

Sweetness

A Bold as Love Novel

Lindsay Paige

Copyright © 2011 by Lindsay Paige

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without prior written permission of the copyright owner.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

For information: http://lindsaypaigebooks.com/

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Acknowledgements

For my best friend. Thanks for believing in me and giving me

that push when I became frustrated.

For my Momma. Thanks so much for being encouraging and

pointing out my progress with my anxiety when I felt there was no hope.

I love you both so much and you are like Jake to me. You show me that I can make it through my tough times. I'm lucky to have you both in my life.

"There is never a time or place for true love.

It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing,

throbbing moment."

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

1

Emily

I kept my eyes pointed towards the floor. It wasn't a pretty sight with shoes and legs crowded into a little space along the hallway. I hurried to my locker. It seemed to take forever to reach it. I spun the dial of my lock and grabbed my things for English, my last class. Someone rushed by, causing me to crash into my locker.

I sighed, reached for my iPod, and slammed the locker closed. That short act of slamming the metal door closed and hearing the clack of metal on metal made me feel slightly better. It was a smaller ecstasy of doing something like standing on the top of a three-story building and throwing stuff over the edge. Seeing it fall and break into pieces could give anyone a rush. Slamming the locker was like that for me.

I rushed to my class and took my seat in the back. I plugged my earphones in and found the song that would make me forget everything. It was the one thing in this hectic world that made everything fall away and make me feel normal and whole again. The beat drummed against my ears and relaxed me. It's funny how the rock song "Monster" from the awesome band Skillet could relax me so.

I waited for the assignment of the day to be given. I hoped that it would be something easy and something that did not require more thought or interaction. Maybe today would be a good day for once.

"Today, you will each have a partner and you will be working on..." Mrs. Park's voice droned on.

I guessed it wouldn't be a good day after all.

I turned the volume up loud enough to feel the effect but quiet enough that the teacher wouldn't say anything. I reached for the paper from the girl ahead of me and began reading our assignment. I used to dislike those who wanted one person to do all the work. After the past year, I'd come to love them. Even worse, we would have to finish this project outside of class.

Seats and desks began to scrape the floor as the assigned partners began to pair up. Maybe if I didn't acknowledge that we were pairing up, I could get away with working alone. I reached into my bag for a pencil and came up to look at the face of Jake Benson. He gave a slight smile and pulled a desk in front of mine.

Jake was one of the best hockey players on our team. To be sure, he would want me to do all the work. I kept my head down and started working. I had been working for five minutes when something touched my arm, causing me to jump. I looked up into his face. Quickly, I looked back down to avoid eye contact. I pulled an earphone from one ear and quietly asked, "What?"

His deep voice reached over and seeped into my ear. "We're supposed to be working together."

Oh. "I...I can do it. It...it's no problem. I don't mind." I silently cursed my mother. I doodled on my sheet, waiting for a reply.

"I'm not going to let you do it all yourself."

I sighed. "Okay," I whispered.

"Okay," he repeated.

My stomach knotted up tightly and I began to feel crammed in this class. He started to ramble about the piece of literature over which we were supposed to answer questions. I occasionally added a quiet piece of input.

Jake's deep voice, broad shoulders and muscular body made me feel smaller than usual. His height of roughly six feet didn't do much to make me feel better either. I sank further in my seat and wished for the day to be over. I hated working with Jake. I wanted to keep my eyes on my desk. I didn't-couldn't- look at him when he asked for my input. He wouldn't be satisfied until I looked up and answered him.

I was uncomfortable. My leg was bouncing up and down as fast as I could move it. The shrill sound of the bell made me jump. "Are you okay?" Jake asked.

"Fine," I mumbled getting my things together. I rushed out of the class into the packed hallway, thankful that the day was over. I quickly went to my locker and got the books I would need for homework tonight. I shoved them into my bag and slammed the locker shut.

I walked down the hall avoiding others and watching the feet rush past me. Reaching the double doors, I pushed one open and inhaled the fresh fall air. I walked briskly past the parking lot to the sidewalk. My home wasn't but two miles up the road. My dad bought me a car when I moved in, but I preferred walking to school.

I could clear my head and get a little exercise. The crisp autumn air felt good against my skin. I was a mile from the school when a car slowed beside me. How could this day get any worse?

Unfortunately, a familiar voice called out, "Emily, do you need a ride home?"

I looked over and focused on the car door. "No. Thanks." I replied.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded my head and turned to keep walking. Seconds later, his car went past. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. What was his problem? I didn't bother anyone. I didn't talk to anyone. For goodness sake, I didn't even look anyone in the eyes! Why was he being nice?

He couldn't like me. No one did. Well, my dad did, but he was my dad. He couldn't think I was pretty, because I was not. I didn't say much, so maybe he thought that I was not the brightest crayon in the box. That was it! Jake thought I was stupid and had pity for me. I didn't need his pity. I got enough of that from my dad. My walk was over and I didn't feel any better.

The driveway was empty. Good. I didn't feel like seeing my dad right now. I pulled my key from my front pocket and unlocked the door. I shut it behind me and made my way inside. My house was a simple, two-bedroom house with a side garage. I loved the hardwood floors and the coolness of walking barefoot.

My dad, on the other hand, didn't. It was apparent due to the many rugs scattered throughout the house. My room was the only room in the house without a rug, and I loved it. I had a canopy bed and I loved to flop onto its plush mattress. I sank into it and felt like I was on a cloud.

My bed and the floors were my favorite and only features of my room. It was otherwise bare, something my dad had tried repeatedly to make me change. The walls were white. The only other things in the room were a dresser and a nightstand. Simple.

That's what I called it and that's how I liked it. Outside of my room, pictures lined the hallway and covered as many surfaces as possible. There used to be pictures of my mom, my dad, and me. After the past year, my dad hid all the pictures of my mom. He didn't want me to have to look at her. So now, the pictures were of my dad and me. A few pictures had captured moments of pure happiness with some of my friends.

Those friends were gone. I was a loner now. Those moments of pure bliss were gone. Those moments full of fun and life were gone. Sometimes, it felt like those moments would never exist again. Thanks, Mom.

"Honey, supper is finished." My dad's voice carried to my room. I had finished my homework an hour ago and had spent the rest of my time staring at the ceiling. I rolled off my bed and walked to the kitchen. My feet felt like lead. I always despised this. After the past year, my dad insisted that we eat together at the table like a family. News's flash Dad, families talked during dinner. When we ate, I always felt awkward.

I sat down and fixed myself a plate. Tacos were one of the few meals my dad could cook. With my food on my plate, the routine questions began.

"How was school?"

"Fine."

"Homework?"

"Finished."

"Any plans this week?"

"Nope."

"How about we do something? We haven't done anything fun in a while."

"I don't feel like it."

This is where our conversation changed. My dad sighed and said, "Hon, I know your mom put you through hell, but you can't just stay in the house all the time. You need to get out, have fun, and get back to normal. I know it'll be hard, but I'm here for you."

This time I sighed. "I am back to normal."

My dad spoke quietly, "Honey, you are not back to normal. You won't even look me in the eye, much less anyone else. You hardly ever talk. Sometimes, I think you've lost your voice! Moreover, when you do talk, it's so quiet that I have to strain to hear you. You don't hang out with your friends anymore and you stay home all the time. You used to be so full of life, hon."

My eyes welled up with tears. I looked down into my lap and tried not to break down. "I'm fine." I cannot hang out with friends when I didn't have any. Moving to a new school and being the new kid doesn't help making friends any easier. I was not spending time alone to be miserable. Why couldn´t he just leave me alone?

"I'll help you work through this. Please just try."

"What do you want me to do?" That was probably the longest sentence I'd spoken all day.

"There's a hockey game Thursday, right?" I nodded. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Well, we will go to the game. You'll love it. It's not NHL, but it's still hockey."

He was using my love of hockey against me. We used to go to games all the time. I suddenly had the urge to go to the rink. I wanted to feel the crisp coldness as it attacked my skin, which would make tiny chill bumps pop up. I wanted to get mad as hell at the ref for making a bad call. I wanted to pull my hoodie off because I was too hot from cheering.

I was a huge fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but we lived in North Carolina. We would go and watch the Hurricanes play, especially when the Penguins were in town. They would be in town next week.

I took a quick breath and asked, "Can we go see the Pens play next week?" I peeked up and saw his grin grow wider.

"Of course! You can go buy the tickets after dinner. You can invite a friend too, if you'd like." Tears sprang to my eyes again. I pushed my plate away and excused myself.

I all but ran to my room. I shut my door and collapsed on my bed. I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I cried for all the things I had lost and asked the same question I always do: Why me?

An hour later, my eyes were dry, and I was exhausted. I stumbled over to my dresser and brought my laptop to my bed. I searched for our usual seats on the first level, behind one of the goals. I was thrilled that they were available.

My dad's credit card information was in the system from previous purchases. I ordered two tickets and double-checked our mailing address. They should be here in a few days. For the first time in a year, I was excited about something. I went to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in what seemed like forever.

2

Jake

I closed my locker and turned to find Claire looking at me expectantly. "Yes?" I asked, leaning back against my locker and crossing my arms.

"The fall formal is coming up," she said with a gleam in her eyes.

Oh, no. "It's a month away. That hardly counts as 'coming up,' " I told her. I wasn't planning on going, but it was right after our last game. If we won the championship, I knew the team would talk me into going as they did every year.

"Have you got a date?"

Claire was a nice girl, but that didn't mean I wanted to take her to the formal. I've had relationships before and, with the way things are at home, they had never worked. I've stayed away from them since.

"Not yet," I answered with a smile. The smile seemed to relax her. Good. If I had to take someone, it would probably be Claire. However, I wasn't going to ask her just yet. The warning bell rang. "Catch ya later," I said before I walked off.

Oddly enough, I loved being at school. It meant I wasn't at home with an alcoholic dad. Even though school bored me to death sometimes, it was better than being at home. School was the next best thing to being at the rink. There was nothing like the good, rough sport of hockey to make me feel better.

On the other hand, I liked being at home, but only because of my little brother. He was the light of my life and I loved hanging out with him.

The day passed like any other, hanging out with the boys at lunch and trying to focus on my classes. I had one class left to go before I picked up my little brother, Drake, and went to practice.

"Alright everyone. This is the last day to work in class on the project that I handed out yesterday. Go ahead and pair up. You have the whole period to work. You will need to complete this assignment outside of class. It's due next week."

I looked towards where Emily, the new girl, was sitting. She looked a little scared. She didn't look up when I dragged a desk in front of her. I had to admit, something about her intrigued me. Of course, I wondered what her story was. She was a beautiful girl with medium brown hair that was shoulder length. Her eyes were brown with little flecks of gold. Her nose was slender and led to pink, kissable lips.

Kissable? I shook my head and said hello. Emily didn't look at me as she mumbled a reply. She gathered her things together and placed them neatly on her desk. Same as yesterday, her leg started bouncing and, when she raised her head slightly, I could see her biting down on her bottom lip. She didn't have on any makeup and her eyelashes were long and pretty. I cleared my throat and thought she lowered herself into the seat some. Maybe I was just seeing things.

"Okay, so where did we leave off?" I asked. Quietly, she answered and pointed to the current question. "Do you always talk so quietly?" I asked.

Her head shot up and, for the first time, she looked into my eyes as if she was trying to find a hidden meaning behind my curious question. It was as if she realized that she was looking at me because she quickly looked back down. "Yes," she said. She began talking about our assignment, but I zoned out.

"Why?" I asked, interrupting her. Again, she looked up. Then it was gone, as if it never happened. She ignored me and continued where she left off.

An hour and twenty minutes later, I glanced up to see we had five minutes left. "How about we go ahead and stop for today?" I asked. Emily nodded and began to gather her things. "You know we have to finish it outside of school, right?" She seemed to freeze at my words. The expression on her face was one of total terror. Wanting to stay away from my dad, I offered to meet at the library or her house. While she thought about the options, I added that my little brother would be with me. Her features seemed to soften at the mention of him.

"My house would be better," she said. "That way he can watch TV so that he doesn't get bored."

With the decision made, I asked yet another question. "Do you always walk home?" She nodded. "I can take you home today. Then I'll know how to get to your house." She seemed on the verge of denying my offer. "I'm horrible with directions, even the simplest. It'll be easier for me," I said as my last attempt to get her to say yes.

I looked up at the clock. One minute left. Faintly I heard, "Okay."

"Okay, I'll meet you at your locker." She nodded and seemed to find something interesting on her desk. The bell rang loud and clear and she bolted out of the room. What was up with that girl?

I gathered my bag and headed to my locker. Claire was once again waiting. I tried my best not to let out a sigh. The girl just would not give up.

"Could you give me a ride home today, Jake?"

"Sorry, Claire. I already have an extra run to make. Todd probably could," I said making the offer for him. I knew he wouldn't mind.

Claire did not seem to like that answer. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. Look, Claire, I gotta go. Later," I told her as I walked towards where I saw Emily putting the lock on her locker. "Ready?" I asked.

She jumped at my voice. "Sorry," I muttered.

"I'm ready," she said quietly, putting her bag on her left shoulder. Automatically, I placed my hand on her lower back to guide her outside to my car. She flinched at my touch so I quickly removed my hand.

"Sorry," I offered once again.

Was she being abused? Was that why she was quiet and why she flinched from unexpected touches and jumped from sudden noises? I then noticed that she was wearing a white, short sleeved t-shirt and blue jean shorts. If she were being physically abused, she would cover up more to hide the bruises.

So what was going on with her? I pondered as we walked over to my '09 Mustang. I opened the door for her and she took her seat. I walked around and started the car. Silence filled the air as I headed in the direction I saw her walking towards yesterday.

"Turn left up here." I follow her instructions and soon arrived at her house.

"I can come over Friday after practice if you want to work on the project then," I said before she could escape. She nodded her head. In attempt to hear her voice I asked, "Is that a yes?"

She huffed and curtly said, "Yes."

I couldn't help but laugh. For the third time today, she had surprised me. She once again looked at me. This time, she was glaring, which only had me laughing harder. She swiftly opened the car door and got out, walking quickly up the doorsteps. I pulled out of her driveway and headed to the elementary school, which was only five minutes down the road.

The line was dwindling and I took my place. Slowly, I made my way up to the breezeway where, among other kids, Drake was waiting. He broke into a grin when he saw me. He ran to the car and hopped in.

"How was your day?"

"Awesome! A man, Kaleb, came in and brought in a snake! It was so cool! I even got to hold it! We all did. You should've been there, Jake!" It felt good to see Drake so excited about something. He'd had a hard time with Mom's death. Dad, of course, had taken it the worst.

"Well, your day definitely topped mine." His grin seemed to grow wider.

"I can't wait to tell the guys!" I laughed and roughed up his hair. "Hey! You are going to keep the ladies away if you mess up my hair!" He yelled.

I laughed, "You know there aren't any 'ladies' at the rink when we practice. Plus, if they found out you touched a snake, they wouldn't come near you." He seemed to be considering it while I drove back to the school.

Finally as I was parking, he spoke, "Well you better not tell any of them!" I laughed and assured him I wouldn't. Drake was only seven and he loved to make girls laugh. It didn't matter how old they are. If they were cute, he would flirt like crazy.

We headed inside to the rink and Drake ran into the locker room to tell the guys about the snake. I followed him and began to change for practice. I could hear him excitedly retelling the snake story to the guys, but this time the snake was much bigger than when he told me. I smiled at Drake, who was trying to impress the guys.

"Alright, Drake, we have to practice. Go find a seat." He obediently ran off.

We practiced relentlessly for two long, hard hours. I felt exhausted as I drove home. Knowing what was to come made me feel even more tired. Drake ran inside, probably to tell Dad about the snake. Maybe Dad would be in a good mood. Doubtful.

I made my way to the kitchen to start dinner. Dad always seemed fine around Drake. He seemed a little more cheerful and not so depressed. Maybe Drake would be his reason for moving on in life.

3

Emily

The time had arrived. It was game time and my dad could not be happier to see me out of the house. His enthusiasm showed at the arena. I think he was the loudest person there. I focused on the game, but I couldn't find it in myself to yell and cheer.

I stayed quiet the entire three periods plus the intermissions. I was probably the only person that was quiet. I smiled at the irony of my dad and I.

My dad caught my smile and gave me a huge hug. "I love you, honey. Thank you," he whispered in my ear. I hugged him back. It seemed like he was squeezing all of the breath out of me.

"Dad. I can't breathe."

He released me, smiled, and focused on what was happening. Naturally, I hoped so anyway, my eyes were drawn to Jake. He really pissed me off yesterday. He made me talk and then had the nerve to laugh at me. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow at all. I didn't want him anywhere near me.

I noticed a little boy sitting on the bench with the players, watching intently. He had the same black hair and face as Jake. That had to be his little brother. My eyes soon traveled back to the ice and followed Jake as he skated back and forth across the frozen surface. He made the winning goal with three seconds left in the final period. The crowd went wild. A smile rose and I clapped.

"That was a great game," my dad commented on the way home.

"Yep."

We stopped by McDonald's to grab a bite to eat. Of course, we had to go inside and eat. Once we were seated, my dad asked, "Any plans this weekend?"

I tried not to sigh. "Someone is coming over tomorrow."

"Oh yeah?" He was excessively pleased with this.

"Yes. We have to work on a project."

I glanced up when the door opened and saw Jake and his little brother. The boy was talking animatedly about something and Jake laughed.

"Hon?" I looked at my dad for a second and then glanced back down at my food.

"What?"

"Who is coming over?"

"Just some guy."

"Well, what's his name?"

"Jake. He was number 11 on the hockey team."

"Really? He's a great player. I'll be excited to meet him."

That caught me off guard. "Why would you need to meet him?" I asked quietly.

"I don't need to, but I'm going to."

"His little brother will be there too."

"Okay."

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Something bad was about to happen.

"Hey, Emily."

Speak of the devil. I glanced up and looked just to the right of Jake's head. I waved. My dad spoke up since I wouldn't.

"Hey, Jake, I'm Emily's dad. You can call me Mike." He held out his hand, which Jake promptly shook, and said hello. "Who might this be?" my dad asked turning his attention to his little brother.

"I'm Drake!"

"Nice to meet you, Drake."

"Hey, Drake," I said quietly. I wished they would leave. Why did he even have to say hey anyway?

My dad made it worst. "Would you guys like to sit with us?"

I glanced up at Jake and saw him contemplating me. He was probably trying to figure a way out of having to eat with the weird girl. Drake looked up at Jake and pleaded, "Can we please?" His eyes flickered over to me and then back to Jake who smiled and nodded. Drake scrambled over to sit beside me while my dad moved over so Jake could sit beside him.

"What's your name?" Drake asked, shoving fries into his mouth.

"Drake, one fry at a time and no talking with food in your mouth," Jake said in a fatherly tone.

"Sorry," Drake mumbled before turning back to me and asking again.

"Emily," I said. It was easier to look Drake in the eye than the others. He had such a sweet face and cute, slightly chubby cheeks.

"You're pretty, Emily."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Drake. How old are you?"

"Seven. But I'll be eight in two months!"

I was starting to relax. I laughed at Drake's expression. He was definitely excited about turning eight. "That's pretty cool."

"Can I tell you what I did in school today?"

"Sure."

Drake began to tell me how he got to hold a big snake. "Want to know a secret?" He whispered, covering the side of his mouth.

I leaned down and asked, "What?"

"I was scared at first. It was a big snake. But I knew Jake would think I was brave, so I held it."

I smiled down at him. "I wouldn't have the guts to hold a snake, big or small." The voice that came out didn't sound like me. I was talking in a normal tone instead of my usual quiet one. It scared me. I couldn't think about it long though, Drake was soon after my attention again.

I was taking a sip of my drink when Drake asked me a question. "Are you Jake's girlfriend?"

I choked on my Dr. Pepper and started coughing. I shook my head vehemently and tried to quit coughing. Drake patted me on the back and asked if I was okay. Soon the question echoed from Jake and my dad.

Finally, I quit. "I'm fine," I croaked.

With the choking over, Drake started to giggle. Jake and Dad had been caught up in their conversation because they did not know why Drake was laughing. "What's so funny, Drake?"

