-Can you see?
It's, like, budding.
I don't know.
Where's the best one?
Right there.
It's like...
Come on.
It's all happening right now.
Hi, everybody.
I want to thank everyone
for tuning in to our show
and for staying inside
or in their area.
You're doing the right thing.
And to all my fellow
New Yorkers, I got to say,
I'm so proud of you for staying
inside and wearing a mask
and just doing the right thing.
A lot of people are watching us.
A lot of people are
watching New York
to see what we do, and so
you really are setting the bar,
so thank you so much for that.
Yeah. It's Thursday,
so that's closer to Friday.
Right? It's basically Friday.
So, let's make some
jokes and comedy.
-[ Laughs ]
♪♪
-♪ We in the house ♪
-Come on!
-Tonight, join Jimmy
and his guests --
Vince Vaughn,
Gigi Hadid,
musical guest Maluma,
and the legendary Roots crew.
It's "The Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
-We in the house, y'all.
-And now, here's Jimmy.
-Hey, guys.
Welcome to "Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
Well, you guys, today
is National Honesty Day,
which means tomorrow is National
"Hey, I'm sorry about what I
said yesterday.
I didn't mean that."
This is exciting.
Dr. Fauci said
the U.S. government
could have a coronavirus vaccine
ready by January.
So, good news --
we'll be free to go out
the exact moment
we get snowed in.
Some business news.
On Monday, Macy's plans on
reopening 68 of their stores,
and they're gonna limit how many
customers walk in the same way
they always have --
by putting a perfume sprayer
at every entrance.
"Would you like a --
Would you..."
[ Wheezes ]
I saw that Chick-fil-A
is going to start selling
at-home meal kits.
Chick-fil-A said,
"The only catch is --
if you cook it on Sunday,
you're going to hell."
'Cause they're not open
on Sunday.
This is fun.
I read that Haribo gummies
is celebrating
their 100-year anniversary
with a bag
that includes gummies from
all over the world.
People say all
the gummies are good,
but the ones from Amsterdam
are amazing.
In an Instagram post,
Britney Spears
said that she accidently
burned down her home gym.
Yep, she said it
was an accident,
but people are suspicious,
because today,
she released her new single,
"Oops!...I Did It For the
Insurance Money."
Listen to this.
A city in Sweden dumped over
2,000 pounds of chicken manure
in its main park to keep
residents from gathering there.
Meanwhile, locals were like,
"Or you could have
just put up a sign.
I guess you went with
the chicken-manure route."
I read about a guy in Georgia
who is trying
to set a world record by
having the biggest
LEGO "Star Wars" collection.
It was a fun idea until
his family was like,
"You did what
with our stimulus check?"
[ Toilet flushes ]
-[ Laughs ]
-I mean, that's no sound effect.
A flushing sound effect
after the joke?
-[ Laughs ]
-Right after the joke.
"You did what
with our stimulus check?"
[ Both laugh ]
A woman who got a lottery ticket
from her daughter
as an early Mother's Day gift...
[ Both laugh ]
[ Imitates toilet flushing ]
A woman who got a lottery ticket
from her daughter
as an early Mother's Day gift
won over a million dollars.
Meanwhile, her son was
standing there with a card
and a painted rock like,
"You gotta be kidding me."
That was my gift
to my mom always --
a painted rock...with crayon.
And it was a good gift.
No one else
was giving out those rocks.
And she saved them.
There was, like, a drawer full
of rocks with crayons on them.
Finally, I saw that
the FDA told manufacturers
to make sure its
hand sanitizer taste worse
so people don't
accidently drink it.
Well, it seems like
manufacturers are stepping up.
I think it might really help
people stay safe.
Check out this commercial
I just saw.
-Here at Purell,
we know that it's important
to stay safe,
which is why we're releasing
a whole new line of
unappetizing Purell flavors,
such as spin-class bike seat,
Taco Bell bathroom,
electrical fire, salami burp,
summer petting zoo,
that incense people use
to cover up the pot smell,
but then it just mixes
with it to create
a whole new smell that's
like incense-pot,
and, of course, egg?
