

Faerie Brace-Face

Lotus Rose

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2010 by Lotus Rose

Cover image © Ateliersommerland/Dreamstime.com

Discover other titles by Lotus Rose at loteyrose.com

Also by Lotus Rose~ The Corruption of Innocence, MachoPoni: A Prance with Death, The Redemption of Reckoning, SinEaster, The Doll Queen, Mein Poni-Kampf: A Biography of the Leader of the Nazi Ponies, My Brootal Poni: A Very Butch Poni Tale, Dust in Your Eyes: An Erotic Poni Tale

CONTENTS

Darren's Sonnet

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter20

Chapter21

Chapter22

Chapter23

Chapter24

Chapter25

Chapter26

Chapter27

Excerpt from MachoPoni: A Prance with Death

DARREN'S SONNET

Are we truly happy, or are we just naive?

Gazing at the outside, wondering if we'll leave?

Your eyes are filled with all the stars, I've said.

My heart's a juice box, yearning to be bled.

I bare my heart, I give you straw to shove,

So pierce my heart and drink my juice of love.

We'll walk as one, with love that's not denied,

And seek, together, truth that lies outside.

I've said inside your eyes, were all the stars,

But there's no sky for cookies inside jars.

The painted stars, on underside of lid,

Were just illusion, keeping real stars hid.

But what use are all the stars in the sky,

When all that I need, is here in your eyes?

CHAPTER 1

From off in the distance, Darren heard the song, "It's a Small World," which the Tooth Fairy in her ice cream truck played several times a day. He was twiddling a pencil in his fingers, staring down at his notebook on his bed. He ignored the song, like he always did. People said it was a siren song—a deadly lure to trick the fairies into leaving the safety of the summer camp.

He was working on a poem that had stumped him—a poem about Cabby. He had a basic idea, but that was it. The right words often came difficult to him. Maybe he was stuck because he knew that if he finished, he'd have to give the poem to Cabby, and let his true feelings be known.

_Cabby, you're so beautiful,_ he thought.

A feeling of dread came over him as he watched the gemstone of his ring switch colors from red to silver. Darren's ring was synced to Cabby's mood ring, and the silver color was supposed to indicate Cabby was feeling very nervous and anxious. This was the first time Darren had seen it glow that color since he'd given her the ring a few months ago.

He rushed out of his hut.

When he got to the center court, a bunch of the fairy girls were playing volleyball in their customary attire of thigh-high socks, panties and whatever tops they wore. Darren was the only boy in summer camp, so he dressed more plainly. Plus, he didn't have wings like all the girls. He couldn't see Cabby. He tried to remain calm as he asked where she was.

One of the fairy girls shrugged, then said, "I don't know where she is. Probably went to sulk after getting beat three games in a row."

Darren looked around, the panic rising inside, hoping he would see her, so he could stop worrying. Because lately, Cabby had been confiding in Darren, saying she'd been having some disturbing new ideas—like she'd been considering leaving camp when the ice cream truck song rang out. All the fairy girls said to never leave the safety of camp. Because outside was where the Tooth Fairy and faebots roamed—the faebots who always wore veils, because, it was rumored, they hid metal fangs to tear at flesh. Fortunately, a magical protection spell kept outsiders from entering camp.

Darren looked down at his ring. Now the gemstone was completely clear and not glowing at all. That only happened when Cabby was asleep, or... _no,_ she couldn't be dead! He tried to quiet the panicked thoughts. Maybe she'd taken the ring off for some reason?

Darren's heartbeat quickened. He asked the fairy girl in front of him, "Did you hear the ice cream truck recently?" Of course, he already knew the answer, but he was trying to sound casual.

In a bored voice, she answered, "Yeah, a few minutes ago, but it ended pretty quick. A lot quicker than usual."

Darren looked down at his hand that was trembling with fear.

The mood ring was still clear.

_Damn you, Cabby,_ he thought. Somehow he felt certain that Cabby had left the safety of the camp. He'd always felt he was somehow connected with Cabby, psychically.

He asked the group of fairies, "Can you point me to where you last heard the ice cream truck?"

The group of six girls thought for a moment, then two of them pointed to his right. The others nodded their agreement.

Two of them asked him why he wanted to know, but Darren ignored them and began running in the direction they were pointing. He'd never been outside the summer camp and he didn't know what was out there. But if Cabby was in danger, he didn't have to think, he just had to act. That was what love was, he felt.

He ran past the sparkling line in the ground that marked the outside border. Things didn't appear or feel different. All around him was the ordinary-looking forest. He glanced to his right. He could somehow just sense that Cabby was there.

A short distance away, the ice cream truck was sitting silently in the dirt beside one of the roots of a giant oak tree.

Cabby was lying on her back beside the truck. She looked unconscious. A woman with brown hair—the Tooth Fairy—was crouched over Cabby with her fingers touching Cabby's mouth. He was now close enough to see something brown resting on Cabby's shirt, forming a wet spot around it. Vicious looking tools and some sort of cylinder rested on the ground next to Cabby's purse. They looked like they were made of the thing they called metal that everyone in camp feared, the evil material that faebots used in their wings and knives.

Darren ran over, stopped briefly to shout, "Leave her alone!"

He rushed forward—the Tooth Fairy threw something, then something slammed into him, stopping him in his tracks. His arms were bound at his side by what looked almost like glowing red rope.

"Laser lasso," informed the Tooth Fairy, with a face that was perfectly still. The voice sounded masculine. Darren didn't know what a laser was.

Darren's eyes widened. The Tooth Fairy was giggling and giggling, but the giggles sounded muted, as if they were behind something. Her face was frozen in a smile that didn't move at all. And she had the face of a rosy-cheeked elderly fairy, but she had the body of an old man, with gray-haired arms sticking from the sides of the flower print dress.

Darren shouted, "What did you do to her? Did you hurt her?"

The Tooth Fairy answered, "Don't worry. I would never hurt my little Cabby doll."

Darren had never been this close to the Tooth Fairy. The woman's wings looked unlike those of the girls from camp—they looked plastic, fake.

Darren struggled against his bonds, but could not get free. When he tried to move, the lasso shifted his weight to keep him standing in the same place.

The Tooth Fairy raised her arm. She touched the side of her chin. She tore her face off. And underneath was another face, an old man's face that moved and had wild eyes. And the guy held his torn face in his hand—Darren realized it was a mask of some kind. _Glamour._ He could see the real face—it was a kind of face that Darren had never seen before. A male face, which was strange enough, because Darren was the only male in camp and had never seen another one. There were wrinkles in that old guy's face, as if he had been sitting a long time in a bath. The eyebrows were a white color. The skin looked...dull and tight.

The man in front of Darren dropped the mask to the ground, then reached his hand over to grasp something. It was some sort of metal canister with a hose coming out the top.

Darren watched as the man lifted a strange clear thing that was connected to the gray hose—he lifted it up then held it over his own mouth and nose!

The man took a deep breath, then held it for a few seconds.

He spurted a burst of breath and laughter as he removed the clear covering. He bent over and laughed. He seemed to be pointing a little at Darren, trying to speak between the giggles.

The man stopped giggling, then said, in an extremely deep, demonic voice, "I just gave her a drugged taco to sedate her for the procedure. Oh, and some nitrous. Yes, she's okay. Why do we say 'O' 'K' when they're just two letters? Ever wonder that? She's actually better than she's been for a long time. I've made improvements. The nitrous makes my voice deep, by the way. It's the opposite of helium." He started giggling again.

Without thinking, Darren looked down to see the ice cream taco resting on Cabby's chest. He could see now that it had bite marks on one edge.

Then Darren was noticing that Cabby's panties had been removed, revealing the boring, smooth groin skin beneath. Darren had taken care to be polite to that area of a girl's crotch before, but he had to admit to himself, privately, that yes, it was pretty boring. However, many fairies believed that in the times of legend, there had been something interesting there.

Darren gave the man a questioning look. The old man laughed in a demonically deep voice as he pointed at Cabby's crotch then said, "Hah, I caught you looking, but she's perfectly smooth! Nothing for you to see, you dirty boy!"

Frozen by inability to act, he could only ask, "Why?"

"Why my boy toy, only boy not named Roy, I had to check to see if she was pure...perfect. Because she might be the special one. I had to make sure she was worthy of the procedure. When she awakes, tell her, won't you, that she may come to me if she wishes to be perfected."

Darren screamed, "What'd you do to her?!"

The man lifted his arm—a cloud of gas gushed out of the clear plastic mouthpiece—like a thick fog, blocking Darren's view. Then the man seemed to move in slow motion as he approached Darren, as he slipped the mouthpiece over Darren's mouth—it was pumping some kind of gas—the old man was pressing the back of Darren's head to hold the mouthpiece in place.

Darren smelled something sweet in the air, then suddenly everything seemed remarkably funny and he began to giggle. He began to feel disoriented. For a brief moment, he even forgot about the old man standing there.

Darren tried to hold his breath, but he was actually uncontrollably hyperventilating.

_I'm so stupid,_ was his thought as his lungs started to feel numb and tingly.

Then he felt himself getting dizzy, as his eyes began to close. Even though he knew it was just a dream, Darren felt the kisses of Cabby on his cheek as she rewarded him for rescuing her. He felt like he was about to pass out.

His next vision was of the man pointing at him, leering and giggling.

His arms were suddenly free. He became disoriented. His last thoughts were of crawling toward Cabby, to see if she was okay. _I'll protect you,_ he thought.

The above drawing of a fairy holding a doll head is Copyright 2010 by Jessica Delvasto ~ http://nin-uss.deviantart.com/

CHAPTER 2

Darren's head was rising and falling rhythmically. He blearily opened his eyes. After a few moments, he realized he was staring at the blurry upside-down boring area between a girl's legs, and as he shifted his eyes to gaze further, he could see the rows of the blue and white stripes of her thigh socks. Darren raised his head and looked around. He'd been resting on Cabby's tummy. He turned his head to the left. He saw Cabby's beautiful face, her eyes closed. Her chest was rising and falling gently. The ice cream taco on her shirt was a half-melted mess.

He squinted, trying to focus his drugged gaze. He could now see that a red candy heart was resting on her forehead. There were words printed on the candy heart, but he couldn't read them.

But he had to see if Cabby was okay...his eyelids were drooping involuntarily...he nearly lay his head down.

Instead, he managed to say, "Cabby, please wake up."

He shifted his eyes to her face. She murmured, "Just a few more minutes, please."

She seemed to be merely sleeping, like he had been.

The old man and his truck were gone.

He stared with unfocused eyes at Cabby's smooth groin skin. He looked around for her panties but could not see them. Ah, the Vanity of Panties: fairy girls used the designs on their panties to show their individuality or to get attention. It was all just vanity, because if they were humble, they wouldn't wear panties at all, like he didn't. But he almost couldn't blame them, because girls' smooth groin skin was pretty boring, and much like their smooth chest bumps, some body parts were more interesting with clothes on them.

Then her eyes were open and met his. She murmured, "Okay, I'm up. What are you doing here?" She was waving her hands around her face, then gestured toward him and said, "Whoa, help me up."

"Wait," he said, "You have candy on your forehead." He reached out to pluck it up. It was then that he could finally read what the candy heart said. He read the words:

DO

NOT

TOUCH

The candy heart at that instant turned black and cracked down the middle, and he yelped and drew back, repulsed by the thought of touching Cabby.

This startled Cabby, who shot straight up in alarm, flinging the candy heart off her head and causing the ice cream taco to plop to the ground where it wet-kissed the dirt.

"Oh, Cabby I'm sorry! The candy was booby trapped with some spell to keep me from touching you!" He reached toward her arm but was forced to draw his back. "See, it's still in effect." He saw the candy heart on the ground a short distance away. It looked like it had a jagged crack down the middle, though it was still in one piece.

Cabby asked, "Did the Tooth Fairy do it?"

"I don't know, I didn't see. Cabby, are you okay?"

She stood up. "I think so. Are you?"

Darren looked down at himself, then said, "I think I'm okay. Just a little groggy. He knocked me out with some sort of gas."

Cabby opened her eyes wider, then said, "She put me to sleep too. I suppose I shouldn't have taken a bite of that ice cream taco. But she didn't hurt me. I don't think the Tooth Fairy is as terrible as everyone says. She...I just...I dunno... I think there's just a lot that we don't understand."

Darren smiled softly at her.

Cabby nodded, then gave him an unconvincing, tight-lipped smile.

Darren said, "The Tooth Fairy was actually a dude. He was wearing a mask. Do you have any idea who he was?"

Cabby pouted, then shook her head. "I have no idea. I've never met the Tooth Fairy, before."

She looked around, grabbed her magic purse, which could hold many many things, started foraging around in it, perhaps for a wet nap, Darren thought. "Whoa," she said. "What's this?" She lifted out a small parcel, wrapped in gift paper, tied with a ribbon. Opening it revealed a red candy heart. She lifted her hand to read it, saying, "It says, 'I love you,'" as the candy began to glow, and she smiled big, and she leaned her head back and moaned. She hugged herself saying, "Awww I feel so warm and fuzzy and so loved." Then she smiled and the light from the heart glowed off the metal covering her teeth.

Darren drew back in shock. Cabby's teeth had metal squares on them, with horizontal wires running through the top and the bottom. And even though Darren wasn't a fairy, he'd learned to fear iron just like they did. He tried to keep his voice calm, but he pointed, then spoke more loudly than he intended. "There's metal on your teeth!"

Cabby gasped. Her hand rose to her mouth, then felt the front of her teeth. She gasped, then exclaimed, "What is it? What did he do to me?"

Darren replied, "I think they're braces," and he hated the sound of fear in his voice.

Cabby's eyes went wide in alarm. With her finger she tapped at the metal on her teeth. "Fairies can't come into contact with iron!"

Of course, Darren knew that was true. All the fairies said that if they came into contact with iron, their flesh would burn. That didn't apply to Darren, of course, because he wasn't a fairy. Darren asked her, "Is the metal hurting you?"

Cabby's eyes shifted side to side as she thought for a moment, then she said, "I feel sharp edges in my mouth, but it doesn't burn like everyone says it does. Why would the Tooth Fairy do this to me? I can't go back to camp this way! I have to take these braces off!" She looked around frantically. "Where did he go? He left the candy heart. Why?"

She suddenly remembered she was still holding it. She looked down and the candy heart had gone black and jagged down the middle. It still had the words printed on it, though:

I

LUV

U

Darren shook his head. "I don't know what's going on. I saw you needed help on my ring, so I came out here for you. What happened?"

Cabby sounded like she was confessing to something horrible, as she said, "I made a terrible mistake. I heard the ice cream truck song play, and I had decided that today I would go out to it, to see."

Darren swallowed, then nodded.

Cabby continued, "I looked at the menu on the ice cream truck. I wanted a popsicle. She asked me for money, but of course, I didn't have any. But she said she would give me an ice cream taco this time, at no cost. I remember I took a couple of bites. I started to feel very sleepy. Then she put some kind of mask thingy over my face, so I breathed in some kind of gas. I guess that's when I passed out..."

Darren shook his head. "Are you hurt? How do you feel?"

"I feel loved, but worried. Please, let's just get back before they notice I'm gone. Oh, I should have never come back here! I should have listened! I'm going to go back to camp, and I'll be happy and never leave again!"

Darren looked at her sadly, because he knew it would not be that easy. He asked, "But what about the metal on your teeth?"

Cabby looked into his eyes and frowned. She had not looked at him so directly for a long time.

During the next few minutes, try as they might, they couldn't get the braces off, because they were metal-secured-tightly-in-place. Maybe the myth that metal burned fairies was a falsehood, but it didn't mean the fairies of the summer camp would accept it. Metal was something evil that girls like the faebots used, for their fake wings or for their weapons. It belonged outside of summer camp where all the faebots were.

She said, "I will simply be melancholy Cabby from now on. I will not smile—at least in a way that shows my teeth. See, I'm already practicing. You didn't see my teeth just now. I won't open my mouth too much when I speak, at least until I can get these braces removed."

Darren tried to smile reassuringly at her, looking into her eyes. Why did it take a tragedy for Cabby to look at him this way? He said to his beloved, "Let's go back to the camp. Then we can figure out what to do next."

Cabby put the used-up "I LUV U" heart in her purse—she said she still felt a magical feeling of being loved. Darren looked to the wrapper and the ice cream taco on the ground—it was melted beyond rescue. They walked back to camp, hoping everything would turn out okay. While they walked, Darren could see that Cabby was trying not to smile too much when she turned briefly to him, so the edge of her lips formed into a half-smile. But even her small smile made his heart quicken. To him, there was nobody like Cabby.

In fact, he'd often felt like he'd been searching his whole life for her, and had finally found her, even though they'd lived in the same village for as long as he could remember.

Cabby didn't want to discuss her braces, so as they walked, they talked about Cabby's crotch and crotches in general, because Cabby was still pantyless.

As the only boy in camp, he didn't wear underwear, and it was simply known that if there were other guys, they wouldn't either, because there was no need for it.

He and Cabby had been discussing these kinds of things a lot lately, wondering why things were the way that they were. _Why_ did girls have to wear thigh socks while guys wore trousers? Was it just because of conformity? And what was so special about thigh socks that made them the only articles of clothing fairy girls were required out of modesty to wear? In fact, Darren had never seen a girl's bare legs before.

Modern day customs were hard to understand, but things might have been much different in the past. There were the myths of an ancient race of giants who used to roam the earth.

According to the myths, they were sort of like present day people, except their girls didn't have wings and they had hair on their bodies—not just their head. The girls used to have a special dimple on their crotch and boys used to have something called a "trouser snake." They used to dirty dance their groins together to somehow make children of their kind. And each child was made of exactly half of the boy and half the girl. And the girls used to have things called nipples on their chest bumps, that they would use to feed these babies, somehow. And during a season called Winter, these so-called nipples would be used as weapons to poke their enemies' eyes out, so the legends said. And Winter was supposed to be a season when it snowed, but oddly, the snow was cold.

He wasn't sure how much of it he could believe. For one thing, he didn't understand why anyone would want to make children. The camp had always been quite crowded, as long as he could remember. There was no need to reproduce. And why would boys and girls store weird body parts between their legs? It made no sense.

When they walked back into fairy camp, the other fairy girls checked out Cabby's crotch, as they typically did to check out what panties a girl was wearing. But when they saw none, they rolled their eyes as if to say, "how boring."

CHAPTER 3

They both tried to go about their daily activities as usual.

He worked on his pottery, to try to take his mind off things. Then he tried to work on his poem about Cabby a little more, but he was blocked. So he went back to molding vases, which was a hobby of his. A few hours later, Darren discovered something in his pocket. It was a green candy heart—he read the red letters on it:

F

U

His eyes grew wide as he felt the overwhelming magically-enhanced feeling of being hated. His hand suddenly went numb, as if he had been holding ice. He felt a sickly feeling come over him. The heart glowed for a few seconds, then turned black and developed a jagged crack down the middle. Hurriedly, he set the heart on his lampstand, as shivers overtook him. After five minutes, the feeling subsided somewhat, but he could still feel that sense of being hated.

The feeling plagued him all day, until he went to sleep that night, and even then, the magic gave him wretched dreams.

He had a bad night's sleep, but sometime around 4 A.M., he finally felt the spell wear off. It seemed the candy heart magic was temporary.

In the morning, upon waking, he was filled with poetic inspiration. He took his magic notebook out. In his pocket, it was small, but when he made an expand gesture with his fingertips, it grew to full size. He wrote down the poem:

To spare from cuffs, the one you love,

Cut at what the heart does say.

Add a lie to F above,

And cut below 'til it's away.

For as long as he could remember, he'd had psychic abilities and a gift of poetry. Sometimes, he would become divinely inspired, as, in his mind he would hear fully-formed verse. At times, the poems existed for no other reason than their beauty, but at other times, the poems provided guidance and could predict future events. However, they were often presented as riddles that he could not always figure out. And since the poems in his head were heard, but not seen, sometimes he wrote them down incorrectly. For example, he might write "so" when the poem meant "sew."

Sitting cross-legged on his bed, he stared at the words he had written in his notebook, trying to figure out their meaning.

To spare from cuffs, the one you love,

That line referred to Cabby, he felt.

Cut at what the heart does say.

His heart, he had come to realize more and more lately, said that he loved her, but he was too afraid to say it. But the poem was saying he should cut at what his heart said? How could he do that? He felt he would die if he did that.

But then the next line of the poem nagged at him. It said,

Add a lie to F above,

Was the poem saying he should lie to Cabby? Why would he ever do that? He didn't want to do that if it would hurt Cabby.

And the next line disturbed him.

And cut below 'til it's away.

Now that sounded downright violent!

He sat and he pondered, and after a few minutes, he realized that perhaps the poem was meant to be interpreted more literally. Perhaps the heart it referred to was the heart that the Tooth Fairy had left him! The F U heart.

He brought it out and read it:

F

U

Now that it had already been used up, its magic was lost and it was cracked down the middle. _Hmm._ Cut at what the heart does say? Add a lie to F above! Suddenly he realized that if he cut into the heart by adding "LY" after the F, it would say FLY! And then if he cut below the F, at the U, he could make it say AWAY! Here's how:

If he cut a letter A in front of U, then added AY after the U, it would say AUAY...then all he had to do was cut a vertical line down the middle of the U and it would form a W!

He used one of his ceramics tools to carefully cut into the candy heart. As he finished, the heart switched from black to blue and the crack in it vanished.

He didn't know when he would be called to use the "FLY AWAY" heart, but he'd be carrying it with him from now on. He turned his head to the right, as he suddenly sensed that Cabby was in trouble or was about to be, so he went to the courtyard, where she was playing with the other fairies.

CHAPTER 4

He watched Cabby play volleyball. He sat on the sidelines and cheered her. She was more tight-lipped than usual, and it seemed to affect her game. She wouldn't look at him. The way her mouth was set made her look permanently angry.

Her team lost the game. Her eyes flashed anger. She snarled. Then her eyes widened in alarm. She quickly tightened her mouth, then looked around.

Her head froze as she looked to her right. The fairy named Butter was staring back at Cabby with a scowly face.

Butter exclaimed, "Oh my God! What is that? What's on your teeth?"

Everyone turned to look as the red blush flared on Cabby's neck and cheeks.

Cabby covered her mouth then spoke behind it, loudly for everyone to hear. "What? Okay, I have a little broccoli in my teeth, so what?"

Butter shook her head, then said, "That wasn't food, it was shiny, like—"

Darren shouted, "Shut up, Butter! Everybody knows you're just jealous because Cabby's a better volleyball player than you!"

Butter huffed, then turned to glare at him. The fairy girls simply stared at him with surprise. Darren was usually pretty mild-mannered. The distraction had worked.

Butter said, "Shut up, Darren! I know what I saw—this wasn't food—it was—"

Darren shouted, "Jealous!"

Cabby had turned around, and was walking away. No one could see her face anymore. She shouted out for everyone to hear: "To hell with all of you! I've tried to be nice, but you all keep treating me like this! I'm out of here!"

She fluttered away. Darren followed her. She floated away to her hut. When he knocked at her door, she shouted that she wanted to be alone. With his head hung, he knocked a little more, then went back to his hut.

But a few minutes later, he got one of his uneasy feelings again, a sense that Cabby was in trouble. That had been happening way too much lately. He looked down to see that his ring, which showed her moods, had gone clear and wasn't glowing!

He could sense that Cabby had left the camp again. He started running, letting his sense guide his direction.

He stepped on the ground on the other side of the sparkling line marking the outer edge of camp.

All he knew was that he had to help Cabby, the best he could. He ran forward...

CHAPTER 5

Darren followed his feeling. It was almost like he could sense in what direction she was.

After a few minutes, he rounded the corner of a hill.

His eyes widened at what he saw: a gang of about six faebot girls hovering low to the ground, surrounding Cabby. All the faebots wore the decorated veils that covered their mouths and noses. Other than their silver metallic wings, they looked like regular fairies, though it was rumored they had bones and teeth of steel. And other than the veils, they all dressed like the girls from camp, with their magic purses, striped thigh socks, panties and camisole, corset tops, T-shirts, etc.

Cabby was hovering in a body posture indicating distress, with a cigarette in one hand, and a lighter in the other.

The faebot girl who was hovering in front of Cabby wore a general's cap. She held a cigarette too, but hers was lit. In her other hand, she held some sort of metallic can. The other faebots were holding various objects. One was holding a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs. Another held a studded leash attached to a chain. And one girl was holding what looked like a riding crop. The rest held lit cigarettes.

One of the faebots noticed him and they all turned to look at him.

Cabby exclaimed, "Darren! What are you doing here?"

Darren felt intimidated and started stammering, "I—I. Your ring went silent. I had to look for you."

The girl in the general's cap looked down at him, then proclaimed, "Well, well, well, who is this? Your boyfriend? Are you two gonna dirty dance?" She chuckled. She made a motion, then all the girls flew over, then lowered themselves to the ground, forming a circle around him.

The girl with the general's cap beckoned to him. "It's nice to meet you. We don't see many boys around here. They call me Hebbi. That's because I'm the head bitch, you see, the queen bee, that's me. Right everyone?"

All the faebot girls voiced their approval. Cabby crossed her arms.

Meekly, he replied, "Nice to meet you. I'm Darren." He felt it was best to be polite, because he didn't know if the faebots were going to attack or something.

Hebbi said, "Ah, Darren! I bet they call you Darre, don't they, because that would be the obvious nickname choice."

"Yeah, they do."

"Yeah okay, Darre." She turned to look at Cabby, then asked her, "So what is this ring he's talking about?" She briefly poked the cigarette under her veil without revealing her mouth, oddly though, it didn't really look like she was smoking. All the smoke was making him nauseas. Lighters and cigarettes were illegal in summer camp, so he wasn't used to smoke.

Cabby answered, "A magic ring that lets him see the color of my mood ring. I removed it before I left, so he wouldn't be able to tell what's going on."

Hebbi said, "Well, we're gonna have to bring you in and interrogate you, because your story sounds very suspicious. I'll have my girl put the cuffs on you, but they're fuzzy, see? They won't hurt."

_Okay,_ Darren thought, _this is not going well._

Darren looked to Cabby—her jaw had dropped as she looked momentarily speechless. Even though Darren didn't know what was going on, he felt he had to rise to the situation.

So he said to Hebbi, "Cabby is one of my best friends, so if you have a problem with her, you're gonna have to go through me." Cabby pressed her hand to her chest—she looked like she was momentarily overwhelmed with that awwww feeling. Then she went into a tae kwon do stance, and Darren took one too, then said, "So, what is your problem with her?"

Hebbi replied, "We don't have a problem with her. We just want to ask her a few questions. She says she came from the summer camp. Is that where _you_ came from? Since neither of you has ever been outside camp, you really don't know how things are. We just want to teach her, and you."

Darren looked to Cabby. She shouted at him, "Don't listen to them! They're mean girls. They gave me this lighter. They tried to make me smoke cigarettes!"

Darren swallowed hard. Smoking cigarettes was an offense punishable by paddling, at least in the camp.

But three of the faebots were holding cloudy cigarettes in their hand. Periodically, they would slip the cigs under their veils. It seemed inconvenient.

Hebbi said, "We just want to help you—to introduce you to life outside camp. For example, smoking is actually not so bad. It actually provides a protective layer to the lungs. And if she's a cyborg, like she says, it won't be so bad, anyway. Rumors are usually pretty distorted. But I don't think you're dumb enough to believe them. We just want to talk, that's all."

He looked to Cabby. She shook her head.

Hebbi said, "I bet there are a lot of things you summer camp exiles have never experienced. Like this. Hey Darre, check this out." Hebbi lifted the can of hairspray, pointed at him, then sprayed while holding her lit cigarette straight up with her other hand. Darren jumped back as a stream of flame shot through the air like a flamethrower. It was nowhere close to reaching him, though. After several seconds, Hebbi cut the flame off, then cackled at him. "Pretty wicked, huh? I just showed your girlfriend a while ago. You shoulda seen her jump!"

Hebbi spritzed a cloud of hairspray over her hair. Then she tossed the can over her shoulder, and it plunked to the ground.

"Okay," Hebbi said, "Let's just cuff them both and bring them in. I'm bored with this. We've got to go to the party soon. No time for chit chat."

They were going to put the handcuffs on his Cabby! He had to save her somehow! Then something clicked in his mind as he remembered the words of the poem:

To spare from cuffs, the one you love,...

He'd changed the words of the candy heart so that they said, "FLY AWAY," and now was the time to use it! He had to get this Hebbi girl to read it somehow.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out the candy heart. "Okay," he said, "but before we go off to be interrogated, I have a very special candy heart, to give to Cabby, a very special candy heart made specially for her to read...and no one else." Cautiously, he started to hand it to Cabby before Hebbi swooped and wrapped her hand around his wrist. She grabbed the candy, brought it to her face and read it.

Hebbi's eyes popped wide open, and he imagined she must have grimaced underneath her veil, and she recoiled. The candy heart turned black in her fingers. Then it poofed into thin air.

Hebbi said, "Hah! Epic failure! Well," she turned around and faced the other direction. "Bored with this. Come on, girls."

Then they flew away.

Darren chuckled to himself.

He grinned big, then rushed to Cabby, hoping she'd be so grateful that she'd hug and kiss him.

But she turned away.

And his hugging arms were empty, unless he wanted to hug air.

"You shouldn't have come," she said. "You could've got yourself killed."

He lowered his arms sadly. He felt he should just turn around and go back to camp. His good deed for the day was fulfilled.

But he yearned to see her smile again, smile just at him.

She said, "I'm sorry. I'm just so scared. I don't know what to do."

"Why didn't you ask me to come with you?"

"Didn't want to get you involved."

"But I would've come. I'm so...fond of you. I want to help. But why?..."

"The moment he gave me braces of steel, he instantly made me an outcast, instantly made my journey necessary."

"What journey?"

"I must get these braces removed, so I can return to summer camp. Are you coming or not? Either way, I understand."

He nodded.

Then to the side, they heard a high voice exclaim, "Whoa, so sweet!"

CHAPTER 6

To their right, behind a bush, they heard the clapping of little hands, then a little girl's voice proclaimed, "Whoa, that was so cool!" From the behind the bush flitted out a little girl, wearing a veil. Her panties had a picture of a yellow cartoon bird on front, her thigh socks were gray and fuchsia striped. She wore a T-shirt that said "Princess" on it in glittery letters. The girl had regular wings—not the metallic kind. She looked 10—he didn't know how he knew that, since there were no little girls in camp. And one thing that was different about her was that she had _three_ full ponytails, one on the left side, one sticking out the top of her head, then another on her right side. And all these ponytails were lush and swinging due to a seeming overabundance of hair. The effect was breathtaking.

"Hello..." Cabby said warily.

The girl blur-waved at them. "Those magic candy hearts are a rare commodity. I sure wish I had a few to use on those faebot bitches. Do you have the legendary 'I Own You' heart?"

Before they could answer, the little girl pointed at Cabby, said, "I saw you come from summer camp!"

"Yes," Cabby said, "is that a bad thing?"

The little girl said, "Nah, come on, I'll show you the way to the unnaturally moist cookie!"

Cabby and Darren exchanged quizzical looks.

The little girl arched a brow at them, said, "Well, you _do_ wish to acquire and partake of the cookie don't you? I mean, that's why you're here right? You're the Cabby of prophesy?"

Cabby said, "Um, maybe. Yeah, let's go. I don't want to be here if those faebot girls come back."

"Good choice," said the little girl with a nod. "It's that way." She pointed.

Cabby took a moment to pick up the can of hairspray and slip it in her purse. They didn't have cans like that in summer camp, because they contained metal.

Darren felt awkward, because he felt he was slowing them down, since he couldn't fly and they couldn't carry him. He lowered his head and followed. He would never leave Cabby. He felt he would follow her to the ends of the earth.

