-That's my favorite song.
Guys, welcome to
"The Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
My name is Jimmy Fallon.
Thank you so much
for tuning in to our shows.
We're trying to give you
a fresh hour of entertainment
every single night.
It's been pretty grim news,
every single day,
but today was a little glimmer
of hope in New York City
that we may have
flattened the curve,
which is, you know,
far from over,
but, any good news, I'll take.
And I think that's awesome,
that we're all staying at home.
It's working.
So, everyone staying at home,
thank you so much
for doing that.
It is doing something,
so, I applaud every one
of you for doing that.
I know how hard it can be.
I'm very lucky to have
this house and this family,
but, it's tough,
so, I applaud you guys.
Thank you for staying at home.
Let's flatten that curve.
We have a great show tonight.
Kerry Washington is on the show.
She's a good friend of our show
and she has a new show called
"Little Fires Everywhere,"
that her and Reese Witherspoon
are starring in on Hulu.
And get those two together,
I'm there.
I'll watch that show anytime.
Her charity is...
and we thank Kerry
for coming on.
We'll be talking to her
later in the show.
Also, Andrew Rannells,
from the show "Black Monday,"
will be on the show.
On Showtime.
Andrew, he was supposed
to be our show Friday,
before we left the studio.
His charity is Meal Train.
I've never heard of this.
This is a new charity to me,
but it's fascinating,
how they're
feeding people that are
on the front line.
It's a really cool way to do it
and I think kind of
an unknown charity,
so that's a great thing
to broadcast
to millions of people
watching our show
on NBC and on YouTube,
so thank you so much.
Click on that
and donate to that.
Very cool.
Then, we're closing out the show
with Anderson Paak [ Clap ]
and the Free Nationals!
Anderson Paak!
He has a song
in the new
"Trolls World Tour" movie,
[ Shouting in distance ]
which is out today.
Right now,
you can get it On Demand.
Go to -- Well,
"'Trolls' movie" --
I don't know.
Google "Trolls."
How do I watch
the "Trolls" movie?
-I don't know,
but we will be watching it.
-I know we'll -- more than once.
Really? You don't wanna hear
"Mary Had a Little Lamb"
150 times?
-But we can do all.
-We can do all.
-We've got time for all of it.
-Uh-oh, what's --
Oh, no.
You know I don't like one
animal, and one animal only.
Oh!
-Uh-oh.
-My goodness!
What is this?
-[ Hissing ]
-What sounds like that?
-[ Hisses ]
-Sna-a-a-a-a-a-a-ke!
[ Laughing ]
Oh, no!
Get that snake away from me.
Aaaaah! Aaaaah!
I'm so scared of the snake.
-Ahhhhh!
-Thank you so --
Oh, no.
Get that snake --
I'm afraid of the snake.
I'm afraid of paper cuts, too.
I will say that
Anderson Paak's charity...
-Winnie, I wanna play that, too.
-...That he is doing is...
...which is raising money,
'cause a lot of the crews
that are part
of these giant tours
and theses concerts are
out of jobs as well.
And unemployment, honestly,
is at an all-time high.
I don't know --
I mean, this is my crew,
so I don't know what I'd do
without my wife.
Thank you, honey.
-[ Chuckle ]
-And, Winnie and Frannie,
thank you guys so much.
Again, Frannie,
one of your best,
one of your best works.
I think, around here is where
you just thought about,
you know,
playing something else.
But it's Friday.
Let's go do some
monologue jokes.
♪♪
You wanna get up?
[ Tapping ]
[ Patting thighs ]
Come up! Up!
Up!
Up.
Good girl. Up.
Up.
Good girl. Sit!
-[ Laughing ]
-Good girl! Sit!
-[ Laughing ]
-Good girl.
Gary.
-Just tell her to be cute.
-Alright. Be cute.
-Aww. She's such a good dog.
-[ Laughing ]
[ Sigh ]
Thank you, Gary.
Breathe! Breathe heavy.
-[ Laughing ]
-On my leg.
-[ Laughing intensifies ]
-Good girl. See?
We did a little trick
I taught her.
-"On my leg."
-Not many dogs know
that one, huh?
But you do, Gary.
You know it.
-[ Laughing ]
-[ Taps desk ]
Yeah. Welcome
to "The Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
Well, you guys,
this Sunday is Easter.
Happy Easter, everyone.
You can tell everyone is trying
to be safe for the holiday.
Earlier today,
I saw the Easter bunny
rubbing Purell
on his jelly beans.
That's right, Easter is Sunday,
and it's hard
to make things festive.
We're really in trouble.
We don't even have
the fake grass to put
in the Easter basket.
After the show, I'm gonna have
to take a Kermit doll
and crank him
through our pasta maker.
[ Laughs ]
That's right,
it's almost Easter
and, even though everyone is
in quarantine, on Sunday,
millions of parents
will be like,
"Sweetie, I bought
you this dress
and you're wearing it
for my Instagram post."
-[ Laughs ]
-Gotta get those likes.
Let's get to some news.
Dr. Fauci says he expects
that students will be able
to return to school in the fall,
or, as homeschool
students put it,
"Wow, that's just
40 months away."
Listen to this --
In London, two people
across the street
from each other
performed "Romeo and Juliet"
while their neighbors
kept yelling for them
to both drink poison.
[ Laughing ]
[ English accent ]
It's 3:00 in the morning!
A man in England spent
four days walking
up the stairs in his house
until he ascended
the height of Mount Everest,
which just goes to show you,
anything is possible
when you're avoiding
homeschooling your kids.
And, finally,
there's a website called
"Make Me a Cocktail"
that shows you how
to make drinks with the
ingredients in your fridge,
though, after a month
of quarantine,
most people's only option
is a duck-sauce-tini.
There you have it, everybody.
That is my monologue!
It is Friday and that's usually
when I send out some emails,
I check on some stuff,
and I usually some write
some thank-you notes.
Let's do some thank-you notes
right now. Let's go.
[ Funk sting plays ]
James, can I get some thank-you
note writing music, please?
♪♪
Perfect.
Thank you, Bernie Sanders,
for running such a principled
and inspiring
presidential campaign.
Tonight, treat yourself
to that whole bag
of Werther's Originals.
You've earned it.
♪♪
Thank you, recently released
"Coachella" documentary,
for making me feel nostalgic
about a woman in a flower crown
hugging me and then
vomiting on my back.
♪♪
We'll be back there soon, guys.
♪♪
Thank you, wearing face masks
when you leave your house,
for making every trip
to the grocery store feel like
"Mad Max: Fury Road."
♪♪
Thank you, quarantine,
for bringing out
the best in Americans --
our resilience, our acts
of support for one another,
and, for some reason,
an obscene amount
of banana bread.
♪♪
I'm on two loaves a week.
♪♪
Thank you, everybody
leaving a Zoom conference,
for giving me a brief moment
to see how all of my coworkers
are really feeling.
Bye, guys!
♪♪
Thank you,
changing your bedsheets,
or, as it's called now,
cleaning your office.
♪♪
Thank you,
not wanting to waste food,
for justifying last night's
onion-and-cookie dinner.
♪♪
♪♪
Thank you,
NASA researchers announcing
there's gas coming from Uranus.
Hm. Ooh.
If only there was a joke there.
♪♪
Thank you, bathrooms,
or, as parents with toddlers
call them now,
panic rooms.
♪♪
Thank you,
America staying home.
Even though we're apart,
we can come together
over one simple idea --
teachers should make
a billion dollars.
♪♪
Those are my thank-you notes.
We'll be right back with more
"Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
