"I give this film a one star rating."
"This film two stars."
Only a film critic knows how to get a five star rating.
That is why when he himself makes a film
He gets just 1.5 stars (lmao) *world laughing*
And that too out of 10 (sksks say sike right now)
An amazing movie about the nation
which was banned by the government of the said nation itself (awww i wonder why)
On whose premier the entire population was jumping with joy and excitement!
(OMG SO MUCH OF EXCITEMENT. Huh)
inner thought: "I must be a big f*** that i entered this (yes, yes you are)
"Sir what is so special about this movie?" (nothing)
"We have done a lot of hardwork for this" (yeah right)
"Uhhh..." (Me during viva)
"Uhhh.." *in a lower tone*
*a high note again*
(connoiseur of uhhh) "But-" (here we go again)
"We do not want the film to be released"
Same here. DESHDROHI = traitor. Because such a punishment can only be made by a traitor to the nation (seriously)
Action, Thriller (why you always lyin' bro xD)
It is as if the dude has created the Avengers movie itself (lol true)
*joke of the century award bahahaha*
This masterpiece has it all.
From forgetting dialogues,
"Hey-" "Y-" "You-" (cat got your tongue?)
to fantastic 'blind' action
where the passenger himself is driving the bus as if he's playing GTA (what even- xD)
KRK, Introducing himself!
His name along with his butt! Nice (-_-)
He is doing everything to sink this movie
Story, screenplay, dialogues, acti- (multitalented wow)
whatever the hell this is (this is aRt)
Because when the budget is low,
then one has to put up the facade of multitalent (aww :( )
In this movie, we have
Gracy Singh, from iconic Lagaan to Deshdrohi
Aman Verma, from Baghban to Deshdrohi
Rishita Bhatt, who moved from legend SRK to KRK
For heaven's sake is this a movie or a career suicide spot?! (that's more likely tbh)
KRK in this movie, is playing the role of a reaction channel
"Oh no" "Damn" (such effort. much wow)
"Oh damn..."x4 (such expressions omg)
And his name his:
"This is Raja."
"So your name is Raja?"
"It's a good name."
"If your name is Raja, then even your heart must be that of a Raja(king) lol
"Myself Chhotu (small)."
"So your name is Chhotu? It's a good name."
"If your name is Chhotu,
then you must be Chhotu (small) even at heart." (ouch. burn)
"Now go get lost!"
"Where the hell did the heart (to-heart talk. see what i did there) come from? *utter confusion*
"GET OUT!"
"Just the way your mom had imagined, you have chosen a life partner just like that." (do i smell sarcasm?)
Her mom had absolutely no expectations from her
because what she even imagined was this alien
*aliens scream in terror*
And it is said that he watches Annu Malik's movies on repeat. (won't be surprised)
"Mumbai-"
"After coming to Mumbai-"
"After coming to Mumbai-" (dude STOP)
"This is Mumbai my brother." (yeah pretty clear by now)
"This is Mumbai." (FML yes we get it!)
"This is Mumbai." *slams head into the wall*
"Here the law does not work its way." (where does it .^.)
Dude were they trying to write a script or a Wikipedia page on Mumbai? (for better SEO :P)
"This is the city of rocks." (Idaho reserve: am I a joke to you?)
In fact, just like songs, even their dialogues-
"I'll kill here, and your corpse would be in the cemetery"
"She kills here, and the corpse lands in the cemetery" (no shit)
So as soon as the movie starts,
our constipated Raja
runs towards the bathroom by swimming in the air (such talents)
And as soon as he reaches Mumbai after much shitting,
his casanova actions start surfacing.
*what an absolute joy on his face*
*entering the realm of cliche love story*
(there we go)
Just a minute.
After stealing a sweat-drenched handkerchief, he is dreaming of honeymoon?! (portkey revamped)
Even organic chemistry never confused this much (for right)
*deja vu*
(oh no.. not again)
*sane Abhyudaya has left the chat*
"What the hell is happening?!"
"Man your sweat was so damn awesome!" (take notes people)
Now Raja is feminist
that is why he does a flop song with every actress in the film,
"If you don't have more story to write, no problems at all."
"Just put in one more song." (what is it, coriander leaves?)
where his only contribution is his morning walk.
(OMG how many girls died due to this swag level? *heart eyes*)
Sir half the song is over. Atleast do something now.
*incoming mind blowing dance*
Oh damn that's it please stop Remo D'fufa!
they might just make you the winner of DID show (Dance India Dance)
You please continue with your marathon.
*more violent dance*
(Holy shit...) *laptop falls off the table*
*incoming hurricane*
Whoa whoa you brought a storm sir!! *Abhyudaya is shook*
That means all these four people combined
only taught them to drive away mosquitoes
and sprinkle Ganga jal(holy water).
Now, our Raja, who is forever alone in Mumbai,
tries looking for his friend.
"You will find a bus to Jogeshwari from there"
"Just sit in that, and it will take you." (where, Mars? Saturn?)
"What should I do?" (please don't do anything else)
Hey you wandering soul, this is not Jogeshwari, but Marine Drive (so directionless, just like the movie. *thug life*)
But then he applies the ULTIMATE SEARCH
STRATEGY
*asks random people on the streets* (lol sure why not)
"Do you know Shekhar?" "No I don't know any Shekhar."
