*High Five* Top o' the mornin' to ya, laddies!
My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to "Destroy All Humans"
I, for some reason, I have to go off and investigate cows
That are emitting HIGH levels of radiation-
But look at this grass!
This is some high ass- high level ass grass for a PS2 game
Okay
What's up?
Mister cow?
Okay
Let's scan 'em
What's in your head?
*Cow mooing in-game*
THEY'RE ZOMBIE COWS
*In-game* "Brains?"
"Healthy green glow?"
"Those human fools!"
"Clearly they've genetically altered these pathetic gasbags
"And turned them into radioactive, exploding zombie cows!" *Giggle"
"Show them the folly of their-" *coughing* "mad science!"
Radioactive zombie cows! Of course!
What do I-what do I have to do? Do I have to kill you?
I a-imma scan you first
"It's all relative! Haha, that one kills me!"
Haha- HEY!
FUCK YOU, BRO!
What a dick!
Hanging around, being like, "Oh, I'm gonna kill you!"
When, you know what? NO!
Na- NO
Now you have no brain!
What do ya think about that one?
Yeah
Not so fuckin' funny anymore, is it?
Aehm
I know I probably have to just  kill them but I feel like-
Maybe if I hypnotise one of them?
Distraction, sleep
Sleep
Yes (Damn, that sounded sinister)
Go to sleep- That's not what I want!
I want your brain hole!
I need it- I got a big mind o' my own!
But I need yours, too
Because it- it- TASTES good
Right
I'm gonna anal probe these dudes
Just 'cause it's funny
*Cute Jackaboy gigging*
There we go!
And a-one more
There we go!
Nice! Gimme the brain!
EXPLODING ZOMBIE COWS!
RUN! *More gigglies*
That brain still better be on the ground
*Reading* Mayor calls town meeting; plans to finally explain what's going on.
"Where did he come from?"
That was quick
"Never mind that!"
"You must stop him before-" *gunshot* "-he-" Hi! "-reveals your existence!"
I have to stop hi- God dammit!
*In-game talking* Shut up, leave me alone
I'm going over this way. WEE!
Can I be a cow? No
*Tuts*
Too good to be true
Can I anal probe the cows?
*Shocked Jackaboy face*
I can!
He didn't die, though. He just keeps on going
Okay! See you later!
Have fun with a probe in your ass
You saw nothin' (We'll let you believe)
Saw noth-... I'm just like you!
Hello, fellow human!
Heh (Cute Jack is back)
Yes. Tha-that- definitely! Over here in Ireland, it's "Do I wanna go for pint with him?"
Hello, fellow human
I am an ali- I am...
A-I...
Da- ah- My name is Alan
Alan the ali- A- I mean
I LOVE... to spend time with my HUMAN family!
Like humans do
*Whisper* I think I'm safe
He's Irish!
*Giggling commences*
Okay, do I have to kill you?
Hmm- 'kay. Imma hypnotise you!
Ah-uh... Sleep- distraction!
God, no! Ah- I nee- I- nee- I bree- I need brain matter!
I nee- I need scans!
I need something from you- YEEES
ThaaAAAnk you
Nice!
*Cue the giggles*
*Inhale noise*
Okay, Imma just extract your brain
Even though that's made me quite weak!
Aww, I failed! I wasn't supposed to do that-! I
I just wanted to kill him, boss *Looks up*
*Tuts* Aww man
I can't get the brain
There we go!
Bye!
Imma collect the brain. How much is that? *Shock* That's 100 DNA!
Okay, I have to return to the mothership- My bad!
*Looking back at wall* Can't I just restart (That's not how life works, Jack XD)
No *slightly disappointed*
Oh, am I supposed to BECOME him?
OOOOOOOOH- That makes more sense
I didn't shove a probe up a cow's arse- I tried!
It didn't work!
That wasn't me, that was my brother
Hypno
I'm Crypto
*Mayor voice* Now, now, everybody, settle down
Mayor Ike here to talk
*Giggle*
*Laugh*
*Laugh* *Quoting citizen* I voted for you twice in the last election.
Pretend glowing is normal, deny alien involvement, feign ignorance, tell the truth
Pretend glowing is normal!
*Mayor Voice* Glowing is all normal for your cows
It makes them healthy and makes them eat better
*Nodding* There we go
*Laugh*
*inhale* Everybody likes me!
