This programme contains very strong
language and adult humour.
Hello and welcome
to New World Order.
The year 2020 began with Australia
on fire and 1 billion animals dead.
Little did we know then that that
would be the feel-good
story of the other year.
The longer this year has gone on,
the more we realise that
Jeffrey Epstein must have been
really holding things
together behind the scenes.
LAUGHTER.
Still so much...
There is still so much we don't
know about Covid-19.
All we know for certain that it's
a virus that affects the respiratory
system that the Chinese manufactured
in a lab in a desperate,
final attempt to kill Prince Philip.
Then lockdown came in.
To maintain social distancing,
football clubs told their players
not to spit roast anyone shorter
than six foot two.
People tried to stay positive.
In my local park, someone tried
to cheer people up by writing,
"You got this" in chalk
on the ground.
Literally the last thing that anyone
wants to hear during a pandemic.
Boris Johnson caught Covid and later
said contingency plans had
been made for his death.
That's true, I bought fireworks.
Of course, I'm very glad
Boris Johnson didn't die.
I wouldn't have wanted that.
But I would have much preferred
to see clawed hands rise from a vent
in the ground and drag his living
body into hell.
The messaging from the government
has been confusing.
It's amazing that Boris Johnson,
who drove a JCB with "Get Brexit
done" on it through a polystyrene
wall waited until a life or death
pandemic to discover
a gift for ambiguity.
I eventually worked out how to make
customers in Waitrose stay two
metres away from me.
I started carrying an Aldi bag.
Then we had the news
that cats can get it,
something I found quite worrying
until I found out it's not
sexually transmitted.
LAUGHTER.
Cat tested...
A cat tested positive for Corona
and had a series of strokes,
which it really enjoyed.
It's the last clean
joke in the show.
There was a big anti-mask
protest at the weekend.
There are of course perfectly
acceptable reasons to not
want to wear a mask.
For example, you might be
a total fucking moron.
Some advice even suggested
that we wear masks during sex.
Way ahead of you.
The trick is to try and make it fun
and act out your sexual fantasies.
I like to imagine my partner
is a highway woman,
the thrill-seeking wife
of an impotent aristocrat.
And she likes to imagine
that I'm someone else.
OK, let's get on with the show.
APPLAUSE.
Joining me tonight to discuss
the week's big topics
are Sara Pascoe, Miles Jupp,
and Sophie Duker.
Welcome.
So, we've got no audience,
this is pretty much the society
that the earlier series
of this show predicted.
I want to get back to live shows.
You can't sing. I didn't think this
show would be the same without the
songs. I heard they edit them out!
How are yous doing?
Have you had a good lockdown?
No one's had a good one.
Have you?
I was quite optimistic at the start.
I thought this is a great
opportunity to just
reappraise everything.
And, then, I sort of
reappraised everything
and realised I was depressed.
That was a wake-up call.
No, I mean, bits
of it have been good.
I watched the Wire again.
That does sound like depression!
I started secret baking.
Why is it secret?
Because I didn't think
it was possible to bake and not tell
people about it on social media
but it turns out that it is.
I baked a biscuit and didn't
take a picture of it.
You just tell people about on TV.
But there are no pictures
of the actual biscuit!
OK, we're going to
do our first motion.
First up...
Joining us to discuss the pandemic,
please welcome Mr Guz Khan!
How are you?
Are you having a good pandemic?
Having a great pandemic.
I've really enjoyed it,
I feel bad because a lot of people
out there saying they're struggling,
being isolated, being in their
house, but I love that, man.
Are you getting into
this fitness kick?
I need to because all of the reports
and medical expertise said
if you are fat and brown,
it's game over, so I was
trying to keep it real.
I was trying to move a little bit.
But, unfortunately,
when everyone said that
all shops were closed,
Dixie Chicken was
still active, so...
They were on it!
Back in March, even before this
lockdown, Boris Johnson you one
thing and one thing alone
was guaranteed to beat
the coronavirus.
The slapdash buffoonery
of a man with a general air
of a horny pile of laundry.
Here he is displaying an ill-advised
blokey confidence in an awkwardly
staged press conference.
I can tell you I...
I...
I am shaking hands continuously.
I was at a hospital the other night
where I think there were actually
a few coronavirus patients,
and I shook hands with everybody,
you'll be pleased to know,
and I continue to shake hands,
I think the scientific evidence...
