 
WHODUNNIT MRS CHRISTIE?  
By Robert Challis

Published by Robert Challis at Smashwords. Copyright 1990 Robert Challis

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WHODUNNIT MRS CHRISTIE?

A three Act, single set play by Robert Challis. First performed by the Strathalbyn Players Inc in June I990.

ACT I \- Saturday afternoon. ACT II \- Sunday Morning. ACT III \- Monday Morning.

THE CHARACTERS

Lady Bayfield  
wealthy heiress, late sixties, ailing with weak heart. At first sight, everyone's idea of a nice old lady, but manipulative with a touch of spleen that is occasionally revealed.  
Thomas  
Her faithful old Butler. Similar age.  
Janet Drewer  
Lady Bayfield's secretary. In her twenties, an attractive but plain speaking and cynical young lady.  
Dave  
In his twenties. An Australian spiv.  
Greg Hodges  
Lady Bayfield's nephew - an unpublished writer of murder mysteries, cynical. Aged around thirty.  
Sarah Hodges  
Greg's wife. At times, withdrawn, but a determined woman of strong emotions.  
Agnes Buckley  
Lady Bayfield's sister. Early sixties. A good hearted, not over intelligent woman, with a weakness for the bottle.  
Ted Buckley  
Agnes's husband. Early sixties, a retired detective from the fraud squad. At times bumptious, at others, cunning and sycophantic.  
Inspector Rayner  
From the Oxford C.I.D. Somewhat supercilious, old school tie type. Nevertheless, a successful homicide detective.  
Agatha Christie  
The famous writer, aged 60, a good hearted woman with a sharp analytical mind.  
Doctor Simpson  
An efficient but inexperienced lady Doctor In her twenties.  
Constable Whittaker  
A young police officer.

THE SET  
I950. The living room of a well established and large country residence near Oxford. Although Lady Bayfield has lived here many years, rather than staid and conservative, the decoration conveys a slightly dotty feel.  
When first performed, the set was as follows:  
A large living room. Exits at the rear of stage left side flat and at the rear of stage right side flat. An alcove at the centre of the rear stage flat in which there is a sideboard/drinks cabinet. On top of this, several wine glasses and a drinks decanter. To stage left of the alcove, a painting hanging on the back flat. To stage right of the alcove, a telephone table and telephone against the back flat. On the stage right side flat towards front of stage, a bookcase with books. On the stage left side flat towards front of stage, a fireplace. Stage right, front of stage, an armchair. Just back and slightly closer to centre stage, a settee with a small coffee table in front of it. Stage left, a small table with two chairs.  
Minor rearrangements of furniture and props were required between acts.

ACT I

(Curtain opens. Janet on phone)

Janet: (Pause) Yes, that's right, Janet Drewer. Return tickets London to Paris. I'd like to cancel my booking. Yes. I have to collect my refund in person? Good. Thank you.

(She hurriedly hangs up as she hears people coming. Thomas and lady Bayfield enter, Thomas carrying her hat and coat. Janet hurries out past them as they enter stage left.)

Lady B: Rude girl. Now Thomas, I'LL be going just as soon as that taxi gets here.

Thomas: You're early. It'll mean a wait at the station.

Lady B: Better early then late.

Thomas: Can't I drive you there?

Lady B: No. I told you I want you here to greet the other guests. A taxi will be fine.

Thomas: Janet can meet the guests. It's only your nephew and his wife still to arrive.

Lady B: Janet! I wouldn't trust her. I wouldn't put it past her to make a scene.

Thomas: Oh, I don't think she'd do that.

Lady B: You don't know her the way I do. I've a good mind to let her go.

Thomas: You've been threatening that for months.

Lady B: There you are then. It must be high time to do it.

Thomas: But Madam...

Lady B: No buts. I don't want to discuss the matter any further. Help me on with my coat.

Thomas: (Helping her) Whom are you meeting at the station?

Lady B: That's my little surprise, Thomas, and believe me, it will be a surprise.

Thomas: That's what you've been saying all week.

Lady B: Then it must be true.

Thomas: What I don't understand, Madam, is if your guest is so special, why such a small gathering this weekend? Apart from Janet and myself, there's only your nephew and his wife, and your sister and her husband.

Lady B: Ah but this is going to be a special weekend. Greg and Agnes are the only family I can still count on, and I want this to be a family weekend. (Pathetically) They're all I've got, you know.

Thomas: But with only the seven of us, it doesn't make for much of a murder weekend. It cuts down the options.

Lady B: You'll be surprised, Thomas. This is going to be a murder mystery with a difference. You may as well know it. This is the last time I shall call a meeting of our little group.

Thomas: Madam, the last!

Lady B: Yes Thomas, the doctor has been telling me for a long time that my heart just can't stand up to the excitement any more. And now I've been given an ultimatum - give up on these murder weekends or my days are numbered.

Thomas: (Shocked) Surely not, Madam.

Lady B: And I'm afraid to say I'm inclined to believe it. One can sense it, you know. A weak ticker, struggling to get through the day. The tablets can only do so much. There's going to be a night before long when I go to sleep never to wake.

Thomas: You shouldn't be talking this way.

Lady B: One has to face facts, Thomas. I'm not afraid to die. I've had a long and interesting life \- you can't ask for more. So this weekend is going to be my swansong. I'm determined to go out in a blaze of glory. And so I'll be ending the weekend with a reading of my new will.

Thomas: (Dismayed) Another one, Madam?

Lady B: Don't be dismayed, Thomas, you get a more than honourable mention in this one.

Thomas: But wouldn't it be better to keep it all to yourself? It can only cause bad feeling.

Lady B: I thought you'd be pleased. (she touches him on the shoulder) You didn't get a mention in the last one. But I've forgiven you for our little difference.

Thomas: (Drily) So kind of you, Madam. But do you have to make it all so public' Why not a fake will? That would serve just as well for the game.

Lady B: But it adds such a zing to the weekend. We have our pretend murder but - we've got a real life motive. So everyone knows the game we're playing could really happen, if anyone just had the courage.

Thomas: Courage! It's murder you're talking about.

Lady B: But to kill a human being, Thomas, even yourself, takes immense courage. I'm really not sure that there's a single one of us capable of it. We're a bunch of cowards.

Thomas: Cowardice in not all that prevents a man committing murder, Madam.

Lady B: Oh? Please enlighten me.

Thomas: There's decency, respect for law.

Lady B: (Delighted) Oh, Fiddlesticks.

Thomas: (Thoughtfully) You know, Madam, there have been times when I've been wondering if the real thrill of this game for you is in seeing how far you can push people - just what their limits are before they go over the edge.

Lady B: (Impishly) Oh don't be silly, Thomas. You're all family - the only family I have left. I regard you as part of my family, you know. And you all enjoy the game as much as I do \- despite everything you say behind my back.

Thomas. (Clearing his throat) I just think you're asking for trouble making your will public and then changing it. It'll test out the best of friendships. And there's no surer way of causing bad feeling within a family.

Lady B: Well, Thomas, I promise that this will be the last one, if it'll make you feel better.

Thomas: It does, Madam.

Lady B: (Cuttingly) Of course it does. You do very nicely in this one.

(Thomas glares. She pretends not to notice. Sound of car horn outside)

Now that's my taxi. I shouldn't be long if the train's on time. Tell everyone to assemble here at half past three to meet my special guest. She'll knock you for six, believe me.

(She exits left. Thomas goes to cabinet backstage and begins getting glasses out ready)

Thomas: Janet!

(More work on glasses. Janet enters left from inside the house.)

Janet: What is it Thomas?

Thomas: Is Mrs. Baxter here yet?

Janet: No, but she should be here in a few minutes. She can start on dinner straight away.

Thomas: Good. Could you see that there's some cooled water ready for Madam in the fridge, and water by her bedside.

Janet: Good idea. Do you have any rat poison I could drop in it?

(Janet exits right. Front door bell rings. Thomas exits to entrance hall left and re-enters with Dave. Dave immediately gets himself a drink. Thomas is very edgy)

Thomas: Use the servants' entrance, I've told you.

Dave: That's a nice greeting.

Thomas: You know I don't want anyone to see you here.

Dave: No need to be ashamed of me. (He sits down on sofa with his feet up)

Thomas: Ashamed of myself more. You could ruin me here.

Dave: I thought the old lady knows you keep bad company.

Thomas: She knew. I promised I'd give up the horses after the last disaster.

Dave: It's in the blood. You can never give it up. (pause) So you don't think you could touch her for another loan?

Thomas: Don't be ridiculous. If I got into a jam like that again, well, I don't know - I'd hate to think what might happen.

Dave: (laughing) At your age too. I'd have thought you'd have learnt some moderation by now.

Thomas: Well did she see you coming in?

Dave: Don't you worry. Young David Bains is too slippery for that.

Thomas: Where did you put the motor bike?

Dave: (Rising and moving forward) Just as you told me. I parked her up the road a bit and hiked the rest. Saw the old lady passing in a taxi, so I thought, lovely day like this, nice big house, long drive, I'll walk right up to the front door and greet me old mate Thomas.

Thomas: So she didn't see you?

Dave: I told you...

Thomas: That's all right then. But if anyone else runs into you here, you're my nephew down from Australia. Understand?

Dave: Sure. You worry too much. Where's Janet, by the way?

(He goes to exit right. Thomas brings him back)

Thomas: (Hissing) I told you, I don't want anyone to know you're here.

Dave: Janet knows me anyway.

Thomas: I know, but she might let it slip that you've been here.

Dave: Well where is she? Taken a bit of a shine to me, I reckon. It's the old Aussie good looks.

Thomas: I don't know where she is. Are you here to see her or me?

Dave: Oh that's right. Slipped me mind for a moment. Listen Thommo...

Thomas: Don't call me Thommo.

Dave: Sorry mate. Look, I've got a sure thing this afternoon.

Thomas: Another?

Dave: This one's different. It's a scheme.

Thomas: What sort of scheme?

Dave: An accumulator.

Thomas: Oh, one of them.

Dave: That's right. You put your money on a horse in the first race. If it wins, it all goes on the second race. If you win again, it all goes on a horse in the third race, then...

Thomas: I know, I know, big money. But if any one of them loses, you've blown the lot.

Dave: But this time it's different. I worked out a sequence of three sure fire.

Thomas: I've heard that before.

Dave: Just listen. Sea Fever in the first, Banbury Boy in the second...

Thomas: I don't know about Sea Fever. There's some good horses in that race.

Dave: Trust me, he's a certainty. I put your five quid on it. Four to one.

Thomas: All right, but he's not a certainty.

Dave: That's where you're wrong. Look at the time.

Thomas: (Looking at clock on mantle-piece) It's already been run.

Dave: Swarmed all over them at the finish. Won by a nose. Twenty five crisp ones in me pocket. (He takes out money and holds it in front of Thomas)

Thomas: Twenty five pounds! Well done Dave. I can use that.

Dave: (Snatching the money out of his reach) But here's the idea. Hold off on the twenty five. Put it all on the next - Banbury Boy, then...

Thomas: Banbury Boy's favourite.

Dave: Even money. Dead cert. Double your money - fifty quid, then put the lot on Half a League in the last.

Thomas: Half a League hasn't won in months.

Dave: But here's the rub. The bookies know that too - so he's twelve to one.

Thomas: So they think he's no good.

Dave: Just keep quiet and listen. Now I happen to know the trainer, Ron Foster. I was drinking with him Friday. He said, jumping out of his skin, that horse.

Thomas: Same old story.

Dave: But there's more. He said, all we need is a good pace set - a bold front runner, and Half a League'll run all over the top of them at the finish.

Thomas: All right, but what if no one sets a fast pace?

Dave: (Touching nose) Just leave it to your Uncle Dave. I happen to know Johnny Wade, rider of Boy Blue in the same race.

Thomas: But Boy Blue doesn't stand a chance.

Dave: That's right, so the jockey'll be partial to a little sling up front.

Thomas: (Interest growing) What are you getting at?

Dave: Twenty five to Johnny to take his horse to the front and set the pace we want, then we sit back and watch Half a League bring in the money. Fifty pounds at twelve to one, that's six hundred clear profit.

Thomas: Six hundred....

(Thomas wanders to right, front. Dave follows)

Dave: So we're on then?

Thomas: (To himself) That would be just the right start.

Dave: A start - it's more than a start, mate.

Thomas: For my scheme - six hundred - build up a stake....

Dave: You're dreaming now. Six hundred in the pocket. All I need is...

Thomas: A couple of big bets - a few hundred at fives, then the really big one, maybe five or ten thousand. I'll be a man of substance.

Dave: Step at a time mate. Now I was wondering...

Thomas: One day, Dave, I'll get that stake together - a run of luck, that's all I need. God knows if it isn't owing to me. Then I'll be someone.

Dave: Throw in this job here.

Thomas: No, no, I'll stay hare, but it'll be different. A bit more respect. I won't be Thomas any more. I'll be Mr. Thomas.

Dave: (Laughing) Mr. Thomas.

Thomas: You can laugh, but I've dreamed of it. One day, Lady Bayfield will look me in the eye and say, Mr. Thomas, would you mind driving me to the station. And I'll say, with pleasure, Lady Bayfield, with the utmost pleasure.

Dave: But we're running out of time here. I need twenty five pounds.

Thomas: Respect, in her eyes. Not just the butler anymore, a real person. Then I could die happy. That's all I ask.

Dave: Twenty five quid I need mate, for the sling to Boy Blue's jockey. Twenty five quid.

Thomas: Twenty five pounds? But can't you take that from the profits of the second race?

Dave: And halve the stake on the last leg? What do you want, three hundred quid or six hundred?

Thomas: But twenty five pounds...

Dave: You were paid this week weren't you?

Thomas: Yes but...

Dave: Six hundred quid.

Thomas: Wait a second.

(Thomas exits right. Dave goes to cabinet, pours a drink, comes down to the centre front of stage and holds his glass up in a toast.)

Dave: Here's to your twenty five pounds, you mug. (drinks)

(Thomas enters from right, holding bank notes in his hand. He gives these to Dave who turns his back to Thomas, flicks quickly through the notes, counting them, puts them in his wallet, grins to himself then turns back to Thomas.)

You won't regret it, mate. Remember, ten percent to me when it's over.

(Door bell sounds.)

Thomas: Somone coming. You've got to get out. I don't want you seen here. Up the hallway, through the kitchen, then out the servants' entrance. (ushering him out exit left)

Dave: Is that all the thanks I get?

(Exits left into the house. Thomas exits left to front door and returns a moment later with Greg and Sarah Hodges. Greg puts a small travelling case down just inside the room next to the entrance.)

Sarah: And how are you today, Thomas?

(She goes and sits left end of settee. Greg goes to sit in arm chair)

Thomas: Fine thank you, Mrs. Hodges. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Lady Bayfield. She's had some bad days lately, I'm afraid.

Sarah: Her heart again?

Thomas: I'm afraid so.

Greg: This might be our last visit, then? (Thomas reacts)

Sarah: For Heaven's sake, Greg, don't start.

Greg: And where was she off to in such a hurry?

Thomas: Sir?

Greg: We passed her on the road on our way in.

Thomas: She's meeting her guest at the station.

Greg: (Interested) Oh? And who's it to be this weekend?

Thomas: She's not saying, but she says it's someone very special.

Greg: No clues?