I nervously looked over at Drake, he was sure to tell Jake. Sure enough, he stopped giggling long enough to say, "She started choking when I asked her if she was your girlfriend." The look of surprise on Jake's face sent Drake into another fit of giggles. I shook my head and tried to be invisible. Soon everyone at the table was laughing, except me. I didn't think it was that funny. In fact, I didn't think it was funny at all.

"Well, Drake. We need to head home." Drake started to gather up his trash.

"We should get going too, honey," my dad said. I nodded and placed my trash on my dad´s tray.

"I'll take it," Jake offered. My dad said thanks and Jake took the trays, dumped out the trash, and then came back to get Drake.

"I'll see ya later, Emily. Nice to meet you, Mike." He shook hands with my dad and waved at me.

"Nice to meet you, Emily," Drake piped in, completely ignoring my dad.

I crouched down to come face to face with him. He held out his hand and I shook it. "It was nice to meet you too, Drake." He smiled, waving goodbye as they walked off.

I followed my dad out and went home. Thank goodness.

School flew by. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Fridays do that to people. Everyone seemed focused on his or her weekend plans. I was just ready for that last bell. I had driven to school today because I had a few errands to run after school before Jake and Drake came over.

Dad wanted me to stop by the grocery store and pick up various items. Plus, I wanted to make sure we had snacks and extra drinks. I also had to go by Wal-Mart and pick up some items for our project. Once we did the worksheets, we had to make a poster to present to the class. I was already praying that Jake would do all the talking. I could hold the poster... and hold it high enough to hide my face. Then I wouldn't have to look at anyone and no one could see me. It sounded like the perfect plan to me.

The bell rang and I made my quick getaway. After stopping by my locker, I headed for my car, a Ford Focus.

"Hey, Emily," someone called out behind me as I threw my bag into the car. I turned to see Jake whose car was parked three spots down.

"If you have a car, then why do you walk?"

"I like walking," I said, shrugging. Without a second thought, I got in my car and drove off.

I hated going to the store. More often than not, the cashiers were friendly and smiling. They would try to make conversation. I couldn't do that. I kept thinking that someone would lash out at me and start fussing because I was holding up the line with friendly conversation.

Therefore, I kept quiet and looked down, watching the items as they were scanned. I handed over the money and mumbled thanks as I took off. Happy that I had everything I needed, I headed home.

4

Jake

I parked on the curb at Emily's house. "Drake," I began.

"I know. I know! Behave," he interrupted.

I smiled. We got out of the car and made our way to the front door. Drake had been as excited as ever about today. I had to admit, I was a little excited too. I had never seen Emily as relaxed as she seemed last night talking to Drake, well, up until she almost choked. Nevertheless, I was looking forward to seeing her relaxed again. I wanted to see her smile again too. She had a beautiful smile. Drake knocked on the door, anxious to see Emily.

She opened the door, quickly glanced at me, and then down to Drake. She smiled and said, "Hey, Drake! How are you today?" Her voice was clear and not at all quiet. She was completely different around Drake.

Drake bubbled over at the attention. "I'm great!"

"Well, come on in."

We walked into the house and Emily led us into the kitchen. Their house definitely felt homey. Pictures of Emily were everywhere. Sometimes she was by herself, cracking up over something funny. Sometimes, she was with her dad, grinning or laughing. There were a few of her with friends.

She looked nothing like the reserved girl she was now. In the pictures, she looked loud and outgoing. What happened to make her like she was now?

"Jake," I heard, ever so softly.

I turned to look at Emily, realizing I had stopped walking and was looking at the pictures. "I was just looking," I said like an idiot. Of course, I was looking. She walked over to where I was and looked at the picture that currently was holding my attention. It looked as if it was taken maybe two years ago.

She and three other girls were jumping off a walkway into a lake. They were all smiling and doing a pose in the air for the camera. Emily looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"That's one of my favorites," she whispered.

"You look so happy and carefree," I said just as quietly.

"I was." With that, she walked away into the kitchen.

I followed her and saw Drake drinking milk and eating cookies. Drake looked up at me and smiled. "She made me cookies!" I glanced at Emily.

She shrugged and said, "I like those better." I sat down at the table. "Would you like something to drink?" Emily asked as she opened the fridge. Her quiet voice carried over to me.

"Whatcha got?"She named a few sodas and I settled on Pepsi. She fixed a glass of Pepsi and a glass of Dr. Pepper before she sat down. "Thanks," I said, taking my glass. She nodded then turned her attention to Drake as he began talking to her.

"You'll never believe what happened today! The guy who brought the snake... You remember that, right?" Emily nodded. "Well, he came back today and brought different lizards and a baby alligator! Everyone got to hold all the animals. It was so cool!"

"It seems like you go to a dangerous school," Emily commented.

Drake laughed and continued in detail about the way the lizards and gator felt. Emily looked grossed out. I tried to hold in a chuckle, but to no avail. Emily looked over at me and then back at Drake.

Emily shook her head as Drake said he wanted one of the lizards as a pet. Her hair fell into her eyes and she quickly pushed it behind her ear. "You sure are a brave young man, Drake," she said, causing Drake to grin wildly.

Drake looked at me and said, "Did you hear that, Jake? I'm a man."

I laughed and said, "A young man."

That didn't faze Drake at all. "A man is a man, Jake."

Emily started laughing and said, "It's true."

Drake beamed at the affirmation. "We should get started on our project," Emily said, taking the smile off Drake's face. "Don't worry, Drake. We have plenty of channels on TV for you to watch. Come on, I'll show you."

Drake followed Emily out of the room and into the living room. I could hear Emily showing him the cartoon channels and Drake's enthusiasm about one of the shows. A few minutes later, she returned with her hands full of papers, a poster and glue.

"You want to finish it all today? Trying to get rid of me?"

Emily's cheeks turned scarlet as she set everything down on the table. "I don't like waiting until the last minute," she said quietly.

"Why are you quiet now? You don't talk like that with Drake. You look him in the eye too," I asked, hoping I wasn't overstepping some unseen boundary.

She bit her lip and I wondered if she knew she did that. She plopped into her seat and said, "It's easier." She left it at that while I gathered my papers from my bag. "Why do you keep asking me questions?"

I looked up and asked myself the same question: Why did I keep asking her questions? Why did I want to know the answer? "Curious, I guess."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

What? Was she trying to say that I didn't want to know the answers? Was she saying that it was bad enough to kill? What was she trying to say? Before I could ask, she changed the subject over to our project.

We had been working for about an hour when Mike came in. He kissed the top of Emily's head and said hello. Emily got up abruptly and went to check on Drake. Did her behavior have something to do with her dad? Had he done something to her? He seemed too nice and down to earth. I didn't think that was it.

"How's the project goin'?"

"Pretty good. Making a lot of progress. I think Emily is ready to get rid of me and Drake."

Mike chuckled. "She probably wants to get rid of you more than Drake."

I had a feeling that he was right. I wanted to ask why but I didn't think he would tell me. I looked into the living room and saw Emily sitting with Drake, watching TV. The question that had been on my mind since being paired up with Emily was what happened to her. The possibilities that came to mind were not ones that would sit well with anyone.

I watched her laugh at something Drake said. "We should probably get back to work," I stated, not knowing what else to say.

I had a crazy urge to see her as I saw her in the pictures, like I saw her with Drake. However, would it ever happen? What would bring her out of her shell?

I stood and made my way into the living room. I rested my arms on the back of the couch in-between Emily and Drake. "I thought we were working?" Emily jumped and I immediately regretted sneaking up on them. Drake glared at me and patted Emily's hand.

She smiled at him and said, "You can hang out with my dad while we work." Mike walked in and sat in the recliner. Emily got up and walked into the kitchen while Mike started talking to Drake who jumped into his story about the alligator and lizards.

I followed Emily and sat down. "Sorry about scaring you."

She shrugged and went to fix herself another glass of Dr. Pepper. "Want anything?" she asked over her shoulder.

"I'm fine."

She sat down and we went back to work.

An hour later, we had finished our project. I leaned back tired of working and said, "I think this is the first time I've done a project before the due date. I'm a last minute kind of guy." I saw her smile faintly and I leaned forward. I wanted her to look at me. "Is that a smile I see?"

The smile faded and she peeked up at me before looking away from me into the living room. "I'm going to miss hanging out with Drake," she whispered.

"I usually take him with me to practice. You could watch him, if you'd like," I offered. Deep down, a voice told me that this would give me an excuse to see her.

She smiled, "I would like that. I could pick him up from school too."

"That will be fine. Drake will be ecstatic. You can leave after school and go straight to his school. If something holds you back a few minutes, it'll be fine too. There's always a line." I glanced down at my watch. We would need to get home soon. We exchanged numbers in case I needed to get up with her or vice versa. Drake rushed into the kitchen and asked for more cookies. "You haven't eaten dinner yet. You don't need any more cookies," I responded.

Mike followed Drake inside. He asked if we would like to stay for dinner and, as I declined, I saw Emily sneak Drake a cookie. I couldn't help but smile. I made small talk with Mike until Drake finished his cookie.

"Alright, Drake, we need to get home."

We said our goodbyes and headed home.

Dad was in the recliner, as always, watching TV and drinking. I went to the kitchen and microwaved left over pizza for dinner before going upstairs and checking on Drake who had gone straight to his room. I handed him his plate and we ate on his bed in silence. Once finished, I took our plates and told him to go brush his teeth. I went downstairs and washed our plates.

I found Drake in bed. I tucked him in and went to kiss his forehead, but he stopped me. "I'm a man, remember? I don't need a kiss goodnight."

I smiled and agreed. I left his room and went to shower. Hopefully, I could unwind. Every time I closed my eyes, Emily's smile popped up.

5

Emily

I woke up Saturday morning with the urge to move. I changed into some running clothes and took off. These runs happened every so often. I didn't have a route. I just ran wherever. If I felt the desire to turn, I would. Otherwise, I ran straight.

I slowed to a stop. I was starting to get out of breath and my leg felt like it was going to cramp.

"Emily?" I looked across the street to see Jake sitting on the steps of a porch. I waved and looked back down at my shoes, still taking deep breaths, which were becoming more even.

I could hear a creak as Jake stood and then the soft steps of his feet on the grass. He crossed the street at a jog and stood in front of me. He was wearing a white tank top and basketball shorts. I looked up to see his collarbone. How had I forgotten how tall he was? "Hey, Jake," I mumbled, deciding to take a glance. His gaze bore down on me. I redirected my gaze to his lips. Big mistake. I decided to return my gaze to his collarbone.

"What are you doing out and about so early?"

"Running."

"Quite a ways to run. Are you sure you weren't stalking me?"

Heat rushed to my cheeks as I heard the smile in his voice. "N-No. I-I wasn't."

He laughed his hearty laugh, "I was just messing, Emily. Lighten up."

"I should go," I said, trying to step around him. His hand caught my arm.

"Wait."

I bit my lip and took another leap. I glanced up. "What?"

He smiled. "I have to do some things today. Could you watch Drake for me?"

The mention of the little boy brought a smile to my face. "Of course."

"Thanks!" Jake leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I'll bring him over around lunch. Later, Emily."

He jogged back across the street, leaving me in a state of shock. I closed my mouth upon realizing it was open. I shook my head and continued my jog.

Two hours later, I returned home. I took a quick shower and went back into the kitchen where my dad was waiting. "I do wish you would leave a note when you go off on your runs."

"Sorry." I took out a bowl and started to fix cereal. My dad was reading the paper and eating cereal as well. I liked Cinnamon Toast Crunch, while he was a lover of Cheerios. I ate my breakfast quietly. The only sounds in the house were the occasional turning of a page, the clinking of a spoon against a glass bowl, and the crunch of cereal. Did he really kiss me?

"Something wrong with your cheek, honey?" I glanced up and he nodded to my fingers that were trailing down my cheek. I shook my head. "Okay, well I'll get the dishes today, honey." I nodded and handed him my bowl.

Oh! "Dad, I ran into Jake on my run."

"Oh really?"

I nodded. "He asked me to watch Drake today." I smiled and continued, "He should be over around lunch time. Are you doing anything today?"

"Actually, I was going to go make one last fishing trip with Dan." Dan was Dad's best friend. They went fishing all the time.

"Have fun."

"Thanks, hon."

I stood up and went to the living room. I was excited about today. I actually had plans. Me, with plans. Sure, they were with a seven year old, but they were plans. Dad had to think that was progress, right? Two hours until Drake would be here.

What would I do for two hours? I turned on the TV and found a re-showing of one of the games played that week. Detroit was playing the New York Rangers. Soon, I was captured in hockey and my dad had left already. Detroit was up by two and it was the final period with less than five minutes to go.

A knock on the door called my attention. Drake! I had almost forgotten about him. I got up and opened the door to see Drake who looked like he was full of excitement. "Hey, Drake! Ready to have some fun today?"

"Absolutely! What are we going to do?"

"Emily will tell you all about that. Go find something on TV so I can talk to Emily real quick," Jake cut in. I stepped aside as Drake ran into the living room and Jake stepped in behind him. "I won't be here long. I just wanted to tell you that he's hyper today. I shouldn't be gone too long."

"It's fine. Take your time."

Jake nodded. "Thanks again, Emily," he said, turning to open the door.

He was halfway out when I surprised myself again. "Hey Jake?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

"After you do whatever it is you have to do, go do something for yourself. I can handle Drake and you look like you could use a break." I took a deep breath and saw him smile.

"Thanks, Emily."

Then he was gone. I went into the living room and sat down beside Drake who was watching Phineas and Ferb. "This is one of my favorite shows," I confided.

Drake grinned and asked, "Where is Mr. Mike?"

"He went fishing. It's just you and me today. What do you want to do?"

Drake seemed to be in deep thought. Then it was like a light had gone off in his head and he broke out in a stunning smile. "Well, there is a new movie out that I really want to go see and Jake won't take me."

"He won't? What movie?"

"Cars 2. Please Emily, can we go? Please!"

I laughed. "Of course we can. I loved Cars, especially Mater. Let me run and get my wallet and we'll go." I ran down the hall to my room, bounced across the bed and retrieved my wallet along with my keys from my nightstand drawer. "Alright, Drake, let's go."

6

Jake

My errands weren't really errands. I needed to clean the house and it was always harder when Drake was there. I returned home and dad was already drunk. When I started cleaning, of course I made noise. That just pissed dad off.

"I wish you would quit making so much damn noise! Your mother never made any noise when she cleaned." The mumbling continued while I worked my way around the house ignoring him.

Two hours later, the house was clean from top to bottom. I was exhausted, but I dragged myself upstairs to shower. I would need to run by the grocery store sometime today too. Somewhat refreshed, I headed out after taking the card from my dad's wallet on the kitchen counter.

Maybe I would take Emily's suggestion and do something for myself. She didn't seem to mind watching Drake. She actually seemed happier to see him than me. I sighed. I wanted so much to feel her touch again or see her looking at me. I practically drowned in her brown eyes this morning. What was it about her anyway?

I shook my head as I made my way down the aisles, picking up things here and there. Once I had a bunch of frozen foods that would easily go into the microwave and some meat for us to have a real dinner a few nights of the week, I went to check out.

After dropping the groceries off at home, I did as Emily suggested. I was going to take some time for me. I did it in the only way I knew how. I grabbed my skates and took off for the rink.

As expected, it was empty. Coach always left the doors unlocked in case any of us wanted to come in. I slipped on my skates and began running up and down the ice, occasionally doing a few suicides. I loved the cool sting of the air and the sound of the ice as my blades cut in it. For me, there was nothing like skating around as fast as I could. Once I was exhausted, I went to the locker room and took a quick shower. Then I changed into some clean clothes that I had in my locker.

Outside I was met with darkness. How long was I in there? I had better get over to Emily's. Drake could be worried. I was supposed to go back and get him after a few hours. A few minutes later, I parked on the curb and went up to the door, knocking three times.

Inside the lights were off. Where were they? I took out my cell just as someone pulled up and parked in the garage. I made my way over to see Emily and a laughing Drake getting out of her car. Drake ran over and I picked him up. "What's up, man?"

"Today has been the best day ever! We went to see Cars 2 and then we went to McDonald's. No one was in the play room and I wanted to play and guess what?"

"What?"

"Emily went into the play house with me! We played for an hour." Drake leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I've never seen someone laugh so much."

I smiled and followed Emily into the side door that opened into the kitchen. "I'm glad you guys had fun."

"I'm not finished, Jake!"

"Well finish. I'm listening." We settled down on the couch and Drake continued his story. I noticed a big bag sitting in front of Emily.

"Then we went to Cold Stone and got ice cream. It was so good, Jake! After that, we went to Toys-R-Us! And guess what? Emily let me get some toys!"

Drake hopped off the couch and started taking out various toys, exclaiming over each one. I looked over at Emily who was smiling at Drake's excitement. "You shouldn't have."

Drake lost his smile and looked at me with sad eyes. Three words and he was upset. "I can keep them, right Jake?"

"Of course you can," Emily said. Just like that, Drake's smile was back and he began to take the toys out of their boxes. There was a remote control car, two or three action figures and a video game in there too. It made me uneasy to see the money she spent on Drake today.

"Emily, can I have some Pepsi?" Drake asked.

"Of course," Emily went to stand up.

"Actually, Drake, we probably need to head home," I cut in. Emily sat back down looking deflated.

"Aw. Not yet, Jake. Please! Emily said we could play," Drake pleaded.

Emily's soft, reserved voice was back. "We can always play Monday after school, Drake. If your brother says it's time to go, then you had better listen to him." Drake glared at me and got up to hug Emily goodbye. "How about you leave the remote car here until Monday so I can make sure everything is ready?" Emily suggested. He nodded and started putting everything back but the car. Seeing the sad look on Emily's face and the same expression on Drake's, I felt horrible.

"Honey! I'm back," Mike's voice boomed into the house. He walked into the living room. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"Just picking Drake up," I said once it was apparent that Emily and Drake wouldn't say anything. I did not know if that was expected with Emily or not. I knew that if Drake was mad, he wasn't going to talk to me.

Seeing that the toys were up, I stood. "C'mon, Drake. See you later, Mike. Thanks again, Emily." She nodded and Mike waved. Drake sullenly followed me and we headed home. I tried repeatedly to talk to Drake, but I received the cold shoulder each time.

Once home, I found dad already asleep. Thank goodness. Drake ran up the stairs to his room and shut the door. I sighed and went to fix myself something to eat. A ham and cheese sandwich with some chips would have to do for tonight. I didn't feel like fixing anything requiring more effort.

I took in the silence of the house and ate quickly. Upstairs, I checked on Drake. He ignored me, of course. I went to my room, flopped on my bed, and tried to watch TV. I couldn't focus and I was exhausted. Soon, I was sleeping.

"Jake!"

I rolled over, but Drake kept yelling. "What?" I asked.

"Can we go to Emily's today?"

I groaned. "Drake, you spent all day with her yesterday," I pointed out. It was no use. He had made up his mind as to what he wanted to do.

"Please! I want to play with my car! Please, please, PLEASE!"

I rolled over to face him. He already looked as excited as if I said yes. "Drake, she probably doesn't want to spend her Sunday with a little kid hanging around."

His face fell. "She likes to hang out with me more than she likes to hang out with you," he yelled, running out of the room. What was it with him and her? Maybe I just didn't like that she would rather hang out with Drake than me. I tried to ignore that thought.

My phone buzzed on my nightstand and I grabbed it. "Hello," I answered, without looking at who was calling. I immediately regretted it.

"Hey, Jake. It's Claire."

"Hey, Claire."

"Anna, Josh, and I are going to the movies today. I was wondering if you wanted to come with."

Immediately I thought of Drake. I couldn't leave him here with my dad. I didn't want to leave him with Emily either. I really didn't want to go with Claire. I would probably hear it from Josh if I didn't go.

"What are you guys seeing?" She named some horror movie. "I don't know, Claire. I've got Drake."

"Can't he go to a friend's?"

Emily's face popped up again. I shook my head. I would have to give in to someone. It was either Drake or Claire, or both. I could spend the day with Drake and Emily...or with Claire.

"Sorry, Claire. I just remembered I promised to spend the day with Drake. You know, just us brothers." She sighed and quickly said goodbye. I took a deep breath and called Emily, flopping back onto my pillow.

