
TODAY WE'RE GONNA TALK
ABOUT LEWIS AND CLARK.

- SO THOMAS JEFFERSON
WAS PRESIDENT.

HE'S, LIKE, YEAH,
I'M GONNA TAKE--

I'M GONNA DOUBLE THE EXPANSE
OF AMERICA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE.
- YEAH.
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WELL, WHAT IS OUT THERE?
- I'M GONNA BUY IT.
I'M GONNA BUY IT.
SO HE BOUGHT IT, AND THEN HE HAD
THIS DUDE WHO WAS HIS FRIEND
NAMED...
- MERIWETHER LEWIS
- JEFFERSON IS TELLING THEM...
- WE BOUGHT THIS LAND.
EXPLORE IT.
MAKE ME A MAP.
HERE'S YOUR DEAL.
- LIKE A BANK, MAKE FRIENDS
WITH THE [bleep] INDIANS.
- HERE'S THE DEAL
WITH MERIWETHER LEWIS, THOUGH...
HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER--
- [belches]
- HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER.
- HE WAS SUCH A BUMMER.
SO LEWIS IS TASKED
WITH PICKING A PARTNER,
AND HE PICKED CLARK.
UH, LEWIS SAYS, LIKE...
- THERE'S NO ONE
I WOULD RATHER EXPLORE
THIS [bleep] UP TERRITORY WITH
THAN YOU.
THEY WANTED TO FIND
A WATERWAY PASSAGE
TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN.
SO THEY STARTED
IN MISSOURI.
- THEY'RE SEEING THESE
BEAUTIFUL [bleep]...
- LIKE, VALLEYS AND RIVERS
AND MOUNTAINS
AND GORGEOUS ROCK FACES
AND VALLEYS,
AND THESE CRAZY PLAINS
THAT GO ON FOREVER.
- AND THERE THEY [bleep] ARE.
SO THEY WERE, LIKE...
- WE'RE--THIS IS OURS NOW
BECAUSE WE BOUGHT IT
FROM THE [bleep] FRENCH.
- SO THEY'RE ON THE RIVER,
AND THEY HEAR...
- THE NEXT TRIBE OVER
ARE [bleep]!
- THEY'RE--DUDE.
THEY'RE TOTAL DICKS.
I REMEMBER THIS, YEAH.

- THE LAKOTA INDRIANS
SAW LEWIS AND CLARK,

AND THEY WERE READY
TO KILL THEM.
THEY WERE, LIKE...
- WE'RE GONNA [bleep]
YOUR [bleep] UP.
- SO THEY WERE, LIKE...
- OH, WE MIGHT NEED
TO BE DICKS ABOUT THIS.
- THE CHIEF OF THE LAKOTA TRIBE
SEES THAT IT'S ABOUT TO BE
A STAB-ON-STAB BRAWL
AT THE RIVERBANK,
AND HE SAYS...
- EVERYONE CHILL OUT.
CHILL OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS CAN STAY, AS LONG AS
THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN
COME AND LOOK AT YOU.
- EWW, THAT'S CREEPY.
- THEY WERE ABLE TO STAY
WITH THE LAKOTA TRIBE
FOR ALMOST TWO WEEKS.
[tribal music]
AND SO EACH
OF LEWIS AND CLARK'S MEN
GOT, LIKE, FOUR WIVES.
- YEAH, THEY WERE, LIKE...
LATER DAYS,
I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT THESE--
- LIKE, HOOKERS.
- ALL THE HOOKER WIVES.
- AND SURE ENOUGH,
EVERYONE ON THE EXPEDITION,
THEY GOT [bleep]
CRAZY STDs.
- CRAZY VD.
AND LEWIS...
HE WOULD HAVE TO GIVE THEM
A MERCURY TONIC.
- MERCURY ON YOUR GENITALS!
COME ON!
- IT'S CRAZY-POISONOUS!
- I DON'T MEAN TO,
LIKE, COMPLAIN,
BUT THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.
- THEY'D GONE 1,000 MILES.