Everybody's good. This guy doesn't like me, though. Do you have a question? Sir?
Yes?
Blame weather balloons, blame communists- *inhale*
Blame communism!
They love that!
Damn commies.
It's always the commies.
Look out for them reds
Ramble incoherently, act patriotic
Imma act patriotic!
*Russian accent* For country! Glory greatest!
So you get- uhm- three mistakes
If you make three mistakes then you're out.
Who's with me? *Points at camera*
Who out there is with me? No one?
Oh-... no
Heh *Imitates character animation*
Tell a joke, threaten communists, discredit scientists, enslave human population
Imma threaten communists
Seems like my- my best
Train of effort
Right now
There we go!
Heh, bottle rockets
AAAAAHM
Blame it on bad luck, make empty promises, tell the truth, ignore the question, blame it on bad lu-
I wasn't there
I didn't see it, ahm
Communism, am I right *Looks behind himself*
That's not-
Aaahm
Ah... Reassure audience, insult Santa Modesta, blame cows
You can't blame cows and you can't blame other people, I'm gonna reassure the audience, it's FINE
Oh, I'm losing the crowd!
I'm losing the crowd, flatlining!
Ge- Gerald!
Get me outta here!
I need an escape hatch!
Did I do it?
*Laughs*
*Immitating accent* Events
Aw, I love it!
*More laughing*
*Laughs* How did you stay in that form for so long?
No
*More of the giggles*
*Imitating character* Santa Modesta
Hell yeah
Yeeesss
My mission is complete
I can head off
Mayor declares town saide, exploding cows under control
Declares town official
It's nothing to worry about. Summer lightning
Zombie cows, we're all good, don't even worry
Kay, Imma kill you
Boosh!
Right up your booter!
Am I- am I- am I clear of people?
Aahm
Imma hypnotise you and put you to sleep!
There we go, so now I can
Do this
Collect this brain~
Oh
No!
No one- No one's there!
Shut up, that's why!
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
I'm trying to...
Kill them all
What? Why didn't you do that?!
Drain, kill them all so I can get more DNA for myself
I need 500 DNA
Okay aaaaaaaaand
Shpoosh
There ya go
Here we go now
Hypnotising... in action
Oh God, I almost got fuckin' hit by a car
Nice
No, I don't wanna do that, I don't wanna do that. That's-
It IS gonna work!
Oh God, he's shittin' all over the place!
Naw, dude, stop!
Stop!
Eh- t- Get rid of that brain! There we go!
See?
If you wanna avoid gettin' the shits, you just gotta lose your brain
Not use your brain, LOSE your brain
Am I okay to just..?
Go about here-? Okay, maybe not.
There we go
SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH
They'll never suspect a thiiing
Oh, I'm one of them!
This game, again
Think about the time that this game came out
Like the- the- all the multiple choice things you can do
Hypnotising people, all that kind of stuff, it's-
It was REALLY REALLY fun back then!
Now, a lotta games have done very similar things
Why are all the- why are all the cops in the town supposed to be Irishmen?
I don't get it
I guess that was the stereotype for back then
Can I extract cow brains?
Let's hypnotise a cow!
What happens if you hypnotise a cow?
Sleep
Are ye gon' go sleep?
They ARE gonna go to sleep!
Can I extract your brains?
...No... Okay
What if I kill you?
Oh, yeah, exPLOOOOOADing cows
Uh, forgot, I forgot. I thought it was, um...
I thought it was just random
Cow behaviour- ENTER SAUCER, BACK WE GO!
We're moving on to Santa Modesta
And then we're gonna destroy the whole place
We're here! Oh, God, the- they're
They're interested in my ship!
Wwaaaaait
No, they're not-
Are- are you guys not worried about the space ship?
*The giggles have returned*
I sure like sayin' that!
Man, nothing changes, does it? *Second time in a while have the giggles returned*
Okay, I gotta scan the people. I'm looking for-
The smartest person in the town!
Which I have a feeling, is not going to be very smart
Well, then
This has a very, uh, Fallout voibe... voibe
*Imitating accent* The accent is rubbin' off
Ahm... it has a very Fallout vibe to it
A- like the whole... 1950's thing
Nuclear war
Everybody afraid of communists kind of thing
It's cool
That's your... fuckin' son
Okay, I have to- I have to
Scan these people because they have information about the pool party!
