "Give them time. This is hard enough."

Kaito gave her a puzzling glance and she wondered how Ryo had become friends with such a guy. His hair alone...he looked like an eight year old had been making little knots in it. The fact that it suited him was even more disturbing. He grinned at her and she blushed.

"Do you eat cake?" she asked, starting for the stairs. "They might be a while in there."

"I eat anything that tastes sweet," Kaito said with a wide smile following her eagerly.

***

"Will you hold on to me for the next four hours?" Ryo asked, once Sakura and Kaito left.

Soubi burrowed deeper into his arms and said, "If I have to."

"Please don't be like this," Ryo said. "It makes it harder for me, Soubi."

"I don't want to sleep in our bed alone," Soubi managed a soft whisper.

"I'll call you every night. We can talk until you fall asleep." Ryo promised.

"You had better not look at any other guy out there. I swear it, Ryo, I'll come after you."

Ryo chuckled at the angry warning.

"I promise to walk with my eyes closed."

"If we survive this, you owe me a..." Soubi paused searching for an appropriate reward. "By the time you return here, I'll have figured out what I want."

Ryo wrapped his arms around Soubi and held on tight. There was no need for words. He glanced at his watch. His flight to New York was in three hours and forty-five minutes. He closed his eyes memorizing the feel of Soubi in his arms

***

Nineteen

Four Years later

"How does it look?" Soubi asked, eyes closed refusing to look into the mirror.

His fingers wrapped tightly on the armrest of his swiveling chair. He'd been sure if he watched the hairdresser chop his hair down he'd have ran out of the salon, again.

"Open your eyes," Sakura insisted to his left. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"Oh my gods, it's horrible, isn't it? I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have let Sasha talk me into this."

Sakura laughed, her laughter quickly joined by a cute young one.

"Toshi, look at your uncle. He's so afraid to look in the mirror."

"You two stop making fun of me." Soubi decided to take the plunge.

He could handle this change too. He blinked at the light and stared at his hairdresser, Tomo. She grinned at him and wiggled her fingers dramatically.

"Prepare to be dazzled," Tomo said and swung his chair around to the mirror.

Soubi almost didn't recognize the young man staring back at him in the mirror. All his hair was gone, replaced by his face, he thought with a small smile. Tomo had cut and coaxed his hair into rich mid-length razor layers, short at the back, thick and full at the top that turned into side swept bangs. The style was edgy, definitely pushing the conservative boundaries. She'd also changed the color into a healthy golden brown.

Soubi shook his head and was happy to see the bangs didn't get into his eyes.

"You have a very striking, beautiful face," Tomo complimented him. "It made it so easy to style your hair this way. I know you wanted to try a conservative cut but you're Soubi Tanaka. It wouldn't suit you." She ran her fingers through the top of it and smiled. "This is an Asian faux hawk that can be worn kind of conservatively if you wish it. What do you think?"

He laughed lightly. "I love it."

"Great," Tomo smiled in relief. "I was worried for a moment."

Sakura clapped and Soubi glanced at her with a raised brow.

"We're going to need a set of bodyguards from now on."

"Why?"

"So they can keep you safe from the mob of women and men who're going to be chasing you down."

"Do you think this is a Kdrama?" Soubi asked, as Tomo removed the wrap around his neck.

He jumped off the chair and bent down to pick up Toshi who was watching him with wide brown eyes.

"Your mother needs a life, little Toshi."

Toshi tugged at his bangs.

"She cut your hair with scissors."

Soubi laughed and nodded.

"Yes she did, it's all gone. No more hair for you to stick in your mouth kiddo." Soubi turned to Sakura. "Thanks for coming with me. I walked out last week without getting it cut."

"I heard you ran out in fear." Sakura teased, adjusting her handbag on her shoulder. "You look handsome, Soubi-chan."

Soubi held Toshi closer as they thanked Tomo and left the hair salon. The stress of getting his haircut disappeared as they went out into the warm Shimokitazawa afternoon. He bounced Toshi in his arms as Sakura walked beside him.

"When are you doing the shots for ' _Samurai Spirit'_?" Sakura asked.

Soubi smiled thinking about his recent work. _Samurai Spirit_ was the third book in a series of four called _Feudal Lords_. He was currently working on the fourth book while his publisher promoted _Samurai Spirit_. Sasha and Kaito had come up with an ingenious clothing brand based on the characters in the books. He was supposed to help them with the photo shoot for the posters.

"Tomorrow," Soubi said. "Afterwards, I have a meeting with my editor."

"You should come over for dinner. I don't think you're taking care of yourself alone in that house."

"It's the best place to write." Soubi defended his choice to remain in Ryo's penthouse.

Sakura had moved in with Kaito two years ago. He hadn't seen that one coming, but in the end, it turned out to be a good match.

"You and Kaito should be glad you don't get to deal with the mess I can make sometimes."

"I'd be happy to deal with your mess, if it meant having you in our house." Sakura insisted as they crossed the street headed toward the Furiroda shop. "Kaito misses your cooking sometimes."

"You should flog him for saying that," Soubi advised, bouncing Toshiro in his arms. "You two are practically husband and wife; the only cooking he should miss is yours."

Sakura laughed.

"We are husband and wife, but you're his best friend. He worries about you."

"There's no need to worry, Sakura-chan." Soubi promised as they came up to the shop.

Furiroda had grown, he decided as they walked into the busy main shop. Kaito now employed a full staff to run the store including a store manager. Sakura led the way to the back where Kaito was waiting for them.

Toshiro squirmed and Soubi let him down. Soubi smiled as Toshiro rushed Kaito who was sitting at the worktable busy drawing.

"Look whose come to visit!" Kaito exclaimed when Toshiro reached him. "Did you miss me, little Toshi?"

"Yes, Daddy," Toshi replied happily.

Soubi smiled when Toshi called Kaito 'daddy'. He was glad Kaito and Sakura were together. They both deserved their happiness.

