[Geoff] Everybody...
[Ray] Got him.
Welcome to this week's Let's Play.
Uh, you are here in the middle-
[Everyone] Aww....
[Gavin laughing]
[Michael] Goddammit!
[Jack] That's what I said!
[Gavin] How does it know?!
[Michael] It knew!
[Gavin] How does it know?
[Michael] It knew! It knows every time!
[Gavin] I don't understand!
[Geoff] Hey, what's up everybody...
[Jack] Heyyy.
[Gavin] Hey Geoff.
[Geoff] Welcome to beautiful downtown Achievement City.
[Ray] Let's Play!
Uhh, as you can see, this is our latest Let's Play,
none of you have any idea what's about to happen.
[Gavin] Thanks for having us, Geoff.
[Geoff] Uhh, first off...
Something is wrong with Achievement City.
I would like you guys to figure it out, and then
we'll go from there.
[Michael] Whoa, it's a mystery?
[Geoff] It's a mystery.
[Michael] Zoinks!
[Jack] Gavin still has a house, I'm gonna burn
his house to the ground.
[Gavin] Noo!
[Geoff] No no no, don't do that!
[Jack] That's what's wrong with it!
[Geoff] Just... No, no, no!
[Geoff] Come on, it's very obvious!
[Ray] Geoff, I still don't have a bed.
[Geoff] I know Ray, I've got that taken care of.
[Michael] Fuckin'...
[Michael] Fuckin' Tower of Pimps is missing.
[Geoff] Ohhh, Michael called it! The Tower of Pimps!
[Michael] Where is my Tower, Geoff?!
[Gavin] Michael would notice because it was at his house.
[Michael] Yeah! I've been robbed!
[Geoff] The Tower of Pimps has been stolen.
[Michael makes half-hearted fearful noise]
[Laughing]
[Geoff] You guys have to find the Tower of Pimps.
[Geoff] The first person who finds the Tower of Pimps, which is hidden somewhere in this world,
brings it home and erects it, is the victor and will get to keep that Tower of Pimps 'til next week.
[Ray] Somewhere in this world,
[Ray] The whole thing... [Gavin laughs]
[Geoff] Now, in all of your houses in your chest,
in that chest is a pickaxe, a sword, and a map.
[Ray] I just have a torch there still.
[Laughing]
[Geoff] Ray I'm gonna give you...
[Geoff] Ray, there's your pork chop.
[Ray] Alright!
[Ray] I'm on the board!
[Michael] Pork chop!
[Geoff] Ray, since you don't have a bed in your house-
[Jack] I have no pork chop.
[Michael] Why does he get a pork chop?
[Geoff] Everybody's gonna get one, I'll give 'em-
[Geoff] I'll dole 'em out.
[Ray] Shut up.
[Gavin] Oh my God, the map's complete!
[Geoff] Ray, since you don't have a house, uh, there's a house over here that's slightly nicer than yours...
[Ray] Oh, it's a stunt house.
[Geoff] Yeah, that has a bed, and uh...
[Ray] What the fuck, I don't have a window though.
[Geoff] ...Inventory.
[Gavin] This map looks... Look at the world, it's wonderful!
[Ray] Alright, hey!
[Jack] Ray, you want me to make you a window?
[Geoff] Alright, now Jack, here, I'm gonna give you a
pork chop.
[Jack] Pork chop.
[Geoff] Jack, here's your pork chop. Now the only rules are, once you leave Achievement City... The Tower of
Pimps is - Michael here's yours - the Tower of Pimps is definitely not in Achievement City.
Once you leave Achievement City, you cannot come back in.
Okay? Take your beds with you, Ray, take the nice bed that doesn't belong to you.
[Ray] Yes!
[Geoff] Yeah, take the beds in your house and when everybody's ready we'll convene back here in the middle,
go in whatever direction you want.
It's got to be the Tower of Pimps. THE Tower of Pimps is stood upon one block of obsidian,
it is four blocks of gold.
If you think you have found the Tower of Pimps,
[Ray making karate sounds]
[Geoff] let me know and I will come verify whether it is indeed the Tower of Pimps or not.
[Ray continues karate sounds]
[Michael] How are we gonna let you know
without other people murdering us?
[Geoff] That's gonna be an issue.
People can kill you to get your Tower of Pimps.
[Ray karate sounds]
[Jack] Oh wait, so we have to take the Tower of Pimps...
[Michael] Ray, shut the fuck up.
[Geoff] You can do whatever you want-
[Gavin laughing] I was wondering what the hell that was.
[Geoff] ...once you leave Achievement City.
Kill each other, build... Fuckin' go mine until you have like, diamond armor, whatever you wanna do,
but the first person to put the Tower of Pimps in front of their house wins.
[Jack] Okay.
[Geoff] Okay?
That's one thing, you guys have stone pickaxes? You're gonna need an iron pickaxe...
[Jack] Okay.
[Geoff] To mine gold.
[Ray] Oh shit, I didn't even notice.
[Michael] So why the hell do we need you
if we think we've found it?
[Geoff] You don't need me.
I just have to verify whether it's the Tower of Pimps or not.
[Michael laughing] Okay.
[Ray] So the Tower of Diamonds is not the Tower of Pimps.