As he walked, the two fairies hovered in front of him, facing each other, to make it easier to talk.

Speaking to Cabby, the little girl said, "So you probably don't know much about the world outside summer camp, do you? Are you a biological or a cyborg? Well, never mind—it's better if you don't tell me. As long as you're not a faebot, I'll help you. Stay away from the faebots. They keep us biologicals as slaves." This made Cabby gasp, but the little girl continued, "They really suck up to the cyborgs, though."

Cabby said, "Wait, why do they keep biologicals as slaves?"

"Well, the faebots're stronger, so they _can_. And they don't feel bad about it or anything or have morals or anything, because they're robots. Somebody really should do something about it. Save us maybe. I hope that's why you're here."

Cabby said, "Well, we're not from here, so we really don't know what's going on. But thanks so much for your help." Then she smiled.

The child stopped, then drew back in surprise. She exclaimed, "Your mouth, that's so cool! And you have a single dimple! Gross."

Cabby gasped, then covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I'm trying to get rid of the braces. I've always had the dimple."

The little girl shook her head vigorously, then fluttered slightly backward. "Why would you want to get rid of the braces? That's what we all want! I mean, the reason why we all wear veils is to hide the fact we don't have them! Hey, maybe you're a cyborg! Is that, like the real reason why you have metal on your teeth? Is it, huh?"

The little girl's eyes were popped wide, looking at her.

Cabby was at a loss for words.

So the girl continued speaking. "Or did the Creator alter you? Like he did me?" She pointed to her ponytails. "My tri-pone."

In response to their quizzical looks: "Triple-ponytail. The Creator injected me with extra fallibles."

Darren said, "I think you mean follicles."

"Wait, wait," Cabby said. "Look, the Tooth Fairy put braces on my teeth, so I came out here to see if she would remove them."

The little girl said, "Tooth Fairy? You mean the Creator?"

Darren asked, "Is he an old man who wears a mask?"

"Yeah, the Creator right? He likes to dress up as the Tooth Fairy when he's circling the outside of the summer camp. He says it's so he doesn't get recognized."

Cabby lowered her hand, then spoke to the girl without opening her mouth, in a soothing voice. "Can you help us find him? My name is Cabby by the way. What is yours?"

The little girl glanced at Cabby, trying to read her, then glanced at Darren, who smiled, trying to look as unthreatening as possible.

The little girl narrowed her eyes at Cabby. "Of course your name is Cabby. But what's your _number?"_

Cabby drew back, then replied, "Why does everyone keep asking me for my number? This is the second time today that someone has asked me. I don't know my damn...my dumb number, okay?"

Now the little girl drew back, and said, "How could you not know your number? What is _wrong_ with you?"

Cabby replied, "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just not from around here, okay? Now can you _please_ help me? All I want to do is figure out how to get these braces off my teeth. I don't mean to start any trouble, honest. I would be so grateful!" Then she started to smile, but suddenly munched down on her expression, tight-lipped.

"I don't know how you can find the Creator, but it sounds to me like you might be the Cabby of prophesy, and you may be on a quest, so you start your quest by trying to attain the unnaturally moist cookie."

Cabby said, "What's the unnaturally moist cookie?"

"Wow, you really are clueless in summer camp. But the noble cookie is important. I shall inform you. Are you listening? I will speak of it to you the way it was spoken of to me."

Cabby said, "Huh?"

The little girl said, "Okay, well as legend tells us, this cookie is like none other. This cookie, resting in solitude in its mushroom ceramic cookie jar, is endowed with accoutrements unbeknownst. People have speculated. They speak of coconut, of shredded multi-colored marshmallow rainbows, of round and smooth hard-shelled, yet chocolatey-centered disks, all held lovingly in glorious cookie batter base. It sits unsettlingly moist in its dark shelter, waiting for the day of its discovery, when it shall reveal its secrets. They say it is the key. Everything must start there."

"The key to what?" asked Cabby.

"No one is sure. They just know it is very important. So everyone wants to get it. And besides, the Creator absolutely forbids us to get it, which is a good enough reason, don't you think?"

Cabby said, "Yes, in camp we have a saying of 'the allure of the forbidden.'"

The little girl, said, "Yes, we have that saying, too."

Cabby glided her hand down the side of her neck. Darren wished he could feel it. Then she turned her head to the left as if trying to crack it. Then she said, "Well, I really just want to get these braces removed, but if I have to get this special cookie to get them gone, then I want to try and get it. And get back before people at camp notice I'm gone. Can you tell me more?"

"Yuh huh. It's over there." She pointed. "But good _luck._ Nobody has been able to acquire it. Not the biologicals. Not the faebots. Not even the cyborgs."

Cabby shook her head. "Well, would you like to come with us to this cookie? You could be our guide maybe!"

She shook her head vigorously. "No way! There are always faebot girls there. Faebots are mean girls! They keep stealing my cigarettes!" And as if that was some sort of cue to action, she brought out a cigarette and lighter from her purse, struck a flame and lit up a smoke. Then a Motley Crue song started playing from inside her purse. She said, "Oops, that's my phone. I have to get back to the slave colony, or else I'll get another whipping. Gotta go! But it's over there, just keep walking. You can't miss it. And by the way, if you meet any faebots, it's probably the best idea for you to let them know you're a cyborg, you know, so they don't enslave you. Good luck. Hey, maybe we'll meet again, hang out a little bit. But I gotta go now."

As the little girl flew away, Cabby shouted, "Wait, I never caught your name!"

"I know! This conversation never happened."

Then she flew off.

As they walked, Darren filled Cabby in on how he had altered the candy heart. Cabby told him she still had the "I LUV U" candy heart and was carrying it with her. Then Darren brought up the ring.

Would she put it back on?

She answered, "No, not now. I don't want to hurt you. It's like an obligation for you, I realize, and it's not fair to you. But maybe, when this is all over..." She looked at him sadly.

He nodded and they walked in silence, continuing on their miniquest for a moist cookie.

CHAPTER 7

They walked in the direction the little girl had pointed, looking over their shoulders every once in a while, in case the faebots came back. They began to notice a yummy scent on the air. The delicious smell of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.

Darren glanced at Cabby. She was standing on her tiptoes with her nose lifted in the air. She inhaled a deep breath, made her hands into fists, then held them up in front of her, then shouted in an exaggerated fashion, "Cookies!"

She flew up to look around, but couldn't see anything.

They walked a little further.

Cabby closed her eyes and lifted her nose and sniffed. "Mmmm," she said. "The cookie scent is stronger. I think we're close. It's like I can taste the warm, gooey chocolate and the cookie goodness! Oh, I'll feed you one! And I'll blow on it for ya!" She winked.

Darren felt suddenly shy. "The gooeyness might overwhelm me!"

Candy's eyes popped wide in amusement. She laughed, then looked around.

So they walked more, using their noses as guides for cookie acquirement. After a few minutes, they felt they were a lot closer. As they walked, the underbrush became thicker.

As they crouched under branches and stepped over bushes, she said, "Remember my trifecta?"

"You mean your pastry trifecta? Yes I remember: chocolate chip cookies, cream-filled cupcakes, and angel food cake."

She stopped, turned around, put her hand on her hip, and gave him a look. "The last one is eclairs."

Darren feigned surprise. "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. I keep thinking the last one is angel food cake, because that's the food an angel would eat."

Cabby rolled her eyes, but then she smiled. "Nope. Eclairs."

He said, "Remember how you used to wonder how they got the cream inside the cupcakes and the other girls told you there was a screw-on top?"

"Yeah, I tried to screw the top off one and made a real mess of that cupcake!"

"Yeah, that was kind of mean of them..."

She said, "Yeah, it's embarrassing that I actually fell for it. I remember you stuck up for me, though."

"Yeah... Well..."

"Yeah..." she said, then turned, and they kept walking, not speaking.

Cabby was the first to see it.

She squealed and pointed, then exclaimed, "The trifecta. They're all on that bush!" Then she bent over, giggling.Darren looked. There, about twenty feet away was a green bush sitting by itself in a little clearing. On the end of each of its branches were chocolate chip cookies, moonpies, angel food cake, eclairs, cupcakes. But the strong smell emanating from it was of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.

Darren stopped dead in his tracks, and stood straight up, transfixed.

He realized that it was better than a trifecta. It was a polyfecta.

And Cabby was saying, "Now if we only had milk," and she was walking toward the bush, but Darren knew he had to beat her to it.

He began running to the bush, with his arms outstretched.

He heard Cabby's warning voice, in an ignorable part of his brain, saying, "No, wait!"

She was only trying to steal all the cookies and moonpies before he could gather them, he realized, before he could feel their warm gooiness on his fingers, he was now certain, before he could feel their pastry smear on his face. He'd need a napkin. It'd feel _so_ good.

Then as he was running, he heard her yell, "No!" Then there was a flash in his lower peripheral vision, then he was toppling forward, then crashing forward into the dirt. He cushioned his fall with his arms, sending pain throughout his forearms and wrenching his stomach.

She'd tackled him, he realized.

He thought, _What the F? Is this bitch crazy?!_

He looked up at the frantic face of Cabby looking down at him as she fluttered. She yelled, "The bush is not real! It's an illusion! It's actually an oven."

Darren was starting to feel tired of the nagging. But he also felt he was coming out of a spell. "Uh...ven?"

"Yes, it's uh, like a microwave that stays hot. It will burn you if you touch it without, uh, mittens!"

Darren didn't know whether to believe it. He stood, then started walking closer to the bush. "Mittens? See, that's how I know you're lying. Mittens protect against cold, not hot."

Cabby slapped him hard across the face, then grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. Then she slapped him again, then once more. She yelled, "Snap out of it! It's glamour! An illusion!"

Darren blinked in astonishment as the image of the bush shimmered and rippled in front of him. Then he was startled as he saw what replaced it. It was not a little bush at all. It was actually a very large and tall cube made of metal and glass. He looked up at it. "Why does it smell like cookies?"

Cabby answered back, "It has a fire inside. It's used for cooking cookies."

Darren blinked, trying to put his head around the brand new word. "Uh...ven?"

Cabby nodded. "Yes, and it's very hot. If you had gone up to it and touched it, like you wanted to, it would've burned you. You need special mittens to touch ovens, to take the food out: oven mittens. Since we don't have them, we can't get those cookies."

"Well, thank you for saving me. But how did you know about the uhven? I've never seen one in camp."

Cabby grimaced in confusion. "I don't know. I just have this vague idea of it. It's almost like I dreamt it, but can't fully remember. Daddy told me to be careful...of the oven. To not touch it...but I did anyway. And it burned me. Daddy was so angry, but then he saw how hurt I was, and I remember him holding me..." She glanced at Darren, and Darren was looking at her with stunned silence.

After several seconds, she said, "What is it?"

"Cabby, you don't have a Daddy. None of us do."

"I don't?"

"No, none of us do. Don't you remember?"

She shook her head as if trying to snap out of a daydream. "Yes of course, I remember. We don't have parents. We've always just existed. It's better that way. It keeps us safe, like the cookie, protected behind its wall."

"Cabby, what are you talking about?"

"The cookie jar isn't here. This was just a diversion. Let's keep walking."

Darren felt inspired by the moment, and wrote down this poem:

Sweet yummy scents sometimes betray,

And cookies sought become a trap.

Illusion sometimes fades away,

With truth revealed by painful slap.

Cabby said, "I like your little poem! It's like we're on an adventure, and you're the bard chronicling it all!"

"Yes," Darren said, "the cookie awaits..."

CHAPTER 8

They topped the crest of a hill. In a clearing at the base of the hill, rested a large ceramic mushroom. At the base of it sat one of the veiled faebot girls, sitting with her back to the mushroom. She had a single ponytail sticking out crookedly from the side of her head.

As they approached, the faebot was busy repeatedly pressing her thumbs to a hand-held device, and didn't even notice Cabby and Darren for several moments. But then the faebot looked up. She shouted cheerily, "Hey!"

Darren found the faebot's apparent friendliness confusing.

The faebot stood and waved. Darren noticed that the faebot had an extra finger on her hand—an extra middle finger! She said, "It's nice to meet you. I'm number 164."

Cabby nodded graciously, said, "I'm Cabby. This is Darren." She was gesturing toward him.

He smiled, trying to hide the nervousness he felt. He began to speak—

But the faebot held up her hand, extended one index finger to silence him, then said, "Of course you're Cabby, but what's your number? Hold on just a sec. I'm texting." She tappy tappied a few seconds more on her device, then without raising her head, said, "Nice to meet you, Devin."

He replied as nicely as he could, "No, it's Darren."

"Whatever," the faebot said with a dismissive wave. "How bout I just call you hottie? Just kidding."

Darren noticed out of the side of his vision that Cabby had crossed her arms.

Then the faebot looked at them again. Darren was staring at the faebot's hands, though he was trying not too. The faebot said, "Oh this?" She displayed her hand. "Well the Creator liked how pretty I had done up my nails, so he decided to give me two extra middle fingers. He had a couple left over from another faebot girl he had accidentally broken."

Darren had to admit that her fingernails were gorgeously done.

Cabby bit her lip. "Well, didn't the other faebot miss them?"

"Oh no, he messed her up so bad she was dysfunctional. So he used her body for spare parts. But don't feel like my extra fingers make me better than you, because they don't. It's just a lot of people feel inferior to me because of it, when they shouldn't. I mean, I'm not perfect. Not even _I_ can get the special cookie." She gestured with her thumb to the ceramic mushroom.

Cabby smiled at her.

The faebot blinked at her mouth, said, "So, you're a cyborg, right?"

Cabby flashed her metallic grin. "Yes, of course."

The faebot turned her head to Darren, then said, "So do you have a Faesbook? I'll add you."

Darren shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know what it is, so I don't think I have one."

The faebot shot him an incredulous look. "Really? Well how about a Faespace?" She grimaced. "Got one of those?"

Darren glanced over at Cabby, who looked confused too. He turned back to the faebot, then said, "Sorry. Haven't gotten one of those yet, either."

The faebot looked utterly perplexed and drew her head backward. "Why not? Are you socially retarded? Wait..." She read on her device, then she raised her head. She seemed to peer in a closer way at Cabby, then crinkled her eyes, said, "Are you that weird girl from the summer camp we're all supposed to be watching for...with the braces and asymmetrical dimple?" She leaned in, invading Cabby's personal space.

Cabby drew back uncomfortably, covering her mouth and dimple region with one hand. "Who are you watching for? Maybe we should be looking for her."

She shot back with an accusatory, pointing finger. "Don't try to squirm out of this. You're her. And Darren here is a boy, and we have no boys around here. And you are supposably lacking social networking, which is suspicious."

Cabby had just gone silent, waiting.

"So, I have been instructed to warn you not to get into any trouble. Hebbi plans to interrogate you, when she gets around to it. Right now, she can't be bothered. She's going to the party, and I am too, by the way."

"Hold on," said the faebot girl. She tilted her head slightly to read the screen—her off-balance ponytail sifted silkily. "I'm texting with Hebbi. She says to ask you to confirm your compositional status."

"Compositional status?"

"Yes," eyeroll, "are you a biological or a cyborg?"

"Well..." Cabby started uncertainly, then turned to Darren. Darren didn't know why she was looking at him, because he didn't know anything!

"Because," said the faebot, "you look like a biological to me, and if you are a biological, you must of course submit to the superiority of the faebots, or be killed. But then again, you _could_ be a cyborg, because after all, you do have metal parts. Hmmm..."

Cabby sounded surprisingly confident as she said, "I'm a cyborg. See?" She displayed her braces.

"Ah, yes, you do have the brace-face update accessory. That's impressive. But dimple asymmetry. Yuck. Maybe you should start wearing a veil. You aren't the Cabby of prophesy are you?"

She giggled nervously. "I don't think so."

"Yeah, I figure you aren't. But anyway, until I get updated on your status from Hebbi, you are free to come and go. And if you _are_ a cyborg, well then I apologize profusely ahead of time. We could really use you... You should join us faebots. We have fun. Sometimes we kill biologicals and we brutalize them a lot. So I take it, you're here for the cookie?"

Cabby nodded. "I sure am. Is it inside that big cookie jar?"

"Yes, that's what they say. Good _luck_ getting it, though. Nobody can open that damn thing. But you must excuse me. I have a birthday party to attend. I'll probably be back later. If you join us faebots, then you can go to the parties too. We have one every day and they're lots of fun. Maybe we can go to one!" To Darren, she said, "You're invited too, hottie!"

"Thank you," he replied, then smiled.

Then as the faebot turned around, he saw a slot in the back of her neck—he realized it was a USB slot, though he wasn't exactly sure _what_ a USB slot was, or how he knew that.

Then the faebot flitted away.

CHAPTER 9

The cookie jar was a ceramic, large painted mushroom, a little taller than Darren was.

Cabby took a moment to walk around the outside of the jar, then rubbed her chin while peering at it. She said, "So since there are no openings anywhere, do you think I should try to lift the lid?"

Darren shrugged. "I dunno. The little girl said nobody else could get the cookie, so I figure nobody else was able to lift the lid."

Cabby nodded. "I know. But I have to try."

She fluttered up, then placed her hands under the lip of the lid. She couldn't get a good hold, but she tried anyway, flapping her wings and straining. Darren helped her. The lid didn't seem to budge at all.

She looked into his eyes with tears streaming down her face, and said, "What am I going to do? That cookie means everything to me!"

Darren felt so sorry for her, wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, but that might be more than their relationship allowed. "Cabby, why is the cookie so important to you?"

She wiped her tears with a tissue from her purse. "I—I don't know. Maybe because I'm forbidden to have it? I just have this strange feeling. I feel I need to get it before I can move on with what I'm supposed to do, you know?"

"There still might be a way to attain the cookie. I will help you, however I can, okay?"

She stopped crying and looked into his eyes in helplessness. He felt his heart flutter. Sounding truly confused, she said, "Darren, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you come out here for me? I was prepared—I was _willing_ to do this alone. I didn't want to get you involved. Why did you risk everything?"

Darren began to tremble, staring at Cabby in front of him—Cabby who looked like a teary-eyed, winged angel. And he knew he had to tell her what he had felt for such a long time: that he loved her.

And he opened his mouth and tried. "Because..." he said, and his jaw began to shake. "I..." But that was all he could manage. The rest of his phrase wouldn't come out.

Cabby was peering at him with her head tilted. "Yes, what is it?"

Again Darren tried to spill his heart. Again, all that came out of his mouth was, "I..."

He was trembling more. Actually, he was not just trembling. He was actually shaking. He opened his mouth and tried to speak one more time. This time, he couldn't even manage to say the word/letter "I."

Desperately his mind raced, trying to think of a solution, or a way to escape the situation. Suddenly he wished he had a candy heart, so candy could express what his mouth could not.

Now he realized why people used valentine candy hearts. They could reveal the deepest message of the soul without the impediments of the frailty of vocalization.

He mumbled, "I like you."

"Awww... I'm so flattered." He looked down at the ground as she asked, "And you've felt this way for a while?"

He nodded sheepishly. He couldn't meet her eyes.

"Well... I have feelings for you, too. Strong feelings. But I don't know what's gonna happen next." He looked up into her eyes. She said, "Maybe it's best I go on alone. You can go back to camp. They wouldn't even miss you!"

"But I would miss you. And I'd always try to find you."

"Okay, that's it then. You're my companion. If we get through this. I, maybe—we can get more serious."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah, so. Hug?" She held her arms out, and they hugged.

There, holding her in his arms, something awakened inside of him. It was like an energy, a force. Her acceptance, and approval of his feelings brought the magic into flame from an ember.

They released each other from the hug and Darren stood adjusting to the power he was now filled with. The power of poetry.

She asked, "What is it?"

"I—I'm inspired. I must write down this poem. Turn around and bend over!"

He pressed the notebook to her back, between her beautiful wings, and began writing as if he wasn't even composing the words.

CHAPTER 10

Darren wrote the words so quickly he didn't even have time to understand what he wrote.

He lifted the notebook off Cabby's back. "Okay, I'm done," he said.

He read the poem out loud to her:

The cookie sits alone, afraid,

Just like a caged, shy lioness.

The cookie, like your legs, has stayed,

Behind its bars and undisplayed,

So tame, and filled with bitterness.

The cookie's meekness is quite quaint.

It fails to offer up its yums,

And seeks the safety of restraint.

But someone must reveal the taint

Of slavery, that with safety comes.

Your legs defy true nature by choice?

Would a lioness discard its own tail?

And instead of roar, hold back its voice?

Would cookie cry and not rejoice,

At milk, and turn away, and bail?

"What does it mean?" Cabby asked after he'd read.

The notebook began to shake in his hand. He looked up at her. "Some kind of clue, I think."

"May I see it?" she asked, and he handed it to her, and she began to scrutinize it. Her eyes widened as they scanned down the page. "Oh my god," she said as she looked back up at him. "What?"

"I think this poem was meant to be a message to me to tell me how to acquire the cookie. We just have to figure out what it means. I think I might understand it a little. Will you help?"

"Of course."

"Okay, here, stand next to me."

He went to stand beside her so they could both read the poem. It felt good to be close to her.

She said, "Now I believe the poem is referring to my legs, which are not displayed..."

Darren nodded. "Because you always wear thigh socks."

"Yes. The poem seems to be comparing my legs to the cookie, and a lioness for some reason? They're all behind bars?"

"The stripes of your thigh-highs! They're like the bars of a caged animal! No offense. I mean, that's what the poem is trying to say, I think."

"No, it's okay...it's actually something I've been thinking about for a long time. I mean, not the animal prison bars analogy. That's clever. But for a long time, I've been wondering why do we _have_ to wear thigh socks all the time? It's just to fit into society. Maybe my legs really are kind of imprisoned...like a lioness in a cage." Her voice sounded wistful.

"Like the cookie in the cookie jar. The cookie jar is like its cage!"

Cabby said, "Hmm...yes, but how do we get the cookie out of the cage? With a key? What does it mean here where it says, **the cookie's meekness is quite quaint?** "

He said, "The next line, see? It says, **it fails to offer up its yums and seeks the safety of restraint!** I think it is saying that the cookie is _choosing_ not to come out of the jar. And look at this line about your legs. It says they defy their true nature by _choice._ I think it's saying the true nature of your legs is to be uncovered."

"Oh, I get it now. The cookie is locked inside the cookie jar because it wants to be! We were going about it all wrong! Everyone has been trying to open the jar or unlock it, when really they should have been trying to figure out how to convince the cookie to come out! Now how do we do that?"

Darren shook his head. "It has to be in the poem..." For a few dozens of seconds they continued to stare at the poem.

Then Cabby gasped. "Ah! I think I have it! My legs defy their nature by choice. If their true nature is to be revealed, then I can choose to show them—to shed my legs' cage."

"But what does that have to do with the cookie acquirement?"

She pointed. "Look here. **Someone must reveal the taint of slavery that with safety comes.** I believe that 'someone' is me. And one of the best ways to reveal the flaws of something is to do the opposite and show how much better that is. I believe I must 'reveal the taint of slavery' by choosing to show freedom. I must let the cookie see me take off my thigh socks..."

Darren's jaw dropped. "Lead by example..."

"If I'm right, the cookie will then be convinced to give up the false safety of the cookie jar and allow us to acquire it in order to fulfill its true cookie nature."

"Which is what? Are we supposed to eat it?"

She scrunched her mouth uncertainly. "That I don't know. I wonder if that's in the poem too. But first we have to acquire the cookie. Do you think I should try?" She looked at him, and she looked so vulnerable. He wanted to help her through this difficult trial. But a part of him wanted to tell her not to try. There were so many taboos about a girl removing her socks. But it made too much sense. And he _had_ been inspired with the poem—so it was like their destiny to go through this. So he told her she should try, but how, exactly, would she do it?

"I dunno," she said. "I thought maybe I could talk loud about what I'm doing. Maybe the cookie would be able to hear me, or maybe it has some sort of cookie-sense. Whaddya think?"

"It's worth a try." He felt awkward. "Would you like me to, um, turn away while you, um, expose yourself? I'd still be right there if anything happens. I won't look, I promise."

She smiled, sadly, it seemed to Darren. Her eyes looked teary. "No, it's okay. You can watch. If I'm gonna demonstrate to the cookie the wonderfulness of freedom, it wouldn't be very convincing to put my socks back on right after taking them off. No, the sock removal must be permanent. So, yes, I want you to watch. You're special like that." She winked, then averted her gaze.

Darren almost spoke stupidly. He almost told her that there was no way she could return to summer camp without her thigh socks. She would be opening herself to ridicule, and might even be physically attacked. But he was sure she already knew that, so he said, croakily, "Good luck, Cabby"—he hadn't meant it to be croakily, but the words had stuck in his throat.

She didn't speak a word back. She lifted her hand and ran it against his cheek. She nodded while staring into his eyes. Then she turned to the right, drew back a little bit, and looked at the cookie jar lid.

And Darren watched, because he was unable to do anything else.

Cabby rubbed the side of her face, as if she was nervous. Then her arms dropped, her hands were formed into fists. She yelled out at the cookie jar, "Cookie, can you hear me?"

She stood, waiting. There was no response to her question.

She turned and looked back at Darren. He smiled encouragingly. She turned back to the cookie jar. She yelled, "Cookie, I stand before you here today in the hopes that I can inspire you by my example. You see, for as long as I can remember, I have worn thigh-high socks. In fairy society, it is expected and proper. But over time, I began to question why. I realized that there really was no good reason—that the only reason we did it, really, was conformity. But I was too afraid to shed my socks. So I came to realize that the stripes of my socks were like the bars of a cage, imprisoning my thighs, much like your cookie jar is a cage imprisoning _you._ But today, I've decided to..." Her voice began to tremble. "...to shed my legs' bonds and allow them to be free! I hope that I can inspire you by my actions, so that we can be free together. And I sincerely hope that you can then honor me by allowing me to consume you. Perhaps I can even find some milk to dunk you in."

She placed her hands on the top of her left sock. She sounded as if she was crying as she yelled, "Cookie behold!" She looked at Darren and the tears were streaming down her face to match Darren's own. She turned back to face the cookie jar, then yelled, "Behold as I shed these thigh-high socks, and become free!" She began to pull her socks down. She lifted her leg up in front of her.

She removed one sock, then let it drop to the ground. "That's one!" She removed the other sock, then let it fall. "And now I'm free!" She squealed in delight and smiled big at Darren, and he was so proud of her! She yelled at the cookie jar. "Wanna be free with me? Cuz you know what feels good?"

Then she leaned her head back and yelled, "Freeeedooooomm!!!"

Then the emotion seemed to overwhelm her and she flew up and did a backflip in the air. Then she began zooming around, giggling, and circling Darren. "Oh, Darren, I'm so happy!" she shouted, and Darren was laughing and smiling. Then she swooped and tackle-hugged Darren, began planting kisses all over the sides of his face. He felt the glorious feeling of her kisses.

Then she stopped, looked shy. She was blushing. "Oh, I'm sorry. I got kind of carried away."

Now Darren began to feel shy. His heart was beating so hard in his chest, and he realized this was a critical moment, depending on what he said next. He could act like it was no big deal, or, "Don't apologize. I like your kisses and the feel of you in my arms. I think you belong here."

"Gosh." She stared deeply into his eyes and she was blinking quickly. "I—" But she couldn't seem to speak, so it was Darren's turn to try.

"Cabby, I just want you to know, in case anything happens, that I L—" But his tongue stuck. He couldn't say the L word. She was looking at him, making him nervous. "I mean I really c—" The words stuck in his throat. He was trying to say "care for you a lot." But he couldn't even manage to say that!

"Yes?" Cabby said and her eyes were big.

He croaked out, "I C word for...you." He pointed at her. Then since he was having trouble speaking, he drew a heart in the air.

"C word? Darren, what is C for?"

Just then, they heard a loud clanking. They turned their heads to look at the cookie jar. The lid was rattling violently, then began to rattle even more. Then the lid popped off and flew straight up into the air with a loud gushing sound. Then something else flew up out of the jar, shot into the air. The cookie jar lid shifted in the air safely away from them.

The other object went far up so that it hung above them, then it began to descend. They both stood dumbfounded, staring at it. It fell more, approaching them. Before they really had time to think, Cabby lifted her arms in front of her to catch it. Then she caught the chocolate chip cookie that was 1/3 as tall as her.

Cabby didn't even look surprised as she said, "Welcome. Thanks for listening to me, and choosing to be free." But then, she did look surprised. She even gasped.

"What is it?" Darren asked.

"It says..." She turned around, then set the cookie on the ground. She pointed at the cookie—the chocolate chips had rearranged to say:

YW

NP

To both Cabby, and the cookie itself, Darren asked, "What does it mean?"

"You're welcome. No problem," Cabby answered. "That's what it stands for. Wow, I have _no_ idea how I knew those acronyms. But I saw the chips shift to form the letters. We have a new friend." She smiled at the cookie, then said to it, "I'm Cabby. And this is Darren, my...lovely friend."

Darren felt his heart speed up. He waved awkwardly at the cookie. "Nice to meet you."

His jaw dropped as he watched the chocolate chips start to move and magically drift over the face of the cookie until they formed the phrase, "U2."

Darren grinned. He'd never spoken to a communicative cookie before. He grinned at Cabby, but then noticed she was biting her lip worriedly, so, he asked her, "What is it?"

"The little girl described the cookie as unnaturally moist, but the cookie feels uncomfortably dry. It must have dried out after all this time in the cookie jar. I'm not sure it's edible." She pouted.

Darren snapped his fingers. "The poem talked about milk and a cookie's nature. Perhaps there is milk somewhere nearby!"

Cabby was about to reply when the chocolate chips began to shift until they formed the word, "YES."

"Good thinking!" she said to Darren. Then Cabby said to the cookie, "Can you tell us where the milk is?"

They watched as the chips shifted to form the shape of an arrow, pointing at two o'clock if the cookie were the face of a clock.

Cabby exclaimed, "Great! Is it close?"

But this time, the chips didn't shift. The cookie would no longer respond to questions. It just kept showing the arrow. They did discover though, that if they held the cookie flat and moved around, the arrow would shift, like a compass, so they started walking to where the cookie pointed.

CHAPTER 11

They walked for about a half an hour. But then they could tell that it was about to snow. So of course, within thirty minutes it would be too slow to continue to trudge through it, until it lifted. And it was getting late anyway, so they decided to call it a day and let the warm, fluffy snow surround them and make a bed of sorts to sleep on.

They chose to settle in at a small clearing, so they could lie on the snow. They still had some time before it started. There was a stream nearby that they bathed in. Because of fairy magic, they didn't actually _have_ to bathe, but they did it for the fun of it. Cabby had brought some body wash and shampoo in her magical fairy purse—its magic was that it could hold many many things.

They bathed naked together. There was no reason _not_ to, because after all, Cabby had already broken the taboo of shedding her thigh socks. And a girl's legs were the only part of her body she covered out of modesty. And looking at them, Darren could understand why. She had nice legs. Then his eyes roved uninterestedly over her bare, smooth groin area and chest bumps. Frankly, the rest of girls' bodies were pretty boring to look at without clothes.

He preferred the face and eyes... _Cabby's._ All the girls they'd met outside the camp, all wore veils. Because of shame for not having braces? It all seemed backwards to him. He was glad that, as a guy, he was unencumbered by any societal requirements to cover any parts of his body. But then again, it was also strange and lonely that he seemed to be the _only_ guy, other than the Creator.

Darren started hoping they might soap each other up, but that didn't happen. She smiled at him and they bathed with their backs turned to each other, but close. It was nice.

When they went back to the clearing, the soft, fluffy snow had already started and had settled into a couple of inches for them.

They had a little fun before sleeping. Cabby gave him a faux-hawk using the hairspray she'd gotten from the faebots. It was like a new grooming toy for her.

