

### The Human Soul

### The Soulmate Relationship

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller)

### Session 2

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered on 24th January 2010 by AJ Miller (who claims to be Jesus) in Buderim, Australia, as part of the Human Soul series of talks. In it Jesus describes the soulmate part of our soul, how to develop a pure longing for and find our soulmate, and emotions that block the soulmate relationship.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

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Table of Contents

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. Relationships can be based on love or addictions

3. Addressing the reasons why love or desire are not present in a relationship

3.1. Dealing with issues with truth and humility

3.2. It is beneficial to stay in a relationship with someone and work through the issues, whether they are your soulmate or not

3.3. The pain of separation comes from addictions being triggered

4. How to deal with your relationship in a loving way if you find your soulmate

5. Developing a pure longing for our soulmate

5.1. The scenario of our being in a relationship when we find our soulmate

5.2. The scenario of our soulmate being in a relationship

5.3. The scenario of not knowing who your soulmate is

5.4. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is

5.5. The example of when AJ met Mary

5.5.1. A true soulmate longing is a desire to feel all our own feelings for our soulmate

5.6. Emotional blockages prevent soulmates from feeling each other

5.7. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is and they're in a relationship

5.7.1. An example of a soulmate couple AJ met in the spirit world

5.7.2. Loving behaviour for soulmates on Earth

5.8. The example of when AJ met Mary (continued)

5.9. Developing the soulmate relationship

5.10. An example of a lady having expectations of her soulmate

5.10.1. Being rejected by her soulmate

5.10.2. Being rejected by her father

5.10.3. Feeling rejected by God

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 2

6. The soulmate part of the soul

6.1. The soul half needs bodies or another half of a soul to experience life

6.2. Development of belief systems in the soul

6.3. The physical body has fewer senses than the spirit body, which has fewer senses than the soul

6.4. Developing the soulmate part of our souls

6.5. The soulmate part of the soul needs to be open in order to recognise our soulmate

7. God created soulmates to grow together as they develop in love

7.1. Following passions and desires draws the two halves together

7.2. Joining with your soulmate creates synergy

7.3. Prioritising God over our soulmate prevents stagnation

7.4. God designed us to be able to grow towards God with or without emotional injuries

7.5. Our life truly begins in the soul union state

7.6. Prioritising God over our soulmate (continued)

7.6.1. Emotional injuries prevent a deep soulmate connection

7.6.2. Having faith and trust in God accelerates our progress

8. AJ and Mary describe their emotional experiences as soulmates

8.1. When AJ and Mary first met

8.1.1. Mary and AJ's initial emotional reactions to each other

8.2. When AJ and Mary met up in England

8.3. When AJ and Mary returned to Australia from overseas

8.4. Mary and AJ's relationship depended on the emotions they were working through

8.4.1. Truth is essential for the soulmate relationship

8.5. Dealing with anger towards the man in the relationship in loving way

8.5.1. Anger caps deeper emotions

8.5.2. Reaching the point of no longer accepting anger

9. Audience questions

9.1. As one half of the soul progresses it draws the other half to it

9.1.1. An example of a spirit couple called Joseph and Miriam

9.2. It's better to stay in the emotional truth of a situation before acting

9.2.1. An example of a lady whose partner had relationships with other women

9.2.2. Working through numbness into deeper emotions

10. Closing Words

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

So how did you find things yesterday, for those of you who were here for the first session about "The Human Soul - The Soulmate Relationship"?

Participant: Yesterday morning I left my husband after thirty years.

Yesterday morning?

Participant: Yes, and I knew it was something I needed to do because it was an unloving situation. I knew that I no longer really loved him and so I wasn't living in truth but it was still very hard and still very sad, which I'm obviously still feeling. And then I came here and you're talking about soulmates. (Laughter) So I just have a couple of questions. Why is it so hard? Why is it so sad? And also a discussion we were having in the ladies yesterday was... (00:04:01:00)

Not with me, obviously! (Laughter)

Participant: No, obviously not with you! (Laughter) Nobody would ask the question so I said I will. If you have a longing for your soulmate and you know who your soulmate is but they're married, is that unloving?

Yes, so that's brought up quite a number of questions. I'm going to answer this question in a fairly long-winded way okay, so sorry about that for those of you who want to ask certain questions.

The problem with the soulmate discussion is that we often go a number of different ways with it. One is that we feel we are not currently in a relationship that's with our soulmate; once we go that way we then have a choice of what we want to do. What are we going to do? My suggestion, rather than focusing on the soulmate issue in your current relationship, is to just focus on the love issue in your current relationship, because at the end of the day if you're with a person and it's not love, then it's for some other emotional reason. (00:05:16:00)

2. Relationships can be based on love or addictions

Let's say I'm a male in the relationship and there's a woman in the relationship - not Mary, because I'm going to leave this woman. (Laughter) I decide either that I actually do not love this woman anymore, or that this woman does not love me anymore, even though I am still in love with her. Now if that happens, immediately from God's perspective the bond between us has broken, because every bond from God's perspective is a love-based bond. Any true bond is really just a love-based bond from God's perspective. Any other bond that we have with a person is, as we talked about yesterday, usually just an addictive bond. And remember that an addiction is the satisfaction of an unhealed emotion that's out of harmony with love.

So the addiction might be, "I need to feel secure," and that comes from the unsatisfied emotion that I don't want to release inside of me that I feel very unsafe and insecure unless a man is looking after me, or a woman is looking after me. Another addiction might be, "I need someone to cook and clean for me." It can be a simple addiction. Many men have not in their entire life cooked or cleaned and it might sound a bit strange but it's true - I've met many of them. They've never cooked or cleaned because they went straight from home living with mum who cooked and cleaned for them and straight into a relationship where the woman cooked and cleaned for them, and many of them don't even know how to cook a meal for themselves. Now this is the case in many countries, where whole populations of men don't know how to cook for themselves. One of their addictions is obviously going to be needing the woman to do it for them, just a simple addiction like that, which comes from an unhealed emotion where they are not willing to take responsibility for their own life and even their own body. It's actually a big emotional injury that drives that. (00:07:40:00)

A man can stay in a relationship with a woman because of wanting an addiction met, rather than because of love

3. Addressing the reasons why love or desire are not present in a relationship

So let's say we have an addiction. The addiction causes us to remain connected to the other person. From God's perspective though, whether they passionately desire me or not, if I don't love the person I'm in a relationship with and I don't passionately desire them and they don't really matter, then at this point I have two things to do.

One is that I could work through the emotional injury-based reasons as to why I no longer passionately desire the person who at one point I may have passionately desired. If I don't passionately desire this person, my first option is to actually look at some emotional reasons of why I might not passionately desire them. (00:08:48:00)

Now one emotional reason might be that the other person has done something in the past in our relationship that has caused me to be in a state of fear or anger about the relationship. The person might have cheated on me, or they might have flirted with other men or they might have done something like that, which has caused me to have certain emotional responses inside of myself. Then as a result of those emotional responses inside of myself, I'll shut myself down towards them. Instead of releasing the emotion, as we would do if we're on the Divine Love Path, we have this habit instead of closing down our emotions, staying in the relationship, but we have this hurt in us about the relationship. And so I could be blocked towards the person because of just that one issue. There is this anger or frustration or fear in me about what they've done, maybe even ten or fifteen years ago. It could be something long term like that, and it often is. (00:09:50:00)

My suggestion, before you ever leave anybody in a relationship, is to start addressing the issues like that. If there is an issue in the past where the person has cheated, or the person has done something that has caused a lot of blockages in yourself, a lot of shutdown; let's say they've been a little bit abusive in the past or maybe when they get drunk they get angry with you all the time, all of those kinds of things, then my suggestion is to deal with every one of those issues in truth. Truth is such an important thing; deal with it in truth and in humility.

3.1. Dealing with issues with truth and humility

In humility we'd say, "That's my Law of Attraction. I need to look at something inside of myself emotionally as to what went on there." And in truth I would speak to the other person and say, "I am still upset with the fact that you did that. I am still angry about that," or, "I'm still sad about that. I still have some grief and I've blocked myself off emotionally from you now because of that. I realise that's my issue and I need to work through that, but I don't feel that you are even sorry for what you did." Those might be the feelings you have and so forth. So explain what's going on with the person and try to work through the issue with them. Now in the attempt of trying to work through the blocked emotion with them, it will become very clear, very rapidly, whether the person wants to do that with you or not. (00:11:23:00)

The loving way to address issues in a relationship is in truth and humility

Now if the person doesn't want to do that with you, it will become very obvious that they have no desire to actually deal with this particular thing in truth and therefore you're going to have to work through the issue yourself at some point, and by yourself. Because if you want to be close to God you're going to have to work through this issue. Whether the other person is sorry for what they did or not you're still going to have to work through the issue. But then you'll have to start looking at the possibility of their getting angry back at you and their pressuring or controlling or being manipulative back in return with you; what are you going to do then? Obviously that's not loving behaviour either and you'll have to start to address that issue. (00:12:07:00)

So in starting to address that issue, it will become very clear over time whether you should be with this person or not. But remember that love is the real bond between the two of you. If you know that you are no longer in love with this person, from God's perspective the bond is broken. If you know that the person no longer loves you, then from God's perspective the bond is broken. It doesn't matter whether you've got a marriage certificate and it doesn't matter how long that marriage certificate has stood for, the bond is broken. Now you have one of two choices; you can re-establish the bond of love by working through it in truth and in humility and in love with the person or you can separate; that's really your choice in the end. (00:13:04:00)

3.2. It is beneficial to stay in a relationship with someone and work through the issues, whether they are your soulmate or not

Now the problem is that a lot of people are then going to say about me, "Oh yeah, she went along to AJ's sessions for a year," (and in Joy's case five or six months), "and look what she's done now - she's left her husband after thirty years of marriage. AJ destroys marriages." That's the next supposition that comes from that. I know Joy doesn't feel that but whenever Joy has asked me a personal question about relationships I have always referred her back to this particular thing. "What about the love? Are you in love with this man? Is he loving towards you? What's going on?" And if you can deal with those issues, it will then become very plain whether this relationship can work whether you're soulmates or not.

Now if you know you are not soulmates, which is a lot different than hoping that you're not or hoping that you are, and if in fact you know who your soulmate is, and you know that you're not in love with the person you're with, then why are you still there? And my suggestion is, there'll be a lot of emotional reasons why you are still there. So I'm not suggesting you leave, what I'm suggesting is that you stick around and deal with those emotional reasons until you get to a point of making a decision inside of yourself as to what you should do. (00:14:31:00)

Now what might be some of the emotional reasons why I might stay with someone who I know doesn't love me? Well one might be that I love them and I still feel that feeling for them and so I stay with them hoping. So what am I addicted to? Hope, in the end. I'm hoping that they're going to love me at some point in the future and that if I do enough for them and if I please them enough and all that, eventually they'll come to see that I'm a nice guy or a nice woman and they'll love me.

Now is that loving to yourself? Obviously not, so also in this question of love I would have to look at "Am I being loving to myself by staying here?" If you know that your partner doesn't love you but you stay in the relationship then there are obviously some quite strong emotional addictions to allow yourself to work through. Work through those addictions in the relationship if you can, because you've attracted the relationship. It's a perfect time to work through them. Work through those addictions and when you come out the other side of those addictions and release them, it will become very plain to you whether it's a workable relationship or not.

But yesterday I was suggesting to you the fact that there is this soulmate side of you. When you start opening this soulmate side of you, what will happen is that every other attraction that you've ever had will start to die. When I say die it's not some kind of destruction that's terrible, you just no longer feel attracted to lots of different people anymore. There's only one person you end up being attracted to and that is the other half of your soul, your soulmate. When that happens, you get into this state where you realise that for you there is only one kind of attraction that really has any long term longing and that is the hunger for your soulmate, the longing for your soulmate. (00:15:06:00)

Now when you get into that state, it will become very obvious to you whether the person you are currently with is your soulmate or not. Until that point, until you actually have a soulmate longing, you are not going to know whether the person you're with is your soulmate or not. Even if they are your soulmate you still won't know until that part of your soul is open. This is why it's so good to be in your current relationship and work through the issues until you get to the point where you know "This isn't right." When you know it isn't right, obviously that is the time for you to leave.

And it doesn't matter what anybody else around you says. The religious people around you may say, "No, you're married for life, you've got to stick with that." Your husband or wife might say, "Hang on a sec but I still love you." That doesn't matter either, because at the end of the day when you know inside of yourself that you no longer have love and desire, and by the way this includes a sexual desire for your partner, then there is something wrong going on inside of yourself that you're shutting down and you need to look at that. Because in the end we do need to have this strong emotional, sexual desire for our partner that we're living with, and if we don't have that we need to spend a lot of time looking at why.

When two people in a relationship don't desire each other in a passionate way, it actually shuts each person down emotionally in the relationship. Any of you who've lived in that kind of relationship know that. As soon as you start detuning from your partner sexually and emotionally, why are you now in the relationship? It now just becomes almost like a friendship that you could have with a guy down the street, and once the sexual relationship stops and the emotional relationship stops, what's going on now? It's just a workable solution for some kind of problem that you're still not letting go of inside yourself. (00:18:46:00)

Allow yourself to understand that your life will change as you follow the Divine Love Path. It's going to change and it's not going to be my fault! (Laughter) Many of you think it is my fault and many other people who watch you think it's my fault, but it actually isn't going to be my fault. It's going to be God's Truth resonating in your soul so much that eventually you feel you can do certain things and can't do other things. And then you'll feel drawn into doing that yourself and I'll have nothing to do with that process aside from on an occasion when you might ask me "What's the loving thing to do?" and I'll just ask you some questions. I am not recommending here to anybody to leave the person they're with or to stay with them. What I'm asking you to do is to live in love and to do that in a passionate way. If you can't do that in a passionate way, look at the emotional reasons that are inside of yourself why you can't and then you'll address a lot of the issues. (00:19:54:00)

3.3. The pain of separation comes from addictions being triggered

Now obviously for Joy you've been working through this issue. You've felt there's a disconnection of love between yourself and your partner, is that right?

Participant: Yep, that would be true.

And so that has caused you then to go, "Okay what am I doing in this relationship when it's not loving?" And part of the question you asked is, "Why am I then grieving the fact that I've left the relationship?" Well oftentimes when we realise the truth and we actually act upon truth, all of the addictions start getting triggered one after the other quite rapidly. So one of the addictions that you know that you've had is this addiction to economic security? (00:20:42:00)

Participant: Yes, like leaving my home and garden and chooks.

Yes, there's been an attachment to your home, which you have left in this process? Yes, so you've left your home as well and there's an attachment to that. In a guy's case there might be an acknowledgement of, "I'm going to have to split in half everything that's been created." And there's this great big feeling of, "But I created that and now half of it's gone." There's a big loss. There are a lot of loss type emotions, grieving style emotions that we'll go through. Obviously we can't live thirty years of life and then just walk away from that without actually feeling quite a lot of loss about what was created in that thirty years. But the key is to have the courage to still live in truth and to stay in truth. (00:21:40:00)

4. How to deal with your relationship in a loving way if you find your soulmate

Now what I've noticed happen a lot is that people may meet their soulmate and then they use that as an excuse to do all sorts of immoral things. Now what I mean by that is, they use that as an excuse to have an affair, an excuse to still live with a partner they don't love because they get a meal on the table or a safe and secure environment to live in. They use it as an excuse for all sorts of unjustified immoral things.

Now if we are really living in truth, we would never be able to do that. So the moment that you meet your soulmate and you're in a different relationship, you'd be going, "Okay, I know this person's my soulmate because of all these different things I feel with this person. Why am I now treating my partner in an unloving way?" You see, as soon as I start sacrificing love of the person that I was with, I'm out of harmony with Divine Love straight away. (00:22:52:00)

Now in that state, all these spirits around you can start hooking into this untruthful state you're in and unfortunately in that state this is where children get hurt, family members get hurt and so forth. The truth is that you can meet your soulmate and still be in another relationship and work through the issues and stay in a state of love and truth and it will not damage your children at all emotionally. You can do that, but the majority of people don't.

For the majority of people, one or both parties start getting angry and upset with each other for the discoveries that they've made. Before you know it they're at loggerheads with each other, throwing stuff at each other, perhaps not physically but certainly emotionally, trying to get other people to influence their opinion about the person that they used to be with and before you know it the children, who are unfortunately the people watching and living with all of these emotions flying back and forth, are the ones getting damaged the most.