[Michael] Got it.
[Geoff] Right, the Tower of Diamonds is not the Tower of Pimps.
[Michael] Are there, like imposter towers?
[Geoff] I don't know. I have no idea what's going on.
[Ray laughs] There's a tower with only three.
[Geoff] I will tell you this,
One thing I'll tell you: the Tower of Pimps is not underground. It's gonna be on the surface.
I mean I'm not saying it's not gonna be like, under an overhang, or maybe like...
[Ray's karate sounds]
[Geoff] ...stuck in a wall or something, but you're
not gonna have to dig down.
[Michael] Good God.
[Jack] So it is exposed to sky?
[Geoff] It is expo- well...
I mean, it's exposed to air.
[Gavin] You're not gonna have to do a dig down.
[Ray scoffs] Aw, thanks!
[Geoff] Alright, you don't have to do a dig down.
[Michael] Gotta do a little dig do?
[Gavin] Got a little diggy do?
[Geoff] No dig down.
[Michael makes gibberish noises]
[Geoff] Are you guys ready?
[Jack] Yes!
[Ray grunts] Fuck!
[Michael] Fuck yeah, I want my Tower back!
[Geoff] Alright, on the count of three,
go forth into the world and find the Tower of Pimps, return it to me!
[Gavin] Let's Play! [screeches]
[Ray] I broke the kung-fu picture.
[Geoff] One-two-three!
[Michael] You didn't even count to three, oh there you go.
[Geoff laughs]
[Geoff] I'm gonna pick somebody and follow them.
[Jack] Hmm.
[Michael] Ray...
[Geoff] It's weird, Michael and Ray seem to be going in the same direction...
[Ray] Who's following me?
[Geoff] Interesting tactic.
[Gavin] DIE, CHICKEN!
[Geoff] You guys are going towards, uh, water...
I'm not sure... Interesting tactic.
[Michael grunts]
[Geoff] Check your maps, you'll see...
[Ray] Can we, uh... dig shit?
[Geoff] It can be in any direction, guys, this is a big map.
[Ray] SUGAR CANE! SUGAR CANE...
[Geoff] Well, it's probably not gonna be in the one
section of the map that's, that's not.
[Michael in background] What the fuck...
[Ray] Alright, I've got thirty-four sugar cane, do I win?
[Gavin] I've always wanted to go on a little wander
with a map.
[Jack] A wander?
[Gavin] It's quite therapeutic.
[Michael, high-pitched] Li'l wander? A li'l stroll in the park.
[Ray] Oh it's pretty cool, the whole map's just exposed...
[Jack] What does John Locke... He goes on a walkabout
Let's go on a walkabout.
[Ray] Uh, which arrow am I...?
[Michael] You're the, uh...
[Ray] Am I red?
[Ray] Guess I'm red.
[Geoff] Alright, has anybody found the
Tower of Pimps yet?
[Michael snickering] No.
[Jack] Yeah. I've got it.
[Geoff laughing]
[Michael] "I win!"
[Jack] That'd be awesome!
[Michael] No, it would suck!
[Geoff] That would be... That would be frustrating.
[Ray] Fuckin' four minute Let's Play.
[Gavin] I love that most of our Let's Plays revolve around us being incompetent in some way. And sucking.
[Michael] Well... You know.
[Gavin] Sucking long enough to make a video.
I like that Achievement City actually shows up on the map.
[Geoff] Yeah, it's pretty cool.
[Gavin] It's the wrong color, but...
[Geoff] Well, it's my house that's showing up.
[Gavin] That's your house.
[Geoff] Yeah.
[Gavin] Ohh.
[Michael] By jove, you've got it.
[Geoff] I'm following Ray, he does not seem to have it yet.
[Michael] Ray, you still don't have the tower?!
[Ray] First of all, I'm looking for roses.
The Tower can go fuck itself for now.
[Geoff] Alright...
[Jack laughing] What is this bullshit?
[Laughing]
[Geoff] Uh oh, what has Jack found?
[Geoff] What do you got over there, Jack?
[Jack] Is that a fake Tower of Pimps?
[Gavin] What is it?
[Jack laughing] Are you fucking kidding me?
[Michael] What the fuck?
[Geoff] Jack has found the first decoy Tower!
[Laughing]
[Ray] This is gonna be a short Let's Play.
[Jack] Wow... I was like, "hey look it's...  Oh wait, that's..."
[Gavin] Were you almost excited?
[Jack] No...
[Geoff] No, he was excited.
[Jack] That was awesome.
[Ray] "I've found it!"
[Gavin] Michael, how many times have you had the Tower of Pimps at this point?
[Michael] Uhh...
[Geoff] Twice!
[Michael] Twice.
[Gavin] Dude, and you're just terrible at Minecraft.
[Michael] Yeah!
[Geoff] He's great at competition, though.
[Gavin] You're just dog-awful.
[Michael] Yeah. I agree.
[Jack] We all have... Everyone grabbed their bed, though, right, so we could all go to sleep theoretically.
[Geoff] Yeah. I mean if you guys can work that out amongst each other, yeah.
[Jack sighs]
[Gavin] Make it secure...