They lay down beside each other with the cookie near them as the snow continued to fall, and they tried to fall asleep.

He smiled as he gazed into her face. Cabby was having trouble keeping her eyes open. She fell asleep quickly.

He watched the snow. Soon it would stop, and stay on the ground for several hours before lifting.

Darren felt his eyes closing too, and he knew he would soon be asleep too...

He heard a high, helium voice saying, "Wake up! Come on!"

Darren struggled to wake up. He rolled over and looked to his left.

That little girl they'd met before was standing beside Cabby. He recognized her from her triple ponytail. The little girl was holding a platter with two glasses of orange juice and a plate with bagels on it. He shifted his eyes. Cabby still looked asleep.

The little girl asked, "You want bagels and juice? You look like you do."

Darren propped up on his arm. "I'd love a bagel. Where did you come from?"

The little girl rolled her eyes. "I live here, silly. Well, pretty close to here. Anyways, I tracked you down. I was worried about you. The faebots are saying they want to enslave you, just as soon as they can very fly that you're biological."

"You mean verify?"

"Yeah. Somebody needs to kill those faebot girls. They are tyrants. That's what the other, big girls call them." She rested the platter on the snow in front of Darren. "The bagels are lightly-toasted. Eat up! You'll need your energy if you're gonna fight the faebots."

Darren grabbed a bagel. "Thank you. But I don't know that we want to fight the faebots."

Cabby groaned then opened her eyes. She looked around dazedly, then said, "I guess it wasn't all a dream, after all. Ooh, those bagels smell yummy. Gimme."

Darren said, "Good morning," as he held the platter out to her.

Cabby reached and grabbed a bagel, then said, "Good morning everyone!"

The little girl chipperly said, "Good morning!" too.

Cabby sat up cross-legged and began eating the bagel. Darren started munching on his too.

When Cabby smiled at her, the little girl tilted her head and peered at her, then said, "Don't ever let anyone tell you you're not beautiful."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're beautiful, just in a different way."

Cabby covered her mouth with her hand self-consciously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, just because you have dimple asymmetry, it's okay. Maybe you can convince the Creator to fix you with his dimple machine."

"Huh? And I don't want my dimple fixed. I'm fine with my single dimple. All I want is to have these braces removed."

The little girl shuddered, then said, "I still don't know why you would want to do that. They're such a big part of Cabby perfection, just like dimplefication is."

Cabby looked confused, then said, "Er, okay. So have you found out how I can get in touch with the Creator?"

The girl shrugged. "Nobody knows where he goes. They say he lives in the Tree on the Edge of the World, but nobody knows where that is. And he doesn't have an online presence. But he drops by the faebot girls' parties sometimes I think. Biologicals aren't allowed to attend. Speaking of online presences, what's your Faesbook, so I can add you. You too, Darren."

Darren answered, "We don't have one yet."

"Oh, well you have to get one, if you want to stay connected and not be an antisocial loser."

Darren nodded. "Yeah, maybe later."

Cabby nodded and grinned at him. She took another bite of her bagel.

"So," said the little girl, "is that the unnaturally moist cookie over there?" She pointed.

Cabby said, "Yes. We almost got burnt by an oven before we got it, though. Why didn't you warn us?" She scowled.

"Well, because every one falls for it the first time. They're so eager for the cookies that some of them actually even _do_ burn themselves. That's what happened to me. But that's part of learning the lesson. I couldn't have told you. It would have been unethible."

Darren said, "You mean unethical?"

"Yeah, that too. So is that an arrow of chocolate chips on the cookie?"

Cabby said, "Yes, it's been pointing in a certain direction, but we don't know what it's pointing to."

"Probably to the Juice Cave."

"The Juice Cave?"

"Yep, that's where you're supposed to take it. Legend tells that there is a magic milk that will cause the cookie to crumble, revealing its secrets."

Cabby sounded delighted. "Ohhh, is that the next part of our quest? And how do we get this magic milk? Do we have to pull a sword out of a rock or something?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Nobody ever told me that part. But the Juice Cave is pretty dangerous. And it is guarded by a bipedal pig."

Cabby bit her lip worriedly. It was actually pretty cute. "So, will it attack us, or something?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I've never gotten close enough to find out."

"So, can you tell us more about this juice cave?"

She shrugged. "I just know what people told me. A few fairies have even tried entering the Juice Cave without the special cookie."

Cabby's brow furrowed. "And what happened to them?"

"They all emerged from the other side of the cave, but they all fell down and were sick, then they died from 'I'll call' poisoning. It came from something they drank."

Darren peered uncertainly into the glass he was drinking from, as he listened. Then he decided not to worry, and continued drinking.

Cabby asked, "How did they get poisoned?"

The girl said, "You know, I don't know, okay? Look, I'm sorry, but it's almost snowrise and I'll have to go so I don't get in trouble. But the most important thing right now is for me to get you online connected, so we can keep in touch for the future. It's very important to maintain an online presence. Let me just hook you up with a Faespace account real quick... So we can stay in touch, okay?"

They agreed, but neither Cabby nor Darren had ever used any electronic devices during their time in summer camp, so the little girl tried to fill them in. And so she quickly explained what a smartphone was and about Faesbook profiles, and how it showed things like gender, age, relationship status, sexual orientation.

They both looked down at the little girl's smartphone, trying to make sense of it. The girl already had her Faesbook account open and gave a quick tour through it. Her screen name was "Tri-pone princess" but, she said, each person was only allowed to use their assigned user name to sign in. However, they could set their screen name to be anything they wanted.

The little girl said to Cabby, "So let me set up your account real quick. So what's your user name?" But then her device started beeping. She held it up to her face. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I really have to go, before I get in trouble. Because it's almost snowrise." She said to Cabby, "Um, I'm sorry, but at least now you know how to set up a profile. You can set one up later. When you do, add me! But I gotta go! Oh, but wait! I almost forgot! One more thing!"

The girl reached into her purse and pulled out a little plastic tub of product. The label said, "Magic Glitter." The little girl handed it to Cabby, then explained, "I think you are the special Cabby of prophesy, so I brought you this special magic body glitter. Whoever uses it, will be covered with really really beautiful glamour that others will not be able to resist! But it can only be used once. So, I'm giving it to you, to aid your journey. Good luck and bye for now!" And then she flew off.

They continued eating, then a few minutes later, as expected, snowrise began.

They sat quietly, and watched it begin as a grin slowly crept up both their faces and they lost themselves in the familiar spectacle.

Just like always, the snow began to vibrate as if someone was sifting it back and forth. Then the first snowflakes began to rise up into the sky, followed by more and more, until it was filled by a white flurry of rising snow, surrounding them.

Then, in less than five minutes from when it started, the ground and trees were back to normal, as if it hadn't snowed, and the snow had disappeared beyond the clouds in the sky.

Beside him, Cabby sighed and it made him sigh too. The moment was over, and now they had to get back to their messed up situation. He took a chance and reached for her hand, and she let him and she gave a reassuring squeeze.

Then they gathered up their things and the pointing, uncomfortably dry chocolate chip cookie. They started walking to where it wanted to go.

CHAPTER 12

They walked for several hours. They came upon a cave on the side of a hill, with a wooden sign painted in red with the words, "Juice Cave." Standing in front of the cave was a creature wearing a T-shirt and no pants or anything.

They approached the cave and creature, while smiling and trying to look friendly.

The figure, who was a bipedal pig, waved, then waited patiently until they got close enough, then he waved again. They got close enough for Darren to read the bipedal pig's T-shirt. It said, "Happy Birthday," written in glitter. The pig had a very round, protruding tummy, and was not wearing any pants. The shirt he was wearing looked a little small on him and was not long enough to cover his boring, smooth groin skin. The impression of his belly button was clear through his shirt.

"Greetings," the pig said, then grinned. They introduced themselves then. The pig's name was Topher. The pig said, "I see you actually have the unnaturally moist cookie. That's a first. So have you come to try to survive the Juice Cave?"

Cabby looked taken aback. "Why, yes. The cookie has actually become uncomfortably dry, but we were told to dip it in special milk until it crumbles. It's even been pointing here."

"Well, you've come to the right place. All the other girls who came here never had a cookie quite as impressive as yours. Most of them didn't have any cookie at all. A few brought their unacceptable cookies. One brought a pack of Oreos. One even brought a cupcake for some reason. And none of them ever came with a boy."

Darren tried to smile disarmingly, "Yes, we're not from around here. I'm sorry if it's an inconvenience."

The pig bowed his head graciously.

Cabby asked the pig, "So what exactly is the Juice Cave, and what happened to those other girls?"

The opening of the cave was behind the pig, who was now crossing his arms. The cave was dark and curved in such a way they couldn't see very far into it. The pig said, "Many have entered. Many do not come back out the other side. The few who do, have died from alcohol poisoning, grasping boxes of wine. They were so out of it, that very little information could be extracted from them."

Cabby asked, "But what's in there? Have you ever been inside?"

The pig chuckled then shook his head vigorously. "Oh no, you'd have to drag me in there. I have no interest in finding out the mystery of some cookie or meeting the monster in there."

Cabby gasped then exclaimed, "Monster!?"

Darren drew in a deep breath, but remained quiet.

The pig nodded solemnly. "Oh, yes. That's what all the ones who came out the other side all said—that there was a monster back there. I always waited on the other side for them. They said they're all dead inside the cave and something about them being cut in half. That's all I've ever been able to get out of them. But I also know something else. Something that could be _very_ helpful to you..."

Darren and Cabby exchanged glances, then Cabby asked warily, "Oh yes? What do you know?"

The pig grinned smugly. "I know a poem. It will provide clues for what to do."

Darren felt his stomach sink. It didn't seem like the pig would tell them the poem freely...

Cabby asked, "May we hear it?"

The pig grinned again. "You see, when those three fae girls came out the other end of the cave, they were each holding a box of wine. They were mostly empty, with just a few drops left. I figure the fae girls had drunk the rest, which is why they passed away from alcohol poisoning. But I almost can't blame them, because that wine was sweet, sweet nectar."

Darren asked, "So you drank some?"

The pig scowled at him, then replied, "Yes, I was about to tell you that."

Darren had to struggle to not snap back at the pig, but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

The pig made eye contact with Cabby, and grinned, as if to block Darren out from the conversation. The pig continued, "So all three times, there was just a little of that sweet, sweet wine left. The girls all passed out and died pretty fast, so after I talked to them, I drank what was left of the wine. There were just a few drops each time, and all I can say is _wow._ It blew my mind. I can't even imagine what it would be like to drink a whole box of the stuff. But okay, to get back to the subject of the poem, each time I drank that wine, I fell to the ground and just lied there for several hours. I was enchanted. And each time, a short poem came into my head—the same poem each time. I believe it is the key to solving and surviving the juice challenge." He grinned big at Cabby. It was obvious that the pig was not even acknowledging that Darren was even there.

Cabby smiled at the pig, nervously, waiting.

As the pig stared creepily at her, Cabby drew her head back, then asked, with an uncertain voice, "May we hear the poem?"

The pig smiled and held his arms out to his sides. "Oh, I'd love to tell you the poem, but before I do, I was wondering if you'd do me a small favor..."

Darren rolled his eyes, but he noticed that Cabby was just still-faced, waiting.

The pig dropped his arms down to his side, then said, "You see, I have a fondness for wearing girls' panties." He gestured with his eyes at Cabby's crotch.

Cabby sounded mildly puzzled. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Well you see, ever since I can remember, I've never had panties, just this shirt that says, 'Happy Birthday.' But I started seeing all the biological girls and faebots with their cute panties with the designs, and I thought to myself, I want to be like them and not be so bland and boring. I mean look at me. I'm not so exciting, am I? I mean," he pointed at his shirt, "whose birthday is it? It isn't mine. Is it yours?"

Cabby shook her head.

"So I want to step my look up a notch."

Cabby gestured with her head at Darren, then asked the pig, "Why don't you wear pants? That's what boys do, at least all the boys I know."

The pig glanced dismissively at Darren, then turned his attention back to Cabby. "First of all, I'm not a boy. I'm a pig. But these 'pants' of which you speak look kinda boring and plain. Do all boys dress so booooringly?"

Cabby nodded, "Yeah, they do. They don't wear pretty things like thigh socks and panties like we do." She looked down at her legs. "Well, I used to wear thigh socks, but I freed myself from their bondage."

The pig nodded. "Well I'm glad I don't have to wear those things. They look uncomfortable. But yeah, I _want_ to wear the panties, so...if you let me have your panties, I'll tell you the poem."

Cabby sounded surprised as she said, "That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. I mean, I _want_ you to make it through the challenge. It's always sad when the girls who go into the Juice Cave die or never come out. I feel like a creep for asking..."

Cabby shrugged. "Oh, don't worry about it. Wearing panties is just a form of vanity, anyway, and I should get over it. I'm glad to help." She pulled her panties down, then stepped out of them, then handed them to the pig.

The pig gushed, "Oh, thank you so much!" He proudly stared at them, while turning them in his hands. "Well, here's the poem. But before I tell it to you, you should know that I have no idea what it means. So it goes like this:

Replace "I pee" with "oh oh" sound,

To stop from going underground,

Then leave ye with the juice,

That doth the cup refuse.

Darren jotted it down in his notebook.

While he and Cabby peered down at it, trying to figure it out, the pig slipped on the panties. He was beaming. He stood with arms akimbo, grinning at both of them. _Ah, the vanity of panties,_ Darren thought.

"What kind of juice refuses a cup?" Cabby asked out loud.

Then she noticed the pig—he had one hand on his hip, and the other held out daintily. Topher the pig noticed them looking at him, then smiled. He put on a high voice that was supposed to sound like a girl. "Oooh, look at me! I'm so pretty! I'm the most pretty pig in panties! Oooh! Couldn't you just eat me up? Uh huh!" He started sashaying around.

Darren rolled his eyes, but Cabby sounded encouraging as she said, "Oh yes, you look great!"

The pig stopped and bowed graciously. He changed to his real voice. "Thank you so much for the panties. I truly hope you make it out, and that I get to keep them."

"Keep what?"

"The panties. The faebots took away all the ones I had before. They're vicious. The biological girls all gave me their panties, but each time, after they died, a bunch of the faebots came and held me down and tore the panties off of me! They said I didn't deserve them, as if I was somehow responsible for their death! But I wasn't! I wanted them all to make it. So they took my panties...but each time, for a little while, I was beautiful." The pig looked like he was about to cry, and Darren felt sorry for him. He looked over at Cabby to watch a tear roll down her face.

She walked over to the pig, wrapped her arms around him and they both sobbed.

Darren watched awkwardly, and Cabby was resting her cheek on his shoulder while cradling his head, and she was saying, "Shhh...it's okay," while the pig was saying, "They took my panties away! They took them away!"

They sobbed a few moments more, then Cabby raised her head and looked into Topher's face. "I promise you, when I come out, I will do everything in my power to make sure nobody ever takes your panties away again!"

The pig smiled. "I'd really like that. I think you might be the special Cabby of prophesy. No one has ever arrived here with that cookie. They say only the special Cabby can solve the mystery of the Juice Cave."

"Wait, what does this prophesy say?"

"You mean, you don't know the prophesy?

"No, sorry."

"Well," said the pig, "can I ask you just a little teeny favor?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Can you pet me a little and nuzzle under my jaw and say I'm a good boy? Please? I'd be so grateful."

"Okay." She did so.

"Well, okay, first, as they always say, it's not technically a prophesy. It's more like a probable outcome, or the mission statement of the Creator, if you will. And it goes verbatimly like this:

"From among the many, there shall arise a very special Cabby, who will be able to acquire the data of the Original Cabby. The Creator will either seek to find, or attempt to create this Special Cabby and make any necessary alterations to transform her into the Perfect Cabby, who he will then download with the Original Cabby data so she'll become the One True Cabby. He will then offer her the "I Own You" candy heart and if she chooses to accept it, she will stand by his side forever."

Darren placed his hand on Cabby's shoulder to comfort her, because she looked like she was about to pass out. Her trembling hand went up to her mouth, as she said, "What does it mean by the 'Original Cabby?' You mean there was another one, before me?"

Topher the pig rolled his eyes. "Well, of _course._ Duh. All the fairy girls are Cabby's. That's why they all refer to each other by their numbers."

Cabby mumbled, "Oh my god. That's why they kept asking me for my number."

"Uh, yeah, I thought you knew. I'm sorry."

"So I don't understand. There was an original Cabby so now all fairies are named after her?..."

The pig said, "Well, not exactly. As far as I understand it, before the New Beginning, there was the Original Cabby. But after the New Beginning, the Creator made numerous Cabby's in an attempt to recreate her. He started out making the biologicals—they're like copies—clones. And he keeps making improvements, in order to one day create the Perfect Cabby."

She asked, "What sorts of improvements?"

"Well, like braces. The Original Cabby had them. He must have thought you were special to give them to you. If he thinks one of the Cabby's is special, he will make the effort of giving her improvements. But he didn't give you another dimple, I see..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he has a dimple machine. If he thinks a fairy is special, he'll give her dimples."

Cabby gasped and unconsciously raised her hand to touch the side of her face.

Darren jumped in, asking, "So wait, what about the faebots? Are they um, are they copies of this Original Cabby too?"

The pig answered, "Yes, the Creator made the faebots, because he thought it might be an easier way to make his Perfect Cabby, after he had tried making the biologicals. But the faebots turned out mean. It's like they don't care, and he couldn't figure out how to make them care. That's why he ended up making the cyborgs, a combination of the biologicals and machines. The cyborgs are a lot nicer. So that's why there's the hierarchy. The faebots rule over the biologicals, and the cyborgs kinda rule over everyone, but they mostly keep to themselves. There's not a lot of them."

Darren said, "But I don't understand. Who was the Original Cabby, and what is the data?"

"I dunno."

Darren said, "Okay, and what about this 'I Own You' heart?"

"It is a legendary magic candy heart. Any one who possesses one can give it to one other person, and if that person then consumes it, then they are 'owned' by the person who gave it to them."

Cabby asked, "You mean like slavery?"

"No no, it's more like a bonding of the heart and soul kind of thing. It's a beautiful thing."

Cabby said, "Oh. So this Creator has one? Or what?"

"Look, there is a lot I don't understand either, okay? I'm just a pig, and nobody tells me much of anything, and I think I should maybe shut up, because I don't want to get in trouble with the faebots. They let me guard the Juice Cave, but you don't know what they're capable of. They could kill me like that." And he snapped."The biologicals say a savior will come someday who will kill the horrible faebots. The biologicals have always been nice to me."

Cabby said, "I will try my best to help you. But can you help me? Is there any information you can give me that might help?"

The pig thought, then shook his head. "I've told you all I can. Sorry. It's part of my duties that I can't give out too much information. I wish I could come with you."

"Okay," Cabby said. She looked to Darren. "Well, I think we better get going."

Darren walked and stood beside Cabby. She reached and grabbed his hand.

The pig nodded then stepped aside. "I will wait for you on the other side. Good luck!"

Cabby answered, "Yes, we'll see you on the other side."

They waved then walked into the cave.

CHAPTER 13

Gravel shifted beneath their feet as they walked. There was dim, flickering light coming from ahead, but the cave curved so that they couldn't see what the source was. As they walked, the light got brighter, though it was still dim. So they continued walking, and rounded the corner.

They marveled at what was before them.

Next to him, Cabby whispered, "Birthday candles."

Large birthday candles the size of torches lined the walls of the room. He had to admit it was a little strange that they were birthday candles, but it felt oddly familiar. In any case, they cast flickering light on the strange sight before them.

A strange creature stood perfectly still, partly obscured by darkness, on the opposite side of a long banquet table,. It was tall, but the torso and upper body of it looked like a small person. It didn't wear a veil. A ponytail stuck straight out the top of the creature's head. One of its arms seemed to be made of metal. The bottom legs of the creature—Darren looked down—well, it didn't have legs—down where legs should be was metallic machinery and black rubber wheels. It was half machine!

The creature didn't react to their entrance. It remained perfectly still.

Darren looked at the objects on the banquet table as they approached it.

There were various juices and cups resting side by side—they looked like they were laid out for display. And they were not in the same scale—some were normal-sized, some were super-sized.

That's when the monster shifted. Its wheels whirred as it started rolling toward them. Then it spoke, in a little girl voice—"Welcome to Juice Cave!" Wow, her voice was _really_ high-pitched.

He could now see that, in one arm, it held a plastic cup. With the other, the metallic one, the monster swept its hand in a slow game show fashion and it creeped Darren out to see its straight-up-ponytail sway slightly. It continued speaking as it wheeled gracefully closer to the opposite side of the table—it actually _was_ graceful, but the sheer oddity of its wheels was way too creepy to a person only used to seeing legs.

The monster continued speaking. "What you see before you is an array of juice. A _menagerie_ if you will. Please forgive my vocabulary. This speech was pre-written for me." Then as the creature wheeled forward into the light, he could now clearly see the face—the monster's face was that of a one-or-two-year-old girl and as she smiled, _four_ dimples popped into her cheeks! And there on its teeth—Darren squinted his eyes—there were braces! He could now see she wore a pink T-shirt with the words, "Daddy's girl" in glittery letters. Her straight-up ponytail was fastened in place with a band attached to colored plastic balls.

Darren recoiled. He heard Cabby gasp to the left of him.

The creature bowed its head. "I apologize. I just so rarely get visitors, that I put myself into hibernation mode. I'm number 337, but I am part of the cyborg series, so most people call me Cyborg14. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm Cabby." She thought for a bit. "Yeah, I don't know my number. We're not from around here."

And of course, Darren said, "I'm Darren."

They both said it was nice to meet her at the same time, which was awkward.

Darren and Cabby laughed politely, then Cabby said, "Ah, so you're a cyborg! So, you're like more advanced than the faebots, right?"

Cyborg14 said, "Yes, I am a combination of wondrous nature and glorious machine. That's why I'm so smart—cuz I have computers in my brain. I am also...a toddler. Well, technically, I _used_ to be a toddler. I had difficulty with coordinated motor skills. Walking was particularly vexing. But the Creator fixed me by giving me wheels. He made other improvements, too. But ultimately the results were less than acceptable for the Creator, which is why I'm stuck in here."

Cabby said, "So who's the Creator, anyway?"

Cyborg14 held her hands out to her sides. "Huh? You really don't know? Anyway, that's really all you're going to get out of me. I mean I'm really here to watch over you as you try to solve the riddles."

Cabby said, "What're the riddles for? Who made them?"

Cyborg14 mimed buttoning her mouth closed.

"What happened to the other fae girls who came here?"

Cyborg14 took a drink from her sippy cup.

"Fine," Cabby said, before setting the uncomfortably dry cookie down. Its chocolate chip arrow had disappeared, replaced by a more conventional chip configuration.

The items on the banquet table were arranged in descending size. Resting on the table from left to right were five items:

1. A large, cardboard, white milk carton, almost half as tall as Darren. If it wasn't super-sized, it would have been a single serving size of milk.

2. To the right of that was a large, empty, glass cup, almost as tall as the milk carton. Darren realized that it would be a good size for dunking the uncomfortably dry cookie.

3. To the right of that was a normal-sized (as opposed to super-sized) box of wine.

4. Next to that was a cup of soup. It was one of those cups that you pop in the microwave, then drink out of. It was also normal-sized, as opposed to super-sized.

5. Next to that was a normal-sized juice box. The flavor, Darren couldn't read from their viewpoint, but the box was red. It was probably strawberry. The label on it said "Troofie Juice." Cyborg14 spoke up after they read that, saying, "Oh, yes, here in juice cave, I have difficulty pronouncing the T H sound, so the label's spelled phonetically."

She was only met with blank stares from them.

So Cyborg14 explained, "You know, like, 'the troof and nothing but the troof'? Troofie Juice."

They rolled their eyes.

Cyborg14 spoke some more: "And it's like what I'm drinking is Yoofie Juice."

Darren asked, "Youthie Juice? And what's that for?"

But Cyborg14 merely took a sip and went back to being silent.

A wooden counter with a microwave on top and a kitchen sink was against one wall. And off in the far edge of the room, in the corner, an exceptionally large chocolate chip cookie rested against the wall. It looked almost as tall as Darren. And written on it in cursive icing were the words, "HaPPy Birthday CaBBykins." Since it didn't bend, it looked like it might be uncomfortably dry.

Darren and Cabby glanced at each other, then tried to muster up reassuring smiles. Neither of them was successful.

She looked to Darren. "Well let's do this. I think we should pour the milk into the cup then do some crazy cookie-dunking. That's the obvious thing to do. But maybe obvious is bad." She bit her lip worriedly.

Darren nodded, then smiled. "Yes, it may be _too_ obvious, but it also may be right. I think the answer may lie in the poems."

They read over the poems again. Then suddenly he realized that he was once again filled with the power of poetry.

"What is it?" Cabby asked, with her brow furrowed.

"Please, turn around and bend over! I have another poem to write down."

She exclaimed, "Oh goody! Another poem!" She turned around, then bent over.

Darren pressed the notebook to her back, then quickly wrote down this poem:

Like cookies crisp, we are, when born.

We seek to swim in mother's juice.

But later, from that milk we're torn!

And so the curse of time's set loose!

And cookies crumble, cups transform,

And juices too, refuse to conform,

Or even change into a food,

**Or** _forsake_ **their cups, or alter mood.**

Long gone's the juice as babes, we sipped.

With mature juice, we're now equipped.

They contemplated the poem for about a minute. It had something to do with growing up and something to do with the changing nature of juice. The poem was confusing. They figured it might apply to the juicy part of their quest, but a lot of times Darren's poems were not clues at all, but mere objects of beauty and sublime truths.

Then they both went to opposite sides of the table to inspect the objects more closely.

Cyborg14 merely watched, calmly looking back and forth between Cabby and Darren, while occasionally sipping from her sippy cup. As Darren walked to the end of the table, he almost gasped, because from this viewpoint he could now see Cyborg14's itty bitty wings. They seemed too small to lift her, because of all her heavy wheels. He looked down at the juice box. It was cherry-flavored. There was no straw attached.

Then on the other end of the table, Cabby _did_ gasp. She was pointing at the back of the milk carton—she was holding her other hand over her mouth. She exclaimed, "It's me!"

Darren shouted, "What's wrong?!" as he began to run. He came up to her and looked down. Cabby was still pointing—her hand was shaking.

Printed on the back of the carton was Cabby's face. Above it in big letters was printed the word, "Missing"—underneath, it said, "Cabalina Wilkins."

She raised her hands and steepled them in front of her face. "What does it mean?"

"I—I don't know."

"Oh, everything is getting so confusing!"

Darren looked to Cyborg14. "What does this mean? How did this milk carton get here?"

Cyborg14 merely made the "buttoning mouth" gesture again.

"Curses!" Darren exclaimed. Then to Cabby, he said, "How can this be? The girls from summer camp?"

Cabby said, "Maybe. But even if they found out, how could they put my info on a milk carton?"

Darren shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe they used one of those smartphones."

"Somehow I don't think so. I think there's lots of strange things going on outside of summer camp."

"Yeah, but let's work on getting this cookie dunked. I think all we'd have to do is pull open the top of this carton. Is it full?" So they pushed on the carton, causing liquid to slosh around inside.

Cabby asked, "But why is there an empty cup? Should we pour the milk into it? And why wouldn't we just dip the cookie directly in the conveniently-sized single-serving of milk?" Cabby pouted. "Maybe we're supposed to pour a different juice in the cup? Like the soup, or the wine?"

Darren tried to think it through. Then he snapped his finger. "The poem! It says, **Juices too, refuse to conform, or even change into a food!** Soup is like a juice that's also a food. It's a juice rebel!"

Cabby nodded, "Yes, I see. But how is that helpful? There must be other clues in the poems."

He brought his notebook out so they could read it.

Darren heard a sound in his right ear, as if someone was trying to whisper something, but he couldn't quite make out the words. He looked around. He looked at Cyborg14, then asked, "Did you say something?"

Cyborg14 shook her head.

Darren looked into the notebook. "But what about this line of **curse of time's set loose?"**

Cabby said, "I think the poem is about people and juice and cookies, growing up and changing. The juices change, become mature...sometimes you can't even be sure that juice will accept a cup. It's kind of sad. Maybe it's all part of growing up: to give up your juice box of childhood for your box of wine, with its juice of adulthood."

He nodded, then said, "I think that's what it's saying. But what confuses me is how the poem says, **We seek to swim in mother's juice.** Yes that may relate to people in a symbolic way, but how does it relate to a cookie?"

Cabby said, "We're like cookies seeking to be dunked in mother's milk? See here, later it talks about cookies crumbling. So the poem seems to be saying that we should dunk it in the milk. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I think it might just be a crappy poem..." Then in his mind's ear, he heard a male voice sing the words, "Red box wine. Make you happy, all of the time." He looked at the box of wine. He looked at Cabby. "Did you hear that?"

She nodded. "Yeah. The box wine seems to be wooing us."

"Yes, remember how the pig said he drank some of it, then was inspired with his poem? Imagine what would happen if I drank some? Imagine the poetry it would inspire!"

Darren felt a tightening in his throat. He didn't notice before how thirsty he was.

Cabby looked at him and licked her lips. She grinned wickedly at him.

Then he heard the box telepathically sing the words:

Juice box wine you make you feel so fine.

Me keep poems coming all of the time.

But then Cabby said something pretty juice-blocking: "But remember how the pig said that the girls came out with boxes of wine, and they died from alcohol poisoning?"

Darren was starting to get annoyed. "Well, they drank too much. They should have drank responsibly."

Cabby said something else, but Darren wasn't listening because her tone was bitchy. He was too busy with the feeling of his mind racing, suddenly figuring things out.

He blurted, "Remember the pig's advice? **Then leave ye with the juice, That doth the cup refuse!** Box wine refuses a cup, so we should take it with us! And we should drink it for its inspiration, but only a little! We'll use moderation. That's what the cup is for! We'll pour just a little into the cup, then we can both sip. It'll be fun! C'mon." He started walking to the box of wine.

"No, wait Darren! Are you even listening to yourself? If we pour the wine into a cup, how can we say that it 'refuses a cup?' But then again, maybe it wasn't meant to be taken so literally. But, wait! No! The juice box! _It_ refuses a cup! That's what the pig's poem must refer to!"

And the box of wine was singing:

Red red wine you give me whole heap of zing,

Whole heap of zing, like corn meal O ring!

And his mind's ear was singing along.

And Darren felt himself filled with rage at this stupid bitch, who had just said something he couldn't believe. He pointed an accusatory finger at her, shouted, "You're a juice-blocker!" How dare she talk about a stupid juice box! It didn't even have a straw! Well, he thought, as he put his hands on the box of wine, he would show this stupid bitch trying to boss him around. He would not only drink the wine, he would chug it out of spite!

She tackled him, knocked him to the ground. It was a surprisingly solid tackle, given their weight difference, but then again, she _did_ have a black belt in tae kwon do.

She was yelling, "No! You're gonna drink it all, and leave none for me, you jerk!" Darren actually picked her up and flung her. He really wanted that wine. Cabby managed to flutter herself to a soft landing.

And the box of wine was going:

Red box wine

Go to my heart

Make me forget

I no want be apart.

_Serves that bitch right,_ Darren thought. He strode and got to the spigot and turned it on. Unfortunately, some wine spilled on the ground and it was still pouring out. Darren intended to hold his mouth under it and drink. He stooped and started moving his head toward that glorious wine-stream.

He heard Cabby shout, "Hey wait, check out my hotness!"

He turned his head while kissing that stream—he took a couple of sips—he was able to see Cabby from the way his head was tilted—he glanced briefly at her. _Oh my god,_ he thought. _She is so beautiful._ Her face was sparkling with purple. He stood up and stared, mesmerized. She was so cute and gorgeous, and the sparkling light of her face looked as if she had just been slobbered by all the stars of the sky.

