

Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

Published by Smashwords.com and Copyright 2011 CJ Hawk

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This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and strictly fictional. All persons, places or incidences are creative endeavors of the author. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.

This book is dedicated to all the moms in my life. We have laughed through the most diverse oddities and cried about the worst. We talk about our kids with hopes and wishes, and we complain about them like nobody's business. We are the most important people in our family's lives, yet we are often the most under appreciated. This book is to you. May you remember... that the grass IS NOT always greener on the other side.

Some suburban moms just can't catch a break. There is humor in raising kids, guinea pigs, soccer moms and Nutella. Toss in two new roommates to make ends meet, crazy daily chaos and a desire to have the green grass she once had, and you get a story about a mom that makes it all work out. A light, uplifting read, that any mom could easily relate to. Humor in all the right spots and just a touch of romance to give it all a happy ending.

Metaphorically speaking, we as women are our own worse critics. We need these things, so we can look in the mirror to say, 'ah, my grass is looking pretty green'. If it takes a box of hair color, a new outfit, or to shed a few pounds to make the grass seem green, then so be it. However, Maybelline Briggs isn't looking for the Holy Grail of Eternal Youth, just a way to get back on her feet through all the chaos.

Chapter One

Grass is always greener on the other side. It's the truth. Take a look around you. Doesn't everyone else's life seem like a double chocolate fudge sundae compared to your own some days? These days, in my life, just to have green grass would be a vision.

So today, I called in sick to work as I had only accumulated the one available sick day. My kids were at my soon to be ex's house, and I was in the lap of luxury. Basically, a quiet house, comfortable clothes, good movie and a snack. That is my lap of luxury these days.

Caught up in my movie, hidden away in my room, I barely had time to make it to the door before the second ring of the doorbell. I almost forgot, as the first ring of the bell caught my attention, today was the day I was expecting a delivery I needed to sign for.

I jumped up out of bed, where I had been cozily placed in between a heavy comforter and about ten plush pillows. I slid on the hard wood floor in the entryway from running so fast and slammed feet-first into the door. A huge bang echoed out.

From the other side of the door, the deliveryman hollered out. "Everything alright in there? Hello? Is anybody in there?"

I stood up fast and mentally shook off my fall, even though my hip was throbbing like a son of a bitch. "Fine. I'll be right there." I shouted out through the thick steel door. I opened the door, unprepared for the hunky man in brown uniform, and he obviously did not expect me; I smiled while my arms reached out for his electronic signing pad.

Although, I had no idea why he had such a look of disgust and amusement all wrapped into one single sentence. "Maybelline Briggs sign here." I signed and then he handed me my package and practically bolted down the steps from my front porch.

I, on the other hand, stood there with my package in hand and a quick thought crossed my mind. 'Oh shit!' I had opened the door in my granny underwear; my good ones were in the washer. My long faded gray tee shirt that doubled as a sleep shirt and had a few holes in bad places. Not to mention that the Nutella and I looked as if we had a chocolate spread war, and it won. The whole front of my shirt covered in small smears of chocolaty creamy goodness, which made me look like an unwholesome picture of goodness.

Just as I looked back up from inspecting my attire, to the sounds of the brown delivery truck starting up, I focused my attention to the hunky man in brown. Well, I caught the hunky man in his brown uniform, click off a picture or video of me on his camera phone. My mouth dropped open wide, and my eyes squinted. Not cool. There has to be some kind of unwritten delivery code for moms like me. Or perhaps, there was one... just an evil cruel one. That man should be ashamed of himself.

Since I missed the entryway mirror, right by the front door, due to my untimely fall, I missed this. My face was all red and splotchy, along with black streaks staining my cheeks from my waterproof mascara that obviously was not waterproof. Crap. Add to the fact that I was covered in a chocolate mess that could be seen as something else, granny panties and holes in fabric that expose parts of me that don't want to be exposed.

This would have to go down in history as a top 'go figure' embarrassing mom moment.

I slammed the front door closed and locked it. I leaned against the door and held my package tightly against my chest. I slowly sank to the floor. This was easy to do in my socks, seeing as my nine-year-old had just cleaned the wood floor with wood oil. The reason I biffed it so easily running in my socks to answer the door.

I had planned to clean the floor with vinegar based cleaner to take away the slickness, just as soon as my sappy love movie was over. I knew the ending since I had watched it a bazillion times, but darn 'Nights of Rodanthe' was playing on my little DVD player in my room, and I was missing the scene where she tells her daughter about her romance.

What I would give to have that opportunity, tell my daughter that I had met a man and fell in love. Conversely, you have to fall in love first. Instead, I sat on the floor, with the door to my back, holding my new hormone therapy drugs for my early onset of menopause.

The kids were not due back from their dads until late tomorrow night, and my new renters were supposed to be moving in this weekend. This was my first day alone, off from work in, I could not remember how long, and I had wanted to spend it alone in my room, with movies, Nutella and mini bagel chips.

I pulled my socks off and slowly stood on the oil slick floor and walked carefully back to my room. I needed to open the three bottles of pills I was to start taking along with progesterone cream. Since I was so bad at taking pills, I had decided to get a pill organizer. I was determined to start this next phase of my life out right. Unlike the last phase of my life called marriage and raising kids.

The next day, the sound of the doorbell came entirely too early. My first renter, a single woman in her twenties, was not due until ten. It was eight am. I was dressed and ready with cinnamon rolls in the oven and coffee brewing. I wanted to make her decision to rent from me a good one with the little touches of home. The living room had recent magazines neatly spread out on the front coffee table. The fresh flowers I picked from the local park late last night, neatly arranged in several vases throughout the house. Mentally, I had wondered what the fine would be for cutting your own fresh flowers from a city park, but I was on a budget. Not to mention the magazines belonged to my neighbor Irene. I was taking in her mail while they were on their second trip to Hawaii this year. She was a magazine hound, and they were not due back until Tuesday. Being Saturday, I figured I would put them out.

I took a quick look around. The house was clean and dusted for the first time in ages since Tag left me. Short for Taggard but we will get to him later. I took in a deep breath, brushing Tag out of my mind, just as I had wiped all the dust out of my house. This was an opportunity at a fresh start, and I was going to make it work. That, or turn my house over to the bank in the next few months for lack of mortgage payment. Something had to give, and renting out the upstairs bedrooms to strangers, was my give.

I opened the door, and my female ten am appointment wasn't standing there but a very attractive clean cut late forty something man stood in my doorway. Now I talked briefly on the phone with a secretary about this male renter. I had gotten all the information and ran a background check. However, I never gave the go ahead, nor had I met the man in person, yet.

"Hi. Can I help you?"

His smile was somewhat reserved as his mannerisms showed some unease. "Hi. I am Mr. Miller. I believe my secretary set up for me to come by and check out the room you have for rent?"

"Oh! Yes. Well, no actually, she did not, but yes, do come in. I was going to call her back yesterday. We kind of agreed on you coming today, but I never called, sorry. Come in. Come in!"

I sounded much more enthusiastic than I had planned. I needed renters bad. I was not getting too many responses from my ad in Local List It, at least not the kind of response from normal people. Then a realtor approached me about someone interested in buying my house. I broke down crying and told her my sob story, all while standing on my front porch. I think she was only looking for business, as the economy was bad and the rumor mill hit that I could not afford the house since Tag left me. She offered to help me find renters.

I watched him look around, and I was sure he put his nose to the air for a second. He let his face relax, and a huge smile crossed his face. I wanted to say it, but I did not. The man vaguely resembled the 007 Bond agent in Quantum of Solace.

With that quick thought, I realized my life had become one big movie rental scare. I compared everyone and thing in my life to a movie I watched lately. Because that was all the entertainment going on in my life right now.

"Come in!" As if I had not said it, two times before. "I need to go pull some rolls from the oven. Can I offer you a cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee?"

He looked ill at ease suddenly then he smiled. "I'd like to take a quick look at the room first. If you don't mind. I have to meet the contractor back at my place in about an hour. If I don't like the room, then I have another place to check out."

"Sure. Sure. Let me grab the rolls." I practically ran into the kitchen, turned off the oven, grabbed the hot pads and yanked the rolls out of the oven. My stomach growled at me from the smell. I ran back to the entry way, all but the last few steps that would land me in visual view of my potential renter and took a few slow easy strides as if I was a totally put together landlord. Which I wasn't.

"Follow me." I led him upstairs to where the four bedrooms resided. I was offering the master bedroom and the Jack and Jill room to the renters. I had planned to offer the master to the woman who was due at ten. Although she had wanted an office space, seeing as she was an airline flight attendant by trade and a blog writer by night, so she wanted a second room as an office.

I spent all last week, explaining to the kids; this was not an option anymore but a necessity. If we wanted to continue living in this house, we had to rent out the extra rooms. Kaitlin, my oldest at thirteen was not thrilled, but she was already living in the basement bedroom. Mikey my nine-year-old had been bugging me for years to have the other basement bedroom.

Seeing as the entire basement was finished nicer than the upstairs I figured we would all live down there while we rented the upper bedrooms. The basement already had a wet bar equipped with sink and refrigerator. There were several neighborhood parties down there. The one small room left that had always been my craft room was now a makeshift bedroom for me. I had no other choice. I did not want the kids downstairs and me up with total strangers renting rooms in our house. Although, I had done as thorough of a background check as I could think of, and they had both passed with flying colors, I wanted to be cautious all the same.

I opened the door to the master bedroom first. It was at the top of the stairs. "This room is very large as you can see, and furnished. I don't know if you have a preference. The rent for this room is two hundred higher." I watched him step in as I stayed standing out in the hall. He quickly scanned the room and then stepped into the master suite bathroom and was out in a second.

"Fine." That was all he said. Did he mean 'fine' I'll take it or 'fine' now show me the other room?

"Let me show you the other two rooms. They're what you call Jack and Jill rooms. They're joined by a bathroom. They are a bit smaller than your normal room size for an adult. We bought this house when the kids were really, small. They have been living in the basement rooms for quite some time now. Since my ex left me." My voice held a note of nervous tension in it, as I had not been alone in my house with a man since Tag. This man would knock Tag off the alpha charts. He had the presence and poise of a focused man. His good looks might have added to my nervousness.

I opened the door to the first room of the Jack and Jill rooms, flipped on the light switch, and I walked over and opened the roman shades on the one window. I turned and smiled like I was a game-show host. Boy, was I pouring on the Martha Stewart hospitality today.

For a brief second, his eyes had been scanning me. I would say checking me out, but I have not felt very cute lately. Divorce did that to me. Besides, my frumpy look of size fourteen soft, mousy brown hair that hit my shoulders and blue-green eyes that always seemed a bit narrow for my round face, put me on the average mom look alike list. Add to the fact that my thin lips always got thinner when I watched Angelina movies and wanted nothing more than her fake plumped up lips. At least, I was sure they were fake; it was either that, or she took a vacuum nozzle to her lips at an early age to get them to grow that big.

"As you can see it's a bit smaller." I walked into the bathroom, flipped on the light, and then did the same to the second bedroom as I had done to the first, still doing the game-show host thing with my hand. "As you can see these rooms are not furnished. However, the rent is less, and you get two rooms. Your secretary mentioned you needed office space. I have the fourth bedroom currently as an office for myself, but if you wanted the master suite, I could rent the other extra office room for... let's say another two hundred?" I was reaching it here. I had already upped the price I told his secretary over the phone by two hundred. The lady renter wasn't willing to pay that much so I figured first come first serve.

"Fine." He turned and flipped off the lights and walked out to the hall and went right into my fourth bedroom, the office. I quickly followed, as that room was a mess.

"I haven't had a chance to clean it out. If you want to rent it, then I will." I caught the way my body felt when he walked by me and realized the wahoo dungeon full of cobwebs had a bit of a tingle going on between my legs. Not to mention, I was physically sweating and my lips tingled. This could be a hard thing, renting to a man who looks as good as him. Then I gave myself a mental slap of reality as he turned towards me, catching my kinked smile.

He flashed a smile and said that one word with such alpha male tone to his voice. "Fine." There he was again looking around, looking at me rather odd. Then he smiled, and I melted a bit. He had a warm sweet smile with a dimple, and his eyes went from all serious and stern, to sweet and innocent, when he smiled. Besides, the character of his tanned face and crystal blue eyes made this woman in her forties melt into the floor like a leftover chocolate Easter bunny on a hot summer day.

"Fine." I didn't know what else to say. I already melted into a molten mess of liquid chocolate on the floor.

"Fine." He did it again. One word and I was totally, clueless as to what he wanted. However, that was me with men, clueless.

We stood for a few seconds just looking around at whatever but not at each other. Then he spoke up. "I've got at least a few months I need to rent while they renovate my house. Nevertheless, I will be happy to pay whatever lease you are looking for. I'll take the master and this office. I just need a place to set my laptop and quiet place to work on weekends. My secretary will have my things delivered and set up this afternoon if that is alright." I watched him whip out a check from his coat pocket and a nice looking writing pen.

"Fine. Just make it out to May Briggs. Short for Maybelline but all my friends call me May." I put my hand out for a handshake, and he looked a bit off. "Handshake is as good as a contract in my book. Your secretary told me she would get me the signed contract."

He shook my hand, and it felt nice. Firm strong grip but he did not grab my hand too hard.

Then before I could stop myself, the inquisitive part of me spoke up, possibly - almost breaking the fine financial deal I was swindling. "Let me ask you one thing if you don't mind. Why rent a room in a house with kids when you obviously could afford to rent a luxury suite at a hotel?"

He smiled but looked to be thinking. It took him a second to answer me. "Now those places are a waste of money. I wouldn't be a successful business owner if I just threw my money around, now would I?"

"I suppose not." I replied in kind. However, I knew what I was charging wasn't that much of a savings compared to a month or two at a hotel live-in suite. "So listen, I have one other renter coming. She is a very attractive flight attendant. Since I have kids, there is to be no, how shall I put this, no hanky-panky."

A light male laughter filled the room that made me realized how much I had missed that. "No hanky-panky. Scouts honor." He smiled and finished writing out his check.

I gawked at the amount while he took my reaction and quickly explained himself. "That's first and last month's rent plus a month for a deposit. That is what you wanted correct?"

"Uh. Well. I was only looking for a month's rent but since I'm new at this, I guess that is the standard."

"I do believe it is." He smiled at me with a look of serious interest. I smiled with the look of a red blush on my face and a frog in my throat. I was a nervous mess around this man. His blue eyes seemed so incredibly inviting as did his strong arms and the sound of his voice when he talked. Perhaps, I was in a magical fairyland, and would wake up to the sound of my ten o'clock ringing the doorbell. Instead, Mr. Miller walked towards me and held his hand out to suggest I walk on ahead of him. It was a gentlemanly thing to do, one that I had not had done to me in a long time. In fact, my ex - Tag, didn't do a damn thing gentlemanly in a long time, just the opposite.