[Jack] I will comply, but that's not going to be happening.
[Laughing]
[Geoff] I will comply with the will of the group. If everybody wants to sleep, I will sleep as well.
[Ray] Oh hey, I see what Jack found.
[Jack] Truce? Friendly? Friendly?
[Ray] I have no reason to kill you!
[Jack] Okay. Friendly? Oh, that's Geoff.
[Laughing]
[Michael] "Friendly?!"
[Ray] Base! Base... [Surprised noise] I found roses! We're good!
[Geoff] Alright, Ray found roses...
[Ray] Yes...
[Geoff] Jack, you might be close to something...
[Michael] What?
[Gavin] Look at the map, we're all in the exact same... [Laughs]
[Geoff] Good Lord.
[Gavin] How did we all end up here?
[Gavin] Someone's underground.
[Geoff] Guys, it's starting to get dark.
[Jack] Shit.
[Gavin humming Jaws theme]
[Gavin] Da dun DA DUN DA DUN
[Michael screaming]
[Michael] GAVIN, YOU FUCK!
[Gavin laughing]
[Michael] You fucking prick. I was looking at my map and Gavin ran up to me and murdered me.
[Geoff] Not cool. But totally, totally legal.
[Michael] Well, so much for everyone sleeping at night,
'cause there goes my bed.
[Jack] Oh, that's true.
[Geoff] Oh no, you guys fucked Michael.
[Ray] No, he fucked all of us, 'cause now we can't sleep.
[Gavin] Michael, how's it going, buddy?
[Michael makes makes high-pitched squawking sounds]
[Gavin] Oh, what have I go... What have I found, surrounded by spiders?
Is that... [Laughing]
[Geoff] What is it, Gavin?
[Gavin] It looks like a tower of white wool.
[Geoff laughing] It's possible.
[Ray] So is that it?
[Gavin] In no way resembles
[Screaming] Spiders!
[Geoff] So you found the Tower of White Wool.
[Gavin laughing]
[Ray] Such an honor.
[Jack] Thank God.
[Jack] Okay. I have torches now.
[Gavin] I might take it with me. Am I allowed to modify the towers that I find?
[Geoff] I don't care.
[Screaming]
[Laughing]
[Gavin, high-pitched] They've only just gone and got me, haven't they?
[Ray] Alright. I'm in a bed! I'm safe!
[Gavin sighs] My home bed was missing or obstructed...
[Jack] I'm assuming we're not sleeping though, right?
[Geoff] Well, if you can...
[Ray] I'm in bed, I'm sleeping.
[Jack] Well, I mean Michael doesn't have a bed anymore.
[Gavin] I don't have a bed either.
[Geoff] It's true.
[Jack] And Gavin doesn't have a bed either.
[Gavin] And also, I didn't spawn in my house 'cause I took the bed.
[Ray] Goddamn it.
So much for sleeping.
[Laughter]
[Jack] Yeah. So, fuck that.
[Geoff] Things are going south pretty quickly for you guys.
[Gavin] Uhh, which way did I go, guys?
[Ray] Fuck if I know.
[Gavin] Oh no... This is a disaster.
I've gone and done... Oh, I've done it.
[Michael] Shut up.
[Gavin] This is the w-... Whoops!
Bloody zombie just died in front of me. Punch you in the face, you...
[Geoff] Michael, you've found the Cube of Pimps.
[Michael] Yeah I did.
[Ray] The Pimp Cube!
[Michael] I'm taking it.
[Jack] The Cube of Pimps?
[Gavin] What is that?!
[Jack] Is it made out of wool?
[Michael laughing] Yeah.
[Michael] I thought this was the same thing everybody else found...
[Geoff] No, it's totally different.
[Gavin] The good thing is, is that with all these fake towers around, you can use them to make beds.
[Ray laughs]
[Geoff] You guys have found three fake towers.
[Geoff] Ray, you haven't found shit.
[Ray] No, I found a fake tower.
I found the one that Jack found.
[Geoff] Nah, you can't find it if it's already been found!
[Michael] Yeah, don't be a fucking...
[Geoff] There's no such thing as re-discovering.
[Ray] Well... Thanks for shitting on that.
[Geoff] Yeah, no problem.
[Michael in background] Christopher Columbus over here.
[Jack] Need some iron.
[Ray screaming]
CREEP, WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
[Geoff] Everything's fine.
[Jack] Uh, I think Ray might have been..
[Gavin laughing] What happened, Ray?
[Michael screaming]
[Ray] I got fucking decimated.
[Michael] I also just got Creeped.
[Ray] Oh wait! That's okay.
[Gavin] So, I'm thinking we should sleep, guys.
[Ray] Everything's alright.
[Jack] We don't have beds!
[Gavin] Uh, make beds?
[Ray] Ray is okay. Oh no, I lost my roses. Where are my roses?
[Michael] Damn!
[Ray] Okay I got 'em, we're good.
[Gavin screaming]
Prick.
[Laughter]
[Geoff]  That sounded bad.
[Jack] Yeah, I hear explosions coming from Gav's screen.
[Gavin] Wow! Tower of Diamond!
[Jack] What?
[Gavin] That looks badass, look at it!
