- Hi, guys!
Welcome to the Studio C
sci-fi compilation!
- It's the place where you go
see all our sci-fi compiles.
- Yes.
- Prettty self-explanatory.
- May the sketches be
with you, always.
[laughs]
That's right, right?
Star Wars?
- Mr. President,
he wants to speak
with you directly.
- Or what?
- He'll blow up the earth.
- Fair enough.
Put him through.
- Uh, Mr. President?
Are you sure this
is unprecedented?
We have never dealt with
extraterrestrial life before.
- We don't have
any other options.
Do it.
- Greetings, earthlings!
My name is General Zordex,
leader of the planet Sweetara,
and I am here to destroy you.
- Why?
- Because two weeks ago,
a member of your staff
purchased a star which
happened to be my planet's sun.
- I beg your pardon?
- Do not deny it, Mr. President.
I have the official document
right here from starnamer.com.
- Listen, General,
I can assure you,
no one on my staff--
- Mr. President.
I may have unknowingly
purchased his planet's sun
as a 25th wedding
anniversary gift.
- Commander, how could you?
- I'm sorry, sir.
I had no idea.
- No, I mean 
how could you purchase
such a lame wedding
anniversary gift?
That's...awful.
- His wife was so upset,
she made him sleep on the couch.
- That's privileged
information, general!
- Tell them what
you named the star.
- Never.
- Do it, commander.
That's an order.
- [mumbles]
- What was that?
- "Wounded Lover."
[laughing]
- Silence!
Do you think that's funny?
Do you know how annoying that
has been for our planet?
Now whenever it's hot outside,
we have to say,
"The Wounded Lover
sure is strong today.
"Better put on some
Wounded Lover screen
or we'll get the
Wounded Lover burn."
- He's right.
That's super annoying.
- Okay, people,
no one is making him
call it Wounded Lover.
- Actually, we are.
Don't worry, sir.
Starnamer.com's legal team
is the best in the galaxy.
- Oh, regardless,
are you really going
to blow up our planet
because of an annoyance?
- Annoyance?
Our world religion is
based off of sun worship,
and now we pray to
the Wounded Lover.
Our youth have started
to worship the moon,
and not even our good moon.
- But does that really justify
destroying planet Earth?
- We have become the
pansies of the galaxy.
Thanks to our name change,
we've been attacked 
fifteen times
in the last fourteen days.
One of the invading armies gave
our planet a giant wedgie.
 Look at it!
- Ugh.
Why would anyone attack
you over a name?
- A name is everything.
For example,
our neighboring solar
system's star was renamed
"Chuck Norrisaurus Rex."
Do you think anyone
messes with them?
No.
And it's a planet made
of gold, diamonds,
and populated by
fluffy bunnies.
- Let's talk negotiations.
You want money?
- There is no amount of
money which can shield
my planet's self-esteem,
but if you give
us half of your--
What?
Oh.
Well, that's just dandy.
Apparently, our planet
has been completely destroyed
by the bunnies.
I don't even know
how that works.
I hope you're happy.
- Well done, Mr. President.
Crisis technically averted.
- Well done, everyone.
- Who's the fool who dare named
our planet's sun
"lonelyboy4eva."
- Two-for-one special.
- Unbelievable.
- We're closing
in commander.
- We are ready.
The time to invade Earth
has arrived.
All we have to do now is pick
the proper place to strike.
- We should choose a landmark
that will do the most damage.
Might I suggest
The White House?
- I'm not sure.
We have no way of gauging
the true value
of these sites to the humans.
- Oh, wait comrades.
We can plan our attack using
our human technology
known as the Internet.
- Ah...
- Yes, we can use a website
known as [yelps].
- I think you're just
supposed to say the name.
- It's called Yelp.
Commander: Ahh.
- I'm not so sure.
I mean, look at this review.
This person gave The White House
two out of five stars
and said, "They don't even let
you use
"the President's
personal bathroom,
my taxes paid for that!"
- No doubt this person is 
a strong contributor
to their society.
- Indeed.
- I'm not sure how much merit we
should place in these reviews.
- But Sal'torra,
this is the Internet.
It's not like Yelp just
allows anyone to say anything
about anywhere.