Thomas: Madam did let slip that the guest is a lady.

Greg: Really? That narrows it down a bit. Not too many retired detectives who are female. Perhaps a famous detective's wife. Or a forensic expert maybe? There's plenty of women in that line. Or maybe another publisher. Let's hope.

Thomas: (With a hint of sarcasm) Still looking for a publisher, Mr. Hodges?

Greg: (Suddenly animated, rising from his seat and walking across stage) Damn, in this writing business, it's not how well you write that counts, it's whom you know. I'm not an arrogant man, God knows, but it gets on your goat when you see some of the rubbish that gets published. At least my murder mysteries have some depth to them.

Thomas: It must be a trial, Sir.

Greg: (Looking sharply at Thomas) of course, most people don't recognize quality when they see it.

Thomas: Madam has some contacts in publishing.

Greg: So she keeps telling me, and promising introductions.

Thomas: I understood she introduced you to someone from Penguin.

Greg: Not interested in new authors - that's the problem.

Sarah: Perhaps you're aiming too high.

Greg: (Angry) Rubbish. When you've got talent and you know it, you've no choice but to exploit it. Don't you agree, Thomas?

Thomas: Certainly Sir. That's why I've been a butler for the past thirty years.

Greg: (Glancing at him) Some kind of grand publicity stunt, that's what you need. Get a name for something, then the publishers will queue up. You know the best way to get a book published these days?

Thomas: I've no idea Sir.

Greg: Prison.

Sarah: You're not serious!

Greg: Get yourself put away for some particularly despicable crime, and believe me, you're laughing all the way to the bank.

(Greg goes to backstage and pours himself a drink. Then he returns to armchair)

Thomas: It does seem a little drastic, Sir.

Sarah: Who are the other guests, Thomas?

Thomas: There's just you and the Buckleys this weekend, Mrs. Hodges.

Sarah: That's unusual.

Greg: Everyone else is sick of her, no doubt. Only those mentioned in her Will bother coming.

Sarah: That's unfair on your aunt.

Greg: Is it?

Thomas: Madam was particularly keen to limit it to family.

Greg: Really? I wonder why.

Thomas: She says it's to be her last murder weekend. She can't maintain the pace any more. Doctor's orders.

Greg: Well, I thought the old stick was indestructible. And who's going to get bumped off this time, Thomas?

Thomas: I have no idea, Sir.

Greg: Really, her plots have been getting thinner and thinner. Last time, I had the murder solved in the first half hour. I spent the rest of the weekend holding my tongue so as not to disappoint her.

Thomas: It's gratifying to see you so concerned for your aunt's feelings.

Greg: (Stung) Well you have to butter up the old battle-axe. With what she leaves me when she pops off, I'll be set up for life.

Sarah: Really Greg, this is too much.

Greg: Is it? I'm sick of hypocrites. I'm honest about what I'm here for. I couldn't say the same for a few others I could mention. (Meaningful look at Thomas)

Thomas: If that will be all, Sir, perhaps I can take your bags to your room. You're in the usual suite.

Sarah: Thank you, Thomas.

Thomas: (On his way out exit left) Oh, I nearly forgot. The welcome for guests is here at three thirty.

(Thomas exits)

Greg: (Looking at watch) It's just after three now. Perhaps you'd like to freshen up. Make a good impression on the old bat.

(Greg stands)

Sarah: Why do you have to be so painful?

Greg: Maybe it's the company I'm in.

Sarah: Should we ask for separate rooms, then?

Greg: I don't know why you insist on coming with me. A break from my company would do wonders for you.

Sarah: I'm your wife, for crying out loud.

Greg: And since you're here, make sure you behave like one. You know my aunt's views on marriage. I won't have you rocking the boat.

Sarah: (Drily) You'd prefer me to say nothing about the divorce then?

Greg: Not so loud, Damn you.

Sarah: Look, Greg, can't we talk about it?

Greg: Not here. It's the wrong place.

Sarah: (Stands) Then what's the right place?

Greg: There's nothing to talk about. We've been through it all, over and over.

Sarah: That doesn't mean anything's settled. I'm not agreeing to a divorce.

Greg. (Exasperated) I don't understand you. How can you live with a man who loves someone else?

Sarah: You're my husband. You can't just throw, away all those years. You used to be so different.

Greg: The only difference is that now I've seen the light.

(Pause)

Sarah: (Calmly) Who is she Greg? How do I know she even really exists?

Greg: Oh, she exists all right, and when you agree to a divorce, I'll tell you, and I'll even give you photographs to take to your lawyer. (Sarah reacts) But until you agree, I'll tell you nothing. She's the one wild card in my hand, and I won't give that up.

Sarah: This isn't a game of cards we're playing, or one of your rather contrived mysteries....

Greg: (Interrupting) Now that's it, the core of our differences. But she's not like you. She supports me. You downgrade me. You'd shackle me to a clerk's job somewhere, and a lifetime of mediocrity.

Sarah: How easy for her to encourage you. She doesn't have to live with it. Please Greg, I don't want a lifetime of mediocrity, but there's got to be balance, some planning for the future, a family.

Greg: That's the beginning of the end as far as I'm concerned.

Sarah: That's not what you used to say.

Greg: That was before I met....

Sarah: I won't give you up, Greg. I'm warning you. You're my husband. I'm a desperate woman.

Greg: If you're threatening me, you're wasting my time. Just by attaching yourself to me like a ball and chain - you're already doing your worst.

Sarah. (Breaking down) My God, how can you say that? I'm your wife. No one will break us apart. Don't you know I love you? I can't live without you. (She is holding his arm in a pleading posture)

(Confusion on Greg's face. Janet enters, looks significantly at both of them. Greg turns away from Sarah.)

Janet: (After a pause) Lady Bayfield should be back in a few minutes - if you want to unpack or anything.

Greg: You go, Sarah, I couldn't face it.

Sarah: (As she exits left) The story of your life.

(Greg and Janet watch her exit, then fall into each other's arms and embrace passionately.)

Greg: She's still making difficulties over the divorce.

Janet: Can't you force her?

Greg: How? She's the one with grounds for divorce, but she won't agree to it.

Janet: But you've got to make her.

Greg: I'll leave her, just as soon as I can.

Janet: That's not good enough. She has to divorce you.

Greg: What does it matter if we have each other?

(Greg goes to embrace her, but she turns away)

Janet: But it's different for a woman. If we're not married, how can I be secure?

Greg: You mean I might leave you in the lurch? Don't even think of it. I love you.

Janet: I have to. Maybe you said that to her once.

Greg: (Turning his back and walking away) I'll get a divorce. I will. Somehow I'll talk her round. I've got to. If only my aunt wasn't complicating things. If she got a sniff of divorce, she'd be liable to cut me out of the Will. How is the old cow? Thomas says her heart's playing up.

Janet: She saw the doctor the other day. She seems to think her days are numbered. Although you never know whether she's playing it all up for sympathy.

Greg: Well I wish she'd hurry up.

Janet: (Pause) She's changed her Will.

Greg: (Concerned) Oh? How do you know?

Janet: I witnessed it, since I'm not a beneficiary. Seven years working for her! I think she wanted to rub it in.

Greg: And what does it say?

Janet: She's taken a shine to your wife. Says she's the only thing keeping you on the straight and narrow.

Greg: The straight and narrow? The treadmill.

Janet: So you're still the main beneficiary, along with her sister, but she's written your wife's name in with yours.

Greg: What?

Janet: You heard me. It all goes to you in your joint names.

Greg: Good God, couldn't you talk her out of it?

Janet: I've no influence with her at present. Believe me, if I could have, I would.

Greg: Well can't you work on her? This is the third time she's rewritten the Will this year.

Janet: And that's not all. Thomas is back in the good books again. She cut him out entirely in the last. Now she's setting a nice little retirement nest egg on him.

Greg: My God, she just loves dangling us all on a string. Sort of a lottery when you think about it.

Janet: What do you mean?

Greg: Bad heart, an old lady - few weeks left, or months at best - hoping the old dear'll kick off when you're in favour. Maybe you should have put something in her coffee while the old Will was still in force

Janet: Don't even think like that!

Greg: I suppose the new Will is official now?

Janet: Yes. Thomas posted the original to the solicitors Wednesday. What are you getting at?

Greg: Nothing. Just a thought. An overdose of her heart pills - fatal heart attack, no surprise, completely undetectable. But we've missed our chance now.

Janet: That's murder you're talking about. You shouldn't let anyone hear you talking that way.

Greg: I'm always talking that way. Remember, it's my trade, writing murder plots. Why so squeamish suddenly? You usually like to play 'what ifs'.

Janet: Just a feeling. It's too near the truth.

Greg: Well I see no harm in it. It's had me intrigued recently - the problem of poisoning. How do you poison someone without it being detected. Simple - an overdose of a drug the victim is already taking. Don't believe the forensics - their science is too imprecise to detect the difference between a fatal and a normal dose. All they can tell is if the drug is there in the first place.

Janet: Well I think it's horrible.

Greg: Tell you what, though. I'd keep an eye on Thomas, or the Buckleys for that matter.

Janet: What do you mean?

Greg: Come on, you're not concentrating. If you were setting up a murder mystery, who has the best motive for bumping off the old bird?

Janet: You tell me.

Greg: Whoever's favoured by the latest Will. This week, Thomas and the Buckleys are in favour. I'm out. So are you. They're favoured by the Will. There's a lot of money involved you know. Maybe next week they'll be out of favour. She's going to die soon anyway - she's a sick old lady. So what about a little help along the way? A month or two difference either way isn't going to worry anyone over much. When you think about it, you'd hardly even call it murder, just a kind of assisted euthanasia.

Janet: Sometimes I think you're a madman.

Greg: Now you're sounding like my wife.

Janet: That's hitting low.

Greg: (Pause) I wouldn't call it madness, just a little creative thinking. There's more than one way to murder someone.

(He sneaks up behind Janet, closes his hands-round her neck. She reacts with pleasure. The Buckleys enter left from upstairs. Janet and Greg quickly separate.)

Ted: Not interrupting anything are we?

Greg: Hello Aunt Agnes. (Going to shake hands with him) Ted, how are you?

Ted: Well.

Greg: Just on my way up to my room. Have to be back here by half past apparently. Only gives me a minute or so. See you shortly.

(Greg exits left)

Ted: In a hit of a hurry, eh! Well what's the old duck got lined up for us? Bit of a surprise, I hear.

Janet: Apparently. I'm in the dark myself. Excuse me. I have some things I have to do.

(Exits right)

Ted: Well everyone's in a roaring hurry.

(Agnes goes to sideboard at the back and pours herself a drink. She brings the glass and the bottle to centre stage and puts the bottle on the table.)

Ted: Steady on Agnes, we've only just got here.

Agnes: Will you have one?

Ted: Should wait till we're asked, don't you think? (As she empties her glass) Now come on, take it easy.

Agnes: Afraid I'll show you up?

Ted: Yes, to be frank. We have to make a good impression on her.

Agnes. Afraid she'll cut us from her Will?

Ted: If she hasn't already.

Agnes: Drunk or sober, I'm still her sister.

Ted: Yes, but drunk you start shooting your mouth off.

Agnes: Anyway, I'm not particularly interested in her money.

Ted: Well I am.

Agnes: I thought you liked her.

Ted: But I do, in my way. But you know, its funny how when there's money involved, it cuts in on everything. Nothing is clean anymore. Friendship, family, they all take second place.

Agnes: Well you should know.

Ted: Just exactly what do you mean?

Agnes: Do I have to spell it out? The reason for your early retirement from the police force. My weakness for this? (She pours herself another drink)

Ted: Don't blame that on me.

Agnes: Why not? Everything else went sour when they drummed you out of your job.

Ted: Don't harp on about it. Do you want to ruin me here too? I wasn't drummed out anyway - I agreed to retire. No blot. No stain.

Agnes: That's not the way it felt at the time.

Ted: Your memory is too long.

Agnes: Too long! How long since the decisive moment in your life? Two lives. One before and one after. Shunned by all our friends. Gossiped about. Stared at. Do you wonder that I took to the bottle?

Ted: It was just a little sideline. A Hobby.

Agnes: Do you call forgery a hobby?

Ted: Exposing fraud was my speciality. It fascinated me. I had to try my own hand at it. Quite lucrative it was too.

Agnes: Until they caught up with you.

Ted: (Excited by the Idea) That's true. But even there I felt a fascination to observe myself being cornered and trapped just as I'd homed in on embezzlers and swindlers before.

Agnes: A lifetime of crime. Sometimes I think it makes no difference which side of the law you're on. It's all the same profession.

Ted: There's some truth in that although to be honest, I never really saw those types as criminals. Not in the same way as murderers and house breakers. To me, they were really shrewd operators, seeing an opportunity and exploiting it.

Agnes: At the expense of some innocent.

Ted: Gullible people deserve to be taken.

Agnes: It's easy to see you've repented.

Ted: My only regret is I got caught, and it cost me my pension. Which is why we've got to butter up the old lady.

Agnes: My sister.

Ted: Sister or no sister, there's a lot of money at stake, enough to set us up for the rest of our lives.

Agnes: I've told you I'm not interested in her money.

Ted: But you'll take it when it's willed to you. (Pause) I must say I'm tempted to try my hand at a little Will writing myself.

Agnes: You can't be serious.

Ted: Keep my hand in you know.

(Door bell rings. Agnes drinks the rest of her glass and takes it to the sideboard. She gives it a quick wipe with her clothes before replacing it on the sideboard. Thomas enters from the right as she is doing this. He glances at her, then exits left to front door.)

Ted: (As Thomas crosses) Best behaviour Agnes, remember.

(Agnes goes to settee and sits. Thomas leads in Lady B. and Agatha.).

Lady B: I can't tell you how glad I was when you said you'd come and address our little group of murder enthusiasts. But this weekend is going to be our last meeting, so I've restricted it to the inner circle -my own family, to be precise - the only relations I have who've remained faithful to me. Thomas, will you tell everyone that our guest is here?

(Thomas exits left, collecting on his way Agnes' empty glass from the sideboard)

Living alone in a big house like this, with only Janet and Thomas - he's such a comfort to me. He's the salt of the earth. We've had our little differences, but I couldn't get by without him. This is my sister Agnes, and her husband, Ted Buckley. I won't introduce you properly until the others are here. I don't want to spoil the surprise. Have you recognised my guest, Ted? (Lady B. sits next to Agnes)

Ted: No I haven't.

Lady B: Agnes doesn't share our enthusiasm for murder, so she comes here on sufferance. But Ted used to be a detective.

Agatha: Oh really? Where was that?

Ted: In London, although murder wasn't my line. Fraud squad you know. Fraud was my passion. But I enjoy these little murder weekends - a chance to hone up the deductive skills now I'm retired. Got to keep the old grey matter active.

(Janet enters from right with a jug of water which she puts on the sideboard).

Janet: Thomas told me you were back. (Turning to Agatha) How do you do? (Shakes her hand)

Agatha: How do you do? You must be Janet. Lady Bayfield was just telling me what a comfort you are to her.

Lady B: Not her, Thomas!

(Janet gives her an icy look. Greg and Sarah enter from left with Thomas)

Lady B: Ah, and now we're all here - the old faithfuls. They're all I've got, so they're especially important for an old lady on her last legs.