[Everyone oohhs]
[Geoff] Gavin's found a Tower of Diamond.
[Gavin] Aww, wish I could have that instead.
[Ray] Way to go, Gavin.
[Gavin] It's way more valuable than [choked sounds]
[Laughter]
[Jack] Think Gavin's having a bad day over there.
[Geoff] Sounds like it.
[Michael] I'm punching WOOD!
[Gavin] Can I take the diamond and use it?
[Geoff] Can you mine it?
[Gavin] Good point. I will move on.
[Laughter]
[Michael] Oh! Creepers!
[Makes pained sounds]
[Gavin] You obviously thought this through, Geoffrey.
[Geoff] Long as you don't damage the Tower of Pimps...
[Ray] Oh, I thought my game froze.
[Michael] Fuck!
No...
[Geoff] Jack has got himself a nice little cave going there.
[Michael] Jack IS a cave.
[Ray] I'm still trying to sleep, gentlemen!
[Jack] What does that even mean?
[Gavin] Did you just say "Jack is a cave?"
[Michael laughing] Yeah.
[Geoff laughing] I don't know.
[Gavin] That's like... What does that mean, he's like, got a big loose arse or something?
[Laughter]
[Ray] So Jack, what are you doing later?
Loose ass.
[Gavin] Jack...
Jack's got an arsehole like a clown's pocket.
[Hysteric laughter]
[Laughter continues]
[Jack] I'm not even mad, I'm impressed.
[Geoff], Yeah, I don't know if I should congratulate you?
[Ray] So that's Quickbits episode two, right?
[Gavin] That's from a very funny movie.
[Geoff] What movie was that?
[Gavin] That was from "The Parole Officer", with Steve Coogan.
[Geoff] Isn't Steve Coogan the guy that got Owen Wilson addicted to heroin?
[Gavin laughing] Yep. That's the guy.
[Geoff] Yeah. Good dude.
[Ray] Oh. I planted a rose. Nice.
[Geoff] So Jack, what's your plan over there, buddy, are you just trying to get some iron?
[Jack] Yeah, I was looking for iron, and um, just enough to make a...
[Michael] Monsters! FUCK!
[Gavin] Did you say "lobsters"?
[Laughter]
[Geoff] Dude, what if Minecraft had lobsters?
[Gavin] That'd be awesome.
[Michael groans]
[Ray] Krabby and Kingler up in this bitch.
[Jack] Is it a lobster or a duck?
[Geoff laughs]
[Geoff] That's funny.
[Ray] That's the best Pokemon noise.
[Ray] Once you, uh, find it, read off the co-ordinates please.
[Jack] Yeah, if you could.
[Ray] That'd be nice.
[Gavin] Stop it.
[Explosion]
[Laughter]
[Geoff] Looks like the sun might be coming up.
[Ray] Good.
[Ray] Oh wait, Creepers don't die in the sun, do they?
[Gavin] No, they don't.
[Michael] Found a Tower of Glass?
[Ray] Ooh.
[Gavin] Wow. There's so many towers around!
[Geoff] Tower of Glass is not the Tower of Pimps, please do not destroy it.
[Michael] Alright, I will leave the glass...
[Gavin laughs] "Please do not destroy it..."
[Screaming] I keep throwing my map like an idiot!
[Ray] I remember the first time I played this game.
[Geoff laughs]
[Jack] Yeah, we do too.
[Geoff laughs harder]
[Ray] Aw, Creeper, go away! Go away...
[Geoff] I wonder if I should detach my mic and just walk around.
[Gavin] You should, actually.
[Jack] Like, Bob Barker style?
[Michael makes choking sounds]
[Jack] Alright, Geoff is now, uh, you don't have much of a... I can swap your cable if you want.
[Geoff] No, no no I'm good. What do we got going on over here, Jack?
[Jack] I'm-
[Geoff] Eh, nobody cares.
Alright, Gavin? What's going on over here?
[Gavin] I'm walking around the jungle-woods, Geoffrey.
Uh, not found anything apart from Tower of Diamond.
[Geoff] Are you talking, uhh, talking like a Scouser?
[Gavin] Uhh...
[Gavin and Geoff screaming]
Oh God that scared me, he caught on fire.
[Geoff] Zombie.
[Gavin] It was okay though, 'cause he's burning.
[Geoff] Michael is, uhh, going fucking crazy on some, uh, shrubs it looks like.
[Michael] I am trying to use the trees as a vantage point.
[Geoff] You gonna build a Seed of Pimps?
[Gavin] That's a good idea, actually, you're getting high.
Aw, I found roses!
[Ray] Yo, hook me up.
[Michael]  OH, CREEPER! [Explosion]
[Ray] Hook a brother up.
[Geoff] Michael's dead.
[Michael] But what was that in the distance? Is it the Tower of Pimps?
[Geoff] I don't know, how can you get back to where you were?
[Michael] Goddammit.
[Gavin laughing] Did you just see it in the distance? Did he see the Tower of Pimps on the horizon?
[Michael] It was A tower, I couldn't tell 'cause I was dead.
[Jack] Might not be THE Tower.
[Geoff] It might be the Tower, it might not be the Tower.
There's only one way to find out, Michael.
