

### Human Relationships:

### The World's Definition Of Love

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller) &

### Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

### Sessions 1-3

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2015 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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### This ebook is a transcript of three seminars delivered on 21st May 2011 in Melbourne, Australia, on 10th September 2011 in Murgon, Australia and on 24th September 2011 in Brisbane, Australia by AJ Miller (who claims to be Jesus) and Mary Luck (who claims to be Mary Magdalene) as part of the Human Relationships series. In these seminars Jesus and Mary discuss the differences between the world's definition of love and God's definition of love, such as; love is never painful, love is never demanding, and love is not justice, love is logical, love never abuses, love results in change, love never compromises and love never lies. In these talks Jesus also describes the process of how to come to learn God's definition of love in our souls by releasing fear and other emotional errors.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

### Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

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Table of Contents

### The World's Definition of Love: Session 1

1. Introduction

2. Love is never painful

2.1. An example of feeling pain when a partner is unfaithful

2.2. Many relationships that feel like love are due to addictions being met

2.3. An illustration of AJ not meeting Mary's addictions when they first met

2.3.1. Feeling unworldly and unattractive

2.3.2. Feeling unsafe

2.4. Experimenting with the notion that love is never painful

3. Love is never demanding

3.1. An example of a gathering of some of the fourteen at the Apostle John's house

4. Love never sacrifices

5. Love is not justice

5.1. An illustration of an "eye for an eye"

5.2. The beauty of loving those who are unloving to us

5.3. An example of wanting to boycott products from Israel

5.4. The beauty of loving those who are unloving to us (continued)

6. Examples of love in different scenarios

6.1. An example of feeling pain in a relationship with a mother

6.2. An example of paying extra for luggage on an airline flight

6.3. An example of paying for meals in restaurants

6.4. An example of people believing that love sacrifices

6.5. An example of tithing

7. Closing Words

7.1. Answering questions through prayer

### The World's Definition of Love: Session 2, Part 1

8. Introduction

9. The cause and effect of loving behaviour

9.1. Trying to become more loving through the intellect is fighting our own nature

9.2. An example of attracting controlling older men

9.2.1. Speaking the truth takes us closer to the cause

9.3. Dealing with the cause automatically changes the effect

9.4. An example of a woman who is unsure how to behave and express herself

9.5. Being in truth about our feelings

10. Working through terror to become more loving

10.1. Terror of parental violence

10.2. Living in terror vs. feeling terror

10.2.1. Terror is the cause of many Law of Attraction events

10.3. Choosing to feel terror prevents us acting out in rage

10.3.1. Spirits influence us out of our terror

10.3.2. We are able to release any emotion that has entered us

10.3.3. Beliefs that prevent us from feeling fear and terror

10.4. Working through blockages to feeling terror

10.4.1. Feeling the addiction

10.5. Bodily responses to avoiding and feeling fear and terror

10.6. Contrary to the worldview, it's unloving to take people out of their emotions

11. Dealing with the full extent of terror and trauma in our souls

11.1. Faith and courage help us to fully feel the trauma and terror within us

12. Love is much more powerful than fear, terror and anger

12.1. An example of spirits who control the Chinese government

12.2. God views love as the greatest and most powerful emotion

12.2.1. Releasing terror is necessary to learn that love rules

12.3. Love creates change

12.4. Love is not vulnerable

12.5. Love brings everything to us

12.6. Love is childlike and spontaneous

13. Summary of Session 2, Part 1

### The World's Definition of Love: Session 2, Part 2

14. The world's vs. God's definition of love

14.1. Love is never painful

14.2. Love is never demanding

14.3. Love is never sacrifice

14.4. Love is not justice

15. Coming to accept God's view of love

15.1. An illustration of loving somebody who does not love us back

16. Discerning between addictions and love

16.1. Happiness can be derived from love or from addictions being met

16.2. Discerning Divine Love from feelings from spirits

16.2.1. God's Love is not selective and will never feed addictions

16.2.2. God's Love causes us to grow in love

16.2.3. Discerning addictions vs. love

16.2.4. Reasons for feeling afraid of confusing God's Love with feelings from spirits

16.3. An example of a lady discerning love from addictions in a relationship

16.3.1. Being truthful and open

16.3.2. Truth binds relationships together

16.3.3. "Perfect" relationships when we're not at-one with God are addictive

16.3.4. Truthful relationships that include God brings people closer

17. Differences in learning God's view of love for reincarnated people vs. people in their first incarnation

17.1. Learning through the heart rather than intellectually

17.2. Earth changes do not affect progression on the Divine Love Path

18. Using Natural Love Path techniques to identify soul feelings

19. Receiving God's Love

19.1. Information in the Padgett messages about receiving God's Love

19.2. Soul attributes required to receive God's Love

19.3. An example of a man being driven to ask questions by a spirit

19.4. Developing God's definition of soul attributes

19.5. Developing God's way of learning through the soul

19.6. Developing a desire to truly see ourselves

20. Closing Words

20.1. Growing in love attracts others to the Divine Love Path

20.2. Difficulties in connecting in a relationship with fear

### The World's Definition of Love: Session 3, Part 1

21. Introduction

22. The world mistakenly believes that it knows love

23. Fear-based and love-based beliefs

23.1. Fear within our souls allows fear-based beliefs to enter us

23.2. An example of having fear of authority

23.3. We project our fear-based beliefs onto other events in our lives

23.4. An example of AJ previously believing that God is a God of wrath

23.5. Releasing fear-based beliefs is necessary for the world to become loving

24. Love is logical

24.1. An example of turning the other cheek

24.2. An example of being self responsible

24.3. An example of retaliating for a child's death

24.4. Emotionally distancing ourselves from unloving acts in society

25. Love is not justice

26. Love is logical (continued)

26.1. Our view of logic can be distorted by fear-based beliefs

26.1.1. An example of how we arrange our kitchens

27. There is no fear in real love

27.1. The world erroneously believes that love placates fear

27.2. God's definition of love needs to enter our heart to change us

28. Love is logical (continued)

28.1. Logic and truth are strongly connected

28.2. Logic and economy are strongly connected

28.3. An illustration of logic and love in relationships

28.4. Truth, justice and judgement

28.4.1. An example of AJ wearing glasses

29. Love never abuses

29.1. Love of ourselves does not allow abuse

29.2. False beliefs that abuse is acceptable enter us as children

29.3. An illustration of different terms used for physical abuse of children and adults

30. Love always results in change or growth

31. Fear originates from the fear of our own emotions

31.1. An example of terrorism and violence

31.2. An example of immigration

32. Fear is not real from God's perspective

32.1. An example of the fear of violence and death

32.2. An example of drug use

32.2.1. Altering our body with drugs prevents us from absorbing truth and love

32.3. Differences between urgency based on fear and urgency based on love

32.3.1. An example of children dying of malnutrition

33. Love is never jealous

33.1. An example of discovering our partner is unfaithful to us

### The World's Definition of Love: Session 3, Part 2

34. Love is never compromise

34.1. Emotionally compromising is not being truthful about how we really feel

34.2. Our internal and external dialogue are identical when we no longer compromise

34.3. Relationships can never be close when we compromise our true feelings, desires and passions

34.4. Negotiation is all about compromise

34.4.1. An example of border control

34.4.2. An example of refugees

34.4.3. Love automatically wants to repair unloving problems

34.4.4. An example of food production

34.4.5. An example of weapon manufacture

34.4.6. An example of the economy

34.4.7. An example of refugees and border control (continued)

34.4.8. An example of fences

35. Love never lies

36. Receiving God's definition of love into our souls

36.1. Receiving God's Love opens our soul up to love-based beliefs entering

36.2. Discovering true spirituality

37. The power of love

38. Closing Words

Appendix: Seminar Outline

The World's Definition of Love: Session 1

1. Introduction

Let's talk about how the world views love. How does that song go? (AJ sings) "What the world needs now is love sweet love." Ah, what a corny song to start the session on.

Firstly the world thinks that it knows what love is. Most people in the world feel, or think I should say, that they know what love is. Very few people are really honest with themselves about it, but if you listen to the average mother and she will certainly tell you she knows what love is. She's had children, so she knows what love is (Laughter).

The world also thinks it knows what love feels like. Is that not true? (AJ sings) "Love hurts..." and so forth. We think we know what love feels like. The world also thinks it knows what love does. If you see someone crying, love will always comfort.

Mary: "Don't cry, don't cry." "I love you, I love you."

Yeah, "You don't need to cry." That's what the world does with love, one of the things.

So when you think about all of that, if a person comes along on the Earth and says, "I'm sorry, what you think love is, is not what it is and what you think love feels like, actually that's not love either," and if that same person says, "You know how you do these things thinking you're doing them because you love? You're not doing them because you love; you're doing them for another reason." Isn't that going to be quite confronting? And that's the issue we face on the Earth today; is that the world already has belief systems about love that are fully in place, and have been established for many thousands of years actually.

Mary: And people defend them ferociously as you've already experienced.

This is an interesting oxymoron, the defence of love ferociously.

Mary: I feel that people decide they know what love does, what it looks like, what it feels like because they don't want to face that maybe what they felt in their childhood wasn't love, and so they hold onto that. It's about the avoidance of our own pain in the end, so they hold onto that and go, "No that is love and that's what I'm going to have with everyone else and anyone who challenges that is actually challenging what I felt in my childhood, which I'd really like to feel is love because if it wasn't love, then it's going to hurt."

And also if anyone is challenging it, then they're automatically unloving.

Mary: According to the definition.

So one of the first things we need to see about love is there is a direct relationship between what we were taught love was from our own childhood and what we believe love to be. We need to understand that direct relationship that whatever we were taught love to be in our environment as we were a child, we often grow up and actually believe love to be, even though it may not be love.

There are literally people on the planet who believe an abusive relationship is love. That's why they're in an abusive relationship. Many of you have heard of the battered wife syndrome where the woman is allowing herself to be beaten by her partner but at the same time her partner tells her that he loves her and she believes that. Why does that happen? Well something has to have happened in her childhood for her to accept that untruth.

So what we want to do is start confronting these ideas within ourselves, through investigation. My suggestion is, as an investigation in your own life, is to start looking at "what the world believes love is" and then ask yourself, if I were really open minded in my investigation of love, would I believe love is that or not? And the same goes with "what love feels like" and "what love does".

2. Love is never painful

Now if love is the most powerful force in the universe and if we have this viewpoint that love is always painless, so let me present that as an idea that love is never painful. I put that to you as an idea that love is never painful, and this is a very important idea to experiment with. [00:07:02.13]

Mary: And how much does that mess up everything that we've thought is love is in the past?

I quite often hear from people, "Ah but that's what happens when you're in love isn't it? Sometimes it's quite painful, sometimes it hurts." No, it never hurts. Love never hurts. Real love never hurts, it's never painful. Now as a concept in itself, it's a very powerful concept to consider because that means that every time I've had pain in a relationship of any kind, then love wasn't its cause. It means that something else was its cause other than love, if this is true.

And this is where we can have an open scientific investigative nature. We can consider as a potential possibility that love is never painful and if we go down that track, every time that I feel pain from love, I do not understand what love is. Can you see the relationship? If I believe that love is never painful, then every time I have pain, it mustn't be love anymore it must be something else.

Now if love is never painful, then how much of what the world's view of love feels like goes out the window? Most of the songs, such as the Roy Orbison song "Love hurts", "Sacrifice for Love". There are plenty of them aren't there? (AJ sings) "I will do anything for love." Would love do anything for love? Would love lie? Well that song says yes, that love would lie for somebody. There's another Brian Adams song that goes, "I would lie for you, I'd die for you..." That's what we view love to be, and Brian Adams has made millions of dollars from those records, which means that many of the people who listen to the songs believe that that is true; that's what I would do for love.

Mary: About a year or so ago my brother launched a fairly vicious attack upon AJ and myself on the Internet and I spoke to my dad about it and he said, "Well there's love in what he's doing there Mary." And I even went to talks and people went, "Yeah, it's pretty nasty what you're brother's saying but I can tell he loves you."

Like how is a person swearing about your partner loving you?

Mary: Attacking your way of life, loving you?

How does that work? You see we go, "Ah but love is motivating that". I'm sorry I can't agree, love doesn't motivate that behaviour. It's another emotion. It's an addiction of some kind and some other emotion motivating that kind of behaviour. It's never love because love would never even contemplate doing that. [00:10:28.20]

Mary: But on the Earth it's fairly common that we go, "Ah no that's love. You do that when you love someone in the family. You'll do anything to help them," and people excuse a lot of very negative behaviour calling it love. That's how rife the acceptance on the planet is; that it's okay you can be angry and loving, you can be abusive and loving.

Now obviously the man who's beating his wife is taking that to an extreme because he believes he loves his wife and he says often to her, "But I really love you," but he's beating her for goodness sake! That's taking this concept that I can do anything for love to the extreme. Why would he beat her? Because basically he's jealous and jealousy obviously isn't love. Maybe he's trying to control her. Is control love? No, it's not love, and yet we accept on this Earth today, we accept so many beliefs that the world has about love without question.

So my suggestion is to experiment with this concept in your day-to-day life. Experiment with the concept that love is never painful and every time I feel some pain then I don't understand love in that particular moment, just experiment with that. Now when I started experimenting with that myself in this life it was amazing how many things I realised I was doing where I did not conceive love correctly.

2.1. An example of feeling pain when a partner is unfaithful

For example I was living in a relationship shortly before I had this realisation about love, and the lady in the relationship cheated on me on a number of occasions; she had sex with another person. Now I had huge amounts of painful feelings about that and yet once I had this realisation I was going, "Wow, why then did I have all these painful feelings about her cheating on me?" And in fact when you even think of the words "cheating on me", you start to see what your belief system is actually with regard to love.

You see love is never painful, so if I really loved her, even her having sex with somebody else would not actually cause me to feel pain. I might not be with her anymore because of my choice to only have a monogamous relationship with one person, which is my desire, but I would not be in terrible pain about it. The fact that I was in terrible pain about it meant that it wasn't love for her that I was feeling.

Participant: What was it?

Well there must be some kind of addiction, so let's start with the fact that it's an addiction of some kind. It was an addiction to prevent some other emotions that I was having. What emotions would you have if your partner cheated on you? Fear that no one loves you. Feelings of betrayal, rejection, unworthiness because I would feel I'm not good enough for them to want me, and they want someone else. Humiliation. What about sexually? Can you see it's a sexual rejection isn't it? So how does that make you feel when you're sexually rejected? Unattractive.

Mary: Inadequate.

Sexually inadequate.

From listing a few of the other emotions, do any of these emotions seem like love to you? These emotions are the sources of my pain [00:15:31.00]

Mary: And isn't it true that these emotions exist already within me and I actually want this woman to "love" me in quotations, in order to prevent or avoid all these emotions.

So when she had this infidelity to our relationship I go into all of these emotions of feeling humiliation, unattractive, inadequate, unworthy, I feel rejection, not so much a betrayal me for some reason, but there was just a long list of these other emotions. Every single one of these emotions was already within me as a pain before I even entered the relationship; ironically of course that would make sense. And because I did not want to feel those emotions, I wanted her to "love" me, in other words be faithful to me, so that I don't have to feel those emotions.

Now once I'd felt all of those emotions, I felt love for the woman again but I didn't want to be with her anymore. However I felt love for her again and I also realised that actually, if I were in a relationship with somebody else, that they could actually cheat on me and I would not feel any of those things. I wouldn't feel all of those things anymore and because, for the first time in my life, I would actually be loving because love is never painful; it's never going to result in a painful experience. [00:17:14.17]

2.2. Many relationships that feel like love are due to addictions being met

Mary: And also it never places an expectation or a demand on another person, or a desire that this person take away something from me or gives me something so that I avoid a hole in me.

So what I realised in that moment was that pain was not caused by love it was caused by all of these other feelings I had about myself that I was unwilling to feel about myself and I wanted somebody else to make them all go away. That's what I realised.

Mary: And for most of us the greatest "love" affairs of our life are when somebody takes away like a massive amount of our core emotions for us; they help us avoid our massive injuries.

What Mary means is that if they satisfy our addictions to not feel those emotions, then we feel that was a fantastic relationship.

Mary: And for some of us it just has to be one or two really core emotions that are big within us. So if a person comes along and prevents us feeling those feelings, for example in one of my relationships two key emotions I wanted to avoid are being unworldly.

In other words feeling that other people in the world didn't think you were cool.

Mary: I'm not cool, I don't know stuff, I'm unworldly, and physically unattractive. That's it. This guy came along and made me feel very worldly and very physically attractive and it was the biggest love affair of my life.

Not this guy (laughter) - another one.

Mary: Yes another one (laughs). But I thought now I know what love is. "I've finally fallen in love. This is amazing I want to spend the rest of my life with this person," all of these things. And eventually the relationship broke down. He ended the relationship, I was heartbroken and two or three years later I looked back and I go, "Wow, yeah I didn't find that attractive about him, I don't find this attractive, actually I don't like that at all about him." But I was so blinded by the fact that I no longer felt these two big emotions for me that I thought it was magical love. And it's scary to me actually where I might have ended up in my life, had he felt I had been fulfilling some massive addiction for him, because we would have ended up in a marriage probably that was based only on these two things for me. It was like a fix, having for the first time in my life not feeling unworldly or unattractive.

Can you see how powerful it is? Just an addiction can cause us to fall in love with a person and once we have that addiction met over and over and over again we think this is a wonderful relationship; it feels wonderful to us. We've got the addiction met over and over and over again. And yet in reality it's just a person who's willing to satisfy our addictions.

Mary: And in a way how can we have a true connection because if say that man was AJ, and he was helping me avoid these two emotions, he's actually helping me avoid a core part of myself. And so in this relationship I'm asking, "Please keep giving me that so I don't have to feel bad," I'm completely in suppression of who I am still, and perhaps I'm doing that for you in the relationship as well. [00:20:49.22]

And even more importantly you're never going to grow towards God because of course God requires you to be real and if you're not being real and you've got those two emotions, then you're further away from God than if you're real about it.

2.3. An illustration of AJ not meeting Mary's addictions when they first met

Mary: And it's very beautiful to now be in a relationship where I can feel these things, unworldly and unattractive, and feel in connection with someone, and feel loved in that process. But initially I didn't feel loved. I thought this other thing was love and it felt very confronting to actually feel those emotions even in the presence of AJ because I thought well if you can see this about me, you can't love me.

2.3.1. Feeling unworldly and unattractive

So when Mary and I first met with this emotion of unworldly, and Mary was meeting a guy who was saying he's Jesus, that's not cool right? (Laughter) Trust me it's definitely not cool, Mary knows this. It's definitely not cool, so I'm not cool and what I'm saying is not cool.

Mary: Well what you're saying is pretty cool.

Well yeah I'm not cool though. And because I'm not cool then anybody who looks at us together will automatically feel that Mary's not cool. And so for Mary this emotion came up time and time again, didn't it darling? And ironically Mary also had many false beliefs about me because of that emotion. So at that time she would think that I'd do one thing and I'd go, "Why do you think that? I don't feel like doing that at all."

And there were lots of criticisms about what I would or would not do based on morals as well, in terms of what I felt were morally correct, and my morals weren't worldly either. My set of belief systems is, with regard to morals, very much connected to one person in terms of not sharing any sexual energy with anybody else, and that's not a cool thing nowadays. The cool thing is to flirt a bit, that's usually what people think is cool, and so that's also unworldly. But even just the statement that I'm Jesus is like not very cool that had a big effect on Mary. [00:23:12.06]

So can you see how just one of these emotions no longer getting met instantly triggers our beliefs about love? Straight away we start thinking, "That's not love." And so when Mary was feeling like I wasn't making her feel worldly, then she automatically felt I wasn't loving her.

2.3.2. Feeling unsafe

Mary: And also, safe; he should make me feel safe. If a man loves me he makes me feel safe, that was a huge one as well.

So quite often we'd be together and a group of people would come around and we'd talk together. Now that group of people would ask questions about our life in the first century, and instantly Mary felt unsafe. As soon as she felt unsafe, there was a series of things Mary used to do.

Mary: I just try and detune from the situation, I'd try and distract, make a cup of tea, all of these things to try and get away from what's happening...

And if none of these things worked.

Mary: And eventually I'd get angry. I'd just go, "I don't want to talk about this, they're not really interested"; that was the feeling coming from me, and it was triggering all of the terror that I'm actually now experiencing with the big media drama. But my expectation on AJ, I would always get angry at him because my expectation was that he made me safe, if he loved me he would do that.

And I'd be going, "But I'm just answering the question!" But the feeling is that I'm not making Mary safe so therefore I'm the unloving person because if my belief is that the man will make me safe and that's what love does, straight away I'm going to start getting that confronted. [00:24:56.25]

Mary: And I've had some very beautiful realisations since about how beautiful love really is. Love actually desires that I am truly myself. So if I feel unsafe, love would desire that I experience that, that I would allow that and just be myself. And AJ giving me the gift of actually being open to me feeling unsafe, being open to me feeling all of these things whereas a lot of other people are not open to you, are not loving, they are not open to you feeling how you really feel, and what a gift that actually is. But it took a long time to break down this idea of what love really does.

2.4. Experimenting with the notion that love is never painful

So I want to harp back onto this because it's a really important concept that's worth experimenting with in your life as much as you possibly can on a day-to-day basis. You see almost every relationship we have has a degree of pain in it generally. For many of you there are degrees of pain in your relationship with your parents that you don't want to face. There are degrees of pain in relationship with your children that you don't want to face. There are degrees of pain in your relationship with your partners that you don't want to face. And what I'm suggesting to you is that if you can come to face them, those pains, you will discover what love really is because when you get to the point where it's no longer painful, now you've discovered love because that's the point where this belief that love is never painful comes true, and the belief that love is painful disappears.

And my suggestion is if you experiment with that as much as possible in your life, in your day-to-day interactions. If you do that, you'll find you'll confront every relationship very rapidly where you'll start seeing what's going on between the two of you in the relationship. And it doesn't have to be just the sexual relationship that you have, but rather every relationship that you have. The relationship you have with the people at work, your friends, your family, your children, your parents, every single person; there is generally some pain associated with the relationship and if you can work through what that pain is, you'll discover more about love because love is never painful. So you're obviously going to let go of things that create your pain. [00:27:35.29]

Participant: I've actually being experiencing this today and my question is that I've just realised that what I thought was love isn't love. And when I separated the two I'm not feeling pain, I'm feeling really empty like a blob of nothing. And if I don't attach to that feeling of significance then there's no pain there; it's just empty and I don't even know who I would be without that false belief.

Yes and this is what's very confronting about this belief that love is painful. The beauty of that belief is that it helps you maintain facades with each other, with your relationships and everything else. It keeps you in a state of addiction and then when you begin to drop it you become so afraid because most of us don't really know what love is. (AJ sings) "I want to know what love is." (Laughter) And then we go, (AJ sings) "But I want you to show me." (Laughter) We want somebody else to do the work about it. And that's how it is with a lot of our life; we feel that we want somebody else to show us what love is, which brings me to the next thing that we can confront.

3. Love is never demanding

The next thing that we confront is love is never demanding. That's an interesting one to experiment with because it's amazing how many times demand creates anger in us, have you noticed that? When you have a demand upon a person, when that demand is not met, most people instantly feel angry.

3.1. An example of a gathering of some of the fourteen at the Apostle John's house

I remember having a discussion with my friend John, who is the actual Apostle John, before be passed. When I discussed these things with him, I talked to him about his anger. He had invited a group of the fourteen, there were seven or eight of us together and it's the only time there have been seven or eight of us together actually, to his house to spend some time together for a month or so. So he invited us there and I said, "Are you sure John? Because you know what it's like when people come to your house." He had this beautiful botanical garden that he'd set up pretty much from scratch and he'd done a lot of work on that and he likes everything pristine and nice and neat and so forth in his house. And I said, "You know what it's like, we're going to have extra people there and it's going to be quite confronting for them emotionally. Do you really want to bite that off in your own house?" And he goes, "Yes, yes I definitely want to do that."

So about two days in to everyone being there, he walks into the kitchen and he finds Luke, one of the others of the fourteen, laying on the kitchen floor crying and he steps over him and goes, "I wish you would do that somewhere else." (Laughter) And he was really, really upset about it. "I can't even walk into my own kitchen without somebody being upset on the floor and taking my space." [00:31:25.18]

And you can see as soon as there's the demand that somebody does something, then straight away we are instantly in an unloving place, do you follow me? And I was saying to John but now that right at that moment that you stepped over Luke and said, "go and do this somewhere bloody else" as soon as he did that, he was actually now in a place where he was demanding Luke do something different from what he was doing.

Mary: And could you say even before that he had an expectation.

Demands always begin with expectations actually. So therefore we could also say love is never expecting or having expectations. So whenever I have an expectation of you to treat me a certain way, I am automatically unloving.

Now that's a very, very different concept to what people think on the Earth isn't it? We go, "Oh I married the man. I signed a piece of paper, we are married. He has to never cheat on me." That's an expectation. It's automatically unloving. Now I'm not saying that I would live with a person who cheats on me but having the expectation that a document that he signed proves that he should not cheat on you is actually a very unrealistic expectation. But not only that it's also unloving because love is never having expectations and is never demanding. [00:33:14.11]

4. Love never sacrifices

Participant: I just have a question slash statement. One of my best friends, a very, very close person to me and I absolutely love her dearly, but I find that it's funny because now that you bring it up, like just through history and beliefs and society of what love is supposed to be, I have sacrificed a lot of my own happiness for the sake of our relationship because I believe that that sacrifice was said to be love. And I found that in return I have a lot of anger towards her because she has caused me a lot of pain. And she also expectations; I could never understand why she always has expectations of me and she would say, "Well you know it's because I love you."

Can I correct a few things though? She has not caused any of your pain.

Participant: Yes.

It is your own belief systems that caused the pain.

Participant: Yeah and I am aware of that.

But you did bring up a very interesting thing; another thing that I wanted to mention actually about love is that love never sacrifices. Isn't that a confronting idea for the Earth? What are we taught? Mothers taught us that's what it means to be a mum; you've got to sacrifice. Everybody in fact is taught to sacrifice. And in fact, you look at my life, what's that been about according to Christianity? It's to sacrifice. [00:35:01.09]

Mary: And what did it prove? That he loved us.

It proved that I loved you or God loved you, that He gave me his only begotten son for your sacrifice. But the truth is that love never sacrifices. Why does it need to? Love is the pinnacle of your existence. It never needs to sacrifice at all. So how often do we then assume that when I'm making a sacrifice for another person that I'm being loving? It's the pain of those sacrifices that you're now feeling. The sacrifice in itself caused you to have to detune from your own passions and desires during the sacrifice and anybody who demands a sacrifice from you is being doubly unloving because firstly they are being demanding, which is not loving, but secondly they don't understand that love doesn't sacrifice.

Participant: I was just saying with it being at the stage that it's at now, with this anger that of course was caused by myself and my own actions.

Well no it's being caused by a number of things including the fact that she demanded it.

Participant: Yes. How do you deal with it now?

Well remember anger covers your addictions, which cover your fears, which cover your grief. So if you can allow yourself to get to the grief of some or your life being spent fulfilling the emotions of others and sacrificing yourself in the process. If you can feel that grief, then you'll release it from you and ironically at that time you will also forgive her for her demands. [00:36:53.29]

Participant: Okay.

Mary: This is part of the point about love never being painful. If we have pain in a relationship it's because I'm not in a state of love. So I have something to heal and very often we go yes it's painful because you're kicking me and therefore this isn't love, but we don't recognise that if I'm feeling pained or angered about it there's something that I haven't healed inside of me.

Mary: But look at the reason why you thought love equals sacrifice because there's obviously a family belief about that, and why you were willing with this one person to make a lot of sacrifices. So what did you want in return for that? Was it the love and approval of a woman? Do you feel like you never had love and approval from women? Just begin to question how did this evolve in my life. What emotions led me to think that love is sacrifice and I will sacrifice for this person?

Participant: Thank you.

5. Love is not justice

Now there's another thing I'd like to present about love. Love is not... what do you reckon I might say? Just relax for a moment (laughter) because you're all feeling under pressure now so just relax. So far you've seen that love is never painful, it's not demanding, it doesn't sacrifice. [00:38:28.07]

Participant: Not romantic (laughter).

I disagree completely (laughter); it is definitely very romantic. It's not hard? I don't know whether I'd agree with that either particularly because the hardness depends on the environment. If our environment is very unloving then to be loving is very hard but if our environment is very loving to be loving would be very easy.

Mary: How many people found it difficult to maintain a space of love when there was one, two, three, four, five media reports about AJ, and some of you personally implicated in them, to stay in a state of love with the people who presented the material?

Shall I help you? Love is not justice (AJ writing on whiteboard).

Mary: So the two things are separate from each other.

5.1. An illustration of an "eye for an eye"

Now can I illustrate this, or even prove this to you through just a little bit of logical discussion? Let's say I'm an Israeli and Mary is a Palestinian and Mary has her family and I have my family and one of my family members happens to be in the Israeli army. He's got his gun loaded with bullets and one time, because of some anger of other people, he happens to pull the trigger and one of Mary's children dies as a result of that action. Now almost every religious form on this planet says that love would demand justice. How do you even up the score with a death? Well according to the Bible the way you even it up is an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life. The Koran says much the same. So if Mary decides to take it into her hands to now, if it were an eye for an eye, she would have to kill one of my children. Now does that feel like a loving act to you?

Now that's taken to an extreme, taking a death for a death, but let's rewind it. We see it a lot in relationships. So let's say I cheat on Mary in the relationship. So in other words I have a sexual liaison outside of our relationship. Mary feels that justice is demanded. There's a high likelihood that if she feels that, of what would she perhaps do? Go out and have her own affair. [00:41:49.09]

Mary: Or just project rage at you for twenty years.

Or project rage at me for twenty years, that's justice as well. (Laughter) One of the two, that's fine. And I put to you that none of those things are loving. Now you see the problem with justice is, is that justice is what we revert to when we don't love. I'll say that again. Justice is what we revert to when we don't love because love has some other qualities.

We've talked about in the past what love is, but here we're talking about what it's not because what we're trying to do is help you see that these are belief systems that are on this planet; it's what the world thinks it knows about love, this is what the world thinks. If you take away the "never's" and the "is nots" and you replace that with love is painful; that's what the world believes. And if you replace love is never demanding with l is what the world believes, and love is just is what the world believes; and I'm saying to you that actually none of those things are love. And you can experiment with this actually in your own life to see whether these things feel loving to you.

Now this one's really easy to experiment with this love is not justice. Many of you have already experimented with it in your childhood. Your brother or sister came up and gave you a whack and what did you do in return many times? Give them a whack back and that felt good, perhaps, but was it loving? No. Well I put to you what actually happened was your brother did not love you when he belted you and then when you tried to get some justice, you didn't love him either in that process.

And the problem with this kind of thinking that love is just, as Ghandi said, it makes the whole world blind because an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Sooner or later you're going to offend somebody else; you're going to hurt somebody else. Sooner or later we all make mistakes until we're perfect, we're going to offend or hurt somebody else in the process of taking actions and then if they can't forgive and then they hurt us in return and then we escalate the violence, then of course sooner or later we're going to start losing limbs, and this is what is actually physically happening on the planet. There are people right at this moment losing their lives or limbs as a result of this thinking that love is justice. It doesn't work. We've got to give up this false belief that the world thinks it knows. [00:44:51.05]

5.2. The beauty of loving those who are unloving to us

Mary: For me this is such a beautiful thing. When I met AJ I was pretty addicted to the belief that love is justice. There's so much injustice and that proved there's no love and the fact there are unjust things happening does show there's not a lot of love on the planet. But I thought that love must equal justice.

Or that love should equalise the injustice.

Mary: Exactly, yeah. But what I've learnt is the power of what love actually does because if you think about it, God loves all of us, and we haven't always been just or good in our life. But when we receive that Love and when I have received that Love, it is an amazing softening that happens inside of me to know that you're loved when you're not perfect. And in my experience when we have groups and people are angry at us, or even in our day-to-day life when someone does something that feels very unjust to me that I haven't provoked it and suddenly I'm receiving an attack, I used to become very rigid against that and try and protect myself but now I'm practising softening and opening into that place. Sometimes it feels fearful but at the same time I feel love there; I feel an ability and a capacity to love them. And so often I'm just overwhelmed again and again by the power of loving someone who isn't in a loving space and to me this is what God is teaching us.

Mary: If AJ was in a really unloving place and instead of punishing him for that, I actually love him; it has the power to completely soften him. Many times people who aren't in loving spaces have never experienced love and so to display love to them very often opens them and it teaches them that they can be loved. I'm finding it hard to explain.

But it's like in that example that Mary gave, if I want to hurt Mary and then Mary just hugs me, which is really what a loving feeling feels like in a lot of cases, just to give a hug, how hard is it for me to continue on with my desire to hurt her? It's much more difficult. But if I want to hurt Mary and Mary goes, "Oh, you want to hurt me, I'm going to bop you in the nose first," and whacked me, how hard or easy is it for them to go and then whack her back? Much easier isn't it? Can you see? [00:47:24.29]

Mary: I'm trying so hard to explain it and I feel emotional about it as well. But it's the difference for me between self-reliance and God-reliance, or one of the differences. When I was very invested in justice, I wanted to see it done, I wanted to make sure people were loved and bad things didn't happen. But by allowing God into my life, I learned what it's like to be loved when I'm not loving. I also have more trust that God can love other people as well and they can grow just as I'm growing and I don't have to fix it. God has a much grander capacity to love and if I give up on justice I allow an opening for that.

So you also, when you gave up on justice, you were no longer self-reliant?

Mary: Yes. It's the self-reliance that makes me want justice.

5.3. An example of wanting to boycott products from Israel

So maybe if we give an example. When we first met, one of the first things that we did was we went shopping together for food, for groceries. What happened was we'd been developing a friendship over three or four months and then Mary came along to the UK as I was staying in the UK. And what I did is I got this two bedroom house where Mary had a different bedroom and we could just get to know each other a bit. So one of the first things that happened as soon as we got the place was we needed to go shopping so we went shopping. So we go shopping and a lot of fruit and vegetables in the UK come from Israel. So I'm walking through just doing my normal thing, and Mary looks at it, "This is from Israel." Now Mary has lived in Lebanon.

Mary: For two and a half to three years in a Palestinian refugee camp learning about the human rights injustices against Palestinians in Israel. First hand, mind you.

First hand, seeing the result of it, Mary's working as an Occupational Therapist in that environment with the direct results of this injustice. And there I am, it was pretty much the first day it was that we caught up with each other face to face again after three or four months just talking and discussing, and I'm putting in Israel goods in my shopping.