That would be stupid.
- Indeed.
We must heed the counsel 
of the all-knowing Internet
and The White House
has too few stars.
Perhaps The Statue of Liberty?
- Ah-ah-ah ah!
One this Yelp user gave it
one star.
He wrote, "The Statue of Liberty
would be so much hotter
if she were holding an M16 
and a Baja Blast from T-Bell."
- An astute observation from
a distinguished art historian,
I'm sure.
- Yes, yes.
Oh!
Oh, but wait,
we can attack the Olive Garden
which always seems to
receive great reviews,
but only in towns where
there are no other restaurants
except for Olive Garden.
Commander: Ahhh.
Now there's a review
you can trust.
- I'm afraid I agree 
with Sal'torra, captain.
We spend too much time
worried about where to invade.
- Thank you.
- And not enough time
on whom to abduct.
- Wait, what?
Let's just explode 
the planet.
- But how do we select the
perfect abductee?
- Oh, we can use 
this human application
and social discovery application
known as Tinder.
- Ahhh, Internet!
How does it work?
- You simply swipe right on
those you wish to abduct.
- Ahhh.
Apparently all you need to
accurately judge someone by
is six deceptively
flattering photos.
- We are one minute away from
Earth with zero plan of attack.
- We don't need one.
We can attack the earthlings
from the safety of our ship
using offensive Internet
posting known as "trolling."
- Internet!
I want to try it.
I want to troll someone.
Ah-ha!
Greetings Earth teenager,
you have an intelligence
slightly below average
LOL jk jk!
- Burn. Burn.
- Oh, he's responding, sir.
- A counter-strike!
"Hey moron,
you look like what would happen
if Voldemort married a smurf."
I don't understand the
reference, but it still hurts.
- I'm sorry, captain,
those teenagers on Earth
are the worst.
- Whatever.
The invasion is off.
- [scoffs]
- Wait, sir, he's responding!
He wrote
#doesyourmomdressyou.
- Invasion is on!
Destroy their planet!
How did he know?
- I don't know!
- Did you tell him?
 [audience cheering]
Man: Mr. President,
the aliens have taken Moscow.
- What're we gonna do?
We're running out of options.
- Well, there is this one thing,
but it's a long shot.
- What is it?
- This.
It was developed in the '80s
by the Reagan administration.
It's a system of
counter-strike space missiles
called the 
Strategic Defense Initiative.
- Is this really
our best option?
I mean, what operating program
does it use,
the FAD-3 Interceptor
or the PAC 400?
- Neither.
Stephen: Nintendo!?
- Not just any Nintendo.
Regular Nintendo.
Okay, uh, I don't really know
how this works.
- What, didn't any of you play
games in the '80s?
- No, we were busy excelling 
in the real world.
- Now we'll pay
for our foolish ambitions.
- Is there no one
who can save us?
Man: Hand me the cartridge.
 [audience laughs and cheers]
My entire life has prepared me
for this moment.
- Are we just going to ignore
the fact that this guy
broke into supposedly the most
secure place on the planet?
- Yeah, this is
a Pokémon Go gym,
so be expecting
a lot of guys like me.
- I don't know.
I don't know.
There's no time.
Just hand him the cartridge.
- Do you know how to work this?
Okay, hey it's--
- Silence!
- Okay, sir,
what is exactly do you think
you're gonna plan--
[blowing]
- Is there any way
that we could--
- [blowing]
- A lot of people
are going to die if--
- [blowing]
- It's not a harmonica.
- Is that really gonna
make a difference?
Oh, it's working!
- Okay, so uh...
- Up, up, down, down, 
left, right, left, right,
A, B, select, start.
- What are you doing?
- I'm earning the Earth
ten bonus lives, you're welcome.
- Okay... Is this...
how it's--
Okay, is it work-- up?
- Yeah, I just pwned
that alien noob.
- Is there anything
we can do to help, son?
- Yeah, gimme a hot pocket.
- There's no way
I'm gonna give him a hot pocket.
- Do you want to lose
New York!?
- Just do it, Mr. Secretary!
- Just do it!
- All right, where are we at?
- My girlfriend is gonna be
so impressed.
She might agree
to actually meet me in person.