[Gavin laughing] Find exactly where you were...
[Ray making karate sounds]
[Geoff] What's going on over here, Ray?
[Ray] I'm in Fort Ray.
[Geoff] Fort Ray. Oh, Fort Ray's way too nice for you.
[Gavin] I thought Fort Ray was when you look at your own face.
[Ray] There's a Creeper like, right...
...there.
[Geoff laughing]
Just assessing the situation.
Whoa! What the fuck is that?
[Geoff] Uh oh, Ray sees something on the horizon!
What's it going to be, Ray?
[Ray] Well, we're about to find out, hopefully.
[Gavin] You looked like a real good MC there, Geoff.
[Geoff] Thank you very much.
[Jack] MCGeoff?
[Gavin] MC Tone Geoff.
[Jack] Tone Geoff?
[Geoff] Yeah, tone Geoff.
[Ray] What? Oh, shit.
[Geoff] That's my rapper...
[Ray] Is there anybody behind me?
[Geoff] Nah, you're good.
[Ray] Oh, fuck.
[Geoff] Uh oh!
[Geoff] Michael's on the, on the, uhh... Michael's coming at you with fists!
That's all he's got.
[Ray] Did you see him fight last video? He's gonna destroy me.
[Michael] Ow, ow...
[Geoff] Oh, someone got creeped over here!
[Ray] Oh, what's this? That's not important to me.
[Michael] I got creeped many times over there.
[Gavin and Geoff speaking German]
[Geoff] Oh shit, what is that? What did Ray find?!
How long have we been playing?
Does anyone know how long we've been capturing?
[Jack] Uh, we've been capturing for about twenty-three minutes.
[Gavin] Twenty-three minutes.
[Geoff] Twenty-three minutes, did he already find the Tower of Pimps?
[Gavin] Did he?
[Geoff] Nnnnooooo, he didn't!
He found the Almost Tower of Pimps!
[Michael] Oh, what is it?
[Ray] It's three gold blocks and a yellow wool.
[Everyone hollers]
[Geoff] So close, Ray!
[Ray] I just went from a solid two inches to like, one.
[Jack] Aww, that sucks.
[Gavin] That's the biggest gyp ever.
[Geoff laughs]
[Gavin] That's got to be the closest to an actual Tower of Pimps.
[Geoff] Three gold blocks and one wool, that was close. Michael!
[Gavin] So that was three gold blocks and one yellow wool?
[Geoff giggling] Yeah.
[Jack] That's fucking evil.
[Gavin] That's funny.
[Ray] Yeah. That sucked.
[Jack] That is fucking evil.
[Michael] Ray, how much health did you have there?
[Ray] Uhh... uh, four?
[Geoff], You guys are all staying pretty close to the center of the map.
[Gavin] I'm not, I'm bloody... I'm on the very edge.
[Michael] I keep getting murdered!
[Geoff] Oh, are you? Oh, Gavin's in the top left of the map.
[Ray] Oh, are you?
[Gavin] And let me tell you something, there's no Tower of Pimps.
[Ray] You are going OFF the map.
[Jack] Is it daylight outside?
[Geoff] Yeah, it's daylight. You can come outside.
[Gavin] You been underground all night?
[Jack] Yes!
[Gavin] You're a BITCH!
[Geoff laughs]
[Jack] Dude, I was fucking doing stuff! I was mining for materials!
[Ray] To be fair, I was hiding in like, a hole.
[Geoff] Can you guys mine some comedy, 'cause I'm...
[Gavin laughs]
[Michael] Ohhh, got. Good one Geoff!
[Gavin] Well now that Jack's made all the tools we need, I'm gonna go and find Jack.
[Laughter]
[Geoff] Ahh, Ray, you were so excited, you were so close!
[Ray] I was.
[Ray] What's that? Oh. No.
That's the same thing I saw before, I think.
[Geoff] Is it?
[Ray] Yeah, I can tell from here. Oh, fuck.
[Geoff] That spider's not gonna fuck with you, it's daytime.
[Gavin] Nothing on the coast...
[Ray] That's a good point.
[Gavin] Does it have to be red roses, Ray?
[Ray] Yeah.
[Geoff] Oh, that fider- spider's fuckin' with you!
[Ray] You lied to me!
[Geoff] I don't know why! I don't know why he's fucking with you!
[Michael] Spiders always fuck with you.
[Geoff] No, not in the daytime!
[Ray] Well, now I need pork chops.
[Michael] Yes they do.
[Geoff] Not if you don't fuck with them first.
[Jack] You have to... You have to hit 'em.
[Geoff] Yeah, I'm not gonna say that there's not stuff out there where you are, Gavin,
but I... I don't know.
[Jack laughing] Like... Like we're all huddled around the center and Gavin's off on the fuckin' edge...
[Gavin] I'm being adventurous!
[Geoff] He's the only... That kid's... That's a tactic.
[Jack] You know, Gavin's also the only one... He's probably spent more time in this map than anyone
except for you, Geoff.
[Geoff] Doesn't matter, he has no way...
[Gavin] I've never been outside of Achievement City or the Wipeout map.
[Jack] Really?
[Geoff] Yeah, no, we don't explore.