As I escorted Mr. Miller out my door, I handed him his house key and said good-bye. I locked the door and practically wanted to faint. I could officially quite my part-time job at the Mega Food Warehouse serving samples every Saturday and Sunday from ten am to six p.m. I was tired of never having a weekend to myself when the kids went to their dads on weekends. Calling in sick this Saturday had just been officially well worth it as I kissed the check he gave me and waved it around in the air, while dancing, all the way over to my purse and into my wallet.

Chapter Two

Renter number two was late, two hours late, and she came with several pink travel bags. Therefore, I guess she was renting without seeing after all.

Only one problem, she was very upset that she did not get the master suite. In addition, that she would have to furnish the Jack and Jill bedroom. Her voice had a helium sound to it but what she lacked in voice her body and looks made up for it. She was very attractive. She was easily five feet nine inches and had long brown hair with highlights. She had a set of falsies on top, but the rest of her looked very fit.

I quickly printed out a contract with her, and she got me down by a hundred dollars seeing as she did not get the master suite. I did not argue too hard seeing that I just got so much more from Mr. Miller.

"Jolene." That was her name. Jolene Smith. "I had a hard time finding any history on you and the social security number you gave me is to a Janet Jolene Smith. That you?"

"Oh silly me." Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "Yes. That is my name, but I have gone by Jolene for so long. All my credit cards and my bank account is in the name of Janet Smith, but they know I go by Jolene. Oops."

"No problem. So sign here and I need first and last month's rent."

She signed but the check she handed me, was already been made out for a hundred less and only one-month's rent. She might be trouble.

"I'll write you a check for the last month deposit after I get settled in for a day or two and see if I like living here." She smiled seductively at me as if she was flirting, and I was not too sure about this bubbly one. She was ranking right up there with the reality TV make believe women I usually wanted to gag over their reality to mine. However, if I got her to rent, I would only need to work the one part-time job versus the three part-time jobs I had been working. Tag owed me several months of child support, so I had quit paying the mortgage a while ago. I really needed this money. I needed to start spending more time in the evenings with the kids. The stress of the divorce was showing. I needed my weekends off from the Mega Food Warehouse, so I felt like I had some semblance of a life.

"Listen." Jolene spoke up but this time her voice was real low and seducing. When she whispered, she actually had a very sexy voice then. "I'll be gone most weekends on short flights. I am here during the week, but I do have a friend's house I might stay at when I am not out on flights. So don't worry about me too much." She said 'friends' like she meant friends with benefits.

"Alright." I did not think about renters coming and going odd hours. It might wake the kids and me up. "I need you to be here by midnight if you are going to stay the night, as to not disturb the kids, and I have a male renter moving in today. You will meet later. Additionally, not to be too forward, but I already talked with Mr. Miller, the other renter, how shall I put this nicely? No hanky-panky?"

She smiled at me and turned to walk down stairs. She hollered over her shoulder. "No panky. Would you be a dear and help me with my luggage? Then I'll need to go find a bed that is unless you have an extra bed somewhere."

"I have an extra twin set. Would that do?"

"I suppose for a while. Do you have an extra dresser, nightstand, or anything? I mean I had planned on a furnished bedroom."

I could see where she was coming from. "I'll dig around and see what I can come up with." I was practically at the bottom of the stairs, and then I saw her car loaded with stuff, through the front door. She looked like she was moving some technical equipment in black cases as well as all her pink luggage. All I could think of was how bad my back ached, from all the cleaning I did to get the place ready. I would need to take a long hot bath. Oh shit. I couldn't. The basement only had one bathroom with a shower, and the other bathroom was a half bath, located next to the bar slash kitchenette area. I got the half bath and the kids were sharing the bathroom that only had the shower, which I planned to use after they finished in the morning. I just realized I could no longer have my long hot baths. Damn.

The kids were due home any minute from their fathers. I had left Tag a voice message that he was officially several months past due on child support. If he could please, send home some money, any money. It would be nice to avoid any drama in front of the kids and new renters, but I was feeling the onslaught of full-on desperation.

Mr. Mark Miller had someone deliver and set up his room but did not arrive back himself. Jolene, on the other hand, had been busy all day in her room and just instructed me that she was installing a lock on both rooms as to keep all her stuff private and secure. I had not put thought into having locks on the rented bedrooms, and I wondered if I should be locking anything of mine up as well.

Tag showed up with the kids just as Jolene pulled up with her locks. The kids rushed in and kissed me then headed downstairs to the TV, computer or some other electronic form of entertainment. I got the impression that Tag had not gotten a computer yet for them to use at his place.

Tag looked good, no better than good. Just a year ago he was a pudgy middle waist dad who worked as a Dentist then came home and stared into some electronic or other. He let his looks go, and our romance followed right down with it. I chalked it up as marriage. He had a major lack of ambition as I had listened to him talk about writing a dental book for years and never saw him type or write one word down on paper. I put that idea of his right up next to; he would give me flowers for my birthday or anniversary. It just never happened.

Then one day he hired her, his dental assistant. Fresh out of college and all of twenty something. Legs up to her neck, perky fake tits, round bottom ass and not an ounce of fat on her. She was definitely single digits unlike my size fourteen. Sometimes I imagined if I just took the one and four in my size and added them together, I was a single digit too. Dream on.

One year later, Tag had dropped forty pounds of fat but beefed up a good twenty or so in the muscle department. He had white teeth, of course, what dentist doesn't, but I swear Botox and fake spray tan were mixed in there somewhere right along with his gray hair was gone. He looked all of thirty late instead of mid to late forty. Go get'em Tiger, I mean Tag.

I wasn't bitter. Well, I was, but I was not going to show it for the kids. Besides, the shine and lust went away a long time ago. I was focused on raising kids and managing the house and working part-time. I stopped focusing on Tag years ago when Tag wouldn't give me the time of day, let alone a decent orgasm.

Oh! Now watching Jolene flirt with Tag, from the front window, was hilarious. She was bending over in front of him. He was eyeing her like a piece of candy. Now, she is practically squeezing her tits together in her two sizes too small pink tank top. Oh now look at this. She just handed him the locks and batted her eyelashes. I did not think she was that good.

My eyes followed their charade inside as I had stood in the open front door. Tag's overly hyped up excited voice bounded right in the front door along with him. I hadn't seen him this excited since I ok'd him to buy a two seater red sports car for him to drive to work and back in. "Hey May. You never told me you had a sexy new roommate. I've got some cash for ya sugar, and then I need to put these locks on your roomies door."

I gawked. Mouth open, eyes wide and I think I just gagged on a hairball. That man never, never did honey do's or fixed anything in this house in over thirteen years. I either did it myself, usually taking more than once to do it, or hired someone.

Tag just winked and pulled out his wallet and a wad of hundred-dollar bills. He started to count out and stopped at four. Four hundred-dollar bills did not cover the mortgage, the credit cards or could even come close to constituting child support for the last several months. Mind you, we were still in negotiation with the lawyers, but I was thinking closer to a two thousand a month for the two kids and bills, and I was thinking cheap. Not to mention he cashed out and maxed out our house with a second mortgage then disappeared over several months ago with his long-legged assistant. I had to wonder how all that was panning out.

I didn't want to make a scene so I pocketed the cash and smiled. I would leave him a message later that this was not child support, just a friendly gift of cash for me to feed our children.

As Tag ran up the stairs, he turned and stopped at the landing and winked at Jolene then sprinted up the last few steps, I was sure I had a hairball to gag up. He was like a completely different man around these younger women.

"You didn't tell me your ex was so handsome." There was that sexy voice. I wondered if she had an on-off switch that went with that voice. When she talked low and soft, it was sexy. When she talked normal, it was like talking after you take an inhale from a helium balloon.

"Yeah. He's sexy alright." The sarcasm oozed from my voice, but she did not seem to notice. "Listen Jolene, I don't have an issue with the locks, but you will have to replace them with regular doorknobs whenever you move out. Otherwise I will have to take the money out of your deposit." Oh that's right. She has not paid me a deposit yet.

Tag hollered over the rail. "Babe, grab me a cordless screwdriver will ya?" He was looking at me, but he had not called me babe in over nine years, and Jolene was the one he was helping. I smiled and walked away. I knew exactly where the cordless screwdriver was, and he did not. In fact, he had no idea where anything in this house was, because he had not fixed a darn thing or lifted a tool for our entire marriage.

I started working on dinner for the kids and me. I had marked our shelves already where our food was and left an empty shelf in the pantry for each renter, along with a shelf each in the fridge. The basement fridge was too small for a lot of regular food, so I would have to split up our cold stuff. Long gone are the days of buying three gallons of milk at a time. I had a feeling, I would be doing lots of late-night convenience runs for milk.

Jolene popped her head in first. "Smells good. Tag wants to know where the drill is." This time her voice was helium.

"Go check the garage. Dinner is not included in rent, so I only made enough for the kids and me." I said it nice as could be, but mentally I was thinking snarky.

"That's alright. I'm on a diet any ways. I have a few pounds to lose."

Where. Off of her big toes. I really hated women who did that. Lived a single-digit life and talked about losing pounds, as if it truly needed to happen.

Chapter Three

Mr. Mark Miller, a.k.a. 007 Bond, showed up to the house around a quarter to midnight. I had mentioned that he needed to be in by midnight, but I seriously thought that Jolene would be my issue. I was sitting in the kitchen going over bills and trying to figure out what place next I could borrow, steal or rob to make the basic ends meet. The four hundred Tag gave me was enough to get me by for gas, kid's lunch and a few groceries and essentials we desperately needed. My checks that just came in from my three part-time jobs were going to cover, water, electrical, trash, cell phones and cable all of which were behind a month. Poof! Like magic, those paychecks were gone.

However, as I was making a new budget with my renter income, less my not working as much I knew I would still fall short until Tag started paying more money. I was deep in thought until I heard him clear his voice. I never heard his Volvo pull up or his key turn or door close, let alone hear his dress shoes on my hardwood floors. That would be because he took them off.

He was standing there looking exhausted, his tie loose, hanging around his crisp white work shirt. An expensive looking navy colored jacket over his arm along with his work shoes in hands. He stood there looking sexy as all get out; in his gold toe black socks, matching navy slacks, white crisp shirt and loose tie, and a smile that made me melt into a chocolate puddle on my tiled kitchen floor.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late." He whispered. "I was hoping not to wake you, but you're up." He pulled out a chair and sat down next to me. I closed my laptop and shuffled all my bills, mostly past-due notices and paperwork off into a pile, then flipped them over so he couldn't see.

"You have to work late on a Sunday?" I smiled back with my no makeup face, hair in a scrunchie and my big white cotton robe, which Tag bought me on the only vacation trip we ever took to an exotic island. Then the kids happened along and quite frankly; this fourteen-year-old spa robe was starting to look like a thrift store leftover. However, I didn't think Mr. Miller cared. He was staring into my eyes and smiling. It felt nice.

"Actually, I was at my house most of the day tying up loose ends, and then there was an emergency meeting that I had to take via Skype with a client. By the way, my secretary Gina was the one that set up my room and clothes, brought the food in and sometimes on weekends she might have to swing by when I am working in the office upstairs."

"Gina? Is she the one I have been dealing with on the phone?" Unfortunately, with all the activity, the whole day had been a blur and the only woman I remembered was a late forty something, very professional-looking woman who went about her business in complete silence and was out within two hours. All of which, in that time, I was dealing with helping Tag install Jolene's bedroom locks because he truly was clueless in that sense. Helping the kids find the loose guinea pigs, Hanson and Gretel. Then to find out at the last minute from Mikey, my nine-year-old, he had a weeklong project due tomorrow, Monday, at school. He hadn't started and needed supplies.

"Yes. She's my secretary but really she runs the company. She is incredible. In fact, she is the reason I'm here renting from you. She just inherited her niece and nephew from her sister who passed only a month ago. Long story and I'm sure you're as tired as me. I'm just going to grab something light to eat and head upstairs. Sorry to have disturbed you." He quietly got up and set about the kitchen going through the shelves, looking for his food. I stood up and showed him where his shelves were and his shelf in the fridge was. He smiled and thanked me. He grabbed a few things and headed up stairs with a very quiet good night over his shoulder.

I sat back down and thought how strange it was to have a man in the house that wasn't Tag. It had taken a serious adjustment when Tag left, although he wasn't really a participating member of the household, nonetheless, it was an adjustment. But somehow, Mr. Miller's presence filled a void that happened over a long time. It felt so nice to have someone to spend a moment with in the evening hours. I had to wonder how much time he would be spending here and how that would affect the kids. Would they interpret his presence as something else or would they see him for who he is, our renter? As usual, I found myself over thinking the whole process of having a grown man in the house and how everyone would interact.

As I shoved all my paperwork and laptop into my briefcase, an old messenger bag, I thought about what he said. 'She is the reason I am here'. Now I could see that in several ways. She found the ad. He had workers running in and out of his house. He needed quiet. However, would he expect that here? Sometimes sure. On the weekends or nights that the kids are gone. However, the main floor of the house was often the central hub for the kids and their friends. I mentally began to realize that the basement was going to be the central hub for them, and I should mention to the kids that having their friends here all the time was going to have to stop. It was bad enough I refused to feed their friends in the last few months, not that I had a lot to offer but nonetheless, we all had major changes to go through. It was sink or swim time, and in the last month I had to finally open up to them about what was going on without making Tag out as the enemy.

Then I remembered I had not taken my menopause supplements for the day and not that they had resolved some of my major menopausal issues, my doctor told me they would help. I was holding out faith. Because if I had another hot flash in front of a room full of people, I was going to cry. Not that I didn't cry a lot these days any ways. However, anything that could help me feel a bit more normal though this process would be great.

The next morning, Monday, came too early. It always does. No one wants to get up and go to school. I don't want to go to work, and the guinea pigs were already squawking for fresh veggies from their cages, which I recently placed them on the party bar counter top. No more parties, just squawking pigs, which I could hear from my bathroom as I had bypassed them this morning to take care of myself first for a change.

My new hours at my original oldie but goodie part-time job, which I have held for the last five years since Mikey started full time kindergarten, had allowed me to alter my hours to a ten to three shift. This would give me about an hour in the morning, after they caught the bus to school, to mentally be alone.

As soon as I got out of my bathroom, dressed for work and my hair and make-up done, I went to the kid's rooms. This is where the real Monday morning struggles begin. From Kaitlin was the typical. "Why did you not wake me up earlier? I have nothing to wear. I hate Mondays. Can't I stay home?" And my most favorite one that has not changed over the years. "Where are my shoes?"

