

**UNTIL THE GANGWAY TEARS US APART**

By V. Louro

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 V. Louro

**Smashwords Edition, License Notes**

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

# 1

The Spa manager's leaving party was so outstanding that early morning Denise could still hear the beat of the drums echoing through her mind. There was also the drinking. Her efforts not to drink too much hadn't really worked. The plan was to stop by and say goodbye to Joanne, have one drink and then go to sleep. But the drinks multiplied and when she finally made it back to the cabin she should have gone to sleep. Should...

Her blurred thoughts were interrupted by her supervisor's enthusiastic voice on the radio.

"What are you talking about?! Of course the passports match. I checked them myself. Tell those idiots I'll be in the terminal in a second!" Amy shouted. The port authorities were trying to make things difficult. They counted the passports, checked the paperwork and either decided the numbers didn't match or came up with some little detail that stopped things from moving forward.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, I haven't had my coffee yet, and all this people do is pissing me off!" Amy grumbled, sinking on the chair.

Denise knew it was not a good idea to talk to her supervisor before she had at least one dose of caffeine, however, rules didn't really apply on turnaround day. "I can't wait to get out of Asia and get rid of these passport dramas." She said as Amy fixed her short dark hair looking at the small mirror over her desk.

Denise felt her stomach growling. It was breakfast time hours ago. Because of Diego she forgot to get some supplies from the galley the night before and there hadn't been time to eat anything yet.

"Let me go and push my diplomatic button. I really need a coffee..." Amy declared in a very theatrical way before she left the crew office, ready to face more madness.

Her high heels could be heard on the metal floor all the way to the end of the corridor and Denise wondered how someone could wear those shoes on a day when they never worked less than twelve hours.

She stood up and took a peek at the small square mirror above Amy's desk. Her blond hair was pushed back on something that looked like a ponytail. She would have to do something about it later, when she didn't feel so tired and hungry.

Denise tried to focus on the pile of passports growing on the messy desk. It was only ten in the morning and her eyes were already burning from looking at a computer screen for so long. What kind of person had already worked for five hours at ten o'clock in the morning? A crew member, of course!

"I need a drink!" She murmured. "Better, I need a lot of drinks to survive this contract."

It had only been two months and she already felt exhausted. How she was going to survive the next four months was a mystery. It had worked before, it would work again. That was what she told herself every time she signed another contract and went back on cruise ships.

Denise hated turnaround days. On the busiest day of the cruise it would be nice to have peace and silence. She wanted some fresh air but opening the door was a very bad idea. First, unwanted guests would show up for sure and second the noise from the M1, the ship's main service corridor, wouldn't let her concentrate. There were people everywhere because the ship was being loaded with supplies for the next cruise and the forklifts went back and forth all morning into the terminal building. The sound was everything but harmonious.

Since Amy's departure to sort out the immigration officer's trouble, the radio had been unusually quiet. Benjie and Diego were getting the leaving crew out of the ship and Denise needed to get the paperwork ready for the new crew arriving. If the information was not in the system on time the ship wouldn't get clearance to sail.

She heard a key on the door and Diego walked in with a box of papers on each hand.

"Hi there. Did you get rid of them?" She asked briskly.

"What a rude way to talk about our beloved colleagues." Diego riposted. "They're all gone. Everyone is on the way to Bangkok airport and they are no longer our problem."

"Good. That's half our problems solved. Let's focus on the other half. Where is Benjie?"

"Helping Amy. She's still handling a Thai guy who can't make up his mind about a few things and since he doesn't have a clue what he's doing of course that automatically becomes our problem." Diego explained. "Or let's just say we can reward him with a few gifts and I can promise you those papers will be miraculously in order."

Denise sighed. "I can't wait to get to Australia and start working with normal people. These Asians are way too complicated. The Chinese lost a fortune worth of bottles of champagne, which I'm sure will be sold in some Hong Kong market, the Koreans held us in port for two hours for no reason other than showing us they can do whatever they like, we missed a bunch of ports because of the typhoons and now these ones conveniently can't count passports unless we give them something to boost their memory." She made a pause to put her thoughts in order. "At least you don't have to worry about putting up with crazy people for much longer." She vented, her stomach growling. Hunger was making her crabby.

"I know. Are you still very upset?" He asked looking her in eyes.

"About my job change? Yes, being treated unfairly has that effect on me. But I am happy to give you my place. Amy is the best. You'll have a good time here."

He could feel that Denise was very disturbed by having to leave a job she liked so much to become front desk supervisor the following cruise. The decision had been made by a senior manager who didn't like her and she hadn't been taking it lightly. Diego didn't see the point of keep talking about something he couldn't change so he sat on the other side of the desk and started ordering the papers from the departed crew. "Is there anything else I can do to make you happy?"

Denise dropped her glasses on the desk again and gave him an indulgent look. "As a matter of fact there is. Strawberry milkshake would be great, since I didn't have time for breakfast and lunch is clearly not in the picture today."

"And let me guess, you want me to get it for you."

"For us." She corrected. "You do the transportation. I pay."

"Deal. But only because you were really nice to me last night."

Denise gave him a wink. "It's because I was so nice to you last night that I only slept three hours and feel so damn tired. Please bring milkshakes for Amy and Benjie too."

Diego smiled as he remembered that they should have gone to sleep early the night before having such a long day of work ahead but they were having too much fun to think about sleep...

As soon as he walked out the door there was a loud squawk. "Gangway to crew office. Gangway to crew office. You have a new arrival." The voice said.

Denise snatched the radio from her belt and pressed the button on the left side to reply. "On my way".

She locked the door and walked carefully along the busy corridor where a mess of food deliveries, suitcases and people doing all sorts of jobs reminded her that she was working in a house of madness.

Every turnaround day they disembarked 3000 passengers with their luggage before eleven in the morning and loaded the ship with supplies for the next cruise. By midday another 3000 passenger came onboard with their nearly 6000 pieces of luggage and on top of that, crew members went home after a contract at the same time new crew members arrived tired and jet lagged and were immediately put to work. Most crew would work at least twelve hours and everybody was expected to do all that with a smile. Total madness in the name of great service provided to the passengers who paid for a holiday dream and expected nothing less.

* * *

After being dropped off by the port agent who did a disappearing act seconds later, Sofia was left sitting on her suitcase waiting for someone to tell her where to go next. While waiting, she looked at the white ship and admired her size and beauty. On the side she read the vessel's name, Ocean Pearl. Pretty. From where she was the ship looked gigantic, very elegant with its sparkling white color and the contrast with the wooden railings on the promenade deck and the bluish of the glassed balconies. Sofia couldn't really see all the way to the top because she was too close to the side of the ship but she noticed the bright orange lifeboats, some people walking in different directions on deck and the doors opened like a tunnel for the forklifts. The gangway was very busy.

The balconies looked lovely and she imagined sitting on one of them wearing a bath robe and sharing a cocktail with someone loved. Not that she wanted to think about love. That was one of her least favorite subjects at the moment.

The young woman wearing a white uniform and a golden stripe on the shoulders approached and by the way she was smiling Sofia guessed she was the welcoming committee.

Denise tried to put her hair in order but the wind kept messing it around her face. "Another bad hair day," she murmured, tugging a wisp of hair behind her left ear. She waved a hand at the doctor who replied with a smile and continued looking mesmerized at the ship.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is indeed. Hi, I'm Sofia, the new doctor." She gave Denise a strong and friendly hand shake.

"Hello and welcome to our floating world. I'm Denise. I work in the crew office. Please follow me. Do you need help with your bags?"

"No thanks. It's great that these things come with wheels." She pointed at the bottom of the suitcase.

Sofia followed Denise and dragged her heavy luggage up the gangway, saving the questions for later. They passed security where a group of smiling Indian faces in immaculate white shirts and matching white trousers scanned her belongings on the x-ray machine and cleared her to go. They passed the big brown doors that separate the crew area from the passenger's stairs, walked through the long white corridor with posters and ship's deck plans on the walls that Denise called M1 and Sofia was impressed with the organized chaos going on.

Forklifts jammed storage areas, suitcases literally flew from one side to the other, a radio played loud dance music and men in boiler suits talked loudly in Italian. She tried to look natural and confident, although a million questions lined up in her mind.

"I'm so going to get lost in this place!" She confessed loud enough for Denise to hear it.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. It's not as bad as it looks." She answered as she opened the door to the crew office where everything was exactly the way she had left it and there was no sign of her life-saving milkshake.

Sofia was told to fill some forms while they waited for someone from the medical department to pick her up. She handed her passport and tried to understand why they were going to keep it in the safe until the end of her contract.

"How do I get to the ports then?" She asked, feeling a bit uneasy without the possession of her official ID.

"You will be issued with a picture ID like this one I have around my neck." Denise showed her the laminex, which Sofia examined for a second.

"No offense, but I hope I'll look better on my picture." The doctor said politely.

Denise chuckled. "Lesson number one my dear: no one ever looks good on a laminex picture. But this one isn't so bad. My last contract my face was green. I used to feel embarrassed to show that card around but the security officer thought it was funny so he made me keep it the entire contract."

Sofia gave her a pitiful look. Diego came in with the milkshakes and found them laughing. He gave a large cup to Denise and apologized for not having one for Sofia.

"No worries. I know I wasn't expected but you need to tell me where to get those, for future reference, since I'll be here for a while."

Denise introduced them. "Sofia, this is Diego. He is doing handover with me, which means that soon he will be doing my job and I will be replacing him as front desk supervisor. Diego, this is Sofia, the new baby doctor."

Sofia took a quick look at the tall young man with dark hair and light brown eyes. It seemed that no one onboard had time to use a brush that morning but he did pull the disheveled look all right.

Diego gave her a hand shake and admired her beauty in silence. The word that came to his mind was simple and small: hot! Complimenting the doctor's perfectly formed ass, the naturally tanned skin and her amazing green eyes in front of his girlfriend would probably lead to serious complications so he kept his opinion to himself.

"Baby doctor?" Sofia looked at both of them bewildered.

Diego understood her surprise straight way. "There are two doctors onboard, the senior doctor who is your superior in rank and head of the medical department, and you. Your job has always been called baby doctor, I don't really know why. One day someone came up with that and it stuck." He clarified.

"Good. For a moment I thought you were expecting a pediatrician." She replied and returned the papers to Denise.

Sofia received a package with the ship's general information, a key card for her room, a very useful ship's map, her account number, a pin with the company's logo and two name badges with her name spelled wrong. They wrote Sophia instead of Sofia. The moment she organized everything inside the manila A5 envelope another smiling face ducked through the door.

"Mary! Here's your mission for the day. This is Sofia, the new baby doctor and brand new to sea. She's all yours." Denise told the nurse with enthusiasm.

"Oh love, if this was my only mission today I would be as happy as the pigs in the mud!" The senior nurse answered with a strong Irish accent. "Hello." She said turning to Sofia. "Welcome to the team. I'm going to show you your cabin, the medical center and we also have to get you a uniform. Busy day for you."

"It's all right. I'm used to be busy." Sofia replied with a smirk. A ship couldn't be worse than a hospital, she thought.

They said goodbye to Denise and Diego and promised to see each other later. Mary helped pushing her suitcase out the door and as Sofia followed, the nurse gave her what she claimed to be very important information.

"First of all, stay away from Italians. Second make sure your pager is always working, third, don't listen to gossip. Also, be aware that crew members have a tendency to pathetic sex lives. I wouldn't say love lives because most of them have no idea what love is and the ones who know eventually leave the ships before it's too late. If you want to get out of here mentally sane, stay away from crazy people." Mary said like she was advising her on how to survive in the jungle.

"I thought you would be giving me important information about work." Sofia replied with a chuckle.

"Work? No way. I'll leave that to Ryan, the senior doctor."

Sofia followed Mary to the starboard side where her cabin was located. Curious looks clearly speculated who she was but no one said anything. Either they were too shy or just afraid of Mary. Sofia suspected it was the last option.

In the crew office, Denise took a sip of her milkshake and looked at Diego. "So, how did you find the new doctor?" She asked casually.

"Very honestly, gorgeous! What a beautiful woman." He replied innocently.

Denise threw him a stapler that nearly hit him in the shoulder, proving he was right about silence before. "Hey! You asked." He chided.

"I meant as a person."

"The five minutes she was here I felt a good vibe". He took the stapler that meanwhile landed on the floor and tried to put it back together. There were staples everywhere.

"I liked her. I can feel we'll be good friends." Denise declared and started ordering the passports into piles of done and not done, ignoring the fact that he was cleaning her mess.

Diego looked at her sideways. "Sure, but for the record, she is gorgeous." He stated, holding her hands over the desk to make sure nothing else would fly in his direction.

Sofia opened the door to her cabin and what she saw made her happy. There were two portholes framed by striped curtains that allowed for decent natural light, a double bed with a cover matching the curtains, a bedside table with two drawers and a lamp, a long desk with a cupboard, a small TV with DVD player, a double closet and a good space behind the door to put the luggage. Not bad at all. She took a quick look at the bathroom: tiny with no bath; the shower was big enough to fit a skinny person.

"So, what do you think?" Mary asked impatiently.

"Nice. Needs a bit of decoration."

"Your steward will probably only meet you tomorrow. He must be busy today with the passenger's bags but I'm sure he'll be very helpful and arrange for anything you need." She said like the doctor knew exactly what she was talking about.

Sofia gave her a quizzical look. "I have a steward?"

"Yes. There is a young man, likely Filipino, who will take care of your room: do your bed, empty the bin, take care of your laundry, you know, things like that."

"Wow. Does everyone get that treatment around here?" Sofia asked unknowingly.

"Of course not. Only officers. There are many privileges in having stripes on your shoulders. Talking about that, let me show you the medical center now. We still have to get you the uniform and the clock is ticking." Mary took her across the corridor.

Sofia asked where she was from in Ireland.

"Galway." The nurse replied.

"I used to live in Dublin."

Mary glanced at her bewildered. "Really? So you're from Portugal, your documents say you went to med school in England and you used to live in Dublin? What in the world are you doing on a cruise ship in Thailand the week before Christmas?"

Sofia shrugged. "Long story. I'll tell you one of these days."

They entered through the crew door into what looked like a waiting room with chairs and posters advertising how to deal with a number of things. Sofia could see the pharmacy on the left and an observation room to the right. A tall man completely dressed in white and with four red and gold stripes approached them. He smiled warmly and introduced himself.

"Hi. You must be Sofia. I'm Ryan from South Africa, senior doctor. We have a small but very nice team here and I'm sure you'll have a great time with us. Welcome."

Sofia shook his hand and smiled back. "Thank you. It all looks very interesting but I'm still feeling lost. Big ship."

Ryan gave her an understanding look. "Soon you will find her small. I promise."

Mary went to check the contents of a box that had just been delivered by a bellboy with what she expected to be medical supplies ordered two weeks earlier and Ryan showed the new doctor her working place. He gave her the pager that Mary had mentioned earlier, her emergency blue card stating her duties and told her everything she had to know for that day. He didn't want to overwhelm her with too much information. She took note of the inductions she would have to attend starting that afternoon and gained conscience that her first week was going to be almost as bad as her first week of internship in the hospital.

Back in the reception area the senior doctor paged Keira, one of the nurses, and told her to go with Sofia to get a uniform from the linen keeper since Mary was now on the phone with someone who had sent her the wrong order.

Keira was an English, tall, red headed girl, friendly but a bit too loud for an already confused Sofia, so the doctor let her talk and pretended to know exactly what she was saying. It was easier to keep it like that for the moment than taking the chances on getting even more baffled. They took the amidships stairs to deck 2, according to the nurse because Sofia had no idea where they were, and then knocked on a big white door.

The linen keeper, a short Italian man, received them with rude manners, complaining about his opening times. As soon as Keira told him that Sofia was the new doctor his attitude changed radically. He smiled and continuously asked what else they needed. He checked that all the items on the list were there and waved them goodbye with a big smile as they walked upstairs again with a pile of clothes.

"Did you see that? As soon as I said the magic word doctor he was all nice and smiles." Keira observed with amusement.

"Is it always like that? Do we always get special treatment?" Sofia enquired wondering what kind of world she was getting into. The hiring agency ashore had not been very specific.

"It's unfair for most of the crew, but yes, we tend to be treated better, first because we are officers and second because no one wants to upset the medical department. Pretty soon you will understand what rank means onboard a cruise ship." Keira explained, getting Sofia to conclude that maybe some things would never change, no matter where you are.

As they entered Sofia's cabin the clothes were dropped on the bed. The doctor picked up a skirt and blouse that looked almost ironed and tried them on. After struggling with the golden buttons and the stripes she managed to look all right. The skirt was too long, the blouse didn't have a shape, the fabric was rough and the buttons were not user friendly but she would have to deal with those details some other time. A message from the bridge came through the PA calling all the new joiners to go to induction one.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"You take that life jacket, your blue card and go. It should take about one hour. Page me when you're done and I'll meet you for a quick bite. You must be hungry." Keira instructed her.

"Starving." Sofia replied walking out the door with all the gear.

She didn't have any idea of where to go but it was easy to follow the crowd carrying orange life jackets all the way to deck 8, to the crew recreation room, better known as crew bar. She found the place too cold and poorly decorated. Maybe it would look better at night with different lights. She sat on one of the chairs lined up in the central area and waited like everyone else. Her fellow crew members looked bored.

A few officers came in and during almost one hour she heard a well elaborated speech about onboard safety, fire extinguishers, what to do in an emergency and ships organization. As important as that could be, she found it way too much information for someone who had just travelled half way around the world into something almost as strange as a brand new planet. Sofia decided she would learn all that stuff after she knew how to go back to her cabin.

Keira arrived right after Sofia paged her. "Pizza?" She offered.

The doctor touched her empty stomach. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that word."

The nurse guided her to the elevator and pressed fifteen. "Let me warn you that the pizzas onboard are not the best. We'll have a better dinner tonight." Keira promised.

"I'm so hungry I'll eat anything."

The outside deck looked very nice, fascinating even. They passed by one of the pools and saw many passengers consulting their pocket maps and wandering around. Sofia liked the wide open spaces, the different bars and the ship had been designed to be comfortable and stylish at the same time. The top decks were beautiful and she guessed the passengers would want to spend a lot of their time there. From up there the view was amazing and she felt tiny as she looked down over the dock. It was like being on top of a really tall building.

"In some ports we can get a great view from here." Keira observed and they sat on white chairs by the tall windows with two slices of pepperoni pizza each.

"I bet. I haven't felt this small in a very long time."

"Wait until you see a sail away from Sydney. That moment, if you don't know why you are working on a cruise ship, you'll find out."

They returned to the medical center where Sofia spent a few hours before having a chance to call it a day and start unpacking. Keira told the new doctor how she could send her clothes to the main laundry and where to find the launderette in case she preferred to look after the clothes herself. The nurse also promised to show her the way to the officer's mess.

After a quick shower, Sofia realized she was hungry again and the jet lag was starting to hit her badly. Her muscles were sore and her messed up body clock demanded rest. Her mind was not quite focused on her new reality yet.

Someone knocked loudly.

"Food!" Two cheerful voices said at the same time.

Sofia opened and Keira walked in with another nurse, Carla. Her name tag said South Africa and she was very pretty, tanned, with black wavy hair, dark brown eyes and a very athletic body.

As they made their way towards what was supposed to be the back of the ship, not that Sofia knew which way that was, she noticed that the nurses had two red stripes, while Mary had two and a half, she had three and Ryan four. Ranks seemed to be very well defined onboard.

In just a couple of minutes they reached the back, went up one deck and walked through a small room with a buffet line and from there to a wider room with wooden walls and no windows. There were tables set up with white plates, glasses and cutlery.

They sat in a corner and a friendly waiter of Asian features named Joey gave them a menu each. Sofia ordered the spring rolls, which should be a starter so she asked for two portions. She took a small plate and got some cheese from the buffet line. From the corner they could see the entire room and it was pleasurable to be able to observe people without causing the impression of being nosy.

"Who are those with the khaki uniforms looking at us?" The doctor asked.

"Technical department. The one pretending to eat is English. The other two are Italians and they're probably thinking something like I need to get sick, the new doctor is hot." Carla explained making them all laugh.

Keira gave her a disapproving look. "Stop it. The woman has just arrived and you are already scaring her."

"I'm only preparing her for ship's reality. She better get used to it." Carla replied.

Sofia was finding everything very amusing.

"Let's get to the important business." Carla continued. "Over there on the left side in the oval table, is the technical area. Anyone who dares to sit there will receive unfriendly looks but I'm sure they would open and exception for pretty girls. On the other side is the pursers' domain. Pursers are the ones who put up with the passengers, poor things. You've probably met a couple of them and the others must be arriving. After a day like this they always go for a drink in the officer's wardroom before dinner. The guys from the bridge like that middle area and you'll recognize them by the black and gold stripes. Cruise staff are the ones who play with the passengers to keep them entertained. You'll see them wearing very strange outfits sometimes."

"What about us, do we normally sit here?" Sofia enquired.

"I like this corner because we can watch everyone but we can seat wherever we like because everyone loves us and if they don't, we don't care because sooner or later they'll need us and they all know that." Carla retorted.

"Cheers to that." Keira lifted her glass on a toast.

"Now, also very important, that door over there is the officer's wardroom, best known as wardie. It's a private bar only for officers. We can go and have a drink after dinner so you get familiar with the place." Keira offered, pointing at the dark brown door across the room.

Joey served them the meals and even though she was confused and tired, Sofia had a wonderful time and a positive first impression of life onboard. Maybe because Carla and Keira made everything seem like a big comedy, she was looking forward to the next few days to know more people and find a space in that world, so different from everything she was familiar with.

Many more people came in to the room to have their meals and soon the atmosphere was filled with voices. Sofia could see the curious looks in the faces of those who didn't know her yet.

After dinner they moved to the so called wardroom, an enclosed space with wooden walls that felt a bit claustrophobic. The wardie was much smaller than she expected. There were a few tables and sofas, a TV that no one was paying attention to and a stereo in a corner playing loud music. There were no windows and the decoration consisted of a few paintings. Smoking was allowed and Sofia was not happy about that. She found it hard to breathe and she hated the smell.

They ordered drinks from another Filipino bar tender before they found a seat. There were more men than women and except for two girls everyone was wearing uniform. Keira guessed Sofia's thoughts and told her that it was not mandatory to wear uniform in there, but most people never bothered to change because they needed it for dinner anyway.

She recognized Denise sitting on a couch and joined her together with the nurses. She was having a glass of red wine and chatting with Amy, the crew office manager. They talked about trivialities and a little later Diego came in and asked loudly for a rum and coke before he sat on the couch in the spot next to Amy.

"Bad afternoon?" She asked looking at him sideways.

"Considering that last cruise we missed four ports because of the typhoon and I thought Armageddon was about to start, today wasn't that bad." He replied coolly.

"I'm not convinced. Tell us the details." Carla asked, knowing the front desk was the best source of dramatic comedies onboard.

"Let me see..." Diego paused for a moment. "I got this guy who wanted us to give him two thousand dollars to buy a new laptop because we broke his. The moron put it in the main luggage and now it's our fault it doesn't work. Then there was a lady making a fuss because we have Christmas trees onboard but no menorahs. I told her the trees are holiday trees, not Christmas trees, like anyone would ever believe that! She didn't buy it so the only thing I could think about to get rid of her was to say that we ordered the menorahs, but the company failed to deliver them. There was also a man who complained because he wanted to stay in the bar drinking during the drill and the nasty bar tender closed the bar and told him to fetch the life jacket and go to the muster station. So he decided he should argue with the reception about the ship's potential sinking schedule and if it was really that important to know what to do in case of an emergency because apparently emergencies never really happen. Finally I had a couple who wanted an upgrade because their son is in Iraq." He concluded and everyone giggled.

"Not bad." Amy acknowledged. She had had her share of front desk dramas in her previous contracts. "I think you deserve another drink. This one is on me."

"Thank you." Diego answered, feeling relieved that the day was over.

A few minutes later Ian, the administration officer, and a tall blond guy walked in and Diego joined them on a dart game.

The girls stayed in the comfort of the sofas. Sofia felt her body begging for a bed. It had been a long, long day and she thanked Carla and Keira for their company and left. It was easy to find the way back to the cabin. Her suitcase was open in a corner waiting for when she had some time to unpack. She desperately needed a few hours of sleep first.

Sofia had a quick shower, put on a white pajama and looked for a book to have on her bedside table for whenever she had the chance to read. She threw herself on the bed and felt the ship moving. It was not too intense but she could clearly feel the movement. It was exciting to be there. She left the curtains open so she could admired the moonlight. Water splashed on the portholes as she closed her eyes and sunk into deep sleep.

* * *

Denise was happy to have some time on her own before Diego arrived. She knew it would be a while before he left the wardroom and on turnaround day she was grateful for some time to recover a little.

She had a very long shower, moisturized her hair with a special mask she had purchased in the Spa and spread cream all over her body. She lit on a candle which was absolutely forbidden onboard due to fire hazard. She had bought a few that came inside a metal tin and had a cover so as long as she only lit them when someone was in the cabin she didn't feel too bad for breaking the rules.

She put on a tight top and shorts that she used to sleep and opened a book she had brought with her from home. Every contract she used to bring a few and tried to read them all before getting home. Normally she did but today she couldn't move past the middle of the first page. Her mind kept circling back to Diego.

It was the first time she had allowed herself to be on a relationship onboard. There had been a few short lasting episodes involving other people but because the timing was never right and neither were the guys she had been involved with, they didn't go anywhere and she was happy for that. With Diego things had taken a different course.

At first she thought of him the same way as she thought of a number of other people - lightly. But he had been very persistent. He had paged her and called and invited her out since they had first talked on a trip back to the ship after being ashore for a few hours in Vietnam the week she had joined the ship. She liked the fact that he knew what he wanted and didn't quit easily. At that time the last thing she wanted was to complicate her life by getting a boyfriend but then she started to enjoy his company. In only a few days they were sleeping together. She had no idea how that had happened so fast.

She was sure that had they been ashore she would have taken things easier and slower, but onboard everything is fast and intense. She had worked on ships long enough to know that but it wasn't something she thought about much. After almost two months sharing her life with him she wasn't sure if it had been a good idea to move so fast. The part of him sleeping with her was nice. She enjoyed having him there. His presence was comforting and soothing but a part of her was afraid of how things were going to end. They hadn't talked about that since both of them were still going to be onboard for a while.

Denise was starting to like Diego more than she felt safe with and that concerned her. She had successfully guarded her heart against the pain and deception that she had heard so much about through her years onboard and now she had put her guard down and she wasn't sure if that had been a good idea.

Every day she was happy to come back to her cabin and throw herself in Diego's arms. And God, he knew how to push her buttons, every single one of them. She couldn't think of any better part of her day than when Diego put his arms around her and drove her to bed. Maybe their relationship had become too concentrated on the physical aspect but so far she hadn't seen a problem in that.

What scared her was the idea that if Diego didn't show up one night she would be miserable and lonely. It was the fact that she had gone from enjoying Diego to needing him that concerned her the most. She hadn't prepared for that and she wasn't sure how she would handle the outcome. She didn't even know what the outcome would be. They had never talked about it either and Denise didn't see Diego very enthusiastic with the idea of talking. Actually, talking was the last thing he wanted to do with his mouth when they were alone.

A key on the door interrupted her thoughts. Diego came in with a grin.

"Hello. How come you didn't tell me we were having a romantic evening? I would have been here earlier." His eyes were set on the burning candle on the table.

Denise closed the book and put it on the shelf near the others. "You know me. I like to be prepared."

He played dumb. "Prepared for what exactly?"

"Maybe I should just wait and see how good your imagination is." She picked up the book again and pretended to go back to her reading.

He kneeled by the bed next to her and played with the cord of her shorts. He lifted her top a little and kissed her stomach. "I'm going to have a shower now but when I'm done I'll be happy to give you a demonstration of how good my imagination is." He said very softly and moved his lips up to her neck and then to her mouth. "Enjoy the reading."

She followed him with her eyes as he closed the bathroom door. There was no way she was going to concentrate on reading.

# 2

At six the next morning Sofia was wide awake. The ship was rocking a lot more than the night before and she took a pill just in case. It made her drowsy, but drowsy was not as bad as seasick.

Big splashes of water on the portholes reminded her where she was. There was a deep haze over the water and the skies were gunmetal gray. It looked like a great day to be indoors.

Sofia unpacked before heading for breakfast, using the left side closet for her uniforms and the right side for personal clothing. She put some pictures on the walls with tape, to remind her of the friends and family she wasn't going to see for a while. Hesitantly, she put up a picture of Kieran as well. He wasn't family and didn't exactly fit into the concept of friend, but as much as she hated to admit it she missed him more than anyone else.

After breakfast she started her job in the medical center, where she had an easy morning attending crew. None of them was seriously sick or badly injured.

Later she stopped by the crew office to buy phone cards and internet time for her laptop. Denise was by the window with Benjie. Amy and Diego were sitting in the back. Everyone looked a lot more relaxed than the previous day.

"Ten dollars for 24 megabytes?" Sofia observed in shock when she got the card. "You have to be joking!"

Denise giggled. "Sorry dear, unfortunately that's how expensive it is. And most of the times the connection is slow. If you want to look at the good side, be advised that the passengers pay a lot more."

"Crap! Can I use the computer in the office instead?"

"I guess you can, but the company blocks social networks and video streaming. You can only use a private laptop for stuff like that." Denise explained.

"I guess I'll have to pay for these stupid 24 megabyte cards then!" Sofia whined.

Amy shrugged from her seat and smiled understandingly. New joiners all had the same issues and then they got used to how things worked and stopped complaining.

"Well, we live with what we have, isn't it?" Diego observed. "At least the drinks in the crew bar are cheap."

His comment made everyone chuckle. Sofia didn't take long to realize that if logic applies very little in the outside world, it means even less on cruise ships.

Before she left, Denise invited her for a drink in the wardroom after work, just before dinner. Sofia didn't like the place because of the smoke, but she didn't want to miss the chance to make friends and gladly accepted the invitation. It had to be better than the loneliness of her cabin.

After closing the medical center for lunch she got a small window of opportunity to take a walk on deck 7, expecting to be able see a bit more of the vessel. There were nice Christmas decorations that were officially called holiday decorations so that the passengers who didn't like Christmas wouldn't get upset.

After another induction Sofia took the amidships stairs and stopped by the entrance of the atrium, known as the Piazza on deck 5. The Piazza went from deck 5 to deck 7 and it was a wide beautiful area, luxuriously decorated. As she faced the atrium, there was one dining room on the left and the Internet Café to the right, where a lot of passengers were catching up with their emails. Right in front of her there were two panoramic elevators and between them a white piano. Just in front of the piano she saw a circular area which marked the exact middle of the ship. There were comfortable chairs and small tables displayed around the tilled floor and waiters served coffees and cookies to the passengers.

The lobby bar was on the port side and no wonder passengers loved to sit by the big windows having a coffee, chatting or reading a book while the waves raced right outside the big windows.

She made half a turn and admired the two beautiful spiral staircases with marble steps. On the top, hanging from the ceiling, a beautiful round big lamp made of stained glass completed a portrait of beauty and elegance. She could see why people enjoying cruising so much. The ship was amazing, even with all the rocking.

That afternoon in the medical center Keira walked in complaining about the smell of vomit.

"Days like this I hate my job." She said. "Can you imagine what it is to belong to the hit squad?"

"The hit squad? That's the group of guys who clean vomit all over the ship, right?" Sofia asked.

"Yes. Can you imagine doing that for a living?" Keira muttered throwing her blue rubber gloves into the metal bin.

"Someone has to do it."

"Some lives suck more than others!" Keira replied theatrically.

"That's deep."

"Talking about deep, tomorrow I'm going on a tour to the Delta of the Mekong. That will make me deeply happy."

Starting to be interested, Sofia dropped her notepad on the table and looked at the nurse with interest. "Really? How did you work that out? Can I go?"

"I don't think you can get on this one anymore. It's sold out. In the future, get the brochures from the tour office in the beginning of the cruise and ask to go as an escort on the tours you fancy. As long as they have availability I'm sure you'll get a ticket. I'll introduce you to the tour office manager, Natalie. She's just joined the ship and lucky for us she's wonderful."

"That's cool. Do we have to pay?"

"Normally they give us the tickets for free. There are very few exceptions. I only had to pay for one helicopter tour in Alaska so far. In the end you fill a report, kind of like an evaluation of the tour so they know how it went, if the level is the expected, how the guide performed and so on." Keira clarified.

"Well, that makes it up for the stupid internet prices."

"Yes. Internet costs a fortune, but drinking and smoking is cheap. Welcome onboard!"

"I've noticed. Any other strange things I should know?"

"Heaps of them, but I don't want you to miss the fun of finding out by yourself. It's part of ship's training." Keira left with a foolish smile and a very pale lady sat on the chair and started telling the doctor how surprised she was with the fact that a ship so big could rock so much and that if she had known she wouldn't book the cruise and how horrible the Captain was because he wouldn't slow down the ship.

Sofia bit her tongue to avoid laughing, prescribed her Dramamine and sent her to her cabin to have a rest. She was sure the moment they arrived ashore she wouldn't remember her complaints anymore.

Before dinner, Sofia entered the wardie just on time to get the last available seat next to Denise. There were a few other faces she remembered from the day before, but most of them were completely unknown or at best difficult to remember. People in uniforms all looked the same to her. Diego was in the same location of the previous day, playing darts with his friends. Denise and Amy interrupted their conversation about crew lists and landing orders to welcome the doctor.

"So, you're from Switzerland. I studied there." Sofia told her new friend after reading her nationality in the name badge.

"Is that so?"

"I was born in Portugal and lived there until I was 16. My parents got a nasty divorce and my mom wanted me away from dad's influence so she used the quality of the Swiss schools as an excuse to get me out of there while they fought mostly over money but also for me and my brother. After Switzerland I moved to England where my mother remarried and I went to college in Cambridge. When I completed the internship it felt like a good time for a change so I took a job in a hospital in Dublin. That was my last home before I came here." Sofia explained avoiding getting into much detail.

Amy looked at her with wonder and though about herself years before when she worked in six different countries in 3 years teaching English and living out of a suitcase.

Sofia ordered a beer to keep her stomach busy for a little longer. Amy left after being paged by her husband, who was on watch on the bridge, and suddenly half the people disappeared leaving the place almost empty.

"Dinner time." Denise confirmed, guessing her thoughts.

"Should we go for dinner too?" Sofia asked, feeling a bit hungry.

"Let's just wait a bit for the boys. Diego and Ian are going to get attached to that stupid board one of these days."

"What's the story with the two of you?" Sofia asked curious to know how onboard relationships worked.

"We've been together for just over a month and so far so good but I'm a bit apprehensive. Ship's relationships normally only last until someone goes home and I've been telling myself that I can handle that but I'm not so sure anymore."

Sofia took a sip of the beer. "Are you in love with him?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out. After this few weeks we've been together I don't know what to call it yet, but it's not just an attraction anymore and that's scaring me."

Sofia chuckled. "Does he feel the same way about you?"

"I have no idea and I don't want to ask. I'm just letting it go for the moment. When I don't know what to do I wait and maybe a light will turn on somewhere in my brain although I'm almost sure all the bulbs are broken at the moment." Denise explained in a rather comical way.

A lot of people arrived in khaki uniforms and suddenly the wardroom felt very small again. Sofia was introduced to a few officers, whose names she would never remember without the precious help of the name tags. It started to feel almost normal to be there and a couple of invitations for drinks in the crew bar and corridor parties came up from different people.

Her thoughts flew to Ireland and returned almost immediately. Kieran was not here, and that was a good thing. She had to keep in mind to have a good time onboard. That had been the point of joining the ship.

Just when they decided to stand up, Diego lost the game making the scores even and demanded another game to find a winner. Denise looked at him annoyed and he ignored her. The girls sat down again waiting patiently.

"If he comes up with one more game I swear I'm going for dinner without him." Denise protested.

"Boys and their toys!" Sofia nodded. "Listen, I've wanted to ask but yesterday I forgot. Where can I buy some bottles of water? The one from the tap tastes like bleach."

"I'll give you a couple but in two days there's a cambusa and you can order a few boxes."

"What in the world is a cambusa?" Sofia asked, pretty sure she had never heard that word before.

"It's a beverage sale. They do it for the crew once a cruise. You can order water, sodas and alcoholic drinks. Just write one of the checks the steward leaves in your cabin, put your account number so they can charge you and leave it on your desk. Your steward will pick them up from the storage area and leave them in your cabin afterward."

"I suppose that's another officer thing, right?"

"Everyone can go to cambusa, but only the officers get stewards to bring the orders to their cabins. The others either queue to get their drinks or they have to pay someone to do it for them."

Sofia added that information to her now long list of important stuff and felt sorry for the crew members who didn't get the same perks that she did. Wouldn't it be a sight to live in a world where everyone was treated the same?

# 3

They were docked in Vietnam. Sofia had five hours to do whatever she liked but she didn't have a clue where to go. Ho Chi Min City was three hours away by bus so that one was out of the question. Denise and Mary were working, Keira was on her tour and Carla was still in the process of recovering from last night's party. Being new onboard, the list of friends was not that wide yet, so the options for company were very limited.

The best thing, according to the gangway staff, was to take the shuttle bus to Vung Tau, the nearest town. The trip took almost one hour through a depressing yet somehow beautiful landscape that showed the clear signs of devastation caused by a hurricane just a few months earlier. The country was undoubtedly very poor and had never recovered completely from the war. Most houses Sofia saw were not much better than huts and the lack of cables hanging from poles suggested electricity hadn't found its way to many of the villages.

The cars circulating on the narrow road were also very old and falling apart. Most people didn't seem to be able to afford a car so they drove noisy little scooters instead. Looking out the dirty window of the oldest bus she had ever been in, Sofia concluded it would be a beautiful country if they had the means to keep it. According to the driver they were happy enough when the means allowed them to put food on the table and send their children to school.

Just as they approached Vung Tau, Sofia saw an old machine gun on a tripod decorating the top of a small blue house: a memory from times that no one wanted to remember and still no one could really forget.

The landscape of deserted land splashed by an old tree here and there gave turn to a few houses and then to many more until they arrived in the urban area. The bus slowed down in what looked like the main street and then took a turn into the front yard of a local hotel. The driver with a very thick accent instructed everyone about the returning times and as the crowd stepped past the hotel gates they were immediately approached by local vendors eager to sell their hats, robes and other souvenirs for whatever dollars they could get.

Sofia bought a silky robe with a dragon embroidered on the back and a straw hat like the ones the locals used. She put the hat on her head trying to make it a warning that she already had her shopping done but the gesture had the opposite effect and suddenly a group gathered around her looking to sell more stuff. It took her a few minutes to make them to lose interest and move to the next person.

Sofia had been in a couple of Asian countries before and the chaotic traffic was nothing new, but it was always impressive to see the hundreds of scooters going in every possible direction with no respect for rules or logic and still, they always managed to stop before hitting each other. She took some pictures and another group gathered around her, this time to pose for the camera. She walked up and down the road only to get to the conclusion that there was very little to do in Vung Tau. She found the beach but the tide was so low that many small boats were left on land.

According to her port guide, Vung Tau used to be the beach destination for the rich and famous in Saigon, but it didn't look much like it anymore. A short walk took her to a few temples and pagodas, not particularly impressive for someone who had been to Nepal not that long ago.

Near the hotel where the bus stopped there was a funky looking restaurant with orange walls, the shape of a mushroom and a nice yard covered by trees that provided a cool shade. She found a lot of crew-alike people having drinks there. Sofia sat on her own by one of the tables and bought a can of diet coke. In less than two minutes a tall blond man in his early thirties, wearing stylish Ray-Ban glasses a white t-shirt and jeans made himself invited and joined her. She remembered seeing him somewhere but people without uniforms and name tags were hard to identify and she couldn't figure out where she knew him from.

"Hi doc. How are you? Remember me? Aaron, computer officer from Australia."

She was glad he said that before she had to ask. "Hi. You were playing darts with Diego last night weren't you?" She remembered suddenly.

"Yes. I kicked his ass after you left! He wants revenge tonight." Aaron answered proudly, flashing his beautiful perfectly lined white teeth and Sofia laughed out loud thinking that men never really grow up.

"First time on ships?" He asked.

"Is that very obvious?"

"Just a little. Don't worry, you'll feel at home in no time. As soon as we get to Sydney if you want I can give you a tour. It's my hometown." He offered.

"Nice. I'll remember that. You must be excited to go home." She said, trying to come up with some pep talk. Silence bothered her.

He nodded. "Yes. My family and friends want to see the ship more than they want to see me, but it will be cool to be there again."

More people arrived and before she knew it, Sofia was making friends with three waiters from the Philippines, a Canadian photographer, or photog like they called him, a Chilean production assistant, a couple of Romanian bartenders and a Bulgarian engineer.

"How many nationalities work onboard?" She was puzzled with the diversity.

"About fifty different nationalities. We have 1100 crew members from all over the world." Aaron replied.

"Wow, that's amazing. And they all get along?"

"They have to. If there are fights the reward is a flight home the next port. No job, no money. We live in each other's pockets but there is a boundary everyone has to respect."

Sofia smiled in amazement. "Someone should teach that lesson to the political leaders in this world."

"Political leaders have access to guns, ma'. We don't!" One of the waiters replied.

The conversation ran smoothly and in a short period of time she learned that one of the Filipino waiters was unhappy because his roommate snored like a truck going uphill, the Canadian photographer used foul language like a child uses sugar in cereal and the Bulgarian engineer was very tired because he had been working twelve hour cycles and only slept four hours at a time, which messed up his body to the point he never knew if it was day or night. Another waiter added that his back was not in good condition because his child size bed was not big enough for him and he couldn't even sit on it because his head would hit the board of the above bunk bed.

"Come on people. Stop complaining. Sofia might get the wrong impression about life at sea." Aaron requested courteously.

"Wait, I still haven't told her that my roommate's socks smell like dead animals." Someone added and everyone giggled.

The time with the other crew had been the best part of her day and Sofia was glad for her little trip ashore. When they returned she realized there were a number of local vendors selling souvenirs and pirated movies right by the ship. They really didn't miss a chance to do business, she thought as she observed the number of people, crew and passengers alike, browsing through the vendor's tables.

* * *

Denise and Benjie closed the crew office window to the public and returned to their desks to continue with their other assignments. Amy was looking at her computer, working out rotations for the ship's next turnaround which was approaching dangerously fast. She liked being organized and planning ahead; it made her life easier and she got everything done faster.

The piano tune Benjie played on his computer speakers gave Denise a shiver. He didn't notice because his thoughts were far away in the Philippines, with his wife and the twins. It would be another three months before he could see his family again. Joel and Alex were growing fast. They were about to start school and dad wouldn't be there to take them on their first day, to help them with homework or to play football on weekends. Dad was on a big white ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean earning the money to send them to good schools so that one day the boys could be smart and educated. Maybe life wouldn't be as hard for them. Perhaps in a few years' time, when Joel and Alex were older, they would no longer have to fill diminished because they were born in the beautiful city of Cebu. In the future maybe Benjie's sons could get a job and be paid the same salary as people from other countries that do the same job, despite their passports. If that ever happened, he would be sure that his sacrifices had been worth it and if it didn't, then at least as a father, he had done the best he knew for his children and that had to count for something.

The next tune was a song that Denise knew very well, something that she used to play. The music made her feel like she had just swollen broken glass. Her hands automatically landed on the white desk and her fingers move softly, playing an imaginary piano. She closed her eyes for a moment, going back to the time when the ivory keys were a natural extension of her hands.

Her memory took her to the days when playing was the apex of her happiness. Everybody used to love listening to her music, Louis especially. He was her number one fan, always there to clap. Everything was so easy back then. And it was all over so quickly. In six months it was all gone, the piano, Louis...

"Denise, are you okay?" Benjie asked.

She woke up from daydreaming. "Yes, I'm all right."

"You were playing on the table." He observed.

"I guess I got carried away by the music."

"Do you play piano?"

"I used to."

"And you don't play anymore?" He enquired.

"I haven't played in a while."

"Why?" He asked like that was the strangest thing she could possibly say.

"Long story. Nothing I want to remember right now."

"If you can play, you should always play. Music is a gift. It makes people happy."

Denise chuckled and his words kept repeating in her mind for a long time after the conversation was over. Music is a gift. Music is a gift... How could she have forgotten that?

Amy's voice brought her back to reality a bit later. "I'm leaving. Are you staying in the office?"

"I'll give it a few more minutes."

"Are you still working?" Amy asked, looking at the computer screen where a screen saver displayed images of the Great Wall of China.

"No. I'm done with work but I have a few things I need to think about. It's silent here, good place to think."

"Sure. Don't forget to turn on the alarm and lock the door when you leave," she paused and brushed her hand on Denise's shoulder, "and if you feel like talking about whatever is bothering you so much, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Amy. You're a great friend."

Amy made her way forward and took the elevator up to deck 14. She inserted the keycard in the door of the cabin she shared with her husband: their little piece of home. Robert was working. Amy sat on the bed and looked outside. The sun was descending, giving the ocean a sheen liquid gold color.

For years Amy had tried to explain the reason why there was something about the ocean that she needed so much. It certainly had nothing to do with sunny beaches, snorkeling, diving or having a holiday house by the sea. It was that feeling of being on the edge of infinity not knowing what's next.

However, it was Robert and not the deep blue waters that kept her onboard for longer than she had expected. It was getting hard to cope. Having to negotiate with head office all the time to make sure they could get on the same ship every contract, Robert extending his four month contract so he could stay longer and Amy having to shorten hers so they could have holidays together.

She moved to a chair by the window so she could get a better view of the outside. Amy felt very tired. Tired of the instability, tired of not knowing what tomorrow would bring, tired of never feeling at home, tired of not being able to do what she wanted when she wanted. She was well aware that all freedom is limited, but some freedoms are a lot more limited than others.

* * *

Sofia noticed how time flies onboard, especially on rocking sea days when a lot of people got sick before they obtained the famous "sea legs" that everybody was supposed to have after a few days.

The extra days at sea gave her the opportunity to learn a very important lesson: the difference between being a three stripe officer and a regular crew member.

The stripes on her shoulders allowed for a lot of things, including using most passenger areas, which could be very handy. Going to the gym, the Spa and the buffet were just some of the perks. There were also crew discounts for the Spa and the shops, officers could watch shows in the theaters, have meals in the Italian restaurant and the Steakhouse and go to passenger's parties and bars at the same cost that the passengers paid.

After a few conversations with colleagues Sofia realized most crew members received a completely different treatment, severely segregated by department, rank and nationality. Officers and crew with officer equivalence were on the top of the chain, being entitled to a lot of deck privileges, such as being served food from the passenger's menu in the exclusive officer's mess, having a separate bar only for them, a room steward, a private room and a few other things that come with the rank. After that came the ones who enjoy some deck privileges, like the shop assistants, photographers, the Spa staff and a few more that, not being officers were still entitled to some amenities.

In the bottom of the list were all the others, the majority of the crew: cleaners, housekeeping, galley staff, bar staff, waiters, deck attendants and many more that performed all kinds of different jobs onboard. Many never had the opportunity to see the public areas of a ship. They were the ones who lived in tiny cabins shared between two or four crew members, on deck 2 and 3, under the water level and without natural light. They had no deck privileges or of any sort. The only facilities they could use were the ones located in crew areas, and there were not many of those because ships are made to be enjoyed by passengers, not crew. The food served to those crew members in the crew mess was horrible, the entertainment available was limited to a few parties in the crew bar where everybody got drunk and once in a while there was a crew barbeque. Their contracts varied from six months to sometimes a year, depending mostly on nationality, and average they worked twelve hours a day without ever getting a day off during the entire contract.

When Sofia enquired with Denise why people accepted to be treated so unfairly, the explanation gave her a very clear picture of the real world. For those workers from countries like the Philippines, India and Thailand where salaries were miserable and the conditions were poor, being onboard was the smaller of two evils. On the ship they had free accommodation, free food and clean uniforms. The company also paid for their flights and life onboard was inexpensive for anyone with a bit of a brain, which gave them a way to save money and provide for their families at home. If they were in those countries in a normal job their families would be very poor. Instead, they sacrificed their time and their freedom so that their families could do better.

Sofia started to understand that working on a cruise ship was not only like working in another world; it was more like working in a place where several different worlds coexist together.

Going to the gym with Denise after work became a daily routine. It was good to keep in shape and decompress from stress.

"Hi. You don't look too happy." Sofia noticed as soon as Denise walked out the door.

"I'm not happy at all. From tomorrow on my happy days on this vessel are officially over." Denise replied. She walked with a slow pace, carrying the mp3 player and a big bottle of water.

"Why?"

"Because tomorrow I become front desk supervisor. I'll tell you the details when we go for dinner. Right now I need to release this negative energy on a treadmill before I actually turn violent."

The sun was setting when they arrived in the gym and since it was almost dinner time the place was not busy. Passengers always gave priority to food. Actually, sometimes Sofia was under the impression that passengers came onboard to eat.

The gym had a round shape in the front of the ship, right after the Spa, and tall, wide, glass windows provided a stunning view of the ocean. The sea was much calmer than that morning, the sky was bright orange and angry or not, even Denise enjoyed the stunning view.

The treadmills and cross runners were in the front, overlooking the deep blue water.

They had a good workout and after that, even though physically tired, Denise showed signs of a better mood and by the time they finished she managed a shy smile.

The food court was also on deck 15 but all the way to the back. Sofia found it annoying having to go to her cabin on deck 4, take a shower and change into the uniform only to go back to deck 15 again to get some food because after nine o'clock in the evening the officers' mess was closed. She became even more frustrated when she saw that the dancers could go wherever they wanted in their own clothes and Denise ironically mentioned that was not the only benefit of being a dancer.

Since they arrived so late most people were gone and the food court was a quiet peaceful place where a meal could be enjoyed in privacy. A few waiters wandered around cleaning tables. The walls were decorated with paintings from Mediterranean landscapes and Sofia recognized Venice on one wall and Portofino on the other.

It was also Italian night on the menu and they picked up plates with prosciutto, melon, mozzarella cheese and cherry tomatoes. Sofia poured some minestrone soup into a bowl and took a plate with strawberries she hoped tasted as good as they looked.

Most tables were free and they took a window seat in the very back where the only thing they could see outside was the white foam of the waves battering the side of the ship. Further away a few tiny lights here and there announced the presence of other vessels in the quiet waters of the Singapore Sea. Just a couple of miles starboard another cruise ship sailing on a parallel route was glowing in the darkness like a delicate floating jewel.

"So, do you want to tell me what you were talking about earlier?" Sofia asked.

"I was sent to be front desk supervisor because Leah, who is the front office manager, heard me saying I don't like that job and she is a bitch so she requested for me to do it. Now not only I have to do something I hate, I also have her as my direct supervisor. The woman obviously doesn't like me so you can imagine what it's going to be like working next door to her."

"Why doesn't she like you? You're such a nice person." Sofia was genuinely surprised.

"Thanks, but with Leah things are complicated. She doesn't even like herself so her feelings for others are unclear. Leah is massive, I mean, she's fatter than many of the passengers and that's not easy. She's not pretty at all and I heard a few people saying that being so unhappy is what makes her so unpleasant. I never had a chance to talk to her about it so I don't know if it's true. When I first met her, I actually had a good impression and it never crossed my mind she could have any issues with me. She was friendly, treated me nicely and I never imagined what a backstabbing bitch she would turn out to be. One day we were with a group at dinner and I mentioned that I don't like the front desk because some passengers are horrible and they complain about everything and that I was really happy in the crew office. She didn't say a word but two weeks later Amy, who was my supervisor and also happens to be the nicest person on this ship, called me and gave me the bad news. Leah had decided in a meeting that I should swap jobs with Diego. Since she has been on this ship forever, Leah gets away with whatever she wants. Amy tried to make her change her mind because all together I was only in the crew office for two months and it wasn't fair to make me leave so soon, but she insisted and that was it. According to the gossip Leah envies me. I'm pretty and elegant so she's going to make sure I'm unhappy. Misery loves company!" Denise enlightened her friend.

"Oh, I've seen her a few times. She can barely fit in the chair at dinner. When I saw her I thought she had a metabolic disease or something like that." Sofia replied.

"I don't know why she is so fat. The receptionists say it's a punishment for being mean. I know it's not a nice thing to say and I do put them off when they say it in front of me, but I must admit they have a point."

Sofia finished her soup and tried a strawberry. A bridge officer passed by on his way out and gave them an indecipherable glance. The girls grimaced and resumed their conversation once he was out of sight.

"So, what can this Leah do that affects your work so much?"

"I'm not sure yet, but being my supervisor there are many ways to make my life difficult. If she doesn't like me, but specifically requests me to work with her, what other reason can there be?" Denise shrugged.

"Maybe you're right, but take it easy. It might not be that bad after all. What about the job itself, is it hard?"

"Hard is not the right word. It is more like mentally insane. Let's just say that in the pursers department the only thing worse than being a front desk supervisor is being a receptionist. I'm going to be responsible for the most unhappy and frustrated people on my department, probably onboard."

"Why is that?" Sofia wondered.

"The job is not technically difficult but dealing with passengers can be a nightmare. Some of them treat the receptionists worse than they would treat a dog with the plague. They are rude and abusive and they think that because they paid for a cruise they are entitled to say whatever comes to their minds. The complaints are the worst part of it. Every time a receptionist comes to my office I know there is trouble coming. To give you an idea of how passengers treat us, a cruise director once gave me the best description I can remember; he said that passengers spend the first twenty five years of their lives learning manners, the next twenty five years teaching manners to their children and after that they don't know what to do with manners anymore so they come on a cruise." She elucidated.

"Do they complain that much?" Sofia asked conjectured if it was that bad or if her friend's foul mood was making her see things bigger than they actually were.

Denise understood that someone who had never done the job could have a completely different perspective. "They complain like you wouldn't believe it! On turnaround day the ones disembarking moan all morning long because their bills are bigger than expected and they don't remember having all those drinks that they actually signed for. Then the ones embarking complain because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and their bags are not yet in the room, even though we are distributing six thousand pieces of luggage and the ship doesn't sail until that evening. Then some of them will come down and complain because the airline lost their bags and of course that's our problem because if we don't locate the bags their holiday is ruined. I normally spend the first two days of the cruise looking for luggage.

"We also get all the upgrade hunters bugging us because the room they paid for is not good enough but of course they don't want to pay extra for a better room and even if we're full they expect us to pull a suite out of our hats. Towards the evening we start getting complaints about dinning arrangements: they want another dining room, or another waiter, or a table by the window, or a table big enough for all their friends to sit with them, you name it. And that's only embarkation day."

Sofia chuckled. "I'm sorry; I know it's not supposed to be funny, but in a way, it is."

Denise couldn't help it and started laughing too. "Well, since crying about it makes wrinkles I guess it's better to pretend it's a joke and have a laugh on the account of our beloved passengers. We have a love and hate relationship with them, but the truth is, they pay our salaries." She muttered.

"I hope they're not all that bad."

"No. Most passengers are actually great. But we don't meet those because they are busy enjoying their holidays. We get left with the stupid, ignorant, obnoxious and rude ones."

The last table on the other side of the wide room became empty and the two friends were left completely alone. Denise went to get more food and Sofia appreciated the dark night for a little while until her friend returned. "What was the most stupid comment that you can remember?" She asked when Denise came back with a plate of tiramisu big enough for both of them.

"I could write a book about stupid comments and complaints. For example, a couple of years ago when we were cruising the British Isles, sailing out of Southampton, one turnaround day we were still doing embarkation with the ship obviously docked in port when a guy called from deck 11 furious, complaining that he had paid for an ocean view cabin and all he could see was a parking lot!"

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious; I was right next to the girl who got that call. And that's not even close to be the worst I've heard. One of my friends in the tour office once told me a story about a man who complained because he had booked a tour to the Loch Ness Lake and the monster didn't show up. Until he asked for his money back my friend though he was just kidding, but the idiot insisted that he wanted a refund because he didn't see the monster."

Sofia had tears in her eyes from laughing so much, trying to imagine the passenger telling everybody that the monster didn't show up for his tour.

Enjoying the effect of the stories on her friend Denise went on. "The Hotel Secretary on my last contract received a comment by the end of the cruise saying something like Your TV sucks. Have you thought about cable? I still tried to call the passenger who wrote it to ask how many miles of cable he believed we should attach to the ship but he was gone."

"You know, I was told that cruise ship passengers often forget to pack their brains but I thought it was a figure of speech."

"It is very literal, but then it is their lack of sense that gives us some amusement. One of these days I'll tell you a few more stories. I actually have an entire wall of them in my office."

Sofia nodded in agreement. "Do you have time off tomorrow?"

"Me? I don't know what that is anymore. Tomorrow I'm too busy and we dock too far from the city center. I can't go ashore."

"I'm sorry for that. I heard Singapore is great. Carla and I have a few hours to spare so we're going for a walk and to get lunch. It would be great if you could come with us." Sofia told her with an exaggerated sad face.

"I wish I could, but it's not going to happen." Denise replied with regret, realizing she wouldn't be able to leave the ship after spending four days in a row at sea.

Back in her cabin, Sofia had a quick look at her emails and found one from Kieran, asking where she was and why she had left like that. She typed a brief reply.

Dear Kieran. Remember what you told me when I asked you why you decided to be a surgeon? You said you wanted to give people their lives back.

What about getting your own life back? Shouldn't that be your priority? How can you give others something you don't have?

Love, Sofia

Some people learn easily, others take time. Sofia didn't see giving someone time as a gesture of abandonment. She thought of it as a gesture of love. Sofia relied on Kieran's good sense to understand that. People who are very smart often fail to see the most basic things right in front of them. When told about it, they are frequently too proud to admit it. Pride is only good until it becomes stupidity. Hopefully, Kieran would wake up before he reached that level. She didn't want to start thinking about her choices if he didn't think things through. It had never been that hard for her to leave a guy before, but she had never loved anyone like that before either. This time it was different. Sofia felt she was betting her own heart and there were no guarantees the results would live up to her expectations.

The idea that things could take a wrong turn sent a shiver down her spine. That was something she definitely didn't even want to think about. Losing Kieran temporarily for a good reason was bearable. Losing him forever was painful beyond her imagination.

A day hadn't passed without her considering that option. What would she do if? What does one do when plans fail? Would she return to Ireland and try to fix things or follow logic instead of her heart and move on?

# 4

One suspect of food poisoning, two not-so-bad colds and one crew member with gastro that required quarantine for twenty four hours were the highlights of Sofia's morning. Nothing very exciting from a medical point of view. After just over one week onboard she felt a little like one of those doctors who sit in the office and prescribe medication all day long. She tried not to think too much about it and focus on the time off in the ports. After all, it was only a four month contract and the life experience would certainly be worth is. The travelling was a great bonus.

She met Carla at the bottom of the gangway and they took a taxi to the city center. Carla had been in Singapore before and knew where to go. Sofia followed her into the jungle of skyscrapers. The day was warm and sunny, perfect for walking.

Singapore had a beautiful skyline and for an Asian city it was impressively clean and organized.

"So doc, anyone got your eye yet?" Carla asked casually while they walked along a busy street.

"What?"

"Guys. Anyone you find interesting onboard?"

Sofia chuckled. "Define interesting."

"Anyone you wouldn't mind to get your hands and eventually the rest of your body on." The nurse replied cheerfully.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I haven't found anyone that matches that description."

"No worries. You have plenty of time."

"Do you always play matchmaker?"

"What can I say? Life on board can be boring. No decent tabloids so we have to make our own thing."

Sofia laughed at the idea of replacing tabloid gossip with ship's gossip. "What about you? Your social life seems intense."

"I make the best of what I have. But having said that, I don't sleep with as much guys as you might hear. I like flirting but I am selective in what comes to action. Just FYI, you now, people can be very cruel onboard."

"You don't strike me like the kind of person who cares about what others think." Sofia observed.

"I don't ask for their opinion, but no one likes to hear lies or amplified truths going on behind their backs."

"I've never liked gossip so no worries."

Carla smiled in appreciation. It was good to be with someone who didn't prioritize being judgmental.

They started their city tour in Marina Bay, the water front area. Two strange looking buildings, the famous Esplanade theaters, caught their attention. They were placed next to each other right by the water and were shaped like enormous durian melons, a fruit famous for its bad smell. The entire park was gorgeous and sparkling clean.

After taking some pictures in front of a Chinese temple, a Hindu temple, the Arab street, a flea market and a few strange looking statues they returned to Marina Bay and found the famous fountain by the river promenade in the square across from the Fullerton Hotel. The Merlion, a statue with the head of a lion and a body of a fish spouted a powerful stream of water into the river.

Sofia and Carla took pictures of each other in front of the icon and then gave the camera to a tourist who photographed them together before they went for lunch.

"Don't you feel guilty that we are eating pizza in Asia?" Sofia enquired observing the surroundings from their table in the boardwalk.

"Of course not! Pizza is bread, tomato sauce, cheese and more toppings if you like. I don't trust the local food. God knows what they put in the plates. Do you see any dogs or cats around here?" She smirked.

"Never mind. You're helpless. Tell me, the ship docks in the morning and leaves late afternoon, which only gives people a few hours in each port. That doesn't seem enough to see a place, right?"

Carla took another bite before she answered. "They have to make choices of where they really want to go and stick to that. Some of them have been in these ports before but they enjoy cruising so they keep returning. For the ones who are visiting for the first time at least it's a way to find out if they will want to go back one day. There are some good tours people can take to go to the most remarkable places, take some pictures and show them to their friends, more or less like what we just did. This is a bad cruise for crew because it's repositioning. We only do these ports once on the way down from Asia. As soon as we start regular cruising in Australia and New Zealand it will be great because we do the same ports every cruise and even if you miss the chance to go out one day, next cruise we'll be there again." Carla explained.

"When we arrive in New Zealand I need to get an All Blacks t-shirt for my friend Ailish. I'm not sure who the All Blacks are but she said something about rugby." Sofia murmured.

Carla looked at her incredulously. "How can you not know who the All Blacks are? They are the New Zealand national rugby team, famous worldwide. They are like heroes for any rugby fan."

"I know I'm a bit ignorant in what comes to that kind of stuff but hey, I know the names of every bone in the human body..."

"So do I. And I still know who the All Blacks are. We'll be in Christchurch, their home town. You'll find something there for sure. And please, do yourself a favor: when we are in New Zealand pretend you know who the All Blacks are and pretend you like them. The locals are very fond of their team." Carla suggested, teasing.

"I'll put that on my agenda. Talking about it, we need to go. What happens if we miss the ship?" Sofia asked squinting at her watch.

"First the port agent will get us flights to the next port and then we have to pay the flights and the hotel. We won't get paid for the time off and depending on the excuse we come up with they will decide if we should be fired or not. If both doctors fail to embark the ship can't sail. Did you know the ship can sail without a captain but not without a doctor?"

"I think Ryan mentioned something like that when I arrived."

"That's it. No medical assistance, no sailing. She stays in port and that can cost millions, so make sure you get that pretty ass back onboard before they collect the gangways." Carla said with exaggerated authority.