"Oh my goodness," Kaito exclaimed and Soubi frowned looking behind him for the reason. "Soubi-chan, you chopped it all off!"

Soubi turned to Kaito in a panic realizing the exclamations were for him.

"Is it that horrible?"

"No! Surprising," Kaito said, his eyes wide. "I almost didn't recognize you. I thought you were another guy Sakura picked up from out there. I was going to start beating you up—

Sakura punched Kaito's arm making Soubi laugh.

"You look awesome, Soubi."

Soubi felt relief flood him. Yes, he was full of vanity and proud of it. He'd have died if Kaito hated his new cut. He went to sit on the old green couch that never changed.

"I guess that's what I was going for. I figured if I was having my hair cut, it best be dramatic."

"You're full of drama, Soubi-chan," Sakura accused affectionately.

"Ryo's gonna cream in shock," Kaito said still staring at him.

"That's if he ever shows up," Soubi replied sulkily. He'd talked to Ryo two weeks ago. _Two weeks!_

"What do you mean?" Kaito asked, putting Toshiro down. "Hasn't he called you?"

Soubi made an impatient sound.

"He's in the middle of yet another big project. His time is limited, blah, blah, blah."

Kaito sighed. "Go see him in New York."

"Have you met my literary agent, or my publisher?" Soubi asked. "I have a packed up schedule and I'm still working on the fourth book. Ryo can also get on a plane and visit me."

Kaito raised his hands up in surrender. "Let's drop the subject."

Soubi hated feeling like a bastard. He was being rude with Kaito and he knew it. It wasn't Kaito's fault that he was feeling neglected. Soubi stood abruptly.

"I gotta go."

"Soubi," Kaito said, rushing to stop him. "We don't hang out as much anymore. Maybe you can make me some ramen?"

"Sakura can make you the ramen." Soubi forced a smile and waved at Toshiro. "I need to get going. Sakura, please take care of them."

"You're running away," Kaito said dropping his hand from Soubi's arm.

"Let me, Kai," Soubi begged softly. "I'll see you tomorrow at the shoot."

Soubi hurried out of Furiroda and started a brisk walk headed for the train station. Visiting Shimokitazawa was getting painful. Kaito and Sakura's happiness was hard to face.

Soubi wondered how he could be jealous of those two.

****

On the train ride to Ginza, Soubi's thoughts filled with Ryo and their four-year separation. He cried himself to sleep every night that first year, the loneliness in that bed...Soubi shuddered. He woke up having nightmares of being alone forever.

He coped by filling his days with work, and classes, taking a bigger course load than needed each semester. Kaito and Sakura had thought he was losing his mind. Eight months into the separation and Soubi turned into a workaholic who barely slept. He spent more time in the library than he cared to admit, and kept up a grueling work schedule with Sasha Inc.

Exhaustion hit him one afternoon while he was doing a photo shoot. Sasha rushed him to the hospital when he dropped on the ground like a log. The good doctors diagnosed him with fatigue. They ordered Soubi to sleep and take it easy for a month.

Easier said than done, Soubi scoffed remembering the days and nights of trailing around the penthouse trying to escape sleep. Ryo emailed him everyday and called on Skype, but Soubi forced Sakura to promise not to tell Ryo about his exhaustion. They all struggled along to the next year with Sasha and Kaito forcing him to regulate his schedule.

Soubi visited Ryo in New York at the start of the second year. He came back to Tokyo on the verge of breaking when Ryo managed to spend only one day with him in the space of a week.

Four years had felt like a lifetime those days.

Ryo's busy schedule and work demands made it impossible to visit him for an extended period.

That second year forced Soubi to focus on what he wanted too. Soubi figured since Ryo was busy working hard to gain his father's trust, he too should make an effort. With Sakura's help, Soubi called Sei and made her keep the promise to introduce him to his literary agent, Mika Shinji. Soubi spent that second year working with Mika learning the publishing industry.

His third year in college produced the first book of Feudal Lords.

Soubi kept up a full coarse load each semester and with the promise of early graduation, Mika got him an editor. He gratefully immersed all his thoughts in the project. With his time caught up in his writing, Soubi had very little time to think about not seeing Ryo. Sakura and Kaito started dating much to Sei's shock and disapproval. That drama kept her attention away from Ryo and him for a while. When Sakura put her foot down and actually moved to Shimokitazawa, Sei was forced to accept the relationship.

Soubi figured Sei had agreed in order to keep seeing Toshiro.

During the summer that third year, Soubi went to visit Ryo again.

He blushed as he thought about the blissful two weeks they spent in Ryo's apartment. They hadn't left Ryo's apartment, choosing to spend it making love, lazing around in bed and just being with each other. It had been harder to leave New York that time, but Soubi cherished those memories more than anything else.

Soubi was faced with his first publicity crisis when his book was published that fall. Due to his modeling with Sasha inc., he'd never needed to hide his sexuality or the fact that he was proud to be gay. He figured there was no need to hide it as a published author. Kaito, Sasha, Sakura and his friends in Uni had supported his decision, and that had meant more than he could say.

With their support, Soubi went ahead and gave an interview with Editor's Choice. He closed his eyes as he remembered the evening Sei descended on him at the penthouse after the article was published.

"How could you do this?" Sei demanded shaking the newspaper at him. "You've just made it impossible for you and Ryo to be together."

"Why?" Soubi asked, hating her demeaning attitude. He hated how she chose various battles as long as they suited her own agenda. "It's my life. I won't lie about who I am. What right do you have to tell me what I should or shouldn't do?"

"As long as you're living in this penthouse, you're part of the Asada family." Sei declared with a flourish, throwing the magazine on the coffee table. "Ryosuke's not ready for this, you know that."

"Ryo is in New York, where you sent him because the stupid board members of your awful group wouldn't understand us. Isn't that the pitch you gave me?" Soubi stood up clutching his laptop. "I don't stay here for you or the darned Asada Group. I stay here because of Ryo."