- Yeah, I think he's probably
getting catfished.
- There is about 100% chance
it's...
- Here.
- Closer.
C'mon man, my hands are busy!
President: Just do it!
- [mouth full] Yeah,
this is the carbs I need.
All right, all right.
Now I'm ready.
- Oh, oh, hey!
Did it work?
- Is that it?
- You did it?
- He saved Earth!
He saved Earth!
He did it!
- There's no way he actually
saved Earth, okay?
[phone ringing]
- It's confirmed.
He actually saved Earth!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Any 45-year-old Comcast
customer service agent
living in his parent's basement
would've done the
exact same thing.
- Sir, your country and
the world owe you a great debt.
Is there anything we can do?
- Well, there is one thing...
- Okay, uh...
- There is no way
we are doing that.
Owen: What made you think
 it was a smart idea
to create a genetically modified
hybrid dinosaur?
- It was our only option.
People aren't phased
by ordinary dinosaurs anymore.
They need something
 bigger, better.
I give you Indominus Rex.
- Where is it?
 - I don't know.
It's not showing up
on any of these heat scans.
- What kind of dinosaur
did you cook up in that lab?
- That's classified.
- Why can it change
its body temperature, Claire?
- We spliced it's DNA 
with a species of tree frog.
- What is wrong with you people?
Why can't we see it?
- The DNA of the cuttlefish
makes it capable of camouflage.
- Oh...
[grunts]
- There's more.
 - No.
Tell me there's not more.
- It's part raptor.
- NO!
[grunts]
[glass shattering]
Raptor's are my life.
- And it's part ghost.
- What?
Wait, what?
- So it can't die.
- Woman!
- And it has IBS.
- Ugh!
- We made it hypoallergenic.
- Aw, that's cute.
- With just a little bit
of Hitler.
- Ah!
- We replaced its voice box
with an alto saxophone.
- Okay...
- We gave it a Golden Globe
nomination to inflate its ego.
- Boo!
- We left it with 
a large inheritance
and we murdered its parents,
 so it's likely 
to become Batman.
- Aw, no!
- We added just a little bit
of Rebel Wilson,
 so it's a large and in charge
blonde bombshell.
- Oh, good for her.
- And it's part tomato,
so it tastes great 
with cilantro.
- Now you've gone
too far, Claire!
That is it!
[glass shattering]
What have you done?
- No,
what have you done?
[alto saxophone playing]
[screaming]
- Tell my raptors "I love you!"
Man: Captain, 
 the ship is falling apart!
 We have to get everyone 
 out of here before--
Ah!
Captain!
Help!
Is anyone there?
 Can anyone hear me?
 I'm falling!
- Not on my watch.
- Captain, I can't believe it--
- No time to thank me.
It's just what captains do.
Now hold on while I...
Ah!
 Ah!
Looks like this captain's
going down with his ship.
- You can make it.
Just let me go.
- Never!
[grunting] Ah!
Spock!
- Falling would be highly
illogical captain.
- How did you--
- Explaining would be
a waste of time and energy.
 Not to mention the high
improbability that either of you
would understand it.
 Now let me just--
Ah!
Captain, I appear
to be slipping.
- Hold on with that Vulcan
 death grip of yours, Spock!
Rescue is here.
Scotty: Oh, great.
A girl.
Uhura: What? Chauvinist!
- Girls have weaker 
upper body strength.
That's a scientific fact.
- I can confirm that.
Uhura: Do you want me 
to drop you?
Maybe I should get some bro
to help you out instead.
I can't believe this
is happening.
Spock: I admit our situation
seems to defy believabiity.
- Both of you,
the negativity is not helping,
so cut it out!
- I'll cut it out as soon as
you learn to cut out the Oreos,
"Captain Chunk!"
Captain: I'm a stress eater!
But you know what?
I still look great.
Scotty: Not from this angle.
Captain: Do you want me to
 drop 130 pounds, Scotty?
- Point taken.
- Slipping!
- My prescription,
a little less gravity 
in your diet.
- Bones, pull us up.
- Dang it, Jim!
I'm a doctor, not The Hulk!
All: Ugh.
- I thought that 
was a good one.
Ah!
- Well, we're officially 
dead now.