Well, I will hand over
to the experts...
Wash your hands.
Our judgment is wash, washing your
hands is the crucial thing.
He was sort of right,
though, in that he said,
"You'll be pleased to know
I was shaking hands
with coronavirus patients",
and I was pleased to know that.
I suppose that Vallance guy as well,
he is the one having to stand next
to Johnson so that every time
where he is going off on something,
he is having to slightly...
It is a bit, like, now, now,
children, sometimes grandma says
things she doesn't mean.
There is that sort of kind
of aspect to the peacekeeping
in the fact that he is going,
"WASH YOUR HANDS!
"I'm sorry do continue,
continue, I just thought
it was important that people...
WASH YOUR HANDS!
DON'T LISTEN!
WASH YOUR HANDS!
No, do continue, Prime Minister.
A lot of it is very sensible.
The thing with telling people
to wash their hands is the only
consistent piece of advice
the government has given
is wash your hands,
which is the thing everyone should
have been doing anyway.
It's like a restaurant being, like,
"We will sort out the glass
and the food but remember to chew!"
How do you think the
government's done overall?
There are very few governments
who have done amazing
because the crisis is absolutely
terrible on every level,
for individuals who have been
affected, for economy,
for businesses.
I don't know, I wouldn't want to be
in charge of the country trying
to deal with this problem.
I don't look at other politicians
from other parties and think, "Slam,
they could have handled this".
Yes, it's unprecedented.
We had my man on the TV saying,
I am shaking everybody's hands,
despite there were virologists
worldwide saying human contact
is going to cause an absolute chaos
for us all worldwide.
The one thing I've learned
about this pandemic, really,
is you can do as shit a job as this
government has and providing you're
still willing to pop migrants boats
in the middle of the sea,
British public's got your back.
I think the big story
come out of the pandemic
narratives they want to push
are stuff, like,
"Eat out to help out"
or "Everybody clap".
You know what, the clapping
was sick, though.
We've got this neighbour who lives
opposite, like, ten doors down,
and he was properly on it,
banging pots and pans.
He was, like, "I didn't really
like Filipinos before but I'll
give them a chance now."
As the pandemic took hold,
the government knew they had someone
in their ranks with the gravitas
and keen intellect required to keep
the country calm and well-informed.
Instead, they used Matt Hancock.
Here is the mentally decrepit health
Minister rambling his Covid
briefing from the doorway
of Britain's largest cupboard.
Sam asks, "The likes of gardens
and big shops are now beginning
to reopen with social distancing
measures in place.
When will UK zoos be
able to say the same?"
And, Sam, thank you
for your question.
It's something that is close
to my heart because...
My...
Because Chester zoo is such
a fantastic zoo, and coming
from Chester myself,
I know it extremely well.
Not least because, unlike some other
shops that can just close,
you've still got to be
there in the zoo looking
after the animals.
Thanks very much, Sam.
Of all the things to care
about in a pandemic...
Zoos?
If I wanted to see a depressed 200lb
animal trapped in a confined space,
I will look down at myself
in the bath.
I think, based on the reverie
he seemed to slip into when he was
talking about Chester zoo,
that he has some sort
of life changing sexual
experience at Chester zoo.
Oh, it's a good zoo!
Didn't he lose confidence in
the middle that Chester had a zoo?
He thinks the people have
to stay in the zoos.
They have to feed the animals!
Feed the animals...
They could put them all
in one enclosure and let
nature take its course.
Open them all and let
Chester take its course.
All these speeches that I've seen
during this pandemic, yeah,
is they all look like a shit teacher
at school who's trying
to keep a class under control.
They just need to send a year 11 in.
When they start rambling
on too much, just hit
them with the dickhead,
shut up now, that's enough.
Too much.
Weren't you a teacher, Guz?
I was, yeah.
What do you think of them
are locking the schools up?
As a teacher, I know
the chaos that is impending
when you are letting...
It's going to be a zoo in itself
when you're letting all these kids
back into school after,
what has it been, six,
seven, eight months?
How long has it been?
It's been forever, Guz.
Yeah, there is going to be several
shanking incidents that take place.
Everything they've been
doing on the streets,
you're going to try to confine them,
you're going to put
them back in prison.
It's like all these kids have been
on day release for eight months
and now you're putting them back
in prison, it's not
going to work out.
How have you found home-schooling?
I'm not very good at it.