Her quiet voice answered on the second ring. "Hey, Jake."

"Hey, Emily, what are you up today?"

"Nothing much."

"I hate to ask you this, but Drake has been giving me the cold shoulder since I picked him up. Do you want to hang out with us today?" She was silent on the other end. I checked my phone to make sure I was still connected. Yep, I was.

Finally, her sweet voice replied. "Sure. That's fine, but Jake...I know I'm not the most fun person you could hang out with. You can just drop Drake off and do something you want to do. I don't want you to just hang around because of Drake."

"So basically, if I don't want to hang out with you, then I shouldn't?" Once again, she was quiet for a minute before she answered.

"Yes."

Without knowing how she would react, I decided to say, "Look, Emily, if I didn't want to be there, trust me I wouldn't be. What makes you think that I wouldn't want to hang out with you? Drake obviously loves you and I don't see anything wrong with you. So, tell me, why do you think I wouldn't want to hang out with you?"

This time she was quiet for a full three minutes before she replied. She took a deep breath and in a shaky voice, barely a whisper, she said, "No one else wants to."

If I were standing right beside her, I probably would have heard her heart breaking. It would have sounded like the cracking of a wooden bat connecting with a baseball. No, that was too clean of a break. It would have sounded like rain from a powerful thunderstorm pounding on a tin roof. Millions of drops relentlessly pounding away on the surface until it shattered into billions of tiny pieces. Pieces Emily couldn't put back together by herself.

Right then, hearing the tears that had to be falling from her beautiful brown eyes, I wanted nothing more than to take each piece and put it back together again until she was whole. I had to do it. I had to for her and for me. Maybe if Emily can be restored and healed, then maybe, just maybe, so could I.

Even though I tried my hardest not to think of the way my dad felt about me, sometimes I just couldn't help myself. Yes, he was angry that my mom died. I was angry too. I knew my dad blamed me because I didn't come home in time to save her. I didn't come home in time to call 911 and get her to the hospital and there was a chance she could've lived a little longer. Nevertheless, I wanted to hang out after practice with the guys and my mom died because of it.

"Jake?" Emily's sweet, timid voice brought me back to the conversation.

"I'm here, Emily."

"When will Drake be here?"

"We will be there in an hour. He really wants to play with his car. I thought that we could go to the park and he could play with it there before it gets too cold to go."

"Ok."

"Ok. I'll pick you up."

With that, I hauled myself out of bed and across the hall to Drake's room and told him to get ready. I showered, dressed, and was finishing the final touches when Drake stuck his head into my room. I walked out of the adjoining bathroom and he rushed over to hug me tightly.

"Thanks."

"For what," I asked, returning the hug.

"For taking me to Emily's," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which I guess it was. One point for Drake.

I picked him up and saw that he was beaming. "You really like her, huh?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "She's really fun, Jake. More fun than you even."

With a skeptical face, I asked, "Oh, really?"

Another nod. He leaned in close, as if he were sharing a secret, and whispered, "Plus she's really pretty, don't you think?"

He was looking at me as if the survival of humankind depended on my answer. "That she is, Drake. That she is."

He grinned. "Well, let's go!"

7

Emily

On the way to the park, my mother's voice was pounding in my head.

"You will never be good enough for anyone."

"You are a disgrace to this family."

"Your father left me, me a wonderful woman, because you are nothing but an attention seeking brat."

"I don't know how your friends can even stand to be around you! You want all the attention for yourself. You aren't the brightest crayon in the box and you aren't even close to being pretty. I don't know how your father and I could even produce such an ugly girl."

"Let's not forget about that voice. I bet it is just music to your ears, isn't it? Well, to me and to everyone else, it sounds like a nail running down a chalkboard. I can't even stand the sound of your voice anymore."

"You disgust me!"

"You are the lowest of the low. You are worse than the feared Untouchables in some country out east. You aren't even worth my breath because you are so pathetic."

"And so worthless! You couldn't do a damn thing if your life depended on it."

My mother whom I loved so much, my mother whom I practically worshipped, my mother whom I still missed. Maybe it's best my father came that day and took me away. Now I wouldn't be such a leech in her presence. Now she couldn't pimp me out to her "boyfriends".

But what about my father? What about Jake and Drake? What about everyone? Surely, if my mother, the person who loved me unconditionally, saw me this way and would treat me this way, then so would everyone else. My mother wouldn't lie to me. What she had said had to be true. Otherwise, why was I friendless? Why wasn't I living with her, if I wasn't such a horrible daughter and person? Why would she sell my body for drugs and booze?

Which leads me to this: why am I sitting in a car with Jake Benson? Does he have some secret motive? Does he think I'm not capable of watching Drake? He can't actually like me, can he? I mean, if my own mother doesn't like me, how can he?

My inner conversation came to a halt when Jake's black Mustang pulled to a stop at the empty park. We got out and made our way over to the basketball court so that Drake's car could run on a smooth surface.

Seeing Drake bubbling with excitement brought a smile to my face. If he liked me, perhaps I wasn't so horrible and disgusting. There was no time to dwell on the matter. Drake placed his car on the cement and started driving it around. I leaned against the rusty pole holding up the goal and watched. "Did you see that, Emily? It was on two wheels!"

"I sure did. That was really cool, Drake." I tried to sound excited, but I just couldn't. My mind was too flustered. Drake didn't seem to notice though. I tried to ignore the tall, handsome Jake standing beside me, watching Drake.

His hands were tucked into his pockets and he was quiet. Unusual, if you thought about it. He was always talking, always asking questions that I didn't want to answer. The wind blew causing a clinking noise to float over my ears. I looked to the side of the courts a little ways, and saw a swing set.

That's what I needed. I needed movement. I started to walk across the court, narrowly missing getting my foot ran over by Drake who was laughing hysterically, and sat down in one of two swings. To my dismay, Jake followed. I began to motion myself back and forth, swaying. I took my arms around the back of the chains to the front, which allowed me to stuff my hands in my jacket pockets locking myself into place.

"Something wrong, Emily?" Jake's deep voice asked.

I shook my head, hoping that would settle the issue. However, I should have known. Jake wouldn't be satisfied until I started talking. He reached over and grabbed one of the chains, holding my swing and pulling me towards him.

Once I was close enough, he tugged the other chain to make me face him. My legs knocked into his as he did this. I looked down at our knees. I could feel the heat radiating from his legs to mine. "Look at me."

I couldn't do it. I was scared of what I might see when I did. That one thing kept me from looking people in the eye. I didn't want to see their disgust and hate for me. I couldn't stand to see one more person look at me the way my mother did. I wouldn't look. I wouldn't.

Jake wrapped his legs around mine to hold me in place and let go of one of the chains. He curled his fingers under my chin and lifted so I would have to look at him. No! I didn't want to look. I closed my eyes before I could see his.

I heard him sigh. "Emily, c'mon and open your eyes." I didn't budge. His voice was softer when he spoke again. "C'mon, Emily. Just open them. What are you so afraid of?" The heat from his legs and his hand was getting to me because, before I could stop myself, I told him the truth.

"Seeing the hatred and disgust."

"Jake! Emily! Did you guys just see that?" Drake's happy voice squealed. Jake slowly let go of me and, when I opened my eyes, I saw he was making his way over to Drake.

The soft breeze carried his voice over to where I was. "No, buddy. Do it again so I can see." Drake, not seeing or caring that I wasn't there, repeated the trick.

What the hell was that? Did I really just say that? I closed my eyes and leaned back. From my knees to my head, I was lying flat, while my legs dangled. With my eyes still closed, I just let the breeze move the swing for me. Jake stayed on the court with Drake, while he showed him all the flips and crashes he could do.

Great. Just great. I had just told a complete stranger my innermost secret. What was wrong with me? Well, besides the obvious. After this, I wasn't going to be within two hundred feet of Jake if I could help it. Would he go back to school and tell everyone that I was a freak and dumb and what not?

I shoved the thoughts out of my mind. My arms ached and I had to sit up. I was lightheaded for a moment and then it was gone. Drake was running full speed to the empty swing. "Jake, come push me!" Jake obeyed and soon Drake's attitude rubbed off on me. I was pumping my legs and swinging, enjoying the sound of Drake's laughter.

"All right, little boy. You can do it yourself for a while. My arms are tired," Jake said.

Drake tried to turn around in his swing to see Jake, but failed in the attempt. "'Little boy!' I'm not a boy! I'm a man! Tell him Emily!"

The determination on Drake's face was clear and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's right, Jake. Drake is a man, not a boy."

Jake laughed, "If you say so."

A triumphant expression overtook Drake's face as he said, "Told ya! I'm a man, not some little boy." The tension between Jake and me seemed to disappear with Drake around.

We had been swinging for about half an hour when Drake skidded to a stop. "I'm hungry."

"What do you want to eat?" I asked.

Drake pondered in thought, but Jake was the one who answered. "I could really go for some Chick-Fil-A."

"That's all the way in Wilmington, a forty-five minute drive, if you go the speed limit," I pointed out.

Jake smirked at me and said, "I don't mind. Do you Drake?"

"For Chick-Fil-A? Of course not! Let's go!"

"We're just waiting for Emily to decide if she wants to go with us." Jake was giving me a look that seemed to say, I dare you to say no to this kid. I took one look at Drake's expectant face and knew the two brothers had made my decision. I stood up.

"Well, let's go if we're going."

On the drive there, Drake talked the whole time, literally. Neither of us could get a word in. He talked about anything and everything.

We were a few minutes away from the restaurant and Drake had been quiet for a few minutes. "Emily, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Drake."

"Where's your mom?"

The question stole my breath. It was out of left field. Of course, Drake would want to know where she was. He had only seen my dad around. "Um...she's..." I tried, but I couldn't think. I needed to think of something fast. "She doesn't live around here anymore."

"How come? Doesn't she want to see you, Emily?"

I found the words coming as if from nowhere. "You see, Drake, my mom and dad are divorced. So, my mom moved away when she got her new job. We weren't really close, so I stayed with my dad."

I really hoped that would make the questions stop. "Oh," was the only reply.

Jake tried to brighten the mood when we parked. He told Drake that he could go and play after he ate, which definitely brought a smile back to his face.

Inside we ordered and made our way over to a booth by the glass, so we could look in once Drake went to play. I don't know if I was glad that I would be alone with Jake or not. What I did know was that I didn't want Drake asking me questions about my mom.

I ate without talking. I let Jake and Drake do all of that. It was cute seeing the brothers together and enjoying themselves. Drake finished his meal quickly and ran off to play. For the first few minutes, our eyes followed him around.

Then Jake spoke. "Where is your mom?"

"That's none of your business." I tried to speak curtly, but instead I sounded fragile.

"Okay."

Okay? That was it? Are you telling me that Jake Benson just gave up on making me talk? Maybe I should mark this on my calendar.

We were sitting in silence when three people came up to our table. I recognized the short blonde one as the girl who was by Jake's locker the other day, but the other two were lost on me.

She spoke and again my gaze went down. "I thought today was a day for just you and Drake. You know, just brothers." By her voice, I could tell she was mad.

All Jake said was, "It is."

"Then what's she doing here?"

Oh, how I wished I could leave. Why did I ride with him? I knew that if I looked up, I would see what I feared most in the blonde girl's eyes.

The guy that was with the girls spoke up before Jake could. "Yeah, man, if you didn't want to come, you should have just said so. You didn't have to lie."

"I didn't." But he was. "Claire, Emily is here because I wanted her to be."

"Oh, get real Jake. You have one class project with her and now you are hanging out with her? Really? You shouldn't hang out with people just because you feel sorry for them."

"I don't feel sorry for her. I like hanging out with her, so I am."

"You like hanging out with her? Please. She can't make eye contact, much less talk."

Just then, Drake came running out of the playhouse room and found his way into my lap, ignoring our surprise guests. "Emily, this one is more fun than McDonald's! It's empty too. Will you play with me?"

His eyes were pleading with me. I couldn't have said no even if I wanted to, which I didn't. This was the perfect escape. To my surprise, my voice came out as it always did when I talked to Drake, clear and confident. "Of course. Lead the way," I said as he hopped down and I slipped my hand in his.

We passed by the evil Claire and her friends. I didn't even look back. I couldn't. Instead, I slipped off my shoes and made my way into the playhouse.

I chased Drake in and out of the crooks and crannies, tickling him when I caught him. After about thirty minutes, I heard Jake's voice booming up one of the slides. "Alright you two, let's go." Drake was satisfied with his playing time and slid down the red slide. Tired, I followed right behind him.

Careful to avoid looking at any part of Jake, I slipped on my shoes and we left. The ride home was to the sound of only the radio. Jake liked to listen to rock and other popular songs in different genres. Forty-five long minutes later, I was home.

It wasn't but about 4 o'clock and Drake wanted to show my dad the car. I didn't mind, but I was tired from all the conversations from today. Regardless, I told them to stay awhile. I planned to be quiet.

Jake stopped me just inches from my front door. "Emily, can I talk to you for a second?"

I turned around and leaned against the brick of the house. Crossing my arms, I suddenly found my shoes interesting. "I feel like I've talked all day long. I'm tired of talking."

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry about earlier, with Claire. She didn't know what she was talking about. She was mainly just jealous."

That caught my attention. I was confused. "Jealous? Of what?"

Jake's sneakers came into my line of vision. He curled his fingers around my chin and lifted. Why must he keep doing that? I glared straight into his pretty green eyes. "Not 'of what'. Of whom. She is jealous of you Emily."

What? That didn't make any sense and I told Jake so.

He smiled a crooked grin that made my insides melt and said, "It makes perfect sense. She is jealous that I would rather spend time with you than her. She called this morning, before I called you, and wanted me to go with her to the movies. I didn't want to and Drake was upset that I said he couldn't come here. Therefore, I called you. A solution that made everyone happy...well, besides Claire."

I tried to back further into the wall, but it was no use. My confident voice from earlier was gone and, with it, any desire that I had had to be around Jake. "So you were hanging out with me so you didn't have to hang around Claire." There. I said it. I thought I would feel better about it. Finally getting the truth about Jake and his presence out should have made me feel better, but it didn't.

For some wild reason that I could not even begin to understand, I had been hoping that finally someone besides a seven year old would want to be around me. I wanted that someone to be Jake, but clearly I was mistaken. Stepping to the side and out of Jake's grip, I went inside without giving him the chance to say anything.

Drake and my dad were in the living room playing with Drake's car. They were very oblivious to me, so I went straight to my room and shut the door. I heard greetings exchanged between Jake and my dad. I didn't listen long. Instead, I got my iPod from my bag and crawled into bed. I listened to "Monster", thinking that that song seemed to describe me.

8

Jake

Damn it! How in the hell did she manage to get a very different message than what I had been trying to say? First, I was pissed at Claire and at how she behaved around Emily. Now, Emily thought I was just using her to stay away from Claire. I had to fix this.

Leaving the distracted Drake and Mike, I walked down the hallway, ignoring the pictures this time, and straight to the doorway into which I had seen Emily disappear. I knocked three times. No answer. I was going to talk to her whether she liked it or not. Probably a 'not'. I knocked three more times with the same result.

I cracked open the door and called her name. She didn't answer, but I saw her lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. Her room didn't look anything like mine. Where mine was full of electronics and had clothes everywhere, Emily's room had a bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. My walls had a few posters and pictures of my mom; hers had nothing but white paint.

The size of her room didn't help at all with how empty it looked. I closed the door behind me, but Emily still didn't acknowledge me. Walking closer, I could hear the familiar sounds of the song she was playing in class the day I first talked to her.

Finally, I came into Emily's line of vision when I stood beside the bed. She glanced at me and then went back to staring at the ceiling. Good to know which she preferred. She was lying in the middle of the bed, leaving plenty of room on each side.

I took a seat, leaning my back against the headboard, and reached down slowly to pull out one of her earphones. I didn't know what happened to her, but I knew I needed to proceed with caution. The music became clear, but I didn't recognize the song because the lyrics weren't clear enough for me to hear. Emily didn't even take her eyes off the ceiling for a second. "What song is that?"

Without hesitation, her quiet voice spoke. "Monster."

All of my anger washed away with that one word. This time, my voice was soft. "You don't really think that you are a monster, do you?"

She flicked her eyes over at me. Her eyes instantly watered and a tear escaped.

"Aw, Sweetness, come here," I whispered as I pulled her up to hold her. Her tears flowed easily, quickly soaking part of my shirt. "I don't know what happened to you, but you are a good person, Emily. You have a huge heart and you are caring, thoughtful, hardworking, and loving. Drake thinks you are so fun. Do you want to talk about what happened to you?" I glided my hand up and down her back to soothe her. She shook her head. "Okay, that's fine."

After about thirty minutes, Emily had quit crying. She was clutching to me for dear life. "I don't know if I can do it," she whispered into my chest.

"Do what?"

"Trust. Believe. Let go."

"You have me, Drake, and your dad to help you."

"Why?"

"Because we know that you are worth it." God, I hoped she believed every word, because she was worth it.

"Ok."

"Ok." We sat there in silence for five minutes before I spoke again. "And, Emily, I didn't spend the day with you just to get away from Claire. I spent the day with you because I really wanted to be a part of the person you are when you are with Drake."

She didn't say anything, but she did slightly squeeze me tighter. We sat there like that until she fell asleep.

Three hours later, my whole body was tingling and I was dying to move. Mike opened the door and said, "Supper is ready." I nodded and he was gone again.

Lightly, I shook Emily and called her name. She mumbled something incoherent, but she sat up and rubbed her eyes. "It's time to eat."

"We just ate."

I laughed, took her hand and led her to the door. "That was hours ago." Suddenly she stopped walking. I turned to see why. She seemed unsure of herself and of what she wanted to say. "Emily?" She glanced up at me. "Everything will be okay." She nodded.

I turned to walk out, but stopped myself short and turned back to her. "Will you please try to make eye contact?" Pausing and deciding to take a chance, I told her that I really liked her eyes. She gave a small smile and, satisfied, I led her into the kitchen.

The aroma of steak and baked potatoes filled the house. Drake gave me a confused look, and then decided not to ask. We sat down at the kitchen table and began to eat.

"When is your next game, Jake?" my little brother asked.

"Tuesday," I replied.

"Oh! That reminds me. Emily, honey, this came in the mail yesterday." Mike stood and walked over to the stack of mail beside the microwave. He returned with an envelope, promptly handing it to Emily.

A smile broke across her face and excitement was clear in her eyes. She ripped it open and held two pieces of paper up.

"Well, what is it?" Drake asked.

"It's two tickets to the hockey game Thursday night," Emily replied, the smile still stuck on her face.

"What game?"

"The Pens are playing the Canes in Raleigh Thursday. Dad and I are going to see them. I love the Pens and it's been a while since I've seen them play."

Drake just burst. "An NHL game? I have been dying to go to a game all my life!"

"You go see me play hockey all the time," I pointed out.

"But you are not in the NHL. There is a big difference Jake. This is huge Emily. I can't believe you get to go."

Before Emily could say something, Mike cut in. "Well, if you boys want to, you are welcome to join us...that is, if Emily doesn't mind." I glanced over at her, smiling to reassure her when she glanced at me.

"Of course not," her voice was clear, but lacked the confidence of when she spoke to Drake.

As we ate, Drake was oozing excitement and anticipation. We talked about the upcoming games, both the NHL one and mine. We talked about school some too. Emily tried to talk more, but I could tell she was struggling. I did an imaginary fist punch up in the air when she would look at me, even if only for a second.

I really hoped she could overcome whatever damage there was. I wanted to see that side of her. Once supper was finished and the dishes were cleared, it was time to get Drake home. The week was starting and he needed to get ready for the next school day.

The drive home was eerily quiet. Drake must have been exhausted. Once home, I had him shower, change, and brush his teeth. Dad was passed out downstairs. I tucked Drake in after turning on his night light and I was almost out the door when he called my name.

"Jake?"

I turned. "Yeah?"

His voice was soft and serious. "Do you think Dad will get better?"

"Of course." I walked back over and sat on the edge of his bed. "We have to have hope, Drake. He will get back to his old self; he just needs more time."