"If you loved him, you wouldn't flaunt your orientation on every magazine that wants to print your sorry story." Sei sneered at him. "I should have known you'd end up—

"Stop right there," Soubi roared tired of her. "Your turn to listen to me. I don't give a fuck what you or your Asada Group thinks anymore. I've spent the past three years in hell, I've learned a few things since you, and I fought about whom I love. My love for Ryo is separate from my chosen careers. If he has a problem with my interviews and who I tell I'm gay, he'll get on the phone and call or bloody get on an airplane. Since I haven't had any complaints from him, I figure he's alright with my current choices. Sei- _san_ , your son, Ryosuke, is gay and happy to be so. Don't you think it's time you accepted that?"

"How dare you?"

"I dare," Soubi retaliated. "I dare very much because you managed to convince the man I love to leave me for four years. You have no idea what it's been like sleeping in that bed upstairs alone. Waking up reaching for him and he's not there, you have no idea! When he comes back, I'm sticking to him like moss on a stone. You're going to have to cut me off with a knife to get us separated. I'm giving you fair warning. Ryo steps back on Tokyo soil, and its open season. You're not taking him away again."

"Is that a threat?" Sei gaped at him. "After all I've done for you, introducing you to Mika—

"Thanks for that," Soubi said with a small smile. "Knowing Mika has certainly helped launch my career, no doubt about that, but I wrote the book. And yes, it was a threat. Ryosuke Asada belongs to me now."

Sei had glared at him and stalked right out leaving him shaking in the living room. After that little showdown, Soubi expected a publicity war with her, but she'd oddly gone silent.

Ryo had fallen off his chair laughing when Soubi told him about their little argument.

At graduation, Soubi had almost fallen off the podium when he walked up to receive his degree and spotted Sei Asada seated beside Grandma, Sakura and Kaito. They forged a truce after that day and were now strange friends.

Now, the fourth year was ending.

Soubi stared at his hands. Three books later, he was a successful author, and a reluctant super model. He had a family that loved him. He visited Grandma every Sunday, and tried to visit Kaito, Sakura and Toshiro when he could. Sasha practically ran his social life, if it weren't for Sasha, he would live holed up in the penthouse until Ryo decided to appear. Despite all that support, his heart still ached...steeped in loneliness.

No wonder he was so jealous of Kaito and Sakura, Soubi thought.

What he wouldn't give for a month with Ryo in his arms.

Soubi got off the train in Ginza with a quick glance at his watch. It was already four o'clock and he was late for his appointment with Editor's Choice journalist Saki. He arrived at the hotel she had chosen five minutes late, and found her settled at a private table sipping coffee. When she saw him, she stood up and gave him a short bow.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting," he said in apology.

Saki urged him to sit.

"No, _Sensei_. I took the liberty of ordering coffee for you."

Soubi thanked her and settled into his seat. They spent a few minutes exchanging pleasantries before she finally got around to starting the interview.

"My readers have sent many letters asking for an interview with you," Saki explained. "I know you've promoted your books and answered many questions about the _Feudal Lords_ series. I was hoping to approach this interview from a more personal level. Would you allow me to intrude with a few questions?"

"Only if you accept that I'll not answer all of them," Soubi countered with a small smile.

Saki nodded and continued.

"Alright, first question. What is the most significant moment in your life?"

Soubi stared at her for a moment, then he smiled wide.

"A simple night when a certain dark angel found me in a club tossed me over his shoulders and carried me outside. I wasn't very happy then, but now that I think about it, it was the best thing that ever happened to me."

***

_Two days and five hours left to go_ , Ryo thought staring out the living room windows in his New York apartment.

The weather was still cold, despite the fact that spring was knocking on the door. He glanced at his watch and smiled when he saw it was time. He turned away from the windows and went to the couch, turning on the television.

"... _Feudal Lords_ author Soubi Tanaka has launched a third book in the series. We caught up with Tanaka- _sensei_ in Osaka for a short chat about his new book _Samurai Spirit_."

Soubi smiled at the show host and Ryo felt his heart clench when he noted the change. Soubi had cut his hair. He looked real good too, Ryo sighed, mourning the long dark locks he'd come to love.

His Soubi had gone and grown up on him.

Soubi had filled out in his absence, his hair even though in a faux Mohawk made him look more mature. Soubi was celebrating his twenty-fifth birthday this year. Hard to imagine this Soubi was the same one he'd practically dragged out of a club some five years ago.

"The _Samurai Spirit_ craze is taking over the nation," the host praised Soubi. "The other day I walked into an anime store and all I saw were posters of Samurai Spirit. What have you done to the people, _Sensei_?"

Soubi laughed. Ryo couldn't help his smile. He'd always loved Soubi's laugh.

"I'm humbled by the love from my readers. Many thanks for buying the books and keeping my characters alive. I see you're wearing a _Samurai Spirit_ t-shirt too."

The show host touched the black t-shirt he wore so that everyone could see the silhouette of a man with long hair, in wide kimono trousers holding a sword over his shoulder, his chest bare.

"Yes, I walked into the anime store and came out with one of these. I couldn't resist the magic."

"It looks good on you," Soubi complimented and earned applause from the live audience. "I hope you read the book."

"Of course," the show host pulled out a copy of _Samurai Spirit_ from his desk and held it up. "I even brought it with me so that you could sign it."

Soubi clapped for the host and was joined by the live audience. He pulled out a pen from his jacket pocket and signed the copy. The cameraman focused on Soubi's elegant signature.

"Now that I have my signed copy you can too," the show host told the audience. "Before the show, we got Tanaka- _Sensei_ to sign copies of his book. Of course, our audience here gets a copy each, but for you at home, you get a chance to win a copy. Three lucky viewers will get a copy of _Samurai Spirit. A_ ll you have to do is tell us the names of the first two books in the _Feudal Lords_ Series."