Captain: Why do people keep
showing up
at the last possible second?
This is the worst!
Spock: On the bright side,
 it appears the hand-holding,
team-building exercise
we did at the retreat last month
is now becoming quite useful.
- I'm slipping!
- Already?
- Ha! Who has weaker
upper body strength now?
- Who built this walkway anyway?
It seems the first spaceship
with a high probability 
of shifting gravity and shaking
 is breaking a boatload 
 of safety regulations.
Captain: Our ship can literally
travel at the speed of light,
 and you're complaining 
 about inadequate guard rails?
- I'm just sayin',
 we've mastered teleportation,
 we should be able to master
basic safety precautions.
Captain: Well, as soon as they
scrape our bodies off the floor,
I'll make sure and submit 
a complaint with HR.
Scotty: Well, you'll have to 
 do it without me.
Because I can't hold on...
Captain: Don't you dare 
let go, Scotty!
- I'm sorry, captain!
Goodbye!
Oh, you know what?
I'm touching the ground.
So, should I get a ladder or...
♪♪
 [audience cheering]
- Battlestation is 
heavily shielded
and has a firepower greater than
half a star fleet,
but a small one-manned fighter
should be able to penetrate
the outer defense.
- Pardon me for asking, sir,
but what good are snubfighters
going to be against that?
- Well, the Empire 
doesn't consider
a small one-manned fighter 
to be any threat.
- Because it 
probably isn't, right?
- Yeah, I got a family.
What happens to them if I, 
you know...
I mean, it's called
The Death Star.
- Well, these are all 
great questions.
They'd probably be best
answered by HR.
- Hello, everyone!
My name is Lieran Antares
with human resources.
This R2 unit's going to pass
out some pamphlets for us.
So, just take one 
and pass it around.
 [audience cheers]
Thank you.
 [R2 unit beeps]
- All right, first off,
 I'd like to welcome you all
to the Rebel Alliance
and tell you thanks for joining
the fight
against The Galactic Empire.
Now, I think I heard 
some questions over here.
- Yeah, what's going 
to happen to us?
I mean, the odds
can't be that good, right?
- Oh. Well, that's
a great question.
One of our protocol droids
actually did 
a risk assessment for us.
Uh, 3PO, what were
the numbers on that?
- Oh, the odds of
surviving this attack
are approximately 3,719 to 1.
- That's like navigating 
an asteroid field.
- It's slightly better than
navigating an asteroid field.
Unless you're in a Y wing,
then it's much worse.
- I'm in a Y wing.
Lieren: Well, great news!
Because all new hires are
eligible for life insurance
through Tatooine Mutual
Benefits Association.
So if, and probably when, 
you die in battle,
you can rest assured knowing
that your family
will be taken care of.
- That's kind of comforting.
How much does it cost?
- Well, your monthly premium
starts at 600 credits.
- That's outrageous!
What am I?
Made out of credits?
- I understand,
 but it's very difficult
finding a company
that's willing to insure 
an organization
that is undermining
the government.
- That's fair.
- But on the bright side,
you'll probably only be making
one payment.
- Oh, good.
Wait...
- All right, let's talk about
health insurance now.
- I have a question.
- Yeah, Mr. Skywalker.
- What does the accidental death
and dismemberment cover?
- That just means that if you
lost a limb, we'd replace it.
- Like I'm ever 
gonna need that.
- That life insurance policy,
is it possible to borrow 
against it
if you want some
money to, I don't know,
pay off some debts 
or something?
- Yeah, that's possible,
but if you didn't put 
the money back,
we'd put a freeze on you.
- You mean, 
freeze my account, right?
- Sure.
[Wookie sounds]
- Yes, unfortunately,
all human resources policies
apply to all species.
[Wookie sounds]
- That's a good question,
but ripping arms 
from sockets
is considered harassment.
[Wookie sounds]
You're welcome.
All right, as employees,
you're all eligible 
for a custom computed 401K
which the company will match up
to 10%.
- That's impossible,
even for a computer.
- It's not impossible.
I used to get rates like that
in my Roth IRA back home.
- You also have the
opportunity to donate
a portion of your paycheck to
help out the Rebel Alliance.