Mary: Now Mary in her humanitarian mode seeking justice for the world has 'Boycott Israel' stickers on all of her bags because that's my way of "lovingly" showing that I don't support the politics of that region. And so this my way of doing something that's not violent but that I'm saying that I don't want to do this, I don't want to support them.

Okay so what does Mary do about this? This is a major problem.

Mary: Yeah I do a few things her, start the demanding and expecting (laughs).

So what happened was that I'm saying to Mary, "Darling, it's not loving to boycott things."

Mary: And I'm saying, "It's not violence, I'm making a decision where my dollar goes."

So what happens now is there are people in Israel that are not going to benefit from the sale of their goods just like there are people in Palestine that haven't. Does that sound like justice to you? Well yes it does sound like justice but is it love? Not really. I'm actually creating hardship for another group of people as well as the first group of people. Now what love would try to do is actually help the first group of people without creating hardship for the second group of people. So the fact is that it's not loving. Anyway it was quite a long discussion.

Mary: Yes.

In the shopping centre...

Mary: In Tesco's.

... and Mary went around very cross for the rest of the shopping trip.

Mary: And you were challenging a core belief.

I was challenging her core belief about love in her in that moment. Just a simple act of putting a thing in the trolley challenges our belief systems about love.

Mary: But it demonstrates my self-reliance. This is how I'm going to fix this problem rather than thinking how can I love everyone in this situation? Because that's what God is doing.

5.4. The beauty of loving those who are unloving to us (continued)

So does a paedophile deserve your love? The answer is yes. Now that's pretty hard for a lot of people, isn't it? You look at what we normally do with a paedophile. What do we normally do? We ostracise them, criticise them and separate them, we like them to be in jail and we'd like to cut off their genitals as well, that's as far as many of us go in terms of a paedophile. But they actually deserve our love. They deserve so much love actually from us that they deserve being placed in some kind of programs that will actually help them find the reason why they are a paedophile and to actually work through that group of emotions. That's how much love they deserve from us. [00:52:34.15]

Mary: And you know how we often draw the first sphere and at the bottom is the hells, and the second and the third and the fourth and the fifth spheres, all the way up. Yes the hells are an unattractive, they're not a nice place to be in and they reflect the soul condition of that person who's living there, but where do most Celestial spirits spend most of their time? These are people who are at-one with God and reflecting God's Love, most of them spend most of their time in the hells. God has so much love for these people who have sinned and errored and are struggling to know what love is, but God desires that they know love so much that the majority of Celestial spirits spend most of their time in the hells trying to assist people to know what love is, to learn what it is.

6. Examples of love in different scenarios

So with this discussion today we could go a lot further with what love isn't and what love would never do. You might want to experiment with making a list for your own self as to what you believe love should do and compare that with some very radical thinking about love. And my suggestion is even if you look at those things about love; that love is never painful, demanding, sacrifices or justice, and take a note of them and then just try to experiment with that in your life in some way.

6.1. An example of feeling pain in a relationship with a mother

So experiment with the notion about pain. Okay I'm feeling pain about this relationship. My mum rang me up and she was condescending to me and I put down the phone and I go, "There she goes again, I'm feeling a bit upset, a bit angry with her for being condescending towards me, annoyed with her" thinking gee I don't want to ring her now for another couple of weeks at least until I calm down, all of those feelings. So I'm feeling some pain, so what's underneath the pain? I'm expecting my mother to not be condescending - why? Because I want her to make me feel better about myself. So what does that mean? It means that I actually feel quite bad about myself, and my mum was probably part of the cause of that because she's obviously been condescending with me all of my life. So how does that feel?

And to go through those emotions and get to the point where when mum rings up and she's condescending, you don't have a feeling of pain. You go, "Mum, you're just condescending again," but you don't feel pain because of it anymore. Can you see we can just experiment with our relationships in this way? Experiment with these theories about love if you like. These are the things the world is saying is fact, but they're saying love is painful, love is demanding and expecting, love always sacrifices, love is justice, that's what the world is saying to you constantly every day. You'll see it in the media every day; you'll see it in your day-to-day life every day with interactions between your family, your friends and everything. You'll see these concepts every day and yet logically they make no sense whatsoever. And therefore it's what the world thinks is love, but it is not love, and we need to come to terms with the fact that it's not love. What we've been taught love is, is not what love is. [00:55:55.05]

Mary: And I agree. Earlier Laura mentioned feeling almost disorientated - if that's not love what is love? I don't know what my life is about then. And I've certainly been through that process of feeling exactly that, but now I feel so passionate about what love is and my desire to be loving, it's feeling much more connected to the truth about love. And I had to go through this horrible process of like feeling angry, I felt angry every time these things were confronted in my day-to-day life because they were what made me feel safe and all these things.

6.2. An example of paying extra for luggage on an airline flight

Can I provide another really simple example in our life that I just remembered? We were over in New Zealand and we had to pay excess baggage, remember that? It was so funny that. You can go with it if you like.

Mary: Oh so many things. We were standing in line for a domestic flight in New Zealand, where we did a trip last year.

And it was delayed.

Mary: The flight was delayed, one of them had been cancelled, there were people queued up, everyone was feeling a bit overwrought and we got to the check-in. We'd flown over okay, no excess baggage and suddenly I put an extra couple of books, and we always have the Padgett Messages so it's heavy, in the bag, and they were charging fifteen dollars New Zealand for each kilo over. So because it was two kilos over it was thirty bucks or something and I was like, "Stop I'll just take the book out. I'll just find it in the bag and I'll take the book out. I'll unpack." And AJ's like, "Babe, this is really not loving." And I'm like, "That's thirty dollars you know. People have given us thirty dollars; we need to respect the gift, the value of money. That's the loving thing." He's like, "This is not loving. You're not being loving to this person behind the counter who's serving us, the people who are waiting behind us. You're not being loving to me. I'd like to go and sit down." [00:57:54.25]

Mary: But I had this huge injury as it turns out (laughs) from my family about what is loving to do with money. You know you must value every cent you have, if you don't that's like almost a sin against humanity and I was so upset, wasn't I? And I was panicked, like I don't know what's the right thing to do with money. If this is not the right thing to do with money, I don't know how to deal with money in my life anymore.

And it was interesting when Mary went into that fear because I paid the thirty dollars (laughter) and I said, "Don't worry about it babe." Now Mary then got angry with me for embarrassing her in the process, so I just said let's go and deal with that. So we sat down and it was interesting where Mary got with it emotionally because many of you have yet to go through this emotion actually with money. She got to the point where she felt that if this wasn't the way to use money, then she felt that she didn't know how to live her life even properly.

Mary: It was a terror. I was shaking.

Because her family had this very rigid view about that's the way you must use money and so it confronted so many beliefs that for the next couple of days there were emotions coming up for you about it where you had realisations after realisation about what love would do. There was about two hundred or so people in the line behind us who would have had to wait for Mary to unpack the bag and find the books and then repack and so forth. And for the lady in front of us, you imagine you've got two hundred angry customers who all have had their flights delayed or cancelled and you're the customer service officer behind the counter, imagine how much projecting already you're getting. And then you have a person in the front repacking because of thirty dollars. So you can imagine the lady behind the counter she was also pretty upset with the whole thing of course.

But the beauty is that when Mary went through it emotionally, it was amazing the emotions that came out about the beliefs about the family, beliefs about accepting the family's viewpoint of money, beliefs about money itself and what's the right use of money and so forth. It was just like heaps and heaps of beliefs had come up in that moment. And you can see how if it's loving then all of a sudden we start confronting the unloving belief systems, once you love. [01:00:31.07]

Mary: Just out of interest, who would unpack their bag?

Who would have unpacked their bag? Yeah, most people would unpack (laughter), the reality is most people.

Mary: And so when AJ explained it to me it was very logical what he's saying about love. If I really loved everyone in that circumstance, I would think of what's best for everyone not just my wallet, but I would still have respect for the money that we have.

Now let me even make it even more clear in terms of logic rather than love. You've got two hundred people in a line. How much does the average person earn in an hour? Let's say thirty dollars shall we? It would be more than that, most businesses usually say it's around fifty dollars because they've got all the on costs and the taxation all those other things involved with all their costs. But let's say the average person earns thirty dollars in a hour. There are two hundred of those people, so one hour is six thousand dollars. That's one hour of their time. Now if I use five minutes of their time that's one twelfth of six thousand dollars, which is five hundred bucks. So I've just wasted five hundred bucks of those collective people to save my own thirty dollars. I've wasted five hundred bucks to save my own thirty. Now that isn't even logical. If I loved everybody and I view money the same in anybody's pocket as my own that is not a logical thing for me to do.

Mary: But even I had more of a value on money than I did on time, on respect for the system, respect for the person who's serving us. I felt I needed to be more loving about money than I needed to be respectful of the other factors that were in play in that situation.

Now for me and Mary the situation was different because I had already gone through that emotion years before. The way I had gone through it was through lots of different business transactions and realising the value of time versus money rather than just valuing money. But not only that, I'd also gone through the phase in my life where I was earning quite a lot of money up until I said I'm Jesus and then (laughter) not much after that but that's ironically what happened. In fact in some of the transactions I did, I spent twenty hours of my time and earned two hundred thousand dollars. So that's ten thousand dollars an hour. Now I'm going, "Gee whiz I've got two hundred people behind me and they're earning ten thousand dollars an hour, we're really stuffed here if we had to pay them back." (Laughs) [01:03:20.03]

So my feelings are very much along the lines of I don't see money as just my own. I see it as just a flowing thing between people, and so I'd worked through that emotionally, so therefore I didn't have the same reaction to spending thirty dollars than what Mary had. So rather than judging the reaction, what we've got to do is look at the fact; here is a whole series of background events based on family situations and everything that cause a person to have that particular belief system that then is unloving and demonstrated towards others.

Participant: AJ I've been in a situation where I've paid the thirty dollars and then cursed myself (laughter).

Self-punished.

Participant: Exactly.

As a result, yeah. And my feeling is you've also acknowledged the fact that actually the airline themselves has certain costs associated with having extra baggage and so forth. And you're actually acknowledging a lot of loving things in the process.

6.3. An example of paying for meals in restaurants

So you know how here in Australia we don't have tipping much at all. You go over into the States and it's demanded of you, is that loving? No definitely not loving. Over in the States they'll give you a receipt that has calculated fifteen percent tip on the bottom of it so that you know what the amount is to tip even. It's pretty unloving that. But here in Australia we do the opposite, we don't tip at all generally do we? "What was that again fifteen dollars twenty five cents, no worries. There's fifteen dollars twenty five cents." Or, "Was it fourteen dollars ninety five? Where's my five cents change?" (Laughter). [01:05:09.22]

And so often when we go out, what happens if I'm really happy with the way we were served and most of the time I'm really happy with the way we're served actually because just the whole idea of sitting down and having a meal that somebody else serves you is a fantastic idea, and so I'm usually pretty grateful for that. But often, because we eat vegan, we often ask for modifications to the meals and everything and some people are just so great about it. And I just feel like giving them a big hug and, "Here's an extra twenty bucks."

And so what happens is that I often tip people and I find it quite remarkable sometimes when we go out with others because everyone goes, "Are we all going to pay for this individually or what?" Whereas as Mary knows with me, if you come out with me, basically you get a meal for free, that's how it goes. And so I'm going, this is so interesting, I think I'll just sit back and watch what happens here. And they all walk up individually to the checkout, to the operator and say what was on my meal? And they list all the things on their meal and the person has to add it all up. Now this is really hard for the person behind the counter don't you think? If you had to do that, and then you're left with three coffees outstanding, nobody owned up to taking their coffee (laughter). So that's why many of them now have a sign on their counter saying "no split bills" because they have often been short changed by giving the service of splitting up the bill. My feelings are just, "How much was it? Thirty dollars? Here's fifty, there you go, see you later. It was a great meal, thank you." That's how I feel about it.

Now if you feel because of that that you shouldn't donate as much money (laughter) that's fine by me. My feelings are that money is an opportunity to demonstrate love to others actually, that's my feeling, and so it's an opportunity. Many of us still need money to live unfortunately that's the way the world is working at the moment and being able to give a gift just because you enjoyed something. So if somebody enjoys something or they provide something for me that I really enjoy, that's really wonderful. Usually, there are extras coming their way from me. [01:07:42.05]

Mary: It's great eating with AJ. You know we stay at people's houses a lot and a lot of people sit down and...

Well they first ask who's saying the prayer?

Mary: They wait for the prayer and the blessing on the food and then I've still got the thing where I want everyone to be seated before I start eating. AJ sits down starts eating, and goes, "This is awesome!" (Laughter) and then if we are eating out, there is a big tip and to me that is him showing love and gratitude rather than if we all sat around and did a special blessing.

I just feel a lot of times that it's the emotion we feel from people that is its reward. Love is an emotion, and when we display love in our lives there will be an emotion coming out of us towards the person, an emotion of appreciation, affection, kindness, compassion and understanding but also this emotion of joy and optimism, and all of those emotions come out of us in that place and this is where these beliefs (that love is painful, demanding, sacrifices and just) are very, very damaging to me. The unfortunate thing about these beliefs is that they colour a person's entire experience about the world and love itself.

6.4. An example of people believing that love sacrifices

You think of Christians, for example (and I'm not picking on them in particular because there are many other religions too); how many Christians do believe that love is a sacrifice? Because they believe Jesus sacrificed so therefore love is a sacrifice and then they live their entire life sacrificing and by the end of their life many of them become so bitter about the sacrifice that's been unappreciated. They're bitter. They're so bitter that it's eaten themselves up so much that many of them have passed with cancers and all sorts of other diseases because they feel so embittered by the whole concept that love is a sacrifice.

And then they pass over into the spirit world, and this is what I find the saddest thing; because they've believed love is a sacrifice and they've become so bitter, their soul is attracted to a location in darkness in the spirit world not in brightness because they're so bitter and resentful, and that bitterness and resentfulness has now trapped them into a location in the spirit world that they didn't need to even arrive in if they had felt differently about love. [01:10:16.02]

And I feel in fact that most of the pain that is experienced in the spirit world by spirits who pass in poor condition is experienced because they've accepted, in a lot of ways, the belief systems on Earth that are about love that are totally wrong. And I find that is one of the saddest things I've personally observed in my life - watching generation upon generation upon generation of people who believe they are doing the right loving thing, passing over only to find that what they did has created so much resentment and bitterness and rage and anger within themselves that they are not in a location that's happy. And I find that's one of the saddest feelings that I feel when I think about how we learn all of these things about what the world believes love is but that's actually not love.

Mary: Yeah and for me one of the biggest truths that I've connected to in the last few years is that love is a gift. In my family there's a lot of sacrifice and expectation that is equated with being loving and I just remember realising that if I have an expectation that Igor treat me in a certain way, and that's love and that he should, I can never fully receive a gift from him because I'm already demanding it from him. If I have no expectation and he treats me in a loving way, my heart is filled with this gift and the gratitude to have received something beautiful. If I'm already projecting at him an expectation that he should, then if he gives it to me that's good and if he doesn't then I'm angry, but I never feel the gift ever in that exchange. It's a beautiful thing.

6.5. An example of tithing

So what do you feel about that discussion? Has that challenged some of the investigative nature in you to challenge some of these beliefs about love? Hopefully it has and it will allow you to sort of experiment with some of that.

Participant: Just a quick question back on the money issue. What are your beliefs on tithing?

Well it's a demand so it's unloving.

Mary: It's different if you desire to give the gift.

If you desire to give ten percent of your earnings to somebody or something then that's one thing but for that somebody or something to demand of you that you give ten percent, then that's a demand and therefore it's unloving. It's quite simple.

7. Closing Words

If you think about these points and you really start applying them in your life, you'll actually be able to very easily see what's loving, what's not loving in almost every situation you can examine and that's the beauty of understanding the truth about love is that you can start working your way through a lot of false beliefs about love. [01:13:18.02]

Mary: And for me I used to think I would be weak, if I let go of 'love is justice' then that makes me weak in the world and the reverse has actually been the case. I feel more empowered and I have more faith in love.

But it also makes you more firm. It makes you stand up for truth and love more than anything else without compromise, but without being unloving.

Mary: Without demand.

So it's just an amazing process.

Mary: When I was hooked on justice, I was full of demands and now letting go of the justice issue, I feel I'm more vocal about what's loving and what's not, what the truth is, but there's not the demand coming from me that people must see this, they must accept this.

So hopefully you've enjoyed our time together today. I've enjoyed our time together with you.

Mary: It's been an awesome trip to Victoria actually guys, awesome in a lot of ways.

7.1. Answering questions through prayer

Participant: Can I ask a question?

We know that at times you get a bit stuck in your moving forward in your relationship with God and my suggestion to you is to pray about that really sincerely. Remember a prayer is not like, "Our Father who are in heaven hallowed be thy name," it's a longing from your soul to know something, to know the answer or to feel the answer, but a longing for you to know it from a loving perspective, not from your own perspective. You see most of the time we want to see things from our own perspective and not from a loving perspective. So if you do that you'll find that you'll very rapidly receive answers if you're open to receiving them. And if you're not receiving them, then the first thing I do when I'm not receiving them is I go well I mustn't be very open to receiving it.

Mary: I don't really want to know.

So there must be something wrong here, why don't I want to know the answer to this particular question? One thing I said in the first century that's really worth remembering about God and about God's true nature is that God always responds to a loving request. There's never a time when God doesn't respond to a loving request. So if I feel like I'm not getting a response it's because there's something unloving usually involved with it that I need to look at. And if you allow yourself to feel about that you often find the answers. So rather than answering your question now, if you could try that process over the coming week or so on this question that you have that you want to ask and see what happens.

The Law of Attraction, which is the law that God has created to bring things to your soul to purify it, the Law of Attraction is a very powerful law that your soul has at your disposal at every single moment of your life. And that is the fast way; it is I feel God's messenger of Truth to you individually. Every single one of us can utilise that messenger but we of course often have struggle understanding it, that's the issue. [01:25:31.22]

So anyway we'd like to thank you so much for you time and we've enjoyed your company. We realise your time is precious. We look forward to seeing you again at some point.

Mary: Yeah hope to see you soon.

Yeah and I hope you enjoy your time experimenting with love over the coming months.

Mary: With love and desire. (Applause)

The World's Definition of Love: Session 2, Part 1

8. Introduction

When we were down in Melbourne one of the talks that we did was a talk about love, and the world's definition of love. It was part of The Human Relationships series of talks and it's called the "The World's Definition of Love Q&A". Today, in session 2, I'd like to present some more information about the world's definition of love and compare that with God's definition of love.

Now one of the things I mentioned in the introduction to that talk was that the world thinks it knows what love is. If you added up all the songs that have ever been sung, and it's only a guess because I don't know for certain, I'd say the majority of them are about love in some way, either about broken hearts or love in some other way. The world has this viewpoint that it knows exactly what love is, that everybody on the planet has an inbuilt tuner and we're all tuned in to love. Unfortunately that's not the case, but that's what we sometimes believe.

The world also thinks it knows what love does and unfortunately if that were the case, you would think there would be no wars on this planet, you would think there would be very little pain associated with love on the planet, and so forth, so the reality is quite different from what we all believe. I find it interesting that all of us as individuals believe we know what love is, but the world is in an unloving mess. Now that doesn't make much sense to me. I don't know about you but for each of us as an individual to basically say, "Well I know what love is, it's all of you that don't know," and then the next person says, "I know what love is and it's all of you that don't know," and everyone in the world is basically saying that; that we all know what love is but it's you guys that don't know, when the reality is the world is a reflection of the lack of love that obviously exists within our soul. [00:03:38.24]

We also have the world thinking that it knows what love feels like. So if you have a nice warm sensation in your heart area then it must be love. Isn't that the case? "It must be love, love, love." (AJ sings) And so we think that certain feelings are associated with love and yet the reality is if we really analyse what's going on between ourselves and another person, many times it's just that our addiction got met rather than it actually being some kind of loving transaction where no addiction gets met. So oftentimes we think we know what love feels like and oftentimes it's feeling like something just made us feel happier or made us feel more joyful and so forth, but if we get underneath it we start seeing that actually there are some addictions in play. So that's the general feeling that we often have. So that's what the world thinks.

What do you think? Many of you have been listening now for a couple of years, and you've been listening to a lot of talks, and many of the talks are about love. Now how are you going practising love in your own day-to-day life? Can you see we can intellectually receive a lot of information about something but practising love in our day-to-day life is a lot more difficult than just hearing the words and trying to put those words into action? And this is the problem we face. The problem we face is that for ourselves to be able to practice love there needs to be a change inside of the heart that causes it to occur. There needs to be something that changes inside of us in our heart that causes us to automatically be able to put love into practice, rather than having to work at it constantly. [00:06:26.24]

And I feel what's been happening for many of you, is that you have been trying to put love into practise without letting go of the underlying emotion that drives a different behaviour. So what I would like to do is just talk for a moment about this with you before we start discussing more about what the world thinks about love. And I would like to talk about the issues of cause and effect for a little while.

9. The cause and effect of loving behaviour

It's like a cycle between cause and effect.

If there is an emotional cause inside of me that causes me to be unloving towards another person in a certain situation, then dealing with the effect of that is only going to be a temporary response because the cause still remains within myself. So while I am here sitting here in our auditorium feeling a certain emotion towards you, that emotion now generates my speech, it generates my thoughts and it generates my actions. Now as it's doing that I can choose to intellectually look at my thoughts, look at my speech and look at my actions and choose to change them in that moment from an intellectual perspective.

9.1. Trying to become more loving through the intellect is fighting our own nature

Many of you are doing this in your day-to-day life because you have a feeling inside of you of, "I want to be more loving," and I try then to put the principles of love that I think I've learned, but I've actually only got an intellectual database of inside of my brain, so I try to then put this intellectual knowledge into day-to-day practice.

And as I try to put the knowledge into day-to-day practice I find that certain events come up, because of course my soul will attract these events, and as the events come up I intellectually say, "Ah here's an area where I need to be careful because last time I did this, last time I did that and that wasn't very loving. So this time what I'm going to do is something different to that. I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that." So you go off and you try to do those things that you've intellectually decided you'll do, but the problem is unless the unloving causal emotion, the actual reason why you would normally take a certain action is released from within you, unfortunately you're going to be fighting your own nature.

And many of you are finding this, and when you are trying to fight your own nature and trying to change the effect through an intellectual decision, do you know what path you're on? It's called the Natural Love Path. Now many of us are still on the Natural Love Path because we don't yet understand in our heart, and some of us yet to even understand here in our head, that unless we deal with the emotional cause of unloving behaviour the effect is always going to be an unloving action, word or speech unless my intellect kicks in and tells me not to do that and I try to do something different.

And that's where many of us are at, because we're yet to be prepared to address the emotion or the belief. Remember all beliefs are emotional, they have some way of entering us as an emotion, and we're somehow not addressing the belief or the emotion that is inside of our heart that causes us to take that action.

Now perhaps if I give a few examples of this.

9.2. An example of attracting controlling older men

Let's say the effect is every time I get with an older man I always seem to attract him telling me what to do. When I get with an older woman she doesn't do that, but whenever I speak with an older man, he always does it, without fail, and then inside of me, because he's telling me what to do, there's this feeling that comes up of, "He's telling me what to do again," and all of a sudden we start feeling like, "I don't like him very much he always tells me what to do." So now there's the lack of love starting to boil up inside of our soul, inside of our feelings. [00:12:03.12]

Now when we use our mind, what we do is this, we go, "Yeah, I can't tell him that though, I can't tell him that he's trying to control me, because then he might be angry with me and I don't want him to be angry with me." Or, "What if I'm wrong, what if I tell him he's trying to control me and he says, 'no, I'm not trying to control you', what do I do then? Then I'll look like I've got egg on my face and it will be very uncomfortable emotionally, if we feel a bit ashamed of ourselves".

So I want to avoid my shame. So I'm starting to avoid emotions; I'm avoiding shame, the potential for being ashamed or being shamed or humiliated, I'm avoiding the potential for the other person's anger or rage being projected at me and so now see how already my mind has already begun this process of changing my own natural behaviour, which would be harmonious with truth or love, into avoiding some of my own personal emotions.

So what do I say to him? I go, "Oh yeah, no worries, Oh yeah, I get that, no worries." And all the while I'm thinking inside, "Gee I'm sick of listening to this guy, he's always telling me what to do." I've got a completely different message going on inside of me to outside of me. Outside of me he's just hearing the words, "Yes, yes." And I'm checking my watch, and there is this feeling inside of me that I just want to get away from this person, I don't want to be with him anymore. But outside I go, "Yes, no worries. Oh, my wife's just come; I've just got to go and speak with her."

Now what have I done? I have decided to be completely untruthful with that person, and of course every time I'm untruthful I'm also being unloving. I've decided to be untruthful by not portraying to them exactly what I am feeling. The reality is, if I was being truthful, I'd just say, "Can you just stop for a moment, the feeling I have inside of me is annoyance and I feel annoyed because it feels like you're telling me what to do again and I'm tired of listening to that now." That would be more reflective of what's really inside of me, but because I'm afraid of potential shame or humiliation or potential anger from him or another emotion, and I'm afraid of how I'm going to cope with that, so I don't address the cause, and instead I focus on dealing with the effect. I've got this man approaching me and he's telling me what to do and my way of handling it is to listen, say yes, and then try to get away from him as soon as possible, which is actually me being completely false. [00:15:32.00]

Participant: I think that the man trying to control you is still not a cause. There's a reason why the man's trying to control you.

No, what I'm saying is there's an emotional cause inside of your soul that opens you to the potential control of another male.

Participant: So even saying you're annoyed, I mean it's moving towards the cause but it's not really addressing the full cause is it?

I agree totally but how can we move towards the cause while we're even denying the truth? We can't.

Participant: Yeah, I'm just wondering because I've seen a lot of people make accusations that are so filtered by their own wounds.

I agree totally yeah and that is not addressing the cause either, that's just dealing with other emotional effects isn't it?

Mary: I feel it's a very good point that has just been made by someone because I feel that we must first own our annoyance as in this is my feeling right now, because otherwise it's very easy to get into blaming and this speaking truth that is not actually speaking it. If I say you're just controlling me, I'm very far away from truth because the truth is my feeling is that I feel controlled. [00:17:12.28]

However I am a step towards truth...

Mary: That's what I was going to say.

...than from total denial.

Mary: Exactly, but I have to go to that place before I discover God's Truth about the situation because it may be in the end that you are controlling me, but while I'm having an emotional response, the first truth I need to consider is, "what is my feeling?"

Yeah you see this is what I want to say to the group; we need to stop all of this intellectual stuff and just feel and correctly reflect the feeling. So the initial feeling is he's being controlling, that's the initial feeling I have. Now I'm nowhere near the truth of what's causing me to feel that at this point, it's just a feeling that I have inside of me; he's being controlling.

9.2.1. Speaking the truth takes us closer to the cause

Now if I allowed myself to feel that, but even better if I say that and feel that without blaming the other person, without attacking them, I am closer to the truth. You see this is where most of us go wrong. We initially go, "You're being controlling," and now we're attacking them and we're actually now projecting rage at them, which is actually worse than controlling, in terms of the scale of unloving behaviour; rage is much lower in the condition of love than being controlling. So the reality is that we're now not only saying what we feel is the truth but we're now actually giving them a dose back, which is actually unloving behaviour. [00:18:45.19]

But if we felt like he's being controlling and we just stopped and stated, "I feel controlled. I feel in this discussion I'm feeling controlled." I am at least one step further along the chain of truth and therefore one step closer to my true emotional condition than I am by not saying the words.

Now I can feel controlled but he might not be controlling me because of something deeper inside of myself that I need to discover. But at least if I say the words, "I feel controlled in this situation and the reality is I also feel like running away from you and the reality is I don't feel like having this conversation," rather than thinking them without saying them, we would be one step closer to discovering the truth about the emotion than we would have been before then.

But you see what most of us do is we feel the feeling but we don't actually say anything, so from that point on we're cut off from the process of discovering the cause. And if the cause remains within my heart without ever being discovered it's now impossible for me to ever really change without trying. I have to try again to change rather than change being a natural process. [00:20:43.07]

9.3. Dealing with the cause automatically changes the effect

So if we're finding, in terms of becoming more loving, that we have to try to be more loving, then what I'm suggesting to you is that you're in the wrong process. The correct process would be to remove the cause of why we're not more loving and as soon as we remove the cause, the action will automatically change. It's cause and effect; the action is going to automatically change and when the action automatically changes I won't have to try anymore because it's a natural thing for me now to be more loving in that interaction. I don't have to try hard to be more loving, it just comes naturally from my own actions and from my own words and from my own thoughts even.

And in fact I don't even have to notice my thoughts anymore, I don't have to notice and intellectualise my feelings anymore and I don't have to actually watch what I say anymore because everything coming out of my mouth and every action I'm taking is in harmony with the new condition, and the new condition is loving, and so therefore every word that comes out of my mouth will be loving and every action I take will be loving. How much does that simplify your life?

9.4. An example of a woman who is unsure how to behave and express herself

Participant: I could get really emotional even trying to talk about this because when I've been listening to you for two and a half plus years now and I worked out most of this for myself. I've come to situations again and again and I don't know how to talk to somebody because by the time I understand that, I'm already really upset and so I already know that I'm projecting, my brain turns to marshmallow, I can't remember what to say and I don't know how to hold the space, hold myself as an independent entity and have a conversation that remains loving. That happens with Raj again and again and I know that I'm already upset, I'm already projecting and I'm lost in the emotion.

Well what you're describing is a big emotion, called fear, and obviously we need to feel our fears.

So you're finding yourself unable to speak, thinking, "I can't speak to you anymore because I have this feeling inside of me." When I first met Mary I was like that and I couldn't speak. Anything that came out of my mouth seemed to make no sense whatsoever and so I thought it was better to shut up. But you can still feel the fear of it inside of you and still access the emotion. So the reality is you don't have to even say the words if you're already in the emotion, but you certainly do need to say the words if you're thinking something and you're thinking of taking an action that is completely different to what you're actually feeling.

So what I am saying to you is stay in the truth verbally and intellectually and emotionally of what you're feeling. Stay in the truth of that. If you stay in the truth of that you will then be able to see how out of harmony you are and that's great because if you can see how out of harmony you are, you can then address it emotionally by feeling the emotion that's underneath it. So I feel if you're feeling the fear that's fine, feel that fear. [00:24:14.07]

Participant: Well, sometimes it's a whole spectrum of emotions. Sometimes I mean immediately after fear is usually anger.

Ah, but remember fear is not after anger. Anger suppresses fear. So if I'm feeling fear and then I revert to anger, now I am definitely denying the truth of what's going on inside of me. Anger is not after fear; anger is the suppression of fear, or the suppression of the addiction that keeps the fear under control.

Participant: I understand you intellectually. I just can't work out how to do it in practice. And I seem to have a capacity to project. It's like many miles an hour and everybody's upset and then I haven't got a clue what the hell to do.

Yep I agree, however what I'm suggesting to you is to learn to just speak the truth of how you feel at any one moment. Reverting to anger is always telling you that you're covering over an addiction and it has to be a pretty big addiction if you're always going back to the same behaviour. So pray about the addiction, that's all you need to do.

9.5. Being in truth about our feelings

I feel a lot of us are intellectualising this process far too much. To me it's pretty basic. You tell the truth of everything you think at every moment if you're able to, in terms of the situation enables you to. I'm not saying if the people enable you to, I mean if the situation does. So if you see something happening five hundred metres over there and you're having a feeling, it's going to be pretty hard to say the truth to the person over there five hundred metres away; the physical situation disallows it. However you can certainly say the truth to the person next door, "Wow I just saw that thing over there and yeah, he's a bastard, that's how I feel." [00:26:28.00]

Now that's covering over a deeper emotion. But if I go, "Ah did you see that happening over there? I wonder why he did that, I wonder what's going on for him. I wonder what kind of things are going through his mind?' And all the time inside of me I'm going, "He's a bastard." Now I'm way away from truth. We need to learn to be in the truth of what we're feeling to get anywhere. We need to see it as it really is.

Participant: I found myself doing this with the other people that I work with, and I'm feeling how much I'm just hooking into them and I'm just realising how actually unloving I am by doing that. It's like I'm bitching all the time. Justin and I have started to be more honest about things and more honest about our judgements towards other people. I don't know really where I was going with that but I felt like your example there was an example of what's going on for me in my life like at work.

I feel many in the audience are doing this on a daily basis, trying to intellectualise themselves through a process that the heart hasn't changed through yet. When you try to do that you're not actually being even honest about what is really in your heart. To really change you need to have a very good look at the mirror of the emotions.

So many of you check yourself out in the mirror every day, don't you? Or you try not to nowadays? (Laughter) So what you do is you check yourself out in the mirror and usually it's for correction isn't it? You go, "There's a big cocky crest sitting up there, I'd better wet that one down." You check things out so that at least you know you look relatively presentable. And we don't do this in the same manner with our soul, what we do is we have these things running through our emotional state like things where, "I don't like her, I don't like him. "He's alright because he gave me something." We have all these things going on inside of us but we're not really honest about what's driving every one of them, and this is where when we can learn to say what we feel. Then we're at least being a step closer to the state of true honesty and therefore a step closer to love. [00:29:36.24]

Participant: Something I have noticed though is I'm taking that next step of being more honest but then realising how much I really don't actually want to change.

Yes. And we need to be honest about that too. So admitting, "I don't want to be more loving, I just want to be angry, I just want to be upset," allowing yourself to feel that you just want to be whatever it is that you're in, is a much more honest place than maintaining a façade, but feeling all of that anyway. It's a much more honest place, but it's not a much more loving place, it's only a slightly more loving place obviously.

Participant: I find I'm very sensitive now and my own feelings get mixed up with what's coming at me, what I'm sending out and I hit a pocket of pain. Is the pain the same as the causal?

Not always, Jen, but you're heading in the right direction, if you're allowing yourself to feel your own pain rather than push that pain onto others, but it might not be the causal. You see the reality is the world's beliefs or definition about love have rubbed off on us, so therefore a lot of our beliefs of what love would do are actually false. We often believe love will do a certain thing and then we feel pain of that not happening, when the reality is our belief was false in the first place.

So just because we feel pain it doesn't mean all of a sudden that we're going to find a causal emotion but we are at least closer to finding the cause of what's going on within us. If we're projecting our pain by harming, or trying to harm, or trying to shut down, or trying to control, or trying to be more angry with someone around us, now we are nowhere near the cause, we're not even at the point of feeling our own pain let alone understanding what its cause is. You could say the effect is the pain that we feel and the cause is usually deeper than that. [00:32:28.23]

10. Working through terror to become more loving

Participant: So I find when I reach the pain I freeze up. So I'm kind of oscillating between terrified and overwhelmed but I hit the pocket of pain and I seem to kind of go around in a circle and then I shut it all down.