How many hours a day do you think
is a reasonable amount of time
to home-school each child for?
I'm not an expert but
when we were teaching,
if it was a difficult class,
if they did 20 minutes of work
in an hour lesson, that was great.
So I think there is a lot
of parents putting pressure
on themselves to be,
like, you have to start at eight
o'clock and finish at 3:30pm.
No, if your little Dickie can do one
hour a day, you're done.
That's what I wanted
to hear, thank you.
Not everyone saw the
pandemic as a crisis.
Some saw it as an opportunity.
Faced with the frustration
of social distancing,
the unquenchable British spirit
of ingenuity and engineering
excellence rose to the challenge.
You're going to put your arms
through the bottom one.
Yeah?
Your arms go through
the bottom one, OK?
My arms go through the top one.
How amazing is it?
Then you bring it back through,
and then it's ready
for the next person.
I just really like that
she coughed at the end.
And that is how you smother an old
person to death and leave no DNA.
Just wrap them up in
a hug, it's perfect.
She was really excited in that clip.
She does a sort of a little wiggle.
He's created a platonic
glory hole for him.
For her.
That's a better name,
the platonic glory hole.
Get one for your Nan.
There was a big thing, wasn't there,
over lockdown, where people went,
"What I really miss most
is being able to get
a hug from my dad".
And the West of Scotland
was, like, what?
Which bit didn't they understand?
The dad or the hug?
Talk us through it.
Father Christmas is the one
who gave me coronavirus.
I know it sounds like a child
telling a lie but I was in Finland,
in Lapland, and we met
Father Christmas that day, and,
then, we had to be evacuated to come
back home because Finland
was kicking everyone out.
And when I landed in the UK,
I had coronavirus.
Oh, shit, so, what did you feel?
Well, it was awful.
I didn't have it as bad
as some people had it.
I had it for about five
weeks, it was very bad.
I had Corona.
I got it at a gig, obviously.
It was really grim
for a couple of weeks.
But what I didn't know was
the downside, two months later...
Coronavirus has a downside?
It's not all fun!
I mean, it was great at first...
After a couple of months, my lung
capacity still hadn't come back.
Mine still hasn't.
I went for a run today
and had to stop.
It feels like you can't
breathe to the bottom.
That side of it is
horrible, isn't it?
That's what I'm saying, bro,
this broad range of potential
symptoms is so broad.
If your oxygen rate falls below 93,
you might have to be hospitalised.
What does the O2 even
mean, if your oxygen...?
If your oxygen saturation
is at 99, you're bang on,
you're having a laugh.
But...
Is that out of something, 99?
Is it a percentage?
I guess it's 100, it's not
going to be 99 out of 102.
That's why you don't
guess about medicine.
That would mean the other 1%
of your blood wasn't oxygen.
You can phone 999 or my guess line.
Which service do you require?
I just want someone
to take a punt, really.
Under the stress of lockdown,
enquiring minds turned to the wilder
corners of the internet
to try to understand the pandemic.
Many start to believe
in conspiracy themed nonsense,
such as the idea that the 5G mobile
phone signal was responsible,
an idea that the celebrated polymath
Eamon Holmes refused to rule out
during an unusually tense episode
of daytime favourite This Morning.
There's been some 30 acts of
vandalism and arson around the UK.
Damaging a central telephone
equipment, which is just worrying.
Because of some rumour
that is circulating.
It's not true, and it's
incredibly stupid.
I totally agree with everything
you are saying, but what I don't
accept is mainstream media
immediately slapping
that down as not true
when they don't know it's not true.
No one should attack or damage or do
anything like that but it is very
easy to say that it's not true
because it suits
the state narrative.
That's all I would say as someone
with an enquiring mind.
You don't have an enquiring mind,
you are presenting This Morning,
the next item is on jeggings.
I think what he means by having
an enquiring mind is,
I'm incredibly suggestible.
I think, did you see
how guilty Ruth looked?
I think it's them.
I think that's why
he had to cover it up.
I think they've been breaking masks.
He is getaway driver.
Very easy to fall down a rabbit hole
in the right WhatsApp group.
You can be really sensible
but with the right amount
of information coming your way,
it's all mad, like...
One guy on a WhatsApp group
said if you stand too
close to a 5G tower,
and this was verbatim his sentence,
you turn to a lesbian.
What, you just, sort of...
I think he meant into,
but he actually said turn
to a lesbian, and I was,
like, man, just outside
a 5G like that.