- It's a trap!
Lieran: Uh, uh no.
It's not a trap.
Like I said, it's optional.
You know, we're still 
a non-profit.
There's no worries there.
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
- We need to wrap this up.
The Death Star's approaching.
- Okay.
Okay, so for those
of you that survive,
just know that you get up to 
one week vacation
and ten sick days.
Although, I recommend
you save some,
we are planning a company
move to Hoth later this year.
All: [groaning]
Lieran: I know, I know.
It seems we keep setting up
base in Alderaan places.
 Oh, Princess Leia,
 no, no, no, no!
All right, everybody
turn to the back,
pick out a coffin,
and may the Force be with you!
All: I have a bad feeling
about this.
- Hey guys,
now's the time to take 
a nice breath.
Relax, stop laughing, subscribe,
and then jump right back
into the video.
- Get back in!
- Go!
- But subscribe first!
- Yes, it's important.
- Force.
[crows cawing]
- Mom?
- He's gone, Jonathan.
Will's gone again.
I don't know where he is.
♪♪
 I don't know where he is.
- No, there's no way.
 - I've searched everywhere.
He's gone,
but if he could communicate
through the lights before,
he can do it again.
- Okay.
- I'll pull out the Christmas
tree as well.
- Wait, why?
- We have to reach him,
Jonathan.
It's the only way!
Help me with these decorations.
- What about the lights?
- Just help me!
We have to contact Will.
Do you see Will?
 - Anything else?
- Hang this mistletoe 
in the kitchen.
Will?
 Will?
- Why is there a turkey 
in here?
 - We have to reach him,
Jonathan.
The smell will reach him!
- I don't understand!
- Go to your room!
Go get more lights!
 - Mom!
Joyce: Hurry up, Jonathan!
Will, can you hear me?
- Why are you putting up 
so many decorations?
Joyce: The love will bring
 him home, Jonathan!
 Will?
 Will!?
- This is ridiculous!
- Come help me in here!
- What is this?
- It's Father Christmas,
Jonathan!
[hysterically] Will!?
- I'm almost positive 
this thing took Will.
- Christmas might not 
be enough.
Scatter these all around.
- Mom!
- Quick, put this
next to the elf!
- Seriously?
President's Day?
- I'm gonna light these, so--
- Mom, stop, stop!
Just stop.
He's gotta be around here.
There's no need for this.
- Will says he loves us.
- Mom, no.
 - "Fax me."
Go fax him, Jonathan!
- Maybe you should
sit down, Mom.
- Go fax him!
 "You're cool."
Thanks, Will.
Voice: Mom?
- Will, sweetie, is that you?
Voice: Mom? Mom?
Joyce: Will!
Jonathan: Are you okay?
What happened?
- There was a man.
He saved me.
- Was it Father Christmas?
- No.
Jonathan: President's Day
 worked.
- You're safe now,
young Will Byers.
- Thank you,
Rushmore presidents, sirs.
Roosevelt: Remember, young Will,
speak softly 
and carry a big stick.
- Because that Demogorgon...
- He's going down 
like a cherry tree.
Man: All right, 
 settle down Jedi initiates.
Settle down, miscreants!
Today, as you know--
Yes, Galinor?
- Master Kechuit,
can I go bathroom?
- Now, Galinor, if you learn 
to master the Force,
you won't have to go to the
bathroom ever again.
That's one of the perks.
- What if I haven't mastered
Force yet?
- Then let that thought
motivate you.
Today is your final.
If you fail this,
you cannot advance 
to the next level,
so make sure that you pay
close attent--
Seshoa!
Do not cut off your hair 
with your lightsaber please!
- It fell off.
Kechuit: Do I look stupid?
The whole room smells 
like sautéed sin.
As I was saying, for your final,
you will have to demonstrate--
What, Galinor?
- Master Kechuit,
my finger hurts.
- [sigh] Please, Galinor.
Use the Force 
to heal yourself.
We've talked about this.
- But what if it's bleeding,
and I haven't mastered 
the Force yet?
- Then stay off of the carpet.
Now, for your final
you will construct a weapon 
of your choice.
Why they let you wield weapons
before you can even drive,
I do not know,
but that's beside the point.
