 
# Soaked

## Pamela Ann

### Contents

A Whirlwind Summer Romance Book List

Synopsis

Bartered

Acknowledgments

1. Hugo

2. Hugo

3. Hugo

4. Hugo

5. Isobel

6. Hugo

7. Isobel

8. Isobel

9. Isobel

10. Hugo

11. Isobel

12. Isobel

13. Isobel

14. Hugo

15. Isobel

16. Isobel

17. Hugo

18. Isobel

19. Isobel

20. Isobel

21. Isobel

22. Hugo

23. Isobel

24. Isobel

25. Hugo

26. Isobel

27. Isobel

Book 2 of The Encounter Trilogy

Synopsis

UNAPOLOGETIC

Unapologetic

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Prologue

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

//

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

//

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

//

Chapter 42

//

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

//

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

//

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

SAVAGE

Chasing Beautiful

Chasing Beautiful

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

~S~

Chapter 61

~S~

Chapter 62

Chapter 63

Chapter 64

~S~

~S~

Chapter 65

Chapter 66

Chapter 67

Chapter 68

Chapter 69

Chapter 70

~S~

Chapter 71

Chapter 72

Chapter 73

Chapter 74

Chapter 75

~S~

~S~

Chapter 76

Chapter 77

Chapter 78

~S~

Chapter 79

Chapter 80

~S~

Chapter 81

Chapter 82

~S~

Chapter 83

Chapter 84

Chapter 85

Chapter 86

~S~

Chasing Beautiful

Chasing Imperfection

87. Blake

88. Sienna

89. Blake

READ MORE...

The Torn Series

Prologue

Chapter 90

Chapter 91

~E~

Chapter 92

Chapter 93

Chapter 94

Chapter 95

Chapter 96

Chapter 97

Chapter 98

Chapter 99

Chapter 100

~E~

~E~

Chapter 101

~E~

~E~

Chapter 102

Chapter 103

Chapter 104

~E~

~E~

Chapter 105

~E~

Chapter 106

~E~

~E~

Chapter 107

~E~

~E~

Chapter 108

Chapter 109

Chapter 110

~E~

Chapter 111

~E~

~E~

Chapter 112

~E~

Chapter 113

~E~

Chapter 114

~E~

~E~

Chapter 115

~E~

Chapter 116

~E~

~E~

~E~

Chapter 117

Chapter 118

~E~

~E~

Chapter 119

~E~

Chapter 120

~E~

~E~

~E~

~E~

Chapter 121

~E~

Frayed

Frayed

Acknowledgments

Prologue

122. ...About a month ago...

123. Present

124. ...About a month ago...

125. Present

126. Trista

127. Trista

128. Taylor

129. Trista

130. Trista

131. Trista

132. Taylor

133. Trista

134. Trista

135. Trista

136. Trista

137. Trista

138. Trista

139. Trista

140. Taylor

141. Trista

142. Trista

143. Trista

144. Trista

145. Trista

146. Trista

147. Trista

148. Trista

149. Trista

150. Trista

Epilogue

I ♥️ Heart Sexy Reads

# A Whirlwind Summer Romance Book List

BARTERED

* * *

UNAPOLOGETIC

* * *

CHASING BEAUTIFUL

* * *

SCORNFULLY YOURS

* * *

FRAYED

# Synopsis

A woman could be... Everything. Anything. Nothing.

I was a connoisseur of beautiful things, women included. I had not just one, but three—all exotic, stunning and would do anything I asked.

My life was grand. It was perfect, and I was content with it all, until a little minx came along. The second our eyes clashed, giving me a glimpse of her violet blue depths that had a mixture of stubbornness and will, though with a hint of something else...

Choices were made. Decisions were done.

And, for the very first time in my life, I was challenged with something risky, igniting the animal in me.

# Bartered

### The Encounter Trilogy
**Pamela Ann**

**Bartered**

(The Encounter Trilogy)

**Copyright © 2014 by Pamela Ann**

**All rights reserved**.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without a written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

**Join & subscribe Pamela Ann's newsletter for updates, new releases and more: Newsletter**

# Acknowledgments

To my Poppets, most especially Sherry, Chantel and Louise—thank you for letting me use your names! And to the rest of the crew, your love and support for my work has helped me get through some tough times...when I'm emotionally and mentally drained. I can't thank you guys enough.

* * *

Ashley Suzanne, you've been such a true gem of a friend. Words can't be expressed enough...

* * *

To my editors, Kristin and Alizon, thank you for tolerating me. LOL. You ladies are beyond amazing.

* * *

Lastly, to the readers—none of this would be possible without your support. Your

encouragement and enthusiasm fills me with gratitude. Thank you for letting me pursue my passion.

* * *

Always yours,

Pamela Ann
_For Phillip..._

* * *

Your undying devotion, unwavering love

* * *

and ceaseless patience puts mine to shame.

* * *

Thank you for being the brilliant nonsensical all-around

* * *

person that's always been there for me.

## Chapter One

# Hugo

"Mr. Xavier, your presence is needed sir," Benoît, my head of security, prompted me the second I hung up the conference call I'd had from England.

I considered him a moment, pausing as I raised my brow, before responding to him with a curt question. "In regards to what?"

My life revolved mostly around work. It was the love of my life. _The Riviera_ had been in my family for generations. It was more than a five-star, luxury hotel that offered one of Europe's finest casinos; it was in a class of its own. It was a legacy that ran in my blood. It became my soul when I had nothing left going on with my life.

_This_ was all I possessed.

The power.

The prestige.

The privilege.

Benoît cleared his throat before answering me with his own raised brow, "It's about Miss Dana Bateau, sir. One of the cleaning ladies found her in your library, trying to open your safe." He paused before sharply adding, "Sir."

Dana... trying to open my safe... She's been with me for over six months, so was this her first attempt? Or the first time she had ever gotten caught?

I met her through Javier; a man I socialized with yet never welcomed in my circle of trusted friends. Come to think of it, I didn't have friends. I had partners, associates, acquaintances, but never friendships. I didn't trust a lot of people, and the ones I did were a puny, trusted circle. Dana obviously wasn't in it.

"Where is she now?" I calmly asked as I turned my attention back to the screen, staring at the message that was before me while I waited for Benoît to continue.

"She's being held in the villa, sir. We're waiting for your orders."

"Hmm," I murmured nonchalantly before getting up and striding to the vast glass that covered the entire wall looking down on the night beauty of the lights of Monaco. "Wait for me downstairs. I need a moment." Gently barking out an order, I didn't move until I heard the soft shut of the heavy oak door before strolling towards the marbled table for my humidor. Cuban cigars were lined accordingly. Precisely. Just like my life—it was a well-oiled machine. Although, from time to time, one would find some problems. The imperfections. Like Dana.

Plucking one out of the leathered case, I reached for my ivory encrusted cutter. It was a present from one of my lovers; one of the few gifts I truly enjoyed. The ivory tusk it had come from wasn't the byproduct of a poacher—or such was Evangeline's promise. She'd said it was from her elephant pet who had become horribly ill and they'd had to end her life. She'd loved the pet so much that she wanted me to have something beautiful that had meaning. She was one of the tribal African princesses, so I didn't question her. _Surely princesses didn't lie?_ I thought with amusement as I recalled her stating the same thing. She was a woman of beauty and quick wit. I admired that about her. It was unfortunate when we ended our relationship because she was due to marry someone of high ranking from her country.

Lighting my cigar, I thought of Dana and the contents of the safe. The items in there were of value, however they were of no importance in regards to anything vital—those were kept in a place where no one could access it other than myself.

Taking a long draw, I was leisurely exhaling the smoke as I savored the smooth taste it left on my tongue when I heard another knock. Angered that someone dared knock on my door when I had given orders not to be disturbed other than by Benoît, I practically growled in response.

"What?"

I heard the man himself clear his throat before breaking more news. "There's another urgent matter, sir."

" _Merde!_ " It was barely noon and this day had led more surprises than Bastille Day. "Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé?" (What's happened?)

I wasn't known for my temper, nor did I often display it, most especially to the people I employed, but for the past week after that short and curt meeting I'd had with my father, I'd been on a short fuse, about to explode like a ticking time bomb to whomever stepped on my wrong foot.

Father kept reminding me of the oath I had taken. Each year was the very same speech, and it wasn't as if I was going to ever forget my vow. Yet every year, on the very same day, he visited to make sure I was in check—that I wasn't being reckless, as he sarcastically put it.

Reckless wasn't part of my anatomy, however the old man persisted. Though I couldn't lay the blame on him; we both weren't at fault that we had been cursed. It had caused my father tremendous pain and suffering, and his "yearly reminder" was done out of love with a hefty amount of caution. It was a curse we both grieved and would endure until we left this earth.

Benoît came into view, seeming undeterred from my outburst. "It's a matter of a Class A client, sir. He was caught counting cards, and when security detained him, it showed he had insufficient funds to reimburse the checks."

Money made the world go fucking round and round, just as it did with mine.

"How much does he owe?"

"Three hundred thousand euros," he uttered without a blink.

"C'est des conneries!" (This is bullshit!) "This man owes me three hundred thousand euros, and he still managed to get inside my casino to gamble some more—, _and security didn't flag him?_ "

"The finance department wasn't notified until an hour ago. The security team wouldn't have known that, Monsieur Xavier. Our men follow protocols, never fear of that."

They did. Of course, he was right. He was the one who made sure everything was perfect. Batard.

"Where's this man now?"

"He's in one of the rooms next to the finance office, Monsieur."

"Meet me in the casino in the elevator lobby in ten minutes." I nodded, nose flaring as I put down my cigar, wondering how unlucky I was to be dealing with such bullshit so early in the morning.

## Chapter Two

# Hugo

"My daughter—she'll work the debt off," the man before me said in such a temperamental tone it somehow set me off like a rocket.

"I beg your pardon? I don't do this sort of negotiation, Monsieur Callas—you must be mistaken." This pompous ass of a man was telling me that his daughter— _his very own daughter_ —was to pay off his debts. What a disgrace! The likes of him didn't deserve any love and support from a daughter he would unthinkably offer like they were chopped meat from a butcher's stall.

My subtle decline of his "generous" offer seemed not enough to get my point across because he pulled out his phone before sliding it towards me. "She's willing to pay the debt off for me, _if_ you let me walk out of the door without charges."

_Mon Dieu!_ This man was beyond appallingly dense. "And what do you suppose she'd do, Monsieur Callas? I am fully staffed. Paying off three hundred thousand euros would take her years—I don't have such time to waste. I'm running an empire, _not_ a trade show." I ignored the phone before me, unwilling to even consider the most absurd of ideas.

This wasn't the first time a man had written bad checks. In fact, this sort of atrociousness happened all the time. Rich men who couldn't afford to bankroll their expensive lifestyle anymore were willing to auction off their best assets; heirlooms, paintings, cars, yachts—name it, I'd taken them all. I was ruthless in the business arena and every time a man offered their wife or daughters to "pay the debts off," not only was I harder to negotiate for terms after, but I simply lost respect for them as a person, as a man.

A knock on the door interrupted us.

" _Oui_?" Barking at the mahogany door, I loosened my tie as I felt my temper rising. Truly, this day was outrageous.

"His daughter is here, sir. She's requesting to see her father." Benoît's voice came through the slit of the slightly ajar door.

"Merde!" I muttered through my gritted teeth as I glared at the overly confident man before me. "You invited her here?" I said accusingly.

Dark, detached eyes met my own. "I alerted her the second the security team asked me to step aside. She lives close. Besides, you might find her a gem."

This was becoming a circus. Was this man's gambling a family affair then?

"Let her in—" _This better be worth my time_ , I thought the second the words left my lips.

Constantin Callas was known to be a brash, unscrupulous womanizer and a degenerate gambler. This was the first time I had met the man, and I disliked him on the spot.

Both of our heads turned towards the door when we heard it creak open. Upon entering, a slim figure of a woman with ink black hair and the most fascinating eyes with a small, delicate face captured my undivided attention, striking me like I had never been before in my life. My throat and my groin constricted at the same time, spellbound by the beauty and confidence she exuded. What a sight she was....

"I apologize for interrupting your meeting, Mr. Xavier, but my father said it was urgent I join you both." Her voice was soft, yet it hinted of enough force to mean she was to be taken seriously. Well, the woman walked into the right room because things truly just became serious.

"Leave us," I commanded, eyes unwavering at her while the rest of the party in the room, including her father, started to retreat behind the doors. The moment I heard silence, I decided I wanted a better view, therefore I stood up, face not giving away my thoughts, as I sized the would-be prize. My eyes roved over her delicate figure, admiring her beguiling beauty. "What's your name?"

Her eyes snapped to mine, enthralling me for a second. A heartbeat. "Isobel," she stated proudly as those blue eyes with hints of violet struck me within. It was immediate. The rush so potent it left me reeling. I felt it in my gut, fueling the heated fire in my groin all the way to my cock.

"Isobel," I tried her name on my lips, unsure what to make of it. "So... Isobel... _What_ are you doing here?"

She met my gaze, brazen and painstakingly beautiful. "I'm here to help my father."

Ah, the old man. He was a man who knew quality, and he was certain I would get entranced the moment I laid eyes on his daughter. He knew how to bargain, I'd have to give him credit for that.

"How do you plan to help your father, Isobel?" I raised my brow, wanting to see where and how far she'd take this conversation. "Three hundred thousand euros is not a small number."

Determined, she only lifted her chin at me. "I can work for you—be a secretary, a cook, a companion," she rasped out. "I could be whatever you like..." She trailed off at the last bit of the sentence.

My mouth quirked when she couldn't utter what she truly meant. No, she didn't blush, but I could tell it made her uncomfortable. As it should. No right-minded woman should offer herself to pay off her father's debts.

"I have three girlfriends—well, two at the moment." I retracted the second I recalled what Dana had been up to. "I can get a woman without having to pay her that hefty amount."

She looked confused then panicked when my words finally sunk in. "Please, Mr. Xavier— _I beg you_ —I can fill in the third position."

She seemed desperate, making me more curious as to why she was doing this. There had to be a good reason. "Now, why would I do that? Do you have any special skills to please me that Sherry and Chantel can't do?"

Beautiful eyes blinked blankly at me. "No." She shook her head dejectedly. "I do not."

Gazing at her luminous skin, I felt almost tempted to touch it before common sense took over. "Very well. So tell me again, _why_ should I hire you?"

"Because you're a good man, and you'd take pity on me." Her voice was strained. "My father is a hard man, and I'm sure you have no ounce of remorse towards him, but my brother and I—my brother most especially needs him. If father decides to cut him off from his monthly allowance from my grandfather's estate, things could get very ugly and difficult for the both of us."

"So you're saying you're willing to sell your body to secure your brother's lifestyle and yours? Did I get that right?"

My heart turned cold. How often did I see these demure, beautiful women and think them angelic, only to be proven wrong when they turned out to be after one thing? Money was a powerful thing to behold. It turned gentle souls to cruel, ruthless beings. It bred selfishness and greed, but most of all, it propelled more evilness in this world. And yet, without it, there would be no system. It was disappointing to learn Isobel was in the same pond as the rest; however, I couldn't really say I was shocked by her admission. After all, if your father was Constantin Callas, could one really expect more of you?

She opened her cherry glossed lips to protest, but shut them instead and made a small nod, agreeing to everything I threw at her. "I suppose, if you put it that way, then yes, I am selling myself to you."

There was something in her voice that tugged at me, as if her sadness was something I should take notice of... care for. It was odd.

Remaining mum, I strode towards the silver tray, took the carafe, and poured myself some red wine. "Would you like some?" I offered before taking a sip, eyes still watching her, taking in every expression that crossed her beautiful face.

Biting her bottom lip, she shook her head to decline my offer before stepping closer to me, brows furrowing. "What will happen to my father?"

Precisely like the rest. Since the fool didn't want to offer anything else apart from her, it said a lot about him and how much he cared for his children. Some people weren't fit to be parents. But that problem wouldn't ever be mine. I supposed I could be grateful for that.

Gazing into the remaining liquid in my glass, I paused before answering her. "He's going to jail. As expected."

"No. No. Please—help me," she persisted. "Let me be at your disposal. I promise I won't let you down."

_Very well. I shall test her resolve..._ "Come tonight. And no, I won't do anything to you, but I want you to watch how I take a woman. Then you can decide if this is something you want."

She licked her lips before nodding nervously at me.

Striding towards the door, I gave her one last, lingering look. "I'll have someone come get you tonight. Until then... Isobel."

## Chapter Three

# Hugo

At exactly midnight, she entered my bedroom, joining Sherry and Chantel just as I had requested of them. Both of my women were beautiful, but there was something about Isobel that stirred a far more formidable reaction within me. Possibly it could be due to the mere fact that didn't come to me as a willing woman. She was desperate to fix her father's crucial problem; consequently she had to sacrifice herself like a lamb to be at my disposal.

Be that as it may, though my principles protested, there was something about the thought of having a reluctant woman forcing herself to open up to a man she barely knew because of an obligation. It was twisted at its best, but the appeal fired my nearing boredom of my usual tastes.

Apart from her beauty, Isobel was different. My cock was certain of it.

I liked aggressive, sensual women, and she was plainly the opposite of that. She had a way about her that gave away the veil of innocence even though she masked it as much as she could. The animal in me wanted to strip it bare—literally and figuratively—and lavish on her unmarred innocence. I felt compelled, driven to be the very man to unleash her into a world full of sensuality, rutting into unparalleled mating.

Staring lustily at her beauty, I saw she had changed her clothes into a demure, black dress while Sherry and Chantel both wore silk robes, ready at a snap of my fingers.

_"Mon chéri,"_ Sherry rasped out as she brazenly strode across the room, bridging the gap before us while the other two stayed back, waiting... watching. My beautiful, blonde, seductive woman gave me a whisper soft kiss before she slowly started to take my clothes off, starting with my silk tie. "We're here to make you feel better."

My cock alarmingly didn't salute to her soft caresses. Sherry was my main lover. She'd been with me for about five years, and in those years never had this ever happened to me. My cock worshipped her, yet tonight, her voice and her soft touch didn't feel enough.

My hunger was thriving for more...

_For Isobel._

However, I had made the promise earlier that I wouldn't do anything to her. I meant to keep the vow even though I'd end up blue and frustrated. A man of my word was what I was known for, but tonight, my passionate nature tempted to overrule my senses.

Needing more of a distraction before my mind wandered off to the inevitable, I snapped my hard gaze towards my other lover. One look was enough command to have her coming to her heels, naked in a blink of an eye as she abandoned her robe without thought.

"Mon Roi." (My King.) She seductively smiled at me then got on her knees and slid the rest of my clothing off my body before I felt Sherry's lips on the back of my neck, breasts pressing against the expanse of my back as her nails dug into the skin of my buttocks.

Across the room, I heard Isobel's sharp intake of breath just as Chantel's mouth met the head of my shaft.

Glancing towards her, she had both of her arms wrapped around her stomach as she bit her bottom lip, looking like she'd been caught stealing something valuable. Our gazes clashed and the turmoil of emotions in her face awakened the beast in me. I wanted to comfort and hurt, provide pain and pleasure, anger and delight. The wave of feelings awash over me, leaving me strained and confused, but most of all, raging with a fire so fierce the woman with enchanting eyes could alone stoke it brighter.

Eyes locked together, I was held mesmerized as I felt both Chantel and Sherry sucking my cock, softly, gently— _hungrily._

Each second that ticked by without her breaking contact, the harder I got. Though the ladies' ministrations were excellent, it was the woman across from me—the air of reluctance she portrayed and the avid curiosity—that got me going. Moreover, when I let out a deep, pleasing groan and she dared break contact, the savage beast in me emerged, needing to come out and play.

"Ladies, I need to speak with Isobel," I spoke softly yet succinctly. Without glancing at my lovers, I knew my cutting command confused them, yet I didn't have the luxury of time to explain anything. Besides, I never explained anything to anyone. These were part of the rules in being my kept woman. I showered them with all the beautiful things life had to offer, and in turn, they gave me gratitude.

From my peripheral vision, both women quietly gathered their robes and slipped out of the room until it was just the two of us left. She still looked aghast and frazzled. I remained boldly naked—and harder than I had ever been in my thirty-four years of manhood.

Giving her enough time to breathe and get used to the idea we were alone before deciding to close the gap between us, I languidly strode towards her while her eyes fought the need to glance towards my emboldened member, charging with purpose. Once I reached her, my hunger tripled.

"Good evening, Isobel," I greeted as calmly as I could, mismatching the storm raging within.

Her brow furrowed, nervous and unsure of herself. "Hello, Mr. Xavier," she meekly said, meeting my dark depths.

"Hugo," I corrected her. "Let me hear you say my name."

She nervously licked her lips before whispering my name. "Hugo." The sound made me groan with pleasure as I felt a small bead seep out of the head of my shaft.

Her eyes dropped towards my raging manhood as I noted the emotions that flittered across her beautifully delicate face.

"Frightened of what it could do to you?" My control was slipping as I tried to portray the unaffected man before her, yet my member gave me away, seeming beyond enraged. Wanting to progress further, I went on with one purpose. "Touch it. It's been waiting to make your acquaintance."

Shimmering eyes focused on me, baffled and questioning. "I thought you said you weren't planning on doing anything with me tonight."

Her vulnerability made me feel amazingly powerful. "And I will keep to my word, but I never said anything about _you_ not doing anything to me, ma chéri."

"Oh— _well..._ uh... what did... _you want?_ " she stuttered her words out before licking her lips and clashing those tantalizing orbs at me.

_What did I want? Whatever she was reluctant to give,_ my mind automatically said as I looked down at her, wondering how her hand would feel against my skin. "Touch me, Isobel."

Her fingers shook as she bit down on her lip before giving me a tortured face, thus making me ache further for her touch. I let out a harsh breath when she made contact. She brushed her finger on the tip as she stared at my cock with fascination twinkling in her eyes. This woman hadn't done much, however her mere here-and-there touches almost made me combust inside. Her vulnerability, reluctance, and curiosity made a heady, potent concoction for me, and I simply couldn't get enough. I wanted more...

"Make me come in your hands, ma belle."

She swallowed whatever saliva she had before she gripped my length firmer, harder as she began her ministrations.

"Grip the base and focus on the head."

She did as I asked her before I gradually started to thrust my hips into her palms, shutting my lids close as I focused all of my senses on one part of my anatomy, basking on her sensual hands and fingers. Lust veiled my sight as I opened them to watch her work me well, and by God, what a sight she was.

"Look at me. Give me those beautiful eyes, ma belle. I want to stare at them while you stroke my cock. I want to see your soul while you make me come in your hands."

The sexy, shy kitten did as I requested, stroking the deep, sensual furnace within my body before it escalated to its peak and erupted beautifully, magnificently in her hands.

## Chapter Four

# Hugo

After watching her perform on me, following as I asked her what to do, sure was enough for me to decide what to do next. Though I admit, her looks alone already gave her a ninety-nine percent guarantee of approval.

Half an hour later, I called on Benoît for the contracts before I strode into the adjoining bathroom to clean up. She did the same, blushing as she requested if she could clean up as well before Benoît got there.

Casually nodding before I watched her sprint towards the bathroom, I strode towards the end of the coffee table in the corner room to have a shot of my favored "M" whiskey. This was a limited production, and its rarity made it all the more compelling to acquire. Every drop was exceptional, just like the woman who had temporarily fled into the bathroom.

The soft knock made me glance towards the door. "Oui?"

"Here's what you requested, Monsieur." Benoît strode into the room before setting down the folder atop the marbled antique table. He made a quick glance towards the bathroom before giving me a curt nod.

"Merci beaucoup, Benoît," I murmured as I wondered what he thought about the deal I had with Constantin Callas. It wasn't anyone's business, but Benoît had been with me for over a decade, and I didn't just see him as someone I employed. Through the years, a bond had formed, and I considered him a friend.

Alas, there was another problem I needed him to handle. "In regards to Dana, will you please do the necessary steps and send me a video during the interrogation. I wish to no longer see her."

He gave me a knowing look before clearing his throat. "As you wish. I'll take care of it in the morning."

"C'est parfait." (Sounds perfect.)

"Bonsoir, Monsieur Xavier."

I nodded, bidding him the same.

The soft creak of the opening bathroom door made me aware she was coming out, but I didn't glance up to watch her move and sway her hips as she walked. Instead, I threw my head back and emptied the contents of the glass in my hand before helping myself to another dose of the amber contents that didn't seem to lessen the burn doing a maelstrom in my groin. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts without looking at her and devouring her on the spot.

Her touch had merely whet my appetite and I wanted more—so much more. The second she signed the contract, the better.

Still not looking at her, I addressed the envelope that sat on the table. "The contract is ready. Go over the details, and if you have other demands, let me know so we can negotiate before a new one can be drawn up first thing tomorrow."

"Okay," she murmured softly before I heard her take a seat and go through the sheets of papers enclosed.

All this time, I had been taking one shot after the other, breathing in calmness, bidding my time so I wouldn't have such an evident hard-on before I decided to face her.

After a moment or two of thinking I had cooled off a bit, I spun around and my eyes immediately darted towards the view of her back. I noted how delicate her neck was then paused a moment, frowning. _Merde!_ Since when did I care or notice a woman's neck, delicate or not? Hissing at myself, I gave her a moment or two as she scanned the contract.

Denying myself from going through the pleasures I was accustomed to had been a mistake because it had boggled my mind. I was noticing things that usually didn't heighten my libido. First thing tomorrow, I would need Chantel to come to me before I showered to do some laborious working out.

Problem solved, I was in a much better mood.

"Have you skimmed through it?" I casually asked as I took the sofa opposing her, needing to see her face and what she thought of it. I had a knack for reading people's minds before they voiced their opinions. Isobel wasn't any different.

"Yes." Her eyes remained on the pages, flickering through the words, absorbing the details.

"Do you find it agreeable?

She shook her head, looking frustrated. "I will have to take a semester off school since it says six months here." She released a breath. "Summer break is only three months."

Merde. How old was she? How come I forgot to ask her this one vital question? She couldn't be eighteen, could she? _Imbécile!_ (Moron.) How did this slip my mind? _Because your cock twitched and it was all you could think about then,_ my mind immediately supplied the answer. So much for fair thinking...

Looking at her in the eye, I prayed she wasn't that young. "How old are you, Isobel?"

"I'm twenty-three. It's my final year before I graduate..."

Thank goodness she wasn't as young as I'd feared.

"Where do you study?"

"In England, but my home is Athens. I was here to visit my father for a week because my mother asked it of me."

So Callas was here vacationing his summer in Monaco to gamble away while his family was back home in Athens? _What a remarkable man,_ I thought sourly. My own father could be cruel in his own right, but he never once abandoned me for his own pleasures, even after my mother died a few years after giving birth to me. Eli Xavier was tough, but even with his hard exterior I never once questioned his love or intentions.

Flickering my gaze back to the beguiling woman, I knew I wouldn't want any more than the six months offered. Besides, the old man Callas needed to be taught a lesson. I'd have to make sure he was banned in all the casinos in Monaco and France. If he wanted to gamble, he'd have to go elsewhere.

"The agreement is for six months, ma belle. That's up to you if you want to sign it or not."

She gave me a seething look before breaking away. "You _know_ I don't have a choice."

I did, and I had to capitalize on it because there was something about her I wanted to taste. She looked too delectable—supple and ripe—and the thought of roughening her up a little with disheveled hair, bruised lips from kisses, and raw, throbbing lips from my passions... What decent man with standards wouldn't be tempted to make an exception?

This was the main problem with us. Place sex, beauty, and innocence in an equation, and men would have a hard time looking away; would have a tough time fighting their own animal urges to dominate and mark the very woman who had their engines revved up like no other.

I was the very same man. Even though I had always vowed not to play in this sort of field, a lot of men in my world took part in it. It had always amused me, but it had never come to a point where I had wanted to actually see and sample it myself. Beauty like hers didn't come often, however.

_Alors_. I was here and I fully intended to enjoy it as much as I could.

"Hugo?" Her soft voice with my name on her lips almost made me groan in frustration.

"Oui, ma belle?"

"You said I could negotiate terms... I have a few of my own..."

This certainly got my full, undivided attention as I wondered what she'd negotiate with me. "Go on?"

She took a deep breath and exhaled as loudly as she'd inhaled, as if she was preparing to say something she knew would displease me. "My stipulations are... well... uh... I don't want vaginal sex, even if there's protection. It's non-negotiable."

I waited a beat or two, hoping she meant it as a joke. But when her face remained the same, I instantly blew up. " _Mon dieu!_ What's the point of all of this then? I want you in my bed, and I won't have it any other way!" What man would agree to such an atrocious deal?

My outburst didn't seem to bother her as she slowly stood up to face my enraged state. "I will be in your bed—be your third woman—never question that. And we'll be having sex, but not there..."

I froze, eyeing her as if she had grown horns on her head. "Come again? I think I misheard you."

"You didn't. You heard me fine."

Taking a few steps to meet her, I gave enough distance because I didn't trust myself to be this close to her and not dump her in bed, open her legs, and plow into her supple body. "You don't want vaginal, but _anal_ you're okay with?" What madness was this? Besides, what kind of woman would agree to such an arrangement? "May I ask why?"

She didn't blink before giving me an answer. "Everything is personal... except for that."

Isobel was young, maybe her understanding in what was personal and what wasn't had been muddled by her ex-lovers?

"Ma belle, you might confuse the two, but trust me when I tell you that anal is personal; probably more personal than anything. Virginity is a rarity these day, but anal virginity isn't something a woman casually gives to any man they come across—it's for the man they love or trust. I am neither of those in your life."

"Not to me. I find the other way much more sacred, and I only share that with someone I love. I hope this doesn't offend you, Hugo, but I'm trying very hard here to meet your needs as well as my own."

She was honest; I'd give her that. This certainly placed a strain on my plans. "Very well. If you insist." I was getting half of what I'd hoped; however it wasn't all lost. "You said you wanted a few. What are the others?"

"I want my own bedroom."

Sleeping with my lovers wasn't a thing I was accustomed to. She'd know soon enough. "It's already waiting for you, ma belle. What else?"

"If there's an emergency that would need me to go home, I'd like it if you wouldn't hinder that right for me."

Family was important. It was one thing my father had instilled in me. I respected that. "Without question, family comes first." I nodded in agreement. "Anything else?"

"That was all I needed, Hugo."

"Very well. I will have these alterations drawn up tomorrow. It should be ready at nine thirty in the morning and should be in time for breakfast. I'll see you then, Isobel."

Blushing, she gave me a small, encouraging smile. "Thank you for giving me a chance," she murmured before leaving me to watch after her exit of my bedroom.

If I was confused before, I was more confused after that odd sentiment. She said thank you—she was giving me her body, yet _she said thank you!_

Merde.

## Chapter Five

# Isobel

"Can you make a fresh espresso, s'il vous plait," Hugo directed without flicking his eyes towards me as they roamed the computer screens before him, studying the red and green graphs.

I paused, eyes stuck staring at his striking side profile before making a curt nod to myself. "Of course, Mister Xavier."

"Hugo, Isobel." Dark pools of chocolate brown eyes zeroed in on me, making me breathy and out of sorts.

"Hugo," I breathed his name, feeling flushed. "All right, Hugo. I'll go make you your espresso." Closing my eyes briefly to push my embarrassment aside, I slowly made my way out of his plush office and into the kitchen right outside the area for his secretary and two of his personal assistants, who were working in a hushed, serene manner.

It's been a week since that night I signed my contract, and for the past seven days, this was something I hadn't expected to be doing—fetching everything he wanted and needed.

I unassumingly became his assistant— _his third one_. The man had a great team that offered more help than any man should need, and still, he bossed me around like a pet or an irrelevant person.

It wasn't anger I felt but more of a feeling between unappreciated and devalued. It was as though I wasn't good enough to be with him like how Sherry or Chantel were. A blessing was how I saw it because it truly was. I had thought the second I signed he'd become this brute of a man who wouldn't care about what the terms and conditions I stipulated were. Then, true to his word, he had surprisingly stuck to them, and I had been almost sure he would break it. However, seven days later, the man had yet to do anything sexual with me.

After that night, nothing had happened. I wasn't complaining—not really—but I was more apprehensive because there had to be a meaning behind all of this, shouldn't there? A man couldn't want one woman then change his mind the second she said she wouldn't be willing to have vaginal sex with him. Some would even argue that men would see this as a challenge. Still, Hugo Xavier had not shown any interest in me at all except for giving me orders to get him this and that. For three hundred thousand euros, this job I was doing was puny, but who was I to complain? This was what I had hoped for when I signed, although I couldn't help feeling the bite of his rejection.

My imagination had run amuck, and I had pictured all sorts of ugly scenarios in my head the moment I signed those six months of my life away, yet he had become the polar opposite of that hungered, over-eager man. What had happened? Every night I would try to remember, but nothing caught my attention to satisfy my question.

He'd been civilized and courteous, asking me every day if everything was okay for me, and I couldn't be more baffled at his personality. Apart from his appallingly beautiful good looks that always left me dumbfounded, I had learned he was well-received and well-loved by the people he employed, in the villa and his casinos.

Being Greek, I knew a lot about male pride and ego, which Hugo Xavier had in spades; however, it was a first for me to see a man that prided himself and yet never forgot to greet his employees when it was their birthday, or when it was their wedding anniversary. He even went as far as to give them free hotel stays and other perks they loved getting by being employed by him. Granted, my father's business wasn't as grand or lavish as this one, however he never treated his people this way. Cracking a smile towards your workers would be a sin in my father's eyes.

It was a refreshing change, and after learning bits and pieces of him for the past week, I felt almost secure he wouldn't harm me—not at all the way I had pictured it in my head.

Taking a fresh cup from the cupboard, I absentmindedly took a call when my phone rang in my hand. "Hello?"

"Isobel..."

I stilled, shutting my eyes as I cherished the sound of my name. "Damen."

He groaned in vain. "Please tell me you've changed your mind. You can't seriously break- up with me through a voicemail, Izz."

Izz. That was his nickname for me. Damen was my first boyfriend, my first love. My first everything. Breaking up with him a week before had not been easy, but I had to do what I must to save my family.

In my heart, if what Hugo had said was true, then six months of waiting for me wouldn't be a problem. Could it? Hopefully, by then, I could have all of this behind me. Damen was the reason I had requested the clause in the contract. Because I knew, deep down, what I was doing was wrong, yet values wouldn't save my family. Subsequently, I had needed a couple alterations to avoid betraying the man I loved in all aspects. It was a small compromise, I knew, but it was all I could do at the moment.

My heart was Damen's, and it would always stay that way, even if Hugo Xavier made me feel things—things that were forbidden. One penetrating look of his eyes never failed to draw something out of my body. It was raw. Carnal. Magnetizing.

The man exuded power and beauty with each breath he took, women sighed at the sight of him. Moreover, even though I found his handsomeness disarming most of the time, it would be a mistake if I got carried away and submitted to the animalistic, passionate man hiding behind those tantalizing eyes.

He was the kind of man who needed full submission from his woman, most especially in the bedroom. It was something I had never feared because I wasn't like Sherry or Chantel, who both had fallen into the Xavier spell. No. I was a woman in love with another man. A man whom I had vowed to spend the rest of my life with at the tender age of sixteen—before we had even shared our first kiss.

Hugo Xavier was just a man—nothing extraordinary. Six months with him wouldn't jeopardize me emotionally. I was certain of it.

## Chapter Six

# Hugo

I watched as Isobel carefully placed the espresso cup and saucer next to me, and how gracefully she slightly bent her body while protruding her delectable bottom as her provocative scent blanketed my space. I tensed as her scent filled me from my nostrils all the way down to my chest, sitting low in my stomach before settling in my groin. Cocking my head to the side, I silently cursed in vain, hating the fact she had this effect on me. She was just so... feminine and so achingly gorgeous that it was hard not to be affected by her. One look was all it took. It stoked the temptation I had pushed aside for the past week.

Normally, it was up to _me_ if I wanted to be affected by their displays of subtle flirtations and such, but it was different with her. _Why?_ I wondered, frustrated at the contracts we had signed a week before. I simply couldn't fathom her request, and had thought it a joke, that she'd change her mind the next morning. However, the joke had been on me.

I toyed with the idea of making her change her mind through seduction. I wanted her—badly. She would eventually beg me to take her. After all, that was the only way I would take her, and that was if she'd let me, giving me her full consent because, if I crossed that line, the contract would no longer be valid, and I would be the one paying her the same amount her father owed me.

Seducing her into submission was my way of showing her I would be willing to honor her wishes and, at the same time, get what I wanted in the end. I loved a good challenge, and Isobel offered that in spades. It was a wager I had with my ego and pride that I couldn't turn down.

Seeing as she stood to the side, awaiting orders, I focused on the coffee before me, picking up the steaming cup as I took the dark espresso shot in one go. The scalding hot contents burned my tongue all the way down to my throat, the bite making me grit my teeth as I lavished on the instant effect it had on my body.

My sex drive was far from abysmal. Even after I had taken one of my lovers, with one look at Isobel, I would immediately get hard again. It had been difficult to be around her in the villa, which was why I had tried to keep it platonic for a whole week, because I wasn't sure I could handle being alone with her. Most especially after that horrid clause in the contract. My hunger hadn't dissipated. In fact, I believed the damn clause had only made her even more appetizing in my eyes.

After a week of avoiding her, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to take her out tonight to an event I had committed to attending. It would also suit the other purpose of wanting to get to know her better, and being as it was a public place, there would be a slim chance I would try to devour her on the spot.

Clearing my throat, I checked the time before giving her a quick, swiping glance then focused back on my computer screen. "I have a gala to attend tonight, and I'm taking you with me."

Her brow rose, giving me that sexy look while her lips glowered at me. "Oh, Sherry is not available?"

There was a subtle hint of bite in her words. It made me feel the need to reinstate who was the boss here.

"I take whomever I choose, Isobel. And tonight, I choose _you_. Do you have a problem with that?"

She paused, staring at me, before blinking those tantalizing, long, sooty lashes at me. "No, Hugo, I don't have a problem with that." Pressing her lips together, she straightened her stance. "What time do you need me ready by?"

"I need you by six. You can leave to get ready whenever you like—spa, dress shopping, and whatever else you need. There's a driver waiting for your disposal."

"In that case, I better get going to get myself primed and pretty for yours truly." Her brow rose, challenging me.

She was already primed and pretty; I doubted she could get any prettier than this. "You go ahead and do just that, ma belle. I'll see you at six."

"See you then," she murmured as she quietly strode towards the doors, my eyes following her stride, watching her hips sway from one side to the other.

Hard and frustrated, I took my phone to call Chantel, asking her to come by and give me a quick visit. It had been like this for the past seven days—me always ending up calling Sherry or Chantel mid-day to cater to my needs even at the office. Furthermore, when those times happened, Isobel wouldn't look me in the eye before she exited the room to leave me to do my business. Abstinence wasn't in my DNA. Besides, I was a hot-blooded French man who always got what he wanted. Sex was one aspect in my life I could fully enjoy without restrictions, and I tried to supply my life with it as much as possible.

Twenty-five minutes later, there was a knock on the door before Chantel ushered herself in, wearing a seductive smile. "Mon Roi." ( _My King_.)

"Chantel." I gave her a knowing look when she halted before my desk. I leaned back in my chair and watched her carefully take her garments off, one at a time. I liked my women to seductively unwrap themselves like a present before me, getting me excited as I looked at what was going to be mine.

When she was left with her underwear on, I stopped her, asking her to leave it on before she sensually strode towards me. The moment she reached me, she immediately got on her knees, unzipped my pants and took me in her mouth. She did it nice and slow, making me feel her enticing licks as my cock started to throb. I shut my lids and imagined Isobel taking me in her mouth. Mon Dieu! I became harder than I was, grunting as I took her head with my right hand and pushed her mouth deeper, taking what she could until I felt her throat close around me. After I felt her gag, I wrenched her off my shaft, pulled her to her feet and licked the side of her ear.

"Bend over my desk, spread your legs wide and open. I want to see both holes as you stretch your body."

She did as I asked, taking her panties off languorously slow first, and in reward, I gave her a hard spank on her bottom, making her moan in earnest.

"Hugo," she gasped my name as I palmed her soaking wet cunt. "Baise-moi." (Fuck me.)

I smirked, knowing quite well how loud she'd be the moment I slipped my cock into her pussy.

"As you wish, mon amant."

## Chapter Seven

# Isobel

Casually giving the silent man sitting next to me a glance, I tried to breach the vast stretch of silence. "Where are we headed to?" After he'd arrived in the villa to get me, all dressed up and showered, from his office, he merely gave me a quick inspection with a stale greeting of "Good evening, Isobel" before opening the door for me to get inside his swanky, two-door sports car. Apart from that, Hugo hadn't supplied me with any words.

He stretched his neck from side to side then cleared his throat. "To a wine auction that will benefit homeless children."

_Sigh._ He was making this difficult. He wasn't very forthcoming at all, and since this was our first official outing together, I had thought he'd be more accommodating, but he was proving to be standoffish. "Sounds exciting. Are you setting your sights on anything in particular?"

Eyes stuck to the road, he used his left hand to tug his tie a little before responding to me. "For a while now... yes," he murmured. "And I intend to acquire it at all costs."

There was something about the way he said it that made me glance at his darkly handsome profile. I felt my stomach drop as I took in his masculine perfection. Greek men were passionate; however, French men were something else. Their passions seemed to go with everything they did—like limited edition spirits.

"Must be a fine wine then. I'm sure it's pricey."

"Anything _fine_ is always expensive. Nothing in life is free."

The bite in his tone made me feel at odds; therefore, I remained silent for I had no smart retort. After all, if one looked at it in black and white, my father had offered me like a barter to pay of his debts in return for my willing servitude.

He was right. Nothing in life was free...

* * *

* * *

"And who is this _belle enchanteresse_ , Xavier?" The famous racer Jacques Bertrand inquired the moment Hugo and I joined their close circle of friends.

Hugo touched the back of my hips, letting his hand stay there as he introduced me. "This is Isobel. She's spending the summer with me." He then paused as he stared ahead before gazing back to his friends, frowning. "Give me a moment to speak to someone." He made a quick nod towards me before whispering, "I'll be right back."

I watched after him as strode towards the opposite side of the hall, feeling a little odd yet again because his parting seemed awkward. Hugo and I didn't know each other, so maybe that was the reason behind his weird behavior.

Someone cleared their throat, picking up my attention as I looked up and found Jacques Bertrand's amused face. "Well, it's quite lovely to meet you, Isobel."

Smiling shyly, I made the same sentiment. "Same here, Monsieur Bertrand."

"Call me Jacques." He offered his hand, and when I shook it, he hung on to mine before giving me a questioning look. "I thought you were Italian at first sight, but your accent denies it..."

I was unbelievably out of my league here. These men were used to women that could flirt back with them with ease, but I was having a hard time not being completely star-struck at the handsome and well-known racer and womanizer extraordinaire.

"Greek," I offered to solve his problem, feeling out of my comfort zone as I watched the women saunter about, looking ever so glamorous while I felt like an interloper playing pretend.

"Simply beautiful," he murmured before placing his lips on the back of my hand, making me gasp from shock and excitement.

"Behave, Jacques. She's already taken," the woman standing next to him butted in with a playful smile. "I'm Stella von Berg."

I was about to say "Nice to meet you" when the man next to her interrupted me. " _Was_ von Berg. _Now_ Kensington, my lovely wife."

She exaggeratedly rolled her eyes before tapping his lapel. "And this is Callum, my husband."

Married couple. How sweet and endearing.

"It's great to meet you both," I said pleasantly at the couple before my eyes found the last member of their circle; another tall, dark, and handsome man. Swallowing my shyness, I greeted him, "Hello."

"Julien Geroux. Some might say I'm Hugo's closest friend to date." There was wickedness to his smile as he audaciously shifted and took Hugo's spot before excusing us from his friends, who were already starting to talk about Jacques's upcoming race. "Let's get you something to drink. Champagne?"

"Yes, please."

He plucked up two flutes from the passing waiter before securing us a spot in a corner. I was still feeling out of depth, yet my curiosity had been piqued the second Julien wanted some privacy to speak to me.

Casually offering me the flute, he gave me a warm smile as I took it with ease before those intelligent eyes sharpened on me. "You speak French?"

"A little... only the basics," I murmured before taking a cautious sip, eyes unwavering at the newly introduced man.

"Très bien."

He seemed forward yet accommodating enough. I supposed it wouldn't be too bad if I let my guard down a little. He didn't seem the type to have their claws out just because I was dating his friend.

"So, Julien... closest friend to Hugo; that must be something." My brow arched as I waited for him to supply me with some information.

Apart from what I had seen and knew of Hugo, there wasn't much about him on the internet other than how his family started and how their wealth accumulated from smart investments. There was nothing to clue me in about his personal life, much other than photographs. I needed the puny details—something to tell me what made the man tick. After all, I was to be in his "care" for the next six months. Wanting to know more about the man who would see to my welfare didn't seem unreasonable.

Julien shrugged my question off, looking noncommittal. "We have our moments like the rest. We've grown up together since toddlers." Another casual French shrug before he appointed me another question. "How do you find him and everything else?"

Hugo surprisingly seemed harmless. Well, if I took out that first time we met and how he daringly came in my hands and how powerful I felt then. He'd been distant since, leaving me to my own devices.

"It's okay..." Blushing as I murmured my answer, feeling quite bothered each time I recalled that incident in my mind. Every time, it never failed to make me feel... _things._

"And the _girls_?"

Sherry and Chantel were distant but seemed friendly enough. I could only be thankful the three of us, though we lived in the same wing, all led separate lives. They had their own sets of friends and lived as if they were boarding in the villa, and not mistresses of Hugo Xavier. It was surprisingly harmonious given the odd circumstances.

"They are reserved but pleasant." Taking another sip, I pondered my next question, hoping I wasn't probing on a subject that was off-limits. "May I ask why he prefers triple?"

Julien beamed at me, giving me a glimpse of his own dark, sexy beauty. He and Hugo shared that whole laissez-faire attitude, yet it was done with subtle elegance, great confidence, and an underlying power even right up to the way they held their heads high. They had some male ego competition going on, from what I was gathering. I wasn't sure if it was by birthright or simply by being raised together, but I must admit, it was mesmeric to be around their casual air of certainty.

"How do I explain this delicately...?" Clearing his throat, he took a sip of his drink before focusing on our conversation. "Years ago, this woman he was in a relationship with fell in love with him even though he told her that nothing was going to come out of their union."

There was always that poor woman who fell for the bad boy. Thank goodness that wouldn't be the case with me.

"Let's just say she made a big deal out of it and caused a lot of complications in his life." When he broke his lips for a smile this time, it appeared sad. "From then on, he thinks having only one is dangerous to the woman's mental health."

"A security blanket. One was surely complicated, having two would merely spark competition, but three? Three is perfect harmony." I figured it out for myself. My thoughts travelled into the villa, picturing a woman smitten and doomed with her love for a man who didn't accept it. How tragic it must've been for her.

"Sure, you can call it that."

Well, whatever Hugo was harboring, he could rest assured I wouldn't ever be in that same fate because, even though he was the most beautiful creature I had ever been graced to meet, my heart remained forever with Damen, who was patiently waiting for me to finish this "job" I had vaguely explained to him, needing space and an excuse for breaking his heart. My father was a selfish brute of a bastard. If it weren't for my brother and mother, I wouldn't be standing here tonight.

Breathing out my frustration, I carried on with the conversation. "What about you? Do you have a similar outlook with women?"

Julien laughed wholeheartedly. "You're forward, aren't you, viande fraîche?" I gave him a puzzled look before he produced the answer. "Fresh meat. _Viande fraîche_ is what I shall call you from now on."

Oh, please. Maybe to his standards I was. I was far from being one, but I didn't dare argue with him.

"More champagne?"

"I'm afraid your waiting services are no longer needed, Julien." Hugo's arctic voice interrupted us, making us both turn while my breath caught as our eyes clashed. I supposed whoever he had spoken to earlier on, it hadn't gone as planned.

Hugo harshly said something in rapid French, making me bite my lip as I stared at the both of them, uncertain if I should hide. He sounded like he was infuriated, but Julien's easy smile contradicted my assumptions.

"Isobel, it was marvelous to speak to you this evening. I will see you again." He made a gallant bow before he brazenly winked at Hugo and then left us in quite a heavy shroud of thick silence.

Damn.

## Chapter Eight

# Isobel

"Hugo." Frowning at him, I failed to understand what was going through his mind. This man was far too complex for my naïve outlook on men. Apart from my father, I had no close experience with men like Hugo and Julien—men with too much power. At a snap of their fingers, the world fell at their feet. They exuded it—even that Callum Kensington man earlier on had shown similar assured confidence.

Money. Obscene amounts of it could lead a man into believing they could walk on air, or on any ground for that matter.

"We're leaving," he gritted out before he gave me a slashing look.

Wait. He seemed almost accusing. What was that look for anyway? I was merely speaking to his friend, not having a quick romp in the storage room.

"Leaving? _Now?_ The event hasn't even started."

"We _are_ leaving." He had that expression on him, as if he was speaking to a child, ready to reprimand when the need arose. "Unless, of course, you want to stay for a cozier tête-à-tête with Julien, then you're more than welcome to stay."

Aghast, I stared at him agog _._ " _What_?"

For the first time, he came close to me, breath hot against my ear while I slightly trembled against his body.

"You heard me well," he warned. "So choose."

Trembling to be _this_ close to him, I was confused at my body's reaction towards the man. Whenever he was near, I somehow did that. I had no clue why, either.

"I came here with you. I'm leaving with you."

Without a word, he ushered us out of there, bypassing his friends that seemed too confused when Hugo didn't acknowledge them as they said something about where we were heading.

Once we reached the outside and the valet had handed him his keys, we travelled back the same road we had taken about an hour ago. The only difference was that the air about him was more untouchable compared to the quiet indifference he'd portrayed.

Gazing at his profile, I sadly noted how his rogue sexiness only added to his appeal when angry. He drove the car as if he was racing towards Hell, uncaring that he bypassed one hundred on the speedometer.

I wasn't sure what was bothering him; however, there clearly was something on his mind. Was it the meeting earlier on, or could it be because he found me cozy with Julien? The first choice was more viable since the second meant he would be jealous, which was ridiculous since we hadn't known each other long enough and hadn't been speaking at all when the purpose didn't serve it. Therefore, if Julien was to be believed that they were particularly close, then his anger was most likely angled towards his friend.

" _She caused a lot of complications in his life..._ " Julien's words flittered through my mind, wandering towards the woman in question. I wondered how he had handled his ex-lover.

Approximately twenty minutes later, I was taken aback when he drove us into the marina, parking right at the dock's entrance before my eyes caught the sight of the floating palace, alit with sleek elegance.

"Is this another party?" He'd never said anything apart from the auction we had missed.

"No," he curtly replied as he slid out of his Trojan of a car before opening my door and offering his hand to help me out. "We're having dinner."

"Oh." I was quite dumbfounded since we had left in haste while he brooded in silence, and then, only twenty minutes later, he was on to dinner. Color me confused.

We went aboard the mega yacht and were greeted by a butler before he ushered us towards the dining area that was purposely and elaborately done on deck, near the huge Jacuzzi set at the very end of the bow. Apparently, a hot tub on the opposite side wouldn't suffice.

Apart from the intimidating air of opulence that surrounded us, I was quite enthralled to dine alone with him. He didn't make all these detailed, extravagant efforts, but it was _he_ who'd requested it, so I felt quite honored to be the woman sitting opposite him. I was sure these situations occurred to him on a daily basis, but to me, it meant something. With Damen's limited funds due to the sour turn of the Greek economy and my father's exorbitant lifestyle, though our families were known to be well-off, we actually lived a life on a budget.

"It's beautiful tonight." My eyes took in the stars above as I breathed in the crisp air and the magical aura that surrounded us. The moon hung high, brightly lit as it cast its brilliance on the Mediterranean, basking it with his pulling beauty, painting a picturesque magnificence I had barely appreciated until tonight.

Watching appreciatively as the server carefully poured me a glass of red wine, Hugo didn't address me until his steward was out of earshot. "You mentioned a brother. What about your mother? Is she around?"

This was a start to a grueling interrogation about my life. I supposed it was bound to happen given the circumstances.

Pressing my lips together, I gazed into the darkness of his eyes. "My mother is in Athens. She's originally from Cornwall, but when she met my dad, she moved to Greece to be his wife."

"Must've been quite the culture shock for her."

The server was back with our first course of cream of watercress soup with a dollop of heavy cream and a quarter size dollop of caviar sitting atop it.

I didn't respond to him until the server left and we'd both started to eat leisurely—an alien word I wouldn't have used to describe Hugo, but tonight, it was fitting.

Remembering my mother's gentle, loving face, I somberly pictured her with a pained heart as I rehashed what had happened to my once vibrant, full of life, beautiful mother.

"She said the culture shock came in the beginning. She used to proudly say that her love for my father made her overcome her fears..." How sad to have fallen in love with a toxic man like my father.

"Does she know of his habit?"

"She does, but my father does as he pleases." My mother's opinion never swayed him to think twice before delving into action. My father was a spoilt, only child. _The golden son_. Oh, but what a joke he had become.

"My mother had a miscarriage, and after that, she hasn't spoken much. She still has the ability to speak, but only chooses to do so when it's needed. Most of the time, she wallows in her agony of losing the baby, and my father does what he does best." Breaking my mother's heart over and over again. Yet there she was, timidly waiting for the man she'd married to come back to her in order to welcome him with open arms.

"What a great parenting example," he huffed with a biting tone, upfront in his disapproval. "Have you spoken to your father since?"

"No." He never made the effort. I didn't expect him to.

He nodded, deep in thought. "Très bien."

Quietly placing my spoon down, I glanced towards him, hoping we could clear a misunderstanding that had left me boggled. "About earlier... I'm not sure if I should apologize for what happened or not because I'm quite sure I'm not the cause of your awful mood." I paused, brows furrowing. "I feel compelled to press this subject with you since we're still getting used to each other, and I don't want this issue to cause a rift between us."

He paused, setting his utensil down as he stared at me before he languidly rested his back against the white leather, wingback chair. "You're quite sure you weren't the reason?"

"Yes." Quite so.

Hugo remained in silent consideration as he kept staring at me, as if trying to figure me out. "And may I ask why, ma belle?"

Well, this question was easy. Might as well tell him the truth. I hoped he'd appreciate my honest opinion. "Because you had no grounds to be acting like Tarzan."

The end of his top lip lifted. "I acted like _Tarzan?_ "

Did he have any idea who the character was? I'd take my chances.

"Well, I wasn't sure what was said between you and Julien because you both exchanged in French..." I shrugged before making my point. "You're a man with three women living with you, ready at your disposal, jealousy couldn't be the reason."

"You're very rational for your age," he observed, eyes still penetrating me.

"I have to be." I met his gaze, feeling this tug of war between us. As if there was a magnetic pull telling me to run away, yet I couldn't fathom looking away and breaking contact. His dark eyes sought, gauging me as it effectively lulled me into its trap. Dark, angelic beauty, or dark, devilish appeal? I hadn't decided which suited him yet. However, one couldn't deny it any longer. That _this_ —whatever this was—it affected me greatly.

Furthermore, as exhilarating as it was to get his undivided attention, my mother was a prime example of being charmed by a snake. I'd be damned if I'd walk in her shoes, too.

Once was enough in our family.

## Chapter Nine

# Isobel

"We're sleeping here tonight," Hugo announced the moment all plates had been cleared away by the staff and we were both lounging with our drinks in hand, getting my full attention.

"But your hotel is close to here?" And the villa merely a little over half an hour ride away. Sleeping here tonight meant only one thing. Did he purposely wait a full seven days to get what he'd bargained for?

"It is." He waited a beat or two, making me fully aware of him, before he crushed any hopes I had to go back to dry land. "But tonight, we are sleeping here."

"As you wish," I conceded, hoping I hadn't sounded too tense. Being out here in the night, mooring off the coast, felt like I was at his mercy; as if I had nowhere to hide and couldn't run away from him. Maybe that had been his intention after all—to wickedly disguise this _dinner_ with an elaborate setting, simply distracting me from the main purpose he had in mind all along. _My body._

"Let's unwind and relax before we turn in for the night. You look too tense, ma belle." He cocked his head towards the lounge area, a large u-shaped leather cushion with black and white pillows in different designs and patterns.

Taking his lead, I followed him towards the area before we sat side by side, facing the moon. The fresh breeze, the illicit whispers of the night air, and Hugo's potent, unrivaled hunger were heady.

Though he may come off as if he had all the time in the world, the way his eyes hovered around my cleavage and how it lingered on my skin as if he couldn't wait to brand me—searing me with his possession—gave away the façade he'd so carefully attempted to play down. Deep down, I was grateful he wasn't going all about aggressive on me and was taking his time dancing to my tune. However, was I ready for this? No, of course I wasn't. But this was my duty to my family—for my mother and brother. And though I despised my situation, I couldn't very well hate the man who'd agreed to my father's bartering tactics. Hugo was, after all, a businessman—with a healthy dose of sexual needs and conquests.

"More wine, chérie?"

I needed it more than ever. "Yes, I'd love some more, please."

We enjoyed a silent moment as he poured my refill, but I was knotted in anticipation. Mind you, I felt like maybe I should rethink that clause I had adamantly demanded about no vaginal intercourse. Truly, the thought of anything going in my behind was mystifying. At that time, I had truly felt compelled to save something of myself in this twisted madness—giving myself away yet not everything of me. I was saving that part of myself because I believed making love was meant for two people in love, and Hugo and I were in no way involved in that sense. Mustering up the courage to go through the process was quite a bit more difficult than I had imagined.

"It's tonight, isn't it?"

A breath...

_A pause..._

Then, gasping for another heave as we eyed each other, him with that _look—_ the look that told me my suspicions were not far off base. Nervously, I gulped half of my wine down before I froze whilst sipping my drink the moment his warmth brushed my skin. The back of his forefinger caressed the side of my arm, teasing. Provoking... _antagonizing..._

"We'll take it slow. However slow you want it to be..." he murmured closely towards my face.

Animalistic wasn't the word I'd describe how he looked. Maybe a little more like a refined, carnal way of letting a woman know you were going to be his, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. In the subtlest yet succinct manner, of course.

My gaze shifting from his lips then to his eyes, each stroke of his caress seemed like a potion to something unhinged. Even though I tried to dispel his irresistible charms and sensual advances, I could only hang on to his words, hoping he meant them because, if the time came and I couldn't say no, I would count on him to save us both from the tricky predicament.

"Going slow would be a good start."

"I give you my word, ma belle." He paused before he brushed his lip against my ear, making my nipples hurt from this profound awareness of him and the intoxicating way he was speaking to me—with that sexy, accented English merely drowning me more in his sexual powers. " _But,"_ he gave me a deadpan look, "I want something from you tonight."

All this lavishness hadn't been spurred out of nowhere. I wasn't naïve enough not to understand what it all had been about from the moment his eyes zeroed in on me, bearing seduction in their depths. Ready or not, I had to do my duty.

"I know," I whispered as I met his gaze, unwavering from the promise I had signed a measly week ago.

"Très bien." He traced the outline of the fabric of my dress, leaving my skin feverish while I tried to rein in my body's overactive response. "Show me what you've hidden from me, Isobel. _Strip for me_ —every single fabric off your body."

Did he mean in the bedroom, or right this instant , out in the open where anyone could just walk in on us?

"Right here? _Right now?_ " Was he bluffing?

"Exactement." (Exactly.)

Oh, dear me. I knew he was a sensual man, but never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought he would want me to do something so reckless... so wanton... so vulgar. And even though my mind was protesting, my body's reaction had just escalated from excited to inflamed.

I watched how he lounged back in the cushions, toying with his drink as he gazed at me, waiting for me to do his bidding. I was half British, even though I had been raised Greek through and through. My beliefs and all the protestations of saving my sanctity had to be set aside to cater to this man. And I knew, once I went through this process, the next time would be bearable. One other thing that tugged at the back of my hesitation was my hoping Hugo would find my body satisfying enough to please him.

Sherry was voluptuous and sensual. She oozed sex each time she sashayed her hips. Chantel's confidence—her brazenness and exceeding amount of confidence and, not to mention, her gorgeous, fit body—would bring any male in a one mile radius to his knees. _Then there was me._ Pretty yet dull as I had once been described by my peers. Isobel Callas, slender with little to no experience except for Damen about sex, hoping this wouldn't dent my already slim sexual confidence.

Pushing myself up on my feet, I slowly walked a few steps away, enough for Hugo to see my entirety before I spun around to face the very man himself, knotted with such nervousness I felt nauseous.

"Unzip your dress... slowly," he breathed out succinctly. "And when I say, _slowly_ , I want an agonizing, unhurried display of sensuality."

Hell. Were all men past twenty-five like this? God help me. I had never been commanded in such a fashion.

" _Make_ me want you, ma belle. _Make_ my cock so hard I can't think of anything else but you."

## Chapter Ten

# Hugo

Isobel's little gasps and shallow breathing, which begged for my eyes to note her smooth cleavage, didn't help at all to save my sanity. Everything she did tonight made me want her. From her smiles to the way she smelled. Or how she looked sexy, and yet, she had that air of innocence about her. She was lethal to my health the moment I laid eyes on her this evening. Even her nervousness only added to my already combustible body.

For a man like me, who wasn't capable of denying himself anything, it had been a hardship to harness this perfervid need to have her on the spot, which meant the driveway and with all of my security detail waiting patiently on us. However, all I had been able to think about was to devour her lips that reminded me of soft, pink petals and her body that was covered in a sexy gown that accentuated her best features. I had wanted to press her against the side of the car, nestle myself in between the warm crevice of her thighs before I hooked her leg above my hips and plundered into her wet, succulent depths. I wanted her moaning my name, begging me never to stop until I came inside of her and was drained to the last drop.

My passions were known across country, yet I always liked to preserve a little privacy for my mistresses, thus displaying them out in the open wasn't something I enjoyed. At the end of the day, I was a hot-blooded French man who admired beauty, but most of all, I was a possessive lover. I didn't like to share what was mine, even if it was for onlookers. Yet the desire to take her against my car, to hell with the rest of the people watching, had dimmed my mood.

I was a man in control, and when I felt this control being threatened by my passions, it became bothersome. I even found it ludicrous. However, my body demanded what it wanted, and as much as I wanted to put a wedge between us and keep her at arm's length, I knew I had to remedy this need soon or I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.

I needed her, in any way I could. Period.

With my sour mood and a flighty business deal, it had worsened when I saw her laugh and gaze those mesmerizing eyes towards Julien. My limits were sorely tested.

Julien was one of my closest friends, and though I knew he was a serial flirt and wouldn't dare take a woman of mine, it didn't escape my notice that Isobel had a welcoming look on her, like an open invitation for him to take her. A look she hadn't even dared give me, much to my disapproval.

There was no way Julien and I ever became competitive when it came to women. In the business arena? Sure, most men were. But never with women. There was a silent, honorable understanding between us, one that was respected just as much as we valued ourselves as business partners as well as rivals. Yet, there I was tonight—contemplating if I should rip his throat out just to wipe off that shoddy smile he had for Isobel.

I couldn't pinpoint the reason why she made me feel so volatile towards my friend. However, I was betting this odd hankering for her would dissipate once I'd had my fill of her.

Six months, day in and day out, she was mine. I was quite certain that, by the end of the fifth month, I would be counting down the hours until we would be free of each other. These affairs always tended to go sour after the third month; subsequently, I knew I shouldn't bother pondering about such trivial feelings because my time was valuable.

"Ma belle, are you ready?"

She nodded, though her eyes told me she had reservations. In the back recesses of my mind, I had convinced myself she would come out of this bargain a better lover for her next conquest—skillful and knowing the value of seducing your lover. Moreover, when the time came, she would effortlessly surrender herself to me. The contract be damned.

Appearing relaxed, as if I had all the time in the world lounging here as I watched her with intensity, was becoming difficult every second that ticked by. Isobel stood with feminine grace, though evidently lacking in confidence, as she lowered the zipper on the side of her dress. _This_ needed to change. She was a beautiful woman who had no idea the kind of power she possessed in her beauty itself. Her tantalizing eyes alone could hypnotize any human being. Her fire and sass came to life when she was in public, but in the bedroom, she was the total opposite. She would be confident in her own skin, dressed or sans clothing. I would make sure of it.

"Lentement." (Slowly.) "Don't take off your dress with abandonment. Let my eyes _savor_ every inch of your skin."

Her skin was perfectly tanned. The shade wasn't too dark nor was it pale. It seemed to glow, and when she gradually lowered her dress to reveal her perky breasts, my cock pulsed so badly that instead of pouring myself another glass of whiskey, I simply went straight to the bottle, helping myself until I felt the fiery sting burning in my stomach.

Her rosebuds puckered when she saw how hard I was. I didn't dare say a damn word, nor did I move because I was too skeptical of whether I could control myself. Our eyes clashed, and I felt her emotions through the few feet separating us. Then, when she bit her lip, there was something familiar about it. It was puzzling to figure out what it was, and at the same time, felt so intensely arousing.

"Keep going," I softly commanded as she lowered the dress past her hips, showing me the soft curves on her hips and her flat abdomen.

After stripping her dress, leaving only her tiny, rectangular, flimsy thong, I took a moment to let my eyes worship her. Her black, strappy stilettos emphasized her toned, slender gams.

"Venez ici." (Come here.)

There was hesitation in her eyes before she came to her senses and did as I had asked of her. Her shallow breaths, lip biting, and lip licking added to my lust.

"Come a little closer... until your legs touch my knees," I said roughly, feeling the rapid pumps of my heart and the adrenaline rushing into my system. When I felt the soft brush of her leg against mine, even with my trousers on, I could still feel the burn of it. I felt exhilarated. "Part your legs, Isobel."

Stifling my groan when my eyes roved towards her heavenly, parted warmth, I set my glass aside, my eyes focused on the intricate, lace-covered cunt. I reached my finger out and traced the fine edgings of lace, where it was against the outer lips of her pussy.

"You feel very soft," I rasped out, hoping at the same time I wouldn't lose control, not tonight anyway.

"Are you wet for me, _mon bel amant_?" (My beautiful lover.)

She shivered before she gave a small, reluctant nod, closing her eyes as if she was ashamed of herself for admitting she was aroused for me.

"How many men have touched you this way, Isobel?"

"Before you..." she said with difficulty, "there was only one."

_Mon dieu,_ but she was perfect. There was nothing more arousing to a man's eye than a woman who was in denial of herself, wanting a man reluctantly.

Pushing it further, my tongue curled on top of my bottom lip as I stared into her eyes while my finger went underneath the lace and felt her skin, trailing it farther into her pussy until I felt its hot, inviting essence.

"Isobel," I groaned out her name as I shut my lids close, tormented at the thought that I wouldn't get to feel her tonight. For a week, I had lusted in vain; exercising my frustrations on Chantel and Sherry because I wanted to give Isobel space, for my need to conquer her was so intense. She made me feel like an animal, and I couldn't fathom it. It was disconcerting, yet I couldn't stay away.

_Miséricorde!_ (Mercy.) I thought as my finger flicked past her wet entrance.

Her breathing was loud and in shallow pants. Her body was on fire as she trembled from my touch. And I was at the edge of being tested to the limit.

"Hugo!" she hissed before her knees buckled and she landed somewhat sitting on her knees while her hands gripped my shoulders.

" _Oui, ma belle_. Tell me what you want." Hunger roared in my veins as it rung into my ears, into my heart.

_Dieu, but she is so beautiful_ , I thought as I gazed upon her delicate face, fighting to hold on, fighting for control.

"Let me touch you," I breathed into her ear as my thumb circled her entrance. "I want to feel how tight you are. How your cunt will grip. How it feels when it envelopes my length, blanketing it with warmth and slickness."

"Sorry, I can't. That's not part of the deal, Hugo."

Something in her voice triggered my male pride. I knew she wasn't punishing me because she had been upfront when we had signed the contracts, yet I couldn't help the feeling of rejection. It was as if she'd slapped me, wounding me as a man.

"Très bien." I took a sharp breath as I pulled my finger off her, and I felt her freeze, glittering eyes staring at me in shock. "The deck below are bedrooms. Head straight all the way to the end. You can go rest. I have some work to do."

She gasped, mouth slightly parted. " _You're already dismissing me?_ "

I was taking a break—a hiatus for my troubling thoughts—but she need not know that. "Yes. You are dismissed." Hurt bore openly in her eyes, but I steeled myself, unwilling to feel her pain. "Goodnight, Isobel."

_"Six months..."_ she hissed with passion. "And I won't ever think about you."

Ah, she had claws. Good. A woman who prided herself wouldn't dare fall for a man like me. Her spirited feistiness gave me assurance that there wouldn't be another Louise incident.

"Sleep well."

She groaned like a woman in rage, ready to strike, instead she jumped off me, scrambling to get away from me, looking as beautiful as ever in her fiery display, walking away in only her thong.

Isobel Callas.

_Every day you are becoming harder to resist_ , I thought bleakly before slumping into the couch and closing my eyes.

"Baiser tout," (Fuck everything.) I grunted out, hating my life.

I brought my finger, soaked in her essence, in between my lips. She tasted just as I had thought she would—an aphrodisiac.

The short spat I'd had with Julien earlier brought back everything I wanted to forget.

_"You don't want this to be another Louise, Hugo. She's too innocent, and you'll end up hurting her!"_ Julien surely hadn't held anything back tonight.

Louise Deniau.

I could totally understand Julien's concerns since there was something about Isobel that reminded me of Louise. However, Isobel _wasn't_ Louise. She had fire when Louise had been pure through and through. Her meekness and her ways of always wanting to put me first had been her weaknesses.

Funny how things played out tonight. It had been ten years after all.

It wasn't b long before I felt the guilt consume me once more. I had been warned, and yet I hadn't believed what my father had said. Ultimately, Louise had been the one who'd paid the price for my stupidity.

## Chapter Eleven

# Isobel

"Y _ou can rest go rest. I have some work to do."_

_Bastard! How the heck do I manage to "rest" after what he just did to me? Treating me like I was some cheap tart that didn't have any feelings whatsoever. How dare he!_ I seethed as I jumped in the hot shower in the en suite bathroom of the master bedroom.

Was this how he treated his women? Chantel had simply had high praises for Hugo, but seeing how he'd been acting towards me for the past week, it was either he disliked me as a person or only saw me as a sex object.

Letting all six jets warm my body, I pondered harder about his immediate change of attitude. Well, he had become a total ass when I'd declined him about what he wanted. Therefore, he was after vaginal sex, which I had clearly stated in the contract—that we both had agreed to and signed—wasn't part of the deal.

Remembering that next morning of negotiation, I distinctly recalled everything that had happened that day.

* * *

_"There will be no vaginal sex. In the circumstances that Mr. Hugo Xavier won't honor this binding agreement, he will immediately dismiss Ms. Callas from the six months contract, freeing her from all debts her father, Mr. Constantin Callas, accrued," the lawyer, who had thick, black-rimmed glasses, said out loud enough for Hugo and I to hear him clearly. "Unless, of course, Ms. Isobel Callas asked of it herself, of her own free will."_

_"After six months, all debts will be cleared," one of them said out loud, giving me a dead look._

_"There is a mandatory monthly health check-up that is non-negotiable." The oldest of the four lawyers eyed me sharply. "After today, you will see a doctor that will be assigned to you for the duration of your stay. The doctor will provide contraception to prevent pregnancy. This is also non-negotiable."_

_Didn't he just hear what the other lawyer had stated minutes ago?_

_"Monsieur, there won't be a possibility for that, I can assure you." I protested as I gave Hugo a questioning look, hoping he'd change the terms._

_"It's non-negotiable, Ms. Callas," the uptight lawyer reinstated._

_Resigned and feeling helpless, I made a small nod. "Okay, I'll do it."_

_There was no doubt in my mind that Hugo covered all aspects when it came to his health and unwanted pregnancies. Consequently, when I went to go see the doctor and had my physical check-up, I wasn't a bit surprised that regular, good ole pills didn't suffice; instead, I was to get injections because pills were unreliable, apparently._

* * *

Hugo had the upper hand. But even though he had made me tremble with his skillful touch tonight, I wasn't going to give in to him. I was Damen's and _not_ his. His little tantrum of not getting what he wanted wouldn't cut it for me. It was best he knew that.

After my shower, I fell asleep waiting for him to come to bed. Since this was the main suite, I had thought he'd be sharing with me, but I was proven wrong the next day. I woke up with the other side of the bed untouched, which only led me to believe that he went somewhere else to satiate his needs.

After I got ready, showered and primed to face him, a soft knock came at the door.

"You may come in," I murmured as I applied gloss on my lips.

The butler from last night appeared when the door opened, clearing his throat to get my attention. "Madam, Monsieur Xavier gives his sincerest apologies for not being here to join you for breakfast. I'm afraid he had some private business to attend to. He said that you can take the rest of the day off, and if you're willing, there's a spa appointment ready for you at your convenience."

_Private business_ , I acidly thought while I made a tight smile towards his little minion. "Thank you. I'll be sure to consider it."

When the butler left, closing the door behind him, I threw my gloss back into my purse, feeling his barbed rejection once more.

Huffing, I gathered myself to go upstairs to eat breakfast. The sun was already beating hot, and it wasn't even ten in the morning. Taking the same seat from yesterday, my eyes scanned the small, delicious feast before me. Through his endlessly cold attributes, I couldn't fault Hugo when it came to feeding me well. Even when he wasn't around, he always had someone to bring me a meal.

"Mind if I join you?" A voice from behind made me snap my head towards the newcomer.

Well, what a surprise.

"Of course, there's enough to feed an army."

"That's kind of you." Chantel strode towards me before taking the opposing seat and then poured herself a cup of coffee from the traditional French pressed glass. She didn't speak until she finished pouring, giving me a friendly look. "You must be wondering what I'm doing here?" Her brow rose as she pulled out a cigarette, lighting it seductively as I watched in silence, in awe of her confident grace.

"You're here because Hugo sent you," I provided the answer without taking my eyes off her.

" _Non._ " She drew from her cigarette before tilting her head to the side, blowing off the smoke through her bright red, matte colored, stained lips. She had the typical French savoir-faire, one I truly admired in most of the women that trolled around The Riviera. Looking at me thoughtfully, she spoke again. "So, how are you finding everything so far? Staying at the villa? Hugo himself?"

This was the weirdest conversation I'd had with anyone to date. "I'm comfortable living in the villa, of course." The villa, which was aptly named Villa Blanc, was suitable for royalty. Whomever would detest that would be insane. "Hugo... well... I'm sure he's just being himself."

"Are you saying he's a jerk?" The word _jerk_ rolled with a heavy accent.

"Something like that," I replied as I reached for a croissant and pulled it apart. "Is he always so... rude?"

She thanked the butler for bringing her an ashtray before looking at me again. "Hugo is one of a kind. He's forward and cuts to the chase—a trait I admired most after being a mistress to a married man for five years."

Whoa.

Swallowing the piece of bread that got stuck in my throat, I gave her a frown. I had always wondered about my father and his women, and I had never really met anyone who openly admitted being a home wrecker.

She made a nonchalant shrug before taking a sip of her hot drink. "Don't look so shocked. You'll be surprised how most women around here are."

Good to know that tidbit. "Oh..."

"Hugo Xavier is a good man. I consider him a friend, like family, even if that doesn't make sense to you..." She paused looking away. "Sherry mentioned that you're only with us for six months?" She gazed back at me with a raised brow.

Her immediate shift of the subject made me tense.

"Six months and not a day more."

She made a nod before reaching out to touch my hand that was on the table. "You seem like a nice girl—maybe too young to handle a man like Hugo Xavier, but he chose you." Her brown eyes sought mine. "He's enigmatic and an excellent lover. He will shower you with everything and will say beautiful words that will make you feel hopeless, but I warn you, never fall for him. You don't want that kind of life." There was something ominous with her warning, as if she wasn't telling me the entire truth.

"Of course I won't." Did she think I was that desperate? I loved Damen. "There's no risk of that," I assured her as I gave her a straight, pointed look. "Besides, Hugo might be handsome, but trust me when I say that I have given my heart a long time ago."

"That's reassuring to hear, Isobel."

If I didn't see the warmth in her eyes, I would've assumed this woman was out to get me because she herself was in love with Hugo. However, there was something in her expression that told me her coming here to warn me had been done with good intentions, thus I went with my gut, truly believing her.

"Do you have any plans today? I have a spa appointment, and it would be lovely if you could join me."

"Sounds like a plan. I'd love to join you." She beamed at me before taking another cigarette out and lighting it with gusto.

We spent a few hours at the spa getting massages, facials, and manicures. During that time, we chatted about our lives with a few helpings of Rosè.

I found out she was twenty-eight and had fled Paris when things hadn't panned out with her affair with the married man that had lasted for five years. Chantel was apparently in college when she dropped out and had left Paris to heal her wounds. As much as I tried to pry the name of the man in question, she would make this small laugh and brush the subject off. So I abandoned the subject, leaving me wondering about her life.

In return, I spoke about Damen—my first love, and the love of my life. Though she didn't ask much about my deal with Hugo, her empathizing about my situation made me feel a little better. Apart from Father, it was great to know there was another human being I could openly talk about it with since my father was such a coldhearted bastard. I didn't even doubt that, after this deal, he'd go on thinking this was simply a mandatory duty as his daughter. He wouldn't dare say thank you because that would be beyond his capabilities. Bemoaning about my unfortunate father wouldn't get me anywhere, however, therefore I left him out of the picture and vaguely described him as a non-parent, parent.

The rest of our time, we didn't speak much about Hugo or his history. It was spent about her reminiscing over the beauty of Paris and how she'd love to go back someday. When she was ready to face her wounded past, she'd make that trip to memory lane.

Entering the vast foyer, Chantel and I had just arrived at the villa when the house vibrated with sounds—and I meant heavy moans and pounding.

The echo of a woman's screeching and screams as she was being pleasured made me stop in my tracks. Standing in the middle of the circular foyer, I stared ahead in the vast, freshly waxed, marbled hallway, mystified and visibly in shock. There was no doubt that it was Hugo's skillful efforts that made the woman shout to the rooftops. And since I was with Chantel, the woman singing his praises was Sherry.

Was this an insult to me? Maybe I was overreacting, but I somehow felt offended, because last night he blatantly dismissed me like I was some rubbish.

Chantel came up behind me. "Have you ever seen him in action?" Her question made me frown.

Shaking my head, I glanced back at her, wondering what she was thinking about.

She winked at me before taking my hand. "Come, he usually doesn't mind."

"Usually doesn't mind?" I parroted like a frightened idiot. "Hell, no. I'm fine."

Was she out of her loony mind? What she was suggesting was shameless. Besides, if I said yes, what did that make me? _A very curious individual?_ My mind kindly provided.

Her hold tightened, pulling me farther into the house while I tried to stop her, but she didn't care. Maybe because she had no clue about some of my secretly hidden insecurities when it came to Hugo.

"You're such a shy girl. We can hide if you want." She kept on pulling us farther in, and the sounds became harsher. It was much more profound, echoing against the walls, and I couldn't help that I was getting goose bumps from Sherry's animal dying-like sounds.

"Come on, you have to see."

Dammit. As much as I hated to admit it, I was beyond curious.

"And you promise he won't see me?"

"He won't if you don't make a sound..."

Feeling like the ultimate peeping tom, the temptation of seeing him in action overrode rational thought. The two hadn't even bothered shutting the double doors in his library. They'd simply gone at it, uncaring of the helpers and other people that could easily witness them mate like rabbits—well, more like Hugo not having sex, but fucking to be precise. Yes. I hadn't known what fucking meant until that very moment.

"Look at how he thrusts. Only a man with enough muscular strength on his lower back and arms and a great sense of rhythm can thrust perfectly like that," said the woman, whisper-hissing into my ear, who thought Hugo was the ultimate sex god. She'd admitted as much.

As much as I would like to quietly think of a snarky comment to make myself feel better, I couldn't help noticing the power he exuded with each thrust. The only thing I could think about was him thrusting and how it would feel to be spread eagled on his antique desk, wide-eyed, gasping for his next invasion, feeling thrilled and utterly consumed by one man—Hugo.

"Watch how he dominates. He makes you come undone. With one touch, you just want to do anything to please him," she went on with her words of awe and worship.

I couldn't fault her. No wonder she was fine with this arrangement. A part of me wondered what it would be like to have him like this. At the same time, I knew my imagination would never turn into reality. I was a controlled woman who didn't give in to her urges of sexuality. I wasn't carnal; I was in love with Damen. No more, no less.

"He makes a woman tremble." Chantel gave me a quizzing look. "Don't you think so?"

Her whisper-hissing aside, it annoyed me she was saying the right words about Hugo's masculinity and sexuality. Because, yes, as much as I would hate to openly admit it, I, too, trembled. I, too, became so sexually aroused I felt the wetness in between my legs before I realized what it was, and it bothered me greatly.

Six months, and I would be out of here in a heartbeat. Hugo and his odd sense of lifestyle wasn't my problem. I was his plaything, yet I couldn't allow myself to subconsciously submit to him even if my body had never felt so entranced until Hugo touched me seductively. Damen's techniques were mediocre compared to his, but I would never submit to them. This was obligation. _He_ was obligation, nothing more.

Loudly grunting my dissatisfaction, I was about to spin around and leave Chantel to her voyeurism when those dark depths snapped at me, connecting our eyes, when it struck me.

I had met him before.

But the question was, _when_? Because I couldn't recall.

## Chapter Twelve

# Isobel

I immediately fled the scene with my heart pounding against my chest. Seeking the comfort of my own space, I rushed towards the right wing of the house and inside my bedroom. Once in there, I shut the door behind me before leaning against it, eyes closed as the images of him played in my mind, as I tried to remember where and when I had seen Hugo before. Maybe it was something about his side profile that seemed to have triggered a sense of familiarity about the man.

My God, what was that downstairs? Was this how he conducted his private life? Whereas his public persona held him in high regard, the opposite applied to his personal affairs. Yet everyone seemed to have accepted it. There was no talk of protest or any disgusting comments. _Why was that?_ I wondered.

It was infuriating if I came to think about the fact he had left this morning without saying anything to me personally because he was in a rush to take care of a "personal matter." Then he books me a spa appointment, only to find him engaged in his sexual exploits in his library upon my return. Whatever good opinion I had possessed of him had just turned to nil. It was obvious I wasn't truly needed. Couldn't he be less narcissistic and assign me somewhere I could use some brain activity? I was majoring in Journalism, I was certain I could be of some use somewhere in his vast selection of businesses. Being his plaything was boring, and that's all he ever did, _play_

He played with my mind and my emotions.

Sex was already covered by Chantel and Sherry. I was the fourth wheel he only summoned when the first two options were both exhausted.

I had always wondered what it was to be a socialite, what it meant to be pampered to the point one's main goal was simply to look pretty and shop until you dropped. Being chauffeured around with a limitless credit card where I could shop for whatever I wanted. Doing whatever my heart desired only proved what I had known all along; I simply couldn't be a man's trophy.

Watching my mom deteriorate had only made me want to thrive harder to become the polar opposite of how she had gone about her life. Everything had halted the moment she'd gotten engaged. From then on, it was wedding, marriage, making a home, and then having babies. She said it herself before she had a miscarriage, that this was a woman's role in life; to provide a home for her husband and children. I had nothing against marriage or having children, but I would certainly make sure the man I chose to marry would accept and respect my choices, that I would have a job of my own, regardless if we had children or not. Because one thing was clear to me; women felt obligated to give up their hopes and dreams the moment they said their _I dos._ Then they started losing their identity because they'd be too consumed in their new life, trying to please their in-laws and husband so hard they'd lose track of what had made them happy in the first place.

I'd rather stay single than have a life like my mother's. I wouldn't even settle for a life like Sherry's or Chantel's, even though they would want for nothing when it came to material and monetary aspects. Even then, I wouldn't dare. Leading a lavish and glamorous life was amazing, but I'd rather be borderline poverty and be with the man I loved than live a meaningless life.

Peeling my clothes off, I changed into a soft cotton robe before I pulled my hair into a haphazard bun and sat on my bed, turning on my laptop.

I had one email from my friend Clara. Opening the mail, my lips broke into a smile when a picture instantly downloaded into view, showing my friends sunbathing with drinks and cheesy, happy smiles plastered on all of their faces. It also included Damen.

_Are you still in Monaco? When will you be back? Island hopping isn't the same without you. We miss you!_

Staring at the picture, I could only imagine how much fun I was missing. I had been saving for six months for this trip because my father would rather keel over than give me an allowance. I was fine with it, working part-time while in school was tough, but it taught me discipline and how to budget my money. For six months, I had saved every extra penny, knowing it would all be worth it come summertime. Obviously it hadn't panned out the way I had pictured it because my father had come out with threats and demands. I was supposed to be spending my summer with Damen. This was supposed to be our time together without projects, exams, and other obligations we faced in our daily lives.

Poor Damen. Ever since we started dating, things hadn't been easy for us. Nor did it help that my father was so against it, calling Damen dirt and saying he was only after our money. I remembered thinking, what money? Did he not realize he gambled most of our riches away? That we were nearing bankruptcy, but his father always tended to find a way to help him somehow?

Though Damen and his family didn't have the riches they used to have, the only thing that mattered to me was how much he loved me. I trusted him with everything. I was sure my friends were doing their best to keep him well and happy. By the looks of it, he seemed like he was enjoying himself, so I supposed I shouldn't worry as much.

Sighing, I put my computer aside, feeling a bit blue because my summer plans had never happened. Instead of enjoying the company of my friends and having fun, I was stuck with an unconventional womanizer who seemed to have a secret about this woman who had fallen for him. Chantel and Julien said never to fall for him, yet they never clarified what the hell happened to her. They gave mild warnings, yet no explanation. It was as if I should just heed it without thought. It wasn't like it was a possibility because it would never happen, but what had really happened that got Hugo so bent up?

A knock came at the door before it was opened and in came the very sex god incarnate himself. "Isobel?"

Shutting the door behind him, he was dressed in white, linen, drawstring pants and a white, fitted, cotton muscle shirt, glaringly showing off his toned physique. His hair was wet, indicating he was freshly out of a shower and not hot and sticky from his extreme thrust-filled workout less than hour ago. He looked more than hot and sexy, and his presence merely irritated me because, well, for such a narcissistic pig, it would've been fair if there was something physically unattractive about him; long nose, too wide eyes, a unibrow?

Annoyed and irritated that I even noticed how good he looked, I made an effort to get out of bed, tightening the belt of my robe before I decided to glance back towards him.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Xavier?" Hiding my temper wasn't truly my forte. Furthermore, since we were going to be living in the same house for quite some time, it was better off if I acted like myself and not the woman who was basically jumping to meet his demands because I felt indebted to him. I was, in a sense, until the contract was up. Still, I was done playing nice to His Royal Highness.

My barbed attitude didn't go unnoticed. "So we're back to Mr. Xavier again?" he asked, pausing in the middle of the room, standing tall and definitely in command.

"I'm working for you, do I not?" I paused. "Mr. Xavier it is then."

He drilled holes into me, obviously feeling the heavy dose of my nasty, unpleasant manner. "I'm hoping this change of attitude wasn't from what you witnessed downstairs?"

_Amongst other things, perhaps._ "You _think_ it's because you openly fuck your girlfriends where anyone could just watch you successfully nail them into your table?"

"You knew what you were getting into when you signed the contract, Isobel. So don't give me this shitty attitude because you just got a wakeup call." The cutting look he gave me merely inflamed my anger more.

Trying to calm my breathing, I didn't bother continuing the discussion about the contract and his indecent behavior. "Do you need something, Hugo?"

"My aunt is coming to town, and I have a favor to ask." Placing his hands inside his pockets, he then cleared his throat when I gave him a blank look. "She's not very fond of my lifestyle."

"I doubt anyone is." I couldn't help blurting it out; it was as if my mouth was possessed and had a mind of its own. "Except for _you,_ of course," I sarcastically added another layer of barb.

His chocolate eyes darkened from my incessant behavior. "Careful, ma belle. Don't overstep yourself with these snide comments. I can only tolerate so much."

Fine. I intended to keep my mouth shut before I said something I'd regret.

Taking my silence as a green light, he continued with his explanation, "I have to send Sherry and Chantel to travel for the next few weeks until my aunt and my cousin's stay is over. You're closer to Elena's age, therefore I'm requesting if you could play chaperone."

"Are you asking me to be your cousin's babysitter?" He was sending his girlfriends away because they were too precious to be bothered by his aunt, and I was the dispensable, contractual woman whom he could order about. Great. I was his substitute personal assistant, somewhat plaything of a lover, his aunt's entertainer, and a partial babysitter. I wondered what other _skillful_ assignments I'd get after this.

"Don't be so overdramatic. Elena's in her early twenties. Hardly a baby."

Whatever. I needed something to cool me down. Maybe I could take one of his vintage bottles of reds from his impressive wine cellar after this conversation. Giving him a haughty look, I conceded that it was best to follow his orders instead of defying him. It was too early to provoke him anyway, and even though the contract was signed and sealed, there was still a part of me that was afraid he could easily void it out and call the police on my father. As much as I hated my father, I couldn't fathom hurting my mother; she was already going through so much pain that the news of my father getting into trouble again would basically push her over the edge. I was scared that, one day; she'd snap and end herself.

"Isobel?"

My mind had wandered off again.

Shaking my thoughts off my parents, I gazed at him. "Hmm? What?" I asked, blinking a couple of times.

He frowned at me. "You still haven't given me your answer."

Drat. Chaperone was to be me, then. "Yeah, I suppose I don't have much of a choice."

"You always get to have a choice, that's why I'm asking for your permission. Don't think that, since you're under contract, it means I get to tell you what to do without your consent." He was getting worked up, nose flaring, jaw locking, and the lot. "I'm not a tyrant and I certainly don't work like that. It's best you remember this fun fact."

Did I hit a sore nerve? It looked like it.

"Well, that's comforting to know." I licked my lips before looking away from his too delectable profile. "I'll do it."

"Good," he said after a full minute. "Thank you."

Dammit. Even when sparring, he acted polite and gentlemanly. "Okay. You're welcome."

"I have a business dinner to attend to. Have a goodnight, Isobel."

Who was his plus one? I was dying to know, yet I didn't even dare ask the infuriating question.

"Night," I finally said before he opened the door and exited my room.

Fifteen minutes later, I was left staring at the door, wondering what was wrong with me. In the beginning, I had been grateful he even considered my father's proposal, but in the span of a week, hate and anger had somehow managed to wiggle their way in, making me question why the man evoked so much emotion out of me. Given that it was hate, anger, and displeasure, why did _I care_ to feel hate, anger, and displeasure? I was left more confused than an hour ago.

## Chapter Thirteen

# Isobel

Two days later, his aunt and cousin Elena arrived late in the afternoon. We were out in the garden, underneath a pergola that had white, see-through silk veils, overlooking the beautiful French Riviera. Hugo was supposed to join us but was actually running late, and I had to prematurely play hostess until His Highness was back from his business endeavors.

Elena, just as I had expected, appeared like a spoiled, bored princess, minding only herself as she frantically tapped away on her phone.

His aunt Julee and Elena had the same features as Hugo—dark hair, chocolate eyes, and excellent gene pool. Both women also had that kind of air of elegance that was purely imbued from a very young age, most especially his aunt. From the way she carefully sipped on her china to her indirect way of interrogating me, it was all done with refined finesse. If it weren't for her obvious doubts about me, I could've actually gotten along with her. Then again, I couldn't blame her suspicions. I did, after all, come out of thin air as she'd carefully put it.

She might have appeared poised and calm, but I wasn't fooled. After all, my family ran with circles that reminded me of Julee; suspicious, self-righteous, self-entitled.

"I found it rather odd that Hugo instantly changed his lifestyle after ten years of being an infamous Casanova all over Europe." Her brow raised a tad before a malice-filled smile. "Pardon my rudeness, but I just don't believe it."

Well, then why even try to appease her already made up mind? "You're more than welcome to your own opinion." Shrugging, I reached out to take a sip of my coffee. I took my time sipping, tasting the liquid on my tongue before I placed it back on the saucer. "It seems you've already made up your mind, so I'm under no obligation to change it."

"Carry on that attitude, and you wouldn't last long with my nephew. I can guarantee you that," she threatened, her composure slightly slipping from her anger.

My, not even an hour in, and we were already enemies. Great. However, as much as I wanted to play nice, she was the one who'd started it, and I wasn't going to let her treat me like dirt. My father already filled that role in my life; I need not do with another.

"As the saying goes, there are a lot of fishes in the ocean..." my rebuttal came with a smug look. "So I'm not bothered by your threats."

Julee became tomato red as she instantly stood up, glaring down at me. "Hugo won't tolerate this disrespect towards his family. I'll make sure he knows how selfish you are."

_Seriously?_ "Be my guest, Julee," I murmured before I watched her walk away, raving mad with anger.

"My mother... She's something, isn't she?"

My head spun to the side to glance at Elena. "She definitely is." My riled up emotions started to ebb away, making me sigh with relief. "I had no idea that you were paying attention to the conversation."

"I _always_ pay attention," she blurted out, giving me a wicked smile. "I can't stand my mother. One gets creative in ignoring her." She considered me a moment, studying me. "Don't mind her. She's just bitter that my father divorced her for a younger woman."

Very well. She was a scarred woman; scorned and bitchy. They were the best ones, out to get whomever they could to join their miserable lot.

"Hugo told me you're going to be my vacation buddy," she started saying before I gave her a curt nod. "Tonight. Eight p.m. We're going out to meet some of my friends that are here for a week. So take out that little mini black dress; we're about to come out and play all night long."

Party. _With people that were my age_. Sounds like a perfect way to end my night. I needed some fun after being confused ever since I moved in the Villa Blanc.

"Sounds brilliant."

Elena stood up, stretching like a tired feline. "Time to get a little beauty rest before getting ready for tonight. I'll see you at eight."

"See you."

All by my lonesome, I thought about the night ahead of me. Maybe having Elena around wasn't so bad after all. Because, truth be told, I was dying to let loose and forget about Hugo for a few hours.

* * *

* * *

Hugo arrived when the sun was about to set. It wasn't that I was scared to face him because I challenged his aunt, but for some reason, I didn't feel like facing him just yet. Subsequently, I decided to take the stairs that were carved from the very rock itself that led to the shore below.

I needed reprieve from the chaotic life I lived in at the moment. It was one of the reasons why I had decided to study in England, even though my father had been completely opposed to it.

The azure water looked marvelous, aglow with the sun's last rays. Watching the sun setting low, I thought of my mother who loved watching it out from the balcony. It was a daily ritual for her. She'd stare at it, as if saying a prayer. When I was little, I used to sit on her lap with her hugging me tightly from behind. I remembered her saying, _"No matter how bad our day goes, you can always count on this moment to make you feel good. We take a moment to appreciate how beautiful life is. There's always beauty amidst the ugliness this world has to offer. Never forget that, Isobel."_ Those words had stuck with me most because it was a reminder of how my mother's life was. She was unhappy and knew the ugliness my father was made of, yet she wouldn't ever leave his side. All she had were those sunsets to remind her that life wasn't always dark and cruel.

My mother. My poor mother. There was a time when I thought my father was only verbally abusive to her until that day where he had done something to prove the lengths he'd go through to punish me.

* * *

_"You are not going anywhere, Isobel. You're staying in Athens. End of discussion!" he roared at me, looking enraged with his neck turning the shade of crimson and eyes that made my bones shake._

_I had never seen Father this angry, yet I knew if I didn't stand my ground and fight for what I wanted, I would be stuck here in Athens, living under the same roof with him. Going to England to study was my only legit way out without rousing too much suspicion._

_I'd had an idea he wouldn't be pleased, but somehow, I had sort of convinced myself I had the means to persuade him this was for the best. Seeing him beyond furious at my audacity to even contemplate leaving our home, let alone leaving the country, I wasn't so sure I had the capacity to make him understand my reason._

_"Father, please—"_

_He marched towards me, eyes bulging out of its sockets as he breathed down on me before he unleashed his fury. "My decision's final! Don't you dare defy my authority as the man of this house. No more about this nonsense."_

No... please _, I quietly begged him through my eyes. I had to make him understand that even his authority wouldn't stop me from achieving my dreams. This was my time, and I wouldn't let him steal this away from me, too._

_With my heart ramming against my heart, my will pushed me to the inevitable. "I've accepted... and I already bought an airplane ticket. I'm going, Father, whether you approve or not."_

_Before I even managed to take a breath after I finished speaking, my father's strong, furious hand wrapped around my neck, choking me. "You insolent child! You want to leave this house because you long to be that boy's whore. You're worthless, just like your mother." Each word he said made him look like he was Satan before he started to lift me off the floor. My air passage was completely blocked as I tried to detach his hand from my neck, but he was too strong for me to fight off._

_When I was sure I was turning blue and would die that very moment because my vision became blurry, something happened._

_"Let her go!" Yanni, my younger brother, interrupted, punching Father in the face, making him drop me to the floor, heaving and gasping for air in my lungs. "Iso, you okay?" he asked worriedly before he focused his attention on his target. My father almost fell to the floor, but what he did next was quite the unexpected._

_His laugh—the mind-bending evil kind of laugh that only demonic people possessed—bellowed out of him, appearing as if he was finding this situation easy to laugh off._

_"Saving your sister was a mistake." My father's dead eyes burned into me before they landed on my brother. "Throwing your fist at me guaranteed that your life will be hell." He glanced at me before flicking his gaze back to Yanni. "Consider this a lesson to you both," he warned before leaving us to recover._

_Five minutes later, when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I heard the most chilling of screams from my mother._

* * *

Later, I found out that he punched her in the stomach because he deemed it useless that it couldn't even hold a baby. He believed that a woman's womb was made to carry all babies. Women that couldn't were, therefore, a disgrace. _This_ was one of the reasons he tried to justify his lifestyle—full of gambling, deceit, and countless women who were idiotic enough to buy his bullshit.

Every time I thought about that time, I felt responsible for bringing more hurt to my mother. It was selfish of me, yet I knew I had to follow my gut, and the need to be free of my father's shackles was just too profound to ignore.

"Here you are. I've been looking all over for you."

_Hugo_. Crap. Was he here to reprimand me of my abhorrent behavior towards his aunt? "Is this about your Aunt Julee? Listen, she—"

"She said that you were a cheeky, ill-mannered gold digger."

Cheeky? Probably. Ill-mannered? Definitely. But a gold digger? I certainly wasn't. Ever since I had arrived here, I had tried to ignore the deep, nagging feeling of loneliness, or how I wished to be with my friends and spend this precious time with Damen instead of playing charades with the megalomaniac named Hugo Xavier. Putting a brave face on everyday was a challenge as it was, and then, in comes Julee Favre with her brow raising, elegant self, questioning my position in Hugo's _faux_ love life.

Wearing an insufferable expression, I had to lay how I felt about his aunt out for him. "Your aunt had it coming," I said unapologetically. "If you're here to ask me to apologize to her, then you're wasting your breath."

"I'm not here for that." He eyed me thoughtfully, angling his face so the last rays of the sun basked over him, making him glow. Chocolate brown turned into golden, fiery lava before me, taking my breath away. "Although, it's quite an accomplishment to get her so viciously mad."

"Was that... _a compliment?_ " I hid a shy smile.

He matched my grin, eyes dancing at me, amused. "I know she's difficult. At one point, I was worried how you'd fair with her, but I guess that answers my curiosity."

"Well, I aim to please, _Your Highness_ ," I teased further; glad I hadn't ticked him off about his aunt.

"Is that so?" he murmured with a look about him, staring at me with wonderment.

_The look_ he was giving me made me thirsty. Touching the base of my throat, I timidly gazed at him. "What?"

"You just surprise me." A frown creased his handsome profile before he reached out and cupped my cheek. His touch simply shocked me. "I never thought a smile could mesmerize me..." he rasped out. "But you have proven me wrong."

Dear me. What was he doing? He had never acted this way, like he was starting to like me. Not the Isobel he saw, but the woman inside me.

"I can't stop thinking about you, Isobel." He sounded strangled, just as confused as I was. "I don't want to, and yet you remain in my mind..."

"Hugo..." What should I say to him? Damn. He needed to know. "Please, don't go there. We both know that this is purely business. Don't make it more than that."

"That's the thing, _I do_ know this." He seemed tormented. "And I do know that you're in love with a man named Damen Zabat."

Had I heard him right? "How did you—"

"A thorough background check is part of being a mistress. It was in the contract you signed."

"Oh." Had I failed to see it? Maybe I had, but my mind had been preoccupied with more pressing decisions from what the contract entailed.

He sighed loudly before he gazed out onto the sea, pondering. "Is it wrong that the more you deny me, the more I want you? Your heart might belong to another man, but your body wants me, Isobel."

It was sad; however, what he was saying was the truth. My traitorous body couldn't help eagerly responding to his touches. I was attracted to him, and this carnal feeling I felt each time I saw him was pure torment, because I didn't want to feel this way. It was wrong, and yet, when he touched me, all I could think about was him and this spellbinding power he had over my body.

He took a moment before he spun around and faced me, looking determined. "Tell me I'm lying."

"I wish I could." I bit the bottom of my lip, hating the fact I was in this position. Almost a week ago, I had been absolutely sure Hugo wouldn't have any power over me. That I would be in control of everything. I wasn't so sure any longer. But for Damen, I'd keep fighting this off until I was out of fight. "But nothing will come of it. _That_ I can assure you."

"You seem certain."

_Damen. Just think of Damen and his love_. "Because I am."

Thinking hard, I wondered about the times he had intimately touched me yet didn't execute anything that was agreed upon. It made me wonder if this was his plan all along—for something more rewarding in the end. Unless, of course, this was just my imagination going into overdrive. After all, he'd been distant on moment and seductive the second. He blew hot and cold, making it hard for me to read his true intentions.

"Why am I really here?" glancing at him wearily, I voiced out my suspicion.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Let's drop the pretense that you plan to do anything with me other than being your go-to, all around person to make your life easier," I challenged him to deny it. "So I'm asking again, what's my purpose?"

He immediately looked formidable. The baffled man earlier vanished as if it had been a figment of my imagination. "Your purpose is _me_ , Isobel," he stated succinctly.

Our eyes battled before I stepped into his space, our noses almost touching, challenging him. "Sex. This boils down to sex." I hatefully gritted out. "Funny how _nothing's_ happened."

"I want you," he hissed into my face, eyes locking with mine. "I want to possess this body like no other man has ever done. I want to fuck your pussy until I've had my fill with it, until you can't think of Damen."

Oh, wow. Had this been the reason why he'd been all twisted with me?

"Didn't you get the memo? No vaginal sex. That's what we agreed upon. Have you forgotten? I could rehash it for you if you want."

"I never forgot that I'm only allowed to have you the other way..." His eyes dropped to my lips before he pressed his chest against my aching breasts, making the tension much more powerful. "It's tempting, ma belle." He said the words as if he was caressing them on my skin—I felt the heat of them. "Sometimes, I lay at night wondering if I should take that offer because I can't seem to get my fill of you." He paused. "But doing that will cause pain, and I don't want to hurt you."

"Huh." He didn't want to hurt me. Funny how that wasn't in the contract, but here he was, acting noble when he was after something I wasn't willing to give. "So, instead, you're waiting around, hoping I'll change my mind," I provided the answers without blinking.

"Yes." He didn't deny it.

Well, too bad. My vagina wasn't open for business, not even for a man who made me feel this aroused with merely one look from him. He exuded a kind of power over me... Regardless, I knew better.

"That'll never happen, Hugo." This was all a game to him. I had become a challenge. The only thing I could hang on to was my love for Damen. I knew that would give me enough strength to fight this sexual attraction we both had for each other.

"Let's make a deal."

_"Another one?"_

"Spend some time with me—two weeks—and at the end of that, you can make your decision. Whatever it is, I promise to respect it and leave the subject alone." He seemed sincere enough.

But this was Hugo Xavier we were talking about. He had inherited an empire, which had the capacity to triple all of his riches. No doubt he was sharp and conniving. Trusting him would be unwise, yet declining this offer would lead him to play dirty, and I wasn't sure I could handle that. At least with this one, I could keep my guard up and come out proving him wrong.

"And?" I pressed with determination. "I have a feeling there's an _and_ attached to that sentence."

" _And_ you're bound to spend the rest of your time until the contract is up; babysitting, making coffee, driving me crazy from flaunting something I can't have." He seamlessly provided me with hope.

"That sounds too easy." I was a tad doubtful. After all, he had me in exchange for pardoning my father's debt of three hundred thousand Euros. To a man like him, it might not amount to much, but to me, it meant everything.

"We shall see. I have yet to seduce you, ma belle." His thumb brushed the bottom of my lip, making me tingle all over. It was as if he zapped electricity within me, sparking fireworks everywhere, in every pore of my body. "Maybe seducing you wouldn't be too easy."

Bloody shit. Why did he have to come out and make me feel like this was going to be the fight of my life? My mind was tortured enough; battling with my body's needs and wants would be another matter. Suffice it to say that, at the very end of this ruse, it would be _I_ who made the final decision. Believing this comforted me enough to stand my ground.

"Seduce away because this woman won't bat an eyelash even when you try."

He made a throaty, deep-bellied laugh. The sexy kind where a woman was bound to feel enthralled, staring at his throat, noticing how even he could make that look wholly enticing.

"I love your snarky cattiness, Isobel." He bestowed his über sexually charged kind of smile, making me weak in the knees.

"It only comes out when I feel threatened or vulnerable."

He seemed amused. "And which one are you? Threatened... or vulnerable?" He had that look that made me think he was about to kiss me but was trying hard not to.

"Neither. None of this is working for me, Hugo," I bluffed.

"Be that as it may..." he conceded but remained determined. "Are you up for the challenge, ma belle? It's only two weeks—fourteen days of your time—and since you're quite confident, this would be too easy for you not to resist."

He was right. Of course he was. Still, he remained persistent. Well, I could have my fun by proving him wrong time and time again.

"Fine, two weeks it is." I braced myself before giving him a dismissive look. "Anyhow, I better get going and start getting ready."

"Ready for what?" he questioned, appearing as if he wasn't ready to let me off the hook just yet. "Where are you going?"

"Babysitting duties."

He sighed. "Elena doesn't waste time, does she?" His expression changed into a worried one. "Watch her carefully, and don't let her get too drunk. She has a tendency to kiss whomever she finds attractive, which could mean the entire populace in attendance."

Was he joking? I'd think it, but his worrisome expression told me he wasn't bluffing. Damn. "She's that wild?"

"I wouldn't ask you to chaperone her if I thought she was angelic. Maybe she could learn a thing or two from you." He suddenly looked less serious. "Benoît will drive you both tonight."

Hmm, I doubted that.

"We shall see," I murmured for the last time before leaving him on the shore.

I went on my way towards the villa, ready to have fun tonight. Suddenly, this chaperone thing didn't look as awful as I'd thought it would be.

## Chapter Fourteen

# Hugo

It was ten at night, and I was in my home office adjacent to the library. Since Isobel and Elena weren't here and my other two women were gallivanting somewhere else for the time being, I was left to my own devices for the very first time, which I wasn't accustomed to.

For two hours, I'd been fighting the urge to see what Elena and Isobel were up to. But each time I felt like going, I would argue with myself that Isobel was entitled to have a little enjoyment since she'd lacked that ever since she had moved in with me.

The woman took precedence in my mind, and no matter how much I tried to diminish my want for her by occupying my time with the others, it only made the hunger worsen. Therefore, I was left with no choice other than to come to terms with this—that _this_ wouldn't go away until I found a solution. I hadn't had one until the woman herself had thrown a challenging look at me; one that would make any man who was consumed by wanting to possess something... a little crazy. I hadn't felt this way since I was in my early teens. She exhilarated me in a way that got me more fixated to prove her wrong.

She had admitted that her body responded to me, but she had chosen to ignore it. Because of Damen. Knowing the fact she was in love with another man didn't bother me an inch because I wasn't after her heart. This connection I had with her was primal and all about sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

My thoughts halted when my shrilling phone interrupted. Taking the phone out of my pocket, I took the call. "Bonsoir, Père." (Good evening, Father.)

"Julee just called to invite me to lunch with her tomorrow."

"Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet? She _is_ Maman's sister." Mother's been dead for over fifteen years now and still those two never got along. Neither one ever, as I recalled, had nice things to say to each other. They were always bickering.

It started when Julee was against my mother marrying him because she deemed him unworthy of her. She went out of her way to make that known by playing tricks on him, however my father was a determined man and kept pursuing my mother until the day she died. My father loved her more than anything, and when she had died during her ski trip with Julee and their friends, my father hadn't been the same since. Though he had moved on and dated, even remarried a couple of times, his heart had stayed true to my mother.

"You know I never liked her, but it was because of your mother that I tolerated her." He sounded exasperated, as if talking about Julee was draining all of his energy away. "She also mentioned a woman named Isobel. I'm assuming she's your new lover to pass the time by?"

Isobel was hardly a lover, let alone mine. Perhaps soon that would change. "Get to the point."

"You _know_ it's unwise."

Like I would ever forget. It was impossible to. He made sure of it. "Sherry and Chantel are very much in the picture. They're simply taking a break, vacationing in their chosen destination. This hiatus is merely temporary."

"Thank God," he grumbled loudly, relieved that whatever my Aunt Julee was speculating was merely that, a speculation. "I'm glad this is nothing serious, but pay heed, my son. Never make the same mistake again."

Every single time, like I would ever forget it. I wished things were different, but this was apparently our fate. One mistake was all it took before it became a domino effect for everyone. Even when I was indirectly involved, I, too, bore the brunt of his punishment.

"Why are we paying for sins that were made a decade ago? Isn't it enough that we've suffered and paid for the consequences?" It angered me to even think about it. I had attempted to end it, although the price that had come along with my ingenuousness had been high. It had taught me a lesson—that sometimes making a sacrifice was easier than putting other people's lives in danger. I would never make that same mistake again.

"Every day, I'm grateful that your mother wasn't alive to witness any of it."

"So am I," I made the same sentiment. "Well, I'm bidding you goodnight and try to play nice with Julee. Francois _did_ just divorce her."

"Julee... a delicate divorcee." He made a sardonic laugh. "Goodnight, son."

"Dormez bien, Père." (Sleep well.)

After hanging up on my father, my cell phone immediately buzzed to life again. This time it was Benoît. "Oui."

"Monsieur, I apologize to interrupt your night, but I lost sight of mademoiselle Elena and mademoiselle Isobel. The club is unexpectedly packed."

It was summer, of course it was. Then again, given Benoît's age and my less inclined desire to go to clubs, this most likely came as a shock to him. The issue I'd been contemplating had just been provided with an answer.

"I'm on my way," I said after he gave me the location.

Heading back towards Monaco, I recalled the moment when I was on my way upstairs from the living room after my short talk with Julee when I caught sight of Isobel in a scantily clad black dress; if one could even consider it as such. The scrap of cloth had hugged her slender form, leaving little imagination to any man who desired her. Even when we had gone out to the auction, she had been dressed accordingly, thus seeing her transformation had bothered me greatly. So much so that I had remained still, hidden from their view, and waited until they both had left to go party.

I could only account my shock to the fact she was young, and for some odd reason, this essential tidbit had escaped me each time I had seen her. Isobel was already beautiful, yet tonight, the word didn't suffice.

Once I arrived and entered the club, Benoît was there to greet me at the entrance, seeming out of place. "Go home. I'll take it from here." He tried to argue with my decision, but I was persistent for him to get some rest.

After he left, I immediately scanned the place as the music roared in my ears. For ten minutes, I scoured for them, however the place was too dark and the ever-changing, techni-colored laser lights made it harder to focus.

After another fifteen minutes, with still no sign of them, I was about to take my leave when something caught my eye. It was Elena. She was on the second floor, in the VIP section, dancing on top of the table... and Isobel was doing exactly the same thing.

I froze, watching her for a moment, when I felt all common sense leave my body before something else took precedence.

## Chapter Fifteen

# Isobel

"Uh-oh. I think someone's in big trouble," Elena whispered into my ear, teasing.

The music was so loud I couldn't grasp what she was saying, but when she pointed behind me and I turned around to check what she was mumbling about, I was surprised to find Hugo looking like he was Death's messenger.

Frowning, I stared at him, hoping he hadn't come here to break up our party. Because if he had, well, I wouldn't like that very much.

Touching Elena's shoulder to get her attention, I mouthed and pointed my thumb towards her cousin's direction, expecting she'd get the hint that I was going over to say hi. She shooed me away, grinning teasingly before she focused her attention to her other friends—all of whom consisted of men, by the way; a tidbit she had forgotten to mention.

Weaving my way towards Hugo, past the white curtains and a few private parties, I exhaled an exasperated sigh when the man didn't even move a muscle to meet me halfway. He simply waited, brooding sexily while those hypnotizing eyes of his didn't miss a beat in following me. Then, once I reached him, he kept on his mask of cool indifference without saying a word.

_Hell, is everything okay?_

"Is there an emergency?" I asked, almost yelling at him.

When he kept ignoring me, my patience immediately deteriorated. "All right. Well it was odd seeing you here... but I have to get back to my party. Hope you have a blast playing mannequin." I was being sarcastic, however I couldn't help it. He was being insufferable.

"Outside," he bit out. "We need to talk."

"Good to know your tongue is still intact." I folded my arms underneath my breasts, readying to fight back. As far as I was concerned, I hadn't done anything wrong. Thus, for him to come here acting like a complete arse was completely unjustified.

Strutting away, he didn't look back to see if I was trailing behind him. He merely kept on striding ahead. The more he acted like a pompous dick, the more colorful my anger became—from warm to dark, to all shades of red.

Passing the entrance, I wasn't really surprised the people who worked here knew him, and they all chimed respectively as he passed them by, bidding him well for the night. He probably was a patron, notorious for his lavish lifestyle and bountiful supply of temporary girlfriends.

The fresh air hitting my warm skin did nothing to soothe my mood. Apparently, he had parked his car a few doors down, and when his Bugatti Veyron came into view, he immediately unlocked it, showing no mercy.

"Get in the car," he commanded in a tone I shouldn't question. Well, he was out of luck tonight because I wasn't in the mood to be bossed around like a brainless bimbo.

"No."

Oooh, the "no" truly got to him.

_"Merde! Get in the bloody car, Isobel!"_ He looked murderous yet sexy with his five o'clock shadow and dark, mysterious eyes.

Although, as gorgeous as I found him, it wasn't enough incentive for him to order me about.

"Which part of no, don't you understand?" I was tipsy—buzzed—not an idiot. I wanted to infuriate him more, for some odd reason. Maybe it was the way he was reacting—or overreacting—which was just so unusual. Call it curiosity or whatever, but I yearned to see more fire in him. I wanted to stoke his temper until he cracked and burst into flames. "What's the problem, Hugo Xavier?" I mocked him further. "Are you the man or the mannequin?"

"My problem is _you_ , Isobel," he finally said after a full minute.

Of all the things I had expected to hear him say, that was something I hadn't seen coming.

He rounded the car, bearing the same expression on his face, before he stood before me, looking far and beyond disappointed.

"I expected more from you. And seeing how you loved the attention of the men ogling what was underneath your skirt..." he paused, nose flaring as he gave me a cutting look, "I didn't see you as a flirty devil may care kind of slut."

My rose tinted lips hung ajar, shocked from his verbal accusations. "I beg your pardon?" I shook my head in disbelief, uncertain if I should strangle him or kick him to the curb. "How dare you! How. Bloody. Dare. You!"

"I fucking _dare_ because you're mine!" he growled loudly, uncaring if there was an audience about, willing to eavesdrop. "For the next twenty three weeks, you are solely mine and mine alone! And I don't appreciate you flaunting and flirting what is rightfully mine." He punctuated each word as if it was the law.

_Hold on,_ I thought as I blinked rapidly, hoping I was hallucinating his word vomit.

"Tell me that you're drunk and needed a good laugh. Because the rubbish that's coming out of your twisted mouth is rather nauseating."

A dry laugh came out of him, looking less amused. "How about _you_ tell me that you're drunk, which is why you danced on the table like you worked for a strip club."

If I could produce steam, it would've come out of my ears already. The bastard had just crossed the proverbial line. So I slapped him. _Hard._ The stinging hot impact of my palm smacking against his cheek wasn't satisfying enough, though.

"First off, this _is_ temporary. I signed to be your plaything, but under no circumstances did it state that I'm to be your property," I grated out with my finger pressing against his chest. "I have my own mind; it's _my_ right to do whatever I want to do. I don't care about what you think. In fact, go ahead and think of me as a slut. I don't bloody care! To hell with your barbaric mentally—"

I was in the middle of my overture when the bastard kissed me like I was his possession.

I was royally mad yet wickedly aroused. Dear God, the bastard could kiss. He kissed me in a way that felt like all my thoughts and all the mechanics of my brain had melted away, and all I could fathom was his lips and how he made me feel.

Then, out of nowhere, I felt something vibrate.

It was his phone.

Snapping out of my entranced funk, I yanked my lips away from him before I gasped for air, finding it hard to believe what had just occurred between us. "What the— _you fucking kissed me!_ " I hissed at him accusingly, beyond mortified.

"What? It's not in the _contract,_ too?"

My heart was galloping madly against my chest, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't deny the fact I had responded to his kiss. However, I couldn't let it happen again.

Breathing raggedly, I felt the shame and horror of what had happened. The situation between us was getting out of hand. We were supposed to be indifferent to each other. This odd, zinging connection shouldn't be toyed with; it was too dangerous. Besides, too much was at risk, and I couldn't lose the only person that had kept me going all this time. Fancying Hugo wasn't part of the equation.

"You—you shouldn't do that."

He seemed unperturbed as he cupped my face and stared into me. "I don't care," he fiercely murmured. "So sue me."

I nervously panted, feeling out of my depth. Words of protest formed into mind, but he managed to hijack my thoughts for the second time the moment he connected his lips with mine once more. This time, he devoured me like a meal, consuming me whole.

His kiss was rough, yet it held sweetness. It was as hard as it was passionate. It was as much fire as it was ice. It drowned me as it floated me into thin air. The world spun, and in that instant, I felt everything. He made me feel everything, vibrating it through my veins, all over my body.

He paused with our lips pressing against each other. "Isobel..." he groaned out, sounding pained.

With my eyes closed, I felt at the tip of surrender, but there was still a little fight in me. "What are you doing?"

"I've tried to stop, but I'm done fighting it," he confessed with ferocity, with passion. "I want you," he vehemently promised. " _All of you_."

Dammit. I was at a loss for words because it felt like he was making a declaration to a lover, not to a woman he barely knew.

"Hugo—" I tried to argue, but he immediately placed a finger on my lips to stop me.

"Two weeks." He was reminding me of what I had promised him earlier this afternoon. "You have two weeks to think about it."

I was at a war with myself. Mind and body fighting at both ends. I was beyond conflicted, staggering between the one I lusted after and the one I loved.

"Do you trust me?"

I didn't require thinking about my answer. "Yes." I nodded, whispering, "I trust you."

"Then spend the night with me."

Okay, I needed to slow down—to think for a second. Besides, I hadn't come here alone.

"What about Elena? She's probably wondering where I am."

My excuses went unnoticed. "She's with her friends. She'll be fine," he persisted, unwilling to allow anything to stop him from accomplishing his goal.

"Okay." I nodded, hating myself for allowing this route to progress, though I somehow felt compelled to.

He was breaking the rules, but how far would he go to get what he wanted?

## Chapter Sixteen

# Isobel

During the drive back to his villa, we both kept to ourselves. From time to time, I'd see him through my peripheral vision, giving me lingering glances.

My mind ran amuck.

Because, if the encounter we'd had earlier was simply part of the deal we'd agreed upon, it would've been fine. However, it sure as hell didn't feel like it was. The business arrangement was no more and where we were at the moment was at a standstill. We had reached a stalemate.

_I'm done fighting it._ His words dug deep into my heart, but I wasn't done fighting this—whatever this _thing_ was we had. His admission should be enough to tell me how complicated this was going to get. Moreover, as much as I wanted to deny him, there was a piece of me yearning to know him. We were always at odds, and apart from the physical attraction, we had nothing else going on. Yet here we were, pondering. Contemplating.

I had never been in this situation where I despised someone while my heart would thump ever so loudly when he was near. Was this what they called love-hate? Craving someone you didn't even like? Or was that lunacy?

The thought of what might happen tonight terrified me, although I couldn't seem to stop myself. There was simply something about him. Maybe it was the air of mystery he had around him, or the way he looked at me. I mean, _really_ looked at me like I was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. Or maybe because he'd been teasing me from the start, building this need, _this palpable tension_ from the ground up until I was pouring out desperation and curiosity.

What did I really know? Hugo was the kind of man who always got what he wished for, and he had admitted he wanted me.

_All_ of me.

When he had declared that earlier, whatever decisions I hadn't been sure about before had all gone down the drain. The answer had dawned on me, causing me to feel helpless from not being able to stop this wild ride I was embarking on with Hugo Xavier, playboy extraordinaire. This was it. After tonight, I would have to own up to my mistakes.

Taking a peek at his profile, I knew there was no way out of this without getting hurt, one way or the other. Undeterred, I rested my head against the headrest and continued watching him as he drove... breathed... lived.

"Why can't I resist you?" I finally whispered, breaking his concentration.

He made an arresting smile. "Think, long and hard," he said, giving me a quick glance. "Three years ago. London, winter of 2011."

I frowned, confused about what he'd just said. London? In 2011?

"What are you talking about?"

"The first time we met."

"I've never met you until I went into that office in The Riviera." It couldn't be. I had perpetually been busy with Damen. I had wondered if there was something truly familiar about Hugo, but I hadn't been able to come up with anything.

"If you say so," he easily dismissed his claim, making me a little mad.

I made a strangled, groaning sound. "Dammit, Hugo. Now's not the time to mess with my mind."

Releasing a breath, he concentrated on the road before he responded to me. "I didn't remember, actually, until a few days ago. There was something familiar about you, yet I couldn't seem to grasp where and how it came about."

_2011..._ I pondered as the villa came into view. I continued trying to recall, but nothing came to light. Frustrated, I didn't ask him again until we were parked and out of the car.

"You know I won't stop asking until you tell me the truth," I said as I watched him close my door.

He leaned me against the Bugatti, trapping me with his body as both of his hands situated against the top of the car, giving me only a small amount of breathing space. "If you don't remember, then I don't see the point of it."

"You aren't being fair."

The back of his knuckles softly brushed against my jaw as he stared at my lips. "With you, I am being more than fair. My appetites are ravenous, but I've sacrificed my pleasures to pursue you."

Sacrificed? What did he mean by that?

"You could take me, but you always seem hesitant."

"I could," he breezily said without hesitation. "But I don't want to steal that, ma belle. I want you to give it to me, _willingly_. No contract or obligations, but free will."

This truly made sense, and at the same time, it was troubling because he wanted so much more from me.

"What if you're unable to make me give it to you, _willingly_? What then?"

"I'm man enough to know when to admit defeat," he murmured before teasing his lip against my ear. "But you must know I won't give up until I know there's no hope for me."

"You seem very determined," I quietly observed, admiring his perseverance a little.

No man had made it a mission to pursue me like this. I wouldn't lie, either; I felt special. Though I should know better than to feel that, especially since the man was known for being a playboy. Yet here I was, letting his words affect me.

"Meet me on the shore, at the bottom of the stairs in five minutes." His kiss on my nose made me blush like I was on my first date. "Stay there and don't even think of going anywhere else."

Oh my, what did he have planned?

"Okay." I felt shy and virginal all of a sudden, which was truly ridiculous because I was far from one.

His eyes glimmered before striding into the villa, while I, on the other hand, took the route towards the garden where the stairs going to the beach were located.

I didn't take off my shoes until I reached the stairs. One by one, I pulled off my strappy heels and sighed with pleasurable relief when my soles were greeted by the cold cement. Before descending, I stared ahead at the dark sea with the moon appearing to be big and yellow on the horizon. Stars usually littered above, but tonight, the moon was the sole provider of light.

I took my time going all the way to the bottom, smiling when my feet touched the sand. The waves rolled with a soft hush and the air was still.

"You're smiling."

Swiftly spinning around to face him, I felt my cheeks burn at the sight of him. Except for the trousers, he was gloriously and deliciously bare. My eyes devoured him, itching to trace his wonderfully chiseled chest.

"I didn't hear you come."

"It's one of my many gifts," he teased.

_I wonder what other gifts he has,_ I thought cheekily. He was playful and charming and quite irresistible. No sane woman could go unaffected, myself included.

"Come sit with me and help me enjoy this vintage champagne." He lifted his left hand that held the bottle in a silver wine cooler before he chose a spot to sit.

Strolling towards him, I tried to sit with my small dress as graciously as it allowed, showing more thigh as it rode up almost to my butt.

"That dress is criminal on you." His eyes scrutinized every inch of my body.

It was merely a piece of cloth; however, the power it exuded was limitless.

"Is that why you acted like a complete arse earlier?"

He shrugged, looking away as he took a bottle opener that had been stabbed in the ice from the bucket.

Peeling off the top seal of the bottle, he gave me a knowing look. "I desire you," he professed for the second time tonight. "I don't share, nor do I want other men to see what's intended for my eyes only."

My throat ran dry. If the possessiveness in his tone didn't bother me a little, I would've appreciated the poetic tone of his words.

"You're quite a possessive man. How do women tolerate you?"

"You'll know soon enough," he murmured as I looked away.

The cork popped from the bottle before the white foam oozed out of it. He then handed me the bottle. "Ladies first."

I smirked at his random show of being less chic and grand before taking a swig.

"Drinking champagne from the bottle," I observed with a hint of teasing, handing him the bottle. "Are you sure you won't be booted out of Monaco's elite circle?"

"My lifestyle's answer enough to tell you I don't follow the rules. I bend them however I see fit." He toasted the bottle before me. "Cheers to you and your irresistible beauty. May you bless me with thee."

I barked out a laugh. "You're mad."

"What can I say? A woman who's beautiful, catty, sharp with eyes so blue they sometimes turn purple, who's also unafraid to speak her mind and constantly likes to push my limits is a true weakness of mine."

That was me, summed into a paragraph.

Feeling as if the mood had shifted to something more, I opted to change the subject, delaying the inevitable. "Since you're being honest tonight, mind telling me about London, 2011?"

"I'd rather you figure that mystery out all by yourself."

Well, I wasn't giving up just yet. I'd try again tomorrow.

"I'll eventually drag it out of you."

"We shall see."

"We shall." I took the bottle from him because it was my turn to drink. Staring at my toes digging into the cool sand, I took a sip, wondering loudly, "Where did Chantel and Sherry go? I mean, I know you said they went to travel somewhere because of your aunt, but where is that _exactly_?"

"Sherry actually ended up going to Bali. Chantel chose the Caribbean. The penthouse was too confiding for them." Hugo shifted himself. Instead of facing the sea, he chose to face my profile. "When they arrive in two weeks time, I'm letting them both go."

The pin dropped. Instantly, I snapped my neck to gaze at him, horrified. "What are you trying to say?" I asked, aghast, hoping he'd say something that made sense because he'd been revealing far more than I was prepared for.

"I want you," he stated without hesitation. "So in my plan of pursuit, I'm going on abstinence until you're ready for me." He was absolutely cavalier about it.

Huh. Well, he was in for a long haul. Kissing was one thing, sex was a whole other complicated matter entirely—one I wasn't ready to share with anyone other than Damen. Hugo simply was stuck at believing he could attain whatever he wanted because women probably had the trouble of saying no to his wishes. His desire for me could also be used as a weapon; if I manipulated it right, it could be my leverage.

"Really? And when was the last time you went without sex?" There was no doubt the man didn't go without. From what I had seen in the library that one afternoon, he was as insatiable and hot blooded as they came.

He made a smirk, lighting his face up while his eyes danced with amusement. "Never."

"You won't survive it." Exactly. He wouldn't last a day. "Why even put yourself in that predicament?"

"Because you'll be worth it," he said in a casual manner, as if it was already a given.

"Hmmm... you shouldn't be too confident about that because I'm going to crush that little hope you're challenging yourself in attaining. Besides, even if you proved me wrong, I'm not really skilled in that department, so you're going to be sorely disappointed."

He was changing the game—the agreement—and it was startling how quickly the tide was shifting between us. He was moving fast with no signs of slowing down.

"I've never been denied of anything until you came along. I'm more than willing to put a pause to my sexual endeavors to pursue a much more satisfying one." His finger caressed the base of my neck, trailing it along my shoulder blade, all the way down to my fingertips before hooking his forefinger with my own. "You're trying to make me change my mind, and I'm telling you now, that's very much unlikely."

How did I counter that? Not only was I having an inner battle with myself, but I was also getting less and less confident my mind and reason would be enough to fight against my body's urges. Damen was in my heart; however, he also wasn't here and wouldn't be in my life for the next months to come.

"Fancy a quick swim?" he broke into my thoughts, looking mighty wicked before adding, "Naked." He then stood up before me, offering his hand.

His hand was strong, big and masculine, and the thought of having those hands all over me didn't help with my struggle. "You're not subtle in your intentions, are you?"

"I have indecent motives, true, but I won't touch you until you grant me the permission to," he swore just as I raised my brow, doubting him, before he made a dashing, panty-dropping smile. "I give you my word."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

## Chapter Seventeen

# Hugo

Just as I was about to pull my pants down, Isobel started to have second thoughts, rattled at the notion of going au naturel.

"What if there's a speed boat passing through? What then?"

"Then they see us naked. Who cares?" Her shyness was something I wasn't used to from women. It was refreshing to see. "Live a little. Consider this a hiatus from your regular life; a free pass to indulge in things you usually wouldn't consider." Also the fact I was a selfish man who loved to torture himself by staring at her body like a true pervert, imagining what it would be like to sheath myself inside her moist tunnel.

"Be reckless, you mean? But that's just not me—"

She tried to argue, but I cut her off, proving it with an example. "Signing that contract wasn't like you either, but you did it anyway." It was fate when she'd happened to be the daughter of the man who just so happened to owe the casino money.

Isobel shook her head, adamant about making a point. "That's different."

"Not entirely. What you did was risky. I could've been a man who gets pleasures from hurting women, or a man with serial killer capabilities, yet you took a chance, trusting I would take care of you."

"I didn't really have that much choice... My father isn't an easy man to deal with," she insisted with vehemence before chugging another gulp from the bottle.

"We always have a choice, Isobel." She needed to know that in case her father kept using her to pay off his gambling habit. "Whether it's right or wrong, _you_ always have an option."

She broke into a beaming smile, looking up at me with pure sincerity.

"Thank you for taking a chance with me. I know it's odd to be thanking you, but now that you've revealed that you won't do anything until I allow you to... well, not a lot of men would be that noble." Pressing her lips together, she whispered another gratitude, "So, thank you."

"I did tell you I have a weakness for beautiful, catty, sharp women, with eyes so blue they sometimes turned purple, who's also unafraid to speak her mind and constantly likes to push my limits."

Her smile was pure beauty. I wished she'd do so more often. I'd give her whatever she wanted when she looked at me that way—serene and impressionable.

The catty and feisty attitude turned me on like a raging lunatic, yet this, too, had the power to drive my lust to epic proportions. One way or the other, I wanted her with a passion. Like a flip of a switch, so did my objective.

"You know, you could further thank me by swimming with me."

Rolling her eyes, she feigned an exasperated sigh. "All right, but I'm leaving my underwear on." She sharpened her eyes at me, as if in warning of some sort.

I'll take whatever she'd throw at me.

"Whatever you feel comfortable in." I was a rabid dog with an unfathomable hunger that only burned for one particular person. It was as if my nature and my senses came together when with her.

Pulling the zipper down on the side of her chest, she eyed me warily. "It's weird that I feel shy doing this even though you've seen me naked before."

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, awaiting the striptease, but her hesitation made me concede to giving her a little space. Emphasis on little. "I'll pretend like I'm a gentleman and go in first."

Walking into the water until it was around my hips, I dove into the dark sea before I came up for air and swam farther out. The water was cool, a refreshing change for my heated body. The summer heat was crucial earlier today, and in those times, a dip in the sea was mandatory.

Taking a gulping breath, I spun around towards the beach as I pedaled to stay afloat. The beach was empty. Where had she gone?

"Isobel?" I called out, keeping still as I tried to adjust my eyesight. I was about a little over a kilometer out in the sea; therefore, my vision wasn't as clear as I'd hoped. _"Isobel!"_ I bellowed again, but this time, I heard a small reply.

"I'm right over here." Her voice was a great distance away. "Where are you?"

Scouring the dark sea as I swam with slight, silvery rays of the moon to lighten my sight, there was still a vast area that was shaded, and I desperately needed to make sure of where she was.

"Stay where you are and keep talk—"

She made a startling yelp, almost stopping my heart. "Oh, fuck! _Something touched my leg!_ " She made an alarming screech. _"Hugo, something's out there!"_

"Don't move." I swam towards her, following the echo of her voice. "I'm coming."

"Hugo, please hurry!" she screamed, but this time with pure terror. "I just saw a fin! _Oh my God, I saw a bloody fin!_ I'm going to die. _I'm going to die!_ " She kept chanting that she was dying.

Her alarmed voice sent a chill all over my body, making me feel truly frightened for the first time in over a decade. The small splashes of water done by her panicky arms made me halt for a second as I noticed the dorsal fin slicing briskly about her before it disappeared again.

Then _,_ I barked out a laugh as I reached for her, wrapping my arms around her as I held her close. "Relax. It's only a dolphin." I kissed her forehead as relief spread all over me. "The Rissos dolphin feeds at night, and they have a long dorsal fin, so I guess it's easy to assume it's a shark circling about you for its next meal."

"That's not funny. I truly, really was frightened." She sobbed, a little frazzled.

_Pauvre bébé_. (Poor baby.) She looked so scared she had tears in her eyes. Wiping them away, I kissed her nose while trying to reassure her. "Even if it were a shark, you can't blame it for wanting to have a taste; you're quite a delectable treat," I teased, watching as the fright slowly ebbed away from her eyes.

She lightly tapped my chest before resting her head against it. "I almost had a heart attack. Be nice." Then she pulled her head back, taking a peek at me. "Since when did you know so much about dolphins anyway?"

"I swim a lot at night during the summer months."

"This is actually nice," she murmured, as she unknowingly sought for more warmth from my chest. "But do you mind if we're closer to the shore? I don't like being all the way out here in the open. It's like baiting ourselves to be eaten alive for the next hungry predator that happens to be nearby."

"I'm a predator, and I'm famished." Her breasts were squished against me, and it was getting increasingly difficult to resist her by the second.

"In a different circumstance, I would've quivered, but now's not the time to put the moves on me." She swam away, heading towards the beach while I followed closely behind, needing to draw more of this drug from her.

Once she felt safe from the "predators," as she'd put it, she tilted her head back, staring into the sky above, while my eyes centered on the two creamy orbs before me.

"So... I make you quiver," I asked, wanting to delve more into that detail. "Tell me more about it."

"You don't let up, do you?"

"Your admission just took me by surprise."

Her long hair floated around her while her breasts thrust forward. She reminded me of a siren. _La belle sirène_.

She made a dry laugh. "Why should it? I mean, come on, you know you're sexy and shit."

"Sexy and shit," I mused at her choice of words.

"You're beautiful and shit—" She then bit her lip, as if she didn't mean for the words to come out, while her cheeks blushed profusely. Her eyes dropped to my lips, concentrating on them.

"Take a chance," I said huskily, hoping she'd follow her urges. "Touch me. _Kiss me_." I moved closer, just enough to feel the slightest touch of her nipples against my chest. The contact made me delirious. _"I dare you."_

Her breathing turned shallow as she moved her lips a hairsbreadth from my own hungry ones. If she kissed me once, she was done. I wouldn't stop until we both released some of this tension, one way or another.

In a second, my wish came true, ending my beautiful torment. I gave her a minute—one torturous minute of reeling in the animal that had been unleashed by a mere kiss from her—before I took charge.

Since we were close to shore, I lifted her body to wrap it around mine without breaking our lips apart from their fevered kisses. From there, I carried her to where we'd left the bottle, right next to the bucket, before I splayed her on the sand. Hovering above her, I sought eye contact, needing to see her. In her luminous, dilated depths came reassurance that she _did_ trust me.

"Close your eyes and keep them shut, _mon amant_." She did as I asked, and for a moment, I let my eyes worship her, _savor her_. She was ready for whatever I had planned for her, however I had made a promise, and as much as it pained me to harness my hunger, I had to pass this test to fully earn her trust.

Reaching inside the wine cooler, I captured a cube before I softly brushed it against her aroused nipple. The sheer, cooling contact made her gasp.

"Do you like ice, Isobel?" I croaked out, feeling helpless when my cock became too painful to bear. Still, I kept on with the sweet torment. The ice was melting, therefore I let the drip trickle on her stomach as she started to shift and moan.

Her legs were parted, and I couldn't help myself from reaching to touch her there. Pushing her thong aside, I slightly rubbed her with my thumb. "May I taste you, mon amant?"

She was breathing erratically as she made a hesitant nod. It was all I needed to bunch up the thong in my hand before wrenching it off her. The sudden move made her gasp, although before she could protest, I inserted the ice cube inside her pussy, driving her into a little tizzy.

"Savor the sensation, ma belle. Don't stop until you come in my mouth."

Parting her legs wider, I situated my head between her legs before softly blowing air along her slit. The ice was melting inside her, and the melted water slowly dripped out of her entrance. Using the tip of my tongue, I flicked it back forth, letting the water soak onto my tongue before I swallowed and tasted her. I let out a grunting sound then let my mouth delve into her folds, relishing every bit of her relentlessly... harshly.

"Hugo— _God!_ " she shrieked before both of her hands grasped the back of my head and used it to gyrate on my mouth, making her scream in pleasure.

## Chapter Eighteen

# Isobel

"Is this what you do all day; stare into oblivion?" Julee interrupted my shortened reverie.

I wasn't technically staring into oblivion as she'd spitefully put it. I was merely thinking about what had occurred last night with Hugo.

After I had embarrassingly come for the umpteenth time, I had been too out of it to use any strength to function, let alone walk. Consequently, he had carried me in his arms and brought me to my room where he'd run a bath for both of us and washed me. I had never felt like I was being taken care of that way. It was sweet and something out of the ordinary, especially coming from a man like Hugo. Nevertheless, I had lavished in it, falling in and out of sleep in the nook of his neck and chest. I didn't even remember getting into bed with him. However, when I had woken up this morning, I'd noticed the indent on the other pillow.

"I'm throwing an event at The Riviera. A task that was done by my sister, Celeste, but after she passed, I carried on the project," she informed me, even though I couldn't care less what she was talking about. The woman was purely horrid.

Not getting the clue she was unwanted, she kept on pestering me. "If you're not doing much else, you could be of help."

Oh, she was asking for my help when a little less than twenty four hours ago she had accused me of being an ill-mannered gold digger? Seriously. How about not?

"I'll think about it, Julee. I have a lot going on at the moment," I responded with a subtle tinge of sarcasm, since it was quite obvious to anyone around here I practically didn't do much until Hugo bossed me about.

Julee gave me a scathing look, eyeing me up and down as if I was a cockroach she wanted to squash with her heel, before she lifted her snobbish chin and harried away.

Shaking my head, I was about to get up to go to the kitchen in search for some sweets when my phone rang on the table.

"Hello?"

"Ça va, ma belle?" (How are you, my beautiful?) His sexy, French voice filtered through the phone, making me feel all sorts of arousal.

Stifling my weird reaction to his raspy bedroom voice, I focused on his question. "I'm doing well. And you? I didn't realize you'd slept with me last night until this morning."

He made a deep laugh, causing me to react all the more. Damn this overheated body. Last night was intense, but I didn't expect myself to go haywire each time he called me, too. I mean, it was bad enough when he was around me.

"Does it bother you that I shared your bed?"

Well...yes, it did. But instead of saying that, I ended up telling him something else, "I don't know. I was asleep." The image of him holding me close kept appearing in my mind, and each time it did, I'd get these butterflies in my stomach.

"I didn't intend to, but when you asked me not to go, I couldn't resist the invitation, either."

What? I had asked him to stay? How come I couldn't remember it? I mean, I remember falling asleep on his chest in the bathtub while he was washing me, but that was where my memory stopped.

"Oh... Well, I don't remember that part."

Hugo made a toe-curling laugh. "I'd love to do more of that every night if you like. I love how you taste on my tongue, ma belle."

Flashbacks of the beach and him in between my legs—the carnal images of us—left me panting, _breathless_.

"We're invited to go to a yacht party tonight. I'll be home at five, and we can leave around six. Is that good enough time for you to get ready?"

"Yes, it should be enough."

"You're all I thought about today, and I can't wait to see you again tonight," he said, sounding like he truly meant it. "Dress for me tonight, Isobel." It was the last thing he said before he hung up, leaving me wondering what had just taken place in that conversation.

Dress for him? Damen had never asked me that before. How did one dress for a man? I had no clue how to perceive his request. I wasn't sure if he meant not wearing underwear or dress like a slut, though maybe the latter. He did go berserk with that small dress I wore last night. I think it even drove him over to the edge.

He was the _mine_ kind of guy. Possessive and extremely demanding and, not to mention, dominating. The kind of man I had told myself I wasn't attracted to, and yet, here I was, undeniably attracted to the man who was the epitome of it. I was a hypocrite. No, scratch that—I was a confused hypocrite. Because, as much as I told myself not to give in an inch, there was something about him I couldn't resist, either.

Take a chance.

Touch me.

Kiss me.

_I dare you._

I had dared to kiss him. Every inch of me had sung, had been alive, when I pressed my lips against his. It was like a magnet, I couldn't help being drawn to him, even if I was protesting, kicking and screaming all the way. I still ended up in his arms. God help me because, when he was doing all those things to me and my body, all I could think about was him. It was beyond troubling, to say the least, that the man I loved didn't enter my conscience whatsoever.

"How did it go with Hugo last night?" Elena sprung out of nowhere, joining me on the outdoor patio before pulling the chair across from me and sitting comfortably. "I've never seen him that angry with any of his girlfriends before."

Smiling at her, I shook my head in denial. "You're being silly." If she only knew what had gone on between Hugo and I last night... I still couldn't fathom how easily tempted and persuaded I had been to let him have a meal of me out in the open. I hadn't been able to stop him because he had been weaving magic through my veins, and I was still feverish from it. The aftereffects of being served a healthy dose of Hugo Xavier- _ism_.

"Men can't take it when their women are hot and naughty."

I wasn't Hugo's woman, but Elena didn't know that.

"He was just being weird."

"Weird? Or maybe he really likes you," she pressed on with colorful exaggeration. "Or maybe you're the one for him. I mean, he looked angry and devastated at the same time. Poor cousin, if I wasn't so shocked about his reaction, I might've laughed and teased him about it, but that would've been cruel."

"The one? Uhhh, no." I stared back at her, beyond stunned. "We're just having fun, and come on, have you forgotten this is your _cousin_ we're talking about here? The great Hugo Xavier."

"I'm telling you, you're different. So even if you believe it or not, just be prepared. 'Cause my cousin has his own way of handling things. Be careful, though, because once you mess up, he'll leave you, and you wouldn't even know it until it's too late."

Well, that was a lot to wrap my mind around. Nevertheless, whatever happened between Hugo and I, I was still walking out when the contract was up.

## Chapter Nineteen

# Isobel

Searching for the perfect dress wasn't a problem, nor was getting ready or figuring out the best way to do my hair that would complement my dress. My problem was _me._ Because, the entire time I was getting ready, I could hear Hugo's voice saying, "Dress for me tonight, Isobel." And I was the idiot who chose something that I knew would please the blasted man. So, yes, I was worried because I couldn't even help myself. If I was spiraling slowly, how long would it take until Hugo fully succeeded with his mission? This was day two with twelve more days to go. Could it be possible that I had bitten off more than I could chew?

Aside from my questionable emotional and mental state where Hugo was concerned, the dress I chose to wear for the yacht party tonight wasn't overkill. Though, it was definitely a dress one would end up truly being ravished by her lover in by the end of the evening.

It was champagne colored with Swarovski crystals sewn into the dress. The thin straps on my shoulders went all the way down mid-back and crisscrossed to the base. The top fit me like a second skin while the bottom was cut short but gave enough room to wiggle about when dancing. It was provocative, alluring, and downright eye-catching. And I had never felt such feminine power until I saw myself in the mirror.

With my hair in a loose, messy chignon, golden neutral strokes of eye makeup, and gold, strappy Louboutins, I had to do a double take just to make sure the amazing transformation was actually me and not some odd-like dream because the woman staring back at me had serious sex bombshell written all over her. A playful smile broke from my lips as I admired my spanking new look.

"You look stunning, ma belle."

I jumped at the sound of his voice. I twisted my head around and spotted him leaning against the slightly parted doorframe. His dark eyes were enough to tell me that he approved of my outfit.

And, hell, could he look any _more_ irresistible?

My eyes drank him in as the feeling in my gut became this hollow feeling while my heart constricted. His presence singularly disarmed me. His charisma was quite lethal. His gorgeous appeal was deadly to my hormones.

He wore a black bowtie with his black, formal outfit. His wet hair was coarsely brushed to the back, evoking that rugged, devil-may-care sex appeal.

"Aren't you going to come here and say hi?" My question surprised me more than it did him because his lazy smile which oozed _hot sex and danger_ was in place as he strode towards me.

Once he reached me in the middle of the room, he stepped into my comfort zone, lifting my chin towards him, eyes wild and beautiful. "I was going to say hi, but I needed a moment to appreciate you from afar."

Seriously, he was giving me a massive dose of you-make-me-so-hot-I-want-to-drink-you-in-one-gulp. It was predatory, and it made me aware of him in all of the wrong yet _right_ tingling places.

"What?" I mumbled with my heart pitter-pattering madly against my chest. I felt faint just to have him near me.

"Bonjour, Isobel." He said in such a way it sounded more of a caress to my senses. He was inducing a response from me that I had not an utter clue as to where and how it had come about. I felt hypnotized, enthralled by this very man himself. "What's wrong, ma belle?" He raised his brow when my mouth parted a little but no sound came out.

Why? Because I had been bloody rendered speechless. Not only did he look mighty delicious, but he seemed to have taken over me. My skin prickled from awareness of him. It's _him_. Everywhere. Around. Me. It was perplexing and frustrating, yet my senses were beyond captivated by his powerful magnetism.

"Hugo..." I whispered, flushing when I realized that I sounded more aroused than I had ever heard myself in my entire existence.

He stepped closer, our lips almost touching, his eyes holding mine, seeming like he was waiting for something.

"You _feel_ it now. This is why I can't resist you, ma belle." His eyes flickered back and forth before he engulfed me with his passion through his perfervid kiss.

I was putty in his hands. However, my mind raced, wondering how in the world he could influence me so. Even Damen, though we had such a loving relationship, didn't bring out this side of me. That's why I'd had no idea it existed. It felt forbidden, but I wanted more of it. What did that make me?

"There." He eyed me after he parted from my swollen lips. "You look branded as mine now."

Fuck. I better snap out of this trance before I dug myself so deep in the shithole I wouldn't be able to manage to get out of it when time came for me to pack my belongings and go back to my old life.

_This_ was temporary, best not to let my mind forget that rather essential detail.

* * *

* * *

The night started glamorous and lavish as expected. It wasn't as if I wasn't at all aware of how this sort of lifestyle went about, but normally, I was the outsider. Tonight, I was a part of it, and it was truly different from what I had expected. With Hugo at my side, I felt a different kind of rush when women gave those hateful, vying looks directed towards me. I certainly wasn't used to it.

Hugo gently placed a hand on the side of my hips and pulled me close to whisper in my ear while my eyes wandered about, basking in the beauty and the over-abundance of style and beautiful people onboard. "We've been invited by Jacques. You met him at the gala. This yacht is owned by one of his best friends who's going to be racing with him tomorrow. His name is—"

"Luca de Medici," I finished the sentence as I spotted the rogue playboy from afar, talking to his friends, appealingly in good spirits.

"Oh. _You know him?_ " He sounded pretty surprised.

"No, I don't know him personally, but I know _of_ him." I paused, my gaze taking in the man in question with one appreciative glance. "Everyone does." Who wouldn't notice those emerald green eyes, the scruff, and the smile that meant to drill holes in your underwear? And goodness, the tabloids did no justice when you saw the enigmatic man in real life.

Hugo's fingers dug into the fabric of my dress and right into my sensitive skin. "Is it really necessary to stare at him while I'm right next to you?" he furiously hissed. "Save me some pride, Isobel. Have some decorum."

I frowned. "Are you being serious?" I gave him a disbelieving glare before it totally sunk in that he meant each word. " _Oh,_ you totally are." His handsome face merely darkened at my close scrutiny. "I don't get you and your jealous streak. It baffles me," I said out loud without thought. His expression didn't look pleased. In fact, it looked downright murderous.

"How about we save this conversation for a later date? I truly don't want to spend the rest of my night pondering such a question."

My, why was he acting odd? Could it be that the magnificent Hugo Xavier felt a pinch of envy because I was fawning over Luca de Medici? That surely tickled my fancy.

"Well, shouldn't we say hi? You still need to introduce me. This is just so exciting."

"Really, Isobel." The slashing look he gave me made my smile even wider.

Pretending to look exasperated, I thought of teasing him a little. "Oh, calm your arse down. Would it make you feel better if I told you that I think you're sexier than him?" A playful smile tugged at my lips.

"I might, _if_ you meant it." He definitely hadn't bought it.

"Well..." I trailed off, "let me think about that."

Seeing him reacting this way was making me all sorts of wicked. A man with his looks and power could do as he pleased, but here he was, acting like a cute, handsome fool for _me_.

"Witch," he muttered under his breath before he unceremoniously cupped his hands on the sides of my head and kissed me right in the middle of the party. It wasn't one of those hasty kisses which seem sweet and gentle. This one meant ownership, making it known to the rest of the people around that we were here together and couldn't get enough of one another. Because, yes, I couldn't get enough of his drugging kisses. Because, yes, I was guilty of taking pleasure in letting the rest of the women here know he was with me.

He drove me crazy. He drove me to the point of madness. Yet, with one kiss from him, everything went blurry.

The kiss went on and on. Just when I thought this couldn't possibly keep on like we were some lovesick fools right in the middle of the yacht, Hugo broke the drugging spell himself, eyeing me like he'd want me for a meal right this instant.

He wiped the traces of my lipstick off his lips with a quick swipe of his thumb. "Don't move a muscle. My cock is hard, and unless you want the people of Monaco to know what you do to me, you'd better stay put." He gave me his notorious, teasing grin.

"Was that really necessary?" I gave him a mock scathing look because I couldn't very well hide the damn fact that his hardened length had excited me quite a bit. In fact, the very thought of it had already gotten me bothered, wet, and heady.

"I believe so. You needed a good reminder of where your desires should be aimed." He cocked his head to the side before thrusting his hips a little towards my navel, making me shiver like a bitch in heat. "Now look at you. You look thoroughly kissed by your dashing man."

He was being so possessively cunning that I couldn't help smiling at his persistence. "You're truly insane."

"Amongst other things." He winked at me before we stayed awhile in our tight-knit positions, waiting for his rock hard beckoning to subside.

Once the conundrum of his erection was put to rest—indefinitely—he brought me towards Jacques and the rest of the people who surrounded Luca.

"You're hurting my eyes, Isobel." Jacques grinned at me as he gave me a thorough head to foot inspection.

"Lovely to see you again, Jacques." I beamed at him, just a tad struck at his gorgeousness. "Where're your friends Callum and Stella?" I observed that those two weren't here tonight.

"Those two might not be partying for good," he sort of yelled into my shoulder as the music started to beat a tad loudly for my delicate sense of hearing. "Stella's expecting their first born," he informed me with a look of pride in his eyes.

He was a great friend. Whomever would be truly happy for their friend, even though he'd just lost a good party buddy, was a great friend.

Glancing to my left side, I saw that Hugo was in a deep conversation with Julien when another man entered my small space.

"There's no fucking reception." The man sounded displeased as he shut the screen off his phone.

"Don't be so dramatic. Drink a little, wait it out. I'm sure it just needs a little break from you." Jacques playfully responded before giving me a wink. "This man used to be the wildest in our brotherhood." He tapped the guy on the shoulder to get his attention before he lifted his head and two vivid, piercing, bluer-than-blue eyes snapped onto my face, catching me off guard. "Dimitris Kosta."

Oh. _Bloody_. Fuck. I froze like the insipid ninny that I was again. " _You're_ him. _You're_ Blasphemous."

He looked so confused that he even gave Jacques a questioning look before he tried to laugh it off as if I wasn't the major weirdo onboard. "You've seen the film, then, I take it?"

"More than I care to admit," I said, a tad breathless as I gazed at him with full-on admiration. I was obscenely obsessed with the movies. I couldn't for the life of me fathom how such a lucky woman could choose between two men in her life. The passion the movie had ignited in me always left me wondering why Damen and I couldn't be as consumed as those lovers were in the movie.

Dimitris looked somewhat pleased. "That was my last film."

"I know." How sad that it was, but rumors were circulating that his family life was demanding so much more of him that he needed to cut his ties with the film industry or he'd lose his inheritance.

"So what did you think of it?"

Well... let's see.

## Chapter Twenty

# Isobel

"You're quite making your own rounds tonight, aren't you, my little minx?" Hugo crept up right behind me, whispering mockingly just as Luca announced that the high limit blackjack tables were open for players.

"Well, you know little ol' me," I responded as I quietly bid farewell to Dimitris Kosta. He was quite impassioned when it came to films. I was certain it wasn't just me who was saddened about his unfortunate departure. I mean, there were still a lot of hot, talented male actors around, but they sure as heck didn't have those bluer-than-blues that made a woman weak in the knees. The Greek in me simply took over and was quite proud that he was one of our beloved actors. The paparazzi even more so.

Dimitris Kosta was a favorite of the tabloids. Greece just simply couldn't get enough of him and his wealthy family. Women graced his arms left and right, but ever since he left the filming industry, the women had lessened. News still broke out about him, like him engaged to be married to that French woman named Claudine or something? There were rumors about him, too, being married to an American woman, but that it was annulled because she was too wild for him.

"You really need to learn how to mask your adoration," Hugo commented the moment he heard me sigh in awe because of the handsome Greek. "You won't fare well in gambling or with anything else in life that needs you to lie without blinking."

He had a point. Much more so when it came to how I'd deal with Damen once it was time for me to tell him the less sordid version of my little stint of being Hugo Xavier's plaything.

"You're right. I will keep a close observation to learn from the very best."

He smirked. "Keep this up, and I won't be held accountable if I spank you in the nearest room available."

_Damn._ _Double damn_ , I thought disturbingly when I realized that I was very much turned on by this. What was wrong with me? Since when did the thought of being bent over with my arse up in the air and being spanked hold appeal?

"You don't really behave, do you? Even in social functions, you'd still fuck me if I allowed you to." It was the first time I had uttered the word _fuck_ and _me_ in the same sentence, and my God, my body's reaction was amplified tenfold: blushing, goose bumps, and the works.

"Ma belle..." His already deep voice went down another notch, making me wantonly bite my bottom lip as he spoke into my delicate ear. "I don't just fuck. While I'm seated deeply in your delicious cunt, I'm ensnaring your soul, making love to your heart." My breathing hitched as he held me entranced with the images he was planting in my mind before adding more visualization, "I fuck ruthlessly...demandingly. But most of all, I'll fuck you until you gasp my name. Until you _breathe_ me in and let me conquer you like no other man ever did. _I take_ , Isobel," he said ominously. "I take with no intention of ever giving it back."

His arrogance was enlightening, alarming, arousing...

"What if I don't...I don't want to give any of that to you. What then?" Though I had meant to challenge him, I was disconcerted with the thought of him doing as he had so explicitly described. It simply made me want to give in just to test his assumptions. Surely someone had to put his arrogance into place? Well, I could at least very well try to do so.

"You will. There's no question about that." His confidence was appalling. "When your legs cling to my waist, caging my body while I take the liberty of yours," he murmured the words just as his lips softly brushed against my nape, "I'm going to be the best thing you've ever had in between your thighs. _Guaranteed_."

Fuckity fuck. Where did this man ever get his lines? I needed to brush up on mine because he kept rendering me speechless.

"I don't mean to crush your ego, but let me remind you that you can never be the best thing in between my thighs because there's no emotional connection between us, so that can never be the best. For a man to do that to a woman, he has to be the king in all of those aspects; thus furthering my valid point that only a couple in love can achieve this sort of severe, transcendental connection."

Taking a deep, slow, calming breath, I tried to remind myself that this was a game, like chess, where one needed to think three steps ahead of your opponent. Or, maybe more similarly, like the chase of Tom and Jerry. Yeah, I supposed the latter sounded more on par.

"So, you, my dearest, arrogant French man, cannot— _will not_ —ever be the greatest thing for me. Never forget that, even if your passions override commonsense."

" _Oui..._ " he agreed without arguing with me. "Indeed, I will never forget this important detail, Isobel."

"Good. At least we have something we agree on." I smiled at him before giving him a soft peck on the cheek, but Hugo's playful mood had completely left him.

* * *

* * *

The three card poker and blackjack tables were situated below deck where it was supposed to be the State Room for meetings and conferences. The minimum bet per hand was five hundred Euros. It was appalling how these people spent their money as if it was of no consequence, yet at the same time, it was quite something to witness firsthand.

After our little playful banter upstairs on the deck, Hugo decided that he wanted to squander some of his fortune while I stood a foot away, close enough to his chair to take note of how he played cards. After all, he was a casino owner. I was sure he had tricks up his sleeves.

His table consisted of five other men and Jacques. It seemed that the French racer was losing money fast, while Hugo's stack kept rising. It was apparent I wasn't the only one who'd noticed, too. The women had certainly started to mill about the table, taking an interest in the game, the money, and the players.

In half an hour's time, the audience grew at our table compared to the other ones nearby. My eyes kept wandering about the new onlookers, and it seemed that Jacques and Hugo most especially got more come-hither looks than the rest of the men there.

Were they always this desperate? I mean, I got it in a way; to be in the presence of all these successful, power-driven, and not to mention überly sexy men sure did evoke all sorts of unjustifiable feelings of helplessness, admiration, heart-stopping and jaw-dropping moments that left women in a bit of a tizzy. I, too, was guilty as charged, but come on, didn't they see that Hugo had come with a date tonight? That date being me. I felt a little insulted that they didn't mind at all.

With Damen, I hadn't experienced this kind of disrespect because he and I always did things together, and people didn't dare question that we were in love. Anyone with eyes could see how smitten we were with one another. Therefore, this situation wasn't familiar to me. It was an unwelcomed, foreign feeling to which I wasn't sure if I should feel proud to be gracing Hugo's side or if I should make a move, a statement that would ensure my position that he wasn't up for the taking.

Or I could simply ignore them all because Hugo could pretty much do as he pleased. And if his alcohol consumption was be taken into account along with his blatant display of sexual prowess from earlier, the man could pretty much accept their invitations with a quick nod before striding into the nearest available spot where he could shag to his fancy. The most shocking part was that this scenario wasn't too far-fetched. In fact, this was the real Hugo Xavier. Curbing his appetite would merely make him more ballistic, and sooner or later, he'd eventually give up and seek physical comfort in the nearest woman who would accommodate him all night long. And the supply of willing bodies was endless.

The sensual laugh from the French woman who was standing with a martini on my close left brazenly reached out to touch the lapel of his jacket, making him glance at her with a stern look. "Vous regardez grave, mon chéri." (You look tense, darling.)

Hugo glanced away the second the new draw of cards were being distributed. The French woman stayed put, much to my chagrin. Maybe it was how Hugo hadn't seemed bothered that some random woman touched him, or maybe it was the fact that he'd never said anything at all that made me want to put the woman in her place. Either way, I wasn't happy about any of it.

The crisp sound of the new chips drew my eyes towards his hand that was producing the sound. His large, masculine hand covered a stack of purple chips as he let the chips fall, sounding more like dominoes falling.

Then, out of the blue, the table erupted with cheers.

_Blackjack._

Twenty-one. Spades suited.

_"Putain de merde!"_ (Fucking shit!) Jacques huffed out as he threw his cards back on the table before looking to his left and grinning at Hugo. "Sacré veinard!" (You lucky bastard.)

_That's right. The man sure was lucky_ , I thought proudly. I was about to reach out to congratulate him when the women came in droves.

"You're such a fantastic player, Hugo." The blonde woman with amber eyes blushed when he gave her those one of a kind toe-curling smiles that used to get me every single time.

The friend smiled even wider. "It's in his blood."

More over the top compliments were thrown around, and I was literally a breath away from wanting to stomp my foot on the expensively carpeted room and mark my territory.

Grounding my teeth together, I gazed at all of them like a woman about to unleash wrath before common sense directed me to leave him be to bask in his popularity and find my own solitude before I truly did something that I'd regret, like claim him as mine.

My mind was a tricky thing. I knew he wasn't _mine_ per say, but my body somewhat protested.

Feeling frustrated, I slowly crept away before I found myself on the opposite side of the yacht, away from the loudness of the gathered party goers, partaking alcohol, dancing, and gambling.

I was on my way to seek a quiet spot when I luckily walked past a barman and asked for a bottle of champagne, uncorked. The second he handed me a Rosé, I went on my merry way towards the back of the yacht and found a spot where I sat facing the glittering silhouette of Monaco.

I lavished on the chilled bottle while I reflected on my life, my ghastly behavior—or more about how my thoughts were getting muddled by it all—Damen, my friends, and well, Hugo, as if my mind would ever let me forget about him.

Staring at the dark sea, the thought of Damen partying around women, getting zonked, and having the time of his life without me made me feel a tad depressed. What if I wasn't the only one fighting sexual attraction? What if, he, too, was going through the same thing I was, being attracted to another woman? Would he act on it? Would he still love me after he shagged her?

Troubling questions marred my mood, yet the more I thought about it, the more it sunk in that this was quite possibly happening. And if so, what would I do if Damen told me he'd had sexual relations with other women? Would I still be able to take him back and love him the same as I had before? I mean, would I still be able to hold him in such high regard? It was my fault our relationship had halted, and maybe it would make him feel better if he did. It would serve me right for causing him such heartache.

However, as much as I tried to be rational about it, my heart begged that this wasn't the case. That our love was strong enough that he wouldn't dare fancy another warm body sleeping next to him at night.

_Damen, please wait for me_ , I prayed to the stars above, hoping they'd send their bright energy towards Damen tonight somewhere in Mykonos, possibly drunk and gullible to any woman's advances.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," Hugo's voice boomed behind me.

Twisting my head to look at him, I saw he was standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets, looking like the opposite of the cheery man inside who had just won an exorbitant amount of money.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked, not bothering to come any closer to me.

Sighing loudly, I nodded towards the silhouetted glow of the land. "How? We're in the middle of the sea." _Stranded until someone was ready to go home. Bugger._

"My helicopter can take us back to the mainland."

_His helicopter?_ He had one parked on one of the helipads? Well, of course he did.

Taking the bottle with me, I strode towards him, feeling blue.

How had this night started so well only to end in such a way? I had taken care to look this gorgeous, and for what? The man couldn't even look at me properly when it was hours ago he couldn't seem to stop admiring me from head to foot. I was starting to hate myself for even wanting his attention. Seriously, what was wrong with me?

The walk towards the awaiting pilot and the helipad was done in silence. There was no talk of how fun his card playing had been, or how brilliant it had been to win in such a way.

The same irritating manner went with the short helicopter ride from the yacht to his hotel at The Riviera.

The prolonged, silent standoff made me wish to scratch a chalkboard to evoke some kind of reaction from him. But no, the bastard was in one of his mercurial moods, so I best entertain myself until boredom eventually killed me.

Following his lead, I wasn't at all surprised when he produced a keycard the second we entered the elevator to take us to his private penthouse suite. With the amount of alcohol he had in his system, driving wasn't the wisest thing to do.

"You look upset," he said the second we entered the double doors to the suite.

_I look upset?_ Ha! Upset was rather mild to describe the storm that had been whirling about me since that woman had touched him.

"Piss off," was all I said as I tried to focus on the elegant surroundings. I knew it was pretty, but it somehow didn't register because I couldn't seem to take in anything other than his close proximity.

"What did I do now?" he asked casually before he strode past me and went straight to the bar where he poured himself a hefty amount of cognac. He then let his drink sit on the marble countertop while he took off his bowtie, jacket, and before I even had the chance to register anything else he was down to unbuttoning his dress shirt until it hung loose and open, showcasing his superb pectoral and abdominal muscled perfection.

My mouth ran dry before I urged myself to look away, blushing profusely.

"Isobel?"

_Fuck. Get it together_ , I chided myself before I faced him again. He was taking a careful sip of his drink while his eyes hadn't wavered from me.

"I don't have any clothes." To be quite frank, this was the last thing that had been on my list, but for some reason, it was the one that my mouth blurted out. Feeling like an idiot? Oh, no, I definitely was one tonight.

"There's a robe in the master bathroom," he informed me while I simply kept staring at him. "I want to touch you whenever I want. I don't want any lacey or silky scrap of clothing to hinder me from your body."

_We'll see about that, shall we?_

I left for the bathroom, fuming at the thought of him throwing it out there, as if tonight I hadn't witnessed him failing to bar women from thinking that he delighted himself in accommodating their brazen advances.

Stripping the blasted dress, I yanked the robe off the hanger before I covered my body with only a mere thong hiding behind the soft, plush robe. I didn't care that he'd requested me naked underneath it. This was my way of showing him that I was rebelling from his orders. He could take it however he saw fit.

The thought of washing my make-up off came to a halt when he didn't care to knock on the door before letting himself into the massive bathroom.

"I was hoping you could join me in the hot tub? It might do you the world."

"I'm fine," I gritted out, wishing he'd leave me alone to simmer in peace.

The bastard didn't seem pleased. "You're going to join me, Isobel."

"I said _no_ , Hugo."

His jaws locked as he gave me a brooding look. He seemed to try to control his temper before addressing me again. "Are you defying my orders?"

Fuck. He couldn't be serious.

Bracing my chest, I was about to respond to him that _yes, I was defying him_ when his chilling voice cut through the tension.

"The door is open if you wish to walk out. I'm not holding you hostage."

Mindfuck. He was playing me to get what he wanted. _Bastard!_

"Very well. Have a great night," I called his bluff before turning around and heading towards the door

"Très bien. And please, don't forget to inform your father that he still owes me money. My lawyers will contact him tomorrow for the balance owed, with your services deducted of course."

He flagged me down with a threat, knowing very well that my father didn't have money to pay him even half of what he owed.

"Tonight, you played with what? A quarter million? Maybe half? My father's debt is laughable compared to how much you spend on entertainment. Couldn't you at least pardon him just this once?"

"And why would I do that, Isobel? Your father means nothing to me. Pardons and favors are out of the question."

He was selfish, and he wasn't holding back on showing me who was in charge of the situation. I didn't have a choice. It was either stay or walk out and deal with my father's wrath for doing so. And the latter was too horrific to even dare think about.

"You win, Hugo," I conceded as I exited the door and went in search of the hot tub.

## Chapter Twenty-One

# Isobel

"Forget the hot tub, Isobel," he said just as I was about to disrobe. "Sleep the night here. I'm heading out."

"Where are you going?" I asked without turning back.

"Back on the yacht."

I knew it. He wanted to shag one of those women.

It didn't take long until their faces swam before me, making me feel hot and cold all over. What did I care if he planned to fuck one or a dozen of them? It wasn't my problem, nor was it my business.

"Fine, then. I'm still going in with or without you." I shrugged, untying my robe as I did so before letting it fall to pool around my feet. And since I was already on display while he watched me from behind, I audaciously took my knickers off, baring my smooth bottom.

He hadn't made a sound, yet I knew he was still there. The heat of his gaze was powerful as I slowly went into the massive tub.

For the first time, I saw the picturesque view before me. The sea, the stars, and the gorgeous place itself brought magic to my eyes. It was the perfect backdrop for seduction.

"Why aren't you leaving yet?" The question wasn't said loudly, nor was I facing him, but he caught it for some reason.

He didn't bother responding. Instead, I heard him move towards me. Not before long, I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled open and the sudden, swift sound of the garment falling to the floor. With bated breath, I stilled as I heard his movement before he finally came in view through my peripheral vision, before he brazenly showed me his naked body, full frontal and the whole... nine _inches?_ His dick wasn't fully aroused yet, and the mere sight of it and the thought of what it would look like to its full girth and length gave me fluttering butterflies all throughout my stomach.

The man was made to drive me mental, challenging me physically and mentally, blocking whatever kind of argument I'd had with him and with myself.

My heated gaze drifted away from his form as I waited for him to settle in the hot, bubbling mass of water.

Sitting on opposing sides, he splayed his arms as far as they could reach, lounging and looking like he was Don Juan.

_Well,_ he sort of was.

"Tonight began with our eyes meeting, devouring each other with lust and admiration, but look at you now. You can't even look at me."

Giving him a death stare, I aimed to bite his head off—figuratively. "Has it entered your semi-brilliant mind that maybe there's nothing worth looking at? _Maybe,_ I was just pretending?"

I didn't get to bat my eyelashes before he was immediately right in front of me. He was so swift in his movements that I hadn't had the chance to do much when he claimed my lips without our bodies touching. My mouth took him in without hesitation. Our tongues fought out the hungered passion that was escalating out of control between us. I wanted to mold against him and cling to his body. This fevered response that he and I couldn't seem to control was beyond maddening. As much as I hated it, I also couldn't resist it.

"There's no pretending," he rasped out, breathing raggedly against my lips. "This _is_ real... what you do to me... and what I make you feel. _It's real_ , Isobel."

Our passions were so raw even I couldn't deny it out loud, most especially right after we'd just kissed with pure, utter abandonment.

"Now that's settled, will you tell me what's going on in this pretty head of yours, ma belle?" His fingers brushed away the hair from my forehead as he stared deeply, intensely into my eyes.

"I'll give you a hint," I sighed, simply because I couldn't deny him when he was _this_ close to me. "I heard that men who love fast cars drive it harder when they use their _stick_ shift."

He frowned before he started barking out a deep belly laugh, all the while continuously giving me an incredulous look. "Oh, come now. Admit it, it was quite hilarious."

"Sure." I was laughing on the inside...

"What's wrong now, ma belle?" He dropped a light peck on the tip of my nose, melting me with his tenderness.

"What do you think?" I asked timidly, slightly humiliated for finally admitting what was bothering me. "You've embarrassed me in front of your friends by flirting with those insipid women who use sex to get a man's attention."

"It happens all the time." He seemed unperturbed. "I'm used to it."

There it was: this was his sort of lifestyle. The polar opposite of mine. "Whatever."

Hugo wasn't ready to let go of the subject yet. "What is really wrong with you?" he queried on.

"You!" I admitted without thought, barely catching myself because my emotions were rolling off me. "You're what's wrong with me. You're a notorious flirt, and you don't give a damn that I was there, watching it all happen!"

He suddenly looked serious, eyes seeking my own. "I apologize. I hadn't realized that you were jealous and hurt by my actions."

"I am not jealous!" I hissed out, immediately denying it. It wasn't jealousy. It was being disrespected more like...

"You're acting like you are."

"Well, I'm not," I stated succinctly. "Why should I be? I don't love you—you're not Damen."

His eyes were like black diamonds, glittering, beautiful, bottomless depths, but his temper was apparent in them. "I'm very well aware that I'm not Damen!" he gritted out, almost yelling.

I raised my hands, surrendering this bloody argument that kept going in circles. "This is stupid. Let's forget that this conversation ever happened. I'm just having a rough day, is all."

Black diamonds flickered back and forth, seeking for my soul. "All right," he finally uttered, sounding tired.

_All right?_ Nothing will ever be okay again, and it petrified me.

"I don't get you. One second, you're a total wanker, and then, in the blink of an eye, you're a kind gentleman. Which one are you, because I'm beyond confused?"

"I'm the same man you first met. I'm the same man who fancies a quick fuck whenever I feel like it. When my cock springs to life, I put it in action. You very well know that I'm ruthless, that I have the tendency to be despicable, and yet you somehow melt towards me when I kiss you. I'm a wicked temptation that you want to try and taste, even though you're telling yourself that I'm an obligation." He was relentless. "Admit it, you like me, _even just a little_." His breathtaking smile blinded me from my senses. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Okay, maybe I do like you... a little," I muttered with a blush.

His dashing smile immediately vanished from his face before something of meaning replaced it. Then, before I had the chance to ask him what it was, he determinedly savored my lips, kissing them as though they were a delicious treat to taste, slowly, eagerly, melting my core and every ounce of my common sense.

Consumed by the fire that had overtaken us, engulfing us in flames as our mouths devoured one another, little did I notice that he was pressing against my body, backing me against the wall of the tub while my legs had somehow parted to accommodate him. The majestic feeling of awe at having him this way was overruling everything I had told myself not to do. My hands caressed his chest before I cupped them behind his head as I pulled him closer to me. I wanted him so badly, and he felt divine. God help me.

His hands squeezed my breasts before they explored between my thighs. Then I unexpectedly felt him pinch my clit; thus making me spasm in his arms. His digits kept exploring my pussy, but he never dared insert anything in me. I admired his control... _until I felt him_. His hard and hot, turgid length teasing my clit, gliding and thrusting back and forth.

"Hell, Hugo!" I moaned from the explicit pleasure that seized my body from the sheer, intimate contact of him.

"Does this feel like Damen to you?" he demanded before he bit the side of my neck, making me scream and moan like I had never done before.

Fuck, this was truly different from what I'd experienced with Damen.

"Definitely..." I stuttered, "not."

Damen's lovemaking was different. This? Whatever this was between us, it was savage.

It drew out our animalistic sides—the mating, the banter, the possessiveness. We circled around on our baser instincts and senses.

It was as vulgar as it was exquisite.

Vulgarly, undoubtedly, exceptionally exquisite.

## Chapter Twenty-Two

# Hugo

"D _oes this feel like Damen to you?"_ I barked it out arrogantly, knowing well enough that her delighted reaction to our delicious body friction was a resounding no, but I still went ahead and demanded the question because I wanted her to say it out loud. I _needed_ her to say it, a confirmation uttered from her own lecherous lips.

Her moans were driving me wickedly mad. This hunger to drive her over the edge, into a pleasurable abyss, made me bite her neck. The animalistic rawness of a bite on a woman's delicate neck never failed to produce unparalleled pleasure, certainly making them much more pliable for our intentions.

Just as expected, Isobel produced a scream the second my teeth sunk into her sensitized flesh. It was a sound that made men fall on their knees and indulge the goddess in whatever she desired. A scream that made my cock angry to the point of explosion because it wanted entry to her safe haven.

"Definitely"—she panted incoherently—"not." She sounded lost, suspended from reality while my body did its purpose in delivering her to a place that was the closest a person could be to nirvana. The urge was potent to keep her there, detached from her thoughts, only able to feel. _Feel_ the euphoria I was granting her. Feel how amazing things could be between us if she decided to pursue this road of sensuality with me.

"Hugo..."

The mere sound of her voice calling out to me in such a carnal way made everything inside me constrict with excitement. My hands were on her breasts, but I made them trail over her back from her shoulder blades all the way down to the base of her spine before I palmed the curve of her buttocks, gripping them hard, letting her cunt slide harder against the back of my cock as it sat rigidly between us.

As I gazed admiringly at her, Isobel was lost in the heady and magnified, beautiful sensation we were weaving together. Her reluctance of this magnetic attraction and her slight measure of giving in to me—even though she had been fighting tooth and nail about everything that was related to me—well, this felt mighty triumphant. Yet, even in this short-term triumph, the greater need of wanting _it all_ superseded it all.

This was appetizing, of course it was. I had never doubted my instincts when it came to women, but I wanted her utter and complete surrender without hesitation. I wanted her to want me the way I wanted her. The need had consumed me since she'd walked in to save her father from destitution.

Generally, as a rule, patience where women were concerned wasn't on my list at all. What man of wealth and power would waste time on such trivial situations when it could be invested in something beneficial? No decent businessman would even toy with the idea. Of course, there were exceptions—if the man in question had a wife and family, then the rules changed.

I could take her like this, with my cock a mere breath away from her opening, and she wouldn't even have a second to deny me because she'd be lost in the pleasure of what my cock would do to her. My dark thoughts prevailed, yet there was something much stronger inside me, insisting that I wait until she commanded me to fuck her because she couldn't fathom another second without having me inside her.

My ego was a double-edged sword. I couldn't make myself thrust my hips into her tight hole. My decisive decision made me curse inwardly, knowing quite well that I would end up having a cold shower while I palmed my cock. _When was the last time I've done that?_ I thought, mocking myself. I couldn't even remember because I had always had women who'd done everything for me. The very thought itself was depressing. When had my life come to such a sad state?

Sex was the only thing I could indulge in... since having a family was out of the equation. It was the only thing that made me sane.

" _Ma belle,_ make me come with you..." I groaned out, needing her to hear the desperation in my voice.

I didn't need her pussy to finish off; she could use her hands, her swollen mouth, or her pussy lips, riding on top of me as she glided her juices against my hot length.

"Hugo... I'm..."

"Touch my cock, _mon amant_." (My lover.) "Use your other hand to caress my balls..."

Her hands followed direction, gentle yet eager to please. The feel of her hands pressing against my shaft while I thrust against her labia felt too glorious to describe. Her gentleness eventually became harsher as I upped my speed. The warmth of the water sluicing around our motions, the rapidness of our heartbeats as we synchronized together with one purpose, achieving the end, became a whirl of madness until we finally reached our peaks.

Isobel cried out against my lips while I came against her luscious cunt.

I was inhaling her scent behind her earlobe before I breathed out, "Mon Dieu, c'était magnifique." (My God, that was magnificent.)

She laughed huskily before kissing my cheek. "Yes, that sure was."

* * *

* * *

For the past week, I had shared her bed. It was a given that, each night I came to her, we would succumb to our passions. It also became a habit that every morning I'd wake her up with my mouth attached in between her legs.

I was mad for her, and I couldn't, no matter how much I kissed her lips and her body, get enough of it. But even if our passion was unimaginable, she hadn't begged me to go all the way yet. Though I must admit my control was slipping away, I still managed to harness it each time our sexes touched.

Isobel was slowly blooming before my eyes, giving me glimpses of the real woman within her cattiness and pleasant smiles. The woman behind the façade was this bright woman who had a great spirit and laughed madly until she snorted, which of course made her blush with embarrassment, but I found it truly cute and heart-warming. She was different; I had been aware of that from the very beginning. However, her uniqueness had particularly drawn me in to look beyond her appearance. Deep inside, she was as gullible as they come at twenty-three with the perception that life could be all about love and happiness. She rarely mentioned it, but when she did, I knew she was talking about Damen—the man she'd had to forcibly put aside until her obligations were finalized.

I wasn't a man who looked into the future, and I certainly wasn't one who dwelled on past lovers and what might've been, but picturing Isobel's freeing, full-of-life smiles with the man that she longed for made me feel uneasy. Therefore, as much as I could, I tried not to show that I was bothered each time she mentioned his name. She randomly did this while we were having discussions over dinner, aimlessly walking about The Riviera, or even when we were in bed. She'd spout something off about being in school and how life had gotten better since Damen.

I was all for freedom of speech, but sometimes, it would've been perfect if the woman had a filter. There were rules in bed for lovers. One being the fact that no one should discuss current other lovers, or past ones for that matter. Each time she made a comment, it was on the very tip of my tongue to tell her that sometimes it was better off not to even say anything; however, her face would light up, and I, the mad man that I was, simply couldn't resist gazing at her when she looked the very epitome of why God had created the earth and all its entirety. I was almost convinced that, when God had finished his creation, he'd sat back and admired her beauty, feeling most accomplished since a face like hers truly was unrivalled.

"Isobel," I whispered her name as I gazed upon the glimmering sea. I stood in my office, admiring the view before me, thinking about how difficult it was to not fully fuck her body, when a knock came on the door.

"Oui?" I called out as I spun around to see who it was.

"Mr. Julien Geroux is here to see you." My secretary raised her perfectly shaped brow, wondering if she should let my best friend in.

I was about to say something when a sound from the door came through. "He'll see me. Why wouldn't he? I'm not his mortal enemy, now am I? Come off it, Sophie. I'm your favorite." Julien's familiar voice cajoled my newly divorced forty-year-old secretary.

Sophie rolled her eyes as she chastised him for polluting the air inside the building with every breath he took before finally walking away, giving way to let Julien inside my office.

"Ah, how are we today, sir lover boy?" the arrogant fool greeted me with a smirk as he strode across the office and went straight to the bar to pour himself a whiskey.

"What are you doing here, Geroux?" I hadn't been aware that we were meeting today.

He shrugged, taking ahold of his glass, before spinning around to face me with a look I was familiar with. "You should know better..." he started, shaking his head in disapproval. "The pattern that you're on right now." He took a sip of his drink. "Louise..."

Mentioning her name made me feel violent. "Don't you dare start with me, Julien—"

"I dare because I'm a concerned friend. You don't want anything like that attached to your name. Most especially that. You've done so well for a decade. Don't fuck it up now."

He was overstepping himself. "Careful, Geroux." I warned him, but he remained nonchalantly casual.

"Careful." He nodded. "That's the word. You should learn it because, if your twisted luck strikes again, you'd wish that you'd sought the word itself."

My jaws locked, hating every single word that he was jabbing at me. "I would never let anything like that happen again. Never!" I threw at him harshly.

"This is out of our hands, Xavier. We know that," he finished somberly before gulping the rest of his drink, giving me another harsh look. "I like Isobel. She's very nice and quite stunning to look at. But my only concern here is _you_ , Hugo. Do you want to be picking up the puzzle to figure it out just before it's too late again? The aftermath—you barely made it out sane." With that, he left me watching his retreat, racking my brain and wondering if I was in denial or did Julien really have grounds.

I was attracted to Isobel. I wanted her like I had never wanted a woman before, but that was all it was—an animalistic desire to possess a beauty, nothing more.

Julien's concern didn't have any merit. There simply wasn't. It was the bare truth.

## Chapter Twenty-Three

# Isobel

"How are the preparations going?" someone asked me the question from behind. I knew without having to see who it was that it was Hugo wanting to charm the life out of me. I could hear it from his voice. It dripped with it, reminding me of how we had been spending our nights together, always finishing locked in an embrace with our naked bodies.

Yes... Naked Hugo. He was beautiful naked. Most especially when he was on top of me, gazing down with such fierce passion it never failed to trap me as his captive.

"It's... going." I smiled, still not ready to see him yet because my heart was beating so rapidly I somehow felt faint. He did this to me. I was a hot mess where he was concerned. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be sitting at the helm, barking orders to some chap?"

"Oh, I bark orders..." There was laughter in his voice before his hands touched the sides of my hips and pulled me towards him, whispering into my ear, "Why don't you come here and kiss me?"

Hell. I couldn't believe he'd turn on his seductive voice in public. "There are people around."

We were organizing the decorations and other preparations for Julee's event in one of the vast ballrooms of his hotel. As a result, one could imagine how many people milled about and ran to get this or that done. Furthermore, with the boss hanging around, flirting with yours truly, I was flattered and at the same time could do without the wide-eyed curiosity.

"Come on, a little PDA can't harm anyone."

I was always at risk of harm by becoming one of those idiotic women who saw stars in their eyes.

"I usually don't do that sort of thing," I murmured before I spun around to face him. The moment our eyes clashed, my stomach dropped and my heart did a somersault. The intense combination made me lose my breath a little.

His eyes sought mine, as if he too was feeling the connection, before he pulled me closer, crushing my breasts against his chest. "Well, you do now," he said when his lips were a tad away from kissing me fully. "You definitely do now, Isobel." The second he captured me for a kiss, I was lost in him. His scent, his touch, and the feeling that we were spiraling out of control, washed over me.

I wasn't sure how long it lasted, but the second he parted from the kiss, I regretted that it had to even end.

Gazing up at him, I had a shy smile on my face. "Just had to display it out there... couldn't help yourself, could you?"

He matched my smile before his thumb brushed against the shape of my bottom lip. "I just had to see you before I go into a meeting. How about you come up for lunch?"

"You sure? I know you're a busy man." I wanted to spend time with him, too, but I didn't want him to sacrifice work hours when we could make out more the second he got home.

" _Oui,_ but I can always make time for you."

Le sigh. "If you say so. I'll meet you there at noon." Gazing at my watch, I looked at him to double check. "Is that good enough?"

"You're always good enough, Isobel." He winked at me before leaving me gazing at his perfect behind. Though I was distracted by his perfect form, it didn't leave my notice that there were a hefty amount of men and women checking the very man himself, admiring from afar.

Yet, of all the people here, he had chosen me. I shook my head, bubbling with silliness as I longed to see him in sixty minutes.

Time, I realized, went by at a snail's pace when you were counting each minute.

* * *

* * *

Our lunch date was nothing like I had expected. The second I was ushered in to meet Hugo, I was surprised that he was waiting for me in the elevator.

"Are you ready?" he asked with a smile that made my pussy contract.

I looked at him with a sheepish expression. "For what?"

"Lunch."

Oh, that. Lunch... Why had I forgotten about that for a second? _It's his smile_ , my pussy reminded me for the second time. "Right. So, where are we lunching?"

"It's a surprise." He took my hand to securely stick me to his side before he pressed one of the buttons on the top panel.

"I love surprises," I breathed out like a giddy teenager on her first date. Keeping myself in check, I glanced at my shiny reflection against the gold-plated elevator doors, wondering when giggling had become a bad habit of mine.

Putting my worries aside, I refocused my attention on the man next to me. There were times to worry about these things, and surely this moment wasn't one of those.

Just as he'd promised, he surprised me by taking me for a helicopter ride, having no clue where our destination was. Maybe it was the lack of affection from my father growing up that made me feel like, if a man went out of his way to make a woman special, one should always be grateful that they'd even thought of the kind gesture.

Hugo and my father were similar, but it was blatantly obvious that the man next to me, caressing the back of my neck as he pointed out the window, showing me a yacht in the middle of the sea, had a heart, that he'd cherish you once you were under his care. I respected that about him. I truly did.

Not only that, but he was a man of his word. I mean, how often had we had instances where he could have simply taken me and I might not have even cared because I was so out of it? And yet, he'd remained true to his word, holding out hope that, one night, I'd tell him to go all the way.

I wasn't going to lie, each time we came together, kissing and touching, the thought always played out in my head. However, there was something always holding me back from uttering the words out loud. Though, in my head, yes, I did beg of it once or twice.

The yacht came closer into view. The size was just about as massive as Luca's from that party, which I hadn't realized on our previous trip to it. Once we landed on his yacht, Hugo was all smiles as he helped me out of the helicopter before directing us towards the back end of the vessel, towards an awaiting, smaller boat, which I was assuming was what we'd be riding in next.

Hugo hadn't let go of my hand since he'd helped me out of the helicopter, and I found myself feeling at ease when he'd plant a kiss on my forehead or anywhere around my face, which he always managed to do. The back of my neck, my cheek, shoulder blade, my nose, you name it. Wherever skin was exposed, he'd bless it with his amorous lips.

It was a short boat ride towards the shore where our lunch waited, prepared with thorough detail and embellishments inside a white linen tent. His staff greeted us with a warm smile and a heavy dose of romance everywhere.

"Welcome to Corsica."

"This is quite grand," I breathed out, overwhelmed by the splendid gesture.

He shrugged before leading me towards the white linen-covered table where he pulled out a chair for me to sit on. After I was seated, he then took the opposing seat from mine.

"I _only_ do grand when I happen to really like someone," he flirted back with ease.

"I hope you're not thinking tonight's the night..." I hid my smile away. "I don't put out on first dates. Just a thought."

"Really, now?" He chuckled with pure amusement before he gestured for someone to pour us champagne then focused on me again. "I appreciate a woman who knows her value..." he trailed off in a sexy, husky tone. "It makes it all the more sweet once I have captured her, trapped in between my arms, trapped by my lips, impaled underneath me..."

"You really need to learn not to make a woman blush from head to foot in broad daylight." I tried to scold him, but his deep, throaty laugh merely made me gaze at him in such awe and tenderness. He truly was beautiful. It became lethal when he smiled or when he laughed, eyes dancing as he gazed at me as if I was the most enchanting thing he'd ever set his eyes upon.

"But I adore you more when you blush."

Damn. With that, I went from soft pink to crimson.

"Now you're just doing that on purpose to see how beet red I'd get." I gave him an accusing look before he reached out for my hand that was resting on the table, gently taking it against his own before brushing a kiss against the skin on the back of my hand.

"When a woman blushes or seems flushed, it sends out a message to the rest of the male species that the man she's with pleases her—that she finds him attractive." He paused, giving me a breathtaking look. "I love knowing that they know you're taken just by looking at you."

Where was he going with this? Why did his words feel more intimate compared to how he used to say those things weeks back?

"Your possessiveness will get you in trouble one day. Besides, it's so unnecessary, especially with me. It's not like men would dare take you on."

"True," he agreed without hesitation. "But they still have eyes that wander around, appreciating what's mine."

I considered him a moment, uncertain if I found this trait of his baffling and disturbing, unimaginably beyond sexy, or all of the above. Okay, I conceded that it was the latter option. However, as much as I wanted to admit it to him by saying it out loud, I'd rather appear less interested than seeming to be overeager.