Even if you're a fellow?
He said, yeah, that's
what they're saying.
What if you start as a lesbian?
Maybe you're just a lesbian
who can do a handstand,
but most of them can anyway,
I reckon.
That's a very sweeping statement!
I'll take a guess at it.
What an appalling generalisation!
I honestly think that's
something that people
couldn't get offended at.
They can't really start a campaign,
we can't all do handstands.
There is no hate involved.
Excuse me, BBC, I actually have very
weak upper arms, and I love women,
so please don't generalise about me.
I'm going to stand
by that one, I reckon,
they can all do handstands.
There's a lot of
anti-mask stuff now.
It seems to be getting
really out of hand.
They've gone into full on, like,
conspiracy stuff, now.
There was a huge
rally at the weekend.
I think it's just human nature,
if you tell people to do something
because they say so,
I think it is in some
people's nature to go, why?
What's in it for you?
What are they up to?
I mean, the only thing bit that
gets me about masks is the bit,
like, there's a bit sometimes
when you start sitting down,
and you've got it hanging over one
ear, and I caught a sight of myself
just in a reflection doing that one
time and it was a bit
like an old guy who'd wandered
into a strip bar and had
knickers thrown at his head.
Where you in a strip bar?
Yeah.
My thanks to Guz!
Safe.
Thank you, gang.
See you.
Next up...
The US election will decide
who rules the burning embers
of America from a morphine drip
in a concrete silo.
Finally, America will have a real
choice this election
between narcissistic personality
disorder and Alzheimer's.
I'm waiting for Trump's full
breakdown when he comes out
in the Rose garden with six M&Ms
glued to his knuckles claiming he's
got the infinity stones.
Donald Trump, tartrazine
personified, likes to refer
to the China virus.
You almost have to admire
the dedication it takes to be
racist about a pandemic,
which is not that far away from
being transphobic about earthquakes.
Joining us to discuss the US
election, please welcome
comedian Sara Barron.
Hi, guys.
Good to see you again.
Good to see you again.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming.
It's heating up,
the American election.
Getting very hot.
It's feeling very
similar to Obama 08.
Very hope and change.
We've not had the first debates yet,
which are going to be interesting,
but the polls are quite
good for Biden.
I'm worried, watching Biden, though,
because you don't normally
see someone that old.
I mean, he is older
than Bill Clinton is now!
The only time you normally see
someone that old is when you're
trying to persuade them
to stop driving.
How old is he?
He is 77, he'll be
78 by inauguration.
OK.
But also, it is a, sort of,
there are people to help you,
do you know what I mean?
Yeah, like Weekend At Bernie's.
People will move his arms and legs.
He'll be fine!
It's just going to be a campaign
about who seems the least senile.
I sort of wonder if,
like, the most powerful
I sort of wonder if, like,
the most powerful person
in the world might be the carer
of whoever wins.
Back in 2015, when Trump
announced his intention
to stand as president,
he wanted to show America
that he was much more
than simply a preening shit,
he was a preening shit
with a deep Christian faith.
Here's an early glimpse of candidate
Trump fielding tricky spiritual
questions in this noisy interview.
You mentioned the Bible.
You've been talking about how
it's your favourite book,
and you said, I think last night
in Iowa, some people
are surprised that you say that.
I'm wondering what one
or two of your most
favourite Bible verses are?
I wouldn't want to get into it
because to me that's very personal.
You know, when I talk
about the Bible it's very personal,
so I don't really want to get
into verses, I don't want...
There is no verse...
No, I...
There's no verse that
means a lot to you, that
you think about or cite.
The Bible means a lot
to me but I don't
want to get into specifics.
Even to cite a verse that you like?
No, I don't want to do that.
I really don't.
Are you an old Testament guy,
or a new Testament guy?
Probably...
Equal.
I think it's just an incredible...
The whole Bible is an incredible...
I joke very much so,
they always hold up
The Art Of The Deal,
I say, my second favourite
book of all time.
But, I just think the Bible is just
something very special.
He answers the question
like they've asked him
what he searches for on Pornhub.
It's very personal.
I don't want to get into it.
I like both equally.
I just, I don't know,
the thing about it being personal,
like, the Bible is the most read
book in the world,
it's like a template
for the whole of humanity,
he is, like, oh, no,
it's my personal little Bible.
It's my little private booky book.