"He's done very well," Katsuro Asada said behind Ryo and Ryo stood in surprise.

Ryo muted the television and turned to greet his father.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear the doorbell."

"That's alright." Katsuro waved his apology away and came around to take a sit on the couch.

Ryo sat beside his father fighting his need to keep watching a smiling Soubi on the screen.

"I've read the first two books. Do you think I'd win if I tried to send in an answer?"

Ryo turned and gaped at his father.

"You've read Soubi's books?"

"He's a good author, why wouldn't I?" Katsuro answered with a small chuckle. "I do read for entertainment, Ryosuke. You must be looking forward to going home."

Ryo nodded. "I miss Tokyo."

Katsuro cleared his throat and shifted to face Ryo.

"I'm sorry for what happened with the board four years ago. The situation was beyond my control, I hope you understand that much, Ryosuke."

Ryo glanced at his father and nodded.

"Tohaku's death was hard on all of us. I just didn't realize that it would cause so much trouble for the family even in business," Ryo said.

"Ryosuke, I have something to say before you return to Tokyo." Katsuro sighed. "My parents knew who I was going to marry even before I was born, and knowing that made me slightly rebellious when I was growing up. When your mother and I met, I'm afraid I wasn't very honest with my feelings as she was with hers. I viewed her as a burden set on my shoulders to carry the Asada name forward. I allowed her to live thinking I would love her as she did me, but then I met my current wife and things changed."

"Father, I don't have to hear this."

Ryo shook his head not wanting to make any more judgments. He'd worked hard in the past four years to create a relationship he respected with his father.

"Yes you do, especially because of your responsibilities as they are now." Katsuro gave him a small smile and continued. "I was greedy. I wanted to hold on to my children, as well as a love that would hurt your mother. As a result, the environment in the estate got difficult. Heading a clan is not easy, Ryosuke. So many different people with ideas you can't always control. Your mother suffered embarrassment after embarrassment living as the shunned wife and I did nothing to help her or protect her. Still I held her down, because I was afraid if she left, she'd take you and Tohaku and never return."

Ryo closed his eyes at the thought of what his father's treatment of his mother had created.

"Tohaku grew angry with me," Katsuro said quietly. "He wanted me to compensate for your mother's pain. He hated her bitterness and blamed me for it. I fear I dragged him into the abyss. His obligations to the family and the business suffered and I'm to blame for that."

"Tohaku made his choices," Ryo said. "I too saw my mother's pain. I chose to live a different life."

Katsuro kept his silence for a moment.

"When you took over after your brother, I was afraid of what would happen if you broke under the pressure. Your mother's constant lobbying and the pressure from the board, the only logical choice was to bring you here."

Ryo stared at the screen where Soubi was talking again, and he felt his heart clench in pain. He missed Soubi so much at times it felt like he might suffocate from being so lonely.

"It's done now."

"Thank you for what you've done to sort out your mother." Katsuro reached out and took Ryo's hand, squeezing it gently. "You managed to do what I couldn't."

"Remember, I did it with the understanding that Toshiro Asada gets to live his life however he wishes until he's ready to take over from me." Ryo glanced at his father. "The family obligations shouldn't be such a burden."

Katsuro nodded in agreement. He turned his attention to the ending show on the screen.

"What about Soubi Tanaka? Will he take you back?"

Ryo sighed and squeezed his father's hand before he reached for the remote.

"I'm not going to give him a choice. I can't go another week without him."

Katsuro laughed and stood.

"Very well, have a safe trip to Tokyo. When you two are settled, bring him to see me in Minakami. We can go fishing."

"I'll be sure to tell him," Ryo said.

When his father left, Ryo got up from the couch and headed for a desk by the wall. He stared at the ticket on his desk with a frown. He couldn't wait another two days, he decided wanting to see Soubi's smile, hear him laugh. Pulling out his cell phone, he rang up his secretary.

"Diana, get me on a flight to Tokyo today. I don't care what class; just get me on a plane in the next few hours."

***

Twenty

The blinking cursor on the screen was his enemy. It was almost eleven o'clock at night and he'd managed a meager one thousand words, Soubi grimaced and abandoned his laptop. Leaving it on the coffee table, he went to the kitchen.

Soubi browsed the fridge and pulled out a package of rice balls he'd left there two days ago after the interview with Saki. When he opened the package, he gagged at the putrid action. He might have bought them earlier.

Soubi aimed the package at the garbage bin. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually cooked. Reaching for a few more packages, he discovered moldy pasta, and a fruit salad that had definitely decayed.

A cleaning marathon ensued and before he knew it, the entire fridge was empty. The contents filled two garbage bags on the kitchen floor. He still hadn't found anything to eat. Closing the door to the empty refrigerator, Soubi reached for his cell phone and dialed for noodle delivery. He was promised the delivery guy would make it in ten minutes. He used the time to take the garbage to the compactor chute.

When the food arrived, he got a bottle of wine from the pantry turned on the television and decided on a binge session. He dug into his food with gusto, having not eaten anything all day. He was stuffing his face with noodles when Ryo's face filled the screen.

For a moment, Soubi thought he might be going crazy, imagining things. But then Ryo smiled at the reporters meeting him in a hotel lobby and he choked on his food.

Soubi turned up the volume and sat watching Ryo walk through the lobby flanked by a sea of men in suits.

' _Asada Group's Ryosuke Asada is set to return to Tokyo next week. He has worked out of the New York Asada offices for the past four years. Asada's Chairman called it a period of learning and growth, in preparation of Vice-chairman Asada taking his position later this year. Mr. Ryosuke Asada has made great changes within the group, taking positive strides to improve Asada Group's CSR ratings while taking the company forward. His return to Tokyo is highly anticipated._

Soubi's phone buzzed on the table and he reached for it without glancing at the caller ID.

"Soubi," Ryo's voice came through when he answered the call.

"You're coming back next week."