And I feel many are doing that. What's happening is they hit their fear and they don't want to bodily experience their fear or their terror. Many of you are in this place where you hit your terror or your fear but you don't want to actually feel that emotion, because it's one of the worst emotions you could actually feel. In fact if you can learn how to feel your terror there is little other emotion that you're going to have trouble with. But it's your terror that is the most difficult emotion for you to experience. So if you can learn to feel your terror without getting out of it, you'll have accomplished a great deal in your work towards being more loving. [00:33:47.23]

You see every time we normally get terrified what we do is we shut down the feeling of terror within us and then as a result we are now in a rage or angry place, shutting down the terror, and we want everyone around us to do the same for us as what I've just done for myself. We want other people to stop triggering our terror. So many of us finish up projecting at our husbands or our wives, "How dare you do that, you shouldn't have done that," and really underneath of that we're just terrified of something, but we don't want to admit that and we don't, more importantly, want to feel it. So what we do is we get out of that terror, because terror feels very weak for the majority of us. In fact one of the most vulnerable places we could ever go emotionally is terror.

And in fact society has a lot of judgements about terror too by the way. You know you look at the average Vietnam veteran who comes back from Vietnam and is in a state of post traumatic stress and yet society doesn't allow him to go through that post traumatic stress as an emotion. So instead society gives him some medication, and usually he himself finishes up drinking or whatever just to stay away from the terror that he felt by going to war in that environment.

Now people view terror as weak. The physical expression of terror is something that most people feel very, very afraid of even being around let alone experiencing it themselves. So as a result of that they have a lot of judgements of terror and then of course where do you go? If you can't feel your terror what are you going to do? You're just going to get angry. You're going to get into a state where anger becomes a dominant emotion.

10.1. Terror of parental violence

So we need to allow the terror to be felt, not to intellectualise it. Many of us still try the intellectual process of, "I can see the reason why I got angry was because I was really afraid because that person reminded me of my mother who used to come along with a big stick and belt me." Now that's a lovely intellectual analysis of what might be the underlying emotional reason why you got angry. However it just did nothing for you, because it never got you into feeling the terror that you felt when your mother came with a stick to smack you. It never got you to that feeling and many of us have these feelings. The reality is within society and particularly within most Christian societies, which ours was more so twenty to fifty years ago than now, and in many religious societies parental violence towards children is an acceptable way of discipline. [00:36:53.10]

So you know I remember with my own sons sometimes I'd get a stick or a strap and if they did the wrong thing, I'd give them a whack and that was their punishment. The justification of it was, the Bible says "if you spare the rod you spoil the child." So I've got to do this even though I might not want to, many times because of the feeling.

Now how does a little child feel about that? I've got an adult with an angry look on their face with a weapon beating them, many times not just smacking them once but beating them in their rage. Isn't the result of that going to be this emotion, terror? So if that's the case, if this terror is the emotion that the child now has, what can the child now do with that? Now when we're an adult we can see that pretty much all of us who have had that kind of an upbringing, are at some point going to have to deal with terror. We're going to have to physically feel the emotion of terror and we're not going to get to the darker emotions like grieving emotions within us without experiencing and getting through our terrors at some point.

So we need to embrace the feeling of terror and allow ourselves to bodily feel that feeling when it comes up. So if we have an event that our soul attracts which, through the Law of Attraction, triggers this terror, we are better off going into the terror and experiencing the terror than we are coming into some kind of intellectual analysis of what just happened. Because as soon as we go into the intellectual analysis of what happened, we are now avoiding the terror through the intellect, which is never going to heal the terror: the terror is going to remain within us and therefore the terror will become a cause of many events in our lives, one after the other. Once the terror is gone as a cause, now it cannot generate any effects. I don't have to try now to avoid situations that might terrify me because the reality is no situation terrifies me anymore.

But as soon as I'm presented with that through a situation that triggers terror, I then go into a state where I de-tune from the situation, skip out of my body, step away from the situation, try to intellectualise myself over the situation, try to avoid the situation, I do hundreds of different things just to avoid the feeling of terror.

Now one of the world's definitions of love is that love helps you not feel emotions like that. There's this belief in the world, where if you were in an emotion of terror I would never say, "Go for it." I'd hold you, calm you down, make you feel safe, make you feel secure, make you feel like you'd never have to feel that emotion again. But there's a problem with that and that is if I don't feel the emotion, the emotion remains within me and so I am going to feel that emotion again, guaranteed, and this is the problem with that kind of belief system. [00:40:45.27]

10.2. Living in terror vs. feeling terror

Participant: Terror is a really big one for me and I do experience emotions or sensations in my body. Where I feel I'm getting confused is, Mary's referred to living in the terror rather than dealing with it so are there some distinctions there that can be made?

Sure. Living in the terror means that the terror now defines your actions.

So in other words, let's say somebody said, "Neena it's time for you to learn how to be in front of an audience. So what we're going to do is get you to come up here right now and talk for five minutes on a subject." And Neena's terror level just sky rocketed. So what happens now? Now Neena in that state can choose to avoid that feeling of terror and what would she do? [00:41:48.05]

Participant: Not get up and talk.

Exactly. So you are now living in the terror. In other words the terror has defined your next course of actions; that's when you're living in the terror. Or you could choose to get up and stand here dumb for five minutes because you can't open your mouth because you're so terrified and feel that emotion. And if the audience is accepting they'd possible accept that, depending how accepting the audience is, and that will allow you to go through that particular emotion. And if they don't then that would even increase your terror a bit more so you've got more to feel now, terror and humiliation at the same time, wonderful. (Smile)

So you can feel that too and so your terror, if you do that, is no longer defining your actions. In other words you're taking actions that are more loving even though the terror was pushing you in a different direction. Now if terror defines your actions, then you are living in your terror and you are not releasing it. The same goes with fear, the same goes with shame, and the same goes with any other emotion. If it defines your action and in particular causes you to take an action that's unloving, then obviously now you're living in it. [00:43:06.26]

Now this happens all the time for many of us. You've heard of claustrophobia, just a basic fear of confined spaces isn't it? So what does a person with claustrophobia normally do?

Participant: They avoid confined spaces.

They avoid confined spaces. Now they get to not experience the terror that is within them but you put them in a confined space and ironically God's Law of Attraction, from their own soul's injuries in operation, will actually attract an event that finishes up with them in a very confined space, like a sardine can space, and now there's all sorts of emotions that need to arise and it depends on what they do as to what will happen next. Now many of them will live in their action of terror and they'll scream, yell, do all sorts of things without actually feeling the terror itself. So the same goes with fear, the same goes with shame, it goes with all these other emotions. [00:44:15.16]

Now what Mary was referring to is that we need to stop living in it. In other words stop letting the emotion dictate the next action and instead just feel the emotion. Now many of us are not doing that either unfortunately; what we're doing is we're stopping our terror from dictating our action, but then what we do is we use this intellectual gymnastics that we have, and we do this intellectual flip over and before we know it we've got ourselves even away from the feeling of terror by using our intellect to explain away why we feel terrified, without actually feeling it. We do this quite frequently.

10.2.1. Terror is the cause of many Law of Attraction events

Now if we do that, the terror is the cause of many of our attractions. Much of our soul, if our soul is full of terror, it is attracting on a day-by-day, or often on an hour-by-hour basis, all these different events. And so it's the cause of many events, which we then try to avoid. So what happens in our life, the terror through dictating our actions creates a prison that we now live in of our own construction because we do not want to feel the emotion, and that's living in the emotion rather than experiencing it and releasing it and that's not what we're recommending to do. However that is what many of us are doing, many of us are doing that.

If we took a different tack and we chose to fully experience this terror and release all judgements that we have about it (and by the way the world has a lot of judgements about terror), if we chose to release all the judgements we have in the process, then we have the actual ability to completely erase from within our soul the feeling of terror. You imagine that. That will no longer define any action that you take. Now there is a sense of freedom that will result from that. There'll be complete freedom that results from that. [00:46:50.00]

And this is where we can try to be free but while we're carrying around terror in our soul, we can never be free. We can try to live an unashamed life but while we're carrying around shame within our soul, we will always have something that occurs that causes us to feel shame. That's the reality; it's the reality with every emotion we face.

Now the world thinks that it's loving to just deal with the effects, that is the state of the world, even in its thinking, and what I'm explaining to you is that we need to understand that unless we're willing to deal with the cause, we're not even loving ourselves, let alone loving anything else, because it's the cause that can be released from us that now can cause us to be completely loving once those things are released.

So if you can just imagine for a moment, if you had a life where terror or fear no longer motivated any of your choices or decisions, your life would be rapidly changing. Things would be happening very quickly in your life, things would be changing very rapidly. You would be attracting different events into your life as a result of living in your passions and your desires more. Things would happen so rapidly that you'd be going with your head spinning, going, "Wow life's pretty interesting. I'm not even planning my life and it's pretty interesting." That's what would be happening inside of you.

Terror creates a virtual prison in our lives

But as soon as the terror now takes the role of defining my actions, I have no chance of ever being free, I have no chance of ever getting to what is underneath terror, which is usually a lot of grief, and I've no chance of getting there. In fact there's a high likelihood I will revert to anger or rage in a situation as well, because I'm trying to shut down the cause of the anger or the rage, which is always the terror and the fear. [00:49:18.08]

10.3. Choosing to feel terror prevents us acting out in rage

Participant: There's been a murderer in my daughter's school. The paper wrote and said this mother, who stabbed her daughter and then jumped off the bridge, was not a demon but said that she was a loving mother. It's affected me quite a lot.

So a mother stabbed her daughter to death?

Participant: Yes.

And then jumped off a bridge and suicided? And the paper said?

Participant: That she's not a demon.

That she wasn't a bad person.

Participant: Yeah, and she's a caring mother and she's a loving mother and all of these things that the world thinks what love is and all that.

Yep. And is this behaviour was different to her normal behaviour; obviously she didn't have a string of daughters to kill.

Participant: She's apparently quite highly strung as a woman.

Right, so she had a history of being emotional, shall we say?

Participant: Yes.

Okay.

Participant: It's affected me and it's sort of like a realisation, like a terror, that I've been really angry with my daughter and what does it take to do this? I've been feeling my mother's rage, my own rage at her. It's really quite dark, and it's quite murderously angry so I can't see really a difference between me and this woman.

Yep, aside from the fact that you haven't taken the action.

Participant: No and I hope I wouldn't, but if I'm the same, the terror is, and I've been to terror quite often, I keep getting to it and it just can't there but I get closer.

But the terror is "you're going to do that?" The potential was there.

Participant: Yeah.

Okay and the question is?

Participant: If I keep trying to get to this terror because it's really big in me, I haven't got there I just keep getting closer, how do I get to it?

How do you get to your terror without reverting to this kind of behaviour? Is that your question?

Participant: Yeah because even though I might not do this, I project something out all the time because I'm in this terror.

Okay can I answer your question, Laurleen? If we understand the dynamic of what's going on with terror for many of us, and this is something that's very important to understand, is that the terror as I just mentioned earlier is usually covered over by addictions to help soothe the terror and then when those addictions are not met then there's rage. If it's terror, it's always rage. If it's fear, it's always anger. Can you see the difference in scale? Terror - rage; fear - anger. [00:52:51.05]

So the reality is if I have terror there's going to be a rage in me once I deal with my addiction. So my addiction might be that my children always do, say and feel everything I tell them to. That might be my addiction and while my addiction is being met that my children do, say and feel everything I say they should, now I will have no rage. But as soon as one of my children get into this state where they fight me, oppose me or whatever, now my addiction is not being met which covers my terror and now there is only one of two directions I can go. One direction is into my rage and the other direction is into my terror.

Now what I'm going to suggest to you is that if you always choose to take the direction of your terror, you will never get into rage and so therefore you could never do what this lady has done in her rage. And by the way, yes, there probably were spirits interfering with her and causing her to stay in this rage to such a point that she's ready to murder her own daughter and some spirits would have enjoyed her doing that. But the reality is if I'm willing to feel my addictions and go into my terror, even the spirit influence can no longer occur.

10.3.1. Spirits influence us out of our terror

However, when we go in this direction of feeling our addictions and our terror, there are many spirits around us telling us some messages that are untrue. One of those messages is, "You can't feel your terror." That's one of the messages that many of you get told: "You can't feel your terror, there's no way for you to actually release terror." So some of us get to our terror but then we have all these feelings from spirits going, "No you can't do this, you're not going to get through this, it's going to be too big, God's not going to help you get through this, you're all alone with this and you're going to do some damaging things if you let yourself do this." And by the time you've felt somebody yelling in your ear all of those things you're already in a rage, because they've just heightened your terror and put yourself back into the avoidance of your terror, unfortunately. [00:55:09.07]

10.3.2. We are able to release any emotion that has entered us

You need to allow yourself to stay in the terror and stop having this feeling, and this is a feeling that we do need to address; that we are unable to release an emotion that entered us. Now logically this cannot be true. If the emotion has logically entered us, then surely it has just the same ability to exit us. Surely, it can't enter us and then never be able to be released, that does not make any logical sense. And then if we add God to the equation, which oftentimes when we're in terror we don't, but the reality is that God is in the equation if we embrace that process with God. The reality is we can feel this terror without doing anything damaging either to ourselves or to another person. So we don't even have to worry.

Now many times spirits will come to you and they'll go, "If you do this you're going to kill your daughter," or they put that thought back in your mind because of something you saw on telly or so forth, the reality is it's just spirits having a play with you. Stay in the terror until it's released. Don't live in it but stay in it, like feel the emotion in your body; don't revert back to getting the addiction met or into the rage, that's all you need to do.

The only time that somebody can induce you or help you go and murder somebody is when you are prepared to avoid your terror and therefore go into rage: that's the only time that somebody can damage you. If you're prepared to feel your emotion then you will never get to rage, that's the reality. [00:57:05.27]

Now some of us do have childhood rage but let's face it, most of our rage doesn't feel like a child, it feels like an adult in its power trip trying to do something, and that's what I'm referring to here. It's the same principle with fear and anger; in between fear and anger is an addiction that when it doesn't get met we either have a choice to go to our fear or to our anger. Most of us still choose our anger. Why? Because we don't want to feel our fear, we don't want to. So we need to choose in a different direction. [00:57:47.15]

10.3.3. Beliefs that prevent us from feeling fear and terror

Now most of the time we don't want to feel fear and terror because of our beliefs about such emotions.

Our beliefs about such emotions are very dark beliefs. We actually believe we're not going to survive them, but there's no way you can't survive an emotion. An emotion is within your soul, you're already surviving it. It's there inside of you already, you're surviving it already. Coming out of you things are going to get better not worse. It's going to get better.

10.4. Working through blockages to feeling terror

Participant: When I get to the terror, I hop out of my body, this happens quite regularly. It takes quite an effort to stay in. I just want to know how to take the next step.

Stay in your body, pray to God that you want to stay in your body and feel the terror instead.

Participant: So what's happening then is that I'm actually lying, aren't I? Because I'm not doing it, though I think I'm praying and I'm trying to stay in my body and I'm praying, that means I'm actually lying because I'm not going to the terror. [00:59:07.25]

Don't be hard on yourself, there's no need to be hard on yourself. You obviously have a very strong reason for leaving your body, so accept that.

Participant: So then just keep praying.

Yes but also discover the reason, I'm saying. The only way you're going to discover any reason for doing anything is by accepting that you do it and discovering the reason why. So allow yourself to feel like you want to get out of your body and let yourself feel why. Let yourself feel it. Why do I want to get out of my body now? Why? And there will be the reason why you keep jumping out of your body, or stepping away from yourself. Just allow yourself to feel it. The answer is in every single situation - allow yourself to feel the emotion that's present, not the one you're trying to access.

You see many of us are doing that, we're going, "Ah, I've got some grief about my mum and how she treated me." And what's above my grief? Of course I've got some fears associated with my grief. What's over my fears? My addictions are over my fears and what's above my addictions? My anger or my rage. And what's above my anger? Denial, intellectual processing, denial, depression all of those kinds of things. So that's way, way up above the other emotions, so at any one point in time all I need do is feel the emotion that's present. [01:00:56.24]

10.4.1. Feeling the addiction

So for example, if I'm angry I know that I'm not feeling the addiction. I could choose to feel the addiction instead and not be angry. So how do you feel an addiction? You sit there, and if you were a smoker, how would you feel the addiction? What would you do? You'd sit with the cigarette packet on the table in front of you, feel this feeling come up and you allow your body to do its thing. Many of you, if you were a smoker giving up smoking looking at a cigarette packet in front of you, what would you feel? Many of you have done this so you know what to feel. And you feel the emotion, let yourself feel the emotion without taking the action, let yourself feel the addiction. "Wow, I need these cigarettes so much, that it feels like my life depends upon it, that's how big this addiction is. It feels like I'm prepared to yell at my wife, kick the dog, just because I haven't had my cigarette today." That's what it feels like. Let yourself feel it without acting upon it, feel it.

Now you're feeling the addiction. You are one step closer to feeling the fear that the addiction covers now. And I'm not saying intellectualise the addiction, I'm saying feel it. There's a big difference between thinking about the addiction and talking to everybody about the addiction than there is in feeling it. If you feel it you can now feel through the addiction, you can feel the addiction and how powerful it is and how it's affecting your life and all of these other things will start coming up for you, and then in this process the underlying fear will eventually get to your consciousness. You will become conscious of the underlying fear-based reason why the cigarette is so important to you; that's what a physical addiction is. You can do exactly the same with every emotional addiction. You can feel it in exactly the same way and then you'll get down through. [01:03:07.28]

So the process is allowing yourself to understand that if I'm in anger (and this is why I've talked to you about these things in the past) then I'm choosing not to feel my addictions; that's why I'm angry. I'm choosing to not feel my addictions and if I'm in my addictions I'm choosing to not feel my fear, that's the reality. So wherever you are, if you can acknowledge where you are, you can at least feel that level of emotion that's underneath that, which you're denying. Feel it rather than thinking it. If you don't feel it, you're not addressing the cause, you're addressing the effect; you're trying, you're going into the intellect and none of that is going to work, it's just going to drive you barmy. It's going to drive you nuts doing that.

You know many spirits on the process in the spirit world going from the first dimension to the sixth dimension have to do this intellectual process of trying, because they haven't discovered this other process. They do this other intellectual process of trying and you can talk to them two hundred years later and many of them still feel like they're still very close to what they were two hundred years ago. That's how long it takes to try; because you try, you might release a little bit of emotion. You try, you might release a little bit more, try, release a little bit more and you get this gradual release of different emotions that occurs as a result of trying. But you could just embrace the emotion and feel it completely and it'd all be over, and for many of the spirits one addiction would all be over within the equivalent of a day. And yet many of them are still on with the same addiction a hundred years later because they don't want to embrace the cause, they want to deal with the effect with their mind. [01:05:14.16]

Many of us have yet to embrace the emotional cause and instead we want to deal with the effect in our mind and this is why we keep doing the same thing.

Okay so I wonder how many of us in the room are on the Divine Love Path? So maybe we should stop bragging about being on the Divine Love Path and just get on with it, don't you think?

10.5. Bodily responses to avoiding and feeling fear and terror

Participant: AJ there was a particular occasion in my life where my body experienced terror and that terror was that things were happening to me where I couldn't move my body in response to it. Do you know when you said before that the world associates terror with weakness; my body was totally weak I couldn't move. I had to physically lift up my leg with my arm or lift up my arm with my other arm to physically get out of the situation. What's happening there?

You were feeling terror. You see how much you want to get away from that feeling, it feels terrible doesn't it?

Participant: Oh, it's shocking.

Yeah, and you want to get away from it, and I'm saying stay in it. You see the response to terror generally is to freeze.

When I was young my father used to go out shooting rabbits, and what they used to do instead of shooting the rabbit, because they didn't want a mark on the rabbit when they took the rabbit to market, they'd shoot over the top of the rabbit's head and the sound barrier of the bullet passing so close to the rabbit would cause the rabbit to just go into freeze, into terror. And you could walk up and pick up the rabbit and then you'd break its neck. And that way the pelt had no marks on it and the body had no bullet hole in it. [01:07:32.09]

Now that is also the same response humans have to terror. We go into a frozen place generally or a very close to frozen place. The key is to allow its experience. But see most of us are very terrified of that place and we don't allow the experience of it. Instead what we try to do is lift up an arm, lift up a leg do something at least to make us feel like we have some control now over that place. Now we're out of the emotion, do you see?

So this is the thing with terror and fear. What are the fear responses? Fight or flight. So when we're in fear but we're not quite terrified just yet, we will either try to leave or fight. Fight is getting angry and flight is running away. How many times do we do this emotionally?

Now I'm suggesting to you those responses are not the experience of fear but rather the avoidance of the fear. They are the response. Terror, the feeling you have will be to freeze and what actually happens when you allow yourself to fully experience the terror and go right into it, your body starts sort of twitching by itself and all of these frozen places in your body start unlocking; the ones that had frozen up this fear into this frozen place, start actually coming apart and you start twitching and rolling around and wriggling and all of these kinds of things start happening inside your body as you're experiencing it. Now that looks pretty bad too, so most people don't like doing that either but we need to allow ourselves to do it. [01:09:32.08]

The frozen place is the beginning if you like of that place, opening up into this place where your body starts unlocking its frozen state. The frozen state is the frozen emotion of terror within you.

Participant: So with the situation that was occurring for me at the time that put me into that state, I've often wondered, intellectually, whether something else happened in my life previously for that to be triggered so instantly.

Highly likely. Remember God's Law of Attraction, because of the soul having terror within it and operating with God's Law of Attraction, will bring an event to actually open up to that particular feeling that's within the soul. So these events will happen, if you allow them to happen you can rapidly get into the emotion and then if you can stay in it, that's the secret to stay in the frozen state and allow yourself to feel like you can't move, and then breathe and just allow yourself to fully feel it. After you go into it your body will start twitching, moving and releasing itself. [01:10:49.24]

Participant: The problem I had there was that I had a person in my room with a knife for three months every night and so I felt I had to get out of my body out of that to protect myself. I wasn't able to really experience it.

It's interesting you attract a person in a room with a knife, and I won't ask the personal situation or event, but to be in that situation before you could feel that kind of terror: the best way to do it now is just to go into your own room by yourself and place yourself in your imagination back into that event and then allow your body to go and do its thing. Or go and get some bodywork done where the person helps you get placed back into that event and allow your body to do its thing.

10.6. Contrary to the worldview, it's unloving to take people out of their emotions

Okay, so what the point of all that was, is to say that we often view ourselves as being loving when we help a person get out of the effect of what's being done rather than helping a person get into the cause of what's going on for them. And you know in the course of a day where we have a seminar like this, Mary and I often hear many of you getting somebody else out of their stuff. You overhear a conversation, there's another person getting that person out of their stuff; there's another person getting that person out of their stuff. And it's because we have this belief about love that's so in error. This belief that it's loving to help a person get out of their painful stuff. [01:12:38.16]

Now when somebody does that with me I find it quite frustrating still. The reason why is because I've just spent months trying to get into this stuff and now you're trying to get me out of it (laughs), like you've got to be joking. So the reality for many of us is that we need to stop getting people out of stuff that they have spent weeks or months trying, their soul has been trying to access for that period of time.

11. Dealing with the full extent of terror and trauma in our souls

Now for many of us we have emotional trauma that far exceeds our current assessment of what we believe we can cope with. So you could think of it like a graph, where the zero point of emotional trauma is no emotional trauma and then on the vertical axis is the emotional trauma. Now unfortunately most of the trauma happened in our childhoods, because that's the time when we were probably most violently treated. You see it's much harder to violently treat an adult than it is to violently treat a child. This is proven by law, actually. [01:14:09.18]

For example, what I mean by that is, by law if you hit somebody who's an adult and you're an adult, what is that called? It's called assault. And in fact you can be put in jail for assault today. But when a parent gets a stick and beats a child for disobedience, what's that called? Discipline, yeah. Love, unfortunately it's also called love. So the parent beats the child, and it's not called assault at all; instead we call it love, or loving discipline.

A graph showing the level of emotional trauma suffered during assault as a child, often termed "loving discipline" by society

Now it's interesting that our definition changes when we reach adulthood. When you reach adulthood and somebody else hits you with a stick, or in fact with a stick it's usually worse because there's a weapon involved it's called assault but when it happens to a child, it's called a loving discipline. Wow, we've got a lot to learn, don't you think as a human race, about the true causes of emotional trauma?

However, this assault that happened to many of you when you were quite young, quite frequently; in fact for many of you it happened every single time you displeased your mother or father. For many of you that's what occurred, wasn't it? Of course you very rapidly learnt that if you wanted to avoid the pain on the backside or any other place where they assaulted you, you had to do what they said and then after that no assault occurred. So that was now a smooth life and after that point in time we go, "Yeah I wasn't smacked very much at all, just a few times." Yet if somebody came along and punched you in the nose just a few times, how would you feel about that now as an adult? It's interesting how our concept of something changes based on what we're told or what the world judges or defines as correct. [01:16:34.08]

Anyway we have this assault. I'm going to call it assault. By the way I have been a perpetrator of assault of my own sons, so I'm not judging any of you for performing assault on your children, or having your parents perform assault on you. However, I am saying that it is certainly not loving discipline and it's certainly a violent act that causes terror and trauma in the child. So we have that level of terror and trauma inside of us; many of us have this.

Now much of this terror and trauma also comes from a potential threat of violence, not just from violence. So imagine if you're around a person constantly, every single day, who's about to explode, you'd be on tender hooks after a while. You'd be watching there, "No, I can't do that, I can't do that," and your own actions and behaviour would change quite rapidly, if you knew the person might go into this terrible rage at some point. And so after a while you become adept at preventing their rage, through your own fear of the potential result. So we can even have terror as a result of the threat of violence not just as a result of violence itself. [01:18:05.12]

So, for example, we could have one act of violence and then just the threat of it thereafter and now we are terrified every time it's even threatened, because we've already had the painful violence in the first place and we're terrified every time thereafter. So we have that amount of terror and trauma with us (AJ indicating to the graph on whiteboard).

However, inside of us we also have, unfortunately, this belief that we can only cope with a much lesser amount of terror and trauma. We'll call that the "terror and trauma coping level".

There is a large gap between our perceived ability to cope with terror and trauma, and the actual amount of terror and trauma inside of us

Can you see straight away that it doesn't make much sense, because if I've already received that amount of terror and trauma, and it's obvious that I'm still alive, so therefore I have coped with it. So the reality is I can cope with the actual amount, not our perceived coping level. But we have beliefs that we can only cope with a small amount because the process of feeling terror and trauma is not only unattractive in terms of looking at it in somebody else, but also inside of ourselves it feels so out of control, and we love control, and so we feel we can only cope with that much.

11.1. Faith and courage help us to fully feel the trauma and terror within us

Now the problem with only being able to cope with a small amount is that we're going to need something that causes us to be able to encompass the distance between these two points; the distance between what we feel we can cope with and what we actually have coped with. We need to be able to somehow close the distance and this is where faith in God and faith in our own soul's ability that God has created our soul with this ability to be able to handle so much. These kinds of faiths are what we need. We need also the quality of courage. Courage is when you feel like you can't go any further, but you do, and we need this quality of courage inside of ourselves if we're going to face the difference between the terror and trauma that we've actually experienced, and the terror and trauma that we feel we can handle or cope with. [01:20:55.19]

Faith and courage help us bridge the gap between our perceived ability to feel terror and the amount of terror within us

12. Love is much more powerful than fear, terror and anger

Now if we can do that and have those two qualities, then this terror will no longer define our viewpoint of love anymore. At the moment for many of us it's defining our viewpoint of love still, we view love as a less powerful emotion than terror. We view love as weaker than anger and we've got it all back to front, or, in Australian colloquialism, "arse about". We've got it all back to front, and the reason why we've got it all back to front is because we have placed many emotions above love as the most powerful emotion.

From God's perspective love is the most powerful emotion and terror or fear is way down in terms of powerful emotions, and in between there are things like faith, courage and desire, which are all more powerful than fear, and yet what do we do? We say, "No, don't believe that, love is not the most powerful emotion; terror is the most powerful emotion." And underneath terror is fear and then underneath fear, in terms of powerful emotion, is anger, rage; these are the world's judgements of what are powerful emotions. They are the least powerful emotions from God's perspective and it's very interesting when you arrive in the spirit world because all of the people who have those emotions are in the darkest condition with the least amount of power, and literally millions of them have to band together to do anything. [01:23:11.08]

Love is a more powerful emotion than terror, fear, anger or rage

12.1. An example of spirits who control the Chinese government

I was speaking to a group of spirits just a week or so ago when we were down at Kyabra, down in Kentucky in New South Wales, and there were four or five million of them that I was speaking to. They were trying to tell me that they were one of the most powerful groups of spirits on Earth and the reason why they felt that was because they had control of the Chinese government, and they felt the Chinese government was becoming one of the most powerful governments on Earth. [01:24:05.06]

So because they were in control of the Chinese government they believed themselves to be the most powerful people on Earth. I asked one lady Celestial spirit to come to them and they, all five million of these women, could not harm her. Five million could not harm one person, that's how much power they had. And then I asked the lady to display some of her powers to them which really shocked them and eventually they got into a lot of grief as a result of seeing the contrast between their power and the power that this one single spirit had.

Now this group of women that I was speaking with, they view men as basically superfluous to society, and so I asked one man to come who was a Celestial spirit as well; and what could they do to the one man? Nothing, and the difference was the amount of love, not the amount of rage, anger, terror or any of those other emotions. The difference was the amount of love.

You see we have this viewpoint on Earth, and this is one of our problems with the world's definition of love, that love is a weak emotion. You think about it in your own relationships even, if you are openly and unabashedly in love with your partner, you'll see how many of your same sex feels that to be a place of weakness. There are even words for it when we have a feeling of love towards our partner. There are these quite derogatory words that are often used, saying how controlled we are by our love. But love doesn't control anything, and it can't be controlled. So it's another false belief we have about love that love results in control. [01:26:28.17]

So we need to stop seeing the world's definition of what is powerful, that's the point I'm trying to get at here. We need to stop seeing terror, fear, anger, and rage as power and start seeing them for what they really are emotionally; they are the weakest possible emotions we could engage in. They are also the most damaging to our soul. Every time we engage in them we reinforce the damage to our own soul, so they are the worst possible emotions that we could engage inside of ourselves. Now I'm not saying not to experience them; I'm saying we need to stop going to them as our power play, as our way of feeling better about what's going on inside of ourselves emotionally.

12.2. God views love as the greatest and most powerful emotion

So the world's definition of love is that love is weak. What's God's definition of love? Love is the greatest and most powerful emotion that you will ever and could ever experience. Can you see the difference between those two totally opposite opinions? One is saying love is weak, vulnerable and all those kinds of things. Love isn't vulnerable. I don't believe at all. Can you see how many of us feel that love is vulnerable? It's not vulnerable. If you love everything that's going on around you, how is that a position of vulnerability? Isn't it a position of strength? Love is the strongest possible thing you could experience in every situation, that's the truth, that's God's Truth.

Unfortunately the way the world sees it is that love is one of the weakest and easily manipulated emotions on the planet, that's the way the world sees it. It's totally incorrect. I put to you that if love is manipulated then it's not love, because love cannot be manipulated, that's the reality. [01:28:47.04]

So the world's definition of love is the complete opposite to God's definition of love and the world's definition of fear, anger, terror, rage, those kinds of emotions, is in the place of God's definition of love. We view this as the most powerful position, unfortunately, most of the time.

Mary: I've really being praying a lot for God to show me that love is the most powerful, defining, controlling force in our universe. Because of the level of terror that I carry, I look around in the world that we live in and I say, "No, fear rules here, anger rules here," and so I love these words that you're talking about. But I know in my honesty, if I'm in truth, in my truth as I am right now, I am still praying a lot to receive this truth in my soul that love rules, because I do glimpse at times that love does rule this world, because there is always a consequence for the fear and the harm and the anger and all of that, it's just harder to see it here. If we feel our souls then I feel it immediately, whenever I'm in fear or anger or shame and I live in that place I feel the penalty on my soul now more.

And the weakness of it as well.

Mary: Yes but once upon a time I could detune from all of that and I thought it was a pretty powerful way to live to avoid fear and to use control to get what I want. So I have a lot of feeling at the moment because it's really what I'm walking through, in a causal way I feel, about really accepting that love does rule everything.

But this is why it's so hard living in the world, isn't it? Because fear rules the world and we've grown up in the world, then we're going to grow up in a condition where fear rules us; that's the reality unfortunately. But when we're confronted with this concept, even as a beginning it's an intellectual concept, that actually no, God created a universe that love rules, now we're starting to be quite confused, because in the world we see around us fear rules, and what we're trying to present is that, no, actually in the entire universe God's Love rules. So we're starting to go, well that's not my reality, that's not what I'm seeing because what I see is that fear rules here. [01:32:38.20]

12.2.1. Releasing terror is necessary to learn that love rules

Mary: And I've literally felt huge emotional distress at this truth. I feel like it's less now, but really you know it has been so like an assault on my reality to come to even pray to come to accept that love rules. And I guess my question is about do we need to release our terror in order to accept this?

Yes. Terror is the emotion that prevents the truth that love rules, from entering our own soul. So the thing that prevents this truth from entering my soul is the emotion of terror and fear.

Mary: It's so beautiful to hear you speak about these things. I love it; it's like a balm on your soul. You go, "Yes this is the truth," but to live this, to confront my terror in my daily life and to have faith that no, love rules this process for me is tumultuous, and that's I guess what I wanted to share.

And this is importance of those two qualities, faith and courage.

Mary: Yes.

Faith and courage are needed to release our fear and terror, so that we can learn the truth that love rules

Because what I'm saying to you is that love does rule the universe, but before you're ever going to experience your terror fully, you're going to have to have faith that that's true. You're going to have to have faith that there is a God who loves and God created this system that loves in the universe, and these two qualities are going to be able to drive you into experiencing these terrors that you experience. And as Mary correctly pointed out, if you don't experience your terror and your fear, you will never ever emotionally accept that love rules. You'll never emotionally accept it in your entire life. And I've talked to many spirits who've lived thousands of years who have yet to accept that love actually rules the universe and because of that, that truth hasn't entered their heart, and it's always because of the level of terror and fear they are in personally that they don't release that. [01:35:28.02]

12.3. Love creates change

Participant: Lately like I worked through some addictions a little and how I behave in situations will change, and how my sons behave has also changed, which has been really good. I know I'm being more loving to them but it's like I feel very lost without the addiction going and now that that's gone it's like...

You're getting stripped of the veneer.

Participant: Yeah and I find I feel really it's almost a little bit frightening and I feel lost it's like, "I don't know what this is".

