Heya playa, there are five signals that you're
giving off with your body language that's
instantly turning off your crush and I'm gonna
teach you how to fix them right now.
For those of you that are new here, my name
is Josh and every single week I make videos
sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you
how to be your best self so, if you want to
learn and grow.
Hit the subscribe button and make sure to
click on the notification bell.
Now body language is a tricky thing to talk
about because it encompasses so much.
What you do with your face, how you stand,
how you walk, how you talk.
Everything you do with your body, that person
is perceiving.
And they may not be consciously reacting or
even be able to put into words exactly what
you're doing but, they pick up on the little
signals that you give off.
So it's important for you to be conscious
of your own signals.
Of your own body language that you're putting
out there so you can correct it and fix it
and make it so that your crush can be way
more attracted to you.
So the first thing you're gonna wanna work
on fixing is your posture.
So many people walk around kind of slumped
over with a hunch back and it makes you look
a lot smaller, a lot weaker, a lot less present
than they actually are.
Instead they're gonna see a person who's kind
of defeated looking.
A person that doesn't really have a lot of
pep in their step.
The straighter you stand is gonna make you
kind of take up more space and look more confident.
But the problem there isn't so much standing
up straight when you're thinking about it,
it's that you tend to slouch and hunch over
when you're not thinking about it.
Once you stop consciously thinking about standing
up straight, it's gonna happen to you.
It happens to me all the time, so, I've developed
a technique called "The Doorway Technique"
that's gonna help you stand up straighter.
It's a pretty simple one, every single time
you walk through a doorway, use that as a
way to enter into a room feeling confident
and bold about yourself.
Stand up straight, recognize that every single
time you pass through any doorway.
I don't care if you pass through two or three
doorways in a row, stand up straight every
single time you do it.
If you start to work that into your routine,
your body's going to start subconsciously
doing it.
Every single time you pass through a doorway,
you're going to stand up straight, and by
standing up straight your crush is going to
notice that you're exuding a level of confidence
that you didn't before.
The second body language trick that you're
going to want to work on is being more physically
present.
This is a problem that a lot of people run
into because they're not physical with the
people they interact with.
So when the time comes for them to hug someone
or put their arm around someone, or hold their
hand, it seems so foreign to you.
So how do you start integrating that kind
of physicality into your interactions with
your crush?
If you've never been physical with them in
any kind of way, how do you start doing it
now?
Well, I think before we even get to your crush,
before we start doing anything with them,
you're gonna wanna start doing it with everyone
else that you know.
For example, when you're talking to people
put your arm on their shoulder and lean in
to listen to them.
This is going to make them feel like you care
a lot more about what they're saying and it's
going to start to introduce the fact that
you are more of a touchy-feely person.
That for you it's not foreign or weird, it's
just how you are.
Or for example, the next time you run into
your friend, give them a hug as soon as you
see them.
That's a good way to welcome them back in
and it makes it easier for you to start integrating
physical touch into your interaction.
But talking about physical touch always comes
with a caveat and that's simply this, you
never want to interact or be physical with
someone in a way that's going to make them
feel uncomfortable.
So how do you know that they're feeling uncomfortable?
Maybe they don't outright say that they don't
want you to do that.
You have to pay more attention to their own
body language.
Are they receptive when you put your hand
on their shoulder?
Are they receptive and hold you back when
you go for a hug?
If you go to hold their hand, or you go to
talk to them in some kind of physical way
like that, how are they responding to you?
They may not outright say that they don't
want to do it but, if they're pulling back
a little or they're a little hesitant or they
just kind of go silent as you do it, that
might be an indication that being physical
with them is something you should stay away
from.
But once you start incorporating these physical
touches into your day to day interactions
with people, your crush is going to start
to take note of that and they're going to
start to open up and feel comfortable doing
that around you as well.
Number 3, this is something that happens to
a lot of people and I have a technique to
help you work through it but if you're someone
that finds yourself being very fidgety or
nervous, or you look around a lot or you keep
tapping your leg on the ground or you just
kind of keep rubbing your shoulders or doing
something that's demonstrating this idea of
nervousness around your crush, I know how
to fix it.
A lot of times, the reason why you get so
fidgety is because you're spending a lot of
time in your own thoughts, you're overthinking
things, you're worrying about things that
may not actually be there.
And because of that, you find another way
to kind of offset that stress and that might
be tapping your foot or that might be not
making eye contact and looking around nervously.
And in those moments, I personally think the
best thing you can do is to work on being
still.
Now to be still simply means to take a second
to step outside of your own mind, to recognize
you're in this present moment and to focus
on your breathing.
I think focusing on your breathing is the
most powerful things you can do whenever you
feel nervous.
So how do you do that?
Well, let's do it together right now.
What I want you to do is to sit there and
close your eyes.
Yes I know, you might be in a public place
or you might be around people but just for
a second, close your eyes.
And then, I want you to take a breath in.
Focus on the air going into your lungs and
coming into your body, focus on holding it
there and now let that breath out.
And feel the air kind of leaving your lungs.
We'll do it one more time guys.
Breathe in.
And breathe out.
All we did was take two breaths, but don't
you feel just a teeny bit more calmer now?
Maybe whatever was bothering you before isn't
on your mind and that's the whole key point
here.
You can close your eyes or keep them open.
Do it when you're in the middle of a conversation
or when you're just sitting by yourself, the
whole point really is to just come back to
this present moment using your breathing.