- Master Kechuit!
Kechuit: Yes, Avadag?
- Gatrian using the force 
on me!
- Stop hittin' yourself!
Stop hittin' yourself!
- Gatrian, do you want
to go to detention?
 And Avadag, come on, man,
 stop hittin' yourself.
[laughing]
- Now you cannot use 
an R2 unit on the final,
that is cheating.
[droid beeping]
- What is that?
- These are not the dwoids
you're looking for.
- These are not the dwoids I'm
lookin--
No! No Jedi mind tricks either.
Sometimes, I-- Arteme,
if you telepathically
project one more image
 of you picking your nose,
I will telepathically swat
you with a wooden spoon.
- Strike me down.
- Have you dabbling 
in the dark side again?
- He joined first.
- You dared me to!
- Class, your behavior 
has gotten out of hand.
Now I can handle a force shield
keeping me locked
in the public bathroom 
all night.
I can even handle you
foreseeing my future
of dying alone.
- That's not true.
You'll have
your blind chinchilla.
Kechuit: But I cannot abide you
persuading others
to join the dark side.
Fortunately, you only persuaded
our most incompetent student,
 Anakin.
- Yes?
- Now all of you,
get to detention right now
with Master Smelly.
- [snickering]
- He is not as patient
or kind as I am,
so by the time he's done
with you, trust me,
you will want to stay far away
from Master Smelly.
[laughing]
Kechuit: You think I'm joking?
Master Smelly is a Jedi
renowned for his silent 
but deadly tactics.
[roaring laughter]
- Outta here!
All of you, right now!
- Master Kech--
- Especially you, Galinor!
May Smelly have mercy 
on your soul.
- Call for me you did, 
Master Kechuit?
- Yes, Yoda,
I just wanted to let you know
I sent my whole class 
to detention.
- All of them, you sent?
- I don't know why 
we train Jedis
when they're 
so young and immature.
Anyway, Master Smelly has them
for the rest of the day.
- Hm, hm.
Smelly his name is.
- Oh, I get it now.
- Where are the others?
- You mean the murderers,
traitors, and thieves
you call friends?
 You'll be relieved to hear
 that I have no idea.
You still want to kill me.
- That happens when you're
being hunted by a creature
in a mask.
[helmet hisses]
- [snickering]
- Why are you laughing?
- You have a moustache.
That's not cool anymore.
- Do you think I care about
what's cool or not cool?
I don't.
I have the Force.
- Honestly, you should probably
put that mask back on.
This look really isn't working
 for you.
- Quiet!
What do you know?
A scavenger.
Do you really not like 
my moustache?
The Force will tell me 
 if you're lying.
- I'm not lying.
- No, you're not.
[music playing]
- What is that?
Is that ABBA?
- It's nothing!
 - Is that a Zune?
That's so lame!
- Liar!
No more questions!
 - Calm down.
- Don't tell me to calm down!
 - Is that 
 a LIVESTRONG bracelet?
- No.
- Are you wearing crocs?
 - Silence!
Get out of my head.
 - Your email address is
ewokboogie@aol.com?
- I set it up when I was 13,
before I was strong 
in the dark side.
- But you were strong 
in the dork side.
 - Leave me alone!
What?
 What are you doing?
Ahh!
[rip]
- That was too easy.
- This is just like at the
academy with Uncle Luke.
♪♪
♪♪
Woman: Wow, it's so beautiful 
up here, Luke.
- You know,
technically a Jedi 
isn't supposed to fall in love,
but...
Seeing as how 
I'm the only one.
Obi-wan: Luke.
She has a cold sore.
[smack]
- It's not a big deal.
- Not a big deal?
I'm pretty sure Boba Fett
fell into that thing.
Over radio: Master Skywalker?
 The plans should be 
 in control room B,
 just around the next corner.
- Hey, stop right there!
- I've been spotted 
and they shot my lightsaber.
Obi-wan: Luke.
- Ugh, not now, Ben.
I'm on a mission.
- Luuuuke.
- Get out of here!
- Luke.
- Ughhh.
- We have reason to believe
the Empire plans
to attack tomorrow.
 In other news,
we've received some complaints
 from the inhabitants of Hoth.