"Sir do you know any Shekhar?" (bro move out of the way of traffic smh -_-)
"Sir do you know Gautami?" "No?"
"That's so strange."
"Sir do you-"
"Yeah you just go and chew that tobacco first only."
"Do you know Gautami?"
"Gautami who?"
"No I cannot tell you the full name. This is the only hint you have."(countdown to violence)
"Get lost KBC (quiz show). Go find her yourself."
"SO STRANGE."
Just like in real life, even here KRK does not know what he wants.
"If brothers start fighting amongst themselves, what will become of the nation?"
*Hulk smash*
"We have more love in our heart for you than you do."
*smashes some more*
"I never came to Mumbai to murder someone." (you know what this means...)
*BULL'S EYE!!*
"Shekhar, I will not do the work of a watchman."
"Did I do all the hard work to study till college just to become a watchman?"
ABSOLUTELY! Because he completed his education till college
just to sell fruits right?!
"Can I work at this stall of yours?"
*visible confusion*
He has tossed logic into some gutter (as always :)  )
And physics too. (that's the mandatory law)
(Newton just turned in his grave)
(theory vs practical)
Because the hero can just bribe Newton to throw gravity out of business.
Actually this is a movie on Raksha Bandhan (bro-sis festival yay!)
But without sisters. (say wut?)
"This guy is also brother. This guy is also brother." repeats BHAIYA 1M times
"Even I am a brother." (therefore whole world is brother hence proved)
"The government should change the name from BST to Bhaiyya (Brother) Transports. "
Dude even Salman Khan did not have this much craze to become a bro.
And when all the girls in your colony make you their brother. (#sedlife)
Le brozoning girls: "HELLO BROTHER!!"
Le hurt boys: "Me? Brother?! You are brother, your father, your entire family is bro
Raja puts all efforts to do absolutely nothing in the movie.
"Look there sir a helpless woman is being tortured."
"Hey you also come here no."
Dude are you calling them for a fight or for a Garba Festival?
"Hey you also come here no." (lets dance)
Please come here no!
At least dance in the name of free buffet.
And suddenly, by the power of the smell of sweat (remember the handkerchief?)
this guy becomes a spinning firework (round and round cartwheeling clown)
and blasts the bad guys' bombs (ahem)
(lmao what device did he activate xD)
because no matter how dumb the hero is,
he will definitely be a born karate black belt champion (xD)
If left to Bollywood's own devices,
they will get Khali squared up by Rajpal Yadav (*cough* Chup Chup Ke *cough*)
Now Raja's grandfather has a dream.
"-that people should salute you!"
and after seeing the rest of the script
he passed away beforehand only (yeet I'm outta here)
Even whe should have left then, because up ahead (brace yourselves)
(my brain cells when I watched this movie)
(die ffs now -_-)
(the uhhh connoisseur is back)
(me during exercising)
Do all the acting in slow motion
so that the editor does not have to do the same!
La da da da dah
Thanks to copyright I sang myself la!
(bruh you still not dead?!)
Emitting sounds as if someone is giving a massage
or he's getting up from sleep
or is burping
(lol wrong acting. avert your eyes kids)
"My driver will bring you to the farmhouse safe and sound."
He yeeted away to save his career. (priorities in place)
"If this had not happened, then some other sorrow would have been there."
"I am that person who has to cry in every situation." (stop with the melodrama Antonio)
Oh god
this has to be set as the WhatsApp status immediately. (lol)
Raja hides in
gutters and garbage vans,
because he knows his place (single-handed destruction by Gautami)
Then he takes the minister's viva.
"Sing a national song."
And if they fail to provide answers...
("If brothers fight amongst themselves, where will the nation go?" just wondering)
*BULL'S EYE AGAIN!!* *throws confetti*
*the moment of scary realisation*
Teachers are requested not to take this movie seriously :)  *whistles away*
But the real fun in the movie started
when it ended (*breathes a sigh of relief*)
Hey look the trauma is over!
WE ARE ALIVE!!
"Condemn me to a punishment of execution."
*relieved round of applause*
(um wait what?)
What?
The beginning?
Is this like the plot twist of your movie
that you will write THE END as beginning
and that too with a wrong spelling
and people will be damn confused!
*a slow clap round of applause ladies and gentlemen*
Had set out to make Biryani, but instead ended up making chewing tobacco.
And overall, the failure of this film is larger than his shoes *mic drop* (gee, lets parcel some aloe vera for the burns)
"Sir why did you even make this movie?" (same question)
"See everyone manages to get 4-5 stars"
"I had to make a movie with zero stars."
"Sir but you got 1.5 stars."
"WHAT?!"
"What kind of a sick person liked it?!"
"Bring him here we will go to the hospital together." (yes please go)
"YOU ARE DEAD ASS****!"
"In the contract, they had written KRK as SRK."
"And then they later told that it was a typo"
"because even the autocorrect does not know KRK."(sksks sike)
"Total waste of money"
"It got liked by someone." (honestly who was this -_-)
"1.5 stars!"
So that is it for today guys.
"All I want to say is that those people who have made this film,
F*** off." (thanks for summarizing that)
If you also do not like such idiotic movies
then like this video (breaks the like button lol)
and definitely do not forget to subscribe
and we'll see you guys in the next one.
(T Series, but why? uhhhh)
(oops)
(welp)