Yeah and this is a good place to stay in. You'll get used to it. Remember in many of the talks in the past I've talked about the soul expanding, being stretched. Remember I've talked about that? You see we try often to prevent the stretching of our own soul. The way it stretches is by going through these positions of confusion and these feelings of feeling like I don't know where I am now. This is a good sign that your soul is stretching to a new place. Because if you're in a level of comfort what's happening? Nothing's stretching, nothing's changing, but you're going to feel comfortable of course. But nothing's stretching, nothing's changing and this is another false belief that the world has about love; they feel love is constant. So, "If they love me they'll love me for the rest of their life." And they have this feeling that love generates loyalty. In other words if somebody says they love me, then they should be loyal to me and so forth. But the reality is that love constantly changes, causes change. [01:37:48.04]

Participant: I think I have this expectation of what love would feel like and it's not that.

No, but can you see because our expectation of what love feels like has nothing to do with God's Love; it's got everything to do with the world's definition of love, because we grew up in a world expecting those things. That's the thing, so every single time we're going to think that it's this and even want to feel that it's the world's definition, but it's going to be very, very different from the world's definition, every single time.

12.4. Love is not vulnerable

Participant: What you were saying before, that love was invulnerable, don't we ourselves have to be vulnerable to receive it?

I don't feel we have to be vulnerable at all, no. That's my feeling.

Participant: Or as in be vulnerable enough to drop your fear of accepting what love could be, rather than accepting what you feel love is.

Yeah, Mary and I have had many discussions about this word vulnerability and I just cannot agree that vulnerability is actually about being open to receiving love. I feel the reality is that vulnerability is a product of your fear. In other words every time you think "I'm being vulnerable", you're actually in a state of fear and covering over with it by justifying a word called vulnerability. Do you understand what I'm saying now? I know that might sound a bit confusing.

When I believe I'm being vulnerable, I am automatically in a state of fear. When I'm in a state of being open to love completely, I no longer feel that I'm vulnerable, I feel strong, and I feel completely a different emotion. I don't feel vulnerable at all, I feel strength when I'm totally open to love, and I feel the word vulnerability comes from an underlying fear of being open and truthful, and it's a fear actually of being attacked I feel, that causes us to use this word vulnerability. [01:40:15.15]

My feelings are that when I am truly open to love and love is flowing through me, I no longer feel vulnerable; I feel impregnable. I feel completely the opposite once I'm in a state of love. This is why God has the most impregnable position in the universe, because God has the most love and that's the beauty of love. You see it's our viewpoint again that gets twisted by these words and twisted in the end by the feeling of fear.

So I often hear many of you use the words, "I'm being vulnerable now," and I would say back to you, and I've said this to Mary frequently, "No you're being fearful now." The fact that you're now saying to me that you're being vulnerable is a fear being expressed, because you wouldn't feel that way if you were truly open and felt the position of strength in the love and truth that you're expressing. I feel completely different about these emotions to the way that most people feel.

Participant: It's probably because, as I said, love that people receive ends up hurting them in some way.

Yes.

Participant: Therefore they fear receiving it.

And I put to you that love that hurts wasn't love in the first place.

12.5. Love brings everything to us

Participant: Does love bring awareness?

Love brings everything. Love brings knowledge, awareness, understanding, truth, passion and desire, everything that's good that you can imagine in the universe comes through the vehicle of love. The reason why I'm doing this series of discussions with the audience is because I feel we're still taking on the world's view of love and what is the world's view of love? It's like those things that we listed earlier you know that love is weak, love is powerless, love is vulnerable and we could make a long list of all of these things that the world views love to be.

How the world views love

And yet when we look at them God is not weak, God is not powerless; the pinnacle of love in the universe is not weak. The pinnacle of love in the universe, God, is not powerless and God's position is not vulnerable, it's impregnable. So can you see we're thinking the wrong way aren't we? By thinking that love is these things, we're actually just taking on the world's definition of it all, that's all we're doing. We're not really taking on God's definition because if you look at God and the position God's in; God's definition is totally the opposite of what we're thinking. [01:43:41.25]

12.6. Love is childlike and spontaneous

Participant: I would like to ask, it feels more childlike for me this place to love.

I agree.

Participant: And more spontaneous.

You see now you're listing some other emotions, which I don't agree are in the weak, powerless and vulnerable place. I don't feel the feeling of being a child is weak and I don't feel spontaneous is weak, but the world does. Can you see how the world's viewing all these things and it's no wonder we've grown up thinking all of these things, because the world around us views it all this way, so we grow up thinking exactly the way the world thinks. That's what we do.

But the reality is a lot of the words that are used; we think being a child's not weak. Man, the child's freedom is incredible compared to my own. If you think about it, how much our life is dictated to in comparison to a child's? A child has freedom and is spontaneous. And isn't it lovely to live in a spontaneous world? Now for many of us we go, "Well no, it's not lovely," because we want control and we feel control is powerful. No, control is one of the weakest things that we could do. [01:45:30.11]

When we deal with the cause of control and we no longer have it in our lives, we will love an uncontrolled life. The irony is it's going to be far better than your controlled one. That's also one of the realities of truth of God's Love.

13. Summary of Session 2, Part 1

So can you see through this discussion already that we have grown up in this environment that accepts that the world's definition of love is the truth about love and the reality unfortunately is entirely the opposite to that. The world's definition of love is so far away from love to be laughable really, and it's certainly not logical either. God's position of love, which the world views as weak, powerless, vulnerable and all of those other things, is actually the strongest position that anybody could ever have.

I've got to pull out the Bible now, sorry for all of you people who are upset. I've just got a different one. I'm in the process of buying different translations of the Bible, and you know there are some things that it says that are quite good. (Laughter) Tomorrow in our discussion we'll also see that there are some things that it says that are not very good at all unfortunately, but there are some things that it says that are good, and my dear friend John penned this with some spirit inspiration. It says, "God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in him. In this way love is made complete among us so that we may have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." [01:48:03.03]

It's a lovely verse don't you think? First John 4: starts in verse 16 to 18. And that's what we're trying to do, is trying to illustrate to you the difference between the world's viewpoint of love. See the world doesn't have that viewpoint of love unfortunately. The world has a very, very different viewpoint of love and what we need to do is we need to start challenging this viewpoint within ourselves that we have accepted all of our lives many times, until this point. We've accepted that the world's viewpoint of love is the only correct viewpoint of love and we have denied in our soul because of the terror and fear that exists within our soul, we deny this one major truth that's going to come from God when we allow ourselves to feel our terror and our fear and that is, this truth that actually God's Love rules the universe.

Love is actually the most powerful emotion that we could ever feel, that is the reality. Can you see that before this reality, before this truth can enter me I must be prepared to actually experience my terror and my fear? Without experiencing my terror and my fear this truth cannot enter me and I am going to believe this truth (that fear and terror rule) to be false. I am going to believe that fear rules the universe and when I believe intellectually and more importantly emotionally believe that fear rules the universe, you know what I've just done? I've made myself subservient to fear. Fear has become my owner and I have become its slave. That's what I've done. [01:50:12.09]

But once I can accept that love rules, and the only way to do this is to remove these feelings of terror and fear from within me, from that moment on I am now believing that love rules the universe. And what becomes my owner? Love also becomes my owner. It's love that dictates my actions then. Can you see the importance of dealing with your fears and terror?

About a year or so ago now I did a series of talks about fear. Can you see why I did? It's because without you experiencing this terror and fear within inside of yourself and actually releasing it so that it's no longer a part of you, you will never accept God's definition of love. You will always have the world's definition of it, and while you have the world's definition of it, it's impossible to act in a loving way without trying. And this is why many of you feel tired, because you're having to try to get over the terror and fear that exists within you, that is telling you that this is true (that fear rules), rather than telling you that this is true (that love rules) and that's a very important step to make in your own spiritual progression. It's one of the most important steps you can ever make actually.

The World's Definition of Love: Session 2, Part 2

14. The world's vs. God's definition of love

Now what I wanted to do initially in coming back was to revise some of the things we covered when we were in the Melbourne session (Human Relationships - The World's Definition of Love S1 Q&A) about the world's definition of love, versus God's definition of love.

14.1. Love is never painful

The world's view of love is that love is painful. You know those songs that go, "Love hurts..." (AJ sings) God's view of love is that love is never painful. Hmm, love is never painful. Well then why do I feel pain when I love and somebody else doesn't love me back? Because of an emotional error!

So the key thing to remember is that the world's view of love is coming from a fear-based perspective. We need to remember that from our previous discussion? Since it's coming from a fear-based perspective, pain is going to be a result of living in fear at some point. So this whole idea that love is painful isn't the truth. Love is never painful, that is the truth. This is just a revision; you can look at the material Mary and I presented in that discussion in Melbourne, which goes through the material properly, but I just want to revise this part of the material at this point.

14.2. Love is never demanding

Love is demanding. How many times do we feel that? That we can demand something of someone, "They should have done that for me because they say they love me." Does that make much sense really? Well it does to the world, but God's view is that love is never a demand. You don't see God placing demands on your life. In fact when it comes to demands, God is silent. [00:02:37.27]

So love is never a demand and the reason why is that God Herself doesn't demand anything of us. God is hopeful, so love is often hopeful that we do something or that we follow something and so forth, but there's never a demand in it. It reminds me of the movie "Phenomenon" with John Travolta. How many of you have not watched it? Mary keeps warning me to never tell the ending. I'll just tell a little. (Laughter) She comes up the hill and she sees a blanket lying on the ground and she says, "Are you expecting something?" And he smiles at her and he says, "No I'm just hoping." (Laughter) So love doesn't demand or expect, love does hope though. So there's a difference between those qualities.

14.3. Love is never sacrifice

The world's view is love is sacrifice. The whole idea that I came in the first century to die for mankind's sins would never ever have made any logical sense to anyone unless the world had the view that love is sacrifice. Because the world has the view that love is sacrifice, they then see what I did as the ultimate sacrifice, but the reality is quite different to that; love is never a sacrifice. I did not feel that I was sacrificing myself and never do I feel that I'm sacrificing myself if I'm in a condition where I love. Now that's interesting, isn't it? How many times in a day-to-day relationship do you feel like, "I've got to compromise here"? (and we'll talk about compromise in a minute) quite frequently I suggest. [00:04:53.03]

14.4. Love is not justice

And this fourth one is interesting that love is justice. I once had a psychologist say to me (and he was telling me why I was unhappy in my relationship with my ex-wife), "You know," he said, "It's all about justice. If you and her both give the same amount and receive the same amount, then at the end of the day you'll be happy." And while he's right with regard to human relationships, and I had to admit that he was right, that's not what love is, because love is not justice. If love were justice then if you poked my eye out what would love tell me to do? Poke yours back out. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth is the principle of justice, but it does not engage necessarily the principle of love.

So we can't continue to think that love is justice. Many of you still want justice rather than love. You think about it in your relationships, how many times do you want justice rather than love? "I've done this for you, what are you doing for me?" We want an evenness in what's been done, compared to what's being done for us. That is called justice and while justice can have its place, it's certainly not love, because love gives gifts that never have an expectation of return. It's very, very different. [00:06:39.21]

Now already can you see the fear perception coming through with the world's definition of love, through these ideas? The fear is underlying many of these ideas about love. Whereas if you look at God's view of love you can see that there is no fear in any of those concepts of love that God has. They are all very, very different conceptually to the world's view.

15. Coming to accept God's view of love

So if have grown up with this (the world's view), it's going to be quite painful to release that view and accept God's view, obviously, because I've grown up thinking this. So if I can give you some illustrations of that.

15.1. An illustration of loving somebody who does not love us back

For example, when I love somebody who does not love me back. Now for most of us in the past, we would have felt pain about that. Many of us still do, some of you right now are loving people who don't love you back and you feel a large degree of pain as a result. But if it were love then it wouldn't be painful, so that's telling me that it's not love that I'm feeling. We've got ask ourselves that question.

I realised in a rediscovery of a lot of this, feelings about love and the qualities of love; what love truly displays. When I started investigating that in my own life, I had to be very honest with myself, because you can stay in a belief that love is painful if you wish. You can feel over and over again how painful it is to love somebody who doesn't love you back. However if you do so, you will never come to accept the truth, which is God's view, and remember when we become at-one with God we are accepting God's view on everything, particularly everything regarding love. [00:09:11.11]

So while I'm holding on to this idea that love is painful, I am preventing myself from ever getting to the truth that love is never painful and I'm also not saying to myself, "If God's saying love is never painful and I believe love is painful then I have a problem with my definition of love, not God. I have the problem and if I have the problem, how am I ever going to get to God's view when I want to hold on to the world's view? I'm never going to get there."

And I think it's very important for each of you to understand that with all of these things that we say what the world's view is, and then we're contrasting that with God's view, if we don't have some kind of sense within ourselves that we want to have God's view at some point, then we'll be very tempted to hold onto the world's views in our own pain. We'll be creating our own pain as a result, holding on to these views.

When we have God's view, the pain of love disappears and when I say God's view, it's not God's view from the mind it's not from the mind but rather it is a feeling that you feel within your heart. So I can say to you, "Love is never painful," and you can say, "Love is never painful, love is never painful, I have to remember that, love is never painful," and then when a situation happens where you love somebody and they don't love you back, you go, "I shouldn't be feeling the pain because love is never painful." That's not what I'm asking you to do, because that is just intellectualising yourself over the emotion you feel, which is that love is painful, because I'm feeling the pain of it right now.

I'm suggesting that you need to feel that pain. However, understand in that moment when you're in God's place of seeing love and feeling love, you will not feel that pain, that pain that now you are feeling. And it's very important for you to see the difference of that in terms of a feeling, rather than an intellectual thought jumping over a feeling that you have. Don't try to falsify to yourself the feeling and use your intellect to get out of the real feeling that you have. [00:12:10.02]

16. Discerning between addictions and love

16.1. Happiness can be derived from love or from addictions being met

Participant: I was just wondering, is love directly relative to happiness? So, like if you have absolutely no love in your soul, does that mean you have absolutely no happiness? Is love the breeding place for happiness?

Well it depends what kind of happiness you're talking about. If it's the happiness of having your addictions fulfilled, then love isn't that place. But love is the true soul-based joy; it's the source of all true soul based joy. However, the problem that we face, and we'll talk about this in a minute, is that the world's definition of happiness and God's definition of happiness are two different things as well. And in fact the world's definition of God and God's definition of God are completely different as well. [00:13:04.18]

So the question with regard to happiness; happiness often comes from the meeting of addictions and that's not going to be a place of long-term joy for you, if you continue to have your addictions met. But you can have temporary happiness through having your addictions met. There are many people in the world and many people in the spirit world who are doing that. So you've got to be careful assessing love through the process of happiness. "I'm happy so therefore I'm in love," does not necessarily follow.

A few months ago when we were in Greece we talked about the addictions between a couple in "The Human Soul - Sexual Attraction". I talked about the open chakras between each couple in those talks, and the reality is that the more of my chakra's addictions that get met by the other person, the more happier and sexually attracted to them I will feel. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm actually, at the soul level, happy or feeling joy or love. So that's a bit of a conundrum; trying to measure things through happiness doesn't always come out with love. [00:14:46.18]

16.2. Discerning Divine Love from feelings from spirits

16.2.1. God's Love is not selective and will never feed addictions

Participant: I'm just wondering how can you tell the difference between God's Love and a spirit projecting so called love, just based on the channelling that Nina did when she said she didn't feel love when she was with you and Mary, but when she went away she did. How can we tell the difference?

Well firstly would God's Love be selectable like that?

Participant: No.

No, so she was basically saying in her channelling that myself or Mary being in her presence prevented her from feeling love. Now would God's Love be prevented by anybody in your vicinity? No, so therefore if it is being prevented then it has to be something to do with an addiction. From God's perspective, no matter what situation you're in, She wants to give you love. So if you're in the company of people who actually want to teach you love and you're not feeling any love, then you've got to start questioning who you're getting the love from. [00:15:56.29]

What are your feelings when I say something like that? It's true but what are the feelings that many of you have. I can feel in you, "Ah no, I've been asking for love from God, but I might be getting love from a spirit. What do I do now?"

Participant: And that's what I mean how can we individually tell the difference?

God's Love is never the result of an addiction. The only way for you to tell the difference is to know what you're addicted to.

Participant: So it comes back to self responsibility.

It does, yeah a lot.

Mary: I think I'm very aware of my addictions and as I've gone on I've developed a sense that the happy feeling I get from addictions actually now feels icky because I can feel it's an addictive sort of happiness.

Yeah, you'll get to the point where your addictions actually feel painful not pleasurable.

Mary: Even if I get a warm fuzzy feeling I still go, "Urgh,"

It feels sleazy.

Mary: Yep I feel like, "Ah something was off in that exchange with that person, it felt kind of icky", but I also feel that discernment about the qualities of love has helped me with that.

Certainly.

Mary: Like if I'm feeling good and I'm feeling good but I know about love and I know I'm not practising love with people, then something's off. Because sometimes it's challenging, you have to face a lot of fears as we said, not live in my fear but confront my fear to take a loving action. The feeling I get from that is a much nicer quality of feeling that feels like I'm in harmony with God's Love. [00:18:17.14]

16.2.2. God's Love causes us to grow in love

Mary: My theory is, if I'm not growing in love, any feeling I'm getting from outside of myself is not from God.

No. It's very true.

Mary: God is giving. God has an inbuilt feedback mechanism for me to help my soul grow. So if I can visibly see my life is not changing and I'm not growing in love but I'm getting nice feelings, something's off. If I can feel myself growing and then I'm getting nice feelings from outside myself, so then I know I'm okay.

There's a higher chance of it being from God.

Mary: But I feel also if you really want to know the truth about this, you do know the truth about it. It's just that often we don't want to know.

Yeah, totally.

Mary: Because there's a feeling I get from my guides and the feeling I get from God, they're all so lovely but they're discernible to me now, as is an addictive feeling from another person or a spirit.

You've got to want to know your addictions before you will actually notice what's loving and what isn't, because if you don't know your addictions then you're just living in them, at the end of the day all you're going to be doing is following your addictions and feeling nice when they get met and feeling bad when they don't. Until you're out of your addictions and noticing your addictions, it's very, very hard to determine where you're receiving love from. However, may I point something out to you; the whole reason why we're having this conversation is so that you can tell the difference.

Mary: Exactly, yes.

16.2.3. Discerning addictions vs. love

If you look at this example I gave before, if any time you love somebody and it feels painful, you know you're in addiction. If any time you feel love for somebody and you're feeling quite demanding of them, you know you're in an addiction. Any time that you feel, "I'm having to sacrifice myself again, I'm having to do something for them again, why can't they do it for themselves?" Then I think love is a sacrifice and I'm in an addiction. And if I go, "Where's the justice here, where's the justice here? There's no justice here. They should do for me what I did for them. If they don't then there's no justice." If I'm feeling that, then I'm in an addiction. I'm not understanding love. [00:20:47.19]

Now if I'm doing that and feeling love from someone in spirit, like a spirit or who I think is God, do you think it's coming from God, when God has these opinions of love? Obviously not.

So where's it coming from? It's coming from a person who's willing to meet these addictions in you, the world's view of love. That's where it's coming from. [00:21:14.00]

So I feel that the more armed you are with truth surrounding what the world's definition of love is and what God's view of love is, the more you know what God's view of love is, even intellectually, you can easily tell where the "love" feelings are coming from, if you allow yourself to notice. You don't need to be afraid of it, you just need to go, "Here we go again, another spirit giving me a nice feeling. To be frank I still feel demanding, okay this is just a spirit giving me a nice feeling, definitely not coming from God." [00:21:50.07]

Mary: The reason I'm not teaching is because I realised I had a lot of fear which is affecting the purity of what I am teaching. I feel that if I still have a lot of anger inside of myself and in my life, I really know that I'm far from love. These things (the world's view of love) all create anger, and so that's just what I've noticed is the less anger I have, the more I know I'm developing in love but also I feel more of a God connection.

Yeah it's very true. Well of course because anger, remember, is the result of you choosing anger to meet an addiction. So whenever you're in anger you know you're not going to be receiving love from God. You might receive a lot of approval and acceptance emotions from spirits in that place, and you definitely will receive those in many cases, but you're certainly not going to be receiving love from God.

So I feel it's a lot to do with the discussion before the break about how our anger and our terror work. How with our fear and terror if we choose to be powerful, we choose to try to get the addiction met, then it will automatically result in anger or rage. If I'm in anger or rage or I've got a tendency to want to go towards anger and rage, then obviously I'm yet to deal with my addictions, so therefore I'm yet to really experience love from God in a lot of ways because I'm still heavily in my addictions. [00:24:05.25]

Mary: Logic tells me that God is going to be able to love me more, the more I grow in love, and when I live in my addictions, He can't give me love. So the reality for me is that I had to face a lot of time without receiving very much of God's Love, because I was really entrenched in a lot of addictions. This is why I feel it's so important to talk about what is love and what isn't love and I feel so passionate about God but it's really important that we understand, like you said, God's view of things.

16.2.4. Reasons for feeling afraid of confusing God's Love with feelings from spirits

Does that answer your question about receiving God's Love?

Participant: Yes it does.

You don't need to worry so much; you need to let yourself feel more. You see when we ask questions like, "But is it a spirit, is it not a spirit?" that's us worrying, and that's called a fear. And when we worry we're afraid, so let yourself feel your fear, what's your fear? [00:25:10.27]

Participant: Getting it wrong.

Fear of getting it wrong.

Participant: Getting told off.

But why would you worry about getting it wrong? Because you're worried about getting told off. How do you feel when you get told off?

Participant: Ashamed and small and powerless.

So the emotion you're trying prevent by asking the question is?

Participant: The powerlessness.

The emotion of powerlessness, and feeling ashamed and humiliated.

Participant: Yes. Sounds so easy when you say it.

That's because it is easy (smile) if we're willing to feel the emotion. The only reason why it's easy for me is I'm going, "Feel this, feel this, feel this. I'm feeling Rochelle, feeling Rochelle, feeling Rochelle," I'm open to feeling you as much as I'm open to feeling myself and therefore open to feeling your emotions as much as I'm open to feeling my own. If that happens then I go it's this, this, take the train down, there it is. It's quite easy, but the reality is there's resistance inside of you of feeling the emotion of humiliation, so therefore there's a desire to avoid the emotion of humiliation by asking the question. [00:26:16.09]

Participant: Yes. Thank you.

16.3. An example of a lady discerning love from addictions in a relationship

Participant: If I'm in a relationship again with my ex partner believing him to be my soulmate and I just thought that I'd let it go its path and see what happens. It concerns me because it's going so nicely, (laughter) and I look at all these things and I say, at the time that I've been with him it has not been painful, demanding, sacrifice or justice, I feel, but I know that I have all those addictions and I haven't worked through them all. So is it at the time when I'm with the person and experiencing whatever I feel, could it be okay?

(Laughs) You're now asking me to be the arbitrator of your relationship, which I cannot do, but let me answer your question. If I know that I have all of the world's beliefs about love still in me, and therefore a lot of addictions, which maintain those beliefs, then there is a high likelihood that my relationship is in an addictive phase, where I'm meeting his addictions, and he's meeting my addictions. So highly likely that it's in an addictive phase. That doesn't mean you go, "Ah my relationship's in an addictive phase let's end the relationship," I'm not suggesting that. What I'm suggesting is deal with the addictions. So you go, "Okay why do I feel so nice?" Is it because I'm in this place of God's view of love, where I'm in love and it's not painful to me anymore? What happens if he cheats on me tomorrow? How would I feel then? Would you feel pain then? [00:29:09.16]

Participant: Probably.

Okay. So if I'm going to feel pain under that circumstance then I've still obviously got an addiction in play.

Participant: So do I wait until it happens or...? (Laughter)

Why would you wait until it happens?

Participant: Because I don't know.

The likelihood is if you wait until it happens, then your soul is going to be part of the contributor of it happening because you're not dealing with the addiction inside of you, and so your soul attraction is going to attract the event happening. Wouldn't it be better to go, "Yeah I can feel that there's going to be a lot of jealousy and a lot of pain in me if he cheated on me"? Wouldn't it be better to just feel about that now, rather than wait until the event?

Participant: Yes.

Okay so let's say he wakes up one morning, you're holding him in your arms and you say, "What did you dream last night?" And he said, "Well I dreamt I was having sex with this other lady." If he was honest, he might have dreamt that, and if you've got an honest relationship you'd tell each other probably your dreams. Mary and I do all the time because we find that there's a lot of truth in the dreams in terms of what needs to be dealt with emotionally. So you tell each other your dreams and he tells you that, how would you feel? [00:30:32.01]

Participant: To be honest I feel that I've got quite a lot of error in that area and I don't think I'd be jealous.

Okay so you feel like you deserve it?

Participant: Probably that's how I feel, yeah.

Okay so if that's the feeling you have, then you're willing to put up with and maintain a relationship with a person who obviously hasn't got a complete heart towards yourself.

Participant: No I wouldn't do that either. Well that's what I think I wouldn't do.

No, I'm saying you would. I'm saying you would because you're already deprecating yourself in the relationship. Now if you look at the past when you were together who deprecated herself in the relationship and who took a dominant position? [00:31:18.26]

Participant: He did.

Okay so can you see you've still got that emotion inside of you? And how is your relationship going now? Are you deprecating yourself now and him being dominant still?

Participant: I don't know.

Is it not being going long enough to know?

Participant: No.

Okay.

Participant: But I guess the answer might be that if he's not being truthful to what's been happening then that is what you're just saying, deprecation.

16.3.1. Being truthful and open

Yeah what I'm saying to you is if both of you are being truthful, both of you are being honest, both of you are being open, both of you are being loving, then both of you would be honest and open and loving with each other constantly and in that process, if you engage that process fully, you will be bluntly honest with each other and in the process of all this blunt honesty coming out of you, different emotions will definitely get triggered. Emotions will definitely come up. Then when they come up the idea is then to feel them, engage them and feel them; that's the idea. Most of us don't even let those emotions come up, because we don't even get to the point of being honest with each other with everything that we feel.

So the reality unfortunately for many relationships is, I think a certain thing but I don't say it, and my partner thinks a certain thing and doesn't say it to me. And I might start thinking a certain think and saying it to them, expecting that they will do the same to me but I have to be realistic; are they doing the same to me? Do they have the same goals and desires or not?

Participant: That's what I feel. I feel that I try to be honest as I can but he's not with me.

Can I just ask you a question? What's this statement "as honest as I can?" I'm a bit confused about that statement.

Participant: Yeah, I've always thought that I was as honest as I could be, but I think I'm discovering that through all the addictions and things, I've just been kidding myself.

Yeah can I point out that most people have an internal dialogue, is that not true? Many of you have experienced this where you have an internal dialogue going on and the internal dialogue very rarely matches their external dialogue.

Now for many of us this has been a pattern that we learnt very, very young, very young. You know, a next door neighbour comes over and we're looking up at the next door neighbour and go, "Mummy doesn't like you," because mummy told us she doesn't like her. And so we just say "Mummy doesn't like you" and what does mummy do? Smack, "That's not true, how dare you say that. No, I like you," gives her a hug, and then when she walks out the door, "I don't like her actually but don't you ever say that anymore." [00:34:34.00]

So what do we learn to do? We learn to falsify the actual internal dialogue, to make it pleasant and palatable to the potential receiver. We do this with our parents first and then our parents usually have taught us to do it with everyone around us.

Now, the problem with that is our internal dialogue is far more a mirror of what's going on in our soul than anything else is. Our external dialogue is not a mirror of what's going on in our soul because when we were young that was beaten out of us, generally, or punished out of us. So for most of us the internal dialogue is the truth or more truth; that's the truth we want to access.

Now what's the fast way to access that internal dialogue? Is just to learn to say the words that are actually going on inside the head, just to say it and then go, "Whoa, (laughter) did I say that?" "Whoa, gee that's pretty dark that one." You know and allow ourselves to, without judgement, notice that it's actually going through us and then we can start working with that, you see. We can start working with that and we actually, through that process, can engage other's help by just saying exactly what's going on.

Now we do this most often in relationships unfortunately, because we have a huge investment in relationships and many of you in fact have a huge investment in the soulmate relationship. And when I say have an investment; you have an investment of it working out, because there's a huge amount of fear if it doesn't work out, "What am I going to be left with? Nothing. I'm going to be alone, unwanted and uncared for, for the rest of my life." That is the feeling that we don't want to feel and so what we do is we have a tendency then to falsify what goes on in the relationship. In other words we accept things in what we believe to be a soulmate relationship, which we would not normally accept in a standard relationship, and that is the beginning of our error. [00:37:07.27]

16.3.2. Truth binds relationships together

Mary and I want to talk about soulmates a bit more. It will probably be in a few months time. You see one thing I want to point out to you is, as a general comment, there's bucket loads of truth yet, a lot more about soulmates that we want to talk about, but one basic truth about soulmates, Laurleen, is very important, and that is that the truth is what binds the two halves together. Truth is the thing that creates all openings of love between the two halves of the soul.

So if you cannot be truthful and honest and open with the partner, and I'm not talking about the veneer layer of truth, honest and openness, I'm talking about the real deep, dark, really unpleasant feelings that we have. We've also got to be careful about blaming our soulmate for them, because they all came from before we met our soulmate. They've usually all come from our parents and the environment we've grown up in. So therefore if I'm saying, "You're like this, you're like that," I'm really saying, "Daddy's like this, daddy's like that." If I'm in a relationship with you, you're a woman and I'm a male and I'm saying, "You're like this, you're like that, you're like this," I'm really saying one of two things. I'm saying, "Mummy's like that, mummy's like that, mummy's like that." Or I'm saying, "Dad thinks mummy's like that." And I'm not really dealing with you as an individual; I'm dealing with all of these unhealed emotions from my parents that I'm now applying across this relationship. And if I continue to do that, that's not really being honest. The honest thing is to say, "Yeah my dad was like that, my mum was like that." That's the more honest thing to do because that's going to get me closer to the truth of the emotions.

But when you say you're being "as honest as you can", the reality is that you can be perfectly honest. All of you are capable of being perfectly honest. When you say, "as honest as I can," you are now introducing the fear in your honesty. And to be honest most of us have terrible amounts of fear about honesty, because almost every time when you were little and you told the truth, when mummy and daddy didn't like it what happened to you? All hell broke loose. You had a screaming maniac with usually a stick or some other weapon in their hand going for you when you did that. That's something that's terrifying and this is where we get back to our terror. [00:40:08.29]

So the statement "as honest as I can" starts with a fear and in the end there's a lot of terror in that statement. There's a lot of fear and terror about being truthful and being honest and being open no matter what, no matter what the result, because the result in our childhood was often a very, very harsh treatment of honesty.

Now my suggestion in the relationship though is to allow myself to see God's view of love and when anything comes up, just engage the situation in truth and honesty completely, perfectly, which you are capable of doing, and allow yourself to say the truth, and then notice what happens. Then if all hell breaks loose in the relationship you go, "Yeah, this relationship isn't quite as truthful as I thought I could be. And there goes my addictions," so I also see that I must have been having an addiction prior to that otherwise I would have found that out sooner most probably. [00:41:17.04]

16.3.3. "Perfect" relationships when we're not at-one with God are addictive

For myself, I had one relationship for thirteen years, I was married for thirteen years and that entire time we did not have a single argument. But did that make it a loving relationship?

Participant: My partner was married for something like twenty five years and he prides himself on never having an argument until later on. And that's where I have a lot of difficulty in myself that I don't believe what he tells me.

There are three potential reasons why a couple won't have an argument at some point. The first reason is they're both at-one with God. Now that's obviously not my case or yours okay, so there's that one gone. The second reason is that one or the other, one of us is pandering to the other's emotional addictions, and obviously the third is both of us are pandering to each other's emotional addictions. You see if we're not in at-onement with God and we have a 'perfect' relationship it has to be an addiction. [00:42:45.08]

If we're not in at-onement with God, which means we're perfectly now cleared of all emotional injuries, we're in harmony with love completely as God designed us to be, and we have what we believe is a perfect relationship or a good relationship, then both of us have to be in addictions, that's the only other option. That's a basic truth about a relationship. No one wants a relationship now. Or you're going, "Oh no, how many addictions have I got?" (Laughter). Does everyone understand that basic statement? We don't want to understand that basic statement; that one just goes in one ear and out the other ear.

But it is a truth; if we feel we have a good relationship that is without any turmoil in it and we are not yet at-one with God, then we are in co-dependent addictions. We have to be in co-dependent addiction for that to happen. Now that co-dependent addiction in a relationship is very hard to work your way through. The reason why is both of you are meeting each other's addictions and it's automatic; if it's such a good relationship it has to be automatic and for that to occur, it's going to take one or both of you starting to see the co-dependent addictions that are in play and address them. That's a challenge.

What I've noticed happen many times is if God is taken out of the picture in a relationship and you just focus on the happiness in the relationship, you'll find that many people will be completely satisfied with their relationship, otherwise they wouldn't be in one most of the time, particularly nowadays when it's easier to leave the relationship and go and find something that's more satisfying or fulfilling.

16.3.4. Truthful relationships that include God brings people closer

However, when you add God to the relationship, now, if you're both progressing toward God, that is going to become the measure of the addiction you're in. So no longer is the happiness of the relationship the paramount position, but rather the growth of the relationship becomes a more important position. Do you see the difference? It's not the relationship staying in a safe, stable and non-confronting place that is where you would like to be, but rather there is an expectation of continual growth. And when you engage this growth a very interesting thing happens. You become very close, much closer than it's capable of doing when you're in the addiction. [00:46:00.07]

And that's what we're finding, isn't it, Mary? As we work through the different addictions that are in play what's happening is we come closer and closer and closer. It doesn't mean there's no turmoil. The reality is Mary just spent two months living somewhere else in our relationship because she had all this fear to deal with and I found myself pandering to her fear and she found herself wanting me to pander to her fear, which stopped her from getting into her fear. So we both decided well it's better for me to work through pandering to Mary's fear and work through my fears about Mary being harmed, Mary being hurt, which is all first century stuff for me, and for Mary to work through her terror of fear itself and getting into the process where she can feel her terror. That's better to do that apart and we'll be closer if we do that than we would be if we still continue to pander to each other's fear or terror together.