If both parents owned their emotions in a relationship and if the relationship disbands because of different discoveries each person makes, they are really in the end discoveries about love. If they both remain in a loving state and in truth, no harm whatsoever will come to their children, but the problem is that most of the time we do not stay in a state of love and truth. We go into a state of anger, resentment, frustration, annoyance, rage, hatred and under all of those circumstances there is huge damage done to children as a result. (00:24:39:00)

So you can actually go through the process of realising that your current relationship is not the relationship that you want for the rest of your existence, and you can leave that relationship in the most loving possible way and go through lots of grief as a result of leaving it because it will confront every one of those addictions that were there before. If you're willing to face all of those things emotionally, you cannot damage any other person or your own soul in the process.

Conversely, you can meet your soulmate, enter into an affair with them, damage the relationship with the person you're with by lying to them and cheating on them, damage the children by lying to them, and cause all sorts of mayhem if you don't live in harmony with truth and love with regard to that process. Really the choice is up to you when you go through all of this and we've got to really start addressing the emotional reasons inside of ourselves as to why we would like to do it that way.

So as soon as you emotionally and sexually connect to another person other than the person you're living with in a relationship, straight away you have broken the bond of love between yourself and the person you are living with. From God's perspective, the bond is broken. You can re-establish that bond by working through the emotions. So you may realise through the process, "Actually I do love my partner and I was just angry," or, "I was afraid of this," or, "I was needing security that I didn't have." Whatever the real emotional reason was, work through that. And you'd also have to work through the issues of being repentant and sorrowful if you chose to do that with that partner. (00:26:35:00)

But the truth is, if you act openly and honestly, honourably and with integrity in each situation, then that is the smallest chance for damage or danger in your relationship and also with your children being harmed as well, if you have children.

5. Developing a pure longing for our soulmate

Now there was a third part of your question. I can't quite remember it again?

Participant: If you know who your soulmate is and you long for that soulmate and they're in a marriage, then when does just longing for them become unloving?

Yep, it's a very good question. What's the difference between longing for somebody and then starting to develop an emotional relationship with that person, and how does that affect the situation?

5.1. The scenario of our being in a relationship when we find our soulmate

Now let's first look at it from the point of view that I'm in a relationship as well. I start off in a relationship and they are in a relationship so we'll just extend it a little bit. Imagine I'm in a relationship and I realise that my partner's not my soulmate and I work through a lot of my soulmate-based emotions and eventually the two of us start realising, because we might be working through it together, that we're not soulmates, and we decide that we're going to break up, so we go through that process emotionally. (00:28:00:00)

Now obviously if I stay in love and truth with my partner, that process will happen in the best possible manner that it could happen. Now of course if the person themselves is not happy with that choice then there's going to be some projections of anger and rage at me isn't there? If I'm making the choice unilaterally then obviously the other person is going to be quite upset about that. Now if they were on the Divine Love Path they would need to work through their emotions about that. If they're not on the Divine Love Path and all they feel they can do is just damage me by hurling emotions, then I would have to work my way through those emotions that are a part of my Law of Attraction. (00:28:37:00)

You see a lot of times we've lived in relationships for many years where we haven't loved them and there is a certain compensation involved in that process. Once I come to terms with the fact that I haven't loved them and I go to tell them and they say, "Well how long haven't you loved me?" and I say, "Oh, ten years," of course they're going to be hurt, aren't they? They've been in a relationship for ten years with someone who hasn't loved them, who they thought loved them. So of course they're going to have some emotions about that and of course they're going to have some anger about that.

In a way, it's almost justified anger towards us because we have actually harmed ten years of their life by not telling them ten years ago that that is how we felt. I have actually affected their free will by not telling them the truth about how I felt ten years ago, so obviously there's going to be some kind of stuff coming back from that person to me. And if I'm humble and I'm open and I'm loving, I'll work through all of that and I'll feel repentant for that, because I'm going to need to feel repentant for affecting someone's life for ten years without them knowing; I'm going to need to be repentant for that.

5.2. The scenario of our soulmate being in a relationship

So I go through all of that emotionally and I come out the other end where I'm separated from my partner, whoever my partner was, and I'm now an individual. I keep working my way through my emotional stuff and then I start having these realisations of who my soulmate is and yes, it feels really certain to me, but it just so happens that my soulmate who in this case I will give as a woman, is in a marriage. What do I do? Do I develop a soulmate longing for her and what is a soulmate longing anyway? Because that's really part of the question, isn't it?

A man can find his soulmate while she is in a relationship with another man

Well, a soulmate longing is me dealing with all of my emotional injuries towards both genders. So I have to deal with all my emotional injuries towards the male and all of my emotional injuries towards the female. And at the soul level, not at the physical level or the intellectual level, but at the soul level, I am pushing out this energy that I have healed a lot of my issues about myself as a person and I've also emotionally healed a lot of my issues about women generally. (00:31:13:00)

Now what will happen when I'm in that state is that every single person around me will know these changes have happened, not by me telling them but by feeling them from me. So every woman will come up and say, "Gee you're a bit different from when I saw you last time. Last time I felt quite a lot of anger from you." And I'd say, "Yeah well I dealt with a lot of anger about women and stuff like that and I worked my way through that." And they say, "Yeah, wow you're a lot different than you used to be."

And then another person will come up and say, "You know before you always used to back-pedal as a man and you always used to be conciliatory to the woman, but now I see you're taking more control of your own life; looking after yourself where you always wanted the woman to look after you before, and I think it's really good." "Yeah I dealt with this emotion and I dealt with that emotion and now I've worked my way through those issues and now it feels quite different for me." Just you dealing with your emotions, means that every single person around you will feel the difference in you. (00:32:20:00)

Now many of you have already started experiencing that and sometimes they see the difference in you and they don't like it very much, because many of them are addicted to what you were before. But they still notice that you've changed and that's a really good sign; when you're changing it's a really good sign that things are improving.

So I've dealt with a lot of my emotional injuries. Now what's coming out of me is this openness towards my soulmate, because I've dealt with a lot of the injuries inside of myself towards the masculine and towards the feminine, and now there's this openness towards the reception of my soulmate.

Now my soulmate is going to feel that. There's nothing I can do to stop that from happening. She's going to feel that occur. It doesn't matter whether she's in a relationship or not in a relationship; she is still going to feel something going on. Some changes will start happening in her own life because remember this soulmate, at the soul level, is just one half of me. So how could she not feel what I'm going through in the changes that I'm making towards her? She's definitely going to feel it. (00:34:10:00)

A soulmate will feel changes in the other half of their soul because they are two halves of the same soul

5.3. The scenario of not knowing who your soulmate is

Let's say I don't know who she is at this point. I could then start just developing a longing that I meet her and connect with her at the soul level, couldn't I? Now the truth is that I don't know whether she's married, she's single, she might be in a lesbian relationship, she might have five guys on the hook at the same time, I don't know. I don't know what she's going to be like really at this point aside from what I can feel from her. But I'm still allowed to have my desires, aren't I? Of course I am. I'm allowed to have my desires and to have a desire or a longing for my soulmate. I don't know the situation she's in, she might be in all sorts of situations, who really knows. The fact is that because I've healed the majority of emotions that are within me, there's an automatic openness between myself and her now that she has to feel because she's the other half of me. (00:35:27:00)

The other thing is that because of that automatic openness and because now I'm starting to develop a longing for my soulmate, she's going to feel that too. And whether she knows me or not, things will start changing in her life as a result of that if she's sensitive emotionally to this going on. She will start feeling things are not quite right in her current relationship in some way, and she'll start feeling all different things inside herself about things not being quite right. And she'll start going through these emotions. I don't need to know her at this point; I don't even need to know who she is. That will be an automatic part of the process because that's how God has designed it to be. (00:36:11:00)

Now the question really is about whether I know her or not isn't it? Up until this point, let's assume I don't know her, does that sound loving? That I've developed my own soul's desire, that I long for my soulmate. She's the other half of me, and of course I have the right to long for the other half of me, have I not? That's a loving thing; I can long for the other half of me. I've worked through my emotional injuries so that means that I am now not projecting neediness or control at her or manipulation or any of those things, I'm not trying to force her in any way to do what I want, because that would be unloving too and that would mean I would need to deal with that emotion inside of me too.

By this stage I've healed quite a lot of my stuff so from the spheres perspective I'd probably be third sphere, fourth sphere, maybe fifth sphere of the spirit world at this point where I've dealt with quite a lot of my emotional injuries at this point.

Now I know that ideally it doesn't happen this way. We'll put the other ways that all this can happen aside for a moment. What I'm describing here is how I'm focusing on my own healing and as a result of focusing on my own healing and my own relationship with God, my desire for my soulmate will grow inside of myself and there's no one to project it to because I don't know who they are. My desire will just continue to grow, but my soulmate will obviously feel this longing because she's the other half of me. (00:37:50:00)

5.4. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is

So, what happens now if I know who she is? Now there are some moral issues involved, particularly if she's in a relationship. But even if I know who she is and she's not in a relationship, there are still some moral issues involved actually. Because let's say for a start that she's not in a relationship, what could I do? Well I could start phoning her and ringing her and emailing her and say, "We could hook up and whatever, or get together, or at least meet." What is that doing right at that moment? I'm now projecting my needs onto her. Is this a loving thing? No.

What would be better is for me just to say, "Could I meet up with you? Because I have something to tell you." So you go up and sit down with her and say, "I've done a lot of emotional work over the last few years and I've worked my way through this and that and whatever other things I've worked my way through, and I'm not in a relationship anymore. And what I've come to realise is that there's actually one person that God has created for me, who is my soulmate, my other half if you like, and what I've come to realise is that it's you." (Laughter) (00:39:03:00)

So you'd say, "I've come to realise that it's you and I don't want you to do anything about it. I'm just telling you because I want to tell you and I want to give you the opportunity to know." But as soon as I project an expectation upon them that they then act upon the knowledge that I've just given them, straight away I'm out of harmony with Divine Love. So it's one thing to just say the truth, "I know you're my soulmate," and quite another then to say, "Can we get together?" because now what I'm doing is projecting an expectation upon them and I'm not leaving the choice up to them as to what they want to do about that information. (00:40:11:00)

Now at that point, if you start projecting upon them something like, "I would like to hook up with you," and then you don't hear from them and so you send them another email, another message, or another message on the phone, or you go around and knock on the door, now what are you starting to do? To be frank you're harassing them, right? And if you're harassing them, obviously that's not harmonious with love either. There's an emotion inside of myself that needs to be healed if I want to harass somebody.

5.5. The example of when AJ met Mary

When I first met Mary I knew she was my soulmate, but I could see that Mary was in some emotional turmoil from a previous relationship and other things like that and so I didn't tell her that she was my soulmate. I now regret not telling her that she was my soulmate, but I just felt that she would never accept me anyway (this is my unhealed emotion). She would never accept me anyway, she's still hurt from a previous relationship that I could feel she was working through and I just felt like, "Well at least I now know who my soulmate is"; that's the feeling I had. But I didn't project anything at Mary at all. I didn't even tell her that she was my soulmate, one of the people I was with guessed that I knew it was Mary, but that's about it. I really didn't even talk about it much with anyone though obviously there was a big change in me in that other people could see that I'd met my soulmate. And so if someone said, "Have you met your soulmate? I would say, "Yeah I've met my soulmate." (00:42:02:00)

Now at that point we could go down this track of being very, very demanding upon this person, couldn't we? And very controlling and very manipulative; we could do all sorts of things which would all be out of harmony with love, or we could in the end have courage (which I did not have by the way) and go to them and just say, "You're my soulmate, I know you're my soulmate. I don't know what to do about it, but I'm just saying you're my soulmate." And just let the chips fall where they may. Honestly, the most direct, honest and open approach is the one that's in most harmony with God's Laws, and because it's most in harmony with God's Laws, there's a higher likelihood that everything will happen a lot more smoothly than if we do something that's out of harmony with God's Laws. (00:42:57:00)

Now ironically with Mary, if I had said that to her, Mary would probably have had a lot less trouble with me afterwards than she actually did have because it would have given her an opportunity to hear straight from me how I felt. For us that didn't occur, but what I'm recommending is to go ahead and do that yourself. But if you're a guy like me who had a lot of self esteem issues, and you felt like your soulmate would probably reject you and all of those kinds of things, then you won't be able to do that. You'll probably first have to go home and have some cries like I did and work your way through that emotion before you'll be able to feel like you can do that. (00:43:48:00)

5.5.1. A true soulmate longing is a desire to feel all our own feelings for our soulmate

Mary: Can I talk about this issue of longing? Because I feel you have had a strong connection with your soulmate longing all your life. We're in a relationship and I find it quite confronting because a longing is not a need or a demand, so even after you met me you still longed for me and that wasn't a projection at me; it was a longing. You didn't have a sense that I had to do anything but you were still in a state of longing and I believe it's a really beautiful state. It's like a childlike state that you had around me of wanting to know about me, of wanting to know me. It was very beautiful. Even though some people are quite critical of that now, I found it very beautiful to be the recipient of that.

Mary: But for me even when we're in a relationship, to be in a state of longing is a very vulnerable place, it's a place where you're without need but you're in pure desire for that other person. And just because you're in a relationship with your soulmate, it doesn't mean that your soulmate longing is established. As I'm working through a lot of my man issues, it still doesn't mean my soulmate longing starts. I have to deal with the fear of total openness and vulnerability. So I think when people talk about soulmate longing, it's really important to know what that state really is about and it's not an "Ooh I want that man" sort of feeling. (00:46:39:00)

What if I define it for you, what a soulmate longing is? What Mary says is very true; even being with your soulmate you may not have a soulmate longing. A soulmate longing is having a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for your soulmate. In other words it's not you automatically trying to connect with them and have them have feelings for you. This is about you developing within yourself a passionate desire to feel your own feelings about this one other person who you will eventually have in your life. That's all it is. And this passionate desire passes through you; it's not necessarily something that you're giving to the other person, it's passing through you and it's felt by you for the other person, feelings inside of yourself for the other person. (00:47:08:00)

Now one of the biggest things that shut down my longing was my grief for my soulmate. For many, many years I thought I had a longing for my soulmate when in reality I was acting upon my grief for my soulmate. In my case because I'm conscious of my soulmate leaving my life in the process of incarnation, there's this humongous grief inside of me about that and because of that grief that I was unwilling to feel I have actually been projecting neediness at my soulmate for almost all of my life.

Now of course my soulmate is feeling this projection and is she going to be attracted to that? No, of course not. I was actually repelling my soulmate with this needy emotion. Once I got to these realisations that I was projecting this needy emotion at my soulmate, and once I worked my way through that I then started to truly grieve the loss that I felt inside of me for her. Now that grief lasted nearly three and a half years of my crying most days, that's how much grief I have and I've still probably got a little bit left because I still feel it there inside of me, this grief about the loss of my soulmate. And I had to deal with a fair majority of that grief before I would even meet Mary, because up until that time I was projecting this need at her, trying to shut down my grief. She had a role up until that point, and that was that she would have to make me feel good, to get away from my grief about losing my soulmate.

Once I started to own my grief about losing my soulmate and really letting all of that go, which took me quite a few years, I then started to draw Mary and get close to Mary in our emotional state. She was overseas at the time but I started to feel her personality. I started to feel her personality again; it was like a memory process for me, and I started to feel her characteristics and attributes. I even started to feel a lot of the injuries that she had towards men and what she would have towards myself and things like that. I started to feel a lot more about that, because I was feeling my passionate desire for her. And I could even feel her blockages towards me. Every time I allowed myself to feel my passionate desire for her, I could feel the blockage that she had towards me, which naturally got me straight away to my grief because it was, "Oh my soulmate doesn't want me in her life." I could feel that. That caused me to go into this state of grief and feel more and more of my grief. (00:50:10:00)

When you think about it, having a longing for God is very similar to having a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for God. It's not about God's feelings for you initially when you long for God, it's about your longing for God. That's what draws the love to you, that's what draws the recipient's love to you. It is about having a passionate desire within yourself to experience the feelings that you actually have.