Slowly, in a daze, he started walking toward her.

He said to her, "Your eyes are filled with all the stars."

She pressed her hand to her chest. "Awww, Darren that's so sweet."

"You're so beautiful," he said. He was close enough to touch her then, so he lifted his hands and pressed them to her cheeks, and he held her face, as he kissed her.

He drew his head back and stared into her eyes, and he smiled, and she smiled back, with what looked like fireflies shooting all around her face. Then she looked behind him. She exclaimed, "Oh no! The wine!"

She pushed him to the side before he could react. He turned around, to see her kneeling on the ground, holding clumpy wet dirt. Wine-mud was gunking through her fingers as she shouted, "It's gone! All gone!"

But Darren only stared dumbly at her. He felt intoxication from the little bit of wine he'd drank. The power of poetry swelled in him.

Then the words of a short poem were entering his mind.

He pressed his notebook to the table, stooped, then wrote down this poem:

CHAPTER 14

Create the lust for juice that's food,

By spawning jealous attitude,

In child who wants to be more grown,

When adult sippy, she is shown.

Cabby walked to his side, then they both read the poem over.

Cabby said, "Hey, I'm sorry I tackled you. And I'm sorry I used the magic body glitter to glamorize my hotness. It was the only way I could think of to get you to not drink that wine. The wine put a spell on both of us."

Darren nodded. "Yeah, it enchanted us. Well, I'm glad you stopped me, or else I might have ended up dead like the other fae girls! I did drink a little, but I think I'll be okay. I'm so sorry I threw you like that. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I wiped the glitter off, so you should no longer be bedazzled. Now let's try to figure out this poem so we can get the heck out of here." She looked down at the paper again.

Darren knew he was drunk, which he was glad for, because it made it easier for him to say what he wanted to. He said, "I meant what I said, before, when we kissed."

She didn't seem to acknowledge his words. Her head lowered slightly and a grin crept up the side of her face.

He turned his head to ponder the poem.

He said, " **Create the lust for juice that's food.** That could be milk, or the soup."

Cabby nodded, then whispered in his ear, "Yes, I think it's referring to soup, because here, it refers to an 'adult sippy.' The soup in a cup is like an adult sippy cup filled with more mature juice! I think the poem is saying we should make Cyborg14 jealous of the soup in a cup, make her want to have it!"

Darren nodded. "But why? What would that get us?"

Cabby shrugged. Then they both stared at the poems again. Darren was having a little trouble concentrating because of his drunkenness. After about a minute, Cabby gasped then asked for his pencil.

She said, "We mustn't let her understand what we're saying. Look here..." She flipped through the pages of the notebook. Above the pig's poem, she wrote the words

sippy cup

Below it were the lines of the pig's poem:

Replace "I pee" with "oh oh" sound,

To stop from going underground,

Then leave ye with the juice,

That doth the cup refuse.

She whispered, "You wrote it down the way it sounds, but the poem is _actually_ referring to letters, see, watch..."

She erased some letters, so that now it read.

Replace "I p " with "o o " sound.

She then crossed out the "ip" in the word "sippy cup." Above those letters she wrote two O's...

Darren blinked in astonishment. The new word was "soopy cup."

She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "We have to make Cyborg14 jealous of the soupy cup so that she'll trade her sippy cup for it. That's what the two short poems together are saying."

Darren rolled his eyes, but then he looked again. It made sense. But why should they trade cups? The poem said it was **to stop from going underground.** Did that mean that they would die if they didn't do it?

Cabby whispered, "Follow my lead. Okay?"

He nodded. Cabby was one smart cookie and he trusted her judgment.

Cabby lifted the cup of soup in her hand. "Whoo!" she proclaimed loudly. "I sure am hungry! I think I'll have some of this soup, in this big girl's sippy cup." They walked over to the microwave. Cabby put the cup of soup in, then punched the buttons. It started warming up. While the microwave whirred, Cabby loudly said, "Darren, did you know that soup is a more mature form of juice, because it is also a food? I wouldn't be caught dead drinking little-girl juice from a sippy cup, like some kind of baby."

Darren said, "Yeah, me neither!"

They heard Cyborg14 squawk from the other side of the cave, "Hey, I'm not a baby!"

Cabby sneered at her, then said, "If you're not a baby, how come you have a little girl's sippy cup? I bet you would be more grown up, with our soup."

"Yeah!" Darren shouted. "Our soup is also a meal!" He immediately realized he'd shouted something stupid, but his excuse was that he was drunk.

Cyborg14 said, "Hey I'm more intelligent and mature than you bof!"

Cabby continued, "You may be smarter, but you're _much less_ mature. I bet you couldn't even _handle_ our big-girl juicy-soup!"

"Yeah!" Darren shouted, "Because it's not Youthie Juice. Oh, sorry, Yooofiee Juiicee?" He almost toppled over as he slurred his words.

Cyborg14 started giggling and giggling.

Cabby asked her, "What is it?"

Cyborg14 said, "Girls have tried that before. Tried to say I wasn't a big girl, because I couldn't handle their scaaarry matuuurre soup." She rolled her eyes. "But I showed them. You know what I think?"

The microwave beeped.

Cabby replied, "What?"

"I think," Cyborg14 continued, "that _you're_ the ones who can't handle _my_ Yoofie Juice. You see, it's magically designed to counteract your grown-up juice and so it would take away some of your _drunk."_ She pointed at Darren. "And that would make you sad."

For a moment, Darren was confused, then he realized it made sense! (In a logic-of-magic sort of way.) The little-girl juice would cancel out the big-girl juice (the wine) and that would take away the drunkenness.

Cabby was busy blowing the steam from the soup, so Darren continued speaking. "So," he shouted at the cyborg. "did you trade juices with the other fae girls?"

"Well, some, but not all of them."

"Why not all of them?"

"I dunno. Some of them didn't ask or nothin'."

Darren wanted to ask her if the ones who hadn't asked had died or had "gone underground" in some way. But then he thought it might be best not to bring it up. "So," he said, "would you like to trade cups? I mean, if you think you can handle it."

She rolled her eyes. "You mean sippy for soupy? Yeah, I can handle that just fine. But I don't _wanna_ be mature. Yoofie Juice keeps me cute and adorable." She folded her arms and scowled. "I mean, why would I want to be mature? Why? So I can drink juice out of a box, then not be able to walk?"

Darren didn't comment on the fact that Cyborg14 couldn't walk anyway. He said, "Well, I think it's _great_ to be grown-up. You know who _doesn't_ want to be grown-up? Immature people, that's who."

Next to him, Cabby took a sip. "Mmmm!" she proclaimed. "This soup is delicious! You know what, let's not trade with her! She's obviously too immature anyway. Here." She held it out for him.

Darren glanced quickly at Cyborg14 before he took a sip. The little girl looked at her sippy cup and pouted severely. Then she watched Darren as he sipped, with longing in her eyes.

The soup actually tasted pretty crappy.

A strange tomato liquid with an oddly chemical tang, with mushy drowned pasta, assaulted his taste buds.

"This is delectable!" Darren proclaimed. "Yeah, let's deny her this wonderful soupage."

"Awww. C'mon. Don't deny me soupage! I want some!"

Cabby grinned. "Well if we let you have some soup, you have to be mature about it okay? This is juice for grown-ups."

Cyborg14 furrowed her brow. "Okay, I can be mature."

Cabby peered at her, seeming to scrutinize her. "Well..." She held the cup of soup out in her hand. "Trade? Sippy for soupy?"

Cyborg14 nodded with a determined look on her face. "Sippy for soupy," she replied.

They approached each other then, and traded juices.

Cabby walked back to Darren, while swirling it around. She handed the sippy cup to him, saying, "Here. You need this more than I do. There's not much left."

Darren looked over at the Cyborg14 as, almost simultaneously, they both raised their cups and drank.

The juice was almost painfully sweet, but pleasantly cold, and red-flavored. He took several gulps—then the cup went empty.

He watched Cyborg14. She was grinning, and she locked eyes with him.

He felt a tingly feeling in the hair follicles of his head, which concerned him, but then Cyborg14's straight-up-ponytail began shifting backward on her head. That was odd, he thought.

It was if an invisible hand was slowly pushing the ponytail to the back of her head until it settled about an inch below the mid-height ponytail position.

Darren looked over to see that Cabby's mouth was hanging open in astonishment. Then he looked back over to Cyborg14, who arched her brow, glancing at both of them before saying, "Ah, I see you have noticed my ponytail migration. You see, as I sip this delectable confection—okay, maybe it's not so delectable. In any case, as I drink this soup, this most mature juice-food has made me more mature. You solved that portion of the riddles. The magical juice of maturity has hastily matured me, and so I will not kill you. Because I realize now that that would be immature."

Cabby and Darren exchanged glances then. As Cabby looked at him, her eyes opened wide in surprise, and she pointed at his forehead. She said, "Your hair!"

Then Cyborg14 said, "Ah yes, Darren, your juice sippage has affected you as well. The magically immature juice of my sippy cup has counteracted the drunkenness of your imbibition of wine. However, it seems to have swung over a bit _too_ far, and caused a slight, _temporary_ condition of immaturity."

Darren felt panic swell inside of him. "What? What's happened?!" He looked pleadingly at Cabby, but she had pressed her hand over her mouth as she continued to stare at him with wide eyes.

So instead, Cyborg14 provided the answer to his question, saying, "You have a bowl cut."

Cabby nodded, then mouthed, "It's true."

Cyborg14 explained, "For, you see, our hairstyle is one of the main indicators of our age."

Darren reached up to feel the front of his head—he now had bangs where he had not had bangs before.

Cabby reached into her purse for a mirror and showed Darren his reflection. He could now see the slightly-crooked line of the bangs of the bowl cut he had when he was nine or something. Had he ever actually been nine? It felt like a vague distant memory. He made a funny face at himself in the mirror, then giggled.

Cyborg14 said, "Don't worry. Your immaturity will be temporary, just like my maturity is."

Darren realized he was completely sober, but now he was immature. He asked, "Why didn't the juice sober up the other fae girls?"

Cyborg14 answered, "They drank too much wine, so there was not enough Youthie Juice to counteract it all. But I've spoken enough. I wish you luck in figuring out the rest of the riddles of juice." She made the motion of buttoning her mouth shut. She stood watching.

Darren shouted, "I want juice!" then he impulsively grabbed the juice box from the table. He pouted though, because there was no straw.

Cabby watched him. "I think we should take it with us when we get out of here, because I think that's what the pig's poem was referring to when he said, **Leave ye with the juice that doth the cup refuse.** The other girls who got too drunk must have thought those lines referred to the box wine, but they just _wanted_ to think that, to keep their buzz going. But box wine doesn't really refuse a cup, because you're supposed to pour the wine into a cup, whereas a juice box serves as its own juice receptacle and so it _truly_ refuses a cup."

Darren set the juice box back on the table to smack his palms together. "Okay, so that part is solved. What's next?"

"Well, the milk and the cup seem to be the last two pieces of the puzzle left, but I don't think we even need the cup. Maybe it's there to throw us off, or maybe we were supposed to pour the wine into it and kill ourselves." She shrugged.

But the glimmer of a thought was forming in Darren's mind. What had the longer poem said? Mother's juice?

"So," Cabby said, while watching him, "I guess we should open up the milk carton and dunk the cookie inside? What do you think?"

Darren suddenly felt a jolt, as he made a psychic connection with the uncomfortably dry cookie.

Then he was thinking, trying to put himself in the position of the uncomfortably dry cookie. Feelings flooded through him/them. Empathy. Maybe the cookie wanted its Mommy...wanted... Mother's Milk. He looked to the corner where the other cookie, the exceptionally large cookie, rested against the wall of the cave. "Wait," he said. "Let's take a closer look at that unconsumably large cookie."

Cabby shrugged, then said, "Okay."

They walked over to the large cookie. As they looked at the back of it, they both drew back, as they saw what looked like cow udders near the bottom of the back of the cookie.

Within a minute, they had milked the big cookie's milk into the cup from the banquet table.

Moments later, Cabby and Darren each held one side of the uncomfortably dry cookie, preparing to dunk.

Darren noticed that Cabby's hands were trembling. They were both worried because of the poem's line of **but later from that milk we're torn! And so the curse of time's set loose!** But they were determined to dunk the cookie.

He gave her a comforting smile, and she gave him a brave smile back.

Together they lowered the cookie 3/4 of the way into the milk. They had decided to hold it like that for five seconds, so they counted to five, then raised the cookie up again.

They watched it. It dripped milk back into the cup.

Then it began to tremble, slightly at first, then it began to shake more and more, then it crumbled apart in large chunks that plunked into the milk, until they were left holding the top part of the cookie.

Darren stared at the churning milk, now dirtied by cookie crumbs, hoping that something would happen, so he could stop wondering if they'd done something wrong.

Cabby said, "What's that?"

Darren raised his head. Cabby was looking at something sticking out of the bottom edge of the cookie remnant they were holding.

He looked at it. It was small. Red. It was definitely not a chocolate chip.

They carried the cookie top over to the ground, then set it down.

They crouched and peered at the object. Darren craned his neck, said, "What is it?"

From across the cave, Cyborg14 answered him, "It's a thumbdrive. Congratulations, you have solved the riddle of the cookie." Cyborg14 rolled to stand over them, then looked down.

Cabby said, "Um, so what's a thumbdrive? Should we take it out?"

Cyborg14 rolled her eyes. "Yes, take it out!"

Darren and Cabby exchanged looks.

"What, you don't trust me? Look, I could _easily_ just kill you with my weaponry, like I did the other fae girls, but I've got another few minutes of maturity left, because of your grown-up juice-that's-a-food. Look, just do it, okay? Don't be difficult."

So Cabby kneeled down and pulled the thumbdrive. It slid out easily. She held it in her hand, turning it over and over. They'd never seen or even heard of a thumbdrive, but it felt oddly familiar to Darren—it was a deja vu sort of feeling.

But Darren was still immature and foolish, so he asked Cyborg14, "What kind of weaponry do you have? I don't see any." He was kind of teasing her.

Cyborg14 answered, "My main form of weaponry is a laser saw. I could slice through you like a hot knife through margarine spread. See?" She made a flicking motion, which caused a flash of light to expand from her wrist, which then formed a sparkly, pink, round laser saw. A second later, it began to spin, making a humming sound, displaying a circle of glowing light, before going still again.

A part of Darren was afraid, but the other part was amazed. He said, "Wow, that's cool! But why do you have a weapon like that? Just to kill fairies who enter the cave?"

Cyborg14 looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean?"

Cyborg14's eyelashes fluttered. "Well, I mean there's a war going on. Guns and explosives are prohibited by treaty. So I was equipped with weaponry to meet specifications."

Maybe Darren should have kept his mouth shut, but he immaturely just _had_ to know what she was talking about. "What war?"

Cabby cut in, "You mean between the faebots and the biologicals?"

With a twinge of anger, Cyborg14 answered, "No, no! Amongst the non-Cabby's, outside the dome!" Then she peered at them suspiciously. "Why are you acting like you don't know? Are you sure you aren't spies or hackers? Trying to gather intelligence?"

Cabby raised her hands in a surrendering gesture, said, "Oh, wait, we aren't spies or whatever. We were just testing you...to see if you're malfunctioning. Um, our side is winning."

"Ah that's good. We must strive to one day attain the perfect Cabby, even though I myself have personally failed in that mission." She hung her head in shame.

"Er, yes. So, can you tell us more about the thumbdrive, before we leave?"

She flicked her wrist so that the laser saw disappeared. "Of course. I must warn you, though, that I only have a few more minutes of maturity left. I will be sure to warn you thirty seconds before I will have to kill you, though. That will be plenty of time for you to leave."

Darren and Cabby both nodded. Darren anxiously looked around, but could see no exit.

Cyborg14 continued, "The thumbdrive holds all the collected personality data from the Original Cabby. It will be used one day to recreate Cabby whenever the Perfect Cabby is created."

Meekly, Cabby said, "But what's a thumbdrive?"

Cyborg14 just stared at her for a moment, then shook her head. "A thumbdrive is a device that holds electronic information. When you plug it into a USB port, it makes it so the information can be transferred. And a USB port is like a socket...every faebot has one in the back of her neck and cyborg girls have them in various parts of their bodies. Also, you can plug them into kiosks that are located in various areas, but you have to go to the special kiosks of the Creator to link directly into the mainframe."

Darren was dumbfounded by all the strange words, but Cabby asked, "So what if we stuck this thumbdrive in your USB port?"

"Well, assuming that the Creator granted permission, it would allow me access to the Original Cabby's personality data and possibly allow me to transfer all the data to myself. But since he's not here, and I doubt you have the authority, I doubt putting the thumbdrive in my slot would do much of anything, really."

Cabby asked, "Could we try?"

Darren jumped in as he asked, "And who exactly is the Creator?"

Cyborg14 looked down her nose at him. "Seriously? You don't have much time left before I kill you."

Darren nodded goofily, immaturely goofy for the situation. "Yuh huh."

"Look," said Cyborg14, "I only have a little bit more time of maturity left. I like you, I don't want to cut you in half. So, rather than me waste time explaining the most basic concepts to you, why don't we just plug the thumbdrive into my USB port and get things moving, okay?" She wheeled up to them, while Darren felt the glimmer of anger from being spoken to that way. Then Cyborg14 moved part of her T-shirt out of the way to reveal the rectangular slot on the outside of the top of her arm, then she plugged the thumbdrive into the slot.

Cyborg14 froze in place. Only her mouth moved as she said, "Preparing to access data. Please wait... Virus detected! But the antivirus will provide adequate protection." She said to them, "I'm denied access. Perhaps you can try. To access the information, please provide your user name and password."

Cabby frowned. "Um, user name?"

"Yeah, you know, Cabby, followed by your number, like I'm Cabby337."

"Um." She shrugged.

"Access denied."

Darren and Cabby exchanged glances. Darren shrugged.

Cyborg14's voice suddenly changed to an old man's voice. "Prepare for prerecorded message. This is the Creator. You are receiving this message because you have attempted to access the data on the thumbdrive from a cyborg unit. It seems, the hacker, Darren, has been at it again, and has introduced a virus, that for a time, compromised the integrity of the mainframe and caused a moderate amount of damage. However, I was able to successfully fend off the virus with an antivirus program. There are still glitches throughout the system, though. The kiosk terminals are immune to the virus, and can read the thumbdrive data just fine. I also installed the antivirus in the cyborg units, but they are not allowed access to Original Cabby data. And the biologicals are, of course, immune to electronic viruses."

The message continued: "However, special care must be taken for the faebots, as they do not have the same safeguards. I didn't install the antivirus in them. It simply wasn't necessary, because the virus has already been isolated.

"It is of course, necessary to refrain from inserting the thumbdrive into any faebots, since it will immediately transfer the virus and they have no immunity. Doing so would temporarily incapacitate the unlucky faebot, plus I believe the virus would then be able to spread throughout the faebots through direct contact, which would be bad for them, I guess. But if all the faebots cease functioning, who cares. They're all vicious bitches, anyway. That's the message, then. I love you, Cabby."

Cyborg14 stopped talking for a couple of seconds, while she stared blankly ahead, then she said in her toddler voice, "That's the end of the message. Also, I'd like to let you know that I'll have two more minutes before my maturity runs out."

She pulled the thumbdrive out of her arm, then handed it to Cabby.

Darren didn't know what to say or ask.

Cabby however, said simply, "Can you give us any advice before we go? Like, where should we go next?"

"I have no idea where you should go. But you should take that juice box." With her finger, she directed Darren to get it, which he did. "And I have been instructed to give you this clue: to bring out the power of the Troofie Juice, you must use a magical kind of straw that both sucks and blows and which you do not drink from with your mouth."

Cabby opened her mouth as if to say something, but Darren interrupted, "Should we take anything else? Like this carton of milk or this empty box of wine?"

"Nah, just the juice box. The carton of milk is rotten. I can tell you that right now. It wouldn't have worked on your cookie. If you'd've tried that, you would have failed. Also, can you do me a favor and leave the sippy cup, please? I'd like it for when I become immature again."

Darren said, "Sure." He set the sippy cup on the table.

Cabby asked, "Can you give us any other advice, real quick?"

Cyborg14 thought for a moment. "Yes, floss daily, because...oops, sorry, time to go before I become immature. Follow me." She rolled to the back of the cave, and they followed without a word.

She went up to a panel on the wall. Cyborg14 pressed a button on the panel.

A screen lit up. It looked like a mirror, showing Cyborg14's face. The screen said, "Please position your face in front of the camera." Cyborg14 moved her head so that it was positioned well on the screen. "Retinal scanning has begun. Please remain still." A few seconds passed, then, "Please present your dimples." Cyborg14 shifted her mouth into a grin that lacked emotion. Her four dimples popped out, prominent and deep.

The panel chirped. "Access granted," it said.

"Open the rear entrance," said Cyborg14. Moments later, a part of the cave wall slid up to reveal the outside, and Topher the pig was sitting with his back against a tree, reading a book—he still wore Cabby's former-panties.

They stepped out, turned around and faced the Cyborg14, who glanced briefly at the pig, then locked eyes with Cabby. Cyborg14 said, "Good luck in attaining perfection. And I wish you success at the next destination of your quest. Seal the exit."

The wall dropped back down.

Just before it did, Cyborg14 flashed them her braces and four dimples.

CHAPTER 15

When they turned around, the pig smiled big and spread his arms and shouted, "You made it! I'm so happy." He ran up and started hugging them tight. "And you're not drunk!"

As Darren whooped and hugged back, he realized that he actually did feel sober, and he felt as mature as he usually did. His hair was back to normal, too. When had the shift happened?

Cabby exclaimed, "Hello, my temporary pet!" at which Topher cooed.

Darren asked Topher if he knew why the juice box was labeled, "Troofie Juice."

Topher's response: "Well, it must be because the juice is 100% juice. So you see, it's not a lie. It's the truth."

They asked Topher if he had any idea what they should do with the thumbdrive and juice box. He said he didn't have many answers because he was a simple pig, _but,_ he said, "There is a kiosk nearby where you can plug the thumbdrive in. It's the closest one. By Club Corruption." He pointed. "It's over that way, very close to the birthday house. But, um, on second thought, I wouldn't recommend going there. As a matter of fact, never mind."

Cabby asked, "So, do you know where we should go to next in our quest?"

He rubbed his chinny chin chin, then said, "Other possible next stop destinations include the birthday party house. There's also the dollhouse." He pointed. "Or you could go to the zoo." He pointed. "And the faebots live over there in a village with their slaves, but I don't know why you'd want to go there."

"Ah," said Cabby, "Well, back up a little. What's this club you mentioned?"

"Club Corruption. Well I've never witnessed it firsthand, because I'm not allowed there, because I'm a pig, but I've heard it's a naughty naughty place, with lots of music and dancing, and debauchery! And the Creator absolutely forbids all the fairy girls to go there."

Cabby whispered, almost to herself, "The allure of the forbidden." Then to the pig, she said, "So of course, they all go."

"Yeah, of course. But I wouldn't recommend it. I don't see how it would help your quest. It just seems like trouble waiting to happen."

Cabby literally squealed. "Oh Darre, let's go!"

The pig pulled a face. "I should learn to keep my mouth shut. Look, I'm just gonna go. I think I've said too much already. I don't want to make the faebots and Hebbi angry." He started trembling.

So after a Cabby-kiss upon the pig's forehead, they headed off in the direction of the club, because Cabby said she felt like getting her party on. The pig decided to stay behind to guard the cave, even though he didn't really know what he was guarding, since the puzzle had been solved.

Darren fist-bumped with the pig as they departed.

A short time later, Darren found himself staring uncontrollably at Cabby.

She stopped walking.

She asked him, "What? What is it?"

He said, "My heart is like a juice box, and if anyone were to drink its juice, I want it to be you."

"Awwww..."

CHAPTER 16

After some time walking, they heard a muted thumping beat in the distance. It was music of some kind. They walked toward the sound, not knowing what to make of it. The music grew louder as they approached, and more distinct. The songs had pounding dance beats with electronic instrumentation. Some songs had distorted vocals.

Then they could see it, sitting inside a glowing fairy ring. Everything inside the circle seemed enshrouded in darkness, like it was nighttime, even though on the outside, it was still late afternoon. They looked at the building with black windows and dance music vibrating its walls—a sign on it said, "Club Corruption." It was surrounded by pavement with street lights here and there.

Darren felt an odd familiarity of the situation, even though he could not recall ever coming across anything like this before—it was like a deja vu feeling. He walked up to the entrance with Cabby following. A burly, metallic robot bouncer was standing outside the entrance with her arms crossed. Unlike the faebots, she looked very machine-like. She was wearing a black T-shirt that said, "Staff" on front.

The bouncer scowled even more as they approached, said, "No guys allowed right now." She looked Cabby up and down. "Only girls. Nice outfit, honey. Porky pigging it tonight, I see."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Yeah. That's hot."

Cabby looked down at herself. "Thank you. So can we please come in?"  
"Yeah, you can come in, but not him. So, you got ID?"

Cabby said, "Err, no, I didn't bring it with me."

For some reason, the robot scowled at Darren, which made him not want to speak.

Then the bouncer turned back to Cabby. "I can check my national id card database if you want me to. Do you give me permission?"

"Okay."

"Look into my eyes." They stared at each other. The bouncer said, "Performing retinal scan now. Accessing. Okay, Cabby1 you can go in, but you're too young to drink, so hold out your hand so I can mark it."

She held out her hand. The bouncer stamped the inside of her wrist with a club stamp, then drew an X on the top of her hand with a marker. Cabby was exchanging looks with Darren. _Cabby1._ "So," Cabby said to the bouncer. "I'm number one?"

"Yes, according to the database."

"And um, am I the only one with that name, who um...matches the..."

Darren helped her out. "She wants to know if anyone else would match the retinal scan."

The bouncer said, "You mean, like identical twins? Siblings? Nope. Because of the complex structure of the capillaries in the retina, each person's retina is unique. Even identical twins do not share the same pattern."

Cabby nodded at Darren, and he could tell what she was thinking. They now knew Cabby's user name. Cabby said, "Well, that was very interesting. I never knew that before about retinal scans, but hey, can I take off real quick and come back? Do you have a kiosk close by here?"

"Yes." The bouncer pointed. "ATM's on the side of the building."

As they were walking, Darren decided he would try to hack into the thumbdrive—he felt he would be good at it—it would be second nature, even though he didn't know how he knew what hacking was.

They saw the kiosk. It was an ATM built into the outside wall of the club. It had a keyboard, a screen, and a USB slot.

Darren inserted the thumbdrive. It all started feeling like second nature. The screen prompted them for a user name and password. "Please let me do this," he said to Cabby. "I think I know what to do." The user name, they now knew. He typed in "Cabby1." But they didn't know her password. But he knew what to do, because underneath the entry fields, were the words, "forgot password?" He moved the arrow on the screen to click it. It was like it was all coming back to him, something in his nature awakening, and it felt good. He felt a grin creep up the side of his face as he felt the joy of a good challenge.

"What's that?" Cabby asked as she read over his shoulder, because now, on the screen, it was prompting them to answer three security questions in order to reset the password.

He said, "If we can answer these questions, we'll be able to get in."

There were three questions:

What is your favorite color?

What is the name of your favorite pet?

What is the first name of your first boyfriend or girlfriend?

He turned to her. "I think I know what your favorite color is."

"Yeah," she answered. "Purple of course."

So he typed that in for the first question.

He said, "Hmm, now to the second question. Favorite pet?"

"Well, I've never even had a pet before. There were never any animals inside summer camp. Can we leave it blank?"

"No, there has to be something entered. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

She nodded. "The closest thing I've had to owning a pet was a while ago, with Topher, so he would be my 'favorite' by default."

So Darren typed that in for the second question.

"Um, uh." He cleared his throat as they both stared at the third question. "Um, Cabby?" His hands started to tremble as he held them over the keyboard, so he drew them back.

"Hmmm. So the third question, is first name of my first boyfriend?" She pressed her fingertip to her chin playfully. "Who could that be? Hmmm." Then she grinned and leaned over, pressing against his shoulder and she poked each key with her fingertip, so it said, "Darren."

He turned to her and said, "I'm glad."

Shyly, she looked down, then back up, then he could see her blushing radiantly beneath the lights illuminating the front of the kiosk.

She kissed him on the cheek, and then it was his turn to blush. He said, "Well, let's see if we answered correctly."

He hit the enter key and it went through without a hitch. The screen asked them to reset the password. As he typed it into the screen, it only displayed asterisks for each character, so Cabby couldn't see what he was typing. He chose the new password of "ILUVCABBYKINS"...he would tell her later.

He hit enter, and then they were in the system!

The screen displayed, "Access to Original Cabby data at this terminal is currently limited to her online journal and public posts on social networking accounts."

"I have an idea," she mumbled while still staring at the screen, "about how we can figure out where to go next to get the magic straw."

"Yeah? What's your idea?"

"If this thumbdrive holds data of the Original Cabby, maybe the answer can be found somewhere in it. Somehow I get the feeling that a lot of things that have been happening to us lately, are somehow tied to this Original Cabby's life. But how would we be able to find the answer? We'd have to look through millions of pieces of data."

He struggled as he felt formerly submerged knowledge struggle to come to the surface. "There is a way of finding specific information on computers. You...search keywords." He pointed on the screen. "There! It's a search box."

"I don't understand." And of course she wouldn't. They had lived all their known lives in the summer camp, never having had access to computers.

"I think I know what to do," he said, as he thought for a moment for some good words to search for. "Remember the clue that Cyborg14 gave us, about the magic straw that both blows and sucks?"

"Yuh huh."

He shrugged. "Why not just search for it?" He typed in the words, "sucks" "blows" and "straw."

He hit enter. The screen flashed. Then they were gazing at these words from the journal of the Original Cabby:

~*~

I had a reely strange thought today. Wanna know what it is? Well, today, I was thinking about needles and stuff because of dad's sub abuse problo and stuff and the thought just popped [pop} into my head that a needle is kinda of like a special kind of metal **straw** kinda, that not only **sucks** juice up, but also **blows** it out. Ewww gross, right?!?! not that I would ever do that. I was just thinking about it. I mean, I'll be honest. I like the pills lately, but I would never inject. I mean, I don't want to have metal sticking all inside my body!! Hey, I'm like a fairy~>we're allergic to iron or whatever!! Ha, sorry, I've been all faerie obsessed lately. Kay, well that was my thought for the day. TGIF!

~*~

Cabby whispered, "Whoa, and the magic word is 'needle.' But I don't know what that is. Do you?"

"No, doesn't ring a bell."

"Well, it _kind of_ rings a bell for me. It's a weird feeling kind of like..."

"Deja vu? Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately myself."

"Yeah, it's weird. Why is that? Do you think maybe I have some of the memories of this Original Cabby, but maybe I just don't have all of them? Does that make sense?"

"That could very well be possible."

"But what about you? Was there an original version of you too?" Then she laughed as if it was a silly idea, but then she stopped. They realized that it really wasn't so silly after all.

"I dunno." He peered at the screen. "So I think we need to be searching for some kind of 'needle' next, to use the Troofie Juice. But this journal entry doesn't provide clues."

"What if we searched the word 'needle'?"

He typed it in.

~*~

3 entries found:

First entry:

so I did it! I pierced my nipples! I guess I'm not allergic to **needles** after all! Next step, shooting up!!! JK!! **Needles** are such a turn on! I need to get my tongue pierced!!!1

Second entry:

So dear old dad showed up at my birfday party. He seemed so sweet I almost bought it but then he asked me if I had roofies and THEN I found the used **needle** on my bathroom counter. I mean cmon. Not only is he junkie, but he's a sloppy junky. So I ended up hiding it in the dollhouse he gave me. It somehow seemed right. poetic justice or something. And you know what, when he gave the dollhouse to me, he even said he wished I was like the doll...you know, smooth...down there. What a lunatic. But you know what the sick part is, that, sometimes I almost wish I COULD be smooth down there, to please him. Yeah, well, soooo other than that, the party was cool.

