When I was like 15 a news channel did a story
about: a crazy fad sweeping the globe.
It involved running, climbing, jumping, and
most importantly, doin’ sick flips. It was
called Parkour, and it looked sweet.
I went online and found videos of people doing
Parkour set to over the top electronic music
with tons of unnecessary edits and effects.
There were even videos shot in my city, at
places that I had been to! Some guys from
Boise called themselves Team Paradox, and
their videos might have been the coolest thing
I had ever seen. (Mostly cause I knew the
places from the videos) But I liked editing
videos, so if I learned how to do Parkour,
I too could make Parkour videos set to electronic
music with tons of unnecessary effects, and
be just as cool as them!
So I did more research. I found sites listing
moves, and how to do them. Team Paradox even
had their own website that listed the best
spots around town.
“Web design and parkour!? What can’t they
do!?”
I don’t know why, but so many things about
this just tickled my little nerd brain. I
had discovered a secret world that existed
completely unknown to most. A mere shadow
to the unenlightened. A parallel universe
that only a select few could enter.
That was essentially just me realizing, “oh
cool I can climb on stuff.” But it felt
like something bigger. There were others out
there. And they too, could climb on things.
I was afraid to try Parkour alone. Besides,
if I was gonna ask my mom to drop me off downtown,
I’d need to convince someone to go with
me. I asked some friends but none of them
could understand why I was so excited. They
said it looked dangerous, and might require
trespassing… Cowards.
So I asked even more people if they knew anyone
else interested. My friend Brody - oh hey
Brody - gave me a name and a phone number.
Alex was a year older than me and word on
the street? He was a Parkour beast. So I called
his house and asked his mommy if he was home.
It felt weird just cold calling someone to
ask if they wanted to train together, but
Alex just so happened to be looking for other
Parkour beasts to train with, and my disappointment
in my friends for not taking this seriously
convinced him that I was that beast, so he
agreed. He’d soon find out that I was garbage,
but don’t worry about that. He also gave
me the number of another person who might
want to train. Gary lived pretty close to
me, and when I called him, he agreed to meet
at the swingset that weekend.
I sat on a swing nervously. I had no idea
what he looked like. That guy doesn’t look
like he’s waiting for anyone. Those people
all know each other… This was a bad idea,
he’s probably not even coming, I should
go home.
But before I left, I saw someone walking on
the path to the swings. He was wearing sweatpants
and looked just about as nervous as I felt.
This was it. Oh man, what if I walked up to
this guy and he wasn’t Gary? That was his
name, right? What would I even say? This is
embarrassing, I should leave.
Gary walked up to the woodchips surrounding
the swingset and paused for a moment, before
busting out the sickest flip I had ever seen.
That was the first time I had ever seen someone
do a flip without like, a trampoline, and
I was in awe. I went over to introduce myself,
and we’ve basically been best friends ever
since. Finally, I had someone to make sick
parkour videos with.
For the next several years we trained and
practiced Parkour at every possible opportunity.
We honed our craft, and pushed our mortal
bodies to their limits.
There were these handrails on one side of
our school, next to the door without a doorknob,
and during lunch we would go practice vaults.
I don’t mean to brag, but I do a pretty
mean reverse vault. Most kids did not see
the appeal, and would sit on the little grassy
hill overlooking the rails making snide remarks.
But joke's on them! If they thought that was
cringey, just wait until they find out I’m
a YouTuber.
On weekends we’d go downtown to train and
hang out. Gary and Alex are ridiculously skilled
and would do all sorts of flips. I was too
scared to push myself and risk getting hurt,
so I never got my backflip down, maybe one
day...
If you’re gonna practice flips, it’s really
important to have a safe place to land, like
a big ole cushion. The problem is that when
you’re swinging through the concrete jungle,
there’s not usually an abundance of cushions
laying around. But one day we happened across
a mattress behind a parking garage. I wasn’t
about to sleep on it, but for breaking falls,
it’d do. I practiced a front flip or two,
Gary did acrobatic stunts that would make
your brain explode, the usual.
The next week, we went back to the same place
to find the mattress had been hauled away...
and replaced with a new mattress! Which was
great, two weekends of flip practice in a
row! The next next week... the same thing
happened. In fact, every time we went to the
Mattress Spawn Point, an entirely different
mattress was waiting for us! I’m talkin
tempurpedic, memory foam, crib. The parkour
gods were smiling upon us.
We got into all sorts of places that most
people didn’t even know existed. Just about
any building I wanted to get on top of, Gary
was more than happy to cosign my bad decisions.
The Albertsons down the street from our school
had a couple pipes running up the side that
you could climb to the roof until they added
a security camera. There must have been so
many security systems sold because of us.
I bet that really stimulated the economy...
we’re such good citizens.
Now there are some buildings that didn’t
have pipes or fire escapes or anything, and
clearly the only way to appreciate the views
those buildings had to offer was through the
use of a grappling hook. Gary and I always
joked that anything is possible with a grappling
hook. But we never got our hands on one, which
honestly, probably kept us from getting hurt.
The only time I ever did get hurt, I wasn’t
even on X-Games mode, I was trying to do a
kong vault under a horse statue, but I clipped
my knee. I sat down on a park bench, and there
was blood, but the cut wasn’t that deep.
Anyway, some lady walked up and kept saying
I was gonna need stitches, but when I told
her no, really, I’ll be fine, she shouts
YOU NEED JESUS… So, that’s the Jesus bench.
I think the most insane stunt anyone in the
group ever pulled was when Alex did a flip
from the fourth story of a staircase to an
adjacent building. The first time he did it,
he didn’t even warn anyone that he was about
to, he just ran at the railing, dove over
it backwards, and lands the flip flawlessly
on a roof I didn’t even know you could get
to, all the while yelling DIEEE.
I looked down to the street and some nark
was looking up at us on their phone. I was
pretty sure he was calling the cops, so I
told everyone to bail. And the way I like
to tell this story is that when a group of
parkour kids decides to go somewhere, it doesn’t
take long, so we made it to the other side
of downtown in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,
whatever that means. But that was a really
good spot, and everyone said he probably wasn’t
calling the cops so we headed back. We made
it across town twice, on foot, well before
the cops showed up. But they DID show up.
The cop gets out of his car and says “I
hear you kids are jumping off buildings up
here” and in a moment of brilliance, Alex
looks over the edge and goes “You’d have
to be crazy!”
A couple weeks ago I was back in Boise for
my Mom’s wedding. That’s right everybody,
she finally found me a stepdaddy! Congratulations
MomTom! But while I was there, I called up
Gary and initiated Project: Go Downtown With
Nice Cameras And Film The Totally Dope Parkour
Montage Set To Over The Top Electronic Music
That We Always Wanted To Make In Highschool
But Didn’t Have The Resources To Do Properly
Until Now... dot com. Enjoy!
Thank you so much for watching. Please go
follow Gary on Instagram, this video wouldn’t
have been possible without him. Link’s in
the description and I’m really hoping you’ll
show him some love because we spent days filming
that montage, aaaand I only used like a minute
of footage. Ok bye!