"Maybe it would benefit you not to act like you're an alpha male all the time."

"I _am_ the alpha male."

That statement was true. To that, I had no smart rebuttal. Instead, I chose to inflate his ego some more. " _Alpha_... you sure are _very male_ —virile, potent, dominating to a point of madness."

_"Ah, ma belle."_ He grinned whole-heartedly. "Are you beginning to compliment me?" His teasing tone made me roll my eyes.

_"Almost..."_ I retorted back, enraptured at being in his company.

* * *

* * *

_Later that night..._

"Hello?" I took the call absentmindedly, as I was about to jump into the shower.

"Hello, Iso. How are you, _koritsáki mou_?" my paternal grandmother's voice flittered through the phone, making me tense a little.

My grandparents spoiled my father rotten, nurturing a monster in the making, a man who knew nothing about being a husband, nor being a father.

"Grandmother," I said, feeling cold. She was Greek, and I was supposed to call her _nana,_ but saying that meant she was a woman who meant something dear to me, which wasn't the case. Calling her _grandmother_ was far more appropriate. It was much more formal, _cold,_ and detached, just like the very woman herself.

"Your mother has fallen ill. Come home at once," she demanded chillingly before ending the call without bidding me goodbye.

Staring at the phone, I didn't even have to think twice about asking Hugo permission to go home for a week or so to see my mother. Besides, this was an emergency. I knew he wouldn't hesitate to send me home with well wishes for my mother.

Home.

_Greece..._

Where my father awaited.

Where Damen was.

Damn, I had hoped I wouldn't have to come across him, face him and lie or something worse.

I sighed deeply, feeling helpless.

## Chapter Twenty-Four

# Isobel

Last night, when I told Hugo about the news of my mother falling ill, he didn't even question if I wanted to go home. He simply made arrangements for me to fly out first thing in the morning. And for the first time, after we started our gluttonous nightly festivities last night, he didn't demand anything from me. He simply held me close all night long, kissing the back of my neck whenever he could. Without words, he found a way to comfort me because he knew that I was worried. It might've meant nothing to him, but to me, it meant so much.

The moment I arrived in Athens, I took a cab and headed straight to see my mother. Our home was huge, sitting atop a hill, but that was basically all it was, all for show. Behind it all, debts piled up, and my father's uncontrollable spending and gambling habits had buried us so deep into debt that I doubted we'd all be able to pay it off even if I made a decent size income after I graduated from university.

There was no mistaking the scent of Athens. I knew I was on Greek soil the moment I stepped out of the terminal. It was the smell of home, yet I fully couldn't call it _home_ when most of my memories here were rotten ones. Apart from that, however, I loved the city—the country itself.

Even though I was only half Greek, there was something in our blood that made us proud—it was a part of us, imbedded in our hearts, centered in the very core of our souls—to share a part of something so significant that helped shape the civilization of today. Not only that, but our cities were rich with culture and destinations where the past met the present, magnificent beaches and islands, full of wonder and intrigue. Once a person met Greece—the real Greece—it never left their hearts.

Even with all this love I had for everything Greek, it never changed the fact that coming back still brought tremors to my body—that familiar feeling I got knowing quite well that, whatever happened to my mother, I was almost a hundred percent sure my father had some part in it. He always did. It was his way of "reminding" us of who was in charge, who we should fear, and who we should never fail to follow. He was a tyrant through and through. His damning views in life and beliefs was troubling, and yet no one—not fucking one of his family—ever dared question or put him in place. They watched in silence as their beloved son terrorized his family, beating my mother whenever his mood struck him.

My depressing train of thought had to take a backseat when the cab driver stopped right outside the house, giving me cold dread as I paid him before getting out of the car. From afar, the house looked great, but if you paid attention to close detail, it was apparent that the paint was chipped and cracked, the lawn in the garden was overgrown and in dire need of trimming, the once gorgeous rows of beautiful rose bushes were chaotic and in need of clipping.

Looking away from the disheartening surroundings, I pulled out my house keys from my purse before stepping inside the home. I wasn't sure what I had expected to see when I came home, but I certainly wasn't expecting complete, eerie silence. Mother was sick, wasn't she? And knowing how my father weaved his evil spell, he'd never want to spend a dime on my mother by taking her to the hospital to have her checked over by a doctor.

I'd once asked him why he was so cruel, and he had merely shrugged and given me a look I won't ever forget. "There's no need to waste money when your mother isn't dying. She'll sleep it off. She'll be good as new tomorrow."

His selfishness knew no bounds.

It was right after he said those words when I fully understood that he was a monster. Before then, there was a part of me which hoped that he'd change. When I was young, gullible, and the optimism ran rampant, I thought that my father would eventually be enlightened, and he'd change to become a better man—a better husband to my mother, and a supportive father to Yannis and I. However, after he'd uttered those lines, there was surely no hope for him. What kind of man would say something like that about his sick wife?

On top of that, it was his fault my mother was sick, because she'd found out that he had been having an affair, and then my mother had refused to eat anything for days on end. She had been heartbroken, while my father mocked it as if it was a nuisance.

The memories flooded in the moment the stale, stagnant air of the house hit my nostrils. The fading décor and the surroundings that had seen better days made me feel like I had gone into a time capsule and was young again, feeling helpless each time mother had fallen ill.

Automatically, I headed straight to my mother's bedroom. And just as I had predicted, she was there, seeming like she was sleeping with her faded, knitted, blue blanket held close to her stomach. The picture of her in this position was eerily familiar. The last time this had happened, my father had aimed at her stomach, punishing her for a useless uterus, as he'd so vehemently accused her. He was a heel, the worst kind of man, and we were just unfortunate to be his family.

"Mum?" I whispered shakily as I slowly crept deeper into the dark bedroom. My small steps made the floorboards creek as I moved closer to her. _"Mum?"_ I asked again. This time, I saw her blink her eyes wide open before searching for the source the voice had come from. Then, when our eyes met, the usual, tender mixed with immense sadness that reminded me of a miserable, lost puppy, greeted me once more. "What happened this time, Mum?"

My heart broke for her— _for us_. This was a hopeless case and wouldn't ever stop until she walked away. Her undying love for my father made her stay, even though there was nothing left in their marriage besides their marriage certificate. Other than that, they were practically mere strangers. Him living in his own fantasy while my mother pined for him to come home. A decade and a half of never-ending repetition.

When would it end? When she was dead? Was that what she was waiting for? This very thought made me feel volatile, frustrated that my own flesh and blood—my own mother—couldn't stand her ground and grow a backbone for once.

She gave me a weak smile before I reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze, letting her know that I was there for her.

"Mum...please..." I sobbed, needing her to see and understand that there was still a way out—that it was never too late to start over again and live the life she had once longed for. "You have to leave him and go back to England. He's never going to stop hurting you—he's that cruel."

Her eyes moistened, agony etched on her face, before she brought my hand that held hers towards her chest, where her heart rested. She placed my palm over it, making me aware that she was still alive, before she looked away just as her tears started to slide down the side of her face.

The gesture was her way of telling me that she was okay, that she was in love with my father and would never leave him. It was discouraging. The pattern hadn't really changed over the years. She needed to see that— _know_ that there was no hope for him.

"He's a monster, Mum. Don't you see that?" I begged as my tears streamed from my face. "He doesn't love you. He doesn't love any of us. He's selfish and only cares for himself. _You know this!_ Why can't you just accept it and stop forgiving him for all the atrocious things he's done to you?"

Again, she merely gave me a look that told me she would never do that.

My father had done this to her, made her lose her voice—her ability to freely speak her mind without fearing anything bad would happen to her. When things had started to spiral out of control, her voice had gone the opposite way, hiding from the world, as if preventing herself from speaking the truth would hide what my father was. Or maybe it was because she was living in her own heart brokenness to the point that she couldn't comprehend speaking in fear that she'd be ashamed. This notion had been brought up by my very own grandmother, accompanied with a pitying look that stated she saw my mother as a weak, pathetic fool.

When I realized that my attempts in trying to convince her to leave the country were futile, I tried to see her injury—the bruises she was hiding from me inside the blanket—but she was adamant in pushing me away. Even my attempts in feeding her soup didn't go anywhere; therefore, I decided to leave her be for a while and come back to check on her later.

Maybe, when I tried again after she'd rested, she might change her mind and hear me out this time.

My mother skipped her lunch, but when dinner came, she took a few spoonfuls of soup. She declined any offers I had for companionship and wanted to be left alone, so I granted her wishes.

By ten that night, my mind swirled with all kinds of things. I had been arguing with myself over whether I should call Hugo and tell him I had safely landed and was okay. I wasn't sure if he'd care because he hadn't tried to contact me, either. Assuming and reassuring myself that he was busy and need not to be interrupted, I simply convinced myself that he was probably relieved not to have me around. Sure, we had been having fun for the past weeks, but I was certain he missed his old lifestyle. I mean, come on, the man hadn't had the real hot sex he'd gluttonously had over the years. So without me in sight, I was almost positive that he'd had Sherry or Chantel flown in for a hot, sweaty reunion.

Thinking about them with Hugo... Well, it made me feel a little angry. Only a little. I knew he wasn't mine, nor were we in love or anything, but still, we had been intimate in the every possible aspect without going all the way in a physical sense. He was great—funny when need be and sinfully sexy as hell—but that's all there was. There was no depth to our circumstance. Well, that was my opinion, anyway.

Sighing, I gripped my phone before deciding to insert it in my back jean pocket as I heard the faint sound of the doorbell chime.

Was it father? He usually left his keys, especially when he was drunk. Bloody hell, the last thing I needed to end the night was a fight with my father. Couldn't he have at least stayed back for another week or something? Or maybe never come back home again? He was a useless husband, so what point did he have in coming back here, anyway?

My defenses were up. My guards were alert. I was ready to fight him even if he'd end up choking me to death. He needed to see that this wasn't right—what he was doing to my mother was an act done by a monster.

Fuming before yanking the door wide open, I opened my mouth to say something that would set my father off in a rage when I stopped myself short, shocked.

_"Damen?"_ I stared at him, aghast and at the same time my heart ceasing to work for a moment at seeing him again after such a long absence. "What are you doing here?"

"When I heard you were back for a visit, I knew I had to see you." He made a sexy, shy smile, eyes glued to me, awe and love visible in them. "You look beautiful, Isobel."

_Damn... no. Don't go there_ , I silently begged with my eyes before looking away because my heart started to hurt.

"Damen, I can't do this right now. My mum's sick. My life is complicated and chaotic as it is. I hope you understand that." My words seemed to strike him before I saw a flash of anger in his face, then it disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Why?" He sounded truly hurt by my immediate rejection to his intentions of seeing me. "Did you expect that I would just step back because you left me a voicemail? _We're together_ —stop running away from me."

Above all things, my heart went out to him, but I knew I shouldn't melt my resolve because I had signed a contract with Hugo. It was written in bold letters that I was to not be alone with ex-lovers, or any man for that matter. This was definitely crossing the line, and the last thing I needed was for Hugo to find out. It would snap his already thinning patience with me.

"I'm not _running away._ I mean... It's just complicated."

"What's the difference with _not_ being with me and _being_ with me while you're interning at The Riviera? I'm confused 'cause you were supposed to come back after you visited your father, and all of a sudden, things changed," he pressed the subject, not willing to let it go as he started to come closer, much closer than I felt comfortable with. "Am I missing something here?" he asked in an almost whispered voice, breaking my guard a little.

His brows furrowed as he searched my eyes for answers. "If you feel pressured about our plans for the future, then say so. I won't speak about it again if it makes you panic." Then his eyes dropped to my lips, leaving me breathless.

_Damen, please... stay back._ My heart and my body responded like they usually did.

He was familiar and the man I was in love with. Could I really find fault in my reaction to him?

"I never felt pressured. Not with you—never with you." My eyes glassed with moisture as I gave him a pleading look. "Damen... please."

" _Iso_ , don't break me like this."

"It's only temporary. I promise." Fuck, I could feel my conscience kicking in, working its way into my heart, my once steel resolve becoming shaky.

Damn, he wouldn't heed anything. He simply pushed on, persisting to know answers that had boggled him ever since I had broken it off with him.

"Did you fall in love with some other guy? Is that why you wanted to take a break?" He looked broken before, but after asking me this, he seemed to be in a great amount of pain.

I shook my head, not willing to deny my feelings for him. I wasn't all that cruel, after all. "No! Of course not." This was something I could tell him, at least, and hopefully, it'd help ease his pain.

He took a moment and bit his bottom lip before looking down at the floor, looking lost in thought. After a good minute or so, when he did look up, I couldn't read his face. His eyes sought mine as he stepped closer, drowning me in the familiar depths that I'd stared at for years and years of us being together. The quick jab in my heart made me bleed when I saw how much this break-up had taken a toll on him. He still looked gorgeous, yet there was something lacking in his eyes. The smile in his eyes was gone, replaced by something sad and gloomy.

"Do you still love me?"

_Did he think that I didn't?_ I thought ch to myself as I stared into him, seeking what I had just asked myself. In that instant, I realized that he had considered everything, even this. That my love had simply ebbed away without looking back. This...

_This_ broke my resolve.

"I do," I said as I shut down my brain and let my heart reign free. "I still love you."

He reached out to cup my cheek, bringing my face towards him. "Then what's the problem, Iso?" he asked, and before I had the chance to respond, he kissed my answer away, forgetting everything I had just told myself not to do, letting my emotions go haywire.

I was in Greece for an entire week with no sightings of my father, nor had we heard from him. I couldn't leave without having to beg my grandmother to lend one of her helpers to live with my mother until she was well and could function on her own again. My grandmother was, of course, reluctant at first, but my relentless pursuit of the subject left her exhausted. So in the very end, it was my grandfather who told me that it was okay to borrow one of the ladies to help nurse my mum.

The short visit caused a lot of resentment and anger, yet at the same time, I couldn't take back what had happened with Damen after we kissed. The man wouldn't let me go after that. Moreover, given my high emotional state, I didn't fight him off when he went further, taking his intentions to another level.

## Chapter Twenty-Five

# Hugo

"Isobel," I said the second I got inside her bedroom without knocking, "it's good to see you back." Beaming, I let my eyes rove over her beautiful face and body, needing assurance that she was safe and unharmed. She was putting her computer aside and hadn't said a word. My curiosity was piqued at her odd behavior. "Aren't you going to come here and greet me properly?" I slowly strode over to her, resolving her lack of response for exhaustion.

Once I got to her on the other side of the bed where she was sitting and waiting, I immediately kissed her forehead before cradling her cheek to kiss her on the lips. Her intoxicating scent filled my nostrils, and I instantly felt a wave of calmness wash over me.

"You've been gone for far too long. How is your mother? I hope she is well and safe." I searched her eyes and was taken aback to see hers stare back at me full of trouble and hesitation. "Is something the matter?"

She shook her head before licking her lips and looking away. "My mum will eventually get better. Thanks for asking."

I frowned as I gazed upon her, knowing very well that my instincts couldn't be far off when they were telling me that something was amiss. "Is there something you want to tell me, Isobel?" My voice may be soft, but I was on edge, hoping she wasn't hiding anything from me.

She made a wan smile. "I'm just tired..." she trailed off. "I didn't get much sleep once I got there, so I'm beyond exhausted."

I nodded, worried. "Of course. Have you had dinner?" It was half past eight, and from what I had been told, she hadn't had a nibble of food since she'd flown in two hours ago. I would've gone home to welcome her back immediately, but I had barely flown in myself from Switzerland after some business. I had immediately come straight to see her, bound with excitement and expectation. I definitely hadn't been picturing her as cold and distant. Weary and exhausted? Yes, of course. But standoffish? No. Especially not after how things had been between us before she'd left.

She declined my invitation for dinner, excusing herself to the bathroom to shower while I stared after her, pondering what had gone wrong.

Listening to her movements in the bathroom, I looked about her room for about five minutes before deciding to leave her be. Perhaps we could talk again in an hour or so. Maybe she'd feel better then.

Finally getting up to leave her room, I strode towards the other wing on the opposite side of the villa to my bedroom to change. All the while, I thought of our cold and detached exchange in her bedroom.

Entering my domain, I headed straight to my walk-in closet before taking my clothes off to shower before dinner. I wasn't particularly hungry; however, I felt I needed to give her space even though all I wanted was to spend the entire night with her in her bed... naked... while we caught up on events. I wanted to hear what had happened on her trip in Athens, amongst other things.

After a quick shower, I went downstairs to work whilst having dinner, biding time until I felt she'd had enough time of her own before facing me again.

The intended one hour wait became two as I was consumed by the current project I was working on. I took a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts, feeling slightly euphoric at the thought of tasting her again tonight. After a week without her here and with no distractions to speak of, my mind—whenever not occupied with work—had continuously wandered towards her, wondering how she was doing in Athens.

There were times when I wanted to simply call her and ask her myself, but I also wanted her to have some privacy since her mother was ill and she probably couldn't be bothered. I thought that, if she truly wanted to talk, she would've easily called me. However, after her quick message stating that she had arrived and was fine, nothing had come from her. From then on, I had counted the days until she was back here with me, in my house where I could see her whenever I wanted.

Sherry and Chantel were back from their vacations and the two had moved in to the hotel because I had made a vow to myself that I would concentrate solely on Isobel, and I meant to keep that promise. The ladies, of course, were baffled with the immediate change of living arrangements, yet I wasn't one to fully disclose my life, even to my past lovers. I meant to speak to them once I'd had a discussion with Isobel before letting them both go with a hefty parting present.

Leaving my library, I pictured her in bed, dressed in one of those silky, short, slip-on nightdresses with nothing underneath. She knew I went berserk whenever she did that. And since she and I hadn't seen each other in a while, I was hoping she'd be more than eager to participate tonight in what I had hungered for.

Striding towards her room, each step that got me closer to my destination made me feel nervous all of a sudden. I wasn't sure why, but her unwelcoming response had been so unexpected that it somehow pained me a little.

Not bothering to knock on her door, I let myself inside and found her on the bed with her laptop, just as I had found her earlier. When she saw me enter, she immediately shut it off and placed it on the side table before giving me a pained smile.

"Hey, I was wondering where you've been."

Maybe it was the fake smile that I had just witnessed or her odd attitude, but I surely didn't buy the fact that she was "wondering" where I'd been. Had she meant it, she could've easily found me downstairs, but she hadn't.

"I've been in the library this whole time, working as I nibbled on dinner.

"So, tell me about your trip," I stated as I slowly took my clothes off. She watched me with hesitation, as if she wanted to look yet didn't deem it suitable, which was another point that got me confused. She had seen me naked countless times; what had changed to make her shy and reluctant like she had been in the very beginning?

"Very quiet. My father wasn't there when I landed, thank goodness for that." She sounded relieved, although something was bothering her.

Knowing myself, I'd wait until I fully had an idea of what was causing her to act this way before confronting her about it. Maybe it was just the stress of it all, but something nagged at me, and I simply couldn't place what it was.

Shrugging off the rest of my clothing, I slid into bed with her before I automatically pulled her freshly scented body towards me. Spooning her, my cock immediately nestled against her pert bottom. My nose indulged in her smell as I kissed along the back of her neck and shoulder blade.

"I couldn't get you out of my head, ma belle." My hand sought the end of her silk nightdress before my hand reached farther down her body, needing more of her. "Take this off, I want to see," I rasped out with urgency, hoping I'd calm the hell down and savor her slowly, like a decadent dessert that needed to be relished with each bite, tasting every aspect of its phenomenal flavor.

She made a soft gasp when I hastily took off the dress. Then my lips lunged and clasped on her nipple, biting and tasting her with gusto.

"Hugo..." she rasped out, seeming like she wanted to stop me, yet she moaned with each touch I granted her.

"Relax, ma chérie. I promise to make it good for you." My lips trailed along her jawline as I slowly situated myself in between her legs, desperate to feel the heat of her warmth, to feel the slickness of her moisture as I slid along her slit. My hunger felt like it was eating me alive. I wanted her so much that it borderlined on being painful.

The hunger surely dissipated the moment my eyes caught something on the base of her neck. It was faint, but it was an obvious mark—a mark that lovers leave on a woman's skin when marking their territory. The fainting color around it told me that this hickey wasn't fresh, but for her to even have one was beyond baffling.

Pausing, I tried to breathe in through my nostril; however, the lacerating pain of betrayal immediately got to me. Therefore, I slowly made a grunting sound before rolling back to my side of the bed.

The moment my head hit the pillow, my lips pressed together as my arm covered my shut eyes, needing to think, needing to make sense of things.

_It couldn't have been some random man,_ I thought with alacrity. Isobel wouldn't dare violate our contract unless it was someone she couldn't resist—this man being her ex and only lover, Damen Zabat.

"Hugo?" Her voice was a small whisper, hearing her say my name only adding to the intensity of her betrayal.

So young and so innocent. How easily she had been swayed by the man she loved.

_Did she fuck him, too?_ I thought as I tasted acid on my tongue. God, I hoped not.

"Sleep well, ma belle. I'm sorry that I even tried tonight." Not wanting to talk any longer, I pushed my feelings aside and pulled her body towards me once more. This time, I meant nothing sexual but to have her close as we slept the night away, just like before. Before she acted upon her passions.

I could get past this. However, if I ever found out that she had gone beyond the usual kissing and petting, this was over for good.

Betrayals didn't bide well with me, even if the woman in question was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes upon, or that she made me feel senseless and helpless to the point of being pathetic.

Even in my pursuit of passions, that, too, had a limit.

* * *

* * *

"There's a delivery for Miss Isobel Callas. Should I give it to Benoît?" my secretary popped her head in the office, asking me a question that merely ignited my suspicions.

" _Non_. Bring it to me," I responded before my jaw locked, before grinding my teeth together as I told myself to hold it together when the only thing I wanted to do was throw something at the wall.

Delivery for Isobel _from whom?_ From her father? I hardly thought the bastard would have the guts to do such a thing. Could it have been from her friends in London? If so, why the hell didn't she tell them the address to the villa instead of the hotel? There was something that didn't match up. The moment that the _delivery_ arrived in my office, I wondered no longer.

It was a large flower arrangement. A massive, grandiose display of pink, red, white, and green blooms was set on the coffee table. I stared at it as if I was gauging an opponent before I carried on with a plan of attack.

The hickey and now this? Even a daft man could figure out what this all meant.

I grunted out a cruel laugh before I bolted out of my seat, scowling at the white envelope that had her name all over it.

Staring at the card, it took me a second to decide whether to read it or not. My possessive streak, added with my piqued curiosity, jumbled with the hurt and betrayal that Isobel struck me with. There wasn't even a moment's hesitation before I yanked the card off the vase and opened that damning thing.

* * *

_To my Isobel,_

* * *

_Spending most of our time in bed, making love and talking about the future, made me realize that what we share is something special—and it's worth fighting for. So this is me, fighting for what we have. What we've always had._

_Your heart never lies. Not when it was beating against my own, not when you kissed me, or when you made love to me. I felt your love, Iso. Don't be afraid, I'm not going anywhere._

_I miss you, and I'll wait for however long it takes until you're back in my arms again._

* * *

_Happy 4 th year anniversary, my love._

_Damen_

* * *

No wonder she didn't want anything to do with me when she got back. Though she'd moaned for a bit under my arms, there was no mistaking that she hadn't fully been enjoying any of it.

_Because_ she'd slept with him. _For how long?_ My mind rankled. The entire duration of her stay in Athens? Most probably.

First came the rage, the heated curl of jealousy that seemed to have settled in my chest, before sadness weighed above it all.

There was a part of me which had kept on hoping—holding out a torch that there was something there, something more underneath the surface—but I had been wrong. _Very wrong._

I had been too self-assured—too arrogant—to think that she'd change her mind when it came to me. That she'd follow the rest of the women who couldn't stop wanting and chasing me. That, if I just made enough effort, she'd see how I was willing to try and accommodate her needs to make her happy. But I had been a fool.

_She made me into a fool._

Just when I'd thought things were going somewhere, life had sent a reality check.

Last night, I should've confronted her with the hickey; however, I had been in denial, thinking it wasn't that big of a deal. But it fucking was!

I should be grateful that I had caught it early on so I didn't have to be a much bigger fool than I already was.

For the first time, I had no clue of where to take it from here.

## Chapter Twenty-Six

# Isobel

Languidly sitting on my dresser chair while I did my nightly beauty routine, I didn't notice Hugo leaning against the wall, staring back at me in the mirror until he cleared his throat to get my attention.

"Hey, have you been here long?" I asked nervously, caught off guard by his odd behavior and the mercurial look he had. Was he that ticked off about last night? Most likely. The guy did hate the word _no_. Therefore, my reluctance at receiving him last night for his usual nightly festivities possibly hadn't pleased His Highness at all.

He didn't move from his spot, though his eyes shifted to whatever I was doing, applying creams one after the other before I did a quick application of lip balm.

"Not that long, I believe..." he trailed off and didn't say anything else until I brought my eyes towards his reflection once more. "There was a delivery for you."

"Oh." What delivery? Frowning, I told myself to breathe in calmness before speaking again. __ "Who's it from?" My tone didn't betray how much of a nervous wreck I was inside.

"There was no sender, so I was assuming you'd know who." His eyes didn't leave mine as they burned holes through me. "The item is in your bedroom, in case you were wondering."

"Oh," I meekly said as I gradually stood up with shaky legs as I pondered and feared who the delivery had come from.

Praying it wasn't from Damen, I emerged from the vast walk-in closet heading towards the bedroom. The second I saw the elaborate flowers in the vase, sitting on the coffee table, I didn't have to wonder for too long. Alas, my fears were answered. One look at it confirmed who it was from. It was the very same present I got each year.

My heart constricted at the thought of Damen truly thinking I was working at The Riviera. The lies I had weaved to keep him in the dark might haunt me, but I had to do what was best for his faith and love for me to always remain intact. Damen was a great guy, and I loved him and longed for the future he had mapped out for the both of us.

Striding over towards the blooms, my forefinger touched the soft, silky petal before I bent over and smelled their powerful, saccharine sweet scent, overwhelmed by the emotions that rolled off me. Today was supposed to be our fourth anniversary, and even though I had pushed off all his attempts in sending me anything, he still had gone ahead with his yearly flower delivery. He was a thoughtful, wonderful man, and I was lucky that he'd decided to wait for me until I was back in England.

"Did you happen to read the note?" I distractedly asked Hugo, knowing he wasn't far behind, watching me closely as I plucked the card off and stared at my name written in black, bold letters.

"No," he rasped out. "I didn't."

Thank goodness. I silently uttered a prayer of thanks, knowing very well that Hugo's personality—the possessive jealous kind—wouldn't abide well with this had he read it. Damen always poured his heart in these cards, and I would hate for Hugo to invade my privacy as well as I would truly abhor the fact that he could use it against me and my father to sever the contract. That could've been a massive maelstrom atop of all the problems I had.

Breathing out a loud sighing release, I quickly turned my head to see where Hugo was. Just as I had guessed, he was a few feet away, scrutinizing everything I did.

Beaming widely at him, I gave him thanks for bothering to bring it here. "It's from my friends. They just miss me, that's all."

He nonchalantly nodded before trying to smile back at me. "Thoughtful friends are always nice to have. You're a lucky girl. You seem to surround yourself with people who adore you very much."

"Thank you. Yeah, I guess I'm lucky if you put it that way." Slowly striding towards him until I gazed upon his dark, beautiful face, I tiptoed to kiss him softly on the lips. "Working late again tonight?"

"Something like that."

His unwelcoming attitude alerted me to make some much needed effort to please him. "Did you eat?" I questioned, but I thought better, knowing how he usually nibbled on something whilst working. "How about a nightcap? It's quite balmy outside. The fresh air might help you relieve some tension. You work too much."

"Aunt Julee moved into the penthouse suite in the hotel so she could function and work better from there, but her hourly daily visits are driving me mad. It seems to me that I don't have any patience for such trivial interest in gossip and her grinding remarks about her soon-to-be ex-husband's betrayal."

Damn, I hadn't thought of her since I had come back. I had been caught up texting and emailing back and forth with Damen and the addition of video chat surely didn't help with my concentration. Julee had a lot of people to help her with the event, so maybe I wasn't needed there. Besides, the woman had loathed me on the spot. It was difficult to be around her and breathe in her negativity without feeling less than optimistic myself.

"I had truly forgotten about your aunt and Elena. So if Julee is staying at the hotel, where's your cousin?"

"She met a guy, and they decided to sail about Italy. They claim to be in love, or so she says. Nevertheless, this is typical Elena behavior." He shrugged, as if it wasn't so boggling to have his cousin depart mid-summer season.

Free-spirited and did as she pleased, I admired that about her. But at the same time, I envied that, too, because I couldn't freely express myself without repercussions. Julee might be a total bitch, but it was apparent that she loved her daughter. My mother, on the other hand, was too busy pining for her husband to even notice that she had children of her own to take care of. And as for my father, well, there wasn't much to say about him other than less colorful attributes that he ceaselessly reminded us of whenever he could.

"So are you up for a nightcap with me, or are you too exhausted to do any of that?" I looked at him expectantly, hoping that he'd say yes so I could at least make up for my less than spectacular attitude last night.

"Of course..." he sighed before finally giving my forehead a whisper-soft kiss on it. "I'll meet you downstairs. Don't make me wait long. I've thought of you all day."

His blatant honesty melted my very guilty heart. As much as I wanted to tell him the truth, I knew I couldn't for fear of unleashing something that would be out of my control and would only summon my father back in life. No, I just couldn't.

"See you in a bit." I waved him off before almost running towards the walk-in closet. With Damen's letter in hand, I stashed it in one of my drawers so I could read it when I had privacy. Then I slid off my robe and chose a simple, cotton dress that wasn't too simple yet showed enough skin to entice Hugo's eyes.

Smelling like fresh citrus blooms and face free of any artifice, I strolled out of my room and went to go find him out on the veranda with a few candles lighting up the small, intimate garden settee. Different types of cheeses, a few selections of grapes, castelvetrano olives, and dried fruits were lavishly spread out on a platter. Vintage champagne chilled in the ice bucket, bottles of red wine, and other, harder and much pricier liquor lined about. The cozy ambiance, the sound of the soft waves hitting the shore, the faint noise of cicadas in the background, and the stoic man with his back to me as he stared at the sea before him, surely made these intimate surroundings... so much more.

"Hey," I called out to him, hoping he'd change back to the sweet, seductive man from last night. At the same time, I knew wishing for it would be a bad idea as well. My situation was beyond sticky and complicated. It wasn't just me or Damen that would be affected if things went awry. I had Yannis and my mother to think about; subsequently, I best keep my thoughts and priorities aligned, or else my father's wrath, the next it lashes out, would truly be unforgiving.

Compromise.

The word seemed to have overused itself when it came to me. However, it was the only thing that would make sense out of everything I had done as of late.

My eyes wandered about the alcoholic bottles as I contemplated what to drink first. I noticed Hugo had moved from his stance and was making his way towards me.

"I hope you don't mind my dress." I slightly blushed when I realized how informal I looked, not like what he was used to, and opposed to his dapper self. Then again, whatever he wore, he never failed to appear as though the clothes were meant for his body. His easy confidence and magnetic appeal were a persistent lure to any woman's appreciative glances.

His eyes... Though I wasn't staring at them, I felt their intensity as they scrutinized my simple outfit, which truly didn't help with my embarrassment. "The dress?" his eyebrow rose, slightly inquiring. "It's lovely, _but_ if you're unhappy with it, you're more than welcome to take it off and slowly strip before me."

"Like that last time, you mean?" I added, a little breathless as I recalled the night where he watched me strip naked before he intimately touched me in places.

_For heaven's sake, Isobel, get it together!_ I reprimanded myself when the familiar stirrings of Hugo's magic started to work on me. The second I realized what I had just done, Damen's loving face appeared before my very eyes, making me snap out of my trance.

"You were scared of me then, were you not?" His question threw me off a little.

Was it obvious that I hadn't wanted to go through with it that night? Maybe so. Maybe that was why he had changed his mind with me, too, and thrown that two-week challenge, which seemed to have been unsuccessful.

"I was..."

The memory seemed so long ago.

"Champagne?" He gestured towards the iced bottle before giving me a pointed look. "Or red? White? _Cognac_?"

"Champagne is fine. Thanks."

As I watched him through my lashes, he carefully poured me a drink in a crystal flute before handing it to me. After pouring his own, he then faced me, drink in hand, before he slowly lifted his. "So, what should we toast for tonight? Best wishes? Anything congratulatory perhaps?"

"Not on my part."

"Not on mine, either," he mused. "So what should we toast to?"

A universal question that wasn't so hard to respond to. "Here's to good health and good luck?"

"I suppose that could work," he murmured before raising his glass, wishing me well as I did the same.

I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but something was off. Maybe it was the way he was looking at me tonight that got me edgy, or the way he simply looked too good to be real. I couldn't seem to stray my eyes away from him. _Had he always been this gorgeous?_ I wondered in frustration.

He cleared his throat before addressing me again. "Fancy a quick dip in the sea?"

I laughed at his question since the last time had almost gotten me killed from extreme fright. "I think I'm fine for now, though I do promise to let you know if I'm up for it later."

His eyes twinkled, as if he, too, was remembering my major humiliation. "How about dancing? Fancy doing that with me?"

Dancing sounded brilliant compared to being mauled and surrounded by sea mammals or predators lurking about. "Dancing sounds perfect."

He nodded before producing a remote out of nowhere. Then he pressed a button and a soft, mellow music filtered through the background.

Downing the rest of my drink, I let out a small groan before I made my way towards him. Really, there was something gravitating about him, the pull was much more powerful than the last time. I wished I could easily ask him what it was, but I thought better of it.

Placing his empty glass on the nearest flat surface, he gently pulled me into his arms, placing one hand on the side of my hips. The music had a throaty, male voice singing in the background, adding a touch of melancholy and romance in the air.

"What's the name of this song?" Lifting my chin to meet his gaze, I was instantly overwhelmed by this sudden need to kiss him.

"La Vie en Rose," he rasped out, making me stare directly at his lips, which were looking much more enticing as the seconds ticked away.

"I like it..." I trailed off, still unglued from the sight of his lips.

_"Ma belle,"_ he groaned out in such a way that made me yearn for things I shouldn't be even thinking. "Did you think of me at all?"

Yes and no, depending on the circumstances. "Sometimes, when I wasn't preoccupied with personal things," I lied lightly, hoping that my answer would suffice his curiosity.

"I'm sure you were busy with your mother," he thoughtfully added before I gave a small nod, a little ashamed of my lies.

"Yeah, it was a bit chaotic. Thanks for understanding."

Hugo released a sigh before chastely kissing my forehead. "I do understand. I really do."

For the rest of the night, we barely spoke, simply dancing the night away. He didn't release me until it was time for us to head back inside the house. Just as expected, he came to sleep in my bedroom. And just as I'd predicted, he tried to get me naked as well, but this time, my reluctance in doing any intimacy with him was quite obvious compared to last night.

"Hugo, I'm sorry, but I can't," I rushed out, feeling mighty frustrated that I was turned on and wanted him to go through with it. Yet I just fucking couldn't do it. "It's that time of the month." Another lie sprung out of nowhere, which was more viable if I thought hard about it. "I hope you don't mind." I couldn't even look him in the eye because I knew, without a doubt, that it hurt him.

"I see," was all he said before turning off the light.

Instead of acting like a complete jackass, I was surprised when I felt him hold me, barely whispering "dream sweet" into my ear before I fell asleep, dreaming about him.

## Chapter Twenty-Seven

# Isobel

The ingenious idea of being on my period gave me a short-term hiatus from Hugo's sexual persistence. For about a week, he would come home and sleep with me, holding me close without even trying to do anything, not even kissing.

At first, the relief for having his understanding and withdrawal was a blessing. However, as the days went by without him trying _anything_ , it got me a tad worried. Even engaging him in conversations about how his day went or pointless and useless subjects that usually were a laugh between us back in the day didn't seem to rouse any spark from him. Hugo became detached, yet he didn't push me away in bed and still sought my warmth, holding me close every night without fail.

After the week ended with me worried instead of the other way around, I thought to myself that I needed to at least make an effort. Maybe if I could give him what he used to get from me, maybe it would help ease his grumpiness. Although I vowed not to initiate anything further with Hugo, I couldn't help feeling awful since he was more than entitled to take what should've been his. Yet, his respectful nature had prevailed, giving me a choice. A decision. If I wanted to have him or not.

With my decision already made, it was noon when I summoned one of his drivers in the villa to take me to see Hugo at The Riviera.

The drive wasn't a long one, and the moment I got there, I immediately headed straight for his office, deciding I wanted to take him out to eat. However, when I got there, it seemed that he'd just came back from one with _Sherry_.

I spotted them the second I got out of the elevator. They were strolling about, laughing at something as she held on to his arm while he had his hand almost cupping her pert bottom. The scene before me was so unexpected the emotions that welled out of me truly were a surprise. In a matter of seconds, I felt hot with intense jealousy racking me. The feeling was so acute I had a hard time breathing, and it felt as if my body was shaking, or maybe it truly was shaking. I wasn't sure. Everything seemed to be happening at an alarming rate, and I couldn't comprehend how to function.

I wasn't his anything, so I wasn't sure how to approach them, or maybe I should just let them be. I could go back to the villa and pretend that I hadn't gone out of my way to see him, and maybe pick up where things had halted before I left for Athens.

My back and forth of weighing things went on a screeching halt when I saw Sherry's hand disappear somewhere in his nether region, quite possibly on his dick. What enraged me most was Hugo's look of pure delight. They were going to fuck... in his office. The sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and without thought, I paced towards them, needing to put an end to their sordid display of wretchedness where any of his employees could easily witness if they pried hard enough.

"Hugo," I uttered his name in such a painful fashion I almost felt faint with it.

He heard me call out to him, and the moment our eyes connected, he pulled Sherry to whisper into her ear while I stopped in my tracks, staring at them both.

In my stillness, I caught a different side of Hugo. There was tenderness even in the way he was speaking to her or how he was holding her close to him. I hadn't witnessed the kind of bond he had with her and Chantel.

The curling feeling in my gut worsened when I saw him give her a chaste kiss on the lips before she bestowed him one of her flirty smiles then moved away, sashaying her bountiful assets as she headed my way. While she passed me, she granted me a small, mischievous smile before entering the elevator.

I stared after her as jealousy doubled when I realized that I would probably never be as confident as her and couldn't entice a man by merely blinking. _How long has he been seeing her again?_ I thought sadly.

"Isobel," he called out to me, his face giving nothing away.

Swallowing whatever I could muster to moisten the dryness of my throat, I forced myself to shake out of my trance and move towards where he was patiently waiting, holding the door open to his office. I knew without even speaking to him that something had shifted between us. Even with this realization, the second I passed him and smelled his scent, there was something inside me that snapped.

"Are you fucking her?" I shot him the question even before he had the chance to shut the door properly. Once it was secured, he took his jolly time to stroll about the room, making himself a drink, while I stood there, simmering slowly in my own twisted and unexpected sprout of jealousy—the jealousy that had taken me aback because, before today, I hadn't been aware I felt anything for him other than sexually. Maybe there was more to it than I had let on, but I wasn't going to ponder it this instant. Maybe later on when I had the chance to truly see the reason behind it all.

Hugo made an effort to clear his throat, biding his time to finish the contents of his glass before he slammed it hard against the black granite counterpane. "Would it matter if I did or didn't?" The lack of emotion in his voice gave me a clue of what kind of mood he was in, and I certainly didn't have to guess. He wasn't at all happy about my interference.

I gave him a hard look, seriously displeased by his lack of caring about the subject. "Are you?" I pressed on, incredulous. "You are, aren't you? It's because I've been less engaging lately, and you just couldn't help yourself."

He made a dry laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're one to talk. You're the one who broke one of the rules. The _first_ rule, in fact."

Horror, shame, and embarrassment at my naiveté for being so stupid all along washed over me.

"You read the letter," I gasped in shock, wondering why he'd never said anything to me. "You've known all along."

Hugo looked away, but before he did so, I caught a glimpse of him wincing. After all the shame and humiliation, another emotion sprouted...

Fear.

My actions had repercussions, and since I was already caught in my own web of lies, Hugo had every right to revoke everything.

"Hugo..." I pleaded as I slowly moved towards him, but he stepped back, not wanting me to come near him. His blatant rejection heightened the fear in me. "If you're thinking of voiding the contract—"

"I'm not," he interrupted, giving a halt to my doubts and worries.

"God, thank you so much," I rushed out as I thoughtlessly ran up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck for a hug before something possessed me to try to kiss him.

Hugo immediately stilled, getting ahold of my arms to stop me from doing anything with a death grip on my limbs. "Please, don't insult me, Isobel," he grunted out the words laced with hate.

Ever since I had come back from Athens, I had truly avoided seeing anything that pertained to him. However, at this moment, the blinds were down, the cast was off, and for the first time since I'd betrayed his loyalty, I saw the anger he had hidden away from me.

Seeing it with my own eyes merely heightened the fear and fright inside me, even though he'd given me his word that he wouldn't void the contract because of my indiscretion.

He couldn't even look at me, really look at me like he used to.

"Hugo, you should've said something..." I made a choking sound, feeling wretched all over again. "All this time—every night you held me—yet you never uttered a word about it."

"What was there to say, Isobel?" There was bleakness in his voice, as if he was shutting me off already. "You made your decision, and I just had to regard that."

"I'm sorry," I uttered with sincerity. "You've been so kind to me, even though you have every right to do as you pleased, but you were generous enough to give me freedom to choose and make decisions."

I gazed at him, waiting for him to say something. Instead of speaking, he moved towards his large, luxurious desk. Reaching it, he then decided to open a drawer, pulling out something from it. The manila envelope looked daunting as he held it before him. He seemed deep in thought as he pressed his lips together.

"I meant to give this to you at a later time, but now that you're here, I think this is as good as any."

A sheen of perspiration coated my skin as I froze in momentary dread of what that envelope contained. My heart galloped at an alarming rate when I saw him move towards me, stopping before me with a great amount of space still between us before handing me the damning thing.

"This is for you."

"What's in it?" I asked in a small, frightened voice.

He gestured towards the envelope that was now in my possession. "Open it and you'll see."

Licking my chafed lips, the whisper of doubts in my head ceased to exist the moment I found what was inside the ominous envelope. It had a bank account under my name with the same amount that my father owed, with a seal from The Royal Bank of Scotland. In it, I also located a bill that stated that the rest of my school tuition was already paid for.

Gripping the paper in my hand, aghast at his generosity, even after all I had done or not done to him, made me feel like a bloody heel. "You paid my tuition? What's with this bank account with all this money in it?" I shook my head in confusion. "I'm confused." But that was before I found the last item, a piece of heavy weight paper on the very bottom of the pile, a deed to a flat in London, fully paid and with my name attached to it. "What the bloody Hell is all this, Hugo?" My eyes watered as I stared at him in horror. His kindness was killing me inside.

"You've fulfilled the contract, Isobel."

"But it's only been about two months... I don't understand, Hugo." How had I fulfilled it when we hadn't done anything? Besides, he was handing me all these things in the envelope that were so much more than what my father owed him.

He strode over to the glass wall that overlooked the scenic Monaco and its heart-warming beauty, biding time until he finally said, "You're free to leave." He let the words hang in the air as I fought for my brain to comprehend what he'd just said. "Let's put this behind us. It's time to stop the games and get on with our lives. If you have any problems, contact my secretary for anything you need—food, money, school. There should be a card in the envelope with her contact number. You can reach her anytime for whatever you need."

_Money? His secretary? What was I, a charity case?_

"B-b-but..." I stuttered, thoughts disarray from his immediate decision of cutting ties with me. "After all this—what we shared—you don't even want to stay in touch, do you?" The realization hit me to the core. That's why his secretary's number was attached to begin with. He had thought this out while he held me every night. He had been slowly letting me go without me knowing it. It was cruel. He should've said something at least. _"Why?"_ I asked, not sure what I was truly asking him.

"You were forced into this. Now, you're free." He shrugged, still not willing to spin around and face me. He seemed content in staring at the world below his feet while I simply gazed at his back and his beautiful, handsome reflection in the glass. "Why question any of this? You're free to go, Isobel. Why are you even here, spouting off questions when you should've run out of here, packed the rest of your things in the villa, and caught the first flight out of here?"

He was right; I should've done those things. And maybe I would've had I known he was setting me free so soon. However, since I'd had no clue when I woke up today, thinking that maybe we could compromise on his needs once more, I was, of course, left reeling, left with a lot of questions I wasn't ready to face yet.

"You said you wanted me," I wondered out loud as I tried to patch everything together in my slowly registering brain.

"Everything's changed."

Naïve I might be, but I definitely wasn't daft. Of course everything had changed. But there was a part of me that wanted to hope that maybe he'd forgive me for my indiscretion and for maybe hurting his pride and male ego.

"How about if we stay in touch?" My light suggestion went unanswered; as a result, I pressed on with the caveat, _"As friends?"_

He snorted, finding my idea a bit absurd for his standards. "I don't think that's possible. I choose my friends wisely, and since trust and loyalty isn't really your strongest suit, I'll pass."

His words stung. They went straight to my heart. I hadn't been aware his opinion about me actually mattered that much, but hearing him say it out loud made me feel unbelievably tiny. I'd let him down badly, and there was no way in hell he would ever consider me for anything, not even as a friend. Ouch.

"Hugo." Tears started to form in my eyes. "You can't just let me leave like this. We need to talk... please."

"You're wasting precious time, Isobel. Besides, this is a working day for me; I don't have time to spare."

He was shutting me down, and I wasn't ready to go yet. My stubbornness kicked in, needing him to give me a little time.

Wiping my tears away, my soft sobs didn't do anything for him. Hugo remained distant, still staring at the view below him. "Why do I feel like this is goodbye?"

"Because it is," he confirmed with ease.

He'd had seven days to come to terms with any of this, yet I'd barely had an hour and he simply wanted me to hop on and pretend as if he and I hadn't shared anything—no intimacy... nothing. His callousness wasn't a side I was accustomed to. Being in the forefront of his brashness was quite a painful thing to adhere.

" _So that's it?_ You got bored with me and now you're ready to have Sherry and Chantel or whomever you fancy take my place?"

He remained silent.

His detachment shook me mad. _"Answer me, damn you!"_ I screeched at him, wanting him to feel this hollow pain that was eating me alive.

After a full second, he finally spun around to face me, bearing his usual mercurial self. Truly unreadable. "I have to go. My plane's waiting," he simply informed me like I hadn't just screamed at him. He was the epitome of calmness, while I was a raging inferno.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye," I threw at him, meaning every single word of it. "I feel like there's more to say. Don't leave like this. Please."

"All you've ever wanted is your freedom to go back home, to your friends." His eyes focused on me with a look of indifference, or was that disgust? I wasn't so sure which one. "You're free from any contractual obligations," he pointed out once more, highlighting my freedom. "What more do you _want_ , Isobel?"

"I want more time," I said without thought. "I know I've been distant and temperamental. It's because of Damen—" I tried to reason with him, maybe show him a little of how much torment I'd been putting myself through to make him understand, but he wasn't having any of it.

"That's enough, Isobel."

Shaking my head, I was adamant to stay. "But I'm not ready to go—"

"Isobel..."

"Please, I'm begging you."

"No. This is it, Isobel." He stared into me, making me feel as if he'd reached into my heart with his bare hand and squeezed it until it no longer functioned. "This is goodbye."

With my tears, pleas, and heartache, I put a piece of myself out on display. "If I wasn't in love with him, I could've given you what you wanted the most, but I can't betray my heart. I hope you can see that. I've already caused enough damage that I'm not sure I can repair," I sobbed. "Please forgive me. I wish I had given you a chance."

He simply remained still, eyes flickering over my face, gazing, memorizing as I stared at him with tears slowly steaming down my face.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" Maybe in a year, maybe in two... ten years... I wasn't sure when, but I would love to see him again.

"We end here, Isobel. We won't be seeing each other again. I'll make sure of it." When he unexpectedly reached out with his thumb, not to wipe my tears, but to press it on my bottom lip, it felt as though he was searing it with something. Maybe he was saying his goodbye. He did once like to kiss me.

"Hugo," I cried out, needing him to reconsider.

And when I saw something pass his eyes, I thought he'd change his mind. Instead, he merely left a kiss on my forehead, sealing his goodbye.

"Never let your father, or anyone for that matter, dictate your fate again." He made a smile that broke my heart. "Go on, ma belle, follow your heart."

It was his words that made me choke on the ones I wanted to tell him, the truth in his eyes clearly evident. However, what gutted me most was the fact that he'd made sure I was taken care of before leaving me. It was his kindness—even after all I had done to him—that ate me alive. How could he still be so generous when all I'd ever done was be a total bitch to him?

As I stared after the closed door where I'd seen him give me the last glimpse of farewell, I knew there was no way I would ever forget him. He'd dismissed me when I was ready to open up to him again, which had only left me hanging with my thoughts, needs, regrets, and unfulfilled longing that he roused within me. It was buried deep within, but I knew it thrived, waiting to be unleashed.

As farewells went, Hugo Xavier did know how to make an impression, making sure I had been taught a lesson.

A lesson that I'd know inside out soon—that being left behind when things felt unfinished between two people would have its own demons to contend with. Haunting dreams would soon make me question everything I had once believed.

# Book 2 of The Encounter Trilogy

### Unhinged

NOW AVAILABLE

# Synopsis

River Ellis was a whirlwind of an experience when life was monotonously bland, harshly unforgiving and unequivocally foul. He showed me a world that wasn't gray, nor black or white. We were bright and colorful, purely unadorned and raw, stripped of superficial perceptions of life.

He was my childhood friend. My lover. My partner. I loved and worshipped him with entirety, with every pulse. With every bated breath in my body, I was his and he was mine. We burned brighter than the sun, and together, we clashed, fell, and soared. Together, we made the perfect harmony.

Then everything changed the moment he decided to chase his dream. While he became riveted in Hollywood's glittery façade, I found myself alone, whereas he lived his life to the fullest. I became the shadow of his past, dimming in the sunlight that we once orbited and gravitated. Gradually, as time passed, the inevitable happened. Then darkness completely filled my life, cloaking me and embracing me when I became fragile and utterly broken, teaching me the hardest lesson of all.

It's better to have loved with my all and having had the chance to know what it's like to find something so beautiful than endure a lifetime of never knowing it at all.

It made me fathom that such beauty shouldn't be held on to. You shouldn't choke it, stifling it until life drained away. Instead, you had to let go, set it free, and let it ride the waves so other people could experience that one of a kind rapturous, profound mystery as I once had.

Love was blinding and beautiful, but it also was a casualty. And after the tumultuous breakdown I had, I'm earnestly devoted in avoiding it at all cost.

# UNAPOLOGETIC

### Unapologetic Series

**Book One**

# Unapologetic

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**Digital Edition**

**This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.**

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**All rights reserved.**

**Copyright © 2017 by Pamela Ann**
**To my sister,**

**Thank you.**

# FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Your first love isn't always the first person you kiss,

or the first person you date.

Your first love is the person you will always compare everyone to.

The person that you will never truly get over, even when you've convinced yourself you've moved on.

* * *

Unknown

# Prologue

### Ten years ago...

Being unwanted was a sufferance I was familiar with. It hounded me from the moment I was born and every waking moment since. No one really wanted me—not even my parents. My mother was so aghast that she took her own life—dying was much more a comfort than taking care of the baby she bore.

As a child, I learned how to mask my emotions. Though shattered and broken inside, the mask I wore protected me from inquisitive eyes, especially from those who lavished on inflicting pain. Even though I was only eleven years old, I had learned that showing emotions made people uncomfortable, fickle, and they would use it to their advantage, as a weapon against you. In the end, it was best to stay guarded, grounded, and unmoved from the madness of my environment. It was what I did best, the unperturbed, emotionless Cara Quinn.

"Hello, I'm Mattie, and this is my husband Tony. You'll be living with us from now on."

Hesitant with this new acquaintance, I glanced toward Lisa, the social worker, who gave me a warm encouraging smile.

"Hello," I murmured back as I scrutinized the middle-aged woman. She had a warm smile, as did her husband, but they all had that warm and sunny façade in the beginning, so I was holding my reservation.

This had been the third home I had been transferred to. A place where kids who weren't adopted came to for a last chance of normalcy of what they call "home."

Even at the tender age of eleven, I knew adults couldn't be trusted. The last home proved that. Had it not been for Lisa's prying and poking, the abuse would have continued. It was a horror of a place where the wife turned a blind eye on her husband's rage and sadistic tendencies. She had once reasoned that had I not been in the picture, she would be the one on the firing line. Therefore, it had been better me to get the beating than ruin her delicate face. It had been the main and sole reason she had taken me in—to save herself.

"We prepared lunch for your arrival, sweetheart," Mattie interrupted my thoughts as she took hold of my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze before guiding me toward the living room where she had placed a small feast on the glass coffee table.

I quietly ate my mac and cheese while Lisa and the Shaws discussed me. This was a process I was so accustomed to that I became immune to it. So, while they chatted, I was lost in thought, before a small boy waved at me from out of nowhere, sporting an infectious smile from the across the room. Then he quickly disappeared out in the garden. I assumed the other kids were out playing as well because, coming from the squeals and laughter, they seemed to be having great fun. As the fun grew louder out back, Mattie Shaw encouraged me to step outside and join them while they finished up the paperwork.

The woman seemed so sincere that I was a little shocked to find myself walking toward the garden. The kid I saw earlier spotted me immediately, hastily gunning toward where I rigidly stood, awkward and unsure.

"I'm River." He showed perfectly even teeth with a dimple on his left cheek. "Will you be my new playmate?"

I wasn't much of a friendly person, and I liked keeping to myself, but for some odd inexplicable reason, I somehow didn't want to disappoint and ignore him.

"I don't play well with other kids."

It had happened after I had gotten bullied and blamed for all the other kids' faults. Somehow, the adults never believed me when I reasoned that I didn't cause broken furniture, setting the playhouse on fire, or stealing money from their wallets. I had done none of those, yet I had gotten all the blame. River looked like he would be the same type of troublesome kid that would get me moved to another home. You see, kids got very territorial when they felt threatened if the administrator or the foster parents became keen on the new kid.

Two boys and one girl, who were also in the backyard, didn't come over and introduce themselves as River had. Instead, they warily watched me, studying me like a new animal in the kingdom.

Withdrawing from their austere faces, I went back inside without bothering to say good-bye to any of them, including River.

While the adults busied themselves, I politely asked where my new room would be. Lisa had previously informed me that I would be sharing a room with another girl, so that mean-looking kid would be my roommate. Hopefully, she would stay out of my way, because I abhorred drama and the nauseating squeals of pubescent teens.

After a short description of where my room was located, I carried the small duffel bag in my hand that consisted of all of my belongings. Stopping at the opened door, I glanced about the peach colored room. The size was bigger than what I was used to, the ambiance warm and inviting. Mrs. Shaw even had rainbow decals on the walls to make the room bright and welcoming.

I strode toward the opposite side of the room where the plainly laid out lavender colored bed was situated against the wall. The other girl's bed had all sorts of dolls on it. I found myself staring at it, wondering why girls bothered playing with dolls. They were eerie and ordinary. Why waste time on something boring?

Drawing my eyes away from the display of girly stuff, I placed my bag on the bed and began to pull my clothes out. Piece by piece, I hung them while tiptoeing on a chair, when I lost my balance and roughly landed flat on the floor.

I heard River enter the room, yet I was too ashamed to meet his gaze. My eyes watered, but I steeled myself from shedding any tears. It was my first day here, and if they witnessed how weak I was by proving that I was a crybaby, I wouldn't last long.

The thought of moving again made me ill. And for some reason, after witnessing how Mattie and Tony interacted with the other kids, their concern and warmth seemed sincere enough. I wanted to be a part of that, even just for a little while before I was moved again.

Unexpectedly, River sat next to me on the floor then set his little, dirty hand on mine. "I'll hold your hand until you're okay."

For a kid, he was different. I never thought I could be friends with anyone, but it seemed I found one in him.

"Thank you for being so kind to me." Shyly glancing at him, my stomach felt warm when I saw that particular dimple of his when he broke into a smile.

"You're family now, so we always have to look out for each other," he stated softly, like it was something to believe in, something to fight for.

I sat there, gazing around at my new surroundings and, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

# Chapter Twenty-Eight

Tonight had been much more of a success than I had ever anticipated. All the waitressing and odd jobs I had to work, sacrificing ungodly hours just to get by living in this expensive city while chasing my ambition had finally come to fruition.

The night air was crisp, still, and dangerously inviting. It cleared my senses from the stifled surroundings I had been in moments before. Heaving out a breath of relief, I stared at the darkened hills surrounding me as images of my struggles flashed before my very eyes, leaving a yearning for something I had lost. This was my dream come to life. Yet, it didn't feel as good as I had imagined. It should have been sweet, triumphant even, but somehow, it lacked those gratifying aspects.

The stellar reviews for the online streaming show was plentiful, but as much as I wanted the praises, I didn't know how to handle it. Obviously, it wasn't a mammoth success compared to blockbuster films. However, shows with well-thought-out plots and an outstanding cast were being recognized through the recent years more than ever. Not to mention, it was an amazing platform to show one's craft and potential.

I was lucky to have been casted in _Clover_ , surrounded by people with like-minded souls. I couldn't ask for anything more. I was happy, enthralled. Amongst it all, however, I couldn't deny the blatant fact that something was amiss.

Feeling beyond dejected, I considered heading back inside to rejoin the party, when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck spring to life. This meant _one_ thing and one thing only.

He had finally found me. He was here.

We were entwined in almost psychic ways. And God help me, after two years of absence, the pull was just as powerful as I had remembered.

Biting back a disgruntled groan, I remained unmoving, composed and immobile, waiting with bated breath for him to break the charged silence that seemed to choke the life out of me.

"Cara Quinn, I've found you at last. Congrats on the new show, by the way."

Ah, Satan had definitively arrived.

I had often wondered how long it would take him to seek me out once those promotional billboards were plastered all over Sunset Boulevard. It didn't surprise me that he had shown up for the show's party. This was, after all, his oyster, and I had just stepped into it. His glittering jungle of beauty, vanity, and narcissism.

River Ellis was Hollywood's newly minted favorite bachelor. Dangerously handsome with his dark looks, equipped with a chiseled body and a stellar ability to act with profound complexity. Not to mention, he could sing in a deep, throaty voice that went straight into one's soul. He was the ultimate package, so it wasn't a shock that he had made it in this industry without breaking a stride.

His supporting role in a major production film was his huge breakout into the star he was today. He simply had it in him. He was born for this acting lifestyle; whereas I, it had to be thoroughly developed through drama classes. And of course, with the help of Mrs. Newell.

Nevertheless, he was just River to me. The man I grew up with in a group home, the one who had protected me when I was bullied, the one who I had loved with my entirety yet had let me down in all ways possible. And he was one of the reasons I came here... just so I could prove my worth, to him and to myself.

Pressing my lips together, I spun to face the man I had loved with no rhyme nor reason once upon a time. River Ellis still looked gorgeously lethal, but I knew better.

Instead of the usual heart palpitation and breathlessness I was so accustomed to whenever we were together, this time around, I felt nothing. My heart didn't jump for joy. It was cold, cold as ice, though I could swear that, if he kept roving those hawk eyes all over me, I would thaw out.

"Why bother coming here at all? If you're here to taunt or mock me, I'm not in the mood." I wanted to easily dismiss him so he could leave me be. Knowing how the man functioned, though, he wasn't going away just because I shooed him off. No, this man was as stubborn as they came. Just like Satan, he was sinful, just as deceiving, and ruthless to the core.

Through the blanket of darkness, I could see his eyes peruse me, studying me with blistering intensity, like I was some unique specimen. My daring black cutout dress made me feel naked when those laser-like eyes roamed over my body.

"They did say success sometimes makes people bitchy. Don't let it get to your head, Cara. You're better than that."

His distasteful retort didn't rile me up. It left me more guarded.

"Thanks for the lecture, but I must get back inside," I said while giving him a death glare. "Enjoy the party."

River's dark eyes sought me out. I could feel his anger vibrating against the energy between us. It was charged, as suffocating as it was threatening. "I came back for you, Cara, but you were gone," he hissed out between clenched teeth. "You up and left without warning."

_Why?_ I wanted to interrupt, but I didn't bother. Whatever for? Why make the effort? After he had strung me along for a future that had never happened, I saw no point harping on the past. Life was less complicated without him in it. And I wanted it to stay that way. If he had any designs in keeping me in his life while he pranced around tinsel town, hopping from one bed to the next, he could think again. I had no desire in being part of his long list of harem.

"You've congratulated me, and I thank you for that, but honestly, River, I have nothing else to say to you. Goodnight." I gestured for him to step aside, meaning to walk away from him, but he hastily grasped my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"You can dismiss me all you like, but you can't run from me forever. I've found you after almost two years without hearing from you, Cara. Don't be stupid to think that I'm easily going to let you go. No. Not this time. Never again."

I wasn't his property. I could do as I pleased. Those days were long gone. He had me, and what had he done? He royally messed it up like any playboy would. Idiot me had eaten up whatever promises he had thrown my way. That naive girl had long since died, along with our wretched memories.

Recalling how he had mistreated me stung to no end. For some time, I had been relieved to have escaped them—him. Now it seemed that it was time to face the tune of my past.

Scrutinizing him with pure and unreserved disdain, I stood my ground and found strength to fight fire with fire. "Not let me go, River?" I questioned with disbelief. "I'm with Parker now. I've replaced you, just as you thoughtlessly did me."

His grip on my arm tightened, clearly stung by my words. "No matter what you think and believe, I've never forgotten you, Cara. Not for a moment... Not by any means."

If his purpose was to disarm me, he had better try again.

"It's much too late for any of that."

Once upon a time, hearing him utter those words would have made me run back to him in a heartbeat, but a lot of time had passed. Now, I could honestly admit that I was immune to his empty promises. That was all he could ever offer me, nothing more.

"I need to get back inside. Parker will be looking for me soon."

He looked perplexed as he held his breath, staring down at my determined face. He was so close I could feel the warmth from his body, slowly breaking down my barriers. His sex appeal was unparalleled. He radiated potent sex, and as much as I hated to confess it, he still affected me. Undoubtedly, he was still the sexiest man I had ever gazed upon. At that slight admission, an unwelcomed tremor zinged all over my body. _Ugh, not now_. Damn hormones.

"Meet me sometime later, just this once... to talk. Nothing more, I promise." His voice was low and steady, while his body was in complete restraint, trying to hold back from something. It reminded me of a caged animal; ready to pounce.

"And why would I be so stupid as to do that?" _Talk? He meant closure, right?_ Surely, I could handle finally closing the lid on my past? But I wasn't too sure, not when he could demand my body's attention by simply gazing at me.

"Because we owe it to each other, and to the seven years of _love_ and friendship we shared," he stated resolutely, with an acute emphasis on the word "love," as though I were too dense not to comprehend.

Oh yeah, love. He spoke so freely of the word that I thought he knew what it entailed. Apparently not.

River was going to dredge up everything—the good, the bad, and the downright rotten. I sensed it. I knew him enough to know that he wouldn't hold anything back.

_What would he try to prove?_ I worriedly wondered. He had been the one to leave the relationship. Although he wouldn't fully admit it, he had mentally checked out the moment he selfishly began choosing decisions that affected the both of us. Ones that had left me in tatters, emotionally unstable and physically insecure. I'd had no one—no parents, no family to speak of—so for him to stab at the very core of my instability made me realize that being his side piece wasn't going to cut it. I'd had to save myself, and that was what I did. And now that I had accomplished it, here he was, marching back into my domain and threatening to ruin the fine threads that held me together.

River never did like rejection, and I could bet my life that this weighed heavily on his ego.

Though he was being emotionally manipulative, if this would get him to leave me alone, then I would meet with him. One must face and slay their demons at some point in their life. This was my chance. Besides, deep down, I knew I had prepared myself for this very moment.

I comforted myself that I was truly done with him. As long as I kept that in mind, I was safe from River Ellis's selfish grasp. Top it off with the fact that Parker and I had just begun dating, I didn't need the ghost of my past ruining anything with my new budding relationship. Knowing how River was, it would be wise to settle scores with him now than let this fester to a point where it would be difficult for me to read him. There were shades of his anger I was familiar with, and right this instant, I could see that as long as I held my ground, his intentions, good or bad, were going nowhere.

"Fine then. Where do you want to meet?"

"Give me your number; I'll text it to you."

The last thing I needed was for him to get ahold of my number, yet I begrudgingly gave him each digit at a time as he keyed in my information with furrowed brows.

"It's in the valley. It's about half an hour drive from here. Take a cab or even Uber, but don't you dare get behind the wheel. You're beyond the legal alcohol limit."

My breath gave it away, though I wasn't even drunk. I was so sober I could count backward. Regardless, I wasn't going to argue. My nerves wouldn't dare allow me to drive. Calm was my exterior, but internally, I was all sorts of chaos deep inside.

Disconnecting from his penetrating, dark eyes, I glanced around at the throng of people happily chatting away, unaware of my discomfort.

Just as I was about to revert my gaze back to the unyielding man next to me, Parker came out, eyes scanning the outside crowd on the patio. The second he found me in an intimate conversation with River, his face contorted in blatant confusion.

I smiled nervously at my curious and impatient boyfriend, hoping to ease some of the tension written all over him before I gestured that I would join him in a moment. Then, reverting my attention back to the man next to me, I gave him an impertinent look.

"I'll be there at half past midnight or so."

River's eyes were glued on where Parker stood, looking deadly. "Come alone, Cara," he vehemently gritted out. "And don't keep me waiting."

Calling the shots now, was he? I would arrive on my own terms. I wasn't going to do his bidding. Never again.

"I have to go," I reiterated before giving him a last deadpan look. "I'll arrive whenever I fancy. No one tells me what to do." And with those parting words, I sashayed away from him and back into Parker's arms.

# Chapter Twenty-Nine

Parker and I didn't leave the party until midnight. And just as anticipated, he was curious as to why River Ellis sought me. I quickly told him that I previously met his acquaintance, but Parker wasn't easily convinced. And the more he pressured me about the subject, the more reluctant I was in divulging. He felt threatened, maybe jealous even, and I understood his feelings. He had every right to it. Nevertheless, the right time to address it wasn't now. Firstly, I had to close this chapter before making things more serious with Parker.

He and I had barely begun dating a month ago. I admit I was still getting accustomed to dating again. Pressuring me wouldn't do him any favors. Call it defensive mechanism, but I wasn't going to immediately open up when he and I were still in the process of getting to know one another. My barriers were tightly secured, and my guard was almost impenetrable. If he wanted to be with me, Parker needed to understand that it would take time for me to come around. Hopefully, he was patient enough to wait for me.

He wasn't the first man I had dated after River, but apart from the rest of the lot, Parker actually was the closest man whom I felt I could have a real relationship with. So, I obviously wouldn't want to lose him, _but_ I wasn't ready to reveal myself and the gargantuan baggage that followed me around, either.

It took every ounce of persuasion to have Parker not join me inside my apartment when he dropped me off. His persistence to take it to the next level had been more apparent lately. Rushing into physical intimacy wasn't something I planned. However, I believe that once tonight was through, I would be more pliable to the idea.

Ridding my life of River wouldn't be a hardship. We needed closure; that was all. His dating life was colorful like a kaleidoscope. He had all the ripe pickings to whomever he fancied, and I doubted he had any inclination in making that bright, sparkly life dulled by rekindling things with me. Therefore, I had nothing to worry about on that front... Or so I reassured myself with.

Pressed for time, I hadn't bothered changing when I requested for a ride to pick me up. Enclosed in my scarcely decorated one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica, I stood in the middle of the living room, terrified out of my wits. My heart ached as I tried to squash the memories that endangered to overrule my senses.

"No," I angrily hissed out. "No tears, damn you."

Letting out a sigh, I took a moment to gain my composure, reassuring myself with the truth—that this man had his multiple-layered array of cakes and he ate it with gusto, without a thought of repercussions or what his actions would eventually do to me. The only thing I could do was think positive thoughts. Once tonight was over, River would have no right to hound my conscience any longer.

"I, alone, can set the path to my future and my own happiness. River can't take that away from me, too."

On a mission to calm my nerves, I went into the kitchen and made myself a whiskey sour; reinforcements to amp my courage were always welcomed. The strong, sweet and sour drink would encourage my disheartened circumstance.

The Uber driver dropped me off at the location River had texted me. After murmuring my thanks to the kind driver, I paused, catching my breath, as I stood outside the pavement, exhilarated and unsure of what to do next.

His home was in a secluded and quiet neighborhood, a complete distinction from life in the city where everything and anything was correlated to tinsel town. It made me wonder why he chose to live away from it all. I supposed the Spanish villa with its abundant rows of vibrant hydrangeas would entice anyone to live here. It stung to realize that he chose my favorite flowers to adorn his beautiful home.

"Bastard," I muttered under my breath while my eyes heated at the very sight of them. If there was any doubt, rest assured, I loathed every ounce of the man.

For so long, I had rehearsed this scenario in my mind, but it never quite played out this way—with me seeking him out on his own turf. My hands became clammy as my thoughts procured each god-awful scenario in my head. Tough he might be, but he had never laid a finger on me, not to hurt me.

I recalled those dark, penetrating eyes flaying my soul, accusing. He would demand answers, and give them, I shall... even if rehashing the past threatened to undo the very fine stitching I had sewn in my once fragile, shattered heart.

Treading onto the massively flattened stone pathway leading toward the entrance to his home, I then hastily pressed the doorbell before I convinced myself to walk away and wish him hell-bound.

"Cara," he breathlessly greeted upon opening the door.

Dressed in black drawstring linen pants and the same colored muscle shirt, he was perfectly equipped for a fun night of torture. His hair was wet, freshly out of shower, smelling clean, overpowering my senses with his scented skin, seizing my inhibitions for a moment. It was the very same cologne I had gifted him when he had turned sixteen. He hadn't worn anything else since, apparently. Or maybe he was using every weapon at his disposal, I spitefully considered. After all, lust was a powerful tool to make one at an advantage. And the asshat knew what to use against me. Well, he could think again. His sexual prowess be damned.

It was a brilliant idea that I didn't change into something drab and remained in the same garment I had donned earlier. The tiny black dress perfectly matched his shameless intent. I knew him well enough to know that he intended to seduce me; play me for a lovesick fool. No more.

He hadn't changed; still beyond predictable. While I, on the other hand, _this_ new Cara, would give him a run for his money. If I played my cards right, I could very well walk out of here unscathed.

"Come on in." He gestured, stepping aside to let me in, probing eyes trained on me.

Not meeting his inquisitive gaze, I held my breath, bracing myself as I crossed the threshold.

Upon closing the door behind me, his blatant gawking became too much to bear.

"Stop staring at me like that!" I fumed, striking him with a venomous glare. I could very well slap him, but I didn't want him to realize that he was breaking through to me. He was already unbearable, and we had just begun. What the hell!

"I haven't seen you in years; what do you expect me to do, Cara? Kiss you, perhaps?" River asked as he tauntingly arched his brow at me. Before I could quip a retort, he broke into a smile. "It's good to know that you're still all fire, petal. I've always admired that about you."

_Petal_. The cheek!

"Don't you dare call me that! I'm not your petal. I'm not your anything. Not for a long time. And never again."

Insulted, River took a few steps and stood at full-height, forbidding, domineering with his trained eyes on me like a hawk to its prey. "You're going to make this hard, aren't you? You know just how I like it, Cara." He was measuring how far he could goad me, but I wasn't going to cave to his wretched tactics.

His words lingered, making me shudder at the thought of him taking me, right here, up against the wall, as he gripped my hips to meet his eager thrusts. It was how he took me the last time I saw him, silencing my tears with his kisses and believing that sex would cure the hollowness in my heart. It was a monumental moment because it was then that I had realized that sex wasn't enough anymore. It was, when I had quietly said my good-bye, unbeknownst to him.

"You tremble. I haven't even begun," he murmured, eyes longingly dropping to my lips, lingering, contemplating.

I could feel the heat permeating from him. It was pulling me, pulling us like a magnet.

"These lips kissed another man tonight. Something broke inside me when I saw that." There was undeniable sadness in his tone. "Did you know that the broken shards of a heart could still shatter even more into a tiny million pieces? Mine did after watching you with him. It drove me insane. I didn't know jealousy until I saw you with another man."

There was such conviction in his tone that I almost believed him. _Almost._

How long was he there spying on me before he finally made himself known?

"You pretend like you've been living a life of a saint. It took you a week after seeing me that last time to resume seeing Hailey Mavis again, and yet you speak of heartbreak? Don't think me a fool, River. Give me some credit. I was in love, not stupid." _Was there a difference?_ My stupid mind retorted. I doubted it.

"It was all contracted, just a pretend, as I have elaborated and explained to you before. Nothing happened with her. Well, not back then, anyway," he reasoned with the same lies he had fed me until I couldn't take it and vomited all of his deceit.

Contracted, probably. But there was something more. I knew it. My gut sensed it, and it had never failed me before. Something had been developing between them, and even if it weren't physical, I knew enough that he had some sort of attachment to her. My instincts hadn't been very far off, and in the end, he had proved me right.

"I'm sure it didn't take you long to remedy that problem." A lump of bile rose in the back of my throat. The thought of them together, to this day, still made me sick to my stomach. "My heart was never in question. It remained with you. It _remains_ with you," he vehemently swore. "Nothing's changed for me, Cara."

_No._ I indignantly shook my head in repulsion. He was just saying the right things so he could trap me back into his mangled ugly web of lies.

All my life, people had let me down time and time again. It was a mistake to trust him and believe he was any different from the people who had abandoned and left me because I wasn't good enough to be loved. My mother took her own life because she couldn't stand the sight of me. My father had up and left the country when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. My relatives thought I was an inconvenience, so they had handed me over to social services without a second thought.

It took me forever to give my heart to him, and in the end, what did he do? He proved that he was just like them—rotten to the core.

Hiding my damaged heart and the painful echoes from a lifetime of neglect that I had harbored ever since childhood, I blankly stared at the man whom I once thought the world of. "Do you honestly think that'll change things, River?" I hatefully spat at him. Fully ensconced in loathing and wrath, I longed to hurt him further, but violence would simply worsen things. "I've moved on. I'm over your brooding, self-centered playboy persona. Above all, you taught me that there are far better options out there."

A guttural sound vibrated off him. "Oh, so Parker Haynes is better than me, is that it?" He began to move, slowly circling me, commanding, menacing. "How long have you even known this guy? A few weeks? Months? We both know, Cara, that no man can love you the way I do."

Arrogant, overbearing fucker. I wasn't going to buy into his intimidating tactics.

Halting his tracks, we stood side by side, a breadth away from touching. I could feel his hot breath teasing the skin on my neck, but I determinedly gazed ahead, eyes penetrating, seeing nothing but him.

"Does he even know you're with me?" His low voice was measured, almost seductive.

Did he really think he had some importance in my life? Just because he had reached stardom, I was far from star struck. On the contrary, his name hadn't crossed my lips again until tonight.

"Why should he know about you, River? As far as everyone I know is concerned, you're nothing but a stranger to me." And that was how he should remain. A phantom from my past.

My response made him ground his teeth, trying his damnedest to contain his fury. "Is that what I am to you now, Cara?" He leaned closer, taking a whiff of my scent and making me hyperaware of his proximity. "A stranger?"

_You were my world... but I died the moment you betrayed me._ "It doesn't matter." I had mourned him as though he truly had died. For a year, I struggled to get it together. And the moment I did, I made a vow never to look back. Tonight was an exception, yet it wasn't an excuse to let him lull me into stupidity.

Firmly cupping my chin, he made me look at him. The second our eyes clashed, I immediately felt bereft, beyond troubled when I saw the evident pain that was unguardedly expressed in his dark, mesmerizing eyes.

"It matters to me. It matters a whole lot."

Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I licked my lips as tremors ran over me. "What do you want from me, River?"

Searching my depths, his lips parted while his eyes flickered back and forth, probing for some certainty, inching closer to me, to my heart. "You. Just you, again and again until my last breath."

I was immediately transported to a time when those words of promise whispered out of my own lips before I gave myself to him for the first time at the age of seventeen.

Numb from the immense wave of sadness, I felt the back of my eyes begin to sting, threatening to form tears. "We're done. We've been done. Let's end this amicably. Stop bringing up the old times; it's all in the past."

His hold of my chin tightened, face inching closer until his nose almost grazed mine. "Is it," he softly spoke against my lips slightly, brushing it with his, "ever really over?"

If River dared kiss me, my knees would harshly meet his golden twin nuggets. I would injure it until he was black and blue.

"Yes, it's really fucking over, in case the part where I shut you out of my life for the past two years wasn't clear enough for you, River. Spare me the nostalgia. I find it nauseating. Stop being hell-bent on trying something with me because it's OVER. Nothing you say or do will ever change it. I need you to quit it because I came here for closure and to have the good-bye that we never had. You just have to stop—"

"I'm still in love with you; is that so hard understand?" he violently declared, eyes sparking fire, charging the air between us with tension that was almost suffocating. "I love you, Cara," he stated again. And again.

I sort of laughed at his face with a bubbling hysteria threatening to break free. "That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard." Scoffing, I peered at him in disbelief. "You fucked your way around when you left. How can you claim to love me when you've bed hopped from bimbos to bombshells?" Though I had cut him out of my life, a sickening, sadistic side of me managed to follow every woman he had dated and been linked to since.

"You broke up with me. _You left_ without a word, without even a warning. I was devastated when you walked away. I didn't see it coming... The women who came after that, I guess, was my way of coping."

He had the gall. What a poor excuse for whoring around. If he had ever loved me as much as he claimed, he would have figured out a way to fight for me. Instead, he chose to console his penis.

"I'm sure it was," I bitterly derided.

"Admit it, Cara; isn't that exactly the same thing with what you're doing with Parker Haynes?" he chided, like we were now even.

I wanted to gouge his eyes out.

"How dare you! Parker's not like you. I made sure of that before giving in to him."

"From what I gathered, your relationship has barely started. And basing from what I know of you in the past, it'll take another year for you to give in, Cara... Or am I mistaken on that perception, too?"

This was an opportunity for me to prove just how much I wanted him to continue on the path he has been on for months on end, without me in it. "I am _with_ him. And no, Parker didn't need to wait a year to have me, because he's everything that I've ever wanted." It was a harmless white lie. River didn't have to know every aspect of my relationship with Parker. It was none of his business.

River thought otherwise.

Horror, agony, mixed with disbelief crossed his befallen face. He looked as though I had physically injured him. And when my gaze fell, I saw his hand shake. I wasn't sure if that was from anger or shock, but in all the years I had known him, I hadn't seen him this shaken.

"Had you not run away, we'd be married today. We said two years, remember?" A faint smile formed on his lips before he bore those saddened eyes on me again. His eyes misted as he longingly searched my face. "All those promises... The vow you gave to me..." he whispered. "I have to hear it, Cara. I have to see it come out of your lips. You have to tell me you don't love me anymore."

That was supposed to be today? What luck. With steel determination, I spoke the words he demanded of me. "I'm not in love with you, River."

Our eyes met. Green meeting his dark, impenetrable depths. Time stood still, absorbing each other, eyes mating, challenging.

"I don't believe you," he stated with certainty.

Sooner or later, he would realize that I meant each word.

"I wouldn't have moved on if I did. You know me better than anyone." There was no one in this world who knew me inside and out.

"We were best friends before we became lovers. Or is our friendship unsalvageable as well?"

His question took me aback.

"Friendship?" Aghast, I wasn't sure if he was serious. "Why would you want that?"

"Because you're the only family I have."

We had once promised that we would always have each other. No matter what happened in the future, we were each other's emergency person. I understood that our attachment had run deep, but for him to ask such a question after the tumultuous relationship we had, I wasn't sure how to respond. Obviously, I hadn't expected this.

"When you're ready, I guess. I don't want to pressure you right now."

He wanted to be friends? That entailed letting him in my life again. Too much had happened. The water was well under the bridge for me, but not for him.

"I'm sorry for everything, Cara. I never meant to hurt you while seeking out my dream. Someday, I hope you can forgive me." River took a step back. "I'm sorry, but I need a moment."

Dumbstruck, I barely nodded while watching him walk away in a mad rush. Where did he go? Should I take my leave since our conversation wasn't going anywhere?

Amidst contemplation, my curiosity got the best of me. There was no denying that this was out of my depth. He offered to salvage our friendship, but how did one rebuild that? It was like a coin; there were two sides, but it remained one. He was suggesting the impossible, yet for some reason, I wasn't obliged to take my leave and walk away just yet.

The only source of light came from somewhere down the hallway. However, I'd had enough illumination to grasp my surroundings. His house had all the makings of warmth and security a true home should have. Earth tones, a lot of wood adorned with just the right balance of masculinity without overpowering it.

The heel of my stilettos echoed in my wake as I trailed farther into his home. From the living room, the doors opened toward the gardens. It was vast with the mountains in the back looming in the dark. To the left, there was a veranda with a fire pit blazing brightly. There he stood, deep in thought, staring blankly into its flames with a lit cigarette between finger and thumb.

So, he smoked these days. Huh. What else was new with him?

Watching his dark form, I felt myself mesmerized, enthralled at this beautiful man with the growing stubble shadowing his chiseled jaw. From this vantage, he looked dangerous, and God help me, he was sexier than any man had the right to be.

Tight coils sprung from my abdomen, evident stirrings of arousal. In this regard, my attraction to him remained, unfailing and gravely more potent than I had ever felt before.

Compelled, I slowly made my way toward him, unable to tear my eyes away from the sight of him.

"I didn't think you lived this far out... knowing how busy you are these days."

River quickly glanced at me before looking back into the distance. "I have a place in Beverly Hills, but this is home; my quiet getaway from the craziness."

"You have a beautiful home. You've really made it happen." Embroiled with the past, a small shadow of a smile crossed my lips. Yes, I couldn't forgive him, but I couldn't deny how proud I was of him, either. He achieved much in the span of a few years.

"It was my first purchase after getting that first big paycheck."

"You worked hard. You deserve to have it all," I found myself saying before our gazes met and time stood still. My heart found its beat, slowly thrumming with life.

"Does he treat you well?" he murmured, breaking the momentary spell we were trapped in.

Dazed, I frowned. He was asking about Parker, wasn't he?

I couldn't do this. I should go and call it a night.

Licking my lips, I tightly held my red leather clutch. "It's getting late, I guess I'll see you around, River Ellis."

His eyes bore into mine, challenging me, though I wasn't sure with what.

I'd had enough.

I turned my back on him, withdrawing as I retraced my steps through the house. Pulling my phone out, I sought the app to request a ride back to my place in Santa Monica. Once finished, I slid it back inside my clutch.

Taking a deep nervous breath, I found myself in his kitchen. Then something struck me.

I froze while all air left my body. Horrified, I was paralyzed as my eyes scanned the area, landing on framed pictures of me, _of us_ , placed in random nooks around the kitchen. Had he just planted this? If he had, what a heartless, cruel thing to do. What was he playing at?

Just as I was about to rush outside to demand answers, I felt his presence behind me.

"Why!" I accusingly yelled at his face.

"This house was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was supposed to be our home, but you had already left. Mattie said she didn't know where you went. Of course I didn't believe her. Mattie was the closest thing we had to a parent, and you were close to her. She wouldn't tell me where you'd gone. I would've come for you had I known where you were. For days, weeks, I waited to hear... but nothing. You left me with nothing."

"I didn't want to be found." And I wanted to resurface once my sanity was restored, my heart glued back from the broken pieces.

In a few strides, he closed the gap between us. "We often argued and fought, but never in a million years did I consider cutting you off like that, Cara," he growled with animalistic look, seeming to restrain himself from wanting to shake me senseless. "Why did you do it?"

"Because I couldn't take how you were treating me, like some second-class doormat, a _secret doormat_ at that. That's why!" I spat back, matching his furor. "After the first movie, _The Viking Mercenary_ , became this monster success and you became this huge actor... the gossip and the need to hide our relationship because your management forbid you to make it known, I just couldn't deal with it. The jealousy ate me. Week after week, I would read up online, where you went, what you did, who you did it with. The truth and the lies, they all became my real."

"But I told you none of them were true! You knew how much I fucking loved you. God, I was going to marry you, Cara. How could you be so cutthroat and heartless to someone you pledged your heart to?"

Because it was the only weapon I had, and if I didn't use it, he would have found a way to leave me sooner or later to the glamorous women surrounding him.

"I'm sorry for leaving. Quite honestly, I didn't think it would affect you that much."

At that point, after he had missed my birthday and called to greet me a day after, I knew it was only a matter of time before he would have dispensed of me. I did us both a favor by doing it.

"You didn't think? It's very selfish of you to believe that I didn't care. You knew how hard it'll be, and you promised you'd stick by me through thick and thin, remember?"

As much as I hated showing weakness, my eyes started to water as I struggled to answer him. It took a minute or so until I snapped out of my poignant trance before I opened my clutch and pulled out the promise ring he had given me before he had left to chase his dream. My heart ached at the very sight of it. I had almost forgotten about it..

"I also came here to give this back."

River sneered, appearing offended, disgust sparkling in his eyes. "It seems you don't want anything to do with me. Why don't you just throw it away? You're pretty good at that."

Why was he so reluctant to just let it go? So much had happened, and hurling insults would only make things more difficult between us.

"What did I ever do to you to hurt me this way, Cara?" His voice cracked amidst all his anger, his pain emerging. For a moment, it gave me a glimpse of him, heartbroken and lost, without an answer after I had disappeared.

He was breaking me down, directing questions as though he had some glimmer of hope that something could be recovered between us. What little hope he had garnered, I would effectively banish.

"River..." _I'm sorry._ I had to choose me this time. No man would ever put me on my knees again like some desperate beggar dying for some of his crumbs.

He sensed my reluctance. Gradually advancing toward me, he halted his steps before cupping my face with his large, roughened hands. "I'll forgive and forget everything if you come back to me right now, Cara. We have everything we've ever wanted. We've accomplished so much. We're older now and wiser. We can start over again. It'll be better this time around. I can afford whatever your heart desires. You don't even have to work if you don't want to. Just say the word, and I'm yours."

Words were easy to say. Actions, on another hand, were another thing. Time had proven that he wasn't one to always keep his promises, and as much as I loved him once, I wasn't about to put myself on a platter again. Why would I put myself through that again? He should have protected what we had in the beginning. This wouldn't have happened otherwise. There was so much at stake this time, and I couldn't gamble on that, even if he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

He had too much power over me. It was terrifying to even consider submitting to those powerfully unparalleled emotions again. Without him, I was in control of my life, my destiny. Gone was the shattered, defenseless girl. I was a woman made of sterner stuff, one who couldn't be easily dissuaded with empty promises any longer.

"I can't do that, River," I stated, unwavering. "You've lost me forever."

He was horrified, dazed, and flummoxed all at once. Bereft and rendered speechless, our gazes battled, torn between love, hate, and agony. And just when I thought we had finally reached the point of no return, the damning man dipped his head to meet my lips, kissing me senseless. Urgently. Lasciviously.

I was a riot of emotions, completely taken aback by his hungered lips. My thoughts were simultaneously a jumble and as serene as a placid river.

His carnal intentions left me shaken. So much so that I found myself responding. It was like my lips belonged to him, to command and savor. I had forgotten how it felt to be with him, to be in his arms, to be at his mercy. _Him_. Just River.

My nails dug into his chest through his shirt, feeling unbidden and out of my depth. Fevered for his touch, I felt a rush of intoxicated yearning, quite unhinged, like a myriad made by his touch. His masculine scent and the very feel of him possessed me—my very soul. River was my home sweet hell, and it seemed he was capable of placing me where he deemed I belonged, with him, beautifully creating the fires of sins that only he and I could compose. A gluttony we never knew how to relinquish nor diminish. Fire and ice, clashing and mending. A cacophony of our own written symphony.

# Chapter Thirty

I felt like I was being transported back to the days when my body and mind weren't mine to command. Like a string being pulled at whatever direction he so desired. I was his as River took full control, devouring my lips, my body.

The spell was too potent to dispel its influence on me. The moment those masculine hands travelled about my body, feeling and cupping my breasts as he lodged one of his thighs between my legs, I knew whatever convictions I had, had all but disappeared.

Consumed by unrivaled hunger, carnal passion took precedence, and I was at his mercy. Unequivocally.

"I forgot what your touch feels like. You feel fucking amazing," I sighed, out of my mind as I gasped for air, breaking our kiss while his lips trailed down my neck, leaving specks of fiery need, branding my skin as he went further down into my nether region.

"It'll be my pleasure to remind you, Cara." He spoke just above my parted thighs before breathing me in with a guttural sound that almost unhinged me.

Before I could make another sound, he softly bit the soft spot atop my moistened pussy.

_What was he waiting for?_ I frustratingly thought as I gazed down with such fevered need it frightened me.

"River?" I blinked at him.

He slowly got to his full height, expressive eyes meeting my own. "If I take you, you'll be mine again," he said softly before leaving a chaste kiss on my lips. "Just say the word. I need to hear you say it, my love."

Sucker punched. That's what it felt like. River just brought me down to earth in the harshest way possible. How could I let myself down so humiliatingly?

Closing my eyes, big, hot tears sprung behind my lids. It was a moment of madness; what else could one call it? To be sure, it was lust. Nothing more. Dressing it for love would be a mistake, and I surely wasn't going to do that.

"I can't. I won't." That kiss meant nothing. Nothing at all.

"I figured as much. Although, it was worth a shot. I hope you can forgive me for trying," he said through a saddened smile that seemed to tear into the very core of my being.

It was the opposite of what I had expected of him. I hadn't imagined he would beg or anything, but for him to not fight harder wasn't want I had anticipated.

Distracted, he stepped back and scanned the room. "Let's get you home, shall we?" he asked.

Nodding in response, I meekly gazed at him through my lashes. My mind seemed hell-bent on making a statement, yet my body yearned for his touch, and the memory of how he took my body made me throb and ache for more. Alas, the man had withdrawn from my reach.

Once he retrieved his keys, he barely glanced at me as he silently guided me toward his garage. He had a black, matted-out Range with matching all-black interiors, perfectly matching the owner's mood, no less.

"Where's your place?" he asked after the engine roared to life. His eyes were directed on the dashboard as though he would rather not look at me.

"It's on Santa Monica and 6th Street," I murmured back as I bit into my lip, unsure if I should break the icy barrier he had erected.

His somewhat of a dismissal made me feel at odds. However, I understood his reluctance in wanting to connect, even if it was through a mere gaze. At this moment, it might be all too much. And even though he was at war with himself, I appreciated the fact that he was gentlemanly enough to drive me home. This side of River was one of the things that had made me fall for him. He was as protective as he was encouraging.

While he drove, Ed Sheeran's calming voice softly crooned in the background. Confined in such a space, tension crackled between us. There was so much to be said, yet silence seemed fitting. My mind was in turmoil, as was my body. My mind, more pointedly, reprimanded my prior actions.

It was a relief when we exited the freeway and River reached my home in no time. Without another word, he found a parking spot before killing the engine.

In the midst of contemplation, I was just about to open my mouth to thank him for taking me home when I found him unbuckling his seatbelt.

Wait. Where was he going?

Panicked, I stared at him in confusion. "Uh, where do you think you're going?" _He can't be thinking it,_ I inwardly bemoaned.

In the dark, his lethal eyes dismissed any thought process I had. "I'm coming with you. I know what you're going to say, but a lot happened tonight and all I ask is for you to spare me the worry. I just need to make sure you're safe inside your home; that's all. I promise, okay?"

Was it ever really that simple? Hardly, but I was running out of energy to keep arguing.

Disconnecting from his gaze, I let out an audible sigh and said, "Okay."

Emotionally fatigued, we quietly got out his Range and began to awkwardly stride next to each other toward the complex entrance. My apartment was only a few blocks from the beach and the pier. This was my home, my haven, and it troubled me that River was going to step into my territory. From here on, I would have a memory of him here, walking me home.

I knew I had seconds until I have to breach the subject of good-bye. The finality of the word made it all the more daunting.

Awkwardly stealing a glance at his face, he seemed as troubled as I was with his lips pressed together, as though he was holding himself back from saying something. Those lips... had devoured me, my soul, and took every ounce of sanity I had. Had he not pulled back, he would have had me writhing underneath him with no thought of the consequences.

I was too enthralled at the taste of him and the feel of his strength and his powerful body working its magic on me. Thank goodness some divine intervention had saved me from any more embarrassment.

Crestfallen, I spun around to face him the moment we reached my door. The soft glow of the hallway lights made his chiseled features seem softer yet more lethal to my senses. One look of that feral gaze he just gave me made me quiver inside. How could he still have so much power over me?

Letting my eyes drop to study the strong muscles of his neck, I unknowingly began to lick my lips, parched for reasons I dared not openly admit. "River, listen—"

"I'm leaving for Ireland tomorrow to shoot the final film of TVM." He grazed my cheek with his thumb, seeming to test my reaction at the feel of his touch. Our eyes met, and I couldn't feel or see anything. Only him and those feral, stormy eyes that never failed to draw me in. "Do you mind if I text you from time to time?"

Text. He didn't outright say call, which meant he was treading lightly, knowing well enough that I would immediately reject it. I wasn't sure if I should be comforted by that thought.

"If you want to, I guess." Texting was harmless, though it was his grand gesture of wanting to keep in touch because I wouldn't give him anything more.

A soft smile broke from his lips. I was so absorbed by it that I didn't notice he had reached out to hold my hand. I simply stood there like a breathless idiot before he bent over to softly kiss my knuckle, his lips sweetly caressing my skin. When he finished, he didn't release my hand. He took a moment to gaze upon my face, looking at me as though it would break him if he dared to stop. When I thought it would never end, he granted me with a wounded smile and murmured, "Sleep well, my petal."

Blanketed with darkness, I blushed from head to foot. That pet name represented how much he had once loved me. And as much as I wanted him to stop using it, I had no fight left in me tonight.

"Safe travels to you and take care."

He responded with a curt nod before he retreated, leaving me staring back at him, walking away while I remained in my frozen position, wondering if I achieved what I aimed to gain by meeting him tonight.

All I knew was that River Ellis had somehow managed to remind me that I still had a heart—a beating one at that.

# Chapter Thirty-One

Sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned, grunting and groaning in frustration while I loudly cursed myself as my mind raced, recalling the events at River's home. More importantly, the simple gold ring that bore his name was dropped somewhere in the kitchen after he had kissed me.

"God that kiss... FUCK!" I screeched into the darkness, wondering if I would ever recover from it.

River knew how to touch me. Could any man ever compare to that? Even Parker's didn't come close, nor other men I had tried to date after River. No one had the ability to suspend me from reality, to live in that very moment, every waking breath felt. Each kiss, touch was a symphony of the senses. A masterpiece to be savored, treasured.

River made me feel alive, but he also could easily give me the kiss of death. My decision was unchanged, but I just wanted to remember... how it felt to be so spellbound, so electrified, wanton, and purely intrinsic.

He had a stunning body with an unmatched ability to make a woman melt into vapid oblivion with a mere touch. Although those were all incredible to note, I had to admit they palled in comparison to what truly drew me to him—his voice.

The raspy sound of his voice seemed to reach out to you, into your heart, gnawing at your soul. Each syllable was a balm to heal what was broken within, belting a song with his beloved string guitar on his thigh. I remembered waking up to his presence doing that, sated from our lovemaking while watching me sleep, back when he loved me just as much as I had loved him. Those days were long gone, but I still cherished them. I could comfort myself that at least I knew what it meant to love and to be loved.

Memories came crashing down like embers from hell, bright and blazing, but never permanent, vanishing into the abyss, leaving me a speck of soot, staining my soul, forever marking my heart.

Tears came next. I cried for what was lost and what might have been, for the past that had strangled me since birth. I wept, sobbing for feeling so alone. Loneliness was something I was accustomed to. I was akin to it. It had been my constant companion, but tonight... I wished it away, hoping it would leave me in peace for a time.

# //

In my miserable half-asleep state, I heard a stifled ring echoing from my cell phone that was in my purse at a distance. I left it somewhere in the room, but I wasn't quite sure where.

_It's probably on the floor_ , I tried to vaguely recall.

Unceremoniously, I slipped out of bed, donning only my lace thong as I squinted about the darkened room, scanning the black and white trellis patterned carpet. Alas, I found the shrilling thing sitting next to the door. The probability of me dropping it the second I got into my bedroom was likely.

Plucking my clutch, I brusquely yanked it open and took hold of my offending phone.

"Hello?" I grumbled at the intruder.

"Are you coming or not? We've been waiting for half an hour now. Where are you, Sprinkles?" Anton's exasperated voice boomed in my ear.

"What time is it?" Scratching the side of my head, I retraced my steps and landed back on the bed, hoping I could catch a few more hours of peace and quiet.

"It's two in the afternoon, sweet cheeks."

Peace and quiet could wait. My friends had to come first.

"Damn. Sorry, I overslept." If being in a half state could be acknowledged as such. "I'll be there in fifteen. Save some food for me please, I beg you. I'm hella starving." Cutting the call, I begrudgingly got out of bed for the last time and headed straight into the bathroom to wash up.

My blackout curtain did a fine job of not permitting any light coming through, but it made a mess of my body clock. Ever since I had it installed, getting anywhere on time was a challenge. Today was Netflix; how did I manage to forget that? It was a ritual for Anton and our other neighbor, Kells. Sundays were exclusively to lounge around, drink, and get fat in front of the television while watching a show the three of us agreed to. We were into Season Two of _The Borgias_.

Speaking of food, I barely got a chance to nibble on anything last night since my dress was the sort where if one ate one too many fries and it would combust. Therefore, I had begrudgingly nibbled on a low-fat mozzarella stick to stave off hunger, promising myself that, once the party was over, I could happily pig out on waffles and fried chicken.

Parker wouldn't have appreciated that. The man was a health nut. And even though we had just begun dating, he had already lectured me of my high love and devotion for all things fatty and sugary. What human wouldn't be enticed with chocolate? Parker, apparently, came from another planet. That was part of his charm, though. He was different from me. And while I lacked family, he had a huge one, mainly all working in the field of Orthodontics. That somewhat explained his disimpassioned hatred for sugary things. Unlike his family members, he pursued acting. The dark horse, as he nicely put it.

Back to my present predicament, my stomach was making a loud protest. _Feed me_ , it demanded.

Dressed in a matching loose white tracksuit, I grabbed my phone and room keys before heading out the door barefoot, tiptoeing toward the elevator. Anton lived one level above me. His was a larger apartment with a much better view, which made it the perfect rendezvous spot for our lazy Sundays.

As expected, he had his apartment door already cracked open, an impatient yet gracious gesture as they waited my arrival.

"I'm here, I'm here!" I declared as I hurried into his place before securing the door behind me.

Anton gave me a sheepish look. "How was the party last night? I tried to come, but something came up. I'm super-duper proud of you, honey. You know that, don't you?" He clearly needed to shave his beard, but he seemed not to care, closely resembling a cub.

Anton wasn't one to socialize, so his excuse, or lack thereof, was already expected. As for Kells, she had worked late, so she couldn't have made it. Her schedule deferred. If there was a music video, promotional event, or award shows, she was booked. She was a brilliant makeup artist. But even though she had a mad career, she was adamant about getting Sundays off. She said she needed it to recoup and reenergize.

Glancing toward the other girl across the room who was clearly too keen on her waffles and fried chicken, I reverted my gaze back to my scruffy cub of a friend. "I don't want to be rude, but can we skip the talk for a minute? Um, where's my food?"

Cue the angry growl of my stomach. It made me flinch in annoyance. I hated to be this desperately hungry. One should never push their body to the limits of desperation. It hadn't been worth the dress.

_River thought otherwise_ , my stupid brain butted in.

"Your grub's on the coffee table." Anton directed toward where Kells was situated with no care in the world, eating her heart out.

Without much ado, I marched toward the heavenly smell and happily sighed as I sat down across form Kells. Anton had three sofas, so it gave us enough privacy while we comfortably watched our show.

Chicken and waffles from Roscoe's. The first bite sure felt like ambrosia on my tongue.

"Mmm... This is the life." My tummy happily obliged.

"Hollywood's going to give you an eating disorder, Cara." Kells gave me a worried frown. "Consider yourself warned."

Glaring at her, I scarfed down a piece of waffle. "Don't think so," I mumbled before stuffing more into it.

"Dating Parker surely would." Kells couldn't resist herself, knowing how neurotic and controlling Parker could be.

Anton made an overly dramatic sigh before throwing himself on the sofa situated between us. "You can do better than that guy, but whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I guess."

My eyes flickered between my friends while cautiously chewing my food. They never warmed up to Parker, and the sentiment was mutual. I tried not to merge both and kept them separate. Well, as much as I could manage, anyway.

Recognizing my uncomfortable state, Kells gave me a heartening look. "Did anything newsworthy happen last night?" Kells inquired, changing the subject before grabbing the remote and beginning to scan the screen for our show.

_Umm, nothing that I want to confess._

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my food. "Hmm, no, not really. Same old, same old." Lies. Pure and utter lies.

"So, you haven't had sex with Parker, then?" Kells asked playfully with a perfectly arched brow, properly displaying her amazing features, and that included her brows.

"Not yet, no." Was it a crime to wait? A month wasn't enough for me to get to that point yet. Call it archaic, but what the hell? It was my body; my decision.

"Why ever not?" Anton derided. "Don't care much for him, but even I can say that he's beddable."

Kells smirked before grinning at our friend. "At this point, Anton, you'd hump anything that has a dick."

He flung a plastic fork at Kells. "Sad, but true. If I don't lose any baby fat anytime soon, I'll forever be an emancipated virgin."

"Dream on. You're as virgin as I am," Kells interjected.

Kells was a carefree soul, but she never failed to tangle herself with peculiar men. The last one was secretly married, and the second she had found out, she dumped the idiot. It was difficult to trust anyone around Los Angeles. People around here were a different breed of human. One surely wouldn't know what the other person could be hiding. Maybe that was why I didn't mind Parker so much. At least I knew what I was getting with him. Most importantly, the man wasn't married.

"Parker and I are fine... for the moment. I'm in no rush to get there, you know. I want to take this slow, and I think he gets that."

"Are you sure about that? Men like Parker don't wait out for long. They know what they've got, and they use it to their advantage. And that includes knowing how the opposite sex reacts and fawns over them. I'm sure he's not short on that."

"I'm ready when I'm ready. Case closed." I would know when the right time presented itself. To be honest, after seeing how badly I reacted to my ex's touch, how could I fathom doing the deed with a man who had the quarter of River's sex appeal and charm? True, I was attracted to Parker, but after being severely reminded of my first love, he palled in comparison.

It was an unkind thing to do, comparing your current beau from your last. Regardless, to this day, no one came close to River. Still, I couldn't forget how everything had crumbled due to his inability to protect me and our relationship.

Parker was second best, and although my heart longed for the golden days of the past, there was no turning back. Consequently, I had to continue on living and see if this relationship with Parker could blossom into something worth nurturing.

They said being positive would enhance one's outlook on life. Therefore, I must train my mind to see the good and caution the bad in every given situation.

Later that night, I received a call from my boyfriend, informing me that he was coming over tomorrow for a much-needed time together. He was right; there were a few kinks we needed to iron out.

# Chapter Thirty-Two

"What's your schedule like for the next month?" Parker gracefully wound his pasta with his spoon, neatly weaving it before slipping it into his mouth.

We were having an early dinner at his stunning home in Toluca Lake. Even dressed in casual clothes, Parker looked insanely handsome, closely resembled a young Ryan Philippe, with the sex appeal to boot.

At ease with each other's company, I seemed reticent as my thoughts ran with the usual plight—River and our intense encounter. Though Parker hadn't mentioned what had happened at the party, I could sense that something was amiss with him. He was curious.

Back to the question at hand, I pondered what it entailed. Addison, my agent, hadn't clued me in just yet.

"I have a meeting lunch tomorrow; I'll know then." Particularly curious, I placed my fork down and reached for my wine glass. "Why? Is there anything in particular you want to know about?"

"I just want to coordinate our schedules; that's all," he assured. "Do you have any new projects coming up?"

Good question. Did I?

"I'm not sure..." I lingered, wondering if there were new projects between my contracted shoots for _Clover_. Most actors did, but I was new to the industry. "What's yours like? Will you be busy?"

Parker had already made a name for himself, so his schedule was hectic compared to mine.

He nodded before taking hold of the wine bottle and refilling both our glasses. "Yes, actually, but it'll be shot in New York and Vegas. We can see each other whenever we have some free time."

Synchronizing our calendar was entailed when dating an actor. Best I got used to it.

"That would be nice. I'd love to explore New York. I've been there once for a press junket, so all work and no play." I haven't been to many places. I should change that. With my steady checks from the show, I could travel to places I had only dreamt about.

"I'd love to show you around. It's one of my favorite places in the world. The scene is just different compared to here." He grinned before toying with his wine glass, showcasing his fabulous set of teeth and great smile. "So, what were you and your friends up to yesterday?"

"Netflix. You know, the works," I immediately replied. He knew what my Sundays were filled with. Nothing had changed on that front.

"You really need to socialize more," he suggested softly, throwing me a curious stare and studying my reaction. "In fact, we'll go out tonight so I can introduce you to a new set of friends."

It was the way he delivered the last sentence, like my present ones were not worthwhile.

"What's wrong with the current ones I have? I'd love to hear you explain yourself." My strained voice didn't hide how provoked I was.

Hastily placing my utensils down, I took a moment to tell myself to calm down before my crazy came out and decided to throw the freshly refilled glass at his arrogant face.

He shrugged, pretending he hadn't just stated something offensive. "Nothing. Nothing at all. But if you want to be known, Cara, you know you have to mingle with your own kind now."

And what _kind_ were Anton and Kells?

Teeth clenched, hands bunch up, I was ready to raise Hell. "They are my kind. How dare you suggest I drop them because they're not Hollywood enough in your own opinion."

"It's being who's who that matters here. You should surround yourself with people that can enhance your image—be seen and photographed with the 'it' people, and not with a repressed faggot and the tragic homewrecker."

_How dare he use that against me._

It was unfortunate he had been there when Kells unloaded her disastrous relationship. What a total douchebag move. Clearly this man didn't know me. Otherwise, he would never have uttered that moronic nonsense.

"Sorry, but that's not why I began acting. I don't want to be chased down by paparazzi and get hounded every second I'm out grocery shopping. If that's the kind of life you strive for, then I think we should end this now before this gets any worse." There was more to life than competing with whoever had the most social media followers. I got that they were important, but I wasn't a shallow person, either. It just wasn't me. "You better get used to it, or we have to rethink this entire relationship altogether."

"I was only suggesting. I didn't mean to offend you, Cara." Unfazed by my embroiled state, he reached for my hand, but I withdrew it from the table. "I'm sorry."

Too late. For a moment, I had thought he was different. Oh yeah, he was different all right. Not in the sense I had believed. Could he already be this rotten, or was this just a random thought that shouldn't have been said out loud?

"Baby, please forgive me."

I kept staring at him, wide-eyed and in deep thought, mind racing as to what I should do next. _Goodness, how shallow can he be?_ Maybe he meant well, but what he said made me feel weary of him. But the question was: was it enough to break it off?

He had apologized and seemed sincerely sorry. But God help me if Parker dared to suggest any more callous ventures down the line. I wouldn't give him a pass for a second time.

"I'll forgive if you don't ever bring this subject up again, and if you promise never to call them horrendous names."

The shadow over his face was replaced with relief before he got up and circled the table. Cupping my face, he placed an overeager kiss on my lips. "I promise. Thank you," he breathed out, reassured.

I knew it was weak of me to brush it off, but after the week I'd had—not to mention the tryst with River—I owed Parker another chance. Though I would never forget. It had showed a different Parker, one who was strategically hidden. I just hoped there would be no repeat.

For the rest of the evening, instead of going out to meet his friends, we opted to go to the movies. And for the first time tonight, I noticed how he adored the limelight and how comfortable he was when a couple wanted to take a picture with him. I needed to get used to this. I was just glad I wasn't all that known.

Before heading to our designated theater, I dashed to the ladies' room while Parker went in search of our selected seats. It was the most inconvenient time to have my monthly visitor arrive. Thank heavens for vending machines, or I would have had to trot back in search for Parker and ask him to drive me to the nearest pharmacy. I could easily see how annoyed he would be. He didn't come off as the type to go the ladies' aisle and purchase a box of tampons. He would most likely die of embarrassment and quit being together if someone took a photo of him and posted it on Instagram. The very image made me smile wickedly with glee as I cleaned up.

Once finished, I exited the restroom and pulled out my phone, needing to check the time. Much to my surprise, River's name stared back at me. He had left me a message.

Staring at the screen, I was out of breath as my shaky fingers punched the message tab to open the folder. I just saw his name; why in God's name was I shaking like a blizzard had just hit me?

_Hello, it's me again. I know you're probably sick of me, but I just wanted to say that I'm boarding soon and wanted to let you know that I'm leaving LA. You probably don't care, anyway, but I felt like I should tell you. Anyhow, it was good seeing you again. I hope you're okay. I miss you._

He missed me. That single line brought a fresh wave of melancholy. Lamenting on what once was and what had been lost, I willed myself to tuck my phone back into my purse and not respond.

Though I sat next to Parker for the next three hours, him holding me close, my mind was elsewhere. It was drawn to _him_ and what he might feel knowing he would never get a reply from me.

# Chapter Thirty-Three

Lunch with my agent, Addison Bennett, was always a pleasant meeting. She was such an animated character who radiated warmth and elegance that I couldn't help being enlightened whenever I was with her. Her auburn hair perfectly fitted her personality. Though she was my agent, she became more than that. She had developed into someone I could lean on when I began to doubt myself, motivating me to be the best and to always strive to better my craft. On a personal level, I could confide without judgment. Given my background, I found it more than difficult to trust anyone, so it went without saying that I was grateful for her friendship.

We were in our usual spot, dining at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. The retro-chic black and white flooring, superb menu, and famous patrons made this into one of Los Angeles' trendy stomping ground.

In the midst of our meal, Addison informed me that _Clover_ got picked up for two more seasons, and they wanted to immediately shoot in the next three to four months. The location was San Francisco, so it wasn't a hardship for me to commute once or twice a week, depending on how much screen time I was scheduled for.

I would be pretty much locked-in contract and wouldn't be able to entertain any other projects while filming. I didn't mind it very much. I loved the cast and crew, and I couldn't wait to see what the writers had in store for the show and my character, Janet Samuels.

Bright green eyes sparkled back at me, enthused. "Now we're done with business, let's talk about your life. How are things going with Parker?" she asked as she jovially sipped her dirty martini.

She seemed to have warmed to Parker. He was a total charmer if he wished to be. She wasn't immune to it, unlike Kells and Anton.

"It's..." I trailed off. How should I put it? "Well, it's definitely going." _To where exactly, I wasn't quite sure yet._

"Oh?" She arched a brow. "Anything I need to know?"

Since she asked, I had something else to say on that matter. "Well... he sort of suggested I should have a new set of friends, specifically those who are popular and would put me in paparazzi-ville."

"He's one of those, is he?" Addison didn't even bat an eyelash. "And I guess that put you off?"

"Of course it did. What decent person wouldn't be?" Openly talking about this brought back the fire and fury that had been suppressed overnight after Parker had apologized. "I don't know. I guess I never realized how shallow the guy I'm dating is until yesterday." A part of me chided myself that I should have seen this coming for miles. However, I was too charmed with his physical attributes and sweet nothings to see what lied underneath.

Seeming to pick up on my thoughts, Addison asked with a knowing smile, "Aren't you glad you don't have an agent who pushes you to be someone you're not?"

"I'm so very glad. You have no idea." My thoughts immediately went straight to a different agent, one who had orchestrated all those tabloid sensations just to get his client on the map.

Ari Braun was the devil himself. He wouldn't let anything pass him. He controlled every aspect of River's life, and I wouldn't put it past him to dictate who he should and shouldn't bed. It was unimaginable to have someone like that in my life, and it surprised me that River would put up with it.

After the meeting, I was on my way home when my phone rang. Distracted by oncoming traffic, I activated Bluetooth.

"Hello?" I greeted with a raspy voice.

"Well, how did your meeting go?" Parker's smooth voice responded back.

I wanted to sigh but refrained. Maybe he had good intentions. He did want the best for me, didn't he? I shouldn't be irked that it was the first thing he said.

"Great. We got renewed for two more seasons. It's amazing." It was. I couldn't describe the whirlwind of emotions I was experience. All I could say was that it was extraordinary. And yes, I could admit that this rush of exhilaration could be addictive.

"Good. That's what I was hoping to hear. Congratulations, baby. How does it feel to be a part of a successful show? Not a lot of people can say that, you know. And maybe you should speak to the writers and ask if they can give you a challenging role, something that might get you noticed for an Emmy."

"Seriously, Parker, can you just take a moment to be happy for me without having to ruin it by suggesting something?" He was full of ideas, but I was beginning to doubt he had my best interest at heart. "If you want to be famous by association, then you've chosen the wrong woman."

He was beginning to make me feel undeserving. Was that intentional? I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that this was supposed to be about me.

Past caring about suppressing my annoyance and disappointment, I immediately ended the call without hearing his lukewarm answer. He was starting to bring such a negative impact to my life.

Was Parker the kind of man I wanted by my side? How could he begin to fathom my past if he couldn't see past the glitz, glamor, and fame?

Beyond irritated, I concentrated on my driving and pondered my next move, weighing the pros and cons until I reached home.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I barely recognized Parker standing right outside my door, possibly ready to apologize for his birdbrained moment.

As I approached him, I questioned myself. Was this worth arguing about since he simply wanted me to be successful? It was a catch twenty-two. The old me and the new me were clashing to make a decision.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it to come out that way. I swear it," he blurted out before I reached the door. Hastily striding toward me, his baby blue eyes pleaded as he took my hands into his, gripping with intensity. "I didn't mean to piss you off, Cara. Let's just forget I even said it okay?"

How many times did I have to forget things? First it was my friends and now this. Crap! Why did he have to turn out this way? It was such a major turn off. If he wasn't gorgeous, I wouldn't even be contemplating breaking things off with him. Besides, it seemed nice to have someone check on me and knowing that I was at least trying to move on from my first love. But the question remained: was it worth it?

"Listen, Parker... I don't know if I'm the person to make you happy. You seem to want more from me, and I'm not sure I can give that."

"I want you," he rushed out, cupping my cheek. "You're beautiful; how can I not want you? Every guy I know is jealous I got you before anyone else. You're everything I've asked for."

It was a compliment, wasn't it? Then why did he have the knack to cheapen it? Was I compelled to make such argument because he wasn't like River?

If I broke things off with Parker now, I would never know if I could make it work with another man. It had only been a month. Surely, I could give it a couple more before making such brutal judgment. After all, he did want me, and his loyalty should account far more than his nuances and blunders.

Staring deeply into his eyes, I released a defeated sigh and made a small decisive nod. "We better get in before my neighbors starts listening in. This is not the kind of drama I want to get noticed," I muttered before moving past him as I fished out my keys and opened the door to my apartment.

Setting my things down on the glass table, I closed my eyes as I heard him in the background. Not before long, I felt him stand behind me, searing his hot lips on my exposed shoulder, slowly, eagerly.

"All this tension... I can make it go away," he whispered before I felt his hardened state pressing against my bottom.

Sex. Would it solve our problems? I wasn't sure, but Parker was getting emboldened with each passing second, gripping the side of my hips as he began to gradually rub against me. Confused as I was, the heated friction woke something within me. I couldn't deny how my body reacted to his unsubtle ministrations. It had been years since I had fully gone all the way with another man. Maybe he was right... Maybe this could be a good thing.

Appearing calm and collected, I stood idly by as he took charge, daring in his approach with my body. Compared to River's rough, devour you effect, Parker took his time, seducing me into submission. It was imperative he did in case I decided to change my mind.

He took his time taking my clothes off, while I still remained unresponsive. Call it nerves but I couldn't bring myself to look at him or utter a damn thing. And when he gestured to carry me to bed, I knew backtracking from here on would be near impossible.

Dazed, I watched with mixed emotions as he carefully put on protection. Parker's lovemaking was just as slow, and there were times when I wondered if reading the grocery list was more exciting than him pleasuring himself with my body. I did feel satisfied, but a mind-blowing experience it wasn't.

The whole experience left me reeling that I couldn't wait to be relieved of him. So, when Anton came knocking on my door, begging for a girls' night out with Kells, I jumped at the chance to be alone with my friends and with my troubled thoughts. More pointedly, River's face and how impossible it was not to feel as though I had just betrayed him.

Crazy didn't even cover it.

# Chapter Thirty-Four

Girls' night out consisted of my staple band of paragons along with Anton's cousin, Rose. We were lounging at The Nice Guy while nibbling on asparagus wrapped in prosciutto and guzzling on Rosè. It had been ages since I had let myself go, but tonight called for it. It was a celebrity hotspot, and I normally wouldn't go to such a place, but Kells loved it here.

Dressed to impressed with my two-piece, low cut crop top and skin-hugging skirt ensemble, I exuded a confident millennial who knew what she wanted and ruthlessly went after it. I carried on as if I had no care in the world.

After my second flute of the happy pink bubbles, I couldn't ignore the incessant buzzing of my phone any longer. Parker had been ceaselessly trying to converse since I became closed off and distant after our first physical intimacy.

"Hello, hello. I'm still alive, so fizzle out your bubbles, dearest boyfriend. I'm fine," I took the call with as much enthusiasm as I could evoke.

There was a grunt on the other end of the line. "Where are you?" Parker asked. "You sound drunk. Tell me where you are right now. I'm coming to get you, Cara."

_With the people you deemed irrelevant_ , my mind replied. Instead, of saying that aloud, I chose the less feisty route. "I'm with my girlfriends; there's nothing to worry about."

Parker let out an irritated huff. "I do worry. You're out partying, and people are going to think you're single if you keep this up. Let me come over at least. That way, I'll dismiss anyone's doubts."

I dared not think what transpired between us earlier this afternoon. I just couldn't. Besides, I needed to be with my friends. It was one of those make or break moments, and I couldn't be alone with my wretched thoughts.

Not only did I feel like I betrayed River, but I also felt like I hurt myself by trying to prove a point. I was in a state of denial, and I had no hopes of coming down from it. Not yet, anyway.

You're really sending out bad vibes. I don't wanna be around that type of negativity right now. I'll see you soon, okay? Thank you mucho. Bye." Instantly ending the call, I shrugged as I ignored the knowing looks my friends were giving me, possibly wondering if things were fine between me and Parker. I had yet to divulge this new development to them, and I couldn't bring myself to talk about. Moreover, if they began to ask questions, I had no answers. So, for the time being, I was in the state of gray.

Although I had been firm and clear about what I intended for Parker to do, he seemed to not get the blatant message. Missed call after missed call, he went on until I had to put my phone on silent. I couldn't shut it off in case there was a call from Addison.

Five and a half hours later, I came home after being dropped off at my front door by dear reliable Anton, totally inebriated, and still the calls had yet to cease.

Parker was doing his damnedest to irritate me to the fullest. Why, for the love of everything that's holy, could the man not get what the word "no" meant? Well, unless he was trying to provoke me to do the inevitable.

_Is that what he wants?_

The answer was obvious. Best to deal with this then.

I took hold of my phone and changed my settings back to normal so that when the next call came, I would be ready for confrontation.

Alas, the call came less than ten minutes later. I needed not check the caller.

"Okay, gosh, lock it down. I'm fine. No need to go psycho on me. Holy hairy shit balls, I'm home now, okay?" Tried as I might to sound stern, my words ended up coming out slurred. "This is bad... Whoops. Sorrrry," I hiccupped before I was hit with a mild hysteria of giggles. That Jäger in the end was a big no-no, but it had been too fun to resist.

"Who's threatening to harm you?" The words rang in my ears, making me squint while my head spun. "Cara? Are you there? I'm about to call my security team to hunt you down if you don't answer me right now!"

Security team? What? He had one?

"Cara!"

Then it clicked.

"River," I rushed out, instantly frozen in the middle of my living room. How in the world did his voice not immediately register in my inebriated brain? _How?_

"Who's threatening to harm you?" he asked again.

"Harm me?" I chirped. "No one. Well, none that I can think of." Glancing around the dimly lit living room, I fiddled with the ends of my skirt, suddenly nervous that I found myself talking to my ex, the one who I couldn't stop thinking about ever since I had given my body to someone else. It seemed the more I drank, my memory bank propelled to dwell further into the past. A part of me congratulated myself that I finally took the risk, and the other part wondered if River could hear my guilty heart echoing in my voice. "I didn't know it was you. Why have you called?"

"I couldn't help it. I wanted to hear your voice. It's been one of those days..." he trailed off, seeming as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "Hearing your voice always made me feel good. It's been a rough day; that's all."

One could only wonder the pressure of being River Ellis. I surely didn't want to be in his shoes, not for a minute, because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it.

River sounded like there was more to it than the normal pressures of being a Hollywood star. I had seen him in all sorts of work strain before, but this was more than that.

Deep concern immediately drew out from my heart, an instant reaction of overprotectiveness and concern.

"What's wrong?" My heart squeezed upon hearing the tone of my own voice. It was loaded with emotions, good and bad.

"Work stuff, and, you know... since I've found you again, it hasn't been easy." Surprisingly, he was forthright with his response.

"I know. It's been hellish, to say the least."

"So, no one's trying to harm you, right? For a second there, I thought you were in danger. If I overreacted, you know things can get crazy in Hollywood. You never really know what's up."

"I've figured as much." Anyone living around here knew it, as I was learning myself. Opting to change the subject, I veered toward what prompted this call. "So, uh, what—"

"What have you been up to? It's late there, isn't it?"

Since he was so eager to know, I wondered if he was thinking that I was with Parker.

"I was out with friends." And right on cue, there was a knock on my door.

Shoot, could that be Parker? Should I end the call and open the door? Damn. This was a sticky situation.

"It's your boy toy, sweet tits," Anton teased before pressing the buzzer.

Beyond relieved that it wasn't Parker, I returned my attention back to the call. "One second, yeah? My friend's at the door."

With my phone secured in my left hand, I opened the door to find Anton sporting a silly grin with my shoes decoratively on the sides of his head as his antlers.

"Girl, I don't know how you walk around without shoes on. It's a little ghetto, but I won't hold that against you when plastered," he greeted with a twinkle in his eye.

Thinking back, yes, I was too drunk to walk with heels on.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome." He then spotted the phone in my hand and raised his brow before snatching it from my grasp in a span of seconds. "We deposited her safe and sound, Parker." His brow grew higher. "Wait, you're not Parker... Hmmm, and whom might you be, Mister, with a husky and oh so sexy voice?"

Oh, my God. He was sending me early to my grave!

"Dammit, Anton, give me back my phone!" I glared at him as I tried to take my device back, but he slapped my hand away, incredulous.

Anton then gave me a wicked look like he intended to find out what naughty things I had been hiding from him. "Oh, so you're an old friend. Uh-huh. Okay, so how friendly are you, eh?" He giggled like River had said something flattering. "You actually sound familiar, but no name comes to mind."

Shit. Of course Anton was one of millions who were obsessed with TVM. He would go hysterical if he realized he was speaking to his professed sex Viking God.

"Your name's River." He wiggled his brows at me while I stared with my mouth agape. "I'm Anton, by the way, in case you were wondering. Cara and I are neighbors, and I'm one of her best friends. Funny that she hasn't mentioned you..." He was so engrossed in their conversation that he seemed to have forgotten that he hijacked it from me. "I love your name. It's very earthy."

Earthy? Like hell. _How does he come up with these things?_

"Anton!" I grumbled, ready to commit murder. I wouldn't put it past him to keep asking River personal questions, and God help me if it ever came to that.

"Okay, well, I have to head back since little Miss Ghetto here looks like she wants to flay this fatty perfection alive. I'll leave you two be, and hope I'll get to meet you soon, Earthy River."

Watching Anton's mischievous face disappear toward the elevator, I immediately shut my door and leaned against it.

"I'm so very sorry. I'm so embarrassed right now. I hope you weren't offended or anything." My heart was thumping so loudly I could swear anyone within a mile radius could hear it. It felt as though I died a thousand deaths from mortification.

"Don't be sorry. It's always nice to meet the new people in your life. He seems keen on you and sounds like a decent friend." River sounded like he hadn't minded the intrusion. In fact, he seemed to have welcomed it.

"You have no idea. That man won't stop hounding me now, wondering who you are."

"Are you going to tell him?" He seemed reluctant to ask.

"I don't know, because the second I do, there's no taking it back." It surprised me that I admitted the truth to him. But maybe that was a good thing. River had to understand why I kept him hidden. Divulging my secret would forever link me with him, and that was one of my qualms in trying to keep my past a secret. River had no place in this new chapter of my life.

"What are you so afraid of?" he pressed, willing to hear the truth from my heart.

_You._ Always. "Everything," I managed to say. I was caught by surprise by how easily my mind responded. Yes, I was terrified of River and what having him in my life again entailed. He shook my foundations and threatened everything I had worked hard to attain. Engaging him would burn me, so it was no wonder I was beyond cautious to keep him at bay.

"You don't have to be afraid, Cara. I'm here to protect you, if you'll let me." His words entailed everything. He was giving me the world on a platter. Above all, he was handing me his heart. He was unapologetic in showing me what was in it; what was in his soul.

It was too much too soon. Forever was too soon.

"River—"

"Cara," he retorted with the same ferocity. One word, my name, and it contained everything I didn't want to remember.

"You're relentless." Shaking my head, I stared at the cerulean vase on the coffee table, pondering.

He loved me. Deep down, I knew he still did. However, my heart distrusted him, and there was no way he could fix that.

"Am I? I didn't realize." He laughed melodiously, sending me straight to the shitters of memory lane.

His laugh was the sexiest thing I had heard in my entire existence. It was an absurd thing to say, let alone think it, but it was the truth.

"So, you're drunk. I love a drunk Cara. You light up and come alive in such a beautiful way. I wish I was there to watch your animated face," he carried on his jovial, teasing demeanor. And in the present state I was in, things could get shifty.

"I thought you loved me drunk because you used to get away with whatever you wanted to do with me." Word vomit much?

"I did," he murmured with a definite smile in his tone. "And you did give me free reign over that sweet body. Jesus, how I loved it when you submitted to me. Fuck, Cara." There was no doubt he was transported back to the past. As was I.

The memory of us entangled in bed sent a shiver down my body. How he took charge. How he kissed and grazed my skin with his teeth. His vigor and passions... and how insatiable he was. He could go on and on until I was sated and unconscious from exhaustion. He loved just as he dreamed, larger than life, by giving his all, heart and soul, without restrictions. When he made love, I knew it with every fiber of his being, and each cell in my body hummed for his possession. He loved, he took, and he conquered, no holds barred.

No man could compare. I knew that now. He just made me realize how true that was.

This was bad in epic proportions. If only Parker could make me tremble the way this man could...

I loudly sighed, feeling the weight of a losing battle.

"Cara..." he said smoothly, looking like he had been vividly picturing me in a lurid way.

Biting my lip, I savored the sound of my name coming from him. "Yeah?"

Damn him. How was it possible he turned me on like no other man could?

"I love you. I fucking love you," he confessed before adding, "And I've got to go, but I just wanted to say that I hope you can forgive me. Speak to you soon, my love."

He didn't give me a chance to respond before ending the call. It was a good thing since I had none. None to voice out loud, anyway.

How could he just state he loved me like it was the most natural thing in the world? How?

Like every encounter I'd had with him, I was left reeling and slept not a wink.

I couldn't love him still... or I would be doomed forever.

# Chapter Thirty-Five

For the next week, I was consumed with reading scripts and wondering which one would be best to audition for. It was the greatest of distractions, and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

Parker and I seemed to have a silent agreement not to press the tense underlying current between us. We simply carried on as if we were perfectly fine, and for the time being, it suited me well. Now he was coming over tonight, and I was making dinner. This would be the first time I had seen him in a week since he had a tight schedule. He was set to leave for New York in two days.

I made Ina Garten's penne alla vecchia bettola with a simple garden salad and filet mignon medallions. It wasn't difficult to follow through, and it was one of my favorite go-to menus for guests. This was also my first time cooking for Parker, and I was a little hyped to hear his feedback. He was a major foodie and loved to dine at Michelin star restaurants. God knew mine couldn't compare but it was still beyond delicious. I just hoped he saw the effort I put into it.

He arrived on my doorstep at exactly six-thirty with a bottle of wine in hand.

"What's for dinner?" He took a whiff before he beamed and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You cooked? Oh, baby, that's amazing of you." Kissing my cheek, he then spun me around to face him. "I'm sure you already know I'm a picky eater, so don't get too offended if I don't like something," he warned before leaving a chaste kiss on my lips.

His facial expression had gone from soft to a cocky smirk, which irritated the hell out of me. The idiot couldn't simply enjoy the fact that I had painstakingly catered to him.

"Gee, thanks for the heads-up." Why did I even bother? Regardless, it was too late to shove this idea down.

"All I did was warn you. I don't want to end our night arguing again, so don't get annoyed with me, Cara."

If only I was annoyed. I was something all right, but annoyance wasn't it. And for fuck's sake, couldn't we just enjoy something without him dampening our time together with some unruly comment? I got it that he was high maintenance; there was no arguing about that.

Instead of focusing on the negative vibe he gave off, I tried my damnedest to concentrate on making the table and placing the food in their serving dishes.

"So, any news on the auditions front? Liked, any scripts?" Parker tried small talk, to which I replied a curt "some" and carried on with setting the table while he busied himself by opening the bottle of Malbec he brought.

We dined in uncomfortable ambiance. Every topic he dwelled on were mostly about him, and I needed not bother replying. It was one of those moments when he got so enthralled talking about himself that it was to the point of nausea. He wasn't normally so self-absorbed, but when he did, it could go on for quite a while.

"This is surprisingly good," he paid me a compliment, half an hour too late.

"I'm flattered," I commented sarcastically.

He made a shocking statement after he had criticized that I didn't use organic ingredients. God help the normal folks who didn't shop at Whole Foods. It was an appalling crime apparently, according to Mister Hollywood here.

"I have to get up early to meet my trainer at Runyon Canyon tomorrow for a hike. I had to book months ahead, but he's the best, so I can't complain. Why don't you join me?" He offered an olive branch. "With your healthy appetite, you need to keep it in check. They look at your figure, too, when you audition. Keep that in mind."

And he just had to keep yapping. Typical Parker.

Keep my figure in check, he said? No, fuck you very much. I wasn't fat, though I wasn't claiming to be in the greatest shape of my life, and I definitely didn't need those derogatory words.

"I'm fine," I bitingly snapped back. "Enjoy your hike." Taking a hard stance, I had another helping of pasta.

"Don't take offense. I'm only concerned for you because, if you don't watch out, your thighs will get bigger the more waffles you shove in your mouth. Let's be honest, you eat those bastards on a weekly basis."

He shouldn't be provoking me when I was holding a steak knife.

"Back off, asshat. You sure aren't Jenny Craig, so shut it or I'll stab you with a fork." I was never a violent person, but seriously, Parker had the tendency to bring this side of me out. It was frightening. However, not only did he just insult my body, he had hijacked my appetite, too. Damn him.

Unceremoniously getting up from my chair, I plucked my wine glass from the table and strode over to my balcony, hoping to God that watching the sunset would calm me. At this point, I was ready to call it quits. Maybe it was for the best. I barely knew the man, so it wasn't my fault when he turned out to be Mister Asshat.

"Relax, okay. Sheesh, it's not that serious. I'm sorry you didn't like me prying in your business. I just want you to be in the best shape of your life. I meant well, babes."

I was beyond persuasion.

"Whatever," I muttered without looking back at him.

This was my home. My safe haven, and he just managed to taint that. Maybe it seemed like a minor thing, and I might be overreacting, but his insults went deeper. It scraped into those scarred tissues that had healed, but those I had never emotionally recovered from. So no, he would never understand how one reckless comment could affect me.

"So, I guess sex is out of the question tonight?" he begrudgingly asked, evidently exasperated.

That made me see red.

_I should throw the wine in his face. That would spell out a big screw you, fucker._

Turning around to face him, I wanted to stomp on his balls. "Fuck to the yes."

Parker looked perplexed at my reaction. What had he expected? That I would welcome him with open arms? Ugh. I couldn't believe he expected sex? After those hurtful comments? Did he expect these glorious thick thighs to open up to entertain him? Ha. He could think again.

"I'm going to leave now, I don't want this to escalate further," he said, looking nervous all of a sudden, which was so unlike him. "I'm going to try to see you before I fly out, if you'll let me." He took a few steps toward me then halted. "Goodnight, babes."

His eyes told me that he wanted to kiss me, but had decided against it, leaving with a mere nod from me.

At this point, I wasn't furious anymore. More like indifferent. I realized that I didn't want to be stuck in this shell of a relationship. It was a good thing I had discovered the vast differences we had. The question now was: when was the right time to end it with him? I could have done it moments ago, but Parker seemed to have sensed that.

The clarity of what I intend to do next made me feel as though the clouds had been lifted and all the confusion immediately vanished. I was ready for the next chapter, and even though I would be single and back on the dating market, that didn't mean I would go back to River. No, that certainly wasn't the plan.

# //

Today was the third day this week I was prepping for an Indie movie audition. Those were the only scripts available, and I didn't mind that they were Indies since I believed it was a good platform to show off my craft without needing to worry about other things, like a bigger production film could have. Consequently, a lot of actors made it their launching pads to get better movie roles.

So, here I was, ready for that next stepping stone, dressed in all black.

I was on my way out when Kells called to ask if I wanted to meet for lunch later today.

"Sure. Same spot?" I hurriedly muttered as I stepped out of my door before I pulled out my keys to secure it.

"Same spot. Text me when you're done. I'll meet you there, yeah? And oh, best of luck to you, Sprinkles."

She used Anton's moniker for me. That warmed my heart.

"Will do. Thank you mucho." I beamed as I strode down the hallway, primed for an hour of a grueling audition. Addison had assured me that they were impressed with my performance in _Clover_ as Janet Samuels, the sister of the main character who also happened to be his confidante, who was also notoriously sharp and did most of the negotiations behind his back to get the essential contracts to secure the deal for their family business empire. She was the backbone of the family amidst the scandals her brother was involved in. Their other destructive sister was bent on sabotaging anything their parents built.

I had no qualms portraying a strong character. In fact, I blossom in them. I was in my element. It's the greatest feat to feel such profound connection to a character. For a newcomer like myself, it would be a great honor to get this role.

As expected, it took a little over an hour. I was calm and composed, ready to take on the role they had intended me to depict. And suffice it to say, I believed I nailed it nicely.

On my way out, I informed Addison how it all went, and she was confident that we would be getting a call for a second read-through. Afterward, I sent a quick message to Kells, telling her I was on my way.

We met in République on south La Brea, one of our favorite places to lunch. They had an eclectic menu from classic French cuisine to Asian dishes with a French twist. The flavors were bold and savory to the point of nirvana. The execution, undeniably sublime. And yes, we couldn't get enough.

"I've got news. I just got this gig to be the main makeup artist for this huge band." She was literally jumping up and down as we ordered our dishes at the counter. With her lethal looks, it was quite a reaction coming from her. She resembled Eva Green, smoking hot but could cut a person with a mere look. The combination was potent.

I murmured my thanks while I finished paying the cashier before diverting my attention back to my overjoyed friend. "That's amazing. Congrats, Kells. What band?" She worked with tons of artists before, but she had never reacted with such zeal.

Walking toward our table, we took our seats before she responded. "It's The Cold Conflict. They're British. Do you happen to like them?" Kells reached out for the bread and broke a piece before abundantly buttering it with gusto.

Hell to the yeah. It was no wonder she reacted with such fervor.

"They played at Coachella this year, but I couldn't make it." Subtlety was best in such circumstances. Fangirling was a major no-no. One could be doing cartwheels in one's mind, but on the outer surface, you displayed nonchalance and boredom. It was how the game was played.

"You should come with. I'd love to have you around for moral support. Not to mention, I'm sure you'd have fun just watching how things are on set," she carried on, devouring the bread. The poor woman was starved for food. Her hours were insanely hectic, so it was no wonder she had skipped a few meals before this one. It was her norm.

"Are you sure I wouldn't be a nuisance? You'd be busy, and I don't want to be a bother." I would love to go since I had never been in one, but I didn't want to interfere. I could just imagine the chaos behind the scenes for music videos.

Besides, I thought of meeting Will, the front man of the band. It made me tizzy with excitement. I had a serious thing about men who could carry a ballad and who looked sinful with a guitar in their hands. Musicians were the best kinds of lovers. I could attest to that.

"I want you to come, Cara. Anton's tagging along, too, so you've got no choice on this one. You're coming with," Kells persisted, shaking her head.

Like I could argue when she used one of her "it's my way or the highway" voice. I wouldn't dare.

"Okay, just let me know when, and I'll be there." My last audition wrapped up today, and if I didn't get casted, my schedule would be wide open for the next few months until _Clover_ began shooting the next season.

"How's Parker in New York? Miss him already?" she inquired as she checked her phone, missing the odd expression playing on my face.

"He just left, so no, I don't miss him yet." And I doubt I would.

Parker tried to see me hours before his departure, but I had dodged him. I didn't have the capacity to go through such emotional turmoil. It wasn't about being a coward. It was due to the fact that my brain was too exhausted from memorizing lines. In my right time, I would permanently cut ties with him. For now, I needed to focus on work.

"When do you plan on visiting him?"

"We haven't really discussed it yet. We will see how my auditions go. If I don't get a call back, I don't really mind. I'm sure I can fill my time with something before shooting starts for the show."

"Positive thoughts. You never know where your fate takes you. Life's short, so give it your best shot and don't waste it by thinking about what ifs. That's what I tell myself, anyway, you know, when things go to the shitters, but it might work for you, too," she encouraged.

God only knew what drama she had been put through. Kells had her own demons to slay, and the only way she got through it was by having a good head on her shoulder. She was made of stronger stuff, and I had always admired her spunk. I admired her tenacity. I wish I could be a badass like that someday, I would rule life like a champ.

The "what ifs" fucked me until I was on my knees praying for the nightmare to end. No, never again. I had learned that placing your entire heart and trust into someone was a heedless investment. The only person to trust was yourself. And you should never discount your instincts. They were instilled for a reason, and that reason was to run for the hills if it's telling you to.

"Thank you for the great advice, yogi master," I murmured with a smile before drinking a sip of my diet Coke. She could be so serious at times that I couldn't help teasing her.

She snorted before picking a piece of cherry tomato off my dish. "Seriously, you gotta go to yoga with me. I promise it'll stretch out your kinks. I'm sure you have loads of those." She winked at me cheekily.

If Parker had worded it that way and not in the most condescending way possible, we probably would have avoided the fight. But the man was crass and couldn't care less if he hurt my feelings.

"Now that I'm jobless for some time, count me in." With three months of vacancy, I needed something to do apart from dishing food in my mouth and binge watching Netflix. I needed a hobby, something productive.

"We gotta go out and celebrate my new gig tonight," Kells said, breaking through my thoughts.

Celebrate life. There was so much I was grateful for.

"Of course. Have anywhere in mind?"

"The Nice Guy for din-din. Then we can go dancing somewhere afterward. I'll have everything sorted out by tonight." With her connections in the industry, she had no problems getting us access anywhere.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Here's to single ladies." She raised her cup of coffee, grinning like a mad woman.

Raising my half-filled diet Coke, I wasn't one, but I toasted, anyway. What was the point in arguing? I was already planning on breaking up with Parker. I had the inkling to call him and cut it off right then and there, but where was the sensitivity to that?

Though our relationship was barely a month old, he still earned a respectable good-bye. No man or woman appreciated to be broken up over a phone call, text message, or an email, no matter the longevity of the relationship. I was not a cold-hearted bitch, thank you very much.

_So why did you leave and walk out of River's life without saying a word?_ my mind countered, unsettling me. I loathed it when my conscience popped out of nowhere.

"I have a cleaning appointment in an hour and half. Wanna tag along?"

We were just about done eating, and I couldn't help taking note that there was a sheepish feeling when she stated "cleaning appointment." It sounded tricky.

"What kind of cleaning are we talking about here? Dental? Pedicures?" Pedicures were cleaning in some way, weren't they?

"Oh, you know, the usual." She waved her hand like it wasn't a big deal before she was distracted with a business call.

While she busied herself, I was making hand signals and trying to mouth the words that I wasn't sure, but she wasn't having it. She basically dragged me toward her car, leaving mine with the valet while she took us to our next destination.

I hadn't really minded. Well, up until I found out it was not the "usual kind" as she had assured me. I was sure a colon hydrotherapy wasn't the norm, not even for me. Talk about taking this friendship to another level.

"Does your friend want to try it as well?" the kind technician asked Kells.

My ears turned crimson. I vehemently shook my head in protest. Hell no. I was beyond terrified.

Kells turned toward me. "Can I sign you up for this? Please. I'll pay and everything. Do this for me please, Sprinkles?" she pleaded, hands bunched together.

I was sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I was being put on the spot while the turd technician patiently waited for us to figure it out. Kells wasn't taking no for an answer.

This woman was surely nuts. How did I become friends with her again? Right now, I couldn't recall.

"Give us a moment please." Yanking Kells, I took her to the side, ready to reason. "Kells, this isn't my thing, you know that. I'm not into trendy shit like this. Like, for real dude, what the hell? I can't. The very thought of it terrifies the living daylights out of me." The idea of inserting some plastic tubing in my sacred rectum wasn't what I envisaged for my afternoon. Talk about total violation.

"It's not that big a deal. People everywhere do it. Hell, do you have any idea how many business transactions are being done while they're getting their shit vacuumed?"

_I. Fucking. Cannot. With. Her._

"Exactly, I don't want anything vacuumed. Thanks, but no thanks." My shit was sitting still. They didn't need to be evacuated. They could go when ready. Who invented this shenanigan anyway?

"You only live once. Come on, please? This will make me a happy girl. Indulge me this once." Kells pouted while putting on a major sad face.

The woman _never_ pouted. Talk about major guilt trip galore.

"Happy, really? Like knowing that you aren't going through it alone makes you happy?" I whisper-hissed, torn with what to do next. "What if I have some allergy reaction to the tube they insert? Or I'll be so stuffed with water I'll die from it? Hell, if I die, I'm not even sure I have life insurance. What the hell, Kells!"

She frowned. "Are you saying you're allergic to anal sex?"

What? "No—yes—well no, not that I've ever—Kells! Ugh you're annoyingly hopeless."

She was relentless, and it was making me nervous because I never won with her. She was would never yield. She was just that kind of person. God help me, I needed a miracle.

"You love me annoying." She took my hand and pleaded some more. "If you do this, I'd love you forever. Besides... I don't normally ask for favors, babe. Please, please?"

I could strangle her for being so persistent. "Fine, fine. But you owe me big time. And if shit hits the fan, I'm going to kill you."

She had called me because she wanted to try out this new trend and didn't want to go through it alone. How kind of her. If I came out of here limping, I would skin her alive.

The whole skittish ordeal wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would. But it wasn't comfortable, either. Was I traumatized? Probably. Would I try it again? Not in this lifetime. Was I still speaking to Kells? That was still being decided.

# Chapter Thirty-Six

After dining at The Nice Guy, Kells took Anton and I to Warwick for more drinks and for some much-needed dancing, a great stress reliever, and one that was necessary after the afternoon I had.

The décor at the lounge was rustic meets modern chichi. A lot of wood, brown leather seats, with chandeliers that reminded me of the Medieval era. There were secured lounges that were designed in striped black and white for more privacy, but overall, it rendered a cozy flair of old Hollywood ambiance. It was elegant, and the kind of atmosphere I welcomed with opened arms.

With Kells' connections, we darted past the line outside. And the moment we sat down at our reserved seating, Anton couldn't help bursting into hysterics when he found out what Kells and I had been up to.

He held up both of his hands, cursing before directing us a cutting look. "I swear to Jaweh, God, and Allah. If either of you do some shit like that again, I'll never forgive you. I'm not going to lose my virginity with some bullshit like that. I'm gay, but not _that_ gay."

Kells rolled her eyes, giggling. "Allah? First of all, you ain't a Muslim, nor are you a Christian. And as for being a Jew, you're not even a real Jew. Heck, you're not even religious. You once said that you're Buddhist deep in your heart, so none of that counts."

"Whatever, I was born a Jew; I guess that counts for something," he muttered before giddily clapping when our large bucket of selected drink arrived, along with some appetizers.

"Belvedere shots!" Plucking the bottle, I immediately twisted it open before lining up three shot glasses then carefully pouring the drink all the way to the rim. Handing them one of each, I then raised the miniscule glass, beaming. "Here's to love and friendship, and to butts that don't crack."

Kells choked on her drink while I annihilated mine with one swift gulp.

"I love you guys," Kells coughed out in amusement before she handed me her shot glass, ready for the next one.

"Holy shit balls on fire, it's my Viking!" Anton shrieked as he held his chest, mouth agape. "Oh, my gawd, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die tonight."

" _What_ Viking?"

Who? What? Where? There was only one Viking for him, and that man wasn't in Los Angeles. He had to be mistaken.

"It's him! It's fucking him!" He reached to touch Kells and I before he dug his fingers into our skin, too engrossed as he honed his eyes with laser-like focus across the room with his mouth hanging ajar. "I can't breathe. I think I need an ambulance."

"Shut up. You always say that when you have diarrhea." Kells smirked at Anton, sending him a look that assured him that he seemed less than nothing but a crazed fan.

"Look!" he hissed while hyperventilating. The guy was seriously having breathing problems.

Kells and I both glanced toward where he pointed. A few tables down, there was a man who could alarmingly be River's doppelganger. But it couldn't be him because he was out on location across the Atlantic Ocean. There was no way this man was him. It was a false alarm, but I couldn't very well tell him that. Then I would have to explain myself.

"Jesus, it _really_ is River Ellis," Kells sighed, green eyes glued at the table where his doppelganger was located. There were about ten of them, six men and four women. Scratch that, four delicately-clad hot women.

"He's so—" Anton choked up, looking close to tears. "He's so fucking perfect."

Drawing my eyes away from the group, I quickly glanced back toward my friends, who seemed too dumbfounded to do anything but stare.

"It's probably not him. For all we know, there's, like, a bunch of River Ellis look-alike. This is tinseltown, after all." Shrugging, I happily busied myself with another round of drinks. This time, I was all for a dirty martini. "Drinks anyone?" I asked, but it was like they didn't hear me.

Anton made a strangled sound. "Our eyes connected. Oh, my God, I felt a jolt of electricity."

I quickly glanced at my dear friend, wondering if he really needed an ambulance because his behavior was unprecedented. Was the man about to pass out?

Good God, if he knew the truth, he wouldn't speak to me for a month.

Kells looked stricken as she dragged her eyes away. Dipping her head close to us, she then whispered, "He got up... If he comes over here and turns out to be gay, there's something really wrong with this world. All hot guys seem to be gay these days."

Who was coming over? My heart stopped working at that point. Oh, fuck... OH, HOLY FUCK.

Now it was me in panic mode. Much to my horror, the doppelganger really was heading our way. And the closer he got, the more my heart thumped harder against my chest. I felt hot and cold all over, my ears rung, and everything seemed to be out of focus. It was my turn to hyperventilate.

Hysteria seized me so much so that I almost choked on my own saliva. And when the man in question finally stood before our table, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Hello, Cara."

There was no mistaking, it was him. No man on earth had a voice like his. I would know it anywhere. It was the sound that haunted my dreams. But it was also the echo of happiness, the light that brought in beauty into my sordid, ugly-filled world. River Ellis.

What a coincidence. The universe sure had a way of fucking with my heart.

God help me. If these instances kept on, how would I survive, let alone cope from the backlash? It was toying with me, and I hated being reminded how unstable my emotions became when he honed in his focus on me. There was no escaping him.

My eyes connected with his, and my heart galloped faster. For a brief moment, I felt like Anton, breathless and out of sorts. How did he have such an overwhelming power over me when I had known this man even before he became someone revered by the world?

Unabashed with my lack of greeting, he diverted his attention to my friends, whose eyes busied flickering to and fro. "I'm River, Cara's friend from the olden days." He stuck his hand out to Kells first to shake.

River was in his Don Juan mode, and no woman was immune. He smoldered. He conquered. You became imprisoned, enraptured; your senses arrested. There was no escaping once he locked in on you.

"I'm Kells, err, uh, Cara's friend." They shook hands before he directed it next toward Anton.

"God, I'm such a huge fan," Anton gushed as he shook River's hand. He held it like River was some kind of royalty. "I love your work—" He paused, looking like something had just clicked in his brain. "You were the guy on the phone! Holy shit balls." He glanced back at me.

Kells, who seemed too sharp not to piece the puzzle together, immediately invited River to sit with us. A part of me prayed that he would decline, but River was beyond delighted. So much so that he was sliding in the booth next to me before Kells could even finish the invitation.

"So, you guys are old friends, huh?" Kells immediately interrogated before raising her brow at me, playfully grinning toward us. Gone was that awestruck look of hers, and in came mischief and pure curiosity. She was like a retired detective.

"Yeah, from middle school. We actually grew up together," River responded without hesitation, making me wonder how much information he was willing to divulge.

"Damn, that's like waaaay back, back." Kells pasted a cat-got-the-cream kind of smiles, green eyes gleaming. "Wonder why little Miss Missy here didn't tell us she knew you. I mean, after all, we've done back-to-back movie marathons of TVM every other month."

River immediately directed his dashing grin at me, daring me to say something truthful. Instead, all I could think about was...

"I thought you were out filming in Ireland," I blurted, agitated and confused as to why he was here, sitting with my friends and having this damning conversation.

His dark depths bore into mine, arresting me. "I was. I am, but I had a prior commitment to shoot a commercial tomorrow, so I had to fly out here. This was all scheduled beforehand."

Why didn't he mention it the last time we spoke? And for the love of everything holy, when would my breathing normalize? It was maddening how my body reacted to him.

The second he heard about his favorite franchise ending, Anton became a diehard fan once again. "You're shooting the last film? God, I'm beyond stoked for that. When are you flying back out?"

Odd as it was, River didn't seem to mind the direct questions my friends threw at him. "Tomorrow night. I'm only here to shoot then bounce out again. I got in an hour ago. It's my boy's birthday tonight, so I can't skip not going out with him."

Anton batted his lashes at River, blatantly enthralled by his presence. "That's nice, but stressful. I don't do pressure like that. I'd probably curl up and die from overthinking and functioning."

"What did you think of Cara's performance in _Clover_?" Kells asked, ready to get down to the details.

River lovingly gazed at me with one of those toe-curling, hellish smiles of his. "She was brilliant. Really proud of her. She was just amazing to me. She always has been, though, so I wasn't surprised. She does everything well, just name it—dancing, singing, acting... I'm her biggest fan."

Kells' face perked up, looking like she was piecing a very curious entertaining puzzle. "So, you guys used to sing, dance, and act together, too?"

"She was the one who inspired me to act. I wouldn't be in this position now if it weren't for her," River modestly admitted as he quickly glanced at Kells then gazed back at me with those expressive eyes of his. "She's been an inspiration."

Why was he giving me credit for his gift? I did nothing but encourage.

"You were good at what you did. Everyone thought so back then. I did nothing really."

"You did more than you think," River interjected.

Anton and Kells looked at each other like they had just found out the America's nuclear codes and didn't know what to do with them.

"So, you guys were the best of friends, then?" Anton quipped, raised brows, wicked smile, and all.

River's smile dimmed a little, remembering the past. "We were thick as thieves."

I was silent, pondering his responses. Going down memory lane agitated me. Tonight was about having fun. Getting emotional wasn't on my to-do list.

Not only did I find the prospect daunting, it was stifling, too, a surefire to dampen my perky mood. However, it seemed that my friends weren't going to stop grilling River. And since they knew I wasn't forthcoming, this would be the best bet to get answers to any of their lingering questions.

"Let me see here, so you, like, sky-rocketed to fame, fell out of touch, and now you guys just reunited again? Does that mean we'll be seeing hella lot of you?" Anton fanned his lashes. No doubt the thought of seeing his so-called idol was the best news he had ever had.

River cocked his head toward me before tapping his fingers on the table. "That depends on, Cara. but I do want to restore our friendship."

Feeling bombarded by emotions, I wanted to crawl underneath the table.

"This is not the time and place, you guys. Where's the fun in this?" I asked timidly before organizing another shot to drown them all out.

"You two are too cute," Anton sighed, the wheels in his head kept turning, seeing something I wouldn't agree on. "Can we take a selfie?"

Not those again. I wasn't in the mood to project a happy smile face.

"Not with me, you can't, sorry. But I'm sure River won't mind."

Anton appeared hurt from my immediate rejection. "Oh, you're such a killjoy. Maybe next time, then. If Parker gets green with envy, then that's his problem. I tell you, that man is like borderline obsessed with you. He's gotta take some Ambien or something to chill."

Of all the times to complain about the present man in my life, it wasn't necessary in the presence of my ex fiancé. But my friends didn't know that.

I threw a pleading look at Anton, hoping he would shut up. "Anton, he's a little too much sometimes, but he means well," I reiterated the same excuse that I, myself, was getting tired of hearing.

"Sorry. Maybe it is, but sheesh... I love you, Sprinkles, but you can't deny there's some truth it. With that said, let's just have some fun tonight, yeah?"

Kells poured another drink, took a few lengthy sips before throwing her arm around Anton. "I feel like dancing. Come on; show me some hot and spicy moves."

"This fat ass can jiggle, but sure." Anton winked at us before getting pulled by Kells. "Excuse us."

Watching them leave, I then reverted my attention back to the man next to me. I was nervous like I was on my first date—full of jitters and uncertainty.

My eyes were drawn to his hand that casually rested on the table. The very sight of it brought me back to the way it used to caress me, sending me to heaven with a simple stroke, a graze.

Flashbacks were a damnable thing, most especially if he person was right next to you, larger than life.

Dragging my eyes away, I caught his impenetrable gaze, and for a brief moment, I felt something zap inside like a jolt of electricity, bringing me back to life, making me feel alive like never before.

"Hi," he whispered, vivid eyes heatedly trapping me, luring me to focus on him and his lips.

My mouth ran dry as I tried to regain my composure. "Hi."

It was the way he was gazing and smiling at me. He was being ridiculously cute, and I was instantly transported back in time. Gone was the darkness and hurt and the past that was riddled with pain and betrayal. I was simply a woman who was enthralled by a man who touched my baser instincts, making feel beautiful by a mere gaze alone.

Dark eyes probed into mine, unsubtly scrutinizing my face. "Are you mad at me for bombarding on you like this?"

I felt bombarded all right, but not for the reasons he suggested.

Sitting so close to him, my body felt electrified, awakened from a long hiatus. A physical force that never waned wherever he was concerned.

Shaking my head, I wondered if he had any idea where my mind had wandered. Then I shyly smiled at him, barely meeting his intense gaze. "No, I'm not. Anton's a huge fan of yours. He's going to kill me; I know it."

He chuckled before bearing a sly smile. "Well, I'll ask him not to. I hope that'll help."

Oh, he was really pulling out the big guns tonight with that sexy, knee-buckling smile of his.

Toying with my glass, I tried to calm my unsteady heart. "It might work, seeing that he's got a major crush on you."

He laughed. "I seem to get that a lot."

That sound of his laugh—deep, husky, sexy as fuck, God help me. It was doing crazy things to me.

"I don't doubt it." Biting the bottom of my lip, I tried to concentrate on other things, instead of the way my pussy seemed to have activated, contracting and begging for him. Yeah, my vagina literally was calling out to him. Some ridiculous psychic my pussy was.

"It's good to see you. I thought about visiting, but then I realized that I may not be welcome... so seeing you here's definitely a nice surprise."

God, he looked ridiculously delicious. I hadn't noticed before, but his hair was longer. It went all the way to his chin. The sexy Viking grunge look was driving my libido into overdrive. And no matter how I tried to deny it, it felt amazing to be feeling this way again.

If he could read my thoughts, he would most likely tease me.

But back to lucid thoughts, I recalled what he just stated about seeing me.

Not meeting his gaze, I tried to play it cool, acting unaffected by his magnetizing sex appeal. "It's good to see you, too," I murmured, while I contemplated how in the world I managed to despise the man for so long yet still reacted to him.

He inched his hand over the table, reaching for my pinky finger before loosely holding it. "Do you mean that?" he whispered, looking intently at me, searching my face.

"I do mean it." It had to be the alcohol that got made me less feisty and more compliant toward his advances. It had lowered my defenses.

"Then dance with me," he insisted with an amused expression.

My mouth went dry. The thought of having my body so close to his stalwart figure made me feel faint.

"I'd rather not," I mumbled.

Not only was I tipsy, but add on sex into the equation and it would be an intoxication I might not be able to handle. Sexual tension already crackled between us, so dancing with him would surely charge that pressure to combustible heights.

"Why not? You used to love it." His eyes sparkled, beckoning and utterly disarming.

He was right. I used to love everything about him. But thank heavens there was still a part of me that wouldn't yield.

"It's just not appropriate, given the situation."

"Ah, I'm still in the doghouse." He beamed, flashing his dimple as he scratched his stubble. His rugged, bad boy, devil-may-care look didn't help my cause. In fact, it impaired it a great deal.

When my fingers itched to touch that cute dip on his cheek, I knew I was in trouble. It was one of my varied weaknesses where he was concerned.

"Come on, River... you know why." Biting my bottom lip, I glanced away as I battled the uncontained emotions within.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Cara. It's just dancing."

"Maybe next time..."

I deeply blushed from his blatant reference to our past. I had been engaged to the man once, and he was making a light jest of it. He was being too cheeky, too flirty, causally mentioning it like it didn't trigger anything between us. He was testing the waters, hoping to gain some leverage. Did he not know that, though tough as I may appear, my clouded judgment couldn't handle him?

He inched closer to my ear, breathing me in. "I'll take you up on that," he deeply rasped out, hypnotizing, compelling my weakened senses.

"I know you will." This man wouldn't give up until he got what he desired.

River pulled back, giving me a little breathing space before pressing his lips together, contemplating as he intently gazed at me with unmasked desire. "So... where's the boyfriend?"

He was inquiring about Parker? Uh, why?

Confused, I anxiously swallowed hard. God help me. I was treading into treacherous territory, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away, either. Where was the strong-willed Cara who had shut River down the first time we had encountered each other after so many years apart?

Shut him down... _You mean, almost having sex with him almost two hours later?_ Yeah, that shut him down all right.

I was a walking contradiction.

"Parker's shooting a new film. He's not here."

His facial expression became unreadable. Mercurial almost. Gone was the sparkle in his eye and in came the inquisition.

"And he's been treating you well?"

"I guess..." It was a white lie, one I didn't want to discuss. "But, I realized that I'll be better off, so I plan to break it off with him the next time I see him." I had automatedly clued him in without thought. However, it was too late to backtrack. If there was any doubt how my body and mind didn't synchronize, this was it.

"I see," he murmured. "So, you're going to be single soon." The sparkle in his eyes was unquestionably back now.

Gazing toward Anton and Kells, I saw they seemed to be having fun without worrying to check if I was being barraged by Mister Don Juan here. Not that I needed someone to fight my battles, but it would be nice to have a mediator.

"Yep, it looks that way."

"Well, that's good to hear." He was beyond pleased. His face said it all.

"I'm sure it is, but don't get any ideas," I immediately shut him down.

"Who, me?" He blew out a breath before letting out a vigorous laugh. "Oh, I never do, petal."

I threw him a sardonic look, not buying the bullshit.

His riotous laughter carried on for a bit before he softly regarded me. "You know me; I'm just happy to see you. I thought I was hallucinating when I first spotted you. Then I pinched myself. Turns out you were the real deal, and I wasn't dreaming you anymore."

His smile was infectious, and I couldn't help returning it. Maybe it was the way he was ogling me, but for the life of me, I couldn't look away. I just fucking couldn't.

"I'm happy to see you, too."

"Do you mean that?"

"I do." I did, terrifyingly enough, I did.

His face brightened, his eyes imploring. "Thanks for telling me that. I know you do—of course I know that, we grew up together—but it's good to hear that you still do," he said wistfully.

His intonation carried a lot of weight, filled with emotions that were still too raw for me to deal with. So, what else was there for me to do?

I poured myself another shot and took it without hesitation. All the while, his eyes seemed to follow me, seeming fascinated to see me breathe.

"Your hair's longer than usual," I noted, perusing him like the perfect specimen he was.

Last I saw him, he had kept it almost in a preppy fashion. But tonight... tonight he had the unrefined, disheveled appearance combined with a lethal dose of sex on legs.

"I couldn't cut it short. My contract made sure I couldn't cut past a certain length," he informed me.

If he knew where my thoughts were going, he would probably have his hand between my thighs like he always did before. Fingers were his forte, a weapon he used to silence me.

Oh, fuck. I poured my liquid poison while he earnestly watched me. Ignoring his eyes, I downed the rest of my shot while I tried to suppress my rated-R thoughts back to PG. At the present moment, the conversation was about his hair? Right, I could do this.

"It's a small sacrifice, given the kind of success you had with the franchise." I cleared my throat, detesting myself for being so lustful, even when the situation wasn't ideal.

"Yeah, I'm very lucky it took off." His hungry-filled eyes roamed, yearning and quite beholden.

"You worked very hard; you've earned it." He had Academy nods for his role, and with a legion of diehard teenage girls after him, his fame had sky-rocketed to unparalleled heights. Parker remarked on it before, stating that it was the teenage-girl fantasy machine that fueled his career in such a way that most unseasoned actors were jealous of. Unmistakably, Parker was one of many. I, on the other hand, applauded River's tenacity and work ethic, even if I secretly hated him. I was proud of him; how could I not be? It was the best rags to riches story.

"So, how are you these days, River? I mean, apart from randomly calling your exes over the phone, that is."

His large, manly hands took hold of the bottle. Then he poured himself a shot, all the way to the brim.

"Is that right?" He grinned before annihilating the drink. His smile didn't falter before those treacherous fingers reached out to touch my hair, emboldened. Mindlessly, he twirled his fingers, seeming to love the silky texture. "Just busy... And, in any case, if you're interested, I just wanna put it out there that I'm single."

"You're not very slick these days." I laughed at his audacity, lighting up like never before. Tried as I might, my brain cells were rapidly declining with each passionate touch. How could I pull off appearing cool and collected?

"It's hard to be when my heart's hammering hard and I can't stop staring at the woman before me," he stated, turning my world upside down.

I was dumbstruck. Damn. Not only was he being beyond forward, but I was pulling out the stops to see him—I mean, really _see_ him. River, the man I hopelessly adored, the man who once vowed to give me the world, the man who I had given my heart and soul to, and the very same one who I swore to love for the rest of my life.

"You're blushing," he murmured as he slowly licked his lips, probably holding back from devouring me right here for everyone to see.

And the dimple was back again, toying with mind and overeager body. Fuck.

"How can I not blush?" What did he expect when he was so unabashedly forward?

"Don't do that... or I won't be able to stop myself from kissing you. You have no idea how hard it is to sit here and not touch you... taste you." His tongue darted out again as his eyes seared into mine. "I've missed your taste on my tongue, Cara."

"You wouldn't dare." As much as I liked optimism, I knew my body's limits. If he kissed me, I knew I wouldn't protest.

He grazed the skin on my neck with his thumb, causing my skin to flush at his touch. He knew now how my pulse raced. "I just might, but I don't wanna scare you off. Besides, I'll wait until boyfriend's gone."

"Then..." It wasn't necessarily a question as I watched him turn pensive.

Our eyes met, dancing, courting fire that would soon engulf us.

"I don't know, Cara. You tell me."

In his mind, once Parker was gone, there would be no barrier. Well, that was where he thought wrong. As much as my body wanted him, my heart didn't. I might not be able to count on my body, but I could rely on my heart. It was shut for good where River was concerned.

"I intend to be single for quite some time... or maybe just date around. I have too much going on to be stuck in a relationship. It'll take my focus off work, and in this point in my life, my career's more important than investing in something that never lasts."

He frowned, looking puzzled at my response. "You've become a cynic."

"No, not a cynic. A realist. A woman's got to be one to survive and stay sane." Not that I was a feminist, either. In my tender age of twenty-one, I intended to do more living than crying. I had never been given this much freedom in my life, and there was more to explore, to taste, to live. I wasn't going to give all that up because I was too broken to function. I had given my heart before, and the lesson it taught me wasn't going to waste.

"You used to be so passionate. You were so consumed by it that you could barely control it. Where's the fire, Cara?"

The fire was gone. He killed it, along with everything that thrummed in my veins—all my dreams, the good memories. He took the magic out of everything.

"People change, River."

"I can see that... and how well you've changed," he murmured with a tone that was heavily laced with longing that almost crushed my resolve.

Just when it was becoming unbearable to endure, my friends trotted back and joined us. The respite gave a mild attempt into normalizing my heart rate.

"Awe, look at you two. You guys look so perfect together," Anton said on a sigh before sliding into the booth. "If you little Tweety birds haven't dated yet, you guys should make a go for it, like seriously."

I almost had a heart attack on the spot.

"If looks could kill, Cara's already placed your dick on the chopping block." Kells giggled before grinning at me.

My friends, as much as I loved them, just didn't have a filter. They had a knack for teasing me at the wrong time. It's like shit-on-Cara radar just for giggles.

River, on the other hand, seemed not to mind. He was grinning from ear-to-ear.

"It's my good bud Phoenix's birthday. We'll be leaving in a little bit to head back to my place; why don't y'all come?"

"No!" I blurted, while Kells and Anton simultaneously trilled the word, "Yes" in their ever so cheery tone.

"Why not?" Anton queried. "It'd be fun. Besides, don't you wanna catch up with River?"

Catching up, ha! If only. River would annihilate me the moment he had a chance.

"Private parties are too fun to say no to, Cara," Kells chimed in, beating me two against one.

By the looks on my friends' faces, there was no mistaking that they would be dragging me, anyway, permission granted or not.

"I don't know... It's been a long day." I was holding out hope.

Sensing my discomfort, River took my hand and gave it a light squeeze, skyrocketing my blood pressure. "It's close by. If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave whenever you want. I promise."

He hadn't let go of my hand since.

# Chapter Thirty-Seven

His apartment was located in Beverly Hills. He owned the entire top floor that came with an infinity pool on the deck. It was a two-floor, glass-to-ceiling, all white and silver color schematics that reminded me so much of those homes I had seen in magazines. There weren't a lot of baubles around. It was a pristine, intriguingly cold, spotless environment. The polar opposite of the home he invited me to before in the valley.

I directly observed through the open glass as my friends mingled with his, pouring out drinks as they sat on the recently lit glass fire pit that contained azure glass pebbles before taking out guitars and the smoking greens.

"Can I get you anything, petal?" River asked as he tightened his hold on my hand.

Even on our ride here, he hadn't let go. It wasn't due to my lack of trying. I did try to pull away, but he wasn't letting me go and I ran out of excuses to keep fighting him off. I chose to save my energy and pretend this didn't bother me an iota. His friends merely raised their brows when they saw us, so I easily assumed this was a common occurrence.

"So, this is your fuckboy lair." I scanned the room before my eyes landed on his face. The man seemed too highly amused by my statement.

"You're not making this easy for me, are you?" River laughed as he dragged me toward the bar. With the use of his free hand, he managed to open the dual wine cellar and pulled out a bottle before placing it on the bar. "Here, hold and steady it for me please."

His avoidance in regards to my question was evident. This was undoubtedly the place where he took his women.

Ignoring that, I threw him a nonchalant look. "If you let my hand go, you won't even need my help. How's that for a helpful tip?" Fuckboy lair definitely had a nice ring to it.

River cocked his head to the side, giving me an amused look. "Now, why would I do that, woman? Come on; we used to be good at team effort." He was persistent underneath all the beguiling smiles.

"I don't seem to recall, but whatever," I murmured as I held the base of the bottle, steadying it as he drilled the opener into the cork.

"Ta-dah!" he enthused as he swiftly drew the cork out of the way. "See? Teamwork." He beamed at me before pouring the velvety red liquid into the stemmed glasses.

Teamwork my ass, I thought wryly as I tried to pull my hand away from his hold again, but he was too quick in catching me. River was being incorrigible.

"People are going to start thinking stuff if you don't let go of me."

He spun me around to face him before he lifted my chin with a finger, clashing my eyes with his formidable gaze. "And I care about what they think because...?"

_Because..._ "I'm still with Parker, and I don't want any gossip to start saying that I cheated on him with you."

"I kissed you; that didn't count?" he pressed, unrelenting. "But if it makes you breathe easier, you can count on my friends for secrecy."

"I'm sure I can. I'm sure they do it for you all the time, too," I bitingly retorted back. It was the way he delivered his words that grated me to no end.

He studied me a moment before uttering something ridiculous. "There's no need to be jealous, Cara."

"I'm not jealous!" Like hell I was. He could screw whomever he wished. I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

"I hate it when you lie to me." Those dark orbs penetrated into my soul, profound and merciless. "I've known you almost all my life. You forget how I know you better than you know yourself."

"I'm not fucking jealous!" I vehemently hissed as I tried to yank my hand away from his tightened hold to no avail. The man was merciless. It was driving me insane.

River seemed unperturbed with my protests. "I'd kiss you right now just to settle this, but I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself if I do that."

_That_ got my attention. "You promised me you wouldn't."

"I did?" His face lit up before bestowing me that mind-blowing, heart-stopping, evil smile of his. "Hmm, I don't remember making any promises. But anyhow, let's go outside and join our friends."

"You go join them. I need some breathing space." This time when I pulled away, he loosened his grip on my hand. I could feel the inquisitive gaze of my friends.

"Don't go too far, petal. I want to see where you are from where I'm sitting," he murmured before kissing my forehead.

"Gee, I'll try very hard to please you, Your Highness," I retorted in a hushed tone as I watched him take a seat in one of the loungers before pulling one of the guitars and placing it on his thighs.

As confused as I was, I obliged him by strolling toward the pool before sitting on the edge and dipping my feet into the cold water. I was in his line of sight and in close proximity to hear his conversation. Jokes. Music. And Pokémon Go.

I snickered at the last bit. It was great to see this side of him in a relaxed environment. Take away all the glitz and glamour, he was still the River I had grown up with. He cemented this conviction when I heard the first strum of guitar. I didn't even have to look up to know that it was him and not Phoenix.

_Settle down with me..._

_Cover me up..._

_Cuddle me in..._

He seductively crooned "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran. The deep throaty sound of his voice belting out a song, a sound I hadn't heard in ages, transported me back to the besotted girl I was. There was something about him singing... like he was reaching my soul, the very essence of me, mingling it with his. It's within the words, the sound, the depth of his tenor that managed to affect my stone-cold heart.

When the second the song ended, I let out a breath. Maybe it was the alcohol, because I suddenly felt hot all over.

Carly, Manu, Phoenix, and Kells got up to gather more refreshments, but as Manu rounded the pool, Phoenix gently pushed him toward the water, hence making him lose his balance. Fortunately before he was thrown into the water, he succeeded in yanking the Phoenix with him.

Shrills of laughter echoed the second Manu decided to get out of the pool and drag his girlfriend Carly with him. Kells went next, fully clothed, which was odd because she didn't seem to mind. While Anton watched on, I didn't see the creeper that threw me, but before I surfaced the water, River's steel band of arms wrapped around my body from behind, pulling me against his hard, rigid body.

"River, what the hell!" I screeched as I pushed his shoulder, somewhat enraged. "I don't have a change of clothes!" Quite honestly, I was more concerned about his hands on me.

"You just looked so lonely here all by your lonesome. I needed to remedy that." He grinned, pulling me close and kissing the tip of my nose.

My world stopped for a brief moment before a loud thrashing and a string of chortled laughter came from Kells, making me twist my head around to watch her interact with Phoenix. They seemed to hit it off, making me frown with concern.

"Phoenix isn't married, is he?" As much as I loved my friend, no one could deny that she had a knack for getting involved with the unavailable.

River's face contorted before giving me a skeptical look. "What a weird question, but no, he's not married. Well, not that I know of."

"Good, good." I let out a sigh of relief. I would hate for her to get hurt again.

"Okay... That's good." He beamed before cupping my cheek. "You look so beautiful. It hurts to look at you sometimes."

If only that were true.

I laughed before rolling my eyes. "You mean, I look like a homeless wet rat."

"Oh, Cara, sometimes it's okay not to be so modest all the time," he stated before reverting his eyes toward the rest of the folks lounging around the fire pit. "Come swim with us, Anton? Lauren? Rock!" River tried to coax his friends to join the drowned rats crew. They politely declined.

"You always like it wet, don't you, River?" Mint, the gorgeous woman with the gloriously long, blonde tresses snickered before sipping on her drink. I detected jealousy in her tone. Typical and not at all surprising.

"Is something going on with you and that little missy over there?" I suspiciously eyed the man close to me.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I swear nothing's going on. Well, not in my point of view, anyway."

"Mind emphasizing that?" Why did I care? It wasn't like I was going to be a part of his world. Besides, this was just one-time. Again, what did I care?

"Give me some credit, Cara. If I had anything going on with her, why would I bring her along knowing that you'll be here as well? I wouldn't dare insult you like that."

"Because you don't care about such things." Since when did he become so sensitive to my feelings? He was a bastard for letting me quietly suffer while he trotted along with his female cohorts.

"On the contrary, I care a great fucking deal."

Our eyes clashed; one filled with purpose, the other filled with uncertainty. His heavy-laden gaze was formidable.

"Whatever. I need a drink." I quickly swam toward the edge of the pool before pulling myself out of the water and immediately heading toward Anton, who was conveniently sitting next to the drinks.

"Can you mix me something good?" All the ails in the world could be temporary relieved with alcohol. Though some were rolling joints, I wasn't tempted to go that far. Yet.

"Sure, I got you, Sprinkles." Anton poured whatever he fancied into the glass tumbler, ganja at his lips. He seemed to be enjoying the newfound company, an odd case for him since he didn't like mingling with new people.

"Here," he said gleefully, handing me the concocted drink.

"Thanks," I mumbled before I took a sip and immediately coughed in protest. "This bitch is strong. Holy smokes, my throat is on fire! I think it just burned a hole in my stomach." The hellish mixture was toxic but I didn't mind it—not tonight. Not when I needed to ignore the fact that I was at war with myself, while River patiently watched, biding him time before going in for the kill. And God help me, he was going for the kill.

"You know how I like 'em, sweet cheeks!" Anton sassily winked with those heavily glazed eyes of his before taking a good puff on his neatly rolled joint. He was definitely getting baked and loving every second of it.

"You okay here, hon?" I mumbled before I downed half of the lethal beverage.

I noticed River strolling toward me, sporting a worried look on his roguishly handsome face.

"Woman, I think it's time to fill your stomach with something more nutritious," River interrupted before taking my drink and dragging me away from everyone. He took me back indoors, planting me in one of the white stools in the kitchen. Then he headed toward the fridge and took out ingredients to make a BLT.

"I'm not hungry," I bemoaned.

There was always something exceptionally erotic when a man dominated in the kitchen. And curiosity won out. River intrigued me still

"Maybe not, but indulge me, anyway," he insisted as he placed a griddle on the stovetop.

"Why are you being this way? It's insane." It was his way of showing that he cared, but I just wanted to reassure myself. Again, why did I bother?

"I just want to take care of you. What's not to understand?"

"You're unreal." Him treating me this way brought it home how much things had changed between us.

He shrugged, unruffled. "Say what you like; I'm feeding you either way. If you wanna make this hard, that's all on you."

I hotly huffed, "Fine, whatever. I'd do anything to just shut you up."

"That's my girl." He cheekily winked at me before popping a sliced tomato in his mouth.

I wasn't _his_ girl, but I didn't voice that out loud because he would have some raving argument about it. Therefore, I simply became his lone audience, watching the chef place strips of bacon on the skillet, toasting bread, slicing veggies, before slathering a hefty amount of mayo and a dot of mustard on the bread. He made one for each of us.

Mumbling my thanks, I took a knife and halved the sandwich, knowing fully well that I probably wouldn't be able to finish it entirely, not when he was sitting next to me. The man made me nervous, and eating while anxious wasn't particularly enticing to me.

After taking my first bite, I was actually pleased. "This is good." When was the last time I had BLT? It used to be my favorite.

"You always loved it."

Sigh, any more references about the past? He seemed to have a long list of them. Was tonight about excavating skeletons? The thought made me want to vomit.

"Tummy full. Now let's get you warm, ey? I'll put your clothes in the dryer."

"Okay, I think that'll be nice." I wasn't cold or anything, but having my clothes stick to me wasn't appealing.

"I'll take you upstairs to shower, and you can change into one of my shirts for a little bit."

Why did that sound so sensual in my ears? Something was wrong with me.

"Yeah, that sounds fine," I tried to mumble back, ignoring my ever-present nerves.

Leading the way, he strolled toward the glass stairs. He then led me toward what I presumed was his bedroom.

He had a Japanese style bedframe. All white with a hint of navy blue. It was quite a room. and for reasons I didn't want to acknowledge, my heart stampeded against my chest.

Downright anxious, I tried to avoid his passionate gaze while I was dripping wet in the middle of his bedroom. Distracted, he strode into the bathroom before stepping out, donning only his Calvin's on. Blazing hot, a walking epitome of muscled flawlessness and with a chiseled face that would make the gods weep. He was indisputably the most beautiful human specimen I had ever seen. Perfection personified.

While I trembled and quaked, River barely glanced at me as he proceeded toward the coffee table where my purse was located before pulling my phone out. I viewed him with trepidation as he then strode purposely toward me, handing me the phone. Color me confused.

"What are you doing?"

"Call him," He calmly stated, unblinking, unwavering. He just stood there, patiently waiting, watching the wheels turn in my head.

My throat constricted as I timidly peered at him. "Call who?"

"Parker."

# Chapter Thirty-Eight

The ball dropped. It crashed. Deafening. Piercing.

Call Parker... That suggestion didn't bode well with me.

"And why would I do that?" Did I miss the memo? Was I his puppet now?

"Guessing by the way you're looking at me, Cara, it's probably for the best that you do."

Smug now, was he? Well, he could think again.

"I'm not going to have sex with you, River," I said shakily. Just stating that very fact made me shudder from head to foot.

"I know," he stated. "But as they say, it's better to be safe than sorry."

He exuded confidence, and it irritated the living daylights out of me. River could be right, but Parker would know that I hung out with River, and that would definitely enrage him. It was best to settle this now before it blew up in my face.

"Just so we're clear, I'm not doing this for you." Taking the phone from his hand, I dialed Parker's number.

It only took one ring before I heard a loud growl, a clear indicator that the man wasn't at all pleased. I didn't blame him.

"Hey, it's me—"

"Girlfriend of the hour! Good of you to call. You have videos all over Instagram with a bunch of guys and River Ellis exiting a bar. I don't fucking know what the devil's going on, but _end_ whatever it is, or I'm going to fucking leave you, Cara!" he screamed into the phone, making me inwardly flinch.

"Nothing's going on." _Yet._

He growled again. "I don't give a _fuck_ to be honest. All I know is you're mine! You're fucking mine, and I don't appreciate you spending time with other guys. Shit happens, and I don't want my authority to be challenged. Do you hear me, Cara? Don't fucking embarrass me, damn you!"

His authority challenged? What the fuck was he on? This guy was borderline delusional.

"You know what? I've dragged this for far too long, and I didn't want to do this until I saw you next, but I can't wait. I'm done. It's over, Parker."

"It can never be over! It's not over until I say it is!" He went ballistic, growling as he screamed expletives. Each word made me flinch from his violent rage.

Fuck, this man was beyond nasty. How the hell did I not see it? Seeing how unhinged he was, I didn't dare trust him not to hurt me. He would probably strangle me or something.

"In case you didn't hear me properly, let me say it again. _It's over_ , Parker."

"How dare you?" he bellowed, clearly beside himself. "How fucking dare you? Do you think you're that hot? You're nothing but some z-list actress who's willing to sleep with River Ellis to get more publicity. Do you know how many chicks are after me? You're going to fucking regret this, Cara. You can't get anyone better than me!"

_Yeah, I highly doubt that._

"Bye, Parker." I ended the call, appalled from the whiplash of his madness. I had never encountered anyone like that. Even in the height of anger, I was never that vile and horrid toward River. I understood where he was coming from, I did, but he was being so unreasonable. What the hell!

Still reeling from that entire ordeal, I gripped the phone as I stared at it, wondering why I liked to be in a state of denial just so I could hide from the plain truth.

"That bad, huh?" River spoke behind me.

I had forgotten where I was for a second.

Letting out a melancholy sigh, I winced before spinning around to face River. "That's putting it mildly."

River thoughtfully scrutinized my face before brushing a soft stroke along my cheek. "If it's any consolation, you're better off without him."

"Yeah, I knew you'd say some lame shit like that." It was inevitable that he would jump in and take control of the situation. That was typical River. He did the same thing when he found out my first kiss didn't turn out to be with him.

"You know me so well." He chuckled, warming my heart a little when I spotted the once-adored dimple on his cheek before he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. "Let's get you inside the shower. I don't want you to catch a cold in your wet clothes."

When he said I needed a shower, I didn't expect him to join me. "I can shower without your help, River," I said. "I didn't pin you as a stalker, you know."

"Trust me a little, okay? There's no need to be nervous, Cara," he whispered as he slowly stripped me of my clothes. "I've seen you naked a million times."

Trust him? Why wasn't I fighting back? Where was the deep-seated scorn in my heart? For two years, I never wavered, but right this moment, I was stripped of all the hate and animosity, becoming the woman I was before the man I had once agreed to marry hurt me.

I was paralyzed as he took off my clothes. He didn't utter a word, but I saw his throat bob like he was as nervous as I was. Apart from that small indicator, he resorted back to being mercurial as took care of me.

If I was going bonkers before, I was wrong, because the second River took off his Calvin's, his eyes trained on mine, pulling me in, mesmerizing me, I felt unhinged. His honed chest, sculpted abdomen, and the beautifully protruding proud cock me salivate like a dog in heat.

Holy cock. Was he always that enormous?

I swallowed hard while trying to unglue my eyes from the massive thick intruder. How did I imagine to survive this arousing ordeal? He was literally making things difficult for me to think, let alone breathe.

Shutting my eyes for a brief moment, I felt faint from the powerful tug of desire thrumming throughout my body. Desire so potent it was nothing but mental. It was like fighting the pull of two magnets attracting its counterpart.

"Let's warm you up," he murmured, holding my hand as he led me toward the marbled shower with the hot spray already running, gradually steaming the glass.

I didn't need warming. One gaze at his thick, lengthy member was all I needed to remedy that problem.

I didn't dare glance south again.

Clearly out of my element, I was too overwrought to properly function. So, when he gestured to shampoo my hair, I barely managed a nod to let him do as he pleased. He then soothingly lathered my body with soap, being careful not to touch my breasts and other sensitive areas. That was some sort of consolation. He probably understood the turmoil I was in, while he seemed composed, as if he had done this a million times.

He then proceeded to carefully wash my back, softly trailing the base of spine, tracing the soft curve of my back before reaching my bottom. He paused then before taking a sharp intake of air, while I anticipated his next action.

"Cara..." he rasped out before I felt his lips against the back of my neck, hovering. He inched closer against my back, and I shuddered when I felt his cock graze my butt cheeks.

There was no denying that I was sex-starved wherever he was concerned, but I wasn't sure I wanted it. Thinking and acting were two different things.

"Please don't," I begged.

"I know." His breathing went ragged before he slowly spun me around to face him. "I'm just testing to see if you want me as I want you. You've proven me wrong."

Compounded with conflicting emotions, I kept my mouth shut. It was blatantly apparent that, though he tried to smile, there was sadness in his eyes. It was most likely from his dented ego from my somewhat rejection.

Keeping my mouth sealed was the only way I could keep myself together. I didn't trust myself to reveal the turmoil I was experiencing, because I didn't want him to use it against me.

Both freshly showered, I wore his shirt while he donned a new pair of black Calvin's. I was tempted to ask for a pair myself since I had nothing underneath the shirt, but words deserted me when the man switched on the fireplace across the room, lights off while playing Niia's "Last Night in Los Feliz" in the background.

"How about that dance, petal?" he asked as he treaded toward me with his hand out and a pleasing look on his face.

I watched the flames dance on his face, highlighting his dark beauty. He was so beautiful it ached to look at him without having my heart pang with such longing it was unendurable at times.

Giving him my hand, I cautiously gazed at him. "You've become such the seducer, Romeo. Were you always like this?"

That remark earned me a soft cackle before he pulled me in a sweet embrace. "Only with you, my love... only with you." He held me like I was the most precious thing—securely, gently—as we slowly swayed to the music.

My eyes closed as I rested my cheek against the side of his neck. I was transported back to the first time we had danced. Just like this. It was the same fated night I gave myself to him on his sixteenth birthday. The memory was bittersweet. It gnawed on me, leaving me vulnerable and unguarded.

"I'm never leaving you. I'm never giving you up, not for a second time. We're entwined you and I. Maybe not as lovers, but as friends, as family. It's not negotiable," he uttered with such conviction that it almost brought me to tears.

We vowed that no matter what, we were family. A promise I had tried not to honor.

"I'm terrified..." Of him and what he could do to me. He knew my weaknesses, and I couldn't trust him not to use them against me. If I couldn't protect myself, who would?

"You're not alone. I'm terrified, too, but I can't go on living a life without you in it, Cara. The past two years were hell. I love you, and I know you're not willing to be mine, so I'll settle for the second best. I'll take it. I don't care if it's killing me. Someday, you'll understand that my love for you has no conditions."

Hot, heavy tears rolled down my face, my resolve slowly dissolving. We had separately come so far, yet somehow fate brought me here, to him.

"Just hold me, please." No words could describe what was going on between us, and I sure as hell didn't want to decipher it.

"I'm sorry for letting you down. I swear it won't happen again," he reassured as we got lost in our embrace, lost in the spell that once held us together. I reveled in his smell, his body heat, and being with him again. "Everyone's drunk; why don't you stay with me tonight?" he asked softly as he smelled my newly washed hair.

What time was it, anyway? If I agreed to stay, would he behave like a gentleman?

"Don't you have that shoot in a few hours?"

"I do, but can you stay, anyway? I know it's asking a lot. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"If I wake up before you get back, I won't prolong my stay."

That brought a smile to his face. "Fair enough."

So, we danced, bewitched as nostalgia engulfed us. Time ceased to exist. And when the song ended, we ended up cuddling like it was the most normal thing in the world. Shutting down my mind, I relished the moment as my nose pressed against his neck while his arms secured around my hips.

"This feels like the old days, doesn't it? I've missed this," he murmured, lulling me into submission.

Enveloped in his arms, I had forgotten how it felt to feel secured, all the strains and troubles of the world a distant memory. This... This sense of being present, of living in the moment, was all that mattered to me.

River always gave me security, a home. He was my sanctuary through the storm. And I could admit that I could easily fall back into the old routine. However, my pride wouldn't let me stoop to that level of pathetic-ness.

Falling in love with River would end me. I wouldn't let myself go down that hellish path, even if my heart was pulling its might that way. It was calling out for him, but I was headstrong and resolute. He wasn't going to make a fool out of me twice. Once was enough.

Looking up at his face, I felt a twinge of regret, of helplessness, and a sense of loss. The once bright future we had once dreamed of all gone.

He stared at me as if in awe, gaze filled with wonderment and yearning. I didn't know what came over me, but I brought my lips to his, brushing them slowly, cautiously, before pulling back. Call it absentmindedness or a moment of madness, but it had felt right.

"Goodnight," I mumbled before pulling away.

"Oh, no. Fuck the goodnight. Come here," he groaned out before hastily rolling me on my back, pinning me before ravishing my lips as he effortlessly situated his rock-hard body on top of mine. Ready to conquer. Set to obliterate.

"Fuck..." I whimpered at the magnificent feel of him dominating me. There was nothing like a commanding man. He was so unbelievably skilled I melted as he stroked and cupped whatever he wanted. He fevered my body.

For hours, I had ached for this, and now that I was getting a taste of him, my body wasn't letting up. My legs parted to accommodate him as our kiss deepened. I was so horny that I began rubbing my pussy against his hardened cock over his briefs.

"God, River, how can you feel so fucking good?" I never remembered it like this—where I was out of control like a frenzied woman who hadn't been touched for centuries. Our hunger brought us to this pinnacle of combustible energy. It felt unhinged. Uncontrollable. Unstoppable.

"Touch me, Cara," he implored, fiercely tugging at my nipple and extracting a harsh sound from me.

I sought below as I pushed his boxers off his thighs. My avaricious hand eagerly sought out to stroke his thick, silky length, and I shivered upon the impassioned contact. Had he always been this massive? I remembered us making love, but hell... I had forgotten how his colossal size achieved to fit inside of me. Parker had a decently sized member, but this... this was Armageddon proportion.

"Jerk it hard, baby," he grunted between kisses before hissing my name in vain as I obliged him, trying to balm my worries from his immense size and concentrate on pleasuring him.

