This is Sami fomr ministry of attraction and
today I want to talk about how to effectively
achieve your New Year's resolutions and reach
your goals, no matter what they are, throughout
this year and the next and the next one after
that.
Now, news resolutions can be fun to start
but the scary statistic is that 80% failed
by February and from the remaining 20%.
No, in even reached March.
That's pretty crazy when you think about it,
why do we all have such high expectations
for starting years resolutions but such a
hard time of keeping them up.
Personally, I wanna mention that waiting for
an imaginary date like Monday or the first
of the year, is never a good way to start
today is just a go-to day as any, whether
it's January 1st, or June 11th, it's all the
same.
Now, if you're watching this, you can probably
already tell that this is going to be a longer
video, so turn up your notifications and sit
down, ready and eager to learn and if you
have a note pad, Ethan great.
If not, make sure you come back to the video
and re-watch it with a pen and paper, that's
if you really wanna make this the best year
ever, if you don't feel free to just X out
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Now, the most common Year's resolutions that
everyone wants to do the typical ones that
you hear are you quit smoking, lose weight,
start a new business quit drinking gain 10
pounds of muscle, he better meditate more
save money, go to the gym, meet their ideal
partner all these are the ones you hear bad
habits, STEM as a way of us to deal with certain
things.
We all experience a motion.
Like boredom, frustration, anger, or even
feeling overwhelmed.
Some people use shopping some people use food
some...
You sex smoking drugs, alcohol, even yelling
at their loved ones to end these feelings,
what tends to happen is that bad habits that
we don't want to have start...
We don't have gonna have by types, they can
go or our lives, but we know we shouldn't
be doing them, but we just can't stop them.
Now, why is that...
Why are these habits, so hard to kick and
you and they're so hard to form.
Why do I Year's resolutions typically fail?
Let me ask you this, have you ever walked
or driven somewhere?
And after 20 minutes, your brain almost wakes
up, and you're either at your destination,
or you're a good halfway of the path to getting
there, but you already have any idea how your
brain went on all the pilots.
You're even kind of scared as how is an unconscious
of driving for that long as it may have been
dangerous but you know what your brain knows
this trip, and it's performed it so frequently
there was no chance that you weren't going
to get to the right destination.
Well, the first time you got to this is nation,
your brain wasn't so automatic.
It's "The Road Home" or "The Road to work.
The first time, the very first time you took
it, you were 100% of were, in fact, you were
so focused that you were making a 100% sure
you didn't take the wrong turn and if you
did take the wrong turn, get to figure out
how to get back to where you were going, the
first time you did this trip your brain laid
out a neuro pathway.
Think about it as bread crumbs from the famous
children's story Hansel and Gretel but instead
of red crumbs think about it like a string
that you laid out so you could find your way
back.
Now, each time you made this trip, your mind
basically reinforced the string by adding
another piece of strength and another one
and another one to the point that five years
down the line of driving so many times, so
many strings, have in place that it's now
become an entire eight-lane highway in your
mind now that highway being used every single
day, becomes stronger and stronger and stronger.
Even if you left the city and came back two
years later your brain may have gathered some
dust on this eight-lane highway but you drove
down, it just even once even at 40% attention,
you remember it again and so.
Or you could go on autopilot, again and drive
without thinking, "Why does the brain like
taking the highway because it doesn't really
want to exert energy every single day with
things that shouldn't need to think about
if it can take short cuts for example, it
will.
So if you're being too like a classroom or
a gym and the first time you went to find
your desk or a locker your brain had to do
a bit of thinking before choosing one after
the first time, though, to avoid unnecessary
thinking, "Your brain went on auto it and...
And you found yourself walking up to the same
desk, or the same locker, the gym just automatically.
I want you to think of the habits like this,
when we perform an action once our brain has
never had a road map to this nation in the
past.
So what happens is that we end up building
a neuro Association, a pathway if you will
from point A...
So point B, point A being the habits and point
A point B being the result it gives us...