Ted: Oh come on, you've years in you yet.

Lady B: (To Agatha) This is my nephew, Greg Hodges, and his wife, Sarah. Greg is a writer of crime mysteries. You see, it runs in the family. Unpublished, so far, unfortunately. Publishers can be so myopic.

Agatha: It's very hard for new writers to break in.

Lady B: Now you're anticipating. Before you give the game away, I'll introduce our guest. She can't stay the whole weekend, so make the most of her. Her face might not be recognisable to people generally, but believe me, her name and work is a household word.

Agnes: Oh get on with it Thelma.

Ted: Now Agnes, don't spoil the surprise.

Lady B: Without further ado, let me introduce you to Agatha Christie.

(Stir amongst guests)

Agatha: Lady Bayfield has told me all about you, so I feel I know you already. I shall enjoy exchanging ideas with you on our common hobby.

Lady B: Now we've got a real expert here, we can find out the answers to some of the problems that have been worrying us.

Agatha: Now, now, I'm not a real expert. I'm a writer of fiction. That's very different. If you want expert advice, you should ask Mr. Buckley here.

Ted: You're too kind.

Lady B: All the same, I'll get the ball rolling. Which in more important, observation or motive in solving murders?

(Thomas begins pouring drinks at the sideboard)

Agatha: Perhaps you need both. What do you think, Mr. Buckley?

Ted: Oh I agree. But sometimes you can have a crime committed, just for the pure joy of bamboozling everyone.

Greg: In which case, that becomes the motive. For me, motive is everything. It's the psychology of murder that fascinates me. Human nature, jealousy, rage, all of those things.

Agatha: I agree with you entirely. But it's the clues that make the game interesting, don't you think?

Greg: Of course it is. And that's where observation comes into it. Now I've been noticing Thomas busy pouring drinks. Watch closely. I've a hunch that this is where our weekend starts.

Lady B: (Peeved) No risk with mine. It's only water. Could I have it, Thomas? (Thomas brings a glass of water over to her) Now Janet, I think it's time for my little tablet. The ticker has been having quite a workout.

(Janet takes a tablet out of a full bottle in her pocket and breaks it in two)

Janet: Here you are. Just half for now.

Thomas: (returning to sideboard) Lady Bayfield, I'm puzzling over something about those pills.

Lady B: (Taking the pill and drinking) Oh?

Thomas: Last night there was a bottle of your heart pills by your bedside, and I'm sure there were a few left. But when I was in there this afternoon, it wasn't there. And now Janet produces a full bottle. It bothered me because I was trying to find your bottle of pills.

Lady B: Oh rubbish. It was empty, so I threw it away and sent Janet up to the doctor's for a new prescription this morning. Didn't I?

Janet: Yes. So what?

Greg: (Going up to lady B) Ah, I sense a crime in the making here. But let's just shake things up a bit. Could the water be drugged? (He takes the class from Lady B and drinks)

Lady B.: I suppose you think you're clever.

Greg: (smugly) Now if you drop dead and I don't, that rules out the water. But let's be thorough. What about that suspicious pill bottle. Janet, let me have the other half.

Janet: Don't be a fool.

(Greg seizes her hand and opens it. He takes the half pill and puts it on his tongue. He takes another sip of water and makes a show of swallowing it.)

Lady B: It won't do your heart any good. It perks up a flagging heart. I don't know what it does to a healthy one. Really Greg, you're such a show off. We have Agatha Christie here as a guest, so you couldn't resist trying to impress her. You thought you could mess up the little mystery I've got planned. All you've done is make a complete fool of yourself. You're looking in quite the wrong direction. So there. Now Thomas, I'm really beginning to feel a little tired. It must be the drive to the station and back. A little siesta is what I need. It all makes me so weary. I'd like to lie down and go to sleep, and never wake up. It's the old ticker, you know - it makes life such a burden. (Pause) What do you think of voluntary euthanasia, Agatha?

Agatha: Well I don't know, but it would have to be voluntary.

Lady B: Of course it would have to be voluntary. As I always say, where there's a will there's a way. Now take me up to my room, Thomas. (She exits left with Thomas)

Greg: Where there's a will there's a way. I think I smell a rat. I'd lay odds on her being this weekend's murder. (Yawning) I'm a bit tired myself. I could use a siesta too, if you'll excuse me. (As he exits) Maybe there was something in that water after all. (Exits left)

Ted: I think he might be on to something. Mrs. Christie, this is usually when the game starts. One person drops dead. Someone else has been primed up and all that - and it's our job for the rest of the weekend to catch him out.

Janet: And hope he doesn't strike again.

Agatha: If a second person dies, it doesn't leave too many suspects.

Janet: Usually we have a bigger crowd. This time she's cut it right down to family and staff.

Agnes: All beneficiaries of a Will.

Agatha: Ah, I see. The plot thickens.

Agnes: No, I mean a real Will.

Sarah: If you'll excuse me, I'm really finding the atmosphere rather stifling. I think I'll take a walk before dinner. (Exits left)

Agatha: Another possible victim?

Janet: Unlikely. She keeps aloof from these games as much as she can.

Ted: Despite that, Lady Bayfield seems to have a lot of time for her. I'd like to know her secret.

Janet: Perhaps because she doesn't crawl to her.

Ted: If she appreciates bluntness, I don't know why she can't stand you.

Janet: Neither do I.

Ted: Perhaps she's a good judge of character.

Agatha: (Intervening) Well what happens now?

Agnes: (Going to sideboard for a drink) We wait for a murder. Greg, Thomas and Thelma are out of the room, so it's probably one of them. She likes to have the victim discovered.

Agatha: You seem to know the drill rather well.

Ted: Her plots have been getting a little tired recently. Greg was right, Lady Bayfield is the likely victim - she usually is. But I hope he's wrong - make it more interesting.

Agatha: And how do we know when it's happened?

Agnes: Well last time we were having pre-dinner drinks when Thomas entered in a state of distress and announced that he'd found the Mistress dead in her room.

Agatha: Not wanting to be macabre, but how do you know he's not telling the truth?

Janet: In real life, he never calls her the Mistress, and he shamelessly overacts. It's usually Thomas who discovers the body.

(Thomas bursts in left, shamelessly overacting)

Thomas: Oh my God, Oh my God, the Mistress, she's karked it. I'd just got her up to her room. I'd helped her onto bed. She asked me to get her a glass of water - her throat was parched she said. There was a glass of water at her bedside. I gave it to her. She took a sip, suddenly clutched her throat, and karked it in front of me. Oh, it's horrible, horrible, horrible.

(Ted, Agnes and Janet burst into applause)

Ted: Well done Thomas, you've excelled yourself.

Agnes: It's such a shock, it calls for a drink. (She goes to sideboard for a refill)

Ted: Well, this looks like an easy one. Rule out Sarah, then the only people out of the room when it happened were Thomas and Greg. It's got to be one of them.

Janet: Not so fast. The water on the bedside was already there. Any one of us could have done that.

Agatha: Except for me.

Ted: Well where does that leave us?

Agnes: Nowhere.

Ted: Well hang on, let's bring in some of the old detective skills.

Agnes: Murder wasn't your line. Forgery....

Ted: (Interrupting) Let's be systematic. What's the first thing we look for?

Agnes: Clues.

Ted: (Glares at Agnes) Motive. Let's look at motive.

Janet: There's the new will.

Ted: (Suddenly alert) Is this real, or part of the game?

Janet: (Casually) What difference does it make? You know how she mixes the two.

Ted: (More urgently) But has she really made a new Will?

Janet: Yes.

Ted: And?

Janet: And what?

Ted: Well what does it say?

Janet: You'll find out soon enough.

Ted: You know?

Janet: Yes I know, but it's confidential.

Ted: There's no harm in telling me.

Janet: No reason to either.

Ted: There's more than one way to find out.

Agnes: What's that? You shouldn't be asking about it. It isn't decent.

Ted: You're a fine one to talk about decency.

Agnes: What's that supposed to mean?

Ted: (Going to her) I think you've had too much of that.

Agnes: On the contrary. Listening to you, I don't think I've had enough. (She takes another sip from her glass)

Ted: I said, too much. (Clumsily taking it away from her and spilling it on himself) Damn, look what you've done. Now I'll have to change. (To the others) Excuse me. (Exits left, hurriedly)

Agnes: (Upset) I'm sorry. (Rushes out, left)

Thomas: (To Agatha) You'll have to excuse them, Madam.

Janet: You never know on these weekends whether little tantrums are real or staged.

Thomas: That was real. At least on her part I think it was. It's quite distressing.

Agatha: What do you mean?

Thomas: These weekends. It's all gone on too long. The same people. The same plots. We're getting bored, waiting for something, no longer surprised by anything.

Agatha: This In her last, she said.

Thomas: She's always saying that.

Agatha: Maybe you all need to give it a break for a while.

Thomas: It's more than that. Her guests come along, they flatter her, butter her up, then behind her back they're cynical and rude. But now the boredom sets in. We've nothing left but our real feelings, and these are starting to come out all the time. Then there's this Will, making it all much worse. She should keep it to herself, instead of all these public changes.

Agatha: Well why is she doing it?

Thomas: It's part of her game. It creeps into all her plots. It's like she's constantly asking, who loves me the most?

Agatha: She's a sick old lady.

Thomas: Which really sharpens the edge. She won't live long. Her doctor told her that, and she's made sure we all know. She's testing us, probing, pushing, looking for our breaking paint. Well it's there. Everyone has a breaking point. Nerves are raw. I have a feeling something is about to happen.

Agatha: (To Janet) Do you know what he means?

Janet: Not really. I think everyone's just a bit impatient for her to die, that's all.

Agatha: That's all! Perhaps I've written too many mysteries - I'm too attuned to atmosphere. I was invited here not knowing any of you, and it all seemed a nice bit of fun. An innocent game of murder, I thought. But all this playing with people's feelings and greed, I don't like it.

Thomas: I'm very sorry, Madam.

Agatha: However, I can only make the best of it. Lady Bayfield promised to show me her rather splendid house, and I was particularly interested to see her library.

Thomas: A superb crime collection, fact and fiction.

Agatha: However, as she now appears to be... indisposed...

Thomas: That's all right, Mrs. Christie. Lady Bayfield expressly advised me that - er - if anything should happen to her, I was to conduct you on a grand tour. I would be pleased to show you now.

Agatha: Would there be any objection to me poking around on my own? I love to explore old places like this. Then an opportunity to spend some time on my own with famous crime writers in her library - that's my idea of a good time.

Thomas: Certainly Madam. If you head up that corridor (pointing to exit left) you pass a kitchen entrance on the left opposite the stairs. After that is the door to the library on the right.

Agatha: Yes, yes, I'll find my way. (goes over to exit left, then stops) How was lady Bayfield when you left her? I mean, with her heart.

Janet: You mean apart from being dead?

Thomas: Fine, but rather tired.

Agatha: Hmm. Perhaps I'll drop in on her. Well, if you'll excuse me. (Exits left)

Thomas: What do you suppose she was getting at?

Janet: Like she said, she's written too many murder stories. She wants to check that the old lady isn't really dead.

Thomas: Wash your mouth out. People have been getting too fond of that kind of joke lately.

Janet: You're both too jumpy.

Thomas: (Pause) What was the letter Lady Bayfield gave you yesterday?

Janet: (Startled) What?

Thomas: The letter.

Janet. What do you mean?

Thomas: You were in the hallway outside Madam's room. I happened to be in the next bedroom, arranging it for the Hodges.

Janet: (Turning away) It was nothing.

Thomas: How do you know? She said not to open it until Sunday evening.

Janet: You have good ears for an old man. Well I opened it.

Thomas: But that was against her direct orders.

Janet: So? I gave up listening to her months ago.

Thomas: Well what did it say?

Janet: What's it to you?

Thomas: I went to understand her state of mind.

Janet: I never felt there was much to understand.

Thomas: That's where you're wrong. What was in the letter?

Janet: It's none of your business.

Thomas: Are you sure? Are you hiding something?

Janet: All right. It was a letter of dismissal. I've been sacked.

Thomas: Sacked! What reason did she give?

Janet: She said we were incompatible. I'm inclined to agree with her.

Thomas: You're not upset then?

Janet: Quite the opposite. I've been contemplating resigning for some time now. (After thought) There was fifty pounds severance. If I'd resigned, there wouldn't be a penny, and I'd have no hope of a reference. Actually, I thought it was quite sporting of her after all our arguments.

Thomas: I'm glad to see you take it that way. But why did she tell you not to open it until Sunday?

Janet: (Pausing to think) She thought it might spoil the weekend. You know, if I was disgruntled.

Thomas: I couldn't hear much that she was saying, but I distinctly caught the words, 'Trip to Paris'. Was she talking about herself or you?

Janet: (over hastily) Oh that. She was talking about herself and her health. She thought a trip to Paris might brighten her up.

Thomas: Funny she didn't say anything to me. But this sacking business. How does it all leave you with your boyfriend?

Janet: (Startled) What?

Thomas: Come on. I know I'm old, but do you think I'm blind?

Janet: What's he got to do with it?

Thomas: You said you'd thought of resigning. Why didn't you before?

Janet: You seem to know all the answers. You tell me.

Thomas: No more of these weekends. Mrs. Hodges doesn't always accompany her husband.

Janet: I think you're too clever by half. You want to be careful.

Thomas: Is that some kind of threat?

Janet: It's whatever you want it to be.

(Ted enters quickly from left)

Ted: Oh pardon me. I wasn't expecting you.

Janet: Oh?

Thomas: I think we have some work to do, setting up for dinner.

Janet: I'm not the maid.

Thomas: Two days: Just bend a little.

(Thomas goes out to kitchen, right. Janet shrugs and follows.Ted takes Will out of his jacket and sits on settee. He reads Will somewhat frantically, then takes it to the bookcase, and puts it in a large book. He looks at the book title)

Ted: The Fatal Alibi. Most appropriate.

(He puts the book back in the bookcase. Agnes enters from left in a frantic state.)

Agnes: What have you done with it?

Ted: With what?

(She looks at him, goes to sideboard and pours a drink which she downs in one to steady herself.)

Agnes: The Will, Ted. I know.

Ted: What Will? What do you know?

Agnes: Everything. For Godsake, you've got to put it back.

Ted: Calm yourself. Just keep calm.

Agnes: I've seen it.

Ted: What?

Agnes: The Will - the forgery you left on her desk.

Ted: You fool. You'll spoil everything.

Agnes: I don't care. I've got to call a halt to it. (Agnes pours herself another drink)

Ted: Steady on. You've drunk too much.

Agnes: I could drink a whole bottle and be steady as a rock, the way I feel now. My blood's running cold.

(Bell call rings)

Agnes: My God, what was that?

Ted: It's the bell call for Thomas, that's all.

Agnes. Where from?

Ted: Lady Bayfield's room of course. Where else?

Agnes: How can you be so calm?

Ted: It's never taken you like this before.

Agnes: I know everything, Ted, God knows, I wish I didn't. I know everything.

(She goes to sideboard to pour another glass. Ted intercepts her. They wrestle over the bottle. Ted strikes her across the face. She goes to an armchair and collapses. He stands and watches in bewilderment. Then he turns and pours himself a drink which he downs in one. Agatha enters from left.)

Ted: Pull yourself together woman.