"I'm on the way back," Ryo replied. "Will you pick me up from the airport?"

"What time?" he asked quietly.

Ryo gave him the flight details, and he scribbled them on a napkin. They talked for a few minutes before he hang up and stood staring around the large living room.

Soubi dropped his phone on the couch and let out a small sigh. He'd spent the past four years equally hating and loving this house. On days he missed Ryo, he'd truly appreciated climbing into their bed and imagining Ryo beside him. There were days when he'd hated being here, when the loneliness took over. Those nights had given him _Feudal Lords_ , Soubi decided in that moment.

Ryo was going to be landing tomorrow afternoon.

Soubi shook his head in disbelief and started jumping up and down in excitement like an idiot.

Ryo was coming home!

***

The next morning Soubi couldn't stop smiling. Through the shoot, the photographer threatened to tape his mouth shut if he didn't stop ruining his shots.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Sasha demanded when they finished.

Soubi gave his watch a glance and quickly pulled on his black shirt.

"How does my hair look? Is it okay?"

"You're acting like you're going out on a date." Sasha complained brushing fingers through Soubi's hair quickly. "Your hair is fine, Tomo did a good job. Are you going to tell me what's so exciting? I haven't seen you this way since your books hit the shelves."

Soubi zipped up his pants. Satisfied with his look, he turned and smiled at Sasha. He pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you, Sasha. Without you, I don't think I'd have made it these past four years."

"What's happening?" Sasha asked with a worried frown.

Soubi kissed his jaw and hurried out of the studio.

"I'll call you when I'm free."

Soubi drove to the airport a bundle of nerves. It took what seemed like hours to figure out the difference between short-term parking and long term. Why they had to make it all complicated he had no idea. By the time Soubi got to arrivals, he was panicking over Ryo's plane having already landed, and Ryo thinking Soubi hadn't come to meet him.

His worries were premature. The plane landed fifteen minutes after he got to the lobby. Soubi paced, tried to sit and when that didn't work, he wondered if he shouldn't just shake down the darned security officer at the door. Everyone else was coming out of there except Ryo.

When a fresh group arrived, Soubi stood nervously trying to look at each face. He fought tears when he finally saw Ryo.

Ryo looked so good. In a casual white t-shirt and blue jeans, his hair shorter than it used to be. Ryo was carrying a black bag, a jacket bunched in his other hand. Soubi bit his lip unable to move.

He wondered if Ryo would recognize him since he'd cut his hair. His concerns were swept away when Ryo started toward him. He couldn't resist pulling Ryo into a hard hug. Words escaped. He had none that would fit this moment.

"Hey lover," Ryo murmured into his ear, dropping his bag and holding him tight.

Soubi bit his lip harder ruthlessly controlling his tears. He was afraid of bursting into hysterics in the middle of this lobby. Pulling back, he reached blindly for Ryo's bag.

"The car is parked in long term parking. We'll have to walk quite a bit, because the signs weren't making sense." He tried to explain, relieved when Ryo followed him. "I came alone. I didn't know whether you wanted anyone else to know you were coming. So, that's why Kaito and Sakura are not with me. Although we can always call them when we get home," Soubi continued as he led the way briskly toward the parking lot.

"Soubi- _chan,"_ Ryo said quietly.

Soubi shook his head not ready yet. He could feel the storm of emotion inside him, and it was best released in private. They got to the black car, he unlocked it and opened the back passenger door to put Ryo's bag. Sliding into the driver's side, he tried twice to stick the key into the stupid key hole. When the keys finally fell at his feet, Ryo reached out and took his hand in his.

"Soubi—

The floodgates opened and he sobbed. He dropped his head into his hands unable to stop the tears. All the time apart, all the pain of being away from Ryo, facing college alone, trips to New York that had ended too soon. Being alone in their bed, Soubi shuddered. Eating dinner alone, fighting with Sei, and missing Ryo endlessly.

Ryo touched his shoulder gently.

"Why are you crying?" Ryo asked.

"I'm sorry, it's just—," Soubi couldn't stop the tears. His body trembled with the force of his sobs.

Concerned, Ryo pushed up the console between them and pulled him into his arms. He closed his eyes and clung to Ryo. He held Ryo tight, breathing in his scent, that elusive scent that had disappeared so quickly from their bed. He locked his arms around Ryo and cried.

"I'm not sure whether to be happy or worried," Ryo said, when the sobs subsided. "Are you okay?"

Soubi chuckled amid soft sobs, his face buried in Ryo's neck.

"I'm just happy you're back."

"Most people laugh when they're happy, Soubi." Ryo pointed out rubbing his back gently, the motion strangely soothing. "Was it that hard?"

"You have no idea." Soubi confessed holding on a little tighter.

"Do you want me to drive?" Ryo asked when Soubi calmed down.

Soubi pulled back and shook his head.

"No, I'm picking you up, not the other way round."

"Are you sure?

Soubi pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his tears managing a smile.

"I'm sure, I drive now."

"Do you," Ryo said with a small smile. "I've heard you do more than drive now, _Sensei_."

Soubi blushed, retrieving his car keys from the floor; he managed to get the key in right.

"I might have written a book or two."

"A phenomena, is what I'm hearing," Ryo teased as he started the car. "I might have to schedule time with you in advance."

Soubi drove out of the parking lot and started the drive back to Ginza.

"It feels surreal at times. Like it's a dream and I'm losing my mind."

Ryo reached out and caressed his jaw.

"You did well," Ryo said with pride. "I'm proud of you."

Soubi nodded and concentrated on driving. Ryo touched his hair, running gentle fingers through the short strands. He waited for a comment, but none came. So he concentrated on driving. He drove into the underground parking lot of their building in silence. He parked close to the elevator and helped Ryo with his bag again.

Soubi frowned as they entered the elevator.

"I was in such a hurry to get you to the car, I didn't ask. Did you have any other luggage?"