While one hand busied and focused itself on his length, the other stroked his scrotum, tugging, massaging to his delight. River began to thrust, hitting my clit with the tip of his fat cock. The more he did so, the more essence my pussy secreted, lubricating his cock further.

The exquisite sensation made me sob against his lips. I was delirious, out of my mind with need. He was relentless, merciless, as he began to fuck my sensitized clitoris. The motion made me heady and ready to be ravaged by him. All of my inhibitions flew out the window, and all I could focus on was the sweet, mind-inducing, visceral experience he was bestowing me.

"Want this cock to fuck your sweet cunt, Cara?" he grunted as he slid his length through my moistened folds.

Holy gigantic cock! My nails dug into his shoulder as he carried on his sweet torture. "You're fuck—" I screeched when the pressure of the swollen head pushed against my entrance, partially impaling me. My mind went blank and all senses honed in on the sweet constriction that strained to stretch my wet channel. I began panting, almost panicking at the maddening feel of him throbbing. "I don't think it's going to fit," I rushed out, heaving in protest. That monstrous thing would be the death of me.

River paused before tenderly lifting his face to scrutinize mine. "How's that even possible, Cara. You've been sexually active," he stated in disbelief before trying to read my contorted expression.

He had no idea. Yeah, I did have sex... _once_ , just once in two long years. But I wasn't going to undermine his claim. That would make it seem like I had been pining for him.

"Maybe you're just too big, River. Not every guy has a porn star dick like you do."

He snickered before briefly kissing my lips. "Or maybe you're just too nervous," he whispered in my ear, hot breath teasing my skin and making my nipples harden. "Close your eyes, relax, and let me pleasure you." He trailed his lips downward until he reached the sacred spot he used to worship. "God, you smell and feel the same. Just like a fucking petal. Sweet, silky, and just fucking beautiful," he breathed out before letting the tip of his tongue flicker against my tender nub.

My fingers dug into the sheet as I tried to hinder myself from screaming. "River," I moaned in delighted frustration. My body came alive, and I was too overwhelmed to know what to do. Had I always been this responsive? Good God, my body was on fire while free falling at the same time. I wanted to scream, scratch, and then scream some more.

"Baby," I sobbed in agony when I felt his finger dip into my core as I continually secreted juices for him to lavish and devour on.

I deliberately lifted my hips for a short reprieve, but he was hell-bent on torturing me, forcefully flattening his palm against the top of my mound, grounding me into the mattress to constrict my movement, making me endure the onslaught of what his digit had to offer.

The rapid impact of his finger rubbing against my G-spot sent me into a deep spiral of defenselessness. My body bucked and screamed for mercy as the hot wave of an orgasm sent me into a quivering mess.

Hot tears prickled the backs of my eyes as I rode the surge of electricity shuddering through my body. It was no wonder I was once addicted to this kind of drug. It was potent, raw, and intoxicating.

"I've never seen anything as beautiful as you, Cara." There was a smile to his voice as he left soft trails of kisses against my body before reaching my neck then slowly making love to my lips.

I was too dazed from the whole ordeal that it took me a moment to respond back to his kisses, and when I did, in the very depths of my soul, it reminded me that this was where I belonged... with the man I had grown to hate.

"River..." I whimpered as I felt his cock nudge my entrance again. But this time, he carefully entered me without hindrance, gradually inching himself inside my wet core. He was halfway in when he couldn't prod farther.

He took a deep breath to calm himself before he cupped my cheek. "Do you trust me?"

I knew he was going to do the deed, and it felt like I was that young virgin again, ready to give herself to the man she loved.

"I do. But this doesn't change a thing, River." This was sex, not love or reconciliation. I had to get that out there, just in case he thought otherwise.

His depths darkened before I felt his powerful hand grapple the side of my hips. "I love you. Nothing you say or do will ever fucking change that." He then withdrew his cock and thrusted back into my pussy with such potent force I cried out in pain and pleasure. I felt it scrape against the opening of my cervix.

He was beyond consumed with lust, pacing himself before taking my lips once more.

"I love you," he grunted in vain as he slid in and out of my wetness, stretching me wide. "I don't care how many guys you've fucked. My heart's still yours."

He had this whole spiel while I was going through another wave of orgasm. How in the world did he expect me to rebut that?

River kept murmuring words, but nothing registered, too overwrought with the copious amount of back to back orgasms before he finally reached his.

"Cara, baby, I'm coming inside you."

He screamed my name as he came inside my womb, the experience so profoundly intense and so mind numbing that, by then, I was literally a breath away from blackening out.

"Sweet dreams, my little petal." He kissed my forehead before tucking me around his body. We fitted like a glove.

A soft smile played across my lips before sleep took me into its warm embrace.

# Chapter Thirty-Nine

I had no dreams; no nightmares to speak of. My body felt sated, floating, unburdened, all my worries gone, a foreign feeling.

Where was I? The question bubbled from my foggy brain as my eyes slowly peeled open. The brightness of the room made my head spin a little. The room was unfamiliar. And why was it so bright? It took a good minute or two before my sight became accustomed to it. Then I realized I was naked in bed with barely any sheet to cover my most intimate parts. I groaned as I rolled onto my side. And then it hit me. Hard.

Last night.

River.

"Damn." Images of us rutting like some sex-starved idiots flashed before me. I could still feel him throbbing inside my pussy, pushing his way into my body. God the size. How in the world did I survive? "Damn," I stated again in pure and utter disbelief.

Recalling last night's events left me wanting. I wasn't sure how that was possible since I remembered how he had woken me up before leaving to shoot the commercial hours ago.

River had whispered into my ear, apologizing for taking me again and how he couldn't stop himself. What was most shocking was the fact that I had actually told him he could take as much as he wanted. Hopefully, he didn't take that invitation too seriously.

Sex had never been better, but for us to continuously do this... Well, I wasn't sure I was ready to face the ramification that arrangement would entail. It was too much too soon.

What time was it? I groaned in frustration as I tried to get up and felt the immediate sting between my legs. And right on cue, I felt his semen slowly trickle out.

"That's what you get for being such an uptight horn-ball," I muttered to myself as I pedaled toward the bathroom to wash and freshen myself up.

Once the tedious task was done, I plucked up the shirt he had lent me last night that lay abandoned on the floor before darting out the door.

The entire place was silent. Did Anton and Kells leave already? Apart from the distant echoes of the traffic below, there was no other sound.

My eyes scoured for my purse. Where had I left it last night? I couldn't recall. Well, the sex bit I vividly remembered, but apart from that, the recollection was sparse.

I had no phone, no money, and had no means to get home. Now what?

There should be a house phone somewhere. Maybe I could call Anton or Kells to come get me, if they weren't hungover enough.

I trailed toward the kitchen when I heard the sound of the key unlatching the door. Paralyzed on the spot, my throat bobbed as I peered toward the entrance as it gradually opened and in came River with a dashing smile, donning simple jeans and a white shirt. I had never seen a more gorgeous sight.

My heart skipped a beat as I watched him stride toward me.

"If the guys were here, I wouldn't be comfortable with you walking around with just my shirt, naked underneath it." He laughed before placing a few paper bags down on the counter. He then spun around to cup my face and gave me the most sensual kiss, unhurried and thorough. The kind that momentarily erased the past. "I brought some essentials."

My ears perked up before my sense of smell finally kicked in. _Food_.

I could smell the divinity of the food. Too much late-night activities had made me beyond ravenous.

"It's your favorite—waffles and fried chicken." He winked at me before guiding me toward one of the kitchen stools for me to station my butt. Then he pulled out two large boxes full of hot, yummy goodies. His smile reached his ears before he gestured to feed me. "Time to feed your grumbling tummy."

"How'd you know it's grumbling?"

"In all the years I've known you, you never said no to food."

Damn, I was little miss Hoover. "Gee, thanks for that. I was just recently chastised about my eating habit and how I should 'tame it' or no agency will hire me."

"You're a fucking goddess, Cara. Don't let anyone fuck with your head like that. That's pure bullshit."

He was being too generous. Goddess, I surely wasn't.

He threw me a confounded look, as if he could read my mind. "Woman, do you look at yourself in the mirror? You were gorgeous when I met you at eleven, but now..." He took a deep breath. "Now you're just... well, breathtaking and absolutely lethal."

I coughed, almost spitting out my food. It was endearing, but he was going way overboard with compliments.

"Okay, now we can definitely establish you're crazy."

Brushing hair off my cheek before securing it behind my ear, he gazed at me with love in his eyes. "You've always downplayed how beautiful you are. It's what I've always loved about you... Always so modest. And even now, you're still grounded and down to earth."

"So are you."

"Aren't we quite the pair?" He chuckled before taking a bite off the waffles.

River was perfect. The unwelcomed thought that popped out of the blue almost choked me as my eyes honed in on his luscious lips eating, chewing. And if my mind kept straying this route, I'd be in more trouble than I already was. Shrugging, I tried to play it cool by intending to resort back to safe territory. "How was the shoot?"

"It went great. I think it's safe to say that I won't be doing any reshoots." He did a commercial for one of the leading cell phone carriers in the US. It was a major deal.

"I could kiss you for this," I sighed before taking another bite off his fork.

Setting the fork down, he slid my stool toward him before setting me right between his legs and cupping my face. "I'd take more than a kiss..." he muttered before taking my lips, slowly kissing me before the pace deepened.

As the seconds ticked by, we became consumed with each other while his hand busied itself by searching between my parted thighs.

There was no denying it; I wanted him again. But after last night's ordeal, I was sore. Even still, my pussy became wet the moment he kissed me.

"You can't..." Parting from his kiss, I gave him a sheepish look. "Nothing will fit even if you try."

"Swollen?" His brow rose before that gorgeous smile flashed, his notorious thumb finding my sweet button, circling it slowly and arousing me to surrender to his ministrations.

"Very." Out of breath, I began to bite my lip as I tried to hold back a moan. "River..." I closed my eyes as my lips parted, panting as my senses honed in on the sensation he was weaving for me.

"You're making me so fucking hard," he groaned, losing control before he surprised me by plucking me off my stool and placing me on the marbled countertop with my legs parted for his viewing pleasure. "My turn to eat, my beautiful Cara." He situated himself on the stool once more then dipped his head to satiate his appetite. His tongue was on a roll, literally, heedlessly.

Food definitely forgotten, I screamed, moaned, and begged for him to release my body from sweet torture.

"River, please—"

And just like that, he liberated my body from its agony and granted me an earthshattering release.

Completely dazed, I tried to level my elbow so I could properly see him smugly beaming at me. "You're so naughty," I huffed out, feeling lightheaded from the torment he put me through.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just couldn't resist." He slid my still parted body toward his before slowly lifting my face so he could thoroughly kiss me. "Did I tell you how much I love you today?"

Oh, the man had a way of showing me just how much. This was the old River I knew—insatiable and unfailingly generous lover.

"Where are you taking me?" I mumbled as he began to carry me over his shoulder.

He playfully connected his large hand to my butt cheek. "I'm taking you upstairs, my love. And if you think I'm going to have sex with you... Well, I'll prove you wrong. I just want to be with you before I leave."

As swollen as I was, a part of me was disappointed that he didn't want to have sex. I mean, after he woke my body, I wasn't ready to let it rest just yet. Not that I would openly suggest otherwise.

Once we reached the stairs landing, he proceeded to take me into his bedroom, situating me in the middle of his haphazard bed. Instead of joining me, though, he strode toward the opposite side of the room, where I suspected his walk-in closet was located.

"One sec," he said before completely disappearing from my view. After a loud thud and some shuffling, he reemerged with a large, white, thick envelope.

"What's that? A sexual contract?" I teased.

His smile broadened before using that said envelope to smack my foot. "No, silly. Although, I wouldn't mind one if you agree to it." Joining me in bed, he handed me the daunting thing, piquing my curiosity. "This is for you."

Brows furrowing, I skeptically eyed him before carefully taking hold of it. "You're making me nervous." More than that, actually. There was an eerie feeling deep in my gut that wouldn't subside as I cautiously opened the damn thing. It contained papers—documents, titles, and a copy of a will in case of death. River's will. "What the fuck?" I gasped as I gazed at him accusingly. "Are you dying?" If he was hiding something, I was going to rip him apart with my bare hands.

"Don't look so sad, babe. But no, hopefully death won't be for the next few decades." As explanations went, he failed.

My eyes flickered toward the scattered papers on the bed. "But..." My heart pounded against my chest. I felt lightheaded as I waited for him to give a clear, proper answer.

"Both homes I have, they're half yours. And in case of my death, you get everything—mutual funds, cars, savings, the houses, and some rental properties."

Horrified, I stared at him. "But why?"

He thoughtfully gazed at me before bestowing that signature gorgeous smile of his. "Because you're the only one I care about. But most of all, you're family, and I love you. I work hard so that someday you'll enjoy it. I had these drafted last year. I always thought of you, even when you weren't in my life, Cara. I hope this proves just how much."

"What if I decline it?" I didn't want to be the one reaping the fruits of his labor. We weren't together anymore, and even if we saw each other as family, it just wouldn't be right. "This is all too much..." Too much, too soon.

"You don't have a choice. it's already set in stone." Seeking my hand, he took hold of it before bringing it to his lips. Placing his arm behind his head he then brought out entwined hands against his chest before moving his head to the side, glancing at me. "On a lighter note... Phoenix wants me to get into music. We've been playing and toying with some new songs for the past year, but last week, he's been pushing me to get into it more."

Phoenix was a DJ, but apparently, he was willing to do more than play and party at clubs. But crossing over could be catastrophic for River.

"How do you feel about that?" Music was and will always be his first love. He once told me that it was the other love of his life, apart from me.

"I'm still on the fence about it. Making an album requires one hundred percent dedication."

He would have to take a hiatus in the movie industry. He had already made four blockbuster films and another one on the way. He already made a name for himself. Maybe it was the right time to indulge in what he loved most.

"You'd be amazing. I know you will. Your voice is beautiful. It's raw, has depth, and it has a way of connecting into one's emotions, to one's psyche. Not a lot of artists have that gift, River. You're obligated to share it to the world."

He cocked his eyebrow at me. "Obligated?" He poked the side of my hip. "What else do I have to do for you, my petal? I love hearing you praise me."

I was sure he did.

"You know what I mean, weirdo." I couldn't help it. I just had to kiss him, for reasons I dared not explore. "You love music more than acting; we both know that."

"I do. I love both, but I can't juggle it together." He pondered before letting out a laborious sigh. "I'm in talks for another franchise after finishing TVM, so we'll see."

It was endearing that he was letting me in on his life this way. This was a behemoth move, and I was pleased he shared this moment with me.

"I really think you should pursue it. You might never get the chance to again. You're so known now that your fans would adore you more if they know how sexy your voice is." Sexy didn't begin to cover it. I swooned each time he sang like a total besotted idiot.

"Oh, yeah? So, you think my voice is sexy?" He rolled me on top of him before kissing me, unrestrained.

"That came out wrong. You know what I mean," I said sheepishly while he tightened his hold on me. Lovingly gazing at his face, I felt warm all over at the mere thought that I might fall in love with him without even realizing.

"Cara, stop blushing like that. It always gets me hard," he pleaded before playfully stroking my inner thigh, beyond tempted to satiate his hunger that vividly showed in his eyes.

Licking my lips, I wondered if he was going to break his sentiment earlier about not having sex.

"I'm sorry. You know I blush so easily."

"I know... Trust me, I know." He snaked his other hand inside my shirt, seeking the soft mound of my breast, softly grazing it with the pad of his thumb. "I want you, and I know you won't resist me if I try to take you, but not today, petal. As crazy as this sounds, I love just spending time with you. Nothing could trump sex, but this is the second best, and I'd rather wait until I see you next time."

Since when did he become so good at controlling his sexual desires? The old River would only cease when I could barely walk to the bathroom.

"I have to fly out soon. Why don't you come with me and drop me off at the airport, then my driver will take you home?"

We were reaching new territory, unchartered and definitely unfamiliar.

"I can get Uber. I don't mind." Maybe getting away from him would clear my thoughts. I hadn't been thinking straight since he took off his clothes last night in the bathroom.

"I want to spend every second with you before I take off." He took my hand and kissed each of my fingertips. "Also, I quickly dropped by a shop before coming home to get you something to change into. I hope you don't mind."

He went shopping for me? Now that was unheard of. River was always so attentive, but never to this extent.

"How'd you figure out my size?"

"Eyeballed it?" He smiled sheepishly before rolling me over to my back, him now on top of my willing body. "Now, woman, will you please spend these few hours with me before running off to your place? I won't see you for another three weeks."

If he weren't being so cute, I would have probably declined him. "All right, if you really want me to."

"Oh, I always want you, too."

So, that's what we did. We spent time together in bed, catching up as he described the set in Ireland and how his life had been without me. He also softly reprimanded me that I hadn't been to see Mattie since I had left. River saw her as a mother figure, too. But unlike me, he had been attentive to her needs. He had told her to shut down the fostering after she suffered a mild stroke. He paid off her house, gave her monthly stipends, and hired a round the clock caregiver to make sure she was well and cared for.

Time passed and before we realized it, it was time to get ready to leave for the airport. River brought one of the bags he came in with earlier, packed with clothes that were somewhat my size. There was a selection to choose from, but I settled on simple cutout jeans and a sleeveless crop top before putting my hair in a loose chignon. My face was makeup free, but thanks to the wild sex, my rosy cheeks made up for it. Leaving my wet clothes behind, I slipped into my nude Loubies before seeking out River, who was busy tapping on his phone.

"Everything okay?" I asked timidly before kissing his cheek. I could get used to this close intimacy with him.

Dropping his phone on the bed, he gave me his undivided attention through a mind-mending kiss. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me happy."

Squashing the tremors of doubts that sprouted out of nowhere, a deep ache settled within my heart. Peering through my lashes, I envied the love that shone freely in his eyes. "I didn't do anything, River." Last night happened because I succumbed to him on a primal level. Hopefully he wouldn't see it any other way.

"You did, my little petal, more than you'd understand."

I understood more than I was letting on, but since my actions had more than baffled me, for the time being, I was willing to let bygones be bygones. We had great, mind-blowing sex. That was all.

The ride to the private airstrip was seemingly pleasant. River was busy with emails and making short calls to the production team in Ireland, which left me in a sweet, thoughtless reverie.

He turned to me when the car halted at our destination. The jet was waiting for him on the tarmac. "Please promise me that you'll take care of yourself?"

"I will."

"I have to go." He softly sighed before giving me another toe-curling kiss. "I love you, Cara Quinn."

Damn. "River..." I began but he immediately shushed me.

"You better get used to me telling and showing you just how much. I know you're never going to give me a chance, but oblige me for a little bit longer."

His statement made me clutch my chest before I nodded.

He then lightly tapped the side of the driver's headrest. "Drive safely, will you, Joe? Take her home safe for me. Thanks, man."

Joe dipped his head in response. "Roger that, boss."

River let out a chuckle before thanking Joe once again then reverting his attention to me. Cradling my cheeks between his palms, he lightly pecked my forehead. "Bye, beautiful."

My heart fluttered for the last time today before kissing him with everything I had. "Bye, beautiful," I murmured the same sentiment.

He made a thunderous laugh before winking at me.

Solemn in my lonesome, I watched him stride toward the jet then climb the steps two at a time before finally disappearing from view.

I had a few weeks to figure out what to do next without him clouding my thoughts with bombastic sex and earth-shattering kisses. But I must say, I had never felt more alive in my life. River touched something deep within. He had awoken the fire that been buried in the scarred depths of my soul. For that, I was grateful.

# Chapter Forty

"What happened to you and River?" Anton asked as we drove to see Kells on-set for The Cold Conflict music video.

It had been two days since we had seen each other. Yesterday was filled with sleep and much-needed rest from my overexerted night with River. It had been ages since someone really fucked me. Fucked me so deeply that I could still feel him throbbing, pounding inside my walls. I knew I wasn't hallucinating, but good grief, the frustration at night was unbearable. I longed for him. But what he lacked in presence, River called and texted whenever he had free time.

It was dangerous that we were reverting back to our old ways after I had reinstated time and time again that I wasn't interested in rekindling our relationship. However, the man was unyielding.

I glanced toward one of my best friends and considered his question. "What do you mean by that?" Everyone witnessed I disappeared with him in his bedroom, but I wanted to pick Anton's brain before stating anything. Discussing my love life wasn't one of my strongest fortes.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you, sprinkles? His eyes were on you every time I looked at him. Like Christ, I've never seen anyone like that. He's not one of your, like, secret stalkers, is he?"

I had stalkers, let alone secret ones? Ha.

"Well you see; River's sort of like... you know... my first love, my first boyfriend." Damn, that was hard to say out loud.

"I don't know if he got the memo 'cause there's no mistaking how much he still wants you. We all have eyes, and we all agree that he is crazy for you."

"Yeah, but I'm not treading back to memory lane. Not like that, anyway. We're just friends now." Hearing that made it all the hollower. Did I really believe that? Fuck, River was trouble.

Anton almost hit the brakes as he stared at me, askance. "Friends? You _just_ want to be friends with River Ellis? Not only is he one of the biggest stars today, but shit, Cara, have you seen how perfectly perfect of a specimen he is? How can you resist when he looks like he's about to devour your sexy, beautiful pussy on the spot?"

"No, he doesn't!" I exclaimed, aghast. River was always going to be that kid I grew up with and no some mega star that people saw him as. Besides, nothing could change the past, even though I wanted to erase all the bad memories when I was with him. "He betrayed me, Anton. That's why it's never going to work."

"He cheated?"

And that was where the argument lied.

"He says he didn't, but there were just too many women. And when Hailey Mavis came into the picture, I just couldn't handle it." To this day, that woman could rile me up like no other. My stomach coiled at the memory of her all over him, kissing his cheek and what of it.

"Oh, her. Yeah, she's so cunty." Anton threw me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, baby cakes. I'm sure that must've been hard to witness."

He had no idea.

"I'm over it. I mean, I moved on from all that." Lies. Lies. Lies. Hearing that wretched woman's name made me want to gouge my eyes out.

"Don't you want to give him a second chance, though? I'm sure this time will be different."

"No, I don't believe in second chances, Anton. River had one, and he royally blew it. I have nothing left to give him."

"But that's really extreme." My friend gazed at me as though I had just announced I was the man behind Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

"River's life _is_ extreme. I can't compete with it. Do you know how many women they try to pair him with? You know how it is here. Everyone's a model or tries to look like one. I can't put myself through all that bullshit. I've been there, done that. No more." Or the insecurity and the uncertainty that came along with it. It took quite a lot for a woman to put up a lot of the twisted upheaval and mind fuckery. I had retired from that. My life was peaceful these days.

"Well, that's a shame." He sighed. "I really was hoping to see you get married and shit."

I stared at him in horror. "Let's not ruin the morning, okay? I need coffee before you can continue grilling me in the hot seat."

"You've got yourself a deal, babe." He tapped on the steering wheel before glancing toward his navigation. "We're almost there. I'm actually excited about this."

"So am I." I beamed as my thought drifted toward how the day would unfold. This was an exciting experience, and I was ecstatic that our friend decided to let us in on it.

The set was in one of the Malibu's caves. With the sun barely just out in the horizon, the beautiful set was breathtaking. The place was lined with trailers, tents, and a lot of lighting. While the sound check crew busied themselves, we scoured for our friend, who just happened to be in the finishing touches of the lead in the band, Will.

From a few feet away, my eyes were glued to his side profile. The British rock star didn't disappoint. He was gorgeous, tatted up, and had danger written all over him.

"I like to stare at him and all, but how about we check out the food? I need coffee and a few muffins to stop scaring people away with the roaring riot inside my stomach?" Anton grumbled as I heard the loud angry sound from his belly.

"Jesus, let's go before you pass out." I giggled as I grabbed his arm.

As excited, as I was to be here, nothing could beat the thought of being back in the cozy, soft confines of my bed.

"Shhh, silence! I kill you." He glared at me as we trotted toward the tent where everything we needed was located.

I giggled. "Oh, stop it, Achmed 'the dead terrorist'." It was the playful banter we always used. "Can I take you to one of those The Art of Shaving places? I'm sure they'd be thrilled to take you on."

His eyes widened. "I've always wondered what it'd be like, so sure. You're driving me there and taking me to lunch."

Well, wasn't he a bossy one.

"Thank God. It's time to let go of Yogi the Bear." I was more than willing to dish out whatever needed to get him primed to his old self. I knew he had self-esteem issues since he had gained more than fifty pounds in the past year. Hopefully once I had sorted out my schedule, Anton and I could take some serious butt-kicking classes to get in serious shape.

While Anton busied himself with the blueberry muffins and pain au chocolate, my eyes roved to more pressing matters, such as refueling my body with much needed coffee. Pouring the freshly roasted blend in my Styrofoam cup before adding two packets of raw sugar, I carefully took a sip, loving how it faintly burnt my tongue as it travelled down my throat.

"Grr... What the bull? Why's my mother calling me this early? Nothing good will come out of this." Anton groaned as he stared at screen of his phone.

Anton had a peculiar relationship with his mother, but what did I know about mothers? I never got the chance to know what that felt like.

"I'll meet you back at Kells' tent." Waving at him, I made my exit as I cautiously sipped my hot beverage when I unceremoniously tripped over a piece of equipment.

I cried out from pain and shock, about to lose my balance, when I felt a strong hand steady me. How embarrassing and out on set, too. What the hell was going on?

"Are you okay?" a man asked, almost leaning into me.

Still in a daze, I looked up at my savior. Hazel eyes zeroed in on me. Beautiful and quite extraordinary. _Oh my_ , I thought as I tried to catch my breath.

"Yes, I think I'm okay," I nervously croaked out, disconnecting from his gaze.

"I'm Kyle Mathews." There was faint amusement in his voice. Most likely because I seemed like a train wreck.

"Cara Quinn." God, he was so hot. I couldn't think straight. And why was he staring at me still? What a total disaster.

"Can I get you anything, Cara Quinn?" he asked.

"I... uh... no. I'm hot. No, I'm cool." WTF? "Sorry, I haven't caffeinated yet; that's why I'm such a hot mess." God, strike me with lightning now before I embarrass myself further.

His smile disarmed me, and I was becoming a total creep who couldn't properly function with a gorgeous male before me.

His perfect a smile deepened, and by that time my mind turned into mush.

"Are you working on set?"

Trying my damnedest not to act uncomfortably, I licked my lips before shaking my head. "No... I'm just a fan. Well, that and my friend's in the glam squad."

He made a boisterous laughter, catching me off guard. "Don't let the band hear you say that; they'll never forgive you."

Who was this man and why had he taken over my ability to think? He was gorgeous, but there was something more to him. He had substance.

"Are you working with crew?" Maybe he was part of the video folks. He surely wasn't part of band.

"I manage the band. I'm here to check out if things are running smoothly. You know, temper tantrums and hissy fits. Hardcore rock star stuff."

It was my turn to chortle. The guy had a sense of humor; I had to give him that.

"It's nice to meet you, Kyle, and thanks for saving me from falling into the gravel."

"Listen, I know this might seem too forward, but what the hell, I'm taking my chances," he stated before seeming unsure, licking his lips as he glanced back at me. "Do you want to have dinner sometime?"

"Sure, that'd be nice."

Less than seventy-two hours of being single, and here I was, agreeing to a date. But how could I say no to Kyle Matthews? He was just the kind of guy I went for. Sexy, rugged, funny, and downright delicious to look at. Which made me more wonder why I dated Parker in the first place. The man didn't cross some on the list, but maybe it was because I didn't go out much. Well, it was high time I remedied that problem.

# Chapter Forty-One

"Argh! It's so fucking good to hear you voice," River said cheerfully from the other end of the line. It had been over four days since I had last seen him. "How's everything going on your end, petal?"

"I'm good..." I dawdled as I nakedly shifted in bed, contemplating if he would be offended for what I had to tell him next. "Well, there's this thing... You see, I'm going on a date tomorrow."

Kyle Matthews hadn't wasted time securing a timestamp on our dinner date. Not that he had to try hard. I was too excited to even dream of letting him wait.

"You move fast." River let out a whooshing sound. "Are you sure you're ready to date again?" He sounded so wounded I almost took my words back. Almost.

He was appalled to realize that I moved fast? I slept with him hours after breaking it off with Parker. Speedy didn't even cut it. But given our present predicament, I understood why he stated it that way. It was part concern and part injured feelings.

"I'm sure. Kyle seems nice. Besides, it's just dinner."

"Kyle..." He cleared his throat. "Dinner. Well that's good, I guess. I just want to put it out there that I support you, and that as long as you're happy, I'm happy, too."

This was a different tune. "The old you wouldn't put up with anything like this."

"Well, this is the revised, upgraded version. People change, Cara, and I hope in the long run you'll see that I have."

"If you really mean that, then thank you. You have no idea how relieved I am. Back in the day, we'd be in the middle of a sparring match. But I'm ecstatic that it doesn't have to come to that."

Whenever he had seen a guy from school try to flirt with me, he would go ballistic. Countless times he had engaged in fights, and that was one of the reasons that no one fucked with me in school. The kids who dared would meet River's wrath. Yeah, he was such punk and a kickass bad boy, but he was mine. And together, we conquered.

So much for the past. This guy had apparently had a major attitude makeover. It saddened me to see that part of him gone. At the same time, I respected his new outlook in life. It had taken courage to change, and that was something to be commended. I guessed this time he had meant it when he said he was staying in my life, circumstances be damned.

"Wow, I feel like you're growing up this time, River," I stated in jest, hoping to navigate our conversation to a lighter tone.

"Ha, funny, ha. Seriously, though, I may not sound it, but I just want you to be happy."

He was hurt, his voice told me so.

"River, it's just a date. I didn't say I was going to marry anyone."

"Don't joke like that. It's not funny to me."

I sighed. We were in a bizarre situation, but I had made my feelings clear from the beginning. Getting back together wasn't on the menu.

"We're okay, though, right?"

"I am what you say I am, Cara."

"River, you're not making this easy."

"Never worry about me, babe. I'll be okay, I promise."

"Thanks," I said, wanting to drop the subject.

And so we carried on discussing music and the songs he had been working on. He composed a new one the other day, and he was letting me hear it for the first time. It was just like in the old days, and I couldn't help relishing these moments, holding them close to my heart.

We were breaking a new ground, a bond that was stronger than friendship. It made me realize how amazing it was to have him in my life again. I didn't want to lose this closeness, this bond.

# //

Kyle chose the restaurant Nobu in Malibu. He had insisted on picking me up, but I wanted to meet him, just as a precaution in case I needed a speedy exit. He graciously waited for me before the maître d' showed us our table.

He whistled as his eyes roved over me. "You look insanely stunning."

My ensemble consisted of a champagne colored strapless mini-dress with my hair piled high, showcasing the delicateness of my neck and the soft, striking angles of my face. Pairing it with matching simple pearl studs and choker, and finishing the look with a rose gold strappy Prada heels. I dressed with the intention for this specific reaction. Hopefully, the night would transpire in the same manner.

Our table was on the patio overlooking the vast Pacific Ocean as the backdrop, exuding romance. Given that this was our first date, I appreciated Kyle's effort in making sure that everything was pleasing.

I never doubted the man played the field. He certainly looked the part. Kyle Matthews was gorgeous, confident, successful, and had that particular air that only self-assured men had about him. He made me nervous, but it was the good kind of nerves.

In the past two years of joining the dating pool, I had never been this thrilled to go on a date. It couldn't be helped. Kyle was quite a catch.

We were both in a jovial mood as we ordered our appetizers and entrees. It was right after our first sip of wine that Kyle revealed something bizarre.

"You remind me of someone I used to know," he stated as he glanced at me. "You have the same personality, and that beautiful smile of yours." It was difficult not to trace the melancholy echoes in his tone.

In my curiosity, I was prompted to ask, "What happened to her?"

Kyle smiled, but it never reached his eyes. "Sienna? She's married now and expecting, but once upon a time, I meant everything to her."

"Then why—"

"I cheated."

"Oh, you're _that_ kind." Why didn't this revelation surprise me? Sitting back, I waited for him to carry on.

"It wasn't intentional, but it happened, and I couldn't take it back. It's so cliché to even say it, but it's true. I was young and stupid."

He sounded just like River, but the fact remained, no man was a saint, claiming to be in love or otherwise. To them, love was a fleeting moment. A selective emotion granted to a woman who made them feel the most, but the second their attentions were averted by another, that love was no more.

"I was cheated on once, and it hurt me like a motherfucker."

Kyle gave me a considering look. "What happened to him?"

"We're friends." In a way, River was.

He took a lengthy sip of his wine, studying me. "He wants you back." He didn't question it. He merely stated a fact.

Since Kyle began the conversation by being truthful, I had to give him the same courtesy.

"Yeah, he does, but no. I can't possibly—"

"That's what Sienna did, too. She could never bring herself to trust me afterward, and before I knew it, someone filled my spot who loved her just as fiercely as I did. I lost my chance the second I fucked up."

"Such is life. We have to eventually move on." Whoever this Sienna was, I felt for her and hoped that I would have the wherewithal to keep River's intentions at bay.

He beamed in the most charming of way before he raised a glass before making a toast. "To new beginnings."

Now that was something I could totally agree on.

Raising my glass to him, I repeated, "To new beginnings."

I found it refreshing to speak to someone who didn't know anything about me. I could speak freely without needing to hide.

For the entire duration of dinner, he gave me such entertaining stories about the craziness of his life. He worked almost daily. He worked hard and played hard. I found myself enthralled by him and was curious to know what made him tick and what he was made of. He was forthcoming about his past misgivings, his weaknesses and strengths, and I had to applaud him for his honesty.

We completed the date with a promise to make another soon. Although he tried to cajole me in continuing our night to his house, I had to decline, believing it was better to take it slow. Besides, I didn't want to immediately involve myself with anyone.

Kyle gave the impression that wasn't in a hurry to be tangled in a serious relationship, either, since he had been scarred. Therefore, he reluctantly led me to my car before kissing me goodnight on the cheek. I drove off smiling, knowing this would be one of many dates I would share with Kyle Matthews.

I came home still sporting that very endearing smile on my face, until I found someone at my doorstep. Beyond surprised to find River waiting, my shock was more to the fact that the rogue man seriously looked like the Viking on screen who everyone worshipped. Hair loose, scruff and all.

"What are you doing here?" I exclaimed, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Holy mighty fuck! I was beyond mesmerized that I overlooked the gargantuan assembled bouquet consisting of hydrangeas and carnations in his grip.

Those deep lustful eyes took me in licentiously. "We have one day off, and I figured that instead of resting, I might as well fly out and see you. I can sleep on the flight." Dark depths trained on me, unmasked, unguarded, with unparalleled desire, before he extended his hand to give me the gorgeous blooms. "I had to see you."

"You're crazy," I whispered with an unwavering smile.

"We've already established that long ago," he cheekily responded before he took hold of my other hand and gestured toward my ensemble. "But look at you—wowzah. Is Kyle on his way over? 'Cause if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't fucking let you out of my sight."

"Guess it's a good thing he's not like you. You've already covered the stalker in my life; I don't need another one." Sliding out of his loosened grip, I searched for my keys before lodging it into the keyhole and unlocking it.

"Oh, yeah? I'm a stalker now?" He cackled as we stepped into my apartment with him trailing behind me before I felt his strong arms secure around my body. "Come here," he roughly commanded, the playfulness in his tone gone as he pulled me toward him before slamming my body against his muscular, chiseled chest. "Missed me?" he asked gruffly as he nibbled on my earlobe.

"A little?" My body shuddered as his tongue zoned in on spots that were highly sensitive. I could feel my scarce lace thong soaking.

"Only a little?" He laughed before he smacked my bottom cheek then palmed it, beginning to massage it in soothing, circular motions. "You're going to get it tonight. I'm not going to hold back this time."

Oh, fuck me now. How did he accomplish to make me into this hapless woman in one heart fucking beat? It was his specialty.

Biting my bottom lip, I enticingly gazed at him through my lashes. "Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise." He unceremoniously pushed me against the wall with his hot breath on my lips. "Don't be coy. I know you. You want me, but you won't openly admit it." The wet tip of his tongue grazed the bottom of my lip, tasting me, those lethal libidinous eyes held me in a trance. "How often do you touch yourself while talking to me? Your voice changes, and I can easily detect the soft hitches and the stifled moans." He cupped my drenched pussy before hastily pushing the scrap of thread aside to probe farther into me. With the use of his middle finger, he parted my slit, gliding his soaked digit in my essence, leaving me panting against him. "Do you touch yourself like this, my Cara? Do you imagine it's my cock rubbing your pussy? Tell me... Tell me what you want."

Rendered speechless, my pulse accelerated to another pitch. Profuse with embarrassment, I wondered why he hadn't said a damn thing before? Each night it became a ritual because his voice sent me back to that night he unapologetically ravished me. I had lusted for him before, sure. But this time, my carnal appetite demanded more. It was like a terrifying mountain of fire that he alone could satiate and extinguish. His lovemaking was unmatched, and I was addicted to it.

Previously I had denied the notion, but as I stood there, defenseless against his ministrations, it became blatantly obvious that my body couldn't resist him. Like it was designed to do as he pleased, obey his orders, his commands, and at his mercy. Never did it decline his wishes. Not once. And it didn't plan to in the near future.

"Tell me what you want, my Cara," he demanded in the most compelling manner, before I felt that notorious digit impale me deeply, threateningly, with one purpose in mind.

I groaned in frustration, knowing he enjoyed prolonging my agony. "You know what I think." My lips quivered when I felt him thrust his hips against mine, his hardened member fully aroused.

Thinking about where that engorged cock would soon be made my mouth water. I could feel its strength, its glorious steely power ready to rule and conquer my body.

"I think about you, lost in me, within me, fucking me with that thick dick of yours. I dream about the way you stretch me as you glide within my wet walls, giving me sweet pain, the greatest pleasure I've ever known. It's pure bliss to feel your muscular, sinewy body on top of me, taking charge of what's yours."

He groaned as his forehead met mine, breathing against my lips. "Is this body really mine, Cara?"

_For the time being._

Cupping his cheek, I sought his lips. "For now... it's yours to take... for as long as you want."

"Christ, Cara, I can't get enough of you. Every waking moment and in my dreams, it's you I think about."

My heart ached with his confession. "Show me. Show me how much you want me."

I heard his pants drop to the floor as I panted for his touch. Then I felt him bunch the scrap of my thong before yanking it out of the way. The fat mushroom head of his member grazed my abdomen as he watched me, primal and ready to dominate his prey.

"Beg for my cock, babe."

Nearing the end of my patience, I groaned in protest. "God, River, just fuck me already! Fuck me good, hard. Fuck me like you mean it."

"Okay, sheesh," he managed to chuckle before those hungered lips lit me on fire and those large hands lifted me against the wall, lining his cock against my entrance.

He pummeled his length so hard I was almost out of breath. He filled me with every inch of him, breaking through the tightest of my barriers as I clung to him like my life depended on it.

"Tightest cunt I've ever fucked," he grunted out as he ploughed me harder, thrusting in deeper as I moaned against his lips.

A few more strokes, and I shattered with my release. He, however, had just begun.

Not before long, he was carrying me before he positioned me on the wing of the couch with my bottom in the air, situated righty to perfectly angle against his sex. Before I could utter another word, I felt his palm slap my pussy. The impact made me groan in excitement, whetting my appetite for more. He then gently cupped it as if to soothe it, but when he felt my juiced drip glazing his hand, he hissed my name out.

"I'm going to fuck you all night until it's time for me to leave, I promise you." I could feel his breath hitting my sensitive mound, and before I realized what he was doing, his hot tongue dipped into my core, gliding it from front to back, flicking and licking both entrances until I cried out for him to end my torment.

Granting me a short reprieve, he wrapped his knuckle around the ends of my dress then forcefully yanked it, bending my yielding body as he ground his dick into my wet canal.

"Grip your pussy around my cock," he demanded with urgency. "God damn, baby. Yes, just like that. Harder. Choke it. Grip it harder."

I did as he asked, using what little strength I had to make him come. And just when I thought I couldn't bear it any longer, he warned me what he was about to do before I felt the thick ropes of his orgasm filling me, his cock throbbing as he made small thrusts, milking his member until he emptied every drop inside of me.

"Did I hurt you?" he huffed out before he slowly pulled out of me then planted a soft kiss on each of my ass cheeks.

A faint smile formed on my lips before I shut my eyes. "No, but if you don't take me to bed, I might do you some harm."

He chuckled before granting me my wish, plucking me out of peculiar position and taking me to bed. Sighing with utmost delight, I felt him tread toward the bathroom before he brought me a warm wet towelette and gently cleaned my nether region.

"Thank you," I murmured as my face dipped onto the pillow.

I felt his lips against my forehead before he whispered, "Don't ever thank me for taking care of you, baby." He then slid into bed, gathering me in his arms. my face resting against his chest.

"Can I ask you something?" he murmured over my head as he gently and aimlessly stroked my hair.

"Hmmm?" I garbled, trying to stay awake.

"I heard Kells' joke around with Anton and how he was 'technically' a virgin."

Even in my state, I had to snicker as I wondered what River might have thought when he had heard it. It was an inside joke.

"Oh, that. Well, he's not a virgin, per say. He's had sex with women before, but never with a guy. He's holding out. I don't know why. To clear any confusion, he was in denial and didn't come out until a few years ago."

"Ah, that explains it." He laughed before pulling me closer to his body.

"Can I sleep now?" Shutting my eyes, I had never felt so sated in my life. Intense orgasms were the best medicine to put one to sleep, guaranteed.

"Really?" He blew out a breath before grabbing his phone on the side table. "I gotta jet out in six hours, babe. I was hoping to stay up late with you. But never mind me; you go get some beauty rest."

He was being slightly incredulous. "Gee, thanks, you have yourself to blame for taking all the energy out of me."

"You're welcome, my beautiful love. I hope you don't mind if I take you while you're sleeping. I intend to do it, anyway, but thought I'd give you a heads-up."

"What's the point? It's not like you haven't done it before." He did as he pleased with my body, with or without permission. The moment he took my virginity after a prolonged wait for me to be ready, he had been unstoppable. Therefore, this admission didn't surprise me at all.

He kissed the top of my head before whispering how much he loved me. "Sleep well, my beautiful Cara."

I wasn't his, yet what was the point in arguing? My body was exhausted, and my eyes could barely stay open. Besides, I loved waking up to him taking temporary bliss between my thighs.

And I woke up several times as he raged into my body, taking it harder as he chased his guttural pleasure, fucking me until he screamed my name. Then, right before he left, I recalled him whispering into my ear that he would see me soon and declared how much I owned him and his heart.

Gradually, I began to gain consciousness. The throb in my pussy became more apparent as I reminded myself how this came about. In the midst of reaching for my phone on the side table, I was confused to find a basket. Then my eyes diverted to a note that rested against it.

_Morning Sleeping Beauty! Thought you might need some complimentary 'after good sex kit.' =) I had Joe run to CVS before picking me up. I'll call you when I land._

_Love you,_

_R_

"Cocky bastard." I laughed at his audacity before my eyes caught sight of the largest bottle of Aleve, ice packs, and other items he deemed necessary for me to recover from his tumultuous onslaught. The man had a charming sense of humor. I always loved that about him.

Just as my mind began to drift away, my phone beeped, indicating a message received. It was a message from Kyle.

_Thanks for dining with me last night. When can I see you next?_

Here lay the conundrum. I couldn't have both, and as much as I wanted River, Kyle represented a clean slate, a new relationship without the past hanging overhead. A very distinguished difference I had to account for.

Life was short, and I was going to start living it.

Que sera, sera.

# Chapter Forty-Two

It had been a week since Addison gave me a call and announced that I got a small part in the movie I had twice auditioned for. I hadn't minded that it was an Indie film, all I cared about that I was given the opportunity to act and I will give with everything in me. As long as I could do what I was passionate about, that's all that mattered.

So here I was, just recently landing in Vancouver before I was whisked off to where the location was set. After being introduced to the assistant that would be helping me, Ginny showed me to the trailer that was assigned for me. Makeup was due in ten minutes so I had that stretch of time to gather my bearings before planting myself to be beautified for the set. Setting my sights on the pasties and refreshments gathered on the table, I was surprised to find a beautiful floral arrangement. My very favorite kind. Plucking the white envelope, I had an inkling to whom it had come from.

_I'm so proud of you. Have fun on set._

_Love you forever and ever,_

_River_

A loud sigh passed my lips as I stared at the sight before me. River had been courting me, sending gifts and little mementos to win my heart again. I had confronted him few days ago about what it all meant, but he easily denied it. He insisted that it was his way of loving me.

When he inquired about Kyle and the progress of my relationship with him, I never denied him any information. It was a subtle way of proving that sex didn't mean we were in exclusivity. Regardless, River remained unmoved.

I had a week of shooting before I was jobless again. _Clover_ wouldn't shoot for another month and a half, so I had a lot of time on my hands. For the time being, I lavished on being out on location and doing what I wanted the most in the world—acting.

# //

A week later, three hours after I landed, I had Kells pounding on my door with my dinner in hand. Anton then soon came to catch up with the ins and outs of our lives. Nothing seemed to change on theirs, except of Kells' thriving relationship with Phoenix. I had never seen her happier. She had that glow about her, the one they pointed out as "the honeymoon" glow.

"Gee, guys, thanks for the food and all but can we resume the reunion tomorrow since I'm crazy tired?" Rest and sleep were quite scarce since my work kept me awake, reading and rereading my lines, making sure I got it right. I had an obsessive personality, one that came out in full-force once I began acting.

Anton chewed on his steak before giving me a considering look. "You can cover those dark circles in a flash, you're coming out with us tonight. And heck it's Friday night. It's illegal to stay home when you're under twenty-five."

"Please?" Kells chimed in. "I know you've been working hard all week but Phoenix has this thing tonight and I promised to drag you both with me."

Oh, damn. Sometimes it was hard to resist friends when they became persistent. In a way, I could make this into my advantage.

Giving Anton a pointed look, I beamed at him. "I'll go if you promise to come with me. I've enrolled us for boxing/mixed martial arts classes. We apparently start Monday."

His eyes buggered out, like the idea of exercising offended him. "You did what?"

I couldn't help laughing at his ghastly expression.

"Don't be a baby. I'm sure it'll be fun. You're doing it with Cara." Kells gave him an encouraging look. "How bad can it be?"

"Laugh now, but if I end up in the hospital, you two will be footing my bill."

We both agreed to his condition before we finished our meal.

I took my time getting ready, and after a long hot shower, I took a half an hour nap. It felt as though I had just shut my eyes closed before my alarm shrill next to my ear.

"The things I do for my friends," I grumbled as I reluctantly slid off the bed and sleepily stared at my wardrobe. "Coffee. I need caffeine first."

Leaving my closet ajar, I marched toward my kitchen as my phone rang, flashing River's name.

"Hi," I yawned before sliding a mug underneath my Keurig machine. "How's it going?" Another yawn came out of my lips before I sighed at the sound of a dripping coffee.

"Hello, sleepy head. Did I wake you, babe?"

The sound of his voice soothed me.

"Wish I was sleeping, but I'm making coffee. Have to go out and support my friend."

"You don't have to if you're too tired. I'm sure Phoenix will understand." Of course River always ensured my wellbeing before anything.

I appreciated his concern, but I had already given my word.

"I'll go for a bit, then I'm coming back home to hit the sack."

My coffee made, I stretched to grab the sugar container and took a spoonful into my drink. Taking a careful sip, I immediately felt the good work of caffeine kicking into my system.

"Anyhow, as much as I love speaking to you, lover boy, I gotta go and get ready for the evening."

River groaned. "Call me when you can, yeah?"

"I promise."

An hour later, my friends and I were in one of Hollywood's hottest club where DJ Phoenix was playing. Her relationship with Phoenix blossomed. Scared as she might be, she was hopeful this might be the first real relationship she had ever had.

Kyle had been meaning to see me, but I couldn't indulge him just yet since I had already given my word to Kells. Besides, he and I have been in constant communication. Soon, I promptly promised him.

We had our own private lounge along with Rock, Manu, Mint, Carly, and Lauren. Kells seemed to be getting on with Phoenix's friends, and I couldn't help smiling as she broadened her wings as she let boyfriend into her life.

Three shots in, I was happily floating in my buzz when Anton led me to the dance floor, ready to bring the house down with his dancing skills. We were in the midst of a popular dance song when Kells joined us before they began pointing at someone behind me.

"Do you care for a dance, beautiful?" a deep voice boomed behind me, making me pause.

I spun around to face the man. River. I almost lost shit upon seeing him as he madly grinned at me.

"What! How?" Beaming from ear-to-ear, I had to squash down the notion of kissing him on the lips. As much as I ached to do so, I just couldn't when my friends were in full-view. "You're back!" My excitement hadn't ebbed away, my eyes unable to get enough of him.

"I am," he stated as his eyes roved my face, longing and yearning to touch and kiss me.

"We just spoke. You never said you were home," I rambled, still shocked to see him right here, in the middle of the dance floor. "Don't you have another two weeks to shoot?"

He kept popping out in and out of my life while filming. Wouldn't he get in trouble? I hoped not. As much as I was glad to see him, missing each other could wait. River was a passionate man and tended to be compulsive when his heart ruled over mind.

"I'm leaving again tomorrow." He tried to hide his smile, seeming a little embarrassed for his spontaneous actions. "It's a crazy idea, and I'm hella tired, but I want to see you even for a day. It's worth it. You're worth it."

Damn. "You're insane."

He looked amazingly delicious, too. The scruffy long hair look was really doing wonders to my libido. Hell, it was hard to control my urges around him. When would it end?

"About you, yeah, there's no question about that." He leaned over, and I felt his breath teasing my ear, spreading wild fire of goose bumps all over my body. "May I kiss you, Cara?"

This was challenging for me, too, but there was a time and place for showing such intimacies.

"When we're alone, you can kiss me all you want, but not here, not when everyone can see."

"I've missed you." He tried to control his emotion, but I could easily detect the depth of his words.

My heart thudded at his close proximity. Temptation so blindingly potent that I was drunk from lusting over him.

"Then dance with me, River Ellis."

"Thought you'd never ask." He pulled me close to him as our hips began to slowly sway, grounding, grinding from the beat of the music.

We danced, forgetting about Anton and Kells who were a few feet away, glancing at us every so often. However, all I could feel and focus on was River and how his hands held my hips.

The alcohol worked through my system as we swayed to the beat. I could feel his restraint, the heat of his desire as he harnessed his emotions to play my game of waiting. He knew he would get his way later tonight. We were lost in our own little world, spell-bounded by something greater, a profound force that kept bringing us together. Hypnotized, magnetized by elements we could barely control ourselves, consuming us with such profound adrenaline-charged transcendental, mystical form, a magic that bounded us together.

My breathing hitched as River slowly made us sway our way toward the section of the floor where the lights didn't grace, a dark enough space for privacy from prying eyes. The moment we were out of sight, River practically devoured my neck with his kisses, nipping as he made small thrusts of his hips, making me well aware of his profound arousal.

"Baby," I moaned, not stopping him. Little did I realize that this was the first sentiment I had ever used on him since our reunion.

He was practically making out with my neck, gripping on the tiny thin threads of control before he was about to spin out of it, losing his will to harness the fire that burned so violently in his heart, mind, and soul.

"Can I take you home?"

We were pushed to the limit, and it was high time we take this elsewhere.

"Take me home, please."

He didn't say another word, merely ushering me out of the bar before speed dialing Joe. In the space of ten minutes, I was in the back of the Range with his grip entwined with mine, never letting go. The ride didn't take long, and once we got to my apartment, he didn't bother turning on the lights before pulling me close to him.

"Come here," he demanded then began demolishing my lips. He planted his hands on my hips, lifting me as I wrapped my legs around his body, kissing him back. Our lips became one, gentle but strong, hungered but measured.

"Take me to bed please," I pleaded as my hands fevered to connect to his bare flesh, exploring his body like it was the first time I had lain hands on him.

River did as I asked, carrying me toward the bedroom without breaking our kiss. He then lowered me down the moment his legs hit the edge of the bed. Drowning in his sheer magnificence, he resembled like a beautiful dark angel descending upon me.

Undressing each other, we drank each other in, lost in our own time, in our own made-up world. Each kiss, each touch amplified thrice fold than before. He was slowly making love to me, and I could sense myself opening up to him. As if all the barriers, all the fight had evaporated into thin air. I felt it all—every fiber of his love, his pain, his hope that he proudly showed to me.

We rode the height of our passion without any pretenses. We were a man and a woman, the past all but forgotten as we came together, sealing our unity with a kiss. And when he fell on top of me, exhausted and asleep, I had never felt such completeness. A joy so intense, so overpowering that tears began to slide off the sides of my face.

"I love you, River." The words caught me off guard. All the sleepiness immediately vanished as the words sank in. "I can't be—"

Everything I had worked hard for, all that I had accomplished, all were for naught. The sex must have been driving me into such maddening thoughts. No. No! I wasn't going to be weakened by any man, most especially River.

Here I had believed that I was no fool in love, but it was harder to fool my heart. It knew all along, and now this secret was something I dwelled to keep for as long as I was capable of hiding it.

# Chapter Forty-Three

It took everything in me to act the same, taking his calls and pretending as though I didn't feel the same. River had been patient, not noticing anything amiss. It had been a few days since that fated night, and tried as I might, my thoughts would sprint back in time, rehashing moments spent with him and dissecting where I possibly began falling in love with him again.

Anton and I began our introduction to mixed martial arts, and on the second try, he was ready to give up. The sport was crucial, and I admit my body was sore in places I didn't know existed.

"We really should give up now," Anton grumbled as he slid on his training gloves. "Who said being skinny was fun, anyway?"

Grinning at him while securing my ankle brace, I blew out the few strands of hair that fell out of my ponytail. "I'm not doing this to be skinny, babe. There's a difference between that and just wanting to be fit and healthy." The three of us lavished on fattening foods, like blocking the arteries kind. This was our way of starting to compensate for gulping down such scrumptious waste into our system. Kells had her yoga, and well, this was ours.

"Wanna do something fun for lunch?" Anton ignored my comment as he conjured what he was going to have for his next meal.

Shaking my head, I tried not to pester him that he had a serious problem when one had to begin daydreaming what he was going to eat soon when his belly was still filled with what he had for breakfast. "Not today. I'm seeing Kyle."

He frowned like I had just said something offensive. "I thought you were doing the dirty with River?"

They didn't hide the fact that they liked River and weren't making it easy for me to just be on my own for a while. Parker had been trying to reach out, but I wasn't going to hear one of his hate-filled tirades.

"Nothing's changed, but I gotta live my life the way I see fit," I argued, hoping that he'd just let it go.

"Kyle's hot, I give you that. But River... Are you fucking kidding me? I'd give my toe just to breathe next to him."

Anton liked to exaggerate.

"You've been close to him. You've hung out with the man several times now, and you're still not over it."

"Uh, yeah, but he gives me little seizures each time he's a few feet away," he easily confessed with a deadpan expression. "Never mind me. I know what you're trying to prove to yourself here, but you gotta give your first love another chance, Cara. He's earned it. You might not think so, but the guy did earn it, boo. I'm serious. He's bending over backward, scramming and rearranging his schedule just to be with you. Doesn't that deserve praise?"

_He earned it_ , Anton's words echoed in my brain, barely registering.

"I'm not ready." _To lay my heart for him to fuck with._ "I can't let go of the past, Anton. It's hard to fathom, I get it, but I'm not ready."

My best friend appeared disheartened. I knew he had my best interest, but he would never understand where I was coming from. He and Kells adored River—I did, too—but I wasn't going to give up this newfound freedom because River made my heart beat once again. Besides, Kyle and I were having fun; what was the harm in that?

"As long as you know what you're doing, that's all I'm saying."

I believed I did. Why else would I be doing this?

With that conversation out of the way, Anton and I concentrated with our mission at hand—sparring each other. I wasn't sure why our instructor mandated such a task since Anton and I were both horrible; throwing odd punches that lacked strength indicated that we were such novices. I'm sure it was an entertainment for the others.

Even if my entire body ached, I still managed to get ready for lunch with Kyle. I had to compromise by wearing flats because wearing high heels would be overkill for my throbbing stems.

Just like before, I drove to our meeting spot, which was two blocks away from my place. Kyle was already waiting for me when I got there, dressed in his usual ensemble of cutout jeans, white shirt, and leather jacket. He had the sexy bad boy written all over him, and he never looked better. It was just a great coincidence that it was one my favorite seafood restaurants.

We lunched on superb crab cakes and succulent lobsters while sipping marvelous white wine. And like always, Kyle charmed me with his animated storytelling. It enabled me to enjoy the moment. He didn't inquire about my past, nor did I mention that I was orphaned at a young age. Divulging my past was a painful ordeal I would rather not venture.

We then carried on by walking toward the pier and had ice cream for dessert before we strolled the beach. The seagulls were flying over us as I listened to the calm waves hit the sandy shores.

When was the last time I took a moment to appreciate my surroundings? I couldn't recall the last time I stopped and glanced about.

"This is nice," I murmured, looking up the bright sky before taking a lengthy lick of my coned treat.

Kyle nodded before murmuring his agreement. "I haven't done this in forever."

The hint of melancholy was unmistakable. It was that woman in England who broke his heart, the one he grew up with.

"Let me see, the last time was with Sienna?"

Lost in thought, he seemed a thousand miles away. "Yeah. It seems ages now, but I can still remember that day. It was right after she turned down after being proposed to by her husband now," he stated, as though it was another man's story, not his.

That sounded beyond complicated, but I wasn't going to pry further. I knew the subject was still raw.

"Memories have a way with a broken heart." I hoped he would find peace someday.

"I try. I guess that counts for something."

"So do I." We were on the same journey. We were brought together with some hope that he and I could mend each other.

"I like talking to you, Cara. I can be myself. I tell you things because I know you won't judge me." He smiled, a soft crinkle in his eye when he did so.

"The feeling's mutual." He was a gentleman, a genuine kind. Not like Parker, who had fed me empty words and had masked his true self until I began exclusively dating him.

He looked pleased, smiling before glancing toward the beach. "I have this thing on Saturday, a fundraiser in Palm Springs that I already made a commitment to. Was wondering if you wanna be my plus one."

"It's not an overnight thing, is it?" I heard myself say, still unsure about what to say next.

Kyle gave me a considering look. "Unless you don't want to. I meant to drive back after dinner, anyway, but if you find that taxing, then we can stay the night."

What harm would it be to go out and have fun at the same time?

"I'll go as long as we drive back. I have a lot of things to do before going to Vegas with my friends for a few days."

He bestowed that dashing smile of his. "Deal."

Palm Springs definitely was happening, then. Surprisingly, I found myself eager to go with him. Maybe it would show me a different aspect of the man. He sure had a lot of depths, and I didn't mind wanting to know each and every one of them. I wasn't sure where this was going, but what I was sure of was that our friendship was building, and I was grateful for it.

Saturday was a few days away, so I had time to figure out what I would wear for the event. For the time being, I had to get my butt in gear for tomorrow's class with Anton.

When River called that night, I weighed in if I should disclose what transpired today. It was right after he invited me to visit him for a short trip that I decided telling him would be for the best.

"I went out with Kyle again today."

There was silence on the other end before I heard him say, "I see."

"I've been upfront with you since the beginning." I had never failed on that. I made sure to drill it into his skull so I wouldn't have to deal with this outcome. "Just thought I should let you know, River."

"You keep saying that nothing's going to change no matter what. I believe you, Cara. I just hope you're not doing this to hurt me. Because, if you are, you're only fooling yourself."

Aghast from his retort, I was ready to dish it out to him.

"What the hell—"

"Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you soon." He sounded crushed, but it didn't seem to quell the fire within me.

"Sounds good!" I bitingly retorted back, still raging.

"And Cara?"

_"What?_ "

"I love you."

Groaning out loud, I ended the call before I said something I would regret. River had a way of releasing this well-kept temper that wanted to come out and play when provoked. Even in the height of my discord with Parker, he could never rouse this much response from me.

# Chapter Forty-Four

Kyle's swanky **** sex machine of a car sped through the vast aridness of the desert as we headed toward Palm Springs. It was barely past ten in the morning and the heat permeated through the glass even though the air conditioning was on full blast. Though barren it appeared, sparse cactuses sprouted sporadically, evidence that one could survive in harsh conditions. That was there's beauty to be found in places that one never thought of. One had to find the beauty in the ugly things in life, only then one could appreciate and reflect on the meaning it presented. Happiness was a state of mind, a practice that I had yet to perfect.

My eyes roved toward the long lined of colossal windmills fueling the city we were heading to. Kyle had been accommodating in making sure I had my coffee and other refreshments before our drive. He kept his phone on silent while he drove. We didn't suffer the awkwardness of small talk. Being with him felt great, so much so that I felt utterly comfortable in his presence. There were no frivolities between us and I found that mildly refreshing. Stylishly dressed in his Dolce suit and aviator shades, he was too hot to resist, and normally, I would be a neurotic blabbering mess, but I was calm.

The fundraiser was held in one of Palm Springs' elite golf resorts. Donning a low-back olive silk dress and minimal gold jewelry and makeup, I was glad that party was indoors instead of being held out on the open. Given the blazing heat, a heat stroke would go hand in hand with a cocktail.

"Did anyone ever notice that you have a very sexy back?" Kyle murmured into my ear while trying to suppress a laugh. "It sounds stupid, I know, but it fucking is. The arch, the silkiness—it's perfection." His hand gently brushed through the exposed expanse of my spine.

We were in the midst of a meal with other guests at our table, but he didn't seem to care if anyone minded his appropriateness.

"Really? Do your dates buy that second-rate line?" Where was he getting his lines? From Justin Timberlake?

His eyes crinkled as he gazed at me with profound amusement. He then closed the gap and whispered into my ear. "In all seriousness, though, it makes me wonder how your skin would taste on my tongue."

My cheeks flamed as I diverted my eyes downward at my lap. "Behave you little pervert," I murmured back in the same tenor and fervor.

Earlier on he had been the epitome of a gentleman, but after two drinks, his inner slut was ready to come and play. Kyle was a tease, but goodness, when he channeled all of his sexiness into that smoldering hazel eyes of his, that shit melted my underwear.

I held River in such high regard, but Kyle came a close second. But with Kyle, things were fun, new, and there was no high price to pay. That appealed more to me more than I cared to admit. He was a sexy diversion I welcomed with great enthusiasm.

I didn't have the affinity for rubbing shoulders with socialites, the wealthy, and the like, yet I tried to stay afloat with the conversations. It was a trick that always came in handy when I had to attend these stuffy events, pretending this was a set and I had to figure out lines. A role-play.

I looked around me and wondered if any of these souls had the same childhood I did. Doubted it. My unfortunate background was something I tried not to dwell on. It wasn't shame, but it put me in prickly position when people pried and began questioning.

My past couldn't be undone, and it didn't define me. The pain I had endured gave me depth, some credibility that my past didn't cripple me like some of the children who went through the same ordeal. It gave me shades of gray in a black and white world. Though I was still figuring out myself, my life in general, I was proud to say that I had a moral compass to guide me, thanks to lovingly sweet Mattie. Without her guidance and encouragement, steering me to better pastures, who knows where I would have ended up.

After our meal, Kyle became deeply imbedded in conversation with a few male guests whom he introduced as some of the executives in the movie industry. They were trying to broker a deal for a TCC documentary. And since I was an outstanding date, I didn't want to be a nuisance, so I tried to brave it out and mingled on my own, venturing socially to people who seemed to give me the silent disdain through their eyes.

After a failed attempt of trying to hold a conversation for the umpteenth time, I began to wander toward the bar and befriended the vivacious bartender named Fergus.

"I'm so sorry. I hope you don't feel like I've abandoned you. I didn't expect to be going through the details today." Kyle approached me from the back with his hand securely on my lower back.

I shrugged, not minding much that he had to work. "Don't worry; I know how these things work."

"Well, I hope you won't mind for another couple more hours? We're invited guests to Mr. Woodhull's private home. There's a pool, a spa, and a tennis court if you feel like breaking a sweat."

I could tell that he was ashamed to ask, which was cute, but he needed not fret. I wasn't one of those high maintenance women who needed around the clock attention.

"Stop worrying. I'm sure I'll figure something out. A swim would be nice."

"Thanks for being understanding." He kissed my cheek, his way of showing gratitude. "I'll make it up to you."

I was sure he would.

"Thanks for the fun convos, Fergus." I saluted the man before locking my arm around Kyle's before we headed toward the exit.

After giving our ticket to the valet, we drove toward Mr. Woodhull's palatial estate. The sprawling Italian villa had private bungalows specifically for his guests. It reeked big money and, given Kyle's status in the music business, I was sure he and his father were amongst these kinds of folks. River was rich, but the person who cut his checks were the wealthy ones.

For the first time, I became agitated as I thought of being such a disadvantage for Kyle. Hopefully he wasn't embarrassed having me as his date. Whoever this Sienna woman was, I was sure she was part of this lifestyle. It intimidated me to wonder if these people knew her, and if so, were they comparing me to her? Instead of wallowing for how I came up short, I focused on the butler who ushered me toward the sprawling gardens that led toward the bungalow, which apparently had its own private pools as well. Kyle, on the other hand, was possibly sharing a cigar amongst those stiff elderly folks.

"Everything you need is here. If you need anything—anything at all—just give us a ring. If you also fancy something to eat, the chef will whip up whatever you so wish, Miss Quinn," the butler aptly named Martin graciously stated as he showed me into my temporary home of solitude.

Once he left, my eyes took in my surroundings. This setting had romance in mind. It transported me back to old world Mediterranean—the earthy décor, archways with thick cream curtains slung on each end, the pink flowers in every flat surface, the blissful scent of candles burning in the air and the azure swimming pool with a beautiful waterfall cascading at the end of it. It was a place to lure the senses. And goodness, I was beguiled since I had never really been in places such as this.

With a buzz of anticipation, I slipped out of my heels and set my feet free to feel the heat on the Marazzi limestone tiles that were bordered with trimmed grass.

"If only Anton could see me now," I murmured, grinning as I softly strolled toward the chilled champagne was stationed in a silver bucket. After pouring myself a glass, I closed my lids and directed my face toward the sun, loving the heated rays kiss my skin, greeting it.

When was the last time I had enjoyed a decent swim? That had never happened since I didn't have a pool nor did I have the habit of barging into other people's homes to do just that. Growing up poor didn't give a lot of opportunities to enjoy such delightful past times.

"Kyle will take forever anyway, so why not?" I shrugged as I giddily took off my dress, blushing as I did so, even though no one was watching me. I felt naughty. I had been a good girl for so long.

I swam to my heart's desire, naked and free. It felt fantastic to feel the water glide over my skin as I powered through, swimming to the other end of the pool. It took me another half an hour or so before I decided to pluck the champagne from its icy cocoon and drink its contents straight from the bottle. Once that fizzle deliciousness was finished, I peddled on to the next and opened a vintage red wine. There were an array of cheese selections and fruits, so I lightly nibbled on those before resuming back to the pool.

Flipping to float on my back with a content smile splaying on my face, I shut my eyes and thought of nothing. Then I heard someone clear their throat.

Fack!

My eyes immediately sprung open, and I spotted Kyle standing against one of the archways, eyes openly feasting on my breasts with unmistakable expression written on his face. He was seeing my naked body, so acting modest and covering my breasts and nether regions would be pointless. Yes, I was palpably nervous, but I was also in the same measure emboldened somehow.

As graciously as possible, I unhurriedly treaded toward the stairs of the pool and began to ascend from the water before facing him with unperturbed expression. "Would you be a gentleman and get me a robe please?"

His hazel eyes flickered, burning as they roamed over my body, praising with adoration and burning desire. "Who said I was a gentleman?"

"What do you intend to do, then? Stare at me all afternoon?" I was a quivering mess as I tried to meet his intense gaze.

His eyes spoke for him. They were like liquid gold, fiery and indubitably mesmerizing. They drew me in with the power to make my body pulsate and throb for him. My body reacted like it did when River would cast a spell on it—a feat that exhilarated me to no end.

River, the very thought of him, killed me a little. He would hate me if he knew what I was up to.

"That's a good question, Cara," he said as he gradually closed the gap between us. "You have one of the most beautiful body I have ever set my eyes on. And the best thing about it is... it's all real." He gently massaged my breast, molding it against his palm before tugging on my nipple. I bit into my lip and moaned out loud. "May I taste you, Cara?"

"Just... kiss me," I begged, cementing my fate with the consequences that was about to happen next.

His lips came upon my own with such ferocity it made my head spin. Kyle, like his bad boy persona, didn't do gentle. His fervor was consistently felt through his kiss, his hands, and his cock that was about to combust in his jeans. He didn't dare take me to bed. Instead, he hastily took his clothes off as he deepened our kiss. Once he freed himself, I heard the sound of a foil opening before I felt him apply it on his rigid phallus. Then I felt his fingers probe and violate my opening, slightly sliding into my wet channel, testing if I was ready for his throbbing onslaught.

"You take my breath away, Cara," he groaned before plunging into my depths. He did it in such an acute manner that I almost bit his lip in the process. He wasn't as big as River, but Kyle was way beyond normal, so it took a few strokes to finally get my body in sync with his. And once it did, I became the lustful unbidden woman I was.

He unapologetically took me right there on the spot, against the heated limestone searing against my back as he pounded into my pussy without restraint or inhibitions. I welcomed it all, each stroke, each kiss, washing my sins away, hoping to erase what my heart tried to quietly tell me.

Kyle had a way to silence the riotous madness in my mind. Being with him here was a reprieve from my chaotic life. Isolated in this sweet paradise, the outside world barely existed.

Much to our luck, Mr. Woodhull and his wife had to head back to Los Angeles that very same night, but extended their offer in letting us stay in their mansion that had round the clock staff and chef to cater to their guests. Who in their right mind would resist such a tempting offer?

I knew that I was beyond saving, and no matter. Kyle was unbelievable as a lover and even an amazing person to converse with. If we weren't busy dirtying the sheets, we would eat and swim, enjoying the time together. We didn't visit our past or present—we simply existed.

We were both scarred and in some ways, we had a silent understanding between each other. We were friends, lovers, and everything in-between with no strings attached. For that, I was undyingly grateful.

Whatever the next chapter brought, I knew I weaved my own fate, the consequences and the results.

# Chapter Forty-Five

"Sorry, it's my fault! It took forever to get ready!" I announced to everyone the moment Anton and I boarded the jet. They had been patiently waiting for over ten minutes now.

"It's no biggie." Phoenix stood up and gave us a quick hug before directing us toward where we were supposed to be seated. Anton was sitting next to Mint while I had to situate my butt farther down the cabin.

My eyes travelled toward everyone seated while simultaneously greeting them with hellos before halting my steps when I finally found my spot. My heart skipped a beat when I found River sitting across the empty seat.

River. Was. Here. How was that possible? He was supposed to be out filming.

He had sunglasses on, so it was difficult to know if he was awake or not. Nevertheless, it wouldn't stop me from waking him up.

"River!" I gleefully exclaimed while claiming my seat across from him. "Hey, I've been calling you, but you've been too busy. So how come you're not in Ireland?"

"Cara," he said without taking off his shades. "We wrapped up early. Only landed the other night."

He had been here that long and didn't even try to tell me?

"Why didn't you say so? We could've gone to dinner or something." Typically, I would be the first person he sought out, but apparently, circumstances changed.

We had been suffering a bad case of phone tag after I got back from Palm Springs. I hadn't spoken to him since, so I must be the culprit behind his standoffish demeanor. He was probably still ticked off about that tiny argument we had.

"If you're still mad about—"

"I actually swung by your place, but it seemed like you had a guest, so I didn't want to intrude." His voice was a whisper, but I felt the intensity with each word.

Oh. The other night... when Kyle came by and brought dinner... and sex.

My heart thumped as my gaze fell, feeling vulnerably bewildered. I hadn't expected his response. I had intended to reveal what happened with Kyle in due course.

River knew, so what happens next?

My ears rang while I faintly heard the pilot announcing that we were cleared for takeoff. I could feel the burning weight of his eyes on me, reading and studying my face for answers he couldn't bring himself to ask. He was hurt. There was no misconstruing that fact. I abhorred this type of confrontation, but I believed that I should at least say something—anything.

Raising my eyes to his face, my stricken reflection from his sunglasses registered how nervous I was right this moment.

We were in our own secluded section, and with the plane's engine whirring around us, I had no fear that they could hear our heavy-laden conversation. Our friends were oblivious to the turmoil that brewed between us. The last thing we both needed was an audience to witness this train wreck of a pseudo relationship.

"River, I don't know what to say to make this any less painful for the both of us."

"Don't mind me, Cara. Like I said before, if you're happy, I'm happy."

But he sounded anything _but_ that. Each time we reunited, I never failed to reiterate how sex didn't change our circumstances.

There was profound hollowness within me as I sat across this man, disengaged and desensitized, expressionless as he conversed with me like we were discussing the weather. Where was the roar of his anger? Where was the River who would rage because his heart was broken?

"I'm sorry." It was too late for that, nor was it necessary since we didn't have an agreement or anything. "Maybe if you start seeing other people... maybe it wouldn't be so bad." It was his given choice to exclusively, even though we weren't an item. If he saw other people, maybe that would ebb away his pain.

"Don't worry about me, Cara. I'm a grown man; I'll get over it." He stated like he would rather chew on nails than speak to me. "I'm jet-lagged, so I hope you don't mind if I doze off before we land."

Sighing, I conceded and let him off our strained conversation.

How was I to survive partying with these people for the next three nights? Hopefully River and I would continue treating each other in a civilized manner. Well, more so him since I caused him to halt his affections for me. It was the right thing to do because, had it gone on for another month or so, River would expect more from me. Today, tomorrow, it didn't matter, because I would never give myself to him, even if my heart silently belonged to him. No one would know what was embedded in the dark depths of my heart. It belonged to same man I had fallen in love with at twelve years old.

The one-hour flight was a taxing ordeal. It was pure torment trying not to gawk at the beautiful man across me. It bothered me that I couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep, so I was left to my own trivial thoughts and devices while I struggled to maintain a cool, unbothered appearance.

Just before landing, Phoenix cleared his throat. "You guys, listen up! We're all staying on the same floor, but we'll all be in our own suites, except for Anton, Cara, and River. They'll be in the same suite. And as for the schedule, we won't be hosting until midnight for the next three nights, so dinner will be around nine. Hangovers are crucial, so drink up and let's party until the top drops!"

While everyone hooted and cheered, I was slowly dying inside. How in God's name would I survive sharing a suite with River for the next three nights? Given our delicate situation, what if the man decided to bring some chick? What would I do then?

Instinctively, I would scratch the bitch's eyes out until she was knocked out cold. But that would reveal too much, so I would have to play a better part; smile as though everything was fine and dandy.

This whole trip would be the death of me. I could already feel it, what I would have to endure being so close to River and not being able to touch him. I made a choice and now I must stick to that decision.

# //

"I'm going to Kells' suite. Wanna come with and bug them?" Anton announced as we wheeled our luggage into our own designated bedroom. There were two queen-sized beds, a massive bathroom, and a grand view of the city beyond.

River had already declared that he would be catching the zzz's for the next few hours and would greatly appreciate if no one pestered him. He was going to host while Phoenix DJ'd tonight, so he needed to restore his energy if he was making a paid appearance at midnight.

Anton snapped his fingers, bringing me out of my reverie. "Earth to Cara?"

"Hmm? Oh, you go on ahead. I don't think I'll survive going shopping in this heat. I think Lauren and Mint will be joining them, too." _Where was he getting this unending energy?_ I enviously wondered.

"Oh, damn. Well, I better head out now then, before I miss out on that," he rushed out before blowing me kisses. "Love you, sprinkle toes."

"Love you, too, Care Bear." I smiled as I watched him disappear.

Sitting at the edge of my queen mattress, the silence in the room was deafening. Blowing out a breath, I was about to get up when I heard a door slam, freezing me in my position. The sound of that door meant one thing. It led me to believe River had left as well.

Everyone seemed to lavish on what Vegas had to offer, while I sat here, wondering what to do next. If I kept still for another second, I was about to scream my frustration out.

Slipping out of my suede black pumps, I lazily strolled toward my luggage and pulled out the powder blue cotton robe, intending to strip and take a much-needed nap, praying my senses would fully restore themselves.

I felt out of sorts ever since that horrid exchange with River, like my chakra was out of balance. Surely there was more to be said apart from those stale words? It should comfort me that River wasn't pressing the issue further, but the effects were the opposite. His standoffish demeanor harassed my conscience. I was left disconcerted, jumbling the mayhem that already ran havoc with my emotions.

Securing the knot on my robe, I strode toward the bar for something refreshing to drink. After spotting a chilled bottle of Pellegrino, I gulped it down before halting midway when I heard a riotous laughter coming from River's bedroom.

"What the—"

My body ran hot then cold as my ears peeled to hear any noise coming from his end of the suite. He left, didn't he?

Slamming the teardrop shaped bottle, my imagination began to run amuck.

My curiosity piqued as I rushed toward his door, halting for a moment before brusquely wrenching it open.

"Hello?" I almost choked on my question when my eyes fell on River, standing tall, naked and proud, with his dick given the sole attention to a woman on her knees, sucking and draining him like a starved vampire in need of her daily sustenance.

The unquestionable woman released his cock with a popping sound before she glanced at me with a contorted look on her face. "I thought you were single!" she accusingly screeched.

River's unapologetic stare trained on me. "I am," he responded without remorse in his voice, seeming to challenge me, daring me to say something.

"Uh, I don't think so." The Latina woman got to her feet before hauling her purse from the bed. She then threw me a confused look my way before diverting her eyes toward her lover. "Call me once you've fixed this. I'm not into breaking domestic scenes." She hastily exited without a backward glance.

Why, oh, why did I have to snoop? What my eyes saw could never be unseen. It was ingrained in my memory. This was the playboy River I had read in the glossy rags. The one who used to make my blood curdle from outrage and jealousy. This was a complete nightmare.

I tried to break away from his gaze. My mouth hung ajar as I gripped the labels of my robe. I had no business interfering, let alone barging in his bedroom, but fuck it couldn't be helped.

"Do you need something, Cara?" he asked with impenetrable eyes.

His tone indicated that I was testing his patience, which equally made me angry and nervous. Should I apologize? I couldn't bring myself to.

"I thought you left..." I began to stammer like a stricken idiot. "When I heard the door... That is... I didn't want to intrude... I had no idea you had someone here."

He had acted quickly. It made me wonder if he immediately hopped into another woman's bed after leaving my place two nights ago?

"I'd appreciate if you don't act like a total ass toward me when you're doing the same thing, River."

His eyes flickered before releasing his breath, and he finally took the initiative to pull his pants up to cover his indecency. "I saw Hailey," he blurted it, stopping me from functioning altogether.

The name alone made me want to commit murder, the cauldron of hate immediately resurrecting from the dead. The woman played a huge role in our breakup, and here he was, spitting her name to my face like it was something fucking important.

"Why should I fucking care about that clingy cunt?" My cool demeanor had diminished. My entire system went on high alert, ready to shut down whoever crossed me.

"Because I told her years ago that I can only date her when you don't belong to me anymore."

They used to have sex. Everyone knew that, but he never officially stated that they were dating. So, two years on, the bitch still clung for the opportunity and now she got her lucky break. Yippee.

"So, you're dating that psycho now?" I fumed before crossing my arms around my chest, burning from head to toe. "You just had some chick on her knees, working on your dick, and now you're telling me that you're dating the bushwhack cunt?"

"Not yet... Maybe soon."

His detached manner grated on me to no end.

"You just had to run back to the woman you replaced me with in the first place. Great—just fucking great." My eyes dropped to the vase that was within my arm's reach, contemplating if I should chuck it at him for playing me like a fiddle. This whole time that woman was still an integral part of his life. Why hadn't he said a thing before? Why now? Why disclose this when I was moving on? Was he doing it out of spite?

Looking at his cool as a cucumber attitude, I somehow doubted he had any motives for such vile proclamations.

River ran a hand over his hair, seeming a little confused before breaking eye contact with me. "It doesn't matter now. I hope once things settle, we can still continue building on our friendship, Cara. I meant it when I said I didn't want to lose you."

He didn't want to lose me? He intended for us to continue building on our tattered friendship while he dated Hailey? What world was he living on, because it sure as hell wasn't mine! Did he not fathom the depths of my hatred for that woman who he intended to give his affections to? Apparently not.

"I—" I what? "I need to think." Without throwing him another glance, I stomped out of his room, scuttling away like he was the devil himself.

"Cara!" he thundered, but didn't follow.

"Fuck off!" I furiously screeched before locking my bedroom door in case he decided to "discuss" his pure precious Hailey to me. Gag.

For so long, I had convinced myself that I was no longer that vile, jealous lunatic who would go ape-shit on him. But River proved me wrong. The vicious emotion was slowly taking over me, goading me to do something catastrophic. In my worst of times, I threw shoes at him, but the damn man had too good of reflexes, catching them all. This green-eyed monster was the dark side of my love for him, the uncontrollable jealousy raging in my mind, and it was creeping into my system once again.

Pained as I was, I wouldn't let myself shed a tear. Was this River's kind of punishment? It was the cruelest.

_But what if it's the only way he can get over you?_ my mind intervened, stopping my breathing altogether.

"Cara..." River said from right outside my door. "Can I come in?"

What else was there to say? If this was his way of trying to salvage our friendship, well, now wasn't the time.

"There's nothing left to say, River. Let's just leave it as is, okay? Thank you."

"Please," he gravely implored.

One word, yet it shattered my heart to pieces. I meant it. There was nothing to discuss. I just needed to sort out my emotions. Maybe in a few hours I would be in an agreeable state and not bordering on hysteria.

I kept my mouth shut and didn't respond. I wasn't sure how long he waited, but he somehow understood that I wasn't to be trifled with.

We both knew he ignited the worst in me.

# Chapter Forty-Six

Kyle was on his way to England, and Anton wasn't around, so I was alone in my thoughts with no one to confide to about the demons that plagued me. Kyle knew everything about me and River. The moment I began sharing a little bit of my past with River, the floodgates opened and I couldn't stop. And much to my surprise, Kyle encouraged me to dwell on my feelings. He had such a soothing way of drawing out your secrets, and since I had kept all those emotions bottled up, it felt as though I was relieving the viscous burden from my heart.

At one point, he even stated that if I could begin forgiving myself, maybe then I could toy with the idea of going back to River. It was madness really, coming from a man I was having sexual relations with, but that didn't seem to hold him back from being honest with me. And I appreciated his insight greatly. He was a remarkable man, yet it seemed we would remain as thus because we were both in love with other people.

"Hey, I'm back." Anton knocked on the door. "Are you sleeping?"

No, I wasn't. What I was doing, though, was staring into space while my mind prominently dwelled on River and Hailey, and maybe cursing them both every once in a while. I was close to being mental; I could almost swear it.

"One second," I hollered as I lugged my bedraggled self toward the door to let Anton in.

"Yo, um, River's asleep on the couch? Are you two fighting or something?" he whispered as he entered the room. The second he found my disheveled state, he paused for a moment before reaching for my hand. "I know it's none of my biz, but I can sense tension between you two and it's not the sexual kind."

What was the point? Anton had a sly way in trying to get the truth out of me. Might as well beat him to it.

"He knows about Kyle..." I blew out an exasperated breath before I sat on the bed and held on to a pillow like it was a lifesaver. "And... well, he just told me he's about to date Hailey Mavis, the clingy stalker who wouldn't leave him alone."

He dramatically gasped before resting a hand over his heart. "But why when he's so in love with you?"

Because for some odd reason River had an attachment to that abhorrent devious woman.

"I feel so insulted. I feel crazy, Anton. I know we've broken up, but fuck, why does it have to be _her_?" I was hysterical, but never in tears.

He placed his shopping bags on the floor before giving me a worrisome glance. "If it's someone else it wouldn't bother you as much?"

"Probably not." It didn't matter because he was seeking to properly validate his relationship with this woman now. I was sure Hailey would greatly appreciate the added bonus of non-stop promo for dating such a sought after, high profiled actor like River. It was how they both started. She garnered enough momentum, but not to the extent she had hoped. Though she was becoming quite the desperate woman in social media by baring her body and her daily ins and outs like her world revolved around everyone's likes and approvals.

"Well, I don't know River all that well, but guessing from his actions, the guy just wants to feel safe right now... and Hailey probably offers that. Like you said, he knows about Kyle so he's probably fucked up inside."

My dear friend had a valid argument...

"But why tell me? He knows I hate her." Hate was too mild of a word to decipher what I felt toward Hailey. No, hate would be too kind, indeed.

Anton sighed before he sat at the edge of the bed, mirroring the same sullen expression as I was. "He's probably hoping that it might make you run back to him, Cara. Have you considered that?"

"Like hell," I spat. If this was his twisted way of trying to win me over, it was callously done.

It was a poor taste in a woman. By choosing her, River was ready to mar me, the past and everything else it represented. The very idea of seeing those two everywhere in the news again made me feel nauseous.

My heart constricted like someone was gripping the life out of it, while my stomach churned and burned. My sight became a blur while I tried to vanish the images that flashed in my mind.

"I can't breathe," I gasped as I clutched my robe. "My chest hurts really bad."

"I think that's what you call a heartbreak, babe." Anton wrapped his arms around me. "Just breathe. That's it.... Inhale... exhale... I got you. I'm here."

I focused on his words, doing as he instructed, drawing air in and out of my lungs before a serious panic attack set in.

Breathe in... Breathe out...

"Cara?"

"Yes?"

"I understand now. I mean, about why you didn't want to go back to him. I've never seen you like this. It pains me to admit it but if I found someone that could trigger this kind of havoc. I maybe won't take a chance, too."

His words cut deeply into me. I was almost brought to tears.

"I've worked so hard not to be so crippled again, but all he had to do was say her name and I'm back in hell again."

"You're strong. You'll prove to yourself that you won't let this this defeat you. Hailey will never win."

"Anton, I don't think I can join you guys tonight." Seeing him would be too soon. I didn't want to commit murder, so it was best I kept away from him. First thing tomorrow, I would book a flight out of here.

Anton didn't appear too keen on the idea. "You are, and you will. Skip the dinner, but show up to the club. Consider this like you're going to do a performance of a lifetime. You chose this path, Sprinkles. Maybe it'll help you solve what you truly yearn in your heart."

The boy could be right. This wasn't all about her. This was about me fighting for myself by not cowering and appearing defeated.

"I'll go, but I'm leaving first thing tomorrow." Shattered though I was, I wasn't ready to let this conquer me. Maybe in time, I would have a better grasp at controlling my reactions to such horrid news. Crawling into my own hellish hole wasn't an option.

"Figured you'd ditch, but you know your limits better than anyone. Do what you gotta do babe."

I was in shambles, and if it weren't for him, I would still be feeling down rotten. Anton brought me back to reality by shedding the light on what really mattered. He showed me something to fight for—myself.

"Thank you for being my rock."

"You are mine, too. You just don't know it yet." He gave me the tightest hug before kissing me on the cheek. "Parade those goodies so he can be reminded of what he's missing. Make sure to dress up the part, too, like a fierce siren so he can eye fuck you all night because he know he ain't getting it with you anymore."

How could I not laugh at Anton's mad idea?

When it was time for him to leave for dinner, he made me promise to meet them at the club and that he would text me once they were done with dinner.

While they all dined on sushi, I opted room service. Though I barely ate the excellent soup and niçoise salad, I tried to muster an appetite. I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach.

After dinner, I unhurriedly went into the bathroom and drew myself a bath. The hot water seemed to do wonders to my sore body and fractionally lifted my mood. Once finished, I donned my comfort robe before I began toying and shaping my hair. I settled on a high bump ponytail that came out nicely after using a few products to tease my hair into place. Then I carried on to makeup.

From what I learned from Kells, the skin better be scrubbed off of any dead skin so that the foundation appeared luminescent. She even encouraged on giving a facial massage after polishing the face to suffuse the skin with a natural rosy glow. Next, I primed and contoured my face just as Kells had shown me. Lastly, I did my eyes, using a glittery black shade before applying heavy winged eyeliner, then finishing the look with one of my favorite brand of fake lashes.

Beautifying accomplished, I donned a black latex bare back mini-dress that stuck to my body like a second skin. It beautifully contoured my figure, proudly putting forth my best assets. Undergarments were nonessential. Pairing it with my black Giuseppe Zanotti killer heels, I was ready to party like a rock star.

Checking the brazen ensemble over the large paneled mirrors, I couldn't help giving a mad grin at my appearance. It showed the epitome of a confident woman. I understood now why appearances meant everything.

Glossing over my glammed up exterior, River would never know how much he weakened me.

"Go rock it tonight, Cara. Show him you don't give a fuck about Hailey." Here was to hoping he and I didn't have to converse tonight. The confrontation would most likely push me against the edge. Besides, he was most likely going to be hounded by his ever-devoted underlings.

My phone beeped while I gathered the essentials to put in my clutch purse, halting me from my course. Quickly checking the sender, I wasn't surprised to see it was Anton, possibly telling me that they were done at the restaurant.

_Warning! Alert! Fucking Alert! He's on his way up. Rush out now if you don't want to confront him. Love you._

"Shit cakes," I muttered as I hastily speed checked that I had everything before striding toward door.

Upon exiting our suite, I was relieved to see that there was not one soul in the corridor.

"Maybe he's in that Latina's room to finish their session." I laughed dryly as I made my way toward the bank of elevators.

It took me a couple of minutes until I finally reached the main floor. Boldly stepping out from the lift, I began to strut my way toward the opposite wing of the hotel, where the famous club was located. En route, a few men tried to catch my attention, and a few more tried to strike a conversation, but I politely declined them, not having patience for small talk amidst of a crisis.

Then I spotted him. His eyes audaciously travelled on my body, lingering on my shapely legs, then glued to my cleavage. His nose flared while his eyes sparked indecent intentions, and just like that, his face quickly shifted to hesitation like he was unsure of his next move, whether to approach me or leave me be. After a minute of contemplation, he slowly made his way toward me with his hands in his pockets.

"I was hoping to come and get you," he said with a strained smile, realizing people had begun to notice that it was the actor himself.

Glancing away, I saw a few people several feet away taking pictures of him.

We had best get out of the open or this could spiral and end up in TMZ or something. I could do without all the media slander and pressure that he was so used to.

Reverting my attention to the man before me, I wondered why we were being polite to each other. Hours ago, I was ready to chop his wienerschnitzel off.

"I'm fine, no need to worry about me." No, not any longer. I was sure once the wicked wench of the west got ahold of him, she would monitor everything he did.

His brows knitted together before shifting to block my view so I focused solely on him. Pressing his lips together, he ran a hand over his hair, appearing anxious and somewhat nervous from my cutting reply.

"I didn't think it'd affect you. I'm sorry for that."

He was sorry? For choosing the woman who incessantly hounded him while he was secretly engaged to me? Nah, I didn't care for his arguments or reasons behind his decision. Intentional or not, it was fucked up. But that was all in the past, right? So, he didn't need to be sorry. Evidently, he was single and could do and fuck as he pleased. What I thought on that score wasn't of importance.

Gingerly making sure my hair was still in place, I tried to smile, but it came out forced and artificial. "I'm leaving in the morning. I think it's for the best. And as for the friendship, we'll try again down the road. For now, I don't want this anywhere near me."

His mouth hung ajar like he couldn't believe what I was spouting about. "How can you say that after what we've been through together?" Ashen, he was beyond bewildered. "Nothing I do is ever enough anymore. But if that's what you really want, if it's the last thing I can do to make it right so that you can be happy, then I'll stay away from now on."

Our eyes clashed with such earth-shattering force that I could almost feel the impact explode in my chest. We were on the verge of something ugly and beautiful, but I was past letting it dictate me.

I disconnected from the powerful grip of his gaze, brushing past him and walking away.

It took a few minutes for me to sense him behind me, but I continued on, eyes forward with steely determination, never looking back, mentally and metaphorically speaking.

The group detected the grave mood that River and I had for each other, but they had enough sense not to breach the subject. Instead, they banded together to make sure that we were all having fun. I appreciated their effort. And with River busy doing the meet and greet with fans, Anton and I danced our little booties off. Kells joined Phoenix in the booth while he spun upbeat jams that made the partygoers go wild.

We were then joined by Mint and Lauren who awesomely brought me a bottle of Dom to share while be danced about. I was not particularly close to the girls, but Lauren seemed to be such a darling with a great quirky personality. Mint, on the other hand, was nice enough, but I could sense a little jealousy when River used to shower me his exclusive attention. I was almost sure that she would be rejoicing that I was out of the picture. She would then have Hailey to contend with. Best of luck to her.

When Rihanna's song came out, I became excited as I guzzled down the bottle of champagne while swaying to the beat, lost in the simplest pleasures of life.

"Can I steal you for a dance?" a stranger's voice came up from behind.

I twisted my head to check out who it was.

The man was blond and gorgeous, athletically built.

"Yes, you may steal me just for one dance," I cheekily quipped back before my emboldened hand curiously gripped his muscles. "Gym rat?"

He snickered, closing the gap between us. "I'm a Trojan," he cockily stated like that credential alone should impress me.

My brow rose before I coquettishly bit my lip, lavishing on the man's unrepressed reaction. It gave me a sense of control, a twisted kind of power trip that I could command and mine to exercise.

"The condom or the team?"

His eyes lit up, his interest went ten-fold. "Both, I'm definitely both."

I was becoming a lethal flirt. Flirting was an art, and I was honing my artistic skills. What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.

"If you can dance and manage to impress me, maybe you'll have a chance in executing one or two of the dirty thoughts you're thinking right now." I could tell he was quite the typical arrogant jock, but since I was ruling and commanding his usual game play, he wasn't sure how to handle me. Good, unpredictability always gave the upper hand. A vital of importance when around men of new acquaintance.

"You're unbelievably hot. It's so fucking hard to keep my cool around you," he admitted, boosting my confidence even more.

Capturing his hand, I placed it on my hip before leaning over him and strategically brushing my lips against this ear. The man smelled delicious, too.

"Let's dance. That way, I can slowly warm you up."

"Damn, how are you even real?"

The real me would probably bore him to tears. Sassy Vegas Cara was ready to come out and play.

We were just getting our groove on when Anton tapped me over the shoulder.

"I'm her side bitch. And who's Mr. Muscle Man?" he asked, ogling the jock like a piece of dessert about to be devoured.

Good question. I was so caught up with the whole ordeal that I had forgotten to ask his name.

Grinning, I slung my arm around the jock's toned arm before gazing over his face. "This is..."

"Calvin," he offered before looking down at me with a wicked look.

"Right." I tapped his chest before glancing back at my over inquisitive friend. "This is Calvin. He's a Trojan."

"I'm heading back to the table to recharge." Anton winked at me before giving Calvin one lusty brazen onceover. "Join us once you're done teasing the heck out of this beast."

"Don't mind him," I said before investing all my attention to the man whose hands began to find confidence in the way he held me.

We danced, gyrating against each other for almost an hour. By the time I announced exhaustion, I had a vast idea of the size of his package. It wasn't all that impressive, truth be told, but I wasn't planning on getting laid, but maybe everything else but the blatant deed.

My forefinger grazed his lips, checking to see if his bow-shaped lips felt as soft as they looked. "Feel like going somewhere quiet?"

"Hell yeah." The Trojan and I were on the same wavelength.

I flirtatiously smiled at him before softly tapping the side of his chin. "Good boy." Taking charge, I grabbed his hand and led him toward our private table. The club was so condensed with people it felt like we were sardines in a small can.

Upon reaching the table, I caught up with Kells and Anton, who were in the midst of eating sliders and fries.

"I'm heading out," I announced before picking up a fry and biting it in half. _Heaven_.

"With the USC quarterback?" Anton cocked his head to the side, double-checking Calvin who stood ten feet away, waiting for me to finish saying my farewells.

"Yes, sir." I stole another fry before blowing them kisses. "Catch ya laters."

"Cara!"

Ah, the asshole of the year was amongst us. Where was he? Lurking in the shadows before finding the right opportunity to pester me? Yeah, he could go suck a toe—Hailey's fucking toe.

Without glancing in his direction, I gave him the finger before marching off.

Trojan and I exited the venue with great relief. As much as I adored partying, Vegas was hardcore compared to the bars we frequented in LA. It was hard to keep up with the energy and the wild commitment to party like a rock star.

My spirits were lifted as we joked about playing strip poker. True, I hardly knew the man, but that was the whole point of tonight—to forget about my qualms.

We strode hand in hand through the halls of the hotel toward the bank of elevators to take us to the suite. Upon reaching my level, I pulled out the keycard to access the room.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I coyly asked the second we entered. Apparently, he and his friends were staying at a different hotel, and I didn't see the point as to why I had to trek farther when I could use this room. River and co. would be partying until the break of dawn, so it would be of no consequence.

That sentiment lasted for another minute until I heard the front door savagely open, then in rushed a severe looking River. I had seen his anger in different stages, but this one topped the list. He flexed his hands, gearing for a fight.

Venomous eyes seared toward where Calvin stood. "Get the fuck out of here!"

The poor jock's shocked expression didn't cover the horror of his situation. "Cara told me she's available. She's not yours."

"Oh, she's mine. She's been mine since she was eleven," River jeered. I could literally see his rage about to explode like a viciously shaken uncorked champagne bottle.

Calvin seemed oblivious to who River was, or he didn't give a hoot about his fame. As much as I loathed granting River my gaze, I knew I had to look at him so he could see the depths of my frustration. I didn't need him to act like a bastard and shining armor for me.

"We're just going to my room then, since you don't look like you're leaving any time soon."

River growled like some uncontrolled animal ready to pounce. "I'm not leaving, and if it takes muscle to let this fucker out, then let's have at it." He flexed his arms then his neck, eyes a fiery inferno.

He was ready to brawl? WTF!

Shielding Calvin from River, I knew was a moronic move since Calvin was a jock, but River had months of serious MMA training, fencing and all sorts of rigorous exercises to prep his body for his role as a Viking. Calvin wouldn't survive a minute with him.

"Enough!" I bellowed. This wasn't the kind of fun I had in mind, not with Calvin ending up in ER.

"I'm going to lose my scholarship if I fight you," I heard Calvin speak behind me, sounding defeated.

It seemed he had an idea who River was and what engaging him in a fight would entail. Damn, I quite liked the man.

"I'm sorry."

Calvin shrugged like he wanted to put this horror behind him as he scrammed out of the suite.

It was right after the sound of the door being securely shut that River's antagonizing demeanor shifted back to a normal human being. Well, good for him, because I wanted to fucking murder something. The second his eyes flickered toward me, I threw the nearest thing I could get ahold of—a saltshaker from the room service I had earlier on.

"You fucking maniac! What right do you have to fucking barge in here like you have every fucking right to control my life!"

"Ah, there's the passionate Cara I know very well. I was wondering when that'd happen." He actually had the gall to grin.

My entire system went into overdrive, seeing red. Completely going bonkers, I violently chucked my shoes at him, one after the other in hasty succession. But much to my chagrin, River caught both without much effort before dropping them on the floor, unperturbed.

"You bastard!" I screeched, advancing on him, wanting to hurt him somehow.

River immediately took hold of my hand, halting me. "Come here!" He hooked an arm around my waist, colliding my body against his. "Yes, I'm a jealous fool who can't stand seeing you with another man. It's fucking me up. I can't fucking think or sleep. I just love you too damn much... I apologize if my love sickens you."

Jealous, was he? Well, I didn't give a damn.

"Don't give me the same bullshit spiel about love when you're in love with her, too. That's what sickens me the most." The lies, when would it stop?

"I'm not in love with Hailey," he vehemently stated. He cradled my cheek, beseeching, "I've only loved one woman in my entire life and that's you, Cara."

"Stop lying to me." My lips quivered before my tears fell. The floodgate ensued. "I hate you, and I will never forget it." How belittling and irrelevant he made me feel by choosing Hailey over me on my birthday of all days.

"Baby, please." There was a tremor in his tone, but I was beyond seeing his hurt.

"Let go of me," I harshly demanded, almost spitting on his face as I tried to loosen from his tightened grip. "I said—let me go!" I shrieked as our eyes fought, but the man was unyielding, not lightening his shackles.

Consumed by every damning violent emotions, my palm unceremoniously found contact with his cheek. The slap burned my skin and left an imprint on his face, but he remained unmoving, uncaring if I was getting physical.

Pressing my lips together, I huffed air into my lungs, ready to strike him again, before I made a ferocious growl. Then he kissed me.

It was punishing, titillating, a mating of senses as he sought to balm his pain. He kissed me like I held the answer, like I alone could chase his demons away. Like I could make him whole again.

"Mine," he gruffly stated before delving into my lips again. Gently, he pushed me against the wall, destroying, consuming everything that I was, everything that I had been. He demanded it all. "Mine."

_No_ , my mind kept responding, wanting to send him to hell, but my body gave him free reign. His touch was my kryptonite.

With a mind of its own, my hand went south, taking control as it hazardously unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. I let out an animalistic sound when my hand grappled his endowed manhood.

"Jesus, I hate how I want you," I hissed as he let my lips go and began to nip on the skin on my neck, huffing, growling as he felt my hand jerk him the way he loved, hard and tight, fitting like a glove in my hand, just as he had demanded me over the years.

Opening my legs a little wider while my mini dress rode up, rolling over my hips, I led his cock toward my wet crevice, potently out of my mind at the anticipation of him driving his need into my pussy.

I cried out with divine pain and pleasure when I felt him slap my clit, sending sweet tremors all over my body.

"Please, I need you..." _To push your hips. To fill me with that cock._

At my unsubtle command, River thrusted, slipping his cock halfway into my juiced-up channel before taking over my lips once more.

Closing my eyes, I became lost as we rutted and mated like animals, making love as I clung to him, gasping, begging for him to end this incessant yearning to feel him come inside my womb. There was nothing more powerful than that very moment; us connected as one, the yin to my yang, the positive to my negative, the ugly to my beautiful, the love to my hate. We were one—one body, one mind—consumed and driven by one greater factor, the essential ingredient in life—love.

I loved him, but I would rather die than utter those words out loud. He was my crucible, but I would rather carry on with my life than surrender to my heart's primal commitment to him.

After our wild romp against the wall, I was beyond spent as he gently carried me into his room and held me like he didn't want to let me go. My thoughts ran riot, but my spent body gave in to the exhaustion, submitting to unconsciousness.

Sometime later, I awoke in the same position.

_What time is it?_ I wondered as I tried to move, but his arm was locked in place.

"You're not getting rid of me just yet," River's stern, unbending voice whispered into my ear. "Just a little more, then you can go as you please."

He was singing a different tune. Could he really be serious this time?

"You're really going to let me go?"

"I am," he stated, unfaltering.

Good, because I didn't plan on staying in his bed.

"You probably wish that I fall in love with her, huh?" he asked out of the blue, breaking me out of my damning thoughts.

Wish? Hardly. But it seemed going back to that wretched Hailey would make him feel like a man, so he could go ahead and get on with his life.

"I won't care." Maybe they deserved each other, the lying lot.

He laughed mockingly. "I know. You don't have to say it. I already know you don't give a flying fuck if I die tomorrow. I get it. I'm nothing to you."

"Then why do you keep me imprisoned in your arms!"

"Because this will be the last time. I'm quitting you, too."

His words stabbed deeply into my heart. It was moronic since I kept telling him that I wanted him to leave me, be with someone else. However, it was different when those statements came out of his lips.

Not wanting to dwell on the madness that ensued in my mind, I felt suffocated. Like a knee-jerk reaction, I had to get away so I could breathe.

"I have to book my flight for tomorrow."

River was still unrelenting as I tried to yank his arm away to no avail.

"I'll have a jet ready for you. I'll take care of it."

Damn him. Why did he still feel the urge to take care of me after all that's happened?

"You don't have to do that."

"It's not a big deal," he reassured me before I felt his lips against my ear, freezing me in place. "Promise me something?"

"What?" I croaked out, still holding my breath.

"Don't marry unless the love is greater than ours." His words intonated emotions that weren't being spoken out loud.

His request would prove to be difficult.

"I promise," I lied.

What else could I say? I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn't going to love any man the way I loved him. It was impossible to replicate this beautiful madness. He knew that. I knew that.

I stayed awhile. Five hours to be precise, before it was time for me to leave.

River delivered. While we were in bed, he managed to get everything done with a quick phone call. He didn't see me out, but I knew when I left his room, he was wide-awake, though pretending to be asleep. We didn't exchange good-byes because how many times did we have to put ourselves through that? Our silence said it all.

Anton had all the markings of a man who had the time of his life, sleeping with his mouth open with slight drool leaking out. I kissed his forehead before wheeling out my belongings. There was a limo waiting for me, all thanks to River, to take me to the airstrip.

# Chapter Forty-Seven

The week following the Vegas's incident was uneventful. Apart from my training at the gym with Anton, nothing had been going on with my life. I became so bored that I began to scavenge the internet for information about River and Hailey. Nothing had been reported. It was unusual since I was almost sure that he was going to run back straight to her the moment he landed back in Los Angeles.

"Hello, hello," I said, picking up Kyle's call. He had been in touch almost daily while in London. He hadn't said much about what was going on with him, but a lot was probably of his mind concerning the woman who got away.

"Just wanted to say hi. Any news?" he asked, sounding down and out.

"Nothing on my front. Boring, same old story; you know the drift." I was in the kitchen, making myself a light dinner. "Are you okay? When will you be back?"

He sighed heavily. "I'm, you know... Being here... It doesn't get easier, but it's for work, so I don't have much choice."

Setting the kitchen knife down, I considered his sad irrevocable situation.

"Have you seen her?"

"God no," he rushed out. "I don't think... I mean, to see her pregnant... It's just too much to handle for me. I can't. It'll be hard, and I just fucking can't go there."

He was tormented himself for not telling her he was in town. If I were in his position, I wouldn't even know what to do. But Kyle called me for a reason—to give him comfort while being torn into pieces.

"Listen, don't feel guilty for anything. I'm sure she'll understand either way... Whatever you decide, that is."

"Thank you, Cara. You have no idea how much you've helped. And I hope you know that I'm here for you, too."

I smiled, knowing that he meant every word. "Hang in there. Just come back home, and you'll be just fine."

"I know. Few more days, then I'll be okay," he said, seeming to doubt himself.

After saying our good-byes, I resumed making my dinner, when Anton came knocking on my door.

"Ah, right on time. I'm starving!" he exclaimed, inhaling the smell of the pasta as he openly salivated and strode straight into the kitchen and got himself a plate.

Smiling at my friend, I went to the fridge to pull out a bottle of wine I had previously opened last night. "Well, I'm glad to be of service to you. Why don't you just help yourself? A glass of wine, too?"

Anton took a mouthful of pasta before pulling up a seat on the table. "Oh, I'd love that."

Pouring him a glass, I then went to the kitchen to make my own serving before joining him. He hadn't brought up Vegas, which was his way on waiting for me to open up.

"Kells demanded that I dropped by here to remind you of her birthday party tomorrow."

Yes, the woman had texted me almost every day. She was ecstatic that Phoenix was throwing her one at his place. She wanted everyone to be there. I found it cute and endearing how those two lovebirds were so keen on each other.

"Kells already texted me, like, five hundred times. I'm bringing the cake. Yada, yada, yada."

He took another bite before giving me the eye. "Don't give me that look. I'm just doing what she asked."

He was right. I was just being cranky.

"Do you think he'll be there?"

Anton paused and studied me for a moment. "If he is, will that bother you?"

"That depends," I admitted without looking at him. "If she's with him..." If that were the case, good luck to me. Hopefully, I wouldn't have a breakdown.

"You know what I think?"

Toying with my pasta, I absentmindedly asked, "Hmm?"

"It won't be the end of the world if you did see them together. You're looking at this all wrong. Just focus on the bright side. You'll get used to seeing them, and before you know it, you'll be so immune that you won't even realize that you don't give a damn anymore."

"We shall see."

My friend was brilliant, but I wondered if Anton had fallen in love yet. Because, time wouldn't make a difference, whether it was a decade or a few years, the feeling didn't fade away because you demand it to. Once it left a mark, it branded your soul for the rest of your life. It stayed there, festering, rotting. It seeped into your very bones and the very fabric of your being. It ate you alive.

But what time did allow was survival once you accepted your fate. You learned how to live with the pain, the hollowness in your heart, the darkness in your soul.

Back when we were sixteen, after he proposed to me with that simple gold band he had bought with the money he saved for a whole year, River and I made a pact—a seal between bloods, our blood, with our written vows of love, faith and loyalty to each other, along with his grandmother's rings buried three-feet deep next to a sycamore tree in the wilderness that was a half a mile hike from Mattie's house. It was morbid, but we were young and in love. Maybe our bond got solidified with that blood. Whatever it was, getting over River had proven futile. The more I wanted him gone in my heart, the powerful my feelings became. He and I hadn't spoken about what happened to his grandmother's ring. He most likely dug it up after I left him two years ago, maybe not. It didn't matter, because he and I were done.

And I knew River meant it, too, when he had said he was quitting me. That meant everything about me. I knew he was hell-bent on moving to Hailey. If Anton were right, maybe witnessing them with my very eyes would make me immune to them once I got past the initial shock.

# //

Considering LA's traffic, it took me ages to pick up Kells' decadent three-layered birthday cake from MILK. After that task, I had to rush home to shower and get ready for the party. Phoenix's home was in Sherman Oaks, so Anton and I had to drive to the valley.

It wasn't premeditated, but Anton and I both donned all black. With cake in hand, Anton volunteered to be the designated driver since the chances were high for me to get plastered and what not. It took about half an hour to get to Phoenix's four-bedroom house. It had an old-school Hollywood in the fifties feel to his home. His home also had a lot of ginormous paintings that took up almost all of his walls. Most were abstract expressionism pieces. It was impressive.

"This is a nice house," I said to Kells, who proudly smiled as she led us toward the kitchen so we could take the cake out of the container. "I love the paintings."

"He did them all. He's quite the artist," she droned on with hearts in her eyes.

"Next time, maybe he can paint you naked," Anton cheekily suggested before plucking a mini cupcake from one of the laid-out trays. "Do we take this out in the dining area or are we just going to leave it out here and they can feed themselves?"

Kells paused, pondering what would be best for her guests. There were about fifty people filtering through the door, and by the looks of it, there were more coming. Most people were Phoenix's friends, so we only knew a few people here.

While Kells and Anton discussed back and forth, I scanned the crowd from the kitchen entrance. It gave me the best vantage point and enough privacy to spy on people. I was scouting one man in particular.

My eyes spotted him, honing in on his form as he came out from the powder room before my sight sharpened at the mark on his neck—a blatant lipstick stain strategically placed to brand her man to fend off other women. It was difficult not to be drawn to the engine red that marked his skin before he spun around to wait on someone.

My heart pounded with a deafening sound as my eyes landed on Hailey emerging from the door. There was no denying what those two had been doing in there. Didn't they care that people might notice? And what's more, it was Kells' birthday, for crying out loud.

"Asshole," Anton muttered from right next to me, seeing the very same thing I was seeing.

River really was moving on with her, just as he promised. Witnessing it made it all real. It brought it home that he and I were truly done. And Goddamn, it hurt so badly.

River hadn't seen me yet, and since he had his woman stuck to him, I had every opportunity to avoid them as long as I was out of their line of sight.

"Are you okay, doll?" Anton gave me a worried look before he took my hand in support, while I blankly stared back at him, still reeling from what I had just witnessed. "After Kells blows her cake, you can leave. She'll understand, so don't worry. I got your back."

"What about me?" Kells chimed in from behind us before her eyes followed where our eyes were glued to. "I told him not to bring her over, but the bitch showed up here, anyway. She's clingy and territorial, but River doesn't seem to care. If he's not sleeping, he's drunk or high. The guy's a hot mess."

High? River would never. He wasn't like that. Kells must have been mistaken.

I wanted to argue with her, tell them that it didn't matter, but I somehow found myself tongue-tied as my eyes followed him, watching how they interacted with one another. I didn't stop until they went out in the backyard, where more people gathered around the pool and where the music was booming.

Hailey kept touching him, and he didn't seem to mind. _And why should he? They just fucked in the bathroom, remember?_

Anton glanced at Kells then toward me before reverting his eyes back to Kells. "I honestly don't think she should be here. I know it's your birthday, but guessing from what you just said about that woman, she might come after our Sprinkles, and I might end up knocking her out cold. No one touches my baby without going through me first."

"I'm fine." I tried to smile, hoping it was enough to convince them. "Really, I'm... I'm okay."

What lies. I felt faint, about to pass out, but I couldn't admit just how badly it affected me seeing them up close and so fucking personal.

"Anton and I agree that you should go... if you really want to. Don't stay here and torture yourself because it's my birthday. I really don't care if it's my birthday, babe. There'll be more after this one. But there's only one you, and you come first. You've been there for me during my heartbreaks. Go home and just sit this one out please?"

Anton nodded before putting his arm around me. "I'll drive you home," he kindly offered, but if I was going home, I wouldn't let Anton miss out on tonight.

"You stay, I insist. That's the only way you guys can kick me out. I'll take Uber. It's no biggie."

After sending my request for a ride, I gave Anton and Kells a massive hug before bidding them good-bye. Staying in the house was stifling, so I decided that it was best to wait for my ride outside. I could do with some fresh air.

Most of the guests milled in the backyard where the party thrived, so when I made the beeline for the front door, there weren't many people around. Pleased that none of the people I knew were there to witness my cowardly action, I immediately shut the door behind me before taking a few steps before seeing River stood right on the pavement, deep in thought while smoking a cigarette.

Fuck, my entire system halted from functioning as I took in his form. He still had that scruffy look about him, and more beautiful than ever. He wasn't just River anymore. In my eyes, he was Hailey's man.

My eyes misted at the thought of that before it droned toward the cigarette at his lips. When did he start that awful habit?

Just before I could retrace my steps, River caught sight of me, turning me into a scattered mess. My mind went mad while my heart thumped in pain. With every breath I took, it didn't lessen the sting of losing him for the second time.

"Cara," he said in surprise, not expecting to find me out here. He took a few steps, leaving about five feet on gap between us.

I badly wanted to crawl and hide, but my pride made me stand my ground. "I'm waiting for my ride. It won't be long, so don't mind me. Just do what you have to do. We don't have to do this... Small talk, I mean."

Somehow, River seemed too dense to care about what I tried to convey. He had an odd expression on his face. It was difficult to decipher. It was in the middle of being sheepish and nonchalance.

"I guess you, uh, saw us inside then?"

It was crass of him to even ask. Anyone in the vicinity observed his insatiable appetite. There was no need to get a confirmation from your ex. Unless he wanted feedback. Was that what he aimed for?

"What'd you think, River?" My shaky voice came out with more emotions than I had intended. Shit. Why couldn't he just go on with his life and not bother with small talk?

"What do I think?" His eyes didn't travel anywhere else; they were stuck staring me down, like I could vanish in a heartbeat. "It doesn't matter... I never mattered where you were concerned, right, Cara?"

All the pent-up emotions ruptured upon hearing him lay blame at my feet. How dare he?

"Are you fucking out of your mind? Are you really going to head into that bullshit while everyone witnessed you coming out of that bathroom after fucking her?" I spewed my hate with utter disdain, hating and loving him on sight. " _You_ never mattered? Oh, that's crap! Did I fucking matter when you were surrounded with all those famous people? Did I matter when you missed my birthday because you had to walk her down the red carpet? Or those times I cried because I wouldn't hear from you for days on end? Did I matter then?

"I was supposed to be your fiancée, but I came last on your priority list. How did you think I felt when I saw those pictures of you kissing Hailey. Tell me, did I matter then?" Reliving those hellish moments never failed to enrage me, yet I took him back, time and time again, even after all the lies. I had loved him enough to believe his lies. And I had loathed myself for that.

"So, don't you dare stand here and make up all these excuses that you didn't matter. Stop blaming me for being such a whore! Maybe if you stop for one second and not think with your dick, maybe you wouldn't be in this position!"

River looked deadly as he locked his jaws. His eyes remained on mine before he took a step, about to close the tiny space between us.

I recoiled at the sight of him being so close. "Don't you fucking dare! Stay where you are!" I snapped, beyond ballistic at the thought of him touching me. He knew too well that all he had to do was touch me and I would be his for the time being. But no, I wasn't going to fall into one of his tricks in taming me. We were through, and I intended for it to remain as thus.

He raked his hand over his hair, making him seem more dangerous than before. "Why do you treat me like this? Was I ever this nasty to you after you fucked Kyle?" His eyes were dark ice. I could feel the heat and the cold of them seeping into my bones, slashing me with those fathomless depths. "How long did it take you to jump into his bed each time I left for Ireland, huh? All those times I laid my heart at your feet, you were laughing at me. I can't fucking get over that!"

"Oh, shut up already!" I bellowed, wanting him to vanish from my sight.

"That's what I've been doing, Cara. I've held my tongue, even if I wanted to fucking choke the life out of you because I thought _my Cara_ was different. But you proved that you've changed by fucking him, even after everything we've been through. God knows I've tried everything, but nothing's ever enough!" His face was inches from mine as he breathed down on me with such intensity I felt faint. "Well, you've got what you wished for. I've moved on, just as you asked. Does it feel good?"

Why couldn't he just leave me be and go back to Hailey!

"I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I venomously spat back, past caring that we were on the verge of killing each other.

"Good, because that's all we have left, isn't it? Devoid of everything... Because fuck, I'm numb with everything else but hate. I've got a shit ton of that."

I felt like I was about to have a breakdown, right here, out on the pavement.

"Stop... just stop." My plea wasn't answered as he closed the small gap between us, his breath caressing my skin.

"Look at me. Look at me, damn you!" His loathing cold eyes seemed dead, almost lifeless. "I hope you sleep well knowing that you've thrown everything away. This one's on you, Cara. This one's definitely you." He took one breath, then the next, before he cuttingly disconnected his gaze and began walking away, leaving me alone, reeling and wondering what just happened.

_This one's on you, Cara._

His last words hit where it hurt the most. The moment everything unraveled, there was no stopping the tidal wave of pain that was brought upon by my actions. River couldn't get over that I betrayed him. In his eyes "his Cara" was an angel. And after learning what I had been doing with Kyle, well, the was the nail to the coffin for his love for me.

We were no more. Tonight just cemented that.

_This one's on you, Cara._

He was right, and I wasn't going to ever forget it.

# Chapter Forty-Eight

"Is everything okay?" Kyle inquired as he softly trailed his lips around my neck. He came over for dinner and drinks and since both delights had come and gone, he was ready for dessert.

Eyes shut, my pulse was on a steady rhythm as I tried with every fiber in me to concentrate on what Kyle ought to make me feel. But for some reason, the thought of sex didn't appeal to me. The heightened urge to go cry myself to sleep held a stronger pull than any physical activity.

"It's that kind of night, huh?" he murmured, sounding more understanding than disappointed. He knew what I had been through, which was why he wasn't so particularly adamant on sex, though he did keep on trying.

Tonight wasn't an exception. This was his tenth try in a span of two weeks, all to no avail. My heart was broken, and for the life of me, I seemed to have lacked the capacity on mending it. I had done it once before. This time, though, the wound seemed too deep, my heart too shattered to even dare beat again. I felt dead, lifeless, as those dark fathomless eyes that cursed me right outside Phoenix's house came to mind.

"How long do you plan to mope in your apartment? You have to speak to him, Cara." Kyle sighed before leaning back against the couch with his head resting on my shoulder. "I don't think you've noticed, but you've lost weight. Whatever's eating you inside, you have to fix that, pretty one."

"I just need more time. I'm sure I'll be okay." I sounded so hollow that I barely recognized my voice. I hardly had the capacity to convince myself, so I doubted Kyle bought the lies.

How did one say that she didn't know where to begin? My spirit had all but dissipated, and all I could think about was that tragic moment.

_I hope you sleep well knowing that you've thrown everything away. This one's on you, Cara. This one's definitely you._

He plagued me, and now it was I who couldn't sleep.

Kyle stayed for another hour before leaving for the night. He seemed so worried about me. He believed that if I resolved this conflict with River, I would be in better form. But what he couldn't comprehend was that I wasn't ready to speak to River, even on friendly terms.

Him running into Hailey's arms was an example of how warped this all was. He really wasn't with her, not in the sense that mattered. His heart yearned for me, but he wouldn't let his battered ego take his manhood away. So, he ran toward the person who would hurt me the most, just as I broke his heart by sleeping with Kyle. He was out for revenge, and he damn well knew how to serve it to me—cold and rotten.

I had an idea how ugly it could get once he realized what I had done, but never in my twisted mind did I picture this. Never this.

It was perverse that he wanted us both to suffer. One couldn't have all the happiness while the other suffered, now could they? Oh no, he warmly conjured a sickened web full of endless pain with the both of us miserably sharing our down-rotten fate. It was brilliant in the most heartbreaking way. Fucked up, but beautifully brilliant.

And crazy as it sounded, my love remained steadfast, fiercer than ever. Sometimes I wished our minds could dictate to our hearts. It would make the world a better place with less people impaired from broken hearts inflicted by soulless people who had altered their rose-tinted beliefs in life.

Just as expected, the night haunted me with the same bittersweet memories of the past. Even drinking myself to stupor wouldn't kill the blasted memories. They came alive and torture me until my heart could bear it no longer.

It was becoming such a wearisome habit, waking up in the afternoon. Wallowing about my misfortunes wasn't one of the things I liked to exercise, but as stated before, I couldn't shake away the ill-gotten feeling that festered in my soul.

Still shifting in my bed, I reached out for my phone to check what time it was. Three-thirty. I slept thirty more minutes than yesterday.

I had a missed call from River. Time froze as my once tired eyes vanished while staring at the screen. He called three hours ago, and evidently left a voicemail.

With bated breath, I pressed play.

_"Hey, I know I promised never to call you, but I'm hella excited, and you're the first person I wanted to share the news with that I'm working on an album. It's crazy, I know. I didn't think this could happen... but it fucking did. So, yeah, and uh, I'll be playing at the House of Blues tomorrow. I'll be playing two songs that are mine, and the rest will be covers. But yeah, will you please come? It'd mean so much to me if you could pop in and give a little support. You've always been there in every huge milestone I've had. This is another, and I want you there. I need you there."_ He paused. _"Cara... I hope you're okay. Well, uh, hope to see you. Good-bye."_

River undoubtedly was ready to pursue his music. I was unquestionably ecstatic to learn that he was about to achieve another dream that he had once longed for.

He had swallowed his pride and called, and by the sound of his voice, the undeniable excitement when he announced that he was making an album, I knew he was going to put his heart, soul, sweat, and blood into his music. He would channel everything in there, creating all the ugliness into something beautiful.

As elated as I was for him, I couldn't for the life of me decide if I was ready to face him. He was still with Hailey, and she wouldn't pass a great opportunity for publicity. She would definitely be all over this, like bees to honey.

So, who do I call to relay my present conundrum? I immediately speed-dialed Kyle.

The man took the call after two rings.

"Don't tell me you've just woken up. You're not a vampire, so you better fix that schedule and join the rest of us normal human beings. It's been two weeks, Cara. Anyone would agree that your time's up from mourning your first love. Take a page from my book. I'm still fucked up, but I'm on top of my game. Success is the only thing that might make you feel better. Doesn't come close, I know, but it's a good consolation, no less."

Kyle was a few years older than me, but his advice made sense. However, putting thought into action laid the difficulty.

"Thanks for the insightful advice, Dr. Matthews," I sarcastically drawled before making a small yawn. "He called and left a voicemail. He's pursuing music and has a gig tomorrow. He wants me to be there. Any advice on that since you're on a roll today?"

"Well, are you planning on going?"

"Should I?"

"Don't you want to see this for yourself? You guys grew up together, so I'm sure you know how much this means to him."

"But that was before," I argued, wondering where I would get the wherewithal to sit a few tables down from the woman who I loathed more than anything else.

Instead of celebrating River and his music, I would be focused on Hailey. Besides, what would I say to River if given the chance to speak to him? Yeah, thinking about the whole ordeal made me feel emotionally drained and paralyzed.

"I think he knows that, too, but he still called and invited you. He swallowed his pride and called you. That's saying a lot."

"Maybe he just felt obligated 'cause we have mutual friends, and I might hear it from the grapevine." That could be it, too. Kells would already be Phoenix's date, and since she didn't socialize without her friends, she was most likely going to stretch the invite to Anton and I. River basically cut out the middle person out of respect.

"Or maybe you're just making these excuses because you aren't ready to move past the anger."

Seriously, was Kyle on my team or what?

"You sound like you know more than I do. So, tell me, what would you do if you were in my place?"

"I wouldn't even think twice, Cara." There was no hesitation. "But you're not me."

"Well, thank God for that!" I meant about him not being me. "I hate when life puts you in situations where it lets you choose whether you prefer to chop off your own finger or your heart. But enough about me. Where are you, anyway?" The background was loud.

"I'm at the airport, waiting to board a flight. I have to fly out to New York. We're having a problem with a client who wants to get out of a five-year contract. It's complicated."

Complicated indeed. "Well, good luck with that. Safe travels to you, Dr. Matthews." I smiled as I bid him good-bye. The man had a way of lifting my spirits. And, at times, he had a manner of making me feel naive and juvenile.

River left me with a lot to ponder. And when Anton came over to announce that he would be attending, my answer should have been clear then, but I was still deep in contemplation.

The day came and went, and by the time dawn rolled in, my decision hadn't been made. By mid-afternoon, even though I hadn't made up my mind, I took it upon myself to shower, priming myself in any case I might really want to see him play.

Before Anton left to dine with Kells and Phoenix, he dropped in to double-check if I would change my mind and join them.

"I haven't decided yet," I said as I gripped the lapels of my robe, feeling out of my element. "Call me when you do. We'll come on by to get you, okey-doke?" Anton kissed my cheek before giving me the tightest of hugs.

I merely nodded before bidding him good-bye.

It took me ages to figure out what I wanted, and when I did, there was only half an hour left before he was set to start. Hastily dressing myself with white jeans and a V-neck shirt before slipping into my new red booties, I rushed out the door.

"I'll stay for the first two songs, then I'll just dip out," I muttered to myself as I pulled into traffic.

Had I decided an hour ago, I wouldn't be in such haste. It took me forever to get there, but thank God I made it just in time.

Upon entering the known establishment, I stood paralyzed as I watched the man I loved from afar. He was on stage with his guitar and the biggest smile I had seen on his face. This was a proud moment, and I was almost in tears seeing how honored he was. And mind you, the man looked beyond deliciously gorgeous. I had the damnedest time tearing my eyes off him.

"How's everyone tonight?" he asked into the microphone before his eyes began to scan the crowd, as if looking for someone.

"Give 'em hell, baby!" Hailey howled from the crowd, blonde hair flailing about her excited form. She was a bubble of enthusiasm, and I wanted to poke a needle in her and burst her blasted bubble into thin air.

Hatefully scrutinizing that wretched wench made me want to vomit. For the life of me, I couldn't take another step and join the rest of my friends. I thought I was brave enough to ignore Hailey while she looked up at River with her hands together on her chest, gazing up at him like she was in love with a god.

Why did I bother? _Because you can't resist. You want to be there, too._

He had asked for my support, and I freely gave it. But putting myself through this arduous process of almost being friendly to his girlfriend would be overkill. And so, I retracted my cowardly steps back to my car and drove off.

It was a shameful thing to be in my position. My heart couldn't take it.

At home, I sulked in bed with a pint of coffee frozen yogurt while watching Rose and Jack make love on screen. Then, of course, I cried myself to sleep. I was miserable.

# Chapter Forty-Nine

"You don't sound good. Guess that means you didn't go, huh?" Kyle observed from the wretched tone of my voice.

Pulling a pillow somewhere, I placed it over my head before grumbling, "Thanks for waking me up. My life really must be that interesting if you're keen to know."

He chuckled. "Let's just say I really like you. Fuck, I want you for myself, but this isn't about me. If you can fix this, you really should before it's too late."

"So, you want me, huh?" I smiled through my pain.

Kyle was always teasing and so light-hearted that it was difficult not to adore him.

"You know I want you a great deal, Cara. We click, and let's just say the sex is a fucking good bonus, too. What more can a man need?" He was straightforward with his intentions, blatant and impenitent.

"So, you're basically waiting to see what will happen so you can sweep in and take me for yourself, is that it?"

He chortled on the other end of the line. "Like I said, I want you. If things are really over between you two, then I'm more than happy to step in and take you for myself."

"Because the sex is good?" I pressed, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"That and because you're so fucking scrumptious. What man wouldn't want you, Cara? I'd have to be blind or gay not to fucking desire you. Above all, you're funny and sweet, and you have a good head on your shoulders. What more do you want to hear?"

There was never a doubt how Kyle loved the sex. The man was quite something else in the sheets. However, he was right; I had to fix whatever was ailing me with River or I wouldn't be able to fully move on. We hadn't had closure the first time, so I should have the decency not to let us both suffer the second time. I was done being spiteful.

"Gah, you've bombarded me with too much, and I haven't had coffee yet."

"Get out of bed, fix yourself a cup of joe, and get things rolling. I'll see you soon. Whatever you decide, we're good either way."

Kyle was a sweetheart. I was sure he and I would get on even if River was in or out of the picture. We had that kind of chemistry—easy going, no fuss, no hurt feelings.

Since I had vowed to stop being so spiteful, I swallowed my colossal pride and dialed River's number.

It rang... and rang... and after the fifth ring, I was about to hang up when I heard him say hello. He sounded sleepy, like I had woken him up. Was he in bed with Hailey?

Bile rose from my throat before I swallowed it back down, telling myself to get a fucking grip and focus on the task at hand—which was to extend an olive branch.

"Hey, it's me. I was wondering, um... if we can talk," I babbled fretfully as I silently cursed myself for sounding so nervous. What was wrong with me?

There was a pause on his end before I heard him groan and shift from his position in bed. "Yeah, what's up?"

"No, I meant face to face. Can I come over to your place? If that's okay with you?" Did I sound a little desperate there? Shoot. Despite it all, I had to speak to him. I couldn't go another day with this deep-seated loathing in my soul. It was crippling me. I wasn't sure if I could properly function any longer.

"Yeah, I'm home now. You can come whenever you want." He paused before adding, "You're okay, right? Nothing bad happened?" There was no mistaking the worry in his tone. It gave me hope that he and I could resolve this in an amicable manner.

"No, I'm fine. I'll go get ready. I should be over there in a bit. See you then," I rushed out before cutting the call short.

Never in my life had I been this panicky, not even my first time filming _Clover_. If I focused on my nerves, I wouldn't be able to move an inch, so I tried to suppress my erratic, anxious thoughts and fixate on the task of getting ready and driving to River's apartment without crashing.

Dressed in denim skirt, plain white blouse, and a pair of nude booties, I rushed out of my apartment with barely any makeup on. It was unnecessary since the man had seen me through my epic makeover fails through my teenage years. Like that one time during prom when my false lashes came off, and he had to help me fix them since the bathroom line was too long.

River was that kind of boyfriend, always there, even if he wasn't needed. He had loved me like no other, so we owed it to each other to at least be decently civilized with each other.

The second I arrived at his building, I immediately found parking and haphazardly got out of my car. While I strode toward the entrance of his place, I verbally rehearsed what I was about to say when he opened the door.

The concierge kindly greeted me, and after checking I was on the guest list, he gave me the green signal to head toward the elevator. My palms sweaty, my cheeks rosy, and my heart climbing Mount Everest, I felt faint and more alive than ever. All those days spent rolling about my bed seemed like a distant past.

My thoughts halted when the elevator stopped and delivered me to the top floor. Upon stepping out of the lift, I drew a lengthy breath before rubbing my palms on the roughened texture of my denim.

Slowly and gradually, I paced toward his front door while sending a little prayer above, hoping this confrontation would be cordial.

Braving it out, I licked my lips before pressing on the buzzer.

One... Two... Three... Four... Five...

"Cara," he greeted as the door opened, welcoming me in, wearing a black wife beater and loose, black sweat pants. He looked pale, paler than I had ever seen him. What was wrong with him?

My brows furrowed as I recalled Kells telling me that he had somehow became the best of buds with liquor and maybe some drugs. Hopefully the latter wasn't true.

Bounded with nerves, I smiled as I entered his home. My eyes instantly made a speedy scan of the area, wondering if I could spot anything that would indicate Hailey was here or had been here. What I found was a chaotic mess of empty alcohol bottles, red plastic cups, food wrappers, a massive stack of pizza boxes, and a whole lot of garbage as far as my eyes could see.

"What happened to your housekeeper?" Did she quit? By the looks of this place, the poor woman hadn't been around here in days.

In his pall complexion, he seemed a little embarrassed. "I told her to drop by next week. I haven't felt like dealing with a lot of people lately."

His words made me step closer to him, really eyeing him. Something was off; I could tell.

"Are you okay?" I asked timidly, not wanting to overstep my welcome.

"I just don't feel good. I haven't had a meal in forty-eight hours. Guess getting drunk didn't help all that much."

Jesus. The man needed red meat and stat.

"I came by to talk, but I wouldn't mind going out to grab you some food. You need something in your stomach to function properly." My appetite had taken a nosedive, but I still managed to shove as much frozen yoghurt into my mouth whenever possible.

He opened his mouth, looking confused, before shutting it again. "I'll be okay, Cara..." He gazed at me for a second before looking away. It seemed that looking at me was becoming a hardship. "Let's head over to the couch. Maybe that'll be more comfortable than standing here."

Nodding meekly, I followed his lead. This entire process seemed too formal and so unlike us, which made it more nerve-racking and daunting.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked softly as he took the couch next to me, facing me with such serious intensity that it left me feeling a little heady.

Nervously licking my lips, I stared at the coffee table before dragging my eyes back to his. The moment it connected, I forgot what I had to say.

"Last night..." I cleared my throat. "I hope you didn't take it personally. I really wanted to be there—oh by the way, congratulations. You're made for this. Music is your life. This is such an amazing time for you, and I hope you know how happy and proud I am to see you accomplish all your dreams. I really am proud."

His frown deepened. "Why weren't you there?" he asked in a soft-leveled voice, unnerving me.

"I was there, but I left before you began." My brows began to sweat. Why was he a little hostile? I understood that he might be displeased, but I came here to apologize, didn't I? Surely that counted for something.

Out of nowhere, River rapidly stood up like he needed distance from me. He strode toward the deck before retracing his steps back inside. He stood about fifteen feet away with an accusing look on his face. "And why did you leave? Did you have any idea how it felt waiting for you? In my mind, I knew it was stupid to hope, because all we do is fight lately. But for fuck's sakes... you knew how much this meant to me... And I hoped, you know, that we could put our differences aside to support each other. I almost pushed back the set, believing you might just be running late. I wanted you there—where it counted most."

I knew supporting him went beyond our vicious fights. We had each other's back, no matter the cost. This was one of them, and I had let him down. I couldn't have stayed, though, yet I tried. I truly did.

"She was there. It was just all too much too soon." Baring my soul made me feel a bit better, but not enough. "I'm sorry, River."

He sighed. "I really wanted you there," he stated sadly again.

What could I do? It had already happened. Next time, when he needed my support, I swore on everything that was holy, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And if Hailey happened to be there, then I would just have to wear my big girl panties and bear it.

River had been there with me in the lowest points of my life; I couldn't do it to him again. I owed him that much.

"I won't miss anymore. I'll be there for your album release, your first concert, and all that jazz. I swear to you, I'll be there. I know you're probably mad, and I'm sorry. I should've known that this meant a great deal."

"You don't have to make those promises. I know you hate me, Cara."

"I'll be there. I don't make promises if I don't mean it. You know that," I argued back before my eyes dropped to the coffee table and stared at the contents laid out before me.

Soft crystal white powder and his AMEX card.

"River?" I asked shakily before glancing at him. How long had this gone on?

"It's nothing." He shrugged the subject away like it wasn't a big deal.

Well, it was a huge deal to me, and his total nonchalance grated me to no end. My God, I didn't know this man. The old River would never even fathom touching such toxicity.

"It's not nothing! How long have you been doing this?" I had to refrain the urge to slap him silly.

"Not that long... It began the night I heard you scream his name." If he seemed beyond pale before, now he looked almost lifeless.

His response befuddled me. I understood his anger and where he was coming from, but cocaine? That kind of bullshit would get him into more trouble.

"That's ludicrous. You have to stop this! This is going to kill you."

"You sound concerned."

Was he mocking me?

"The fuck I am! What's gotten into you!" Rage filled me as I spat at him, wanting to smack some sense into him.

"Is this why you're here? To lecture me how to live my life?" He shut his eyes, seeming to run out of patience.

This wasn't the route for him. Not drugs. It could never be the answer when one was in pain. The repercussions were too high; the stake irreplaceable.

"River, please. Mattie taught us better."

His nose flared, eyes igniting a new flame of anger. "You bring Mattie up like you still care. You abandoned the very people who cared and loved you. You haven't seen her since you left. She's barely two hours away, and you can't even bring yourself to see her. Honestly, Cara, you've become this uncaring, heartless woman! You don't care about anyone but yourself, so spare me the lecture. You're not in better shape to judge me."

His speech hit close to home. I became this way because I had been hurt beyond repair. Still, I cared about his wellbeing.

"I am what I am. I'm not going to apologize for it."

"Good to know. I guess we're done here. You know your way out, Cara." Closing his eyes, he began to massage his temples.

I wasn't going to let him eject me out of the house just because he didn't like me prodding into his drug problem.

"River—"

He let out an impertinent groan. "My head hurts, and quite frankly, getting screamed at isn't helping. Please, Cara, I just can't keep bickering with you."

I wasn't going to let up. If this drug problem was a serious addiction, I was going to help him get through it. I might hate him from time to time, but that didn't mean I was going to abandon him. No, I would be his rock, even if he wished me gone.

"It's her, isn't it? The one who got you hooked on this bullshit?"

River remained mum, avoiding my condemning gaze. He was becoming overprotective of her now, too? Well, that didn't sit well with me. He could ruin his life in other ways if he so wished it, but drugs?

His parents both died from overdosing. So, for him to spiral into the very same pattern was unacceptable to me.

Armed with enough ammunition to argue with him until kingdom come, I purposely marched toward where he stood before cupping his chin so he couldn't avoid my scathing eyes.

I was just about to give him hell when I felt the shocking temperature of his skin. He was scorching hot. No wonder the man was pale.

"You're sick. How long have you had fever? Jesus, sit down while I get you medicine."

"I'm fine," he grumbled, but didn't resist when I led him toward the couch so he could recline.

Should I call for an ambulance? Noting his pallor, I was becoming nervous, hoping it wasn't as serious as pneumonia.

"Where's your medicine cabinet?" I asked while my mind buzzed with ideas with what to do next.

He shook his head. "It's empty."

I took a sharp breath. "What do you do when you're sick, then?"

"Nothing," he replied as if it should leave me unbothered.

Why was he so reckless with his body? The drugs, and now he didn't even bother if his temperature was beyond abnormal.

"What do you mean by _nothing_?" Glaring at him, I tried not to seem too alarmed.

"I always had you before... But after you left, I just didn't care anymore."

"God, you can be so dumb sometimes!" Disconcerted, I knew it wouldn't be wise to leave him while his fever was climbing. Men, I could never understand why they threw caution to the wind when it came to their health. "I'm calling an ambulance."

"Don't you dare. I won't speak to you if you do that. Promise me." He almost jolted to his feet, but had a dizzying spell so he fell back down.

"I promise." Why did I just say that? Damn, I have to exhaust all options before resorting to hospital. He wasn't critical, was he? Well, for one, the man was conversing with me, so that was a good sign.

Okay, think, brain, think! My mind zoned in to the only person who could help me.

"I need your help, like, right now," I apprehensively asked Anton after dialing his number. "Can you get medications for me?" I gave him the rundown, and that I was at River's condo.

Frantically going toward the kitchen, I almost said hallelujah when I found a Ziploc baggie before filling it with ice then scrambling back into the living room.

In the small span of time I left him, River had cushioned his head on the pillow and seemed to have fallen asleep. I was torn between waking him up and letting him rest. But worry won out. If I didn't get his temperature down, I would most likely have to call the ambulance and our so-called relationship would cease, or whatever was left of it.

Touching his forehead with the back of my hand, I cursed myself. I had become too caught up in my own feelings that I didn't notice how sick he was.

"I have an icepack," I murmured softly, hoping to reassure him. "It's going to be really cold, but give it a minute or so, you'll get used to it."

"Thank you," he responded with a wince as the makeshift icepack touched his skin.

"Don't fall asleep yet. Anton's on his way over to bring some meds... so just hang in there." Guilt ate at me. I couldn't stand seeing him in such as state. A major part of me thought he was heading into a dark path, one that he wouldn't be able to get out of if I left him be.

"You don't have to do this, you know. Don't feel sorry for me. I'll be okay," he whispered.

I wanted to take care of him, but it seemed that he wasn't comfortable in letting me nurse him.

"I'll leave once you've taken your medication."

His phone rang in his pocket, breaking the awkwardness between us.

"Do you want me to check that?" I offered, knowing he was too out of it to move.

"Could you?"

Doing the utmost effort not to touch him, it took forever to maneuver the phone out of his pocket. And when I did, I wished I had let it go straight to voicemail.

"It's your girlfriend." Yeah, it was difficult not to say that without sarcasm.

"Don't sound like that, or I might accuse you of jealousy," he muttered under his breath.

Though his eyes were closed, I felt him sensing me, picking up on my emotions, which was beyond bewildering.

I kept my mouth shut and instead of wondering if he was ever going to pick up his girlfriend's call, I stood up and busied myself with cleaning the litter around me, starting with the blasted white powder that irked me to no end. Every speck of it went to the sink.

"You just couldn't resist throwing that out, huh?" he grumbled in the background, but didn't sound angry.

Striding back to the living room, I harrumphed with both hands planted on my hips. "You know better than to waste yourself in this. I'm so pissed that you did. What happened to the vow you took about never touching drugs?"

River gradually opened his eyes, gazing at me with a deadpan look. "I could ask the same of you. You seemed to abandon yours, too."

He totally caught me off guard. How was I supposed to rebut that?

We grew apart. I was gutted, too. How did he expect me to stay in a relationship that was one-sided?

Throwing him a pleading look, I ached at the sight of him boring those pained eyes. "That was different, River."

"It's not."

"I don't want to argue with you when you're half-delirious."

"Huh." He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head before granting me those wounded eyes once more. "So, tell me, is the sex really that good with Kyle? 'Cause those screams, man... you sounded like you were getting murdered."

"Stop!" How dare he go there when all I was trying to do was help him? "Don't go there..." I whispered.

"I'm really curious. Can you blame me?" His jealousy was consuming him, and he didn't even have the audacity to mask it.

I joined him on the white couch, taking a seat a few inches away from him. My eyes wouldn't leave him, drinking him in, realizing that our love ruined us both. There was no escaping it. We were feeling the whiplash of our errors, and the only way forward was to keep on and not give up. We had to lead separate lives, and maybe in time, when we were both healed, maybe... just maybe, we could mend things again.

"You have nothing to say?" he pressed. He was holding it against me and wouldn't let up until I gave him what he dreaded to hear.

"It's just sex, River. You have it all the damn time."

"This— _you_ —it's making me sick," he confessed in the most heartbreaking manner. He looked like he couldn't wrap his mind around my decisions and why I had to throw and vandalize something so delicately beautiful.

"You don't mean that." My voice quivered.

"I do. You'll be my downfall, so please just walk away. We've said what we needed to say. So, go on. I'm not stopping you from moving on anymore. Just forget I ever happened to you these past months."

His words shredded my heart, my soul. He was gutting me raw, draining the life out of me. River never spoke to me this way, and it was bewildering to hear him say it to my face.

"Can you wait for a little bit longer? I'll go home after..." I came here to explain myself, but this somehow turned into something I couldn't control.

"I'm moving out of LA. I'm going east for a bit until this all settles," he stated in such a way that proved he was moving on with Hailey, away from me, away from the toxic hurt we inflicted on each other.

Licking my lips, I tried with difficulty not to cry. "But, why are you leaving?"

Pressing his temples, he let out a shaky breath before shutting his eyes as he rested his head against the cushion. "I just want to start over with my life. A fresh start without any reminders of the past. It'd be hard to do that here."

I was living a hellish nightmare that didn't seem to stop any time soon.

"But you can't just up and leave. Do you even like New York? Is _she_ moving out there with you, too?"

"She offered to help, but I'm not sure yet."

I was sure she did. Hailey was obsessed with him. I didn't doubt it for a second that she would leave everything behind to be with him. Was that the kind of woman he liked? A stage five clinger?

"When do you leave?" I tried not to picture them moving into a condo, doing all sorts of domesticated things such as cooking together, grocery shopping.

FUCK. My heart couldn't take it.

"Tomorrow night... The movers will come the day after tomorrow to finish the rest," he stated with finality that rendered me speechless.

I remained silent, embroiled in turmoil and heartache, loss and regret. His move entailed a far greater meaning. He was giving me the middle finger. He wasn't going to dwell on the past as I had done.

I should be happy. This was what I had wanted all along. Yet, that was further from the truth.

I didn't want to get back with him, right?

Simmering in my own entangled web of emotions, I barely heard the knock on the door. It had to be Anton.

Getting up from the couch, I strode toward the door to greet him.

"Thank you for coming," I said as I ushered him inside River's apartment.

Handing me the bag full of things I asked, he gave me a short, loving hug. "How bad is he?" he asked, sounding concerned. "I knew something was off the other night..."

Right, he was there at House of Blues, too. I was sure he witnessed Hailey draping herself all over him. Not that I was going to pry. I could only handle so much. And after the bombshell River had just dropped on me, hearing about how him and Hailey as a couple would leave me deranged.

"River?" I asked softly as I tenderly stared down at his quiet form, feeling helpless at his weakened state.

"I think he's asleep," Anton said, standing right behind me.

I was literally gone for a minute to let Anton in and River was out cold. Damn.

"How am I going to give him his meds now?"

Anton was downhearted, looking at River. "Maybe we should take him upstairs. He looks really uncomfortable."

Eek. Biting my bottom lip, I shook my head at my dear friend. "That might piss him off. We're not on the best terms."

"You guys fight, make up, fight again." He shrugged before mussing up my hair. "Trust me; that man would love to have your hands all over him."

_Not anymore_ , I thought. But Anton was right; River would rest better if he was in his own bed.

"Let's get him upstairs, then." Slipping off my shoes, I eyed Anton as I slowly woke River up.

Stroking his forehead, I gently leaned over his sleeping form before softly whispering into his ear, "Hey, I'm sorry to wake you. We're going to help you upstairs. Can you stand up at least?"

"Hmm," River grunted in response to my question.

"Okay, I guess that's a go," Anton cheerily announced before instructing me to take the opposite side before we gradually lifted him.

"Damn, he's really heavy," I exclaimed as I placed my shoulder underneath his.

Anton, being the stronger one, aided us slowly toward the stairs. River seemed out of it as I tried to softly speak to him, reassuring him as I asked him to lift his leg one at a time. We were beyond grateful upon reaching the landing. And in less than two minutes, we finally reached River's bedroom.

Gently, we lowered him down on the mattress. Pale as he was, his lips were redder than usual. Gazing at his tranquil face, he reminded me of a sleeping angel. Softly brushing his hair away from his forehead, I lowered my body and kissed his feverish skin.

"It's hot," River mumbled with his eyes closed.

"Can you sit up so I can give you meds?"

He gave a nod, shifting his upper torso just enough to gulp down the pills. He was woozy, so I didn't ask him to hydrate more.

Expectantly glancing at my friend, I let out a sigh before joining him a few feet away at the foot of the bed. "Should I turn on the AC?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea at all."

Well, damn. "Okay, I guess I can take his clothes off. Hopefully that'll help him cool down a bit."

Without Anton's help, I pulled the covers down and began to pull his shirt off first. It was tricky to maneuver his deadweight, but I somehow managed, sweating as I did. Who would have thought stripping someone was such a hardship? He only had his Calvin's on.

Just as I was about to put the covers back on him, Anton made a guttural groan.

"What?" I asked, turning to see what was wrong.

"I'm getting wet."

Christ Almighty.

"Oh, stop it, you pervert! The guy has a freaking fever; give him a break."

Anton giggled. "I know, I know. But are you blind? Oh, my gosh, this is a wet dream come true. Would you be mad if I took a selfie?"

I threw him a murderous glare. "Anton, shush!" This wasn't the time or place to be ridiculous. Seriously.

He held up his hands, still beaming madly. "Okay... Geez, it was only a question."

Rolling my eyes, I looked at him, hoping he would be more useful, instead of drooling over River's physique.

"What else can I do to lessen the fever?"

"Let me google it," Anton offered before pulling out his phone and typing on the screen. "Okay, wait—okay, so how about you get a cold towel and put it on his forehead?" he said as he scanned the page. "It says here to make sure his head is always cool. But if he's worse, wouldn't it be easier to call nine-one-one? I mean, what if this is something else? He's been very bad lately, and he might've had a bad reaction, you know."

He made an excellent point.

"He made me promise not to." My hands were tied for the time being. "If he's not any better tomorrow, I'll definitely call one."

"Well, you better get to being the best nurse in the world. He's dangerously hot. This could turn into something else, Cara."

"I know." It was dangerous to be toying with his wellbeing, most especially after the lecture I had spewed on him earlier. But... he made me promise, and I was going to keep it until I knew I couldn't help him anymore. "Keep your phone next to you just in case I panic."

"Will do, Sprinkles." He gave me a tight hug before kissing my cheek. "Try to get some rest, too. You look like shit. Still pretty, but tired."

"Thanks." I laughed as we slowly walked out of the bedroom.

Anton had to be somewhere, so I was beyond grateful that he took a moment out of his schedule to drop by.

After Anton left, I restlessly cleaned. It was a good effort to keep my mind off things. It took me about an hour to finish and polish everything back to its pristine condition before I joined River upstairs.

The second I stepped foot in his room, I heard him cough a few times.

Rushing to his side, I asked if he needed anything.

"Can you get me something to drink? I'm thirsty," he croaked out, barely opening his eyes.

"Of course." Pouring him a glass of water, I held it to his lips as he took small sips. After he was done, he let out a ragged breath before dropping his head back to the pillows and taking hold of my hand, halting me from moving away.

"I'm sorry," he rasped out before closing his lids again.

Two words, and my heart melted, all the pain we had caused each other ebbing away.

"I'm sorry, too." I knew he couldn't hate me for long. We never could.

Setting my alarm so he wouldn't miss a dose in six hours, I cautiously maneuvered myself next to him as I intently viewed his chest, making sure he was still breathing.

While the world carried on about their day, I found peace in the most unconventional of places. And as the minutes ticked, my eyes began to droop. Not before long, sleep caught me, as well.

# Chapter Fifty

The unending loud shrill of my alarm brought me out of my deep slumber. River began to stir, as well.

When I reached out to touch his forehead, his temperature hadn't gone down as I had hoped.

Barely awake, I slid off the bed and rounded toward his corner and took two pills from the foil packet before pouring water into a glass tumbler. His pale pallor didn't ease my worry.

"It's time to take your meds." I softly shook his arm to wake him up. "It'll be a quick sec, I promise."

He barely managed to crack his eyes open as he made an effort to sit up and open his mouth. I slipped the pills inside then held the water to his lips. He gulped it down with no hesitation before slumping back into the pillows.

He appeared to have sweated a little, so I figured I had to do something about it. I went downstairs to get a few essentials, such as a fresh icepack, a large bowl filled with cold water, and a towelette, before hurrying back to his bedroom.

"River, I'm going to give you a little bath to lower down your temperature, okay?"

He incoherently mumbled something, which made me smile. Back in the old days, we used to nurse each other when the other was sick.

Diverting my attention back to the half-filled bowl of water, I gave him a towel bath, running the cold wet cloth over his feverish skin, limb by limb. Once that was done, I dried him off with a clean towel before securing the comforter over his body. Then I carefully left an icepack behind his head, hoping that it would help with his headache and rising temperature.

After cleaning up my mess, I strode back to his side. His skin didn't feel as heated to the touch, which was a good sign. I knew I had to bathe his body a few more times to help lower his fever down.

Softly gazing at him, I prayed that he would get better soon. It had only been a little over six hours. Hopefully, by tomorrow the fever would break.

Sighing, I plucked my phone from the side table to check the time. It was five in the afternoon. I set my alarm for eleven o'clock for his next dose.

I reverted back to my old spot and situated myself next to him. For another hour or so, I steadfastly watched him breathe before that, too, lulled me to sleep.

The room was dark with only a few streaks of moonlight filtering through the curtain when the familiar sound trilled, indicating it was time to take care of River again.

Browsing through his fridge, I was aghast to find that it was filled with beer, bread, cheese, and not much else. Who put bread in the fridge? Frowning, I wondered how the heck this man survived without food? Oh right, he ordered in. I would have done the same, but it was past normal delivery hours, so I had to make do with what I could.

I scoured his pantry and found two containers of chicken soup. I took my time heating them in one of his white ceramic saucepans.

His kitchen was beautifully equipped. It made me wonder how often the man cooked. Then again, this new version of River, I barely knew anymore. The old one used to love cooking, but by judging on what I could see, he barely used the kitchen these days.

Making sure the soup had fully simmered before pouring it into a bowl, I then placed it on a serving tray, along with some fresh toast. This was the best I could work with, so hopefully he wouldn't mind it.

Gripping the tray on each side, I made my way upstairs, overtly cautious not to spill anything. He was still fast asleep when I lowered the food tray on his side table.

Switching the lamp on, the room immediately basked aglow.

Gazing down on him, I took one towel to gently dab the sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Wake up, sleepy head. It's time to eat a little bit before you take your meds." When he didn't wake, I pondered what to do next. Should I shake him or gently lure him out of unconsciousness? "River... wake up."

"Another hour... Just wanna sleep," he mumbled with his eyes closed then rolled his head to the side, avoiding the bright light coming from the lamp close by.

This patient loved being difficult.

"Honestly, River, if you don't eat, I'm going to force feed you. You know I mean it, too, so the choice is yours. Do you want to give in, or do you want to fight this one, too?"

"Christ, I hate it when you begin terrorizing me," he groaned before irritably sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

That made me grin stupidly. He was damn right.

"You know how it is." Even in the least opportune time, we still bickered like old people.

Peeking with one eye, he groggily watched me give him a spoonful of soup. He gradually opened his mouth as I fed him. And after the tenth attempt, he was begging to go back to sleep. I indulged him after making sure he took the pills. And in a heartbeat, he was out like a light.

Just like I performed earlier, I gave him a quick sponge bath that seemed to be helping, then made a new ice pack for behind his neck. The whole process took almost an hour, and by the time I finished, I was dire need of nourishment myself.

I managed to eat some peanut butter and toast with a couple glasses of wine. It was unusual for a meal, but what the heck, there wasn't much to select from.

It was extraordinary to be staying here, but I had already made up my mind that I wouldn't be leaving until he was better.

I strode into his walk-in closet in search of a shirt to sleep in. The second I entered the vast white space, I was instantly engulfed with his masculine scent, and my hormones went haywire. When would this addiction to him ever stop? It was becoming a drag, most especially when it took me by surprise. Nothing good could come out of it.

When I spotted the section of black shirts, I took one then ran out of there as fast as I could.

Biding time, I took a hot shower, my eyes scouting for clues of any feminine products. So far, there was nothing. It seemed that she hadn't been here or, if she had, she didn't come often. That left me with the conclusion that they conducted their affair elsewhere, quite possibly her home.

I remained in the shower for about an hour. The hot water was too therapeutic to resist. After finishing, with just his shirt on, I towel dried my hair and brushed my teeth. Surprisingly, my designated toothbrush was still right next to his, just like the last time I had left it.

Before settling into bed next to him, I decided that I would give him his next medication in the morning so he could have a lengthy rest. Turning off the lamp, I left the bathroom light on with the door slightly ajar with just enough dimmed lighting so he wouldn't be disoriented if he did wake up.

The California king mattress was big enough to give us enough space without touching one another. Basically, I was an arm's length away if he was in need of assistance. With my damp hair and too exhausted to care, I discreetly slipped into the sheets.

Sometime later, I wasn't sure what had woken me up, but my body was on full alert mode, mind trailing behind, still suffering from severe sleep fog, when I felt my heart rapidly pounding against my chest as hot hands skimmed my bottom, rubbing and cupping.

_What do I do?_ I silently panicked. The man was high with fever, but somehow, he couldn't resist touching me. Wait, did he realize it was me, or did he think I was Hailey? Fuck.

I pressed my lips together, trying to hold myself back from moaning as his fingers began to delve deeper into the curve of my buttocks, tracing the soft opening as he glided his middle finger forward. My juices trickled while his notorious digit sought the pearl button, rubbing it in a circular motion while he simultaneously began to nudge his hot manhood against the cheek.

His hot breath touched my skin as he tried to control his breathing. Basing from his engorged member that nestled between the crack of my ass, there was no mistaking how aroused he was.

His touch was still feverish, indicating he was still sick, but apparently, his cock didn't have an off day. Torn between wanting to confront him and indulging my cravings for him, I told myself that I would tell him to stop before this progressed further. But lo and behold, my yearning overruled common sense. And so, I kept on pretending I was asleep while I let River conduct his ministrations on my intimate parts.

Shuddering at the feel of him gently thrusting while trying not to wake me, the head of his dick began to slowly fuck my entrance while his finger incessantly circled my nub. He trailed his lips along the back of my neck before licking and kissing my skin as he sped up.

My pussy was beyond wet. It properly lubricated his thick length, but he didn't seem to be in a hurry to have sex. Instead, he maintained this tumultuous, mind-blowing technique, until I began to push my ass back, slowly gyrating against his cock, begging him to end this sweet, agonizing process.

Realizing my impatience, he roughly guided his dick toward my slick opening, putting pressure as it stretched the entrance, inching inside then halting halfway before pulling out of my pussy again. River unhurriedly resumed rubbing against my hole a few more times before sliding it back inside my channel for several strokes before pulling it out once more.

I was about to make my frustration known when I felt the tip of that determined cock hastening its way farther up toward my virgin hole. The moment I realized what he intended, I lied frigidly still.

He began to nip my ear, his middle finger hadn't left torturing my clit, as his massive member pressed against my untried hole. His ministrations were hypnotizing me to become subdued, making it easily to submit to his demands. My body began to relax, when I felt him apply more pressure, stretching, spreading my entrance. Through my fright, I hadn't realized how soaked my pussy was that lubricating my anal hole.

Letting out a strangled moan, my fingers dug farther into the mattress, gripping it as he thrust farther into me until he bottomed up. There was a tinge of pain, but nothing too significant that would demand him to stop. It was mostly that alienated feeling of being full. It was a foreign feeling that I wasn't used to at all. But apart from my discomfort, River was beyond harnessing his carnal needs.

He began to fully fuck me, no holds barred, ripping into my hole to entirely accommodate him, pounding into me full-force. Then he found my lips, parting them with his thumb, while his thick cock annihilated my anal canal.

"Your cunt is so fucking wet," he groaned as he pummeled harder, spanking my over-sensitized clit until I screamed bloody murder.

"Are you mine?" he demanded harshly as my eyes began to roll, seizing from the insurmountable effect of orgasming from this newly discovered part of my body. I could feel him expand, close to ejaculating, but he seemed to be holding it off. " _Are you mine?_ " he asked, punishingly hammering his dick harder, faster.

"Yes, I'm yours," I gasped as I tried to hang on for my dear life while wave after wave of orgasms shook my body. "Fuck! Fuck! Oh, my God!"

Tears sprung from my eyes when I felt him thrust a few violent pumps before unloading heavy ropes of his seed, surrendering to the inevitable.

"I love you..." My body felt drained as I tried to get air into my lungs. "I love you," I heard myself say again before passing out from overexertion.

# Chapter Fifty-One

Distant echoes of a phone ringing somewhere broke me out of my peaceful slumber. How many times had that blasted sound hounded me out of sleep?

I groaned out loud, my mind registering the odd feeling in my butt, snapping me out of fogginess just as everything fell into place.

Memory after memory came crashing down like a domino effect in my mind. Not only had I had sex with the fevered-induced River, but I had also made him ravage the other part that I hadn't dreamt of ever doing. It was a known fact that River's touch was fatal to my senses. There was no escaping it. Given that he had been able enough to have sex, I was sure he would survive being by himself now.

Slowly opening my lids, the brightness of the room made me flinch. Did I leave the curtains wide open last night? I couldn't recall.

Inching to the edge of the bed, I was about to push myself upward when I felt his determined arm pull be back into the mattress.

"What the heck!"

"You're not going anywhere," he grated in my ear before he roughly climbed on top of my body, trapping me with his own as he gravely stared down into my face. "Last night... I heard what you said."

His body was still beyond warm, but instead of focusing on his health, I frowned as I considered his question. Then my heart began to stampede as his question dawned on me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." What was he referring to?

His eyes were unflinching, capturing me with utmost intensity, raking my soul. "You said you loved me."

Oh, that! _I said it out loud?_

Frick. Frack. Frock. I had been so out of my bloody mind that I couldn't even manage to filter my mouth these days.

Nervously licking my lips, my eyes wavered from focus, needing to hide from his intrusive gaze. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I, um, was too overwhelmed. I wasn't thinking straight—"

Steadfastly capturing my chin, he tilted it slightly so there was no escaping his interrogation. He wanted to see my heart. He wanted to see what I was trying to hide from him.

"Are you... in love with me?" There was a short tremor in his voice, yet his eyes remained obtrusively unyielding. Those impenetrable orbs felt like lasers, ready to burn me if I wasn't truthful.

My eyes nervously flickered back and forth. I felt... everything.

"River, please—"

"For once just speak the truth, Cara," he unbendingly commanded, beseeching. "I beg you."

Oh God... What should I do? If I confirmed his suspicion, what would happen to me? He was pleading for the truth—my truth. What would I be sacrificing if I uttered what truly was in my heart.

Feeling beyond vulnerable, tears began to spring out of my eyes as I tried to avoid his gaze. "What I said is true... but nothing's changed. I hope you can see that."

He let go of me as if being close to me scalded him. "How can you say that? Do you know how long I've waited for you, Cara? Do you have any idea? Every fucking night... you've slowly killed me. I've given you my heart, my body—anything I could think of to make amends for my sins, for hurting you in such a cruel way. But nothing I did could ever heal your hurt. I'd drink myself to sleep because I couldn't stand knowing you're out somewhere with Kyle. And when I heard you that night after I came back from Ireland... I was beside myself. I did whatever I could to make this fucking pain... in here"—he smashed his fist to his chest—"to be gone. I wanted you gone.

"You fucked with my mind too much, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again. So, I did what men normally do when they're fucked up. But you must know, you've owned me from the very beginning. You're the only thing that I care about. You're the only happiness I know, Cara.

"When my days are dark, one look at you and everything is fine. I'm a troubled soul, but you calm the ghosts that haunt me. These past years without you have been some of the hardest years for me. You knew what you'd do to me if you vanished, and you did it anyway, punishing me for my stupidity.

"How can you ask me to let you go when you taught me what love is? When you showed me what happiness feels like? All of my happy memories—each and every one of them—you're in them. So, tell me, Cara, where do I go from here? Please fucking tell me!"

I was at a loss. Shifting my body so I could sit back, I toyed with the sheets, wondering where I could even begin explaining the intricate complications of my heart.

"Hail—"

"Do you honestly think I can be with anyone now, knowing you're in love with me?" River immediately interrupted. "Fuck no! I'm not letting you go. You're mine. You're always going to be mine, Cara," He stated vehemently. "Over my dead fucking corpse, I'm never letting you go."

The moisture in my eyes began to spring again. "You're going to hurt me again. You can be so reckless—I know you... I'll give you everything, and you're just going to shit over everything over something so stupid!"

"Cara," he whispered, taking hold of my hands and planting a kiss on each one before gazing into my face. "I can't swear that I won't hurt you. I don't know the future, my love. But what I can promise you is that I will never put anything before you ever again. You will be my priority, and whatever I do workwise, I'll do it with your permission. I'm not going to make the same mistake.

"I was young and impressionable, but things have changed now. We'll have to make sacrifices for sure, but it'll be worth it because we'll be together. We'll ride the highs and lows together. You and me, just like before, just like we're meant to do. We need each other like we need air to breathe, to sustain life, Cara. Stop denying us this second chance. We both deserve to be happy."

"You make it sound so easy." I sniffed as I tried to wipe my tears away.

River quickly brushed the remaining tears with his thumbs, beaming down at me like I was the most precious thing he had ever had the chance to hold.

"It won't be, that's guaranteed. But we have each other. We've gone through all the fucked-up phases in life, and I don't want to take another step forward without you by my side, babe. I love you. I've been in love with you almost all my life. Don't be cruel and deprive us another shot at a happy future."

I was beyond hysterical as I began to bawl, ugly big tears and all.

"Where do we go from here?" I sobbed through my nervous laughter, praying that this would heal us both. If we were miserable apart, being together surely was the answer. It had to be.

His lips touched mine like a slow fire, burning deeper, brighter as it went on. "We'll do it right this time. We'll talk, laugh, love, hate, and love harder," he whispered against my lips, promising the future with his entire heart and soul. "But first, I have to see Hailey and tell her the truth."

Hailey, right. Best to get that bitch out of the way. I couldn't agree more.

"Yeah, fix that pronto."

Our lips clashed. It burned as he thoroughly kissed me out of my senses.

"Stay put. I'll be back as soon as I can," he groaned out before kissing me once more. "Can you promise me you'll be here when I get back?"

"I'll be here, I promise." I would have promised him the stars and moon had he asked for it then.

My heart blossomed, all the agony it endured disappearing.

"I love you." He lovingly gazed at me, unable to tear himself away.

Beaming at the man who stole my heart, I whispered back, "I love you."

He gently pulled back, readying to leave as he intently watched me. "I always knew you still loved me, you know... But when you used to speak such vile things to me, I began to doubt myself."

Those memories hadn't left my conscience, and for that I was sorry for being such a glorified bitch.

"It took a while for me to understand what I was feeling. It was a terrible process. I hope you can forgive me for that."

"I know, and we're stronger for it." He crawled back into bed to kiss me senselessly. "Love like ours never dies."

"More like crazy," I muttered against his lips, hating that he had to leave, yet knowing Hailey shouldn't wait. Our future was at stake, and we wouldn't be able to move forward if her stench plagued us.

"I love you like crazy, Cara Quinn."

"Hurry back, okay? I just want to get this over with. It's causing me anxiety."

Fuck, this man was going to be the death of me. How did I ever manage to think that I could fall out of love with him? The man had captured my heart at eleven, seized my soul at thirteen, and conquered my body at sixteen.

"Okay, I gotta go. Love you again."

"Back at ya, babe."

# Chapter Fifty-Two

I was in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water, when River walked in with a crestfallen face. A mammoth indicator that all didn't go well.

"What happened?" I immediately asked, rushing toward him.

He seemed troubled, still in shock. At the same time, he looked confused.

What did Hailey do? I mean, what could she do to affect him in such a way? Did she hit him with something?

My thoughts ran amuck as I impatiently waited for him to describe his brief visit to her house.

River shrugged before resting his forehead against mine, holding me like I was the only thing that held him together.

"She didn't take it well," he slowly began. "I expected that. Of course I did."

" _But?_ "

"She made threats. She was hysterical, but I'm not sure if she'll follow through with it."

What kind of woman would do such a heinous thing, threatening a man who clearly didn't want to be with her? Was this how spoiled, little, rich girls acted?

"What kind of threats? She needed to toughen the fuck up. It's only a breakup, not a divorce. What the hell!"

"Work-related stuff." He shook his head in pure disbelief. "You do know her father's quite powerful and influential, right? It'll be really fucked-up if she becomes spiteful and asks him to meddle in my business affairs."

What a savage cunt. A spiteful savage cunt at that.

Putting my opinions aside, I focused on River. It was his livelihood she was about to mess with, which was beyond preposterous.

Channeling a cool demeanor, I tried to smile to lighten him up. "Hailey's hurt. We of all people know that when we're in pain, we say things we don't really mean. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about." I stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips before cradling his face. "If she really cares about you, she won't hurt you like that."

Vindictive people were mercurial. But if she cared for River, she wouldn't try to hurt his career. What kind of monster would do such a thing?

"Let's hope so." He sounded so depleted. It tore me to see him like this. "Cara?"

"Hmmm?"

He breathed out before lovingly gazing into my eyes. "I know it's been crazy and all, but... I just wanna say that you have no idea how happy you've made me."

Jesus.

"I love you, too."

It was overwhelming. Of course it was, but my mind lingered on Hailey and what harm she intended to do.

"Are you really sure?"

His question made me smack his shoulder, laughing. "I'm very sure. I've known for quite some time, but I was in denial."

He matched my grin. "Thank God you've come back to me. It's all I've ever prayed for." He softly kissed my cheek before holding me close.

We basked in each other's presence and our newfound bliss.

Our conversation was interrupted by Ari, his asshat of an agent. One I didn't get on with, but quite good at his darn job. River wouldn't be where he was today if it weren't for his help.

The call was short and, basing from River's face, it seemed the spiteful witch really had gone through with her damn threat. The saga he had just signed for, the multi-million-dollar contract, was now cancelled. Six movies all gone down the drain.

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." It was, and it was Hailey's, too. I would give her an earful the next time I saw her. How dare she toy around people's livelihood like it was some sick game she could pass her time by? This was beyond nonsensical.

"It's fucked up, but what can we do? Let's just move on, okay? At the end of the day, it's just money, babe." His buoyant outlook stunned me.

"A heck-load of money." It wasn't necessarily about the figures. It was more about petty Hailey becoming vexed from being dropped like a hot potato. If this had happened to me, and say Kyle intervened or what of it, I would gouge his eyes out. Thank goodness Kyle was a sweetheart. River surely knew how to pick 'em.

River wrapped his arms around me then picked me up, giving me more love than I deserved. "It sure is... But money can be found again. You, on the hand, there's only one of you, and I'd rather not have money if I can't have you."

Underneath all the loathsome things I thought of, deep down I felt responsible for losing him the contracts. Had I kept my mouth shut, he wouldn't be in this god-awful nightmare. Ari must tremendously hate me.

The man wasn't a fan of mine, and I was almost sure I had just made his public enemy list after today. I didn't dare begin calculating how much percentage he had lost on this one. It would be astronomical.

"River, are you sure? I don't want you to resent me. Maybe if I spoke to Hailey and perhaps convince her to change her mind...?"

"Let it be. It's a done deal, petal." He placed me down, smiling, assuring me everything was going to be okay. "Besides, I have music to fall back on now. Maybe this is a surefire sign that I should concentrate on music for a while. I'm almost done finishing the album, anyway."

"You're one optimistic man," I said.

If this had happened to a lesser man, he would probably drop me in a flash. River was one of a kind. I was one lucky woman, indeed.

"As long as you're with me, nothing can hurt me. You and a guitar in my hand, the only essential things I need in life." Kissing the tip of my nose, his love brightly shone in his eyes.

"You'll be great. Music's always been your main passion." I was with him through and through. Hailey could go suck a damn hairy fat toe for all I cared.

"Do you remember the promise tree? When I declared my love and made those vows to love you until the last breath left my body? I mean that. I was sixteen years old, but I knew I had found forever with you, Cara."

The promise tree. How could I forget? It sealed everything.

"Thank you for not giving up on me, and for always loving me the way you do."

"Someway, somehow, I know you'll always find your way back to me." His love was illimitable.

It took me ages, drifting in and out of hell, to get where I needed to be—right here, next to this beautiful, kind soul, who didn't give up on me, even though I had thrown nonsensical hurdles his way. His love had remained, steadfast and true. Forgiving didn't come easily for the likes of me, but I somehow finally managed to get there.

Second chances didn't seem so daunting of a possibility now.

# SAVAGE

Follow River and Cara's Story in Savage

# Chasing Beautiful

### Chasing Series Book #1

# Chasing Beautiful

### Pamela Ann

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Copyright © 2013 Pamela Ann

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, the please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Edited by

ALIZON & KRISTIN
**To all loves, lost and found.**

# Chapter Fifty-Three

I felt someone's presence before I was fully awake. When I managed to slightly part my eyes, I cursed inwardly from the brightness of the sunshine. _Great, I forgot to close the blinds again last night._

Willing my sleepy eyes to open a little wider this time, I was stunned to find Blake sitting on my couch, right across from me, wearing a dark scowl. _Why, oh why! Did I give him a spare key, again?_ _Ah, yes!_ _So, that he could have a place to go to if he was feeling out of sorts._ _What a genius idea that was!_

I rubbed my eyes and yawned loudly. When I finally glanced at his quiet form, he was still wearing a deep scowl on his face, and still not voicing a word.

_Okay_... "Good morning to you, too," I said with a sleepy voice that dripped with sarcasm. _What's with the attitude?_ I added inwardly.

"What the bloody hell were you thinking, Sienna?!" Blake's voice was grating and condescending, his beautifully expressive eyes—midnight blue rimmed with grey and flecks of gold in the middle—flashed with barely suppressed anger; stormy and formidable.

"Excuse me? What in the world are you yapping about, Blake?" His tone took me aback, I definitely wasn't expecting it. Was he drunk, high or something? He didn't look it, but still, that was beyond strange behavior. "Care to _enlighten_ me?" I asked, exasperated and annoyed.

I felt like someone had run me over; I probably looked it, too. _I'd give anything for coffee right now_ , I sighed at the thought.

What kind of mess was I in? I didn't recall stepping on anyone's toes before I left London to go home, _I think_. I just landed yesterday, jet-lagged and a little drained from my conversation with Luce before she left for Turkey with Toby _. And now this_...

Blake had barged in here like he owned the place with a demanding and taxing demeanor. _Wait, hold on. How did he know I'd arrived already?_ Ah, Lucy Connelly probably did the courtesy. She's my friend, my flat mate, and dating Toby Watson—Blake's best friend since childhood. I met Lucy at a college party. She was sweet and genuine, we'd hit it right off. She casually mentioned that the woman who she shared an apartment with left for New York to follow her boyfriend. So I'd immediately inquired about the vacant room.

I was living in student housing then, but needed my own place—away from cat-fights, drunken noise and drama. She offered excitedly and wanted me to check it out the next day. I moved in two days later and our friendship blossomed to the point where we became each other's closest confidant.

She went to school with Toby and Blake at the London School of Economics. When she started dating Toby two weeks after I moved in, I became friends with the two men; more so with Blake, though. We'd just clicked. That was a little over eight months ago.

"I ran into Lucy last night in Toby's flat, and she casually mentioned that you came back, without telling anyone, might I add. So, OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to visit you, but she stopped me, revealed that you were in a delicate state. So, of course, my curiosity was piqued. I badgered her until she told me what she knew and learned about your ' _little interlude_ ' with Kyle, _while his girlfriend was on the premises_. I believe that the intention of 'closure,' indeed, was lost on you." Blake's furious expression deepened when he said 'little incident.' _Oh, shit._

I blushed.

Shit-fuck-shit.

_He probably thinks I'm a hussy now, giving in to Kyle's advances._

I glanced away from him quickly. _Is he ticked off that I haven't called him about what happened and instead, learned it from Lucy?_ He even managed to sound hurt.

I'm sort of in a tricky situation; Kyle cheated on his girlfriend—with me. When I told Luce, she was shocked and felt wretched for me. So, it was really no surprise that Blake was angry.

"Yeah, about that... it was merely a moment of madness—I'm shattered about it. I mean, who wouldn't be in my situation? My emotions got the best of me," I said lamely. Or maybe I was just plain horny and had made a beeline for it!

I wanted to erase the whole entire visit back home from my lagging memory.

"How could __ you put yourself in that position? I didn't understand the bloody need to go and get 'closure'. He __ already started seeing someone else before he called to break it off with you. _Have you forgotten about that?_ He's a cheater! Yet you still went prancing back to Los Angeles, and to make matters worse, he took advantage of that. You were intoxicated and placed yourself in _danger_!" His scowl deepened. "You could've been hurt, Sienna."

I was, not in the way he was implying, but my heart and pride were crushed. "Good God. I was in no way or shape in any danger. You seriously exaggerate and blow things out of proportion! Really now, Blake... it's Kyle we're talking about here. He would never hurt me, not like that." I fidgeted with my lemon chiffon-colored, six hundred count sheets, trying to gather ground.

_Was it really pathetic to look for closure? No, but if the guy in question had cheated, surely closure is out of the question?_ my thoughts queried.

Blake sighed deeply and got up from the couch, standing in front of me, holding out his hand. His frame dominated the room. It was a pretty decent size, but put Blake's presence anywhere and the result would be the same; size be damned. He had that pulling power around him and his dark good looks just enhanced it.

He was dressed in nude chino shorts, a blue dress shirt that was pushed back to his elbows and tan, soft-leather loafers. He looked like he had just stepped out of a Dolce & Gabbana summer photo shoot. Sometimes I wish he was average looking; then it would be easier to look at him without melting.

A few strands of his wavy locks fell onto his forehead. Looking down at me, his beautiful face was complacent. "I made the courtesy of brewing some coffee. Come, you look like you need some." _Oh, don't I just._ I took his outstretched hand and he pulled me out of bed. "I was worried, Sienna. I care for your well-being. Don't be cross." I looked down, not meeting his gaze.

The man towered over my five-foot-two stature. Blake inhaled deeply, smelling my forehead before kissing it, then he grabbed my hand and we walked toward the kitchen where the smell of freshly brewed coffee emanated, drawing me closer.

He didn't utter another word until I'd had my first sip of caffeine. "How are you really feeling? Okay? Not okay?" Blake was studying my reaction, pensive.

"Yes—no— _I don't know?_ Can one ever be okay after a broken heart?" I shrugged. "I'm sure I'll move on, but I doubt I'll put my heart out there like that again. It was traumatizing enough doing it once. Being vulnerable is something I don't take lightly—with my background and all." I sipped my scalding coffee without batting an eyelash. It was true; vulnerability reminded me of my demoralizing childhood and Hell would freeze over before I put myself in that compromising position again.

Blake's handsome head nodded in agreement with evident understanding. He had an idea of my rotten years of misery, but had never really pushed me to talk about it. I appreciated it and respected him for it.

Both of our parents died when we were young and it was something we had in common. It gave us a platform of understanding. A place where we didn't have to explain, but we simply understood the pain, the loss, the daunting uncertainty of loneliness and the frightening feeling of what looms on the horizon.

Blake and I immediately became close after Lucy started dating Toby. We liked the same books, shows, board games, amongst other things. We hit it off right off the bat and hung out once a week or so when he wasn't busy with his women, and there'd been a lot.

In the beginning, both Luce and Toby thought we would start dating, too, but after a few months of insinuating, they finally let-up—accepting the fact that we clearly _were_ just friends, platonic friends. I must admit that, at times, my mind drifted off and I imagined what it would be like to date someone like Blake. Six-foot-three, all muscles and the most arresting face; full lips, straight nose, chiseled jaw and his unique eyes were hypnotizing.

Sometimes I got caught up staring into those eyes and forgot where I was. Blake was the sexiest man—sinfully beautiful—my eyes had ever graced. I always snapped myself back to reality when I reminded myself that he was only a good friend and he dated tall, beautiful, leggy, statuesque women; preferably lingerie models. My Coca-Cola-bottle-shaped form did not stand a chance. Sure, most red-blooded males found me desirable and gorgeous, but with Blake, I simply felt Plain Jane.

"...so it should be okay, right?" I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying and my dumbfounded look seemed to annoy him. Glaring at me and combing his hair with his right hand, he looked frustrated. Something was bugging him. "Sienna... I was asking you if you wanted to eat breakfast."

"You haven't had breakfast yet? How come? You never leave anywhere without eating first thing in the morning..." I trailed off. "Hold on, how long have you been here, sitting and scowling at me like a bear with a sore head?!" My accusing green-gold eyes held on to his midnight silver blue.

"Awhile..." I glared at him some more, not budging. "Okay, okay. I think... quite possibly around four in the morning, I suppose?" He looked sheepish admitting that and he started to run his fingers through his dark locks, again. That habit came out when he was anxious. He didn't know that I knew that, but I'd noticed it enough. I noticed everything about him.

_Did I hear that right? He's been here since four in the morning?_ "WHAT!?!" _Oh, hell_. He was really pushing it. People break-up and get hurt all the time. There was no need to go to such lengths on my account.

"I was concerned about you. I was worried and wanted to see for myself that you were okay. You're one of my closest friends, Sienna. Sometimes, even more than Toby; I didn't want some bloody, idiotic wanker treating you badly—as though you're worth _nothing_! You weren't picking up your bloody phone so I rushed over—like the good friend that I am—checking if you'd drunk yourself to a stupor or what of it."

"I was sleeping! So obviously, it was on silent!" I snapped at him.

_He has a very active imagination. How will he run his granddad's empire if he's extremely paranoid? The whole company will crumble under his thumb in a week!_ The thought made me smile. That would be a sight to see. Knowing how he was, though, he'd excel and surpass everyone's expectations like he always did.

His frown deepened.

I scowled.

Not able to stand the feeling of being at odds with him, I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the couch.

Our living room was painted in egg-shell yellow and consisted of two huge couches, an HD television and a coffee table as well as other knick-knacks to make it warm and inviting. The contrast of dark, wooden floor and a huge, baby blue area rug gave it a homey, cozy feel. It was spacious and airy at the same time, never stifling. I loved that flat. I felt like I belonged there.

We sat next to each other on one of the dark, mustard colored couches, touching at our shoulders and thighs. I glanced down and studied the outline of his well-toned, muscular thighs, my eyes full of admiration. Uncomfortable, I looked at my very skimpy, cotton, soft-pink baby doll dress and felt a little flustered.

_How the heck did I manage to forget that I'm wearing almost next to nothing?_ I tried to cover my thighs by pulling it down more, but there was very little fabric to pull.

_Get over it, I told myself. Blake won't be interested. Might as well strip naked and test it. He'd probably beg you to get dressed before you embarrassed both of us more._ I smirked at the thought.

I tended to push his buttons a lot, much to his dismay.

"Look, Blake, I apologize for my rude behavior. I'm sure if something happened to you, I would do the exact same thing. I was just taken aback. Thank you for caring. It means a lot to me. I suppose I should've seen it coming with Kyle. We hadn't seen each other for nine months and we'd grown apart tremendously. The signs were there, but I ignored them. Somehow, deep down, I might've guessed that it was bound to happen. Kyle was a big part of my past and it's sad that things had to end this way. We could've parted on nicer terms, but it happened and I just have to accept that." That seemed to lighten his mood; just a _tad_ bit.

I took his right hand with my left and squeezed it tightly. Holding it, he took his other hand and touched my chin, making me look straight into his eyes, our faces only a few inches apart. I felt my stomach drop and I was mesmerized. _I've never been this close to Blake. WOW! He easily takes my breath away. He's so beautiful! Be still, my heart._

"Are you sure you're okay? Tell me, honestly? I want to beat his bloody ass to a pulp for hurting you! I warned you about that trip." _Obviously still angry and frustrated, I see._

Blake was such a good friend, maybe even a best friend. He cared for me. There were only a few that did and I'd treasure them forever. I suddenly felt like I had a lump in my throat.

I cleared my throat and reached out to hug him. "I'm a bit better now, Blake. Don't fuss about me! Sure, it was awful—you know—but the whole ordeal made me look at the bigger picture and I realized that I can't hold on to the past... even if it is something I hold dear to my heart. I have to let it go and move on," I whispered to him as my head nestled on his broad shoulder. I moved a little closer to his neck, wanting to rest my head and fall back to sleep again. He smelled delicious, which was a combination of a hint of lemon aftershave and something masculine.

He smelled divine; I sighed loudly. _How ironic is this? He came here to console me and here I am thinking naughty thoughts about him?_

I hated it when I got that weird feeling with Blake; it happened once in a while and, to be honest, it made me act awkward afterward. I was a woman and just because he was my friend, it didn't make me immune to his charms or his striking looks. _Or his mouth-watering smell_. GAH!

I released him from my hug and sat back to enjoy my coffee.

Clearly my reaction to his smell bothered me. "Let's get you out. Let's do something fun; after we have breakfast at The Wolseley?" Blake looked like he was trying to conjure a plan.

"Like what?" I thoughtfully asked him, knowing well enough that he didn't quite know what the heck it was. He loved throwing ideas out and acting on them, spontaneous man that he was.

"Whatever you fancy," he said it with purpose as he sat back, splaying both arms on the back of the couch, legs both on the table, resembling a Greek god, lazing about with sheer contentment. His strong, thick, powerful legs were showcased before my lustful eyes.

_Is there anything this man is made of that isn't sinful_? Everything about him screamed of sin and sex and I was hot and bothered. _Am I always this hyper-aware of Blake?_ _Has it always been like this_? Quite possibly. It was too much; my sleepy state couldn't process the heavy confusion and the coffee seemed to be working weakly.

Hell.

"Knightly, it was your idea. If you ask me, I'd rather sit at home and just sleep some more. Oh! How about we just watch movies here all day on the couch?" I smiled sweetly at him. _Give in, please. I don't want to shower and get dressed_ , I thought lazily.

"That would not be a good idea, poppet. Get up, you little skive, and get dressed! I'll have it figured out before we leave, all right?" Blake ordered, giving me his signature killer smile complete with his sexy dimples showing.

I loved it when he called me poppet in that cute, British accent. Truth be told, I had a hard time saying no to him when he dished out _that_ type of smile and he bloody well knew it.

I groaned, got up and threw a hap-sack pillow at his head. "This better be worth my time, Knightly." I gave him my I'm-not-so-amused face and started to leave when he suddenly pulled me down next to him on the couch.

"Do you trust me?" Indeed, I did. I nodded and went to my room to get changed.

Why was he being so intense about the whole Kyle thing? It was absolutely uncanny. I wasn't sure if I liked him being that way toward me.

# Chapter Fifty-Four

Showered and ready to go, I gave myself a once over in the full-length mirror that hung on my bathroom door. I wore a powder blue, cotton dress that was fitted tightly around my torso and flared nicely at the bottom, sitting two inches above my knees. I accented the dress with mustard-colored, wedge espadrilles and hastily placed my naturally wavy, dark hair in a loose bun, evoking simplicity while still achieving a sexy look.

I applied tinted moisturizer, pink gloss and just enough mascara to bring out my bright green eyes with a burst of gold popping out of them. It was one of my best features. Even if I felt like death inside, I needed to look at least presentable. It was part of the coping mechanism I learned when I was ten years old—always look put together.

My golden-brown skin could be credited to my Brazilian/Caucasian mixed heritage. Spritzing my signature Coco Mademoiselle, I grabbed my tan Botkier tote and headed toward where Blake was patiently waiting for me.

I found him in the kitchen on the phone. He turned around and gave me a swift examination before ending the call. "Ready?" he politely asked, as he stayed rooted to his spot.

"Yep."

"To breakfast, _milady_." He held out his arm to link with mine.

I smiled stupidly at him as we walked out the door and straight to the elevator. "Figured anything out yet?" I questioned, referring to 'his plan of action'.

"Sorted as promised, but it's a surprise..." He looked impish and smug so I nudged him.

As we emerged from the elevator, we headed toward the main entrance. "You have got to be joking! Why does it have to be a surprise? I _hate_ surprises!" I exclaimed. I _did_ hate surprises because surprises were horrible, _every_ single time. So, I was a tad skeptical about that one.

"You did agree to trust me; remember, poppet?" he asked, gazing at me with a playful smile as the sunshine accentuated his beautifully sculpted features, making him look annoyingly sexy as we hit the sidewalk.

A few women who passed by stared openly at him. A harried woman stopped, halting in her tracks, awed, and just ogled—previous destination long forgotten as she was rooted to the cement sidewalk. Yeah, yeah he was hot. _So what?_ I wanted to snap that woman out of her trance.

Don't get me wrong; I adored Blake. I thought he was smart, articulate, funny, crazy talented and had a heart of gold, which was reserved for those he trusted, but it could be exhausting to be his friend. Lucy had the same problem. We were the only women that Blake was friends with so we were constantly hounded for trivial information. _Anything_ , to help them out, they'd say. "Right, if Blake really wanted a woman, he'd pursue her relentlessly, not the other way around," had been the reply out of Lucy's very owns lips.

I went to a Fashion School, majoring in Fashion Marketing, and of course, the women there asked me about him after he picked me up from school once. He was parked on the curb and leaning on his sexy car looking absolutely delicious; that alone drove questions from six— _SIX!_ —adult, grown women who had their panties twisted. The girlfriends I brought from school to party with us a few times brought hysterics into the mix at their first glance. Like "OMG, have you SEEN that ASS?" or "HOLY FUCK! He's GORGEOUS!" or "Shit, Sienna, can you hook me up?" There was more, but I don't want to elaborate any longer; it was taxing on my precious sanity. Blake, of course, never hooked-up with any of them because they weren't lingerie model material.

Glancing at him, I shrugged. "Yeah, right," I said, thinking that the surprise better not suck or I was going back to my bed to wallow, sleep and then wallow some more.

_Jet-lag, thoughts of Kyle... what else?_

_Kyle... did he know I'd left home?_ Home was Los Angeles for me and where Kyle was. My best friend, my protector... my first love, my first everything—before he totally broke my heart almost a month ago when I got _that_ call.

