Good to see you,
old boy.
- Yes.
- How was Kenya?
I love Kenya.
Absolutely adore the place.
You know,
it's so important
to protect them,
you know...
Indeed.
The few untouched
tribes left.
- Indeed.
- Yes.
And while we're
on the subject,
I've got something
of a confession to make.
Oh, dear.
While I was down there,
I caught the attention
of a young Masai woman.
You didn't.
She took me
for an exotic,
sophisticated superman
of sorts
and developed something
of a liking to me.
Well, isn't that
always the way?
Yes, it is.
And it's quite awful,
Gerald.
She came down to my hut
wearing nothing
but a fertility headdress
and carrying
a husband stick,
and, oh, I had to participate
in the customs.
Well, it would be
morally irresponsible
if you did not participate
in the custom.
You could destroy
their entire social structure.
Oh, I felt so terrible
about it.
Of course
you did, Gerald.
- I felt terrible seven times.
- Oh, dreadful.
But, you know, Gerald,
I, too, have a confession.
Do tell.
Remember several years ago
when I went to the Amazon?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Well, I accidentally packed
a lighter in my satchel.
Oh, my.
Yes, well, one day,
I absent-mindedly lit the flint,
and the entire village
took me for a god.
- Oh, no.
- Yes.
Every sundown,
as I was being fellated
by all the young women
of the village,
which is the local custom,
I felt completely embarrassed
by the entire affair.
I can only imagine
in some vivid detail,
but you can't deny
the local custom.
You absolutely cannot deny
the local customs.
(both)
You can't deny
the local customs.
One thing you must do
is adhere to the local customs.
[muttering]
You must adhere
to the local customs.
[both muttering]
[muttering]
You must adhere
to the local customs.
Local customs
must not be denied!
It's, oh, the least
one can do.
It all reminds me of the time
I was in Papua New Guinea
and I introduced the local tribe
to the French term
 ménage à trois.
After that evening,
a couple of the local men
called me "Papua."
Oh, dear.
Whoops-a-daisy!
[imitates explosion]
Whoops-a-daisy,
indeed.
It's getting harder and harder
to protect the local tribes
from the influence
of the outside civilizations.
I know exactly what you mean,
old boy, exactly,
and I must confess
that the last time
I was deep in the bush
in Australia...
Yes?
I ended up deep in bush
in Australia.
Boo-yah.
Well, where are you
off to now, old boy?
I'm off to Tanzania.
Tanzania--make sure
that you go during an eclipse,
because then everyone
will want to have sex with you.
(both)
Mm.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
(both)
Regrettably.
[both muttering, humming]