My little secret.
As if he's revealing too much,
he is, like, well, I wouldn't
normally tell people,
but I do like the bit
with the fishes.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not...
May be likes a bad thing.
It's not a window to his soul.
Try to imagine an evangelical
Christian, so someone
who is concerned about moral
depravity, and Christian values
under attack, and they see...
How do they possibly see
Donald Trump and go, that guy!
Here is our guy!
I think they are just
incredibly practical.
I think they go, this guy
doesn't believe in God,
but he'll do what we say.
There was a bit in lockdown
where Trump posed with the Bible,
but apparently held it upside down.
It was like a Bigfoot holding
an iPad or something.
To run against Trump,
the Democrats turned to a safe
pair of translucent,
quivering hands, Joe Biden.
But when they discovered that,
sadly, Joe Biden passed away in 2018
they chose his ghost instead.
Despite it being a wraith
on temporary loan from
the underworld, Joe Biden
is still able to connect with
the public on the important topics.
Here he is confidently delivering
advice down the lens on how best
to protect yourself at home.
Do you believe that banning certain
weapons and high-capacity magazines
will mean that law-abiding citizens
will then become more of a target
to criminals as we will have no way
to sufficiently protect ourselves?
First of all, the idea that...
Repeat the last part
of the question.
So, she is asking if a ban goes into
effect on certain kinds of weapons
and high-capacity magazines.
What's her name?
Kate.
Kate, if you want to protect
yourself get a double barrel
shotgun, have the shells of a 12
gauge shot gun, and I promise you,
as I told my wife, I said, Jill,
if there's ever a problem just walk
out on the balcony here, walk out,
put that double barrel shotgun
and fire two blasts outside
the house, I promise you,
whoever is coming in is not going...
You don't need an AR-15.
It's harder to aim, it's harder
to use, and in fact,
you don't need 30 rounds
to protect yourself.
Buy a shot gun.
Buy a shotgun.
How many policemen has he killed?
How many postmen has he killed?
He's really rooting
for the hillbillies and rocking
chairs demographic with that,
I thought.
He is trying to, like,
he is trying to court the vote
of someone who has
basically just been like...
Why can't I have a machine
gun in my house?
I want it in my house!
And he can't say, like,
because you're not a drug lord
fighting off a rival cartel.
You can't say that.
So you wind up with this lunacy
that is verbal diarrhoea, instead.
I don't know if that's necessarily
true because what I got
from that was, like,
because you can't use it, Mary.
You need a simple gun for ladies.
It's only got two bullets in it!
How wrong can it go?
There is two bullets.
He managed to be both
condescending and mental.
He was, like, taking her in hand,
like, little lady, buy a shot gun
and then he whispers it again,
buy a shotgun.
It doesn't look very
fun, does it, though?
Politics.
No.
Maybe you need to have
lost your faculties to want to be
able to do the job.
The only other person who wanted
to do it was, like, Kanye.
Being in charge of anything
is really annoying.
If you're in charge of taking,
for instance, five children
to a trampoline park,
that's really exhausting.
Just get Kanye to do it.
There are some serious
obstacles in the way
of Joe Biden becoming president.
Like any step higher
than about two inches.
The one good thing about Joe Biden
losing in November, it'll mean
he is still alive in November.
Also, let's face it,
four more years of Trump will mean
a glorious crescendo of wild
egotistical ramblings like this bit
of live brainstorming on how
best to beat Covid-19.
Supposing we hit the body
with a tremendous, whether it's
ultraviolet, or just very powerful
light, and I think you said that
has not been checked
but you're going to test it.
And then I said suppose you brought
the light inside the body,
which you can do, either
through the skin, or in some other
way, and I think you said
you were going to test that, too.
Sounds interesting.
Right, and then I see
the disinfectant where it knocks
it out in one minute,
and is there a way we can do
something like that by injection
inside or almost a cleaning,
because it gets into the lungs...
If he doesn't get re-elected
you have to get him online.
I like that doctor,
she was trying to work out
if she was having a stress dream.
Is this real?
If I don't move,
maybe it's not real.
It's like they were
playing an improv game.
He was, like, and I think you're
going to test that, as well,
you're going to do a little song
in a minute, aren't you,
about the disinfectant?
I know, I felt the next one
was going to be, has anyone
tried pissing on it?
I hear that works
with jellyfish stings?