"I shipped the rest of my stuff yesterday. The boxes will be arriving tomorrow."

Soubi dropped Ryo's bag on the living room floor.

"Well, have a seat, welcome home. I'll get you some coffee—

"Soubi, can we just sit for a moment?" Ryo asked.

"Are you sure you don't need something—?"

Ryo pulled him to the couch and made him sit.

"The only thing I need right now is to see your face. So, sit for a second, let's talk."

***

"You've never asked why I left," Ryo said quietly holding on to Soubi's hand.

He toyed with Soubi's small finger, smiling at the short round curves of Soubi's nails. He'd missed touching Soubi.

Tangling their fingers, he shifted on the couch, folding his left leg under him so that he could face Soubi. Soubi had grown into his handsome features these past four years, there was nothing like looking at him face to face. Soubi's short golden brown hair suited him. Ryo suddenly realized that Soubi was no longer searching for his identity, he'd found it, and it was beautiful. Those dark eyes, still red from his bout of tears in the airport watched him keenly.

"Four years ago, I could have taken you with me." Ryo plunged in headfirst eager to find out where they both stood. He'd love nothing more than to pull Soubi into his arms and make love to him, but there were things they needed to clear up. "I didn't ask you and you never insisted. Why, Soubi?"

"Because it was something you needed to do alone." Soubi shifted, sitting to face him. "I was angry you didn't ask for a while but Sasha sat me down a month after you left and explained."

Ryo's jaw hardened at the thought of that man. He wasn't proud of the nightmares that had plagued his sleep through the years. Sasha and Soubi in bed together, he squelched the image before it could take shape.

"You two are just friends, right?"

"Why do you always suspect Sasha?" Soubi asked with a small shake of his head. "Though, I'm strangely glad to see the jealousy is still there."

"What did that punk tell you?"

Soubi chuckled.

"Your family and his are similar. I grew up in such a radical way, that my concept of family and honor is sort of skewed, different from yours."

"Meaning what?" Ryo frowned.

"Despite your mini rebellion by moving to Shimokita, you were still an Asada and family honor came first." Soubi lowered his head and stared at their tangled fingers. "Tohaku's death was a disgrace to your family. Your mother and father were losing face with their business associates. I suppose you were the sacrificial lamb. _We_ were the sacrifice. So that the idea that you were working hard to take over the family business would make everyone trust Asada again."

Ryo paused unsure how to deal with this new insightful Soubi.

"My relationship with you—

"I know there was no room for a drastic situation like us those days, Ryo." Soubi raised his head to meet his gaze. "I'm hoping we're done hiding in the closet for the whole lot of them."

"I'm glad to see _your_ temper is still lurking below the surface." Ryo smiled and squeezed Soubi's fingers. "We're done hiding, Soubi."

"Good." Soubi beamed.

Ryo laughed and moved closer.

"Are you going to kiss me soon? I've been waiting since the airport."

Soubi shrugged. "I was waiting for you to kiss me."

"Well, if that's the case." Ryo captured Soubi's lips in a hungry kiss. A wild blaze roared through him, his hands reached for Soubi's hips pulling him closer until Soubi was practically in his lap. Reaching up to sink his fingers into the short luxurious hair, he savored the single taste of spring he'd missed so very much. When they broke apart, Soubi was wrapped around him, panting slightly.

"Are we done talking yet?" Soubi asked, his voice painfully needy.

"No." Ryo wished he could brush things away. "One more thing."

"What thing is this?" Soubi purred into his ear. It didn't help that the soft voice was accompanied by a small thrilling bite. His control slipped slightly.

"I've lived like a darned monk." Ryo told Soubi with a sigh. "Having you on my lap is going to end this conversation very fast."

Soubi smiled wickedly and rolled his hips against him.

"If that's what it takes—

Ryo bit back a groan and forcibly moved Soubi to the couch.

"Stay." He ordered when Soubi whined. "I mean it."

"Finish this conversation already."

"When I was at the estate, after Tohaku's funeral, I found out what my mother was up to with the Asada Group." Ryo explained quietly. "She wanted to break the companies she runs from the main Group and had already started lobbying with the board. We'd just lost Tohaku; the Group was going through a hard time. If she'd kept lobbying, we'd have all crashed and lost everything. So, I promised her something bigger than the fortune she'd get from owning those companies."

Soubi gasped staring at him.

"What have you done?"

"I obviously couldn't build something here with all the trouble we were facing. I knew if I walked away, she'd come after us. Father would have easily named Toshiro his heir. But mother wouldn't have waited for Toshiro to grow up."

"Are you leaving again?" Soubi asked his tone pained. "You just returned."

"I'm not leaving." Ryo promised gently. "I had a long talk with father, and we reorganized a few things. I have one more meeting with my father's lawyers and then we'll make the formal announcements. With my mother happy, we won't ever have to worry she'll come around with agendas."

Soubi frowned. "Is that why she was so eager to send you away?"

"Yes." Ryo shrugged. "But that's about to change. I want to do business differently. A divided board is not the way, and with my mother owning a third of Asada Group shares, things were getting exhausting." Ryo took Soubi's hand and squeezed gently. "I'm home with you for good. If I ever leave for any reason, I'm going to take you with me."

Soubi grinned and moved closer.

"What if I leave?"

"Where are you going?" Ryo demanded glaring at Soubi. "Didn't you boast to my mother you were going to stick to me like moss?"

Soubi laughed and moved even closer so that they were now looking into each other's eyes.

"I did say something like that, didn't I?"

"I think a demonstration is in order," Ryo said with a husky tone.

Soubi smiled and slipped his arms around Ryo's shoulders.

"A demonstration," Soubi kissed him lingering over his lips. "Have you ever seen moss?"

