- The other day in my
Feminist Theory class,
we discussed diversity in media,
and a woman said she wished
"Call Me By Your Name"
had been played by queer actors.
The movie is set in 1983,
when the age of consent in Italy is 14.
I think a lot about toxic masculinity,
and how no one talks about
the kind of sexual agency
we place on young boys,
how they reach manhood and
orgasm at the same time,
come of age literally.
I know there's a
difference between a child
and a teenager close to adulthood,
but when a guy on Facebook says,
"Call Me By Your Name" helped him
figure out his sexuality,
I wonder if he knows
that 17 is still a minor
in most places.
And I'm not saying cis-hetero people
should be playing queer roles, right?
But isn't it funny how the worst part
of this coming of age story
is the two straight men acting in it
but not the queer boy who becomes a man
only after he's been fucked by one,
rose petal legs wrapped
around tree trunk waist
or tiny blossom pulled tight over stem.
I'm not saying we
shouldn't talk about sex,
or sexuality, or love,
or lust, or growing up.
But is it worth staying true to the novel
if it means staying true to a stereotype
where queer men are portrayed
as sexual predators?
Does it sound worse if I say
junior in high school instead of 17?
Master student in college instead of 24?
And I'm not knocking relationships
with a notable age gap,
but I am disgusted by
anyone who isn't disgusted
by movies with minors as love interests.
I haven't seen "Dirty
Dancing" for a reason.
I don't care if "Call Me By Your Name"
is set in 1983 or 2017.
17 and 24 is not a love story.
Do not give me the smallest
scraps of representation
and expect me to call it a full meal
or expect me to go
looking for silver linings
on the silver screen,
not if it means that straight men
can access queerness better than I can,
not if it means that my queer kind of love
is nothing more than a dick for diversity
to choke on the first time.
- [Audience Member] Wow.
- The first time I gave
myself over to a man
who did not deserve to have me,
I thought it was powerful.
I thought he would stay,
leave me with something other than lonely.
I thought it was the
start of a love story.
Hope it doesn't finish when he does.
I looked up at him from my knees.
I thought it was just like the movies.
(audience applauds)
Yeah, I have feelings, guys.
It's a thing.