Now you can do that whether the person is in a relationship or not because at this point you're not projecting anything at the person. In fact you're projecting the least at them because you're owning and feeling all of your own emotions of longing. The irony is that when you passionately feel all of your own feelings about something, that's when everyone around you feels your feelings the least. In other words they don't feel it as a projection or anything like that, they can just feel it as love instead. There are no blockages between you and them when you do this. (00:51:28:00)

So when you have a passionate desire to feel your own emotions and a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for somebody, you are actually feeling what's inside of yourself for them and that feeling is allowed to grow and grow and grow as much as you desire that feeling to grow. To be frank with you, many of you will want to turn it off because you'll feel such a sense of loss because of some things that have happened in your parents' lives or whatever else. You'll feel these overwhelming emotions that you want to shut it all down. My suggestion is to stay open and vulnerable to it.

I had to stay open and vulnerable to the fact that my soulmate didn't want me and I could feel that, and allow myself to feel that. Even when I met her, at the point that I met her, I realised how much she didn't want me. Before then I was sort of flirting with the idea, "Well maybe I'm wrong, maybe she really does want me," but as soon as I met her I realised, "Wow, there's no longing there for me at all in my soulmate. None at all." I could feel there was no longing. Now there was lots of grief in me associated with that and I had to be vulnerable and open to experience that grief. I had to let myself feel how sad I felt about the fact that my own soulmate didn't even want to remember me and I went through lots and lots of different emotions about that. (00:52:52:00)

Now as I dealt with those emotions, her disinterest in me changed. It went from disinterest into anger. (Laughter) The reason it went from disinterest into anger was that she was now starting to feel some of these feelings inside of herself and that was triggering some of the grief that she didn't want to feel. So now she was starting to get into emotional turmoil, as I longed for her and just felt my own feelings. I didn't need to project it at her at all, I just longed for her and felt my own feelings of longing and that automatically causes the other person to start feeling some things inside of themselves, because the blockage between the two halves has been released.

5.6. Emotional blockages prevent soulmates from feeling each other

The only reason emotions are not permanently flowing between you and your soulmate right now is that you and your soulmate both have blockages towards each other. When you start pulling out those blockages, you can think of it like pulling out the barbs or the arrows of pain that are in you about connecting to this other person. When you pull them out yourself there's now an openness on your side towards your soulmate. You are now emotionally open to receiving them and emotionally open to giving to them without expectation. Now that has a huge effect on your soulmate; how can it not have a huge effect once you start doing this? In the end it really gets back down to, "How much am I willing to heal my own stuff? And how much am I willing to have a passionate desire to feel my own emotions for my soulmate?" That's really what it gets down to in the end, with respect to how we will come together in the future at some point. (00:54:54:00)

Now if I allow myself to do this, whether she's in a relationship or not things will start changing in her life. In my case I'm talking from a male's perspective, or if you're talking from a female's perspective, things will start changing in his life; his life will start changing because there's one person on this planet, who happens to be his other half, who no longer has a heap of blockages towards him. That is going to have a powerful effect on him and his life. Unfortunately he or she will often think that it's done without their will but that's how it goes because it's the whole soul that's got the will, not the two halves. The two halves certainly have will, but it's the entire soul that can feel its emotions. When one half of the soul stops being blocked to the other half of the soul, of course the other half of the soul's life is going to be affected by the process. (00:55:56:00)

5.7. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is and they're in a relationship

Let's say I now know who my soulmate is but they're in another relationship. There is still no harm in going up to them and saying, "I know you're my soulmate, I just want to tell you." What's the difference between their being in a relationship or not? If you have no expectation, all you're doing is presenting a truth to a person who happens to be your other half. In fact, don't they deserve the truth more than any other person in your life? Of course they do. So just go up and tell them. It needs a lot of courage to go up and tell them. But again, as soon as you have an expectation that they act upon the information that you've given them, what are you doing? You are being unloving to them and also to their partner; you're actually being unloving to two people - not just your soulmate but also whoever they're with. (00:57:08:00)

If your soulmate says, "Wow, yeah, I feel like you're my soulmate too, let's go and have an affair," obviously now both of you are being unloving to each other and also to the partner of your soulmate. You would have to go through quite a lot of different emotions to sort out the relationship. Now I've seen some people work through those emotions in one week. In the spirit world I have seen them work through it in one hour of your time here on Earth; one hour and bang, everything's dealt with basically. They've even been with a person in the spirit world for all of their life, like for hundreds of years sometimes, and then they meet their soulmate and they go bang, "You're my soulmate," and then they say to the partner, "We're not meant to be together, are we?" And sometimes they say, "No, we're not," and sometimes they say, "Yes, we are," but either way you can feel this strong bond between yourself and your soulmate once you're open to it emotionally and you'll know you've got to go. I've talked to a spirit who went in about thirty seconds. (Laughter)

5.7.1. An example of a soulmate couple AJ met in the spirit world

There was this couple who came to talk to me. The man was in the second sphere of the spirit world and the woman was in the hells of the spirit world because the man had been dominated by her all of his life, even in the spirit world. He decided he had to help her somehow and they both came to me because they wanted to know why she was in the hells when he was in a better place. So I told him that it was because she had dominated him all of his life and she's not sorry for that. And she got really upset with me about that but she stayed in the conversation.

Then I started talking to the man about the concept of soulmates and she said, "Oh, he's not my soulmate." She was in the hells and she said, "He's not my soulmate," and as soon as she said that a third spirit came along and said, "I'm your soulmate," and the woman, who'd been hanging around this man in the spirit world for seven years since she'd passed, her husband from Earth, pestering him and causing him lots of trouble, and still trying to get him to come down to her all the time, just ran off. That was the last he saw of her. And then I started talking to the man and he started realising that his soulmate wasn't actually a woman anyway, his soulmate was a male, and as soon as he had that realisation he found his own soulmate. These conversations happen! (Laughter) (01:00:02:00)

So can you see how rapidly in the spirit world it can all change? The reason it doesn't change as rapidly here is that we are often so addicted to all of these different emotions that we don't want to face, but by the time we pass a lot of these addictions have gone. For instance you're not going to be addicted to your house on 48 Cobble Drive down here when you pass, are you? You've given up that addiction, but on Earth do you think you're going to be addicted to that? Sure you are because it's a nice pretty house and you've spent thirty years building the garden, you want a half of it even if you're going. But in the spirit world you don't care about that; you wouldn't want a half of the house in the spirit world, would you? So why would you bother doing it here? You see a lot of times we have these unhealed emotions here on Earth that cause us to enter into these unloving transactions.

5.7.2. Loving behaviour for soulmates on Earth

Let's say I approached my soulmate and she's married and I just said, "Look, I feel you're my soulmate; I've realised that you're my soulmate. I've known it now for a while, I just wanted to tell you and I'll catch you later." (Laughter) Well you will catch her later, because you'll catch her sometime in the spirit world if it's not on Earth, so sooner or later she's yours. So you could just leave it at that, couldn't you? That's having no expectation of the outcome. (01:01:39:00)

She could then feel about it and go, "Wow, yeah I've always felt this sort of strange feeling with him," and she starts to feel about all of those things. But if she starts approaching you without discussing it with her husband, morally she's way out of line now. She would first have to go and talk to her husband and say, "You know I've started having some realisations that you and I are probably not meant to be together. There's this other guy who I've known from my childhood who I've never had a relationship with, or I have many years ago or whatever, but he's the man who I'm with and I know that he probably feels the same way. He told me a few weeks ago that he's feeling the same way." You'd be open and honest about the whole thing if you were dealing with things in love and in truth. But most of the time we don't want to deal with it in love and truth because we're afraid of the outcome. (01:02:35:00)

Let's say a man goes along and tells a woman that he's her soulmate and she's married. So she goes straight to her husband and says, "Look, this guy thinks he's my soulmate." She could easily do that, couldn't she? Why wouldn't she do that if she really loved him? Of course she would do that if she really loved him. Now she might not believe the man is her soulmate, she might not believe him at all, but she still needs to tell her husband because there should be openness and honesty and truth within the partnership. If there's not then you have to start questioning what kind of relationship there is.

She could just go straight up to him and say, "This guy came up to me the other day and he said he thinks he's my soulmate. What do you think of that?" And she could even discuss it with her husband and then she could wave it all off. She could do anything; she could wave it all off, she could think about it, she could have a realisation herself, who knows what might happen after that? And if I'm her soulmate, it is none of my business what happens after that actually, and if I pester her, try to control her, try to manipulate her, try to influence her in any way, all I am doing is having a lack of integrity that sooner or later is damaging my own soul, which means it's also damaging her.

So I can stop doing all of that and just state the truth. If she rings me up, the first thing I would say is, "Does your husband know you're ringing me up?" and if she says, "No," then I'd say, "Well I can't have this conversation with you. He needs to know that you're ringing me." That's what I would do if I had integrity. But if I didn't have integrity, I'd go, "Oh it's so exciting, my soulmate's ringing up now," and I'd talk to her for ten minutes before I realised actually, "This is out of line because her husband doesn't even know she's calling me. That's why it's out of line." Then I need to address that issue. (01:04:43:00)

The problem is that we often become so enthusiastic about it that we start compromising morals and we start compromising truth, compromising integrity, which is all compromising love in the end. And as soon as we compromise love there can only be a poor outcome, even if it's with our soulmate. So my suggestion is to never do that, never compromise those things. Be in integrity.

5.8. The example of when AJ met Mary (continued)

What happened with myself and Mary was that Mary sends me a little email on Valentine's Day, February 14th it was, saying, "I heard from my parents that you think you and I have some kind of soul connection. Please tell me: I want to know firstly what you think about this and secondly why you have not discussed this with me yourself." (Laughter) That was Mary's email. And she was spot on right in both cases; firstly why haven't I discussed it with her myself? Because I was gutless and had a heap of emotions to work through, basically that's the truth. I had to work through those emotions, which I did do for that month and a half before she contacted me, and then she asked me a question.

Now everyone who was with me at the time said to me, "Don't go too heavy on her; don't tell her what's really going down. Just give her a little bit and then she'll ask for a bit more," and I'm going, "What? No I'm just going to lay it all out on the table," which is what I should have done at the start because that's the thing that's most harmonious with love and truth. So I emailed her back and said to her, "Yes I believe you are my soulmate. I'm Jesus by the way," which she knew anyway, "and I feel you are Mary Magdalene," and then I just described how I felt. It's an email that she recently read again and she still cries a lot about it actually when she reads it. It was twelve pages long and I just said what I felt to her.

Now I still had no expectation. I didn't think that anything would come of it because I could still feel some connection she had to an old relationship; I could still feel she had quite a lot of personal anger with me from our first century memories and quite a lot of stuff like that. What I felt was that Mary would leave Australia, go back overseas to a refugee camp somewhere and work there for a few years, and over that time she'd probably think about it. And I was hopeful that at some point in the future if I was travelling past her in one of the round-the-world trips I was doing, I might be able to pop in and say hello. That was basically the most that I was feeling would probably happen. And I was just allowing myself to feel the sadness of that as well, to feel the sadness that, "Nothing is going to happen from here. I've just written twelve pages that are going to freak her out something shocking." And the truth is that the twelve pages did freak her out because it connected her with some emotions within herself that she then started to feel which really stressed her out at the time. So I was there, I had written this twelve page response to Mary's email and I had described my feelings. That's all I did, I just described my feelings. I also said to her that she didn't have to trust me, she didn't have to do anything, she didn't have to respond, I was just happy that she'd given me an opportunity to express my feelings and I also apologised to her that I hadn't expressed my feelings sooner and she had to hear my feelings from somebody else, which is something that had upset Mary.

And so at that point I didn't really expect any reply or anything like that, I just felt my feelings about it. I was overseas by now and Mary was in Australia, and then a few days later I got another email from Mary asking a few more questions, which I replied to directly, again not with any expectations. And then Mary started asking more questions, which I replied to directly, but in the process we basically started to develop a friendship and eventually I said, "Can I call you?" And it took about a week for Mary to decide whether that was on or not, didn't it, darling? And of course Mary wasn't in a relationship. If Mary had been in a relationship of course I would not have even spoken to her again until she had owned up to the person she was in a relationship with what was actually going on. But because she wasn't in a relationship, we could have a free conversation, which we did and the free conversation just grew from there. (01:10:22:00)

Now Mary appropriately pointed out to me that I did not say to her what I felt initially, and I should have, and that's why I'm telling you as well that it would be the wisest thing to do if you know who your soulmate is, to just go and tell them the truth, without expectation. Because when I look back at that, I have a bit of sadness about it too because I feel like it would have been much better. Now I don't know if anything would have been different but it would have been much better for my own sake if I had actually just come out and said the truth.

As it turned out it was Mary's parents who told her that I felt she was my soulmate and they found out from somebody else who told them. So she was eventually told in a really long-winded way, and I feel it would have been much better coming from me than coming through this roundabout circuitous route, which was obviously quite upsetting for Mary. Looking back on it I can see it was totally driven by my own emotional injuries. (01:11:42:00)

5.9. Developing the soulmate relationship

As these relationships start growing we can start working through the different emotions and when I say growing, initially for many people when you meet your soulmate there are going to be anger and other types of emotions to work your way through. A lot of people think it's going to be like, "Ah, I've met my soulmate, everything's wonderful" from that moment on. Well that cannot be the case because you've got emotional injuries inside of you and they also have emotional injuries inside of them, and error only comes out of you with pain. Error creates pain inside of you and the only way error can come out is in a painful manner. So I've got to accept the fact that if I'm going to come together with my soulmate there are going to be some painful emotions that I'm going to have to deal with myself, and my soulmate is going to have some painful emotions that she's going to have to deal with herself because we have this pain in us from the error that's in us and we need to release it through this painful process. It's just the same way as if we have a passionate desire for God and we'd be growing towards God and releasing our pains along the way, exactly the same way;. That's the beauty of the soulmate relationship; it just helps you grow on the path towards God as well. (01:13:10:00)

By the time I've done all of that, in the end I'm actually feeling all of my emotions in humility and truth, as I described. I have this passionate desire burning in my own heart for my soulmate, irrespective to what she has going on for me. And if she has nothing going on for me, I feel my grief about that. I don't project it at her. I don't blame her and say, "You're my soulmate, you should love me!" I don't do all of that stuff. As soon as I feel that, I'm out of harmony with love and I need to look at myself and say, "Why am I projecting this terrible emotion that my soulmate has to do what I want? Why am I doing that? There's an unloving emotion inside of me causing that to occur." (01:14:02:00)

5.10. An example of a lady having expectations of her soulmate

Participant: A while back I told you I thought I knew who my soulmate was. I'm doubting that now but I'm not sure whether I'm doubting it because it's just too painful. A lot of things have happened in the last couple of weeks; I have told him I thought he was my soulmate, but I had huge expectations so he shut down and I emotionally melted down all over the place. He really doesn't want anything to do with me but we do share a house so it's a little complicated. A couple of weeks ago he actually pushed me to go out with another man.

Which, if the soulmate part of your soul was open, you wouldn't have actually done.

Participant: Sorry?

If the soulmate part of your soul was open, you wouldn't have actually gone out with the other man even if your soulmate pushed you into doing it.

Participant: Gee, you know everything, don't you? Because I didn't even tell you; I went and had coffee with him two days ago. (01:15:25:00)

Exactly! (Laughter) But can you see that you need to go into the meltdown grief that you were feeling? That's the emotion that you're avoiding now and you need to go into that emotion. Many people do this; they go and tell their soulmate that, the soulmate has no response and the person then just goes into this rage and anger and meltdown about the fact that the soulmate is not responding. Well that's your projection at your soulmate that you need to heal before your soulmate's ever going to respond.

There was one lady I knew overseas, as soon as she told her soulmate and he told her he wasn't really interested, she then just pursued him relentlessly. Eventually she got him to go to bed with her and he still didn't treat her very well at all; they're not together and she still pursued him. That is totally out of harmony with love. Also, even if my soulmate tells me that I should go and be with somebody else, if I'm connected to my soulmate and open at my soul level to my soulmate, I would never be able to do that. (01:16:34:00)

Participant: Yes I understand that from yesterday, from the first session of the soulmate relationship discussion. Yesterday was a great eye opener for me and I realise all that. I'm still very confused though but now I understand that all I have to do is work on my emotions. I was a little confused about my feelings, working on my feelings of desire for my soulmate without projecting, because honestly a friend of mine told me the other day that I was projecting and I didn't realise that I was projecting. So I have to learn that I'm projecting, I have to recognise that I'm projecting. So now I'm just really in a state of fear about all sorts of things happening at the moment, and I just don't know where to go with it. I know intellectually I have to just work on all my own feelings and I hope I'm doing that. Is that the solution? (01:17:46:00)

It is the solution but let's talk about your personal situation a bit more because it does illustrate some really important points in terms of what we need to do emotionally.