"Yes mom!" Sofia replied with a grin as they picked up their bags and called a taxi to get them to the port.

The two friends found a gigantic queue at both gangways. Crew were directed to the amidships but since passengers wouldn't find it funny if crew skipped the line, everybody had to wait for their turn and Sofia nearly arrived late because by the time everyone in front of her punched their cards in the machine and went through security they had been waiting for twenty minutes.

The good thing in port days was that people were too busy to get sick and the ones that looked for medical help actually needed it. In two hours the medical center didn't get many patients but at least the ones coming down in the afternoon were interesting enough to compensate for the boring morning. One leg infection that turned into a medical disembarkation straight to a hospital, a kid with a very high fever that was kept in observation to make sure treatment worked, a cook with a burnt hand after touching a hot spot in the oven and a dancer with a sprained ankle who would not be able to perform for a few days.

"You're sitting in the wardie instead of being in the gym and that thing in your glass smells like vodka. Does that mean you had a crappy day?" Sofia studied Denise's face carefully.

"Yes, I did. Is it that obvious?" She muttered.

"It is to me. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Sure, why not? You're the only person who listens to me anyway." Denise replied looking wryly at Diego who was drinking and playing with his friends and not giving any attention to his lonely girlfriend.

"Thanks, I guess..." Sofia took a seat next to her.

"You know what I mean. The only good thing today was that Leah ignored me all day. On the other hand I found out I have a very interesting team of receptionists. I can tell you right away I would love to send half of them home and get them replaced with some people who wouldn't mind to do some work."

"Are they really that promising?"

Denise sighed. "They are perfect for anything except work. And I spent half an hour at the front desk today arguing with a group of passengers who made a fuss because someone in Singapore didn't take their American dollars and of course we need to do something about that. And we're getting a lot of people cancelling tips this cruise."

Sofia knew there was a tipping system on ships but she didn't understand how it worked so Denise told her that an amount is charged every day to each passenger's account and that money is used to pay the accommodation and the dining room departments, who don't receive normal salaries. There is a minimum amount the company guarantees every cruise, which is very low and then everything else they earn comes exclusively from tips. By the end of each cruise the money goes to a pool and gets divided according to rank. Since tipping is not compulsory, in long cruises where it becomes a lot of money for the passengers to pay, many withdraw the charges or reduce them to much less, leaving the crew with nearly nothing.

"But these people who cancel the tips, don't they end up tipping personally anyway?" Sofia enquired, having a better idea of how the system worked.

"A lot of them give money to their waiter or their room steward, but they don't tip the ones that don't serve them directly, like the night cleaners, the public area cleaners, buffet stewards and so on. A lot of people who receive money from the gratuity pool never get to be with the passengers. If the tips are less, what they get paid for three weeks of work is nothing. And remember that the big money goes to the big people first. The buffet stewards who work twelve hours a day for example, get paid very little in comparison with a head waiter or even just a waiter." Denise explained with a pang of anger in her voice.

They ordered another drink and Sofia tried to make sense of the information she was getting. The entire scheme was not logical to someone with education and principles, and still the people who came up with those ideas were supposed to have a superior education. Sofia wondered if they had spent years in college to study the best way to take advantage of the ones in need. "That's very unfair. Why doesn't the company compensate them for bad cruises then?" She asked.

"Because this is a dog-eat-dog world!" Denise said bitterly. "Cruise lines save millions every month in salaries by using this system. The passengers pay for the cruise and they also pay for a good percentage of the crew's salaries. These crew members signed a contract and agreed to take the chances. Do you think anyone in head office cares if a few unhappy Filipinos or Indians go home? There will be another thousand waiting to replace them the next day. Crew members are numbers. All it matters is profit. But then, if I can still remember things were more or less the same ashore. Here we just notice it more because it is right on our faces."

Sofia could see the difference between ranks intensifying as time passed and understood a bit better the things she had been told on her fist days onboard. She knew there couldn't be any sense in a world with no justice but justice wasn't in her hands. It never had been and she suspected it would never be. She had learned to accept what she couldn't change and no longer felt a coward for that.

"Time for a different subject. You're getting too depressed for my taste." The doctor said sympathetically.

"Sorry for my bad mood. I'm not having a happy day. Maybe I'll have a happy night to balance it out. That is if my selfish boyfriend ever gets his eyes of that stupid wall and remembers I exist."

"Let me give you a tip before you come up with any more adjectives to describe Diego: you looking that unhappy won't turn him on." Sofia told her.

"What do you want me to do? Pretend that I'm happy? Acting is not one of my talents."

Instead of answering Sofia rose, took a few steps and whispered something to Diego's hear, leaving Denise wishing for a big hole to hide as he smiled and winked at her.

"What did you tell him?" Denise asked suspiciously as soon as Sofia came back to her seat.

"I told him his girlfriend had a bad day and needs a good night to make it up." Sofia replied and ignored the indignation on her friend's face.

"I can't believe you did that." She muttered.

"Look, men are not farsighted. The only time they understand body language is when you're naked in front of them and even then sometimes you need to be lucky. If you want something from them, just ask, preferably with simple, small, clear words." Sofia explained with a wicked grin.

"Still, you shouldn't have done that. What is he going to think of me now?"

"I don't believe he will be doing much thinking. You can thank me tomorrow." She finished talking when Diego arrived, took Denise's hand and lead her out of the room with a happy grin on his face.

Sofia returned to her empty cabin and spent the rest of the time left on her internet card. There was another email from Kieran asking the same as before. So much for being smart!

She knew she should email him back but chose not to. Shouldn't he already know the answers to his questions? For someone who opened people's chests and fixed them he should be capable of understanding human nature a little better, especially concerning the people he claimed to love. She wondered how he really was but it was too soon to ask. He needed more time to put himself together and needed that time alone, even if he didn't agree just yet.

Sofia looked around for a moment and examined the little space that was now her home, only in a home there is normally at least one more person. She missed having a family and missed Kieran more than anyone else. Nothing was the same without him.

Sofia hated being alone. As New Year knocked on the door she felt sorrow and emptiness piercing right through her. She knew that after a good night of sleep she would be able to see things clearly but that moment all she wanted was to pack her bags and go home. Tears clouded her eyes. She fought them back and focused on the fiction novel she was reading. She loved reading fiction because in the books there was always a happy ending. In real life things weren't that straightforward.

# 5

Everybody was extremely busy organizing the big party. It was New Year's Eve and the night had to be memorable. From the earlier hours in the morning, crew put in their best effort to prepare everything. The ship was sparkling clean and both production and cruise staff focused on decoration and sound effects for the parties in the atrium and the open decks. A big net with hundreds of colorful balloons was set up in the ceiling on deck 7, ready to be opened at midnight and let the balloons fall over the audience.

New Year's Eve was the only time the female crew members were allowed in passenger areas wearing their own dresses instead of the uniform, although they still had to wear a name badge.

Sofia had a plain sleeveless black dress she considered one of those essential items in any woman's closet. It could be used for almost anything. With silver high heels and sparkling earrings it was just perfect.

There was a special dinner with a different menu in the officer's mess. The evening meal was one of the nicest Sofia had experienced since her debut and for a few hours it really felt like home on the ship. Even the usually serious faces were smiling. The biggest surprise was Leah who arrived wearing a set of shirt and skirt in dark metal blue. She had her hair up, lovely makeup and a beautiful pair of pearl earrings. Despite her size, she looked really good. The smile suited her and made everyone feel comfortable and at ease in her presence. Sofia wondered why she didn't behave like that all the time.

Denise picked up a light blue dress that made her piercing blue eyes stand out and curled her blond hair. She felt sexy and sophisticated and was glad she could wear her own clothes. Diego gave her an approval look that put a big smile on her face. Anne joined them wearing a long black skirt and a beautiful red top that not only suited her dark hair but it also matched her outgoing personality.

Aaron joined the group and around eight thirty they met a few more people on deck 5 by the lobby bar. They went from stand to stand and took group pictures with different scenarios. There was one with the famous staircase of the Titanic, another with a bright moonlight, one imitating the outside of the ship with the wooden railings and a bright orange buoy and also a plain white screen where everyone made creative poses.

They went up to deck 7 and started walking from the front, right by the doors of the main theater making a drinking stop on each bar. In one of the bars there was someone playing a piano in a corner and the group ordered some cocktails that Aaron insisted on paying. Once those drinks were gone they moved on, passing through the perfume and the jewelry shops. The next stop was the Adventurers Lounge, which had a bar with the shape of a half-moon at the entrance, a display of comfortable couches and small tables and then a stage where smaller shows took place every night. They had jugglers, comedians, magicians and games organized by the cruise staff.

Anne offered another round of cocktails. They started feeling light headed and the night was only just starting. Right after the photo gallery where the passengers could find the pictures that were taken during the cruise there was another theater style bar: Atmosphere. This one had a central stage surrounded by tables and chairs with different sizes and shapes but the decoration was a bit darker with wooden panels, smaller lights and western inspired paintings. There were big screens coming out of the ceiling and a DJ booth from where a production manager controlled the sound and lightning.

Denise bought another round of drinks and when they finished she declared herself officially drunk.

"Put me on that list too." Sofia added.

"I'm getting there." Anne claimed cheerfully.

"Girls!" Diego, Aaron and Ian said in unison, like by the rate they were consuming alcohol any of them would manage to stay sober much longer. A few more group pictures with everybody's cameras and they got out of there and went straight to the promenade deck through the wooden door that opened to the outside.

The ocean was a swirl of liquid coal. There were no lights outside except the moon, no stars, no other ships. The night was peaceful and quiet, and it was also chilly. They felt the salty scent of the ocean breeze filling their lungs with a fresh fragrance. The numbing wind that tumbled in with the waves didn't help Denise feel much better.

"I think we should stay here a little longer." She suggested.

"Why?"

"So we can get just a bit sober. I'm sure half an hour would make me feel less dizzy."

"Come on Denise. Where is your spirit of adventure?" Aaron teased.

"My spirit of adventure is drunk."

From deck 8 to deck 14 there were only passenger's cabins, so they took the elevator straight up and Ian decided to stop by the bridge and say hello to the deck officers. They stayed for a few minutes chatting with Andrea and Stephen and then took the stairs to the entrance of the Spa on deck 15. The area that was normally the fun daytime space with the pools, pizzeria, ice cream bar and grill was now fully decorated and ready for a massive party.

A band played Caribbean music above the pizzeria, on deck 16 and many passengers were already partying and dancing in their formal gowns, decorated by bright paper hats and big plastic glasses saying Happy New Year.

Against Denise's will they had another couple of drinks, which she wisely refused, saving what was left of her blood and liver for the remaining of the night. Sofia and Anne only had one more drink each, but the guys didn't seem to worry about how drunk they were going to get and kept pouring alcohol down their throats like there was no tomorrow.

By ten o'clock, someone thought about having a snack in the buffet. On the way up Sofia stopped by the kids' center on deck 16 and took a look inside through the glass doors.

"I guess being a kid onboard is a privilege." She said.

"Oh yes, they get all sorts of fun and games here." Aaron confirmed.

"Can we go inside?"

"No, you're not allowed. Only people under sixteen." Ian said in a joking tone and grabbed her arm to help her negotiate another flight of stairs up to the last point of the drinking tour: the Stardust Disco.

The night club was inspired in the stars, from the colorful carpets to the star shaped lamps in the ceiling. The best seats were the ones by the big windows and with the passengers partying everywhere else there were plenty of those available. Stardust was the type of venue that wouldn't be very busy until all the other parties were over.

"Wow, the view from here is amazing." Sofia observed admiring the glowing wake with its ethereal trail of phosphorescence left behind the ship.

"Beautiful, isn't it? I think this is the best view onboard."

"When I was night manager on my last contract I used to find passengers here doing Yoga on the dance floor at five or six o'clock in the morning." Denise remembered.

"Well, I found a few having sex on the couches after the bar closed when I was a night manager." Anne added and everyone laughed, as if everything related to sex was ultimately hilarious.

A few minutes before eleven and all very drunk, it was time to return to the atrium where a big crowd gathered, waiting for the cruise director to start his speech. Meanwhile the band played and a few people danced. There was no space to move much less for dancing, but they danced anyway and Sofia found herself dancing with Aaron who took advantage of the situation and held her tight beyond what she felt comfortable, so she swapped with Denise and danced with Diego, a much safer partner who didn't put his hands where they were not supposed to be and still made her laugh with his sad attempts to speak Portuguese.

By half eleven in the evening everyone approached the center to guarantee the best place for countdown. The deputy cruise director interrupted the band and took over the small round stage in the company of a passenger. A guy in his late twenties or early thirties who looked a bit embarrassed stood next to Eli, waiting nervously. Her voice echoed through the microphone and suddenly everyone stopped talking.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is a very special night for all of us, but we're expecting it will be even more special to this young man next to me. I'm going to pass the microphone to John and ask his girlfriend, Kelly, to come over here because he has something very important to tell her."

At that point everyone knew where that story was going but the silence remained with the audience waiting to see if the guy would be able to deliver a decent speech or if he was going to stutter on every word and make a fool of himself in front of the entire ship.

A pixie like young woman was now in front of him in a short green dress and if he looked nervous, she blushed like a ripe tomato. John got down on one knee holding a small black velvet box in his hand.

"Kelly, I love you, you are everything to me and all I want is a future with you. Will you marry me?" He asked nervously but without the stutter. The videographer was right next to him with the camera pointed at the girl.

"Yes, of course I will." She replied at once and jumped into his waiting arms. Two seconds later the ring was on her finger. John took a deep breath of relief and the band started playing again.

"Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy." Anne said, not too fond of that kind of public display.

"Totally agree with you, but what can we say? Some people like the public thing." Sofia nodded.

"Yes, Americans especially. If my boyfriend did that to me I would say no just to make a point."

"Which is why you don't get a date." Aaron replied dryly and Anne gave him a killer look.

Ten minutes before midnight the cruise director and the captain took their respective microphones and the real entertainment began. Sofia had only seen the captain briefly and it was a total surprise for her to observe how gifted he was with words and how much the passengers loved him. She heard some passengers saying that they only took that cruise because they knew he would be there. As the captain made jokes and told some interesting stories of his life time at sea the clock kept ticking until finally everyone started counting those last few seconds together:...5...4...3...2...1

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

A colorful cloud of balloons fell out of the ceiling, people kissed and hugged and said the famous words with a lot of noise. The band resumed playing. There was more dancing, more drinking, more happy smiles and a lot of drinking.

Sofia made a quick escape to her room with the excuse of going to the washroom and called Kieran's cell phone. There was no phone coverage and she used the satellite phone on her desk. It rang and rang with no reply. It was ten hours earlier in Dublin, he could be at work, maybe cutting someone open in the OR since the ill people don't take a break because the rest of the world is partying. She tried one more time and at the fourth ring someone answered.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice replied.

"Hi, it's Sofia. Just wanted to wish you a happy new year." She said, trying to find the right words in her inebriated mind.

"Sofia?!" He sounded very awake suddenly. "Sofia, where are you? Are you all right? For heaven's sake, where did you disappear to?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry." She soothed him, happy that he sounded concerned and not just upset.

"When are you coming back?" He asked anxiously. "I miss you."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'll go back when I know you are okay." She replied trying to keep calm, with her racing heart betraying her thoughts and tears threatening to ruin her makeup.

"Please, can you at least tell me where you are?"

"I just wanted to wish you a happy new year. I really hope it's better than the last one." She hung up feeling terrible about it and went back to her friends who had moved to deck 15 and were now dancing to the sound of a Caribbean band.

In the middle of crew and passengers dancing and laughing by the pool, she forgot how she was feeling and enjoyed the night. For a brief moment she closed her eyes and Kieran was there dancing with her. And then she opened her eyes and saw Aaron who was back in action and clearly determined not to go to bed alone. Diego saved her once again when he suggested everyone move to the crew bar, the only bar onboard where they hadn't been drinking yet.

Very discretely Sofia took off to her quiet and peaceful cabin with her head much heavier than it was supposed to be. She fell in bed and slept almost immediately.

* * *

Three days at sea and another one to go was a killer in every possible way. The many hours of work were not that bad, but the mental boredom was outrageous. Sofia felt like a wild animal trapped in a cage and couldn't wait to get to Darwin and step on land. The fact that the ship had been rocking a lot was not a great contribution for her happiness.

In the evening she had to go to the gym alone because Denise was in a back office meeting. Her body was tired and sore of working so much and instead of the usual jogging she went for a fast walk on a treadmill.

Denise arrived a while latter with her I-had-a-crappy-day face and turned on the machine right next to Sofia's.

"Don't tell me, the meeting was bad." Sofia guessed.

"I just spent one hour listening to Leah and Elaine, the first purser, telling off my entire team for things that are not going right."

"What's wrong with that?" Sofia asked, confused.

"The wrong is that they treat them like children and talk to everyone the same way and that's unfair. If someone is not performing well, they need to talk to that person in private, find out what's wrong and what they can do to make it right. If that still doesn't work then send the person home. That's what a good professional would do. Some of those receptionists are very good at their jobs. They know that, and being put on the same pile as everyone else only drives away their already low motivation. I have a team of people who mostly hate their jobs. Now Elaine decided to increase the number of hours they are working as a punishment, like they're in kindergarten. Of course I'll have to add hours to all the schedules, to the ones who do a great job and to those who are useless. Imagine how that will make them feel."

Sofia looked at her dumbfounded. "That's ridiculous. Can't you talk to anyone about it?"

"No. I have to endure and so do they. Elaine is best friends with Leah, so from that side I won't have any luck. I know Anne doesn't agree but she was recently promoted and she doesn't want to go against Elaine at this stage. The only person above them is the hotel director and he doesn't give a damn either."

"I'm really sorry for you and for your team, but stressing is not going to make it any better. Just enjoy as much as you can of the good things you still have onboard. Think about your friends and Diego." Sofia suggested, trying to cheer her up.

"That's another one. I must be a real idiot to be wasting my feelings on someone who is not willing to take a bit of his precious time and spend it with me." Denise hissed back.

"Why not?"

Denise increased a bit of the speed and started running and talking at the same time, which made her really tired but she didn't care.

"Diego has a routine. He wakes up and goes to work, goes for lunch and then takes a nap during his break. Occasionally he'll go out in a port but most times he stays onboard. At three o'clock he goes back to work and as soon as the afternoon shift is done he goes to the wardroom to play darts and have drinks with Ian, Aaron and whoever else shows up. At some point he'll remember to have dinner and eventually he'll go to bed which is the only bit of the day I have him for me, and that is if he doesn't decide to watch TV. In the rare occasions we go out in port together, there is always someone else. It's never just the two of us."

Sofia looked at her and saw her lowering the speed. "What about during the day? Do you ever spend time together? Do you talk?"

"Sometimes he calls me. Most times he calls Ian. Many times I'm in the back office and I hear them chatting on the phone." Denise said gloomily.

"Aren't you jealous?"

"It's not his fault that Diego doesn't give me the attention I need. Ian is a good friend."

After a few minutes of bad quality workout because none of them was really in the mood, they moved to the next room to do some stretching.

"So why do you put up with it then?" Sofia asked.

Denise did some Pilates exercises. "First because as much as I hate myself for being that stupid, I just found out a little too late that I'm in love with him, and second because even if I'm not happy with him I would be unhappier without him. I'm having a horrible contract and the very little Diego gives me makes it easier to bear. He's not the kind of boyfriend I would like to have and under any other circumstance I wouldn't put up with it, but I'm not ready to lose him yet. I know it sounds pathetic, but I can't survive until the end of my contract without him." She explained.

Sofia stopped stretching and sat looking at her friend's rueful gaze. "You sound like you know it's going to be over."

"I don't know for sure if it's going to be over and I don't want it to be because I'm in love with that bastard, but I'm not dumb. I know if he felt the same way about me he would be different. Most likely this is just one of those until the gangway tears us apart thing for him, and if I get out of it with a broken heart too bad. I don't really want to think about it right now. I'll deal with it when I have to." Denise responded with a sad voice.

Sofia didn't understand that at all. In her opinion if a relationship couldn't survive the long term it was simply not worth the time and energy on the short term either. She realized it was better not to share that opinion and upset her friend even more.

Eventually they stopped the workout that wasn't doing them much good and Sofia suggested they watched the gorgeous sunset outside. It was very windy so they went up to deck 16 above the gym and sat on the floor behind the glass. There was no one nearby and the silence was only broken by the occasional whistle of the wind.

The sun was barely hanging above the horizon and what was left of the powerful light threw dazzling reflections of orange and red like a blood blanket over the ocean.

Denise threw in a deep breath of warm air that tasted of sea. "I swear if this was all there was to sea life I would never want to leave the cruise ships." She murmured pointing her face towards the sun.

"Yes, this is such an incredible view. The sunset is so amazing it looks like a painting."

They went on talking about the positive and negative aspects of working on ships until a middle aged passenger sat next to them without asking permission and started talking, not realizing that the girls in their gym wear were crew. Initially they glanced at each other thinking about leaving, but in one minute they realized the man was harmless and just wanted someone to listen to his stories. He was probably lonely and both of them knew exactly what that felt like.

He spent twenty minutes telling them about the great conversations he had with the universe and the secrets he learned from the comets that passed near the earth. He gave them a series of bizarre details that they both listened to enthusiastically and finished by saying that his alien friends had promised to pick him up from earth and give him a special position in their planet where he would be safe from all the human nonsense. He thanked them politely for listening and asked them to spread the word. They nodded in agreement and waved as he walked slowly towards the stairs to deck 15.

"Since he doesn't smell like alcohol, I would say he's either on drugs or has lost his marbles." Sofia observed with amusement.

"Maybe he spends too much time watching TV!" Denise giggled.

"Do you get a lot of crazy people like him?"

"At a rate of three thousand every cruise we do get a lot of nut heads, but to that level is rare."

"Well, at least we had some fun!" Sofia snickered.

Alone in her cabin after Denise left because of something important she had to do, Sofia started studying her Lonely Planet guide for Australia and New Zealand. With different color post-its she marked the places where the ship was going to dock and read the relevant chapters, highlighting important details. That was the best way to use the little time they had in port properly and she wanted to have a chance to enjoy every minute in case she never had a chance to return.

* * *

"Good morning doc. Can I have the pleasure of your company?"

Sofia stopped playing with the fork and looked at the middle aged man with soft grey hair, big dark blue eyes and a khaki uniform who was smiling at her.

"Sure. I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Sofia Aguiar, a.k.a. baby doctor." She offered a hand that he kissed extravagantly.

"Enchanté. I'm David Willis, a.k.a., SETO." He replied and took a seat right next to her.

"And what does SETO stand for?" She enquired, although she knew the violet color between the three and a half golden stripes meant he was from the technical department and his rank was higher than hers.

"Senior Electrical Technical Officer. I'm responsible for the electrical issues onboard so, if you have any problems in that area let me know. If someone upsets you please tell me and we can arrange for their cabin lights to be put off for a cruise. I can also talk to the plumbers and get them to shut down the water. I have excellent connections onboard." He winked.

"Most people ask for a phone number or send flowers. I like your approach. Very unusual." She chuckled.

David ordered his English breakfast and Sofia had coffee, toast and jam. Eggs, sausage and beans in the morning were way too much for her delicate stomach and even after living in England and Ireland she could never get used to that.

"So, what's your excuse?" David asked, observing her with devoted attention.

"For what?"

"To be here. What's a beautiful young woman like you doing on a ship so far away from home? I'm sure unemployment is not a problem in the medical industry."

Sofia shrugged. "Let's just say I needed to escape completely."

"Fair enough. Most of us do. My boys are all excited about you. There's a lot of doc gossip going on in the Engine Room. Don't get them wrong. They're nice lads, but life on board can get a bit boring. It's good to have someone new and beautiful to look at. I just hope they don't all start getting sick."

"Interesting. Do you think I can take advantage and get a tour of the Engine Room? I'm very curious to see what runs the ship."

David frowned. "My dear, I'll be very happy to give you that tour myself. Just page me on a port day. I wouldn't miss the chance to be seen with a beauty like you and make them all jealous. Plus it will be a pleasure to show you what keeps this rust bucket floating."

"Rust bucket, hum? Now you're scaring me. But thanks for the offer. I'll give you a page some other day since today we have drills." She reminded.

"Yes, we need to be nice with the Aussies. They're good people." David mentioned while they finished breakfast.

"It's going to disturb my plans a little but if we have to do it, we have to do it." She said with resignation.

"If everything works well they should be done by eleven and then you can do whatever you like."

"That's not too bad. It still gives me enough time to go to the crocodile park."

"You're going to see the crocs?" His eyes narrowed in curiosity.

"Yes, Denise, the front desk supervisor and I are going there at lunch time."

David made a short pause like he was trying hard to remember something. "I was there last year when my kids came for a cruise. It was very interesting. You'll like it."

"You have a family?" Sofia enquired with surprise.

"Yes. Two kids and a wife. I've been married for almost twenty years." He replied proudly.

"How does your wife cope with you working on ships and staying away from home for so many months?"

"I met my wife on a ship when I was a cadet. She was a photographer. We did a few contracts together but when we decided to have a family she went back to England and stayed there with the family. She took care of the kids all the time. She's a wonderful lady, my Mrs."

"And she trusts you here alone, surrounded by beautiful women?"

He laughed because if such a thing as a David's FAQ existed that would be the number one question.

"Of course not! When the kids were smaller she had to, but ever since they reached their teenage years she leaves them with the grandparents regularly and comes to stay onboard with me. She does a lot of travelling while I work. Great life for her, she gets the best of the two worlds and still keeps me under control. But of course I love her company." He explained.

Sofia looked at him dazzled. "It might be a good life, but I couldn't do it. Staying away from my husband would be bad already, but trust him by himself on a ship would be out of the question. And I've only been here for a couple of weeks."

David found her observation funny but he understood why she felt that way. As someone who witnessed great changes in the people and mentalities over the years at sea, he could see why any intelligent young woman wouldn't trust her man alone onboard. The temptations were many and the morals were getting lower at the same rate they made the ships bigger.

"It's not for everyone. Some people manage, others don't. A few years ago things weren't as bad as they are now. When I was younger there was a lot more respect; you wouldn't see people behaving like they do now and the ones who crossed the lines of decency were a lot more discrete. Things changed a lot." He observed consulting his Omega watch. "Well my darling, I must go now. Nice talking to you. Enjoy the crocs."

"Nice to meet you too." Sofia said before he left and when he walked out of the room she wondered how someone could spend a lifetime away from home and not be there when the kids said the first words or took the first step. She wasn't sure if she admired David or if she found him selfish, but he was certainly an enjoyable company.

At 9:30 the Bridge made the first announcement through the PA for the Assessment Party to go to deck 2, zone six, storage area. At 9:45 another announcement came through and a few seconds later the crew alert signal went off: the continuous ringing of the ship's alarm.

Following the rules Sofia went to her room, put on a life jacket, got her emergency card, the hat and the warm clothing and followed her emergency duties by the book, hoping that if that alarm ever went off for real everything would be that smooth and well organized. It was very easy to tell people what to do and get them to obey when they all knew it was only an exercise and all they wanted was to get it over quickly so they could go ashore.

A voice with a strong Italian accent followed, informing what was the meaning of the alarm and Sofia moved to the promenade deck as ordered.

Crew members took their positions wearing the lifejackets. There were very few passengers onboard and they all knew there was a drill so they didn't get on anyone's way. In a real emergency the doctors would be placed on lifeboats with the passengers, so they went to deck 7 and waited for the bridge to give them the next orders.

The bridge made another announcement and called everyone who was not involved in the preparation of the lifeboats to stand down. In minutes most people were gone and the only ones left on deck were the few that were going to get the boats out of their davits into the water. All the exercises went according to plan and the Staff Captain was happy that with such a nice day and almost no wind no one scratched the paint from the side of ship. The port authorities were happy too and like David predicted, just after eleven the Bridge announced the end of the drill.

* * *

The taxi drive to the Crocodylus Park only took about fifteen minutes. Located right by the Holmes Jungle Nature Reserve, the park was probably the best place in Australia to learn about crocodiles and see them close and safely.

Sofia and Denise bought the tickets and as soon as they crossed the gates a guy wearing khaki shorts, a matching shirt and a cowboy hat greeted them, holding one small crocodile on each hand. The baby crocs looked like lizards but although not yet such a big danger, they already had very sharp teeth so the mouths were closed with a rubber band. Everyone in the group had a chance to take a picture holding a miniature croc.

Walking on a metal platform above water Sofia and Denise had the opportunity to be right above some adult crocs that measured up to 4.7 meters and could weight half a ton.

"It must be horrible to be a crocodile." Sofia murmured taking one more picture as one of them jumped graciously out of the muddy water just meters away from them.

"Why would you think that?" Denise asked.

"They are born ugly, they are ugly all their lives, they live in dirty water and one day someone turns them into a pair of shoes. What a sad existence."

A few people who heard the comment chuckled.

"That's only if that big croc doesn't get its teeth on that person and turns them into lunch, which happens quite a lot in this part of the country." The guide said with a comic grin as they moved to the next part.

There was another platform over the muddy lake and a few big crocodiles could be spotted in what seemed to be the afternoon nap, barely moving at all. There was a steel cable over the lake and a gadget that the guide used to hook a piece of meat. He pulled the cable to the center of the lake and even before it reached the middle a huge croc jumped, pulling its body nearly completely out of the water and as he opened the big mouth towards the cable the meat disappeared in seconds and all that was left of the croc's presence was the revolving water underneath. The loud sound of that big mouth closing scared Denise and she took a step back.

"What's up?" Sofia asked, finally finding something truly amusing.

"Are you kidding me? I was just imagining that thing closing its mouth around my leg. Spooky."

"There are animals we need to respect and stay away from. Remind me not to go for a swim in Darwin Bay."

"You better not even dream of it miss. We get crocs there every day." The friendly guide confirmed.

"Do you have a lot of crocodile attacks?" Denise asked.

"Once in a while. This is their home, we're the invaders. We get calls frequently from people who spot one too close to residential areas. Sometimes people find them in their pools."

"Ouch!"

He chuckled. "It is scary. Normally we send a team to catch them and release them in a safe place. Crocs don't want to be close to humans any more than humans want to be close to them. But of course, once in a while people get too close. A few weeks ago a fisherman disappeared in a river up north. We found a shoe full of blood on the river bank a day later. But on a long scale, I can promise you a lot more people die from car accidents than from crocodile attacks." He explained.

Some visitors tried to feed the crocodiles in another area where they were given a long rod with a hook where the guide put a piece of bloody red meat. Denise refused the experience since she already found it bad enough that the crocodile underneath the platform where she was standing was four times bigger than her. Sofia gave it a try but insisted that the croc would look much better as a pair of shoes, or maybe a nice bag.

The guided tour ended and they took some time seeing the other animals in the park. There were turtles, monkeys, lions, tigers, kangaroos, wombats, iguanas and a lot of other different kinds of wild life. It was very similar to a zoo but specialized in crocodiles.

After taking more pictures and looking one last time at the crocodiles, Sofia and Denise finished in the museum where they learned more about the interesting details of crocodile life, such as the fact that there used to be a lot more species than nowadays, including a vegetarian crocodile, which according to Sofia's theory was eaten by the others.

"Look." Denise said pointing at a board. "It says here that the largest living reptile in the world is the Australian saltwater crocodile, and he can gallop and jump over rocks and logs. They can reach up to seventeen kilometers per hour. And you were saying they're only good to make shoes."

"And bags!" Sofia replied giggling. "It's not like I want them to be killed or anything. They are amazing animals that should be protected, but I feel much better if they are in Australia and I'm somewhere far away from those sharp big teeth."

"If you think about it, it's incredible the amount of dangerous species in this country. They have everything: crocodiles, spiders, poisonous snakes, sharks, even the koalas have those dangerous paws." Denise observed.

"When I went to Nepal and we hiked the Annapurna there was a place with a plaque saying behind the curtain you will find the most dangerous animal in the world. I looked behind the curtain and guess what? There was a mirror!" Sofia observed while they had ice cream just before returning to the ship.

Her friend nodded in agreement. "That is so true. Without all the damage we have been causing, nature would take its course and balance everything out. We are the ones ruining the system and all of that because of greed. The planet has more than enough for everyone to live well, but for some to consume a lot more than they need, the others are left with nothing and we're wrecking the planet."

"I read somewhere that if everyone on the planet consumed as much as the Americans we would need three planets like this one."

"You can add Europe and a few others to that list." Denise finished her vanilla ice cream. "You know what I just noticed?" She asked.

"No. What?"

"This is the first time in two weeks that I've been further than a terminal building."

"Honey, no wonder you're so unhappy. You need a life!" Sofia replied.

"I had a life. My job ate it!" Denise snorted.

"Why are you still doing it then?" Sofia had been intrigued since she realized how unhappy her friend was most of the time.

Denise made a pause to organize her thoughts and stared at the empty table. "Honestly, I have no idea. I can't give you a reason."

"I want you to stay because you are a great friend, but sometimes I think it would be better for you to leave."

"I have a tendency to just go on when I don't know what to do." She concluded.

The rest of the afternoon Denise thought about that and couldn't reach any conclusion. If only she had a plan of some sort, but she didn't. She simply had no idea of where to go from there.

# 6

It was a sea day and by lunch break Sofia was bored again. A lot of people took afternoon naps but she didn't like napping because if she slept for two hours in the afternoon she would be awake all night. Instead she took a stroll through the shops to see if there was anything worth buying. She came out with a new necklace that she didn't need but it made her happy. It reminded her of something her father had given her when she was a child. When she held the silver pendant in her hand she was able to remember the good moments she had spent with her father. It felt like a lifetime ago.

On the way out she leaned over the railing and had a look at the atrium below. One thing she immediately noticed was the amount of obese people. She had seen that before, but when so many passengers concentrated in the same area wearing shorts and t-shirts that detail became a lot more visible. It was a fact that obesity was increasing all over the world, but the ratio on the ship was incredibly high. She could swear that some of those passengers hadn't seen their feet in years, not to mention other parts of their anatomy.

How people could get to that point and keep eating tree times more than they should was beyond comprehension. It was hard to understand that they wouldn't try harder to change their life style, if for nothing else, at least for the sake of their health.

Sofia took the stairs down to deck 6 and stopped there, observing for another while. In front of her was the front desk and she could see Denise talking to a passenger. She wanted to go there and say hello but it would be rude to interrupt so she waited a bit to see if they finished.

While she waited, the most extraordinary thing happened. A lady was sitting on a wheelchair waiting in queue for her turn and as she prepared to talk to the receptionist she stood up and walked, leaving the wheelchair right behind. The guy who she spoke to didn't seem surprised, which meant he was used to it. When the lady finished talking she sat again on the chair and went towards the elevator.

Apart from Sofia, no one else seemed particularly shocked that people walked in and out of wheelchairs. She concluded that instead of being some sort of temporary miracle it was likely a new life style. She really wanted to ask Denise about it but the angry passenger was still there so she returned to the medical center where Mary was organizing some files and boxes in the pharmacy.

"Hi Mary. I want to ask you something."

"Hi doc, what's up?" The friendly nurse replied.

"I saw a woman just a few minutes ago by the reception and she was in a wheelchair, right? Suddenly she stands up on her legs, talks to the receptionist and gets back on the wheelchair. Is that a normal thing?"

Mary nodded. "I bet with you she's American. They love the bloody things those punters. They're too lazy to move their own arses so they get wheelies." She answered in her typical Irish style.

Sofia needed a chair for herself after listening to that. "They use wheelchairs that are meant for people who actually need them because they are too lazy to walk? Seriously?"

"Oh yes. As they become fatter it gets harder to walk because of the pressure. The legs get swollen and sore, they get tired easily. Instead of going on a diet and work out programs to lose weight they prefer to get a wheelchair. Most of them order them from the company and return them by the end of the cruise."

"Are they so damn stupid they can't see it's only going to make it worse?" Sofia asked, proving she was still a bit naïve in onboard matters.

"It's fine. When they stop walking for real they get a scooter instead of the wheelchair." Mary added.

"They get a scooter?" Sofia was dumbfounded.

"Sure. You'll see them all over the ship if you ever sail Alaska or the Caribbean. They are small, the battery can be recharged and most of them even have a little basket for the shopping and a horn. Some passengers own one but a lot of companies found it to be a lucrative business so they rent them specifically for cruises." Mary concluded.

Sofia was trying to believe her ears. People who could walk but chose to use wheelchairs when they have two functioning legs, as opposed to many people who would give anything to be able to walk but their legs don't work. That was against nature, logic, and certainly against medicine. Making the use of a wheelchair into a personal choice out of pure laziness was surreal. And here she was, surrounded by surreal people who seemed to believe that losing weight was too much trouble so instead of eating less burgers and fries, they gave up on the gift of walking. The world was officially insane!

A few minutes after the last patient left, Sofia was still thinking about the wheelchairs when the pager vibrated on her desk. There was a message to call Denise's office.

"Hey, how are you?" A cheerful voice asked after two rings.

"Trying to digest the fact that people on ships use wheelchairs for sports! I'm still in the medical center, and you?"

Denise chuckled. "Oh yes, they do that. Listen, I still have a bit of work to do but I'm calling you because it's Aaron's birthday and we're invited for drinks and finger food in the wardie. Do you want to come?"

"No gym today?"

"No. We'll make it up tomorrow."

"Okay then. Do I need a uniform?" Sofia enquired, feeling like wearing her own clothes for a change.

"No. We won't go for dinner after. Put on something comfortable." Denise suggested before she hung up and Sofia remained staring at her desk trying to fight the thought that people who used wheelchairs because they didn't want to walk were the ones who deserved to lose their legs for real. It was mean and cruel, but she couldn't get it out of her mind.

She arrived in the wardie at eight o'clock wearing jeans and a white top that made her tanned skin stand out. She recognized most people and it didn't feel as much that she was surrounded by strangers. Sofia noticed that the same people had a tendency to sit in the same places and the groups didn't change much. It was like the space was divided by invisible territory lines.

Aaron was the first to welcome her. He greeted her with a warm smile and a kiss on her hand like a true gentleman.

"Hello. Thank you for coming. You look fabulous." He said analyzing her from head to feet.

"Thanks. Happy birthday." She replied not too enthusiastically, remembering New Year's Eve, when she had to spend half the night running away from him.

"Please come and have a drink. Open bar on me. Ask whatever you like."

"Beer is fine."

When Sofia approached the bar she saw Denise walking in with Diego. She looked amazing with her hair lose, wearing a dark green dress that suited her skin perfectly. The high heels gave it a touch of class. A number of heads turned their way.

"Oh my God," Sofia observed, "you look stunning."

Denise thanked her and Diego smiled proudly. Maybe he was not much of a romantic guy, but he was not blind.

"I think someone is going to have a good night." Sofia murmured looking straight at Diego who had been distracted by a cruise staff guy wearing a cowboy outfit.

"I hope so." Denise replied with a mischievous smile.

Sofia spent a very entertaining evening. The feeling that she now belonged to whatever community existed onboard made the talk easy. The birthday party was a good excuse to find out a little bit more about the people she was living with, since the ship was everyone's home and they all lived there together like a big dysfunctional and not-always-happy family.

Amy from the crew office was, just like Denise had mentioned, the nicest person onboard. It was very easy to keep a great conversation with someone like her. Robert, her husband, was as pleasant as his wife and Sofia also enjoyed talking to Natalie from the tour office and Celine, the cruise sales consultant. There were some pretty amazing people to meet on the ship. The one thing she also noticed was Leah, who was sitting on a tall chair by the bar talking to the housekeeping manager and didn't look, talk or smile to anyone else. Social skills were definitely not in her wide package.

"Ciao bella!" A voice said from behind Sofia. She turned around and saw a tall, dark haired, tanned young man sitting on the arm of the couch with a broad smile.

"Hi. I remember you from somewhere. Have we met before?" She asked, confused.

"Andrea. I was on the bridge on New Year's Eve when you stopped by with your friends."

She gave him a wink. "Yes, that's it. How are you?"

"Good. Just having a chill out before I start my shift again. I'm doing midnight to four."

"Ouch!"

Celine and Amy left and Andrea took the seat between Sofia and Denise and offered them another drink. Apart from being nice he was also very good looking.

"So, tell me something Andrea, when I arrived someone told me I should stay away from Italians, would you happen to know why?" Sofia enquired.

Next to Sofia, Denise chuckled, waiting for his reply.

"I don't know. Maybe that someone is jealous of our abilities." He replied.

"I was told that by a woman."

"Then she probably had a bad experience with an Italian man. I swear it wasn't me. I'm a very good guy."

"Good guys don't look like you." Denise interjected.

"I am a good guy, you can ask my girlfriend." He insisted.

"Which dancer are you seeing now?" She asked, giving Sofia the impression she knew him pretty well.

"Christine."

"What's with the bridge guys and the dancers? Is it something in your genes?" Sofia had heard a few things about watch keepers dating dancers.

"It's not in their genes." Denise affirmed. "It's in their jeans!" And as she said that they both laughed out loud.

Sofia noticed there was something more they were not telling her. "All right, what is it that the two of you are hiding? Tell me everything."

Andrea finished his sparkling water and asked for another bottle before replying. "Denise and I met on her first contract and she had a big crush on me. She was all upset because I was seeing a dancer."

Not finding anything suitable to throw at him, Denise gave him a wry look.

"See, I told you." Andrea told Sofia triumphantly.

"So you broke Denise's heart? How rude!" She joked.

"He didn't break my heart, only my ego. That's what Italians do, they damage your ego. Stay away from them."

"Hey, you went from Italian to Spanish. I wouldn't call it an upgrade!" He chided pretending to be offended.

"It is for me. Independently of the passport, at least now I have a guy who actually does more than talking to me."

Andrea smirked. "I hope so!"

Sofia was enjoying the debate and called Diego who was playing darts, oblivious to their conversation. "Hey Diego, come and sit your Spanish ass next to us. We're having a very interesting conversation about international performances and you might want to give us your thoughts on that." She called.

Suddenly people from nine different countries had a long discussion that involved working skills, empathy, communication abilities and sexual performances based exclusively on nationality.

Andrea proved to be a good entertainer and a fun company and Sofia liked the idea of being friends with him. Having a girlfriend put him on a safe place, unlike other people. She glanced quickly at Aaron and turned her head before he noticed and made the wrong interpretation.

Sofia had spent a lively and happy night with the only downturn of avoiding Aaron who, after too many drinks has decided to like her again.

* * *

After two days at sea the entire ship's company was dreaming of the four mile beach in Port Douglas the following day. For the ones who wouldn't have a chance to go ashore it was a torture; for the lucky ones it was a few hours in paradise with white sand, lukewarm water and cool drinks under the shinning sun. Sofia managed to get a few hours off thanks to the generosity of the senior doctor who had been everywhere and wasn't much into the beach thing.

Denise, on the other hand, was doing back office cover and couldn't go anywhere.

"I don't get the point of working on a ship if you don't have time to go ashore and enjoy the ports. I guess you're not here for the great salary they pay you, right?" Sofia enquired when they stretched in the gym later in the evening. It wasn't the first time she asked her friend why she was still there but until that moment she had never heard a straight answer.

"I work nearly three hundred hours a month and get paid in American dollars. If I did those hours in Switzerland I would make three times more money. So no, money has nothing to do with me being here." She replied stretching her legs and graciously pushing her muscles to the limit.

"So why are you here then? You're clearly not very happy."

"I guess two things keep me here: my boyfriend and my pride, in that order. I could let go of the pride considering that I work with the worst team ever and my supervisors suck, but I don't want to let go of Diego yet."

Sofia couldn't help admiring her. Being that determined in the middle of so many problems had to take a lot of strength and she wondered if Denise was aware of the extraordinary person she actually was. "Are the other ships like this too or you were really unlucky this time?"

"If all ships were like this I wouldn't have survived my first contract. This is the worst I've ever seen. The people make the ship and the management here is really bad. It looks like they picked up the crappiest people they could find on the pursers department and dumped them all here to make my life hell. It's impossible to motivate my guys to work harder when I have to drag myself to work every day." Denise sighed.

Sofia was on a mattress playing with a two pound weight. "How were the other ships where you worked before?"

"Pretty great. Of course there are always people you don't get along with, but here it's unbelievable. I had a great time on my previous contracts."

"Sometimes all it takes is one person to ruin a team." Sofia observed.

"In my case all it takes is one team to ruin a person: me!"

Sofia chuckled. "Don't be unfair. I remember you saying you had two good receptionists left. It's better than none."

"Yes, one is going home in Sydney and I've done my best to avoid for Sonya to resign. Leah decided to keep her on the front desk when she's the most experienced and hard working person we have there. For Leah it's a way to keep someone good in the reception, but for Sonya it's a punishment. The girl is very depressed and it's been hard to convince her to stay. But at least for the moment I have someone I can rely on."

With some time left before it was too late for dinner, the two friends changed into their bikinis and went to the Jacuzzi for a few minutes just to relax their muscles.

"Did I tell you there's a crew disco tonight?" Denise asked.

"What is a crew disco?"

"They lower the lights in the crew bar and get someone to play music like a DJ so that everyone can pretend they're in a club somewhere and dance like maniacs until the night manager shows up around two in the morning and closes the whole thing down. Most people dress up like they're going out on a Saturday night and sometimes crew discos are thematic. Tonight is Welcome to Australia disco and I know some people are going to come up with costumes. Ian and Anne were arranging hats with corks and I heard some of the dancers are going to dress up as aborigines." Denise explained.

"Seems like fun. Tell me more." Sofia was interested in anything she hadn't seen yet.

"Crew discos are also a wonderful opportunity for those looking to get laid, to make new friends and to consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol and wake up with a gigantic hangover the next morning. Something tells me that half my receptionists will be missing on the early shift tomorrow." Denise added to the description. That only made Sofia more enthusiastic.

"Why do I have the feeling you don't particularly like crew discos?"

"I don't. They start too late which means I won't get my precious seven hours of beauty sleep, and smoking is allowed so you can imagine the place after one hour. It's hard to breathe. Last time I went to one even my underwear smelled like cigarettes."

"Well, I've never been so I think we should go tonight. What time does it start?" Sofia asked already thinking of what would be appropriate to wear.

"Never before midnight. Do we really have to go?" Denise pouted.

"Yes. If you don't go with me I'll get bored and if you come you can see who your guys are hanging out with and you might find which cabins to call if they are missing tomorrow morning." Sofia concluded, not willing to take a no for an answer.

Denise looked at her with resignation. "All right, you win."

On ships, the only thing that changes a lot is the landscape. Everything else remains pretty much the same cruise after cruise, day after day and it didn't take long for Sofia to understand that.

The wardroom was full like in any other night, and like any other night, the faces were the same. Even the bartender was always the usual friendly Filipino with the spiky hair and a teenage face, even though he was twenty six. Sometimes in uniform, other times wearing their own clothes, some days in a good mood other just tired and annoyed, every day the people were the same, the talks were around the same subjects and even the music playing didn't change that much.

In the usual corner Diego, Aaron, Ian and one of the receptionists whose name Sofia couldn't remember, played darts and drank beers. In the middle section there were a few pursers, some cruise staff members ready to go back to passenger areas and do their thing and the production manager, all chatty and cheerful. On the other side, by the exit door the engineers sat in a circle by a table where the sparkling water bottles and the uniforms meant they were on watch that night. As soon as Denise and Sofia walked in, a number of heads turned in their direction.

Denise was what was called off the market, but as far as ship's gossip went the baby doc was not taken yet and that would be a catch. Someone that pretty and with all those stripes is well worth the investment. That was what she understood from the conversation in Italian that went on while she walked towards the bar.

"Single doesn't mean available, and don't bother with the investment." She answered loud enough so that the entire crowd in the room heard. "And yes, I do understand Italian." She added to the embarrassment of the officer who had made the comment.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to laugh at the poor guy, who looked like he could use somewhere to hide but his humiliation only lasted a few seconds because Aaron managed to hit the bartender's arm with a dart and everyone turned to him to make sure the damage wasn't extensive.

"Good thing we have a doctor in the house." Someone murmured.

Sofia checked the arm and it was only a scratch that she quickly disinfected and put a bandage on. Aaron apologized a million times for not paying attention to what he was doing and everything went back to the same except that his playing companions wouldn't stop mocking him for a good while. He knew they wouldn't let that go for a few weeks and prepared his mind to accept their scornful comments.

Sofia liked the hats with the corks she saw in the wardroom. The Australians in the room explained that the idea was to keep insects away and eventually it became one of the symbols of the country.

Amy told a story about meeting some strange character in Ayers Rock years before and the conversation moved on to her saying she had no intention to go to the crew bar because her husband finished his shift at midnight and spending time with her hubby was far more interesting than some stupid disco full of smoke.

"Amy, do you think your husband would show me the bridge one of these days? I was only there very briefly and didn't get to see it well." Sofia asked.

"Of course. I'll talk to him and we can arrange some time for you to go up for a guided visit." She replied cordially.

Sofia saw David and sat next to him on a tall chair by the bar.

"Look at this. It must be my lucky night. Can I offer you a drink my dear?" He asked with a gentle smile.

"Hello SETO, nice to see you too. I'll have an orange juice, thank you."

"No alcohol?" He asked surprised.

"Not for me. I know people drink a lot around here but I have to be smarter than that. We never know what can happen, right?" She still remembered her hangover after New Year's Eve very well.

He nodded. "Very true. And you doctors need to give the example."

Sofia laughed, enjoying his company perhaps because being older and married she knew he joked but it was all for fun and she had nothing to worry about. She had a good feeling about David.

"Are you coming to the disco?"

"Hell no!" He said immediately. "Someone would have to pay me a huge bonus for that."

"Is it that bad?"

"I will let you draw your own conclusions but I've been at sea long enough to know where I don't want to be."

"So where are you going to spend the night?"

"Is that an invitation?" He replied teasing.

"Just curiosity..."

"My son sent me a new computer game. That's the plan for tonight. The fellow wants to beat me next time I go home and I have to show him that his old man can still kick his skinny butt. Then the plan after a few hours of sleep is to anchor the ship safely so you can go and enjoy the beach. Duty before pleasure my dear."

A few minutes past midnight a group of nine made their way forward and took the elevator to deck eight. There were only a few people in the crew bar. For the majority of the crew, it was still early. The advantage of that was being able to find a good seat; there were not many available and the layout of the room made it hard to sit a big group together. Ian took a piece of paper and started taking orders. Diego went with him to the bar to help him bring the drinks.

"Do you know there are people making jokes about if Diego is dating you or Ian?" Sofia asked to her friend's ear as her boyfriend walked past the side door.

"I heard that, yes. People are stupid and mean. Ship's gossip. It seems like entertainment isn't good enough onboard so they need a few extras to fill in their empty lives."

"People can be very cruel..." Sofia remembered when Carla told her that a few days earlier.

"And unfair. I don't listen to them but over the years I've seen people signing off because of things like that. Not everyone lives well knowing the others say evil things about them behind their backs. Diego normally tells me everything he hears, before anyone else does. I never got upset over gossip because until now he never gave me any reason not to trust him. My boyfriend is far from being what I would like him to be, but until the day he lies to me I will never give any credit to other people's wild imagination. One of these days they'll start saying I'm dating you as well, just give it some time." Denise replied and Sofia chuckled.

The guys came back with two trays of drinks and distributed them on the small table in the center. More people arrived and by half past midnight the room was full and the dance music started blasting on the speakers.

Sofia noticed the different groups that took shape here and there. By the main entrance Filipinos, mostly housekeeping and cleaning staff. Next to them the eastern European waiters, some of them still in uniforms because the restaurants had closed recently; across the room, the Spa team wearing a ton of makeup and leaving very little to imagination with their reduced clothing. Behind them a smaller group formed by some photographers, shop staff and random crew that she didn't even recognize. The biggest group was hers.

A few Mexicans took over the dance floor and soon people from all different groups followed, with the Spa girls in the center where they believed they belonged and where everybody could observe their exposed legs and deep cleavages. Shortly after, their competition arrived as the dancers made their entrance wearing very interesting aboriginal costumes and body paintings that left even less to imagination. They went straight to the dance floor and mingled with everyone who was already there giving a certain glow to the party.

"What's with the dancers and the Spa? Is there a competition to see who wears the smallest belt?" Sofia asked, referring to the skirts.

"Almost. The Spa girls wear those tiny pieces of fabric because they like to show off and the dancers like to show off even more and since they have nice bodies they seem to believe we all need to have a closer look." Diego explained.

"Oh, come on, don't be mean." Ian protested from his corner. "Some of them look very nice".

"Very nice and very naked. If my girlfriend ever wears something like that she can go look for another date." He replied.

Denise kissed him lightly. "No worries on that matter. I like to keep decency and respect at reasonable levels. Competing with Spa's and dancers is not in my plans."

"They are no match for you." Diego murmured in a subtle moment that passed unnoticed to most people, but not to Sofia's sharp eyes. Part of being a good doctor was being a good observer.

The other thing Sofia's sharp eyes didn't miss was the amount of gay people. She had heard about it before, that cruise ships are a gay world, but it was only that particular night that she realized there were so many and so open about their sexuality. Many were seating nearly on each other's laps, cuddling and in some of occasions even kissing, which she found inappropriate, not that she would ever find appropriate for straight couples to make out in public either. Some things should simply stay behind doors where they belong.

Ian noticed her discomfort and tried to explain that it was easy for gays to live onboard ships because there is a good acceptance from the other crew. In many places gay people are still seen as abnormal but on ships most people don't really care and treat them as equals, which he found fair considering they worked as hard as anyone else and it was nobody's business who they slept with.

Sofia understood what Denise was talking about when she mentioned the opportunities for getting laid. Several crew members seemed to get together and dance in ways that didn't really strike as simple friendship. In Sofia's world friends didn't rub against each other like that and their hands didn't touch each other's body parts in such explicit ways. The excessive drinking was also evident. Normally there was a lot of drinking going on any night; on a crew disco the big only got bigger. There were still some left who were there just to socialize a bit after a long day of work, the ones who could keep a decent conversation and didn't drink too much because they were aware of the responsibility they carried.

"The officers who have their own cabin always have better chances. For those who share a cabin things can get complicated, especially if the roommate doesn't like the extra company." Denise pointed out.

"Are you saying that people take someone else to sleep with them when the roommate is in the cabin?" She asked in astonishment.

"Yes, a lot of them do."

"You're joking!"

"No, my dear. Before I got promoted when I had to share my cabin, one day I came from the beach and my roommate's curtains were closed around the bed. She slept on the top bunk and I didn't even know if she was in the room. When I opened the door to the bathroom to have a shower before work I found this bartender she had been sleeping with wearing my bath towel around his waist."

"That's unbelievable. How can people invade somebody else's privacy like that?"

"They don't have a choice. Some crew take their boyfriend or girlfriend to sleep in a tiny single bed in a room they share with someone else because that's the only option they have. I know it sounds insane but when both share a room, privacy doesn't exist."

"And the roommates accept that?" Sofia enquired imagining a few different ways of killing someone who did that to her.

"Some do, some don't. I never accepted it because my room is the only space on a ship where I get a bit of freedom and it's bad enough to share it with someone else. Not to mention that those cabins are already small for two."

"That's totally surreal. I would never come to work here if I had to share a room with a stranger, much less adding a stranger's boyfriend."

"Most crew onboard share a room. Many work here for years and they never get their own cabin. It's like everything else here, a matter of rank. To give you a better idea, if two waiters are legally married, they are still given separate cabins, she shares with a girl and he shares with a guy. The company doesn't give them a private cabin because berthing is arranged by gender and that would create them logistic issues. But for example Amy and her husband, who are both officers, get one private cabin each even though they only need one. As long as they are both onboard one of their cabins is empty."

"This ranking thing goes way beyond ridiculous sometimes. Why wouldn't they give a private cabin to a couple who are legally married?"

"Because it's easier for them not to. Crew can accept it or get a job ashore. Their choice." Denise concluded and Sofia realized that the more she learned, the weirder things seemed and she felt relieved that a lot of that weirdness didn't affect her directly.

# 7

The beach. A wonderful glorious day with a deep cloudless blue sky and warm sun. Sofia sunbathed and mumbled a word once in a while, feeling like she was floating in the outer space. It felt good. Kieran played with Jamie. They built castles but the sand was not wet enough and the wind kept blowing everything away. Every time one construction was ruined, Kieran looked at the shapeless pile of sand pretending to be displeased and Jamie laughed his childish happy laughter. He took the plastic bucket and ran to get more water to mix with the sand. Another castle was on the way.

Sofia glanced at them, sluggish. She moved unhurriedly and turned on her back to get the tan even. She could hear Jamie's laughter on the background as she snoozed.

A scream. She opened her eyes in panic. Kieran was running towards the water. Jamie!

It all happened in seconds. Kieran got distracted looking at his stunning girlfriend. Jamie disappeared. Jamie died.

Sofia woke up in tears and it took her a minute to understand it was a nightmare. Only it wasn't. Jamie was dead. But it wasn't Kieran's fault. It was no one's fault he was sick...

She dragged herself out of bed slowly and had a cold shower, still with Jamie's laugher sounding in her mind. A sound she would never hear again.

A chat with the tour office manager granted Sofia a ticket to the tour of the Great Barrier Reef. The day started with a big drama because a catamaran broke and one of the departures had to be cancelled. The tour office was hammered with complaints from angry passengers, but Sofia's departure was still on and early morning she arrived in the catamaran, trying hard to put the images that woke her up away from her mind.

Sofia was the only crew member on that passenger's tour and she found it of good sense to keep that information to herself. The last thing she wanted was to get medical and ship's questions in the middle of her day off. With her cap, sun glasses and white bikini contrasting with her tanned skin, she looked just like any tourist on the boat that took the group to the platform above the reef.

The day was hot, the temperature of the water was perfect and Sofia put on the snorkeling gear and jumped in. Snorkeling in shallow clean waters, surrounded by corals and all kinds of sea life was breathtaking, almost unreal.

Sofia saw colored fish of all sizes and shapes, a turtle and even what looked like a shark swimming away, keeping its distance. The sun coming from above gave the water an impossible shade of blue beautifully enhanced by the rainbow of color from the corals and fish.

Spending a day in such a splendid place was far from being enough but Sofia found those few hours in the underwater Garden of Eden a great reward. It was not every day that someone had the opportunity to swim in the largest reef in the world, constituted by more than 2800 coral reefs altogether. She appreciated and enjoyed every minute spent in such a magnificent place.

There was an observatory in the platform and she stayed there for a while, escaping the dangerous sun. Someone said that Australia was the worst place possible to be under the sun because the ozone layer there was nearly gone. Sofia was under the impression that the gap in the ozone layer was not over one particular location, but independently of that being true or not, sunscreen was mandatory unless one wanted to add to the skin cancer statistics. Sofia already had a fair share of cancer tragedies in her life.

Before going back she took one last swim in the rich waters and admired one more time the stunning underwater world so that the images of beauty and perfection could last longer in her memory. She thought of how fragile all that was and of how much damage was being caused to those natural treasures. What a pity it would be if the future generations missed it.

By five o'clock when she was in her cabin again, Sofia couldn't help feeling regret for the crew members that never had a day off. For them, being in the Great Barrier Reef, docked in Brooklyn or on the moon itself was only a matter of geography. She felt blessed for the opportunity she had to see such wonderful places.

After a while in the wardroom Sofia, Carla and a few pursers relocated to the officer's mess for dinner and took over a big round table. Denise didn't mind Ian and Anne, but she wasn't very happy to share the table with Leah so she sat on the farthest seat where she didn't have to look at her supervisor's face. Sofia took a seat next to her friend and Diego found a spot next to Ian so they could continue their conversation about cars and engines. Everybody ordered French onion soup and it was so good that some of them had a second portion instead of a main course.

The conversation was not particularly interesting and the boredom in Carla's face was clear so Sofia started talking about her exciting day and suddenly everyone had some story about snorkeling, swimming, jumping out of planes or safaris to tell.

Leah was the only one who didn't share experiences. She opened her mouth only once to say that she hadn't been out of the ship in two weeks. Carla and Sofia looked at each other with a no wonder she is so miserable expression on their faces.

During dinner they learned that Ian had to disembark a couple in Brisbane because a relative died in California and they had to fly back home. Anne immediately asked which cabin they were in so that she could move someone with a noise complaint. It was just like in animal world: one's bad luck always turns into another's lucky day. Turned out that the couple disembarking would leave a balcony cabin free, which was a major upgrade for the other passengers.

Diego made a comment about a fight between two Romanian waiters that afternoon. Both of them were going to be disembarked in Brisbane because the Captain's standing orders were very clear about crew fighting.

"So tomorrow, they'll be picking up chicken or beef on the flight home. They'll go to Bucharest on the same flight. I just hope they don't have phones onboard the plane." He mentioned while pouring half the sour cream on his baked potato.

"What's the problem with the phones?"

"When they were fighting this afternoon one of them threw the phone to the other one's head. That was when things got really ugly."

"See, this is what happens when people are stupid." Ian said. "If you're going to fight someone at least fight like a man!"

"So, apart from passengers disembarking and crew members fighting, is there anything interesting onboard?" Sofia queried.

"Most of the time, not really." Ian replied. "Honestly, life on board is not nearly as exciting as many people believe. Once in a while we have a crazy thing to talk about but the average days are pretty standard."

"But some people stay for years."

"It is a life style that suit some better than others. Personally I already left twice and both times came back." He confessed.

Sofia gave him a puzzled look. "It didn't work out ashore?"

Ian smiled. "It was all right but in the end I realized I was happier onboard so here I am."

"What about you Diego? Any plans?"

Diego seemed surprised with her question. "I don't know yet. I thought of leaving and of staying but I haven't decided anything. If they promote me next contract I will probably stay a while longer."

Sofia didn't miss the sadness in Denise's eyes when she realized that Diego was not even considering her in any of his plans.

After dinner Sofia took some time to reply an email from her mother and read another one from Ailish, giving her an update about life in the hospital and how she had spent two nights in a row sleeping on the x-ray table. Sofia chuckled thinking that was so typical Ailish and moved on to the next email, Kieran's.

Dear Sofia, where are you? Why don't you answer my emails? Your mobile is always disconnected. Why did you go away? Is this some kind of punishment? I'm sorry I didn't show up. There was an emergency, a very bad accident. I had to save the woman and her baby. You understand that, don't you? A million apologies. Please come back. Love, Kieran.

Sofia felt tears flooding her eyes and she didn't fight them. I love you too, but sometimes love is not enough, she thought. Kieran wanted answers. Sofia painfully decided not to give them to him. If he really loved her he would find his answers and do something more than writing emails. What good were words without actions?

She meditated on how people talk too much and act too little. Talking is easy. Through words people can create what they want others to think and pretend to be someone they're not. Anyone can say anything but ultimately, actions define who a person is. It was that belief that gave her strength to go on, to do the right thing.

* * *

Brisbane was another one of those ports the ship would only visit once, so everyone wanted to go out and make the best out of it. It was a beautiful day and luckily Denise and Sofia had the same break between twelve and three. It was not a lot of time, but good enough to visit the largest koala sanctuary in Australia, the legendary Lone Park Koala Sanctuary.