Kyle and I had practically grown up together. He lived a few houses down from me. We were each other's strength ever since we were seven years of age and we'd never grown apart, until I left for school in London. After a few months, he started being distant and talked to me over the phone only very reluctantly, and when he did, he was extremely nonchalant. I explained away his attitude with viable reasons such as he missed me or he couldn't stand having me so far away from him and all. I had ignored the warning signs all too easily.

Wanting to bridge the wedge between us, I decided to surprise him. I had a two-week window in between semesters so I could easily visit him, but before I booked the ticket, he called me.

I was the one surprised.

That call had shattered everything that I'd believed Kyle and I had along with my belief that we were invincible. He told me that he'd met someone else and he had been seeing her for a month. He justified his actions by stating that it was too difficult without me there and he was lonely.

_Lonely?!_

Two years of being together, not to mention that we'd been best friends since the age of seven, thrown out the window because he was _lonely_?! What a cruel joke.

Of course, Luce, Chad and Blake consoled me and all three begged me to forgo my trip to Los Angeles. They'd argued that he wasn't worth it and I might just end up regretting the decision. However, I held my ground and still managed to book that blasted airline ticket.

I wasn't a coward and I needed to see it for myself. To hear him say it—I _needed_ him to _tell me_ that it was over.

Guiding me to the parked Black One 77 Aston Martin on the curb, Blake opened the door and let me in. The heady perfume of leather and Blake's signature aroma annihilated my nostrils, making my stomach churn; I _love_ his smell.

Opening his door, he slid onto the black leather seat next to me, pulled out his aviator shades and started the engine, pulling into traffic toward Piccadilly. Some of his hair fell on the side, looking like a sinfully sleek rock god, in control and dominating.

_What's with Italian men and glorious hair, anyway?_ Even if he was only half Italian—he'd certainly had the coloring and the hair thing going on. I couldn't help my thoughts sometimes. My reaction toward him came naturally. He was simply too damn sexy.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" I asked, looking at him to see his facial expression.

He smirked. "No, not really."

I frowned at his answer. "But... why? You could've confronted me in the morning, Blake. Why the need to show up that _late_?" I was nursing my ego, pride and my heart, but I certainly was not suicidal.

Blake exhaled deeply, his voice dark. "I needed to see with my very own eyes that you were not crying into oblivion or drowning in alcohol. I was worried. It didn't help that you were alone in the flat and I reprimanded Lucy for leaving you in the state that you were in, even if she argued that you wanted to go straight to bed." He looked so serious and started to get angry again.

"It's not Lucy's fault that I showed up unannounced a week earlier than arranged, and besides, they had planned a trip to Turkey. I wasn't about to have her stay back here because I had my heart broken. That's ludicrous! She was worried, but I convinced her to leave me alone. I needed to be left alone last night and I thought, deep down, she knew that it was what I needed." Blake looked pensive and seemed not to buy my argument.

I tugged at his shirt. "Blake, you can't seriously be mad at Lucy. She didn't do anything wrong," I was adamant that he believe me. I wasn't going to let him be mad at Lucy and he knew it, too. He was merely trying to drive me insane. They were my friends and they meant a lot. They'd become like family.

Taking my hand and linking his fingers with mine, he placed both of our hands on his thigh before he spoke. "I hate seeing you hurt, Sienna. You're one of my best friends; I cannot endure you being shattered and vulnerable. You've always had this easy going, happy attitude about you, and after you got that call, you've changed. I know you're hurt, poppet, but let me _help_ you ease some of the pain? You're not alone in this. If the situation were reversed, you would do exactly the same thing for me. Let me take care of you until you're better."

Surprised and astonished by his speech, I gathered my dumbfounded brain to make a response. _How lucky am I to have a friend like Blake?_ He didn't talk much about his family, but from what I had gathered from Toby, to those he let in, he'd be their friend for life. A sort of 'til-death-do-us-part type of loyalty.

Blake sounded too serious and I needed to lighten up the mood. Quirking my left eyebrow at him, I asked, " _Ease_ some of my pain, Knightly? Wonder how _easily_ you can manage that! Tell me where and when and I'll show up, _milord_." I wore a seductive smile as I batted my lashes at him, going for the full effect. _Yeah, sucker!_

He flashed his magnetic smile as he swiftly parked the car and killed the engine, giving me his undivided attention. "Are we frisky today, my sweet?" he drawled, brushing subtle strokes on my arm that still held his right hand. _Ha, I see how you're going to play this. Two can play that game._

"¿Cuánto me quieres, _papi_?" _How much do you want me, papi?_ I purred at him, knowing full well he spoke fluent Spanish amongst other languages. Papi meant daddy, but it was widely used as an endearment in other Spanish-speaking countries, mostly in a sexual situation.

I leaned over him, inhaling his smell as I whispered seductively, "Te deseo, papi— _dentro_ de mí." _I want you, papi—inside me._ Pulling back, I bit my lip and gazed at him through my lashes for the full-effect.

His chiseled jaw dropped while the air crackled, heavy with arousal. I felt him hold my hand tighter. He swallowed hard and groaned. _Okay_. I kind of over did that, but I couldn't help teasing him. I just wanted to see if he would take the bait and he had.

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. It was simply too intense; I had to figure out a way to diffuse the weird situation I had gotten myself into. Laughing always seemed to work.

"I'm sorry; I got carried away. I couldn't help teasing you. The opportunity was there and I just had to grab it!" I smiled at him with pure innocence.

He laughed his throaty, sexy laugh, too. "Woman, you almost gave me a heart attack! That was some sexy stuff you just pulled. You're lucky I didn't take the bait and have my wicked way with you!" With a sexy wink, he opened his door to get out of the car.

He went to my side, opened the door and offered his hand to help me out. Chivalry's always alive and kicking with Blake and Toby. I was lucky to have found Lucy as my flat mate and to have made very good friends with those two caring men, Blake especially.

"Did you make a reservation?"

"Don't worry about anything. I got it handled," Blake said reassuringly. I nodded. I was sure he had. I mean, did men like him need reservations, anyway?

"Mr. Knightly, how lovely it is to see you again. How is your grandfather?" questioned the maître d', a middle-aged man wearing a suit and thick glasses, as he ushered us to our table.

"He's lovely, thank you." Blake responded casually, placing his hand on my back as we headed to our table.

"Here we are! Let me know if there is anything that I can do for you, Mr. Knightly. Good to see you again. Enjoy," he said enthusiastically, looking at Blake and then me.

"Thank you, Gerard." Gerard gave a light nod, smiled toward me and stealthily left our table.

I knew his granddad came here often with him. Blake adored his grandfather. He had taken him in when Blake was ten years old, after both of his parents had tragically died in an avalanche in the Swiss Alps while skiing on their wedding anniversary. I met his grandfather, William, once during my visit to Blake's flat in Mayfair when his grandfather decided to give him a surprise visit. He was charming and engaging. From the affectionate way they interacted, I knew they loved each other deeply. I was happy for Blake because, even though tragedy had struck him, he still had a loving family member to care for and support him unconditionally, unlike me.

"I'll have Eggs Benedict and a cappuccino, please." I didn't need to look over the menu. I knew what I wanted.

"A woman with a hearty appetite. I like that." I snorted and laughed. _Ha! I'm sure you do._

"What's so funny?"

"You."

He raised a brow, curious and waiting. " _And_?"

I shrugged. "It's just—you know—you only date models or ones that look it and I bet those types hardly eat or, if they do, simply nibble at their food. I'm sure," I said sarcastically. _Why does he date only women that look like that?_ I hadn't pegged him to be a shallow man, but then again, I supposed his libido made the decisions. I truly was curious and wanted to know the truth, however I didn't have the nerve to actually voice _that_ question out loud.

"I do not!"

I shrugged, not wanting to argue.

After the waiter had come and taken our order, Blake had to go outside to take a business call. I was left to my own devices, so I pulled out my phone and texted Jen. I let her know that I had gotten back okay, that she shouldn't worry about me and I would call her as soon as I got a chance. She was a good friend from back home and was one of the people in my support system. She was there with me when I saw Kyle with his new girlfriend. Thinking about that made my stomach churn and burn with acid.

Fuck.

The bitch gave me a smirk and held Kyle's arm, looking at me with a scornful expression. I didn't go back there to steal him from her. I just needed closure, but I'd gotten more than I had bargained for.

# Chapter Fifty-Five

Saturday, Santa Monica,

Katie's Beach House Party

(8 days ago)

"What's your choice of poison?" the über hot bartender asked, wearing only surfer shorts and a garter bowtie to complete his ultra-surfer look. Hot might be understated, more like scrumptious. Exotic with caramel eyes and a to-die-for smile accompanied by perfect teeth.

I giggled like a schoolgirl. "Um, I'd like a lemon drop and a..." I trailed off glancing at Jen.

"What would you like to drink, Jen?"

"I'll have sex on the beach, babe," she said with a wink. _I'm sure she just wants that with a little sand and soft waves. Flirt._

He started setting up our drinks as I pulled Jen next to me. She was still looking at the bartender through her eyelashes and I knew right then and there that she had already set her sights on him.

"Jen, we just got here, _can the flirting wait?_ I kind of need you to stick with me tonight. I sort of need armor, or more like a shield," I said with an antsy smile and pleading tone.

"Doll, you can't be seriously hung up on Kyle still, are you?" Jen asked accusingly, her brows furrowed.

"Umm... well, I don't know... I want to talk to him—"

"What do you mean you don't know? He cheated! You _can't_ second guess that, sweetie. He's moved on, and from what I've heard, things have been getting steadily serious."

That did sound like a very good point.

Steady and serious. Huh. Wow. _How could he do this to me?_ To _us_?

I wanted to scream and lash out at him, but it wouldn't change what he'd done. I guess he didn't want to wait; he wanted a change. I was hoping to catch him that night and talk. I didn't try calling his phone because I wanted to see his face. I needed closure so I could bury the hatchet forever and never look back with regret. I needed a clean slate, no doubts hanging about in my semi-lucid brain.

I knew he was going to show up; he always showed up at parties and I didn't doubt that his ladylove would be with him, too.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter... just hang with me for a bit, okay? I promise to take you for fro-yo tomorrow," I said as I avoided her question. I couldn't answer that myself at that moment. That had always been our go-to place; second to Starbucks.

"Here you go, ladies! Enjoy!" purred the _hot-tender_.

"Thanks," we said, synchronized.

"Okay, I'll stick with you for a while, but not long. I don't want someone else snagging that nice piece of meat before I do! God, have you seen that tight body?" Jen delightfully noted, glancing back to the bartender before heading to the beach where some people we knew from high school were located.

"I want to just drag him somewhere dark and see if those lips live up to my imagination! Do you think he'll be into me?"

I glanced at her like she had two horns on her head. "Have you gone mad, hon? You know you're a knockout, right? Besides, he was totally checking you out."

Seriously, sometimes I thought she didn't really know how beautiful she was. That part of Jen was the doing of a stupid, selfish ex-boyfriend who'd mentally and emotionally derided her and she totally succumbed to the douchebag's manipulative ways because she had been blinded by love.

In love or not, a person didn't deserve to be treated like that. That type of abuse could take a long time to recover from. Had I known that in the beginning, I would've snatched her away from Tony. However, for three years she'd never said a word about any of it. From the outside, everything seemed undeniably perfect. Everyone had always thought they were perfect for each other. I did, too. I adored Tony. That's why, when she confessed her dilemma, I took charge and let her stay with me until everything blew over and until Tony realized that she was serious about leaving him. Our senior year, she started to blossom into her own person and had been loving life ever since.

Most men I knew had a hard time resisting Jen when she was on the prowl—there was no chance in hell her chosen man could escape. Who would really want to resist someone who resembled Heidi Klum in the looks department? Apart from Jen having killer looks, she had a sharp mind and she was currently studying at USC to be a lawyer. She'd make a killing out of that one.

"Jen! Sienna! Good of you beautiful ladies to grace us with your presence tonight!"

"Mickey! I've missed you!" I laughed, giving him a huge hug and a peck on the cheek.

Mickey's the kind of guy who was always nice and respectful. He was second generation Samoan and had the size of one, too. He played defense on our football team at Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks. You'd never catch him talking crap about other people, though. He had never been that kind of jock. Jen and I adored Mickey, everyone did.

"Nice to see you again, Jen!" Mick gave her a quick bear hug and released her with a grin.

"You, too, Mick." She jokingly punched his arm before she headed toward some other people we used to hang out with. I casually waved at the group and continued to stick with Mick. I didn't want to go over there and hangout. It would just invite questions and gossip about Kyle that I wasn't ready to discuss.

I scanned the area for any sightings of Kyle, but it seemed he had yet to arrive. I looked back at Mickey who seemed to be studying me with a twinkle in his eye.

"Looking for someone in _particular_ , Sienna?" _Fishing, I see._

"Huh? Oh, no. Just taking in the scene and seeing who else I know here. It feels good to be back home again, Mickey! I forgot how beautiful it was out here during summer time."

Indeed, it was a magnificent night. The full moon was up high and bright amidst the darkened sky. It was illuminating the ocean and making it look breathtakingly ethereal, serene and peaceful. The waves lapped softly on the shore and I felt calm inside, wishing Blake was there with me. He would have liked it. My trio of friends had offered to come, but I'd refused them. I needed to do this one on my own.

"How are you?" I asked as I sat on the wooden lounger, glancing back to Mickey and enjoying my cold, alcoholic beverage.

"Actually, a lot has been going on, man. I'm leaving for Alaska next week to help out my dad. He's been feeling exhausted from running the business. So, it's my turn to step-up and help the family," he said solemnly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mick. I recall you weren't really fond of that place," I said, empathizing with his situation.

"Damn right, but I got to help the family out, so there's no other option." He took a chug of his Corona, studying the sand on his feet.

There was someone hollering from behind me so I twisted my head to glimpse who the culprit was. Kyle was hugging and high-fiving people along the way. His other right hand was attached to a very attractive blonde who was gazing and smiling lovingly at him.

_Perfect. Just bloody fucking perfect._

I felt awkward and anxious. _Fuck. Should I go over and say hi? Maybe I should play indifferent?_ I castigated myself for being idiotic. _Come on, Sienna,_ I scolded myself. _Deep breaths and think of something relaxing._

Crap-fuckity-crap.

"'Kay there, doll?" Jen sat next to me with her arm loosely on my shoulder.

"Course! Should we get more drinks?" _Might as well get some encouragement from my old pal, The Don, Patron._

"Oooo! Shots?! That should get us going!"

"Hell yeah!"

"Bring on the happy face, doll. Don't let him see anything else." I nodded, not wanting to say anything else. She was right, of course.

We got up and headed back to the house. I knew we would be passing Kyle at any moment so I willed myself to play it cool and not take it too seriously. _Who cares if we dated two gloriously fun-filled years? Really, who cares?_ Uh! I was getting idiotic after only one drink.

"Hey, Jen! _Sienna_ , _you're back_ ," greeted a merry-looking Kyle.

"Hey there! Congratulations on your internship! I'm hearing that they'll hire you before you even finish school," Jen playfully said to Kyle. They got on so well back in the day, it was no wonder they were falling back into an easy banter.

Kyle's was working with his father. He loved music. He'd grown up with it, learning everything and anything music related from his father. His dad owned a major record label company in LA so it was a no brainer that he'd be following in his dad's footsteps. Most importantly, he loved to scour for musicians that had depth and soul in them in order to help them be successful in the music industry. He was quite passionate with his work and I remembered how he used to light up and get all excited when talking about it.

"Ha ha! How I've missed your craziness!" Kyle said with his deep, playful laugh. _God, I've missed that laugh. Here goes my stupid brain._

I looked like a complete idiot standing there next to Jen while they were catching up. His girlfriend, whom he hadn't introduced yet, was curiously eyeing Jen and me. _Did Kyle talk about me? Is that why she's eyeing me up and down now?_ Hah. Bitch.

Kyle turned his attention to me and his laughter died the minute our eyes met. His hazel eyes looked intense and fiery. His face looked calm, but I knew, deep down, he was mad. Damn, he looked gorgeous.

A deep ache settled in my heart. _I miss him_.

His white v-neck shirt outlined his defined torso and arms. _My word, is he more buff and defined or what?_ My eyes roved all over him. _Yes, he's been working out_. His body was a lean, muscular type; different from Blake's physique, but still downright sexy.

"How long are you here for? I didn't expect you to be back for your break—would've thought you'd be traveling all over Europe or somewhere much more exotic rather than coming back here to _plain,_ old Los Angeles," he said cuttingly with barely hidden bitterness lacing his words.

"Um, I've missed Jen and needed to tie up some loose ends with the conservatorship (outright lie) so, I decided to come back during break. It's only two weeks anyway so I won't be staying long." _Shit, I sound so lame. Couldn't I come up with something better to say?_ Sigh.

_Why was he being all cold, anyway?_ He was the one who broke-up with me.

"Right, anyway, ladies, I want you to meet my amazing girlfriend, Brooke," he announced as he hooked his left arm around his _amazing_ girlfriend. She had a huge, cat-like, fake smile and a massive rack. GAG. She looked fake, an absolute Blonde Bimbo.

She was clingy, giggly and used a whiney voice like a little girl—it made me want to scratch the wall with my nails. I hated her already, and from the look of pure disdain she was giving me, the feeling was mutual. Since when was Kyle attracted to BB's anyway? He'd always made fun of them.

"Hey! Pleasure to meet you people—but we must go and mingle with others. Kyle? I see some of your friends are already in the tub. Let's go! I can't wait to get you wet, baby!" she said coaxingly as she grabbed his hand and left for the tub at lightning speed. Nice, she was amazing indeed.

Not.

# Chapter Fifty-Six

"N _ice_ girlfriend there," Jen remarked when Kyle and BB walked away.

"Don't mention it. I know you're dying with questions, but let's skip it tonight, okay?" I pleaded.

The house was in full-on grinding, party mode as the speakers pounded, blaring "Birthday Cake" by Rihanna.

"Hey! Why don't you stay put and mingle with the eager men out here, hmm? I'll go get us our drinks, lemon drop or a shot?" Jen suggested. I looked at Jen with a raised eyebrow. I knew she was going to go check out the hot-tender and have her wicked way with him, so I wasn't going to trouble myself by getting in line for drinks.

"How about both, please? I'm in dire need of them." I winked at her as I fished out my phone from my purse and checked for messages.

I got three emails from friends back home—Chad, Blake and from Lucy/Toby.

From: Lucy Connelly

Subject: Miss you!

Be strong and don't forget to enjoy! In case you forgot... you're on vaca, too!

See you when you get back!

WE love you,

Lucy and Toby xxxxx

Lucy's message made me smile. She liked to smother people with as much x's as she could in her messages and I loved her for it.

From: Chad Wilson

Subject: Guess What!

Baby girl! You would never guess! I just got a spot on a show! I'm so psyched! Couple of months away, though, but shit! This is crazy! How's vacation? Call me the moment you land on Heathrow!

I miss you, lover!

Your ever sexy java-mamba friend,

C xxx

_Oh, Chad! I'm so happy for you!_ I couldn't help getting excited for him. He was an artist—a photographer to be precise—and he was quite gifted. Finally! After a few months of being depressed, it was a very good opportunity for him. It was a competitive field out there and that show was going to be his big break!

Opening my message from Blake, I suddenly felt warm knowing my friends were supporting me even if they weren't physically there.

From: Blake Knightly

Subject: Poppet

Hanging in there, poppet? Make it short and quick. No need to linger with the bloody tosser! We still have a few episodes to catch up with Game of Thrones so you better bring your cute butt back home immediately! Or better yet—want me to come get you, Sienna? I'll book the next flight out or I could use one of the company jets to fetch your tenacious self. Don't doubt me because I bloody will drag you back to England, if I must. Two weeks without you or Toby (since he decided to permanently attach himself to Lucy's side) has been uneventful to say the least. The break-up with Camille didn't help much. The woman was painstakingly relentless wanting to move in with me. Got to dash, but don't forget about my offer about coming back early! I'm only a text or phone call away. I miss you.

P.S. MAKE YOUR TRIP SHORT!

BK

_Cute_? My butt was anything other than cute! I got the junk to back it up. How could he say it was just cute? _Because he thinks you're just cute—you're just you, DUH?_

I should've been used to it with Blake, I mean, we were friends, but as good-looking as he was, I wanted him to see the other side of me. Not the reliable, good friend side, but the attractive, sexy side of me, at least just once. But no, he had been impervious and treated me as nothing more than his buddy from his boarding school days.

_He and Camille broke-up? She wanted to move in with him after barely two months of dating?_ I could picture Blake's reaction perfectly; mortified, racing for the hills. He abhorred it when he felt as if he was being trapped. He'd confessed as much when I had first met him; he was in a similar predicament at that time, too.

Blake's message was just _so Blake_ ; it was bossy and demanding with a tad of adorableness on the side. If it were from any other guy, I'd think that he couldn't wait to have me back home and he was going ballistic from missing me. Sadly, though, it was from Blake. There was no hidden agenda there, plain and simple. I put my phone back in my clutch purse and swayed with the music, weaving my way to the dance floor.

One thing was for sure; you could always count me in for dancing. I loved to immerse myself in the music and just make my body speak as it moved to the beat. I danced when I was stressed out. I'd go to hip-hop classes or _Zumba_ a few times a week in Hampstead. Chad managed the dance studio, and after closing time, we had our own little dance-off. It was our ritual and the bond that had brought us together.

Closing my eyes, I was swaying my hips slowly to match the rhythm of the music when I felt someone grab my hand. I opened them slowly, disappointed that it wasn't Kyle standing in front of me. I knew he was somewhere outside, possibly sucking face and swapping spit with his BB, but I couldn't help it. I was home and being home simply made me want Kyle, _badly_. _Maybe I'm nostalgic or maybe it's because I haven't been laid in what, like nine months? Who knows?_

"Hi! My name's James. Dance with me?" he asked smoothly.

Hmm, not bad looking. Quite decent actually. Not like Kyle, but decent enough and he seemed nice.

"Sure, James." I smiled at him as he twirled me around and my back landed on his chest. That was impressive. That man could dance. The DJ changed up the music to some Reggaeton song with Pitbull singing "Go Girl" and the tempo started to pick-up. Reggaeton music wasn't for sensual dancing. It was more for showing your skills with popping your hips and being sexy.

I separated myself from James and faced him. His eyes were all over my body and that gave me ammunition to get down and dance more. "So..."

"Sienna," I offered.

"Sienna. Where do you live? Somewhere close by?"

"I did, but I'm on vacation. Home is London, for now." I answered as my eyes scanned the crowd. The song ended and I found Jen across from me, watching us intently with our drinks in her hands.

Walking up to her, she gushed out, "Goodness, Sienna Richards! You know everyone was checking you out, right? You looked... _so, so_ hot dancing out there! I was even getting hot and bothered watching you two dance and that's saying something! _Was that to show someone that you still got your groove on? Hmmm?_ " I laughed. _Oh, Jen! How right you are._ I shook my head in denial and smiled innocently.

"And who might you be?" she asked James who had unknowingly followed me. Cute.

"I'm James." At about five-ten and well-muscled with dirty blond hair that was spiked, he was the epitome of boyish good looks.

"Where are you from?" Jen quipped. Knowing how she worked, she'd have him thoroughly grilled about his life in five minutes. We had always been protective of each other, so we tended to do that with most men we met.

Enthusiastically, I freed her hand of the Lemon Drop and took the tequila shot she was holding out to me as she commenced drilling. My, that burns _._ I welcomed the warm feeling it gave my body as I murmured "Thanks." She didn't seem to hear me, though, because she was still busy talking to James.

I, on the other hand, was busy scanning the room to see a familiar face. Okay, I was guilty. I wanted to see more of Kyle and what he was up to, but he was nowhere to be seen. I just couldn't believe he was being cold and indifferent toward me. What was that whole introduction scene with Brooke, anyway? If he'd wanted me to think that he had moved on and was happier, then he'd definitely succeeded in getting his message across.

I decided right then and there that I wouldn't think about him anymore. Maybe the whole trip for getting closure from Kyle was merely stupid and irreparable. I couldn't torture myself with the thoughts of him with his girlfriend, kissing and groping each other somewhere in a dark corner outside. All I had to do was endure the night and move on, but for the meantime, I had to hold my head high, even if I was anguished with my heart gutted and intestines twisted inside out. Or I could possibly take Blake's offer. I could drown my sorrows happily simply by staring at him. Was it jealousy I felt? Or was it merely an indication that I was still _in_ love with Kyle?

I loved him. I'd loved him all my life, but _in love_ with him? I wasn't so sure anymore. I mean, _if_ I was dangerously in love with him, then I wouldn't have left him behind to go to England, _surely?_ I would have found a way to still be next to him or simply endured being miserable in Los Angeles if it meant being with him. I missed him and I was mad that he'd ended our friendship like that. I wanted to salvage our friendship, if nothing else. Before I'd left home, I had made that whole spiel of loving him, but I felt that I needed freedom. I desperately sought change, away from my horridly miserable past with my extended family and the memory of my dad.

Would I want him back if he begged me? _I don't know_. My mind couldn't process the possibility of us getting back together when it was blatantly apparent that he was in a happy, satisfying relationship.

Kyle took it badly when he learned of my plan. Of course, he was crazy about me. We were inseparable then. We'd even finished each other's sentences. We were happy together, but my soul needed something more, to feel free. Free from memories of my past.

So, my announcement to go to school in England was a surprise to everybody—most of all to Kyle. He didn't speak to me for days. He felt betrayed and implied I was giving up on us, our relationship. Distraught and wounded, he stuck it out until I left for school, showing me how much he loved me. Those few weeks before my departure were bittersweet. I remembered having a hard time letting him go at the airport, clutching and hugging him so fiercely. The memories brought a melancholy sigh and my attention back to reality.

"Well, it was great to meet you, James," Jen said politely. I was still reeling from my nostalgic flood of flashbacks, swamped with the thoughts of what might've been. My mind shuffled back to the past and had lost track that I was there, in the middle of a damn party.

"Doll, can I speak to you for a sec?" Jen grabbed my hand and dragged me to a corner.

"Sure, be back in a sec, James." I gave him one of my melt-your-bones smiles for effect. It seemed to work from the look he gave me.

I needed a diversion and the unfortunate victim was James. I needed to gather my bearings before I went ballistic with roaring jealousy and did something drastic to get Kyle's attention, like going up to him and giving him a kiss that was extraordinarily scorching to the point that it would haunt him forever. So, I needed James tonight, for my sanity's sake.

"Hey! What's up?" I questioned her with an arched brow, knowing full well what she wanted to speak to me about.

"I'm going to leave the party with Ethan. He's off and another person is taking the shift, so we decided to go grab something to eat somewhere. Will you be okay if I leave and you catch a ride with Mickey or something? If you can't catch a ride, call me and I'll come get you."

"I take it Ethan's the hot-tender, right? Jen, seriously, go have fun. Don't worry about me. I have _only_ two weeks to party and then back to school again, so I'll be okay. Go enjoy yourself! I'll see you tomorrow for catch-up and fro-yo, 'kay?" I hugged her and kissed her blushing cheek. It really bothered her leaving me there, but she wasn't my sitter. As much as I loved hanging out with Jen, she needed to enjoy and meet people. I wanted her to be happy, especially after Tony. "Have fun, doll." I gave her a huge grin.

"Will do! All right, catch up with you tom'! And be safe, 'kay? Call me if you need me, _anytime_."

"See you!" I shooed her away and went back to James who had been watching my interaction with Jen with hawk-like intensity.

"Did anybody tell you how gorgeous and sexy you are?" His dark eyes traveled all over me like I was a piece of candy to be savored.

"Are you just saying anything to get laid tonight? Because let me tell you, your line was way off the finishing line!" I instantly quipped back. _Ha! This is a merry-go-round play date, buddy—nothing more,_ I thought.

The last time I had sex, or any _intimacy_ for that matter, was with Kyle. It was not that I didn't find anyone attractive in London—apart from crushing on Blake, but that was beside the point. He was nothing more than a friend. I had gone to a lot of house parties and met quite a few interesting and attractive men, but not one who'd given me the I-can't-breathe-and-think-around-you feeling. Maybe if I'd put myself out there instead of cutting them off before they could even speak it would make a vast difference. I should probably take up Lucy's offer of blind dates, just to dip my toes into the dating world.

Snapping back to reality, I gulped down the rest of my drink and placed it on the table next to me. The alcohol I had consumed was a potent mixture of vodka and tequila. A lethal combination, but it was the prerequisite of a person who was dealing with an emotional upheaval.

"Come on, James. Dance with me," I said invitingly. The music blared, making my feet itch to move on the dance floor and let loose, my body speaking through the art of dancing.

We were setting our rhythm as I danced against him, my back touching his chest. I let out a sigh. _Where was Kyle?_ I thought sadly. _Stupid girl_! _Just let it go already_ , I scolded myself. The dance was getting intense and James was gripping both of my hips, grinding and swaying slowly. I honestly didn't care because I wanted to forget, even if for only a few minutes. Then I'd go look for Mickey and ask him for a ride back to Jen's apartment.

James was getting _quite_ comfortable. So comfortable in fact that he was moving his hands up and down the sides of my stomach. "You're so hot. I want you," he whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. _Right, not going there, buddy._ I was just using him temporarily for dancing, nothing more.

_Am I a tease?_ Yes, definitely. _Do I feel guilty about it?_ No, not really.

I closed my eyes again, feeling the beat and the alcohol seeping its way through my body. I felt relaxed and smiled, rocking the smashing beat with James. He was actually a decent dancer.

I felt his lips kiss my exposed shoulder, softly working toward my neck. His hot breath gave me a shudder. "James, I don't think that's a good idea."

Out of nowhere, someone yanked my right arm and dragged me away so quickly that my head spun. I barely got a chance to catch my breath. Everything was a blur—from the dance floor, passing the living room and up the stairs. Stumbling halfway up, I yelped from the tight hold on my arm. I tried to detach his fingers, but he was too strong. His fingers sunk deeper into my flesh, gripping it harder.

Sudden fear washed over my entire body. It was too dark, no light coming from the hallway or bedroom doors. _How am I supposed to take charge and free myself if I can't see my attacker?_ I freaked and told myself to calm down and breathe. _Breathe. Think rationally, you can do this, Sienna._

I was trying to get a handle on the situation and where the person was taking me. It was so dark, but it seemed like my abductor knew where he was going. The floorboards made a squeaking sound and the person holding my arm quickly turned around. Whooshing air swept by and there was an overpowering smell. A smell I _knew_ so well that it made my throat constrict with familiarity.

Kyle. _What the fuck?!_

# Chapter Fifty-Seven

"Excuse me! Where the hell do you think you're taking me! How dare you, Kyle!" Unleashed fury roared off me.

_How dare he manhandle me like that!_

He opened a door and brashly shoved me inside with him. I quickly scanned the room. It was dark, but it was illuminated with the glowing light of the moon from the bay window. The room was quite large, but uninhabited, a guest room perhaps.

I slowly glanced back and found Kyle looking down at me, furious to a point which I had never seen him before. My heart slammed wildly against my chest.

"Are you trying to embarrass yourself, _Sienna!_ " he raged at me, face thunderous with seething anger. "Are you _trying_ to prove something?" He glared and spit fire. "Are you trying to prove that you're a big girl, now? Taking offers and sampling men to your _liking_?" Kyle was accusing and livid.

"Excuse me? I was dancing with James! Mind your own fucking business and go back to your _amazing_ girlfriend!" I screamed like a banshee at him. "And if I am taking offers and sampling them, it's my _goddamned_ business. Now, leave me the FUCK alone!" I yelled with barely suppressed rage. _How dare he? After how he had been cold toward me all night, without even a backward glance, and now he gives me this blasted brutish treatment? Seriously_? I was done dealing with that crap; I was going home, back to London.

I tried to grab the handle of the door, but he quickly caught my hand and swiftly placed me on the wall next to the door. Both of his hands landed securely on either side of my head so I was imprisoned and had no chance in hell of escaping. I stared at him, wide-eyed and reeling.

Not only was I shocked at his attitude and his chauvinistic demeanor, but I was more surprised that he had even bothered to. " _Are you fucking drunk, Kyle_?" I asked him angrily. "Did you not hear what I just said?" He simply kept staring at me like he wasn't even listening to my questions.

He moved closer, his eyes burning into me.

I could smell him, his smell that I used to adore so much. The smell that reminded me of long nights sleeping in the nook of his neck. Being that close to him tested me to the hilt and drove me insane with acute lust. I was becoming nostalgic with pure longing.

His molten eyes roved all over my body, reacquainting himself with it. They stopped on my lips and his eyes darkened. My heartbeat quickened, my breathing shallowed. My body quivered from his close scrutiny. Goose bumps covered my body as my nipples tightened and my stomach had butterflies flying about. _Damn him_.

His gaze was too powerful and like prey, I was hypnotized and captivated by him; by his closeness, by that sudden reminder that he was my first love, my first everything. I closed my eyes and tried my damnedest to steady the wild beating of my heart.

His thumb traced my full, bottom lip slowly like he was trying to ingrain it in his memory. The moment his thumb grazed my skin, I was enthralled.

" _Sienna_ ," he said my name in a whisper that was full of pain and hunger. My heart twisted.

I slowly opened my eyes and was tormented by the look in his. He wanted me. His desire was emanating from him; from every pore in his body. I knew that look so well. I suddenly had the urge to touch his chest, to feel his heat—his warmth—but I willed myself against it.

I wet my lips slowly with uncertainty and swallowed. I was having a hard time breathing. All I could hear was my heart pounding incredibly loud against my ribcage as I anticipated Kyle's touch. He would touch. That _look_ said it all. He would devour me with no concession.

I stared at the man before me, wide-eyed and waiting, waiting for him to make a move... _Can I let this happen?_ There was hardly any option of backing out. He was there for a reason, a man on a mission who would give no room for negotiation. _Oh, hell! I'm going to be in big trouble._

He lowered his head to kiss me, softly at first, like he was trying to gauge my reaction, see if I would respond. I certainly did. I kissed him back, matching his pace as I was fighting all sorts of sensations inside of me.

A tidal wave of emotion rolled off me; from missing him to the angst of seeing him with a new girlfriend, amongst other things. All bottled in together as I kissed him. My lips demanded just as fervently as his, like we couldn't get enough of each other. The titillating hunger was demanding his full attention, driving us both in a magical, wanton spell.

His signature smell enveloped me and I surrendered to the madness of lust and want.

He groaned as my fingers touched his hair and slowly traced his back, all the way down to his ass, cupping it hard with greedy hands and pulling him hard against me. The friction was palpable. We both groaned at once. _Yes, I definitely want this._

_How I've missed this man._

I opened both of my legs wider to accommodate him better, riding my miniscule skirt up higher, flashing my magenta lace thong. I couldn't stop holding him firmly and tightly by his ass, pulling him hastily and fervently against me to be nestled on my hot core. We both groaned in unison.

His soft kisses trailed down my neck slowly; he licked and nipped it. Writhing and panting against his hot body, I lost myself in the overwhelming, all-consuming need to be possessed.

His hand skillfully loosened my top, kissing his way to my very aroused and very erect nipples. He found one and playfully bit it. I whimpered from the pure ecstasy that was taking me to a whole different sphere of being. I was already horny, but that drove me over the edge of the precipice and straight into a state of absolutely wanton desire.

My thong was soaked as I rubbed myself with a driven mission over his jeans that showed his bulging erection. _God, he feels wonderful. Fuck._

"Can I take you, baby?" he asked in a raspy, sexy voice, panting with the need to consume me. It was full of promise, full of wicked urgency.

Of course, _that_ was the old Kyle, my Kyle. " _Yes—yes_." I was already out of breath. "Please hurry, I—" He didn't even let me finish before I heard him groan as he touched my thighs slowly, finding his way to the edge of my thong.

_Thank god I had just had a Brazilian wax a couple of days ago,_ I thought to myself.

He slid my thong to the side and I felt him playing with my folds, gently torturing me as he teased them by making chaste, rhythmic circles around my sensitized mound.

"Take me!" I commanded. I couldn't focus on anything other than the throbbing, suppressed ache inside of me.

"Did you miss me, Sienna?" he whispered hoarsely in my ear. His hot breath sent tingles all the way down to my very wet opening.

I opened my eyes and looked him straight in his. " _Yes."_ I halted as he stuck a finger inside me, twirling and twisting it, hooking it in the upper wall of my slick channel. He frantically moved his fingers against my clit, flicking it up and down in a fast rhythm.

"Oh my God" I yelped. _Yes!_ I chanted in my head.

I grabbed his bulging cock and started to rub it hard before taking charge of his pants, swiftly opening the button and pulling his zipper down. His pants were pooling around his knees and I tugged his boxer briefs south, on top of his pants. I eyed him, _man he's aroused_. I gently cupped his balls with my left hand, squeezing them as I delightfully moved my right hand up and down his cock, twirling his erection with voracious determination.

I was in such a delicious state of sexual euphoria, and I couldn't seem to hold it back for much longer. Nine months of celibacy made me desperate for him.

"Kyle, please... _FUCK ME_ ," I pleaded.

"Not yet, baby"

Our foreheads joined together as we panted hard. His thick, rock-hard cock had a small drop of juice that was enticingly sitting on the head of his enormous manhood. I hastily licked my dry lips as I greedily eyed it. It was just waiting for my attention.

If he thought torturing me would work, then I would give him the same satisfaction. I slightly bent over again and licked that sweet juice off _oh-so-slowly_ and at the same time, watched his face through my lashes with a pure fervor born of lust. Hovering over his cock, I sucked the head with just enough pressure to get all of his sweet, moist essence out, tasting more of his manhood as though it was nirvana. His face almost combusted with desire and he was beyond turned on. He seriously looked like a savage animal ready to pounce.

He took his fingers out and spread me against the wall. He kneeled down just above my throbbing pussy and hooked one of my legs over his shoulder as he opened my other leg wider. Licking my outer lips with his hot, teasing tongue while nipping and sucking, I buckled and threw my head back from the sensations racking through my body.

He quickly grabbed my hips and hooked my legs around his body as he pulled me down to the large bed. My dark mane of hair splayed everywhere. My top and skirt sat on my stomach, open and ready to be ravished. My thong was still lopsided from his drastic invasion and I was still wearing my cowboy boots.

He loomed over me; his eyes intensely flickering to my nipples and wide open legs. He pulled on his dick and started to stroke it, hard; big hands squeezing and stroking as I watched in fascination.

He took my boots off and pulled down my thong. "You're beautiful, Sienna." Our eyes locked as he gently rubbed me with his pulsating head, ready to combust. He teased and probed—driving me insane. I whimpered as I anticipated the feel of him inside me.

He paused, his cock just a mere centimeter from my soaked entrance. "Has there been anyone else? I know I was your first, but that could've changed since we broke up, so was there anyone else?" His face was passive as he waited for me to reply.

I shook my head. "No, no one."

His smile was predatory and victorious, eyes gleaming. He slowly entered me and pulled out almost immediately. "Baby, you feel like a virgin! _I love it that your pussy's like this. Best fucking pussy I've ever had._ "

I looked at him as he was watching our bodies joining together. He was staring down candidly as his cock slid cautiously into my tightened core. He seemed to cherish the idea of being the only man I had ever had sex with. He groaned like a caveman as he shoved his dick inside me, thrusting hard with no inhibition or restraint. My walls immediately enveloped him, accommodating his size.

"You're mine! All _mine_!" he growled like an animal. "I love how you feel... so silky, wet, and fucking _tight._ I've been constantly thinking about when I can have you over and over. I can't get you out of my head. When I saw you tonight, I couldn't help myself... I _needed_ to have a taste of whatever you could give me. I needed to be _inside_ you or I was going to go insane." He sounded raw with want as he picked up the pace and held my hips tighter. My legs were wrapped around his hips in an angle where it hit the spot, taking him deeper inside me.

Thrusting harder, filling me, stretching me, taking as much as he could with no restraint. His cock was undeniably stretching me to its capacity. I couldn't deny him that. I couldn't deny us both. Sex with Kyle had always been good when we were together. So, it was hardly a surprise that we couldn't help ourselves.

I felt my body and pussy tighten around him, building up slowly for an orgasm. The friction was more intense, fervent and exquisite. I was almost at the tipping point and then I felt my body convulse around him as my climax came to a close. I held his shoulders, digging my fingers in and screaming hard as I came.

Kyle held my hips harder and placed his lips on my neck as he fucked me hard with building intensity, his orgasm trailing close behind my own. He screamed my name against my lips, " _Sienna, I love you. It's always been you_." He then spilled his seed inside me with one hard thrust of his hips.

Thank God I had continued taking the pill.

# Chapter Fifty-Eight

We held each other, panting and disoriented. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what had just happened and how I could walk away from the situation without having my pride and heart trampled over. _Deep breaths_. _He said he loved me. He still loves me._

I had so many questions I needed to ask him, but I couldn't seem to find the strength or the wherewithal to look him in the eye. I might've deluded myself that it was over... Could it be possible that it was one of those __ you-don't-realize-what-you-have-until-you've-lost-it __ types of things _?_ I groaned. _I really am in the shitter._

I slowly opened my eyes and drank him in. His hair and clothes were all disheveled and his eyes seemed to be raging something from deep within. He got up and started to get dressed without even giving me a glance.

Thinking about the fact that whatever comeuppance this situation brought, I had played a major part in it so I should hold my head high and act like the mature person that I am.

I sighed.

"Kyle," I whispered.

He was staring at the window, his back toward me like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Distant and unreachable. _Why isn't he talking?_

I straightened up my clothes and tried my best to fix my hair with my shaky fingers. I was nervous and anxious. I didn't ask for it, yet I couldn't stop or deny myself the opportunity to have him again. Even if it was for the last time.

Wanting him and for him to want me, it was just all too much and yet it was something I couldn't just walk away from. _Oh, damn it to hell and back._

"Kyle, say something!" I croaked. Still no response. _What in God's name was he playing at?_ "Oh! I get it! You just needed to get one last fuck out of your system and now you can just walk away! That's it, isn't it?" The feeling of being used was something I had never encountered before and that feeling didn't sit well with me, especially when the person in question was Kyle.

He moved against the window and the moonlight shadowed behind him, making him appear like he was some sort of dark angel, breathtaking to look at. This fallen angel was staring back at me with a blank expression. It gave me an idea of what was to come and for the first time, I was at a loss for words.

# Chapter Fifty-Nine

Kyle

_God, she's gorgeous!_ Even in her bedraggled state from our crazy romping, she still had the ability to take my breath away by just standing there, demanding my attention.

Her skirt was twisted to the other side and not properly fixed. Her lips were red and swollen from our lovemaking, her hair disheveled and those beautiful crystal green/gold eyes flashed at me, immobilizing me on the spot from her sheer beauty.

She didn't have any clue how she affected me by just one look. She had that power over me. She had that effect on most men, but she didn't see it. I knew, though, and saw how men wanted to possess her; her beauty, her body, her beautiful heart. She was next to perfection. _She was also mine_.

_How did I even manage to convince myself that I could be at the same party with her and not feel this?_ Savagely, I cursed my stupidity. She had always possessed power over me. No one had the capacity to drive me up the wall like Sienna could. When she was still here, she was _it_ for me and yet she still walked away. I wasn't enough for her; never would be.

I had to harden my resolve for my sanity's sake. _God, this is difficult!_ My throat ran dry as thoughts ran through scenes from a few minutes ago, vividly. How she looked lying there, waiting with desire— _all for me_. All mine and mine alone. Not any longer. She would eventually find someone; it wouldn't be hard. I bet there's already a line waiting.

The idea of another man possessing her brought ferocious feelings out of me. It was jealousy eating me alive. I couldn't go there. Not that night.

"Sienna, I'm not going to apologize for this. Seeing you again made it impossible to resist you. I remembered us being good together and I just couldn't seem to help myself... I had to have you—"

"So that was merely a one-time thing then?" she cut me off in a shaky voice.

Her beautiful eyes were rimmed with unshed tears. How I wanted to possess that woman. My heart ached. I hated seeing her hurt, but I couldn't let her get to me. I barely survived when she left the last time. I couldn't go there again.

Steeling my resolve, I answered, "Yes, it is... it was. I'm with Brooke—" She didn't even let me finish before she started yelling.

"That's fucking convenient! You had sex with me without a second thought to your girlfriend and now, after you've gotten what you wanted, you're in a relationship again!" her voice screeched. Sienna was beside herself.

Man, she looked even hotter when she was furious. I wanted to take her again, right against the wall. _I'm going crazy_ , I knew I was, but I truly wanted to reach out and kiss those pouty, swollen lips of hers senseless, for the last time. Just a little taste of her once more before walking away. _I hate feeling like this. This uncontrollable passion I have with her. I feel powerless against it. I have to get out of here—fast—before I start kissing her and fucking up more. Leave, now_!

I had to calm myself before responding to her accusing tone. "I didn't use you. I asked you if it was okay before things got way too heated and you told me it was fine," I countered. I wanted to be friends with her, but it was impossible for me. That was asking too much of myself, however I didn't want any hard feelings, either. "Hey, we'll talk this over when we're sober and calmed down. I'll come see you in a couple of days. How about we—" She held her hands up in exasperation.

"You know what?! This was a stupid mistake! I thought for a second there that... that you might feel something... or it meant that you still... you know what? It doesn't matter what I think! Let's forget this ever happened, 'kay? Please, don't try to contact me because I don't want to see or hear from you _ever_ again!" she said with finality before she walked out the door.

Out of my life.

Again.

_Hell, Sienna!!!_

# Chapter Sixty

Sienna

London, present

"Sorry about that. I didn't leave you too long, did I?" A concerned look was etched on his face as he waited for me to respond to his question.

"No, it's fine. Stop worrying, Blake." I smiled at him. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're a worrywart sometimes?"

Sipping his coffee as he gazed at me, Blake waited a beat before speaking. "Yes, _you've_ often told me."

"It's true. You've got to channel stress into something productive like _boxing_ , perhaps?" I teased him.

"Sure, as long as you join me because then we can kick ass together," he jested back. Uh, not a good idea! I might just get turned on watching him; sweaty and full of angst.

"No thanks, I let out my frustration through dancing." I gave him a smug look. "Anyhow, what the hell happened between you and Camille?" I asked, using my casual tone. I was curious. I was always curious when it came to his girlfriends. Sometimes he was forthcoming with _the dirt_ and sometimes he was tight-lipped.

Twirling his coffee cup, he studied it with the utmost concentration before he spoke. "As I said before, she wanted to move in with me. She was getting demanding, jealous and paranoid. It was nothing permanent and she knew it, still she pushed. So, I had no choice except to let her go."

"I really believed you guys were going to last longer than two months. I mean, you looked perfect together. Are you okay, though? I _know_ for a fact that break-ups are nasty and never easy." I continued on when I didn't get a reply, "So, she was jealous, huh? Were you entertaining and catering to your other girlfriends, Blake?" I gave him a you're-such-a naughty-boy look because he surely was.

His throaty laugh filled the air. "Oh, Sienna, sometimes you're just too adorable. To answer your question, no, I wasn't getting my groove on and screwing other women. Honestly, she was jealous of my relationship with you. She thought we spent a lot of time together and that I was crazy about you. I assured her that we were friends, nothing more, and the mere fact that you were with Kyle didn't convince her troubled mind. Cam was convinced that once Kyle was out of the equation that I would step in and have you all to myself." Leaning back and still playing with his coffee cup, his eyes were steady and pensive while studying my reaction.

I laughed— _hard_ —and almost ran out of air. _That's the funniest story I've heard,_ I thought _._ Was Camille high on drugs? Had she looked in the mirror lately? She was _stunning_. Where did she cook up ideas like that? Blake didn't go for women like me. If he'd wanted to, he had plenty of chances over the last eight months, but he'd never tried anything that would imply that he was interested at all. So, she was being silly over nothing.

"Finding my story funny, Sienna?" He was still watching me intently, his voice steady and calm. He could be so intense sometimes that it made my heart skitter.

"Yes, I mean, come on! That was stupid of her! Why would she be jealous of me? Look at her and look at me. She's like the epitome of perfection. Besides, the idea of us? We'll never work. I mean, we like the same things, but we're different. You're like mega rich and soon you'll be running the world with just a bat of your eyelashes and I'll be, _you know_ , the same. _Normal_." My voice got small in the end. I bit my bottom lip until all the blood drained. The idea of Blake— _us_ —bothered me. We were worlds apart. Everyone could see that. _So why do I wish that weren't true?_

He was still and unmoving, his lips in a straight line, pensive. _What's he thinking now?_

However, he didn't have the chance to make a reply to my tirade because our food arrived and we fell silent as we worked on our plates, lost in thought. The food was excellent and I was happy to oblige my grumbling stomach.

"Mmm, this is definitely divine," I said as I bit into a piece of bacon, savoring every taste as I closed my eyes.

"Certainly looks like it," Blake murmured, locking his eyes on me as he took a bite of his toast.

Shrugging, I set aside my dish after I'd devoured every bite with pure gusto. I worked on my coffee next; I needed something to do besides looking at his magnetizing eyes. Uncomfortable was not the word I would use to describe it. Breathless would possibly be fitting, though.

After what seemed like five minutes, he threw down a hundred pounds on the table and asked, "Ready?"

"Not really, but guess I have to see what's in store now, don't I?" I stood up and pretended to be petulant.

"You'll just have to wait and see, my impatient one."

# ~S~

"Notting Hill?"

"Yes, our next stop to your easing-up-the-pain strategy." Blake smirked when he said _easing_. Ha. I would rather forget that embarrassing incident in the car right before breakfast.

He parked the car, got out and opened the car door for me. I smiled. "Hummingbird Bakery?" I gleefully asked.

"As you wish, milady," he said with a little bow. That gesture put me in mild hysterics. He had a good sense of humor. That was why we were friends. We could act silly and have fun; it was easy.

Grabbing my hand and pulling me next to him, we strolled along, passing clothing boutiques and antique places. Notting Hill was a gem. They had a lot of funky, trendy stores and just about any knick-knack you could ever imagine. It was awesome!

We made our way to Hummingbird Bakery that made these delicious, mouth-watering cupcakes. Each perfect bite was sheer bliss. Still holding hands, he guided me inside the shop. We had found the bakery simply by walking around on a Sunday afternoon and we'd both fallen in love with it; each liking to indulge our sweet tooth. So, once in a while, we would come here to indulge. Though, on special occasions—like when it was that time of the month for me—he brought me a box of cupcakes to cheer me up. _How thoughtful was that?_

Ogling those beautifully decorated, earth-shattering pieces of ambrosia with yearning eyes, my mouth salivated. Blake ordered red-velvet and chocolate chip cupcakes to be eaten outside on the patio as well as a dozen more to take home. Oh, yum! _You see how intuitive he is?_ Ha!

"Let me pay for this one," I demanded. He gave me a shut-the-hell-up look.

I huffed and turned around as he paid for the cupcakes. It was always like that with Blake and Toby. They would get offended if you offered to pay. Some men would gladly appreciate the offer. Some men expected women to pay half of everything, but those two still believed that they had to take care of the ladies. They felt insulted if I asked.

I found a table for two and waited for my cupcakes to arrive. Sitting, I basked in the warmth of the sunshine hitting my face. _Life isn't so bad when you have cupcakes_ , I mused.

"Here we are!" he announced as he placed two of my favorite cupcakes in front of me and cut the cupcakes in quarters. We had a ritual because we both loved these flavors, we agreed to a compromise, eating them half and half. It was kind of cute.

He took a piece of red-velvet and fed me. I opened my mouth, closed my eyes and savored the flavor. I was a passionate person, especially when it came to food.

"Mmm, yes!" I purred in satisfaction.

He laughed. "I knew you wouldn't be mad for long." He gave me his god-like smile again, placing his Ray-Ban sunglasses atop his wavy hair. I looked away. He looked too tempting and when he smiled like that, I had this urge to stare and worship him. It was very disconcerting to feel that way sometimes and it caught me off guard.

He was a great friend and a flirt, but a great friend nonetheless. So, when he acted a certain way—holding my hand and smiling at me like I was the only person in the world that mattered—it confused the shit out of me.

My phone beeped so I took it out of my purse and checked the message.

_Kyle._

Heart thudding, I opened the message.

# Chapter Sixty-One

From: Kyle Matthews

Subject: Miss you

I went over to Jen's to check if u were there last night and found out u went back to London. Why? Did u leave 'coz of me? Wanted to speak to you. WE HAVE TO TALK about what happened. About us. Call me. Seeing u again made me realize how much u mean to me, Sienna.

I'll be waiting for your call.

I miss u,

Kyle

Shit _. How do I reply to that?_ He sounded guilty as hell. Well, he should be after he treated me crassly with no thought to my feelings. He just took what he wanted and my feelings, _again_ , were pushed aside.

"Sienna, what is it?" I turned off the screen, slid my phone back into my purse and sighed heavily. "Kyle... he wants to talk."

"Are you going to?" He looked at me, pensive, unreadable.

"No, I'm not giving that jerk the satisfaction," I said with decisiveness and a clear voice. I had made up my mind. As much as it killed me to admit, I was _still_ hurting.

What hurt more was the fact that he dated her a month before breaking it off with me. He didn't even have the decency to end things before saddling himself up to someone else. To put icing on the cake, he had sex with me and _still_ went back to her. Now he had decided that he wanted to _talk_? The nerve!

"What's up next?" I asked, studying his unreadable expression. He grabbed my hand and played with the inside of my palm with his middle finger; in slow, agonizing, fever-inducing, rhythmic circles.

He was touching me _a lot_ today. He never used to, I mean, apart from the usual greeting of kisses, hugs and nudges here and there; nothing as personal as this, though. I was afraid to ask him about it, so I pretended it didn't bother me, as if we did this all the time.

"It's a surprise, poppet. I'm sure you will figure it out soon enough." Getting up and hooking my left arm around his, we strolled back to where his car was parked.

Walking at a leisurely pace, my thoughts raced back to Kyle. Was it cold of me not to bother replying to his email? We had been through a lot and I considered him family. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad died when I was seven. From what I could recall of my dad, he was a loving man, giving, and he adored me. He used to talk about Mom all the time and how they had loved me from the moment they discovered she was pregnant.

Dad had a heart attack. No one saw it coming; it was abrupt and swift. All of a sudden, I was alone. I remember the conservator consoling and assuring me that my father was a wise man, that he had invested the insurance he got from my mother's death shrewdly. He even added that there was more coming from my dad's insurance policy, amongst other investments he had stocks in. My dad made sure I had a college fund on top of everything else.

He basically thought it out accordingly, just in case he died. I received a partial amount of his Social Security money to tide me over until I turned eighteen; the legal age when I took over my own spending and could handle all my finances. At the time, though, I couldn't have cared less about money because all I wanted was my dad back.

My father's sister, Christy, took me in. She had a husband, Dan, and a daughter a year older than me, Caroline. It was hell living in the Browns' household. I was the interloper who basically ruined their neat, consistent lives.

When I met Kyle—the boy next door—he became my solace, my protector and my friend. His mother was always kind and loving to me, baking cakes and pastries that I enjoyed through the years. I had grown to depend on Kyle, and leaving Los Angeles had torn me apart; but I had to leave home. I needed to get away; to have a new life, a second chance to erase all the memories of what I'd endured living with the Browns. As a result, he was hurt, but supportive about my decision; or so I'd thought.

My father had indeed made sure that I was well provided for. The money I had gotten from him on my eighteenth birthday was substantial. I didn't need to work if I didn't want to, but I had other plans. I wanted to become successful on my own and thrive in the marketing industry.

# ~S~

Leaning back against the cool leather seat, I exhaled. _Boy, I'm exhausted_. Driving around town seriously took a toll on my jet-lagged condition. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head, the sounds of Moonlight Sonata in cello relaxing me into slumber as he squeezed my thigh.

"Don't drift off yet. I promise you can sleep when we get to our destination, all right?" Blake glanced at me with a hint of a smile. He took hold of my hand and placed it on his lap; overwhelming me with weird emotions.

I turned sideways to look at him. With his shades on, he looked like a sexy man from a car commercial, only a tad bit more good looking. He resembled Gaspard Ulliel or Christiano Ronaldo; that's how deadly he looked. The Latin coloring and charm contributed from his Italian mother combined with _when he spoke Italian_... total, major turn on. His eyes were another dynamic aspect that contributed to that killer look. Blake had the most unusual eyes; midnight blue, rimmed in silver with flecks of scattered gold in the middle. When he was angry, his eyes turned almost black; making those scattered gold flecks stand out. It was like staring at the Milky Way galaxy as it s _ucked you in_ until you were lost in them. It was spellbinding and disconcerting at the same time.

"Are you done checking me out, Sienna?" He gave me a sideways glance before diverting his eyes back to the traffic ahead. _Busted._

"Not yet, just give me a few more minutes; I'm sure by then I will have memorized all your flaws," I quipped back. I was a tad mortified that he'd caught me staring wide-eyed at him. "Are we almost there?" I drastically needed to change the subject back to safer ground.

"Yes, a few minutes or so then you can sleep, my sweet; just as long as you promise not to snore." He smiled tenderly at my horrified expression.

"Ha! I do not snore!" I pinched his leg.

"Ow," Blake yelped, but had his god-like smile in check—dreamy was the more appropriate term for that smile. I hated it that he had a way of disarming me with that smile.

As promised, after a few minutes we arrived at our destination; an upscale hotel in Knightsbridge. Getting out of the sexy Aston Martin, he handed the car keys to the valet attendant and tended to me. With a hand on my back, he gently guided me to the hotel spa.

"Aw, how you read my mind, Knightly! Thank you! Thank you!"

"I hope this will make up for all the energy you invested with me since this morning. Come." _Like I wouldn't forgive him?_ Blake held the door and we stepped inside the reception area which was a white and glass combination, giving a chic, clean-cut effect.

"Mr. Knightly, welcome back!" greeted the auburn haired, blue-eyed, svelte lady with a flirty smile.

"Krista, hello! How are you?" Blake said, acting polite yet distant.

"I'm very good, Mr. Blake." Krista gazed back through her lashes, quite suggestively. With a few taps on her keyboard, she spoke again, "Okay, your room is ready. Olga will show you to it." I caught her wink at him and bite her bottom lip.

I almost grunted out loud from her obnoxious, flirty attitude. _Disgusting much? Jesus._

Olga appeared almost immediately and politely showed us to our reserved room and I couldn't have run out of there fast enough.

My massage haven awaited.

# Chapter Sixty-Two

The moment I walked in, I felt like I had walked onto a set of the _Arabian Nights_. The room had an oval-shaped pool that was decorated with rose petals. Further to the left stood a colorful silk tent with beaded throw pillows and kaftan rugs. Plus, there were large, glass bowl-stands with petals and floating candles embellishing the room.

The masseuse tables, situated at the edge of the tent, sat about ten feet from a lightly-lit fireplace. The strategically placed scented candles made the ambiance intimate, seductive and downright romantic. The room _smelled_ of romance, a mixture of roses and berries with hinted notes of vanilla.

I was guided to the 'his and hers' changing rooms, where it was requested that I wear this skimpy, barely there thong. I smirked. _Great, how the heck will I ever be comfortable lying next to Blake almost naked?_ If I could relax, I was going to doze off the minute those powerful hands started kneading my back; I was sure of it.

_Is romance what Blake has in mind? Is it possible? Why would he book a suite?_ He could've gotten separate rooms, but he didn't. _So, if it is, am I ready to date him?_ I was and I wasn't. I had just gotten out of being with Kyle and I was sure as hell was not emotionally ready for someone as intense as Blake. That was like taking on Hurricane Katrina. Besides, he didn't seem to be keen on long-term relationships, anyway.

Apart from Kyle, I hadn't been with anyone else; emotionally or physically. Blake was a very intense person, too. How the heck would I handle him? I had watched as women became beyond helpless when he ended it with them. They were hysterical; calling incessantly, hoping he would take them back. He never did. It was mayhem.

_No, thank you_. I didn't want to be one of _those_ women. _Risking our friendship over sexual satisfaction?_ _Maybe?_ I shoved that thought quickly to the back of my mind.

I came out of the changing room dressed in a thong and a robe. I made my way toward the massage tables where my masseuse, a tall, stern-looking man—possibly Eastern European—waited patiently for me. He introduced himself as Alec.

Blake was already on his stomach and had a scant towel draping his glorious ass. His back was all ripping-hard muscles, defined and cut. He had his head down, even though the session hadn't started yet. I was sure he'd done that to make me feel less uncomfortable when I tried to position myself on the narrow __ table.

_Hopefully, that scant towel will be enough to cover my bottom._ Alas, as dreadfully predicted, it just _barely_ covered it. Most times, I was proud of my "well-rounded assets," but at times like these, I wish they were a little less rounded.

As they started working on our backs, Blake turned, reached out and touched my arm softly. "Feeling better?"

I smiled shyly at him. "Yes, thank you. It's exactly what I needed. Next time, I'll be the one giving you surprises, though." His beautiful face lit up, giving me a devilish grin.

"I'll hold you to that!" I nodded, tranquility washing over me as I closed my eyes while I continued facing him.

_Shouldn't I be mourning the loss of my relationship with Kyle?_ Yet, from the moment I opened my eyes today, Blake had railroaded my thoughts, putting Kyle somewhere faraway and distant. Except for the email...

How was _that_ possible? I was crying my eyes out last night and, today, I felt like an entirely different person.

Powerful hands started to work their way down to my lower back. Hovering around where the slope of my butt started. Kneading thumbs and fingers made the towel slide lower. I gasped from a jolt of pain and then exhaled deeply, lips slightly parted. The pain felt good and I welcomed it. The stress I had from the last couple of weeks had taken its toll on my body.

Opening my eyes, I found Blake staring intently at me. He didn't smile or speak; instead he kept those magnetic eyes locked onto mine. I swallowed, nervous. Those eyes had the power to penetrate and reach inside of me. It was disconcerting. _He's been doing that a lot today._

Not knowing what to do, I closed my eyes again. _Christ,_ _I'm so screwed_! Heaven help me if he did try something.

God knows I had a hard time resisting Blake when he asked something of me, however this Blake—pure full-on Casanova-mode Blake—would be my undoing.

The smell of roses and the crackle of fire lulled me to sleep, unperturbed and tranquil. I happily dozed off into a blissful slumber.

I woke up from the soft click of a door closing. Befuddled from my nap, I glanced around and realized that I was alone, lying there, almost naked and asleep.

The darkened lighting from the candles made it hard to see much further into the room.

"Blake?" I called out, sitting up and looking for my robe, but it seemed to have vanished! It was nowhere in sight.

Biting my lip, I pulled my long hair forward to cover my breasts; it was good enough to cover my nipples, but not enough to cover the outline of my boobs. I tried to gather my wits.

"In here!" called out Blake. Where was _in here_?

Slowly, walking barefoot in a thong with my boobs partially covered by my long hair, I glanced around in the dimly lit room. "Blake!" my voice laced with urgency. I started to make my way to the pool area, but couldn't see him.

Instantly, out of nowhere, he started gliding from the darkened corner of the left-side of the pool.

My eyes rounded in admiration. My, God! I'm going to have a heart-attack.

Gaping at his muscled pecs, six-pack abs and his wet hair swept back; I felt a jolt of instantaneous lust. I swallowed hard. He was absolutely breathtaking. _Wow. I've never seen his chest before. NOW, I really think he was made perfectly!_

Rooted to where I was standing, heart beating erratically and _barely_ breathing, I was mesmerized by his sheer beauty. I barely forgot to take note that I was almost as naked as he was.

"Care to join?" he asked, glancing at me with the same look he'd had at the massage tables. He looked like he was ready to pounce. Still and waiting... __ The look was full of yearning... and pure, blatant lust.

My stomach flip-flopped.

Standing there—virtually naked—I was staggered, astonished.

Being in that room, with _him_ , the air—the smell of heady perfumed roses, the darkened setting of candles, making the room glow—I suddenly felt like I was there purposely to do his bidding!

Enraptured and enthralled, I slowly walked to the pool, joining my god-like mortal of a man without breaking eye contact.

I went into the pool that was scattered with rose petals. The water gently rippled as I went deeper in, but I stopped when the water barely hit the tips of my hair.

Standing on the very last step of the pool, I looked over to where he stood, unmoving like a statue, although his electric midnight eyes roved all over my body, branding me. I gasped from the burning, ardent-filled scrutiny of his roaming eyes.

He moved toward me, his tanned, rippling body glistening with water. My eyes examined his abs, slowly making my way to his hardened chest, his broad shoulders, his neck, his enticing lips, until my eyes stopped at his burning, silver-rimmed, midnight blue eyes.

The air was charged, electric and perfervid.

Looking up to his face, I was stunned frozen. He was so tall and all male.

I gasped again as he traced his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes darkening.

"You look like a goddess; exquisite and beautiful," he rasped out as the back of his finger gently stroked my neck and collarbone with utter concentration. I shuddered from his delicate touch. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you, my sweet Sienna. I've always wanted you—from the moment our eyes met. _I wanted you, badly_ , but you were with someone else. I've been patient—biding time—until you were free, and so here we are."

I drew breath and slightly wetted my dry lips. _He'd always wanted me? What?! This was insane! How the heck did I not see this?_

Being with Blake would be passionate, thrilling and tumultuous; however, did I have the capacity to go through a circus ring? I wanted him, no doubt. My mind boggled; I couldn't think straight. As much as I was attracted to Blake, I didn't know if I was ready, _just yet_. He was too intense, too commanding, too everything. At the same time, I was hypnotized and my mind was beyond puzzled. It really was disconcerting.

"Blake, I—" I looked at him with beseeching eyes, licking my dry lips. "I don't think I'm ready for this. I mean, I'm attracted to you, but this is too sudden. You must see—understand—that I _need_ time." I searched his eyes as he studied mine, waiting for him to answer me.

After what felt like forever, I saw him nod his head. "All right, my lovely Sienna. I've waited for eight months; I can wait a little more. I'll wait until you are ready, but I want to make something clear, I don't just want you for your body... when you're mine, I want your all; _your body, your soul, your mind._ I will consume you. I'll be your world and in return, I'll worship the ground you walk on and make you a very happy woman," he spoke with a strong, decisive and determined voice without his eyes leaving mine.

_He wants me. Blake Knightly. Wants. Me._ I was excited, yet at the same time, I wanted to run for the hills.

"Blake, if you must insist, but until I make up my mind, you have to respect my boundaries." I gave him a peck on the left cheek, moved a little closer to his ear and whispered, "Thank you." I accidentally grazed my nipples on his chest and the friction tingled all the way to my core. He immediately hissed through his clenched teeth. _Oh my God_. That felt wonderful.

"Sienna, try not to test my limits because I would gladly throw caution out and take you right here until I've had my fill of that glorious body; until you're limp and worn-out from me fucking you," he warned me with tested patience.

"Right."

_What the hell do I say to that?_

I stepped out of the pool, leaving him as his powerful gaze burned holes through my back. I daren't look back unless I wanted to play with fire. He was searing, scorching and sizzling with fire waiting to be unleashed. _ON. ME._

Shit.

# Chapter Sixty-Three

I woke up startled from my surroundings and it dawned on me that I was in Blake's apartment. The bedroom was simple with a touch of understated, warm elegance and twice the size of my room. A modern, queen-sized bed sat in the middle of the room with russet-colored, damask patterned wallpaper. The other two walls were painted an ecru shade, complementing the chic design. Amber colored lamps made of an actual rock sat on both sides of the bed. A contemporary chaise lounge in pistachio silk slanted in the corner along with a large antique mahogany coffee table. The room basked aglow with three shaded, floor-to-ceiling glass windows, overlooking the streets of Mayfair.

His entire apartment, which was the whole tenth floor, was styled in the same manner; modern contemporary and expensive French antique accents. The combination gave the whole place subtle warmth. I smiled. The comparison of the apartment and its owner was uncanny.

I gently rubbed my eyes as I yawned. Events from yesterday flashed through my drowsy head. He drove us straight back to his place from the spa. Surprised, yes, but I was too exhausted to argue with him to take me back to my own place in Covent Garden. Deep down, I was pleased that he'd wanted me to be close to him.

He cooked dinner and it was superb; I hadn't known he was such a skilled cook. After we ate, we caught a couple of episodes of _Game of Thrones_ from the DVR player. We lounged with a bottle of red wine and chocolate truffles from the famous La Maison du Chocolat—a completely marvelous way to end our day.

During the entire evening, he never once tried to make a pass. He was respectful and kept his distance, though he did find ways to subtly touch me. _Whereas you turn into a brainless creature every time he does touch you?_ I was aware of him; whether he was in the room or not.

He acted like the usual Blake and that put me at ease. I was relieved. My mind was confused when it came to him. I mean, I knew what _I_ wanted, but when he was being all sexy and seductive, my thoughts turned to mush and that was perplexing.

When it had been time for bed, he'd handed me one of his silk boxers and a shirt to wear. He decided—without asking me—that I should stay with him for the next few days until Sunday, when Luce arrived.

School started Monday as he, too, began his lengthy training to become a tycoon like his grandfather. Blake would be shadowing him until he was ready to retire, which loomed on the horizon. Blake had been learning the ins and outs of the business for the last two years, but this time, he'd take on most of the responsibilities. His grandfather wanted Blake to take over as soon as he'd deemed him ready.

Their family business was vast from what Toby had told me. From oil to five-star restaurants, real estate, hotels and casinos, merely to name a few. I doubt their family would be estimated to be worth billions without an enormously diverse portfolio.

Blake knew full well that his granddad would not be there forever. He needed to prepare for the inevitable, hence the prepping and training of him at the age of twenty-four. He's almost four years older than me.

The only thing that I was worried about was Blake changing. He was rich now, making a lot of money from his own investments, but when the time came, when he could tap unlimited funds and resources while being surrounded by powerful men as well as the world's most beautiful women, I was afraid that would change him. I heard Toby joke about it before. I was quite certain that he too believed it was possible. Money and power could be intoxicating, especially at Blake's impressionable age.

I had stretched for five minutes or so before going to bed. It helped me sleep better and my body didn't ache as much if I stuck to one side during my entire sleep. The moment my head hit the pillow, I immediately went to sleep. Sometime during the night, I felt him bend over and softly brush my cheek with his lips and whisper, "Sleep well, my Sienna." Then he quietly left my room to go to his own.

I slept like a baby after that.

Still lounging in bed, his beige, fifteen-hundred count Egyptian cotton sheets haphazardly tangled on my legs, I looked across the room and stared at the sky through the windows. I felt well rested and _almost_ like I was myself again.

My face heated and my stomach coiled as memories of the pool incident surfaced. I groaned. _Damn that man. He looked so good. That body... my God._ Thinking about it made me all hot and bothered. I would never, for the life of me, fathom how I managed to decline his offer last night. It would undoubtedly baffle my psyche for the rest of my life.

Not hearing the door creak open, I was surprised when Blake sat on the bed across from me, amused and sexy as hell. "Devising a plan to stay in bed all day, poppet?"

_If he only knew... how long can I endure this longing for him before I succumb to what my body is aching for?_

I noticed that he had light stubble growing on the sides of his face; it made him utterly and painstakingly gorgeous. _How does one manage to look beautiful after waking up in the morning?_ _I bet I look a fright._ He was wearing a fitted, black shirt and sheer, black cotton pajamas; I would not have guessed in a million years that he was a pajama man. I would have thought commando was more along the lines of his thing.

I looked away from his face. __ He'd caught me studying him several times already—much to my growing embarrassment—I didn't need him catching me yet again.

" _Can we please_? I need to just rest and unwind," I exclaimed. I was still tired from my trip.

Watching me intently, he reached out, brushed the hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"As you wish."

I looked up, smiling and meeting his gaze. " _Really?_ " I asked, loving his easy, jovial demeanor.

"Yes, _really_!"

My laugh abruptly halted as he slid his body next to mine. I stiffened when his strong hands pulled and hugged me from behind. The sudden feel of his hard, chiseled chest made me shudder. I was frozen in shock. _Body,_ w _hat happened to waiting?_

_I want you_... my damn mind kept nagging.

His strong hand snaked around my waist, holding me tightly, imprisoning me to the feel of him. The heavy thud of his wildly beating heart was proof that he was as affected as I was. My body was shaking with hunger for Blake; a hunger that seemed to be getting close to impossible to _resist_.

"Hmmm... I just want to _smell_ you. I hardly slept knowing that you were sleeping in the next room. Can you grant me this small request, my sweet Sienna?" My body shivered with anticipated excitement. I nodded, urging him on.

His lips touched softly behind my earlobe as he trailed soft kisses all the way down to the base of my neck where he neatly pulled my hair to one side, exposing my neck and inhaling deeply. He groaned with frustration and a burst of lust surged from my aching core.

_Just one kiss_ , I thought wildly. _I just want a taste._ Turning around to face him, we stared at each other intently. An electric current between us crackled and sizzled. It was heady, intoxicating, searing.

My gaze fell on his lips. _One taste, that's it._ Feeling bold, I licked my own bottom lip. _It's now or never. Do it_. Slanting my head, I kissed him very softly. A guttural sound came from his throat as he devoured my lips. His kiss was demanding with potent alacrity as I matched his passion.

_This. Gorgeous. Man. Wants. Me._

Hooking my leg on his hips, I locked them against me. The feel of him being _that_ close drove my body to a raging inferno. _I'm so screwed._

Feeling brazen, I tugged and pulled his shirt off. I needed to _touch_ , _feel_ , _taste_ his hardened chest. I greedily stroked his chest as his kisses became rapacious. Encouraged from his groans, I kissed his neck and ran my whole hand over his chest, scratching his erect nipple.

"Ah," Blake hissed from pain and pleasure.

He speedily flipped me on my back and kissed my swollen lips hard. He briskly opened my boxer-clad legs and positioned his hot, hard body above me. Our tongues clashed as I locked both of my legs around him; his erection pressed boldly against his sheer pajamas. The heat of his erection rubbed with urgency against my covered mound, sending me into a tailspin.

We were on fire. I felt his need, his frustration, his want and desire from his blazing kisses. The mixture was heady and downright intoxicating.

I broke away from his mouth and moaned satisfyingly. The profound effect his body had on me was astounding. I felt drunk and more aroused than ever before.

"Blake," I gasped with my sex-awakened voice.

Gazing at me with lust-filled eyes, he ground his hips harder onto my core—making me even wetter. _Touch me._ _Please_. Panting hard like he'd run a marathon, he sat back, looking over my wanton state. _I can't breathe._ Time stood still. __ He softly caressed the cleft of the boxers, over my mound with his finger.

I whimpered and bit my lip, _hard_. _Blake... what you do to me..._

The evidence of my arousal seeped through the soaked silk fabric, wet and hot. His finger grazed it, teasingly and stopped right there while he held my gaze, and then spoke. "You're so beautiful. You have _no idea_ how much I want to fuck you, hard and fast as you scream my name when you orgasm. I want to feel you come apart while my cock fucks you harder." Oh, shit. My throat ran dry, his eyes pure with torment. "You have no idea... how much this is killing me, but I'm keeping my promise. _You will be mine, Sienna_. Not just for your body, I want _everything_ from you. I'll wait. You're worth the wait." His voice was gruff, but very much determined.

He shrugged and looked away. _Was he for real? What if I just want to get laid without the emotional hang-ups?_ "Blake—I— _are you serious?_ " I croaked out, wide-eyed in disbelief.

The infuriating man kissed me softly and then quickly pulled his body away. "Breakfast will be ready and waiting in ten minutes." With that, he left the bed and exited the door with an evident hard-on.

I was left with my mouth agape and still wide-open legs, waiting to be ambushed. _Who. Does. That? How can he just walk away when I'm more than willing? Because it isn't only the body he wants to possess. He wants me—body and soul—and he won't settle just for my body. He wants it all._

He wouldn't change his mind, either. He wouldn't make another move until I'd cleared my emotional closet and cleaned up all the cobwebs hanging loosely about. _How long will that take?_ I cursed. _Blake_. _Fucking_. _Knightly._

# Chapter Sixty-Four

Showered and dressed in Blake's Manchester United football jersey, I piled my hair up and went straight to the kitchen. Upon entering, I stood frozen and watched as Blake placed an omelet and some bacon on each plate. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was bare-chested, wearing only his well-worn jeans while also barefoot. His defined torso and six-pack made a rippling effect as he moved about. My mouth watered. _What is it with men in jeans and bare feet? The combination's simply irresistible!_ Was he trying to drive me insane? _He looks so deliciously yummy!_

Feeling my presence, he turned around. With a sexy grin, he sauntered to where I was standing, kissed my forehead and guided me to sit at the breakfast bar.

"Coffee?" the hot chef asked. I nodded, unable to speak, still mesmerized by the charming, barefoot-jean-clad god. He went over to the coffeepot. My eyes gawked as his impressive back muscles flexed when he moved. I restrained from licking that nicely sculpted back and that nicely dipped curve along his spine. Yum!

_This man is too sexy; it's criminal._

I could stare at him all day without becoming bored. It was like eye porn and he was a delectable subject. At the same time, though, I wanted to throttle him. There he was, acting like a good host, as if he hadn't left me hanging and yearning in the bedroom.

Coffee poured, he fixed it to my liking and placed the steaming cup in front of me with a sexy smirk. Blake's eyes twinkled. He was enjoying this. His eyes were dancing with amusement. __ Asshat!

"Blake, can you please put a shirt on?" I demanded petulantly. I didn't think my hormones could take another dose of this exuberant display of masculine perfection.

He just gave me a devilish smile and teasingly said, "Is it too much for you, Sienna? You just say the word and we can remedy that problem, _immediately_."

I shrugged. _What word? How about three words?_ Let's just fuck?

"Thought you needed a reminder—that we'd be _explosive_ together." That hoarse, gruff voice again. It was making my body hum like no other. "But I want your all, poppet."

_Don't I know it!_

"Baby steps, Blake." There was no doubt in my mind that we would be explosive, but I was trying to delay the inevitable. Once I let him in, there was no going back. There was no doubt in my mind that he would take everything; he would consume me without concession.

It would be easy to fall for Blake. Most women did, but I would be vulnerable, open, defenseless.

# ~S~

"Loser!" I proclaimed with a little victory dance, hands waving high and hips swaying.

"Don't count your eggs _yet_ , two more games to go," Blake declared playfully.

We were playing Scrabble. _I'll show him who's the BOSS!_ I had won two-to-one and he was a little annoyed because I kept teasing him. This was the second time I'd won a round with him and we'd played possibly a hundred games all together. I was ecstatic in my victory!

I was dancing one of my victory dances again when he pulled me to the couch and tickled me until I was out of breath, panting loudly as my thoughts were provoked. I badly wanted him to kiss me again, but he never tried. I wouldn't beg, though I was dying inside. It was as if the incident that morning had never happened. _How does he switch off like that? Hot and smoldering one second to casual and friendly the next?_

# ~S~

Standing in the open, built-in wine cellar, I was biting and twisting my lips in frustration. My indecisiveness was causing me to contemplate for the umpteenth time as to what kind of red wine to drink when he snaked his arm over my shoulder and grabbed his preferred wine.

"Do you feel like a bottle of Barolo?" Blake asked close to my ear. His question barely registered because I was hyperventilating.

I cleared my throat before I responded with a steady sounding voice, "I was actually thinking of Pinot Noir or _that_ , but you've made up my mind. Go get the wine ready. I'll go fetch the popcorn, Parisian cake and the fruits."

I could get used to the domesticated scene with Blake. He was so easy to be around; charming, thoughtful, witty and _sexy_ , but most of all, he made me laugh. It wouldn't be difficult to fall in love with him.

We watched another movie, our third one that day. _Love Actually_ , one of our favorite movies. It was funny, sad and heart-warming at the same time. I snuggled close, drawing his heat and the need to be near him. He pulled me closer and placed my head against his strong, solid chest and held me firmly. I listened to his heart beating steadily, closing my eyes as he started to stroke my arm gently and I sighed with blissful contentment.

Life certainly was starting again, whether I wanted it to or not.

# Chapter Sixty-Five

The sound of my ring tone blaring jolted me awake. I was about to reach for my phone when it suddenly dawned on me that there was a strong, heavy arm clutching my waist.

_Blake._

I turned around to see if the noise had awoken him, but his steady breathing showed he was fast asleep. I unhooked his draping arm carefully as I slid off the bed, grabbed my phone from the side table and left the bedroom as I softly made my way to the living room.

_Why did Blake sleep next to me?_ He didn't the night before last.

Either way, I was happy he did.

The entire flat was dark, but the moonlight helped me find my way around. When my toe touched the plush, black area rug, I opened my phone to see who the caller was. _Who would call me at this time of night? Luce? Jen?_

_Kyle._ It was him. Again.

_I might as well get this out of the way._ If I had to start considering being with Blake, it was best to clear out as much "Kyle baggage" as I could. The other issues I had would continue needing to be worked on. I'd have to talk to Chad, my gay, go-to person and a very dear friend, about this. He was my unofficial therapist.

Tapping on the call back button, he immediately picked up after a couple of rings.

"God, Sienna! I've been going crazy here! _Are you okay, baby_?" Kyle sounded frantic and like he _was_ going crazy. _Why is he still pursuing this issue? He made it perfectly obvious what his intentions were the last time I saw him._

"Yeah, Kyle; I'm great! This call better be important if you had to wake me up at _FOUR_ in the morning. So, what do you want, Matthews?" I sounded exactly how I felt; furious and annoyed.

"Jesus, baby, take it easy, will you? I've been trying to reach you, but you've been ignori—"

"It was done with good reason, Kyle! I told you—very clearly in fact—not to contact me again. But _no, no, no_! You never listen to me. I'm hurting; that's a given. It wasn't just our dating relationship that ended; I lost my childhood best friend, too! _So, am I okay with that_? Not really, but it was _your_ choice. It was _your_ choice to go behind my back— _cheat_ —and start dating Brooke before having the decency— _like other men do_ —to simply break-up with their girlfriend first!" I shrieked with erupting anger.

I heard him sigh, heavy and pained. "I'm sorry, Sienna _, baby_. I've been missing you so badly. I've been drinking non-stop and got a DUI. I had a hard time handling things without you. _I am hurting, too_. You left me, even if it was for school... but you left and went on with your life without me. When you called, happy and excited about your day, _I felt left out_. It had been you and me against the world since we were kids, but in the end... there was _just me_. I was lonely—I needed you—but I couldn't beg you to give up your life for me. You already went through so much with your family. I can't ask it of you. Breaking it off was the best thing to do—and I was getting by... trying to live my life... working harder on my career. It was helping and, for the first time since we said our goodbyes at the airport, I felt like I was living again." He drew air into his lungs before continuing. _Crap._

"When you showed up at Katie's party, everything went down the drain... all the things I told myself that had helped me get through were forgotten the moment I saw you again. You looked even more beautiful..." He sounded choked up; his thoughts and feelings unconcealed. My stomach churned.

"I simply wanted you— _I needed you, I still need you, Sienna_ —like air to breathe. You're my life and I can't just go on living and not be with you. Without you, I'm in hell. _I'm desperate for you..._ and without a doubt... in my mind—my heart—I'm _still hopelessly in love_ with you, Sienna," his voice was barely a whisper. I wouldn't have heard him if the apartment wasn't so eerily quiet.

_Oh Kyle!_ _This conversation's killing me inside._ He was dying from pain. __ I felt it. I felt his pain and it tore me up inside because I didn't want him to hurt. _I love him, but I can't go through this; I'm beyond hurt._ The man who I'd placed so highly on a pedestal had crushingly betrayed me and appallingly let me down. That was something I couldn't get past or forget about.

I sighed with a heavy heart, the weight pulling me down, "Kyle..."

"Sienna..." His voice came out gruff and anguished. "Please, please, I beg you. All these years I never asked much from you, but I'm begging you now, give me another chance. Let's give us another shot. I won't let you down this time. I promise you I'll figure it out, speak to Dad and work in our branch in London. I'll do anything. _I'll promise you anything_. Just please, think about it? We can get married, if you want... I'd give anything to have you back... just please, Sienna, forgive me and love me again."

He sounded so broken and extremely desperate.

I sat on the floor, leaning on the couch with my lips quivering. What he said broke me in two. If he had come clean and been honest about his feelings, we wouldn't have broken up. We would still be together. Plan our lives, get married and have babies. It was what we talked about. He had thrown that out the window because he was lonely. I had been lonely, too, for the whole time we were apart, but I hadn't acted on it. What I wanted most was trust, honesty and loyalty and Kyle lost on all three counts.

_Can I take him back? After what he's done, I could, possibly, try to see if things could work out if he'd showed remorse and guilt. I might've before—before Blake told me how he felt about me. Hold on, did he say anything about what he felt? Besides wanting me? No. He hadn't. His intentions were clear, though. He wanted me, in his bed, yet other than that, he'd never spoken about any indication about the future. It was sex he was after—my whole cooperation—but not once did he mention he was after my heart._

I mentally shook my head. _It doesn't matter._ My heart was not up for anyone to grab. Love made you weak and opened you up for pain and suffering. Never again! I took a chance with Kyle because he had been everything to me, but he'd reinstated my beliefs by proving them right.

"Kyle, I forgive you. I do. It would have been easier for us if you'd told me about your feelings then—how terrible it was for you—but you never uttered a word to me about your pain and I'm sorry for that. I am. However, asking me to give us another try? That's a bit too much. I can't trust you. You hurt me and I'm not ready to forgive that yet. I'm so sorry for everything, but it's all too late now; I can't be with you," my voice trembled because each word punctured me deeply.

Never in a million years had I imagined that I would cause Kyle pain and suffering. I wanted him to be happy and part of me continued to want to take all that pain away. He meant that much to me, but I couldn't sacrifice myself for his happiness.

I just couldn't.

"So, please, I'm begging you now, Kyle, I need space. I can't talk for a while. Maybe in a year we could be friends again, who knows? However, right now I simply can't. We just have to move on with our lives, separately. Goodbye, Kyle... I'll always miss you." Those last two sentences were torturous to utter. The pain in my heart was so acute, I gasped for breath.

I immediately ended the call before he had the chance to speak. I almost ran to the bathroom across the hall, but I was careful not to make a lot of noise and wake up Blake. Blake awake was the last thing I needed right then. He'd grill me until he'd gotten all the facts as to why I was distraught.

The bathroom was dark and comforting. The moment I closed the door, I slid down it and sank onto the cold marble tiles then cried, _hard_. I cried because Kyle was the only family I had growing up. Because he was my best friend, my first love.

It hurt, but I didn't have it in me to forget what Kyle had done. He made his bed. He simply needed to grow up and accept that sometimes things just didn't work the way you pictured them.

After weeping for what seemed like an eternity, I washed my face and swollen eyes. I stared at the mirror, studying my distressed state, complete with blotchy skin from crying. _That's enough crying. You've shed it all and you have nothing left. Be strong._

I walked slowly back to the bedroom and positioned my body next to a sleeping Blake, curling up, closing my eyes and praying for sleep to come so I didn't have to think about my life. Even if just for a little while. Experiencing that kind of loss certainly made me realize that life would never be the same again for me.

_Kyle_. He'd always be a part of me. I would always remember him as the man who took me in, held me close and protected me. He was my hero, my love, my best friend.

_Goodbye, my Kyle. I will always miss you._

# Chapter Sixty-Six

Waking up the next day was brutal. My body was lethargic and my head pounded. I groaned and covered my head with a pillow. As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day, though, I knew that I needed to keep moving to find some sanity.

Reaching for my phone, I was shocked to find that it was already eleven-thirty. _Haul your lazy butt out of bed, Sienna._

Sitting on the bed, I decided to text Chad.

Me: _Hey, love! Are you busy? Want to meet me @ the studio to let off some steam?_ -S

Dragging myself to the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth then studied my reflection. My eyes were red and swollen from crying, my skin blotchy and my hair was a tangled mess.

_Oh, Kyle! What a disaster._

After I had showered, I changed into my freshly laundered dress that I'd worn a few days ago. It was time to go back and change. As much as I liked wearing Blake's clothes, I missed my own. Putting on some gloss, I went to go look for him and found him in his library which also served as his office. He was on a call in a heated discussion and engrossed with something on his laptop. I backed away and went to the kitchen to give him time to take care of whatever was so important.

I sat at the breakfast bar enjoying my coffee and croissant when I received a text from Chad.

Chad: _Sure, baby love. What time do you want to meet? I'm free now. Want to grab lunch somewhere? Or better yet, how about I come over with Chinese? xxx_

Smiling, I eagerly replied to meet me at my apartment in an hour and Chinese would suffice.

I put my phone down, sipping my coffee and enjoying a buttery croissant when Blake strolled in with what seemed to be an empty coffee mug and a serious face.

"Everything okay?" I inquired lightly, wondering where he'd gotten his mood from.

Blake shrugged. "Just work. We're trying to open a hotel and casino in Marbella and there seems to be a problem with permits as well as budget overruns that I have to look into."

"That's unfortunate. I hope you guys can figure out a way to fix that. Marbella's a prime location. I'm sure you and your people will figure out a way. You're good at that."

I melted when he gave me his sexy smile. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, poppet."

"Anytime, Knightly" I winked at him as I retreated back to nursing my coffee.

"Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting Chad for lunch at my flat in an hour and we'll hit the studio later in the afternoon, perhaps."

Blake turned and walked over to the coffee pot. Stirring his contents with two teaspoons of sugar before returning to his former post, leaning against the kitchen sink. "Sounds like fun! Will you be back here tonight?"

"Do you want me to? I'm sure you're busy with work, Blake. I don't want to impose any longer."

He left the sink, came over to where I sat and swerved my chair so I sat there facing him. "Listen, you're not imposing. I invited you to stay here. I would love for you to stay with me tonight before Monday comes. We'll be busy, but always count on me to make time for you." _Swoon._

"I love spending time with you, too," I said shyly. I was still not used to being with Blake like _that_. It caught me by surprise every time.

"What time do you plan to leave? I'll take you," he said over his coffee as he took a sip.

"Are you sure? Aren't you busy with the Marbella project?" He couldn't keep pushing his work aside for me. I didn't want him to get into trouble with his grandfather.

" _Yes_ , but I'm still taking you. End of Story."

_Bossy, aren't we?_

"All right, in that case, save dinner for me. My turn to cook."

"Brilliant! Apart from your coffee making skills, I haven't tried anything else." Blake was back to teasing.

I punched him lightly on the arm. "Hey! Don't make fun of me! I'll load your dish with cayenne pepper just to punish you for that!" I happily grinned at him.

" _Oh, really_! My type of punishment will make you suffer with sweet torture. So watch it, my sweet. Take _only_ what you can handle." Threats, though hot, but threats all the same.

_Am I one to back down? Don't think so, buster!_ "We'll see about that, Knightly," I retorted, amused.

He held my hand as we both got up and he went to fetch his keys to drive me back home to meet with Chad for lunch.

# Chapter Sixty-Seven

"Have some room for dessert, love?"

I looked at Chad, astonished that he could even stuff himself more, considering how much Chinese takeaway he had consumed. "Go help yourself; I'm in a coma." I moaned as I gently patted my belly.

"We'll just do double time with dancing tonight. It's okay; cheesecake?" Flagging a forkful of blueberry cheesecake in my mouth.

I groaned in frustration with his persistent attitude, knowing full well I had a weakness for sweets. Evil man! _Heavens! That was delicious_.

I got up and went to the kitchen to prepare some coffee. When I returned, Chad was already almost halfway done with the cheesecake.

"Is something's bothering you? What is it, baby love?" He glanced at me with a perfectly arched, ebony brow. It was as good a time as any.

Feeling helpless and confused, I spilled everything about Blake. They were friends by association, therefore Chad didn't know I had the hots for Blake Knightly and my confession shocked him.

He whistled after I finished with my tale, took a big gulp of coffee and looked me square in the eye, "Wow. That's some story." Chad lightly fanned himself. _You don't say, buster?_ I smirked. "I'm usually pretty good at these things, but I never once thought he saw you that way, love. I mean, apart from a few lingering glances here and there... Wow, that man can certainly put a mask on! God, I can't believe you didn't just shag him! How could you not even think of going all the way, love? I would've yelled at the top of my lungs and told him to ' _pummel me any way you want me, baby!'_ " Chad looked all hot and bothered all of sudden. I was sure his thoughts involved the sweaty, smoldering hot body of Blake. I had no doubt in my mind Chad would do exactly that. We both had the _hots_ for Blake Knightly.

I laughed loudly and then, smiling at my dear friend, I confided, "I was sort of ready to do it all the way, but he resisted and I admire him for that. It's difficult enough that I just barely got out of a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I _like_ Blake—more than I should at the moment—and when he's around, he's all I think about, but I'm not emotionally ready. I'm drained and I can't simply put myself in that situation. Not right now, maybe in a few months. Blake's an intense person. He will consume me and I'm not ready for that kind of emotional rollercoaster. Not yet."

It was very confusing to be in that position. There I was, trying to gather my bearings after such a riotous upheaval with Kyle and a whirlwind of hotness of the formidable god that was Blake Knightly had been added. What was a girl to do?

"Even though he's a deliciously sinful specimen, I get where you're coming from," Chad sympathized. "Maybe you can still have fun with him without getting too attached? Or you can just enjoy being single and see what's out there. God knows you haven't yet experienced London single! Maybe it's time you should, love! I'll be with you all the way! This is so exciting." He looked wistful, like he was imagining all sorts of scenarios in his head. _I bet his are more revealing than mine._

Blinking a few times, I leaned back on the couch and exhaled, sighing. Chad had a point. For me to jump from one relationship to another was not good, _everyone knew that_. I still had baggage to sort through with Kyle. I couldn't think about him without feeling a heavy knot in my chest. Everything was unbelievably complicated.

"You're right. Maybe being single is the answer to all this."

"There you go. Speaking of fun, I have a different motive for coming here. I need a model for my theme with the art show I have in eleven weeks and I want you to pose for me... with a male model, who I don't know at the moment—"

"Pose?"

"Yes, pose! Model for me! For my grunge sensual theme—"

"I'm not model material, Chad!"

"I beg to differ. Have you seen your body, Sienna? C-cup breasts, small waist and that ass! Although, most of all, you are gorgeous! You look sensual and you fit my theme. I don't see anyone else that would be as fitting, baby love. Do this for me and I'll be forever in your debt. Will you do it, love?" He was on his knees with a huge pout and dark eyes, pleading. Chad, with his flair for the dramatics, didn't exactly hold back when he was desperate.

That meant I was the only person he had in mind. _Sigh, the things we do for the people we love._ "Ah! How you tug at my heart. You just have to go looking all sad! Fine! I'll do it! You can bet your skinny ass that you'll be indebted to me for a while! When does it start?"

"I have to speak to a few guys tomorrow. I'll let you know by Tuesday. Shooting will be in around a week or two. The images I want are risqué and you'll be technically nude with undies, just to warn you." He looked delirious and sheepish at the same time, happy that his project was well on its way.

_Technically nude? Shit. Bite me._ I pulled my legs to my chest. Thoughts of the shoot mocked my mind. What if it looked obscene and tacky? "These better be tasteful, Chad," I warned.

Chad merely huffed. "Baby love, I only do it _with_ taste and class! You know that!" True, I did know that. His artworks were appealing and riveting. I was sure my lack of confidence came from my own insecurities.

After lunch, we left to go for a walk around Bond Street and went inside Selfridges before hitting the gym. He needed some apparel and he enjoyed modeling them as I sat, cheerfully critiquing his choices.

A couple of hours later, we left for Hampstead and hit the gym. They had floor-to-ceiling-mirrors that surrounded the room. There were six rooms in total and we took one that wasn't occupied.

Damp with perspiration, I gulped a whole bottle of water. The four sets of samba gave me a much needed workout and it felt great.

"Get your sweet, Brazilian ass back here! Time to shake it for Salsa!" Chad called out as he was jumping about and browsing through his iPod.

"Coming!" I yelled as I made my way to the middle of the room. I studied the image before me. Dressed in my black leggings and cut-off, loose shirt that hung off one shoulder, I looked flushed and glowing.

The two-hour workout with Chad had left me in a happy state as I made my way through the checkout counter in Waitrose on Marylebone High Street. I was going to make spinach salad with cherry tomatoes and stuffed mushrooms, lasagna with hot Italian sausage instead of beef, garlic bread and tiramisu to finish the meal.

I paid for my items and hurried outside to hail a cab. Sitting comfortably inside, I texted Blake that I was on my way with groceries in hand and to meet me in the lobby.

# Chapter Sixty-Eight

Playing with my wine glass, I took a sip and looked at the man across from me. His fitted black shirt emphasized his bulging biceps and broad shoulders, making my thoughts slide downward into explicit territory. "Blake..."

He looked up from his tiramisu. "Hmm?"

"Is it okay if we keep this— _whatever this is_ —between you and me? Until, I've thought things through?" Right, like _whatever this is_ would be a suitable description.

Something passed in his eyes before he responded, "If that's what you wish, then I'll oblige, Sienna."

"Thank you. Since we're on the subject, what is it you're really after? A relationship? A fling? _Friends with benefits?_ " The list could go on really.

"A relationship, but as I said before, it's your decision. I am not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to, however if you are, I want everything and _only_ you, exclusively. I don't share what's mine." That was good to hear. I mean, I didn't want to share him if he was giving me the goods.

"I see. That's a lot to take in." I looked up to him with a serious expression because the damn atmosphere had dropped and it was becoming quite serious.

"It is. That's why I want you to think about it carefully." Blake leaned back on his chair, studying my reaction to his words. His eyes were cautious and gauging.

"What happens to our friendship? I don't want to ruin what we have. It's a major factor for me." It was one of my many fears. Blake and I could lose a lot if things turned ugly.

"I know and our friendship means a lot to me, too, but I want you! I'm _burning_ for you, Sienna. I can't seem to get you out of my head! It's driving me insane. It's the only thing I can think about; _you're_ the only thing that I think about. I can't think straight, Sienna!" Blake's face was unashamed from his admission. If anything, he looked unfaltering. He was a man that knew what he wanted.

I was starting to become weary. "How about we try friends with benefits? No strings attached kind of thing first?" _Say yes_ , my thoughts pleaded to no avail as he shook his pretty head.

"No. I _want_ all __ the strings; the good and the bad. If it's too much to be with me because you're still recovering from your ex then, as I said before, I'll wait. I want you to want this, too; badly enough that you can't wait to be with me. I want you open only for me and no one else." _My. He just keeps on pressing and pushing forward, doesn't he? Fuck, he's so damn delicious, too._

His unabashed admission turned me on while it also gave my stomach butterflies. I desperately wanted to kiss him. Blake was the kind of man who knew what he wanted and didn't hesitate to get it; he could be utterly ruthless.

"Why me, Blake? I know you don't do serious relationships. I mean, you have so many women who don't have any emotional hang-ups or issues. I just don't get it; you could have any woman you want. What makes me different compared to Camilla or the others?"

"That's easy. You're different because you're all sassiness and sexiness; well, most of the time, but sometimes you can just be gullible. You're unique and I've never felt this connection with anyone. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I knew this even before we kissed, which merely confirmed what I knew. You feel it, too. I've seen you trying to tame it down, yet it only intensifies. This is the point of no return for us, Sienna. You know that."

Point of no return, he said. _Did I know that?_ Yes, I sort of did. Blake didn't do things in small measures and I was next on his list, apparently.

"It's like that, huh?" I gave him a teasing smile as I got out of my chair and walked across the table to where he was sitting. His face lit-up with a knowing smile.

_Does the bad boy want to come out and play?_ I thought provokingly as his smile became dangerous. Oh yeah. He definitely does!

I stopped before him, hooked my right leg to the other side of the chair and straddled him. He gasped at the sudden contact of my body. Without hesitation, I took his face with both of my hands and kissed him passionately, _deeply_. My kiss showed him how much his words affected me. How he made me forget about everything except for him.

The kiss was ferocious as our hunger battled against our tongues. I pushed my ass down harder and ground against him. We both groaned as his hands gripped my waist, pressing me firmly in place against his jeans that revealed his hardened shaft. The friction was pure torture. The heat of his rock-hard erection against my soaked underwear was madness.

My body took over; I suddenly felt possessed, wanting to feel more of him as I rocked myself slowly against him. I was on fire as I kissed his neck, sucking it until he moaned my name. I slowly kissed him as I became lost in a blanket of mindless lust with that beautiful man. The spiral feel of emotions rocketed through my body as we devoured each other. My heart ached. I wanted him. So. Badly.

However, what tore me up inside was the prospect of losing him altogether as my dear friend. He meant a lot to me and, by sleeping with him, there was a huge possibility that our friendship could not and would not survive.

Breaking from our locked lips, he touched his forehead against mine. "You've enslaved me, but I'm asking you to stop torturing me. E _nd my agony. S_ ay yes." His voice sounded different; it was pleading and laced with hungered passion. It simply thrilled me to the core. I had this power over him, and for a man such as Blake, that was something important. I heeded.

"Blake—"

He took my chin and looked me straight in the eye. "Be mine, Sienna. Your body tells me that it's mine, but your mind resists. Stop fighting it and let it conquer us. We're fated to be together. I knew it from the moment I met you. You were made for me." _How sure could he be?_

"Blake, I can't have sex with you tonight... but I can help you. I'll help you... get off..." My voice trailed off, lust-filled and with purpose.

Empowered from his reaction, I made up a plan. I might not be ready to do the deed, but I was ready to have fun. _What fun it'll be, too._

I peeled myself off him and led him straight into the living room. I dimmed the lights and directed him to sit on the couch. "Take all your clothes off except your boxers." I commanded with absolute seriousness.

Walking over to his iPod player, I chose the song "I've Been Thinking" by Handsome Boy Modeling. It was fitting for what I had in mind for him. When I turned around, he was already situated in the middle of the couch and oh so ready! Blake's compelling eyes preyed on me, scrutinizing each move I made. His smooth, six-pack abs and torso looked too tempting not to be noticed. His black boxer briefs fit him like a glove. My, oh my, what a package!

I swallowed and started to panic. _Shit cakes. Do I know what I'm doing? You've got it under control. You're fine. You can do this! Now, move._

"I need to get something. I'll be back in a flash and don't move an inch, Knightly." I almost _ran_ to the bathroom, fetched what I needed and darted back to where Blake was patiently waiting for me. "So, where were we?" I murmured as I got close to him. "Oh yeah, pleasing you, Mister Knightly." Smiling and biting my lip, I felt excited and wicked at the same time. I felt like I was on top of the world when he looked at me.

Opening his legs a little wider, I stood before him with my long, dark hair wild and mussed-up, lips swollen from his kisses. I untied the knot at my neck and pulled my short dress above my head, slowly and deliberately, making a teeny show for him as I let my dress drop on the floor.

When I heard him groan, it was exactly the push I needed. My eyes took him and his reaction in. His face was stoic as his eyes darkened, making his gold flecks stand out, his gaze penetrating me, burning unadulterated fire. With shaky hands, I unhooked my bra, swiftly pulled it off and seductively placed it on my fingers, letting it dramatically drop to the floor. I stood before him with my hot-pink lacy thong and four-inch, patent nude, Rolando Louboutin pumps.

_Still_ , no sound came from him, but his eyes spoke volumes. They were locked on my round and heavy breasts. His penetrating gaze alone had the power to make my nipples harden and my womanhood drench with excitement.

Strategically bending over him with my butt in the air, I kissed his neck and slowly made my way to his tanned and chiseled torso. I licked the outer part of his nipple until it hardened and covered with goose bumps. My hot tongue flicked it slowly and my teeth playfully bit it.

He gasped. "Fuck, Sienna. You're killing me." Slowly, but surely, they say...

Glancing at him through my lashes, I gave him a cat-like smile. "I've only just started. Be patient, young man!"

I went back to assaulting his left nipple then took my other hand and scratched the counterpart. Blake buckled. I smiled. _You like that, don't you?_

My tongue snaked slowly to his navel and I nipped around it. My fingers traced the outline of his boxer-briefs, soft and light, only enough to make him tingle. I wanted him hot, ready and rabid.

My fingers gently pulled down his boxers and I gasped loudly from his springing cock. It was massive; the girth was thick with a big vein that outlined his hardened ridge. _Wow, impressive!_ My eyes were greedy, my mouth watered and my hands itched. _Hell to the mother fucking yes!_

I gathered my bearings and hastily pulled the boxers off his long legs. Kneeling, both of my hands gripped his thighs. I kissed his inner thigh, slowly and deliberately, as I made my way to his balls. My hand cupped them, _hard,_ and started to play with them—massaging and pulling a bit. Holding his balls firmly, careful not to touch his ready to combust cock, I slowly got up and bent over to kiss his neck. My lips assaulted; sucking and biting his earlobe while my hand continued to grip and squeeze his balls.

" _Sienna,_ " Blake muttered, edgy.

I felt his large hands cup and grip my ass. He gave my left butt cheek a loud spanking. "Ahh!" I yelped from pleasure, but he needed to hold back. It was my playtime, my show. "Naughty, naughty. Don't touch, Knightly." I hissed.

"I can't help it. Your beautifully shaped arse was right there just waiting to be spanked."

"Enough," I scolded the Brit.

He immediately shut his mouth when my hand found his manhood, stroking it slowly up and down its silky, hard length. The gesture made him close his eyes with his mouth hanging ajar.

"You like that, Mr. Knightly?" I inquired with a raspy, sultry voice. I licked my lips as I watched my hand touch him, his shaft got bigger and bigger.

" _Yes,_ " he responded, his voice thick and throaty.

Still stroking him, I used my other hand to reach for the oil and flipped it open. I drizzled and smothered it all over his throbbing cock as it freely oozed all the way to his balls. It wetted my hands as I massaged it on his body, spreading the oil all over his thighs, his torso and on my breasts. Once done, I retreated back to catering his hardened ridge.

Right hand on his cock and my left on his balls, stroking his lengthy cock slowly as I sucked his balls and played with them with my tongue. He rasped my name as if in pain. Easing my mouth slowly from his sack, I gripped his hardened length and stroked it as I covered his engorged head with my other free hand, swiping my oiled fingers at the crown, making delightful friction on his manhood.

Blake instantly buckled from my assault. "Fuck!"

Encouraged, I gently squeezed the head of his shaft as I rotated my hand, upping his pleasure as I simultaneously stroked the rest of his cock all the way to the base with fervent concentration. Blake was moaning my name, uninhibited in his delirious state. I accelerated the speed once I felt him grip my shoulder and pant loudly.

_Oh, he's so close. I want to see this compelling man come apart in my hand, in my mouth._

My determined tongue viciously caressed him as I touched my hand to his ready-to-combust head and massaged his balls. My hot, greedy mouth swallowed his swelling crown. I sucked him, hard. My tongue flicked on the small, slit opening of his shaft, where his creamy juices come out, before I hastily retreated to the bottom of his head where it was extremely sensitive, teasing him relentlessly.

I bobbed my head, twirling my tongue around his crown as my tongue swiped and stroked him harder, taking everything I could from him. Blake took my head and clutched his hands in my hair, firmly holding me in place. With another strong flick of my tongue, he finally surrendered, yelling my name as he unloaded himself in my mouth. I sucked him hard, devouring every drop of essence that he secreted; leaving not a drop behind.

Blake gasped for air as he stared wildly at me, fascinated. I pulled my mouth off his cock; his cum still sat creamily on my tongue. Without blinking, I wantonly gazed at him through my lashes while I swallowed his creamy seed, _slowly,_ and licked my lips after. Boy did that ever catch his attention.

_Hell, Blake even tastes divine._ Midnight with a tinge silver eyes blazed, never leaving mine. Blake hastily pulled me down on the couch and swiftly placed my hot aroused body underneath him. His dominating swiftness left me ravenous. To say my body was humming would be an understatement. At that point, it was singing at the opera house.

When he managed to find my lips and sealed them with his, he kissed me with pure abandonment. I kissed him back, matching his passion.

I felt drunk with lust—with need—all because of Blake. He did things to my body that I couldn't explain. It kept exploding when he was near, like he was the puppeteer and I was merely his puppet.

My pussy throbbed and my thong was beyond soaked. I was more than ready. Blake broke off the kiss, sought my neck while his hand cupped my breast, squeezing a hard nipple as he fiercely bit my neck _._

"Holy. Shit. Blake!!!!" I screeched.

Blake's still-hard cock teased and rubbed the outer layer of my barely covered mound "You're drenched, Sienna. Are you sure you don't want me to remedy that?" His roughened voice was hoarse against my ear and it made me shudder.

How I wanted him... to feel him inside of me, but it was not the right time.

Groaning my name loudly, Blake took his cock and determinedly guided the head around my pussy. Coaxing the lace with one swift nudge of his engorged head to move the elastic lace sideways, my swollen lips exposed to his assaulting eyes and awaiting cock.

Blake's eyes glittered.

_Not, yet_. I pleaded in my hazy mind, _not yet_.

"God, you're beautiful, Sienna." He softly rasped out as he gently parted my pussy with his cock. The engorged head gliding, slowly and gently, as it rubbed against my clit. _Dear me. That feels blindingly exquisite._ "I know we can't have sex. Don't worry," Blake gently assured me. I nodded, trusting him fully.

My chest heaved and my eyes closed. _Blake, what are you doing to me?_ I felt like a whole different person, not the old Sienna, but someone wanton, shameless.

My thoughts departed as he teased the tip of his head around my opening. Circling it slowly, _excruciatingly_ , until I was delirious from pleasure. His lips planted kisses all over my stomach and then he placed his mouth directly in front of my pussy. I hooked my leg on top of the couch and the other on his shoulder. _God, YES!!!_

"Open your eyes." I did as he commanded. "Never take your eyes off me. Watch what I can do to your body."

My eyes were the size of saucers, my mouth agape as I saw his tongue taste me with a slow flick, sucking my dripping clit. Blake took his thumb and played with it some more. The image of him going down on me, tasting me, was carnal and erotic. I almost lost it. I was mesmerized and couldn't take my eyes off him. My body was already strung out, but the raging onslaught of his tongue was too intense, and suddenly, I ran out of breath as my body quivered, responding beautifully to him.

"Come for me, my sweet Sienna." His mouth was unrelenting, savagely caressing my pussy as he inserted a finger into my molten opening. The pleasure it gave me was unbearable. My orgasm was closing in on me, fast.

My breathing halted when I felt him insert another finger. It found my spot and he rubbed both his fingers there, ceaselessly. "Yes, give it to me. Please!" I begged as I gripped the couch, scraping it with my nails as my orgasm rocked me in waves. My body twitched from my release and I was panting, out of breath.

Whoa!

I closed my eyes and sank back on the couch. _Energy all spent_ , I thought contently as I limply moved my hand to cover my eyes. _That was mind-blowing!_ Never in my years with Kyle had I experienced anything like it and that was only his tongue and fingers. Imagine what his cock would do to me when the time came. That thought alone made me want to jump on him and find out. I did say Blake made me shameless, didn't I?

Spent, Blake placed himself on top of me. He kissed my lips gently and tenderly. "Now, we're even." _Hell yeah! What a payback it was, too!_

He kissed my nose as he slowly got up and then swiftly plucked me off the couch as if I weighed nothing. Blake headed toward the bedroom and placed me carefully on the bed before he slid in next to me.

"Wow. Just wow," I whispered in awe.

"I know. It makes me wonder what fucking you would be like," he wondered out loud as he kissed my earlobe and tugged me closer to him. "One day, you will be mine. All those sweet juices will be for my mouth and my cock. You won't want anyone else."

_Hmm, smug, aren't we?_ "Arrogant man," I mumbled softly.

"No, just being truthful. You gave me something tonight. The memory of you almost naked, stroking and sucking me, will forever be ingrained in my memory." _I'm sure it will._ It was what I wanted to do.

I laughed sleepily.

He kissed my shoulder, hugged me tightly and whispered goodnight. His soft breathing hit my neck as we both fell asleep.

# Chapter Sixty-Nine

Monday came with a rush. My classes were a little hectic. From marketing classes to Art History, I was sure I was about to spend a lot of time studying paintings in The National Gallery to catch up.

I returned home the day before after spending three nights with Blake. Luce came back upbeat from her vacation with Toby and things seemed to be going pretty steady between the two. I was keeping my fingers crossed. I never once mentioned to her that I'd slept in Blake's flat or any occurrence I'd had with him. I wanted to keep it to myself for the time being.

Blake had been texting me about how his day was. He mentioned how hectic his schedule was going to be, but asked if I wanted to have dinner with him Friday night. I eagerly replied and said yes, of course. I liked how he was being patient with me. I was even surprised that he was willing. The Blake I knew didn't wait on women; it was the other way around. They waited on him. I hoped, though, that he wasn't risking our friendship because I was simply a novelty. I guess I just had to wait and see how he fared with the situation.

By Thursday, I was tired and weary. I hadn't been sleeping properly. My thoughts lingered at night and it had been driving me insane. I hadn't heard from Kyle, either. I was relieved and saddened at the same time. _Will there ever come a time that I won't feel this deep anguish every single time I think of him?_ I was haunted by that last phone call; his voice desperate and pained. I truly hoped that he was doing well and not indulging himself with alcohol until he was numb from the pain. I'd never known him to be so irresponsible. That's why it was a surprise that he'd gotten a DUI.

I was sure his parents were overjoyed with that news. I could seriously see their shocked faces and the disappointment. They were a lovely couple. They loved Kyle very much. Chris Matthews and I were friendly, but we'd never been close. Kyle's mom, Marie, on the other hand, was a dear and had made me feel right at home ever since I was a little girl. When I pictured what my mom would've been like, I always imagined my mom's face with Marie's gentle personality. Marie treated me like I was her own. I would always be grateful for her.

Sitting in my marketing class, my mind drifted in and out of the lecture. I really needed to focus or else I would certainly fail.

My phone beeped silently. I took it out of my purse and saw that Chad had sent me a message.

Chad: _Baby love!!!! I got your male model!!!! FINALLY! He's über hot!!! It's going to be FABULOUS!!! Just you wait, love! I'll text you the deets for the shoot next week. I think we'll be doing a shoot once a week for six weeks? I'll let you know! Love You! xxxxxx_

_Ha!_ I wondered where he'd found his model. I just hoped his shots wouldn't be raunchy or tasteless. How comfortable would it be to pose almost nude with a stranger? It should be interesting. I might need to take my accomplice, Don Patron, with me to soothe my nerves.

I just might.

By the time the class ended, it was already six p.m., so I rushed home to cook dinner because I was feeling ravenous. Hopefully, Lucy hadn't arrived yet so I could cook before she did. She usually came home around seven from school. She was a sophomore and had a bad schedule.

When I opened the apartment door, I was surprised that there was noise coming from the living room. _Luce is home early_ , I thought.

"Luce? I'm home! What do you feel like for dinner? I'm cooking!" I called out to her as I placed my purse on the floor and checked the mail that was stacked on the rustic-looking table where we placed our keys and other knick-knacks.

I barely glanced up as Lucy came to greet me. She looked a little frazzled which was unusual coming from her.

"Luce?" I gave her a questioning look, but instead of responding, she dragged me to her bedroom and gently closed the door behind me. _Okay..._

"Mrs. Matthews is here!" Lucy exclaimed.

I gasped. _What! Kyle's mother? Here? What in the world is she doing here? Shit! Did something happen to Kyle?_

"Is Kyle okay? Did she mention what she wanted?" I asked dramatically. All these weird scenarios popped and flashed about in my head; none of them any good.

"I don't know. She never said. She's been waiting for twenty minutes. You should go and ask her yourself. Whatever it is she came here for, be strong." Luce gave me a hug and squeezed me tightly.

"Right. Thanks for the warning." My hand sought out hers, gently squeezing it before I left and strolled toward the living room to find Marie.

My hands were clammy and I rubbed them on my jeans as I entered the living room.

I found Marie gracefully sitting on the couch, drinking tea as she watched the news on the television. I was relieved that Luce had taken care of her and had made her feel comfortable.

"Marie?"

"Sienna, dear, how are you? It's so good to see you again. I was a little miffed that you didn't come to see me when you went back home. I've missed you."

_Oh, my_. That made me teary and wobbly. I wanted to see her, but the thought of Kyle had stopped me. I didn't know how he would feel about me going behind his back and visiting his mother.

"I'm sorry. I meant to see you, but circumstances made it difficult for me. I've missed you, too."

She stood in front of me and gave me a loving hug. "I hope you're doing okay, Sienna?" She eyed me with concern.

"I'm fine. Is everything okay? You're visiting London?" I cautiously asked her. I needed to know the purpose of her visit.

Marie started to sit down and I sat across from her on the other couch. I needed as much distance between us as possible because it just had to be that way from then on. As much as I liked Marie, she was still Kyle's mother and she would look out for her son first and foremost.

"Sienna, let me explain my visit and I hope that you will let me finish before you voice your thoughts. Is that okay with you, dear?" I nodded and said yes, eager for her to get on. "I know it's been extremely tough for you and Kyle both since you moved here. I saw his despair when you left. It tore my heart to pieces to see him go through something like that, but he somewhat survived that hurdle and started to live life again. Since the moment he saw you back home, he's been spiraling out of control and I need to intervene before things really get out of hand and he ends up dead somewhere."

I gasped. _Kyle? Why do you do this to yourself?_

"A few days ago, I caught him passed out in the bathroom with lines of cocaine next to him. I was hysterical with worry and so I called Chris, panicking. We discussed what we needed to do to help our child cope with his problems. We sat Kyle down the next day, after he recovered from his binging." She gently wiped a tear that had escaped her teary eyes. "We asked him what was going through his head and told him how negligent he had been with his actions. He didn't talk much—as expected—however he laid out essential facts of how he felt like 'he's dying inside.' I just wish he would've spoken to me about it sooner. He chose to bottle it all in.

"Instead of putting him in rehab like most people do, Chris and I agreed that it would be best to send him here, to be around you again. You give him perspective, dear, but most of all, my son listens to you. He'll be assigned to scout as well as supervise the UK branch, and at the same time, he can try to see you to make amends. Even if you two don't get back together, you kids should remain friends. You darlings were inseparable and it's painful to see a long standing friendship fall apart.

"Sienna, I know this is asking a lot of you, but I'm asking you a favor—for the first time—to please help my son get better. I'm not sure if this will help, yet I feel that this all started with you. I have no doubt in my heart that you can help him get better if he saw you again. He always listens to you. He loves you."

I was speechless. Kyle coming and living here? Me helping him get better? That's a big responsibility! _How the heck will I handle that? I'm freaked out! So much for cleaning out my closet of emotional baggage!_ It was going to drive me mental.

"Marie, how do I even begin? That was a lot to take in. Has Kyle agreed to this? Does he know? When is he coming anyway?"

"He does and he's arriving tomorrow afternoon," she said calmly.

I stared at her in shock, her statement sinking in. _Holy fuck! Kyle will be here tomorrow? What the hell am I going to do? What about Blake?_ He'd either go ballistic or understand. Who knew which one, though?

It was all so frustrating. Marie was precious, and she'd only ever been kind to me since I moved in with the Browns. I couldn't let her down without putting up an effort.

"Alright, I can try. I'm not making promises, but I'll try."

"Oh, Sienna, thank you! This means so much to Chris and me. Thank you! Kyle will be so happy!"

I don't know about making Kyle happy, but I'll be a friend. He certainly needed to redirect his goals. Deep down, I knew I couldn't see someone so dear to me spiral out of control, either. It was Kyle and he needed me—his best friend, not the lover—and I would be there for him.

Marie stood up and took something out of her purse. She sat next to me and handed me a key. "Here is the apartment key. He'll be staying in the company house in Hampstead. Here's the address and my phone number, just in case you need to call me. Never hesitate to call me, dear _._ I'm here for _you,_ too. I'm simply helping Kyle settle in the apartment and I will be leaving Sunday morning. I was hoping we could all grab lunch or dinner Saturday? Would that be okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine, Marie." _Maybe?_

"Thank you again, Sienna. I'll see you in a couple of days. Have a good night, dear." I nodded as she stood up to leave and then I guided her to the door in a daze.

After she left, I scurried to my room. My palm was holding Kyle's apartment key, a business card with Marie's information and the address of the apartment. I looked down and stared at it blankly until someone knocked. I looked up as the door slightly opened.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh, Luce! Kyle is going to live in London for a while. They sent him here. They think I can help him get better." My voice was small, but obviously freaked out.

"Are you okay with that? Will you be able to help him without getting too attached?" Her blue eyes studied me as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess."

She nodded and sat next to me on the bed. "I sort of heard the conversation. I was in the kitchen. I didn't mean to pry, but, love, Kyle needs your help. You just have to be the bigger person and set aside any ill feelings for him. This could be tough; although, you're the bravest woman I know and whatever happens, never think that you don't have anyone to speak to. I'm here for you, _always_." I gave her a hug and thanked her for all her support. She then got up to leave me with my daunting thoughts.

_It'll be fine_ , I tried convincing myself.

I was beyond exhausted as I made my way to the kitchen to make a sandwich for dinner.

I didn't want to think anymore. I'd think about my problems later.

When I went to bed, I slept like a log. I had no dreams, no interference.

# Chapter Seventy

I was contemplating what to wear for my date with Blake when I received a text message.

Kyle Matthews: _I'm here. I'll see you tomorrow._

I sighed. _Way to dampen my mood for my date tonight, Kyle!_

My heart was beating erratically against my chest. I had never been in that position—where I had to deal with an ex while starting to see someone new. It was all so new to me and it was driving me insane. _Should I tell Blake? I really should._ Sooner or later Lucy might mention it to both of the guys and I'd be grilled for information. I knew back in the day they were all curious about him and knowing how Lucy was, she'd probably invite him over for dinner to bond with the guys. I cringed at the thought. _God, please, no_. That would be an epic disaster. Blake and Kyle in the same room would be chaos.

Browsing through my closet, I chose an embroidered, black lace, short cocktail dress and paired that with my classic red Prada, gladiator platform heels. I artfully pinned my hair up and minimized my eye shadow. I was heavy on mascara and my engine-red lipstick. Spritzing my favorite perfume, my phone buzzed as if on cue. It was Blake letting me know that he was downstairs waiting for me. Grabbing my purse, I headed downstairs to meet him.

Coming out of the elevator, I could see Blake leaning lazily against his Aston Martin in a sharp, black suit against a white dress shirt. He looked dashing, sexy and still blindingly sinful. I felt lightheaded all of a sudden. I came out of the building as I heard him whistle loudly, clearly praising my look.

_Boy, how I've missed him_. I had forgotten how he made my heart pitter-patter like crazy. I was breathless. I went over to him as he pulled my hand and twirled me around with full appraisal.

I smiled like an idiot. "Like it?"

"Like it? I love it, poppet! You look ravishing! That dress certainly had you in mind," Blake said against my lips before he kissed me tenderly. I simply melted. A good whiff of his scent had my body into a lustful frenzy. _Relax, stupid body!_

"I've missed you, my sweet."

"Missed you, too, Blake." I gazed back, my emotions all over the place. I felt so much for him. Things I couldn't explain. I swallowed hard.

"Come on, I don't want us to be late for our reservation."

# ~S~

Blake took me to OXO Tower Restaurant and Brasserie on South Bank that overlooked the River Thames. It was al fresco during the summertime and I relished the warm atmosphere around me. I had never been there before and the view was beautiful, even more so since I was sitting directly across from it.

I grinned at him.

He smiled back, eyes glittering in the night. "What do you want to drink? Champagne?"

"I think I'll have a watermelon martini tonight."

"I'll order us a bottle of red as well," Blake concluded as he browsed through the menu. He did love his red wines.

Our waiter came and took our order. I let Blake decide what to order for my entrée and he happily obliged. With our drinks in hand, I sipped an ample amount of my martini, closed my eyes and savored the taste. Hell, it was glorious. The decadent drink had just the right amount of vodka, zest and freshly squashed watermelon juice. Delicious!

"Do you always close your eyes when you revel in something you like—food, alcohol, _sex perhaps?_ " Blake murmured in a low, husky voice. It was his 'fuck me' voice. _Gah! Why are my nipples hardening?_

My eyes quickly snapped open. Blake was relaxed against his chair with his hand on the stem of his wine glass, his dynamic eyes burning into me. _Damn it, those eyes will be the death of me. I swear it!_

_Does he know how fascinating he looks? How every single thing he does makes him even more desirable? Does he notice the other women staring at him longingly? Because I fucking do and I don't like it one bit; especially when we're out on a date. Will I ever manage to get used to his dark beauty? I wish._

Clearing my throat, I murmured, "Yes, savoring them makes you appreciate all the good things in life." The coy smile I gave him made him smolder.

"Yes, I definitely agree. How was your week? How was school? Any news?" _Tricky, those questions_ , I thought as I weighed my options.

I swallowed slowly. _Any news?_ That seemed a little loaded. "School's good. I like my classes this semester. News? Let see—I'll be modeling for Chad. He's going to have a show in a couple of months."

"Model? _How?_ " He looked perplexed.

_Okay... I know I'm not model material like the ones he's used to, but at least have the decency to look pleased._

"His theme is Sensual Grunge. He's hell-bent on having me be his model. Go ask him." My voice small and a little hurt because his reaction had definitely wounded my pride.

" _Sensual Grunge?_ " the blasted man reiterated.

"Yeah, whatever," I said, shrugging off his annoying attitude.

Blake became quiet, and after a few minutes, his mouth was still shut. _Damn him!_ He always did that and it was incredibly uncomfortable. So, instead of glaring at his form, I opted to look about, glancing around at the people milling around with friends, laughing and drinking. Some chatted happily whilst eating their dinner. Everyone seemed to be having a great time except for our table. Biting my lip, I contemplated my news about Kyle. Since he was already in a gloomy state, I thought I might as well drop the bomb.

"Since we're on the subject of news, I just learned yesterday that Kyle's temporarily moving here for work." I took a long sip of my martini.

"Kyle? Matthews? He's here?" His reaction was disbelieving. _Yep, my ex is definitely here in London town._

"Yes, Kyle is here. He just flew in today."

"Bollocks! I can't believe this! This night keeps getting better and better!" Blake said as he raked his hand through his hair. I didn't get the chance to respond, though, because the waiter laid our food out on the table.

Blake seemed eager to ignore me after that and so I let him. His brows furrowed as he worked on his meal. _What was he thinking?_ He looked like he was working something out, but wouldn't voice anything to me. It was so frustrating!

I had a hard time not choking on my meal. His forbidding attitude didn't put me at ease and when the waiter came to clear our dishes and offer dessert, he immediately declined, stating clearly that we were in a hurry.

My stomach dropped.

He hurriedly paid the bill and led us both to the elevator, barely touching my back as he ushered me in. When we got out of the building, instead of walking toward the car, he surprised me and suggested that we walk for a while. He seemed so distant and I couldn't seem to reach him while we walked.

When we stumbled upon a garden, I sat on the concrete bench, waiting for him to say something, anything. The silent treatment was killing me.

"Blake?"

His faced away from me, looking over the clearing that led to the river. The garden was dimly lit; however, it wasn't dark enough to hide Blake's stony face. When he finally turned around and faced me, hands in his pockets, his face was completely passive.

What was going on with him?

"Are you going back to him?" he asked, but it sounded like an accusation.

"What? No! I never said I was! I mentioned it because you had to know, even though I'm not going back to him. I can't freely date you at the moment. He'll go ballistic if he finds out. I guess all I'm asking is if you could understand where I'm coming from? Kyle's been through a lot lately and he needs my help. His parents seem to think I'm the only one that can pull him out of this rut. They think I can help him somehow... heal, I mean."

" _Heal him_ , Sienna? That's a load of rubbish!" He cursed loudly as he kicked a stone next to his foot. Blake turned his back on me again and sat on his heels, both hands gripping his hair.

I pressed my lips together, knowing I was asking a lot of him, but I had to help Kyle. He didn't have anyone else. I owed Kyle that at least; no matter what he had done to me, we were friends for much too long to turn my back on him.

I stared at the man before me who looked conflicted and I honestly didn't blame him. I would have been, too, if our situations were reversed.

I picked at my nails, antsy and nervous when he got up and turned around to face me again. "Sienna, as I badly want you, I can't fall back and watch on the sidelines as you spend time with him. I can't fathom the fact that you'll be spending time with him, especially after what he put you through! However, it's your decision and I fully accept that. He's obviously still significant to you and I understand that, as well. You still love him and that's something I can't compete with. I have to give you up, make things easier for us both.

"We'll still be friends, never doubt that. I'll always be here for you, but what transpired between us this past week is something we should bury and move past." _No! How can he say such things?_ I wanted to argue, but his eyes were grim and his lips pressed into a thin line, showing me how serious he was.

My eyes were brimming with tears as I watched him speak. He looked fine, although his voice was something else entirely. He sounded hollow and empty. I knew, deep down, even if I begged him to change his mind, he wouldn't. He had already made up his mind about Kyle and me.

_The big question is, how am I going to move on with life after Blake? Yes, he's still planning to be my friend and we could mend things, bring them back to as they were before, yet how will I forget how Blake's kisses make me feel? How will I bury these memories I have of him?_ I felt tormented with emotions and I had a hard time speaking.

"Are you sure you want to give up whatever it is between us, Blake?" I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper.

"It's not easy for me to say this, Sienna. You know that. " _Do I really know it? I'm not so sure I do._

I nodded, not wanting to argue his moot point. I unceremoniously got up and walked toward his parked car. There was no point in staying longer in the park, pondering ways to convince Blake to change his mind. It was a done deal in his head. He'd probably concocted it while he had sipped wine and concentrated on his dinner.

The ride back home was silent. He didn't even bother to turn on any music. _What a great night this turned out to be_ , I thought bleakly. How I wished things were different, but Blake was obviously willing to just walk away—without much ado—so I would do the same and not dwell on it. Apparently, it didn't mean that much to him, so I guess it was time to let bygones be bygones.

He parked outside my building without even bothering to look at me. I stared at him for a bit, waiting for him to say goodnight, but he didn't budge. I hesitantly leaned over toward him, gave him a peck on the cheek and hurriedly left the car. The tension was stifling and I needed to get out of there before I broke down.

The apartment was dark and silent. Lucy usually stayed with Toby during weekends and I welcomed the eerie silence. Not bothering to turn on the lights, the moonlight barely slithered through the windows as I made my way to the kitchen and helped myself to a huge glass of wine.

_I'm not going to cry,_ I willed myself. It was stupid and we had barely started anything; it was too new for it to be significant.

I went to my bedroom and slowly took my shoes and dress off. I took the pins out of my hair, letting it cascade down my naked back. Wearing only my thong, I went to turn on my music and played "Ain't No Sunshine" by Eva Cassidy. Placing it on repeat, I crawled into bed, curled up, alone with my heavy heart and my disgruntled thoughts.

I never did cry.

That night, I dreamt of silks, candles and a pool full of rose petals.

# Chapter Seventy-One

Morning couldn't come soon enough as I stretched lazily on my bed. I reached for my phone and checked for the time; it was ten in the morning. I sighed. I would be meeting Kyle and Marie later.

_How exhausting is this?_ It drained my soul until I was insipid and lifeless.

I wish I could have danced with Chad that day, but Saturdays were usually busy for him at the studio and I couldn't cut it close to dinnertime. I needed enough time to get ready. So I settled for some stretching and a twenty-minute Pilate's session in my living room.

Blake never texted or called the previous night; it was just as well. He was serious about his decision and I had to let it go. All I had to do was gather up my courage and my armor for when the time came that Blake decided to bring a date when he was hanging out with us. I flinched inwardly at the thought of those strong hands on another woman. It had never bothered me before, yet since things did happen between us, it was going to be difficult to revert to the old ways. I knew how those hands felt, how great they could make me feel. Alas, it was over and I simply had to move past it.

I did some laundry, dusted and cleaned the apartment. Before I knew it, it was five in the afternoon. I had received a text from Kyle earlier stating where and what time we'd meet. I still had an hour and a half to get ready before I needed to meet them.

I decided to run a bath and soak for fifteen minutes or so before I started getting ready. Browsing through my closet, I decided on another black dress, strapless, short and fitted with an A-line skirt paired with black stiletto heels. I kept my long hair down, reaching a few inches above my butt. Pearl studs finished my look perfectly. Aiming for the classy look couldn't be accomplished properly without pearls, or so they said.

Hailing a black cab on a Saturday night could be very difficult; however, I was fortunate enough that I didn't have to wait long on the pavement. The traffic was terrible, but I was lucky to arrive a few minutes past seven at The Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane. Marie loved French cuisine and I was meeting them in one of the five-star restaurants inside.

Entering the hotel's foyer, it was hard not to miss Kyle. He was standing idly in the corner. His face lit up when he saw me as I passed the glass doors. He was wearing black from head to toe; black dress shirt, jeans and dress shoes.

He immediately sauntered toward me. "Sienna."

"Hello, Kyle." I greeted him as he gave me a light hug, pulled back and inspected me quite thoroughly. His eyes even glinted.

He looked like he had lost a lot of weight since I had last seen him. He had dark rings under his eyes and his skin looked paler. He continued to look handsome, but his usual luster was missing. I felt a jab of guilt looking at him. Deep down, I knew it wasn't my fault that he was having such a rough time; he did it to himself and he should have known better. Although, the fact that somehow I was a major factor to his spiraling downfall made it quite difficult for me not to feel some remorse.

"Mom's already seated inside. I just wanted to wait and meet you out here. You know, merely making sure you were coming." _He doubted it?_ I would've thought Kyle would know I could hardly say no to his mother.

"I said I was. I wasn't planning on canceling at the last minute." He nodded and led the way to where his mother was located.

Marie looked beautiful in her usual Oscar de la Renta suit in light pink as she greeted me warmly and sat next to Kyle. I sat across the table and Marie immediately took the uneasiness of the situation away. She never once discussed Kyle's problems; instead, she directed the conversation toward her charity work and other subjects that she deemed safe throughout the entire meal.

Sipping the excellent red wine, I was a little guarded when Marie's questions turned to an inquisition of my time in England; in her gentle manner, of course. "So dear, tell me about your life here? Is it what you dreamed it to be?"

Smiling, I relented, "I really love it here. I've made my own friends and I'm very comfortable now. School's great, actually! I'm loving where my professor is going with our Art History class. So, I guess I'm happy, if that's what you wanted to know." I took another huge sip of my wine and glanced at Kyle. He seemed a little aloof and engrossed in his phone messages.

"Anyone special, dear?" Marie lightly inquired. Even in her gentle voice, I knew she was dying to know. Kyle even managed to pause his tapping on his phone, though he never looked up. I could tell he was waiting for my answer as well.

Mother and son, working together. _Great, this is just what I need. Since I'm not seeing Blake that way anymore, I guess there's nothing to tell them._ Shaking my head, I answered, "No, no one at the moment."

"That's excellent!" Marie exclaimed with a huge smile.

_Excellent?_ Yeah, right.

Marie suddenly stood up and announced that she was off to bed. Her flight was early the next morning and she needed all the rest she could get. She thanked me and kissed me goodnight before doing the same with Kyle.

_Now, it's just us, even better._

I fished for my phone and saw that Luce had texted me.

Luce: _Going out dancing tonight! Want to join us in Mahiki? Toby wants to take his friend from work. Say you'll come!_

Oh, definitely!

Me: _Yep! Meet you there in an hour or so!_

I immediately invited Chad to meet us as well, if he didn't have plans already. However, knowing him, he'd probably drag his date to come party with us.

"What's making you smile like that?" I looked up and clashed with his golden-hazel eyes. I hadn't realized he was done texting his friends and giving me all his attention.

_Brooke perhaps?_

"My flat mate, Luce, just texted me to see if I wanted to go clubbing with them." Putting my phone down next to my glass, I took another copious sip.

"Going to join your friends?" Kyle inquired.

"Quite possibly, yes."

"Can I invite myself as well... If you go?" He picked up my phone and toyed with it. He was acting like the old Kyle I'd known. I was relieved that he was still there, somewhere.

"Shouldn't you be resting? You just barely got here. Besides, after the crap that you pulled with your binge drinking and drugs, going out to party should be the least of your worries, no?" I enlightened him, quirking up a brow with my question. I was furious that he placed himself in harm's way. He could've easily overdosed and died. _What the heck was he thinking?_

"I'm off that, Sienna. It was a deal I had with my parents. I know it's stupid, but I needed to numb the pain I was feeling. I didn't want to deal with it. I took the coward's way out, but now I'm here and I can see you again; not somewhere far away from you. I'm not going to rebel and act out." Handing my phone back to me, he informed me, "You have a message."

It was from Chad saying he'd be on his way soon and he couldn't wait to see the gang.

Chad started hanging out with us the moment Luce and I became friends as well. I was glad that everybody got on, even Toby and Blake liked him. The guys didn't seem to mind that Chad was gay and I adored them for it.

"You're not really seeing anyone, baby?" Kyle finally managed to ask the stupid question I knew he was dying to ask. _Why does he keep studying me? Can't he look away, just for a second? It's making me nervous._

"I'm not yours to call baby, not anymore." I shot him a hateful glare.

"We'll see, baby."

Huh! _Confident, aren't we?_ If he thought I was just going to fall back and be with him again after he cheated, because he was here in London, he could think again!

_The big question is, should I invite him to go to Mahiki and meet my friends? He's eager to go, but what if Blake's there? Nah, he's busy with that Marbella project, remember? Hopefully, Lucy and Chad won't be bothered by Kyle? They might not like him; however, I know they won't be hostile, either._

Draining the rest of my wine, I glanced at Kyle. His eyes were staring at my boobs. I rolled my eyes. I knew the tight dress emphasized my small waist, but it pushed my breasts up—and they looked insanely good. I suppose that's why I'd chosen it. I'd wanted to rub what he'd thrown away in his face. Kyle was a boob man and he loved those suckers. Too bad he wouldn't be doing much with them other than staring at them longingly. I ignored his blatant mishap of calling me 'baby' after I'd rebuked him about it.

"Still want to come and meet my friends?" I double-checked. That was a big deal for me, although I didn't show it. It was going to be the first time my London friends would meet him. It was a major deal.

"I definitely do." Kyle nodded, responding with certainty.

"'Kay, I'm going to refresh my make-up. Lobby in five minutes?" He nodded as I walked away from our table.

# Chapter Seventy-Two

I was thankful when the cab finally stopped outside the club. The silence in the cab had been deafening. _Awkward much? Why is he acting so weird, anyhow?_

As instructed by Luce, all I had to do was mention Toby Watson to get in right away. I was sure Toby had made reservations before going. Count on him to always be prepared. When it came to his ladylove, he didn't think twice about giving her anything.

Have you seen those couples that were toothache-inducing, sickly sweet to each other? _Yep, that was them._ They look like they're made for each other; therefore people tend to forgive them for that.

Brushing past the bouncers, I scoured the booths to look for my friends. I was quite nervous because I hadn't mentioned bringing Kyle. I merely hoped that they would all get along so it wouldn't be completely difficult. Kyle didn't have many friends there, so he was most likely going to follow me about. _God, I hope not_. _He'll find friends soon enough,_ I convinced myself.

The music was thumping and blaring loudly. The place was starting to get packed as more alcohol-induced bodies swayed to the beat on the dance floor. A Polynesian theme was throughout the entire club. It was done tastefully with a touch of contemporary design. This place was known for their exotic cocktails and mixers that came with a fire exhibition. It was quite riveting and the crowd went rampant with awed fascination.

Kyle's hand found my waist as he pulled me in and whispered into my ear, "I think I found your friends. They're all staring, just to give you a heads up."

I quickly turned to my right, away from the fire exhibition, and found their table was actually on the far right, away from the commotion. Kyle was right; they were all staring. I didn't get to check out everyone at the table because I looked down, a little embarrassed as I made my way toward them.

"Sienna Richards, glad of you to grace us with your sexy self," Chad drawled in his flamboyant New York accent. "And you must be?" The question was aimed to Kyle. I totally forgot to mention his move here to Chad. He was going to devour the drama. He lived for those things.

"I'm Kyle, Sienna's friend from LA," Kyle introduced himself to both Chad and Luce then flashed them both his seductive smile. Even tired, he could still manage to look handsome. Kyle had always been handsome in a lean, muscled, surfer, rugged kind of way. His dark hair and his hazel-golden eyes amplified his good looks.

" _The_ Kyle?"

"Yes, Chad! Now drop it, please." My eyes glared at him full-on, begging him to stop, but it seemed he didn't get the damn message. Was he drunk already?

"My, my! Don't you two look like the perfect couple! Don't you think, Luce? Toby? Sam? _Blake_?" The moment Chad said _Blake_ , my eyes shot behind Chad and looked over the booth. Sure enough, the prince of brooding was sitting conveniently behind Chad, blocked from my view earlier.

_Oh, fuck._

Blake looked composed and impassive, as though it didn't bother him. When our eyes met, he simply nodded to acknowledge me and returned to chat with another man I had never met before. _Ouch_. I hadn't seen it coming. He had moved on. Blake's reaction, or what little of it he'd shown, proved to me how over me he was. The dull ache in my chest wouldn't subside, so I ignored it and pretended I was perfectly happy.

Luce introduced Kyle to the rest of the guys and the stranger named Sam. They all seemed nonchalant. Toby and Blake, even less thrilled. I understood the reaction from Blake, _but Toby?_

Kyle's phone flashed and he texted quickly as he pulled on my waist a little too possessively— _directly in Blake's line of sight_ —and told me that he needed to make a phone call outside. He quickly kissed my cheek before retreating into the crowd and out the exit door.

My eyes landed on Blake's. From the murderous look he gave me, I didn't have to guess if he'd seen the exchange. His nostrils flared, his jaw muscles tightened and his beautiful eyes screamed bloody murder. Unable to stand the burning heat of his stare, I turned around quickly.

Luce handed me a blue colored drink and Chad pulled my hand, cornering me on the mirrored wall. "You better start explaining yourself, baby love, before I start hyperventilating. Aren't you dating sexy Blake?" Chad rattled on, his ebony eyes curious.

"Blake decided it was best to end it last night when he found out that Kyle's parents had agreed that I'm the medicine for his sobriety—hence the attendance of the one and only—I wasn't expecting Blake here. He's supposed to be busy with a project."

"Goodness! This is awesome drama! I _love_ it! It must be wretched to be you right now, huh? How are you holding up?" As quickly as his eyes lit up to the prospect of fireworks, it immediately vanished when he realized how rotten it was for me.

"Yeah, it's fucking dreadful! But, please, let's not talk about it; not tonight. I want to have fun! Is that okay with you, mister?" I gave him a quick hug and kiss on his glossed puckers.

I sat next to Toby and he immediately gave me a tight hug. "Ex-boyfriend coming after you it seems?" I shrugged, not wanting to reply. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. It's not that I don't trust him, but I want you safe is all." He kissed my forehead and got up to join Lucy on the dance floor. They looked so happy together that it made me feel worse.

Taking a sip from my blue sweetened vodka concoction, I noticed Blake toying with his glass of whiskey; possibly contemplating if he should talk to me or not.

"Not busy with the Marbella project tonight?" I asked, leaning a little closer to him.

"Back with him _that_ quickly?" Blake's sarcasm was palpable. Didn't I explain the situation last night?

"No, I am not."

I looked around and scouted for someone to rescue me, however it seemed everyone had dispersed to the dance floor. Picking up on my nervous state, Blake leaned close, _so close_ that I could smell him. My stomach nose-dived as I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

_Damn you_ , I silently cursed.

"You look bewitching, my Sienna. I seem to recall how well your body responded to me and I'm getting hard thinking about those lips of yours." His gaze went south, gritting his teeth. "Your boobs are indecent. Did you do that purposely to torment and torture me?" _My, God! I love it when he talks dirty_. His cool and composed façade slipped off and another man surfaced.

"If you are tortured and tormented, you have yourself to thank," I managed to whisper as I looked him straight in the eye.

"Seeing how cozy you two are made me think twice about my decision. Do you know how it makes me feel seeing you together?" Even with the loud thump of music his voice was clear and grating on my delicate ear.

"I didn't know you'd be here. If I had known, I wouldn't have come."

Blake abruptly pulled away from my ear and looked over to my side as Kyle came into view. He didn't seem to notice the tension between us or he was doing a good job at pretending not to see it.

Releasing a sigh, I turned to Kyle. "How did your call go?"

"It's good." He gave me a sideways glance and his usual flirty smile. When I stood up, he held out his hand. "Dance with me, baby."

"I don't think that's a good idea. How about we just stay here, hmmm?"

"Come on, baby! We used to have fun dancing! Please? Just this once?" He was still holding out his hand and smiled like an idiot as I took it.

"Fine."

"I'll be right back," I addressed Blake, but he just stared at me, infuriated.

"By all means, dance your socks off," he bitingly responded.

_That I will, just you wait._

Joining the crowded floor with people bumping and grinding, Kyle took the opportunity to pull me close to his chest. Our eyes immediately locked and out of the blue he yelled, "I love you."

My mouth opened and closed again. I rotated myself and placed his hands on my waist while we continued to dance, which relieved me from having to talk to him. He seemed to love having his hands on me. His grip was getting tighter as he ground himself a little too close for comfort on my ass.

How did one balance an ex and a "possible" new man in her life? It was Kyle's first day there and I was having a hard time already. I hated what he'd done, and at the same time, I wanted to help him; however, it was evident that he wanted more than that. With Blake, though, where did I even begin? He was incredibly baffling. Holding our rhythm, I was starting to have fun dancing with Kyle. We both relaxed and started to enjoy each other. When the music ended, I expected us to dance more, but Kyle led me to the entrance door.

Outside on the pavement, he asked me to take a short walk and I obliged.

# Chapter Seventy-Three

"I'll give you a few minutes and then I'll go back inside. I don't want my friends to worry," I said to Kyle and he simply nodded in agreement.

When he stopped walking, he leaned on a building, closed his eyes and then spoke softly, "When my parents pitched the idea of me coming here, I was happy and scared. I was scared because you might not love me the way I love you; well, not anymore. I was cruel and I can't forgive myself for what I've done to you. If we turn out to be friends like how it was before we started dating, I'll take that in a heartbeat. I'm really thankful that you're even giving me time, but it was hardly a surprise."

Opening his hazel eyes, they were miserable and anguished. "You have such a good heart, Sienna. You're smart, beautiful and brave. When Christy started beating you, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't dare hurt you, but I did. I broke that promise. You trusted me. You loved me. How could I betray someone I love so much? I was so consumed with anger and hurt that I forgot to think about how I was hurting you. I'm sorry." Kyle started to massage his temples while sadness racked my body.

I walked over and hugged him tight. The mention of Christy Brown's name sent shivers all over my body; that woman was horrid. "I know you are. That's why I can't stay mad at you for long. What you did was painful and I'm hurt. I just wish that you could've told me about what you were going through. Instead, you looked for a replacement to forget about me. That hurt."

"And look how successful that turned out, Sienna. The moment I saw you again, I was a goner. I was invaded by the thought of you. It's always been you, Sienna; no matter how much I try. My heart belonged and will always belong to you," he professed a little breathlessly.

I looked down and studied my toes. _Why is it painful when he tells me he loves me?_ I love Kyle, I do, and I guess I'll always love him, but a big part of me wanted Blake. No point in denying myself anymore. I had always been attracted to him and I couldn't pass this chance up or I might regret it for the rest of my life. _Fuck, baby steps._ I wanted him and that's that.

What I felt for him was complex, but as fascinating as he was, I was not going to let anyone trample on my heart. That's one thing I wouldn't compromise. Once was humiliating enough.

"Kyle, I'm sorry. _I really am_ , but right now, I'm not in a place where I would want to be in a relationship. There is too much between you and me. I need to step back and think about what _I_ want. All my life, I was attached to your hip. I lived and breathed you. I loved you with all of my heart; however, you must understand that things changed. It's different now." I looked at the man I used to love with unshed tears.

His thumbs started to wipe the sides of my eyes. "Don't cry, baby. I feel like a total bastard right now. _Please_ , don't cry." Kyle hugged me tightly. My head was on his torso as he tried to calm me down. He gently stroked my hair and kissed my cheek.

Pushing myself off his body, I folded my arms as I waited for him. "Let's go inside. We've been out for a while now."

He pulled me close to him and draped his arm around me as we headed to the club's entrance where he immediately stopped. "Go be with your friends, I'm going back to the apartment. I was pooped before we came here, but I wanted to spend more time with you. Now I'm ready to crash."

"All right, it was good to see you again. Be safe."

Kissing my lips gently, much to my surprise, he bade goodnight. "I'll be in touch, baby. I love you." With that, he headed to where several cabs were waiting on the curb.

I waited until he got in a cab before I let myself past the bouncers who were listening intently to our exchange. I smiled, understanding how boring it must be to stand there all night. "Can't say I blame him, love. I would want to spend all of my time with you," one of the tall, bulky men said as I walked past.

_Men_ , I thought amusingly.

My mood took a sour turn when I saw a tall blonde sitting on Blake's lap. _Here's a reality check._ Moments ago, I had been thinking of being with him and now his hands were on that woman's waist as he fed her olives. Barf.

My blood was boiling and I wanted to throw something at them.

"Turn around," Chad whispered behind my back.

"The old Blake lashed out when he saw how you danced with your old lover. She's an old friend of his who just happened to be here with her own party, but as you can see, they're quite engrossed with each other. Don't mind him; I'm sure he's gutted inside. This is his way of coping." Chad looked sorry as he squeezed my shoulder. I didn't even respond to that because I didn't expect it, but why shouldn't I have? _It's fucking Blake we're talking about!_ That was a side of him that I had never gotten to see before.

I was beyond angry; however, Hell would freeze over before I let him see how hurt I was. "He just glanced here—don't look back!"

_Ugh. I can't do this. This is beyond pathetic. I am beyond pathetic!_

"Take me to the dance floor, lover." I nervously smiled at my friend, offering my hand to him.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Chad's a blast on the floor and, before I knew it, Luce, Toby and Sam had joined the commotion. Chad grabbed another man's attention, so he was dancing somewhere amidst the throng of people. Luce and Toby were dancing and laughing with each other. So, that left me with Sam who was giving me a kind smile. As we danced next to each other, he leaned in and asked, "Where's the boyfriend?"

I laughed. "No, no, he wasn't my boyfriend; an ex is more like it."

Smiling, he leaned in a bit more. "So, what do you do, Sienna? Apart from breaking hearts, that is?"

Ha! If he only knew!

"Well, I'm still in uni, but for the most part, my time is dedicated to breaking hearts here and there, lighting up drama whenever I can." I was laughing and fluffing him up with his own joke. He was certainly easy to converse with. He wasn't handsome, but his kind eyes and demeanor made him likable.

"Come on, love, let's get something to drink! I'm parched!" It was announced by the thirsty Lucy as she tried to catch her breath while she actively fanned herself with her hand.

"Let's!"

The scene at the booth hadn't changed much. The fucking woman was still on his lap, but she was now openly caressing his neck and chest from the unbuttoned, midnight blue dress shirt that matched his eyes.

_They can go fuck themselves. I couldn't care less._

Ignoring them, Sam poured us both champagne and I gladly took a huge gulp.

Arching her brow with curiosity, Lucy asked Sam and I, "What were you two discussing earlier? I've never heard Sienna laugh like that." Lucy leaned on the table as she eyed us with amusement.

"We were discussing her full-time job as a heartbreaker!"

"Yup! He was telling me how his heart was broken when I turned him down. He wanted a quick shagging in the bathroom, apparently." I even _tsk-tsked,_ loving the whole light-hearted banter. "Such a naughty boy you are, Sam!" I added to boot.

Everyone laughed and Luce almost choked on her champagne. Chad appeared out of nowhere, dripping with sweat and a huge smile like he had just won the lottery. "OMG! Did you see how hot that guy was? I must have died and gone to Heaven." He sat next to me and grabbed my champagne glass, emptying the contents.

"Excited much?" I studied my friend who had a sheen of perspiration glazed on his forehead and his face lit up like Christmas.

"I am. Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you, we're shooting on Thursday. So you better make sure you bring your sexy-fucking-kitten look. You and Troy are going to be Hot! Hot! Hot!" Chad's excitement was bouncing off him.

"Wait, what? You model for him?" Sam looked interested and intrigued.

"Yeah, he's a photographer and he's awesome! He also sort of needs me to do a few stills for his upcoming show which is in—what? Seven weeks?" I squeaked, glancing back at Chad who was busying himself with another glass of champagne.

"Definitely, and Sam, you're invited," he finally managed to reply to Sam, winking at him. _Such a flirt, this Chad!_

"Wouldn't miss it. I want to see the 'sexy-fucking-kitten' look out of curiosity," Sam responded with ease.

I'm sure he did. What the hell did 'sexy-fucking-kitten' look like anyway? I cringed. I've never modeled before. Let alone have it shown in front of everyone and have it dissected for everyone's pleasure. It was mystifying, but I already promised Chad. I couldn't let him down.

"Oh! Don't mind him. I'm sure it's going to be nice and appropriate!"

"Honey, it's going to be far from nice and appropriate! I can see it now!" Chad closed his eyes as he pictured it in his mind. "You're going to be sexual and you'll have that 'fuck me' look. Troy will be doing the same, touching you sensually. It's going to be a feast for the eyes. Carnal and raw."

_Christ._ I needed a drink. "That Troy better bring it or I'm packing my bags."

"Trust me; he's hot! Though not as hot as you are, Blake!" Why did Chad like to bring Blake into our conversations randomly? Just because the freaking man was almost perfect, didn't mean he wasn't capable of being an insensitive prick! _Stupid playboy jerk_ , I thought haughtily.

Blake smiled at Chad's comment before he averted his gaze back to me. He studied me while the woman caressed him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

My eyes flickered to the girl. That stupid woman was seriously lapping it up. She was kissing his neck and toying with his hair. I smirked. _Yeah, keep massaging his ego you stupid flirt; it's already massive and unmanageable._

I looked away in disgust and anger from their display of foreplay.

Honestly, it was stupid. I didn't have the right to be angry.

I honestly didn't.

# Chapter Seventy-Four

Luce and Toby wanted to go home, so we all decided it was best to leave together. It was two in the morning and I was ready to get some rest anyway.

"Want to split cabs? I'll have you dropped off first?" Chad asked.

"She's coming with me. There's something we have to discuss." I looked at Blake agape. What was he talking about? _No, we don't._

"Oh, boo you!" Chad pouted. "You lovers enjoy the night then." He smiled, showing off his perfect white teeth.

I rolled my eyes. S _eriously, Chad?_

Everyone shuffled to leave, saying quick goodbyes. I looked around expecting to see his "friend;" however, she was nowhere to be found.

"She's not here." _Of course she isn't._ He probably just dropped her like a hot potato the moment he realized we were all leaving.

Typical.

"What do we have to talk about? I thought you were perfectly clear yesterday. There's no need to rehash it," I seethed, angry at his ever-changing attitude. _Is he bipolar? No, he isn't. He just likes brain-fucking. He's a pro at that._

"My flat is only a couple of blocks away. Walking it off would be a good idea, unless you don't agree?" He peered at me, hands in his pockets, his tone more serious.

"Walking is fine. I don't want to be confined next to you in a cab." I didn't mean to be snappy, yet it was irritating that he thought he could just bulldoze his way around. He hadn't even had the decency to ask if I wanted to go with him, he'd simply assumed that I would. _Well, I was curious and I would've gone anyway, but all he had to do was ask._

We didn't speak to each other. I would've bitten his head off with more snarky comments if he'd tried. He stopped outside his building and held the door for me. The man behind the desk looked up. "How do you do, Mr. Knightly?"

"Hello, Scott. This is Ms. Sienna Richards, one of my best friends."

I greeted Scott as we headed for the elevator. He still wasn't really my favorite person, even with the silence from us both the entire walk home. I was still angry and a little disconcerted by his coveting display with the biotch earlier.

_Are you sure you aren't just jealous? What if I am, so what? It doesn't change anything._

I was a bit miffed that he'd started the whole thing between us then immediately decided not to pursue it any longer. Now our friendship was hanging in the balance. _I can't stop thinking about his kisses, either. He's incorrigible._

Riding the confines of the elevator in utter silence, I couldn't help it when I flinched from the pain in the soles of my feet. Even if it had only been a couple of blocks of walking with three-inch heels, it had been murderous. I would have given anything to soak in a hot bath. I sighed loudly and he didn't even bother to turn around to ask if I was okay. _Douche._

Entering his apartment, Blake flipped a switch and the lights flickered, surrounding the place with a soft glow. It looked too intimate for my liking. _Maybe I should bail and just go home?_ My hands were fidgety. My palms were sweaty. _He better start talking before I collapse from a nervous breakdown._

I stood in the middle of the living room. Memories of the weekend that I'd spent there with him flashed through my mind. _Nostalgia can really dampen one's emotions_ , I thought with wry amusement.

Blake went straight to the bar, poured a glass of brandy and gulped the entire contents in one go. Why was he stalling?

I stared at him, hands on my hips, glaring. "Talk."

"Why are you acting this way, Sienna?" His passive tone rubbed me irritatingly. _The nerve! He's acting like a royal, stupid jerk!_

"How should I be acting Blake? With your little display of shenanigans tonight, why are you even _surprised?_ You're such an insensitive prick!"

He moved toward me and his scowl deepened. "Are you fucking serious? _I'm_ the insensitive one? Were you not the one who brought your ex and danced with him while... while I sat there and watched his hands _all over you_ , groping and fondling your body? Right. In. Front. Of. Me." I felt hot all over. His close proximity bothered me and I was having trouble being coherent. "It took every ounce of my power not to smash his face in. I did that. For you!" Blake's beautiful face contorted with fury. _He_ _even looks hot and sexy when he's angry._

_Damn it, Sienna. Get your head out of the gutter!_

"I didn't realize you were watching the whole time," I whispered slowly.

"Well, that's where you're wrong. I watched you like a hawk all night." His face was mere inches away.

_My heart's about to jump out of my body, I swear._

Snaking my tongue to wet my lips, I gazed up with a questioning look. "Why? You ended things—"

Raking his hand through his hair, he spoke, "I did and I meant it last night. That's why tonight was difficult. I was jealous and it obliterated me. Seeing you with him, it seriously caught me off guard. I was raving mad, gutted, and I wanted to return the favor by making you jealous." Cupping my cheek with his thumb, he went on, "I'm sorry for being such an arse. I want you; God, help me." His voice wavered. "I want you like no other. Give me another chance?" His eyes were sad and full of remorse as they sought my own.

_Damn that cute accent of his. It melts me like a complete moron._

"I'll be busy in Marbella for the next couple of months looking over the project. I'm hoping this will be enough time for you to consider me— _us_ —again?"

I was rendered speechless. _Think. Mind. Think._

Biting my lip, I found my voice. "Blake... yeah, I think that's enough time for us to weigh in on if we really do want this." Blake beamed happily at me.

_I think I've lost all the fight I have in me, all the reasoning my mind can come up with_. I wanted to live and feel alive.

"Thank you. You won't regret this, I promise." Blake kissed my forehead... my cheek...

The moment he kissed me, I was done for. There was no possibility of going back. _He's in my blood and I'm fevered. I want him._ He drove me with this tug of constant need. Everything about him, it pushed me into a frenzied state.

"Blake, just fucking kiss me already—"

The instant our lips touched, I was completely and utterly lost. Deepening the kiss, I let out a loud moan. Blake playfully bit my bottom lip and I nipped him back. He continued devouring my lips while I ran my hand through his luxurious hair and I trailed the other down to squeeze his erection. _I wanted him. All of him._

Blake growled and tore himself off my swollen lips. He swiftly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, caveman style. I screamed and laughed loudly at his dominating display. "Put me down, you brute!"

He threw me roughly onto his bed. My eyes expanded as Blake crawled predatorily toward me. His eyes were absolutely savage. Kissing my legs, my thighs, my heaving chest, my neck and then locking his lips onto mine again. His kiss was punishing and I exalted from it. I wanted him just as much.

The consuming, driving need to simply _be_ with him was distracting.

"You're going to be punished for what you did tonight, my love," Blake harshly bit out. His hoarse tone was loaded with promise, passion. My body reacted wildly to it as I became moist at the juncture of my thighs _._

My body tingled. "I'd love for you to do it rough—" I moaned to him. Blake moaned my name as he bit my neck, _hard_. I gasped from the pain and ecstasy it brought. My insides quivered with anticipation. I panted as his hand trailed smoothly up my leg.

When he teased the inside of my thighs, he promised, "Ask and you shall receive, milady."

Hands on my waist, he swiftly yanked me to the edge of the bed, demanding. "Turn around. Let me take off your dress. Leave your shoes on." He sat on the edge of the bed, scrutinizing my every move.

_Anything, just don't stop._ My mind was fogged, my lecherous body enslaved.

Shrugging off the dress, I let it drop to the floor. Stepping aside, I stood before him with underwear and shoes on. His eyes hooded as they gradually took in my half-naked body, caressing it with those beautiful eyes of his. "Come here." His voice was gruff, fervid.

I sauntered back to the man and halted right in front of him. Blake immediately fixated his attention on my breasts, cupping my heavy tits as he savored them. He bit, squeezed and pinched. My head fell back, moaning as illicit pleasure coursed through my body.

Leaving soft kisses as he trailed toward my navel then further south as I arched my back, I was reveling in the high he was giving me, wanting more. He pulled my flimsy underwear off and instantly cast them aside.

Blake parted my legs and made a rough, throaty groan. "Your cunt is dripping beautifully, my love. _You want me that bad?_ " Licking the moisture off with a swipe of his tongue, my body shook as I held on to his shoulder. "Tell me, how badly do you want it?" Blake's demanding tone made me stare at him, agape. He was looking at me, waiting.

I groaned with frustration. "I want you. I've always wanted you _._ " My confession was rewarded with his sinful smile. I looked at him through my half-lidded eyes as he nipped on the corner of my inner thigh. _Touch me,_ my mind screamed. "Show me, Blake. Want me, punish me; I don't care. I—"

I stopped begging as he plunged his tongue inside me. Moaning as he flickered on the nub and inserted a finger inside of me. My body was hot and humming beautifully from his ministrations. My eyes rolled to the back of my head when he inserted another finger. Pulling in and out of me, circling and hooking toward the spot that was critical for my orgasm. _Fuck. Me._ My body quaked and I panted his name loudly.

"Not yet," Blake muttered as he pulled his fingers out. Then he traced his wet digits on my lips and stuck them in my mouth. I sucked them, hard, stroking them with my tongue as if they were his cock. He moaned, loving how wanton I looked before him. "How you drive me crazy, woman."

I pulled his belt and pants down followed by his boxers. I hungered for him, to taste him. _I want it all_. His swollen, enormous cock sprung free and my hand gripped it boldly, greedily. I stroked him slowly and replaced my hand with my tongue, twirling it up and down, wetting him slowly. I gazed at him as my mouth enveloped his length, gradually and precisely until it hit the back of my throat.

" _Jesus!_ " He rasped through gritted teeth, fascinated.

Still holding eye contact, I used my tongue and lips to stroke him with ardent speed. He grabbed my head, clutching my hair, pushing me down more. I did as he wished, giving him all I had until he couldn't take it anymore.

He pulled me up toward him and laid me gently on the bed. "I want you," Blake declared as I scratched his nipples with my nails. Growling, he went onto his knees as he parted my legs. He expertly massaged the nub of my mound while I grabbed his cock at the same time, stroking it, sliding it back and forth through my slick, wet folds.

_His cock feels fucking glorious!_ I was dying from pleasure, begging him to take me while he massaged my breast and lightly pinched my nipple. The head of his cock was teasing my entrance. I spread my legs wider, silently begging him to end my sweet, tortured misery.

I moaned his name. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret it. I promised to wait. I want you to be sure," he panted while his engorged shaft teased my opening. I groaned; _this man is killing me._

"Blake—I want you—please—" I heaved as he inserted his swollen head gently inside of me. I completely stopped breathing. His head was filling me slowly, but his size was much bigger than what I was used to.

Nervous, I clenched my muscles unintentionally. " _Jesus, baby_ —Fuck! Don't do that—you're impossibly tight. I might just explode—" His neck veins were showing, straining as he closed his eyes like he was restraining himself, savoring his own sweet agony.

" _Bloody fuck_... _you feel... so beautiful_." He inched himself a little bit deeper. He folded my legs and pinned them down with his hands, giving him fuller, deeper access. Thrusting his hips as his cock went deeper inside me. He was enormous and my insides were stretched to their capacity, raw, with no room left. I flinched from the pain. He halted as he sensed my discomfort, cock pulsing thickly inside me. "Are you okay? I can stop if you want." I shook my head, urging him on.

"No, no. Don't you dare stop!"

Blake started to move again. I placed a finger on my clit and massaged it. The gesture made me wetter, making it easier for him to glide his cock freely. I moaned as he picked up his thrusting speed, taking everything he could. His speed changed. Blake pounded and pummeled harder. "You like being fucked by me, Sienna?" he questioned as he placed my legs on his shoulder. The arch of my hips made it easier for him to access me with thrusting speed. I moaned his name, urging him to fuck me harder as my orgasm shattered through my body. It came in waves and my convulsing body quivered as he pounded a few more times. He yelled my name through gritted teeth as his own orgasm rocked him, spilling his cum inside me. I clenched and squeezed my muscles, milking him to the very last drop.

We both continued to pant heavily as he pulled himself up on his elbows and looked at me with a huge grin. "That was out of this world, my Sienna." Blake kissed me softly. "Now that I know what it's like with you, I'm never letting you go, _ever_." He kissed me harder this time, full of promise.

Rolling to our sides, Blake gathered me toward him. "Sorry I came inside you... I couldn't help it. Are you on the pill?"

I nodded and smiled at him. "Why?"

"So I can have you anytime tonight. I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. I wish I could stay here with you all weekend in bed." I nuzzled his neck as he hugged me closer. Skimming my arm gently, he spoke, "What made you change your mind tonight? I thought you wanted to wait on sex?"

I stiffened from his question, but he had the right to know. "I've always wanted you. From the moment I saw you, I knew I was in trouble. I realized what was at stake—when you walked away from me—" I swallowed. "Regrets can be damning to one's soul. The 'what if' scenario would haunt me forever if I didn't give you a chance to see where this is going to lead." Sitting up, fidgeting on the blanket that I held dearly to my chest, I went on, "I have issues, Blake, with trust and being vulnerable. When Dad died, everything I knew and loved was taken away from me. My home was sold, my friends vanished, love and security was gone... my dad's sister took me in. They didn't appreciate my interruption in their lives. Her husband and daughter both resented my presence in their home."

My voice shook, but I had to keep going. "I was taunted, threatened, beaten up and tortured by all of them. If I was late waking up for school, they would douse me with a bucket of water. When I didn't finish my meal, I was beaten with a shotgun cleaner. If I did something that infuriated them, they made me kneel for six to eight hours on a pebbled floor, sometimes more, only in my undergarments. I got my hair pulled. I was dragged and slapped in whatever way you could imagine." I heaved a heavy sigh. "Never once did I fight back. I was helpless and I was at their mercy. I was seven; it was either live with them or go to social services."

"Didn't any of your teachers know about this? Didn't they notice your bruises?" His voice wavered as he spoke.

"Not in the beginning, but after this one incident, I had a lot of cuts on my legs from the metal shotgun cleaner they'd used. I was bruised badly and the cuts were deep, so the blood gushed profusely. I only had band-aids to cover them, but they weren't big enough. The blood oozed off my legs and stained my socks. That's when the teachers noticed. My aunt and uncle were called in to school, but they negotiated with them, I guess. They had power and money after all. None of the teachers or the principal ever bothered to mention it again."

"When did they stop?"

"Two years ago, when I started dating Kyle and he threatened to report them, but I stopped him. It's not that I don't want to see them pay for what they've done to me, but life has a way of catching up to us and I don't want to live with so much hate in me. Hate ruins people and I didn't want to lose perspective of what I want my life to be like.

"I've forgiven them, but forgetting is another matter. I still get nightmares from time to time, but I won't let them win. I just won't. I'm stronger than that."

Blake hugged me from behind as he whispered softly, "I'm so sorry. I knew you were hiding something, but never once did it occur to me that you were an abuse victim. People who do that to helpless children are sick, twisted human beings. I feel wretched. I want to ease your pain, but I don't know how." His heart was beating erratically on my back. I could tell from his breathing that he was angry. It was a ragged sound.

"Just be here. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's in the past; let's leave it there." I twisted my head to study his face. Leaning in, I kissed him with all the emotions that were rolling off me.

There were only a few people who know about my past—Kyle, Chad and Lucy. Sharing that part of me with Blake was huge; however, I needed him to understand when the time came that I may, most likely, fall short of his expectations. Trust was important and I trusted him as my friend, but as boyfriend or lover, we were still working on that. I may not have offered my heart, yet I could offer him everything else.

"Just promise me one thing," I said against his lips.

"I'll give you anything, poppet."

"No matter what happens, be honest. Promise me that, Blake?"

With his thumb on my chin, he lifted it until my eyes met his silver, midnight blue eyes. All sorts of emotions went through those depths and I was left dumbstruck. The gold flecks stood out and the effect was utterly spellbinding. This gorgeous, enigmatic man had irrevocably ensnared me. "I promise that I will always be honest and never lie to you. From now on, I will protect you as my own. You're mine now; no harm will come to you."

My entire body swelled from his protective and possessive nature. He was a Knightly; it came with the territory, I suppose.

Resting my head on the expanse of his chest, I pondered our conversation. "I had a wonderful childhood," he spoke softly. "My parents were so in love with each other and they both never failed to tell me or show me how much I was loved. When I saw how other parents treated their children, I felt blessed that mine were wonderful. When they died, I was angry because they left me, but at the same time, I was grateful that they were taken together. I don't know how one would have survived without the other.

"Grandfather taught me to have a backbone. To be strong and master my emotions. He once said that once your emotions get the best of you, your rational and logical thoughts erode. A man could be easily conquered, easily defeated, and the valuable idea of focus would evaporate.

"He wasn't easy to live with at first and I rebelled. I was angry at everyone, but I hadn't realized that he was hurting as well. He lost his son, and we were both grieving. We reached a compromise and his constant encouragement along with the reminder of my parents held me in check. For that, I am grateful that he never gave up on me. Grandfather's the only one I have left. I swore to myself that I would never disappointment him."

He paused and stroked my hair. "Sienna, I've never done this before."

I looked up. "What? Having someone on your bed?"

He smiled and pinched my cheek. "No, you beautiful wench; a proper relationship. What I had was a mutual agreement between two consenting adults, exclusive sex with no strings attached. But this, this is different. I need you to be patient; this is all new to me. I'll make mistakes, I assure you; don't condemn me without talking to me first. It's all I ask."

"Thank you for telling me, Blake. You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. I promise, I'll be patient with you."

He left loud, smacking kisses all over my face as I giggled like a little girl who got her wish from Santa. "I can die happy now; I've waited so long. Now, here you are—" kissing my neck and my earlobe "—driving me mad with hunger. You're this burning need in my blood, Sienna, and I'm ravenous." Rolling me on my back, he quickly demolished my lips.

The only thing that was running through my mind was, _mine, he's mine,_ as he annihilated my body with voracious greed, quenching his thirst.

His touch was rough and raw, yet the thrill of having him again consumed my very being. When he finally rammed his cock inside with full force, I welcomed it lasciviously. His lovemaking was demanding, hard and harsh like a man starved; I matched his need. There were no words spoken. Our bodies spoke for us.

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined such a soul-consuming connection with anyone. It was a connection that obliterated my sanity. It yearned with no concession. It was like a hypnotic state of a nonsensical, merry-go-round of emotions with no chance in hell of slowing down. People always spoke about it, but I'd never understood their uncontrollable obsession, _until now_.

I was petrified and scared shitless; however, I didn't have the capacity to walk away from him.

_It was all or nothing._

# Chapter Seventy-Five

"Poppet, wake up," Blake's voice trailed along my neck as it sent goose bumps all over my body. I sighed contently. _I like being woken up like this_. I was on my stomach as he began kissing me across my shoulder and then his kisses trailed lower.

_Jesus, the man has more stamina than an Arabian horse._

I was caught by surprise when he swiftly lifted my butt and placed a pillow underneath me. My ass was raised into the air, hailing his undivided attention. His thumb rubbed my clit intensely as he licked the lips around it and stuck his tongue inside my opening. He groaned loudly when I moaned his name. He was insatiable and I loved the fact that he couldn't get enough of me.

_If this is his way of marking me, then mark away, lover!_

Lifting his body to his knees, he squeezed my ass with both of his hands. He took his sweet time, torturing me with the head of his cock, swiping it back and forth on my clit to make sure I was wet enough.

My mouth hung ajar as I groaned from his ministrations. "Blake! Fuck me already!" I was aggravated and beyond aroused! I wasn't to be me messed with!

Thrusting his huge cock, he penetrated me quite roughly; the sudden impact stunned my body for a mere second. I was a bit sore from his rough handling the night before, though my greed for him seized me entirely and erased any thought of the soreness. I moaned as he took himself deeper.

My pussy was salivating from the building pressure. He pulled my hips and commanded me to lift myself to all fours as he pounded my cunt harder. The impact of his balls slapping and hitting my wet folds just heightened my burning need.

He slapped my ass. Hard. I howled from the impact of his palm as I felt a well of liquid seep out of me. My mind went blank from the excruciating hunger that rumbled inside.

"You feel incredible," Blake said in between heavy panting.

Grabbing both of my ass cheeks with his hands, gripping them firmly as he fucked me harder, my body tightened from his animalistic lovemaking. I yelled, gripping the sheets as my body was released from its misery. My orgasm overwhelmed and paralyzed me as his tempo picked up faster than before.

" _This pussy belongs to me,_ " he growled loudly through gritted teeth. "Tell me it's mine. Tell me!" his voice roared possessively.

"This pussy's yours, Blake. It's yours. I'm giving it to you. _Take it_. _It's yours_ ," I breathily panted as his orgasm came to a close. With one last thrust, he stiffened and spilled his semen inside me.

He panted heavily, his cheek on the back of my shoulder as he said, "It's mine, all mine; don't you dare forget that!"

_Loud. And. Clear._

# ~S~

After Blake's lovemaking, my lids started to get heavy. I submitted to my body's demand for recuperation as sleep took over.

A loud thud woke me from my slumber. _How long did I nap for?_ I sleepily wondered.

I sat up and yawned loudly as Blake entered the room dressed in a black suit, stark white dress shirt and a black silver-patterned tie. My eyes greedily roamed all over him. He looked sharp and utterly delectable. My mouth watered.

_And he's leaving for a month and a half. How the hell am I going to survive now? I'll miss him like mad._

The bed dipped as he sat on it, smiling affectionately as he traced my swollen lips with his thumb. "You look flushed and satisfied, my sweet. Your hair's all sexily mussed up and you look absolutely beautiful."

Gazing contently at him, I smiled like an idiot. "Maybe you did something right, Knightly." I suggestively licked my lips, my fingers playing with his hair behind his ear. "Your skills are extraordinary; _incomparable._ "

Every time he smiled at me I felt like I'd just won the lottery. I was such a sucker for his smiles. I was hopeless!

Smiling in between his soft kisses, he managed to say, "Oh yeah? Try to remember that in the next few weeks. I'll try to get away as much as I can, though you have to understand the kind of pressure I have at the moment. I have so much to prove to my grandfather." He paused as his eyes scanned my face. "Just remember how good it'll be when we see each other again."

_Yes, it will be hella crazy._

"Blake, everyone that knows you knows how incredible you are. Your own investments have been phenomenal. I don't doubt you for a second. As for your _other_ worries, stop, okay? You're worrying for nothing." I kissed his lips to assure him.

"All right, I have to leave for Gatwick Airport. I hate leaving you here." He took something out of his pocket and handed me a key with an embossed, golden, oriental lily with intricate pink and white diamonds around the designed keychain. It was probably about two and half inches in diameter.

I swallowed.

"Are these _real_ diamonds? Blake, this must've cost a fortune!" I stared at him in shock.

He simply shrugged. "You're worth it, poppet."

I looked down at it with confusion as I traced the lily with my finger. Sometimes I tended to forget how loaded Blake was; the keychain cost probably a fraction of his shaving paraphernalia, _but still_. We hadn't properly dated yet.

He knew I loved that particular type of lily. The intoxicating perfumed smell and the contrasting colors of pinks were too beautiful to explain. My insides swelled from the thought that he could remember insignificant details about me.

"This is the spare key to my apartment. I already informed the lobby about you. It's your second home now. I've been meaning to give this to you since you gave me yours, but didn't get the chance to. I know how much you love this particular kind of lily so I thought it would be a nice reminder when you see it, hoping that you'll think of me."

"Thank you! It's very sweet and a thoughtful gesture; however I don't need a reminder of you, Blake... you're in my thoughts all the time."

"Good to know because you're in mine, every second," Blake declared, getting up and kissing me one last time. We said our goodbyes and he left for the airport.

# ~S~

The apartment was silent without him. I took the pillow he slept on last night and inhaled his scent; lemons and the smell of his intoxicating skin. _Maybe I should take the pillow with me when I go. Tempting._

_I miss him already._

Grazing my fingertip on the lily keychain, I flipped it over and was surprised that he'd had it engraved. Cradling it on my palm, I read it slowly. _"And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us."_

_I'll be thinking of you, poppet._

It was a quote by the famous Pablo Neruda, one of my favored poets. My heart thudded as I traced the engraving. _He remembers everything that I like!_ With his razor-sharp, brilliant mind, I was not surprised that he did.

_However the thought of him making an effort is a major deal._

Bubbles of happiness coursed through my body.

_He thinks of everything; so far, I'm putty in his hands._

_He simply knows how to put a smile on my face._

# Chapter Seventy-Six

Three days had passed and I was still high on Blake and I didn't want it to stop. It was even better than a triple chocolate cake and crème brûlée put together. _Though I'm sure if you put them all together, I would devour them all with gusto._

We'd been relentlessly calling and texting each other. With the permit problem fixed, there was still much for him to get done. His schedule was punishing, yet he still made time to call me every night before he went to bed. Sweet, wasn't it?

I was walking on cloud nine as I entered the restaurant where I was meeting Kyle for lunch. It was a block away from school, so saying no to him when he'd invited me for lunch had not been an option. He was already at a table and stood up as I approached him.

The dark circles were gone, his face bright and handsome as ever. He was wearing his usual get-up; jeans, shirt and his rugged Timberland boots. He looked well. _I'm glad that his transition in the office had worked out fine._

"How are you, baby?" He kissed my cheek before I sat down. Kyle had always called me baby, even before we'd started dating. There was some odd sense of security knowing that he was there with me. I suppose it was because he had been a big part of my life growing up.

"I'm good! What about you? How's work?" I asked before taking a sip of water.

"What's this?" Kyle asked as his finger pointed at the folded flyer in my hand. He jovially took it, his long, manly fingers prying it open.

"You're looking for a job? Why didn't you say so?" He peered at me as he popped an olive.

I was staring at his mouth. I looked away quickly, a little embarrassed. _Damn, he's still cute and sexy to boot. Are these normal reactions to your still-hot looking ex? I suppose so. I mean, it was merely a month ago since that mouth went downtown on my body._

"I don't know what I want yet. Have to see what's available. Although I want to work somewhere challenging, you know, a job that I can learn from and apply later on in life."

"Well, why didn't you say? I'm interviewing for an assistant," Kyle informed me, smiling widely.

"You're joking, right? Why would you _need_ an assistant, Kyle?" He usually did his own thing.

"Hey! Don't underestimate my abilities. You know I've been working for the company since I was sixteen. I've earned my position. All I'm saying is that I have a spot available, if you're not interested, too bad." He shrugged slightly as he devoured another olive.

"Sorry, I wasn't underestimating your abilities. I was just surprised. Climbing up the ladder, hmm? I'm happy for you, but as you can see, my class schedule is a little crazy. I don't see how that could work."

The waiter took our order and placed a bottle of red wine and breadsticks on the table. Kyle poured wine in our glasses while I munched on the olives and breadsticks.

I was famished.

"The schedule's going to be flexible. You will be working more at night when I scout during gigs or talk to bands during shifts. You only have to go to the office once or twice a week to do some paperwork. Other than that, you can send emails through your phone when I need you to get some things done."

"Hmmm, are you sure you want me as your assistant, Kyle?" Arching my brow at him, I questioned his sanity. "What if we fight all the time? What then?"

"Baby, you forget that it's me you're dealing with. For years, I've dealt with your PMS and your mood swings." I choked on my olive, but he kept going. "I took care of you when you were sick, held your hair as you puked your guts out over the toilet, taught you how to drive; need I say more?"

"Fine, I get it. When do you want me to start?" I smirked. _I wonder what it'll be like working with Kyle._ He was passionate about his job and I admired that; however, there was a lot of baggage between the two of us.

"How does Friday night sound? I need to check out a band that's playing in Camden."

"Friday sounds bueno! Try not to be such a slave driver, okay?"

I couldn't wait to start work. I had always wondered how it would be working behind the scenes; the process, the thrill of signing a great band. I was dying to know.

"I'll definitely try not to work you to the ground, baby," he murmured softly. _I wonder if Blake will be bothered that he calls me 'baby?'_

Our food arrived and our conversation steered to his job as well as what he had been up to. Stories flowed and we chatted about the people we knew back home. His easygoing personality made it easy for me to be comfortable with him again. If we continued with this kind of progression, our friendship would bounce back in no time. I was confident that it would.

We parted after our lunch date and I had to scurry to The National Gallery Museum to meet my class. We were going to learn about Botticelli and his work. I was energized and psyched that I would get to study it up close. The week before, I had been awestruck with the works of Jan van Eyck, especially with _The_ _Arnolfini Marriage_ illusionism painting. It was simply unique and his perfect execution of geometrical points and perception were outstanding. Not to mention, his application on the reversed reflection of the mirror with immaculate detail had rendered me speechless. His one-of-a-kind depiction of lighting had also made it extraordinary. I had been intrigued and enraptured.

Our class was small with twenty students who were all eager to learn about art and its history. When I got there, the class had already gathered at the far end of Trafalgar Square as our teacher, Mrs. Samantha Collins, checked her roster. She was a charming British lady who talked animatedly with passionate alacrity for anything and everything pertaining to art. Some people had the zeal for it and others were simply apathetic about the subject. I, for one, liked to be absorbed in the artist's craftiness and mastery.

The execution of their imagination in fine, intricate detail was simply gravitating. It was like being transported and seeing it from their eyes. Their hopes, dreams, emotions, their soul and their very being were captured from their compelling, graphic artistry. My intuitive mind was keen to learn and grasp their unrivaled ingenuity.

While studying the _Venus and Mars_ renaissance painting, I received a message from Blake.

Blake: _What have you been up to, poppet? Stuck here about to head for a meeting. I'm knackered._

I couldn't help turning mushy every single time I got a message from him. I smirked when he used "knackered," British slang for tired. I was still learning their British colloquialism, but it was funny how I tended to use some of them. Chad, too, but he'd been there for almost five years. He went there to study after high school and decided to stay when he graduated. He told me that once you fell for London, it was hard to let go.

I rushed a reply.

Me: _I'm at the National Gallery studying. Btw, I found a job! Drink up some of your beloved espressos. I'm sure that'll help put you back in top form._

My phone beeped again.

Blake: _You were looking for a job? Why didn't you mention it, poppet? If you ever need money, just say so. Give me your banking details. I'll have it wired to you immediately._

I almost choked on my saliva.

Me: _No, thank you. Keep your money; it wasn't the issue. I just want to see if I can explore more and meet new people. I only have school and I hate being idle._

Luce mentioned once a few months ago how Blake would give hefty allowances to his women. A week or a month, it didn't make a difference since he simply spoiled them rotten. Apart from his god-like handsomeness, he was like the Roman god Plutus incarnate, squandering his wealth and lavishing the over-eager strumpets that were ready and willing for him. If Blake Knightly said jump, they eagerly responded, "how high?" _I'm not bitter, much_.

Honestly, I can't recall how many women he'd dated since I'd met him; there were countless numbers of them. It was dangerous to think about. A speck of doubt was a speck of venom that would surely poison our budding relationship. We were still building our trust with each other as lovers; my mind could not wander about in the unchartered territory of doubt.

With Kyle, I had encountered many instances where women hit on him constantly or "friends" that would try to seduce him while I was not paying attention. It was aggravating to say the least. With Blake, though, it was like comparing a gigantic lake to an ocean. Overwhelming didn't even cover it.

_So, what's a woman to do?_ I simply pushed it aside and distracted myself with dancing or with a handful of French and Italian pastries. _Voila! It works like a charm._

Blake: _Sorry, meeting just started. Which company will you work for? When do you start?_

My stomach did a somersault. _Should I tell him the truth or skirt around it? He'll eventually find out._ It was better to break it to him now rather than later.

Me: _I start tomorrow. I'm an assistant for M.A.T.T. Music. It's off my major, but too good of an opportunity to pass up. I'm pretty psyched about it!_

I hit send before I could change my mind.

My phone vibrated immediately. _Whoa, that was fast. Isn't he in a meeting?_

Blake: _Isn't that Kyle's company? You'll be working for him? Rubbish. Tell him you're going to quit. I'll get you a job somewhere suitable._

_He's not serious? Screw you_. He could shove his demands somewhere else. I wasn't budging.

Me: _Don't dictate my life! My mind is capable of making rational decisions. If you're not happy about it, well too bad; deal with it._

_If he's going to think I'll be complacent like his previous women, then he can think again!_ I shoved my phone back in my purse, infuriated with his attitude. I'd rather get back to studying Botticelli paintings than deal with His Royal Highness.

My phone vibrated again, but I ignored it.

_Let him simmer and fester._ He deserved it.

# Chapter Seventy-Seven

Blake

It had been a hectic day full of meetings, video calls and now, it seemed it was going to get even better. Amelia Mendez was in the middle of her presentation when my Blackberry vibrated. Everyone noticed, but I didn't give a damn. My mood wasn't going to be messed with or they'd end up getting fired. Amelia smiled and proceeded. She'd been giving me a lot of blatant come-hither looks. She was certainly beautiful, but I'd been subtly declining her advances.

I'd turned them all down since Sienna became mine.

Sienna: _Don't dictate my life! My mind is capable of making rational decisions. If you're not happy about it, too bad; deal with it._

_Christ! This woman's impossible! How can she think that working with Kyle would be all right with me?_

Me: _I made my feelings perfectly clear concerning that cretin. I'm being rational. I can get you a job anywhere, name it. Kyle has motives. I just want you to be safe; that is all. I miss you, poppet._

I placed my phone back in my pocket and waited for her reply. Ten minutes passed and she still hadn't answered. She was obviously ticked off. I'd give her time to calm down.

It was evident to everyone within sight that he wanted her back, but his loss had been my gain. I wasn't as feebleminded as he was. He hadn't realized how special Sienna was; however, I did. I'd waited gallantly for almost nine months. I wasn't going to let him snatch her away. _Hell. The. Fuck. No._

That first night I had seen her at Toby's party, I had immediately been bewitched. She wasn't the type of woman I was usually attracted to, but, Christ, any man would have to be blind not to be captivated by the exotically golden/green-eyed beauty and her lush curves, especially that toned, succulent ass of hers. Her body was just perfect; long wavy mane, C-cups, small waist and a nice rounded, pert bottom. She was the kind of woman who could make a man groan as she passed by. She was lethal to all hot-blooded males in her vicinity.

I was shocked after I had been introduced to her and had made the realization that she was not superficial, instead she was quite a sincere person. She was a breath of fresh air with enough sass, wit and sweetness melded into her goddess beauty that I had instantly wanted to know more about her.

I couldn't get enough of her.

When Toby had seen where my eyes had wandered, he'd warned me to back off. He'd mentioned that she was in a _very_ committed relationship with her childhood sweetheart and there was no chance in hell of breaking them up. They were in love and would marry someday. So, I had retreated. How could a man compete with that? Love was anathema to me. I had seen my parents in love, but never had I experienced it for myself.

Yet, I couldn't stay away from her. I was drawn to her; hook, line and sinker. So, I settled for her friendship. When our friendship had flourished, it made me want her more. We had a lot in common and she was fun to be around, but I had to keep my desires buried when she was near. I quietly lusted from afar for months as I practiced the art of restraint and placed a harness on my feelings. When she broke the news that Kyle had cheated and started seeing someone else, I was triumphant and my mind was set on having her.

My plan faltered when she decided to go see him after what he'd done. I let her be. If closure was what she needed, then closure was what she'd get. Had I known at the time what that visit would result in, I wouldn't have let her go.

When Lucy casually mentioned that Sienna was back early, how distraught she was and _why_ she was distraught, furious didn't amount to what I'd felt then. The impulse to see her was imminent and I made a dash to my flat to get her spare key. I let myself in the apartment, ready to confront and berate her; however, when I'd opened her bedroom door and had seen her sleeping so soundly, all thoughts vanished.

It pained me that she'd slept with him, but it didn't change the fact that I still wanted her more than ever. I had to tread carefully when pursuing her, though all my good intentions of taking it slowly had vanished when she'd taunted me in the car; when she had spoken in Spanish. I knew the language fluently, but when she purred in Spanish, I had been flabbergasted. I wanted to fuck her right then, yet I did as she asked and waited.

Then, when she broke the news about Kyle moving here and she needed to help him, I was conflicted. I wanted her, but she was still attached to the man. That night at the park, I was at odds with myself. I wanted her; however, I couldn't bring myself to ask if she was still in love with him. If she was in love, how in God's name could I compete with that? I did what I had to do; I walked away. My Sienna didn't make it easy for me, though. She had to drag that cretin to the club and flaunt him as he groped her right before my eyes. Roaring jealousy floored me and ripped me apart. I was done for.