(Agnes recovers herself with an effort. As Agatha enters, Agatha is much more intense than before.)

Agatha: Where is everybody?

Ted: I don't know.

Agatha: Where have you two been?

Agnes: Nowhere. We've been together.

(Ted stares at Agnes)

Agatha: Here?

Agnes: Yes, then we were in our room together. We came down here for some company.

(Ted shrugs, then goes and gets another drink)

Ted: A drink Mrs. Christie?

Agatha: No thank you.

(Sarah enters from left)

Sarah: It's like a ghost house at the moment. Where is everybody? Do you know when dinner is?

Ted: No idea. Not the usual organisation about the place.

Agatha: Where's your husband?

Sarah: Still sleeping - ever so soundly... like a baby, blanket pulled up to his chin, so peaceful.

Agatha: Your door was shut when I passed. So you were with him?

Sarah: Of course. Have you seen Thomas?

Agatha: Just a moment ago. He'll be here presently. Sarah, will you do me a favour? Could you ask Janet to come here - I think she's in the kitchen - and then return with her. I have something important to tell everyone.

Sarah: Certainly. (Exits right)

Ted: Well, this is intriguing. Have you solved the murder already?

Agatha: I'm afraid it's no longer as simple as that.

Agnes: Oh my God.

Ted: But what about Greg? Hadn't he better be called?

Agatha: Let him sleep a little longer.

Ted: Very well.

Agatha: I went up to see Lady Bayfield a short while ago.

Ted: Oh yes?

Agatha: (To Agnes) You'd - just been in to see her, hadn't you?

Agnes: I was only in there a moment.

Agatha: Yes, I saw you leaving. Perhaps you heard me coming. I was wondering why you went to see her.

Agnes: I... I was checking for clues.

Agatha: Oh, and how was the old lady?

Agnes: I didn't check. She was asleep. I didn't want to disturb her.

Agatha: Did you notice something burning in the fireplace?

Agnes: (Faltering) In the fireplace...

Ted: What?

Agatha: I'm surprised you didn't. It was a document. I just managed to save enough to identify what it was.

Ted: (To Agnes) You damn fool.

(Enter Janet and Sarah from kitchen, right)

Agatha: Ah, perhaps you'd all better sit down and make yourselves comfortable. I have something to tell you. You know, this preoccupation I have with imaginary mystery stories - of course I share it with lady Bayfield and those of you who like to play her game - this preoccupation is a strange thing. Sometimes it becomes hard to separate the imaginary from the real. Sometimes I get hunches - intuition you might call it - an overdeveloped imagination perhaps. But I checked out a hunch, and I've already started on the trail of trying to separate fact from fantasy. I went to Lady Bayfield's room. And I believe that corridor has been a busy thoroughfare this afternoon. I made a discovery.

(Knock at the door. Janet exits left to answer front door)

Agatha: Ah, I was expecting that. For some of you, another blending of fact and fantasy.

(Janet and Inspector Rayner enter, left)

Agatha: Allow me to introduce you to Inspector Rayner of the Oxford C.I.D.

Rayner: Ah, Mrs. Christie. I came as quickly as I could after I got your call.

Agatha: Yes, I phoned from the extension in Lady Bayfield's room. There should also be a doctor on the way, although I think the situation is now beyond any doctor. Inspector Rayner happens to be a personal friend of mine, as well as a highly respected detective, specializing in cases of violent death. (Agnes reacts)

Rayner: I'm also known by another of your number. Ted, how are you.

Ted. Oh God.

Rayner: Now, where's the body?

Agatha: Please, inspector, a little more tactful. This fact is not yet known to everyone here.

Ted: What the Hell's going on?

Sarah: My God, where's Greg?

Agatha: I am sorry to tell you that Lady Bayfield is dead in her room, and at least one person in this house is guilty of foul play.

(Greg bursts in from left, dishevelled, horror on his face.)

Greg: She's dead, I've seen her. She's really dead.

CURTAIN

ACT II

(The next morning. Settee has been moved closer to right side of stage. Table and chairs have been moved more centrally. Small coffee table is now upstage of fireplace, left, and there is a pillow on it. As curtain opens, Janet is setting up the table with water jug and glasses. Greg enters from left, goes to Janet and kisses her. She does not respond.)

Janet: Did you sleep peacefully?

Greg: No, as a matter of fact. It doesn't help when every object in your room is labelled and numbered as an exhibit, and with police in the corridor all night.

Janet: A thorough search?

Greg: Wasn't yours?

Janet: They turned my room upside down. Went through all my personal things.

Greg: What were they looking for?

Janet: God knows. Did they find anything in your room?

Greg: No.

Janet: Are you sure?

Greg: No, I'm not sure. But I had nothing to hide, if that's what you're implying.

Janet: Why did you put on that performance, drinking lady Bayfield's water, and then grabbing the tablet off me?

Greg: I've had enough of her stupid plots. I wanted to stir things up. Throw a spanner in the works.

Janet: Well you've certainly succeeded there. You know you're number one suspect now?

Greg: What?

Janet: Sometimes I doubt your intelligence. All that time upstairs on your own, pretending to be asleep.

Greg: Is that what they're saying?

Janet: Well weren't you?

Greg: Yes I was pretending to be asleep. I was looking for clues.

Janet: (Incredulous) Clues?

Greg: I wanted to be the one to solve the mystery.

Janet: Beat the great Agatha Christie to the solution - big note yourself, is that it? Instead, you've blundered yourself into the middle of a real murder. And then there was your melodramatic entrance with tidings of her death.

Greg: I'd discovered a dead body - how do you expect me to react?

Janet: You write about them all the time.

Greg: It's the first time I've seen one. I thought she was asleep at first. Then I saw her eyes were open. Oh my God!

Janet: Pull yourself together. You're going to need all your presence of mind.

Greg: You don't think I murdered her do you?

Janet: Well did you?

Greg: Of course I didn't.

Janet: Then keep calm and tell the truth. It's your best chance.

Greg: You don't think it's that bad? Why should I murder her?

Janet: Impatient for her money perhaps?

Greg: But I have to share it with Sarah. Where's the motive in that?

Janet: For all I knew, maybe it suits you.

Greg: What? You know I want a divorce. I want you. You have to believe me. You do, don't you?

Janet: Even if I do, I'm not your judge and jury.

Greg: You don't think it's going to come to that?

Janet: It's murder, Greg. Someone's going to take the blame.

Greg: Oh no!

Janet: what?

Greg: It's just occurred to me. What if they find out about us?

Janet: How does that affect anything?

Greg: It's going to look bad if they know I'm having an affair with Lady Bayfield's secretary.

Janet: It's hardly a reason for killing her, though.

Greg: (Coming to himself) I suppose not. But hadn't we better keep it secret, I mean when the questioning starts?

Janet: You'll land yourself deeper in it. If they catch, you lying, it makes it all worse. If you've done nothing wrong, your best hope is to be completely straight with them. It'll come out anyway.

Greg: What's Sarah going to say?

Janet: Do you think she hasn't guessed?

Greg: Do you mean...

(Sarah enters, left. Glares at Janet)

Sarah: (To Greg) You were in a hurry to get down here.

Greg: It's all a strain on the nerves.

Sarah: (to Janet) And who are you staring at? Haven't you got work to do?

Janet: I've already done my work.

Sarah: And don't think I'm blind.

Greg: What?

Sarah: I've had it in the back of my mind for some time now.

Greg: What are you suggesting?

Sarah: There's nothing concrete - nothing I can prove - it's more in feelings, and in gestures I've observed. A certain look in the eye.

Janet: If you're thinking something, why don't you come right out and say it?

Sarah: In time. I just wanted you to know that I'm not a fool. And when it comes to holding on to what's mine, I won't lie down.

Janet: I've no idea what you're talking about.

Sarah: I'm talking about nine years of my life. The man I married. My husband. I won't give him up.

Janet: Anyone would think he's your slave, to hear you talk. There are times to face facts.

Sarah: Do you think I'd take advice from a hard faced little vixen like...

Greg: Sarah!

Sarah: If you were any sort of man...

Janet: He'd ditch you in a flash.

Sarah: You...

(Enter Ted and Agnes from left)

Ted: We'll sit over here. Box seat.

Agnes: How can you he so flippant?

(They sit on settee. Rayner, Agatha and Thomas enter from left. Constable Whittaker follows and stands by door)

Rayner: (To Agatha) Perhaps you could sit with the Buckleys. Mr. Thomas...

Thomas: I'm quite content to stand.

Rayner: (Indicating chairs at the table) Mr. and Mrs. Hodges. Miss Drewer...

Janet: I'll stand too. I'm only an employee.

Rayner: Murder has no regard for class.

Janet: All the same, I'll stand.

Rayner: (Thomas and Janet standing, and the others seated as directed) Good, now we're ready. We've been fortunate that Mrs. Christie acted so quickly yesterday, first on suspecting that something was amiss, then her presence of mind when she discovered the body. Perhaps, Mrs. Christie, we'll ask you what you did when you went into Lady Bayfield's room.

Agatha: I checked Lady Bayfield's breathing and pulse, but it was obvious there were no signs of life. Then I rang for Thomas. I phoned for a doctor, and of course, yourself, Inspector Rayner. Since Lady Bayfield was past help, we searched her room for the obvious, carefully avoiding touching or moving anything. I then left Thomas there to wait for the doctor.

Rayner: Since then, I've organised a thorough search of the house and grounds, and we've already had some preliminary results of tests we've had done. It all seems to confirm Mrs. Christie's original reconstruction of events.

Agatha: At around three forty-five, Thomas handed Lady Bayfield the glass of water that was already at her bedside. She drank a little, than sent Thomas down here to announce her death. Other evidence led me to suspect that her water was drugged.

Rayner: our tests have confirmed a soluble sleeping powder, available without prescription.

Agatha: The evidence suggests that whoever drugged the water later entered her room carrying a pillow. Finding Lady Bayfield fast asleep...

Rayner: (Rayner picks up the pillow to demonstrate) They held the pillow with all their strength over her face. On the amount of sleeping powder she'd taken, she must have awakened, and struggled - with all the strength of a dying woman. Imagine her horror in this moment of realisation. The doctor gives heart attack as the cause of death, so mercifully her week heart cut short her sufferings. Ladies and gentlemen, we are dealing here with a horrible death, and a cold and brutal murderer.

Agatha: Suddenly they hear a noise - footsteps on the stairs. Not wanting to be caught with it, they throw the pillow under the bed and leave the room. They have no opportunity - or daren't risk returning to retrieve the pillow, and so it stays there.

Rayner: On our reconstruction of your movements yesterday, anyone of you would have had the opportunity of drugging her water, or returning later with the pillow.

Ted: So what's all this leading to?

Rayner: So that you know why it is necessary to take everyone's fingerprints.

Greg: Is that necessary? I resent being regarded as a suspect. Just because you happened to be alone at a certain time, it doesn't make you a murderer. I, for one, had absolutely no reason for wanting her dead.

Rayner: Really? I understood you were a main beneficiary of her Will.

Greg: But I ... I mean all our fingerprints are going to be everywhere. What does it prove?

Rayner: You can leave that for me to decide.

Greg: But look here, we have rights. You can't compel us to be fingerprinted.

Rayner: It would look very odd if you were the only one to refuse. Of course, if you want to force the issue, I can get an order from a Magistrate... All right then. Only one further question. I understand that it's normal for someone else to be in the know in these murder plots. Lady Bayfield must have primed one of you as her murderer. Who was it?

(Pregnant pause. Agnes looks at Ted, then stands up.)

Ted: (In a whisper) Sit down, don't be stupid.

Rayner: Mrs. Buckley.

Agnes: (Standing) It was I. She phoned me... earlier in the week.

Rayner: Cause of death?

Agnes: Poison - in her water. In the game I mean.

Rayner: Motive? For the game of course...

Agnes: (Pause) The Will. I had to burn it. Then the old one comes into force. The new Will cut me out. She told me to burn it - in her fireplace.

Rayner: But she was already dead when you made your little fire. So it wasn't just a game after all.

Agnes: (Disturbed) I know. I meant I know now, but I didn't check. I thought she was just asleep.

Rayner: So you went into her room according to prior instructions and removed her Will from her desk and set fire to it, and throughout this little performance, you didn't happen to notice that Lady Bayfield was dead?

Agnes: No... I...

Rayner: (To Ted) Do you know anything about this?

Ted: I think we're all going mad.

Rayner: Mr. Buckley!

Ted: I have nothing to say.

Rayner: It might save us a lot of time later.

Ted: Nothing, Inspector. Nothing until I can consult a lawyer.

Rayner: Well that's your right, but if you've nothing to hide, there's no risk in telling the truth. You can ponder that in the dining room with everyone else. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be an officer there to take your fingerprints. I'll ask you to be patient, and not leave the room without an officer attending you.

(With general murmuring, all but Rayner, Agatha and Constable Whittaker exit right. Constable takes a position at the back of the stage. Agatha stands.)

Rayner: Two heads are better than one, Mrs. Christie, and it may be of interest to you to take part in this investigation.

Agatha: What do you make of it all?

Rayner: A rather simple murder case, unfortunately made confusing by the damned murder game.

Agatha: False clues laid by Lady Bayfield.

Rayner: Exactly. And she isn't with us now to say which are false trails, and which are real.

Agatha: The fake murderer should be able to tell us that - Mrs. Buckley.

Rayner: If she really is the fake murderer.

Agatha: You don't think she is?

Rayner: No I don't. Her story was too ridiculous for words.

Agatha: Then why did she claim she was?

Rayner: I have my ideas on that, and we'll check them out. It's my hunch that whoever was primed by Lady Bayfield as the fake murderer, is also the real murderer. Now that Lady Bayfield is dead, they are the only person who knows the clues that Lady Bayfield set. My guess is they've tampered with those clues, concealed and changed them.

Agatha: So where do we go from here?

Rayner: We have here a very cruel and calculating murderer - someone who has planned well in advance, and put that plan into action with nerves of steel. I propose to apply some heat. Everyone has their achilles heel. I have to find theirs and exploit it until they crack. Constable, could you ask Mr. Thomas and Miss Drewer to come in now?

(Constable exits right)

Agatha: The two of them together?

Rayner: Divide and rule. Set the one against the other. It worked for the British Empire for centuries.

(Enter Constable with Thomas and Janet from right. Agatha sits on settee)

Rayner: Mr. Thomas, Miss Drewer, please sit down. (He indicates the seats at the table and they sit, Janet at left) We already have a fairly good picture of people's movements yesterday. I thought we might go back before yesterday. (He gets pillow from coffee table) May well be labelled exhibit number one in court. (Inspecting pillow and case) Unusual sort of murder weapon when you think about it. Drugging the victim first to prevent noise or struggle. Almost a feminine touch, don't you think, Miss Drewer?

Janet: If you can say there's anything feminine about murder.

Rayner: (Inspecting pillow) Well said. Odd thing. At first sight, all the pillows used upstairs, and the pillow slips too - identical. Presumably that's how they looked to all the guests. But I notice there are initials sewn into the pillow, and on the inside of the case. Do they have a meaning, Miss Drewer?

Janet: Lady Bayfield was very particular about sheets and pillows. She insists that the same sets be always used in the same bedroom. So she has a code sewn into each. Hygiene she says. Frankly, I wouldn't be bothered with the performance of matching them all.