Mikey on the other hand, was usually chipper in the morning, except for Mondays. They still seemed to set him in a bad mood. I always expected it and tried not to take it personal, but it still happens. His only problems were minor. Usually he made it to the kitchen before me while he stared at cartoons, as he ate his cereal. However, we were out of his favorite cereal, and you would have thought someone died in the house.

By the time I was handing them their lunch checks for the week for school and locking the door behind them, I wanted to collapse. Instead, I headed into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee and a bagel with Nutella to eat in peace and quiet. That did not last long.

"Your kids sure make a bit of a racket." Her helium voice was in full tilt. She poured herself a cup of my coffee, which I figured was ok as it was a twelve-cup maker. Then she went to reach for my bagels, and I wasn't sure if she was just groggy, or if she was going to be a food thief in this roomie situation. This morning I was willing to let it go.

"Sorry. Mondays are bad. The rest of the week always goes much quieter or smoothly." Not really, but I would have a long talk with the kids and post a few friendly reminders to them in their bathroom and bottom of stairs to be quieter. It could help to put a reminder on the fridge also about not eating roommate's food; hopefully it would serve as a reminder for Jolene as well.

Then as the cloudy grey sky parted to bright sunshine and illuminated the kitchen as the same time he walked in - 007. Mr. Mark Miller. The whole room went quiet. He picked up a cup and signaled to the coffee maker. "May I?"

Both Jolene and I answered in a breathy tone together. "Yes." I was not too sure but Jolene seemed to be immediately taken with Mark as I was. Seeing as this was the first time they had met. I had a feeling, there was already hanky-panky going on in Jolene's panties as were mine. Her slinky blue robe did not hide any of her excitement that poked through on her falsies. I wanted to bop her upside the back of her head. Instead, I did my normal hostess game.

"Mr. Mark Miller, meet your other roommate, Miss Jolene Smith." He reached out to shake her hand and the flirting began. On her end only.

After watching Jolene parade and flaunt herself to Mark, I excused myself out to the patio deck. The sun was shining, and the spring weather was feeling more like summer. I took a large gulp of my oversized coffee mug and a big bite of my Nutella bagel. Nothing like chocolate and caffeine in the morning, to get a woman in menopause going!

It didn't take Jolene long to pop her head out on the deck. "I have to shower and then I have a flight out this afternoon. I got a schedule change, and it looks like I'll have weekends off for a while. Just so you know; I like to sleep in on weekends so if the kiddos could be quiet I would be grateful. Gotta run. See you in a few days." Like a breath of fresh air, she was gone. At least as soon as she left, I felt like I could breathe fresh air. That helium voice was obnoxious, which only meant one thing; Mark had evacuated the kitchen after meeting one very unique Jolene Smith.

I had just finished my bagel and half my coffee when Mark popped his head out looking incredibly professional in his expensive looking pressed suit. "Coast clear?"

I laughed. I knew exactly to whom he was referring to. "Yup. Coast is clear."

He stepped the rest of the way onto the deck with a fresh cup of coffee and held it up with a smile. "Thank you, by the way. I meant to ask how three of us were going to share one coffee maker. My Gina offered to get me one of those single cup contraptions but really, if you don't mind sharing?" He said it so sweetly I melted. Although, the way he said 'my Gina', I had to wonder if him and his secretary had an office thing going on. Not that it was any of my business.

"Absolutely. We can share." I watched him sit down at the patio table chair next to me. He pulled out his data phone and taped a few keys then slid it into his inside coat pocket.

"Your kids are hilarious, by the way." He smiled and took a long sip of coffee.

"Gosh. I'm sorry did they wake you?"

"No. I don't know if you know this. The vent in the master bathroom carries all the noise from the basement. I just hope my electric shaver and morning news radio show don't do the same."

That was odd. I hadn't heard a peep out of him. However, those darn guinea pigs were squawking really loud. "I didn't hear you or Jolene. Sorry, Mondays are always the worse. I'll have a talk with them and post a few reminders that they need to keep it quiet. All of this has been a huge adjustment for them."

"Don't worry. That's the most entertainment I've had in a while. If you can't hear me, then I won't worry about it. However, there was a really strange noise that didn't sound human." I watched him take a sip of coffee and found myself staring at his lips, wondering what they would feel like if they touched mine. Wondering what a kiss in general from a man like him would be like.

"Guinea pigs. Hansel and Gretel. We've had them for three years. They are literally pigs, and if I don't feed them first, they squawk. Sorry."

"Guinea pigs? That makes sense. I had a guinea pig when I was little. Parents didn't want to mess with a dog. I always wanted a dog." He took another sip, and I stared at his handsome features for a second. Wondering why he didn't have a dog now. He answered my mental question.

"Then college and work and now my business keeps me so busy that if I got a dog, I would just be paying someone else to be with it half the time. Paying someone to walk it. How come you don't have a dog?"

I smiled and took a second to think about my answer as I drank the last sip of my coffee. "Tag, my ex, is allergic and quite frankly, getting him through dental school, the kids and then his dental business all while I worked, I guess I figured we wouldn't have the time either."

He shook his head in acknowledgement. Then we both sat there quietly listening to the birds chirp as we smiled at each other. I was done and had to leave in a bit, but I just couldn't get myself up to leave. It felt so nice to just sit beside a man.

Of course, I cannot handle too long of a silence, so I spoke up. "What time do you normally get into work?"

"The beauty of owning your own company is you make your own hours. The downfall, the clients might want you up until midnight. Sorry about that again. If I think I'll be that late I will have Gina pack me a bag and stay at a hotel."

I scoffed. "Don't be silly. You were incredibly quiet. I think, as long as you call and let me know, then I won't freak out. I'll call Gina with my cell phone that I keep by my bed. Sounds like Gina is an extremely well trained personal assistant." Thinking personal should be emphasized here. Must be nice to have someone do all that for you like a personal maid.

He laughed lightly then looked off into the distance for a second. "I almost lost her. Gina. She quit on me when the kids came into her life. She said it was just too much to work round the clock for me and have teenagers to deal with."

I couldn't help myself but to laugh out loud then let my hand rest on his arm. "Well if anything, living here, while your house is under construction, you will get to experience firsthand chaos. You missed quite a bit of it yesterday. Between my ex flirting with Jolene, me helping him put Jolene's locks on her doors and my son's oops, I forgot a major project incident. Oh, I almost forgot. The pigs got loose downstairs and chewed up the game station cables. All that in under five hours. It was a thrill a minute." I chuckled to myself, seeing the humor now. However, I did not see any humor then.

Just then, his eyes cast down to where my hand lay, and his eyes wandered up to mine with a full-on smile of approval. I just about fainted right there. However, I carried that look from his eyes with me the rest of the day.

Chapter Four

'I will survive, yah, yah, yah.' Diana Ross's I will survive song replayed in my mind, over and over, as I stomped downstairs to my extremely tiny bedroom. An eight foot by eight foot room, mind you, starts to look like a prison cell when you feel like it is the only place you can escape to.

Jolene our new renter is a talker. Talk. Talk. Talk. In that helium voice of hers. She is also a know it all. Know. It. All. She is constantly telling me what I am doing wrong, how I can do something right, and she even had the audacity to tell Mr. Miller, or Mark as I was mentally calling him now, how to do something correctly. At least, she told him in her sexy voice. I mentally laughed out loud at the memory of his direct blasé response. "Is that right?" He stared at her and smiled.

Kaitlin took to Jolene like a new BFF. They talked fashion, movies, social networks and diets like it was nobody's business. I have never minded listening in on Kaitlin and her friends gab for hours. It was actually soothing. However, Jolene's voice was nails on a chalkboard when my menopause was flaring and just the fact that Jolene was twenty nine, hanging with a thirteen-year-old seemed wrong. I could feel my blood boil when she was anywhere near me screeching with her voice. She could be talking about kittens and cupcakes and her voice would send me cringing.

With all the recent chaos of new renters, adjusting to additional people in the house with polar opposite personalities, I was starting to feel it. The massive stress of a constant headache. The kind where your head is in a vise and you can do nothing to loosen the tension.

It did not help that Tag was again brushing me off for money to pay household bills. The mortgage was just a few months away from falling into collections. I paid some every month and kept an open line of communication with the bank. However, their collection calls were still coming and certain bills I could pay a minimum or pass on for another month or two. Things were catching up to me. Again

By now, I had thought for sure Tag would have coughed up some of the fifty five thousand he borrowed from the home equity line. I was trying really hard to keep it civil between us, but I could see a blow-up on the horizon. The lawyer kept telling me to hang tough and squeeze what I could out of him until all parties agreed on the divorce arrangements. With each passing day, I was willing to take less and less.

I constantly rethought how stupid of me it was to go back to only one part-time job. The money Jolene and Mark had paid got me caught up a bit, but I always was running out of money before the month was over. I realized that wanting my weekends free was selfish and if money from Tag didn't come soon, I would have to beg for my old job back. As far as working evenings with a day job that was out of the question. I needed that time to keep the kids on track, let them play sports again and make sure Kaitlin didn't get into any more trouble.

Just this morning, I busted her trying to light up one of my emergency cigarettes. I had forgotten all about them and hadn't smoked in years. Then I walk in her room with her laundry and bam. There was my thirteen-year-old daughter trying to light up a cigarette. I looked at the box and recognized the old brand as mine. I didn't even think that brand was around anymore, and I glared at my daughter. "Not smart, for a smart LITTLE GIRL!" I shouted with major emphasis on the last two words. She shocked me back by throwing a shoe at me, probably one she will be looking for tomorrow, and screaming. "I am not a little girl. I'm practically a woman. Ask Jolene. She'll tell you how sophisticated I am."

I screamed back some unrecognizable mom antics that only got an eye roll with her hands over her hears screaming a 'la-la-la' back to me. I grabbed the cigarette box, the lighter she must have found for my candles from my room and the cigarette she was trying to light. I scrunched them into a ball into my hand and stomped upstairs. Thinking that was real mature. On both our parts.

I promptly stomped all the way to the trash can in the garage, threw them in, slammed the lid and stood there staring. Shit. I really wanted a cigarette right now. So, like a flaming idiot, I reached in and pulled out the scrunched up box, the lighter - which I justified I needed for my aromatherapy candles anyway and hid them in the waist band of my work skirt. It looked lumpy, so I pulled my blouse out and let it hang over my skirt. In exactly ten minutes, they would be off to school, and I would hide out in my bathroom downstairs and smoke one. Just one. For old time sake. I needed it. Desperately.

As I stealthy walked back into the house, down the hall towards the kitchen where I had last seen Mikey eating his cereal on the floor, just inches from the TV. Instead of watching TV, he was stealing one of two, of my five-dollar bills I had in my wallet. I could have bitten a chicken heads off with the amount of rage and disappointment in my kids at that moment. Instead, I stood in the hall as I watched Mark step into view, clear his throat and approach Mikey calmly. The calm I was not feeling at that moment.

"Young man." His voice was a thick timber of seriousness. Mikey looked up at him petrified as his hand was still holding my wallet open above my purse. I watched Mark's hand slowly come down on Mikey's shoulder as he looked into his eyes. "Do you think that's a good idea? Perhaps you should ask your mom first?"

Mikey looked to have tears in his eyes as I stood quietly by, looking from afar, from around the corner, out of his site, but I had the whole image in my plain view. Mikey's voice was definitely shaken as he answered. "No sir. I mean yes sir, I should ask first."

Mark's deep serious voice rebounded through the kitchen as my heart melted a bit for my roommate and the fact he was replacing Tag as a father. Tag should have been the one to catch him and reprimand him but even Tag might overlook it as a kid thing. Leaving me to deal with it as always. However, watching Mark correct my son's bad decision and listening to his voice, I was putty in his hands.

Then he said something so male bonding that I think he hooked Mikey as well. "Well, son, let's just keep this between the two of us. Your mother has enough on her plate as it is. You're the man of the house now and need to make mature decisions in your actions. Think twice, act once. Do I make myself clear?"

Mikey shook his head once, and a soft repeat of 'yes sir' echoed out a few times. Mark patted his shoulder and took out his wallet. He spoke quieter this time as he took out a five and handed it to my son. "How about I lend you the five you so desperately needed that you resorted to stealing and you get to polish my shoes tonight?"

Mikey snagged the five and shook Mark's hand. "Deal." He sounded excited to have earned the five instead of the dread, I was sure he would feel later for stealing it, when I would confront both kids for the missing money.

By this time, I cleared my throat and walked into the room. "Mikey. Get your bowl and put it in the sink. TV off. Shoes on and you've got two minutes before you and your sister need to head to the bus stop. So chop-chop." I went about the kitchen as if I had not seen anything. But Mark knew. The way he eyed me and smiled. The way he poured his coffee then drank it smiling at me.

One minute later, Kaitlin came up. She rudely grabbed her backpack with her music blaring in her ears and slammed a note down in front of me. She yelled at her brother. "Let's go squirt!" Then walked out the front door. Mikey yelled after her as he ran to catch up. "I'm not a squirt. I'm the man of the house!" The sounds of 'are not' versus 'are too' echoed out on the front walk.

I picked up the note that Kaitlin had slammed down. In her lip-gloss, she had put a pair of lips on the paper, and with a bright pink pen she wrote the single word every parents wants to hear from their kid, hates to hear from their kid long after and dreads dealing with the actions that led to the word. SORRY. However, deep down, I was glad she wrote it.

I flipped it in Mark's direction as he was looking inquisitively at me and showed him. He gave me an eyebrow raise and a smile that was so incredible sexy; the mess of the morning was melting away.

He handed me a cup of coffee prepared just the way I did every morning, which made my romantic heart pitter-patter. Tag had never made me my coffee. "Thanks." I blushed and thought of how to tell him I saw the whole Mikey incident.

"I hope I didn't overstep my boundaries. I remember the first time I got caught stealing from my mom's wallet. Boy did my old man let me have it. I guess I felt his pain and didn't want to add to any trouble. You seem to have your hands full this morning." I didn't ask but only assumed he overheard Kaitlin through the vent.

"No. We're good. Thanks for dealing with him." I let out a huge breath of air as I felt a heavy weight lift from my shoulders. I could get used to a man around the house that actually participated and interacted. I wouldn't lie by saying he was extremely easy on the eyes. However, just in what he handled for me this morning was huge. I took a sip of coffee and then set my cup down on the counter, reached for my purse and pulled out the five that Mikey had tried to steal. "Here."

He shook his head no and held his hand up in a stop sign. "Karma. I'm just paying it forward for when I was a kid. Someday, Mikey will be the one to walk in on his son stealing cash, and he will get the fun deed of the man-to-man speech. Besides, he must have needed it if he was resorting to stealing. I remember my reason was the neighborhood bully kept stealing my lunch money." He shook his head in remembrance, then drank a long sip of coffee and smiled as he swallowed. I didn't think I could ever get tired of his debonair smile.