I knew then.

I knew that if I didn't possess her, I would be haunted by her forever. They say life was about taking risks, right? My sanity was at stake; the decision had been made.

That same night, when she finally gave herself to me, something deep inside me had changed.

A soul-shifting alteration that had touched the very core of my being; Sienna had done that, unbeknownst to her.

The meeting ended. I thanked everyone as they departed and scampered back to their offices. Amelia sauntered toward me, placing her hand on my chest; a bold move for a bold woman. I met her three months ago when I made a quick trip to oversee the new branch, along with the new project. I was attracted to her and she had easily given in to my advances without hesitation. For two whole nights, I had enjoyed her body. However, seeing her now didn't do anything for me. Although she obviously wanted to pick up where we'd left off.

"Señor Knightly, what time will you need me to be ready for the gala tonight?" We were both going to represent the company and she was my plus one. It was all business and nothing else. She was a daughter of a prominent family in Spain. She was good at her job and she was a great asset for the company. It also didn't hurt that she had vast connections in the country.

"Be ready by six. You can go home and get ready. I'm sure we'll be fine without you for the rest of the day," I said calmly, cocking my head quickly and going back to studying the paperwork I had in my hands. She leaned a little closer and grazed my cheek. Her perfume was heady and I wanted to get away.

"I'll be more than ready for you. See you tonight, mi amor," she purred and then sashayed her tight-clad body out the door.

Running my hand through my hair, I made a mental note to tell her I was seeing someone else. She seemed oblivious to the fact that I had declined her offers, several times. She simply kept on coming nonetheless. _Christ, that woman's going to be trouble._

Releasing a heavy sigh, I went back to my office, sat on my desk and stared at the photo of the woman who had irrevocably bewitched me. It was a picture I had taken the day after making love to her. That night had been one of the best nights I'd ever had. She had definitely been worth the wait. When I'd woken up and seen her next to me, I had to keep a memento; to freeze that moment in my mind. She was everything that I'd ever wanted in a woman and more. I had grabbed my phone and taken the picture. Her hair was disheveled, lips slightly parted and the sheet barely covered her breasts. She looked so peaceful and absolutely breathtaking.

Something tugged inside of me the longer I stared at her. _Christ, Knightly, you've got it really bad._

Pulling out my phone, I checked for messages or missed calls. I got a few from friends and work, but none had come from her.

I squeezed the bridge of my nose to ease some tension, and then buzzed the intercom, barking for Luke, my assistant who was hired a week ago in London, to come inside my office "this instant".

"Yes, Mr. Knightly?" the composed, blue-eyed, blond asked.

"Can you check my schedule? Tell me when I'm free so I can visit London."

After a minute or two, he came back again with the company iPad and checked the calendar. Clearing his throat, he spoke, "Next week, you can leave Friday afternoon, but you have to be back early Sunday to make it for your golf meeting with the Mayor and other investors."

"Fine, make sure the pilot knows. I want to leave at four and get there by six. Do it before you leave today. That will be it, Luke. Thank you."

"Good day, Mr. Knightly."

_Fuck! Another week until I see her? Fuck!_

# Chapter Seventy-Eight

Sienna

"Owww," I yelped in pain when my tongue got burned by the scalding hot coffee. I'd been all over the place and my mind had decided to take a vacation somewhere in Marbella. The first thing I'd done that morning was check my phone for calls or messages. I was crushed when he never called or texted last night; he usually called me before he went to bed.

I huffed. If he was still mad at me, okay. I could deal with that, but what I couldn't fathom was someone telling me what to do. If he wanted to be with me, he had to change. I was not yielding to his demands.

I was on my way to Chad's studio in Camden town geared in an all-black ensemble; black cami, black pants and black pumps. It definitely matched my mood and I was in terrible need for girly time. I knew Chad was a man—technically speaking—however he was a woman at heart. His usual laissez-faire attitude would help pick up my mood.

Pulling open the door to his studio, I let myself in and called out his name. The main floor was his actual art studio where he did some of his shoots and his touch-and-go penchant for painting. He only painted when he was stressed out, though. His main focus, pride and joy was photography.

"In here, baby love!" Chad yelled behind the black drapes and I strolled over to him.

My shoes clicked loudly against the hardwood floors as I walked and my eyes scanned the room. The first thing I noticed was black. There were a lot of black drapes lining the room. The second thing I noticed was his equipment. There were a lot of scattered props; black chaise lounge, black covered bed, huge mirrors, metal working table with a lot of strategically placed work-man tools and an all-black Harley Davidson Hot Rod sat in the middle of the room.

I dauntingly stared at the bike. _Am I going to be on that thing? Or the guy named Troy?_

"Like it? It's such a sexy bike. I pulled some strings to get a loaner. It's going to be fabulous! Troy's here somewhere." Chad looked around and called out to him.

A man emerged from another black curtain draping on the other side of the room. He was dressed in a low-rise, all black Armani micro-modal trunk. Holy Shit! My eyes landed on his bulging mid-section and then grazed over muscled thighs and up toward his torso. _Whoa, was that an eight pack? I've never seen one up close._ He had the bad boy, dark hair going on. It was a little long, brushing over his jaw, unruly, but it gave him more appeal and a little edge. Dark hair, chocolate eyes and a sexy grin as he saw me check him out from head to toe.

Chad cleared his throat as I looked away embarrassed. _Crap._ "Troy Scott, meet Sienna Richards. Sienna, this is Troy," Chad introduced us jovially.

"Hello, Sienna. Finally! I get to meet you. Chad's been talking about you non-stop," the hot hunk said with a dark, deep voice in his British accent.

"Great to meet you, too! I hope Chad spoke kindly of me. He can get carried away sometimes," I said with enthusiasm. _He's hot, all right! However my man is even sexier and hotter by tenfold._

_So stop staring at his body, hmmm?_

"Enough with the pleasantries and let's get down to business, shall we?" Chad's business voice echoed in the room. _Okay, here goes._

Chad directed me behind the drapes where Troy had come out and gave me a silk-ruffled bikini panty, a small, black silk robe and four-inch, black suede boots that sat two inches above my knees—fuck-me boots he said—to change into. He immediately applied heavy, black eyeliner, false eyelashes and cherry red lipstick.

Troy was leaning against a table when I came out. I didn't even look at him because I was a little apprehensive about my lack of clothing. He was a model; I was sure these things didn't bother him, though to a novice like me, it was nerve-racking.

"Okay, Sienna, I want to get a few shots with you first. Can you stand in front of the mirror, cup your tits and take off your robe, please?" Chad already had his camera hanging around his neck and he had several strobes, umbrellas and reflectors all ready.

Holy Shit! _Calm your nerves, Sienna. Just have fun and don't think._

Music played in the background; "Teardrop" by Massive Attack. The beat certainly made it more sensuous. I walked over to the huge mirrors against the wall and my reflection stared back at me. _Yup! I look like an over-sexed, confident woman. Just pretend you are for today. Own it. I can do that, right?_

Chad asked me to turn around as I slowly slipped off my robe. He toyed with my long hair and asked me to open my legs a little wider while cupping my breasts. _Click. Click. Click._ "Stare back in the mirror and stick your tongue out over your upper lip. You look hot, Sienna." _Click. Click._

His next shot had me lying on my stomach with my legs crisscrossed. "Lift your butt a little higher." _Click. Click._ "Beautiful. Now look at me. I want you to look into the camera with 'I want you' eyes." _Click_. "That's perfect, love." _Click._ "Bite your bottom lip and look at me through your lashes. Think lustful thoughts. Give me that provocative face. Perfect!" _Click. Click. Click._ "Tilt your head to the right." _Click. Click._

"Troy, you're on! Get on Sienna's back!" _Oh. My. God. Breathe, woman!_

I heard him approach. _Dear, me_. "Sienna, lift your butt again and pull your hair to one side. Troy, please get on top of her. Put one hand on her waist, the other on the bed to hold yourself and smell her neck."

Troy simply said "okay" like it was no big deal. I was sure it wasn't to him.

The bed dipped and I suddenly felt the warmth of his muscled body over mine. His covered cock was pressed on my ass as he gently placed his face near my neck. _Dear God!_ _I feel hot all-over._ "Sexual perfection," Chad said.

_Click. Click_. Troy's breath was hot on my neck and it took a lot of power in me not to shiver.

"'Kay, now nibble her ear lobe." _Um, hell! This is torture._ The minute his tongue captured my lobe, I let out a soft moan. _FUCK!_ "Beautiful, guys! Open your mouth a little wider, Sienna. Troy, hold her waist tighter like you can't wait to have her. You're seducing her into submission and will fuck her mindless!" _Click. Click. Click._ "Change positions. Get on the chaise lounge. Troy, sit comfortably, and Sienna, go straddle him while you take off the boots, please." _I guess I will just have to get over Troy being up close and personal with my boobs then._

I walked over to where Troy sat, hoping that he'd be chipper so that it wouldn't have to be so awkward, but nope, he was unsmiling as I stopped opposite of him. Tucking my legs slowly on his hips and straddling him, he gave a deep groan. I didn't dare peek at him.

"Troy, kiss her neck and push your chest to her tits. Sienna, look straight at the camera and grab his shoulder. _" Wow, this is intense. I'm going to strangle Chad. Fuck! Blake won't be happy about this._

_Click. Click._ Chad went behind me and took a few more pictures. "Sienna, I want you to lift your butt a little and then plump down on Troy, will you? Wrap your hands on his neck and look at me, love. Make the other men jealous." _Click. Click._ "Perfect. Troy, grab her ass with both hands." _Click. Click. Click_. He took a few more in different angles before he ended the session.

"Thank you, Troy, Sienna. I'll see you both Sunday at four?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Troy replied as he smiled at me. _Now he smiles, after the shoot._

I wanted to cover my boobs, but it was pointless. He had an up close and personal introduction to my lady lumps. I gave him a non-committal smile and he escaped to go change as Chad handed me the black robe. I immediately slipped it on my barely-clad body.

"Thank you, baby love! I knew it was a bit hard for you to do this, but you were fantastic! Behind the lens, you looked like you've done it for years. If I were straight, I'd already have a hard-on just by looking at you."

I laughed. "It was a bit hard, but I'm doing this for you. You owe me big time!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now, go change so we can have dinner." I waited until Troy came out before I went to change back into my own clothing and I didn't even bother to take the make-up off. It fit perfectly with my all black get-up.

Chad and Troy were chatting like they were old buddies. I ignored them as I fished for my phone inside my purse, but no messages from Blake. _Does he plan to ignore me forever?_

Chad invited Troy to join us for dinner, but he declined because he had an early shoot the next day.

"Bye, Sienna. You were great!" Troy said.

I reddened. "Thank you! You were, too!" I mumbled. _I can't talk about it without getting shy and agitated. Ha!_

I followed Chad to his loft upstairs. He was making chicken pesto as I pulled out a bottle of white wine. "Chad, what's up with the soft porn shoot?" Glaring as I poured us both wine.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Baby love, it was hot! Troy was so turned on and you were, too." Cocking up a brow, he confirmed. "We all heard the moan." _No shit._

"Uh, duh? The man was sucking and nipping on my ear! Any woman would've reacted the same way. Throw a nun in there and she'd have the same reaction!" I tried to justify myself.

Sipping half of his glass in one gulp, he said, "I guess it helped a lot that he's got a marvelous body to boot, ey?" Chad sighed dreamily, thoughts wandering about Troy, I was sure. _He's hopeless._

"Well, I suppose his body's pretty great! He does have that bad boy thing going on." _...and not to mention his nice ass?_ I chuckled softly.

"Guess it's not that big of a deal since you've surrounded yourself with hot men lately, hmmm? There's Kyle, there's Troy and our god of sexiness, Blake. Must be nice, baby love!" He motioned for me to give him the pepper grinder and I placed it next to him.

"Kyle's a part of my past and we're working on our friendship. I hope working with him will help it recover, you know? As for Blake, he's still too intense for me, but I want him."

While he was making the sauce, he asked me about Blake. I told him the story starting from the moment we'd gotten back to his apartment that Saturday night. "I knew it! Blake's face said it all. Can you believe it? Blake is your boyfriend! How can you get all the luck, Sienna? I feel faint every time I see him smile. How do you stand it? He's such a marvelous piece of eye candy! I wish he had an identical gay twin!" He pouted as he fanned his cheeks. It was true; we both drooled over Blake! Who wouldn't? He was just über fucking yummy! I went over to hug him and promised that I'd dish out all the delicious details to keep him at bay. He bounced like a five-year-old.

I sat back in the chair, feeling a bit down. "It's great and all, but he hasn't contacted me for a whole day now. I'm worried. What if he found someone else? He wouldn't have to look too hard."

"Do you blame him? He has the right to be jealous. Kyle wants you back and he feels threatened. After all, Kyle's your first. He wouldn't dump you like that, though, love. It's Blake we're talking about. You're precious to him, even as a friend. Now that you guys are dating, you mean more to him. If it worries you that much, why don't you call him? He's probably waiting for you."

"I could call him tonight, I guess," I conceded.

"Splendid! Now, that's settled. Tell me, did he tell you he loves you yet?" His question caught me off guard so the wine went the wrong way and I was coughing mildly. _Uh, what the fuck?_

"Shut it, Chad! It's too early to be talking about love. This is about having fun and enjoying my youth! It was merely lust, not love; big difference there, Sherlock." _Was I in love with Blake? That's a little extreme. We barely just started. Love is not on the agenda._

"Open your eyes, young lady! Have you seen how Kyle and Blake look at you? Their faces mirror each other. Fine, let's agree that Blake might not be there yet, but he's sure as hell making the trip to 'I Love Sienna Island' a little quicker. Trust me; I studied the guy's reaction that night, baby love. They're going to fight over you. Kyle was _the_ love of your life. Blake is the present _lover_ in your life." Chad looked at me thoughtfully. "The million dollar question is, if push comes to shove, who would you choose?"

I didn't answer him as he continued to make the pasta because I didn't have a response. I went to the living room and stared out the window. Kyle didn't know about Blake, yet. Once he found out, I knew he'd be devastated. _Will he fight for me? If he does, am I willing to hurt him?_

I shuddered.

I loved Kyle. I always had. I mean, who wouldn't? He had been my life before. _Do I love Blake? No, not that way. Although, my body has its own mind when he's around._ With Blake, I felt something... different. He evoked something profound within me. That was the intense part that I got scared about. He was too much and Kyle was familiar.

# ~S~

It was past eight-thirty when I got back to my apartment and I was extremely exhausted, but I wouldn't go to bed until I'd spoken to Blake.

The photo shoot had been interesting, to say the least. I rehashed everything in my head as I showered and brushed my teeth. _I'm sure when Sunday comes around, it won't be so awkward._

Dressed in my pastel pink silk slip, I sat on my bed and dialed Blake. After a few rings, he picked up. _Thank you, Jesus!_

"Sienna," Blake breathed out my name. Hearing his voice made my insides twist.

"Blake, you haven't been texting or calling. Are you still mad?" My voice was low and calm. My fingers toyed with strands of my hair. _Don't be; I'm going crazy here._

"I was giving you time to cool off, poppet. Have you missed me?"

Smiling like an idiot, I gushed, "I miss you. I miss you terribly. Are you still planning to visit this weekend?"

"I can't come out this weekend, poppet. I'm sorry. My schedule's chaotic. Hopefully next week, if I can manage."

I let out a disappointed sigh. "All right, promise to let me know when you are sure it's definite?"

"I promise, poppet." I could hear him smiling. I could picture him with that beautiful smile as he spoke on his cell.

He ended up talking about the galas and other parties he had attended for work. He asked me about the photo shoot with Chad. I gave him a cutout, subtle version and convinced him that he had to wait for the exhibition. After an hour of talking, we decided to call it a night.

I twisted and turned on my bed while sleep eluded me. Thoughts of Blake—his voice, his smell—lingered through my mind.

My body ached for him.

My hand slowly went south as I relieved myself, thinking about the man who had hounded my thoughts endlessly from the moment he'd kissed me.

# Chapter Seventy-Nine

Since I didn't have classes on Friday, I slept in longer. Somewhere in my foggy mind I thought I heard Lucy buzz someone in. _I guess she's having friends over._

My mind started to drift back to slumberland when someone knocked.

"Yeah?" I croakily called out, still not moving from my position.

"Morning, love! Sorry to be a bugger, but you have a delivery; a few of them, actually."

_A delivery?_ I hadn't ordered anything online lately.

I dragged myself out of bed to check where they had come from. There were three enormous, lime-colored crystal vases with two dozen of my favorite oriental lilies in each one. I took the card that was attached to the first and opened it: _I want you_. My face glowed and beamed. I took the second card: _I miss you_. The third one said: _I worship you_.

_I'm definitely charmed._

There was another knock on the door and Lucy opened it straight away. The deliverymen stood there with a gigantic box of pastries that had the world-renowned Pierre Hermé label. Two of the men went past us, heading directly to the living room with the box in their hands. I didn't see the man standing in the back of the others, so I jumped out of my skin when he greeted us.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you, but I'm looking for Ms. Sienna Richards?" a tall, lithe blond with clear blue eyes asked Lucy and I. _Um, who is this man, again?_ He'd never said.

"Um, that would be me. Who are you? Sorry, you didn't introduce yourself." I gave him a confused looked.

"I'm Luke Scott. I work for Knightly Industries as Blake Knightly IV's assistant. I was ordered by Mr. Knightly to come here." _Interesting._

The deliverymen started to dissipate, exiting one by one, however Luke Scott stayed. He was smiling with a twinkle in his eye. Hmm...

"I think the room is ready. Let's all go and see."

Luce and I shared a what-the-fuck-is-going-on look as we followed Blake's assistant to the living room.

The coffee table had been transformed into a French pastry wonderland. Different flavors of authentic macarons were neatly organized in a towering pastry stand. Another tower was made of cream puffs, éclairs, napoleon, small Parisian cakes, fruit gateau, and pan au chocolat, to name a few. There were three silver platters of assorted chocolates and a bottle of champagne chilling in a silver bucket next to the coffee table and a coffee pot.

My eyes greedily roamed the contents as my stomach growled. _Right on cue, Blake._

"Enjoy, ladies. Also, Ms. Richards, I was ordered to give you this." He took a small, soft-leather box out of his breast pocket.

"Uh, thanks. Um, why don't you join us, Luke?"

"The company jet is waiting for me in Gatwick actually. I have to get back to Marbella as soon as possible. There was a lot of traffic in Paris so I'm running late. There's an important meeting set for three this afternoon and it's already quarter to twelve, but thank you, Ms. Richards. I'll let my boss know how delighted you are. I didn't realize how romantic he could be," he said with a wink.

"Wait, did you just say you flew to Paris? _To buy pastries?_ "

_Goodness gracious._

"Yes, that was what Mr. Knightly ordered. I really must get going. Have a good day, ladies." He promptly left without much ado, leaving Luce and I staring at each other.

A shrieking laugh came from Lucy, who was obviously as excited as I was. "Sienna, what the hell have you done to poor Blake? He's obviously smitten. I knew it! It took longer than expected, but Toby predicted that Blake had his eyes set on you. I'm happy that he's making you happy."

"You could say that, I guess. It's just in the early days, but I do like him a lot." Okay, I was a bit embarrassed that I hadn't told her myself first.

"No wonder women clamor for him. Look at this! He had his assistant jetting off to Paris to fetch a few boxes of freshly baked pastries for his beloved. Oh, Sienna! It shows how much you mean to him when he goes to such lengths. Isn't that romantic?" she said dreamily.

_It's more than romantic. It's downright disarming me. If this is his intent, then he's doing a stupendous job!_

Luce and I sat as we poured each other drinks, champagne for her and coffee for me. We savored each pastry and compared which one was the best. It was an orgasmic dessert heaven.

"How I wish Toby would do something like this for me. I mean, not on the same scale of grandeur—the man doesn't own private jets—yet just as sweet and romantic _." Did I hear a tinge of sadness? I might just be imagining things._ They're crazy for each other.

I took a sip of my coffee, eyeing her warily. "Toby loves you and he has his own way of showing it. Everything okay with you guys?"

She let out a sigh and limply sat back with angst written all over her face. "It's been rather off for the last week. Something's wrong, but he's not telling me. I'll give him a few more days to tell, if not, then I'll have to find another way." _Uh oh._

"Whatever it is I'm sure he has a good reason. He could be swamped with work, you know," I tried to ease her worries.

She shrugged and got up. "We'll see. Anyhow, I have to go meet a few of my schoolmates for a project. I'll help you clean up when I get back, okay? Tell Blake I enjoyed his impromptu." She went over to kiss my cheek, but I hugged her instead and gave her a little squeeze.

"It'll be okay," I whispered in her ear as she nodded and headed out the door. It was apparent that she was bothered about it. I hoped she would be okay.

The soft-leather box sat closed next to the tower of macarons. I was dying to know what was inside.

I jerked it open.

It was a bracelet. A lightweight, gold chain design with an oblong, gold medallion and a big, diamond-studded heart that had tiny diamond-studded B.K. initials on the bottom right. _Huh! Why would he put his initials there? Is this his way of laying it on Kyle when I start work tonight?_

I placed the bracelet back on the table, scrambled to get my phone in the bedroom and dialed Blake. When he picked up, I didn't even let him say hello. I was ready to chew him out.

_"Knightly, you'd better explain to me and you'd better explain well!_ Tell me why you would give a present with _your initials_ blatantly standing out? __ This present didn't just land here on the _very same day_ I start working with Kyle for absolutely no reason, did it?" I was seething. If it were possible to have steam coming out of my ears, the room would have been muggy.

"Poppet, calm down. I wanted you to wear something that's from me. I commissioned it a day before you told me about your job. Is it possible that I want Kyle to stay back? Yes, I do. Do you ever plan on telling him?" his placid tone irked me somehow.

"I'll tell him, but not yet. It's too early for him. He barely just got here. I'm not going to risk the possibility of him spiraling out of control again." Why was he pushing the issue? I would tell Kyle in a month or so... _I think_.

"It's too early for him or _for you,_ Sienna?" I stopped breathing from his tone of voice; he was controlling his own anger, though only barely. There was some noise in the background. "Mi amor, we have to go soon or we'll be late!" the accented voice of a woman spoke in the background. I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?" I yelled when I heard him speak to the woman, but I couldn't make out what was being said. My eyes started to water. _Was he cheating on me?_

"Oh, so now you pay rapt attention to me. I see how this is going, Sienna."

"Blake, are you seeing someone else? You have to tell me!" My voice cracked in pain.

"Why? So you can go back to Matthews again? Do as you wish, Sienna. I have to be somewhere important. I'll speak to you later." He hung up without even saying goodbye.

Less than an hour before, I had been basking in Blake's sweet sentiments. How the heck had it unfolded like this? Okay, maybe I had over-reacted a little bit there. I shrugged it off. There was no point dwelling and crying. I had to meet Kyle in three hours and start work. I'd just have to busy myself and not think of Blake for the moment. I would deal with my emotions later.

In a little over an hour, I was ready to go and still had an hour and half to kill. I went to my drawer and pulled out the card and key Marie had given me. I'd just surprise Kyle with my punctuality.

Since we were checking out rock bands, I had to look the part... well sort of. I let my hair down, put on heavy eyeliner winged at both corners, lots of mascara and rose pink lipstick. I chose a hot pink, Hervé Léger bandage top, leaving my back purely bare, and black-fitted jeans that accentuated my butt nicely with hot-pink suede pumps.

I made a last jaunt to the full-length mirror to assess everything and, suffice to say, I looked pretty hot.

_Suck it, Blake!_

Placing all the essentials in my black clutch, I headed out the door.

# Chapter Eighty

I let out a slow whistle when the cab dropped me off at the address I'd given him. When Marie said "company apartment" I thought of an actual apartment, not a gated Victorian home.

I took out the card Marie gave me and punched in the code on the keypad attached to the wall. I heard a little metal screech and the gate opened slowly. _Was Kyle even home?_ I had acted out of impulse and had totally forgotten to call to see if he was there or not.

When I got a little closer to the door, I heard loud music streaming from the window upstairs. Jeff Buckley, yep, he was home.

Fishing out the spare key, I opened the door. The home was decorated in black, white and silver splendor and the effect was gorgeous—a little cold—but still chic and gorgeous. I found the stairs on the left side corner and went to go hunt down Kyle. The music came from the room at the end of the hall that I assumed was the master bedroom.

I stopped outside the black door and knocked, but no one answered. Clearing my throat loudly, I let myself in. The room was decorated in baroque contemporary with accents of sapphire-colored designs. My eyes landed on the table next to where Kyle slept. My breath caught when I picked up a nine by twelve picture of us. The picture was taken a year ago. We were at Zuma beach watching the sunset. I sat in between his legs and took a bunch of shots. I was looking straight into the camera as he kissed me, smiling. What bothered me was the fact that I was glowing with such happiness; it was the look of love. I placed it back slowly as I jumped from my name being called out.

"Sienna?"

I turned around and was shocked. Kyle had beads of water dripping down his body with only a black towel draping his lower half.

_Oh! Fuck. Me._

_Shit! Why, oh why did I put myself in this position?_ My heart thudded like mad as the memories of that night in Santa Monica flashed through my mind. I stood there, frozen, and couldn't utter a damn word.

"Can I just say that top does your back incredible justice? You look so hot! I have my work cut out for me tonight if the musicians start clawing you, baby." He strolled to where I stood and his freshly showered smell engulfed my senses.

"I had time to kill so I decided to stop by and use the key your mom gave me. I hope that's okay?" I mumbled distractedly.

"Baby, you're not serious! Of course it's okay; we're practically family." _What did he mean by that? Was it because we grew up together or because we agreed to get married at the age of twenty-seven?_ "I've never seen you with this much eyeliner, but it looks good on you; very edgy and downright sexy as hell."

"Would it be too much to ask if you could put some clothes on?" I asked as I stared at his bright hazel eyes.

"Too many memories for you, baby?" I shook my head. "We both know you're lying, though I'm going to let that slide."

"Thanks. What's with the picture frame? Why did you bring it here?" His eyes darkened as he leaned closer, his mouth against my ear. His chest was pushed against mine.

"Because we were happy. Because we were so in love and the thought of losing you left a big hole in my heart. I needed a constant reminder—something to believe in—that we're going to get back together. We were extremely happy and perfect for each other. It'll dawn on you someday that you are meant to be with me... and, when that time comes, I'll be here... waiting for you." His eyes had a little moisture in them. _Oh, Kyle._ _Please don't do this. Not tonight._ I wiped the corners of his eyes and he smiled widely. "Did I tell you how much I love you today?" _Am I forever doomed to be pulled back and forth?_

"Kyle, you know how I feel about this. I already told you, please, seeing you like this... tears me up inside. It was so much easier when you had Brooke. I didn't have to dwell on it much."

"I know, baby. No worries, as I said, I love you and I'll wait. However long it takes until you want me back."

_Jesus, this has got to stop._ "What if that never happens? What then?"

"I know what I want. I'll take my chances."

"Whatever."

He gave me a quick kiss and left to go change.

# ~S~

The venue was on Chalk Farm Road and Kyle ushered me in with a tight grip on my waist to an empty booth. As soon as we sat down, he excused himself to go to the bar to order some drinks. I guess part of the job was drinking, having fun and skillful negotiating abilities.

I hoped his binge drinking days wouldn't affect him being around alcohol and drugs. The music industry was famous for that.

After that dreadful scene in his bedroom, he acted like nothing happened and I silently thanked him. We ended up ordering pizza and discussed the band that was playing. The Cold Conflict was the band's name. We listened to their recorded songs earlier and I was impressed. They sounded like Lifehouse and Jeff Buckley put together and I was actually super excited to see them play. _How great is this job?_ Kyle was going to talk to them after their set and hopefully sign them on at the end of the night.

The place was starting to get packed when we arrived. I guess the band was going on very soon. I checked my phone and was surprised I had five missed calls from Blake. _Call him back or ignore? Do I really want to spend the next few hours wondering?_

Pressing the call button, the other end started to ring. The place was starting to get noisy so I had to duck a little bit lower. I didn't want to go outside since I was technically working and I didn't want to take advantage of the fact that Kyle probably wouldn't mind if I did take the call outside.

"Sienna, thank you for calling me back! I got worried when you didn't pick up my calls." The relief was evident in his voice and my stomach got the usual flip-flop from hearing it.

"Yeah, um... do you mind if we talk later? It's getting really noisy in here."

Of course, Kyle's timing was perfect as he slid into the booth and glued himself next to me. "Who are you talking to, baby?" he yelled against my ear, loud enough for Blake to hear. The violent growl I heard at the other end of the phone made me flinch.

_Fuck-fuckity-fuck._

"Baby, who's that?"

I gave Kyle a death stare. "I'm talking to Blake."

"Tell him I said hi. TCC will be on shortly; you should call him back later when we're done," he shouted over the growing noise.

" _Sienna, if you hang up_ IT'S OVER!" Blake said with a snarl, but it cracked at the end.

_Is he going to be this jealous all the time? We've been fighting non-stop._

"Listen, Blake, I'll speak to you later, okay? The band's about to start. Bye." I ended the call without hearing his reply because I might have cracked from the pain it would have caused me.

TCC started to set-up. They were tuning and adjusting their instruments. The front man introduced himself as Will and thanked everyone for coming out before they started playing. After a couple of songs, my phone vibrated.

_Message received from Blake Knightly,_ it said.

I opened the text and a picture downloaded. It was a picture of a beautiful woman. She had ebony hair and arched brows, creamy skin and striking blue eyes with a complimenting, seductive smile. Her pose was purely inviting to the person taking the picture; Blake. She had a red silk gown on that flaunted her boobs. The formal outdoor setting in the background suggested that they were at an event.

_Who is this woman? Did she work for him?_ My hands shook violently as I read the message attached at the bottom.

Blake: _I guess we can both have fun tonight. How about it, Sienna? She already said yes. She's always willing and eager to be serviced by the boss._

_No, no, no, no, no._ My head spun. I felt sick.

I excused myself from Kyle who was giving his undivided attention to the band. He asked where I was going and I pointed at the restroom sign.

The bathroom was empty. I stood in front of the mirror for ten minutes just staring at my reflection. My mouth wobbled, yet I did not and would not cry. The message tore me to pieces, but I had the rest of the night to hold it together. If he wanted to fuck another woman, then I couldn't stop him.

_Good riddance, over-indulgent playboy!_

A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me. Funny how it was just that morning he said he worshipped me in that damn card. I clasped my hands on the sink, my head bowed. I chanted in my head:

_Breathe. Clear your head. Focus._

_Breathe. Clear your head. Focus._

_Breathe. Clear your head. Focus._

After twenty minutes in the bathroom, I decided to go back to the table before Kyle started looking for me. When he saw me, he gave me a thumbs-up and I smiled at him. The first set ended and Kyle gestured that he'd go meet the band and bring them around to the table.

I smiled at the platinum Patron sitting on the table. Bless the man who still knew my drink! I poured myself a double shot and cringed lovingly when I sucked the lemon slice.

_Work face on,_ I commanded myself to function. _Smile. They're heading over._

It was a difficult thing to do, especially when my heart was breaking, but this was work. Not only would it be unprofessional of me to break down and cry, it would also reflect badly on Kyle.

Yeah, it was horrible, but that was life.

# Chapter Eighty-One

The band consisted of five rowdy men. They introduced themselves as Spike, Roger, Brandon, AJ and Will. Will immediately slid next to me and AJ on the other side, the rest filled in, leaving Kyle sitting on the right end.

The guys were fun to be around and, in the span of five minutes, we were all sharing jokes and laughing out loud. Everyone helped themselves to the drinks on the table. After Kyle noticed they were settling in, he shifted the conversation to business. He broke down the benefits of signing with them and the advantages and opportunities M.A.T.T. Music could provide. The guys each had their own sets of questions and Kyle responded to each one with great detail. Kyle was pretty amazing in action. I didn't know why it never occurred to me to follow him around when he worked back in LA.

"So, Sienna, where do you come into the picture?" Will suggestively asked.

"I'll be helping with correspondence between your lawyers and managers and confirming bookings for gigs and shows... the usual lot."

"I like that! I like knowing that we have you on the team," he said, winking at me.

_What's with men and their constant flirting, seriously?_

"Hey! We're up for the second set in five," AJ, who had thick eyeliner on, announced to the group. They grumbled and slid off the booth.

"Save a dance for me later?" Will asked in a hushed tone.

"Sure," I murmured.

Will winked at me before he took over the microphone.

"Did he just wink at you?" Kyle's disbelieving face made me laugh.

"I don't advise mixing business with pleasure, Sienna." _Yes, sir!_

"I won't. No need to worry about that."

My purse taunted me, but I wasn't going to check it, just in case there were more pictures waiting to be opened.

I poured myself a couple more shots before TCC ended their second set. Everyone applauded and hollered at them. They were pretty great.

The music changed into upbeat dance music and people started to fill the tiny space that was the dance floor. Will came over immediately after exiting the stage and we both agreed we'd take a shot before dancing.

Dancing with him was lively and entertaining. I was having so much fun that we ended up dancing to three songs. When we got back to the table, the men agreed to sign, but needed their manager to speak to Kyle about money. Kyle was ecstatic and promised to call their manager the next morning and hopefully, by Monday, the contract would be drafted if all went according to plan.

With business out of the way, everyone relaxed. Kyle excused both of us with the reason of "work" and needing to talk outside.

My lungs happily welcomed the fresh air. I was tipsy and buzzing quite nicely, just what I needed.

Kyle pulled me to the other side of the building that had fewer people chatting and hanging about. "You okay, baby?" He caressed my cheek softly.

"Yep, I'm stupendous!" He pulled my body closer to him and his warmth felt comforting.

_You've really lost your marbles._ I closed my eyes, feeling the hot, coursing effect of the alcohol in my body.

_Blake. Blake. Blake._

My mind was fighting the images of Blake and the woman flashing in my head.

Kyle captured my mouth softly. His kiss was gentle and not fevered or demanding like Blake's. I sighed softly as Kyle's smell penetrated my nostrils. It reminded me of high school, the beach and yesteryears.

He closed in on me and pushed me gently against the wall. He cupped my breast and squeezed it. That instantly made me snap my eyes open. _Don't do this to yourself. Walk away before it gets messier._

_Think. Brain. Think._

I placed a hand on Kyle's chest. "I can't do this with you right now. I'm sorry. We'll talk about it soon, but not tonight."

"Does it have anything to do with Blake?" he hissed. He was grinding his teeth so loudly it made me cringe.

"Possibly. I'll call you, okay? I'm going to go home. I don't feel too well."

I kissed him on the cheek before he pulled me to him, gave me a tight hug and told me again how much he loved me. He wanted to get me a cab, but I convinced him I needed a minute or two to clear my head. He finally agreed and went back inside where TCC was waiting for him to party with them.

Leaning against the building, I closed my eyes. _How about I just go home and wallow? Maybe I can drink myself to sleep then I wouldn't have to think at all._

"Sienna, is that you? It _is_ you; what's wrong? Did that man do something to get you upset?" My eyes flickered to life, looking for the owner of that voice. It didn't sound familiar to me.

"It's Troy, from Chad's photo shoot Thursday." Oh, yeah.

"Hey! Fancy seeing you here! And no that man didn't get me upset, there's just so much going on with life, that's all." I looked down and studied my black lacquered nails.

"Let's get you some good food then you can spill your problems, deal?"

Boy, that made me smile. "You're crazy! Go back to your friends, Troy."

"I'm not leaving you when you're sad. Let's walk to the place. It's only a couple of blocks and you can make a decision then if you want to go in or not. How's that sound?"

"Okay, deal." _He doesn't even know me and yet he's willing to listen to my problems? That's odd and unexpectedly very sweet of him._

We were both consumed with our own thoughts as we walked. He stopped outside a pub, hands in his pockets. "What's it going to be, Sienna?

"What the hell. I don't want go home this early anyway."

We ordered hamburger sliders, fish and chips, beer for him and a margarita for me. I didn't realize how hungry I was until after the food was set on the table. We talked, ate a bit, drank some and talked some more.

I learned that he was recently divorced; six months ago. His wife cheated and he caught them in action in their marital home. _He's probably still hurting, too. Being cheated on can be traumatizing; not to mention the big dent something like that puts in your ego and self-esteem._

Since he spilled his own secrets, I spilled mine. I gave him the cutout edition of Kyle cheating, Blake sweeping in, Kyle moving, Blake going ballistic and the beat went on.

"Do what makes you happy, Sienna. No one knows what that is except you."

"I know." I smiled, nudging him lightly on the arm.

Before I knew it, the time was hitting half past one. He insisted on taking me home since I had drunk three more margaritas.

We took a cab back to my flat. He asked the driver to wait for a few minutes. He insisted that he see me to my apartment door, not the building entrance. We rode the elevator silently and I checked him out for the first time that night. He was wearing a leather jacket with jeans and he was very good-looking. Why did his wife have to screw around? He was one of the good guys.

Stepping out the elevator, we stopped outside my door as I fished for my keys. "Thank you for tonight. You really made my night. When you're feeling down and out, I'll take you out for beer, fish and chips and sliders to make you feel better." He chuckled softly.

I slid the key in the lock and opened the door. He handed me his phone.

"Program your digits, in case I take you up on that offer."

I stifled a laugh as I punched my information in. I put my name down as 'Sexiness is Sienna' and we both laughed when he saw what I did.

He kissed my cheek softly and left.

# Chapter Eighty-Two

My throat was dry and I was absolutely parched, the wonderful effects of alcohol. _Oh heck!_ It was dark and I was too drunk to flick the switch.

_Water. I need water._ I staggered to the kitchen and poured myself a tall glass of agua. My phone vibrated. _Oh, hell_. I went to flick the light switch in the kitchen as I located my phone.

Kyle.

Grudgingly, I took the call. "Hello?"

"Did you get home safe? Why did it take you this long to pick up?"

Honestly, I was not in the mood to explain anything. "Sorry to make you worry, buster, but I just got home."

"What, just _right now?_ Where the heck have you been?"

"Out with a friend. Listen, I'll call you tomorrow. Sleep. Going to sleep now. Peace," I mumbled.

_Who explains when they're drunk, anyway? Hangover's going to be a bee-otch tomorrow._

I swallowed the rest of my water and slammed the glass down on the counter.

"Having the time of your life?" A deep voice came from somewhere in the blackened section of the living room.

I jumped, shrieking as the shadow came out of the darkened room.

Blake.

_Oh, for the love of God!_ Did he have to come here wearing his tux? He looked like what dreams were made of... and that woman had probably enjoyed him quite thoroughly, too. The thought made me want to puke.

"For crying out loud, what is it with you brooding and scaring people out of their wits? How long have you been waiting?"

"I've been here for about three hours waiting for you to get home. Who was the man outside the door? He's British, certainly not Matthews," said the observant man.

_Where does he get the nerve to just barge in here after what he put me through before?_

"None of your business," I said deadpanned and turned to flee, wanting the security of my room. Blake yanked me back by my arm and cornered me at the kitchen counter. _Oh my, he smells extra delicious tonight._ My drunken body was already betraying me. _Fuckin' A!_

"What the hell are you wearing? Do you see how bare your back _is_?"

"WHO CARES ANYMORE? Go back to where you came from and LEAVE ME ALONE," I screeched at him while trying to free my arm from his titanium-like hold.

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? Go back to that wretched woman in the picture you sent me. Go fuck each other's brains out until you both can't walk anymore. _I. Don't. Care!_ "

"What did you _do_ with that man, Sienna?" I stared him down, not willing to answer his question. "Fucking answer me!"

I kept still. I wasn't going to. That picture and message he'd sent earlier wreaked havoc in my thoughts. Images of him kissing her and touching her body the way he did mine caused my stomach to free-fall.

_I'm too drunk to be doing this._

I was so drained from all the drama that was disrupting my life and my sanity teetered at the edge of a cliff.

When I tried to pull my hand away again, he let me go. I sprinted to my room and sat on the bed, slightly shaken. _Why did he have to show up here? To continue this farce after he slept with someone else?_ My lips wobbled. I bit them—hard—until I tasted blood.

I felt him watching me from the doorway. He was at the foot of my bed in a few strides, lowering himself and sitting on his heels. He placed his hands on my knees.

I was speechless as I watched the man, shivering.

" _Please..._ " Blake whispered. His voice heavy, anguished. With one word, all of my erected barriers fell apart.

My mind boggled with everything that happened. "Explain that message."

If it were another man, I would've just shut the door on his face. He never failed to get under my skin, past my defenses. He knocked them down until I was barefaced and unmasked.

"That was immature; I admit that. It was wrong of me to inflict the kind of pain you associate with your ex, but I couldn't stop the thoughts of you with him. When I heard his voice in the background; it pulled the trigger. I was livid, delirious, unhinged with anger. I slept with Amelia a few months ago—" My heart _literally_ stopped beating. _Oh, no. Don't do this to me_. I tried to move, but he was like steel, holding me in place. I was stuck facing him. "I haven't touched another woman since you became mine. _I swear on my dead parents,_ I would never— _ever_ —do that to you. You make me so happy; I get paranoid thinking that I'll lose you to someone else. It's terrifying. Forgive my offenses, my weaknesses, my failings, my flaws. I only want to be with you."

I jerked his arm and lightly shook him. "Promise me, you won't hurt me that way again. I don't think I can get past it and forgive you if you do." He got up and sat next to me and pulled me in his lap, cradling my body.

"I give you my word. I promise it won't happen again. Today's been hell and I couldn't go through it anymore without seeing you. I left the event an hour after I got there and flew straight to you. I'm glad that I did. I'm sorry, poppet..." I placed my hands on the back of his skull and pulled his lips to mine.

The boiling, fevered kisses that I had yearned for so many days turned into reality; and boy, were they better. I'd never hungered for any other man like that. His kiss lit me on fire. My body couldn't get enough of him. I shifted, straddling his hips and rubbing myself on him as our kisses became violent and uncontrollable.

_Blake... show me... need me... love me..._ my thoughts spun as we groaned together. He ground my hips tightly against his. My body was freefalling into the abyss as his hands became urgent. I wrenched my hands from the back of his head and tugged the ends of my fitted bandage top.

"I want... more..." I didn't know what I meant by that, my emotions were all over the place. _Since when did I want more?_

We took off our clothes in haste until we were skin to skin. Every touch made me weaken. He circled my waist and lowered me on the sheets, his body covering mine. The room was dark, but the streaks of light through the windows showed enough for me to clearly see his body.

Our faces were inches apart as we stared at each other. By the way we were looking at one another, one could tell there was something going on. I couldn't speak. I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth and I didn't think I was ready to commit myself that quickly, but at the same time, I couldn't seem to control how I reacted to him.

_I can't fall for him. It will end me._ However I had; I loved him already, and I needed to __ stop denying it _._ My thoughts rammed into realization. _I love him and I didn't even know I was falling in love._

His impassioned eyes zeroed in on mine.

_Fuck! Don't let him see it. Please._

"Sienna..." Blake said in a husky voice. What bothered me was how he said my name; it was loaded with meaning.

He kissed me slowly and passionately. Gone was the man who wanted me with wild abandon. Gone was the man who handled me roughly like a savage animal that couldn't survive if he didn't get inside me any sooner. The man that night was soft and gentle. His fevered kisses remained intense but were soft, unguarded. He kissed my body with thorough tenderness and when his tongue touched my slick folds, his eyes never left my face as I came apart in his mouth. He took his time as he kissed my stomach and slowly made his way to my breasts—fondling, sucking, and biting.

With his body ensconced over mine, he kissed me with pure yearning and honesty. My mind shut down and I let my body speak to him as I linked my arms around his neck, my legs hooking behind his back, drawing his body closer.

He broke off the kiss. Our eyes fixated on each other. His drew me in and I couldn't look away as I felt his cock gently hover over my opening. He never looked away as he coaxed himself gently inside me. He watched me gasp as he filled me to my core, kissing me tenderly as he slipped in and out of me with unhurried focus.

_He's making love to me_. My eyes burned as I got choked up with emotion.

_Blake... I love you..._ I whispered in my head.

I was kissing him lovingly, baring my soul to him. My hands held his ass cheeks, my nails digging into his skin. He went deeper and I moaned against his lips. His pace started to increase as I lifted my hips, meeting his thrusts. He pulled away from my kisses as his eyes bore into me, watching my frenzied response to him as he took my body to another level of ecstasy.

I was panting and running out of breath. I felt my stomach tightening and clenching, readying for an orgasm. His body started to tense as he began a swifter pace. His teeth found my neck and bit it. I yelled out his name as my orgasm rocked my body off its foundation. His heavy breathing was hot on my ear as his hands gripped my hips, grounding them into place as his body demanded its own release. He said my name with a guttural growl deep in his throat as his body tensed. I felt his cock twitch and then the gush of his semen filled me. His lips found mine again and kissed me tenderly—my heart contracted. He pulled out of me and gathered me close to him. I was spent and exhausted from the intense lovemaking.

My breathing started to even out and my eyes fluttered closed. His heartbeat was beating wildly against my back as he tightened his hold on me, kissing the back of my neck. "I love you," he whispered against my ear.

I squeezed my eyes tighter. _I love you, too..._

His bare admission tore my insides. I evened out my breathing, pretending I was asleep.

# ~S~

I woke up with a start when I felt the cold air hit my back. I rolled to the other side, reaching for him. I hugged his body from behind. I nuzzled the back of his neck, inhaling his scent like a starved woman. _I love him..._

My hand trailed over his broad shoulders and down to his abdomen. The ridges of his six-pack, toned abs teased my fingers. My hand moved lower and found his semi-hard manhood. _Damn, even asleep his cock is huge._ I stroked him gently as it started to come to life from my hasty ministrations.

I smiled. _Well, hello, bad boy._

I gently turned him on his back as a soft sigh came from his lips, he was obviously still asleep. I smiled devilishly as I stared at his glorious body. _I want him... and I'll be damned if I have to wait for him... my aroused state can't wait for him any longer._

I took him in my mouth, teasing him with my tongue and, at the same time, bringing it to the back of my throat with determined suction. He moaned. I sucked him until his cock was rigid with throbbing need. I moved my body so that I was over his hips and straddled him, guiding his cock with my hand and coaxing it slowly inside me. I moaned with satisfaction, _my God, he feels so good_. I recoiled slowly as my insides adjusted to his size. The position made the filling penetration mind-blowing and grippingly intense. I moved slowly at first, my stomach quivering from the intensified strokes of his hardness inside me.

My palm sat on his chest to balance me as the other cupped my breast. The heightened carnal intensity drove me to ride him harder. I felt his hand pinch my nipples and I growled with delight.

"Take what's yours, my love," Blake ordered, husky and aroused after my ministrations, making me even more crazed and hungry.

_I want it all._

Leaning back and placing my hands on his thighs, I rode his cock with fervent need. My mind shut down as my body convulsed around him. I yelped out his name softly as I recovered from my climax. He held me down as he came.

Lifting my head off his chest, I stared at his delighted face. "Fuck, that was amazing. You're one hell of rider, poppet."

I laughed huskily as lay down next to him and nuzzled the crook of his neck. "You're welcome."

"I thought I had died and gone to Heaven when I woke up to you moaning with your eyes closed, enjoying my cock for your own greedy pleasure."

"I can't seem to get enough of you... I don't think I ever will," I admitted softly against his neck, my eyes heavy with exhaustion.

"As do I, my love, as do I," his sleepy voice murmured.

# Chapter Eighty-Three

It had been almost five weeks since I last saw Blake, but we kept each other updated with everything. I was soaring high because our relationship was growing steadily and I loved him a little bit more every single day. I hadn't told him how I felt. I wasn't ready for that yet. It would be hard to take it back once I told him and I didn't want it to be held against me.

The morning after Blake left for New York, I met up with Chad and Troy for the shoot. It lasted around five hours, and even though I was only wearing skimpy underwear, Troy made me feel at ease as we laughed and joked around. Though there were times in the shoot where his eyes became stormy when I draped my body over his or when he groaned as my nipples touched his chest. He was hot, to be sure; who wouldn't be attracted to an extremely hot man like him? But I didn't let it bother me because I knew, deep down, there was only one man I wanted.

I eased Blake's doubt by wearing his bracelet and convincing him that I didn't want anyone else. Kyle warily eyed the bracelet but never asked about it. He knew I was dating Blake and I was grateful that he never asked and didn't push the issue. Our friendship strengthened over the weeks and I felt like we were almost back to where we were before. Almost.

I hadn't seen Chad since the last shoot. He'd been busy preparing for his show. My time was consumed with school and working with Kyle. Luce and I barely caught up with our lives since school demanded a lot of her time with projects and applying for internships.

That day, Blake was coming in from New York and I couldn't wait to see him. He was scheduled to arrive late in the afternoon so we'd see each other at Chad's exhibition on King's Road. I'd primed my body for the long awaited reunion and I couldn't wait to get him alone. I'd been scouring the shops for a perfect dress for the last week. I hoped I got the reaction I was aiming for.

My hair was in a high ponytail. I applied make-up carefully with light eye shadow and thick eyeliner winged on both ends. I then swiped two coats of mascara on both my upper and lower lashes, making my eyes look a fiery, piercing golden green. I highlighted my cheeks with bronzer and finished it with candy pink colored lipstick, dabbing lip-gloss on my bottom lip and puckering to get the full effect.

I went over to my bed and took the nude, designer bandage dress that fit my body like a glove, leaving little to the imagination. It was short, maybe a few inches below my butt and the top part pushed my breasts up, giving me a hefty amount of cleavage. I slipped on my nude designer Rolando pumps and skimmed over my appearance in the full-length mirror _. I look good_ , I thought as I admired how the dress showed off and complimented my figure. I wanted Blake's eyes to pop out of their sockets when he got a glimpse of me.

There was a soft knock at the door indicating Kyle's presence. Grabbing my clutch purse, I headed out to meet him.

"Coming," I called out as I closed the door behind me.

His face looked dumbstruck as he stared at me. I smirked as his eyes took me in. _Hopefully, I will get that same reaction from Blake._ "Goddamn, baby. You look like a piece of Heaven."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the elevator. "Let's get moving, lover boy; I don't want to be late or Chad will cook us for dinner."

We were five minutes away from King's Road as the cab weaved through the traffic. I fidgeted uneasily in my seat. _Which images did Chad choose?_ He would have fifty portraits up for display, but said he needed twelve from our shoot and the rest was filled with his other models. _What if they look stupid and awkward?_

I grunted my frustrations. Kyle reached out for my hand, clasped it with his and placed it on his lap. "Baby, it's going to be fine. You're worrying for nothing," he assured, smiling brightly as he kissed my hand. The cab stopped outside the gallery.

My heart was in my throat and I was anxious to see the images Chad chose.

We entered the building and a uniformed waiter with champagne flutes greeted us. I took two flutes and gulped them, one after the other, like they were water _. Okay, now I'm better_. Kyle shook his head in amusement.

I looked around me and saw Chad's perfect artistry at its best. _Wow, that friend of mine is hella gifted_. One of the images was of a woman at the repair shop as she posed provocatively, bare-naked. Another was of a man and a woman on the hood of the car making love in a cemetery. My eyes took in the portraits. An image of a woman holding a guitar looked captivating. Another image was of a woman with two men posing illicitly against each other, but it was done in a way that provoked sexual thoughts and yet, pulled off the look of making it chic. I passed by them, feeling all hot and bothered as people gathered in admiration.

It was sex, sex and more sex.

Sex blanketed the whole gallery as people buzzed about Chad's eye for beauty. As provocative as they were, he made the images look sophisticated somehow and not raunchy. He managed to capture that essence of the moment where you feel like you're there with them and you're watching them in the act. It was beautiful.

"Baby love, finally, you're here! What do you think?" He was eyeing me cautiously, gauging my reaction.

"Chad, you're a genius! These are quite amazing! Tonight's your big break, baby! You had better not forget me when you go global." I hugged him tightly as my heart soared for him. I knew how long he'd been waiting for someone to acknowledge his work and after that night, he'd be the toast of London.

"As if! There's no way a person can forget you, baby love. You have a way of making people remember you."

_Do I? Huh._

Smiling, I hugged his waist. "Who's all here? Luce and Toby?"

"She texted me a few minutes ago. She said they'd be here in ten to fifteen minutes, tops."

The gallery was filling up with a lot of artsy people. _Where are the portraits of me and Troy?_ I looked around for Kyle, but he was nowhere in sight.

"If you're looking for Kyle, he's at the encore of the show. Come, I'll show you." Holding my elbow with his hand, he guided me toward the end of the room and made a quick left. He showed me to another room, which was dimmer and darker. The only lighting came from the ceiling directly above each of the twelve portraits of Troy and me. My breath caught.

The images were impressively stunning. The woman in the picture was seductive, confident and in-charge of her world. I was rendered speechless.

Chad placed an arm around my shoulders. "Now do you see what everybody else sees, baby love? Never let the past dictate you. Don't berate yourself because you aren't tall enough or you don't have a slimmer figure. You're beautiful, _inside and out, scars and all_. I wanted these images to capture how I see you—how we all see you—so that you'll realize how special you are. You're a strong woman, love, no matter what life throws at you, you always come out braver than before. It's time to be free of the shackles because if you don't, the Browns win. _Look around you. This woman is bold and fearless._ "

I got choked up as I turned my body and hugged him with all of my heart. "Thank you," I whispered in a wobbly voice. He was such a good friend and I would always remember what he had done for me. I would never forget it.

"That's what friends are for. _Let's not ruin our make-up, hmmm?_ Go over to Kyle." He pointed to the far right corner. "I have to greet my other guests in the other room."

I nodded and whispered "I love you" as he kissed my forehead and whispered the same words back to me.

I went over to where Kyle was standing and staring intently at my image. I was on the bed with underwear on and my boobs were covered with only a drape of a black silk sheet. One leg was on the bed with the other leg slightly bent above it. Both of my arms were above my head, lips parted, as I stared provocatively at the camera. _Oh, that looks hot_!

Kyle was silent as he took in the image. I didn't say a word because he had a pained expression. _Odd, not the impression I would've thought it would provoke._

"That morning in Lake Tahoe, you looked exactly like this when I came out of the shower and I thought to myself, _how lucky am I?_ _I have a gorgeous woman who loves me to bits._ I felt blessed. Seeing this portrait makes me see what I had lost again."

Fuck, I didn't expect him to say that. That was the morning after we had made love for the first time. I remembered seeing him coming out of the shower and my heart had happily swelled at the sight of him.

_Fuck-fuckity-fuck._

The night was becoming an upheaval of emotions. Kyle's, I could do without. __ I felt shaky inside and I didn't know what to say to him, so I stayed quiet.

A squeal broke from another room. I smiled at Lucy's enthusiasm. I kindly excused myself to meet Lucy in the other room and he smiled sadly at me. _Fuck, Kyle. Don't do this to me_ , my eyes pleaded.

I gulped some air after I left the room. I found Luce and Toby talking animatedly with Chad. I went over to join them and we all gushed over Chad. He looked so happy and my heart contracted seeing him like that. A few people came over to get him, wanting to introduce him to some other guests. All three of us went to check out some other portraits. I chuckled throatily as I found Lucy's face flushed from the images before her.

"Sienna Richards," a booming, deep voice behind me announced. I turned and found Troy smiling elatedly.

"Troy! How are you?" I squealed from surprise. I hadn't seen him for a month and I was excited. I gave him a tight hug.

"Are you trying to give me a cardiac arrest? 'Cause you're about to accomplish that if you come any closer with that miniscule dress on." I reddened. _Holy guacamole! Was he flirting with me? That's a first._

"Cheeky tonight, aren't we?" I jested back at the handsome hunk of a man.

His gaze fell on Lucy and Toby who were watching the exchange with interest. "Hello, I'm Troy. Sienna's counterpart in the shoot." They all shook hands and Luce smiled brightly at the sight of him.

Troy looked like his usual hot self, scruffy and rugged with his well-worn jeans and black leather jacket. He had a tad bit of extra dangerous edge when he puts his hair in that tiny ponytail. _He's such a badass._ One time he arrived at Chad's on a Ducati 848, black on black motorcycle. I swooned then. _Hot_ guy and a _hot_ piece of motorcycle; totally too _HOT_ to handle!

When Toby and Troy started talking about football, Luce whispered in my ear. "He's quite a hot hunk, Sienna! He seems _too keen_ on you. Just be careful. Blake might not be too happy about that. You know how he gets." _Yes, I do know, but he has nothing to worry about. I love him... but he doesn't know that... yet._

"So, where are these infamous portraits of yours?" Toby asked and I pointed them to the other adjacent room. When they left, Troy moved closer with a smile that made his eyes dance. _Hmmm, what's he up to now?_

Amused, I had to ask, "What?"

Troy shook his head. "Your pictures were really great. Chad managed to capture your vulnerability and your sass at the same time. I actually asked him to print and send me all twelve portraits, in a smaller scale of course." _Get out of here! No way!_

"Why would you do that? You liked 'em that much?"

"You just sizzled and besides, we looked good together. The chemistry was palpable in those pictures," Troy said, looking me straight in the eye. My mouth ran dry. _No shit._ I remembered during the shoot, I would tremble from his extra close proximity. Or a moan would escape me when his breath reached my ear or when his chest grazed my nipples.

A waiter passed by and I turned around to get a flute of champagne. Sipping the champagne soothed my scattered nerves.

My back was turned to Troy. He came up behind me, almost touching, but not. I felt the heat of his body as his hot breath touched my ear. My eyes were glued to the champagne flute in my hand as his voice filtered through the music being played. "I want to see more of you. Think about it. You know my number." With that neck hair-raising encounter, Troy parted and joined his friends who gathered close to the entrance where there was a lounge area.

I blinked a few times. _What just happened? Did he just ask me out?_

_No shit, Sherlock._

Draining my drink, I went to look for my friends when a dark figure across the room stopped me in my tracks. I went over to him, but my excitement halted when I saw his scowl. "You came!" I stammered.

"Yes, I was invited if it escaped your notice." I deserved his cold treatment, but it didn't help lessen the pain that gnawed at my heart.

I went closer, cradling the sides of his face and kissing his beautiful, sexy mouth for a good minute and released him. _Ouch, he barely opened his mouth._ "You have no idea how much I've missed you," I told the man who had me on tenterhooks as I took in how handsome he looked in a dark grey suit. He thawed a little bit, just a _wee_ bit.

"Blake! Good to finally see you emerge from your tycoon lifestyle!"

"I wouldn't miss your debut, Chad. You should know better."

Touched by Blake's support for him, Chad held his hand close to his heart. "Thank you. You don't know how much your support means to me. Lover, would it be okay if I steal your girlfriend for a second? There's a bunch of people who want to meet her."

"Of course, as long as you don't let her out of your sight. Men are eyeing her like vultures ready to pounce." _Damn. Way to go, Blake._

Blake asked where my portraits were and Chad pointed to the room as he guided me to a group of artsy people chatting. They were painters and photographers, some independent and some who worked with famous magazines and celebrity portraits. It was an impressive group and I enjoyed our conversation. They wanted to know if I would model for them. I kindly told them that I'd think about it. After spending a good fifteen minutes with them, I excused myself to find Blake. I passed Lucy and Toby who were talking to another couple. Toby smiled, but Luce stopped me. "What's up?" I asked her.

"Blake and Kyle are having words. You should rush before they rip each other's heads off."

I was about to turn left when an angry looking Kyle sprinted by, almost knocking me over. "Baby, you okay? I didn't see you. I'm sorry." I held his arm as I looked at him questioningly. "I'm leaving. The show was great. You looked amazing, baby. See you Monday at the office, okay?" He gave my lips a peck and sprinted toward Chad.

I entered the dimly lit room and found Blake standing in the center of it, eyes staring blankly at a portrait of Troy and me. "Blake?" I touched his arm lightly. He took a hold of my arm and linked it to his, lightly tugging me, making me follow him out of the room. _Don't panic. We'll work it out._ _He said he loved me. He did, didn't he? So, why hasn't he said it again?_

Instead of turning right to go back to the main room, he kept going forward to where I presumed the offices were located. He dragged me to the last one on the right. Opening the door, he flicked the switch, closed the door and locked it. It was a decent sized office with a big desk and a leather couch sitting across from it with a coffee table that had magazines splayed neatly across the top of it.

I turned around to face him and saw he was leaning against the gray door, eyes closed, hands in his pocket and his nose flaring; a clear indicator that he was furious with me. _The portraits, of course_. I didn't want to argue about that. _I did it for Chad and I don't give a hoot if he's mad about it. I love him... I do, but he just can't bulldoze his way around me_.

"Sienna, this is not how I pictured my reunion with you after almost six weeks of not seeing each other. I'm being rotten, _I know_ , but I'm being eaten alive with jealousy. I can't think or breathe without pain. Was that the man who took you home the same night when you started working for Kyle?"

"Yes..." I admitted in a soft whisper.

"Did anything happen with you and this man? _Anything_ at all?"

I shook my head. "No, apart from the intimate poses, no. Not in that sense."

His eyes fluttered open; the intensity of liquid silver dominated his midnight blue eyes, the usual gold flecks gone. The constant shift of his eye color depended on his mood and I was frozen in awe. He was compellingly riveting and spellbinding to those around him. _Does he know the kind of power he has with his looks alone? Does he know he can make me fall at his feet with a smile? Or is it the fact that he can slice me in two with a mere glance?_

"Are you attracted to him?"

_Am I?_ I swallowed. He is hot, but enough to tempt me away from Blake? No, I didn't think there's a man out there who could. "Yes, he's good looking. Am I tempted? No. I only want you, Blake. I've only ever wanted you from the moment you kissed me. There's only you and I'm not going to jeopardize us over asinine curiosity."

He moved past me and leaned slightly against the mahogany desk. "Come here," Blake commanded in a soft voice, but with an edge of something I couldn't pinpoint at the time. I did as he asked and stood before him, but he didn't even try to touch me. __ "Show me I'm the only one. _Prove it_."

_Prove it_ , he said. "Fine" and I would. I had been aching for him. If playing charades would get him to be inside me, then who was I to decline his request?

Slowly unbuckling his belt and his pants, I pulled his boxer briefs down all the way to his ankles. When his cock sprung free from the confines of his briefs, my insides melted from the sight of it and a flow of liquid oozed freely from my pussy. I knelt before him and took him in my mouth. His sharp intake of breath pleased me. I sucked his shaft all the way to the back of my throat and back out again; all the way to his engorged head, repeatedly.

His large hand pulled my hair and he rasped for me to stop. He commanded me to prop my elbows on the desk and to spread my legs open. I did. I felt him behind me as he pulled the ends of my dress and hiked it all the way above my butt. His finger traced the outline of the soft lace that covered my ass and then all the way to the front where he rubbed furiously.

" _You only get wet for me, Sienna?_ " His tone told me he was still angry.

" _Only_ you, Blake," I croaked as his finger drove me insane, my mind totally incapable of thinking.

"Are you lying to me?" _What the fuck?_ _How many times did I have to tell this infuriating man?_

"Why the hell would I lie to you? There's no one else I want more than _you_." It was so difficult to concentrate when his finger wouldn't stop rubbing me. I was trying with all my might to get it together.

A harsh sound came from him as he ripped my thong in two and flung it to the floor. He didn't tease his engorged head at my opening like he usually did; he just inserted himself with one powerful thrust and growled, " _Santo Cielo!_ I've been dreaming about your silk tightness for so long. Forgive me if I can't control myself. God help me, but I can't stop wanting you." He held my hips tighter and pounded me very hard. His force was titillating and I lifted my ass more so that he could get his fill. My invitation was awarded with another growl. He lifted me so we were both on our feet as he cupped my breasts and used them to fuck me harder.

" _Baby... you feel so good... don't stop..._ " I said in between moans. He bit the spot where my shoulder and neck connected. I yelped from the searing pain his teeth caused.

Blake pulled out and swiftly placed my limp body on the wide mahogany desk. Hooking my legs around his hips, he plunged inside me again. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was watching his cock pummel me and I had never seen a sexier look on his face. I groaned as he shifted his position and picked up his pace to a grinding speed.

"I only want you... only you..." I panted, out of breath.

His hands held my shoulders and both of his thumbs pressed firmly on my throat. His dominating position made the effect of his fucking even more powerful. "You belong to me. I'm taking what's mine." The pressure on my throat and the pressure from my groin put together simply combusted me. Multiple-orgasms quaked and vibrated my entire body as he poured his seed into my womb.

Blake pulled me gently to him as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "Thank you, my love. I needed that," said as he heavily panted against me.

_You can have me that way anytime. That was the best sex ever! Ever!_

I lovingly smiled at him. "No, _thank you!_ I love it when you're rough and unhinged. I enjoyed every second of it."

"Good to know because that was only the appetizer. I have more coming your way tonight." He gave me a wicked smile and at that moment, my heart convulsed with love.

_I love you..._

"Sounds like a plan, but for now, we have to get back before our friends start a search party for us."

I picked my ripped underwear up off the floor and was about to throw them in the waste bin when he took the decimated cloth from my hand. He bunched it up and placed it under his nose, inhaling my lingering scent.

_Oh. My. Goodness._

His dazzling god-like smile in place, he shoved my torn underwear in his breast pocket. "Just a token of this eventful night, _amore_." His toe-curling voice made me want to jump on him, but instead, I settled on his lips. _Amore_ , he said.

_Love._

The man did speak five languages, fluently.

# Chapter Eighty-Four

We'd been seeing each other daily. It was Thursday and he'd be leaving again Sunday. Long distance with Blake was such a bummer and since he was leaving soon, I'd decided to surprise him at one of the corporate offices in South Bank.

The idea came when I was walking out of my last class of the day. It was only three in the afternoon and I didn't feel like going home early so I hailed a passing cab. The high-rise glass building was magnificent.

I eyed the automatic glass door with hesitation. I wasn't exactly dressed appropriately for office visits. It was nearing the end of August and the weather had been chilly for the last few days, but that day, the weather greeted me with warm rays of sunshine and I succumbed to the impulse of wearing a casual outfit. I was wearing a well-worn, short, denim skirt, white cami and dark brown cowboy boots with my hair down, finishing my look; a look of a college student no doubt _. Oh well, whatever. I want to see him; who cares what people think?_ I didn't wear much make-up that day. Well, I didn't usually do much when I went to school. All I needed was tinted moisturizer, a dab of gloss and a few swipes of mascara.

_Should I call him first? Maybe not._ I wanted to surprise him. I was sure he was going be delighted to see me. Blake had been insatiable ever since he'd landed Saturday from New York.

Feeling optimistic, I strolled to the entrance. It was all glass and black marble tiles with a touch of chrome around the bank of elevators at the far end of the building. I stopped and greeted one of the polished pretty receptionists; there were six of them. "Hello, I'm here to see Blake Knightly. Can you direct me to his office?" She stopped typing on her white Apple computer and glanced in my direction. The auburn hair, blue-eyed woman gave me a cold stare and mocked my outfit with her eyes. She almost laughed at me, but managed to stifle it. _Catty much?_

"And _who_ might you be? Do you have an appointment?" Her condescending attitude continued.

"I'm Sienna Richards. I don't have an appointment. This was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I'm one of his close friends."

" _Sure you are_. Give me a minute." With a few clicks, she spoke into her tiny headpiece and started typing. After a couple of minutes—but what felt like forever—she handed me a keycard pass with my name and pointed to the set of elevators. She instructed me to swipe the keycard on the scanner and it would take me to Blake's floor.

Her forced smile made me leave the reception area without even saying thanks. She certainly didn't deserve one. _Is that how they receive guests here? It's pretty scary._ It was worse than going to the dentist.

I was about to step inside one of the elevators when a woman stopped and faced me with a hateful smirk. I froze. It was the woman from the text message. The picture hadn't done her beauty justice. She was even more striking in person.

_"Yes?"_ Here I was, hoping my frosty attitude would send her away.

"You should stop this chasing that you're doing, _querida_. You will get hurt and you seem like a nice, pretty little girl." Her Spanish accent was evident.

"I'm not chasing anyone. I'm here to see my boyfriend. So, if you please, could you move out of my fucking way, _bruja!_ " _Hag._

The woman laughed like she had all the time in her little, whimsical world. She even had the gall to look amused. She was a bitch with a capital B. "You are a little spitfire, aren't you? No wonder my dear Blake can't get enough. He always loves it rough, wouldn't you say? But he won't be yours for long." Her wide, bitch smile was in place. "In less than four months, he'll be officially engaged, my dear." _Engaged? Blake? No, it can't be._ This woman was bluffing and plotting because she wanted Blake all to herself.

"Engaged to whom? Y _ou?_ Right, like I would believe anything that comes out of that salacious, poisonous mouth of yours." _What a lowlife. Doesn't she have anything else to do besides spewing lies and pestering others?_ She chuckled again in her stupid, annoying laugh. I was seriously tempted to punch the twilights out of her, but I didn't want to make a scene.

The women looked thoughtful for a moment before she spat her venom at me. "How I wish it was me. Papa and mama love him. The lucky lady was Camilla Clayworth. He's been engaged since he was eighteen. He didn't tell you, did he? Well, that's too bad. Well, it was great to meet you. Good luck!" She sauntered past me like she was up for Miss Universe. _Is it true? Is Blake really engaged? He never said anything. Well duh. Start moving and ask the man himself._

I did as instructed and scanned the keycard with a shaky hand and the elevator came to life. Floor after floor I went up. The light indicator on the panel was finally on the last floor before the 'P.' I was assuming that it stood for penthouse.

With a silent swoosh of the elevator doors I stepped out onto the carpeted floor. There was another model-type, blonde receptionist behind a desk. _Do all the receptionists in this building look like they just stepped out of Vogue? What kind of a discriminatory workplace is this? A very pretty one. It's a no brainer why men in suits gawk and pant with all these hot women around all day at work wearing tight-fitting suits. It was no wonder lawsuits are quite common in this arena._

"Ms. Richards? I'm Larissa. Why don't you take a seat while I page Luke? He should be here shortly to get you."

Murmuring my thanks, I turned and sat in one of the lounge chairs. I was surprised she wasn't hostile like the other hellcat in the lobby. Frankly, I was ready for another battle. _I might get my wish if this farcical innuendo turns out to be true._ I wasn't naïve enough to think that arranged marriages were abolished back in the medieval period. They were quite common with the blue-blooded, upper-crust society. And Blake was one of them. I was sure his lineage could be traced as far back as before Christ.

Luke came to greet me before my butt had time to warm the seat cushion. He genuinely seemed happy to see me, but his mood didn't rub off on me. I was polite, but obviously it was strained. Who wouldn't be, given the situation?

"He's just finishing up a call, but he should be done soon." He opened a dark cherry oak door and I thanked him graciously.

Blake's office overlooked the River Thames and his executive black desk sat right in the middle of the room. He was on a call but looked up when I entered and gave me one of his signature dashing smiles. I lamely waved back and strolled over to the far right floor-to-ceiling glass window and gloomily stared at the view below me. I was nervous and I had no idea how to bring the subject up. He looked happy to see me.

_If he is engaged... then I have to walk away. The big question is, can I leave him?_ Blake had become my life. I lived and breathed him. My love for him was so much more than the kind I had felt for Kyle. Blake consumed my soul.

I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't hear him coming. I was jolted back into reality when I felt his arms wrap around my waist. He kissed and nuzzled my neck before speaking. "When you walked through the door, I was just thinking about you. It's a good thing we read each other's minds so well."

Tilting my head so he could kiss me, I sighed with a heavy heart when our lips made contact. I kissed him like it was the last time. I kissed with my heart.

"Babe, can we talk?" My stern voice broke the spell.

"That sounds ominous. Why don't we go and sit, shall we?" He guided me toward the other section of the room where there was a sectional couch and a bar of refreshments. Neither of us sat on it. I stood behind one of the lounge chairs, anxious. He leaned against the bar and folded his arms.

"What is it? You're being odd."

"Are you—by any chance—engaged?" He froze in shock. His face horrified. _Oh, fuck!_

"Where did you get this information?"

"From a relevant source. Be honest with me. Is. It. True?"

He exhaled a defeated sigh and weaved a hand through his hair as his other hand squeezed the bridge of his nose. "A day before I turned eighteen, my grandfather summoned me to his study. He told me that the Clayworths wanted me to marry their daughter, Camilla. When he broke the news, I wasn't at all surprised. The Clayworths were very good friends with my parents. I grew up with Camilla and it was always spoken between our families that they wished it when the time came. Camilla's lovely and I didn't have any qualms about being married to her, so I said yes with one condition. The condition was for them to wait until I was at the age of twenty-five. I didn't mean for you to find out this way; I'm so very sorry."

"Have you had sex with her?"

"She lost her virginity to me, and on occasion, we would meet up and go somewhere for vacation. It's been our tradition ever since the agreement. It was our way of getting to know each other."

"You weren't planning to tell me, huh? I'm just your little plaything on the side until you get married. I'm a quick fuck for you. I get it. I see everything clearly now."

He rushed to my side and tried to hold my hand, but I bunched them together until they were white. I couldn't stand to be touched by him. "No, Sienna, it wasn't like that at all. I wanted you from the first moment. You've been my friend; don't do this. I'll fix it. I'll talk to the Clayworths."

"You are a liar. One of the things I asked of you is your honesty and yet from the very beginning, you were lying. How many women have you fucked while being with me? God! I'm so stupid!"

"I haven't had anyone, except for you."

"Right, like I should believe what comes out of those lying lips? Forget you. I'm done. Don't contact me because I'm through with you."

I was about to reach for the door when he held me down with his arms, wrapping my body like steel. "I'm sorry. I'll figure a way out; don't leave. I love you. I've been in love with you for a long time. Don't do this to us." I fought against his hold and he finally released me.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! _You love me?_ This is how you show you love someone?" My tears started falling freely. "The pain I feel right now—it's a hundred times worse than what Kyle ever did to me. This is your _love?_ Well, I DO NOT WANT IT! Give it to your fiancée _._ I'm sure she'll gladly take it, you lying sack of shit! I regret the day I let you in my life!" With that, I left and ran to the elevator.

My heart was beating frantically.

I didn't feel relieved until I was in the safety of a cab.

# Chapter Eighty-Five

I was still in a state of shock. The whole scene flashed vividly in my mind. I ordered the driver to take me to a place where I could find some solace. I didn't want to be bothered with questions at home from Lucy.

I paid the cab driver and entered the house with my key. I was on autopilot as I headed for the stairs. When I reached the top, I saw Kyle come out of his bedroom. His huge grin turned into a questioning frown as he got closer.

"Sienna, what's wrong? What happened?" My knees buckled and Kyle caught me before I landed on the wooden floor.

"He's engaged, Kyle. I've fallen in love with a guy who's promised to someone else." I started to laugh hysterically at the situation. I reluctantly followed my heart and look where that left me. The dream of having Blake in my life—waking up next to him and seeing him smile lovingly at me—was gone. All gone and soon he'd be doing all those things with the wretched Camilla. That image hit me quite literally. I howled from the pain. I cried, like how I cried when I found out my dad had died.

Kyle held me until I stopped sobbing with my pain and gently carried me to his bed, covering my body with a comforter. He didn't even bother taking my shoes off. He placed himself on top of the comforter and held me as I cried myself into unconsciousness.

I woke up later feeling like I had drowned and been brought back to life. I checked the clock on the side table, five thirty-six a.m. I felt Kyle still holding me. Bless him, he never asked about what happened. It was always like that with him. I liked how he never asked and always waited for me to initiate it.

I was just about to slide off the bed when he stirred. "Hey, why don't you wash up and I'll make some breakfast? You didn't eat last night. You have to eat something."

Pursing my lips, I nodded. "Okay, let me just wash my face and brush my teeth then I'll come down."

Padding my way to the bathroom, I looked for a spare toothbrush and found one in the very last drawer. I didn't even bother checking what my face looked like. I knew my eyes were red and swollen. I just couldn't bear seeing it and looking myself in the eye. I just might have had a nervous breakdown.

After washing up, I took a scrunchy from my purse and tied my hair up then headed downstairs, barefoot and in my same clothes from the day before. _Kyle probably took my shoes off in the middle of the night._ I sighed.

I found him making two cups of coffee. There were two plates with ham and cheese omelets on the breakfast table. I took a seat as he placed a hot, freshly brewed coffee next to me. "Thank you, Kyle, but you didn't have to wake up this early and make me breakfast."

"You're talking crazy. That was nothing compared to your usual crazy PMS days."

I smiled. "Geez, why do you always bring that up? Either way; thank you." I took a huge sip of my coffee and a hefty bite of the omelet.

We were silent for a while until he spoke, "I'm actually leaving for Heathrow to go back to LA today, for two weeks. My flight's at ten-thirty. So I had to wake up anyway."

I paused. _He was leaving for two weeks?_ "You never said. Why didn't you say anything?"

"You've been busy with Blake since Saturday and I didn't want to bother you. It was irrelevant."

"How can that be irrelevant? You should've told me at least. I would've showed up at work Friday and found you gone. What the hell?"

Kyle shrugged. "I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. I just didn't want to bother you, 'kay?"

"Well, we're best friends. You should tell me every time you plan to leave the country. I worry, too."

"Fine, okay. I'll do that if it makes you happy."

I murmured thank you and took another sip of my coffee. I didn't have much of an appetite and I had to force myself to eat. Kyle wouldn't have it if I didn't eat and I couldn't deal with another argument at that point.

_Blake... was he hurting, too?_ Maybe, maybe not. I didn't know him anymore. I thought I had, but that simply wasn't the case. That mask he put on sometimes never came off. I never knew which one I'd get when I was with him. He could be deceiving. I had been dangerously playing with fire and I had gotten burnt.

Kyle took both of our plates to the sink and cleaned up. I got up and sat on one of the stools that faced him. "Hey, I was thinking... would you mind if I go home with you? I don't want to stay here. I just want to get away for a bit. I can email my teachers and tell them that there's an emergency back home."

" _You sure?_ You're not going to get in trouble? I know you're hurting, baby, but you can't mess up school. You've worked so hard to get here; don't mess it up. But, if your teachers are going to be okay with it, then who am I to stop you?" I went over to his side and gave him a big hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Now, I have to go and pack. I don't want to miss our flight."

He called me a cab and we agreed that it would be easier for him to pick me up from the flat and we'd head to the airport from there. He'd pick me up around seven-thirty and it was already quarter past six. I technically had an hour to shower and pack.

The idea of going home with him came out of nowhere, but I was glad I thought of it because I couldn't stand staying around after the break-up. The thought of seeing Blake terrified me. The idea of seeing him with someone else so soon was definitely going to kill me. I knew I was running away from it all, but I wasn't strong enough to face any of my friends and explain the situation.

# Chapter Eighty-Six

The ride from Kyle's house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building. I quietly made my way into the apartment, not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lugged it onto the bed. I couldn't even look at the bed without seeing images of Blake and me making love on it.

_Shit, this is going to be difficult._

I felt like I was a walking, breathing dead person. There was a heavy-knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathed it hurt. It felt like someone had jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding.

I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze. _Shit, is that Blake?_

"May I come in?" Lucy's soft voice said against the door.

"Yep, come on in," I answered.

She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widened when she saw the luggage on my bed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back home with Kyle for a couple of weeks. I _need_ some space... away."

She sighed and sat next to my luggage. "Blake's been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He's going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven't you checked your phone?" I shook my head. I didn't dare check it.

"Listen, I don't know why you guys broke up and I feel awful that you guys did; I love you both and I hate that it's come to this. He didn't want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you're home and you're safe? The man hasn't slept because he's been so worried."

"Yeah, that's fine," my small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me.

"If going back home will help, then go, but if you're not sure, then best you fix it with him; if there's a chance for you both. Just think about it, okay? I love you, my dear friend. I'll let Chad know later on today. Don't forget to let us know that you've arrived safely, all right?" She kissed my cheek and quietly left the room.

My eyes burned, but no tears formed. I guess I had run out of tears from all the excessive crying I had done the night before. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change.

Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied. Technically, he hid the truth. He didn't man up and confess his little dirty secret. _Is the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with._

_Fuck, this realization hurts._ I had always wondered, but I didn't dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn't need all the bells and whistles. I only wanted him and I didn't care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit.

I hastily changed into black, stretchy-skinny jeans and a black, fitted shirt with black, wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair into a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without a care. I didn't even bother with make-up and settled for sheer lip-gloss instead. _Kyle should be here in five minutes. I had better get moving so I can meet him downstairs._

I found Luce in the kitchen, drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I knew he was worried, but Luce needed her sleep. Her school was taking up a lot of her time as it was. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and I left for downstairs.

Dragging my luggage out of the elevator and straight out of the main door, I didn't see the person waiting for me. " _Sienna, please talk to me._ I've been out of my wits with worry since last night when you didn't come home." His eyes spied my luggage. "Going on a trip?"

"Yes, in fact, Kyle should be here any second. He's going back home for a while and I invited myself along."

"Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him. He's in love with you! He's going to take this opportunity and turn it in his favor."

"That would certainly be up to me, don't you think? Stop wasting your time."

"No, we can figure it out. I don't want to be with anyone else. I love you, Sienna, with everything that I am. I love you." _Liar, if he did... he would've ended his engagement before I even found out, but he didn't._

He raked a hand through his hair. _Dammit, he looks beautiful and sexy as hell._

"Stop lying to yourself and _to me_. Game over, so you should drop the act—" He swiftly captured my lips and I reeled from the impact of his kiss. After a few times of trying to coax my lips into submission, I gave in to my lecherous body. _God, kissing him feels perfect... it feels like home._

_I love him so much, it hurts._ My tears fell freely and we both tasted them, but he didn't stop. With a deep, heavy, guttural growl, he pulled my lips away and cradled my cheeks with his hands. "Did that feel like a game to you?" I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. " _Damn you!_ That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you, too, Sienna. I can't live without you... will you marry me?"

I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights as he got on bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly more than fifteen carats. The ring was a princess-cut, canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds and had been designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band; the eternity band.

"The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when they get caught with the sun, like liquid gold. I commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night, I knew you were _it_ for me. I don't want anyone else. I know everything's been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed—you to know how much you mean to me. _I love you_ _wholeheartedly_. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say _yes_?"

I stared wide-eyed at the ring, back to his face and back to the ring again. Shocked didn't even begin to cover my reaction.

"Blake... I'm sorry... I can't."

He abruptly stood up and grabbed my face with a fierce scowl. "What do you mean you can't? How hard is it to say yes?"

"I can't. I'm sorry," I stammered through my tears.

"I see. I guess I imagined that you felt the same way, but I suppose that's all it was, all in my imagination."

He heaved and turned to me with a stony face. "You'll regret this because I've only ever loved you and when you see me happy with another woman, you'll regret it even more. Your thoughts will be haunted by me; the one that got away. Goodbye, Sienna." He stood there for a few seconds before sliding into the Aston Martin, gunning the engine and rapidly vanishing through the traffic.

I wiped away my tears and exhaled a long sigh. I had done the right thing, I knew I had. _He lied. I can't trust him!_

Kyle's cologne penetrated the air, letting me know that he was close to me. "Did you see all of that?"

"I did. Sienna, you love him. And it hurts for me to say this, but what if you're making a mistake? Don't you think you should give it another shot?"

_What good would it be without trust?_ It was worthless without trust.

_How can one be happy with a liar? One who keeps secrets such as having a fucking fiancée?_ Even if I did give him another chance, I would be permanently living in a state of paranoia. I couldn't do that to myself.

I did the right thing; the best thing. It didn't feel like it in that moment, but it would be in the long run.

"No, let's leave it at that. We have to get going. I don't want to miss the flight."

# ~S~

I didn't let my thoughts wander to Blake's proposal until I was seated. I ached while I watched the fluffy, white clouds through the airplane window as I listened to "Lovesong" by Adele __ from my iPod.

What happened that day was life changing for me. I didn't know if I would be able to get over it. The hurt and pain was rooted deeply inside of me. I didn't doubt that I would see him again; we did have common friends. It was simply inevitable.

I may have been broken right then, but the next time I set foot in London, I would be a different woman. A much stronger one, I hoped.

One that men didn't trample on.

* * *

_The **Chasing** Series:_

# Chasing Beautiful

### Chasing Imperfection

_Read **CHASING IMPERFECTION** Preview **** Attached Below..._

# Chasing Imperfection

### a preview

**BOOK 2**

## Chapter Eighty-Seven

# Blake

### One month and two weeks later...

"Do you want any more cognac?" The dark-eyed Spanish beauty asked. Did I want any more cognac? _No. I'm already trashed as it is, but my mind keeps running away with thoughts of the woman who stole my heart, my soul._

"Sure," I murmured.

Her cat-like smile was plastered on her sensual face while she poured. I took a mouthful and loved the smooth burn of the expensive liquor. Her hand caressed the exposed spot on my chest where my shirt was unbuttoned. She was obviously trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore her. She took my indifference as a green light and started to hastily undo my shirt.

_Hell, this woman is adamant._

She started to kiss my neck, chest and stomach. Her tongue lingered around the edge of my trousers. I just stared at her. Waiting to see how far she'd go to please me. Women were always this easy—they never say no—always willing to spread their legs wide open anytime, anyplace.

Well, with the exception of one.

_The one_ I wanted more than anything.

_The one_ I fell in love with but who walked away from me.

_Fuck,_ blasted karma. My head's been bombarded with thoughts of her—thoughts of her with that insipid man. My heart squeezed and I tasted acid in my mouth. _The hell with it! If she doesn't want me, then there are tons of women who are more than willing to accommodate me..._ like _this harlot trying to appease me and my moodiness_ , my thoughts provoked sourly.

I groaned as she undid my pants; I slightly lifted my hips so she could easily pull them down. She stroked my semi-hard cock as she sought my lips.

"No. There will be no kissing. I've emphasized that fact enough. If you're not happy with it—you know where the door is." I hissed at her. Her dark eyes widened in shock but she recovered from it after a few seconds.

_I don't give a fuck if she stays or not._

"Whatever you want _mi amor_ ," she purred as she lowered her head to capture the head of my shaft. I released a sigh and leaned back on the couch as she started to stroke it with her tongue.

Damn, why did I expect it to be like _hers_? Not only did she steal my heart, but she stole a bloody part of my sex life.

FUCK! Bloody Fuck!

How will I ever be satisfied with any other woman if she was the best I've ever had? She gave a mean head...and when she takes you—she gives it her all—and there is nowhere to go but to get sucked into her gripping abyss.

Most women aren't gifted, only some are. And let me _tell_ you—there aren't many of them out there. Some can be okay, some good, some great, but only a few will seriously blow your bloody fucking mind. Sienna was the bloody fucking package. And I loathe her more and more as the days go by.

This woman before me—was _a_ _fucking mediocre._

_Finally_ , the woman managed to get my dick up.

I pulled out my wallet and handed Maria Reyes a foil condom packet. I met her two days ago at a friend's party and she latched on to me like the leech that she is—but _I don't mind that, not at all_ —at least she was honest about what she's after.

Leaning back again on the couch, I closed my eyes and thought of Sienna. I heard Maria tear the foil packet and felt her gently roll the condom on my cock. She positioned herself and straddled me, then gently pressed her wet, greedy pussy on my cock.

A soft moan escaped my lips.

I imagined it was Sienna on me. I imagined the night I woke up from her fucking me _and_ that night during Chad's show in the office. _Hell_ , fucking her in the office was blatantly hot. She became even more frenzied when I held her neck while I fucked her some more. She didn't mind the choking—she just took it all. We wanted each other—in any imaginable way we could get it.

I gripped Maria's hips harder—feeling the intensity of my climax building and brewing inside. I pictured making love to Sienna— _her_ gasping face as I filled her— _her_ screaming my name— _her_ face as she orgasmed.

" _Fuck Sienna!_ " screaming her name as I came.

" _Bastardo!_ " Maria screeched as she climbed off me. _Not_ the first time this has happened. It happened the night I met her and every single time we fucked—which was _a lot_ in the last two days.

I shrugged when I heard the front door slam with a little quake.

Not my bloody fault if she kept coming back. I didn't mean it, not really. It just happened. My mind constantly revolves around Sienna. The only time I get a hiatus is at work, but somehow, she even manages to penetrate my workaholic mentality at the oddest times. Like I would space out during a meeting because I'd been thinking about her smile or how she teased me. _Anything_ and _everything_ —always about her—and I'm bloody going mindlessly crazy.

When will the miserable longing stop? I hate feeling this way. I got up and took care of cleaning myself. I was sure Maria left already—but she wouldn't be gone for long.

Strolling to the kitchen, I found Toby sitting with his laptop on the black granite breakfast countertop. "Maria?" he inquired without looking up.

"Yup," I said shrugging. "I know I'm paying you tons to do an excellent job—but it's almost midnight—you need to stop and do that in the office."

"Yeah, well I needed to straighten out a lot of the budget. This is such a bloody mess," Toby mumbled and took a long sip of his beer.

"Well, who would've thought the old arse was embezzling money. If he wasn't grandfather's good friend, I would've gladly punished him—but hey, Granddad pretty much said to let it go."

He smirked. "Sure...five million pounds is easy to let go for you folks."

I opened the fridge to get a bottle of water—drank some and turned around to face him. I grew up with Toby. We went to the same boarding school and university. We grew up privileged, but his father's gambling took a toll on the Watson's bank balance and it's been dwindling ever since. His parents have been pressuring him to help out his younger brother, Liam, through high school and he's been lending them a hand. He was making a decent amount of money at his other job in the finance department at one of the leading hedge fund companies in Europe. But when I found out what old McKenzie was doing—I threw him out and hired Toby. I'm paying him double to ease some of the pressure. He's worth it; not only am I lending him a hand—he also happens to be a genius when it comes to money. Toby's the closest thing I have to a brother and it pains me to see him stressed out about his father's failings.

Toby cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. "Mate—for years I haven't said a word about all your follies— _but what in God's name are you doing?_ I see you're hurting—but you won't talk about it. You're drunk most nights and frolicking with different women. _What the hell happened with Sienna?_ Lucy and Chad are clueless too—no one is talking and we're all wholly baffled."

_Fuck_ , I knew this was going to come.

When Toby moved in a few days after Sienna left, he never said a word about it. He simply dodged the whole subject, but I knew he was giving me time to come to terms with my problem—my pride—but now time's up.

Never once had I retained any reservations when it came to talking to Toby—this _bit_ with Sienna—where did I even begin? It was a bloody calamitous disaster. Now my best friend was staring me down, waiting.

_Blimey, this is bloody difficult...just start with a cleaner version, less hassle...fewer questions._

"She found out about Camilla. I promised I would take care of it and I did. She obviously was gutted about it—I understood that—but I couldn't lose her—so I proposed—she turned me down and went to L.A. with that cretin named Kyle. End of story."

"Wait— _you_ proposed? _Like marriage?_ " His face was disbelieving.

"Yes! _Exactly_ that! End of discussion." I roared at my friend's face which he unfortunately didn't notice.

_How the heck does he know what this feels like? He's so smitten with Lucy._

"Mate—I knew you were enamored with her—but you proposed _marriage_...you're that in love with her? Wow, I get it now—all these clamoring different women..." He trailed off shaking his head, "...but mate—you can't fuck your way out of this one."

"We'll see about that," barely hearing my own murmur because I simply doubted it myself. I have a slim chance in hell of getting over Sienna who _unequivocally_ bewitched me. But I have to try _at least_ and try I will.

I can't keep living like this—like my insides—like my soul is being sucked out of me—it's frightening. Surely there are tons of broken hearted people who move on quite easily. Why couldn't I be one of those people? I'll be damned if I wouldn't at least try—even if my method is "fucking my way out of it."

"She's back, you know. Why don't you go see her?" Toby eyed me with his knowledgeable blue eyes.

"Fuck no! I'm not going to crawl back and beg _again_. Once was humiliating enough. I'm sure Matthews has her now." The thought of her being with Matthews is killing me. She needs to get out of my head and make camp somewhere else. It's like having insanity running havoc in your head.

"Yeah 'cause her being with Matthews is what you really want," he finished his beer and slammed it down on the counter.

"Listen—she didn't want me. There's no _why_ or _how_ —she just doesn't. Don't you think I berate myself enough for not telling her about Camilla? I do—but my apologies were shrugged off and dismissed without consideration. If she doesn't want to be with me, then what is the point of begging her again to come back? I'm convinced that I was just a little jaunt to get over her hurt from the cheating wanker."

"You both did start dating quite quickly after Kyle. You probably have a point—Luce did mention you were only the second man she dated. And I suppose you two being close friends helped your case. So, if that theory is true...being used as a rebound by Sienna shouldn't be so bad, I take it? It is Sienna we're talking about...I know a few mates who are captivated by her but I doubt they can hold against Kyle or you. Don't say I didn't warn you about her and Kyle, mate. She used to talk about being married to him before you even came into the picture."

"You did—and I didn't pay heed. I couldn't—I wanted her."

"There were times I saw her look at you in a certain way—like conflicted somehow—but the way her eyes looked—I thought she was in love with you."

"She doesn't...she never did." _Painful_ but it's the truth. Idiot me thinking I'd found the one.

"What happened with the Clayworths then?"

"They were understanding and said they wanted me to be happy. Camilla was shattered of course. She already had her dress drawn out and ideas where the wedding was to be held. I like Camilla; she and I are compatible—and she loves me. But I fell in love with Sienna. I wanted it to be like the usual blasé I went for—but she was different—she rocked my world and left me in shambles."

"Anyone with eyes can see how Camilla is smitten with you, mate. You always treated her differently than your usual conquests. You took her on holidays and such—then again you needed that to get to know your wife-to-be. I think Camilla is a great woman—but I'm biased because I love Sienna and you're my friend—so I want you two to be together. But since you've categorized that subject as rubbish and you're done fighting for Sienna, and handing her over to Kyle–why don't you want to date Camilla? You do like her and you two seem quite compatible actually. All these different women Blake—surely it's taxing? Think about it."

"I'm really starting to hate Sienna. My whole life is out of order."

"Doubt that, but sure, whatever you say. I'm off to bed. See you in the morning." He took his laptop with him and left the kitchen.

_Damn_ him. He knew how much I hated Kyle Matthews and he kept rubbing it in. Every night I've been tortured with thoughts of them together. It's no wonder I drink myself to sleep most nights.

I left the kitchen towards the stairs and headed to my room. I needed to shower and clean myself of any traces of Maria.

_Should I really consider dating Camilla?_ I have to be sure because Camilla's an excellent woman and I don't want to hurt her, _again_.

Turning the dials on my steam shower, I dwelled on my thoughts. _Sienna_ , _you really crippled me_. I thought abhorrently.

I have to rein my feelings in before this whole disaster affects my work. I can't let down Grandfather. This company is my legacy. My children will inherit this someday and their children's children. _Hell_ , the thought of kids makes the acid in my stomach churn. A little girl that looked like Sienna floated around in my head.

God, how I want that woman—it's maddening. Maybe if I could taste her one more time—get her out of my system—it would help. She did believe in closure, didn't she? She went to see Kyle for "closure" and moved on from me. I suppose I could test that theory.

_Fuck! Fuck! I'm getting hard thinking about her body._ I've had sex three times today, but put Sienna in my thoughts and I instantly get a hard-on.

I'll figure something out. I always do.

I want to possess her—for the last time.

Then I can move on and never look back.

## Chapter Eighty-Eight

# Sienna

It's been a month and three weeks since I've been back in London. The trip to L.A. was worth it. Although my teachers were accommodating, I still had homework to catch up on. I stayed with Kyle and his parents during the whole two week visit. Marie was overjoyed and wouldn't stop implying that someday I would eventually go back to her son. I hid most of the time in the guestroom and tried to forget about everything—which was simply impossible to do.

My memory constantly flashed back to the moment when Blake proposed and I declined—his _expression_ then—his beautiful face contorted with hurt and rejection—made me feel like a double cold-hearted bitch. He proposed and I never saw it coming. Not only was I reeling from the revelation of his impending engagement, I was gob-smacked by the proposal. I felt bombarded with all sorts of emotions.

As much as I love him, I am not ready to be married. I'm not even twenty—marriage is out of the question. But the bottom line is, I'm still in love with Blake Knightly. _If_ he had confessed and enlightened me about the whole "arranged marriage" thing before I had found out about it from that wretched woman, I would've forgiven him. But it was all a joke, wasn't it? I felt betrayed. But most of all, I felt like a joke. Who else knew and why didn't they warn me about it?

Everything's been on autopilot. I've trained myself to smile and act cheerful around people even though it's killing me inside. I'm a living empty shell—but the beat goes on, right? And so shall I.

During the first week in Los Angeles, I shutout the world and hid in Kyle's guestroom; he wouldn't allow me the same courtesy come the second week. I was grateful for his persistent nature. He took me to Disneyland and Universal Studios, twice. I had a blast— _who wouldn't_? I felt like a kid again. Kyle knew me inside and out and I'm thankful he's helping me through this rut of post-breakup madness.

_Oh, the irony_. When Kyle broke my heart, Blake was there for me. And now the situation's reversed. The cycle of life can be so tedious and complicated.

Kyle on the other hand—took a different turn. A hot sexy turn, I might add. He cut his surfer hair and had it buzzed, got a large intricate tribal tattoo on his back that wrapped around his shoulder and arm, and the trip back home gave him a nice tan. He'd been dropping hints about _us_ again. How long can I evade the subject? This is major emotional overload.

I'm on my way to catch up with Chad and Lucy at a pub outside Lucy's school. I've explained the situation to them—only the highlights. I don't think I can voice much more without breaking down into hysterics. It's best to keep it that way. I have a façade to put on.

I'm ninety-nine point nine percent sure those two aren't buying the crap I'm feeding them, but hey, I have to keep trying. Since I have trouble dealing with my true feelings by myself, it's easy to be in a state of denial when talking about them with others. I'd rather deal with them alone where no one can see me suffering with my wretched pain.

Upon entering the pub, I saw Luce and Chad tucked in a booth on my far left and made my way towards them. Their faces lit up upon seeing me.

"Hello ladies—sorry I'm late—traffic totally sucked on the way here."

"Oh, don't be daft—no need to apologize love," Lucy greeted me and kissed both of my cheeks European style— _love it!_

Chad poured me a glass of red wine and slid it carefully before me. It's just us three now. The boys, Toby and Blake, temporarily moved to Marbella to finish a project for Blake's company.

"Chad, you've lost weight. Are you on a diet or something?" I asked.

He looked at Lucy and me. "I did?" We both nodded in unison. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. " _Oh, you know_. The usual problems gay men have. Boyfriends...parents...hellish things... you know. Moving on—the exhibition was a success although it definitely took a large amount of my time for months! It was stressful but super fucking worth it."

"What's going on with your parents, Chad?" Lucy asked.

He shrugged before answering. "Usual crap—don't feel like talking about them. But let me tell you my dear baby love—all your portraits were sold—I had to let you know since you've been hella busy since you've been back. You've been ignoring your bestie—but I forgive you!"

"I'm sorry you guys, promise I'll be better. But wait— _who_ bought them? Oh, I'm so happy for you! You're going to be a major brand soon! Just you wait."

"I can't disclose that—sorry," he smiled wickedly at me. Huh?

"I can only guess who bought them—but who knows. Anyway, Toby invited all three of us to go down there and visit. I mean, I go there almost every weekend to see him—but he wants to catch up with everyone," Lucy said with excitement.

Um, not ready for that. Toby lives with Blake. Certainly not ready for that.

"You guys go—I'm busy with school and work. Tell him I said hi and I miss him, or better yet—I'll text him."

"Please do. He's been worried you see—but he'll be glad to hear from you. What about you, Chad? Coming?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"No can do missy—I have a lot on my plate. Though the thought of sunbathing and enjoying hot rich men around the beach is very enticing—I have to pass, maybe next time perhaps?"

Lucy stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, surely not you too? You're such a bugger, Chad!"

_Crap_ , invitations to go to Marbella are going to come up a lot. I just hope I have enough excuses to dodge them. _Chad loves vacations, wonder what's keeping him? He looked unhappy, but why? Was it about his parents? I'll corner him later and interrogate._

I've heard from Luce that Blake's been extremely busy flying to a few different countries on a weekly basis. His reign in the business is imminent and Toby's confident that Blake's grandfather is stepping down in the next six months. With his hectic schedule—I doubt he remembers his short stint with me. He did have a playboy reputation and I don't have any doubts that he already has a replacement. The man was insatiable and had an everlasting stamina in bed and out of it.

Thinking of him with another woman kills me—but that's reality...and sooner or later I have to face that. It's inevitable that I will see him with his girlfriends. I just hope that he's okay, and hopefully, someday he and I can be friends again.

It was almost ten before we decided to leave the pub and we were starving. We totally forgot about dinner and got carried away talking. They never brought up the subject of Blake, thank goodness!

"Where do you guys want to go eat? I'm starving so decide, pronto!" Chad demanded.

"Oooh China Town, please? Crispy Duck?" My famished tummy growled.

"Genius, let's go biatches!" Chad said as he hailed a black cab.

I hadn't had a real meal all day. Apart from a nibble of a granola bar, two grande cappuccinos and two glasses of red wine, I barely had any food. And I was ravenous.

There's this restaurant in China Town that's open until four in the morning and they have the best crispy duck ever. I mean—seriously—it's divine. They fry the duck to a crisp and they pull the meat into shreds on the table with two forks. Then you eat it with Chinese style pancakes and a drizzle of plum sauce. It's glorious! I've tried several Chinese restaurants in L.A. that offer something similar, but they don't even come close. We all love this place...even Blake. We used to come here often after a late night of partying.

When we got inside the restaurant, Lucy excused herself to call Toby. Apparently, they've been playing phone tag all night. When Chad and I were both seated, I took the opportunity to ask him.

"Chad—whatever it is—you can tell me—something's bothering you—I'm here for you," I said as I studied his face. Something flashed in his eyes, was it pain?

"I'll tell you later, okay? I'm not ready to talk yet—but thank you. I know you're there for me, Sienna. That's why I love you," he smiled lamely at me. How I wished I knew what it was—so I could help put a genuine smile on his face again. His usual vibrant self was gone—the luster dimmed. _What the hell happened? Why won't he tell me?_

"I'm not going to put my phone on silent at night anymore—you can call me anytime, whenever you are ready to talk." He nodded and when he saw Lucy striding towards us, he pasted on a lame smile.

So, I guess we both had a mask on—pretending we were okay.

After dinner, Chad took off to party with his friends while Luce and I headed home. China Town is close to our flat in Covent Garden so it didn't take us long to get back to our place.

Tomorrow's Friday, so no classes for me. I can't wait to sleep in late and just be a bum all day eating tubs of ice cream. I showered and went to bed. The past three weeks of getting two or three hours of sleep and taking short naps was taking a toll on my body. I was exhausted and slept without a hitch.

I was woken up by my phone shrilling next to me. I had placed it on my bedside table just in case Chad decided to take my offer–and it seemed that he had. But when I checked the screen, the number flashing on it was unfamiliar.

"Hello?" My sleepy voice croaked.

Goodness, I was parched. I needed some water.

"Is this Miss Sienna Richards?" The stern voice of the man on the other end asked. I don't know why, but there was something in the way he spoke that made my heart beat wildly. "Yes, speaking. What is it?" I inquired.

"I'm calling because you are listed as Chad Wilson's emergency contact. There's been an incident in regards to him. We suggest that you come to the hospital to discuss the situation."

_Chad_ , my poor Chad. _What happened?_ I started to shake as I responded to the other person on the line and informed him that I would be there as soon as possible. I called a cab company and rushed over to Lucy's bedroom to wake her up. She almost jumped out of her skin when I told her. We both quickly changed and I dressed myself in sweats and Uggs.

The entire cab journey was silent as we held hands. I could hear Lucy silently weeping. I didn't have any clue what the "incident" was. They wouldn't disclose any information to me until I got there.

When we got to the emergency reception area, the nurse directed us to a room and told us what had happened. "He was brought in a couple hours ago. He consumed a great amount of alcohol. That alone was dangerous, but what put everything off kilter was his use of cocaine. He overdosed and slipped into a coma." I stared at her while Lucy bawled next to me.

" _Coma?_ Drugs? Chad doesn't do drugs. There must've been a mistake. Chad wouldn't do that..." my voice trailed off as the nurse smiled sadly at me.

"That's always the case, love. Here's the room. Do you know how to reach his family? It's best you contact them as well." I nodded, not knowing what else to say. The nurse went on, "I just checked on him so you both can go in and wait for the doctor. He'll explain everything." I nodded again, half hearing her speak as I gently pushed the ominous white door open.

The shock of seeing Chad lying there on the hospital bed hit me with sadness and guilt. I rushed to his side crying.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why the _hell_ didn't you!" My sad, angry voice shook as I hugged his body and cried.

This was entirely my fault. I let him leave knowing something was off. I could've stopped this from happening but I didn't. Now he was in the hospital...in a coma. His dark skin looked ashen, his lips pale. Aside from the beeping noises of the heart monitor and the ventilator, he looked completely lifeless. _Chad, had I known you were in so much pain, I wouldn't have left your side earlier._ He had been in so much pain that he overdosed on booze and drugs. Lucy was crying openly on the chair.

We were both distraught when the doctor came into the room.

"Miss Richards?" The salt and pepper haired doctor asked. I nodded to him because my voice had completely left me, my body completely in shock. He introduced himself as Dr. Hill. He was kind and understanding as he explained the situation. The amount of alcohol and drugs Chad had consumed was unbelievable. I felt as if the doctor had slapped me when he asked if Chad had given any indication he was suicidal. _What is he blabbering about?_ _Chad would never commit suicide._ But why would he ask? __ The doctor kept insisting that it was _suicide._ His coma could be temporary or it could be permanent. The next few days were going to be critical for his recovery. He said there was not much that we could do until they saw some progress. He bid his farewell shortly after.

Lucy and I held each other. We both agreed that he would never commit suicide and yet here he was. The guilt was eating us up inside because we didn't have any clue what Chad was going through. The thought of Chad in a coma permanently, terrifies the hell out of me.

_He can't leave! He has to survive. He will open his eyes again and give me that sweet smile._ I kept saying to myself. He's such a beautiful person, inside and out. _His career was starting to take off; what's the reason behind the suicide? Boyfriend? Finances? What?_

Whatever it was...suicide was not the answer. He had us to help him out—he didn't have to go through it alone. _But apparently, he had felt alone_ or _he would never have opted for this_. Suicide usually is the last resort and my dear friend, unbeknownst to me, was holding on by a very fine thread.

I pulled a chair next to him and held his hand while Lucy did the same on his other side. We both silently prayed and hoped our friend would recover from this.

_My sweet Chad...please don't leave me..._ I thought as I fell asleep crying, holding his cold, lifeless hand.

I woke up when I heard hushed voices. A bright stream of sunshine filtered through the tinted windows. I looked up and saw Toby holding Lucy. His face and eyes were red and blotchy. He had obviously been crying too. "Toby? When did you get here?"

"Around nine-thirty, two hours ago—I came here as soon as I found out. Blake couldn't come since he's in Australia for the next two weeks. He said he'll try to wrap up everything as soon as possible and be here as well." I nodded in understanding.

Kyle came the moment he found out and all four of us stayed there and prayed for our friend to come back to us. The guys took turns fetching coffee and food. Not once did Luce and I leave the hospital room.

It was late Sunday afternoon and Toby had to fly back to Spain for work. He promised to be back in couple of days; he needed to sort out some business before taking a few days off.

When Monday rolled around, Lucy reluctantly had to leave for school. I stayed vigilantly next to him. Kyle brought some clothes for me and all the other things I needed. I tried to look for Chad's phone, but apparently he didn't have it with him when the medics brought him in.

I had to call my teachers and explain the whole situation to them. They said that I could do the assignments and email them back before the end of the semester. I promised I would do all the extra work and visit museums if I have to. They were all kind, understanding and at the same time, worried about Chad. I knew what they were thinking: _What if he never wakes up again?_ But I can't think like that. I have to be optimistic. I have to keep faith, for Chad. He needs me to be strong for him.

Over the next few days, Luce did the same as I did. She left only when she had to. Kyle visited twice a day—in the morning before he went to work and after he got out of work.

On Friday, I was watching reruns of _Hollyoaks_ on the small television the hospital provided when I felt Chad's hand move. I jumped from my seat and stared at his hand for a whole minute without blinking. There it was again; _it was moving!_

I scrambled to my feet, rang the nurse's station and told them what I had witnessed. The doctor barged in after five minutes, checking vital signs and ordering a CT scan _immediately_. The nurses wheeled him out of the room and onto another floor. The doctor advised me to stay put and get some rest.

I was fidgeting when Kyle found me and I relayed everything to him. "Sienna, I understand you're worried—I really do babe—but you have to go home and rest. You need to sleep or you'll be the one in the hospital next. You're losing weight."

_He's right._

I feel like I'm floating and I'm so groggy I can't think straight. I can't be of any help if I kill myself in the process.

"Okay, but only after the doctor gets back from the scan." He nodded and squeezed my shoulders.

We waited for the doctor—what seemed like forever—and he explained that there was some brain activity and advised us that the possibility of Chad recovering could still vary. We would have to wait a few more days to see if Chad showed any more signs.

After the doctor left, Kyle took me back to his house. I didn't want to be alone and he insisted on taking care of me. I don't know how I managed to fully shower without passing out. I wore Kyle's L.A. Kings hockey jersey and fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

I woke up in the morning breathing on Kyle's neck. He only had his silk boxers on. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and both of our legs were tangled. I was trying to figure out how I could untangle myself without waking him up when I felt his heartbeat accelerate wildly against my chest. His breathing became shallow as his morning wood started to become evident against my inner thigh. _Shit, this sucks_.

"Kyle?" I whispered to him. He groaned in my hair. "I can feel your erection—feel like letting go of me now?" I said against his neck.

"Never—I will never let go of you." _Uh! I have to get back to Chad._ I tried to push myself off of him but he wouldn't release me. "I love this, Sienna. Give me just a few more minutes. Let me cherish this moment."

"Fine." I murmured. It was the least I could do, _compromise,_ since he had taken care of my well being and had been supportive.

Not knowing what to do, I gently traced the tattoo on his arm; it was a beautiful design and it fitted him well.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, as he smelled my neck.

_Oh, what the heck_? I was so not in the mood to be teased. "Kyle—maybe next time—I'll think about it, but for now, I need to get back to Chad."

Kyle looked serious. "Think about that rain check, will you?" I gently slapped him in the head as he laughed heartily and released his hold on me. Men and their stupid hormones! _Seriously_.

I ran to the bathroom and showered. I dressed in the clothes that Kyle packed for me yesterday. I didn't want to miss any progress with Chad. Kyle dropped me off at the hospital and I hastily kissed his cheek. He tried to capture my lips with his but I nudged his arm playfully.

_Kyle's been a little aggressive with his antics lately._ I couldn't honestly accommodate that thought when my friend was lying lifeless in a hospital bed.

## Chapter Eighty-Nine

# Blake

I was on my way out of the hospital when I saw her emerge from the cab with Matthews. They looked pretty intimate and I was frozen to the spot watching how the two exchanged their goodbyes.

_Keep moving before she sees you_ , I told myself, but I couldn't. I hadn't seen her in a couple of months and my eyes were taking everything in. She was walking towards the building with a huge smile on her face.

Is she still in love with him? Did she love him even when she was with me? Did she think of him while we were together? _Bloody fuck_ , she probably did.

She was obviously happy while I sat with my own bloodless misery. Every waking moment, I feel the loss of Sienna and she doesn't give a damn. I was convenient and she probably used me just to get over her ex. _Well, you did_ pursue _her—it's no one's fault but yours._ Resentment, as always, crept in and I was starting to hate her—really, scornfully _hate_ her.

I stood frozen, studying her face. She was wearing a black, cotton long sleeve top, black leggings and the very same cowboy boots she wore that _wretched_ day she confronted me about my engagement. My stomach recoiled as I thought about it.

Her hair was still wet—evidently just out of the shower. _Did she share it with Kyle?_ _Stop_ , it doesn't matter. _She_ doesn't matter anymore.

When she finally saw me, she stopped and stared with her pretty mouth hanging ajar.

I stared at her beautiful face, hating and loving her at the same time. My jaw tightened as I thought about her with another man–God knows I haven't been celibate. I jumped at the nearest woman who opened her legs invitingly a day or two after she left for LA. But _fuck_ , jealousy was such a toxic emotion.

"Blake," her soft voice stammered. I caught her eyes wandering all over me, stopping at my mouth.

"Sienna," I said through gritted teeth. _I hate you._

"You're uh—back early from Australia? Did you see Chad? How is he?" She pressed her lips, looking anywhere but at me.

"I landed a couple hours ago and came straight here. I had to cram some meetings together to get here. There was another movement from Chad's fingers and the doctor is hopeful. Lucy and Toby are upstairs."

"You're leaving? You're not staying longer?" Her fingers fidgeted on her purse straps. She does that when she's nervous. _Good_ , I didn't want her to think that things would be the same after she dumped me without giving me a chance to explain properly—another chance to prove that I did mean everything I said and promised her. I'm not going to be the considerate man that she once knew.

"I have to go to Rome for a few hours. I've been summoned by my uncle. I'll be back when I can."

"Oh, right. Um...have a safe flight then— _wait_ —do you want to go get some coffee before you leave? I haven't had one yet—"

"No. I'm busy. I have to go."

My rejection threw her off. Even when we were friends, I always succumbed to her wants—not anymore. I can't stand being in the same vicinity with her without wanting to strangle her. It's best that I leave before I say something I would regret later on.

I nodded and left her standing there, looking hurt and not knowing what to do. Striding towards the waiting black Bentley without looking back, I released a long breath as I slid inside it. Then I ordered Robert, my driver, to drive me to the office in South Bank to get some paperwork before leaving for the airport.

When I arrived at my office, my assistant Luke greeted me cordially. He was alerted the moment I stepped inside the building. I want every single branch that I own to run efficiently.

He handed me all the paperwork I needed to go through and briefed me with the ongoing progress in all branches of the company. After listening without interrupting him, I excused myself to go to the annex apartment I have inside my office. I could've easily gone to my own apartment, but I didn't; I simply can't. That place is haunted by memories of her. Her scent lingered everywhere in my room and I'm not ready to step in there, knowing full well that I won't recover if I do.

I welcomed the silence once I entered the annex apartment. It contains a massive king-sized bed, full shower, and a well-equipped kitchen with stainless steel appliances. The whole place is decorated with Sienna's solo portraits from Chad's show. I might _accidentally_ burn them all. There were six solo portraits—but Kyle, the bloody cretin, bought one–the one he kept staring at all evening. I'm sure the image reminds him of something significant—that's why we ended up fighting that night. I punched his jaw without a second thought after Chad informed me that Kyle purchased the portrait already _. "She's my girlfriend. Don't even think twice of trying to take her away from me. I will ruin you Matthews! I can easily ruin you."_ I remembered threatening him while others scrambled to exit the room.

_"She was mine first—don't you ever forget that you asshole! Once she realizes that you're just a fucking playboy and she's just one of the passing girls—she's going to run back to me! I'll always be here for her. That's how it's been and that's how it always will be. She hasn't been with anyone apart from me and you—what you guys have is lust not love, nothing else. Dude—get your shit together before you threaten me, you stupid British fuck!"_ He yelled and huffed angrily before storming out of the room.

Once he left, I felt helpless. What Sienna and I had—it was more than that. _I knew it_ —my heart knows it—my soul knows it. I felt it with her kisses and the way she looked at me. I tried to convince myself that what Kyle said didn't bear any fruit.

I had stood in the middle of the room staring at her decadent portrait, looking for answers. As if her eyes could tell me all her hidden secrets. How I wished I knew what they were.

I had taken a hold of her arm and linked it to mine, lightly tugging her to follow me out of the room and towards the gallery office.

I needed to be with her. I needed confirmation that she was mine and that she wouldn't leave me. I remembered _hoping_ that she would love me the way that I loved her.

Memories of that night tugged something inside. My eyes started to tear and I immediately composed myself. I cursed her portraits profusely before I headed towards the bathroom.

Call me a masochist, but I _needed_ to see her face once in awhile. My heart is turning into sinister dark ice, stone cold and black. I needed to be reminded—even if for only a second—that I once loved fully and fiercely with no boundaries. Glimpses of the future I once yearned for with her. The limited time I spent with her was the happiest I'd ever been since my parents were taken away from me.

I knew I fucked up when I didn't tell her about the arranged marriage. But she could've at least stayed, listened and given me the opportunity to fully explain myself. But she didn't—that's why I hate her. Her rejection when I proposed on the pavement in Covent Garden will forever be tattooed in my memory. I hate her for jumping ship.

I'm going to expand what my grandfather's father built. I'm going to exceed everyone's expectations and then some. I'm exceptional in what I do. It's the only thing I have control of, its outcome, its future.

Stepping out of the steam shower, I walked over to the medium-sized walk-in closet adjacent to the bathroom. The call from my uncle's wife, Seraphina, baffled me. If my uncle wanted to talk, he could've called himself. Is he sick?

Both of my maternal grandparents died before I was born. After mum died, he was the only relative I remained close to on my mother's side. My uncle, Luciano Vittori, was my mother's only brother–we catch up once or twice a year. He's a busy man as well–he runs the family vineyard in Tuscany. Luciano and Seraphina used to be such a happy couple; they once reminded me of my parents. But all that changed when my seventeen year old cousin, Alessandro, crashed his brand new Lamborghini into a tree going one hundred and twenty miles per hour on a curved road. Aunt Seraphina died that day as well. She was never the same. The sunny person turned solemn and bitter.

I dressed in a light blue dress shirt and black trousers. I need a shave but I don't have the time to do it. I need to get to Rome as soon as possible and get this over with.

The past two weeks have been such a nightmare. The news about Chad's suicide attempt took a toll on my sleep. I kept going in circles as I thought about his actions. The lively man who was once robust and full of life decided he no longer wanted to live. When I saw him earlier, I became angry. Why didn't any of us see this? Were we that selfish that we couldn't see our friend was going through pure utter hell?

Sienna adores Chad, we all do. But they were closer—they were each other's confidantes. Chad became a part of our circle, became a friend. The fact of him being gay didn't bother me a bit. True, Chad tends to be flamboyant, but that's just a part of him. The other major part that others, besides our group, can't see is the man behind the persona. The man who's devoted to the people he cares about. The gifted man, who has an eye for beauty and captures it exceptionally well, even though we were all close to him, somehow we still missed the man who was crying out for help, a man that was broken and felt so alone.

I knew all four us felt guilty; our faces said it all. The minute Chad comes out of his coma, I will keep a closer eye on him and make sure he gets all the help he needs. I know he will come through. That man may be broken right now—but he has the spirit of a fighter.

I summoned Robert to wait for me outside the building as I left my apartment. I started making phone calls, mentally delegating in my head which ones should be taken care of first and which ones could be done last. I have a photographic memory and I'm a whiz when it comes to numbers–I wouldn't have been nicknamed a "Modern day Einstein" by _Times_ magazine if I wasn't good at what I do.

I'm hoping to be back by seven tonight to see Chad again before I head out to Marbella tomorrow morning. I'm exhausted from all the country hopping—but I'd rather deal with that than with my emotions and thoughts.

Arriving at the airport, I got out of the car and climbed the stairs of my G650 Gulfstream jet, customized and fitted to my liking. I was greeted by a hot, willing stewardess–a beauty. I smiled back at her. I might need a distraction later.

Seated and situated, I dialed Toby. The moment he picked up, I forgot about the Nordic beauty hovering about the cabin. I had informed him about the flight to Italy earlier at the hospital and he seemed intrigued and asked what Luciano wanted; I told him I had no clue. I notified him that Luke would send him a few emails and that they needed to be gone through immediately. Before cutting off the call, I heard a familiar laugh in the background, _Sienna_. She was laughing at something Lucy had just said.

My heart contracted with the sound of her laugh; how I've missed that laugh. I pressed the bridge of my nose as I tried to reign in the emotions that had started to sprout about.

Damn, that _wretched_ witch of a woman.

But I'd rather die than admit that to her, or to anyone else. We were in the same circle of friends. We have to endure being in each other's company. I might as well get used to it. I will be seeing a lot of her very soon, when Chad wakes up.

# READ MORE...

TAKE ME TO CHASING IMPERFECTION LINKS

# The Torn Series

Scornfully Yours

* * *

By

Pamela Ann
**SCORNFULLY YOURS**

Copyright © 2013 by Pamela Ann

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

* * *

**Join & subscribe Pamela Ann's newsletter for updates, new releases and more: Newsletter**
"All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade."

Leo Tolstoy _, Anna Karenina_

# Prologue

It was official! I had fallen hopelessly in love with Carter after dating him for only a couple of months. It wasn't easy to come to terms with this realization knowing, with full certainty, that Carter Mason would not like this fact. He'd most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he found out.

In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing his feelings on love and relationships. "I don't do any of the hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don't do love or the happily ever after shit either."

_Yep_ , that's what he said, and I went ahead and jumped into bed with him anyway.

What woman would fall for a playboy who loathed the idea of love? I sure wasn't going to. Or so I thought.

Carter was the University of California–Santa Barbara's (or USCB) star forward on the soccer team. He was only a junior, but scouts from professional teams all over the world had already come to watch him play. They said he was the next 'big thing.' He was _that_ good!

Carter was tall, dark and handsome. He had thick, killer thighs and the nicest bottom you'd ever see. Not to mention the fact that he was dynamite between the sheets and the sweetest—if he was in the mood—boyfriend. Everyone adored Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe that I would even consider saying no.

Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn't mention what her brother's 'terms' were in our relationship. I was sure that if she knew, she wouldn't think it was 'love at first sight,' but more like 'lust at first glance.'

In the beginning, his rules were great—perfect even.

I mean, I couldn't have agreed more to them.

Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you were in college anyway? I certainly didn't.

I'd seen many women drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and too heartbroken to continue going to school. I certainly didn't want to become one of them, so Carter's _thing_ made sense.

_It did_ , until I fell in love with him.

Now, I wasn't so sure anymore.
**Who Ever Loved That Loved Not at First Sight?**

It lies not in our power to love or hate,

For will in us is overruled by fate.

When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,

We wish that one should love, the other win;

And one especially do we affect

Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:

The reason no man knows; let it suffice

What we behold is censured by our eyes.

Where both deliberate, the love is slight:

Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

_~Christopher Marlowe_

"Love is not a force between a mind and a body, but a force between two hearts. Your mind and eyes will never tell you when you feel true love, for only your heart can receive the true love that another heart sends directly to it."

_~Dr. Laurence J. Peter_

# Chapter Ninety

My phone vibrated and I fished it out of my purse.

Carter: _Baby, want to meet me for lunch?_

Crap, this was not good since I hadn't decided what I was going to do about him yet.

Me: _Sorry, can't. I have school stuff to do._

It was a half lie, technically, but what was I to do? I was still coming to terms with how I felt for him and I would probably freak out if I saw him right now.

My Human Sexuality class ended with a yawn. My teacher, Mrs. Crowley, was a total bore. To think I was ecstatic to enroll in this class. What a laugh!

I was surprised to see Lindsey outside, waiting for me when I got out of class. "Hey, what's up?"

"I need a 911 emergency therapy session. Let's do lunch then I'll tell you _all_ about it!" Her pretty pink, glossed lips pouted. I loved Lindsey to pieces, but she could be so emotional sometimes.

"Oh, okay, I'm starving anyway. What do you feel like having?"

"Tacos and margaritas!" she exclaimed.

We ended up at Los Agaves and ordered our usual However, after we'd ordered Lindsey stayed busy on her phone. She had waited on me outside of class before, _twice,_ actually, and both times were quite interesting. I was her emergency therapy person, which was why I was wondering what was taking her a while to speak up.

Lindsey Mason was not your average chick. She was a straightforward, no-nonsense kind of gal. She was quite smart, like MENSA kind of smart. We immediately got along when we became roommates and were best friends now. She was a sexy brunette and adored her brother more than anything.

Carter and Lindsey's parents died in a car crash seven years ago and their aunt and uncle adopted them. I knew she was close to them, but Carter didn't speak much about them at all. He rarely ever opened up. Well, actually, he _never_ did.

My relationship with Carter was mostly based on well, _sex_ and not much else; and oh my, _the sex..._ it was scorching hot and _so_ good! Just thinking about it made me blush.

Lindsey finally pushed her phone aside and clasped her hands on the table, trying to look serious, but failing because her eyes were twinkling with enthusiasm. With a big grin she spoke, "Brody wants to date me."

Brody Thompson was Carter's best bud—and quite a sweetheart—a smoking hot sweetheart to boot.

"And?" I dragged out my question, my excitement from her announcement evident on my face. I _knew_ it! I even teased her about it before. I saw how Brody had been checking her out, but she always played it off like I was imagining things.

"And... I'm thinking of saying, no?" Linds bit her full bottom lip while tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Okay, I didn't expect her to say 'no.'

"Um—why not Brody? I can't think of a reason why you wouldn't want to date him. He's nice... and cute!"

Lindsey leaned back and huffed. " _Why_ not _Brody?_ Okay, let me break this down for you. First, he's my brother's best friend. Second, we grew up together and I was friends with some of his ex's. Third, Brody's just not my type."

Not her type? _Was she crazy?_

"He is _so_ your type, Linds! Admit it—you don't have to be all coy." She was interrupted from responding when our waiter delivered our food. I took a lengthy sip of my refreshing strawberry margarita, letting my words sink in as I gave my friend a simpering smile.

"Fine, I was lying. I think Brody's hot, but he and I aren't happening. I know you're wondering why, but we just aren't, okay? I just wanted you to know because I might be skipping a few parties." That was odd. So, what if she was turning him down? Brody was not going to be a sore loser, was he?

"That's a little extreme, don't you think?" I took a big bite of my chicken taco and my tummy did a happy little merengue. God, I was starving!

She merely shrugged. "It is what it is, doll." Lindsey wiped off a little sauce from the side of her mouth with a white linen napkin and focused on me. "How are things between you and Carter? Still going strong? We were almost like sisters, if you thought about it." I coughed at her sentiment, _seriously?_

"It's not like _that_ with Carter and me. In fact, that's far from what we are. Truth be told, it's like having an exclusive bootie call with a dash of party scene involved," I bravely admitted the true nature of our relationship. It sucked to blurt the truth out, but no more hiding from it. It was black and white with no gray in between.

Lindsey finished her margarita and grabbed mine. _That was quick._ She held the stem of the glass and spoke with disdain. "Fucking Carter! I don't get why he's so afraid of commitment. I just want him to be happy. He could be great with women, but he's a complete shit to them instead. Are you happy with him, Em? I mean, with this cold, technical arrangement?" she asked as she annihilated my drink.

GAH!

I _was_ , but not anymore. I loved Carter, but shit would hit the fan if he knew. Carter was known to bounce out of a relationship for less. Ask the long line of broken-hearted females who made that very mistake.

"I am... I mean I _was,_ but I'm not too sure anymore. Carter's a great guy, Linds, but I don't think I want to be that girl anymore." I had always been a free spirit—not having a care in the world—I just wanted to have a good time, but now, things had changed and I wanted more out of my life.

Lindsey caught the waiter's attention and ordered two more drinks. Hmmm... why the need to get wasted during lunchtime, girlfriend? She usually only had one drink in the middle of the day.

"I support you in whatever decision you choose, but to be honest, if my brother can't give you his all, why the heck would you want to stay, _you know?_ " I nodded.

Good point. Yep. _Why should I stay?_

_Let's see, because you would go mad without him? You've been living and breathing the scent of the very sexy Carter Mason for the last three months; how do you figure on surviving without his ambrosial enticement?_

Fuck! Fuck! Could __ I really do it? It would go down in history, surely. I would be the first female to dump the hot jerk. Hot, but a jerk all the same!

Carter was not my first love. I had been in love before. His name was Lewis Grand and he was my high school sweetheart. It was cute and sweet—totally opposite of what I had with Carter. Lewis had been accepted to Harvard to study medicine, but before college, he planned to take a year or two to work with the underprivileged in Africa. Lewis was a great guy, but we both agreed that a long distance relationship wouldn't work for us. I was devastated and so lonely when we broke up after being together for four years, and I wasn't sure how to be single.

The summer before college, I became depressed. It was a dark, debilitating depression that kept me secluded from the world. In my moment of darkness, I realized that I wasn't mourning my relationship with Lewis, but the end of something that was sweet and comforting and familiar.

By the time I started college, I was slowly pulling myself from the darkness and I knew that I was ready to try to start living; to be happy again. Lindsey talked me into attending my first college party. I was wary about going, but I wanted to try and _live._ That's where I met Carter. Since I had been with him, I had slowly pulled out of my funk.

Dating him became a perfect solution to my loneliness; I didn't need another serious relationship. I just wanted something fun and jumping into bed with him seemed like the perfect thing to do. Carter was great and _hot damn_ the sex! He took me places that I didn't know existed. Lewis was good, but compared to Carter, he was mellow and tame. Now, though, my 'perfect idea' had just become a perplexing quandary.

After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class, which left me with a lot of unanswered questions. I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty, little, dark head of hers. At times, she could be very closed off; much like her brother. However, like the good friend I was, I didn't want to push the issue and pressure her into answers, knowing quite well that she was conflicted. I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me.

I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to clear my head. It was a warm, glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice, little, charming town that had a rustic Spanish feel to it. I had good memories of this town from trips with my family and friends growing up. That was why UCSB had been my first choice when I applied for college. It was close to home and at the same time, it gave me enough space to find myself and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life.

I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn't argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were relieved that I didn't plan to tag along with my boyfriend, Lewis, to Boston. My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they wanted their baby girl to stay close to home more than anything.

I parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel—it was necessary to have a beach towel and extra clothes with you at all times when you lived around here. With my purse and towel tucked under my arm, I trotted towards the shore and found a spot to lie out; somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tended to run wild—I feared getting stabbed to death or being kidnapped. Weird really, but I blamed it on watching too many _Bones_ and _True Blood_ episodes.

I made a blissful sigh before I spread myself out across my beach towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth. I loved the beach; it was the perfect escape from life. I wished that life was as easy as being here with the peaceful waves and the warm sand. I wished I could find the answer to my complicated situation with Carter.

It was a good thing I was wearing a faded denim skirt with a fitted, sleeveless cotton shirt because the sun's rays were beaming down from a cloudless sky and I wanted to consume as much sun as I could before fall rolled in. My tan made my cornflower blue eyes more noticeable and I thought that it made me look much better. As much as I loved being golden-hued though, I would never get an artificial one from a tanning bed. I had nothing against people who used them; it was just that some of them went overboard and managed to look like an Oompa Loompa. I would _so_ not look as good as an Oompa Loompa, so I'd rather stick to the real thing.

My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Grabbing it, I checked who the caller was.

_Carter._

Clearing my throat, I answered it, "Hey."

"Hey, I just saw Lindsey and she said you two had lunch. Why wasn't I invited? I would have loved to dine with my two favorite girls," he drawled and I couldn't hold myself back from rolling my eyes.

_I'm your favorite girl,_ _for now_ , I wanted to voice out, but held my tongue.

"Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What's up, Carter?" I wanted to sound bored and irritated, but my voice ended up sounding breathy.

"Just wondering what you're up to 'cause I'm free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like _coming over_ to chill a bit?" His voice deepened when he said, 'coming over.' It was basically his come-hither term for 'let's fuck.'

"Um, I don't know about that, Carter," I whispered. Sex would be a very bad idea. It would be like piling more shit on top of an already enormous pile.

I wanted to kick myself—if I could—for falling for the man. _I mean, come on, Emma!_ I scolded myself.

_Where the hell is your brain, huh?_

It was probably somewhat brain dead from mind-numbing orgasms.

As much as I loved Lewis when we were together, I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone wild and unrestricted—someone without limits or boundaries—who didn't have a care in the world. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes met. I was screwed; in more ways than one. Literally.

He grunted on the other end, frustrated.

"I haven't seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS! This is the longest I haven't seen you," Carter started to sound irritated.

I guess two days without sex could really make a man grumpy.

"I've been... busy," I said hesitantly, but he wasn't buying the crap I was spewing.

" _Busy?_ You've been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven't been busy. Why don't you come over? Maybe it's high time we talk."

_And here it is_...

Doomsday was here.

I waited a beat or two before I replied, "I'll see you in an hour." Yeah, an hour would be enough time to come up with some kind of a plan and recharge my battery. Maybe.

"In _an_ **** hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you." He was heated. Carter was angry and his underlying threat was quite clear. My time was up and it was time to face the music and dance.

"Got it," I responded and quickly ended the call.

I knew Carter had a mean temper. He wanted to see me pronto and I needed to show up. I didn't doubt for a second that he would follow through with his threat.

He was notorious for his bar fights and his road rage. One time, we were stopped at a stoplight and when the light turned green, the driver in front of us didn't move because he was too caught up in his phone conversation. Carter didn't even blink twice before he got out of his SUV, cussed the guy out and managed frighten him so badly, the man was on the verge of tears.

Yep, Carter had a problem with his temper, and I didn't want to push his buttons further to see how far he'd take that temper of his.

"I can usually tell if a man is emotionally unavailable by my instant attraction to them."

_~Author Unknown_

# Chapter Ninety-One

After another forty-five minutes, I decided it was time to leave. I gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter.

Carter had bought a four-bedroom villa that overlooked the beach where his friends, Brody and Cooper, rented rooms from him. It was quite close to Main Street where the bars, clubs, restaurants and all types of shops were located.

I parked my car just outside his house, killed the engine and took a deep breath. "Showtime," I muttered under my breath as I opened my car door.

The guys never locked the main door so I turned the doorknob and pushed the heavy, white door open. The house was actually quiet for the first time since I'd known the trio. They usually had a crowd of people lounging and hanging around.

_Where was everyone?_

"Good of you to finally show up!" Carter announced from atop the landing only wearing a pair of cargo shorts. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display and his dark hair had droplets of water in it like he had just come out of the shower.

I salivated like a bitch in heat.

_Fuck, this is not going as planned!_

"I'm five minutes early. What more do you want?" I asked, in a mere whisper. The emptiness of the house made my hushed tone quite loud.

He took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, carefree swag as he walked towards me. It sucked! The man didn't even have to _try_ to look hot, he just was. Like air equaled breathing, water equaled drinking; Carter Mason equaled SEXing. It was quite absurd. I despised the fact that he held such power over me and was mystified as to how I had let that happen.

He continued his lazy saunter until he was right before me, his _almost_ bare-naked, glorious body stood only a foot away as he studied me quietly. "What more do I _want_ , Emma?" he parroted my question back to me. "I want you to be honest."

He wanted honesty? Right, then I'd give it to him... somewhat.

"I don't think I can do this with you anymore," I managed to whisper. His gaze was penetrating, never leaving my eyes.

" _Why_? What's changed? You were fine the last time we were together. If I recall correctly, you were _more_ than fine. You were insatiable and didn't want me to leave your side—you even followed me into the shower. What was it that you said? _Oh right_ , 'because you missed me.' So, from that type of adoration to 'I don't think I can do this anymore,' tell me, _what's changed?_ "

My brows furrowed. _Fuck!_ Dammit, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? That was sickening.

_What do I tell him?_ I was panicking and couldn't conjure any reason at the moment other than the real truth. I wasn't a raving idiot, I was not going to confess my undying love and humiliate myself.

"It's just not working out, Carter." God, that was the best I could do? I really sucked at this.

He moved a little closer. "That's not really telling me much, Em. Do you expect me to let you go," he snapped his fingers, "just like that?"

Well, yeah. "Sort of," I uttered.

I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scent hit me like a brick. Fuck, my body was shaking and my senses were taking over.

_This is so bad, stop it_ , I scolded my lascivious body.

"That's where you're wrong. This body," the back of his forefinger grazed the telltale outline of my erect nipples, "responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren't visible." He pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. "But the second I stood before you... your body betrayed you... it acknowledges the kind of power I have over you."

So my nipples, had what... a _Carter detector?_ I groaned.

He moved in on me, his hand immediately went under my short denim skirt and he caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. "Carter..." I hesitated, knowing full well where this was going.

"Let's stick to what we're good at Emma and that's indulging each other's needs, hmmm?" His wet, hot tongue ran along the back of my ear to the base of my neck. Fuck! My entire body shivered and broke out in goose bumps. In the time it took me to process what was happening, he had squatted down and parted my legs. His expert finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds.

Panting, I whispered, "Carter... someone might come back! We can't do this out here for everyone to see!" I tried to be the voice of reason but _hell..._ my traitorous body loved the feel of him; loved being with Carter like this again.

Love totally sucked. Not only did it make you feel powerless, but it made you stupid, too.

Carter's tongue was heated and rushed then his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Dammit, his gifted tongue was like a whirlpool, full of ferocious intensity and it most definitely sucked you in. It had the capability to pull me into its dark depths, free-falling without a life raft to hang on to. My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it while I moaned and writhed during his artful ministrations.

He hooked my left leg over his shoulder, making me even more frenzied and incoherent. At that point, I could not have cared less if his friends walked in on us like that. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to simmer from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was mere seconds away from convulsing when he stopped.

_God dang it! What now?!_

Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. _My beautiful Adonis_ , I thought as my eyes devoured the creature before me. His throbbing cock was gleamed in the sun's rays that filtered through the windows. I licked my lips when I gazed at his sheer masculine beauty. The energy between us was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor.

It was always like this with him, with us.

It was just sex and more sex and nothing in between. No talks about the future. No hearts and butterflies, just as he had promised.

My eyes looked deep into his... _I love you_ , I thought.

He didn't even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were parted already, he jammed his cock inside me with haste. _Damn_ , my body exulted at the very feel of him. Carter's passionate fucking bordered on fervid, senseless mating. He had a way of setting me ablaze, burning me up with heat and need for him.

Him alone.

I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled deeper inside me. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful, hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered into euphoric ecstasy.

"Caaaarteeeer!" I screamed over and over again. My screams vibrated throughout the house, maybe even the entire neighborhood, but I didn't care. What mattered was the hard pounding I was getting.

I panted as my orgasm convulsed through my body, tightening around his thick cock. My vaginal walls squeezed the length of his manhood, driving him even further with an intense need for completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screamed my name when he unloaded his seed inside me. He grunted and grumbled something incoherent. My mind was blank as he pulsated inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor.

He buried his head deeply into the crook of my neck as I listened to the heaviness of his breathing and fought the urge to cry—from loving him so much and wanting something I could never have.

Doom and gloom.

I tried to move, but he wouldn't let me. Both of his hands were securely planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me and preventing me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths, but I couldn't read them.

"There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when _I_ say it ends. You got that?" Bossy. Domineering. I wanted to just punch him.

I got that, loud and clear, mister. It was pretty apparent that this relationship I had with him changed the moment I fell in love with the jackass and I couldn't keep hurting anymore.

"Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together," I blurted out, a technical lie. True, Lewis wanted to try again, but I never wanted to. At this point, though, I'd do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man.

" _I beg your pardon?_ " he uttered in his most deadly tone. He moved closer and I held myself back from moaning.

I didn't care if I made him angry anymore. I was past caring. "You heard me. Don't make me say it again."

"Was this your goodbye fuck then?" He nudged his hips forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our session, but I could feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth.

_OH. MY_.

"You're the one who started it, but sure, if you want to call it _that_. You can _un_ - _sheath_ yourself from me now," I ordered as his wicked eyes twinkled.

"Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can _un-sheath_ myself." He smiled as he unceremoniously picked me up and carried me up the flight of stairs and into the master bedroom.

Stupid me, I hadn't voiced a word because his dangerous demeanor excited the hell out of me. I was hopeless, wasn't I?

# ~E~

After two hours of long ardent lovemaking, he finally relented. What a blissful two hours they were, too.

Carter licked, kissed and fucked me to make a point. He was harsh and tender at the same time. His dark eyes never left me. Whatever was going through that beautiful head of his, I would never know.

We lied naked against the sheets and both stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn't even bother holding me like he usually did after sex. It was break-up sex, I knew, but it still hurt all the same. His distance hurt me. It was just sex to him—nothing more. I guess, a small part of me hoped he'd beg me not to end this and show me some kind of emotion.

Carter sat up and planted his feet on the floor. His rippled back looked so enticing. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and trail kisses along his spine, but my legs, which were still slightly parted, were vibrating and quivering after being stretched and used to capacity for the past couple of hours.

Not once did he kiss me today; it was not really his thing, but he had obliged me a few kisses here and there before. I sighed with sadness; the heaviness on my chest never left me the entire time I was with him.

He suddenly stood up and headed to the bathroom, but stopped mid-stride. Without looking at me, he spoke, "You can gather your things and go now, Em. Thanks for the great sex. I'll see you around." His voice was curt, deadpan, uncaring.

_Thanks for the great sex?_ Mother Fucker! The nerve! Why couldn't he just say, "I'll see you around?" Cold, but I'd rather take that than him thanking me for great sex. Fuck, I felt like a cheap tart. I couldn't even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt and in utter shock. I mean, I knew he was an insensitive prick, but I hoped to have a civilized parting.

Stupid, stupid asshat!

Hot, salty tears threatened to spill from my azure orbs and it took all of my inner strength to keep them at bay. The stupid prick didn't deserve my tears. Even one drop would be too much to bestow upon the horrid rat!

I shot out of bed and immediately searched for my discarded clothing. "FUCK!!! Where the hell is my underwear?" I screeched as I scampered around, hunting down my tiny thong.

Ugh, the miniscule piece was on the foot of the bed, ripped to shreds. _Huh, I didn't recall them being torn,_ I thought, annoyed.

I'd die if he came out of the shower and found me still waiting here, pondering about him, about us, like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell! I haughtily left his house and slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn't come off its hinges.

With my gloom and doom demeanor, I drove back to the dorms.

UCSB was not only known for its good programs, but was also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. _Oh yeah_ , I planned to hit the party circuit hardcore, not tonight, though.

Tonight, I planned to lick my wounds, recharge and shuffle the riotous order that was racking my brain.

I had dumped him, hadn't I? Then, why did it feel like he was the one who dumped me? Damn him! That farewell parting sealed it for him. I guess you could say he won. Carter was insufferable.

News of my break-up with Carter would spread like a bad wildfire on a windy California day. The women would rejoice once more. Their famed stud was back on the market. I'd have to mentally prepare myself for what that would entail for me. I'd have to watch him find his new fuck buddy amongst the onslaught of awaiting women who wanted a piece of our school's hottest athlete.

Carter Mason was now single and ever so ready to mingle.

Would my heart be able to bear it when he found someone new?

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

~William Shakespeare

# Chapter Ninety-Two

"Rise and shine princess!" Lindsey pulled the down comforter off me.

I groaned. _Not today, Lindsey! I can't bear to face the world. Let me just wallow for a few more days_ , I silently begged my friend.

"Leave me alone, Linds!" I turned the other way, curling up with my favorite feather pillow.

"Suit yourself." I heard a thud on my side table.

The smell of coffee hit my sleepy senses. _Oh, darn it_. She knew me well; I couldn't resist my morning cup of Joe. Evil, evil woman.

Lindsey sat on the side of my bed and squeezed my arm. "The news is out babe. You're officially axed! Now we should get you in good condition to come party tonight, bueno?"

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Her words sunk in and my gut started to churn. Carter and I were no more.

_Finito._

_Kaput._

_Dead._

I guessed I should have been thankful that I got out of that relationship in one piece? But it didn't feel like it.

"What time is it?" I sat up and greedily grabbed the hot coffee. My palms cradled it as I took a cautious sip. I smiled when I saw Lindsey wearing her usual house garb; a skimpy thong and a long fitted cami.

"It's almost noon. The girls plan to head out later tonight and party in Hollywood. I already booked us a suite at Chateau Marmont for our little getaway." She winked with a mischievous smile plastered on her face.

"You're on, lady!" I tried to sound excited. Just because Carter Mason and I were done, didn't mean I was going to let him push me into the darkness again. Maybe going out of town would be the best solution.

"Good, 'cause I'm not letting you mope around here while my stupid brother runs around town looking all chummy and unaffected," Lindsey muttered and left my room.

_I bet he was_ , I thought angrily. Carter wouldn't be known as a notorious playboy if he weren't an insensitive jerk.

With a heavy heart, I got up and headed to the bathroom to shower. I wasn't going to let him see me hurt. I was going to try to live my life like he didn't matter. It would be hard, but I could do it.

The old soppy and nostalgic Emma was gone. That Emma ended last night.

It was Saturday and I decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi at the nearest spa. If we were hitting the joints of Hollywood tonight, I couldn't appear raggedy and have that _I'm broken_ look' hanging on me. Carter certainly didn't deserve that. Even though my heart made a huge mistake falling for a man like Carter Mason, I certainly would not allow my pride to be trampled by him. At least in that, I got to have a choice.

Carter was not the only man on this planet and I was quite positive I would get over him. Life was about stages and phases. I wasn't going to dwell on my mistakes. Didn't we have to kiss tons of frogs before we ended up with the prince?

By six, I was ready to go. I was wearing a black, short, frilly skirt that I matched with a red, skintight, halter-top. I finished my ensemble with my favorite Louboutin lace booties. There was nothing much I could do with my short, blonde hair so I left it alone. For my make-up, I went for the smoky-eyed look and swiped soft pink lipstick and lip gloss on.

I used my pinky to touch up a spot on the outside of my lip that had a little smudge of color. Eyeing myself from side to side I mumbled, "I suppose this will do."

"You're a knockout, Em. No need to double check it," Lindsey spoke from behind me. I grinned at my friend, who I could always count on to bring my spirits up. "The other girls already left in a separate car. I thought it would be best that we drive there by ourselves and meet them at the restaurant. They tend to go a little crazy when we're all together and I don't want to have any fights tonight." "The girls" consisted of Amber, Trista and Cece. They were cool party friends, but Cece had a jealous streak, and Linds and Cece went _way back_ from high school.

"Uh, thank goodness. I don't think I can deal with you and Cece sparring with words all night," I said, agreeing with her.

Oh, and did I mention Cece had a thing for Carter? Yeah, she didn't seem too keen on me either. However, Amber and Trista were pretty cool and fun to hang out with. Lindsey introduced me to their little group and I became friends with them, too; well, except for Cece, _of course_.

We took Lindsey's BMW X5 and joined the chaos that was the 101 Freeway. It was Saturday and traffic was usually dreadful on the weekends. What should be an hour drive to Los Angeles could take two or three hours.

"We should've left earlier and checked in at the hotel rather than drive at this hour," Lindsey, frustrated, agreed with my thoughts.

Why didn't we think of that ingenious idea earlier?

I picked up her iPod and scrolled through her songs. "Play 'Ooh Ooh Baby' by Britney," she requested with excitement.

Another revelation, we jammed to Britney Spears. I mean, Britney did have some good party songs, _Toxic_ anyone? As much as I loved my mainstream pop music, I liked the 'trip-hop' genre and lots of alternative rock more.

I checked my phone for the umpteenth time with disappointment. Sullen, I leaned back and closed my eyes. _What did I expect?_ Carter wasn't the groveling type. He didn't chase women. It was the other way around.

It took us an hour and forty-five minutes to arrive in L.A. A feeling of excitement rushed through me as we exited Sunset Boulevard. The plan was for us to dine at a famous sushi restaurant and go clubbing at the Greystone Manor Nightclub then check-in at the hotel after.

Lindsey left her car with the valet outside the famed restaurant and I waited as she joined me. "Damn, Linds. I didn't realize your dress was so revealing!" She just waved her hand carelessly at me.

Her dress was super tight and had one of those diamond shaped-cut holes in the middle, exposing her belly button. If Cece would have worn this dress, she would've looked like a tart, but on Lindsey, it looked amazing; she looked like one of those snobby fashionistas. She carried herself with great certainty and a classy air of which I was jealous. I honestly didn't think she had any insecurity. I applauded her for that. Sometimes, it rubbed off on me and I _loved_ it!

The girls were already seated inside the restaurant and it didn't take long for us to get rowdy. Dinner took about two hours and even Cece was playing nice and being civilized. It was a relief to see the other side of her; her bitchiness was starting to bore the hell out of me.

By the time we got to the nightclub, we were in high spirits. The club was a celebrity hotspot and the line to get in snaked around the building, but thanks to Amber's connections, we didn't have to wait in it. Our fake I.D.'s weren't even checked.

It was almost midnight and the place was starting to get crowded. We were seated on one of the lounge's damask covered couches. The club was decorated in a neo-Renaissance theme that had a gothic-like feel. It was like the old and new Hollywood meshing together. The outcome was outstanding; it was stylishly posh and had a decadent atmosphere. I studied the place in wonderment. The décor alone probably cost millions. It was luxurious and sexy. Even the people here were sexy and beautiful. _What did I expect?_ This was Hollywood territory after all.

There was a commotion on the other side of the room. Trista blushingly whispered that Bass Cole was here. Everyone became excited, even Lindsey. I just shook my head at Cece's overeager enthusiasm. The poor woman looked like she was hyperventilating. I could just tell what was going through that head of hers.

Okay, maybe I was a little piqued. Okay. Total lie. _I was super psyched!_ Fucking Bass Cole in the house! Gah!

_Who wouldn't be?_ Bass Cole was one of Hollywood's most sought after movie stars and an everlasting heartthrob. His movie career blew up a couple years ago when he made one of those vampire movies and he's been a household name ever since. I admit, I saw the movie a few times, but don't remember much of it. _Was he a good actor?_ I didn't know. _Was the movie any good?_ No clue either. The only thing that stuck with me was Bass Cole was a hot piece of yummy handsomeness. All blond hair, tanned skin and the most striking blue eyes I'd ever seen were all I could conjure in my head. That about summed it up, I believed. Pathetic, wasn't it?

"God, I have to meet him! I love his movies and he's just _so_ hot!" Cece squealed and started to fan her cheeks furiously.

Uhm, I was sure she was going to try in earnest to get past all the people around him; good luck with that! Cece loved attention and she would do anything to be in the spotlight. She was, after all, an aspiring actress and she actually had a part as an extra a few times on some TV shows, but nothing major. I once joked that if she auditioned for _Playboy_ , she would be instantly hired. I remembered her murderous glare when I made that statement. _I mean, come on!_ Cece has 34 DD implants so when you spoke to her; all you saw were those big, hard jugs.

We were served a bucket filled with a large selection of bottled alcoholic beverages. Trista opened the bottles and started to mix drinks for everyone. By the looks of things, we were all going to get hammered tonight. Trista handed us her concoction.

Amber stood up. "I just want to make this toast to my newly, single friend, Emma. No guy is worth moping over, baby!" she screamed through the blaring music.

Oh, dearest! Did we need to make everyone here aware of that?

The rest of them hooted in agreement. "CHEERS!!!"

I cringed when I tasted the concoction Trista made. _Holy crap_ , this shit was deadly! I wasn't planning on puking my way out of the club tonight, thank you. Placing the potent mix back on the table, I glanced at my selections. I chose a bottle of champagne and poured a glass for myself. I made a satisfying sigh when the bubbles worked their magic. _Light, fizzy bubbles I could do_ , I thought contently.

Trista and Amber went dancing and Cece left to go manhunt. It was a typical girls' night out. Except Lindsey was stuck to her phone. Not typical.

"Brody again?" I asked just loud enough for her to hear me.

She nodded. "He's pissed off at me. He's drunk-texting." She waved the screen at me. I mouthed an "Oh" and she merely shrugged. She looked a bit bothered. _Maybe she felt something more than she let on?_ I wondered.

I hate those. I used to do that a lot... with Carter. I would send hateful and spiteful messages and he would always end up at my doorstep. I would open the door and he would just barge in there and take me to my room. It was crazy, but at the same time, I lived for those exhilarating moments of madness.

Amber came back with two cute guys. Trista, on the other hand, grabbed my hand and ushered me to the dance floor. I glanced back at Lindsey to invite her to come with us, but she was talking to one of the men.

The club was playing some popular dance music and it didn't take long for Trista and I to start swaying and dancing to the beat.

Trista leaned over and yelled in my ear. "I'm glad you came out with us tonight. I'm sorry about what happened with Carter, _but you know_ , it's Carter." She smiled.

Yup, it was Carter. No need to emphasize what that meant.

"Yeah, good riddance! It was starting to become mundane." I fibbed with great confidence. Trista smiled; the lights making her red hair and green eyes light up. I didn't think I had ever seen Trista sad or angry. She was always so damn cheery. How could anyone be so fucking cheery all the time? That must be exhausting, surely?

When my favorite song came on, I let loose and danced my hips and ass off. _Tonight was going to be my night!_ I thought ferociously.

Fuck Carter Mason. Fuck his hot tight ass that made me drool. Fuck his stupid swagger and sexy smirk. _No more!_ I screamed in my head as I danced with my eyes closed, feeling the beat vibrate through my body.

My breath caught when I felt a big hand capture my side.

I immediately tensed.

OH NO. DID CARTER FOLLOW US HERE?

"Can I dance with you?" a deep voice asked from behind me—a hot, masculine drawl that made my toes curl and my insides melt and quiver.

_OH._

My eyes snapped open.

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching."

_~Randall G. Leighton_

# Chapter Ninety-Three

I hastily turned around and found the one and only Bass Cole staring me down with his azure eyes. I stared back, star-struck and dumbfounded.

With my mouth wide open, I thought wildly, _Bass Cole is right in front of me!_

TALKING. TO. ME.

_Wow_ , just wow! His sheer beauty totally caught me off guard. His movies didn't do him justice. My heated gaze landed on his soft, full pink lips. _Does he bite just as good as it looked in that movie?_ I wondered. His lips looked tempting.

He was tall; about six foot three. His dirty blond, bed-head hair looked so _deliciously_ sexy. Bass Cole was armed with the most sultry, lazy smile I had ever encountered, topped with some fucking adorable dimples. I was drooling on the spot.

_My, I'm tongue-tied. Can anyone be allowed to be this arrestingly beautiful?_

I stood frozen, not comprehending what the fuck Bass Cole just asked me. _Holy shit!_ He was even more perfect up close. _Get it together before you embarrass yourself!_ I chided my brain to fully function.

I was still reeling, but recovered a bit from the initial shock. Not saying a word, I spun around and held his hand that was clutching my hip. My soft hand held his large, masculine one. The touch sent electric currents up my arm. _God, I'm dying here!_ I thought as Bass firmly held me as we danced in synchronization, grinding and swaying erotically. His hand tightened on me as his free one started to caress my other side. _Goodness_ , _the man moves in quickly!_

_And man, doesn't he feel perfect. Argh!_

_Fuck you, Carter!_ I thought as I danced with Bass.

With his heated body grinding against mine, I got a whiff of his cologne and wanted to die on the spot. You see, I had a thing for a man's scent. I hated how some men used crazy strong cologne or a strong repulsive deodorant—it was a total turnoff. Bass Cole smelled like... well... perfection?

I knew you couldn't smell perfection, but I knew if you could, it would smell just like him. It was pure masculine with a hint of... citrus? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that it was an intoxicating blend of pure heady perfection.

When the song ended, I hesitantly moved away. _Time to let go of my erotic fantasy_ , I begrudgingly thought as I gave him a great big smile and a little wave. "It was great to meet you. Have a lovely night!" I called out to his taken aback expression.

Bass immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "Wait. Do you want to join me and my friends at my table?" he invited, gesturing where his friends—who had all witnessed our intimate impromptu dance—were located.

Err, no. As hot as he was, flirting with Bass would not be the greatest idea. I knew I wanted to have fun tonight but Bass Cole... was, well... Bass Cole! It was rather overwhelming.

"I'm good. Thank you though." I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't budge.

"Okay, well can I invite myself to join you then?" Bass gave me another lazy smile.

God, his smile was freaking blinding! It was simply melting my resolve. "If you want to, I guess," I replied, unsure.

What he did next seriously made me smile and tingle all over.

"I'm Bass Cole." He gave me his hand to shake. _Really?_ I was sure he knew everyone in the club knew who he was. _But still_ , he was being nice. Darn, this guy was a total charmer.

"Emma Anderson." When I gave him my hand, I had expected him to shake it, but instead, he took it to his lips and kissed it. I gasped at the mere brush of his soft lips.

_Easy there, Lucian the hot vampire!_ I swooned. No wonder this man was one of Hollywood's finest! He went in for the kill without qualm.

Bass Cole's eyes looked entertained. I was sure this was quite the norm for him. Unexpectedly, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I want you, Emma Anderson."

I swallowed, hard.

Wow. He was really, _really_ forward! I supposed things were done fast-paced around this town. I wasn't accustomed to it and I didn't plan to start tonight.

"I'm not going to have sex with you, you know. If that's what you're after, you're going to have to look elsewhere," I said with all seriousness and I meant it.

His eyes gleamed with pure amusement. "As much as that thought appeals to me right now, Emma Anderson, I don't have sex on first dates either."

His lazy smile got wider at my confused expression. Huh? A date?

"What date? We just met. This is obviously not a first date!"

"Oh, but it will be, Emma. It definitely will be," Bass whispered in my ear. The thumping music immediately vanished around me, his touch and voice dominated my senses. He softly chuckled at my frozen state. "So, want to introduce me to your friends?" He pointed a finger at my table and I saw that my friends were gaping at us with avid curiosity.

He was coming on to me _so hard_ I barely had time to think. Not a very good sign, if you asked me.

"Sure. I know someone who will be _very_ interested to meet you." I thought of Cece and how badly she wanted to meet him. Maybe those two could get together. Bass certainly wanted to hook-up with someone tonight. _Why not Cece?_

With my hand still intertwined with his, Bass guided us towards my table. When we got there, all the girls were giggly and excited to meet him.

"Guys, this is Bass, as all of you know already." My heart sped up when he squeezed my hand. "This is Cece, Trista, Amber and my good friend, Lindsey."

"Hello, ladies. Glad to make your acquaintance." Bass gave them his mega-watt smile and Cece and Trista sighed. I looked at all of their faces, a little embarrassed and a little amused by them. Bass definitely had fans at this table.

I slid inside the booth and Bass followed suit. Cece, who was sitting across from us, got out of her seat and sat next to Bass. _Here goes Operation Shameless Cece_ , I thought amusingly. I thought these two would get on _just_ fine. 'Player meets player' equaled perfect harmony.

I tried to pull my hand away from his grasp, but he clutched it tighter. What was it with this man? I needed some sort of privacy—even if it was just for a second.

Cece was talking animatedly about her plans of being a movie star to Bass and I caught Amber rolling her eyes; bored from listening to Cece's blabbering. Amber immediately got up and took Trista with her; the guys they met earlier were outside smoking and they were heading out to find them. I wished I was that brazen when it came to men, but I was known to get shy at the most uncertain times. Maybe it was because I wasn't really that experienced. I mean, apart from Lewis and Carter, I hadn't dated or had sex with anyone else.

Lindsey nudged my arm. "Total upgrade from my brother. I approve." She winked.

"You're crazy. I'm not hooking up with an actor who has a playboy reputation. Don't you think your brother traumatized me enough?" I quipped back, just loud enough for her to hear me.

A cell phone flashed brightly on the damask couch and I saw Brody's name on the screen. I glanced at Lindsey, who was nervously biting her lip. "Doll, Brody's here. Outside. He wants to talk. He's being very persistent and I just agreed to see him. The hotel room at the Chateau is under both our names so you can check in anytime; that is, if you get back before I do. Call me anytime, okay?" She leaned back and looked anxious.

With my free arm, I gave her a quick hug and kiss. "Give him a chance. He's a good guy, babe," I urged. I wanted her to see reason, but something was holding her back.

"It doesn't matter." She got up and gave Bass and Cece a quick goodbye and sauntered towards the exit.

I glanced back at the two people who were left with me as they chatted animatedly. I almost choked on a laugh when I saw Cece push her fierce boobs forward, giving Bass a great view of her rack. The two seemed to be getting friendly. They even shared a laugh or two when I was talking to Lindsey. _Maybe they are hitting it off_.

Time to move it, I supposed.

I didn't want to see them in action. _Why's that?_ _I thought you didn't want Bass?_ My fucking thoughts countered. Who knew really? What I _did_ know, though, __ was that I didn't want to watch it happen. Bass Cole was my wet dream come to life and I had gladly handed him to Cece—or she jumped on the opportunity more like it. Given my circumstances, I couldn't just throw caution to the wind and sleep with Bass, as he had hinted at earlier. It felt too early for me; I needed a time-out.

Imagine my frustration when he wouldn't let go of my hand when I tried to pull away, yet again. "Bass, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Let me take you," he suggested. I looked at him like he had grown horns.

"No, thanks. I'm good." He let go of my hand and I instantly scrambled to my feet.

Since I really didn't need to use the restroom, I opted to seek out Amber and Trista. Why did I feel the need to excuse myself from Bass' presence? Well, it could possibly be that he was way too much of everything for my palette. _Sure_ , he was drop dead gorgeous, but hadn't I just gotten out of a hot mess?

When I finally found the girls, they were already engrossed in conversation with their chosen men. I would have felt like an intruder if I had joined their cozy tête-à-tête. Without Lindsey as my sidekick, I felt like a fifth wheel.

I sighed, feeling lost and defeated. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. _Maybe it was a bad decision to come out tonight,_ I thought sullenly.

"Hey, why are you all sad?" a man's voice asked, a stranger.

I counted a few times before I fluttered my eyes open. An attractive, dark male was smiling down at me. I lifted my brow. "What makes you think I'm sad, _stranger?_ "

He gestured his palm over his face. "You have this look about you. Guy problems, isn't it?" HUH? Was I that obvious to onlookers? _I really am officially PATHETIC_ , I thought with disgust.

"Possibly," I shot back. What was the point in lying? Didn't they say it was easier to talk to strangers about your problems because you'd never see them again?

"I think that you're too caught up with your emotions and you can't see the truth behind the façade. I think you should talk to him and clear the air, but once you do, a set of forbidding forces will be working against you. Another man or _two_ will seek for your love and attention. Be prepared; I am warning you. Your heart's pure, but know that this world sets out to taint the purest ones. Be strong and remember never to lose faith in yourself once it happens," the dark stranger voiced out grimly.

_What in the world is he talking about?_ How the hell did he know these things? Did people randomly say these things to strangers? So freaky and odd. "You don't know what you're talking about." I warily eyed the dark man who seemed to be full of knowledge.

"Maybe I do. I'm a psychic. It's what I do for a living and I can tell what's bothering you. I advise that you talk to him and go prepared. Your life is about to change; it will knock you back a few times before you see the truth. The man who will wholeheartedly deserve your love is the man who will be there at your lowest, the one who loves you in all your shades—the light, the hued and the dark." He gently squeezed my arm and left.

_What?_ After all that shit load of crap, he left? My mouth was gaping open as I watched him walk away and join the mass of the dancing crowd.

_What the hell just happened? Were psychics even real? Wasn't Miss Cleo a big hoax? She was... but that didn't mean they didn't really exist..._

_Weird_ , this entire evening was getting so freaking weird! It was like being in a low budget horror film, with me starring in the role of the unsuspecting victim about to be eaten by a zombie. _That was it!_ Surely this weirdness was a telltale sign to 'get the fuck out of here?' I didn't want to be eaten by zombies. Maybe it was time to get a move on and go back to the hotel. I could just nurse my broken heart for another night watching _The Notebook_. I felt totally drained and depleted.

Resigned, I weaved my way towards the entrance of the building. There was a heavy crowd tonight and it was difficult to move past the throng of people without bumping into them. I almost sighed with relief when I saw the exit, but a strong arm gripped me and tugged me into a darkened corner.

"What the fu—" I halted mid-sentence when Bass turned me around and placed a finger on my lips, hushing me. I swallowed. I bit back my tongue from snaking out and licking his finger.

His close proximity wasn't helping my jumbled brain. His eyes darkened as he studied my lips. _Shit, he's killing me here_. His thumb grazed my bottom lip and I held back the urge to wet my suddenly dry puckers.

His breathing hitched and when he did speak, it was raspy and seductive. "Call me crazy—call me _anything_ you like—but I want to get to know you, Emma. Give me the rest of the night to get to know you. The moment my eyes spied you tonight, I was mesmerized and I can't let you walk away." My eyes looked into his, seeking answers, seeking reason.

"I don't know about that, Bass." Was this about sex again? Hadn't I declined him?

"Tonight, _just tonight..._ that's all I ask, Emma. I know you barely know me, but I give you my word, I will not do anything you don't want me to do, I promise," Bass assured me.

He would be an honorable gentleman? Hmm.

Was I crazy? This hot movie star wanted to get to know me and here I was contemplating whether I should agree or not. What was wrong with me?!

"Why? What do you have in mind?" I asked, needing assurance. I was still mending my broken heart. I couldn't possibly let loose and be with another man straight away, even if it _was_ Bass Cole who wanted me to lose it with him.

"All I want to do is talk and enjoy your company, nothing more." The heartthrob even managed to look desperate. _Damn_ , he was a good actor.

"Fine, as long as you _keep_ your promise, okay? No sex of any kind or shit will turn very ugly," I warned him, but he just gave me his mega-watt smile.

"Thank you, Emma Anderson. I promise you won't regret this." His finger traced my bottom lip again, ever so slowly.

_Shove me in the burning furnace, why don't you?_

"You better," I croaked back.

His gentle brush made me a little breathless. _Wasn't I in love with Carter? Then, why did Bass make me feel like this and make me forget that Carter existed?_ Carter Mason. He was possibly somewhere in Santa Barbara... quite __ possibly nestled in between a woman's legs.

My thoughts were diffused as Bass held me tighter. He pressed his hard muscled body against mine. His delicious scent overpowered me, making me think of his skin, his taste and those unforgettable lips. My whole body shivered from being this close to him.

"Exquisite beauty," Bass rasped out, staring at me with dilated eyes.

Slowly, his hand caressed my neck and jaw with soft gentle strokes. It was driving me senseless with want and need. His touch utterly seared me; my skin was on high alert and sensitive to his touch.

_Oh, fucking hell,_ I freaked _._

I gulped down what little saliva I had when he pressed against me, his face next to mine.

"I told you we would have our first date tonight," he whispered intoxicatingly into my ear. His hot breath brought a soft moan from my lips.

_Dear Almighty, what have I gotten myself into?_

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

_~Herman Hesse_

# Chapter Ninety-Four

Bass was on his phone when we emerged from the club, but he stayed close to me with his strong arm holding my hips. A black Escalade pulled up in front of us almost immediately and a few cameras flashed out of nowhere, nearly blinding me.

Paparazzi were everywhere.

"Bass, who's your date tonight? She's hot!" a guy asked and flashed his camera at us.

"Good choice tonight, Bass. Is she fresh meat?" another one from the annoying goodbye party asked.

"Bass!" someone yelled at the top of his lungs.

Christ.

"Bass Cole, over here! Is she your new girlfriend?" another man asked.

A few security men came over and ushered us towards the waiting SUV. Who would have thought that getting into a vehicle a few feet away would take forever?

I was relieved once I got in the SUV. Once inside, Bass profusely apologized. "Sorry I didn't warn you about the paparazzi. They can be very obtrusive sometimes. I should've prepared you for that."

"It's all right. I mean, you're a celebrity; that comes with the territory, I guess," I mumbled back to him.

"Where do you want me to take you, Sir?" the chauffeur asked.

"Just take me back to my place, Lou. I need to pick up my car."

"Right away, Sir," Lou replied and focused on the traffic.

_Shit_ , _we're going to his house to get his car. Shit._ I had no fucking clue where this night was heading. I certainly didn't expect to end up with a fucking celebrity, let alone with Bass Cole of all men! Hell, I was super nervous. With the leather seat and my short dress, I could feel my legs start to sweat.

Bass' cell phone was constantly ringing and beeping. How did he live his life like that? It was disconcerting.

"Hey, Turner!" I heard him say as I watched the passing cars before me. "No, dude, can't join the crowd. I'm with Emma." I smiled at the way he said my name. He sounded like he'd known me for a while and not just a couple of hours.

I could just imagine this Turner dude asking, ' _Who the heck is Emma?_ ' because Bass replied, "My date for the evening. Now, if you don't mind, go hassle someone else. Gotta go. Bye."

"Are you okay?" he murmured as he moved closer, not touching me, but close enough that I could feel the heat of his body.

"I don't know. I'm thinking 'what the fuck' right now," I answered him with honesty.

He chuckled at my retort.

"Try to relax. I won't let you down," Bass promised with seriousness.

I muttered 'uhhmm' and reverted back to looking through the glass absentmindedly. He was silent the rest of the ride and I was quite thankful that he was. I needed to gather my thoughts.

Lou drove up a long winding driveway and stopped in front of an impressive house made almost entirely of glass. When he opened my door for us to step out, I suddenly felt anxious. _I am so out of my league here_ , I thought with a moment of insanity.

When Lou bid us goodnight and left, Bass held my arm and pulled me towards his home. Once he managed to open the door, the lights immediately flickered to life.

Wow, I thought as I took in my surroundings.

An entire glass wall panel was made into a waterfall. The open space was done elegantly in black, white and silver with cerulean blue accents that meshed quite chicly. It was all very masculine and I was impressed.

"I want to tell you that your house is gorgeous, but you probably hear that all the time," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Thank you. I do, but it's a first from you. So, it counts." With his arm around my waist, he nudged me forward. My heels echoed loudly against the black marbled floor. "Come on, I want to show you the view from the patio."

The view before me was simply amazing. Situated on a hilltop, the bright lights of Los Angeles sprawled before our eyes, vast and mysterious. It was utterly captivating. The famous Hollywood sign could be seen in the distance. Magnificent, was all I could think. My eyes took in the sight before me with great fascination.

"It's marvelous, isn't it?" he asked from behind me. I merely nodded in agreement. It was truly majestic. Bass cleared his throat and his dark, toe-curling voice asked, "You're a new guest in my home, Emma Anderson. What can I get you for refreshments?"

"Red wine and water, please."

Bass smiled lazily. "Right away, Miss."

Charming, just charming... and he was disturbing my lucidity.

I followed him further inside the house and watched as he moved about his impressive kitchen. I leaned over the island as he gathered my drinks. He was nice to look at and I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away from him. _Okay_ , I conceded. He was _more_ than nice to look at—he was epic. I could look at his smoldering eyes and his lazy smiles all night long.

" _So_ , where did Cece go?" I lightly inquired. Did they exchange numbers? I wouldn't put it past Cece.

I caught him hide back a smile. Goodness, that smile of his... _Shit_ , why was it that I felt the urge to just jump on him and kiss him? Wow, I was really crushing on him big time.

"I knew what you were doing, you know. I have to tell you that I feel insulted—truly and deeply insulted—that you would ditch me and hand me over to someone else, but you weren't that slick." Bass shook his head, smiling. "I caught you at the right moment." He made an emphasis of the word 'caught.'

Ha! _If only..._

Bass handed me a bottle of water then opened a bottle of red wine and took out two wine glasses.

_Such a yummy, fascinating specimen to look at..._

"Whoops. Thought it was a match made in Heaven," I jested back at his grinning face.

"Not even close. Not. Even. Close," he murmured as he left for the patio, barefoot.

I followed him and watched as he placed the items on the table and turned on the huge outdoor marbled fireplace. He then went back inside to get something else. I walked towards the rattan chaise lounge and rested my aching feet.

The ambiance around here was getting cozy and downright romantic. Bass Cole, a true romantic? I wished, but I guessed that acting had taught him a thing or two about romance. This was a step more than what Carter had ever shown me. I should just bask in it and not over-think it.

My phone rang inside my purse and I instantly reached for it. Maybe I shouldn't have because I gasped when I saw who my caller was.

Carter Mason's name was flashing manically at me.

After a few more flashes, it stopped.

I had nine missed calls and two text messages from Carter. Curious, I hastily opened my messages.

Carter: _Where the fuck are you?_

_Great, so_ now _he's worried?_

Carter: _Cece just posted a video on Facebook of you and some celebrity guy dancing. What the fuck were you thinking?_

_What the fuck was I thinking? You have got to be kidding me!_

Carter: _Pick. The. Fuck. Up!!!!!_

_Bastard!_

I didn't even bother responding to his stupid texts.

A big part of me was delighted that he was affected by this. What girl wouldn't be? It was a big slap in his face. Did he really think I would sit back and cry over him after how he treated me the last time I saw him? How he didn't even have the decency to look me in the eye when he left me bedraggled and naked on his bed? It took him, what? Like a whole three minutes to fucking ditch me for a shower after he came? Prick.

No! Carter Mason was history.

He was, wasn't he? Then why did I feel a sudden pang of sadness?

My thoughts of Carter went on hiatus when Bass came out with a tray of food and placed it on the table. It consisted of fruits, brie and crackers, cold cuts, black and green olives, cherry tomatoes, dark and milk chocolates, a slice of strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cake, and a bag of Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream chips.

I laughed. "This is a very interesting mix you've got here, Bass."

He blushed and placed his hands in his pockets. "I didn't know what you wanted so, I, uh, guessed." He really blushed! Maybe he wasn't the playboy the tabloids portrayed him to be? Didn't they like to exaggerate to get more sales?

Amused, I graciously thanked him as he handed me a glass of wine. He sat on the larger rattan outdoor couch to my left. Leaning back, he popped a cherry tomato in his mouth _. So fucking hot_ , I thought and quickly looked away, a bit bothered.

"So... what do you want to talk about Bass?"

"You, anything and everything about you." His magnetic gaze studied me. My throat went dry as I felt the heated scrutiny of his blue eyes. _God, help me. Why did this man affect me so much? I just met him for Pete's sake!_

I took a careful sip of the wine and savored the smoothness as it went down before I went on. "Let's see, I'm a college student at UCSB, major _undecided,_ for now. I love cheesy movies and have a thing for athletes. I get emotional—especially a week or two before my period. I treasure those who are dear to me and eject the people who aren't. I stock up all of my fortune cookies until I have over twenty of them and eat them all in one sitting. I come from a loving home so I'm not emotionally crippled in that sense. The only issues I have with my parents are their persistent nagging for me to become a doctor. We have a family cat named Tumble, who I am chronically allergic to, but I love all the same. I have a ten-year-old pillow that I wash constantly, mind you, but can't let go of. And yes, it is a tad ratty, but I just can't part with it."

He chuckled. "Ratty pillow, emotional, undecided and allergic to cats, gotcha. And you have a thing for athletes? Say, David Beckham?"

"Uh, who doesn't have a _thing_ for him?" I countered back, aghast at his question.

Becks was _the_ prime hotness. Show me a single soul who didn't pant and ogle at those delicious Armani ads, especially at that sexy _package_ of his? Right? Exactly my point.

"So, actors... you don't have a thing for?" he asked, his eyes peeked at me through his lashes, smoldering like the hot man that he was! His sex appeal was off the charts. If I got to see his hot, naked body, I would devour this lovely creature and lick every ridge of those dang abs of his.

_Wait_ , was the great Bass Cole fishing for compliments?

"No, not yet." I pressed my lips together, hiding a smile.

He grinned. "You are something else, aren't you?" He placed his hands behind his head and I couldn't help gawking at his muscular arms. "Are you dating anyone, Em?"

Being forward, wasn't he?

I shook my head. "No, not anymore. It ended yesterday actually, if you really want to know."

"Oh, wow. I didn't expect that," he muttered.

"Expect what?" I glanced at his boggled state. What did he mean by that?

"That you're on the rebound."

Uh, what the hell?

" _Who said I was on the rebound?_ " I exasperatedly asked the mysterious man across me. Cece? It had to be Cece.

"That's just a given. A person is on the rebound for a month after breaking it off with someone, especially if the person they broke it off with actually meant something, then that's another shitload of shenanigans."

_Okay..._ he was complicated and odd to say the least.

"Can I just say that... _you're weird?_ I never thought Bass Cole would be weird until this moment."

"Ha. You are too cute sometimes."

Gee, thanks. Looking cute was what I had aimed for tonight—not. _Cute?_ Cute was for kids, not a grown almost twenty-one-year-old woman!

Diverging from the touchy subject, he continued on. "What are your favorite films?" he asked as he prepared crackers with cheese and olives on them. Placing them on a cocktail napkin, he handed them to me. I murmured my thanks. The man had such gracious manners—so unlike Carter.

I took a small bite and spoke, " _Eurotrip_ was a blast. _The Notebook, Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Kingdom of Heaven, Defiance_ and _Closer_ to name a few."

"Interesting choices you have there. I like it. So, what did you like about _Closer_?" he inquired as he watched me eat and talk.

I shrugged. "What's not to like? It was a great film with great actors. The story was moving and relatable."

"So, you _condone_ cheating then?" he pressed, figuring me out.

"No, I never said that. I don't condone it. I meant it was relatable in a sense that our society has made it somewhat okay. If a famous celebrity cheats on someone, they publicize it to the hilt and it's portrayed as acceptable to some, I supposed. I wish they didn't though because it sets a bad example to others."

"Good answer."

"Thank you," I murmured and downed my drink. Excellent choice of wine, I thought to myself.

_This was surreal..._

"Tell me, why _The Notebook_?" He was still pressing for answers.

"Because that movie was hella awesome!? But to answer your question, I loved how committed the hero was to his love. His unfaltering dedication to the promise he made years back was astounding. I mean, he truly, deeply loved her. It's that kind of love that stays with you, you know? The kind where it haunts you and there is nowhere to hide..." I trailed off, my thoughts on Carter and my wasted love. My heart gripped me for a second. I thought back at how cold he was when he told me to gather my things and leave his house. I was instantly brought back to the present.

"Have you had _that_ kind of love?" he inquired, pressing me further.

"I thought I did once, but it was a mirage... there was no point on holding on to it. Maybe one day I'll get to have it. I would consider myself lucky if I ever did, not a lot of people can say that they have though." I glanced at him and asked, "What about you? Have you ever had it? _That kind of love,_ I mean." I had to clarify it just in case he took my question as an innuendo.

He smiled at my inquisition as his eyes glittered at me.

"No, not yet, but if I do, I will embrace it and hold onto it for as long as I can. I haven't loved a woman before. It's not that I'm hiding from it, it just hasn't happened. I do know that once I do, this woman would consume me and I would gladly surrender to it, _to her_. I would be enslaved to it and love her wholeheartedly, no holds barred." Bass spoke with utmost depth and conviction.

_That was quite intense and deep._ That woman would be very lucky indeed. Imagine all this hot goodness as yours to conquer and behold.

_Jealous much, Emma?_ I cringed at my stupid thoughts. Was I drunk already? Surely because my mind couldn't be tamed. It just kept on wandering about.

"Do you want to drive somewhere, Em? We can go wherever you like," he asked softly. His question was much appreciated, but unnecessary.

"It's okay. I kind of like it here; it's very peaceful. I'd like to stay here, if you don't mind?" I didn't want to leave the beautiful scene before me.

The scene was 'the view on the patio' and the beautiful man beside me.

"Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. This person is one you could forever talk to. They understand you in a way that no one else does or even could. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go, for they're your guardian angel sent from heaven above."

_~Author Unknown_

# Chapter Ninety-Five

It was six in the morning and we were still on the patio, lounging and talking. The fireplace was still burning strongly, giving us enough heat to fight off the chilly morning air that had settled in.

Bass was kind enough to grab two blankets to help keep us warm. He moved another chaise lounge and placed it next to mine. He even arranged them facing the view of the city as we tucked ourselves in the nice warmth of the blankets, side by side. He took the liberty of brewing us coffee and we drank it quietly. It was a comfortable silence.

Until I died, if we became friends or not, I would never forget that sweet moment with Bass Cole. The man sure knew how to make a first impression. He kept to his word and he was a true gentleman. The entire time we just chatted on and on about whatever subject we could think of. I didn't know there was a guy out there who liked to talk. Most men I knew didn't care for idle chitchat. Imagine my surprise when this hottie turned out to be different. Bass certainly was in a league of his own, unlike all the other guys I knew.

"The sun should be rising soon. I want you to see it. It's really beautiful," he murmured out of the blue.

I glanced at him, wondering if I heard him right. _He loved watching sunrises?_

"I can hear you thinking, you know. On nights I have a hard time sleeping, I come out here and wait for the sun to come up. _And no_ , I haven't shared my sunrise with anyone else. You're my first, Emma Anderson." Bass gave me a quick glance and I gave him a smile. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it felt good.

The sun was brimming behind the mountains. Its blinding yellow heat glistened from afar as it slowly moved upwards towards the sky. This was Mother Nature at her finest. How many times had I enjoyed a sunrise or a sunset?

Bass took my hand, placed it inside the comforter and held it against his chest. I didn't mind it because it felt, comfortable? It was as if we had done this before, it was an odd feeling really.

After the sunrise, we were still cuddling and I wondered why I didn't feel a bit sleepy. "Aren't you tired, yet? Don't you have a movie to shoot or whatever things actors do?"

"I just finished filming two weeks ago and got back in L.A. about a week later. I have no plans on this very bright, sunny Sunday. Feel like joining me on my lazy day off?" he invited.

_As tempted as I was, I should say no. I barely knew him. Surely, spending too much time with him so soon would be a bad idea?_ "I don't think so. I bet my friends are wondering where I am."

"Don't worry. They know you're with me. I told Cece I was taking you somewhere."

Oh. He was that sure I was leaving with him?

"Are you always this forward? Towards women, I mean." I wanted to figure him out, to find out what his motives were.

"Of course. I don't have to work all that hard to get women, to be honest, but you're the only one I've had to chase after. When I noticed that you had been gone for a long time—too long to use the bathroom—I realized you had ditched me and dumped me on your friend, Cece. I had to find you. I couldn't let you walk out of the club without me. I don't know why, but I just couldn't. That's crazy, isn't it? There I was, I had barely spoken a few words to you and yet I was captivated."

His words... made me feel _something_. Scared wasn't the word, no, it was more like... _safe?_ Yeah, along the lines of safe.

"Could it be your rejection or aloofness that made you different? No clue. One thing I do know—your pure beauty compelled me to seek you out. Your honesty and depth pushed me even further. It's frightening and at the same time, fascinating. Knowing that, I couldn't let you walk away."

Oh my God, what a fucking speech! Who _said_ those things? _An Oscar winner, perhaps?_

"What do you want from me, Bass?" I asked, eyeing him as he silently studied me. His azure eyes locked with mine and wouldn't let me go, their powerful intensity pulled me while their spell weaved through my defenses.

"I want to get to know you, Emma."

Okay, that was easy. I could work with that.

"So, you want to get to _know_ me only, right _?_ And this is not some ploy to get me into bed?" I turned to my side, looking at his face that was inches away from mine. My eyes studied his profile. And what a fucking profile! His face was perfectly sculpted. Each curve was honed to perfection. His full lips, straight nose, perfect brows. He even had thick, long lashes. I even thought they were a tad longer than mine! How annoying was that?

If there were a man who could make me get over "The Carter Mason Fever," Bass was it and I knew it, too, but that would be using him, wouldn't it?

_People do it all the time_ — _Yeah, but why question the dating karma cycle? Good point._

Bass cleared his throat before he spoke, " _Hell_ , I do want you in my bed, but I wouldn't want to insult you by trying to get you to sleep with me. Not only that, the idea that you might be on a rebound doesn't sit well either. Apart from that, I do want to get to know you. The _real_ you; what makes you tick and stuff. Simple as that—nothing scary or anything."

" _Like friends_ , then?" I double-checked.

"Sure, as friends, _for now_. My intentions are much more geared towards another path, but if that's what you want to start out with as a platform—a common ground—then so be it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Em, and I really mean that."

How was it that I didn't have to explain myself fully to him? He seemed to just know and get it.

It was disconcerting to say the least.

"Good. I'd like that very much, Bass." I glanced at him as he stifled a yawn. "You should sleep and I should head back to my hotel," I suggested.

Bass shook his head. "No. I love having you here with me and I like holding your dainty hand very much. Don't go yet." He tried to hide another incoming yawn.

_Gosh_ , he even makes yawning look sexy. "All right, I'll wait until you're passed out and then I'll leave."

He handed me his phone. "Program your number, please, and set the alarm two hours from now? I promise I will call my driver to come get you and take you back to your hotel."

I consented, "Two hours. Tops." _You sure you're not just staying because you don't want to leave his side?_

"Thank you," he murmured and finally closed his eyes. Since my hand was on his chest, I felt his heartbeat slow down.

With one free hand, I programmed my number in his phone. I didn't dare browse through his contacts. I was tempted, but willed myself not to.

Whoa! I didn't even think about Carter over the past few hours. _How the heck did that happen?_ I thought happily. Bass Cole's charms were amazing, indeed!

I studied his striking profile and wondered how such a fucking beautiful man like him could see something in me. How the hell did I get myself into more trouble? Carter was enough of a problem as it was. Now I had added another man into the mix. _This shit could get complicated as hell_ , I thought as my heavy eyes closed.

"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life."

_~Jean Shinoda Bolen_

# Chapter Ninety-Six

I could feel the heat of the sun starting to scorch my back. I groaned and tried to rollover to my other side, but my hand was tucked somewhere. Bass was still holding it. Slightly opening my dreary eyes, I squinted at the bright surroundings. I shifted a bit and heard Bass grunt something as he started to wake up.

"Good morning sunshine."

"Good morning..." I said in between yawns then stilled. _Shit, what time was it?_

"Oh my God, I have to get back!" I got up and hunted down my purse. When I got to it, I fished out my phone. Carter and Lindsey each called a few times and there were a few messages from both of them. Ignoring Carter's messages, I scrolled to read Lindsey's.

Lindsey Mason: _Em, I have to get back to SB. Sorry, this was unexpected. Could you get a ride from the girls? Thanks, babe._

_Oh, no way._ Why did she have to leave so soon? Wasn't this her bright idea to begin with? No, no, no, no, no!

I was not going to ride back home with the girls. I honestly didn't feel like being interrogated by them. _This totally sucked_.

"Is everything all right, Em?" Bass sat up from the lounger and scrambled to his feet.

"I, um..." My voice trailed off as I watched in total fascination as he stretched. His black shirt lifted up, showing off his famous abs.

I licked my lips as I stared.

Why did he have to be so... _hella sexy?_

" _Yes,_ Emma _?_ " Bass caught me admiring him and now he was teasing the heck out of me.

Blushing and a tad mortified, I excused myself to the bathroom. Once inside the house, I realized I didn't have a clue where the bathroom was. I quickly turned around to look for Bass and found that he was right behind me—with a massive smile on his face. "Where is __ the bathroom?" I reddened a little more as I asked the question.

"Come here." He pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, enveloping me in his large, muscled body.

OH. MY. WORD!

My senses were on full alert as I inhaled the scent of him _. Boy did he smell fantastic!_

He pulled back a little and looked at me, our faces merely inches away. "You know you look even more beautiful when you blush like that?" Bass whispered.

The cat got my tongue. My mind went blank and all I could see was Bass and his amazing eyes, dilated and very much locked on me.

Compelling me...

Calling me...

I snaked my tongue out to wet my lips and his eyes zeroed in on them. He pulled my face a little closer and I closed my eyes, readying for his kiss, but his lips landed on my jaw and he nuzzled his nose all the way to my ear then he whispered, "You're not ready for my kiss yet, my darling Emma. _When I do kiss you_ , I will be the _only one_ you can think of, the _only one_ that can possess you and no one else. You, madam, are certainly _not_ ready for that kind of possession."

His words weighed heavily on me. Bass was right, though, I wasn't ready and I appreciated him being noble about it because if he had chosen to kiss me, I wouldn't have pulled away and I might've ended up regretting it later on. He was merely a stranger and yet, he respected me.

He was simply remarkable.

Bass kissed my forehead and squeezed me tightly. "Go freshen up while I make us some breakfast. Take two lefts and the bathroom is on the right. See you in a bit." With another kiss on my head, he strolled towards his enormous stainless steel kitchen.

I just stood there and watched him walk away.

_Oh My God! What was going on?_ My nerves were all over the place! I was confused as hell. This was like an odd dream or one of those movies where the plot was too good to be true and then out of nowhere an axe murderer joined in and killed the happily ever after.

Mentally shaking my head, I followed the directions he gave me and found the bathroom without difficulty.

"I look like a bedraggled cat," I voiced out loud as I stared at my reflection.

I fished out my phone and called Amber. After two rings she picked up. " _Girl_ , you are getting it on!" Amber announced happily.

I groaned. Did I expect anything else? They were going to tease the hell out of me until they get some juicy info. Shit. Here we go. "Listen, Linds left and went back to the dorms and I was hoping I could ride back with you guys."

"Oh no, we left like an hour ago, doll. We're like around Summerland, babe. Sorry, cupcake." Amber did sound sorry.

_Oh crap, what the hell was I supposed to do?_ I groaned. Uh, this is what I got for being so idiotic. Why didn't I figure this out last night? Since when had I ever been so unprepared? The old me would've made sure I had a ride before I left the club last night. The _new_ Emma was obviously too star-struck to think coherently

Ugh!

"You know, why don't you ask the bad boy BC himself? I bet he has a hot ride!" Amber suggested with tons of innuendos in between her words.

Bad boy BC, _was that his nickname?_

"Emma! Was he good in the sack?" I could hear Trista in the background. I guess the entire car could hear me. Damn speakerphones!

"Good God! I didn't sleep with him!" I countered back. This was still unchartered territory for me, dating and the like. _I was still learning here, I wasn't going to just start sleeping around._

"No fucking way, why not? THIS is _The_ Bass Cole, Emma! You're such a bore whore!" Amber sounded aghast.