Drake nodded and seemed content with my answer. I kissed his forehead without the objection that he was a man now. I walked out, turned off the overhead light, and closed the door. I made my way over to my room across the hall.

I changed into basketball shorts and tossed my shirt on the floor to begin this week's dirty clothes. I plugged in my phone so it could charge throughout the night and fell back onto my bed. I leaned over to turn on the lamp and opened the top drawer of my nightstand.

I pulled out the picture of my family and traced my thumb over my mother's face. We were so happy. This was the year before we found out about her cancer. It was just before a family vacation and we were going to Hawaii. We were all matching in geeky flowered shirts and beige shorts. Our grins were cheesy, but our happiness and love for one another was evident. That was my favorite vacation.

We had the most fun on that one. It was as if we all knew it was going to be our last vacation as a happy, healthy family. I sighed and put the picture away. I stared up at the ceiling thinking of how much I missed her laugh. She could never fake a laugh. It was always real and sounded like heaven. Her laugh could bring a smile to any one's face.

She could tell the best jokes and loved to get into a political debate. She was without a doubt the best mom I could have asked for. I just missed her.

I was lying there awake thinking about her when my phone beeped around one. Checking the text on my Blackberry, I saw it was from Emily. She asked if I was awake. What was she doing awake? I replied with a yes and it was seconds later that I received one back.

Want to go for a walk? I'm outside, went running.

She was running? She was outside my house? I quickly texted her back to let her know I would be down in a minute. It was chilly outside with the transition of summer to fall. All I had to do was grab a hoodie and slip on some shoes.

I quietly crept downstairs and out the front door. There she was, waiting at the end of the walkway. Stuffing my hands in my hoodie, I smiled and said hello.

"Hey." She wasn't looking at my face, but my chest.

"What are you doing out here?"

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and then stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets. "I woke up from a nightmare I can't remember and then I couldn't go back to sleep. I needed to move so I went for a run. I ended up stopping here to take a break. I saw the light and thought it might be your room. So here I am."

"Here you are. Do you know that, even though there are street lamps, it is dangerous to go running at one in the morning?"

She giggled and nodded. She glanced up at me and said, "Are we going to walk or not?" I smiled and we began to walk. "Why were you awake?" She asked.

I was quiet for a minute trying to decide whether or not to tell her the truth. Figuring I had nothing to lose I said, "I was thinking of my mom. She died from cancer a year ago."

Emily stopped walking and reached out to touch my arm. I faced her and tried to hide the sadness from my face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, looking directly at me now. Next thing I knew, she was hugging me tightly and repeated her apology.

I clutched her tighter to me and rested my chin on the top of her head. Taking a deep breath, I confessed, "Sometimes, I just really miss her."

She leaned back and once again looked directly at me. "What was she like?"

"Let's get to the park and I'll tell you all about her," I told her. Our hands returned to our pockets and we walked the short distance to the empty park.

We sat down on a bench under a light. After a few minutes, Emily surprised me once again. She took my hand, intertwined our fingers, and hugged my arm resting her head on my shoulder. She was trying to give me strength. She amazed me. Here was a girl who was scared of others and she was giving me strength.

I began to tell her about my mother and her jokes and how she was a strict mother, but so fun and full of life. I told her about how well she took care of us and always made sure we were respectful. She always made sure we were happy. If we had any questions or if we needed to talk to someone, she was always there.

"She sounds like she was a wonderful person," Emily said with a clear voice.

"She was," I replied. We sat in silence for about ten minutes while I collected myself. "You really shouldn't be running at night, you know."

She laughed a quiet laugh and said, "I know, but that won't stop me."

I leaned my head against hers. "Are you really okay with us coming to the game with you guys?"

"Yes. I mean, my dad is going so if I'm going to be a little uncomfortable, then I might as well add you two to the bunch. Plus, I really wanted Drake to go. He was too excited about it."

"Oh, I see. You just want my brother to go. Tsk. Tsk."

She laughed. "I wanted you to go too."

I looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

She laughed again and said, "Absolutely...just not as much as I wanted Drake to go."

I faked a horrified expression, making her giggle, and said, "Well, maybe I should just stay home."

She leaned her head back on my shoulder and said, "Too late. I already ordered the tickets. You are now in the same boat as me; you are going whether you like it or not."

I chuckled. I decided to take a leap. I didn't know how Emily would react, but I wanted to know what happened to her.

"You know about my mom," I began in a low tone, "will you tell me about yours?"

Emily tensed. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. "Never mind, we should probably head back and go home."

"No. I-I'll tell you just a little."

I sat and waited for her to explain.

Emily sighed and spoke in that fragile voice of hers, "My mom verbally abused me. Happy now?"

"No," I said wrapping an arm around her. It seemed that was all she was going to say. I waited five minutes.

"My mom was my best friend. She still is. She blamed me for my father leaving. She drank and was a drug addict. After a bad breakup, I believed what she told me. I still do. That's all." My heart tore at her words. I stood and brought her up with me. I was still holding her hand and she was standing close to me. She wasn't looking at me when she asked, "Why do you care?"

"Do you want the truth? There are a few reasons, but one main one." All she did was nod. "Besides the fact that I want you to see your self-worth," I paused, lifting her face to make her look at me, "I like you. I really like you."

9

Emily

Looking into Jake's green eyes, all I could think about was the heat coming off his body and the words he just said. His face was so close that I made the mistake of glancing at his lips. Suddenly, our lips crashed together. My arms made their way around his neck with my fingers running into his hair. Jake's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Our lips parted and our tongues danced to their own tune. The kissing seemed demanding and intense. I needed a moment to breathe and I pulled back. Locking eyes with Jake and taking two deep breaths, I found myself returning to his full lips and getting lost in his warmth.

Something clicked in my head and I realized exactly what I was doing. I pulled away abruptly and pushed Jake away from me. I looked at him with eyes full of sorrow. "I...I'm so...sorry." I took off running wanting nothing more than to escape from what was surely a mistake. I heard Jake frantically calling my name, but I kept going.

I could hear his running steps getting closer behind me but I was already going as fast as I could. Tears welled up in my eyes; I needed to get home. I felt a hand grasp my arm and he turned me around to face him. All the fight left me with one quick glance, and I buried myself in his embrace.

"It's okay, Emily. It's fine," Jake whispered in his deep soothing voice.

"I'm scared," I mumbled into his chest.

"I know, I know."

"No you don't. You don't know the full story. You couldn't even begin to understand."

"Then make me understand."

"There's something else that happened with my mom that no one knows." I push away from him again, not wanting anyone touching me.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. It's probably worse that anything my mother said."

He was silent and I debated about whether or not I should tell him. How did I know that I could trust him? An ache in the pit of my stomach wanted to get this information out. I was tired of holding it in. Finally, I rushed those horrible words out of my mouth. "She pimped me out for drugs and alcohol."

"Oh, Emily. I'm so sorry."

Fresh tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. After a good crying session, I ever so softly whispered four words. "I like you too."

He chuckled. "We can go slow, really slow. Or nothing at all...whatever you want." Whatever I wanted. I squeezed my eyes tighter. There we were, standing on the side of a street embracing in the middle of the night.

"I just want to go home," I said still talking to his chest. I didn't want to look at him.

"Okay, I'll walk you." He reached behind his back, took my arms from around him and intertwined one of my hands with his. Stepping back from Jake, I avoided looking at him and began to walk home. We didn't talk, but every now and again, I could feel Jake glancing at me.

Soon enough we were standing in front of my house. Jake walked me up to my door. He leaned down, kissed my forehead, and said, "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," I replied, opening the door quietly. I closed it behind me and locked it. Taking a deep breath, I went to my room and promptly fell asleep.

School had been boring so far. My mind was in a jumble as I avoided eyes and talking, all the while thinking about that kiss. I also doubted myself in the decision to tell Jake about my mother. Would he tell the whole school?

I was sitting at my usual table alone at lunch when Jake's deep voice said hello.

I looked up as he sat down in front of me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm eating lunch."

"No duh. Why are you sitting with me?"

"Well I can't exactly sit with them after Saturday," he said nodding his head towards where he usually sat with Claire and the others. "Plus, I´d rather sit with you," he added.

I looked slowly around the cafeteria. Many people were looking our way. It wasn't every day that a star hockey player sat with the girl who didn't talk. "You are causing too much attention," I said softly.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, time to begin."

I looked up at him, curious. "Begin what?" I asked.

"I said I was going to help you and that's what I intend to do. Let's start with eye contact and talking. I'm going to close my eyes and I want you to look at my eyelids. I'll ask pointless questions and you´ll answer them."

"How will you eat without looking?"

"I'm going to take quick breaks." He closed his eyes. "Okay. Favorite color?"

I looked at his eyelids. "Blue."

"Favorite day?"

"Saturday. Jake, this is weird."

One eye opened and he smiled. "Would you rather I open them?"

I shook my head and he closed his eye again. He began asking me about all my favorite things and then switched to things like my name, his name, etc. "When's your birthday?"

"October 11th. When's your birthday?"

He opened his eyes and said, "Hey! I'm supposed to be asking the questions." I giggled and looked away. "It's February 3rd. That's good enough for today."

I had to ask the question that was on my mind. I stared at the cafeteria food on my Styrofoam plate. "You won't tell anyone will you?" I asked, referring to my past.

"Absolutely not." Relieved, I was able to finish my meal before the bell rang to dismiss us for class.

My next and last class was the one with Jake. He walked by my side to class. It made me uneasy. People were noticing and I didn't want to be noticed. Jake leaned down and asked me, "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," I snapped and rushed into the class, leaving him behind. My iPod was in my bag and I was trying to decide if I wanted it or not. Nerves getting the best of me, I reached down and grabbed it. I put in my earphones and found John Mayer. His music could always soothe me. I didn't want to listen to "Monster" today.

I was able to make it through class without talking and simply listening to John Mayer sing. The bell rang to dismiss us. Everyone started standing up and leaving. Placing my iPod back in my bag, I made my way to the door.

"Emily!" I turned and was facing Jake's chest. I looked up at him and he smiled. "I just wanted to let you know that practice will run late tonight."

"Okay," I said, trying my best not to glance down at his lips. Why did he have to stand so close? My eyes made their way down his nose and to his lips against my will. Catching my glance, the lips turned into a smile. I quickly looked away, "I should get going." I turned on my heel and walked out, ignoring the chuckles behind me.

I stopped by my locker then headed down the hallway to leave. I made it to my car without incident. I pulled out and made the short drive to Drake's school. He was excited to see me. He told me about his day on the way to my house. He had a pop quiz and completed many activities.

At my house, we went into the kitchen and started on our homework. Drake was finished in no time and I told him he could either play with his car or watch TV. His day must have made him tired because he chose the latter. My homework, however, was going to take much longer to complete. I had papers to write, math to calculate, and tests that I needed to study for.

I took breaks every so often to watch TV with Drake or to fix him a snack or something to drink. I was working on my last paper when I heard my dad come in. He went into the living room with Drake, waving as he went, and started talking to him. I kept working and wishing I were done already. Even after I finished my paper, I would still be working because I had to study.

I was in school all day-7 hours- and I had to come home and work two to five hours every day, plus work on the weekends. I was still working on that paper when I heard Jake come in. He made idle conversation with my dad and Drake. He was sitting on the arm of the recliner and he kept sneaking glances at me.

It was hard to be productive when I could feel someone looking at me. Every time I glanced up, Jake smiled at me, causing me to blush. I had decided to stop looking and focus. I didn't need him distracting me. I heard my dad and Drake get up to go outside and play with Drake's car. Jake declined, saying he was going to get something to drink.

I didn't look up when he came into the kitchen. I was focusing on my work. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him disappear behind me to the fridge. I heard it open and then close. I felt his fingers lightly touching the back of my neck, causing me to freeze. He moved my hair aside and kissed my neck.

I could feel his breath still on my neck and the heat from his body behind me as he said, "Hey." I kept writing and mumbled a hello. He chuckled and sat down across from me. I let out a breath as his heat left me. "Did Drake do his homework?" I nodded.

I was about to finish my last sentence, but I didn't want to. If I finished, then I had to face Jake. Ah hell. I scribbled the last words and started placing things back into my bag. I could study later.

"You're not going to make another midnight run, are you?"

I looked up at him as I zipped my book bag closed. Smirking, I said, "I might." He laughed.

I stood, picking up my bag, and made my way to my room. I put my bag on the floor beside my dresser and turned around to run into Jake. "What are you doing?" I exclaimed.

He smiled, placed a hand behind my neck to bring me closer, and leaned down to kiss me. It was just as good as yesterday, but the demand was gone. It was slow and intense. I was so lost in the kiss and in Jake that I could have kissed him for a long time.

Then my senses slammed into me and I pulled away. "You can't do that. What if my dad walked in? Or Drake?" I stepped out of his embrace and walked out of the room. Those kisses made a little snaky voice in my head remind me that my mother thought I was a slut.

He followed me out, keeping pace, and said, "I'm sorry." I walked outside and sat on the steps of the porch. Jake sat down beside me and we watched Drake and my dad play with the remote control car. Jake nudged me with his knee. "I just got carried away. I'm sorry." Heat rose to my cheeks and I glanced at him.

"It's fine. You just caught me off guard."

"Eye contact. I like it."

I smiled and looked away. "Do you ever wonder why things happen?"

"Like, everything happens for a reason?"

I nodded. "Do you think that?"

He thought for a moment and then answered. "I don't know why things happen. I don't know why your mom would say what she did or do what she did. What I do think is that we have to take what happens, learn from it, and make ourselves a better person because of it."

I thought about what he said. It made sense. Without giving it too much thought, I leaned my head on his shoulder. "What if you can't make that happen?"

"Emily, you can make it happen. You have to have hope and you have to try. You can't let it consume you for the rest of your life. You have to trust us. We are going to help you every step of the way."

I took a deep breath and decided to let the issue rest. My dad looked over at us and gave me a funny look.

"I should probably get Drake home and fed." He kissed the top of my head when no one was looking and stood up. "Drake, come on. We need to get home." Drake whined a bit, but, with help from my dad, he went inside and got his blue backpack. He gave me a hug and they left.

My dad sat down next to me and asked, "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Too much," I attempted a laugh. My dad wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Should I be worried?"

I wasn't sure if he was talking about what I was thinking or what he saw when he glanced at Jake and me. "Worried about what?" I asked.

"Anything and everything."

I bit my lip. "I don't think so. I hope not."

"Well, you know that you can come and talk to me about anything. If you would rather write it instead of talking about it, that's fine too. I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

"I know."

"Well, let's go fix something for dinner."

"Can we eat out instead? I could go get pizza...I just feel like driving around. It'll help clear my head."

"Take all the time you need. I don't mind waiting."

With that, I went inside to find my keys and wallet. Once found, I went driving. I drove and drove. It was like when I was running. If I felt like turning, I did. I knew this county pretty well. There was no need to worry about getting lost.

Nevertheless, I did worry. It was just hard for me to imagine that my mom lied to me. But between Jake, my dad and Drake, she had to be lying, didn't she? On the other hand, was it everyone else that was lying? My mom, my best friend, how could she say those things to me if they weren't true? How could she do those things to me if I wasn't as horrible as she described me?

Or what if she thought what she said was true? Did my mom really think I was that horrible?

Yes. Without a doubt.

I had heard the hatred in her voice. I had seen the disgust in her eyes. How could I just ignore that and accept the love that these people gave me? What if they turned against me like my mom? I couldn't stand for another person to hate me the way my mom did. It hurt so much to lose the one person I loved most. How could I trust Jake? I barely knew him and I was expected to accept what he was saying?

I shook my head. I still didn't understand why. What did I do to cause that hatred? How did I keep from making that mistake again?

With that train of thought, I bought a pizza from Domino's and went home.

10

Jake

Ever since my dad started drinking and I had to take over the responsibilities, I was a good cook if I said so myself. I didn't know what I would do if he ever allowed his drinking to consume him so much that it affected his work.

The menu tonight was spaghetti. After almost burning the garlic bread, I put the food on our plates and called Drake down for supper. Dad, being dad, stayed in his room. Drake ran down the stairs.

As soon as he sat down, he was cramming down food. "Take it easy, Drake. You don't have to eat it all at once."

He slowed down and began to eat like normal. "Hey, Jake, do you think Emily will take me to your game tomorrow?"

Oh, man. I had forgotten about that. "I'll pick you up tomorrow. I don't have to be at school until five, so I can get you." His shoulders slumped. "What? You don't like hanging out with your big brother anymore?"

"Are we going to do something fun?"

"After we finish our homework, sure."

"Like what?"

I racked my brain. "We can play that new video game you got." His smile returned and he seemed happy with that.

After we finished dinner, he went upstairs to play in his room. I washed dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. Dad could fend for himself. Grabbing my book bag, I went up to my room, fell onto my bed, and started on my own homework. I turned on the TV and watched George Lopez.

Around ten, I finished just as my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Emily. I left my phone on my bed and walked across the hall to Drake's room. He was playing his new video game.

"Alright, Drake, change into your pjs and get to bed." He didn't put up a fight and did what I asked. Once he changed and brushed his teeth, I tucked him in.

"Hey, Jake?"

I sat down on the edge of his bed and replied, "Yea?"

"I've been thinking and I have a question."

Oh. What in the world could that be? "What is it?"

"Why does Emily act differently around you and Mr. Mike?"

She acts differently around you, Drake, not us. I took a deep breath and tried to think of something to tell him. "Maybe it's because you're little and she likes you better."

That brought a slight smile to his face and he said, "Maybe that's it, I am an awesome kid. But I don't think that's it."

I laughed. "Yes, you are an awesome kid. What do you think?"

His face grew serious and he said, "I think someone was really mean to her 'cause she seems scared."

Drake had no idea how right he was. "Well, maybe we can make her not scared anymore." Drake seemed to like that and I kissed his forehead. "Good night, buddy," I told him.

"Good night."

I closed the door behind me and went back to my room. I fell onto my bed and decided to text Emily back.

Hey. What's up?

Trying and failing to study.

Haha, oh! I'll pick up Drake 2moro.

How come?

I've got a game but I don't have to be @ school till five.

Oh...okay.

Will you come?

It took a few minutes before I got a response.

Okay...dad will love that.

 Sweet. No midnight runs tonight, right?

Haha, idk...last night wasn't too bad.

Glad to hear that.

My mom called today...I can't tell my dad. I don't want him to worry

What the hell did that woman want from her? Need to talk about it?

Idk...I need to think. I can't do that being still. I need to run or walk.

I'll be at ur house in a few...we can walk back here...don't want u 2 wlk alone.

You don't have to.

Don't be crazy. Can you sneak out?

Yes...let me know when you're here.

I checked on Drake and saw that he was sleeping. I went downstairs and peeked into my Dad's room. He was out too. I was careful to be quiet as I walked out of the house. I jogged to Emily's and texted her. A few minutes later, she came outside. The air was crisp and cool, but she was wearing blue shorts and a white tee.

The light from the streetlamp caught her face when she glanced up at me. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. I took her in my arms once she was close enough. "Come on, let's get back to my house. I don't want Drake to wake up and me not be there."

We started walking back to my house and I kept my arm around her. She wasn't talking and it was scaring me. What did her mom do this time? Nevertheless, it had to count for something that she texted me, right?

When we arrived at my house, I was about to open the door when Emily finally spoke. "Can't we stay out here? What if Drake wakes up?"

"Inside or out, he'll see you either way. It's warmer inside too." She hesitated for a moment then nodded. I walked into the dark house and led her upstairs to my room. "Let me check on Drake, real quick. Just throw stuff to the side if it's in your way," I whispered.

She went in and I checked on Drake. He was still sleeping. It didn't hit me until I came back last night that I shouldn't have left the house for that long with Drake here practically by himself. I went into my room and was thankful it was still clean. Emily was sitting on the very edge of my bed, wringing her hands.

I closed the door and sat down beside her. It was as if the dam broke. Tears fell like rain and Emily tried her best to talk. "She's not supposed to call. She...she's not supposed...to talk to me...at all."

"Shh. Just cry it all out and then we'll talk," I said wrapping my arm around her and giving her a shoulder. Her crying was just like how she usually talked to me and her dad, quiet.