So for the first time, we perform a habit,
the pathways week, it's basically just a thread
thin, but every time we repeat this action,
for example, biting your nails or smoking
a cigarette eating fast food, drinking alcohol.
Another third is added to the pathway and
we reach the end result by dealing with worry,
or feeling better in the moment, through repetition.
This habit becomes a highway, an entire eight-lane
highway in the same way as we drive the direction
that we want on autopilot sometimes, we drive
to direction that we don't want on all of
pilots.
So even though you want to stop eating fast
food or biting your nails or our smoking your
brain has is a lane highway.
So built up, it's done so well that doesn't
know an alternative route and even if one
has been built, the threads are two weeks,
so we take the highway instead.
So how do we stop a bad habit and start a
new one?
Well, we need to know how to change the way
we think.
You can't just say it would be nice to stop
doing this and do that instead we to link
pain to the old behavior, and then an amazing
pleasure to the new one.
I've been reading our own forming habits and
some of these books, range from Tony Robbins
Awaken the Giant Within...
To mini habits by Stephen guys to psychotherapy
Maxim malts and ultimately, here's the formula
that I've derived from all of their combined
teachings accompanied by some of my own ideas.
So first off, decide what it is that you really
want and what's preventing you from having
it.
Now people are really good at talking about
what they don't wanna do, but they aren't
very good about talking about what they actually
do.
Want.
And the more you focus on the thing that you
don't want to do the stronger the brain will
keep building that neuro-pathway whatever
you focus on your energy flow.
In fact, I want you do a little quick experiment,
just to prove this to you, wherever you are,
right now, I want you to look at your left
hand and just focus on left hand for just
a few seconds, and I want you to feel your
heart beat.
In your left hand, now you need to really
focus so if you can do this right now, tried
later but for those of you who can focus on
your left hand, and just think of your heart
beating in your left hand when you have that
switch your attention to your right hand and
feel your heart beat in your right hand.
It's pretty crazy, right?
Anyone could do this.
Just focus on a part of your body and just
after a few seconds, you'll be able to feel
your heart beat in that area.
That goes to show that wherever you focus
your mind on energy, will go there.
So instead of focusing on a habit you want
to quit of course, you should acknowledge
the habits that you don't wanna do, but also
I want you be very specific on what it is
you do want, what it is that you really wanna
achieve.
The second step is to associate pain to not
changing now, an amazing pleasure to the experience
of change.
Now, now we all do things geared towards avoiding
pain and receiving pleasure.
Sometimes whoever the immediate pleasure is
more rewarding than the eventual pain, so
the joy is smoking a cigarette, for smokers
feels good enough not to concern themselves
with the pain of cancer down the line.
The event happens in rations.
IPS.
We spend time in relationships that we...
We don't really enjoy and we aren't happy
because we're scared of the unknown.
And it was a more powerful motivating force
to stay in it because, yeah, I'm not happy
now, but who knows what?
I'd feel if I broke up with them now finally
the one day enough is enough and the pain
is so bad it's more painful that the unknown,
so that we're forced to change.
Now, in one is a book he cites an example
of a woman who had had the threshold of enough
is enough.
And she said that I will do some ways.
He bought a can of dog food and made a commitment
that if she didn't owe the way He promised
herself and those around her that she would
eat this entire can of dog food, the idea
of the pain that would bring her in the form
of disgust was strong enough to make her stick
to her diet.
So she had leveraged pain to not changing,
so she needed to change.
Now, the second part of this step is to use
pleasure associating questions.
If we do change how is gonna make you feel
about yourself, what kind of things will I
be able to accomplish, how much happier will
I be?
The third step is to interrupt the limiting
pattern.
Now the first way I would recommend by doing
this is by keeping a tab on yourself.
So every time you notice you're doing this,
thing, take out your phone and add a number
one to your note pad, if you're having is
to avoid your phone.
They carry a neat and a pen, and tick off
every time you do this habit with our smoking
providing nails.