Aaron, Anne and Diego went with them. They took the bus and got there in just over fifteen minutes. As soon as they bought the tickets and passed the front gate they were welcomed by kangaroos and wallabies jumping freely in a large area where visitors could touch and feed them. The animals were used to human company and knew that people either wanted to take a picture with them or give them food. Food was most welcome but they didn't mind the pictures.

It was fun to observe them jumping everywhere with those long legs that seemed to have springs underneath. The kangaroo family was numerous and looked happy. The older ones were resting by the shadows of the trees and the youngsters made use of their energy and delighted the audience. Some females had baby kangaroos in their pouches and it was beautiful to observe the little one's heads popping out to explore the world under mum's protection.

But what everyone really wanted was to take a picture cuddling a koala. One by one they were entitled to a few minutes with a cute, round ball of fur with sharp claws and a big nose. The pictures were taken under the supervision of the keeper and animals were swapped every fifteen minutes to avoid getting them tired and stressed.

One of the keepers gave a small talk about the koala's habits.

"My next life I want to be a koala." Diego stated with strong conviction.

"Why?" Anne enquired.

"Because they sleep 19 hours a day, spend the other five eating and reproduce between September and March, which seems to be a perfectly reasonable sex life. Some people don't get that lucky. Plus everyone loves them." He explained with a joyful smile.

"This time you have a good point." Anne agreed.

Diego and Aaron took a picture with a snake around their necks when they arrived in the snake's pit just to show how brave they were.

"The snake is on drugs." Denise observed, giving no credit to their courage.

"So was that koala you hugged just half an hour ago!" Aaron replied.

"Really?"

"Yes. It doesn't look like it, but koalas can be very aggressive. They are wild animals, not teddy bears. Those claws can pierce your eyes in a second. Koalas are not looking forward for you to cuddle them and smile to the camera."

Denise didn't like the idea but it made some sense and after all, Aaron was Australian. He was supposed to know what he was talking about.

During lunch Aaron sat in front of Sofia and discretely set his gaze on her, but not discretely enough to deceive Denise who was paying attention and saw very clearly when his interest was continuously set on her friend's green eyes.

Sofia was totally absorbed by Anne who was telling them how she was followed in Jamaica by someone trying to sell her drugs and how Diego nearly got arrested for smoking them. Aaron's flirt proved to be a waste of time since the young doctor didn't pay him any attention.

Denise didn't miss a thing and as soon as they were alone after work that evening, she asked her friend if she had noticed the computer officer.

"Notice what? Was there anything different about him today?"

"The way he was looking at you."

Sofia wasn't surprised. "I've been avoiding passing the wrong message. I thought that by now he would know that I'm not in that page."

"Your strategy isn't working. He didn't get his eyes off you today". Denise observed.

Sofia put the magazine she was looking at on the desk and faced her friend seriously. "I hope that's only your imagination."

"Why? He's very good looking and quite a nice guy too."

"Yes, but he has a very bad timing. I'm not looking for a boyfriend and there is no way I will reduce myself to an onboard relationship with a date to be over. No offense."

"None taken." Denise knew her friend didn't approve her choice. "Why do I have a feeling there is something else?"

Sofia took a deep breath. "Because there is. Do you want to know why I came to work here?"

"I'm listening."

"The hospital where I worked in Dublin is quite big and I worked there a couple of months without getting to know even half of my colleagues. You know how it is with our crazy schedules and so many different departments. One day I felt pain on the right side of my tummy, we did some tests and I had to get an appendectomy. That was when I met Kieran, the surgeon who operated on me and who I had seen only a few times from a distance. After the surgery he came to see me frequently, we realized we had a lot in common and became good friends. Two months later we were a lot more than friends."

"You fell in love with the guy that operated on you? That's not very romantic!" Denise observed, teasing.

"Yes, I fell in love with the guy who removed my appendix. And I found that Kieran was not the arrogant bastard everyone talked about. He's a great professional who cares about his job and his patients. The fact that he liked to keep to himself only made me more interested. You know I don't like people who show off. We were together for almost two years, until recently." Sofia continued.

"What happened? You don't love each other anymore?"

"No. I love him as much as I always did and he keeps sending me emails saying he wants me to go back to him."

"What's the problem then?" Denise asked impatiently.

Sofia sighed. "Being a surgeon, Kieran's time is very limited, and I'm a doctor too. My schedule is not much better. We didn't have a lot of free time to spend together; the little we had was a delight for us and we were very happy. You know it's complicated for doctors to be in relationships, especially with other doctors. We spend so much time working and studying to be on the top of our game that often we become emotionally handicapped because we never have time to know how to handle relationships. One day the little time Kieran and I had for each other was over."

"Why?"

Denise watched a play of emotions cross over Sofia's face.

"A tragedy. Jamie, Kieran's six year old nephew died of leukemia last year, on the last week of December. We did everything we could, tried every possible treatment; nothing worked. He died during my shift. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. Jamie's parents understood and never blamed any of us, much less Kieran, but somehow he couldn't stop blaming himself. The big surgeon who saves so many lives couldn't save his own kin. It was too much for him and after that he changed to a point I couldn't recognize him anymore. He refused to talk, he wouldn't get out of the hospital; every surgery, every new patient was an excuse for him to stay there. We stopped seeing each other because he was always working. I asked him to get help but he refused to admit he needed it and I started feeling desperate. I swear I didn't know what to do anymore. Then one day he came to my apartment and told me he wanted to make it better for us and invited me for dinner in my favorite restaurant the next day. I got all dressed up to meet him there but he never showed up. He left me waiting like an idiot without even a phone call. I went to the hospital because he didn't answer the phone and they told me he was in surgery operating on a pregnant woman victim of a bad car accident. I know he did what he had to do and I'm glad he saved her life and the baby, but I couldn't take it anymore. The next morning I took a leave of absence and went to my house in Portugal for a while. Then I came here."

Denise looked at her amazed. "How did you manage to leave without him knowing?"

"We didn't live together so he didn't see me packing. I went to the hospital while he was in the O.R. and didn't answer his calls. My friend Ailish took me to the airport. She's the only one who knows where I am. I didn't have the courage to break up or to say goodbye, so I didn't."

Denise kept looking at her, mesmerized. "That's really something. I don't know how you were able to leave him if you love him so much."

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done." She confessed gloomily. "It was very tempting for me to stay because I wanted him so much, even if I had to settle for a lot less than I deserved. It would have been easier to just accept whatever Kieran wanted to give me but I'm so glad I didn't. On the long term I would have been miserable."

"Do you have a plan or you're just taking it by the day and waiting to see what happens?" Denise asked, still amazed that Sofia had done something like that. She wished she had the same strength and soundness of mind to deal with her own situation.

"I don't have any plans anymore. Kieran needs time and space to find closure first. That's why I left him. I want to go back to him, but not to that cold distant working machine he became. I want my Kieran back, the one I fell in love with. He was the one who once told me that the most frustrating thing for a doctor is the amount of patients we can't save. We're not God. When he remembers that, I'll go back to him. If he keeps refusing to accept our reality then I will have to let him go. Sometimes you have to let go..." She answered vaguely and sadly.

# 8

The ship was scheduled to dock at eight but Sofia was on deck 16 long before that, ready to see the arrival in Sydney Harbor, with the camera hanging around her neck and the sun glasses ready to protect her sensitive eyes from the strong morning light. As they sailed through and entered the Harbor, more people showed up to admire the stunning view.

"The only place I can think of where entering a port is even more amazing than here is Venice. Other than that, Sydney is the place to go." Aaron said, his voice coming from behind her.

Sofia was a bit surprised to see him. She turned around slowly with the sun hitting her face and making her frown.

"It's beautiful. It must be amazing to live in a city like this."

"It certainly is." He confirmed. "I grew up here, going to the beach all the time and surfing with my mates. Australia is a great country, just a bit too far away from everywhere else."

Sofia nodded, remembering that even Indonesia and New Zealand were a few hours flying from Australia.

"Are you going to see your family today?" She enquired trying to make small talk.

"I'm going to have them onboard as visitors. I'll be too busy today to go anywhere. My day will be between my office and the terminal building. Embarkation is always hectic and I have a new assistant that needs to be properly trained before I can leave him alone. Next time we're here I might get a few hours off and relax." Aaron explained, not sounding too upset to be stuck onboard.

Sofia could sense there was something more he wanted to say but she didn't want to hear it and she was happy that he didn't take advantage of being alone with her to bring up things she preferred not to address.

As the ship approached the dock she could see the Harbor Bridge, the downtown buildings and the emblematic Opera House.

"I have a few hours off this afternoon. Can't wait to go out!" She said with her eyes fixed on the building that identifies Sydney before the world.

Aaron smiled, used to people's reaction to Sydney's beauty.

"We're in the best place possible. As you can see, it takes about five minutes to walk to the Opera House. The Botanic Gardens are up the road and if you have time and energy take a walk up Elizabeth St. and turn right on the intersection with Market St. That will take you straight to Darling Harbor. It's lovely there. If not, we'll be here again in twenty days." He suggested casually, not flirting like he normally did. Sofia found that refreshing.

Aaron offered to take some photos and she posed happily with the Opera House on the background. Many other passengers and crew did the same. The skies were blue, the sun was high in the sky and the day had everything to be perfect.

Sofia left the ship in the afternoon and rushed to the port where everything was going on. There were crowds everywhere, street artists, vendors, color and life. She particularly liked the guys dressed up and painted like aborigines playing didgeridoos. There were restaurants, bars and gift shops all over the water front and on the left just a bit ahead the entrance to the ferry boats that take people to different parts of the city. One of them pointed the zoo and she remembered someone saying that the Sydney giraffes have the best view in the city. Another few steps and there it was: the Opera House. For many it was just a building with a unique shape. But it was a lot more than that. It was a symbol, a link to a country and a city, a feature that didn't exist anywhere else in the world.

She took pictures form the stairs, the front, sides and back. In twenty minutes she had photos of every possible angle. Another tourist took some shots of her with the building just behind.

The next destination was the Botanic Gardens that she found up the road, like Aaron had pointed out. The entrance was easy to find. The first thing she saw was the sign saying Please walk on the grass. We also invite you to smell the roses, hug the trees, talk to the birds and picnic on the lawns.

She went for a walk following the paths and found it all very pretty and relaxing. Here and there just behind the canopy of a tree the buildings from the city center stood up in a straight line, reminding the visitors of how closely nature meets urban. She found a seat near a fountain with a cupid. A strange bird with a long black beak approached to investigate her bag.

"Hi birdie." Sofia said.

The bird ignored her and went back into the bush.

"So much for talking to birds." She chuckled.

There were a few people in the gardens, but it didn't feel overcrowded. After three weeks on a ship with almost five thousand souls that was a great feeling.

As she walked along another path she saw that in most trees there were big dark bats hung upside down making very loud sounds. Sofia didn't feel comfortable with them but she couldn't resist taking some pictures. The odd creatures didn't look interested in her, or in getting out of their perch high on the trees, but being animals of the night it was strange that they were awake at that time of the day with the sun shining just above. Shouldn't they be living in a cave somewhere and come out at night like normal bats? She kept walking forward and looking up, nearly bumping into a bench where a familiar face observed her silently.

"They are only fruit bats." A voice said.

Sofia turned her head down and found Diego sitting by himself.

"Hi Diego. What are you doing here all alone?" She asked, surprised to see him.

"Probably the same as you. I like to come here. Good place to put my thoughts in order." He answered, looking quite relaxed on the bench with his legs stretched, sun glasses on, a dark green t-shirt and brown shorts. His black hair waved slightly with the breeze. Sofia sat next to him.

"Noisy little things, aren't they?"

"Noisy, yes. Little, no. They are actually quite big for a bat. When the sun goes down and they start flying over your head you'll see what I mean."

"Are they dangerous?"

"Only for the fruit. You have nothing to worry about. They won't bite your neck and turn you into a vampire." He joked. "These fellows are vegetarian and apart from the noise and a few drops here and there, there's no damage to report."

Sofia laughed, relieved. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Working. It's one of those days for her. Next cruise is my turn to get stuck onboard. Major crew change in Auckland."

"That's too bad. This seems like the kind of place where you could enjoy good company."

Diego put his sun glasses on top of his head and she noticed a shade of green in his brown eyes.

"Ship's life! Anyway, I have good company now. Would you like to come for a stroll with me? Just as friends, of course. You know I have a girlfriend and since she's your friend let's keep it simple, ok? I don't do complicated."

Sofia giggled. "Do you ever say anything serious?"

"Only if I can't help it!" He replied with a grin and she understood that when you have a certain lifestyle making jokes might be the smartest way to deal with reality. Jokes are a good place to hide, almost as good as silence.

While they walked together and talked, Sofia got to know a new version of Diego and it started to make a bit more sense why Denise liked him. Sofia learned that there was a human being in him, a person with a heart, concerns and a lot of potential. Most times she had seen him before the impression he transmitted was of a childish, sometimes annoying and mostly selfish boy who knew how to be nice and funny but was very self-centered. Today he was a normal man and a very pleasant company.

That was typical with some people: the social mask they used and who they really were in private when they were not trying to show off or impress their friends who normally were as silly as them. Sofia liked this version of Diego better and listened to all his explanations with genuine interest. Since he apparently knew so much about Australia she asked some more questions which he answered one by one without even thinking. They stopped for a sandwich in one of the bars on the way to the port.

"It looks like you know Sydney really well." She observed as they sat down with the improvised lunch and cans of soda.

"I had a girlfriend who lived here and after my first contract I came to Sydney on holiday for two months with her." He justified and his smile disappeared.

"How badly did she break your heart?"

"How do you know she broke my heart?"

"I'm a doctor. It's my job to be a good observer." Sofia said with conviction.

"Very, very badly." Diego confessed, speaking like that was a reason to be embarrassed.

Sofia put down her drink and looked him in the eyes hoping to find more. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"An Italian engineer. After that holiday we spent together I had to wait home for another month so we could go to the same ship. She joined before me. I was so in love I would have done any sacrifice only to be with her. I believed she was the love of my life. Then when I joined the ship she told me she was interested in this engineer and left me. Just like that." He put the sun glasses back on and Sofia pretended not to see a tear falling down his left cheek.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been very hard for you."

Diego finished his sandwich and looked away to the horizon line. "I can't even explain how much. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

Sofia knew she shouldn't bring it up, but curiosity spoke louder and she took the chance to dig a bit more into his thoughts.

"What about Denise? Where does she stand?"

Diego sighed. "I like Denise. I know sometimes she thinks I don't but I care a lot about her. I'm not very good with relationship. She knows that. I never lied to her."

"Not lying doesn't mean always telling the truth. You know that, don't you?" She asked, hoping that he would think about it.

"I know. And I'm not very good with words either."

She took his arm, knowing it was the appropriate time to stop asking personal questions. They walked the street down to the harbor and back to the ship.

"What defines who you are, is what you do not the words you use and not the ghosts from your past. As much as something strikes you, if it's over, it's over. Leave it where it belongs and move forward. A breakup is like a cut. It might leave a scar, but the pain goes away."

He nodded with a sheepish smile and they returned to the Ocean Pearl in silence. Sofia knew from that moment on that Denise would lose the boyfriend she cared so much about. He wasn't ready to be who she needed him to be. Diego had a long way to go and Denise was already there. Some things just weren't meant to be.

At the same time she reflected in everything they had talked about, Sofia wondered if Diego realized that he was going to end up doing to Denise the same thing that his ex-girlfriend had done to him and hurt her the same way he had been hurt.

* * *

"Tell me all the dramas. I want to know everything." Sofia asked as soon as she set eyes on her friend who looked incredibly busy tidying up her messy desk in the cabin.

"What dramas?"

"I don't know. Whatever happened yesterday. Aren't turnaround days always full of adventure or something?"

"Are you that bored?"

Sofia nodded positively.

Denise took a moment to remember what was going on the day before. "It was actually not too bad. Busy but all right. I only had one couple of passengers shouting because they were fined by customs in the airport. They declared they weren't bringing any plants or food and they had seeds in their bag. They had to pay a fine to customs. When they got here it became our fault because we didn't tell them about the specific rules of customs and quarantine in Australia."

Sofia frowned. "As far as I know the landing card says that. It also says yes or no to all the questions. They said no when the answer was yes. Why would that be our fault?"

"Because someone needs to be blamed and they don't want to admit they screwed up. We're next in line. They come here and try their luck. What they are looking for is some sort of onboard credit." Denise clarified.

"People are so brainless!"

"Welcome to my world."

"Did anything funny happen? Anything amusing that I can laugh about?"

"Actually, yes. The funniest thing happened today." Denise giggled.

"Tell me. I could really use some amusement."

"A passenger came to the reception this morning and lucky her, she got Kevin, the duty clown of my team. She complained because her cabin is too small and doesn't have natural light. She is claustrophobic and blah, blah, blah. So Kevin, very kindly, took his keycard from his pocket, gave it to her and told her she could have his room instead."

Sofia laughed out loud. "How nice of him. And you keep saying you don't have a good team. Shame on you! Look how lovely they are..."

"Lovely, yes. And the woman went ballistic! Big complaint, big drama. Just between us, it was hilarious. One of the funniest scenes I've seen this contract."

"Did Kevin get in trouble?"

"Of course. He's getting a written warning, not that he cares about it because he's only here to have fun. That one came to this planet on holidays. I like him, but his laziness gets on my nerves. On the other hand he keeps people amused so we have to bear with him. Even Elaine was laughing about it, although she's the one giving him the warning." Denise said while she put some DVDs next to the television.

"I would love to have some fun too but I need to burn the calories from the crap I've been eating lately." Sofia declared feeling unusually negative.

They went to the gym as usual and as Sofia tried to get rid of her dark energy on the treadmill, she realized that apart from the time ashore and a few good nights with colleagues life onboard was pretty tedious. Sea days were always the same thing: get up, go for breakfast, go to work, lunch break, back to work, finish work, go to the gym, have dinner and go to bed. No wonder so many crew members drank like there was no tomorrow. Between the hard work, the demanding passengers and lack of entertainment alternatives, alcohol seemed very alluring.

Many crew members were fond of temporary sex based relationships often called friendships with benefits to get more excitement in their lives. Sex could be very entertaining but meaningless, shallow sleeping around was not to Sofia's taste. Several candidates had tried their luck, Aaron on top of the list, but she had firmly decided to either be in a proper relationship or be alone. Casual sex was something she despised.

She hadn't received any emails from Kieran lately. Maybe that was a good sign but she missed reading his words. She wanted to call and listen to the sound of his voice. It was only pride that prevented her from lifting the handset and dialing the numbers.

After one in the morning she was in bed reading a book, waiting for sleep to come. She was getting annoyed and thinking about going to the medical center to get some sleeping pills. Tomorrow she was going to have an early wakeup call and she wanted to be fit to do her job.

As the thought grew stronger in her mind an announcement came through the PA: code Alpha in Stardust Disco, deck 17 aft. Sofia took the emergency equipment and ran there as quickly as she could. Luckily for the man having a heart attack on the dance floor not only the night manager had arrived immediately with the defibrillator, there were also two nurses among the passengers who helped him right away. The medical team was able to restart his heart and after a moment of tension he was breathing again.

That was the most exciting moment Sofia had experienced since boarding the ship and although no one liked passengers to have heart attacks, she enjoyed being reminded of how being a doctor felt like. The passenger was taken to the medical center to be kept under observation during the night and disembarked into a hospital on land the following day.

Much to Sofia's disappointment the only things on the night report were a noise complaint from a crew party in some corridor on deck 3 and the heart attack that she already knew about.

Since the night report didn't brighten the day, she drove her attention to the port guide she took from the tour office the night before. Her knowledge of Melbourne and Australia in general was very limited. Her first surprise was to read that almost 3 million people live in the Melbourne area. She used to believe it was a much smaller town. Sofia learned that New South Wales was a district different from the others because it was founded by free settlers, not convicts.

The city was founded through fraud when some adventurer named John Batman, an Australian fluent in several aboriginal languages, made a deal with aborigines to lease the land on behalf of speculators. In return for a long term lease of 240.000 hectares of the finest land in the country, Batman gave the aborigines axes, flour, blankets and jewelry worth about 200£ at the time. Colonial administrators later declared that his leases weren't valid and that the government, not the aborigines, owned the land. After paying Batman compensation, they took over the territory and founded a settlement. Melbourne was Australia's first capital, until 1927 and the first Australian city to host the Olympic Games in 1956.

Feeling a little less ignorant, Sofia moved to the page where the curiosities were displayed and read that Melbourne had the largest Greek community in the world outside of Athens. "And who doesn't love a Greek salad?" she said loud enough to be heard by Mary who was just passing by.

"Hello. Did I hear Greek salad? It's not even eight o'clock in the morning!" The nurse asked with a warm smile.

"Hello. I was thinking about Greek salad for lunch and a small tour of the city. Do you want to come with me?"

"Sorry my dear, I already have plans. I'm going kayaking in Port Phillip Heads. You have fun and enjoy the salad. Just make sure you have something more substantial as well. Rabbit food won't give you much energy." She replied with a grin before disappearing again.

Sofia admired Mary. She was older than most crew but that didn't seem to stop her from having a great time. She was frequently involved in parties, sports activities and all sorts of events. The crew loved and respected her. She was a good example and Sofia felt happy for having a chance to work with someone so inspiring. However there was something darker about her as well and no one seemed to know what made Mary come to sea and stay for so long. There was definitely some mystery there. Everybody had a story and Sofia wanted to find out what Mary's story was.

Back to the port guide she looked at the city map on the back. The plan was to take the tram from the port to the city center and wander around, going where her feet took her.

As far as her eyes could reach, although looking nice, Melbourne was not that different from so many other cities in the world: traffic, tall buildings, people... The Yarra River gave it a special grace and the waterfront was lovely with good places to walk and lots of cute bridges.

Sofia hopped off in Flinders Street, close to the business and shopping district and the first thing she saw was the railway station, a beautiful and elegant building that was part of the icons list to see in the city. She walked from there to Swanston St. and it was the easiest thing to find a Greek restaurant and get that salad she had been thinking about.

After the light lunch she left the restaurant and went up road, or down road, not too sure about directions, but after a good while walking she arrived in the Shrine of Remembrance.

She could see the grey building with a shape similar to an ancient temple a good distance ahead. The day was warm and sunny and it was rather pleasant to walk underneath the trees feeling the soft breeze. As she made it through the Forecourt area dedicated to the World War II, she immediately saw the Eternal Flame, lit by Queen Elizabeth 2.

Already inside, in the visitors center, she learned that the Shrine of Remembrance was built in memory of those who died in the great war of 1914-1918, and armed conflicts and peace keeping duties ever since. Sofia felt a bit ashamed for not knowing that Australian soldiers had fought in the First World War.

She went to the Sanctuary and stopped there for a moment, reading the Stone of Remembrance, a dark marble stone below the pavement where visitors had to bow to read the inscription: GREATER LOVE HATH NO MAN. As she kept looking at the words someone behind her was talking about the Ray of Light, a special feature that someone very skilled put together. Every year on November 11th at 11am, the Ray of Light falls over the word LOVE on the Stone of Remembrance. The time and date commemorate the end of the hostilities in the First World War.

She moved from there to the Ambulatory, a narrow walkway around the Sanctuary. She observed the 42 caskets containing the books with the names of every Victorian who enlisted to active service in the 1914-1918 war or died in camp prior to embarkation, and there were so many! Another book contained a message from King George V: LET THEIR NAMES BE FOR EVER HELD IN PROUD REMEMBRANCE. Were they really? Sofia wondered how many times in today's busy world people stop for a moment to think about the millions who died and continue to die at wars.

She remembered the story her father used to tell her about how her grandfather committed suicide because of the war in Angola. If it wasn't for that stupid war he could have lived a normal life, her father would have been a different person and maybe he too would still be alive. It was after the war that the desperate greed and ambition took over him. If instead he had been just a normal man, things could have followed a very different course and he probably wouldn't have been murdered. She didn't know who had been responsible for killing him, but she was well aware of the kind of person he was and could only imagine what sort of things he had done to motivate someone to take his life.

The process had been recently archived. There were never any real suspects in the long list of candidates the police put together and the evidence left wasn't enough to be traced to the killer. Whoever had killed her father was free, at least from jail. She wished that the person who put a bomb in her father's car had to live with a heavy conscience for the remaining of his or her life.

Out in the Remembrance Garden, Sofia found peace and tranquility. That garden was built to remember those who fought in conflicts after 1945 and the names of the conflicts are engraved in the stone wall: Korea, Malaya, Borneo, Vietnam, Kuwait, Balkans, Cambodia, Somalia and East Timor. She read the list one more time, sad that people didn't understand that it doesn't matter how much territory they conquest, how many nations they subdue, how much riches they gather, they will still be mortal and sooner or later their bodies will be buried together with their so called enemies under that same ground they were fighting for.

Before she noticed, three hours had passed since she had left the ship and it was almost time to get back onboard and find out if there was anyone sick to take care off.

The tram took almost half an hour and Sofia felt her legs aching as she had to stand up because all the seats were taken. She had a shower, put on her uniform and with a few minutes to spare she tried to get a coffee before work. Carla bumped into her in the corridor.

"Did you hear what happened?" She asked Sofia.

"No. I just came back from the city. What's going on?"

"Big fight in the atrium bar on deck 5. Two passengers. One of them threw a bottle to the other one's head and he now looks like Frankenstein. He's got this huge cut on his forehead." Carla explained, exemplifying with gestures.

"What?! What is wrong with these people?"

"According to Frankenstein who's in the medical center with Ryan and Mary, it had something to do with a girl, lots of testosterone and a good mix of alcoholic beverages."

The situation was serious but Sofia had to giggle. "Why am I not surprised? Damn stupid people. What happened to the one who threw the bottle?"

"He was taken by the police. Frankenstein is getting disembarked into a hospital. I hope he can afford a really good plastic surgeon." Carla noted.

Sofia went to the medical center where Ryan gave her the updates on the latest events and told her that the next time he was going ashore and she could handle the dramas. She nodded in agreement and through the open doors she could see the big white bandage around the patient's head.

"I guess Carla was right. Hope he can afford plastic surgery." She whispered.

"You bet." He answered at the same time he received a message through the radio announcing the arrival of the ambulance.

Sofia opened the medical center hoping that no one would come in with an open forehead or big bloody cuts in any part of their body. She was too tired to deal with trauma.

By seven Sofia tried to reach Denise but she was no longer in the office. She answered the pager from a number on deck 15 and told her to go to the wedding chapel. Sofia didn't understand the mystery or what her friend could possibly be doing in the wedding chapel so she took the elevator and went there to check. She opened the port side door discretely although there was no one around and closed it right behind her. There were chairs on both sides, a narrow aisle and candle holders decorated with flowers and ribbons. In the front there was a small stage and on the left a big white piano which Denise was playing masterfully. Without saying a word Sofia took a seat in one of the chairs in the front row and just listened to the music.

Denise's fingers were flowing swiftly across the ivory keys of the piano and the room was filled with the most beautiful music. The purser looked askance at her friend and smiled slightly. None of them spoke until she finished and the room became silent again. Sofia clapped happily and Denise smiled broadly and thanked her.

"Oh my God. You are full of surprises. I had no idea you could play like that. How did you get to be that good?" The doctor asked impressed. "I had lessons when I was a kid but my teacher said I was useless and should stay away from the piano."

Denise chuckled. "I had piano lessons since I was five. For years I practiced hours every day and I wanted to be a professional pianist but when I was sixteen I had an accident skiing, broke my wrist and could never play to the demand of a professional level again. It really hurts when I play for a long time." She explained.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but you're still such a great player. Your music is beautiful. Does anyone else here know how well you play?" Sofia asked.

"Only Alice, the wedding coordinator, and the bandmaster. She tells me when this room is available and he gave me permission to practice. I've only started doing this recently. No one else knows. This is my little secret, my private temple onboard. Please don't tell anyone."

"Sure. You know I won't. Did Diego ever hear you play?" Sofia enquired out of curiosity.

"No. He doesn't even know I can read music."

"Why didn't you tell him? I'm sure he would love to listen."

"Maybe. But if he really cared about who I am and the things that matter to me he would have paged me like you did. I don't want to share everything I am with a person who doesn't consider me a priority in his life and prefers to spend the little free time we have playing and drinking with his friends." Denise justified.

Sofia thought that was not the right attitude but instead of getting in an argument about being flexible and trying new strategies, she asked her friend to play a little more. Denise was happy to share her talent and Sofia recognized a Prelude by Bach and the famous song written by Michael Nyman for the movie The Piano, one of her favorites.

# 9

Every first formal night of the cruise there was a party hosted by the captain to welcome those passengers who regularly traveled with the cruise line, either on the Ocean Pearl or any other vessel of the fleet. Denise was scheduled to attend and she unwillingly put on her formal uniform and made her way to Club Atmosphere where the party was held.

The previous party both her and Ian had gotten in trouble for not attending. He was too busy in the office and assumed she would go. She was also busy and thought he was going. When none of them showed up Elaine went ballistic. As a reward, Denise and Ian were on schedule for two parties in a row.

"She must think I'm here on holidays." Denise grumbled on the way to deck 7, holding her long black skirt to avoid tripping.

"You know Elaine loves to play the boss." Diego replied dismissively, thinking his girlfriend was making an unnecessary drama.

"Is Sofia coming?" Ian asked when the three of them ducked through the service door on the port side.

"She said she was going to give us her moral support."

"I better not be the only one dressed up as a penguin just to make the two of you less lonely when that lady over there finds you." Diego retorted pointing at Elaine who was by the main door talking to the food & beverage manager.

Club Atmosphere was almost empty only with the bar staff and some crew members hanging around. There was a massive queue of passengers outside but the doors wouldn't be opening for another five minutes or so.

Elaine turned around with a smile that Ian thought was nice, Denise believed was evil and Diego couldn't care less. She was holding a check list on her hand and that made Ian change his mind about her smile being nice.

"Hello. So, you did show up this time. How nice. Even you Diego." Her musical voice had a twinge of irony.

"My girlfriend wanted company."

"Let me just remind you that your girlfriend is here to socialize with the passengers. Since you decided to come I would appreciate if you could do the same. Help them find seats when they come in and don't forget the pep talk." She said more as an order than a suggestion.

He was going to remind her that his girlfriend didn't have the best social skills but the first purser disappeared with her check list to talk to the hotel director as soon as he walked in and Diego turned his attention to a tray of cocktails.

"Damn it. I was planning to do a quick exit but she's going to be sniffing until the freaking' party is over." Denise chided.

"I don't remember seeing this kind of stuff in my job description."

"Cam 'on guys. Stop complaining and enjoy the party." Ian suggested with a grin.

"Ian, your permanent happiness is really annoying sometimes." Denise pointed out and he giggled.

"Someone has to be happy around here. Imagine the disappointment the passengers would feel it they came in here and found us all grumpy."

Denise snorted and moved to the center of the venue.

Sofia and Keira arrived just about two minutes before the doors opened and the party started. They joined their friends until Elaine found the group.

"Okay people, you need to start moving and help find seats for the passengers. Make them feel welcome, all right?" She ordered, not happy that they were engaging each other instead of the passengers.

The front desk supervisor shrugged. "It only lasts about forty five minutes." She mumbled under her breath.

"What's with you and parties?" Keira enquired.

A passenger was just passing by and she took a moment before answering to make sure the wrong hears wouldn't get any message they were not supposed to. "Let's say I would prefer a party where I could wear a dress that made me look good, listen to music I like and not have to pretend that I care about how many times these people have sailed with us before."

Keira rolled her eyes and Ian choked a guffaw. Diego tried to imagine how Denise would look like in a short tight black dress. Maybe she had one somewhere. She would certainly look very... tasty. The thought made him grin just on time for another killer look from Elaine.

The bar staff started serving drinks and canapés to the passengers and shortly after the captain came on stage and welcomed the passengers with a few jokes and some entertaining stories. He distributed smiles, posed for pictures and answered the usual questions, just like in every cruise.

The captain was a happy man and he found his life satisfying. The fact that he had to do the same things, answer the same questions and hear the same observations every cruise didn't bother him at all. He liked the passengers and he was glad to be a part of such a happy time in their lives. In the end he would go back to his cabin, have a glass of whiskey with a couple of colleagues and maybe read a book before going to bed. Every couple of months his wife joined him onboard. His life was good. That was why, to his family's dismay, he had been unwilling to retire. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he had to stay home very long.

Denise, Sofia, Diego, Keira and Ian were out the door and on the way to the officer's mess the moment the speech was over.

While they were picking up the food from the menu all the medical pagers went off at the same time. The same happened to the bridge officers and engineers who had their meals interrupted and ran to the only phone available.

"Emergency? We didn't hear a code." Ian observed, confused.

"The bridge just spotted a boat adrift. It looks like there might be someone inside but they're not sure yet. The ship is stopping as we speak and the rescue boat is being lowered. We'll find out if they need us in a few minutes." Keira explained in a very calm and professional voice.

The deck crew had difficulties trying to keep the curious passengers from getting too close and disturb the rescue operation but they managed. In just a few minutes the speed boat was back, the gun port opened on deck 4 and a large group of officers, including the entire medical team, waited patiently. Two men were taken from the boat into stretchers. The doctors did a brief examination right there. They were both alive, but in very bad shape.

The castaways were taken immediately to the medical center and the doors were closed behind while the doctors conducted a more thorough examination. Dehydration, sunburns and starvation were evident but it was too soon to tell for sure how long they had been at sea and if there was anything else wrong with them.

They ran blood tests, x-rays and put them on IV. Exhaustion kept them asleep. They needed as much rest as they could get and Ryan gave them a good dose of medication.

"Any possible ID?" Carla enquired.

"No. The deckies found them with just their clothes and fishing equipment. No documents at all."

"They look Malaysian or maybe Indonesian." Sofia observed after analyzing their features.

"We're going to get a few crew members who speak those languages to be on standby in case they wake up. Someone must be terribly worried about these poor fellows. We need to be able to contact the families as soon as possible." Ryan murmured.

"Poor? I would say they are damn lucky. What were the odds of one of the watch keepers seeing the boat, especially at night?" Carla pointed out.

"True. This might have been just like winning the lottery, but still. They are not out of danger yet."

"If they made it this far alive, then we'll do everything we know to keep their hearts beating." Sofia affirmed and they all agreed with a pang of emotion.

Someone knocked on the crew door. Carla opened and the captain and staff captain walked in, still wearing their formal uniforms.

"Hello." Everyone greeted.

"So, how are they?" The captain asked.

"Apparently not that bad. They need liquids, food and a lot of rest. Everything else looks all right. They don't have any visible injuries. We will still have to wait until they wake up to be completely sure of their condition thought." Ryan briefed them.

Andrew, the staff captain, smiled contently. "That's very good news."

"Well, I'm going to make an announcement for the passengers. There's a lot of mouth-to-mouth speculation going on. Let me give them an update." The captain said before he excused himself.

"Captain." Ryan interrupted. "If we do find where they came from I still want to keep them onboard for a few days. They need to get stronger. I don't like the idea of moving them yet."

The captain knew head office wouldn't be very keen on having people in the medical center that hadn't paid for a cruise and most certainly wouldn't have health insurance. However, being such a special situation, he trusted they would understand.

"Whatever you find necessary doctor. Please keep me informed." The captain replied cheerfully.

"I will."

"Good job everyone." He said just before he walked out the door where the staff captain was already waiting, eager to get to the bridge.

The patients were monitored all night and the entire next morning. The younger one woke up around eleven and the older, three hours later.

Carla's guess proved accurate. After trying a couple of translators they discovered that the castaways, father and son, were from the Indonesian island of Sumatra. A deck attendant from the same island was assigned to stay in the medical center to help with communication.

Ryan and Sofia's joy for their good recover gave turn to absolute amazement when they heard the patients had been adrift for five days.

"It's almost a miracle that they are still alive."

"Yes. The sun alone could have killed them. They were so incredibly lucky."

"They ate raw fish." The deck attendant explained, translating the words that the younger man managed to say very slowly.

"Yes. Their fishing nets saved them."

"Survival instinct is such a powerful thing." Ryan observed balancing on his chair.

The sun light came in through the portholes and illuminated the entire room. The light seemed to make the young man feel better.

"What about the family?" With all the excitement they had totally forgotten that someone at home would be very worried.

The deck attendant turned to the young man and asked for contacts. When he took note of the phone number for a man who owned a phone on the island on a manila pad, Sofia gave him a phone and dialed the code for an outside line.

Although it was impossible for any of them to understand one word of the conversation, his expression and broad smile were easy to read. Someone on the other side was extremely happy.

"The family thought they were dead. A bunch of people from the village have been looking for them since they went missing. They asked me to tell you that they are most grateful to you and will be praying for your souls." He said after the phone call was over.

Sofia and Ryan looked at each other and smiled widely.

"How did they get lost in the middle of the ocean anyway?"

"They were fishing at sunset, the engine didn't work when they tried to return home and at night they lost orientation. The strong currents did the rest."

Ryan frowned. "The currents did a hell of a job dragging them all the way to the Tasmanian Sea."

Ian came in that moment and interrupted their conversation.

"You medical people are in serious trouble." He started and Ryan chuckled.

"What did we do this time?"

"I heard you are hiding people without documents onboard. That's illegal." He snickered.

"Sorry mate. We'll keep that in mind next time. For now it's all about team work. We give them to you alive and in the best shape possible; you find a way to get them off the ship and fly them home without a passport."

"Right." Ian nodded in agreement. "That shouldn't be too hard. How are they anyway?"

"They will be just fine." Sofia confirmed with a broad smile.

# 10

It was the ship's first call in New Zealand and Denise was having one of those strange mornings in the back office. Before her butt could warm up the chair, Paul made a scene because Nick was mocking him. Pinching her arm to make sure she was not still asleep, the front desk supervisor felt tempted to ask for details, just for the sake of curiosity, but Paul volunteered the information before she could ask.

"I've been dating this dancer, Daniel, and last night I found him giving another guy a blow job in the bathroom by the crew bar. I was really upset about him cheating on me, he hurt my feelings so much. And Nick is mocking me about it. Please tell him to stop." Paul begged with a girlie voice, almost crying.

Denise stared at him incredulously, trying not to throw up. That Paul was the gayest person on the fleet was a confirmed fact, but coming to the back office at eight o'clock in the morning talking about his boyfriend and details she didn't want to know about was simply beyond her worst nightmares.

"So?" He asked impatiently since his supervisor was still looking at him speechless.

"Paul, I'll give you too choices. You can either start acting like a man or find another job. Now get out of my office and don't come back unless it's to tell me about professional issues. And please tell Nick to come see me." Denise told him with an authority she rarely had to use.

Paul left upset because her reply was not exactly what he was expecting, but at least she was calling Nick. Maybe he would get in trouble after all.

One minute later Nick walked into the office with the usual grin, grabbed Denise's startled face and gave her a big kiss on each cheek.

"Nick. My favorite clown. I believe you have an explanation for me..."

"Cam' on Denise." He started with a wicked smile.

"Don't Denise me! I'm here doing my best to be a good supervisor, giving you nice breaks in the ports, pretending I don't know that you count your money once a cruise when you should do it every day and closing my eyes to the fact that you keep breaking the rules and sleeping with passengers. And how do you thank me? You make trouble."

Nick knelt theatrically on the floor in front of her and held her right hand.

"You know I'm only sleeping with passengers because Diego got to you first." He answered and kissed her hand with reverence.

She withdrew her hand quickly and acted furious. "Stop that! Save your charm for the freaking' passengers or for Elaine when she finds out about your side entertainment schedule. If I get any more dramas from Paul, I swear I'll put you on the night shift for the rest of your contract." Denise threatened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Paul is such a drama queen I just can't help it. He's worse than a girl."

"I know. And that drama queen came here when I'm still not entirely functioning to tell me things I don't want to know about. You stay away from him and his gay dramas, because if I hear any more stories about guys giving blow jobs to each other I swear I'm going to scream."

"I'll try. Promise." He replied humbly and left her alone with her untouched cold coffee and her unread emails.

Not even half hour later, Paul returned with his dramatic look.

"This better have nothing to do with Nick."

"Nick is in the back office doing god-knows-what. I have a couple of passengers who want to talk to you." He clarified.

"What is it about?"

"Something related to disembarking."

Denise looked at their cabin number in the computer screen to check their names. Edward Lawson, 24 and Caroline Lewis, 22, both from Idaho. There was nothing on record about them.

In the front, right by Paul's station, a very embarrassed Edward told her that his girlfriend wanted to disembark the next day.

"That can be arranged, if you wish. But may I ask you the reason?"

"I invited Caroline to come on this cruise to commemorate our first year together and she's been miserable." The passenger replied with disappointment.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to change your mind?" Denise asked the girl, wondering if her unhappiness had anything to do with the cruise.

"No, thank you. I want to go home because I really miss my family. I've never been separated from them before." Caroline replied, joyless.

Denise thought it must be freak's day and someone forgot to tell her. Edward didn't say anything else but it was easy to read his frustration. It had to be a big disappointment for a young man who brought his 22 year old girlfriend on a cruise that she was unhappy because she missed mommy and daddy. Denise asked if Caroline would be disembarking by herself.

"Yes, she will. I'm staying onboard, since I paid for the cruise." He explained gazing at his girlfriend.

"All right then. I'll arrange with the administration officer for you to leave the ship tomorrow morning. We'll call you to give you the details."

The couple thanked her and left, apart enough from each other for Denise to know that those two were over. Paul looked at Denise with deep sadness.

"I guess that's the end of another beautiful love story." He murmured.

"Paul, do me a favor. Take the rest of the day off." Denise ordered.

"Are you serious? Why?"

"Because you need to fix your broken heart and I can't hear anything else from you. So you go to your cabin, do whatever you want for the rest of the day and please don't tell me any details."

Paul thanked her, took the float out of the drawer and left before she could change her mind.

"Can I get a day off too?" Allison asked with a kidding tone.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't give Paul a day off. I gave myself a day off from him. Totally different."

"Please..." She begged.

"Allison, dear, Paul already spent my quota of patience for the day, don't you start pushing your luck. Not today."

Allison gave her a wink. "Tomorrow then."

* * *

In the medical center, things were not much better and Sofia lost her patience with a crew member who had syphilis and confessed to be having regular sex without protection just after another one who had asked for blood tests because he wasn't sure if he had a STD. Damn crew members and their stupid messy sex lives!

Like that wasn't enough, crossing the Tasmanian Sea had been a bit of a nightmare and many passengers were still complaining of sea sickness. According to Andrea it was one of those places where it was a matter of luck to have a quiet ocean.

Fiordland National Park was a day for scenic cruising which included Milford Sound and Dusky Sound. The ship didn't dock anywhere. The idea was to appreciate the stunning landscape and the passengers would be outside on the open decks or in the balconies.

The most interesting part started around eleven and the medical center team still got a chance to see a good bit of the absolutely amazing scenery surrounding the ship during lunch break. Carla, Sofia, Mary and Keira put on jumpers because it was very cold in the area and found a spot on deck 16 aft. As soon as the ship entered Milford Sound a voice came up on the speakers. There was a port guide on the bridge with a microphone, giving information to the passengers about what they were seeing. It was a good idea. Most people would only relate to it as another pretty place to take pictures but Milford Sound was a lot more than just a pretty place. It was actually considered the eighth wonder of the world.

Captain Cook and his crew were the first Europeans to visit Fiordland and in 1773 they spent five weeks in the area. His maps and descriptions attracted sealers and whalers who formed the first European settlements of New Zealand. From the middle of the nineteenth century, surveyors, explorers and prospectors began to penetrate the unexplored interior of Fiordland.

The group observed the mountain peaks quilted with green vegetation and it was not hard to imagine the wide valleys hiding just behind the big walls of thick rock.

Milford Sound owes some of its allure to the 23 foot of rain that falls here every year, nourishing the lush grasses and forests. Nowhere else in the area do the mountains stand as tall, straight out of the sea like in the foreground of the Fiords. The legendary Mitre Park dominates the skyline.

From his privileged spot, the guide explained that the Maori were the first to attribute the creation of the Fiords to a 'titanic mason'. They couldn't find any other explanation to comprehend the sheer breadth of geological events that created this seemingly perfect sculpture, as the cliffs rose vertically upward from the ocean.

"Wow! This is just spectacular." Sofia said, taking dozens of pictures.

Angry waves battered against the walls of the cliffs and sprayed clouds of sea foam towards the rocks.

Crew and passengers admired the view and many forgot to go for lunch as the ship made her way through mountains and waterfalls.

"You know what? I'm really happy there are still things in this world that can surprise me." Sofia said to no one in particular.

Mary sighed. "That's something you might feel a few time in New Zealand. This country has such a variety of landscapes, from the farmlands to the rivers, gorges and plains to mountains like these ones. I love it here. It's simply amazing."

Sofia changed the settings on her camera to get a lower shutter speed so she could create a nice effect with the waterfall, and took some more pictures before they had to go inside. If she couldn't get anything else out of her time at sea, at least she had plenty of great photos to look at.

By twelve o'clock Denise escaped to her cabin, put on one of Diego's large t-shirts and had a bowl of cereal with a yogurt she found in the fridge. She opened the curtains and admired the view from the one place where she could still have some peace of mind. Twenty minutes later Diego came in and found her sitting on the bed staring at the portholes.

"Hey. What's going on? How come you didn't show up for lunch?"

"I wasn't hungry." She said vaguely, her eyes fixed outside.

Diego sat next to her and played with her hair. "Talk to me. What's taking your appetite?"

She drummed a weak smile. "I work every day for six months, I'm Leah's favorite target, I'm an occasional actress and a guess entertainer, I'm a supervisor to a bunch of idiots, a duty shrink and now I'm also a kindergarten teacher!"

"Oh, come here." He pulled her on a tight hug. "And you are also my girlfriend. Let me take care of you, at least until three o'clock."

He sat on the bed with his back to the wall and pulled her close until her back was completely supported by his chest. Then he held her in his arms.

"How are you planning to take care of me?" She asked with a coy smile.

"I'm going to hug you and kiss you and tell you many jokes to make you laugh until you forget all your dramas."

Denise turned around and kissed his lips softly. "That works for me." She only wished he had that kind of idea more often. When they spent moments like that together she could imagine having a future with him.

* * *

Another day went fast and just after closing the medical center in the afternoon, Sofia received a message from Denise on her pager 'Emergency. Call me'. She dialed the back office number and her friend answered right away.

"What's the emergency?" Sofia asked.

"Nothing too serious. The guys are having a boy's night out. We need revenge." Denise answered cheerfully.

"Are you kidding? You scared me! I thought there was something serious going on." Sofia retorted.

"It is serious, from my perspective at least. Come on, you know me. In a real emergency you would have heard a code alpha by now."

"All right. What do you have in mind?"

"Girl's night in my cabin. I was thinking about some snacks, drinks, maybe movies and lots of girl talk." She suggested.

Sofia hadn't done that in a long time and the idea was appealing. Definitely more interesting than the wardie or the crew bar.

"Done. We can use my cabin, it's a bit bigger. Bring the snacks and I'll take care of the drinks. I'll invite my nurses and you invite whoever you like."

"Perfect. Is nine good?"

"Yes. That will give me time to do a few arrangements."

If there was something that crew members appreciated was a good party. It was hard to have a decent social life onboard and when something happened, even if it was just with a small group of friends, it was always very exciting and people did their best to have a great time.

Carla and Keira were the first to arrive and Mary was on duty but she promised to show up for a can of soda and a little chat with the girls. Sofia's steward kindly arranged for glasses and ice. The guy who worked in the crew bar helped bringing down some supplies and Natalie, Allison and Alice brought snacks. Amy arrived right after, carrying a bottle of Shiraz.

Keira turned on her iPod on a nice ambient lounge playlist and conversation went on, most of it about work because working every day of the week made it hard to come up with any original subject. Crew members in general didn't have the faintest idea of what was going on in the world. The news, the movie theaters, radio stations and so on were mostly out of reach.

Denise and Sonya joined them shortly after and even Tania, the night manager, paid a visit under the condition of not drinking because her shift started at eleven. Sofia was happy with the company. That get together was exactly what she needed after a few days of intense work and general insanity.

"It seems like I'm the only one here on a ship for the first time, so let's play a game. I want to hear your crazy stories, good or bad, of things that happened onboard. The winner of the best story gets a gift from me."

"What's the gift?" Carla enquired.

"Depends of how good the story is."

"Fair enough," Natalie said. "I'll start."

Sofia lowered the sound of the speakers and sat on the bed with her legs crossed, between Amy and Allison.

"About three years ago I was working in the tour office on a ship that was doing the Baltic Run. One of our ports of call was _Warnemünde_ in Germany. From there we used to operate tours to Berlin by train. One afternoon we were all in our positions at the desk selling tour tickets and this lady approached Lynn, who was working next to me, pointed at the brochure that described a river boat tour and asked if it was still possible to see dead bodies in the water. Poor Lynn looked at all of us and then back at the lady and asked her if she could rephrase because she didn't understand the question. The woman asked again if it was possible to see dead bodies in the river and Lynn, with all the politeness in the world, explained that the war was many years ago and no, there were no dead bodies. The lady moved on and read the description for another tour. Her next question was if in the Jewish Museum were any demonstrations of how the Nazis killed the Jews. At this point Josh and Martin had disappeared into the back office because they couldn't hold laughter anymore."

"Are you for real?" Sonya asked.

"Oh yes. I saw the entire scene; otherwise I probably wouldn't have believed it either." Natalie replied. "But wait, it's not over. Lynn, again very politely, told the lady that the Jewish Museum is about the history of the Jewish people in Germany and there is very little dedicated to the Holocaust. We were expecting her to leave, but no, she still had more questions. Her last pearl of wisdom was if it was necessary to take her passport to go to East Berlin. Lynn looked at her like an idiot, not really knowing what else to say and I guess the woman realized Lynn's confusion so she didn't say anything else but she left without booking any tour." Natalie ended.

"That's incredibly stupid. How can a person be that ignorant?" Carla replied.

"When you think you've heard everything they always come up with something new. But that's one of the biggest examples of pure stupidity I've heard in a while." Denise declared.

"I couldn't do that job." Sofia added. "If I was there I would have slapped that woman. But for our entertainment, that's a really good one. Thanks Natalie. Who's next?" She asked and served another round of drinks while a bowl with nachos was passed around.

"I have a cool story." Keira claimed. "Some time ago we were sailing the Mediterranean and one afternoon when it was about time for passengers to return to the ship in Turkey, one of them was so drunk he missed the gangway and fell in the water between the pier and the ship. One of the security guys jumped right after him with a buoy and when he had the passenger secured in the water the others threw a rope ladder so they could climb up but the man was so drunk he couldn't make the steps and he was too fat to be pushed. He gave it a couple of tries but kept falling. Since that didn't work they had to put a rope around his waist and it took four strong men to pull him up. In the process a few of his ribs got broken and we had to take him to the medical center and put up with his hysterical thirty year old daughter who was shouting at us for hurting her daddy. It was surreal."

"I must admit passengers can be hilarious." Denise said, giggling.

"Now me." Amy said with a promising grin. "About two years ago or so I was on a ship in the Caribbean and one night at two in the morning we had a man-over-board alarm. At the time we were a few miles out of Jamaica. We felt the ship stopping and turning around and when I arrived in the promenade deck the guys were lowering the rescue boats to go looking for whoever was missing. It turns out that a couple had met during the cruise, had too many drinks and decided to go up to one of their rooms and have sex in the balcony. I'm still not sure how they managed to do it, because the balcony is pretty high, but they fell overboard, from deck 9, completely naked and drunk into the water at two in the morning miles away from shore."

"Oh God!" the ones that didn't know the story exclaimed, "What happened to them?"

"They were too entertained to look around, but above them, on deck 11 there was another passenger on a balcony. He saw them falling and gave the alarm. Since the alarm was given immediately the deck crew had a good idea of where to look and the rescue boats were lowered quickly. The two of them were found alive, unwounded and fished back to the ship. They got out of it without a bruise, except to their pride." Amy elucidated.

"That's what I call luck!" Natalie responded. "I remember that story. We all got detailed emails the next day."

"It was very embarrassing for them. But they made it alive. If that other passenger hadn't seen them they would have been fish food. They would have drowned or died of hypothermia."

"I guess they had the shag of their lives!" Sofia concluded and everyone chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"Wait, I remember another one, talking about man-over-board." Denise raised her voice in excitement. "It was a few years ago. I heard it from one of my supervisors."

"Tell us." Everyone replied at once.

"There was a guy one night in the Casino and he won a crazy amount of money. Next morning his wife reported him missing. She said he had never returned to the room the night before. There was a big search all over the ship but no sign of this guy. He had last been seen very drunk in the Casino. The wife was never there. Apparently she stayed in the room and he went gambling on his own. The CCTV doesn't cover all of the ship and security went through all the tapes but there was nothing conclusive. They found what time he left the Casino and the last video showed him wobbling through deck 7 on his own and then entering an elevator. The FBI came onboard the next port and conducted a thorough investigation but found nothing. No traces of blood, no signs of fighting, no witnesses. The people in the next rooms didn't hear a sound. Everyone believed she took advantage of his drunkenness and pushed him overboard but if she did it, she got away with it. There wasn't enough evidence to prosecute her."

"What about the money?"

"She got it all." Denise answered with a grin.

"Wow!" Sofia replied thrilled. "I'm so glad I had this idea. This night is turning to be really interesting. Anyone else?"

Carla rose from her seat. "I have a funny one, not as dramatic as yours, but still cool. Once in the medical center I had a lady who was in her honeymoon. She was massive and the husband was even bigger. She complained that they had the AC down to the minimum but the guy was still sweating profusely, especially when they were having sex. They had already asked the front desk about getting a lower temperature in the cabin but the engineers said there was no way to do it since it was already down to the minimum. She came to see us to check if there was any medication we could give him to make him stop sweating like that. The situation was getting so bad they couldn't get decent sex with all that water and it was ruining their honeymoon."

There was more laughter.

"They could have done it under the shower. At least the water would be fresh." Allison suggested.

"I thought about it but they were too big and the showers too small. They would end up in the front desk asking for an upgrade to a suite to get a bath." Carla explained. "I thought about suggesting a diet too, but that would probably be considered rude so I just politely heard all their complaints and let them go."

"Yes, the showers are quite small here." Sofia observed.

"Well, I can guarantee you that they fit two people, of normal size of course." Carla claimed with a naughty smile.

"Please don't give us the details." Keira replied in a begging tone.

It was already half past eleven and between snacks, drinks and stories Sofia realized how fast time passed and how tired she was but the she was having so much fun she didn't want the night to end.

"All right. Those were all very cool stories. I need to take notes to remember later." She said.

"I'm sure we could come up with a few more, if we think about it, but I guess it's a good time for a movie." Denise suggested.

"True. They were all great and since I can't really pick one up I think we should all have lunch together somewhere ashore. Drinks on me." Sofia offered.

"Perfect. Maybe Christchurch or Dunedin."

"Deal. Let's pick up a movie then." Sofia had a look through the DVD's on the desk and they picked a romantic comedy to finish a girl's night in beauty.

# 11

Sofia had been onboard for over a month and a half and she was getting used to the concept of working hard, partying hard and sleeping whenever she could. It was like being in college again.

Travelling and partying were the highlights of life onboard. Travelling made life interesting; partying kept the crew away from suicidal thoughts.

It was Dunedin day. On cruise ships normal calendars don't apply. Time is measured by cruise. Last cruise, this cruise, next cruise and so on. Days can be a port day or a sea day.

The plan for the day had been to go out and see a bit of New Zealand's oldest city. Sofia had planned to walk the streets and see the fine architecture and spectacular scenery she had heard about. Thanks to Carla and Keira the plan had changed into going to bed as soon as possible. Why did they have to come up with a Naughty Nurses Party?

It had been a great party with lots of crew dressed up in their own version of a hospital gown (which would never be admitted in any hospital in the planet and could lead to death penalty in certain countries). People went through a lot of trouble to make it a wonderful night, especially the crazy nurses who had spent hours decorating the crew bar with stuff that was taken from the medical center. Mary kindly closed her eyes to the disappearance of a few items.

The party had started with tequila shots given by a cruise staff girl with a big syringe and it was downhill from there. People came up in all sorts of costumes, from a pregnant guy, to a half-naked nurse, a guy with a fake head shopped off, a nun on a wheelchair holding a bottle of vodka, pretense broken limbs and so on...

The DJ was great and had everyone dancing until Tania showed up and ended the party just after two in the morning. Afterward, Carla moved the event to her cabin with a small group of friends.

Sofia, who was normally proud of being well behaved and self-controlled had too much to drink and the next morning she couldn't remember what happened in Carla's cabin. Most memories were vague, her head weighted a ton and her body was sore. She remembered vaguely that at some point Denise and Diego insisted that she should go to bed.

She felt too sick for breakfast and went straight to the medical center after putting enough makeup on to make it look like she was alive. Mary came by with a mug of boiling black coffee and dropped it of in front of a very cranky doctor.

"Oh, bless you for that!" Sofia said and as she took the first sip she burnt her tongue. "Ouch! I always do that." She complained. Like the hangover wasn't bad enough!

"I heard you had a hell of a night." Mary observed asking for more information.

Sofia looked at her with a very squeamish face. "I am so going to kill those two!"

"Why would you kill our lovely nurses? They are the angels of our lives."

"Angels? Those two are demons! It's because of them that I feel like the damn train ran over me." Sofia complained but not hard enough to make the nurse feel sorry for her.

"Yes, I'm sure they opened your mouth and poured alcohol down your throat against your will."

"I don't like you." She grumbled.

"Oh love, you're going to like me a lot less when I open that door in five minutes. I just hope your partners in crime are in better shape than you, otherwise this will be a very interesting day."

"You're mean!" Sofia exclaimed.

"Yes I am. And I'm also sober, not like some people who party all night and come to work sleepy and hangover." She said with a grin and left the room to open the medical center.

When things went wrong, they went really wrong. The one morning Sofia needed peace and silence the medical center was really busy. Several crew members had food poisoning after eating pizza leftovers in someone's cabin. The thought alone made Sofia sicker. A waitress came up with an infection because of a cut she should have treated three days before, a cleaner had a broken toe, a security guy was hurt after a pretense fight with a colleague that didn't go too well and a receptionist had severe tooth ache and had to be sent ashore to see a dentist.

Keira was late to work and Mary got mad because she had to stay longer after doing the night shift. Ryan made it very clear that he didn't give a damn if the entire world was being attacked by aliens as long as HIS medical center operated properly, therefore hangovers and personal dramas didn't have a place past the door during opening hours. On any other day Sofia would have agreed entirely.

By the time the morning shift was over she was very grateful. The yogurts in her fridge saved her from starvation because there was no way she was going to waste precious sleeping time going for lunch. Never had that bed felt so good and not even the rolling noises of trolleys in the corridor every few minutes stopped her from sleeping like a baby. And like a baby she woke up three hours later, not to eat, but to return to work. The afternoon was not easier than the morning and at one point she really felt like it was all a punishment for her excessive partying the previous night.

Denise paid a visit to her cabin after work. She didn't look great either.

"Hi. How was your day?" She asked with a faded voice.

"Crap. And yours?"

"Crap!" Denise answered and sat on the bed. "Except lunch break."

Sofia gave her friend an inquisitive look.

"I was going to sleep but Diego kept me awake, which I'm happy with but now I'm really tired." Her friend said without getting into unnecessary details.

Sofia put a pillow underneath her head. "I'm glad one of us had something exciting to do today. I slept the entire lunch break and my body still feels like I've been beaten. Did I do anything stupid last night? I can't remember half of it."

Denise chuckled. "You were okay until Aaron started mixing double vodkas in your drinks. Then you kept drinking and we didn't stop you because you were so funny. After the disco we all came to Carla's cabin and you were almost letting Aaron kiss you so Diego and I brought you to bed to make sure you wouldn't do anything you could regret today."

"Did your boyfriend see me naked?"

"Of course not. I don't need competition. He waited outside while I helped you. Do you really not remember?"

"Only a few flashes. I'm mad that you guys didn't stop me from drinking that much and make a fool of myself. And I have a gigantic hangover. I'm not drinking anytime soon."

"Didn't you say that after New Year's Eve?"

"Yes, but now I mean it."

Denise giggled again. "Well, don't worry about making a fool of yourself because everyone was drunk too and they won't remember what you did. Plus, this is part of being a crew member. You couldn't go through a contract without at least one night like this."

"Whatever!" Sofia replied dryly and pulled the covers over her head.

"Dinner?" Denise asked waiting for her to stop behaving like a child and eventually she got her head out of the covers.

"Can't be bothered. I don't think I can move out of this bed."

"I have an idea." Denise picked up the phone and asked the room service supervisor to get some food delivered to the cabin.

"Nice. Are you friends with everyone onboard?" Sofia asked happy that her friend's acquaintances were bringing food. Her stomach had been making funny sounds for a while.

"With everyone except my own supervisors. There are some good perks, especially when you have the right friends." Denise answered smugly.

Sofia tried to remain awake until dinner arrived. After a monumental hangover all day she learned her lesson about drinking and working. "I'm getting too old for this. Far goes the time when I only needed a few hours to recover. Now it takes me two days." She muttered.

Kieran hadn't sent an email in a while and Sofia was starting to worry, not knowing what to make of his silence. She called Ailish but all her friend knew was that either he had been working all the time or his car broke in the parking lot.

Sofia tried to call him just to say 'hello' but the voicemail came up after a few rings. Sending him an email felt wrong so she left him a voice message.

When she returned from lunch with the girls in Christchurch she checked her emails and there was one from Kieran. Only two lines saying "I'm working all I can because I can't stand being this lonely. I guess saying I'm fine wouldn't be realistic. Love. Kieran"

For the first time since leaving Dublin, Sofia wondered if it had been a good idea to stay away from him after all. Her intention had been to make him see that he needed help to get over Jamie's death and stop blaming himself. If after all that time he was still working like a mad person and hadn't done anything for his own good sake then the plan was failing. She tried to come up with a good reply. Nothing seemed better than the truth.

"Dear Kieran, I'm starting to wonder if my efforts to help you are doing more harm than good. I wanted so much for you to find your way again and it makes me very sad to see it is not working. I really don't know what else to do. Staying away has been the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, but I can't go back to the person you are right now. I want the old Kieran back, the one I love so much."

She felt a bit down for the rest of the day and Carla invited her to go and see a show in the main theater after dinner. It was the first time Sofia watched that kind of performance and she really enjoyed the Broadway style show with the catchy songs and dancers in sparkling outfits and wigs. The singers were not too bad either and it was pretty clear there was a lot of thought and production work involved behind the curtains, from the music to the lighting.

The show lasted nearly one hour and a half and the doctor wondered why it had taken her so long to start looking at the passenger's entertainment schedule.

"Nice job those guys have." Sofia said, referring to the dancers.

"Probably the best onboard." Carla replied while they had a fruit juice in one of the bars because Sofia was determined not to get close to alcohol anytime soon. "They spend a lot of time in rehearsals but work very little hours compared to the rest of us. They never have to wear a uniform, have lots of deck privileges and loads of free time to enjoy them. Their life is so easy they are not even required to have emergency duties."