Thank you, I guess?

"Need I remind all of you that I just broke it off with Carter? Yeah—exactly! I am a bore whore, whatever."

"Carter's pissed as shit. You better watch out for the angry monster when you get back in town," Cece added with derision.

_Yeah, because you posted fucking videos on Facebook! Who fucking does that?_ _Of course_ , she's friends with like the entire campus. _Of course_ , each person who saw it would mention it to Carter. Carter Mason was like their freaking school hero. They simply loved him.

"Gee, thanks for the heads-up. Anyway, I have to go and look for a ride elsewhere," I muttered.

"Damn straight! And that ride better be Bass Cole's warrior! You better tell me the deets and how he is between the sheets. Please, please, please!" Amber begged. She was obviously going bonkers.

"There's no point in arguing with you, _is there?_ See you later, girls!" I laughed and cut off the call before they threw any more innuendoes my way.

After I washed my face, rinsed my mouth out with some mouthwash I found and applied some lip-gloss, I came out of the bathroom. How would I bring up my dire ride situation to Bass? What if he has other plans? Maybe I could call a taxi to take me or better yet, I could just rent a car somewhere.

As I entered the kitchen, Bass gave me a dazzling smile. "Come sit and talk to me while I cook. Which hotel are you and your friends staying at again? I'll drive you there myself."

I strode towards the kitchen island, sat on one of the stools and watched him master the kitchen. "That might be a problem. It seems that they all left already and I'm stuck alone in Los Angeles."

"No problem. I can take you back to campus." He shrugged and continued to chop mushrooms like a Michelin star chef. Impressive.

"Where did you learn how to cook?"

"I was a chef in one of my movies and I had to train with this five-star chef for three months before shooting."

"Wow, three months? What movie was it?" I hadn't seen any of his films except for that first vampire movie. Amber and Cece had told me there were two more and another one was in the works.

Bass smirked at my innocent question. "How many films of mine have you _seen_ , Emma?" He cracked four eggs in a bowl, peppered them, added a dash of salt and rapidly scrambled them. His large hands were even nice...

" _Knights of Cimmerian_."

"Did you like it?" he inquired as he drizzled olive oil into the heated pan.

"Sure, it was great!" I fibbed.

"What did you like about it?" he pressed on, again.

Shoot.

Your rock-hard abs and that sexy, crazy, erotically charged sex scene that had gotten me so aroused in the movie theater. I clearly remembered how his sculpted, firm ass looked as he made love to the woman in the movie.

"Everything... it was... great." I bit my lip as I looked at him through my lashes.

He barked out a loud laugh.

And what a... _fucking stop it, Emma_ , I scolded myself as I lusted from afar.

"It's either you didn't like it _or_ you weren't paying attention. So which is which?" Busted! I suck at lying.

"I wasn't paying attention. Sorry. When you asked, I didn't know what to tell you to be honest."

"Don't worry, babe, I'm not offended." He winked at me as he prepared our breakfast.

I made toast, coffee and cut up some fruit while he cooked.

We ate at the island counter and I noticed how his eyes looked even more spellbinding in the daylight.

It was past noon when we left his house and drove back to Santa Barbara. His bright blue Lamborghini Gallardo weaved through the traffic and I couldn't help looking at his hands when he shifted gears. I loved men that could drive a stick.

He looked so fucking edible in his aviator shades, wearing a simple white shirt and dark jeans. He looked like every bit of the heartthrob that he was. I was crushing hard on Bass.

As we got closer to school, my stomach nose-dived at the thought of seeing Carter again. Did he hook up with another woman last night? Quite possibly; it didn't take him long to jump in bed with me after his conquest before me. It was what? Two days, three maybe? We had sex on our second date. We almost did it on the first date, but we were at a party with our friends and got too drunk to do anything.

Carter didn't talk about his feelings at all. Instead, he expressed them through his actions, usually during sex. When we fought or he was angry, he would take me hard and fast. When he was happy, he teased me and tickled me and left me begging for him to take me. Yeah, I think I fell hard during his happy phases, sadly.

I still hadn't read the rest of his messages, but I couldn't fathom going over them right now. I bet he's just angry that I was with Bass only a day after I dumped him.

What else would he be so angry about?

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."

_~Fyodor Dostoevsky_

# Chapter Ninety-Seven

When we exited the freeway and were closer to my place, I gave Bass directions to my dorm.

He parked the car and killed the engine then looked at me silently.

The silence stretched for a good minute before I spoke; unsure how to take it from here. "It was nice to meet you, Bass. It really was. I had a great time; bizarre, but enjoyable nonetheless." I grinned at the studious man beside me. My smile faltered when he didn't smile back. Why was he so serious all of a sudden? We were fine when we left his house.

"I have this dinner thing on Tuesday night for a film I just signed up to shoot this summer in Greece. Would you come with me and be my date?"

"Oh, don't you all discuss work details? I don't want to intrude on that." Not to mention, I would look like a complete idiot and so out of place.

"You won't. It'll be fun. The director is my godfather, actually. So it's going to be laidback; don't worry. You're going to have a blast. Say you'll go with me?"

"Do people ever tell you _no_?" I cocked my brow at him. I somehow doubted he ever got a 'no,' especially from women.

A lazy, gorgeous smile etched on his face as he responded, "Well, there's this girl... she's stunning and funny and she has these beautiful blue eyes and golden hair and she doesn't seem to be interested in me, not one bit. I, on the other hand, feel compelled to be with her and to see more of her."

I nudged his arm. "Now you're just being silly, Bass."

"I'll pick you up at five, Tuesday afternoon?" He reached up to my face and his thumb grazed my bottom lip. His eyes darkened as he studied my slightly parted mouth.

_Why doesn't he just kiss me already?_ He was always looking at them.

_Oh, hell yeah_ , I knew he was staring at me; my skin would prickle every time he did. His gaze was that powerful; it affected me even if I wasn't paying attention to him.

"Bass..."

He looked at me, his eyes unreadable. "Did you love that guy you were with, Em?"

My throat ran dry. "Unfortunately, yes."

"I knew you did. I just needed confirmation. Thank you for your honesty." All right... then.

He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I cleared my throat as I stared at him; the sun was glowing behind him, almost blinding me. "Bass, I think you're great, but I don't think I'm what you're looking for. Everything's complicated with me right now."

He held my chin and forced me to look deep into his eyes, powerful in their passion, acute in their force. They reached something inside me.

"Aren't we starting out as friends as we agreed upon? Don't worry, Em." Bass gently kissed my forehead. "Be ready by five come Tuesday afternoon. I'll see you then." With that parting, he slid back inside his car, gunned the engine and raced out into traffic.

I was standing on the pavement, rendered speechless.

What a man...

With my purse in hand, I strode toward my building and into my dorm. Thoughts of the night spent with Bass raced through my mind. The sunrise... each time I saw one would forever bring me back to the night I spent with Bass.

I was about to unlock the door to my room, but before I could even get my key in the lock, it was yanked open by an angry looking Carter.

_What was he doing here? Probably to see Lindsey, they were siblings after all._

"Uh... hello," I said lamely as I started to walk towards my bedroom.

Carter jumped in front of me. "Is that all you have to say? A fucking hello!" In my sleep deprived state, it annoyed the hell out of me. What a drama queen! I was not in the mood to be bombarded by him at that time.

I looked up to face him as I folded my arms across my chest. "What do you want, Carter?"

Carter pulled me inside my room and shut the door loudly. He shoved me up against the wall and placed his hands on each side of my head, caging me in. "What I _want_ is for you to explain what the hell you're doing? The entire school knows about your little getaway and your little stunt with that actor dude." So what? Who cares about the entire school? I had fun and that's all that mattered.

"That's none of your business, Carter, and certainly not the entire campus's either. I couldn't care less about what they think. Now, will you please move? I need to rest. I'm exhausted." It was too late to realize that that was the wrong thing to say. It set off something in Carter. He looked downright murderous.

"You're exhausted? _From what_ , _Em_?" Carter's voice had gone low and deadly. I swallowed hard as I studied him. He _looked_ _deadly_ ; his eyes were so dark and dangerous. _Had I pushed him too far?_ No matter how angry he was, I knew for a fact that he would never, ever hit me.

"I said. That's. None. Of. Your. Business. Got it?" I spat the words back at him. If he was angry, I was angrier.

_How dare he march in here and act like this?_

"Don't do this to me, Em... this is driving me insane!" he spat out, wretchedly. I wasn't expecting that. Never from him.

I felt a spring of hope... _maybe_... just maybe... "I thought we were done?" I asked, watching him with uncertainty, trying to gauge his thoughts.

He closed his eyes and whispered, "I know, but I can't stomach the thought of you with another guy. I just can't. I'm going crazy here, Emma."

_Oh fuck, I feel torn. Did he have a change of heart?_

_Oh, fuck it! It's now or never._

Emboldened, I went for the kill. " _Do you love me?_ " I throatily asked.

His eyes instantly opened with my damning question, searching and pensive. "I told you I don't _do_ love, Em," Carter responded with distaste.

His words gutted me all the same. What was I thinking? He wouldn't just change after a few days. "Then there's no point of you being here, _now is there, Carter?_ "

His dark eyes penetrated mine and my heart stopped when he spoke. " _Are you in love with me_ , _Em_? Is that what this is all about?" His hand cupped my cheek. The sudden contact of him almost undid me.

For some odd reason, I wanted to cry. I loved him so much, it was crazy. I felt crazy for wanting him to love me, even if it was just a small fraction of what I felt for him.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

"I don't." It was the biggest lie of all, but I wouldn't back down knowing he didn't feel the same way about me.

"You don't sound convincing to me and _if_ that's the reason why you broke it off, then I don't mind _that_ as long as you're with me again," he emphasized. How embarrassing was that?

He didn't mind that I loved him, did he? Well, great. Good for him because _I fucking minded!_ I minded that he didn't feel shit about me.

Romantic, was he not?

"Well, that's _your_ problem. Now, will you please get out of my room? I didn't sleep much last night and I need some rest."

"Em, is it true? Did you _spend the night_ with him?" His voice sounded pained again.

Was it pain, really? Or was it his bruised ego because I ended our stupid relationship? The question was a Catch-22 and I didn't know which answer to give him.

Did I spend the night with Bass? Yeah, I did. Did I have sex with him? That was a definite no.

"He took me back to his home. We spent the night together, if that's what you want to know." I pressed my lips together as I watched all kinds of emotions run through his eyes... his face. The way he looked at me, sliced me in two. There was so much hatred there, I felt pained and wretched. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't. We were past that.

He punched the wall next to me hard and growled like a maniac. I was surprised that the wall didn't have a hole in it. His knuckles—from what I could see—were cut open and bleeding, but it didn't seem to faze him.

"Goodbye, Emma," Carter whispered and marched out of my room, my life.

_What a stupid mess this was. I guess this really was goodbye for us._ It was the conclusion, the ending.

Why wasn't I crying? The night we officially broke it off, I felt every single pain that wracked through my body. Now, there was still pain, but not as intense or numbing. It was bearable. Heavy on my heart, but bearable.

It took me a good five minutes before I was able to move. I stripped off my clothing and jumped into bed in my underwear. I just wanted to hide inside my comforter and curl up. I definitely needed my brain to shut down and dream away. It took an hour for my pressing wish to happen and I was more than relieved when it did.

"Sometimes you need a second chance, because time wasn't ready for the first time."

_~Author Unknown_

# Chapter Ninety-Eight

I barely made it to my literature class the next day. I slept so soundly that I didn't even hear my alarm clock. When I did wake up, I didn't want to get out of bed.

Lazy bones.

For one thing, the rumor mill was probably going viral about Bass and me after that video _evil_ Cece uploaded; God only knew what the gossipers were whispering about. The break-up with Carter was big news around campus. Actually, it was probably MAJOR news. Second, I knew Carter would be around school and from our heated encounter yesterday, I honestly did not want to see him so soon.

After an hour discussion on Leo Tolstoy, the class was dismissed. As I got up to gather my belongings, two girls stopped in front of me.

"Is it true? That you're the _mystery woman_?"

_I'm a what?_ "I beg your pardon?" I questioned, looking wholly baffled at the two enthusiastic women.

"You're Bass Cole's _mystery_ woman. You're all over the gossip blogs and gossip magazines." No. Fucking. Way.

"Sorry, I have somewhere I need to be," I excused myself and left them whispering to each other.

Later, I was at the coffee shop, enjoying my macchiato, when Trista and Amber walked over to my table. Trista slapped a magazine down as they both sat across from me, each with a mile wide grin on their faces.

My eyes immediately darted to it. 'Who is Bass Cole's Mystery Woman?' it said in bold blue lettering. There were two large, grainy pictures of us on the front page. The first one was a picture of us leaving the club, Bass's arm clutched on my hip as he guided me towards the SUV. The second picture, on the other hand, was something else entirely. The picture was taken through the gates of his home and it showed him opening the car door for me—I was dressed in the same clothes from the club picture the night before—and as I looked up to his face, I was smiling and looking rather... well, _happy_. It looked like we had a great night fucking each other's brains out.

Pictures could really be deceiving and from what little I read in the article, it seemed like his fans were going on an online rampage trying to figure out who I was. "This _is_ bad," I muttered, freaking the hell out.

I wasn't worried about my parents because they barely had time to watch the news, let alone read a gossip magazine. Still, how was this going to affect me? What were people going to think of me?

"You think? This is awesome, babe! You're like Bass Cole's girlfriend!"

"I _am_ not! Stop saying that; people might hear you," I hissed at her as I looked around the coffee shop.

I warned her off, but she was grinning like she had won the lottery. "Oh, shut up! This is great! You should enjoy it! I mean, you should really enjoy Bass Cole... I would happily sell my grandmother if I could spend a night with him in my arms. What I wouldn't give to be with him for one night..." she trailed off, day dreaming her heart out.

Even if I wanted to "enjoy Bass" and all his glorified scrumptious body, the man wouldn't even kiss me, knowing the kind of emotional rut I was in.

"It's not like that with us. _Trust me_. I admitted that I had just broken up with Carter and stuff so that put him off a bit, I think."

Trista's eyes bulged out. " _For real?_ Emma! You're crazy! What woman would say shit like that when she was out with the hottest demigod in Hollywood?" Trista looked stressed out as she frowned at me. I couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that threatened to crack. Her expression was just too hilarious. "So, did he, like, dump you already? He's quite known for his one-night stands! I guess it's a good thing that he did dump you; it's not like you need another Carter in your life, _you know?_ Yeah, Emma, you're better off without Bass." Trista looked like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

Poor thing, she was so invested; I felt bad seeing her that way. "Actually, I am seeing him for dinner tomorrow. He signed onto a movie and some of the cast members are going to be there as well; to get to know each other and whatnot."

She jumped out of her seat and lunged at me with a big hug. Her shrieking caused some of the people to look at us to see what the ruckus was all about. I did say she was always damn cheery, didn't I?

"Trista Stevens, did you forget to take your anti-psychotic pill again?" Amber's question made Trista laugh so hard she started to tear.

"This is why I love you, Amber. Your twisted sense of humor never fails to entertain my boring life."

"Love you too, Tris." Amber blew Trista a kiss. "This is crazy!" she added enthusiastically.

It certainly was.

I was lost in thought, staring at the magazine cover when I felt Trista freeze next to me. "No dolls, this is about to get insane. Carter Mason just walked in and he doesn't look happy."

_Oh no. Not yet. I'm not ready to see him yet!_

Too late, when I looked up, he had just barely arrived at our table. Fuck my life!!! God, he looked so—so dark, dangerous and sexy; a total opposite of the blond hair, blue-eyed Bass.

"Can we talk outside?" He sounded ominous as usual; no nonsense or pleasantries, no 'Hello' or an 'Excuse me'.

I stopped gawking at his beauty and managed to quickly gather my thoughts.

"All right." I got up. "See you ladies later," I murmured, looking at Amber and Trista. They both looked like they were going to burst from curiosity. The other students in the coffee shop watched our exchange and stared at the unfolding drama we were causing before their eyes.

Once outside, he walked towards his black Escalade and opened the door for me. As I sat, the familiar scent of Carter permeated my senses. His fragrant essence made me nostalgic, amongst other things. I tried to calm my nerves, but it was pointless; I was extremely anxious, on edge.

Suck it up, Emma.

When the other car door opened, he slid inside and locked all the doors. The engine was running with no music playing and the silence was deafening.

"I thought you wanted to talk. So, _talk,"_ I commanded, aggravated at his silent state.

His large hand ran through his disheveled hair making him look even sexier.

GAWD!

My blue eyes met his dark fathomless depths. Without breaking eye contact he spoke with evident strain and torment, "I really want you back, Emma."

_Steady, my shattered heart._

"We've been here before. Yesterday, in fact, if you don't recall."

"I know. I was an idiot. I haven't slept because every time I shut my eyes, you're all I see. When news broke about you and Bass spending the night together, I couldn't take it, Em. This is fucking killing me. You're _killing_ me and I'm going insane. I can't think straight!"

Tempting... how fucking tempting...

I leaned back against the leather headrest and contemplated what to do. Could I really be with someone who didn't love me? It was obvious that the more time I spent with him, the more intense my feelings for him got. At the end of the day, going back to him wouldn't solve anything, not really. I would have him physically, but I'd never have his heart, his love. Knowing how I was, I would not be happy with that nor would I be content with a half-ass kind of commitment. If I stayed with him, when the inevitable end came, I would be sorely hurt and I would regret it sooner or later.

"I can't do that."

"Why the hell not? You and I were great together, Em. We were... and you know it!" He sighed heavily and stared at the car ceiling. "Are you guys dating now or something?" he challenged, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as his eyes moved to mine, searching for the truth.

_Or something..._ that's what Bass and I are... the connection was there. I felt it, Bass felt it, but the timing was all wrong.

"No. It's not like that. The gossip you hear is just, well, gossip." That was the truth.

"Why are you doing this now, Carter? Is this about your pride and ego? Because I honestly don't buy the shit you're telling me. We both know that you've had some crazy wild rides around town. Sex with me isn't exceptional. You've done more questionable sexual exhibitions with other women. So, what the hell is going on?"

"Un _fucking_ believable! I fucking miss you! That's what's going on. It's the entire truth!" he barked out in frustration.

_He missed me?_ That was a first. All he ever said was, 'I need you' and the other infamous line, 'I want you.'

"Don't shut me down without some thought, Em. Just promise you'll think it over before you give me an answer? I'd rather take that than your immediate rejection."

_Astounding_ , I thought. Had the world tilted on its axis or something? Had aliens abducted Carter Mason's brain? There had to be some bizarre answer to this. This was so unlike him; he was the most insensitive, callous, demanding, detached jerk that I had ever met.

"Emma?" his voice pleaded.

His tone was melting my purpose; my sole objective of staying away from him. Fuck love! "I'll think about it. No promises though, just so we're clear," I clarified with total nonchalance.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." I barely nodded because my mind was going through a battle of sorts.

"It's past one already; want to grab something to eat? Or better yet, why don't I take you out tonight? I haven't taken you out on a date for a while," Carter suggested, hopeful.

_Yeah, amongst the other deficiencies you have,_ I wanted to add, but couldn't muster the energy for another lengthy argument. When was the last time he took me out properly? I couldn't even remember.

"I'm fine. Do you think you could just drop me off at my dorm?" I didn't think I could muster enough energy to endure a meal with him.

"Yeah, of course."

When he got into traffic, he turned to me. "It's our second to last game of the season against UCLA. Will you come and wear my jersey?"

How about not? I'm not going to be your jersey girl, buddy! "I can't. I have things to do." Carter just nodded.

Student housing was pretty close to the café so the ride back was quick. I didn't waste a moment's time getting out of his SUV. "Thanks. I'll see you around," I muttered before slamming his door shut, not giving him a chance to respond.

"I'm intimidated by the fear of being average."

_~Taylor Swift_

# Chapter Ninety-Nine

With another grunt of frustration, I lightly hit my forehead on my closet door a few more times before I heard Lindsey clear her throat. "Oh honey, that's not how you say a prayer. You should try the floor; it clears your mind like no other." Smartass!

I glared at my smirking friend. "How does one dress amongst Hollywood folks?" Lindsey barked out a shrieking laugh and I gave her a death stare.

"This weird upheaval is for _tonight's outfit?_ " She looked at me, her head askew. I threw a discarded shirt at her and she laughed even harder.

She was certainly not helping the situation.

"I was fine about it until Bass texted me that it was going to be held at Martin Lombardo's home." That statement made her laughing rampage halt. Her mouth hung ajar.

"No shit, and you don't have an outfit?!" she said, purely horrified. Now it was her turn to freak the fuck out.

"Now's not the time to give me a lecture, Linds. I have an hour before Bass gets here!" I gave her a quick retort, my eyes filled with pure dread.

Martin Lombardo was a producer and director. Most of his films were Oscar-worthy and he had won a crap load of them. He was an icon, a legend. I was impressed that Bass was going to make a film with him. However, that amazement turned into trepidation when Bass mentioned I was meeting the director himself tonight.

"Give me a second to run through my closet. Go get yourself something to drink. You look like you need it." She was about to leave, but she stopped mid-stride. "You know what? I'll bring you a bottle of tequila. You just wait and sit here!" Linds departed my scattered room as my phone beeped.

Bass Cole: _Am leaving the house. Be seeing you very soon!_

I smiled. Why did I grin like a silly idiot every time I saw his name? _Oh gosh_ , he was starting to worm his way inside, way too quickly for my liking, much to my dismay.

Linds was back with what looked like ten outfits and a bottle of tequila which she threw to me. I caught the bottle before it landed on the bed.

"Okay, now strip!" she commanded like a lieutenant.

She was browsing through her chosen outfits while I stripped my clothes off, leaving my bra and underwear on. Thank God Linds and I were about the same size.

"How about this one?" She held out a flashy red skin-tight, silk dress. It was gorgeous, but the narrow top would make my breasts look squashed. Not the kind of attention or 'wow factor' I was looking for tonight.

I shook my head. "Too vulgar."

" All right... How about this one?" She held out a simple A-line dress.

"That's too plain Jane, doll," I said and she scampered to hold out a few more and I declined them all.

She was getting annoyed, I could tell. I didn't want to be a pain in the ass, but none of them really appealed to me.

" _That!_ I want to try _that_ one on!" I ran to her and grabbed the dress from her hand.

"Finally! You're such a pain, Princess Emma!" Lindsey rolled her eyes and helped me with the dress.

"I love you more, baby!" I kissed her cheek to which she replied, 'yeah, yeah' with a cute pout.

The dress was simple, elegant and it was sexy. It was a body-hugging, nude lace, short dress with short sleeves. It was _perfect!_ I thought as I studied my reflection. I loved that it gave me a good amount of cleavage, but not too much.

"Okay, okay. Let's get your make-up started. Do you want to go for a smoky sex-bomb, absolute goddess, or delicate ethereal look?" Lindsey asked as I sat and browsed through the make-up selection before me.

"Absolute goddess, definitely!"

After twenty minutes of priming and brushing, she was done. She used a lot of gold and bronze creamy hues. It made my eyes look divine and quite stunning. My cheeks were bronzed and highlighted to perfection. She teased my hair and put some mousse and other hair styling products in it, making it look playful and sexy.

I went back to my closet and took out my three and a half inch, rose-gold metallic pumps and slid them on. "How do I look?" I asked as I moved sideways to give her a good view.

"You look, like, scorching hot, doll! Bass will fall at your feet and worship you until he's out of breath!" How she exaggerated, but I basked in it all the same!

"That's pushing our luck, don't you think?" My phone started ringing and I didn't even need to check it to know who it was. Bass was calling me to let me know that he was right outside.

"Shit, I haven't even gathered my purse and stuff!" I freaked, scouring my room for the needed items.

"Let me go downstairs and get him." Linds was halfway out the door already and didn't even wait for me to respond.

Thank God for my awesome friend!

Once I got everything in my tiny clutch purse, I heard Bass and Lindsey enter the apartment. I gave myself another once over just to make sure my eyeliner wasn't smudged or my mascara had flaked. Nope, I was all set!

I was a nervous wreck when I strode out of my bedroom and into the living room. Bass, looking totally delicious dressed in all black was talking to Lindsey when I entered the room and he did a double take when he saw me. His azure eyes glittered. My heart sped up at his slow, heated, admiring gaze.

"Hey, Bass! Ready to go?" I asked as the apartment door suddenly swung open. Brody strolled in and Carter was behind him, the dynamic duo. Fucking shit, what luck!

" _What are you two doing here?_ " Lindsey asked in annoyance.

Brody saw me and his gaze landed on Bass. "We, uh, thought you guys would like to go and get something to eat." Poor Brody looked perplexed and Carter looked like he was about to blow-up any minute now. I could seriously hear him grinding his teeth together.

_Calm it down, caveman!_ I wanted to yell at him.

"Didn't you guys have soccer practice?" Lindsey asked again, eyeing both men in question.

"It was cancelled, Linds," Carter's deadly voice noted.

No one bothered with introductions because the atmosphere in the apartment was so strained and tense. Bass wrapped an arm around my waist, a tad possessively. "Let's go," he said. Carter simply growled like a raging bear. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides. I could feel Carter's hatred. I felt bad and wanted to comfort him, but I immediately scolded myself to snap out of it. As much as I loved him, it wasn't enough. Being with him wasn't enough anymore. _I wanted what he couldn't give me,_ I reminded myself.

"Let's go," Bass urged again and I nodded in agreement.

Turning towards Lindsey, I spoke, "Linds, thanks for the help and everything. I'll call you later." I gave her a quick hug before Bass and I exited the place.

Brody was silent and observant. Carter was brooding with contempt. As much as it bothered me that he was pissed off as hell, there was nothing I could do about it. To be honest, I was actually surprised that Carter held himself back. I expected him to go ape-shit about me going out with Bass.

I tried to push the thoughts away as Bass led me towards his parked car.

Seated and buckled, Bass turned to me before he started the engine. "That was your ex, wasn't it?" Always forward, wasn't he?

"Sorry, I didn't know they were coming over. I feel really bad..." What happened at our place was something I hadn't anticipated. I was not prepared for it.

Bass just shrugged. "No worries. I would've acted the same way if I saw my ex—who I'm still hung up on—looking so sinfully beautiful." He cocked his head and gave me a breathtaking smile. A smile that made me forget about Carter—even if it was for only a moment.

_He thinks I'm sinfully beautiful? Gah, melt me even further, why don't you?_

Bass gave my left thigh a quick, tight squeeze then started the engine and joined the traffic. Even though he took his hand away from my thigh, I could still feel it on me. Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach.

During the ride, his cell phone rang like it was possessed. It was nonstop! His agent, his publicist, his friends, the list went on and on. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him and he complied with patience.

When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my purse, a little relieved for something to do.

Carter Mason: _You just broke me apart, Em. It took all my strength not to yank you away from him and keep you for myself. But what good would that do? You don't want me. I guess I have to accept that, huh? I get it. The message is loud and clear. I'm not going to wait for you anymore. I guess good things always slip away. You were special to me, Emma._

I was special to him? What? _Since when?_ Was he just trying to say something so that I would comeback as his exclusive bootie call? So. Not. Cool.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Bass spoke again. "There. I turned the damn thing off. My phone's not going to kill our enjoyment tonight," he declared.

"You don't have to do that for my benefit. What if you miss an important call?" I looked at him.

He grabbed my hand and held it. The gesture was sweet and I indulged in his warmth. "What could be more important than my time with you?" He cocked his head back in question, decided and sure of himself.

_A whole lot of shit_ , I wanted to add, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. "If you're sure..." I trailed off.

"Never been so sure of anything in my life," Bass exclaimed, letting his words hang in the air.

We both knew he wasn't talking about his phone.

I remained silent not knowing what to say. For I did not know how to respond to a man who was so handsome and rather determined to have a piece of me. A piece that had already been taken by another man.

"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me."

_~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice_

# Chapter One Hundred

"Here we are."

_Here_ was a palatial home in Holmby Hills. Bass turned off the engine and got out of the car as the attendant opened the door for me. I graciously thanked him.

"Good evening, Mr. Cole. I'm Steven, the attendant for tonight," a uniformed man introduced himself. Bass greeted him and handed his keys to him.

My eyes scanned the estate and found that there were five uniformed men; three of them were the valet attendants and two of them were dressed in dark clothing who—I'm assuming—were there for security because they looked way too serious.

The Italian Renaissance-esque garden had parterres that were created in artistically perfect geometric shapes. They were laid out in symmetrical patterns and adorned with fountains, Romanesque statues–angels, naked men and women–and other exotic plants and bushes. There was even a labyrinth. The outdoor pathway that led to the main door was lined with plum crystal vases on both sides with rose scented candles in them.

I swallowed. If I thought I was nervous before, I was a double wreck now. Martin Lombardo was an icon—a legend. What the hell was I doing here amongst these people?

"Don't be nervous; my godfather will love you." Bass's right hand nestled on the base of my spine as he ushered me towards the daunting palatial home.

" _Your godfather?_ I thought we were going to Martin Lombardo's house?"

"The one and very same." He chuckled as he guided me towards the massive home.

"You're _godfathe_ r is _The_ Martin Lombardo?" _DUH, Emma! One plus one equals two, right?_

He stopped us and turned to me. "Listen, there's nothing to be anxious about. I'm with you; you're going to be fine, okay?" he gently reassured me as he softly pecked me on the cheek. Bass stilled as he inhaled my scent, breathing me in.

My world stopped spinning.

He moved closer, held my hips and enveloped me into his large muscular body and my body shook against his. The sexual charge was loaded with violent acuteness as his lips brushed against my ear. He held my palm against his heart. It was beating frantically, wildly thumping in his chest. "Do you feel what you do to me? Being _this_ close to you affects me this much. There is no greater explanation but to show you how electrifying you make me feel."

"But we only met Saturday..." I was simply dumb-founded.

"Precisely. "Precisely what, exactly? That _this_ was madness? That it didn't make sense at all?

Whatever this was with Bass, it was definitely moving way too fast for me. I knew I wasn't ready to be with someone else. I couldn't be with Bass knowing that Carter still held my heart. He was a great guy and he deserved a woman who could give him her all. That woman wasn't me, but at the same time, a teeny tiny part of me wished I was.

"Let's get you inside and enjoy the rest of the evening. Hopefully, with you in my arms. So, how about it Emma?" Bass winked at me, giving me his to-die-for smile.

I blushed at his innuendo. "Well, if you put it like that. Why waste time?" I quipped back at his wicked, grinning face. He was way too gorgeous for his own good.

_What does a man this good looking want from me?_

# ~E~

As it turned out, there was no need for my anxiety. Martin was a charming man and his wife, Miranda, was a lovely, stunning woman. Their home was absolutely gorgeous and from what I could see, everything looked expensive or like a priceless artifact. Needless to say, I didn't touch a thing.

There were ten of us, including Martin and his wife. Some of the actors couldn't make it because they were out on location, filming elsewhere. The main cast was there, except for the elusive Samantha Knowles, the lead actress.

I learned, during the five course dinner, that the movie was going to be filmed on some privately owned island in Greece, as Bass mentioned before. It was a story of a family who lost their father from the 9/11 Attacks. The mother and son leave the big city and move to Greece to start anew. The son—Bass—still recovering from the loss of his father, turns to alcohol and drugs to cope with his pain and loss. The son meets a woman who turns his world upside down. He falls in love, but in the end, finds out that she is married to another man.

It was actually an interesting plot, but I didn't get to hear the rest of the story, told by Ross Maitland—the mother in the movie—because Martin and his wife moved us to the game room.

Before we entered the red and black themed room, Bass pulled me aside and pushed me to a room that was dark and cozy. It was obvious how familiar he was with his godfather's house.

I was a little thrilled that he wanted some alone time. All night, I felt his gaze on me. Randomly, he would find a way to touch me; a brush of my hair, a squeeze of my hand, a massage on the back of my neck or one of his cute, toe-curling whispers. He managed to make me feel connected to him.

"Having fun, _my_ darling?" _I'm his darling now?_

"Actually, I am. Thank you for inviting me." I bit my lip as his closeness made my breathing more pronounced.

"Did you know that you have this glow about you when you drink? Your cheeks get all flushed and your eyes sparkle luminously. It's very enchanting..." His voice trailed off as his nose found my neck, breathing me in like I had the most beautiful scent.

Dear God, that was intoxicating... beautiful... excruciating... My thoughts were wiped from my mind when I felt his hot kiss sear my skin; soft, gentle and burning, making me shiver in anticipation. How did he taste? I wanted to feel his kiss...

I gripped his shoulder as he pushed me against the wall. His arousal was hard against my hips. "Emma, Emma, Emma," he whispered against my heated, sensitive skin, "what are you doing to me?"

Good question because I had no fucking clue.

"Bass? Emma? Are you two lovers ready to join us?" Martin's voice called out.

"Get your nosy self back inside, Martin!" Bass's playful tone made me laugh.

"He better not think we're doing something bad here," I chided. It was the last thing I needed tonight.

"The things I want to do to you are way past that. _Bad_ is putting it mildly. I want to take you up against this wall, come inside you and walk back to the rest of the party with you marked by me. I want to smile at you from across the room while I talk to someone, knowing full well that I unloaded my seed inside you. I want you to feel it drip from your mound all through the night, reminding you that you are mine and _only mine._ "

HOLY.

MOTHER.

He was one graphic man.

He gently pushed against me as he studied my expression. "You like me. You're even attracted to me," his finger pointed at my heart, "but this is taken. As much as I want to take you and your exquisite body, I don't think I could bear it if you were imagining another man buried inside you. Even if the only thing I can think of lately is... _you_. There is no other woman in my mind, no one else but you, Emma." I was incoherent and voiceless as I stared back at his azure eyes, packed with emotions far too intense for me.

"Bass, I do like you... but what you're asking of me... it's just too much—"

"I know," Bass cut me off. "That's why I'm not doing much about it."

_How could he feel this much already?_ I thought as we strolled back towards the game room to join the rest of the party.

# ~E~

I was sipping my espresso and was about to take a bite of a mini Napoleon when someone directed their attention to me.

"Do you act, Emma?" Martin Lombardo asked as he twirled his amber colored drink around his glass.

Flushed, I placed the small Napoleon back on my dessert plate. "I was in drama class back in high school. It was nothing big or anything, a small play here and there." Martin's dark eyes perked up.

"Small play? Come on, show us some of your craft!" he avidly suggested as the others joined along, encouraging me.

_My craft?_ Was he serious? Everyone here, except for his wife and I, were actors. I'd rather get hit by an eighteen-wheeler than perform my mediocre high school acting skills in front of all those professionals.

"Bass, help me out here!" I hissed at his smiling face. Sigh.

"Martin, stop putting my darling on the spot. I promised to give her a good time."

"We are having a good time, aren't we all?" he asked everyone. Amused, he asked again, "Why don't you read lines together? See how it goes? Come on, run along, kids!"

Apparently, Bass conceded and he got up and held out his hand. "What do you say, baby? Let's give these folks a show they'll never forget!"

_Ah, shit_ , I thought as I let myself be pulled up by his strong arms.

Martin got up and handed us each a paper. Bass was to be Logan—the son—and I, Angela—the married woman. My eyes skimmed through the lines as I heard Bass clear his throat.

"Ready for me, baby?" Ha!

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

David Shilling got up and jovially said, "Three, two, one and ACTION!"

**Logan:** _You're married?_ _How could you keep this from me?_ He growled, clearly pissed off; his emotions rolling off of him.

**Angela:** _I_ — _I intended to, I swear, but there was never a good time. You were persistent and wouldn't let me think for a second. It was too hard to resist you. I don't have the power to say no to you, Logan._ My voice shook as I looked at the man I loved. I went closer to him—felt his warmth—this man who arrested my soul and my very being.

**Logan:** _But you should have! You're fucking married! You've had plenty of time to say it. You could've said it when I was fucking you! You could've said it any fucking time, but you chose not to!_ He cussed as he paced back and forth, distraught.

**Logan _:_** _I don't believe this. The woman I fell for is married to someone else. How could you do this to me? To us? You've betrayed me, Angela!_ He stopped pacing and yelled at me. His eyes pained, but full of love. For me and only me.

**Angela _:_** _You love me?_ I whispered as my heart soared, lifting me higher and higher.

**Logan:** _I have fucking loved you all this time. Since the first time you smiled at me, Angela. How could you not see that?_

**Angela:** _Maybe I was afraid to look because your love would complicate things. God, I've been so stupid, Logan. I love you, too, but I don't know how this will work out. My husband will kill me if he finds out that I've cheated on him._ Logan moved closer and he held me in his arms.

**Logan:** _He doesn't matter as long as we have each other. I would kill for you. I would die for you, Angela. That's how much I love you._

"And cut!" David Shilling called out.

Everyone applauded, much to my relief! I just smiled at Bass. He embodied the role quite well. _Well, duh?_ He was an actor—an Oscar winner!

"That was amazing, Em!" Bass beamed at me and gave me a huge hug, picking me up and twirling me around.

"Thank you." I shyly looked at him and his beaming smile. For a moment, we held each other's gaze, something passed between us, but it was interrupted by everyone who wanted to chitchat.

"Wow, Miss Emma Anderson! I am impressed," Ross Maitland gushed. The older woman was an acclaimed actress, one of the highest paid in the industry, yet she was gushing at my mediocre acting and seemed to mean it, too.

I warmed at her sentiment. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you to say."

"You did a splendid job, Emma!" Martin expressed as he double-tapped my shoulder. I murmured my delighted thanks. "You both did quite superbly well..." I heard Martin trail off as I was taken by David Shilling into another conversation.

After an hour of talking and drinking, Bass finally sat next to me. He had been busy with Martin for the last hour; I guessed talking about the movie and the trip to Greece.

"Hanging in there?" Bass whispered in my ear making my entire body shiver.

"Of course, everything okay?"

"There seems to be a problem with Samantha Knowles. Martin just got a call, I'm not sure yet what is going on. Anyway, everything seems to be winding down for the evening, want to head out soon?"

"I thought you'd never ask." As fun as it was to be surrounded by these lovely people, I just wanted to chill and relax with Bass.

"Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back."

_~Unknown Author_

# Chapter One Hundred One

"I told you tonight would be entertaining," Bass said as he maneuvered the car into traffic.

It was an epic night!

"It was and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thank you."

"Do you have class tomorrow?" Bass quickly glanced at me as he shifted gears. He looked totally hot. He _was_ hot!

_What did he ask me again?_ Class tomorrow... Wednesday...

"Yeah, I have one at two in the afternoon. Why do you ask?"

"I was hoping you would spend the night with me again. Nothing crazy or anything, I just liked how our last date went and frankly, I want you with me." Direct. Forward. I liked that.

"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Another memorable night with him, why the hell not?

"I was thinking along the lines of movies and such. Are you game?"

"Definitely game," I responded as my eyes studied the man beside me.

How was I going to fight this drawing, pulling power that this attraction had over me? Sure, he kept refusing to kiss me, but if I turned on the heat and advanced on him, would he still refuse? I better not put myself in that position because what the hell would I do once Bass demanded things that I wasn't able to fully comply with?

_Yeah, exactly. You better behave and keep those lecherous thoughts at bay._

# ~E~

We were in his fifteen seat movie theatre, looking through his movies.

"What do you feel like watching?" he asked as he scrolled through the menu. "How about _Tristan and Isolde_? Have you seen the film?"

"Nope, but have you seen it?" I looked back at him as I took off my pumps and sat back on the luxurious seat.

"I've wanted to. So, I guess we'll watch this one. Do you need something comfortable to wear?" he asked as he eyed my clothing. "You look hot, but I'd rather you wear something that doesn't push my imagination into overdrive."

"Oh, so you find me HOT then?" I smiled, flirting.

He groaned and got up. "That's it! Let's get you changed and out of that sexy dress you're in." Bass offered me his hand.

I laughed at his obvious discomfort. "I don't have any clothes to change _into._ Well, unless you want me to walk around naked."

"YOU. ARE. A. TEASE," he declared and swept me off my feet.

He carried me out of the theatre and up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. _My word, he's strong,_ I thought as I hooked my arms around his neck. He gave me a smile, totally erasing any thoughts of anyone other than the very man himself.

Bass quickly took me into his dark room. He carefully placed me on his bed and the only sound was the crisp ruffle of his sheets and our shallow, harsh breathing. In the dark, his silhouette was quite alluring, but his searing eyes probed into my soul.

"Why does a person want what they can't have?" he rasped out. His sudden question bewildered the hell out of me.

"It is human nature." My response, though lame, was the truth. I knew that; I was in that position with Carter.

I sat up, trying to bring back sanity from my inconsistent thoughts of Bass. I knew I loved Carter, but I wanted to fucking kiss Bass. His lips were enticing, making me want and think things I shouldn't even be considering. I wanted to taste and feel those sexy lips, to see if they promised ecstasy because they certainly looked like it.

Bass got up and pulled a shirt and a pair of boxers from his dresser drawer. "Here, try these on. The boxers are brand new."

"Thank you," I murmured as he strode towards the bathroom and turned on the light.

"Here you go. I'll be downstairs. Call me if you need anything, okay? _Anything_." I nodded in response as I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, my throat too constricted to utter a reply.

His dirty blond hair was all over the place and, by God, he just looked absolutely to die for! His azure eyes spoke volumes; desire and lust etched in his dilated orbs.

"Thank you, Bass," I croaked. When he left the room, I sighed with relief.

My phone wasn't with me so I couldn't make a quick call to Lindsey. I didn't know what was going on anymore; nothing made sense and I was at a loss for words.

Once I was out of my dress, I put on his white shirt and black silk boxers then I went to study my reflection. I looked flushed and totally turned on. My senses were on high alert and I felt like my body was strung out with anticipation.

_Anticipating what, exactly?_

_I have yet to find out_ , I thought wickedly, shaking my head. Hastily, I left the bathroom and sought out Bass.

While I had been changing upstairs, he was busy making popcorn and getting all sorts of snacks for us to enjoy during the movie.

"You look good in my clothes, Emma," he commented as his eyes flowed from my dainty, candy pink toes all the way up to my braless state and my flushed cheeks. "I got you a comforter and a pillow. Come sit with me." He patted the cushioned seat next to him.

"This is quite the dessert feast, especially after the meal we had at Lombardo's," I noted as my eyes roved over the food before me. There was wine, popcorn, grapes, chocolate-dipped strawberries, chocolates, chips, mini brownies and Hot Cheetos. I loved how he threw something in the mix that stood out from the rest. Last time it was the Ruffles chips, now it was Hot Cheetos.

"I take it that the Hot Cheetos are yours?" I smirked as I sat next to him, legs crisscrossed as I cuddled under a soft down comforter.

"I am more than willing to share them with you, my beautiful miss." Bass beamed as he took out a remote and with one click, the lights shut off and the large screen before us came to life.

I took a lengthy sip of my wine when he gathered me close and I rested my head on his chest. _It was definitely comfortable_ , I mused.

When the movie rolled on, I was so engrossed by the star-crossed lovers that I felt gutted along with Tristan. What fated luck! To love someone the way he loved Isolde and to watch his beloved marry someone else. What luck indeed!

By the time the movie ended, I was crying and out of sorts. I felt Bass tighten his hold on me as he lightly chuckled, his chest vibrating. "Oh, baby, you are the most adorable thing!" _I just bet._ I lightly punched him, but he kept on laughing at me. "You know, had it been another girl with me in here, they would've been busy feeling me up, trying to seduce me to get me into bed, b _ut you_ —you don't care much about me at all. You were stuck to the movie. I don't know if I should be happy or insulted with that. You seem to have a knack for not making me feel so special and it's invigorating."

I suddenly looked at Bass and wondered out loud, "Do you wonder what it would be like to kiss me? Because I am dying to know what it's like to have your lips on mine, Bass."

His jovial demeanor vanished and changed to that ever so popular smoldering look of his. And boy, it was deadly... that look alone captivated me. "I have been meaning to, _wanting_ to since the night I met you. Why do you ask, Emma? Are you ready to move on? Are you ready for me?" What a heavy loaded question... didn't he do anything in small measures?

"You know I'm _not,_ Bass, but what's wrong with kissing? It's only a kiss. I'm sure you've kissed hundreds of women without much thought. Why can't you do the same with me?" I countered.

"That's the difference, my darling Emma. A kiss with you will never be considered 'one of many' and never ordinary. I can't explain it without sounding irrational, but I can't shake this intensity that's taken hold of me. I'm fixated by you, for reasons I cannot fathom or distinguish, for that matter. It's disconcerting and demoralizing to my psyche."

My sentiments exactly.

I gathered him in my arms and hugged him because he just looked like he needed it. He was so deep in thought and so bothered as he spouted the words out. He really was beyond confused. I would have been, too, if I was freaking Bass Cole and could have any woman I wanted. And yet, here he was, fixated on me; a woman who loved another man. Didn't make sense, did it?

"This totally sucks, BC," I murmured against his chest.

"Totally... anyhow, feel like going for a night swim?" Bass asked me huskily.

"I don't have my swimsuit with me, genius!"

He gave me a devilish smile. "Who said anything about clothing?" Bass continued his question loaded with innuendo. He then cocked his eyebrow at me.

Hmmm, swimming naked in the moonlight? Bass's hot body for all my senses to devour?

_Sounds_...perfect.

"Are you trying to get a peek at my goods, Mr. Cole?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it. "You know what, that's not a great idea after all. You __ naked _and_ wet __ will seriously kill any restraint I have."

"Oo, Bass Cole, unbridled and impetuous. I am curious and rather provoked."

"You're _my_ sweet torture do you know that, Emma? Put your imagination to rest because I think we should try to sleep." He got up and made three of the seats lean backwards until it made some sort of bed.

Wow, super neat.

"So, we're sleeping here, I take it? Why not in your bed, huh?"

He jumped on our makeshift bed and gathered me in his arms. "The only time you will share my bed is when you're willing to give me what I'm after. Until then, we stay away from it."

Odd, but I understood.

"Are you always like this with women, Bass?"

"Always like _what_?"

"This _difficult._ I mean, how do you even manage to get laid if you don't want women in your bed?"

"I get women in bed just fine, Emma. The big difference is _my_ bed. I go to hotels if I need to fuck. It's cleaner that way, faster to get away."

HAH.

"Wham-bam thank you ma'am? Hm, I knew the playboy side of you was in there somewhere. For a second, I thought you were lost." I smirked.

"I love women, Emma. What can I say? I love every fucking thing about a woman. That's why I can't figure out why I'm so fixated on you. You're beautiful, don't get me wrong, but there are tons of beautiful women around me and I want to fuck them when the opportunity arises, but with you, it's not as easy. I want to fuck you, but I can't seem to even manage to kiss you. Isn't that the most absurd thing you've ever heard?"

"That _is_ kind of weird," I mumbled. "This might sound weird, but how old are you?"

"I am twenty-three. Why, how old are _you_ , Miss Emma?" His brows wiggled in question.

"I am a woman of twenty." For such a young age, he was quite accomplished.

I was honestly a tad jealous about that. I guess my indecisiveness about what I wanted to do about my future took a toll on my self-esteem. I hated how other people knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. The only thing I knew growing up was that I didn't want to be a doctor. Period. Apart from that, I was so lost and admitting it didn't make me happy at all.

Bass stroked my hair. "Hey, I didn't know my age would make you look so sad," he tried to joke. "What's wrong?"

Shrugging, I sat up, opposite of his laid-out, relaxed position—looking like a sexy Abercrombie model. "It just dawned on me how jealous I am of you. I mean, in the sense that you seem to know what you want in life. I, on the other hand, have no fucking clue what my future holds." Biting my bottom lip, I continued, "Do you think that's pathetic? I'm twenty-years-old; aren't I supposed to have had an epiphany by now or something?"

"What did you love doing when you were younger? The only thing that helped you escape your reality and feel that you'd found solace and happiness in it and through it?"

That's easy to answer. "Reading and I loved my drama classes in high school."

"So, there's your answer. Pursue a career that has to do with reading or drama. Why wait and ponder like a lost puppy?"

"It's not that easy, Bass! Not everyone has freaking connections like you do!"

He looked offended. "Hey! I know I have good connections in the industry _now_ , but that doesn't mean I didn't have to work hard for it. Do you think I didn't have to work from the ground up? I had to start somewhere and had to build up my acting credibility by taking odd jobs here and there; like getting paid minimum wage to be an extra in an Indie movie wearing a hotdog suit for twelve hours or being ridiculed for being an amateur from hotshot directors and well accomplished actors.

" _But you know what_ , Em? I took it in stride and brushed it off. As much as I hated it, I knew where it would lead me. All that hard work paid off in the long run. I didn't give up because it was what I _wanted_ to do. _Passion_ is the fire that drives us to do the things we do. The _reason_ we do the things we do. So, if your passion is reading and acting, _then there it is_. Go write or act without hesitation. Put your foot forward and give up your soul to your passion. It makes life worthwhile when you give your heart and soul to the things that are gratifying and priceless to you."

So much depth and profound meaning...

"Gee, that was something. Thank you, though; I might just do that. Write or act, I mean. I'll think it over."

"You should because life is meaningless if you live it half and half. Being whole should be your sole goal and ambition."

Half and half _, is that what I'm doing?_ Weeding through my life... half and half?

"So... you feel _whole_ then?"

"Career wise, yes, but personally, I am getting there. One can't have everything in life at the same time, but I am a patient man and I will figure it out sooner or later."

He was confident and knew what he wanted...

"For such a young man, you seem to have it figured out."

"I had to. My parents were almost never there for me so I had to figure shit out on my own, you know?"

"Oh, that must have been hard. Growing up in itself is hard, but having to figure out everything on your own must have been challenging."

Bass boyishly grinned at me. "I like that."

Dumbfounded, I asked, "Like what?"

"That you didn't say 'sorry' about my parents being absent. Most people do when I tell them." His hands pulled me down next to him.

We were lying down, face to face and I watched his azure eyes sparkle. "I really like you, Emma," he declared.

Oh, man. He was going in for the kill, yet again.

"I really like you, too, Bass. I really do, but I'm not ready for anything more."

His eyes searched mine, without blinking. "Because you're in love with the man from the apartment right?"

An _angry_ man to be precise.

"Yes," I whispered back to him.

"Why are you in love with him? What makes him special?" His gaze still probed, seeking answers.

_Fuck, what do I say to that?_

I've asked myself that before and couldn't seem to find one good reason. _Sure_ , Carter was dynamite in bed, but apart from that, what? He was sweet—from time to time—which wasn't a consistent trait. So, what then? His rock-hard body and asshole attitude? We didn't really talk much about anything in depth. For reasons I couldn't fathom, though, I did love him.

When he got hurt once during a soccer game against UCLA, he blacked-out for a good minute and I thought of never being with him again. I knew then that I loved him, much to my dismay.

There was a lot of truth about what people said about falling in love with the wrong person. Your brain might have told you it was a horrible idea, but your heart ruled everything. _It just did_ , plain and simple.

"I can't explain how or why I do, I just do. I remember that it just dawned on me one night. It's been hell ever since."

"You don't seem very happy about it," this wise man observed.

"No, I'm not. He's not an easy man."

Hell no, Carter Mason was not easy! He was a walking contradiction, for reasons about which I had no clue.

"I understand." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Bass, let's go for a swim? I feel restless."

"Seriously? It's like three in the morning, Em." I got up and left the movie theatre.

"Last one there has a sore, hairy butt crack!" I yelled after him.

# ~E~

"Whoa, there!" Bass uttered as he saw me wiggle out of his boxers and hastily place them on the pool lounge.

The moon was high and the City of Angels glittered before me; thriving, alive and so full of life! It really was beautiful here, especially at night. It looked downright riveting. The huge swimming pool looked too enticing to resist. The color matched Bass's azure eyes.

What was he waiting for anyway? The known bad boy was hesitant.

"What's wrong, Bass? Admitting that you have a sore, hairy butt crack?" I teased, but he was too stunned to reply. His blue gaze stuck to my skimpy thong-clad bottom. A jolt of excitement coursed through me as Bass took me in with his eyes. It was intoxicating and it made me feel beautiful. " _Hello_ , earth to Bass Cole?" I waved both hands at him.

Bass cleared his throat. "I don't think this is a good idea, Emma."

_Yeah, right. I'm only young once and I want to live and let live._ Who cared if I had my heart broken? Who cared if Carter didn't love me? At least I was alive—alive and breathing and enjoying Bass Cole's arousing countenance. _I am grateful for life's good blessings,_ I thought mischievously.

"Why not? It's not like this is the first time you've swam naked. In fact, it was your suggestion to skinny dip, if I recall correctly." I pouted at him.

Seriously, Bass looked like the epitome of a sex god. The way he would brood when he was in deep thought or the way he held his hands on his hips when he didn't agree on something. Every single move he made just oozed of sex. Bass was potent with masculinity and I found it erotic and stimulating. According to most females, they felt this way about him, too. Furthermore, all that fame and power didn't seem to get into his head. He was quite grounded and not stuck up, surprisingly enough.

I didn't know what precisely triggered my audacious attitude, but I felt like I had some kind of clarity. Maybe it was the tiny stint of acting in Martin Lombardo's home or the talk I had with Bass or quite possibly the wine talking, but it didn't matter because I felt fan-fucking-tastic!

"Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she's beautiful but don't have anything to talk about, it's going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person."

_~Amanda Peet_

# Chapter One Hundred Two

"Emma, I'm telling you again, this is not the wisest of ideas," Bass croaked out.

I merely shrugged as I pulled the hem of my shirt, lifting it upwards and off.

I turned around to face Bass. "Ready to swim?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Emma Anderson," Bass taunted me as he placed a bottle of vodka and his phone at the edge of the pool. I just gave him a seductive smile.

Without breaking eye contact, he took off his clothes—all of them. What was a skinny dip if one didn't take it all off?

I gasped as Bass pulled down his boxers and stepped out of them.

"Is it up to your approval, my darling?" he amorously asked me. Cocky.

I couldn't help but lick my lips and I tried to drag my eyes away from his...

He actually laughed at my embarrassment before diving into the pool. I watched him __ swim a few laps before he came up for air. I made sure to stay in the deep end, choosing distance. We were on opposite ends of the pool.

"Scared of me already?" he called out as his hands leisurely skimmed through the warm water.

"Hell no; should I be?" I asked. He was daring me to come closer, so I did.

I watch his Adam's apple bob up and down as he guzzled the bottle of Vodka. "You're not going to share that? What a greedy man you are, Bass," I teased and then settled myself right next to him, our arms touching.

"I'll share whatever you want me to share, little lady," he retorted back as he handed me the bottle of vodka, eyes zeroed in on my lips as I placed the bottle opening to them, threw my head back and took a quick gulp.

I couldn't help but shiver. "Argh!" I muttered as I placed the bottle back on the white cobbled floor, next to his phone. "Bass, are you nervous?" I leaned close to him. Wanting him to kiss me, touch me, something!

Without answering me, he went under water and swam away from me. When he came up for air, he swam towards the middle side of the pool and stared out at the city.

I couldn't help following him. He let out a soft moan when I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He grabbed my waist and drew me into him, pressing my back against the pool wall.

Face to face, we stared at each other, both hearts on a wild stampede. With the searing power of his eyes, he caressed me—slowly, decisively and acutely.

Then, he said the sweetest thing.

"Exquisite, so lush and pure

Will you taste as sweet as I have dreamt you to be?

I'm staggered by your magnetism, your beauty and your truth—

Will I captivate you as you have done me?

Sweet Emma, your name alone, spoken from my lips gives me enough sweetness

Savored and cherished as one should be."

He buried his head in my neck and softly bit it. I moaned and threw my head back, exposing my neck to give him full access to it.

"Bass," I gasped out his name.

From the base of my throat, his hot tongue snaked out and licked my wet skin all the way to my chin. His hand found my nipple and he placed it between his thumb and finger, twisting it back and forth as he sucked on my neck and bit into it as my legs locked on his hips.

"I want... Bass... your lips... _kiss me,_ " I pleaded, breathless. MY hips grinded against him and my scantily covered, hot mound rubbed against his naked cock. He panted against my neck and I became determined with my grinding.

I felt the hazy lust-filled moment that blanketed us; leave him when we heard his phone ring. Bass cursed. Kissing my forehead, he unlatched my legs from his waist and swam towards his ringing phone. I heard him say, "This better be important, Papa."

Bass pulled himself out of the pool and walked out of earshot. I drug myself out of the pool and laid in one of the lounge chairs, awaiting his return.

"Emma?" I heard Bass call out.

"Yes?"

Strolling towards me, Bass sat on the edge of the lounger. "That was Martin. He's wondering if you're interested in replacing Samantha in the film."

I sat up. "Shut up!"

Bass shrugged and smiled. "If you say so."

My mouth hung open. "Martin _wants_ me? But I fucking suck compared to other actresses. I'm an _amateur_ , what could I possibly offer?" "Chemistry, he said we crackled with it." He reached out and stroked my calf. "Martin is known for picking out fresh faces and he has an eye for making a hit. He thinks _you and I_ will be a hit. That alone proves how much he wants you to be onboard. Will you do it, Em? Filming doesn't start until summer time anyway."

"Bass, are you crazy? _Of course, I want to do it!_ It's a fucking Martin Lombardo film. I am not dense; I recognize that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but what I'm worried about is... I don't want to disappoint any of you guys. This is major for me. I'm psyched and freaked out at the same time."

"Baby, look at me," he requested. "You're great. I'm not saying this just because I feel like I should, but you were fantastic. Didn't we just speak about you following your dreams? Well, this is it. It's the universe calling out to you and handing you this amazing opportunity. What other fantastic way to debut your acting skills other than being the lead actress in a Martin Lombardo film?"

"I don't know." I shook my head and let out a long breath. "Can you guys give me until the weekend to think it over?"

He shook his head. "Martin needs your answer by nine this morning."

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."

_~Danny Kaye_

# Chapter One Hundred Three

Nine in the morning?! That's like five hours from now, _more or less_!

Bass was right on one thing though, what better way to debut myself than to do _a_ Lombardo film?

However, amazing as the idea was, I couldn't help feeling frightened. What if my acting was subpar? What if they hated it? Would I be able to handle acerbic reviews and comments angled towards me by critics?

My heart was galloping. It was already heightened from making out with Bass, but _then_ it had skyrocketed to an unparalleled level. I was agitated and in dire need to speak to someone other than Bass. First, I needed to be alone to soothe my nerves then I would call Lindsey.

Yes, I would call my friend even at this ungodly hour.

I was in dire need of a 911 emergency therapy discussion.

"Do you mind if I go shower?" I asked Bass. He looked a bit confused about my question. I was sure he wasn't expecting me to say something so random, but I felt like I needed a hot shower. _Right now. PRONTO._

"Go ahead and feel free to use my bathroom upstairs. You know where everything is. There is an extra toothbrush in the second drawer on the left and there are soaps and shampoos in the shower, use whatever you need."

I hesitated a second before I leaned over and gave Bass a peck on the cheek and hastily left the pool area. I knew it was stupid to hesitate after what we were doing a few minutes ago, before we got interrupted by Martin, but I was beyond confused.

Why wouldn't Bass kiss me? It seemed like the more I pushed him to do it, the more he hesitated. Well, he could keep his kisses 'cause his licking and biting sure as hell got me hot and bothered in no time. I knew girls shouldn't compare, but I couldn't help doing it. Carter was awesome, but I felt like with Bass, it would be explosive. I had concluded this after that teeny, tiny stint in the pool? Hell yes!

_I felt it_ —in my bones and in my core. God only knew what would've happened if we hadn't gotten interrupted. I wanted to see Bass lose control. Crazy, wasn't it? I wanted the real him unleashed and unbridled. I wanted the real man behind the controlled restraints. I had a quick glimpse of it and I wanted to see more. _I thought_.

I made a quick stop at the movie theatre to fetch my belongings. It was weird that I felt right at home here. I barely knew him and yet here I was—not feeling awkward at all.

Walking upstairs in my barely clad state, my mind boggled as I went to his room on autopilot. Per his instructions, I found a toothbrush and immediately took care of brushing my pearly whites while I went to turn on his shower, making the water as hot as I could stand it. When I jumped in, my eyes surveyed the selection of hair care products and shower gels I had to choose from.

Amused, I scoured for his scent amongst the scented selections. After a few tries, I figured he was a Lime Basil & Mandarin kind of guy. You'd think lime and basil would be an icky combination, but nope! It was alluringly sexy and zesty at the same time. The smell was so _him_ and I contemplated inhaling the damn scented shower gel until I passed out. I'd much rather smell it on him, of course, but that was a close second.

After my quick shower, I wrapped my head with a towel and covered my body with another one.

The screen on my phone read 4:24 am. I bit my lip nervously before I hit dial. I was about to give up after a few rings, but thank heavens, the woman managed to pick up before I ended the call. "Do you need someone to bail you out? Which station?" Lindsey grumbled as she made a loud, noisy yawn.

"This is _not_ Amber calling, babe. I know you're probably half asleep, but I need to talk to you. It's a 911." After a full minute, I thought she passed out on me.

"Sorry, had to pinch myself to wake up. What's up?" Lindsey asked with another yawn. _Yeah_ , buddy, thanks for making me feel guilty for waking you up!

"Okay, well, we both know I went to Martin Lombardo's place tonight, right?"

"Who would forget about tonight after Carter's impersonation of a growling bear?" Lindsey asked amusingly.

_Right_ , Carter's growling. What the hell?

Mentally shaking my head, I continued my story, "Well, Martin insisted for Bass and me to read lines tonight and half an hour ago, he called out of the blue and offered me the lead in a movie that he's going to be filming this summer with Bass. Martin needs my answer by nine in the morning, that's in a few hours. I'm calling because I don't know what to do, Lindsey! I mean, _I want to do it_ , but I don't want to embarrass myself either. You know?"

"Hold up; Martin Lombardo offered _you_ to star in his movie _with_ Bass and you're fucking _thinking_ this over?" Lindsey asked hysterically. She started blabbering, "Okay, I get why you're hesitating, going from your high school drama classes to the big screen. I get that this is a big, BIG **** deal for you, but Emma, Martin Lombardo himself offered you the role! He must believe you're good or _good enough_ for him to even consider you. So do me a favor and stop it with this boo-hoo party you're giving yourself because you're going to be a movie star, BABY! Get that? A. MOVIE. STAR. Ahhhh! I knew you were going places with that angelic beauty of yours, Em, _but an actress?_ That's incredible!"

"It's great and all, but what if I embarrass myself _or_ my family? Do you know how much this is scaring me? I would be devastated if I became an embarrassment to everyone I know. What if I let Lombardo or Bass down?" I voiced out my fears. "I don't want to give it my all and not be good enough. I don't think I have it in me to be butchered by the rest of the country or better yet, _the rest of the world_! God, the thought alone sends me into overdrive and I might just end up in a mental hospital."

"That overactive imagination of yours will really send you into a psych ward if you keep going on like this! I don't know why your confidence lacks sometimes because you fucking ROCK, girlfriend! Besides, if you ditch this, do you want to go on forever wondering 'what if?' Think about that because I sure as hell don't want a big fucking 'what if' in my life." Lindsey, _the voice of reason_.

"Geez, a big 'what if,' huh? Well, maybe you should check out Brody Thompson then, girlfriend, because from where I'm standing, the man is a big hot 'what if' to me."

Lindsey huffed on the other end. "Whatever. I have to go back to sleep 'cause I have a stupid quiz first thing this morning. Just remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Emma. This is like one of those opportunities that are life changing and can undoubtedly alter your universe. This is it, Emma Anderson. It's your time to shine. I just want to tell you— _either way_ —that I'm proud of you. Okay fuck it! I will be _prouder_ if you do take the damn role, woman! Imagine all those award shows and the free goodies that come along with it. Accept the role before I smack some sense into you, comprende?"

As Winston Churchill said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Heck yes, failure is not fatal. _Yet_ , I don't want a big 'what if' haunting me.

"All right, Lindsey Mason, you've finally gotten through to me. Now, go sleep and ace that quiz of yours. I will call you tomorrow after the meeting, okay?"

"Damn straight! Now you owe me some tacos and margaritas. Over and out."

_I so do_ , I thought with a smile. After a quick goodbye, we ended the call.

Feeling convinced and assured, I strolled towards the bedroom to get a new shirt and boxers. I chose all white this time. I mean, there was only black and white to choose from. Why didn't he wear any other color? I bet he would look gorgeous in blue, especially with those eyes of his.

I found Bass in the theatre on the makeshift bed he made earlier, lounging in a pair of white drawstring pants and nothing else. His blond hair was wet and when I got closer, I breathed in the scent of his intoxicating shower gel. Dammit, it smelled much more delicious on him.

Without thinking, I traced the ridges of his tanned, steel abs with my forefinger, feeling the smoothness of his skin that was hot on my skin. Boy, he felt wonderful in all his steely, hard muscled goodness.

Bass groaned as my finger went a little lower, an inch above the top of his pants. He immediately grabbed my hand and kissed each of my fingers as he laughed. Tingles reverberated all through me.

"As great as that feels, I can't let you go on. Tell me though, have you thought about it?" Bass inquired. He sure was eager to know.

"Well..." I teased, smiling at him.

"Yes? _No?_ Come on, Emma. You can't miss out on this opportunity! Not only will it be awesome, but imagine spending all that time with me in Greece. We can explore the islands when we aren't filming; get to know the culture and the history. You're going to love Greece, it's beautiful. I've been there once and it was marvelous! I want to see it again, _with you._

_Bass Cole, I think you've just disarmed me._ The picture he just painted was pure bliss. "How long will we be out there?"

He grabbed my hand and started to caress it. "Three months—possibly four–depending on how well it goes. I believe the privately owned island is somewhere on the Aegean Sea and is small. I think it has a population of roughly one thousand."

Three to four months with Bass. That's ninety to a hundred and twenty days with him. That's a long... _long time_... on an island... a beautiful Greek island... with a beautiful man. Hmmm, what to do?

"Well, that's quite a long time, you know?" I teased as he shifted me onto my back and positioned his super sexy body atop mine.

_Yes, yes, yes!_ my mind rejoiced.

"Say yes!" he commanded with a lopsided grin, exposing his sexy dimples. Gah!

"Um," my voice trailed off when I felt his hand slide inside my shirt and caress my side. Was it wrong of me when I 'accidentally' opened my legs a tad wider to accommodate him better?

His blue eyes became dilated as they looked into mine. "You feel like silk," he rasped out as his hand moved a little higher. I pushed my hips against his and found out how aroused he really was. Bass hissed from my bold gesture. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't be touching you this way. It's too early for you."

Are you for real dude? Come on! "Don't you think that's for me to decide?"

Bass kissed my nose and held my chin. "No. I'm not taking you while you're in love with Carter."

Well, there goes my sex drive, thank you. If that's how he felt, then there was no way we were going to have sex anytime soon. Bummer.

"I see... then I guess it would help if you didn't make me all aroused then?"

"Promise it won't happen again." He moved to the side, got the remote, turned off the lights then gathered me in his arms.

How could he just turn me down like that? He was all relaxed and here I was, uncomfortably wet and turned on. How annoying was that?

"Tell Martin 'yes' when he calls."

His strong arms pulled me tighter against his chest. "You won't regret this, Emma. This will open a lot of doors for you, just you wait and see."

I didn't doubt it. I just hoped that I could handle all of it.

"I'm going to call my agent first thing in the morning and take care of that for you. Barbara will take you on and she has a great team with her. So, go to sleep. I'll figure everything out before you wake up tomorrow morning."

Sigh, I couldn't continue brooding while he was being all nice.

"Thank you. You don't have to, really, but still, thank you for arranging it for me."

"No worries. Just don't forget to thank me when you're accepting your first statue though." Bass chuckled.

Ha!

"I'll be leaving for Canada in a week to film the third KOC movie. I really needed the good news."

He's leaving in a week? What?!!! "You never once mentioned that. How long will you be gone?" I felt hurt for some reason. He never said a word!

"Six months," he grunted and nuzzled the crook of my neck. "Saying it out loud would have made it real. I like spending time with you and I'm not ready to go, but _I have to_. I apologize for not telling you any sooner."

Shit. I guess it was a good thing we didn't have sex or anything to complicate things. He was leaving after all.

"That's your job, _your life_ , Bass. You don't have to say sorry about that." I knew how much he loved his job and I sure as hell wasn't going to interfere.

"I know; that's why I wanted you to get the role Martin offered. I think it would be the best thing for us both. You get to see if acting is something you'd want to pursue and I get to be around you every single day." _Man, he was really serious about me._ _How long would that last_ , I wondered.

"Trust me, Bass. You'll get bored seeing me every day after a week. You'll be running in the other direction afterwards." I smirked at the thought, picturing him running away from me like he did when he was trying to avoid his fans. I guessed only time would tell...

His arms squeezed me tighter as he let out a long sigh. "May you have the sweetest amongst the sweetest dreams, my dear Emma."

Sweetest dreams, indeed.

"Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It's our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit."

_~Mary Lou Retton_

# Chapter One Hundred Four

"I've read through the contract and let me just say that you've been given an excellent deal." Barbara Schwartz eyed me through her gold-rimmed glasses.

How she read through hundreds of pages in such a short time was beyond me. Barbara was at Bass's house at eight in the morning, looking like an agent straight out of that show _Entourage_. She was quick, sharp, and straight to the point. She also brought a lawyer with her named Sammy Chang, a hoity-toity stunning Asian woman. Sammy never once cracked a smile. And she was to be my lawyer? Bass assured me that she was as sharp as shark teeth. _That_ I did not doubt for a second.

"You're to be paid a million dollars and might get more if the movie does great in the box office," Sammy Chang stated.

" _One million?_ " I parroted. That's a lot of money for an amateur like me. Shit, I better not let Martin and the studio down.

"Samantha Knowles was going to be paid ten. You got half because you're new in the industry and most people like _you_ usually get half a million max. To say this deal is excellent is an understatement," Sammy said matter-of-factly.

I was new and inexperienced, so I understood. I nodded and took a big gulp of my lemonade.

"Let's go over the important details of the contract." Barbara looked at me as she opened a portfolio. "Do you have any reservations about being filmed in the nude?"

I shook my head. _I guessed not?_

Barbara gave me a curt nod. "Good, because this film is centered around the woman cheating on her husband. They want the scenes to be as erotic as they can get. After all, the title of the movie is _Blasphemous_ so nudity is to be expected.

I agreed, "Of course."

Barbara paused for a second while she stared at me. Blinking a few times, she shot out, "Moving on; your hair needs to be longer _so no haircuts_ , just an itsy bitsy trim. There's a mandatory health screening to make sure you're not going to drop dead once filming starts. Three months before the shoot, you have to see a fitness trainer and a yoga instructor twice a week. The yoga will make you more limber for the sex scenes. Speaking of which, there'll be five sex scenes and you will be baring all your naked glory. So you see why they indicated it in bold lettering that you see a personal trainer? They don't want any love handles. That would kill the film. If you still have _any_ , we can do liposuction, but from what I can see with your figure, you're in good shape. I'd rather be safe than sorry, though.

"You will also be assigned an acting coach during this time—if you so wish it. I advise that you also hire a dietician for your daily intake of calories. You are obligated to do all the promotional tours—radio, magazine and television interviews. If you don't comply with that, you will get sued. Do you have any aversion to waxing all the hair on your groin?" Barbara inquired in such a serious tone; you'd think we were plotting to invade Iraq.

I wanted to laugh but instead, I shook my head. "No."

"Good. Since you're _new_ , I advise that you comply with each and every demand they make and do everything they ask of you. You can make your own demands later on when you've made it in the industry. Do you have any questions, Ms. Anderson?"

A whole fucking lot! _Five_ —FIVE SEX SCENES! How did that escape Bass's notice? Instead I said, "I think you've covered all the bases. Where do I sign?" I grabbed Barbara's expensive gold pen. By the looks and feel of it, the pen was probably made of real freaking gold.

After what seemed like an endless amount of paperwork, we were finally done. We had been at it for more than an hour and I was ready to sign on the dotted line to get it over with.

"I will also need you to sign one more contract that states I will be your agent and so forth. I'll call you later on next week."

"Yes, that would be good," I responded as both women got up.

"I would stay longer to go over any questions you may have, but I have a plane to catch. I need to save one of my clients from joining a cult in Ohio. I don't normally accept _just_ anyone, but you were recommended by Bass so it was already a done deal." No smiles here. What was wrong with these women? They were both so automated and stuck-up. Were they acting like this because I was no one special? More than likely.

"Thank you for that." _Sort of_.

Barbara Schwartz nodded as we shook hands. "Welcome to Hollywood." With that, they both strutted out of the house and off to Ohio.

I sat back down and stared at the horizon. _I just signed! I WAS IN!_ All sorts of emotions washed over me. I hoped that I would rock this Angela character because if I _didn't,_ I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive myself.

Sighing, I got up and looked for Bass.

"Hey!" Finally, I found him in the kitchen making a protein shake.

"Hey, yourself! Did it go well? I didn't want to interrupt—that's why I left you alone out there."

I didn't know if it was the time to bring up the sex scenes or not. Maybe I was overreacting; maybe if I weren't an amateur this would be a piece of cake. The thought of being in the scenes with Bass made my temperature rise.

"It was good. Lots of paperwork." And lingering thoughts of your hot bod on mine and all sorts of illicit ideas... I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it.

Bass gave me a dimpled smile. Too hot... _he was too hot_. "Martin just called to congratulate you, but you were still out on the patio with the ladies. He'd like to meet us for lunch to celebrate. Do you feel like going out?"

"I'd love to, but I have to get back to school. I don't want to miss class. Can I get a rain check for next week?" Not really, but I wanted to be alone for now. This was a massive deal to me. I needed to make a quick visit to see my parents to tell them about this.

"Sure, that'd be great! Let me know when you want to leave. I'm ready whenever you are," Bass said as he kissed my forehead.

Gawd! I wanted to hang on to him for another second, but he moved away.

# ~E~

After class, Lindsey and I agreed to meet up at the coffee shop because she was in between classes and couldn't wait to get back to our place before I spilled all the details. So, I spilled. Everything.

"One mil? And you have Bass Cole hot on your heels? I hate you!" Lindsey came over and rained me with smacking kisses. "You're going to kill that role; you know that, right?"

I sure hoped so. "I will try _or_ die trying," I said sheepishly. Lindsey's overexcited bubble was contagious.

"There's a party tonight at Carter's house. I think we should go and celebrate.

"Um, have you forgotten that your brother despises me?"

"Pft. Yeah, right! He doesn't despise you, _he wants you_ all to himself. It's a big party tonight, so you might not even run into him." That was plausible.

I had planned to drive back to Ojai and see my parents... but... I guessed I could ditch that idea and do it later this weekend.

"All right, but don't tell anyone, okay? Let's just keep it between us for now. I'm not ready to be bombarded with questions and gossip."

Lindsey pinched my cheek. "Your secret is safe with me. Party starts at eleven. We should grab some dinner somewhere fancy-shmancy tonight. I'll be back by six and we'll leave at seven. Ta-ta!"

After Lindsey left, I stayed and finished my coffee. I couldn't help -feeling great! I supposed Bass was right. It was my time to shine.

# ~E~

"The girls aren't joining us?" I asked Lindsey as she studied the menu with intensity.

"We'll meet up with them later on. Tonight's just our date night. We have so much to catch up on and I doubt you'd appreciate me grilling you about your new movie role with Cece around. Ah, can't wait to see her reaction when she learns about it!" She gave me an evil smile and went back to studying the menu some more.

"What's the story between you and Cece, anyway?" I asked after the waiter took our orders.

"Would you be shocked if I told you that Cece and I used to be best friends, but ended our tight knit friendship during freshmen year?" I choked on the little piece of buttered bread I just swallowed.

With a big hefty gulp of water, I asked flabbergasted, "You and Cece were BFFs? That's like mixing oil and water. I don't believe you!"

She merely shrugged and looked thoughtful for a moment. "We were—until she slept with the guy I was so in love with."

Ouch. What a back-stabbing bitch!

"That does sound like good ol' Cece to me."

"Yeah, she was always like that, but I didn't think for a second she would go for mine. I mean, she knew I loved him for so long, you know? And she was my best friend. When rumors flew that they hooked up, I was heartbroken. Not only did I lose my best friend, but I lost my first love, too—unrequited love—but still, it counted to me."

How stupid could that guy be? He chose Cece over Lindsey? Come. On. That was like choosing good quality over used goods. Gah, men and their stupidity.

"Good riddance to both of them. It's not like the guy was worth it. In fact, he was downright obnoxious."

With a strawberry margarita in hand, she smiled at me. "Precisely, that's why Brody is out of the question."

Brody sexed it up with Cece _over_ Lindsey? What a douche lord! Maybe he needed to get his eyesight checked.

"Well, color me shocked. I didn't think good boy Brody cranked his tractor towards _whore-aholic_ women." Mean of me to say, yeah, but everyone that knew Cece knew how much she got around. I was just calling it like it was.

"Enough about me, let's talk about you and your exciting life! Have you concocted a plan yet?" I looked at her confused. She smacked my hand that was on the table. "Hello? On how to get him into bed? Don't tell me you haven't wanted to? A nun would be tempted to leave her convent for a quick roll in the hay with that _fine_ man."

"What's the point? He's leaving a week from today." That thought alone sobered me up. No more Bass and his toe-curling smiles. Or his deep husky laugh. Or his smoldering eyes. Yeah, I was going to really miss him.

"Fuck. That seriously sucks! Maybe you two can figure something out, you know?" she enlightened me.

"We'll see. Let's not talk anymore about Bass or the movie—"

"Good, idea! It's already forgotten!" she interjected without letting me finish my sentence. One of the finest things I liked about Lindsey was that she just _got me_.

So, for the next two and a half hours, we discussed everything else, catching up with each other's lives and enjoying each other's company.

By the time we got to Carter's party, the alcohol in my system was working in full-swing. I was swaying my hips to the loud music before I even managed to get inside. I did have something to celebrate, after all.

"Oh, fucking shit!" Lindsey cursed as I was breaking through the crowd behind her. I stopped as soon as I heard her.

"What?" I asked, looking at her before I followed where her eyes strayed.

_Oh fucking shit_ was just about right.

It was Carter, sitting like a fucking mighty king in his own kingdom while some insipid bitch gave him a lap dance. The music of Pit bull __ thumped loudly from the speakers and the bitch was moving her ass in the air, jiggling it exaggeratingly. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. The whole thing was fucking unbelievable! It was, _until_ Carter saw me. While the bitch was humping and grinding herself all over him, Carter's unwavering eyes were trained on me.

"Let's go!" Lindsey spoke next to me.

I knew I needed to move, but __ for some odd reason, I wanted to watch and see how far Carter would take the scene he had going on for everyone to see. "I'm fine. You go and look for the girls. I want to see where your brother will take this nice demonstration of his."

Lindsey's jaw hung ajar. "You're insane!" she hissed. I merely shrugged. When she realized that I was serious, she left me to watch the _real_ Carter in action.

I thought the teeny, tiny skirt was enough display but _no, no_ the woman actually took off her top and skirt and was only wearing her matching fire-engine red bra and thong. She then hooked her flimsy skirt around Carter's neck as she pulled him to her breasts. The guys hooted and clapped while the bitch became deliriously excited. Disgusted, I decided to stop looking when the hooker took off her bra.

When I got outside to get air, I received a text message from Bass.

Bass: _You may be out of my sight and far from my reach... but you are certainly never out of my mind... Goodnight, my sweet Emma._

Oh, my word. I think I was hyperventilating. Why the hell didn't I meet him _before_ Carter came along? I would've jumped on Bass's bones in a heartbeat.

"Emma!" I stilled when I heard Carter yell my name. What did he want? If he was looking for a quick lay, he'd be better off with the skank inside.

Without turning around, I asked, "What do you want, Carter? If you're looking for a lap dance from me, you're shit out of luck."

"I followed you out here because I wanted to see you. How are you doing?" Carter inquired.

Was he for real? _How am I doing?_ WTF!

"I am doing fan-freaking-tastic. Now, will you leave me be?" I screeched, immediately walking towards the beach. I knew it was dark and all, and probably not a great idea to walk around alone, but I needed to get away from him. Carter was simply infuriating and I couldn't stand being so close to him.

"Why do you keep running away from me?" the dense man asked from behind me.

Sigh. Honestly? "You're an ass. You're selfish, inconsiderate, cold, infuriating, insensitive and the list goes on and on. Now, will you please go away?"

Carter hurried his stride to catch up, then stood before me, lifted my chin with his forefinger and gently kissed me. Before I had time to think, he pulled away. "If that's what will make you happy, then I'll leave you alone, but I am going to watch you from here because it's dark and I don't want a bunch of drunkards anywhere around you while you're all alone, understood?"

I nodded as I considered his suggestion. Carter kept to his promise. He did leave me alone but I could feel his searing gaze from where I sat, staring across the Pacific Ocean.

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

_~Franklin D. Roosevelt_

# Chapter One Hundred Five

"Wake up, Emma!" Lindsey shook me. God, how many times did this woman need to wake me up during the week?

"Go pester other people, Linds," I grumbled against my pillow as I tried to shut her giddy tone out of my mind. _Sleep.... please come back to me,_ I pleaded.

"You're such a grump! I need a favor and you have no choice but to say YES," Lindsey Mason demanded in her own cute way.

I ducked under my pillow and yelled, my voice muffled, "You want to borrow my car, go ahead. You need to borrow something from my closet, I don't care. Honestly, do whatever you like as long as you leave me alone so I can sleep!"

"Sorry, doll face, but my favor will take up your entire weekend. We're going to Lake Tahoe."

"Lindsey! Look at me!" I sat up with my eyes barely cracked open as I pointed at my sleepy face. "Do I look like I want to go on a road trip? _No?_ Good because I don't want to go. Lake Tahoe is like an eight-hour drive. Nothing you could say or __ do would make me change my mind—well, unless it's a 'do or die' situation, then I just might reconsider." I flopped back on the bed and sighed as I closed my eyes.

Finally! Sleep! I rejoiced, but it was short-lived.

"I've been sleeping with Cooper for the last six months, but I accidentally slept with Brody last night. And all of us are all going to Lake Tahoe, as we've been planning for, like, the last three months. I need your help _like_ so badly!" she rambled.

_Like_ , she really loved using that word— _wait!_ Cooper Haze and Brody Thompson? Whoa! Talk about double hotness overkill!

"Like, holy shit, Lindsey Mason! What? _What!!!_ Cooper? Cooper is like even worse than your own brother! Does Carter know? He's going to murder him. And my God! You slept with Brody? What the hell are you going to do now?" My mind ran through a few scenarios, none of them were any good.

"I know! This is something I wasn't expecting, Em. I mean, Cooper was just a good lay, but lately he's been wanting to make it official. He's even willing to talk to Carter about it. I think that happened because Brody spoke to Carter about wanting to date me and Carter gave Brody his seal of approval. Now Cooper is, like, jealous about it."

What a holy mess.

"Wow—just wow. I knew there was some inner prowess in there, but I wasn't prepared for Lady Godiva. Wow, I am in a state of shock, babe." I really was shocked beyond comprehension. Lindsey Mason and Cooper Haze? Hold up. "Hey, weren't you the one who said Cooper Haze had the 'triple ew' factor?" She rolled her eyes and smacked me with a pillow.

"God, Emma! Come on, let's admit that Cooper _is_ hot. I was a little tipsy and he just looked way too delicious to refuse and from then on, it just kept going, you know?" Uh- huh. Of course it did.

"Are you in love with Cooper?" Lindsey shook her head no. That was a good sign, right? "Okay, who do you like best then?" I asked as she chewed on her nail. I lightly smacked her hand away from her teeth. I hated the sight of chewed up nails; it was a total pet peeve of mine.

"I don't know. I've always had a crush on Brody, you know. I don't even remember how old I was exactly when I realized that I loved the man. So, I guess I've always loved him. _I mean, always_ —to the point where I threw myself naked at him—but he refused me and told me I was a 'little girl.' Now that Cooper wants to see where this is all going, Brody wants to date me, but the whole Cece thing kind of kills it for me. It's really confusing, Em. I don't know what to do." Freakin' Cece!

"I guess I should say, may the best man win! Ooo, how juicy is this? Your life is officially a soap opera." Lindsey just rolled her eyes at me. If I had to guess, I bet she was feeling like she really was in a soap opera. Two hard-headed males vying for her, pulling her in all sorts of directions. How hot and frustrating would that be to watch? Uh... _sort of sounds like your life, too_ , _right_? Shit. I forgot for a second. Ha!

"You're going with me, right?" Lindsey pouted, looking at me all doe eyed, pleading and begging for me to say yes.

Damn. Those eyes were quite convincing.

"Sure, what are friends for?" I mumbled.

A very long weekend with Carter, how taxing could that be on my sanity?

# ~E~

"All set, doll?" Amber asked as she took a peek in my room.

"Almost, give me a sec," I called without looking back to Amber as I folded my clothes and placed them in my small getaway bag.

She threw something and it landed on my bed. "Bass has called, like, twice now. Go pick it up. We'll be waiting downstairs when you're ready. Don't be long though, and _oh_ , tell him I said hi." Amber winked and left me to get the call.

Picking it up, I spoke, "Hello?"

"All packed and ready?" Bass asked.

I smiled at the sound of his voice. "Yes, you could say that. Are you all packed for Vancouver?" I couldn't believe he'd be gone for six months. I was saddened knowing I wouldn't be able to see him for such a long time.

"I'm not leaving until Wednesday, Em. I still have a few days to pack and stuff. Anyway, I just called to say have a safe trip and I will see you before I leave for Vancouver."

"Great, I'll see you then. Be safe and have a great weekend." He would be hitting the Hollywood party circuit, no doubt. Bass got invited everywhere and he'd probably hit it a little hard this weekend before he left for Canada.

"I want to say the same, but I honestly don't want you to have _too_ much fun with your ex. Just be safe, all right? Do take care, my sweet Emma. Bye."

"Bye," I whispered, feeling a little deflated.

I knew it was crazy, I'd known him barely a week, but he seemed to have grown on me. Bass's approach to life was different and I found it invigorating. He was such a remarkable man.

I grabbed my things and headed out the door. There were about twenty people meeting us in Tahoe. I looked around for Amber, Trista and Cece to ask if I could ride with them so I didn't have to ride with Carter. They were parked behind Carter's black Escalade and I could tell that there wouldn't be any room for me. I guessed I was riding with Carter, Lindsey and her sexy boy toys.

The man himself was in the driver's seat and the seat next to him was empty. Brody, Lindsey and Cooper sat in the back—all three of them were silent and broody. _Ha. I guessed I would be sitting in the front seat then?_ Sigh.

"Sorry I took so long," I apologized as I opened the door. Carter immediately got out of the car and took my bag. "Thank you," I said kindly as he went to the back of the SUV and shoved it in the trunk.

After four hours of a completely silent ride, I knew some serious stuff was brewing in the back. Carter tried to engage Brody or Cooper to talk, but none of them were speaking. After several attempts, Carter cranked the music up to fill the silence. It was better that way, I supposed. He, himself, barely glanced at me.

Still mad, was he? Well, tough.

I could ignore him all the same. Although his nearness was almost killing me, I could pretend that he didn't bother me one bit.

When my phone vibrated, I was relieved to have something to do. It was a message from Bass. He sent me the picture of us that had been on the cover of the gossip magazines, the one where I'm looking up at him with a huge smile pasted on my face, the one I looked happy in. There was a silly caption underneath it.

Bass: _I guess someone is finally 'star-struck'?_

Ha. Sure.

Me: ****_Wishful thinking, aren't we, Mr. Bass?_

Smiling widely, I typed the message. I loved the playful side of Bass.

Bass: _Indeed, Ms. Emma. Indeed, I am... can't get your smile out of my mind. Did you cast a spell on me? For there is no other alternative reason for this raging delirium._

I bit my lip as I tried to conjure a response. Did I cast a spell on him? Ha.

Me: _No witchcraft involved. Sorry to disappoint. Indeed, it is all crafty me, the one and very same. Maybe it's been a while? Suppose you need to get laid or something?_

Yeah, I was hella fishing for information, but I couldn't help it. I was curious.

Bass: _Why, Emma? Do you want me to stop?_

Stop what? Stop him from having sex? Shit, who had he been sleeping with?

Me: _No, Bass. Your life is your own. That's solely up to you._

I searched for him the other night on Google and there hadn't been any news of him hooking up with anyone. Who had he been sleeping with? I guessed he could get laid without having it splashed online. I mean, he could easily hook-up with another pretty actress without getting caught.

My phone vibrated.

Out of nowhere, Carter snatched the phone out of my hands and shoved it in his pocket. "Give it back!" I furiously demanded of the man next to me.

"No." His lips pressed together in a straight line, clearly determined and not budging an inch.

Dickwad!

"Give Emma her phone back, Carter! Stop being such a tool!" Lindsey chimed in. Her brother was unyielding.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to sit here idly while you talk to another guy, Emma? Try to be a little sensitive here. I'm trying to drive, but I can't help being distracted when you smile stupidly at his messages. I fucking hate it!"

Okay, maybe I was being a little insensitive, but confiscating my phone was going overboard. "I apologize. That was rude of me. Can I have my phone back now?"

"No." Carter's eyes were stuck on the road, not even bothering to glance at me.

"What the fuck, Carter!" I yelled at him, but he was unmoving. What the fuck!

FML!

Oh, he was definitely going to face my wrath once we got to his uncle's cabin in Tahoe. My anger was brewing fiercely. Once we were out of the car, I was going to erupt like Mount St. Helens!

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

_~Erica Jong_

# Chapter One Hundred Six

"Finally! My butt is killing me! I hate long car rides! They're the most uncomfortable things, like, ever!" Lindsey declared as Carter finally parked right outside cabin McMansion, which was big enough to hold all twenty guests for the weekend. It was beautiful. I'd seen pictures of it before, but they didn't do it justice. I remembered Carter promising to take me here, but again, that never happened.

It was almost eight at night and the long drive was beyond exhausting. I was ready to unpack and unwind.

"Hey, Lindsey! I need to talk to you for a minute," Carter yelled out to his little sister, as she headed toward the other parked cars on the driveway.

She halted. "Sure, what's up?" Lindsey asked as Carter pulled her off to the side to talk.

"I'll get the rest of the things, Em. Go on up and relax," Cooper said. He sounded a little sad. His usual flirty self was nowhere in sight. Guess he really was fighting for Lindsey and trying to be on his best behavior. Well, I wasn't on anyone's side. I used to be on Team Brody, all the way, but that went down the drain the moment I found out he ran his tractor through Cece's rotten infested field. I was a little reserved now.

"Thanks, Coop." I stretched my body and yawned. The smells of fall were floating in the crisp autumn air. Sleep was calling me, but from the looks of things, it would be hours from now before I would get any. I followed everyone towards the house.

_When am I ever going to catch up on my much needed sleep?_ I wondered.

# ~E~

"Who's up for some hot tub?" Brody asked everyone.

It had been three hours since we'd arrived and everyone seemed to have the same goal—to get wasted.

At ten, I decided to call it a night when a few drunk girls—I had no clue where they had come from—took off their clothes and ran naked towards the lake. Of course, some of the guys from the soccer team followed them. _Ah, living the good life!_ I shook my head towards the screaming crowd, amused.

I scoured the party looking for Lindsey and was relieved to find her in the kitchen. "Hey! Can you tell me where my room is? Cooper took my bag to _a_ room, but I don't know where it is, unfortunately."

Lindsey stopped smiling then. "Um... I have no clue. I'm rooming with Amanda."

HUH?

"What do you mean? You dragged me here! Now, who do I have to room with?" There were like twenty random people here and I only knew a handful of them. The thought of sharing a room with a stranger seriously freaked me out. I should've just stayed home. Maybe I'd have been with Bass right now...

"You have to ask Carter and the boys. They're the ones that arranged it." I stared at my friend, not knowing what to say.

"How could you invite me and not room with me? This just doesn't make sense at all!"

"I know and I'm sorry, but it was just such a last minute thing and I had been paired with her months ago. I'm so sorry!" Just then Brody joined us with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Want to join me in the tub, pretty ladies?" Brody grinned at us. Hmm... was he trying to score some with Linds? Well, he'd have to try harder than that.

"Actually Brody, do you think you could show Emma to her room? She doesn't know where it is."

"I will, but I need you to stay put. We need to talk," Brody spoke to Lindsey. Her smile wavered.

"Yeah, of course," Lindsey murmured. Brody looked like he meant business and he seemed to be very determined to talk to her.

"Here you are. Everyone's been looking for you." Carter strolled in the room in nothing but a pair of jeans, displaying his tanned pecs and rigid six-pack. My cheeks burned when I stared at his body a little longer than I should have. _Nice..._

Dammit!

"Oh, great, man! Emma wants to turn in. Can you show her to her room?" Brody asked.

What? _What?_ He's handing me over to Carter?

"You're ready to sleep? It's still early." Carter's dark gaze landed on me, burning holes, searing right through me.

"Yes. I want to sleep. I'm exhausted."

Carter nodded. "Okay, then. Let me show you to your room." He exited the kitchen and climbed up the wooden stairs. I followed silently behind him, not wanting to make unnecessary chitchat.

The house was humungous and I would've easily gotten lost by the time I got to the second floor. There were three wide carpeted hallways that were adorned with black and white abstract paintings. They were a striking contrast amongst the woodsy theme. I followed Carter as he turned right and made another right down a long hallway. There were two large, dark, wooden doors at the very end of it.

"Here you are, Emma." Carter opened the doors and he ushered me into a massive room with a fireplace and a big king-sized bed with a large bay-windowed lounge area that overlooked the lake. It was gorgeous! When I looked back, Carter was just standing in the middle of the room, observing me.

"Can I have my phone back?"

He pulled out my phone from his front pocket. "You mean this?"

"Yes. Can you hand it to me now?"

"No. I'll give this back to you once you set foot back in Santa Barbara. For the time being, though, you're phone free."

Incorrigible man! I just wanted to kick him in the nut-sack!

I went over to him. "What the hell is your problem, Carter? I don't get why you're acting like a petulant kid!" With another angry whine, my finger poked his hard muscled chest. "You. Are. Being. Ridiculous." I emphasized each word with my finger poking on his skin before I withdrew my finger, his hand caught it.

"You ask what my problem is?" He leaned forward, closing the gap between us. "You. You're my problem."

I swallowed. "You have to let this go, Carter."

"It's not over until I say it is." Arrogant jerk!

"Well, fuck you! We broke up already. You kicked me out of your house!"

"You wanted out. I didn't. It was my ego talking." We stared at each other. Carter gently reached out and caressed my cheek with the back of his finger. "You're beautiful, Emma. You don't know how lonely I've been without you."

Carter was lonely? What a joke! There were rumors flying that he got it on with Amanda. I wasn't stupid.

I licked my lips. Wrong move because his eyes darted there and he stared at them. "I think you should go. I want to rest."

Carter hesitantly dragged his eyes away from my lips and brought his darkened gaze to mine. "If you want to, go ahead. You can use the right cabinet to unpack, mine's on the left."

I froze.

We were _sharing_ a room? Dammit! I should've known Carter would pull something like this.

"You're sleeping on the couch. I'm not sharing a bed with you!"

"Too bad, I'm sleeping in the bed. Don't worry; I'm not going to touch you, if that's what you're worried about." Carter just shrugged and strode towards the bathroom. Within minutes, the shower came on.

Well, great, just great. I groaned. How was I going to handle sleeping in the same room with him for two nights? TWO NIGHTS! This was insane!

I strolled towards the bay windows and stared at the moonlit lake before me. Immediately, my thoughts went to the movie I just signed up for. The thought was daunting, but at the same time, I felt ready for the challenge. I mean, what if I did nail the role? My life, as I knew it, would be gone. Things would drastically change for me. I wouldn't feel so lost anymore. I would have a direction, a goal to achieve, a passion. _My passion_ , something to give my heart and soul to, as Bass described it. If there was one thing I felt I could put my soul into, this would be it. I didn't doubt it.

I turned around when I heard the door crack open. "Bathroom's all ready for you."

Without responding to the infuriating man, I just strolled past him, gathered my things and locked myself in the bathroom. This was going to be one hell of a long night for him because I sure as hell wasn't going to waste a blink of sleep over Carter! Hell no.

"Gotcha!" I exclaimed when I found my make-up bag. It was located in the very bottom of my clothes. I popped a Benadryl before I hopped into the shower. The tiny pink pill not only helped with my allergies, but put me right to sleep. After a ten minute shower, I got out and dressed in a pair of white cotton shorts and a large, soft pink, cotton shirt with a huge heart in the middle. Once I was done, I walked towards the bed. Carter was on his side, dressed in his sweatpants and nothing more, staring idly at the ceiling.

HUH.

I went over to my side and slid inside the sheets. Without a word, I turned off the light and sighed when my head hit the pillow. This entire week had been hectic. I'd lost a lot of sleep over Bass, Carter and the movie. Now, though, I was so ready to just knock the hell out.

Why didn't he go downstairs and party with the rest of his friends? This was their wild idea to begin with and now their Captain was already in bed, ready to sleep—or brood—and it wasn't even midnight yet.

Semi-unconscious, I heard him say, "I've missed you. Goodnight, baby." With another sigh, he rolled over and scooted closer to me, but not close enough to touch me. I think I dozed off after he sighed the second time.

# ~E~

When my eyes finally fluttered open, I found myself face-to-face with Carter. He was sleeping soundly. With his relaxed features, he looked like a fallen angel. My eyes traced his naked torso and slowly made their way back to his face. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. It had been so long since I had seen him so peaceful.

It caught me off guard when Carter opened his eyes and gave me a beautiful smile. If I hadn't been so surprised at getting caught, I would have smiled back. "G'morning!"

"Morning."

"Guess you slept well, huh? You snored— _sort of_ —they were like these tiny little noises coming from you, it was adorable. I stared at you doing that for hours, I think." Carter's eyes twinkled as he smiled down at me. Moments like that... I forgot everything. He was being adorable.

"I did not!"

"Did, too! Don't worry; it didn't turn me off, if that's what you're worried about. I thought it was sexy— _cute sexy_ —but still sexy, you know?"

"Shut up, Carter!" I smacked his face with a small throw pillow. I tried to do it twice to shut him up because I was starting to redden from embarrassment. Carter caught my arm and rolled me over to my back, leaving him on top of me and almost nestled in between my legs, they were barely apart.

Our eyes clashed—dark met blue. "Baby," Carter grunted when he pushed his hips against my pelvis, I unabashedly moaned. His erection was palpable, hard and hot against me. "Can I make love to you?" Carter rasped out.

Shit cakes.

I stared back at him while my breath escaped me, fully. Did he just say _make love_? Love. Carter NEVER, EVER used that word when it came to women he had sex with.

He didn't even give me a chance to reply because his lips caught mine. And hell, I reveled in his kiss, drowned in it while wishing for things that were unreachable.

His hands were quick as he pulled up my shirt and grabbed my breasts, kneading and squeezing them. My legs quivered as he pushed himself on me, grinding his cock on my mound. I moaned when he lowered his mouth to my breast and bit my nipple as his left hand sought entrance in the leg of my soaked shorts, pushing them aside so his hand could have full access to my wet silken flesh. The back of his fingers stroked the outer part of my wet folds and the act itself made me quake in anticipation for his assault. My torso lifted off the bed as I pushed my breasts out more for him to take. His hand toyed with one while his teeth and tongue lavished the other. When his tongue circled and bit my nipple, I buckled.

"Carter..." _You're driving me crazy!_ I thought as his fingers finally separated my silken folds and rubbed against my nub. My hands found his hair and I pulled it and brought his lips onto mine. Our tongues fought as his fingers continued to ambush me. I gasped when he stuck his fingers inside.

"Exquisite," he murmured. I blinked a few times. Exquisite? Bass. He uses that word—Bass.

Fuck, I needed to stop this. I didn't know why, but I felt like if I went through with this, Carter would just think I'd be back to being his permanent bootie call. _I think not_. "Stop! We have to stop."

Carter stilled. _Stilled_ —inches away from me, eyes searching mine, fingers still inside me.

"You're not serious? I'm so fucking hard, Em. I'm ready to combust here and you want to stop? What the fuck? I don't find this funny."

"Well, I don't either. Can you please take your fingers out of me?"

Carter kept staring at me and, much to my annoyance; he still hadn't pulled his fingers out. "Fine, I will stop... after you come apart on my fingers."

WTF? "No!"

However, he was determined and within a heartbeat, two fingers stroked me as his thumb massaged my nub. I thrashed and whimpered. Loving and hating what he was doing to me; hating him for making my body his slave, but loving him because I just did.

"Look at me!" Carter commanded as his fingers continued their onslaught. My body heightened and exalted. Climbing, reaching higher, for the ultimate quaking nirvana. My eyes searched his. I tried to catch his gaze, but it was hard to focus. His assaulting fingers were twirling and sliding in and out of me.

"Look. At. Me. Emma!"

"Carter," I whimpered.

"Don't hold it back. Just let go. I want to feel your juices gush like a dam on my fingers," he ordered as his fingers became serious. He took hold of my womanhood, hooking his fingers inside my walls with his thumb on my clit. His other free hand was pressed on my abdomen, pressing me down on the bed as his fingers, rubbing and flicking with purpose, obliterating any thoughts in my mind. I was locked down and didn't have a choice but to savor the sweet torture he was giving my body.

"Look at me!" Carter ordered again when he felt my muscles contract. His eyes consumed me as an orgasm hit my body. It rippled and pulsated through me and my mind went blank. I had to blink a few times before I looked at him.

Carter beamed at me as he studied the satisfaction on my face. "Shall we see how you taste this morning?" His fingers slid out of me and he immediately placed them on his tongue. He licked them without tearing his eyes off me. "You still taste like heaven, Emma."

I opened my mouth and shut it again. I couldn't believe I let him do that to me after I told him not to. Okay, I got that I didn't reject the idea much when he started to finger fuck me, but still, I was a little bothered right now and more than a tad confused.

Sitting up, I glared at his grinning face. "You shouldn't have done that!"

"Why not? You loved every second of it. If I really wanted to take you, I could've done it with ease, but I didn't. Look at my cock, it's still hard. Want to give it a go? I promise to make you come a few more times."

Arrogant son of a bitch!

"Fuck you, Carter!"

Still grinning, "Well, that was the idea, baby."

"Ugh! You're hopeless! I don't even know why or how I tolerated your absurdity for the last few months!" I exclaimed and made a move to get out of bed, but he caught me and pulled me back to him and I landed on my back.

Hovering on top of me, he spoke, "Don't leave. Stay."

Stay here... for now or _stay_ with him until he was done with me? "I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to move on." He could take that any way he wanted to, but I was done yo-yo-ing with my emotions over him. _I think_.

I had my future to think about and that was what I should put first. Messing around with Carter would be great. I mean, he was great in the sack, but then what? Have my heart broken all over again? I thought not. It would be better to just let him go now.

Pushing him off me, I scrambled to my feet. Heading towards the bathroom, I stopped midway. "Oh, by the way, thanks for the orgasm." I smiled at him and headed towards the bathroom.

Hardy har har. His expression was priceless. _Take that, jerk!_

"Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life."

_~Angelina Jolie_

# Chapter One Hundred Seven

When I got out of the shower, Carter was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, he went fishing with some of his friends. I was somewhat relieved, but my mind was nagging me. Did he fuck some other girl from his army of skanks while I was in the shower? Amanda seemed to be following him everywhere. She was pretty gorgeous, but a skank all the same. _Harsh?_ Yeah, but she totally deserved it. She would call Carter incessantly while we were still together, wanting to 'kick it.' Seriously, 'kick it' was her code? Ugh!

There were a bunch of people out on the lake and a few strolling outside, just chilling, but I didn't really know any of them. When I found Cooper in the kitchen, I was hella relieved.

"Hey, Cooper, do you know where the girls are at? I can't seem to find them anywhere."

Cooper stopped drinking from his bottled water and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Try checking their rooms. They're in the west wing. I think they're talking or whatever."

I gave him a quick wave. "Thanks, bud." I went back upstairs towards the west wing.

Sure enough, I could hear women's voices talking inside the room, but I couldn't make out what they were saying from the hallway. With a soft knock, I pushed the door open. "Why are you all in here? The weather is bright and sunny outside!" I cheerily greeted the quiet crew.

All three women looked at me. Lindsey was sitting cross-legged on the bed, Amber was sitting on the couch, hovering over a table with a bunch of credit cards splayed all over it and Trista was standing against the wall, looking pained.

_Okay..._

"Did I just miss something? Why are you guys looking all glum? _Did someone just die?_ "

Trista just shrugged and kept staring at Amber. I looked at Lindsey for answers. "Amber's parents are getting divorced."

Oh, no.

I rushed to Amber's side and gave her a tight hug. "Hang in there. You're a tough cookie."

Amber sadly nodded her head and sniffed. Aw, she was obviously crying. "I hate this shit. I don't know why Dad had to cheat on my mom with a stewardess. A fucking STEWARDESS! How original. And now he's buying the fucking whore a house in Malibu. What a fucking gold-digger. That home-wrecker is killing my mom right now. My mom's hysterical." She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. "You know what the most fucked up thing is though? The stupid bitch is our age. Can you believe that shit? My father is banging a chick our age. What a disgusting pig! I hate him!" Amber started crying severely. I rubbed her back when she started having trouble breathing.

"I don't think it's wise to lay all the blame towards the mistress, Amber. It does take two to tango, you know." Trista put her two cents in on the subject. Why weren't these two consoling Amber?

Amber growled, "Yeah, you would know, right? It takes one to know one!" Her accusatory tone and eyes landed on the shocked Trista.

What did she just say? "What the fuck are you talking about, Amber?"

Amber snorted before she busted Trista. "I followed you a couple of weeks ago because you were being so sneaky. Funny, isn't it? You're screwing your cousin's husband!"

SHIT.

My eyes went back and forth between the best friends. Trista looked teary now. "I didn't mean for it to happen like that, I swear. Harry and I got drunk one night at a family party and it just happened."

OMG! Trista really was a mistress... to her cousin's husband? Talk about scandalous!

"Well, don't you think it's high time you stop fucking each other's brains out before it gets worse, Trista? Don't you think what my dad is doing to me and my mom is horrible?" Trista slid down the wall and plopped on the floor, looking distraught. Lindsey rushed over to her side and tried to soothe her.

"I can't leave him. I don't think I can," Trista whispered. "It's too late now. I'm in love with him."

"You're ruining your life, Trista! You're not that kind of woman."

"Well, you're not one to talk about ruining lives. You've been using cocaine for like forever!" Trista retorted back with vengeance.

Cocaine? No. I pushed Amber and checked her. Sure enough, she had a clear baggie of powdery, white stuff sitting on her lap. And lots of it! "You can't be using this shit, Amber. This is so bad for you! Your dad's not worth it. He's not worth ruining your life over!"

"I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want!" Amber yelled back as she prepped her paraphernalia on the table, right there in front of us.

"Amber! Stop it!" Lindsey stood up and tried to take away her stuff. Amber stood up, too, and slapped Lindsey in the face. Lindsey recoiled from the impact. "What the fuck!" She screeched.

"I want you all out of my business right now. None of you are of any help! Do you hear me? SCRAM!" Amber sat back down again, opened her tiny baggie and poured the powdery white stuff on the table. With her Platinum AMEX card, she made three perfect straight lines, tediously. She took out a tiny black straw and snorted the first line in her left nostril then she closed her amber-colored eyes, tilted her head back, sniffed and cleared her nasal passages, making sure she got all of the powdery stuff inside. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked us each in ours. "I need you all to leave. Just give me time. I need this right now before I go crazy. I'm not going to ask again."

Frozen and horrified, Lindsey and I both looked at Trista, who merely shrugged and left the room. _What the hell!_ Were we just going to leave Amber in here, wired and high? Lindsey followed suit, but I stood there, staring at Amber, not knowing what to do.

"Amber... please... listen to me."

Amber gave me a sad smile. "This is not the first time, my friend. I'm sorry you're witnessing this ugly side of me, but I am what I am. I've done this before and quit, but I just need time to process things, okay? I really like you, Emma, but right now, I really need you to leave. I just want to be alone."

"Amber... you're hurting. You can't possibly be okay to be left alone."

"Each person hurts differently. Each person processes hurt in their own way. This is how I cope with it." I wanted to hug her. Her eyes were so haunted and anguished. I felt helpless. With a begrudging nod, I silently left the room and found Lindsey and Trista at the end of the hall, waiting for me.

"How long have you guys known?" I asked the two people that have known Amber the longest.

"Ever since it started," they both responded in unison.

"Well, isn't there a way to help her?" Why were they acting like this was normal?

"We both told her parents before, but they just didn't care. They said their daughter's a big girl and that she could handle herself."

I blinked a few times before Trista's words sank in. "Are you serious? What kind of parents would say stuff like that about their daughter's addiction?"

"Give her a week or two, Emma. This is her way— _fucked up way_ , yeah—but it's her way to cope," Lindsey murmured.

I stared at her wide-eyed. So, I guess this was just a routine for them? I hadn't known and I didn't like this. I felt like there was something we should have done.

It sucked to sit idly by and watch your friend be in shambles.

# ~E~

I still had an hour and half or so before the planned barbeque downstairs. I didn't want to be idle anyway. I would just think too much about Carter and that was a no-go zone for now.

Lindsey and Brody went for a walk and Trista went hiking with some other folks. Amber was still stuck in her room and when I checked on her, she was curled up in bed sleeping.

All by my lonesome, I figured I should get my priorities straight and my number one priority was to start studying my movie script. I wanted to call Bass so bad, but I couldn't find my phone anywhere.

So, I decided to enjoy the view from the bedroom porch and start reading through the _Blasphemous_ script. I knew I had months to go through it, but I wanted to make sure I nailed the part right. This film would be my debut and I wasn't going to do it half-ass. I wanted to embody Angela and her feelings towards Logan and her Greek husband, Spiros, perfectly.

After reading fifty pages, my cheeks were flushed. Wow, Martin was aiming for this film to be a heck of a rollercoaster of raw sex and a mind-bending whirlwind of emotions. The first kiss between Angela and Logan the first night they met was scorching. SCORCHING to the point where I could see me and Bass kissing like our lives depended on it. Gosh, that kiss would be explosive.

I figured out that Bass and I would be nude during the love making scenes and the thought of it made me break out in a sweat. If I felt like this just thinking about it, how was I going to feel when Bass and I were actually naked?

I closed the script and decided that I would read it later. Provoking thoughts of Bass and me in that heated sexual ordeal was too much to take in. Out of options, I retreated to the massive bed that was inviting me to sleep.

A nap would do me wonders.

# ~E~

"Hey, aren't you that chick?" one of the guests asked me as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember where she saw me.

"Don't think so," I mumbled as I forked the ribs and placed them on my plate.

The girl still pondered. "Yup, got it! You were in that celebrity gossip magazine, right? I think you were with _Bass Cole!_ OMG! O.M.G! Yeah! _Yeah!_ That was you! You guys were coming out of a club together! Shit, you're dating Bass Cole! Can I take a picture with you?" I stared at her, horrified. _Are you kidding me?_ I didn't understand why she was freaking out like that. The decently composed girl turned shrieking monster made me want to hide somewhere. "Wow, you're really pretty!" she kept on going. I was beyond relieved when Lindsey joined us.

My friend butted in, but not to help me. "I know, right? Give me your phone. I'll take a picture of you two together!" Lindsey offered and the ranting girl happily obliged.

What the hell? This was stupid. I was not Bass's girlfriend! "But I'm not his girlfriend!" I interjected, but neither one seemed to care.

"Give me a pretty smile, Emma! One, two, three; say cottage cheese!" I wanted to murder Lindsey right then and there.

Once the annoying girl left with her stupid picture, I went to sock my friend. Lindsey put her hands up. "Listen, I know that was stupid and I had a lot of fun teasing you, but honey, you have to start getting used to stuff like that. In seven months, this little bubble you live in will no longer exist."

She was right, but I didn't want to point that out to her. Instead, I asked about Amber and Trista. I was still in shock about what happened earlier. "Amber is hard-headed. There's no way around her," she told me. "Trista, on the other hand, seems to be hopeless. She's in love with that Harry guy and doesn't want to leave him."

Hell, it was how I felt. I was watching Trista and Amber spiral downwards and there was nothing I could do but watch as they struggled to stay afloat.

Lindsey and I were eating barbeque and enjoying the placid view of the beautiful lake before us. There were bonfires, music and tons of drunken folks singing and dancing, but we decided to choose a spot far enough away from the crowd so we could chat. We stopped stuffing ourselves with ribs when we saw Cece come out of a darkened corner with Cooper, doing God knows what. My eyes automatically darted to Lindsey.

Anger, pain, hatred and jealousy were all etched on her pretty face. "Linds?"

"I'm fucking furious right now. Does Cece have to get a taste of every guy that I've ever been with? I don't get her. And as for Cooper, he can go fuck himself and stuff his sausage in Cece's contaminated pussy."

"Sorry, I know you liked Coop." Lindsey did. She wouldn't have slept with him if she didn't.

"I just lost my appetite. Want to drink with me, doll? I know you haven't touched much alcohol lately, but I'm asking you to drink with me. I want to forget what I just saw." Crap, my friend was hella hurt. Men, we hated them and yet, we couldn't live without them.

I stood up and pulled my friend out of her seat. Before we started commiserating in our drunken misery, I had to give her a big I-love-you-no-matter-what kind of hug.

"Come on let's look for a bottle of Hennessy and Patron. It's time to crash this party!" my hurt friend said with determination.

Lindsey Mason had one purpose and that was to show Cooper Haze a big fuck you.

"Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with."

_~Candace Bushnell_

# Chapter One Hundred Eight

We'd been drinking for about two hours straight and I must say, neither of us were coherent. Once the alcohol hit Lindsey's bloodstream, she was unstoppable. She danced and made out with Brody, for Cooper to see.

"Get your tight ass up here, Emma!" Lindsey and Trista tried to gather me up with them.

I was about to get on top of the mahogany bar and join them dancing _Coyote Ugly_ style when Carter pulled me back. _This better be good..._ "Don't you dare get your drunken ass up there, Emma!" he bellowed as something flashed below me and my eyes went straight to his pocket.

Carter was wearing white surfer shorts and I could easily see my phone screen flashing.

_Bass Cole Calling..._

I lunged towards him and dug inside his pocket. "Give me that!" I ordered, but Carter was too strong for me and he pulled my hand out before I had the chance to even brush against my phone. Fuck! How many times had Bass called? How many times had he sent messages? They all went unanswered.

"Didn't I make myself clear that you don't get to have it back until we hit Santa Barbara again?"

Since Carter was a major Jerk—yes, with a capital J—I threw him my two middle fingers. "F.U.C.K. YOU! Why don't you go stick this up your idiotic ass and spin on it?" Whoops! Too harsh? My bad.

With that parting, I joined the girls on the bar just when _Womanizer_ came on the speakers. Ha ha ha! Can you say the song was perfect for all three of us gals?

_"Superstar_

_Where you from, how's it going?_

_I know you_ _gotta clue, what you're doing_

_You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here_

_But I know what you are, what you are, baby."_

Trista and I bumped our butts together as we continued on. Guys gathered around the table, taking videos and hollering. Lindsey was getting all hyped up.

_"Look at you_

_Gettin' more than just re-up_

_Baby, you_

_Got all the puppets with their strings up_

_Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em_

_I know what you are, what you are, baby."_

I could feel Carter's simmering anger from somewhere in the room, but I didn't have it in me to look for him. His abhorrent antics were getting to me and I didn't know if I could stand being close to him without killing him.

_"Womanizer_

_Woman-Womanizer_

_You're a womanizer_

_Oh Womanizer_

_Oh You're a Womanizer Baby_

_You, You You Are_

_You, You You Are_

_Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer."_

Each time Lindsey uttered the word _womanizer_ , she pointed to a man—any man. Ha! Girlfriend was on a roll. Guess Cooper Haze was now history, huh?

I sang and danced with my gals until I couldn't do it any longer. Out of breath, I jumped down off the bar and hunted for a bottle of water. I took one from the sprawling amount of iced beverages next to the bar we were dancing on and walked out of the house, needing distance from the riotous commotion that Lindsey evoked. At the same time, I couldn't stand the swirling thoughts of the men in my life.

Once outside, I walked towards the backyard and welcomed the fresh change of scenery before me. The moon was high and my entire body was blanketed in sweat. The earthy smell of pine and crisp air cleared my jumbled brain.

Lindsey was hurt. I got that and I did feel for her, but at the same time, if I was Cooper or Brody, how would I feel if the woman I was after couldn't make up her damn mind? Well, I guess that didn't take long because Cece made that decision easier for her. I just hoped that Lindsey would be okay.

Occupied with my thoughts, I strolled at a leisurely pace until I hit a stream. I leaned against a pine tree as I stared at the flowing water and the calming sound it produced. The trickling sound made me feel at peace.

Who would've thought a month ago I would be in this position? Life certainly had its way of surprising you when you least expected it, especially when you were down and out. No matter what happened with Bass, if we became involved or not, I would forever be grateful to him. _Not only_ did he open a lot of doors for me and _not only_ did he make it an easy transition for me, he made me realize a lot of things. He made me see that life was about following what your gut tells you to do and not what others expected you to do–his 'half and half' speech.

Bass was a passionate man. He spoke with conviction and truth. He was straightforward and didn't hesitate when he wanted something. I wanted to be like that. I _hoped_ to become like that. I admired him. I admired his passion and his authenticity. He was the real thing. What was exemplary about his personality was that he didn't let all the fame and fortune get to his handsome head. Bass was a grounded man.

Even with all that, I couldn't bring myself to be with Bass. _Yes_ , things were running in the fast lane—even faster than the German Autobahn—and it startled me that things unfolded as quickly as they did. _Even_ if I could get over the fact that things had been going too fast with Bass, it wouldn't eradicate what I felt for Carter.

Sure, my love for Carter wasn't as strong since I met Bass, but it was still there, lurking in the back of my mind and when I least expected it, it would pop right out at me like a jack-in-the-box.

Carter... where the heck did I even begin with that tumultuous rollercoaster?

I tensed when I heard a twig snap, bringing me out of my reverie.

Well, wasn't it the very man himself? "Emma."

I sighed. Couldn't I just have a moment of peace without him hounding me? "What do you want, Carter? Are you giving me my phone back? If you came here to be an ass again, then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!" I threatened.

In reality, I wasn't capable of beating him into the ground—he was all muscle—but I needed to relay just how angry I was. Carter was being beyond unreasonable. He made a two-year–old's tantrums easier to deal with.

Carter sighed as he raked his large, sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing he needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an over-sized ego.

"Em, I know I've been such a jerk to you over the last week. It's just—that's how I was used to reacting to things and I don't like changing what is normal to me, but this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life." Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotion, I felt faint. "I'm sorry. Please... please... _forgive me_?" he asked as he tried to reach out to me, but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me.

Words. An _'I'm Sorry'_ from Carter wouldn't cut it with me. Well, not anymore. "You're sorry? For the last week, you've been acting like a little boy who wanted his old toy back. Well—that's just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment— _I want it all!_ You're not that man—you have some kind of phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me."

He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. "I could be that man and I will— _for you,_ I will, Em. Just give me a chance!" Empty promises, they didn't mean shit anymore. Oh, he was good with those.

"Promises. Here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter— _not anymore_. It's best you get that drilled into your head." I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him.

I was so _over_ this. I'd reached my limit when it came to Carter. I didn't think I could stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pained me to do so.

With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn't sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to hear because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn't help that I was more than tipsy. I stopped abruptly when he did something I hadn't expected him to.

When I was halfway through the clearing, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "I love you." His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain.

Frozen, I let his words sink in.

The words I had waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me. They were igniting my whole body and burning me with their crackling fire.

In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. "Don't you fucking dare use _love_ in this, Carter! We both know you don't do 'love.' You don't get to use that as a fucking weapon," I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He had the _audacity_ to use that damn four letter word. The gall! My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn't getting through to me. He knew I meant what I said. Carter would not weaken my resolve. Been there, done that.

Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face. His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam's apple bobbed before he rasped out, "Emma, _please_..."

My eyes searched his and in that very instant, I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees. With his head down, he inhaled, deeply, like he needed to get as much air as he could to enable him to breathe properly. Startled and panicked, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me.

_What the hell do I do?_ I thought as I bit my lip.

Carter looked up at me. "I _love_ you, Emma. I've loved you ever since the first night you spent in my arms. I've been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage or __ strength to tell you how I felt because I was a coward, but being a coward made me lose you and now I'm trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone," his voice wobbled. "I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can't function. I need you back; I want you back because I honestly love you."

God! He did mean it.

Shit.

Fuck.

Shit.

There went my damn perseverance.

_Carter..._

"My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night, she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father was her personal trainer. She was going to move in with him... my dad... he was distraught, even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of the bargain, he'd take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you.

"The same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken-down truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his car followed suit. I'm not sure if it happened because he didn't have much time to maneuver, _or_ if he did it on purpose so that he could follow Mom because he couldn't live without her.

"You see, Emma, love doesn't come easy for me. It was the one thing I promised myself not to do—I didn't want to follow in my father's footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you... for as long as I could, but you left me no choice. When I told you I loved you... it's because I honestly do."

Oh, my God... Carter did love me.

"Get up, please," I begged. I couldn't stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.

Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. "No—not until you take me back." His contorted face gave away how serious he was.

_What do I do?_ I was torn. Should I wait for a sign to tell me to take him back _or_ should I grab at the opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple in a real relationship, not the sexual one we had before.

Bass...

What about Bass? Bass and I had known each other for such a short amount of time. I lusted after him. Who wouldn't? However, it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart's desire.

_Then_ , _what am I waiting for?_

"Fine, I'm taking you back... as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I'm giving you this one chance, Carter, don't fuck it up."

"What did you say, Em?" he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face. He obviously heard me, but wanted me to say it again.

"Uh, now you're just driving me nuts!" I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto so I could lift him up. To my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me half to death.

With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart as he spoke, "I love you, Emma, and I promise to be loyal to you and _you_ alone. I will give my all to make you happy."

_God, let's hope so because I'm dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it._

I linked my arms around his neck and looked at the man I had fallen for. For the first time since he said those words, I saw Carter in a new light. I whispered, "I love you, too, Carter Mason."

" _Thank the fucking gods_! 'Cause if you didn't, I wasn't going to let you leave the cabin until you told me that you did." I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately.

I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside. He caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.

I groaned as he whispered my name, "Emma... I love how you come apart in my arms."

Carter didn't give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn't hinder our urgent need to be together; the need to feel each other, the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness or inhibition. His gorgeous, muscled body was illuminated in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire; they were full of ardent passion, heady lust and savage desire.

His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding.

"You're worth the wait, Emma," I heard Carter say as my body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave.

"Give me more, Carter. Give it to me harder."

With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper, stretching and filling me to capacity. I reached for his ass to keep it in place, to continue to shove it deeper inside me. "Your nice little pussy is fucking heaven, baby."

We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn't live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush, cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms around his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed.

"Take everything that you want from me, baby. Ride me harder— _give me your all_. Give me that nice, juicy pussy, again and again. I want it to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby." Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to.

"Carter!" I choked out as spasms hit me in waves.

His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release.

"FUCK, BABY! You're the best fuck!" he grunted out as he came inside me.

Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. "I love you, Emma."

"This is crazy. I can't believe we did this out here."

"Sorry, I couldn't control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There's no one else but you, Emma." He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. "Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy." I smiled as I kissed him.

I hoped he would keep his promise because I didn't know if I could stand it if he hurt me again, but that's what love was, right? We had to take a risk or we'd never know what love truly meant.

"You're still on the pill right?"

I raised my brow in question. "Yeah, why?"

Carter smiled and gave my lips a searing kiss. "Tonight's going to be a long night. I'm going to make love to you over and over again until the sun comes up."

"A stud's promise?" I cheekily asked as he gave me a wink and gathered me up.

"It's only the beginning, you'll see," he said as we got dressed and then strolled back to the cabin to join the crowd.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

_~Kahlil Gibran_

# Chapter One Hundred Nine

"There you guys are!" Amanda announced in front of everyone. "Where have you been Carter? I've been looking all over for you." She pouted as she traced the outline of Carter's neckline.

"Are you blind, Amanda?" I asked the blatant flirt after I smacked her hand away from touching Carter.

"Hello? Of course not. I can't be this hot and be blind, _duh?_ Why do you like this boring, so-so, plain woman, Carter? She's just plain, _like_ vanilla. Uh, who likes vanilla, anyway? No one!" The bitch smirked at me.

I wanted to wipe that smirk off her smug face.

"Yeah, I am boring compared to you, so what? Carter wants the vanilla me and not your flavorful swirls. Get over it."

Something flashed in Amanda's eyes. She was in full catty mode. "He likes my swirls. Trust me–Carter Mason loves swirls." Amanda looked at Carter through her lashes as she stuck her tongue out and traced her lips.

"That's enough from you, Amanda. Emma and I are back together now and I'm not interested. Stop following me around and find someone else to sink your claws into."

Amanda huffed and spoke before she walked off, "You're going to miss me, Carter. I can't wait 'til you come knocking on my door."

I tensed. _Reality check, here it is._

"Let's go back to our room," Carter suggested and I didn't even nod or respond to him because my mind was still focused on what Amanda just spewed; swirls, blowjobs. That meant she had sucked him off. I knew I shouldn't be really mad since we were broken up, or at least I hoped we had been when the incident happened with Amanda. Still, I had to see her around. A lot.

Once inside the confines of our bedroom, Carter strolled towards the bay windows and looked out at the glittery lake As he spoke, "She gave me head, once. Well, I guess half a head since I didn't let her finish. It was that same night you went off on a date with Bass Cole, when I caught you guys at the apartment."

Shit cakes. Yeah, same night I begged for Bass to kiss me—the same night that I wanted Bass to touch me.

"Did you do anything else with her? Or with anyone else, for that matter?"

Carter shook his head. "No, I wanted to. I mean, I tried to, but I couldn't get you out of my head, Em."

I smiled. "Good to know."

I walked towards the bed and sat down. Carter came over and joined me, looking serious. "Did you have sex with Bass? Did you kiss him?"

_Did I have sex with Bass?_ Definitely not, although, I wanted to.

_Did I kiss those perfect lips of his?_ No, although, I wanted to, oh so badly.

"No, we didn't go that far. He kissed my neck though, if you must know."

Carter pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. "Are you telling me the truth? You really didn't have sex with him? 'Cause everyone was saying you did and that magazine insinuated you did."

_They did_ , didn't they? Well, they got my thoughts correct, but not what really happened.

"No, nothing happened. We just hung out and talked a lot. Bass is a great guy. He was respectful and treated me with the utmost care."

And boy did he. Bass. I was really going to miss him. My heart constricted at the thought of not being around him. I liked Bass _a lot_ , but there was always going to be a big BUT when it came to him.

"Good, because if he hadn't, I would have just loved to knock that arrogant son of a bitch out."

"Oh, shut up, Carter! You're not punching anyone."

"Don't you doubt it because I will hurt anyone that tries to hurt you, Emma."

I took a moment to think about what he said. When I looked up, I found his eyes on me. "There's only one thing I ask of you... don't hurt me, Carter."

He kissed my lips and smiled. "Not going to happen. Why don't we go downstairs and join the rest of our friends? We're leaving tomorrow after all."

I shook my head. I was emotionally drained and tired from all the alcohol I consumed. I also didn't want another encounter with Amanda. "You go right ahead. I want to shower and catch up on some reading." Reading the movie script; something that I wasn't ready to share with him. I would tell him eventually, but not tonight. I just didn't know how he'd react to it.

"You're sure? I can stay with you, if you want."

I pinched his cheek. "I am sure. Soccer just ended and you guys had a tremendous season. You need to party with your team."

Was I a jealous woman? Hell, yes, but I was a reasonable one, too. I knew what this weekend meant to him and his teammates and I wasn't going to come in between that. I just hoped that he would be just as noble when I told him about the movie I would be doing with Bass. Didn't they say in every relationship one should learn how to give and take? Well, here it was. This was me giving.

"You're the best, Em! I'll be back in a couple hours." He stood up and pulled my phone out of his pocket. "Here. I don't need to hold your phone hostage to get your attention. I love you." He then kissed me and headed towards the door.

I called out to him before he managed to grab the door handle, "You better be on your best behavior, Carter Mason, because the minute you touch another woman, you'll be dead to me."

"Never, my love." Carter blew me a kiss and swiftly closed the door behind him.

Sighing, I plopped down on the bed. My phone weighed heavily in my hand.

I glanced at it like I had never seen a cell phone in my life. Curious, I unlocked it. Sure enough, the battery was low. I had two missed calls from my mom and seven missed calls from Bass. When I opened my messages, Mom sent me one and Bass sent me five.

Mom: _Honey, we haven't heard from you in a while. I called because I wanted to tell you Aunt Gemma and little Joey are here and we'd love it if you could come by. Please call us. We miss you!_

Scrolling towards the first message Bass sent me, I quickly opened it. It was his reply to my last text message.

Bass Cole: _I know that my life is my own, but if you did ask it of me, then I would be more than happy. I'm leaving for Canada soon and I can't help thinking about you and what happens next. I know it's too early for you to even think about being in another relationship, but that's what I want with you... I just want you to know... need you to know that I'm serious about us. When you're ready, I want to be with you, Emma._

Oh, Lordy. Ugh! Now I was totally confused! That, of course, didn't stop me from reading the rest of his texts.

Bass Cole: _Was that too much at one time? I've waited for your response for over an hour now. Emma?_

I didn't have my phone, but even if I did, would I have replied to that heavy loaded text message? _Maybe..._

Bass Cole: _Sorry, Em. I guess that was the wrong thing for me to say. It was inconsiderate even. I merely wanted assurance that you somehow... somewhat... feel the same._

How spot on because I did feel a connection. I had never been in tune with any guy until Bass came along.

Bass Cole: _Emma? I suppose your silence is answer enough. That's all right. I'm not angry, so don't worry. I won't mention it again._

The message was sent this morning. Did I want to call him and apologize? Explain how Carter took my phone? If I did, was I ready to answer Bass's questions? Or better yet, was I ready to tell him about Carter?

Bass Cole: _Martin called your phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I'm just letting you know that he made a reservation for six-thirty Monday night at Melisse._

Business manner, cut straight to the point with no _hi_ or _hello_. What did I really expect after not replying to any of the text messages he sent?

Me: _Thank you. Tell Martin I will be there._

I stared at my phone for a good twenty minutes, waiting for his reply, but it didn't come.

Exhausted, emotionally and physically, I dragged my body towards the bathroom to shower. When I was done, I checked my phone again, but there was still no response.

I should have felt like I was floating on cloud nine because Carter and I were back together, but I wasn't. My heart weighed heavily in my chest.

Carter woke me up when he noisily came back to the room, drunk as hell. He stripped to his naked glory and slid into bed. Pulling me close to him, he whispered, half asleep, "I love you."

I blinked a few times, feeling a little guilty that my thoughts had been consumed by Bass the entire time he was downstairs.

Depleted, I willed myself to go back to sleep and tried to erase the image of Bass Cole's hypnotizing blue eyes from my mind. I tried, but didn't succeed. They were haunting me.

"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate."

_~David Pratt_

# Chapter One Hundred Ten

It was Monday afternoon and I was on my way to meet up with Trista and Lindsey at the café. When they learned I was back with Carter, they didn't look too happy. I guess it would take time for them to get over Bass Cole, too. They all adored him.

They were both already seated with their drinks when I finally walked in. I sat at the table and saw that they had already ordered my coffee. "You guys are the best!"

"We know!"

Sipping the still hot coffee, I savored the first taste of my caffeine fix for the day. I ran late to school again because Carter wouldn't let me out of the damn bed.

"Things are great between you and Carter?" Trista asked cautiously.

"Yeah, they are. Why?"

"Are you going to tell Bass?" Lindsey pressed on.

"Yes, I actually plan to... tonight." Trista and Lindsey both just sighed.

Okay... "What? Just spit it out."

Lindsey spoke first, "We get that you just got back with my brother, but are you sure you want to let go of Bass? I mean, Emma, _ding dong._ You like Bass! Why don't you sit tight for a second and really think it through before you give him the axe? Bass really likes you and, to be honest, I think he deserves you way more than my brother."

Ding dong? I had thought it through, _hadn't I?_

"Lindsey has a point, doll. I know my love life is hopeless at this point, but yours... you could still salvage it, you know?"

"I have thought it through, so please stop." _Lies._ The only thought that had been occupying my mind were those spellbinding azure eyes. I turned to Trista. "You're not going to keep this affair going, are you? Not only are you hurting yourself, but your cousin, too."

Trista instantly looked sad all of a sudden. "I know, but have you ever felt that strong pull towards someone without explanation? Like having them around makes you feel complete? I read about this twin souls crap online. They're soul mates, but so much more. When you meet your twin soul, you feel an intense love for them, but conclude that it's just lust. It said that you could try to move on, but it would be impossible. No matter how hard you try to fight your feelings, you would always be a part of them."

"That being said, I felt that intense, powerful love when I met Harry. I tried to forget about him and as soon as I thought I had, we would run into each other and all those intense feelings would come rushing back. For two years we fought this magnetic pull towards each other. It was difficult—it physically hurt to be apart from him. One night, when everyone decided to go to bed early during a family get together, it happened— _we happened_. Harry says he wants to leave my cousin, Becka, but I told him not to. I haven't thought that far ahead yet and I'm not too sure if I'm ready for my entire family to disown me."What. A. Conundrum.

I supposed no matter how much you twisted it around, someone was going to end up hurt. However, in this case, Trista was hurting her family. She was not just hurting a person, but she was hurting _people_ ; people that were dear to her. I felt sorry for her. I'd hate to be in her shoes.

"I hope Harry is worth it, Tris. I'll skin him alive if he's playing you for a fool," Lindsey finally spoke up.

"Make sure he's worth it because if he isn't, maybe it's time to move on," I added as I looked at her saddened face.

I turned to Lindsey. "How's Amber doing?"

After her hermit-like hiding in Lake Tahoe, I spoke to her briefly before we all rode back to school yesterday morning. She said she was tired and that she didn't feel like talking. I gave her a quick hug and let her be.

"She dropped out today and left for New York to be with her grandmother. She didn't even say goodbye in person. All I got was a freaking text message." Trista looked even more upset now. Lindsey and I confirmed that we got the same message.

"Will her grandmother help her?" Amber needed to heal and deal with her drug habit.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I really hope so because I don't know what I'd do if she overdoses. She's stubborn and doesn't like to be told what to do. It's hard to help someone when they don't want to help themselves."

I was going to ask Lindsey about the men in her life when I got interrupted.

"Here you are!" Carter surprised me as he gave me a big smacking kiss on the lips. "Hey, Tris and baby sis."

"Hey, yourself. What are you doing here? I thought you had class?" I asked as he sat on my retro chic armrest.

"I do and I'm about to head out soon. I just wanted to drop by and say hi. How about I take you ladies out tonight for dinner?"

All three of us exchanged glances. They knew I was going to see Bass tonight, so they remained mum.

"Baby, _about_ that... I'm actually going to go meet Bass tonight. This was planned a week ago." Sort of...

Carter immediately tensed. "Do you really need to go see him? I don't think it's necessary, Em. He can go fuck himself."

"Ugh, you're such a tool, Carter. You didn't like it when Emma was making your life a living hell, right? So back off! You just got her back; don't make her change her mind now." Catty, weren't we? Lindsey didn't want me back with Carter—that was obvious. I knew she loved him, but I wasn't sure why she didn't want us together.

"Just back-up a second there, Linds." Carter turned to me and spoke, "If this is what you need to do, then I trust you, okay? I have to run to class. I love you."

"I love you."

With a quick kiss, he darted off to his class.

"That was harsh, Lindsey!" Trista chided. Lindsey just shrugged and leaned back.

"I just don't know. I don't want him to hurt Emma again. Look, there's this guy who is super sex on legs that treats her so well and she's trading that to be with _Carter?_ I don't know. I just don't want you to have any regrets, Em. That's all."

"Lindsey has a point, Emma, but if Carter is the one that really makes you happy, then we will fully support you."

"Thank you."

The thought of seeing Bass again made my stomach churn. So much had happened since I last saw him five days ago. Tonight, I had to be brave when I faced him. I would have to keep myself composed, no matter how Bass treated me. I supposed I'd get to see how good of an actress I could be.

It was time to put my big girl panties on and act like one.

# ~E~

I dressed with the utmost consideration. I chose a silver and black sequined, silk tunic, loose dress that stopped at mid-thigh and had a low curved back. I left my hair loose and amped up my make-up. I went for the smoky eye look and accentuated the top part of my cheeks and the curve of my eyebrows with a slight white shimmer mousse cream. I applied my candy pink lipstick and finished it off with a swipe of tinted peach gloss and then blended them together.

It was already twenty to six and I would be extremely late if I didn't leave right away.

Frantic, I gathered my silver clutch as I slipped into my silver cut-out bootie shoes in haste. "I'm leaving!" I called out to Lindsey, splashing a spray of my perfume before dashing out the door. I slipped inside my G-Class white on black Mercedes and headed to the restaurant, getting a call from my mom as soon as I got on the road.

"Sweetie, how are you?" Mom's voice came through the car's speakers. I sighed once I saw the traffic jam that awaited me. Crapper.

"I'm well, Mom. I was hoping to speak to you guys tomorrow or the day after? It's about something important."

"That sounds serious. What is it about?" Mom sounded worried.

"It sorta is—well it's about my future... I think I've finally found my niche," I went on, giving her a clue.

"Hmm... why do I feel like this is going to give me a cardiac arrest?" Mom sounded suspicious. "Your dad and I are both off tomorrow since Aunt Gemma and baby Joey are visiting."

A car honked behind me and I rolled my eyes. _Geez, what's the hurry? Everyone is bumper to bumper. No one is going anywhere so there's no need for the damn honking!_ I fumed.

Cali drivers... they're fucking insane!

"You shouldn't be talking and driving at the same time, young lady!" My mother scolded me for the thousandth time.

"One word—Bluetooth."

"I'm getting off the phone now so you can focus. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you, kiddo."

"Love you, too, Mommy Dearest," I said as a joke.

Finally, at six-forty, I was outside of the French restaurant, Melisse, on Wilshire Boulevard. I was ten minutes late and I was so nervous I felt like I was about to piss my undies. I took three calming breaths before I got out of the car and handed my keys to the valet.

Once inside, I was greeted by a slim, pretty brunette. "Good evening, I'm Alyssa. Do you have a reservation?"

"I'm with the Lombardo party," I said and noticed how her eyes snapped open.

"With Bass Cole? He just got here." She started to become chatty as she eyed me with interest.

"Okay. Um, can you direct me to where the table is located?" I pointed towards the dining room.

She immediately stood ram-rod straight and stepped out to show me to my table. "Certainly, sorry. It's just that I am a huge fan of Bass. I heard he's going to make a risqué Lombardo film. Is that true? I can't wait to see him on the big screen. He oozes raw sexuality, don't you agree?" Alyssa smiled as she sashayed about.

"I suppose," I muttered. It wasn't that I didn't feel like talking, it was the fact that she was talking about Bass and I didn't want to talk about him.

Martin and Bass were already seated in a darkened corner, talking in hushed voices. Martin stood up as I neared the table and Bass... _well..._ he barely glanced my way.

"Here you are. Is everything to your liking, Mr. Lombardo?" Alyssa asked in a saccharine tone.

"Perfect, thank you." Martin dismissed her in a polished manner as he came over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and pulled out my chair.

"Good evening, Martin, Bass."

"Emma," Bass greeted me through gritted teeth. I hated that he was treating me with cold indifference. It made me feel like shit.

Sensing the tension, Martin stepped in. "Still looking beautiful as ever, Emma, how are you? How was Tahoe?" Martin inquired as he poured me a glass of Shiraz.

"I had a great time. I'm glad to be home though."

I looked at Bass, but he was busy on his phone, completely ignoring me as he sipped on his wine.

The waiter came and took our orders and Martin waited a minute or two before speaking again. "Thanks for taking on the role as Angela on such short notice, Emma. I must say that I am quite anxious to start filming this movie. The studio had a lot of reservations about it in the beginning once the script was done, but that didn't deter me. You and Bass will make it happen for me. I can't wait to see it on the big screen."

Wow, pressure much? "Thank you. It's not like I could decline it. It's a great opportunity for me and thank you for offering it. You don't know how awesome this is." I cleared my throat before I continued, "You know, just in case I totally suck, you can take the money back. I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this because I really love to act and I want to see if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life."

That caught Bass's attention. He and Martin roared with laughter.

"Oh, Emma Anderson, you are a gem. Where have you been hiding all this time? I like your personality. You're going to be great, so your money back guarantee assurance is of no need, my dear." Martin shook his head in wonderment.

Yes, the money was great. Come on, it was one million dollars, but in all honesty, I was really doing this for myself. There was no other reason behind it.

"So what were you up to this weekend, Emma?" Bass finally diverted his attention to me as he slipped his phone inside his pocket. His azure eyes were drawing me in, looking very decadent and sinful.

I licked my lips. "I... uh, partied and spent a lot of time catching up with my friends."

Martin excused himself to take a phone call. Bass waited until Martin was out of earshot before he spoke again. "And Carter? You're back with him, aren't you?"

Shit. How does he do that? He seemed to just know.

"Yes, we did get back together." I braved it out and took a quick glance at him. Sigh, why did he have to be so... _everything?_

Bass was playing with his fork, making circles with it as he stared at it. "It was going to happen eventually. It was a given when you decided to join them. A part of me hoped you didn't though." Bass lifted his eyes. They burned holes in me. Ah, fuck.

We stared at each other and I took in his face. How did he get such perfect skin? Was he a fan of facials? Fuck, and those lips... I dreamt of those lips. Why was he so stingy with his kisses? I still didn't get it. It was like the more he hesitated, the more I craved them. But it was just as well; I was with Carter now.

"Bass, are you angry with me?" He gave me a sad smile before he shook his handsome head. His dirty blond hair stuck out in all sorts of directions—bed head—but he sported it perfectly. In fact, it made him look sexier.

"What should I be angry about, Em? That you're in love with Carter? No, I am not angry. I'm not an idiot." Bass huffed out a sigh. "As long as you're happy, nothing else matters."

"Bass! Fancy seeing you here! I've missed you. Do you want to come over again tonight? I'm free and available for you," A stunning woman interrupted us and gave Bass a long lingering kiss on the lips.

No. Shit. _This woman had the privilege to kiss him?_ I eyed her with a covetous stare.

When the blonde woman came up for air, Bass spoke, "Lydia, this is Emma Anderson. She and I will be co-starring in _Blasphemous_."

When Lydia finally turned to me, I was rendered speechless. Hell, she looked like a pretty angel. She was tall and lithe with clear blue eyes. Wait—Lydia? As in _Lydia Cornwell?_ Ha! She really was an angel... a Victoria's Secret angel.

"Hello, Lydia. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same to you, Emma." She gave me a beautiful smile before looking back at Bass. "Call me tonight? I've got to go. My agent is here with me. I will see you tomorrow. I can't wait for Canada!"

Lydia said her goodbyes, giving Bass another kiss before she turned to me and gave me another fucking smile. Her smile, it was genuine, not one of the fake ones. I simmered even more.

"She's an actress, too?" I didn't know that.

"No, I invited her along to join me. I didn't want to get bored in Canada."

_Right..._ because a pretty angel would be making all your wishes come true.

"Well, good for you. I guess now we're both happy. How quaint," I said sourly.

"Sorry the call took a while." Martin slid back in to his seat.

I was rather grateful that Martin chose that moment to come back. I couldn't look at Bass. My stomach was churning and my mind was working overtime. Ding dong, what do you call that? _Oh yeah_ , jealousy. It was twisting me up like a damn pretzel.

Once the food arrived, the conversation stuck to the movie we were about to film. The food was excellent. It was fine French cuisine with a twist of fusion. After the two hour, four-course meal, we were ready to head out.

After Martin signed the bill, he spoke, "I will keep in touch, Emma. My assistant, Jack, will contact your agent directly if there are any requirements that are altered or added. If you have any questions, you can call me directly.

"Bass, have a safe flight. I will speak to you soon, son. I have to go to a film screening at Scorsese's house. Drive carefully, you two." We all stood up to leave and with a quick hug, he abruptly left us alone.

"Have a great evening, Mr. Cole. Come and dine with us again, sometime soon," Alyssa called out.

"I will. The food was excellent as always. Thank you," Bass spoke with sincerity and graced Alyssa with his signature smile. I think Alyssa almost died. The love-sick puppy blushed and almost freaked out. Sigh.

Outside, we both handed our tickets to the valet attendant. We waited side-by-side for our cars. _I suppose this is it then._ I thought sickly.

"Will you stay the night with me, Em?" I tensed.

Crap. "Bass, I don't think that would be good for either of us."

He exhaled and looked at the passing traffic. "I know it isn't, but I'm asking anyway. I won't be seeing you until Greece. That's months from now. I just want to spend time with you."

"But Greece is _months_ from now. I thought we'd stay friends?" Was he planning to just drop and un-friend me?

"I know and we will." Bass's azure gaze captured my eyes. It was hard to tear them away from the beautiful depths of his. "I choose not to see you until Greece because it will take a long time for me to get over you and the fact that I've been rejected for the very first time. What's bruised my psyche is that _you_ were the first woman I wanted to have a real relationship with. I just want this night with you, Em. That's all I ask. If it's too much, I'll understand."

I stared at him with my arms folded, my lips pressed together and my foot was tapping. I was in deep shit. I didn't know how I could do that without hurting anyone. Carter would go apeshit if he learned that I had decided to stay the night with Bass. Did I want to spend time with Bass? _Yes_ , very much so. I was going to miss him when he left.

"Give me just a second. I need to make a quick call." With my phone in hand, I stepped a few yards away from him. Lindsey picked up on the first ring. Thank God! "I have a mammoth-sized problem."

"Spill."

I groaned before I spoke. I hated to be in that position. I wanted to kick something and hyperventilate at the same time. "Bass wants to spend time with me tonight. _Do you think I should?_ Carter will lose his shit if he ever found out!"

"Well, are you planning on screwing each other tonight?"

"No, Lindsey. Bass hasn't even managed to kiss me. He just wants to hang out and do the usual stuff we do, I suppose."

"Good, because if that was the case, I don't want any part of it. I might not like my brother for you, but he _is_ my brother and I don't want him hurt. Now that we've cleared that up, why don't you tell Carter that you're visiting your parents and you're staying the night with them? It's the best excuse."

It was a perfect excuse. "You're the best, Lindsey. I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Please do and please, please don't do anything that isn't PG-13, got it? Now, go be a good girl."

"Will do. Bye, doll."

Next call, Carter. I wasn't really a big fan of lying, _really_ I wasn't, but this was a special circumstance—selfish as it was. I didn't know why I had the need to spend the night with Bass, but I felt like we owed it to each other. Sort of like an ending to the little 'something' we had. Only it wasn't a _little_ something. It was much more than that, but I wasn't ready to look beyond the surface and dig deeper. Chicken? Just a tad. I feared what I would find if I _did_.

"Carter, hey," I greeted him as he came on the other line.

"Are you on your way home, babe? Is it going to be my place or yours tonight?" Carter happily asked.

Yeah, about that...

"I'm driving to see my parents tonight. My aunt is in town and I want to visit with her and my baby cousin." I _was_ going to my parents' house, I tried to rationalize.

"Oh. Sure, no prob. I want to take you out to dinner."

"Yeah, that would be nice. I'll see you tomorrow, Carter."

"Love you, Emma."

"Yeah, me, too."

I cut off the call before he had the chance to question me. I didn't know what was going on either. I did love Carter, didn't I? I just couldn't bring myself to say I loved him when Bass was so close to me.

Turning around, I walked towards Bass who was leaning against my car, waiting and watching every move I made. The valet attendant waited for me to finish my call before he handed me my keys. I graciously thanked him as I gave him a tip.

"I'm all set. I'll follow you to your house."

He shook his head. "That won't do. You have to ride with me. I'm not letting you out of my sight. I will have someone pick your car up and drive it back to my place." Bass held out his hand. "Your keys?" Okay, that was workable and made total sense.

I handed him my car keys as he guided me towards his car. Bass called Lou, his driver, to pick up my car, giving him the location of the restaurant and instructing him to drive it back to his house and leave the keys on the table in his entry hall.

The ride back to his house was silent. Bass's usual happy demeanor, that I was so accustomed to, didn't surface. He was rather quiet and serious and didn't bother with small talk. I supposed we were so engrossed in our own conflicted thoughts.

Once we got to Hollywood Hills, I started to fidget. What the hell was I doing? Carter would kill me. At the same time, though, I felt like Bass and I had unfinished business... but to what extent? That was the million dollar question I had yet to find an answer to.

"A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately another comes. In the interval which separates two desires a perfect calm reigns in the mind. It is at this moment freed from all thought, love or hate. Complete peace equally reigns between two mental waves."

_~Swami Sivananda_

# Chapter One Hundred Eleven

"Do you want anything to drink?" Bass asked as he strolled towards the kitchen.

My feet shifted as I held my clutch in both hands. "Water would be great, thank you."

Bass cocked his head towards me. "Do you want wine as well?"

_Shit_. _Did I really need alcohol right now?_ _In a sense_ , yes. I was nervous and I didn't know why. I had been to his house before and both times, nothing crazy really happened. I guess the only thing that I should have been worried about was _me_ because Bass was making me think of things that I shouldn't have been thinking about.

"Um, sure that would be lovely."

Bass gave me a dimpled, lazy smile. "Right away."

Oh, geez. That smile of his...

The silence was short lived because Bass's cell phone started ringing. "Yep?" he answered as he pulled a bottle opener from a drawer and slid it closed. His teeth bit his bottom lip as he concentrated on opening the wine bottle while he was listening to the person yapping in his ear. "I might check it out. Yes, _might_. Gotcha. Bye."

I moved towards the marbled counter and sat across from him. He was still biting his bottom lip when he looked at me. _Smolder overdose anyone?_

"There's a promotional bash at a club tonight. Do you want to come and party for a little bit with some of my friends?"

_Should I?_ "Will there be paparazzi lurking around?" Yeah, I had to ask. I would be put through the meat grinder tomorrow if Carter found out or _anyone_ from school, for that matter.

"Yes, they are always around, especially at hot spots, but we can go through the back door and no one will know that you've been partying with me."

"It's nothing personal, Bass. _I just..._ " Don't want Carter to know... _for now_. Carter didn't even know about the movie yet. I'd tell him after I told my parents tomorrow, most definitely.

Bass poured us a glass of wine and slid mine carefully towards me. "Carter; got it."

I opened my mouth to deny it, but ended up shutting it and instead, decided to swirl my wine glass before I took a small sip.

"What's the verdict?" he asked, raking a hand through his dark blond hair, making it look all hot and sexy.

"Yeah, I could do with some dancing."

"Awesome! Let me just get a quick shower then we'll head out, is that cool?" Bass asked and drained his entire glass, looking sexy as sin.

I licked my lips and blushed. Without looking him in the eye, I responded, "Yes, sounds great." Why, oh why, does Bass fucking Cole make me think of sex when he's drinking wine? It was disturbing.

Bass was off to shower and I was left alone with my thoughts... and they were full of IF's. Ugh!

Taking my wine with me, I strolled towards the patio and stared at the bright lights of the City of Angels. Tonight... tonight felt different with Bass. I supposed it was because I was with Carter now and it made things feel even more... not weird... _constricted_ , perhaps, leaning __ towards restricted. I think it was because during the short time with Bass, he infiltrated my inner being. Bass had made his mark; he had marked me without me even noticing it. He was rooted somewhere deep inside and I didn't know if I could erase the stamp he had made.

I felt wretched and cut open. I mean, here I was, restarting my relationship with Carter and yet Bass was hounding my thoughts. I didn't know if I was so blinded with the realization that I fell in love with Carter that I didn't really see _or_ realize what was really going on before me with Bass.

After ten minutes, I heard him say, "Ready?"

I turned around and found Bass standing next to the sliding patio glass door. His hair was still wet, but what really caught me was how the plain white shirt and washed out jeans made him look like a hot, smoking, rock god. I felt my nipples tighten at the very sight of him. I was in so much trouble!

"I know, I look too plain for a club, but I really don't feel like dressing up and all that."

Uh, the prepped up Bass looked sexy, but the laid back all-American look was just downright yummy! _I'll take both please!_

I was bothered that my thoughts were bordering on cheating. Was it _really_ cheating fantasizing about Bass instead of Carter? A little, perhaps?

"Let me just grab my clutch then I'm all set to go," I muttered.

As I walked past him, my senses went into hysterics as I got a whiff of that shower gel he used. I almost stopped, _almost_. I just wanted to drown in that sexy fucking smell. I was such a basket case. How the hell was I going to get through the rest of the night if I all I could think about was Bass fucking Cole?

Once I got to the barstool where my clutch sat, I stared at it while my thoughts rampaged on. I was seriously losing it...

I almost moaned when Bass touched the side of my hip and asked, "Everything okay, Em?"

_NO! It's not okay. My body seems to be wired with a crazy amount of sexual energy and all I can think about is fucking you until I can't take it anymore! No, nothing is okay._

"Yes, let's go."

# ~E~

"Emma, how is Bass in the sack?" the hot brunette asked me, giggling.

I thought she was dating Bass's friend, Stan... Stud... _Stew?_ Meh, I didn't remember. Bass had introduced me to a lot of people at the club and I hadn't managed to remember any of their names.

"I heard he's a beast! I heard Sheila's friend, Masie, actually spent a night with him at some hotel. She said Bass fucked Masie four times in one night. I'm so jealous of you, Emma," the blonde, honey-eyed chick said.

"Yeah, he surely is a beast," I giggled back. _Here I go, lying again._ I found that there was no point in trying to rationalize with these women when I arrived with Bass earlier. It seemed that in Hollywood, once a woman arrives—or is seen—with a famous actor anywhere, it's a given that they're sexing it up.

So, in my champagne/tequila/vodka muddled head, I was _owning_ Bass.

These girls that were introduced to me by Bass were fun—a dum-dum kind of fun. All they talked about was Hollywood, plastic surgery, gossip and hot men. In my semi-coherent state, I didn't remember their names and yet, I had been hanging out with them for two hours or so. I just called them—in my head—the pretty blonde, hot brunette, so-so redhead and goldilocks.

My gurgling laughter died when my eyes darted across the club and saw a girl trying to get Bass's attention. I didn't think twice before I got up. I excused myself and marched over to them. The woman looked like some hot vamped up Latina. She was drop dead gorgeous. I fumed and stepped right in between them.

"Emma," Bass uttered, a little surprised that I was being bold towards him.

"Dance with me, Bass," I ordered and grabbed his hand.

The vamped up woman pulled my hand away from holding Bass's.

Nah, uh. She. Did. Not. Just. Do. That! "Bitch! Back the fuck off! He's mine!"

The stupid bitch smiled. "No, he's not. He's single. I know this because we hooked up last night."The stupid bitch looked smug as hell when she saw how her words affected me.

Stupid bitch can go fuck herself! "Choose, Bass. It's her _or_ me." I started tapping my foot as I simmered some more. _What if Bass chooses her?_ Ah, fuck. I didn't think that far ahead!

Before Bass could answer, the stupid bitch spoke, "Who the hell are you? Are you like some random psycho who wants to get it on with an actor? I think you should start with the Z-list ones and not head straight, like a piranha, to the A-listers."

I was about to retaliate when Bass pulled me towards the dance floor, but before he did, he managed to holler at the stupid bitch, "Don't ever talk to me again, Cassandra. Emma is _not_ on any alphabetical list. She is on _The_ _List_."

Bass took me to the other side of the dance floor and shoved me up against the wall. I knew the music was thumping, but I had no clue what song was on and I was oblivious of the people around us. The dance floor was packed, but all I noticed was Bass's searing, blistering gaze.

"I think you should stop with the Mojitos, Emma. You're clearly wasted already."

I sneered. Yes, I certainly was. "Well, if you weren't busy flirting with all the women here, I wouldn't have made a scene."

He leaned closer, both hands on the sides of my head, as he whispered in my ear, "You're off limits, Emma. You made it that way." His hot breath made me shiver. I closed my eyes and devoured his scrumptious aroma.

God, help me. I didn't know anymore.

Bass pressed his hot body against mine, his heart beating erratically. I moved closer and nestled my nose on his neck. My nose slid up and down and I felt him shiver. Since I was going crazy, I went even further. I stuck out the tip of my tongue and licked the base of his neck, stopping in the middle and biting into it while my hand went inside his shirt and clawed his back, wanting him closer.

"Emma... you're killing me here," Bass spoke in between hissing and moaning.

"How do you like it, Bass? Hard and rough? Nice and slow? Or fast and delirious?" I whispered against his ear.

Yep! I was way past drunk. I was ludicrous.

Bass groaned as he pushed his hardened state between my hips. "I want you... I want all of you. I want your hot body on my bed, wide open and ready. Your cunt will be annihilated. Your sweet, little pussy will be destroyed and I will not stop until it is ravaged and weeping with wetness... and you screaming for me to stop because you can't take anymore."

Need I say that my silk thong was soaked? Need I say that I was going bat-shit crazy with horniness?

"Bass, I want you."

Bass pulled a bit away from me, our bodies still connected, while his eyes pierced mine. His magnetic eyes darkened as he saw my overtly wanton face. "Be with me, Emma. Just say the word and I'm yours."

"I don't know if I can." I loved Carter, but with Bass, __ it was complex and enthralling. It frightened me. I didn't know if I would ever be ready for that kind of terrifying possession.

He bit his bottom lip then looked to his right as he processed what I said. Bass huffed out a deep breath. Composing himself, he gave me a bright smile. "I just had to try one more time, I guess." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and grabbed my hand. "Come on! Let's go and join our party."

And so we did. The entire time, Bass avoided touching me. When other random girls came up to get a picture with him, he obliged them. When they wanted to dance with him, he gladly went. When they flirted and touched him, he didn't stop them. And so, the jealous bitch that I was—but had no fucking right to be—drank some more delicious Mojitos. I wanted to get drunk and just pass the fuck out. I didn't want to think about Bass anymore. Of course, it was short-lived, but it was worth it.

# ~E~

"Can you manage to get out of the car?" Bass asked me before opening his door. We were back at his house and parked right outside his four-car garage.

I just groaned. "Sure," I slurred. "I'm a pro. Just you watch." _Well, I haven't been this drunk ever in my life, but sure? Why the hell not? It's only walking, right?_

I opened the door and stepped out and then my head started to spin. _Whoops!_ I leaned over the hood of his sports car and took off my shoes. The engine was hot on my butt and I just wanted to stay there awhile. I laid my body back on top of the hot-hood. _It felt good_ , I sighed satisfyingly. I was drunk, tired, confused and so messed up. I smiled as I closed my eyes. _Yes_ , this definitely felt better.

I heard Bass's footsteps as he stopped before me, somewhere close. He cleared his throat, "Em, you can't sleep there. That's not a bed." Bass was clearly amused.

_Whatever, go away!_ "I don't like you right now, _Bass_ -boy, _Bass_ -kill, _Bass_ -hole, _Bass_ -tard!" I mumbled, but cracked a small smile.

Since my legs were slightly parted, Bass swiftly planted himself in between them while both of his hands caressed my legs. Ah, dammit! "I love this drunk you. It's very entertaining."

_Blah, whatever. Just stop touching my legs will you... not?_

I bucked when his hands went higher and his thumbs caressed the inner lining of my thong. Sweet... sweet mother of mercy...

"Can I kiss you?" Bass whispered to me. That certainly made my eyes snap open.

Oh. Hell. No.

...Yes?

Since I didn't have the guts to look at him, I stared at the twinkling stars above me. Possibly asking for my mind back... or forgiveness? I wasn't too sure. "Um, I thought you didn't want to kiss me?"

"Not those lips, Emma."

I lost my ability to breathe.

Did he just ask me... if... _he could go down on me?_

His thumb was now slowly lifting the side bands of my underwear. "Emma..." Hearing my name uttered from Bass's lips with such raw intensity became my undoing. I let out a loud moan when both of his thumbs caressed my soaked mound.

"God, your cunt is drowned in your hot juices," Bass hissed as his thumb slid up and down my folds while the other thumb rubbed my nub.

I bit my lip and whimpered. Imagine my shock when he completely took those sinful thumbs away. I sat up, dazed and confused. My world stopped spinning when I found his eyes. Bass gave me a devilish smile while he traced his thumb on his lips and licked it. I swallowed. _Hell,_ could he be any sexier?

"I want more of those succulent juices, Emma."

Speechless, I stared agog. I stuck out my tongue and licked my suddenly dry lips. I wanted to... God, I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't. Carter.

"You know I can't, Bass."

He grazed his thumb on the tip of my bottom lip. "You're such a sweet temptation. You have just enough mixture of sweetness and feistiness. I can't help wanting you."

"I like you too much, Bass. I feel what you feel, but in a twisted way, my heart is with Carter."

"If Carter is the one that makes you happy, then I wish you all the luck, Emma."

Why did I have the urge to cry? It felt like someone was pressing down on my chest and I was having a hard time breathing.

Out of the blue, Bass plucked me off the hood and carried me towards the house. I was grateful that he did because I didn't have the energy to climb the stairs.

Once we got to his bedroom, he slowly undressed me. "Bass, I don't know about this."

"I won't cop a feel, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable. Is that agreeable to you?" His eyes searched mine and I fought back the urge to capture his lips.

When my dress was finally off me, I forgot to warn him that I didn't have a bra on. The dress didn't need me to wear one since it already had built-in support.

Bass's eyes became dilated and my nipples tightened at his scrutiny. "Bass? Can you hand me a shirt?"

He snapped out of his funk and cleared his throat, mumbling an apology.

Once I was safe in the confines of the large cotton shirt, I slid inside his bed. I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. After five minutes of not hearing any commotion, I sat up and found Bass sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Baffled, I got off the bed and moved towards him. "Hey, what's upsetting you?"

Bass shook his head. "I don't think it's wise to sleep next to you. I don't trust myself not to touch you with what little you have on." Well, I knew he wouldn't have sex with me unless I chose him—and only him—so it was irrelevant if he slept in the same bed with me or not.

I tried to pull him up, but didn't succeed. He stood up, held me and we fell on the bed together. He immediately nuzzled my neck in a ticklish way and I started laughing like a little kid. That was all well and good, until his hand skimmed downwards, cupped my ass and squeezed it. I moaned when he softly bit my earlobe. HELL.

"Bass... no..." His hands were drawing close inside my thighs. I wanted him to touch me so bad I felt like I was dying, but I knew it couldn't happen. Not like that. So, I took charge and rolled on top of him. "Let's go to sleep. Playtime's over."

"The best and strongest attraction is unspoken...it's that crazy chemistry where you don't have to say a word."

_~Author Unknown_

# Chapter One Hundred Twelve

Bass nodded and got off the bed. He shifted his pants and from what I could see, he was hard. "I'm going to get us some water. I'll be back."

I sighed dramatically and fell back on the bed. If I thought my life was complicated before, then I had been mistaken. I looked over on the side table to check what time it was—four forty-five. I had to go see my parents before I went back to school.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bass strolled in with a glass of ice water and handed it to me. He looked mighty serious. I bet he was thinking that I was a major tease, or something along those lines. Or maybe he was thinking... nothing.

"Thanks." I downed half the glass before Bass took it and placed it on his bedside table. Without taking off his clothes, he laid next to me, pulling me to his chest. I heard him huff out a long sigh as he started to stroke my hair. Since I didn't know what to say, I kept my mouth shut... as did he.

After ten minutes or so, he shifted to lay on his side, facing my body. He gathered me in his arms and pulled me close to him again. I could feel his heartbeat vibrating against my chest. I kissed his neck and left my lips and nose there, nicely tucked.

No words were spoken, but we knew what was going on. It was goodbye.

We fell asleep like that, holding each other.

No words were needed.

# ~E~

I woke up an hour later from the uncomfortable position that I was in. When I tried to move away, Bass's arms immediately released me. He was clearly in a deep coma-like rest. After the kind of night we had, I wasn't surprised.

I stared at his sleeping face and felt my heart lurch and constrict. I was one confused woman; loving one man and lusting and caring for another. I wanted to touch his face and caress it, I wanted to kiss those full lips of his and feel their soft warmth, but I didn't. I didn't need another reason to muddy my mind up more.

Sliding off the mattress, I walked towards the foot of the bed where my thong and dress had been abandoned. The once soaked thong was now dry and I was thankful because it would've been uncomfortable to wear and I clearly didn't need another reminder of what I'd been up to all night.

With another lingering glance at Bass, I left his room. Sure enough, my keys were on the foyer table. I was surprised to see my clutch and shoes there, too. Hadn't I left my purse and shoes outside, next to Bass's car last night? He probably went to get them before he came back upstairs.

Putting my shoes on, I silently left his house. I strode towards my waiting car and slid inside. I thanked my lucky stars that Bass had one of those automatic gates that had sensors which only opened for outgoing cars and joined the traffic on 101 Freeway. My thoughts were troubled. I had a long drive to my parents' house and used that time to try and sort out my feelings.

Two hours later, I arrived at my mom and dad's house, sighing with relief when I turned on to my parent's lemon tree-lined, winding driveway. I parked on the opposite side of the house because I didn't plan to stay long. With my keys in hand, I strolled towards the Spanish-styled home. It was ten-thirtyish; my parents would be up and about already.

I was greeted by the smell of pancakes and I followed the odor like a hypnotized person. My stomach growled, loudly.

"Hi, Mom, Dad and Aunt Gem," I greeted the trio who were about to eat by the looks of it.

My parents looked at me oddly. _What?_

"Where did you come from? Why are you all dolled up?" my mom asked with a worried expression on her face.

_Oh, that!_ I forgot I was dressed in my clothes from last night. "Yeah, about that, that's what I came here to talk about." I did wear this get-up to meet with Martin last night, so it was kind of connected.

"You look stunning, darling." Aunt Gemma came over and gave me a quick hug and then pulled me towards the table and made me sit.

"Where's baby Joey?" I asked as my parents joined Aunt Gemma and me at the table.

"He's in school, dear," Aunt Gem responded before she took a bite of her pancakes.

"Spill it now, Em. The suspense is killing us." Mom pressed her lips together as she stared at me, waiting.

"I got offered to star in a movie by Martin Lombardo."

"You're going to be an actress, Emma?" Aunt Gemma asked with a big smile.

After a few silent moments, both Mom and Dad cackled like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I looked at both of them, baffled. Okay... were they laughing at me? Did they think I was joking?

When they both finished, Mom and Dad wiped their eyes. Laughing tears, great.

Dad spoke first, "And here we were thinking you were going to tell us you were pregnant or something." My dad pulled me close and kissed my head. "You're going to do great, kiddo. How did you manage to nab this role? You didn't mention you were planning to be an actress."

"Well, I wasn't. The role was handed to me on a silver platter and I couldn't pass it up. I really do think this is it for me. To be an actress, I mean."

Mom squeezed me tight. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo. Now, what's the storyline about? A Lombardo film you said? I bet it will easily get an Oscar, don't you think so, honey?" She looked towards my father and he gave her a great, big smile. It was clear that they were still in love.

"It's about a married woman who cheats on her husband. When the husband finds out, he beats his wife up. When her lover sees her bruised, cut-up body, he kills the husband. The lover straps the dead body on the hook of a speed boat and dumps him in the Atlantic Ocean where he's fed to the sharks.

It was much more than that, but I gave them a quick summary. "Wow, that's a pretty gritty storyline," Mom said as she took a quick sip of her coffee.

"Yes, it is, but a bit on the erotic side, too." That got their attention.

"What's your role?" Dad inquired with a frown. I felt sorry for him before I blurted out my answer.

"I'm going to be Angela, the wife."

My dad got up and started to pace. "You mean, you'll be naked? In a movie, where all of our friends and family can see you? _The rest of the world will see my baby naked?_ "

My dad was starting to turn red. Thank God my mom stepped in. "Sit your ass down, Seth. We have to discuss this as a family." Mom composed herself and Dad went back to his seat and simmered like a little kid. "Emma, we understand that you want to become an actress. Ever since you were little, you always loved to act and would put on little plays for us with your Barbies. Don't get me wrong, I think this is a great opportunity for you, but at the same time, do you want to risk your self-preservation and morality for a film that will possibly pay you a hundred grand or so? Think long and hard about this, once this is filmed, it will be out there forever. Your kids will see it. Your children's children will see it. Do you want to be haunted by that?"

"I do get your point, Mom. Trust me, I do, but this is what I want. For the past couple of years, I have been drifting along, not knowing what I wanted to do in life. I didn't think acting was possible for me. I hadn't even thought about it since I graduated high school, but now, since this has practically landed in my lap, I will not be discouraged from doing it. I want to do it. I already signed the contract last week and they're not paying me a hundred grand, Mom. They're paying me one million dollars."

"God, help me! My daughter becomes a movie star and I can't even brag about it to my friends, let alone watch it," my dad muttered under his breath. I really felt bad for my dad.

I got up and hugged him from behind the chair. "I'm sorry, Dad, but you have to understand. I want this. I'm a big girl; I can handle it."

My mom leaned back and slightly shook her head like she was trying to digest everything I just spouted out at them. "Well, as much as we don't want you to do this film, we'll support you in any way we can. Wow! Our daughter's a millionaire and she's not even twenty-one."

My Aunt Gem got up and congratulated me, "You're going to be a beautiful actress, Emma. You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful face. The world is going to love you! I just know it."

Although I doubted that the _whole_ world would like my acting or that they would all love me, I thanked her all the same. What mattered was that she meant it.

"When do you start filming?" Dad inquired as he started to eat.

"May; and it's going to be filmed in Greece."

"Good, then you still have time to prepare," Mom murmured.

"Yeah, enough time for my kiddo to think it through and back out of the movie," my father added and he meant it, too. Not happening, Dad.

Aunt Gem stepped in, "Oh, stop it. This is a great thing for our little, Emma. Stop ruining her mood."

When I glanced at the time and saw that it was about to hit noon, I decided to get moving.

"I have to go. I have class later this afternoon. I'll call you guys soon, okay? I want to see little Joey." I grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp.

Mom and Dad stood up and hugged me. "We'll see you soon. Congratulations, baby!" Mom kissed me on the cheek while Dad kissed my forehead.

"Drive carefully, will you? I think I've had enough shock to last me a lifetime," Dad mumbled.

"Always, Dad." I gave a quick goodbye to my aunt and waved at them. "Love you lots," I yelled before leaving the kitchen and going out the front door.

Turning on the engine, my mood started to sink at the thought of seeing Carter. _One down, one to go._

* * *

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."

_~H.G. Wells_

# Chapter One Hundred Thirteen

The moment I parked my car, I fished out my phone and texted Carter.

Me: _Hey. I just got back in town. Can you come over?_

It beeped after a minute.

Carter: _Be there soon, babe._

Fuck! I didn't even know how to break it to him. We just got back together.

I cared for Bass and the thought of the intimate moments that I shared with him, saddened me because I would never have those moments with him again. I supposed we really needed last night to get closure.

Since Carter would be here any second, I got out of my car and went inside the dorm. Lindsey wasn't home and I was relieved. I didn't need a witness when Carter had a meltdown and lost his shit.

In my room, I fought the urge to shower and instead, changed into my jean short-shorts and a loose, baby blue cotton shirt. I didn't want to prolong any of this and have Carter waiting on me. This confrontation needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. I couldn't tiptoe around the subject. I made a choice and I had to stand by it.

I looked up when I heard the door unlock.

"Em?"

"I'm in here," I called out. I was on edge and a little jittery to boot.

_Here we go..._

Carter came through the door and immediately gave me a huge smile when he saw me. "I missed you!"

"I need to tell you something important," I started as I eyed him. Carter instantly tensed and his handsome face contorted.

"What's it about?" Carter whispered as he stared back at me, apprehensive.

Shit. "Something happened with Bass last night..." I didn't even get the chance to finish before Carter started pacing.

"Define 'happened' Emma? You had sex with him, is that it?"

"No. I stayed with him last night, nothing really happened except his hand lingering a bit longer on certain areas." And how I really wanted to succumb to him and try to get him out of my system I thought to myself.

Carter stopped pacing and sat back down again. His hurt face tugged at something inside me. "Bass didn't fuck you?"

_Isn't that what I just said?_ That's what I got for being whorebag- _ish_. Nope, Bass and I didn't have sex, but I was tempted. "No, it wasn't like that," I murmured, not meeting his eye.

Carter ran both of his hands through his hair. "I'm hurt that you lied about going to sleep at your parents' house, Em. _How could you do this?_ We just barely got back together."

I didn't know. I honestly didn't know why I did the things I did with Bass. Another Emma emerged—frivolous, spontaneous, alive and uninhibited. With all my heart, I wanted so badly to say that I was sorry for doing it, but I would be lying to Carter if I apologized for something I didn't regret doing. "Maybe it's because we got back together too quickly? Maybe I didn't see it coming and I'm still trying to place my feelings in order? I met Bass right after you. I got to spend time with him, Carter. Somehow, someway, he got through to me."

Carter groaned. "So, you're back with him? You wanted me to drop by today because you're breaking it off? I can't believe this!"

"I'm not with Bass. Last night was a one-time thing. I don't think I will be hearing from him again." _Not for a while_ , I think. He'll be too busy filming a movie during the day and having a beautiful stunning angel in his arms at night.

Carter lied across my bed, both hands on his face. "Carter, I didn't mean to lead you on or anything. I meant it when I said I loved you. It's just that, I'm as confused as ever. I didn't mean for us to end this way. I honestly didn't." I did love Carter, I _still_ did, _but was it as consuming as before?_ No, Bass chipped a bit of that off.

Carter huffed out a lungful of air and sat up, looking me directly in the eye. "I don't want to break up with you, Em. I hate what you did, but I don't think I can survive without you again. I had a taste of that and I sure as hell don't want you to go back to that man. Take as much time as you need to figure things out in your head, I'll still want to be with you. I love you and as badly as I want to think that you're perfect, you're human and, by nature, you're going to make mistakes."

What? "You _still_ want me after what I did?" I stared at him flabbergasted. Who the hell was this man? The old Carter would have stomped around and thrown a massive tantrum the entire campus would have witnessed. The Carter before me was someone I had yet to get to know.

"I love you, Em," he croaked as he softly touched the side of my face. "We'll be okay. We're just hitting some rough patches because I totally messed up before by not taking my time with you, but now that we've cleared that up, we can start anew."

Could we? Could Carter and I move past this hurdle? I supposed I wouldn't know if I didn't give it a try.

"Maybe you're right. We can start fresh from here on," I agreed.

# ~E~

### A few weeks later...

Carter was throwing a Halloween party tonight at his house. We ended up being Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

We smiled like idiots when we checked each other out. My costume was on the sexy side, showing my belly button. Carter even had the whole dark eye-liner thing going. He took being Jack Sparrow quite seriously.

"My, can I be your captive, Captain Jack?"

Carter, I mean, Jack Sparrow gave me a chaste kiss and smiled, showing his toothy pirate smile. "Anything for my Miss Swan."

The party was wild and crazy–nothing unusual about a Carter Mason party and Carter and I were stuck like glue the whole time. We danced, we laughed and we made out like no one's business. It didn't take long for me to get sucked back into Carter's world. Every time my thoughts drifted back to Bass, I immediately shut them down and shoved them somewhere in the back of my mind. I didn't want to jeopardize anything with Carter. I really wanted us to work out.

I was happy. Carter made me very happy.

When Thanksgiving rolled in, we spent it with my family. He was the second guy I brought home to meet my parents. Though Mom was very sweet and accommodating, my father, on the other hand, was a total pain.

"Tell me, Carter, how many women have you had sex with?" My father asked in a serious manner during dinner before he popped a carrot in his mouth and chewed it leisurely.

Of course, the entire table, including my aunt and baby nephew, got quiet. Baby Joey, though oblivious as to what the question meant, knew it was serious. Dad hadn't acted like this when he met Lewis. I didn't understand the third-degree with Carter.

Mom warned Dad, but it was to no avail. Dad stood his ground while he waited for Carter to respond. He eyed Carter with heavy scrutiny.

"Dad, can you at least act civilized. You're being too invasive," I hissed at him.

Carter turned red.

I figured that Carter might have a guesstimate, but not the exact digits.

I tensed when I heard Carter clear his throat. WTF? Was he really planning to answer that? How could he even manage to without getting his head chopped off?

"I can honestly tell you, sir, that I do not know the answer to that question, but what I can tell you, with great frankness and confidence, is that since Emma came into my life, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. If you had asked me how many women I have loved in my life, it wouldn't have taken me long to answer. I have only ever loved one and that is your daughter." Oh, shit. I loved him even more in that moment.

After a minute of silence, my father beamed. "It's ironic. I gave Emma's grandfather a similar answer when he asked me the same question. You are welcome in our home as long as you treat my only daughter well. Don't make me regret this, Carter."

"Thank you, sir. I promise that I won't."

With that, Carter was welcomed into my family and was in my father's good graces. Carter even accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Eve with us. I felt even more confident about our relationship—it was getting stronger by the day.

When we drove back to his house, I decided that tonight, I was going to tell him about the Lombardo film. I just hoped that he would take it lightly and be happy for me.

Changed and ready for bed, Carter gathered me in his arms and started kissing me.

"Carter?" I asked, breaking off our kiss.

I looked at him while he waited for me to speak. "I have to tell you something important... something that I'm really excited about. I want you to have an open mind and let me finish talking before you say anything, okay?"

I waited for him to nod before I continued, "I got chosen to be the lead actress of a movie alongside Bass. It won't start filming until May, in Greece. I'm not sure if I've ever told you, but I used to be in drama in high school and I loved it. I still love it. This unbelievable opportunity could start my career if everything turns out well."

Carter let go of me and stared at the ceiling, his usual demeanor when he was deep in thought. After a few seconds of him not muttering anything, I touched his arm.

"Carter, say something?"

"I'm happy for you, Em. I really am, but concerning you working with Bass? Not so much. He wants you. I don't know if he'll stop the next time. Right now, I'm thinking that he's probably waiting for the right opportunity to draw you in. I know men like him quite well because I was one."

No, Bass and I were through. I hadn't even heard from him. From what I could gather from the media, he was busy living his life, partying and playing hard on a field of vaginas.

"That phase with Bass is done, Carter. You have nothing to worry about. I'm with you now and we're doing _so_ great, _you're being so great_ and you make me very happy. I can't help but love you a little more each day."

He turned on his side and cupped my cheek. His eyes spoke volumes and it didn't take a second for me to succumb to his will. His love rolled over me with his kisses, his touch and his mastery.

Carter showed me his universe that night as he slowly made love to me.

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion."

_~Javan_

# Chapter One Hundred Fourteen

I got to spend Christmas day with Lindsey and Carter at their aunt and uncle's house in Montecito. It would be my first time meeting them and I had all these bad scenarios playing in my head. I thought Carter didn't speak about them much because, you know, they were awful or something.

I was wrong. They were a lovely couple and it was obvious how much they loved Lindsey and Carter, so I didn't get why Carter was being so indifferent about his Aunt Alice and Uncle Gary's affection.

After lunch, Carter immediately excused us when Alice suggested going out to see a movie. I wanted to go, but Carter didn't even give me the option. So, when Lindsey, Alice and Gary left for the movie theatre, I was determined to get answers.

He dragged me up to his bedroom. His home was enormous. Duh, Em? _It's Montecito?_ He's probably neighbors with Oprah.

"Why did your aunt and uncle buy such a large house when there's only the four of you?" I wondered out loud.

"They already bought the house before we moved in. They hoped to have their own children, but after a few years of trying, they gave up. They loved this house too much to let it go. They were happy to raise Lindsey and I after our parents died. I guess in the end, they got what they wanted."

That was a little twisted to even consider. Gary seemed like a well-rounded guy and losing his brother in such a tragedy was a lot to take in. "That's a little weird to say, Carter. You make it sound like they're happy that your parents are dead—that they got an instant family through their deaths."

"Whatever."

_Right whatever, Carter. You spout words that have a lot of hidden meanings and I should just shove them aside and ignore them._

"Here's my bedroom," Carter murmured as he opened the dark oak door.

The 'bedroom' was twice the size of our dorm room. It was themed in dark nautical colors against white walls. Carter's trophies and achievements were lined up on top of a mirrored shelf. I walked towards it and scrutinized each trophy. I knew Carter was great, but I didn't really know to what extent. His trophies started in little league and I smiled thinking about a little Carter in the field with mud smeared all over him.

"What are you smiling about?" Carter asked against my ear as he pulled me against his chest.

"A little league Carter Mason."

Carter sucked on my earlobe and I moaned against him. He hastily lifted my dress up, pulled my stockings down, reached inside my thong and started rubbing my core. "How about you think about the big league Carter Mason, hmm?" he whispered erotically in my ear.

With my head on the right side of his chest, I reached around and pulled his lips toward mine. I shivered when he kissed me like it was the very first time while his fingers did their job, killing me softly.

Carter started pulling us towards his bed as we fervently kissed, at the same time hastily taking our clothes off. He broke our kiss and pushed me down onto the bed, naked. My hair was all over the place, but I didn't care because Carter was eyeing me with terrifying hunger. He stood tall and naked before me and I indulged my overeager eyes.

"I just want to picture you like this forever in my mind... on my bed... looking more beautiful than the first time I saw you." Carter moved silently towards me, eyes full of admiration and determination.

"Stop," I commanded and pushed him down on the bed. "Now, it's my turn to have a good memory of you on your bed." I gently stroked his pecs, my hands sliding down south. He gasped when my hand reached the base of his penis.

My mouth hovered around the tip of his shaft while I gazed at him through my lashes. "Do you want a hard suctioned vacuum with a side of teabag action? _Or,_ a wet, sloppy, nasty deep throat with a side of tongue action?" I batted my eyelashes, staring at him innocently.

Carter gave me a wicked smile, "Thank you, God, for answering my prayers and granting me the perfect woman!" He reached down and stroked his hard cock a few times before speaking, "Give me the nasty works, Emma."

The nasty, you say? "Sure, but with one condition, do not ever, _ever_ touch my head and push it down, _comprende?_ " I raised my brow at the beaming man.

"See this?" Carter held out his hands and placed them underneath his head and smiled. "I will never dare touch a strand of your beautiful blonde hair, my Emma."

"Good, then we have a deal." I wetted my lips before lowering my mouth slowly on the head of his shaft. I stuck my tongue out and licked around it in slow, rhythmic circles to prepare it before I went down any further.

"Fuck, baby!" Carter hissed with obvious ecstasy.

If there was one thing Carter loved more than sex, it was getting a blowjob; soccer following as a close third.

Once I finally managed to fill my mouth with half his length, I still had more to cover, so I had to concentrate. Closing my eyes, I evened my breathing and relaxed my throat muscles before I pushed down further until the throbbing head of his cock hit the back of my throat. Hollowing my cheeks, I suctioned his hard length until the pressure made him delirious. Carter bucked his hips when I shook my head and stuck my tongue out, swirling it around as I moved upwards until it hit the slit on the head of his drooling shaft.

After six more times in quick succession, I grabbed his cock with my right hand to stroke him and lowered my mouth to lick his balls. The soft wrinkles felt smooth against my tongue. Using only my lips, I tugged it before I took his balls inside my wet mouth. Sucking them together, I used my tongue to flip the two, hard, rounded goodies inside, exchanging their positions, then back again while my strokes on his cock got fevered.

"Emma!" Carter hissed, his neck veins popping, his body tensed and knotted.

I released his well-exercised scrotum with a popping sound. "Not yet, Carter."

Swiftly, Carter had me on my back and jammed his cock inside me without warning. My insides clenched at his sudden invasion. "Emma, I want to feel your cunt flow like a damn fountain," Carter demanded as he pressed his heavy hand on my abdomen, grinding his cock down, hitting my upper vaginal wall while his thumb rubbed and teased the essence of my core.

I tried to bite back my screams, but it was pointless. His strong, determined thrusts became manically fast, making me tense and clench harder.

"Squeeze around my cock tighter, baby. Fuck! You're incredible!" Carter barked out as our bodies prepared for our release. "Let go, Emma!"

I screamed when my orgasm rocked me. Carter muffled my cries, covering my lips with his as he, too, found his release. "Emma!" he shouted as I felt his semen spurt and his cock pulsated fluidly inside me. He pushed his hips against me a few more times, milking out his seed to the very last drop.

We passionately kissed and then Carter broke it off, panting. Shifting his face away from me, he spoke. "I love you, Emma, with everything that I am." Carter moved to my side and gathered me close.

Kissing his chest, I murmured, exhausted, "I love you, too, Carter."

We held onto each other until we fell asleep.

I remembered thinking how lucky I was to have the man I loved finally loving me back.

# ~E~

### Three weeks later...

"What's wrong? Why do you look all sad and depressed?" Carter nudged me and pinched my cheeks.

Should I or should I not? Oh well! Best get a move on. "I'm a few days late, Carter." He immediately tensed. His playful manner vanished in an instant.

"You're pregnant?" He said it in such a frightening whispered tone, as if I had planned it or something. Uh, hell to the mother fucking no!

I shrugged. "I don't know yet. I was hoping you could come with me to get a pregnancy kit at CVS or somewhere. Then we can head back here and do the test together."

"I'm not ready to be a father, Em. Hell, I'm not ready for any of that shit. What the fuck! I didn't ask for this!"

His stupid answer made me fume. "You think I want this? I have a future I was looking forward to and now that could be taken away from me."

I never failed to take my birth control. If there was something I was meticulous at, it was taking my pills religiously. I supposed it happened when I got sick and had to take antibiotics for a few days. When I felt the chills, I immediately bought medicine. I guessed that was the culprit that messed up my cycle.

Carter held my face and spoke sincerely, "We could have it aborted. We can get rid of it."

Okay, I wasn't going to deny that that thought hadn't crossed my mind, but I didn't consider ever going through with it. However, now that Carter was all for it, I started to see him in a different light. And boy, it didn't look good on him.

"We're not even there yet. We have to see if I am before you start plotting the demise of your child." I got up and strolled towards where my purse was located and grabbed it. "Are you coming with me to go get the test or what?"

Carter looked more stressed out than I did. He simply nodded and followed me outside.

Twenty minutes later, we were back at the dorms. Carter pulled the kit out of the plastic bag and stared at it. "Do you just pee on it? Just like that?"

"Yes, that's what the instructions say, right?" I asked him, annoyed. He was getting on my nerves. I walked towards him, grabbed the damn kit away from him and went to my bathroom. _Next time, Emma, when you get sick, steer away from having sex. PERIOD._ Abstinence is the key.

After following the instructions, I carefully placed the test on the sink and stared at it until the three minutes were up. _If I was pregnant, did I want Carter to be the father of my child?_

After three minutes, words surfaced on the tiny oval screen. _Not Pregnant._ The relief I felt was astounding. Definitely no sexy time for me for a very, _very l_ ong while!

When I pulled the door open, Carter was standing against the wall with his eyes closed. "I'm not pregnant," I told him.

His eyes finally snapped open. "Fuck! _Thank you, God_!" he thundered, a tiny smile forming on his face. Then he became somber again. "Listen, Em, I have to go. I need to clear my head. I need to just drink a beer or two. I'll call you." Before I could even manage to respond, he left my room.

I stared at the empty doorway. I was shocked and saddened by his abrupt departure. _Okay_ , I expected him to be freaking out and stuff, but not leaving me here all alone after all that upheaval!

Boyfriends were pointless!

Since it was around four in the afternoon, Trista and Lindsey were still in school. Bored, I channel surfed. I stopped when I found Bass Cole's picture on the E! News channel.

" _Bass Cole getting his dirty business done on a hotel balcony with Lydia Cornwell?_ Look at the image and see for yourself!" The male host went on while the images flashed on the screen.

The picture showed him sitting on a hotel balcony, his head thrown back while a head bobbed in between his legs. It didn't take a genius to figure that shit out. Bass was clearly in seventh heaven while the woman was sucking him dry. I pressed pause and stared at it for a long time, ingraining the image of him in my mind. I hadn't heard from him, but I wasn't going to lie and say that I hadn't been tempted a few times to just pick up my phone and call him or send a text saying hello.

My eyes glanced back at the photo and I suddenly felt sick. _Bass Cole, I miss you. I wish you were here to soothe and calm me like you used to do._

It didn't take him long to find a girl after what happened with us on our last night together. Did he even remember me? I was sure after the endless list of women, things could get muddy. I mean, how many Brookes, Shannons and Emmas in the world had he hooked up with? Could he still remember? I was just one of many. The thought made me even more depressed.

Feeling blue, I strode back to my room after I turned the damned television off. The thought of Bass on that hotel balcony made me want to hurl. Curled up and feeling lonelier than ever, I willed myself not to shed a tear. Surely this loneliness was the outcome of the pregnancy scare and Carter's immediate take off?

Would Bass have reacted like Carter did? I told myself that Bass would, but somewhere, deep down, I knew that Bass would've acted differently.

Thinking about Bass wouldn't help anything. It was best that I shove my thoughts of him somewhere in the back of my mind.

I closed my eyes and kept them closed until I fell asleep.

