I'm just sitting here, by myself, no one's talking to me.
And they're in there, I don't know what they're doing.
I don't really care, but it's like okay so she
can have a freak out, and basically do whatever she wants.
She has someone there for her, my dad.
And they can just sit there and talk,
and, you know, make sure she's okay.
Well, I'm just sitting here, and I feel like I have no one,
and I'm miserable, and I'm just like trying to be quiet,
and stay calm and stuff,
but I don't know, it's...
This happens a lot so, here we are.
Well, Tara says she feels like she can't
function in the real world.
She says she's angry because her mom left
when she was only 13.
Cristina says she just really couldn't handle
her narcicisstic husband, Jim.
I think we've established that they're not
each other's biggest fans.
She blames his bad parenting on Tara's problems,
and Jim says his 20-year-old, pregnant wife Kelsey
are now jeopardizing Tara's well being.
You feel like you don't really have any options, right?
Yes, it's...
Yeah.
And you haven't prepared yourself a lot for life,
and these two parents didn't prepare you a lot for life.
They allowed you to let your disfunction take over,
and so you didn't complete your education.
You don't have skillsets and all to be competitive
in the real world.
And look, I can't render you a diagnosis here
that would be unprofessional of me to do that.
What I can tell you is what would be on my short list
of considerations,
and I would have a short list of considerations.
And I wanna tell you that,
I do think that anger is your default emotion.
I agree.
It's what you go to because it's the safest emotion.
'Cause see if you go to anger,
then you're less likely to be hurt.
'Cause you've already started a fight.
Right.
So, it's not like you went and said,
hey, listen I really like you and I want you to want me
and accept me,
and then, if you get rejected that's painful.
But if you go in and say I don't want you to want me
'cause I don't like you, and I'm gonna yell at you
and scream at you,
then it doesn't hurt 'cause you never find out
whether they would've let you stay.
Anger is a big part of it,
and I do have the freak outs.
And that happens a lot.
Like almost everyday, but then I go through
a ton of different emotions throughout the day.
Sad, you know, all kinds of different stuff happens.
That's because anger is just the outward manifestation
of hurt, fear, or frustration.
Let's think about this.
All, y'all think about this.
Next time you're at a grocery store,
and you're checking out, and the clerk is being
really rude and short.
Instead of saying, what a jerk.
Just say to yourself, man I wonder what she's hurting about,
or frustrated about, or afraid of.
Yeah.
If you see that, if you look passed the anger
and see what's behind it,
you'll have a very different interaction.
If you just say that about him or her
that's checking you out, you'll have a very different...
And so, when you have all of these outbursts
I don't see the anger,
I just wonder what you're hurting about so badly.