5.10.1. Being rejected by her soulmate

So here's your guy over there, here's you (AJ draws on the whiteboard) and you go and tell him the truth that you feel he's your soulmate. At that point everything's fine. You're in harmony with truth, and you've told the truth to this man, so everything's fine at this point. But he then responds with rejection. He rejects you. What's playing out now is your relationship with your father.

A man rejects a woman who tells him that he is her soulmate

Participant: Yes, I know that, he's the perfect reflection of my father and what I'm trying to get from my father.

Okay. Now if your soulmate rejects you, trust me, it's one of the most difficult emotions to deal with inside of yourself, because you feel the pain of the other half of yourself rejecting you which is a really, really big emotion. Now if I haven't dealt with rejection of my father before I meet my soulmate, then my soulmate is going to be the person who actually triggers it. So what I need to do is let myself feel those emotions of rejection. But when you told him you actually went in with an expectation, which is unloving in the first place. You went in with an expectation. Going in with an expectation that was already unloving is of course probably going to evoke an unloving response. It's very rare for an unloving action to evoke a loving response; the other person has to be pretty developed if you get a loving response out of them after an unloving action. (01:19:48:00)

So you get a reaction of rejection, which is actually an unhealed father emotion inside of you. It's something that's not healed inside of you that needs to be healed. So let yourself go ahead and feel that overwhelming experience that you believe this person's your soulmate and you just got rejected by them. How does it make you feel about yourself if your own soulmate's going to reject you? That's pretty powerful isn't it? Can you see how there must be some pretty deep emotions there?

What happened inside of you is that you didn't want to feel those emotions. Now as soon as we try to block off the emotion we're instantly projecting. The first person you're going to be projecting at is the person who rejected you. You're going to be projecting at him quite strongly. Now your first response might be anger or to try to withdraw and run away or whatever, but whatever it is it's still a projection at them, which would be better served if you could just start to heal this rejection emotion by feeling it. So just have some good cries. (01:21:01:00)

As soon as an unhealed emotion is blocked and not felt it is projected at the other person

When I felt rejection from my soulmate, which happened about four or five months after we got together, when we parted for three months, I cried for five hours a day for three months. Some people would say that I'm a bit of a tear or whatever, but that's what happened. I just cried for five hours a day for three months and I went through lots of different realisations in the process. One of the biggest realisations that I had at the end of the process was that I was actually being unloving to her and I started going through a lot of emotions about these projections still coming out of me towards my soulmate. And I went into those emotions and I felt them all and then I started connecting to the truth and that was that I actually believed that I was unworthy of my soulmate. And then I started feeling all those groups of emotions and after I came out of that, I knew my soulmate would call me in a few days' time, I just knew. And sure enough Mary rang me two days later.

5.10.2. Being rejected by her father

Participant: Just in the last couple of years, I have been saying to my father, "I love you dad" and his response is, "Thank you". I've been trying to get him to say I love you...

Exactly.

Participant: ...because I don't remember him ever saying I love you to me. He could have when I was a little girl and I know I've been trying to get this man to say I love you. (01:22:49:00)

You've been trying to manipulate him into telling you that he loves you and the truth is that when you heal the emotion inside of you, he will probably then automatically tell you without your manipulating him into it.

Participant: I'm concerned that because this man is reflecting my father to me so strongly that that could be the reason why I think he's my soulmate and he isn't? So do you want to tell me whether he is or he isn't?

Nope. (Laughter)

Participant: Okay I'll take it as a positive. (Laughter) No I mean as a positive that I have to work on my emotions to find out.

You can see why politicians just say, "No comment"! Any comment is taken as something. Yeah, so what I'm saying to you is, "How are you really going to know that this man is your soulmate until you heal this emotion with regard to your father?" And also, even if he is your soulmate, this emotion with regard to your father still has to be healed before anything is going to change. So either way you still need to let yourself feel this terrible emotion of being rejected by the person you think is your soulmate. (01:24:07:00)

A lot of people go, "Oh, my soulmate wouldn't have rejected me so they can't be my soulmate." What? Yes, your soulmate is just as capable of rejecting you as everybody else. How is that logical? There's no logic in that. It's just a matter of dealing with this emotion. "I need to deal with this emotion, which comes from my father," as you correctly identified, not from this man. All he is doing is reflecting it, and by the way "I also have to deal with the fact that I had an unloving expectation. Why did I have that?" There's another emotion in that, and you need to work through that particular emotion. (01:24:45:00)

Now the more I do that, the more I work my way through my unhealed emotion, no matter what my soulmate does, they will eventually be drawn to me because I've dealt with those emotions. They are not going to be drawn to me by my browbeating them.

Participant: Oh no, it definitely doesn't work. Next time I say, "I love you dad," I want to say to him, "Why don't you say 'I love you' back to me?" But I'm too scared; I don't know whether that's right or not.

Can I just address your first comment though? The truth is that you don't love your dad.

Participant: That's probably very true.

So you're telling him a lie just to get a response that in the end would also be a lie. Obviously that's not going to work out. The time you will love your dad is when you truly feel all of the healed emotions inside of you; all the unhealed stuff has gone and you've healed your stuff towards your dad. At that moment you will love your dad and at that moment your dad will probably feel it from you. He might not respond to it but he will at least feel it from you. At the moment all he's feeling from you is anger and he knows just as well as you do that it's not real. (01:26:04:00)

5.10.3. Feeling rejected by God

Participant: Okay, yeah. I was talking to Mary before and something profound happened yesterday. I realised through someone else's comment that I didn't have a connection with God and I couldn't work out why. I realised this morning that I don't have an emotional connection towards God and how that's how I feel about my father. I feel like I wasn't given an emotional connection from him and I can't give him an emotional connection, and it's the same with my mother. So when someone said to me the other day, "Think of God as a woman," I thought, "That's not going to work either." So I want to open up an emotional connection with God because I know that if I do, this is going to help everything else too. So how do I open up an emotional connection to God? (01:26:59:00)

That's a very good question. The way you do it is by relieving the blockage. If God's a male what's God going to do to you?

Participant: Reject me.

Yes. You need to feel the emotion of rejection by God. So even though it's not true that God is rejecting you, you've got to forget that. The truth is that you feel rejected by God so feel that emotion, feel it and when you feel it and connect to it, you'll connect to this rejection by your dad and you'll release the causal emotion of that. At the moment you're trying to establish an emotional connection without releasing the blockage to the connection and it's the blockage that prevents this emotion from flowing in you. (01:27:48:00)

An emotional connection cannot be formed until the unhealed blocked emotion is experienced

You see, many of us do the same thing. We think we can intellectually establish a relationship with someone, or that we can intellectually establish a relationship with God. The truth is that you can't. It all has to be done emotionally. If I have a blockage inside of me to feeling that God is going to reject me, I may try to skip over that, so, "No, God won't reject me. I know the truth - God doesn't reject anyone." That's immaterial; the feeling inside of me is that God has rejected me. I need to feel that feeling completely. "God's rejected me." Go into that feeling and release that feeling and when you release that feeling the error that God's going to reject me is gone and at that moment you can have a longing for God and feel some Divine Love flow through you because you no longer feel you're going to be rejected by God. (01:28:40:00)

You see, love can't flow through you until you're in a state of emotional truth about the issue. The emotional truth about the issue is that God will not reject me. That's the real emotional truth about this issue, but it may not be inside of myself. It has to be inside of myself before the connection will be truly established. The only way for that to happen is for me to release the error that's already in there because truth and error can't reside in the same location at the same time. I can't on one hand have this huge emotion in me that God's going to reject me and on the other hand have a pure longing for God at the same time, because my longing for God is always going to be tainted by the fact that God's going to reject me.

And it's the same with your soulmate and that's all related to your father; the whole lot of that's related to your father. This is why sometimes meeting your soulmate, or even believing someone can be your soulmate, can be a huge emotional trigger if you accept it because whatever they give back to you is a part of your Law of Attraction, which is going to heal your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself and also in the end your relationship with your soulmate, whoever that is, whether it's the person you imagine it to be or someone different. (01:30:00:00)

So I suppose the moral of that story is to actually allow yourself to speak the truth but understand that every time you have an expectation that is unloving, whatever response you get back is your Law of Attraction. So if the person who I feel is my soulmate rejects me, that is my Law of Attraction. I've got some unhealed emotion to work through there, inside of me \- not them. They've got some unhealed emotion too perhaps; if they're my soulmate they might easily have, but that's immaterial. I can't control what they're doing; I can't control what they see. All I can do is do my own stuff. All I can do is own my own feelings. (01:30:48:00)

When Mary and I didn't see each other for a period of time because of the circumstances, all I did was just go into my emotion about that. "Mary doesn't feel attracted to me, she doesn't want me," all of those kinds of emotions, and I just went through that. Now I knew that it was happening because she was afraid and I knew that it was happening because of her fear of some family issues and so forth. I could have just told myself, "Ah, it's just because she's afraid," and then that would help me skip over all the emotion that I felt. Forget about doing that; don't tell yourself all the stories even if they're true. Allow yourself just to feel the truthful emotional response that you have inside of yourself; that's what will clear it.

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 2

6. The soulmate part of the soul

6.1. The soul half needs bodies or another half of a soul to experience life

I would like to talk to you about this soulmate part of your soul, so that you understand what I mean by that. You see, when your soul splits into two, basically it cannot experience anything in its split state without there being some appendages. Now what I mean by appendages is that you need a body - a material body and/or a spirit body attached to the soul through which that half of the soul absorbs its experience. The way God actually created it is that the full soul can absorb an experience only in the soul union state; the halves of the soul need bodies to start absorbing experiences. (00:01:07:00)

When the soul splits into two it requires bodies (a spirit body and a physical body) through which to absorb experiences

Now what's really happening is that there are these cords that connect the spirit and material bodies to the soul. I've drawn them so you can see them as separate but of course your soul is bigger than you are. Your soul is actually surrounding the two bodies and the soul even controls all the physiological functions of both bodies. Now the soul interfaces with these bodies through these connections, which allow experiences from the outside world to enter the body. Then through the body the experiences get funnelled into the soul as an experience, and that is how we start absorbing our surroundings. So as soon as we have a body we're individualised. Whether that body is just the spirit body because we die soon after individualisation, or it's both, we are now individualised as a half of the soul. In other words we are now starting to be conscious of our own experience. (00:02:12:00)

Now, the issue is that this half of the soul can't exist on its own without there being a body or something else attached, which could actually be the other half of the soul. So when the male/female combined soul separates, it now needs the bodies to attach to that half of the soul in order for the half of the soul to gain experience. So half of the soul splits away at incarnation and of course the bodies of each of the two halves are created at conception.

Now when you think about that, you can see that the bodies are actually like an attenuation of the soul in a lot of ways. And this is what finishes up happening on the Earth because we are so distant from our soul; we start living in these bodies as if these bodies are us. I start living in the spirit body and the physical body as if that's me. The Truth is that it's not me at all. What's really me is the soul, and I am the masculine expression of the soul and my soulmate is the feminine expression of this soul. And when these bodies are attached, because we've got all of these emotional injuries in the environment into which we are incarnating, we start living in these bodies rather than living in this soul. As a result of that, we start taking on all the environmental injuries regarding these bodies and the soul. (00:04:07:00)

6.2. Development of belief systems in the soul

Now the first sets of injuries that we are generally most responsive to are our parental type of injuries. In fact, these come right down to the first time you open your eyes after you're born and you start observing. After a while the clarity improves in your sight, and eventually you start observing quite clearly, the first form of the male in front of you, which in most cases happens to be your father. After three or four months, your eyesight is starting to clear up, and you start observing the real male, right in front of you, who's picking you up and nursing you and you start seeing the real female who is your mother and so you start identifying emotionally with these people. That began at conception but as you receive more and more and you see more and more and the senses of your soul open up more and more, through these bodily senses opening up as you grow, you're now absorbing belief systems into your soul, belief systems that your parents actually have. (00:05:14:00)

Now one of the first belief systems that starts entering your soul is about the ideal man and the ideal woman. And who do you think they're going to be? Very similar to what mum and dad are. This is starting to get established: if mum happens to be five foot three, quite slim and pretty and maybe a blonde, then during this formulation stage your ideal may finish up becoming that. But if you find your mother quite repulsive, then it might be the flip side of that, just depending on the emotions that come at you. And the same applies to your father. If your father happens to be six foot three and a bit tubby in the middle and pretty solid then that becomes your definition of the ideal man, the man who's going to make you safe and secure and so forth. That enters your soul. These are not actually truths entering your soul but the belief systems, which could be in error that we come to accept as truth inside of us.

Now there's no harm in having an ideal. The problem is that most of the time our ideals surround our parental images, which are often very, very different from our soulmate and what they look like, what they act like and what they feel like. Because our soulmate is going to be an ideal for us personally, in terms of the mirror image of ourselves. (00:06:43:00)

So technically we now start living out of the soul when we start living more in our bodies, and we do that because that's what our environment does. People on Earth are taught to not be emotional, even as young children. When a young child is crying, and the parent goes, "There, there, there," they are already stopping the child from crying as they're doing this. And if there's an emotion of distress in the mother, let's say, at the time she's doing this, what's the child going to start feeling here? "Every time I cry mum gets distressed." There's going to be a responsibility thing set up; she doesn't have to say a word, she's just feeling these emotions. The soul is assimilating these emotions through the sensory apparatus of the bodies and all of a sudden the baby is starting to feel these things. (00:07:33:00)

6.3. The physical body has fewer senses than the spirit body, which has fewer senses than the soul

Now the soul itself has a super set of sensory apparatus that the spirit body doesn't have and the spirit body has a super set of what you call apparatus or tools available to it that the physical body doesn't have. What I mean by that is that your physical body is said to have the five senses, but the spirit body has a lot more senses than five and the soul actually has thousands of senses that change and grow as you develop in Divine Love.

We're used to having these senses inside of us physically. But if a spirit had to live in your body after passing into the spirit world they would go, "I don't want to go back there. The senses of your body are so limited compared to what I can do." Every single spirit can teleport. Can you? How limiting is that? If all of a sudden you could start teleporting and you started getting used to it, after five or ten years of our time on Earth of doing it you'd be pretty used to that, wouldn't you? Even after a few months you'd think it would be pretty hot, wouldn't you? You'd feel really comfortable with that, and if after a while somebody said, "You've got to go back to your body now," you'd be pretty annoyed wouldn't you? You'd go, "Why do I want to go back to my body now? I can do all of this stuff I couldn't do in the body." Because you've got a body that actually has a heightened sense, heightened tools or apparatus in which it can interact with its environment.

So the physical body has a very limited set of tools with which to sense its surroundings. The spirit body has a super set of those tools; in other words it has more tools that are available to it, but it doesn't have the tools that are available to it at the soul level. The soul has the maximum number of tools available to it, even in its unhealed state. In its healed state, in the sixth sphere state, it has a huge number of tools available. And then when it receives Divine Love, those tools grow exponentially as well. The soul has this ever-increasing number of tools available to it, and that's a half of the soul. Once the half combines with the other half, then you've got a whole new set of tools available to that combined form which eventually you'll start experiencing. (00:10:14:00)

Now if you think about it from a long term perspective, the soul senses are the most important senses that you could ever develop. The senses of the physical body, like playing tennis, are not very important to develop in the long run. It can be fun and you can enjoy it in the short term perhaps, but in the long run it's not going to be something that is going to give you huge amounts of satisfaction. You're not going to feel like tennis much, particularly when you can teleport and do a heap of other things, manufacture whole games that we know nothing about here on Earth. Tennis is going to be like baby land in terms of what you could do in that condition.