Like clockwork, in walked Jolene as soon as the kids were gone. I mentally wished she was at work every morning so that Mark and I could have this time to ourselves. Her voice was soft and sexy this morning as she was trying to sell her wares to one particular man. The only man in the house and he still wasn't buying, which caused her to up her game. Two minutes into the flirting, and I cleared my throat and stood forward from leaning against the counter in amusement. Not that I liked watching Mark endure her flirtatious behavior but the way he always handled her was so amazing. "Jolene. Can I speak with you for a minute?"

She turned her back to Mark and smiled at me. As soon as her back was turned, Mark bolted out of the kitchen going the other direction from Jolene. Her voice was so soft and sexy I had to shake my head in amusement as she answered me. "Why sure honey."

"Look. Kaitlin and I had a bit of a disagreement this morning, and she mentioned that you told her she was sophisticated. Telling a thirteen girl that she's sophisticated can go many ways. One of which led her to try to smoke one of my very old forgotten cigarettes."

She looked around, and noticed Mark was gone. Her helium voice came back. "Oh my. Shoot. I was just trying to cheer her up. Some popular girl at school told her she was immature for not knowing what a BJ is, so I told her what it was, and that she wasn't immature, she's classy. You know sophisticated. Look I'll clear this up with her and get her to steer clear of cigarettes. Those things are nasty. You really shouldn't smoke you know. Causes nasty wrinkles around the lips, makes you stinky. Good lord. You have to be careful with what kind of example you are setting for her as a young woman."

And this, was coming from a woman in my kitchen, in a pink tank top two sizes too small that her falsies were cresting over the top, her pink lounge pants had the word 'juicy' on the back of her bottom, and she had been flirting with Mark and Tag, in front of my daughter, since she moved in. Ugh!

Where Jolene's back stood to where Mark exited the kitchen, was now his head popping back in with a smile and a thumbs-up sign. I melted, and as Jolene turned to see what I was smiling at Mark stealthy hid back around the corner before she saw him.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Jolene turned her attention back to me, and I smiled. "By the way, I don't know how I feel about you discussing sex terms with my daughter."

"Oh honey, you will want to thank me later. Ask Kaitlin what I told you. I think I grossed her out so bad it will be years before she wants to stick some boy's penis in her mouth. Sugar doll. I know how to make a man scream, but I don't want to see that precious daughter of yours doing what so many young girls are doing at such a young age. You will thank me later."

I kept that entire thought in mind. Kaitlin rarely spoke to me about questions of the sexual matter. I just figured she was still so young and immature. However, next year she would be in eighth-grade middle school, and the elementary game will change drastically. Maybe, Jolene's connection with Kaitlin could be a good thing. But just in case, I tossed in my two cents.

"Jolene. Perhaps when you have these types of conversation, you can give me a heads up. It sounds like you have my daughter's best interest at heart. She is still such a young woman. I appreciate you talking to her about cigarettes, seeing as we did not get very far on that. Just keep in mind that she is a very impressionable young woman, and we should be fine."

"I'll keep that in mind." She smiled coyly with a bit of a sneer to it. Mark walked back into the room with an air of confidence that made me internally laugh. He was good. No, he was better than good. He was awesome. He knew the time and place to say something and when to leave the room.

"Ladies. Can I make you breakfast this morning? Egg white omelet loaded with fresh vegetables and a side of fruit?" I looked at the clock and there was plenty of time. I was going to run by the store on my way into work, but now I was going to enjoy a meal cooked for me.

"Sounds great!" We both chimed in. Jolene's chime was far more seductive than mine. I just didn't have that flirty seductive gene in me.

Twenty minutes later, I was being served a plate full of food, a fresh coffee and a very sexy man who kept giving me the attention instead of Jolene. She gave up after three bites and claimed she had places to go and things to do. Mark looked at her plate of food and breathed 'what a waste' then pushed the plate off to the side.

I didn't think so. Since we got to sit alone at my kitchen table and talk right up until the last second I had to leave for work. I had not had a man make me breakfast and sit with me like that since before Tag and I were married.

He asked me questions and kept the focus on me, which was nice for a change. Most of my married life was about Tag; his dental school, his business, the kids and then occasionally in there was me. I told Mark about the lack of payment from Tag, the slow process of the divorce and the missing home-equity line of credit. He asked if I needed a loan to get by as he pulled out his wallet, and I caught a glimpse of several large bills in there. I put my hand on his arm and told him a nice polite 'that's ok'. We wrapped it up as I was now officially going to be late for work. We said our good-byes like good friends, and I headed out to my car. I drove the whole way to work, replaying my entire morning repeatedly with the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. I was hoping for a better week, but I would just take the day getting better.

And it did.

Chapter Five

Wholly Sha-zam Batman

Things were settling in. The kids took to our new roommates well. I had a feeling that things were getting better. I received my first child support check from Tag that was for all previous months due plus the next. Unfortunately, Tag had to sell his dental business to catch up. He was still working there, but he no longer profited from it, which caused legs to the neck assistant, to take a hike at warp speed. I saw that as a bonus learning lesson for Tag. One of many to come.

I didn't think that Tag's check was a sign that him and I would get back together soon. I wasn't really interested and Tag still had some growing up to do. The divorce lawyers seemed to be on track. Tag had actually asked if there was anything, he could do around the house to help in front of the kids and my hot new roommates. I think one to impress her and the other to man-up over Mark, who had been doing an awful lot around the house and with the kids.

After a long holiday weekend with the kids, Tag brought the kids back to the house. He was buffed up from a workout, recently sprayed tan, clean new haircut and very nice casual clothes for a Sunday afternoon. He proceeded to ask me if I needed anything fixed. This is coming from the same man, for our entire marriage, that anytime something broke, his automatic reply was, 'If you can't fix it, then find someone to do it for you'. I think those comments and records I kept over the years are the main reason that the house will be mine, without payout to Tag, once the divorce is done.

Tag was hanging around the house, much longer than usual. My roommates and I had been lounging around out back on the patio reading the Sunday paper and sharing a wonderful breakfast of quiche and fresh fruit that Mark prepared for us ladies. It was the third weekend in a row he had done this, and it was incredible. I was starting to enjoy the benefits of divorce. Then to have Tag hand me the check for so much money in front of everyone, I quickly excused myself to my room.

As soon as I got in the privacy of my tiny room, I did a dance that made me look like a guinea pig on dope. But heck, I was so excited for the money. I could get our mortgage and car insurance caught up. I could also make most of the bills for next month.

I decided I needed to get it into the bank as soon as possible, because it would not have been the first time a check from Tag did not clear. Lucky for me, I belonged to the only branch bank in town that was open from ten to three on a Sunday.

I got out of my Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and coffee cup pajama top and slipped into my typical mom attire. Denim capri pants, floral print tee shirt and white canvas tennis shoes. I stood in front of the mirror and examined the fact that I looked like the A-typical suburban mom that had put some stress weight around the lower belly region and what I was wearing was not doing a thing to enhance my looks.

Ten minutes later and a huge pile of clothes on my floor, I found a nice slimming black top and my black capris. For a glamour look, I slipped on a pair of silver hoop earrings, a bit more than just mascara makeup and my sexy sling back heels.

As I made an entrance to the back patio where everyone but the kids were still congregating, Tag gave me a low whistle and asked where my hot date was. Both my roommates gave me a 'you look nice' comment.

"Kids go downstairs?" Assuming they were still sitting on the couch absorbed into the TV that was still blaringly loud. I looked at Tag with the largest air of confidence I could. I wanted to say something like, you sorry you left me now. Instead, I got shocked.

"They took off to their friends. They said it's killing them not to see their friends on the weekend. So I think I'll start picking them up on Wednesdays and only have them one night on the weekend." I wanted to cry. My balloon of independence just shot down. I knew this whole divorce thing was too good to be true. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and want to see them but having them all to myself, every night of the week, is hard. I lived for my breaks on the weekends. If that wasn't enough, Tag was in for full shock value.

"I hope you don't mind, but I've asked your roommate out on a date this afternoon, as soon as she's ready to go." He looked her way, seductively. I looked her way with a seriously nasty glare. She took off for her room and that left Tag, Mark and myself. Mark, at this point seemed thoroughly amused. I was not.

"Listen Tag. I'm not exactly cool on this. Shit, our divorce isn't even final yet. But, what the hell. If you can go out with my roommate, you won't at all mind if I finally accept Ashton's invitation out." Ashton was Tag's high school friend and best friend right up until Tag left me for long legs. Then Ashton, quickly changed from brotherly niceties, to almost overkill on asking me out. I wasn't at all interested, so I insistently told him no. However, just to see the look on Tag's face right now, one date or two would be worth it.

"Whatever." Was just about all he could manage out. Still Mark sat at the patio table pretending to read his Sunday paper, but I could see the total amusement on his face.

I turned on my heels and left both of them sitting out there. I went to the kitchen phone and called both kids cell phones. Typical, neither one answered on the first call. I left them a message I needed to go to the bank and then get some shopping done. As soon as I hung up from the phone from leaving messages, Tag stood there looking at me.

"You look very nice and if you want to go out with Ashton, be my guest. I don't want to step on your toes by dating your roommate, but Shell just left me, and I'm lonely."

I tried not to smirk. "Who's Shell?" I knew who she was but ever since he left me, I have not acknowledged her name.

"Jesus, May. I figured now that she's out of the picture, I don't have to insult her anymore behind her back by calling her long legs to you."

Then I smiled. "You figured wrong Tag. The only name that woman deserves is slut or whore, but long legs in front of the kids was my compromise. To put a name or personal identification on her like she was a human being in front of the kids would only make her seem, human."

"I get it. You're still mad. But I thought we agreed that our marriage was at that point any ways." Of all the gull. I wanted to smack him.

"You might have made that decision Tag, but I really would have liked a say in whether or not we worked at saving our marriage and family."

He came up to me within inches and looked as if he was going to kiss me. I swallowed hard. I had not been kissed in I didn't know how long and a small part of me held feelings for Tag, especially now that he looked so good. He talked slow and seductive. "You want me back don't you, admit it. I'm hot now, and you want me back."

It wasn't spoken like a question. He said it like a statement. I looked at him in horror, but I held my reserve. Just then, I noticed Mark standing there with an amuse look with Tag's back to him, and he smiled at me seductively. I realized I didn't want Tag; I wanted a man like Mark. "Nope. Not really. And Tag, your breath smells like..." I motioned with my hand to shoo him away and covered my other hand over my mouth and nose.

He turned away pissed and looked right at Mark. Having no idea he was standing there through all this. He left the room stomping his feet like a toddler, all the way upstairs to my roommate's room.

With Tag and my roommate gone, kids at friends, and I was all dressed up to go out; Mark asked if I wanted to see a new art gallery showing of a friend of his. As tempting as it was, I needed my roommate and sanity. Dating, although be it casual, could put me in a conundrum. Mark, on the other hand, was most likely being polite and friendly. He seemed to hold enough cool sophistication to keep a nuclear reactor cool. Like I said, he reminded me of James Bond, the later one in recent movies. Cool, calm under pressure, sexy with every move and well adjusted. I, on the other hand, always felt like a bumbling mess around the man alone.

I thanked him profusely and asked for a rain check, but that I really needed to get the check in the bank and some things from the store. He took it as he took every crazy incident in the house that happened around him, as if it was no big deal.

The bank assured me the funds where there to cover the check. Mark gave me next months' rent as well, in cash, which I had planned on depositing but decided to use it for my shopping instead.

Now with several hundred in my wallet and dressed up to play like a well off suburban wife I could very easily fall into the trap of my old expensive name brand stores and higher-end grocery stores where they sold gourmet items and food that they don't make coupons for. Instead, I hit the dollar store first. I picked up several household essentials and a few silly things like a kite and children's bubbles. Then I hit the mega store Wally Mart and found that Sundays at this store brought out every crazy and obscene person one could imagine.

There was a man dressed like a woman in full beard; there was a pregnant woman with three kids under three, smoking a cigarette in the store. Which the manager was asking her politely to put it out as her three kids screamed in the cart for chocolate.

There was a woman who was double my double digits in spandex clothes that would not even squeeze on me; oozing out of her clothes, looking at clothes in the junior department, holding them up in front of herself and asking her daughter if she thought it would look good on her. Ok that one has crossed the line from mom and mentor to, even though I'm forty plus in years and way over forty plus in weight, I want to be just like you daughter, line.

Almost every aisle I turned, there were people with their carts parked cockeyed and in the middle of the aisle so it was nearly impossible to get by. These people were taking their sweet time getting things off the shelf, reading the label, putting them back to grab another one down and read the label. It's flipping spaghetti sauce people. Tomatoes, sugar and spices blended to a pulp and cooked to a temperature to put in a can or jar.

I decided that after the farting man in the produce department, it was time to go. I would rather shop at midnight then go through a Sunday shopping experience here. This experience is the very reason, well off folks, spend the extra money, shopping at the gourmet deli type stores.

I made it to a fairly short line that would lead me out of the store in hopefully the next ten minutes. I stared oddly at the man in front of me whose cart was filled with action figure toys in big plastic bulky packaging. I looked closer, and they were batman action figures. The kind, my son liked to collect, about three years ago. Then I looked at the man and his nine month pregnant belly, several day-old beard, blue tooth ear piece in his ear and dare I say it looked like he was wearing ladies jeans that were an inch too short. He turned to me with a smirk and the only word that popped in my head was 'predator'.

Why else would a grown man be buying all of the same action figures? Ok, maybe it wasn't the action figures that made that word pop in my head. He could be a collector. However, the word popped in there any ways and my half-decent smile went to don't you even, pervert look. That mom glare you give a man when he looks like he might molest little boys.

Now I was raised to not judge a man by his cover, but I was also raised to go with your gut instinct and if the first word and only word 'pervert' popped in your head around a man like that, you went on full alert.

He turned away, and I pretended to read a home magazine with my eyes really watching him, watching the little boy on the penny pony ride. Maybe the kid was his; I tried to calm my internal mother mode. Maybe they have a birthday party, and he's going to give all the action figures out as gifts to the guests.

Then as the woman rang him up, he was a few dollars short. He turned to me and smiled with his pervert smile, and the weird sensations he gave me increased, and he asked. "Mind loaning me a couple bucks lady?"

Was he freaking nuts? Yes, he was. He was a pervert, because I just saw the dad that grabbed the hand of the kid on the pony and walk away. Mind you, I had a couple hundred sitting in my purse, and if it was someone else, like an elderly person or mom with several kids, my money was spot on. However, this man needed to be arrested just for being near kids.