About thirty minutes later, we moved to the center of my bed. Our backs were resting against the headboard and our legs were stretched out. She had finally stopped crying. "Tell me what happened," I said softly.

"She called me and said she was sorry. She didn't mean 'to be so harsh' when she was telling me 'the truth'. Jake, you don't understand. Mom can be so mean, but, at the same time, she can be loving. She wants me to tell my dad I want to go live with her. I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean you don't know? Emily, you can't go back. Don't you see what she has done to you? Going back to her would be like a death sentence for you. Why would you even want to go back?"

Her voice was softer than I ever heard it. "She's my mom and my best friend. I love her...I miss her."

I signed. "You can't honestly miss how she treated you."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. She was being loving by telling me these things. Therefore, if she was telling the truth, then why can't I believe her?"

I tilted Emily's face up so she would look at me. "That's the thing, Emily. She wasn't telling the truth."

"But why would she lie to me?"

"I don't know. What did you tell her when she asked you to come back?"

"I told her no. I can't leave my dad. He would be devastated. Plus, I would have to change schools again and I don't want to do that. What if she calls me back?" Her eyes were full of worry.

"Don't answer. Give it to your dad and let him talk to her."

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. "Will it ever get better?"

"Of course it will. You just need to let us help you along the way." She took a deep breath and watched what was currently showing on my TV, which was The Nanny.

After the episode was over, I was going to say something, but Emily was fast asleep. I hated to wake her up. She seemed relaxed and at peace. I would wait a bit before I woke her up.

I felt a warm body beside me. An arm was wrapped around my waist and legs were entangled with mine. With my free hand, I wiped my eyes and saw Emily. Oh shit. I looked over at the digital alarm clock and saw it was a little after three in the morning.

"Emily," I said. She stirred, but didn't wake up. I shook her lightly and called her name again.

She bolted upright and looked at me. "You scared me," she said with a slight grin.

I smiled. "Sorry, I meant to wake you up around twelve, but I fell asleep too. Let me get you home." I took her hand and we quietly walked downstairs.

Halfway to her house, she spoke and her voice was clear with a hint a confidence. "Thanks, Jake. I feel a little bit better now."

"Even though you slept most of the time?" I ask looking over at her.

She looked at me and said, "Yes. I slept really well." I chuckled and squeezed her hand. "You are quite the pillow, Jake," she said with a small laugh.

"Why thank you! I try my best."

We were getting closer to her house when I spoke again. "Would it be too much for me to ask you out on a date?"

Emily looked over at me and the surprise was clear on her face. She gazed ahead for a few seconds and said, "Ask me and we'll see."

I smiled as we walked up the walkway to her house. When we were standing face to face at her door, I asked, "Emily, would you like to go on a date with me? As in a date where we would have nothing but fun, no serious talk. Just good old fun."

She smiled up at me and pretended to think. "I think that is exactly what I need."

For the third time that night, Emily surprised me. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled her to me and deepened the kiss. That probably wasn't what she had in mind, but I couldn't resist. Her body was warm and fit. It seemed to melt into my own. Her hair was so soft as I ran my hand up to grasp the back of her neck. Her hands ran up my chest and rested on my shoulders.

All too soon, it was over and she stepped back with her cheeks blushing. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jake."

"Sweet dreams, Emily."

"Sweet dreams."

She went inside and I made the walk back to my house. I grinned the whole way. I had a date, with Emily. I couldn't wait. For the first time in a long time, I went to bed with a smile on my face.

11

Emily

Today was a repeat of yesterday for the most part. Papers were turned in. Teachers gave lectures. It was a boring day as usual. I was a little excited about lunch, but mostly anxious. Would Jake sit with me again today?

The answer was yes. I pushed all the doubt out of my head and focused on our "session". With his eyes closed, I talked to him. Instead of him asking questions, I did the talking.

We had our presentation next period and I asked him to do all the talking. He popped open one green eye and I tried not to giggle. He just looked too funny when he did that. "I don't know. I think you should try to talk some. It would be good for you."

"I can't do that, Jake." Both eyes were open now and I was trying my hardest not to look away.

"You can talk to me and Drake easily."

"Yeah, but I won't be talking to people I'm comfortable with. I'll be talking to a class full of people who think I'm a quiet freak."

His smile faded. "They don't think you are a freak. They just think you aren't very social."

He cracked a smile and I rolled my eyes. "It's the same thing. Please, don't make me do this, Jake." I bit my lip while I waited for him to answer.

He took a bite of his burger and said, "Okay, I'll talk. But you owe me."

"Owe you what?" I was mostly curious, but there was no telling what he would say, which scared me a little.

He leaned forward and stared at me in my eyes. My gaze dropped to his lips and he smiled. I looked back into his eyes and he said, "Seems like you already know." I could feel the heat creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. Jake chuckled and I ignored it.

The bell rang and we walked to my locker. I spun the dial and was very conscious of Jake standing close by. I grabbed the right book and the rolled up poster and turned to Jake. He reached for the poster, but I pulled it away. "No way. I'll keep this. I have to make sure you don't try and go back on your word."

He grinned and leaned in close. "You don't have to worry about that."

He stood up straight and I took a deep breath. "Let's go," I said stepping around him. I heard him chuckle behind me. I liked the sound of it, but at the same time I felt as if he was laughing at me.

While we waited for our turn, I kept biting my lip. I really didn't want to do this. The familiar knot churned my stomach and my head started to pound.

"Jake, Emily. You're up."

I grabbed the poster and, with shaky hands, took the rubber band off. I walked up to the front of the class where Jake was waiting. I held the poster up, covering my face and let Jake do the talking. The three-minute presentation seemed to last three hours. How did people do this? It was as if I could feel everyone's stares through the poster.

I sank into my seat with a deep breath once we were done. I felt relieved as I put my head down on my desk, but my heart was still racing a hundred miles a minute. I tried to take deep, slow, quiet breaths to calm myself.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and then I heard a whisper, "Are you okay, Emily?"

I turned my head to look at Jake. "I'm fine." I gave a weak smile, but he didn't seem to buy it. "I'm fine. Go. Sit down before we get in trouble." However, it seemed that the teacher knew he was back there. I sat up and pointed to his empty chair, silently telling him to go sit down. After a moment, he did as I wished.

I didn't put my head back down as I was feeling a bit better. Jake kept glancing back at me and I would offer a wave.

When class was over and I was relieved. Since I didn't have to get Drake today, I thought it would be good to walk home. After making the necessary stops, I walked out of school and made my way to the sidewalk.

"Emily!" I turned to see Jake standing by his car. "Do you want a ride?"

"If I wanted a ride, wouldn't I have driven my own car?"

He laughed and said, "Good point."

I turned around and began my walk home. While I was feeling better about my mom calling, I was worried she would call again. What if she showed up at my house? A cold shiver of terror went down my spine. Arriving home, I locked the door behind me. I sat down at the table and realized how empty the house was.

Without Drake or my dad here, the house was quiet and eerily empty. Silence meant my thoughts were coming full force like a train and crashing into me. I couldn't go through with this. Whatever this was. After the game Thursday, life would go back to normal. I wouldn't have to be around Jake. I wouldn't have to wonder why he was around. I wouldn't have to wonder why some random person like Jake Benson would want to be around me when my own mother despised me.

Tired of the trail of thoughts, I pushed my chair back and walked over to the radio that was installed under the cabinets over the counter. I found one of my favorite stations, Bob 93.3 and turned it up. I felt better with some noise.

I finished my homework two hours later. My dad came in the door as I was packing my things up. "Hey, hon. How was your day?"

"Pretty good. Yours?"

"Tiring. I'm going to have to work this weekend. Will you be okay here?"

"Of course." Dad started to get various items out of the fridge and pantry for supper. "Oh, Jake wants us to go to his game tonight. We can just grab a bite later."

He began to put everything back, "Alrighty then, what time does it start?"

"In about thirty minutes. We should go ahead and find seats."

"Okay, I'll drive. Just let me get out of my suit." He left me in the kitchen to change.

I went to my room with my backpack in hand and dropped it beside my dresser. I checked myself in the mirror...whoa, where did that come from? I haven't cared what I looked like in a long time.

"Let's go, Emily." No time to think about it. With my phone in my jacket pocket, I headed out the door and to the game.

We met the chilly air as we entered the rink. "Emily! Over here!" I looked towards the bench and saw Drake waving at me. My dad and I made our way to him. He gave me a hug.

"Hey, buddy."

"Hey, Emily. Hey, Mr. Mike. Can we get ice cream after the game?"

My dad was the one who answered. "If Jake wins, we can." Drake smiled a huge smile. "He will win then. I saved you guys a seat!" He pointed to two seats next to the bench in front of the glass. The players were starting to come out and skate around the ice. "Well, I have to go." Drake waved goodbye and went to go to the bench.

We took our seats and the game began a few minutes later. My eyes followed Jake around the ice and, when he was on the bench, I tried to focus on the entire team. The Ravens were already doing well. My dad and I rooted and cheered them on. I was having a fantastic time.

There were five minutes left in the 3rd period and we were leading 3-1 when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Who in the world was calling me? Taking it out, I looked at the screen, and it was as if everything around me fell away. My hands began to shake as I saw the word Mom popping up on the screen.

"Emily? What's wrong," I vaguely heard my dad say. I showed him the phone and I saw his face turn to ice with anger. He took the phone and walked outside.

I plopped into my seat and buried my face in my hands. Why does she keep doing this to me?

"Emily!" I ignored the voice, but it called out to me again. I looked over to where the voice was coming from and saw Jake standing at the glass in the bench area. I stood and walked over. "Are you okay? You're pale," his voice was full of concern.

"My mom," was all I could manage to say. His eyes showed conflicting emotions of rage and sadness.

"Benson! Let's go! NOW!" He turned to look at his coach and gave me an apologetic smile. Then he was gone.

A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, turning to see my dad. "C'mon. Let's go outside and talk for a minute."

I followed him outside and relished the cool air as it brushed over my skin. We walked away from the door a bit and my dad embraced me in a bear hug. "I'm so sorry, honey."

I took in the comfort that was my dad. "She called last night. I should have told you. I just didn't know what to think. I was just hoping she would leave me alone."

"You should have come to me, hon, but it's alright. She shouldn't bother you anymore."

"I still miss her, Daddy," I barely managed to choke out.

"Oh, honey, I know. Sometimes I miss her too. She isn't the same person anymore so we have to remember that." He sighed. "I just want you to remember that I love you so much and that I'm always here for you no matter what. You can come and talk to me about anything. If you just want to talk and get something out, you can. I won't say a word if you don't want me to. Just know that I'm here for you, honey."

I squeezed him in reassurance. "I know, Daddy. I love you too." He held me in his arms as if I would dissolve and blow away in the breeze if he were to let go.

I knew right then that my Dad did love me and he meant what he said. I don't know what I did to be worthy of his love, but I had it and I would try and try to become a woman he would be proud of. Maybe I could do the same thing for Jake and Drake.

"Emily, we won! We get to go get ice cream now, right?" I turned around to see Drake rushing to me. It seemed that everyone was gone or leaving.

"Of course, buddy. It won't be like what we had Saturday, but it'll still be good," I told him. He was so excited and it brought a smile to my face.

"Emily? Everything okay?" Jake came up to me and gave me a one armed hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"Yes. Dad and I talked about it."

"Good." He visibly seemed to relax.

"Sorry I missed the end of the game."

"It's fine. I hear we are going out for ice cream?"

I smiled over at Drake, "Yes, we are."

"Jake, can I ride with Mr. Mike?" Drake looked at Jake with pleading eyes.

"If you ride with Mr. Mike, then Emily has to ride with me," he said pulling me a little closer.

I had yet to look over at my dad. I was too nervous to see his reaction. "Well, let's go then," I said. We broke away from my dad and Drake and headed over to Jake's Mustang. "You smell good," I giggled.

Jake chuckled and said, "Of course I do. I took a quick shower after the game once I found out about going out for ice cream." He opened my door for me, then he walked around and got in himself.

The Dairy Queen was about ten minutes from the school. Jake wasted no time. "What did Mike say about your mom?"

"Just that she wouldn't call me anymore. I hope he's right." Jake reached over and took a firm grasp of my hand, intertwining our fingers.

I looked over at him brightly, "So, when is this date we are supposed to go on?"

He grinned. "I was thinking about Friday."

I nodded and said, "Sounds good to me. I haven't told my dad yet."

Jake looked over at me. "It'll be fine. I can tell him if you want me to."

I shook my head and looked out the window. "Where are we going to go?"

"It's a surprise," he said with a mischievous grin. I groaned, which made him laugh. "I'm glad you are excited. I, for one, can't wait to have you to myself when it's daylight. This thing at night is killing my beauty sleep."

I burst out laughing. "You do not need beauty sleep. You are a natural hottie," I told him as we parked.

He leaned over and looked at me with a smirk. "You think I'm a hottie, do you?" His perfect full lips were so close. A sigh leaked out and that just cracked Jake up. "C'mon. Dad and Drake are waiting," I said getting out of the car and away from his oh-so-kissable lips.

Dad and Drake were waiting by the door and Jake was right behind me. We walked in. The tiny space was packed for eight at night. "Honey, why don't you and Drake find a seat and we'll order," dad said. "The usual, right?" I nodded, took Drake's hand, and found a booth near a window.

12

Jake

I ordered myself an Oreo Blizzard and a vanilla ice cream cone with sprinkles for Drake. Mike ordered Emily a banana split, her favorite, and a brownie sundae for himself. While we were waiting, Mike asked me a question. "So, what exactly is going on between you and my daughter? I saw that kiss and your arm around her waist at the game so don't even think about giving me that look."

I gave him a sly smile and decided on the truth. Mike didn't seem to me like the kind of guy who should have someone pulling his leg. "I really like her. She's been opening up to me about her mom and stuff. I knew she called her last night and I told her that next time, she should just let you talk to her."

"She told you?" Mike was in disbelief.

"Yeah, and every day during lunch, I try to make her more comfortable around people. I have her talk to me about anything and have her look at my eyelids." Mike gave me a questioning look and I continued. "I close my eyes while she talks to me. Soon, she'll have to look at them. Anyways, she's doing pretty well. I asked her out on a date too." Mike's eyebrows shot up and he began to look a little uneasy. "She agreed," I said before he could open his mouth. Then his expression turned to full fledged shock.

He slowly started to talk. "I don't know Jake. I don't want her to get involved just when she's coming out of her shell. If she gets hurt, she could easily go back to square one and then what if I can't get her back out?"

"It's simple," I said. "I don't plan on hurting her."

"Just because you don't plan on it, doesn't mean you won't." He sighed. "Just please be careful with her. I don't want to lose her again." I nodded just as our ice cream was ready. We headed to the booth where Emily was cracking up over something Drake had said.

I sat beside her leaving Mike to sit beside Drake. Ice creams were handed out and we dug in. Emily moaned, "It has been way too long since I've had one of these. Drake, you're a genius." Drake smiled and continued to lick his ice cream, getting sprinkles stuck to the side of his mouth. It would be useless for me to say something about it until he had finished.

"I have another game tomorrow, are you guys coming?" I asked, looking over at Emily who glanced over at her dad who in turn shrugged.

"I have some papers that are due Thursday and I haven't done them yet. I was planning to do them tomorrow. Sorry Jake."

"It's fine. What are our plans for Thursday?"

Mike spoke up. "We'll probably leave around five to be there by seven. That way we'll have a little wiggle room for rush hour traffic. You can meet us at our house a little before five or we can pick you up. Either way is fine with me."

"I'll meet you at your house. What do I owe you for the tickets?"

"Don't worry about it. It's on me. I'm just happy to take Drake to his first game."

"Mike, I can't let you do that. Just tell me."

Emily put a hand on my shoulder. She looked at me (yes!) and said, "You might as well just let him. Once he has decided to pay for something, you can't convince him otherwise. I can't wait to go and see Crosby play again."

"She used to say that she was in love with him and that she would marry him one day," Mike said with an evil grin.

"Dad!"

I looked over at Emily and tried not to laugh. "Emily Crosby, huh?"

Drake chirped in before I could tease her more, "Emily and Sidney, sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Her cheeks were a bright red. "You guys are horrible! Sidney Crosby has to be one of the hottest players and one of the best, especially for his age! There's nothing wrong with liking him."

"You don't like him, Emily. You love him," I said laughing. She elbowed me in the ribs. "That hurt, Emily!" I was still laughing. Her expression was priceless.

"Well, I'm sorry I have a thing for hockey players," she burst out.

Mike was laughing too. "Now that you mention it, I guess you do. Her previous boyfriends were hockey players...all of them. She's attracted to them like a moth to the light."

I looked over at her with a raised eyebrow "How many boyfriends have you had?"

"Just a few."

"Emily, don't lie to the boy."

"Yeah, Emily. You aren't supposed to lie!" Drake gives her a pointed look while I wait for an answer.

"Six is a few. There was Gregory, Trey, Derek, Conrad, Aaron, and Zachary."

"Ah, yes, Conrad. That breakup was hard on you. They were inseparable," Mike added.

"You've had six boyfriends, Emily? I can't even get one girlfriend," Drake exclaimed and we all laughed.

Six boyfriends? And she had been inseparable from one? Was that the bad break up she mentioned? Emily's quiet demeanor returned for a second as if she was missing something. Or someone. A wave of jealously washed over me at the thought that she was missing Conrad. This was dangerous territory and I was ready for a subject change.

"Jake hasn't had that many girlfriends," Drake laughed.

I gave him an evil glare. "That you know of, little brother."

Emily chirped in, "Well, how many Jake? I had to spill, and so do you."

"Four. Mike, how many girlfriends did you have in high school?"

He gave a hearty laugh and said, "Too many to count. I was what you kids call a player these days." We all laughed.

It was getting time to head home. "Drake, wipe your mouth. We should probably get going."

"Thanks, Drake. Ice cream was exactly what I needed," Emily said as we were leaving, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Next time, we should go to Cold Stone," he said.

A beautiful smile broke out on Emily's face. "Cold Stone it is. Maybe we'll go this weekend, if Jake says you can come with me."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and said, "What? I don't get to come?"

She wrapped an arm around my waist and said, "Of course you can." I grinned and kissed her forehead.

We reached Mike's car and he got in. I stopped Emily and told Drake to get in my car that was a few spots down. I leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Will I see you later?" She nodded. "I'll come around eleven, okay?"

She nodded again. "Bye, Jake."

I waved and headed for my car with a smile plastered across my face. I got in and headed home.

"Everything okay?" I asked after Drake had been quiet for a few minutes.

"Are you and Emily dating?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you kissed her."

"Do you not want me to date her?"

"No."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because if you break up with her then I won't ever see her anymore! She's my best friend in the whole world, Jake! If you date her and then break up, I lose my best friend! Why would you ruin that?"

I was surprised by Drake's outburst. I quickly collected myself and said, "Drake, if we break up, I promise you can still hang out with Emily. I'm sure she would still want to hang out with you."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart." He seemed content with that.

At home, I got Drake into the shower and went to my room to start on homework so I would be finished in time to go get Emily. Thankful that I didn't have a bunch of work to do, I quickly got started.

"Jake?" I looked up from my work and glanced at the clock. "It's time for me to go to bed," Drake continued.

I got up and followed him to his room. "Did you have a good day today?"

"Yeah. The ice cream was the best part," he said as he climbed into bed.

"I think so too," I said. Once he was settled, I tucked him in and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Drake."

"Night."

I turned off the light and closed the door. I flopped onto my bed once and continued with my work. I finished just as eleven rolled around. I quietly made my way downstairs and checked to make sure Dad was in his room. He was passed out on his bed with an old home video of my Mom playing. I closed the door and made my way to Emily's.

After a few minutes, I texted her and let her know I was outside. Seconds later, she slipped out and walked towards me. I held out my hand and she took it. She gave me a quick peck on the lips and pulled me towards my house. "Anxious are you?"

She giggled and said, "I'm just cold." She broke off into a run, saying, "Race you!" I took off after her and soon I passed her. She was laughing and I heard her coming closer. "Ow!" I turned around to see her grasping her ankle. I ran back to her and knelt. As soon as I was down, she burst out laughing and took off. That sneaky girl! I ran after her, but she beat me to my house.