[Geoff] Oh, Ray found something! Is that a cave...? It looks like a cave.
I wouldn't go down there if I was looking for a Tower of Pimps, 'cause it wouldn't BE down there.
[Ray] Just assessing the situation.
[Gavin laughs]
[Geoff] The situ-RAY-tion.
[Michael] Oh my God.
[Geoff] See what I did?
[Gavin] I love it.
[Geoff] You're welcome.
[Ray] MC Comedy, everybody.
[Geoff] Heyooo!
[Gavin] Eyo!
[Geoff] Uh, I like Michael's tactic.
[Gavin] What's his tactic?
[Geoff] Getting bird's eye views.
[Geoff] I don't know that it's gonna stand out that easily, but it's...
[Ray] I tried the same thing, I just saw like, a wool one.
I was disappointed again.
[Geoff] Oh, yeah, that'll happen sometimes.
[Michael grunts]
[Geoff] So...
[Gavin] What was that noise, Michael?
[Ray] That was a noise.
[Michael] Thought I was gonna fucking... die.
[Ray] Not quite a Gavin noise, but... It was a noise.
[Geoff] So Ray still has his map.
[Gavin] Oh, bollocks!
[Ray] What the fuck is this?
[Gavin] Bloody back at Achievement City.
[Geoff] Gavin still has his map.
[Ray] I found a cigarette. Somebody left a cigarette in the middle of the fuckin' world.
[Geoff] Oh yeah, that's the, uh, Tower of Cigarettes!
[Laughter]
[Geoff] You found the, uh...
[Jack] Tower of Smokes.
[Geoff] Now, any, uh, anywhere else that you've been outside of Achievement City could contain the
Tower of Pimps. I'm not saying it does, but it could be, well, it couldn't be in the crusher, that's underground,
but don't.... Leave no stone unturned.
[Ray] God.
[Gavin] Oh, so...
[Ray] Fuckin' on top of the Wipeout course.
[Gavin] So you're teasing us towards the Wipeout course.
[Geoff] No, I'm not at all.
[Gavin] What else have we done?
[Geoff] Just the Wipeout course.
[Michael] Fuck!
[Geoff] Uh oh. Ray's onto something!
[Ray] What is that?!
[Geoff] OHH!
[Ray] Fucking yellow tetris block?
[Geoff] Way... Ray found a Tower of Tetris!
[Laughter]
[Gavin] Is it wool?
[Ray] Yeah, it's wool.
[Geoff] That one's wool, yeah.
[Jack] The Tower of Tetris...
[Geoff] Ray found the Tower of Tetris!
[Ray] Oh, what's over here...
[Geoff] Uh oh.
[Ray] I will investigate anyway.
[Geoff] UH OH!
[Geoff] Uh oh, what has Ray found?
[Ray] Found some cows. And some more wool.
[Geoff] No, he found a tree of wool.
[Gavin] Why is somebody off the map?
Why is there only three on the map?
[Geoff] The yellow tree of wool.
Maybe people are on top of each other?
[Ray] Oh, you can take... You can remove yourself from the map.
[Gavin] Who's removed themself from the map?!
[Geoff] Somebody's probably removed themself.
I'm gonna guess Jack has.
[Gavin] Jack is such a little...
[Jack] Player, is what I am.
[Geoff] Ray is climbing...
[Jack] It's a lagoon.
[Gavin] "Nice little goon?"
[Geoff] ...The top of the mountain.
[Jack] LAgoon.
[Gavin laughing] Oh.
[Geoff] Very close to Achievement City, still.
I'm amazed at how close you guys are staying to Achievement City.
[Michael] I'm pretty sure I'm not close...
[Jack] Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty far away too.
[Jack] See, my... Now I've got to think, like, is Geoff willing to go all the way out here to set something up?
[Geoff] I will infor... I will tell you guys that Geoff covered every inch of the map when he was making this.
[Jack] Except for... That.
[Geoff] Except for that, and that one there.
[Ray] Oh, hey, it's the Tower of Glass.
[Geoff] What, Ray found a Tower of Glass?!
[Gavin] I think Michael already found that.
[Geoff] There are... Dude, it's possible there are multiple Towers of Glass.
[Gavin] It's possible that Geoff forgot what he'd already done and put two of them.
[Geoff] No no no, Geoff had a lot of resources.
[Ray] Did you ever think of like, leaving signs?
Like, especially for the one in the tree that's three gold blocks, and like, one yellow wool.
[Gavin] I can't believe Jack's taken himself off the map, what a little bitch.
[Ray] Be like a sign that's like, "Haha, idiot!"
[Jack] Fuck you, it's a smart thing to do!
[Geoff] It's a tactic.
We didn't say he couldn't do it. Next time we will.
[Gavin] Next time we will!
[Geoff] This time he can.
Oh, what did Ray find?
[Ray] I'm over here.
[Geoff] He found an island!
[Gavin] Island of Pimps?
[Ray] I mean it's blue, but...
[Jack] Island of Pimps.
[Ray] I may be able to...
[Geoff] Just 'cause there's something blue there doesn't mean there also won't be something gold there.
[Geoff] Oh, what is it, what is it, what is it?
[Michael] Aw, fuck, the sun's going down.