So I did the typical me thing. "I'm sorry. I don't have any cash." I smiled smugly and then he took up a few more precious minutes of my checkout time by asking other shoppers around us. I wanted to leave the cart and get out of the store and fast.

I looked in my cart and saw over an hour's worth of frustrating shopping sitting there and thought, what is a few minutes more?

By the time, the man behind me lent him the money, just to get the line moving, I was relieved. What I didn't expect was a lecture from the man behind me when I pulled out my wads of hundreds to pay my bill. With all my tempered down anger, I let it rise just a notch, so I could turn to him with my hands on my hips, squared shoulders and head high. "I don't loan money to strangers, let alone perverts like that man. You can kindly keep your comments to yourself, sir."

"Don't sir me; you freaking bitch. With that kind of cash, you could have bought all of our groceries." Now he was just bringing attention to me, my money and what I was buying. Not what I wanted.

I mentally begged the lady to hurry up and check the hundreds I gave her as I busily put my own plastic bags, she packed way too much stuff in, into my cart. I took my change and started to pocket it, and then I pulled the five ones the man lent the pervert and turned to him. "Here you go SIR! However, if you must know, I'm five months late on mortgage, left with a huge credit card debt from a cheating husband and the cash I am using is from a person who rents out my old master bedroom while I live in an eight foot by eight foot old storage room in my basement."

As he was almost about to take the cash, half the store was staring at us. "Geez lady, I'm sorry."

I put the money in my wallet he refused to take, probably because half the store was staring at us, and I added salt to his wound. "By the way, there is one thing a mom knows and that is a pervert. That man was a pervert, and you most likely just bought a toy for him to lure a child with." I looked at the young boy in the man's cart and smiled at the kid then looked at the man with a flat lip smile. "Have a nice day."

Chapter Six

When I finally got home, it was well past one o'clock. Mark was out back tossing the ball with my son; my daughter was talking on the phone with her girlfriend, waving a check from the Schmidt's from down the street for last two weeks of babysitting. I unloaded an armful of groceries and household items on the island counter, and just as I was about to go out and get the rest, in came my son and Mark. My daughter hung up her phone and all three offered to go get the rest of the groceries. I was floored. In a good way. I had given up long ago, asking for family help to unload the groceries and with what looked like Mark's insistence the kids jumped up gladly. It was strange the way they were taking to him. Almost like a substitute father, which made me sad thinking about when he has to move back to his place, it will be a house without a father figure again.

A tap on my shoulder from Mark and an armful of groceries snapped me back to reality from my world of fantasizing that this was my life now. "Where would you like us to set these?"

I smiled and pointed to the far counter by the pantry. The huge pantry, which used to always be filled, was now looking like it was practically empty after I went to the store. I knew this was temporary and that someday again I would have my pantry stocked.

As Mark sat down the bags and opened the cabinet, I noticed it was packed. "By the way. Gina had all this food delivered. I think she thought, actually; I was not sure what she thought other than she is buying groceries for two teens. I guess maybe when she ordered to have her groceries delivered, she told them to double it and deliver one set here." He had a mischievous smile to his face. If I didn't know better I would think he was up to something.

The first word out of my mouth was "wow" as I stared at a packed pantry filled with all the food a teen or pre-teen might want. Not to mention a few of the things I use to have around as my snacks but forgone their expensive chocolaty goodness in order to stay in line with my budget. As the kids barreled in their pleas of 'can we have mom' started to get to me. My eyes filled with tears on the verge of downfall and with my back to them, I looked pleadingly at Mark. "Are you sure?" I asked softly.

"Have at it kids. I'll never eat this stuff. I'll let Gina know how happy you are." Then he quickly left the room. I don't think he could handle my tears any better than I could. I didn't let the kids see my eyes as they dug deep into the pantry grabbing bags or boxes of their favorites. I snuck out to the entryway powder room to wipe my eyes and take a breath.

By the time I had pulled myself together and came back to the kitchen, all the groceries were in, my car closed up and locked, and my keys dangling on their hook. Kaitlin, Mikey and Mark were all gabbing away as they put the groceries away. Inevitably, all in the wrong places but I didn't want to stop them because they were the picture of a happy family.

As soon as the deed was done, with my help of course, Mikey scattered outside to play with the neighborhood kids. With the longer, warmer hours of summer approaching, it was nice to have him out playing more again. When Tag first left, he had resorted to hanging inside because some of the neighborhood kids were saying mean things; once again, I was sure those were things they were repeating from their parents.

Kaitlin had her flaming hot Cheetos and Coke in hand and was about to head down to the basement TV when Jolene came in with her helium voice and exclaimed those were her favorites. She waved a recent teen movie release in front of my daughter as a barter and with another coke in hand, which Jolene did not ask for, they were barreling upstairs to Jolene's room to hang out. I was almost jealous for a second, then I realized how nice it was for Jolene to offer so that I didn't have to be the one tortured through the teen movie with my daughter.

I turned to Mark and smiled while leaning against the counter. He did the same from across the room. I crossed my arms over my chest, cocked an eye in question. He again, did the same. "Alright. Cough it up. Gina did not buy all this food."

He laughed and smiled. "Actually she did. I happen to mention how much food your kids eat. I was at her place last week working on a business proposal; we had to work there since both kids were down with the flu, and she couldn't come into the office. Any ways, she mentioned that she uses a local grocery delivery service for herself. She has what she likes to call her standard teen food order. She joked that when she placed my gourmet, organic flaky food order, she would tell them to deliver her teen order here as well. I guess she wasn't joking. You mad?"

I pushed off the counter and walked closer to him. "Not mad. I want to pay you back or take it off your rent. I guess if it makes the kids happy, then I should just say thanks." As I got closer he looked at me for a second with hunger, then he looked awkwardly away.

"Thanks works. I'm not taking it off the rent. The price on their faces was payment enough. This whole mess has them stressed."

I stopped and looked at him. I thought the kids were handling it ok. I wondered if they had mentioned anything. Sure Tag had cut their visiting hours back; he had even taken Jolene on a few awkward dates, but I thought they were adjusting well. However, I could see, how having junk food your mom quit buying for a while, seem like a trip to Disney for a kid in comparison to a teen wanting their junk food.

As I got within reach, I let my arm reach out and touch his crossed arms. I pulled them open and then pulled myself close to kiss him on the cheek. Just as I whispered a 'thanks' into his ear, he pulled me in for a tight sensual hug. I let myself melt into his strong muscular body. I heard a soft 'you're welcome' into my hair and then after a minute, he let go, and I pulled away. He probably had no idea how incredible that hug just felt. I hadn't had anyone but the kids hug me since before the whole Tag incident, and if there was a salon for hugs, I think I might have gone. Perhaps on a fifty percent off day or two for one gig. Hey, I'm on a budget here. Hugs aren't a necessity, they're a privilege.

I stepped back and grabbed his hands, and mouthed the word 'thanks' again. Then I took a deep breath and expelled it, to only speak in a chocked up voice. "I haven't had a hug like that in, I don't know how long."

"I'm sorry. Not about the hug, just that you haven't had one in so long. Everyone needs a hug once in a while." So true. He spoke like a mature man. Which he was. His intellect and mannerisms were off the chart compared to Tag; I wouldn't even know where to start to even compare them.

"It's been hard. I mean. My family is back east. My friends were his and once the separation happened; I felt like I had no friends. Then the neighborhood women acted as if I couldn't come near them or their husbands. Word got out, and I didn't hear from one single friend. Although in retrospect, I didn't reach out either. I guess I was in denial for a while. Unfortunately, the feelings not the river."

He laughed heartily this time. "You are quite a woman you know that. Funny, smart, witty, intelligent, organized, charming..." He paused on charming as I hand motioned for him to keep it coming.

"Damn you are good. I think I should replicate you and market you to all recent to be divorcees. You know. Help them keep their self-esteem. Because mine got flushed down the toilet like Mikey's goldfish the day Tag announced he was leaving me for long legs."

"Ah. The dental hygienist assistant. How cliché. I have gone to several different dentists and not once did an assistant look prettier than you."

Now I was laughing nervously. He was good. Smooth. Classic. Not cliché or like a bad aftershave. He was more like a sensual spa day out. Which, by the way, had been a long time for a mental or physical one of those.

"Look. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I can tell when I woman is, how shall I put this... feels less adequate than what she should feel. In the short time, I've been living here, I've felt so..." He stopped. How did he feel? I know I felt incredible. In fact, I cried one-night thinking about how it will be when he is gone. Lonely. The menopause supplements were helping, but I hadn't found the time or energy to work out. I was told that would help. I just could not afford the membership right now.

"Earth to May. I lost you there for a second. It's like you were staring off into space, and I was talking. Any ways I was saying how great it feels to interact with a family when I know at my age, I'll most likely not be having kids of my own. Gina told me I would probably regret this move, but I've found it most delightful."

He throws all this emotional garb my way. Enjoying my family. A kind of thanks for lending yours, it's been fun. My voice came out shaky and emotional. "What exactly did you mean by Gina said you would regret about renting a room." It came out somewhat accusatory. I didn't mean to but I think my emotions were getting too involved, and I needed a defense, a barrier in our newfound friendship, before he needed to leave. Otherwise, his leaving was going to be that much harder. Not just on the kids, but my shredded heart that Tag left in place.

He laughed nervously. Which wasn't like him. He was all solid, stealth and things that make a man go oomph. He was a charismatic man in every syllable of the word. "Look May. Kaitlin and Mikey have been very open to me in the last few weeks. Kaitlin is the daughter I wished I had. Minus the drama on Mondays and Friday nights, but other than that, she's a smart kid who has had to do a lot of growing up because of Tag's mistakes, and I stress mistakes. You may not see it as all that, but the man had no idea what he was giving up here. Your kids are great. You're great. As far as living here and regretting it, well. I have lived alone all my life. Only child. Went to private schools away from home, rich parents, you get the gest. It's a long story between me and Gina, but it works. Then there's Mikey. I think he was afraid to warm up to me, but now. Did you know he asked me to attend the father-son event at school?"

I almost choked. Mark could not be a substitute for Tag. Sure Tag had found it convenient to forgo some of his fathering responsibilities since Mark came into the picture. He skipped a couple of his weeknights and was picking the kids up Saturday instead of Friday at Kaitlin's insistence, and then had them home first thing on Sunday. However, the father-son event, Tag always went, surprisingly.

"I..." I had no idea where to start. I had a million and one questions in my head and a million and one perimeters that needed to be set to protect my kid's hearts as well. As much as I loved this moment of come replace their missing father moments, I had to be real about all of this. I didn't fit into his multi-million dollar lifestyle with two kids still attached at my hip. I was just plain old simple May, mother of two, part-time worker, full-time homemaker, blah. There was not a lot of excitement going on here. I would be the last person they would cast for a reality show of whatever city housewives. We both stood there staring at each other among the quiet hum of the dishwasher. Did I mention he did the dishes every night when he got home from work, before I had a chance?

I knew the peace and quiet couldn't last. It never did since they were born. I was over inundated with requests from the kids as they both came rushing in from wherever they were at. Mikey wanted something or other; Jolene's rental had a scratch and needed replacement and Kaitlin wanted her babysitting check cashed. "One at a time." I spoke up to all three, Kaitlin, Mikey and Jolene, who recently reverted back to a teen the longer she lived here.

Apparently, they wanted to run to the bank to cash Kaitlin's check, get a replacement rental and then hit the corner store for some new something or other that just came out, and all the kids in the neighborhood had but them. "You can ride your bikes it's only twelve or so blocks away."

The next shocker I was unsure about. "May, I'll drive them. I have something I need to pick up from the corner store as well. Come on kiddos, into the yellow submarine." That was what Mikey called her convertible yellow VW bug. He said it reminded him of a submarine. I thought Jolene was insulted, but instead she seemed taken with them lately. As if her late twenty something hormones made that awful switch from eek kids to yeah kiddos are fun. The next step was usually finding potential father slash husband material and with her dating Tag, I was scared for all of us. Jolene had worn on me, but little Jolene's would be scary.

"If you don't mind. Kaitlin, I'll give you some cash to pick up a gallon of milk. Also..." I stopped. I didn't want my daughter and roommate to pick me up cigarettes. I had only gone back to having one here or there, but I was out and after my 'moment' with Mark in the kitchen, I had envisioned my bathroom fan on, mini DVD player on the sink and me sitting on the toilet puffing my life away for a quick mental release. It was a bad habit; I had not smoked since before the separation, but I was on a budget here and drinking and spas were expensive. The smoking habit was a 'as needed' basis and not more than one a week.

They were gone before I could finish. I would be lucky if they returned with the milk. I turned to Mr. Miller, who was pulling out food in preparation for more than a one-person meal. "You've eaten yet?"

"For lunch?" I grabbed my step stool to put a few can goods up high, but he stopped me.

"Let me get those for you." With his six-foot plus frame he had no problem reaching the high shelf. My five foot six frame needed the handy step stool.

"Thanks. I haven't eaten lunch yet. The store was just about enough to make Thelma and Louise drive over the cliff again."

He laughed at my antics. He had quickly come to learn that a vast majority of my life's relations to experiences was always explained with a movie theme.

"Crazy huh? How about you give me twenty of so minutes and then meet me on the patio for a lunch? You can tell me all about the store today."

I guess it couldn't hurt. Sure, I was jumping my guns here about what was really going on. I didn't think Mark had any interest in me as a lover, more as a human interest story slash experience. For a man who never lived with an actual family experience, we were giving him a run for his money.

"See you in twenty." Then I practically bolted out of the kitchen down into my room. I felt a flood of emotions overriding my body at that particular moment.

When I made it back up with refreshed makeup, a nicer top and short set as the early summer sun was warming up nicely and a complete new attitude about our friendship and the platonic meaning of it all.

That all changed. There on the patio was cleaned up patio furniture that previously had some dust on it from the last rainstorm, umbrella open, two glasses of wine, place settings like a fancy restaurant and a platter of gourmet nibbles along with shrimp scampi and a salad. I felt like I was entering a five-star diner. Then the look of intrigue was on Mark's face, and I realized that platonic might have taken a step up.

Like it or not, things were heating up on my end much more rapidly than I ever thought imaginable.

Chapter Seven

"Explain yourself, please." I begged as I sat down, took the cloth napkin, and spread it across my lap.

"What? All this? This is just me. While you were downstairs, Jolene popped back because she forgot something in her room. I sent the kids out here with rags to clean up the patio set. Then by the time Jolene walked her slow butt back down they had finished and were off. The rest of this was gourmet deli food Gina had delivered. I'm just presenting the food better than it looked inside the plastic containers."