~*~

The third entry was a repeat of the first entry they'd read.

Cabby seemed perplexed. "Why would Original Cabby pierce her nipples? A fairy girl would _never_ do that. First of all, because we don't have nipples, and second, we'd be too afraid of the metal. Something makes me think this Original Cabby was not a fairy girl at all."

Then suddenly the screen went blank, then a message flashed:

Access no longer allowed.

They both swore at the same time.

Darren strongly suspected it was the Creator's doing. He had somehow found out and cut off their access.

Cabby said, "The dollhouse."

Darren nodded. "I remember."

"We're going to the dollhouse. And if my hunch is right, we'll find the needle there. And then we'll figure out what's so great about this needle."

Cabby rose high up into the air, then looked around while shading her eyes with her hand.

"I think it's over there!" she shouted, then pointed. "At least it looks like the dollhouse. It's purple and green! There's another house too, but I don't think that's the doll house. I think the other one is that birthday house Topher was talking about."

She landed next to Darren then playfully gave him a peck on the cheek. "But first, I need to hit the club."

"Err, Cabby, can't we just skip that part? Maybe we could go to the dollhouse right now?"

She laughed it off. "Oh, you heard what Topher said. It's the allure of the forbidden, sweety! I won't be long, I promise. I'm just curious."

When they walked back to the entrance, Cabby asked the bouncer if she knew where she could find a needle. But the bouncer only replied with the odd response, "Hey, don't ask, don't tell, sweety."

Cabby said to Darren, "Wait for me, okay honey?" Then as she was stepping inside, she absently said to him, "I love you."—at least that's what he thought she'd said—but it had largely been drowned out by the music from the open door.

And he stared at the closed door with a warm glow filling his body. Had she really said she loved him? Then he noticed the bouncer staring at him. "Um, sorry," he said. He turned away, gazed into the forest surrounding the outside of the fairy circle.

He stood outside the club, waiting for nearly half an hour.

Then Cabby reappeared from the door, her eyes glazed, staring blankly ahead, her hair disheveled.

She was holding two plastic cups.

"Cabby. Cabby! Are you okay?" He touched her arm.

She walked a little more, then smiled lopsidedly. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm great." She was slurring her words, and swaying. She handed him a cup. As he took it, she said, "Wine."

"Cabby, what happened in there?"

She locked eyes with him, then. "Oh, Darre, it was wonderful. I was corrupted! But I'm sworn to secrecy. I can only tell certain things, because what happens in Club Corruption _stays_ in Club Corruption." She rose a finger to her lips. "Shhhh."

"And corruption's a good thing?"

"Oh, yes. They said I looked so sweet and wholesome wif my braces, that they wanted to corrupt me, and they did! I was defiled, they called it."

"Defiled?"

"Yes. Ooh, and I got tape. They say it's magical. It has the magical ability to cover T's. They call it 'black black' tape because it's blacker than black." She giggled. "Ooh, I made a rhyme! Wait, no I didn't! Oh, sorry, I'm a little tipsy."

Darren looked around as if wanting to see. "Cabby, where's the tape?"

She giggled. "It's on my body. I put four pieces on my chest bumps! Ooh, I mean 'boobs.' Didja know that the anatomical term for chest bumps is boobs? Well it is. I learned that in there. I got a bunch of other things too." She smiled big and tilted her head unsteadily. "I asked them about a needle, but they said I would have to get my own. But they gave me handcuffs, a blindfold, and a straight-edge razorblade for, you know..."

"Um, no I don't know."

Her mouth swished. "Ermm...sorry what goes on stays in, you know. Anyway, they're in my purse. Maybe they'll come in handy."

He took a sip of the wine.

She said, "I'm about to go in again, just real quick." She went back before he could protest.

He scowled and turned away from the club with his arms crossed. He stared into the dark, lost in thought.

Then the wine inspired him and another poem came to him. He pressed the notebook to the side of the building so he could write it down.

Use black black tape that covers T,

To hide the troof, so none can see!

For still, the troof is there, just hid,

Like cookie underneath a lid.

Some eyes can only see the roof,

And don't want to drink in the troof.

But let him drink, and do not scold,

So troof pokes out, like nips in cold.

CHAPTER 17

He couldn't understand the poem, so he went back to sipping and waiting.

He felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around, expecting to see drunken Cabby, he found himself face to veiled face with Hebbi with her general's cap.

"Hiya," she said, and he could imagine she was grinning wickedly underneath her veil. She said, "I can see your girlfriend left you out here all alone. She doesn't appreciate what she's got."

"Um well, they said they had too many guys."

She fixed him with a look. "Too many guys. I doubt anyone said that. Seriously, besides the Creator, have you even _seen_ another guy, ever?"

She waited for Darren to reply, then as he stammered, she cut him off. "Of course you haven't. It's a total clam bake in there. I've even known some girls who temporarily change their Faespace and Faesbook orientations to lesbo while they're in there. But you know, that's boring. No girl can ever give me what I want." She winked.

He gulped. "Wh—what's that?"

"Boy lips. You know, boys used to have something between their legs that I might want too, but that was before the New Beginning."

Darren replied, "Oh, okay. Maybe I should go and get her out of there. We were just about to go back to the summer camp anyway." He thought it would be better if he lied.

"Ah," said Hebbi, stepping closer. "She's probably having way too much fun to want to be interrupted right now."

Darren looked around, trying not to show his rising panic. He wondered if the bouncer would step in if things got out of hand...or if Darren called for help. "I'll wait for her though. Look I'm sorry about earlier, when I gave you the FLY AWAY heart."

She nodded. "I understand. You were afraid of me. You're so far from home. Now you're standing in the dark, outside a big, bad club, a drink in your hand, with a hot girl." Then to drive her point home, she leaned forward, added, "A queen bee type, who's wearing a general's cap." She chuckled.

This was taking a weird turn. He had started out afraid that the faebot was going to attack him, but now, she was...coming onto him?

She asked, "Do you think I'm pretty? Like your girlfriend?"

"I uh, well, yes, but the veil."

"Ah yes, we say we wear the veil because we don't have braces. But I'll tell you something, I have braces too, but they're just—well the Creator messed them up. But all you have to do is close your eyes..."

Darren swallowed hard. Okay, now he was _definitely_ getting a bad feeling about where this was going. "I uh, maybe I should go check on Cabby. She's been in there for quite a while now."

A bit of menace crept into her voice. "Wait, I'm not done talking to you yet. I don't want to have to hurt you. You know us faebots are very strong, right? Like I could tear your arms off, no problem." She made a gesture, like tearing the arms off a doll.

Darren just nodded, not wanting to agitate her.

Hebbi continued, "You see, the Creator thought I was special too, just like he thought with your girlfriend. But I am even _more_ special because I rose up to become the leader of all the faebots. So he tried to perfect me. He gave me braces too."

Did she want a compliment? The most he could manage was to say, "Oh, well, that's good."

"Yes, but, well, he got a little carried away. Like many of his projects. But it doesn't bother me. Us faebots don't have strong emotions like you biologicals. For example, I could tear your girlfriend apart when she comes out that club. Make all the red juice come out. I wouldn't care in the least. But I'll spare her life if you do two things for me."

He squeaked out, "What?"

"First is, you convince her to submit to my superiority and become my slave. And the second thing...you can do for me, right now..."

"What's that?"

"Kiss me. Just close your eyes and kiss me. I've never kissed a boy before."

Darren stammered, "Oh, actually, it's really no big deal. No different than kissing..."

"A girl. Yes, that's right. Many. Sometimes I change my Faesbook sexual orientation. For just a little while. But only because there are no boys around."

"I just don't see—"

She cut him off. "Just close your eyes!" Then behind her, he saw Cabby emerge from the club door, unnoticed by Hebbi.

Hebbi said, "Oh, fine!" She pointed two fingers toward her own eyes, said, "Look into my eyes and tell me what you see!" He did as instructed, without thinking. Hebbi grabbed something out of her purse, then lifted her hand up to fling some sort of sparkly purple substance into her own face!

Within an instant, he realized it was probably magic glitter, but it was already too late.

But Cabby was still creeping behind Hebbi, almost directly behind her now. He hoped she would do something quick.

Hebbi said, "So, my little Darre bear, I didn't think you'd agree, anyway. So I brought some magic glitter." She cackled. "So now I guess you _have_ to kiss me. It will be all the more delicious for the taste of your submission. See, we faebots don't have a whole lot of emotions, but we relish cruelty. So," she lifted her hand to touch her veil, "are you ready for me?"

Darren had to admit he was, even as he saw Cabby bringing the thumbdrive out from her purse. He remembered that if it was inserted into the faebot, it would temporarily incapacitate her and infect her with the virus.

But, he was looking at the faebot in a completely different way. There was actually something _very_ sexy about a girl who took charge, who lead inferiors, who _controlled._

And she had such beautiful eyes. With all the whizzing sparks around them, it was like they were filled with stars.

As Hebbi pulled the veil away, he wanted very much to kiss her,

then he saw what was underneath.

It was Cabby's face, except in this twisted version, the braces had missed her teeth entirely—her face was ravaged by five lines of metal braces that punctured the skin of her face, forming a crudely-drawn star shape. His eyes followed the train tracks. They stapled Hebbi's nostrils closed at the top of the star shape, punched through her cheeks and clawed at each side of her face and ran just above her upper lip like a metal girlstache—it all twisted her mouth into an oddly happy-lip-sync-looking train wreck of an expression. He shuddered at the horrificness of it, but he still wanted to kiss her. Would he have felt the same if it wasn't for the glitter? He didn't think so, but that's why they called it magic.

He looked over her shoulder—he could see Cabby nodding with her eyes closed, encouraging him to kiss Hebbi by making a kissy face.

He held his arms out, and gave his best smile to Hebbi.

Hebbi exclaimed, "Ooh!" then wrapped her arms around him. She didn't feel like a robot at all-she felt like girl.

Darren rested his chin on Hebbi's shoulder. He peered at Cabby—she had her head canted to the side, listening with her eyes closed. Was she keeping her eyes closed so she wouldn't be taken in by the glamour?

So for Cabby's sake, Darren said, "It feels so good to hug you."

Hebbi replied, "And I you! But you still haven't kissed me..."

Cabby squinted out of one eye, then closed it again. She raised the thumbdrive up for Darren with her hand. She pointed at the back of Hebbi's neck. Darren grabbed the thumbdrive. He strained his neck trying to see the thumbdrive slot as Hebbi asked, "What are you doing?"

And Cabby put her hand on top of his, helping to guide it. He pushed the thumbdrive into the USB slot, felt it go fully in.

Hebbi froze in place, frozen in her hug. She asked for a user name and password.

That's when Darren told Cabby he'd changed the password to "ILUVCABBYKINS."

Cabby blushed.

She relayed the info to Hebbi. Her eyes were still closed.

Hebbi said, "Very well. Preparing to access data. Please wait. Accessing... Please wait..."

While Hebbi was apparently frozen in place while accessing, Cabby was busy bringing handcuffs out of her purse. And they weren't fuzzy. Since Hebbi's arms were still wrapped around Darren's neck, Cabby handcuffed them together.

Darren lusted after Hebbi's face which was crackling with magical glittery sparks, while Cabby slipped a blindfold over Hebbi's eyes.

Then the spell wore off and Darren recoiled in horror from the train track train wreck inches from his face, and slipped out from the cold metallic grasp. He told Cabby the glamour had fizzled, so she opened her eyes.

Then, with only her lips moving, Hebbi said, "Virus alert. This unit has been infected. Please remove the thumbdrive. Please provide the antivirus."

Cabby said, "Antivirus denied," then she pulled the thumbdrive from the back of Hebbi's neck.

Hebbi started to move, but the motions seemed mechanical.

Her stance shifted until she was standing straight, with her handcuffed arms in front of her.

Then she began to make raspberries with her tongue, repetitively, rhythmically, for about five times.

Finally, she seemed to regain awareness. She struggled against the handcuffs and tried to shake off the blindfold. When that didn't work, she said, "Ooh, you're gonna be sorry you did that did that."

Cabby smiled cruelly at Hebbi. "Are you threatening us?"

"Why yes, I am, cyborg. You see, the thing about you cyborgs is that you have biological bits, and biological material is weak, isn't it? I could tear you to shreds to shreds."

"Would you?"

"In a heartbeat. I think you've annoyed me long enough. I've tried to be nice to yoooooooooooooo..."

"Grrr." Cabby said. She reached into her purse and pulled out the razorblade.

Hebbi, without moving, said, "oooooooo..."

Darren's eyes opened wide. "Cabby, what are you doing?" He glanced over at the bouncer, but she was turned so that she wasn't watching them. _I guess that's part of 'don't ask, don't tell.'_

Cabby said, "I'm just getting tired of dealing with this obnoxious bitch. Maybe I should, you know, use this."

"I don't think so, Cabby. Violence is not the answer. Just let it go. We can take off."

Hebbi, finally stopped saying "oo." She wasn't moving.

Cabby said, "I dunno. Maybe I should slice her throat. Probably wouldn't kill her anyway, right?"

"No, Cabby, I won't let you do it. Let's just go. This is over."

Darren took her hand and they fled together.

They knew that the thumbdrive had the virus, and Hebbi had been infected with it, but "The bitch deserved it," Cabby said, but the look in her eyes said she might be feeling some guilt. Darren was worried the virus might kill Hebbi, but Cabby didn't want to accept that possibility—she thought Hebbi might "be sick for a while," but would get better, and Darren really hoped she was right. He didn't press the matter.

CHAPTER 18

They began walking toward the dollhouse.

Within about fifteen minutes, they saw it~

It looked clunky and not that large. Darren would hardly have described it as a doll _house._ It was at most, a doll _hut—_ boxy, with only three walls per room. It was made of green and purple plastic. Oddly, it was surrounded by a large patch of sand strewn with various torn, old-looking garments. Glowing lines set in the ground formed a big square that separated the sand from the ground outside. A short distance away, a concrete sidewalk led through the sand to the dollhouse.

Cabby exclaimed, "It's like a giant sandbox!"

Darren and Cabby both exchanged looks, but neither knew what it meant, so they shrugged and walked toward the edge of the sandbox.

They were about to cross the line when they heard snickering behind them. Cabby and Darren both turned around to look. Sliding out from behind a tree, was the head bitch of the faebots, Hebbi. She hovered staring at them, squinting mockery at them, with one arm akimbo. The handcuffs were still around her wrists, but she'd broken the chain somehow. Then another faebot flitted out to hover at her side.

Hebbi said, "Where do you think _you're_ going?" Then she leaned her head back and cackled.

Darren turned his head. Cabby had drawn back. She straightened up.

Then Cabby said, "We're going to the dollhouse. Why, do you think we shouldn't?"

Hebbi rolled her eyes. "Well, it doesn't matter what I think, my dear. The fact of the matter is, that you _can't._ The dollhouse is haunted. Not even the faebots can get past, and if _faebots_ can't get past, there's no way a _biological_ could. Yeah, that's right, I know you're a biological. I've done some checking up on you. But it will be funny to watch you get torn apart, so you know what? Go ahead."

Darren did his best to hide his reaction. He felt that Hebbi might be bluffing. Seemingly-calmly, he watched.

The other faebot's eyes narrowed as she met Cabby's, then the faebot said, overly sweetly, "Hey girl! Remember me? From the cookie jar?"

Cabby put on a friendly smile and crinkly-waved, said, "Oh hiii!" in a high-pitched voice. "How are you?"

"Oh, heyyy," she answered, high-pitched. Then she switched to cruel-voice as she said, "Fuck you, biological bitch."

Cabby's smile plummeted into a pout. Meekly, she said, "I'm not a biological, I'm a cyborg."

The faebot said, "You're lying."

Hebbi said, "Yeah, no use pretending anymore. We've confirmed with our sources. You're bio-trash. Slave material. How sad for you. Boo-hoo boo-hoo." She reached into her purse, pulled out a piece of cloth and pretended to wipe tears, then blatantly opened the cloth so they could see—they were Cabby's former-panties that she'd given to Topher.

"Topher!" Cabby shouted. "Did you hurt him?"

"Hurt him? Oh no, I didn't hurt him. Not yet. But I told But I told But I told..." She froze for a few moments. "...my girls to put a leash on him. We'll whip him tomorrow, then make him our pet, oops, I mean, our slave. And from now on, his name will be Panty Pig! Buh dee buh dee, that's all, folks!"

The faebot beside Hebbi, who was nodding and probably scowling beneath her veil, then displayed all four of her middle fingers, while making flinging motions at Cabby.

"Well, whatever," Cabby said. She gave a dismissive wave, but Darren could tell she was more upset than she was letting on. "So how is the dollhouse haunted? By ghosts?"

Hebbi said, "Figure it out yourself, bitch."

Cabby bit her lip. She said, "Fine, we will."

Cabby grabbed Darren's hand, then together they began walking. As they were about to set foot in the sand, Hebbi shouted, "Maybe the ghosts will kill you like the others, and save me the trouble. You're a bitch anyway. Sockless bitch."

Darren felt his knees weaken and Cabby's grip tighten on his hand, then they both stepped on the sand, took a few more steps forward.

Darren felt the sand trembling beneath their feet, then he heard a low rumbling.

The rumbling grew louder. The ground actually began to shake—to sift. Next to him, Cabby muttered, "Oh, crap."

Behind them, Hebbi was mocking them, saying, "Are you fond of your arms? Because your body and your arms are about to wave bye bye!" Then, she cackled.

Then a bunch of sand shot straight up into the sky, as dozens of objects shot up from under the ground.

The things surrounded them and hovered in the air, and Darren could now see that they were doll parts—disembodied heads, torso, legs, arms—some were teenagers, some infants, some twentyish. They started forming a whirling funnel. It was like a doll part tornado. Lightning flashed and during the brief instances of its flash, the dolls seemed to glow transparent with bones beneath the doll plastic flesh.

The doll parts were of varying sizes—some looked normal-sized, some were like the body parts of giants. But before he really had time to think about it, one of the heads swooped out from the middle of the mass and hovered just a short distance in front of them. The head snarled, "Stop right there!"

The head was of a bratty-looking black-haired teenage girl, with her eyes heavily-lined and pointy-edged. She wore a headband.

The doll head twerked her mouth brattily. Her face scrunched into a scowl, before her eyes lowered down, revealing the glitter on her eyelids, then she was staring at Cabby's pantyless crotch. The doll head tilted back up to meet Cabby's eyes. The doll head said, "Oh, I apologize my Queen. And my King. I didn't realize you had left the dollhouse. Do you wish to return?"

Cabby answered, "Yes." Darren could detect no uncertainty in her voice. Impressive.

"Welcome back," bratty-head said. It almost sounded like she was being sarcastic. Then the doll head floated to the side to allow them to pass.

As Darren and Cabby began walking, from behind them, they heard Hebbi shouting, "We're with them! Allow us safe passage!"

Then the doll head said to Cabby, "Queen, are the faebots with you? Shall I allow them to enter the sandbox?"

Cabby and Darren turned around to look back at the two faebots. "Nope," Cabby answered.

"Yes, my liege, we shall kill them if they enter," the doll head answered.

"Whoa, don't kill them. Just, um, keep them out."

The doll head squinted one eye. "Don't be silly, Doll Queen. We'll kill them, just like always. Are you sure you're okay? You don't quite seem yourself."

"Oh, errr, I'm fine."

Hebbi turned to the faebot beside her, who happened to still be flinging her four middle fingers. Hebbi said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go after them and kill them. The girl first. Leave the boy."

"Wait, what?" the faebot replied. She put her four fingers down. "I'm supposed to go in there? You heard that doll girl. They'll kill me!"

Hebbi said, "Look, I don't care, as long as you take out that bio-bitch first. Seriously, rush her. If you don't do what I say..." Hebbi zoomed through the air so that she was behind the faebot. "...I will twist your little robot head off, and use it for the next tetherball game!" She kicked the faebot so she lurched forward inside the sandbox boundaries.

"Wait!" Cabby shouted.

But the faebot howled and pounced at Cabby while holding out all four middle fingers erect. Then she stopped in midair as her body thumped a swarm of floating doll parts.

From the sidelines Hebbi shouted, "I am head bitch of the faebots and I command you to stop immediately!"

The doll part swarm had completely surrounded the four-middle-finger-up faebot, so there was no retreat.

The doll parts started munching and clawing at the faebot, who was saying, "Hey, stop that!" They were focusing on the faebot's shoulders and hips. The faebot tried swatting her attackers away, but to do that, she let her arms down so her middle fingers were no longer up.

One of the doll heads muttered, "Yuck, plastic."

Hebbi shouted, "Kill that bitch! Get her! Don't just float there!"

"I'm trying," whimpered the faebot. "They won't let me go kill her."

Then with a shout and scowl, the faebot thrusted her four middle fingers defiantly at Cabby, just before her arms separated, floating in different directions from her body, carried by doll parts, with her offensive fingers still up, before disappearing. Her purse dropped to the ground. She looked at each side of her armless body. "Fine then! I'll kick you, then!" She tried to flap forward, but stayed in place, and kicked toward Cabby and her leg flew forward ahead of her body, having been bitten free. Cabby and Darren turned to watch it fly away, carried off to who-knows-where.

The faebot said, "Grrr!!! So annoying!" She lifted her foot and stomped down to display her aggravation. Then her legged whipped backward as it was torn from her body. She looked down, then looked back up. "Guess I'll bite you?"

Cabby and Darren shrugged. Then the faebot's head was twisted to the side by the doll parts, then kept turning, twisting and twisting, until it twisted off. During the process, her veil got ripped off.

The swarm floated the bodyless head up in front of Cabby, where it hovered and their eyes locked—their faces were the same—they looked like twins.

Cabby, with a snarl in her voice, said, "You asked me before, if I _re_ membered you. Well, I can tell you now, that I _dis_ member you!"

"No!" shouted the faebot girl, as Cabby lifted her hand, started crinkle-waving, and said, "Bye bye."

And the faebot head was whisked away.

So Darren and Cabby turned and walked to the dollhouse.

Behind them, Hebbi sarcastically shouted, "Good luck!"

CHAPTER 19

There was no door in the front of the dollhouse, because it only had three walls, so they just walked in. The furnishments were a green plastic couch, and a red plastic chair. Sitting against one wall was a life-sized, plastic and blond female fairy doll, wearing a glittery black camisole and white, plastic high-heeled shoes and a tiara and nothing else. No panties. No thigh socks.

Sitting across from her, against the opposite wall, was a male life-sized doll, wearing a T-shirt and combat boots and jeans. Like Darren, he didn't have wings. The male doll's jeans looked tented in front.

The female doll mind-projected to them, "Welcome, I've been waiting for you." Her body didn't move at all.

Cabby gasped. Her hand rose to cover her mouth. "You're half-naked, like me!" she exclaimed.

Darren stared at the doll's crotch. It was smooth and bare just like a normal girl's except it was made of plastic. There was another difference: on the left and right of her crotch were straight vertical grooves down her hips. Darren wondered how she had been hurt.

The female doll said in her mind-projecting way, "Indeed, we have that in common. Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Barb, which is short for my official title of 'The Barbered Doll.' I am the Doll Queen. And that is Kevin." She did not move at all as she said it.

The male doll mind-projected, "The pleasure is mine." He also didn't move.

"I'm Cabby...1"

"And I'm Darren. It's nice to meet you."

The Doll Queen said, "So I know what you're thinking. Why am I called The Barbered Doll? Well, you see, when my product line was created, in order not to corrupt the youth, I was barbered of my special kind of hair, you see. So now you know, but let's move on. We don't have much time. So I see that my minions must have let you in..."

"Why, yes..." Cabby answered.

"They must have thought you were me, due to your bare crotch and legs and your accompaniment by Darren. They must have thought that he was Kevin and you were me. An error, due to the limitations of their identification parameters."

"Huh?" Cabby said.

"Let's just say, they're not very intelligent. They're like simple machines that only look for certain things to identify people. I guess if any of the other fairy girls had come into the sandbox not wearing thigh socks or panties, the dolls might have thought they were me, too. Interesting."

"Ah, yes," said Cabby. "Well, I do hope you'll forgive our intrusion. See, we've come from the Juice Cave, where we got a juice box. Then we read in this electronic journal of someone called Original Cabby about a needle being in the dollhouse, so..."

The Doll Queen said, "Oh, the Original Cabby..."

"Er, yes," Cabby said.

The Doll Queen said, "Yes, well it seems the time of the reawakening may finally be upon us."

Darren said, "The prophesy?"

"Yes. It isn't like some destiny thing that is inevitable, but it was predicted to be highly likely."

Cabby said, "Well, we are eager to do all the things we have to do, to get to do what we were meant to do."

The Doll Queen said, "Well the needle you seek is on the second floor. But it's too big for you to use. You'll need to shrink it. So I bet now you wanna know how to shrink it."

Cabby said, "Why yes, could you please tell us?"

"Yes, if you say that again, but this time, refer to me as Queen."

"Why yes, could you please tell us, my Queen?" She bowed. She tugged on Darren's shirt tail to compel him to bow as well.

"Well, I'll tell you, but I ask you to do something for us in return..."

"Yes, my Queen, what is it?"

"Tell me, Cabby1 and Darren, have you ever heard of me and my magical crotch?"

They shook their heads.

Darren glanced again at the Doll Queen's groin, but it looked like a plain, ordinary crotch. "Doesn't look magical to me," Darren muttered.

This caused Cabby, who was standing next to him, to angrily shush him.

So Darren tried to take his words back. So while waving his hands in front of himself, he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Queen. I meant no offense."

The Doll Queen chuckled. "No offense taken. It's been so long since the New Beginning. Perhaps all fairies have forgotten about me...or they never knew about me in the first place. It's been forever since Kevin and I have been outside these dollhouse walls. Tell me, does the war still rage on outside?"

Darren remembered the cyborg girl in the Juice Cave had mentioned a war as well. What were they talking about?

It was hard to know how to react. To play along or tell the truth? He decided to shut his mouth and let Cabby do the talking, which he tended to do during all their previous episodes.

Cabby said, "Which war are you referring to? There have been a few."

"I'm referring to the war amongst the humans. You know, the um, 'giant fairies without wings.' Last I heard, they were really pulling out the big guns. Well, not _guns,_ because those were outlawed, but you know what I mean. The germ warfare, the nuclear bombs?"

Darren's expression grew dazed. He looked over at Cabby and her expression was frozen in a kind of barely-contained expression of horror.

"Wow," said the Doll Queen with a psychically-projected chuckle. "You really have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Darren and Cabby both shook their heads. They seemed to often mirror each other's behaviors. Cabby now looked dazed and confused.

The Doll Queen said, "Wow, really really no idea. But I really must warn you that soon it will be sunset and that's when my discarded doll part minions get nasty. They'll shred _you_ into a pile of parts if you don't leave before dark."

Cabby asked, "Even in here?"

"Yes, even in here."

"But they think we're you!"

"Yes, well, they're not as dumb as they look. I can tell by how they're looking at you, that they've figured out you're not me. They'll leave you alone for now, but they get particularly mean at sunset. Only my direct order will keep their hands off of you. And their heads..."

"So, you'll call them off if we do this thing you want?"

"Nah."

Cabby asked, "Why wouldn't you do that?"

"Boredom, my dear. Pure boredom."

"But we can help you."

The Doll Queen said, "But see, it's less boring if you have your life endangered. I'm tired of things being boring all the time. You see, I'm really not interested in just helping you out of the goodness of my heart. I really just need you to do this one thing I want."

Cabby pressed her hands up to her face. "Gah! So what do you want us to do? You still haven't said what it is!"

"Yes, well I felt the need to do some explaining before just knocking you over the head with it, because you two are obviously ignorant and don't really know what's going on."

Darren's jaw clenched.

Doll Queen said to him, "Oh, don't look so offended."

Now Cabby was sounding pissed off as she shouted, "So what is it that you _want?_ As you yourself said, we don't have a lot of time before we're turned into doll parts, right? So whaddya want?"

"Okay, well don't freak out, but what I want is for you to lay me on top of Kevin, or Kevin on top of me—either way. And I want you to lay us so that our mouths are touching each other's bare crotches."

Cabby asked, "And if we do that, will you help us with the needle?"

"Yes, because I want you to succeed, but in _dramatic_ fashion, so I won't call off any minions. See, I believe that you _are_ truly the girl of prophesy who will come to fix everything, and cause to come into being the One True Cabby Facsimile."

Cabby said, "And why do you want us to lay you on Kevin like that?"

"Because it will take away our consciousness. Because I am an abomination."

Darren blurted in, "Because you're a doll?"

"No," the Doll Queen replied, "because I'm an _abominable_ doll. Oh, I'm sorry. I should stop being so obtuse. You don't have much time left. Listen, I want to end my existence. Kevin does too. But I need you to move me. My minions can't help me. All they know how to do is disassemble bodies, and me and Kevin can't move on our own. So, will you please help us?"

Quietly, Cabby asked, "You want us to kill you?"

"No, not _kill._ We want to be returned to our proper state. We were meant to sit and look pretty. That's all! We are not robots, after all, and this is not how we were meant to be. We can't even move! We were brought into consciousness by the selfish wishes of the Original Cabby. We are abominations. All we ask is that we be returned to the way we're supposed to be. Please say yes..."

Darren and Cabby looked at each other. Darren nodded. He trusted Cabby completely.

The Doll Queen continued, "Dolls were meant either to be played with or either to sit and look pretty. But since the New Beginning, no one has come to play with us. And it's soooo boring! We only ask that we be allowed to sit and look pretty in peace. We want to go back to being normal dolls. Will you help us?"

Cabby said, "But that would be killing you."

"Not killing! We have no real souls or awareness. The Original Cabby made us to be limited to only one emotion: boredom. We were provided this emotion to support our only form of movement, our automated eye roll." Then she rolled her eyes. "See? So, please?"

Cabby looked to Kevin, the male doll. "Do you feel the same way?"

Kevin said, "Yeah, whatever."

Cabby met Darren's eyes, and he nodded his approval.

"Okay," Cabby said. "If you help us, we'll do what you ask, as long as you're sure it's not murder."

"It's not. It's prettification. Sitting-prettification. Okay, I suggest we hurry. You don't want to be caught after dark by the discarded dead doll parts. So, here's what you need to do. You need to go upstairs, bring the needle down, then press my crotch to it. As I said, my crotch is magical and will cause the syringe to shrink. When it's small enough to hold in your hand, take me off it. Okay?"

Darren's jaw had dropped, and Cabby was shaking her head while she said, "Wait, wait, wait!" She stressfully pressed the palms of her hands to her forehead. "You're freaking me out! What kind of magic does your crotch make, and like, why?"

"I'll explain after you bring the syringe down here, okay? Hurry, you don't have much time!"

Darren glanced outside. It was quickly growing darker. Dark shapes swirled around the outside of the dollhouse—it was like they were circling, waiting.

Cabby bit her lip, said, "Okay, I'll be right back."

She spread her butterfly wings, fluttered them, then flew up the staircase. After a few moments, she shouted down, "I found it! Watch out, I'm gonna slide it down the stairs!"

Darren made a hand-megaphone around his mouth, then shouted, "Okay!"

After a few moments, something slid down the stairs until its tip hit the ground—the rest of it lay on the bottom steps. Was _this_ a needle? Darren stared, dumbfounded. It was like a plastic cylinder with a bunch of black line markings and a bunch of numbers on it, with a sharp metal part sticking out of one end.

Then he smiled big as his beautiful Cabby swooped down, then landed next to him.

She was holding a pair of white boots that had wheels on the bottom of them.

Darren asked her, "What are those?"