And if you do that you'll get closer and closer and closer and closer and closer until you become at-one with your soulmate, which is actually a time that will happen after you're at-one with God, not before. So you become at-one with God first then at-one with your soulmate. Obviously there's a lot to learn between at-onement with God and the point of at-onement with your soulmate. It's a lot more difficult to become at-one with your soulmate than it is to become at-one with God, because God has not got any injuries. So you know if there's no at-onement occurring it's got to be your injuries. (Laughter) The problem with becoming at-one with your soulmate particularly initially is, both of you have got injuries, so how do you work out which one's the injury and which ones the pure in state? [00:47:57.26]

But when you involve God in the process, now both of you are working towards God, so you have now the option of discovering every injury within yourself, which is also going to automatically bring you towards your soulmate. And this is why we discuss this world's definition of love, because we need to know the difference between how God sees things and how the worlds sees things. The world's view is how we view things and without us recognising, "Wow, yeah I do feel love is painful, but it's not painful in my relationship. That's interesting. There's a good chance that I'm in an addiction in my relationship." There's a good chance, because if I still feel inside of me that love is painful and my relationship isn't creating any pain, then there must be some kind of conflict in there at the soul level that I'm not recognising. I've still got a false belief in me but I feel happy with it, so something's going on and it has to be going on.

The key is for me to see that and acknowledge that and then allow, pray and set your intention with the desire that you have inside of yourself, set your intention to discover what it is. If you set your intention, you generally very rapidly discover what it is and you'll grow, and if you grow there's a high likelihood your other half, whoever that is, will grow along with you. There's a high likelihood of that happening.

Participant: Thank you. This is also true of friendship - if we're in this co-dependent friendship, then hey, we're in the same place.

Exactly, we are.

Participant: And it will not help us grow there.

That's right. A co-dependent friendship is not going to help you grow; it's going to help you stay in the same place. A challenging friendship is going to help you grow. So you want challenging relationships, they'll all help you to grow if you allow yourself to work your way through it, emotionally. That's very important. [00:50:14.29]

17. Differences in learning God's view of love for reincarnated people vs. people in their first incarnation

Participant: This is probably an addiction but I still feel I've got to say what I'm feeling. Most of my life on the Natural Love Path I've tried to find a shortcut to know God's view and now that I'm passionate about the Divine Love Path and I'm still aware that I keep reverting back to the shortcut.

To the Natural Love Path?

Participant: Yeah.

By the way I don't feel the Natural Love Path is a shortcut, do you?

Participant: No. It's actually hard to say what I'm trying to say.

Fire away.

Participant: What's the difference between us not being able to stay and work through our addictions on the Divine Love Path and you being able to so elegantly stand up there and know it so well? Is there something different between us and you? You're growing in love and helping us, but we don't seem to be growing as fast?

There is a large difference. I'm remembering it; you're having to learn it for the first time.

Participant: Thank you.

So learning it for the first time is different than remembering. Learning it for the first time has a lot of problems associated with it. You see this view inside of myself and the others of the fourteen, is actually the view that we have lived with for two thousand years. So it's pretty firmly cemented in us and all we've got to be is open to, connecting to, that view, open to the concept and deal with any of the terrors that we have of opening to that concept. Part one of which is opening to our own identity and everything else and if we're willing to deal with those terrors, then all of God's view will flood into us. That's how it feels for both Mary and me. It just floods in and the others of the fourteen, once they go through their terror, which is the primary thing that one of the fourteen has to do to go through, terror, and every one of the fourteen was tortured to death, so we've got quite a lot of terror. Once we go through the terror, then this sort of viewpoint just floods to us and it's like, "Oh yeah that's right, oh yeah that's right, oh yeah that's right," and it's all there automatically inside, without having it to enter us. [00:52:29.20]

Participant: Did you have to feel before you got the memory or did the memory come first?

No, feel before the memory. We had to feel our terrors; we had to go through our terror. When I was in my first time discovering I was going through the same process as you're going through now. My life in the first century and Mary's life in the first century that was our first time discovering these truths. Now the first time discovering took me thirty one years to get from the sixth sphere to the eighth sphere. Thirty one years in my first time discovering on earth. There was a lot of opposition obviously around as well, it was a very different environment to the environment we have now and so forth, but it took a long time to make the transition of those two dimensions.

17.1. Learning through the heart rather than intellectually

There's a good reason for that and that is, the first time you're learning everything from scratch and you're not learning it intellectually, and we're so used to learning it intellectually. You know you go to school, where do you get taught at school? It's all what goes in the head. How do you learn your times tables? It's all in the head. Why is it there are some people like who have autism, who have never been to school and learnt their times tables and yet they can give you pi to fifty decimal places; they can work all this mathematics out, why is that? And yet I had to go, one times one is one, one times two is two, one times three is three, and I had to go through to my twelve times tables and that's the way I learnt.

But the trouble is today, the majority of us have learnt this way. The majority of us have learnt in the head in our mind and so what we've learnt to do intellectually, which is not the same as learning in the heart. It's like we've got to throw out all the old way of learning, which is actually natural, and which we beat out of children, or particularly those of us who are a bit older; we literally had it beaten out of us at school. But we have to throw all of that old way of learning out and then learn this new way. Now that's pretty hard. [00:55:03.03]

It's so hard because we've grown up with all of this world's view of everything; not just the worlds' view of love, but the world's view of absolutely everything including the world's view of learning and what is the appropriate way to learn. And so we've grown up in this system where we've got all these different ways of learning that have been shoved down our throat, basically, or put into our mind, and now we've got to throw away this way of learning and learn the way God desired for us to learn, which in itself has huge emotional impact upon our environment, because everyone says, "What, are you a nut or what? That doesn't make any sense to me, I don't get that." And it goes right the way through to wanting to attack you because you're doing it. So we get all of this pressure, there's so much that has to be undone and this is the problem with learning all of these things for the first time. We're having to undo the bad learning, we're having then to be open to the new way of learning and then we have to learn it and that is an effort. It is an effort, and you going to struggle through that effort.

Now in the spirit world it's a little easier but to be frank not very much easier than that. I've talked to many spirits in the spirit world who have spent thousands of years still trying to learn the Divine Love Path but still never got it, because they want to hold on to the intellect. There's been a group of spirits who've been hanging around us for nearly five or six years, who are sixth sphere spirits, they're in the sixth dimension of the spirit world. Almost every opportunity they get they come to channel through somebody to talk to me and they open the conversation with, "We would like to ask you a few questions," it always starts like that, "We would like to ask you a few questions about how to progress on the Divine Love Path." That's how it starts and we finish up having a one hour conversation or so and in the end I know they're going to go away and try to understand with their mind what they just heard, because they're just finding it really hard to give up the learned process. [00:57:16.22]

Participant: That's what I'm going through. It's just so difficult and I sometimes I feel for you. Is there somebody else in the world that's teaching what you're teaching? I've learned that if there are more people doing the same thing, then more people can learn the same thing, but it seems like that you're the only one that's teaching this.

Well the reality is that every one of the fourteen has this (Gods' view of love) in their soul, so they could engage the process of teaching it. However they have all of their fears associated with doing so, including their fear of their own identity and having to face up to their own past which is very, very confronting. So until they do that, there will be just myself teaching it and then once one of the others do it, and so forth, and then there will be a group teaching it, but you can't expect that to happen without the free will of those individuals being involved.

17.2. Earth changes do not affect progression on the Divine Love Path

Participant: Which leads me to my last question, thanks, AJ. After the Earth shift is there a change in opportunity in our progression on the Divine Love Path, because something has happened to mother earth that affects our minds or is it just the same thing, all over, no change?

No. Any Earth changes that occur are an effect, not a cause. The cause is this differential between the amount of fear that's on the Earth and the amount of love that God is now pushing through the universe. The discrepancy between those two points creates opposition between truth and error and the Earth is going to work out that opposition between truth and error. The earth itself will go through the fractures as a result of this opposition between the love that's hitting it and the amount of fear and terror and untruth that's on the Earth itself. [00:59:29.10]

Now it is an opportunity but the reality is it could be an opportunity in a negative direction, it just depends on the choice that collectively mankind makes. Now, our personal goal is to help mankind make a loving choice, but we don't have control over mankind's choice, so mankind can make an unloving choice if they wish, it's up to them. And there are many spirits in the spirit world who are rubbing their hands together with glee waiting for Earth changes so they can actually create more terror. Many of you are terrified of the potential of Earth changes, so much so that you don't even want to know that they're going to happen, because you're worried about anarchy. And you see movies like "The Road" and other similar types of movies that portray an anarchy-based world, and a lot of these horror movies as well, such as "28 Days Later" and "28 Weeks Later", and all of those films where everything just goes crazy, and we have lots of amounts of fear about all of that, and that is also a potential. The potential is that mankind can take that road as well. I personally don't feel that's the potential. Mary's not thoroughly convinced at this point that that's not the potential.

Mary: I feel there's a great loving potential as God always creates but I...

But the reality is that you also have an emotion in you, at the moment, of hopelessness about the world's condition.

Mary: Yes, and also a sense that people are waiting for a change from outside of them to take an opportunity, which is already among us right now, and unless we take it when the change comes from outside of us it's... but that's my emotion.

No it's very true. What Mary's saying is that many are waiting for Earth changes to cause change instead of realising the basic fundamental truth that all of us must realise and that is this; nothing will change unless I change. That's the fundamental truth; nothing will change, external in my environment, unless I desire to change. And what we often talk about, Mary and I, is how to encourage the desire in people to change rather than waiting for specific events that will cause the change, because that's really just a very powerless place to do that, and remember that powerless is not love.

So I feel quite strongly that there are opportunities coming upon us to deal with things and the opportunities are not because of Earth changes, they are specifically because God is putting more and more of Her Love through the universe, which comes out of these black holes in the universe, and through the system and we have an opportunity to respond to that love and change, or to oppose it, that's the choice.

Now the problem that we face in the world is that most of the world opposes it, and so for us to accept it, we're going to finish up being opposed by the world. It does make it difficult because not only do we have to change ourself but now we're having all this opposition from an external force, trying to keep us back into the little tub that we're in, the prison that we're in. And that's the struggle we have, we've got lots of forces trying to keep us in the prison that we were in, and then we've got God's Love helping us to evolve into love and get out of the prison that we're in, and we have the choice to follow either direction. But the fear in us, which we have yet to release, dictates that we follow the world's view and this is why I say that without feeling the terror and fear within you, you are never going to accept God's view, because the fear within us is going to dictate to us to follow the world's view, which is a fear-based view. And until we sort that out and allow ourselves to feel that terror and work our way through it, we are not going to feel God's view. [01:03:50.29]

So while I'm presenting the world's definition of love and comparing that with God's view of love in these sessions, for many of us we will never accept God's view until we deal with our terror, until we deal with our fear. That's why fear is such a very important emotion to allow yourself to feel.

18. Using Natural Love Path techniques to identify soul feelings

Participant: Going back to trusting what you feel is love or not, I've been doing this thing for a couple of years where, and you can correct me if this is wrong, the premise is that on some level we can perceive our soul and to relay whatever feeling, whatever truth, whatever experience we have, to relate it through that space where we could perceive it.

Well Alexis does a child do that?

Participant: No.

And we want to become like a child.

Participant: Yeah. I did it because I feel what I found was that my mind and my eyes are often deceiving me...

I agree.

Participant: ...very easily and so I went from the idea of trying to conceptualise it into a place where I could bring it into an experience, but no it's not what a kid does.

I understand the motivation. Yep.

Participant: So I guess that's kind of the long way?

It is the long way; it is certainly a way a natural love spirit would choose to develop. It's a way that a person would choose to develop by using their intellect to tune into their emotional feelings and to feel the resonance within their soul towards a specific thing. What I'm saying though to you is once the opposition to that releases from your soul that will be an automatic process that you don't have to engage in an intellectual way. [01:06:12.10]

Participant: Yeah, I understand. I also know very much that the whole reason why I actually do it is because I'm worried that this junk's going to like...

And that's the thing; we're often doing an intellectual thing in our spirit body's mind, which is about our real brain, to skip over what's actually happening at the soul level in opposition to it. Now the key is to get what's going on in the soul as much as possible so that we don't have to skip over anything and we can just go to it, release it and then it no longer influences us anymore.

Participant: So what I'm perceiving is not necessarily my soul, but just an aspect of my spirit body?

No I feel what you're perceiving in that moment is you're making a conscious effort in your mind to feel your soul's pure intention, and then to relay that back to your mind, and then you make an intellectual decision. But what I'm saying to you is a child does not do that. A child just feels and does, in its soul. The fact that we can't is because in our soul there is darkness and if we feel and do then we'll sometimes do dark things and so we stop doing that. And instead of releasing the reason for our darkness in our soul, we work our mind to try to feel the pure part of our soul and this is very much a natural love practise that many spirits have encouraged in the spirit world for many, many thousands of years, but it's not going to help you become at-one with God in the end. [01:07:44.09]

A child does not use its intellect to determine the feelings it has in its soul

Participant: What I don't understand is how can I be able to perceive that pure part of my soul without seeing also the darkness part when I relay such a perception?

By being selective in your emotional content you can allow certain emotions to pass through your soul without allowing others, and this is where the mind starts kicking in and muddying the waters a bit, I feel. So a lot of these practices we have to undo, and they are difficult practices to undo, because we've learnt to do them for a reason, and the main reason why we've learnt to do them is because it helps us avoid any darkness in our soul, or more specifically, it helps us avoid acting upon any darkness in our soul. And so that then allows us to see there's darkness in the soul, we have confusion about how to release it so we don't bother releasing it. What we do instead is we engage this secondary process, which actually ignores the darkness in the soul, or skips over it, and just tries to access the goodness in our soul, but a child doesn't do that. So therefore it's not the way we were created to operate, it's the way we now operate because we're trying to deal with the darkness in our soul, without feeling the darkness in our soul and releasing it.

So it certainly is a practice that you can use over and over again, but is it going to bring you to God's Love? The answer is no. It will certainly bring you to natural love, certainly, and so therefore I can't dismiss it as an option, because love is better than no love. [01:09:32.26]

Participant: Well I mean I do it for things like if I'm trying to make a decision and I have absolutely no idea, I just refer to that aspect of my soul and see which one resonates best with it and do it. Is that avoiding dark consequences? Am I avoiding things or is that just the tool I use but I shouldn't use it as a tool to avoid dark emotions?

Well in the end, as I've said too many spirits, using any tool is a result of fear at some level. So there is a fear of a consequence if you don't use the tool. So remember anything that's fear-based is out of harmony with love. So obviously it's not going to bring you very quickly to a place of love, it's going to help you be loving in action, but not in the soul, which if you love in your soul you will automatically be love in action and love in words and love in speech and love in thoughts, automatically. Whereas this way you're having to fabricate a process to create the love and this is something that all of the spirits who are on the Natural Love Path do, and I've talked to many of them doing that and they're finding it very hard to give up because it's a very addictive process too, because it avoids taking dark actions.

I talked recently to a group of spirits who are in the fourth or fifth dimension and they're wanting to get to the Celestial heavens, but they weren't on the Divine Love Path, they were on the Natural Love Path, and they were trying to say to me that there's this process they're going through and that they want me to explain things in the process they were going through; they were wanting me to tell them what to do, but in a way that they already could build upon what they already knew. [01:11:30.25]

And I was saying to them, "You've got to give up what you already know in this because there's this whole aspect of the soul that you have not yet developed. You've developed your spirit body's mind and it's a pretty good mind, but you haven't developed the soul yet in terms of this other aspect." And them giving that up was very, very difficult for them and many of them did not want to do it; they left the conversation not wanting to do it. Some did it, but not all of them.

Usually it's interesting when I have conversations with spirits, sometimes with sprits in a first dimensional condition I can talk to a million or a few million of them at a time and a few million of them will change all at once, and yet when I talk to the spirits in the sixth dimension, and sometimes I've had a conversation with up to five to ten million of them at a time, very few of them have changed at the time of our conversation and it's because of this learned process that they're now being asked to give up, but it feels so attractive. [01:12:38.05]

Participant: Yeah but, as you say, it's a tiring affair.

It's tiring, yes.

Participant: It's just like managing life forever.

It is management, yes, and a child doesn't manage, a child just does and if a child is in perfect harmony with love, everything it does will be in perfect harmony with love. It doesn't have to think about it, yeah.

19. Receiving God's Love

19.1. Information in the Padgett messages about receiving God's Love

Participant: You were mentioning before, AJ, about how it is slightly easier to progress on the Divine Love Path when you're in the spirit world, and then you explained why, but when you read the Padgett Messages you read so many examples of people who didn't know about the Divine Love Path and who found out about it and fairly rapidly, without any real explanation of how they did it, all of a sudden they're receiving God's Divine Love and they're making wonderful progress. There must be a huge amount of detail on actually what they did and how they did it that was left out, because there's a huge difference between saying it's a good idea to do this and then actually explaining what.

I agree. The problem with the Padgett Messages and with any channelled material is that if the person on Earth who's channelling the material is resistive to the process, then you're not going to be able to accurately describe through them what the process is. So all you can do is describe that I went through a process and I'm now receiving Divine Love and so forth, you can't actually give the detail, because the person on Earth is blocked to the detail being received. [01:14:27.04]

And this is a problem that we have with channelling quite a lot still on Earth, is that when we are personally blocked to the information that could be transmitted to us, then it's impossible for a spirit to transmit that information to us clearly, and so most of the time a spirit in a Celestial condition, or a spirit on the Divine Love Path, will basically say, "Well it's pointless me trying to channel that material because it's all just going to get muddied in the process of channelling it. It's better for me to just talk honestly about the situation and what happened and what's happening for me now and give some faith and courage and hope to the people on Earth who are missing those qualities, than it is to muddy the waters with a lot of false information that the medium is going to finish up writing down that's not what I'm saying."

Participant: But how does that then relate to the process of us praying for and asking God to receive Divine Love? Because when you read the Padgett Messages and even it says in the prayer that whenever you ask, if you ask in a state of longing then...

Yes, can you say what is says; it says "a longing". What else does it say? Because it says quite a few words.

19.2. Soul attributes required to receive God's Love

Earnestness, aspirations, faith, and desire. These are the terms that it uses in terms of asking for Divine Love. Earnest, longing, aspiration, faith, desire. Are there any other things that come to mind when you read the Padgett Messages? It uses the word passion very frequently and humility, in humility. It talks about an awakening of the soul; some of the messages say, "The soul must have its awakening to a certain process of truth." [01:16:48.15]

Now can we see that the Padgett Messages themselves are basically talking about what I'm talking about with you? They're talking about developing these qualities within yourself. Now what I'm saying to you is this, what you've grown up with (the world's view) is what you currently have, and what we've got to develop is God's view. So what we've got to understand is God's view of humility, God's view of what earnestness is, God's view of what a longing is, God's view of what faith is, a desire is, a passion is and so forth and we've talked about many of these subjects with you already.

Receiving Divine Love requires attaining God's view of the qualities required

Now can you see that if I don't understand what they are and only intellectually think I know what it is, then I'm already out of harmony with receiving it? Also, if this is based on my soul's longings, and not my mind's longings, which are two very different things; our mind can actually think one thing while your soul is feeling a completely different thing at the same time, that's the reality of how we work. [01:18:07.19]

Now if I'm going in my mind I'm earnest, but at the same time I don't want to hear any truth about my personal emotional condition, am I earnest? This is the condition you yourself are in sometimes, Pete, where in your mind you're earnest, but in your soul you don't want to see what's unloving inside of you, so you're not earnest.

Participant: So does that make the whole process of praying for Divine Love futile?

To a degree, yes, because remember the prayer comes from your soul not from your mind. So you'd be better off praying, "Why don't I want to see myself truthfully?" That would be a better prayer than, "I want God's Love, I want God's Love," while at the same time your soul is going, "I don't want to know anything about my emotional condition." You can't have love without knowing about your emotional condition, that's the reality, and we've got to have an earnest desire to know our emotional condition, not just one that goes, "Oh yeah can you tell me something about my emotional condition? Oh yeah, that's interesting." We go away and we come back a week later and say, "Can you tell me something more about my emotional condition?" "Oh yeah, no worries that's interesting too."

But we don't actually feel it inside of ourselves; we do not really want to know then, do we? But if every single day we're in this prayer with God, "I really want to know what's inside of myself that prevents your love from entering me and I really want to know here, in my heart I want to know, I have a desire to know." And that desire, by the way, won't just be a statement anymore, because every single action I take every single day will be based around this desire, everything. My whole day will be based not around getting things done, working, whatever else, my whole day will be primarily number one will be, my desire to know what's inside of me. [01:20:12.01]

Now that is earnest. That's what earnestness is from God's point of view.

Participant: It seems astonishing for me then that anyone could ever possibly receive any Divine Love given that everyone's got so much error in their soul.

I think, Peter, you're being pretty harsh; because many of you in the audience have often been in this state of earnestness. The problem we face is that we don't feel this state of earnestness every minute of every day, and so we're only going to receive Divine Love during the times of sincere earnestness and longing. Sincere and earnest longing is the only time we're going to receive the Divine Love, and what we've got to realise is that for many of us we are quite insincere most of our days with God and only sincere for minutes at a time generally with God and with our life. Many of us are in huge addictions still, so are we being sincere with God, in our addiction? Definitely not, we need to be a lot more open with God about our addictions and sincere about our addictions.

Now when we have those feelings all the time, and they have to be feelings in our soul, we will be receiving Divine Love all of the time. The reality is, because we've grown up in the world's view of everything, it's going to be very hard initially for us to have any of these feelings. [01:21:57.03]

Receiving Divine Love requires certain soul attributes, not mind attributes

19.3. An example of a man being driven to ask questions by a spirit

Participant: So how do spirits in the spirit world actually magically transform themselves into having all those soul qualities seemingly like magic?

Well firstly can I address the spirit who's with you asking all these questions? This spirit with you has now been asking these questions of me for the last four years, exactly these questions. I've answered many of these questions time after time after time with you. That is because you have a spirit with you who doesn't believe there's such a thing as Divine Love and has never personally felt it and what they're trying to do is they're trying to intellectually understand. They want to know, but they're trying to intellectually understand the process before they engage it and that is the source of all of your questions. So that's number one. [01:22:52.21]

This spirit is with you because you've had a life of teaching the Natural Love Path for what, thirty five years?

Participant: At least twenty five.

At least twenty five and so it's very, very hard for him and yourself to give up this addiction to the Natural Love Path.

Thirdly the spirit with you, does not understand emotional earnestness. He doesn't understand it, he can only get an intellectual earnestness and intellectual desire and intellectual knowledge and he's struggling to get to the emotional questions. So when you've got all of that influence upon you, Peter, then there's also a very strong desire inside of you to understand it all intellectually rather than just engage the process of knowledge.

I have had personal discussions with you as you know for usually many months; in fact I've probably spent more time with you personally than I have with anyone else in this room in terms of their personal emotional condition, except for Mary. (Laughter) Mary's definitely had more of my time than you have, but I can't think of anybody else that's probably had more of my time than you have actually, because we've had many, many conversations, particularly in the early days. And what I've found in every conversation is that there is this spirit who is still influencing you along this line of not wanting to know your personal unloving motivations. And because there is this blindness to personal unloving motivations, that then disallows any emotions about those motivations. And as a result of that there is a desire to hang onto the world's view of love, instead of accepting God's view of love, and that then prevents the flow of love into your soul and these soul attributes are an essential part of receiving God's Love. [01:24:54.11]

And this spirit keeps on bringing up the Padgett Messages to me all the time, saying somehow that I'm conflicting with them. However I am not. The reality is the Padgett messages use all of these terms for the reception of Divine Love and every one of them it says has to come from the soul. In fact there were quite a number of messages that I actually wrote through Padgett that talk about the discrepancy between about what man thinks in his mind and what actually happens in his soul, and we use these terms over and over again, but they have to be from the soul not from the intellect. And if you can start to see that there's a pattern going on here and the pattern is that every one of these feelings is an emotional feeling that has to be real in order for God's Love to be received.

In fact they have to be real for any love to be engaged. Do you understand what I mean by that? So you can have a relationship with a partner, but if you're not earnest in the relationship, it's not love. If you don't have a longing in the relationship then it's not love. If you're not having desire and passion and sincerity in the relationship, then it's not love you're going to be feeling, it's going to be co-dependent addictions that you're in.

It's the same principle with God as it is with a partner, in the sense that if these are not coming from your heart then it's all just a figment of your mind. It's really a figment of your imagination that you're in love, because you're not. You're only in love when you feel the feelings of love flowing through you and coursing through your veins and the other person who you're with feels it strongly from you, now we have an engagement of the actual emotions that are involved. [01:26:48.16]

Now the spirit with you, Pete, doesn't want to engage the emotions and then he gives you influence to not engage yours. So what he does is he causes you to go into this line of doing things rather than feeling things. Do you see?

Participant: Is it that he doesn't want to know or that he doesn't know?

No, he thinks he wants to know. He thinks he wants to know, a bit like you in fact. And this is how the Law of Attraction works. He thinks he wants to know but he's still trying to use his mind to resolve it all and you can't discover or work through the Divine Love Path by using your mind to discover it all, you can't. That's why there are still many, many spirits in the sixth dimension who are in their mind, who have yet to discover the Divine Love Path because they're trying to use their mind to intellectualise it. [01:27:50.20]

19.4. Developing God's definition of soul attributes

You've heard of it The Urantia Book? It's two thousand pages of spirits intellectualising the physical workings of the universe, not understanding it in their soul. That's what it is. Two thousand rice paper pages of that, and the reality is any person reading it who's going to be attracted to is only going to be another person who's in their mind, because you could not be attracted to it any other way.

Participant: I read it twice.

You read it twice; yeah (laughter) and we know where you are, don't we? That's okay. The key is to recognise it. You don't need to condemn any of these things. We've got to stop our judgements. You don't need to condemn any of these things, we've just got to state them as truths. [01:28:55.19]

For many of us who have come from the Natural Love Path, we are still in the natural love way of doing things and this applies not just to you, Peter, but to the majority of our audience still. We're still in the natural love way of doing things because we've had years of learning it, and it appeals to us. It appeals to our fear and it appeals to our mind and that's why we struggle with the soul-based learning.

Now what we need to do, and the spirits who are with us need to do, is need to understand that all of these words - humility, earnestness, longing, aspiration, faith, desire, passion, awakening, and sincere - that we're now using can be used as intellectual words if we wish, but if you look at all of them they all have feelings involved and it's the engagement of feeling that's essential with love. You can't say you love when you don't feel it.

Now the world is used to saying, "I love you," without feeling any of it and in fact it gets worse than that. Our parents said they loved us while they had a stick in their hand beating us. Now that's a pretty big distortion of the feeling of love, because what is the feeling coming out of them? A lot of the times rage, anger, resentment, all sorts of emotions are coming out of them, which they are calling love while they are doing it. This is the case in your family, Pete. Your parents called a lot of things love that were not loving. [01:30:47.10]

Now as a result of that we grew up in this world's view that love is all of these different things, and we look at the words and we don't even get the words, because we've been taught that my mum used the word love, my mum used the word sincere, my dad used the word desire, and they all use the words, but the emotion coming out of them is what we learnt to associate with that word. So if the emotion coming out of them, "I love you," is the word coming out and the emotion coming out of them is this rage, what do we associate love with? Rage or fear or terror or pain; there's an automatic association. It's unavoidable.

Now instead of condemning ourselves for that, and for not understanding, and I feel to an extent this is what you do sometimes when I have these conversations with you, Pete, the key is to allow yourself to go, "Well okay, what I'm trying to do here is undo years of programming of the world's viewpoint, which my mother and father imbibed through their own life and which I imbibed as a result. And what I'm trying to do is undo this, years and years of it."

Now initially I'm not going to be very sincere about it, that's a fact. I'm going to go, "There's an addiction being met, there's another addiction you beauty, I can be in addictions on the Divine Love Path as well." And that's how we often feel that we can stay feeling similar addictions and stay in the similar process, but just go onto a different path. You can't do that with God. God sees everything, knows everything and feels everything from you. God knows what's within and God knows whether this is sincere or not, that's the truth.

So when we engage our mind, as we often do in the process of analysing the path, we are neglecting the soul, we unfortunately still believe in what the world's view is going to be the entire time, even though we're hearing different words, because unfortunately we put the same words to the things we've always believed them to be. [01:33:16.19]

And this is where a problem I have talking to many spirits on the Natural Love Path. So I start talking about God and they go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." What do you believe God to be? And then they sort of pause a bit and then when you ask them a few deeper questions, they believe that they are God. So every time I mention the word God, they're not thinking of some entity who is the law maker of the universe, they're not thinking that, they're thinking "me". There's a big difference between those two. So they're going, "Yeah I understand, I get love from God, I'm God so therefore I'm getting love from myself to myself." Do you see like I'm speaking these words that they are now interpreting through these different meanings that they've grown up with and many of them encouraged over years, and so they think I'm speaking about the same thing, but I'm not. And I have to stop sometimes and say, "Look you believe that I'm speaking the same thing that you understand but I'm not." How do you describe to somebody something when they believe that thing is something else, and they also believe they know what that thing is? It's very hard.

And this is the problem that we have when addressing some of our spirit friends who are on the Natural Love Path and also many people on Earth who are on the Natural Love Path, we're often thinking that what's been spoken of is completely different to what is. [01:34:47.11]

19.5. Developing God's way of learning through the soul

Participant: So what happened to those fortunate people in the spirit world who actually got some help and after longing and whatever, were able to receive Divine Love?

One very simple thing happened. They learnt to be like a child. The very first thing they did was undid their method of learning. Something that you have yet to do and many people in the room have yet to do, they undid their method of learning that they preferred and now accepted God's method of learning.

Participant: How did they do that?

Well it required a lot of humility. It requires a lot of giving up the mind and giving up this process that you've had for many, many years and now accepting this other process of, "What is really going on inside of me at any point in time emotionally?" Recognising it, being honest about it, and reflecting upon it. This is something you're yet to prepare to do, just as many others in the audience are yet to prepare to do.

Participant: Is that easier to do when you're a spirit?

No, not necessarily, because as I've said I've talked to many spirits in the sixth dimension, who I've had many hundreds of conversations with, and they still aren't doing it. So it's not necessarily easier, it's just that something needs to happen inside of ourselves that causes the switch between those two points. The first way of dealing with things in the mind is very fear-based so it usually indicates there is a lot of fear in the person when they're doing it; fear that they're in denial of. And I put to you that there's a lot of fear inside of you that you're in denial of that causes you to want to maintain this intellectual perspective. And for the spirits with you, there's a lot of fear in them that they're in denial of that they want to maintain the intellectual perspective. You've got to allow yourself to even see the fear, be willing to even see it, that's a part of humility. [01:36:47.00]

19.6. Developing a desire to truly see ourselves

Most of us on Earth are not willing to see. We don't want to see. We say we do because saying the words mean that we get away with a lot of things, but we can't get away with things with God. So God can feel whether we're humble or not. So the reality is if I'm not receiving Divine Love, then it has to be something to do with me, because it's definitely not something to do with God. God is perfect and God always responds to a sincere desire.

So if I'm not receiving Divine Love the only other person in the equation between God and me is me, and so it has to be something to do with me that I'm not giving up. Many times we get shown what it is every week, but we are so resistive to seeing it. God shows us, no. God shows us, no. Shows us, no. Shows us, no. A lot of times it's hundreds of times we've been shown the same law, the Law of Attraction has activated our soul, it has activated it constantly, and God is constantly through this law demonstrating the truth to us which we ignore. Ignore again, ignore again, ignore again and we continue ignoring until we really want to see and this is why I talk about looking at your face in the mirror. We do not often want to see the reflection, that's the reality. [01:38:21.17]

Now what happens with many of the people in the spirit world is their reflection is for all to see. Every single person in the spirit world looks as bad as they feel. You know if we looked as bad as we felt, it would be very positive for us generally, but the problem here on Earth is there's a time delay between how we feel and how we look, and because of that time delay we can look in the mirror and think, "Yeah everything's fine today," when everything isn't fine emotionally today. There are emotions of anger, rage, there are emotions of where I'd really like to kill that person, I'm sick of this person. There are emotions of wanting to have sex with that person who's not my partner and there are all these other murky emotions inside there that we don't want to see. And we look at the mirror and because we can see the outside face, we go everything's fine, but a spirit can't do that. A spirit looks in the mirror and sees their reflection.

Participant: And what happens then when they see that?

Well because they can see their reflection, they go, "Wow, I'm a mess," and there's a higher likelihood for them to engage a process when they can see they're a mess.

Participant: And what's the process?

You've heard it hundreds of times before, Peter, so I'm not going to describe it again. However can I say something? The spirits often have just as much self-denial as we do here on Earth. Last week I spoke to a group of women spirits who I mentioned earlier and those women spirits refused to look in the mirror. I asked them to look in a mirror and they just flat out refused and they actually got angry with me, "Why are you making us look in the mirror? We don't have to look in the mirror, we're beautiful," they kept saying. They were telling me that they're beautiful and I could feel that no, they're definitely not beautiful. So I'm asking them to look in the mirror, look in the mirror, eventually they looked in the mirror. They asked me whether it was a trick. That's how much self-denial they had about seeing themselves, and for us on Earth the reality is that's how much self-denial we have about seeing ourselves. [01:40:48.18]

And unless we can begin to see ourselves truthfully, most the time we do not have these emotions with God (humility, earnestness, longing, aspiration, faith, desire, passion, awakening, and sincere) and most the time we have no intention of acting like a child, and instead we have every intention of holding on to our current set of beliefs. Until we can see the truth of that, we cannot progress, and that's the position that you face.

You, yourself are so attracted to the truth in your heart, there's this deep attraction inside of you to the truth, but there is also the same desire at the same time as what your parents had, they wanted you to completely not see yourself. So while there's this huge desire in you for the truth, at the same time there's this huge desire inside of you not to see yourself and that's what's causing the difficulties for your own progression. And that is going to attract spirits around you in the same condition who will also feel the same way. [01:41:53.13]

And so the key is to allow yourself to see the truth of yourself no matter how bad it is and to be happy that you can see it rather than feeling like, "Now I'm a mess. I might as well go and shoot myself." Allow yourself to see it. When you allow yourself to see the truth of how you really are rather than how you want to be perceived, then you will make a lot of progress because inside of your own soul is a strong desire for truth that's driving you through all of that stuff, despite all of that pressure that your parents put upon your family is, the desire for truth is still there. You can see the desire for truth is in your sister and even your brother to a degree, the desire for truth is still present. So obviously the three of you have a strong desire for truth but at the same time it's difficult because there is a strong desire put into you by your parents as well, of not wanting to see yourself as you really are. They want you to be what they want you to be and only see that.

And this is why it's become even more difficult since the parents have passed, for you and more difficult for Jen, your sister as well, there's still this natural desire in the both of you to want to please your parents and therefore see what they see, which is actually the world's view.

Participant: Thanks very much, AJ.

My pleasure, Pete.

20. Closing Words

There's going to be another session on this subject of the world's view of love (Human Relationships - The World's Definition of Love Session 3) because I feel it's just such an important subject, to see the contrast between our view, the world's view and why there is such a contrast between those two positions. [01:44:02.29]

We have four or five other really popular world's view of love that we'd like to present, but in addition to that, what I said at the start of this discussion and at the start of the first discussion that the world thinks it knows what love is. Now we're already seeing that it thinks it knows what love is, but it doesn't really know what love is.