I looked at him with pause. "So you're telling me that 'my' kids came out here and cleaned up without so much as a fight. I mean you're good, and I've noticed that when you 'suggest' something, they usually do it. But this? I doubt it. You paid them something didn't you?"

He laughed and sat down after helping to slide my chair into the table. Then he put his napkin on his lap and took a large sip of wine. When he set his glass down, he smiled devilishly. "You're onto my evil way's woman. Actually, I didn't get to be the owner of a multi-million dollar company without knowing how to work the employees. I paid them ten each if they cleaned up the patio and then kept Jolene and them out of the house for an hour while we enjoyed our lunch in peace and quiet. Kaitlin is a smart one. She said she already had a way to distract Jolene at the movie rental place. There is some new hunk of a manager working there that all the neighborhood moms were talking about."

I started to sulk. Ever since my budget cuts, due to the separation, I gave up new movie rentals and was either getting them from a dispensary box at the grocery store for a buck or picking up old releases at the library.

"Why the sad face?" His hand touched my arm, and I quickly grabbed my wine and gulped a chug down. By the time I swallowed and smiled awkwardly, he had started eating as if he was ravished.

"Don't laugh. Really, it's silly. But the local movie hut has been notorious for hiring these really hunky model like young men who can make a housewife drool and rent a movie every day. Stop laughing. It's bad enough I am a movie fanatic. It's my thing. My life would not be complete without movies. Old. New. Corny. I'm a movie hound. There. I've said it, and if there was an addicts group for this so-called thing I would be there. It's just, I gave up movie rentals as part of my budget cuts and well, I kind of miss the hunky check out guy telling me how cute I am today."

His laughter subsided as soon as I quit explaining. Then in a very serious debonair voice, he turned to me and said. "You're the most beautiful, incredible woman I have ever met." He kissed my cheek and then turned to his plate and took a bite of salad. I sat there stupefied then as soon as he swallowed. "That will be two ninety five mam. Due back by Friday."

I busted out laughing. That was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. It took several gulps of air and breaks in the laughter to stop. I took my cloth napkin and wiped my eyes.

The rest of our lunch was incredible. Mark explained 'Gina'. She was an intern at the start of his company, and once she graduated from Yale, Yale mind you, she stayed by his side. She always went under the title of personal assistant but really was listed as a major CEO in his company. She still handled all his personal business until her sister died, and she was bequeathed the care of her niece and nephew. She almost quit due to the stress. Mark begged her to stay, and she agreed under terms, which he cannot divulge. However, he let her hire as many people as she needed and now she just mostly tends to his personal work, and they still work on business proposals together. He explained that she was the sister he never had. Gina claims, to him, that he is the brother she never had. Just one time, under one very long weekend in the Bahamas for a client and a bottle of rum later, they kissed and both of them felt nothing. There had never been a sexual tension with them before or after that weekend.

He talked mostly through the meal. It was so nice for a change to hear about other people's lives. I felt so caught up in my own that just hearing about the stories of Gina and what she does for him, and his parents and their wealth, and his successful business gave me a sense of relief. However, when I went to ask him how the remodel was going, he got stoic and simply answered 'fine'. I sensed something there but let it go. We were having such an incredible time I just sat back from my finished meal and drank the second glass of wine he poured.

The hour flew by, and the kids were back. Kaitlin and Jolene bolted back to her room to watch the teen flick with more munchie supplies. Mikey was off to Irene's house to show her boys what he just bought so he could be part of the culture crowd that buys the hottest item of the month. Whatever made him feel good, made me feel good. I knew that hot item today would be next month's donation bin or sucked up in the vacuum depending on its size. Besides I was sure he just blew the ten bucks Mark just gave them.

The cool breeze of the early summer weather kept me on that porch with Mark for another two hours. Eventually, we moved to the lounge chairs. First, he cleaned them off and moved the umbrella and stand to where we were sitting. He poured a third glass of wine and by now, I was feeling tipsy.

This time he asked me questions instead of talking about himself. He asked about Tag. I told him about it being a marriage that had been unraveling for a while, and Tag seemed to have caught a second wind. That got a huge laugh out of Mark, but he would not explain.

He asked about my family and how close we were. I told him I was the youngest of three and that my sister and brother were much older and farther along in their lives that what I was going through seemed almost trivial to them. I told them I had Catholic parents who did not approve of the divorce yet stayed unhappily married for their entire marriage. I told him about my grandparents and how none of them were around. Being an 'oops' child, farther along in a Catholic family, and at my age, I always felt generations behind the rest of the family.

He asked about my hobbies. I told him how I loved movies first, that was evident and that before the kids, I was active with simple things like hiking, bike riding or swimming. I told him how I loved books and wanted one of the newfangled e-readers desperately, but that wasn't looking too likely lately. I told him I was a quilter but that too had taken a backseat over the years. That my room now, was my quilting room, and everything had been boxed up and shoved way back into the small storage closet.

We laughed about new movies versus the old classics, we both seemed to love. We joked about Jolene and her funny voice and the way she dressed like a junior teen. Mark did a perfect imitation of Jolene normal voice, and Jolene I'm sexy now voice. The one she like to use whenever Mark was around until she started to date Tag. When he asked how I felt about that, I practically spit my sip of wine all over me. He quickly jumped up and wiped the wine off me with the edge of his casual Sunday shirt. Casual to him was very dressed up to me.

We laughed as he tried to dab at the wine, and I stopped him by explaining that as a glorified award winning stay at home mom, I had gotten my fair share of stains out of clothes. Wine was nothing.

Then he shocked me with a question that I had to really dig deep with. "If you could have any one thing right now. What would it be?"

I sat stunned in silence for a good minute while I looked out over my brown dead grass of a yard and remembered all the years I cared for that yard, tending to the flowers and put time, money, effort and a lot of sweat into that yard. I didn't see that yard coming back to its glory days anytime soon. I felt the tipsy of the wine wager my answer when out came what I really wanted both real and metaphorically speaking. "Green grass."

Without hesitation, he coughed out. "What?"

"Green grass. See how brown and ugly my grass is. This whole thing with Tag started early last spring. I use to spend hours, dollars and sweat making our yard the best on the whole block. My flowers had the best blooms, and my grass was the greenest. I was competing, mind you, with the majority of the men in the neighborhood. Those weekend warriors would be out there working hard. I had an edge. I had time Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, as back then I only worked two eight-hour shifts at the real estate office. The same one I work at now but five days a week for five hours. Before you guys rented, it was go to the office there, swing home, feed the kids, and head out to my night customer service job and weekends at the Mega Mart. All that started after Tag left me for long legs. Listen to me; I'm babbling in every direction. Feeling a bit tipsy here."

We both laughed. Then he turned to me and looked at me intently. "Carry on. I'm intrigued."

"Alright, but I'm warning you. Only two things happen when I'm tipsy, one of which can't take place between us and the other is that I babble." I laughed nervously and I thought for one second, my insinuation of something not being able to happen between us, gave him a sad look. I carefully placed that misinterpreted insinuation aside and rambled on.

"So where was I? Yes. I was queen of the grass, princess of the flower brigade, and I was proud. I felt like I was a successful stay at home mom that worked two days a week, was engaged in my kids' lives and was a supportive wife. Really. Unfortunately, I started to neglect the husband slash wife part of our lives and primarily focused on mom slash maid part. I didn't do anything to keep the marriage going, and neither did Tag. Then one day it was the weight. He was dieting. A week or so later it was the hair. He actually went to a salon to color it. Before blonde number two sixty-five for men, he was almost completely grey. Then he couldn't stop talking about long legs. I don't ever call her by her name. I would gladly call her slut or the b word but the kids always hanging around, listening in on our conversations; I called her long legs."

I took a deep breath and a huge sip of wine. Glass three was done and Mark started pouring glass four. I didn't stop him. I was liking the way my body was feeling from the relaxation sensation of the wine, and the fact that he was letting me sound off to him, almost a year of repressed feelings.

"Should I stop or do you seriously want me to go on?" I laughed.

In a very timber voice, he responded. "I think you need to continue on. Have you talked to anyone about all this?"

My nervous laughter kicked in as I replied. "Of course. I mean a little. Ok. Not really. I blogged about it on a mom site for a bit, but I just got more depressed. The majority of the moms were telling me to stick with him and work through this. A few gave me ideas on how to 'get rid' of him, then a few gave me some good advice as to how to handle the divorce. None of which is the same as I'm babbling here with you. For one, I wasn't tipsy off wine when I went on line, and two. Two would have to be how I feel when I'm around you. Different."

He leaned back and stretched his legs, and crossed them at the ankle. He had been sitting forward most of the time just leaning in on his knees listening intently to me. "You could say different alright. This whole gig isn't your normal situation, but hey it's working for all of us right now, I'd say. Wouldn't you?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Yeah. It is."

"Carry on then. I was going to work on some things up in my office but listening to you is far better than dredging up into my office and slaying over business agreements for hours on end."

I laughed. I had noticed that every day he was here, he was at his office less and less. Actually, he had not mentioned his house or what was going on there. That seemed odd but he also indicated that was a no talk situation. I left it alone. I didn't want to ask or complain because it had been really nice spending mornings drinking coffee, talking and then some days coming home to a clean kitchen, dishes done and a meal cooked. He usually headed upstairs after dinner, after convincing the kids to clean up and worked for an hour or two. Then when he came down, he was throwing a ball with Mikey, working on a science project with Kaitlin or just observing the house from a chair in the kitchen. Often at times, it would seem like a bomb of conversation or chaos would explode in my kitchen, and he seemed the most amused.

I decided to carry on since it felt so good to talk about all this. "So what do you want to hear about next? The guinea pigs? The soccer scandal or Tag's next venture?"

"Tag first, soccer scandal sounds like desert talk. Let's save that for after dinner and the kids are in bed."

I was giddy just at the fact he was suggesting this conversation will continue on, and that we would be hanging out after dinner. It felt so good to have adult conversation with a man, let alone a man who looked like James Bond. And acted like him too.

"Ok. Tag. Tag. Taggard Bell. Where should I start? Oh yeah. I left off at..."

He interjected excitedly. "Blonde two sixty five is his bi-weekly color job, and then he couldn't keep his trap shut about long legs. Really, May. If you weren't the one living this life you would have to see the humor in all of it." He paused. "Sorry. Not that this is humorous. Just that, if you haven't noticed, Tag and I, usually have a pissing match going on when he's here. This just makes me feel like the queen of the garden so to speak."

I could easily see that. "Speaking of garden. I left out how I let the yard go last summer; the coveted HOA wrote me a nasty letter, and I wrote one back about Tag leaving me, the sprinkler system had been sabotaged, and someone poured grass killer in the word slut on my grass. I included in the letter how they could go F themselves, but I actually wrote the word. That is part of the soccer scandal story. That's dessert talk. Ok. Tag is on a constant monkey dance over long legs. She was in our everyday conversation. At first, I ignored. Then, I pointed it out. He tells me I'm insecure. Then he starts to compare her early twenty body to mine. I gained twenty pounds at the mention, and my clothes grew frumpier in my closet. I get a haircut; he calls it an old mom haircut and then shows me a picture of long legs. At this point, I have not had the balls to go to the office. I freak when I see how beautiful and young she is and go ballistic over the fact he has a picture of her - in his wallet! Then, he borrows against the equity in the house. He buys a red sports car, new clothes, Botox and... get this. I found a cash receipt for liposuction. Oddly enough for the same date as some dang fool dentist convention, he had to go to. Fool. For as much as he will end up paying me when this is done, it would have been cheaper for him to let me have the Botox, hair salon and liposuction. Ha!"

In a serious timber voice, he asked me a shocking, self-evaluating question. "Do you want those things? Because darling, I think you are perfect the way you are. Gorgeous actually. A mature gorgeous, not the kind that is falsely hanging onto their youth wearing junior department styles and nip and tucking everything in sight, trying to stay young gorgeous. A mature woman is a beautiful thing. And I've seen a lot of women. I should know."

As I was melting like a chocolate bunny on a hot summer day from his words, I thought about how that all set in. I could imagine he had a woman in every port so to speak. With a swift dial of a phone, Gina could have him a flavor of the week. But that was neither here nor there. He had paid me a high compliment, and he was right. I was gorgeous. Several pounds overweight let myself go frumpy, gorgeous. I was already thinking a spa day, hair fix, closet redo was in order. Then I realized my budget and thought lower scale. Thrift store run for some fun new clothes, home boxed hair color kit, and maybe I could work out to a video at home instead of paying for a high price gym. My menopause hormone pills already helped me drop ten pounds, or maybe that was having Mark around to cook healthy meals, and I was relaxing more, and those stress pounds were slowly melting away.

As my mind wandered, I heard him clear his throat. I had to respond quickly. "Thanks. I mean it. What you just said meant the world to me. So much so I started to fantasize about new clothes, hair color and working out."

"I don't think I got my point across then. You're perfect the way you are. If Tag is searching for something in the younger department, it's because he's missing in another department. Probably, the size department." He laughed at his own comment to Tag's manly size down there. I laughed with him because Tag bashing was actually a nice change then sweep it under the rug for the kids. Kids weren't around, and Mark wasn't the type to go running to Tag and tell him what we said. I felt safe and secure in talking to Mark.

"No I get it but I couldn't help to think. It kind of goes back to that question of the one thing I want. I want green grass damn it. I deserve it. I want my actual grass to be green again, which will take a sprinkler repair and new sod. I don't have the money for that. However, in the metaphorically speaking sense, I want green grass. I want to have the money to spruce myself up passed this frumpy point I've allowed. This isn't about looks; it's about self-confidence and what a woman has to do to get to that point." I put my hand up to stop his throat clearing. "Look, we as women are our own worst critic. However, we also need these things, so we can look in the mirror to say, 'ah, my grass is looking pretty green'. If it takes a box of hair color, a new outfit, or to shed a few pounds to make the grass seem green, then so be it. I will agree with you though. Those women over forty, searching for the holy grail of twenty, they need to reexamine their heads about aging and youth." I turned sideways to him and smiled hugely. It was a, I am drunk and babbling smile. Tied in with, you are incredibly gorgeous and inhumanly manly with your debonair smile. In other words, how do I keep me one of these, before you poof out of my life, smile.

"You're smiling really big. You're almost done with that glass of wine, and you look a bit sleepy."

"I am. I think you can guess the rest with Tag. We are in negotiations. He blew through the home-equity line in under a year. He just paid me my first real child support payment in months, and... I'm going to be okay. Thanks."

"For what?" He stood up, took my empty wine glass, and put it in the same hand as his empty wine glass. Then he offered me a hand to stand. I gladly accepted but with a bit of woozy to my head, so I swayed.