Rayner: (Disappointed) So there's no way of identifying where a particular pillow came from?
Janet: I'm Lady Bayfield's secretary. I don't make the beds.

Thomas: Janet is always careful to make sure she doesn't do anything that's not one of her formal duties. I made the beds.

Rayner: And?

Thomas: I made up the beds an Friday. I make sure I follow the coding system. It's what she wants.

Rayner: I see. Now on this particular pillow and pillow case, we have the code G one. What does it mean?

Thomas: M stands for the master bedroom - Lady Bayfield's. G stands for guest room. G one is guest room one Where the Hodges sleep.

Rayner: And this code you use - are you sure, I mean absolutely sure, you followed it exactly on Friday? Take your time Mr. Thomas.

Thomas: I distinctly remember checking. There's no mistake.

Rayner: (Pleased) So this one must have come from the Hodges' room.

Thomas: It could have, but more likely it came from the linen closet in the bedroom corridor. We have spares for all the bedrooms. Some people like two pillows on their bed.

Rayner: And the Hodges?

Thomas: They sleep with one pillow each, so there are two spares in the corridor closet.

Rayner: Then this pillow marked G one was taken either from the Hodges' bed, or from the hallway cupboard?

Thomas: That's right, sir.

Rayner: Very good. You've been most helpful. From the sounds of it, Mr. Thomas, you do more than a butler's job here.

Thomas: (with pride) That's right, sir. I make - I beg your pardon - I made it my task to satisfy Lady Bayfield in every way I could.

Janet: (Laughing) You old rogue - I always knew you two were up to something...

Thomas: (Interrupting) I beg your pardon, Inspector. Miss Drewer has chosen to misinterpret me. I've worked here for thirty years, and there's been nothing of that sort. But I've always been more than a butler here - chauffeur, handyman, housemaid and cook on their days off. I have no liking for firearms, sir, but Lady Bayfield has even had me learn to use a pistol.

Rayner: A pistol - whatever for?

Thomas: She's afraid of break-ins. The way things are in society today, I don't blame her. But I've never had to use it. To tell the truth, faced with the situation, I don't think I could bring myself to pull the trigger.

Rayner: A Jack of all trades, then.

Themes: That's right. And I believe Lady Bayfield fully appreciated my work.

Rayner: It appears she showed her appreciation in a rather generous way.

Thomas: I beg your pardon, Sir?

Rayner: The Will. You get a very generous mention.

Thomas: I'm very grateful for that.

Rayner: Any plans of what to do with it?

Thomas: I really haven't had time to think about it.

Rayner: But surely you must have made some retirement plans.

Thomas: I've lived here so long, I suppose I imagined dying here.

Rayner: You must have considered the possibility of Lady Bayfield dying.

Thomas: She always seemed... indestructible.

Rayner: Come on man, you have a life of your own.

Thomas: This has been my life - serving Lady Bayfield. I've no family of my own to speak of. After thirty years, you get to know someone very well - all their little ways. It comes to be like a habit in the end - a part of your life. I suppose it really was a bit like being married - although I can't really say, since I've never been married.

Rayner: Obeying her every order, pandering to her every whim - not much like marriage in my book.

Thomas: I've heard some would disagree with you there.

Rayner: Hmmm. But what about your spare time? Hobbies, vices?

Thomas: I've no hobbies. This is my life twenty four hours a day.

Janet: (Cheerfully) Hang on, Thomas, you do have one little vice.

Thomas: Nothing that need concern Inspector Rayner.

Janet: He has a fetish for slow horses. He likes to put money on them.

Rayner: Oh?

Janet: Caused a disagreement with the mistress recently, didn't it Thomas?

Thomas: (uncomfortably) I don't think this is anyone's business.

Janet: Inspector Rayner might think it is. (To Rayner) It's the reason he was cut from her last Will. He came to her for a little loan.

Thomas: That was all sorted out.

Rayner: How much was it?

Thomas: I'd had a run of bad luck. I was just temporarily embarrassed.

Rayner: How much?

Thomas: A hundred pounds. But she came through with the money.

Janet: Then cut you out of her Will as punishment.

Thomas: It was no less then I deserved. But she graciously forgave me.

Rayner: But you must have felt aggrieved to say the least.

Thomas: Not at all.

Rayner: What if she'd died when the old Will was still in force?

Thomas: Then it would've been my own fault.

Rayner: Any new gambling debts?

Thomas: None at present.

Rayner: We can check the local bookies.

Thomas: None at present. And if I may say so, sir (glancing to Janet) it seems to me some people are too fond of blabbing other people's secrets. Particularly people with something to hide themselves. (To Janet) I can't say you were ever very fond of Lady Bayfield.

(Rayner looks at Janet)

Janet: (As if answering Rayner) That's putting it mildly.

Rayner: How long have you been working here?

Janet: Seven years.

Rayner: No mention in her Will. It leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

Janet: Does it? Hardly enough reason to bump off the old dear.

Rayner: Pique can be very powerful.

Thomas: Hadn't you better tell the rest of the story?

Janet: What are you talking about?

Thomas: (To Rayner) She was given a letter of notice on Friday. Lady Bayfield specifically instructed her not to open it until Sunday. She didn't want Janet spoiling the weekend. I happened to overhear from the bedroom when they were in the corridor.

Rayner: She gave you a letter, instructing you not to open it until Sunday. But you opened it. Why?

Janet: I wanted to know what was in it.

Agatha: And what did Lady Baylield say when you opened it?

Janet: Nothing. She goes to her grave in ignorance.

Rayner: Do you still have the letter?

Janet: (Looking at Thomas) Yes. I thought this might he raised. (Takes a letter from her pocket and hands it to Rayner)

Rayner: (Looking at letter) She was afraid of you spoiling the weekend if you knew you were sacked. I suppose killing her would be a good way of spoiling the weekend.

Janet: (Cheerfully) I suppose it would.

Rayner: She mentions fifty pounds severance. Do you have the money with you?

Janet: (Producing it, then returning it to her pocket) Quite sporting of her, I thought, after all our differences.

Rayner: (Handing letter to Agatha) I notice the letter's typed, and unsigned. Can you explain that?

Janet: I suppose she must have forgotten to sign it.

Rayner: Forgery not your long suit?

Janet: I couldn't say. I've never tried it.

Thomas: There was something else I overheard, that still puzzles me. I couldn't hear the rest, but I distinctly heard the words, 'trip to Paris'. Janet told me Lady Bayfield was thinking of a trip to Paris.

Janet: It was just a passing remark - she thought it might brighten her up.

Thomas: Well I don't know. It really sounded emphatic to me.

Janet: Maybe you ought to have your ears cleaned out.

Thomas: (To Rayner, pointedly ignoring her remark) There was something else I wanted to mention, Inspector. But I'd be happier if I could tell you in confidence. (Glances to Janet)

Rayner: If you don't mind, Miss Drewer.

Janet: (Getting up and heading to exit right) I don't mind. I've nothing to hide. (Gesture of cleaning out her ears as she looks at Thomas just before she exits)

(Rayner sits in the chair left that Janet has vacated.)

Thomas: (Making sure Janet is out of the room) Inspector, I don't like spreading gossip in normal circumstances, but since this is a police investigation, I think there's something you should know about Janet. She and Mr. Hodges have been carrying on together.

Rayner: ReaIly?

Thomas: Disgusting it was - in this very house - right under the noses of Lady Bayfield and poor Mrs. Hodges. I felt really sorry for his wife. Such a nice lady she is. You have to be careful where you go in this house so you don't find them crawling over each other.

Agatha: Did Lady Bayfield know about it?

Thomas: Yes. She had to be told. I didn't like doing it. And that's why she rewrote her Will this time. Lady Bayfield had quite a soft spot for Mrs. Hodges - with good reason. She thought it might make the young fellow think twice about leaving her if he knew the money was in their joint names.

Rayner: I think I get the picture.

Thomas: If you're looking for someone with a grudge against Lady Bayfield, you don't have to look any further than Janet. The idea that I had grudge because of a little gambling debt - she was always good to me, very good. (Breaks down a little)

Rayner: Take your time, Mr. Thomas.

Thomas: (After a pause) It's still puzzling me about the bottle of heart pills I saw on Friday night. I'm sure there were a few left.

Agatha: (To Rayner) I was telling you about that before.

Thomas: If you ask me, it wasn't a pillow that did it at all. It was an overdose of her heart pills. And I could make a fair guess on who might have slipped them to her.

Rayner: (Standing) I see. All right, Mr. Thomas, you've been most helpful. That will be all for the time being.

Thomas: (On his way to exit, right) I was thinking, Inspector, the way society is these days. They don't hang women for murder anymore?

Rayner: It's very rare.

Thomas: It's a pity.

(Exits right. Constable Whittaker goes to the doorway with him. Someone hands the Constable some papers and a small bottle in a plastic bag. Whittaker looks at them briefly, then hands them to Rayner.)

Rayner: Thank you. Ah, Mrs. Christie, the report on the fingerprints. (Thumbing down the report) Well, a couple of surprises here. That shakes things up a little. (Hands the report to Agatha) I think he's got some explaining to do. Constable, could you ask.... (Front door bell rings) Ah, this should be the Doctor. Could you answer that, Constable? (Constable goes out left exit and returns with Doctor Simpson)

Agatha: I had some questions of my own.

Rayner: Feel free. But if you're thinking of the heart pills - dead end I fear. (Shaking hands with Doctor) Thank you for coming back, Doctor

Simpson: That's all right, Inspector. (Sits at the table)

Rayner: (somewhat aggressively) Well, cause of death, then, still unchanged?

Simpson: Myocardial infarction...

Rayner: Heart attack, heart attack.

Simpson: Popularly known as heart attack, but that can refer to a variety...

Rayner: Quite, quite, but still consistent with the trauma of having a pillow clamped on the face of the victim.

Simpson: Possibly, but consistent with other causes, too including natural causes.

Rayner: No doubt, but we can rule that out. But let's get this clear. It's possible that the act of being smothered could have triggered a fatal heart attack?

Simpson: Given her weak heart, and the trauma, unable to get her breath, it's more than likely to have triggered a heart attack.

Rayner: Now we're getting somewhere. Could you find any other evidence of suffocation - consistent with the pillow as the murder weapon?

Simpson: There were no marks of violence.

Rayner: There were hardly likely to be. I mean evidence of restricted oxygen to the lungs - or something of the sort.

Simpson: I'm afraid it's not that simple. If she'd drowned, it'd be different. There'd be water in the lungs.

Rayner: Unfortunately, the murderer didn't oblige us by holding her head in the bath. Time of death?

Simpson: I would say thirty minutes before I arrived, plus or minus fifteen minutes.

Rayner: That's what you said before. I was hoping you could narrow it down. That doesn't help at all.

Simpson: Time of death comes down to the physician's personal judgment - warmth of body, nervous activity, that sort of thing. It's bound to be imprecise.

Rayner: Perhaps a more experienced doctor...

Simpson: It still comes down to judgment.

Rayner: A more experienced judgment, perhaps.

Simpson: (Starting to rise) Well If that's all, I'll...

Agatha: Doctor Simpson, could you tell us about Lady Bayfield's condition. What were the pills she was taking?

(The Doctor resumes her seat. Rayner pointedly turns his back and goes to Constable and begins consulting his notes.)

Simpson: Digitalis, prepared from the purple foxglove. A stimulant for a tired irregular heart beat. It was known by the ancients - a case of modern medicine learning from tradition.

Agatha: What would be the results of an overdose?

Simpson: In all likelihood, depending on the dose, a heart attack.

Agatha: Such as Lady Bayfield suffered?

(Rayner turns towards the Doctor, interest aroused)

Simpson: It's possible.

Rayner: But you could detect the digitalis in her blood.

Simpson: It's there anyway. She took the drug regularly.

Rayner: But an overdose, surely...

Simpson: It's really very difficult to be sure....

Rayner: In the, stomach, then, the remains of the tablets.

Simpson: If the stomach was pumped within minutes. But any longer and they'd be consumed by the stomach enzymes.

Rayner: Even after death?

Simpson: The stomach enzymes could continue active...

Rayner: Then you should have acted more promptly.

Simpson: It would have been too late by the time I got there.

Rayner: But you didn't know that when you arrived here yesterday.

Simpson: I could tell at once that she'd been dead for a while. I had no reason to assume an overdose...

Rayner: She was dead wasn't she? (Turns his back on Simpson)

Simpson: (Rising) I was able to establish that much, Inspector. I think I've told you all I'm able to. It's quite clear you have your own ideas anyway. If you'll excuse me now, I have other work to do.

Agatha: Thank you Doctor.

(Simpson exits left)

Rayner: Damn - if only a more experienced doctor had been available. A young woman like her - more suited to nursing I would say.

Agatha: She seemed efficient to me. But I see you don't put much credence on Thomas's theory.

Rayner: I've checked the tablets - they don't dissolve in water. It would be impossible for her to take an overdose without knowing.

Agatha: If she was forced to take them...

Rayner: Possible, but very risky - making sure she didn't give the alarm. I think we're on one of those false trails at the moment. However, I'll keep an open mind. Constable, could you ask Mrs. Buckley to come in now. (Constable exits right) Time to apply some heat. Best way to get at the truth, I always find.

(Enter Constable and Agnes, right. Rayner has his back to them.)

Agatha: Sit down please, Mrs. Buckley. (She sits at the table)

Rayner: (Suddenly turning, and aggressively) Mrs. Buckley, I don't think you've been completely straight with me. When did lady Bayfield ask you to take the role of murderer?

Agnes: During the week... last Wednesday... She phoned me.

Rayner: I suppose Mr. Buckley wasn't home when you took the call?

Agnes: I can't remember... No, I don't think so.

Rayner: What did she say? Exactly.

Agnes: As near as I can remember...

Rayner: Exactly. The precise words.

Agnes: I don't think I can remember the precise words.

Rayner: Oh come now, it was only four days ago. What did she say?

Agnes: Er... she said... Agnes, I want you to be the murderer this weekend. Will you do it? I said, All right. (Pause)

Rayner: And?

Agnes: (Pause) She said it was to be poison.

Rayner: What were her exact words?

Agnes: There will be poison in my glass. (Pause)

Rayner: And? Surely she said more.

Agnes: I... I can't remember.

Rayner: Something about motive, perhaps?

Agnes: Oh yes, the Will, she said, the Will.

Rayner: Exactly what did she say?

Agnes: She said, I've made out a new Will. I want you to burn it in the fireplace in my bedroom.

Rayner: What did she say about the contents of the Will?

Agnes: Nothing. Just that it was against us.

Rayner: You know that we've spoken to her solicitor. The original of the new Will is in their hands. There's no change at all in the way that it treats you.

Agnes: Oh I didn't... (pause)

Rayner: But of course it was all play acting, so it doesn't make any difference what the Will says, does it? You burn the copy. The original was with the solicitor.

Agnes: (Relieved) Of course. It doesn't make any difference.

Rayner: Now, let's just check out your movements yesterday. Before Mrs. Christie arrived you were in your room for some time. With Mr. Buckley?

Agnes: Yes.

Rayner: All the time?

Agnes: (Uncertainly) I think so. Yes.

Rayner: Yes or maybe?

Agnes: Yes, definitely.

Rayner: So there was no time when you, or Mr. Buckley could have entered lady Bayfield's room to drug her water without the other knowing?