The world thinks it knows what love does. Now we haven't yet finished discussing the first subject of what love is, let alone yet talking about knowing what love does and then the third subject we've yet to cover that the world thinks it knows what love feels like. [01:45:21.05]

So what we would like to do in our future discussions of these subjects is to discuss more what love is and give you some more pointers of comparison, where you can compare the difference between what love is from the world's perspective and compare that with what love is from God's perspective. And we want to do the same with what love does and we want to the same with what love feels like, in our presentation about the world's definition of love.

Now hopefully after we've done that, you'll have a much stronger conception within yourself, even if it's an intellectual one, of the difference between the world's view and God's view. And we will also, through the discussion, discover a lot of the reasons why the world's view is very different to God's view as well.

Okay, so how do you feel about today? Was it good for you to feel about love? (Applause) That's good.

This subject of love as you would probably guess is Mary and my favourite subject, so our soul's favourite subject is this subject of love and a very close second is the subject of truth; a very close second actually. So those two subjects are subjects that are really dear to our heart and there are a lot of things that need to be presented about love to the world.

Now can I just say something to you though? For each of us we need to remember one thing and that is this. You can talk until you're blue in the face about love but unless you are being love, no one is going to believe you and that's really something that I'd like to leave you with to ponder about. Unless we actually be love, and the only way we can be love is getting rid of the things that stop us from being love that are inside of us emotionally, there is actually no proof of the love itself. You see we can speak of it over and over but unless there is proof of it, changing your life and actually you becoming more loving inside of yourself, others cannot be attracted. [01:50:08.19]

20.1. Growing in love attracts others to the Divine Love Path

Now if you look around at the group here that is here in our current location, for the last year around about it has not grown. Do you notice that? There have been a couple of new faces here and there, but for this group in this region it has not grown. Why do you think that is? Because we're yet to be love enough where it will attract other people to the truth, that's the reason why it's not grown.

And so that then puts a responsibility on us, of going, "Okay why aren't I being love? What addictions am I still in? What addictions am I practising still that cause me to not accept God's view of love?" Because when you do accept God's view of love and you also make the changes inside of your soul that release the negative things inside of your soul, and you actually become loving as a result, people around you will automatically be attracted to it. They won't be able to help themselves, because everyone is attracted to love pretty much, and this is something that we need to bear in mind in our own progression. Without ourselves changing and actually becoming love, the next group of people cannot be assisted, because the reality is one person can only usually assist a few hundred people at the most.

So unless there are more people in a state of love who can help others, this is how large it will be in this area until more of us get into a place where we are able to assist others through, not our words; many of us say the words but it's through the feelings coming from us, that's the thing that everyone will be attracted to. [01:52:20.17]

So if we can just bear that in mind. I'm not saying that to you to hurry up and do anything, I'm just suggesting to you that growth can only occur when the helpers are ready. Now many of you I believe are going to be helpers, but we need to get ready to provide that help and assistance. And to get ready that means we ourselves need to be in enough of a condition of love where we're not misleading groups of people, but rather helping them to get towards God and towards love, ourselves.

20.2. Difficulties in connecting in a relationship with fear

Mary: I just wanted to add about what AJ said earlier a couple of months ago, I moved out of our place and that was a really hard decision really. It was a mutual decision but I had a lot of feelings about failing and a lot of feelings of fear about what this means for us, and a bit of fear about people's expectations of us. But what I said to him at the time was, "Babe, you've brought me to water so many times but you can't make me drink. You know I need to step up and really live this and break through this big wall of terror that is ruling my life."

And I just wanted to say that I see him bring us all to water all the time, but he can't make us drink. And I suppose what I wanted to share with you is that the drinking is the best bit. The listening, as I said earlier, to these beautiful words that resonate so strongly with us, it feels magical while we're sitting here and we go, "Yes this is the truth," but even more powerful is the passion that I have for the path now that I've really started to drink. And like you were saying to someone earlier today it feels really off balance, out of kilter, everything's upside down and...

And it's good.

Mary: And it's really good. It's really good because you feel your soul growing in that place and honestly the closeness that I feel we have now is just... yeah. We were interfacing with my fear before, now there is more of a soul connection. So I just wanted to inspire you a little bit maybe in that direction because it feels so worthwhile to me.

Before with Mary and me it was feeling like, and I know this sounds really bad probably but I'll say it anyway. Have any of you seen Naked Gun, I think it's number two or number three, where they're trying to have sex with big condoms over their entire body? (Laughter) Well I just felt like Mary was sort of covered in this rubber sheath if you like. (Laughter)

Mary: Could no one please imagine that? (Laughter)

Sorry. And I'm trying to touch her heart, but the fear was like the sheath. The fear is like the block to actually touching her heart, and when we talked about it together about spending this time apart to actually help addressing some of my addictions too; my addictions to make Mary feel comfortable and so forth had to be addressed as well, and Mary's terror had to be addressed in the sense that she needed to allow herself to get into it without expecting someone to come along and rescue her from it. And now it feels a lot better like I'm not sort of touching Mary through something, and this is what fear does to us a lot you know, it causes us to put this wall around all of us so that when somebody comes to actually have some kind of interaction with us, it's like they're touching us through a wall and it's very, very difficult. [01:56:32.20]

In terms of satisfaction, if you can imagine when a mother has her baby and they put the child in a humidicrib and you've got to go in through these gloves, and you can only touch the child through gloves, and the dissatisfaction in the mother is quite powerful, because there's no embracing, there's no loving; that's what it feels like. You feel frustrated in your love.

And this is what fear does to relationships, it frustrates the relationship so much that nothing can build and grow and I feel this is why we addressed this issue with fear about the world's view of love today, because if you don't address that, at the end of the day you're left with this fear and terror as being the primary dominant motivating factor in your relationship, and particularly in your relationship with God, and that's really not going to work at the end of the day and it's certainly not going to work with our relationship with each other either.

We'd like to thank you for your patience and understanding today and we'd like to thank you too for your donations. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow for those of you who can come. Love you. (Applause)

The World's Definition of Love: Session 3, Part 1

21. Introduction

Today's session is a continuance of sessions we've been running recently about Human Relationships, where we've been comparing the World's Definition of Love with God's Definition of Love. We began with a discussion in Melbourne a few months ago on the World's Definition of Love and a fortnight ago we did session number two of the World's Definition of Love. Today is the third in a series of four about the World's Definition of Love. So it's not the final session of this group of material.

22. The world mistakenly believes that it knows love

Now the reason why we've been focussing on the World's Definition of Love is because most of the time the world believes it knows what love is and it believes it knows what love does and it believes it knows what love feels like. And by the world I mean everybody in the world, generally. [00:03:31.14]

Now logically if that was true, the world should be a completely loving place and there should be no wars, only peace, no human suffering, only kindness, compassion, understanding and everything else related to love. So while we believe we know what love is, what love does and what love feels like, it's obviously the case that we mustn't know because if we did know completely what it was then the whole world would be cured of all of the ills that are unloving.

So from a logical perspective, although the world believes that to be true, it can't be true. There has to be something else going on because if it were true the world would be a very, very different place. If this were actually true, we'd be experiencing love on a day-to-day basis in the world we'd be living in, none of us would be ever stressed out in our lives, none of us would have any fear in our lives at all. None of us would have a worry about safety, security, none of us would be concerned about war, none of us would be concerned about not having enough to eat, not having enough to drink, not having enough to wear, not knowing where you're going to live, and none of those things would be a problem because all of them would automatically be sorted out because all of us are automatically loving and so therefore nobody would ever miss out. [00:05:03.08]

There wouldn't be millions and millions of children dying every year from starvation and malnutrition if that was true, if we all knew what love is. There wouldn't be any religious turmoil, there wouldn't be any attacks or fights between different religious groups because all of them would know what love is and what love does and so therefore there wouldn't be any fighting between them. Logically you can see that if this were true the results would be very different to the results we have.

Now if the results we have are very different, in other words the results we have are very different, there are fifty million or so children dying every year from malnutrition, that's the reality. There are wars on the planet all the time, in fact some wars are bigger in terms of the amount of ordinance dropped on people, than the Second World War and that still happens today.

There is a lack of peace and security for the majority of people on the planet. When you analyse security from the perspective of having everything you need to eat, drink, clothing, shelter and so forth, even if you just treat those basic human necessities, there is a good one third of this planet that doesn't get those basic human necessities for life and forever. How could they ever then have an enjoyable life? It's not possible.

So the fact that we believe we know what love does and we believe we know what love is and we believe we know what love feels like; we have to, as a human race, start taking responsibility for the fact that we mustn't know what love does and we mustn't know what love is and we mustn't know what love feels like yet because if we did, as a human race, there would be no problems on the planet at all. We could all have differing opinions and we would all live together in peace and harmony. So we might be of a different religious faith, some might be Muslim, some might be Christian, some might be Hindu, some might be Buddhist, some might be atheist, some might be agnostic but they'd all get along in love if we knew what love is. [00:07:26.19]

And it's the same with our politics. There might be communists, socialists, democrats, republicans and so forth, all these different political parties, and they would all get along in love as well. And then we would also notice things like in a school yard, for example, all the children would get along in love and then in society as a whole all of us would get along in love if we knew what love is and what love does.

So it should be obvious to us from that analogy that we don't really know what love is and we don't really know what love does and we don't really know what love feels like because as a human race if we did, things would be very, very different on the planet than they currently are. And this is whether you put God into the equation or not; this is immaterial whether God exists or does not exist with this particular discussion in the sense that if we knew what love is we would all get along, even if some of us believed in God and some of us didn't. That's the reality too, if we understood what love was and this is why the discussion about love is so important.

23. Fear-based and love-based beliefs

23.1. Fear within our souls allows fear-based beliefs to enter us

Now remember in our last discussion the world's definition of love entered us through a process. The process was this; because of the amount of fear the world is in as a whole, most of us individually are also carrying a lot of fear as a result. Now because we're carrying a lot of fear as a result, our soul becomes open to beliefs that are fear-based, through what you can think of as vortexes in our soul.

Fear creates openings in our soul through which fear-based beliefs can enter

This fear in the soul starts entering us the moment we become attached to a human body from our environment. The world environment is in a lot of fear and our own parents generally are in a lot of fear; most of them are even in a lot of fear about having a child. You remember the very first child you had? How did that feel? For most of us it was a pretty unique situation, and we often have quite a lot of fear as a result. And it's this fear that's in us enters the child and thereby makes this child open to fear-based belief systems that come from the world or the environment in which it lives.

23.2. An example of having fear of authority

So, for example if we have one fear-based belief system, such as a fear of authority, then our fear-based belief system is that we've got to be concerned about authority, we worry about authority and how much we might get attacked by authority. And we then start applying that to the idea of a God; we will start feeling that God's like an authority on Earth where you'll get punished if you do the wrong thing and you get rewarded if you do the right thing; the carrot and the stick principle is what's normally going on for us. And so we start applying the fear-based beliefs to our relationship with God, but in particular to our human relationships; we start applying fear-based beliefs into our relationships with everyone around us.

And so then, because there's this fear in the soul, it only feels right when somebody presents us a fear-based belief. If somebody presents to us a love-based belief, we then think it's wrong and we automatically start to have a tendency of rejecting it because it's not resonant with what our internal feelings are, and that is: "No, no that's not true."

23.3. We project our fear-based beliefs onto other events in our lives

So if somebody said to us that we could go across to a war front and walk down in front of everybody shooting each other and we'd be fine, most of us would go, "Yeah I don't think so mate, that's definitely not the case. Sooner or later you're going to get caught in that." Most of us would have that feeling. And so most of us then would have a level of fear being placed in that situation, a situation where we could be potentially harmed or even killed and we have a level of fear that's based on that particular situation. [00:13:01.28]

Now that level of fear means that when I examine that situation, I am going to examine that situation through my fear, and unfortunately then apply that same fear-based examination to other situations in my life. So while for many of us the original time that fear entered us was a valid event, what we finish up doing is we start applying that fear to other events that are not as valid. Does everyone understand what I'm saying about that?

So for example, if my father left me as a child and left me alone with my mum and my siblings and I never had a father the rest of my life; if I hold onto that feeling inside of me without having a change, then what will finish up happening is if I'm a woman I'll attract men into my life but then I'll be afraid that they'll leave. I am now applying the fact that my father left when I was a child to a new situation, to a relationship. And this is where human relationships are often distorted because of all of the unhealed baggage that we carry around inside of us that then motivates us to apply the same baggage to a new situation.

Unfortunately, some of these fear-based beliefs are personal, in other words related to our childhood in particular, and some of which I would call environmental, in other words related to the environment in which we live. These fear-based beliefs have now entered us and they now start dictating to us our life. They now start manipulating the way in which we act and think and feel in our life because we haven't yet released them from our soul. And these personal belief systems relating usually to my childhood, the environmental belief systems relating to how I was brought up in the environment, what happened at school and so forth, make us open then to other fear-based belief systems entering our soul, so we become firmly convinced that certain things that are not true from God's perspective are actually true from our perspective. [00:15:44.13]

Fear-based beliefs enter us as children that we then project onto other events in our lives

23.4. An example of AJ previously believing that God is a God of wrath

To give you an example in my own life, if you had seen me around fifteen years ago, I was completely convinced at that time that God was a God of wrath. In fact I've spoken to audiences of more than five thousand people in that conviction. Now today I am completely convinced about the opposite of that. So what made me completely convinced about that being true? Well what made me completely convinced is the fear-based belief systems of the world being absorbed in my soul and that then allowed me to accept this other fear-based belief system that God is a God of wrath, a God of punishment who will punish the wicked and reward the righteous. But I worked through these fear-based belief systems.

The way it happened for me was that I went through a period in my life where everyone in my life didn't want to see me anymore but the funny thing about it is I still wanted to see them. I thought about that for a bit in terms of how that applied to God. Even my own sons didn't want to see me anymore for about a year and a half and I applied that to my own relationship with God, and felt that no matter what those other people do and no matter that they don't want to see me or not, I still wanted to see them, I still wanted to have a relationship with them. I didn't feel resentful of them, I didn't feel vindictive towards them, even though many of them were attacking me at the time. And so then I started to realise if that's how I am, then God must surely be better than that. God must be a better person or better being than I am. So if that's the case then surely God must have this feeling even if everyone on Earth doesn't want to worship God, and doesn't want to know anything about God, God must still have a feeling that He wants to know them. If that's how I am, then surely God's better.

And then I started working through the emotional reasons as to why I had come to accept this fear-based belief that God was a God of wrath, and there were quite a lot of emotions I had to let go of. One emotion was my own personal fear of torture and harm. I had to get rid of that, I had to release that and that took a lot of shaking and crying and going through an emotional process. And once I came out of the end of that, I no longer felt any more that God was a God of wrath. In fact I feel completely the opposite than I did fifteen years ago on that one subject. [00:18:31.15]

23.5. Releasing fear-based beliefs is necessary for the world to become loving

Now that being the case, that tells us that it's possible to release fear-based systems and confront them and it's also possible to actually absorb new belief systems but only when inside of our soul, inside of our emotions, inside of our feelings and inside of our thoughts, the sum total of who we are inside of our soul there must be a way to get rid of our susceptibility to fear-based belief systems and instead absorb love-based belief systems.

The reality for the whole of the human race is that unless we do this we cannot become loving. Unless we, as a human race, absorb love-based belief systems into our feelings and start rejecting fear-based belief systems in our own feelings, unless that transformation occurs, it's not going to be possible for us as humans to become more loving; to make the next step or the next leap in evolution if you like, which is instead of being warrior-like becoming peaceful, having the ability to live together in harmony, in peace and joy and love without there being constant strife, constant political, physical, war-based, national strife but also religious and other types of strife. All of those kinds of strife would all disappear.

That doesn't mean that we wouldn't be able to have a good debate with somebody about something that we disagree on, but we just wouldn't be angry about it anymore because we know how to love now. So we could discuss our differences in opinion without being upset and without feeling attacking and without resorting to personal libel and without resorting to persecution.

If you look at what mankind has done historically, mankind has even resorted to torture and abuse in order to perpetrate a different belief system. If you look at many of the religious crusades in the past, for example throughout the Dark Ages, the whole purpose was to put upon a whole group of people, a nation, a new belief system. And if they didn't accept it voluntarily, how did they have to accept it? Through violence, and that's what we've done in the past. [00:21:04.17]

Now if we loved, I'm putting to you that would never occur. It could never occur if we have learned how to love; that would never happen. You and I could have a completely different belief system and we'd be perfectly happy with each other about it. We'd even be able to still provide food for each other, we'd be able to provide shelter for each other, give each other drink if we need a drink, we'd be able to help each other build out houses even though I might be an atheist and you might be in the Pentecostal religion, and somebody else might be a Muslim and somebody else might be a Hindu; we'd all be able to cooperate together and that cooperation comes about because we've all learned how to love.

So it is very important for us to understand the problems with the world's definition of love in comparison to what love really must be because the world's definition of love has given us the world we currently have, so that tells me our definition of love needs to change; either individually initially and collectively. Once our definition of love changes and it becomes more loving, the result will be the world's definition also changing to become more loving. So we would actually finish up with a more loving environment if our own definition of love were more loving and the world's definition of love were more loving.

So what we want to do today, and what we've been doing in some of these sessions, is we've been talking about some of the world's definitions of love and then comparing it with what must be the truth about love. We're trying to apply some logic to the whole process as well but also apply some of our feelings to the entire process.

Now for those of you who haven't seen this particular series of presentations before, in the previous two series we've mentioned a whole number of definitions of love that the world has and then what we've done is we've compared that definition of love to what must be God's definition of love, or at least the definition of love we need to accept if everything's going to change. And so what I want to do is continue that today, presenting some new ideas about love, and compare what the world thinks about it to what I believe God's Truth is about love, and also what I believe will happen if we accept God's Truth about love in terms of the transformational affects that will occur on the Earth as a result.

24. Love is logical

So let's start with the world's definition of love that love is whimsical and illogical. In other words when you're in love you do crazy things that make no logical sense, that's the world's definition of love. How many songs are there about that one? Quite a number. I must disagree completely with that. My feelings are in fact the opposite and that is that love is completely logical at all times. Love always makes logical sense.

24.1. An example of turning the other cheek

Now let me give you some examples. One I wanted to give you is from the Bible actually. You have heard that it was said an eye for eye, a tooth for tooth? Now Ghandi made some comments about that. He said, "An eye for eye leaves the whole world blind," because in the end we're going to sin against another person at some point. Jesus' words are, "But I tell you do not resist an evil person, if someone strikes you on the right cheek turn to him the other cheek also." Now I did actually say that. So that's a very different viewpoint isn't it? [00:26:13.06]

Now some would say that that viewpoint's whimsical but it's not - it's actually logical. When you think about it, if you hit me and then I decided that's pretty bad so I'm going to hit you back, now both of us are hurt. And then you decide your hurt now wasn't justified so you get out your knife and you try to stab me, so I get out my bazooka and try to blow you away. You can see how things happen on the Earth and it just escalates and escalates until we now have war. That's how things happen.

Now the logical thing to do is to never start that cycle. That would be the logical thing. That would make logical sense. If somebody harms me, for me not to harm them back would be a logical choice because if I harm them back, there is a higher likelihood of them deciding now that they can harm me again and harm me in a more opposing manner.

Now it's also logical from the point of view of what I believe. Now if I believe there is an afterlife, then I'm not going to be tied up in this, "I've got to defend myself," feeling, "This life is all there is." If I believe that there is some kind of life after death then I won't be worried about having to die in this life just because somebody attacked me and I don't want to attack them back.

So I put to you love is logical with this particular desire, and that is if I treat every person how I would like to be treated and not actually how they treat me that would make much more sense. Now many of you have heard that before because that's called the Golden Rule in the Bible. In other words that we treat others how we would like to be treated and not how they actually treat us. [00:28:14.04]

During the week Mary and I were attacked quite viciously by the media. So we have hundreds of emails coming to us from people who want to kill us and rape Mary and do all these other things because of what the media presented. Now if I went then and did exactly the same as what they are doing, all I'm doing then is not logical, it's not a logical process to then attack them in return. Because if I attacked them in return there's a higher likelihood of course now that they'll attack me in return and also when you think about it, love does not attack and if love does not attack, then if I'm attacking even as a form of defence, I'm out of harmony with love.

24.2. An example of being self responsible

To me love is completely logical in all situations and circumstances. It's even logical with regard to things like self responsibility. You see if I love it makes logical sense that if I love myself that I'd want to look after myself. That makes logical sense to me. If I don't love myself, then I'll start getting invested in other people looking after me, and to me that doesn't make much logical sense because all of us have the ability generally if we are fairly sound in health to be able to look after ourselves.

Now it also makes logical sense for me to help the people who aren't sound in health to look after themselves. That also makes complete logical sense. It doesn't matter whether they are of a different nationality, they have a different colour than I have, they have a different belief system that I have, even if they're angry with me I don't see how that makes any difference. It still makes logical sense to actually care for them as much as we're able. [00:30:11.26]

24.3. An example of retaliating for a child's death

Love is logical but the world's view of love is often very illogical. So the world's view of love is this. If somebody comes along and murders your son then the best thing to do is to murder his son. That's the general viewpoint of the world. In other words an eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth, a life for a life. My son's life for your son's life, my daughter's life for your daughter's life. That's how we view it in the world generally.

Now I put to you that that's not love even if it's considered to be love. Many of these parents who lose a child in a war-based situation and then feel justified in going and attacking another child in another situation would say to you, "It's because of the love of my daughter or son that I'm doing this," and I put to you that's not the case at all because the logical thing to do wouldn't be to exacerbate the problem by going and killing somebody else. That's not the logical thing to do. The logical thing to do is to forgive the person. That would be the logical thing to do because in the end we'll end up with no sons and daughters if all of us finish up going to kill others who harm us and so forth, and we'll end up with this terrible situation. [00:31:49.16]

24.4. Emotionally distancing ourselves from unloving acts in society

Participant: I just realised that as a society we've constructed this whole legal system to carry that out for us so there's an expectation that we want them to do it for us and that makes us okay.

That's correct; we distance ourselves in society from the actual personal act. We've done this with food even - with animals and being unloving towards animals. To distance ourselves from the fact that we're being unloving towards animals, what we've done is we go and get the animals killed by an abattoir and then we get a butcher to cut it all up for us and then we get it in a nice neat package that looks nothing like the original animal that was cut up and now we are emotionally distant from the act, and we do this with government laws as well.

We are trying constantly to emotionally distance ourselves from the underlying act. So this is where you see, for example in the USA in many states, there is still capital punishment where the death penalty applies. Now that is done because of the rage of the individuals who are the victims of violence not being released, which means their sadness hasn't been released. So what they now do is they expect the government to take the reactionary state, which is to kill the person who killed my son, daughter, wife, husband and so forth, and as a result of that we have capital punishment being enacted by the government rather than by the individual. [00:33:24.27]

Mary and I watched an interesting movie last night, which was all based on this premise of justice that was called "Law Abiding Citizen". Have any of you seen that? It's a fairly violent movie. It was about a man who didn't get justice and then the lengths that he went to in order to get justice for his family. The length he was going to, to get that justice was pretty intense at the end.

And what we try to do is distance ourselves from the actual physical act and we create often a society that helps us to distance ourselves from the act. For example armies are about distancing ourselves from the act of violence. So we have certain people who are trained to go to war, but we're not all trained to go to war; we want certain people to go to war for us, and that's about distancing ourselves from the actual act of violence. If we felt the act of violence, it's highly unlikely any of us would like to go to war, and if you talk to soldiers who have been to war, most soldiers feel totally shocked and feel quite strongly that war needs to be avoided at all costs. But the average human population doesn't believe that because we've all been distanced emotionally from the process. [00:34:50.27]

25. Love is not justice

Mary: I was just feeling with love is logical issue that you're now talking about love is justice, which is another thing that we spoke about in the past.

Yeah, to me justice is not logical.

Mary: Yes sorry I was talking about the world's definition.

Yeah the world's definition that we've discussed before was that love is justice but God's definition is that love is not justice because there are many times God forgives us for things.

26. Love is logical (continued)

26.1. Our view of logic can be distorted by fear-based beliefs

Mary: I was just reflecting on how you were talking about how fear-based beliefs enter us because there's fear within us, and I feel that's because they don't challenge the fear within us, the fear-based beliefs are resonant.

That's correct.

Mary: So when a love-based belief comes along it challenges the fear and usually triggers our fear, which is why we resist it so strongly.

Very true.

Mary: I was just reflecting on the issue of logic and it seems that the world has a fear-based definition of what logic is, and that's tricky when you're talking about this subject because often when we have a love-based understanding of what's logical it's challenging the fear-based definition inside of everyone.

Yes.

26.1.1. An example of how we arrange our kitchens

We can even put it down to what happens in your kitchen. If you can look at your own actions in your day-to-day life it becomes very interesting because often we believe certain steps are logical but the reality is they are just fear-based decisions because we're afraid of challenging our mother or father's own way of doing things. If you have a look at your kitchens you might find this; we often set up our kitchen the way our mother would have set up the kitchen rather than in the most logical fashion because we've often got an emotion in play that we think it's logical but once we start analysing it, it's not that logical. [00:37:07.17]

For example, if we live in Queensland and particularly the further north we go, the hotter things are all through the year; it's pretty much warm through the year. The logical thing would be to put our stove outside, wouldn't it? That would be the logical thing for most people who live in Queensland. I wonder how many houses there are in Queensland that have the stove outside? There'd be some but I don't think there'd be that many. Just even basic things like that.

Now I'd say love of myself would mean that I wouldn't want to be working in a kitchen that's generating all this heat and I'm just sweating and having to put on an air-conditioner or a fan or whatever in order just to stay cool while I'm cooking a meal, when the reality is it could be just sitting outside and I could be cooking quite comfortably out there without having all this heat being dissipated in my home. That's just a logical thing but it's also loving. Can you see how it's loving to yourself to not put yourself in a position that creates more discomfort? That's loving, not just logical. [00:38:17.04]

Mary: Yeah and that's what I have learnt about love is that the way God created everything is very logical. There's a process for everything and it's quite scientific, even our own body, but I feel like there is this commonly held belief in society that while when you're in love you just do crazy things and it doesn't make any sense. And I feel our fear-based beliefs, rather than loving beliefs, are affecting the way we judge what's logical and what's not. I don't know if I'm being very clear, but I had a question when I started.

What was the question then, babe? Do you want to be up here with me again or sit there?

Mary: No (laughs).

27. There is no fear in real love

27.1. The world erroneously believes that love placates fear

Mary: My question was about is it fair to say that every fear-based belief that enters us and every belief that enters us about love when we're in a state of fear, is actually something that is placating our fear?

Yes, always.

Mary: So we believe love is always going to be placating our fear because we're resistive to it. So this is what creates the world's definition of love, it's all avoidance of fear.

Yes. And that's one of the things we'll go through later how the world's definition of love is that love will placate my fear, "love will make me comfortable", and God's view of love is very different to that.

Mary: And it seems to me that all of the other definitions that we've had before are all actually related to fear anyway.

And all these are too.

Mary: That's what I mean.

Yeah. So and this is something we need to bear in mind - the world's definition of love isn't really love, it's just fear masked as love. Fear with a mask on it is what it is in most cases, whereas God's definition of love, or the real love that we need to obtain whether we're involved with God or not, is very fearless. There is no fear involved in the real definition of love, none at all, and we need to see this kind of definition.

27.2. God's definition of love needs to enter our heart to change us

One of the things myself and Mary often speak about is that this new definition of love needs to enter our heart; it can't be just something we think about, it has to motivate our lives somehow, it's got to change us somehow. Because if it's just something we think about, when we get into a tough situation we'll change our mind but if it's something that's a part of our system, something that's right inside of us, no matter how tough the situation, we will still do the loving thing. We will still act in the loving way and it won't be something that changes our mind. We'll move onto that in a minute.

28. Love is logical (continued)

So this love is logical aspect is something that I feel many of us need to consider more. Can I put too many of you ladies that you often criticise the logic of your husbands or partners, and yet logic is an aspect of love. And when they're trying to present logic they're actually in a more love-based thinking than you are with fear. You see remember I've said too many of you how fear dominates many women's lives and grief dominates many men's lives? In other words most men are afraid of grief, most women are afraid of fear. Most women cry quite easily, they're not afraid of grieving so much but they're very afraid of their fears, and they get into this very locked up state. [00:42:08.00]

28.1. Logic and truth are strongly connected

Now logic is connected very strongly to truth; logic and truth are often very strongly connected. This is something we need to understand. What is Razor's theorem? Does anyone know what Razor's theorem is? Come on Luli you know what Razor's theorem is? Surely you do, it's scientific. No you don't? Have any of you heard of it? No, okay. It's a very basic premise that the simplest explanation is probably the truth and the most logical explanation is the truth. Logic and truth are very connected with each other, and we need to understand this. The most logical thing and the simplest explanation can often be the truth.

You know you've got this guy standing in front of you calling himself Jesus, he puts up with a lot of crap about it. A logical explanation might be that it's the truth. That would be simple. Now often we go into complexities, we go, "Ah, no, no surely he's crazy," or he's this or he's that or he's nuts or he's a liar or whatever else, and we want to justify all the alternatives. But sometimes the most logical, the simplest thing is the truth.

Now this is in particular the case with our day-to-day life. Often the simplest explanation is the most logical and the most logical explanation is the most loving. That's often the case.

28.2. Logic and economy are strongly connected

Also tied in with this idea of logic is economy; it is logical and loving to practise economy. Now many of you practise economy because of fear of finances. Now that's a different thing, that's not loving, but economy in its pure sense is loving. Everything God does is economical and therefore logical, and because it's logical it's also loving.

28.3. An illustration of logic and love in relationships

Now in regards to human relationships, which is our primary thing we're looking at here, can you see if I criticise the logic of another person rather than examining the logic of what they're presenting, can you see that automatically prevents me from becoming more loving? Now if you think about it in relationship between say a man and a woman - a partnership or a husband and wife relationship - if the wife is criticising the husband's logic and she's saying, "Ah, you're just being logical," as if that's a problem, then there is an aspect of love involved there where the wife doesn't understand that love is logical. [00:45:11.01]

Now if the husband, as we've already covered in the previous talk, criticises the wife for being emotional, then there is also no love there because, as we've talked about in a previous talk about love, love is always emotional because love is a feeling. It's not a thought, it's a feeling, and if love is always emotional then how can we criticise the person who's being emotional? Now it depends what emotion they're displaying of course; if it's a loving-based emotion or whether it's abuse or rage, which I would say is not the real emotion that needs to be displayed anyway.

So can we see how love is definitely logical but the world's definition of love is that love is crazy, illogical, it doesn't make any sense, you go and do crazy things all the time. The reality is that actually if we're really in a state of love, we will probably never do something crazy, ever. Now that doesn't mean that the world wouldn't think it's crazy because the world's definition of love is different, but from God's perspective or from the truth's perspective, if we do things out of harmony with logic then there's also a connection there with doing things out of harmony with love.

Participant: I'm just trying to put what you said together with what Mary said. So if the man says something that's logical and it's probably the truth, but for the woman it's going to trigger her fear so that's not going to make her feel good and therefore she's going to reject it. Is that right?

Exactly. She will definitely reject him and get angry with him. He's not looking after her anymore and he's not providing security anymore and he's not making her feel safe anymore.

Participant: Because love should make her feel good, is that right?

Well that's her feeling but remember we've also covered that. Love doesn't always make you feel good. That's again a false belief because love will always confront a fear and when we're confronting fears we don't always feel good, that's the reality. So love doesn't always make us feel good but love will in the end make us feel good once we've released the fear. In the end we'll feel good but in the interim they'll be some changes required. [00:47:56.28]

28.4. Truth, justice and judgement

Participant: In regards to the love is not logical, if you deliver a truth in an unloving way then obviously it's not really a truth. However would delivering a truth be justice?

Well your first comment, the truth is always the truth no matter how it's delivered. However, if it's delivered lovingly it will have a far more powerful effect than if it was delivered in any other way. So I would argue that if somebody is telling you the truth no matter how they're telling you, whether they're angry or upset with you or in a rage with you, or they're nice and calm and peaceful and relaxed, either way you should listen to it for your own benefit because it's the truth. But love itself would probably dictate delivering the truth in a calm and peaceful manner certainly.

Now your second part of the question was?

Participant: Is truth justice?

I don't feel so, no. If I can give you an illustration. It is just for me to state the truth about your childhood but to state the truth about your childhood I would have to know the complete truth myself about your childhood, which means I'd have to know the motivations of your mother, the motivations of your father, their underlying emotional injuries and what caused them to take the actions that they took and so forth. So while it's just for me to state the truth, maybe one of the truths is, "Elaine you were not loved when you were little", that might be a truth, and it's "just" for me to state that truth. It's also loving for me to state that truth. It's not loving for me to judge it - there's a big difference there. Now most of the time when we get involved with stating truth, we are already in a state of judgement.

28.4.1. An example of AJ wearing glasses

So, for example, I get asked lots of questions about how I can state that I'm Jesus. Now they're not normally asked as questions. The direct question is not normally asked, "How can you believe you're Jesus when you're still wearing glasses?" The statement is often made, "He's still wearing glasses, he can't be Jesus," and it's also a judgement and it betrays no knowledge as well. Whereas the question is, "How can you be wearing glasses and say that your Jesus?" that's a valid question is it not? [00:50:53.20]

I would ask how can you be Elaine and still be wearing glasses? Wouldn't that also be a valid question? If you're asking Jesus the question then surely me asking, "How can you be Elaine and still be wearing glasses?" is also a valid question. It's not a very logical question perhaps but (laughter) Elaine does wear glasses. So obviously there's a hidden judgement in the question and the judgement is Jesus would not be wearing glasses. They've already made up their minds and so it's not a question it's now a statement and it's also a judgement and therefore unloving. Now people think that it makes logical sense that Jesus should not be wearing glasses and I can certainly understand that particular train of logic but it doesn't take into account all the factors and one of those factors might be that Jesus chose to actually go through certain things. You know there are all those other factors.

So can you see that often we ask questions or make statements of truth from a point of what we believe is truth without really having a completely open mind about the subject at all? That's generally the case. And we do that because we have fear. So what is a fear of a person asking Jesus why he's still wearing glasses? You could list quite a lot of fears. If Jesus is wearing glasses then he's just a man, but I believe Jesus is God so therefore my belief is going to be confronted if I see that Jesus is just a man. So it's better for me to assume that Jesus is not a man and therefore must be perfect in his body at this point in time rather than be imperfect in any way. And all of a sudden now we have emotions that are illogical getting involved in the analysis of the question. And now what's happening is my previous belief systems, whatever they are, are now tailoring and colouring my investigation of truth.