[Geoff] Ray has found a Tower of...!
[Ray] ...Diamond.
[Geoff] Diamond.
[Michael] Aw, crap.
[Gavin] It's a good-looking tower though, isn't it?
[Geoff] And he has dismantled it. Now Ray has diamond.
[Gavin] What?
[Geoff] Yeah, Ray has diamond.
[Gavin] Dammit!
I found a Tower of Diamond, I should've used it!
[Jack] Why didn't you?
[Geoff] Well, you didn't have a fuckin' iron pickaxe.
[Gavin] 'Cause I didn't have a.... resources.
[Gavin] Aw, it's getting dark. Awww, it's getting dark.
[Geoff] Ray's in, uh.... Ray's looking pretty good
right now.
[Gavin] Ugch.
[Jack] Yeah.
[Geoff] I would not wanna be... I would not wanna go up against Ray.
Still got his map. Got four blocks of diamond.
[Gavin] Oh!
[Geoff] Uh oh, Gavin found something!
[Gavin] Nope. Sheep.
[Geoff] Gavin found a Tower of Sheep!
[Laughter]
[Ray] Is there really four sheep stacked on top of each other? That'd be impressive.
[Gavin] Get away from me, spide.
Spide. [Gasp]
I'm gonna die.
[Geoff] Get him, get him, get him!
[Gavin] Last look at the map, where am I?!
[Gavin screaming]
[Geoff laughing]
[Gavin] Alright. I don't know why I looked at the map, 'cause I don't know which direction that is!
[Everyone laughing]
[Gavin] Damn it!
[Ray] Nice strategy.
[Geoff] Gavin's lost his map!
[Gavin] I just bent over in front of a spider for no reason.
[Geoff] It's out there somewhere, buddy, you just gotta go find it.
[Gavin] Let me just go find my map, so I know where I dropped the map.
[Geoff] Ray's building his, uh, house.
[Gavin] Oh, sod.
[Michael] Protection?
[Geoff] Huge fuckin' house, Ray.
[Ray] Yeah, I know.
[Geoff] Doesn't have to be a mansion, buddy.
[Ray] Well... Geoff, have you seen my current house?
[Geoff] Yeah, that's true.
[Ray] I wanna splurge a little bit.
[Michael] Just expand.
[Jack] Now that Gavin doesn't have a map, I kinda wanna put myself back on the map.
[Geoff] I'm amazed...
I'm amazed that you guys haven't found the Tower yet.
[Ray] Are you?
[Jack] Really?
[Geoff] Yeah!
[Ray] Big world, Geoff.
[Geoff] Uh oh, Gavin's headed, uh... towards the... what is that, the... Wipeout map?
Alright. Go that way. I don't care.
[Ray] At least you know if it's in the crusher, Jack's not gonna be able to get it.
[Laughter]
[Michael] Dude I don't even know how to GET to the Wipeout map.
[Gavin] Ohh, Jack... You were terrible. You were DOG-awful.
[Geoff] Joke of the day!
[Gavin] Joke of the Ray!
[Geoff] Alright, well that's... you know...
[Gavin] Anyone? Anyone?
[Ray] Geoff, this is why I got the roses, right?
[Geoff] Yeah.
[Ray] Remember Fort Ray?
[Geoff] Yeah I do.
[Ray] Left a rose so I know I was there.
BOOM. Know I was here.
[Geoff] That's awesome, dude.
[Ray] It's like a little mark. And now we wait...
[Gavin] What happened to the Wipeout course?
[Geoff] It's around.
[Gavin] Is it?
[Geoff] Yeah!
[Gavin] I don't see it.
[Geoff] Uhh... It's around.
[Gavin] Are you sure?
[Geoff] Yeah!
[Gavin] You didn't dismantle it?
[Geoff] No, no I did not take it down.
[Jack] Really?
[Geoff] Go look for it! Go check out the Wipeout course!
[Michael] Go look for it... I don't know where it is!
[Geoff] It's half the size of the fuckin' planet.
[Gavin] What's this?
[Geoff] That's the tower that... we always go to.
[Geoff] That's the tower that we know... how to get there.
[Gavin] Oh. Oh!
[Ray mimicking] Oh!
[Gavin] I get it.
[Michael mimicking] Ohh!
[Gavin] I get it.
[Geoff] Gavin has found the Wipeout course...
[Gavin] I found...
[Ray] Ahh, the memories.
[Geoff] Or some of it.
[Gavin] Could do with a map.
[Jack] It's gotta be something dumb, like you put it like,
right on top of the Wipeout course or something like that.
[Ray] It's actually on top of Geoff's house, it's like The Hangover, we just have to check the roof.
[Geoff] Is it over in this field where Michael's running around?
Possibly.
[Gavin] I don't have anything to get it down with.
[Michael] I seriously doubt it's in an open field.
[Geoff] Oohhh, he's down the Flume of Doom!
[Laughter]
[Michael] So he's just running the course?
[Ray] He's just running the course.
[Geoff making jumping sounds]
[Gavin screaming]
[Geoff screaming]
[Gavin] Oh, nooo! Yes...
[Michael] Wow.
[Geoff] Ohh, shouldn't have done that!
[Michael] Did you die?