Agnes: (Over emphatically) That's correct.

Rayner: And after Thomas announced the fake death of Lady Bayfield, you and your husband again went upstairs - were you together?

Agnes: (Emphatically) Yes, yes.

Rayner: Including when you went into Lady Bayfield's room?

Agnes: (Rattled) Oh, apart from then. I was alone.

Rayner: And where was your husband?

Agnes: He was in our room. He was still there when I got back.

Rayner: Of course he was. And when you were in Lady Bayfield's room, surely you must have noticed there was something wrong with her. Mrs. Christie discovered her dead just after you left her room.

Agnes: But I didn't look at her. I just did what she asked me to, burn the Will.

Rayner: Mrs. Buckley, did you realise that your husband's background is known to me?

Agnes: What do you mean?

Rayner: That he left the force under a cloud. Police funds missing. Forged documents. Very strong suspicion that Ted was involved.

Agnes: But nothing was proved.

Rayner: There's no smoke without fire. Mrs. Buckley. I've found with criminals that there's almost always a pattern to their offences. They repeat the form of wrongdoing they've learnt throughout their career. Once a forger, always a forger. Mrs. Buckley, did you burn a forged Will?

Agnes: (Desperately) No, no.

Rayner: Mrs. Buckley, did you suspect that your husband might do something like that? You went into Lady Bayfield's room, found the forged Will, your husband's handiwork, discovered the body - assumed the worst, set out to suppress the evidence - and you've told us a web of lies over since.

Agnes: No, no, it's not true. He might be a forger, but he could never kill anyone. I know he couldn't.

Rayner: Constable, I think it's time we confronted Mr. Buckley.

Agnes: No, no. He couldn't have done it. (Desperately) I did it. I killed her.

Rayner: Constable, please accompany Mrs. Buckley, and ask Mr. Buckley to come in.

Constable: Should I caution her Sir, and prepare the charge sheet?

Rayner: No you damn fool, just do what you're told. (Exit Constable and Agnes, right)

Agatha: Too much heat, Inspector?

Rayner: I don't think so. Ted's demanding a lawyer. I need something to get him talking.

(Enter Constable and Ted, right)

Ted: What have you done to Agnes?

Rayner: Sit down, Ted.

Ted: No I won't sit down.

Rayner: Mr. Buckley, your wife has just confessed to the murder of Lady Bayfield.

Ted: You've got to be joking! Killed her sister? Agnes couldn't even kill a fly.

Rayner: That's what I was thinking. She's a hopeless liar, too. I think she's trying to protect someone.

Ted: (Pleased) Of course she is. She's lying for me, that fool woman. You have to hand it to her, though. Not too many women would do that for their husband. (Thoughtfully) And after all she's been through. I haven't been the best of husbands.

Rayner: So you admit you killed lady Bayfield?

Ted: I admit no such thing. Agnes thought I'd done it. The Will, the forged Will, I left it on Lady Bayfield's desk. Agnes heard me talking about forging a Will - I frightened her - she went in and checked - and found it there on the desk, Lady Bayfield dead, and jumped to conclusions.

Rayner: You were in Lady Bayfield's room just before your wife. Was Lady Bayfield dead then?

Ted: I suppose she must have been. I didn't check. I assumed she was asleep, or pretending. To be honest, I was rather keen to look at the new Will to see how it dealt with us.

Rayner: Murder aside for the moment. You've just admitted to forgery. That's a very serious offence.

Ted: (Suddenly alarmed) But Lady Bayfield asked me to. She knew I used to work in the fraud squad. I told her I wouldn't mind trying my hand at it.

Rayner: Can you prove that she asked you?

Ted: No, dammit. She made sure no one else knew - that was part of the game.

Rayner: Then you were the phoney murderer?

Ted: No I was a red herring - a sub-plot you might say.

Rayner: Then who was the phoney murderer?

Ted: I've been thinking about that. I think the fake murderer and the real murderer are one and the same person.

Rayner: (drily) We've already reached the same conclusion. Constable, could you ask Mrs. Buckley back? (Constable exits right) We'd better set your wife's mind at rest.

Ted: (surprised) Is that all then?

Rayner: For the time being.

Ted: You mean you're accepting my explanation?

Rayner: I have my own reasons for believing you. Anyway, you're too canny to make up such a ridiculous story.

(Constable and Agnes enter from right)

Ted: (Going to bookcase) By the way, you'd better have this. (Takes Will out of book and takes it to Rayner) I imagine the original is with her solicitor.

Rayner: (PuttingWill on coffee table) Mrs. Buckley, you'll be pleased to know that as far as I can see at present, you and your husband are no longer suspected of any wrongdoing. I'm sorry for the way I questioned you, but I wanted to eliminate the false trails as quickly as possible, so we can get to the heart of the matter.

Agnes: You mean that Ted didn't... didn't do anything wrong?

Rayner:- And just a word of advice for you, Mrs. Buckley, if you should be so unfortunate as to be involved in a police investigation again, tell the truth from the start. It makes things much simpler in the long run.

(Ted and Agnes exit right)

Rayner: Which brings us to the crux of the matter. Constable, call Mrs. Hodges.

(Constable exits right)

Agatha: The fingerprint evidence is fairly damning.

Rayner: Not so much the glass by lady Bayfield's bed, (taking out of his pocket the bottle in the plastic bag) but this small medicine bottle found in the bushes in the garden. One set of prints only. In line of sight of the Hodges' bedroom window and no other.

Agatha: And the pillow.

Rayner: Fool of a thing to do, you know, to take the pillow from their own bed into Lady Bayfield's room - but of course they had no way of knowing that it was marked and identifiable.

Agatha: Then, unable to retrieve the pillow left under Lady Bayfield's bed, replacing the one in their room with the first to hand from the linen closet.

Rayner: One that happened to be marked M - a spare for Lady Bayfield's room. A pity that all murder cases can't be solved on such a simple piece of evidence. All that remains is to find out if Mr. Hodges is the culprit, or his wife.

Agatha: Or the two of them working together?

Rayner: Anything's possible.

(Enter Constable with Sarah from right)

Rayner: Please take a seat, Mrs. Hodges. (She sits at the table, right chair) The events of this weekend must have been quite a shock to you.

Sarah: Yes, it's terrible.

Rayner: (Sitting in chair left) You were very close to Lady Bayfield.

Sarah: She seemed to like me.

Rayner: And you?

Sarah: I felt sorry for her. I think she was a very lonely lady. These weekends meant so much to her, and everyone spent their time backbiting her.

Rayner: You kept yourself out of these murder games.

Sarah: It was all so depressing. The same thing time after time - the same stupid game.

Rayner: Did she ever ask you to be the murderer?

Sarah: Often. She thought I was the last person anyone would suspect.

Rayner: Did she ask you this time?

Sarah: No

Rayner: Why do you think she liked to play the game?

Sarah: I've often thought about that. She was almost always the victim. A psychiatrist could make all sorts of conclusions about that. She was always testing, trying to find what people really thought of her. At times she almost seemed to be daring people to say or do what they really felt like.

Rayner: But you wouldn't play the game. (Rising from his seat)

Sarah: Maybe that was why she liked me.

Rayner: (Turning on her) Where did you go just after Thomas announced her fake murder?

Sarah: I just wanted to get away from everyone. I went for a walk in the grounds.

Rayner: Then what?

Sarah: I came back inside.

Rayner: But no one saw you come in.

Sarah: I used the servants' entrance. (Pause) I was trying to avoid the others. I didn't feel like company.

Rayner: And when you got to your room, where was your husband?

Sarah: He was fast asleep in the bed. I sat on the bed thinking for a while, then I came down here to find out when dinner would be.

Rayner: Going here and there, changing your mind. It all seems quite directionless.

Sarah: That's how these weekends take me.

Rayner: Why do you keep coming here then?

Sarah: Greg's determined to come.

Rayner: Doesn't want to miss his chance in the Will?

Sarah: Greg's not a greedy man. All he wants to do is write his stories. The inheritance will allow him to do that.

Rayner: Without having to find a more stable way of earning a living?

Sarah: I suppose that's about the size of it.

Rayner: Any other reason he insists on visiting here?

Sarah: I don't know what you mean.

Rayner: I understand there are some problems in your marriage.

Sarah: I'd rather not discuss my personal life.

Rayner: Unfortunately, we are investigating a major crime. I'm afraid that matters previously regarded as personal become highly relevant.

Sarah: I don't see why.

Rayner: Mrs. Hodges, has your husband been faithful to you? (Sarah turns away. Pause) Has he?

Sarah: In his way.

Rayner: What does that mean?

Sarah: He's like a child. He needs me. I know he does. It's her. She's turned his head. She's poisoned his mind against me, made him think of me as a millstone around his neck. She's the one who's got him thinking of divorce. He'd never have thought of it on his own. It's, just not him. He's weak. If I could just get her influence away from him...

Rayner: He'd come back to you?

Sarah: He would, I'm certain of it.

Rayner: Mrs. Hodges, are you aware that the she you're talking about is Janet Drewer.

Sarah: (Passionately) Of course I am. I'm not blind, and I'm not a fool.

Rayner: Why haven't you confronted her?

Sarah: Maybe I should have. At first I'd hoped he'd tire of her. Then I was afraid to bring matters to a head, so I pretended I didn't know.

Rayner: Did you know that Lady Bayfield had changed her Will in your favour, I mean before you came here this weekend?

Sarah: Well it's hardly in my favour. We get the same share as before.

Rayner: But you did know about it?

Sarah: Yes.

Rayner: Under the new Will, if the two of you were to divorce, you'd go away with half of that inheritance.

Sarah: As his wife, it's no less than I deserve.

Rayner: But if she'd died under the old Will, he could have divorced you and taken the lot.

Sarah: But she didn't, did she?

Rayner: And now, of course, with Lady Bayfield dead, and the money about to fall into your hands...

Sarah: Our hands.

Rayner: There's a strong inducement for him to stay with you.

Sarah: I'd never thought of it that way.

Rayner: Really? Everyone else seems to have thought out the angles on the Will very carefully.

Sarah: That's because they're playing the game. Put I don't play it.

Rayner: No, you don't play games, do you, Mrs. Hodges. That's all I want to ask you at present, but I'll need you back in a few minutes. I have a few questions I have to ask your husband. Constable.

(The constable leads Sarah out, right.)

Rayner: Ice cool, Mrs. Christie, ice cool.

Agatha: You think we're close, Inspector?

Rayner: Adrenalin, you can always feel it. The thrill of the chase, you know, when you're homing in on your prey.

Agatha: I, have that feeling at a certain point in my novels. But then, it's not real. The characters are only in the mind. But now, all this leaves me with a sick feeling in the stomach.

Rayner: You harden to it, Mrs. Christie.

(Enter Greg with the Constable, right.)

Rayner: Mr. Hodges, please sit down.

Greg: (Sitting at the table, right chair) Thankyou.

Rayner: I understand you're a writer by trade.

Greg: That's right.

Rayner: Murder mysteries. Odd really when you think about it.

Greg: What?

Rayner: All you people here with a common interest in murder mysteries, and you find yourselves right in the middle of a real one.

Greg: Not so odd really.

Rayner: Why's that?

Greg: Bit like children playing a game. There's always some blending of fantasy with reality. Someone here has obviously taken our game to its logical extension. An extra thrill.

Rayner: (Sitting next to him) Any ideas? I mean as a crime writer to a detective.

Greg: I'm in fiction. I wouldn't presume...

Rayner: Oh don't be so modest. All murders begin in the imagination. Presume away.

Greg: Very well then. I would say that in the end you always have to come back to psychology.

Rayner: And where does that get us? (Greg rises from his seat)

Greg: Motive's not enough. You can always find a motive. Most people wouldn't kill someone, even if there was a million pounds at stake. On the other hand, there are people capable of killing on the spur of the moment for the most trifling little annoyance.

Rayner: We're not looking at a spur of the moment killing. There's been careful planning.

Greg: Quite so. A murder, as this appears to be, of the cold blooded variety, is not the activity of a normal individual. We have to look for some evidence of a disturbed psyche - an obsessed or twisted mind. Don't you agree, Mrs. Christie?

Agatha: I wouldn't like to think that a normal person is capable of cold blooded murder.

Rayner: (standing and moving towards Greg) So where does that point?

Greg: Now, I'm not going to get into that one.

Rayner: Could we, for example, regard a man who condemns himself and his wife to poverty in the conviction that he's a great writer, as such an obsessed individual? Especially when the judgment of dozens of publishers points to his mediocrity.

Greg: Now look, that's getting a bit strong. Who are you to make a judgment of my talent?

Rayner: As I thought, completely unconcerned at the suggestion that you might be capable of murder. You're only stung by the thought you lack talent.

Greg: The time will come when you eat those words.

Rayner: It's the classic confrontation of fantasy and reality. The fantasy - you're an unrecognised genius. The reality - you're a drop out, living off your Aunt's charity, waiting to inherit a fortune you don't deserve, and all the time betraying a loyal wife in a sordid little affair!

Greg: My God, Rayner, you'd better be careful.

Rayner: No, Mr. Hedges, it's you who needs to be careful. Have you seen this before? (Produces bottle in plastic bag from pocket)

Greg: Where did you get that?

Rayner: It has your fingerprints on it, yours and no one else's. We've identified a few grains left in it as the same sleeping drug that was in the water at Lady Bayfield's bedside. After drugging her water, you clumsily disposed of the bottle from your bedroom window. Once Lady Bayfield had gone to her room, you excused yourself from down here and went to your room. When the coast was clear, you went into her room with your pillow and murdered her. Hearing someone coming, you left the pillow - not realising we were able to identify its source.

Greg: My God, it's not true. I swear it. I'm not a murderer.

Rayner: Over anxious to get the inheritance perhaps? Most likely infatuated with the idea of writing and carrying through your own murder plot. The truth is, Mr. Hodges, you're a fool, and a murderer. Constable!

(The Constable handcuffs him and takes him out exit right.)

Greg: (As he is led out struggling) You can't do this. I demand to see a lawyer.

Rayner: (Once Greg is out of the room) I had a feeling about him from the start. Didn't like him. Just couldn't put my finger on it.

Agatha: Are you sure about him?

Rayner: (Sharply) Of course I am. Years of experience. But it's not just feeling. The evidence is overwhelming - fingerprints, murder weapon, motive, and in his own words, the psychology...

Agatha: But for a cold blooded murderer, he seems so incredibly careless. His actions seem more like those of a man in panic - hurling the bottle from his window - his fingerprints all over vital evidence, then his melodramatic announcement of Lady Bayfield's death.

Rayner: Believe me, I've seen murderers far clumsier. It's never as neat as in your novels, where everyone carefully cleans off fingerprints. No matter how carefully planned, the act of murdering someone is bound to inspire panic.

Agatha: It almost looks as if he's trying to cover for someone else - that he stumbled on the body and vital evidence, jumped to certain conclusions, panicked and set out to destroy the evidence.

Rayner: In real life, Mrs. Christie, we can't write the final chapter just the way that suits us.

(Sarah rushes in from right, distraught, followed by Constable)

Sarah: It's not true, he didn't do it. He's covering for me. You can't take him to prison. It'd kill him, I know him, it'd kill him.

Rayner: Calm yourself, Mrs. Hodges. The truth is you'll be well rid of him.