In the soul condition, those kinds of things become so unimportant. As we go through and start growing in different areas of our self-awareness in our Earth existence, the truth is that generally we first start experiencing our physical body senses and unfortunately for the majority of the planet, we only ever develop them. Now, we sometimes get into the spirit body senses. For example, our intellect is often starting to be developed, and our intellect comes from our spirit body's brain. Our spirit body has a mind and that's part of our intelligence, so we start developing that. Unfortunately we often become brain-dominant in that process, as we develop that part of ourselves, but we neglect huge amounts of our spirit body senses even in our own development here on Earth.

Most people on Earth develop their physical and spirit body senses rather than their soul senses

But then we get onto the New Age path and we start realising that there's this thing called mediumship and healing and there are all these other things. So we start to experiment with what I would call metaphysical truths, which are all surrounding the spirit form. But for the majority of the planet, the soul development is totally neglected, isn't it? Now because this is a soul-to-soul union that we're encouraging with our soulmate, can you see it's going to confront a lot of the belief systems that we have about the development of the other forms? (00:12:51:00)

6.4. Developing the soulmate part of our souls

For example, I'm standing here in a physical form and Mary's in a physical form. If this is a soulmate relationship, I come along into this relationship with a lot of pre-conceived intellectual ideas of what is my ideal. They are based on emotional connections that I have to my parents and what I have perceived from them to be the ideal. So if my mother is five foot three, she is quite slim, she's classified as brunette then that becomes part of my physical ideal for my soulmate. And unless I'm willing to challenge that ideal, I'll probably look around and anyone taller than five foot three gets neglected in terms of my attractions, because of this emotional connection to the parent. I'm judging everything through the development of the spirit body and physical body parts of the form, and the errors that have entered my soul as a subsequent result of that; I'm judging my entire surroundings including what my soulmate should be through that. And so what do I do? I walk along the street, my soulmate walks past and I don't even notice her, and the reason I don't even notice her is that the soul part of myself is undeveloped. (00:14:24:00)

Now once I develop the soul part of myself and I start opening up towards the other half of myself, I'm no longer focussed on the spirit and physical bodies so much anymore. I now start perceiving myself as a soul with these appendages, which we'll call bodies, but I don't see the bodies as me. I see the soul as the real me; I can feel inside of myself that my personality, my attributes, my characteristics, my desires, my longings, my passions and my intentions are all from my soul, and I'm really starting to focus on that. And ironically in that place at the same time I'm starting to see everyone else around me in the same manner. I'm not really seeing their face and I'm not really seeing what they wear anymore so much. It has to be sort of outstanding and really strike you before you notice those things because what you're starting to notice is the soul, the thing that's really the real person. (00:15:41:00)

As we develop we focus more on our soul rather than our spirit and physical bodies

So, you're starting to open up this soul part of yourself and as a part of that process, the soulmate part of yourself starts getting opened up because you're starting to become sensitive to the flows, the feelings, going on between yourself and any other person who comes into your field of view at the soul level. In other words you can feel any other person that comes into your soul awareness, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you see them. You can start feeling every single person around the planet pretty much. As soon as you're aware of them as an entity, you can now start to feel them and what emotions and feelings they have, what desires and passions they have and what belief systems they have that are all a part of the soul, and you can do the same with your soulmate. (00:16:40:00)

Now what happens from an energetic perspective is that your soul is now not just connected to your bodies, but your soul is capable of bypassing your bodies for its experience, because you're developing the soul's capability. You're now capable of not just experiencing the soul through the bodies, through the connection of the cords that are connecting the body to the soul, but you're actually now capable of experiencing at the soul level without the bodies being involved, and this is what your emotions are all about. When you feel an emotion, most of the time you don't need your bodies to experience these emotions and it's the emotions that are actually the most powerful part of you.

Many of you who have started connecting to your emotions are starting to understand this in a more full manner. What you start feeling and experiencing inside of yourself is this deep feeling that when you are emotional (and it doesn't really matter what the emotion is) that's the real you; you can start really feeling that that's the real you. And every interaction comes from the feeling place inside of you. You might be throwing your arms around and throwing your legs around, and sometimes I do, and that's just an expression of your soul's emotion. The body is just now the tool by which your soul is expressing itself, but you don't actually need that tool for the soul to express itself. (00:18:32:00)

Now once you start doing that, you start opening up to experiences. It is the emotions that are related to the male and the female that are what I would term the soulmate part of yourself.

The soulmate part of yourself is capable of being developed without your bodies being involved, without your spirit body or your material body being involved, and the beauty of that is that your soul starts feeling other souls at that level. So you're not judging things now through what you see, you're judging things now through everything that you feel. Everything you feel is now the important thing.

6.5. The soulmate part of the soul needs to be open in order to recognise our soulmate

Now let's say you're walking along the road and you've not only got these bodies that you're expressing yourself through, but now you're very, very aware at the soul level, which bypasses the bodies, of all this stuff that's out there. In other words you're not really interested in other people's bodies anymore, you're now just interested in their soul and as that goes out of you and you walk past your soulmate, what do you think you're going to start experiencing? You'll be going, "Whoa, something's going on here!" It's a bit like, you know how when you get magnets and you pass them by each other and they're attracted and it's pretty hard to keep them apart? That's what you'll start experiencing. You'll go, "Whoa, wow, this is really different, this is different from any other person I've met." Every other single person you've met is going to be a different experience from your soulmate experience when you're open at this level and so you walk past and you go, "No, this is very different, something's really up here." (00:20:29:00)

When I met Mary I was talking to her brother, and she came and sat down in front of me and I didn't know what to do, because I could just feel this totally different feeling to what I could ever remember having in my entire life. And she just sat there and she looked at me like I was some pretty dumb person really. Well I was, wasn't I really? I didn't really know what to say. Mary didn't judge me like that, I'm just saying that's how it felt, but I was just tongue-tied because I was feeling these feelings and I didn't know how to express them. I certainly couldn't express them to Mary in the situation we were in; I didn't feel I could, and so it was just overwhelming.

Now when I met her in the first century it was a very, very similar experience for me, exactly the same kind of experience. In the beginning it was like walking past and, "Whoa! What's going on here? There's something going on here between my soul and this person. What's happening here?" And the beauty of healing the male/female part of your soul, the soulmate part of your soul if you like, and allowing yourself to feel the passions and desire of that grow, is that your soul bypasses the bodies in its awareness. Now you feel the other person and it's almost like the body isn't there, and all of a sudden feelings arise in you that are the result of this soul-based interaction. (00:22:13:00)

Now once that happens, you have then come to realise for the first time in your life, not at an intellectual level but at an emotional level, that there is such a thing as a soulmate connection, and you also start to realise how special and unique it is. It is a unique connection and also the most everlasting connection that you will ever have. Many of you are very connected with your families but to be frank with you, by the time you reach the third, fourth or fifth sphere of the spirit world, you're not going to be very connected to your family compared with your connection to your soulmate. And by the time you reach the Celestial heavens, the only times that you'll be connected with your family is if they've reached them with you, because aside from your soulmate connection, you will feel very strongly that you do not need, or desire, or want any other connection other than this one; that this one is the essential connection that's there for the rest of your lifetime. (00:23:20:00)

And God created it that way, so that somebody else is going to be able to completely understand you, not for any other reason other than they are you. And if you think about it, often in a relationship we are looking for someone who understands us, right? Well, once the soulmate relationship is perfected, your soulmate is you, so of course they are going to understand you. They're going to have very, very similar feelings to what you have about all sorts of matters and issues. A lot of people then go and say, "Oh you're just in love with yourself then," (laughter) which of course you are. That is what soulmate love is.

Soulmate love is a perfect love of yourself, in the sense that when I love Mary perfectly, I will also love myself, because myself is the sum total of the two of us together. And so the whole complete soul is really loving itself completely once the two halves completely connect with each other. We're actually allowing the two halves to connect completely. It's the soulmate part of your soul that needs to be open, and that's the unique thing that can only occur with your soulmate. No other person in this universe can connect with you in the same manner. (00:25:26:00)

Mary, do you want to come up? Mary's not feeling good today so she's indecisive.

7. God created soulmates to grow together as they develop in love

Mary: I just wanted to ask if you could talk about why God created soulmates. I think you touched on it, that this person is actually a part of you, but I find it really beautiful the way that God created a partner for us to grow towards God and if we're doing that, we will naturally come together.

Yeah, okay. So we're down here, standing on top of the Earth (AJ draws on the whiteboard). There's my physical body, but that's not the real me. I've got a spirit body as well, and that's not the real me either; the real me is my soul. And then there's my soulmate somewhere on this planet, say she's over here. (00:26:37:00)

Mary: So we come down and start the process of individualisation by incarnating. Obviously in this imperfect world in which we live at the moment, through this process we gather lots of injuries on our soul.

You could say that basically we begin in a first sphere condition.

Soulmates incarnate onto Earth into a first sphere condition

Mary: Yes. But as we start to heal our soul, and if we involve God in that process and we develop a desire for God, then we'll start to grow towards God as we increase our desire and work on our injuries, releasing our emotions. And because we're soulmates our soul is essentially the one; we're halves of the same soul that has its own personality and passions and desires that God creates in us, each of them unique. So as we continue to grow, because we have the same characteristics and personality in our soul, as we release more and more emotion and grow through our spheres of development, we will naturally come closer to each other because of these inbuilt things within our soul. (00:29:00:00)

Soulmates grow together as they progress towards God

7.1. Following passions and desires draws the two halves together

Yes, so the irony is that God created it so that if one half of the soul follows its passions and desires all of the time in harmony with love, it will always attract the other half of the soul. That's the beauty of it. And of course as you progress through the spheres you are getting closer to God but you are getting closer to each other, and that's one of the reasons why your God-relationship is the most important relationship. The reason is that through that relationship you can heal a lot of your soulmate injuries.

We can heal a lot of these injuries that we pick up on the planet just by progressing towards God. The more Divine Love we receive, the more we release ourselves from emotional injuries. If it's a heterosexual-type soul it relates particularly to emotional injuries towards the opposite gender, and if it's a homosexual-type soul we also need release emotional injuries towards the same gender as well as the opposite gender. It's exactly the same; we need to release both the male and female-based injuries whatever type of soul we are, and as we do that, we just get closer to God and we're automatically drawing our soulmate to us. (00:30:14:00)

You see, when you follow your desire and passion your half of the soul is following its desire and passion and the other half of your soul is already being drawn into that same pattern, because you're actually helping your complete soul into this state of finding your desires and passions. It's just a beautiful arrangement when you think about it.

Mary: And the fact is that as you release more and more injury, your personalities and passions and desires will grow more and more similar, and you have the perfect playmate to develop together spiritually.

Yeah and when you're in the soul union state, that's what you are; you are just one soul that feels complete within itself. You feel complete within yourself because you are actually feeling each other and feeling each other's desires and because you have the same desires as your mate your desires get multiplied. (00:31:16:00)

7.2. Joining with your soulmate creates synergy

So if you imagine I have a desire to teach and Mary doesn't have a desire to teach, can you see that there wouldn't be a flow of energy on that one subject? But because we're half of the same soul, at some point Mary is going to have a desire to teach and she's already demonstrated that. Even though she's really afraid about getting up, she still needs to get up. That's part of the soul and so if Mary allows my desire to teach to enter her, it enters her and that increases her own desire to teach. That then increases my desire to teach and it's like a circulation of emotion that builds in intensity as I and Mary follow our desires. (00:31:59:00)

Mary: So the sum of our desires is greater than the parts.

Yeah. It's no longer one and one is two, it's now one and one is ten times as much. And then as we grow towards God, our soul's power in terms of its ability to experience emotions is growing exponentially as well. So for now it's not one and one is ten anymore either, it's like every time I grow and step towards God and every time Mary grows and steps towards God this intense emotion starts flowing; now I can feel it and cope with emotion that weeks or months ago I wouldn't have been able to cope with experiencing without perhaps even dying. This is why if a spirit in the twenty second sphere came to you and projected all of their emotions at you, you'd just die from it. They're loving but you'd die from it because your soul isn't able to cope with the intensity of the emotion. That's how powerful they are, feeling their emotions.

So when they come to you they attenuate their emotions to suit your condition. Imagine this build up and build up, this circular build up, and you imagine love for each other doing this. My love for Mary enters Mary and she accepts it because she has unblocked her emotional injuries about accepting love from her soulmate. And then she has also unblocked her emotional injuries about giving her love to her soulmate, and I've unblocked my emotions about receiving love from my soulmate, and now all of this love enters me from her, and then all of this love to her overwhelms me, and so imagine the love bond between the two halves as that grows. All that impedes its growth are our injuries and our inability to accept some truths. (00:33:56:00)

7.3. Prioritising God over our soulmate prevents stagnation

Mary: And that's why I feel the desire for God is so important. It's easier to reach a point in the relationship where you feel kind of comfortable, and so unless you have this burning desire to deal with your own soul and grow towards God, you can stagnate.

You will stagnate, yeah. We've seen people get together as soulmates and then stagnate in the second sphere for years and years and years, and we've seen people on Earth do the same. They get together with their soulmate and they've got compatible injuries that are acceptable to each other that they don't want to deal with because they are not growing towards God, and so they end up staying for the rest of their life as soulmates in the second sphere. That's really sad I feel because you have the potential to be this immensely powerful loving being if you continue progressing towards God.

So perhaps you can see that if your desire for God is number one then even though the desire for your soulmate (which is your desire for your own soul in the end) is number two, no matter what happens with this soul your desire for God will cause this soul to grow.

Whereas if you put your soulmate as number one and your desire for God number two, or lower than that, what will happen then? You will get to the point where you get your soulmate in your life, you feel very self-satisfied and you'll relax with the whole process. You'll enjoy the fact that you've caught up with them and you'll just stay in that place. There are souls in the sixth sphere state who met each other many thousands of years ago and have never grown from that state. They're completely in a relationship in the spirit world, they think it's a soulmate relationship that I'm talking about but it isn't because they haven't even gone through the union with God yet, let alone the union with their own soul, and so they stagnate here in the sixth sphere and they just stay in that place.

Now you've heard of Ramtha? Well Ramtha and his soulmate were in that place for quite some time, for tens of thousands of years. When we talked to them about progression beyond that point they started progressing and all of a sudden they got into these higher spheres and now their union is even greater. So while before Ramtha was the very dominant part of the soul - that was allowed at the sixth sphere - he is now less dominant and there is more of the feminine part of the soul interacting as well. I think he's in the ninth or tenth sphere now and that causes a very, very different feel from him. So anybody who would have been connecting to him before will probably feel that this is a different person and it is a different person; it's a person who has changed quite markedly. (00:37:10:00)

So that's the process towards God. Can you see it's just such a beautiful design in the end, isn't it? It makes perfect sense to the soul and it also explains why we always have this feeling that we want to be with somebody in the end, because there is this soul desire for the other half of yourself and it's always there. (00:37:40:00)

7.4. God designed us to be able to grow towards God with or without emotional injuries

Participant: I've got twenty five questions.

Only that many?

Participant: But I'll stick to one. My question is, in the whole plan of God, is it possible that the sum total of our soul injuries might be a positive development of our character, in the whole plan of things? Or are the soul injuries, like coming to your parents as a half, to be viewed completely negatively?

I would never view our soul injuries as completely negative; however they were all created by man's avoidance of God's Laws. They were all created by our walking away from God in the first instance. We don't have to have soul injuries to enjoy this process of union with the soulmate. In the future there'll be people born on this planet into the sixth sphere state who grow towards God after that state, and they won't need to deal with any of the soul injuries that many of you are currently dealing with. They'll just be able to enjoy the process instead of feeling the pain of the process. So we certainly don't need to have injuries in order to get to God; God designed it that we didn't need to have any, but unfortunately because of our free will and not having humility, that kicks off a whole negative series of events. But even in that negative series of events, all of our injuries end up working out to our benefit. It's really weird but that's what happens. Because of all the different injuries that we gather, we tend to go through them and then we realise certain things and that creates some of the passions in certain directions. (00:39:45:00)

Mary: I feel that that's the way God designed it. I love the potentialities in God's design. God didn't design us to suffer, but He gave us the gift of free will and within that he saw our potentialities. So then He created a whole other set of laws, like the Law of Attraction, the Law of Compensation, all of those things to allow us, or to encourage us to grow towards God.

All those laws confront the error that is within us anyway.

Mary: It's still a loving design. The perfect loving design is that we don't have to suffer, that we're not designed to suffer and that we can go towards God, but because we have free will there's a potentiality for suffering. So He put in a whole set of other loving laws to bring us back away from the suffering.

