With [the] Fairy Tale of love
. Thank you
This is a story about love when a guy [eats] a girl in a bar. He sees a girl I
Want to say he's a great big hello
She looked lovely the dress that night. She was wearing
She wasn't looking at it. So he showed her his best dance [mouth]
Hey, you want to drink what you want, okay?
Why?
fair enough
The girl looks the guy in tears. I'm sorry. I've got a little taller. Don't go he says please don't go
I love
The girl comes back. I'm sorry
[hey], let it come back to my place of coffee the guy says hey, God
The guy got the girl and now they'd be together for 45 years
It's a fairy tale [Pablo]. Thank you
Dear 25
8:48 a.m.
And the new Celebrity Housemaid have arrived
by big brother
car ah
[did] somebody mention car? [oh] yeah? Oh?
Hello, Simon, or can I call you daddy?
in 49
[a.m.], the housemates are having donuts for breakfast, and it's emily nature donut oh
No news is there anything they can't do mMM marge?
You're talking about donor to [your] homie
the Harpy
Will be back after the bridge arthur the night she said
Nothing is harder to do so pay attention
949
Am
Trying to find out if you've got the x factor
You left like a pop star. [you] sound like a pop star. [I] cut your food
but Gara Gara Jar Jar Jar jar oh Garth Garth
We need to find ice the thought up once final judge Simon
Hey
Okay, let me stop you there
Like you
Thank you very much. Yeah
Careful you're gonna lose my voices. Oh, I got [the] loyal car
After hot we got the wild card. What's the guy's deal? You make me talk. I made you the finest
[sis's] I'm a [bitter] look with off that right ear chickity China the tiny ticket yet again sticking everything [-] get away - no
[I] took it away no, God
[he's] a little weird [any] [business]. No now the hypnotist puts people to sleep
All right, so you miss the Manda this week? Yeah? I didn't think I was going to see you again [Des]
You know what she didn't call on me this week awesome, and I've been calling you
pasty oh
Hey [seize] that because we're on [television], and you're in high definition notices on a hot dolly who?
Okay, let me out no Mandarin
Simon. [oh] not you. I thought I'd sent you home
Finish my act yet you see you're a sensation with the ladies all over the world. Yes, I am
Just tell me can you let me in on your little?
Secret where I speak [your] [language] [is] this really can you speak Spanish? Can you know how am I going to do it then?
I'm going to count to ten [in] English and then you translate okay. Let's see what you got
One Luenell - does 3 hang on what this isn't going to work?
Why not [you're] going to count to 10? Yes, how do I know when you get to 6?
Is it going to hurt?
[okay], Amanda Amanda. Shut up, Louie. That's not Louie
It looks like in no time Amanda [have] all [y'all] y'all ready?
Okay, fine fine
Hello, Sunita. Oh
Listen to me yes, you two always together masters. We go together so well
We go together Saga the lingered on together forever
[I'm] sorry cranky
I love TV. Man. Anybody here remember blind date
ladies and gentlemen
It's flying today, and here's your host miss Bella black
We've got three bonnie lads behind that screen [and] [less] family [do] clapping. How are you?
And [is] the gorgeous girl is Gonna meet him and name's Amanda come in Amanda
You know I'd love to see the screen goes back. She doesn't like a look at the guy. She makes it clear good
It's Gonna do
Pray women why do you always come to the club with a friend that doesn't look as cute as you?
Yes, and guys just as you're about to get the cute ones number the friend comes along and messes it up completely
Yes, let me set the scene Alicia. Hi. You're kind of cute. Oh, you're cute too. Here comes the friend
Who are you? [who] are you? [who] [are] you?
Then they turn to their friend who is hate him is hate harry Payne
Are you enough? Huh? You look like an [outcast] you [act] like an ass could you not another exactly [awful]. You are [another]?
If I'm not getting the man no one getting the man
Total Recall Predator commando action films I love them favorite action Hero Arnold Schwarzenegger
Yes, because swats [negger] is always asking [questions], huh?
Huh, what [the] hell is going on I?
do wrong
And he's always trying to explain his drama to other people that don't care so some men just try to kill me [I]
Think [they] must fight or something harry from work
He was the boss organized a lot on my hands blood on my knives. He tried to take my life get down
[launched] me. So you know the now. It's after a few cold days
It's getting warm outside, and I like the warm weather because it makes me warmer
That's my form of joke
When my chicken has a birthday, I don't tell him because he would not understand
It so I have another animal joke woof woof woof woof
That's a joke you can take home for your dog ha ha
Simon have you got a dog [3] will you tell your dogs my joke?
I was thinking about that when you said it. Yeah, let me hear it work work work work
I'm not [sure]. They're gonna understand can you try this my accent both?
[ok] thank you for making me sound so sexy
So does anybody like seeing couples kissing public? No now? What will I do?
and
every time I do I always got to them and I stare directly at them and
Usually they stop and then then they ask me do you mind [and] I'm like I don't mind that
My name is [gustus] candace, and in case you want to follow me. This is what I look like from behind
oh septic
Don't worry. I know what you thinking harry Potter the nasty quidditch accident
Do you know I can't stand sorry sorry let me emphasize. Do you know what I can't stand
Well look on the bright side [I've] never [ID2q] it Disney on
Now just I'm just gonna throw a disclaimer out there if I do get too energetic, please stop me. I want to keep my benefit
Otherwise otherwise, how would I hate the jacuzzi?