Sarah: But you can't do this. It wasn't supposed to happen. He's just a child.

Rayner: A child maybe, but a murderer all the same.

Sarah: No, no, it was me. I did it. I did it for the money, so he'd stay with me. But he found out and tried to cover for me. I never wanted the blame to fall on him. I wanted her dead, but I wanted her money for the two of us. Can't you see, it was my only chance of keeping him. (She collapses)

CURTAIN

ACT III

(The next morning. Room unchanged from Act II. Pillow etc. have been moved from coffee table. Drinks removed from table. Agatha, alone, on the phone.)

Agatha: Inspector Twentyman, Scotland Yard? Ah good, this is Agatha again. Bill, have you found the information I asked for? You have? There was a cancellation? (Writing) leaving London six thirty P.M. for Paris. Very interesting. Were you able to find out who made the booking? Thelma Bayfield in the name of Janet Drewer. Really! Booking made on the fourteenth. That would be last Wednesday. And the cancellation? Made by Miss Drewer herself on Saturday afternoon. Thank you very much Bill, you've been very helpful. A lot of things become clear now. Yes. Thank you. (Hangs up. Thomas enters from right.)

Thomas: Oh! Mrs. Christie - you're still here.

Agatha: Some unfinished business. Another hour or so and I'll be done, and off home.

Thomas: I envy you.

Agatha: What do you mean?

Thomas: You have a home to return to. This is my only home, and now it's finished.

Agatha: How long will you stay on here?

Thomas: They want me to stay until the Will's settled - caretaker - then the house goes on the market.

Agatha: That's a pity.

Thomas: Unavoidable, or so they say. Most of lady Bayfield's wealth was tied up with the property. With three beneficiaries, it seems there's no alternative.

Agatha: What will you do when it's settled?

Thomas: I'm not thinking of anything beyond today.

Agatha: But you'll have to start planning for the future.

Thomas: The future! There isn't any. I'm an old man now. With Lady Bayfield gone, I can't see that I'll be of any use to anyone.

Agatha: You mustn't think that way. You've worked hard all your life. With some money coming your way, you should be thinking of enjoying the retirement you've earned. Get yourself a nice little flat somewhere. Wander down to the horse races just as you feel like it - a little flutter now and then with no one to tell you off.

Thomas: I've never been able to have 'just a little flutter'. Whatever I've got in my pocket ends up with the bookie, and often money that I don't have as well. I couldn't imagine this inheritance lasting long.

Agatha: Just a little self control...

Thomas: A modest wage, and living here, has kept me out of too much trouble. The bookies know I haven't much, so they won't let me overdo it. The problem is, I know myself too well. when it comes to gambling on the horses, I don't have any self control. Once the bookies know I have all this money, it'll be open go and unlimited credit. There are people who never hold on to money, and I'm one of them. I'd be in the bankruptcy courts within a year. That's if I didn't drop dead first.

Agatha: But you're in excellent health.

Thomas: I've seen it happen with so many others. Hardly a day's sickness to their retirement. Within a year, they're dead. It's the feeling of uselessness that does it, I think.

Agatha: Thomas, my caretaker is retiring shortly. I could consider you for his job. I'm out of the country quite often, and I need someone to keep an eye on the place.

Thomas: It's no use pretending...

Agatha: But the job would be perfect for you - some general maintenance work, light duties, but enough to keep you occupied, a place to live, some company, and meanwhile, time to enjoy a kind of semi-retirement.

Thomas: It just wouldn't be the same. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I'm too set in my ways. I've only known one life, and now that's over.

Agatha: You'll have to do something.

Thomas: I'm going to do something.

Agatha: Oh?

Thomas: I don't think there's anyone that knows me -I mean really knows what goes on in my mind.

Agatha: Most people feel that way at some stage in their life.

Thomas: There's people I'd call friends, but it's all superficial - someone to chat to at the races and share a beer. Even Lady Bayfield, after thirty years, didn't really know me. You just learn certain patterns of behaviour with each other. But neither she, nor anyone else really knew what goes on here. (Thumps his heart)

Agatha: I'm sure there's a great deal of goodwill towards you.

Thomas: Old Thomas, pottering around, looking after his Mistress, loyal to a fault, like a trusted moth eaten old hound. One weakness - a fondness for the horses - his one claim to being an individual. The fact is, I've never been tested. No one knows what I'm really capable of. I don't even know.

Agatha: It isn't healthy to speculate that way. Lady Bayfield's death is bound to depress you.

Thomas: She and I - (Pause) there was a kind of rapport. I'm not one for big words. It was like two opposite sides of a coin. I'd almost call it a sort of love. (Voice breaking a little)

Agatha: (Sympathetically) It must be very hard for you.

Thomas: Lady Bayfield's murderer killed two birds with one stone. I'm the other bird.

Agatha: Lady Bayfield had perhaps only a few months left - weeks even. You've heard her talking about voluntary euthanasia. Life wasn't easy or enjoyable for her anymore with her illness. She'd led such an active life.

Thomas: Are you saying it was a mercy killing, like putting down an old pet? If that's the case, then this old horse is ready for the glue factory.

Agatha: I didn't mean...

Thomas: You don't know how it is for people like us. If she had only weeks left, then they should have been the most precious in her life. And for me too.

Agatha: I don't think she'd like to hear you talking this way.

Thomas: You may be right there. (Pause) That's where she didn't really know me. Mrs. Christie, it would take an extraordinary kind of person to hold a pillow over the face of a helpless old lady.

Agatha: I've thought that myself.

Thomas: Hanging's very rare these days. If you ask my opinion, society's getting soft. They say it's hard to find someone to do the hangman's job. Maybe they should let the victim's loved ones do it.

Agatha: But if it really came down to it, could you do that?

Thomas: It's hard to picture, I must admit. But then again, it's hard to picture Lady Bayfield struggling to death with a pillow held to her face.

Agatha: I have the same difficulty imagining Sarah that way.

Thomas: Oh?

Agatha: That's why in the end we just have to trust the courts - onus of proof, reasonable doubt.

Thomas: That's the heart of it, knowing for certain. I don't believe Mrs. Hodges did it. Now there's others I could imagine...

Agatha: Go on.

Thomas: Nothing I can prove - and I've no evidence for it. But if I could know for certain who killed her, and what was going on in their mind... If only I could be sure.

Agatha: It's not clean, as in a novel, with a last minute confession that clears away all doubt. There's always going to be that element of wondering.

Thomas: If I could hear a confession, and meet their stare, eye to eye, and really know, then... You'd just finished on the phone when I came in. Mrs. Christie. You have your own ideas too, don't you?

Agatha: Let's just say, I still have an open mind. Look, Thomas, you have to understand, life goes on. It's no use dwelling on things.

Thomas: (Turning away) You're right, Mrs. Christie. Thank you for your advice.

Agatha: I'm pleased to hear it. Now if you'll excuse me, I still have a few other things to do.

(Exits left. Thomas goes to desk. He opens drawer with a key, takes out a revolver, loads it, places it in his jacket pocket. He is startled by the sound of the front door bell. He exits left and returns immediately with Dave)

Dave: How's life treating you, mate?

Thomas: What are you doing here?

Dave: You've had a busy weekend, I heard.

Thomas: Yes.

Dave: Bit of luck, mate.

Thomas: What?

Dave: The old bird, kicking off like that. Something in it for you, mate?

Thomas: Don't be disrespectful.

Dave: Oh come on, Thommo.

Thomas: Don't call me Thommo.

Dave: Oh I forgot. Perhaps it should be Mr. Thomas now.

Thomas: What do you mean?

Dave: We're both men of the world. Rumour on the grape vine is you've done nicely out of all this.

Thomas: What happened to my accumulator?

Dave: Don't worry about that. We've got bigger things now.

Thomas: Twenty five pounds on Banbury Boy.

Dave: Bolted in at even money.

Thomas: Then Half a League at twelve to one.

Dave: Came nowhere. Blown the lot.

Thomas: I had a feeling that might happen.

Dave: If you ask me, there was something shonky. Looked like the jockey pulled him up. They must be saving him for something big.

Thomas: And the twenty five pounds I gave you for the other jockey to set a fast pace?

Dave: Johnny Wade on Boy Blue? Worked a treat. Went straight to the front, led all the way, never headed. All the way win. Ten to one, a treat to watch.

Thomas: You didn't happen to have any money on him?

Dave: No way. I'm as dark about it as you are.

Thomas: So you lost it all?

Dave: That's about the size of it. But all that's kids stuff now. There's some top races this Wednesday. With the money you'll be getting...

Thomas: A Will takes months to settle.

Dave: Don't let that worry you. I'll put the word out. Unlimited credit. We'll burn them - you and me - the old partnership.

Thomas: And of course, ten percent to you.

Dave: Inside information, mate. I'm not giving it away for nothing.

Thomas: I might as well tell you now. You can stop coming here. My racing days are over.

Dave: Don't talk rubbish. Once a punter, always a punter.

Thomas: There's only one gamble left in me, and it's not on the horses.

Dave: But listen mate, when you hear what's running this week...

Thomas: That's all. I've told you. Don't bother coming here anymore. Would you mind leaving now?

Dave: I see. That's it. A bit of money now, and you're too good for your old mates.

Thomas: That'll be all. The door's over here. (Moving to left exit)

Dave: I'm getting the Picture now. You said that all you wanted was a stake -a few thousand. Now you've got it.

Thomas: I'll thank you not to call here again.

Dave: Did the old bird call you Mr. Thomas before she kicked the bucket?

Thomas: She didn't as a matter of fact.

Dave: No chance for her to say, could you take me for a drive, Mr. Thomas, and for you to say, with the utmost pleasure, lady Bayfield.

Thomas: There's no chance of that happening now.

Dave: You know, I've been thinking. The police might be interested to know about your chequered career.

Thomas: They know I like to bet.

Dave: The full extent of it? All the sordid details? I've half a mind to drive up to the police station and tell them everything I know.

Thomas: That shouldn't take long.

Dave: (Turning nasty) Don't get smart with me. I think they might be very interested. That poor woman behind bars. Maybe they've been looking in the wrong direction.

Thomas: Maybe they have.

Dave: (Surprised pause) I guessed right, then. Of course, I could be persuaded to keep mum.

Thomas: Oh could you?

Dave: For, say, fifty quid.

Thomas: Fifty pounds, you sell yourself cheaply.

Dave: One hundred quid, smart alec.

Thomas: For one hundred, you'd withhold vital evidence from the police?

Dave: Sure. I know something. It has a price. Everything has a price. One hundred quid, you'll never see me again.

(Front door bell rings. Thomas goes to left exit. Dave goes to sideboard to pour a drink.)

Thomas: (Without turning round) Leave that bottle alone, Mr. Bains. (Dave puts it down. Thomas exits left and returns with Greg.)

Thomas: You've come back. I thought you would.

Greg: Who's he?

Dave: I'm Thommo's relative, aren't I, mate? Long lost nephew from Australia. Run a sheep station, don't I, mate?

Thomas: The door is over here Mr. Bains.

Dave: (Exiting, left) One hundred quid, mate. I'll be seeing you.

Greg: What was that all about?

Thomas: Nothing to concern you, Mr. Hodges.

Greg: Have you seen Janet?

Thomas: I believe she's still in her room, packing.

Greg: Could you tell her I want to speak to her.

Thomas: I should prefer not to accept any go-between role, Sir, when it comes to the two of you.

Greg: Well, of all the rude...

Thomas: Please save your breath, Sir. You've got what you wanted. I owe you nothing.

Greg: I see. Suddenly cocky now the old hen's dead and you've got your money.

Thomas: You think the money means anything to me?

Greg: A whole lot, I'd say.

Thomas: You wouldn't credit how blind the police can be.

Greg: I've been thinking exactly the same thing.

Thomas: Of course, they come in cold. They don't know any of us - who might be capable of committing murder.

Greg: (Pointedly) Yes.

Thomas: Of course, they rely on deduction. I go on feeling. (Hand into pocket with gun) Like you for instance. Never thought you were very brave. All talk, no stomach.

Greg: That kind of courage - to commit murder - you speak of it as if it were a virtue.

Thomas: Not a virtue, a curse.

Greg: Now take you - a dark horse, I'd say. I wouldn't put anything past you.

Thomas: You may be right there, Sir.

Greg: Sir, still Sir, when you're being so bloody impertinent.

Thomas: But if someone else did all the dirty work...

Greg: Just what are you insinuating?

Thomas: (Nervously fingering his gun in his pocket) That's a big word for me, Sir. I haven't had your education.

Greg: Oh I get it. The best form of defence they say, is attack.

Thomas: Why did you come back this morning?

Greg: What? Something I have to sort out.

Thomas: How did Mrs. Hodges enjoy her first night in prison?

Greg: Now look, that's going a bit far. You think this has been pleasant for me?

Thomas: I'm surprised the police didn't keep you.

Greg: They asked me a lot of Questions, and in the end they were satisfied and let me go.

Thomas: And you left your wife to take the blame?

Greg: Well what do you expect me to do? I couldn't force them to let her out.

Thomas: Maybe it suited you to leave her.

Greg: What do you mean by that?

Thomas: Get your wife nicely out of the way.

Greg: Do you think I planned it like this?

Thomas: And then straight back here.

Greg: You're sounding like a blasted detective.

Thomas: I know what's been going on behind your wife's back.

Greg: Well bully for you...

Thomas: And I can add up two and two and get the right answer, when it's staring me in the face. The body barely cold, Mrs. Hodges languishing in gaol, and you back here to collect your fancy woman.

(By now, Thomas is facing the audience, with his back to Greg, hand in gun pocket.)

Greg: I spent three hours answering police questions last night, and I'm not putting up with your insolence. I don't have to answer to you.

(Thomas removes the gun from his pocket, unseen by Greg.)

Thomas: That's where you're wrong.

(Janet enters right, with suitcase. Thomas puts the gun away, unseen by Janet, and hurriedly exits left into house.)

Janet: Why was he in such a hurry?

Greg: Some rather impertinent questions. I was just about to send him off with a flea in his ear.

Janet: And Sarah?

Greg: They're formally charging her this morning. I've been through hell.

Janet: But at least it's all over now.

Greg: Is it? It's a nightmare in the making, except that when you wake up in the morning, the nightmare's still there. Every morning. There's no peace anymore.

Janet: But just think, we'll be together now. That's all we ever wanted. And there's the inheritance.

Greg: Sometimes you amaze me, Janet. Everything that's happened - you can't just block it out and walk away smiling the day after.

Janet: (Unconvincingly) You're right, Greg. It's been hell for me too, but it's no use dwelling on it.

Greg: I just need a few days to get myself on an even keel.

Janet: What?

Greg: I just need time to think.

Janet: What do you mean - alone?

Greg: Yes alone. I mean alone.

Janet: (Long pause) All right. When shall I call you? Friday? Will that be enough time?

Greg: Janet, I came back this morning for another reason altogether. Something's been troubling me in this whole business.

Janet: What?

Greg: Well what it comes down to is, Sarah couldn't have done it - or at least, not in the way that she explained to the police.

Janet: (Turning away from him) Oh?

Greg: No. I've been thinking about it \- and the questions the police kept asking me. They think I was covering up for her, and so I was, but not in everything.

Janet: Isn't it better to put all this behind us?