7.5. Our life truly begins in the soul union state

Participant: Okay, so now a big question. You follow along the path and the plan, you do your best, you go to God, you find your soulmate, you get to the twenty second sphere but what's the point? It is a wondrous journey, I feel the magnificence of it, but you're getting all the way there and then what happens? What's the point? (00:41:21:00)

Then you begin your life, Jen.

Mary: Then you're individualised and you're ready to go.

You've completed your individualisation process and now you begin to live, really live. You know, everything until the soul union state is actually not yet fully living.

Participant: I've just had that emotionally hit me, that's unbelievable. I'm so glad I asked that question.

So there you're like a new born babe sitting in Big Daddy's (God's) arms, and Big Daddy's now ready to teach you some things. You think you've learned up to then? Well Big Daddy begins (Laughter) teaching you. (00:42.10:00)

The problem is that it's impossible for our human mind to conceive infinity. It is possible for our soul to conceive it because our soul has the capacity to grow infinitely; that's where it's possible. And as we grow we have more of a concept of what "infinitely" really means on every level, emotionally more than any other level. By the time we reach this place we realise, "I'm just a little baby ready to begin my journey now as a completely unified soul, the two of us together as the complete unified soul, to learn a whole new set of things that we could never have learned before because we didn't have the emotional capacity to learn."

And remember that the intellectual capacity fell away from us at the seventh sphere. That went then and after that everything became more and more and more and more and more emotional. The intellect now becomes a subset of our soul; it's a part of our soul but a very minor part of our soul. It's what we use to express a lot of things, but the soul's emotions are the most powerful thing. (00:43:40:00)

And that's the problem, that if I don't allow myself to open up to the soulmate part of my soul, then I'm also precluding myself from all of those additional experiences. Just like if I don't allow myself to open up to the God connection in my soul, then I'm precluding myself from all experiences above the sixth sphere. The problem is that we become so addicted to our own intelligence that we often get to the sixth sphere and think, "There must be nothing beyond that because I already think I'm pretty good." On the Divine Love Path you don't ever feel that; as you grow you just realise, "Whoa, I'm a lot smaller than I realised." And it's like becoming fully conscious of your relationship to God in the sense that you're a lot smaller than you thought you were when you began it, but you are also a lot more connected and you understand infinitely more intellectual information, because you are now capable of understanding the universe at the soul rather than at the mind.

Participant: So it seems to me that in the whole process faith and trust in God will unfold the whole journey?

Yep.

Participant: And that if you have different desires and passions to the person who you think is your soulmate, then faith and trust in allowing the whole journey to unfold will then allow the journey to unfold. And it may not come from soul injuries; it may just be part of the whole process. Because I know with Graham and I still, I'm the creative part, the artistic part and Graham's the mathematician and more the engineer. There is creativity but it's a different kind of expression and I've had trouble with, for want of a better way of putting it, trying to match the desires. (00:45:55:00)

But as your part of your love grows, you'll eventually start understanding the engineering part of it and understanding the mathematical part of it because the only part that's blocking you to that is a heap of emotions from your childhood and from your school years and all of that. And then he will do the same because the only thing that's blocking him from the artistic side is a lot of those same kind of emotions in relationship to what happened to his childhood upbringing as well, and a degradation of emotions and so forth. And then you'll find that you'll merge together with all of those experiences. You'll become the engineer and he'll become the artist and you'll both be the artist and the engineer at the same time with a unique emotional signature that not another person in the universe actually has. (00:46:43:00)

Participant: I can't help but feel gratitude.

Yeah, it's beautiful!

Participant: I'm full up here.

Yeah, it's good, isn't it? To put it mildly.

7.6. Prioritising God over our soulmate (continued)

Participant: I just want to ask something about what you said before. My partner and I have experienced that when we've been apart, we're very connected to God; very God focused, and have a very strong connection to God. When we come together, we become very focused on each other so the God part falls apart, and we're very conscious of that now. So we're totally always focusing on God first, God first, God first. I know now everything just falls into place beautifully once we prioritise God. I just want to ask how you to do that. (00:47:41:00)

We have the same issue. See, most people would say, "Let's go and separate then because we're not getting closer to God." What my feelings and Mary's are, "Let's work out why we're involved in this rather than involved in this and this. Let's go through the emotions of why we connect to each other in this regard and step away from God when we're together," and there's usually a lot of emotional reasons for that, that each of us needs to address. In my case there's a lot of pleasing Mary emotions that I have to address; in Mary's case there were feelings like God doesn't want her, God can't remember her; those kind of feelings that she needs to address. There are different emotions for each of us that cause us to go away from that connection. The key is to deal with those emotions, let yourself feel your way through. (00:48:36:00)

Mary: Yeah, and sometimes we've gotten caught up in resolving the emotions that are between us and forgetting to just pray about it all, and we just remind each other all the time.

Participant: Can I just ask one more thing? Is it possible to reach the twenty second sphere state on Earth?

Yes.

Mary: In theory.

That's hopefully what we'll be able to demonstrate to you; that's why we came.

7.6.1. Emotional injuries prevent a deep soulmate connection

Participant: Cool. You know just the experience that I was talking about yesterday, in session one of "The Human Soul - The Soulmate Relationship" (Chapter 3.5.3), where I had an overwhelmingly intense emotional experience with my partner? If Monique starts having the same experience and we start coming together in that regard...?

That will trigger lots of different emotions in you certainly, because remember how when you came together a little bit you started feeling, "Whoa, this is a bit much for me!" and starting to want to back away? So that's in both of you and you need to allow yourself to feel that. (00:49:24:00)

Mary: You know before I was talking about the longing and what kind of space that is? With the longing for God, I feel you can have injury and develop the longing. When you develop your longing for God, then that really triggers all the emotions that are in the way. The same thing with your soulmate - if you develop that really raw vulnerable longing, it's going to trigger everything that's in the way. Obviously we're not in the twenty first sphere now, but we can still develop the longing to a point that sort of pulls us up.

For us it is a process where everything that we remember we have to grieve, because most of it is about loss. Everything we go through we generally have to grieve. We have to be prepared to do a lot of grieving and that is sometimes a difficult path. At the moment I'm not very prepared to grieve much about myself and Mary's not prepared to grieve much about a number of things and so that prevents the connection from actually occurring. When I'm prepared to grieve and she's prepared to grieve, things get back on track again and we start progressing towards God and towards each other again. (00:50:39:00)

For many of you it will be different emotions; shame, anger, grief, rage. These different emotions are all preventing the connection with your soulmate, but when you think about it they are also preventing your connection with God, so of course having to deal with them with your soulmate is going to help you a lot with dealing with them with God.

Obviously if I put God first, then I know I'm always going to progress, no matter what my soulmate does. So if my soulmate stops progressing, I'm going to keep progressing. If she has the same view as that, then obviously there'll be this thing going on where she'll progress a bit and then I'll feel a bit stagnant, but because she has progressed it makes it easier for me to progress. And then I'll progress a bit more and so forth and you end up in this sort of moving up like that; one helping the other back towards God. (00:50:31:00)

If you take God out of the equation, which by the way many, many billions of people do and millions and billions of souls in the spirit world do, then you'll get to a point in the sixth sphere where you just can't progress any further. You have a soul connection with your soulmate, but you won't have soul union with your soulmate, which is a totally different experience. Imagine the emotions at the sixth sphere compared to the seventh sphere. The seventh sphere is like a thousand times more powerful emotions than the sixth sphere. So if you can just imagine what it's like then being in the eighth, ninth or tenth sphere in terms of the emotions and what you can create, it starts to really blow your mind. Of course mentally and intellectually we can't conceive of it, and when you read the Padgett Messages, sometimes Padgett asks, "What's it like there?" and they'll say to him, "Look, there's no way that you can actually conceive of what it's really like here with your intellectual mind." They just feel that and there's no way you can until you personally experience it emotionally. (00:52:36:00)

7.6.2. Having faith and trust in God accelerates our progress

Now Jen brought out a good point that I'd just like to highlight, and that's if you have faith and trust in God, it is the simplest way to speed up your progress, because do you know what our biggest problem is? We want everything to be intellectually validated to us before we allow the experience. And if you're one of those people who want everything intellectually validated before you allow an experience, that's going to be the slowest possible progress that you can make. So my suggestion would be to have a look at that emotion in yourself and try to deal with that, look at what it is about and you'll get down to some feelings of where you've been hurt in the past and can't trust anymore and all those kind of things. Let yourself work your way through them.

Often people hear all these things presented from myself and Mary and they feel, "Ah they're just describing a utopian universe." Yes of course we are, that's what God created. God created the utopian universe, man creates the other. God created the utopian universe and we are trying to describe to you what it's like. (00:53:41:00)

8. AJ and Mary describe their emotional experiences as soulmates

Do you want to just describe what has happened between us? Where shall we start?

Mary: Sure. Well what do you want to illustrate? Just how the emotions have affected different things?

Yeah, how the emotions affected desire, how they affected your own feelings towards myself and my feelings towards you, and how once we released certain emotions, things changed quite rapidly and all that kind of stuff. So shall we start when we first met? Let's do that. Do you want to describe it from your perspective? (00:54:37:00)

8.1. When AJ and Mary first met

Mary: Well, before I met you I knew I was going to meet this guy that my parents were quite into at the time, who was teaching the spiritual path and believed he was Jesus. I kind of had this image in my head of a middle aged guy with a beard, a bit of a pot belly and someone who fancied himself a fair bit. (Laughter) And then I met AJ and I was like, "Wow, he's kind of good looking, not what I expected." (Laughter) We didn't have any long exchange because I was quite wrapped up in lots of other emotions, but I was quite interested in the path he was teaching. I tried to ask him a few questions and he just sort of gave me yes or no answers. "So what do you think about this Course in Miracles stuff? Because I really feel like this and I feel it's right out of line." and he'd say, "Yep." (Laughter)

That's true, I did do that. It's very unlike me, isn't it? But anyway. (Laughter)

Mary: And anyway, skip forward a bit and my parents told me that AJ felt that I was his soulmate and that really affected me.

What did you say?

Mary: It's embarrassing. They sat me down and said they had something important to tell me and I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be. They sat me down and went, "Well, you know that guy AJ," and I went "Yep," "Well he believes that you're his soulmate." And I went, "Oh I knew that." That was the first thing out of my mouth and then I went, "No I didn't know that at all. That's really weird. He didn't talk to me." So I was really shocked by the words out of my mouth, but I completely dismissed them because they didn't make any sense. (00:55:57:00)

Mary sort of felt like I never talked to her, which is very true. I didn't talk to her very much at all. I was so overwhelmed emotionally because it was as I described, walking past somebody that you're now open to emotionally and I just felt, "Wow, this girl is my soulmate, what do I do with that?" I'd been looking for her for such a long time and there were lots of emotions in me. I felt quite teary, and I didn't know what to do. I was just about to talk to a group, I think Helga and Klaus were there at that group and Peter and Clare I think were there and I didn't know what to do. It was like, "What do I do?"

8.1.1. Mary and AJ's initial emotional reactions to each other

And she comes up and talks to me before the group starts, and now I don't know what to do, and she has these questions. And of course I didn't have much to say about them because I just didn't know what to say. What do you say? "Yeah, actually, you're my soulmate and now that I think about it, boy I've got a really big attraction to you." It's very confronting. I was extra-sensitive to Mary's emotional condition, so I could feel her hurt from the breakup of her previous relationship, I could feel how uncertain she was feeling about her life and I felt that if I said something to her; it would basically just put more pressure on her. That's the way I was feeling. (00:58:30:00)

Mary: Yeah, obviously I didn't have the same magnetic thing happen that AJ had towards me, but when my parents told me, I couldn't let it go then and I didn't understand. I'd never seen a DVD (they didn't exist back then) and I'd only heard him talk for a couple of hours. I had a job in Lebanon and I'd just broken up with someone, and all kinds of other things were happening in my life, but I couldn't let it go. I couldn't understand why, I didn't even know half the stuff about the Divine Love Path. I was just really shocked and then I got quite indignant, "this guy has told other people and he hasn't told me and I'm going to find out about that.' So I sent you an email.

There was a fair bit in-between those two places though, because we actually caught up at Helga and Klaus' and did another talk, or I did anyway, and I arrive at this talk thinking that Mary wouldn't be there because I could feel that Mary was a bit angry with me by this stage.

Mary: No I wasn't by then, but at the talk you started talking about something...

Oh yes that's right, yeah. Your father was questioning me by this stage, wasn't he?

Mary: Yeah. I hadn't decided if God existed or not in my life at this point, but AJ was talking about the closing of the heavens and I thought, "Hang on, this guy's talking about an unloving God." Suddenly I had all of these really strong opinions like, "That is not right and why is he saying he's Jesus? If he was Jesus, he wouldn't be saying he's Jesus," and all of this emotion came out and I got really quite angry. Graham would remember and Helga would remember. I wasn't saying very much but obviously the emotion coming from me was quite huge. (01:00:31:00)

And the emotion in me was a fear of my soulmate's anger. So there I am sitting down trying to talk about things and my soulmate is projecting anger at me and I'm just trying to avoid going into meltdown. And these little children were coming up and sitting on my lap and distracting me through the whole process of course; children are great like that. I was just in this inner turmoil.

Mary: This is before I knew about the soulmate thing and of course I had no idea about the impact I was having on AJ because I thought he didn't even know who I was. And when we left that meeting I had such a weird emotional experience. I was with my parents, and I was like, "I don't know what's going on with me, I need chocolate!" I was very, "I don't understand!" (Laughter) (01:01:27:00)

So then a few weeks later I did the first talk at Peter's place at Eudlo. I could feel that Mary was thinking of coming. I don't know if you've been to Peter's place and walked around the gardens a bit, but down by his office you can walk down the stairs and there's this little tiny private place down there which I went down into, and I just sat there shaking, not because I was afraid of talking in front of a hundred people, but because I was worried about Mary rocking up (laughter) and knowing by this stage that she felt a little angry from the previous experience. I didn't know how I was going to cope with that. Then I realised that she wasn't coming and it was almost a relief to not have Mary come. So after that I went overseas, and I didn't see her before I left to go overseas, but I could feel, "Wow, she's really angry with me."

Mary: I could not understand why I was angry and I wouldn't have even said I was angry. I just felt there was no reason for me to be. My parents have been on a spiritual path for thirty years, I've met a lot of people who believe a lot of unusual things and have unusual lifestyles and none of that ever made me angry - I just went, "Oh, that's what they're into," or whatever, but for some reason I was really very emotional, and that was really strange for me. And when I found out what AJ felt about me, I felt really freaked out as well. "I don't understand all these emotions and it's very scary for me." (01:03:13:00)

Yeah. The first time I met Mary, Cornelius was with me. We had stayed overnight at Mary's parents' place and as we drove away the next day Cornelius said to me, "You think she's your soulmate, don't you?" and I said to him, "Cornie if she's not my soulmate, I've got another ten years of emotional processing to do," (laughter) because I was getting pretty overwhelmed just being in the same house with her. But that all being said, Corny spent most of the time talking to Mary and I spent hardly any time talking to Mary, I was just so nervous. I didn't know what to do really, and I had a lot of emotions to work through as result of that; a lot of emotions of feeling unworthy, a lot of emotions about feeling my soulmate's blocked to me and feeling a lot of grief about that.

8.2. When AJ and Mary met up in England

And so I started allowing myself to work through those emotions and I then went overseas and just kept working through those emotions. Then Mary sent me that email that I told you about earlier, where she demanded why I hadn't spoken to her about this supposed soul connection that we were meant to have had and that's when I sent back a very long letter. I decided at that point, "Well no, I need to be open, I need to be honest," and this is why I'm encouraging you to do the same, to be open and honest and just let the chips fall where they may and allow yourself to experience the emotion of that. Just allow that to occur. (01:04:43:00)

So over the following month we entered into conversations and eventually they became conversations every day and then Mary decided that she wanted to investigate whether I'm her soulmate or not.

Mary: Very pragmatic about it all, wasn't I?