Okay, I need to, oh, God, I need to keep flying around
No, not that. I need to scan you!
I need brainwaves
Uh, no, but I don't care
I'm on my way, I'm trying to figure out the mission, not listen to you guys
Clear the pool party area of humans
A-uhhhhh
Am I allowed, come out of the, OHH, I have to hypnotise that dude... Okay
Uh... lead everyone from the pool party, there we go!
Come on everybody, it's time to leave
There's a bigger
BETTER pool party down at the...
Jonses!
Certainly not a name I just heard
And then just randomly splurted out now, not at all, what are you talking about?
Haha *Looks behind* That's crazy talk *Looks back* SHUT UP
That's why
Is everybody leaving?
What am I supposed to do?
Why am I leading everyone from the pool party?
Aaaaand, there we go, everyone's gone
Cool
The voices aren't working
Use the R2 button to cycle to the disintegrator ray
Oh
This is gonna be good
Am I allowed to shoot... shoot the shit out of everybody now?
Oh, yes
Everybody turns into dust
And ashes
Where are you going, Mr Mayor?
Nowhere, that's where
Aw, yeah, this used to be my favourite gun
Well, from what I remember anyway
Because
It's the one that has the most fire power
Okay,  I'm at 96%, do I have to kill..?
Cops?
I dunno, well, we're gonna do it anyway. Plus-
Shooting people with this just turns them into...
Gas clouds
It reminded me a lot of War Of The Worlds
How they fire the zappy ray
*Imitating character* Use your zappy gun to stop them
They fire the zappy ray... and then it, um...
It just turns them into dust
It's so fuckin' cool!
Yeah, this is what alien weaponry should look like!
Sorry, I'm just killing you guys for no reason
Ahm
I should be killing the cops
Woo! Yes!
Oh, let's do this!
There should be some stuff lying around that I can use, oh, probe
Thank you
What are you guys? Ooh, disintegrator ammo!
I needed that! I don't know why that's just lying around here but thanks!
There we go, blow up the entire fuckin' place!
Boom boom boom boom boom
Hope you guys are ready
For death!
When did you die? Of, you got killed by a car. Nice
Nice!
The only thing about the disintegrator ray is
That you don't get any DNA out of it
You don't get any brains out of it
It just kind of kills things outright
It's cool in his own way, though. I really like that.
Sorry! Sorry, folks!
Coming through- Mission complete!
But I didn't get it down to 0%
Motel Party Madness, Santa Modesta youths caught in violent jazz music hysteria
Why couldn't I just go in and kill everyone anywa?
Why did I have to go in and... disguise... and... I don't know
Ah, shit, I'm outta ammo
Uh oh
Well, the zap-o-matic isn't gonna fuckin' do anything! Oh, there's ammo up here!
I'll have that, thanks. Now I need a perfect disguise...
I need to get out of the view of everybody and change
There we go
Now nobody's gonna know who I am or what I am or what do
Back to my ship!
This has been a good day
This has been a good day in alien town
Nobody saw me, right?
I got away, clean, clean as a whistle?
I don't think anybody's... looking
Okay
I did it! Do I have to destroy the town now?
That's usually how it all goes. I don't know why I'd go in and investigate stuff when I could just blow it all up and then
Take their brains
Are you sure you want to return to the mothership? Yes
At least I think so. My mission's over, right?
I think so. It didn't say- new mission available. There we go
And it didn't say I have any upgrades. Okay!
Well, I'm gonna leave this episode of "Destroy all humans" here
Hope y'all are enjoying it because I sure as hell am
It's so much fun
It gets even better when you get upgrades later on because you get, you can move cars with your telekenesis
Your chain lightening goes to more people
You get rapid fire disintegrator rays and you're able to do so much more
You get more telekenetic brain power and everything
And your ship gets bigger weapons that can take beuldings out with one hit
So you just fly around the town and kill everything, it's awesome
Then you definitely destroy all humans
But first you have to hypnotise them apparently
But anyway thank you so much for watching this episode, if you liked it
Punch that like button in the face, like a BOSS
And, high fives all around *wapishhh* *wapishhh*
But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes, in the next video!
Hey.. Come here often? I do. Everyday. Too often