I was very unsurprised to see that
Donald Trump can't tell
when a woman's body language
is telling him to stop.
He thinks he might be right.
That's the thing.
He thinks he is part of the team.
He's, like, we could try this.
I think also they are standing
in the green room or something
waiting to go on, and he's just
bubbling rubbish and she's
going, yeah, yeah.
And he's, like, we'll drink bleach.
Take a UV light up your arse.
Sure, yeah, we'll look into it.
You know?
I can just imagine him in the green
room with a laser pen going,
Corona, Corona, Corona.
Both parties have one thing
in common, they're putting forward
candidates whose mental capacity
is regularly called into question.
Here is Trump boasting
about his razor-sharp cognitive
skills in a carefully arranged,
socially distanced interview.
I said to the doctor,
it was Doctor Ronnie Jackson,
I said is there some kind of a test?
An acuity test.
He said there actually
is and he named it,
whatever it might be,
and it was 30, or 35 questions.
Like a memory question it's...
Like you will go person,
woman, man, camera...TV.
So it's, like, can you repeat that?
So, I said, yeah, so it's person,
woman, man, camera, TV.
OK, that's very good.
If you get it in order
you get extra points.
He said, nobody gets it in order,
it's actually not that easy,
but for me it was easy.
Go back to that question,
they don't tell you this,
go back to that question,
and repeat them, can you do it?
And you go, person,
woman, man, camera, TV.
They say, that's amazing,
how did you do that?
He is at the limit of how weird
a person can be and not die.
Obama didn't come out and remind us
that he could remember nouns.
What's so worrying about
that is, it's not even...
So...
It's not even that the president had
to take a dementia test...
It is, but he's presenting it
like it's an intelligence test.
He thinks passing it is this
incredible achievement, like,
even he is surprised
that he is not more insane.
He failed it.
He couldn't remember
the name of the memory test.
I know!
Surely that's the test.
That's the thing!
Well, that's the end of the show.
Thanks to my guests Sara Pascoe,
Miles Jupp, Sophie Duker,
Sara Barron, and Guz Khan.
But before I go, I'd like to leave
you with this thought.
When this year's Chelsea Flower Show
was cancelled because of
Covid-19 I was devastated.
Not only on behalf of all
the thousands of talented exhibitors
who'd had their hopes
of gardening glory dashed,
but because I realised
there'd be no repeat of the greatest
sexual encounter I've ever enjoyed,
which was after hours at last year's
festival in the bonsai tent
with a well-known horticulturalist
whose name I will not divulge,
as I do not want to cause any undue
embarrassment to his wife,
Alison Titchmarsh.
My orgasm, when it
finally arrived...
..was so intense that I shot
backwards like a rocket from a milk
bottle and found myself impaled
on a miniature horse chestnut.
My scrotum caught on
the branches hanging
there like a farmer's warning.
What I suppose I'm trying to say
is that we've all struggled at times
during this lockdown.
But nobody has struggled quite
as much as Boris Johnson.
One thing I will say
for this confused sex yeti,
as this nation stands
on a precipice, there is no one
better equipped to take us forward.
Let's not forget that in about seven
years' time the entirety
of the Coronavirus crisis will have
been distilled down to a couple
of cheeky one-liners that Johnson
deploys on the after-dinner circuit.
I see a couple of empty
seats at your table,
were they for your grandparents?
Sorry about that.
We know that Johnson failed
to attend the first five meetings
held on Covid-19 by the Government's
emergency response team Cobra,
consider how difficult
it is when you join in on a box set
six episodes in.
Boris missed the first five and then
joined in on the sixth and hoped
no one would notice.
Much as he did with his children.
I suspect that...
I think a government that has
already had a cash for favours
scandal with a Prime Minister
who has ennobled his own brother
is likely to descend into a swamp
of corruption and nepotism,
which is, after all,
just incest for cowards.
Now with his fluffy lockdown hair
increasingly it looks
like you could blow on his head
to find out the time in Cuntland.
LAUGHTER
Still, if we can just
get through Covid-19
we can get to Brexit,
we can get to Brexit!
And post Brexit Boris can finally,
truly emulate his hero,
Winston Churchill, by starving
millions of people to death.
Good night.
# At the whispering stream,
at the bubbling brook
# The fishes leap up to take a look
# For they are breathless over you
# Still your hands
# And still your heart
# For still your face
comes shining through
# And all the morning glows
anew Still your mind