Mary's very practical, and so she decides, "No, I'm just going to sort it out. I need to get over to where you are at the moment," and by this time I was in England. Before then I was in Barbados and Mary was in Australia and we decided, "No let's meet up when we're in England." So Mary flew over and met up with me in England. I picked her up from Heathrow airport and we decided that the best thing to do was to hire a two bedroom place and we'd just spend a week together and see what happened and see what comes up. Four days into that week, Mary has her first big emotional experience.

Mary: Yep. I really thought that I kind of had my life together; I was pretty arrogant. I thought I'd lived overseas, I've dabbled in spirituality, I kind of feel like I'm finally getting close to thirty and I feel like I finally know myself and... how ridiculous. And so I go to meet AJ and I have no concept really of what emotional processing is; I think I know what it's all about but I really have no idea, and four days in, I have this overwhelming emotional experience of grief and loss and abandonment that is inexplicable, and it relates specifically to him. That's what happened. (01:06:43:00)

And there was quite a lot of anger towards me that you couldn't understand because you'd never been an angry person most of your life, right? There was quite a lot of anger coming at me, "You left me!" yelling at me about what I had done to her in the past, and it's really hard to explain, and then Mary went into this really big shut down towards me. "I can't even look at you; I can't even look at you." So I went off for a walk out in the sheep farms (we were at Oxford in England).

Mary: It was a terrifying experience. I don't know if that's relevant to other people.

Yeah, but many of you are going to be terrified with some of the things that come up between yourself and your soulmate and the key, I feel, is to stay in the transaction. You see, often when things come up that are terrifying we don't want to stay in the transaction. We want to get away from the transaction, we want to leave it, we want to avoid it, and we want to avoid our emotion of it. And my feelings are, the more we have stayed in the transaction, no matter how long the transaction has been (and sometimes it's been months before we've come out of one particular emotion together), the better both of us finish up working our way through our emotions. (01:08:15:00)

So then Mary had a number of these experiences, which of course I was sort of expecting, but I didn't expect that she'd be angry with me. I thought, you know, "Soulmate meets soulmate, it's all going to be lovey-dovey, everything's fine right?" (Laughter) No, that didn't happen at all. Instead a lot of the stuff of me leaving and me dying in the first century and all this kind of stuff started coming up and it shocked Mary intensely because she wasn't expecting that.

Mary: Before this point, I was actually feeling quite romantically attracted to AJ, quite desirous of him. And as soon as I hit these big emotions - nothing. Nothing. By the end of the trip I just felt no physical or emotional attraction to him at all.

So by the end of the trip, we're coming home and I can feel my soulmate is totally blocked to me, but I can feel the reasons why, all the fear and terror that's in her. I could feel all this fear and terror in Mary, but her shutting them down really harshly, and really harshly shutting herself down too. (01:09:34:00)

Mary: Because also, by this stage, there was a lot of projection coming from my family and that really affected me because I was really hooked into their emotions. That shut me down a lot. There was a lot of disapproval coming towards me and I felt that that also made the emotions towards AJ wrong emotionally.

8.3. When AJ and Mary returned to Australia from overseas

I wanted to stay in this transaction and work our way through it but Mary just said, "No, that's it, there's no attraction between me and you and we've just got to go our separate ways." And so we came home and at the airport Mary's parents picked her up and whisked her away, literally, and I went home with my son Tristan. And I just spent the next four or five days crying about it. Mary, you sort of spent the next week really in turmoil, didn't you? Total turmoil about it all.

And then Mary decided to invite me over to talk about it on the weekend and I went over to talk about it, but I finished up just getting attacked by the family instead of really talking about our issue together, and after I came away from that I realised that things were actually going to get a lot worse with the family and that there was a high likelihood that we wouldn't be together. For me that just triggered lots and lots of stuff and so for nearly the next three months I cancelled all of the talks, as many of you around that time know, and I just focused on my emotions about dealing with that and stayed in my emotions. And as I said, I got to some really deep emotions about how I viewed myself, how I viewed myself in comparison to my soulmate and all these other emotions, and once I got out of that I knew within a few days Mary would probably call me. But Mary, through that time, went through lots of different things too. (01:11:47:00)

Mary: Oh yeah, that was really dark for me, because I didn't know how to process emotion and I was in terror, self attack, and total fear. It's hard for me to have a soulmate desire because of the whole bigger picture of identity. I felt like my whole life was falling apart. I didn't have any direction and there was a lot of pressure around me to shut down emotionally.

And I think you processed some of the anger or rage you felt one weekend, and that caused you to give me a call the following weekend or something? Is that what happened?

Mary: No I actually decided I wouldn't. I tried to stay on the Divine Love Path because obviously I felt there was a truth and so I tried to stay connected with my emotions but there was just so much inside of me that I was resisting, I couldn't do it and I did connect to a little bit of anger but then I just felt so despondent and I said, "That's it, I'm not doing it, I'm not on the Divine Love Path, I'm not even going to pretend anymore." And actually after two weeks of that I became quite suicidal. I felt that I didn't know what I could do and that's when I called you. (01:13:11:00)

That's right. And so we talked again and I just said to Mary, "Look, you don't have to be with me but I'd love to be able to help you connect with your emotions and stay on the path if that's what you want. But you need to decide what you want basically; I'm happy to support whatever that is." And so we finished up talking a bit then on the phone about your emotions and I think within a day you connected to some big emotions about God that helped a lot. And then Mary started to come along to the groups a bit, still very tentative, weren't you? Still quite mistrusting of myself but she tended to come along, feeling the judgement now of some in the audience towards her because some now knew that I felt Mary was my soulmate and so forth, and feeling quite bad about that at times.

8.4. Mary and AJ's relationship depended on the emotions they were working through

Can you see how, as things are going, I'm working through emotions, she's working through emotions, we're both working through different emotions and our relationship, in terms of coming apart and coming together, was dependent on how much we were shutting down our emotions and then reopening our emotions and then shutting down our emotions again. It's like a pattern. There was another time where Mary decided, "No that's it," and we separated again for a period of time. She told me again that she had no attraction for me whatsoever. (01:14:49:00)

Mary: That's a really powerful thing that I learned; how much fear can affect desire. When I went into places of deep fear, I lost all attraction to AJ because his life, his identity was the trigger for my fear.

So it was fine from Mary's perspective while I was just AJ. She could handle that and we could have a relationship on that basis, but as soon as any Jesus stuff came into play, then basically Mary went into this place of really being terrified. And she tried to shut me down and then I had to say, "No, hang on a second; I can't be shut down on this issue. I told you at the start who I was," and so that created a lot of difficulty as well. Trust me, telling someone that you're Jesus is not the best way to find your soulmate, it never worked very well for me in the first century and it didn't work very well this century either. So anybody who says that I have an emotional investment in being Jesus so that I can attract Mary has no understanding whatsoever of what's actually happened between us. (01:16:03:00)

8.4.1. Truth is essential for the soulmate relationship

Mary: I find it hard to give an example of this stuff, because I feel like our experience is somehow different.

Yeah, what I'm trying to illustrate though is more how whenever myself or you got into a shutdown state towards the other that automatically caused us to go apart. This is a big thing to understand with your soulmate relationship - whenever we weren't in truth with each other, no matter what that truth was (for example if that truth was that I was attracted to twenty five other women or something), if that truth wasn't said, there was an automatic pulling apart between the two halves. And as soon as we started speaking the truth, no matter how bad it was, there was an automatic drawing together again. And this is an interesting thing about the soulmate union; it is totally dependent upon truth. All of the lessons you learn about truth are so important for your soulmate union. (01:17:18:00)

So what happened between us then was that we started realising how important truth was, no matter what, and as long as we stayed in truth and stayed open to our emotions, things would progress really well. But of course there were pretty difficult emotions to deal with still; I had difficult emotions to work my way through and sometimes when I was working my way through an emotion, Mary would start feeling responsible, which would actually make it worse in terms of dealing with my emotion. And then I'd talk to her about that and then she'd feel bad about that and then there was this constant to-ing and fro-ing going on emotionally. The key for us has been to stay in the transaction. We've attracted this relationship, stay in the transaction.

Mary: And I think living in the truth of the emotions as they happen. We have gone apart for even a day or two when we've felt this is not working, instead of sticking in, sticking in or skipping over or making the best of it, such as sleeping in the same bed when you're actually going through a lot of grief and anger with the other person. Actually physically being in the truth of whatever is happening really helped. (01:18:35:00)

So if I feel blocked towards Mary in any way I can't sleep with her, and Mary now feels the same way, and so we automatically part. Fortunately where we are we've got a tent down one side of the block and a tent somewhere else, and so we just sleep in separate places. We come back together again in the morning or during the day and we start talking about the same issue again and if we can't deal with it that day then we sleep apart again. And the same goes the next day and the next day and the next day and sometimes we've slept apart for up to a week or two weeks at a time doing that, dealing with the emotion but sleeping apart. It's happening more rarely now, but there are still occasions where I feel that Mary has got some grief to feel about me and if I'm with her she doesn't allow herself to feel it, so I withdraw out of that. And there are times when I've encouraged Mary to go away completely for as long as she wants to deal with some issues. So any person who says that I've somehow got my claws into Mary, as Mary is well aware, that is not the case because it's just so untrue. (01:19:50:00)

The issue is to allow each other to deal with your emotions, allow each other to state the truth to each other, no matter how bad it sounds and no matter how bad you feel as a result of it, because it is a part of your Law of Attraction. So allow that interaction to occur.

Mary: I was just going to say that that's been really powerful for me. In the beginning I really wanted to skip over a lot of emotions until I realised, "They're not going to go away; they're not going to be out of the relationship until I actually speak it and say it and we deal with the emotions that it brings up."

8.5. Dealing with anger towards the man in the relationship in loving way

Participant: I just wanted to ask, dealing with a lot of anger towards men after not realising I had anger towards men until coming into the relationship, and at first projecting a lot, caused a lot of shut down and a lot of negativity in the relationship. It's only been after yesterday's talk "The Human Soul \- The Soulmate Relationship" where we talked talking about the rage, that I saw how I've blamed Alex for everything he's done. I've blamed him instead of looking at myself and my not wanting to own my anger and get into the grief fully, and I've seen that I haven't been able to love. I've just realised I haven't been able to love him or anyone in my life and just last night I was seeing him as not my father, which sounds funny after so long, and seeing him not as God because my father was God to me. So he's not God and he's not my father; I just saw last night that he's just this beautiful soul. And love just came down from God and to Alex and we realised that soulmate love is from God, not from within ourselves. That was really beautiful. My question was around anger towards men, Mary; how to be in a loving space when processing anger towards men and be vulnerable when there's so much fear and there's so much grief in the process? You don't just get from the beginning of the rage to the love. There's a whole lot in between, and I see you being really loving to your soulmate and really encouraging and not projecting. How did you get from that place to...? (01:23:15:00)

Mary: I was talking to someone the other day and said I'm the example of what not to do. I still do it sometimes but I did have a big realisation recently about how much it's changed because when we first got together, with every emotion that was triggered in me there was huge rage going towards AJ. It was just through truth and owning it, removing myself physically from him to deal with it and acknowledging that I was so afraid. I was so afraid to be in a vulnerable space. All this stuff about him being better than me if he could see stuff in me, him controlling me... you're relating? Yep.

However, you also went through some emotions of blockages to your own emotion, because that was a big part of the change. Like, we would have a discussion, and once Mary started connecting emotionally to the discussion, her first emotion was always rage. So firstly she'd project a heap of anger about the discussion and then she'd get over that anger by going and doing some anger work or whatever. Then she'd get into her fear and would often stay in her fear, but sometimes then get into the grief, but the grief wasn't very frequent. But then we started looking at the whole process and it was actually about blockages, it was actually about the fears and her fear of her own emotions; that she wouldn't survive some of her own emotions. Once she started working her way through that group of emotions, of what she believed about her own emotions, then her projections at me changed markedly. (01:25:24:00)

Mary: Yeah, and I don't know how this happened but now I can feel, like I have a lot of stuff going on about my dad at the moment, but I realise that I'm not projecting that at AJ anymore. He's someone different to my dad now. But I think that's part of feeling our soulmate longing that's shifted as well; I'm not as afraid of my fear, and of my grief.

8.5.1. Anger caps deeper emotions

The only reason we get into rage anyway is that we're afraid of feeling a deeper emotion within ourselves. So start to focus on, "I'm allowed to feel my fear and I'm allowed to feel my grief." There was also this belief that entered Mary at some point; that you could cope with it. Because up until that point you would always say, "I just can't cope with it, I just can't cope with this. I can feel all this grief in me and I just can't cope with it." And because she felt that she couldn't cope with it, she was always getting into anger instead. But once she got through that and started to see that she herself could cope with this emotion that was inside of her, after that it changed quite a lot. (01:26:53:00)

Mary: I also just processed a block around feeling that I was never allowed to be angry with my dad and that was really powerful. Because it was okay to be angry with AJ if he was like my dad, but I realised I was so blocked at being able to feel that as little Mary, so that's really changed things.

So before then the men in Mary's family would project things at Mary and Mary wouldn't get angry with the men in her family in return, she'd just get angry with me.

Mary: Seriously, it was pretty bad.

It was like, every time her family got angry with me and with Mary, Mary would then get angry with me as well. So I had to work through some emotions about allowing that to continue, and I had to eventually say to Mary, "If you want to keep doing that, then we've got to go our separate ways because that's not loving to me." There had to be quite a bit of emotion I had to work through of allowing the woman to be angry with me all the time. So I worked through those groups of emotions and then Mary also worked through this emotion of not allowing herself to actually feel the rage towards the person who she really felt it towards, because she had felt disallowed from that in her childhood. (01:28:18:00)

So a lot of it was about getting rid of this feeling of, "I can't cope." Many of you are having this feeling, right? "I'm not going to be able to cope; I'm not going to be able to cope!" And so you go into this place of, "I can't cope, I can't cope," and that's what shuts you down. The truth is that if an emotion is coming up for you right now, God designed your soul to cope with it, whatever that emotion is. God designed your soul in such a manner that you can cope with whatever emotion is coming up from inside of you, that's how God designed your soul. But you have to get to a point inside of you where you trust that and that's an emotional place, it's not an intellectual place.

Mary: I also think that in the beginning I had so much rage at men. I had to be really honest about every situation, about what was going on. Because I couldn't process rage at men; that didn't get me anywhere. It was actually that I had a lot of blocks to feeling powerlessness, a lot of blocks to feeling the fear of vulnerability, or a lot of blocks to feeling less than a man. So now, when I think about it, I don't feel like I have any man anger. Sometimes I still get angry, but I feel like I've got these whole other bits of emotion that anger just seems to cap and I've spoken to quite a few women to whom it seems like that. Like, "I'm so angry at men," but as I got deeper, it was actually quite a specific bunch of emotions. (01:29:56:00)

A bunch of fears within yourself about your own self.

Participant: Can you go into some of those, Mary?

Mary: Feeling powerless around men, feeling that I'm less than men, feeling that a man is going to control me, grief about the way men have treated me, feeling like I'm responsible for the man's emotions, a lot of grief about feeling that men don't see me, men view me as a sexual object, that men have physically harmed me, that I've been violated, those kinds of feelings. And now I feel a lot closer to connecting to some of those feelings quite powerfully, but it took time to get there.

The rage or the anger is always covering over these more specific emotions, and the problem with rage or anger is that it's very similar to the emotion of unworthiness. We can use it as an excuse to avoid the deeper stuff. So when I say to you, "Oh, I feel unworthy," that helps me skip over all sorts of reasons why I'm unworthy. And if I say to you, "I'm just angry," that helps me skip over all the reasons why I'm angry. You've got to be willing to get into the reasons why and a lot of us aren't willing to get into the reasons why because all we want to do is be angry. Being angry is powerful, being angry means I can blame everybody else, being angry means I don't have to look at myself and I can get away with that because society generally also allows me to get away with that. So instead I just finish up saying, "Oh I'm angry!" "Don't bother me, I'm angry!" "And why are you angry?" "Don't ask me why I'm angry!" Because the truth is, I don't want to know why I'm angry either; I'd rather be projecting rage and stuff and blame at other people and I don't want to admit to myself that I want to do that. And in the end, once you get through that and you admit to yourself, "I do want to be angry, I do want to blame, I do want to project rage and anger, I don't want to release this emotion," then you start getting more honest about, "Alright, what emotion am I angry about, what is it that I'm angry about?" Then you're starting to deal with your fears of, "What am I angry about?" "I'm angry that I'll be controlled." It's a fear about being controlled in the end isn't it? "I'm angry that men have violated me"; that's a fear that you'll be violated in the future, if you open up your heart to a man, or the fear of the grief of being violated and so forth. (01:33:09:00)

8.5.2. Reaching the point of no longer accepting anger

Participant: I was just going to ask you, at what point did you realise it wasn't your Law of Attraction to cop that anger anymore?