# ~E~

It was his voicemail again. _"Stop bugging me. Thanks!"_

That was my fifteenth call to Carter that went straight to voicemail. I sent a few text messages and, _they, too,_ went unanswered.

Where was he? Was he mad at me? More than twenty-four hours had passed since the false alarm and I still hadn't heard from him.

A knock on the door made me look up and I found a smiling Lindsey. "Are you sure you don't want to go and party with us on Main Street?"

Positive. "No, I'm good."

Before she left I asked, "Do you know where your brother is? I can't reach him."

"I think Brody mentioned that they'd be at Amanda's house party. See you later, Emma!"

"Laters, Linds," I murmured once she closed the door.

So, Carter was out and about, partying, while I stared at the ceiling. Well, that would have to change. He couldn't just leave and not speak to me again after the pregnancy fiasco yesterday.

In haste, I grabbed the first skinny jeans I saw and fetched my nude leather jacket. I checked Facebook because I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that her party would be blasted all over our common friends' pages and I was right; people from our campus were going to her shindig. After tying my lace booties on, I headed out the door. I'd been to Amanda's house once or twice and I luckily remembered where it was.

Amanda's house was a massive sprawling mansion in Carpinteria. Her parents were apparently well connected to politicians and they held a lot of shares in one of the most popular hotel chains in the country. Once her palace came into view, I had to park a bit further down the road since it was jammed with cars. I got out of the car and walked towards the house. I wondered how she could pull off having a party this loud in this type of neighborhood. I shook my head when I saw a girl puking her guts out on the pavement with her friends trying to soothe her.

As expected, the house was a tsunami of madness; people were making out everywhere, topless girls were making out with each other for some guys that were hollering on the sidelines, lit-up joints were being passed around a large group of people, a DJ was playing hip-hop and, of course, thong-clad women were dancing and singing their hearts out. _Now, where the hell was Carter?_

Once I saw Cooper weeding through the crowd, I tugged at his shirt. His eyes bugged out when he saw me.

" _Hey,_ pretty little thing. What can I do for you?" Cooper slurred his words.

"Where's Carter? I can't find him anywhere."

"Carter... right..." Cooper shook his head. "Oh, he's around here... somewhere." My heart started to palpitate. Why was Cooper being so cryptic?

" _Where is he specifically_ , Cooper? Don't lie because I know you know where he is."

Cooper contemplated for a bit and finally shrugged. "Listen, Em, I like you, but don't tell Carter that it was me who told you. He'll chop my dick off if he found out. Got it?" WTF? How serious was this? Was Carter cheating on me?

"I promise I won't tell." And I wouldn't. This was between Carter and me.

"Is Lindsey here?" Cooper hesitantly asked. Was he still hung up on Lindsey after all the Cece craziness?

"No, I don't think so."

Cooper nodded and squeezed my shoulder. Okay, spill already! "Try the boathouse. That's where I last saw him."

FUCK!

"Thanks, Coop!" I gave him a sad smile and weaved through the throng of people to get outside.

The backyard was massive. It had a sprawling lush lawn that spread out until it hit the sandy beach. Palm trees were scattered everywhere with torches surrounding the trunks. There was a DJ playing trance and techno music out here.

I looked around for the damn boathouse. It was about a quarter mile from the house to my left. _Was Carter really in there?_ It looked too dark for anyone to be in there.

"Come dance with me, hot stuff!" Some sleazebag tried to pull me towards him. Ugh! No thank you.

"Not interested, bubba. Maybe you should try a few breath mints before you open that mouth of yours? It reeks of garbage."

"Jeez, I only wanted to dance!" the stinker muttered under his breath and left me to my own devices.

With my four-inch heels, I strutted towards the boathouse. I stopped right outside the door to listen for any indication that someone was inside. I could hear giggles and laughter from women, but I didn't hear Carter.

_Should I just open it?_ Was I ready to see what was going on in there?

Curious, antsy, angry and confused, I finally decided to open the damn door. It took a few blinks and I squinted until my eyes adjusted to the candle-laden feast that brightened the entire place. I froze and stared horrified as I took in the entire scene before me.

In the middle of some copper silk sheets, overflowing with embroidered pillows that were thrown on the floor, Carter was lying naked with one hand behind his head, looking like a fucking emperor having his usual night-time delights with his concubines. He was watching two nameless women—I recognized as friends of Amanda—make out while Amanda was sucking his cock. His other hand was busy finger fucking Cece while yet another nameless woman was licking his nipples.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed like a banshee, halting their movements. My eyes misted and I saw red. How long had this been going on?

I sprinted towards the indulgent sexual six-some and stood before Carter who immediately pushed Amanda off his cheating dick. Bastard!

"Emma, baby!" Carter started.

_Baby, my ass!_ I thought before I stomped on his crown jewels with good force. "FUCK YOU! Now you won't be fucking anyone tonight! We are through!" I bellowed at him.

"What the fuck, Emma!" Carter yelled before he curled up, cupping his balls. _Good_ , he deserved it!

I spun towards Cece. "Do you need to fuck the entire campus, Cece? Didn't it matter to you that he was with me? You're such a low-life skank!" I looked at the rest of the girls who started to scamper. "By the way, I'm Emma Anderson and you just fucked and screwed with my life, but I won't have the likes of skanks and tramps affect and ruin me. You can go and fuck yourselves now." With those final words, I left Amanda's house.

I didn't let my guard down until I got inside my car. Tears were streaming continuously down my cheeks as the scene I just witnessed flashed in my mind. Carter was such a womanizer! He would never change. Well, he did for a month or two, but that didn't last long.

Wiping my tears, I drove off. Not towards Santa Barbara, but towards Los Angeles.

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

~ _Winston Churchill_

# Chapter One Hundred Fifteen

Once I exited the freeway, I had no clue where I wanted to go. After thirty minutes of mindless driving, I found myself parking at the Chateau Marmont. With my purse in hand, I walked to the reception desk. Old Hollywood glamour greeted me. The design was retro chic with a hint of old charm. Most of the people that worked here, it seemed, were all hot. Whatever worked for their image, I guess.

There were a lot of celebrities there; this was, after all, a local celebrity stomping ground.

I didn't know why I chose this hotel. Since Lindsey and I were supposed to stay here the last time, it was the only hotel that popped into my brain. There was only one thing I was here for and that was to mend my broken heart and find solace.

I finally managed to get a room without shedding a tear. The woman at the registration desk was a fucking chatterbox and she asked way too many questions. I smiled and pretended to listen to her, but in reality, I was holding my temper before I completely lost it and snapped her head off.

"Here you go, Ms. Anderson. Have a pleasant stay." She finally handed me my keycard. I murmured my thanks before I headed towards the bank of elevators.

Once I got to my floor, I inserted the keycard and let myself in the one-bedroom suite. I felt like I just walked in on an old school TV set, circa 1940's. Mustard colored couch, beige walls, the style of the rug and the lamps were quite fashionably; period-themed? The room was homey and charming and made me feel right at home. Although, I felt like Lucy and Ricky Riccardo would walk through the door at any moment.

I walked over to the bar and got myself a chilled bottle of water. I grabbed the wine bottle along with the wine opener and strode towards the bedroom. Sighing, I took my jeans off and jumped into bed. I decided to text Lindsey and Trista.

Me: _Hey. I just checked in at Chateau M. for the night. Carter and I broke up. Be back on Sunday._

FML!

What the hell just happened? Carter and I were doing well before the _incident_ happened. Well, I guess that was that.

Groaning, I sat up and opened the bottle of wine. Since I would be getting drunk alone there was no need for a wine glass. I grabbed the remote from the side table and turned the TV on. I immediately went to check out the movie section. Maybe I should watch _The Notebook,_ or something really depressing like _A Walk to Remember_? Scrolling and browsing, my thumb stilled when I found one of Bass's films— _Knights of Cimmerian_. _Should I?_ Since I really hadn't paid attention to any of his movies before, maybe I should start now? Oh, fuck it. I pressed play.

Lucian, the vampire, was definitely something. I got excited when I remembered Bass had a blatantly hot sex scene in this film. I supposed you could say that I was doing some 'research' for _Blasphemous._

I took another gulp of my wine and almost choked on it when I saw that Carter was calling me. WTF!

"Leave me the fuck alone, manwhore," I muttered aloud as my heart pounded at the thought of him.

Why was he calling, to apologize and give me some reasonable explanation as to why he cheated on me with not just one woman but _with five_? I chastised myself for getting back with him. I shouldn't have, especially when I wasn't a hundred percent sure about it at the time.

You lived and you learned. Well, lesson learned. I was not going to rock that cheating boat again because being betrayed like that is not the greatest feeling in the world. My phone started ringing again and I hit ignore.

"Fucker!"

I willed myself to ignore the phone calls and concentrated on watching the movie. I melted when I heard Bass's voice. How pathetic and idiotic was I, right?

I was so engrossed with the movie that I didn't hear the door open. I jumped out of my skin when I heard someone yelling, "Dooooll!"

Within seconds, Lindsey and Trista walked into the bedroom. I stared at them like they had come from outer space. "How did you guys get in here?"

Lindsey Mason gave me a grin and waved a keycard in the air. "Well, since our doll face is moping, Trista and I decided to drive up here and chill with you."

I was touched by their sweet gesture. "Thank you, guys, but how did you two manage to get in?"

Trista laughed as they both joined me in bed. "Lindsey had to dish out some heavy boob seduction to get the guy at the reception desk to hand us a keycard."

I barked out a laugh. The image Trista painted was just too funny not to.

"Hey! I had to. You weren't picking up your phone and we were thinking crazy things. I was desperate to get to you quickly. Who cares? It was just a nice peek-a-boo to make the poor guy's shift memorable."

Oh, I just bet.

My easy mood got squashed when Trista spoke, "What happened with Carter, Em?"

Where did I even begin? Shit. "I had a pregnancy scare a couple of days ago and I think Carter just lost it after that. I hadn't spoken to him since then. He wouldn't pick up my calls or return my messages so I was really frustrated with him, but at the same time, I understood why he freaked out because I did as well. Anyway, I went over to Amanda's party to look for him and I found him in the boat house with Amanda, Cece and three other girls, having an orgy."

"Fucking Carter! I told you my brother was not good enough for you!" Lindsey was upset. She scooted upwards and sat next to me as did Trista. Both of their heads were on my shoulders.

"Men are such horn-dogs! I'm sorry, Emma." Trista looked at me and rubbed my arm gently.

"Thank you, guys, for being here. It means a lot to me." I held both of my arms out and hugged my friends.

"Well, look at the bright side, sunshine; you can finally go for Bass Cole without anything holding you back." Lindsey pointed at the screen where Bass was kissing a woman.

The camera focused and zeroed in on their locked lips. My eyes took in how he kissed her. The sight alone of him kissing made me nauseous. I shook my head. "Bass and I are dunzo in that department, Linds. He probably doesn't even remember me."

Lindsey huffed. "Nah, that's wishful thinking, my friend. That man liked you. I mean really, really liked you and you dropped him like a hot potato. Bass Cole, dumped? That's unheard of. Trust me, doll, that guy will forever remember you. Guys don't take rejection kindly. Although, he might just hate your guts a wee bit."

Trista got all hyped up. "I think you should go see him, Em. You know, make a whole grand gesture thing?"

Uh, how about not? "That would be terrifying. Let's just drop the subject about Bass, please? I just got cheated on," I reminded them, but they seemed to be busy thinking about Bass and me.

"Bass wants you, doll. I say, give him a call," Trista insisted.

I bit my bottom lip. "I—he probably doesn't like me much. It's fine, really. Bass and I didn't happen. It's best to just leave it at that."

"Wait until Greece, you'll see." Lindsey was quite persistent.

"Greece? Who's going to Greece?" Trista looked at us both.

Crap. I hadn't mentioned it to Trista and Lindsey had promised not to speak to anyone about it, so she was clueless. "I'm actually going to star in Martin Lombardo's film as the female lead, with Bass."

Trista stood up and started jumping on the bed. After her small acrobatic routine, she landed back to earth. After catching her breath, she screamed excitedly, "Oh. My. God. You are so banging Bass there! And fuck, you're going to be an actress! How cool is that? I can't wait for Cece to hear this one. She's going to hate you even more."

I was sure of that. "Well, she already got my boyfriend. That should suffice her, don't you think?"

I hated thinking about what I witnessed in the boathouse. The images kept flashing in my head. I just wanted to throw something or scream my anger out, but that wasn't going to happen. So, I just opted to simmer.

"Ah, forget Carter Mason. You should, like, have a seduction plan ready when you get to Greece." Trista clapped her hands together. Well, it was great that she was all in high spirits again.

"Better yet, I have the grandest idea! We should visit you in Greece and watch you guys film. Is that possible, Em? I would love to see it all happen!" Lindsey and Trista were both looking at me.

"I totally agree that you both should come and visit me. We can go island hopping! I have no idea if you're allowed to watch us film, but I'll let you know," I suggested while they got excited.

"All those hot Greek men!" Trista shrieked.

I thought she might have been a little drunk.

Lindsey threw the wine cork at her. "Before you get all excited and start gushing about Greek men, what are you going to do about Harry, Tris?

Trista lowered her head and fidgeted with her big toe. "I don't know about Harry anymore. My cousin's two months pregnant."

Fuck.

"What do you plan to do? You can't keep being the other woman. He's obviously having the time of his life while you're stuck being miserable!" What was with all these men? Ugh!

Tears started falling down Trista's face. I reached out and gathered her in my arms. Trista sobbed, "I love him. I don't know how I can move on. I know it's wrong and I want to just leave him, but I don't think I have it in me. I don't know if I can survive without him."

Lindsey stroked her hair. "I know this must be very painful and difficult to do, but you have to let him go. He has a baby on the way, a little boy or girl. You don't want to be that person that takes him away from the little one, doll. I don't think your conscience could handle it. You're strong and your strength is in there somewhere. It's high time you really let Harry go."

Trista was now crying uncontrollably. "I know, I know. I just need time," Trista spoke in between sniffs.

Taking Trista's face and wiping her tears away with my thumbs, I gave her a hug. "I think we've had enough of sadness tonight. Do you guys want to go through the room service menu and eat our hearts out while we watch Vampire Bass kick some ass?"

"Um, yes, please?" Trista tried to lighten up the mood.

Lindsey stood up and pulled Trista out of bed. "You look like you're in need of some pancakes and bacon. Come on, I'm starving!"

Trista just nodded.

"Do they even offer breakfast at this hour?" I asked.

"If they don't, I'll make them. If pancakes will make Tris happy, I'll make damn sure she gets some."

I loved Ferocious Lindsey.

I got up and followed the two who were both hovering over the menu. "Don't forget to order a shitload of dessert. I think we all need a little sugar lovin'. I want me some chocolate cake!"

"You betcha!" Lindsey grinned at me.

# ~E~

"What the fuck! Who farted?" Lindsey jumped out of the king-sized bed and opened the sliding door that led to the balcony while fanning her button nose.

Trista started laughing. "Sorry, I think I ate too much last night. I'm gassy. There seems to be no way of stopping it." She then resumed her laughing hysterics.

Fuck, that stunk, BAD. I jumped out of the bed and went out on the balcony with Lindsey, laughing. Trista followed us.

Lindsey pulled out a chair. "Sit your ass down woman and wait until the gods of shit bestow you the gift of using the toilet. Until then, do not come near me!"

Trista was now on the floor, laughing. "Aye, aye, Fart Patrol!"

It was already two in the afternoon; we woke up late because we kept rewinding the sex scene with Bass all night. Yeah, we drooled at the sight of his tight ass.

Lindsey sat across from Trista. Both of their laughs were dying down. I plopped down on the other chair next to them. "Have you guys heard from Amber? I've tried calling and texting her, but she's not picking up." Amber had been MIA since Tahoe.

Trista looked serious all of a sudden. "I've been trying to get in touch with her, too, but she doesn't answer me either. I guess she's just not ready to talk to anyone."

Trista had a point. It was obvious that Amber didn't want to be bothered. I just hoped she was doing okay.

We had to go home soon and I wanted to shower, but I hadn't brought any clothes with me. "Guys, we have to check out in two hours."

"What? Why?" Lindsey asked, confused.

"Because we have to go home?" Duh? We didn't live here, although, I wished I did.

Lindsey pulled down her shades and leaned against the chair, her face basking in the sun. "Forget it. We're staying another day here. We'll go shopping for clothes later and have dinner somewhere. How does that sound?"

_Hmmm, strange_ , I thought. I folded my arms and stared at her. "What's your reason, Lindsey? Why don't you want to go home?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Same shit different day. Brody and I—I told him I didn't want to do the whole relationship thing. Besides, I think this will be good for us. To stay another day, I mean."

And another one bit the dust. "Yeah, another day sounds good."

Trista stood up. "Sounds good to me. I have to get my phone charger. Be right back."

Lindsey and I were waiting for the coffee and fruit bowl we ordered when Trista came back. "Guys, look what I found!" She was out of breath when she slammed the magazine on the coffee table.

Lindsey and I both leaned over to check it out. It was Bass coming out of a club with the gorgeous Winston Twins. The Winston sisters, Kate and Khloe, were models as well as socialites; they were beautiful and rich. Their father, Grant Winston, owned one of the largest production companies in Hollywood. Guess Lydia Cornwell was history.

Lindsey and Trista were looking over the article, but I didn't join in. I honestly did not want to know about Bass's sex life. At all.

"This picture was taken last night. It seems Bass is here in L.A. for the weekend," Trista shrieked.

Okay, so? I wouldn't call him. "Well, that's nice."

Trista looked at me and then back to the trashy magazine. "Well, who needs another playboy anyway? I sure don't." Trista took the magazine and dumped it in the trash.

That was much better, thank you.

"I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?"

_~Author Unknown_

# Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

I heard a loud knock on the door.

"Emma, talk to me, please?" _Ugh, not again!_

"Go away, Carter. You're majestic dick is not needed here. Goodbye!" It had been a month since the boathouse incident and Carter was still trying to talk to me. Every. Single. Day. He hadn't been successful, though.

We dropped by Home Depot to buy new locks before we headed home from L.A. after the weekend at _Chateau Marmont_. I didn't want to take a chance on Carter prancing in here, asking for forgiveness, with me caught unaware. He waited for me everywhere, but I'd been able to avoid seeing him so far.

At times, I feel bad, like I was Cruella de Vil, but it didn't last long. All I had to do was remember the boathouse and it set me off in flames. I felt relieved when I heard him kick the door and stomp off.

Way to go and fuck up my day, Carter! Today of all days when I had to leave for L.A. Barbara's assistant, Mark, booked me a room to stay overnight in once a week. Upon arriving in L.A., I had to see my acting coach, Shiva, for two hours. After that, I had a one hour yoga session with Liston. The next day, I had a two hour grueling work-out session with my personal trainer, Ben. This painful, ass-kicking schedule started last week and today, I have to start it all over again. I didn't think my body had even recovered from the trauma it went through last week. _Yes, Ben was crazy._ It was hard to catch my breath with him. He was always breathing down my neck to keep on going and blah, blah, blah.

I honestly didn't think I needed to lose any weight. My stomach was flat and my body was toned from years of Pilates. I didn't know why Ben made me feel like I was the fattest kid in town. Whatever. I decided that after every session with him, I got to reward myself with something sweet and fattening. I knew it was naughty of me to cheat like that since I only had three months left before I left for Greece, but I really did believe that I seriously deserved it.

# ~E~

Lindsey and I were busy chatting as we unloaded our groceries from the trunk of her car. Once we got everything out, we walked towards our place. We both stopped chatting when we saw Carter leaning on the door.

"Emma!"

Of course, we both pretended that he wasn't there. When we got to the door, Linds pulled out her key and opened it.

"We need to talk, Em. I'm so sorry," the six-some lover said.

Ignore.

"Do you hear that weird sound, Em?" Lindsey asked me, amused.

I cocked my head a bit and blinked a few times. "Yeah, I think that's the sound of a dog crying because he got his balls stomped on."

Carter caught my arm and pulled me aside. Lindsey was about to flip a switch when I stopped her. "Go on in; this will only take a minute." Linds nodded and closed the door behind her.

For the first time in a month, I looked at Carter's face. I gulped, even though he was my least favorite person, it didn't change the fact that he still somehow affected me. Looking away, I hissed, "I'm only giving you a minute, Carter. I suggest you make the most of it."

Carter took hold of my chin and made me look at him. "Don't do this, Em. We need to talk... _in private_. Not out here. Please, I'm begging you."

"Will you leave me alone after you say your piece?" I looked at him skeptically. With Carter, it was hard to predict if he would keep his promises. His mercurial personality was one of the main things that infuriated me about him.

He shook his head. "No, I can't promise that. What I can guarantee, though, is that I won't be pestering you on a daily basis."

Good thing he knew he had a problem with sticking to his promises. Resigned, I reluctantly nodded. "Where do you want to talk?"

"Can we talk in your room?"

Let's just get this shit out of the way. "Yeah, that's fine."

Lindsey looked sour when I informed her that Carter and I were going to talk in my bedroom. Once inside, I sat on my bed and waited for him to speak. He was leaning against the wall, pensive. What could he possibly say that would make anything better? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I started picking at the edges of a pillow when I heard Carter speak. "I know there's nothing that I can say that will make you forgive me. I was so stupid. When you told me that you were late, I started to panic. All of my doubts of becoming like my father surfaced again. It was a big reality check for me. I suddenly felt suffocated. I can't even describe the kind of relief I felt when you told me you weren't pregnant. Nothing mattered then because I felt free. Before I even decided to cheat on you, I knew for a fact that it would hurt you, but it still didn't stop me. I do love you, Emma, but I don't know how to accept it and live with it without getting paranoid."

He came over to the bed and sat across from me, the bed dipping under his weight. "I'm really sorry for hurting you this way. There's no excuse that will make anything better for you. I love you and I will always love you. Maybe someday, when I am ready to fully accept my love for you, maybe we can try again." Fat chance, bitch.

When I looked up and met his eyes, I felt pain. I had really wanted things to work out between Carter and me, and he screwed it up because he couldn't _accept_ the fact that he loved me? LAME BALLS! "Well, geez, this was a nice chitchat, Carter. What are you going to say next? That Cece and Amanda were your side whores while you were with me?"

"No, it was just you then, Em, and no one else." Yeah, sure, I _so_ believe you. Not.

Carter raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. "I fucking miss you, Em. What the hell am I going to do without you? I don't like that I love you, but that doesn't change the fact that I do. You're all I see." _Good_ , let the ghost of me make you suffer and hound your thoughts.

My breathing hitched when he came closer and touched my cheek. Fuck! "I've missed how your skin feels. You're beautiful and I just wish things weren't so fucked up." Carter moved a little closer.

I wetted my suddenly dry lips. I couldn't do this with him. This was just too much. "Carter, you have to stop."

"I know, but I don't know how, Em. I don't know how to stop..." Carter trailed off as his lips captured mine. Maybe it'd been too long or maybe I somewhat missed this stupid toad, but I responded to his fevered, hungered kiss. I moaned when he pushed me down on the bed and positioned himself on top of me.

A knock came on the door. "Carter! Your time's up! You gotta scoot!" Lindsey yelled from behind the closed door.

"Fuck!" Carter cussed against my lips. Yeah, fuck. Thank God for Lindsey because I was just about to submit to him again.

Getting off the bed, Carter stood up and gave me a quick kiss. I just stared at him, wide-eyed. "I love you, Em." After telling his sister to back off, he stormed out and left the apartment.

Lindsey knocked on my door before she opened it. She strolled in and sat on my bed. "I knew you were in trouble when I didn't hear voices anymore. I just had to throw in my super life-saving skills."

This woman was awesome! "Thank you, Lindsey. Yeah, your brother almost had me. Fuck! I'm so stupid."

Lindsey gave me a quick hug. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Carter is just stupid. He's hurting because of what he did to you, but there is no one to blame but himself." She kissed my forehead and left me with my thoughts.

And for the next two months, he stayed away; physically, not emotionally. He would send flowers or presents to me on a weekly basis, along with random text messages.

Carter: _I love you, my Emma._

Carter: _I miss you, my Emma._

Carter: _I can't stop thinking about your lips. I wish you were next to me._

Carter: _I saw Pirates of the Caribbean today and couldn't stop thinking about our Halloween together._

Carter: _I bought your perfume today. I just wanted to smell you again._

Carter: _I will come back for you when I'm ready and I won't stop until you're back with me because it's not over. It will never be over._

Although I tried ignored his messages, they were in my thoughts. I had to give him props because he was really getting through to me.

I was being mind-fucked, plain and simple.

# ~E~

### A month before I left for Greece...

"Emma?"

I was surprised that Carter was waiting for me outside of my class. I had seen him around school from afar, but never up close. From time to time, I could feel his hot gaze follow me around, but he never approached me, until today.

"Yes, Carter? What can I do for you?" I wanted to roll my eyes, but refrained from doing so. He was exasperating.

"I got an invitation to play for the L.A. Galaxy for two seasons a few months back and I accepted. My first game is next week and I was wondering if you could be there as my good luck charm and wear my jersey."

He got invited to play for the L.A. Galaxy? I was wowed, but I knew this day would come. He was going to be a senior this year and he was on his way to getting into MLS—Major League Soccer. His dream was to play for FIFA—Fédération Internationale de Football Association—and win a World Cup. I had no doubt in my mind that he would get there, for he was one determined mother fucker.

Carter was fascinating to watch when he played. He dominated the field and I used to love watching him own it. In his jersey he was extra yummy. I loved his powerful, strong, thighs; they were thick, hard and all manly.

I once loved this man, but that was before he _screwed_ it up.

"I'll think about it, but I'm not sure about the jersey thing." I wasn't his girl anymore. He had made that decision all on his own by choosing the kinky boathouse incident over us— _me_.

He handed me his jersey. It was in a white gift bag. I knew without even looking that it would have the number seven stitched on the back, his lucky number. I hesitantly grabbed the bag from him. My hand tingled when our hands brushed. "Thanks."

Carter shoved his hands back inside his pockets, he looked unsure. "I guess, I will see you next week then?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't. With a sad smile, he departed.

# ~E~

"You sure you want to go with me? I mean he's my brother and all so I have to give some familial support, but you, you don't have to do this and torture yourself. You don't owe him anything."

I was already dressed and set to go, wearing Carter's jersey. FUCK!

"Lindsey's got a point, doll. I don't know about you going." Trista gave me a sad smile.

"It'll be fine, you guys. I have you two for a buffer. Now, let's get moving, shall we?"

We drove to The Home Depot Center—the home field of the L.A. Galaxy. Truth be told, I really wanted to see Carter play.

When he got on the field, he immediately looked to where we were seated—in the reserved seats section—and his face broke out in a massive smile when he found me. I almost smiled back.

When the game started, all three of us were cheering him on. Lindsey glanced over to the general admission seating and stiffened. I looked to see what she was staring at and I saw Cooper, Brody, Amanda, Cece and the three nameless bitches from the boat house sitting right beside our seats.

I wanted to rip Cece and Amanda's heads off when they stood up and started hollering, their large boobs jumping along with them.

"Stupid, skank-a-bitch," Lindsey muttered under her breath. My sentiments exactly! They definitely popped our damn bubble.

I was relieved when the game was almost over, but I was on the edge of my seat since the score was tied. All three of us stood up when Carter had the ball and started _The Roulette_ to move towards the opposite side of the field. I knew then that he was going to do the _Overhead Bicycle Kick_ and I hoped to God that he would fucking get it in past the goalie. My breathing stopped when I saw him go for the shot. Everything went in slow motion for me until the black and white ball went inside the goal, scoring the winning point. The stadium went ballistic and Carter took his shirt off and waved it in the air. He bared his hot, banging six-pack for everyone to see. He laughed when people started to chant his name.

When he stopped and looked at me, he bunched up his hand, tapped over his heart twice and pointed at me. I thought I was going to melt in to a puddle. Oh, fuck.

"Shit," both Lindsey and Trista muttered.

He gave me a beautiful smile before he threw his shirt in the air and aimed it towards the screaming fans. The crowd went wild.

After the game, Trista, Lindsey and I checked in at The Chateau Marmont, again. I supposed this hotel was now our place to stay when we were in L.A. We simply loved it here. Carter and the boys rented out a house in Malibu for an after-party. Of course, both Tris and Linds didn't think that I should go, but I wanted to.

"I don't know, Em. Carter still wants you after what he did. What if he tries something with you tonight? Will you be able to resist him?" Trista asked. It was a question that I couldn't answer.

Since we would be partying with Cece and Amanda, I had carefully chosen my outfit. This was going to be the first time I had been to a party since the boathouse 'incident' and I wanted to make myself as hot as possible tonight. I was going to flaunt my super sexy assets—thanks to Ben and Liston's dedication.

I chose a tight-fitted dress that matched my eyes along with some spanking hot designer nude rivet pumps. My blonde hair hung loose and I teased it to look like tousled beach hair. The tight dress made my C-cups pronounced with ample cleavage and the back of the dress had a big U-shape that stopped right above my butt.

Yes, tonight I planned to rock it with a lot of pizzazz.

"The best kind of revenge is to let him see how strong and beautiful you are, with or without him."

_~Emma Anderson_

# Chapter One Hundred Seventeen

When the girls finally saw me, Lindsey and Trista whistled.

"You know, if I were a lesbian, I'd be humping you right now," Trista declared. Linds and I both laughed.

"Come on, ladies. Let's go find Trista a super sexy man to get over Harry the asshat," Lindsey said as she opened the door to let us out.

Once we got to the party, Carter immediately sought me out like a horny teenager. "Em, you're doing a good job torturing me. I want to hide you from the gawking eyes of all the guys here. Fuck, you look hot as hell."

_Yeah, you can gawk some more if you want._ Just gawk, but nothing more.

"You played well tonight. Congratulations." I avoided his eyes while I took a sip of my mai tai and looked around the throng of people.

Lindsey was in one corner having an argument with Cooper while Brody watched from afar. What was going on with those three? Didn't she say that she didn't want to date Brody and she wouldn't date Cooper because of his fuck up in Tahoe with Cece?

My eyes darted to Trista who was busy dancing with a guy on the dance floor. Seeing her that way made me happy. She definitely deserved more than that douchebag Harry.

However, the burst of happiness suddenly left me when I turned to see Carter still standing next to me. My eyes connected to his; they were devouring me, but he refrained from touching me.

After two hours and a half a dozen mixed drinks, Carter was still stuck to me, tagging along like my bodyguard. When guys wanted to talk or ask me to dance, Carter stepped in like a rabid dog.

"Why don't you go and celebrate? Why are you stuck to me?" I asked with annoyance.

"I am celebrating, with you."

I rolled my eyes at that. Could he be any cheesier? I downed the rest of my mojito and spoke, "Well, I'm going to go find a guy to dance with. Laters!"

When I saw a hot blond guy at the bar, I darted towards him. This would be the first time I've ever asked a guy to dance, but after all the alcohol I consumed, all of my inhibitions were thrown out the window. I tapped his shoulder and the hot blond spun around. He smiled when he saw me.

"Will you be a dear and be my knight and shining armor tonight? Dance with me?" I asked and playfully bit my lip.

His hazel eyes lit up. "A hot, blonde bombshell asking me to dance? I'm honored."

I pulled him towards the dance floor and started to dance. The sexy man leaned into my ear and whispered, "I think I've seen you before, but I can't remember where." Not that stupid magazine again. I opened my mouth to say no, but he kept on going, "Did you happen to be at a club with Bass Cole and a group of his friends recently? I'm Taylor, one of his best friends. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that it was you. You've got one of those faces that are hard to forget."

FUCKING SHIT.

"Oh, right, Taylor." What the hell? I knew I was drunk with Bass that night, but still... I vaguely remembered meeting him and I did remember Bass telling me they were like brothers and always looked out for each other.

"Emma Anderson, right?" He even knew my last name? Shit.

"Yes, that's right. How are you?" Taylor then pulled me off the dance floor and found a spot where we could talk.

"Aren't you going to film with Bass next month? He's actually here tonight in L.A., but he heads out to London tomorrow." Why was he telling me this?

_Bass Cole, will I ever fucking forget you?_

"Yeah, I'll be seeing him in Greece." Before Taylor had a chance to respond, Carter stepped in.

"Try another chick, bud. She's taken." Carter looked serious as hell. I certainly was not taken. Carter could just shove his blasted jealousy somewhere else.

Taylor just gave him a jovial smile, but stuck his knife quite nicely at Carter. "It's not like that at all. Emma and I were just catching up since the last time I saw her a few months ago with Bass. I'm heading out to Bass's house right now. By the way, Emma, I'll be visiting the set in Greece. I'll see you then. Take care." Taylor walked off, leaving me with Carter.

Bass's house... I loved that house. I missed that stupid house.

"Can we talk in private?" Carter looked at me while I contemplated his question.

I looked at Carter for a minute, deciding if I should go with him or not. Seeing how his mood deflated after I danced with Taylor, I obliged. "Lead the way."

Safe in the confines of his bedroom, I sat on a chaise lounge that overlooked the ocean.

"Thank you for coming to my game. It meant a lot to me that you showed up." Carter stood across from me.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't a big deal." It was _and_ it wasn't.

"So, you're leaving in a month?" he asked.

I nodded. "Why?"

What he asked next surprised me. "Are you planning on being with Bass?"

Well... Bass... who knows? Bass touched something inside me and that alone made me hesitant. If I hooked up with Bass, would I come out of it sane? I doubted it. He would consume me. "Right now? No, but will it change once we start spending more time together? I don't have the answer to that, Carter."

He sat across from me, too close for my liking, but I didn't move either. "Emma, thoughts of another guy touching you intimately drives me mental."

Well, geez. Insert eye roll. "Good, at least you have the luxury of _just_ using your imagination. I, on the other hand, got to watch it in HD, including groaning and moaning in surround sound, with _not one_ , but fucking _five_ women. So, no, you don't get to complain to me about your tormented thoughts of me fucking Bass."

"Dammit, Em!" What I spouted off made him mad, but it was the truth.

I should have pushed him away when his lips pressed on mine, but I didn't. There was only one word to describe Carter's kiss—desperate. It was like he wanted to erase all the bad things he'd ever done to me. No matter how much he wished it though, it was not going to happen.

"I want you... I want to be inside you. _Let me in_ , Emma." Was it wrong that I was a wee bit tempted to say yes? Was it wrong that I got wet kissing him?

"No, Carter. You're not just going to say sorry and slide back home like nothing happened."

Carter's forehead touched mine, breathing in agony. "Will you give me another shot when you get back from filming? I will change and wait for you, Em."

"I don't think you and I will ever happen again. I honestly don't think I could handle it."

"When you get back, I'll be waiting for you. I don't care if you're with Bass by then. I _will_ fight for you, Em, and I won't stop until you're mine again. You may believe that we're over, but you and I will never be over, even if you want us to be." His words hung in the air.

I looked back at the man who I'd loved, the man that broke my heart. When my eyes met his, his sincerity and tenacity showed through the darken depths... and in that moment, I had an inkling that what he said might be true.

"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."

_~Tony Tobbins_

# Chapter One Hundred Eighteen

"Are you ready?" Barbara asked me, eyeing me like I was a little girl.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." There was nothing that could soothe my nerves.

Barbara checked me in at the W Hotel to stay for the night before I left for Greece the next day. We were in the living room in my suite, enjoying refreshments as we went over essential last-minute details.

"You have a spa appointment in a few hours. Bass is in Europe doing his rounds of interviews for a movie he filmed before _KOC_. He should be joining the rest of the cast in a few days. That kid is always jumping from one city to another. I don't know how he does it." Barbara Schwartz leaned back and looked at me.

"How _is_ Bass? I haven't spoken to him in a while." Okay, it was more like five months, but who cares?

"Not on speaking terms, are we? I knew something was up, but I didn't want to press you about it. Moving on, I have the 'scene list' and your sleeping arrangement." Barbara cleared her throat as she pulled a sheet of cream paper from a folder and handed it to me.

The 'scene list' was actually a list of what type of material I would prefer during the nude scenes with Spiros and Logan. Ha!

"Do you know who will be playing Spiros? You haven't mentioned him yet."

"Of course, his name is Dimitris Kosta. He's Greece's equivalent to our Bass Cole."

"Oh."

"Precisely—the man is a total charmer. Be wise, will you, Emma?" Barbara sounded worried.

"About me and Dimitris?" Christ. I didn't know if I should be insulted. I was certainly not a loose cannon.

"Oh, don't look offended. That wasn't my intention. All I'm saying is that you will be stuck in this place for months! You will be spending a crazy amount of time filming, not to mention the sex scenes that will happen—hormones will be jumping around. The men... they will need to release... and hunt for their chosen meal. We're only human and there will be times—how do you put it? Hmm... like you will be tempted to just let go and be reckless. All I'm saying is BE safe. And if it does happen... don't forget to take those birth control pills on a daily basis. I mean it, Emma. No unwanted pregnancies when you're barely making a dent in your career. I can have my assistant call you on a daily basis to remind you."

Geez, seriously? "Barbara, both of my parents are doctors. My mom's a gynecologist and she never failed to drill the safe sex speech into my head. I do love babies, but I'm not ready for that. You have nothing to worry about. I guarantee it, okay?"

"Good. Moving on... read through the scene list and circle what you prefer. Of course, it would be best to discuss that with Bass and Dimitris beforehand. Do you need Shiva to come here and practice running your lines together?" Gosh, I knew I was new, but my memory wasn't lagging. I think the past months with Shiva would suffice. I needed a break from him—even if it was for only a day or two.

"I'm fine. I want to go shopping before my spa appointment. I need to grab a few things before tomorrow." I huffed out a sigh and took a sip of my iced water.

"I informed Martin's assistant, Jack, about your sleeping arrangement. You did say you wanted to stay in a cottage?"

I had the option of staying in one of the twenty cottages around the area or have a room in the villa. The thirty room villa would be too crowded for me and I wanted to be alone. I couldn't wait to wake up greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the Aegean Sea. "Yes, I'd much rather stay in a cottage."

Barbara ate a bite-sized cannoli then dabbed a napkin on her pristine red-painted lips. "I did tell Jack that. He said that a lot of the crew chose to stay in the cottages, too. Jack said he would try to secure you your own cottage, but since we submitted the request late he can't guarantee it."

"I understand. I apologize it took me a while to get back to you about that. It's been hectic with finals and all." Excuses, excuses.

Barbara gave me a curt nod. "Just make sure that doesn't happen again because in this business, everything changes and shifts in the blink of an eye. Your phone is your salvation. Keep it close to you at all times. Little things like this are essential, Emma. You must understand that."

I was trying to, but I would try harder. "I will, Barbara. Trust me, I will. I take everything that is related to work very seriously."

That promise earned me a pretty smile. "That's more like it. I don't want to work with a harebrained actress. As long as you stick with that work ethic, you and I will get on just fine, Emma. Bass and I have a brilliant working relationship and I want that with you as well. I see the fire in your eyes—keep that and you will become successful. This movie will make or break you, dear. I don't underestimate Lombardo's choice, so I am really aiming for you to become the next 'it' in Hollywood. Just as long as you don't get too caught up with all the trappings of drugs and sex scandals, you're going to do fine."

"Huh? Well, I don't plan to scandalize all of America with my crotch, thank you." I only want to be recognized as a good actress... not a porn star.

"Splendid, then I suppose I will run along. I will check on you in a week or so. Have a safe trip." Barbara got up and gave me a quick hug.

Chanel No.5 hit me full blast. Goodness, did the woman bathe herself in it? A spritz or two should suffice, not the entire damn bottle!

"Thank you. I'll speak to you soon!" I gave her a tight smile and watched her saunter towards the door.

I groaned when the door shut behind her. I went inside my room and hunted down my purse. If there was one thing that would help ease my nerves it was shopping. I guessed I could splurge a little bit. I had been partially paid and that amount was sitting in my bank account. I supposed a dent on the amount wouldn't destroy me, so why not be fanciful?

_Rodeo Drive and Robertson Boulevard here I come!_

# ~E~

After a long eleven hour plane ride from Los Angeles to London, I was beyond ready to fall in my bed and snore the night away once we checked in at The Dorchester Hotel for the night. I was dreading the flight to Greece tomorrow–I was sick of airplanes!

Once inside my room, I pulled out my phone and sent a mass text message to my family and friends.

Me: _Just checked in @ the Dorchester H and I'm pooped! I will get in touch once I land in Greece. Love all you peeps!_

During the plane ride, I had a lovely chat with Ross Maitland. She had that whole warm, motherly feel to her that reminded me of my own mother. It didn't take much time for us to start chatting about her kids and what I should expect for my first time being in a movie. She was very reassuring and I was glad when she didn't question me about Bass.

For the past few months, I'd been keeping track of Bass through gossip magazines and websites. Pathetic, I knew. I didn't want to, but at the same time, my curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know what he had been up to since I couldn't bring myself to call or even text him. After all, I didn't hear from him either, so why make the big gesture? Because... _because you've been dying to hear from him?_

# ~E~

Once we deplaned and I saw the island of Aspasia, I was in love. My God, this little island was a beautiful piece of heaven with miles and miles of beautiful white sand and the clearest, bluest water I'd ever seen. This island was going to be my home for the next few months...hell yes!

"Welcome to Aspasia," a young tanned girl, somewhere in her late teens, greeted us. She stood next to a small circular table with iced lemonade.

There were fifteen six-seater, pimped-out golf carts and three Jeeps with matching uniformed drivers in each. I assumed the Jeeps were for the equipment and luggage.

"Will you be staying at the villa?" David Shilling asked me. Some of the people took their drinks and left with their assigned ride.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm staying in one of the cottages. I want to be close to the beach."

Ross Maitland laughed. "You young kids! See you during dinnertime then."

We grabbed our iced beverages and said our thanks to the smiling girl. "See you guys then!"

With a quick wave, I walked towards the cart that said 'Ms. Emma Anderson.' Wow, how cool was that?

"Herete, I'm Anaxos and I will be driving you to your cottage," a man in his fifties greeted me with superb hospitality.

"Hello. That would be lovely, thank you." I gave him a bright smile before I slid into the second row of seats.

I took in the breathtaking scenery on the ride to the cottage. They were right on the shore and the wide pathways were lined with beautiful, colorful flowers and boulders. I could see the expanse of the villa, which sat atop a hill from afar. We passed a few of them on the way to mine and it seemed that they were half a mile apart. I had no idea why they called them cottages when they looked like freaking dream houses. They were all white with hot pink bougainvilleas crowding them. They were perfect!

About ten minutes later, Anaxos finally stopped at the end of the pathway in front of a cottage that looked a little bigger than the other ones we passed by. While the smaller ones looked like they had two bedrooms, this one looked like it had four.

Excited, I hopped out of the cart. "Thank you, Anaxos."

He gave me a toothy smile. "No problem, despoinida. Here is your key and your luggage will be delivered to you very soon. Enjoy the beautiful islands of Greece. Have a good day." I gave him a quick wave before he jumped back in the cart and drove off.

Bubbles of excitement rushed through me as I used my key to open the cottage. The moment I walked in, a stunning view of the Aegean Sea greeted me from behind floor to ceiling windows. There was a glass door across the room that led to a large, shaded patio with an all-white pergola adorned with the twining hot pink bougainvilleas. I strolled towards it and opened the door to check it out. There was an outdoor rattan canopy bed, a table for six and lounge chairs were scattered around. There was even a pathway to the beach. I moved over to the white cement railing and took a long whiff of the sea air.

"Ah, this is the life!" I closed my eyes and basked in the sun's warmth.

I jumped when I heard a loud banging noise. I tensed and listened to see if I would hear it again. After a moment of silence, the banging sound started up again and gradually got louder and louder. _Was someone at the door?_ I moved back inside and walked towards the front door. I peeked out the peephole, but there was no one there.

Okay...

The banging got frenzied. I tensed when I realized someone was having sex in one of the rooms. _I have a house mate?_ Ah, fuck.

"Yes! Give me that meat, you dirty fucker!" a woman's voice screamed. The banging got out of hand then. It sounded like hundreds of horses were galloping at the same time. The woman was screaming and it echoed all through the house.

_Holy crap_ , she sounded like she's getting some hard, heavy pounding.

I stood in the middle of the living room as I listened... _hell yeah, I listened!_ It was like listening to porn in surround sound.

"Yes! I'm coming!" the woman screamed like she was being murdered.

Oh, dear. If this woman was going to be my housemate, she and I would have to set some ground rules. It would be a living nightmare if I had to hear those loud screaming voices all night.

After what seemed like a marathon of wall banging, it finally ended. _How long have I been listening?_

I was about to move when I heard a door open. A beautiful exotic woman—who looked like Sophia Vergara's doppelganger, but with green eyes—came out of the room, wearing only a skimpy shirt. From the looks of it, it wasn't hers. Her hair was wacky... _banged_ up hair. Ha!

She was smiling, but halted when she finally saw me. "Oh, hello, I'm Alexia." Without waiting for a response from me, she went over to the other side of the room towards the kitchen. _Okay... that was odd._

"Lex, can you grab me some water, too?" a male voice yelled. I watched the door open and saw a black, tight-boxer brief clad Bass come out.

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL! You have got to be joking!

"Emma?"

I squeaked.

FUCK!!!!! Floor, please swallow me whole.

"What are you doing here?" Bass asked as he came closer, wearing a weird expression on his face. I think he was trying to make sure it was really me. The closer he got I noticed his body had a nice glossy sheen of sweat that made his abs and shoulders much more pronounced. Gah! Stop gawking, Emma.

_Did he just ask me a question?_ Where the hell did my voice go?

One.

Two.

Three.

I cleared my throat and spoke, not meeting his eye, "I was told this was my cottage."

"Here you go, stallion." Alexia kissed Bass on the lips and handed him his water.

"I thought this was mine. Jack himself arranged it for me," Bass spoke in a tone I wasn't familiar with.

"Barbara arranged mine."

Bass cussed and left the room, mumbling about fixing the problem. I supposed the 'problem' was me?

Well, too bad. If he didn't want to share this cottage with me, he could move out for all I cared. I was staying put, with or without the angry Bass Cole.

"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain."

_~Aristotle_

# Chapter One Hundred Nineteen

Bass finally emerged from his bedroom after a few minutes, looking as pissed off as ever.

"I'm going back to our room. Don't make me wait too long, I don't want to have to come and get you. You still have promises to deliver, stallion," Alexia teased then sauntered past us towards the bedroom.

_Stallion?_ Blah.

"Jack said the extra cottage was given to the costume designer people. Fuck!"

Well, his obvious disdain towards me couldn't be any clearer. Did I expect him to greet me like this after months of not seeing each other? Hell no. Was I hurt? A thousand times yes. As much as I wanted to retaliate and stomp about, I didn't want to argue with him. I just had to ignore it. Time to suck it up, Emma!

"Whatever." I shrugged and moved past him. I chose the opposite side of the house, the room farthest from his, which was only two doors down. It wasn't far enough, but what choice did I have? I certainly was not going to be sleeping in the villa with the rest of the crowd.

I checked my room out. I had a huge bathroom and a massive bedroom with a very stunning view of the sea. It was enough to make me able to tolerate Bass and Alexia as long as they didn't fuck like rabbits all night or get in my business. I was still appalled and disconcerted about my encounter with Bass, but if he wanted to act like a total asshat, so be it. I would not let it get to me because the more I thought about it, the more I would be distracted and I needed all my concentration focused solely on my job. I'd just have to suck it up.

There was a soft knock on my door and I spun around when it opened. A young girl gave me a nice smile. "Ms. Anderson, my name is Maria. Your luggage is here. Takis will be bringing it in very soon. I'm here to inform you that there will be afternoon tea and snacks at the main villa in an hour. There is a directory next to the telephone in the living room. You can call for someone to come get you when you're ready, if you like. Have a good afternoon." I gave her an easy smile, thanked her and Maria smiled brightly and nodded her head before she opened the door a little wider to let the guy, who I assumed was Takis, bring my things in. I gave him a tip and said a quick thank you.

Once they left my bedroom, I dragged myself out of my jet-lag funk and headed to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I wore a long, pale, lemon-colored halter-top dress and finished it off with studded gladiator-style slippers. With a quick application of peach lip gloss and a hasty fluff of my long blonde hair, I was set to go. Since the studio asked me to grow my hair longer, I had been scared to go to a salon and get it trimmed. It was odd, yes, that I hadn't had a haircut in a long time, but I was hesitant. You see, from experience, stylists always nodded and pretended that they understood when you tell them that you only want half an inch off, but once you were in that leather chair, bounded with clips and the shampoo cape, you were at their mercy. More times than I could count, these people did not follow through with instructions. I hadn't minded it before, but with this movie, it was critical for me to follow through. I certainly didn't want to bother with extensions, so I ended up taking care of my own problem.

After endless research on the internet, I had found my salvation. Coconut oil, hot or cold. I had been applying it twice a week on my hair and it looked healthy and lustrous and most importantly, longer.

When I surfaced from the room and strode past Bass's door, I could hear laughter and something twisted inside me. I pushed forward and skittered out of the cottage. I needed a good walk to clear my troubled head and the ten minutes to get to the villa, did the trick, mostly. The villa was humungous. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I walked into an acropolis.

I was ushered inside a large banquet room. It was vast and airy and had all glass walls that overlooked the Aegean Sea. It looked like a shimmering blue jewel and reminded me of Bass's beautiful eyes... _the eyes that were gazing in Alexia's this very moment,_ I thought painfully.

There were a lot of people already here and when Ross Maitland saw me, she got up and introduced me to some of the other actors that I hadn't met. There were possibly five people my age; three guys and two girls. I thought they may have been cast as Logan's friends.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man stand up. I spun around and found a set of light blue eyes, fringed with sooty dark lashes. I was taken aback by his ravenous gaze–he was looking at me like I was his dinner. Barbara was right; I was going to be tested like mad. I was surrounded by hot men. _God, help me._ The man before me was the real deal. A real Greek Adonis.

Ross suddenly gushed. _Yeah, I know the feeling_. "Emma, meet Dimitris Kosta, your soon to be fake husband in a couple of days." Why was I frozen again? How many times did this have to happen to me? Fuck!

He held out a large, tanned, beautiful hand to shake mine. "Kalispera, Emma. I am Dimitris." He said, telling me 'Good evening'.

Damn, deep dark voice, too. Why couldn't he just have a squeaky, high-pitched, annoying voice? Why did he have to be armed with the whole _hot_ package? I eyed his over six-foot frame; he wore skinny chinos that showed off his powerful thighs and a powder blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his thick, wavy dark hair was trimmed neatly. My intrigued eyes roved about and took in his chiseled sculpted cheeks, strong jaw, straight nose and tantalizing smile. _If he tells me he plays soccer..._

I. Am. Fucked.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dimitris," I murmured, not meeting his eyes because I was so intimidated by him. _Who wouldn't be?_ I had just barely recovered from my shocking encounter with Bass and now this!

"I will leave you two young people to talk. I'm sure you both have a lot to discuss," Ross excused herself and joined some others across the room.

I had to leave and sit somewhere. Maybe I should have just blurted out, "later dude." Instead, I tried to compose myself. "I'm going to go to the buffet and get something to eat. I'll see you around, Dimitris."

He moved next to me and placed his hand on the small of my back. "Let's go get you some food. Greek food is the best. You'll love it." _I'm sure I will._

Once we got to the buffet, Dimitris pointed and explained the dishes. I noted that he was quite passionate about Greek food and his heritage. He was amiable and easy to converse with. He took charge, loading our plates with spanakopita, kalamarakia— which was calamari, but a bit harder to roll with the tongue—salad and some other stuff I didn't catch. He then loaded desserts on two plates; baklava, loukoumades, halva, finikia and amygdalota. My stomach growled when I got a whiff of the sweet smelling dessert pile.

Both of our hands were full with two plates each. Much to my surprise, Dimitris didn't head towards the tables where everyone was chatting. Instead, he walked out the main entrance towards a grassy hill-top that overlooked the sea and found us a spot where we could sit and eat.

"How do you like Greece so far?" the Greek man who sat before me asked with a winning smile.

"It's great so far. I'll let you know once I have explored more of it." I took one flaky spanakopita and savored every bite. _Delicious,_ I thought with satisfaction.

"I'll show you my country. You'll love it." A soft breeze passed through us and I noticed how the ends of his hair curled around his eyes. When he looked at me, I noticed how clear they were.

"Your eyes, they're very unusual, like crystals. I've never seen blue eyes like that. It's very distracting," I remarked out loud.

"I could say the same about your eyes, Emma, but I would be lying because I find the whole package distracting." Dimitris's eyes studied me and lingered on my cleavage.

Huh. How long did that playboy side of his take to come out? _Fifteen minutes, tops?_ "Well, I suggest you become accustomed to it. You and I will be spending a lot of time together."

Dimitris brushed the crumbs off his fingers and laughed. "Yes, you and I have two good naked scenes, no? How long have you been an actress?" I was entirely new to this. Would he still take me seriously if I told him I was an amateur?

I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Actually, this is my first role in a movie. I'm overwhelmed to be honest."

That definitely intrigued him. "A virgin actress! How exciting. We're going to have fun." _Hmm, right. Don't think so._

We had just finished eating and I was about to burst out of my dress. The food was totally delicious. I was already looking forward to our dinner tonight.

Dimitris looked at the scenery as did I. It was really beautiful here. "I have a party tonight in Athens. Will you come?"

I wiped my mouth with a napkin before responding, "Sure. What time?"

Dimitris gave me a dazzling smile. "I plan to leave after dinner. I will meet you back here at the villa, say at ten tonight? I have to speak to Martin about something important."

Partying in Athens? How far was that from here? "Okay, I'll see you then." We both got up and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before strolling back inside.

I walked back to the cottage and was surprised to find Bass. He was alone, out on the patio, enjoying a beer and lounging in only a pair of surfer shorts. Where was Alexia?

He strode back inside when he heard me. "Where did you go?"

I looked at him strangely. Why was he talking to me? Especially after the shitty welcome I got from him.

"Why?"

Bass frowned at my question. "I was worried."

I snapped. "Well, don't. You can go ahead and keep screwing Alexia. I'm going to take a nap. Oh, and please stop making her scream like she's getting murdered because I might just murder you both if you interrupt my sleep."

"I sent her home."

What? "Why would you do that?"

"You're here. We're sharing a house together. I don't want to offend you. I apologize for my attitude earlier. You just caught me by surprise. I didn't expect you to be just standing there, listening while I had sex with another woman."

I folded my arms and glared at him. "I wasn't listening on purpose, Bass. Hell, I bet the entire island heard her scream. I honestly don't care about your sex life." I harrumphed and turned around to leave, but he caught my arm.

"Let me make it up to you then. I'll make dinner tonight and we can dine outside on the patio." Bass's lazy, dimpled smile surfaced. That caught me off guard. I used to drool over his stupid smile and now... I still did... but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing.

"I'm going out tonight. I got invited to a party."

His hold tightened on me. "Party? Where?"

I gave him a bright smile. "With Dimitris Kosta... in Athens."

Bass let go of my arm and cussed. "You barely just got here and you're already going on _a date?_ Are you fucking kidding me?" Nope.

"See you later, Bass." With a quick wave, I left him there. I walked to my bedroom and took a nap.

_Forget Bass and his stupid beautiful eyes... and his stupid smile, too._

# ~E~

"I do not believe this! Go change, Emma!"

That's not going to happen, buddy. "You wish." When I had come out of the bedroom to call for a ride to pick me up, Bass was waiting for me in the living room.

Bass's eyes raked all over my body and I flushed from his scrutiny. "Your skirt is indecent, your top is too revealing and those fuck-me heels need to go."

My fingertips touched the end of my short skirt. "It's not that revealing. I'll be okay as long as I don't bend over." I was having such a ball at making his blood boil. Before he could muster a response, a knock came at the door. "That must me my ride. Have a good night, Bass." I sauntered past him and went out.

Before I managed to close the door I heard him yell, "Fuck!" I smiled at his frustration.

_Jealousy was a bitch_.

When I got to the villa, Dimitris was waiting on me, looking hotter than ever. "You look perfect, Emma." His light eyes were shining in the dark as he admired me. I murmured my thanks, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"There's been a change of plans. I hope you don't mind, but I want to take you to dinner then we'll head out to the party afterwards."

"Sure, I would love to see more of Athens. I can't wait." I gave him a great big smile before he ushered us to the waiting car.

"Sas efharisto, Emma." Thank you.

Since he never mentioned how we would manage to get off this island, I was a little apprehensive when we got to a small air strip where a black helicopter was parked. I was maybe thinking along the lines of a speed boat...

Once he thanked the driver, the golf cart drove off. I stood there, eyeing the daunting black thing. "Um, where's the pilot?" I didn't see anyone out here other than us.

Dimitris just gave me an amused smile. "I am the pilot. Come on, beautiful Aphrodite, your chariot awaits." Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and pleasure.

I swallowed. No way. "I don't know. I, uh, I've never been in a helicopter before." I didn't plan on dying tonight either.

"Don't worry. You're safe with me. Let's go." Oh, fuck it.

Once we were seated inside the cockpit, he turned and flicked a lot of switches on. I had a hard time keeping up. As he handed me a headset, I looked at him, deadpanned. "How long have you been doing this?"

His light blue eyes glowed. "Ever since I was twenty, five years ago." He touched my jaw and our eyes locked together. "Just trust me; I will not disappoint you, Aphrodite."

I smiled a tad hesitantly. "Just try not to get us killed. I would very much appreciate it."

With a throaty laugh, he turned on the rotors and swiftly lifted us up in the air. Scaredy cat that I was, I sat still and prayed for a safe landing with my eyes closed. About twenty minutes into the ride, Dimitris spoke.

"Emma, watch as we fly over Athens, it's a magnificent sight to see from up here," Dimitris's sexy accented drawl came through the headset.

Men and their sexy accents. It was hard to resist ignoring them when they started talking, especially when they were as good looking as Dimitris.

Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, the glittering lights of Athens below us sparkled in the black of the night. They were beautiful. It sort of reminded me of the view at Bass's house. Of course, Athens was much more fascinating than the view of Los Angeles. I realized that this had been the first time I'd even thought of Bass since Dimitris and I had left.

About ten minutes later, Dimitris landed on a helipad of a tall building. Apparently, he owned the entire building. The top two floors were used as his apartment and the 'party' was on the third floor. We ate our meal that his chef prepared–an authentic Greek meal just as he had promised–in his apartment.

After dinner we headed a floor down to join the party, I was surprised that the loud music didn't reach upstairs. His soiree had a club atmosphere and it had a breathtaking view of Athens.

I only had a glass of wine upstairs during dinner, but when his friends welcomed me and shoved shots of ouzo my way, I couldn't say no. Did I fail to mention that Dimitris was the perfect gentleman? He was awesome. We danced all night.

At around two-thirty, he pulled me aside. "Do you want to stay the night here with me or do you want my pilot to fly you back?"

We were both obviously drunk and I appreciated that he was offering to have his pilot fly me back instead of him, but did I want to fly back? Bass would probably be asleep by now. "I would love to go back to the island. It's been a lovely night, but I want to sleep in my room, if you don't mind."

Dimitris arranged his pilot to fly me back. On the helipad, he gathered me in his arms and gave my lips a chaste kiss, the taste of ouzo on his lips. "I will be seeing you very soon, Aphrodite. Have a safe flight."

I gave him another quick wave before I jumped inside the deathtrap. Since I was drunk, I wasn't scared of flying back to the island. A driver was waiting for me when we landed and took me back to my cottage. I happily waved at the driver and walked slowly to the door.

I opened my purse and searched clumsily for my key, but before I could even find it, the front door was yanked open by an intimidating Bass. "You're drunk!"

_Really?_ I hadn't noticed. "Ah, Bass- _hole_ , how are we doing tonight?" I shoved past him and went straight to the kitchen to get some water. The entire house was dark, except for the moonlight shining through the windows.

"Why are you home so late, Emma?"

I chugged the entire glass of water then slammed it down on the counter. I spun around and faced him. "The green-eyed monster got you, baby? You should be happy that I didn't say _yes_ to Dimitris' offer to stay the night with him." I walked towards him, brazen and so full of energy, and cupped his balls. Bass was momentarily shocked from my attitude. "Does jealousy eat you alive?" I squeezed his manhood a little bit tighter. "How much do you want me, hotshot?" His eyes darkened and he looked downright wicked.

Bass gave me a devilish grin, picked me up and swiftly carried me to my bedroom. He got us inside in a heartbeat. He put me down onto my stomach on the floor and ordered, "Don't move. Let me do everything."

_I like this Bossy Bass,_ I excitedly mused.

"Lift your arms." I did as I was told. Bass slowly took off my clothes, leaving me in my skimpy thong. His forefinger traced a path from my neck to the base of my spine. He pulled my hair to the side, exposing my neck and began a trail of kisses down my back. He knelt down and slowly slid my underwear off then resumed his trail of soft kisses. When he got to the crevice of my butt he stuck his tongue out and I tensed. _Whoa, there!_

"Step aside and bend over with your hands touching your toes."

Ummm, What?! I was a bit skeptical but still followed his commands, bending over with my ass up in the air while I clutched my toes as if my life depended on it.

From the base of my butt's crevice, his thumb slowly glided down until it reached my sensitized area. I gasped when his thumb grazed by my anus. It went further until he reached my pussy and jabbed his thumb inside me. I gasped in shock.

"Do you like what I'm doing to you, Emma?" he asked while his ministrations became frenzied. I moaned. FUCK. YES!

I closed my eyes and savored the heavy pounding of my heart and the throbbing of my pussy as he became relentless. _I wanted more..._

He pulled out his thumb and inserted it in my anus. I tensed, but before I could manage to protest, he stuck another finger inside my vagina. Ah, shit! His finger was twirling and sliding in and out of me. He was taking some of my juices and slathering them along my labia.

"Do you want more?" Bass rasped out.

Did I want more? _Was he loco?_ I wouldn't be in this bent over position if I didn't! "As much as you can give me," I implored.

Bass pulled out his fingers. I sighed when he lifted me up and carefully placed me on the edge of the bed. He knelt before me and slid the lower half of my body a tad off the bed. I bit my bottom lip as I stared at him. My carnal body was fervent for him, aching for him to touch me.

Spreading me wide open, he folded my legs and looked at me. "Hold onto your legs. Don't let go until I tell you to, understand?" Bass asked as he pressed both of his hands on my inner thighs and pushed them open further. _When had I become so flexible?_ The sides of my folded legs were touching the bed, all wide and all accessible to him.

Anything you ask, I'll do. "I won't let go until you tell me to."

The wicked smile of his resurfaced again. "Good girl, Emma."

Just the look of Bass in this licentious state gave me a euphoric high. If I thought he looked like a badass sex-god before, I was much more blown away with the wicked Bass before me. It was the light and the dark side of him meshed together.

Bass pulled something out of his pocket and opened a tiny can of Altoids, the sugar-free kind. Ah, why did he need _breath mints?_

He popped six tiny, blue squares in his mouth and placed the rest next to me. His azure eyes glittered before me as he focused on my exposed genitalia. I watched as he puckered his lips and slowly blew his minty breath on my pussy all the way down to my anal hole and then back up again. I shivered, _holy awesomesauce!_

The tip of his minty tongue ran through my pussy with one quick swipe. The minty feel made my labia tingle like it was on fire. I clenched my vaginal muscles. I was trying to control my body because it was on the verge of combusting from the thrill and anticipation of Bass's ravaging tongue.

He reached out and took two more Altoids and inserted them inside me. His hot tongue followed suit. I yelped. All the minty/fiery/cool/wet sensations and the ministrations of his tongue made me lose control. I lifted my hips off the bed, wanting him to keep going, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Bass focused on my nub and started to slowly nip the sides of my wet folds.

"Bassss!" I screamed when he inserted his middle and forefinger inside my pussy and his thumb in my back door entrance. Anal foreplay was something I had never experienced; it was a taboo and I never thought it would play a part during sex, but Bass proved me wrong.

His finger fucking of my vagina was another thing. He didn't move it in and out of me, but instead, he hooked his fingers like a grapnel, and zeroed in on my g-spot. Bass was abso-fucking-lutely relentless in working over my body; his thumb stuck inside my other hole, his teeth biting in between the twisting and flickering of his tongue on my clit and his finger hooked in my pussy were all making me tremble violently.

I was a fucking shipwreck; sinking further down and drowning from all the shocking tremors that were vibrating through my body in waves. The more I thrashed and moaned, the more Bass became feral, unleashing those teeth of his, biting me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier, he pulled out his thumb and used his free middle finger to trace my pussy juice down to my ass. Sliding it down, wetting it before he stuck his middle finger in my anal entrance. I bellowed when he started it all over again. It didn't take long before my orgasm rocked me over and over and over again. Back to back to back, the crazy multiple orgasms made me see stars.

"Bass, please, stop. I can't take it anymore. I want you in my mouth," I begged and sobbed at the same time because he wasn't letting up. I didn't know if I could handle another round of orgasms. I was already dying; the next batch would surely put me six-feet under.

When Bass finally came away from my mound and ass, his lips were cherry red, my wetness glistening on his mouth and chin. His smile was devious. From the top slit of my lower lips. He stuck out his tongue and slowly licked me going upwards; past my navel, the valley of my breasts, my chest, my neck and stopped on the tip of my chin. I gasped when I felt his hot tongue trace my lips in such a slow, sweet, lingering motion. I was praying for him to kiss me, but he gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose instead. _What? There is no way we were done here!_ I wanted to touch that fat monster of his. I'd been dying to since I saw him naked the night we swam.

I reached down to unbuckle his jeans, but he moved sideways. "No, don't do this," I begged. How could he not want to finish this after what just happened between us?

He stared at me, eyes flicking back and forth. "Be with me, Emma," Bass rasped out.

I didn't know if I could be with Bass. He was a big mystery to me. What I felt for him was just too complex to analyze at that moment. "I..." _What?_

"Yes?" Bass waited until I spoke again.

"I don't have an answer." What happened with Carter taught me that playboys couldn't be trusted. Bass was one, too. If I thought Carter had an army of sluts in Los Angeles, Bass Cole had an army in every country.

Bass nodded. "Right, of course," he said in a clipped tone. He got up and left my bedroom. I stared at the closed door, wondering if he and I would ever come to a resolution.

"What is a good performance? It lies in the hands and head of a performer... the shortest way between two people is not a straight line."

_~Earle Brown_

# Chapter One Hundred Twenty

The moon had just started to show when I arrived on set. Today we were filming the scene where Angela and Logan went for drinks at a local bar. The massage scene, where they initially meet, would be done tomorrow. I didn't know why it was done backwards. I just did as I was told.

I didn't know how it would play out with Bass tonight, especially since I didn't see him all day yesterday or this morning. My palms were sweaty and I was so nervous. The song, "Lose Yourself" __ by Eminem played in my head, _on repeat_ mind you. __ I just hoped I didn't get too nervous. The last thing I needed was to get choked up and be unable to utter a damn line.

The first scene we would be filming today was an encounter between Angela and Logan. It was in a bar which would lead them to the abandoned hut where they made love for the first time.

I had read through my lines and I knew them by heart... yet, I was still anxious. The thought of getting naked for the second scene tonight in the "abandoned hut" with Bass, made me want to faint.

I spun around when I heard someone approach me. "Emma? Hi! I'm Megan. Your hair and make-up team are ready for you."

I took her outstretched hand and followed her. I met the three people who were on my hair and make-up team–Stacy—hair, Gigi—clothes and body and Ants–short for Anton—make-up. They were all dynamic people and were excited that the shooting was finally about to start. And of course, they gushed and compared Dimitris and Bass. I stayed mum since I didn't have anything else to add. They pretty much said everything there was to be said about their hotness and their certain body parts, in great detail.

Ants shooed me away when I was done. The gay man's unique personality was very uplifting and he made me a little less nervous. When I came out, I saw Bass talking to a few actors that I recognized. He was laughing and joking around with them, but when our eyes met, his laughter died and he looked away.

So when Martin and the film crew indicated that we were about to start and the second assistant cameraman held the clapperboard, I zoned Emma out and channeled Angela.

# ~E~

After a few drinks with Angela, Logan started to become aggressive. His large hands were caressing her thighs as he whispered in her ear, "Does the rest of your body feel like silk?

Angela laughed and clutched his thigh. "You tell me. You were the one who gave me a massage earlier. Did you think it felt like silk then?"

Logan's hand took Angela's and made her touch his face. Slowly, he looked at her through his lashes and with parted his lips, he sucked on her middle finger. She gasped at his brazen approach, especially since they were at a bar.

"I want to taste your silk, Angela."

Angela just gave him a seductive smile. "You need to work a little harder than that, don't you think?"

For the rest of the evening, Logan tried to seduce Angela. When he took her for a midnight stroll on the beach, he knew he was going to have her. He wouldn't allow it to be any other way.

# ~E~

The clapperboard woman shouted, "And cut!"

Bass left without saying a word to me. I stared at him, lost in my thoughts and simmering at the infuriating actor.

We were moved to another location and that took another hour to set up. This, though, was a smaller crew since there was a lot of nudity involved. There were only a few people allowed inside the shack—the director, camera man, sound guy and a couple of women who would hand us our robes once the scene was over.

The dynamic trio—Ants, Stacy and Gigi—took my clothes off and applied some lotion that would make me glow and my hair and make-up was retouched. The most embarrassing part? I had to lie down and spread my legs wide open so Gigi could put the vaginal pastie on properly. It was just enough to cover where my entrance was located. She said she didn't want to have to redo it during the shoot. I was pretty sure I didn't want to _ever_ have to do this again. After a quick tousle of my hair, I was ready.

Wearing only a blue silk robe, I stepped out of the tent and went inside the shack. The rest of the crew would wait outside until the scene was done. I was told that this scene could take thirty minutes or up to two hours to shoot—depending on how many times we had to shoot it to get it right. Any amount of time I would have to spend with the asshat was unpalatable, given my agitated state.

Once in the shack, I was shocked to find Bass there in only a black silk robe that was slightly parted, showing off his hard chest. Not meeting his eyes, I swallowed hard. _I better freaking get it together before I humiliate myself._ I wished he would be at least nice to me; I wouldn't have had a mild panic attack.

The rustic room had candles lit around the bed giving the scene a romantic ambiance. We were ordered to stand in front of the bed and kiss until we made our way onto the bed. If Martin didn't like it, we had to redo it again and again until he was happy with it.

Standing with Bass, the robe ladies came over and took them away from our bodies. My nipples tightened at the sudden feel of air against my flushed skin. I stared at everything other than Bass, but I could still feel him watching me.

When the clapperboard woman stood up, I forced myself to suck it up. Bring it on, Bass Cole!

"In five, four..." The stage hand finished counting down with her hands in silence then pointed at us as the film began rolling.

# ~E~

Logan touched Angela's face, staring lustfully into her eyes and brushed his lips to hers. Once they started kissing, all hell broke loose. Without breaking their kiss, Logan had Angela on the bed in a matter of minutes. Parting her legs, he positioned himself on top of her as he kissed her to oblivion.

_Emma, what the fuck is going on. I can't breathe! OMG! Bass is fucking hard against me. OMG! Fuck!_

Logan slowly made love to Angela, showing her the delights of his body as he licked and kissed her neck all the way to her breasts.

Lost in each other's body, that night sealed Logan and Angela's fate.

# ~E~

"Cut!"

Immediately, the robe ladies came forth. Bass jumped out of the bed and took his robe. Before leaving the shack, he bent over and whispered in my ear, "It's my turn." Turn for _what?_ To be a fucking pain in the ass?

Son of a gun! I hated him! I fumed and left to change in the tent where the dynamic trio helped me dress and wished me goodnight.

Bass was beyond infuriating. His ice-cold indifference was driving me mental!

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink and your thirst increases."

_~Chinese Proverb_

# Chapter One Hundred Twenty-One

When I got out of the dressing room, dressed in a short, thin-strapped cotton dress, I didn't see Bass anywhere. I was relieved and ticked off at the same time. What kind of game was he playing with me?

"It's my turn." _What the hell?_ Saying that he was frustrating was an understatement.

I spun around when I heard Martin behind me. "You did a splendid job tonight, Emma."

Now, I was blushing. "You think so? Thank you. That means a lot." He gave me a tired smile and tapped my shoulder.

"There's a thunderstorm coming in tonight, but it should be clear with sunny skies tomorrow. You should grab one of the rides and head safely to your cottage. Goodnight, Emma." With a quick wave, he and Jack walked off in a deep conversation.

Since we were on the other side of the island, a lot of the golf carts were here. When I got close to where the carts were parked, I made a last minute decision and decided to walk. It would take me longer to get to the cottage, but I needed the walk to clear my head. There was no way for me to get lost as long as I stayed on the sandy path that led to the cottages.

I took my sandals off before I started walking back and I reveled in the feel of sand between my toes. The sky let out a loud, angry grumbling sound. The weather certainly matched my mood.

I was stuck with thoughts of Bass and my brain wouldn't shut down. My mind kept skipping back to our kiss like a broken vinyl record. It kept flashing and playing in my mind. _The kiss with Bass._ Just the thought of it gave me shivers. Kissing Bass for the first time tonight, even though fake, felt so fucking real to me. I trembled in his arms and I felt like I was being lifted off into another dimension. The raw feel of his bare chest against my breasts felt too delicious. His evident hard-on against my mound felt like paradise.

I wanted him so badly it had become a distraction, but I was hesitant and cautious. I just didn't know what to do about him. Would it be wise to cross that line with Bass? He was such a lothario–hadn't I just dealt with Carter and his man-whoreness? As disconcerting as it was to me, at the same time, I was euphoric. What was it about sexy bad boys that was just too _hard_ to resist? The heart-pounding chase, the frustrating game and the cataclysmic surrender... it was like no other.

I rubbed my arms gently while I strolled leisurely. My skin felt damp on my hand, my body sheened with sweat. My long hair felt flat, almost losing its volume. After what seemed like two and half hours of shooting different scenes with a few that had to be reshot three times, it was no wonder I felt drained.

There were no stars or moon tonight and the sky was dark. The clouds hung low and another loud grumbling sound warned me of the storm that was coming. Most of the cottages I passed were still dark since most of the people staying in them were on the film crew, and they were still back at the set. I walked faster and sighed with relief when my cottage came into view. _Where was Bass?_ I wondered when I saw that the cottage was completely dark.

I gathered my hair and tucked it over my right shoulder before I stepped on the four-step, pebble-cemented stairs. Once on the patio, I dropped my sandals next to the sliding glass door and shook some of the sand off my feet. Once done, I let myself in the darkened cottage. Now, where were the light switches located? It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the living room.

"What took you so long?" I jumped from the unexpected sound of his voice.

"Bass?"

I was rooted to the spot when I saw him stride towards me, wearing only his worn out jeans. They hung low on his hips, showcasing that sexy v-line. His rock hard, perfectly contoured body stood inches away from me. My throat constricted when I heard his shallow breathing. The words of Alexander Pushkin, the Russian poet floated in my head as I met my fate and looked him straight in the eye.

_Then came a moment of renaissance, I looked up - you again are there, A fleeting vision, the quintessence Of all that's beautiful and rare._

The world around me got smaller. At that very instant, it consisted only of Bass. My body was heightened and apprehensive, every hair standing on end. My nipples tightened acutely, painfully.

When his finger lightly touched the curve of my cleavage, I closed my eyes as my body tilted a bit. My ears started ringing as my heart galloped with lightning speed. I felt drunk with lust and itched to be touched. I wanted to be possessed, marked, fucked and owned by him. I craved it. My body craved it. My soul craved it.

With my eyes closed, all of my senses centered on him. "It's my turn, Emma," Bass murmured. My eyes snapped open when I felt him rip the delicate strap on my right shoulder. "My turn to claim this sinful body of yours," he ground out before he ripped the other strap.

My dress pooled to my feet. When my eyes finally met his again, Bass looked dangerous. The sweet-talking Bass that I knew last year was gone. My body, though, didn't care. It responded with an electrifying intensity when his eyes found my breasts. They felt heavy, my nipples peaked.

His fingers grabbed the side of my thong and ripped the scrap off my body. I gasped from the slight sting I felt when it chafed my skin. At the same time, my body exalted with excitement. I felt hot liquid dripping slowly from my core in anticipation. Without breaking eye contact, he took off his pants. My teeth bit my bottom lip when I saw his fat cock spring free. _Wow_ , my eyes simply couldn't stop devouring the impressive size of his erection. I felt raunchy and downright nasty. On cue, his eager phallus twitched from my appraisal.

Bass started stroking his length, slowly, up and down, while I watched it grow bigger. His hardness was stretched to capacity, evidence of his fervid arousal. I was unprepared when Bass used his fingers to pinch my pebbled nipple and twisted it. Upon releasing it, he lightly slapped my breast. Oh, fuck! Pleasure bordering on pain coursed through me. My mound quivered as I clenched my thighs together. I wanted to have sex and get it over with! This foreplay was killing me!

"What are you waiting for Bass? Where do you want me?" my voice pleaded like the horny, wanton woman that I was. He let go of his cock and caressed my neck. In soft, excruciating strokes, he touched my jaw and stopped on my lips.

Bass gave me an evil smile. "Kiss me, Emma."

God, yes! Wetting my lips slowly, I pulled his arm and pushed him hard against the wall. It was my turn now.

Pressing my fevered body against his hard masculine one, I hastily pulled his face towards me. His hands wrapped around me while I cupped his jaw. I wanted to eat those lips of his like there was no tomorrow since he had deprived me of it for so long. However, when our lips touched for the second time tonight, the animalistic kiss I expected turned slow and sweet. Ever so lightly, he used the tip of his tongue to open my mouth to him. I kissed him with every feeling that I felt, everything that I believed in and everything that was in me. The sweet slow kisses tilted my axis. He was my kismet.

I moaned against him when he sucked on my tongue. I ran my nails down his back, grazing him. Bass shifted our positions and had me against the wall instantly. With our lips kissing and our tongues sparring, he swiftly lifted me up. He shoved me, pinning me against the wall while my legs clutched his hips. His cock twitched when it touched my wet folds. I used my hips to grind my parted folds against the tip of his shaft, but he lifted me upwards, not wanting my pussy to touch his penis.

"Bass... I can't wait anymore." With strength and determination, Bass carried me to the outdoor canopy bed. He hovered over me and I just wanted to die from the electrifying feel of him.

The loud clapping of thunder broke out in the background, but I was beyond caring about anything other than this man. I felt him lower his body and part me wide open, both heels on the bed. Bass stuck two fingers inside me while his tongue teased my nub and folds. I whimpered when his ministrations became fervent and I couldn't stand the feeling. I sat up and pulled his lips to mine and kissed him while he finger fucked me. I felt the first drop of rain on my shoulder, but it didn't stop us. Rain couldn't stop me, not even a storm.

The smell of him and the feel of his heat were overwhelming my senses. I was rapturous. I licked the raindrops, which were coming in sideways, off Bass's neck and sucked on his earlobe.

"Emma, I want you _so_ fucking much," he hissed.

Bass moaned when I started to go down on him, biting and nipping his skin. Without the help of my hands, I lowered my mouth to capture the thick throbbing head of his cock. My tongue made slow impassioned circular motions, before I hollowed my cheeks to take him deeper. With the way Bass was hissing and moaning, I didn't care if I gagged or not, as long as I was pleasuring him. I loved watching this man become undone by my mouth alone.

Relaxing my throat, I took him deeper and he hit the back of my throat. "Fuck, Emma!" Bass hissed in between pants.

_Excellent_ , _I'm not finished with you yet_. I thought silently. I quickly shook my head as his member swiftly shot back and forth in my mouth, the tip of his shaft sensitive to the ridged muscles on the back of my throat. I used my hand to pull his ball sack as my tongue spiraled along with my bobbing head. Bass groaned before he pulled me off of his cock.

He stood up, pulled me out of the bed and guided me to the cemented railing. "Spread your legs open, bend over and rest your elbows on the rail," he commanded. I sucked in a breath. All this anticipation was driving me insane. I felt him behind me. "You're so beautiful, Emma. You've been my living nightmare," Bass hissed in my ear as he stuck his fingers inside of my hot, hungry channel again. My ass pushed down on his hand. _I wanted more_ , dammit! I closed my eyes and concentrated on the glorious feeling his fingers were giving me.

"How does your pussy like to be fucked, Emma?"

At this point, he could do as he pleased. "It doesn't matter."

Bass's deep, fuck me voice broke into my thoughts again. "You're so tight, Emma. Do you think your pussy can handle my cock?" I shook my head in response. No, I didn't think so, but I didn't care. "Do you want me to rip you apart? Make this sweet, little pussy stretch while you wince in the pain with pleasure it will give you?"

"YES! PLEASE!" I begged.

The rain hadn't stopped and we were both soaked. My pussy was soaked and out of control. I groaned in agony when I felt his other hand circle around my anus. What was he waiting for? I was way past ready.

The thunder rumbled again, a little longer this time. His lips pressed against my back when I heard him, "I will fuck you on one condition, Emma."

I stilled. "What condition?"

"You give me your body the entire time we are here, _day and night_. I want it available to me at all times. No one else gets to touch it, but me. Allow me to fuck my addiction of you, in your mouth and in your sweet cunt. I want sole ownership, Emma." I felt him withdraw his fingers and position the tip of his fat cock on my entrance.

FUCK! ME! Damn you.

Us together for four months, day in and day out. What happened when we got back to L.A.? Would we be friends or foes? _Do you really want to think about that right now?_ I think not. "Yes..."

My eyes widened and my mouth opened when I felt his large cock pierce me with one hard, obliterating thrust. "Perfect answer, you are mine now."

Even with all of my abundant wetness, he had a hard time sliding it all the way home. "Hell, Emma. If I had known you'd feel like this, I wouldn't have let you go," Bass muttered as he took hold of my hips and forcefully took me harder, filling me to the brim. I felt the sting of my pussy being ripped apart and stretched open painfully, but the overwhelming ecstasy it gave me in return was breathtaking.

"Open your eyes and look ahead. Don't ever tear your eyes away until we're done." I nodded and opened my eyes. The Aegean Sea was dark and foreboding. Black thick clouds rumbled and terrifying bolts of lightning lit up the sky. The thunderstorm was dangerous and beautiful; Mother Nature at her finest. My body shook when Bass started to pound his cock into me harder. I cried out when he slapped my ass, _hard_. "Keep staring at the tumultuous, thrilling beauty of nature in its rawest, pure, majestic form. This is what you do to me. You are like a thunderstorm. This is how I feel about you."

I sobbed in pleasure when Bass turned manic and furious. Fuck! He was monstrous. Every stroke was a new hit of sensation. It was madness, but it still wasn't enough.

"Bass, I'm losing it here. Just fucking finish me off already because I don't think I can take this anymore!"

Without a word, he placed his hand around the back of my neck, gave me one last powerful thrust and shattered me. I screamed as my orgasm annihilated me. My body took what he gave until he couldn't hold off any longer. I clenched my muscles to heighten his orgasm more as he shot his load inside my womb. My body quivered when his cock pulsated inside of me. _Wow,_ that was mind-altering sex. I couldn't believe I had passed this up.

He kissed my shoulder and pulled out. I happily sagged against him as he carried me inside the house and went straight to my bedroom. Standing, he grabbed a towel and dried me first, then him.

"I know we should shower, but I want to be close to you for a little bit longer." He pulled me towards the bed, his big arms enveloped me.

"Bass?" I've been dying to know.

"Hmm?" He responded, holding me tighter.

"What did you mean when you said you wouldn't have let me go?"

His fingers kept stroking the side of my arm, I loved being with him. "That last night in my bed, I wanted to tighten my arms around you and never let you leave me."

HUH? "What do you mean? You were asleep." I even remember saying he was in a deep coma-like sleep. I remembered it clearly... like it had just happened yesterday.

"I wasn't."

No fucking way. Was he serious? "You looked like you were asleep."

"I'm an actor, Emma." Damn.

"But why did you let me go then, if you clearly didn't want to?"

He took a while responding. I listened to his heartbeat while I waited. "You needed me to let go of you at the time. Carter was in your life, but even with or without him, I felt that you needed to find your own happiness. I didn't want to sacrifice your happiness for my own." _Shit. What does any of that mean? That he cares for me... a lot?_

"So... a thunderstorm, huh? I don't know how to take that."

Bass kissed the back of my earlobe. "You simply struck me without warning." I melted and burned like hot molten lava. He started nipping my neck as he rolled his body on top of mine.

"I want you again, Bass," I moaned as I opened my legs to accommodate him and guided his semi-aroused cock into my entrance.

"Emma," he whispered against my ear when his head penetrated me. I moaned at the sore, pleasurable feel.

He felt so... _so good!_

"Don't make me fall for you, Emma."

"You won't." I cried out when he entered me roughly. I glorified at the feel of him. Yes!

Bass started kissing the side of my face and my earlobe. Then he whispered, "What if it's already too late?"

# ~E~

"When feelings of abandonment and betrayal arise with a soul mate, they do not last. Once soul mates achieve an ultimate level of symbiosis and serenity with each other, it remains forever."

_~Linda Brady_

__

FOLLOW THE NEXT STORY IN FRAYED...ATTACHED BELOW. ENJOY!

# Frayed

### Trista

Book Two in The Torn Series Saga

# Frayed

(Torn Series)

* * *

**Pamela Ann**

**Frayed**

**Pamela Ann**

Copyright © 2013, By Pamela Ann

All Rights Reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without a written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

# Acknowledgments

To my amazing beta readers, Cami Hesnault, Dawn Martens, Tia Marie and Beck Sewell. I want to thank each and one of you incredible ladies for taking the time and effort to help me hone the book to its fullest potential. All of your input was substantial and I am more than grateful for all of your detailed feedback. Your love and support helped me through the writing process.

Mom, as always, you rock! Niko, I love you very much. To my brother, Lorenzo, I do appreciate your comical monstrosities, thank you. And to my sister, Amelia, thank you. I love you both dearly.

Lastly, to all of my readers, especially my Facebook dolls, Triple M'ers and Goodreads folks, I graciously express my heartfelt gratitude for all the support you've all shown. Thank you all for making my dreams into reality.
For those who loved with all of their hearts—got betrayed and left broken... _this is for you_.

# Prologue

If someone would have told me a year ago that my life would be irrevocably wrecked, I would've laughed in their face. You see, I was once a good-natured person. A fun-loving, devil-may-care woman, who laughed a lot and partied until the sun came up.

Yes, I was a party girl. Why? Because it was fun and I had a blast dancing and flirting with guys. Flirting was my thing.

_It was my specialty._

Even though I partied, kissed and sometimes ended up doing more with these guys, I never loved any of them. Do I have any qualms about falling in love? No, never that. I always wanted to fall in love, but none of the guys made it happen for me.

Well, at least none of the guys I kissed and hooked-up with, anyway.

That is, until Harry.

Harry was the perfect man.

Unfortunately, he was perfect for my cousin, Harry's wife, Becka, too.

_Yes_ , Harry's married... to my cousin.

Did I plan to fall madly in love with him? Never!

But it happened... and there was nothing I could do once it did. I was sucked into this unique world. A world where all I could ever do was follow where my heart would beat at a speedy, exhilarating rate.

I lived for Harry.

I breathed for Harry.

I _loved_ for Harry.

Even though I knew having an affair with him was immoral and, without a doubt, scandalous, I didn't care. Nothing mattered then. No thought, rhyme or reason could deter me; _us_.

Once our lips touched, the flames were instantly ignited.

The fire was consuming, searing and hot. If I were a wiser person, I would have known that _fire_ —once it gets out of hand—cannot be controlled.

It _spreads_ , destroying everything it could reach and everything that was in its way.

It _devours_ all with _totality_.

And sometimes it causes _fatality_.

I could've prevented this devastation if I had not succumbed to the wills of my heart and body.

One kiss was all it took to destroy me.

One gargantuan mistake was all it took to end me.

A month ago, Harry killed me.

But he didn't know.

No one did.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Two

#...About a month ago...

### Trista

"Congratulations! You're going to be a new mommy!" The enthusiastic, middle-aged doctor announced. I sat there, immobilized and speechless as her words rang in my ears.

"Oh... _I am?_ " I whispered, wholly aghast. _Pregnant... with Harry's baby..._ The thought alone brought happy and sad tears into my eyes.

The doctor dimmed the lights before she started to prep me for the ultrasound. She was telling me a story about some pregnant woman, but I could barely hear her. Quite simply, I was distraught and horrifically panicked. When the doctor lifted my gown and exposed my belly, she kindly warned me that the gel would be a little cold. I moved my head to the side, away from the small screen, as the realization of what my thoughtless actions had borne with them. Before I knew it, the whole room was surrounded by a loud whooshing sound.

A heartbeat.

_My baby's heartbeat..._

"Let's, see. You're about thirteen weeks," The doctor continued as she started to point on the screen, telling me which part was what.

She pointed out the baby's head and told me what was developing at this stage. Curious, I made an effort to watch the tiny screen. I barely nodded at her while I stared blankly at the screen, seeing the tiny seed that was my baby, but really not seeing it. _How had this happened?_ We were always careful. Harry always wore protection. Every. Single. Time.

"Do you have any questions for me?" The jovial doctor asked, while she maneuvered around and studied the screen closely.

_Tons_ , I had so many to ask, but no answers for her to give. "I think you've explained everything," I responded flatly. This was the worst possible outcome of our affair. All the possible bad scenarios played in my head as the doctor did her own thing. The first one was Harry's reaction. The second one was the outcome of this pregnancy.

I barely registered what the doctor was talking about as she carefully cleaned my belly off and slowly pulled my gown back to order. While giving me some sort of pregnancy advice, she was jotting down a prescription for my pre-natal vitamins and whatever else she thought I needed. The doctor was rather oblivious to the horrified expression I have had ever since she announced the pregnancy less than an hour ago. When my period didn't come as scheduled, my intuition pointed towards stress, but never pregnancy.

I was about ready to leave, when the doctor immediately got up and handed me a few of the ultrasound pictures. "Here, I forgot to hand these to you. Be safe now and don't forget to stop by at the pharmacy to get your vitamins. I will see you some time next month at your next appointment, when you're in your second trimester." She smiled kindly at me, blind to the turmoil I was emotionally going through. _Could she not see the sadness in my eyes?_

I murmured my thanks without glancing at the pictures before leaving the room. My legs felt like jelly, numbed inside. With utmost determination, I huffed out a deep breath and started to walk out of the medical building. My off-white Mercedes SUV was parked closely. Once I was in the safe confines of my car, I summoned all of my energy to brave it out and look at the ultrasound photos.

The two by two black and white photos stunned me. My finger traced the tiny white form on the picture as tears gathered in my eyes again.

Harry and I were always careful.

_What the hell do I tell everyone, most especially my parents? This was going to be a big mess. A mistress with a baby. My mom will die if she finds out her first grandchild is going to be a bastard. She will say it and see it as such._

My thoughts ceased as I heard my phone ring.

Harry.

I wiped my tears away before I took the call. "Hey!" I tried to sound as normal as I could.

"I'm at the hotel. Where are you? I only have a few hours and I want to make use of those hours buried inside you." Harry tried to sound seductive, yet he failed miserably. He used this tone when he was stressed out. I knew for a fact that my cousin Becka was having a hard time with her pregnancy, and she always lashed out at him because of it.

"I'll be there in twenty. See you." I started the engine before I ended the call. For the entire ride, my thoughts provoked me.

Truth be told, I wasn't sure what Harry would really feel or think. Maybe when he's made his choice, maybe then, I can allow myself to think what I really feel about the whole pregnancy. Because as of right now, the only feeling I have is indifference—numbness.

I was meeting up with Harry in our usual hideout, in the Four Seasons cottage, always booked every two weeks for two nights. I used to count down the days until he was mine again. Before Becka got pregnant, I used to get two nights with him. In these nights, we were simply a man and a woman, but now, I only get a few hours a week, or a night here and there. I wasn't happy about it, but I didn't have a say in it. It's either I end it with him or stick to what he could offer me, and I always chose to be with him. Always.

It took me approximately twenty minutes to get to the hotel. Add another ten to park and walk towards the cottage. I took three calming deep breaths before my finger pushed on the buzzer and the door was opened after only a few seconds.

Harry stood there wearing his grey suit and I paused to drink him in. He looked polished and put together. He was about six feet tall, dark, slicked-back hair with chocolate eyes. His build was on the lean side and he had that roguish sex appeal.

"You're looking at me like you haven't eaten for days. I promise I will feed you, Trista." Harry laughed as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me thoroughly.

He was right, I was hungry for him. I showed him how much I hungered for him through my kiss. As I pressed my body against his, he made a deep growl against my lips. Harry swiftly pulled us inside without breaking lip contact. It was always like this.

Crazy hunger took me over. It was in charge of my body, and I ached to be with him and only him. He hastily used his foot to shut the door closed. I was moaning against him when he lowered us both to the foyer floor.

"Trista..." he grunted, still kissing me.

With one hand, he swiftly took care of his pants. I could hear the tear of the condom packet before he brashly lifted my skirt up. His fingers hooked the sides of my thong, pushing it to the side and I buckled when he parted my wet folds; stroking me passionately. It took him less than a minute of foreplay before he was sliding inside me. Harry kept saying my name each time his cock entered me. His lovemaking was hard and fast; like he knew our time was running out and he wanted to get as much as he could from me.

"Harry!" I sobbed when I felt my release run through my body. On cue, he started to pummel me more. I felt him tense. After a few more hard rough strokes, he came.

He took my lips and kissed me a few more times. "I've missed you." He smiled at me with love in his eyes. With the back of his finger, he gently stroked my cheek.

_I love him so fucking much it hurts._

I think my heart started to crack from then on. That smile he usually gave me—the kind where it showed how much I meant to him—might be the last he'll ever give me after I tell him the news.

I lovingly looked at him and smiled back. "I've missed you, too... very much." I started to get choked up, knowing what I was about to tell him would make or break us. Yet, I knew I had to. I had to tell him the lowdown of what happened at the doctor's office.

Harry softly chuckled against my neck before he started kissing it. He was still buried deep in me, but it was obvious that he was starting to get hard again. I was ready for another round, always. "We have to talk... it's very important..." I trailed off as he started to slide in and out of me. Fuck, he felt so good.

"Can it wait until after we finish? I can't help it if I always want you. You're so beautiful, baby." His hand found my breasts, roughly caressing them. "I love these," he rasped out as he started to pick up his pace. "I love you." He growled as he went in and out of me.

My betraying body responded to his lovemaking, but I knew I had to do it now. Although the idea of waiting appealed more, I simply couldn't wait to spill the news any longer. I needed to tell someone, now. "It can't wait... I have to tell you..." I paused and shut my eyes, but Harry seemed to be too occupied with his rapid strokes to hear me. "I'm... pregnant." I waited a few more seconds for it to dawn on him, but he was still fucking me.

Did he not hear me at all? Goodness gracious!

"I'm thirteen weeks pregnant!" I yelled at him, loud enough for him to hear me through his labored pants and grunts. That did get his attention.

"For fuck sake, are you serious?" Harry looked incredulous.

_Dead serious_. _Like I would joke about something like being pregnant?_ _Fucktard!_

"Yeah, because I have a sick sense of humor, idiot. Of course I'm serious!" I spat back at him. He immediately looked stony before he pulled out of me and got up, pacing. As he paced he took care of the condom, throwing it in the trash bin.

"Fuck! Fuck! Becka is pregnant! You're pregnant! Fuck! Becka will kill me. Shit, your entire family will murder me—your father will be the one to stab me first!" He purposely knocked the vase on the foyer's table over before he started to cuss and pace about again.

Granted, I expected him to freak out, though I didn't see him acting all paranoid. I gathered myself up and fixed my clothes before I walked to where he stood. He needed my reassurance and I needed him to calm down before we could discuss things like rational adults.

"You have to get rid of it. There's no other way to fix this and solve the problem. That baby will be the end of me— _end of us_ —and my marriage."

Yeah, I was always the second place. I knew that, but it hurt every time he chose to remind me. "What if I want to keep it? We could move and live somewhere, just you and me, and our baby." I suggested mildly. The idea never occurred to me before... but now that I think about it, it made perfect sense. I wanted to be with him. I loved him without a doubt, I'd give up everything just to be with him.

Harry glared at me like I suggested the most horrid thing. His dark eyes sliced me in two. "Don't be stupid! I will be taken out of my parents will if I do. I stand to lose more than you do." He inched closer to me, eyes hard. "Prove this love you speak so highly of, Trista. If you truly do love me, you will do this for your family and me. I will arrange everything. All I need you to do is say yes."

I stood there frozen. Torn between my child and the man I loved, but deep down, I knew he had a point. My family would disown me. Or, they would hate me and I would never live it down for the rest of my life. The shame, the humiliation that it would bring to my family, would be hard to endure. Harry impregnated cousins, a few months apart. How does one fathom the idea? It was inconceivable.

"Give me a few more days to think about it," I murmured not looking at him.

My response got me another menacing glare. "You have until Sunday. I will have everything set up the following day to get rid of it. This is fucking serious, Trista. Think of Becka and what this will do to her. If it comes down to it, I will choose my marriage over this. I never wanted this to end, but it's inevitable now." Harry walked off towards where he left his pants in the foyer. He quickly dressed and stood a few feet behind me.

"No, don't say that..." I was crumbling inside, but he didn't seem to care. My tears flowed and I couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. I was beyond caring. I wanted to scream, yell and reason with him, but his cold-hearted demeanor stopped me. He already made his point clear. His family comes first. I simply couldn't compete with that.

"Expect my call on Sunday. I will not speak to you until then." Harry stood there for another minute before he sighed and walked out of the cottage.

I felt betrayed by him. I understood what I needed to do, but what I couldn't fathom was his harsh treatment of me. For the very first time, I really felt like a mistress. Harry's sex puppet, something to be used and abused until it was time to be thrown out.

I had no clue how long I stood there, silently crying. There was no one to blame except me. Being a mistress was always a disadvantage. Every woman knew that. It didn't stop me, though. The temptation was too hard to resist. Harry's seduction was difficult to refuse.

At the end of it all, I stood at the losing end. No matter how you looked at it, I was irrevocably defeated.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Three

# Present

### Trista

"Carter and I will be there in thirty. You better get your stinky ass ready!" Lindsey enthusiastically spoke on the other end.

"Yes, Lindsey, anything else?"

"Yes, doll. Bring your fantabulous self because we're going to Greece to frolic with hot European men. See ya!" Lindsey hung up the phone, but I held it against my ear for another minute before I placed it on the table.

I'm all packed and ready.

This trip was planned a month ago, before Emma left to shoot a film in some private Greek Island. I really was ecstatic that Emma was doing her thing and a month ago, nothing could've stopped me from going to see one of my best friends.

_But that was a month ago._ A couple of days after Emma left, my life crumbled before me.

When I heard a knock on the door, I distractedly went for it. I was momentarily taken aback when I saw Carter standing outside looking fresh out of the shower. "So you're taking us to LAX, huh?" I asked while I studied his frowning expression. I liked Carter... back before he broke Emma's heart.

"Yup, where's your luggage, Tris?" He asked glancing about the living room when I let him in.

"It's in my bedroom. Lemme go get it really quick." I strode inside my room and was surprised that Carter followed me.

Okay. I paused and looked at the infamous playboy again. He was acting rather odd. What gives?

"I need a favor," Carter murmured out of the blue.

_I knew it!_ He wouldn't have gone all the way in my room if he didn't need something. This favor would be about Emma. This douche bag, womanizing jerk wants something and I sure as hell won't do it. He had caused enough damage to my friend. "If this is about Emma, you can forget about it, Carter. Let her go. You've done enough damaging shit."

He suddenly looked offended at my unexpected retort. Possibly because I was never mean to him, but when he cheated on my friend in the nastiest way possible, that's where I drew the line.

Carter handed me a white gift bag. "Tris, you know I would never ask you if this wasn't so important. I love her and I just want you to give this to her."

"Carter, I don't know about this." I bit my lip as I eyed the item he was holding. Whatever was in it, it contained bad juju.

He exhaled a breath as he gripped the bag. "Promise, I will owe you one, Tris. Just this once, that's all I ask." Carter suddenly looked a little unsure. I saw him run his fingers through his hair a few times.

Well, maybe he should've thought it through before he decided to get down and do the nasty with Cece, Amanda and her trio of skankerettes. "Let it go, Carter. Emma's doing her thing now. Besides, I don't want to be on Bass Cole's bad side, either. I mean they live in the same house... they may even be sharing the same room. Why would I risk that? What's in the bag anyway?"

Carter's eyes bulged out. "Live in the same place?" He screeched. "FUCK! Fuck! Mother Fucker!"

Yeah, buddy, that would be you aiming at yourself.

Sighing, I moved towards my table and got my tote. "Let's go."

When I spun around, I was surprised to see Carter... a little messed up? The hurt was so obvious on his face, I suddenly felt bad for him. "Carter?" I threw an empty water bottle at his direction.

It went past him. Though his eyes flicked toward it, it didn't change his state. I huffed out loud and waited for him to snap out of his idiotic, trance-like state. I should be a little considerate. After all, hadn't I gone through the same crap four weeks ago? Yeah, Carter and I are in the same boat on this one. I guess I should be a _little_ sympathetic.

We were both, after all, cheaters.

Funny, how admitting that now doesn't hurt any longer. I felt numb inside. I hoped being around my friends would help me get through the hell that I made for myself. How I wished Amber was here. She would help lighten up the mood, her dumbass jokes always worked like charm.

"Do you think Bass will be successful this time?" Carter asked, breaking my own thoughts.

"Carter, LISTEN. The last time... Emma was super, hella, head-over-heels in love with you. After that kinky debauchery you pulled, though, I can't answer that. Bass and Emma are like fireworks. They spark up and explode. Do you honestly think for a second that for the last month nothing's been going on? Come on, dude. You're smarter than that."

"Fireworks... how would you describe Em and me, then?" Carter looked up and his dark depths caught me off guard. Sure, I grew up with this idiot, BUT I admit... there are times I get caught off guard... speechless... when it comes to his hot-o-meter.

"You and Em were like a ticking time bomb... hot and explosive... but it has a limit."

"I got her back after Bass almost got to her. I can do it again." He sounded so sure of himself, too. Whatever, dude.

"Sure, _now_ , can we go? I feel weird doing heart to heart with you." That granted me a smile. He begged me again about the stupid gift. Blah.

"Fine! If shit hits the fan, I am blaming you, Carter! And you owe me BIG time."

Carter grinned at me sheepishly. "Thanks, Tris. I knew I could count on you."

"Whatever. Now move your tight ass out of my apartment before your crazy sister starts looking for us."

After five minutes, we were out of my place. Lindsey ran into my arms when she caught sight of me. "God! I have missed you, doll! Are you ready to rock and roll with the Greek gods?" Lindsey held me tightly, released me and pinched my cheeks.

I admit, seeing my friend again made me feel good inside. I needed some light inside the darkness that I was in. Even a flicker amidst the dark hole was enough to suffice.

Lindsey didn't say much until we were on the freeway. "What was that in the white paper bag?" she directed the question to her brother, who just happened to tense up at her unexpected inquiry. I was seated in the back, so I just sat back and watched the siblings interact. I was going to let Carter handle this shit. He was the one who brought the damn thing, not I.

"It was nothing, Linds. Stop prying." Carter answered her sharply, telling her that the subject was not open for discussion.

Like _that_ would really shut his sister up.

"Better be nothing, Carter. I don't think I need to mention it again that Emma is better off without you. You fucked up, five times in one go, bro. She's better off." Lindsey looked at his brother with a determined stare. Carter stuck to driving without glancing at her.

I was sure the man got the point. "Linds, that's enough. I think your brother knows the extent of his fucked-up-ness. We all give him shit for it." I managed to voice out. We were all protective of Emma. Even the guys that we were friends with are all giving Carter shit for it, too. He deserved what he got.

Carter gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. "Emma might be with Bass now, but how long will that last until he dumps her? If you guys think I'm dirt because I get tempted from all the girls that throw themselves at me, then imagine the kind of treatment a Hollywood actor gets. He will end up hurting her."

Lindsey snorted and shook her head. "Yeah, I get that. Emma gets that, too, but it depends on the guy. Bass might be a playboy like you, but he will definitely focus on our girl. He's _that_ kind of man, Carter."

_Yeah, just stab it where it hurts, chica._

Bass was the hottest piece of yumminess, but I agreed with what Lindsey had just said. If anyone saw how that golden boy looked at Emma—like he was seeing the sun for the first time—his eyes glowing in awe and fascination, they would see that he only had eyes for her. That same fire was alive in Emma's eyes, too. It was crazy to describe it like that, but that's how it was with them, honest. If you watch them long enough, you get burned from the heat they exude.

The awkward silence stretched out and I didn't want to ponder my own demons that were on a temporary leave in my mind. "Where's Brody?" I absentmindedly asked.

"Probably fucking someone Carter already plowed through." Lindsey paused, "if you need a run-through, let me update you. After Cece got deflowered by my dear brother. She had a threesome with Brody and Cooper. This all happened when we were in high school. That didn't change the fact that her venom expanded that far beyond that. Fucking gross bitch. You and your friends Carter... are seriously nasty. You need to get yourselves checked."

Carter snapped at those last words. "I can guarantee you that I'm clean through and through."

"I already knew about Carter and Cece," I murmured. Cece was in love with Carter and she didn't hesitate to grab the opportunity when Carter was drunk. Cece thought Carter would take her seriously afterwards, but when he treated her like nothing happened, Cece got desperate. She hooked up with Carter's friends to 'hurt' him, but it never worked. I was completely convinced that to this day, Cece was still obsessed with Carter.

Lindsey stabbed the radio button on and switched it to KIIS FM, not wanting to talk any longer. We rode quietly until we got to LAX.

With all of stuff out of the SUV, Carter rounded the car and gave me a hug first. "Don't forget to give her the present, please," he whispered in my ear, pleading. "Thank you. Take care and have fun, Tris." He murmured before kissing my forehead.

Carter then went over to his gloating sister and gave her a bear hug. "I feel like you're leaving me or something. Weird right? I'm going to miss your annoying butt, Baby Sis'." Carter pulled out a credit card from his wallet, handing it to Lindsey. "Here, shop your heart out. I don't want you to spend any of your money. Make sure you pay with this when you guys go to London and wherever else you guys are going."

That gesture sure made Lindsey happy. "Yay! You're the best! I love you, Big Bro' Man. Thank you!"

"I love you, too, Linds. Now you girls be careful and always stay safe. No going home with random men, got it? Or I'll haul both of your asses back home." Carter gave us one more hug before he started to back off and head back to where his car was.

We started to drag our luggage inside to check-in, but we heard him, he was yelling from his window. "Hey! Don't forget to tell Emma that I'm still crazy about her. Bye girls!"

We both rolled our eyes at him. "He's one hopeless man," Lindsey muttered, smiling.

It really was too bad that he cheated because he and Emma would've been great together. It's impossible to compete with Bass in the picture now, though. I mean, how would Carter win against a man who was so devoted to Emma? Bass took her seriously, and Carter simply did not.

All checked in and through the security check, we still had one hour to burn until boarding, so we were both seated with our eyes stuck on our iPads, reading, when my phone beeped.

_Was it him?_ He knew I was leaving today. It must be him. With my heart beating wildly against my chest, I checked. My heart sunk that it wasn't him, but I was a tad happy that it was Amber, instead.

**_Amber: Hi doll. So sorry I haven't been in communication. But I should be home in a month. All I have to do is go through a treatment facility in Phoenix. I don't know why it's that big of a deal. My parents didn't think it was, so I don't know why my grandmother is. Guess, I've really shaken the wrong matriarch this time, huh? It's my only chance to get back to school. Grandma won't let me go back until I finish. I will be checking out of the hospital tomorrow and will fly out there afterwards. Please don't call. I don't feel like talking, but I love and miss you guys._**

Hospital? "Fuck, what the hell happened!" I freaked out. My eyes reread the message again, just to make sure I got it right. It was still the same and I was left completely confused.

"What? What are you talking about?" Lindsey jumped at my sudden freak-out.

With tears in my eyes, I shoved the phone at her so she could read it herself. Her eyes quickly scanned it, "Oh, fuck! Damn it, Amber!" Lindsey stood up and I saw her press the call button. She started to pace until she got the voicemail. "Listen up, stop being a sissy and not taking any of our calls. We're all worried about you. I can't believe you always do this to us, each and every time. Damn it, we love you. Talk to us. Trista and I are leaving for Greece to visit Emma. Just in case you don't know, she's in a movie with Bass. Yeah, she's with him now, just in case you didn't know that, either. When you're done getting your shit together, come back home. You'll hear me bitch you out some more, but that should be expected. That doesn't mean that I don't love you. I bitch you out because I do. Over and out. Bye." Lindsey sunk back onto her seat and flicked my phone back to me.

"She's so fucked up. I feel helpless," she stared at the floor.

Heck yes, that woman was impossible. "I know, but we can't do much about that. All we can do is be there for her."

"Always. We're all she's got, besides her grandma." Lindsey clutched my hand and gave it a light squeeze.

Yes, things might always fall apart around us, yet Amber could always count on friends to be there for her.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Four

#...About a month ago...

### Trista

Those three days I had before the termination, I spent wallowing and pondering my situation. I declined all calls that went through my phone, including Emma and Lindsey's. I was not in the frame of mind to speak to either of them. Maybe because if I _did_ pick up one of their calls I would simply break down and I couldn't risk that.

No, I needed all my energy and focus on what was to come. I had to keep it all in and get it together. _I had to_. I deserved it. It was my cruel punishment for being a selfish slut. I only thought about what I wanted. Any guilt I felt towards my family, and most especially to Becka, I had pushed away and never thought of it again. Yeah, I deserved to be in this cruel sentence. Being a mistress bitch was never the answer to have a happy ever after, though I hadn't cared at the time.

Thinking about my pregnant cousin _now_ hurt even more. Becka was five years older than I. She's spoiled and gets whatever her little heart desires. She has a rotten personality and loves to demean people around her. She wants to be the only thing that matters, wherever she may be, and she never fails to make that point.

Ever since I was little, she would always make fun of me, most especially when it came to how I looked. Becka started to call me 'duckie' when I was about five years old. To this day, she still did. Her parents and her other two sisters, Brenda and Belle, followed suit. They made a light jest about it. On the outside, I would smile and pretend that it was fine. Deep inside, I was humiliated and embarrassed that I was ugly. The ugly duckling— _Duckie_.

My brother, Tristan used to defend me against their taunting, but my defender died when he was sixteen years old. A thrill seeker that thrived by living on the edge, he was surfing in the middle of a storm. The waves were violent and we were told that he fell from his board while he tried to ride one out, but it was too much for him to handle. When he fell, the waves kept pulling him down and it didn't take long for him to drown. Some onlookers said that they called for help, however it was already too late by the time that help got there. My brother was beyond saving when they pulled his body out of the ocean.

My parents barely recovered from that, and my family was never the same. My mom took it hard, and to this day, she still gets panic attacks. My father, crushed as he was, tried to communicate with me, but it was difficult and it didn't take long until the three of us retreated and started to deal with Tristan's loss all on our own. My father worked more, my mom needed therapy and pills, and I found solace in partying. I was a full-blown party girl by my junior year of high school.

It's been four years now since my brother's death, and nothing's changed. I'm still troubled, more so now.

I trapped myself in the cage of my reckless actions. The thought of my parents now gave me grief. My mother will never recover from this latest disaster, if she ever finds out. My grandmother and the rest of my relatives will positively disown me. They were the conservative sort and having Harry's baby would be criminal.

Karma. It hurts like a bitch when it lashes back at you.

Harry called mid-noon on Sunday. I had to strengthen my resolve before I picked up my phone to answer him. "Hello?"

"What's it to be, Trista?" he rushed out, straight to the point.

There was no mild mannered greeting or an inquiry about my condition... the Harry I fell in love with, the one who relentlessly chased me until I gave in to his advances, was gone. Hearing him this way made me feel absolutely horrible. "Go set the appointment." My voice wobbled when I spoke. My tears were endless.

"Good to know that you've come to your senses. I'm pleased. The private clinic is going to be in San Diego. I can't risk you running in to someone, so it has to be three hours away from home. I will text you once it's all confirmed." He didn't even wait for me to disagree or agree, he simply just hung up on me.

What a fucking mean, cold-hearted bastard! All I wanted was a little kindness from him, but I didn't even get that. I mattered so little to him. That knowledge made me feel like the naïve idiot that I really was. What happened to all of his declarations of love? Did it all go downhill the minute I told him I was carrying his seed as well?

After a few hours, Harry texted me the information as he had promised.

**_Appointment is for eleven in the morning. Don't eat anything past midnight. A car will pick you up at seven-thirty tomorrow. Be ready by then._**

Harry worked everything fast. If I hadn't been sure before, it was definitely crystal clear now that he certainly didn't want this kid with me.

For the entire afternoon, I stuck to the same spot. When nightfall came, I hadn't made a move. The entire apartment was dark, I didn't care for any light. Turning them on would only show the kind of rotten being that I was. Because I was rotten, filthy, despicable, deplorable, but most of all, I was completely abominable—a sinner with the large, scarlet letter. Yes, I didn't deserve the light, hence the darkened surroundings.

I sat in the dark, immobilized as I gripped my stomach with both arms. It was to be a sacrifice—for love—a sacrifice atop my own. For I knew, once this was all done, my soul was to be given up as well. It was an even exchange for the heinous crime that was to be done.

Without sound, I stood up and went to the unlit bathroom. I needed a hot bath. Once the water was halfway filled, I slowly took off my clothes. Naked, I slid inside the warm water carefully. Here, in this solemn place, I prayed for my unborn baby.

My palms stroked my bare stomach. My throat caught as I tried to speak. "I barely just found out about you... and a couple of hours after learning of your existence, I had to make drastic decisions. I'm so sorry, but your father needs you to sleep... forever. Forgive me." I cried harder as the realization crushed me again. "I'll sleep in the dark with you, my love... I'll stay by your side. You'll always have me there... with you."

Sleep eluded me that night. I ended up curling up in my bed, staring at the clock, until it was time for me to get ready. I wasn't wholly baffled with Harry's attitude. One thing that truly mattered to him was his inheritance. He was the first-born son, and he stood to get more compared to his brother Harold, who hated his brother with a passion The feeling was mutual, brotherly love was non-existent between the two. I'd met Harold a few times and, let me just say, that the man was quite vocal about what he really felt about his brother. I never quite got why those two didn't really get along, though.

Thinking about all the consequences that could unfold made me sick with dread, but what really gutted me was the unavoidable truth. I would be the one to face all of them, to be castigated and surely carry my family's scorn and loathing, if the affair ever got out. My pregnancy would definitely cause another string of explosions along the way. It would be like walking through a field of landmines. One explosion would lead to another, a never-ending chain of devastation. The damage would be severe... and I would have to wear the scars. Forever.

Even if the scars that I carried were only emotional, I would certainly be shrouded almost completely by them. It would surely tear me apart. Frayed, that's how this is going to leave me.

As promised, a hired, black-tinted Audi showed up promptly at seven-forty five in the morning. The driver greeted me, but I barely gave him a ghost of a smile.

I was dressed rather odd compared to my normal summer clothes. I needed something warm and comfy, so I chose loose sweatpants even though it's nearly June. I had a soft sweater and the largest sunglasses I could find on, too. I wanted to crawl and hide somewhere dark and cold, locking myself in until this could all just blow over.

I was simply scared, shitless.

A small part of me hoped that Harry was waiting for me inside the car, but that hope was immediately squashed as I peered into the depths of the car. I was going to have to do this all on my own. True, I could've had Lindsey with me, to be there and hold my hand, but I wasn't ready for anyone to know.

For the past few days, I endlessly thought of everything—the outcome and all the ugly scenarios my imagination could come up with. Although I _knew_ I was without a doubt pregnant, I still hadn't wrapped my mind around it completely. Everything seemed surreal for me. From Harry's intensely crass treatment, to his brash indifference, to this journey to the abortion clinic—it all felt like a bad nightmare—and a major part of me wished I was going to wake up soon.

Fairytales were made for people with rose-tinted glasses, though. Indeed, I never considered myself to be one of those. Granted, I may have deluded myself into believing I could be that kind of person when I realized I was completely and irreversibly in love with Harry. That surely didn't last long, however. I knew sooner or later, we would have to end. What I didn't expect was how short of a time we had because I simply wasn't ready to let him go. Even after how he treated me, I still loved that twit of a man.

I hadn't realized that we had arrived until the driver killed the engine and got out of the car to open the door for me. The private clinic screamed exclusive and expensive from their heavily tinted windows, to the fast approaching, well-dressed, aged man striding towards me in a charcoal suit. This place must've cost Harry a good penny. I guess fucking Harry was really going to play the scared little boy, running away with his balls between his legs.

The man introduced himself and held out his hand. I absently shook it, but didn't return his cheerful greeting. I just nodded and sent off a bitchy attitude. Hell, there was nothing to be happy about. I'm already mourning the loss of my unborn baby, and I suppose I was always going to, there was no need for me to pretend that it was all okay too.

The nameless man, since I was too uninterested to listen to his yapping and didn't catch his name, ushered me inside the tinted building. After a quick elevator ride, and a couple of doors, I was introduced to a female nurse. The sympathetic Latina woman, didn't have to say anything, I knew she understood and was empathetic about my situation from the slight touches she gave me. It was somewhere in between... _Be strong, no one is judging you..._ and _you're not alone, I'm here if you need to talk about your fears..._ Of course, I never uttered a word, but it was comforting to know all the same.

The nurse handed me papers to read through and sign. Afterwards, she instructed me to pee in one of those plastic cups and bring it back to her. I reluctantly did as she requested, handing her the half-pint size container with my fluids when I was done.

"Thank you, Trista. I will be sending this to the lab. I will be back quickly. Feel free to make yourself comfortable. We will get to your blood work once I get back." She gave me an easy smile before she left me alone in the room.

After ten minutes or so, she was back. She then prepped me to get four vials of blood out of my weak arm. I hated needles, but I didn't even wince when the big thick needle pricked me. I was beyond the point of numbness. If someone would have slapped me right now, I wouldn't even have felt it.

"All done, Hon'. I will be back after we get the results. It shouldn't be long now and then we can get started." The nurse gave me another warm smile before she exited the room.

The room was like any other gynecologist's exam room except it was painted in a nude tone with a mural on one wall of the San Diego coast. Soft sounds of Debussy filtered through the room. I knew that every single time I heard his music from now on, I would associate it with this memory. I would never enjoy his masterpieces like I used to.

I dug out my phone when I heard it vibrate.

Emma, it said.

Lately, she'd been calling constantly, and I knew I would have to pick up soon before she started calling Lindsey to check on me.

Out of the four of us, Emma was the lucky one. Why? Because she was not a fuck up like the rest of us. Lindsey was rattled by her parents' death at a young age, and from time to time, she would channel her frustration and sadness into lashing out at men—men like Brody or Cooper, usually. Amber had the most screwed up childhood, though. Her parents completely ignored her. I clearly remembered Amber's rebellion strategy, thinking that it would get her attention and the love that she craved so much, but it simply didn't work. Nothing did, it seemed, when it came to Mr. and Mrs. Harrison's only child; they remained blissfully unattached.

Emma was the easiest to talk to, compared to Lindsey and Amber. Emma had that kind of personality where it's easy to unload all of your skeletons because you knew she wouldn't breathe a word about it, and wouldn't dream of judging you over it, either. All good girls have an Achilles heel though, and hers was Carter Mason. Hopefully that stupid, lovey-dovey haze she was in was lifted off now that she knew what kind of man he was to her and she was starting to move on with Bass. Girlfriend deserved better than hotshot, cheating-ass Carter.

When my phone vibrated again, I wasn't a bit surprised that it was Emma again. I finally relented and took the call. "Hey, Doll. What's up?" I greeted her in a flat, cheerless tone. My voice mirrored what I felt, and what I was going through; I didn't have the energy to hide it.

"What's wrong? You sound horrible. You okay?" Emma was obviously worried, nothing new there, though hearing her familiar voice gave me strength.

"Not really. I'm just going through some difficult stuff. I know you're going to ask what, but I'm not ready to talk about it." My voice wobbled and the last few words came out in a whisper.

"Oh no, let me go call Linds. She'll be there quick—" Emma sounded like she was trying to help, but seeing Lindsey was definitely not one of the brightest ideas.

I panicked at her suggestion and cut her off before she got any more ideas. "No, please don't do that. I love that woman to death, but I want to be alone. I will catch up with you guys once we get there in a few weeks okay? I'm sorry I'm being rude, Em. It's just tough right now."

She gave a helpless sigh. "Fine, I respect that. Make sure you get on that plane, okay? This island will heal you of whatever demons you're going through. Trust me on this. Just get on that damn plane then we can weed through one problem at a time when you get here, _comprende?_ " I smiled when she said _comprende_. It was a Lindsey thing, and hearing Emma say it made me miss her even more.

I doubt there was a place on earth that could heal me, yet I didn't tell Emma that. Worrying her was the last thing I needed to do. "Even if I want to miss the flight, I don't think Lindsey will allow me. Three weeks will be here before we know it and I will be there, enjoying the Grecian sun with you." The picture I painted out did sound quite inviting, and being around my friends would surely lift my spirits up, whatever was left of them.

"Damn straight girly! I look forward to seeing both of my Dollfaces," Emma said with excitement, but she immediately paused. "Uh, I have something else to tell you... Carter's been emailing me on a daily basis. I haven't replied to any of it, but he stills sends them. These emails are mostly about how his day went and what not... do you think I should respond to any of them?"

The hellish fucker, when would he ever stop with Emma? "Listen up, Em... You're not obligated to reply to those emails. Ignore them and pretend they're not there. You will not open any of those emails and read them. You do get that this will fuck things up with Bass, right? I know you mentioned that you two aren't official—that you're in the 'getting to know each other' phase—but you should know better! Unless you're not into Bass, that is. Then go right ahead and read them." It's only been a few months since Carter and Emma broke up. It's clearly normal for her to still have a wee bit of affection towards her ex, but come on! Bass Cole was hot and heavy for her. I didn't want my friend to mess that up. Bass was the solid deal. Anyone with eyes would know that he was serious with Emma. That's just a simple fact.

"Seriously, I'm stupidly crazy about Bass. We've been inseparable. You're right; I will go on and ignore them. I've got to go. We have a bonfire going with some of the crew out on the beach. See you very soon, Babe. I love you and I'm only a phone call away." Emma spoke with utmost sincerity. It simply made me tear up.

I mumbled my thanks and told her that I loved her too before I hung up. It was a good thing that I decided to pick up when Emma called. As short as the phone call was, it had alleviated a tiny fraction of the dark shroud that blanketed me.

The door burst open and the nurse entered. She went to one of the cabinets and handed me a hospital gown. "Trista? Here's the gown for you to change in. I'll be taking you to the surgery room afterwards."

I took the gown away from her hands and stood up. "Okay," I murmured quietly, before I went inside the bathroom. I changed into my hospital garb on autopilot. When I emerged from the bathroom, the nurse was still there, patiently waiting for me.

"You can leave your things here. Everything is secure, so you don't have to worry about your items being stolen." She held the door open for me and I stepped out of the room.

The well-lit hallway reminded me of being in a movie where the person was heading for a death penalty execution, sterile and cold. A few more turns and a corridor later, I finally arrived in the surgery room. Positioned in the middle of the bright room was the "execution" table. The medical staff met me cordially before a female doctor greeted me and from then on, things happened quickly.

I was instructed to get on the daunting surgical table while they started preparing everything. As soon as I laid down, I immediately closed my eyes and tried to drown out the sound of everyone. Only opening them when the doctor addressed me, "Trista? This procedure will be very quick. It's going to be over before you know it. How are you feeling?" The doctor's kind eyes probed into me.

I blinked back a few times before I responded to her question. "I've been better." If I really had a choice, I would've stayed mum and ignored her completely, but heck, she was my doctor, I was obligated to respond.

A nurse tapped my arm and searched for a vein to prick a needle into. "We're going to give you something to sedate you." The doctor smiled down at me before she nodded towards the nurse, which I took as a signal to start injecting me with the sedative.

"How are we feeling? Still good?" the doctor asked me again after the nurse finished with my arm. I gave her a small nod, deciding to not really talk if I didn't need to.

I saw her nod her head again and I heard some stuff being carted towards us. The doctor then started shooting questions at me. I suppose it was a strategy to distract me from what's really going on around me. _What did you major in? What do you want to be? Do you like the beach? Do you like Sea World?_ I mumbled my replies to all of her mild, pseudo-interrogation, questions. She kept on going until I thought I couldn't stand it anymore, then everything started to get blurry. Her voice had begun to sound like she was speaking through a glass wall as my senses started to decline quickly. The noisy background heightened before my lids drooped low and shut completely, the noise fading right along with my consciousness. Darkness swallowed me whole. Silence filled me.

I woke up disoriented and slightly drugged as I took in my surroundings. I might've grunted a bit since a nurse immediately had begun seeing to me.

"How are you feeling, dear? When you're feeling a little stronger, we have tea and crackers for you to nibble on. Do you need some water?" the nurse checked on my vitals as she went along asking questions.

"No, I'm okay." I spoke with a dry mouth and explicit tightness in my chest. _It was done..._ no more... pregnancy.

"Sleep some more. You did great, Trista. I will be back to check on you shortly." The nurse gave me a pleasant smile before she took hold of my hand for some type of affection. It was a comforting gesture that I appreciated greatly.

Even in my drugged stupor, sleep didn't come again. I laid in the silence of the room, my mind taking stock of the minute that slipped away. It took the nurse exactly an hour until she came by again with the promised tea and crackers.

"Thank you," I murmured as my hand reached out for the tea. It shook slightly as I brought it to my lips. The nurse sat next to me as I finished the snack she had brought, silently giving me comfort with her presence. I had the impression it was mandatory to eat them since we were barred from eating anything the night before and because of the blood loss from the procedure.

Before I checked-out of the private clinic, the nurse gave me a year's supply of birth control pills, condoms and was told to get myself checked three weeks later to make sure my uterus was intact and not scarred from the procedure. I bravely bid her goodbye before I left the place.

The driver helped me to get inside the car, once I was comfortably seated, I heard him clear his throat. "Ms. Stevens, I was told to give you this." The driver handed me a letter.

I dared not to open it until I reached my place. I knew what it was, though. It was Harry's goodbye. The idiot wasn't brave enough to come and see me through this ordeal. He wasn't courageous enough to face me in person to end our affair, either. The letter was the best he could muster.

After the three-hour jaunt, I was finally back at my place. My fingers were fumbling as I tried to open the small piece of paper that held my life, my love. My eyes scanned the letter, but all I could see were the words, _I'm sorry to do this, but this has to end_.

My fears were right. I knew it was coming and yet I couldn't bring myself to really believe it. Now here it was, in bold lettering. With shaky legs and in a trancelike state, I sought the toilet. Something recoiled in my stomach and I tried to wretch all of it out, but nothing came. I sadly laughed about it as tears flowed. "I'm not even granted some release from the pain." Torture me some more, karma. Give me all you've got until all the fight's left me.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Five

# Present

### Trista

We arrived in Aspasia mid-afternoon on a Tuesday. Lindsey look well rested since she slept most of the flight from LA to London, and another few more hours from London to Athens. I was glad she was wide-awake during our short Cessna flight from Athens to Aspasia. I didn't sleep a wink on either flight since it had been impossible. I was left alone with my thoughts, which liberally played havoc with my sanity, so having Lindsey final awake during the last leg of our journey had been a relief.

I heard Lindsey make an excited squeal. "Man, Emma wasn't kidding about these pimped out golf carts." I saw her greet the driver and shake his hand. The young Greek male looked enthralled but a bit shy about it. I walked over to the cart and hopped inside.

Lindsey was busy talking to the man. _How long have you worked here? How old are you? Do you watch when they start filming?_ She kept going on and on about everything. That's Lindsey for you.

Okay, I admit that the island was absolutely gorgeous, and that I am a wee bit excited to be spending a month here. The beautiful Aegean Sea was breathtaking to look at. The soft clean breeze that went along with the view helped ease some of my tension.

From the looks of it, this private island was well equipped with everything. The lavish design and architecture showed understated elegance. It was modern-meets-old-school-Mediterranean-style.

When the driver stopped at the very last cottage on the lane, Linds and I immediately hopped out. "Your belongings will be delivered shortly. Miss Emma is still out filming, but someone is here to welcome you. Enjoy your stay in Aspasia. More importantly, have a lot of fun in Greece. You have never seen true beauty until you've seen Greece." The young man grinned at us and gave us a nod before he left.

"Oh, God! I think I really love the idea of being friends with a celebrity now!" Lindsey announced gleefully before she strode towards the cottage and pushed the buzzer. I was about to respond to her statement with some smartass remark, but the door was yanked open by a guy who was only wearing beach shorts and nothing more. Ripped, tanned muscles, up close and personal was such a heady thing. His hazel eyes looked amused as he watched both of our faces. "I'm Taylor Montgomery, Bass's friend. Come on in. They should be here in a couple hours or so."

Lindsey held out her hand. "Lindsey, Emma's best friend." Taylor jovially shook it, smiling down at her. She then pointed her thumb at me. "This is Trista, second in command."

I wanted to roll my eyes at her statement but refrained from doing so. "Second in command of what?" Taylor inquired as he smiled down at me. His eyes twinkled mischievously.

Now, why wasn't I surprised that Bass Cole's best friend was another version of him? True, Bass rocked his own hotness planet, but this Taylor dude was not far off. He could be the moon of that hotness planet. Bass was... well, just Bass... but this dude was sculpted more and it was topped off with a pretty face. In what sense? You couldn't find a single fault with his facial features, that's what. Not like I could find any with Bass, but there was just something more to his friend.

"Top secret girly protocols." Lindsey started to stroll towards the living room, leaving me with Mister Pretty.

"Are you an actor, too?" I asked while I followed Lindsey inside.

Taylor gave a light chuckle before he shook his head. "Nah, nothing like that, though I model from time to time. I'm a law student, actually."

I perked up from his response. _Mister pretty boy is loaded with legal mumbo jumbo, interesting mix. I definitely didn't see that one coming._ He looked like he wanted to chat some more, but I wasn't up for it. He and Lindsey could do that without me. "Do you know which rooms are available? I want to rest for now."

Lindsey immediately spun around from the wide-open sliding doors. "Oh boo! Come on, we're in Greece and you want to rest? I'm only going to let you off if you promise to join us once Emma and Bass come back, comprende?" she pouted while folding her hands underneath her breasts, making them pop out more.

I smirked. One thing I admired about my childhood best friend, Lindsey, was her power to use her body like a weapon. It came naturally to her, but when she's on a hell bent mission, that shit is absolutely lethal—a definite must see. Just ask all the fallen, besotted men. It was never a wonder to me why Cece hated her guts—bitch hated Emma, too. I had reservations with Cece before, but she declared war when she and the skankerette club betrayed Emma _that_ way.

"Yes, Miss Nazi, I hear you loud and clear." I genuinely smiled back at my friend, a real smile after weeks of not having one. Lindsey blew me kisses before she took her wedge sandals off and went out on the patio. _She_ certainly was not going to waste any time enjoying her heart out of Greece.

I made a quick glance at the man close to me, who stood confidently like a goddamned gladiator, taking in his features once again. Taylor Montgomery was your typical pretty boy. Blonde hair with hazel eyes, tanned skin, awesome six-pack, cherry-red lips and facial features that could easily make other people jealous.

Taylor cleared his throat and gestured towards the other end of the hall, breaking my thoughts. "Bass will be sleeping in Emma's room since he gave me his. There's two more available, so you get first dibs." he played host and gestured towards the other two oak doors on the left.

I didn't even bother checking out the rooms. I picked the last one and strode towards it. Surprise caught me when Taylor came up and managed to open the door before I did. _How chivalrous of him_. I murmured my thanks and strode inside the room, checking it out.

"Just in case you can't nap, there's a nice alcove half a mile from here. There are also a few taverns and a tiny fishing village if you walk towards your left. The family that owns the island have their own people, I guess. It's a pretty tight-knit community. You'll like it here." Taylor stood against the door, his face animated.

Okay, right on. _Could he shoo himself out now?_

"Great, thanks for the deets. I'll see you later." I know my dry attitude didn't match the earthy, light atmosphere of this place, but it was impossible to let go of my dark shackles. They're there and I was bonded to them.

I was glad when he took the cue and bid me goodbye. _I guess that smart brain really did work_ , I mused darkly. I looked around my room and felt right at home. The light blue and white color schematics worked and blended perfectly, along with the wide windows and the rustic accented furniture.

I placed my purse on the cushioned seat and started to take my clothes off. With only my underwear on, I slid inside the bed. The instant my head hit the pillow, my brain—for the very first time in a month—shutdown completely.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Six

# Trista

I woke up when I heard Emma's shrieking laughter. "Get in the shower now, woman! You can't tease me like that and expect to get away from it." I could hear Bass laugh from the hallway. I could also make out Emma trying to hush him, but Bass only growled and I suppose he picked her up since Emma sounded out of breath.

"Put me down!" A few heightened giggles, a light slam of the door, the house became quiet again.

I shifted on my side and smiled at the thought of them. Those two were crazy about each other. I'm glad that she'd stopped taking notice of Carter's emails, but who am I really to say? If Harry asked me back again, I would most likely think about it for a few seconds and say _yes_. I admit, it's beyond pitiful, but the heart wants what it wants. It doesn't _think_ for you, nor does it make decisions for you. It only beats like a drumroll, marching you toward the person who took your heart.

It's deplorable to even think of _him_ after all that's happened, yet here I was, thinking of him, wondering if he's thinking of me, too.

Languidly, I got out of bed and looked outside. It was dusky outside, and I could hear the light, chirpy sounds of cicadas. _Beautiful_ , I thought as I closed my eyes and smelled the pleasing mixture of sea, fresh air and heady blooms. After a good five minutes of appreciating the view, I strode towards the light switch. I was surprised to find my luggage next to the door. Instead of going through it, I went to grab my phone inside my purse. There were still no messages or phone calls from Harry. I guess he really meant it when he said he will _try_ to cut me out of his life. _Well, good for him_ , I thought dastardly. I'm the one who went through the traumatizing shit and was treated like a piece of ass. Ah, great, just mighty, fucking great.

Dejected, I opened my luggage and immediately gathered everything I needed and headed for the shower. _Life goes on_ , with or without me. I best snap out of it before it forgets that I exist. I've been out of it long enough... maybe.

After a quick dry of my hair and light make-up, I declared myself ready. I wore a short, pistachio-colored, cotton dress and jewel encrusted, flat sandals. It was light and perfect for beach ambiance. I stared back at my reflection, a little unsure. "Happy face, Trista Stevens! Fucking put on your happy face!"

When I strode out of my room, I saw Emma and Taylor outside, laughing and drinking together. When Emma's eyes saw me walk towards them, she immediately got up and gave me a tight, I-miss-you-so-much, kind of hug. I hugged her back with the same intensity.

"So, so happy to see you again, Tris!" Emma exclaimed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"It really is great to see you, too, Boo," I said, and meant every word. Emma guided me to one of the rattan, chaise lounges, across from the shirtless Taylor. "Going to get you something to drink, b-r-b. Lindsey's in the kitchen and, as you can see, Bass is over there on the phone." Emma pointed towards her man, who was well engrossed in a conversation, also not wearing a shirt. He was muscular perfection at its finest. _What's up with these fellas not wearing any shirts?_ It was a total mind-fuck to all the girly hormones around the perimeter.

The setting they had out here was impressively awesome. Outdoor bed, dining tables and chairs, but what I really loved was the large table around the chaise lounges. It had a Middle Eastern feel, where they shared their meals and broke bread amongst trusted folks. Complete with dim lighting and lit candles scattered about, it was purely soul-lifting and therapeutic. "They ordered dinner from the villa's kitchen. It should arrive soon. How was your nap?" Taylor eyed me casually.

"Good, thank you." I politely replied. Curiosity won out and I blurted, "Is there a _Who's Got the Best Six-Pack Competition_ around here that I should know about?" Taylor barked out a loud laugh. It was deep, throaty, and very manly. It was the opposite of Harry's polished, restrained and practiced one.

"Why do you ask? Does it offend, or please you?" Taylor smiled at me before he took a long gulp of his beer.

My eyes instantly darted towards his neck where his Adam's apple was bobbing up and down, mesmerizing me for a mere second. Taylor caught me staring at him, but I didn't even blush or stand down from his penetrating gaze. I'm sure _pretty boy_ was used to this kind of attention. Sure, he may be good-looking—to some—but he's not my type, no matter how much I may enjoy ogling him. "Honestly, it doesn't offend or please me at all. You could say that I'm indifferent about it."

That caught his attention. "Even the ever-drooled over Bass Cole doesn't affect you?" Taylor looked pretty much entertained.

Okay, maybe not Bass. Honest to God I don't know a living soul who doesn't have the hots for him. Not one. "I think it's already a given how the entire universe sees him. I'm not immune to it, no one is."

Taylor leaned over and studied my face with such concentration. To me, it looked like he was trying to read me, or better yet, read my mind. "Is this your subtle way of telling me that you don't find me attractive?"

Damn it, he's pretty forward, too. Hmmm! "I wasn't trying to tell you anything, but, to answer your question, no, you're not my type."

Taylor's face lit up with a devilish grin. "Women with excess baggage are unattractive to me. Good to know that we have something in common." He then stood up and saluted his bottle at me before spinning around and heading towards Bass.

Staggered speechless, I stared after his form. _What the flying FUCK was that? How the Hell would he know that I have excess baggage? Do I have a fucking tattooed sign on my forehead or something?_

"Uh-oh, looks like you influenced Trista, Lindsey!" Emma chided Lindsey as they approached me with a tray of assorted alcoholic drinks.

My eyes happily took in all the amazing concoctions as Emma placed the tray on the table. Lindsey and Emma then settled on separate lounge chairs. "This is why girlfriends are the best! You can always count on them to cheer up a down and out friend," I happily said, as my hand grabbed a martini glass with a bright blue liquid in it. Now, if this drink would only turn out to be an AMF (Adios Mother Fucker), I would be an even happier woman. The smile that stretched across my lips was absolutely genuine as it turned out that it was! _It was time to get back on boozeville._

"I'm taking it that Horrible Harry is no more?" Lindsey asked while Emma and I took a sip of our drinks. "You used to be like this when there was trouble in paradise with him, but now there's a dark edge to it. That can only mean one thing, you guys are kaput."

Crap, Lindsey. She's too damn observant. This was why it was hard to open up to her, because she tends to just railroad everything and get to the point. She doesn't stall or prance around the subject. I love her like a sister, but at certain times, Lindsey could be scary as fuck. I took another gulp of my AMF, tilting my head back and savoring the sweet, fiery burn of the menacing drink.

"I am officially no longer a mistress. No more secret rendezvous. No more scheduled fuck marathons. No more secret codes. Yep, there is no more Horrible Harry." I miserably downed my drink before releasing a cringing sigh. "You know what's the saddest part is? I wasn't ready for it to be over. The stupid bastard dumped me! Stupid, spineless, piece of shit dumped me. Hah! Joke's on me."

Lindsey growled. "I could hire a hitman to end that sorry worthless piece of shit!"

If I weren't so emotional right now, I would've rolled my eyes at her already. That statement was just so Lindsey!

Emma got up, sat next to me, and gave me a comforting hug. "That stupid, faithless prick didn't deserve your love, babe. It may not seem like it now because everything's still new. Give it time, you'll see what I mean."

Lindsey then came and joined our hug. "I've got a solution. We'll make that fucker pay." I was about to protest, but she shushed me. "Okay, I was kidding about hiring a hitman. Okay _, maybe_ I was serious, but only a little. I've got a brilliant plan, though. I could set him up, seduce him and make a video. I'll send it out to all of his associates, and shame him for life. With my face blurred, of course. It's the brightest plan, isn't it? It should teach the cheating cad not to fuck with my bitches!"

These were only a few examples why Lindsey was scary as fuck. I glanced at Emma when I heard her laugh. "Seriously, what's so funny? None of her 'solutions' were laughable. I'm not going to be a vengeful woman. I still love him for crying out loud."

Emma smiled at Lindsey, before she responded to my question. "Woman, I think it's a flawlessly, perfect plan. I know your cousin is pregnant, Tris, but you have to see that Harry might have a new mistress already or is looking for one again. You don't want that to happen to another woman, do you?"

Fuck! Was Harry capable of taking on another mistress? If I think back now, he was way too slick about everything. From setting our schedules for meeting to every single minute detail of our rendezvous, it was well thought out and fully orchestrated. _Only a man with practice and experience could achieve that without a glitch. The joke really was on me_. The whole fucking time that Harry was making me fall in love with him, showering me with presents and kisses, professing his crazy love for me, it was all a load of practiced crap!

To be blinded by love—to have had that love then taken advantage of—is the most humbling, the most eye-opening, the most gut-wrenching experience anyone can ever go through. _However, do I want to humiliate Harry and Becka?_ No, I don't.

"I'm not for it, but I'll keep it in mind, okay? Thank you for all the crazy support." I stated, with much more emphasis on the word crazy.

Lindsey simply pouted and went back to her spot. Imagine, if she was acting this way after only learning about Harry dumping me, I could easily see the she-devil incarnate in her coming out if I dropped the bomb about the terminated pregnancy. Definitely not a good idea right this instant!

Emma glanced to my left and welcomed a few people who brought out a feast with them, instructing them to place everything on the long, rectangular, glass table that was close to the lounges. Emma then took out three one hundred dollar bills and handed it to each of the men accordingly before they left us with the bazillion plates of food.

"Three hundred bucks for a tip, Em? Isn't that a little too much?" Lindsey asked as she checked out the platters filled with lobster, squid and shrimp dishes, as well as others I couldn't name. It all looked good, mouth-watering, dive in without care, scrumptiously good.

Emma bit her lip. "I ran out of Euros. Besides, Bass always tells me to tip bigger for people who serve you. It's mandatory that way. He says that these people work extra hard and they deserve to get more than they get per hour. Manual labor is harder work."

"Fucking Bass! Why does he have to be so perfect? You're such a lucky beeotch! Now, I would really be pissed off if you went back to my brother." Lindsey announced. Her voice held a serious tone to it.

_Really, did she have to bring up Carter when Bass was around?_

"Heck, I'm so invested in her love life. I would cut a bitch if they break-up. I think it's safe to say that we're all living our fantasy through you, Doll." All three of us laughed at that.

This was really refreshing. I felt somehow hopeful, again. I smiled and strode over to them. I eyed the gourmet food on the table with interest. Taking a shrimp by its tail, I took a luscious bite. _Fucking awesome_ , I savored the delicacy.

We all turned around when we heard male voices. "Trista, it's good to see you again." Bass came over and gave me a welcoming hug. Holy fuck, my heart started to palpitate. I gave him a smile after he released me from his arms.

"Good to see you, too, Bass. You still look sexy enough to give a woman a heart attack." Hell, I think I actually might have had one if he held me any longer.

"I did tell you my friend has got a fever for you." Bass laughed at Emma's response, who simply gave him a flirty wink.

Lindsey and Taylor started to get their plates and forked out food from the table. "Who wants wine?" Emma asked as she poured Bass a glass of red and handed it to him.

"Thanks, agápi̱ mou," Bass murmured and gave Emma a lingering kiss before they joined us.

"What the hell does that mean?" Lindsey wondered out loud, once we were settled on the circular table.

"It means my darling, my love, my beloved, my sweetheart." Taylor provided her with quick answers.

"Damn, I need to find me a Greek god," Lindsey said in between bites of her salad. I had no doubt in my mind that she would get her wish.

"I'll join you on that worthy campaign." I added as I high-fived Lindsey. Taylor simply shook his head, like we were both crazy. We truly were, he just didn't know it yet.

"Ooh, this ought to be exciting!" Emma cheerily eyed her girlfriends.

Bass simply grunted on the side, disbelieving. "Trying to ditch me already, Emma? You should try harder than that!" Bass passionately eyed her, a sensuous dashing smile plastered on his face.

_Ha! I bet this dude would never forget the day that Emma backpedaled and chose Carter over him._

Taylor choked on his food and started to cough, tapping his chest a few times before he cleared his throat. "You're hopeless, dude."

Maybe a good distraction was the best solution after all. Yeah, that's a BIG FAT _maybe_.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Seven

# Trista

The night progressed in a laidback, easy manner. After a few more drinks, we were all throwing jokes at each other. Though Taylor and I barely conversed with each other, I was hyper aware of him, though. Pretty boy got to me after that cutting remark. He was right about everything he had said, and I despised him for it.

Right about one in the morning, Emma and Lindsey started to yawn. "I'm going to bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow," Emma yawned. Bass got up with her and bid us all goodnight.

Taylor, Lindsey and I sat about quietly. We stared before us, across the vast expanse of the dark sea. "You guys want to check out Ios Island tomorrow?" Taylor broke the silence.

Lindsey stretched around her lounge, her fit body on display. It didn't surprise me that Taylor noticed. "Sure, what do you have in mind?" Lindsey sparked up, her exhaustion almost disappearing.

_Shit, two days with Taylor? That was so not a part of my vacation plan._

"Well, those two will be busy and won't be available until Saturday, anyway. We could go for a couple of days and come back here on Friday. Or we could meet them up in Athens on Saturday. A lot of the folks go back to the mainland during the weekend." Taylor looked at us, back and forth. I barely shrugged at him.

I refused to be on friendly terms with him and had gotten the feeling that he felt the same way. If anything, we were simply being civilized with each other.

"Does the plan sound cool to you, Tris? We could leave after lunch." Lindsey stood up. She covered her mouth when another yawn came.

I nodded in agreement because there was never any point in arguing when Lindsey was geared up to do something. "Yeah, sounds good."

It was then that Taylor's cellphone chirped. He glanced at it. A small frown crossed his pretty boy features. Lindsey was mumbling something about the trip tomorrow, but I kept my gaze on Taylor. He didn't seem pleased.

"Peace out, world. See you guys tomorrow." Lindsey gave a lazy wave and strode back inside the house.

"Going to make a call and turn in as well, goodnight." Taylor gave me a quick glance and disappeared inside.

_Fishy... did he make that excuse to avoid being left alone with me? Or to follow Lindsey inside?_

I stood up, shook my sandals off my feet, and strolled towards the beach. I made a pleasurable sigh when I felt the warmth of the sand in between my toes. I started to make my way to the shore and chose a spot to sit somewhere dry, but that was close enough to the water for my toes to reach the tide. Immediately, my thoughts dragged me back to my dark place. I wondered if I wouldn't be as miserable if Harry hadn't dropped me the way he did.

That feeling of betrayal, the gut-wrenching sensation of being bared open that leaves this massive deteriorating hole inside me, coming right back at me as soon as I am alone. It's like an infested monster. It eats, claws and pulls me in its shackles.

Tears flowed freely down my face and I couldn't be bothered to stop them. No matter how much I wanted to hate Harry, my heart wouldn't let me. I was angry and I wanted to kick his balls, but I didn't hate him. _Why can't I hate him? It would make life so much easier._

I didn't know how long I stared at the sea whilst crying my eyes out. This was the first time since Tristan's death that I had gone this close to the shore. I couldn't really do it before. I somehow felt like I was betraying my brother's memory if I allowed myself to enjoy the sea. Tristan was my champion, he looked out for me and in return, I worshipped my brother. He was the perfect son, and we all felt his loss. I missed him dearly. At times like these, I wished he was still alive to tell me what to do, to tell me that it'll be okay.

Life had a twisted and weird sense of humor. It makes you yearn for things, makes you fall in love, but it's diabolical because it never fails to betray you. It stabs you in the back when you're not anticipating it. Love kills. The love of surfing killed Tristan. Love killed me— _inside_. Death gnawed inside me, until there was nothing left except emptiness.

I got up and carefully dipped my foot in the water. I was delighted that it felt warm on my toes. Out of the blue, I had this crazy urge to go swimming. With my dress on, I paced until the water engulfed half of my body. I huffed out a brave sigh and dived underwater. It was murky as I swam deeper, until it was pitch black. I stopped swimming and slowly looked up to see if I could see any light from the moon, there was none. Darkness surrounded me. So, I swam a little further out until it was hard to continue. It was odd, but it gave me comfort.

The tight, heaviness of my chest told me that I needed to swim back up to get some air, but the darkness called upon me, soothing me, a complete balm to my shattered soul. It slowly pulled me downwards... _drawing me in_... calling me.

I suddenly felt at peace.

The nagging voices in my head stopped. They couldn't torture me anymore.

My mind shut off, rendering it blank. Empty. I think I formed a ghost of a smile before I utterly surrendered to it.

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Eight

# Taylor

_M egan_. My girlfriend of three years, now an ex, just gave me a missed call. She hung up after one ring. I didn't know what to make of it. She and I parted amicably—or so I thought. We both decided that it wasn't working out. That was six months ago.

Without much preamble, I dialed her number. After a few rings, I was sent to voicemail. I killed it before her recorded voice surfaced. _She's been doing this a lot—a few missed calls here and there for the last few months. Each time, she never follows through, never picks up any of my damn calls_. I hated how she liked these idiotic mind games! If she needed to speak to me about something, then why play phone-tag?

I suppose, this was Megan's subtle way to make me not forget her. As annoying as her technique was, it worked brilliantly. "Fucking women!" I grumbled as I chucked my phone on the bed.

It was late, but I didn't feel tired at all. I contemplated if I should just call it a night or join that hellcat of a woman outside on the patio. It doesn't take any Freudian ability to see how much baggage that woman carried. She might smile and laugh, but it was insincere. I saw glimpses of tortured pain in those eyes. Reading people was one thing I had always done well. I felt bad about what I said to her earlier, but she had to know I wasn't trying to hit on her or anything.

I may have thought about it for a second when my eyes first landed on her. Both girls were hot, but for some reason Trista intrigued me more. That instantly took a nosedive when I realized how guarded she was, though.

Wanting to take my mind off everyone, I looked for my iPad. I could do with a good suspense book to pass the time, but it was nowhere to be found. I suddenly remembered I left it on the outdoor canopy bed this afternoon. I stopped halfway in the living room when I saw Trista dive in the water with her clothes on. _Funny, I would have pegged that personality of hers to have gone naked. She had that bold sassiness to her. A confident woman who knew she was hot._

Breaking my thoughts of her, I went outside. It didn't take me long to find my iPad sitting where I left it earlier. I started to make way inside, but something compelled me to see her one more time before I hid in my room. My eyes scanned the dark moonlit sea but there was no movement anywhere. Fear started to spread through me as I started to walk towards the shore. The sea was still, not an ounce of movement anywhere—silent.

I dropped my iPad on the sand and hurriedly went in the water. Something told me that she hadn't planned to come out alive. _Fuck, I had no idea her shit ran that deep._ I prayed that I wasn't too late. It was hard to see anything as I got further in, but my determination didn't stop me. I dove in deeper, my eyes scanning the dark water. That was when I saw a glimmer of something ahead. I accelerated my speed and swam towards it. It could've been a fish, for all I knew, but it gave me hope. My heart lurched when my burning eyes found her slowly sinking to the bottom—eyes closed, auburn hair floating, arms lifeless. A diamond sparkled on her exposed neck.

I quickly got to her and wrapped one arm around her waist. I used my other free hand and both of my legs to propel us upwards. My lungs burst wildly when I reached the surface, gulping air into my chest, before I summoned all my strength and started to swim back to shore. When my toes touched sand, I gathered her in my arms and hurried to the shore.

I carefully placed her limp body on the sand, her head propped carefully on my folded knee. It was obvious that she wasn't breathing. Urgently, I placed my hand over the other and used the soles of my hands to apply pressure against her chest. I used enough pressure to compress her chest that it recoiled.

Panic started to flourish as each new try proved unsuccessful, but I squashed it like the pest that it was, opting instead for a different method to try and save her. My hands instantly parted her lips for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. After my third try, she slowly started to cough. Her body stiffly turned to the side and spat out water, coughing and wheezing it all out. My arm held her while my other hand tried to soothe her. Tears formed in her eyes when everything started to rush back to her.

"I got you. You're safe now," I gently murmured. My insides knotted at the sight of her. What had triggered this? She was a bit distant earlier, but it was clear that she enjoyed being surrounded by her friends.

Misery was imprinted on her pretty face. "You should've left me in there. You had no right!" Trista started to bawl. Hatred laced her voiced as she repeated her words, until her cries made it difficult for her to say them anymore.

Hearing her openly admit that she wanted to kill herself shifted something violent inside me. She was sitting up now, crying. My hand captured her chin and forced her to look at me. "Is yourself all you ever think about?" I savagely spat at her, my anger evident. "You're on vacation with your friends. One of them is filming a movie. If you had died tonight, the entire production would halt to investigate your death. Emma's career depends on this movie. Lindsey looks forward to her summer and yet, you decided to end your life _out here_ , jeopardizing the happiness of the people you claim to love. I call that selfish." It triggered the effect I hoped for. _Good_ , I thought. She needed to see sense. She _had_ to see sense.

"I didn't see it that way. I'm sorry—all I could think about is Harry. He left me..." Trista spoke in between sobs. "I love him so much, it's too painful... remembering is painful."

She wanted to end it all for a man who broke her heart. Why the hell do women _do_ this to themselves? I fucking don't get it. I just fucking can't.

"There is no man or woman out there worth ending your life for. You can't just fucking give up when life rattles you to the core. That's the coward's way out." When she didn't reply and simply carried on her sobbing, I took the initiative and lifted her soaked body off the sand. She started to protest, but I ignored her insistence to be put down. "You need to shower and sleep." I never even broke my pace, I just continued to head towards her room.

Once in the marbled bathroom, I gently placed her before me. She gasped when I lifted her dress off her body like as if I was taking advantage of her state. "What the hell are you doing?" Her arms instinctively covered her breasts. If this were under normal circumstances, I would find it amusing, but _it_ wasn't. I was beyond angry. There certainly was no pleasure found here.

I checked the water's temperature before I ordered her to jump in the shower. My annoyance jumped another notch when Trista glared at me. "Get in the damn shower, or I'll haul you in there myself. You choose." My voice was deadly and she knew I would carry out the threat if she wasn't going to comply.

"You stupid son of a mother fucker!" she outraged. I didn't leave the bathroom until I saw her get in it. I left the bathroom door slightly ajar, not willing to risk her life again. _I'm not going to take any chances this time. If I had to watch her like a hawk then so be it. Her broken heart be damned_.

I retreated for a quick shower of my own. I made sure to fetch a few bottled waters in the kitchen. I placed a couple on her side table. Before retreating to check her, my eyes darted at the luggage that sat openly on the floor. I freely browsed through it until I found her soft, cotton slip-on nightwear. "Are you done?" I called out after a few knocks on the bathroom door.

"I am."

My hand slipped inside the door and handed her the scrap of cloth. Her soft hands yanked it from me. That feisty gesture made me smirk. After a minute, she came out with towel-dried hair, wearing that skimpy, sexy, nightdress. My gaze moved away from her body. The man in me easily found her body attractive, but reason and propriety won over. Grabbing one of the bottled waters, I broke the lid open and handed it to her, not muttering anything. Trista gulped down half the bottle, thirsty as hell. "I'm going to bed. I, uh, thanks."

What was the proper reply to that? _You're welcome, as long as you don't do it again?_

I rounded the bed and gestured for her to get in. She cautiously slipped in the sheets, her green eyes not leaving mine. "Don't tell me you're planning to sleep here, too?" she asked when I didn't move to exit her room.

"I'd be more comfortable knowing that you're safe. The only way to achieve that is to sleep here." I briskly moved towards the other side of the bed. I slid inside the sheets and turned to my side. Sleep was out of the question tonight.

Trista was very still, not one movement came from her. After half an hour or so, I heard her speak. "You're not going to tell them, are you?" her voice was scratchy and wobbly at the same time.

I had never planned to, unless she made another attempt, but this woman needed to understand how massive this responsibility on my shoulders really was. "I won't, as long as you behave yourself. I will be keeping a close eye on you, just so we're clear." I was not going to have her die on my watch. That's inconceivable. I heard her reply a small 'yeah' after a few minutes.

Good, like I would accept anything other than her agreement.

"Taylor?" Trista asked again after a long stretch of silence.

My thoughts were still back in the events that took place a couple hours ago. The image of her pale, lifeless body floating—slowly sinking in the sea—played havoc in my mind. "Hmm?" I stayed put on my side. I was still extremely furious at her.

Her shallow breathing was pronounced. "I hadn't planned on it... all I wanted was to have a quick swim... but when I got underwater..." Trista paused. I could easily hear her swallow. She sounded like her actions had shocked her, too. "I remember the feeling of surrender... and I felt at peace about it."

If it were another guy in here with her, he would most likely coddle her and try to give little assurances, but I wasn't that kind of a man. I believed in fighting for reason, for truth, to free one's self from lies. Life was hard, so one must play hardball. Fight it tooth and nail. Courage, it's the best therapy to give oneself. "I may understand the full capacity of your situation, Trista, but you must see how cowardly your actions were. If a person gives up every time shit is thrown their way, the human race wouldn't have survived. You have to learn how to fight—physically, emotionally, mentally. Face it bravely, even if the pain is too great, the consequences too frightening. At the end of the day, the only thing that counts is how much you've made a difference—progress. Fighting it is progressive. Fighting is reason."

When I didn't hear her, I assumed she fell asleep. So, I shifted a little to get more comfortable and rolled on my back—arms folded behind my head, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"You know, for a pretty boy, you're insightful and sharp. I thought all your studying law talk, was well, all talk," she murmured, shifting on her side.

From my peripheral vision, I could see she was looking at me, but I didn't move from my current position. "They did tell you not to judge the book by its cover, right? Now be a good girl and sleep. The island of Ios awaits."

## Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Nine

# Trista

I was jolted awake when I heard a light slam of what sounded like the front door. It was probably Emma, off to work. My face contorted when a migraine gave me immediate whiplash.

I managed to spring my eyes open and found myself looking at Taylor's face. "What's wrong?" he asked, his face looking a little tired. His hazel eyes scanned my face.

"Migraine, it just came out of nowhere," I mumbled and started to close my eyes again. I didn't want to keep looking at him. The feeling of shame, guilt and embarrassment of what took place last night came back with a vengeance.

"I'll get you some pain killers, be right back," he rasped out, the deep timbre of his voice bothered me. I could hear him slide out of bed before he quietly left the room. I suppose I drifted back to sleep because I was a little disoriented when Taylor caressed my arm. I blinked a few times, until there's enough moisture in my eyes. Taylor had two blue pills in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. I half sat-up, without looking at him, I silently took the pills and orange juice. Once I washed everything down my throat, I humbly thanked him.

"Go back to sleep. I get up early and Bass should be up soon. I'll be out on the patio if you need anything." Taylor still looked serious, not a smile anywhere this morning. I hardly blamed him after my idiocy last night.

Once the effects of the pills vanquished my monster migraine, I retuned to sleep. My body simply couldn't get enough of it.

"Knock-knock, the witch is back." Lindsey called out after she opened the door.

Dear Almighty, I forgot that she had a tendency of waking up people. Emma complained about it for much of the past year. It was one of the reasons why Amber and I didn't want to dorm with her.

"Fuck, Lindsey!" I grumbled when I felt her get on the bed, and start to jump on it like a damn, little girl having the time of her life.

"Oh, come on, granny! You missed lunch already! We gotta go and seek out Greek McHotties!" Lindsey screamed at me, laughing in between sentences. One didn't need to see how happy she was. Yeah, and to think I almost came close last night... Taylor was right. I felt like the selfish, evil bitch he accused me of being, I truly did.

Lindsey was smiling down on me when she saw me sit up, obviously giving in to her mad tricks. "Give me fifteen," I mumbled, weary and sleepy.

She jumped out of the bed and landed perfectly on the floor. "Fifteen, got it! Let the countdown begin. Tick-tock!" Lindsey called out before she closed the door after her.

_Knowing how she was, she really would time me. Crazy woman, but I love her no less for it._

Instead of fifteen, I was done in ten minutes. I wasn't really up to putting any make-up on, so after I showered and lathered some lotion on, I was good to go.

I was thankful when Taylor acted normal, as if he didn't save my life last night. Yet, he still unnerved me somehow.

Lindsey and Taylor agreed that they would love to take the ferry to get to the other island, instead of the small planes they have around. I really couldn't care less about any of the transportation, so I just followed their lead.

I was surprised when I found the ferry ride was actually relaxing. I half listened to Taylor and Lindsey looking over the travel guide for Ios, planning places to check out once we were there.

We arrived on Ios right about sundown and checked in at a three-bedroom villa that overlooked the sea. On the way to the hotel, we saw crowds of people our age enjoying their drinks and lounging around the beach. "God, I'm crazy excited!!!" Lindsey couldn't contain her joy when she spotted a few hot men.

_Yeah, this was going to be a great night. Fight it, Taylor had said last night. Yep, I would fight it, MY WAY._

I was barely getting my things out of my luggage when I heard a knock on the door. "The men aren't going to disappear, you know. Give me half an hour then I will be set to go."

When the door opened, I was startled to see Taylor instead of the more expected, Lindsey. "I'm attracted to breasts, so no, men aren't my thing." He gave me a knee-buckling kind of smile.

_Holy fuck, this guy was hot_. I mean, I _knew_ he was. But now, I'm really _noticing_ it, blatantly noticing it, BIG TIME.

I bit my lip and looked away, hating that my body was reacting to him. Could this be Hero Syndrome? God, I hope not. That would be humiliating to like someone who saw you at your lowest. "Did you want something?" I asked, still not looking at him.

He strode forward and sat comfortably on my bed. He cleared his throat, and I could feel his heated gaze on me, but I didn't budge to meet it. "How are you? I've been meaning to ask, but I never really got the chance to."

Ah, shit-cakes. "I'm still reeling, I guess. You don't have to worry about that again, though." I looked up and finally met his probing gaze. "It was a random thing. I assure you, it never crossed my mind before."

Taylor got up and silently strode before me. "That may be, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Who knows how many impulsive, deadly endeavors there may be?"

"I'm not a nutcase, not even close to suicidal. That was a one-off incident. One I won't be attempting again, I promise." I pressed my lips together, trying to gain some composure, maybe a little bit of dignity, too.

His moss green-eyes drilled into mine, causing my breath to hitch. Time stood still, I felt bereft and perplexed at the same time. Although, most of all, I felt exposed to this man that I barely knew.

"I'm still watching you, Trista. Think of it like I'm your own personal guardian angel; a dark one." His scrutinizing gaze roved over me one more time. "We'll see you in thirty then." Taylor left my room after parting with those words.

It took me a few more seconds until I let out a long breath. My fingers clenched on the rim of my opened luggage, speechless. What the hell just happened? Was that a promise or fucking sexual tension? I was beyond disconcerted, but I pushed myself to get ready and show Taylor how his actions— and his soul-impaling-eyes—had no effect at all.

We dined on a taverna that had tiny chairs and tables on the shore. I've traveled to a lot of countries, but I don't think there is another place on earth like Greece. It truly was a jewel. The beauty, the cuisine, the people and the history of the country, it was all imbedded everywhere you go. You just don't feel it, you experience it. It seeps into you, like a mating of souls. You knew you'd never be the same after that kind of experience.

After the simple, and yet very commendable dinner, we went to an outdoor club that was packed with tourists, just like us. "Woot woot! European McHotties in the house!" Lindsey danced her way in, checking out men here and there. Her signature tight-hugging dress contoured her fabulous figure. Lindsey was stunning, beauty and brains, kick-ass, stunning.

Taylor, like a true gentleman, guided both of us girls to a table. Once we were all seated, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

"What you do want to drink? We'll order it for you." Taylor threw me a question before I left the table.

I waved my hand like the question was irrelevant. "I'll drink whatever you guys are having. It's no biggie." Call me a coward, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him squarely when he talked directly to me. He simply made me feel... odd.

Tonight, he wore white chinos, a white dress shirt with sleeves that were folded and pushed up on his elbows, and light brown Armani loafers. He looked like the model that he was, sexy and oozing some astronomic sex, appeal. It did not help that he unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt to reveal his muscular perfection underneath it. Yes, I was now seeing everything he did, and not in the angry way that I had the night before. I took note how he liked to bite his thumb when he found something amusing, but was trying to withhold his laughter, or the way he didn't really care how his wavy hair goes about. Messy, swept back, partially tamed or hung loosely around his eyes, he still looked gorgeous.

The bathroom excuse was a way for me to regroup my thoughts and tame my betraying body's reaction to the man. I comforted myself that it was simply a Hero Syndrome. I mean, what else could it be? I sure wasn't _into_ him the first time I met him.

My heart hadn't changed much, though. It still bore Harry's name, like a curse or fate, across it. I gave up trying to nitpick why I felt the way I did when it came to him. It was what it was, I was not going to deny it, or even try to understand it. Matters of the heart were a mercurial subject to sort and ponder through—especially at a club, in Greece of all places. It was one thing the brains and the whizzes did not have an answer to—stupid hearts, stupid love. There were simply no explanations out there that could provide answers precisely why that was. That's why it's all _feeling_ and not thinking.

Once I was finished using the bathroom, I came out and weaved through the throng of swaying people, dancing to the beats of Tiësto's _Traffic_ , one of my all-time faves. I halted when a hot looking woman pulled me with a small pressure on my arm. "Let's dance! Dance with me." Her accented tone was heavy. _Spanish, perhaps?_

In return, I gave her an approving smile. Sure, I could do this. I could dance for a bit.

She guided me towards a few steps that screamed VIP only. We joined a table that had a barely-aged-teen, looking all smug and pimpin' it. The young man looked like he was probably about seventeen or so. He surrounded himself with six women, plus me and the accented woman who had grabbed me.

It didn't take long for us to start dancing to the beat. Before I knew it, we were dancing right in front of the young kid. He was clapping like an idiot, his eyes greedy, checking me out. It was stupid, but this kid made me crack-up. He just looked too confident and too smug for his age. The effect was hilarious.

When the music ended, I said goodbye to the woman who hadn't given her name, but we both smiled at each other in an understanding that it was great fun to dance with each other for a bit. "Wait! Dance more, for me." The boy-kid asked, his accent obviously Greek.

"You're a naughty kid. I already danced and you watched. You got the full viewing." I spun around and went towards his table that had a variety of alcoholic drinks. I picked up the Rosé bottle and saluted it at him. "See you around." I gave him another smile before leaving.

Boy-kid bunched up his fingers and kissed them with his lips. "Goodbye, beautiful." He was obviously drunk already.

I waved him another goodbye, walking with purpose, seeking Lindsey and Taylor. I was surprised when I found the two talking, drinks in hand. Lindsey looked up when she found me walking towards them. "Hey! Where have you been? You look flushed." Her eyes took in my state. "Where did you get the Rosé?"

I pointed towards the opposite side of the room, and smiled at them. "I took the champagne after I gave that Small Big Pimpin' Kid a mini-lap dance."

Taylor's reaction was a Kodak moment. "Cheers!" I nodded at him before I took a long gulp of the mighty fine bubbles, straight up from the bottle.

"What!? I would've loved to have seen that! What a bummer!" Lindsey looked like I just told her that she couldn't have margaritas any more. I gave her a big, goofy grin.

"Mi scusi, I'm Eliza and this is Mia. We're from Roma. We were wondering if you were that Armani ad underwear model? Taylor, sí?" Two awed, giddy teenage girls eyed Taylor like he was edible. Lindsey and I both looked at each other, then at Taylor.

The man in question stood up and shook their hands. "I am _that_ Taylor. It's nice to meet you Eliza and Mia from Rome."

The girl, who introduced herself as Eliza, gushed and turned tomato red when she got up close to Taylor. She ordered Mia to take pictures of the two of them together.

Taylor was an Armani underwear model? Holy sexy man! I needed to Google that, like right now! Lindsey moved closer to me and whispered in my ear. "Did you think he modeled for like The Dollar Store or something?" Lindsey nudged me. She could easily see through my reaction.

I flicked my hair to the other side, not caring that Taylor was engrossed talking to his fans now. "Want to put your Greek plan in action?" I asked the grinning Lindsey.

"Fuck, yeah! It took you long enough. It's time to rock those tittays of yours woman!" Lindsey gave me a wink. Her brown eyes sparkled wickedly with amusement.

Ever since my breasts developed to full C-cups, she'd always teased me about it. I mean, they're pretty decent, but since I'm petite, they look somewhat huge on me, and much more pronounced when I wear a tight top, like tonight.

She held her hand out and guided us through the throng of people dancing. She stopped when we were squashed in the middle of those people, who were lost in the groove of the music. Reggae Techno blared through the speakers. We started dancing like no one was watching us. I danced and drank from my bottle, having not a care in the world.

After ten minutes of dancing, two British men came to join us. I barely glanced at Lindsey because the Brit looked like Josh Duhamel, but with a British accent. Talk about loaded ammunition! I was sold. "James," he whispered in my ear, his hands holding my hips possessively. I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, or how disarming his looks were, but I was melting in his arms. James could be my cure—the cure for my reaction to Taylor, not Harry. There was no cure for the kind of hangover that Harry had produced.

"Trista," I whispered against his cheek. I shivered deliciously when my cheek made contact to the light stubble he had on his jaw. _Could I melt some more, please?_ I clung on to him as we danced together. I liked how he didn't really push himself on me, or feel me up like other men would. His hands stayed put on my hips, planted firmly. I finished off my champagne to the very last drop.

"Here, let me dispose of it." James took the bottle, tossed it away and was back in a flash, looking too irresistible and without much restraint; I pulled him close and kissed him. As my kisses deepened, it earned me a satisfied moan from him. In under a minute, James weaved us through the crowd, half kissing as we went along. We both made a sighing sound once we were against a wall, somewhat hidden, close to where our table was, but I couldn't be bothered to check if Taylor was there or not. He was the last thing I needed to see when I was getting my freak on.

James didn't hold back kissing me this time. I pressed my body against him, matching his fevered kisses, his hands wandering. One cupped my breast, the other holding my ass in place, pushing it against his raging hard-on. _Yes!_ I silently screamed in my head. _Make me forget. Even just for a little while. I just want to forget about it all._

Then I heard _his_ laugh somewhere. My eyes snapped open, searching to find where it originated from, still lip-locked with James. My eyes scanned the crowd, stopping almost right across from me. Taylor was talking to a woman, whose features I couldn't see because she was facing him, so close to him. In fact, she looked like she was about to begin kissing him. I was sure she's just waiting for the right moment. I loudly gasped against James's lips when he grinded his hips against mine.

Forget Taylor and his lady brunette. I commanded my mind to focus on the kiss because it was getting extremely hot and loaded. I tilted my head back when James sought my neck, kissing it. My front teeth sunk into my bottom lip when James gave my left breast a hard squeeze.

That weird feeling of being watched caught my attention. My eyes connected to Taylor's. He looked observant, but at the same time, guarded and challenging. I broke eye contact when James parted from the crook of my neck. He placed his cheek against my own, as he tried to level his breathing. It was not a great wonder to me since I knew how tortured he was. The hardness of him poked me, sending warmth and excitement all over me.

"I apologize if I'm being too aggressive. You have completely broken down any self-control I had left." James bluntly admitted, while his hands freely roamed, skimming my physique.

"Take me to your room," I said looking up at him. I haven't been with anyone since Harry. For the first time in my life, I hadn't declined when the doctor offered birth control like I usually did. There was never going to be a next time. I was going to be extra careful from now on. A broken condom was simply not reliable, note taken.

James seemed taken aback by my blatant invitation. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured." He genuinely sounded like he meant it, but my mind was made up. It was best to get on with it.

If I was to be a prisoner of my dark conscience, indulging in sexual urges was a small consolation. It was the only thing that was left for me to enjoy. Well, I hoped I would, at least.

"Yes, I'm sure." I leveled my eyes at him so he could see how serious I was. James bent over and kissed me one more time before he ushered us towards the exit door. James took hold of my hand, leading me away from the club.

"Excuse me, but you're leaving with my woman." That stopped us walking; the voice of Taylor was quite close behind us.

James spun around, pissed off. "I have spent the last hour with her, kissing her. From where I'm standing, she's with _me_."

Taylor sent me a murderous glare before he looked back to James. "We had a misunderstanding. Trista did that to make me jealous. Well, mission accomplished. That doesn't change the fact that she's _mine_. So, if you don't mind, could you kindly take your hands off what's mine and scurry off?"

Mortified didn't even come close to what I was feeling at the moment. My cheeks suffused with blatant embarrassment when James gave me an accusing glare. "Bloody fucking hell, women! I would rue the day!" He shouted as he started to walk away from us.

I gently pushed his chest, angry and frustrated. "What are you now? Cock Nazi? It's none of your business, Taylor. What the hell! That was uncalled for."

"It was for your own good. You're obviously drunk. I didn't want you to regret it the next day. Especially after yesterday, I couldn't risk it. I had to stop you from making that error." Taylor slipped his hands inside his pockets while he regarded my reaction.

True, I was drunk, but that didn't mean I didn't have a damn clue about what was about to happen. Heck, I initiated it. "There were never going to be regrets, Taylor. I asked him to take me back to his room. I wanted to have sex with him. I knew what I wanted and I just went after it. I wasn't a drunk damsel in distress that needed saving from you."

His eyes flicked from my head to my feet, and back up again. "Why? Last night, you told me you were so fucking in love with Harry. Fucking another man is a stupid solution to that, Trista." Taylor frowned at me.

An irritated laugh came from me. "This wasn't about love. Maybe I just like sex. Have you considered that?"

"Let's go back to the villa. You need to rest. You look tired." Taylor placed a hand behind my back and pushed me forward. "I spoke to Lindsey earlier. She's with a bunch of girls from New York. She also has her cellphone with her, so we can reach her anytime. Now, let's get a move on."

The short fifteen minute walk was silent. The fact that I was hyper-aware of his movements, his breathing and his smell, dampened my mood even more. The fact that his hand never left the warmth of my back, didn't help at all.

When we got to our villa, he refused to leave my room just as he had the night before. After his quick shower in his own bathroom, he came back to mine and sought the opposite side of the bed.

After ten minutes or so in bed, his phone started ringing. After a few rings, it died. The sheets made a crisp sound as he moved, reaching for it. "I wish I could put this on silent, but Lindsey might call." His considerate, protective nature stretched to Lindsey as well, though, that nature didn't seem to be as bad as it was towards me.

I was a tad intrigued. "Who called you?" When my eyes made a quick pass to his face, I saw his frown. Okay, now I was fucking curious.

He stretched out and placed his hands behind his head. "My ex, Megan. She might call again, so I apologize ahead of time."

His honest revelation surprised me. Most men wouldn't be too quick to respond about something like that. Most of them deny their pasts and cover up other women in their lives, but not Taylor. In that one moment he showed me that he's straightforward as hell. I was a bit ticked off. Why? I wasn't sure, but it bothered me to know that he's talking to his ex. Of course pretty boy was attractive, and I'm sure he had tons of women at his beck and call, however, I didn't want to see him that way. To me, he was just Taylor—the guy I just recently had met—who saved me and infuriated me.

"Were you guys in love?" I whispered, staring at the ceiling, like him.

"For a couple of years, we were, but somewhere along the way, things fell apart. We agreed that breaking up was the best thing for both of us. She started calling three months after, that was six months ago." Taylor sounded like his thoughts were so far away, like he was remembering his relationship with Megan and their love.

_What would it be like to fall for someone who could freely love you back? To have them openly declare their love and affection. To be able to openly show people how much you care for each other?_

A one-woman kind of man.

"If she asked you to give it another go, would you go back?" I wondered out loud.

He took a good minute or two to consider my question. "I'm not going to lie and say that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. Our relationship was great. Megan and I understood each other. We're both competitive in nature, and we both thrived on it. I guess we were good together, but somewhere down the line, we drifted apart."

Why did it feel like I was being poked each time he mentioned her name?

My prodding about his past didn't ease my curiosity. In fact, it got worse. I was imagining all sorts of things in my head. When his phone rang again, breaking the silence in the room, I reached out above his body for the phone. "Hello?" I answered the call.

"Trista!" Taylor hissed behind me. His hot body almost touching my back, but he was careful not to touch me.

_Nah uh_ , he messed with my night with James earlier. It was my time to mess with his.

"Can I speak to Taylor?" a soft, angelic voice came on the other end, a tad shaky.

Taylor tried to grab the phone from my ear, but I out maneuvered him and slapped his hand away. "Taylor is unavailable at the moment. Can I take a message?" I sounded flirty and buoyant. Possibly because I was still drunk, or maybe because I was having a blast making Taylor squirm—in any case I sure was having a terrific time.

Instead of answering my question, Megan went straight for an interrogation of her own. "Are you his girlfriend?"

Taylor was behind my back trying to steal his phone from my tight hold, but I managed to move away from him and tried to crawl using my elbows. His hands were too quick, though. He swiftly grabbed my ankles, pulling them towards him. With will and might, I tried to kick his hands off except I somehow ended up being rolled over on my back. Looking away from him, I focused on the call. "Taylor and I aren't like that. We're just fuck buddies, you know," I wickedly said, breathless.

Megan gasped at my crude retort. She hung up a second after that. _Oh, boo! I wanted to toy with Taylor some more, but Megan cut it short._ "Here, she hung up on me. Megan sounds lovely by the way. I could just picture her as ladylike and very proper."

I handed him his phone back, but I stiffened in the midst of it. I was frozen on the fucking spot when I caught his eyes staring sharply at my slightly, parted legs. I swallowed nervously, my throat suddenly dry at the dark intensity of his hungry, devouring gaze. I felt utterly clueless what to do next. I couldn't even summon enough energy to close my parted thighs. It was as if his eyes had the power of holding them in place while they simultaneously showed me how badly he wanted me.

" _Why aren't you wearing any underwear?_ " Taylor was finally able to rasp out, his voice decadently heavy with desire, eyes _still_ glued on my exposed, bare genitalia.

"I never wear any when I'm sleeping," I whispered before I urged my body to move. I counted from one to ten and willed my body to do so. When it finally did, I was still shaken. Shaken from my response to him, but most of all, shaken from the desire I heard in his voice. Taylor and I can't happen. That's that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to flash you. I wasn't trying to seduce you, in case you'd think otherwise."

"Right, I forgot, I'm not your type. Of course you wouldn't be seducing men like me. It never crossed my mind that you would." Taylor gave me a curt nod and removes himself back to the side of the bed he had been inhabiting before we got interrupted by Megan.

Once we quieted, I couldn't leave the subject alone. "You sound mad. Is that because you wanted me?"

Taylor hissed again. "Any man with a dick would be turned on at a close-up of a vagina. It was just a normal reaction for any hot-blooded male. You shouldn't dwell on it."

His stupid tone irked me to pieces. "Good to know. Sex with you would be a damn snore anyway. So, don't even toy with the idea." I declared before rolling on my side. I waited for his reply, but it never came.

In fact, Taylor was silent. I wondered if he was asleep, but my pride wouldn't let me check if he was or not.

I fell asleep listening to his breathing. The last thought I had was him, and that _look_ he had earlier. _The one_ where his gaze told me how much he wanted to fuck the living shit out of me.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty

# Trista

The next day, I woke up alone in bed. My eyes were stuck staring at the dent Taylor's head made on the pillow. My fingers softly trailed the outline while my thoughts brought me back to the events of last night.

All he needed was a little nudge and things would've have turned out hot and heavy, but I knew I couldn't go there. Dragging my body off the bed, I took a long shower. Once done, I managed to style my hair and put some make-up on. Memories of Taylor the night before made my heart skitter inside my chest throughout the routine of getting ready.

I had decided that today I would pretend like last night wasn't awkward at all. Taylor was a decent guy. I suppose, he could be slotted in the "gentleman" section.

I gave my reflection a once over and found satisfaction in what I saw. I perked up before I left the bedroom. What greeted me, though, was not what I had expected. There were four girls outside enjoying the mid-sized pool, overlooking the sea. What caught my interest was the fact that Taylor was _with_ them. Engaging and obviously enjoying the attention these women gave him.

The outdoor dining table had food and pastries scattered about. Lindsey was on the other end typing her fingers away. She looked up when she saw me pull up a chair and join her. "Hey, you missed lunch again!"

I gave her a small smile. "Nothing new there. Go back to whatever you're doing. I'm going to eat and go through my phone."

Lindsey quickly glanced at the playful women. "Those were the New Yorkers I met last night. They seem to have taken a major interest in Taylor. I think they're trying to see who gets him first. It's like a competition."

_I don't care about him and his stupid women_. "That's awesome! The guy needs some lovin', too." I may not mean it, but it sounded believable. No matter how loud they got, I trained myself not to look in their direction. Instead, I poured myself a cup of coffee and loaded my plate with food.

"You don't sound that convincing to me, but okay, whatever you say," said the doubtful woman as she typed away on her keyboard.

I didn't even try to argue with her, I simply wasn't in the mood. In dire need of some distraction, I pulled my phone out of my purse and turned it on. There was a message from Mom, Amber and lastly, from _Harry_. My hand shook at the mere sight of his name on my phone for the first time in a month. Truly, I never expected him to contact me again. Like the true masochist that I was, I opened his message first.

**_Check your email, please._**

**_H_**

_What did he want to say to me that he couldn't have sent on a text message?_

Curious, and certainly dying of desire to know what his email might be, I turned my attention to the woman still tapping away on her computer next to me. "Linds, is it okay if I could use your laptop? I need to check my email really quick." My data plan for my mobile didn't work around here. I forgot to inform my carrier that I was traveling abroad.

"Yep, I have to call home, anyway. Not to mention, Carter's been really annoying. I have to call him back." Lindsey saved her work, and after a few clicks, she got up and handed me her laptop.

I made sure she left before I checked my email. The noise the people in the pool made could barely mute the loud, thudding sound my heart was making when I clicked to open the electronic letter.

**_There's no excuse for my actions. I know it hurt you, for that I am deeply sorry. You must see how complicated my life would be if I hadn't asked that of you. I hope someday, you can find it in you to forgive me._**

**_I think you of everyday. There's never a day that I don't. I guess that would be my punishment. To love someone I can't have._**

**_Are you having a great time in Greece? I try to convince myself that you're probably around men who are vying for your attention. I want you to be happy._**

**_A small part of me, hopes that you aren't. I don't blame you if you've moved on, though. You're young and free._**

**_You're free now... free of me._**

**_Goodbye my love._**

I reread it again, my breathing ragged, my body slightly shaking from anger and his audacity. With all this pent up emotion, I knew I couldn't just email him back. I needed to talk to him. My phone may not have Internet, but I surely have the capacity to make calls and send messages. I made sure I logged out of my email first before I strode towards the other side of the small cliff. It led towards the shore, and would provide the amount of privacy I needed.

The steps heading to the shore were steep, but my purposeful determination didn't even make me pause to be cautious. _How could Harry be so selfish? After weeks of not hearing from him, he comes knocking like what he did wasn't that big of a deal._ Was the email supposed to be a band-aid to the damage he had caused? But the most disconcerting part was that amidst all these hateful and furious emotions that had me strung out at the moment, I felt a little hope flourish. It was pitiful, pathetic and absolutely absurd, that I—after all that's happened to me—would still be pining and hoping that he might want to rekindle our relationship.

Once I was safely on the sand, I was glad to find that there was no one around. The small strip of sand was nestled in between two huge boulders. I tried to gather as much strength and rationale before I decided I was ready to hear his voice again. My fingers trembled when I touched the screen to send the call. My heart shot up manically once I heard the first ring echo in my delicate ear.

"Trista," Harry breathlessly said after the second ring.

_Oh, God. I could feel my barriers slowly sliding off, easing at the mere sound of his voice_. Fuck, I cursed repeatedly. Think of Emma and how she reacted when she found out about Carter's betrayal. She broke down, but persevered. Think of what Lindsey would've done, if a guy messed with her. She would have made them pay.

Harry had to know the kind of pain and hurt he inflicted on me. Loving him only gave him the power to hurt me this badly. He had to know that I could survive without him in my life. He had to realize that.

"I just read your email." I sounded terse and brisk. The total opposite of the raging chaos that was happening inside of me.

"I'm sorry. I felt like a total dick—" he was going to try to justify his cruel actions, but I wouldn't let him.

I gave a harsh laugh at his attempt. "Yeah, you were a total dick. You were shitty, cruel, heartless, unfeeling; a brutal son of a bitch, Harry. You let me face it, and go through it, all on my own. No support or remorse came from you. That shitty love you kept throwing in my face was an absolute lie. And to answer your question, _yes_ , I will be moving on. I don't care how I will achieve it, but rest assured, I will get over you, Harry. Bastards like you don't deserve to be loved."

"I know you're angry, but you don't mean that. You love me, Trista, and I love and miss you like crazy." He sounded like he meant it, but what did I really know? It ticked me off that his words stole my breath away.

A big part of me wanted to go back and be with him, but then I flashed to the moment that despair had overcome me the other night. I couldn't keep hurting myself. I had to move on. It was pathetic that I kept making excuses not to, but I had none left. If I didn't do it now, I might never get a chance again. "We're really finished, Harry. I'm dead serious about this. I will make it a mission if I have to, so please, stop reaching out to me. Goodbye." I hung up without even caring if he wanted to talk my ear off about _his_ reasons.

It was for the best. Nothing good could ever come out it. With shaky breath and legs, I decided that it was best to sit it out on the sand for a while and wait for my turbulent emotions to calm down, before going back up to the villa.

Huh, he's sorry. _How trite and obnoxious could he be?_

"Hey, you okay?"

I spun sideways and found a serious looking Taylor standing on the foot of the steps. My fingernails dug into the insides of my palm when I clenched my hand. Heck, I forgot about him and his watchful eye. "Were you eavesdropping?"

Taylor's footsteps headed towards me. I held my breath when I heard him sit behind me. "Come here, let me hold you." His toned, muscular arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. I curled up like an injured animal. My body nestled in between his legs, my head on his chest. His large hand rubbed a small place on my back, soothing me. "Let it out. You've held it in for far too long. I'm here just to listen and comfort you, nothing more."

Dang it, why did he have to say the right things? I didn't want to break down and cry my guts out, but I ended up doing it anyway. I cried like the broken woman that I was inside. Cried for the mistakes I could have avoided, for the life I could've had if I hadn't become a mistress. But most of all, my heart cried out to my innocent, unborn child—the collateral damage for our forbidden tryst.

"I have to forget him. It's time," I murmured, as much to myself as to Taylor. I hoped that the more I spoke and thought it, I would eventually believe it.

I was not aware how long I cried my heart out, but the moment my loud cries turned into soft sobs, I took notice. All of my hair-raising senses were on high alert—conscious, enrapt and aware—of the hard perfection that held me. It left me flustered and dismayed. Why? Possibly due to the fact that I found myself _liking_ being held in his arms, or the way he smelled—sexy with a cool, crisp hint of potent masculinity—that toyed badly with my amplified senses.

Taylor would've been the perfect, sexual, rebound man. If he weren't so connected to Bass and Emma, I wouldn't even hesitate to lose myself in him. Alas, life wanted to play more ghastly jokes on me, testing my will and limits of temptation.

Like Harry, it all started with curiosity, turned into temptation, which brought me to eternal damnation.

Yeah, I wasn't ready for another head-to-head match with my mind and body. So, I simply broke myself out of his hold, stood up and silently walked away without saying a damn word.

The four "let's play under the sun" girls joined Taylor down on the shore for swimming and beach volleyball. I don't know why, but each time one of them tried to engage me in conversation, I turned into a bitter bitch. I noticed them starting to avoid me as much as I was them; I guess the feelings were mutual.

It was just Lindsey and I on the patio. We were on our backs, bathing suits and sunglasses in place, working on our tans, when my phone beeped with a text message.

**_Amber: I wished I was there with you guys. The only thing that keeps me from walking out of this place is the thought of seeing you all in a month. Since I am miserable in Arizona, please make sure you have twice as much fun. You get my fun card. Double the pleasure, double the fun! Tell both girls I said hi and miss them. I have so much to make up with you all. I love you, Trista Stevens. Thanks for not giving up on me._**

"Is that Horrid Harry? You look sad." Lindsey lifted her sunglasses, her eyes waiting for me to confirm her suspicions.

Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes underneath the sunglasses. I knew she didn't really like Harry, well no one did, but I was done talking about him. I didn't want to say or hear his name anymore. I meant it when I told him I was going to do everything in my power to banish him from my thoughts. "No. I told you, Harry wouldn't be contacting me anymore. It's actually Amber. She's saying that she misses you guys and can't wait to join us back in SB," I replied, distracted with my quick reply to Amber's message.

"Tell her to focus on getting better and stop flirting with the doctors and the entire male staff." Lindsey muttered as she went back to her old position, with a slight frown on her pretty face.

Amber was known for her excessive, sexual appetite. She's quite open about it to us and doesn't hold back the details. Knowing how she was, I bet she had the male staff under her thumb.

**_Me: Hey, love. Wish you were here, too. We're on the island of Ios with Taylor Montgomery (Bass's BFF). I'm looking forward to seeing you. BTW, Lindsey said to focus on getting better and not flirting with the male doctors. I know it's fun and all, but we're serious. Get better this time. We miss you._**

**_P.S. I'm here for you, always. Love you, Doll._**

After sending the message, I laid back and worked on my tan. I looked calm, but it was only a facade. Inside, my thoughts gravitated again to Harry, Taylor and now, Amber. The first two, I could do without. The last one, I couldn't. I gave a long silent prayer that Amber was getting the treatment that she obviously needed. I also hoped that she took it seriously.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One

# Trista

After a full hour of serene silence, the Fantastic Four along with Taylor joined us around the pool. I held my eyes shut, not caring about the intruders.