Sofia looked astonished. "How come they get that life while everyone else works so hard?"

"I'm not sure why, but the fact is that dancers are only required to do what is in their job description and nothing more. I don't blame them for taking advantage if someone offered them a nice life onboard. I wish I had that too. But it's very unfair when you compare them to the rest of the crew. Everyone sees the dancers enjoying their lives, I mean they spend entire mornings getting tanned by the pool, while the remaining of the crew work every single day, in many cases for over twelve hours. When the crew see that and then they have to go to the crew mess eat crappy food while the dancers sit in the buffet upstairs, it makes people upset. Dancers are normally not very well viewed onboard." Carla explained.

"That's strange. I understand that the dancer's job is what it is and their careers end early so they need to have some perks otherwise the company wouldn't get anyone to do the job. But going to the point of not even having emergency duties when crew members who work so many more hours have a blue card and attend every drill even if they have to do it after working night shifts, is insulting. I can understand why the other crew would get upset." Sofia observed.

"It's not about them. They are people just like everyone else. They are here to make some money and have a good time. There's nothing wrong with them and despite the mean comments you might hear sometimes there are some nice people in their team. What no one else likes is what they represent. They are the ones who have the life all of us dream. Of course it would be unbearable for the company to give the same to all of us, but the differences are so outstanding it becomes really hard to accept that some have so much and others have so little. We have crew who are almost slaves and crew who are treated like passengers. It's very unfair but that's the way of the world and ships are no exception."

The two of them spent the night talking, mostly about ship's dramas and relationships and Sofia started to see the mask that her friend created onboard. Carla was not really a shallow person who only cared about partying like there was no tomorrow. She was actually very intelligent and a lot more sensitive than she appeared. She adopted a new personality as a weapon to help her have what she defined as success on ships, which mainly stood for surviving every contract without getting hurt more that the strictly necessary.

People adopt different strategies in order to make the best out of every situation and the ability to adjust to different realities is one of the most amazing human features. What Carla did was to create a character and perform a role, like in a full time movie. She was a smart, competent nurse with excellent social skills that made her very popular with crew and passengers. Most crew parties onboard had her participation because she understood how important it was for hardworking people to have those few hours of fun. On the other hand she didn't let anyone into her personal territory. Even the people she genuinely liked were kept at a safety distance.

Sofia tried to find out why she preferred to be that way.

"When you fall in love you are giving someone a power over you that you can't control. Of course you wish they will use it to make you happy, but that power can be destructive, and many times it is."

Carla avoided getting too involved because she knew what the likely end was, so she didn't allow anyone to hurt her. Sofia understood that perfectly. Some people give others the opportunity to break their hearts but hope they won't; others don't take chances.

The doctor was curious about her motives. Was Carla just being careful or was she so seriously hurt it changed her entire view of relationships?

"I have issues. Loads of issues!" Carla started, not feeling too comfortable, but at the same time she knew Sofia could be trusted. "My father left us when I was fifteen and we never heard from him again. My mother had to take two jobs only to pay the bills and life was very difficult for me and my sisters. I worked every weekend as a waitress and it was that money that put me through college in Cape Town. Mum never got over it; she was always depressed. Then she got addicted to pills and one day she took too many and died. My older sister got married and her husband abandoned her too. So now I'm helping to support my niece so she can have a better life than the one we had. My younger sister grew up almost on her own and ended up on drugs. She's been in rehab twice but after a while she always goes back to heroin. She has AIDS now. So, well, I have issues. I find it very hard to trust people. People are selfish and careless."

Sofia looked at her taken aback by the revelation. "I'm so sorry Carla. I don't know what to say. That's a heavy burden you carry."

"It's okay. Life is what it is and we live with what we have. I'm here. I survived and I will keep surviving."

"That's amazing. Tell me, have you ever considered getting a job in a clinic or a hospital ashore? You have so much potential."

"No." She answered immediately. "There's nothing for me ashore. Here I have a job I love, a good salary and people who treat me well. I'm up for a promotion and hopefully I'll be senior nurse soon. I have everything I need onboard and nothing out there; at least nothing I want. The outside world holds no interest to me."

Sofia smiled with compassion. "I understand where you are coming from and honestly, you have all the reasons to think the way you do. But your issues with men... did you ever get hurt or you just learn from what you see?"

"I never allowed myself to fall in love. I don't want to be that vulnerable. Look at your friend Denise. When I first met her in a previous ship she was bright and happy. Now she fell in love and you know she's not happy with a guy who gives her no attention and doesn't seem to care. I don't want to end up like that. Most guys I met on ships are good fun but I could never take them seriously. All they want is someone to have a few hours of entertainment, probably until the end of the contract because life onboard can be boring, and if that's how it's going to be I rather play that game than being a victim of the system." Carla explained.

Sofia nodded. "I see. But does it make you happy to have that kind of meaningless life? Don't you ever wonder how it feels like to have something real?"

"For me it's not about being happy. I have a lot of fun and no hassle like this. I'm not using or deceiving anyone, I am the way people see and my rules are simple and clear. No dramas, no surprises."

For Sofia that kind of mentality was hard to understand, not only for the lack of morals but especially because after being in a relationship where the link between two people was real love, the idea of meaningless sex with random people seemed incredibly stupid.

"You know, I've only been here for a few weeks and I have to respect everyone's choices, even the ones I don't understand. But I really wish that one day you will find the right person for you and that you can find out what a wonderful thing real love is. Then you will understand all you've been missing." Sofia said and Carla gave her a reserved smile.

"Maybe. We can always believe in miracles..."

They moved on to Stardust Disco for another drink and while Carla ordered a Cosmopolitan, her friend drank sparkling water and kept faithful to her non-drinking policy. They talked a bit longer and Sofia asked the nurse if she knew Mary's story.

"It seems strange to me that someone's been on ships for so long, you know? Either she loves this or she's like you and doesn't want to go back to land for a specific reason."

Carla shrugged. "It's a bit of both. Mary loves the ships and she also wants to stay away from home. I don't think she feels like she has a home anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"When Mary was in her twenties she was once engaged. Her future husband was killed in a car accident two weeks before the wedding. She was pregnant. With the stress she lost the baby. That's what made her come to sea. She used the ships as a way to escape. She had an old father and a sister left in Galway. He father died years ago and her sister succumbed to pancreatic cancer I'm not sure when. Mary is alone. There's no one left for her in this world. We are her family." Carla explained.

"That's really, really sad." Sofia murmured, her heart contracting on her chest.

"Yes, it is. But Mary is a fighter. She fell, but she stood up and moved forward. I know she rarely goes to Ireland these days. She bought an apartment in Thailand where she goes for holidays and I know she enjoys herself everywhere she goes. She's been through a lot, but today she's a happy woman. I consider her an example. Life doesn't always work the way we plan. Many times the first thing you learn when you grow up is how unfair life has been for you. But we have the choice to go on."

Sofia finished her water and Carla took her last sip of the cocktail and put the glass on the table.

"There is always a story behind everything, isn't it?" The doctor asked while they looked at the big bright moon outside the large windows before they called it a night.

Carla nodded affirmatively. "If you start talking to each crew member on this ship I can promise you will find material to write many, many books."

* * *

At seven o'clock the next morning the front desk was very quiet. Most passengers were still sleeping comfortably in their beds. Sonya was happy to be on the early shift. She hated her job but at least Denise was kind to accommodate her schedule requests. That way she finished early as well and got a bit of time to herself. She opened her heavy float and started organizing the notes in bundles with paper clips so it would be easier to count them later. Then she went through her credit card slips to make sure they matched the log and ordered the traveler's checks by amount.

"You must be really bored." Nick observed right from behind her. She shrugged.

"Nick, you scared me."

He kissed her neck softly and snickered at her.

"What the heck are you doing?" She asked more surprised than upset, since being upset with someone like him would be an absolute waste of time.

"You smell nice." He observed.

"I know. Don't you have anything to do? Where is your float?"

"My float is in the drawer. I don't feel like taking it out. I'm just going to stay here and shadow you." He replied with a happy grin.

She rolled her eyes and looked heavenwards. "Why? Why do I always attract crazy people?" She mumbled and heard him chuckle next to her. There was no point in arguing with Nick. He was a lost cause.

The phone rang. It was a 911 call and she answered immediately. She saw it was a crew cabin and as soon as Mario, the crew area supervisor, told her there was a guy on the floor who couldn't breathe she paged the duty nurse and gave Keira all the details. She hung up the phone and a moment later they heard a code Alpha. Sonya had been around long enough to know what that meant. Nick's smile disappeared and he stared at the phone.

Sofia was getting out of the shower when she heard the code Alpha and put on her uniform as quickly as she could. She ran to the crew cabin on deck 3 where she found Ryan, Mary and Keira trying to resuscitate the young man lying on the floor. Fifteen minutes later Ryan called time of death.

They took the body to one of the morgue spaces in the medical center. He would be taken ashore the next port and sent to his family for burial.

As the investigation started with the doctors, the crew area supervisor who found the body, the security officer and his head of department, Sofia learned that the young man was a Macedonian waiter, twenty five years old.

Bad news spread fast and soon the entire ship's company knew that a crew member had died that morning. Eventually the word got out to the curious passengers and during the opening hours the doctors answered a lot of questions about the waiter's death.

Sofia and Ryan examined the body. Although they didn't have the conditions to perform a proper autopsy, a lot could be learned from the external signs, and together with what they heard from the eye witnesses it wasn't difficult to guess cause of death.

Not wanting to see or speak to anyone, both doctors ordered lunch from room service and had their meal in the office while preparing the reports and all the extra paperwork that losing a life included.

People died on ships sometimes. Mostly the older passengers and usually of heart attack or stroke. Those are were common cases. Losing a 25 year old left a bitter feeling.

Aware of the events, Denise went to Sofia's cabin after work to check on her.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm a doctor. Losing people comes with the job. It's just something we have to live with." Sofia replied, not looking too good.

"There is a lot of consternation among the crew. I remember seeing this guy in the crew bar sometimes, but I didn't even know his name."

"His name was Alexander. He was twenty five." Sofia answered gloomily.

"Way too young. Did you find out what killed him?"

"The only way to be sure is with an autopsy, but as far as I can tell he died of the something very common in this world: stupidity!" Sofia replied with a bitter, angry tone.

"What do you mean? How did he die of stupidity?"

"Most people in the world die of some sort of stupidity. Sometimes it's their own, other times it's someone else's, but it all gets down to the same. This one died of self-stupidity. Basically he drank himself to the grave."

"He died of alcohol poisoning?"

"That's what it looks like. According to the signs in his body, he committed accidental suicide."

Denise had heard about people getting into comas and even dying after drinking too much, but she didn't really understand the process. "How does something like that happen?"

Sofia sighed. "Ethanol, the chemical compound in most alcoholic drinks, is a neurotoxin, which is a substance that can damage and even destroy the nervous system. When a person gets drunk, he or she is actually suffering from a form of poisoning. In small quantities the body can handle it, but in big quantities ethanol can cause coma and death, which is what happened to our young waiter. The body is able to convert ethanol into harmless substances, but this doesn't happen immediately. If alcohol is consumed at a faster rate than the body can process it, ethanol builds up in the system, begins to interfere with brain function and it starts to modify the chemical reactions in the neurons. The stream of information in the brain is altered and that's why drunken people have slurred speech, blurred vision, sluggish movement and weakened behavioral restraints. Besides causing these modifications, alcohol can also lead to cell atrophy and destruction, altering the brain's structure in more extreme cases where damage becomes irreversible." She explained.

"But shouldn't he have started to throw up and get rid of it at some point?" Denise asked.

"Depends. As far as I was told this guy used to drink a lot every day. His body was so used to alcohol that it would take a long time for that kind of reaction to occur. Plus alcohol depresses nerves that control involuntary reactions, sometimes preventing the body from defending itself. You should also know that a person's blood alcohol concentration can continue to rise even when they stop drinking. The alcohol in the stomach and intestines continues to enter the bloodstream. Sleeping it off might not mean the person will be okay. And that was what his supervisors didn't know."

"What do they have to do with it?"

"This guy drank a lot last night, probably all night long; this morning he was scheduled to serve breakfast at six, but he arrived so intoxicated that his supervisors sent him to his cabin because he wasn't fit to work. Of course no one ever considered that the guy had overdosed himself with alcohol. Probably it wasn't the first time they had to send someone away for being drunk, so they never thought it could be this serious. I don't blame them. This was a bit of an exceptional situation and they had no way to know. Around seven the head waiter started being a bit worried so he called the cabin. There was no reply. Alexander's roommate was working so he paged the crew supervisor to go check on him. By the time Mario opened the door he was already dead."

"Well, I have to agree with you. It is a stupid way to die. I feel sorry for the guy. I bet he never once though drinking could carry him to the grave." Denise observed.

Sofia nodded. "The way people drink onboard I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. They think that because they are young and fit, their bodies can take anything, but it doesn't work that way. I've seen a lot of crew who are alcoholic or on the way there and one day they will pay the price. It's a matter of time."

"I know. If they started breathalyzing crew randomly I can promise you half of us would be fired every week. Alcohol is a serious issue onboard, but I also understand that for many people it's a refuge. When you work every day for months in a row, away from your family, with no privacy and sometimes a difficult working atmosphere, a few drinks after work can be a great escape. Even I nearly went down that road a few times. I was strong enough to resist and be careful, but it's not easy. Sometimes the bottle is crew's best friend." Denise justified.

Sofia opened the door for fresh air. "I see what you mean, and it's true, but alcohol is not the answer to loneliness or overstress. These crew members who have six beers every day after work are fighting one problem by creating another; only this one won't go away by the end of the contract. It will go home with them and it will continue to cause damage long after. This is so frustrating." She said, her expression disgruntled.

Amy walked by and saw the door open. She went in and shared their concerns. "Drinking is a cultural problem. People drink because they think it's cool. As long as that mentality stands, things like what we saw today will keep happening."

"And what are we supposed to do about that?" Denise questioned.

"Honestly, you can give advice to the people who are willing to listen but in the end, they have to make their own choices and we have to accept them." Amy concluded with a pang of sadness.

Afterward she paged her husband and organized a bridge visit. They went up to deck 16 forward and Matthew, the third officer, opened the door and received them with a warm smile.

They passed the safety center, which consisted of a big room with boards, computer screens and folders and went through the next door to the bridge itself. It was almost eleven in the evening and all the lights were off. Illumination came from the monitors and the lights from outside. In front of them the big windows provided a beautiful view of the sky with its blanket of stars.

Rob, Amy's husband, received them warmly and with a pleasant smile. He directed them to the central area where the commands were operated. The ship was set up with the latest technology and most of the bridge was a wide open area. The monitors in the front were used to control all the main functions and the bridge was always in contact with the engine control room. A big dark monitor with small lights resembling stars showed the other ships in the vicinity. Rob explained briefly how it worked.

"Thanks Rob. It's nice to talk to someone who can speak ship." Denise replied, sitting on the captain's chair.

Rob giggled. "No worries my dear. If you want to come back I can always teach you a bit more. Maybe one day I'll let you drive."

"I don't mind learning more, but there's no way I'm driving this thing! I can barely park a car." She retorted.

"It's not that hard. I know she's very big, but these days' computers make our life very easy."

On each side of the bridge, the bridge wings, there were a few devices to help navigation and right next to them, two Indonesian deck staff who barely moved, were looking into the darkness outside.

"Who are they?" Sofia asked Rob.

"Observers. Their job is to look at the water and monitor the sides of the ship that we can't see so clearly from the center of the bridge. These guys have remarkably sharp vision. Of course we also give them binoculars, but their eyes are precious for us. They can spot things in the water that sometimes are missed by radars. A log is not a problem, but a small boat adrift needs help and they are the ones who spot it first. That's what happened the other night. Also, if a fire starts in a balcony, they see the smoke right away and we can act immediately." Rob explained.

"I thought the balconies had fire sprinklers." She observed.

"They do, but only recently." Amy clarified. "Three years ago balconies didn't have sprinklers and the chairs and tables were made of plastic. One night in the Caribbean, one of our ships caught fire. It started on a balcony. Three hours later nearly two hundred passenger rooms had been destroyed. It was only by hard work and a bit of luck that the fire was controlled."

"Did anyone die?" Sofia asked, startled.

"One passenger had a heart attack. Everything else was material damage and a lot of trouble. But we learned a precious lesson. After that, the furnishing in balconies was replaced by metal and sprinkles were added in the entire fleet. Having these guys keeping an extra eye is an additional precautionary measure" Rob concluded.

"Good to know we're being so well looked after."

"We do our best." Andrea claimed. He was just arriving to start his shift.

While they exchanged information the girls waited by the bench in the front, from where they had a privileged view of the sea and also of the crew deck where there was a small pool and two Jacuzzis for the crew. With the ship sailing there was normally no one there because it was too windy.

"So, do you still have the habit to spy the crew with your binoculars?" Denise asked Andrea.

He laughed. "Of course. There's not much to do here while we're in port and some of the girls have really nice bodies."

"Seriously? You spend your time in port doing that?" Sofia enquired with a chuckle and he nodded positively.

"That's how we met. In my first contract, one afternoon I went for a swim in the crew pool. Of course I didn't notice I was being observed because the bridge has a darker shade of glass and I wasn't really looking up. There is a sign saying not to dive, but I couldn't resist a jump." Denise said.

"That night I found her in the officers mess and told her something like 'nice jump, I would give it eight out of ten because there was a little splash'. And Denise turned red as a lobster." Andrea smirked.

"And I guess that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Amy murmured.

Denise nodded. "Since he made me feel so embarrassed I decided to start visiting him on the bridge and get to know him better to see if I could improve my image. We became friends."

Andrea came from behind, hugged Denise and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "We had some good times, me and this one." He said sounding like an older, protective brother.

They stayed on the bridge for a little longer, enjoying the view and playing with the binoculars. Sofia was impressed with how little the observers moved.

"If they weren't standing up I would say they were statues." She whispered.

"It reminds me of those guys in London, the ones that are in Downing Street and places like that. They don't move no matter what."

"So, I guess the steering wheel and the big bell in the back there are just for decoration, right?"

"Yes." Andrea confirmed. "We do everything by computer. I'm proud to say there are not many ships out there with as modern technology as this one."

They looked outside and Andrea pointed some of the stars. Orion, the Big Dipper, Gemini and the Pole Star twinkled in the black sky.

"Beautiful!" Sofia exclaimed, happy that even the worse days could end up well.

Denise was right next to her, their arms touching. "When I was little my mom told me when people die they go to heaven and turn into stars. I never believed it but it is a pretty thought to hold on to."

They both kept looking, knowing that was just a story people told, but as their eyes focused on the brightness of the thousands of small points that decorate the sky, for a moment they pretended one of them was Alexander.

# 12

Sofia loved opening her eyes every morning and finding a different scenario. She was very happy when she looked outside and saw Tauranga. Located at the entrance of the Bay of Plenty, this was a peninsula of beauty, charm and life.

Tauranga was a stunning holiday destination, with thriving business, excellent restaurants, stylish shopping and a fabulous beach just a few minutes walking from the port.

In front of the harbor Mt. Maunganui raised abruptly, showing off the majesty and sheer beauty of an extinct volcanic cone. Tauranga was a meca for the lovers of sun, sea and surf but very few adventured in the water. It was cold and windy.

Denise, Sofia, Diego, Keira and Carla had lunch in a fabulous Mediterranean restaurant in town. The entire street was a cluster of restaurants, bars and shops all the way through and it looked just like any costal European city, which caused a strange sense of déjà vu. Lunch was delicious and Keira observed how amusing it was that food could make such a difference in people's moods. Diego agreed that food was good but his real happiness was to be the only man in the middle of four women. Denise pretended to get mad at him and instead of throwing things like she normally did, he got punished by having to pay for lunch.

Life was good sometimes and in the middle of working hard and getting stressed on a daily basis, being in a place like that even if just for a few hours made it up for the sacrifices and demands of life at sea.

Denise wondered how far the places where the 'Lord of The Rings' had been filmed were.

"They filmed all over New Zealand, nowhere close to where we dock. There's no way you can see them unless you come on a proper holiday." Carla replied.

"Oh, is there anything at all we can see?"

"Some scenes were done in Fiordland but you wouldn't see the places from the ship. Everything else is too far for our few hours off in port."

Denise made a rueful face. "That sucks. I really wanted to see Hobbiton."

"Hobbiton is too far, but if you want to go up Mt. Maungani, I'm in." Diego suggested.

"Ok, if I can't see Hobbiton that might be the next best thing. Anyone else wants to come?"

Sofia stretched on her chair. "I wouldn't mind to go relax on the beach, even with this wind, but after a million calories lunch, a walk uphill will make my conscience much easier to live with."

The scenic track up to the summit of Mt. Maungani was hard. It was a long walk around the cone, always up, but getting there was well worth the physical effort. From the top the view was amazing with the unbroken strip of golden sand of the Bay of Papamoa and the north forests and the Matakana Island embracing Tauranga Harbor. The group had a seat on the grass on the top to catch their breath and enjoy the gift of nature. It was the perfect day, not too warm or cold despite the wind, the sky was clear and the sheep that grazed down the hill completed the idyllic scenario.

"Did you know there are 25 sheep for every person in New Zealand?" Keira pointed.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

As they walked down through the back of the hill Diego settled on having a quick soak in one of the hot saltwater pools at the base and even though they didn't have clothes to exchange, everyone jumped in.

They left Mt. Maungani and the golden glow of Ocean Beach and went back to the port just in time for Denise and Diego to start their shifts. The others still had one hour left.

A number of heads turned when they passed through the gate dripping water and a security guard smiled at them.

"Sometimes it's still hard to believe I'm here. This is so surreal." Sofia confessed on the way to her cabin.

Carla nodded. "I know. I've been doing this for years and once in a while I still wake up with the ship rocking in the middle of the night and for a moment I don't know where I am. I think because this is so different from everything else, sometimes it feels difficult to believe it's not a dream, or a nightmare, depends on the day."

Ian was coming their way and stopped them in front of the medical center. "Hello ladies. What are you up to?" He asked with a broken smile.

"We just climbed Mt. Maungani." Sofia answered proudly, ignoring the pain on her sore legs.

"Good for you. I've been stuck onboard for a while. Dramas, dramas, dramas. I've just asked for them to give me night manager and give my job to Tania. She's sick of working nights and I would love some time off during the day."

"Fair enough. Maybe next time you can come with us."

"I hope so. While you were out there having fun I was paged twice by the front desk because I'm the manager on duty and there was a woman disembarking because of a fight with the husband. Not only I had to put up with her endless list of complains about the bloke, I just had him giving me his version. The last time I looked at my job description, couples therapy wasn't on the list."

Carla and Sofia looked at each other and laughed.

"Aren't we happy we aren't pursers?" Carla stated.

"Yes, we are. I've never seen people being paid so little to babysit grownups." Sofia confirmed before they headed to work, feeling sorry for Ian who was going back to his office to start preparing paper work for the end of the cruise in Auckland the next day.

"I think we need to do something to cheer him up. The poor guy looks really worn-out."

Sofia looked at her, more scared than surprised. "I know that look on your face. Last time you looked at me like that you came up with a party it took me two days to recover from. Don't even think about it!"

Carla chuckled. "Who told you to drink like that?"

"I don't want anything that involves alcohol."

"I was thinking maybe we could go up to Stardust Disco tonight. If you don't want alcohol have sparkling water or something." She suggested.

"I was going to have a quiet night." Sofia insisted.

"You can have a quiet night tomorrow. It's for Ian, remember that. He's our friend and we need to cheer him up."

Sofia was not very sure if it was for Ian or an excuse for Carla to throw another party, but she agreed. Back in the office she sat in front of the computer and logged on the internet to check her emails before the afternoon shift. There was an email from Kieran.

It's been three months since I last saw you. Aren't there phones where you are? I called your brother. How come you didn't tell him your location? You mother and Ailish don't want to tell me either. Am I such a great danger?

I slept with another woman. I was lonely. It was bad. I thought about you all the time. Tomorrow I'm starting therapy. Hope you're happy. I'm sorry. Kieran.

"Hell no!" She yelled in shock and Carla came running from the observation room.

"What's going on? Are you all right?" The nurse observed her friend's horrified expression with concern.

Incapable of talking, Sofia turned the screen and let her read it.

"I'm sorry Sofia. I'm really sorry."

Sofia started pacing back and forth desperately.

"He cheated on me! I can't believe it. And he told me!" She tried to grasp that information and keep focused. Her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest.

Carla sat on the chair Sofia had just left empty and read the email again.

"Well, if you think about it, no he didn't. You left him. Maybe what he says here is true and he felt lonely."

"I left him because I thought he would look for help and take care of himself. I feel lonely too and I didn't sleep with anyone else." Sofia hissed unable to hold back her tears anymore.

Carla hugged her. "Hey, don't do that. Everything is going to be fine. You need to call this guy and tell him where you are. He's obviously confused. Talk to him. He says here that he's starting therapy. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Y-yes, but I didn't want him to s-sleep with another w-woman." She stuttered.

Carla held the doctor's head between her hands and looked her in the eyes. "Listen, things don't always go the way we want. Its life and it sucks but this is not the end of the world. Take it easy."

Carla dragged Sofia to her cabin and made her a tea while her friend curled in bed crying and breathing hard.

"I have to open the medical center." Sofia mumbled and wiped her tears.

"Are you sure you can work?"

"I have to work. If I stay here I'll go crazy." She replied. "Help me put some make up on."

Carla opened the makeup case and took out a brush and a box of eye shadows. "Sofia, it is okay if you don't feel well enough to work."

"No, it isn't. Men are selfish bastards and I'm not going to compromise my job because of someone who tells me he loves me and sleeps with someone else."

Carla knew that type of feeling and understood that maybe working was better for Sofia. It would keep her mind busy for a few hours and maybe she would calm down after that. When the patients started to arrive she called Ian to invite him for Stardust and asked him to bring the usual crowd. They certainly would need an extra dose of entertainment.

"What's up? You sound a bit shaken." Ian noticed.

"Me? No. I'm fine. Sofia is the one a bit shaken. Well, a bit is an understatement. We need to cheer her up." She responded.

"What happened to her?"

"Sorry, it's personal. If she wants you to know she'll tell you."

"Sure. No worries. I'll get things sorted and we meet tonight." Ian replied with his usual easy going attitude that helped him survive ship's drama every day with a smile. After the call, Carla remembered that the idea was to cheer Ian up and he was going to end up helping someone else. That thought made her smile. It was good to have him onboard.

Denise and Diego stopped by Sofia's cabin and heard the stories about Kieran. Carla was already there and Sofia asked them to keep it for themselves. It was embarrassing for her and she didn't know what to do about it anyway.

"Let's go and enjoy ourselves tonight." She said like there was any possibility she could do that.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Diego murmured to Denise's ear. "She seems pretty nervous."

"I don't know. Staying in the cabin feeling sorry for herself won't do any good either."

"We better keep an eye on her anyway. Hurt people do stupid things. I know that from personal experience." He pointed out.

"We'll make sure that doesn't happen." Denise and Diego exchanged an accomplice look.

On the way to deck 15 they bumped into Aaron and his assistant, Richard, who were outside finishing a meal by the grill. After a few minutes of pep talk they too joined the group and took the elevator to Stardust Disco together. The place was quiet and they found a seat in a corner with a fabulous view over the ocean.

When Sofia ordered a Martini, Carla started to worry. "What happened to the no-alcohol policy?"

"I'll take it back tomorrow. Tonight I need a little help to survive. If you can find something that can delete my memory I'll be grateful." Sofia muttered.

"You want to know what would be good? Call Kieran and talk to him." Carla suggested.

"I'm not ready. Not today." Sofia retorted harshly.

The night went better than Carla had anticipated. Everyone except Sofia had genuine fun and the doctor only went as far as tipsy because no one allowed her more than she could take. Ian was in a great mood after he was confirmed to be night manager and Diego and Denise looked like they were in a good place with each other. Carla wondered how it was to be in a real relationship and after a while pushed away the though and reminded herself she was better off alone. Relationships were too complicated and she had handled enough complications for a life time already. Her eyes froze on the cute Australian bartender behind the bar. There was someone worth looking at. She winked and he smiled.

They returned to their cabins on time to have the quiet night Sofia was looking for. Ian didn't make it because he was carried away by a bunch of wild dancers and disappeared somewhere on deck 6 around one o'clock in the morning.

"I'll have the 'missing person' signs ready tomorrow if Ian doesn't show up to work." Diego said with a grin when they arrived on deck 4.

Aaron kept quiet and didn't make any of his usual moves towards Sofia. His face was serious and his eyes sharp. Very politely he wished everyone a good night and disappeared into his cabin, two doors down from the one where Denise and Diego slept.

Sofia returned to her cabin by herself, put on a comfortable track suit, opened her door and before she could even think about it she was knocking on Aaron's door.

"I feel lonely." She told him when he opened the door bare chest and with his hair damp and smelling of shampoo. He didn't hide his surprise when he closed the door behind her and hugged her soothingly.

"What's going on with you? Why are you here?" He asked and they sat on the bed next to each other.

"I... I don't know." She turned around and brushed her lips on his. Caught by surprise and by the softness of those lips he had dreamed of kissing so many times he kissed her back but a moment later he found the strength to push her away.

"Listen Sofia, whatever is on your mind right now, you will regret it later. We're not going to do this." He said fighting the urge to have her in his arms.

"I thought you would be happy to have me here." She replied tipsy and confused.

"I would, if you really wanted me. But you don't. You are only here because you're having a moment. I like you, I never kept that a secret, but I won't be your rebound guy. And I'm not the kind of person who takes advantage of a woman in a moment of weakness."

Sofia walked to him and leaned against the wall next to him. "You're a good person Aaron. And I'm an idiot. I'm sorry." She said, feeling like she was in a place where she absolutely hated to be and didn't know how to get out of there.

"No, you're not. You're going through a hard time. We all do sometimes. You're human, that's all. Now if you want a friend and a coffee you're very welcome to stay." He turned the kettle on and seconds later the water was boiling. He got two cups from the cupboard, added coffee powder and poured in the water.

Sofia smiled a modest smile. "I'm a really lucky woman, aren't I? I have such great friends."

"I know this is going to sound really cliché, but that's what friends are for."

She chuckled. "True."

Two doors down the corridor Diego decided not to tell Denise that he had just seen her friend entering Aaron's cabin. After all they were both adults. He trusted they knew what they were doing. Remembering Sofia's broken voice telling about how much Kieran hurt her reminded him of how hurt he had once been and how grateful he should be to have a girlfriend who cared so much. He turned his attention to her.

Denise was organizing some DVD's, wearing only an old t-shirt of his. She looked incredibly sexy with her legs crossed on the chair and her soft blond hair falling over her face like a curtain, hiding her blue eyes. He stared at her, admired her beauty and felt drawn to that woman who turned his head around with her complications but at the same time she was so desirable... Why did things have to be complicated? Wouldn't it be easier if people just lived every moment?

She noticed him staring and turned around flashing a wide smile. "What's up? Are you okay?"

He lifted her of the chair and sat her on his lap. His fingers curled over hers. "You're beautiful." He said observing her in the twilight of the room only slightly illuminated by the lamp in the corner.

She wasn't used to him saying things like that and kissed him passionately instead of answering with words.

He kissed her neck, his lips soft, his tongue hot, and his breathing picking up.

Denise lifted both hands to his face and took his lips. She loved the feel of his hands against her skin.

Pulling her t-shirt out and exploring her body with his lips, Diego felt secretly guilty and wondered why he couldn't love her as much as she loved him. He knew she deserved more and it was eating him inside that he couldn't give it to her. He gave her the best he could and hoped that would be enough for the moment.

# 13

Aaron felt happy and sad all at the same time. He knew he had done the right thing. It was so hard to be that close to her, watching her sleep next to him and not being able to touch that soft beautiful skin. What a torture! All that time chasing Sofia and the day she came to him he had to let her go. Maybe one day it would pay off to be a decent person. In a world where decent was the exception he could only trust that his consideration and respect were worth enough at least for her to see that he was not like most guys, who would simply take advantage of her state of mind and hypocritically apologize the next day.

He wished that she wasn't hurting because of another guy, that she could see him instead. Women like Sofia were rare and he wished with all his heart that he would be able to find someone he could love and admire as much. Deep inside he knew Sofia belonged to someone else and that wasn't going to change. He had to accept that and enjoy their friendship, if that was the only thing he could expect from her.

Sofia left Aaron's cabin around six in the morning after spending a few hours talking and fallen asleep in his bed. It was still early but the buzz was on and many people saw her doing the walk of shame. She didn't really care about what other people thought but it was awkward to have people talking about her having sex with Aaron when all they did was talk. Sober and conscious, Sofia was grateful that Aaron had the strength to do the right thing. She knew she wouldn't have stopped the previous night and her lack of thinking could have cost her a friendship she now treasured. Aaron had proved that he was a real friend and she knew from her experience how hard those were to find.

Back in her cabin she took a cold shower and before she put on her uniform she considered calling Kieran but she quickly changed her mind. She was too hurt to talk to him.

The morning went slow and she picked up anything she could find to keep distracted. She even went to the hotel secretary's office to give her the end of cruise documents.

Sylvia received her with a warm smile and apologized for not giving her much attention, but her desk was full of comments she needed to process. When Sofia was about to leave, something on the wall caught her attention. There was a board with a title saying 'Pearls of Wisdom' and just underneath, passenger's comments cut in different sizes and shapes had sentences highlighted with bright colors and between brackets there were comments Sylvia had written with a red pen.

'I had a really bad dining experience because of a child. Shame that a child is allowed to ruin dinner for so many!'

'My shore excursion didn't include lunch. There was no fast food anywhere. Having nothing to eat is very bad for diabetics.' (I'm sure fast food is great for diabetics)

'Do you have any idea how many Americans like pizza? You need to send your chefs to a Pizza Hut restaurant in America for training! (What about sending them to Italy instead?)

'How could you possibly think a wife would enjoy watching young, beautiful women shaking their breasts and bottoms, while sitting next to her husband during last night's show in the theater?'

'I was very pleased to receive my room key when we came onboard.' (Next time we'll give it to you by the end of the cruise.)

'Need catholic mass. My husband will not sail with you again unless there is a mass onboard.'

'Please fire the idiot at corporate who thought playing movies on deck in the middle of the day was a great idea.' (Totally agree.)

'You need black napkins for people wearing black dresses.'(We need what???)

'In the entertainment, British are not funny, mostly they are silly.' (Or should we say you're just too ignorant to understand them?)

'If you're too old to walk faster than a snail, go to the side of the walkways or don't take a cruise.'

'Elevators indicators should be in different colors, like red-up and green-down.' (And all this time we thought the arrows ˄ and ˅ were working so well)

'You should get more fit men to eye up and more free alcohol.' (That would be a dangerous combination.)

'Our congratulations to the crew for their patience with many of the seniors, who were very ignorant and an embarrassment to others on the ship.'

'Kids should have their own pool – somewhere off the ship!!!'

'I must commend the crew with their patience in tolerating the most rude, nasty and obnoxious behavior of 90% of the passengers onboard this cruise. As an adult I was beyond appalled and embarrassed for each and every one of them.'

'You should allow marijuana on the deck.' (What about cocaine?)

'When are you going to get a 13th floor? It is way past time to continue to cater childish superstition!'

'Fine those passengers who do not return to the ship on time without a very good excuse.' (We normally just leave them behind, but fines could be good for revenue).

Sofia found all of it hilarious and kept reading and laughing about most comments even forgetting her sorrow for a moment.

"I can't believe they are really like this." She said.

Sylvia turned around and looked at the wall.

"Yes, they are, and that's just from the last two months. I normally pick up the funniest and the most stupid and keep copies. When I'm in a bad mood I read them and it makes me feel better." She justified with a grin.

"Well, keep it up and don't forget to share. I think I need to start visiting your office more often."

"You'll be very welcome." She flashed a pleasant smile. "The other great thing about my office is that the coffee bar is right behind my wall and I'm friends with the waiters."

"I knew we were going to be good friends." Sofia replied with a wink.

* * *

Auckland brought a major crew change with nearly three hundred people going home and being replaced by new crew members. Busy was a usual thing on a ship and the crew lived that day like they lived any other: with just the right amount of resignation and the hope it would end fast so they could relax and enjoy the rest of the cruise.

The crew office had lot more work than three people could handle and Denise sent two receptionists to give them a hand.

Anne went home and was replaced by Kate, an English woman with bright orange hair, and when they were introduced Denise found it hard not to laugh. Her intention had probably been to get red hair but it hadn't worked out very well. She looked like a carrot. Kate didn't smile nor made any effort to be nice and Denise soon got to the conclusion that her misery was now complete. At least Anne was fun; Kate was arrogant, unfriendly and it seemed like she was friends with Leah. That had to be bad news.

Elaine came by the back office to talk to Denise while Leah and Kate went for lunch. Denise found the visit surprising but received Elaine with kindness. The woman was not exactly nice to anyone, but Denise didn't have personal complaints yet.

"Hi Denise. How is everything?"

"Good. Can't complain." She answered carefully, avoiding telling her that she hated her job, Leah and having to lie about it.

"Listen, have you met Kate before?" Elaine asked.

"No. Why?"

"Be careful with her and make sure your team is very well behaved from now on. Kate is a difficult person and either everything goes the way she wants or there will be serious trouble on the way."

Denise glanced at her, wondering what to do if anything became worse than it already was.

"Are you talking about anything in particular?"

"No. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and let me know if anything goes beyond reasonable. I like a job well done too but I've been with her on other ships and she's hard work. Kate doesn't like me because I got promoted before her and she's bitter about it." Elaine replied.

"Sure. Thanks for telling me that. I'll do my best to have my team working very well."

With new receptionists to train, the ones who were assigned to help the crew office and the embarkation process with its typical ups and downs, Denise forgot about that conversation for a while. She also forgot to eat and her stomach was saved by one of her guys who ran up to deck 15 and got her a chicken breast and some fries from the grill.

At almost eight in the evening the reception was still very busy. A passenger was making a fuss because she was called by security to open her bags after a strange shaped object was located when they scanned the bag. It turned out the strange object was a sexual toy and the woman's embarrassment turned into rage. The security guard stood patiently in the back office listening to her complaints about invasion of privacy. From her corner Denise observed the scene amused but feeling sorry for the security officer. It took a lot of patience to put up with some people.

Sofia came by and sat on the chair that would be occupied by the night manager later on.

"What's up?" She asked, noticing Denise's stress.

"Turnaround day. I swear I haven't seen the sun light today." She answered with her eyes on the computer screen.

Sofia looked at the cork board on the wall. Like the hotel secretary, Denise also had a collection of passenger's comments. One big sign protected by a plastic cover read 'All passengers are liable to be rejected, who, upon examination, are found to be lunatic, idiot, deaf, dumb, blind or infirm, or above the age of sixty years; White Star Line Brochure, 1892'.

"Where did you get this?" Sofia asked amused.

"If was a gift from a friend. Those were the rules from the company that owned Titanic back in the nineteenth century. It used to be in their brochures."

"Very funny. If we applied this today, we would go out of business."

Sofia's eyes kept browsing through the wall and another bit caught her attention. A colored piece of paper read "What they say!" and right underneath there were notes in different handwritings.

"What is that?" She asked, pointing at the wall.

Denise looked up. "That's where we write really stupid things that people tell us. We also add our own observations. I borrowed the idea from Sylvia and my team keeps adding stuff as they happen."

"I saw Sylvia's collection this morning." Sofia started reading from the top:

'Does this elevator take me to the back of the ship?'

'What time are the whales coming?'

'Can you move the lifeboat from our stateroom window?'

'Do the crew sleep onboard?'

'Has this ship ever sunk before?'

'Is the water in the toilet salt or fresh?'

'The Mexican buffet only served Mexican food!'

'Why isn't everything in the shops reduced on the last day of the cruise?'

'Does the ship generate its own electricity?'

'I can't find my cabin because the captain turned the ship around.'

'Where is the captain? Is now a good time to complain about the rocking?'

'Can the ship drop us off at the airport?'

'Do the lifeboats really float?'

'The orange pillows on my bed are so hard. Can I get softer ones?' (that would be a lifejacket)

'If this is New Zealand, where is the Old Zealand?'

'The walking tour of Christchurch was terrible. There was over 80% walking.'

'If we take the dolphins swim tour, do we have to get off the ship?'

'Could the mountains be more conveniently located closer to where the ship docks?'

'Is there much cycling in the bicycle tour?'

'When a passenger goes on the kayaking tour, where are the toilets?'

'I have a complaint. The dolphins are swimming on the port side of the ship and I can't see them from my balcony because my room is on the other side.'

'Which deck does the shuttle bus departure from?'

'What side of the ship is deck 4?'

'Why are there so many Americans onboard?'

Sofia burst in laughter. "This is amazing. It's incredible that people say things like that."

Denise smiled back. "The problem is not that they say things like that, it's the fact that they say it seriously. But it's okay. They make my day with their silliness."

"Passengers are very special. Their creativity should be converted into something useful, like some green form of energy."

"That would fix global warming."

As soon as Denise said that a receptionist came by and asked her to go and talk to a passenger who had a complaint about a life jacket.

"A lifejacket?" Denise asked in disbelief. "What kind of moron waits in that endless queue to complain about a lifejacket?"

The receptionist, a Brazilian named Eduardo, lowered his head humbly and started giggling. "Some stairway guide during the passenger's drill told her that if she didn't like the color of the lifejacket she could ask for a different one to her room steward. She went back to the room and asked the steward to get her a blue jacket. He said we only have orange and now she wants to complain." He explained.

Denise glanced at Sofia who was beaming a smile. "See? Welcome to my life!" She said before going to the front to speak to the passenger.

Sofia read the rest of the comments on the list and took some notes on a piece of scrap paper. Denise returned after a few minutes.

"So, how was it?"

"It took me a while to make her understand that it was a joke. Now that she understood it's a joke she wants compensation for the time she spent here, complaining. If I find who that stairway guide is, I'll kill him. I didn't need this on turnaround day. Freaking' idiots trying to be funny."

"Cam' on Denise, you have to admit it was funny."

She chuckled. "It was."

The moment she finished saying that, Kate came into the office with her flaming hair and very strangely shaped glasses on the tip of her nose. She said something about a file that no one could find and left without waiting for a reply.

"And what is that?" Sofia asked when the strange woman walked out the door.

"That is Anne's replacement and it's another thing I didn't need on turnaround day."

"Your life is not boring my friend. I give you that."

"It's like this: you can work in all kinds of departments onboard, but nothing compares to the excitement of the front desk." She retorted with sarcasm.

It was almost nine when they finished and made it to the officer's mess where they found many familiar faces, all looking very tired. Amy, Diego and Benjie seemed defeated. Two of the new receptionists looked like a train had ran over them, and as soon as the two friends found seats, Aaron arrived with a pale face and huge bags under his eyes and sat next to them without even saying hello.

"I think we need a drink..." Diego said slowly and with a very low voice, sounding just like he was about to faint.

"That was the wisest thing you said today." Benjie agreed with a forced smile and after another boring meal with the same menu of every turnaround day they went to the wardie to get that drink they so desperately needed.

"And this is why we're all about to become alcoholics." Denise snorted.

The wardroom was packed with people happy that turnaround day was over. Ian celebrated his new position as night manager and Tania was happy to be able to see the daylight and have a social life again.

The usual groups gathered in their places and Amy, Denise and Sofia listened as Carla told them enthusiastically about the new gorgeous fitness instructor.

"Good luck with that. Remember, he might be gay." Amy teased her.

"No he can't. That would be too much of a waste." Carla answered, knowing for a fact that Amy could actually be right.

"There should be a law saying that only ugly guys could be gay. Good looking ones should always be straight." Sofia claimed.

"Approved." Carla smirked.

When Kate came in through the door half the people shut up and stared. Seconds later they resumed their conversations and tried to act normal. Carla went pale for a bit and then she and Amy started giggling. Luckily Kate didn't see that because she was in the bar ordering something and talking to an odd looking engineer who appeared to be about to get sick, also a new face onboard.

"What's so funny?"

"That woman over there, Kate, she was on two ships with me. She's been dating that engineer for years. He's married and we all know he will never divorce his wife, but she keeps thinking one day he will. Once in a while the guy's wife comes onboard and Kate has to go back to her room and sleep alone until the wife goes home again." Carla told them and Amy nodded positively.

"Yes, Kate can be a complicated thing to deal with. When everything is going well with him she's not so bad but when things start going down the drain, normally because of the wife, she becomes unbearable." Amy added, leaving Denise seriously nervous.

"Are you serious? That's our new passenger relations. The woman is my supervisor."

"Sorry for you." Carla responded.

"Is there a way to find out if his wife is coming onboard anytime soon?" Denise asked, finally understanding what Elaine was talking about in the afternoon.

"Define soon."

"Before I finish my contract."

"I'll see what I can find out." Amy reassured her.

Sofia started laughing and everyone looked at her wondering what she found so amusing.

"I just realized that ships are just like those soap operas that never end. They replace the characters and the drama goes on. This is very amusing." She observed.

Later on, with a few too many drinks and her muscles begging for a bed, Denise took a shower and lay in bed hugging Diego so strongly that he felt asphyxiating.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Just one of those days, you know. Lots of issues, complicated people, Leah, carrot head who apparently wears the stripes on her head instead of wearing them on the shoulders..."

Diego chuckled.

"It's not funny." Denise complained.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing because you had a bad day. It's just even when you have a bad day you manage to come up with funny observations, like carrot head. Very appropriate. Pray that she never hears that." Diego explained, hugging her a bit closer to make her feel better.

"I'm so tired..."

"I know." He replied, not grasping that she was not referring just to that day.

* * *

It was Tauranga again and that meant another great lunch in one of those trendy restaurants and chilling out on the beach.

Denise was stuck in the office because Kate had decided to review a few things that were working just fine before she reorganized them. There was a high possibility they wouldn't be working that well afterward but Kate's purpose was not to make anything better. All she wanted was to mark the territory and get everyone to understand she was in charge. Diego was doing some lifeboat training after the drill and Ian was too tired from working all night so he went to sleep.

Sofia found herself with a few new faces in the group. Tania who now worked days and needed to socialize and Aaron brought his new girlfriend and another girl, from the shops. The girls, Anna and Tara, were a few years younger than the others and they showed a bit of discomfort at first.

The doctor found it a bit strange that Aaron suddenly had a girlfriend. A week ago they were not even dating and now he was walking the streets hand in hand with her. None of their friends had ever heard a word about this girl or his interest in her. Sofia felt relieved that they could be just friends and that he had a new distraction. She hoped it would work out for Aaron. She really wanted his happiness.

After lunch in a Thai restaurant they put the beach towels borrowed from the ship on the sand and enjoyed the sun that emerged underneath the clouds above the beach.

"This is almost like being on holidays." Tara said, trying to make some conversation with the people she didn't know.

"Holiday for three hours." Keira agreed with a sardonic smile.

Sofia turned around and put some sunscreen just in case the sun was stronger than it looked like.

"Wouldn't it be great to get at least one day off a month? I wouldn't even ask for more than that, but at least one day without worrying what time we have to be back onboard." Aaron observed hugging his new girlfriend with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"In your dreams! I heard they are talking about increasing our hours." Anna informed.

"That's insane. I already work three hundred hours a month, sometimes more. If they change the contracts I'll get another job. As much as I like this life, enough is enough." Aaron replied.

"At least we only open the shops after the ship sails and even when we have to check the stocks we still get good time off in port." Tara said, opening her mouth for the first time since they had finished lunch.

"Yes, you, the Spa and the medics at least get some decent breaks, even when you have to finish later. Most departments work complicated schedules and as much as we try to make it better it's necessary to do things that way. For example the guys in the technical department only have half a day off every two weeks. The remaining time they work all morning, get two hours off for lunch and then the entire afternoon. They never see past the terminal. The bridge guys have four hours shifts a few times a day but then they get drills and trainings all the time too. Andrea told me yesterday that he hasn't left the ship in two months. But I think the worst is for the waiters. They work at least eleven hours a day, many times more and one day a week they work eight hours; that's what they call a day off. And their contracts are at least seven months long." Aaron reminded.

"I'm happy to be a nurse." Keira murmured.

Coastal clouds slowly began to roll across the sky, splashing it with shades of gray.

Aaron looked at his watch and shrugged. "Ladies, I regret to announce that we only have another half an hour in this lovely beach because I don't know about you, but I need to be back in the office at three and those clouds are getting darker."

As soon as they reached the entrance of the port they saw the police cars and people everywhere. A crowd of passengers and crew waited right outside the ship, many of them seating on the floor. The place looked like a circus and even a television station van was there.

"What's going on?"

Sofia went forward to the entrance, and showed her ID to one of the guards. She tried to find out why there were hundreds of people waiting outside.

"Bomb scare." The guard answered coolly. "The captain gave orders not to allow anyone in until it's sorted out."

She returned to her friends and gave them the news.

"Looks like we're getting a bit more time off after all." Keira joked.

Knowing it was most likely just a scare and nothing serious would come out of it, Aaron, Tara and Anna went get ice cream while Sofia and Keira waited to see if there were any developments. At one point they saw one of the guys from the tour office doing what looked like crowd control. Sofia went to talk to him.

"Hey, what's going on? A guard told me there's a bomb scare."

Shane recognized her immediately. "Hi doc. Yes, it seems there was some sort of security breach a couple of hours ago and some unidentified objects were found onboard. First we had to do a full search of the ship, then the captain decided that whoever is onboard stays there and no one else will be allowed in until we are sure there's no danger. A team of divers was just called to check outside the ship in the water. It might be a few hours before we get clearance." He elucidated.

"Can I use your radio?"

Sofia changed the radio to channel one and called Ryan to check if she and Keira should get back onboard. After all, there were many people left there and if a medical emergency took place Ryan would need help. He called the captain and got permission for the doctor and the nurse to board the ship. Sofia and Keira were escorted by security up the gangway under the curious gaze of many passengers and crew who waited patiently outside. From the entrance it was easier to get an idea of the dimension of the ordeal. Not only there were many passengers and crew on the pier, but a huge crowd of curious watchers had gathered meanwhile. The ship's security and shore side authorities tried to keep the order and the tour office team talked to the passengers to give them updates and keep them calm.

When Sofia and Keira arrived in the medical center all the crew were still doing searches in some parts of the vessel. The orders from the captain were that every little corner of the ship had to be checked and any unknown objects found to be immediately reported.

Room stewards were told to check passenger's cabins, but many passengers also volunteered to help, which made the process quicker. Passengers loved to feel useful in emergency situations.

The front desk was hammered with phone calls and Denise brought in her entire team to assist the passengers onboard. The ship became an organized chaos.

Three objects were reported but they proved to be a wet towel wrapped inside a paper bag, a box with food that someone left behind and a backpack that was likely to end up in lost and found. It still took a couple of hours for the divers to check underwater and it was only around six o'clock that the people outside were allowed to return onboard and the ship obtained clearance to sail. Slowly everything returned to normal.

Denise, Kate and Leah managed to put their personal feelings aside for a few more hours and stayed by the reception area helping with passengers. It turned out that things didn't go that bad and most people did the same as every day: dressed up and went for dinner. No one was hurt or traumatized and by eight that evening the Ocean Pearl was the same as in any other night.

"And they didn't complain?" Sofia asked when they went for dinner in the officer's mess.

Denise chuckled. "Complain? Of course not. They loved it! After all there was no reason for panic, there was no bomb onboard and now they all have an exciting story to tell their friends when they go home."

"People are so funny. How did this happen anyway?"

"It looks like one of the security guards outside let a stranger in, this guy ran through a gangway into the ship and our security couldn't get their hands on him. A few minutes later he ran out through the other gangway."

"That's surreal. Was he caught?"

"Yes. The police ashore took him into custody. It was a bet with his friends. But of course we have to follow procedure. With all the terrorist threats happening these days we can't be too careful. So far cruise ships haven't been attacked precisely because security is so tight." Denise replied.

"And we had police and divers, a full ship's inspection and hundreds of people waiting outside because of a bet?"

"Yes."

"I hope he realizes the trouble he caused during his nights in jail." Sofia said.

"Either that, or they could send him in to clean the ship deck by deck from one end to the other for about two months. That would teach him a lesson." Amy suggested and everyone agreed with her.

Sofia disappeared into the medical center to attend a passenger who wasn't feeling well and Denise was sitting in the wardroom bored to death, trying to finish her second glass of vanilla vodka. Diego was right in front of her playing darts and the one moment he looked at her she rolled her eyes in a way that made any words unnecessary. He sat next to her for a second.

"I guess that means you don't really want to be here."

"You're a genius!" She said with sarcasm.

"Came on Denise. Don't be like that."

"Sorry honey, but I can think of a few other things I could be doing with you right now rather than seeing you and your friends throwing darts at that stupid piece of wood on the wall."

He frowned. "All right. Let me just finish this game and we'll be out of here and do whatever you like. Would that be okay?"

"Sure. But please don't take too long." She said a bit happier but not entirely convinced.

While Diego missed his last six shots she observed the people in the bar. Everybody was drinking, including her. It was like drinking was the official religion onboard. People did it regularly, with devotion and blind faith that something was going to change if they kept the liquid pouring down.

When they left, Denise felt relieved. The regulars stayed in the bar as they normally did. The remaining of the night would be as any other day. The alcohol would start making effect and everyone would think they were a lot funnier than they actually were. After a while they would get tired or bored and go to bed. The next day it started all over again.

Diego walked with her silently to the cabin. Although he didn't say anything she had the sense that he would have been happier if she had left the wardie by herself. She tried to brush away that idea and how it made her feel that her boyfriend enjoyed that dreadful place more than being with her. The thought sent a chill from the top of her head all the way to the tip of her toes. She felt empty inside.

# 14

Ryan made a deal with Sofia in Christchurch. She got some extra time off and he would get more days off the following cruise because it was his last cruise and his wife would be onboard so he wanted time to enjoy the ports with her. Sofia was happy to accept the deal and organized a visit to the International Antarctic Centre with Keira. They invited Mary as well but she had made plans to go skydiving, which didn't surprise them anymore because they knew her, but it was a wonder that a woman her age did things that many younger people were afraid to try.

First they took the shuttle bus from the ship to town and from the Cathedral Square they got the Penguin Express, a small bus decorated with penguins that made the trip to the Antarctic Centre several times a day.

The Antarctic Centre was one of New Zealand's most known attractions and had been considered the best by many visitors. Sofia and Keira bought an all-day pass and started the visit by reading in the big board at the entrance that many Antarctic missions were organized from the Christchurch International Airport and the Antarctic Centre was designed to bring a memorable experience of Antarctica to the visitors.

They learned that Antarctica is the coldest, windiest and highest continent on earth. Like an ice desert, Antarctica is drier than the Sahara, with annual precipitation of only 200mm (8 inches) along the coast and a lot less inland. There are no permanent human residents but usually there are from 1000 to 5000 people who live there throughout the year in research stations scattered across the continent.

They were told that the coldest temperature ever recorded in Antarctica was -89.2ºF and that Antarctica is twice the size of Australia, sixty times bigger than New Zealand and occupies the same area as Europe and the Mediterranean Sea together.

One of the coolest things in the Centre was the Antarctic Storm – the world's first indoor storm. In the Snow & Ice Experience they re-created the atmosphere in Antarctica, including the temperatures. Warm jackets and overshoes were provided to the visitors who then went inside and for a few minutes experienced how it would be like to be in Antarctica in the middle of a storm. The room had snow on the floor, the walls were decorated with pictures of glaciers and mountains covered in ice and there were some hills made of ice where a number of visitors took pictures. As the lights were dimed they were blown by 40 km per hour winds. Blizzard audio was played to make it feel more real and the big thermometer on the wall went down to -13ºF.

The experience of only a few minutes was hallucinating and Sofia and Keira were freezing even with the jackets on and when the wind stopped blowing the two of them ran to the exit, shivering. While they returned jackets and boots, a member of the staff reminded them that the penguins endure those conditions for months in a row, while humans nearly die with only a few minutes.

"Strong birds." Keira observed.

"Yes they are. I almost couldn't stand it and I saw a few people escaping through the side door way before it was over. It was freezing in there. No wonder no one lives in Antarctica." Sofia was still feeling cold.

"It's great that no one lives there. Maybe that way the poor penguins actually manage to survive our nasty influence."

A staff member was right next to them and answered her comment. "It would be great if it could be like that, but unfortunately it isn't. Humans are changing the weather so fast that many species don't have time to adapt and avoid extinction. There's a researcher named Bill Fraser who's been down in Antarctica for many years. He tracked the decline of the Adelie penguins from 32.000 breeding pairs to 11.000 only in thirty years.

"That's incredible." Sofia said. "I know that the poles are melting quickly but I didn't realize that the penguin population was already suffering so much."

The guy nodded with the sad expression of someone who was well aware of reality. "The average winter temperatures in the west Antarctica have risen nearly 5 degrees Celsius in the past half century. Worldwide the temperatures have warmed slower, not even one degree, but it's a lot more drastic in the poles. Even that small change is affecting the natural world deeply." He confirmed.

"It's incredible how we keep ruining the planet and nothing is done to fix it!" Keira retorted.

"It's not like nothing is being done. The Antarctic Treaty has already been signed by forty six countries that agreed to prohibit the presence of military activities or mining and support scientific research and protect the continent's ecozone. The problem is that everywhere else changes are too fast and what's been done to avoid the problems caused by global warming can't compete with the speed that global warming is changing the planet."

Sofia and Keira followed their group to the other major attractions in the center: the Penguin Encounter. Like the name said, it was a meeting point with the Little Blue Penguin - the world smallest penguin. There was a Bank Peninsula natural themed environment with a pool where the penguins could be seen from two levels while they swam and jumped out of the rocks. The Little Blue penguin was only found in Australia and New Zealand and the penguins held in the Centre were birds that had been rescued.

"They are not blue." Keira observed, looking through the thick glass on the lower floor.

"Look, when they swim and the sun light hits them there's a bluish color reflecting." Sofia pointed.

"True. Cute little things, aren't they?"

"Adorable."

Having paid for the full pass the two friends were entitled to a backstage experience with penguins and had a brief direct contact with them.

"Cool." Sofia said. "Now I have a picture with a koala, a baby croc and a little penguin. This is really awesome."

Keira nodded and smiled at her enthusiasm while they prepared for the next part of the visit. "Yes, there has to be some compensation when you work on ships. Put the pictures on the wall in your cabin and remember the good moments next time you have a passenger throwing up on your feet." She suggested with a wink.

The last part of the visit was also the more exciting: the Hagglund ride. Hagglund was the name of the all-terrain vehicles used by the scientists in Antarctica and this was the only place in the world where that experience was available.

The ride lasted nearly fifteen minutes and it recreated the same travelling conditions that exist in Antarctica. The trip was an exhilarating experience that took them over mounds, a crevasse, speeding across open ground and through a pond of water nearly as deep as the high of the vehicle, all happening at the same time the driver gave an entertaining and fun commentary.

In the gift shop Sofia bought some amazing postcards and a stuffed penguin that she named Kieran. Keira bought a cute baby seal to use as a pillow and decorate her room.

"Are you going to sleep with it?" Keira asked looking at the penguin.

"Probably." She giggled and hugged the stuffed penguin.

"Sure. And why don't you just call Keiran and get things straight with him?"

"He slept with another woman! I'm not going to crawl after him." Sofia replied annoyed.

"You don't need to crawl. Just talk to him at least. Tell him how you feel." Keira suggested.

"I don't want to talk to him. Let's go on the Hagglund again. It's a lot more fun than talking about Kieran." Sofia took Keira's hand and pulled her back to another ride, ignoring her disapproving gaze. The nurse knew it was pointless to argue. She would have to take the steps whenever she felt ready.

It took Sofia a while to worry about Kieran again. There was nothing from him on her emails and Ailish informed her that his car had been missing from the usual spot in the parking lot. She hadn't seen him in a few days.

Sofia was getting worried. What if something had happened to him? He was a workaholic. His car was a permanent resident in the parking lot of the hospital. If it hadn't been there for a few days that could be bad news. She swallowed her pride and called him. He picked up almost immediately.

"Hi. It's Sofia." She said.

"Hi Sofia, how are you?" He asked cheerfully.

She paused. That wasn't the reaction she was expecting from him. "I'm okay and you?"

"Surprised. Didn't expect to hear from you. Is everything all right?" He replied in a soft voice.

"Ailish said she hasn't seen you in a while. I was worried."

"I'm fine. Just took a few days off. I'm driving through the country. The therapist says it's good for me." He explained.

Sofia could hardly believe that. "I don't know what is the most amazing thing: you taking days off or you out of the city."

"I thought you would be happy to know I'm doing what the therapist said."

"I am happy, but it's still a surprise. I am glad you're okay..."

Sensing she was going to finish the call he interrupted. "I told you where I am. It's only fair that you tell me where you are."

She looked outside the port hole and saw a lifeboat passing by, meaning the bridge was in training. "I'm on a cruise ship sailing from New Zealand to Australia." She replied quickly. Then she heard him hit the brakes.

"You're on a cruise? In New Zealand? Why?"

"I took a job as a ship's doctor." She replied.

"In New Zealand? Didn't they have openings on a space shuttle to the moon or something?" He asked, angrily.

"What is your problem? Why is it such a major deal that I'm in New Zealand?"

"Because that means the woman I love is on the other side of the world, that's why!"

That took Sofia by surprise and she didn't know what to say. An awkward silence got between them until he broke it.

"What's going on Sofia? Why can't you just come back?" Kieran insisted. "I know I'm a bit screwed up but I am working on it very hard. I've already apologized. Please don't make me beg."

"I would never expect you to beg me for anything. But it's not the right time for me to go back. I need to be sure this is not just a temporary thing."

"And when will you be sure?" He asked impatiently.

"That depends on you. Nice to hear your voice Kieran. Love you." She hung up immediately so he didn't have time to say anything else.

Sofia sat on the bed next to Denise who had been there as quiet as a mouse listening to the conversation and feeling like a spy.

"I'm glad there's more than one coward onboard." Denise observed.

Sofia looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I'm not a coward. And who are the other ones?"

"Me! The one with a useless, inconsiderate boyfriend she can't break up with. At least your boyfriend wants you. Shouldn't you be using your energy fixing up your relationship? One of us could be happy." Denise said with resignation.

Sofia stood up so quickly she felt dizzy and had to sit down again. "You are unbelievable! No, I can't do things the way Kieran wants. He needs to put the effort and show me how much I really matter to him. If I don't force him to work harder he will just accommodate and everything will go back to the same. Maybe you should do the same with Diego, make him see who you really are. You're dating a guy who doesn't even know the real you." She pointed out.

"If I do that Diego will forget I exist in no time and I'll be even more miserable. He's not the kind of guy who works hard on a relationship. If it works it works, if it doesn't he moves on."

"Which only proves you're wasting your time with him. You should break up and just be friends and hang out with him once in a while. You would have a lot more fun." Sofia suggested.