Now that's an interesting question because when you're on the receiving end of anger or rage, quite often you think you have to put up with it and you go through lots and lots of emotions putting up with it like, "Why are they doing this to me? What have I done to them? I haven't done anything to them. Why are they hurting me?" You go through all of those kinds of emotions. And then after you've grieved a lot of those emotions, you realise actually, "Well I don't deserve this anger and I'm allowed to say that and allowed to draw a line in the sand and say that's enough." And when you get to that point, that's when you've healed a lot of the reasons why you've allowed somebody's anger.

Up until that point you allow it and then feel the resulting emotions and the key is to just allow yourself to process those emotions and you'll get to the point where you no longer allow it. When you get to that point, you don't even have to be angry in return. I just said to Mary, "Let's sit down; next time you're angry with me, you're out of here. I'm not putting up with that any more. It doesn't matter whether you're my soulmate or not. I am not your dad, I am not these abusers from the first century and you're treating me like I am, I am not these people who harmed you. I'm a man who loves you and cares about you, but I do not deserve this treatment anymore." And once I got to that point inside of myself, Mary also felt the firmness of that. Before then I was pretty wishy washy about that; I'd say that, but put up with it again and say it again and put up with it again. I got to the point where inside of myself there was this, "No, I'm not doing that," and I felt a lot of hurt about having to get to that point too. (01:36:00:00)

Mary: And it didn't actually stop me being angry. I still had to work through the emotions of anger.

Yeah, but I put to Mary that she needed to make a choice of what she was going to do from now on about this anger that she had. If she was going to project it at me, then she needed to leave. She could do anything else she wanted to do with her anger, but if she wanted to project it at me then she had to go.

So at that point she decided to go over to Milly's for a week and work through a lot of things, about why she was feeling so angry, owning her own process. Before then, Mary was not really owning her own emotional processing, and was sort of almost expecting me to drive her emotional process. So I just said that to her. "No I'm not responsible for your emotional process; you're responsible for driving that. If you don't want to do it, then stop getting angry with me about it and just say to me you don't want to do it and that's it." When Mary worked through whether she wanted to do it and wanted to do it for herself, then her anger projections changed quite a lot as well. (01:36:12:00)

Mary: I had huge feelings of resentment of the inevitability of our life, such as, "This is my soulmate and I can't choose, and I've got all this stuff in me now and it's got to come out and I don't remember choosing this."

And there were also feelings of inevitability if you did deal with it, "He will die anyway and what's the point?" There were a lot of her first century emotions of my going to die anyway, so what was the point of her dealing with the emotion and opening up her heart to me when I'm going to die again anyway? Then she'd have to go through all that grief after having opened up her heart to me. There was a lot of that emotion going through her as well at the same time. But I think the key shift was the shift that all of us need to make, which is, "Am I going to be fully responsible for my own emotions? Do I really, really want to be an emotional being? Do I really, really want to be connected to God myself, not because of anybody else? But because this is in me, I want this for me." And once you get into that state, you become a lot less resistive to having truth pointed out to you.

9. Audience questions

9.1. As one half of the soul progresses it draws the other half to it

Participant: AJ, I just wanted to ask you a question on behalf of a group of spirits who've been here since yesterday. It was just going back to a point that you touched on yesterday, that if you don't come together with your soulmate by the eighth sphere or something it had a huge ramification on your own progress? Does that ring a bell? Because they're a bit anxious that some of them had met their soulmate and they'd rejected them or vice versa and they were now getting quite anxious about what would happen. (01:38:16:00)

The only thing you can't do is make the transition between the twenty first and the twenty second sphere. Up until that point you can progress as much as you want by yourself. However I must say you will still have to heal the soulmate part of yourself before you make the transition into at-onement with God. You will then have many truths about the soulmate part of yourself that you will learn between the transition into at-onement with God and at-one with your soulmate. Now by the time your soul gets into that powerful state, it's highly unlikely, and to be frank I've never seen it occur in my lifetime of two thousand years, where one soul in a lower state hasn't been attracted to the soul in that higher state.

Mary: There's obviously a Law of Attraction between the soulmate halves and the more one progresses, the greater the pull is on the other one in the lower condition.

The pull on the soulmate half that is in the lower love condition is so intense that it's impossible to resist in the end. So as the other half of the soul progresses towards God, it's impossible for their soulmate to actually avoid progression.

9.1.1. An example of a spirit couple called Joseph and Miriam

Participant: Is it a case more of time then? For example in the case of Joseph and Miriam it's inevitable but it may just take a very, very long time?

Yes. Like in the case of Joseph and Miriam, who, by the way, are a couple that we've talked to that Monica has channelled. It was two thousand years between when Joseph entered the Celestial spheres and Miriam is now looking like entering into the Celestial spheres. Miriam had a lot of emotions towards Mary, a lot of rage and anger towards Mary and myself. She was hooked into herself being my soulmate, and she wouldn't let go of the fact that I wasn't her soulmate. She really felt a lot of rage from two thousand years ago towards Mary and that Mary was not worthy to be my soulmate. So because she had all of those emotions and she wasn't allowing herself to deal with those emotions, she was holding herself in this position. No matter what Joseph could say to her, she wasn't allowing herself to get out of that condition. And that required a Law of Attraction event, which was eventually our talking through you to her again, that actually triggered her out of that condition. But sooner or later every single person will draw their soulmate no matter what.

Now as soon as Miriam got out of the resistance to her own emotion, she felt an attraction to Joseph and this is the thing: as soon as we can help our soulmates to get out of their resistance to emotion they will automatically feel an attraction to us anyway. But how long that takes is going to be very dependent upon the will of that part of the soul and how they exercise that will, and in Miriam's case it took two thousand years for her to exercise her will to feel those emotions.

Now when I say it took two thousand years, she was obviously ready by the time we had the conversation to very, very quickly change. Over those two thousand years of time on Earth, she had obviously released quite a lot of that emotional baggage that got triggered in the first century, and she was in a place of readiness to start looking at her emotions in a serious manner.

Participant: So for the spirits who are feeling anxious that their soulmate has either rejected them or they've rejected their soulmate, if they just focus on their connection with God the rest will all follow naturally?

Yes, and also God is always working towards opening up every single one of his children, including your own soulmate. God has always got lots of things in play. Part of the opening up of Miriam that was in play was our return to Earth, and in fact Cornelius has experienced very much the same thing. There are a lot of people Cornelius harmed in the first century who have been in the hells for two thousand years, and his own return to Earth has actually helped them all move forward. Many of these ones who have been harmed by him are now moving forward on the Divine Love Path because of this opportunity that afforded us to help these ones. (01:42:55:00)

So the beauty of a lot of what God's plans are is that eventually everything comes to helping each person. God is intensely interested in the welfare of every individual and intensely interested in having you experience as much bliss as you can possibly experience. And because of that intense interest, He is also intensely interested in helping your soulmate open up at the soul level too. And there are many, many spirits by the way, in the spirit world, who are trying to assist your soulmates to open up as much as what you feel you are.

9.2. It's better to stay in the emotional truth of a situation before acting

9.2.1. An example of a lady whose partner had relationships with other women

Participant: After watching The Divine Truth DVD a couple of weeks ago, my partner shared with me that he'd gone through a period of having relationships with other women after we'd been in a pretty close relationship for ten years. The glue started to come apart and there are many parts to that. We'd become involved with another guru-type teacher who had heavily influenced our ideas about commitment and sexuality and that had affected me and eventually it really affected him as well, and we are both in a state of not being sure whether we are soulmates or not. I've been inclined to think not because I've become so aware of how heavy the co-dependence is in the relationship, particularly my part of it. And so initially, when it happened, I was actually foolishly very pleased to be told and then it started to sink in and my first reaction was that I kind of numbed it out, I went into shock and then I started to numb it out. Very fortunately I sent an email and Mary answered me so crystal clear in a very, very short one page email that I printed it off and colour-highlighted it. And then I sat down and started to use that to process and there's just one sentence in it and it was that all my life I had depreciated my worth and my loving value by overlooking the things that had happened in my marriage and with my current partner and with my father, and in fact with many men in my life. And it just took so long for that to get through the shell, I would sit down with it for hours at a time and just read it and try to get it to go in a bit further because I realised I had become so incredibly practiced at not noticing that I did that. And then I started to realise also that I'd done that with some women in my life as well. So where I'm at, at the moment, it's very hard in all of this to be really clear once you become very emotional or very upset, what the appropriate action is to do in this. (01:54:56:00)

My suggestion to you, Suzanne, is to not take action, yet. The reason I say that is that when we are in an emotional state, our highest priority is to complete the emotion rather than taking action upon the emotion. We are far better off completing the emotion first. Now the emotions that you are starting to feel are emotions of deep hurt in the way that men have treated you and even how you've treated yourself in relationship to the man, and the key is to allow yourself to fully experience those emotions inside of yourself, first, before you take any actions, because any actions you take at this point will be very much influenced by any emotional error that's still there within you.

And also you're in this situation now where truth has been told to you and it's really great that you've been told the truth; that's a wonderful thing for both of you that that's happened. The difficult part now is feeling your way emotionally through this truth. The key is to allow yourself to feel your emotional way through this truth rather than numbing yourself out of the truth, and there is going to be some grief there. There's going to be some grief related to all sorts of issues in terms of how you've personally been treated, how you've ignored certain things, how you enabled certain things to happen because of your hook into men and to getting men's approval, and all of these kinds of emotions will start coming up and flowing out of you. The key is to allow them all to come and flow and this is the reason for Mary's email to you; she wanted to help you do that. She could feel that you were numbing out to it and she wanted to say to you "Don't numb out of this, Suzanne, because this is a really good chance to grow from these experiences."

When you get to the other end of that and feel a lot of those emotions that are listed, then you'll know exactly what to do inside of yourself and when you know exactly what to do inside of yourself that's when to act. (01:57:05:00)

Participant: Right, that's very helpful, thank you.

So don't try to act at any point in time until you feel you must act. Whenever you ask somebody else, "What should I do?" you're really not feeling for yourself when you must act. So if I'm asking Mary, "What do I do?" I'm really wanting her to tell me what to do because I still haven't worked out how to act. What I need to do is feel what I'm feeling first, work my way through that, and then I won't feel like asking Mary what to do, because I will actually know what I should do right now. And right now is different to a week's time, by the way. So right now you might go, "I know what I've got to do, and I've got to leave right now." And you leave and you go to a motel room and for a week you cry and then you realise, '"Right, now I've got to be back home," and so you go back home and you stay there.

Understand also that no decision has to be a permanent decision. You have complete free will, which also gives you the free will to change your mind at any point in time; you're allowed to do that. So if you feel you must act right now and leave something, act right now and leave it. But if in a week's time you feel you made a mistake, go and say to the person that you made a mistake, and act in a different way.

Mary: I think you're saying that there's a difference between figuring it all out and having an action plan, and actually just living in the truth of whatever is emotionally happening right now.

Yeah, and understand that as you're processing the emotions, your actions will be very, very different. You'll process through one emotion that you allowed certain things to happen and then you'll feel, "Oh boy I'm partly guilty about all of this, you know, suggesting that I was okay with it when I wasn't," and all of these kinds of things and then you'll realise you might go through some anger with the guru, "How dare he do that and tell me that?" (01:59:09:00)

You'll feel the anger with that and then you'll go into the sadness of, "Ah no, look at how easily led I was by this man telling me all these things. Like, in the end I didn't feel it was right." And you'll cry about that and then afterwards you come out of a lot of those type of emotions. The key is to allow yourself to feel them, go through the feelings of them. When you come out of those emotions, you will know specifically for yourself how you want to act. And then act. Don't put that off because of fear of security or fear of something else, just act and everything will happen fine if you can do that.

Sometimes Mary and I have been in an interaction, where I've thought, "No, I've just got to leave now. I'm sorry, I've just got to leave," and off I trot out the door. Mary's crying and saying, "Please stay," or whatever and I say, "No, got to leave." Then bang and off I go and I'm down in the tent, which is about 500 yards away from the house, and I'm down in the tent and I'm processing and crying. I'm usually crying as I'm walking my way down there, and then crying down in the tent and I might be there for a day and then I come back up and I want to talk about it with Mary. (02:00:22:00)

Every single moment you can act differently, and if you're both still open to each other, you can do that together. If you're not both still open to each other, then you'll probably have to do that separately. But the issue is, I feel, understand that when you're in an emotional state it's not always the best time to act. The best time to act is when you're in clarity. Now you can be in an emotional state and in clarity at the same time, but sometimes we're in an emotion about my father, not about this man that I'm living with, and if I'm acting towards this man I'm living with as if he's my father, then that's obviously not clarity any more.

For example if Mary's saying to me, "You did this, you did that," and I'm going, "When did I do that? I can see what you're saying, your father did that but I never did that." That's not a moment of clarity for Mary to make a decision on that. Now she's totally able to make a decision on that if she wants and often if she does she might go off on that tangent and then, because she's taken the emotion to the finish, realise, "Wow that was really about my father," and then come back and talk to me about that.

So a lot of the times it doesn't really matter how it's handled, as long as you stay in the emotional connection and stay in the transaction of it and allow yourself to feel your way through it and keep the emotions flowing; in the end you will know what to do. You'll know the truth of what to do and you're allowed to make a mistake. You're even allowed to make a mistake with your soulmate. You're allowed to make a mistake with God too; you're allowed to. I've made plenty of mistakes, you're going to make plenty of mistakes on this Path too, and you're allowed to. One of the things is that God loves you through all of your mistakes as well and you're allowed to do that. So just allow the emotions to continue flowing. The reason Mary gave you the email was that she was concerned about the numbness; when you go into that state that's not helpful at all.

9.2.2. Working through numbness into deeper emotions

Participant: No, and I was completely and utterly numb. There are just one or two other things that I wanted to run past you. When I came here yesterday, the last thing in the world I expected was for the talk to be about soulmates. So it was really profoundly appropriate and yesterday during the talk I developed a huge migraine and was incredibly nauseated. When I got home last night I was very, very distressed and one of the problems I'm having with processing, which I've shared before, is a real difficulty in crying. I can't cry, so it's like I get to the cusp of an emotion and I just sit, like, on an agony edge and I can't tip. So I went to bed last night and I slept and I still felt sick this morning. But while getting motivated to come back, I actually felt a lot better and during the day I actually started to feel really, really good. I'd like to know does that mean that I've actually processed something and I'm feeling better or have I just skimmed away from it? (02:03:34:00)

There are some truths that you've accepted in the process over the last two days, but you still have the issue with crying about these truths. Whenever you receive a truth, you will feel better and not all truths need to have an emotional response for you to receive it. There'll be an emotional response of joy when you receive it and not grief for many truths, but with regard to your migraine was the heavy suppression of sadness. That's what caused your migraine. So there's a heavy desire in you to suppress your grief. What I would look at in myself in those situations is, "Why am I afraid of my grief?" Rather than trying to get to my grief, I would look at, "Why am I so afraid of this grief? What emotions in me cause me to fear this grief that I know is there so much that I'm willing to shut it down?" What I call that is "identifying your blockage to your grief," and you do need to feel your blockages.

One of the blockages is, "What's going to happen if I grieve this? Will I still be connected to my partner?" That's a blockage, because what happens if you grieve it and you realise, "Hey I'm not really connected to my partner now." What will happen then? (02:04:58:00)

Participant: Yeah, I've written pages in the meantime and I've identified a lot to do with security, to do with so many things. One of them is just the separation from my best friend, because in the past that's where I've gone.

Yes, that's always been your partner.

10. Closing Words

Anyway it's getting pretty late now so we want it to finish. Tomorrow night we'll be down in Brisbane giving a talk called "The Human Soul – Emotions, Truth and Judgement," and we'll talk about the effect of judgement on your emotions and the effect of truth on your emotions, and the difference between truth and judgement.

Thank you so much for your time again. (Applause)