I'm joking I'm joking it's a pool
Over there I was at the cinema seeing the new James Bond film the other day
And then it got me thinking you know maybe I would have liked to have had a go you know being James Bond
But obviously. I'm a bit inhibited ah
Mr. Bond has been expecting you
Noli
but this isn't the first Britain's got talent event I've been to I was actually a
Live tour in Manchester funnily enough two years ago and the staff they couldn't be more helpful
Moving people out the way getting us to a seat and then when we finally got there the view was just fantastic
And we sat down and my sister
She tapped me on the shoulder turn round, and [I'll] never forget this as long as I live she said
Jack
We are so lucky are disabled you
Cannot sector anywhere
Thank you very much. I've been at Malibu
Okay excellent
Well, I'm at that age now all my friends are [getting] married and married people forget
How horrible it is being single they love to call me and complain about their coupling problems?
Always get you're so lucky being single
I get home my wife just starts nagging nag nag nag up like I have to nag myself I
Get home like what time do I call this?
Why don't I ever do the dishes?
Sometimes I think I don't appreciate myself
I
Haven't always been a comedian. I did some weird jobs. I used to clean houses, and I'll admit. I was tempted to steal I
Didn't steal cause the bible says thou shalt not steal, but nowhere does it say thou shalt not swap
I took a stereo laughter Walkman Kick a plasma screen left [an] [etiquette]
I like that should I am from Africa. I moved here ten years ago, and immediately I moved here
I heard a lot [of] British people talking about the
Financial crisis the Recession I'm from Africa. What are you maniacs talking about?
You call that a crisis if that's a crisis where is UNICEF?
Where is Bono?
Hahahahahahaha I am not seen one saying the uk concert
You can tell me it's a financial crisis when their planes flying over Birmingham tossing fish and chips out the window
It will be a financial crisis when their ads on television seeing this chap has to walk five miles a day
to get a bottle of WKD blue
And 100% you have got a financial crisis when India start opening [call] centers here
Can you imagine some poor guy mumbai [closes] [bag] ends up talking [to] a [brummie]?
Thank you so much
All right, then guys
I'm a little bit nervous about introducing you to add because he speaks a [bit] too much it gets me in a bit of trouble
But I [want] you to be nice to him
He's only 12 [years] old and he's been under my bed in a box for the last three months Covering dove I
read oh
Where have you taken me jane through all these people I told you this morning. We're auditioning. [oh], I see
There's alesha dixon once really come dancing my house in Solomon
No, Alicia's on citycam dancing day. I told you this morning Simon cowell porch. That's that's so so so so scandalous
hey stop messing about
Come on. We need you on with our rats, or get buzzed off, okay?
Who's that on the end not David Walliams you know David Walliams nice wander [turns] [to] did the Channels bas-relief David William?
Not Williams Williams is like the greatest comic genius of our time
now
Do you know he did comply [with] me?
Will that coffee with that [court] without sugar without sweetener? We got [just] to make a hot hot fire?
But the Lord decided today would be the day when we'd have no water. So we've got no choice, [but] to close it off
But you do know [here's]. [oh], [here's] there's no
Who's that there [they] watch David hasselhoff back?
Thank you from one with a boot are you saying that we're in the same room as hammond run. Oh
From cheaper by the Dozen - why didn't you say who's the funny-looking one on the end?
That's Simon cowell everyone knows Simon cowell. [he's] like the king of england. [he] wears his trousers up to here
If it what's his talent james, what's his talent? Whoa does he clean up?
[weekly] [know]
What [doesn't] wash, huh?
Is he washer?
Does he brush off?
no, he is a [crook] so you're telling me that he
Does nothing the boy does nothing?
laughing
I don't want to go in the fucking ball. Let go in the ball. This is run. Call me bubbles everybody does
Daily Pass today
I'd say we're going to be help working out. So anyone for your hands - again spread [your] [notes] - squat
Light [as] [a] baby or Martin Fowler's [price] [bar] [if] there are job hot would be punching oh
It's going to be here. Oh, man. You sure and just get just a boy fantastic. You know what I'm Gonna meet her hello
Oh, thanks. [I'm] [in] [a]
[jungle] beginning oh my God. I mean I saw this one. That's more even more one. Oh, whoa. Oh
oh
My goodness. Have you seen the Bacteria in here is awful isn't my right kim. Oh
Don't ask me
like a little oh
Hey, you can say you good evening. You speak English?
It's my knife come on. Hey. We say something now
What what why not? It's fantastic come on presents eat dirt. Yes? Oh
no, listen it English
Spanish free okay, okay?
Hey, Wendy listen to me. You think [I] am stupid. [yes]?
So well you don't want to speak anymore. No, okay, and now oh yes. I want you
[know] you know how to sing know what yes yes, yes
Well, we listen to you
It's about wow and you understand yeah
Music please we got to sing something for you. All right, okay? Don't look at [me] look at the audience like [that] feeling come on
Nothing wrong - you
Crying - okay?
All together okay, no, please come on this age. What is a good talent, okay? Go get that?
feeling
three four
amazing oh