This is where we go wrong as a human race. We colour everything based on previous belief systems that have yet to be established, and that are only beliefs that are yet to even be proven to be logical in many cases. And this is something we need to stop doing as a human race and start being far more open to everybody's beliefs and questions.

Now if I have judgement about you, I will often ask a question but really it's not a question, it's a statement of my judgement, and that is an unloving thing that I would do. It's also quite harmful to my future development because I'm already coming from the point of view that I already know and if I'm coming from the point of view that I already know, then I've already made up my mind and it's pointless asking the question. I'd be better off saying, "I've already made up my mind; this is what I feel. See you later." And if I were loving, I would do that without trying to pester the other person, I'd say, "Sorry, don't believe you, that's okay, no worries. Do you want to have a cuppa?" In other words we would still be able to be loving to the individual that you disagree with.

29. Love never abuses

Let's look at another one. The world's view of love is that love allows abuse. We see this happening over and over again with many of our friends, where their families are saying to them things to them like, "I love you so I have the right to yell at you." But yelling at you is abusive, so they don't have the right to yell at you if they love you. In fact if they loved you they would not yell at you, that's the truth.

God's view of love is that love never abuses. It never abuses power, it never abuses position, it never abuses responsibility, it never abuses an individual with rage or anger or any of these other types of emotions that feel bad to be received. Love doesn't do that. Love never abuses another person and therefore love would never or rarely accept abuse.

Now I'm not saying that you might choose to accept abuse knowing that it's abuse. So in other words if somebody hits me, I'm not going to hit them back. I might decide to do what I suggested in the first century, which was to turn the other cheek; in other words if they're going to hit me again then I'll allow that to happen as well. But you wouldn't continually place yourself in a situation where you're going to get abused over and over and over and over again. [00:56:22.08]

Now many of us in human relationships have this viewpoint that love does allow abuse, and that's the problem. This is where you get the battered wives syndrome from. The guy who's hitting her is saying, "I love you. I'm jealous - that's why I love you." He's hitting her saying, "Don't you look at that man and don't you do this with this man," and so forth, and he's doing that thinking he's being loving, but he's actually jealous and therefore not loving. He is abusing and therefore not loving.

Love never abuses - that's the reality. So if a person is choosing to abuse, then they are in that moment not being loving. It's quite simple.

29.1. Love of ourselves does not allow abuse

And if we're choosing to continually allow abuse to be perpetrated upon us without removing ourselves from the situation if that's possible, then we are not being loving to ourselves either. Love would never do that. [00:57:37.01]

Participant: My question relates to God's Law of Attraction. If you're in an abusive situation that is not a long-term thing, you just let it hit you and hit you, and just to let yourself feel that.

One reason why we are in abusive situations is because we allow abuse. So one of the things we need to deal with emotionally is why am I allowing this abuse? What belief inside of me that is not loving that causes me to think that I deserve this abuse? Because the truth is that if I loved myself I would not believe that I deserve the abuse from others.

Now for many of us we're in this situation because we've yet to learn that. We think there are certain times where abuse is acceptable. For instance if abuse comes from my dad then it's acceptable because he's maybe abused me a lot of my life, maybe violently physically towards me or something like that, and then I start to believe that any time dad yells at me that's acceptable. In other words I'm now stating, through an injury that I have emotionally, that abuse is really love and that I should put up with that abuse. [00:59:06.10]

Many of your families have this viewpoint that families are allowed to yell at you. Other people aren't allowed to, but "We are because we're your family". Now I put to you if you're the family then there should be less abuse coming from the family - not more. That would be the most loving state.

So oftentimes the Law of Attraction, which is a law that God's created to help expose an emotion inside of us that's out of harmony with love, is bringing abuse to us to demonstrate to us that we have injury inside of ourselves where we do allow abuse; we have a belief system that is allowing of other people abusing us. In other words we feel like we deserve it without us correcting it. My suggestion is that if abuse has been a part of your life in the past or currently, the best thing we can do is to firstly deal with the issue of why we allow it, and I don't mean that you fight back against it, I mean why don't you leave the situation rather than stay in the situation and continually allow it to happen. We've got to look at the emotional reason why we do that.

Now for some people it's because they feel safe in the relationship financially and so they stay allowing abuse to occur. For some people it's because they feel good about their relationship sexually and so then they allow the abuse to occur in ways other than sexually, and we need to look at our tradeoffs that we have on this matter. [01:00:47.20]

Love would never allow abuse is the truth, in the sense that we may get abused due to the Law of Attraction bringing us an event that causes our own personal abuse, but we would never continually place ourselves in the situation of getting abused over and over again without there being a major problem with our own personal definition of love.

29.2. False beliefs that abuse is acceptable enter us as children

Participant: It's interesting because we were having a conversation coming in the car today about abuse from parents, and I was just sitting there reflecting on being tiny and having the realisation that you had no choice but to find a way to stay in that relationship and bury the abuse.

Yes, and this is the problem that we face as children - if we receive any kind of abuse as a child, whether that be sexual or physical in nature or emotional in nature, we are going to begin to accept that kind of treatment from other people automatically, and one of the reasons why is because we were taught as a child that we couldn't get out of the situation. And unfortunately for many of us when we get abused as adults, we have this belief system that we can't get out of the situation, because it comes from our childhood, when the reality is we are now adults and we live in a relatively safe society and generally we can get out of the situation. But we just don't have that belief system inside of us because the fear-based belief system which was perpetrated against us as a young child has now entered us and it now becomes part of our belief system. [01:02:34.25]

Participant: We set up a whole lot of really complex shutters. In fact I know that's a really deep problem with my emotional processing, the complete setting of the shutters is so enormous.

Yes one of those main shutters that we've set up is the belief that "my mother or father smacked me but that wasn't abuse". That's a major shutter that we shut off. So remember our soul has got this opening if you like towards a heap of false beliefs, one of those false beliefs is that abuse is acceptable where we will allow it, we will allow the abuse to occur.

If we were abused as children we have a false belief that abuse is acceptable in our soul that allows further abuse

Once that belief enters our soul now, we are walking around and our emotion is actually being projected out to everyone in the world saying, "You can abuse me, you can abuse me and I'll accept it." That's what we're really saying at a soul level. It doesn't matter what you act like because many times we get angry when somebody abuses us, but our soul at the same time is saying, "No you can do it, you're allowed to," because we need to release the belief that entered us as a child. In other words it comes from the belief that it's okay for mummy to smack me, I will stay in the relationship, it's okay for daddy to smack me, I will stay in the relationship, and those underlying belief systems have to leave us before the new belief, which is love is never abusive, will actually enter us.

So this is where we're now confronting our family. We're now confronting our family's acceptance of a belief system. Many families have this belief that it's okay to yell at your children, and pretty much all of us have done it at some point, so we all think it's okay otherwise we wouldn't have done it.

Participant: The whole of society is set up that way.

Yeah.

Participant: It's interesting because the shutter almost says on one side I can't bear the truth of this situation and on the other side of the shutter it says please do this to me.

That's correct and because we do not want to accept the logic behind love, we often then tell ourselves very illogical things about what love is. So for example this demonstrates, and I've mentioned this before, the illogical thing about abuse as a child. [01:05:19.10]

29.3. An illustration of different terms used for physical abuse of children and adults

When we become an adult and somebody comes up and hits us, we call that assault, the police desire us to charge the person with a criminal offence and that person can potentially, depending on the seriousness of the offence, be jailed for that assault. That's what we call it when we're an adult. But when they're a child and they get a belting, we don't call it assault. We call that discipline. Now is that logical? As an adult we're calling it assault, but as a child we're calling it discipline. Is that logical? Now to me that makes no logical sense at all. Let's call it the same; so if somebody comes and punches you in the nose as an adult let's call that discipline too, or do the opposite whereby if somebody smacks their child and beats their child then let's call that assault.

We've got to do one or the other for it to be logical but what we do is we make all these compromises because we cannot face emotionally the fact that our parents assaulted us. Most of us can't face that emotionally, and so as a society we don't want to face that emotionally. Yet we're perfectly emotionally capable of facing the fact that when somebody comes along and smacks me on the nose as an adult, everyone in society accepts that as assault. Now that tells me there are some major problems with our society with regard to what we accept as assault. Either the punch in the nose as an adult is discipline or the child got assaulted, one of the two happened and we need to look at either one.

Now that's not a judgement. I'm not judging the parent for the reason why they've done it or anything like that, I'm just stating a fact and that is that if one is called assault, the other should also be called assault. If one is called discipline, then why isn't the other one called discipline?

Participant: Hi. I just want to know doesn't a parent's intent when they discipline their child physically matter as well?

I agree but one of the talks that I've given about parental discipline is, often parents don't understand the underlying reason why something happens with the child. You see one of the basic problems that we have on the planet is we believe the child has its own little independent emotional system going on but the reality is that most children are actually reflecting the denied emotion of the parent. So if we investigate that more fully from a scientific perspective, and there are ways and methods to do that, we will find as a human race why children choose to take certain actions, and we will actually find that they take certain actions because of the denied emotion of the parent. [01:08:36.02]

Now to me it does not then make sense to go and smack the child for what it's only reflecting back at the parent that the parent is denying within itself. And so my feelings are we need to scientifically investigate that, which we can easily do through a process of investigation like we would any other scientific thing, and we will come to discover that particular truth as a human race. And so therefore, once we discover that truth, we would no longer desire to discipline or smack our children in particular in order to discipline or train them - we would choose other methods instead and those other methods would be less violent and more loving to the child.

Please don't feel it's a judgement because I personally have smacked my own children in the past - I've had to change on this issue as well to get to a different way of thinking. But my feelings are now that if we're smacking our child we are now perpetrating violence towards the child no matter what the underlying justification is and our child now is going to have fear enter it as a result of that particular violence, and as a result of that fear now be open to further perpetrations of violent acts towards it as a result of that openness to that fear.

So this whole idea that love allows abuse has to change on the planet because it's very opposite to a viewpoint of "if I love myself I will not continually allow a person to abuse me". I won't do that. I might do it once or twice or three times perhaps but I won't allow it continually because if I love myself I would want to remove myself from that particular situation. So love never abuses nor really allows the continual act of abuse.

30. Love always results in change or growth

How is this one - love means never having to change? How's that for one of the world's definitions of love? You see this happening a lot in relationships as well, where a person sits down with a group of friends and they say, 'She's making me pick up my clothes. I've never picked up my clothes my whole life. I've only ever done it when I've had to do the washing. So the rest of the time I leave it on the floor. I'm allowed to keep my house messy.' And we justify a heap of acts that we perform and our partner at the same time is saying, "No this isn't fair, I don't want this to happen anymore. You're not changing," and the guy's saying, "If you love me you wouldn't try to change me," which comes from a feeling of 'if you love me, you'll put up with me exactly as I am warts and all and I don't have to change anything thank you very much'. Now while that might be true on the loving side, the reality is that love always results in change or growth.

Now put it this way. Imagine if for a moment you gave birth to a child, the little child's there sitting in your arms and it's a new born babe, or two or three months old perhaps, and then eight years later your neighbour comes over and you're still holding the same child in your arms like this and it's exactly the same size as it was eight years ago. Now would you think there's a problem? (Laughter) You definitely would, wouldn't you?

And what I put to you is that it's the same with love. You see with love everything grows, everything grows and becomes more, not less. It becomes more beautiful, more involved, more passionate, more understanding, more kind and considerate and it also becomes more in terms of size like that's the reality with love; if you nurture it, it grows.

Now if love grows, then it makes logical sense that that means you're going to have to change because growth is change. So every time we argue that we shouldn't have to change, can you see we're automatically out of harmony with love? And can you see how this is one of the problems with human relationships; how we're often complaining that the other person wants us to change when actually the change that they're wanting us to make would probably be a good one. From picking up your clothes after you've dropped them on the floor, right the way through to very severe things like why don't you kiss me when other people are around, for example. Obviously there's a fear involved there and if we grow we would change. [01:14:29.19]

Now I'm not suggesting that you force yourself into change without changing your feelings about the matter. I'm not suggesting that. But what I am suggesting is if your true feelings were that you want to grow in love, you would not resist change. So all of you who believe and all of the people in the world who believe that a relationship should not change, we've automatically got a problem because the relationship would change if I and my partner were growing in love. It would automatically change; it has to because love results in growth and therefore change.

So my suggestion is to have a think about that one with regard to relationships. Love always results in growth.

31. Fear originates from the fear of our own emotions

Participant: I was wondering where fear entered into the human consciousness around change? Did it start at the first disobedience of humankind with the first parents or did it start with a country fearing another country about controlling them?

All fear generally begins with the fear of our own emotions, that's where most fear generally begins. As the human race walked away from God, naturally they now became dependent upon themselves. Now as a result of their fear, they became dependent on self. Now the problem with becoming dependent on self is we no longer view our environment as an environment that will fully sustain us without ourselves being dependent upon ourselves. We don't have then this viewpoint that the universe has this unlimited resource available for us and so we then have a feeling of lack enter us. And as the lack feeling enters us now, because of the lack feeling, we have fear associated with whether we're going to be able to support ourselves, have enough to eat, have enough to drink, have enough to wear and so forth, that all just starts to perpetrate itself as a cycle.

We end up getting to this point where we have so much lack in ourselves that we become addicted to a comfortable life. So what we finish up doing is we create a degree of comfort. So we work our guts out, as the saying goes, to have a comfortable life and then we defend that life to the extreme. And when I say to the extreme we'll defend it even to the point of killing somebody else as many would on the planet would kill somebody else to defend their life.

So for example if tomorrow somebody came along and squatted in your house, and you came home and all of a sudden now you've got a whole family living in your house, and when you try to ask them to move, they get out a gun and point it at you saying, "This is our house now." Now most of us would walk away from that situation enraged and also in terrible amounts of fear. What do we do now? "All of our possessions have been taken from us, all of our life has been taken from us" is the viewpoint that we would have and because of our lack we would have all of these emotions of "it's taken me all my life to get this and it's been taken from me in one event." [01:19:02.04]

Participant: Lack of love.

Yeah, so in other words I'm so afraid and because I've been dependent upon myself, I've got to go out and re-create all of this, and that causes me to go into a defence of the lack. In other words I am so afraid of ever having lack in the future that I'm now even willing to perpetrate acts of violence towards others in order to prevent myself from feeling the feeling of lack.

And it all comes from a fear of my own emotion, a fear that I'm not going to be able to create for example. I'm afraid that I am unable to create again. So in other words I'm afraid of feeling some emotions, that's all. And it's the fear of our emotion that causes most problems on the Earth if you think about it.

31.1. An example of terrorism and violence

Think about war; let's look at terrorism as an example. Why would I perpetrate an act of violence towards another? The only reason why would be because I feel something has been taken away from me. Wouldn't that be the only reason? If I feel something has been taken away from me then I would then want to take something away from somebody else. Now doesn't that come from a fear of feeling my own emotion?

Now imagine that your son or daughter was murdered by somebody. Now the only thing that would prevent you from wanting to murder somebody else's son or daughter, preferably the person who murdered yours, would be your willingness to experience your own grief. You see if you could become willing to feel your own grief, you wouldn't need to go and harm another person's family, no matter what the underlying motive. But because we're so afraid on the planet of feeling grief to that extent, we are willing to perpetrate further acts of violence towards others in order to avoid the grief. Even if that means sticking them in jail for thirty years without any hope of being released, we'd prefer that than we would helping the person become rehabilitated. Most of us on the planet don't want the rehabilitation of a murderer; we actually want the incarceration or death of the murderer, that's the real emotion that we often feel. [01:21:49.11]

So even that comes from this fear of feeling my own emotion, my inability to fully experience my own emotion and experience it.

Participant: It makes a lot of sense because with lack you can't have growth but without fear and with love then you have growth.

And you also don't have lack anymore either, that's the irony. You see lack creates many things. It creates a desire for defence; it creates a desire for attack. You know, "something's going to be taken away from me, I'm going to take it away from you first and that way will stop you taking it away from me." This whole idea in terrorism of pre-emptive strikes that the U.S. Government is now involved in is all about the fear of lack. What they've done is they've built up what they believe is a very secure, safe economy and environment for the U.S. citizens and now they're intent on protecting that from everybody else.

31.2. An example of immigration

Our whole immigration policy in Australia is all about lack. We're all worried that if we have more people coming in there'll be less to go around. Isn't that a fear of lack? Of course it is. So lack causes a lot of fear, and we're afraid of feeling the emotions of lack and that increases our fear. We've become more dependent upon ourselves, we then project more lack onto our environment and we then go into this downward spiral into really dark actions, really unloving actions because we're unwilling to stop the cycle somewhere. [01:23:32.29]

32. Fear is not real from God's perspective

Participant: So these emotions that aren't love, and aren't God's definition of love, were created by man?

Well they're created by fear, which was created by man.

Participant: Yes because fear was created by man.

Remember fear is false expectations appearing real. So in other words we've had a whole set of untruthful beliefs enter us, the first of which was when you die you're dead. That is an untruthful belief but now most of the human race believe that and so that now perpetrates a cycle of dependence on self, lack, attack on others, not able to feel our emotions, more fear and so forth and off it goes. [01:24:18.22]

Participant: So the potential for us is to make those choices, and it's lovingness from God in creating us with that ability to make a choice to step away from God or to step towards God.

Yeah you're allowed to choose anything you want because of this gift of free will we've been given, but when we use our free will in fear, we're going to degrade the condition. If we use our free will in love, not fear, then we'll improve our condition.

Now you could say the opposite of fear is truth. Truth and fear are opposites if you like.

So the more I accept the truth about the universe, not just about the world but the universe; about the soul, about how things work, everything, the more I scientifically evaluate all of this material and come to see the truth about everything, the less fear I will experience because fear is the false appearing real to me and it's fear that finishes up degrading the human race.

Participant: Yeah so I'm sort of getting more that fear is not even a real thing. I'm just getting that a bit more.

It's an emotion that we need to feel. So it is real from that perspective; it is a feeling that's inside of us where we feel quite terrified and there are very strong emotions with it. But unfortunately there's nothing to fear in God's Universe and once we understand the truth of God's Universe, we will fear nothing. To understand the truth, it has to enter us in the same place where the fear is. The fear is in us, it has to come out, and the truth has to enter us emotionally as a feeling. That's the problem that we face as a human race - we need to allow this fear to be released without acting upon it and we need to allow the truth to enter us, and now we act upon that and what the truth dictates.

32.1. An example of the fear of violence and death

So, for example, many of us do not realise how strong still within us the fear of violence is. The fear of personal violence is very strong in the human race. Now that fear of personal violence mostly exists because we're afraid that when we die we're dead and therefore there is no chance of life afterwards, we're going to lose all sense of happiness, all sense of fulfilment, and not even know ourselves anymore. Or if it's more of a religious viewpoint, a lot of the fear is, "I've been a bad person I'll go to hell anyway". So a lot of people are afraid of where they're going to end up if there is an afterlife.

Now the truth is that you have the ability to continue growing for the rest of your existence, whether you lose your physical body or not, that's the truth. But that truth has to be inside of me emotionally before it's going to change my actions. While it's just a thought, I'm still going to react to situations that are violent in a violent manner. It's only going to be when there's a relaxed feeling in me of, "I don't need to react to any violent situation, because at the end of the day I'm just going to change in terms of my dimensional existence. I'll be in another location with the ability to continue growing, so I have nothing to fear."

In fact we start learning that fear is the only thing that causes pain. Now I've described this to many of you already; how I've been through a situation myself where when I was afraid of it, I had extreme amounts of pain and then once I got through that psychological barrier of the fear itself, the pain disappeared completely and all of a sudden it felt pleasant. The thing that felt painful before actually felt pleasant just by going through that psychological barrier of fear. Fear creates the pain in our body and in our life. [01:28:53.25]

So it's very important to understand that the world's definition of love is really based around fear, and ideas of fear. And it's very important for us to understand that this is the case.

32.2. An example of drug use

Participant: Hi, how are you going? Michael's my name. I totally agree with everything I've heard you say so far and I was thinking of a more complex scenario perhaps, like drug use, where it introduces a lot of fear to a lot of people but the individual per se is not otherwise demonstrating anything but love. How do you suggest society applies their views to that?

I agree that a lot of the judgements of society about drug use and in fact a lot of the judgements in society about all sorts of things are actually based on fear; their own fears of that particular thing.

So let's look at say the use of drugs as an example. We need to look again at the reality of drugs compared to the fear-based reaction towards drugs. So the fear-based reaction that most of humanity has towards drugs is what? What would you say? They're saying don't do it, I agree, but why? [01:30:22.02]

Participant: Because it's going to be detrimental to your ability to love others.

Okay so it'll be detrimental to your physical health is one thing, your emotional wellbeing is another and potentially many people feel will cause your death. That's how most of society feels isn't it, generally?

Participant: Yeah.

So you're out of control, somebody mentioned. So there's no control and society has a huge problem with control of course. We've got to all be in control emotionally and every other way. So that's society's viewpoint.

Now if we just take away all of those viewpoints without looking at the potential of the truth about drugs, we would then be perhaps justified in saying, "Well we can take drugs, there's no problem with". But what is the truth about drugs? Now it depends on what type of drug, doesn't it?

Participant: Absolutely and it's a similar issue to corporal discipline, as you were saying earlier. It's okay for us to apply drugs in a social context but then in another context we decide no it's not.

Let's see if we can go further than that. It's okay to apply drugs in a health context. Like you can go to the doctor and buy a drug and that's okay.

Participant: Yeah, and when we really explore the issue and the physical impacts, which seems a lot of those fears tie back to, this whole notion seems to transcend the physical in that we're trying to explore a state that allows us to understand that we can continue to grow, even beyond our physical being.

I agree but I would put to you though that it would make also logical sense that the only reason why we turn to substances in order to explore is because we're afraid of exploring without the substances. I feel that one of the primary fears that we have in this society is that we're so afraid of emotion and we're so afraid of truth that the only time we'll go and discover it is if we're under some kind of influence or some kind of substance like alcohol, drugs and so forth. [01:33:04.25]

Now if we look at the issue of alcohol for example. Alcohol causes huge amounts of problem on our planet but is it alcohol that causes it or is it the suppression of emotion that occurs that causes a person to feel attracted to alcohol?

Participant: I'm inclined to agree with the latter and thus in some respects think that the social structure which promotes a mental culture of "this is okay, that's not okay because I said so" is not one that's going to reveal the truth.

Exactly and it's also not a structure that's based on love because a structure based on love allows exploration; it doesn't mean that I have to do it personally but it allows exploration as long as the results of that exploration are more loving. That's what it will do.

So let's have a look at some of the truths. Now some drugs are very dangerous, so the reality is there is a danger of death, right? What is the reason why most people take drugs? To escape or avoid. [01:34:22.16]

Participant: I would say that's part of a social stigma really because I've never really met a person who hasn't attempted to escape or avoid.

And what I'm suggesting Michael is if society as a whole didn't have this general mentality that we need to avoid our emotions and avoid our life experiences and get away from the terrible emotions we sometimes feel, then society would be less given to be wanting to take drugs. [01:34:58.14]

Participant: My view is more that it's the same drive that drives education and the desire to learn in the first place.

Yeah I don't know. I think there'd be far more factors myself than that.

Participant: To varying degrees obviously.

You see I would also argue that what happens with many drugs is there is this tendency inside of us to attach to the drug because we are trying to go for an experience that we're not normally having. Now my question would be why aren't we normally having it?

We were talking to some spirits a few weeks ago who were drug users on the Earth and they passed into the spirit world, and we talked to them about receiving love. Once they started receiving love from God, one of the comments they made was, "This is better than any drug," and my feeling is a lot of times we turn to drugs because there is a lack of love in our lives either in relationships or in our relationship with God.

Participant: My view is more that we strive to want to learn things. We actually self inflict this state of fear because our comfort zone becomes comfortable and the desire to want to learn drives us to want to make choices to explore new things. A lot of that is moving away from a physical exploration to a mental exploration so there is an increasing desire to want to explore in particular things that will increase a cognitive state, which is anything from books to taking drugs. [01:36:45.03]

To spirituality, to all sorts of things. I agree but I feel again that we are capable of doing that exploration in a society that doesn't have to take drugs in order to perform that exploration. I also feel that I don't understand why society generally punishes the taking of drugs because that creates in itself a whole sleuth of criminal activities and therefore a whole sleuth of environment and economical impacts that would not normally be created.

Participant: Similar to the corporal punishment discipline cycle that you would see in smacking a child.

32.2.1. Altering our body with drugs prevents us from absorbing truth and love

My personal view is that any time I take something that actually alters my body's state; I am actually prohibiting my body from more easily absorbing truth and love. So for that reason I personally do not take drugs of any kind, even ones prescribed by doctors generally, because I feel that it does alter the state of truth and love within the soul of the individual.

Participant: I wholeheartedly agree with your approach there because it's consistent. I really only brought up the issue because I think it's a glaringly inconsistent one in society that's promoting this psychosis.

Yes it is. There are many glaring inconsistencies in society and any inconsistency in society is illogical and therefore must be unloving, and I agree we need to examine it from a loving perspective. The problem with many debates about such matters is that there is not an acknowledgement of the inconsistencies. There's not an acknowledgement of the fact that on the one hand we're saying one thing is true and on the other hand we're saying the other thing is true, just like the earlier example I gave of smacking a child is discipline, hitting an adult is assault and there's a glaring inconsistency and therefore it's illogical and therefore it's unloving. [01:38:52.00]

Participant: Lewis is my name; sorry I didn't introduce myself before. I've had a thought recently that the use of illicit drugs in a controlled context, namely through psychiatrists or whatever so that society feels comfortable with the idea, on a small and controlled scale could perhaps give people an idea of what their mind is capable of without the drugs.

Yeah there was a man named Terence McKenna, have you heard of him? He was a scientist who's now passed from a brain tumour. He felt he received through the use of illicit psychotropic drugs many of the truths of the universe that he then defined scientifically. And I agree that he did but it wasn't because of the use of drugs, it was because the use of a drug connected him to some spirits who then could transmit to him information that he wasn't otherwise transmitting when he was in his normal state, and the reality is he could have talked to those spirits in an un-induced or un-drugged state as well as he could of in a drugged state. But because of society's problems with that and the viewpoint that that is a crazy thing to do and is often viewed as crazy, he couldn't do that and instead he went towards the psychotropic.

So my feeling with a lot of this information about drugs and so forth is that if you feel you maintain your pure state emotionally, physically, mentally and you maintain a state of desire, passion and longing and you are in a state of love, you will not need additional substances to help you with your life or the exploration of your life. I feel we often then feel attracted to substances to explore our life because of the denial of those other factors; the denial of the lack of love primarily. [01:41:23.29]

Participant: I think what illicit drugs do is give people a brief moment of escapism from those emotional barriers.

I agree but then I would say to you wouldn't it be better to have a permanent state of escapism from those barriers than a temporary one?

Participant: Well I agree which is why I've never consumed alcohol or illicit drugs.

Yes.

32.3. Differences between urgency based on fear and urgency based on love

Participant: I think I've figured out a lot of what you're saying now but time is of the essence, we're on the brink of something disastrous happening. Illicit drugs could be used safely and in a safe context to give people a brief glimpse of what their mind is capable of, and then apply your philosophies to it.

But Lewis the statement you just made was a statement of fear because you're saying time is of the essence, the reality is you have an everlasting life so time is not of the essence.

Participant: Fear can give you a sense of urgency though couldn't it?

Yeah but the problem is urgency based on fear is not love, it's based on fear, and so therefore it's based on untruth. This is what I'm trying to get across; anything that's based on fear is the world's definition of love but it's not God's definition of love. It's not the truth about love. Anything based on truth is what's going to be loving. [01:42:56.06]

So if I'm worried that the world's going to end tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, then fear is dominating my behaviour, not truth. The truth is no matter what happens with the world, I have an eternal existence and so therefore I have nothing to fear. Therefore I have an unlimited amount of time to investigate life so I don't need to do it in a hurry if I don't want to. You can but you don't have to.

Participant: Can't there be a fine line on how people perceive fear? Like fear could give you a sense of urgency, but isn't it all about perception? For example if the sense of urgency drives you towards loving acts?

But I'm saying that that's impossible. What I'm stating and I have been stating for many years now is that it's impossible to use as a justification, a fear-based explanation to become more loving.

Participant: I tend to agree on society's general definition of fear.

But you're saying if fear creates the sense of urgency then it's helpful and I'm saying if it's fear that creates the urgency then it's not helpful. If truth creates the urgency then it's helpful. Can you see the different underlying motivations?

Participant: Can't it be true to sometimes be afraid of things, isn't that natural?

No, what I'm saying is that it's not natural. Our normal state is to be afraid of nothing at all including death. That is our normal state. If truth or love creates urgency then that's fantastic.

So in other words if I notice Mary, my girl on the opposite side of the room, and I feel an instant urge to go up and give her a hug and I feel really so urgent that I'm willing to avoid my conversation with you in order to do that... [01:45:10.16]

Participant: Go right on ahead.

Then love (laughter) creates my urgency and so therefore there's always going to be a positive result, do you understand?

Participant: Wouldn't there still be in the back of your mind a little bit of fear that if you didn't do that right at that moment that she...

She might get upset with me?

Participant: Yes.

Well now fear is creating my urgency and it's not an act of love anymore.

Participant: It's all about how you perceive that fear though, isn't it?

No it's not it's about whether the fear exists or not, if the fear exists within me. In other words if I look at Mary's face and I can see yeah, she wants me to come and give her a hug right now and if I don't do it, she's going to punish me later, there's going to be no sex for a week (laughter) if that happens, if that's what I feel, now it's not love driving my action, it's my fear of no sex for a week that's driving my action. Now guys we're off topic now and I'd like to get on topic.

Participant: What I'm saying is that fear is often what drives the Law of Attraction; we're attracted to things we're afraid of to reconcile them and make them things we're no longer afraid of.

I agree with that statement perfectly. I agree that often it's the unhealed emotion in us that draws an event to us that causes us then to confront it, but we need to confront any fear-based event with truth. That's the key. So if I'm in an interaction with Mary and I'm acting out of fear because I'm afraid she might do something if I don't do it, if I don't take an action, then it's not love anymore that's driving my action it's fear and the only results can be bad. Whereas if love is driving my action, in other words it's desire, passion, longing, now love is driving my urgent action. [01:47:01.28]

32.3.1. An example of children dying of malnutrition

So for example, if we put urgent action in a world context. Fifty million children die every single year of starvation. Now to me love would dictate an urgent action would it not? Yes? Love would dictate an urgent action but what do we do? We um and ah, and are still umming and aching. It's been years and years of fifty million children dying every year of malnutrition and we're still umming and ahing because when fear drives the action, the problem is it just depends on which fear is the highest as to which one wins. Whereas when love drives the action, love is always the winner and this is the thing we need to bear in mind. The problem for the world is that we're often just trading one fear for another for another and whatever fear is the greatest is the fear that dictates my life.

So in my case with Mary let's say if I go to give her a hug but then I can feel in Mary that she actually doesn't want me to hug her at all, now fear is dictating my action, and not love dictating the action, and now I'm afraid of rejection, afraid of disapproval. What I'm saying is now I will never have a good relationship with Mary while those fears are in place. My human relationship with another person is never going to be based upon love and will never grow in that place. But as soon as my actions are based on truth and love, every single interaction has a chance for growth, and that might mean urgency I agree, truth can create urgency, but in fact I feel truth should create more urgency than fear ever would.

So the fact that fifty million children die every year should create within us an urgency to resolve this problem from a world perspective. But it hasn't because fear dominates man and everyone wants to have a slice of the pie, everyone is too afraid to take action in countries. Everyone is too afraid to have those fifty million people come to Australia. I personally would be okay with fifty million people coming to Australia if they were all children dying of malnutrition, I don't know about you and I'm sure that economically we could create a means to support them somehow, that's my feelings. Many of us have four or five children in our families and we seem to support them fine so I just feel there is a way to fix these problems. But when fear dominates, a fear of lack kicks in, and I go, "No, if we have fifty million people come here who are all in malnutrition, what are we going to do with them? Who's going to look after them?" And we start now worrying about all the details too much rather than actually acting upon love, where we now have a different result.

33. Love is never jealous

Let's move on. Let's look at this one - love is jealous. That's a pretty common belief, isn't it? All you need to do to get God's point of view here is to add a "never" - love is never jealous. This is a very confronting belief in relationships. We sometimes want to hold on to the concept that love is jealous because it means I love you; it's proof that I love you that I'm jealous. And we even see this in movies where somebody's jealous, "Ah that means he loves her because he's jealous:

Jealously comes from all sorts of emotions, but in particular it comes from the emotion of lack again, in that I will not have enough from you if I'm jealous of you spending your time with somebody else; it means that I won't have enough. Now there are lots of causes of jealousy and I won't go into them today, but what I'm saying is that love is never jealous. Love doesn't have the feeling in it that somebody else shouldn't do or shouldn't take an action just because they love you, that's the reality about love. Jealousy comes from emotions of lack and so therefore comes from emotions of fear, and of course fear is never loving.

So love is actually never jealous and if somebody is jealous they are actually afraid and if they're afraid there might be a good reason why they're afraid or no reason at all. Now when I say no reason at all, let's be more specific.

33.1. An example of discovering our partner is unfaithful to us

A person may become fearful of the relationship. So imagine you're walking down the street going to get lunch and you just decide, "I think I'll go around the corner and go to a place to buy some lunch, that I've never been to before." You turn the corner and right there over in the distance a bit you see your wife or your partner passionately kissing another man. Now what I'm saying is that love is never jealous, so if we were love we'd be able to look at that without any jealousy. Now that's a pretty challenging concept isn't it? How many of us would feel that at this point? There they are in a passionate embrace and what would be the normal response for the average person on the planet?

Participant: Rage.

Well no, you see we've got to trace the response because the normal response is fear. The rage comes from a fear. So what's the fear? I've lost her and I don't want to feel my emotions of loss, I don't want to grieve the potential of losing this relationship of the person I feel I love. And so because I'm afraid of dealing with my own emotions of loss and afraid of losing the relationship because I'm afraid of my own emotions, the next step I take is one of, many times, anger. And I can even be so angry that it becomes rageful and it can even become so enraged that it becomes resentful which is long term rage sitting inside of you.