 There's been mysterious
 yellow snow...
[new age music]
♪♪
- I don't want to start rumors,
but do you know who also 
has a cold sore?
Chewie.
Yep.
Sad but truwie.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, deal with it.
Mm, mm, mm.
I'm loving it, mm.
I'm loving all of it.
You're worse than Jabba, 
Big Mac,
but I'm going to eat you
anyways.
- Jedi one.
Jedi two.
Return of the Jedi.
Yes, the beef is strong 
with this one, yes.
Look, I know you're only other
kiss was your sister
and that's a tough one 
to end on,
but have some respect 
for yourself.
Luke, this is good for the soul.
How do you think Yoda lived
until he was 900, hm?
Luke!
- Ugh, what do you want?
- I'm bored.
- Are we like on 
a volcano planet or something?
- Why is it so hot in here, Ben?
- I used the Force to crank
the thermostat to 110 degrees.
- Why?
- Hot yoga, baby!
And like you couldn't use 
the extra burn.
I've seen that Jabba the Huffin
top you've been hiding
under them robes.
[singing "The Imperial March"]
- I should go.
- What?
- Trust me,
you dodged a laser blast 
on that one.
Plus, given your track record,
she was probably your cousin
or something.
 Perhaps something much more.
Don't worry, Luke,
I'll protect you.
- Ah!
My good hand!
- Okay, the really amazing 
thing here
is that he actually
hit something.
[clapping]
Luke: What was that?
- I don't know.
[choking]
No, Luke, please!
 No, I-- I, I am, I am,
I'm kidding.
The Jedi chokehold 
doesn't work on a ghost.
It just goes right through...
 All right, um,
let's do some sun salutations
and call it good.
Namaste.
Namaste, nama--
Namaste, namaste.
Namaste.
♪♪
[boom]
- I did it.
I travelled back in time!
Now to find Hitler 
and stop World War II.
 [time-travelling zap]
 [audience cheering]
- It worked.
I travelled back in time to--
Great Scott, who are you?
According to my research,
there was no one 
in this room in 1938.
- I'm here to stop Hitler.
I'm from the future.
- So am I.
You haven't seen him 
have you?
I brought with me chloroform
and a sock full of nickels.
- What year are you from?
- 1985.
And you?
- 2015.
- Great Scott!
Then I've already failed.
 [time-traveling zap]
- Greetings, dudes!
 [audience cheering]
I am Bill S. Preston Esquire.
- And I am Ted Theodore Logan,
and we are here to stop
World War II.
[guitar riff]
- Is it weird to anyone else
that none of us are trying 
to stop World War I?
It's not like that was a picnic.
- We originally tried to stop
Hitler's parents from meeting,
but that we're the reason
they met in the first place.
Total bummer.
- Time travel is confusing.
[guitar riff]
- Great Scott!
History is being written by
two mad men in a phone booth!
 [TARDIS sounds]
 [audience cheering]
Make that three.
- If you're here to stop Hitler,
get in line, pal.
- No, well, maybe later.
I am just came to deliver these.
- What's this?
- I'm suing 
for copyright infringement.
Both: Bogus!
- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Except I'm not.
Allons-y!
 [audience cheering]
- Now we need to come up 
with a plan!
Hitler's gonna be through
that door at any moment.
 [poof]
[gasps]
- Too many turns...
- Bratwurst!
- Hitler's a lot shorter 
than I thought.
- But surprisingly curvaceous.
- I don't think I can do this.
- Now we can't stand here
idly by
when you have the opportunity.
- Avada Kedavra!
- Volkswagen.
- Somebody already killed him,
so...
- I can't believe you did that.
- Oh, come on.
He was basically 
the muggle Voldemort.
- Did anyone else 
follow that sentence?
- Well, I guess we better bail.
- Yeah.
- Could I get a lift?
This thing only works 
in reverse.
- For a bodacious babe 
like you?
Both: Excellent!
[guitar riff]
- Well, I'm going to go to 1995
and invest in something
called Google.
Or was it America Online?
Well, I'm sure they'll end up
equally successful, so...
Wait a minute.
If you're from 2015,
where's your hoverboard?
- Yeah...
where is it?
Get it together, Earth!