"Hey, Lindsey! We're going back to shower and change. We'll meet up at the same bar, let's say around nine-thirty, ten?" One of the FF's said.

"You bet! See you guys later," I heard Lindsey say. After a minute, she spoke again, to Taylor. "You look pink, Tay Tay. Too much hanky-panky under the sun? How drunk did those girls get you, hmm?"

Hanky-panky? Was Taylor messing around with them? All FOUR of them? Uh, another case of ménage-a-fucktard. _Men. When it comes to women, no matter the quality, quantity overrules simple, common sense._

The playboy of the day gave a riotous laugh, like it was the funniest thing he'd heard all day. "Fine, I'm wasted. No harm no foul." He admitted, leaving out the important detail of whether he had indeed had his fair share of hanky-panky.

"I just bet. Well, good for you. Hey, you're on a holiday. It's the best time of the year to get your freak on." Lindsey and Taylor both laughed at that.

What was Lindsey doing cheering him on to whore it out tonight? Didn't she insinuate that something was going on between Taylor and I? Of course it wasn't true, but it kind of stung that _if it happened to be true_ , she would suggest that to him.

"I'm getting hungry. Can we just order in tonight? I want to relax before we hit the party rock tonight." Lindsey was gathering her things as she spoke. She grabbed her iPod, a paperback, cellphone and her see-through beach dress, all stacked up together.

"Sure," I murmured. Taylor mirrored my answer.

"Awesome sauce! Don't forget to wear something killer tonight, Trista Stevens. It's on tonight, baby! We'll find you a sinful guy to hump and bump on, clothing optional, of course!"

I love my friend. She likes to mess with my head too much, though. "Now, that's my kind of plan." Let operation _Forget The Bastard_ be put into motion.

My inner cheerleader died when I heard Taylor snort at my response. "You have something to say, pretty boy? Spit it out, I want to hear it." I raised my brow at him, my voice scathing. My hateful glare didn't faze him. In fact, he rewarded me with one of his own.

Lindsey glanced at me, I saw her frowning in my peripheral vision. I'm sure my reaction to Taylor was already noted in that brilliant head of hers. I wasn't going to explain anything, or back down from the glare war we were having.

Taylor simply got on my nerves. Since that night in Aspasia, we both had the whole I-think-I-might/I- think-I-won't down to a T. Add in my emotional drama and my intense awareness of him, and it was a volcano, packed with crazy, ready to erupt. We were a disaster waiting to happen.

Like a ticking time bomb, our time was numbered until showdown. It would be a hateful mouth-off, one I was prepared for. He did tell me to start fighting, did he not? Well, here I was, fighting.

Come what may.

"O... _kay_. I'm going to order some food." Lindsey started to walk away, but paused and looked back at both of us. "You know," she said pointing her hot pink-tipped finger at us, waving it back and forth, "whatever's going on... _freaking get to it!_ You guys need to fuck each other, already. The tension is just too damn much." Lindsey shook her head prettily and went back inside the villa.

If my eyes had the power to sear people, Taylor would've been charred to perfection by now. The only tension I had at the moment was keeping myself from strangling this stupid man. I would also love to successfully swipe off that stupid smirk that _just_ became pasted on his face while I was at it. "What?" I snapped at the infuriating man. His sudden amusement grated me to death. It was like listening to nails scratching on a chalkboard.

"Want to pay heed to her insightful advice?" Taylor delivered with such infuriating confidence.

_Fucker!_ _Hell no!_

My blood boiled like hot magma. I simply glared at him before cutting his sexual prowess to a halt. "Over my dead body, Taylor. Keep dreaming, though, pretty boy. I just hope your imagination can handle the heat."

Something flickered in his eyes, something dark and unattainable. I was unprepared when he strode towards where I stood, all cocky and confident. The moss-green depths of his eyes pinned me down. The amount of heat that channeled from those beautiful orbs burned me up, all the way to my toes causing my body to react acutely. I could feel it as my nipples tightened, my muscles clenched intimately, and a flush spread across my body at the potent intensity of it. Those eyes alone pierced me, drawing me in. The feelings had begun to overwhelm me, suspending my brain from thinking. All I could see was _him,_ bewitching me with his spell. It was a whimsical fervor that bounded and disarmed me.

"I can definitely take the heat. I don't dream about heat, Trista. I _make_ heat. And once you get a taste of that, you will be the one begging me to take you." The deep timbre of his voice vibrated all over my heightened body. I wanted to scold my treacherous body for reacting to him, but it was futile. It was uncomfortable, _and yet_ , pleasurable.

If just his eyes could have this effect, I wondered what his touch would do to me. It would most likely light me up like a goddamned Christmas tree. I've never had this kind of sexual chemistry before, not even with Harry. That honest admission aroused something else inside of me, but I dispelled it as soon as I could.

Taylor was Bass's friend. I didn't want to hook-up with someone who I would eventually see back home. No, my life was complicated as it was, I didn't need to tangle myself in another hot mess.

With my arms folded on my chest, I held his heated gaze with purpose. "I guess it's a good thing that I'm not in to you, pretty boy. This technique might work on others, but it doesn't do shit for me. Maybe it's high time you go and treat your pretty dick to some pussy showdown. I'm sure you could take your pick from one of those over-eager New Yorkers."

Taylor's eyes searched mine before he trailed them to my lips, those eyes burning with evident need and something else, almost like he was fighting it, too. This weird pull was unnerving. Cautiously, he looked away and gazed at the sea. "Yeah, you're right," He murmured as his fingers ran over his hair. With a resolute sigh, he went back inside without giving me another glance.

I stared after him, knowing I did the best thing. Taylor might be irresistible, but I couldn't risk it. With my luck, I would end up being hurt again. Going through this emotional death and physical pain of losing the only man I had ever loved was the greatest challenge I have yet to conquer. Involving another man that I would be seeing for the next four weeks was not the brightest of ideas. That would be like asking life to shit on you some more. Yeah, not going there—not if I could help it. If I wanted to get laid, it better be with some guy that I would never see again; never get an emotional attachment to. Ever.

That night, we went out to party again. I wasn't a wee bit surprised when those girls joined us since they had already mentioned they would see us at the club. Their names floated around, but I never was interested enough to catch any of them. Lindsey seemed to get on with them, as did Taylor. He was different tonight; he seemed more guarded, unreadable. He wasn't a jerk or anything, he still talked to me, but the warmth and playful tone were gone. I was hardly surprised. Men like Taylor aren't used to the word "get lost". I tried to ignore the odd feeling of his new treatment of me, so I paid extra attention to my drinks and danced with random people. I didn't even try to engage myself in any lip-lock wars with other men this time because I didn't want to see Taylor pull another stunt like he had the night before.

The other difference this time was that Taylor was openly flirting back with all of the FFs. The blonde twins, whom I was internally referring to as Buxom Blonde One and Two—or BB One and BB Two for short—were certainly making their interest blatantly known, rubbing their tits on the side of his arm. It didn't help that they were voluptuously gorgeous. The urge to barf was strong, but I forced myself, though a difficult task to achieve, to look away and pretend I was enjoying the night.

I really did try. I danced with countless men, but I didn't let it get past that. I didn't need another close encounter with Taylor. No, not tonight. Not when my emotions were at an all-time high. I simply didn't trust myself around him.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Two

# Taylor

Trista was behaving oddly tonight. The woman did flirt with men, but nothing big happened. I wasn't sure if she was trying to moderate her antics or if she was merely trying to stay away from me.

I tried to enjoy the night with the New Yorker Twins, Allie and Ellie, but my eyes always ended up checking out what Trista was up to. Before I had gotten a great view of her nakedness last night, my watchful protectiveness would've been a normal thing, but, after that nice flash of temptation, I knew it wasn't all for good intentions any longer.

I wanted that feisty cat of a woman. I wanted to see if she could be tamed and if she really drew those claws when I took her over and over again. I wanted her to fight me and, yet, I wanted her to give in to me. She was a raging hellcat to the highest order —beautiful, fiery, passionate and very much uncontainable—but I was drawn to that beautiful, feistiness. Her vulnerability couldn't be seen when she was around people, but I knew better. I had witnessed her breakdown. Maybe that's why I was so intrigued by Trista. Whatever it was, I wanted to get to know her. Hell, my body wanted to get to know her. She spat fire and oozed sadness. It was a heady mix.

Her conversation with Harry earlier had shaken the woman. For a short time, she had let me hold her as she cried her pain away. Holding her when she was clearly heart broken, changed me. I vowed then, that no matter what I did in the future, I wouldn't let a woman be this miserable because of me. I didn't have a sister, but if I did, I would kill the man who would hurt her this way. Harry was truly a sad, son of a bitch.

Though Trista tried to deny our attraction, I didn't do much to renounce it. It crackled when we were in the same room and I badly wanted to explore that connection with her. Yet, she rejected me at every turn. It was a frustration that I had never been presented with before.

We were back from the club and here I was in the living room drinking as the twins rubbed themselves on either side of me. Twins had been a dream of mine back in the day, but staring at the girls didn't even get me excited. Sure, I was hard, but for the woman who was in the bedroom, the one __ who slept without a scrap of underwear on.

I bid the twins goodbye when the sun was coming up. We were leaving back to Aspasia in the next few hours and I wasn't even tempted to relieve myself with either of them. I'd rather savor the sweet torment the hellcat bestowed upon me. Very soon, I would have her underneath me, writhing for me, begging for me.

Yeah, the woman certainly got to me in the most primal way possible.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Three

# Trista

Lindsey and I decided to go for a leisurely stroll back to the cottage, instead of taking a ride from the pier. We wanted to explore more of the island, but at the same time just catch up, too. It had been months since we really had time to just have fun and not talk about problems. I could _handle_ this side of Lindsey.

We took the shore route after walking on the long, winding path of never-ending rows of olive trees. Being this close to the sea, where I almost died, brought both sadness and comfort to me. Now I looked at the azure body of water as an omen, a sign, a challenge even. Together with the reality check from Taylor, it taught me that no matter how great the problem, I should at least learn how to endure it, tackle it, fight it. The only thing we could do in life was to survive it. It was the __ survival of the fittest. Seeing life this way altered my perception completely.

"Do you think Amber's really in rehab because her grandmother presented her with that ultimatum, or is it because she totally went overboard and got out of hand?" Lindsey gave me a quick glance before she looked down to watch her feet as she walked when she asked me that question.

This had occurred to me as well. Amber was pretty good at hiding her bad habits, even from me, her best friend. It was hard to tell when she was telling the truth or only _partially_ telling it. Amber admitted once that she didn't outright lie, but spoke only partial truths when the situation needed it. So, it was hard to gauge her text message. "The thought crossed my mind, but I think she's telling the truth about the ultimatum. I don't know, but I guess we'll know the truth when she gets back in a few weeks."

Lindsey blew out a long breath and shook her head. "Amber is pretty messed up. I still can't believe that woman bitch-slapped me, though. That shit was painful."

I snorted when I remembered the incident. "I admired you when you didn't do anything crazy. I mean—knowing how feisty a woman you are—I expected you to slap her back to her senses or something, but you held back. That was out of character." We both started to laugh madly. Amber _had_ bitch-slapped Lindsey like she was on WWF.

When our laughter died down, Lindsey spoke up again. "Amber was hurting inside. I'm not that much of a bitch to want to add to her pain. Her parents already got the trophy for that."

We became silent after her remark. I was sure her thoughts matched mine. Memories of Amber through the years, being treated with cold indifference and no apparent love, twisted my heart. I remembered in sixth grade Amber mentioned that she overheard her father telling her mother that she was a failure since she couldn't even produce him a son. When I brought the subject up a few days later, Amber made me promise never to speak about it to her, or to anyone, ever again. Thinking back now, I think that brought clarity and answers for her, but then again, Amber has always hidden her real feelings when it came to her family. Funny, Amber was the one who finally caught me with Harry. I thought I had hidden Harry pretty well, but no, never with Amber. She was the female version of Sherlock Holmes.

We could see people hanging out in one of the cottages that lined the shore. I assumed they were the film crew. They looked like the artsy, passionate types. When they yelled and waved, we greeted them the same way as we passed. As we drew close to the cottage, I sighed with relief. I had one more thing to do before we left for Athens this evening.

That _thing_ being Carter's present. One of the biggest predicaments I had was how to get Emma alone—without Lindsey, Bass or Taylor around. I would have to be more than just sneaky. Bass might hate me forever if he ever found out.

Lindsey and I dusted our feet off before we entered the cottage, barefoot. "I'm going to go get some agua, want some?" I asked Lindsey.

I frowned at her while she stood there, frozen. "Dude, I just asked you a question."

"Shh... shut the hell up. Be quiet!" Lindsey barely glanced at me as she tiptoed towards the marbled hall, in the direction of the bedrooms.

Of course, curious, I tiptoed and followed her cat-like pose. "What are we doing?" I hissed at her.

"Do you hear that? I think it's our girl getting her freak on," Lindsey whispered back. Her eyes sparkled wickedly.

We looked at each other for a few seconds, before it clicked. Oh, heck yes! _Score!_

We obviously couldn't miss the down and _dirty_ show—not where the famous Bass was concerned. We started to hurry and listened for where the moans where coming from.

I was giddy with joy and curiosity when we found Emma's bedroom door halfway open. _Jackpot!_ Lindsey and I were both hyperventilating when we got close to the door.

I poked Lindsey's arm out of excitement, but she flicked it off. We both mouthed "Oh my god" as we craned our necks to get a closer glimpse of Bass.

The first thing I saw was Bass Cole's golden ass. He was settled in between Emma's parted legs. They were making out... that was until Bass started to get down and got ready to show off his special masterful skills. Bass was whispering something in Emma's ear as he started to slowly stroke her with concentrated precision. Boy, the dirty words that came out of that hot friggin' mouth... I wanted to die. It was SO blatantly hot! I needed to fan myself before I passed out.

"Ladies."

A voice came from behind us. _Oh, dang it! Did he have to interrupt us when the show had just started?_

I immediately stood up, as did Lindsey. Taylor was across the hall, arms folded against his chest with an amused expression on his face. He cocked his head at us, directing it towards the patio. He even had the gall to wait until we silently moved away from the holy hotness of the Bass fuckery. _Until the day I die, I will remember that image in my head._ Emma was one lucky lady.

_Go get it doll_ , I cheered in my head.

Once we were outside, Lindsey and I shared a look, a-barely-contained-excitement kind of look. "Shit. Was that the hottest thing you've _ever_ seen or what?" Lindsey wondered out loud, matching my thoughts.

"Hell to the mother-fucking yeah!!!"

"Did you see that ass?" We both exclaimed, swooning.

I was a little annoyed when Taylor cleared his throat, breaking our concentration from thoughts of sex and mental images of the sensual play we'd just seen. We were so caught up with our own thoughts that we forgot about him, standing there on the opposite side of the patio, watching us fawn and daydream about what we had just witnessed. I wasn't sure what he thought about us daydreaming nasty thoughts about his best friend's buns of steel and I wasn't quite sure I cared because it had definitely been the show of a lifetime.

"I think five minutes is enough replaying it in your dirty heads, no? Those two will be joining us soon, once they've realized we have arrived. It would be awkward if Bass came out here and you girls looked all flushed." Taylor tried to hide the smile. He was definitely making fun of us.

Lindsey grinned at him as she started to walk towards one of the chaise lounges then sat, facing him. "Come on, dude. I'm sure this thing always happens to you."

He gave her a humorous laugh. "It does, and it never gets old."

"So, did you guys ever like the same woman? I'm sure that's happened before. I mean, you guys are both exceptionally good looking," Lindsey said as she stared at Taylor, waiting for him to answer her direct question.

He looked thoughtful a moment, pondering Lindsey's question with consideration. "Nah, Bass and my tastes are different. He has a thing for exotic beauties with accents. On the other hand, I prefer brunettes."

Lindsey frowned at that. "That's interesting to me. Emma's not an exotic beauty with an accent. Why do you think Bass is with her then?"

_Fucking good question there, Doll, and what's with Taylor's thing for brunettes?_ Was he trying to tell me something? Fucktard!

Taylor didn't even look worried about Lindsey's suspicions. "The only one that could answer your question would be the man himself. Anyone with eyes, though, could see how crazy he is about her. In the end, I guess a person can't really control what they feel towards someone, even if that someone is not what one expected them to be. We don't do the choosing, our souls do."

The last few sentences made Lindsey frown. "Well, that's a fucked up thing to say, Taylor. You totally just screwed with my head. I say we need some hefty margaritas in our systems." She stood up and left the patio, heading straight to the bar inside. I knew Taylor's words made her think of Brody.

That would definitely pissed her off. If Lindsey could ease up on her thoughts of Brody for a little bit, she could breathe easily. Then again, Lindsey was one stubborn-headed bitch. Not only that, but she has a notoriously vindictive personality to boot. Ever since our small weekend jaunt in Tahoe last year, Lindsey was bitchy when it comes to Cece. And that includes ALL the men Cece slept with, including the men who she was in love with since middle school.

Emma, Bass and Lindsey all came out at the same time, bringing drinks and snacks with them. Bass was only wearing his ripped, stained jeans. I blushed when he gave me a smile. Yeah, I was a little embarrassed because I was admiring his ass while he was having sex with my friend a little over half an hour ago. If he had known that, I wondered if he would still smile at me. Emma, on the other hand, gave me a happy kiss on the cheek. Her torso-hugging dress flared loosely from her hips to her ankles. It showed off her amazing body in an understated way. Yeah, Emma's one of those girls that appears as if they popped into this world looking like a damn super model. I caught Bass cupping her ass before he moved past Emma; he was trying to be subtle, but had failed miserably. The gesture made it obvious that he couldn't get enough of Emma. If he wasn't in love with her already, he was on his way there. I was glad that she finally found a man who adored her like mad. It wasn't hard to see the happiness that radiated off her.

We were discussing our trip in Ios when a slight knock on the glass made us look up. All five heads turned to watch a blue-eyed, dark haired, Greek piece of perfection walk towards our table. _Holy shit, this island harbored all the hot males._

"Good evening. I let myself in after a few knocks. I hope you guys don't mind." The Greek man spoke with a husky, accented voice.

"Girls, this is Dimitris. We'll be staying at his place in Athens tonight." Bass introduced him to Lindsey and me. It was obvious that Taylor already knew him since they greeted each other like long, lost buddies.

"You're an actor as well?" Lindsey asked him as Dimitris settled himself across her. To other observers, she might look nonchalant and blasé, but I knew better. Lindsey's eyes sharpened, her "come get me boys" look was in place. Sultry Doll was definitely ready to play.

The Greek actor looked like a devil-may-care kind of guy, but something about him told me that Lindsey might find her usual strategic games challenged by him. "I am. I play Emma's husband in the movie," Dimitris murmured before he helped himself to a glass of red wine.

Damn. Emma's job was to make out with and be in the arms of two very fine, exceptionally good-looking men? Talk about super unfair!

Emma reach out and touched my arm. "Tris, do you mind helping me make some more drinks?" she asked on the side, getting my sole attention, while Taylor and Bass, Lindsey and Dimitris were all engaged in their own conversations.

Grinning, I reminded her of my bomb skills. "Sure, but you know how deadly I make mine." I knew Emma couldn't handle hardcore concoctions, but that didn't stop me from trying to get her to drink them anyway.

We both stood up at the same time. She laughed, shaking her head, remembering fun memories of us plastered. "Yeah, don't remind me. Your drinks gave me the worst hangovers." Emma slightly ruffled my hair, before slinging her arm loosely around my shoulder as we walked back inside the cottage. When her arm kept pushing us past the bar, I knew then that she was up to something.

"He sent an email heading ' _Did Trista give you something from me'?_ Did _he_ really send something?" Emma whispered, worried.

_Of course, unanswered emails wouldn't faze tough-as-nails-sexiness-was-named-after-me Carter Mason._ What Carter wants, Carter gets. If it gets tough, Carter aims harder. He wasn't the kind of man who would give up. Back in middle school, when our school banned those old school Nokia phones from being used at breaks and lunches, Carter made a damn petition and nearly got the entire school to sign it. He then took it to the local radio stations and made sure that the entire city was made aware of the school ban. The school principal, of course, lifted the "no cellphones allowed" policy the following day. The principal even gave Carter an apology. _Yeah, Carter was a lot of things, but giving up wasn't part of his DNA._

"My room, let's go." I ordered her to follow behind me. I hastily opened the door to the room and waited for her to get inside. Once she did, I gently closed the door behind her. "I'll go grab it. It's hidden in the closet." It didn't take long for me to locate the item. I handed it to her.

We were both sitting on the bed, anxious. Our eyes dauntingly stared at the white package. "Did he say what was in it?" Emma asked, obviously apprehensive.

_Like Carter would tell me._

I shook my head. "No, he didn't." I should excuse myself and leave her to open the present from Carter, but I was way too curious to have the decency to do that. I wanted to see what Carter Mason had up his sleeve to try and win her back. The man was bound to do something monumental.

"Phew, okay. This is stupid. I don't know why I'm even nervous. Let's just get this out of the way, shall we?" Emma sounded like she was trying to ease her mind, but it was obvious that she was a little shaken.

Her fine, dainty fingers swiftly opened the bag and poured all the contents on the bed. My eyes took in the four by four picture frame of them kissing during Halloween last year (they looked utterly crazy about each other in this one), his current jersey, a DVD of The Pirates of the Caribbean and a card. What really caught my attention was the final item, a black velvet ring box.

I nervously glanced at Emma. Her blue eyes stared at it like it was dangerous. It was her _Pandora's Box_. When her hand reached out to get the small square item, they were trembling. My heart was in my throat when I saw what that ring box contained. "OH MY GOD," I whispered in awe and shock.

Holy fucking COW, it was epic. Epically crazy, epically ludicrous, epically original—but most of all, it was _Carter **epic**_.

"His great-great-grandmother's engagement ring!" Emma screeched with shock and bewilderment. The antique, oval-cut ring was truly magnificent, with a huge sapphire surrounded by flawless diamonds. What made this ring significant was that Carter's great-great grandfather bought this for his new betrothed from a European royal who needed more money to continue supplementing his expensive lifestyle. The ring was a medieval piece of art that carried centuries of history. It was Emma's birthstone to boot. For Carter to offer his grandmother's ring to Emma, proved his intentions were beyond boyfriend/girlfriend. The ring had been passed down through the family to his grandmother who died when he was about eight, I think, and had been set aside for him, intended for the woman he would someday marry. The fact that he sent it to Emma was a statement that he had just made LOUD and CLEAR.

I remembered Lindsey mentioning seeing her grandmother's ring before, but I hadn't expected Carter to send it through me. _I hid a ring that cost millions in a fucking closet!_ It was in my luggage and went through international customs! What the hell. That was messed up. What if someone had stolen it? Thinking about those possibilities almost gave me a panic attack. So not cool.

When my eyes returned back to my friend, I started to worry. "Emma?" she looked pale, ghostly.

Emma bit her bottom lip before she took hold of the letter and opened it, without parting with the ring.

**_My Emma,_**

**_The past two months without seeing your beautiful face have been the greatest challenge of my life. Your mind must be going nuts about my grandmother's's ring. Do you remember when I was telling you about it this past Christmas? I hope you do. It was the first time in years that I didn't dread the occasion._**

**_There's no better way to tell you how serious I am than with this ring. You know what this ring signifies, to me most of all. This is my way of telling you that I want my future with you in it._**

**_I don't want anyone else but you, Emma._**

**_You can keep ignoring me if it makes you feel safe, but that doesn't mean I will ignore you when you do. Our relationship was rocky, but we had a lot of good memories, too. I don't know how to fully explain myself. You know more than anyone that I'm not good with expressing my feelings._**

**_ALL I SEE IS YOU. There is no one else except you._**

**_Forgive me, Emma. I will prove that I will be worthy of you again._**

**_Forgive me for betraying your love and trust._**

**_Forgive me for fighting for you._**

**_Forgive me for loving you so much that I can't let you go._**

**_Ours was the kind of love that stays with you. You know more than I do, that it's never going to be over, my Emma._**

**_I love you._**

**_Carter_**

_This was like D-Day, the rounds just kept on coming_. Carter blew my mind with this screwed-up-fucking-ingenious gesture of his.

"Emma..." I trailed off. I wanted to say, "be strong and don't let him change your mind", but a quick glance at her made me stop. She was about to cry, but was trying to control it.

"What do I do, Trista? This is too much." Emma's small voice shook, troubled and confused.

_Oh, no. She's reacting to him. Not a very good sign._ "Do you still have feelings for him, Em?"

"It's going away. There are days that I don't even remember him and his betrayal. I'm unprepared for _this_. I wasn't expecting this." Emma gently wiped her tears away.

Even if Carter was persistent, it still didn't change the fact that he had hurt her badly. Even though I grew up with Carter, and have a soft spot for him, Emma needed a guy that was loyal and who was crazy about her. I believed Bass was that man, and then some. "Bass is crazy about you. If he knows you still have feelings for Carter, it could definitely complicate things." Bass was the true gentleman, _but he too has limits_. I knew this from Emma's stories.

Emma tried to smile. "I'm crazy about him, too. Bass has been this terrific, perfect guy. I'm scared how our relationship is going so fast, but it feels like it was meant to be that way... like being with him is never going to be simple or ordinary. I only have one heart, though. Sadly, it holds two men in it. One I want to keep, the other, I want to set free. How do I let the other free when he securely locked himself in, throwing away the key?"

"Shit, Em." _Yeah, I sucked at this_. There was nothing I could say to make it better. She was going to be in a crazy battlefield of love, with two determined, Alpha demigods. _Wishing her luck wouldn't do shit._

After another five minutes, Emma gathered herself up and decided to stash her Pandora's Box back in my closet. _This time, I wouldn't be caught dead with that medieval historic piece of art._

"You can stash the rest in there, but I won't let you do that to the ring. You need to find a place to keep that safe." The problem was where. The only thing that I could think of was for her to wear it, but it was impossible with Lindsey with us.

"Fuck, fuck! I don't need this problem, Tris. Fuck," she cursed again.

In the end, she was reluctant, but knew it was the best if she held on to it. We were staying in Athens tonight and we'd be spending the whole weekend on a yacht. Leaving that ring in the closet, unguarded, was out of the question. It would be disrespectful to the ghost of Carter's grandmother, but it was also an absolute disrespect to the ring itself. It was way too beautiful to be treated that way.

_Yeah, I have a partial love affair for flawlessly beautiful masterpieces._

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Four

# Trista

We traveled to Athens by a helicopter with Dimitris as the pilot and Taylor next to him. Pretty boy looked like a kid in a candy store, ecstatic and giddy with joy.

Dimitris landed on a helipad atop his building. He was a great host and showed us to the seventh floor, where the guestrooms were located. Apparently, the other floors were for entertainment, dining and living room, with the gym and the penthouse being his quarters. His home was not decorated in an over the top fashion. Black and white with understated style left us all feeling comfortable.

Taylor and I didn't speak to each other unless it was necessary, and I liked it that way. I hoped it would continue until the month was up.

After a nice rowdy dinner, Dimitris took us clubbing. I caught Lindsey a few times giving Dimitris a look. _The Look_. I planned to ask her about that once we were alone.

We had barely finished our first mojitos when Lindsey stood up and started to dance right in front of the guys. "Come on my pretty girlfriends, let's get crackin'." She took Emma's hand on one side and mine on the other.

It was thrilling to be around my friends. Even though Amber wasn't with us, the feeling of security I got from Emma and Lindsey was enough for me. Tonight, I had to try to forget about everything. After all, I had less than a month to enjoy my time of being alone here. Once I got back to the motherland, shit might hit the fan. Who really knew what the future held?

For a good hour, the three of us danced like old times. Emma and I were rather surprised—okay, we were definitely surprised—when Dimitris interrupted us and asked Lindsey to dance with him. "Um, maybe later? I'm still busy with my friends," Lindsey said with hesitation.

_Huh. Wasn't she flirting with him earlier? What had happened in that short amount of time from Aspasia to Athens for her to act odd?_

Dimitris turned his attention to us, Emma and I in particular. "Do you ladies mind if I borrow your friend for a while?"

"Go ahead. Take care of my boo, D." Emma winked at Lindsey.

_Lindsey blushed!_ Um, what the hell? It was rather odd to see her in such a shy, reddened condition. "I'm okay with it, Lindsey likes her McHotties." I said McHotties in my best southern drawl to mask it from Dimitris, but Lindsey understood and she just gave me a murderous glare.

When I saw Emma gaze up to where our table was located, she was just staring with an enamored look in her eyes, at Bass, who was laughing with one of the guys who had just arrived to join him.

"Go be with him. You know you want to." I urged her on.

She merely shook her head. "He's great isn't he?"

_Duh, Emma?_ "I think the whole world thinks he is. Look around, tell me, how many here think he's great?" I pointed her chin to the gawking female fans vying to get a glimpse of the movie star. Suddenly, I realized how hard this must be for her. Someone always wanted a piece of Bass. How did she do it?

"You know, there were rumors that some of the extras made this bet as to who could get Bass in bed first? I know he won't, but it doesn't make me stop thinking about it." She bit her lip and focused those cornflower blue eyes at me, questioning, worried. "When we go back to the real world, do you think we'll survive LA?"

_Dude, I sucked at giving advice. Have you seen my life?_ Of course, I shut my trap and tried to be a good friend, though. "I can't speak for Bass, I don't know him that well, but from what I have observed, he's nuts about you, Doll. I can't honestly tell you if you guys will be okay when you get back. You know more than anyone what kind of temptations are around tinsel town. You have yours, too, but no matter what you do, just try to stay real. I know it's freaking ironic that I would give you advice after what I've done with my life, however you have a chance here at great happiness, Em. I want that for you."

Emma's stunning face suddenly contorted at my response. "You have to stop it with this shit about you messing up your life. You made a big mistake, but that doesn't mean you can't move on from it. That doesn't define who you are, Trista. Please, I don't want to hear anymore of you degrading yourself this way. We all make mistakes that we aren't proud of. No more being sorry for yourself, okay?" Emma reached out and gave my hand a squeeze. Her kind eyes made me want to weep.

If you only knew the extent of what I had done, you might not think that. "I'll try. That's all I can do. Now, why don't you go and keep your man company? I'm going to find one of my own for the night." I shooed her away. After a minute of convincing her that I was okay, she left and strode towards where Bass was sitting with the other actors that were in the film with them.

Since I was in dire need of a drink, I ordered my Adios Mother Fucker. When I held out my card, a man shoved his card into the bartender's grasp instead. Stunned, I just gave him a "what was that for?" look. Instead of explaining himself, he held out his hand. "Alexandros Pallis." The tall Greek man introduced himself. He was tanned with jet-black hair and dark eyes, and a sexy, drool-worthy accent. _Sign me up, please!_

My fun, frilly self came out automatically. "Trista, just Trista." I shook his hand, and didn't let go of it.

We started talking about his life. He was twenty-eight years old, and worked for his father in their family company. One thing I noticed with these Greek men was that when they were interested in a woman, they made it known in such a way that a woman knew his intentions, yet they did it in a nice fashion, like a dance. Take Dimitris, for example, that man hadn't moved his eyes from Lindsey since the moment he'd met her. We all knew what his intentions were without him seeming overbearing. I suppose, I could refer to it as court dancing. It was a refreshing thing to see for a change. I mean, I didn't have anything against the American way. "Ooh, baby you look mighty fine. Want to bounce and chill somewhere?" or "Hey, girl. You look hot. Want some beer?" There's nothing really wrong with it. To be quite honest, the words used didn't matter when the guy was good looking. _However,_ it's nice to see a different approach to it, I suppose.

We chatted for about half an hour. Alexandros was a gentleman and I was pleased to know this. I knew deep down he must want to score with me tonight, yet it was amazing how unobvious he was. We drank and danced for an hour or so. He didn't even try to kiss or grope me on the dance floor, which I found rather odd. Men usually bust out their dry-humping skills when dancing, he just danced. Although, I knew sooner or later, he would make a move on me.

I was proven right ten minutes later.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Alexandros asked, lifting my chin to match his gaze.

_Well, here it is_. "Sure, that actually sounds good." I smiled at him. A big part of me wanted to go through this just to get it over with. It had been far too long since I had fun with any man, other than Harry, between the sheets. A small part of myself, however, told me that this might not be something I wanted to do.

" _Ne_ , I think tonight will be good for us." Alexandros took hold of my hand and guided us off of the dance floor.

I knew that before I left the club, I needed to tell my friends. It would be disrespectful and irresponsible of me not to. I scanned the place for Lindsey and found her busy dancing with Dimitris. From the looks of it, something hot was brewing with those two, so I didn't really want to disturb them. That only left me with Emma to tell, who was back at the VIP table with Taylor, Bass and a few of the other actors from the set—Mo McCormack, Tanya Welsh and Vincent de la Cruz. I wanted to just leave and not go over to the table, but I knew they would be worried if I didn't tell them where I was going.. "Do you mind waiting here? I have to tell my friends where I'm going." I also asked him to call my cellphone so I could give his number to Emma. I needed to make sure that it was really his phone and not a phony one. I then had him text me his address as well, just to be sure. I may have no problem with a one-night hook-up, however, I wasn't stupid enough to go off on my own with a guy without some kind of assurance that I would be safe, like get their entire background check—okay, pure bull—but somewhere along the lines, if possible. Other men would have reacted differently, but Alexandros simply wasn't bothered by it. "I can give you my identification card, too, if you need it?" He gave a humorous laugh. He was teasing, but I also knew he meant it.

"No need. This is perfect." I pressed my body against his and whispered against his ear. "I'll be back."

As I walked towards the VIP section, I gave myself a mini pep talk. I had been so blinded by my determination to get over Harry that I didn't anticipate a little hesitation on my part. I knew I needed to get through this. I couldn't pine away for Harry. For a year, I'd been so blinded by lust and love for him, nothing else had mattered. There was no future with Harry, though. What he did to me after he found out about the baby was totally inexcusable. Plain and simple, black and white, the man was a Triple A-Asshole.

When I got to the table, I smiled when Emma pulled me down next to her. "Hey!" I hollered. The rest of them greeted me back. I didn't risk glancing at Taylor. I just wanted to pretend that he was not around. The less eye contact I made with him, the better... and it seemed to be working quite fine.

"You look happy." Emma observed, smiling at me.

_You do, too, Doll. You look like someone lit you up._ "Do I? Well, I wanted to talk to you about that."

Bass's head popped up next to Emma's shoulder. "Want to introduce the man? Hold on, don't tell me you're leaving with him so soon?" Bass was checking Alexandros out, as he was clearly visible from up here. Bass had no trouble picking out the right man, Alexandros's eyes were trained on me.

I shot Bass a winning smile. "I am, actually. I have his number and addy. I will text it to Emma now. Is that cool?"

"Um, well, I guess if you really have to..." Emma was biting her lip. She only did that when she's unsure, nervous, or thought something wasn't a good idea.

I was busy going through my phone and didn't look up until I was done. "What?" I questioned the handsome blonde couple. _Why was Emma being a pooper?_

Emma pressed her lips together, before she spoke again. "I just don't want you in harm's way. We're in a large city now, a place you're unfamiliar with, a foreign country where you don't speak the language."

Damn. The woman started busting out her formal speech. I had to get out of here before Lindsey joined us. If Emma was reacting this way, Lindsey would be worse. I was actually surprised Taylor hadn't butted in on the conversation yet. It was so unlike him, but who cares? "There's nothing to worry about. I have GPS on my phone. You'll know where I am. We good?"

Emma went on pressing her lips together again. I knew the rest of the table was listening to us talking because they became silent. The music thudded loudly around us.

Bass wrapped his arms around Emma's neck before he directed his attention to me. "Promise us that you'll have your phone on at all times. Don't forget to mention that you know people who will hunt him to the ground if he doesn't return you in perfect condition. If he does something you're not comfortable with, we'll come get you at any hour. Be safe, alright?" He kissed Emma's cheek before continuing, "Your friend here worries, as we all do. Warn him that you have Dimitris Kosta on your speed dial. That should scare him off."

I had learned tonight that Dimitris was from an influential family. They had a powerful lineage and a lot of money. His ancestors had a part in forming Greece's history. _Who could thump that?_ I overheard this information from Mo McCormack, one of the actors, as he spoke in an animated fashion to Tanya Welsh.

"Got it, Boss." I gave Emma and Bass a quick hug (So cool! I'm tight with the Badass BC!). Before leaving, I bid everyone else goodnight—ignoring Taylor, of course. When I strutted away from them, I could feel his eyes on me, burning holes in my back. It bothered me that we have this weird, push and pull tug of war with each other. A man that could make me feel this way without fully knowing him, one that I haven't even kissed—let alone had sex with—was perplexing. The only reasonable explanation that I could come up with other than The Hero Syndrome, was that Taylor always seemed to be there when I was about to break down into tears. I hated that he got a glimpse of my inner scars, my constant pain and what lurked in my darkened soul.

When I was close to reaching Alexandros, I shoved my lousy thoughts away. "Ready, _omorfi mou_?" he drawled as he wrapped his arms around me, his eyes sparkling.

Talking to me in Greek earned him extra brownie points. "What's omorfi mou?" It sounded off when I pronounced it, like I was a total wannabe. I sucked at languages, anyway.

" _Omorfi_ means beautiful. _Mou_ means my. My beautiful girl." Alexandros broke it down for me in such a cute way. I almost didn't want to think about how possessive he sounded when he said _my_. We barely just met and he calls me that in no time. _I'm definitely not in America._

"That's sweet, but we should get going." My hand reached out to take his before he guided us towards the exit.

I let out a loud gasp when a large hand tightly grasped my arm. "I don't think so. Sorry bud, but you can't leave with her." Taylor's clear commanding voice hung in the air. I could hear the underlying threat in his words. By the look in his eyes, he wasn't about to be toyed with.

"Who is this man to you?" Alexandros directed the question to me, his accent more pronounced. His patience looked like it was running out.

"He's a friend of my friend. He's just looking out for me, nothing more, honest."

When I felt Alexandros's hand grip mine, I knew I had to interrupt before he said something that would detonate Taylor. The last thing I needed was for them to fight. "Taylor, back off. This isn't funny anymore!" My small hand tried to detach his fingers from my arm; instead of letting go, he held it tighter.

"Do I look like I'm cracking jokes to you, Trista?" Taylor hissed, his words were directed at me, but his eyes were glued to Alexandros, unfaltering.

_Seriously, how humiliating was this?_

"I'm sorry about this. Let me just talk to him for a second," I said to Alexandros. Glaring, I spoke to Taylor. "We need to talk. You have gone way overboard!"

Without much consideration, Taylor dragged me with him. My steps had a hard time keeping pace. He was acting like a major brute and was pissing on my parade. Enough was enough.

We reached a darkened turn, Taylor reached for the first door he could get open, made sure it was empty then yanked me inside by my arm.

An angry growl erupted from within me as I violently shook his hand off. " _You stupid shit!_ I'm so sick of this idiotic, damsel in distress, rescue protocol you've been exhibiting!" I screamed at him before he even closed the door.

A grating laugh came from him. "You're calling _me_ stupid? Well, that's very generous of you. You should look into the mirror first before you call someone else stupid!"

_Aw, hell no!_ The claws and fists were definitely coming out now.

Raging with violent ire, I closed the gap between us in a blink of an eye. With my hands, I pushed him backwards. "How. Fucking. Dare. You!" I emphasized each word with a hard push until he was against the wall. "You have no right to get into my business. You saved my life, _thank you_ , but that doesn't give you the right to fuck it for me. It's my life. _My right_ if I want to fuck it up or not."

In a flash, he swiftly switched us, and now I was the one trapped against the wall. My crazy rant had little effect on him. My intentions clearly did not register. In fact, he was incensed with rage, absolutely livid in his own right. He looked like a man who was beyond his limit. "You are a fucking selfish woman. _Get out there and face reality!_ The world doesn't revolve around you, Trista! So, what if your boyfriend broke up with you? Big fucking deal! Toughen up. Life is a big boot camp. Grow some backbone, you self-centered brat." He furiously spat at me, our faces inches from each other.

SLAP! My palm connected to his cheek with a swift movement. Taylor made a harsh growl. His eyes looked completely dangerous.

Yet, none of it fazed me. I had never known uncontrollable rage until tonight. Where does he get off insulting me like he's known me all my life! "How dare you! _You don't know me_ , so you don't have the right to criticize my actions. Get off your high and mighty fucking horse, Taylor. In case you haven't noticed, _I'm not perfect_ and I don't claim to be. I make mistakes, _all the time_ , but that doesn't make me a bad person. You can't just stand there and judge me like a bystander watching the drama unfold before your insipid eyes. YOU. KNOW. NOTHING!"

Taylor's face was an inch from mine, but I wasn't going to back down, never again. The room seemed small and the only sound my senses could pick-up and concentrate on were the sounds of our shortened breaths, along with the frantic, manic speed of my heartbeat, I couldn't even hear the club music anymore. It became grave when he didn't respond immediately.

When he did speak, I was a little surprised. "Then make me understand. Why are you doing this to yourself? I can't ignore how your eyes always reveal pain. Yet, the only thing you want to achieve is to fuck it out of your system. Do you honestly _know_ what you're doing, Trista? Do you really want to go through sleeping with all these men and regret it the next day?" Taylor asked in a worried tone, but his hardened demeanor did not thaw, not one bit.

Heck, people always used sex to get over someone. It's been a well-practiced theory ever since humans knew what heartbreak was. "I do know what I want! I want to fuck nameless and faceless men. If you have a problem with that, too bad, because I don't give a flying fuck." My honesty seemed to throw him off, but it did little to ease the tension between us. It was maddening and I badly wanted for him to fight back. I had so much to let off my chest and Taylor made it easy for me to target him as my emotional punching bag.

He closed the hairsbreadth space between us. Cheek to cheek, my heart galloped loudly against his wildly beating heart. "Fine, you want to fuck. You want to lose yourself in sexual gluttony to forget whatever shit you're going through. Well, I've got the best solution for you. Why don't you use me instead? I'll do whatever you want. _Use me_ however you want." His husky, downright seductive voice sent acute, electrifying waves of potent arousal into my core. My underwear suddenly felt moist. _Shit_.

My body tensed and clenched as I tried to hold back from responding to him. His offer was tempting, but I couldn't possibly consider the idea. Taylor evoked emotions that were too troubling for me to entertain. I already feared I had the Hero Syndrome crap going on. He'd already rattled me. If I added sex on top of the list, it would be too much to handle. Besides, the fact that I might see him in LA, yeah, I had reason enough to back away.

I needed him to fight back and dash that idea of him as my stud slave. "Who the hell do you _think_ you are? Swooping in like you're some cock in shining armor? This is stupid." I stomped past him. Taylor immediately grabbed my arm and dragged me back against the wall. For the first time tonight, my eyes examined my surroundings. A sizable, square, office table, a small couch and about eight filing cabinets summed up the space in its entirety. I noted how the room was dimly lit. The only lights were the small red dot on the smoke alarm and a tiny night-light.

Taylor extended his left arm to reach the door. I freaked when I heard the lock click. Aw, hell no. _Who did he think he was messing with, a fucking Barbie?_ I moved and tried to reach the door. "Get me the hell out of here, you stupid prick!" I shoved past him, but his steel-hardened arm circled my hip, as he swiftly dragged me towards the table. He planted my ass at the edge and his daunting body ensconced my tiny frame, trapping me until I was at his mercy.

I peered at him, my body fearful yet thrilled at the same time at his crass, dominating attitude. "What the hell, Taylor—"

His eyes were dark and formidable, unreadable. Utterly and completely menacing. "SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! Trista. For once, just shut the fuck up!" He barked at me before he savagely devoured my lips. He kissed like a man who was famished. It was voracious, punishing, and absolutely ravenous—like a man who was at the point of no return.

Hell, I devoured him like he was my last meal on earth, too. His barbaric he-man behavior inflamed by body and it surrendered to him without hesitation. One touch of his lips was all it took, all fight and conviction completely left me.

I couldn't help moaning when he held me possessively, kissed me passionately. I threw my head back when he started to nip my neck. "I promise I'll fuck you good. So, good, you will forget about that guy that you're so in love with."

_Oh, yes. The images his words paint in my mind were definitely what I needed._ Dirty mouth Taylor, now that I can sign up for! It was fascinatingly sexy and utterly delicious. It was a serious turn on. Hell, I was deliriously turned on. I had an idea of what it would be like to be in his arms, but this was beyond what I had contemplated. This animal of a man was unexpected.

"Hurry up and fuck me, then. I'll let you know after if lived up to that offer." I ordered, but inside, I was begging. I was beyond saving now. My body fevered for his touch, for his possession.

He immediately parted my legs. My dress slid upwards, giving him access to my womanhood. Fascinated, I watched his head drift down to the V of my thighs. His nose touched my lace thong and I stilled when I heard him inhale my scent. I was taken aback when he bit the top of my slit, over the thong. "Shit!" I unexpectedly hissed. It wasn't painful or anything, but I was shocked. _What kind of kinkiness was this guy into?_

I got my answer when he started to eat me out over my thong. It was unexpected and completely different from anything I had experience before, but maybe a change would be good. I certainly didn't need to be reminded of Harry. That man was a fan of traditional, missionary style fucking.

Taylor's large hands slid underneath me where he gripped my ass cheeks, locking me in place, at the mercy of his mouth. I started to pant when I felt his hot tongue trace the side of my thong, gliding across it in a torturous motion, seeking entrance to my pussy. The first feather-like stroke was heavenly. I was dripping wet, burning hot, and fucking ready. Yet Taylor continued taking the long route and I didn't know if I should moan or cry from frustration. "Oh. I. Taylor!" I incoherently said as that powerful tongue of his gave my clit a lashing, beating it with grueling accuracy.

"More, I want more," I panted, throwing my head back, My fingers reached out and clutched his hair, pushing my pussy into his face. A whimpering sound came from me when he stuck a finger inside my hot entrance. He used that finger to probe and tease me, while his thumb rubbed my clitoris at the same time. With his left hand doing its ministrations on my pussy, Taylor slowly trailed kisses, over my dress, from my navel all the way to my chest. From the valley of my breasts, he stuck his tongue out and licked his way up until he reached the crook of my neck. He nipped there and sucked on my earlobe as his right-hand hastily unhooked my halter-top, exposing my breasts.

He groaned at the sight of them. "God, these tits. I've lusted for them for far too long." His large hand cupped one, feeling its weight before he gave it a hard squeeze. His thumb speedily circled my nipple while his mouth bit and sucked the life out of my other breast. Three different parts, three different sensations, all with a relentless mission to make me come while getting me ready to be fucked by this gifted man.

"Are you on the pill?" he asked, looking up at me, while his tongue flicked over my puckered nipple.

I barely heard him in my abandoned state. "Yes, definitely. Yes. But I've never had sex without a condom before."

Still looking at me, he playfully bit into the pebbled form. "Me, neither, I've always worn one. Can I take you without it? I have the condom if you request it, but I want to fuck you, skin to skin, and feel you clench around my cock as you come for me."

My hips buckled when he stuck another finger inside my hole, stretching me, prepping me for his cock. I felt a gush of wetness as it trickled and dripped down to my ass. Out of nowhere, Harry's face appeared in my mind. _Harry... I fucking miss him. No, no no. I won't let him ruin this for me._ There was no doubt in my mind that I still loved the prick. If Harry asked me back in person, I knew there was little chance I would decline him. Selfish, yeah, but love makes people stupid. Unfortunately, I'm part of the rat pack.

"Condom, Taylor."

"Whatever you wish," he fluidly responded before he captured my breast again.

I let out a moan when Taylor's fingers went berserk on my G-spot. My mind shut down on me completely, and all I could focus on was the punishing pleasure that was being done to my breasts, and the violent throb in my womanhood. I sobbed, begged and moaned at the same time. I was just so out of it. I cried out when his mouth left my breast and harshly bit into my neck. "Harrrry, I want more," I screeched out, grinding my hips into motion.

In a blink of an eye, lips, hands and mouth were not touching me. I felt bereft from the sudden impact of the departure of his hot body on me. _"Do I look like Harry to you?"_ He asked in a tone that chilled my bones, his eyes glaring murderously.

It was almost enough, _almost_ , to douse me out of my horny state. Hell, I cringed when I realized that I said it out loud. What a fucking gaffe. "No, hell. I apologize. Can we get a move on now?" I pleaded, but he was immovable. His jaws locked as he kept looking at me like he hated me on sight. "Why are you angry, anyway? Can you really blame me for calling out his name? I haven't been with anyone since him."

"It's insulting, Trista," Taylor said through gritted teeth.

I knew it was, but it had already been said. I couldn't take it back. Certainly, I was more than ready to continue kissing and touching him. "Not going to happen, again. Are you done being a cry baby?" My eyes darted to his pants, and by God, I devoured that hard-on with them. I wanted him like a drug. He had gotten me into this aroused condition, he simply couldn't back out now.

"Watch that mouth of yours, Trista. I'll make you pay for that foolish blunder." Taylor threatened.

I watched in fascination when he started to move and strip before me. His toned, sculpted body and chiseled six-pack whetted my appetite some more. "You're beautiful." I wanted to say, but held the words from leaving my lips. Instead, my mouth parted in awe as my tongue licked around my lips, in a full circle when he took his jeans off. "Oh, God," I gasped. As turned on as I was, the reality of the situation still hit me. I was going to have sex with a man who wasn't Harry. Before I met Harry, it hadn't mattered. _But it did now_ , because I had fallen in love. It was stupid, but I felt like I was betraying that love.

Feeling guilty, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anything. All I needed was to feel. _I want to feel good... just enough to take this ache in my heart away, even if just for a short time. I wanted to forget Harry and his touch. Just for a while, I wanted him banished from my thoughts._

I felt Taylor's large hands skim my thighs as he roughly parted them and planted himself in between them. I heard the tear of the condom packet. Condom in place, he held my hips and pushed me onto the edge of the table, my ass hanging halfway off. "Open your eyes." He harshly demanded.

_No._

I shook my head.

His hand gripped my jaw and leveled my face to him. "OPEN. THEM."

Grudgingly, I did as he commanded. The second our eyes met, he roughly entered me, filling me with his thick, enormous cock. "Does it _feel_ like Harry, now?" He spat out, staring into me, penetrating my eyes while he fucked me. " _Does it?_ " Taylor grated again, demanding.

His fast, rapid, calculated thrusts were done with exact precision, each time he slammed back inside me, I felt him stretch me completely, filling me to capacity. Each stroke expelled beautiful, carnal friction. The sound of him fucking me with the loud slapping noise my wetness made each time our bodies connected, was truly delicious. _No, Harry doesn't fuck like this and certainly doesn't have a monster of a cock._ "No. This is definitely, you," I shakily whispered as he numbingly pounded my pussy.

"Say my name. Say it!" He grated in my ear. He was making damn sure I knew _who_ was fucking me. Damn it with men and their prideful egos!

God, this man was going to kill me. He used my entire body to cruelly punish me with his cock, crushing my pussy. "Taylor," I moaned his name.

"Fuck!" He groaned out. The sudden feeling of his hot body away from mine made me ache with need. Still buried deep inside, he swiftly rolled me on my stomach. I was positioned with half of my body on the table, my ass up in the air, legs stretched to their limit and my feet planted on the floor. "Perfect. Now, I'm going to put all of it inside you," He braggingly exclaimed.

I blinked back a few times. My breasts felt heavy and too sensitized on the table. The throb inside my nether was uncontainable. "What do you mean? _That wasn't all of it?_ " I whispered, thrilled.

Taylor's fingers sunk into the skin of my ass cheeks. He simply chuckled at my question. It was like a warning of what was to come. With a tight grip, he opened and lifted my ass before he rammed his cock in full force, and its entirety, into my salivating hole, hard. He filled me more than he had earlier, filled me more than anyone ever had. "No, _This_ is all of it." he expressed with such potent hunger.

Holy fuck. "Jesus! Taylor!!!" I bellowed with as much praise as there was surprise. I've never felt this full in my life. It was an alien feeling. It was too much to bear, but it was too good of a feeling to refuse and I couldn't get enough of him.

I was gasping and panting while Taylor took liberties with my pussy, marking his territory, making it known who was the boss. "Do you want to come, Trista?" He asked in between thrusts.

"Yes." Please.

"Talk to me dirty and use my name, this time." Taylor placed his thumb where my clit and his cock met, teasing the sensitive skin. My body was on fire, different delirious sensations rioted in all directions. It was ludicrous.

_"Seriously?"_ I panted, a little confused at his request. _I don't do dirty talk during sex._ I was a smart-mouth in other things, but never ever during intercourse.

"I won't make you come until you do." The Boss warned.

I groaned. _I want release. No, I needed it!_ "Please, pound me harder, Taylor. Use that big cock to fuck me until I can't walk anymore." I hissed when he tugged on my hair while he pounded me as I requested. "Fuck, Tayyy...looor!" I screamed. My orgasm entirely took over, seizing me completely as I sobbed his name.

With his hand gripping my hair still, he turned my head sideways, so he could kiss me. He stroked me torturously as he rolled his hips in a steadfast motion. He left my lips and whispered in my ear. "I'm going to fuck your cunt like it's my gateway to nirvana. I'm going to crush, pound and kill this sweet, little pussy of yours. Do you want to be fucked like that, my beautiful hellcat?" His tongue and teeth nibbled on my ear.

Fuck! I was stuttering because I just had an intense orgasm, and Taylor's relentless cock was seriously killing my brain functions. "Yes..."

He moaned as he sucked on my earlobe. "Do you want to be fucked like a little whore or like a good girl?"

Hottest question, ever! "A whore," I deliriously moaned.

He softly chuckled and it sent delicious thrills through my body. "That's the spirit. Are you ready to come again, my little whore?" Taylor asked as his large hand connected on my ass cheek, fiercely slapping it twice.

Fuck, I loved it when he talked dirty. The spankings combined with his dirty words, simply drove me insane. "Absolutely." I gripped the ends of the table as he showed me how a whore was to be fucked. Both of his hands wrapped around my neck, gripping me hard, but still loose enough for me to breathe, as he impaled me.

Taylor made a loud, animalistic howl as he hammered me with his big cock. It dominated my existence. That cock fucked me until pain and pleasure pushed me to the edge. It felt like freefalling in the most extraordinary way. My body roared as another orgasm wholly obliterated me. "Taylor!" I screamed until I couldn't anymore. I was seeing black and white stars everywhere. I had never orgasmed so hard in my life.

He came a minute after I did. Both hands cupping my breasts as his entire body hardened, his cock expanded before he shot his hot semen. "Trista!" He hissed in my ear. He stroked his cock a few more times to get all of his spunk out. His lips kissed around my spine. Kisses trailed onto my shoulder and neck. I spun my head halfway to meet his lips and we kissed feverishly.

With my eyes closed, he broke off our kiss and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. "Shit, Tris. I think I have just found my drug. It's pussy crack." Our bodies were still connected, sweaty and heaving from our animalistic mating.

Sex with Taylor was truly an out of this world experience and that's all it should be. Plain and simple, black and white with no gray in between. As long as we kept it that way, I would happily comply. "Good, cause your monster got the job. I'm giving it an endless supply of me."

I earned a spanking with that remark. "Monster cock. Only you would say such things out loud." His palm massaged the part he just hit. "I'm going to keep you sated, Trista. You will want for no one. I can guarantee you that."

His monster to cure me, ha!

We shall see Taylor.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Five

# Trista

We finally managed to emerge from the small office. After closing the door behind him, Taylor paused and looked into my eyes, without a word, he kissed me—slowly and deliberately. The sweet kiss evoked a feeling deep within me. It was unnerving and yet I couldn't stop him.

"No more throwing yourself at other men?" He asked as his eyes searched mine.

Definitely not, like I would want another summer fling when I got the monster boss around. "No more men." I gave him a chaste kiss and pulled us out of there. When we were back amongst folks, my eyes scanned the area for Alexandros, but he was nowhere to be found. I guess he figured out that Taylor was doing _me_ somewhere.

I hadn't realized that Taylor and I were holding each other's hands when we joined the rest of the table until Bass and the rest laughed at us. "Thank God you guys finally got that out your systems! It was rather intense to be around you two."

Taylor lightly smacked his head. "Shut it, Bass!" he sat and pulled me next to him, so I was in between him and Emma.

I bit my lip and smiled at Emma—who nodded in agreement. She leaned close, her lips close to my ear. "Fireworks, doll?" she smiled knowingly.

Busted!

A blush crept up my cheeks. "You betcha!" We both laughed at that.

Bass was telling Taylor and me that Lindsey was still out on the floor with Dimitris when Emma stood up and strode in the middle, a few inches from the table, looking more flawless than ever. Her legs looked endless and her simple, baby blue, fitted, cotton dress looked divine on her. It screamed be-jealous-of-my-hot-banging-body bitches! I'm sure most men were checking her out, but her glowing blue eyes were on Bass. "Dance with me," she asked him, a little shy.

It was odd to see someone be shy with the person who was fucking their brains out on a daily basis, and yet, here she was, timidly asking the man to dance with her.

Bass' eyes looked her up and down before he stood up and softly tugged on her dress. "Was it _this_ short when we left earlier?" he wondered out loud with a frown on his handsome face.

Taylor snorted. I poked him with my finger, shushing him.

That made Emma sigh. "Are you going to just check me out all night or are you going to dance with me? If not, I'm going to go look for a partner." Emma looked at him sternly, her patience running thin.

Bass gave her a harsh look. "Over my dead body, Emma." He then took her in his arms and led her to the dance floor. It seemed that Mo and Tanya wanted to dance, too, cause they followed the couple. Those two looked like they were hooking up, as well. Awesome.

"Aw man, now I gotta find my own chick. I didn't know we're pairing tonight!" Vincent de la Cruz muttered and left our table.

I watched him go before I turned to Taylor. "Why do you always snort, choke or laugh when Bass talks to Emma? Do you have something against her?"

Taylor's smile vanished quickly. "God no. I like Emma. I think she's pretty awesome. It's not her I'm laughing at. It's Bass. He's just not himself. He's not one to care about how short a dress is or get jealous. Seeing him all possessive about a woman for a change is... well, weird. I just never pictured him this way. It's just out of character, that's all."

"Oh, well that's great then, I wouldn't want Emma hurt." She had already had her fair share. Not to mention, Carter making his moves, and God knows what would happen if Bass learned of them. Fuck!

"Stop frowning. Come here and kiss me." Taylor plucked me off my seat and placed me on his leg. He kissed me thoroughly and deeply until we were both out of breath. "I want you again, but I shouldn't. Not until tomorrow." He informed me in between kisses.

_Um, say what?_ "Why the heck not?" I frowned at him, not liking this idea at all. Not. One. Little. Bit.

His fingers caressed the inside of my thigh. They were innocent strokes, but they were arousing me. Taylor kissed me again before he spoke. "I was too rough with you. You were tight and I should've taken my time and made sure you were ready to accommodate me, but I was too selfish to hold back. I needed to be inside you so bad, I couldn't think straight. I haven't been thinking straight since you flashed me your pussy that night in Ios."

"Well, you did a fine job and I want it again. Maybe tonight, you can sleep in my room?" The idea came out of nowhere, but it pleased me to know that we would do it on something soft. Other places were fine, but I wanted to know what it was like with Taylor on a bed.

"Can't, not tonight. You're sore and you need to heal. I don't want arguments about it, okay? Tomorrow, we have all day for me to make you come, but I promise to penetrate you once or twice. Then we can add more from there as the days pass. I just don't want you hurting."

What the fuck is wrong with him? I was waving my vagina in front of him and he's worried that I was sore? "No, Taylor. I want Monster Boss." Desperately. Soreness and pain be damned.

Taylor chuckled at my reference to his manhood. "No can do, Trista. You have to wait it out. Think of what I'll do to you tomorrow and how many times I can make you come."

Hell, this blows bubbles. "This sucks. You better be damned sure that you rain me with o's tomorrow."

"That I can promise you, my little starving hellcat."

When everybody finally convened back at our table, we were ready to go home. Lindsey was extremely quiet and when I asked her what the problem was, she just said to me "not right now, Tris". When I asked Emma about Lindsey's weird attitude, she expressed the same worry. _Lindsey was acting all weird and bizarre_. Well, _odd_ , didn't even cover it.

Vincent, Mo and Tanya left for their hotel and the rest of us went back to the apartment building Dimitris owned. It was four in the morning when the rest of us retired to our quarters.

Taylor and I were in my room, kissing against the wall since he was too much of a pussy to get on my bed. "I have to go," He finally whispered before he devoured my lips again. "Now."

No! I sighed. "You don't have to."

He cupped my cheeks, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. "I know, but I want to. Goodnight." He gave me a few more quick kisses before he parted from me. "Dream of me," Taylor said with a flirty smile before he finally left my room.

I stood there and stared at the floor. _My dreams... those I don't have a control of._ The dreams had been relentless. Every night, I dreamt of Harry, the man I loved.

I was startled when I woke up thrashing. My heart pounded like I had just run a marathon. My dreams tonight flashed through my head. Taylor's touch, his lips, his possession and those dirty lines he asked of me during sex kept replaying in my head. My hand reached out and dipped a finger inside my pussy, and sure enough I was soaked. I pulled my hand away and cursed. "Taylor! What the hell are you doing to me?" I mumbled out loud in total frustration. Frustrated was one thing. Being _sexually_ frustrated was a total killer.

I tried to train my breathing as my eyes closed. All I needed was to fall back to sleep and not think of sex, or Taylor, but after thirty minutes of trying, I was wired more than ever. "Fuck!" I cursed in desperation.

_Okay, maybe if I could just make myself come then, it might take the edge off, but how the heck do I do that?_ I recalled what Amber said when she found out I didn't know what the hell to do with it, one night during junior year. "Uh, Doll, even a nun knows how to touch herself. You need to get your groove on and focus on the clit. That's all. It's easy peasy."

In full concentration mode, I parted my legs and ever so slowly, my middle finger started to do what Taylor did earlier in the tiny office at the club. After a few minutes, I gave up. It didn't feel like how he did it. "How the fuck do I do this?" I was getting pissed off.

I needed a release so bad I was in pain.

Damn it to cocking hell and back. I was like an addict fiending for a quick fix. NOW.

Oh, fuck it! I was going to get some. I clenched my thighs together since I could feel my arousal, building as the time ticked away. Silently, I treaded out of my room and looked across the hall. Big problem. _Which room was Taylor's?_

He had to have chosen somewhere close since that man always watched me like a hawk. So, it was either the room across from me, the room next to it, or the room next to mine. I started with the room across from mine, and I found it was empty. I continued by looking into the room next to it. Again, there was no Taylor but Lindsey's things scattered around the room, but surprise, surprise, the woman wasn't in it. _Well, where else would she be?_ I wondered, amused.

Closing Lindsey's room quietly, I darted to the one next to my room. _I swear if he isn't in here, I will cut a bitch_.

My hand slowly turned the handle, pushing it to open. My feet were silent on the plush carpet. I closed the door with barely any sound. When I spun around, I could see Taylor's things inside the half-opened bathroom door. Still silent, I stealthily moved inside the bedroom. It was dark, but my eyes adjusted enough to make out the silhouette form on the bed. I stood there, immobilized, as I took in the beauty before me. Taylor slept with his arms behind his head, his abs on display and only a sheet covering his lower half, but it didn't mask the tent of his half-mast state. In his sleep, though lax, he still managed to look in control of everything.

Now that I was here, I suddenly felt unsure what to do next. Should I just hop on the bed and ride the joystick? What if he didn't wake, wouldn't that be rape? Well, he did say I could use him, didn't he? So, I did have his consent—sort of.

What was I thinking when I said I wasn't attracted to him in the beginning? Why was it that I couldn't seem to get enough of Taylor lately?

I didn't get it. I knew I still loved Harry, and yet I lusted for Taylor. The only reason that could justify my reactions was Taylor's mad skills. The man did know how to make me feel dirty and downright nasty. It was like he took all the modesty from me and made me his own personal slut. I had never been treated in such a ghastly way—the way he spoke to me during sex and how he roughly took me—but I shamefully loved it all. It was a novelty that I hadn't experienced before. Perhaps most perplexing of all, is that I hadn't expected a model/law student who was quite righteous to be so outrageously offensive. The icing that was a total surprise, too, was that I would get so turned on by his raunchiness.

For sure though, I wanted more of that raunchiness and that filthy mouth of his. I had one month to enjoy what Taylor could give me, and I hoped that after it all, I would go home with less of a shroud around me. I wasn't naïve to think that sex was the answer to my troubled life, but at least, I would go home with a better frame of mind. Maybe I would have enough resistance when I saw Harry. He was my in-law after all. I would eventually see him.

Lightly treading to get to where I wanted to be, I nervously slid on the bed. Moving a tad closer to him, I lavished the heat that radiated off his body. With a thudding heart, my eyes took in the contours of his face, from his sensual lips and his perfect nose to his arched brows, then lower to his shoulders and down to his abs—I wanted badly to touch him. My fingers itched to touch and my tongue drooled to get a taste.

Biting my lip, my forefinger reached out and lightly traced the deep ridges of his muscled abs. My finger stopped when Taylor shifted a bit and let out a soft moan. I froze, as did my finger that was half an inch away from his skin. _God, I've elevated to creepy stalker level_. Although, somehow, I couldn't help myself.

Emboldened, I used my thumb and finger to lift the soft end of the sheet, but before doing so, I glanced at his face to make sure he was still asleep. Sure enough, he was breathing evenly. This whole thing was beyond naughty, but I haven't been _this_ excited in a while.

_Please, be naked underneath_ , I repeated in my head, before I reverted back to focus on the task at hand, and started to lift the sheet off his hips. I had to bite my lip hard from gasping at the sight of his manhood. _Yeah, this fella was definitely a monster_. His penis was half-erect, thick at the head of the shaft and thicker girth. Even in this state, it could easily be about six inches. Now, I was curious how big this thing could really get when it's awake. Sure, I felt it earlier, but I never got the chance to see it up close and personal.

Inching closer, I sat on my legs and bent down close to his shaft. I made sure my other hand leveled me, so that I didn't have to lean on him. My eyes kept checking his face, to see if he was asleep or not. There was a small space in between his parted legs and I placed my right hand there. Wetting my lips, I slowly lowered my mouth to the crowned head of his manhood. It felt big, hot and absolutely wonderful. I used a little suction as my tongue roved in circles, counterclockwise then clockwise, in swift motions. Taylor shifted again, as his cock became harder.

I instantly paused and peered at his sleeping form. _Oh, fuck it!_ Let's see if I could wake up the Boss and monster at the same time. Immediately, I slid lower to take as much length as my mouth could accommodate. Hollowing my cheeks, I motioned my mouth to go back and forth, up and down his hard shaft, stopping only at the head while my tongue worked around it, gliding it through the crack of the engorged tip. I used this technique a few more times until Taylor started to roll his hips, inching his cock more in my mouth, moaning and grunting.

I wasn't a big fan of blowjobs really. It took dedication and hard work with any man, but now with _this_ monster, it was harder since there wasn't much space left in my mouth for me to work with. When I realized that his cock was rock hard for me, I readied myself. On my knees, I hunched slightly over his naked form, parted my legs and slowly lowered myself to the tip of his cock. I had to make sure my knees were rooted on both side of his hips before I went any further. I teased the head a few times with my wet entrance and let out a soft moan. _Amazing_ was all I could think. My ravenous appetite hit me full-force and I inched myself slowly down, a delicious current shot through me as I lowered myself a little over halfway down his shaft. Curious, I lifted my lingerie and checked out how far I needed to go to reach the base and saw that I had a little over a quarter to go. It didn't matter since all I needed was to orgasm and leave him in peace.

_Shit, who said size doesn't matter? Because seriously, whoever said that hasn't experienced a good monster._ Men like Taylor just filled you in a different way. It would be impossible to go back to something normal-sized after this, for sure.

I moaned loudly when my hips started to roll slowly, riding him gently. "Oh fuck!" I yelped when I sunk a little lower on his length. I was keeping a measured pace, to be sure my pussy didn't swallow this thing whole—or I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow. With my eyes closed, it was easier to just feel him and get lost in the beautiful feeling it produced.

"Trista!" I heard Taylor screech, breaking my concentration.

I looked at him innocently. "Yes?"

Taylor seemed like he didn't know if he was going to be angry or fuck me. "What are you doing? We had an agreement," his hollowed voice dragged out as his cock twitched and expanded inside me. A hungered moan came out of my lips when he did that. I shifted a bit and started to rock him again.

"We did. You told me I could _use_ you, right? Well, this is me _using_ you." I took off my silk lingerie as I rode his cock with violent determination. Nothing mattered then but the glorious feeling I was experiencing. I was maniacal, carnal and out of my mind from sexual rapture.

Taylor savagely moaned and grabbed both of my butt cheeks, spreading them apart before he started to ground me harder on his cock. "Squeeze my cock, baby. Milk it, harder," he demanded harshly.

I would do anything as long as he kept that filthy talk going. My pussy clenched around him like a glove, hard as he requested. I sobbed at the intensity it brought because Taylor was not letting up with his hard grinding. With crucial friction from his size and his frantic grinding, I became crazed from the amplified intensity, magnified hunger and multiplied pleasure it delivered.

"Fuck, that's my good little slut," he growled out with passion. My body broke out in sweat as I rode him harder. He took one hand off my ass and started to tease my clit with his thumb. The relentless digit rubbed my clit in acute circles while his other hand gripped me to ride him harder. "Come for me. Grant my cock some gratitude, little whore."

I couldn't. It was too much. I felt like I was going to burst into pieces. I felt like a balloon, with air being pumped into it without caution, ready to pop as it filled to its capacity "Taylor... I don't think... I... too much," I sobbed, my body shaking from the powerful, acute burning sensation of my orgasm, readying to be unleashed from my body. My palm landed on his stomach, trying to steady the craziness that was too much for me to take, but Taylor slapped it away.

"You came to me in my sleep to get an orgasm. I'm doing as you asked. I won't stop until you can't fuck anymore." Taylor took hold of my hips and rolled me on my back. With my ankles on his shoulders, and his hands full on my breasts, he kissed me with wild abandon. He growled each time his cock pummeled me with fervor. "Let me see how beautiful you come, Trista. Show me what my cock can do to your body."

I screamed bloody murder when he bit into my neck at the same time my orgasm trumpeted out from my very core, bursting with such fevered wrath as it unleashed itself from its containment. It was a tidal wave of kaleidoscopic euphoria in its most primal exquisite form.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Six

# Trista

Shock didn't even cover what I felt at the moment. I was panting noisily, eyes focused on the ceiling to calm my quaking body when Taylor started to kiss my face. "Are you okay?" he murmured in between kisses. I beamed at his teasing tone. _Hell to the yes!_

"Wow. You're amazing." I wanted to add, "and I am officially addicted to you", but refrained from doing so. He might think I was in love with him or something, and I did not want to complicate things further.

When he pushed his cock further hitting against my cervix, I unexpectedly flinched from the alien feeling. One thing was blatantly obvious though, he was still in a hard, solid form. "Did you come? I wasn't paying attention, sorry."

He laughed as he nibbled on my lips. "I haven't, but it's okay. In case you forgot, you rode me without a condom on. I'm clean, but you were persistent about wearing one earlier. I didn't want to assume that it's okay for me to come inside you."

_That,_ I had forgotten. "You could always pullout, if you want."

Taylor peered at me with his brows furrowed. "You sure? It's fine really." He eyed me with an arched brow before a slow smile formed on his scrumptious lips. "Well, unless you're using that as an excuse so you could get another orgasm? You don't have to be coy about it, you know."

Hah. "Maybe, but I feel bad that you haven't. I practically raped you in your sleep." I bit back a smile when I admitted my crime of seduction.

Taylor rolled his hips and started to stroke me with vigor. "Rape away because I will take my own liberties with your body. I think that's a decent exchange," he answered, a feverish rasp in his voice. Pleasurable satisfaction was etched on his face as he cupped my ass, opening me more for him to go deeper.

Hell, the thought of Taylor using me for his pleasure evoked and flamed a new hunger within me. "I'm counting on it."

Gone was the guy who was in control earlier. Taylor was now possessed with potent lust as he sought his own release. It was raw and primitive, and all I could do was lift my hips higher so I could offer him more satisfaction. "Fuck, baby." He grunted in between his labored breathing.

His body was starting to tighten up and I knew he was close to completion. "You can pull out and come in my mouth if it's better for you." I offered, knowing he would love it more.

My pussy got wetter when he growled loudly in my ear. "Fuck, I love it when you talk like this. It makes me want to fuck you harder." Just as he finished delivering those words, he showed me _how_ hard he could go. Everything pounded around me. My head, my heart, the headboard, and my vagina and of course, Taylor. He was now hitting the outside of my cervix, the engorged head pushing against my sensitive walls, demanding more access to my depths. It was painful; a needle like stab, but it also brought great amounts of pleasure. The more he repeated his strokes, my body started to get used to the combination of exquisite torture it gave me.

"Get on your knees. I'm coming." Taylor barked out. After a few more strokes, he stood on the bed. I obediently got on my knees and opened my mouth to him. His hand held the back of my head as he fucked my mouth. His head hit the back of my throat. I gagged as he did this a few more times, until his hot semen shot out. "Fuck, Trista!" Taylor howled as his dick still pulsated inside my mouth, unloading all of his seed until none was left. When his breathing evened out, he looked down at me, his shaft still lodged in my mouth. Watching him, I sucked his length a few more times before releasing it with a loud popping sound. His eyes glittered as he watched me swallow his cream. "God, that's so sexy."

I grinned at him. "You're welcome, pretty boy. Now, go back to sleep. We have to wake up soon." I was referring to our island hopping tomorrow with the rest of the gang.

In a flash, he was next to me on the bed. His arms wrapped around mine. "You got a point, but this fine body's not leaving this bed. You're sleeping with me tonight, Trista." I tried to protest, but he wasn't interested in hearing me. "I made those rules earlier to give you space, slow things down a bit, but you didn't pay attention." He was kissing me again, lowering us on the pillows. He shifted until we were spooning, his face on the back of my neck and arm around me. His fingers stroked the valleys of my breasts. "Stay. You'll sleep better in my arms, anyway. Furthermore, I've got amazing skills with which to wake you." His hot breath tickled my ear.

"You're such a cocky monster, pretty boy. Fine, just for tonight." I conceded, giving in to his demands.

He was right, though. I liked sleeping in his arms.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Seven

# Trista

We boarded the luxurious five-bedroom motor yacht from the port in Piraeus at ten in the morning. It consisted of a crew of thirteen with a humorous Captain Abram Christou to take the lead. There were four men and three women onboard who were about our age. The women of course gawked at the guys. They were in awe to meet the Greek hunk, the hot stud model, but of course, they blushed and threw girly glances when Bass was introduced as Mr. Cole.

" _Meester_ Cole, I'm Katarina. It's good pleas _uuu_ re to _meetz_ youu," the brunette, green-eyed purred at _Meester_ Bass.

When Bass shook her hand, though he was polite, I still caught his eye check her out. So, not cool, dude.

_Was the bitch blind?_ Emma was right next to Bass. I could tell she was boiling rockets, but refrained herself from busting out something. She wouldn't embarrass Bass like that. Although, I wanted to pull the other woman's hair out. She was _exotic with an accent._ It was a big red alert. __ The other hot two introduced themselves as Sonia and Bridgette. Sonia, on the other hand, threw shy glances at Taylor.

Once we were led towards the salon, I caught up with Taylor and threw him a glance. "Cute brunette on board."

"I didn't know you swung the other way, is this a warning that I'll be in a battle for your attention?" Taylor pulled me next to him and kissed my forehead.

I folded my arms and raised a brow at him. "Do I look like I eat pseudo raw, fishy squishy to you?"

Lindsey leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You know you once did it, babe."

All five sets of eyes spun around to watch my reaction. I'm sure the men were interested in the damn subject. "Hey! No fair. It was spin the bottle back in my senior year in high school. _Bleeh_ , I didn't even like it. Shit's nasty man."

"I would've loved to have seen that!" Taylor said laughing, followed by the other four murmuring the same sentiments.

Whatever, we all did a lot of stupid stuff back in the day, so I wasn't perturbed about their sparked interest about that particular subject.

We were all in the cream and mahogany salon eating brunch. The U-shaped all-around glass windows overlooked the beautiful Aegean Sea. In the other half of the room, the glass doors were wide open and the salty breeze wafted through, giving a nice, calm presence as we ate our meal.

Since there were five bedrooms, Emma and Bass took one, Dimitris, Lindsey, Taylor and me all had our own respective rooms. When I entered mine, I was shocked to find that the room was surrounded with twelve by twelve mirrors. _Well, whoever designed this room was a total horndog_. Like the color theme from the salon, this one was cream and mahogany with hints of nautical blue.

"Captain said we're nearing Koufonisia. Who wants to go snorkeling or kayaking with me?" Bass yelled through the hallway outside our doors forty-five minutes later.

"Not me, I just want to relax," I called out. I'd rather enjoy the view of the island and the sea from the yacht, thank you. Last night's orgasmic events took a large toll on my body. Though sexually satiated, my body needed rest and I was more than happy to oblige that physical need.

The boys went kayaking and Lindsey was adamant about getting tanned, but she wanted to do it upfront on the deck—with the male crew about.

"You know Dimitris will not be pleased with that right? He's Greek and them fellas are possessive with their ladylove." I peered at her as we all took towels from the towel basket.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not anyone's woman. Who cares if he's Greek? Greek or not, some men are just possessive. Let's test this theory with Mister Bass Cole himself when he gets back. I can just see the dude blowing a gasket." Lindsey was now speaking to Emma as we started to walk towards the front deck.

Emma groaned with annoyance. "I don't care. Don't pretend you two didn't see that lingering onceover he gave Katarina. I confronted him about it. It's petty, but hell jealousy totally sucks. He basically told me it was a natural reaction and I shouldn't think any more of it. Bass is not the kind that cheats, I know that. It just sucks because I don't have the right to be jealous, really. It's not like we're _officially_ together or anything."

_Say what?_ "Uh, dude. What are you talking about? You and Bass are so on." I immediately spouted out.

Lindsey stopped walking and spun around with a big frown on her face. "Not officially together? What the hell are you guys? Fuck buddies? Cause it sure doesn't look like that to me."

Emma bit her lip, her indicator when she was confused or not sure about something. "We started all of this with an agreement. We're exclusive here in Greece and until we're done filming, but we haven't really spoken about any of it. It's fine. I mean we still have a couple more months to go until the real world."

If she was trying to convince herself, then she had a long way to go. Emma was obviously bothered by it, but she hadn't brought the subject up to Bass. I wondered why. More importantly, I wondered if Carter had to do with her staying mum on the subject.

"You and Bass will be good, don't worry. He's crazy about you, Boo. Now come on, let's get some sun and get drunk." Lindsey gave her a bright smile before dragging us both to the deck.

After we climbed the short steps, the large, white polished expanse of the spot made the perfect location to sunbathe. "Sweet. I can actually see the guys from here." I looked out onto the sea. The red kayaks looked like small dots from the deck.

"Will you stop checking out your stud muffin and lay out your towel already?" Lindsey yelled from behind me. "We get that you got laid woman, but being cock-struck is so not you."

Emma laughed and smacked Lindsey's ass with her bunched towel. "Oh, shut up, look who's talking. I knocked on your door earlier, but you were too busy in the bathroom. I'm sure you spent more time scrubbing the tiles with your back than washing the dirt away."

Lindsey busted out with a loud, high-pitched laugh. "Shit, fine I'm not even going to play embarrassed here. Trista and I forgot to tell you, though, that we saw you and Bass as he plowed you hard. That man's ass was mighty fine."

Emma was stunned, cheeks inflamed. Her blue eyes popped out of its sockets. "You didn't! Oh my God! You guys are insane!"

"Oh, please! It's great to know that the guy my friend is with is pretty talented. You like that nasty talk while you guys are doing the deed?" Lindsey glanced at her as she rolled her towel, both Emma and I followed in the opposite sides.

"Are you kidding me? That's one of the hottest parts. Bass is insatiable. I think the day that he doesn't touch me will clearly tell me that he's done with me." Emma looked out at the sea with a frown.

The girls were talking as my thoughts reverted back to last night. I was still in shock how Taylor and I progressed, but I wasn't complaining. Monster Boss was pure dynamite.

"Seeing you look all dreamy and shit, so how is Taylor in the sack? The guy looks like he can throw down some serious punch." Lindsey wiggled her eyebrows, grinning like an idiot.

"Let's just say pretty boy is now Monster Boss. It's that huge. Shit, I felt like I was being attacked and I was trapped. Like a true damsel, I had to surrender to it, you know."

Emma stood up and sat next to me. "Good for you. What other way to go have fun with a guy like Taylor. Bass tells me that he's a good guy. He also tells me that he takes women seriously. So, you're in good hands."

Good stud, I wanted to add, but we were distracted by multiple beeping sounds coming from Lindsey's iPad. We both focused on Lindsey as she went through her messages. "What? Facebook and Twitter. I had to update about where we are, duh! Let's pose and make Plastic Tits jealous."

_Cece, who else?_ "I fucking hate that skank," Emma hissed at the mention of the woman who messed up her love life with Carter. Well, one of five, anyway.

Lindsey sat in between us and pointed the camera above us. "Come on. One, two, three say monster boss!" She took a few shots before she checked them out. "Damn, Emma's boobies are huge and so are yours, Tris. Mine look off. It sucks that I'm in the land of big bosoms. Anyway, we look hot shizzle. I'm going to put a header like 'New actress Emma Anderson sunbathing with her sexy tatertots.' Okay, now there it goes." Lindsey announced as she flipped the cover back and stashed it on the side.

Lindsey started cussing when her cellphone started shrilling. Emma and I stared at her while she picked up the call, pissed off. "What? I'm still alive and breathing. I haven't been kidnapped." She rolled her eyes. "Where am I? If you must know, I'm taking a major shit at the moment, with the runs and all." Her face broke out with a grin and started laughing. "Seriously, you shouldn't be watching movies like _Taken_ if it turns you into a paranoid man." She frowned again as she studied her nails. "I'm in Greece, not Turkey. Well I'm somewhere in the Aegean Sea on a yacht rented out by Bass." Lindsey sighed. "Yes, she is. No, no. Come on! Dude! Fine, fine. But I think it's completely stupid. Okay, gosh seriously, okay." She then handed her phone to Emma, who looked stricken. "Carter."

Emma's neck muscles came out as she stared at the phone, frozen in time. She then looked at me and then to Lindsey.

Ah, shiznits. "You don't have to..." I trailed off, knowing she had a lot of questions for Carter at the moment.

Well, I was caught by surprise when she actually took the phone and strode towards the tipping point of the deck before she finally took the call. Her back was to us, giving us a nice show of her electric blue bikini-clad body. Lindsey and I sat quietly, but we could barely hear anything from her. After five minutes, she finally walked back to us.

"What do I do with your brother, Lindsey?" Emma voiced out as she handed her phone back to her.

Lindsey sighed, shrugging. "He's in love, apparently. I don't know why he had to fuck up big time for him to realize just how much you meant to him. I told him that you'd moved on, Em, but he's not listening. From what I've seen and heard, he's not even screwing or seeing anyone. Now, that's shocking. Guess he's serious about this whole idea of winning you back."

Emma shook her head and went to her towel. She sat there brooding.

If Lindsey ever found out how serious, I think she'd be shocked. That sapphire ring sealed the commitment aspect for me. If I were Emma, I'd be all messed up by now. Okay, Carter fucked-up, but when they were together, they were great, too. He was crazy about _his Emma_. The bigger question was how could a woman ever let go of someone like Bass? It didn't matter if both men were still in that heart of hers because Bass clearly had to step-up and fucking claim her before they got back to LA, before Carter got a chance to weave his way in and break that barrier she had against him.

Lindsey was looking at her with concern. "He still affects you." She concluded as a statement, a fact, not a question. "Shit!"

I suddenly came to Emma's defense. "They were together for a while and in love at that. Even if they broke up after that boathouse incident, they still made out a few times afterwards. _That was what?_ _Five weeks ago?_ I don't blame her being affected by Carter. It's natural to feel like that towards someone you love."

Lindsey shook her head as she placed her sunglasses on. "I don't know. We had this similar conversation before you went back to my brother, remember? You chose him over Bass. I want you to be happy, that's all I care about. If you do think about it, just know that a man like Bass Cole will not take second rejection lightly. In a sense, Bass and I are alike in that department. I could just tell by the way he talks, his beliefs and how he treats people. He's a great man, but he has limitations, Em. No matter how crazy you are about a person, without trust, that's shit goes downhill pretty fast. Just be careful, okay?"

Emma nodded before responding. "Yeah, I will."

_Was that what happened with Brody?_ Must be. Lindsey seriously forbade us from ever speaking his name while on vacation. Yes, we were on a yacht on _vacation_ and yet we were all so depressed. "Right, now that we got the bad doo-doo out of the way, can we have some fun now?" I threw my sunglasses at Lindsey.

She stuck a tongue at me and handed her iPad over. "Here, bust out some good beats while I go get those guys to make us some drinks and cater to us."

I arched my brow at Emma when Lindsey left us. Emma simply smiled and started to untie the string from her back. She was on her chest with her eyes closed. "Good music, please," she mumbled.

"Yes, missy." The playlist I chose had Kesha, Maroon 5, Rihanna, LMFAO among others. We certainly needed upbeat songs to lift Emma's spirits.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Eight

# Trista

Lindsey came back with the four, buff crewmen dressed in white cargo shorts and white, crewneck, cotton shirts. One of the men with brown hair and brown eyes held a tray of champagne flutes containing pink liquid topped with frothy pink stuff, while the second man had a tray of snacks. The third had stacks of towels and the fourth one had all types of lotions and oils in a silver bucket.

The guy with the champagne flutes came over and handed me one. "Strawberry bellini." He then gave one to Emma before handing one to Lindsey.

"Trista, this is Jacques. He's French and he's going to be your masseuse." Lindsey referred to the guy who handed us our drink. She sounded so blasé about it, like we did this on a daily basis.

_Holy shit_ , Lindsey worked fast. _Was this even allowed?_

"Antonis and Gino here will take care of Emma." She directed the two Greek men to Emma, whose eyes sparkled mischievously.

Yeah, who wouldn't if you had two men to cater to you?

"I get Preston here." Lindsey downed her drink and turned onto her stomach.

Was I the only one who was shy and hesitant here? Emma had her eyes closed as one of her men started to work on her hand, the other on her foot. "Do you want me to untie your bikini?" Jacques said in fluent English with a hotter-than-thou French accent. His hand was located on the tied strings on my spine.

"Sure, untie away," I mumbled. It was somehow erotic when he applied the oil on my back and on my legs. My shyness dissolved as the Frenchman worked his magic on my back. Trust Lindsey to distract Emma in the most awesome way. Now, I couldn't really blame rich housewives cheating on their husbands if you had guys like these at your beck and call.

To be quite honest, I think Lindsey's plan was to rouse some emotion out of Bass. This was Lindsey's vindictive, evil twin working. I was sure that the whole once-over Bass gave to that woman earlier was noted, especially since we knew the whole exotic brunette with an accent preference of his. The agreement Bass and Emma had bothered Lindsey. _Then let's not forget Dimitris_. Lindsey meant well, but if I ever had confided about what I had gone through with Harry then, I don't think he would've survived it. Since Lindsey lost her parents in that tragic accident, she held her friends close to her heart and went overboard to protect us sometimes. That's Lindsey, passionate and feisty to the very core.

I was drifting in and out of sleep when I faintly heard Bass's chatty voice from afar. I could hear footsteps drawing near, and so I twisted my head to the other side, away from where they were approaching. Bass was now on the stairs and Taylor was with him, talking. "Missed out on ice climbing last year, but this year is on. It's a blast— _What the hell Emma!_ "

Heck, I was way too curious not to watch Bass Cole lose it before my eyes, so I turned my head back to watch the action. Bass was shooting daggers at the guys who were touching Emma. When they tried to apologize and started to leave, Emma interrupted. "It's fine Antonis and Gino, please continue." The guys went back to kneading her shoulders and her thighs. She then spoke to the golden boy. "Bass, don't be an ass. It's only a massage. _Think nothing of it_. I'll see you in a bit."

My eyes flickered towards Taylor who simply shook his head and left the scene. Yeah, we were definitely involved at only a physical level; no more no less.

"If you want a massage then I will give you one."

"Honestly, Bass two hands to four? I'm good." Emma then turned her head away from him. It was a cue for Bass to leave her alone, but that gesture didn't sway him.

Damn, she was beyond jealous with that Katarina woman.

"I'm giving you sixty seconds. If you don't get up and wrap that towel around you, I'm going to haul your ass out of here, with or without that bikini top. I don't think I deserve to suffer like this, Emma."

_And just like that!_ Emma dismissed the guys and went to tie her bikini back on. "You're crazy, you know that? I was actually enjoying myself."

Bass pulled her up and kissed her nose. "You have no idea how crazy I am about you." He kissed her a few times before speaking again. "You knew one guy touching your thighs was enough to drive me insane, but add another who was massaging your back and the side of your boobs, well that was just asking for trouble." Bass looked at us, shaking his head. "Pretty women with angelic smiles, those are the kind men need to watch out for."

Lindsey snorted at that. "Angelic is never associated with me. I don't know if I should be offended by that, _or am I losing my touch?_ " She teased, smiling at Bass.

Emma let out a loud yawn. Bass held her hip then directed his eyes on me. "Want me to get Taylor?"

_Um, why?_ I waved my finger at him and Emma. "Taylor and I aren't like you guys. We're just enjoying each other in a physical sense. Fuck buddies, plain and simple."

Both the girls laughed at my crudeness, but Bass seemed confused. "Gotcha. See you ladies later." Emma made another yawn. Without warning, Bass effortlessly plucked her off her feet with her head on his shoulder. "You're tired, babe."

Lindsey and I watched the blonde couple depart from our sight. "Yeah, he's not going anywhere." Lindsey and I agreed.

After another half an hour, we decided to leave and nap in our quarters. I borrowed Lindsey's iPad to check on my funds and a few other things. Still with my bikini on, I sat on my bed and did what I had to do. After checking my bank account and sending an email to my father, I logged onto Facebook. I wanted to check Lindsey's page and see what she'd been posting on there. As I suspected, her page was full of her in a bikini, her dancing with us, and the places she'd been to. What did surprise me, though, was that there were no pictures of Bass, Taylor and Dimitris—and that woman took tons of pictures. After going through my newsfeed, I paused and made a loud gasp. Becka, my cousin, had posted her ultrasound pictures. _Meet our baby boy, Anthony!_ It said. I stared at those black and white pictures with anguish and a longing so powerful; I started to rock with sobs. Everything I had successfully pushed to the back of my mind was back in full, brutal force. Memories of my time with Harry, the pregnancy and the inevitable termination then, sadly, back to my last conversation with Harry. My stomach felt like something was clawing at it, sucking the breath out of me, drawing me back into the arms of its darkness; welcoming me back with sick and twisted determination. "No more," I cried out in vain.

It was gutting me alive, choking me until I was too weak to fight it. I curled up —eyes wide open with endless tears—staring blankly at the mirrored wall; truly seeing my shattered self for the first time. _Look at you, get up and fight yourself out of this rut, Trista_ , my reflection urged me. How did one get out of their own shadowed shackles? "Harry... what have you done to me?" I said to myself.

After another ten minutes, I found the strength to go to the bathroom and splash my face with cold water. My eyes burned behind their sockets and, when I scanned my reflection, my eyes were bloodshot. Something happened when I surveyed my pathetic image. There was a hard spark in my eyes reminding me to move my butt in gear. It was as if I was jolted back to life and out of my depressing funk. I started pulling myself back together; some eye drops helped my eyes appear less noticeably red and I started to concentrate on my breathing. I willed myself to breathe deeply, one, two, three; repeating this a few times before I marched out of my room and down to Taylor's door. I took a moment to make sure I was, in fact, composed now and then knocked a few times before I let myself inside.

Taylor was on his bed with his back to the headboard. His chest was bare and he only wore his black boxer-briefs with his laptop on his thighs, and he was typing away. A few moments passed before he managed to look up with a frosted gaze. "Yes?" he cuttingly asked before he went back to whatever it was he was working on.

I hadn't anticipated this polar ice demeanor. "Are you busy?" It was a lame question because it was obvious to me that he was, but I wasn't ready to leave. I needed to distract myself with him.

"If you came here to find some release, then say so," the arctic man said without looking up at me.

_Damn, why was he acting like a complete dick?_ "Yeah, I came for that." I should have been a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I wasn't. Shame wasn't a part of me anymore.

Without looking up, Taylor closed his laptop and placed it atop the mahogany side table. He scooted in the middle of the king-sized bed, pulled his briefs off and chucked them to the side. He then placed his hands over his head, in his majestic naked glory, before he seared me with his gaze. "Have a go at it, Trista." A part of me wanted to slap him, but a part of me was beyond excited at his rotten demeanor. I strode to the bed and joined him. "Push those bikini triangles to the side of your breasts. I want to see them while you suck me off." He commanded nonchalantly.

Biting my lip, I slid the bikini triangles to the side of my boobs, pushing them up—making them look like fuck-me tits—and exposed them to him. When I positioned myself to take him on the side of his hips, he stopped me. "Go in between my legs. I get a better view that way."

_Fucker!_ Make this difficult for me why don't you, I thought to myself. His cock was already hard. It certainly didn't need me to suck it to get him started, but he was being a total, controlling dickwad. Ticked off, I complied with his request and got in between his strong legs. From this vantage point, his penis looked bigger. Even though I was pissed at his demanding attitude, it hadn't escaped me to appreciate how gorgeous he was. His magnificent body, golden, chiseled and ripped filled my wanton eyes. Yes, though I hated his guts at the moment, my hunger for him overrode common sense. "Don't use any hands," his majesty threw out another obnoxious demand.

If I was in tip-top condition, I would've spat back at him, but I wasn't. I was the one who interrupted him for a quickie, so I wasn't in the position to complain.

I could feel the weight of his gaze as he watched me put both hands on his thighs, the pads of my fingers clutching his hard muscles as I bent over and took the head of his shaft in my hot mouth. A tiny drop of pre-cum came out of the engorged slit when my lips made contact with his member. I gingerly ran the tip of my tongue to wipe his rock hard cock clean and then started to work my way slowly down the silken length of him. No sound or reaction came from the man while I worked on his member until he spoke yet another demand, "Look at me while you work on my cock, Trista." I glanced at his stony face, but found no emotion there. If it weren't for the massive erection, I wouldn't have any indication that he was aroused. I disconnected our gaze, not wanting to look at his expressionless face any longer, and he spoke up again, "I didn't tell you that you could look away."

Here I was, sucking him off, and yet he was still flying mad, making demands left and right. I met his glare, once more, darting him a hateful look as I worked on his cock. Through his eyes, I felt his brutal anger as those beautiful orbs penetrated my being. "Crying more tears for the man you love, I see." I almost choked on his dick at his directness. "Get on your knees and face the foot of the bed; eyes and face ahead, looking at the mirror."

"Can we just get this over with?" I complained after I effortlessly released his shaft.

Taylor merely shrugged. "The door's open Trista. You were the one who sought pleasure." Meaning, you could get out if you wouldn't follow simple instructions.

Inside, I was enraged, but still managed to throw him a spiteful stare. "Well, geez. You were already hard before I gave you a blowjob. It's not like I'm the only one who needed it."

That remark got to him. He barked out an evil laugh, like what I just told him tickled his fancy. "Who said I was hard for _you_? Do as I asked you or you can go back to your room frustrated."

_Yeah, Trista. You're not the only woman around. Taylor doesn't even find you attractive._ Brunette, I was not.

He was right. He was probably hard for that little exotic, Sonia, for all I knew, and it made me feel like crap thinking that he might have been lusting for some other woman. Grudgingly, I followed his instructions—all fours and eyes on the mirror—watching him get on his knees with his proud cock a mast of sexuality in front of him. His hands only untied the left side of my bikini bottoms, but ignored the other one, so they limply hung on my hips, just loose enough to expose my moist condition. "Arch your back, lift your ass higher."

He was now situated in between my legs as his eyes skimmed my exposed, glistening womanhood. His middle finger traced the outer slit, teasing it with a soft touch. My wetness seeped out of me as his feather soft strokes drove me to become desperate. The pad of his finger was now coated with my essence as it slid back and forth with a hypnotizing motion. "How badly do you need to be fucked?" Taylor asked, his eyes watching the mirror. He sounded like a bored science teacher who had asked the same question to thousands of students over the years.

The wanton part of me was awake and desperate for him. "Badly, no more teasing, please." Taylor wasn't doing anything other than the light brushing of his middle finger and it was pure, torture.

In the blink of an eye I was against his hard chest, still facing our reflections in the mirror. His eyes cruelly penetrated me as I watched him brush his lips against my left ear. "Next time, try to not to air our business with everyone. They didn't know about what we've been doing, nor does Bass need to know about us being 'fuck buddies'." Taylor hissed at me. His eyes were like cold knives splitting me in two.

_Bass was a blabber?_ "What did Bass say?"

"Bass didn't say anything. I came back to get you, but I changed my mind after your nice announcement."

Hell, he heard that? Well, it was the truth, but I knew I shouldn't have said it so casually, especially when Bass was around. I suppose I did deserve his wrath. "It won't happen again." I promised.

The tip of his tongue grazed my ear. "Good," he murmured as his left hand teased my nipple, twisting and pulling, while his tongue and lips worked their way down my neck. "I expect..." he trailed off as his other free hand ran in between the crack of my buttocks—finding its way to my throbbing core—before parting my wet folds; "...nothing less."

A loud gasp came from me when he stuck two fingers inside my dripping canal. I finally understood that Taylor loved multi-torture. He was truly the master of it. My body fought the turbulent ache that was going in all directions, causing me to writhe and pant like an animal in heat. "Hurry," I begged him with utmost desperation. I quickly growled when he released me from his ministrations.

"On your knees and elbows, Trista."

Not a word of complaint was spoken by me as I positioned myself in accordance with his directions. My eyes watched as he stroked his cock, one hand spreading my ass cheeks. My pussy clenched and unclenched at the thought of taking his cock again. I was heated with anticipation and hungered for his domination.

"Ahhh," I hissed back when I felt the large, fat tip of his shaft run over my parted slit. Taylor started to rub the full length of him against my wet, dripping mound, in no hurry to penetrate me. His hands gripped my ass as he did so. When I thought I was going to die from the exquisite feeling of him rubbing against me, I felt the tip of his cock slowly pierce my opening. He did it in such a way that I felt my muscles slowly expand to accommodate his size. After he got the head inside me, he pulled out—frustrating every fiber of my being—and thrust two fingers inside my core instead. "Taylor!" I screeched as my ass pushed harder against his hand, willing him to go deeper into me, begging for release.

Nothing mattered other than his possessive fingers. They were relentless, flicking and rubbing with such voracious intensity that it didn't surprise me when I came hard and fast, instantly in need of more of those glorifying highs.

When Taylor pulled his fingers out, I expected for him to use his penis, but I was surprised when he just gave my ass a light smack. "There! Now you've had you're orgasm. You can go now."

You have got to be joking! "What do you mean? You aren't going to fuck me?"

He shook his head, suddenly looking bored. "Nope. My penis is not functioning properly today, sorry."

_Was he for real?_ His cock was a rigid purple. Monster was truly and undoubtedly functioning in my opinion. "Are you fucking kidding me? It's _fine_ from where I'm looking."

Taylor sighed and got into his sheets before responding to me. "I don't feel like fucking you, Trista. Maybe you can try again tonight or tomorrow." He then had the audacity to close his eyes and feign sleep.

Mother fucking shit! _That's it!_

"I'm not putting up with your megalomaniac self. This shit's through!" Horrified from his pompous audacity, I stomped out of that room so fast that I felt light headed.

## Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Nine

# Trista

The yacht anchored in Santorini just before a sunset, which cast a beautiful glow over the gorgeous city. There were a lot of yachts anchored around. Not close, but enough to be able to see them. Dimitris informed us that, most times, other yachts anchor next to another so they can party together. "I'm hosting one of those parties after Blasphemous wraps up. You guys should come. It's a ton of fun." Dimitris invited us as he sipped his red wine.

"You can count me in." Taylor added with enthusiasm. The idiot hadn't looked at me once tonight.

I was saddened that our sexual agreement was over, but, oh well, there were more fish in the Aegean Sea, right?

Bass eyed Emma. "Are you going? It's going to be fun. I went last year and the year before, those times it was held in the South of France."

She shook her head smiling, "I'm sure it is, but I can't, I have school after Blasphemous. You guys carry on with your shenanigans."

Both Lindsey and I chimed the same answer to Dimitris.

We dined al fresco with the chef's seafood specialties, the food brought out by the three girls—Sonia, Katarina and Bridgette.

When the guys started discussing their own stuff, the three of us took the two-loveseat settees close to the dining table and enjoyed our wine there.

"Ugh, I got an email about the dorm renewal form today. I'm so sick of living there. Do you want to rent an apartment with me Em?" Lindsey asked, hopeful.

"Sure, let's get a place that's right on the beach. Is that okay?"

Ever since Amber left for New York, I spent most of my time with Emma and Lindsey. Back in the day, we would hang out every other day. In those times, Amber and I did our thing together. We were close, but we're much closer now. Now that I'd bonded with these two, listening to them talk about getting a new place made me feel left out. "How about renting a house? Then Amber and I could move in with you guys." I added, smiling. "Just as long as Lindsey stops waking me up, I mean." Yeah, I hated how she tended to wake people up.

Lindsey squealed. "Shit! That's perfect. Then I could watch Amber more closely and we could have house parties all weekend long. Oh, oh, I've got it. I'll be back in a minute!" She took hold of her phone and left with it.

"She sure looked ecstatic to me," Emma spoke over the rim of her wineglass. "Make sure you buy a lock so she can't barge in your room. I've already planned to hit Home Depot once I get back home."

_Brilliant! That solves my problem_. "Will do! Now, I have something to look forward to. This is going to be cray-cray. We should have a sign that says 'Skankerettes not allowed' to keep 'em away." We both laughed at the thought of that.

It took two minutes for Lindsey to return. "It's all taken care of. We're moving in to that house with the humungous windows in the kitchen that looks out over the shore." Emma and I must have a big question mark on our foreheads because she started to explain herself. "I was on my laptop all afternoon looking for good places to rent once I read that email. Uncle promised to take care of it immediately. So, it's pretty much a done deal."

Emma cleared her throat. "Isn't that house a block away from Carter's?" she whispered.

"Yeah, but it's not like _he's_ going to live there with us. It's the perfect spot. We're close to the strip so we could have access to do more things there. Besides, just think of all those muscular pieces of perfection jogging along the beach while we sip our coffees in the morning. If that doesn't sound like heaven to you, then you're a total lesbian."

That sounded freaking perfect! "I'd love to enjoy my coffee with a dash of some sweaty, muscled specimens of masculinity to ogle."

Emma threw a tiny piece of cheese at me. "You're hopeless. Fine, fine, fine! Just promise me that if we ever get into arguments, we will all discuss it together. Not like we ever do have major issues, but it can get catty for some girls when they live in the same place. Just no talking shit behind each other's backs, okay?"

"Promise." I raised my glass at the two of them.

Lindsey did the same. "Yeah, that's pretty common living with a bunch of girls, but we're better than that. I trust you all with my life and that's saying a lot."

"Damn straight, Doll. I heart to heart your sentiment because I feel the same." I raised my glass again and blew them both kisses.

A slick speedboat took all six of us to shore to enjoy the nightlife Santorini had to offer. First we hit one of the beach bars on Kamari. Golden skin lurked everywhere; drinks flowed constantly, hot women wearing barely anything danced like it was the end of the world and most of all sexy, rich, playboys lurked about.

Dimitris had explained earlier that this was how summer was in Europe. From Spain, France, and Italy to Greece, parties such as these scattered from the Mediterranean Sea to the Aegean Sea all summer long.

Dimitris had secured us a VIP spot in one of the clubs before we arrived. When we decided to head towards the club, not one of us was sober. Yep, we were rolling drunk. "Tris! Look! They've got poles to stretch those lovely gams of yours!" Lindsey was dancing on her seat as she pointed enthusiastically to the two poles across from us. "Oh, please, God! You and Emma do it, please!"

Amber, Emma and I had taken pole dance and burlesque classes the previous year, but ended up quitting for no apparent reason. It took me three, two-hour classes to get on that metal pole. Boy, one would think my skinny body could easily climb the metal stick, but heck, I lost count of how many times I slid off that thing. Emma and Amber were pretty good at it, though.

Emma winked at me. "I'm not that drunk, yet, maybe later." She laughed at Bass's expression. The man looked like he was going to go ape-shit, but Emma could handle him. "You got dollar bills, baby?"

_Or not_.

The rest of us hollered at Bass Cole's _'what the fuck did you just say?'_ look he gave Emma, "You wouldn't dare! You're going to get spankings for being naughty." Although, that didn't seem to faze her.

She batted her eyelashes at him and gave him a bright smile. "I might just _dare it_ , Mister Cole." Emma taunted him while the man simply just smoldered. I bet that kinky imagination of his was working overtime in that handsome head.

Yeah, sizzle-dizzle, these two had it in spades.

We suddenly became silent when one of the club managers came over to our table, addressing Bass and Dimitris. "There are twenty girls who want to take pictures and won't leave until they see me ask. Is that quite possible, Mr. Cole and Mr. Kosta?" The British man pointed at the big line of women who were only blocked by a thick velvet rope. I suppose the Europeans were familiar with Dimitris, but there were a bunch of Americans that were starting to scream Bass's name when Bass looked toward the line, a line that seemed to be getting longer as the time ticked by.

"That's fine. Give us a five minutes." Both actors agreed to please their fans.

Lindsey stood up and took two champagne bottles. She then addressed my ex-sex stud. "Taylor, I hope you have enough moves to please three insatiable ladies."

Dimitris stood up dramatically and pulled Lindsey close to him, the glow in the dark blue eyes was possessive. "Stay with me, _moro mou_. I want you close. This will be quick."

Lindsey cocked her head at him with a weird expression on her face. "Uh, you want _me_ to take pictures with your fans, too? People might think I'm the celebrity and you're my butt boy."

He gave a hearty laugh before he kissed her. "I do not care about petty things such as that. _Ne, moro mou_?"

Lindsey looked bored and rolled her eyes. "See this? Two days and he's addicted to me already! _Fine_ , okay? I don't want you to run out of air when I'm not around." She handed Emma and I the champagne bottles. "Here, you two go and dance the night away." She patted both of our butts to see us off.

Bass amorously glanced at Emma. "You can stay too, Em."

My friend just gave him a little wave as she stood up. "Bass, I'm not going to dance with another guy except for Taylor. I'm not giving anyone a lap dance and I won't dry hump anyone. Sit tight, I'm going to be a good girl."

The golden boy look exasperated, provoked. "Hell, woman. If you hadn't worn such a short skirt, I wouldn't be paranoid. I don't know why you find it funny to taunt me."

Emma giggled and pointed at his discomfited state. " _This_ is why babe. Now, be the charming Hollywood heartthrob that everyone wants to take pictures with. See you later, lovah."

We left with Taylor right behind us. We were halfway across the dance floor when a woman grabbed Taylor, and within a second, he was gone.

_Okay, he can go fuck off_.

"You guys are fighting again? I can't believe you let your monster boss go," Emma said close to my ear, as the music thumped loudly around us.

Who cares? "It's blah. It's not like he's the love of my life. It was a good ride, but it's not that big of a deal. Time to shake it and finish these bottles off. Then we can head over to the dancers, borrow short-shorts then bust some moves on the pole."

Emma randomly pulled me towards a pathway packed with people dancing that led to the beach. It was still packed with blue and white cabanas and people partying the night away. The moon was high and torches were everywhere. This spot was definitely rockin' it.

Emma grinned at me before she took a long gulp of her champagne. "Love the master plan. Bass will definitely be pissed off. The angrier he gets, the more he will want to prove a point in bed, and I want that all night long."

"You're bad, Emma." I was grinning from ear to ear though.

Her eyes lit up with a knowing smile. "I know, right? But damn, he's made me into this starved woman—sexually, emotionally, mentally. It's scary, really, but I can't stop wanting him. It's been going for two months now, yet each time he touches me, it feels like it's the first time. I keep thinking, what happens when he's got his fill of me? He's got so many options out there, Tris and these women are much more sexually experienced and prettier than me." The light in her eyes was gone, and she seemed perturbed.

"You knew the downside of dating him, Em. Don't let this get to you. Once this movie releases, he'll be fighting the men off you, too. Give yourself a little credit, Doll. You're just not a normal, pretty, beach babe. You're so fucking stunning it makes me want to barf looking at you sometimes." Emma looked like she didn't believe me. "Okay, of all of us women, you got Carter on his knees right now, begging for you. Hell, that man would strip naked playing football if you asked him to. Not to mention you've got Bass Cole getting all possessive because your skirt is too short. Tell me, _aren't you the luckiest bitch in town or what?_ "

She snorted at that, shaking her head. "Carter playing football naked would be awesome." She cleared her throat and stopped walking. "I dreamt of him last night, Tris. That's never happened since I started things with Bass. It's that damn ring. I think it's making me doubt everything. It's making me think that what I have with Bass is only temporary."

_Yikes._ "Did you ever think of getting back with him after the boathouse? Be honest with me."

Emma studied the champagne bottle before she finally managed to speak. "Yeah, I was close to accepting him back, again. I was happy to leave for Greece because it let me off the hook of having to make a decision about getting back with him. Now I realize that I want to be with Bass more than Carter and he starts messing with my head. I just don't appreciate it when Carter does that. He loves doing it, too."

"That's Carter for you—" I was going to say more but she interrupted me.

"What made you leave _him?_ I knew if you had your way, you wouldn't have. I won't tell Lindsey, but you have to tell me. You have to talk to someone. You're fake smiles aren't convincing me anymore, Babe." The angelic face gave me a serious look.

Shit, she tricked me. She brought us out here to confront me. Damn it, very sneaky, indeed. "We're at a club somewhere in Santorini and you want to talk about my _problems_?" I tried to play it off, but she wasn't buying it.

Emma glared at me before she pointed us towards an empty, nautical-striped cabana. "I don't care if we're in the Vatican. I would still ask you the same question. Now spill or I will dog you all weekend."

"Damn it, Emma. This is not funny," I whined and tried to look irritated, but her unwavering cool stare didn't falter. _Oh, fuck it_. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my nerves. Emma was going to be the first person I was going to confide in. This was a major deal to me. I knew talking about it would make it more _real_ —it would finally be out there—another person would know my dirty dark secret. "I was pregnant. Harry asked me to terminate it. He—"

"Oh God! Trista! All this time, you've been carrying this burden. Why didn't you tell me?" Emma was hugging me like she didn't want to let me go. "I'm so sorry for not being there for you. I feel like a total selfish shithead. I was complaining about my life while yours was much worse than mine."

That made me laugh. "Trust me, your love life's a pretty good distraction."

She pulled away and trapped my face with her palms. "Really, though, are you okay?" Her thumbs wiped the small tears that gathered in the corners of my eyes.

"Yes and no. There are days that are good, but there are those that are really hard to get through. Being here with you all has helped me. Having a friend like you helps, too. I will tell Amber and Lindsey together, I can't break this to Lindsey right now. I'm not strong enough to broach the subject just yet."

A sad smile formed on her lips. "Take all the time you need. Just know that you're not alone in this, Babe. I'm here to go through this with you."

I gave a small nod, trying to smile. "Thank you. Okay, enough. If I don't get my shit together, I will look like a hot mess. I can't believe you did this in Santorini, Emma Anderson!"

"You look good, Tris. Let's finish our bottles and spin on those poles. It's been awhile. We might be rusty, but it'll be a blast." She tapped her bottle to mine in a silent toast before we finished the damned, thousand Euro, French bubbles.

Emma worked fast coaxing those short shorts out of the girls. We slipped those teeny looking scraps of Lycra on over our underwear, underneath our skirts. She also had one of the managers, poor besotted bastard, eating out of her palm when she batted her long lashes and those baby blues. She was able to convince him to not only let us dance, but to play our favorite workout song— _Creator_ by Santigold—too. Emma, wired with alcohol in her system, was something else entirely. I loved watching her come out of her usually composed shell.

"Banana Splits and shits?" Emma asked for our routine. I was surprised that she remembered our nicknames for them. It was one of our practiced routines, the best one we knew.

Grinning, I nodded at her. "Banana Splits and shits, baby!"

Banana splits and shits was a combination pirouette (walking sexily around the pole as you bend at the knee), carousel (sexy shit), chair spin (where we spun around whilst sitting), bow and arrow (upside down with both hands up holding onto the pole, a foot hooked around it and the other apart pose) and lastly the banana split (where we both dislodged our legs, up high on the pole, in the air and held on for dear life).

Thank goodness we were in one piece after the song ended. "We rocked it dude! I thought I was going to die before the banana, but thank God I survived that!" I gave Emma a high-five as we stepped off of the glittered stage.

"Gosh! We should definitely do more of those when we get back. I forgot how fun that was." When we got to the table, the only one cheering us was Lindsey. Bass looked like he could commit murder. He was red from it. "Come on, that was fun, wasn't it?" Emma pinched his cheeks until she got a small smile from him.

As soon as she was close enough to him, he grabbed her and planted her on his lap. "I admit, you looked extremely enchanting doing it. Still, Emma, you shouldn't have. The men kept taking videos of you two. You're so going to pay for that. I think you've stolen ten years off my life."

I was smiling madly as I looked away from the couple, then my eyes landed on Taylor dancing with a _brunette_ woman. They were practically having sex on the dance floor, but with clothes on. His hands were all over her, cupping her everywhere. Seeing him so into another woman made me feel sick.

He had made his point earlier this afternoon and I couldn't help feeling that this was why he didn't even want to fuck me; he wanted a different woman. Even if he had been purple with pain, I still didn't think he would have wanted me now. I wasn't sure if it was my pride, ego or sexuality that was hurt more. Maybe all three since the pain that was crushing me at the moment was so excruciating that it wouldn't even allow me to think straight. It was a different kind of pain compared to what I had gone through with Harry. Although, pain was pain and I was truly gutted.

Lindsey pulled me aside, so I didn't have to keep watching those two pests dance the night away. "Em and Bass are leaving to go back to the yacht. Why don't you go, hmm? You look tired, anyway."

She was right. Today's events were rather too much. Watching Taylor hook up with another woman was the last thing I needed, even though he and I weren't anything to each other. He could do as he pleased and fuck as he pleased. I just didn't have to watch it go down. "Yeah, that would be a wise idea." I finally conceded to Lindsey's suggestion.

"He's just being retarded, Tris. He'll come to his senses." Lindsey tried to reassure me, but failed miserably.

"It's no big deal. It was sex, nothing more." I was in love with Harry. Everyone knew that. Then, why did I feel hollow saying that now?

## Chapter One Hundred Forty

# Taylor

I watched Trista and Emma get on the pole, but my eyes were stuck on the woman who drove me mad, with lust and affection. My hardened cock lurched at the scene before me as Trista's body easily melded with the pole, making love to it. I was sure the entire club was enthralled at the beautiful display of womanly art. A quick glance at Bass confirmed my suspicions that he was having the same feelings as mine. It was a sight to see, yes, but I did not appreciate the male audience roving their eyes over her body. The show was sexy and it made me want to think about the ways I wanted to take her tonight. Pole dancing, it seemed, was a touch away from pornography. No matter what the entire population said, it was—without a doubt—sexual, sensual and a blatant, taunting display of sex. A man was bound to think of tits and pussies as they rubbed their bodies against that cold steely pole.

Trista was doing a fine job at it; I had to hand it to her. Even though she and I weren't talking much tonight, she truly had captured my thoughts and wayward imagination. She was a contradiction of feistiness, beauty, and confidence with a touch of vulnerability; a woman who wore her masks well. That tortured soul inside was held at bay when people were around, but when left alone, her demons hounded her.

At times I wondered if Harry cheated on her. I remembered eavesdropping at their conversation, hearing the vile accusations she had thrown at him. This led me to that very conclusion. There was no other reason I could come up with except that. What else could there be?

As she stood to follow Bass and Emma out of the club, my guts were telling me to run after her, I stayed put and tried to enjoy Libby's company, though. She was more my type. Like my ex, Megan, she was brunette, tall, composed and beautiful. Tonight, however, I found any woman's presence lacking. Well, apart from _one_ that is.

The one who was too outspoken for my taste. The one who messed with my head in whichever way she could. The very woman who liked to push my buttons until I was seething with white-hot anger and rage. An anger that was matched with a simmering fire, making my cock hard with only a glance. Not to mention the fact that she was hopelessly and passionately in love with that bastard named Harry. All of that combined to make her the woman I should stay away from.

I was brought out of my frustrating thoughts of the hellcat when I felt Libby's hand stroke my upper thigh, slightly brushing my cock while she was at it. "Do you want to drink some more or do you want to head out? We can do it however and do whatever you like," Libby purred seductively in my ear.

Since Trista had come to me this afternoon, I'd been sporting a hard-on. It would do me a world of good if I could get rid of it. I was tempted to fuck the living shit out of Libby, but there was only one woman that I wanted to scream my name while she was beautifully coming apart in my arms. _Did that hellcat really go back to the yacht? Maybe to fuck that man who was touching her body out on the deck earlier?_ _Or was she partying with someone else?_

I wouldn't put it past her. She had needed much more than a quick release when she had entered my room. She had wanted it hard and rough, but I'd held myself back. It was my way of punishing her. Now that I'd thought about it, she was more than capable of choosing another man to satisfy her needs, since I didn't even manage to satiate that hunger of hers, but thinking of her with another man drove me a little crazy. Trista was a responsive woman. She was a beautiful, passionate woman with a body that would tempt a monk. Push her over the edge and a man would truly see the beauty of what she could be and then snatch her up.

What was I doing? There was only one way I wanted the night to end and it sure as hell wasn't going to be _inside_ Libby. I needed to see Trista. What had happened this afternoon was stupid. I wasn't sure if it had been my pride or something else that was hurt more from her blatant admission, but I was over it now.

I had to leave Libby and the party circuit. I wanted to be with _her._ Even though the woman I craved in my blood was in love with another man, I tried to not think much about the unconcealed fact. We were continents apart, and here in Greece, at least she was with me. With me with her body, but not her heart and possibly not her mind either. These barely leave me satisfied, but I found it difficult to resist when larger things rule my mind and simple common sense. When your libido and emotions come into play, there's not much I could do but ride with the tide.

Now I was here, in her room, looking over her sleeping form, contemplating if I should wake her up or not. After this afternoon's incident, I wasn't sure if she would still let me touch her. Even with that knowledge, I found myself on the bed, shoes and all, continuing to stare at the sleeping hellcat. My eyes glanced at the pillow where a large, soaked spot marked her shed tears, tears of sadness, sorrow and love for the very special, Harry, perhaps?

A part of me wanted to ease some of the anguish she was in. I guess the man in me wanted to protect her, but another part wanted to make her see that a man who was too weak to fight for your love simply didn't deserve all the love and admiration that she seemed willing to keep throwing at him. I wanted to make her understand what a real man could make her feel, what he could elicit from her tempting body.

I knew I smelled of alcohol amongst other things, but I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to stroke her cheek, nor could I stop myself from leaning over and kissing her softly on the lips. My lips moved to her jaw and onto her neck. "Trista," I croaked out, my body responding to the smell of her. My hand roamed about and rested on her ass, cupping it as I pushed her body against mine. "I want you," I whispered against her soft skin.

Since I knew nothing was going to hinder my lips from seeking her wet depths, I immediately moved downwards, parting her shapely legs along the way. The tip of my tongue stuck out to get a taste of her. She tasted so fucking good, and I wanted more. I was working my way around her wet folds when she instantly bolted up. "Taylor?"

"Yes?" I asked, still working on her.

Trista brushed her hair to the side, staring at me with a shocked expression. "The brunette ditched you, didn't she?"

Was that jealousy I detected? I dotted kisses up her thighs as I moved my body and lips upwards to greet the she-devil. "No, I believe it was the other way around. I apologize for my despicable behavior. I'm making amends. I'm sorry for treating you that way. It won't happen again."

"You sure you're not here just to get laid?"

"Okay, that, too, but I really am sorry, Trista. What you did was wrong, but I shouldn't have reacted and treated you in such a way. You didn't deserve that." Hell, I was a total dick this afternoon. I had no clue where my anger had come from, but it seemed like wherever Trista was concerned, nothing made sense to me.

"As long as you promise not to be a prick again, then we're good. Come here and give me a kiss, you idiot!" She pulled me by my neck and kissed me passionately. "You sure nothing happened with that brunette? She's more your type." She spoke in between kisses as she pulled me in between her legs.

So that brunette comment I made to Lindsey back in Aspasia _had_ gotten to her. I found myself liking the fact that it _did_ bother her. "Nothing happened with Libby, promise. I used to like brunettes, but I assure you, with all that I believe in, I want you with everything in me. Brunettes be damned."

Trista bit my bottom lip before she heatedly said against my ear. "Good, cause I'd skin you alive if something did happen. Take your pants off, I need you."

Here was the siren being bossy again. Despite this, I wanted no one else to spend my nights with other than this very alluring woman who I had no real hold on.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-One

# Trista

The next day, we were anchored close to the island of Mykonos after having already visited the island of Keros, Naxos and Paros earlier in the day. The captain had a large circular net attached to the back of the yacht. The rounded space was large enough for us to swim and play around. Kayaks, jet skis and a floating trampoline were all out for us to enjoy. We were amazed at having all of these things at our disposal.

"How did you and Bass meet?" I questioned Bass and Taylor as we swam together.

Taylor shrugged as he tried to climb onto the big, mustard colored trampoline. "Boarding school in Switzerland. Our parents were actually friends back in Los Angeles for a few years until my mother remarried again and moved to Paris."

"Over the years, we kept in touch. Taylor didn't like Paris so I suggested he come back to LA. It worked great for both of us, I guess." Bass added as he swam towards Taylor who was jumping on the trampoline like a little kid.

"Wanna join the little munchkins?" Emma asked smiling as she watched the two grown men jump up and down with entertained and child-like expressions.

"You go ahead, Doll; I want to jet ski with Lindsey and Dimitris." Those two were splashing each other with water, showing off their mad skills. I hardly had any skills with the machine, but today was fun and I wanted to try new things.

Before we knew it, the three men had us riding behind them as the jet skis roamed playfully around the sea, making a loud ruckus while circling the large yacht.

Lindsey went loco, jumping from her jet ski to land in the sea. She swam towards where Emma was clinging onto Bass then strategically pulled the other woman's leg, making her fall off and land in the water next to her. "Swim with the sharks, woman!" she laughingly teased her while Emma panicked and started to swim towards the yacht. "Dude, I was just joking! There are no sharks here!" She screamed at the still swimming blonde, but Emma wouldn't have any of it. The rest of us joined the hilarious situation.

"She's only joking! Come back and join us!" Bass interjected as he tried with all of his might not to bust out laughing, but Emma just sat on the edge of the boat's footer.

Emma merely shrugged, nonchalant. "I'm good."

Emma was scared of sharks, she couldn't even stand watching shark week when it came on TV, so that joke was going to traumatize her for a while. Heck, it was funny, though.

Taylor carefully shifted himself so that he could sit the other way, facing me. "I have an idea. I was hoping you'd want to spend the next two days with me here."

"Here, _here? Mykonos?_ " I double checked, taking in how the tan he'd gotten over the last couple of days made his eyes stand out all the more. He looked utterly and decadently divine in my eyes.

"Yes, Emma and Bass need to get back to filming, but you and I are on vacation. I want to spend more time with you." He then leaned over and kissed my sea-salted lips.

Summer in Greece sure as hell was changing me. The hurt, the pain, the darkness and the ongoing battle of evil that lurked in the depths of me were all slowly diminishing. Whatever it was—the heat, sun, having fun—that was causing the change, I liked it. I felt lighter. Each day I woke up with less heartache to weigh me down, when it used to sink its claws into me and try to drown me with it. Now, I felt like I was floating, as if those shackles were actually attached to buoys now, instead of anchors, keeping me afloat. It all reminded me of my past sins and actions, but purposely drove me to look into the future.

The past had taught me, the present I could continue to learn from, and the future I could embrace. "Sure, why the heck not? I'm honored to be invited to spend the next few days with you."

His eyes crinkled as he beamed at me. His hand tucked a wayward hair behind my ear. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're easy to please? I love how little things make you happy."

I hadn't been easy to please before, but when I started dating a married man, I had learned that it was the little things I needed to be grateful for. "You're an amazing guy, Taylor and I'm one lucky lady to be spending this summer with you." Oh, I was bitchy at times, but that didn't make me blind of the fantastic things when they occurred. I definitely noticed.

"I can be more than amazing. You have yet to find out." The man kissed me, baring me—exposing me to him—slowly and deliberately. It reminded me of that expression " _kissed by the gods_ " since it sure hell __ felt like I was being kissed by one.

The first day in Mykonos was practically spent indoors. When the next sunset rolled in, Taylor didn't want us to spend another evening in bed ordering room service, so here we were, arms around each other, walking the cobbled streets of Mykonos as we figured out where we wanted to eat dinner. We weren't in a hurry, we checked out each restaurant as we passed. When we spotted a nice, cozy, candlelit diner by the edge of the water, we both agreed to dine there.

The glassy surface of the Aegean Sea was still tonight, the full moon high; stars dotted the darkened skies, glittering the treasured island with bewitchery and magical allure. The heady essence of romance was everywhere. It caressed and enchanted me. I was moved and most definitely spellbound. The man before me romanced me just as much as our surroundings. I couldn't help being a little amused watching as he was rather entertained with the candle in his hand, playing with it as he watched my face.

The intense, mossy depths of his eyes seared into me—touching me—sparking me alive and setting me on fire. "Do you know the candle highlights your beautiful face perfectly? Whichever angle I place it in, it shows off your contoured exquisiteness."

Blushing really wasn't my favorite thing to do, but tonight I was beet red. " _I'm not_ —I'm pretty in a way, but not like Lindsey or Emma."

"Why would you want to compare yourself to them? You're your own kind of beauty. I see it, I appreciate it and I love experiencing it. Never underestimate yourself, my perfect little vixen."

Taylor had the key to my head, and he sure was screwing with it. For the longest time, tonight, I was incandescently happy because he made me feel like the only woman in the world that mattered. Not only that, but I felt like the most beautiful woman. In Taylor's eyes, I was, and that was enough.

We had just finished an excellent meal and were enjoying our wine as we waited for our dessert to arrive when Taylor asked me a significant question. "What are you thinking about? You're in deep thought."

"I'm not too sure you would want to know, actually." My thoughts were kind of my kryptonite, sadly.

He studied me a moment, considering where this conversation could lead to, before carefully responding to me. "I do want to know, if you care to enlighten me."

"I was thinking how different it is when you're not seeing a married man." I gave him a sad smile, before returning my gaze back to the sea. "Harry was married to my cousin. I was his mistress."

Taylor's eyes didn't leave my face. I could see my words sinking in to that pretty face of his. When the waiter brought out our dessert, I graciously thanked him, but no words came out of Taylor's mouth. "It's true. Now, I'm not so pretty anymore, huh?" That was only the half of it. I could only imagine what he would think of me once he found out the other truth.

"That explains a lot of the bitterness, but not its entirety. It sure as hell explains a lot. With your cousin's husband though, Trista? Isn't that a—"

" _Bitchy move?_ Yes, it was. Not that Becka wasn't a bitch in her own right but I didn't care. I wanted to be with him. My stupidity sure ended up making me pay, though. Trust me, karma didn't ask for an even exchange, but a full fucking refund. I've learned the hard way."

"I'm not really a fan of cheating, but I believe you when you tell me that you've learned from your experience. I hope that someday you are able to make wiser decisions. I understand that some things can't be helped, but there are other things that we can prevent from happening. Sometimes being selfless is good for the soul," Taylor said thoughtfully. Selfless, when it came to Harry, I was not.

For the rest of the night, Taylor didn't bring up the subject of Harry and our affair. It seemed that the man was content with whatever information I had already shared. I appreciated that he gave me time to be comfortable sharing such shameful facts about my past with him instead of pushing for every last detail.

What I was truly grateful for was that he wasn't repulsed by what I had said. He never once passed judgment about my reckless and frivolous actions. People and society aren't as forgiving, but it pleased me to know that Taylor reserved his judgment, at least for now.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Two

# Trista

After a week and a half of our arrival in Greece, the main casts of the movie were being interviewed. I couldn't be any more excited about it. The other side of the island was transformed into a nice setting for the _Behind-The-Scenes_ interview. Lindsey, Taylor and I were standing behind one of the screens that showed Emma, Bass and Dimitris with a beautiful lady named Jill, who was the interviewer. We all had headphones on as we watched the whole thing with a front row pass.

Jill started with the bright star of the film, of course. "Bass Cole, how are you doing today? I'm thinking the Greek sun is agreeing with you, huh? I'm pretty sure America will think so, too." She was grinning like a lapdog at Bass, eyeing him like he was the most delicious treat in the world.

My eyes glanced at Emma, but she was calm and looked like she was enjoying herself. _Was she really?_

Bass merely shrugged at that comment before he gave a little laugh. "I'm doing well, Jill. I concur, the Greek sun has been more than agreeable. It's been fantastic, I love it here."

Jill's face lit-up as she looked at him through her lashes, a flirty look in her eyes. " _Blasphemous_ is gaining a lot of publicity due to its content. What made you sign up for a movie that's so different from your usual endeavors? I heard this movie's very steamy and graphically raw. Is there any truth to that?"

Bass gave her a winning smile. "Graphically raw, I like that. Yeah, the movie is definitely raw and steamy. I've always wanted to make a movie with Martin and, after reading the script, I knew this film was something I wanted to be in and that's mainly because it _is_ different from all the other ones I've made. It's more dramatic, allowing me the opportunity to show a wide range of emotion that you don't see in my other films. You could just say that I gave my heart and soul to it, I suppose."

"The way you described it makes me want to see the movie all the more. Do you two agree with what Bass said?" Jill directed her attention to Dimitris and Emma.

Dimitris chose to respond first. "The movie does need a lot of emotion, be it anger, passion, hate or love. I think this movie as a whole is about passion. I don't think Martin could've done a better job than selecting Emma as the lead. This woman lights up on screen." He directed his smiling face at Emma.

Emma was biting her lip, blushing and laughing. "It's not that hard to light up." She laughed again. "These men are great actors. I'm new to this, but both have been very generous to help out if I needed to make a certain scene better."

Jill was laughing with her. "I can just imagine. You've these terribly good-looking men to share scenes with. Women all over the world would die to be in your spot. How did it feel kissing Bass and Dimitris for the first time? Was it awkward at all?"

Emma looked comfortable on screen. The question barely fazed her. "It was in the beginning, but after the first scene you're like, 'okay, here goes.' Dimitris and I make fun of each other. He'd say something like, 'I brushed my teeth twice, I'm ready.'"

Jill was now more than eager to pull out more juicy details. "Who kisses better? Bass or Dimitris? You have to give us an answer. We're all dying to know."

Emma bit her lip and took a sneak peek at the two men on both of her sides. "Dimitris is an amazing kisser. He's very in control and sets the pace. Bass kisses like he's consuming you whole. Both men are different. It's hard to scale it that way."

My left headphone was suddenly moved aside as Taylor leaned close. "Do I kiss like I'm consuming you whole?"

I cocked my head a little so I could do a little consuming of my own with my eyes taking in that gorgeous face. "Why ask if you know the answer, pretty boy?"

His eyes danced as he gave me a few quick kisses. "Just making sure, a guy needs a little assurance once in a while." Taylor winked at me before he placed my headphones back. I happily sighed when he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Lindsey caught us and simply stuck out her tongue, smiling.

Jill gave a little blushing laugh after Bass said something I missed. "Bass your fans sent a lot of questions, but we could only choose a few. The first question is from Sheila M. from Seattle. 'Are you still dating Lydia Cornwell?'"

Bass cleared his throat before answering the question. His blue eyes looked very pronounced on the screen. "No, Lydia and I parted ways a couple of months back."

"I heard both men are actually single, but not the leading lady. Miss Emma, we did a little digging of our own and we found out that you're dating a soccer player, Carter Mason from LA Galaxy. Carter's Facebook was packed with pictures of you both from when you guys started dating. Here, the team made a little video." All of them were watching the television that was on the left of Jill. Emma was uncomfortable. Bass looked rigid and Dimitris was frowning.

The screen before us was now filled with Carter's Facebook page. It was like a timeline of them together from the first night they kissed, them dancing, more kissing, Emma being carried in his arms, Emma writing _I love you_ on his chest with her lipstick, pictures of Emma's sleeping face, another one of her smiling at Carter and the last one, was of her wearing his jersey from LA Galaxy while blowing him a kiss.

_Shit_ , Carter didn't play for the LA team until a few months back. _What was going on here?_ Lindsey and I shared a look of horror as we both turned our attention back to Emma and Bass. They looked the same as earlier, but if you looked closely, there was tension between Bass and Emma.

"Wow, you're boyfriend's definitely gorgeous. I can tell you two are so in love. I like a guy who's not afraid to tell the world that you're his girl." Jill meant the words as she grinned at Emma.

"Yeah, that's Carter. He's very _persistent_ ," Emma murmured.

After Jill asked Emma more questions in regards to the movie, she shifted the questioning to Bass and Dimitris. It went on for another hour before it finally ended. Jill was going to visit them again tomorrow during filming, so she could get a glimpse of what it was like behind the scenes. Since there wasn't much space on the island, Jill and her crew had to fly back to Athens instead of staying closer to the cast and crew.

Taylor and I were making out on the outdoor couch when he heard someone slide the door open. It was Bass heading towards us. They all were supposed to eat at the villa tonight, so I was surprised to find him here. "Would it be okay if I could speak to Trista alone?" He directed his gaze to Taylor. Who simply nodded, stood up and patted Bass's shoulder.

"What's up B?" I asked when Taylor disappeared inside the cottage.

"I have questions, and I think you're the only person that can truly answer them for me." Bass sat on the other end of the couch and stared at the sea, deep in thought. "What are the chances Emma will go back to him, Trista? Please be honest. I know you love her, but I don't think I could stand it if she left again. I'd rather be prepared if there's a chance she would, so I can separate myself away from her sooner."

_Oh, fuck_. I was really getting punished. What the heck do I tell him? "Bass...maybe you should ask her that, not me. She's the one you should be talking to."

"I did. She brushed me off like it was not a big deal, but it is. To me it is. Those pictures brought everything back. Emma looked happy and it was plain to see how much love was shared between the two. So, please, just answer me truthfully. Where does Carter stand with her?"

The man really was hurting. "Back in February, something major happened, like a deal breaker, I guess. Around that time she caught him with five girls. Since then, he's been begging for forgiveness. She's crazy about you now, Bass. Don't let old pictures from her past ruin what you two have." Bass just shook his head and didn't utter a damn word. "You _do_ love her don't you?"

Bass made a sad laugh, running both of his hands through his hair. "I don't know if even should." He then stood up and looked at me. "Thank you, I know there's more to the story, but I know you won't tell me, anyway. I also know that you're protecting her, but you have to understand that I cannot go through this the second time with Emma. I'm going away for the night. I need to think away from her. Tell her I'll be back tomorrow morning before the shoot, so she doesn't worry." He left by way of the beach, looking torn and sad all together.

"He doesn't look good," Taylor said behind me.

My heart ached for Bass. He really was crazy about Emma and my friend was crazy about him, too, but she still felt something for Carter. I think that's what Bass realized today and deep down, I think he knew that. "Yeah, I hope they sort that out. They're great together."

"They are, but for him to come out here and talk to you means that he's had his doubts for a while. One thing is for sure, he would have a hard time dealing with it if he did walk away." Taylor took my feet and placed them on his thighs while he gently massaged them. His hands applied enough pressure to subdue my mind and body.

Man, this dude was awesome.

"Gosh, I wonder what other skills you have up your sleeve. You keep surprising me, Taylor." I sagged against the couch, my body floating away from me as I lavished in the heavenly feeling.

"So foot massages get me praises? I should've known you're a sucker to being serviced." He pulled at my toe, teasing me.

I simply giggled at his touch. It tickled the hell out of my foot. My soles were quite sensitive and he seemed to be enjoying it. "Tell me one person in this world who doesn't love being serviced, pretty boy? I bet the pope even has his own personal fetch-me person."

"You and your nicknames, does it ever end?"

I lounged back, comfortable and satisfied with my ongoing present relationship with Taylor. "Nah. It's fun and quirky when you make your own catch-phrases. That's just the way I am. Don't count on it ever changing."

"I never said I wanted you to change, Tris. You're unique, quirks and all, and I like that about you," Taylor said before planting a kiss on both of my big toes.

"That's the sweetest compliment anyone has ever given me." I was way more than touched. My heart soared for a bit.

"Anymore services you wish, Lady Princess?"

This guy was utterly killing me. I sat up and moved to straddle him. Intertwining my arms around his neck, my lips touched the tip of his nose. "I want to do the dirty underneath the stars."

"I think I can easily make that happen," Taylor murmured as his lips hovered around the side of mine.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Three

# Trista

For two weeks, we explored the entire island. All the fruit orchards, the few small caves, creeks and we tried to learn the Greek language (I failed this miserably). The most enjoyable part was trying all the exotic food and kissing Taylor in between bites. Yeah, we tend to kiss quite a bit. And I shamelessly adore it.

I was out on the patio playing Bejeweled Blitz when Taylor sought me out with an overly-excited grin on his face. "Come here, I have a surprise for you." He held out his hand to me.

Beaming, I placed mine in his before he dragged us out of the cottage. "What is it? It's nothing weird, right?" I hoped it wasn't.

He led us down to the beach and started walking towards the right, the opposite direction of civilization. "Taylor?" I asked nervously when it started to get darker around us. The lights from the cottages where almost gone, but he kept walking ahead.

"Calm down, I'm not going to murder you."

I smacked his stomach as he laughed at me. "That's not funny, idiot. It's just dark and I can't see where we're going. I'm scared that's all."

"Aw, baby. You have nothing to be scared of when I'm with you. I promise I'll protect you with my life, scouts honor."

I snorted at him. "Yeah right, there were no boy scouts at your boarding school in Switzerland!"

He kept on laughing. "That's right, there weren't, but still, I mean it. We're almost there now. Keep walking, lazy cat."

I was stunned when I saw what he had done for me. Ahead was a big bonfire, a sleeping bag, a large blanket laid out with food, wine and pastries, all surrounded with red rose petals. The heady scent lingered in the air. "I didn't know you were so romantic," I whispered in awe of the man who did all this for me. I took my sandals off and felt the soft petals on my feet as they sunk in the sand.

"I hide that trait very well. It only comes out during the full moon." He leaned over and kissed me passionately. "Do you like it? You said you wanted to do it under the stars and I wanted to be the one you got plenty of experience of that with."

No man has ever done anything this romantic for me. Not a one. I was unequivocally touched. "I love it, pretty boy. Thank you. Thank you!"

"You're very welcome. Let's eat before I devour you instead of the food." Taylor kissed my forehead before he led me towards the blanket that was covered in petals, too.

While we sat, enjoying our wine, Taylor took a piece of charred beef in his fingers and fed me. "Taylor, did you forget forks?"

"I didn't, but I want to feed you with my hands. I want to feel your mouth suck and lick them while you enjoy the food."

_Dear, Lordy. I was a sucker for these romantic gestures._ "You're on a roll tonight, aren't you Mr. Boss?"

"Boss will most definitely be rolling non-stop tonight. All night long, baby."

Tonight, it was just us. Not even my mind or conscience could intrude on our night together.

He took his time undressing me, placing small kisses here and there until I was completely naked. My heart was beating erratically and I was mesmerized as he slowly undressed before me. His eyes never left mine.

We stood gazing at each other, naked. The fire crackled close by, but all I saw was this man, who was bulldozing his way into me, pounding cracks into the solid barriers I had erected. It was like a magnetic force, it was too powerful to resist as we closed the gap. When our lips touched, I opened up to him. I kissed with everything that I was, everything he meant to me, and everything he'd made me feel. _Beautiful_ , that's what Taylor made me feel—truly, positively, exactly and irresistibly beautiful.

We kissed as he slowly lowered me down on the blanket. He was atop me as his hands and lips were busy with my face and neck, kissing me like I was the most precious thing he'd ever held. "I want you," I whispered against his mouth as I opened my legs wider to accommodate him. His hard length nestled in between my wet parted lips, but he didn't seem too eager to move.

"You will have me, I just want to savor you slowly, Trista. We have all night. I promise to make it worth your while if you let me take the lead, hmm?" I gave a frustrated groan as my hips started to move against his shaft, wetting it with my essence as he kissed me. "You're not very good with instructions are you?"

"Nah-uh." _He should know that by now._

"Then let me show you how a man makes love to a woman, Trista. I'm challenged to change your mind."

_And by God did he just._ **** We made love with such slowness and sweetness, I was sure I was coming pure sugar.

After coming apart four times in a row, I was sure my vocal cords were ready to join the opera house. My hazy mind diminished even more when Taylor's eyes bored into mine. "I hope that someday you will find the happiness you desperately seek, Trista."

_I hoped so, too_. He had no idea how much.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Four

# Trista

After having a quick lunch at one of the island's taverna, Taylor was adamant we learned how to fish with nets when one of the old folks invited us to join them.

"Hey! If the world ended tomorrow and we had to live like they did back in the Stone Age, I think it's in our best interest to learn how to survive and catch fish. Since we both live close to the Pacific Ocean, it's the most plausible solution. You'll thank me for it. Get up off of your lazy bum now, Lady Princess." Taylor grabbed both of my hips and lifted me to stand. "I love it when you're almost obedient." He bent over and kissed me.

So we learned to fish with nets, laughing and telling each other jokes as we stood there, the water almost to our chests as we waded about.

"Our summer's almost over. The month flew by quickly, huh?" Taylor closed our gap and pulled me close to his chest.

There were things that needed to be addressed. "It did. School beckons. I'm actually excited to head back this time." I was enveloped in his arms as I breathed him in. His scent mixed with the sea. I was going to miss this, but we hadn't discussed what was to happen once we left Greece. I had told him that this was to be a one-time, summer fling, but I didn't know if that was what I wanted anymore.

The last four weeks were blissful and spending them with him made them all the better.

"I know," Taylor smiled down at me, melting everything around me as his lips came down on mine.

We were walking back to the cottage, right after sundown, when I noticed a familiar figure waiting outside for someone.

All blood left my face when I saw _who_ it was.

"So this is the man you're fucking to forget me, Trista?"

FUCK.

Taylor started to move, but I pushed on his hard chest to stop him from doing so. That didn't stop him from dishing out a threatened remark. "Watch your fucking mouth! I will knock you the fuck out the next time you insult her." He spat, infuriated, at the unperturbed Harry. Taylor was in full protective mode.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it? Knowing how she is, I bet she screamed my name while you were doing her." The evil smile vanished as his eyes leveled with Taylor. "She's mine. You might've enjoyed her body for a few weeks, but that ends now." Harry then turned to look at me. "You and I have a lot to talk about regarding our future. I came to ask you to marry me."

I gasped. _No fucking way!_ My head shook in disbelief. "I don't believe you." Marry him? He was divorcing Becka? Oh, no. Fuck!

From behind, Taylor grasped my hand, trying to pull me away. "Come with me. Let's go."

My flabbergasted face never left Harry's. My eyes bore questions while his eyes told me everything I needed to know. Everything I _feared_ to know. He left my cousin, and their baby, _for me._ "You can't do that, Harry. No..." He couldn't have. For months, I had longed to be with him, but the consequences were too high. I had finally realized that.

Now that my wish was to be granted, I was more than conflicted. Could I do it? Be with him knowing I'd made him leave Becka and their baby? It was abhorrent, but, back in the day, this wouldn't even have been a question. I would've gone to hell and back just to be in his arms, to be with him and make him mine, forever. _Married to Harry as my husband..._

Harry's face didn't falter as he responded. "It's already done. I love you and I'm risking it all to be with you, Trista."

Taylor tugged my arms and spun me around. "This man has done enough damage to last you a lifetime, Tris. Don't give him another chance to hurt you." Those green eyes looked desperate as he tried to reason with my heart and my mind. "Be with me, Trista."

_No, don't ruin this_. Not right in front of Harry, I pleaded with my eyes. "Taylor, don't do this—"

From behind, Harry interrupted. "You heard her, lady. She's basically telling you to go away."

No...wait. "Please..." Don't go.

Taylor's nose flared while his eyes darkened. His hand was slowly letting go of mine.

"Hey! What the hell is going on? Is this man _Harry?_ " Lindsey sprinted from the tiny street along with Bass, Emma and Dimitris. "Leave her alone, you pig! You can't just come here and expect her to come running back into your arms after you dumped her like she was a piece of paper. You need to leave!" Lindsey was ready to pummel Harry's ass to the ground, but Emma held her back.

Harry broke lose as he spat back at Lindsey, at us. "I hadn't planned on leaving her. I swear! It just came out that way. Things got too complicated with the baby involved. It wasn't supposed to end like that. We weren't supposed to end at all."

Oh no!!! Not like this. I never intended for them to find out like this, most especially Taylor—who went completely still after I heard him take a sharp breath.

"What _baby_ is he talking about Trista?" Lindsey was looking at Harry and back to me. She looked alarmed and sad at the same time as she tried to comprehend everything at once.

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I thought they knew. The way she verbally attacked me, I thought she knew." Harry strode to my side and cupped my tear-stained face. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should've told me..." Lindsey trailed off as her eyes immediately sought Emma's. "Why aren't you saying anything? You knew didn't you?"

Emma nodded, biting her lip as she looked at me. "I did, but it wasn't my secret to tell, Linds."

Lindsey's teary eyes darted to my bare stomach before she looked at my face. "Your stomach is still flat, and for the last few weeks, you have been with Taylor... so, I'm guessing, there's no baby anymore, is there?"

I shook my head in response, crying in earnest as my body started to shiver.

"I'm sorry, Tris..." Lindsey started to cry, but Dimitris was there to gather her in his arms.

After a full minute of silence, Harry started to move. "I'm going to take her inside. We have things to talk about. I hope you all understand that." He addressed Emma and Lindsey, who both nodded at his statement.

As Harry was guiding me towards the cottage, I chanced to look at Taylor. He was rooted to the spot, his head down and staring at the cemented road.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Five

# Trista

We were inside the living room as Harry waited for me to finish crying. As much as I tried to stop the tears, my tear ducts had their own agenda.

"I'm sorry for outing you like that with your friends. I really thought they knew or I wouldn't have said it like that. I'm so sorry." Harry sat on his heels as he covered my hands with his. "I'm sorry for everything. I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life if I have to."

He was here to ask me for marriage. How was that even possible after what I had been through? Now he was back and I didn't know what to say or do. I was back to that old self. The overwhelming feeling of being around him again was decapitating me, making me mindless. Harry then did the craziest thing. He got on one knee and took out a mauve, velvet ring box. _Oh. Hell!!!_

"Our love hasn't been easy for us, but I believe in it. There's more hardship ahead of us, but I know we can get through it as long as we have each other. I've been selfishly stupid and I will never forgive myself for walking out on you that night. I've regretted it every day. I didn't know how I much love I had for you until I had lost you, Trista. I can't stand not to have you in my life. You have me, my heart, forever. Marry me and I vow to be your loyal, loving husband, who will love and cherish you, for the rest of your life." Harry, for the very first time, had tears in his eyes. His hands pried the box open to reveal a large, princess-cut, five-carat diamond ring on an eternity band. The ring was absolutely perfect.

His proposal moved me, more than words could say, but doubts still lurked within me. The trust I once had for him was no longer present. "You have no idea how I've dreamt of this happening. I still love you, but I don't know what to say right now. So much has happened. No promises or vows will ever change that."

"I understand and I don't want to force you." His finger took hold of the ring out of the box and placed it on my shaky ring finger. "Think about it. This ring was meant for you. I know I can't stay here tonight and I have to get back home anyway." Harry moved and sat next to me on the couch, seeking my lips as he slowly kissed me. "I'll be waiting for you when you get home. I hope by then it will be enough time for you to think it through. I love you. In my heart, you knew you were the only one in it."

Sadly, I somehow did know, but before I managed to speak, the cottage door was violently opened, smacking against the wall. The loud bang echoed throughout the place. Taylor's face clouded as he took in how close Harry was to my lips. His purposeful strides didn't falter, his undaunted focus solely on Harry.

Harry stood up and yelled at Taylor. "Listen, this is none of your busin—"

Taylor didn't care to speak before his knuckles connected to Harry's jaw, twice, before Harry was knocked back on the floor. Harry tried to stop Taylor, but the man was blinded with rage. "How the fuck do you figure you can just barge in here after you left her to wither and rot with guilt?" His other fist connected to the unaffected jaw before he angrily grabbed Harry's chin and spat at him. I screamed in the background, however Taylor wasn't able to hear me through his pounding. "Men like you don't deserve to live." Taylor was about to punch him again, but Bass and Lindsey rushed to his side and tried to hold him down.

"That's enough. That man got your message." Bass pointed at the bruised and bloodied face of Harry.

The thunderous face Taylor gave me then stilled my heart. I had never seen a man so possessed with violent anger than this man before me now. "Of all the things to be embarrassed about, Trista, you should be more embarrassed to love a weak man who couldn't even protect you. Married or not—a man's love is supposed to protect a woman, not hurt them with it." He turned back to Harry, "That's where you miserably failed." His eyes caught the ring on my finger. " **Unfuckingbelievable!** " He said out loud before he strode out of the cottage.

Dimitris picked up the semiconscious Harry. "Let's get him cleaned up and I'll have my pilot fly him out of here."

"Is he okay? He doesn't look it." Lindsey scanned his face when Dimitris and Bass placed him on a chair while Emma was busy getting stuff to clean his wounds.

Dimitris busted out a cruel laugh before he planted a chaste kiss on Lindsey's forehead. "He should be grateful he only had to face Taylor. Bass and I were more than happy to help out, but I think Taylor did a good job beating the unforgivable ass."

After Emma handed the guys what they needed to clean his cuts and bruises, the ladies came over to me, since I was in bright utter shock. "Here's some iced water. Drink some, please."

"Taylor acted like any man would. He cares for you. You shouldn't be mad at him." Lindsey soothed my back while Emma wiped my tear-stained face with a cold cloth.

"I'm not mad at him. I'm just..." Everything. I was feeling _everything_ at the moment.

The guys again promised to fly Harry off of the island. Harry, though, didn't leave until he made me promise that I would give him an answer when I arrived back home. Once he left, I knew there was one thing I needed to do, seek out the man who helped me.

I found his dark figure in the alcove, sitting gloomily. The moonlight gave his form an untouchable look of beauty. Without glancing at me, he spoke out loud. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"You're really leaving? You don't have to."

He nodded, staring at the dark sea. "Guess you're back together?" There was a tinge of sadness in his voice.

I so badly wanted to erase it, but in my confused state, I didn't know how. "No. I'm still thinking about it. I've waited for this all year, but now that it's here, I don't know what to think of it; to be really honest with you."

"I'm sure you're just overwhelmed. You'll be jumping for joy once the shock settles. If he really makes you happy, then that's where you should be; with him."

He never failed to address my happiness and I knew he meant well, but this wasn't the time for that. I needed answers. "Taylor, about what you said earlier before everyone got back—"

Taylor sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling wildly before he responded. "That was random. I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position."

It might've been random, but his eyes told me differently. "Did you mean them though?"

"Sadly, yes, I did. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. I'll get over it. I'm sure you understand why I can't stay here even if you girls are leaving in a couple of days. I was supposed to visit my brother in Paris a couple of weeks ago anyway, but I've been stalling."

He never once mentioned anything about leaving to go to Paris, ever. "What? Why would you do that?"

Taylor shrugged, still not looking at me. "Shit happened."

I wanted to say more, but I didn't know what. Everything would've sounded so trite. "Taylor—"

"Really, Trista. I'm sick of talking." Taylor decided to stand up and quietly placed his hands in his pocket. He stood tall, handsome and suddenly in control. I stared back at his intimidating form, wanting to say a lot, yet I didn't know where to start. Taylor had been there for me even if I hadn't asked him to. He had been there and offered to be my pillar of strength, for weeks I had been dependent on him. The very thought of that made me feel scared. He was leaving and I wouldn't have him around to push me back into sanity if I needed it. I would have to stand on my own feet.

With a huge lump in my throat, I looked up to the man whose body I had reveled in. The man who brought me to such delightful heights I hadn't known possible. The very one who saved me and helped me breathe again. "With every fiber in me and with all of my heart, I thank you for...everything."

My hands wanted to reach out, but I knew better. Funny, how we were on this same spot only two nights ago, inseparable and unable to get enough of each other's bodies. Now, we stood like strangers. I knew we would've parted anyway, but I didn't expect it to be this cold and distant. I was always thinking that someday we'd even joke of what had happened between us during our summer here. I guess I had thought wrong. "I suppose we'll see each other around in LA then." I tried to sound light except I failed miserably. The urge to hug him was strong, but the thought of him pushing me off his body made me think otherwise.

Taylor was composed, bored and indifferent. He gave me an irresistible smile before walking away while my eyes followed him. "Sure. Don't forget to send me an invitation for the wedding," he yelled off, not looking back.

"Taylor..." I murmured to the night. My eyes watched the man walking away.

_I'll miss you._

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Six

# Trista

Taylor, as promised, left the next day without saying goodbye. Going through those couple of days was rigorous. I was counting down the hours until we were leaving for London. Then, maybe, my sanity could comeback to me.

No one really understood how relieved I was when we boarded the plane in Athens to head to London for the weekend, before we were going back home.

We were staying at Claridges for our entire weekend. The hustle and bustle of the city of London brought good vibes in my down and out demeanor.

"Home sweet home," Lindsey announced as she opened the door to our hotel suite.

"Sweet!" Emma chimed ahead of me.

We were dragging our luggage on the small pathway when the three of us froze in shock. "Holy shit!" We exclaimed as a dark figure stepped in front of us.

"Surprise?" Carter beamed, looking like a hot stud, those dark eyes never leaving Emma.

Lindsey pushed him out of the way. "Surprise my ass crack, Carter. Instead of freaking Emma out with your stellar-stalker-gawking efficiency, why don't you make use of yourself and put this luggage away?"

Carter moved closer to Emma and motioned to get her luggage away from her tight grip, but she just stood there like she didn't know what to do.

"Snap out of it, Emma! Now move that chunky ass out of the way. I need to unpack and whatever." I barked at her, just enough for her to get out of that weird Carter funk.

_Bass Cole better hold on to this woman tight cause the ex was officially back, and he's out to get her back._

After we finally picked which rooms we wanted, we agreed to be ready in two hours to dine somewhere.

" _Ready?_ " Lindsey asked through the door whilst giving it a knock. I could hear her heels thump on the floor while she paced.

With a heavy sigh, I scrambled to hunt down my gold clutch to go with my dress. I was in the middle of shoving my lipgloss and credit cards into the tiny bag when Lindsey yanked my door open dramatically. She was dressed in a corseted, crepe, red dress with gold heels. Her long dark hair and brown eyes made her look sophisticated and righteously gorgeous. "This shit is a disaster. Dimitris and I had a major fight, and now Emma is inside her room talking to Carter. What's the plan? For Carter and Emma, I mean."

I smiled at Lindsey as I shook my head. "Like we need one? Emma's a big girl. She can handle it, I hope." The woman knew what she had with Bass. This was all up to her now.

My phone was sitting on my bed and I anxiously glanced at it before sticking it in with the rest of my items in the tiny clutch. No messages from Taylor. I knew we parted under the most radical circumstances, but I hoped that he could at least send me a text message or two, which was silly of me since we had never exchanged numbers. So, here I was, hoping he'd call Emma or someone to get a hold of me, but no such luck on that front.

"Miss him, don't you?" Lindsey muttered as she plopped on the bed, peering at me.

_Do I miss Taylor?_ I'm fiending for him. For weeks, he had been my addiction. Now, I was just an addict without my drug. Emotional withdrawals are bad, but the sexual withdrawals, were the worst.

"He wanted you to choose him, you know? I mean, you two didn't really talk about it, but I think deep down, he wanted you to choose him. He was too shaken up about Harry and the whole _let's get married_ and the whole _baby thing_ to even ask that of you. Taylor's crazy about you, Doll. I have no fucking clue why you'd let that hunky man run around Paris without you. There are a lot of brunette models in that city, you know. Not to mention the city of love _is like_ an hour away. Maybe you should hop over the pond and claim your prince? Do you really want him to have sexy times with brunettes now?"

Now, that was a total bitch move. Glaring at Lindsey, I became furious. "I may be a little gutsy at times, but I'm not all-the-time-ballsy like you, Lindsey. The first real relationship I had was with a married man. The second one was a total rebound and purely for sexual gratification. I don't have guys fall at my feet all the time like the rest of you girls. I suck at this and I totally suck at dealing with men." I was shaking now, so I had to sit at the foot of the bed to calm myself. "I don't deserve him, really. He's too good for me because I'm still in love with Harry, Linds. Taylor deserves more than that. He's a great man who deserves a woman who's not messed up and irrevocably tainted like me."

Lindsey was right next to me, holding my hand. "You are the sweetest and the most generous woman I know—okay maybe next to Emma cause that woman is oddly too nice. Taylor saw that. He saw through the hard exterior you put up to pretend that you were a badass beeotch. He appreciated you as a whole, but if it's Harry that can truly make you happy, then follow that road. I'm your friend, babe, and I will support you no matter what."

My arms squeezed her, hard. "Thank you. As much as you scare the fuck out of me sometimes, you're the best and I love you." I kissed her cheek before looking at her. "So, you and Dimitris? What's gonna happen now?"

That made Lindsey look away and stare at the wall. "He wants to make it official, like boyfriend and girlfriend official. I don't think I'm ready for that type of commitment. He wants all or nothing and I threw that stupid ultimatum in his face—even though that face was made for masturbation."

That made me snort and laugh at the same time. The stupid combination was painful. "I don't know how you make serious stuff so funny, Lindsey! Go for it. Not every man is like Brody, you know. God knows that guy has groveled on his knees to hell and back for you to take him seriously, but you're relentless and now, you have another opportunity to have a good man that you could trust, one that hasn't plowed through Cece's field of wild oats."

"Yeah, but it's just too much. He lives on another continent and is a sought out actor on top of that. There are just so many reasons not to pursue it. I just want to leave it at that, a summer fling, since those really don't have a chance in hell to survive out in the real world. It was fantastic, but now it's over." Lindsey looked thoughtful as her words sunk in. She seemed to have accepted this fact and was not about to dwell on it anymore.

"I guess he and Taylor can chill and hunt down women together. Whatever." I stood up and offered my hand to help Lindsey up from the bed. At the same time, I could hear Emma's door open and close. The blast from the past couple appeared in our room. Emma's cheeks were pink, too much blushing, perhaps?

"'Bout damn time you two come out of that stupid room. Were you guys having sex or what?" Lindsey accusingly glared at them, arms folded as she studied their faces.

"Goodness, Lindsey! What the hell! We were just talking!" Emma interjected, miffed that her friend would think of her that way.

"Lindsey, will you please ease up on us? We're just talking, nothing more. So, how about I take all three of you lovely ladies out to dinner and catch up." Carter guided us out of the room. I noticed that his hand stayed on Emma's back and saw how she stilled even at the lightest touch from him. The woman definitely wasn't immune to him.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Seven

# Trista

We got into a black cab that was going to take us to dine in Rhodes Twenty Four restaurant, close to the London Bridge. "No, dude. You sit over there. It's the perfect spot where we can watch you." Lindsey pointed at the small square of a flip down seat that was attached behind the driver's separator panel. We were seated nicely, facing the jock. Carter wasn't fazed, whatsoever.

"So, how did you get out of playing soccer since it's in season?" I asked the man who wouldn't let up at checking out Emma.

Carter grinned wider before he spoke up. "You know, I had to get creative. I told the coach that I had a family emergency in London and I swore to head back out Sunday with my baby sister. Coach wasn't convinced at first, but he finally gave up after I wouldn't let him off the hook."

Like his coach had a choice, the Mason siblings were two relentless beings.

"Bet he was pissed at your persistence—" Lindsey muttered before she paused and nudged Emma's arm. "Your phone's vibrating, aren't you going to pick that up?"

Emma immediately took the call, as the rest of us remained silent, watching her. "Hello?" She murmured.

I didn't even have to guess who was the caller since there was a catch in her voice that gave it away.

"Yep, we're on our way to a restaurant on some high building close to the Tower of London, I believe. Hey, can you move somewhere that's not too noisy? _Where are you?_ " Emma started to sound suspicious before she continued on. " _Are you in some kind of a club, Bass?_ " She started to pick on her nails as she listened to his explanation. " _In Paris_ with Dimitris and Taylor? Since when did you all start having guys' night?"

The sound of his name attached to partying made my insides churn like they were in an industrialized washing machine.

Emma gave a long sigh before she responded to Bass. "Okay... well, be safe then. I'll see you Sunday. Yeah, miss you, too."

After she ended the call, no one said a word. I was sure we were all thinking about certain respective men in our lives. Our thoughts were wreaking havoc in our minds, thinking of them and some hot French models, dancing and laughing the night away. Even if Lindsey was convinced that she and Dimitris were better off, I knew deep down she was affected that the Greek McHottie was in Paris. All three men with no women by their sides, all single and ready to party the night away. Yeah, this night was going to torment us.

"Guess Bass is doing a-o-kay without you next to him. He sure will be checking out the ladies." Carter broke our thoughts with his venomous remark.

"For the love of all that's holy, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Lindsey spat at him. Carter looked taken aback from the ferocity of her words, and gladly remained silent until we got to our destination.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Carter tried to get us out to some bar, but the three of us just wanted to go back to the hotel and sulk, though none of us were brave enough to admit the fact.

Here we were in the great city of London, but our thoughts were somewhere in Paris. Funny wasn't it?

At a quarter past three in the morning, I grudgingly got out of bed due to being severely parched. I hadn't slept a wink and I was bound to be awake for the rest of the day.

Ever since we got back to the hotel, all I did was stare at the engagement ring Harry had given me. The expensive bauble seemed to mock me.

I was putting the cap back on the bottled water when I jumped out of my skin as a figure appeared out of nowhere. "Shit! Carter!" I yelled at the boxer-clad man. He gave me a light chuckle then a small yawn. I couldn't help checking out those impressive thighs of his. Emma kept yapping about them back in the day and I never understood her fascination _until now_. They were thick and honed to muscular magnificence.

I stopped drooling over those epic thighs—and nice body—after it dawned on me that he was wearing boxers coming out of Emma's room. "You stupid little shit! You didn't have sex with her, did you?" I hissed, careful not to wake the girls up.

That definitely made him frown. "I was close to making a move, but I stepped back. I knew if I did that, my chances would get slimmer. She needs to trust me and I need to be patient to earn that from her."

_Well, the man did grow a heart after all._

What the hell was Emma doing? She was playing with fire having Carter so close. Even if she wasn't doing anything with him, it still was dangerous. "Bass is going to flip about this, Carter. Why show up here? You could've waited until she got home."

"That was the plan, but fuck, Tris. I fucking miss her. I just wanted to see her for a couple days, that's all. I just wanted to be around her smiling and laughing at some stupid jokes. _It's bad_. _I've got it bad_. You don't know how hard it is to fight for something you lost. The fucked up part was that it was too late when I realized _just_ how much I fucking love her." Carter ran his hand over his hair and sighed, closing his eyes. Without opening them, he asked me a question. "Is he good to her? Does he love her?" Each word came out with such pain that I didn't have to guess how much it cost him to say them.

"I think he does. He definitely looked like he did to me. Bass treats her with kindness and loving affection like a woman should be treated. If Bass makes her happy, you have to set her free. Confusing her will not make her go back to you, Carter."

"That's like asking me to stop playing soccer, Trista. It'll never happen, even if she was married to another man. She still loves me, I know it, though she won't admit to it. She might be an actress, but lying about her love for me was something she was never good at."

I stared at him, speechless, as he went back inside Emma's room. _Fuck, Emma. Please, be careful._

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Eight

# Trista

The next day, we found ourselves in The British Museum. The four of us were admiring The Elgin Marbles that were originally from the Acropolis of Athens, when we heard an American girl speak behind us.

"I don't want to be weird, but are you that new actress that was on E! News filming that movie in Greece _with_ Bass Cole? Emma Anderson, right?" The tall, strawberry blonde, valley girl asked, hopeful and a tad star-struck.

"That would be me." Emma smiled at her first official fan. "I wasn't aware that they ran it already."

The fan was all bright-eyed and smiling from ear to ear. "Oh gosh, they totally did, like a week ago. My friends and I are doing the whole Euro-trip thing. Do you think I could get a picture with you?"

"Sure, just give me your camera and I can have my friends take the picture."

Carter stepped in and offered his hand towards the fan. "Here, let me take the pic. I promise I'll only take it from the best angle." He then immediately took care of the shot before handing it back to the girl. "Here you go."

"Shit, you're _her soccer boyfriend, aren't you?_ Do you think I can get a picture of the two of you, please? You guys look so perfect together!"

Before we knew it, Carter stood behind Emma and wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. The fan, of course, took a few instead of just one. "Thank you, Emma. I promise I'll watch your debut movie. I'm sure you're going to be amazing. See you on the big screen very soon!" The fan waved before retreating towards her friends.

Emma glared at him after Carter unwrapped his arms from her neck. "Did you really have to kiss me, Carter? And for the record, you and I are done. So, do the rest of us a favor and take those pictures down from your page please."

Lindsey excused herself to pick up a phone call. She moved up ahead of the rest of us before she took it, though.

"Why? Bass Cole can't take a little competition?" Carter cockily said.

"God, Carter! You cheated on me! As far as I'm concerned, you and I are through." Emma grated on him, her eyes spat fire.

Carter's jaws locked as he stared at the woman he was so crazy about. "So if Bass cheats, too, you're going to dump him?" He bit out. His words were like bullets to Emma.

"Damn you, Mason. That's fucking enough! Really, please, she's already had enough." I interrupted their little spat. I wasn't sure what these two had been up to talking all night long, but I wasn't going to let Carter put doubts into Emma's brain.

Whatever Carter Mason needed to say or do, he could pick up where he left off in Santa Barbara, but until then, he could just kindly shut the hell up.

It had been five days since we got back from our vacation and I was more than antsy since I was going to see Harry tomorrow night. These five days, though, were terrible since thoughts of both Taylor and Harry hounded me day in and day out. My only consolation was that we were now in our new rented house, and just as Lindsey promised, I got to enjoy my morning cup of Joe with some nice, hot men as distractions.

Amber came back two days ago and I must say it was the best feeling to see my friend back after so long. She was still the same, sassy and bitchy as ever. Spilling my guts out about what happened wasn't the easiest thing, but Lindsey was there for me when I couldn't go on any longer. As to be expected, Amber wasn't very forthcoming about her situation, although she did promise that she was off her cocaine habit. At that point, Lindsey and I were just more than relieved that she was actually paying heed and had stopped her deadly addiction to drugs.

It was obvious that Amber was still coming to terms with whatever shit she had gone through. I wasn't going to force the issue, but whenever she was ready to spill her demons, I was always here for her, no matter what.

When Saturday afternoon, rolled in, I was ready to collapse from the nerves I felt about seeing Harry again. The man had booked the Four Seasons cottage for the occasion. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be offended about his lack of sensitivity or to be touched since that place held so many great memories of us together.

Dressed in a cotton baby blue, long dress that matched my eyes and nude, wedge sandals, I strode out of the parking lot of Four Seasons and headed towards the cottage. Had I made a decision? No, I had not, but I had the ring with me. Questions and more questions plagued my mind since Harry and I didn't get the chance to talk much the last time I saw him. Taylor made sure the man was in no condition to do much of anything.

When I rounded the corner, the first thing I saw was Harry leaning against the cottage door, waiting. He gave me a dashing smile when he saw me walk towards him. "You look beautiful as always." He greeted me with a big hug before kissing my cheek.

I could see that he still had a few bruises from Taylor's act of madness, but Harry didn't even address it. "Do they hurt?" I pointed at the yellowish, bruised spot on his face.

Harry took hold of my hand and guided me inside. "Not anymore. I can't say I blame him. I deserved each shot."

That was honest of him to admit that.

He spun me around, his eyes pleading. "I'm sorry, but this is killing me. Do you have an answer to my proposal?"

"No, I don't. I have so many questions, Harry. How do you think Becka and the rest of the family will react to this? You're going to be a father soon, for crying out loud. Divorcing Becka and then proposing to me was fucking insane. Especially after you ended things when you found out I was carrying your baby." Sighing, I continued. "How do you expect me to trust you after what you've done to me? If it wasn't for Taylor being there, I would be dead by now."

Harry frowned, as he stood closer. "What do you mean by that, Trista? You wouldn't have died." His voice was paper thin, but I heard him loud and clear.

"I was swimming at night. I wasn't even thinking about suicide, it never occurred to me, but something changed while I was out there. I remembered feeling free of the weight of everything just before I passed out. If it weren't for him, swimming out to come and get me, I wouldn't be here today." Events of that night surfaced in my mind's eye. The heartfelt concern from Taylor's eyes, the doubt, the scare, the horror and finally, his determination to make sure I wasn't stupid enough to attempt it twice.

"God, I feel like a monster. I had no idea you were that far gone with your pain, Trista," Harry whispered as he tried to read me, but my mind was back in Greece, with Taylor.

"He's gotten to you. I can see it in your eyes."

It was impossible not to. Taylor was different, a one of a kind man who marched to his own beat, most of all, he had a heart. This truly magnificent human hadn't left my thoughts. At. All.

It was _him_ now, the moment Taylor broke through my façade and my barriers, I had no chance in Hades of turning back, no chance to go on with life without him in it. He left himself there, inside my head and with my now willing heart. The decision _had_ been made... weeks ago. I just hadn't realized that until now. Without qualms, I handed the velvet, ring box back to Harry with a steady hand. "I can't marry you." Harry pushed my hand away, not willing to take the ring back.

He gave me a sad, teary smile, but spoke with a calm, clear voice. "Keep it. It was for you. I wouldn't know what to do with it."

"I'm not taking this with me Harry. Once I walk out of this door, I don't need any reminder of you, my guilt alone is enough. Tokens from you, I can live without."

When I took hold of his hand and shoved the box in it, he didn't argue. In a second, he had me in his arms, holding me like I was his lifeline. "I love you. I always will love you and I will always regret the day I hurt you. Losing you is my punishment; I don't know how I will survive without you. I want you to live your life. You deserve another chance at love, to marry someone who will never hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't man enough to protect what I had in the very beginning. That's my regret, not yours." I tasted tears when his lips met mine, but wasn't sure if they were mine or his; it was bittersweet. "Goodbye, my love."

After another kiss, he let go of me, stepping aside. I glanced at his sorrow-filled expression, but I knew this was it. As much as I loved Harry, there was no turning back the hurt, betrayal and the wasted love. "Goodbye, my love," I chokingly whispered behind him, before I slowly left the cottage. My heart broke, but the cracks were immediately filled with faith, for the future and for the man who held a major part of it, Taylor Montgomery.

## Chapter One Hundred Forty-Nine

# Trista

"Here's his address and cell number. I had to beg Bass and made him promise not to tell his bestie a damn word about it." Lindsey slid a piece of paper with her lazy scrolls into my hand before she sat next to me at the breakfast table. "You have to go and see him. Whether it's for closure or just to pop in and say hello, you have to go, Tris. You're never going to move on until you do. We both know it, so do this today."

Two weeks had passed since I said my goodbyes to Harry. For each of those fourteen days, I had tried to gather up courage to see Taylor, but I always ended up being a coward and kept pushing back the inevitable.

Amber yawned as she strode into the kitchen, joining Lindsey's campaign. "Yuppers. You gotta do it. You owe this much to him and to yourself. Stop thinking and just go." she said before she spun around to the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice.

"Tonight," I murmured to both of them. I had to make it or break it.

Tonight was my D-Day. I was scared shitless but it was today or never.

I had no idea what kind of car he drove, so I wasn't sure if that was his in the driveway, but I knew I had to try and pursue my heartfelt mission or I might never forgive myself.

My entire body felt like it had been electrocuted. My hairs stood up and I was uncomfortably jumpy. Each step I took heading towards the two, tall, black main doors, felt stone heavy. I tried to clear my muddled brain as I pushed the doorbell. _Breathe_. I was in the middle of rehearsing the things I wanted to say to him, but every thought vanished the moment my eyes connected to his. I stood there, speechless, nervous as hell and momentarily clueless. _Fuck._

For the past two weeks I had been so busy trying to figure out what to say to him that I had overlooked what it would do to me _to_ see him again. My memories didn't do him justice. My dreams couldn't compare to the realness of him. The overwhelming feeling of happiness, sadness, desperation, fright and insecurity were eating me whole as we stared at each other in utter shock.

"Trista?"

My teeth caught the bottom of my lip as my eyes took in his dressed state. "Hi...you're going out?" Taylor was wearing a black, expensive tux, unbuttoned around his neck with a black bowtie hanging around it, looking irresistibly and sinfully sublime. _Good God, how did I even think it was possible not crave this sexy monster?_

"I am, actually. I'm about to head out." He sighed and opened the door wider. "We can speak for a bit. What brings you here?"

Where was he going? I wanted to ask, but didn't want to cause any rift before I had to say my peace. "Thank you," I murmured past him, entering his home.

After he closed the door behind me, he motioned towards me to follow him. Quietly, I walked behind him as my eyes took in his home. It was not what I had expected; it was masculine, but homey. His living room was painted in pale honeydew with dark wood flooring and furniture. He had two, large, white linen couches facing each other, and they looked rather comfortable. One wall had floor-to-ceiling hardcover law books in numbered editions. I became so engrossed studying his living room that I forgot about Taylor until he spoke.

"You can take a seat if you want." His chin gestured at the couch while he stood there, hands in his pockets. I could tell he was studying me, probably waiting for me to get my shit together and start talking. _Why was this so difficult?_ I found myself leaning against the couch, my hand on the edge of the armrest, needing something to hold me up. "How are you? I heard you came back two weeks ago. I just came by to say hi and catch up." I blabbered out, awkward, edgy and utterly nervous. I sounded like a complete idiot and, at this very instant, I certainly felt like one. Taylor's distant attitude didn't help calm my nerves.

"I'm doing well—" He paused when the house phone started ringing. He cocked his head to check the time on the clock.

It was obvious that he was pressed for time. "You can go get it. I'll let myself out. Sorry for interrupting your evening. I hadn't—" My legs began leading out of there, but I paused as I was leaving the living room, when the voicemail picked up the call.

"Baby, it's Meg. You're not picking up your phone. So if you're on your way, don't mind this message. It's crazy, I know but I miss you already. _Hurry!_ " After a long beeping sound, the house became silent again.

The pain that seared me then was so severely violent, I believed I may have momentarily blacked out. Taylor was back with his ex, Megan, the one who he toyed with the thought of going back to.

_Right, why hadn't I thought of this scenario?_ My stupid brain was too caught up thinking about him and our time in Greece along with that time he asked me to be with him.

"Trista—" Taylor whispered behind me. I could feel him close, but he didn't reach out for me. The way he said my name told me it was too late. We had so much to say to each other, but there were no words to say.

There was no strength or will left in me to turn around and say goodbye. Instead, I just gave a shaky nod and pushed my legs to take me out of his house.

Just like that—with no words at all—I silently mourned my loss.

That's what we were to each other, so much yet not much at all.

Life was about chances. The bad ones always return, the good ones tend to come back, but the best ones haunt you for the rest of your life.

I had mine.

And I regrettably missed it.

Going home would only mean I had to face Lindsey and Amber. That was one thing I wasn't in the mood for. I needed to be alone to regroup for a night or two; I needed to cry out my agony, my stupidity and my lost chance to be happy with the guy who understood me. The man who had taken care of me even when I was a Class A bitch; even when I was pushing him away and calling him names. Through all of that he was there, unwavering.

It was barely six in the evening and I found myself checking-in at Chateau Marmont. It was funny really, I suppose you could call this my heartbreak hotel. It was the perfect place for me and I didn't want to be anywhere else.

Three hours later, I was still crying my guts out. I felt awful and empty like there was a big, gaping hole that needed to addressed. Honestly, I knew I shouldn't be crying because Taylor had moved on. I should be thankful that I had the opportunity to meet someone like him, to know how it felt to be with someone of his caliber. Most of all, because of him, I knew what it was like to have a man that truly made me happy. One day, I would look back on my time with him without any regrets, instead, I would look on those times with _hope_ , hope for a future where there was life after heartbreak and loss.

Taylor really was in truth, my dark angel. He referenced himself as such in the very beginning.

My heart poured with such endless emotions that I simply couldn't hold back any longer. While tears flowed freely down my face, I started to type him a text message.

**_I came by today with a lot to say, but the moment I saw you, I was at a loss for words. How do I start to form the words I needed to tell you then, but couldn't? I know I have to start somewhere, so, here I am, starting this while fighting the urge to delete this stupid message to begin with. Ever since that night you walked away from me in the alcove, you haven't left my thoughts, Taylor._**

**_I despised you in the beginning. You were arrogant and in my face about everything. Most of all, I hated how you had seen me at my lowest. You saved my life, yet I hated your guts more than ever. We clashed, we fought and argued whenever we could. One thing stood out, though, our attraction to each other was just as strong. The only defense I had was for us to keeping fighting and bickering, but when you stopped that, and started kissing me instead, all of the fight left me. You made me want you. You adamantly broke through my barriers and got through to me._**

**_You'll always be that special person I will think about when I'm old and gray. You taught me so much and, for that, I will always be grateful._**

**_Our time will forever be with me. Its mark will never be forgotten. I hope you find your happiness as you have wished for me to find mine._**

**_Greece will always and forever be yours..._**

Sent.

Goodbyes were the hardest ones. I was tired of giving them. I made a pact with myself that when I came out of this hotel suite, I would go home and look forward to starting my life again.

This past year may have contained the worst kind of struggles, torments and sins, but I was ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and reboot.

_This time_ , I was hell-bent to do it right.

## Chapter One Hundred Fifty

# Trista

I woke up today with a restlessness that I couldn't shake off. So, at six-thirty in the morning, I headed home and dressed myself to jog it out on the beach.

I needed to wear myself out since sleep was rather absent as of late. Though the happiness I had sought with Taylor was now nonexistent, I was comforted by the thought that I had my whole life ahead of me. The sick, depressing feeling had subsided as glimmers of sunshine were now breaking through my tinted life.

Half a mile in, I stopped jogging and stood close to the shore. At the far end of the ocean was the first break of sunrise. I stood there watching, too late to realize that I had tears streaming down my face until a man stood next to me and handed me his white handkerchief. I murmured my thanks as I wiped my eyes dry.

"It's beautiful isn't it? Sometimes beauty can be very deceiving. One day it's calm and quiet. The next, it's brutal." I glanced at the kind man with crow's feet around his warm eyes. "Whatever kind of demons you're dealing with, don't fret my dear child. Even Jesus forgave those who betrayed him, those who killed masses of people, those who had sinned more than you have. Guilt is a vile thing, but let it serve as a lesson never to be repeated because, when guilt comes back the second time, it's very unforgiving."

Shaking my head, I turned to the man, who I now noticed had a beaded rosary around his neck. "How did you—"

The man of God gave me a reassuring smile. "I see people like you on a day to day basis. Go on child, live with love and everything will be okay." He gave me another smile before he started to walk away from me.

That was seriously the greatest and, might I add, the oddest conversation I have ever had in my life. God worked in mysterious way it seemed. Even if I had abandoned him, the good ole man still looked out for me.

Yes, I was beyond comforted.

Sunrises, I wanted more of them. Today was a brand new day. My rebirth, my second chance, and I was done wasting any more time dwelling on the past.

"You promise to meet up with us? This is not some stupid excuse to make us go away?" Amber arched her brow at me, suspicious.

I groaned at her stubbornness. " _I promise, okay?_ Carter's house is a block away, seriously." Carter and the guys were throwing an end of the summer party that would continue until Sunday night. "I'm going to shower. Give me an hour to get ready. Bye." I strode out of the kitchen and went into my bedroom.

I heard our doorbell chime just before I jumped in the shower. "I'm leaving now!" Amber yelled at the top of her lungs.

Living with Lindsey and Amber was actually not so bad. We would occasionally bicker, but that was a given. I was excited to start school on Monday, but, most of all, excited to see Emma again tomorrow. Ever since we had left London, our contact with her had been scarce. She said she was busy with the movie wrapping up, but I knew it was pure bullshit. Emma was dodging something important. My only guess was Carter was causing rift between them. To what extent, I had no clue.

My heart ached for Taylor. Each day, I felt the agony of it. The only thing that kept me afloat was remembering how much he had persisted that I had to start learning how to fight through the darkness. "Fighting is progressive. Fighting is reason." He had once said to me. So, here I was, learning to fight, for my life and for my future.

Once I was out of the shower, lathered with body butter and with towel dried hair, I grabbed my periwinkle-colored silk robe, loosely wrapping it around me. I strode out of the bathroom and headed straight to my walk-in closet. I halted when my phone chirped with a text message.

**_Lindsey: Going to Carter's now. See you in a bit._**

Smiling, I responded.

**_Me: You betcha!_**

Right after I sent the message, something caught my eye.

I jumped out of my skin and no words came out.

"I got your message," Taylor said, matter-of-factly. He stood there, against my bedroom door with his hands slotted into his black jeans.

Starved, that's what I was. My body reacted to him immediately. _My God, how I have missed you._ Wetting my lips, I nervously tried to speak. "I sent that... a week ago."

_Why wasn't he moving away from the door? Did he just want to confront me about the message and then leave?_

"It took me the same amount of time to think about it."

"Oh, right. Um, let's go outside, we can talk there." I closed the gap between us, but when I tried to open the door, he was immovable. His eyes zeroed in on me. "Taylor?" My breath caught in my throat when our eyes clashed. He was _so_ close and I was having a hard time telling myself that he's with someone.

"So, you've missed me?" He questioned, his eyes probing for more than just my answer.

_Shit_ , I hope I didn't cause him any trouble with Meg. Okay, maybe I wished a tiny bit of trouble for her. "I'm sorry about the message. I didn't mean for it to—"

I found myself up against the wall before I even got to finish my sentence. "If you didn't mean it, then why write it to begin with?" His hand cupped my chin, his body close to mine as he hissed at me infuriatedly.

Taylor was here...he really was here.

My body was convulsing at the mere touch of his skin I hyperventilated when the very smell of him hit me, hard. My sense of smell was at its peak and I was endlessly hypnotized. I was out of breath, heady, and a few heartbeats away from fainting. "I meant every word."

Taylor hesitantly placed the side of his head next to mine, inhaling my scent before he whispered against my ear. "What happened to Harry?" There was a catch in his voice that spoke volumes.

_How did he expect me to respond when his hot breath was on my ear?_ It was impossible to form words and think coherently. I let out a soft moan when his lip grazed my earlobe. Brain, _please_ , think. "I realized too late that you were the one I wanted to be with."

When the tip of his tongue darted out and licked my lobe, I shivered from the burning heat. "Oh, fuck!" I yelped at the sudden erotic contact.

"I've missed you every single day you weren't with me. Missed you every hour you weren't in my arms; every minute I couldn't hear your voice and every second that I could not touch you." He breathed into me, his voice throaty, potent with emotion.

When his lips sucked on my neck, I whimpered. "Please..."

Taylor pulled away and gazed down on me. His eyes poured over all of me as mine begged him. "If you choose to be with me, I demand to have your honesty, your utmost and unwavering loyalty, solid trust and hopefully, _your love_. I hope to hear those words from you in the foreseeable future. If you can't give me all of these things, then we can't be together, Trista."

Was he really going to give us a shot? _After what I did?_ Tears filled my vision as I looked at him. "I don't deserve this chance with you, Taylor."

His thumbs wiped my tears of joy away. "Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I was determined to move on and try to forget you. I couldn't believe that after all those days and nights, when we were inseparable, that you could so easily choose him without thought. I had just gotten back together with Meg two days before you showed up. When you left my house, I was confused, but I tried to push it away from my thoughts. All of my efforts were for naught the second I opened the message, I knew I had to end things with Megan then. For seven days, I was going back and forth rereading that text whenever I could." His lips brushed the side of my lip. "You've caught me."

I inched my face to meet his lips. Just like that, we ignited each other into flames of passion. The kiss was demanding, painful, passionate and mind-numbingly beautiful. There were not enough words to describe the celestial bliss this lovely, amazing and uniquely divine creature brought out in me.

Taylor's hands hastily untied my robe and hungrily sought out my breast. "Trista," he groaned against my lips while my hands fumbled with his jeans. "Promise me that you're only mine this time."

I nodded, understanding the difficulty of his question since I was body and soul Harry's when we first started off. I knew I would have no problem, from here on out, thinking only of him. Taylor had me. I was his and he was mine. "I promise you, this time I'm only ever yours."

I barely pushed away his underwear before my hands desperately sought his manhood. My hand rejoiced at the hot silken feel of him. Taylor pushed me hard against the wall, making his thick cock hit against my stomach. His finger probed into me "Spread your legs a little wider. I want to taste you."

Hell to the no! "Later. Take me hard on the wall." I speedily said before I found my body pushed and lifted up as his cock slid perfectly inside me, his hard hot length demanding more. My body welcomed him. Each stroke brought out a cathartic euphoria. My nails dug into his back, deeply grazing it as I possessively ran my hands down to his ass.

We were both savages, like cats in heat and no amount of heavenly stroking from his cock would be enough for either of us. "Hang onto me. I want to carry you to bed." Taylor's hands held my ass cheeks as my arms wrapped around his neck.

He slowly lowered me down while his eyes worshipped me. The animalistic hunger we had just shared a second ago was now subdued to something else entirely. It was something absolute, complex, and, without a doubt, enigmatic as well as profoundly inescapable. Taylor's kiss sealed our fate. Just like destiny, it was simply and hopelessly unavoidable.

# Epilogue

### Three months later

**_Griffith Park Observatory, Los Angeles_**

**T aylor**

"I thought you said this place closed at ten at night? Looks pretty deserted to me for six pm." Trista observed as her eyes scanned the empty parking lot.

"Need you comment on everything woman?" I threw her an amused smile before gathering her close as we headed to our destination.

I guided her towards the stairs that led to the second floor of the observatory. She looked more than beautiful tonight and I couldn't be happier to have her in my life. She truly was a breath of fresh air. She was still feisty and was still unbearably crazy most times, but I adored her all the same. The hellcat challenged me in all ways imaginable. Even our sex life was dominated by her demands, though that part I was more than ready to oblige. If she thought I was insatiable then she was maniacally ravenous at any time of the day. We fought at times, but we agreed to not let the problems fester. We had to talk even if we were more than ready to just scratch each other's eyes out. Compromise. We learned it the hard way, but it was worth it. We were still learning as we went on. The best part about it was that we were both willing to do it together—for us to grow as a couple, as a whole.

"Oh, holy shit!" Trista exclaimed as she took in the setting before her. Candles were set up on the floor along with rose petals scattered throughout the room, which looked out over the city of Los Angeles. The cellist and the few violinists started to play atop the second-floor landing, _Lost_ by Michael Bublé.

"What's going on?" She shakily whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Seeing my vixen touched at my gesture, I was more than assured about our future together. "Happy three month anniversary, Trista."

"You do this after _three_ months?"

"For you, yes." I gathered her in my arms as my eyes scanned her pretty face. "These past few months with you have been amazing. You've driven me mad with worry, blasted me with rejection after rejection in the very beginning, but here I am, in love with you more than I have ever loved anyone. You can always count on me to be there with you; to sit with you when you need someone close, to help you stand when you can barely make it. I'm here for you, to guide you, help you, protect you, but—most of all—to share laughter and tears with you. I love you. I knew I did the moment you left me in Greece, and I'm letting you know now, how much you truly mean to me. I'll never leave your side. For as long as you'll have me, I will always be here."

"God, why do you always do things that make me cry beautiful tears?" She desperately kissed me before burning into my eyes. "I love you," she whispered shaking her head. "I owe you so much, but you never ask for anything back. How could I not fall in love with you? Everyday, I'm thankful for you. You were that light at the end of my dark tunnel, Taylor. I love you so fucking much."

"You have no idea how happy you've made me tonight. Hearing those words from you, after all this time, made everything worth it."

"Sir? Your dinner is ready." A man in uniformed attire interrupted us.

"Dinner, my beautiful siren, awaits. I have a long agenda ahead of us tonight. You need all the sustenance you can consume."

She went up on tiptoes and kissed me again. "I don't see any problems with that Boss."

We still had a long way ahead of us, but love did have a way of healing the wounded. The broken ones are the bravest. The ones who love with pure unadulterated abandonment; I had found, through Trista, that these ones gave the best kind of love.

read the next story in the Saga, Blasphemous.

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