I caught her around her waist and held her to me. "That was wrong," I said, but I was unable to keep the laugh from escaping. She took my hand and led me up to my door with a smile. I opened the door and we snuck upstairs to my room.

I checked on Drake and returned to my room where Emily was laying on my bed, feigning exhaustion. I plopped down beside her on my stomach with my torso on top of her and my elbows propped up on either side of her head. "You are a devious person, Emily."

She let out a soft giggle and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Well, I felt carefree and full of life. It's been forever since I have, so I'll take that comment with no problem."

I gave her a quick kiss and said, "Well, I'll take it back then. Hey, about our date Friday..."

I felt her tense under me as she asked, "What about it?"

"I just wanted to tell you that your dad knows and that Drake knows too. He was upset at first."

"My dad knows? How? Why was Drake upset?"

"Your dad asked me about us while we were ordering ice cream. And Drake asked me if we were because I kissed you on the forehead and he was upset because he thinks if we break up, he won't see you anymore. He says you're his best friend." At that, she smiled. "I promised him that you would still hang out with him."

"Of course I would. You'll pick Drake up tomorrow, right?"

I nodded and I pushed a piece of hair away from her face. She locked eyes with me, but soon her eyes dropped to my lips. I loved it when she did that. I couldn't help but smile. "Hey, you owe me, remember?"

The girl who I'd come to learn was full of surprises despite her past pulled me down to her and kissed me. Her mouth was hot and her tongue slid into my mouth. Her fingers raked through the hair at the nape of my neck.

I heard a creak in the hallway and pulled away. "Let me go check on Drake," I said with a heavy breath. I got up and opened my door to see Drake walking towards me. I closed my door and picked him up. "What's up, buddy?"

He rubbed his eyes and said, "I had a nightmare."

I took him back to his room and asked him, "How about I lay here with you until you go to sleep?"

"Okay," he said sleepily. We lay down and he cuddled up against me. About twenty minutes later, he fell asleep. I lay with him an extra five minutes just to be safe. I got up and went back to my room.

Emily was sitting Indian style when I walked in. "Everything okay?" She asked as I close the door.

"Yeah, Drake had a nightmare so I lay with him until he fell asleep."

"That's sweet," she said as I sat down beside her. I nodded. "So where are we going on this date? I need to know what to wear," she said.

I was planning on going bowling and then walking on the beach since we would be close. "Flip-flops will work, but bring a pair of socks."

"What?"

I smiled. "Just do it." Emily covered up a yawn and lay down, tugging me down with her. She snuggled up to me and laid her head on my chest. "If you're sleepy, then I should probably take you home."

"I don't want to go home just yet."

My fingers trailed up and down her back. With her warm body laying up against me, I realized I didn't want her to go home.

She looked up at me with her brown eyes and long eyelashes. "What are you thinking about?"

"Why don't you sleep here tonight? I can wake up early enough to get you home."

"I don't know, Jake." She bit her lip while she thought about it. She laid her head back down.

For some reason, I thought of her boyfriends. "Hey, earlier when we were eating ice cream, you seemed like you were in another world," I commented.

"I was," she said softly. Should I ask her about it? She answered the question for me. "I was thinking about Conrad and our break up."

"What happened?" I asked.

She sighed. "I don't know. We were fantastic together and we were in love. My mom was just starting with her comments and I was spending almost all my time with him. Then one day, after a perfect day together, he showed up at my house and broke up with me. I was devastated. After that and my mom pounding me for a week, I just gave in. I started believing what she said. I mean, it had to be true if Conrad broke up with me. He didn't explain. He just left. Now he's away at college. I haven't talked to him since."

The fact that she was in love with this guy really bothered me. He was part of the reason she allowed herself to believe what her mom said!

"But it doesn't matter now. Let's not talk about it anymore." She ended the conversation with that and began to trail her fingers over my stomach, which tensed from the sensation. After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and I grabbed her hand. "What?" She giggled.

I intertwined our hands and told her, "You keep doing that and you will definitely not go home."

She looked up at me and I kissed her. My hands glided down her body until I reached her hips. I pulled her closer to me as her fingers raked through my hair. Her skin felt unbearably hot under her shirt.

Abruptly she stopped and looked at me. Our breathing was slightly heavy. She looked at me for a minute before she rolled over and started staring at the ceiling.

I rolled onto my side and looked at her. "What's the matter?"

She sighed. "Nothing. I just...I should probably head home."

"You sure?"

She looked over at me and nodded. I stood up and held my hand out to her. She grasped it and stood up. We quietly made our way downstairs and outside. Emily shivered and I pulled her closer to me.

The walk to her house was filled with silence until I decided to break it. "Hey, why so quiet?" I asked, bumping her shoulder.

She looked at me and smiled. All my uneasiness fades away. "Just thinking."

"About?" I asked.

She wrapped an arm around my waist and said, "About how I can't wait for our date." I'm not completely sure I believed her, but I didn't say so. Soon we were at her house and she was standing in front of me. I leaned down and gave her a short and sweet kiss. "I'll see you later, Jake," she said, and then she was gone.

13

Emily

Wednesday was just another day. I went through my classes and had lunch with Jake, who had both eyes open today. It was getting easier to make eye contact. Well, with Jake and my dad it was.

I couldn't help but thinking about how Conrad once again invaded my thoughts last night while I was kissing Jake. No. Conrad was not going to take over again. He was long gone and even though I missed him sometimes, the facts were still the same. He was at college and I was here, with Jake. With a sigh, I pushed Conrad out of my mind for good.

I spent all afternoon working on homework and wondering how the game was going. My dad came home in a great mood and started on supper. I took a break from my work and we ate dinner. Dad was going on and on about his work and the things he was working on.

He cleaned up our dirty dishes and I continued writing my papers. I finally finished around nine and I took a shower. The hot water splashed my body and it relaxed me. Once I was squeaky clean, I dried off and changed into my pajamas. I had just crawled under the sheets when Jake called.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey, Emily. How was homework?"

"Torture. How was the game?"

"Great. We won 3-2."

"That's great."

"Are you coming over tonight?"

"Probably not. I'm exhausted and would like nothing better than to sleep."

"Aw, c'mon Emily. I want to see you."

I rolled onto my stomach and propped myself up on my elbows. "You do," I feigned surprise.

"Of course I do," he said with a chuckle. "My arms need to wrap around you and my lips need to find yours," he continued.

I giggled, "So your body wants to see me? Well... I don't know."

"Emily, every fiber of my body and mind wants to see you. Instead of talking and whatnot, you can sleep here and then I'll take you back home. C'mon. Please?"

How could I say no to that? "Fine, but I'm wearing my pjs."

He chuckled, "I'll be there at eleven. I'll see you soon."

"Bye," I said. I went into the bathroom and saw that my hair looked like a big mess. I grabbed a hair tie and threw it up in a ponytail. Satisfied, I lay down until eleven rolled around.

It was a good thing I was wearing pajama pants because it was cold. Too bad I was wearing them with a tank top, but at least I had brought a jacket. I snuck out and jogged to where Jake was waiting. He grinned when he saw me and wrapped his arms around me, planting a kiss on my lips.

"Hello to you too," I told him.

"Hello," he said in a husky voice. Hearing his deep voice sound like that sent a shiver through my body. He took my hand and we headed to his house.

"Sorry for the bed look, but I was already changed and comfy," I said.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said, "You look fine. I actually think I like it."

"Yeah, right." I laughed.

"I do," he said with a kiss to my forehead. I leaned into him and silence filled the walk to his house. We snuck inside and up to his room. While he checked on Drake, I slipped off my shoes and jacket and set them aside. I climbed under the covers of his bed, getting myself comfortable. He came in with a hint of surprise on his face.

"What? You told me I could sleep when I got here."

He chuckled and took off his hoodie, revealing a lean, muscular body. He slipped off his shoes, leaving him dressed in only black basketball shorts and black socks. He climbed in beside me and we lay facing each other. He leaned in and gave me the best kiss ever.

His body radiated heat and I couldn't help but reach out and run my fingers over his torso. His hands pulled me closer and ran down my body. Being pressed up against his bare chest made me dizzy.

Reluctantly I pulled away before I could get carried away and said, "Hey, I am supposed to be sleeping." He laughed and closed his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep," he said without opening his eyes.

"I don't want you to go to sleep. I don't even want to go to sleep now."

"Well, too bad," he said with a smile.

"Will you open your eyes and look at me?"

He did. I grabbed his face and pulled him to me. I kissed him hard and passionately. Just when he placed a hand behind my neck to pull me even closer, I pulled away and closed my eyes. "Night," I told him with a smile.

He groaned and said, "Sweet dreams."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and let his body heat wrap around me, leading me to sleep.

I woke up with my head buried in Jake's chest and my legs tangled in his. I was so comfortable, warm, and peaceful. I didn't want to move, much less face the cold air outside and go home. I kissed the place where his heart was and leaned back to see Jake smiling at me.

"Hey, sleepy head," he whispered.

"Hey. What time is it?"

"About four. I should probably get you home."

I buried my face in his chest and said, "Maybe in a few minutes." His arms tightened around me and I felt a kiss on my head. I almost fell back asleep but Jake reminded me that I should probably get back home. "No. I like it here."

"I like it here too, but unless you want to wake up here in the morning you should probably get home." He stood up and pulled me up with him. He handed me my jacket and shoes. While he was putting his hoodie and shoes back on, I did the same. Once ready, we headed to my house.

Once we were in front of my house, I double-checked that I would pick up Drake tomorrow.

"Either one of us could get him. I don't have practice," Jake responded.

"I will. I miss him."

He smiled and gave me a kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow, Emily. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Jake." I walked inside and waved goodbye to him.

I awoke to rain pelting on the roof. I got ready for school and smiled as I remembered last night. I left for school shortly after. I parked my car and thought about running into the school to avoid getting soaked. Instead I walked and twirled in circles with my arms out. I turned my face up to the sky and closed my eyes.

"Emily, what are you doing?"

I looked to see Jake running towards me. "I'm enjoying the rain," I said wanting to kiss him. His hair was stuck to his head and raindrops were hanging off the ends of some strands.

He smiled and said, "Well you need to get inside before you catch a cold or have to wear wet clothes all day." He wrapped an arm around my waist and led me inside.

He kept glancing over at me and finally I asked, "What?"

"I've never seen you like that before. So carefree and bursting with life," he said with a smile. I smiled loving the feeling coursing through me. "I like it," he added.

We reach my locker and he gave me a kiss on the forehead before heading to his own. I grabbed the books I would need and put the ones I didn't back into my locker.

"Well, look who can actually smile."

I turned to see Claire and two other girls standing behind me. The hate was evident in their eyes and I looked away. "What do you want," I asked.

"I want to know what a guy like Jake is doing with a girl like you?" she said.

Surprise flitted across her eyes as I felt a body against my back and arms circled around my waist. I knew it was Jake and he said, "Why don't you ask me yourself?" Claire's face brightened with anger. "Well?" Jake asked. She turned around and stalked off with her friends following her. "Sorry," Jake said resting his chin on my shoulder.

I leaned into him and took a deep breath. "It's nothing," I said.

He kissed my neck and said, "Right. Claire is just Claire. It's best to ignore her."

"I should probably get going," I said, stepping away from him and slinging my bag on my shoulder. I shut my locker and returned the lock.

"I'll see you at lunch," he said. I nodded and walked away.

I had a little time before class and I headed towards the bathroom. Two seconds after I got in there, someone pushed me to the ground. I felt the skin breaking on my hands as I fell to the cement floor. I turned around and saw Claire and the two girls hovering over me. I stumbled standing up, noticing they had me backed into a corner.

"Wh-what do you wa-want?"

Claire laughed. "Aw, she's sccc-cared."

I tried to hold back the tears as my eyes saw the hate. She poked a finger in my chest and emphasized each word with a poke. "You need to leave Jake alone. He's mine. I can make your life a living hell. Got it? You're nothing but garbage and Jake deserves better. He deserves someone like me not you."

"Okay," I said quietly, looking at the floor. She laughed and shoved me again before leaving. The bell rang making me tardy. I didn't care. I took my time in the bathroom. I splashed water on my face to refresh myself. My mood from earlier had disappeared and was replaced with an ominous cloud hanging inches from my head.

I walked slowly to class, digging my nails in my hand, so I could feel physical pain over the emotional pain. I didn't even try to pay attention and my teacher noticed. I didn't answer when she called on me. I just turned the volume up on my iPod.

I felt torn. Everything my mom ever said to me slammed into my like a cannon ball. Seeing the hate in Claire's eyes brought it all back full force. Between that and the past few days with Jake, Drake and my dad, I felt like I was being tugged between believing my mom or the guys. I tried not the think about it as I sat down at the lunch table. I bit my lip and stared at my food.

"Emily?" I looked up to see Jake sitting across from me. "Everything okay?" I avoided his eyes, just in case. I didn't speak because I didn't trust what would come out. Instead I opted for shaking my head. He stood, walked around the table and sat beside me. "Em, what's the matter? Claire?" He asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and bringing me to him.

I didn't answer him and he took that as a yes. His voice came out in a stern whisper. "Claire is just jealous. Either way, it doesn't matter. Anything bad anyone could think about you wouldn't be true. Emily, you have to believe that. Otherwise, you won't ever be...well, you."

"You...you don't know what she said, what she did."

He looked at me curiously, waiting for me to continue. "What'd she say?" He asked quietly. I told him about what happened in the bathroom and he was outraged. "I can't believe her. I'll be right back," he said standing up.

I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Claire."

"Jake," I objected, but he walked off anyway. I watched him as he motioned for the person next Claire to move. He sat beside her and her face lit up upon seeing that Jake was looking at her. She glanced my way with success written all over her face. Jake curled his fingers under her chin, as he has done to me so many times. He made her look at him.

I saw his lips moving and the anger that covered his face. I didn't know what he was saying, but Claire objected to it by flailing her hands.

She set him off because abruptly he stood and yelled, "I don't want you! You're a self-centered bitch who hates on people you know nothing about. So drop it!"

He stormed over to my table and plopped into his seat. The entire cafeteria was quiet. Even the teachers seemed speechless. "Well, I feel better. Do you?" Jake asked, his deep voice echoing in the cafeteria.

I shook my head. Claire jumped out of her seat and ran out. The cafeteria began to mumble with voices talking over what happened. "Jake," I said cautiously. His outburst had scared me. "Why did you do that?"

"She deserved it. She knows nothing about you Emily and she shouldn't do that to you."

I shook my head. "You don't get it." I picked up my full tray and tossed it in the trash on the way out.

"Emily," Jake called after me. He followed me out into the hallway and called my name again.

I stopped and turn around. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is you scared the hell out of me. What's wrong is you talked to her just like my mom talked to me. I don't care what kind of person she is, she didn't deserve that. I don't want to be around someone who can talk like my mother. I can't deal with this right now." I turned and headed for the double doors that led to my car.

"Em, I'm sorry."

I didn't turn around. I didn't stop. "Jake, pick Drake up for me, will ya?" I heard him say yeah as I pushed open the door. I ran to my car and sped off towards my house.

My mind was so muddled. I drove all the way across the county and back. After thinking it through, I was still no closer to any conclusions. All I knew was that I wanted to feel like I did this morning all the time. I knew that I didn't want to be around people like my mother. One outburst didn't make Jake like her, did it?

I called my dad once I got home. "Hey, hon, what's crackin'?"

I laughed and said, "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second."

"Sure. You have my full attention." I explained to him what happened and asked him what he thought about Jake. "I think you need to talk things over with Jake. He was angry and didn't keep control of his anger. Just tell him how you feel and things will settle like they should."

"You're right," I said feeling a bit better.

"Of course I'm right," he said.

I gave a small laugh. "Thanks, Daddy."

"No problem, honey. I'm just glad that you came to me." I smiled and hung up.

14

Jake

After school, I picked up Drake and headed to the house. Although I told my dad the other day about us being gone, I wanted to remind him. He was sitting in the recliner already shit-faced. This was ridiculous. I sat on the couch and he didn't even acknowledge my presence. "Dad?"

"Yeah," he slurred.

"I just wanted to let you know that Drake and I will be back around eleven or twelve."

"Where are you going?"

I sighed, "We are going to Raleigh to the hockey game." He nodded and continued to drink his beer. "Dad, you need to quit drinking so much and live your life," I began but he cut me off.

"You killed her! You think I can just go on with my life when my love is dead and it's my son's fault?"

"I'm sorry! She would've died someday, Dad! She had cancer; she would have died by now anyway! The only thing I could have done was help her stay here a bit longer, so I didn't kill her!" I screamed.

He threw his beer at me, but narrowly missed. "You don't know that! Chemo could have kept her here. It could've killed that cancer!" He yelled angrily with tears streaming down his face.

"Dad, she hated chemo and you know that. At least now she's not in pain. You know what, Dad? The only reason I am trying is because Drake wants his dad back, but I guess that won't happen!" I stormed upstairs, got Drake, and left the house. I drove around to cool off before going to Emily's.

I guess it was better for him to drink his life away and let Drake go without a father than to suck it up and move on like we had done. I slammed my palm against the steering wheel. Damn him! Yeah, maybe I could have saved my mom so she could live a little longer, but the cancer would have eaten away at her and she would've died anyway.

I took a deep breath and told the silent Drake that things would be okay. He quietly let me know that he didn't think I hurt our mom in any way. "Thanks, buddy."

I turned left to go Emily's. I knocked and she yelled for us to come in. I walked in and saw her sitting on the couch. Drake ran and sat beside her. I didn't know how she felt after what happened today, so I sat in one of the recliners. Emily lit up as she was talking with Drake who was filling her in on his day. I saw him lean into her and whisper something that made her laugh.

What am I going to do to fix things? I mumbled something about getting a drink and headed to the kitchen. I heard laughing in the living room. I fixed a glass of Pepsi and walked in the living room to see what looked like a tickle war with Drake and she was clearly winning.

"Jake! Help!" Drake yelled in between laughs.

As I came closer, Emily said, "Don't even think about it, Jake."

"He's my brother, Emily," I told her, placing my glass on the coffee table. I reached out and tickled her stomach without worrying if she was okay with that. She released Drake and fell onto the couch. I took a chance and straddled her. I told Drake to get her. I held her arms above her head with one hand and put a tickle attack on her with the other. Drake attacked her stomach too. She was laughing nonstop and begging us to stop. I laughed and told her, "Not a chance."

She was squirming underneath me with her hips grinding against me. "Jake, Drake, please stop."

If she didn't quit moving under me, I was going to go crazy. "Alright, Drake, stop."

He retreated and plopped into the recliner. Emily was trying to catch her breath and glared at me. I burst out laughing and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips without thinking. She tensed under me. "Sorry," I mumbled getting off of her.

She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Drake turned his attention to the TV and Emily quietly asked to speak with me in the kitchen.

Pain struck my heart to hear that voice return. I followed her into the kitchen and leaned against one of the counters as she hopped onto the counter on the other side of the room. "I want to talk about today. Jake, you really scared me. I can't have that kind of energy around me. I won't have it. I don't think this is going to work."

The whole time she was speaking, her voice was low and she avoided looking at me. I crossed the room and turned her head towards me. Her eyes were watery and she closed her eyes just as a tear fell.

I wiped it away. "Em, I'm so sorry. I was just so angry that someone would talk to you like that after all you've been through."

"So you think it's right for you to speak like that to someone else?"

I shook my head. "No. Look, I'm sorry. You'll never have to see that again. I promise. I won't ever do it again. Just please don't kick me out of your life."

She leaned forward and rested her forehead against mine. "Okay," she said quietly.

I wrapped my arms around her with relief coursing through me. I kissed her lips tenderly. I took her hand and we went to the couch to watch TV with Drake while we waited on Mike.

Mike walked in, greeted us and tugged at his tie, saying, "I need to change. After that, we should be good to go." A few minutes later he returned and asked, "Alright, who is ready to go to the hockey game?"

"I am! I am," Drake yelled to Mike.

He laughed and told Emily to go get the tickets.

She ran into the kitchen and returned moments later with four tickets. "Let's go," she said. We stood and walked through the kitchen and to the garage. "We'll take my car," Emily said.