"I'll do that if you sign off and go back to Kieran next turn around." Denise replied challenging her.

"Not going to happen!"

"That's my point."

"Are you on drugs?" Sofia asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"No. Why?"

"You are strangely calm."

"I'm saving myself for the next few days. But if there's any powerful medicine you can give me to help, anything is welcome."

Sofia looked at Denise and studied her face. She looked like she was walking in the clouds. "What's going to happen the next few days?"

"Didn't you read the captain's memo? Bad weather. The Tasmanian Sea is going to remind us of its power. Plus I have the usual ongoing dramas on my department."

"Why are you so worried about the Tasmanian Sea? Are we in danger?"

"My brain is in danger. You will be just fine. The ship rocking for a few days means many, many complaints." Denise replied with a grin at Sofia's sudden concern with safety.

"What's the point of complaining about bad weather?"

"The same of blasting a horn when you're stuck in traffic. There is no point, the cars won't move any faster, but people still do it."

"Your job sucks!" Sofia concluded.

"I know, and that's why we are going to the crew bar tonight. I need some drinks to help me survive. It seems like the photographers are organizing a pink party. Everyone is supposed to wear something pink."

"Pink?" Sofia muttered. "There's nothing pink in my closet. I don't like to look like a marshmallow."

"Wear whatever you want. I'm wearing black to match my mood." Denise retorted.

Just as she said that, they heard a banging sound right outside the cabin, by the porthole. They glanced in that direction and saw something bright orange blocking the view. The lifeboat was moving slowly and hitting the side of the ship. On the top, Stefano, one of the ventilation officers, smiled and waved. The girls waved back and smiled.

"Looks like it's a good think we're not naked or something like that. Isn't there any privacy on this ship?" Sofia asked, faking annoyance.

"None at all. And I'm pretty sure the staff captain won't be impressed with them battering the ship like that. It will rip off the paint."

"It's a bit windy today. They can blame it on that."

"Their problem, thank goodness I wasn't assembled for this one. I hate driving lifeboats. Every time I try to put them back I always get someone from the bridge screaming at me and making me feel like an absolute idiot."

"And why did you learn to drive those things then?"

"Because there was one point in my career at sea when I was very innocent and believed that having that training could be good for me. If I had known..."

* * *

Many people had ignored the detail that they were supposed to wear pink. A party was a party and everyone went whichever way they liked. The spa girls showed up in pink pajamas with angels and stars and the photographers did a wonderful job with the decoration.

More people arrived and although pink was not the predominant color; the reason for the party didn't matter, as long as there was one. Good music, a bar and happy people made the party.

The photographers arrived shortly after midnight and if anyone still believed that pink wasn't cool they were just about to change their minds when the group walked through the doors wearing amazing hand painted t-shirts for the guys and tops for the girls. They were not exposing too much flesh, much the opposite, but no one looked better than them in the entire crew bar.

Diego and Aaron decided to be funny and showed up dressed like girls, with dresses, wigs and makeup. Sofia and Denise couldn't stop laughing when they arrived.

"Does this mean I have to be a lesbian now?" Denise joked.

"Only for tonight." Diego replied and kissed her carefully so it wouldn't ruin his lipstick.

"You should have shaved. It would be more convincing." Sofia observed and he winked.

The night went surprisingly well and even Denise tried hard to set her mind free from her usual troubles and have a good time. Sofia met some of the crew members that joined the ship in Auckland and made two new friends in the photographers department thanks to the t-shirts they were wearing. She convinced one of them to make one for her.

Diego and Aaron went back to their cabins and returned shortly after, wearing normal men's clothing. Around one, the DJ changed the music and played salsa, which was very popular with so many crew members from South America and Mexico onboard.

Sofia was very surprised when Diego invited her to dance assuming that being Portuguese she could do salsa. The two gave a real show and Denise observed impressed how her boyfriend moved through the dance floor and showed everyone what dancing was about. Once the song was over a few more girls lined up for a turn and Denise was still so surprised she didn't even feel jealous. She stepped forward and took her boyfriend away from the claws of a Brazilian waitress who found another partner a second latter.

"You never told me you could dance like that!" She murmured to his ear while Diego drove her around and she tried to keep up.

"We all have our talents my dear." He replied.

"You have to teach me the steps you were doing with Sofia. That looked awesome."

"Sure. You're not too bad. I'm sure I can make you a pro in no time." He told her with a confident grin.

* * *

The captain was right. As soon as the ship sailed from the protection of the Fiords the winds of the Tasmanian Sea hit strong. Any passengers or crew who believed that big ships were steadier and motion couldn't be felt, were about to find out how wrong they were. Bigger ships were only better until the waves started hitting deck 8. When it was that bad no ship could resist the rocking and rolling and even those with good sea legs would meet their limits.

The first day of trouble, the captain made an announcement advising that there was rough weather ahead and told everyone about the safety measures but a lot of people didn't think it was going to be that bad, especially the crew. The open decks were closed and the water drained from the pools. Since a lot of passengers were nauseous there were no major complaints about the limitations of recreation onboard. All the shows in the theater had to be cancelled, the shops had secured everything they had in display and after the second passenger fell off a treadmill the fitness instructors turned them off. The gym remained open for anyone brave enough to be on deck 15 forward as long as they weren't running on moving belts.

Denise was in the back office with a major head ache but at least there was no queue in the front desk because passengers couldn't even stand up much less walk and the only idiot who showed up was a passenger who was already drunk so the fact that the ship felt like a rollercoaster in slow motion didn't make much of a difference to him. He had already caused trouble and Leah had closed his account after his credit card had been declined for payments.

This time, and after insulting and shouting at all the receptionists because he wanted his account open again, Leah decided to talk to him. Denise couldn't resist taking a look from the corner. There were some rare moments when it was good to have Leah as a supervisor.

As soon as the passenger saw how big she was compared to his little skinny figure, he took two steps back and nearly fell on his back before he leaned against the desk for support.

The passenger, a Scottish man named Richard Murphy, demanded for her to open his account because he couldn't buy anything from the bar. Leah asked him how he managed to get so drunk if his account had been blocked for the last three days and he blamed it on his friends. For someone travelling alone he certainly had great social skills. Despite the amount of noise he produced, including a great deal of bad language, Leah proved that she could shout louder.

"If you're not out of my way right now I'll get security to lock you in your cabin for the rest of the cruise!" She told him. He turned around and went wobbling downstairs.

That was the most exciting event in the afternoon. The receptionists were bored and Denise had so much time in her hands she was able to finish the schedule for the following cruise. Despite her head ache and her chair being dragged from side to side by the motion, she was determined to make the best of the quiet time she was having and get as much work done as possible. By the time she was done she was very satisfied with her productivity but all she could think about was to go to bed and watch movies with a pillow behind her neck.

Since Diego seemed to be immune to sea sickness, she asked him to bring her a sandwich to avoid having to walk to officer's mess, a difficult task with the ship moving like that. Not only he brought her the sandwich, he also stayed in the room and took off his uniform.

"Did they close the wardroom too?" Denise asked when she got out of the shower wrapped in a towel. She was less dizzy after drinking a can of ginger ale.

"No. But it's empty. Everyone is either sick or tired. And I'm bored." He answered sitting on the bed and changing channels on TV not really interested in any of them.

Denise used the bathroom door for support and dropped the towel on the floor.

"Are you sure you're bored?" She murmured and he turned around, examining her with his eyes from top to bottom.

It didn't take him more than one second to give her the answer and she felt grateful for the bad weather. With or without a head ache she had her boyfriend all for herself and she didn't intend to waste the opportunity to have some quality time with him.

* * *

In the medical center things didn't go quite so well and everyone was up to their eyes with patients. The entire Hit Squad team had been there the entire day cleaning vomit and no one could stand it anymore.

Most passengers didn't spend a long time with the doctors and went to bed as soon as they were given some medication. By dinner time the madness was easing but far from being over, as the captain made another announcement advising that the bad weather was not going to ease anytime soon.

There were only a few tables with passengers in the dining rooms and the bars were empty, which translated into bad news for Richard Murphy who was finding it hard to make more friends to pay for his drinks.

Sofia only arrived in her cabin at ten in the evening and after such a day she too felt a bit sick. She took a sleeping pill to help her rest. There was nothing else to do and she really needed to sleep.

It was hard to rest with the feeling of being thrown out of bed any moment and there were squeaking sounds everywhere. She managed to get a few hours of sleep but not nearly as much as she desired.

The next morning she read in Ian's report that some passengers had spent the night in the lobby wearing lifejackets. Despite his protests and guarantees that the ship wasn't in any danger, the passengers insisted that they couldn't stand being in their cabins on deck 12 and 14 and they decided to stay right there and sleep on the chairs.

The second day of stormy weather didn't bring any changes. Everyone who was not suffering from sea sickness felt tired and most passengers spent the day in bed watching television. The ones who had balconies could appreciate the strength of the sea from the comfort of their cabins and the ones who didn't could turn to the channel that showed the images captured by the bridge camera and be grateful they were not outside.

Denise felt all right as long as she didn't have to stand up but some receptionists called in sick and she had to readjust the schedules of those not suffering from motion sickness. There weren't any passengers visiting the front desk and everyone wondered how long it would take for the sea to calm down to a bearable level.

"I've never had this for so long before." Tania commented in the back office looking as pale and tired as everyone else.

"I remember once in the Caribbean we had two days like this because there was a hurricane nearby and the wind was really strong. But I just called the bridge and it looks like we might still have it until tomorrow." Kate said, looking helpless.

"Really? That's crazy. Last night I couldn't sleep much with the noise. Another night like this and I'll be the one sick." Denise complained as the ship went slowly up and then down again and she nearly fell of the chair.

"We might miss Hobart. But keep that information for now. It's not confirmed yet. The captain will make the announcement if it gets to that." Kate informed sounding nicer than usual, which reminded Denise that not everything was bad when the sea was rough.

During lunch break some people adventured to go to the officer's mess for a meal. It was not a good idea to starve for another day. Most of them played safe and took dry food that wouldn't make them sick so easily, but Denise was craving real food and there was pesto lasagna on the menu so she ordered it and hoped she wouldn't regret being that bold.

Diego, Aaron and Amy ate normal meals and acted like the waves were not splashing the windows every five seconds and the ship wasn't jumping up and down.

"I can't believe you people are in this for two days and you don't even feel a headache. What's the trick?"

"I don't know. Sea legs or whatever you want to call it." Aaron replied.

"We all have sea legs. You people are just not normal!" Denise retorted.

"I could go on a roller coaster after lunch and I would still be fine. My stomach is strong." Diego affirmed and Amy nodded affirmatively with her head.

Denise looked at them with annoyance. "I'm so jealous of you. I can barely move and my head weights a ton."

Everyone giggled at her expression of misery.

"No worries. If you keep that lasagna in your stomach I promise you can join our club." Amy told her with a grin.

Afraid that Amy could be right, Denise had only half a portion and ate some dry bread. The formula worked and in the afternoon she was feeling much better.

There were no further announcements and passengers were getting stressed and called the front desk asking how long the motion was going to last. No one knew for sure and that made them frustrated. Complains started piling up and some passengers even insulted the captain like he was doing it on purpose to ruin their holidays.

The receptionists discarded the bad comments, ignored the other ones and once the passengers realized that it didn't matter how much they complained, it was not going to change, they left the reception alone.

"These people should get a life!" Sonya said typing another comment in the computer.

"Unfortunately we need them to pay our salaries." Denise replied with compassion, knowing exactly how it felt to be in that position but feeling sorry for the passengers as well. They had expected a wonderful holiday and it was disappointing to face such harsh conditions.

"I would pay them to get out of my way and stop calling bad names to the captain. One of them came by this morning demanding to talk to the captain because apparently he knows of some route that would avoid the bad weather. Can you believe that?"

"Wannabe navigators. Don't worry, once this is over they will forget all about it." Denise said with conviction.

One more night of rocking and rolling and the next day, when the sea became less aggressive, everyone was dreaming about stepping on land again but the captain spoiled the fun and made an announcement at eight o'clock that due to weather conditions it wasn't safe to go to Hobart so the ship was going to be sailing straight to Melbourne, where she would arrive the one day ahead of schedule and stay overnight.

It was joy for the crew and absolute distress for the passengers. The calm in the front desk disappeared and many came to complain and demand a credit for missing a port. The first purser had to explain that refunds wouldn't be issued if a port was missed due to weather conditions because it was not something the cruise line could control. It was in the contracts but many passengers weren't understanding and didn't care what the contract said. All of a sudden their holidays were ruined since they only took the cruise because they wanted to see Hobart. The truth was that the passengers were bored and another sea day would only make it worse so they complained and complained hoping that the company would give them something in return to make them happy.

The ship still rocked but not nearly as bad and life slowly returned to normal. Crew made their plans for the unexpected overnight in Melbourne and the passengers who were not that excited about it came up with plans to use the extra time.

Sofia returned to the medical center anticipating a quiet afternoon when Richard Murphy came back from the land of the wasted. He ducked through the front door straight into the doctor's office where luckily there was no one else and sat in front of her barefoot and with a broad smile. He smelled so bad she nearly threw up.

"Who are you and what do you want?" She asked belligerently. She remembered the first purser's email with a picture of him and a warning of his behavior. She held a rubber glove against her nose to avoid the disgusting smell of alcohol mixed with smelly feet coming from him.

"There's something wrong with my feet." He affirmed, sounding confused.

"Yes, there is. You need to wash them. Actually, please put your entire body underneath the shower and stay there until you smell like a person." She ordered.

"I'm serious." He answered irritated.

"So am I. Now get out of my office. If you have medical problems go to the reception and fill the forms like everyone else."

"You can't talk to me like that, lassie. I'm sick." He insisted and didn't move one inch.

Sofia couldn't be bothered to reply and argue with a crazy person so she left the door open and called Mary and Carla. As soon as she stood up she could see the infection in both his feet. As drunk as he was, he was telling the truth about needing medical help.

While the nurses made sure he behaved, Sofia called Leah. The passenger had the account closed and medical care was not free. Leah confirmed that the only thing to do was to treat him, post the charges to his account and make him sign a promissory note. If by the end of the cruise he failed to pay his bills then the lawyers would take it from there. Pleased enough with the answer, Sofia returned to her office where both Mary and Carla were disgusted by the appearance of the man and the smell of his filthy body.

Sofia found some cuts between his toes that explained how the bacteria got into his blood stream. She gave him IV treatment to make it work faster and some pills. She told him he couldn't have alcohol and he wasn't pleased. He became abusive again. Ryan stepped in and they got into an argument that ended up with the first purser deciding to disembark him in Melbourne, for everyone's relief.

# 15

Overnights were such a rare event that when they happened, crew members went wild before the chance to party in the city until very late hours.

For some department's despair, the next morning many people weren't there to work. Denise had three receptionists that decided to stay in bed and she was forced to wake them up with a harsh phone call. The tour office was also missing two of their staff at the time they needed to dispatch the tours and the restaurants were short staffed with many people too hangover to serve passengers.

"You know what?" Diego said at lunch time. "I was out last night too. We came back late and didn't get much sleep. But I was in the office on time."

"Unfortunately not everyone takes professional responsibility that seriously." Natalie observed, quite upset with the mess her staff caused by being late. "I only got the tours out on time today because Denise sent me Sonya to help."

"My three missing receptionists are getting it all back. Starting tomorrow they are working at six in the morning every day for the next two weeks." Denise informed.

"I hope my guys had a good time last night because I'll make sure they won't have another one like that for a while." Natalie added.

Amy nodded affirmatively. "I don't like seeing adults being treated like children, but sometimes it's necessary to show them that they can't just ignore their duties and leave the burden for everyone else to deal with."

"I must say I do understand them. They spend such a long time onboard with these tight rules and working every day without a proper break. It's not like they have a weekend or a day off once in a while to enjoy themselves." Tania reminded.

"Maybe that's why we don't normally have overnights. People abuse the freedom." Diego suggested.

"The reason why we don't overnights is because they would cost a lot of money to the company. Guests would eat in town instead of spending money onboard, the shops and the casino would close... big loss in revenue. Honestly, I prefer we sail during the night, less trouble and less paperwork." Amy concluded.

* * *

Sofia met David for breakfast but he didn't look as cheerful and happy as usual. She sat next to him and he barely looked at her.

"Hi David. Are you ok?" She asked with concern.

"Hi Sofia. Sorry honey, I'm not having a good day." He replied vaguely.

"What happened? Can I help?"

He gave her a shy smile. "I wish you could. I just got a call from my wife about a first engineer I used to work with. The guy is dying of brain cancer. He's thirty and he won't live more than another day or two. "

Sofia's memory went back to Jamie. Cancer. There was always someone too young dying of some sort of cancer. Of all the diseases in the world cancer was probably the cruelest. People get infections from untreated wounds, they can get AIDS through blood or sexual fluids, malaria from a mosquito bite and so on, but cancer just happens to anyone at any age and many times when the first symptoms manifest it is already too late.

"I'm so sorry David, I don't know what to say."

"When a doctor doesn't know what to say, how can I? I've been very lucky so far. Never lost anyone very close to me. My parents are very old but they are still alive. Mark will be the first. Have you ever lost anyone?" He asked.

"Two years ago my father was murdered and last year my boyfriend's nephew died of cancer in my arms."

He looked at her bewildered. "I'm sorry darling. I didn't think you would have gone through so much already."

"People die every day. It's not a matter of if; it's a matter of when. We have to live with the pain."

"Do they teach you that in med school?"

"As doctors we are more familiar with death than most people but it doesn't mean it's easier for us. We just have to gather all our strength to keep it going. Our soundness of mind and our professional performance depend on it."

"I see... that must be hard. What about your boyfriend? You never talked about him before."

"It's complicated. We needed some time apart."

"Is that why you are here?"

"Yes. And I am sorry but I really need to go to work. I know you're going through a hard time. If you need to talk, please page me." She offered and gave him a warm smile that tugged at his heart.

"Thanks. It's going to be tough to keep focused with this happening. I can't stop thinking about Mark and how helpless I am."

"I'm sorry David, I really am." She said one more time.

As soon as the medical center opened in the morning Sofia saw an Asian girl sitting in the crew waiting room in a strange position. She looked like she was in terrible pain. Sofia called immediately to check on her. The girl was pale and her uniform skirt was wet. As soon as she laid down on the stretcher for observation the girl screamed. Sofia noticed the round shape of her belly and shouted at Keira to get Ryan as another contraction made the patient cry.

"What's going on?" The nurse asked before she looked better at the patient.

"She's having a baby." The doctor replied checking her dilatation.

"What?! That's crazy."

"It might be crazy, but I'll give you about one hour and we'll have another person onboard."

The girl looked at Sofia with panic eyes. "Me, no pregnant." She mumbled in broken English.

"Sorry dear, you are pregnant and your baby is about to be born. Didn't you know you were pregnant?!" Sofia queried not sure if the girl was nuts or if there was a language issue.

"No. Me no pregnant." She insisted.

"All right, Naly. You work for housekeeping, right?" Sofia read her name in the tag and recognized the uniform.

She nodded with her eyes filling with tears.

"We're going to call someone from the Philippines who can talk to you in your language so we can understand you better. Meanwhile, you are going to do as I say, all right? Don't be afraid." Sofia asked slowly, hoping that she would understand and held her hand to give her more confidence.

"I do. Me hurt." She replied.

Ryan arrived and so did Mary. The nurses started preparing things for child birth and the doctors went out to talk to the housekeeping manager as soon as he arrived with another Filipino girl who would help with the conversation.

The housekeeping manager told them he had no idea she was pregnant and paced around the room nervously. The girl with him was Naly's roommate and she too claimed she didn't know, which was even more absurd.

"How could you share a room with her and not notice she was pregnant?" Ryan asked incredulously.

"She is chubby so I though she put on some weight. I never saw her get sick or say anything about a baby. She was planning to go on holidays to visit her aunt in Los Angeles in two months. I don't think she knew she was pregnant. Swear-to-God."

Ryan and Sofia looked at each other dumbfounded.

"What else will happen on this ship?" Sofia wondered.

"Don't ask. Anything is possible." Ryan replied. "Someone page Tania and tell her to start preparing the paperwork. We will have to explain to the authorities why we have an extra person onboard when we arrive in port." He ordered.

"Do you know who the father might be?" Sofia enquired.

"Don't know. She's been onboard for about ten months and she was going to finish in a month." The roommate replied. "But I really don't know who the father might be. Naly doesn't talk much."

"So she's doing an eleven month contract, cleaning rooms every day and she just spent an entire pregnancy without a medical check!" Ryan observed. "That's going to make it interesting. Let's pray that this baby is fine."

When they saw the baby coming out and start crying it was general relief. At a first sight the boy was healthy. The mother was only tired and scared.

A few more tests confirmed that they were both fine and mother and son were kept for observation until they could be disembarked the next day.

Naly decided to name the baby Ryan and the senior doctor couldn't help a big smile when he held the little guy wrapped in a blanket. Sofia spent a few minutes with him in the office and they shared a coffee and biscuits.

"Did this ever happen to you before?" She asked with curiosity.

"I disembarked several crew members who got pregnant onboard, but never has a crew member given birth on one of my ships. I'm still puzzled that she didn't know she was pregnant." Ryan replied.

"It's unusual, but it happens."

"Yes, but she would have felt more tired, or at least the baby moving inside her. It's insane that she was never seen by a doctor. She could have lost that baby working twelve hours a day during her pregnancy. She could have faced serious complications as well."

"Do you think she might be lying?"

"I don't know. If she knew she was pregnant and kept it a secret all this time, she is very stupid. But I wouldn't be surprised. We would have disembarked her and she would lose the money for the contract."

"Nuts. Now she's got a baby that will have to be put on a plane back to the Philippines very soon and she doesn't even have clothes for him." Sofia said, feeling sorry for the baby.

"It is a crazy world this one. I've been on ships for six years and every time I think I've seen everything something else happens." Ryan concluded.

Sofia went to the back office on deck 5 and met Tania to do the paperwork with her. She was not impressed. It was very difficult to explain an extra person onboard, but the situation was somehow funny. Everybody in the pursers department knew the story and there was an unusual movement of people in the back office, pretending to pass by but clearly eavesdropping.

"Who's the father?" Kate asked from behind her desk.

"Supposedly it's a Filipino waiter who disembarked three months ago and has no idea he's a daddy."

"Poor girl. She'll have to travel alone with the infant after she gave birth. That has to be hard." Denise observed.

"She'll be taken to a hospital tomorrow and as soon as she gets clearance the port agent will arrange a flight to take her home. I cleared it with the company and everybody in head office was very understanding. She will not travel until its safe and the company will pay for everything she needs until she's home." Tania clarified.

"That's good to know. Extra points for head office. I still think it's very sad that she just had a baby and there's no one here for her. She must feel very lonely." Denise insisted.

"She probably does. But she's lucky that baby is alive and healthy." Sofia answered and as she spoke her pager started vibrating. She called the number back and ran off through the door on deck 5, leaving everyone behind enthusiastically gossiping.

Sofia took the first elevator she found and met David in his cabin. His face was very sad when he opened the door.

"Hi David."

He looked at her emptily and didn't reply.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"My wife called one hour ago. Mark is gone." He murmured, feeling his heart tight on his chest.

"I'm sorry." She said and hugged him.

They sat near each other for a while saying nothing and Sofia eventually broke the silence.

"Do you want to know something ironic?" She asked.

"Tell me."

"I helped delivering a baby two hours ago."

David observed her for a moment. "Someone had a baby onboard?" He asked with surprise but no enthusiasm at all. "You have to tell me that story some other time."

"Sure. Is there anything you want me to do? Should I order food?" Sofia asked feeling a bit out of place and not knowing what else to say.

"I haven't eaten since breakfast. It's like there's something stuck in my stomach."

"That's your nerves. You should get a soup or something like that. This is me talking like a doctor. As a friend I understand if you don't want to eat."

"Do you know what the worst thing about this job is? This. My friend just died in England and I am on the other side of the world. It scares me that one day my wife or one of my kids gets sick or in an accident and it will take me two days to get home. I know I couldn't stop Mark from dying, but I wasn't there. I should have been with him, as a friend. I knew that boy since he was a cadet." He acknowledged painfully.

Sofia lowered her head and thought about his words. "I never thought about that. It's true; it takes about two days to get from here to Europe considering the connection flights. But you've been at sea for twenty years and that has never happened. Maybe it never will. Being afraid doesn't change anything. It only makes things harder. And you shouldn't have to feel guilty. I'm sure Mark would understand and he would never have blamed you for being here."

"Yes, I guess he wouldn't but still, I will always regret it. Friends are important, they're like family and I shouldn't be stuck on the other side of the world while my friend was taking his last breath. It's just not right."

"It's not right, but it's life, especially when you're at sea. I'm sure Mark knew how much you cared about him."

They talked for a little longer and David felt a twinge of relief for at least having someone to talk to, someone who understood what death does to the ones that are still alive. By the time Sofia left, he gathered the strength he had left and called Mark's family to give them a word of comfort.

Sofia's memory took her back to her father's funeral. The coffin was closed because there was hardly anything left of his body. The explosion had been extremely destructive. The only thing that gave her a bit of relieve was to know that he hadn't suffered. According to the police it was so quick he wouldn't even have seen it coming. One second he was alive, the next he was dead. His funeral had been a cold, dull ceremony, done just for the sake of his public image. Antonio had been a public figure and the family agreed to give a chance to everyone who knew him to say goodbye. By the end of that day, after her father's body was finally resting on the ground, Sofia felt like the entire thing had been a bad dream. Nothing made sense, the fact that someone killed him on his birthday, the strange ceremony, but especially the fact that he was really gone, forever. Sofia's biggest regret was that she never had a chance to make amends with him. He hadn't been the nicest person on earth, but he was her father.

And then there was Jamie. Jamie was only a child. He was six years old. The pain of seeing him suffer through cancer and dying so helplessly was excruciating.

When Sofia returned to her cabin she called Kieran. He found her voice edgy and asked if she was feeling well.

"Everything is fine." She said. "I just want to make sure you're okay too."

"Why? You sound worried. What's going on?"

She made a short pause to think of what would be appropriate to say.

"A few things happened to other people and made me think. I just wanted to hear your voice." She answered vaguely.

"You can hear my voice whenever you want. You can also be with me whenever you decide. You know I'm waiting for you." He reminded her.

She managed a halfhearted smile she wished he could see. "I know..."

"Sofia..."He pleaded, "please don't hang up yet."

"I wasn't going to."

"It's just that every time you call you always cut me off. It makes me feel like you're trying to get rid of me. I miss talking to you." He told her with a warm voice.

"Sorry. I only do that because it's easier than to get into the good-bye-talk-to-you-soon process. I miss talking to you too. It wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings."

"Well, it does. So please, talk to me." He pressed.

"About what?"

"I don't know, anything that comes to your mind."

She paused for a moment.

"This is so awkward. I feel like my mind just got empty right now. I can't think of anything to say. Nothing at all." She giggled nervously.

"If it helps, I was just thinking about that day after your surgery when I discharged you from the hospital. When I asked if you had anyone to pick you up and you said no, I'm alone. That almost sounded like a different kind of message to me but I thought I was imagining things."

"Well, I was on drugs so it is likely that my sub-conscious was sending messages without my permission." She chuckled.

"And then Ailish came by and spoiled my fun. I was going to offer to drive you home but she anticipated."

"You know she meant well, plus, considering we shared the apartment it would only make sense that she looked after me."

He sighed. "I know, but it made me very anxious. I spent the next three days wondering how you were doing before I gathered the courage to visit." He confessed.

"And then you came over that night, after work. I remember you said you were driving by and you thought you could check on me. All very professional. You were so stiff I thought you had found some rare disease on my last blood tests and I was going to be told I only had a few days left to live."

He laughed out loud. "I was just nervous. I didn't know what would be suitable to say and you made it all seem so easy."

"You mean I rant a lot, right?"

"I liked your ranting. You were really funny and it made me feel like we had been friends for a long time."

"That was actually a fun night, despite the fact that I was still in pain and my hair looked like a haystack." She observed amused.

"That was the night I fell in love with you." He confessed.

"Really? I thought it had taken a good bit longer. How come you never told me that before?"

He snorted. "I didn't think it was that relevant and then, you always seemed so sure of your own assumptions I didn't want to spoil it for you."

"Thanks!" She replied sarcastically.

"I'm going to tell you something else I have never told you before. You remember that intern, Martin, who was in the hospital for a while?"

"Yes, sure I do." She answered, making a mental picture of the gorgeous twenty three year old that got so many heads spinning between patients and hospital staff.

"I was so jealous of that guy like you wouldn't imagine. It was very, very hard not to break his cocky nose a few times." He confessed with a slight tone of embarrassment.

She chuckled, remembering a few interesting episodes involving Martin and the female crowd.

"Not funny." Kieran retorted.

"Actually, it's really funny to imagine you of all people jealous of someone like Martin. He might have made it to med school, but let's be realistic, I wouldn't consider him competition to you."

"And why wouldn't I be jealous of a guy who wouldn't miss a chance to be all over you?"

"Because you're always so confident." She replied automatically.

"I'm confident doing my job. With you I was just trying very hard so I wouldn't lose your attention. It wasn't easy. The first time we kissed I was shaking. It felt like I was twelve all over again."

"Wow, and I thought I was the one in panic." She confessed.

He grinned. "You always gave me the impression that everything was under your control. Like you could see the future and you knew exactly what was going to happen next."

She chuckled again. "I guess we both missed excellent career opportunities in the entertainment industry. For the record, I was nervous too and I had no idea what was going to happen next. I'm only human."

"Good to know. Sometimes I wonder if you get extra shots of strength from somewhere I don't know."

"What makes you think that?"

"You said you loved me but you were able to leave. I could never have done that." He declared.

She paused, feeling like she had just swallowed broken glass. "I do love you. And I didn't leave you. It was temporary. It took everything from me. I'm not sure I could do it again."

"Don't even think about it. When I get you back I will never let you go again."

"Bossy, aren't we?" She joked.

"My life doesn't make any sense without you Sofia. I can't lose you again."

She sighed with relief when she heard those words. "You never lost me Keiran. I've been yours from the moment we met."

They stayed on the phone chatting and learning each other's thoughts and memories until her calling card was over. When they said goodbye Sofia was again certain that they would be together soon and that everything was going to be alright. That was a very comforting thought. She wanted to finish her contract and do her job, but knowing that Kieran would be waiting for her when she left made her feel so excited she was starting to count the days to go home. She finally felt like she had something to go back to.

# 16

In Sydney another challenging turnaround day started with the usual jumble of passengers looking for their bags in the terminal building, checking in and trying to find where to go once they boarded the ship.

For the crew with time to go ashore it was a beautiful day with the white roofs of the Opera House shining under the sun and thousands of people out and about.

Denise managed a quick escape for just two hours and used the time to do a little sightseeing, take pictures and visit a couple of shops to buy one thing that had been bothering her not to have: newspapers. Crew members are people who live completely disconnected from the world. Whatever is going on outside the metal walls of the ship is unknown to them and by the time they get home it's hard to catch up with the last six or seven months.

She bought the Australian Times, the Sydney Morning Herald and the New York Times. She also got a few chick-flick magazines just for the fun of reading silly articles on how to look like a movie star and to become a sex goddess. It made her happy enough to feel that little bit closer to the real world, even if all those news were going to be history two days later.

She returned to the ship at lunch time with two big boxes of pizza and once she paged her best friend and her boyfriend, who were both stranded onboard with work up to their eyes, there was a cabin picnic. They left the door open because of the smell and that same smell attracted a few unexpected guests that turned it into a little afternoon party.

"Did I read that email about the Eagles right? This is a gay cruise?" Sofia asked Denise who immediately started laughing.

"Well, sort off. The Eagles are a gay club formed by tall, well-built and normally hairy men and we have nearly three hundred of them onboard this cruise. I can promise it's going to be interesting."

"I think I like the other Eagles better, the ones who make music." Diego retorted with a big slice of pizza on the way to his mouth.

"Wait a minute, we have a gay cruise, but only some of the passengers are gay?"

"I'm so happy I work in the crew office." Amy observed with relief.

"So am I." Diego added.

"I'm not that lucky." Allison added. "But I can tell we will have a lot to talk about this cruise."

Sofia distributed more slices of pizza, happy they got two big ones. Anything less and they wouldn't have been able to feed everyone.

"I'm guessing no one told the other passengers they are going to share their holiday with nearly three hundred bearded gay men, right?" She enquired.

"Of course not!"

"I'll keep an extra eye on the night report and the file that the front desk keeps this cruise. There might be some entertaining reading there." Sofia remarked.

In the afternoon, Ryan arrived with his beautiful and charming wife, Karima. She was originally from France and used to be a photographer onboard. Since they got married she was living in Cape Town, working as a photographer in her studio and traveling with her husband once in a while. Sofia became friends with her almost immediately.

After the passengers drill, Karima came by with a hard drive and showed Sofia some of her pictures since the doctor was so interested in photography.

Sofia was impressed. The images were amazing and by the time they went through all of them Africa was on top of her list of places to visit.

"The only African country I've ever seen was Egypt, but that was mostly the usual historical traveling. Pyramids, Cairo Museum, Luxor, we did a three day cruise in the Nile. But that isn't really the same as experiencing Africa. After seeing your pictures it really makes me want to go there but I always found it so unsafe. It scares me a bit. That's why I've given priority to other destinations."

Karima gave her an understanding smile. "It is unsafe to a certain extent but there are ways to be there safely, just like anywhere in the world. Keep in mind that Africa is the most amazing destination in the world. Nothing against everywhere else and every place has its own charm. Everywhere on Earth there is something worth seeing but Africa my dear, gets in your soul. Once you have felt it you will never be the same." Karima said with enthusiasm.

"Don't you miss the cosmopolitan life of Paris?"

"Paris is a beautiful city and I love it. But I love the place where I live now a lot more. Sometimes it would be nice to have some of the things I would find in France, but every time I go to the balcony and smell the earth after the rain, every time I take a safari and come across with a leopard or a lion, I know I am where I belong." Karima answered happily.

"That's great. You need to give me some advice on places to go and maybe some photography lessons. I've learned a lot on my own and I have a good camera, but nothing like learning from the professionals." Sofia asked and Karima agreed, happy to share her knowledge.

By the end of the day there was nothing too interesting in the file about the gay group. The other passengers were probably too busy unpacking and finding their way around the ship to notice their fellow passengers...yet.

Ryan invited the medical team for dinner in the Italian restaurant where it was very easy to get a table on turnaround day and they watched sail away on the back of the ship.

Sail away from Sydney was something absolutely spectacular. They left port by nine in the evening. Thousands of lights illuminated the city ahead of them and as the ship pulled out, some smaller boats followed the vessel blasting their horns like they were saying 'see you soon'. The scenario behind them was startling with the Opera House on the left, the city center in the middle and the Harbor Bridge finishing the picture.

Sofia and Karima took lots of pictures. Nature might offer great images and moments, but manmade work also has its particular beauty and Sydney is a clear example of art, intelligence and style.

Before heading to her cabin, Sofia stopped by the office to get the memory stick she had left attached to the computer earlier. When she pulled it out she saw a small box on the desk with her name and the ship's address in Sydney. She received mail, which was already surprising, but more surprising, it was from Kieran. She opened the box quickly with her heart racing.

The card read: To remind you of me. Love. Kieran.

There was a smaller velvet box inside. She opened it and found a set with a bracelet and matching necklace in silver, both with crystal pendants. They were simple and beautiful. She put them on and looked at herself in the mirror. The first thought that crossed her mind was to go back to Ireland, especially after their last conversation. She missed Kieran so much it felt like there was a fire burning her slowly, but she had a commitment with the cruise line and she wanted to do things right so instead of packing her bags she called him.

He answered with a sleepy voice.

"Sorry I woke you up. I forgot about the time difference." She said apologetically.

"It's okay, I don't mind." He replied.

"Thanks for the gift. I love it."

"I knew you would." He answered complacently.

"You do know me. How did you get my address?"

"I squeezed Ailish. She didn't want to tell me at first but I told her I would get her boss to put her on the night shift for two months and she wrote it down for me." Kieran explained proudly.

"Pulling ranks on my friends?" She pretended to be upset.

"A guy does what he has to do."

"Thanks, it was very nice of you and I love it."

Sofia felt sad and guilty like she had been given her own poison, but measuring every side of it, it was good that Kieran understood that he needed to work hard for what he wanted in his personal life, not just in the OR. Men were selfish and many times found themselves in a secure relationship with someone who loved them and took it for granted. They fell into a routine and one day woke up and realized there was nothing left. As much as it was painful to be away from the love of her life, Sofia was sure she had done the right thing. He was finally seeing things the way they were and fighting back. There was still the issue of him sleeping with someone else biting at her, but at the right time she would deal with it too.

Just as she was about to change and go to bed she got paged. It was from the wardroom and when she called back she heard Aaron all cheerful on the other side of the line.

"Hey doc. Everyone is here except you. Come and join us." He said.

"Aaron, I'm tired." She replied.

"Oh, don't be boring. What are you, sixty? Get your pretty ass here or we'll get you." He threatened. The next voice she heard was Diego's who confirmed they would pick her up if she didn't show up and then Amy asked for her presence a bit more kindly and clearly less drunk.

"Damn pursers!" She muttered while changing into jeans and a sweat shirt instead of her pajamas and went to the wardroom where suddenly there was a big party going on.

"What's the occasion? Are we celebrating something?" She asked and Aaron gave her a glass of something that looked funny and tasted very alcoholic. Then she saw Carla and Denise dancing on one of the tables. "What's going on here?"

"Party. Party." Diego said, holding a set of darts in one hand and a glass of rum and coke in the other.

"We're just dancing it all out!" Denise added and she didn't look any more sober than anyone else.

Half an hour later Sofia still didn't know the reason for the party which later turned into karaoke and from there, at two o'clock in the morning Sofia, Diego, Denise, Carla, Amy and two new pursers whose names no one could remember were on the bridge with Amy's husband watching the stunning view outside.

"You know, at times like this I really love this job." Sofia said.

Aaron smiled understandingly. "See, aren't you happy that we got you out of that cold, lonely cabin?" He asked.

"Of course I am. I'm pretty sure I won't be that happy in five hours when my alarm clock starts to ring but for now it's all cool." She retorted.

Amy's husband proposed a game of naming the stars. It sounded a bit childish, but it was fun and they had nothing better to do.

"Aren't the stars named already?" Someone asked.

Rob rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Our Milky Way galaxy contains over one hundred billion stars. If we compared each star in our galaxy to a page in a book, at the rate of one page per second it would take over three thousand years to go through all the pages. To count those stars it would be necessary to turn about fifty pages per second during a normal human lifetime. And that's the Milky Way alone." He explained and everyone dazzled.

"That's incredible." Someone said.

He nodded affirmatively with his eyes fixed outside. "The universe is incredible, especially what we don't know yet."

# 17

In Melbourne, Ryan went out with Karima on a private tour with friends. Being forced to stay onboard, Sofia had more time to enjoy the things the ship had to offer.

Having an extended workout in the gym or getting her hair done in the Spa, spending some time by the pool reading a book while getting tanned or having a meal quietly pleasant and relaxing. She found herself telling Denise that she would actually enjoy going on a cruise as a passenger since there were loads of nice things onboard.

"You're so first contract!" Denise answered from the pool by the Spa where she had just turned on the wave machine and jumped in for a swim. "I couldn't be a passenger anytime soon. Maybe in a few years, when I forget what it feels like to be working onboard. For the moment I wouldn't mind a beach in Thailand."

"That would be good too." Sofia smirked as Denise splashed her with cold water from the pool.

"This is fun. I don't know why I don't come here more. Come and join me."

Sofia dropped her book and went into the pool. The water was chilly but as soon as her body got used to the temperature it felt wonderful. Being a port day there were very few passengers onboard and the pools were almost empty, making the experience a lot more enjoyable.

After the swim they relaxed in the very hot water of the Jacuzzi. A girl wearing beige shorts and a green shirt with a pattern that reminded of a kitchen curtain stopped by with a tray and asked them if they would like a drink. They ordered iced coffees and the girl disappeared into the bar upstairs.

"Life is beautiful, isn't it?" Sofia observed.

"Sometimes. When I don't have to put up with Leah and Kate screwing up my happiness life onboard can be pretty great."

"Unfortunately once in a while we have to put up with the black sheep. But at least people like them help us value the ones that deserve to be valued."

"Very true. When I finish my contract I'm going to write each one of them a card saying 'thank you very much for being a bitch, now I can really appreciate the people who are nice and kind'." Denise replied.

Sofia laughed. "Sure. If you don't plan to do another contract that would be a great way to say goodbye."

"I haven't decided yet. Better hold my pen until I make up my mind." Denise concluded.

The day was getting warmer and sunnier and it was a pity that it wouldn't be possible to stay by the pool the rest of the afternoon. Denise took one last swim to refresh and returned to the Jacuzzi.

"You know what I was thinking?"

Her friend nodded negatively. "Reading minds is not one of my many talents."

"Sex. I never had sex in a Jacuzzi." Denise observed.

"Please let me know if you do it so I won't be here until they drain the water and replace it." Sofia replied, making her laugh with her disgusted expression.

"I don't think I'll risk that. This place is too exposed."

"What was the craziest place where you ever had sex onboard?" Sofia asked.

Denise gave it a thought but the answer came quick. "You know that area above the disco, just by the chimney of the ship, where they have the logo? On my first contract I was seeing an engineer for a brief period of time and he took me there. It's a reserved area. Only engineers have the codes for the doors. We were in Alaska and it was a really cold night. But the moon was high and the view of the mountains covered in snow under the moonlight was stunning. We got a couple of deck blankets and had sex right there, above Stardust Disco. It was amazing, the contrast of the heath from our bodies with the cold from outside. Quite an experience, I must say."

Sofia put her glass by the wooden side and glanced at her friend. "You naughty little thing! And I was thinking you never broke any rules. You're full of surprises, aren't you?"

"Yes, no one can say I'm boring. But these days I've been avoiding things that might make me lose my job. You know, I'm getting older now, need to be responsible..." She joked.

They looked at the white clock on the wall. In half an hour it was time to go back to work. Reality called them back.

In the quiet of the back office, Denise read the comments and tried to make a mental statistic of how many complaints they were going to receive before the end of the cruise. It was impossible to tell. Passengers were already noticing the Eagles and the first comments were not good. That wasn't a surprise.

Her eyes ran slowly through the file. She pulled her hair back and took off her glasses for a moment, her eyes burning from the bright light.

"I don't want to be here." She muttered, her voice bleak. She dialed the crew office number. A familiar voice answered, but that wasn't the answer she was looking for.

"Hi Benjie. Denise here. Is Diego around?"

"Hi Denise. Sorry honey, he's out somewhere with Amy. They're sorting something out with Tania. You might find him in the back office on deck 5."

"Thanks." She hung up slightly disappointed. It was not like she had anything that important to tell him, but it would have been nice to hear his voice. She thought about the real world outside, disgruntled. In the real world people had cell phones with signal and could text or leave voicemails.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Nick, who's expression didn't include the traditional mocking grin and that was something to worry about.

"Tell me everything." Denise asked politely and in a low tone.

"There is a guy in the front demanding to speak to a supervisor. He's very upset."

"I think I know what this is about but brief me anyway."

Nick nodded. "His eight year old son just saw two man holding hands and cuddling on deck 7 and when the kid started asking questions the father went ballistic."

"Figures." She replied understandingly and prepared her mind for whatever was coming her way. At least she wasn't being caught by surprise. She had been told before the cruise started that it was going to be a difficult one.

Denise didn't manage to get a hold of her boyfriend for the rest of the day and when she went to the officer's mess for dinner he wasn't there. She looked briefly at the dark wooden door that lead into the wardroom and changed her mind about taking a peak. He would turn up eventually.

She returned to her cabin feeling very tired and planing on reading one of her magazines and relax, since Diego was probably going to take a good while to get out of the wardie, as he usually did. It could be a good thing to have a bit of silence, a nice quiet time with soft music and girly stuff.

She inserted the key card on her door and as soon as it opened, she looked in with surprise.

"That cow, that bitch, that poor excuse of a woman..." Ignoring her presence, Diego went on with a list of names that would have been embarrassing for the ears of most sensitive people.

"Diego, you kind of sound like... me. What's going on?" Denise interrupted his epiphany.

He glanced at her quickly. "Yeah, you whine a lot."

"That doesn't answer my question. Who are you talking about and what did she do to deserve all those adjectives?"

"Amy." He said coldly.

"Amy?!" Denise asked dumbfounded. "No way!"

"Not the crew office Amy, my ex-girlfriend Amy."

She stared at him, completely confused. "O-oh." She stuttered.

Before she asked anything else he decided to explain. Diego was siting in the corner of the bed looking straight ahead in the direction of the black TV screen.

"She's going to marry the engineer." He said sounding more sad than mad, which was a bad sign. "I saw it on her facebook page."

"And that is a problem for you because..."

"I didn't want it to work for them. I wanted them to have a fight and break up so that she could see she was wrong." He explained, too worried about himself to think about her feelings.

Denise stared in disbelief, unable to move, trying to digest his words. It took a minute or two of uncomfortable silence before she could wrap her mind around it.

"So, you are saying to your current girlfriend that you're that upset because your ex who, by the way, dumped you for another guy, is going to marry that guy. Did I get that right?"

"I'm sorry." He replied humbly.

"Hum-m. That's very... interesting." She muttered, trying to create a list of adjectives in her mind that could beat his.

"I shouldn't have told you that." He concluded a little too late.

"And what if you didn't tell me, would that change how you feel?"

"No, of course not."

"In that case I prefer to know the truth. I am a prone for masochism but I still like to know where the beat is coming from." She chided.

He started feeling angry. He didn't think she was being fair. "I would never beat you."

"Maybe not literaly."

"Sorry but I don't understand where this conversation is going."

"Understanding is not quite your strong point." And then she turned around and slammed the door shut behind her leaving him alone in the cabin to think about his issues.

She went to the amidships and banged furiously on Sofia's door, ignoring the curious stares of a cleaner in the corner.

"Hey. What's going on?" Her friend looked intently at her blushed face.

Denise stormed inside and dropped loudly on the chair by the porthole. "He's a jackass!"

"Who?" Sofia asked after closing the door to leave the cleaner out of the conversation.

"Diego."

"I already knew that. What's the drama?"

She told her the entire story and the doctor listened very patiently.

"Denise, you need to break up with him. Your relationship is toxic. It's poisoning you." She advised.

"Absolutely not." She answered immediately.

"Why?"

"Because I love him."

Sofia nodded desperately. "And it seems like he loves you back."

"No, he doesn't." Denise obviously didn't get the irony.

"Precisely."

"But I do love him."

Sofia reached for the phone and called a number that her friend could only see started with four. She asked for someone to come to her cabin and put the headset back.

"Who did you call?" Denise asked suspicious.

"You'll see."

Someone knocked on the door an instant later. Diego came in with an unhappy face.

The doctor's eyes scrolled between the two of them. "All right, you two talk, fight, make up or do whatever it takes but fix your personal mess now. I'm going to the crew bar and when I come back you will either be in your respective cabins or in Diego's cabin together. Just make sure you reach some sort of conclusion. The passengers already drained out my patience today." She ordered with a twinge of authority and left them alone.

At that point Denise was fighting the tears and trying to be strong.

"I guess that means you are still mad at me." He assumed.

"How could I not be after listening to you nearly confessing you still have feelings for your ex?"

"That's not what I was saying."

"Really? You must think I'm beyond stupid."

"I told you I was upset because she's marrying the guy, not that I still have feelings for her."

Denise felt her body stiffen on the chair. "And?"

He snorted. "I am upset because I always had this fantasy that something would go wrong with and then she would come back and admit she had made a bad choice. And I would very happily tell her I didn't want her back and that I deserve better. That would make it fair. I don't have feelings for her anymore. I just wanted a chance to make her feel what I felt: rejection. I know it's stupid and childish and I'm sorry that I told you."

She stared at him puzzled. "I don't understand." Her voice was broken.

You will soon, and I'm even more sorry for that. He thought without saying the words. "Denise, this was about my pride. Now could you please stop being upset at me and come back to our room. I don't like to see you like that. Let's forget about it, all right?"

She kept staring at him without a word and when nothing was thrown his way he started worrying. Maybe he had pushed too hard this time.

For his relief she wrote a note for Sofia thanking her and returned with him to his cabin in silence.

After he got into bed and turned out the lights Denise tuned around from looking at the wall and hugged him in the dark.

He sighed, feeling a heavy weight getting out of his chest and kissed her tenderly. She kissed him back without saying a word and closed her eyes but she didn't sleep for a long time. Denise hated herself for being too weak to let go of him. She wanted to be stronger and have Diego out of her life but she couldn't do it. She felt tears running down her face and soaking the pillow and she was glad he was asleep because even if she explained, he would never be able to understand the way she was feeling.

* * *

Ryan had spent the last few days celebrating his upcoming holiday and praying for a quiet cruise to finish his contract in beauty but his peace was gone in minutes with a passenger that came into the medical center with severe hemorrhages, consequence of a disease that she had already being treated for, but something went seriously wrong and they didn't have the resources to keep her alive for long. The senior doctor didn't have a choice but to give the captain the bad news: they needed a helicopter evacuation, one of the most dangerous maneuvers that could ever be done on a cruise ship.

A special team was assembled to prepare everything while the helicopter was on the way and the ship was immobilized in the middle of the ocean. The evacuation was done on deck 15 and with a ship full of passengers many curious people were trying to see as much as they could, causing trouble for the team and ultimately endangering themselves so the crew had to be very well organized to deal with that and prevent further problems.

Groups of crew blocked every door that lead to the area of the evacuation to make sure no one entered until it was over. The assessment party waited in position with their firefighting equipment ready in case it became necessary. The helicopter was a large moving vehicle and there was the wind and other elements to consider. During the evacuation there was a time frame where the helicopter was very close to the vessel. If something went wrong and there was a collision, an explosion followed by a fire was likely to come next. That was the reason why so many safety measures had to be taken.

The idea of helicopters flying over, landing on the ship and taking off in a few minutes only happened that easily in the movies.

The helicopter approached and as expected the passengers near ran over each other trying to find the best spot to observe. Their interest was only natural. The doors were carefully guarded and as curious as they were, the passengers understood how serious the situation was.

The medical team arrived with the sick passenger and as the helicopter lowered equipment and staff to proceed with the evacuation, it became extremely windy on deck and it was hard to keep a balance. The medical team secured the passenger and Ryan coordinated with the rescue team.

Shortly after, the helicopter was safely flying out and everyone on the ship, starting with the captain took a deep breath of relief. It was over.

"Do you think she will make it?" The captain asked Ryan and Sofia.

"We hope so. It shouldn't take them more than two hours to get her to a hospital. With the right assistance and a bit of luck, maybe. It's a serious one though. It could go one way or the other. We did everything we could here." Ryan clarified.

"It is only the second time in my career that we had to do something like this and I've been at sea most of my life." The captain informed them.

"First time for me." Ryan added. "Days like this I'm glad for the drills and the trainings and all the things we normally complain about."

Sofia nodded. "That was the scariest thing I've witnessed since I came onboard."

"The only thing scarier than this is a real emergency. And I will do my best to make sure you will never have to go through one." The captain said with a warm smile. He thanked the medical team and everyone else involved for their good work and returned to the bridge.

Life went back to normal on deck and the medical team took the equipment back to the medical center.

"What a way to start the day!" Keira observed.

"What a way to finish a contract!" Ryan added.

"I hate to remind you of it, but you still have a few days onboard: more than enough time for more adventures."

"I hope not, for the sake of the passengers. I get paid for this, but they paid for a holiday and getting out of here in a helicopter or an ambulance to be taken to a hospital is not exactly a good way to remember your vacation."

Sofia spent the rest of the morning attending crew. The rest of the morning went really fast and before they noticed, it was lunch time.

Denise picked up her friend from the medical center and they went together to the officer's mess.

"That was a hell of a morning we had." The front desk supervisor observed.

"Yes, it was. Not something I would like to repeat. On land, no worries, but on a ship this is a very dangerous thing and thank goodness nothing went wrong."

Denise nodded in agreement. "I had several drills preparing for something like this, but it was the first time I've seen it happening for real. I was a bit afraid, but it was exciting."

The two friends entered the officer's mess and sat together. Sofia helped herself to a bread roll and dipped it in olive oil and vinegar on a small plate while they waited for the main course. She looked at her friend with attention while Denise looked aloof. Her mind was somewhere else.

"How are you anyway? You seem to be in a foul mood."

"I'm fine." Denise answered wryly.

"Honey, it's me you're talking to. You are so far away from fine you're not even in the same area code!" Sofia observed and the conversation ended there because the nurses arrived.

Denise excused herself as soon as lunch was over and moved on to her so wanted nap, thinking about ways to deal with the passengers. The complaints about the Eagles were more than fifty and the file that the front desk kept on the general drive was reaching proportions like she had never seen in all her time at sea.

Just like she predicted, the other passengers were not happy at all. Although the gay group had shore side tours and onboard activities separated from the remaining passengers, it was impossible not to see them walking around the ship hand in hand or hugging here and there, sometimes even kissing.

As open minded as people could be, most didn't like to have that sort of behavior thrown on their faces.

The comments were really bad, especially from people traveling with their families who didn't know how to explain it to their kids. Most parents didn't like their children witnessing that sort of behavior.

In her office, Sofia read through the file and emphasized with the passengers. They were upset that the company didn't advise them of the gay group. After reading the last comment from a passenger who told the reception how disgusting it was to see these hairy bearded men hugging in the pool in front of his ten year old daughter, she called Denise.

"Hey you. I was just reading the complaints. It seems like you guys are having an interesting time thanks to the Eagles. Or should I say the beards?" Sofia joked and she heard Denise chuckle on the other side of the line.

"We are being hammered with complains from unhappy passengers and I must say if I were a passenger I would be complaining too. This time I have to be on their side."

"Yes, I guess you're right. There are limits." Sofia agreed.

"The passengers are not complaining about the fact that these people are gay, but they don't want to have the Eagles on their faces and they are right. On top of that some areas of the ship have been closed to hold their private parties and other passengers don't have access. That's annoying them even more." Denise explained.

"That's crazy. You guys must be having a nightmare."

"We were but now we are delegating. In the beginning of the cruise we used to listen to everything and try to calm them down and apologize for something that is absolutely not our fault. But since the number of complaints is now over fifty and growing the hotel director got fed up with it and the people with the big stripes decided that we are going to register every complain and forward it to the company so that they can deal with the problem they created. At the moment if the passengers are very angry and demanding we call Kate to talk to them, not that it helps, but that's it."

"Good point. Why would you have to put up with the consequences of their decisions?"

"Because we always do. They only care about selling cruises and get the ships full to make revenue. They always expect us to take care of what happens onboard. This time the hotel director had the good sense to see this is too much and he's not taking it any longer." Denise clarified.

"Changing subject, are you going to that disco tonight?"

"Maybe, I don't know yet. What's the theme of this one?"

"There was a poster saying it's the back to school party."

Denise laughed and promised to make an effort and show up.

# 18

The first thing Sofia noticed as soon as she entered to the medical center was the empty space by the wall at the entrance. The second were the gigantic eye bags under Keira's eyes.

"Good morning. Long night?" Sofia asked suspiciously.

"Yeah. Very long night." She confirmed.

"Fun?"

"That too."

"Do you know where the wheelchair that we normally keep over there is?" The doctor asked and pointed the location.

Keira took a second to think and then she seemed to remember. "That's probably still in Eli's room."

"Who is Eli and why is the wheelchair in her room?"

The nurse looked up and started laughing. "Eli is one of the cruise staff girls and Carla and I had to take her back last night. She was so drunk she couldn't walk so we took the wheelchair." She explained.

Sofia scowled at her. "How did she get drunk to the point that you had to take her on a wheelchair? Two months ago a crew member died on this ship because he drank too much. Don't this people learn?" She observed, shocked at how irresponsible they were.

Keira nodded. "I know, but some people are like that. They don't think it can happen to them."

Sofia couldn't be bothered to worry about drunken crew members anymore so she headed to her office and went through her emails. It looked like Ian had a busy night like normally happened after a crew disco with lots of noise complaints and a fight that woke up a good number of people in the middle of the night. The two crew members involved were intoxicated and the captain and the hotel director would have to make a decision on whether to keep them onboard or fire them.

Denise was her first patient for the day.

"Are you sick?" Sofia asked.

"I hope not. My sleeping problems are getting worse. I'm just wondering if you could get me some sleeping pills to help at least for the worst nights."

"Do you normally have sleeping problems or is this a particular hard time?"

"Yes, I do. But now it's getting harder and it looks like the more tired I get the more difficult it is to sleep." Denise replied.

Sofia looked at her seriously. "Denise, sleeping pills are addictive and I really don't like to prescribe them. I recommend you buy some valerian ones in a natural shop and see if they help. Those are made of herbs and they won't create you any problems. If they don't work then we'll think about the stronger stuff. Meanwhile, you need to reduce your stress. That's probably what's causing you not to sleep. And try to spend more time doing things you enjoy."

"I'll keep that in mind." She answered with sarcasm.

Denise would have been happier with a box of sleeping pills that could knock her out but she knew Sofia was right and the logical thing to do was to take it easy.

Back in her office she realized sleeping was the least of her problems. Kate was in a bad mood, half the receptionists were late to work and Leah had a horrible cold that made Denise feel a bit sorry for her, but only a bit. Leah didn't look like she was in shape to work but with Kate in that mood it was better to have her around. Between the two of them Leah was the smallest evil.

The busy afternoon ended with ten passengers missing at sailing time and many announcements to try to find if they were onboard. Three of them called the front desk, but after half an hour with the other seven missing, the captain started getting impatient. A group of five people approached the gangway where Tania and her assistant, Rebecca, waited and they apologized profusely for the delay but they had rented a car and took a wrong turn somewhere which is why they were delayed. No one on the bridge cared why they were late but it was good that they were onboard. Without further news the captain ordered the ship to sail away, leaving a couple behind.

Not long after that, Tania and Denise were in the back office working on some details for embarkation in Auckland when they received an email from the port agent in Christchurch saying that the missing couple turned up at the pier. Apparently they hadn't noticed the ship's sailing time.

"Nearly three thousand other passengers were able to read the big sign by the gangway with the departure time. Too bad two of them didn't." Tania said with sarcasm.

"Now they can meet us in Tauranga the day after tomorrow. I'm sure there are nice hotels there." Denise pointed out.

"I wouldn't mind getting stuck in Tauranga for a few days." Tania noted.

Rebecca looked exhausted and the pile of papers on her desk almost made it impossible to see her face. Tania didn't look much better and she explained to Denise that they were implementing a new system for disembarkation and that added a lot to their usual work load. They had been working extra hours every day, especially Rebecca. Denise offered to help, while Kate pretended not to listen that one of her team members had a lot more to do than she could handle and wasn't getting enough rest.

Tania and Rebecca thanked Denise but it was a 'one man job' that would have to be done by Rebecca mostly. Denise suggested that maybe she could assign someone from the reception to help them with other tasks. During port days they had enough free time to do that.

Kate woke up from her dream world and made it very clear that if extra help was necessary SHE would arrange it. Tania and Denise glanced at each other thinking that Kate must have been missing something very important in her life to have that kind of attitude and Rebecca just hid shyly behind her papers and pretended not to listen. She was familiar with Kate's ways and didn't expect kindness, understanding or anything of that nature from her.

Denise returned to her office infuriated. At least Anne used to be fun and she helped the team. It used to be nice to get to the office and have a coffee and a chat. With Kate there was no way such thing could happen. The woman acted like the world was against her. She was rude, unhelpful and a poor supervisor. Denise felt sorry that Tania and Rebecca had to work so close to such a person.

Just above, on deck 6, Leah kept coughing and looking very pale. Denise wanted to ignore her, but her conscience spoke louder and she ended up asking her supervisor if she needed anything. Leah looked at her in surprise and asked for a tea.

"Did you go to the doctor?" Denise asked, giving her a hot mug that the waiter on deck 5 had prepared with an infusion for her. "You should take some medication and go to sleep."

Leah nodded. "I'm going now, but this wasn't so bad this morning. Will you be okay if I leave earlier and go to bed?"

Denise could hardly believe her ears. Leah asked if she was going to be okay. Leah being nice... There had to be something seriously wrong with her. Denise whished that it could be always like that but she was sure it wouldn't last long.

"I'll be fine. You take care of that cold."

"Thanks. Have a good night Denise."

"Y-you t-too." She stuttered, mesmerized at her supervisor's sudden friendliness.

Without Leah, Denise stayed in the office until later and looked after everything until the Assistant Night Manager arrived. Then, it was time for the gym and a steam room session with Sofia.

There are very few people in the gym at dinner time and it was nice to have a good workout in a peaceful environment. The Spa wasn't busy either and the receptionist looked bored.

Sofia looked around and found that almost everybody there was a crew member, except two young ladies running side by side on the left side corner. The fitness guys were still there and both Sofia and Denise appreciated better why Carla had been missing from her intense social life since she had hooked up with one of them. The tall, muscled young man was the kind that was built to mess up with women's nervous system.

"No wonder I haven't seen Carla this cruise." Denise murmured with a grin, trying to look natural so the guy wouldn't realize they were talking about him.

"I work with Carla and I haven't seen her either." Sofia said, and then she stopped and looked at the set of spinning bicycles stored together by the wall.

"What?" Denise asked, wondering what she had in mind.

"I used to love spinning. Maybe we could ask Carla's guy if there is a way to put on classes for the crew, two or three times a week would be great."

"Yes, that would be cool. They used to do it in some of the ships I worked before."

Sofia approached the fitness instructor, Mario, and exposed the idea. He answered with a welcoming smile and said that he would do the classes as long has the Spa manager and the hotel director approved them. Sofia and Denise promised to take care of the details and then the conversation drifted to the usual: where are you from? How long have you been on ships? How do you find it here?

While they were still talking, a naked lady in her fifties or so came running from the changing rooms and the Spa receptionist was chasing after her with a bath robe but the lady disappeared through the door that lead to the massage rooms.

Instinctively, the three of them ran after the woman and managed to get her into the robe despite her protests. Sofia paged Mary for help and they took the woman to the medical center where she kept screaming insults until she was sedated.

They found the cruise card with her room number in the locker by the Spa and since her roommate was not in the cabin, Denise called the front desk and asked for an announcement to be made to locate her.

A few minutes later one of the receptionists arrived in the medical center with the patient's sister. They found out after a chat that the lady running naked on the Spa was bipolar and since she was feeling fine she had decided to stop taking her medication.

Ryan asked the sister how she had allowed that to happen and she replied that if her sister was feeling fine, then there was no need for the pills. Ryan rolled his eyes heavenwards and wondered how people like that survived on a daily basis.

The senior doctor and Sofia agreed that if the woman woke up the next day thinking she was superman she could as well jump out of a balcony. They settled on getting her disembarked under the protests of her sister, who seemed to be as responsible as a child.

"There it goes our steam room session." Denise told Sofia when they went to the buffet for food because they didn't make it to the officer's mess on time.