"Yes, and that stuff is pretty stuck on rocks." Ryo shifted so that he could lie back on the couch. With Soubi's arms around his shoulders, he slipped his hands along Soubi's back, down to his ass. Soubi moaned and captured his lips in a deep kiss. They made love fast and needy at first, then slow and lingering. Soubi's fingers dug into Ryo's back when he came a third time, savoring the feel of Ryo deep inside him. Pressing a kiss on Ryo's shoulder, he moaned when Ryo surged into him locking them into one.

***

A kiss on his forehead woke Soubi the next morning. Blinking sleep away, he reached out beside him expecting to find Ryo. He sat up abruptly and found Ryo seated on the side of the bed smiling.

"Morning," Ryo said, when Soubi settled back in the pillows.

"Oh thank God, I thought I dreamt you were here." Soubi pushed hair out of his face and sighed. "Why are you up so early?"

"Sit up," Ryo said reaching for a tray from the bedside table. "I made you breakfast."

Soubi laughed as he sat up, pushing pillows behind his back, he got comfortable.

"This is definitely new. I like it, Ryo Asada."

"Well, I figure you've done it for me more than once. My turn to pamper you," Ryo said carefully arranging the breakfast tray over Soubi's lap. Soubi stared at the coffee, burnt toast, and fried eggs. A smile broke on his face, Ryo's cooking skills were still basic, but the fact that he'd tried—

"Do you like it?" Ryo asked.

Soubi beckoned him closer with a finger. When Ryo was close enough, he kissed him sweetly savoring the taste of mint toothpaste. He sat back.

"I love it."

"The toast is burnt."

"I still love it." Soubi declared. He picked the toast and bit into it, smiling when it crunched. Toast had never tasted so good.

Their day was spent lazing around in their bed. They migrated to the living room where Soubi settled on top of Ryo on the couch. They watched movies and ignored all calls.

Soubi was dozing through the afternoon when the sound on the keypad on the door reached them.

"Who has the pass code?" Ryo asked lazily.

"Kaito, Sakura," Soubi said not concerned.

He figured there was no harm having those two around.

Ryo relaxed but not for long.

"Soubi," Sei Asada said breaking their peace.

"You gave my mother the pass code?" Ryo groaned.

"She's been here a lot," Soubi sighed standing up when Sei walked into the living room.

"You're not answering your phone," Sei said as she came in to the living room.

"Hi, _Okaasan,_ " Soubi greeted Sei with a yawn. "I'm sorry about not answering your calls."

"I figured a momentous occasion had to have happened. I should have guessed my son was back. Hello, Ryosuke."

Sei placed her bag on the coffee table. Ryo stood up and gave her a short bow, but she surprised him when she stepped close and hugged him.

"I've missed you," she said holding him tight.

"You're scaring him," Soubi said, sitting back on the couch. He bit back another yawn and tried to stretch out. "What brings you here?"

Sei let go of Ryo and sat down in an armchair.

"I found out the most interesting thing this morning."

"What?" Soubi asked, watching Ryo settle down beside him with a frown.

"It appears someone has updated the family registry." Sei held her son's gaze, her brow raised. "Why nobody told me about it, I have no idea, but that's to be expected for a divorced wife. I'm not considered a true Asada."

"Mother," Ryo started his tone apologetic.

"The elders approved your succession," she said quietly. "I'm happy."

Ryo dropped his gaze to the carpet. "I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark."

"You're thirty years old, Ryosuke. You have no obligation to tell me what you do or don't do. You're the head of the family now." Sei declared with a small smile. "I'm proud of the man you've become."

Soubi stared at both of them and gave an exasperated sigh.

"Do you two always have to be so formal with each other?"

"This is a serious conversation." Sei pointed out glaring at him. "Ryo knows to respect his elders."

"He's just afraid you'll start losing your mind." Soubi shot back with a matching glare. "I've seen you holding Toshiro, _Okaasan_. We both know that scary face is for show."

Ryo lifted his head to meet Sei's gaze and gaped when she pressed a hand to her mouth to hide a laugh.

"What's happening between you two?" Ryo asked in confusion.

"He's grown on me," Sei said turning her attention to the television. "When did you come back, Ryo?"

"Yesterday," Ryo said, unused to having his mother this agreeable. Soubi stood and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. "Soubi gave you the pass code for the door."

"I check on him." Sei told him casually. "After Sakura left to stay with your friend Kaito, she asked me to stop by once in a while and make sure he was eating."

Ryo bit back a gasp. "You wanted to make sure Soubi was eating."

"I promised to take care of him." Sei glanced at him with a raised brow. "You didn't think I'd keep my promise."

"I'm sorry, I just—," he broke off not sure how to take this bit of news. His mother was turning soft on him. "Thank you."

Sei chuckled as Soubi returned carrying a mug of coffee for her.

"Did you come to see me about the family registration? Or were you coming to give me grief about something else?" Soubi asked.

Sei took her coffee and studied his new haircut.

"I heard you chopped your hair off. I wanted to see it for myself."

"You like?" Soubi asked, running his fingers through the uncombed locks. "I made sure it wasn't at all conservative. Wouldn't want to bore you," Soubi said as he sat beside Ryo.

Sei sipped her coffee. "It suits you."

"Thanks. Wanna help me throw a party for Ryo coming back?"

"Sure," Sei glanced at her son. "We'll need a huge hall for the number of guests—

"I meant a small family party." Soubi interrupted not ready to face that kind of party yet.

Ryo chuckled.

"You two are freaking me out. Stop planning parties. Mother, I still have to finish some business with father. I'm not officially here until next week."

"What kind of business?" Sei asked with a frown.

Ryo glanced at Soubi for a moment before he sighed.

"I was going to wait for next week but there's no need to wait."

"Wait for what?" Sei asked.

"My promise," Ryo replied. "Soubi, in the study, would you bring that folder on the desk."

Soubi got up and hurried out of the living room. Ryo hadn't mentioned how he'd fulfilled Sei's promise. Taking the folder from the desk, Soubi fought the urge to have a short peek and hurried back to the living room. He gave the blue leather folder to Ryo and watched him pull out documents that he handed to Sei.