When you do that, you're able to calm the
tension in your body.
Even if it is only for a few seconds or so.
You're taking your mind off of the things
that really make you nervous, and this could
be a super powerful technique when you're
interacting with your crush.
Think about it, how many times have you kind
of just froze up in that moment and just didn't
know what to say or kind of just got jumbled
over your own words or just started to feel
your palms get sweaty and you just didn't
know what to do in that moment so it's easier
to just retreat and just not interact with
them.
When you do these types of things, your crush
is gonna take notice of that.
They're going to see that you're not entering
the stage and you're not talking to them with
confidence.
So that's actually going to hurt your chances,
so you want to improve your chances, learning
how to be here, be still is going to make
a drastic difference guys.
And this is something you should be practicing
well before you start interacting with your
crush.
Learning how to take a step back and return
to the present moment by taking a deep breath
is gonna help prepare you for the upcoming
moments ahead that are going to be stressful
and nervous.
And I think it's important to remember that
not everyone is going to be able to just turn
off all of their fidgeting.
There are some people who have nervous ticks,
or stutter, or they just can't make eye contact.
And it's ok, remember guys, you're doing the
best that you can and I think that's amazing.
Number 4 is one that I think is going to really
hit home with you and that's to open up and
not create a barrier between you and your
crush which so many people do with something
like this.
One of the weird things that humans tend to
do whenever they're in a nervous situation
is they try to find something to grab on to
to try to protect themselves, to shield themselves.
If you're at a bar, it might be holding your
drink in front of you.
If you're at a party and sitting on the couch,
it might be putting a pillow in front of you.
Today, a lot of people use their phone as
a protective barrier.
Because sometimes looking at your phone is
a good distraction from interacting with the
person in front of you.
And if you're kind of just standing there
and looking down at your phone and looking
down at it every so often when you interact
with someone, they're not gonna feel like
they have your undivided attention.
They're gonna feel like you're paying attention
to this and them at the same time, and because
of that you're not as interested.
So here's what I would recommend doing.
If you're talking to your crush and you have
your phone in your hand, acknowledge it.
Say something like, hold on, let me put this
way.
Put it in your pocket and turn to face your
crush.
Now they know you're paying attention to them
and only them.
And this subtle move is going to make all
the difference.
They're gonna feel like you're completely
invested in the conversation with them and
it's going to come off super confident.
The fact that you're willing to put your phone
away because you really do care about what
they have to say is going to make them feel
a bit flustered, feel like "wow, this person
actually likes me in some kind of way" and
that's a good thing.
And look, I know you're probably thinking
but they still have their phone out when they're
talking to me and that's creating a barrier
because they're not giving me their undivided
attention, that's gonna happen from time to
time.
Remember, your focus here is on your body
language.
What you can do to show that person that you're
more present.
As you talk more and more to your crush and
hopefully get them more involved in the conversation,
the phone will become secondary and eventually
it won't be part of the equation.
And the 5th body language trick that you can
work on is something I mentioned in a video
over here where I go way more in-depth on
the topic but, it's important to make good
eye contact and to speak slower when you talk
to that person.
So many people rush out their words or just
can't make eye contact and it makes that whole
interaction uncomfortable for the both of
you.
Now when it comes to eye contact, you may
want to use a technique that I call "Ground
to the Sky" and that's to kind of look down
before you start talking to them and to kind
of gradually lift your eyes up to meet theirs.
Once you lift your eyes up to meet theirs,
try to hold it there.
Don't try to look around and stuff a lot of
times people will look away and then look
at their crush but I think doing this kind
of gradual raise of your eyes is gonna make
it easier for you to kind of lock it once
you get to the top eye contact level.
And you might be thinking, how long do I hold
eye contact?
Do I just stare a hole into them?
But, try to hold eye contact as long as they
hold eye contact.
If they look away, it's ok for you to look
away.
But always try to return back to making eye
contact.
The more you kind of look deeper into someones
eyes, the more they're gonna feel like you're
really paying attention to them, who they
are deep inside.
You're not just someone casually hearing them
and that's that, you're someone who really
values what they have to say.
And that's something your crush will really
appreciate because chances are, other people
that like your crush as well, aren't doing
these things.
Maybe they casually talk to them or maybe
they flirt but they're not creating an experience
where your crush can feel like they're totally
enveloped in them.
And when I talk about speaking slower, you're
going to notice the instant difference when
I start doing it right now.
For example, if I were to explain this point
to you a little bit slower while maintaining
eye contact, doesn't it feel like I'm really
paying attention to my words and closely sharing
them with you in a way that's deep and profound
much more than if I were to just casually
talk like this at this speed?
It's that little bit of mystery in your voice,
in your tone, in how you carry yourself that's
going to make all the difference when you
interact with your crush.
Trust me, the other people that are talking
to your crush aren't doing these things so
if you're willing to step up your game, you're
gonna actually increase your chances and odds
of getting their attention and getting them
to feel interested in you.
I really want you to start using these body
language techniques when you interact with
your crush.
Don't just hear the information and go about
your day, start putting them into practice.
And what I want you to do right now is to
check out the video over here where I break
down more body language techniques, things
you should probably know when you're interacting
with your crush or anyone else that you want
to get the attention of.
They're gonna make all the difference in the
world guys so check out the video and I'll
catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.