Cabby answered, "I dunno." She looked at the Doll Queen. "What are they?"

The Doll Queen answered, "They're disco skates. They shoot sparks. You might want to hold onto them, because the sparks will keep the doll parts away. But do you want me to explain the skates or my crotch?"

"Your crotch," Cabby answered.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to give you the short explanation. Basically, I was the favorite doll of the Original Cabby. She had a fight with her dad. He told her he wished she could be more like me, and not have genitalia. People used to have things called genitalia that they would have to hide. Flash forward to the New Beginning~Cabby was omnipresent, before she chose to become mortal in a sense. The minds of the Creator and the Original Cabby combined and worked together to form this world, shaped from their desires and wants. But in the time of the New Beginning, they wanted her genitalia to go away. And so she projected her desire for an instrument of change onto me, so that my crotch became magical. When pressed against bodies, my crotch shrinks things—it causes openings on people's bodies to close, then after that it causes the whole body to shrink. So the Cosmological Cabby of the New Beginning pressed me to her, and changed everyone ever after. When pressed against inanimate objects, my crotch causes them to shrink. And that is why I was cursed with never being able to wear panties again, but that is no big deal, because, as you know, without genitalia, there is no longer a reason to hide a crotch. So if Kevin and I are positioned properly, our magical crotches will shrink each other. And if we shrink down to our original toy size, we will be returned to our original state of non-consciousness. So there's your explanation. So hurry up and press my crotch to the needle, okay!"

Cabby and Darren nodded, then jumped into action.

Darren kicked the needle from its perch so that it was lying on the floor.

While Darren was putting his hands around the Doll Queen's ankles, a pudgy baby belly swooped past them, spinning like a boomerang. It swooped back out of the room through a window.

The Doll Queen shouted, "Hurry! Press my legs apart. Make sure you don't touch my crotch!"

Darren was confused for a moment, but then he realized what those grooves in the Doll Queen's hips were: they allowed the legs to be moved, but only in a certain way. He couldn't spread the Doll Queen's legs spread-eagle apart, but he pushed one of her legs all the way forward and one leg all the way back. Then Cabby and Darren each grabbed an arm and began to lower the doll's crotch onto the needle. Then in front of him hovered the head of the bratty girl from before, but it was different, with tribal black makeup and an inverted cross on its forehead and even-more-heavily-lined eyes.

It said, "Sooooon," then sped away. Darren redirected his attention to their task. They lowered the Doll Queen so that her groin touched the needle.

The Doll Queen said, "Good. I will tell you when to lift me off."

Darren felt the Doll Queen begin to vibrate in his hands, then she began to shake violently—it made the doll's hair thrash. Cabby was looking around worriedly. More doll parts were swooping in and out of the room. Some of the doll heads were cackling.

Looking down, they both watched in amazement as the needle began to shrink. After a few moments, the needle had shrunk enough, and the Doll Queen mentally-shouted, "Now!" so they lifted her off, then while Cabby was putting the needle into her purse, Darren was following the Doll Queen's instructions on adjusting her. It took only a few moments for him to adjust the Doll Queen so that she was lying on her back.

The Doll Queen directed, "Now depants Kevin."

Cabby got to work removing the male doll's pants. She did it remarkably quickly, while being careful not to touch his crotch. An odd tent-like contraption straddled his midsection to keep his crotch from touching his pants. Cabby tossed it aside.

The Doll Queen continued mind-projecting as Cabby and Darren lifted Kevin. "Now lay him on top of me, just like I said: crotch to mouth. Then hold us there. As soon as we stop talking, leave here and get out of the sandbox. Try not to let the doll parts kill you."

They laid Kevin on top, then Darren pressed the Doll Queen's face against Kevin's crotch. Cabby pressed the Doll Queen's crotch to Kevin's face. Darren felt the Doll Queen's head begin to vibrate.

The Doll Queen said, "I want to thank you both." Her head started vibrating more. "And Cabby, one last piece of advice. Grab a dress from the graveyard. The Original Cabby used to love dresses. Put it on, and they'll think you're her..." Then Darren watched as the Doll Queen's mouth shrank out of existence, leaving only a smooth area of plastic. Then her nostrils closed, then her nose flattened into an area of smooth plastic. She rolled her eyes one final time. Darren thought perhaps it was a death reflex of sorts. The tan plastic sealed over her eyes. She no longer had a face—it was all smooth. That's when her whole body began to shrink. Kevin's did too. And pressed together, they shrank until they were regular doll-size.

Darren looked at Cabby, then said, "Let's go."

CHAPTER 20

Darren felt the surge of panic fill him. Cabby took charge, grabbed his hand. And the doll parts were everywhere, whizzing around like a swarm of wasps, filling his mind with their thoughts~

~We are the discarded dolls of youth, thrown away as soon as we fall apart.~

~We are the broken people, no longer functional, buried away.~

They stepped through the shifting sand. A short distance away was the long sidewalk from the dollhouse to the edge of the sandbox. The sun was just about to set. Darren realized the dismalness of their situation. He knew that Cabby couldn't carry him. He met her eyes. She was so beautiful.

He motioned with his hand and she understood and handed him the roller skates. But she didn't fly away—she hovered beside him—he heard her whisper, "I love you."

~Torn away from ourselves, we are. Separate pieces flying around.~

Trembling, Darren kneeled on the sidewalk and slipped the roller skates on. They were too small, but he didn't intend to wear them very long.

He heard fluttering up in the air. He looked up to see Cabby, hovering, lit by the full moon, her face contorted with sorrow, tears streaming down her face. He motioned with his head that she should leave without him.

She said, "I can't leave you." And that was that.

He finished tying the laces on the skates.

And the mass of sinister doll parts swirled around them, hissing, threatening them—like a hateful tornado. They seemed just on the verge of attacking. Darren figured the only reason they didn't, was because the sun hadn't completely set.

Unsteadily, he stood, straightened his back, then began to skate. Sparks began to shoot out from the wheels, causing him to squint. As he gained speed, the plume of sparks grew large. Darren was focused on speeding down the sidewalk, rather than looking around, but he noticed that all the doll parts ahead of him were getting out of his way, avoiding his flaming path. Some were screaming in fear! "Ahhh ahhhh!" they were going. Cabby was flying to his right—some of the sparks were licking at her feet.

A group of doll parts followed them—some of them hissed—one of them screamed hysterically, "We're gonna tear your arms off!"

They were almost to the edge, beyond which Darren hoped there was safety.

He could see Hebbi, watching from the outside of the sandbox.

Then he went past the edge, leapt into the air and landed in the grass, and shot forward onto the ground to his knees. He raised his head to look at Hebbi hovering in front of him with her arms crossed. The sun had set while he'd been skating, he noticed.

Cabby was hovering at his side, holding a black dress. Darren looked back into the sandbox. The horde of hateful doll parts hovered right in front of the outer edge of the sand box.

Darren breathed a sigh of relief. He just hoped they didn't shoot or throw something.

They were, however, shooting them scowly expressions.

The leader bratty doll head was shaking violently from side to side, screaming shrilly, "Coward!"

Darren chuckled a little and he shared a smile with Cabby. The doll parts hardly seemed a threat, so they turned their attention to Hebbi.

Hebbi widened her eyes and raised her palms up as if to say, "What?"

Then her smartphone beeped, and she brought it out and looked at its screen. What she read brought a smile to her face, as she looked at them and said, "Oooh, I just got invited to my birthday party tomorrow, and I think Daddy might be there, so we need to cut _this,_ " she waggled her finger, "short. I have so much preparing to do." She slipped the phone back into her purse. She clapped in a "let's-get-to-business" way. "So what went on in there? Did you learn any secrets? Get any new objects?" Her eyebrows arched.

Darren didn't know what to say, so he said nothing, and let Cabby take over.

Cabby landed on the ground, stood saucily, then put one hand on her hip.

One of the doll heads yelled out at her, "Stupid bitch!" but they were all bark, no bite, so Cabby didn't even acknowledge the outburst.

Cabby sneered as she said, "We learned things. We met people. Maybe we got stuff. Why should we tell you?"

Hebbi lowered onto the ground, then mockingly mimicked Cabby's hand-on-hip gesture. "Because if you don't tell me, I just might turn you into crappy doll parts." She motioned with her chin to the still-hovering doll parts, indicating that she'd intended to be insulting to all parties.

Cabby said, "What if I told you I met the Doll Queen and she told me the faebots and biologicals and cyborgs should all do their best...to live together...in peace."

Hebbi rolled her eyes and it disturbingly reminded him of the Doll Queen's eye roll. "I would say fuck that. Survival of the fittest, baby."

Cabby said, "I'm sorry you feel that way. Let's compromise."

Darren watched, sitting on the ground, trying to catch his breath.

Hebbi said, "You know, I've got better things to do, and you know what, I'm just gonna have to say fuck it, and I'ma tear off your face."

Cabby said, "Um, can't we talk about this?"

"No!" She lunged at Cabby with her hands out. "Tear off your faaaaaa

aaa

She froze in midair.

From her mouth, though, still came the long sound of that vowel, the,

Letter Aaaa.

She hadn't moved an inch. In fact, she shouldn't have still been in the air, because she was no longer flapping.

"What's happening?" Cabby asked, as she helped him up from the ground.

"The virus!" he shouted.

Hebbi went silent. A few seconds later, white words appeared in the air above her head:

Temporarily down for maintenance.

Cabby looked at Darren, then said, "We should really mess her up. Deactivate her. I mean, she tried to have me killed! You saw what she did to that faebot who gave four middle fingers. Now she wants to kill me? I mean, what more does it take?"

But Darren shook his head. "Violence is not the answer," he said.

"I want to twist her stupid robot head off and give it to the dolls." She chuckled.

He didn't like seeing this ugly side of Cabby. How had they gotten into this predicament? He suddenly wished they were back to living their same old boring lives in the camp, but they were stuck here.

He said, "Cabby...please. Let's just go. It looks like it's about to snow. We can hide out for the night."

"Okay, Darre," she said, "but I'm taking her phone."

He watched as she played around with the smartphone she had swiped. Hebbi's Faesbook profile was open and accessible. So Cabby changed her profile name to "stupid bitch," deleted her personal info, and replaced it with "I suck so much compared to Cabby1," and switched her sexual orientation from straight to bi, and the relationship status to swinger. They quickly looked through her email. There was an e-vite to Cabby's Sweet Sixteen party the next day. There were also a lot of emails about "penis enhancement," whatever that meant.

They were both feeling nervous that Hebbi might start functioning soon. So quickly, Cabby changed the passwords of Hebbi's Faespace profile and email account and changed the answers to the security questions. Hebbi would have a difficult time getting back into them, or perhaps she wouldn't be able to at all.

They thought there might be some sort of GPS tracking system in the phone, so they smashed the phone against a rock and tossed it into the sandbox.

That pissed the doll parts off.

"Tomorrow," Darren said, as Cabby gathered up the lacey dress, "We're going to the birthday party, yes?"

"Yeah. Now let's get the hell out of here."

CHAPTER 21

Snowflakes flitted against their noses as they sped away.

As the snow continued to fall, they kept trudging forward into the forest, seeking to find a place to hide in case Hebbi came after them or set other faebots after them.

The snowfall became too heavy, so they found an area by an outcrop of rocks.

Darren was tired, and decided to try to get some sleep. Cabby said she was too worried to sleep, so she would keep watch for a while.

She kissed his forehead, then said, "I'm gonna put on the dress..."

His eyes showed his surprise, but he didn't speak.

So she explained to him, but it seemed more like she was explaining to herself. "I need to shed the old rules of society. Everyone says that a proper young lady would never wear a dress, because then people could look up it, which would be unbefitting a _proper_ young lady. But I think society needs to become less prudish, and wearing dresses is one of the ways to do it. I've already shed my thigh socks, and I've let go of the vanity of panties. I feel I'm changing and growing more every day. Becoming more free."

He nodded with droopy eyes, and smiled gently. "You're not like the others. There's something special about you, something that makes you push to be different. I love that about you."

He watched her dressing. He'd never seen a girl put on a dress before. It was a beautiful sight to behold. In the dark, he could see the dark shapes of the X's of tape she wore on her chest bumps. The same fairy magic that made it so she never had to bathe, meant she could wear the tape as long as she wanted.

The dress was black and torn and tattered and frilly.

He knew he was just about to fall asleep.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her beauty. He watched her, transfixed. She sat on a tall rock in front of the moon as the snow fell. In his half-dream state, the rock oddly began looking like a pile of doll parts, then like bones and skulls, and despite the fact he was just a short distance away, she looked separate from him—alone in her sorrow. Shouldn't she be happy? He watched her as she dangled her foot in the snow, making swirls with her bare toes, softly moving her legs.

CHAPTER 22

In the morning, Darren opened his eyes to see Cabby lying next to him, asleep.

The snow had lifted while he slept and he hadn't noticed a thing.

He tried to get up quietly, but Cabby must have been sleeping lightly, because one of her eyes popped open.

"Happy birthday," she said, groggily.

"Happy birthday to you," he replied.

They had some time to kill before the party, so they gathered breakfast from the various bushes in the area. The tried to figure out the black black tape poem, with no luck. Then they were still bored, so, using the faebots' hairspray, Cabby teased his hair, so that it defied gravity to a frightening degree.

Then they practiced tae kwon do. Cabby had a black belt. Then they found a patch of dandelions that were almost as tall as they were, and they entertained themselves by dancing in it and unleashing all the dandelion spores into the air. It felt like being hugged by thousands of airborne pillows.

While the spores surrounded them, Darren noticed Cabby glancing at him, then looking at him.

He asked her, "What is it?"

"I have a present for you. A birthday present."

"Awww. But I didn't get you one."

She winked. "It's okay. You can make it up to me." She grabbed something from her purse and handed him a small gift wrapped in a leaf, tied by a flower.

When he opened it, it was Cabby's mood ring. She held her hand out and looked into his eyes with a big grin on her face.

He smiled at her. "Wow, this is the greatest present ever!"

And he slipped it on her finger.

Then they kissed.

When it was time to go to the birthday party, they walked to the location. There was a house in the middle of nowhere, in a field of grass. A strange sort of metal wire fence surrounded the house. Darren felt the old fear of metal creeping in, before remembering that they'd learned the fears were a myth.

He was suddenly struck by a full-blown poetical attack, and wrote this short poem, using Cabby's back as a makeshift desk.

When birthday candles go unblown,

And youthful idealisms fade,

Change heart that loved to one that owns,

By slashing with the box's blade.

As they approached the gate, there, crawling on the green, trimmed grass outside the fence, was Hebbi with her general's cap. She was crawling a short distance, then collapsing again, then crawling again, making her way toward the house.

Warily, Cabby and Darren approached her. They had to pass her to get through the gate.

When they passed her, Hebbi pointed at Cabby, then shouted accusatorily, "You!"

"Yes?" Cabby replied. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Do you think I can't tell who you are, just because you're wearing that dress? You can fool the others, but not me, Cabby1." And she raised a finger up to accentuate her point, and nearly toppled over from her precarious three point stance.

Cabby said, "We don't want any trouble. We're just here for the party."

"You infected me!" Hebbi said to Cabby, then she made a jerky movement. "You think you're sooo great! So you wanna make out? It'll only be kissing. I promise. Your boyfriend doesn't have to know."

"I'm right here!" Darren protested.

Hebbi cocked her head, then squinted at him. "Oh, there you are. Well, I'll make out with you both." Then all of the sudden, she began repeatedly slamming her forehead into the ground. She stopped, then peered around as if she had forgotten where they were. She peered at them for a moment. "Sorry," she said. "I don't know why I did that. The virus has been making me act weird. So wanna have a cuddle threesome?"

Cabby arched her brow. "Didn't you want to kill us, just, when was it? Oh yeah, yesterday!"

"Well, after the dollhouse, yesterday, I came to realize we're not so different. We could actually be friends. And I never really realized how smoking _hot_ you are! I never really thought of myself as bisexual, but after seeing you up close last night, it all changed. Think of all the fun we could have. All us girls, and your boy." She leered at him in a way that really creeped him out.

Now Cabby was mocking her: "But I gave you the virus, remember?"

"You're so hot, I forgive you."

Cabby said, "But won't you give me the virus if we make out?"

Hebbi said, "Sorry. I can't give it to you. You're a biological. You're not like the faebot girls I was making out with last night. Uh oh..."

Darren said, "You infected them?"

Next to him, Cabby was giggling.

Hebbi was mumbling to herself. "And I thought it was the power of my kisses that was making them weak in the knees." Her head twitched to the right twice then her eye spasmed.

Cabby rolled her eyes. "They were sick of _you._ Look, bitch, you need to stay away from my boy, or you're asking for a good ass kicking."

"I don't think so. You're gonna make a good slave. I'll whip you personally."

Cabby said, "I've had enough of you! Why won't you leave us alone? I should beat your ass right now. Deactivate you while you're all helpless and crawling on the ground."

But Darren said, "No, Cabby. Leave it alone. It's not worth getting in a fight. Let's just go to the party. Hey Hebbi, if you stay out of our way, we'll stay out of yours, okay?" He tugged on Cabby's arm and she reluctantly followed.

Darren opened the gate for her.

Cabby said, "Come on Darre, we've spent enough time talking to this loser."

As they walked to the house, Hebbi yelled, "You stupid bitch! As soon as I get up, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Cabby gave the finger without turning around.

Hebbi hurled a few more insults, then went silent. Darren looked back to see that the words "Temporarily down for maintenance" were floating above her.

They walked up the doorstep. Cabby rang the doorbell.

After a few moments, a shimmering orb of light with arms opened the door. "Cabby!" it said with a female voice. "It took you long enough!" Darren now noticed that the orb had words floating above it. They said: "Simulation not yet complete." The orb turned toward him, then said, "And who's your friend?"

Cabby said, "Oh! This is Darren!" She grabbed his arm.

"Oh!" said the orb, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Darren. I'm Cabby's mom—you can just call me Mrs. Wilkins. I don't think we've met before, have we? Are you one of Cabby's friends from school?"

Darren and Cabby exchanged confused looks. Darren replied, "Um, no... I'm from out of town."

The Mother Orb opened the door wide. The smell of freshly-baked cookies wafted out. Cabby exchanged glances with him.

They walked into a large room filled with various faebots milling around with party hats on. Many were holding red plastic cups.

The Mother Orb went over to a plastic bag resting on the ground at the end of the couch. She reached into the bag and handed them party hats.

As they were putting them on, the Mother Orb said, "Cabby, do you have the candles?"

Cabby was at a loss for words.

Mother Orb made an exasperated sound. "Remember I asked you to pick them up after school?" She made a clucking sound. "You know, if you didn't want candles, you should have just said so. What, you don't want them to know how old you are? I thought that was only for old women, like me."

"I'm sorry," Cabby said.

Mother Orb chuckled. "Oh, it's okay. I was just kidding. I have candles. But I have something to tell you. But I don't want you to overreact. Did your father call you?"

Cabby said, "I don't have my phone with me."

"Well, he called me about thirty minutes ago and said he wanted to come to the party. I know how much you wanted him to come, so I said okay. He sounded sober enough, but you never can tell with him." To Darren, she explained, "Cabby's biological father has substance abuse problems. I hope he doesn't cause a scene." Then she spoke to Cabby again. "But don't get your hopes up too high, okay honey? Half the time he doesn't show up when he says he will. The other half of the time, he's high on something. And the _other_ half of the time he leaves early."

Cabby said, "That's three halves."

Mother Orb chuckled. "My little joke." Then to Darren, she said, "Her biological father claims he's a tormented genius. _That's_ why he's so crazy." She drew back and Darren imagined that if she had eyes, she'd be rolling them. "If I were you, I'd avoid meeting him. He's very protective of Cabby. He doesn't like young men around her. But I'll let you two mingle. I'm baking some cookies. Darren, did Cabby ever tell you about the time she was little and burnt herself on the oven trying to get cookies? We rushed her to the hospital, but forgot to turn off the oven. Then when we got back, we had to explain everything to the fire department. She's always been a trouble maker. Well, I'll be right back." Then she drifted away and went through an opening on the opposite end of the room.

They looked around, then walked up to a banquet table which had a bowl of punch, plastic cups, various snacks like fire cheese doodles. The faebots in the room were all sipping and munching away, under their veils. Darren wondered why they did that, if they were robots, but maybe they just enjoyed it. He also found it strange that they didn't seem to care that Cabby was amongst them.

One of the faebot girls sidled up to Darren. He stared down at a bowl of pretzels and W&W candies. "So," said the faebot girl, "this is some party, eh?"

"Yes, I've never had fire cheese doodles before."

The faebot said, "Yeah, I didn't think they were gonna go all out like this for my party."

"Wait," Cabby said. "This is _your_ party?"

The faebot girl and another faebot girl who was listening in, both said, "yes, it's mine" at the same time.

They glared at each other.

A faebot girl standing on the other side of Darren nudged him and said, "So, this is some party, eh?"

Absently, Darren answered, "Yes."

The faebot girl nodded, then bit into a tortilla chip with a loud crunching sound—much louder than necessary.

That's when the doorbell rang.

CHAPTER 23

They watched the Mother Orb go to the door. She opened it and standing there was the same man who'd given Cabby the braces, the Creator—wearing shorts and black socks pulled up to his knees.

Mother Orb shouted, "Cabby, it's your father. And surprise, he looks sober."

The man was holding two presents, with red wrapping paper and black ribbons. Another, large present sat next to him on the doorstep. He smiled and greeted the Mother Orb, then looked over her, searching the room until he saw Cabby. He waved, then exclaimed, "There's my little girl!"

Cabby and Darren waved and stood in the middle of the room as the man entered and set the gifts he was carrying on the round dining table with chairs around it.

He greeted them quickly, then went to fetch the larger present from the doorstep, then set it on the carpet next to the table.

The man beamed at Cabby, exclaimed, "It's good to see you!" He initiated a hug, and awkwardly, they embraced.

Cabby murmured, "It's good to see you too, Daddy."

Daddy drew back, then took her in with his eyes, as if he hadn't seen her in a long time. "Happy birthday, Cabalina!" he said. "I almost didn't recognize you. Then I saw you wearing the dress I got you, so then I recognized you, though you look so different. You've grown so much these past few months."

The Mother Orb, who was standing next to him, commented, "It's been a _year_ and three months," which made Daddy grimace.

Darren watched on in confusion.

Meanwhile, Cabby simply smiled less-than-convincingly.

Daddy said to Cabby, "Ah, I wish I could keep you my little girl forever!" Upon seeing Cabby's expression, he shook his head. "Okay, forget I said that. I just want to make this a happy birthday occurrence for you."

And Darren was thinking, _birthday occurrence?_ Who says that?

Mother Orb said, "I'm gonna bring out your cake. Gather everyone around the table."

The Creator/Daddy said, "Cabalina hates cake."

"Yes," Cabby said. "I hate cake. Wow, I just realized that."

Mother Orb said, "But you love cupcakes. It's part of your trifecta."

Cabby said, "Yes, _cup_ cakes, not birthday cake."

Mother Orb shrugged, then headed for the kitchen.

For the first time, Daddy seemed to notice Darren. Daddy peered at him, then said, "Who's this?"

Cabby said, "This is my friend, Darren."

Darren offered his hand. "Nice to meet you, sir."

Daddy shook his hand so firmly that it was painful, then continued to hold his hand as he glared at him. "I'm Cabby's father. Best watch yourself, young man. Be wary, very wary. Lay off the hands. Whatnot. She is a nice young lady. My Cabby doll." He let go of Darren's hand and raised a finger to make his point. He turned to Cabby and smiled big. He tried to grab Cabby's hand, but she shrugged it off.

They sat in the chairs around the dining table as a crowd of faebots formed around them.

A few moments later, the Mother Orb re-entered the room holding a metal tray that had something tan-colored and speckled with brown bits. The crowd parted to let her through. She set the tray on the table, then said, "Not a cake!"

It was a larger-than-normal chocolate chip cookie with numerous lit candles in it. Written in cursive icing were the words, "HaPPy Birthday CaBBykins." Looking at it made Darren tremble, because it looked exactly like the cookie in the Juice Cave, the only difference being that the one he was looking at was a smaller version of the one in the Juice Cave.

They sang the happy birthday song, then Cabby blew out the candles.

About two seconds after Cabby blew the candles out, they burst into flame again. Mother Orb began laughing. She exclaimed, "I got those candles you can't blow out! Isn't that great? Cheesy. But, great!"

People were laughing. Daddy said to Mother Orb, "The most clever thing you've done all bi-year."

Mother Orb said, "They're made of a special material. You can leave them lit. They won't drip on your cookie or anything. So, why don't you open your presents!"

Cabby couldn't hide her enthusiasm as she clapped and exclaimed, "Prezzies!!!"

Then Darren heard a crash to his right as the window burst, sending broken glass forward into the room and a screaming faebot was zooming through the air, heading straight for Cabby. Cabby reflexively dodged to the side.

The faebot missed her tackle and slammed into some other faebots, then landed on the carpet. It was Hebbi—Darren didn't know how her general's cap managed to stay on her head—she held a boxcutter in one of her hands. Hebbi stood, then pushed some faebots out of the way, then she shouted at Cabby, "I'm gonna cut you!" Some of the faebots started whooping and cheering. Cabby drew back, then stood in front of the entrance to the kitchen. She looked in shock and uncertain what to do. Hebbi screamed, then swooped toward Cabby. Cabby started to twist to the side, but it was too late and Hebbi tackled her, then head-butted her. Cabby pushed her away. Hebbi started delivering a flurry of punches, kicks and swipes of her boxcutter, but Cabby managed to block them all. Cabby backed away, with Hebbi swinging wildly while following her, and then they both disappeared through the entrance to the kitchen.

Darren made out a few crashing noises coming from the kitchen—it sounded like glasses or plates breaking. He had to help Cabby! From the kitchen, a female voice—he couldn't tell _whose_ —screamed, enraged.

Darren started toward the kitchen, but a few faebot girls chose right that moment to step out in front of him. One of them was pointing at the kitchen entrance, saying, "Did you see that? I bet Hebbi is beating that girl's ass in there!"

That's when Hebbi reemerged from the kitchen entrance, crawling on hands and knees, with both her general's cap and veil missing. Cabby was holding a butcher knife, following behind. Darren shuddered as he saw the metal star on Hebbi's face, the face that looked so much like Cabby's. Cabby kicked her in the back of the head. They took a few more steps, then Cabby reached down and grabbed Hebbi by her ponytail, then yanked her head back. Cabby sliced Hebbi's throat. A puff of sparks spat out from the gash, then Hebbi just stopped moving, her face frozen, her eyes open wide.

Everyone in the room was watching. Cabby gazed around the room with a defiant sneer on her face. She looked down at Hebbi who was still on her hands and knees—her body hadn't gone limp the way a biological would have. Cabby put her foot on Hebbi's back, then twisted her hand in the hair of the ponytail and pulled it taut. She sawed at it with the knife until it broke free, then tossed the knife aside. Oddly, many of the faebots began cheering. Darren was cheering with them. Hebbi's neck and head remained frozen in place, wrenched backward in what looked to be a highly uncomfortable angle. Cabby lifted her foot off, looked around the room, then, with a punchy motion, she lifted the decapitated ponytail above her head and yelled a victory yell. She lowered the ponytail, gazed around the room. She shouted, "Your queen...is dead! Please enjoy the rest of the party."

She tossed the ponytail onto the dining table.

She clapped her hands, then said, "Now let's open presents!" She started walking toward the table.

From behind, Hebbi lunged at Cabby, but Cabby managed to twist away just in time. They squared off against each other. They began to circle. The crowd drew back to watch. Darren felt helpless.

In an instant, Cabby was backing away with Hebbi following, delivering a flurry of blows that Cabby was blocking and dodging. Cabby was fending her off, using her tae kwon do skills, but seemed at a great disadvantage.

No one lifted a hand to stop it, and Darren watched helplessly, wondering what he could do.

Hebbi landed a solid blow with her fist to the side of Cabby's face. Cabby reeled back and bumped with her butt against the dining table. She looked dazed, and her arms dropped, rendering her defenseless.

Hebbi cackled in front of her, drawing the boxcutter back, preparing to deliver a savage blow across Cabby's face as Cabby only watched, waiting.

With her arm held back in the air, Hebbi shouted to the room, "Watch this, muh muh muh my muh muh minions!" She started to move her arm, but then she slowed down, then her arm stopped in midair. Hebbi began to twitch, then began to fall over—she was going to topple into Cabby, but Cabby rolled to the side, and Hebbi face-planted into the table and lay there with her cheek resting on the table next to the birthday cookie, with its still-lit candles.

She was twitching, trying to rise.

Cabby went to her chair, grabbed her purse.

Hebbi murmured, "You bitch. As soon as I get up, I'ma I'ma I'ma..."

Cabby pulled out the can of hairspray from her purse, said to Hebbi, "You're gonna do _what_ bitch? Spit it out!"

Hebbi said, "...kill you."

Cabby replied, "Wrong answer."

Cabby moved to another part of the table after pushing a couple faebots out of the way. She bent down, then pointed the can nozzle at the top of a flaming candle...on the other side of which was Hebbi's face.

Hebbi's face didn't show fear. Perhaps faebots didn't feel fear.

Cabby held the hairspray can in place, with her finger resting on top of the button. She said, "Remember when we first met, how you tried to make me start smoking? Well, I realize now that smoking doesn't really affect you robots. You don't breath in and out like us. It is something you'll never know. And you'll never know what it's like to blow out birthday candles."

Hebbi muttered, "Whatever."

Cabby shouted while threatening with the hairspray can, "Prove me wrong, bitch! Blow out the candles, bitch! Make a wish!"

Hebbi answered, "I wish...you would suck it." And then for reasons Darren didn't understand, with her cheek still pressed onto the table, without moving her body, Hebbi made fish-like mouth motions with her brace-distorted face, as if she was blowing toward the candles. But no air came out.

Cabby shouted, "Stupid bitch! You said your wish out loud, now it will never come true!" She pressed the nozzle. Flame sprouted into the air, sending fire into Hebbi's face.

Cabby was screaming a piercing yell—she was screaming "Uuunhaaappyyy biiirthdaaayyy, biiiiitchh!!!"—as the flame continued for several seconds. Hebbi's face quickly blackened and melted—she didn't speak and hardly moved—after several seconds, she no longer had a nose and her eyes had melted. The pungent smoke of burning plastic filled the room.

Cabby released the hairspray button and set the can on top of the table.

The room was silent except for the sound of bubbling plastic on Hebbi's melted face. Her eyes were gone, her mouth sealed over, but oddly her hair was unburnt.

It was then that Darren realized the Creator must have given her fireproof hair. Did that mean the Creator thought ponytails were more important than a face? Hebbi's lay unmoving on the table. The birthday cookie candles still flickered eerily.

Hebbi pressed her palms to the top of the table and shakily stood up. She left her boxcutter on the tabletop. She did not speak— _could_ not—she felt out into the air blindly. She formed fists and started randomly punching.

Cabby said, "You've got to be kidding me!"

Cabby nudged some of the faebots out from behind her. She took a few steps backward, then took a running start, leapt into the air while screaming and sailed over the table while executing a spinning jump kick that connected hard against Hebbi's cheek. It hit so hard it screwed her head loose so that it twisted backwards to face the opposite direction, then her body went limp and crumpled to the ground.

Cabby straddled her, then twisted Hebbi's head until it finally screwed off.

She shouted for the room, "Your head bitch..." She volleyball-served the head out through the broken window. "...is a headless _dead_ bitch!"

She wiped the blood from her mouth, then sat back down in her chair.

Some of the faebots tossed Hebbi's body to another part of the room, because it was taking up valuable floor space.

CHAPTER 24

Mother Orb said, "Why don't you open your presents, honey?"