"Everything. Today. The cooking, the helping you've done around the house. The fact, that just renting, made you my knight in shining armor."

He put an arm around me to help me walk inside. "What does that make Jolene? The wanna be Princess Barbie?"

"Something." I let the light headiness I felt convey in my laughter. "Good lord. That voice though. How the heck does she go from helium high to soft and sexy?" I said the last part in my sexiest tone.

Mark looked down at me and quickly brushed a kiss across my lips. I was now officially burnt chocolate, not just a melted mess of infatuated chocolate bunny. I was going to need to send out an S.O.S.

Chapter Eight

The slam of the garage door broke our moment, along with Mikey screaming at the top of his lungs. "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

Before I could answer, he went babbling on in one breath about Irene and her husband's split up, and he's got a new younger girlfriend like dad. That Max, Irene's son, invited him to dinner and Irene was asking all kinds of questions about our break-up. My first thought - classy. My second thought, maybe she wants someone to talk to instead of demoralizing about the breakup of my marriage. My third thought, karma just bit her in the ass because I was almost sure she and her best friend Darlene, down the street, were the grass killer slash writers of the word slut in my grass. The soccer incident finally got them back.

At this point, I observed Mark not take up his usual observatory corner or chair in the TV room off from the kitchen but instead step up and lay a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

"Son it's not polite to air other people's business like this. It's also not polite to ask personal questions to someone's son. May I suggest when you return to dinner at Max's that all personal questions about your mom and dad's divorce be answered with a very simple, 'please ask my mom about that' or 'I don't know'. Both responses should quiet Max's mom down a bit. She's obviously quite shaken up about her own situation."

Mikey looked up at him and smiled with what looked like relief. I can't imagine those questions being easy for him and as much as he liked Max, he didn't want to not be over there being asked questions; he just wanted to play or eat dinner with them. "Thanks. Hey Mark? How come you always know the right thing to say?"

Mark smiled down at him as his hand came off Mikey's shoulder, and then he looked at me when he answered. "Sometimes you have to learn from saying the wrong thing before you say the right thing. Just always keep in mind, if your intentions are good, your words will be good."

Mikey reached in the backdoor bin of stuff for his glove and ball and shouted out 'I'll be home later' over his shoulder.

I watched as Kaitlin and Mikey almost collide around the corner and a loving gesture of 'watch it squirt', followed by a hand rub in Mikey's hair, and Mikey's holler back as he ran away of 'that's Mr. Squirt to you sis', made my heart swell. Through everything, in which we had been through, the two had their sibling quarrels, but for the most part they were always very loving to each other. I knew with the divorce that things could have gone several ways but the three of us always talked and worked through it. Maybe it helped that Tag was never a huge part of interaction in our life before the divorce, but he was their father, nonetheless. Now that we were getting divorced, he saw them more than before and was more interactive in their lives. Mentally, I realized that this divorce was the best thing.

Caught off guard in a faraway moment again, Mark's hand slid up my arm and landed waving in front of my face. "Earth to May? You look lost for a second."

"That I did. Welcome to my wonderful world of menopause. My mind starts wondering with my emotions and bam; I'm out of here." I laughed and then turned with my back to him. The touch of his hand on my arm felt so sensual and sincere I knew my feelings for him were increasing, as he was being every bit of the man, I desired both mentally and physically. I thought I might need more time to get over Tag, but then Mark happened in my life and somewhere in the chaos; he snuck in and surprised me.

We weren't in the kitchen alone for long with our touchy feely way of reaching out to each other. Kaitlin came barreling up the stairs, shouting some nonsense and Mark pulled away. I got the feeling he did not want to send mixed messages to the kids. Lord knows I didn't. I mean I wanted him to touch me, kiss me even, but right now, I did not want to do anything in front of the kids that might confuse them. Mark was our renter, not my lover. I was not divorced from Tag yet and it was bad enough for them that Tag was dating our other renter. I did not want to add double weird on top of all of it.

"Mom!" She sounded exasperated as she held her cell phone to her shoulder. "Molly and Darlene from down the street our going out and want to know if you are ok if I watch all five kids?" Her foot was tapping impatiently waiting for my answer. It didn't take me long to figure this one out.

"Where's the dad's?" I knew exactly where they were. Vegas. Irene could not keep her mouth shut when it came to other neighbor gossip. She let that one conveniently slip when she came to get her mail after their Hawaii trip. Her husband had wanted to go, and she wanted my opinion, which at the time I withheld.

"Vegas." She whispered it so that whoever was on the phone didn't know that she knew. Mark raised his eyebrows and left the room. I knew he was secretly laughing around the corner. I only gave him a small taste of the neighborhood gossip. He was mature to reply that with a comment that some of these people have not left the sandbox yet.

"Absolutely. And Kaitlin... charge them double." I whispered the last part. She winked at me and worked her magic. She was an incredible deal breaker when it came to babysitting. She knew how to work the customers like nobody's business. She told whoever was on the phone and desperately calling at the last hour of babysitting that she was supposed to watch her little brother but for double pay, her mom will stay home, and she can come sit. When she closed her phone triumphantly, she looked proud. "They didn't hesitate. I'll check in later with what time I'll be home. Have you seen my babysitting kit?"

"Restocked and in the front hall." As Kaitlin barreled down the hall for her duffle full of stuff to occupy the kids she babysat, and a few snacks to bribe, Mark came back from around the corner with the biggest smile on his face.

"What's a babysitting kit?" He had the look of a man who was out of his territory. Therefore, I proceeded to explain that often when Kaitlin brought over something these kids didn't have, it kept them occupied. She worked the babysitting gig like a professional business. As I went on to explain, I saw a beam of a pride smile slide across his face. One that I had wished a million times for from Tag, who couldn't seem to recognize the whole babysitting thing for anything more than a teenager's job.

"She's a smart one. I am constantly surprised by your kids." He walked towards me with a look of seduction. I barely breathed out a reply of 'me too', before he leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Now if we can only get rid of Jolene."

The effects of the wine had long kicked in, and I was ready for a nap but with just Mark's presence and whispering in my ear; I felt a new bravado. I turned to him as he walked past and hollered over his shoulder. "I have a few hours of work I must get done. Take a nap and enjoy the peace and quiet. You need to be rested for later." He paused and turned towards me. "I'm holding you to telling me about the soccer incident."

The rested for later comment, raced my pulse up like a Daytona 500. It was a good thing he added the soccer incident story telling thing or my slightly tipsy mind might have wandered down the path of him insinuating a vertical tango. Instead, I watched him walk upstairs and my mind went there any ways.

It was still early evening, and I could really use a quick nap. I practically floated downstairs and set my alarm for an hour, and then I lay in my bed and closed my eyes. It wasn't long, and I was able to quickly imagine just what Mark might be like doing the vertical tango.

The soft gentle stroke of his hand up my arm, over my shoulder, then along my neck and across my lips woke me from a very nice dream of him, mind you. A soft light from a lamp draped with a blue scarf allowed me to wake to Mark's smiling face and a soft casting light.

"Hey sleepy head. It's seven, and I'm hungry. Jolene just left for the next two days on flight. Mikey called, and they are watching a movie until nine. Kaitlin called and said she would be home by ten. We have two hours alone. How does Chinese sound?"

"It's seven? I thought I set my alarm." I stretched and turned fully towards him and smiled up at him. He is incredibly good looking. He had that older man distinguished look about him. His grey hair was sexy as hell and his tan face with laugh lines gave him the look of maturity. What can I say, he was a James Bond look alike, and I felt incredibly lucky that he seemed very attracted to me at the moment.

"Chinese?" He started to lean in closer. I was afraid he was going to kiss me and afraid he wouldn't.

"Anything Chinese sounds great." Then before I could sit up, his lips brushed mine and a soft gentle kiss ensued. He pulled away and smiled.

"That's to warm you up for later." He sat up off of my bed and offered me a hand. I swallowed hard and thought later-smater. Let's just be hungry and do it now. Then he offered up what later meant. "I'm looking forward to you telling me about the 'soccer incident'. These neighbors of yours sound entertaining."

"Oh they're entertaining alright." I took his hand and he practically lifted me off my bed. He looked around briefly in my room. It was clean but small. Unlike the large Master bedroom, my old room, he was renting. I took great pride in decorating that room. This room was a mish-mash of pulled together, extra bed, bedding and odds and end furniture.

Somehow, as he was wrapping me up in his arms, I didn't think he cared one iota about my decorating skills down here. He lips brushed mine and then his tongue softly led my mouth open. He arms felt securely strong around me, and his mouth tasted warm and delicious.

I slowly eased out of the kiss and looked into his eyes. My mind whirled with a million and one questions starting with where is this going and why is he so taken with me. When I first met him, I envisioned he had a one, if not more, very sexy sophisticated girlfriends, not interest in a frumpy mom like myself.

Then the doorbell rang, and he looked up to the ceiling. "I went ahead and ordered hoping you'd want dinner. I guessed at what you might like. I actually ordered a little of everything. If you want to go out or have something different..."

"Oh gosh no. I'm starved. Let's get the door before the delivery person leaves."

He dropped my hand he had been holding and bolted upstairs. I took a second to collect myself after the kiss. I sauntered into my bathroom and saw what he saw. I was glowing from his kiss. My hair had a sexy mess look to it, and my eyes were soft and my lips pouty. I could be sexy; I thought. I shot myself with a mist of perfume; I brushed color across my cheeks, swiped my eyes with fresh mascara and applied a nice complimentary lipstick. I winked at myself and headed upstairs.

Chapter Nine

Mark sat next to me with wooden chopsticks in hand, showing tremendous patience in teaching me the trick to getting more than a single grain of rice. Each time I almost had it in my mouth my fingers would twitch and then the food would fall. Each time, we laughed and then he would put a bite into my mouth with his chopsticks. It was so incredibly sexy and romantic I wanted to melt right then and there.

Our conversations slipped in and out about the kids, Jolene's on and off again dating with Tag; and how nicely this whole arrangement has settled into place. Of course, I had to go and ruin the moment by asking how his remodel was going. Not because I wanted him to leave, but because I never heard anything about it. The silence from Mark was only seconds, but it felt like several minutes. He had a faraway look and a slight grimace on his face then his eyes lifted to mine, and his smile came back. "Let's not bore ourselves about that, you owe me a soccer incident story."

I laughed nervously. Partly, because I sensed there was some type of lie behind the remodel, and I was nervous to think that this man, that I had put so high up on a pedestal, could even remotely lie to me. He was everything I wanted in a man and more, yet I didn't think I could take lying any better than I could take Tag cheating on me. It seemed to go hand in hand. The other part of my laughter was from remembering the soccer incident. I was slightly afraid he might judge me.

"You have to remember, at the time; I was steaming mad. However, now I find it so funny." I tossed a flirty smile his way.

"I'll keep that in mind." He proceeded to get up and put all the leftover Chinese into the refrigerator, and as I started on about my story.

"Both kids were in soccer; this was beginning of last spring, by the way. Tag hadn't left me yet, but I could sense something was amiss. I think some of the other soccer moms did as well. I turned a deaf ear back then, boy how I wished I hadn't."

"Do you wish you had Tag back now?" He had a look of somberness about him as he continued to wipe down the table and grabbed the dishes to put in the sink. I sat there for a second and thought about what he asked. Not because I was sorry about Tag and I. I mean I was. But not anymore. Now I wanted a man like Mark. A man I could talk to. A man who cleaned up after dinner once in a while. A man who turned me on with a touch or a kiss.

"Your silence has me concerned." He had his back to me now at the kitchen sink. I stood up and circled my arms around him, and kissed his shoulder.

"Don't. I was just thinking how it was sad about Tag and I, but just having you here and showing me what having a real man around is like. Well. You're ruining me for any other man." I laughed nervously as I felt a bit of tension. Maybe I was jumping the gun. Saying too much too soon. Maybe I would scare the ba-jeeb-bors out of him, and he would think I was looking for my next husband. When, in reality, I was just enjoying him.

"Last one out on the deck brings the wine." I ran out the back door and plopped myself down on a deck chair. Within a minute or two, Mark was there, two wine glasses in hand. As he handed me my glass, he commented. "At least I'm not the rotten egg." He smiled down at me.

"I get the feeling you're referring to Tag. That you are not, and he is. You are so much more of a man and help around the house than Tag every was. Do you know that he sees the kids more now and interacts by texting or emails or phone then he did when he lived here? I guess from bad comes good." I watched Mark sit with a huge smile on his face. Something told me that he really enjoyed when I played up how much better he was then Tag. Tag rubbed him the wrong way from day one, but Mark was always classy enough to act as if he didn't affect him when Tag was around. However, he sure seemed to get a kick out of winning the pissing match with the man. I figured that would pass in time, which made me think that there could be a future with Mark and me. There really could.

"So. Let's hear about the soccer incident."

"Ok. Promise you won't judge me by my reactions?"

"Promise."

"Because I got a little childish there towards the end. I wouldn't even let Kaitlin baby sit any of the mom's kids. Which is harsh considering Kaitlin is a well sought-after sitter."

"Scouts honor." He held up the scouts honor hand sign then lowered it exposing a very sexy smile.

"You were never a scout were you?"

"No. I was captain of the debate team. Captain of the rugby team and captain..." I stopped him with a hand to his lips which he promptly kissed then grabbed my hand.

"You had me at captain." What can I say? Even movie lines creep into my everyday life. Especially if they are sappy chick flicks.

As we held hands, sitting side by side, sipping on our wine, I told him the whole story. He never interrupted but occasionally stopped me with a question and then let out some light laughter, took a sip of wine and made a continue on motion or comment.

By the time I was done telling him, we just sat there for a moment. Then it was his turn to talk. "You are one classy lady May. Any other mom might have gone through the roof. It was too bad it made the kids not want to play soccer anymore. And I hate to think how living next store or down the street from these women must have felt at the time. Then to have Tag leave you the next week and to deal with those rumors and comments how you were too menopausal to keep a husband let alone a house together. You had no control over the grass saboteurs."

His soothing timber caring voice lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I had not talked with anyone about all this until tonight. I swept that incident or incidences if you want to look at it that way, under the rug of my heart. I had gone on with life like it had never happened and ignored all the hush back talking after Tag left. Months went by and then two houses down the street got foreclosed on, and all their toys reprocessed. One of the people was the mom that started it all. So I didn't feel sad, I felt Karma satisfied.

I took a deep breath in and sighed as he squeezed my hand.

"You know." His voice was so soothing to my soul right now. "In the short time I've lived here I've seen nothing but class out of you. Dealing with Jolene and Tag, you've shown class. Dealing with Irene next store, you've been nice. Heck you watered the gal's flowers and plants, took up her mail, and she didn't even, so much as give you a thank-you card or gift for the week that woman was in Hawaii."