"Yes, another crazy day onboard. And I thought this job would be boring." Sofia sighed.

Denise laughed. "Some days can be very repetitive but once in a while we get an extra dose of insanity to keep things interesting."

"You know what I just realized?" Sofia continued. "I'm really tired. I'm not sure why but this job is getting me as exhausted as I used to be in the hospital. There's always something going on. It's insane."

"Yes, that's true. I was exhausted about two months ago. At this stage I'm not sure what I am anymore. Maybe a zombie..." Denise confessed. "The fact that I rarely sleep well doesn't help."

"You know what, screw the diet. Since we're in uniforms lets go to Stardust and get some cocktails." Sofia suggested and Denise followed. Since she wasn't going to get sleeping pills, alcohol was a good alternative. It worked for everyone else onboard.

Stardust was nearly empty. There were just over twenty passengers in the disco and only four of them were dancing. There were several bar stewards wandering around with their black trays and as soon as the girls sat down one of them immediately approached the table. They ordered raspberry martinis, one of Denise's favorites. Sofia was bemused that being such a nice place, the disco had so few customers.

"Many people are tired from the ports and they go to bed early, plus we have a lot of old people onboard. Stardust is only full when we travel with young people and that rarely ever happens." Denise justified.

"What about the Eagles?"

"They had a private function somewhere else, but I wouldn't be surprised if they showed up here later on."

A Mexican steward brought the drinks and Sofia put everything in her account. Denise argued against it and they made a deal that she would pay for the next round. They looked at the DJ's booth and a blondish young man smiled and waved at them shaking his head to the beat of the drums.

"It must be boring for him to be playing music for so few people and no one is even dancing. How depressing."

Denise stared at her. "Depressing is me putting up with all kinds of crap while that guy makes more money than me working three hours a night."

"He doesn't do anything else?"

"He does loads of things. Goes out every port, sunbathes, sleeps with whoever he can... It's just work that doesn't load him much. He has passenger status, gets his own cabin, works nearly nothing and enjoys the same benefits as the passengers. DJ is probably the best job onboard. It's even better than being a dancer. It lasts longer too."

"Nice. He's cute." Sofia noted his boyish face and the blond spiky hair that probably took a good half a can of spray to fix like that.

"Yes. That's Brian. I've been with him in at least three ships. He has a really interesting strategy. Every time he wants to get a crew member into his bed he tells her that he never sleeps with crew but he would like to open an exception because she's special. But of course this is a small world and I know a bunch of crew members who slept with him. But if you ever talk about it you'll see how he tells you that he only slept with one crew member before and it was a long time ago."

Sofia chuckled. "And that works?"

"Depends. Sometimes it does. Some girls find it flattering, and then others know he's lying but they go with it just to find out if he's anything good."

"Is he?"

"I don't know. I've heard different reports but I'm really not interested in finding out. There are many things that make me unhappy but my sex life is not one of them. I can say my boyfriend is great in that area."

"It's great to hear that he's that good at something." Sofia mumbled and regretted saying that a second later.

Denise gave her a disapproval glance.

"Sorry." Sofia said. "You know Diego is not exactly a role model as a boyfriend."

"I know. I notice that every day. But there is something else he's good at: his job. That one seems to have been born on duty." Denise pointed out, trying to turn into a joke the fact that her boyfriend was hardly ever present in her life.

"So did Kieran. But hopefully he'll get fixed soon. He seems to be on the right track to become a proper human being rather than a workaholic who doesn't know how to live outside the OR. I don't mind hard working guys, but I'm not looking to hire anyone. I'm looking for a boyfriend. His professional skills are useless to me if he proves to be an incompetent partner."

"It's good that your strategy is working. You'll see, the two of you will end up married." Denise said hopeful.

"When we get the next round, lets drink to that." She replied with a big happy smile and called the waiter.

A group of the Eagles came in at a point when Sofia and Denise were already tipsy. They were indeed big, hairy men. At the first impression they didn't even look gay. There were about fifteen of them and they took over a corner by the big windows. Some of them sat on each other's laps and even being a bit affected by alcohol both Denise and Sofia found it uncomfortable.

"If they start kissing, can you please swap places with me? It's not of my business what these people do but two men kissing just looks horrible to me." Denise observed with a disgruntled expression.

"If they start kissing, we're out of here. I can't focus on my cocktail if I see something like that."

For a while, all the Eagles did was talk and order drinks and the two friends almost forgot about them. It was just after midnight that they took things further. Sofia and Denise called it a night.

"I've already seen an old lady naked tonight. There is no need to see men making out as well. There's been some strange stuff happening on this ship lately." Sofia observed when they took the elevator to deck 4.

Very unusually, Denise arrived in her cabin after Diego. He was in bed watching a movie.

"Hello stranger. Where have you been?" He asked casually, his eyes on the TV screen.

"In Stardust with Sofia. And then the Eagles showed up and they started kissing and we left."

"Have you been drinking?" He asked with a smirk.

"A little." Denise sat on the bed next to him.

She tried to get rid of the uniform by taking off her shirt but it didn't work and Diego started laughing at her ordeal. "I think you had more than a little. Do you need help?" He asked, finding her clumsiness charming and funny.

"No. I'm not drunk, I can do this." She insisted, struggling with the buttons that eventually fell all over the floor but she was too dizzy to pick them up. The skirt was another drama and Diego watched amused how his girlfriend looked like a kid desperately trying to remove her clothes.

He felt sorry for her and helped her to take off the rest. He held her while pulling out her shirt and next took off her stockings and then his hands moved up to the bra.

"I don't think I need to take that off." She murmured.

"I think you should." He started kissing her shoulders and then she felt his lips moving down.

"Are you still helping me undress?"

"Yes, I'm very thorough." Diego replied rolling his tongue through her breasts.

That night Denise didn't have trouble sleeping.

* * *

The fact that Ryan was leaving the next day was making Sofia very gloomy. Keira was also going to disembark the cruise after and the doctor was suffering from one of the hardest aspects of working on a cruise ship: saying goodbye to people that had been close friends and the closest to a family a crew member could have.

Onboard it was a matter of time until someone went home. Sooner or later it was time to say goodbye and that was heart breaking. For the ones continuing their onboard careers there was a chance to meet on another ship or maybe on a holiday somewhere, but frequently the end of a contract meant never seeing them again.

During the ten days of the cruise Sofia had become good friends with Karima and they promised to visit each other when possible. Sofia hoped to be able to make it happen but she knew it could be a long time before they would be able to spend another few days of fun together.

In port, Ryan and Karima left early morning to visit some places of intense volcanic activity and Sofia paged David at lunch time claiming a promise made a while before: a visit to the Engine Room.

"Hi. How are you?" Sofia asked when they meet on deck 4 aft.

"Hanging on. Busy enough to keep distracted. And you?"

"Taking it easy." She smirked.

"That's the way to go. Ready for some action?" He asked opening a metal door behind him.

"Bring it on!"

David showed her the engine control room first. It was on deck 4 and like the bridge, there were computers everywhere. A few engineers did whatever engineers do but unlike the bridge, these ones didn't benefit from a good view. All they saw were metal walls and computer screens. A few irritating alarms went off here and there. No one seemed worried about them so Sofia assumed it was normal.

They crossed the M1 to the starboard side and David punched a code into the pad by the door that opened down to where everything happened. As soon as Sofia noticed the stairs she was glad for wearing comfortable clothing. The uniform would have been really inappropriate in that place. As they went down what seemed the equivalent to two decks she saw the fours gigantic engines, each bigger than a truck. David gave her ear plugs because down there, there was a lot of noise. Some guys in their dark boiler suits stopped and looked at the doctor with curiosity but they soon moved on with their work.

Sofia followed David who shouted some brief explanations. She didn't understand most because of the noise, but her eyes inspected her surroundings carefully. He directed her through the generators, the ship's sewage system and the desalinators and told her how the water system treatment draws seawater by reverse osmosis. It extracts almost the totality of the salt and that is the water that is supplied to the galleys, laundry and every bathroom onboard. He tried to explain that the filtration process works by using pressure to force a solution through a membrane, retaining the solute on one side and allowing the pure solvent to pass to the other side but wasn't sure of how much she was able to hear clearly. She had a happy face so he concluded that she was having a good time.

The engine area took the entire bottom of the ship and although it was probably the most interesting space onboard, it also felt very claustrophobic and Sofia found it amazing that some people worked there permanently. Way below the water level there was never good light. That couldn't be healthy. At least the mechanics ashore could still open the door of their garages. On ships that was not an option.

David stopped by a big metallic dark green box that Sofia didn't remember what was for.

"Are you ready for a real challenge doc?" He asked loudly.

"Sure. What do you have for me?"

He pointed the vertical steps behind him. She looked up but the metal structure didn't allow a view of the ending.

"This steps take us all the way to deck 18, by the chimney. If we make it there, we'll be right behind the company's logo in the amidships. I can promise you the view is worth the effort."

"How many steps in total?"

"You don't want to know!" He said, starting the climb before she changed her mind.

Sofia followed him carefully and slowly they went up, step by step. She avoided thinking about what it meant to walk up the equivalent to sixteen floors. At one point, when she was already tired and it looked like there was still a long way to go, they stopped on a platform and looked down. David made a sign for her to stop.

"Where are we?"

David pointed at the sign on the wall. "Deck 8, amidships."

"Anything interesting here?"

"Not really. Just a small break to catch my breath. I'm not that young anymore."

She chuckled.

He went upstairs again and Sofia followed. The higher they were, the more her legs ached. Just like climbing a wall, the last bit was the hardest and when they finally arrived in the final platform and he opened the door to the outside, Sofia felt an urge to go sit on the floor. Instead, she moved next to him and looked outside from the back of the logo.

"On my God, this is amazing!" She admitted, admiring the view. It's like someone made a huge spread that extends as far as human eyes can see.

"Yes, this is great and very exclusive. We are the only ones who ever come here. The bridge boys have their big windows. This is our pay-back." He joked.

"Do you have to climb all those stairs every time you come here?"

He giggled. "Of course not. There's a service elevator."

She glared at him. "What?! There's an elevator and you made me climb all those horrible metal steps? Do you know how much my legs hurt right now?"

"Your legs can't hurt more than mine. I'm at least twenty years older than you. Come on doc, taking the stairs was a lot more fun, wasn't it?"

As much as she pretended to be mad she knew that doing the long walk up the stairs was cool and she was happy she had done something so few people would ever have a chance to do. And the view from there was breathtaking. It was like being on the top of the world, in a very quiet place, the sounds coming from the outside fading away into a murmur that almost sounded like music.

"I was wondering," she asked, "what happens to the food, the garbage and all other leftovers from the ship?"

"Well, the food goes into a machine that removes all the water and turns the solids into very tiny pieces that we then feed the fish with."

"Really?"

"Yes, that's how nice we are. We give food to the fish. But the pieces are really small and there is nothing toxic that can be dangerous for the ocean." He confirmed.

"What about the other stuff?"

"There are a few big machines that you've just seen that treat the waters. Everything is separated by type and all waters that don't represent any danger are returned to the sea. Anything that can't be returned to nature because it's toxic is stored in proper containers and taken ashore. The same goes for solid garbage. Everything that goes into the bins, from tissue paper to cans and bottles, is separated in the garbage room and put in big containers by type of material. In particular ports there are facilities where the containers are sent out for recycling."

Sofia looked at him with amazement. "Wow. We do everything so right."

"Well, not everything. We are still burning fuel, loads of fuel. That pollutes a lot."

"And so there is a stain in the white fabric." Sofia concluded.

"There always is..."

They jumped over another big metal structure and sat on the top of the Stardust disco enjoying the landscape. Sofia suddenly remembered what Denise had told her about her little adventure in Alaska. It was exactly in that place where she was sitting. Sofia giggled and stared at the wide white platform.

"What's so funny?" David asked still tired from the vertical climb and feeling older than he liked to admit.

"I have a friend who told me she had sex here once. Well, not exactly here, on another ship like this one."

"Bloody engineers! We give them access to these areas to work and the buggers use their privileges to pick up girls." He retorted and she laughed out loud.

"I bet you get lots of requests from passengers asking to visit the engine."

He nodded. "Some. The deckies get more than us. Many people think the bridge is the most interesting place to see on a ship. I'm sure it's because of the big windows. I get a few but we don't do tours of the engine area. It's a dangerous place and we're not paid to be tour guides."

"I thought it was for security reasons." She said.

"That too. Imagine a bunch of people down there with their cameras. But even if we didn't have to worry about security, I still wouldn't do it. It's a working area, there are many hazards and my guys already have too much work. We wouldn't find the time to look after passengers as well. One of them breaks a leg tripping on something and next thing they sue the company."

"That's true. These days people do everything for money." Sofia agreed. "Do you ever open exceptions?"

A soft breeze came from the sea and brushed their hair. It felt great.

"Very rarely. I did a tour with a passenger that worked for the United States Coast Guard just two weeks ago, but he was an engineer too. When people who work in the field send a request we do our best to accommodate them. But I don't open exceptions for curious tourists. Nothing personal, but it's not something we can handle. If they want to be entertained they have to talk to the cruise director."

Sofia laughed at the way he said that. As much as she could understand the passengers for wanting to see the hidden areas of the ship, it would drive the technical department insane to have passengers wandering around their working areas.

# 19

Denise was very tired. The day before turnaround was always a killer and she left the office at nearly eight thirty, feeling so exhausted her body barely responded to basic commands like walking. She paged Diego who was in the usual place and asked him to bring her some food on the way back because all she could manage was a shower and the remote control.

Diego showed up only twenty minutes later with a plate of different things he knew she would like.

"Thank you so much for that. I swear I would starve today rather than having to go for dinner all the way to the back of the ship." She said when he uncovered the plate.

"You are not going to believe this." Diego claimed very enthusiastically trying to make her guess what he's talking about.

"What? Did NASA invite you to run their space program?" She grimaced.

"No silly. We have a whale stuck in the bow." He answered with a mocking grin.

Denise nearly choked on a piece of bread and cheese. "What? When did that happen?"

"Just a couple of hours ago. The deckies spotted it. It's a small whale, but we can't take it out right now."

"Wow. So we have to sail with it until Auckland?"

"If it doesn't go lose during the time we're sailing, we're entering Auckland port with a dead whale as a souvenir."

"Well, the passengers are going to love that. Another story to tell."

Denise turned off the lights and opened the curtains to let the soft light of the full moon illuminate the room. She put all the pillows together behind her back and relaxed in bed.

"Are we having a movie night?" Diego inquired.

"Why not? I can't move and a film doesn't require any effort."

"Pause that. I'll be right back." He said, grabbed his keys from the desk and ducked through the door.

Denise chilled out, enjoying the silence and wondering where he was going. Her question was answered five minutes later and it smelled great. Diego dropped two paper bags on her lap.

"Popcorn?"

"If we're having a movie night, we should to do it properly." He replied and put one in her mouth carefully.

"Oh, you're such a star sometimes." She replied happily.

He gave her a wink and pressed the play button. "Don't tell anyone. I don't want people to get used to it."

"Did you know gluttony is a capital sin?"

Diego stuffed his mouth with popcorn. "It's a good thing I never planned to go to heaven then." He grinned.

Denise enjoyed having times like that, with no worries, no phones ringing, no stress. She felt normal when she could get to the end of a day and not bring work with her. Many times she left the office and work was all over her mind for hours after, until she went to sleep and sometimes she even dreamed about it. She knew she shouldn't do that. How many times had people with many years of experience told her that it was unhealthy to take work too seriously? She knew it was better to have a realistic and balanced view but it was easier said than done. If she could have the right attitude she could be much happier and be less affected by every little thing that happened in her life. She even believed that her relationship with Diego and her friends would be better if she could find a way to change her view of life onboard, but she had been trying and it wasn't working. Now and then she was able to relax, but often the idea that she had to change her attitude for her own benefit stressed her more than reality itself. She felt confused and didn't know what to do. She brushed all her thoughts way and tried to enjoy the movie and Diego's company. She didn't know how long she would be able to do that for. Onboard everything is temporary.

Later that night, after the movie was over and Diego was sound asleep, Denise thought of Switzerland. She missed the mountains, she missed waking up on a Sunday and having brunch with her family. She missed her mother who now lived by herself in that big house. Her mother had never complained but Denise sometimes felt bad about leaving her on her own like that. She had wanted adventure and to see the world and her mother had moved on with her life but Denise didn't even know for sure what was happening at home or in the lives of her other relatives and friends. She missed the personal bonds and the family life that she couldn't have onboard.

The Ocean Pearl arrived in Auckland with the whale still trapped on the bow and there was no other choice but to get it removed there. A team was assembled for the task and the process was followed closely by the curious eyes of many people including the local press.

"I guess we're going to be on the newspapers." Diego told Denise on the phone early morning.

"I would rather be in the paper for a less bizarre reason, but who cares?" She replied setting her mind to another hectic day at work.

Only by sheer curiosity, she paid a visit to the hotel secretary just before twelve and asked if she had a chance to read the comments from the cruise before.

Sylvia confirmed that the results were not great. The complaints about the gay group were already over two hundred and the scores were down by a big difference due to the dissatisfaction of the passengers who didn't like not being informed that they were going to share their vacation with the Eagles.

The hotel director came by to check the latest results and left furious. The entire hotel department's scores were low because of something that was to blame on head office and that made him very angry.

"I guess once again we take the beat for other people's stupid ideas." Denise noted.

"Who else? They do whatever it takes to generate revenue. When it goes wrong we take the blame. The reception puts up with complaints all cruise long and now the scores are ten percent lower than usual because the passengers hold us responsible for not solving a problem that never had a solution." Sylvia observed calmly with her eyes on the computer screen.

"What did they want us to do? Throw the Eagles overboard? We're not allowed to throw anything overboard. It's an environmental crime." Denise joked.

"You know what? The hell with it! The big bosses from head office come here once in a while and I've never seen any of them stopping for a minute to ask the crew what they think or how they feel like. We are numbers on a list, tools. So let's just do our jobs and enjoy the few hours we don't have to spend working. These passengers are on the way home and we have another three thousand embarking today. It's a whole new cruise. Next time the scores will be better." The hotel secretary said confidently.

Denise smiled with satisfaction. She knew Sylvia was right. The best way to deal with the bad results of one cruise was to move on to the next.

Bad things didn't last forever and the day went well with embarkation very organized and many smiling faces coming onboard with their dreams of the perfect holiday. Denise had a look at the passengers coming onboard and made a mental promise to do everything she could to help them have a great time.

The front desk supervisor even found some time to go ashore with Allison, have lunch in a nice restaurant and walk the streets of Auckland and the Harbor before heading back. That was a privilege she rarely had in her job.

A chatty waiter in a restaurant gave them some interesting lights about the city. Auckland was built in the slope of a long extinct volcano. There were forty eight of them in the countryside around the city. The waiter added that Auckland is called Tamari Makau Ray, which meant city of the 100 lovers by the Maori people because so many people wanted to live in the fertile and protected location. Today, one third of all the people in New Zealand live in the area.

If anyone asked an Auckland townie, they would all affirm that Auckland was the capital of New Zealand and ignore any mention of the official capital, Wellington.

"Windy Wellington." Denise muttered.

"What?" Allison didn't get it.

"The port of Wellington. It's extremely windy. Frequently too dangerous to dock. Ships have a hard time there."

"Is that why it's not on our itinerary?"

"I don't really know. Could be, or maybe it's just because someone thought other places would be more interesting. I never asked." Denise replied.

The girls thanked the friendly guy for the information and left him a tip that he much appreciated.

Like many other places in New Zealand, in the surroundings of Auckland there were sandy bays and national parks with hot springs and sputtering geysers.

Allison and Denise looked at the Sky Tower high in the city center and then at their watches. They didn't have time left to go up there. Maybe next time.

Back to the port, they paid a bit more attention to the surroundings and understood why Auckland was called "City of Sails". There were sail boats everywhere. Many racing yachts that won the America's Cup Regatta called Auckland their home port.

"I went on a regatta in one of those once, in St. Maarten." Denise said while they took some photos.

"Nice. How was it?"

"Exiting and scary. The boats go really, really fast and they tilt so much many times it feels like you'll be thrown in the water any second. It doesn't matter where you are on the boat, the water gets everywhere. So if you ever do something like that make sure the water is warm because you will get wet no matter what." She suggested.

"I'll remember that next time I'm in the Caribbean then!"

As they made their way through the terminal building, they noticed the havoc. Big groups of passengers entering the ship just like the plagues from the Old Testament.

"Here we go again..." Denise smiled, knowing that cruise had everything to be better than then previous one and she was hopeful about the next ten days.

* * *

Albert arrived at eleven and Sofia was paged to receive him. Although he knew the ship well it was always nice to have someone from the department to welcome him onboard.

When Sofia saw him by Diego's desk, she couldn't help a smirk. He was just about as tall as her, skinny with brown hair slightly long. He was wearing faded jeans and a Hard Rock Café t-shirt from L.A. that had been washed a few too many times. The sun glasses gave it the final touch and made him look like a careless tourist.

Diego introduced them and Albert kissed her hand overdramatically.

"Nice to know I'll be working with a pretty face." He said, and Sofia concluded only by his expression that her new boss was going to be one of those characters.

"Don't look at me like that gorgeous. I don't date people from my department. It's one of my rules... actually it's my only rule. You're out of my market." He stated with a wayward smile.

Sofia chuckled. "Oh, you just broke my heart. How am I going to survive the rest of my contract?"

"No worries, we'll think of something. Now, would you please join me for lunch? I'm starving."

"Only as respectful co-workers, right?"

"Of course. What else could I possibly be thinking?" He replied and left the crew office with his bag in one hand and the laptop case in the other, while Sofia walked out with him, giggling.

Amy and Diego looked at each other and burst in laughter.

"Another crazy one. Just perfect for cruise ships." Diego observed and started adding the passport information to the computer.

"I've known Albert for a while. He's always joking, always messing up with the girls, but I've also seen him working and I can tell you one think, when that one puts on the doctor mood nothing gets on the way. And you'll never see him show off his stripes or pulling ranks on anyone. When I was night manager I found him one night on deck 3 in a corridor party with the bar staff and the waiters." Amy said.

Diego smiled. "That's good to know. There's a lot of arrogance on this ship. We don't need more. I'm happy that he is a good human being"

"Yes, and that's why I don't want changes in this office until I leave. At least here we don't have bitching and backstabbing." Amy concluded.

"Just for that, I'm going to buy you coffee today. Amy, you're the best!" Diego declared.

"I know." She replied with a soft twinge of smugness in her voice.

Sofia quickly concluded that Ryan was right about Albert. It was very easy to like him. He made jokes but knew the limits. He was friendly and polite and as soon as he stepped in the medical center he also became the professional a senior doctor was expected to be. He was on top of his game.

Albert immediately made friends with Carla. They talked for a good while and Sofia and Mary heard laughs all along.

"Is he always like this?" Sofia asked Mary, since she knew him better.

"Albert? Oh yes. When I first met him I thought the man had two cans of Red Bull first thing in the morning. When I'm still half asleep he comes in cheerful like a spring flower. It used to annoy the hell out of me! That man is up by six and he's in the gym running five minutes later. His best friends will be the fitness instructors. He's a health freak. The best moments I've had with Albert were seeing him tell off fat passengers. He doesn't care about politeness. I heard him telling them that they can get on a diet or get ready for a stroke. Of course we all know that, but most people wouldn't be that direct. I like Albert: he goes straight to the point."

Sofia smiled back at her. "You like Albert because he's just like you. Straight cut!"

"Precisely. I don't like people who sugar coat. I like people who put things the way they are, even if they are not good. Politically correct might look very good on a letter or a computer screen, but in medicine we need to be clear and real."

"I agree." Sofia concluded and joined Albert and Carla to have a share in their fun, which lasted until they closed for the evening. Albert didn't seem to have a pause button.

By six o'clock there were only three lost luggage reports on her desk and Denise was very happy. The front desk phones were ringing but only with the usual first day questions. She felt her instinct was right and that was going to be a good cruise. To make it even better, Kate hadn't shown her face since early morning and Leah was too busy counting money to get on anyone's nerves.

Just before six, Diego managed to screw up her happiness with one phone call.

"I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?" He asked with his traditional happy mood, like it didn't matter how bad it could be he wouldn't worry too much about it. She had always envied that about him.

Denise made a pause and then asked him for the good news first.

"As you know Amy's husband left today and since she was feeling a bit depressed we are doing a wine and cheese party tonight."

Denise suddenly remembered that Amy was going to be alone for another two cruises before she went on holiday. "Sure. That would be great. I might even have some cheese this time." She joked and heard him chuckle on the other side.

"Time for bad news now. You know Kate's guy, that Italian engineer?"

"Yes."

"His wife joined today and she's going to be onboard for two cruises." Diego said sounding serious enough so that she knew he wasn't just teasing.

"Crap!" She replied. "And I thought last cruise had been hell."

"I guess you better prepare yourself." Diego recommended.

"Well, thanks for telling me, and I'll just focus on avoiding her like a contagious disease."

"Fingers crossed. Maybe it won't be that bad." Diego replied.

"Or maybe I'll just turn into an alcoholic." She replied and he laughed again.

After work, Amy gathered a small group in her cabin and by the smile on her face, no one would have guessed how much she missed her husband. Denise looked at her for a little and wished to be that strong-minded.

"Why can't Kate and Leah be like that? Would it cost them anything to be nice? Look at Amy, people love her. She's respected for who she is. With or without stripes, no one questions her authority." Denise shared with Diego, who was in a very good mood again and had his arms around her waist and his head on her shoulder, which she found very pleasant and comforting.

"People are different, maybe they can't get their heads around whatever is happening in their lives. It's difficult to understand. Just let go." He suggested.

Letting go was not Denise's specialty. She turned her head back and kissed him softly. "I know, but it's hard to let go when you have to work with them. You're so lucky to work with Amy. She's so great."

"I know. Let's see what I get next. Amy leaves in two cruises, but then I leave just after her, so it doesn't really matter."

Denise shivered when he said that. Being so busy she hadn't stopped to think clearly that in a month Diego was leaving. The thought made her incredibly sad but before she could dwell on it Amy turned her attention to them, gave them some wine and crackers with cheese and distracted everyone with her conversation.

As much as she wanted to keep her mind away from it, Denise started to grasp that Diego was actually leaving and if so far he hadn't made future plans or talked about what to do next, it was very clear that she wasn't included. That was more painful than she had anticipated.

"What's wrong?" He asked one of the many times he noticed her mind wasn't there.

"Nothing." She replied automatically.

"Does that nothing have anything to do with the fact that I am leaving in a month?" He asked.

She sighed. "You are more observing than I gave you credit for."

He held her hands on his and looked her in the eyes. "Denise, you know how things work onboard. This is not the real life. It never was..."

She could glimpse a little sadness in him. "I know." A fantasy. That was what her life had turned out to be the past few months.

He brushed his lips over hers. "I really, really want you to be happy. I want us to have a good time while we can. Please don't be sad. I like to see you smile, you have such a beautiful smile, do you know that?"

She didn't have words to reply. He pulled her to him and embraced her. She felt the comfort of his arms and an urge to start running. She fought that and stayed in his arms. There was nowhere to run to.

When they were in the cabin that night, instead of going straight to bed she had a long shower and cried all she needed to cry before joining Diego who was playing with the remote, oblivious to everything else. When she lay next to him he didn't notice her swollen eyes in the darkness of the room and she was grateful for that. That night she promised herself that once it was over with Diego, she would never again put all her energy and feelings into a relationship that had nowhere to go.

# 20

Albert didn't mind to give Sofia the day off since his ID wasn't ready and he couldn't leave the ship that port. She went on a tour of Rotorua.

The tour started early and Sofia's excitement increased as she took another look at her guide. Rotorua was located on a volcanic plateau that encompassed most of the central area of the North Island. There were two major attractions: geothermal activity and beautiful lakes. Rotorua's sparkling Lakeland features eleven major lakes and the city nestles on the shore of the largest in the district: Lake Rotorua. It was the intense volcanic activity that sculpted and reformed the landscape.

On the bus, the guide told the visitors that thanks to the geothermal activity, Rotorua was famous as a Spa resort for people wishing to relax in pools of natural hot mineral water, wrap their bodies in mud or get a massage under thermal water.

The town was pretty and quite unique. There were not so many places in the world where one could find steam rising from cracks, gardens, pathways to beautiful places and all so close to residential areas. The price to pay was the strong and most unpleasant smell of sulphate but if the locals didn't complain and could cope with it all year long, one day should be all right even for the sensitive noses.

The group walked through the city and just a few minutes away from the center they saw geysers, boiling pools of mud, silica terraces and fumaroles. It was an incredible manifestation from the Earth's internal activity that reflected in the shapes and colors it created. Everybody's cameras were in action immediately and Sofia didn't miss a chance and asked a few passengers to take some pictures of her with the geysers and the steam being spilled from the insides of the planet right behind her.

The crater lakes were also absolutely startling. Their rich mineral deposits gave the landscape different tones that went from pale white to a vibrant turquoise blue at the same time the steam was released from the many cracks in the cliffs.

The guide explained that there were several volcanoes, now dormant, and the calderas became the sparkling lakes that dazzle the tourists. These lakes were home to numerous species of plants and animals, including trout that entertained the lovers of fishing. Sofia found herself thinking that she wouldn't mind to fish one on her plate.

Almost answering her thoughts, they stopped in a local restaurant for lunch and Sofia ordered grilled trout. It was great to eat something fresh and different. The ship's food was not bad, but after a few months getting the same menu every cruise, it was fantastic to have a different meal.

The afternoon was spent learning about the Maori, something that turned out to be a lot more interesting than Sofia's initial expectations. Rotorua is the heartland of New Zealand's Maori culture. The Arawa people of Rotorua were New Zealand's first visitor guides, leading the way to the natural wonders that have been part of their life for more than six hundred years.

The Whakarewarewa thermal village was a surreal place for someone who was completely new to the Maori culture. Set amidst a landscape of erupting geothermal activity, hot thermal springs and hot bubbling mud pools, the Maori village attracted thousands of tourists every year.

The sign at the entrance read "Nau mai, naere mai, whakatau mai", meaning: welcome, come in, make yourself at home.

Local hosts wearing the traditional outfits – called kakahu and made from the fibers of the flax plant – received them with a warm smile. They explained that the people of Tuhourangi/Ngati Wahiao had lived around the geothermal activity of Whakarewarewa for more than two hundred years. In 1997 they had started an independent tourism project that made the village and the Maori culture known to the world. The Tuhourangi/Ngati Wahiao people have an incredible heritage which they have shared with visitors eager to learn more and to help preserving their unique background.

The Maori guide explained that the villagers were always delighted to share their knowledge and pastime experiences. For the next half an hour Sofia learned remarkable facts about the culture and traditions of the people, starting with the Maori migration from the legendary homeland Hawaiiki to Aotearoa in New Zealand.

The host informed that all the geothermal features in the local area played a special role in the villager's life. Surrounded by a mixture of geothermal activity, from the spray of the geysers to the plopping of mud pools and beauty of the mineral lakes, each feature was significant to the village.

One of the highlights was the Whare Tupuna, an ancestral carved house. The building retained carved and woven panels which displayed the genealogy, history and culture of the tribe, almost like a book. This was seen as the heart of the village, since it was the living display of centuries of the Maori activities.

The last part consisted of cultural performances that demonstrated the Maori culture through songs and dances. There was a Karanga, a formal welcoming performed by the women, a Whaikorero followed by a classical Maori chant named Moteatea and then a Waiata-a-ringa, an action song, followed by the famous Haka. The Haka was a dance performed by men and it used to be a psychological and physical preparation for battle. Since this was the only part of the show that the visitors were already familiar with, it was also the most applauded.

Someone mentioned that the All Blacks always performed a Haka before their games and Sofia made a mental note to look for that online.

The bus dropped them back by the ship at six thirty and they were one of the last groups onboard. The ship sailed at seven and Sofia returned to her cabin, exhausted but very happy with the experience. Days like that make it worth to be a crew member.

In her cabin she scrolled quickly through the pictures that she had downloaded into her laptop. They were fantastic and she selected one of them, with her posing in front of a geyser to send Kieran.

Then she paged Denise and asked her to come over. Her friend arrived a few minutes later, looking worn out as well, but surely for different reasons.

Sofia handed her a package wrapped in light green paper. Denise looked at it surprised.

"You got me a present?" She asked taken aback.

"Yes. I thought you would like it. Open."

Denise removed the paper carefully and opened random pages of the book entitled 'The best of New Zealand'.

"It's beautiful. Thanks Sofia, I really love it." She said, looking at the pictures. "This country is so gorgeous I want to come back one day and see it."

Sofia nodded. "Yes, I guess that would be the only way to see anything properly. If you only have three hours off a day, you can't go far."

"Yes, and I've heard a rumor that the company is going to increase the hours. For us it will be bad, but imagine for the waiters and cleaners, going from eleven to thirteen hours a day." She observed.

"That's not a life and I don't know if it's even legal. If they have to work that much their rest period won't be respected." Sofia said, surprised that someone would actually consider that.

"Ships are different from land. Standard rules don't apply here and if people sign a contract that says it's thirteen hours a day, than it's their problem. I'm not signing it for sure." Denise confirmed.

"So you're not coming back?"

"I've been thinking about it. My decision is not final yet. I'm not very good making decisions in general. But it might be time for me to look for alternatives, now that it seems everything is turning against me. I'll think of that as a sign, even though I'm not superstitious."

"Fair enough. If you finish your contract you can always come back anyway. Maybe you could wait for some time and see if it makes sense to return or not."

"That's exactly my plan." Denise nodded positively.

They went for dinner in the buffet because Denise wanted a break from the same people that were always in the officer's mess and in the wardroom. They paged the Tour Office manager and Denise called Allison to join them. The four women had a really nice time up there.

As the others talked about their day to day challenges, Sofia observed the buffet stewards and couldn't help feeling sorry for them. Such hard working people who would never have the chance to see the places she had been to. If they had eight hours off, they still had to fit eight hours of work in their schedule and that was what they called a day off. That was a very hard life.

* * *

The first sea day of the cruise was also the first formal night and the front desk had a very hectic day, although nothing major had happened apart from Leah misplacing 300.000 dollars that took her the entire afternoon to find in the middle of bundles of notes and spreadsheets and left her in a horrible mood. Of course Leah knew there was no way she could have really lost that much money and that it was just a mistake somewhere, but until she found it, she was beyond nervous.

Denise loathed back office meetings but she couldn't afford not to go, so there she was with the rest of the team listening to Leah, who started with some practical issues concerning cash handling which was very appropriate, especially for her, but nobody dared to remind her. All the receptionists agreed to what she said and she was happy and finished her intervention quickly.

Tania gave the team some information about the new procedures for disembarkation and Alice and Denise passed, since they didn't have anything new to add. But then it was Kate's turn and she had a lot to say. While she was talking, the first purser arrived. After Kate gave her speech Elaine took her turn and talked to them about schedules, the amount of hours that each of them was expected to work, and then used Rebecca as an example not to follow because the cruise before she had exceeded the number of hours the company allowed. Everyone looked at Rebecca who turned pale and speechless.

Not happy enough with the embarrassment she had caused, Elaine gave Rebecca a written warning for working too many hours, which everyone found indecent and unfair, but no one dared to say a word to the first purser. She had so much power onboard that going against her would be professional suicide.

Rebecca read the paper quickly and as her eyes started to fill with tears, she left the room without signing. Her surprise was so great she didn't even know what to say. Denise and Tania both gave Elaine a killer look that she ignored and went after Rebecca who visibly needed some support.

They found her in the corridor in tears and took her to Tania's cabin where she spent a good time crying before she could get herself together and say a few words.

"I worked so hard..." She claimed between sobs.

Tania hugged her. "I know you did. We all know you did."

Denise handed her a glass of water with sugar. "Is that legal? Can she give Rebecca that written warning?" She asked.

"I don't know. Being the first purser I guess she can. Maybe I should talk to the human resources manager and see what we can do." Tania suggested.

Rebecca stared at them looking for answers in their eyes.

"You're just forgetting one detail. The HR manager is friends with Elaine. Do you really think she's going to do something about it?" Denise asked skeptical.

"Friends or no friends, she has to follow protocol. Let me page her." Tania dialed the number and the phone rang a moment later.

The conversation was short and Tania explained what happened in brief words. When she hung up her face was not a happy one.

"So?" Denise asked and Rebecca waited for them to give her an idea of what to do.

"She said Elaine has the power to issue the written warning. Rebecca did exceed the hours she was supposed to do. But it is her choice to sign or not."

"I only did those hours because it was the only way to get the program implemented on time." Rebecca justified, halfheartedly. "What does she think? That working sixteen hour days is fun? I wasn't showing off, I was only doing my job. I haven't been out of this ship in weeks, I haven't had a proper night of sleep since we receive orders to have this new system up and running and it fell on me to do it."

"What an incredible ungrateful cow!" Denise chided and Tania nodded in agreement.

"Yes, but she has those stripes on her shoulders and we have to do what she says, right?" Rebecca concluded with a mix of resignation and disgust.

"Are you going to sign?" Tania asked.

"No. I didn't do anything to deserve it. Some people come to work late and hangover, sometimes still drunk and they don't get written warnings. Some of them are rude and can't speak English properly. Two of them lose money on a regular basis, at least three don't understand the concept of sending the uniforms to laundry before they change colors and I can think of more than one who frequently sleep with passengers. We have people who shouldn't be here to start with and then she tells me off in a meeting in front of everyone and says I'm a bad example because I work too much...?"

Denise agreed that she shouldn't sign the warning. It was unfair and out of purpose.

"I just feel like going to the crew office, get a resignation form and go home." Rebecca affirmed.

Denise sat in front of her and looked at her in the eyes. "Listen Rebecca, I've wanted to do that since they took me out of the crew office, but I didn't, you know why?"

She nodded negatively.

"Because then they win." Denise explained. "If you leave you will lose your job. They will keep theirs. The company will send another person to replace you and they don't give a damn about you and the reason why you left. Don't let them win."

"And what do you suggest me to do then?" Rebecca asked, her brown eyes filling with tears again.

"Do your job as well as you can, but make sure you don't work one minute more than what you are scheduled for. The next time something comes up, let them sort it out."

Tania agreed and after a bit of talk, Rebecca felt better and decided to continue onboard. They stayed in the cabin a bit longer and Denise went to the crew office to share the news with Amy and get her own rage off her tight chest.

After listening to Denise, Amy was mad, while Diego and Benjie were simply shocked.

"How does she dare? Rebecca was my assistant last contract and that girl is brilliant, she's a responsible hard working professional and a lovely person." Amy said angrily.

"It's Elaine. She does whatever she feels like." Denise replied.

"I have to hear her unpleasant comments because she doesn't seem to find anything nice to say, but this goes over the acceptable. There must be something that we can do to stop this woman. Doesn't she have limits?"

"Sorry Amy, but I don't think so. I was here last contract and I know her well. Elaine is not the kind of person you want to mess up with. She always gets her way." Diego clarified, breaking his silence.

"Tania called the human resources manager and she said the only thing Rebecca can do is not to sign the warning." Denise added. "She can take it up further with head office but we all know that's likely a dead end. There were no rules infringed, only ethics if we look at it from a professional point of view. Unfortunately we can't legally punish people for being heartless and bitchy."

After venting everything she needed to vent, Denise went to her cabin. She lay in bed watching television, trying to keep her hanger away. Diego hadn't arrived yet and she didn't need to ask where he was.

There was a movie on TV that got her attention and Denise watched it, although she had already missed the beginning. At one point one of the characters died in a car crash and as the camera captured his face on the screen in the middle of the rubble, Denise's mind flashed back to some years earlier when one of her best friends had died in a car accident. The dead character looked a lot like Louis, and suddenly she felt big tears rolling down her face. When she started having difficulties breathing all she could think of was to page Diego and she sounded so bad that he came running.

As soon as he entered the cabin, he found Denise struggling to get air into her lungs and crying compulsively. He asked if she wanted him to call the medical center. She didn't want him to and managed to tell him it was a panic attack while gasping for air. Diego read somewhere that when people have panic attacks it helps to give them a paper bag to help them breathe inside. He couldn't find a paper bag anywhere and the only other thing that occurred to him was to sit with her on his lap, her back towards his chest and try to breathe with her.

It took a few minutes for her to calm down but it worked and she started breathing normally again. Diego held her in his arms and turned off the TV that she had left on.

"Are you sure I shouldn't call Sofia or Albert?" He wiped some tears out of her face.

"Don't call them. I'll be fine." She murmured.

"Denise, people don't have attacks like that out of the blue. And no, you're not fine. What's going on?"

"I was watching a movie and then I couldn't breathe." She said supporting her head on his shoulder and leaving out the memories the movie triggered.

"Have you ever had this before?"

"Yes. But it happens very rarely. The last time was years ago." She replied. It took an extreme situation to set her off like that.

"All right." Diego said, not sure if there was something else he should do.

He put on a CD playing ambient lounge music and Denise lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"About what?"

"Whatever is bothering you so much."

"No." Denise said. "I don't want to talk about anything at all. Can we just stay like this?" She asked with her arms locked around his neck.

He held her back and kissed her forehead. "Sure. We can do whatever you want."

"No, we can't." She whispered.

Diego suspected that his girlfriend's panic attack had something to do with the afternoon's events. He knew she had been tired and stressed most of her contract but things hadn't been that bad until that moment. The fact that one of her team members had been treated so unfairly really affected her deeply. He admired the way she cared so much about other people but at the same time wished she could be more detached. He couldn't imagine Denise surviving onboard much longer if she took everything so personally. He wished there was anything he could do to help her see that it was better for her to let go of the things she couldn't control.

Experience had taught him that what happens on the cruise ship should stay on the cruise ship. It was easier that way. He was well aware that if he hadn't learned to separate his feelings from the circumstances out of his control, he wouldn't have made it that far.

After a number of issues that nearly had cost him his job, Diego had learned his lesson. He saw his fellow crew members as temporary companions. He cared for them and appreciated their company, but he had no intention of allowing for deep feelings. He wanted to stay with the cruise line for some time longer and had no intention of getting hurt again. He wished he could teach Denise to defend her heart but she seemed drawn to do the exact opposite.

She fell asleep in his arms and he brushed his fingers through her hair and her face very softly. She was beautiful. He wondered how things would have gone if they had met under different circumstances. Part of him wished they had. The other part liked the freedom to be able to let go without remorse.

* * *

The Ocean Pearl was about to arrive in Christchurch and long before she docked Albert called Sofia, Carla and Mary and invited them to have breakfast with him in the buffet at five thirty in the morning. Keira was spared because she had been on duty all night.

Sofia arrived there still yawning. Mary seemed to be wide awake and Carla looked like a zombie.

"Can you please explain why we are up at stupid o'clock?" Sofia asked and Albert gave her his best triumphant smile.

"Because it's a beautiful day and we should watch sunrise together". He answered with a smirk.

"Are you still jet lagged?" Stifling another yawn, Carla checked her watch.

"No. I'm back in shape."

"I was afraid of that."

After breakfast, they went to the front of the ship, above the bridge and observed the sunrise like Albert wanted. The ship was approaching port and sailing slow, which made the wind easy to bear. It was a bit cold and they shivered a little but turned out that Albert had been right and the view was fantastic. On the left, the mountain peaks showed their majesty and behind the ship the blue sea became bluer as the sun raised higher up in the clear, cloudless sky.

Sofia was glad she had her camera and they took a number of pictures together. She knew they would only be together temporarily and wanted to have the memories well kept. As the girls posed and Albert pressed the button the ship made her final entry into the port and within a few minutes they made a full stop and the gangways were prepared so that people could go ashore.

"See, wasn't it a good idea to get you out of bed early?" Albert asked smugly.

"Getting out of bed early should be against the law. But this is beautiful." Carla admitted.

"Many people work on ships for years and they never make their way here to enjoy a moment like this. They watch the sunsets not realizing the sunrises are a lot more mesmerizing." Albert said.

"That's because they understand the concept of precious sleep." Carla retorted, yawning one more time.

"I am happy that we came up here today. This is stunning." Sofia affirmed happily.

"And later on I'm going fishing with the captain." Albert added.

"Really?"

"Yes. We are out of here by eleven and we're going to get a big, big fish."

Mary glanced at him. "Are you going to bring the big fish onboard so we can cook it?"

"Of course not." He said. "I'm going to take a picture and throw the fish back in the water."

"What's the point then?"

"The point is the fun of it. Big fish are hard to get. They fight a lot. We do it because we like the struggle." He explained.

Mary gave him a wry look. "Men!"

"Would you like to come with us?" He invited sarcastically.

"No. I would probably kick your arse. I'm going on a boat ride and see the penguins."

A moment later Sofia was called by Denise and she was seriously concerned when her friend told her about the previous night.

When the medical center closed the doors that morning Sofia paged Diego. He didn't ask questions over the phone but it wasn't difficult to guess why she wanted to talk to him.

Diego came into the medical center and walked slowly through her open door. She smiled warmly and invited him to sit on the chair across from her desk.

"Hi Diego, thanks for coming."

"Hi. I'm guessing this is about Denise." He started.

"Yes. She called me this morning. I need you to describe what happened last night." Sofia asked, with his girlfriend's file opened in from of her on the desk.

"What do you want to know? If she called you she must have told you already."

"She did. But in this case I think you're in better shape to give an accurate report than she is."

Diego nodded. "All right. I was in the wardroom and she paged me. She sounded very stressed and I could hear she was having trouble breathing. I ran to the cabin and when I arrived she was crying compulsively and it was like the air wasn't reaching her lungs." He summarized.

Sofia took some notes. "What did you do?"

"I held her, put my hand on her thorax and helped her follow my rhythm until she was breathing normally again."

"How long did that last?"

"I'm not sure, but it wasn't long. I asked her if she wanted me to call you but she said no and I didn't think it was a good idea to upset her more."

"It's okay, you did the right thing. Diego, do you have any idea if she ever had this before?"

"She said she did, but it was long ago. She's been pretty tired and nervous but I've never seen her like that." Diego added.

Sofia took her eyes of her notes and looked at him. "Do you have any idea why she might be having panic attacks?"

"She says she doesn't know, but it seems pretty obvious to me. She's been having a horrible contract and I think that situation yesterday with Rebecca probably trigged it."

Sofia pursed her lips in deep thought. "What about you? What impact do you think you are having in her emotional balance?"

Diego paused and then told her he didn't know. She believed him. He didn't have the sensibility to understand someone like Denise, so it was only natural that he couldn't figure out what was going on with her.

"Soon you will finish your contract and as far as I can tell that will also be the end for you and Denise. Don't you think that adds to her stress?" She tried to make him think.

"Maybe." He admitted. "I really don't know what to do with her. Denise thinks too much, she worries too much. Everything is a big deal for her. No wonder she gets stressed!"

Sofia pulled her chair from behind the desk and sat in front of him. "Diego, you are a very intelligent guy, so think about this. Yes, Denise is stressed because of work, but don't you see that she's also hurting because she knows she's going to lose you?"

She could see his muscles stiffen.

"Maybe she is, but that's not my fault. You can think whatever you want about me but I'm not the cold son of a bitch who wants to hurt Denise. I care about her and I never wanted to hurt her." He justified.

Sofia half smiled.

"You're not a cold son of a bitch. A selfish bastard maybe, but let's not be too dramatic. I understand that sometimes things don't go as we expect. But now it's one of those moments when you need to think about what you can do. If Denise goes on like this, as her doctor I will get her medically disembarked before she gets a nervous breakdown. This has gone far enough already. Now tell me, what kind of man are you going to be from now on?"

Diego felt nervous and uncomfortable. "What do you suggest I do?" His brown eyes scrutinized the room like he was expecting for some secret door to open so he could escape.

"First of all, you can start being there for her. Try to spend less time playing with your friends and play with her instead, if you know what I mean. Second, let me know how she goes. She won't tell me because I informed her that if she has another attack I'll send her home. For the sake of her health I need to know everything."

"Sure. I'll keep you on the loop. Just tell me one thing. If I become that nice boyfriend you think I should be, don't you think it will be harder for Denise to say goodbye to me? Won't that hurt her more?"

"Normally I would agree with you, but on ships normal doesn't apply. Denise is already hurt. She's getting a broken heart no matter what. I'm not sure why she didn't break up with you yet, but if she needs you that much, being a decent boyfriend until the end of your contract will make her life a bit better. When you leave I'll see what I can do, as her friend and as her doctor." Sofia clarified.

Diego realized there was nothing else to say and got ready to leave. Before he opened the door he turned around and looked at her one more time.

"Sofia, I know you think I'm a crappy boyfriend, but I really wish things had been different."

Sofia glanced at him with her big green eyes. "Diego, YOU ARE a crappy boyfriend, and it doesn't matter what you wish or don't wish. Like I told you before, it's what you do and not what you say that defines who you are." She replied a bit more bitterly than she wanted to. "But I do appreciate you as a friend." She added.

After he left, Sofia put the chair back where it belong and took some time to think. It was hard to talk to Diego like that. She actually liked him and it was difficult to lecture someone who she loved as a friend, but it was time someone gave him a wakeup call.

# 21

Thanks to her solid friendship with the tour office manager, Sofia had a tour in Hobart.

Despite docking in Tasmania every cruise, she had only been off the ship once in that port and only to have lunch in the popular district of Salamanca. Something always got on the way: drills, trainings or too much work frequently ruined her chances to see the home of the famous Tasmanian Devil.

This time Sofia made sure to get time off. When she arrived in the meeting point she found a familiar face.

"Hello night manager! Going on tour?"

Ian smiled and kissed her blushed cheeks. "There has to be something good about working all night."

They compared tour tickets and realized they were on the same tour. With some sweet talk, Ian convinced the tour operator to let them travel together on the last bus, which only carried twenty passengers so there was plenty of room left.

History told that Port Arthur used to be a settlement started as a timber station in 1830 but everyone knew the place for being a prison. From 1833 until the 1850's it was the destination for the hardest convicted British and Irish criminals and it was known as not much better than going straight to hell.

"So, I ask for a nice tour in Hobart and she sends me to jail." Sofia observed with a mocking grin.

"That's Natalie. She always knows how to make us feel special."

The guide went on explaining that the peninsula where Port Arthur was located was a naturally secured site, almost completely surrounded by water, and rumor had it, infested by sharks. There was a strip of land only thirty meters wide uniting the peninsula to the mainland, and that used to be fenced and guarded by soldiers and hungry dogs. It was almost impossible for prisoners to escape.

After the closure of the penal colony in 1877 the area was renamed Carnavan. During the 1880's the site and the land surrounding it were sold and a community established there. In 1895 and 1897 devastating fires destroyed many old buildings, but the new residents, despite the difficulties, strived and created a township.

After the settlement's closure, tourism took over. With many people eager to see the horrors of the penal station, there was a new opportunity for business. Tourists brought a new source of income to the residents and by 1927 it had grown into a great local industry and the name was changed to Port Arthur.

"Always the bling, bling." Ian murmured as they went into what was left of the main building.

When they saw more of Port Arthur, Sofia started to think that maybe Natalie was right after all. The place was beautiful, peaceful and there was a certain nostalgia scent perfuming the air. The grounds were much wider than she was expecting. It could take easily two days to do a complete tour.

Ian spent some time taking pictures of the buildings by the water with a very nice new SLR camera and made some great shots of Sofia who was happy to pose with the fabulous landscape behind.

He sat next to her on a big rock by the waterfront and showed her the pictures in the small screen of his camera.

"Beautiful." Sofia said sincerely. "For a gay guy it's incredible how you capture the best of a woman."

"I might be gay, but I'm not blind. Besides, I love women." Ian replied.

"How does that work?"

"I love women for many reasons. You girls have some amazing qualities. I just don't like you in a sexual way, you know."

She nodded negatively. "No idea. My mind is a bit basic on things like that. I'm still trying to understand that guys can like other guys and girls other girls. It's too much sand for my little truck."

Ian burst in laughter. Sofia took a bottle of water from her bag and drank half.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" She asked.

"Sure. Until five years ago I was on a long term relationship with a lovely lady. We broke up before I joined the ships." He confirmed.

Sofia stared at him and didn't hide her surprise.

"So you're a recently converted gay."

"If you want to put it that way..."He chuckled.

"That's very confusing. How did that happen?"

"It's not a religion that you can convert to. I was always different. Coming to the ships simply helped me to define who I really am." He tried to explain, not very successfully.

"Could be, but the more I see onboard, the more I believe that being gay is fashion."

"There are some cases, others are real." Ian replied. "I do remember this engineer about a year ago that came onboard dating a Spa girl and left dating one of the housekeeping boys."

"Seriously?"

He nodded affirmatively.

"If I were that girl I would have killed him!" Sofia said, imagining the humiliation the poor girl must have felt. "Only on ships!"

"Only on ships!" Ian snickered.

The next part of the tour was a ferry crossing, followed by a thirty minute walking tour of the Isle of the Dead. Like the name suggested, the Isle was a cemetery. It was where all of those who died in the prison camps got buried.

Sofia looked around and meditated on death and how with time people who died and were once loved ended up being forgotten; even the names on the gravestones faded away and eventually it would be as if they had never existed.

People lived, people died and everything was gone without a trace, just like her father. He had been a man who left marks. He had left a prosperous company, a scattered family and an image that wasn't always positive. But he was a man who did things, wrong or right. His legacy still existed and it would likely exist for a while longer but in time it would disappear just like he did. What little was left of his body was buried on the ground the same way anonymous people were once buried in the isle where she was standing, and he too would be forgotten. Everybody would be forgotten. The thought made her gloomy until Ian diverted her attention with his easy talk.

On the ferry back, they heard someone say that Port Arthur was known for cases of haunting and ghosts.

Ian and Sofia looked at each other and grimaced. "So, prison followed by cemetery... interesting."

"Yes it is. The Australians are almost as good at recycling places into tourist attractions as the Irish." Sofia affirmed.

"How come?"

"In Dublin they converted an old church and an old bank into popular bars." She explained.

"They put a bar in a church building?"

"Yes. In Ireland, anywhere is good to be a bar. The Church Bar is actually one of my favorites. Amazing place, great atmosphere."

Ian giggled at the idea. "I'll add that to my list next time I'm there."

Back on land they had another walk around and took some more pictures with the sun in a position that made the water look like a flat golden mirror.

By half four in the afternoon they found the guide sitting outside the Broad Arrow Café, having a bottle of sparkling water. She was alone, waiting for the time to take the group back to the ship. Ian and Sofia sat with her and ordered some refreshments and snacks.

During their conversation the guide told them that on Sunday 28th of April 1996 a nut case armed himself with three automatic guns and killed thirty five people right there.

"He had a meal here, on this same deck and then took out a rifle and began shooting. In ninety seconds he killed twenty people and injured another twelve. Then he moved to the parking lot, killed a few more there, got on his stolen car, drove north and in front of a store he killed another person, took a hostage and later killed the hostage too. The police got him, but his death toll was thirty five murders plus many injured." The guide described with sadness in her eyes.

"I think I remember that. It was all over the news."

"I remember it too, but I didn't know it was here." Ian said, looking around and imagining all those dead bodies and the panic and desperation people must have felt.

"I've tried to understand many times what makes a person snap and become a killer. Never got anywhere." The guide said dryly.

Sofia nodded in agreement. "I don't think we will ever understand. Nearly three years ago someone put a bomb underneath my father's car and blew him out." Sofia revealed, surprised with herself for telling that to a stranger and a colleague.

Ian and the guide stared at her. "Your father was murdered?"

"Yes, he was."

"Why?"

"Could be many reasons. He made a lot of enemies over the years. The police never gathered enough evidence to convict anyone. The process was filed recently. I guess we will never know who killed him." Sofia explained.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." The guide replied.

Their conversation was interrupted by a group of happy passengers and Sofia felt relieved. Her father's death was not a subject she liked talking about. The bus took them back to the ship and Sofia changed into her gym wear and wondered where she was going to find the energy to do a spinning class when her legs were already aching so much.

Ian rushed to his cabin to get as much sleep as he could before his shift started in just a few hours. Getting the day off in port was nice but there was still an entire night of work ahead.

Lying on his bed with a smile on his face, Ian thought about how insane it was to be a crew member. Working every day, sleeping fast or nothing at all, partying like crazy and sharing personal life details with strangers because family and friends were so far away. It was a wild life, but he loved it.

He saw people going home saying they weren't going to come back all the time. Some of them did, some didn't. They all had their reasons but every time he thought about it, despite all the issues and all the challenges, he couldn't find a single reason to look for another life style when the one he had made him so happy.

His thoughts circled through his previous contracts and he recalled with joy the friends he had made, the people he had the privilege to work with, the incredible places where otherwise he probably would never have gone, the legendary crew bar parties, the insane corridor parties, cabin parties and other sorts of parties... Being a crew member always felt like being in a different dimension and for Ian, a much nicer one. It was on the cruise ships that he found the most incredible friends a person could ask for and where he also found an interesting, unusual and fulfilling way of living.

He was perfectly aware that ship's life didn't work well for everybody, but as long as it worked for him, he would go on enjoying life onboard.

* * *

On the opposite side, Denise could find a long list of things that made her unhappy onboard. Exhausted, she felt her severe emotional limitations taking her down. Her mind no longer responded as quickly and she knew her professional performance wasn't getting any better.

She woke up tired every morning and couldn't even stand the sound of people's voices anymore. Everything was turning into big problems, even when they were not that big and sometimes were not even problems.

Denise enjoyed playing the piano once in a while but she had started spending more time looking at the keys and appreciating the silence in the empty wedding chapel than playing music. Her mind went back and forth to all kinds of different memories: her happy childhood and the wish for a brother that never came, her first bicycle, the day her father got a new job and decided to get everything new including a new family, the fall that made her drop her dreams of being a professional pianist, her first love back in Switzerland when she was seventeen, the death of her best friend in a car accident, her first day on a ship four years earlier, her feelings for Diego...

She was giving serious consideration to leaving the ships. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. Making up her mind, turning it into reality, was going to be an entire different story. She had never been the sort of person who made decisions easily, quite the opposite. The fact was, she thought so much and planed with so much detail that everything got delayed for indefinite periods of time due to her inability to make up her mind.

She looked in her drawer looking for a phone card and once she had it in her hand she called home. It was time to get a few things out of her system and no one better for that than her life-time closest friend: her mother.

Elsa listened carefully to everything her daughter had been hiding. She knew Denise wasn't having a very good time on the Ocean Pearl but until that moment, to the best of her knowledge, the problems were work related. Denise had kept Diego out of her conversations with her mother and Elsa didn't even know he existed. She was not impressed when she heard Denise tell what she was putting her heart through.

"So, what do you think?" Denise asked.

There was a brief silence and a loud sigh. "Honey, I'm trying to understand your motives, I swear I am. I know how frustrating and heart crushing it is to let go of someone who you are in love with, but I think you are taking this too far. If you already know that this guy is going to break up with you and if you hate your job so much, please come home the next port you dock." Elsa asked solicitously.

"No mom. I've handled this until now. I'm staying until the end."

"But honey, this is destroying you. I can feel it. Don't put yourself through anymore sorrow. I'll buy you the plane ticket so you can come home." She pressed.

"Thanks mom, but I am going to finish this contract." She answered with a matter-of-fact tone. "I don't want to think about this one day and picture myself as a quitter."

"Always so stubborn."

"Yes, I think I got that from my mother."

Elsa grinned lightly. "Just promise me one thing then. If it becomes unbearable, you leave that ship, okay? Don't load yourself with more than what you can carry. Promise me that."

"I'll see what I can do." She answered with a bleak voice.

"You need to PROMISE." Elsa insisted.

"All right mom, I promise."

"Good. I'll be counting the days to have you with me again so I can take care of you a bit. You're going to have a great time. There is so much snow, just like you always loved."

"That's great." Denise replied, enjoying the idea of being taken care of better than the snow. It had been a long time since someone took care of her. That would be really nice for a change. "I love you mom." She concluded with her chest tightened.

* * *

One more sea day and the ship docked once again in the beautiful city of Sydney. Due to a delay shore side the passengers had to wait onboard for longer than expected and that transformed the disembarkation process into a nightmare with people shouting and complaining because they were at risk of missing their flights. It took one extra hour to get everyone off the ship.

Even with a very short lunch break Denise was able to escape and take a walk to the Opera House. It was nice and relaxing and the bright sun gave her strength, extra vitamin D and some energy to return to the Ocean Pearl and face another hectic afternoon.

Kate was very stressed because of the difficult morning, and since her lover's wife was still onboard she was in a foul mood. Most of the team was used to that and didn't pay her much attention anymore. Leah was unusually relaxed and cheerful which made Denise apprehensive. Her mood swings were unsettling.

The man that came every turnaround day to tune the piano in the lobby was getting on the nerves of every receptionist on duty.

"I wish he would play that damn piano, instead of assassinating it!" Denise complained childishly and Alison laughed behind the desk that she was supplying with stationery for the new cruise, not even imagining how hard her supervisor was fighting not to run downstairs and play the piano herself.

"I suppose he's just doing his job. A very annoying one, I must say." One of the receptionists observed.

Embarkation was starting and it wouldn't be long before people began to queue up with the usual queries: the promised onboard credits from the travel agencies, upgrade requests, questions about credit cards, luggage that was not yet delivered and so on...

The piano tuning stopped right on time, as the first passengers arrived onboard.

"Another beautiful day!" Kevin said out loud.

"Yes, right..." Allison replied ironically, happy that her contract was going to be over soon and she was going to get rid of that horrible team that she was stuck with. She was happy that the request she had made for her next ship had been accepted. The company was launching a new ship and she was going to be part of the debut team. That should be a wonderful experience: to sail only with crew from the shipyard in Italy to New York and then have the grand inauguration party onboard and start sailing the Caribbean.

In the terminal building there was absolute chaos with thousands of people on queues to embark and Sofia was called twice because of passengers that ticked 'yes' for vomiting and diarrhea in the health forms. She was forced to deny them onboard and the passengers went absolutely mad when they found out. They had paid for the cruise and it was impossible to make them understand that they couldn't go onboard because they might be carrying a contagious virus, which constituted a high risk for everyone else. After a long talk the passengers realized there was no point on arguing. They still had a possibility to join in Melbourne if the doctor cleared them, but not in Sydney. They would lose at least two days of their cruise.

Sofia returned to the ship, upset that she had to give them the bad news, but also mad at them for not understanding what could happen if they boarded sick. She bumped into Aaron who was not attached to a box of cruise cards in the terminal, where he was normally found on turnaround day.

"Hi trouble. What are you up to?" She asked casually when they met by the gangway.

"My assistant is giving me a break. I'm going out for a couple of hours." He answered. "Do you want to come with me? I could use some company. My girlfriend is doing embarkation."

Sofia consulted her watch and did the math in her head. "If you can wait a few minutes I can change and go with you as long as we don't take long."

"Sure, no worries. I'll be here." He replied with a friendly smile.