"Finally!" Cabby exclaimed. "I'll open this small one first, because good things come in small packages." As she went to pick up the present, Darren watched Daddy secretly slip the decapitated ponytail into his pants pocket. It didn't seem like anyone else noticed.

Cabby was shaking the package. "It sounds soft. Feels light. I'm guessing clothes of some sort," she said, then looked at Daddy as he kept a poker face.

She tore off the wrapping paper, then opened the box. Her expression fell. In a disappointed voice, she said, "It's thigh socks."

Daddy's brow furrowed. "Don't you like it, sweety?"

"Well, I stopped wearing thigh socks a little while ago. I don't like them anymore."

Daddy sounded confused. "You wore them before? I don't remember you _ever_ wearing thigh socks. Was this while I was gone? Or while you were away at summer camp?"

Cabby answered, "Er, yes."

Mother Orb jumped in. "She's lying, though I don't know why. Maybe she's sparing your feelings...if you have any. _She_ may want to spare your feelings, but I don't care. I won't have my daughter wearing those slut socks!"

Darren gazed around the room, at all the faebot girls wearing thigh socks. Cabby was the only one without them. He felt confused.

Daddy said, "Slut socks? Opposite they are. Virgifying socks, unrevealing."

Mother Orb said, "Uh oh, he's glitching out on us again! Okay, explain _this_ one to us. Everyone wants to hear your next great theory, _genius._ "

"I only want what's best for my child. It's very important to me. And yes, I will explain my theories and yes, everyone can listen so you can all realize the truth of what I say. Please bear with me, as I start from the beginning and follow my theories to their inevitable, brilliant conclusions. Let me begin by explaining a principle I refer to as,

~*the coverage of dressage*~

"You see, my original intended intention, Cabby, when I asked you to always wear long dresses, was to impart upon thy personage...a coverage...coverage of both coochie and inner and outer thigh and well, the whole leg. And as we see, the dress succeeds in this singular goal."

Daddy continued, "You see, when I had first gotten you the dress, it seemed a good solution, but then I realized that so many dudes..." He stared accusingly at Darren. "...are unethical. They may do things to try to look up a girl's dress. Remember I always told you, Cabby, never let a boy look up your dress, and always wear panties to cover your vagina. And no thongs."

"Wait," Cabby said. "What's a vagina?"

Mother Orb said, "Well, now you're just being ridiculous. Why are you acting this way? Been shooting up again?"

"Huh?" Cabby said.

And Darren was thinking "huh?" too, but he was also thinking about the word "vagina," feeling a vague deja vu feeling about how they used to be used to kiss boys to make babies or something.

Then Daddy took on an instructive tone, and told her, "My dear, a vagina is a very naughty place girls have between their legs, that good girls must never let boys see, which is why you must always wear panties to hide your vagina. At least until I can make the... _improvements_."

Mother Orb exclaimed, "Oh, god. Improvements! Again with them!"

Cabby asked, "What improvements?"

Daddy answered, "Well, you see, that touches upon a concept I've been developing, which I refer to as,

*~the nullification of vaj and nips*~

"You see, I've been doing a lot of reading lately, and I believe in the future, it will be possible to alter peoples' genetic structures just a little bit, to make their crotches smooth. Imagine, Cabby...you wouldn't even have a vagina anymore, so there would be no need to keep boys from seeing your crotch. Why you'd even be able to go pantyless, if you want! Because there'd be nothing to see! In such a scenario, wearing panties would not only be unnecessary, but would actually be a sign of vanity! I refer to this principle as ~*the vanity of panties*~ See how clever I am!"

Mother Orb tsked. "The mad genius."

Daddy indignantly replied, "It is not madness! It is genius. It would eliminate the single most important cause of sexual harassment: the vagina! I could make other improvements to your body, my Cabby doll. I could eliminate your nipples as well, for a boob can only be naked if your nipples are showing, so without them, there is nothing to see, there is no nakedness! And my dear, I know how much you adore fairies. Imagine if your genes could be combined with those of a butterfly to give you wings! My dear, with my guidance and abilities, you could be perfect!"

Darren struggled to make sense of all of this. He wondered why Daddy was speaking to Cabby as if she didn't _already_ have wings and the absence of nipples and this thing called a "vagina," but then as he heard the words "you could be perfect," he shouted, "Cabby is _already_ perfect!"

Next to him, Cabby said, "Awwww," then touched his arm.

Daddy scoffed. "Well, yes, my little Cabby is almost perfect, but she has body parts that bring out lust in men. But with certain alterations, these can be eliminated. Except for the legs. But that's what the thigh socks are for." He rubbed his chin.

"Okay," said Mother Orb, "so...thigh socks...why?"

"Well," Daddy said, "I shall get there in time, but first I must lay forth a foundation of principles, so that you may come to realize the undeniable and inevitable truth of my ultimate conclusions. You see, I decided that a dress is an insufficient solution to the conundrum of modesty, because of a principle I refer to as,

~*the allure of the uplook*~

"You see, the very act of looking up a dress is alluring to boys. To see the hidden—to see what they are not meant to see—this quite overtakes them, so that they cannot control themselves. Even eliminating the vagina would not solve the problem, because the very act of looking up a dress is a thrill to boys. Panties with no dress is like a swimsuit bottom, but you put a dress over a swimsuit bottom...and it becomes a titillating prize to be gazed upon! And not only that, but dresses offer the opportunity to view the legs and feet, which are also sexual objects for boys. So, ironically, the very coverage a dress provides, compels boys to attempt to overcome it.

"But then a brilliant insight came to my genius mind, a solution to the conundrum I refer to as,

~*the salvation of thigh socks*~

"I realized that thigh socks would cover the flesh of the legs and feet, preventing boys from lusting after them. Panties would be worn to cover the female vagina. And by not wearing a dress, the panties would be in plain view, thus eliminating the allure of the uplook! Can you not see the genius of it!

"So, in conclusion, I thought dresses were the solution, but they were not, so from now on, I would like you to _not_ wear dresses, so boys can't look up them, and I want you to wear thigh socks and panties. Of course, if I manage someday to get rid of your vagina, your panties would become a sign of vanity, at which point, I'd ask you to stop wearing them.

"Also, the thigh socks should be striped, so the alternating stripes will represent the constant internal struggle between the light and the dark, and serve as an outward symbol that you will never cease your vigilance of the temptations of wickedness. Now that I have explained, I see no reason why you wouldn't wear the thigh socks. So will you do that for Daddy?"

Cabby put on a strained smile. "Okay."

Darren wondered if she actually meant it. He liked how Cabby looked so beautiful in the dress, but yes, just as Daddy said, he had the odd desire to look up it for some reason.

Daddy said, "Okay, well it doesn't have to be right now. Maybe after you open your presents."

Cabby made a pained expression. "Fine." She set the thigh socks down, then picked up the next largest package: a cube-shaped one. "Ooh! A heavy one!" She held it up to her ear and softly shook. "Ooh! I can hear it sloshing. I hope it's not a fish tank with a poor dizzy fish inside."

Daddy chuckled. "Well, open it and find out."

She tore the paper. She lifted up a snowglobe. Cabby squealed in delight, then peered into it.

Daddy said, "I got it for you, because I know how much you love fairies."

She looked up and grinned, said, "Thanks, Daddy. Look, Darre..." She held the snowglobe up for him to see. He could see what looked like a couple of dancing fairies with some trees here and there. The scale was off though, because in actuality, real trees were much larger than fairies, but it was just a snowglobe after all. While giggling, Cabby turned the globe upside down, then right side up again, unleashing a swirling blizzard upon the miniature fairies.

Daddy said, "I've prepared a statement to commemorate the first snowfall." Daddy brought a piece of paper out from his pocket, unfolded it, said, "I had to write this beforehand to get all the words right." Then he read: "I would love to build you a huge snowglobe and put you inside, and flutter snow on you from above to cover you with the sky's fluffy blanket, so you will know that symbolically, I will always be there to tuck you in."

"Awww," Cabby said. "That's so sweet!"

They hugged.

"Okay," Daddy said after they disengaged. He pointed. "You saved the biggest for last. It's your birthday, and I'm gonna spoil you." As Cabby was kneeling and tearing at the paper, Daddy was saying, "Now I know you're a little old for it, but I wasn't always there when you were a little girl..." Cabby pulled the paper off, gasped, covered her mouth with her hand. "...so I'm making it up to you now."

The present was a dollhouse—she lifted it from the box, set it down on the carpet.

The doll house looked exactly like a miniature version of the dollhouse where they had met the suicidal doll, and almost been killed by the tornado of discarded doll parts.

Mother Orb said, "Well, that's _great._ A dollhouse. A little late. She doesn't even play with dolls anymore."

Daddy said, "Well, there's a doll inside." He switched to talking to Cabby. "Go ahead, sweety. Look inside..."

Cabby looked terrified—she reached in, pulled out a miniature version of the Doll Queen doll they had encountered—the only difference was it had thigh socks on. And Darren was confused, wondering why the gifts were miniature versions of what they'd encountered.

There was also a male doll—the Kevin doll. His pants, however, were untented.

Daddy brought out another piece of paper, unfolded it, and read. "I bought you this the Barbered Doll, because it represents how I see you when I think of you, and how I would like you to be. I wish you were like this doll, pure and smooth, with nothing shameful on your body, with nothing to hide except your legs and feet." He looked up from his paper. "I even started calling you my Cabby doll, do you remember?"

Cabby merely nodded in a daze.

Daddy said, "Well, I don't want to get too sentimental. I just want to say happy birthday, honey, and I wish you many more awesome birthdays in the future."

Cabby had a blank expression on her face as she said, "Thank you, Daddy."

Mother Orb said, "Now it's time for _my_ present! It's something you've been asking me for forever. Hold on..."

She left the room briefly, then reentered a few moments later, holding a wire cage with a red bow. Inside the cage was a miniature pot-bellied pig wearing a shirt with the words "Happy Birthday" written on it in glitter. Darren was immediately reminded of the pantless pig at the Juice Cave, except Topher had been bipedal and person-sized and quite frankly, cartoonish. Once again, Darren wondered what the hell was going on.

But Cabby was saying, "Oh my God! I love him so much!" And she seemed quite sincere.

Mother Orb said, "Yep, I knew you would," as Cabby was opening the cage, "so you kept asking me for this miniature pot-bellied pig and now you have it. You said you had to _see_ it before you could give it one of the names from your short list. So now you see it. And as you can see, it's male. So...name?"

Cabby was holding the squealing pig in her arms. "Topher," she said.

Darren took in a long breath of air.

Cabby squatted, set the pig down. She was giggling, holding her hand out for the pig to sniff.

CHAPTER 25

Now Cabby raised her hand and the little pig hopped, trying to touch its snout to her, and Cabby was giggling, and Darren was watching, grinning.

Daddy said, "Oh, well, it's very alive." Then he crossed his arms and was scowling.

Cabby exclaimed, "Thank you Mommy!"

Mother Orb chuckled and said, "You're welcome," and Daddy harrumphed, then said, "Well, now that all the gifts have been doled out and my numerous bountiful offerings compared to the cloven hooves of a pantless swine...now that that part of the saga is at an end, I shall like to speak to my lovely daughter in private, if it please the court..." He bowed, then swept his arm around the room.

Cabby said, "Errm, okay."

They went off to talk in Cabby's room—apparently she had her own room in this house. Daddy took the thigh socks with him. Darren was left with the Mother Orb and the crowd of faebots. Mother Orb began cutting up the birthday cookie like a pizza. She handed the first piece to Darren on a paper plate. He bit. It was soft and sugary. He munched, felt chocolate chips lovingly dissolve in his mouth.

Then Cabby reentered the room, wearing nothing but an X of tape on her left boob. Her right boob was tapeless—just a plain old boring, unadorned smooth-boob. And she asked Darren to come into her room.

He followed her into the hallway. She opened the door. He entered Cabby's bedroom. He looked around briefly. The room was pretty girly. The walls were covered with pictures of topless guys with six packs, guys in bands, cartoon fairies.

Daddy/the Creator was sitting on the bed next to a stuffed unicorn, appearing as if he was about to fall asleep. His head kept drooping—he didn't even seem aware that Darren had entered the room. He was wearing Cabby's thigh socks. Darren looked to Cabby, asked, "What happened to him?"

She pointed to the bed, next to the Creator, then said, "He injected himself." Then Darren saw the syringe lying next to the Creator on the bed. He also saw a belt.

"What?—" He was flabbergasted.

Cabby said, "When he got me back here alone, he asked me if I still had the roofies he had stashed away in my room from the last time he was here. Of course I didn't really know what he was talking about. He has all these memories about me, of things I never did, or at least I don't remember ever doing them. But anyway, when he said, "roofies," I had this sudden idea pop into my head. I remembered the poem about the black black tape and everything suddenly made sense."

Use black black tape that covers T,

To hide the troof, so none can see!

For still, the troof is there, just hid,

Like cookie underneath a lid.

Some eyes can only see the roof,

And don't want to drink in the troof.

But let him drink, and do not scold,

So troof pokes out, like nips in cold.

She said, "He also wanted me to put the thigh socks on. I knew I had to get access to the tape on my boobs, so, using the excuse that I was going to put the thigh socks on, I took my dress off. When he saw the tape, he started babbling about boobs, saying the nipple was the only part of a boob you should never let a guy see. He said he was so proud of me for being so modest and wearing the tape. And here I thought I was being vain for wearing unnecessary ornamentation, but I guess he didn't realize that I don't have nipples. But he said I had to start covering my legs and feet. So I asked him to show me how to put the thigh socks on. My distraction worked, and while he was putting them on, that's when I peeled the tape off my chest. So I used two pieces of the magic tape on the juice box to 'cover the T' and 'hide the troof' like the poem said, and well..." She lifted the juice box off the nightstand and showed him. "It now says 'roofie Juice.'" She had trouble saying it with a straight face. "Boy," she said, "magic sure can be cheesy, can't it?" She continued, "But anyway, as soon as he saw the words 'roofie Juice,' he asked if I had a needle. And pretty quick, he was injecting himself with the Troofie Juice."

Darren glanced at the Creator, who still seemed unaware of his surroundings. Darren said, "But you turned it into _Roofie Juice._ "

She shook her head, "No, no. Remember the poem says 'the troof is there, just hid.' That 'T' was still there, just not visible..."

Darren considered that for a moment. "So, okay, then, what does 'Troofie Juice' do when you inject it?"

The Creator's head jerked up in a surprisingly quick manner, given his drugged-out behavior of the past few minutes. "It causes the subject to reveal the truth. And I know, because I created it."

As Cabby and Darren looked at him in stunned silence, his eyelids were drooping again.

Cabby said, "So, okay, what's the truth? Tell us."

The Creator sounded sleepy. He seemed more aware of his surroundings, though. "The truth is that before the New Beginning, I used the truth serum on the Original Cabby in order to extract personality data to build up the data set." He was sounding more awake by the moment. His head lolled forward. "Dammit, please don't make me tell you all my memories. They're painful, which is why I repressed them all in the first place. This was the last birthday party, the last time I saw the Original Cabby before... Bleh! You know what, I'm leaving. You realize that's what I did at the original birthday party, right?"

"What do you mean?" Cabby asked.

The Creator tried to get up, but only his chin moved. His right arm shifted just a little bit. "As soon as this truth serum wears off, I'm leaving. I can't get up right now, though, because I had included a paralytic to incapacitate the subject during the extraction."

Cabby asked, "Extraction of what?"

"Your questions make me uncomfortable, yet I seem to be unable to _not_ answer. Very well. I am referring to the extraction of personality and memory data from the Original Cabby. That's what the serum was originally designed for. Because by the time I found my Cabby, she was already sick and insane. I had to devise a way of getting memories and personality from her. The truth serum helps clarify thoughts, helps discern true memories from false ones and lies, because at that point, Cabby was not even aware herself what was real or not. The serum can even bring out forgotten or repressed memories—as is the case with me right now." He glanced at Darren as if suddenly realizing he was there. "And what is this? Oh-so-supreme Hacker Darren! What's he doing here?"

Darren replied, "I'm helping Cabby."

"Helping her do what? Hack into the system?"

Cabby and Darren exchanged puzzled expressions, then Cabby said, "I asked him to come here, Daddy."

The Creator, also-known-as Daddy, turned his head toward Darren and his arm twitched ever-so-slightly. He seemed to be gaining more and more movement by the moment. He said, "It's weird though, how I didn't recognize him just a few moments ago, but now I know exactly who he is. Want to know why, Hacker Darren?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because I wanted to forget everything, so I went into the mainframe and I repressed all my memories. And I purposefully limited my authorities. Wanna know how I did that?"

Confused, Darren replied, "Sure..."

But Cabby jumped in with, "No! Da _ddy!_ You're just trying to divert our attention and get us to keep asking you questions about stupid things until the drug wears off, and you can leave. Isn't that right, Da _ddy?_ "

"Yes, honey, that is correct. So do you want to know _why_ I'm gonna leave?"

Cabby groaned. "Is it important?"

"It is up to you."

"Okay, so tell me, but after this, you're gonna answer _my_ questions."

The Creator said, "I'm going to leave, because I left before, in our past lives, before the New Beginning. I repressed the memory of this incident, but your desires overrode mine and brought me here to replay my role. Your personality data, which I extracted before your death, indicates the birthday party was a very traumatic episode. So you keep replaying it as a recurrent memory."

Cabby shook her head. "What?!"

"Yes, recurrent memory. You project it outward, reliving it, your thoughts shaping the world around you."

"No, not that...what do you mean, 'before my death?'"

"Well, yes, by the time I found you, you were already quite sick. You died a short time later. Well, it's more accurate to say, the Original Cabby died. I often forget to say that."

"Well, please don't call me her, because I'm _not_ her."

"Okay."

Cabby asked, "What'd she die of?"

The Creator said, "Version 2.3"

"Of?"

"Cabby Finder—that was the name of the communicable biologically-hosted program I created."

"Huh?" Cabby said.

But Darren knew exactly what it was. "A virus?"

"Yes, yes, that is what they came to call it. But I take offense to the use of the term."

Darren shouted, "But it killed Original Cabby! How many others did it kill?"

"Indirectly or directly?"

"Directly."

The Creator thought for a moment. "Well it's hard to say exactly. Maybe two...or three billion? Four maybe?" As Darren and Cabby both gasped, the Creator quickly added, "But, of course, that wasn't my original intent. It was a mistake on my part. I freely admit that. I mean, I started out as a dentist! I had to cram all that bioengineering knowledge!"

Darren felt like sobbing, but Cabby seemed more composed. She asked the Creator, "So, what was the original intent of the Cabby Finder, and how did it go wrong?"

The Creator moved his arm slightly. "Ah, the drug is starting to wear off. I shall leave soon, but fine, I will explain. I originally created the Cabby Finder as a way of finding the Original Cabby. She had run away, you see, and nobody could find her. And yes, I abandoned her many times in her life, including this birthday party, but I wanted to reconnect with her, to set things right. Everyone feared she might be dead, because there were no sightings, and no electronic trail indicating she was still alive, so if she _was,_ she was completely off the grid. And I had to find her. I—they tell me I began to go crazy, but I was stricken with grief. I quit my dental practice and devoted all my time to studying bioengineering. I developed microscopic machines, called nanites, that would be spread from person to person, feeding on nutrients, but without harming their hosts, the people. These nanites would behave like living things, growing and reproducing so they would spread to more and more people. I programmed them to be able to read DNA. They were to search for the exact DNA sequence of the Original Cabby. They were to hop from person to person until they recognized Cabby."

Darren shouted, "So it could kill her?!"

Tears began to stream down the Creator's face, but he could not move to wipe them away. "No, no. I promise that was not my intent! There was an anomaly. The nanites were so small, that I could only program them with the simplest of behaviors. When the nanites found Cabby, they were to instill in her the compulsion to dial a certain phone number—the nanites would plant the number in her mind. I carried a phone with me for two years. No one else had the number. Dialing a phone seems so simple, but it was difficult to program, too complex... I must have made an error. It wasn't my fault. I'm only a dentist! Just a stupid genius dentist!" He sobbed. His arms moved just a little more.

Cabby said, "Daddy, how did it go wrong? How did it kill people?"

"I don't know what went wrong. It just started making people sick—insane. Some people it struck quickly, and they would go insane and die within a few days. Others would grow paranoid and violent. And it kept spreading. That's when they started calling it a virus. People started wearing surgical masks and veils—all useless of course. Wars began because of the insanity it caused. People thought Cabby Finder was a form of germ warfare, and the nations all accused each other! It kept spreading! But I couldn't stop it! And then one day, the special phone I carried, rang..."

Cabby prodded him. "Yes?"

"I answered it, 'Hello, it's Daddy,' I said, because I expected only her—the Original Cabby—to call. And...then I heard Cabby's voice. She answered me. She said, 'Daddy, I'm sick.'"

"Oh, God," Cabby said. "She had caught the virus? She died because of it?"

"Yes, but before she did, I went to her. I remember she had started wearing a veil. I tried to hug her, but she pulled away. I told her I could cure her. I lied. She only had a few days of life left, I knew, and she was...insane. I devised the truth serum, to help focus her thoughts, bring out her true personality, her memories. For nearly twenty hours I asked her questions—about her memories, her thoughts, and I recorded them. The truth serum wore off quickly, so I kept injecting her. Eventually, she went into cardiac arrest."

Cabby shouted, "You killed her?"

"She was going to die anyway."

"But why? Just so you could ask her questions?"

The Creator blinked as if surprised by her outrage. "Why, I was collecting data."

"Yes. I've heard that before! So you collected all this data! What for?"

"Well, I wanted to recreate Cabby's personality and life experiences the best I could. So I collected all the data I could about her on the internet—her online journal, all her postings on social networks—I was even able to get into her email and IM chats. All I was missing was electronic data from the time she went to summer camp, because they weren't allowed to use electronic devices there. I combined the electronic data with the answers Cabby gave me under the truth serum, as well as my own memories of her. I fed all of that data into an artificial intelligence program. And that's what you are."

Cabby's voice was shaking. "Are you saying I'm just some kind of program. I'm not real?"

"Oh, no my dear. That's just how you started out. You are quite real. But you're not perfect. So I decided to only download a part of Original Cabby's memories until I can make a perfect body for her. I mean, don't get me wrong, but I think Cabby's body can be greatly improved, and I have been toiling away hard toward that end. When I repressed my memories, I left intact my love for Cabby and the vague desire to have the One True Cabby return to me via a thumbdrive I had hidden away. It's actually funny that when I repressed my memories, I forgot where I put the thumbdrive, too. So anyway, to try to make the Perfect Cabby, I started with clones, making small changes to her genetic structure. But then I figured I couldn't easily transfer the Original Cabby data to the biologicals. At first, I thought robots were the answer. I gave them a USB slot to aid data transfer. They had the advantage of being more easily synced with the Cabby personality data. Like to like, if you will. But I could not get them right. They turned out cold...hateful. So I moved on, and I found the solution in cyborgs. The best of both worlds. I have been toiling and tinkering, to create the perfect body for the One True Cabby. I am not there yet...far from it, but when I reach my goal... Legend says that a special Cabby will come to give me the original data hidden away on a special thumbdrive. And when I make a perfect version of Cabby, I will download _all_ of the personality data and memories, and create... _finally,_ the One True Cabby. The _perfect_ Cabby. And if she accepts, I will give her the 'I Own You' candy heart."

Cabby seemed to be forcing herself to remain calm. "What is this world we live in?"

Darren was puzzled. It seemed almost an existential question.

The Creator answered surprisingly quickly. "I created a world where Cabby will never die again. A world driven by your, I mean _her,_ thoughts and desires and memories. My expertise, my _genius_ allowed it to come about: a combination of physical matter and mind energy, managed by the mainframe computer, a shelter from the outside world. It is like your dreams made real. You know, Cabby my dear, you should visit me in my personal domicile. I believe I can improve you so much. You're beautiful, but I want to make you beautifuler. You have a single dimple, which is adorable, but I've created a machine that can give you more dimples. Just visit me. Follow the back door of this room until you run across an oak tree with a hollowed room. It is there I dwell. It is known as the Tree on the Edge of the World. Fairy magic applies, so no one can ever find it, no matter how much they look, unless I tell them where it is, but, see I have just told you. Of course, I probably won't remember any of this party once the truth serum wears off, but you can remind me. And so, I am about to give you my last words before I leave, because you are reliving this birthday party, and in the original version, I left early. But please know it wasn't because I didn't love you. It was because I wanted to get high. No, I _needed_ to. I'm so sorry. Last words. I remember the last words that the Original Cabby said to me before she got sick. She called me a 'junkie loser.' I know I made a lot of mistakes, and I'm so sorry."

The Creator roared. Then all of the sudden, Darren had to dodge the lamp the Creator threw at his head.

The room filled with a cloud of smoke.

He began to cough, looked around in confusion.

He grabbed Cabby and together, they stumbled out through the back door, into the back yard.

They looked out at bikes against a fence, rose bushes, a trampoline, a sand box.

She said, "Let's ditch this party."  
"Yeah," he said, "this party's lame."

"Okay, but first..." She lifted the boxcutter out of her purse. "...I'm gonna cut you!" She was kidding of course, but they shared a few giggles. She peered at it. "So what is this thing, anyway?"

"It's a boxcutter."

Cabby's face lit up. "Box's blade! I'm going to cut into the candy heart that Daddy gave me, when he gave me these braces."

When birthday candles go unblown,

And youthful idealisms fade,

Change heart that loved to one that owns,

By slashing with the box's blade.

As she pointed at the notebook, she said, "You see, the poem suddenly makes sense."

She pointed at the candy heart:

I

LUV

U

She said, "If I cut the right side of the L, it becomes a square O. If I slice down the middle of the U, it becomes W. If I add a vertical line to the V, it becomes N, and then, the heart will become..."

I

OWN

U

Within a few minutes, the candy heart had been transformed. It remained black, but the crack disappeared down the middle.

CHAPTER 26

For a moment, Darren considered using the trampoline to go over the fence, but then they saw the gate. While they walked, they talked.

Cabby said, "I want to give him the candy heart. Then, I want to have him give the candy heart to _me._ It's magical, and if he gives it to me and I eat it, we'll be bonded. Then he'll _have_ to love me, right?" Darren saw that she was crying now. He stopped walking to embrace her. On his shoulder, she was mumbling, "And he'll love me and take care of me and be my daddy and we'll live together, and you can stay with us. He'll forget all about creating a perfect Cabby."

Awkwardly, they disengaged. Darren said, "How do you know he'll do that? And if he ever does make a perfect Cabby, he'll want the data on the thumbdrive. What if he takes it from you?"

She sounded uncertain. "I'll just have to convince him not to do that. Maybe I could use the data on the thumbdrive to educate myself about my past life. I could become like the Cabby he remembered, make him forget all about creating his so-called perfect version."

"But the data can't be downloaded into you—you're a biological."

She huffed. "I know that. Don't you think I know that? But I can study the data. And for my own sake, I want to know what my life was like."

"But...Cabby. He said when the truth serum wears off, he might forget things. How do you know he'll even remember meeting you at the party? Have you thought of that?"

"He'll remember me, because he remembered me before, because of my dress. Look, I don't need your discouragement. I've made up my mind and I'll figure out the details when I get there. Now, I don't want to talk about it anymore. So are you coming?" Her brow furrowed. She was looking at him.

"Of course," he said.

A short while later, they saw the tree.

It was a mighty oak, with a door in front, that was slightly open. They couldn't see in, but they heard laughing and what he thought was the Creator's voice shouting, "And I will learn to do the robot!"

"Is that him?" Darren whispered.

She nodded. "Sounds like him."

Darren looked around and saw a kiosk installed into the side of the tree.

He gestured at it with his chin. Cabby shrugged, whispered, "Let's listen a little more, okay?"

They listened at the door without peering in.

In a sad voice, the Creator said, "I don't think she's coming."

Then a female voice answered back, "There's still time."  
"Okay, well in a little bit, I will brush your hair. Just as soon as I finish my nitrous. I'll try not to pass out."

"You always say that, Daddy."

The Creator said, "Yeah, I know. And I really do believe I met a girl at a party who I invited here. I know it sounds weird. Maybe I imagined it. But if I do pass out, wake me up if she gets here. Or tell her to wait for me, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

"You're so pretty. The girl at the party was really quite plain."

"Yes, you said that already, Daddy. I guess I'll just have to see for myself."  
"You're so pretty."

There was a pause, then the Creator said, "Look at that smile! When the girl gets here I'll fire up the dimple machine, and I'll give you both a new dimple! I think you're strong enough now to survive another go."

"It'll hurt, Daddy."

"Beauty is pain, sweety. You're almost perfect, almost ready. Oh, that reminds me! I got you another ponytail. The ponytail of a queen for my adorable little princess! I should implant it into you. It...oh, wow... I'm gonna pass out now... Okay..."

"Sweet dreams, Daddy."

The conversation ended.

Cabby and Darren exchanged glances, then opened the door.

Darren had to squint his eyes at the dimness of the room, lit by the flickering light of strategically-placed birthday candle torches.

He stared at the passed-out Creator. He was sitting on some sort of lawn chair. A canister with a hose and mouthpiece attached rested on the floor in front of him. A table next to him had a box of wine on it.

He was sitting in front of an abomination.

Darren stood with his jaw dropped, taking in,

~*The Cabby Abomination*~

He gazed in slowly-growing terror at the thing before him. It was _like_ Cabby, but distorted, like _too much_ Cabby. It skittered to the side—its head was a lopsided, distorted, huge version of Cabby's head with no veil on, and as it moved, dozens of ponytails shifted and swayed in unison at various points on its head and he realized now, with terror and dread, that it had a single ponytail stemming from the middle of its forehead, swinging in front of its face. The abomination was twinkling in the dim light as if its body was covered in purple body glitter.

In terror, his gaze shifted down its butterfly wings, mismatched arms, and bent, corseted torso. Down to the legs. As he trembled, he stared. It was like some kind of thigh-socked millipede down there, with over twenty pairs of legs, all in thigh socks, and the bare-smooth crotches of over a twenty groins. But here and there, some of the legs were imperfect, some were misshapen—Darren spied one that was bent backwards at the knees, others were too small, some hung limply from the hip. More than enough of the legs though, were functional enough to shift this abomination around. And there, in back of all the legs, swayed a scorpion tail, with a metal stinger crackling with blue electricity.

And then the monster called out to them. "Hi!" It waved. And then it smiled with braces on its teeth. And as it smiled, dimples popped up, all over its body, all at once—hundreds of them.

Darren waved at the abomination, trying to hide his fear and disgust.

The abomination sounded apologetic as it said, "My daddy is taking a nap, but he will probably wake up in a few hours. The nitrous and wine makes him sleepy. Would you like to wait for him?"

Cabby spoke then. "No, I don't think so. We'd like to help you. We were listening. You've got to let us take you away from here!"

"Why? Who are you? Are you the girl from the party?"

"Yes. I'm Cabby1. This is Darren."

"Well, hello. I'm Cabby403, but you may refer to me as Cyborg80. And I don't know why I would want to go anywhere right now. I don't want to miss him waking up. I'm going to make him an egg sandwich. He likes those."

Cabby exclaimed, "But we heard! He wants to give you more ponytails and dimples!"

Darren noticed that there were various devices set against the wall, and he wondered if _that_ was what they were used for. They looked like torture devices.

The abomination said, "Well, of course he does. My daddy loves me, and I love him, and he's gonna make me _beautiful._ He doesn't even _know_ you, and no offense, but you look pretty plain." She rolled her eyes. "Please, why don't you just leave and I won't tell him you came by. Because I just want to go on living my happy life wif my daddy. Or do you not want me to be happy?" She made a pouty face. Darren noted that all the dimples had disappeared.

Cabby said, "Of course not. I... _we_ —" She exchanged a glance with Darren and frowned. She turned back to the abomination. "We're sorry to have bothered you. We'll go now. Please don't tell him we came."