"What is this?" Sei asked, after she read the documents. "Who is Silla Group?"

"You," Ryo said. "You wanted to separate the real estate side of the Asada Group. I've spent the last two years, planning the restructuring of Asada Group for that purpose."

Sei gaped at him, her fingers clutching the papers in her hand.

"Father and I have separated the resorts and hotels from the Asada Group. They have become the Silla Group, where you hold the controlling shares. Meaning Silla is now independent of The Asada Group. With Silla, you've also gained two more companies acquired in the last two years one based in Macao and another in Seoul."

Sei stared at the documents in her hand and shook her head.

"Does your father have shares in Silla?"

"No," Ryo replied quietly. "I have a small percentage but only—

"That's good," Sei nodded with a smile. "I'm happy, Ryo."

Ryo handed her a title deed.

"This is for the property in Minakami. Your house and the attached resort, they are all under your name."

"What about his wife?" Sei asked quietly.

"She will remain under the Asada name protection. Her position doesn't change, mother. Now that your property has been separated from the Asada estate, you'll only meet with her if you wish it."

Ryo handed her the rest of the folder.

"Father signed all the documents. I need you to sign as well, but you have to understand. You are giving up the name Asada and all your shares in the Asada Group by doing this."

Sei reached for her purse and got a pen. She sat on the edge of the armchair and placed the documents on the coffee table.

"Mom," Ryo said, his brow rose in question.

She turned to the first document and found the spot she needed to sign.

"I've been waiting years for this."

"You wanted to give up the Asada name?" Ryo asked confused.

"If I'd left that estate before this, I'd have been Sei Nakao, the woman who got married to Katsuro Asada and was discarded away." Sei glanced at him before she signed the document with flourish. "Now, I'll be Sei Nakao, owner of Silla Group, mother to Ryosuke Asada who is the heir to the Asada Group. What more can I ask for?"

"Being just our mother should have been enough," Ryo said quietly.

Sei glanced at him for a moment.

"Ryosuke, do you remember what I told you about the kind of love you and your Soubi have?"

He frowned.

"Allow me my small victory against Katsuro and his new wife. My love turned sour, you and this gift you've given me, that's what I gained from that marriage." Sei shrugged. "I have pride, son. I'm quite human after all. Thank you for what you've done for me."

****

"Our Soubi is smiling again," Kaito said the next afternoon.

Soubi had invited them over to the penthouse for lunch to celebrate Ryo's return to Tokyo.

"You should have seen him, Ryo. I thought he was going to stop talking to me forever."

"That's not true," Soubi protested as he carried in a salad bowl and placed it on the dining table. "You make it sound like I spent all my time mopping around."

"I'm just saying that you look happier now." Kaito stood and hugged him tight. "I'm really happy that you're smiling again."

Soubi returned the hug until Ryo pulled him out of Kaito's arms.

"Stop manhandling my boyfriend."

"Still jealous as ever," Kaito said as he sat down beside Sakura. "One wonders how you survived four years away."

Ryo kissed Soubi noisily. "I kept dreaming of doing exactly that."

When his brain stopped short-circuiting, Soubi sighed and hurried out of the dining room. In the kitchen, he found Sei arranging a beautiful platter of sushi. She stepped back and glanced at him.

"What do you think?"

"I could have never guessed you loved cooking."

Soubi touched the platter, admiring Sei's handy work.

"Well, I was once a homemaker." Sei grinned at him. "Come on, hungry people to feed, take that to the dining room."

Soubi took the platter, making sure to carry it carefully. Ryo met him at the door and took the platter from him.

"Are there any more bowls to bring? Everyone is eager to start."

"One more thing and we'll be done." Soubi hurried back to the kitchen. " _Okaasan_ , it's time to eat, come on, and let's get that apron off of you."

"It's so easy for you to call me mother." Sei wiped her hands with a kitchen towel and turned to look at him. "I've been so hard on you before. Why is it you don't hold a grudge?"

Soubi stared at her thinking about the fear she'd once induced. When he'd thought he was losing Ryo, he'd somehow gotten over that fear. When Ryo had left and Sei had kept coming around to the penthouse to check on him and Sakura, he'd started liking her. She'd introduced his literary agent to him. In some ways, she'd made him the success he was when it came to his writing, but most of all, he smiled.

"You gave me Ryo."

"You love him very much, don't you?"

Soubi blushed.

"Four years apart and I still cry with happiness when I see him."

Sei chuckled and shook her head.

"What a curious child. Very well, come on, let's go eat."

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led him toward the dining room. They entered just as Grandma appeared from the living room holding Toshiro.

Soubi's heart filled with happiness as Ryo turned to look at him. In all his life, this is all he'd ever wanted. A room full of people who loved him...a family.

Kaito, Sakura, little Toshiro, Grandma, Sei, and Ryo, his heart fluttered with happiness. Sweet, handsome Ryo who'd taught him the meaning of love.

Ryo came to hug him.

"Ready?" Ryo asked.

"Thank you," Soubi said, making Ryo frown in confusion. "I told you that I'd ask for a gift if we ever made it through the four years."

"I remember you were pretty adamant about that. Why are you thanking me? I haven't given you any gift yet."

Soubi shook his head.

"Oh but you have, Ryo. You gave me a family. That's the biggest gift of all, Ryosuke Asada. I love you."

Ryo smiled and kissed him.

"I love you too, Soubi- _chan_."

"If you two are done over there, I'm starving." Kaito called.

Soubi made a face at Kaito as he and Ryo took their seats. Everyone was talking at once, smiles on their faces. Sakura served her and Kaito before she passed the bowl over to Ryo. Soubi watched Sei talk to Toshiro who sat between her and Grandma.

Ryo passed him a glass of wine. He touched it to Ryo's and took a sip contented.

Spring was here, and with it, a warm happiness he intended to hold on to for the rest of his life.

***

The End

****

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