She got in the driver's seat and Mike told me I could sit up front.

"No, no. That's fine. You can."

"No, you go ahead. I'll sit in the back with Drake." I nodded and got in the passenger seat.

Then we were off. Raleigh was about an hour and a half away. Conversation moved from school to hockey to girls Drake liked at school to music. I learned that Emily was a country music gal, but that she liked pop and rock too. A lot of her favorite singers were "hot" as she said. Seeing her comfortable, laughing and talking, just set my attraction for her skyrocketing.

Finally, we were at the RBC Center and, after parking, we followed the crowd into the building. We waited in the security line and passed through a few minutes later. We walked around until we found our section and then had our tickets checked by the woman guarding the entrance.

She let us through and we went down the stairs until we reached our row. We were maybe ten rows back from the glass and we were behind one of the goals. We took our seats with it being Mike, Drake, Emily, and then me. The air was cool and it felt refreshing compared to Emily's hand, which was hot in mine. The game was going to start in about fifteen minutes and Drake was beyond excited. He talked nonstop about how cool it was that he was here.

Emily was bubbling with excitement as well. I guessed she was ready to see her man. She was wearing a Penguins t-shirt with Crosby's name and number on the back. She was one of very few in the building not wearing red. Soon enough, the players came out and skated around the rink to warm up.

Emily squeezed my hand when she caught sight of Crosby. "It feels so good to be back here again," she told me. I smiled and thanked her for bringing us along.

It didn't take long before her attention was back on the ice and her eyes were following Crosby around the rink. Did Emily's eyes follow me around when she came to watch me play? I hoped so. We stood as some girl came out to sing the national anthem. When she got to the "rockets red glare" part, everyone in the building screamed "RED!" as was Canes tradition.

Then the game started. Emily didn't seem to care if she drew attention to herself. When the Pens did something good or scored, she showed her support by yelling, cheering, or clapping. A few of the people around us sent a glare her way when she did.

The score was 1-1 when the first period finished. Emily looked over at me and smiled. "Let's make a bet," she suggested.

I leaned towards her. "What kind of bet?"

She giggled and said, "Twenty bucks says the Pens will win."

"Twenty bucks says the Canes will win," I countered. She held out the hand I wasn´t holding and we shook on it.

"I'm going to be twenty dollars richer by the end of the night," she told Drake and Mike.

"You wish," they told her.

"Crosby won't let me down," she said looking me in the eye.

"Neither will I," I told her. Mike and Drake left to go buy drinks and I leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I meant to tell you earlier, but I didn't get the chance."

"What is it?"

She locked her eyes with mine and put on a serious face. "Don't ever tickle me again."

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. "Oh, c'mon Em. It was fun!"

She shook her head and said, "For you and Drake!"

"You can't tell me, you didn't like it at all."

She smiled and gave me a sexy look. "There was one part I liked." She patted my leg.

I didn't get a chance to say anything because Mike and Drake returned with a Dr. Peppers for us.

Emily returned her attention to the game once the second period started. The Canes scored twice and the Pens only once, making the score 3-2.

During the second intermission, Emily talked with Drake who was having a blast.

Twenty minutes later, the third and final period started. No one scored until the last five minutes when the Pens tied the score. Emily was trying to contain her excitement when they scored again with two minutes left.

"The game isn't over until the buzzer sounds," I reminded her.

"There's no way the Canes will score." It turned out she was right and boy did she tell me. "Told ya I would be twenty bucks richer, which means I was right!"

I chuckled and we get up to leave. Emily was practically skipping to the car. She jumped onto my back and I toted her to the car. She kissed my neck and repeated that she won.

"Okay, okay. I know you won."

She giggled and she hopped off since we were at the car. "Hey, Dad, why don't you drive and Drake sit up front?" He hesitated for a moment, but Emily tossed him the keys and got in the back. I shrugged my shoulders and followed her. Drake, who was happy from going to an NHL game, was even happier to sit up front.

When we get on the road, Emily moved to the middle, buckled up, and pulled my arm around her shoulders. She leaned on me and rested her hand on my thigh. "I'm so tired," she yawned. In my arms, all of her excitement left and fatigue replaced it. Ten minutes down the road, she was asleep.

"Thanks again, Mike," I said.

"No problem. It was worth it to see Emily like that."

"Yeah, it was."

Drake fell asleep soon after. The ride to Emily's house was silent with the exception of the radio playing softly. I leaned my head against Emily's and closed my eyes, enjoying her in my arms.

The ride home ended too soon and I woke Emily up. She gave me a kiss good-bye and I carried Drake to my car.

"Bye, guys," I said as I headed to my car. Emily waved goodbye. I set Drake down in the passenger seat and we went home.

The school day could not end fast enough. Drake was going to spend the night at a friend's and I was picking Emily up at six thirty. I raced home after school and showered. I had to get Drake packed and to his friend's house.

"Jake! Quit rushing me. I've got time," Drake complained.

I let him be and went back to my room. While I waited for Drake to get ready, I cleaned up my room until it was spotless. "Jake! Let's go!" I grabbed my wallet and keys and we were off.

Having to walk Drake in and make small talk with the boy's mother seemed to go on forever.

Finally, I was on my way to see Emily. I pulled up and knocked on the door.

Mike answered. "Hey, Jake. C'mon in. She'll be out in a second." I followed him into the living room and took a seat. "How's your day been?" Mike asked.

"Long," I said with a smile.

"Hey, Jake." I looked up to see Emily. Instead of her usual loose fitting shirts, she was wearing a fitted pink shirt that outlined her figure and dark blue Capri's.

I stood and walked over to greet her. Her shoulder length hair framed her face and I saw that she was wearing eyeliner and mascara. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and softly breathed hello. I took her hand and asked her if she was ready.

She nodded and I said goodbye to Mike. "Don't stay out too late," he called over his shoulder.

"I won't," Emily assured him.

I opened the car door for her and she slid in. I jogged around and got in. Cranking the car, I backed out and headed towards Wilmington.

Once we reached the stop sign at the end of Emily's road, I parked the car. "What are you doing?" She asked.

I looked over at her, placed a hand behind her neck and brought her to me. I gave her a slow passionate kiss. When I released her, I told her, "You look beautiful, you know that?" A blush burned her cheeks and she mumbled a thanks. Taking the car out of park, I continued to our destination.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Emily asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Wilmington."

"Well, I figured that." She laughed.

I grinned. "We are going to an undisclosed location. Where would the fun be if I just told you? Just know that we are going to have a fun, carefree night." I reached over and took her hand.

Her hand sat inside of mine. She felt fragile, but I knew that was far from the truth. Underneath the damage her mom had done to her, she was strong. Emily lifted up my hand and brought it to her lips, placing a soft kiss there before returning our hands to her lap. After a few silent moments, I asked her about her day.

"It was okay. I don't have homework this weekend, so that's great. I've been feeling a little off all day though."

"What do you mean?" I asked with concern.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. How about you? How was your day?"

"Antagonizing. I've been waiting all day to have you to myself out in the open instead of in my bedroom."

She looked over at me with a sly look. "What's so bad about hanging out in your bedroom?"

"Nothing. Just that now we get to go out."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" She asked softly.

"What? Us? Of course. Em, I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't want to be. I wouldn't walk out in the cold in the middle of the night just so I could spend some time with you. You've got to believe me when I tell you that there is no other place I rather be right now." I squeezed her hand and saw her smile at me.

"Okay. It's just that sometimes I don't believe that you would want to be with me."

This time, I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed it softly. "I do," I told her. I glanced over at her and saw another smile. We sat in comfortable silence for about five minutes before Emily started asking for clues about where we were going. "Well, it's a lot of fun."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Of course it will be! I'm going with you so that clue doesn't count. Give me another one."

I chuckled and said, "Hmm. You have to wear a certain kind of shoes."

Emily thought for a second and then asked, "Are we going bowling?" I nodded and she continued, "So that's what the pair of socks was for? Well, why did you tell me to wear flip flops?"

"That is not going to be revealed until later." She seemed content with that and found a station playing something she liked before turning the radio up a bit.

Twenty minutes later, I parked my car at the bowling alley. I went around and opened the door for Emily. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to me as we headed inside. "I've got mad skills, you know," I told her.

She laughed and said, "I always play with gutter rails just so my score will be better."

"No gutter rails today. Oh! I almost forgot." I reached in my pocket and handed over the twenty bucks I had lost to her in our bet last night.

A smile took over her face and she stuffed it in her pocket. "Thank you."

I chuckled and shook my head before we headed to the counter. I bought two games and we got our shoes before heading to our lane. Emily pulled out a thin pair of socks from her pocket and removed her feet from her flip-flops. I slipped my shoes off and replaced them with the bowling shoes. I stood, entered in our names, and then we headed to the counters behind us to pick out our balls.

"Ready?" I asked her once we returned to our seats. Emily nodded and I went first. The ball went a little to the left, but I still got a strike. "Yes," I said, pumping my fist in the air as I turned to Emily. I stepped down from where the floor was elevated and gave her a quick kiss. "That is how you bowl."

She laughed and walked around me. She stood in concentration for a moment and then rolled the ball down the lane. It headed right and knocked down a few pins. When her ball returned, she went back and knocked down the rest of the pins. "Your turn," she said with a smirk as she passed me.

I got up and bowled a strike.

On Emily's next turn she bowled a gutter ball each time. I tried not to laugh, but a chuckle escaped. She playfully backhanded me in the stomach, making me laugh more.

"Will you bowl already!" She exclaimed.

I grabbed my ball and knocked down six pins. The next one was a gutter ball.

On Emily's turn, she did the thing I least expected. She granny-rolled the ball. It traveled slowly down the lane, but it knocked right into the first pin and sent the rest crashing down.

I was standing just before the elevated portion of the floor and Emily came over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "That is how you bowl," she said with a kiss. I laughed and shook my head. "Hey, I like it up here," she said, noticing that she was taller now that I was standing on the lower level.

I laughed, gave her a quick kiss, and got my game on. The rest of the game, I bowled either strikes or spares. Emily continued to granny-roll the ball and got quite a few strikes. She did a little happy dance each time and the night was filled with laughs.

I won the first game and Emily won the second. We returned our shoes and headed to leave.

The bowling alley was connected to a strip mall and outside something caught Emily's attention. "Jake! C'mon!" She took my hand and broke off into a run down the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?" I asked just as she stopped in front of an ice cream place, Cold Stone.

"You've never been, right?" She asked. I shook my head and excitement took over her as we headed inside. "You sit right there and I'll be right back. You are going to love this place."

I did as I was told and watched her as she ordered. She seemed so relaxed talking to the girl behind the counter. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and my eyes travelled down her body, down to her shapely, fit legs and back up. She caught me watching and a blush took over her cheeks, making me smile.

Minutes later she walked over with two spoons and a waffle bowl dipped in chocolate and filled with ice cream. She sat down beside me and told me to dig in. I spooned some up and stuck it in my mouth as Emily took her first bite. Emily closes her eyes and moaned. It was really good.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. "Isn't it a piece of ice cream heaven?"

I grinned and said, "It sure is. What is it?"

"It's their birthday mix. It's my favorite." We ate the ice cream in silence with the exception of an occasional moan from Emily.

"Well, this certainly ruins my dinner plans," I said once we started eating the waffle bowl.

Emily looked at me with wide eyes. "Oops. I'm sorry, Jake." I laughed and told her that it was fine and that it only meant that we could skip ahead to part two of our date.

"Jake?" I looked over at Emily and she leaned in, kissing the corner of my lips and flicking her tongue out. "You had some chocolate," she said when she leaned back.

If I wasn't turned on the other night, I was now. Before she could lean back completely, I placed a hand behind her neck and pulled her to me. I kissed her, flicking my tongue over her lips to get her to open to me. She did and our tongues were moving with urgency. She sighed into my mouth.

I kissed her for a little bit longer before releasing her. She stared at me for a moment, and then it must have hit her where we were because she looked around at the adults giving us shocked glares. She picked up our trash and threw it away.

When she came back to the table, she held out her hand with a big smile on her face. "I'm most definitely ready for part two." With that, we returned to my car and left for our next destination.

15

Emily

That kiss was all I could think about on our way to wherever we were going. I had seen a change in Jake's eye after I got the chocolate off of his face. That kiss ignited a fire in the pit of my stomach that was still ablaze. Everything over the past few years just melted away and all that existed was Jake and those lips.

I saw that we were heading towards the beach. We weren't really going, were we? I saw that I was right when we parked at a public access.

"I thought we could walk down the beach to the pier," Jake said looking over at me. "We can just leave our shoes in here," he added, taking off his shoes and socks. I slipped off my flip-flops as he got out of the car and came to open my door. He held out his hand and I took it. We walked over the walkway and down to the beach.

The sand was cool beneath my feet. Jake tried to pull me out to the water. I shook my head, "Jake! It's going to be freezing!"

He laughed and said, "Okay. You're going to make me do this the hard way." He pulled me to him and picked me up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and begged him to let me down. "Jake! Please! It's going to be so cold!" All he did was laugh and walk closer to the water. He sucked in his breath as the water ran over his feet. I tightened my grip around his neck. "Jake! You will regret this," I warned him as he set me down.

I tried to resist, but he was stronger than I was and soon my feet touched the freezing water. I squealed and Jake laughed harder. He allowed me to run back to the cool sand and he followed me. I started walking down the beach, leaving him behind and hoping that he thought I was upset.

"Em, wait up," he said.

I kept my steady pace and he jogged to come up behind me. He grabbed me from behind and twirled me around. I let out a laugh and he set me down, turning me to face him. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled at me.

"How can I even pretend to be mad at you when you look at me like that?" I asked.

He leaned in, his lips brushing mine as he talked. "You are really beautiful standing in the moonlight with the ocean and stars behind you."

I involuntarily sucked in a breath, feeling his arms going around my waist and pulling me to him. I didn't know what to say so I decided to let my lips do the talking. I stood on my tiptoes and crushed my lips to his, wasting no time in deepening the kiss. I ran my fingers through his hair and down his neck, and then started the descent down his back. He groaned into my mouth and slid one hand up my back while the other made a trail of fire up my arm. The blaze in my stomach intensified, running throughout my body and slipping into my blood.

Reluctantly, I pulled away. I needed air, and I was afraid of what would happen if the fire inside took over me. That look in Jake's eyes from earlier had returned. "C'mon," I said, tugging his hand and walking towards the pier.

"Emily, sometimes you drive me insane." I glanced sideways at Jake, but he wasn't looking at me. Before I could say anything, he started talking again. "You've taken over my life and my mind. All I can think about is wanting to hold you in my arms and make sure nothing ever hurts you again. Then you kiss me like that, making my mind go into overdrive. It's... crazy. You're amazing, you know that?"

A blush took over my face and I was speechless. I wrapped my arm around his waist and gave a light squeeze that he returned. I leaned into him and we made the quiet walk through the soft, cool sand to the pier.

We walked up the steps and down to the end of the pier. Between the lights on the pier and the moon shining down brightly, we weren't in the dark. I placed my hands on the railing and Jake stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. The stars looked dim with the lights around us. Nevertheless, the scene before us was beautiful. The salty air and the waves crashing below us relaxed me.

I leaned into Jake and decided to ask a question that had been on my mind for the past few days. "Jake? Can I ask you a question?"

He kissed my neck and said, "Of course."

"Where's your dad? Like, Drake is always with you and you never mention him."

Jake sighed and was quiet for a few minutes. "The day my mom died, I didn't come straight home like I usually did. I wanted to hang out with the guys and, when I got home, I found her collapsed on the floor. She was already dead, but I tried to save her.

"My dad got home and found out I wasn't there when it happened. He was devastated and angry that she died alone. The blame was on me for not being there to save her. My dad started drinking heavily. He goes to work, comes home to get trashed, and then repeats it all the next day. I keep Drake with me because he doesn't need to be around that any more than he already is. Plus, with me he will be watched. Since then, Dad goes to work to make the money and I take care of everything else."

I leaned my head against his. "Oh, Jake. I'm so sorry."

"I'm used to it now. I just wish he would get over his anger and quit drinking. Drake misses him. Hell, I miss him."

"You don't blame yourself, do you?" I asked concerned.

"I did. Sometimes I still do."

I turned around in his arms and placed a hand on his cheek. He leaned into my hand and closed his eyes. "You can't think that. You didn't kill her. Her cancer took her. Not you. It's not your fault. She probably wouldn't have wanted you there when it happened anyway." A tear fell from his closed eyes and I wiped it away. He leaned his forehead against mine and I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. I waited for him to open his eyes and after a few minutes he did.

He gave me a soft kiss and said, "Thanks. Now let's enjoy this view, before we have to leave." He turned me around and placed his chin on my shoulder again.

We stood in comfortable silence and I felt closer to him than I did before. It said something when you could stand in silence with someone and be content with it.

I lifted his hand from my waist and looked at his watch. It was a quarter to ten. Wow, time had flown by. "We should probably head home," I whispered, not wanting that at all.

"Just a few more minutes," Jake said into my neck, kissing it softly. I leaned into him relishing the feeling of the security he gave me. Jake continued to adorn my neck with soft kisses that didn't last long enough.

"C'mon. I don't want to upset Mike," he said with a small smile.

I let him walk me down the pier, down the steps, and onto the beach. "This has been perfect," I told him. He smiled at me and I felt the flame inside me start up again.

"It has, hasn't it?" I wrapped my arm around his and hugged it to me keeping our fingers interlocked.

Too soon, we reached the walkway that led to Jake's car and we walked over the sand dunes, leaving the beach behind. Jake opened the door for me and I got in. My eyes followed him as he walked around the front and to his side of the car. Once he was inside and had the ignition on, I turned on the heat just now realizing how cold it was without Jake's body heat.

I took his hand and held it in my lap as we rode home. Every now and then, I kissed his hand or his knuckles. He would repeat the action on me each time I did so. I started to do it more frequently to see if he would keep going. He did and when he caught on to my game, he glanced over at me and chuckled firmly planting our hands against his chest.

I giggled and tried to bring them back to me, but his grip won't allow me to budge our hands. "Jake," I faked a whine.

"Emily," he said in the same tone. I couldn't help but laugh. I let it go since part of my arm was resting against his strong chest.

We pulled up at my house and I sighed. Jake chuckled, but still got out and opened my door. He walked me to the door and pulled me to him. "I had a fantastic time," he told me.

"Me too," I said, a little dizzy from the heat radiating from his body. I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a short, sweet kiss since the living room light was still on.

"I'll probably come by on Sunday. The guys want to hang out tomorrow, so I figure I had better do it before they start hounding me. If you want to come over tomorrow night, let me know and I'll be here."

I felt a twinge of disappointment at not seeing him tomorrow. He had become a regular occurrence in my everyday life. "Okay. Good night, Jake, and thanks for tonight."

He smiled and gave me another kiss. "Thank you. Sweet dreams, Emily."

I opened the door and went inside. I locked the door behind me, knowing that dad would ask me to anyway.

Dad was sitting on the couch and turned to look at me when I come in. "How was it?"

"Great." I walked up to the back of the couch and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm going to bed."

"Okay, honey. I'll check on you before I leave tomorrow."

I nodded and said good night. I went to my room, closing the door behind me. I leaned on the door and took a deep breath. A smile played on my lips as I pushed off the door, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed.

I woke up tangled in my covers. I bolted upright and tried to get them off of me even though I was freezing. I ran to the bathroom and promptly threw up. Oh gosh. I felt horrible. I brushed my teeth and saw that I was pasty looking. My eyes looked a little puffy and my hair was stuck to my neck. How was that? I was cold, not hot.

I grabbed a hair tie and threw my hair up to keep it from getting in the way in case I threw up again. I dragged my feet to my bed and fell on it. I covered up and was soon back asleep.

The next time I woke up, light was shining through the blinds and I immediately ran to the bathroom. I was vomiting when I heard my dad come in. "Emily?" I flushed the toilet, wiped my eyes, and rinsed out my mouth. I did not have the energy to brush them. "Are you okay?"

I looked at my dad and tried to smile. "Just sick, I guess."

He came to me and placed the back of his hand on my forehead. His eyebrows creased in concern. "You're burning up, honey."