[video game sounds]
- Hey.
- 'Sup? 
- Hey.
How's your test go?
- Oh, really well.
And by that I mean I fell asleep
and missed it.
- Hey, just so you know, man,
Sid's kinda been on one today.
- Again?
Man, that dude is the worst.
You know, yesterday he tried to
get me to throw a broomstick
in between someone's
tire spokes?
- Okay, that's messed up, man.
- Seriously, the kid was like,
five years old.
 [audience cheering]
- Good evening, roommates.
- Hey, Darth Sidious.
How was your day?
- Exactly as I had foreseen.
- I don't know why 
I ask anymore.
- I can feel your frustration.
Frustration is a path 
to the dark side.
Take my weapon.
Strike me down!
And your journey towards the
dark side will be complete.
- Sid, man, seriously.
You are obsessed 
with being struck down.
No one in this apartment is
going to do it, okay?
So, stop asking.
- Okay, but the offer's still 
on the table for whoever...
- Okay, who drank
the rest of the milk
and put the empty jug 
back in there?
- It was I 
who finished the milk.
Mmm, I can feel the hatred
swelling within you.
Take the milk jug.
Strike me down!
- This is not healthy, man.
Go ahead and finish.
- And your journey towards
the dark side will be complete.
Thank you.
That was nice.
- Oh, there we go, there we go.
- Wow, you guys 
are doing really well.
- Right?
These guys are getting worked.
- Good, good.
Use those
aggressive feelings, boy.
- Okay, how did he come in the
middle of the game?
It's online.
It doesn't make sense.
- Oh, I am defenseless!
Strike my Spartan down 
with all of your anger.
- Done.
- What?
Oh!
Stephen: That was good, 
 that was good.
- That was gruesome.
But finally, your path to the
dark side is complete.
- Nah, we're good.
- What do you mean, "Nah?"
You totally struck him down.
Let's just say that one counts.
Will just one of you come 
to the dark side?
I get so lonely.
[wailing]
- Come on, Sid.
The dark side is totally lame.
- Your mother is totally lame.
What?
Must've been the wind, 
the Force or something.
I don't know.
- Okay, not cool, Sid.
- I know, I'm sorry.
I just--
Wait, no.
This is exactly what I want.
I can feel your hatred.
- I think you need to apologize.
- No.
In fact,
your mother is so fat,
it's like The Death Star 
put on a pair of pants.
- Oh no, he didn't.
- Oh, he did.
By the way, 
Jabba the Hutt called,
he wants your mother to come
over so that he can feel skinny.
Matt: Oh, snaps.
- Snap, indeed.
In fact, if you won't join me,
maybe she will,
we can call her 
Darth Cellulite.
- That's it.
- Yes.
Strike me down!
Oh!
That is so much hotter 
than I expected.
Maybe we should reconsider
the whole striking down thing.
Yes, yes.
Stephen, let's play Canasta.
Search your feelings!
 Ahh!
Man: My, my, my.
This is absolutely fascinating!
 [TARDIS sounds]
Doctor: 'Ello.
 [audience cheering]
- What?
Who are you?
- I'm The Doctor.
- The Doctor of what?
- Just The Doctor.
I travel through time 
and space in a police box.
Sounds a bit weird 
when you say it out loud.
- So you're a time traveler?
- Well, time lord, but, yeah.
- But, why?
Why in the history of space
and time did you come here?
Now?
- I've finally done it.
My life's work is complete.
Behold, my newest invention.
The airhorn!
[airhorn]
 [boom]
No!
Why did you do that?
This was the only protoype.
- Your welcome, Earth.
Allons-y!
 [audience cheering]
- I may want this later.
- Luke, I need you to subscribe,
or Jon or Bill 
or whatever your name is.
Not just Lukes.
- Katie, Amelia, Sandy, Tess?
- Maybe that's the problem.
- Louis, Kat...
- Maybe we only get
subscriptions
from people named Luke.
- There are a lot of Lukes
out there.
- That's true.
- But not enough.
- Keep subscribing, Lukes.
- And tell all 
your Luke friends.
- Yeah!
And comment to 
all your Luke friends.
- Yes.
Just comment Luke,
and we'll know what you mean.