[Geoff] Gavin has a heart left.
[Laughter]
[Jack] Is the cake still there?
[Geoff] The, uh, lava-waties got him.
[Gavin] Oh, the cake!
[Ray] No! Do not take the cake.
Do not succumb to it.
[Geoff] Oh, the cake is there!
[Gavin] I'm not gonna go cakeless, Ray. I need that cake.
[Ray] No, you're a...
You're dead to me.
[Geoff laughing]
[Geoff] I don't know if he can get to the cake with one heart.
[Gavin laughing] Run the whole course.
[Michael] Big old pit.
[Geoff] Yeah, that's how we... That's Gavin's dumb way of getting down to our old... to the basement.
[Michael] "Gavin's dumb way."
[Geoff] I like the idea of all this stuff existing in the world forever.
[Michael screaming]
Fuckin' four zombies! I turn the corner and there's like, four zombies, and there's a Creeper behind them.
[Geoff] Fuckin'... Up to no good.
[Geoff] Zombie hijinks.
[Michael] Oh God, oh God...
[Jack laughing] Zombie hijinks.
[Michael] Fuckin' beatnik zombies hanging out by the beach.
[Geoff and Gavin screaming]
[Geoff] What has Gavin found?!
[Gavin] Oh!
[Geoff] Oh, no!
[Geoff] What is it, Gavin? What have you found?
[Gavini] It's a tower!
[Geoff] It's a tower. But is it a Tower of Pimps?
[Gavin] Num num num.
[Geoff and Ray laughing]
[Ray] Solid noise.
[Geoff] Gavin's gone cake.
[Gavin] I went cake... [screaming]
[Geoff laughing]
[Gavin laughing] I was never good at that jump.
[Laughter]
[Jack] Did everyone else pull themselves off the map?
[Ray] Perhaps.
[Michael] Yeah, I did it a looong time ago.
[Ray] Oh, did you?
[Geoff] There's a third waterfall you can jump into.
...that takes you to the top of the world.
[Michael] I did it probably at least fifteen minutes before Gavin...
[Ray] I, uh, I completely forgot about it and then...
[Gavin] Oh is that where I...
[Gavin] Oh, there's nothing up here anyway.
[Ray] Let's see the map.
[Gavin] Oh.
[Geoff laughing] Where is it?
[Gavin] I don't know where I saw it.
[Geoff] Watching Gavin try to figure this out is the funniest fucking thing in the world.
[Ray] Is he trying to figure out the own Wipeout course he made?
[Gavin] Trying to figure out the course I built.
[Geoff laughing]
[Michael] Are you fucking stupid?
[Ray] You dick.
[Gavin] Oh, it's...
[Gavin] Alright.
[Geoff laughing]
[Gavin] Hang on.
[Jack laughing] God...
[Jack] Did you forget the fucking ladder?
[Gavin] No, hang on.
No, I got it.
...It's wool.
[Geoff] It's wool!
[Laughter]
[Geoff] Gavin just wasted twenty minutes!
[Gavin screaming]
[Gavin] It's definitely wool.
[Geoff] Yeah.
That's a... That's a Tower of Wool.
Good thing you investigated that now, you saved everybody else the hassle.
[Jack] Thank you, Gavin.
[Ray] Thanks, Gavin.
Team player.
[Jack] Is it still dark outside, Gavin?
[Geoff] Oh yeah. It's definitely dark.
[Geoff] Oh, Michael found himself a... arrow.
[Ray] S'not bad.
[Geoff] Oh, what is that?!
[Geoff giggling]
That is a Collapsed Tower of Wool.
[Laughter]
[Ray] Does that count?
[Gavin] It's amazing... You must have just been sat there thinking "How can I make blocks funny?"
[Geoff] "How can I make blocks funny," that's pretty much what I was doing, yeah.
[Gavin] What is this?
[Geoff] What did you find?
[Gavin] Tower of Sand.
[Geoff] Uh, that, actually you made.
[Gavin] I did!
[Laughter]
[Geoff] I left it in, but that's a Tower of Sand that you made a long time ago.
[Gavin] I remember that, I used that to get up to a tree.
[Geoff] Yeah you did.
[Michael] Idiot.
[Geoff] Uh oh.
[Ray] Best tower right there.
[Geoff giggling]
[Explosion]
[Gavin screaming]
[Geoff laughing hysterically]
[Michael] Fuck!
[Jack] Did he just fall to his death?
[Laughter]
[Geoff] Gavin MAY have just found the Tower of Pimps.
[Ray] Really?
[Geoff laughing] And died immediately!
D'you have any idea how to get back there?
[Gavin giggling] I need to very quickly make some tools.
[Laughter]
[Jack] Oh, shit.
[Geoff] Michael....
[Michael] ...sword up here, I will fucking come back
and blow you away, you motherfucker.
[Gavin] Oh! Michael please!
[Michael] I will come back and blow you away!
[Gavin screaming]
[Gavin] Michael!
[Geoff] Michael's gonna get him!
[Gavin] Michael, no!
[Geoff] Michael's gonna fist him to death!
[Michael] C'mere, you prick!
[Gavin screaming]
[Gavin] Michael... Michael, don't...