It had been a stressful day and Sofia couldn't wait to get some fresh air. It was bad enough that Keira had left and her replacement didn't seem to have any energy in her, despite being her first day after the holidays. Putting up with passengers was nerve wrecking and embarkation was nowhere close to be over. Albert handled the passengers for a few hours and then Sofia was going to return and take over everything so he could go ashore later in the afternoon.

Two hours were not good for much so they took a taxi and went to Darling Harbor. Sofia found it truly darling with the boats, cafes, shops and lots of restaurants with tables protected by big umbrellas outside.

The seagulls shared the space with the numerous visitors and there was music coming from different places. All the buildings looked recent and modern. The scattered green spaces gave it a clean and charming atmosphere that many modern cities were missing. Sofia learned from Aaron that, home to the Australian National Maritime Museum, Sydney Aquarium, IMAX Theatre, Sydney Wildlife World and Powerhouse Museum, Darling Harbour offered some of the finest attractions in Australia.

They picked a table outside and Aaron invited her to have a meal.

"Wonderful idea. I'm starving. How come you didn't go home today?" She asked.

"Too far. By the time I got there I would have to come back. Plus I'm finishing my contract soon and then my family will have time to get sick of me."

She chuckled.

He ordered grilled beef with salad and Sofia decided to break the diet and had fish & chips, something she hadn't tasted in a very long time.

During lunch, Aaron gave her a bit more information about the city and Sofia learned that when Captain Arthur Philips hoisted the Union Jack at Sydney cove in 1788, the men onboard his fleet, including 800 prisoners, were the first European settlers on the new continent.

"So this is where it all started."

"Kind off. It actually started at the Rocks." Aaron clarified.

"Are you talking about where the ship is docked?"

"Yes. That was where Sydney first started. Some of the oldest buildings in Australia are there. Of course now they are home to restaurants and shops, but they are still the good old Rocks."

Sofia smiled and observed the people passing by in their shorts and t-shirts. It was a very warm day. She recalled that in Ireland it was winter and the days would be overcast, with occasional rain and cold. She was happy to have the sun on her face instead and only wished Kieran could be there to enjoy it too. That would have been just perfect.

"It's interesting how these places in the middle of nowhere, where some sailor anchored hundreds of years ago, became major modern cities." She observed.

"I think it was mostly because of the Gold Rush in the 1800's. Many immigrants came to Australia's eastern shores. European and Asian immigrants have always been a big slice of Sydney's population. Then there was the lead, zinc and silver and Sydney had a great boom. The wealth brought to the city is the reason for its expansion."

"The Australian dream. Vibrant urban lifestyle, historical buildings, mysterious wilderness... sounds good to me."

Aaron laughed and nodded in agreement. "Very poetic. That's how we do things down under."

"Australia is a great country. But my favourite thing is the Australian accent. It's the sexiest accent I've ever heard."

Aaron laughed again. "Are you sure you want to return to Europe?"

"Geographically speaking I wouldn't mind spending more time here, but my heart is in Ireland and I need to go back to where my love is." Sofia explained.

"How romantic..."He snickered.

"How about you? What's the story with your girlfriend? Is that going anywhere?"

"I don't think so. I'm going home soon and she still has four months left to the end of her contract."

"So this is one of those until the gangway tears you apart things?" She queried.

"Probably."

"As long as I live, I will never be able to understand that. It makes me see people like objects and I really don't like that idea."

Aaron nodded in agreement. "I admit it is bizarre, but as long as both parts agree everything is fine."

"If you say so..." Sofia wasn't and would never be convinced, but she knew better than to argue with him. She remembered Diego's words: what happens on the ship stays on the ship.

# 22

By four o'clock the queue by the front desk went around the atrium and the phones wouldn't stop ringing. Denise was interrupted by one of the receptionists who asked her to go and talk to a passenger.

"Why does he want to talk to me?"

"He insists on seeing Dr. Sofia Aguiar."

"Is he sick?"

"No." The receptionist said.

"Why does he want to see the doctor then?"

"Passengers don't give details like that to insignificant people like me." He answered with a comic grin.

Denise gave up and went to talk to the passenger to find out why he needed a doctor.

The tall guy with blond hair in need of a brush who was standing by the desk fidgeting with his sun glasses reminded her of someone she knew, but she couldn't quite figure out where she had seen him before.

"Hi, I'm Denise, the front desk supervisor. Why do you need to see a doctor?" She asked, meeting his gaze. His eyes were deep blue.

He extended his hand in a firm shake. "I don't want to see a doctor. I want to see Sofia. Can you please call her and tell her Kieran is here?" He asked very politely.

When he said that Denise remembered why he looked so familiar. Sofia had a picture of him in her cabin, although in that picture his hair was shorter. So, that was the famous Kieran...

She gave him a scrutinizing look and told the receptionist to page Sofia.

"Nice to meet you Kieran. I've heard a lot about you." She said while they waited for a reply.

"Really? Are you Sofia's friend?" He asked with a warm smile.

"Yes, Sofia and I are very close. Since she didn't tell me you were coming I'm guessing she doesn't know you are here."

"She has no idea. It's a surprise." He confirmed and Denise found it incredibly romantic and wished that one day someone would do something like that for her.

A few minutes later, the receptionist informed that Sofia was out. She had left her pager with Albert.

Kieran looked disappointed.

"She didn't know you would be here, but listen, give me your cabin number and I'll get her to contact you as soon as she walks through the gangway."

"All right, but then don't tell her I'm here. I want to surprise her."

"Trust me; I wouldn't spoil that for anything in the world. I'll make sure she doesn't find out until she looks at you." Denise promised and Kieran left, looking at a pocket map, trying to find the way to his cabin on deck 12.

For a moment Denise followed him with her eyes and thought of how lucky Sofia was to have someone who loved her like that. She sent a message to security so that as soon as Sofia put her ID on the machine they would instruct her to go straight to Kieran's room.

When Sofia arrived with Aaron, the security officer told her that she needed to go to the cabin and gave her a paper with the number. She looked at him confused.

"Why should I go to a passenger's cabin?"

"I don't know madam. I just received this message that you should go to this cabin urgently." The officer said, following Denise's instructions.

"Very strange." Sofia looked at the paper one more time.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Aaron asked.

"No, you're already late. Let me go and find out what's going on." She replied and took the elevator to deck 12 not even bothering to change into her uniform. On the way up Sofia fixed her hair a little and had a look at her clothes to make sure she didn't look too sloppy. Whatever she was going to find, it was always better to look good.

The cabin was located on the port side towards the middle of the ship and by the side where the door was she could tell straight away it was a cabin with a balcony. The little sign with the name of the occupant was missing and Sofia knocked on the door wondering why someone would tell her to go to an empty passenger cabin. For a moment she thought it was a prank. That idea flew out of her mind as soon as the door opened and she saw Kieran's smile.

Instinctively she jumped on his arms and crushed his lips with hers. Her kiss was eager and anxious. Kieran held her tight and kissed her back with tender, loving promise.

"You are late." He whispered, looking deep in the beautiful green eyes that he had missed so much. His arms circled around her and pulled her into his chest.

"Oh my God! Kieran, what are you doing here?" She asked, grasping the fact that he was actually there and not just a product of her imagination. How many times had she imagined that moment? And not he was there, she could touch him, she could feel him. His grip was firm, solid, comforting.

He ran his hand down her hair and then cupped her face so she'd look directly into his eyes. "I'm on holidays, love. Medical recommendation."

Sofia put her feet back on the ground and looked at him. "You can't do these things to me. I nearly had a heart attack just now."

"No worries babe, I'm a heart surgeon, remember?"

She hit his chest with both hands and laughed. "I just can't believe you're here. It feels so unreal..."

He kissed her fervently and felt her mouth warm and full. "Does this feel more real?"

"That feels very, very real." She confirmed looking in his bright blue eyes. "Can you just do it again so I can make sure?"

After kissing her again, this time for much longer, he grabbed her hand and led her to the balcony where they sat together for a moment.

"What are you doing here? Apart from holidays?" Sofia asked.

"I came all the way to Australia to tell the woman I love that I want her back and I don't care what I have to do to get her heart to beat for me again."

"My heart never stopped beating for you. And I told you I would go back after this contract."

"I couldn't wait that long to be with you." Kieran brushed his hair with his hands and stretched his arms on the chair.

She noticed the length. "What's with your hair?"

"Someone arrested my hairdresser and I'm waiting for him to get out of jail." He joked. "You don't like it?"

She grimaced. "I do like it, but it's the longest I've ever seen in you. I'm not used to it yet. Now back to your holiday plan, please."

He cleared his voice before resuming. "The therapist says I'm doing great progress and when I told him I wanted to see you he said it would be good for me."

"All right." Sofia noted, looking painfully at her watch. "I'm really sorry but I need to go back to work. I'll meet you as soon as I'm done. We have a lot to talk about. Will you be here?"

Kieran didn't make any effort to hide his unhappiness but he understood her duties and let her go with the promise she would come to his cabin as soon as she was done in the medical center.

Since she was onboard, never had three hours felt as long as those and Sofia's head was everywhere except at work. Her heart was in a certain cabin on deck 12. With Albert ashore the work load was big, with a lot of catching up, a few patients to see and a new nurse that was completely lost even though it was her second contract with the company.

Mary ended up being a real life savior. She made things run smoothly and organized the medical center efficiently. Mary had also scared off the new nurse who would hopefully recover well from the experience.

By the time Albert arrived from shore side and Sofia told him Kieran was onboard, he got all excited and told her to go but to make sure he would meet her boyfriend sometime during the cruise.

Sofia ran to Kieran's cabin, still in her uniform because she was too desperate to waste time with minor things like clothing.

He pulled her into the cabin, closed the door behind her and his lips were on hers. The kiss lengthened and deepened. She moved her hands from his shoulders to his neck and then to his face. Something vibrated between them.

"Hungry?" He asked casually a moment later.

"A little."

"I ordered dinner to be served here. We can eat in the balcony with the Opera House right in front of us." Kieran said, pointing at the big white building right across the water.

"It certainly beats sitting in front of a television!" She observed with amusement.

They sat outside and Kieran opened a bottle of white wine and filled both glasses.

Sofia regretted not bringing her own clothes to change. It would feel a lot more comfortable and give her a sense of being on holiday, even if only for a few hours until the next morning, although she secretly hoped she wouldn't need clothes for much longer that night.

Kieran picked up the sun glasses to protect his sensitive eyes. The sun was low, though it wouldn't set for another hour. The clouds to the west were just touched with violet and rose. "This place is so beautiful..." He whispered with his fingers curled over hers.

"It's amazing. Every time we dock here I always go for a walk, at least to the Opera House or the gardens. I love this city." Sofia agreed.

"I was here for three days before the ship arrived. One of the nicest cities I've ever seen." He picked up her hand and turned it over. Her hands had always fascinated him.

Sofia could sense that Kieran loved Sydney, but that was not what he really wanted to talk about. There was an edge to his voice.

"It's okay Kieran, I'm ready for whatever you want to say or ask. Go ahead" She offered in a soft voice.

"You do know me!" He replied with a smile of complicity. "All right, let's go back to the beginning. Why did you leave without talking to me?"

Sofia had a sip of her drink before starting and looked at the buildings in front of the ship for a moment. "When Jamie died you changed. I thought it would get better with time but it only got worse. Not only you didn't stop blaming yourself, you started to punish me as well. In a few weeks I no longer had a boyfriend. You lived in the hospital; we stopped talking, stopped spending time together. I felt abandoned. All the times I tried to talk about it you were distant and dismissive and refused to recognize you had a problem. Then I remembered my mother, the last months before my parents got divorced she was usually depressed because my father didn't give her any attention and couldn't care less about her needs. I didn't want to end up like that, so I left before taking any chances on going down that road." Sofia explained.

"I understand I was acting like a jerk with you, but was it really necessary to take such an extreme step?"

"If it hadn't been extreme, you would just keep doing the same until there was nothing left between us. And even if you did acknowledge me and try to give me more, you would have kept it to the minimum effort and I would cope with that for a while because of my love for you, but at one point I would wake up to reality and realize that there was no reason to be with you anymore. You had to lose me to learn how important I really am for you. That's why you are here." She smiled happily.

"I don't know what would have happened if you stayed. Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. But it's true that now I know how important you are for me and I won't let go of you again." He said holding her hand.

Sofia reached for his face and brushed her lips over his. "I'm glad you won't. I never wanted to lose you."

"But you were willing to risk it." It was not a question.

"I risked it because I had nothing left. I always hoped you would do the right thing, but if you didn't, I was mentally prepared to tell myself that if you didn't fight for me it was because you weren't the right guy. It would have been hard, but I would get over it eventually, just like I have to get over every time a patient dies in my hands and I know that there was nothing else I could have done."

Kieran stared at her in admiration. "You are a real catch: intelligent, wise, sensitive and on top of that, gorgeous."

Sofia didn't have time to think about an answer because someone knocked on the door. It was room service with dinner. Kieran directed the young buffet steward to the balcony and tipped him when he left.

"I hope you still like fish." He said, uncovering the grilled salmon with garlic potatoes.

"I love it. It smells divine."

They ate with the sun getting lower in the horizon. The city lights were now on. Having dinner on that balcony under the twilight with such an amazing view was the most perfect way to reunite Sofia and Kieran after such a long time apart. They held hands over the table.

"Listen, I want to apologize for that thing with the other girl. It meant nothing to me. It was just a momentary escape that I thought would help me..." Kieran said lowering his eyes with embarrassment, knowing sooner or later she would bring that up.

Sofia gave him a bereft look. "But it didn't, did it?"

"No."

"After being with someone you love, casual sex with random strangers just doesn't feel the same, I suppose."

"You know it doesn't. It was a stupid mistake. I would take it back if I could."

Sofia ignored his last sentence. His honesty was remarkable but she didn't like to think or talk about it and Kieran understood that and changed the subject trying to get her to flash that smile he loved so much.

"Ailish wants to know if you bought her the All Blacks t-shirt."

"Not yet. I totally forgot. I'll get it this cruise. How is she anyway?"

"Fine I guess. You know Ailish. Her life is a party and everything is always okay, as long as the MRI machine works." Kieran replied and Sofia chuckled, remembering Ailish's working dramas.

A few boats sailed past the ship and as the passengers waved, the couple waved back and so did the other passengers enjoying the view from their cabins. A refreshing wind started to blow when the sun disappeared completely.

"So, how is it to work on a cruise ship?" Kieran asked with genuine curiosity.

"It's intense but fun. I'm having a very interesting experience."

"How's the rest of the crew?"

"Well, in general they all suffer from acute Peter Pan syndrome, but they are nice. I've made some great friends."

"Peter Pan syndrome?"

Sofia chuckled at the thought. "Yes. Crew members are like children. They absolutely refuse to grow up. It's funny because on one hand, the vast majority of the crew work many hours, every day for months, with great responsibility and discipline, but on the other hand they are so immature it's hard to believe."

"How come?"

"Everything on ships goes to extremes. Sometimes, things that I would consider important don't seem to matter at all, but then things that I would think as absolutely irrelevant become major life or death deals."

"Sounds like a psychiatrist's dream world." Kieran observed.

"It is. Crew members are much better than those retards that participate in reality shows. Over here morals rarely apply, principles only sometimes, there's an insane level of alcohol consumption and people seem to believe that sex is some kind of sport."

Kieran sighed. "It's a very condensed version of everything that is transforming the rest of the world into a mess without precedents then."

"Yes, only that because it's so condensed, we feel everything deeper, the good things but the bad things as well." Sofia added.

"So, what is it that kept you here? It's obviously not the alcohol, after all you used to live in Ireland, and I hope it's not the meaningless sex."

She frowned. "No, of course it has nothing to do with that. I found this is actually a fascinating world. People from nearly fifty countries work here, with their cultures, beliefs, languages and all sorts of backgrounds. It's very interesting and a fabulous way to learn more about the world and its people. Then, of course there's the traveling. Every day we dock in a different port and it's an opportunity to be in places where otherwise I might never have gone, or even if I did, I wouldn't have seen them with the same eyes. Being a crew member gives everything a very peculiar perspective. But the best thing I found onboard is friendship. Crew members don't have anyone but each other. Of course we have phones and internet, but there's nothing like human contact. The last thing you need after a long day at work is to be reminded that everyone you love is out of reach. That's why we become close to each other and some friendships made onboard create bonds as strong as those between brothers."

"Very interesting. It seems like quite an experience. And I was hoping you would come home with me..." His eyes were on hers. Very direct, a little impatient.

"I will go home in a month, when my contract is over. Then I'll be all yours." She reminded him.

"You being all mine makes me very happy. Waiting a month, doesn't make me happy at all. Why can't you just come with me?" Kieran pressed.

"I'm sorry love, but you will have to be patient. I signed a contract and I don't want to let down this company that has treated me so well, much less the passengers and crew that rely on me to look after them. As a doctor, I'm sure you understand that and you will respect my decision to honor my commitment." Sofia said with a loving but firm tone. "Plus, the anticipation of being with me again will make it all more interesting."

Kieran chuckled and took a sip of wine. "I'm not happy about it, but I wouldn't expect anything else from you. After all, I always liked your sense of responsibility."

"I thought you liked me because I look good in scrubs." She observed.

"You look much better without them." He replied with a suggestive smile.

Sofia answered with a warm grin and put the empty plates back on the tray in the cabin. Seconds later she returned to the balcony with the desserts: a duet of chocolate mousses with raspberry sauce.

"I've only been here a few hours, but if the desserts are always like this I could get used to this life." Kieran pointed as soon as he put the first spoonful in his mouth.

"We have some very talented chefs onboard."

The ship pulled out of port at nine in the evening and the sail away was a show in itself. Sofia sat on Kieran's lap with her arms around his neck in a firm grip and he held her protectively as they said goodbye to the Opera House, the Harbor Bridge and the elegant skyline. A few small boats followed the vessel to Sydney Heads and the Captain blew the horn at the same time they blew theirs. In the balconies, many passengers enjoyed the moment and waved, ready for their own adventures at sea.

Kieran looked to his right and saw an officer with binoculars on the bridge wing. "Can we go up there?"

"To the bridge?" Sofia asked.

"Yes. That must be a cool place to visit. I bet the view is awesome."

"Bridge visits have been forbidden after 9/11. But I'm very well connected. I'm sure I can sort something out." She replied smugly.

"Aren't you important?" He joked and kissed her neck, up her jaw and then her lips.

They spent a little longer in the balcony in companionable silence but as the ship gained speed and reached the high seas it became cold outside and they closed the glass door and moved inside, leaving the curtains open so the moonlight could enter the room and illuminate them with its silver light.

Kieran reached for Sofia with ruthless arms, kissing her again and again until she couldn't breathe. His touch was full of caring and emotion.

Lying on Kieran's arms that night, Sofia wondered how she had survived for so long without him.

He was wide awake not wanting to miss a second with her. Nuzzling his cheek against her hair, he looked over to the slant of moonlight through the window.

"Kieran, when I finish this contract I want you to promise me one thing." She whispered.

He brushed her lips with his. "Anything you want."

"Promise me we will never be apart again. My heart can't take it."

Her words brought his eyes to meet hers. The warmth of her gaze crept under his skin. "I will never let anything get between us again, ever." He sealed his promise with another kiss.

# 23

Sofia couldn't take a full day off but she was able to meet Kieran in Melbourne 360, the trendy observation deck on top of the Rialto building. She arrived a little late and he was getting impatient.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes, pretty great." She agreed, admiring the city. It was a clear day and the view stretched for miles.

"I really have a good impression of this country." Kieran commented.

Sofia nodded. "Australia is amazing. You'll love New Zealand too."

Kieran called a waiter to take their orders and since Sofia couldn't make up her mind they asked for a few different snacks to share.

"So, did you decide on the ship or was it luck?" He enquired with natural curiosity.

"It was just luck. The company has many ships doing different itineraries. I could have been sent anywhere: Caribbean, South America, Mexican Riviera, Europe... but they sent me here and I'm not complaining. The ship is great and I love the itinerary. It's been a wonderful contract."

Kieran looked outside the window for a moment, slightly aloof.

"What's going on?" Sofia asked, noticing his seriousness.

He focused his attention back on her. "I've been thinking, and I believe it's time to do some changes in my life. I've done the successful professional and it's great, but it didn't make me as happy as I expected. I've been feeling empty. I need to find a balance and some peace of mind."

"What do you mean?" She asked, studying his face.

"I mean I've been considering this for a while, and it's time for a change. I want to get out of Ireland. I want to have a normal schedule with less than eighty hours a week so I can also have a life apart from my job." Kieran explained.

Sofia gave him an earnest smile. "I like what I'm hearing so far. Go on."

"My idea is to get a job in another country, preferably where it doesn't rain every day of the year. Maybe get a house in the outskirts of a city or in a town, but definitely a house. I'm sick of being locked in apartments. I want to be able to enjoy nature more, take a weekend off and go somewhere, work normal hours, relax, you know. Live for more than just work. And of course I will only do it if you come with me. That's essential. I really want to do this, but I won't do it without you." He reached for her hand on the table.

Sofia beamed. "Well, you don't have to ask twice. I'll be more than happy to have a nice quiet life with normal hours and adventurous meetings with nature."

Kieran jumped out of his chair and hugged her tight. "I was hoping you would say that."

"You know I would go with you anywhere in this world, don't you?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly.

Kieran went back to his seat when their snacks arrived. He hadn't realized how hungry he really was until he smelled the delicious food.

"Did you think about where you want to go?" Sofia asked with her fingers intertwined on his.

"Not really."

"What about here? I would love to live in Australia. We could live near the Great Barrier Reef and use the free time to see the rest of the country. We could come to Melbourne and Sydney once in a while and even go to New Zealand and the Pacific Islands." Sofia suggested getting more excited as the idea took place in her mind. She was already drawing mental plans even before he agreed.

Kieran looked at her for no longer than a few seconds and considered her idea. "Sounds perfect. Australia it is!" He replied, making her day.

* * *

It was karaoke night in the crew bar and that was almost the same as being purser's night. The pursers loved their karaoke and they took over the microphone as soon as the event started. The front row was all pursers apart from Sofia, Kieran, Albert and Carla, who were happily chatting. Kieran was enjoying the crew bar and the fact that he was allowed to be in a crew area when he was a passenger. It made him feel more special than the other passengers.

Denise had decided to play the happy game and by the smile on her face anyone would say her life couldn't be better.

"Are you really okay?" Sofia asked discretely.

"Do you want the sad truth or a sweet lie?" She replied, maintaining her best smile.

"Always the truth."

"The last time I was this miserable was when my father got a new home, a new wife and left everything else behind including me, but I'll keep pretending I'm as happy as kid in a candy shop until we get to Auckland. It pleases Diego and people leave me alone and don't ask stupid questions." She clarified.

"You're nuts. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?"

"You can keep telling me good things and sharing happy thoughts. It's inspiring. And some sleeping pills would really make my nights."

"All right," she sighed, "come by the medical center tomorrow morning. I'll give you one per night until the end of your contract if you promise you'll be careful and respect the dosage."

"I will, thanks." Denise made a genuine effort to enjoy the night on her dark and twisted way and the doctor kept an eye on her and admired her friend's ability to act.

Sofia thought it was really sad that so often people had to pretend things they didn't really feel and she was grateful that her happiness was real.

Diego and Aaron grabbed the microphones and sang "Radio Ga Ga" from the Queen. Their version turned out to be a slow assassination of the classic, but they managed to make the entire audience laugh.

Since no one had the good sense to get the microphones out of their hands, the two went on singing and murdered a few more tunes before a bar supervisor replaced them and sang something that sounded less aggressive to human ears.

The night continued with different departments showing their talents and a few more people embarrassing themselves until someone from the cruise staff suggested a competition. They nominated a jury with three people that were randomly picked from the audience and the contest began.

After the third performance and with everyone laughing to tears, the crew club president realized that by the way things were going instead of rewarding the best voice, it was best to award the funniest act. That brought more enthusiasm to the many crew members who definitely didn't know how to sing and the next hour and a half was one of the funniest Sofia experienced onboard.

Diego and Aaron went back to their act and this time their chosen song was 'I will survive' by Gloria Gaynor, which was hard enough to sing even for someone with a good voice. Their performance was so hilarious that the audience stood up to applaud.

Albert and Kieran entered the competition with a sad version of Michael Jackson's 'Black and White'. Once more everyone laughed out loud.

While the jury decided who the winner should be, Sofia told Denise about her plans to move to Australia with Kieran.

"You and Kieran made that decision over lunch, just like that?" Denise asked surprised.

"Yes, that's how I like to make decisions. Easy and quick."

"Nice. I wish I could be like that. It always takes me forever to make a decision. I envy you."

Sofia smiled and gave her a quick hug. "Don't. We're all different. You think too much, I act too quickly. It's not always a good thing. I've done some serious mistakes because of being impulsive."

"Balance is the trick." Diego said, listening to the conversation from his seat next to Denise.

"Thanks Mr. Wise. Easier said than done." Sofia replied trying to figure how sober he was and if it made any sense to talk to him at all. He didn't look too bad yet.

"I'm trying to replace Ian from next cruise to the end of my contract." Denise shared with Sofia.

"Night manager?"

"Yes. I haven't done anything this contract except work. Night manager for two cruises would give me some time off ashore and I could try to go to a few places I haven't had the time to see yet."

"That's a great idea."

"Yes, it's just going to be a problem to make it happen. I can't ask Leah. She'll say no to anything that can make me happy. Ian is going to put the request to swap with me. They like Ian. Let's see if they take the bait." She explained.

"Your department is really sad. Why is it all so complicated with you people? It's incredible how everything needs to be planed like a suspense movie."

Denise nodded affirmatively. "It is like that around here, there's nothing I can do to change it. But at least Ian is being a good friend. I hope he succeeds."

"So do I. You could use some distraction, especially when Diego leaves." Sofia looked straight at Diego when she said that but he played distracted and ignored her.

The crew club president announced the winners, and with no surprise Aaron and Diego got the dinner for two in the Italian restaurant.

"Does that mean you two have a date?" Albert snickered.

"Don't go that way doc. He's not my type!" Aaron replied.

"I hope not." His girlfriend declared with a chuckle.

The guys decided to turn it into a boy's night out sometime during the cruise and go for dinner with a group. Diego invited Kieran.

"Sorry doc, we're borrowing him for one night. You can have my girlfriend to entertain you." Diego informed Sofia.

"Do I have a saying in that?" She asked.

"Our decision is made. Live with it."

Sofia pretended to be offended. "Excuse me, Kieran, love, will you say something about this?"

Kieran crossed his arms and smiled at her. "Honey, I'm on holidays. I'm easy."

Sofia gave him a it's-not-worth-the-trouble look and pushed him towards Diego. "He's all yours. Just make sure you bring him back. I don't like to sleep alone."

Diego giggled victorious. "No worries. After dinner, beers, lap dancing and poker I'll give him back to you."

"Don't push it." Sofia hissed.

"It's all fun and games." Diego replied and held his glass to hers.

As much as Sofia had some issues with him, she couldn't help to like Diego. His charming smile and his easy going manner made it easy to forget about his flaws.

"I like your friends." Kieran told his girlfriend when they finally had a chance to be alone in his cabin later that night.

"Yes, they're a nice group."

"I can see why you like it here. It might have some strange aspects, but there's a lot of fun too. I really enjoyed tonight." He said.

Sofia sat on the bed and brushed her hair carefully. "That's the great thing about the crew. Apart from work there's not that much for us to do onboard. We have to use our imagination and enjoy what we have. The cruises are for passengers and their fun has to be ahead of ours, so we become creative. Crew parties are awesome. This cruise you'll get to see a crew disco, and I know Aaron is planning a party in the corridor one of the sea days. He's also leaving next Auckland and this will be like a goodbye for him."

"Can you do parties in the corridors?"

"We shouldn't. But Ian promised to close his eyes until eleven as long as we don't make too much noise."

"There's always a way to break the rules, isn't it?"

"We don't break rules; we only bend them a little bit." Sofia answered and he giggled.

"You people are not normal. Did you realize you behave like college students?"

"Like I told you, Peter Pan syndrome. Normal people have a life, we work on cruise ships." She observed and cuddled in his arms.

It was past two and Sofia knew she had an early morning ahead but she couldn't resist talking to Kieran for a while more. They made some plans for their future life in Australia. It was probably too soon to make any plans at all but the idea of planning was fun and Sofia was happy to see Kieran enthusiastic about something again. Just for that, the thought of moving was already worth it.

"You're going to love New Zealand." She told him.

"What's so special about New Zealand?"

"Everything. Many places are beautiful, but New Zealand is a vast territory with only four million people. A lot of it is still untouched. Did you know there are twenty five sheep for each New Zealander? It's amazing."

Kieran didn't react.

"Kieran?" Sofia glanced at him and found him asleep. She turned off the bedside lamp and closed her eyes. In her dreams she saw them both running on the white sand of the Australian beaches and hiking the mountains of New Zealand together. It was a very happy dream.

* * *

"It worked! Ian got it. I'm going to be night manager." A very excited Denise told Sofia while they were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful landscape of Fiordland. That was the first sign of genuine thrill she had shown in weeks.

Sofia tried to smile and yawn at the same time and the only thing she achieved was a grimace. "That's great. I'm really happy for you."

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted. I have my job and my boyfriend onboard. Between my duties and show him everything and keep him entertained, it's taking the beat out of me. And we still have five days until Auckland."

"Too much going on, isn't it?"

"Yes. It's very hard to do so much and have time to sleep. What about you?"

"The sleeping pills help. Everything else I just try to ignore. I'll deal with it in five days. Countdown..." Denise exemplified by excluding the fingers in her hand into her palm one by one.

Kieran arrived with styrofoam cups full of hot coffee before the girls could finish their conversation.

From the back of the ship on deck 7 they admired the immense waterfall dropping from the cliffs right by the ship. The landscape around it was completely green and there was a soft mist in the air. It was cold and everyone had to wear heavy jackets. Camera flashes everywhere resembled blinking stars in broad day light.

"Wow!" Kieran said amazed. "I'm so glad I came on this trip. This place is unreal."

The deck staff extended the davits and a speed boat was launched with a team of photographers onboard.

"I want copies of those pictures they're going to take." Kieran mentioned to no one in particular.

"I'll get a CD from the photographers." Sofia comforted him and as they hugged, Denise took some pictures of the couple.

Denise's pager started vibrating and she returned from the phone a few minutes later looking happy. "Aaron and Ian are going to join us. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Sofia replied. "We can take some group photos. It would be nice to be photographed with a nice landscape rather than a table full of bottles in the crew bar." She observed with a grin.

As soon as Sofia said that, Aaron and Ian showed up around the corner and Denise hugged Ian.

"My new best friend." She said joyfully.

"Yes, you can say that." He replied. "Did you know they offered me a promotion if I come back here next contract?"

"That's great. Congratulations."

"How come you're awake? Shouldn't you be recovering from the night shift?" Sofia asked Ian.

He took a camera out of his jacket's pocket. "And miss this?" He pointed at the scenario as they sailed right past a waterfall.

"I thought you'd seen it before."

"I have. But it's something I don't mind seeing again and again. Plus I like the light today. It's the kind that makes great pictures."

After a forced fishing afternoon in Dunedin with Albert because Sofia had to work, Kieran was included on a ship's group in the afternoon they docked in Christchurch.

The usual crowd gathered in the shuttle bus to town and even Ian made an effort to stay awake after an entire night working. The bus dropped everyone off in one of the main streets only a few steps away from the square.

"Is this place just like England or what?" Kieran noticed.

"Yes. I think the English people who lived here did it on purpose. They missed home, so they re-created it. The older buildings are totally English style. Look at the church." Aaron pointed at the cathedral.

In the middle of the square, several vendors had tents with art crafts for sale. Scarves, necklaces, bags and candy got people's attention. Everywhere, tourists enjoyed themselves.

"Now, that's what I call an interesting vision." Sofia said out loud and everyone turned around to see what she was talking about.

"Is that dude driving a toilet?" Diego asked, staring at the strange character.

"Yes, see, that must be New Zealand's new technology. It has an engine and everything."

A group of people gathered in a circle surrounding the strange vehicle. It was a metal toilet with an engine attached to the back and there was a guy driving it with a joystick.

Aaron and Denise took pictures. "This is what happens when people have free time and a bit of imagination." He observed with amusement.

The square was like a meeting point in Christchurch with the cathedral, a statue that resembled a gigantic vase of flowers and some traditional buildings. One of them hosted a Starbucks and when Denise suggested a frappuccino everyone approved. The building was gorgeous with its dark red color, arch shaped windows with and a tower and clock in the middle. They relaxed and enjoyed the drinks, observing the movement in the square as the vendors continued their business, some guides talked to their tour groups and various street artists performed for the audience.

When they left Starbucks there was a juggler throwing things high up and telling funny jokes about a former American president that the entire world hated, including many Americans. People gathered around him enjoying the show and when he finished many threw coins into his hat.

Christchurch is a city of contrasts. The old and the new mixed in perfect harmony. There are nice streets and beautiful green gardens, new state of the art offices are side by side with the traditional shops, the birds co-exist with the people and right next to a modern fountain there is an imitation of a Maori carving statue to remind everyone of the country's heritage.

A couple sailed down the river in a Christchurch version of a gondola. The gondolier wearing his panama hat stirred the boat through the river Avon surrounded by lush green bushes and trees.

The group boarded a traditional tram and had a truly enjoyable time on the one hour trip around town. The comments from the driver were informative and entertaining, and since there were several stops and the ticket was valid to hop on and off, they get off in different locations and got a better idea of the city.

"You know one thing that worries me?" Aaron queried.

"Tell us."

"This area is very prone to earthquakes. I'm always a bit scared that one day this could get destroyed."

"I hope not. It is such a wonderful town." Diego replied. "But I guess there is always that possibility, so let's have a fantastic day here."

"That's the thing with good experiences. You never know when they are going to be over." Denise murmured.

Sofia finally bought some All Black souvenirs for Ailish and the afternoon tour ended up in an Irish Pub where they were served great food and Kieran enjoyed himself even more because the decoration reminded him of home. The waiter was told that there was an Irish man there and he called the owner who was originally from Cork. He joined them for a chat. In the end they all got a free pint of Guinness as a courtesy from the friendly host.

"If all days were like this, I wouldn't mind working on a ship." Kieran commented.

"Some days are like this. Most aren't. I would say 90% of the time it's tough to be crew, although at least doctors have days off, we common mortals don't." Diego replied.

"I'll just stick to being a passenger once in a while. I like this cruising thing."

Diego, Denise, Aaron and Ian had to go back to the ship but Kieran and Sofia stayed for a little longer, enjoying the city and doing some shopping.

"So, what are you guys planning for tonight?" Sofia asked Kieran when they were sharing an ice cream by the river.

"According to Albert, we're having dinner in the steak house, and then he wants to have a poker tournament in his cabin."

"What happened to the pole dancing?" She joked.

"I think he couldn't find anyone willing to do it. I heard him poking a dancer but she asked him for two thousand dollars and he changed his mind."

Sofia laughed trying to imagine it. "Smart dancer. I would have asked for ten thousand."

"Would you really do it for ten thousand dollars?" He frowned.

"For you I would do it for free." She teased.

"I'll remember that."

Sofia was relieved with the idea of going to bed early. She was in desperate need of proper rest. With Kieran busy she had a chance to take some time for herself and sleep. Her entire body was accusing the lack of rest. She hadn't been that exhausted since her first week onboard.

It was after three o'clock in the morning when Kieran came in. Sofia was deep asleep and only woke up because he didn't turn on the lights and went against a dresser.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked sleepy.

"Sorry. Little accident. I didn't want to wake you." Kieran dropped his clothes on the floor, brushed his teeth quickly and joined her in bed.

"How was the night?"

"Great. I won the poker game."

Sofia was awake now. "What did you win?"

"I won a day off for you next port."

"Seriously? You won a day off for me playing poker?"

"Yes. And I also won Diego's fake Breitling watch and Aaron's sun glasses."

"Wow. Make sure you return those treasures before you go home." She mocked him. "How did you convince Albert to bet a day off for me?"

"The other things he had were expensive. Giving you a day off was cheaper."

"Nice." She answered closing her eyes again, too drowsy to be sure if that conversation was real.

Sofia had strange dreams throughout the night, with people jumping out of cliffs, a table full of items that were too alive to be considered food and the guy driving the toilet also came up at one point. Dreams were a strange world.

# 24

Only two days before the end of the cruise everything was as normal as the word could be applied onboard a ship.

In the wardroom, where a small group of people from different departments enjoyed a few drinks before dinner, Eli, the deputy cruise director who was normally the happiest person onboard and a real party animal, didn't look too pleased. Sofia heard when she mentioned the reason for her frustration.

"Tomorrow night is the International Crew Show and I'm missing two acts. One girl from the shops resigned and went home yesterday and my best singer is sick. Where am I going to find someone to fill in so short notice?" She sounded very frustrated.

"What exactly is that show about?" Kieran asked with Sofia sitting on his lap wondering the same. She had been very distracted from the entertainment list lately.

"Every cruise we do a show for the passengers performed by crew members with various jobs. None of them is a professional entertainer. Just people who are good at something; singing, dancing, telling jokes, whatever..." She explained. "It's very popular. Passengers love it."

Sofia listened and then she had an idea. "Wait here. I'll be right back." She told Kieran and left him in the company of Andrea, Diego and Ian.

She paged Denise but her friend didn't reply. The reception confirmed she had already left the office and there was no answer when she knocked on her cabin door. Sofia took the elevator to deck 15 and as soon as she opened the door to the wedding chapel there she was, wavy blond hair falling down her shoulders and the small hands dancing on the keys producing a beautiful sound.

"I knew I would find you here."

Denise stopped playing and lifted her head slowly. "I needed to be alone, to think..."

"I know my dear. I actually just wanted to ask you something and then I'll leave you with the piano." Sofia said and closed the door behind her.

"What's up?"

"Eli is in the wardroom complaining that she's missing people to perform in the International Crew Show tomorrow night. I thought maybe you would like to play for the passengers and help the cruise staff. They've been so nice to us."

"But you promised you wouldn't tell anyone..." Denise whined.

"I didn't. That's why I came to see you." Sofia explained patiently, knowing that her friend's judgment was badly affected by her wrecked nervous system.

"S-sorry." Denise stuttered. "I got the wrong idea."

"I know what you are going through, it's okay. What about the show? What do you think?" Sofia pushed in a casual manner.

"You know I'm not keen on playing in public. I haven't done it in years. I'm not even sure I can do it anymore."

"Look, this could be a great opportunity for you. If something goes wrong, the day after they go home and they won't even remember your name, plus passengers are not expecting a professional so you can only be a good surprise. Either way, you will find out if you can still perform for a big audience. And I think Diego should have a chance to hear you play at least once before he goes home, don't you agree?" Sofia suggested.

Denise thought about it for a while before she gave an answer. "I don't know. I've been so nervous lately. What if I make a mistake?"

Sofia shook her head in disapproval. "Denise, you are a wonderful pianist. I've seen you play with your eyes closed. Show everyone your talent. They deserve it and so do you."

Denise sighed. "You're good. You should think about a career in politics."

"Never in my life!" She replied grinning. "Does that mean you'll do it?"

"Page Eli and tell her to meet us here; make sure she comes alone."

The deputy cruise director arrived less than ten minutes later, wondering what the big mystery was. Sofia explained that Denise could play piano and she was willing to perform.

"You? Really?" Eli asked, dumbfounded.

Rather than answering, Denise simply played for her during a few minutes. Eli had to sit down because what she was listening to was just too much for her legs. When Denise finished her Bach's Minuet, Eli applauded vividly. Sofia smiled from her chair.

"That's unbelievable! All this time you were here and I didn't know you could play? There must be something wrong with me. And why did you hide that from us?" She queried.

Denise replied with a bashful smile. "Because playing is the only thing I can do for myself onboard."

"I see... And you're okay to play tomorrow night? It would be awesome to have you in the show."

Denise nodded. "I will but promise me you will keep it a secret until I get on stage. That's my only condition."

Eli smiled earnestly, interpreting her request has shyness. "Of course. I promise."

"Deal." Denise answered politely but without emotion.

Eli left and before she closed the door she turned around and thanked Denise one more time. Alone again, Denise and Sofia talked a little until Sofia remembered she had left Kieran in the wardroom.

"It's okay. As long as he's in the company you left him with, he should be fairly safe."

"I know, but we should go anyway. I could use a drink and so could you."

"Why not? I already had more alcohol this contract than I normally have in three years. A bit more won't make any difference."

When the girls entered the wardroom there were a lot more people than before and a lot more smoke as well. Sofia was not happy with that. She became very suspicious when she saw Kieran playing darts with Diego.

"I'm so glad he's only here for one cruise. That shouldn't be enough to get him addicted to that stupid game!"

Denise gave her a crooked smile. "I wouldn't be so sure."

During dinner Sofia casually proposed that all of them got together to see the crew show tomorrow night.

"Why?" Aaron asked.

"Because it will be fun and we have nothing better to do."

"I want to see it too." Kieran added, not aware of how much he was helping. "I'm only here for one cruise and I don't want to miss anything."

"Why not? The show is not that late and we can have goodbye drinks afterward." Diego suggested, happy to do something different.

Denise lowered her eyes to the table and abstained from commenting. She was secretly happy to have them there when she performed.

Sofia went for a walk with her friend on the promenade deck after dinner while the guys returned to the wardroom.

It was a chilly night and they both wrapped their arms around their bodies to keep warm. The sky above was totally clear, with yellow stars creating swirling shapes against the black.

"Beautiful." Sofia said. "It never seizes to amaze me."

"Magnificent." Denise corrected between her teeth.

Sofia leaned against the railing with her back to the sea. "Are you sure you're okay with tomorrow night? I don't want you to do it just because I asked."

"I'm sure. I can pull it out. It's just a few minutes playing." She replied with her heart racing just at the mere thought of it.

Sofia gave her a tight hug. "I want to tell you that I'm really proud of you, no matter how you play tomorrow night. You're a fantastic person Denise."

The purser supported her head on her friend's shoulder briefly and sighed. She felt her entire body going numb and her mind drifting away and that was good. She enjoyed the idea of losing herself.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Sofia nodded.

"How does it feel to be loved?"

"It's the best feeling ever. Knowing that for Kieran I'm the most important person in the world and that if he could pick anyone to be with I would be his choice without a shadow of a doubt makes me feel... complete. I was always fine and happy even when I was alone but there was some sort of emptiness. Now that void is gone."

"Wow." Denise murmured. "That must be pretty great. I wonder if I will ever feel like that too."

Sofia turned around to the ocean and Denise leaned against a life raft right next to her. The doctor put her right arm around her friend's shoulder and smiled.

"Sure you will. Think about all the bad experiences you had before as a sort of training. When you find real love, you'll remember all of this and that will make you appreciate it a lot more."

"I hope so." Denise snorted.

* * *

Tauranga marked the last day of the cruise and this time Sofia didn't have to do anything because Kieran had organized the day for them and she was happy to just being told where to go for a change.

Kieran's plan was a visit to Orakei Korako Cave and Thermal Park, also known as the Hidden Valley, located between Taupo and Rotorua and one of its particularities is only being accessed by boat.

Even though the cave and the park received so many visitors, the hidden valley had not been spoiled and it kept the beauty and serenity that made it known worldwide.

Like any geothermal site, the smell was intense, particularly near the geysers and the pools. The Silica Terraces that are base to the park are believed to be the largest of their kind ever since the Pink and White terraces disappeared in 1886 after an eruption. Sofia recalled reading that Orakei Kokaro was possibly the best thermal area in New Zealand and one of the finest in the world.

There were about twenty three active natural geysers in the area and a large number of boiling hot springs and mud pools.

At a first glance, the park reminded of those spiritual retreat locations where people go to find themselves and meditate. There were big trees and the wind produced a soothing sound between the leaves.

Beautiful was not enough to describe the vision of the Rainbow Terrace. In the middle of the green vegetation and tall trees that peek over the surrounding hills, the mixed colors of the lake resembled a landscape from another planet. Steam came out from different locations and different shades of orange and blue announced the intense volcanic activity. The footpath went right around it and into different sites from there.

The fleece was another fascinating feature. It resembled a waterfall that froze suddenly; only this one wasn't made of ice, but other types of minerals, similar to the ones that can be seen in caves. The pools also had a white color but the water underneath was clear as crystal.

"I wonder what could possibly live in those waters."

"Fish with two heads?" Kieran snickered. "I guess only some bacteria. Nothing else could survive. Even this smell is hard to stand." Kieran observed as they made their way to the entrance of the Ruatapu Cave.

"I'm so glad you came. This few days with you have been fabulous. I can't wait for us to move to Australia and start a new life together." Sofia said jumping childishly over the rocks.

"I'm glad I came too." Kieran made a pause to kiss her.

The cave extended 120 feet down to the hot pool in the bottom, known as the pool of mirrors. There were only three other visitors there and they disappeared up the steps up a few minutes later, leaving Kieran and Sofia alone. The couple had a rest on one of the pinkish rocks.

"About us moving to Australia together, I wanted to tell you something." Kieran said with a solemn tone.

"What? Is anything wrong?"

"No. I just wanted to tell you I love you and that I don't want you to move there as my girlfriend. I want us to start our new life as husband and wife." He said looking deep into her eyes.

Sofia stared at him bewildered. "Are you proposing?!"

"Well, I didn't buy you a ring yet and we're in the bottom of a cave wearing sweaty t-shirts and shorts, but if you can ignore all that I guess I am, yes. I'm asking you to marry me. Will you?"

Her surprise was so complete she didn't know how to put words together to give him an answer. She looked at him with her heart racing in her chest. When she could finally offer a response the best she could manage was a nod and a nervous but firm "yes".

When he reached out and touched her, pulling her lips to his, nothing else mattered, only the two of them and the immense love they felt for each other.

Most of her life Sofia hadn't worried if she would ever get married or not. She was happy with what she had and made the best of what life threw at her. Falling in love with Kieran had been a surprise. With him she felt in a way she didn't even know she was capable off and once she had experienced that, nothing made her more afraid than the idea of losing him and what they shared.

She had been in a few relationships and had almost made the mistake of marrying the wrong person. Her previous boyfriends had all been very dear to her or she wouldn't have considered dating them because she simply wasn't that kind of person, but with Kieran she had experienced something unique: real love. It was something she didn't know she needed until she found out what was like to have it and after that she could no longer imagine living without it.

She knew she was capable of surviving; after all, many people do, but without that feeling of completeness she would never be able to feel truly alive again. Kieran had given her more than she ever expected to have and she wanted to have that for the rest of her life. Nothing could possibly make her happier than becoming his wife.

* * *

The theater was packed with passengers waiting to see what the crew had prepared for them. All the way in the back, Aaron, Kieran, Sofia, Carla and Diego had to stand up because there were no seats left. Denise gave the excuse she had something to finish in the office and would meet them later. The day before turnaround no one found that strange.

Around eight thirty Eli came on stage holding a microphone. She welcomed the audience, made a few jokes and then introduced the first performer: Tiago, a Brazilian photographer who played guitar and sang a couple of popular American songs. A pair of Argentinean waiters danced a tango and then there was a juggler from Canada who worked for the production department and a Filipino cook with a fantastic voice. A few more performances followed, including an Indian dishwasher who put on a dancing act that impressed everyone because he was so flexible it looked like he was made of rubber. The passengers all seemed to be having a wonderful time judging by the applauses.

More than one hour passed and Eli returned to the stage. Sofia started to think that maybe Denise had changed her mind when the deputy cruise director spoke again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's last performer was as much a surprise for me as I'm sure will be for you. On the piano, please welcome, Denise Kilner, our lovely front desk supervisor." Eli announced cheerfully and everyone clapped.

Denise came on stage wearing a long sleeveless black dress and her hair pulled back on a pony tail. The dress made her look taller and very elegant. Under the stage's lights she looked absolutely stunning. If she was nervous, her confident expression denied it perfectly.

She played beautifully and perfectly. When she finished and walked to the front of the stage the audience applauded standing. In unison they shouted one more. Denise played another two pieces and stopped when Eli gave her the sign from behind the stage.

The show was an incredible success and Denise listened to the applauses with surprise. It didn't feel real. The lights didn't allow her to see past the first two rows and she had no idea that all the way on the top, by the exit door, her boyfriend was turning his back and walking out discretely.

She made her way out of the theater through the door on the deck below still feeling a little nervous with her first public appearance after so many years, but happy she had the courage to do it. As soon as she reached the last step, holding her dress to prevent her from tripping, she saw him, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes on hers.

Denise looked at Diego and tried to make a mental picture of that moment. He looked wonderful in his black suit, his face barely illuminated by the low lights of the staircase. That was how she wanted to remember him when he left: handsome, sober and somehow unreachable.

"Congratulations. That was beautiful. Hidden talent?" He asked casually.

If it had hurt him that she kept that from him, he didn't show it at all.

"We all have hidden talents, remember?" She replied, her voice cold because she couldn't keep it out of her mind that he was leaving the next day.

Diego looked at her in the eyes for a moment. Her makeup was darker than usual but it highlighted the blue in her eyes and Diego loved her eyes. Her dress was a high contrast with her pale skin and she looked stunning wearing it. It looked like it had been designed especially for her.

"I'm sorry I never taught you how to dance salsa." He murmured.

"I'm sorry I never told you I could play piano."

He smiled and remembered Sofia's words you are what you do, not what you say. He offered his arm and caressed her hand.

"Would you like to come with me for a drink? Aaron is offering. Apparently he has many bottles left in his cabin."

Denise took his hand and made the two floors down to deck 4 in silence. She would have preferred something more intimate, but with so many people leaving and Sofia's sudden engagement, it would have been selfish not to be there for her friends. Tonight, like in so many other nights before, it was not about her and she was satisfied that she could share somebody else's happiness. That was a nice way to end a beautiful night.

Everyone complimented her as soon as they entered Aaron's cabin. Denise wasn't looking for attention, but if felt good to be appreciated. It was also then that she started thinking that maybe Sofia was right and she should make better use of her ability as a musician.

At midnight the clock announced the longest twenty four hours in Denise's life. Sitting on the bed, Diego observed her taking off her dress and changing into her silky sleeping gown. She dropped off the dress on the chair distractedly.

"You know, I would have liked you to play for me some time. Why didn't you tell me?"

Denise looked at him with the same strength and coldness that had helped her survive so far and decided that he needed a politically correct answer rather than the truth.

"We all keep things to ourselves." She answered vaguely.

He rose without answering, picked a CD and turned on the player. "Dance with me." He asked, removing the chair from the way.

"That's salsa. I don't know the steps."

He pulled her against him, put his left arm around her back and held her right hand. "I'll teach you."

They moved effortlessly to the pace of the drums and the Latin voices and Denise followed Diego's moves. It wasn't that hard. She felt numb, almost as if she didn't belong in her own world anymore. They danced for a little while and then Diego held her in a tight hug and buried his face in her hair. She smelled great. He was going to miss her smell, her small body against his, the touch of her lips. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry for breaking her heart, for not being who she had expected him to be, but he couldn't get the words out so he just kept holding her until she parted from him and went to the bed they were going to share for the last time.

# 25

Denise's worst nightmare became reality at six o'clock in the morning in Auckland. She had always known the day would come and there was no way to avoid it. It was time to say goodbye.

Her night had been passed in blank. In the morning she stayed in bed a little longer while he was getting ready. She avoided turning on the lights, knowing the bags under her eyes were huge and her face looked very tired.

Diego put his clothes on in silence and still in her sleeping gown, Denise stood up and faced him in the dusky light.

"This is it..." He said in a whisper, with his backpack ready next to the door and his brown jacket on the back of the chair.

"I guess so." The muscles in her stomach quivered, but not her voice.

"I know I don't have the right to ask you anything, but there is something I need to ask you."

Denise nodded and didn't reply. She waited to hear what he had to say.

He left out a long breath as she remained standing in front of him. "Please remember the good moments."

She stared at him without saying a word and her silence bothered him. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Her heart raced and she put her left hand over her chest like that could slow it down.

"It was very nice being with you." He added.

"Please go." She asked, desperately wanting to put an end to that torture and thinking that was the lamest thing she had ever heard in her life.

Diego turned around gloomily and closed the door behind him. As soon as she heard the lock, Denise burst in tears and cried compulsively. Her sobs were loud and uneven. She felt like someone stabbed her so deeply she could feel the imaginary blade sticking out of her back.

She threw herself on the bed and hid her head on the pillows. When her heart finally slowed down to a more even rhythm she took a deep breath and wept all she needed. Then she washed her face with cold water, put on her uniform with her hands shaking and did her best to arrange her makeup well enough to create a mask so people wouldn't understand what an emotional wreck she was. She put on a pair of earrings, a bit of perfume and took another deep breath before she made her way to the back office.

She arrived a few minutes late but this time Leah didn't say much when she walked in.

"Good morning Denise." She greeted politely.

With almost three thousand passengers to disembark before eleven and half a new team arriving, Denise couldn't take time to herself. On ships, personal life stays in the cabin. The front desk supervisor couldn't afford to think about her feelings on turnaround day. Duty came first and with that in mind she walked into the reception area greeting people and smiling, putting all her strength together to face the inquisitive looks of everyone who knew her boyfriend had just left. Worse than the pain was the looks of pity from colleagues and she was determined to avoid those.

When she sat in front of the computer the one person she would never be able to fool arrived, returning from the hotel director's office. Ian only had to look at her once. He squatted by the side of her chair and whispered his favorite Mark Twain words in her hear: "Dance like nobody's watching; sing like nobody is listening, live like it's heaven on earth, love like you've never been hurt."

For a brief moment she didn't react but then her lips blossomed into a shy smile that carried above all, gratitude.

They both stood up and he held her tight against his chest, feeling her hard breathing. Denise fought the tears that were burning her eyes.

"I think I'm going to take you for breakfast." Ian offered kindly.

"Leah is going to be upset."

"No, she won't." He affirmed automatically.

He pulled her by the hand and as they passed by the front office manager's door he peaked inside. "Leah, I'm taking Denise for some food, okay?"

She lifted her head from the credit card slips she was looking at. "Sure. Enjoy."

"Wow." Denise muttered.

"You know, Leah is not on the run for miss congeniality, but she's not as bad as you think either."

She glanced at him for a second. "I could argue with you about that, but not today." Instead, she took his arm and remained close to him while they walked downstairs to deck 4.

When they passed by the open gangway she looked outside right on time to have a last glimpse of the tall young man wearing a brown jacket and a gray backpack, walking away towards the bus that was taking the leaving crew to the airport.

Denise survived the day the best she could, grateful that it had been so busy because that gave her the distraction she needed. At seven o'clock in the evening, when she was about to shut down her computer and take some time to get the horrible grief out of her compressed chest Sabrina, a recent acquisition from Austria, came in with a very upset face.

"Hi Denise. I know you were leaving but I really need help with a passenger. He's giving me such a hard time..." She said with a broken voice.

It seemed like someone was not having a good first day onboard.

"What is it? What did he tell you?"

"He's a dark skinned guy, very big, and he wants a room with a bath because the shower is too small for him. I told him we are sailing full but he won't believe me and he said he wants to talk to someone else because I'm a Nazi."

Denise's eyes nearly popped out. "He called you a Nazi?"

"Yes." Sabrina confirmed.

"In those exact words?"

She nodded affirmatively.

The front desk supervisor had a quick look next door. Leah was gone and that was good news. Denise paged someone and Sabrina's eyes met hers with an inquisitive expression.

"Can you talk to him? You're from Switzerland. You're supposed to be neutral." She asked.

"No. I think we can do better than that."

"Who did you page?" She enquired.

"Chris. Our new assistant night manager. He should be on his way to start his shift anyway."

"But he's from Germany!" Sabrina observed confused.

"Precisely. Now please go tell Mr. Racist that your supervisor will be with him shortly. And don't mention the nationality."

Sabrina got the point and left with a smirk.

As soon as Chris came in Denise orders were very clear. "Make sure he reads Germany in your name badge. When he gets either very angry or really embarrassed, call me." She said.

Chris was more than happy to do that. He didn't like racism and Nazi was just about the worst thing someone could ever call him.

Her idea worked and not even ten minutes later she met the angry passenger, who insisted that Sabrina and Chris refused to give him another room because of his skin color. Denise looked at him incredulously for a moment. The man was over six feet tall and as wide as a door. No wonder he wouldn't fit in the shower. What he really needed was a pool.

"Sir," She said very politely and kept her voice low, "I believe you have already been advised that we are sailing full and we don't have any suites available. Suites are the only rooms with baths."

He gave her a killer look. "You're with them, aren't you? I want to speak to your supervisor. Call him." He demanded bitterly.

"I AM the supervisor. There is no one else you can speak to. My supervisor will be in at eight tomorrow morning. You can talk to HER then."

He started to understand that things weren't going to work the way he was expecting and became impatient.

"There has to be someone I can talk to." The passenger insisted.

"Like I said, eight o'clock tomorrow morning. Meanwhile you can talk to whoever else you like, but I can promise you nothing is going to change. And please, don't ever insult one of my team members again." She advised, this time sounding threatening enough for him to get the point.

He left the front desk mumbling something that sounded like a train of profanities. Before heading back to her cabin, Denise left Ian a note asking him to make sure that the passenger would not receive an upgrade, even if the grand suite became suddenly available. She didn't want to reward his abusive behavior and allow him to think it was acceptable.

After a very long day Denise finally made it to her empty room on deck 4. She didn't know exactly what she was feeling at that point. There was only numbness, physical and emotional, when she dropped her clothes on the floor and turned on the shower. A moment later her tears were flowing as fast as the water running from the shower head.

She thought about the many times she had shared that shower with Diego and how wonderful each of them had been, how warm his hands used to feel, how protective he was when she was in his arms. Her sobs were violent and painful. She tried hard to control herself but she couldn't so she just kept crying until she had no more tears. When she was feeling relieved and breathing normally again she got out of the shower.

Sofia knocked on the door, concerned. Between saying goodbye to Kieran and the work during the day, it hadn't been possible to see how her friend was doing and a phone call didn't seem appropriate.

Denise opened the door, wrapped in a bath towel, the redness in her eyes standing out on her pale face.

"Come in." She invited and closed the door. Then she sat on the bed and tried to brush her tangled hair.

Sofia sat next to her and tried to picture what was going through her mind. "How was your day?" She enquired, feeling stupid for asking that question.

Denise took a moment, like she was analyzing the question and looking for the appropriate answer. "After Diego left this morning I managed to work twelve hours in a row. I don't really know how my day was, but I'm glad I made it with my head up. I've never tried drugs but I'm pretty sure being high must feel just like this: totally surreal."

Sofia held her friend's hand and looked her in the eyes. "No one should ever have to go through what you are feeling right now. How are you, for real? Tell me truth, I won't judge you."

"For the past two months I've been torturing myself, anticipating this day, sad and lonely. Now it's finally over. My heart is in more pieces than a jigsaw puzzle. I'm falling apart, but at least it's over. It's going to take a long time to fix me, but it's good to know I don't have illusions or hopes left to hold on to. I can finally let go." She murmured.

Sofia glanced at her, admiring the courage and dignity she was showing. "You are truly an outstanding person Denise Kilner."

Denise nodded negatively. "No, I'm not. I'm just a survivor. What about you? Missing your fiancé?"

"Yes, but I'll see him soon." Sofia answered with a smile.

Denise rose and put on a clean uniform. "You know what we should do?"

"Tell me."

"You could make use of those shinny stripes on your shoulders and get us a table in the steakhouse. I need some red meat, good wine and some girl talk to distract me."

Sofia immediately picked up the handset and made a reservation. It was not difficult at all. Normally on the first night of the cruise the theme restaurants were not so busy and the head waiter arranged them a table straight away.

While Denise finished her grooming Sofia noticed a small leather necklace with a shark tooth pendant on the desk next to a pile of books.

"Is that Diego's necklace?" She asked.

"Yes. He forgot it in the bathroom this morning. It's funny, you know, all this time he never gave me anything and it never bothered me not to receive presents because all I wanted was him. Now all I have left is that necklace." Denise observed, wrapping the leather around her fingers. "I think I'm going to keep it for now, a recuerdo like they say in Spain."

Sofia rolled her eyes heavenwards. "I think you need a life! Let's go. There's some tasty food waiting for us." She said, wondering what kind of person dates someone for months and never once offers her at least a small gift to remember them.

"I hope they still have that Australian Shiraz I love." Denise said when they entered the elevator.

"Is that the one that costs 70$ a bottle?"

"That one."

"I guess you're entitled tonight." Sofia smirked and tapped her friend's shoulder.

A smiling waiter received them by the door and gave the girls a table in a privileged location by the window, an honor normally only given to passengers. The head waiter approached with two menus under his arm.

"Welcome ladies. I reserved this table especially for you. It's a pleasure to have such beautiful clients. Mauro will be serving you tonight, and let me know if you need anything at all." He said with a hospitable tone.

The two friends thanked him and ordered their meals, happy with the attention and the compliments. It was nice to be pampered once in a while.

Denise finished her first glass of wine and as soon as she started cutting the filet-mignon on her plate, her eyes captured something she really didn't want to see. With her back to the door, Sofia didn't get it right away.

"Do I look pretty?" Denise asked like it was a matter of life or death.

"Yes, you look beautiful. Why?"

"Don't look back now, but the snake squad just came in and I want to make sure I look gorgeous and happy. I'm not going to give them the pleasure to see me hurting." She snorted.

Sofia smiled and nodded in agreement. "I'm sure one of them is Leah. Who are the other snakes?"

"The first purser, Elaine, and Kate, of course. What a group. I would say it's a match made in hell." Denise observed.

Sofia poured more wine into her glass. "Didn't you tell me that Elaine and Kate don't like each other?"

"They don't, but when you're a backstabbing bitch it's all part of the game."

"That's not healthy."

"It's not healthy for the little creatures like me. I'm sure they're immune to their own poison." Denise pointed out and Sofia chuckled.

Already tipsy, they ordered another bottle of wine and Denise started feeling lighter and happy, one of the perks of consuming too much alcohol. She observed with satisfaction when her supervisors sat across the room and she wouldn't have to finish her meal looking at them.

"I hope they choke!" She wished with an evil grin.

"No, you don't. If they choke I'll have to take care of them, and that would spoil our night."

"Well observed. All right, I hope they have a lovely dinner and that they all wake up with a horrible diarrhea tomorrow." Denise added, laughing at her own idea.

"You're helpless!" Sofia said in amusement.

Both of them started laughing and only stopped when the waiter asked them if they would like dessert. They were more than full but there was always space for a little more and the menu was quite irresistible.

Denise ordered a chocolate soufflé to complete her sinful evening and Sofia picked the cheesecake. The desserts tasted great and when they finished the doctor caressed her stomach with round movements.

"Oh my God, I'm so drunk and so full I'm going to need wheelchair assistance to get out of here!"

Denise poured the rest of the second bottle into the glasses. "Wheelchair seems like a really good idea."

The two friends said goodbye to the lovely staff and took the first elevator they could find. It was better to wobble on deck 4 than in front of passengers. Sofia stopped by the door of Denise's cabin and asked her if she would like for her to sleep over.