Now firstly, if I were comfortable feeling my emotion of grief about the potential loss of the relationship, then I would never get to anger, rage or resentment in this situation for a start. But secondly, the jealous feeling that I have, which is actually anger or rage about the event that I'm observing, comes from my own fear of loss inside of myself. Whereas if I wasn't afraid of loss I'd probably just wander up to them, just tap her on the shoulder and say, "What's going on here? I thought we were in a relationship and you're now in a relationship with somebody else?" Can you see I might still love the person but I would see immediately that from a love perspective the relationship really has been terminated in that moment and if I am prepared to feel my grief, I would be able to feel my grief, if I had grief to feel, without going into the jealousy, without going into the rage. [01:56:33.14]

So the reality is that love is never really jealous if it's really love. Jealousy is caused by anger about not being able to feel your grief of loss. Therefore it's fear of the grief of loss and therefore it is not loving because it's fear-based, it's not truth-based. But love is never jealous. A person who is in love would be able to walk straight up to them in that situation, tap them on the shoulder and say, "What's happening here? Can we have a chat about it?" and be able to have the chat without becoming enraged, without even being angry. But they would be quite firm about, "Hang on a sec you're in the relationship with another person, therefore you're not in a relationship with me, therefore I think we need to separate straight away until you work out what you want."

But the world's viewpoint is that if a person can do that then it means they didn't love them in the first place. And often what happens then is we go down this track of where we even have people trying to make a person jealous in order to prove that they love them or that they have loved. And if you're trying to make somebody jealous, I put to you that that is also not loving because you're trying to make somebody else angry rather than feel their own grief about your lack of fidelity. So that's another truth about love.

The World's Definition of Love: Session 3, Part 2

34. Love is never compromise

One of the big things I find in the world today is the viewpoint that love is compromise. You see it happening all the time. You see it happening in relationships where people compromise the truth in their relationship, or they feel they have to compromise their desires and passions in particular. Now my suggestion is if your desires and passions are always harmonious with love, then why would love ever be a compromise?

So if your desires and passions were harmonious with your desire and passion to love, then it would make sense that love is no longer ever a compromise; it's always something that you just don't need to compromise at all.

And the reality is from God's perspective, love is never compromise. Well what I mean by that is that when you are in a state of love yourself, you never feel like you're having to compromise yourself or your life for somebody else. Your motivation for doing everything is based around love, and because it's based around love, it never feels like a hardship, it never feels like a struggle it always feels good, because it's always based upon love rather than having to compromise your feelings.

Now I suggest to you that if you are compromising in relationships quite frequently, then you are not loving yourself. And if you are not loving yourself, then you also are incapable of loving the person you're with, because what you're doing is you're not actually being truthful with the person you're with; you're not acting in a truthful manner.

We see this happening quite a lot in relationships where people wonder why their relationships aren't as close as they could be and oftentimes it's because one person feels they have to compromise this desire, which they usually get upset about at some point. And the other person feels they have to compromise this desire that they have which they usually get upset about at some point. And then these underlying upset states simmer, just under boiling and then a little event comes along that tips if from just under boiling into boiling over, and now we have an argument or a fight. And quite often the arguments or fights that occur in relationships have nothing to do with what you're arguing and fighting about, they are actually just the straw that broke the camel's back, as the saying goes, because we've been compromising and compromising and compromising and eventually some of the compromises get too great to withstand anymore. [00:03:37.12]

When we are in a state of love, we don't feel like anything we do is a compromise. We do it because we love and it feels like we want to, not because it feels like we have to. That is a very different state to feeling like you want to. So a good way to measure whether you're actually doing something in harmony with love or not is to determine whether you have a feeling inside of you of having to do it compared to having a feeling inside of you that you want to do it. It's a very simple test.

Every time you feel like you have to, then you're already in a state of compromising something within yourself and therefore you're not in a state of love anymore, but you are now presenting yourself not as you really are but as you're hoping to be.

34.1. Emotionally compromising is not being truthful about how we really feel

Now in any relationship we want to present ourselves as we really are, even if as we really are is angry, upset, moody and all of those kinds of things, we need to at least be honest about where we really are rather than falsifying that condition into a place that we're not really being. This is about being truthful.

So when I say compromise we're often emotionally compromising and not stating the truth about how we really feel in a relationship. Don't think this is just an intellectual compromise, I'm talking about the emotional compromises that we make on a day-to-day basis in order to maintain a relationship. When we're in this "having to" state we're in a state where we're denying the ability for the relationship to grow closer, because relationships can only grow closer when they become more truthful. Remember it's the truth that sets us free, not lies or fear. You see if we can't say the truth in a relationship about how we feel, then where can we say the truth? That's the issue we face.

So "having to" is a very untruthful state.

Now I don't mean untruthful in terms of verbally untruthful, because a lot of times we're not even saying anything when we're in this state. When we're in an untruthful state, what I mean is that we are willing to have our internal dialogue be completely different to our external dialogue or actions. So inside of myself I might have a thought of, "Gee that annoys me," but my external dialogue is, "Yeah, no worries I'll do that." That's what I mean about the disharmony between what's going on inside of myself, in other words my internal dialogue, and what's going on outside of myself, in other words what I portray to others. [00:07:22.22]

Now often we are quite untruthful in that manner, we are putting forward to the world a totally different person than what inside of ourselves we feel. And in a relationship when we do that, we automatically create a barrier between the other person and ourselves and that barrier is now like a wall between the two of us that can't be penetrated until one or both of us become more truthful with each other.

So the internal dialogue is not the same as what we portray. A lot of men do this with mother-in-laws. (Laughter) The wife says, "Oh, my mum's coming around tonight." "Ah, yeah no worries," but inside is a feeling of, "Oh God, I hope there's a footy show on or something tonight." So the internal dialogue is very different to the external dialogue, and this creates a barrier.

34.2. Our internal and external dialogue are identical when we no longer compromise

When we no longer compromise, our internal dialogue and our external dialogue are identical. Now for many of us that is a major challenge to bring those two into being identical. So we need to learn that every time our internal dialogue is not the same as what we're portraying externally, we must have a fear associated with that, a reason why we cannot present ourselves truthfully. And that is one of the major compromises we make in relationships, where our internal dialogue is not the same as what we portray. If you think about it it's one of our major compromises generally that we make in our life, at work, during our day-to-day life, but in particular with our relationships.

34.3. Relationships can never be close when we compromise our true feelings, desires and passions

Now I feel it's quite important to understand the effect of untruth on a relationship is actually cataclysmic. You cannot ever be close to another person while your internal dialogue is not the same as what's happening externally and what you're actually doing at a soul level is creating a barrier through which the other person will not be able to ever really feel your true nature. You're actually not only doing yourself a disservice but you're doing a disservice to the relationship. You're creating a situation where it's impossible for the relationship to actually grow in truth and in love. [00:10:42.09]

Now the relationship might be relatively stable, because both of us are withholding all of the things we actually feel towards the other. So externally the relationship may even look like a good relationship, but it's not going to ever be a close relationship, it's going to be a relationship that works, because it's just.

So if I withhold from Mary all of the things I don't want her to know and what she doesn't want to know, and she withholds from me all the things that she doesn't want me to know and what I don't want to know, as a result we get along. But is it the real people that are getting along? No, it's not the real Mary that I'm getting, because I don't want the real Mary, but also she doesn't want to give the real Mary. And it's not the real AJ she's getting, because I'm not giving the real AJ and I don't want her to know the real AJ as well, and she might not even want to know the real AJ.

And as a result of that, we have a relationship that can never grow and become close. Now the only way a relationship can become close is that both of us don't compromise, but we still love each other. In other words we don't get angry because the other person doesn't compromise, but they should not need to compromise on their desires and passions.

Now there are some desires and passions that are unloving. So for example if I'm in a relationship with Mary and I have a desire to be in a relationship with three other women, now that's obviously unloving to Mary and those other three women. That is now an unloving desire. I'm not suggesting you follow your unloving desires, but I am suggesting that you need to not compromise, and tell your partner them. Now that's confronting as an idea, isn't it? Your partner would know everything that's going on inside of you about your life and your internal dialogue and that's a pretty confronting idea, but you'll be surprised at the results if you practice it, particularly if both parties practice it; you'll get very, very close in terms of close knowing each other; closer than you've ever been before.

Now that doesn't mean you'll still stay together. It just means that you're now truthful and honest and close with your relationship in that you both know each other far better. [00:13:12.10]

34.4. Negotiation is all about compromise

So this whole idea of love being a compromise needs to be given up I feel. You see it a lot in negotiation. Negotiation is all about compromise. And I put to you that people who love do not need to negotiate and the reason is (you think about it) if two nations loved each other and there was a disagreement on the border of the two nations, then negotiating is not going to solve the problem. What's going to solve the problem is more love with each other and one in love is willing to give up their right of something. So therefore there is no need to negotiate. Somebody comes along and says to me, "I want your house," "Okay, no worries, you must need it more than I do. So you can have it and let's go somewhere else and we can create anywhere." It's only the feeling of lack that would create this feeling of resistance and defence and then attack and then wanting to maybe have a war about it. The whole process of war is all about when negotiation fails if you think about it. It's not about being loving to themselves or to others - love has failed.

So what I mean by negotiation specifically is where I give up this and you give up that, and I give up this and you give up that, and I give up this and you give up that, and then we get to an agreement. My question is, why don't we have an agreement already? There's already something out of harmony with love before we began for us to not agree, so let's talk about that, but not talk about giving up each one's position first; let's look at what's harmonious with love.

34.4.1. An example of border control

Now if you look at what's happening in a world view, with the Palestinian thing for example. Recently I think the US said that they're going to block the creation of the Palestinian state. So that means there are millions of people who don't have a country, who want to get a country and I'm going, why do we need a country? Why do you need Australia? We don't need a country, we're world citizens. I should be able to go anywhere in the world. I should be able to set up home anywhere in the world that I want to set up home. There shouldn't be borders. There shouldn't be visas where I have to fill out a three month visa to enter a country. I shouldn't have my fingerprints taken just to enter a country or exit a country, or a photograph taken or any of those kinds of things, aside from perhaps a safety issue maybe. When I say safety I mean so that my mum and dad and brother and sister and friends can keep track of where I am. And then I start to go, "why do they want to do that anyway, why can't we be free citizens?"

And I feel like when I see all of those things that all we're doing a lot of the times we're protecting our little patch, and then we create a government that protects our patch for us. And I've often said to Mary, the fastest way to fix some problems on the Earth would be to have a mass exodus of all of the people who are being oppressed from that particular location. [00:26:37.10]

34.4.2. An example of refugees

So for example in the Sudan there are millions of people being oppressed there, they've created refugee camps for millions of people who are oppressed. Now in Australia we've got huge amounts of space, huge amounts of potential resources. We could easily offer help by actually helping all of the people who are being oppressed, who are being shot or raped or other things happening to them, just help them all, by having ship loads or plane loads of them come over until their camp is empty. Now once the camp's empty there's nobody to rape, there's nobody to shoot. What are the people with the guns going to do? I don't know, but they're certainly not going to be able to shoot or rape those particular people anymore are they? And we could create an environment here where their life could be supported quite easily.

So I feel a lot of times what we're trying to do is negotiate because we want to hold onto a position of lack. We're trying to hold on to a position of lack and so what we do is we negotiate with that position. We'll give up something, in other words create a bit more lack for me as long as a bit more lack gets created for you at the same time, and we negotiate another position.

34.4.3. Love automatically wants to repair unloving problems

I feel that love doesn't do that. Love is loving and so therefore automatically sees the need of another person. And by the way you can automatically see the greed of another person. Do you see the difference? Love sees the need and love also sees the greed, and love doesn't compromise with greedy people. Love doesn't compromise with needy people either by the way \- love doesn't compromise at all but with greedy people it certainly doesn't accede to a greedy person and give them more. Love would never do that; love doesn't compromise those kinds of principles.

Love would see a need and want to fix it automatically. That's what love does. Love wants to repair problems that are unloving. So love would always respond to needs and love would never respond to greed, and love would not compromise on those particular issues. Love would not negotiate with a greedy person in order to help a needy person. And if you think about a lot of international politics in the world, that's exactly what they're doing. They're negotiating with greedy people; the people who use most of the resources on the planet are being asked to negotiate their position. Why do they have to be asked? They shouldn't be holding all of these resources of the planet; they should automatically want to give it when other people have less. [00:30:01.11]

34.4.4. An example of food production

So it's a bit like here in Australia, often we have very big bumper crops, sometimes with wheat for example. Sometimes those crops are so large that the world market depresses so greatly that our Australian farmers can't even sell their wheat, or have to sell it at hugely reduced prices. Now I would ask myself firstly, let's look at the issues of where we're compromising. Now what we're doing firstly is we're asking farmers to pay for food production, by paying for the goods they receive in order to produce food. Now why are we doing that? That doesn't make any sense to me. Food production and anybody who wants to be involved in it should be given the resources to do it for free, shouldn't they? Because we want food, don't we? Why would we have some kind of economic bargain in place about food?

So instead we give the farmer all of the things he needs to do his passion, which is to produce food. We give him everything he needs and help him out. Then he produces all this food and what we do with the food, because we're not worried anymore about the farmer and whether he's got enough for himself because he's got plenty because we're giving him that, what we now do is we give away his crop. Does that not sound alright to you? We give away his crop and who would we give it to anybody who needs it. So anybody who needs wheat, we give them wheat. So instead of burning our wheat as we do some years here in Australia, and overseas that does happen by the way, or it gets dumped into the sea, we give it to a country who needs it. Surely love would do that.

But love wouldn't then negotiate with greed. The greed is "I want the money for this" and me having a tantrum because I'm not getting the money I'm going to dump everything in the sea as a result. All of that effort and all of that work and all of that produce gets dumped into the sea rather than saying no to greed and saying, "No, What we're going to do is put this for free on the market and give it to the people who need it, but only to the people who need it not the people who are greedy about it." That's what love would do. So love doesn't compromise on issues of truth or love. It doesn't allow things to get out of hand like that. [00:32:56.29]

34.4.5. An example of weapon manufacture

Have you given that much consideration in the world about how it works? It's a bit like why do we have guns? Well the reality is bullets kill people when they're shot out of a gun, so why don't we just stop producing all bullets? Surely love would do that wouldn't it? Why don't we do that? Because of the greed of Western nations, that's why we don't do that. The five biggest gun runners in the world are on the Security Council of the United Nations. Did you know that? This is why we have the US selling arms to places like Afghanistan and then fifteen years later they're getting shot by their own arms. Why is all that happening? Because of the greed of an economy that needs armaments to support its economy. One third of the US economy is based on armaments.

Now is that love? It's not love, so a person who is love wouldn't compromise on those issues, they wouldn't. Just because they have the technology they can sell it, doesn't mean they would. They wouldn't compromise on those kinds of things. Why would you even produce it anyway?

All we need to do to solve a problem like in the Sudan is take away all the people who are being oppressed and no longer supply bullets to the people who are the oppressors. No longer supply any weapons at all in fact. No machetes, no knives, no bullets and if the whole world did that, there wouldn't be a need for a Peace Force in a certain country. They wouldn't even have the means to fight it. But this is the problem we face is that we are so embroiled in greed and the countries who are supplying these arms are so embroiled in greed they want to maintain or improve their lifestyle.

34.4.6. An example of the economy

Even in Australia we do this. How often do you find in Australia we talk about the desire for us to have some kind of growth economically. Now if you think about it, growth economically means that each year we're going to be in a better place than we were last year economically. Now I don't know about you but I feel in comparison to the most of Africa, we're in a pretty good place economically. Most of us eat every day; in fact I've not seen any of you not eat today. There's food out there that we're giving away today because we brought enough, more than what all of a hundred and thirty of us here need. So we're able to give it away if we wanted to, it's just that we don't. So why don't we? Because we're worried about lack, it's all about greed. [00:36:33.13]

Now love doesn't compromise on those issues either. Love doesn't say, "Ah, yeah but I can't give it away or can't do this, or I can't do that with it." Love automatically sees the need and then doesn't compromise in what it does. That's why myself and Mary do all of these things as a gift and we've got a little contribution box up there if you want to give us a gift in return, but it's not a requirement of you. And it's the same with regard to these countries. Why would we not give a country the resources that we have without requiring that it pay for it? Why would we not do that? That to me doesn't make any sense. Why can't we just give it away? There's obviously something wrong with the economy and the way the economies are structured to not be able to do this, there's something unloving in the way everything's constructed.

So this is very important I feel. We need to start looking at this emotion of comparing the emotion of having to, to that emotion of wanting to. That's what we really need to do; what do we want to do?

34.4.7. An example of refugees and border control (continued)

Participant: With regards to the Sudan, to me the loving thing would also be when the danger is removed, to allow those people and support them to go home, provide them a way home without an expectation that they do something for us.

Just stop for a moment though Elaine. What's this whole concept of home?

Participant: Yeah, sorry. Go back, if they wanted to I mean.

I feel anybody who wants to go anywhere in the world should be able to go anywhere in the world, but stop calling it home.

Participant: I just said to someone earlier wherever a roof is, that's when I'm home.

Well I say that home is the Earth that we're living on, wherever that be, and the feeling I have is that if we start calling a single location on this planet home, we are already now creating a border, we're creating a line which we don't want others to cross over. And that automatically creates borders which automatically creates friction, which automatically creates the need for negotiation, which automatically creates compromise and by now we're a long, long way away from love. [00:39:07.24]

Participant: So what you're saying is while they're somewhere else, give them the opportunity to understand that they can remove that attachment from their so called home as well?

All of us on this planet need to remove the attachment to a location. We need to start asking ourselves, are we happy? And are the people we're with the people we want to be with? That's all we need to really ask ourselves, and it doesn't matter where that is, it will be called 'home". We need to give up this idea of a whole nation being in a certain location and that is their home. I don't agree with that at all.

34.4.8. An example of fences

And the reality too is unfortunately, because we now have this homeland idea, we now create security for our homeland. And we do this here in Australia in our own backyards because many of us have bought a security system to protect our own home. So what we've done is we've created a line on the ground, we've put fences around. Isn't this fence idea interesting? How much wasted material is in fences? Huge amounts of wasted material. Huge iron ore deposits completely depleted because of a fence. Forests cut down to create fences. What does a fence do? Creates a border. What does a border do? It creates mine, yours, mine, yours, mine and so forth. It creates delineation between who the owners are. And why do I have a concept of ownership? Because I have a concept of lack, that's the only reason why I have a concept of ownership. [00:40:55.22]

Participant: And the most humorous arguments in courts to do with property are about fences.

Exactly. Why are there such things? Because we're all wanting to protect our little slice because we've all worked with the sweat of our brow to create that little slice, because it has never been given to us in the first place. Like God gave us the Earth and you know what we then did? We cut it up into slices and sold it off, rather than recognising that actually the original giver wanted us to give it to other people if we could. And we can, that's the reality too.

So the problem is that every time I talk about some of these things, everyone goes, "Yeah, now you're just talking about Utopia, it's not going to exist." And what I'm suggesting to you is that it will exist, but when our heart understands love rather than accepting the world's definition of it, that's when it will exist and that has to start with somebody, with some group of people who want to love, showing the world how to love.

So out at home, we're in the process of pulling out our fences. Now some neighbours don't want us to do that because they've got sheep or cattle or whatever and so we leave those fences intact. Other neighbours are perfectly happy with us doing that and so we've pulled out the fence along the front of our house and the fence down one side of our house adjoining another neighbour who wants to do the same thing. [00:42:41.01]

On the land that we were wanting to become a learning centre for God's Way of Love, we want to pull down all the fences, because we see fences as just a way of dividing up the land, creating barrier, creating division and eventually creating disharmony as a result of all of those creations.

And so this is all where it's hard nowadays to live a life that doesn't compromise love, you see because every time you try to live a life that doesn't compromise love, there are people around you who feel like, "What's going on? What's going on? Why are you wanting to do that?" And they start questioning what's actually happening. My feelings are that eventually everyone will question the unloving thing, eventually. At the moment people are questioning, "Is that love? I don't think that's love," when it is. Eventually we want to get to the stage where everyone's going, "That's definitely not loving and we need to try and do something about that," that's where we need to get as a society.

Okay, now they are the main things I wanted to talk about today. There might be one more actually; there's one more that's a really good one.

35. Love never lies

This is a world's definition of love - love allows white lies. Shall we define a white lie? It's the kind of lie that makes another person feel good or the kind of lie that doesn't make them feel bad. And the truth is love never lies. Not even little white ones. I find the whole concept of white lies very interesting because really a white lie is told in order to help yourself or another person avoid an emotion they do not want to feel, or you think that they don't want to feel. [00:45:21.12]

So the wife comes up, and I've used this example - "Do I look fat in this?" (Laughter) And the white lie is, "No darling, beautiful, you're looking great," even though she's put on twenty five kilograms over the last six months, she's still looking great. Instead of saying the truth, "No I think you're overweight now (laughter) and it's not good for you to be overweight and I'm a bit worried for you. What's going on for you emotionally to cause you to be so overweight?"

Now why doesn't that happen? Because the guy is scared. (Laughter) The guy's very scared about telling the truth. He's afraid of what's going to happen, and I put to you that even the creation of so called white lies is all about the level of fear we have about telling the truth and actually living the truth. And if we have fear, remember fear is not love. So fear allows white lies, fear is the creator of white lies actually. Fear is what allows it. When we fear, we're never going to get a good result, ever. There's always going to be a negative result collectively and individually from the expression of fear. And at some point humanity needs to come to accept that as a basic truth.

Now this position of love never lying, basically relates to that previous thing I was talking about, compromise, in that whenever we falsify ourselves to another person, we're actually lying to the other person, and love doesn't do that. Love presents yourself as you truly are, even to yourself but also to others, that's what love would do.

And so we would never lie and we would never believe that there is such a thing as a white lie, a lie that's done for a good purpose. You see every time I do something to help you avoid an emotion, I am not helping you. I am hindering your growth towards God; I'm hindering your growth towards love even if you don't believe in God. I'm hindering your growth towards love if I lie to you about something, that's what I'm doing and even telling a little white one. So these little white ones are often about personal appearances aren't they? Have you noticed that? Like how much weight do I have? Do I look good in this? All of those kinds of things. [00:48:40.09]

So your wife has just bought a two hundred and fifty dollar dress and it's in brown and every time she wears brown she looks terrible. But she's just bought it. What do you say? "You look terrible in brown." That's what you feel, you say it, "You look terrible in brown, why don't you buy red? You look hot in red," or something like that. So we would not lie for the purpose of cheering the other person up.

You see this happening so much you know in the movies. I suppose the movies are just a reflection of our day-to-day life. But you often see it with parents and children under stress, where the parent puts their arms around the children or gives the child a hug, "That's not going to happen. I'm not going to let that happen." Now to be frank with you, how can you even prevent something from happening in your own life, let alone the life of your child? It's pretty hard to prevent an accident occurring in your own life, let alone the life of your child. So how can you give them this reassurance? Isn't it a fear-based white lie that you're just telling them, in order to make yourself or them feel good? We need to stop all of that. If our child says, "I'm scared here," we look at the situation and go, "Yeah I can understand why you're scared there, I would be too," if the situation that they were presenting is based around some fearful events.

A young child today came up to me and said in her school there was blood still on the ground from a five or six year old son being murdered by his own father at the school grounds. Now that's pretty frightening, isn't it? If the child feels frightened about that surely you wouldn't go, "Everything's going to be alright. Don't worry about it." You wouldn't be doing that you'd be saying, "You're allowed to be frightened about that. That's a pretty scary event." And then they'd work through their fear and then their fear would leave them and eventually they wouldn't have that fear anymore if you allowed them to release it. These are the kinds of events that can feel frightening so we need to allow people to feel what they feel. [00:51:05.02]

White lies are an effort to make a person feel something different to what they actually feel, and I put to you that when you love a person, you don't do that to them. You don't try to make them feel something different to what they actually feel. You encourage them to feel what they actually feel instead.

So we could keep going on for weeks and weeks and weeks about the world's definition of love. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of different things that myself and Mary through discussion have come up with that we see the world has a definition that that's loving, the reality is that it's not. The key in your own life is to become more sensitive to what you're being told by the world as to what love is. Be more sensitive about it. Mary, do you want to say something?

36. Receiving God's definition of love into our souls

Mary: It started out as a question, but it's something that I want to maybe ask you to talk about. It's something that I feel passionate about, and that is we've done this very intellectual exercise today, which has been very logical. I can feel that lots people have responded to what we've been saying. We've talked about the world's definition of love and I think that's pretty heavily in a lot of us in a lot of different ways and we talked about God's definition of love and how that challenges those false beliefs in us.

Mary: But I want to talk about, or ask you to talk about God, because I feel like in my life now I've been so attuned to the world's definition of love, because I had parents who taught me the world's definition of love, or I grew up in an environment who taught me the world's definition of love, but what I'm experiencing now is that, yes I need to be humble to releasing the errors and recognising these things as erroneous, but there is a process of opening my heart to God which teaches me also. And I think that's why you and I can talk for hours about this because this God's definition of love is so dear to us. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, good. Can you say it better? [00:54:08.08]

I don't know. Let's have a go. What Mary's talking about is that with the more things we list about the world's definition of love being incorrect, it feels like we're gathering a list of all the things we need to learn to do and all the things we need to learn to drop.

So now we've got a list of all of these things that are all the loving things to do and on the opposite side we've got a list of all of all the unloving things to do. Now the danger for us is that we attempt to try to do the loving thing and try to not do the unloving thing, without engaging the more simple process.

The more simple process is this. Here's God and here's my soul. God has inbuilt in Her systems, all of the loving things and God's love has inbuilt in it, all the loving things.

Mary: And God loves us in all of these ways that you've been discussing today.

In all of the loving ways, God already loves us that way. Now if I can somehow have God's Love enter my soul, instead of trying to do all of the loving things, it will actually be automatic that I do all of the loving things without trying. And instead of trying to not do all of the unloving things, it will be automatic for me to not do anything unloving, because I am now in harmony with God's soul. [00:56:14.05]

We can learn God's definition of love by receiving God's Love into our soul

Now this is the difference between natural love, all the natural love paths that are on the planet, and the Divine Love Path. The difference between those two paths is very simple in that both paths becoming loving. You can be an atheist and follow the natural love path and you will become more loving. You don't even have to believe in God, you don't have to have any spiritual beliefs aside from a belief in love in order to become more loving, that's the reality. However, the simpler thing to do is to experiment with this relationship with God, and that's what Mary is getting at really.

Mary: Yeah rather than engaging this process that we've talked about with your intellect, engage it with God. And I know a lot of times we're blocked to God because of our errors in love, but I just feel so passionately that this is the rapid way to do it. We need to confront the error and that's going to be emotional if we do it from a heart space.

And my feeling is very similar to Mary's in that it is much simpler working through this relationship with God because what happens is as God's Love enters your soul, you automatically feel drawn to the more loving action and you automatically feel drawn to no longer engage in the less loving action. And you don't need anybody else to tell you what's loving and what's unloving, it's just an automatic process within yourself, because you're now joined with the loving God that created the universe, you now have the ability to determine what's loving or not inside of yourself without need to ask anybody else what's loving or what's unloving. [00:58:20.14]

36.1. Receiving God's Love opens our soul up to love-based beliefs entering

And the beauty of doing that is that it is actually a simpler process because God's Love is transforming your soul. Remember I said that the soul had openings, due to fear, that allowed fear-based beliefs to enter it? Well conversely it would also make sense that if we open our soul, which is now getting bigger because it's now more loving, to love-based beliefs, then those love-based beliefs would automatically enter it without any resistance.

Fear opens our soul to fear-based beliefs, while love opens our soul to love-based beliefs

If having fear is the way that we accept fear-based beliefs, then having love must be the way we have to accept love-based beliefs. And we're not going to be able to be in fear and attempt to accept the love-based belief because the soul in fear has a blockage to the love-based belief, and so it's not easily going to enter.

So what we'll end up having to do, if we don't change the love in our soul, is change our actions, or our words or our thoughts and it's going to mean trying and a lot of effort if we do this. And this is why many of you feel like it's a real struggle because you're noticing, "Yes I need to do that, that's not loving, this is loving. What's loving? Ah, yes that's loving." We even have to ask ourselves what's loving. "Ah, that's loving, that's right. That's right I remember that that was loving. And that wasn't very unloving but what about this situation? This seems to be a different situation, what do I do there?" And the reason why we're asking all these questions is because the love hasn't opened our soul yet so that we know automatically what's loving and what isn't loving and automatically do that, whatever that is. [01:00:40.08]

Now if we receive love from God, this has the effect of opening our soul to love-based belief systems, and so now love beliefs have the ability to enter our soul. Now once the love belief enters our soul as an emotion, you will not be able to do anything else other than the love dictates, it's quite that simple. The love will dictate an action that you just would not even want to try to avoid; in fact it would be a passionate desire to follow it.

And that really is the contrast between the world's false definition of love and our definition of love and God's definition of love, which we've learnt ourselves and begun to start to accept. The world's definition of love is fear-based; it opens us to fear-based belief systems and keeps us in a state of fear with our actions. God's system opens us up to love-based beliefs that enter our soul, so just as it's automatic to be afraid in the fear state, it's now automatic to love in the love state, in exactly the same manner. And once it's automatic to love, fear won't even be a consideration in your life again. Now once we become at-one with God, all fear ceases.

36.2. Discovering true spirituality

Now it's interesting that even the Bible says this. This is first John 4:18, for those of you who would like to write it down. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Now that is a basic truth in my opinion. The basic truth that once we're perfected in love, fear will no longer be in our soul.

So now what happens is we haven't got an opening to any fear beliefs. We no longer have an opening to fear-based beliefs because the fear that was in our soul is now been removed and now that prevents us from even having an acknowledgement of any fear-based beliefs. We see them externally but they do not enter us, inside of us, they don't dictate to us our life ever again. Now in that place any new fear belief that's presented to me cannot be accepted, because my soul is now resonating with love and so therefore only love-based beliefs can enter it; they're the only type of beliefs that can enter it now. Now once we get to that state where love is the only thing that dictates our belief systems, now we have learnt what true spirituality is. [01:04:16.25]

You see in the world today I feel there's a lot of presentation of all forms of spirituality, but what I notice consistently is there is not much emphasis on love. There's doctrine with most faiths, with most presentations there's the physical, the metaphysical, but how much of it is actually based around the emotion of love? And yet I put to you that love is the greatest thing that can enter our soul because once love enters our soul, no fear can ever reside in it again. And once we get into that state, we now no longer have this definition of love, the world's definition of love, we now have our Creator's definition of love inside of us dictating to us every single action, not because it's a dictator, but because love itself has the ability to guide every single thought, word and action that we have.

And now the love is in our soul, we are completely protected from any unloving belief. You see on the planet we have so much fear of different belief systems. We don't need to fear different belief systems at all, because it's only the loving ones that will enter us. Why would we ever need to fear again? Only the loving belief systems will ever enter us so we don't need to be afraid of what belief systems there are and whether we should follow them or not, because love would dictate everything including the acceptance of new truth.

37. The power of love

So what I'd like to encourage you to do in your own life is to allow this process of fear to come out of you, which is actually an emotional experience. It's not where you go, "Oh I no longer fear," and you intellectually work that out. You're going to have to work your way through your fears in a real sense and feel them emotionally. But as these fears exit, so as the fear gets thrown out of your soul if you like, you will end up where love is the only thing that dictates your soul's actions. It's the only thing that dictates your soul's beliefs; it's the only thing that dictates whatever happens in your life.

As a result of that, once one person enters that state, two people, three people, five people, ten people, you can see that everyone around them is going to be affected by that state. So eventually there'll be a hundred people and eventually there'll be a thousand people and eventually there'll be ten thousand people, because love is very attractive. Love is actually the most attractive force in the universe actually. Fear is actually just the creation of man and is the least attractive thing, and love, the creation of God, is the most attractive emotion you could ever have. And you think about it in your own life isn't that the case? When you're actually in love, almost the rest of your life stops doesn't it pretty much? Everything revolves around the love you feel; that's how powerful love is. Fear is not very powerful at all; it will only motivate a person if they are afraid. That's the only motivator. If they're no longer afraid, fear can't even motivate them anymore. [01:08:02.03]

So in this place, desire, passion, love is what will motivate our lives and instead of fear motivating our life, and the world's definition of love is basically fear, instead of fear motivating us, love motivates us. And when we get into that state collectively, there is a huge power that that state has of infecting every single person around us and every single process around us with love. It's such a beautiful condition that nothing can stand in its way, because love is the most powerful force in the universe that we can experience.

38. Closing Words

So hopefully that's given you a bit more of a background about the world's definition of love. The next talk we have about the world's definition of love, which will be the last talk about the subject, we'll talk more about the feelings of love and what the feelings of love are. Rather than just what love does, we're going to talk about what love feels like. So that will be our next discussion.

Hopefully you've enjoyed that today. Thank you for your time guys and we look forward to seeing you again at some point. (Applause)

Appendix: Human Relationships – The World's Definition Of Love Seminar Outline

### Introduction

The World Thinks:

It knows what Love is

It knows what Love does

It knows what Love feels like

### Comparison Of What Love Is (Session 1)

World's Viewpoint

Love is painful

Love is demanding

Love is sacrifice

Love is justice

God's Truth

Love is NEVER painful

Love is NEVER demanding

Love is NEVER sacrifice

Love is NOT justice

### Comparison Of What Love Is (Session 2)

Additional examples of what the world believes Love is

World's Viewpoint

Love allows abuse

Love is compromise

Love means never having to change

Love is jealous

Love allows "white" lies

God's Truth

Love NEVER abuses, nor allows abuse

Love NEVER compromises

Love ALWAYS results in growth

Love is NEVER jealous

Love NEVER lies, nor allows the lie

### Comparison Of What Love Does (Session 3)

Examples of what the world believes love does

World's Viewpoint

Love takes away bad feelings

Love helps us avoid our own pain

People who love me will do what I want

Lying for Love is a good thing

I will do anything for Love

Love is always personally loyal

Love means never having to say you're sorry

God's Truth

Love NEVER takes away any feelings

Love ALWAYS embraces pain

Love is loyal to God's Truth first

Love is loyal to personal truth next

Love NEVER does what is demanded

Love NEVER lies

Love requires adherence to principles

Love places its own requirements

Love is only loyal to Truth & Love itself

Love cannot be loyal to fear

Love often requires repentance or sorrow

Love always recognizes an error

Love always admits the error

### Comparison Of What Love Feels Like (Session 4)

Examples of what the world believes love feels like

World's Viewpoint

Love always feels pleasurable

Love always feels satisfying

Love feels like family

Love feels comforting

Love is preventing another's painful feelings

God's Truth

Love often 'feels bad' due to Love confronting emotional injuries within

Since Love comes with the Truth, the Truth associated with Love is often uncomfortable

Love cannot satisfy anger or rage

Love cannot satisfy fear

Love cannot satisfy addictions

Family and Love are often incompatible

Family beliefs are confronted by Love

Love often feels discomforting

Love often feels confronting

Love always tells the truth about pain

Love always allows painful feelings

Love always encourages truthful feelings