"I'm fine. Go to work." I was not fine. My stomach ached and I was still cold.

"Honey, I can make arrangements to stay here with you."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine. Go. It's just a little bug." When I saw him hesitate, I took ahold of his shoulders and turned him around. "I'll be fine, Dad."

"Okay. I'll check in on you, okay?"

"Alright." My dad looked unsure, but I made a motion with my hand to shoo him out. He left. I went into my bathroom and picked up the empty trashcan that was lined with a grocery bag. I went back into my room and grabbed my pillow and comforter. I slowly made my way to the couch and got comfortable.

I found the remote, said goodbye to my dad after he brought me something for the fever, and turned on the TV. I snuggled under my covers and soon I was asleep. Sleep didn't last but an hour before I woke up. Between throwing up and feeling achy, I slept. That wasn't exactly how I had planned to spend my Saturday.

Around noon, I was watching Dirty Dancing when I heard a knock on the door. "Go away," I yelled. The knock came again and I groaned. I got up to answer the door with my comforter wrapped around me. I opened the door to see Jake and I groaned again. I looked just as bad as I felt and he had to show up! He smiled and asked to come in. I moved aside and lay back down. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm happy to see you too."

I rolled my eyes and felt the urge to throw up again. I lurched forward and made it just as I was over the trashcan. Great. Jake got to see me vomit.

The taste was disgusting in my mouth. I picked up the trashcan and went into the kitchen. Jake followed me. "So?" I asked, waiting. I took the bag out of the little trashcan and tied it. I opened the door leading to the garage and dropped it into the trashcan in there.

"Mike called and told me you were sick. He wanted me to check on you."

A groan escaped again and I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I drank until the taste left my mouth.

I looked Jake up and down. He looked good in his sweats and a black tee. I looked down at myself. My pajama pants were pink and covered with penguins and my tank top was black. Thank goodness it had a built in sports bra.

Jake took a step towards me and pushed away a loose strand of hair. "You look fine," he said

Again, I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure I do. You don't have to be here. Plus you are supposed to be with the guys," I reminded him, walking back into the living room. I sat on the couch and wrapped my blanket around me.

Jake takes a seat beside me. "Oh, they can wait. You're sick, Em. I have to nurse you back to health."

He stood up and went into the kitchen. I rubbed my hands over my face and returned my focus to the movie. I heard Jake rummaging through the kitchen, but I didn't feel like finding out what he was doing. A few minutes later, he returned with a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup.

"Jake, I really don't want that," I said.

He sat down beside me and gave me a look that told me I had better eat it. "Emily, it'll make you feel better."

I looked between him and the bowl. I reached out to take it and a grin settled over Jake's face. I let the steam travel over my face. Slowly, I ate my soup. After I finished, I couldn't tell if I felt better or more nauseous. Jake took my bowl to the kitchen and I drank some more water.

He came back and placed my pillow on his lap. "Lie down and rest," he commanded me.

I did as he said with pleasure. All I wanted to do was lay down. Jake slipped his hand under my comforter and ran his hand up and down my arm. Soon, sleep took over.

16

Jake

Emily's body was extra warm as she slept. When Mike called and told me she was sick, there was no doubt that I would come over. Seeing her when she opened the door, I could tell she didn't feel good. I kind of liked her sick. She had a grumpy side to her and it made me smile.

She rolled over and buried her face in my stomach. I moved my hand to rub her back. While she slept, I watched the rest of Dirty Dancing. I was afraid I would wake her if I reached for the remote on the coffee table. Another older movie came on. When that movie ended, Emily woke up. She clamped a hand over her mouth and ran for the bathroom. She had forgotten to bring the trashcan back in here. I followed her and checked on her.

After she rinsed out her mouth, she looked at me and said, "Fever means it could be contagious. Are you sure you want to be here instead of with your friends?"

I brought her to me and kissed her forehead. "Absolutely." We walked back into the living room and I asked her where the grocery bags were so I could bring her the trashcan.

"Thanks," she said when I place the trashcan in front of her. Before she lay down again, I grabbed the remote and placed her pillow over my legs. She lay down and brought her covers up to her neck.

I ran my hand up and down her arm again. I found George Lopez on and turned it to his show. It didn't take long before Emily fell asleep again. My focus switched from the TV to Emily. Even though she was sick, she looked peaceful while she slept. Her dark eyelashes stood out on her tan skin.

I used my other hand to trace the outline of her face. I couldn't help it. Her skin was softer than that of any other person I had ever touched. I could trail my fingers over her skin all day and be happy. It was that soft. She grumbled and rolled over to bury her face in my stomach again. I move my hand from her arm to her back. I pushed back the hair that was stuck on her face.

Seeing her like this, I realized I was in love with her. I smiled at the realization. She was mine and I intended to keep it that way. She might be unsure of herself sometimes, but she was amazing. Emily was letting go more and more each day of what her mother had said to her. She was beginning to trust herself and me. I wouldn't let her down either. It would break my heart to see her go back to being withdrawn.

I had seen her laugh, smile, and twirl in the rain. Emily was full of life, just like Mike said. I always wanted to see her that way. Her smile brought a smile to my lips every time. Knowing that sometimes I was the one who caused it made me even happier.

At the sound of the door opening, I turned my head to see Mike come in. He gave me a slight smile and took a seat in the recliner. "How's she doing?"

"She's been sleeping mostly. I got her to eat some chicken noodle soup, but she probably threw that back up." He nodded and then seemed to notice that her head was in my lap. He didn't comment on it though.

Mike stood up and walked over to us. He places a hand between my stomach and her forehead to check for a fever. "She doesn't seem as hot as earlier," he said as he sat back down. "Thanks for checking on her," he added.

"No problem." Emily stirred and rolled onto her back, opening her eyes. I smiled at her and got a smile in return. "How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"A little better."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Have you taken more medicine for your fever?" Mike asked. Emily sat up, just noticing him and shook her head. He walked down the hall to the bathroom. She rested her head on me and I wrapped an arm around her. She gave me an apologetic look.

"Em, don't look at me like that."

Mike came back and held the medicine out to her. She took it and downed it with water. Emily leaned back and rested on me. Her comforter kept slipping down so I tucked the ends behind her shoulders so it would stay in place.

"Thanks, Jake," she said. I answered her with a kiss on the top of her head. She sighed, "Hopefully, this is a twenty-four hour kind of thing."

I chuckled and said, "Hopefully."

After a few minutes, she lay back down. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your bed," Mike asked her.

Emily yawned and said, "Probably, but unless you're going to let Jake go back there, this will have to do."

He seemed to be considering it when Emily lurched and puked into the waiting trashcan. Mike took one look at her and said, "If that will make you more comfortable, then okay."

Emily drank some water and asked for more. I got up and got it for her. Emily stood, took her pillow, and headed to her room. With the water bottle and her comforter in hand, I followed her.

I left the door open because there was no reason to close it. Emily had already plopped into bed and I set the water on her nightstand before covering the bed with the comforter. I walked to the other side of the bed, slipped off my shoes, and crawled in. She held up the blankets so I could slide in next to her.

I wrapped my arms around her and her face buried in my neck. "Jake," she said.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for staying with me today."

"It was my pleasure. Thankfully Drake was invited to stay another night at his friends, so I'm free."

She hugged me closer to her and said, "You're like a furnace, you know?"

I chuckled and said, "I know." Then she fell asleep in my arms.

An hour later, Mike checked in and saw Emily sleeping. He hesitated and then said, "You can stay here tonight, if you'd like. I don't want her to wake up when you move away from her."

I knew wearing my sweats would be worth it. "Okay. Thanks." He nodded and went to his room. I kissed the top of Emily's head and fell asleep.

"Jake?" Emily whispered. I opened my eyes to see her looking at me. "What are you still doing here? Does my dad know?"

I gave a sly grin and said, "Yeah. He thought if I moved you would wake up, so he told me I could stay. How are you feeling?"

"A little better," she said snuggling up against me.

Waking up beside her was wonderful. "Are you hungry," I asked. She groaned and mumbled a no into my chest. I chuckled. "So this is what happens after I take you out on a date," I teased.

She looked up at me and said, "Maybe so. But look what happened because of it. You got to spend the night with me."

"That's right." I went to give her a quick kiss but she pulled away from me. "What?" I asked.

"I haven't brushed my teeth since yesterday and all I did was throw up. You aren't kissing me." She rolled away from me and got up.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," she said, like it was obvious.

I brought my arm behind my head and watched her brush her teeth. She walked over to me with a smile on her face. She lay down on top of me and kissed me. I wasn't expecting her to fully lie down on top of me. Not that I minded, but I just didn't expect it.

After the kiss, she rolled off of me and propped herself up on her elbows. "You definitely feel better," I told her with a smile. I put the back of my hand on her forehead and it felt cool.

She got under the blankets and I felt her hand slip under my shirt. I raised an eyebrow and she cuddled closer to me. Her hand went further up, she was just trailing her finger in swirls and driving me insane. "Maybe, we should just lie here all day," she said.

I kissed the top of her head, "Maybe."

I heard footsteps coming down the hall and soon Mike appeared in the doorway wearing a suit. "Good morning," he said and walked over to my side of the bed. "How are you feeling, honey?" He placed the backside of his hand on her forehead.

"Okay," she answered.

"You've lost your fever. That's good. If you don't need anything, I'm going to head to work."

"I'm fine, Daddy," she told him in a sweet tone. Her hand was still moving under my shirt and I wanted to grab it to stop her, but if I did that then Mike would know. Hurry up and leave!

"Alright, honey. If you need anything, just call me, okay?" She nodded and a few minutes later we heard the front door close. I grabbed Emily's hand and rolled over on her.

"Must you do that?" I asked, just inches away from her lips.

Giggling she asked a question of her own. "Does it bother you?"

I lay on my side, keeping her hand in place. With my free hand, I lifted up her shirt to expose her stomach. I trailed my fingers over her stomach barely touching the skin. "Does it bother you?" I asked with a smirk.

Her stomach fell in and she was trying not to breathe. I chuckled and leaned in to kiss her. She took the opportunity to grab my hand and intertwine our fingers. Her chest was pressed against mine and all I wanted to do was touch her all over.

I groaned and turned over on my back to get some air. Emily stared at the ceiling with her hands folded over her now covered stomach. I took a slow breath, trying to tame myself.

Looking at Emily, I saw her biting her lip. "What's going on in that head of yours," I asked her.

She turned her head to look at me. She thought about it for a second, but then her eyes went wide. Emily jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I threw the covers off of me and followed her. She was holding back the pieces of hair that had come loose. I went to her and held them back for her.

When Emily finished, she flushed and redid her ponytail. She brushed her teeth and made the comment that maybe she didn't feel that much better. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I watched her watch me in the mirror while she brushed her teeth.

"Maybe a shower will make you feel better. Why don't you take a shower and I'll fix you some more soup?"

She spat and rinsed out her mouth before answering me. "Okay, thanks Jake."

I kissed her neck and headed for the kitchen, hearing her turn the shower on. I fixed her soup and fifteen minutes later she returned wearing a white tank top and plain purple pj bottoms. Emily's hair was brushed back and still wet. As she sat down at the table, I placed a bowl in front of her and began to fix myself a ham and cheese sandwich.

"I do not want to go to school tomorrow, whether I'm feeling better or not."

"Why?" I asked.

"Oral report."

"You'll do fine."

"Maybe, but that doesn't make me any more willing to do it." I shook my head and took another bite of my sandwich.

My cell phone started vibrating in my pocket. I reached for it and answered, hearing Drake's voice. "Jake, can you come get me? I'm ready. Can we go see Emily today? Can we go get ice cream?"

"Calm down, buddy," I said with a laugh. "Yeah, I'll be right over. We can see Emily, but she's not feeling well. You will have to be extra good and watch TV, okay?"

"Okay. Are you leaving right now?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Bye, Jake. I love you."

"I love you too, buddy." I closed my phone and returned it to my pocket. I finished my sandwich and told Emily the plan. She kept eating slowly. I kissed her forehead when I got up and felt that it was warm again. "Take some medicine while I'm gone. You're fever is back." Emily nodded and I left to go get Drake.

When Mike came home around six, Emily and I were lying on the couch under her blanket and Drake was sitting in the recliner to the left of us. Mike checked Emily for a fever before sitting in the recliner to the right of us. Emily hadn't thrown up as much as she did yesterday and she seemed to be in better spirits.

I had constantly run my fingers down her neck, down her arm, and up her back. Every now and again, she would grab my hand and hold it in place for a few minutes. We had been watching cartoons all day because Emily insisted that Drake could watch whatever he wanted to.

Emily's cell phone buzzed from the side table. I grabbed it for her and saw the word Mom on the screen. I held it out for Mike to take and Emily rolled over to bury her face in my chest. Mike stepped outside to talk to her mom. Couldn't she just leave her alone? Emily's arms wrapped around me and she held on as if her life depended on it. Mike didn't come in until an hour later he had a grim look on his face.

"Em, I got to get Drake home," I told her softly.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered into my chest.

My heart cracked and I hugged her tighter to me. "I don't want to go either, but I need to get him fed and ready for bed. All you have to do is call me, okay?" She took a deep breath and released me.

She stood up so I could get up. Standing, I put my arms around her again and kissed her forehead. "If you need me, just call me." I told her again.

"I'll see you later," she whispered.

17

Emily

After Jake and Drake left, I let my dad keep my phone and I went to my room to lie down. Even though I didn't talk to my mom, it was all I could think about. What did she want now? What will she do next? I bit my lip and fell asleep full of worry.

I woke up the next morning still not feeling well, so I got to spend the day lying on the couch watching TV. On and off I slept and when seven thirty rolled around, Jake stopped by to see me. My dad informed me that he had to go out of town for the night. He offered to stay home, but I made him go. Jake offered to stay with me, but I made him go home too. Jake and Drake went home around eight thirty and Dad left a few minutes later.

It was just Jerry Springer and I for the night. Everything was peaceful until nine, then I texted Jake to see if I could go over to his house.

Of course, he replied. I grabbed my keys and drove over there.

He opened the door before I could knock. He greeted me with a kiss on the forehead and I took in his shirtless body and his gray pajama pants. He looked delicious. Drake was already in bed and his dad wasn't home. He led me to his room and I crawled into his bed. He climbed in and brought me to him. "How's it going, Sweetness?"

"As good as it can go, I guess." I buried my face in the crook of his neck. "Can I stay here tonight?" I asked quietly.

"Of course."

"Sweetness," Jake whispered his new nickname for me. I snuggled closer to him and he chuckled. "Time to wake up."

"No," I moaned. I looked up at him with his hair all messed up and he looked so good. I placed a kiss on his lips, just as Drake walked in.

"Emily? What are you doing here?" He asked, excitement filling his voice as he ran over and hopped into bed with us. He made his way between Jake and me.

"Drake," Jake began in a stern voice.

I cut him off, "I wasn't feeling well and I was home alone so I came to get your brother sick."

Drake laughed and said, "Are you going to start staying over more often?"

I glanced at Jake and he answered for me. "Mr. Mike probably wants her at home at night, Drake. Now get out of my bed and go get ready for school." He picked Drake up and placed him off the bed. Drake laughed and ran out of the room. Jake pulled me to him and gave me a kiss. I felt uneasy now that Drake knew that I spent the night in Jake's bed and Jake could tell. "Don't worry about it, Sweetness. He won't think much of it."

I nodded and rolled on top of him with a smirk on my face. "I'll see you later." I gave him a quick kiss and rolled off the bed. I slipped on my shoes and glanced over my shoulder at him before I left.

I ran into his dad downstairs, he was about to walk out the door. "Um, hi," I said when he saw me and froze in my steps.

"Are you one of Jake's whores?"

I gulped. "No, sir." He cackled like he didn't believe me and opened the door for me to walk out. I slinked by him and didn't look back. I got in my car and headed home.

I saw my dad's car in our driveway and wondered why he was home. There was no way I could sneak in. I walked through the garage door into the kitchen and saw him sitting at the table. He took in my rumpled hair and pajamas.

"What are you doing here so early, Daddy?" I asked innocently.

He gave me a stern look. "My trip got cancelled. Where have you been?"

I decided to tell him the truth. "I slept over at Jake's."

My dad slowly set his newspaper down, scooted his chair back, and walked over to me. He pulled me into a bear hug. "My little girl's back," he whispered. I couldn't help but laugh. He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. "But don't do that again."

I nodded and excused myself so I could get ready for school. I decided on a fitted green, low cut shirt and plain Jane blue jeans. I slipped on socks and shoes. I grabbed my book bag, cell phone, and keys. I waved goodbye to my dad and headed to school.

I parked my car and saw Jake a few spots down leaning against his trunk. I slipped my bag on my shoulder and walked over to him.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and gave me a kiss. "Hello," he said in a husky voice.

"Hey." I filled Jake in on how my dad was at home and what he said.

"So sneaking out and staying over at boys' houses is you being normal?" He asked with a smirk. I shrugged. That was normal for me. "How about we skip school today?" He suggested.

"No way. I can't do that," I told him.

Jake looked uncomfortable and I couldn't figure out why. "What's going on?" When Jake didn't speak, I said, "Never mind. Let's go to class."

I stepped around Jake and walked into the school. Everyone looked my way as I walked in and came to a halt. All over the lockers and hallways were pictures of me...naked. No. This couldn't be happening. How did someone get their hands on these? Who would want to do this to me?

I felt Jake behind me and he whispered in my ear, but I didn't hear him. I was in a state of shock and everyone in the entire school was staring at me. Jake turned me to him and cradled my face in his hands. Before he could say anything, anger took over. I knew exactly who had done this. I pushed him away and walked away.

I turned down a hallway and found Claire who was laughing at one of my pictures. I snatched it out of her hand. "How dare you? Do you think this is funny?" I turned and looked at the crowd forming around us. "Do any of you think this is funny? I had been repeatedly raped just before these pictures were taken and you are laughing at me?"

Jake came up and blocked my view. "Sweetness, just let it go."

"No," I pulled away from him and faced Claire. "You are unbelievable. I don't know how you got ahold of these pictures, but let me set this straight. I did not pose under my own free will. I hated getting these pictures taken of me. For you to think it is okay to share them..." I shook my head and closed my mouth. I was so close to becoming my mother. Jake took my hand and pulled me away.

The teachers who had started tearing the pictures down gave me apologetic looks. Jake walked me out of the school and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Sweetness."

"Don't worry about it. I just can't believe she thought any good could come out of that for anybody. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that."

"Don't be. I'm proud of you."

I looked up at him with confusion on my face. Jake chuckled. "You didn't retreat. You literally went and tackled the problem head on."

18

Jake

I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She placed a hand on the side of my face. "I think we should skip school today. Drake should too," Emily stated. I nodded and we left in our respective cars. I picked Drake up and we headed to Emily's. Drake was so excited about skipping school for the day.

At Emily's, Drake started talking about his day. Emily was holding my hand. She kept looking over at me and I smiled at her. "Jake! Emily! Pay attention," Drake whined. I turn my full attention to him as he told me that he had taken a test today and he thought he didn't do well.

"I'm sure you did fine," I reassured him.

We sat on the couch and watched TV for the rest of the evening. When Mike got home, she and I headed to her room for some alone time. We slowly made our way to the bed and sat, leaning against the headboard.

"What a day, huh?" Emily commented.

"Yeah." I took her free hand and lifted it to my lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm so happy with how you handled things today, Sweetness." I looked over at her and she leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was slow and filled with our emotions over what had occurred.

Breaking away from the kiss, Emily rested her head on my shoulder. "Jake," Emily said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. Really. Thanks for bringing me back to me. I don't know how I could have done it without you, Drake, and my dad."

"Aw, Sweetness. You did it yourself. You learned to believe in yourself again. We just gave you a little push."

"More like a shove," she chuckled. "Either way, thanks. I'm glad we got paired together for the project," she added.

"Me too, Emily. Me too." I was just happy to have Emily with me.

Lindsay Paige is the author of the Bold As Love series and Don't Panic. Sweetness is followed by I'm Yours and Whatever It Takes. Both are now available.

Learn more about Paige on her blog:

authorlindsaypaige.blogspot.com