Just the act of doing this alone is enough
to make you more conscious, more aware of
how often you drive to your destination, unconsciously
catching yourself though, isn't enough in
the long run, you'll want to do something
more radical to interrupt what you just did,
so you catch yourself smoking a cigarette
back it out of your hands.
I "mediate-ly in-step on it or smack yourself
in the face to interrupt yourself or even
yell out.
I'm in edicts so loud that people turn around
and look at you like your weird...
This is like placing a road book on the highway,
so the road you're used to taking it becomes
blocked and you'll have to find an alternative
route.
The fourth one is to create a new empowering
alternative habits.
So once you've interrupted the pattern or
when the thought of doing the bad habit before
it happens, do something to replace it, build
a new pathway.
So for example, if you're hungry and craving
fast food, what you're actually saying is
I just wanna eat, you're not saying I need
fast food, so stuff yourself with a healthy
meal, sat some broccoli or anything that you
deem healthy and tasty if you hate broadly,
this is going to work for you, so find something
that is an actual working alternative.
And as soon as you're done you'll feel good
about yourself, that you made a decision to
go left instead of automatically going Right
catch yourself before it happens, now that
you're building a new pathway in your mind
that you're going on on the new path to losing
weight, in typically the feeling of hunger
and the desire of the easy, fast food roots
overtake the brain and we can really focus
on anything, else and retire selves.
Nothing will hit the spot quite like a Big
Mac.
When in fact, if we gave an alternative to
try not re-is it better for us?
We also feel better about our decision, and
that is a great neuro-pathway to create a
replacement.
Behavior is vital role.
If you're trying to do a lasting impact on
a new habit.
The fifth one is to condition the new pattern
until it is consistent.
We we're basically doing is we're trying to
close off the old Highway and build a new
road.
Now I'll start thread by thread until we can
reach the magnitude all of another 8 lane
highway or bad have it created in our brain,
but with enough repetition, will basically
get there even just sitting there and imagining
the new good habit again and again, your brain
will start putting down threats your brand
canter tell the difference between something
you vividly imagined and something you're
actually actually experiencing...
So if you've had a very SIC dream that you
could have, sworn happens, you'll know what
I'm talking about, you know, and having...
But you will come or like this must be a dream
conditioning.
This new pattern will ensure that you'll eventually
go on auto-pay it when driving down this new
road because it's being built even without
you performing the task, even by just sitting
at the office and just imagining eating a
healthy meal and how good it will make you
feel once you've...
Once you're done, and how good...
You'll feel.
So you see, see those ads in the mirror, of
course, you'll need to actually reform then
you have it but even by just doing in your
mind, in your own time, you will be slowly
building the road faster and it'll, it'll
soon become the new main pathway that your
brain will take on any given day.
Finally learn how to celebrate give yourself
a massive high five congratulate yourself,
say out loud, I'm awesome when you do a good
task and your brain will basically feel like
it's doing the right thing and it'll feel
amazing for it.
And if you hit a certain milestone, learn
how to celebrate in alternative ways.
So for example, of quitting smoking and running
Instead is your goal and you've done it for
a one month can don't reward yourself with
a nice cigarette.
The old Highway still, very much alive, and
it's built.
But I could take a decade to break down.
So, don't reward yourself with a negative
habit and said, reward yourself with a new
enjoyment of your new habits.
So a new pair of running shoes for example,
or a trip to a nice scenic route in nature
to run in the same way he was clean for a
month.
You shouldn't reward yourself with the...
And all you can eat buffet, or fast food until
you pass out, instead reward yourself with
a month pass to like a yoga studio or a healthy
cooking class ticket.
Learn how to find new enjoyment in your new
habits.
If you stick to the following steps you are
sure to have an all-senior head however it
you find yourself struggling then that's normal.
My team and I are here to help.
If you want a better road map if you want
the coaching and the accountability to take
care of your life, and move it to where you
know it can be done, they click down below,
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We do this by helping them adapt.
You attracted qualities, and habits, which
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Take care.