"No, it's very kind of you but I'm so drunk that I won't be able to feel anything. I'm just going to wash up, brush my teeth and go to bed."

Sofia gave her a tight, almost maternal hug that filled her heart with emotion. "Please call me if you don't feel well."

"I will." She promised.

As soon as Denise turned on the lights in her cabin she immediately noticed the huge bouquet of flowers on her desk. Her first thought was that they were from Diego and she smiled with a twinge of satisfaction. She opened the little envelope to read the message.

"Dear Denise, it was such a pleasure to meet you. You are a wonderful person and I'm very happy Sofia has such a great friend onboard. Thank you for making my cruise so enjoyable. Kieran"

She read the note one more time sitting on the bed because she was too drunk to stand up. Her brain was not in its best shape but she could still process enough to realize that someone who had only met her for a few days thought about sending her flowers, while someone who had slept with her for months couldn't do better than saying it was nice being with her. She felt the tears running down her face again and the sobs coming out of her throat. Could she possibly still have any tears left and how had she been able to fall in love with someone like Diego in the first place?

"I must be really stupid!" She murmured in the empty room. All over her, the cabin walls seemed to be closing in and she felt like she was suffocating for a moment. She removed her clothes, her makeup and washed her face under running water. When her head hit the soft pillow all she could feel was emptiness.

* * *

The second day of the cruise marked the transition for Ian and Denise. She stopped working at noon to start the night shift at eleven in the evening and he started working as front desk supervisor at three in the afternoon. The fact that they already knew how to do the jobs made the process smooth and quick. Still concerned, Ian made his colleague promise she would call him if something wasn't going well for her.

"Yes dad." Denise replied with a crooked smile.

"Will you be okay?"

"Sure. I can handle it. It's not rocket science." She said, trying to inject a little happiness into her voice.

"I wasn't talking about work. You know nights can be boring and lonely."

She gave him a grateful look but dismissed his worries. "I'm used to boring and lonely."

Since it was the first time in the entire contract she had more than three hours to enjoy herself, Denise invited Sofia to go ashore for lunch and have a stroll on the beach afterward. It was so refreshing to leave the ship with more than two hours to enjoy the port.

Initially Sofia suggested they should invite a few more people but her friend didn't feel ready to socialize yet.

"Did you sleep anything last night?" Sofia enquired.

"After a full bottle of Shiraz even I can sleep. I was knocked out. It was better than the sleeping pills."

"You didn't take them together, did you?" The doctor asked seriously concerned.

"No mom." Denise joked. "I'm getting more worries from you and Ian than from my own family."

"That's because you keep telling your family you're fine when you're just the opposite of fine."

"Not really. I told my mom some details. She wasn't happy."

Sofia's cell phone rang that exact moment and by the size of her smile it was not hard to guess who was calling. Denise gave a quick glance at her own phone. There were no calls for her; not even a text message.

"How is he?" She asked when Sofia hung up.

"Fine. He just arrived home."

"I should have thanked him for the flowers."

"Flowers?"

"Last night when I arrived from dinner there was a bouquet of flowers on my desk, from Kieran, thanking me for the little perks I arranged for him during the cruise. It was very sweet of him." Denise explained.

"And considering your face I'm guessing you were expecting the flowers to be from someone else." She guessed.

"Don't get me wrong, but yes. Kieran was wonderful and I really appreciate his gesture but it's just..."

"...you would be happier if the gesture came from Diego." Sofia finished the sentence for her.

Denise nodded affirmatively.

"Listen my dear, that only adds to the pile of reasons why you should be happy that he's out of your life. As a friend, I liked Diego. He was great fun. As a boyfriend, let's just say you're better off single. Leaving you was a favor he did to you."

Denise looked at her inquisitively. "Why?"

Sofia had a sip of her sparkling water and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. "People say that opposites attract and that might be true with magnets but in a relationship you need a few things in common to glue you together. You and Diego were missing that connection, it would never have worked. He is a simple guy and you my friend, are the opposite of simple."

"Are you saying that Diego didn't want to stay with me because I'm complicated?" Denise asked with a bleak voice.

Sofia sighed. "No, you're not complicated. You are complex, too complex for someone like him. Think about this: Diego is someone who is happy with little things; his world is perfect if he has his moments of fun and his professional achievement. He knows he can't change the world so he does the next best thing: enjoys himself. You, on the other hand, can't let go. You don't accept something just being average, or just good enough. You are always thinking, always looking for alternatives, always one step ahead. That's a great thing and I know if everyone were like you this world would be a much better place, but that's also what sets you apart from people like Diego who don't care. He would never be able to understand you. You're just not right for each other."

Denise grimaced. "My heart doesn't agree with you yet, but you just made my ego really happy."

They walked side by side towards the sea and got their feet wet. The afternoon was beautiful. Many people enjoyed the beach, including a few familiar faces from the ship. The two friends took a seat on the white sand and breathed in the refreshing sea breeze. It was one of the warmest days they had experienced in Tauranga and Sofia wanted to take a nap on her beach towel.

The background sound of waves crashing and the children laughing sounded like music to Denise, who closed her eyes and let herself float in an imaginary world where the clouds smelled like cotton candy and the trees turned into vanilla ice cream... She could almost feel the flavor but suddenly her imagination was cut off.

"Denise? Is that you?" A voice asked from above.

She opened her eyes and blinked a few times before the shadow standing in front of her started to look like a person.

"Tom?" She blinked again. "Tom Gibson?"

He looked at her with a big smile. "Yes, I knew that had to be you." He said as she got up and gave him a tight hug.

Tom was an average size guy, not too tall, not built enough to be considered athletic. He had brown hair and his kind blue eyes added to a very warm smile and transmitted Sofia a good first impression. She observed them and waited for someone to remember she was there.

Denise told her that Tom worked in the security department and they were old acquaintances from another ship. Denise mentioned with a happy grin that when she worked at the reception on the night shift he used to bring her peanut butter cookies from the buffet every night and they talked for hours before the front desk became busy with passengers.

Sofia shook Tom's hand and was grateful that he made Denise smile, even if it was only a shy smile. Whoever Tom was, he obviously made her feel good.

"So, did you just join the ship?" Sofia asked, trying to start a casual conversation.

"Yes, I arrived yesterday. So, what are you two doing at the moment?"

"Sofia is the ship's doctor and I'm starting night manager today." Denise replied.

"Really? I'm going to be on nights for a while. Maybe we could get some more cookies." He suggested with a wink.

Half an hour later and after some pep talk, Tom had to return onboard and the two friends were left alone again.

"What was that about? Tom looks very close to you." Sofia observed.

"Don't start. Tom is a wonderful friend, but that's it."

"Does he know that?"

"Yes, he does. Tom and I always got along very well and he knows there won't be anything further than friendship. Plus, I only have two cruises left and my heart is so badly broken it will take me a long time to even look at another guy that way." Denise clarified.

"Well, he seems to be a good person, and if he can keep your mind away from negative Spanish thoughts, much better." Sofia affirmed joyfully.

The water was really cold but Denise couldn't resist and went in for the quickest swim in history. She came back to the towel shivering and dried her body as fast as she could.

"I'm guessing the water is cold, right?" Sofia asked.

"Freezing."

"It's not like I didn't tell you. But someone had to go and check full body..." Sofia snorted.

There were still some adventurers in despite the temperatures, and not far away some surfers enjoyed the waves in the protection of their wet suits.

After a relaxing afternoon, Sofia went to work and Denise made an effort to sleep with the help of a pill. The transition from day to night was hard to adjust to and she knew it would take a few days to get her body clock back on track but she was looking forward to the time off in the ports. She owed it to herself to have a good time.

"Hallo chef!" Chris greeted in German from behind the desk where he was carefully checking passenger's accounts.

Denise noted his light blond hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was happy to be greeted in a language she didn't have a chance to speak that often. He extended her a cup with cappuccino and some sugar as soon as she moved to her chair.

"Danke". She replied with a smile.

"Ian told me it is part of my job to fetch the night manager a cappuccino every night just before the lobby bar closes." Chris explained with a grin, switching back to English.

Denise laughed. "That Ian! It is not part of your job, but if you do it I'll be very grateful."

"I'll be happy to do it."

"Thanks. You're a star."

He briefed her on the events since his shift started at seven and she was glad there wasn't much going on. A quiet night was a good night and there was nothing more annoying than spending two hours typing a report.

Chris and Denise made the first ship's round together and ensured everything was in perfect order. They started in the wardroom where it was still quiet and Denise kept to herself. It was awkward not seeing Diego in the corner playing darts.

They did a round of the galleys where there was a lot of cleaning going on and as they passed by the bakery the smell of fresh cooked bread reminded Denise she hadn't eaten anything since early afternoon. The baker gave her some rolls which were still warm wrapped in a napkin and she took them discretely.

The shops had closed but the casino was up and running and the sound of slot machines could be heard all over deck 6 amidships. Some of the bars were still open. They walked through the promenade all the way around and fought the cold wind until they were back in the front where the service stairs led to the crew bar.

There was some activity and as the venues onboard closed, more crew members arrived to have their end of day drinks and socialize with their friends. Denise stayed for a bit, had a chat with the bar supervisor about closing times and moved on to deck 15. The Spa was deserted and there was no one left in the gym. Outside, by the Spa pool a group of passengers enjoyed the bubbles in the Jacuzzis.

The first round finished in the Stardust Disco where the DJ was busy for a change. Before a sea day people always stayed up until later and there was a good crowd drinking and dancing.

"Good news for revenue." Denise told Chris before they took the elevator to deck 6.

In the middle of their conversation he told her he had worked as assistant night manager before and she felt tranquil to know she could give him responsibility and he would handle it without worries. It was nice not to have to control everything for a change.

Besides bringing coffee, Chris also had an mp3 player loaded with great music, which made Denise much happier since she had totally forgotten how silent the nights could be. He plugged the device on the computer speakers and they were able to enjoy a nice time until the first noise complaint by half one.

"Here we go." Denise muttered and Chris followed her to deck 8 forward.

That was one of the few negative things about working nights. There were two types of noise complaints: the real ones that had to be dealt with diligently and the fake ones that the upgrade hunters came up with hoping to get a better cabin without having to pay the extra. Some areas of the ship were particularly noisy and there was always a record of those: cabins by the elevators, above the casino or underneath the galleys were on the list. The procedure was to try to find them another cabin if there was one or keep apologizing and give them ear plugs and onboard credits if there wasn't.

Denise always tried her best to give a nice cabin to those who had genuine noise issues because it was not fair that they couldn't sleep. In the beginning of the cruise it could be that all the cabins were full, but on a ship that big frequently people had to disembark for different reasons and then it was possible to use the empty cabins for passengers who needed them.

The upgrade hunters, on the other hand, were just annoying people who thought they were smart. They started complaining the first night of the cruise and went on complaining. But the night manager would never give them a new cabin based on imaginary sounds and until someone could hear it in the cabin, they were not moved anywhere. Those complaints normally came from inside cabins, which were the cheapest onboard because they didn't have windows. Years before Denise had learned from another night manager to swap them into a new cabin of the same category. It was a trick that always worked. If there was an inside cabin empty somewhere they were offered that one and it was really funny to see the disappointment on their faces when they realized they were not that smart after all.

Since everywhere else was closed, the night team had to order food from room service. Denise assigned the night receptionist to make a list and place the order. Half an hour later the trolley arrived and they had a back office picnic.

In an act of kindness, Chris gave a radio to Melissa, the night receptionist, and told her to go on a twenty minute break while he covered the desk in her place. It was not part of his duties and Denise was impressed by his gesture. It was good to work with someone who cared for his colleagues, nothing like the previous day team she used to have to babysit.

"Now that I'm almost going home this is starting to improve." She murmured with regret.

Chris finished his shift by three, after the money in the casino had been counted and placed in the safe. Denise had to spend the rest of the night alone. The next people only came on duty at seven and Melissa had to stay behind the desk to take care of any phone calls.

Denise did one more round through the ship, this time including the crew areas on the lower decks. Everything was in order. By four o'clock the night manager paid a visit to the bridge where the officers on watch had just started their shift. She stayed there for a while talking to Stefano and Andrea and appreciating the colors outside. Although it was still night, dawn threatened to break soon and the sky displayed a different haze of colors. Black directly above, then a strong dark gray that became gradually lighter until it reached the horizon line where it turned silver.

When she went back to the office to close the accounts for the night there was a plate with a few peanut butter cookies waiting for her.

"Tom." She whispered and smiled.

She called him on the radio and very seriously just said. "Night manager to security; Tom, what's your location?" She wasn't sure who might be listening.

A voice replied: "Deck 7 forward, by the entrance of the theater."

"Can you meet me in the back office?" She asked.

"On my way."

Denise and Tom shared the cookies and some easy talk while she closed the accounts and made sure everything was ready for the next day.

"So, are you still with that girl you were seeing?" She asked Tom casually.

"No. We were sent to different ships last contract and last time I heard from her she was dating someone else. Ships life." Tom replied with a smile, clearly not very concerned about his ex. "And you?"

"Single. Just got my heart badly broken a few days ago."

"Someone broke your heart? Tell me where the bastard is so I can break his neck!" He smirked.

"Spain."

"That's a bit out of my way. Ships life?"

"Yes."

"May I ask what happened?"

"My impression is that I didn't fit well with his plans. But that's just a theory. He never actually told me." She muttered.

"No worries. I'm here now and I'll make sure you're happy. I'll bring you cookies every night."

"And then I'll be happy and fat." Denise observed with a wink.

"There's a gym on deck 15 somewhere, not that I would know." He replied reminding her that in-door sports were not his thing. He liked hiking and mountain biking and other things that connected him to nature.

A voice on the radio announced that a passenger had just been spotted wondering naked around deck 12 in the passenger's area.

Denise consulted her watch. Four thirty.

"He better be hot!" She said, joking, and Tom went with her to deck 12 where they did two rounds on both sides of the ship and didn't see anyone so each of them returned to their respective duties.

Denise was really happy that Tom was on her ship, even if she only had a few days left onboard. A friend like him was all she needed to feel better. It was like some high force in the universe knew she was having a hard time and sent him to rescue her.

Around five in the morning was the hardest time for a night manager, much worse for a troubled one like Denise. She had done most of her work and now she had too much time to think. The silence was heavy and uncomfortable and she wrote a note on her hand to bring music the next night since Chris had taken the player with him back to his cabin. She had a look outside to the reception area. Melissa was playing cards on the computer, not that there was anything better for her to do.

When she wasn't expecting any more events for the night, Tom's voice came up on the radio and he asked her to meet him in one of the lockers on deck 4 aft.

When she arrived Tom was standing there with two workers from the technical department who looked like someone who got caught doing something wrong.

"So, what's going on here?" The night manager enquired, with the pad on her hand ready to take notes.

"Well, I was doing my rounds and I saw some smoke coming out of this technical locker. I advised the bridge and put my hand on the door outside to see if there were any hotspots. There weren't so I opened the door. Instead of a fire, I found these two cooking. They were grilling chicken." Tom explained making a titanic effort not to laugh.

Denise felt her face getting hotter and she knew she was blushing with anger. "You were grilling chicken in a technical locker." It wasn't a question.

"Sorry ma'." One of them answered humbly, looking down rather than at her.

"Do you realize that first of all a technical locker is not a kitchen and second, you could have started a fire?"

They kept looking at the floor and didn't reply.

At least they are not arguing, Denise thought. "Is that a camping stove?" She pointed at the portable device in the locker. "Does that thing work with gas?"

"Looks like it." Tom confirmed.

Denise grumbled, thinking about the fire hazard. "All right. I need your names, cabin numbers and ranks. And we're confiscating the stove." She declared.

"Can we keep the chicken?" One of the men asked and Tom couldn't help a chuckle.

"Whatever." She said. They gave her the stove and she took it and returned to her office with Tom. He left her by the door and went to the bridge to explain the events of the night.

Denise placed the stove on her desk and started typing the night report.

Ian stopped by the office at seven to pick her up for breakfast and check how she was doing.

"Hello. How was the night?" He asked.

"It was interesting enough. I didn't have much time for boredom. And Chris seems to be really good at his job, which is great news for me." She replied with a half-smile. She was exhausted.

"Is that a camping stove?" He asked pointing at the strange object.

"Yes. Don't ask. I'll send you a copy of the night report." She informed.

Ian sat on the desk waiting for her to finish the last details. "Okay. And how are you holding on?"

"Surviving. You know how it is."

"Have you heard from Diego?"

"No." Denise answered wretchedly and Ian gave her a strong hug.

"Things will get better for you, you'll see." He murmured. "You know how it is onboard, people have different plans, different priorities in life..."

"I know Ian. I know exactly how it is onboard." She replied. "Let's go for breakfast. I feel like eggs Florentine." She took her arm and they left the office.

# 26

In only a few days Denise became familiar with all the crew members that worked nights. The bar staff who closed the bars and cleaned up afterward, the night cleaners that maintained the ship sparkling, the security team, the galley staff, the night supervisor, the watch keepers on the bridge, the engineers in the control room and the casino staff who were always the last to finish work and had a difficult social life apart from their own colleagues because of their unusual working hours.

Although the night people didn't necessarily become friends with each other, they were at least familiar and there was a certain level of complicity. Soon Denise started being invited to have breakfast with them after work, a cup of coffee in someone's cabin or to go ashore in a port with them. As night manager she appreciated the respect and attention and since she felt very lonely, every moment spent with her friendly colleagues was one moment less she wasted thinking about the things troubling her.

Tom in particular played a very important role just by being there. He was a good listener, cheerful and fun. Everything a tormented soul needed. They talked every night and tried to get breakfast together in the buffet as much as possible.

He was still puzzled with her. There was a darkness across her face he couldn't quite figure out, something he didn't remember from before. He dug into his memory feverously, almost certain that she wasn't always like that. He remembered a very different, a lot more cheerful and joyful Denise. He found it hard to believe that one man had changed her that much.

"You know, I have two sisters, and I think I know women pretty well. Is it my impression or that break up you just had caused a lot more damage than the usual ship's story?" He asked during one of their meals, sitting in a corner of the buffet all the way on the back of the ship.

"I can't keep anything from you, can I?" She murmured with a broken voice.

"Like I said, I have two sisters. I even spent a night in jail when I was nineteen because I broke a guy's nose after he broke my little sister's heart."

Denise stared at him incredulously. "You spent a night in jail?"

"Yes. I was nineteen, you know, lots of hormones. This guy my sister was all in love with dumped her for another girl so I found him and broke his nose. I got away pretty clean. The judge had a teenage daughter so he understood. I'm not sorry. He deserved it." He added with a wicked smile across his face.

She giggled, finding hard to imagine someone as peaceful and kind as Tom capable of violence.

"As far as I can tell this guy you were seeing was important to you, right? Is that why you are so gloomy?" He insisted.

She nodded affirmatively and looked at the plate instead of looking at him. "Yes, he was very important. More than I should have allowed him to be."

"Women can't separate sex from emotions Denise. You should have known that. You girls keep lying to yourselves and accepting a lot less than you deserve because it feels better to have little than nothing and then you end up like that. You know, the fact that you have such deep feelings is one of my favorite things about women. I really love that. It makes you so special. It upsets me to see you waste them or hide them like it's something to be ashamed off."

"Thanks, I guess. Not that I feel any special. I feel pretty ordinary, actually."

Tom met her gaze and threw her a killer look. "You, ordinary? Not in a million years! Why in the world would you ever think something like that?"

"Well, he left me. He knew how I felt and that didn't make any difference. I'm obviously not that special." She concluded, following a logic that he really didn't understand.

"Denise Kilner, I swear I could slap you right now! You're so lucky you're a woman."

"If I were a man would you break my nose?"

"Yes. And a few other bones. I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention: the Spanish guy didn't leave you because you're not special. He left you because he didn't love you. Stop dwelling on it. Stop blaming yourself, stop thinking that you did something wrong."

"What makes you so sure I didn't do anything wrong?"

He smiled at her a crookedly. "I'm a man. I know how we function. Nothing keeps a guy away from the woman he loves. If what's-his-name loved you, there is no way he would have lost you, at least not without a good fight. Of course he didn't tell you that because he was afraid of hurting you. Men are suckers for cowardice. Simple as that!"

"He hurt me anyway. He destroyed my self-esteem. And if I loved him, why was it so hard for him to love me even a little bit. It's so unfair..." She muttered.

"If we could program ourselves to love on demand, Hollywood would go bankrupt. Love is a beautiful thing, but we can't control it." Tom explained.

Denise took a bite of her muffin and then looked at him again. "I still think it's very unfair. I mean, I wasn't enjoying living in a dating limbo and just getting scraps of his attention, but I really liked him."

"I know it sucks, but life is like that. We've all been there at some stage. Right now it must be really hard but you will get over it. It's not the end of the world."

"Thanks for cheering me up Tom. It's great having you here." She half smiled.

"Oh, don't thank me yet. I'm not done. We're going on a tour so I can cheer you up a bit more."

Denise chuckled and he loved the fact that he had finally managed to get a positive emotion out of her.

"Can I sleep on the tour?" She asked when they left the buffet.

"If you can sleep with the noise of a train, sure."

Having time off during the day was one of the benefits of working nights. Getting little or no rest during port days was the price to pay, but no one cared about that. Denise had established to sleep at least ten to twelve hours during the sea days and much less than the recommended when they were in port.

The Taieri Gorge Railway in Dunedin was Tom's idea and if Natalie had approved it, then it had to be good. The name was strange, like most names in New Zealand, but the trip was amazing and very relaxing. The journey was a 78km long rail experience through scenery that was only accessible by train. After working the entire night, to sit on the train listening to the live commentary and enjoying the sightseeing without having to move a limb was almost as good as a journey to heaven.

The trip started in suburban Dunedin, it passed through the fertile farmland of the Taieri plains and went on climbing into the Taieri River Gorge. The journey was refreshing and beautiful with the appearance of sheer cliffs and sudden ravines framing the river, lovely valleys, narrow tunnels and bridges.

For a few hours Denise and Tom learned the history of how Dunedin's pioneers cut the railway line through the rugged and impenetrable country and marveled at the lattice work viaducts and dark tunnels on the way. There were some sightseeing stops and the train even had a buffet car where travelers could get food.

"This reminds me of Alaska." Tom observed.

"There is a little resemblance with that train that goes form Skagway up the mountains, but the landscape is different. Here it's greener and there's no ice. The last time I did it in Alaska the summit had a frozen lake and it was July." Denise remembered.

"It reminds me of the Lord of the Rings." The passenger sitting in front of them entered the conversation.

Denise and Tom smiled in agreement.

"Yes, I guess everything in this country reminds of the movies. But here specially, with the curves of the river and the high hills covered in trees. I can easily imagine Frodo and Sam paddling down the current in the boat that the Elves gave them." Tom replied.

"Actually, I don't remember the movies that well. I've seen them a long time ago, but doing this tour is giving me a real idea of how majestic the countryside in New Zealand really is. This place is stunning. I come from a beautiful country too, with mountains, lakes and snow, but there is something about New Zealand I can't really explain, something that draws me..."

The passenger agreed with Denise about feeling drawn by the charm of New Zealand and the conversation moved on to all sorts of subjects and observations until Tom, who was desperately trying to fight sleep said it would be wonderful if a big yellow M suddenly appeared in the middle of the trees and the entire carriage burst into laughter.

"I don't think MacDonald's would fit the profile around here." Denise retorted. "But if you are hungry I'm sure they have some snacks in the buffet."

"I'm not that hungry, I'm just really sleepy. This train is so relaxing I could take a nap all the way until we get back to the ship."

"But then you will miss the scenery. Get a coffee." Denise suggested and he dragged himself to the next carriage.

The passenger, a man in his sixties from somewhere in Milwaukee, and Denise were left alone for a bit and he kept chatting. He told her that his wife had died the year before when they had the cruise already booked so he decided to go anyway, because that's what she would have wanted him to do.

"That's brave. How are you feeling so far?" Denise enquired with genuine interest.

"It's been nice actually. I was afraid I was going to feel lonely, but I've made some new friends and it's been a good holiday, although it would have been a lot better with my Janice." He stated.

"You must miss her a lot..."

"We were together for forty two years. She was part of me. When she died I just wanted to go with her. When you spend a life time with someone and you lose your love, nothing else makes sense anymore. Every day I have to search for reasons to keep living without her."

"I'm sure Janice would want you to be happy even after she was gone."

"She would, but once you lose someone who completed you, you lose a part of yourself too. You still make it through every day as best as you can, but there is this empty space... I hope you'll never have to experience it. Losing someone you love is the worst thing that can ever happen to a person." He concluded as Tom arrived with three coffees, one for each of them. The passenger was very grateful for the attention and Denise used the moment to draw their attention away from her and quickly hid a stubborn tear that insisted in falling down her right cheek.

During the rest of the trip Denise and Tom made a new friend. The passenger, Mr. Hobson, told them a lot of interesting stories about his youth and his experiences cruising for twenty years with his wife. He was surprisingly pleasant and Denise took a note of his cabin number to send him some canapés or a bottle of wine to share with his friends. Passengers like him were the ones she liked to remember and made it enjoyable to be a crew member.

Chris was sitting by his desk and her cup of coffee was religiously waiting, for which Denise was very grateful. She hadn't slept much after the tour.

"Grobe tage?" He asked in German, looking at her exhausted face.

"Tour day." She answered in English.

"That explains it."

She went through her emails and quickly went online and had a look at her private messages as well. There was an email from Diego that set her heart racing as she opened it.

"Sorry it took me so long to say something. I made it home safe. Hope you're okay. Diego"

"Bastard!" Denise shouted and Chris glanced suspiciously at her. "Not you."

"Good to know." He mumbled. "What's up?"

"God created men! That's what's up." She replied vaguely and sounding really mad.

"Yes, he did. And if he had only created women the world would be boring and noisy." Chris observed while checking some numbers for the medical center.

"Good point. Let's do rounds. I need you to come with me to make sure I'm not killing anyone tonight."

It was still early and they found the wardroom full. Denise saw Sofia and Carla and spent some time chatting with them. Sofia told her to make sure she was free in Sydney because she had a surprise.

There was a Naughty or Nice party tonight and Carla was dressed up in an angel costume. Her boyfriend was wearing a devil suit.

"So you chose nice. And I thought you would go for naughty..." Denise observed.

"So does everyone else. This way they will all be surprised." Carla replied with a grin.

"I'll just have to go in uniform. It's not naughty, it's not nice, but we have to live with it." The night manager observed making everyone giggle.

"And I'm pretty sure you'll be there by two o'clock sharp to close the bar and end the party." Carla added.

"Of course. If I can't have fun, why would you?"

Before midnight there was no one in the crew bar and it made little sense to waste time there. At that hour the passenger areas were a lot more attractive with people nicely dressed enjoying the bars, the casino or a little evening shopping.

They stopped by the theater where a comedian was doing a show and stayed for a few minutes. Denise and Chris didn't really understand what was so funny about him but the crowd was laughing so they obviously appreciate the entertainment. In one of the bars a piano and guitar duet played soft music and Denise wished she could to stay and listen for a little longer.

Chris entertained her with stories from the passenger's file that she hadn't bothered to read yet and how the cruise was unusually quiet and that was normally sign of a storm on the way.

"Don't say the word storm before we cross the Tasmanian Sea." She warned him, recalling those three days of rocking and rolling that made half the ship sick and gave a major headache to the other half.

Chris laughed. "Are you superstitious?"

"I didn't use to be, but this contract made me change my mind. I only have to cross the Tasmanian Sea two more times. It would be nice if they were quiet and easy."

"I'll call the captain and order it for you." He joked.

"Very funny. What about you call Melissa and get her to order food for us? I'll be hungry in one hour." Denise suggested and Chris took a note pad out of his pocket and started writing.

"What do you want?"

"I already had a club sandwich yesterday, burgers are off my list, and there's no way I'm eating salad at one in the morning, so I guess that leaves me the usual bagels and yogurt."

"That's not proper food. No wonder you didn't grow much!"

"That's why I have a lovely tall assistant to look after me." She answered with a grin as they walked downstairs to deck 6 and into the back office.

Just like Carla predicted, by two o'clock Denise was in the crew bar and as soon as the happy crew saw the night manager, they knew the party would be over soon and rushed to the bar to get the last drinks. The bar was nicely decorated and a lot of people really put in the effort to dress up. There were all sorts of definitions of naughty and nice, from devils to nurses with very short skirts and some more unusual customs like a Venetian outfit, that not having that much to do with the main theme was actually very nice.

At ten past two Denise told the bar tender to stop selling drinks. She allowed the music to continue for another half hour. Sending people away suddenly would create trouble. They would just go downstairs and start parties all over the crew areas of the ship. It was better to keep them in the bar for a while as long as they couldn't buy any more alcohol.

With two noise complaints and the extra concern about the crew's behavior, Denise asked Chris to do the Casino count so she could do a couple more rounds. The crew seemed well behaved and all she found was a small group of bar staff chatting on a deck 3 corridor and then a smaller party going on in Eli's cabin on deck 12. The cruise staff was having another social drinking event, but since the cruise director was there and the neighbors weren't complaining, she just waved when she passed by, with no intention of spoiling their fun.

"Hello night manager! Would you like to join us?" Eli asked, opening the door wider and grabbing Denise's arm before she could say anything. Carla and Sofia were also in the gathering, which was very surprising considering they would have an early start the next morning.

"I would love to, but first I'm busy and second I can't drink. I'm on duty."

"C'mon woman." Leo, the cruise director said. "I'm sure you have time for at least a cup of coffee with the nicest people onboard." Having said that, he turned on the kettle and gave her a mug, not waiting for a reply.

"I'm assuming that kettle has been tested by security."

"Of course! The cruise staff team is very responsible." Leo said, and showed her the sticker that confirmed the electrical appliance had been approved to be used onboard.

Denise had a coffee with them and stayed longer than she had anticipated. The cruise staff had some delightful and entertaining members who were highly skilled in telling jokes and coming up with the most bizarre and unexpected ideas. It was only when Chris paged her after the casino count that she realized it was past half three. She ran down to deck 6 to check the last details with the assistant night manager before he finished his duties for the night.

Chris, professional and organized as usual, had finished all his duties and was ready to go when she arrived.

Denise hated being on her own and with only a few hours of sleep it was going to be hard to make it through the night. At four thirty she made one more round before closing the accounts, this time including a walk through the promenade deck to make sure the fresh air would help her stay awake a few more hours.

The wind was blowing strong with the ship sailing fast and there was absolutely no one to be seen. She had a seat on a big wooden box where the spare life jackets were kept, feeling a bit cold but enjoying the quiet and nothing but the sound of the ocean and the big moon illuminating the mass of deep water ahead. The air was cool on her skin, almost crisp. It was very refreshing.

Just above her head she heard a sound. She looked up and didn't see anything unusual. The lifeboats were properly stored and secured to their davits, but as a precaution she went up the metal stairs and had a better look to make sure everything was fine. If there was something lose it had to be fixed. When she approached the second lifeboat she heard what sounded like voices. With the noise from the waves battering against the side of the ship it was difficult to tell if she was right.

Her first thought was that maybe some silly crew members had decided to play smart. She opened the orange cover and threw it on top of the boat. When she pointed her torch inside she found a couple completely naked, enjoying sex so distractedly they didn't even notice there was someone else there until the light hit their faces and they heard her talking to them.

Rather than embarrassed, they looked amused and didn't try to cover their bodies. Denise kept the light pointed at their faces. They looked very young.

"Hello. I'm the night manager. Who are you? Are you crew?" She asked, already thinking about the lecture they were going to get together with a written warning, but then she saw the blue card hanging on a cord around the guy's neck.

"No, we're passengers." He walked to her with his head down to avoid hitting the top of the boat.

"Could you please put some clothes on?" Denise asked, noticing his nice, fit body. "I can't talk to you seriously when you're standing there naked."

The couple obeyed and put on their clothes quickly. They had an amused look on their faces. Denise helped them of the lifeboat and took a final look to make sure everything was neat before closing it.

"Do you realize what you've just done? Do you have an idea of how many rules you have broken?" She asked, trying to be serious when all she wanted to do was laugh.

The three of them sat on the bottom of the stairs.

"It's our honeymoon. We were just looking for somewhere original, you know? A little adventure to remember. I want to have something exciting to tell my grandkids many years from now." The guy, Trevor, according to his cruise card, justified with a smile.

"Listen grandpa." Denise joked, picking up his line. "I don't care what stories you want to tell your grandkids many years from now or your friends when you go home. That's a lifeboat and there's a reason why there is a chain with a sign saying crew only. You could have been seriously hurt or you could have damaged something in there."

"I'm sure you understand us Denise. Don't tell me you never had sex in unusual places before." The girl said, reading her name tag.

"Looking for originality I can understand, looking for danger and breaking ship's rules, bad idea. Do you know what will happen when the captain finds out? He might get you off the ship." She explained.

They looked at each other and seemed worried for the first time.

"Oh, please don't do that. Don't tell the captain. We won't do it again, we promise." The guy assured and his wife nodded in agreement.

Denise saw sincerity in their eyes but took matters a bit further to make sure they got the point. "It's my duty. I have to report what I see. The captain is the master of this vessel and if he decides you shouldn't be onboard, that's it." She had no intention of telling anything but they deserved a lesson.

"Please, don't tell anyone, we promise we'll stay away from the lifeboats. Please..." The girl asked humbly.

Denise sighed. "All right, this time I'm going to keep it to myself, but I have your cabin number. If I find you doing something like this again you're out the next port." She threatened.

The grateful couple left with the promise to stick to more conventional locations for their sex experiences and Denise was again alone on the promenade deck. As soon as the wooden doors closed behind them she burst out laughing.

"Freaking passengers! And I thought tonight I would have trouble with the crew." She went back upstairs and made another inspection on the lifeboat to make sure there was no evidence left there for the deck crew to find later and then returned to the office where a plate of peanut butter cookies awaited on her desk.

The following night when she came on duty Denise found a jar with tropical flowers and a thank you note from Trevor and Linda.

Sometimes she found it difficult not to love the passengers.

# 27

Denise spent two calm sea days in bed watching movies, sleeping many hours, catching up with friends on the internet and keeping her mind busy so she wouldn't think of Diego.

Sometimes she looked in the mirror and her demons came back and she wondered if there was something wrong, if she was no longer attractive, if she wasn't interesting enough... And then she remembered Tom's words, took a deep breath and repeated a few times that she was a valuable person.

Sofia came by in the evenings and they talked until Denise had to start working. Although she was still sad and she could only sleep with the help of pills, it was a great surprise to find out that the cruise was going well and she was having a good time.

Denise had it clear in her conscience that it was possible to be happy without Diego and little by little she accomplished that through the good moments she spent with people who cared about her.

She told Sofia the story about the two passengers on the lifeboat under the promise she wouldn't tell anyone and her friend found it very funny.

"Do you realize how much trouble you can get into for not reporting them?"

"I know. But sometimes we have to take risks. And to be very honest with you, there was a moment there when I wished it had been me in that lifeboat." She confessed.

"Lifeboats don't seem very comfortable." Sofia observed.

"I meant I would like to try the full package: newlywed, happy, wanting to try new things together." Denise clarified.

"I'm not married yet but I guess it must be really great, when you make the commitment to belong to each other..."

"Well, you'll find out soon." She reminded with a grin.

Sofia smiled at the thought. "So tell me, how have you been doing?"

"As long as I don't think about him too much, I'm fine. The pills help me to sleep and I've been spending time ashore. Apart from the two months I was in the crew office, this has been the best part of my contract."

"Good to know that. I would feel really bad if you didn't have any fun on our last cruises onboard."

"Our last cruises?" Denise asked just to make sure.

"I got my leaving date and flights confirmed. We're going home the same day."

Denise hugged her friend with joy. "That's so cool. I couldn't think of a better way to finish."

"One more thing." Sofia added. "Tomorrow morning when you finish work come straight to Eli's cabin. It's her birthday and we're doing a little celebration. She wants you there."

"By celebration, are we talking about drinking at eight in the morning?"

Sofia chuckled. "With Eli organizing it, very likely. I hope you don't have any plans for Hobart."

"Well, Tom wanted to go out for breakfast in some place he likes."

"Go for breakfast and join us when you come back. Bring him too, and Chris. I'm almost sure that Kelly has a crush on him."

Denise looked confused. "Kelly has a crush on Chris? Who is Kelly again?"

"Kelly is in the cruise staff team. That blond girl who was in Eli's cabin the other night, remember?"

"I can't remember half of the twenty people Eli managed to fit in her cabin, but I'll advise Chris that he has a fan onboard, just in case he's interested." Denise confirmed. "And by the way, you're sounding more and more like a typical crew member, drinking at stupid hours and matchmaking. We need to get you out of the ship before it becomes chronicle."

* * *

Tom took Denise to a lovely coffee shop overlooking the water, where they had pancakes, hot chocolate and the best raspberry jam she had ever tasted.

She could forget about time when she was talking to Tom. Any subject was so easy to talk to him about and they drifted smoothly from their families at home to the weather, the coolest places they had traveled to and of course, life onboard: the most unavoidable of all topics. He told her about the time when he had to do pirate watch and she grimaced.

"Don't make that silly face. I'm not talking about pirates-of-the-Caribbean-Jack-Sparrow type of pirates."

"That's a pity. I find Jack Sparrow rather charming."

"Women!" He growled.

"Now explain the pirate watch better. I've never heard that one before."

"It's something that only happens in very particular itineraries. I did it on a ship that was sailing between South Africa and India. It's not a very common run precisely because it's dangerous. There are many pirates in those waters always looking for a chance to invade a ship. Many cargo ships have been attacked there. These people have heavy weapons and don't have any problems using them so we had watches on deck to survey the waters around the vessel. It was the most tedious thing I've ever done in my life. We would spend hours and hours just looking at the water." He explained.

"That makes more sense. It must have been incredibly boring though. Did you ever get to see any pirates?"

"No, thank goodness I didn't. We were able to do the run without that sort of problem."

Denise sighed. "That must be a really amazing itinerary. India, Africa... Wow."

"There were some very nice places. Apart from the pirate watches I had a great time. India was particularly prone to interesting situations. In one of the ports they used to greet the passengers with elephants. One morning we docked and while security was getting ready one of the elephants relieved his bowels right in front of the forward gangway. As you can imagine that means a lot of shit, literally." Tom described with a chuckle. "We had to keep the gangway closed for a good time before they cleaned that crap. It was absolutely hilarious!"

Denise burst with laughter and he went on entertaining her with a few more stories.

Because of their long conversation Denise and Tom made it to Eli's cabin a bit later than they had agreed initially. None of them regretted that.

Carla, Sofia and a blond girl that must have been Kelly were on the bed. Eli was sitting on the floor with a few bottles nearby and there was Phil from production on another chair, two dancers sharing a couch and Denise and Tom had to squeeze on the bed in the middle of everyone else. Before they could say a word each one of them was given a glass of vodka mixed with something that looked weird but tasted good.

"Jelly beans." Eli clarified when she noted their puzzled faces.

"What?"

"I put jelly beans in the bottle of vodka for a few days. That's what gives it the flavor."

"Oh-h." Denise stuttered. "Interesting. It tastes nice."

Chris was not there yet so Eli paged him and got him out of bed with the threat that if he didn't arrive in her cabin in the next five minutes she would go get him.

A moment later he joined them still half asleep.

"You people are unbelievable! Please tell me you didn't get me out of bed to come drinking. I have an empty stomach." He complained.

"You need to fill it then." Eli said with a grin and gave him a big glass of something that coming from her could only be extremely alcoholic.

Chris went on protesting and drinking and by ten thirty in the morning everyone except Sofia was drunk. Kelly took some pictures and Eli had the absurd idea to make some shots with vodka and Baileys.

When most of them couldn't even move anymore Eli rose from the floor, fixed her hair and cheerfully told everyone she was going to call Bingo and left in a hurry. At that point Sofia had left to open the medical center and the others were seriously drunk. It was only a good bit later that they stopped to think that Eli could consume a lot more alcohol than any of them. When everyone else was barely functioning, she was fit enough to go to work.

Denise and Tom helped Chris to go back to his room. Then they took the elevator to deck 4 with Carla and everyone went straight to their respective beds. Denise felt her head so heavy she could barely lift it.

By seven that evening, Chris was late to work and Leah had to page him. Lucky for him she fell for the universal excuse that the alarm clock didn't ring. He had a shower, put on a clean uniform and some perfume and prayed that she wouldn't notice that he was still drunk. Leah gave him the master keys and the instructions for the night and it was with great relieve that he saw her big bottom swaying out the door.

By eleven, when Denise came to work completely hangover they sat front to front by their desks, holding their heads with their hands and staring at each other.

"This is going to be a long night. How do you feel?" Denise asked her assistant.

"Scheiße!" He replied in German. "Who was it that had the brilliant idea to start drinking at half nine in the morning?" He asked with sarcasm.

"That would have been Eli. And you were the only one who started drinking at nine thirty. Everyone else was there before."

"I was late to work, I came here still drunk and now I have to work another four hours feeling like crap!"

Denise laughed although it wasn't funny and she was feeling as bad as him. Her head was spinning, her body was sore and her brain unresponsive. "Like I said, this is going to be a long night. Let's just hope it will be quiet."

But the night was everything except quiet and both Denise and Chris deeply regret their drinking session that morning. It was like all the dramas onboard were saved on purpose for the one night none of them was in good shape.

By eleven thirty they received a noise complaint from deck 6 forward: the corridor where the dancers lived. When they arrived there, a cabin with a door wide open had been converted into a bar and a big speaker played loud dance music in the corridor. A big group of people was outside chatting and dancing and Denise tried to get them to listen to her but the music was too loud and no one seemed to notice her presence.

Chris observed that even the cord for the speaker was secured to the floor with tape so whoever planned the party thought of the safety hazards. He grimaced and plugged it off. With the loud music gone Denise made her voice heard.

"You people can move to deck 8 forward. Crew bar. Now!" She shouted. "I'm coming back in ten minutes. If I see you or any leftovers of this party here, you'll be in my report tomorrow morning."

When she turned around to leave, she had a surprise.

"Ian! You trouble maker! Of all the people I didn't expect to see here, your name would be on top of the list. You were night manager just last cruise. What in the world are you doing in this place?"

"Nice party, isn't it?" He snickered.

"That's not what I asked." She tried to sound mad but she loved him too much and he knew there was no way she would ever be truly upset with him.

"Since I don't have to finish the parties anymore, I'm participating." He replied with a comic smile and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Chill out Denise. Its only music and some drinks."

Denise looked at the huge speaker that two of the dancers were now using as a seat and the dozens of bottles all over the place. Most people were still there, looking at her but not exactly moving.

"Did I speak Chinese?" She shouted again. "I told you to clean up and get the hell out of here. Do it!"

Denise turned around and took the service stairs to deck 5. She dropped on her chair holding her head as soon as she reached her desk. Chris couldn't help laughing.

"Any other night, I would have found it funny. Not today."

"You have to admit the detail of securing the cord with tape was brilliant." He pointed out.

"Tell me that again tomorrow and I'll probably agree. Today the only thing I can admit is that I feel like crap and this night is taking too long."

As soon as she finished the sentence Tom called on the radio reporting a fight in one of the passenger's bars. One hour later there was a missing person who turned out to be drunk in a corner of the casino and like that wasn't bad enough several crew members locked themselves out of their cabins and Denise had to run around to open their doors with the master keys.

Around one o'clock she received a call from one of the bars and the first thing she thought, considering the hour, was that they were asking permission to close but the bar supervisor advised her that there was a passenger requesting wheelchair assistance to return to her room.

"Explain that better." The night manager requested, reminding herself that whatever was going on, it was not his fault.

"This woman's been here drinking for a while. Now she's asking me to get her someone with a wheelchair to push her to her room."

Denise wanted to slap the passenger. "Does she have a wheelchair?"

"I don't think so."

"How did she get to the bar?"

"I'm not sure. But she's been sitting on a normal chair all night." The bar supervisor replied.

"Did you tell her that either she has her own wheelchair or she can request the chair from us but she'll have to make her way to the room sitting on it? This is not a nursing home."

"I told her, well, not the nursing home bit, but she said I was rude and said she wanted to talk to my supervisor." He explained.

Across the desk Chris laughed out loud.

"Chris, when they decide to promote you, do yourself a favor and get a job ashore. Being the supervisor sucks!" She mumbled on the way to the bar on deck 7.

He giggled and went with her because he didn't want to miss that one.

The lady was the only passenger left in the bar and by the look on the bartender's face, she had been getting on his nerves for a while. Denise introduced herself and saw right away how drunk the woman was.

The passenger demanded wheelchair assistance again and Denise asked her how she had arrived in the bar.

"I walked." She had the nerve to answer.

"If you walked here, you can walk back." Denise replied sharply, making sure the woman understood who had the authority there.

"If you don't get me the wheelchair, I'll stay here all night." The passenger answered in a challenging tone.

"No problem. You can stay. But be advised the bar is going to close now and there will be no more booze for you. On the other hand, there is a mini bar in your cabin."

Denise left before the woman could think about an answer and Chris followed biting his tong to hold the laughter. "Is she going to take the bait?"

"Trust me, she will." Denise guaranteed, knowing from her many previous experiences how the minds who crave alcohol work.

Much later that night, after Chris was gone, Denise received an email from Diego. Hi, you didn't answer my email yesterday. Are you okay? Diego.

Denise was normally polite but the hangover mixed with the troubled night she was having took the best out of her.

No you moron. I'm not okay, I couldn't possibly be okay and you already know that. Stop asking!

She pressed enter before her conscience spoke louder. She had to get that out of her chest. If she felt like it, tomorrow she would send an apology.

* * *

By half three in the afternoon Denise was waiting for Sofia outside the gangway wearing comfortable clothes and walking shoes like she had been instructed to do. There was a big mystery about where they were going and Denise couldn't get a single clue of what they were supposed to be doing in Sydney. She hoped they would be spending time outside because the day was beautiful and she wanted to enjoy the sun.

Sofia arrived a few minutes later wearing jeans, runners and a green top. She smiled and waved as she walked down the gangway.

"Hi. Can you tell me now where we are going?" Denise enquired.

"Not yet. Patience is a virtue my dear. Follow me."

Denise obeyed and they walked side by side to Cumberland Street in The Rocks, which she recognized as being the place where the famous Bridge Climb started. She stared at the door incredulously for a moment.

"Are we going to do the bridge climb?" She asked, following the metal line of the Harbor Bridge above with her eyes twinkling in excitement.

"Yes, that's exactly what we are going to do. Get ready for a very thrilling afternoon." Sofia affirmed with a joyful smile.

"Do you know how afraid I am of heights?"

"I'm afraid of heights too. And in four hours we'll both be very proud of ourselves because we beat our fear." Sofia answered with contagious confidence.

They went in. Sofia had purchased the tickets online. They were welcomed by a nice and visibly happy guide and met the rest of the group. Everyone was sent to a separate room to have a preparation for the climb.

First of all they all had an alcohol test. Anyone with more than 0.05% blood-alcohol level would not be allowed to do the climb.

"That would put off at least 75% of our crew." Sofia observed and Denise chuckled.

After passing the test all their personal belongings, including the cameras, were stored in secure lockers. Before the climb started everyone had to go through a metal detector.

Next it was time for the climbing gear. Apart from the specially designed suit, everyone received a radio headset receiver for communication, the safety harness, a head-mounted caving lamp, and lanyards for the sun glasses. The guide told them that the climb suit had been specially done with a fabric that camouflages the climbers and avoids distracting the traffic bellow.

"I feel more like I'm going to explore a cave or something." Denise observed.

They were given some extra information and before the climb started they all went on a simulator to give them a feel of the conditions they would experience on the top of the bridge. The group was introduced to ladder and stair procedures, which Sofia and Denise knew well from working on the ship, and told how to use the harness. For the duration of the climb everyone was attached to a static line on the Bridge to ensure safety and comfort. This was very welcomed by those who were not particularly keen on heights. After almost one hour of preparation Sofia no longer remembered she was afraid of heights and Denise wasn't sure if she was shaking with fear or excitement.

The guide was very entertaining, the comments were stimulating and funny and as they started going through the catwalks, ladders and steadily to the summit the view only got better and the enthusiasm increased. It was windy but not too bad and the sun had started it's descending towards the horizon line. By the time they went through the upper span of the arch and walked up to the summit at 134 meters above Sydney Harbor, it was almost sunset and the sky was turning into glorious shades of orange and red.

Just like they had been told, after walking along flat and inclined mesh catwalks, going up four flights of stairs, climbing 465 steps on the arches and step over, duck under and squeeze through girders, there they were on the top of the world's largest steel-arch bridge with a 360 degree view of Sydney, the ocean to the east, the mountains to the west and the harbor spreading before their dazzled eyes.

Denise and Sofia got the staff to take several pictures and it was with great satisfaction that Sofia saw real happiness in her friend's eyes. That alone had been worth the experience and the soreness of her legs.

"I don't think I've ever felt anything like this before." Denise said, trying to express her joy and personal achievement.

"I've been in some spectacular places, but this is truly unique."

Denise hugged Sofia and thanked her again. "I'm so glad we did this. For as long as I live I will never forget this day. I feel that I can do anything."

Sofia smiled. "Who says you can't?"

They stayed up there for as long as they were allowed and the guide told them a few more stories and Australian jokes to keep them entertained.

In the end Sofia and Denise purchased a number of pictures and one t-shirt each to take with them and remember that day.

When they made it back onboard it was almost time for the ship to sail. It was completely dark and instead of taking another couple of hours to sleep Denise went with Sofia to watch sail away and have some food on deck 15. "This day was just perfect." She observed.

"I'm really glad you enjoyed it." Sofia answered, spoiling her diet with two slices of greasy pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.

"I just honestly never thought that I could still have such a wonderful time on this ship. It's been a really great surprise. I was so afraid to get seriously depressed when Diego left and look at me now, all happy after climbing the Harbor Bridge, having fun, spending time with good friends..." Denise confessed.

Sofia giggled. "Sometimes all you need to be happy is to tell yourself you can. I'm happy to have someone I love, but I've always believed it's wrong to make our happiness depend on other people. It's wonderful to have someone but if Diego didn't want to be that person, why would you have to be miserable? He already punished you, there's no reason for you to punish yourself. You have ten days left. Make the best out of them."

"You don't need to say that again." She replied with a wink.

# 28

Denise followed Sofia's advice and made the best out of her cruise. It was likely the last time she would be on a cruise ship and she wanted to enjoy it before it was all over.

In those remaining days of her contract she went to the beach and visited the highlights of Melbourne, went on a tour of Port Arthur following her friend's recommendation, spent hours on the open decks in Fiordland admiring the stunning landscape and talking to crew and passengers and felt truly relaxed. She also visited some places in Dunedin and went to the Willowbank Wildlife Reserve in Christchurch where she finally had the chance to see a kiwi bird. To close in beauty she went to Rotorua when they docked in Tauranga.

Her nights went as well as it could be expected and during those ten days she didn't feel too pressured or overly tired, only sleepy sometimes. Chris made her life easy and Leah didn't see her enough to give her a hard time. She hadn't even sat eyes on Elaine and Kate for most of the cruise and that alone was a gift.

When she went to the crew office the day before Auckland to sign off and receive her flight details it still felt like she was dreaming. After four years on ships Denise knew what it was like to have to say goodbye by the end of a contract. There were always mixed feelings of happiness for finally going home after so many months working every day, with the sadness of saying goodbye to so many friends and the conscience that it could be a very long time before they saw each other again, if they ever did. This time the feeling was different. She didn't have any sadness, only sheer joy.

The friends Denise had made onboard were almost all gone with the exception of Sofia, Ian and Tom. Sofia was going home the same day as her, Ian one cruise later and Tom wouldn't be less of a friend when they had half the world between them. She was going to miss him a lot but he would always be a dear friend no matter how far away he was.

She started packing her bags and tried really hard to make everything fit inside. Six months was a good period of time to collect stuff. After taking things out and put them back in again three times she made up her mind to leave her uniforms behind. If she didn't come back for another contract she wouldn't need them, and if she returned, the shop keeper would have them for sale and they weren't that expensive.

Sofia knocked on her door just before eight to pick her up for dinner with Ian and Albert. They had organized a farewell dinner for both of them and Ian who was due to leave the following cruise.

"How's your packing going?"

Denise gave her friend a desperate look. "A nightmare! How did I manage to collect so much stuff?"

Sofia giggled. "Six months is a long time."

"I've already decided to leave my uniforms here."

"That should give you a good extra space." Sofia observed.

"That was what I thought, but it doesn't seem to be working." She moaned sitting on one of the suitcases in an attempt to close it.

Sofia took a camera from her pocket and made a few pictures of that moment. "You look so comical sitting on that bag."

"And what about you help me instead of making fun of my dramas?"

Sofia gave a hand and they eventually managed to have everything packed and neat.

"Did you notice we have the same flights to Kuala Lumpur and London?" Sofia asked happily.

"Yes. We can get seats together. That's so cool. I couldn't think of better company." Denise said sincerely.

"Nice! It seems that we have to go to the airport at twelve and our flight is not until five. They better have a good book shop and some decent restaurants there."

Denise sighed. "I have a friend in Auckland, a girl I worked with on my first contract. We used to be roommates. She invited me to spend the day with her tomorrow. She would pick me up as soon as I finish work and drive me to the airport at three. I asked Leah to let me go as soon as my shift is over but she said no."

"Why? That doesn't make any sense."

"She said I need to do handover with my replacement, so I have to stay after I finish work. I checked the arrival list for tomorrow and my replacement has been in this job longer than I have. He doesn't need me at all." Denise answered disgruntled.

"Once a bitch, always a bitch, isn't it?" Sofia concluded.

"The woman spent the last four months making my life hell. Why would she miss another opportunity to show me she's in charge and I have to do whatever she damn well pleases?"

"Why don't you just leave then? They can't force you to stay."

Denise looked around and opened all the drawers to check that she was not forgetting anything.

"Because if I decide to do one more contract that will go on my record. Even if we aren't on the same ship, Leah has a lot of influence, she knows many people and I'm sure she could still cause me problems. That's why I'll do what she wants one last time." She explained.

"The backstabbing on your department never seizes to surprise me."

"Yes, it's pretty bad over here. I'll just try to remember the good people I worked with, the ones that were a good example and motivated me. I'll always remember Amy. She's the kind of person I want to be like."

"Keep positive, right?"

"Absolutely."

The cabin looked almost empty, apart from the two suitcases packed in the corner and a few bits and pieces Denise was going to need the next morning.

"Aren't you going to take that picture of the wall?" Sofia pointed at a photo of Denise and Diego taken in the atrium on a formal night.

Denise put her hands on her waist and looked at it for a second, remembering perfectly of that particular night. It was right after they had started dating and they looked very happy.

"I don't know. I don't want to leave it there but I'm not sure if I want to take it with me. I don't enjoy looking at it anymore. It makes me sad."

Sofia yanked the picture out of the wall. "Put it in your bag and keep it safe. It's part of your life." She suggested handing it to her.

"It's a part of my life that didn't end very well." Denise observed.

"It's part of your life nevertheless and when it doesn't hurt anymore you will like to look at it again. Remember the good moments."

Denise kept the picture but made a mental promise to get rid of it when she was completely over him. She didn't want to think about him ever again.

After a fun dinner where Denise had to drink water because she couldn't have alcohol and soft drinks didn't go well with the scallops, it was time to go back to the office for one last night on duty.

Sofia was sorry that her friend had to work until the last moment and then go straight to the airport without getting any rest, but Denise didn't mind because that way she would be very tired and could sleep on the plane. It wouldn't be the first time she finished work in the morning, got her bags and went to the bus that took the crew to the airport every turnaround day. That had happened on previous contracts and it was a normal thing for crew members.

The front desk was only busy until midnight with many passengers lining up to get printouts of their accounts but nothing serious happened afterward. Denise closed the accounts once Chris had checked the last details and together with Melissa they printed the final statements for the passengers. By four o'clock everything was in order and ready to distribute through the cabins.

Tom came by with one last plate of cookies and he sat in the back office with Denise talking for as long as they could get away with it.

"I'm going to miss this." Tom said taking a bite.

"I'm sure my replacement won't mind if you bring him cookies." She observed.

"It won't be the same thing. What's next for you?"

Denise revolved the chair childishly. "I don't know yet. I think I'm going to take some time for myself to decide. I might go and visit a friend in Italy for a while. She lives by Lake Como, it's a great place to relax and think. Then I'll see."

"Are you coming back?"

"I don't know. To this ship, never again, to another one, I would have to think about it very seriously. I'm not sure if there is anything left for me on cruise ships."

Tom nodded, knowing how hard that contract had been for her. "Well, if you decide to stay ashore, you'll have to promise to come and visit me in Vancouver some time."

She laughed. "Only if you promise to come to Zurich, or wherever I am."

"Deal."

By five thirty Leah and Kate arrived in the office. Turnaround started very early for them, with a lot of work to do in order to get the passengers out of the ship and all the accounts settled.

At seven Leah called Denise to give her the appraisal that everyone received by the end of a contract. Considering the circumstances, the night manager wasn't expecting anything good, but surprisingly, she was wrong. Leah's comments were small and with little detail, but they were positive. Denise signed, made a copy for herself and thanked Leah with a cold smile before going back to her computer to make a list of the credits that still needed to be applied to some passenger's accounts. Denise would never be able to understand how Leah recognized her skills and professionalism and still gave her such a hard time.

Twenty minutes later she was called to Elaine's office and when she entered the first purser and Kate were waiting for her.

"Denise." Elaine started straight away. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I just received a call from head office. Danny had an accident and he's not badly injured but he won't be able to join us today. We need to ask you to stay with us for another cruise." Elaine said with an unusually kind tone which she only used when she was after something.

Denise looked at her and then at Kate. Several images of unpleasant events flashed through her mind. "I'm sorry. I can't stay." She replied dryly.

"Why? It's just one more cruise." Kate said like it was not a big deal.

"I'm afraid I already made other plans."

Elaine looked seriously upset and Denise enjoyed the moment discretely.

"What are we going to do now? We can't stay without a night manager and there's no way we can get another assistant purser onboard today." She said, hoping to make Denise change her mind.

"I guess you will have to find another solution." Denise replied. "Now if you excuse me, I need to help Ian."

She left the office with her head up and her pride restored. Although no explanations were given, the two of them were smart enough to read between the lines and they knew the only reason she wasn't staying was because they didn't deserve that from her. For months Denise had been treated like a nobody and didn't get any consideration or recognition from them. Now she had the satisfaction to pay them back. Had they been fair to her in the past she would have gladly stayed onboard.

Just as expected, by nine o'clock Denise was ready to go but Leah didn't allow her off the ship before twelve. Humbly, she obeyed and didn't complain. Instead she took the time to have a proper last meal onboard and say goodbye to some people.

She paged Tom and met him in his cabin. He made tea for both of them and they talked until there was no more time left. They avoided talking about goodbyes but it became inevitable when it was time for her to leave.

"Looks like I'm going home..."

"Yeah, looks like it." Tom mumbled not excited about that fact. "Denise, there is something I would like you to remember."

"Tell me." She looked in his big blue eyes.

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I read that somewhere and it makes a lot of sense to me."

Denise felt her voice starting to shake. "Thank you so much for everything, for being such a great friend. You have no idea how much that means to me." She said with her arms wrapped around his neck on a very tight hug.

Tom watched as she walked away in the direction of the dining room where the leavers were gathering.

It was the second time in less than a month that Denise cried someone goodbye, only this time she didn't regret her tears. Tom deserved them.

She joined the group and took a seat near Sofia who had a glorious smile on her face. Together, they waited for the order to go ashore and get on the bus to the airport.

Denise told her friend about the request to extend her contract.

"What are they going to do now?" Sofia asked.

"Not my problem!" She answered with satisfaction.

"Payback time?"

"I didn't look for payback but since the opportunity fell on my lap, it would be stupid not to take it." She replied happily.

"How will they manage without a night manager?"

"They won't. They will have to put Ian back on nights and get him to train Chris. He can be promoted and when Ian leaves next cruise he'll be ready and the person replacing Ian can take over front desk supervisor. That's what I would do." Denise explained.

"What about this cruise? Who would be front desk supervisor?"

"They can give some of the tasks to one of the most experienced receptionist and Leah can split the rest with Kate. It won't kill them if they do it for a cruise. I don't care. I'm going home!" Denise sang happily.

The crew office manager, John, arrived with the box of passports and distributed them together with the documents that had to be given to the local authorities. In half an hour the bus was full and on the way to Auckland International Airport.

From a distance, Denise looked at the Ocean Pearl one last time, happy not to be there anymore. Sofia on the other hand felt a bit sad. Unlike her friend, her time onboard had been wonderful and she was going to miss it. Being with Kieran again was going to make her beyond happy, but she knew she would always remember those four months on the ship as a fabulous time of her life.

When the plane took off later that afternoon Denise waved goodbye from her window seat, happy for taking with her the biggest treasure she ever found onboard: great friendships.

She hadn't made a decision about returning to cruise ships or finding a job on land, or about living in Switzerland or somewhere else; she didn't even know if she wanted to make music an important part of her life again. But whatever happened next, she was determined to stop dwelling on unnecessary misery and find a way to be happy.

As for Diego, it still hurt a lot, but eventually the pain would fade away and he would become just a memory.

"Are you okay?" Sofia asked.

"I'm tired. I think my lack of sleep is catching up with me." She replied looking at the clouds beneath the airplane.

"Get some sleep then. I'm going to watch a movie. Should I wake you up when the food arrives?"

"Sure. We can have one last meal together." Denise smirked.

"Airplane food. That should be memorable." Sofia replied and they both laughed.

* * *

Back on the Ocean Pearl, the calm azure waters of the Pacific Ocean parted majestically, the bow leaded the rest of the ship on its outwardly never-ending voyage. As the beautiful panorama that was the east coast of New Zealand passed seemingly within grasp, Tom walked the promenade deck of the ship and marveled at the stunning vistas passing on the starboard side of the vessel. It was one of those days that made everything worthwhile; calm seas, pleasant temperature and a view that he wished could be frozen in time. As he made his way towards the bow of the ship he looked off again to the shoreline of New Zealand and what he saw brought images of all sorts of beauty to his mind. A small rain shower passing over the rolling green hills combined with the sun, created one of the most beautiful rainbows Tom had ever observed.

His mind circled back to Denise, his good friend who was somewhere on a plane, flying home. He felt choked up. How would this look, he thought, a big tough security guy close to tears on the deck of a ship?

He really didn't care what anyone would think. Life at sea offered many things. The coming and going of friends was the hardest part of it. It was heartbreaking.

As the water slipped by with Tom hardly noticing anymore, his attention was drawn to something swimming close by. A dolphin had come to play. Tom watched as it swam effortlessly by the ship and in that moment he couldn't help but feel the warmth overcome him. Everything is going to be alright, he thought, and he took one long look at the beautiful scene.

He missed Denise already. She had always been a great person and a close friend he had enjoyed spending time with. Seeing how unhappy she was had pained him. She deserved better and he hoped she found whatever she was looking for.

Looking one last time at the water, Tom wondered if he would ever see Denise again. 