Greg: I can't. You see, originally, I was convinced that Lady Bayfield had arranged for Sarah to be her murderer in the game, you understand.

Janet: What made you think that?

Greg: Earlier, I'd found a bottle of some kind of powder in our overnight bag. This was shortly after Thomas had taken our bag up to our, room. So later, when Lady Bayfield went upstairs, I made out I was tired and went back to my room to have a good look to see if there was any more evidence. (Janet turns back to face him)

Janet: That's what landed you in all the trouble. Why did you have to interfere?

Greg: I told you. I wanted to be the one to expose Lady Bayfield's plot.

Janet: (Quietly) I should have thought of that. (Louder) Your bloody ego. So you went up and messed with all the clues.

Greg: But apart from the bottle, I couldn't find anything. Of course, I didn't know anything about the pillows at that stage.

Janet: How could you?

Greg: So I went into Lady Bayfield's room. And that's when...

Janet: When what?

Greg: When I found her... found her... dead.

Janet: But she's an old lady - why didn't you assume a heart attack?

Greg: The glass by her bed, and - one more thing - this. (Takes a note from his pocket and shows it to Janet)

Janet: "My water. She's drugged it. I can't keep my eyes open." But this is so obvious - it was one of Lady Bayfield's clues.

Greg: Well, what was I supposed to think? She was lying there dead, with a note beside her. I assumed she meant Sarah, and Sarah really had murdered her. And you see, there was all Sarah's talk about going to any lengths to keep me.

Janet: For Godsake, why did you cover up for her?

Greg: I did it without thinking. I mean, dammit, she's my wife.

Janet: But you want a divorce don't you?

Greg: I wanted a divorce, but that doesn't mean I wanted her in prison.

Janet: But if you thought that she deserved it...

Greg: But can't you see - what she did was for me.

Janet: I can't believe I'm hearing this.

Greg: Or at least, what I thought she'd done. But here's the clincher, the reason why I know she's innocent.

Janet: But leave it, Greg, you must be mistaken.

Greg: I can't be. You see, she was supposed to have taken a pillow from our room, then put another pillow back in its place. But except for when I was in Lady Bayfield's room, I was in our room all the time. So there was no way she could have done it without me knowing.

Janet: But weren't you asleep?

Greg: No, I was pretending. When I realised Lady Bayfield had been murdered, I didn't want people to think I'd been roaming around the place. But the point is, Sarah never touched the pillow.

Janet: Did you tell this to the police?

Greg: Of course I did, but they already knew that I'd been covering up for Sarah, so they thought I was lying for her again.

Janet: Well then, you've done all you can.

Greg: But there's more. You see, I've got it all figured out now. We've got to tell the police. Lady Bayfield wasn't suffocated. Someone forced her into an overdose of her own heart pills. Don't you remember us talking about it?

Janet: But that's ridiculous. What about the pillow under her bed, and the sleeping powder?

Greg: I've been thinking about that. I think the bottle and the pillows must have been set up well in advance, planted to make it look like Lady Bayfield was smothered to death.

Janet: But this is all speculation.

Greg: And if the evidence was planted, someone was trying to put the blame on Sarah to cover up for themselves. And that can only mean one person.

Janet: (Turning away) Oh?

Greg: Yes. Don't you see? Thomas. (Janet turns back) Who made the beds in the first place? Who carried our bag up to our room? And planted the sleeping powder? Who was the last to see Lady Bayfield alive? Thomas. He forced her to take the pills - at gunpoint, probably. He's got a gun hasn't he?

Janet: Are you sure you're not mistaken?

Greg: And another thing - the way he was talking to me just now. I've never seen that side of him before. I don't think he's stable.

Janet: So what do you propose to do?

Greg: I want you to help me. If I say all this to the police, they won't believe me. But if you do too, maybe they'll start to listen.

Janet: And then what?

Greg: What do you mean? They'll let Sarah out of prison.

Janet: And we'll be right back to square one.

Greg. But Sarah's innocent.

Janet: At least she's out of the way. Listen Greg, they're not going to hang her. With all this business about her being desperate not to lose you, and hoping that her share of the inheritance might hold you, she'll probably get off on manslaughter - diminished responsibility they call it. It won't even be a long sentence.

Greg: I don't understand you.

Janet: If she's convicted of killing Lady Bayfield there's no way she can inherit Lady Bayfield's money. Her share then goes to you. The point is, if you interfere now, you'll be giving away half your money.

Greg: (Realisation slowly dawning) Why should Thomas try to set up Sarah? He liked her. She was the last person he'd want blamed.

Janet: Why did you have to go interfering up there, messing up all the clues. You could have ruined everything.

Greg: You!

Janet: Why can't you let sleeping dogs lie?

Greg: (Holding his head) This is a nightmare.

Janet: It should be a dream come true.

Greg: But Lady Bayfield dead, Sarah in prison.

Janet: Do you love her or me? (Thomas enters right. Greg rushes out past him to front door, in panic.)

Thomas: Why is he going? I don't understand.

Janet: He's a fool.

Thomas: I always thought you were well suited.

Janet: If he hadn't guessed, it would have been all right.

Thomas: It rather makes a hole in the plan.

Janet: What?

Thomas: I've worked out that much Janet. You're very clever, and for the life of me, I still can't work out how you did it. But at least I know why.

Janet: This is interesting. Tell me.

Thomas: With Sarah locked away, you and Mr. Hodges share his inheritance. Only if you fall out with him, then it's all been for nothing.

Janet: You talk more than's good for you.

Thomas: Then I'm right!

Janet: Then you mean you're not sure?

Thomas: Oh, I want to be sure. I want you to look me straight in the eye and say you killed lady Bayfield.

Janet: (looking straight at him) Very well, Thomas, I can say to you categorically, I did not kill Lady Bayfield.

Thomas: What? Then Mr. Hodges did it. You're playing with words.

Janet: No Thomas, we weren't working together. And no, Thomas, Mr. Hodges didn't kill Lady Bayfield either. He wouldn't have the courage. He knows as little as you do.

Thomas: You're lying.

Janet: What makes you think that?

Thomas: (Desperate) It's got to be you. It's just got to be.

Janet: What difference does it make anyway?

Thomas: Oh, it makes a very big difference. (Takes out his gun) It makes this much difference. (Points gun at her)

Janet: (Laughs at him) Thomas, there are two kinds of people in this house, those with the courage to make things happen, and those who like to play games. You come into the second category. So does Greg. He's a weakling. That's probably one of the things that attracts me to him.

Thomas: And which sort are you?

Janet: Oh I'm one of the first sort, without a doubt.

Thomas: But not a murderer, so you say.

Janet: You know, Thomas, I'm almost tempted to say that I did kill Lady Bayfield, just to see what you'd do with that toy.

Thomas: You're mad.

Janet: Not mad. I just like to have things my way.

Thomas: So Mr. Hodges had nothing to do with Lady Bayfield's murder, and Mrs. Hodges is innocent too. Do you know who is guilty?

Janet: Yes.

Thomas: Who is it?

Janet: I'm not going to tell you.

Thomas: (Cocking gun) Tell me. It's you, isn't it?

Janet: You're not going to shoot me, Thomas.

(Thomas holds gun steady. Then his hand begins to shake. Finally he lowers his gun and his arm hangs loose.)

Janet: I told you, Thomas, you're one of the game players. You're nicely set up yourself, Thomas. You ought to thank me... or whoever did it.

Thomas: (Sourly) I'm grateful all right.

Janet: Nice sum of money for your retirement. Plenty of horses you can back with that. Little house near Epsom. Potter down when you feel like it and have a chat and a drink with your mates.

Thomas: At least you won't be getting any of the money.

Janet: Oh won't I? It's funny how people get used to things. Greg'll see where his best advantage lies. He'll be back with me in under a fortnight. You watch.

(Knocking on front door. Extended pause)

Thomas: That might be him now. (Puts gun back in his pocket. Pause)

Janet: Well aren't you going to answer it?

Thomas: You can this time. (Knocking again)

Janet: (Pause) It could be anyone.

Thomas: Then why don't you answer it? (Knocking again)

Janet: For Godsake Thomas, answer it.

(Agatha glances in at left then exits to answer door. Rayner, Constable, Greg enter.)

Greg: (As he enters) You have to listen to me, Inspector. She's innocent.

Rayner: You're getting very repetitious, Mr. Hodges.

Agatha: Thank you for coming, Inspector.

Rayner: I came as quickly as I could after you called...

Agatha: Miss Drewer, I see by your bag you're about to leave.

Janet: Nothing to keep me here any longer.

Agatha: If you'll just bear with me for a few minutes, Miss Drewer.

Janet: (Looking at Constable at left exit) I get the feeling that I don't have any choice.

Rayner: That's right, Miss Drewer.

Greg: So what's going on?

Rayner: If you'll just be patient.

Greg: But Sarah, she's...

Rayner: It's all right, Mr. Hodges, we're dropping all charges against your wife.

Greg: She's no longer under suspicion?

Rayner: That's correct, Mr. Hodges. By now, she should be at your home. If you have any sense at all - and that's a matter of serious doubt -you'll go to her at once. That woman's a treasure.

Janet: She told you she'd go to any lengths to keep you. Can't you see that's why she took the blame? It's her mad possessiveness. Are you going to let her get her clutches into you again?

(Greg looks at Rayner and at Janet again. Then he exits left to outside.)

Rayner: (To Janet) All your plans. Like a house of cards.

Janet: Inspector, hasn't it occurred to you that the two of them were in it together?

Rayner: Really Miss Drewer, that's not worthy of you. Mrs. Christie, I believe you have some new evidence to put before us.

Agatha: Thank you, Inspector. Thomas, I hinted to you earlier my suspicions. But there was one problem I just couldn't work out.

Rayner: Miss Drewer, Mrs. Christie intimated to me at an early stage of our enquiry her suspicion that we were looking not at a case of murder, but suicide.

Agatha: Lady Bayfield presented the clues with her own lips - her reference to voluntary euthanasia, the missing pills, her insistence that this weekend would be her last.

(Janet turns her back on the speakers.)

Rayner: But I ruled out the possibility because it required an accomplice - someone to reveal to the guests at a suitable time the solution of the mystery - namely suicide.

Agatha: The point is that if she'd told someone what she was planning, they'd have had no choice but to try to prevent it.

Thomas: Why not a suicide note?

Agatha: Then there's no mystery. She wanted the mystery to last until Sunday night, when the guests were due to go home. Of course, she could have given someone a letter with instructions not to open it until Sunday night.

Thomas: The letter that Lady Bayfield gave to Janet!

Janet: I've shown you that - a dismissal letter.

Rayner: An unsigned forgery. We had no reason to doubt it until Mrs. Christie uncovered the new evidence.

Janet: Oh?

Agatha: Of course, handing Miss Drewer a letter containing the solutions with instructions not to open it until Sunday were not the full answer, because as soon as it was discovered that Lady Bayfield was really dead, Miss Drewer would have been obliged to open the letter at once - destroying -the mystery.

Janet: So you've got nothing to go on.

Agatha: Then I began to think to myself, if I were Lady Bayfield, how would I make sure that this letter was not opened until Sunday evening? The answer, of course, was that the person entrusted with the letter should not know that Lady Bayfield was dead.

Thomas: But how could she possibly do this?

Agatha: By arranging for the holder of the letter to go on a long trip to somewhere they couldn't be contacted.

Thomas: The trip to Paris.

Agatha: I can almost imagine her words to Janet on Friday - and if Thomas hadn't heard the word Paris, I'd have had nothing to go on. It might have gone something like this: Janet, to make my plot interesting this weekend, I've booked a trip to Paris for you. You leave for the train as soon as Thomas announces my murder straight away, mind you. You keep this letter safe until Sunday night. Then you can open it, and there will be some more Instructions for you. Under no circumstances attempt to phone back here until then. Meanwhile, you can have a lovely time in Paris, and here's fifty pounds spending money to make sure you do.

Thomas: The severance money.

Rayner: So called.

Thomas: And what did the letter really say?

Agatha: We'd better ask Miss Drewer.

Janet: This is all a fantasy.

Agatha: Which is exactly what the game is. Except that this time, Lady Bayfield provided the game with a real corpse. I imagine the letter advised Janet of the suicide, and told her to phone the house with the news - the solution of the game.

Janet: Rather an elaborate way to give the solution, don't you think?

Agatha: Ah, but what a mystery it would have been - a real corpse, real detectives called in, a forged will on her desk, sleeping powder and pillows planted to further confuse the situation - I imagine she asked Janet to plant the powder bottle for her - and then to top it all off, a suspect absconding to Paris, and no way of contacting her.

Thomas: But Janet opened the letter an Friday.

Agatha: Unknown to Lady Bayfield, and set out to change all the clues, destroying the letter to cover up the suicide, and making sure that all the evidence pointed to Mrs. Hodges.

Thomas: And Mr. Hodges?

Rayner: In complete ignorance.

Thomas: But how could she know that Mrs. Hodges would confess?

Agatha: She didn't. Once her plan was set in motion there was no turning back. Mr. Hodges nearly spoiled the whole thing by interfering with the clues Janet had planted, and making it look as if he was the guilty party.

Janet: Even if I were to admit what you say is true, what crime have I committed? It's hardly murder we're talking about.

Thomas: (With feeling) You knew she was going to kill herself, and you let her:

Rayner: And tried to have Mrs. Hodges put away for murder.

Thomas: You were down here, I remember, calm as anything, knowing that Lady Bayfield was in her room, swallowing a fatal dose of her pills. You ware casually talking and joking while she died of a heart attack. You let her do it. Haven't you any feelings at all?

Janet: What people choose to do to themselves is their own business.

Thomas: Poor woman. She needed protecting from herself. To think her life depended on your compassion.

Janet: But of course, this is all guess work, and rather wild at that.

Rayner: It's convincing enough to establish grounds to acquit Mrs. Hedges.

Janet: But not convincing enough to take me to court.

Rayner: We know for a fact that you cancelled a trip to Paris.

Janet: There's no law against that.

Rayner: The planted evidence the pillow, the bottle.

Janet: Can you prove I planted it?

Rayner: Circumstantial evidence suggests... (trailing off)

Janet: Reasonable doubt. On your evidence, they'd laugh you out of court.

Thomas: You killed Lady Bayfield, just as if you fired a gun at her.

(Thomas takes out his gun. The Constable moves towards him, but stops when Thomas points the gun at him and Rayner indicates for him not to intervene with a movement of his arm. Thomas points the gun at Janet.)

Janet: It was suicide, you heard.

Thomas: But you did nothing to stop her.

Janet. That's what they say.

Thomas: And now you're getting off scot free.

Janet: And why not, if I didn't do anything'

Thomas: Tell me, tell me, eye to eye, is it true?

Janet: Thomas, stop playing with that, toy. You know you haven't the courage to use it. You know what we were talking about - those who play games and those with the courage to act? You're a game player.

Thomas: Did you do what they said?

Janet: (Calmly and brightly) Yes, now put that toy down.

(Thomas shoots her. She clasps her hands to her chest and as she starts to fall, instant blackout.)

CURTAIN

Other e-books by the same author:

Twilight of The Bald  
Terra Nullius - The Definite History  
Twilight of The Bald and Other Stories  
O Juliet, Juliet  
The Playground of The Mind is a Broad Theatre