So, remember,
these aren't for eating.
They're just for rubbing all
over your hands.
-Hey, that's our
monologue, everybody.
Thank you very much.
What a show we a have tonight.
Oh, gosh, he's funny.
He's a great actor.
I just love the guy. I miss him.
Vince Vaughn
is on our show tonight.
USO is his charity
that he's going with,
and that's a great organization.
We've both done stuff for USO,
and that's cool.
It's fun to catch up with Vince.
He's a very funny guy.
Also, Gigi Hadid
is on the show tonight.
We're going to talk.
She's an expecting mother
right now.
I'm so excited to see her
and talk to her
about what's happening.
And she must be so
happy and over the moon.
We love her.
Here is -- Her charity is
feedingamerica.org/tonightshow
there.
And music -- we have Maluma,
who is just awesome.
Yesterday, talking to him, but
he's going to perform
for us tonight,
and that will be super-fun.
Thank you, Maluma.
Guys, have to mention our
friends at Salesforce.
Thank you so much.
If you text "meals" to 80100,
they will match up to $250,000
up until June 1st.
So keep going, keep going,
keep going.
Thank you so much.
It's so easy --
just text "meals" to 80100.
Thank you for doing that.
All the money goes
to World Central Kitchen.
And thank you, Salesforce,
for doing that.
Big step up.
♪♪
-♪ "Hashtags" ♪
-It is now time for "Hashtags."
This is a game
that I play with you guys.
Every Tuesday, I'll send out
a topic or something
on the socials,
and I'll say, "Hey --"
Like, this one is
#QuarantineABook.
So you get a book title and make
it somehow about the quarantine.
Well, we did that.
It was the number-one trend
in the United States.
So thank you very much for
doing that
and playing along with us.
We do it every single week,
so thank you so much.
Man, oh, man, there's
some funny choices out there.
I think I did --
"Big Little Lysol"
was my hashtag.
But, anyways,
you guys topped me, definitely.
So, let's go through some
hashtags on "Quarantine a Book."
This is from @carrerasherry.
She said, "Oh, The Places
You Can't Go."
This one's from @trivworks.
They said, "Are You There God?
Unmute Yourself."
"You're on mute! You're on mute!
Aah! Write it down."
This one's from @wordsgirl.
She said,
"James and the Giant Bleach."
Don't eat bleach, everyone.
This one's from @gumgummerson.
Oh, we love gumgummerson.
Thank you, Gum.
Gumgummerson -- he said,
"The Toilet Paper
is Gone, Girl."
"The Toilet Paper is
Gone, Girl."
That was a great book.
Wasn't that fun to read?
-Mm-hmm. So good.
-Whipped through
that book like it was --
I couldn't wait to jump back in.
That was a great book. Loved it.
This one's from @Ryanbartholome.
I know that.
He said, "Harry potter
and the Order of the Amazon."
This one's from @Jacks.
She said, "Charlotte's WebMD."
It's a good book.
Sad, sad ending.
But that's the circle of life.
This one's from @ericajuarez71.
She said, "Eat, Pray,
Then Eat Again."
This one's from
@stealyospaghettios.
He said,
"The Call of the Child."
Oh, I know that call.
This last one is from our buddy
Padma Lakshmi.
Padma, thank you
for playing the game.
I'm watching "Top Chef: L.A."
and loving it and loving you.
You're awesome.
So thank you
for everything you're doing.
Thank you for playing
our game, as well,
'cause it helps us.
I love it.
Padma said, "Jane Eyre You Going
to Finish Those Chips?"
"Hey, Jane, Eyre you gonna
finish those chips?"
Padma, I love it. I love you.
We'll be right back with more
"Tonight Show."
Just stand there
so I can take a picture.
That's it.
Just stand there, and then I can
just take the picture.
Just stand there, and then
I can take the picture.
Just stand there a minute.
I'll take your picture.
Stand there,
and I can take the picture.
Just stand there,
and I can take the picture.
Just stand there,
and I'll take the picture.