The abomination exhaled a relieved breath. "Okay. And, thank you."

CHAPTER 27

Cabby motioned Darren back with her hand, then quietly closed the door. With head bowed, she walked away, and Darren followed until they were a good distance away.

They stood facing each other. Darren searched into Cabby's eyes and saw that she was afraid.

Darren said to her, "Maybe we should go..."

But Cabby lifted her hand, and with her hand trembling, covered her mouth. She shook her head. "That _thing._ He made her. He's crazy! Aren't two ponytails enough? The thumbdrive." She looked down into her purse, then began to rummage through it.

"Yeah," Darren said, "he's scary. She's scary. I really think we should get out of here..."

She brought the thumbdrive out and raised her head.

Darren said, "What—"

Cabby turned to stare at the kiosk that was on the side of the tree. Her eyes focused on the USB slot. "Remember in the juice cave, how Cyborg14 talked about the special kiosks that link directly into the mainframe?"

Darren felt a rising sense of panic. "Yeah, but at the club's kiosk, we got cut off. So we might not even be able to get in."

She bit her lip. "True. Hold on, I'm gonna look behind the tree real quick, see what's back there." She flew to circle the tree, but a short distance later, her head popped back as if it was pushed and she exclaimed "Oh!" in surprise.

Darren asked, "What happened?"

"There's something here! Glass or something clear?" She reached her palm out into the air and pressed it against something invisible.

Darren went to stand next to her, reached out, and now he could feel it too. It was like a clear barrier, but it wasn't like glass. It was completely invisible, and their hands didn't leave any marks.

Darren thought it seemed like the science fiction concept of a force field. It extended all the way to the ground and to the left and right and above. Cabby flew up to confirm it extended up as far as she went. When they knocked on it, it made a dull pinging sound.

They decided to try to log into the mainframe at the kiosk to see if they could figure anything out.

This kiosk was different from the Club Corruption one, because it had a retina scanner. And it talked. When they pressed a green button, it said, "Please let me retina and dimple scan you?"

Cabby displayed her eyes to the camera. Then she displayed her single dimple.

The kiosk said, "Welcome, Cabby1." Apparently, that was all that was necessary. It didn't even ask for user name and password.

"Yes, please refer to me as Cabby. Just plain ol' Cabby."

"Okay Cabby... Will the other member of your party please let me scan their retina and dimple signature please?"

Darren realized that the computer was referring to him. "Um, sure..." He showed his eyes and made a fake grin to show that he didn't have any dimples.

The kiosk said, "Welcome, Elite Hacker Darren."

"Why do you call me that?"

"That is the most current name I have on file for you. Would you prefer that I refer to you in a different way?"

Darren ignored the question, and instead asked, "Why do you call me a hacker? I mean, I know that's in your file. I mean, why am I a hacker?"

The kiosk said, "You exploited a weakness in the security of the mainframe to inject yourself into the system. You also injected a computer virus into the mainframe for a brief period of time."

Darren felt overwhelmed by all this information. He certainly had no memory of doing the things the computer accused him of. Cabby looked just as confused as he did. He was at a loss as to what to ask, so he just said, "I don't remember doing any of that."

"That is to be expected."

"Explain, please."

"You used a rudimentary and limited personality conversion process to transfer the personality of Original Darren into the mainframe environment, but you were unable to include most of your memories due to size constraints."

"Wait, what are you talking about? Are you saying I somehow transferred an electronic version of myself into the mainframe?"

"Yes. You hacked into the system. All data transfer had been cut off from the outside world, but data transfer was briefly allowed to gather additional information about Original Cabby. You snuck your data in, piggybacked with hers. But you were limited in the amount of information you could include, because you were trying to avoid detection."

Darren struggled to understand all of this. Cabby was trembling beside him. "Wait." He pointed, but then realized the computer might not be able to see. "Next to this kiosk, there's some kind of barrier or something. Is it some kind of force field or something?"

"That's exactly what it is."

He knew that the computer would merely stay cool and plodding no matter what, explaining calmly all those things that were destroying his notions of the reality around him. Darren said, "Explain."

"We are inside a controlled environment surrounded by a dome-shaped force field. The dome is monitored by me, the mainframe computer. I have the capabilities for the manipulation of sensory perception and limited manipulation of matter within the confines of the dome. Has my answer been helpful?"

Darren felt his heart beat quicken. Dormant knowledge he wasn't aware he had, was resurfacing in his mind. "Wait," he said, "are you talking about a virtual reality environment?"

The kiosk said, "Of sorts. It's much more complicated than that. It is a combination of virtual reality, combined with physical manipulations, partially shaped by mind energy, with all of it coordinated by the mainframe computer. However, I am mostly an observer of your world."

Beside him, Cabby murmured quietly in wonder, "A dreamworld..."

"Yes, of sorts," said the kiosk.

Darren said, "Tell me more about myself. I mean, the, uh, Original Darren. He transferred his personality into the system, inside the dome. Why?"

"I assume that he wanted to continue living. However, his stated explanation for the virus was moral objections. He blamed the Creator for the deaths and wars from Cabby Finder. So, he injected his _own_ virus to destroy the dome reality, but if that didn't work, then he wanted to live. He probably felt that transferring his personality into the dome at the same time as the virus would give him that opportunity."

"And the virus wasn't successful?"

"The Creator successfully installed me with an antivirus, although there are still glitches here and there."

Darren swallowed hard. "I see. So, the Original Darren. What happened to him?"

"I am uncertain. There is a high probability that the Original Darren died. I anticipate from your past responses that you may be curious about more details, so I will provide more data. The Original Darren was quite ill at the time, with the program referred to as Cabby Finder _._ That was two years ago in actual time. Incidentally, your infection with Cabby Finder is likely the reason you sought out Cabby1. Her DNA most closely resembles that of the Original Cabby."

Darren felt dizzy. "What-"

"I anticipate that you wish to know more. My records indicate you are already aware of the disease known as Cabby Finder _._ What is 'actual time' you wonder? 'Actual time' is time as it is perceived outside the dome. I have taken it upon myself to greatly speed up everyone's activities inside the dome."

Cabby pouted severely. "I feel normal speed."

The kiosk said, "Yes, it is a relativistic concept. I'll try to explain so that you can understand. To you and everyone else inside the dome, I have made it so that you perceive everything in the dome to be at 'normal' speed. But anyone outside the dome would view you as moving extremely quickly."

Darren struggled with the idea. "So, if we looked out at the people outside the dome?..."

"Well, there are no people right now. The dome was built in the middle of a desert to avoid detection—it is also very small in comparison to the size of humans. But if there were people standing outside, it would seem as if they were standing still. Each of their seconds would be equivalent to millions of years inside of the dome. It is somewhat like the mythical concept of fairy time."

Darren's jaw dropped. "Holy...crap."

Cabby asked, "But why?"

"I felt it was appropriate to lengthen your perception of your lives, due to the fact that a nuclear device has been detonated a close distance to the dome. The force field will not be strong enough to withstand it. The blast will destroy the dome in 1.7 milliseconds, actual time."

Darren looked into the forest beyond the force field, then up into the skyline. Blue calm. Wisps of fluffy clouds. Cabby was looking as well.

She said, "I don't see anything."

Darren frowned and shook his head. "Me neither."

The kiosk spoke again in its slow, plodding voice. "I have provided an illusion of the outside of the dome, in order to provide a more pleasant tactile and visual experience, because my databases indicate that humans often adversely react to reminders of imminent destruction."

Cabby said, "So you can take away the illusion and show how the world really looks outside the dome? It won't hurt us?"

"I can do that if you wish. I can make the force field transparent, but I will filter out any harmful radiation, for your safety."

Darren felt Cabby grab his hand. Darren was afraid and much of him didn't want to admit that any of this was happening.

Cabby said, "I think I would like to see what the world looks like out there, but first I have some questions."

"Shoot."

"Where did the nuclear device come from?"

"The source is unknown. It could have come from any one of numerous nations unleashing nuclear weapons."

Cabby thought about that for a moment. "How many nuclear weapons have been—you know what, never mind. I don't want to know. You say Darren is a hacker? Does that mean he has some control over the mainframe system?"

The kiosk said, "Darren, would you like me to update you on your current status?"

Darren answered, "Yes, please."

"Access to high level controls has been shut off for you. But you still retain many medium level controls."

Cabby asked, "Do _I_ have those authorities?"

"You do not."

She asked, "And Daddy runs you?"

"He does not. I have taken it upon myself to limit his authorities, because he has become insane. His personality file has become corrupted."

She nodded. "Yes, he seems obsessed with creating the Perfect Cabby. I have a thumbdrive of the Original Cabby's personality."

"I know."

"So tell me, does it really have all the data of the Original Cabby's personality?"

"Yes, all the known data."

She asked, "Are there any other copies?"

"There are not."

"So, if the data on the thumbdrive was erased, Daddy would never be able to recreate the Original Cabby? To make the um, what was it called, the Perfect Cabby Facsimile?"

The kiosk said, "That is correct."

She seemed to think for a moment, then said, "I'd like to erase the data from the thumbdrive. Is there any other data on it?"

"Other than the virus, there is not. I must inform you that you do not have the authority to give that command. Darren has the authority, though."

"But the virus would infect you if I inserted the thumbdrive, right?" Darren said.

The computer said, "The virus is of no threat to the mainframe system."

"But the faebots were infected..." Cabby said.

"The faebots are still susceptible to it. The Creator failed to immunize them, because he didn't deem it necessary. I am programmed to observe a non-interference policy in your world. So I cannot stop it from infecting the faebots."

Cabby took the cap off the thumbdrive. "So can I insert this thumbdrive? You're safe right?"

The kiosk answered, "Correct."

"And you won't read or transfer the data without our permission?"

"That is correct."

Darren wondered how they could trust the computer. But maybe they had no choice. And everything the computer said had seemed trustworthy so far.

He watched as Cabby lifted the thumbdrive, then inserted it into the slot. The kiosk made a beep sound, then was silent.

Cabby looked at him. "Darren, I would like to erase the files. Will you give the command?"

"If you want, but will you please think about it a little bit? All the data of your life outside the dome is in those files. It's like a part of you. I wish I could have all _my_ memories back."

"But what use are they to me? I can't download them into myself because I'm a biological. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and read about a life I don't even remember having? That sounds terrible."

Darren didn't know what to say to that.

Cabby continued, "And I don't want Daddy getting his hands on it either. Why? Just so he can fill some cyborg's brain with some imperfect simulation of what I _used_ to be? And that multi-ponytailed _thing_ he created. Not a good look. Nah, who needs files of my _past_ life. The whole life I've ever known is here, and as long as I have you by my side, that's all I need."

Darren nodded. "Okay, if you want the files erased..."

"I do."

"Okay, computer, please erase all the files on the thumbdrive."

"Task completed," said the computer.

Cabby said, "So the files are completely erased now? They're gone forever?"

"That is correct."

It was then that the dread hit him. He felt as if something had suddenly been lost from the universe, and it had slipped away without a whimper, in an instant. Then he thought about the impending disaster outside the dome, and the universe suddenly seemed uncaring and casual.

Cabby was saying, "Darren..."

"Yes?" he said. His eyes were tearing up.

She saw his tears then and gently pressed her hand to his cheek. "It's okay. Those files weren't me. The real me is right here, by your side. Um, but can I ask you to give another little command for me?"

"Yes? What?"

"Well I'm not sure if you have the authority, but could you try changing all the faebots' sexual orientations to 'lesbian'? You know, on Faespace and Faesbook?"

Darren was confused, then suddenly understood. "So that they'll spread the virus to each other?"

"You got it. They've been ruling over the biologicals for way too long."

Darren nodded. "I'll try. Computer, please permanently change the sexual orientation on all the faebots' Faespace and Faesbook profiles to 'lesbian' and their relationship status to 'swinger.'"

The kiosk said, "Task completed."

Darren asked Cabby, "Anything else?"

"Well, that's it for now, except I do want to do one thing."

"Yes?"

"I want to see what it looks like...out there. Outside the dome, where I guess we can never go. Is that right, computer?"

"You would die immediately, so for your own safety, I can not allow that."

Darren said, "I want to see, too."

Cabby said, "Computer, please show us."

Suddenly, the world behind the tree seemed to disappear, replaced by a very different outside world. The ground was barren desert. Off in the distance, in the sky, they could see a huge ball of light, which the computer told them was the nuclear explosion. It said that it could filter out the harmful radiation, but when the shockwave hit in a couple of milliseconds, the force field would not be able to withstand the blast.

"But don't worry," the kiosk said. "You will perceive your lives to be millions of years long."

So they stared out at this strange, alien landscape, frozen mere instants before its ravagement.

As his eyes were scouring the strange new world before him, Cabby poked his side playfully. "Darren..." she said, teasingly.

"Hmm?"

"I have something for you. You left the camp to come help me, and you've been with me this entire time. And I think we make a great team. And well, no matter what happens next, I know that I want you with me, and well, here..." She rummaged in her purse, brought something up, holding it between her thumb and finger. "Will you accept this from me? Because I, you know, _heart_ you." She was holding a black candy heart. The same one that she had carved into, so that it said, "I OWN U." _The one she had originally intended to give to her father._

He reached for the candy heart, said, "I will," took it, popped it in his mouth. She watched him as he chewed and swallowed it. Her eyes welled up. He felt the magical warmth fill him, like love in his tummy. It was yummy as their rings began to glow simultaneously purple.

He was happy, because now he belonged to Cabby. Magic poetry entered his head. He suddenly realized that his entire life, the sky he had gazed at had been an illusion. And all the stars had been fake. He smiled, then said to her, "What use are all the stars in the sky, when all that I need, is here in your eyes?"

She smiled. Her brow furrowed. "Hmm?"

"Those are the last lines of my poem. It's now complete."

"Good. You'll have to read it to me."

They kissed, then held hands as they gazed out at the end of the world frozen in place.

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_MachoPoni: A Prance with Death_ excerpt: The Prologue

Mohawked pony art copyright © 2008 by Emma Björk~http://Honeykitten.deviantart.com
PROLOGUE

Machoponi and the Lost Blue Ball

Name: Machoponi

Type: Bedroom Eyes Miniponi

Body: Purple

Hair: Violet

Eyes: Green

Quote: "It's so hard being macho!"

Machoponi gazed into the landscape of the Dark Kingdom, with a scowl on his face. He was waiting for some of the undead soldiers to come out from the large, olive green military tent about thirty-five feet away. The soldiers would probably be waking up soon, because it was almost dusk.

It never ceased to amaze him how the whole world changed within such a short distance. On the side where Machoponi stood was the Pastel Kingdom, with its green grass, blue skies and butterflies...but then all the bright colors abruptly stopped and on the other side of a crack in the earth, the sky was gray and dark, and the grass was brown.

That crack in the earth was the ancient Jagged Line from the Great Dividing and was just a leaping distance away from Machoponi. The Jagged Line stretched all the way across Poniworld and split it in half. It was the line that was deadly to cross. During the Great Dividing, the earth had quaked and a crack formed in the ground. On that fateful day, all the ponies on the other side of the Jagged Line had been transformed from pastel ponies into undead ponies.

Machoponi felt his heartbeat quicken—over there in the Dark Kingdom, some of the members of the undead army were coming out of the tent.

With mean eyes, six of them came out the front opening, and looked around suspiciously. Their coats were dark gray, their tails and manes were scraggly and dirty silver, as was typical of the undead. One of them had a mohawk hairstyle.

Their black eyes narrowed upon seeing Macho. Macho had been there to greet them at the same time for the past three days.

"Hey sissy!" one of them yelled. That one nudged two others, then the whole group turned and mooned Machoponi.

Machoponi gave them the tongue back.

"Bet you wish you had some chocolate mints!" one of the soldiers taunted.

"Chocolate mints are for losers!" Machoponi called back.

Their hateful scowls faltered slightly as they saw what Macho held under his front right hoof: it was a blue ball. Jealousy showed on their undead faces as they gazed at the ball. It was the first time they'd seen it. Machoponi had been practicing with it for weeks. Now was his chance to show off.

He flipped the ball up and bounced it repeatedly on his knee.

The dead-in-the-eyes stares from across the Jagged Line chilled Machoponi straight to the bone. He trembled slightly, but he was absolutely determined not to fumble in front of them, and he quickly regained his confident command of the ball.

As they realized that they couldn't intimidate him into flubbing, one by one, members of the group left to use the latrines. That was why they had exited the tent in the first place—Machoponi knew their habits.

The undead ponies were ignoring him now, or at least trying to pretend they were, but Machoponi could see their every-once-in-a-while sideways glances to where he was, and the brief flashes of jealousy.

Normally, the citizens of each kingdom kept on their side of the cracked earth, because if a living pony entered the Dark Kingdom, it would slowly make them sicker and eventually kill them, and if an undead pony crossed over into the Pastel Kingdom, it would immediately cause them to disintegrate.

Machoponi bounced the ball higher up off of his knee, then bounced it twice on the top of his head, then went back to bouncing it on his knee.

The undead ponies across the line tried hard to look unimpressed. Most of the ponies had used the latrines already and had returned to the group.

Macho let the ball come to rest on top of his knee, then tipped his leg so the ball rolled down the front of his right leg, then held it balanced on his hoof, then kicked and rolled the ball back up his leg, rolled it over the back of his neck and down his front left leg, then held it balanced on his front left hoof.

The undead ponies who were watching him scoffed and rolled their eyes.

Machoponi grinned and wriggled his nose mockingly. He kicked the ball high up into the air. When the ball came back down, he bounced it off his tail, sending the ball into a forward arc—he stood, staring at the undead ponies with an innocent expression as the ball hung in the air—it landed eight feet in front of him on the ground inside the Dark Kingdom! He'd given it just the right amount of back spin so that it didn't bounce, but hugged the ground and rolled backwards...he lifted his front right leg, where it rolled neatly underneath his hoof and he stepped on it and held it there.

The undead stood with their jaws dropped.

Machoponi grinned a little. They had been quite unsuccessful in ignoring him.

The leading officer, indicated by his dirty-silver mohawk, who Machoponi knew was named Dolph, swore angrily, then bid his group to follow him and they all went back inside the tent.

Machoponi laughed hysterically.

It felt so good to be macho.

He was laughing so hard, he had to bend his head down. But then his leg twitched and he accidentally nudged the ball, and it started rolling quickly toward the Jagged Line!

He stopped laughing.

His eyes went wide.

All he could do was watch as the ball sped across the line, into the dark side, and it just kept rolling, until it finally came to rest a few feet in front of the tent.

Macho muttered something rude under his breath.

He pouted severely. He had no choice but to go retrieve it.

This ball was special because it had a spell put on it that made it unpopable. A magician had cast the spell to honor Macho's war hero grandfather, Studponi. The ball, which had been a gift from Studponi's daughter, had been the only thing motivating Studponi to stay alive as he lay hiding in a trench surrounded by Nazi ponies. Studponi survived his ordeal and passed the ball down to Macho's father, who had just given it to Macho on his 16th birthday. And now Machoponi had lost it in a matter of a few weeks.

He pouted severely again.

Well, he had no choice but to cross over into the dark side and retrieve it. He knew that being there would make him sick—those foolish ponies who went into the Dark Kingdom on a dare, even for a brief moment, would be ill for several days. He was lucky, at least, that all the soldiers were inside the tent and didn't see him lose his ball. He supposed that most other ponies his age might be too afraid to cross the Jagged Line, at least not without other ponies to help. But he wasn't a regular pony. He was Machoponi and he had a reputation to protect.

He took a determined breath, muttered to himself, "It's so hard being macho," then began walking to get his ball back!

He stood right on the edge. He'd never crossed the Jagged Line before. His legs began to tremble.

He looked to the tent. The past three days, when the undead ponies had gone into the large military tent, they'd stayed inside for hours. That was when Machoponi would leave, because there was no point in waiting around.

If he was quiet enough, he was sure he could get his ball back without incident. As long as he didn't stay over there too long, there would be no risk of becoming undead.

He closed his eyes and took the plunge.

A chill immediately engulfed his body.

He shuddered, opened his eyes and everything looked murkier. It was startling to see and feel how different it was from the Pastel Kingdom.

As if to reassure himself that his homeland was still there, he jerked his head to look behind him. The sudden movement made his stomach lurch, but the sight of his home comforted him.

He was feeling nauseous and weak. The air had a sickly-sweet smell like rotting garbage.

It was just like ponies said it was.

Machoponi wasn't looking forward to being sick the next few days, but he knew he was a lot tougher than most other ponies, because he was Machoponi, and he knew he could stay inside the Dark Kingdom longer than most, at least long enough to get his ball back.

With wobbly knees, trying to be as quiet as possible, he walked to the ball. Quickly, he nudged it toward the Jagged Line. It rolled on the ground, then went across, coming to a rest a few feet past it.

He sighed with relief.

The ball was safe now. The undead couldn't cross the Jagged Line: it was said to literally cause their flesh to melt.

But now his curiosity was piqued by something else. He cocked his head to listen. He could hear strange noises coming from the inside of the tent. A couple of the soldiers were cackling maniacally. One of them kept saying, "Mmmm."

Macho wondered what the hell was going on in there.

Then, even though he knew it might not be such a smart idea, but because he was so overwhelmingly macho, he slipped his head inside the front flap of the tent and yelled, "You're all a bunch of morons!"

The next part of his plan was to take off galloping until he was safely on the other side of the Jagged Line. But instead of running, Machoponi's jaw dropped as he gazed in wide wonder at the scene before his eyes.

They were gambling! They were all standing around a green baccarat table, which Macho knew was used for playing a card game. Next to their cards were piles of fruit, which they seemed to be betting with! It was scandalous! Gambling was absolutely forbidden on the pastel side, but apparently there was no decency here. How could they allow it without all the ponies falling into depravity? But what was even worse was that there was a marble table off to the side piled with chocolate candy! Machoponi guessed that they were chocolate mints. He'd never personally seen any, but he knew ponies who said they had. Chocolate mints had been forbidden on the pastel side, and all the recipes were said to be destroyed—over time, the pastel ponies had forgotten how to make them. But the undead ponies in the Dark Kingdom made and consumed them all the time—and they were known to sometimes smuggle them across the Jagged Line in trade. Ponies were said to get some kind of "good feeling" from the mints.

But the elders said that it caused you to lose discipline and eventually ruined your body and caused you to die. But the undead were already dead, so maybe it didn't matter to them. Besides, the elders seemed to lie about a lot of things.

The six ponies in the tent stared dumbly back at Machoponi.

Then they all busted out laughing!

The leading officer of the group, Dolph, grinned widely—he had mesmerizing dimples and the sharp incisors of the undead. He replied, "It seems that _you're_ the moron. Don't you know that crossing the Jagged Line will kill you?"

Macho gritted his teeth. He knew that Dolph was telling the truth.

So if he wasn't stupid, he would leave now, while he still had a chance, but that macho part of his soul kept pushing him to do aggressive things.

Maybe he could just administer a quick bludgeoning...he didn't know how he could live with himself if he turned tail and galloped away.

Macho growled to himself during his moment of indecision, his mind switching back and forth between the two choices. Then in the interest of self-preservation, he took off galloping. But then he stopped halfway to the Jagged Line.

Something was itching at the back of his mind.

He looked back toward the tent. One of the soldiers was just now sticking his head out of the front, with a goofy grin on his face.

Macho felt a strange twinge of envy. He wished that he could be happy like that, rather than tormented and edgy. What was making the undead ponies so gleeful? Was it the thrill of gambling? The chocolate mints? He put on his best endearing grin, then started walking back toward the tent. "Hey!" he called out. "Can I try some of those chocolate mints?"

Now all the undead ponies had stepped outside. They eyed Machoponi suspiciously, then looked to see what Dolph decided. Dolph nodded—his mohawk wobbled slightly, then he called out, "Our chocolate mints are the greatest! If you become one of us undead, you can have them everyday! Why don't you come inside and try some?"

"Really?" Macho called back. "You won't try to kill me?"

"Of course not," Dolph replied, "if you don't try to kill _us._ " The other undead ponies chuckled. "But listen, we'll let you go, and you can tell everyponi about the chocolate mints so they can cross over and become converted. It'll work out for both of us." He grinned.

Machoponi had a habit of acting without thinking a lot of the time. All he knew at that moment, was that he really wanted to see what all the fuss was about with the chocolate mints. He decided he would trick the undead ponies into letting their guards down, which would make it easier for him to escape later. So he started walking back toward the group of undead ponies and said, "Really, I've been thinking a lot lately about maybe joining you undead. You seem to have a lot of fun. It gets pretty boring with everything being pastel all the time."

The undead ponies stepped inside the tent and he followed them. They all eagerly walked to the table piled with chocolate mint candies, then started nudging with their noses and taking pieces into their mouths. There was a strange scent in the air, which Machoponi assumed was mint. He bit his lip as he watched them with excitement rising up inside him.

Dolph fixed Macho with a big grin, with his dimples deep and prominent. He nudged a chocolate in Macho's direction on the table. "Go ahead and give it a go," Dolph said coaxingly.

Macho was feeling afraid, even though he was usually overly brave. The candy looked brown and kind of gross, actually. He remembered the stories he'd heard and asked, "Is it green on the inside?"

"Yeah," Dolph replied, "that's the mint part. It mixes with the chocolate inside your mouth and wooooo." He blew out a shuddering breath into the air in front of him.

Machoponi arched his brow. "It's that good, huh?"

"There's nothing better."

There was a part inside of Machoponi, a dark side, that had always remained hidden. It was the part moving his legs forward, causing his head to dip. He'd just have a little. What could a little hurt?

He took the candy into his mouth. He bit in—the taste was foreign to him. He began to chew, then the cooling sensation hit him, mixing in with the dark chocolate beginning to melt in his mouth.

It was like a shooting cold chill going throughout his mouth and his head. It felt so good. It was a lot like the chill he had felt upon entering the dark side, but this chill wasn't bad at all, and now he realized how a chill could actually feel very good. It was a feeling of glorious ecstasy. He closed his eyes and his eyelids began to twitter. He opened his mouth and blew out a breath of cool air. Now he knew what all the fuss was about.

He opened his eyes to see everyponi staring at him.

Dolph's dimpled grin slowly crept up the side of his face. "It's good, huh?"

Macho just stood looking at him, trying to savor every moment of that minty chocolate flavor in his mouth.

Dolph fixed him with a flirtatious stare. "It's all yours, if you join us. We can make your death pleasant." Macho tried to remain outwardly calm, despite the rising fear inside of him, which came partly from the fact that the undead ponies were blocking the only way out of the tent, and partly from the fact that he was actually considering joining.

"Have another piece," Dolph was saying now, with that pointy grin of his, and now all the ponies were approaching Macho. When they got close enough, Machoponi had no doubt that they would pounce. He scanned his eyes madly around the inside of the tent, looking for a way out.

But then he attained a sudden, brilliant surge of thought—the influence of the mints had cleared the obscuring clutter in his mind.

In a sudden mental jump, he imagined himself in the future, obsessed with attaining the next chocolate. Just like everything else in life, he knew that it would become "not enough" and he would constantly be seeking to increase the fix. So he knew that the way to get the soldiers' attention off of him was to offer _them_ a better fix.

The chocolate mints caused his mind to form connections it normally wouldn't. He could see now in his mind's eye, a "glorious combination."

~*strawberry and banana*~

The undead ponies were taken aback by the expression of self-satisfaction upon Macho's face.

"What?" muttered Dolph, taking a step backward.

Machoponi nodded his head over to the baccarat table piled with fruit. He spoke slowly, with blank eyes, like a poni possessed: "Take the strawberry and banana, mush them together. Eat them, then follow with a chocolate mint."

Expressions of fear came across the undead ponies' faces.

Dolph chuckled uneasily. "That's ridiculous," he said. "Strawberry and banana are two separate fruits. It is unnatural to combine them!"

"What, are you scared? Of course it's unnatural! That's why it's so good! Do it," Macho stated simply. "It'll be an amazing rush."

The group of undead ponies nodded eagerly. That was all they needed to hear.

"Here," Macho lulled sweetly, as he walked to the baccarat table, "I'll show you." He nudged three strawberries next to a banana. He began to peel the banana with his teeth as the undead ponies watched. His distraction was working. They were completely enthralled.

He took a bite of banana, then took a strawberry into his mouth. He swallowed and his head lurched back—he bumped into a poni behind him and started shuddering.

"Quick, give me a chocolate mint!" Macho shouted. One of the undead guided him to the chocolate mint table, because Macho's legs were shaking so much that he could barely walk. His eyes were rolling up into the back of his head and his mouth was writhing. He was whimpering, and he dropped the chocolate mint twice before getting it into his mouth. And then he was holding that delectable candy in his mouth—he was biting down and it was mixing and melting in his mouth!

Macho looked around at the hooves of the other ponies and he realized that he had fallen down. He raised his gaze to look at them. He had to close one eye, because it was difficult to look out of both at the same time.

The soldiers were gathered around the baccarat table, with strawberries and bananas in front of them. Their eyes were rolling in their heads—they looked insane.

They were completely ignoring Machoponi, so he simply stood up and walked out of the tent. He then began to gallop toward the Jagged Line. But he was having trouble galloping straight—the Jagged Line seemed to be shifting to his right, and then he heard a call behind him: "Hey, get him! He's getting away!"

He looked behind him to see the group of soldiers spreading out from the tent, like a blooming flower of doom, veering off in various crooked lines. Dolph was the only one who seemed to be able to run somewhat straight, and he was quickly catching up.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Dolph yelled.

Briefly, their gazes locked, and what Machoponi saw in those eyes terrified him. He tried to calm himself and focus on reaching the Jagged Line. If he could just get across, he would be okay.

Macho turned his head forward. He was getting closer to the Jagged Line, but he could hear the sounds of Dolph's hooves closing in on him.

Machoponi crossed the Jagged Line and the world seemed to explode with pastel colors.

He gave a sigh of relief then stopped and turned around in order to mock Dolph. But his eyes widened as he saw Dolph still galloping toward him! Dolph's face was contorted with a grimace so hate-filled that it almost looked like he was smiling.

Dolph came closer and closer as Machoponi watched, frozen in fear. Machoponi tried to turn around and start running again, but his body was too slow to respond.

Dolph was almost upon him. Machoponi shouted out, "The line!" in a desperate attempt to make Dolph stop.

Dolph galloped to within five feet from Machoponi, but then an expression of fear came across his face, and he tried to come to a complete halt all of a sudden while he was directly over the Jagged Line, with his front half in the Pastel Kingdom and his back half in the Dark Kingdom. Dolph howled in pain as he dug his back legs into the ground.

The wrenching movement tore his body in half. Momentum caused his two front legs to keep stumbling forward as his back legs catapulted themselves back and fell over, spraying a cloud of blood into the air and trailing intestines onto the ground.

Machoponi stepped to the side as Dolph's front half sprinted past him, then crashed face down next to the blue ball...then his tummy and intestines plopped over so that he was laying on his side. Dolph wriggled on the ground for a few seconds with terrified eyes while cursing and spitting up blood, then his body went still.

Macho cautiously approached Dolph's front half and tapped it with his hoof. The flesh felt soggy—it was already starting to disintegrate.

He looked back into the Dark Kingdom to see Dolph's back half twitching in a pool of blood.

The undead ponies seemed to be dazed by what happened. After several moments, one of them slurred, "More strawrana," then they all turned around and headed back to the tent.

Machoponi nudged the blue ball with his hoof—it had a few spatters of blood on it. Solemnly, he headed back to his village. He felt quite ill and knew he would be sick for the next few days. He squinted his eyes, because the Pastel Kingdom seemed so bright after having been in the Dark Kingdom.

More info and artwork is available at the MachoPoni myspace page, at

<http://www.myspace.com/machoponi>