"Oh, don't jump your guns there bub. I did keep one of her magazines I wanted to read an extra week and lied that it had slipped under a table. I gave it back. However, I did keep it that extra week."

"Oh. So you do have some bad girl in ya." He laughed, and I laughed with him as tears of joy filled my eyes.

He continued on with a serious note to his voice, yet caring and smooth. "Look, women like that, that show dramatic shows of expression, are only deflecting off their own life and the hidden mishaps that lie beneath their rugs. Sometimes it takes a ringleader, a bully so to speak, to rally the troops and make more out of it than it really is. Sometimes life is too stressful to give the answers or react the way you wish you did. However, that's just a small part of everyone's life. Most times, it takes the next big thing in gossip to happen, and you're off the hook. In the end, it's all slim tidbits of life that don't amount to much. Best to do what you did. Move on. Formulate a plan. Get things in order and be done with it."

I had to wonder if he was speaking from experience. I was sure he was. As he had such an intensity to what he was saying. He squeezed my hand and smiled at me seductively. I squeezed back, and was wishing the kids were at their dads tonight instead of coming home soon.

The sun had faded and the sounds of sprinklers kicking on, kids playing outside in the distance, and a cricket here or there kept a serene peaceful feeling to the night. I laid there in the deck chair next to him, holding his hands, looking into his incredible blue eyes, wishing this moment would never end but knew it would. Maybe he didn't want to talk about his remodel for a reason. Maybe he was enjoying this time with me as much as I was with him. Maybe I could be attractive to a man like Mark, because I was certainly finding myself falling head over heels in love with this man holding my hand.

"Penny for your thoughts." His voice was low, and the smile on his face was incredible.

"Only a penny?" I joked with him.

"What's the going rate these days?" He joked right back.

"I'd settle for one more glass of wine." I held up my empty wine glass, and he stood up and grabbed it.

By the time he came back with only a fresh glass of wine for me and a light blanket as the air felt a bit cooler, and a breeze kicked up I had to ask. "Mark? How come a man like you has never married? You're a catch you know. Quite attractive too. You could have a beautiful young wife by your side and..." He stood there mimicking my own continue on motion when he was handing out compliments. I stopped and laughed.

He sat on my deck chair next to me and leaned in as if he was going to kiss me. "I was close once. Young attractive woman that I had nothing in common with except my money. I wanted beautiful on the inside too, yet she just didn't have that. I made a few mistakes of my own and then just focused on my business. It was easier to date and not be serious than to seriously have someone trample on your heart. But then sometimes someone comes along that is worth the risk." Then he leaned forward and kissed me. A sweet, luxurious kiss. His hand wrapped up in my hair and brought my head closer to his, and the kiss went on until a voice cleared in the air, and a high heel was tapping hard on the back porch deck.

"Irene. Hi! Uh. Mark and I were just..."

She put up a hand to stop me. "Moving in on your renters. Classy. Listen, I just stopped by because I thought you should know that Mikey told me to shove it when I asked him a polite question. Your front door was wide open, and all the lights were on. I was concerned when no-one answered the door."

My face was blushing, but I didn't have time to react. Mark, however, did. He stood up and offered his hand to Irene introducing himself. He promptly made her giggle and flirt with his 007 bond agent ways of working a woman. Then he dropped the bombshell. "Actually, Irene, I told Mikey to tell you to shove it. I suggest the next time you drill a small child about an adult matter you check your manners. As for moving in on her renters, I was pursuing May with a kiss, which might have gone farther if you hadn't so rudely interrupted. I suggest next time you phone first if no one answers before you barge in on us. Have a lovely evening Irene. Please send Mikey back home when you return."

The woman didn't even get mad. Because as he said all that, she was under the impression, he liked her and was interested in her. It gave me a small pause because I wondered if I reacted that way to him. Then I remembered everything he had done for me so far, since he moved in and realized he was the one pursuing me. Not the other way around. So, I decided to add quickly. "Good night Irene!" Then I turned away from her to smile as big as I could. I wanted to fist pump the air with success. Instead, a strong pair of arms wrapped around me and whispered into my neck. "Where were we?"

Chapter Ten

The whole next week set into a standard pace. Jolene had four days of flights, so we didn't see her all week. It was like free money from her. I mentioned to Mark she hadn't paid the deposit and the next time she was home for a quick layover; she handed me a check for the deposit and last month's rent. I didn't ask, but I suspected he said something to her. At least, she finally paid.

Tag blew the kids off for his Wednesday weeknight sleepover, due to the fact he said he had a special weekend planned with them. They had no school Monday, and he wanted to keep them through until then. There was a small complaint from Kaitlin and nothing from Mikey. I sensed Mikey took it personally, but Mark stepped up and took him outback to kick around the soccer ball, then he took all of us out for ice cream.

Kaitlin's social circle had been expanding rapidly, and this weekend at her dads was biting into that time. She saw more of her dad now than before, at least that was her new argument as to why she should not have to go until Sunday morning, since she was staying Sunday night. Saturday night was a big sleepover night with several of her friends. I proudly told her she needed to work that out with her dad.

Every morning, Mark and I acted like a married couple with an hour to spare before we headed off to work. With Jolene flying all week, it was quiet in the mornings once the kids were off to school. We drank coffee, which I made his just the way he liked. One sugar substitute packet, a dose of skim milk. He usually made a light healthy breakfast, but one morning I had a bagel with Nutella, which he gladly accepted. It was that Thursday morning, Nutella incident, that had me frazzled. He reached out to wipe a Nutella smudge off my lip, and I ended up licking his finger. Before I knew it, we were kissing passionately at the kitchen table. I pulled away first, like an idiot.

"We have to stop. This can't happen. My divorce isn't even final, and you'll be gone in a few months. Where will that leave me?" My breath hitched, and my heart was beating rapidly. I felt stupid for ending a moment that could have easily gone all the way. He had been as much of a participant in the passion as I was.

He didn't answer. Because I think, he was just as caught up in the fantasy as I was. We weren't a married couple. However, he got to play one with me, and I got to enjoy what Tag hadn't given me in years. Attention and help around the house. Ok. I did have to be honest with myself. Since the moment, I set eyes on the man, that day at my front door; I was in a constant struggle with my libido over him. Now with the way his touch made me react; I had to get control of my feelings as they were spiraling out of control.

Thursday night Mark worked late. I was asleep when he got home. Friday morning, Jolene was there and the sexual tension was gone. At least, as much as it could be, as Jolene was stuck to Mark's side in the kitchen flirting, while I nervously toyed around the kitchen hoping, she would leave. I had so much I wanted to talk to Mark about, and I needed to clarify that we had to have some boundaries until the divorce was final. I never got that chance. The kids came in, and things were set into the normal chaotic school morning moments.

Kaitlin was happy to announce that she was willing to forgo the sleepover since her dad was taking them on a helicopter flight over the city Saturday night and the amusement park all day Sunday. I didn't mentally bitch because Tag had made a decent effort to be caught up on payments and just the time alone he was spending with them was golden.

The lawyers said about three more thousand in payments to me in the next two months should have us even, along with the fact that the sale of his business also paid off some of the credit card debt. The papers were close to being processed as soon as they were signed by Tag. He had to get a loan to repay for the equity of the house he borrowed for proven personal gains, once he signed. I wasn't going to be rich, but I wasn't going to have the equity line of credit to pay on anymore. In other words, I wouldn't be paying for his Botox, sports car or liposuction.

I wanted to throw a yahoo party after the papers were signed, but had heard that women that do that get chastised for it later. Also, not a very a good thing for the kids to deal with. Instead, I sent Tag a friendly email that if he signed the papers before he got the kids, I would not burn his high school letter jacket. I would pack it, in Mikey's things. He emailed back he would sign.

This Friday morning seemed like the most chaotic morning yet. Kaitlin had a new zit in the middle of her forehead. This is more serious than third world hunger. She started her period and felt miserable, and was bitching she couldn't enjoy herself this weekend. Jolene actually took her aside and twenty minutes later; she was fine. She had fed her a dose of Pamprin - maximum strength, did an awesome job on neutral makeup to cover up her zit. Played up her eyes with some makeup that was actually very natural looking, which helped subtract from the red flaming zit, she did a good job of hiding.

As I tucked a twenty into Kaitlin's bag, I noticed the super-size tampons, located next to a bottle of Pamprin. I had never gotten her the super-size, since I didn't think she needed them yet. Apparently, Jolene gave her those as well. My baby was growing up...into a drama queen, now she was bitching about the guinea pig that ate half her homework. I did a mental laugh, because this was the one night, I forgot to grab the pig she fell asleep with, and I had told her time and again to not do that. In my defense of nightly motherly duties, my mind had still been reeling from Thursday morning Nutella incident.

Mikey, my morning sunshine, couldn't find his favorite shoes to pack for his dads. Since Tag was picking them up from school, we were hustling around to get them packed and going. Jolene actually found his shoes under the couch. Mark found Mikey's favorite ball cap, which was the next holler out on his list of must haves. I went to slip Mikey the twenty, and he told me Mark already covered him. My heart flip-flopped.

As soon as the kids were out the door, heading to the bus stop, Jolene and I sat at the table in a slump and dire need of coffee. I had forgotten to set it the night before so it would be ready for the morning. In my defense, I was still reeling from Thursday morning. We sat listening to the pot of coffee slowly drip, and I was mentally putting a fast brew coffee pot on my birthday list.

Mark walked back in from getting something from his car and seemed very cheery. He grabbed three cups and prepped them the way each of us liked. As the coffee was almost done, he grabbed the pot and poured the three cups. He handed Jolene and myself our cups, then proceeded to toast up some bagels. When he pulled out the Nutella, Jolene gawked. "Are you kidding me? Do you know how much calories are in that dangerous stuff? I'll just have half a bagel with fat-free cream cheese." She said it to Mark like he was her waiter. He took it in stride and made her the fat-free cream cheese half bagel. Then he made a smiley face on that half bagel with a grape cut in half as eyes and a curved slice of banana as the lips and a quarter slice of strawberry that looked like a tongue sticking out.

"Ah. How sweet you are? Can we keep you?" She had the sexy voice on, and word got by me from the kids. Tag and her, are an off item right now. She was zoning in on my man. I spoke up fast.

"Hey thanks for all your help this morning, guys. Sometimes the kids get a little round up before going to their dads." I reached out to Jolene and touched her arm. "You're a champ with Kaitlin. Thanks."

"No bigee." Her soft voice spoke to me, but she was looking at Mark like he was a hot fudge sundae after a month of dieting. "She's adorable. When I find a man like Mark to take care of me, I plan on having a girl like her."

Duh. Did she not know how the selective genes of pregnancy work? They don't. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. Your kid is one part genetics and one part who you are in front of them. I wished her the best of luck.

Mark, however, excused himself to his office, claiming he had a ton of work to do from home. As he started to head out of the kitchen, he called out to me. "May, by the way, Gina is coming by today to help finalize some work before I fly out today."

My mouth said it, but I didn't feel it. "Ok."

Then Jolene surprised me next. "Guess you'll have the house to yourself sweetie. I picked up overtime with a flight to Vegas. I'm going to play there for a few days, and I got my shifts changed so when I start my fly schedule, I will be gone all next week. Tell Kaitlin to post her helicopter ride on Facebook, and I'll check for it."

"Excuse me. Kaitlin and you are Facebook friends?" I saw a long overdue motherly check of what my daughter was up to on Facebook.

"Yes silly. By the way, Kaitlin is borrowing a pair of my silver earrings and a purse for this weekend. I hope you don't mind me lending out my stuff to her."

I wanted to die. I wanted to be the mom lending her stuff to her daughter. However, I had Kaitlin at an older age and at mid forty, I was not exactly the sheik cool mom, she thought Jolene could be. That thought made me sad. I barely mumbled out. "No. Gosh, that's cool. Thanks for being a mentor." The last part choked out, and I tossed my untouched Nutella bagel into the trash. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling very cheery.

I quickly escaped the gabbing grasp of Jolene and told her I had to be into work early this morning. I dashed down into my bathroom, closed the door, and turned on the fan. I thought about reaching for a cigarette, but I had filled the case with water, in case I got this very bright idea. Wet soggy cigarettes didn't smoke, and I hadn't gotten myself a new one because I really did not want to take up smoking again.

Instead, I sat on the closed lid of my toilet. I pulled out a huge wad of toilet paper and began to cry heaving sobs and bucket of tears. In other words, I was showing Niagara Falls up. Minutes passed, and I got it all out. I took a few last deep breathes. Looked at myself in the mirror, and wanted to scream. Red, puffy face was not in season.

I quickly applied an overdose of makeup to cover my fallout. Then I put on shades and sprinted out of the house before anyone saw me.

Instead of going into work early like I fibbed. I headed to the small park I use to take the kids to when they were little. Twenty minutes later, I felt better. There were only a few little wobbly ones ambling around as their older siblings were off at school and their parents were trying to get them worn out for a morning nap. It was enough of those sweet chubby faces to remind me of how great a mom I had become.

My workday went fast, and I was ready to come home to an empty house at three thirty. Instead, I pulled up and there was Mark's car and another car in my driveway. I parked on the street and inside was a team of four other adults huddled around my kitchen table discussing what they wanted for a late lunch. Mark immediately turned to me when the woman I remembered as Gina, nodded her head in my direction.

"Hey there. Sorry about this. Last minute crisis. It was faster to gather them here then head me into the office, as Gina still had to pack me. She had her own teenage son crisis this morning. Makes your kids look like a puddle compared to her lake." He smiled and reached down and kissed my lips briefly, which got all eyes raised in an inquisitive glance. When he turned back to them, they looked away. Smart employees.

"Do you want Chinese?" Did I want Chinese? Was the world round? Duh! I mentally shouted.

"Yes please. Sweet and sour chicken. Egg roll. Hot and Sour Soup. Oh and an order of crab wontons. Busy day. I didn't eat any lunch." And since I threw my bagel in the trash, I was officially passed hunger status and moved on to starved.

Gina called in the order. I had no idea how much this was going to cost. However, when I watched her pull out a file of credit cards and reached for a platinum one, I figured this was on Mark. I did, however, offer her two twenties, which she shook her hand and head as a no. At least, I offered.

I wanted so badly to escape to my room, to pull on sweats and a grubby tee shirt, eat left overs and watch a movie in a quiet house. Instead, there was some serious engaging conversation taking place and a very frazzled Mark.

Twenty minutes later, Gina was down with his overnight bag and a hanging suit bag, which she hung up in the front hall. Chinese arrived. Which we all sat down to eat, except Mark. He said he wasn't hungry, but he looked stressed. As we ate, they talked about a recent merger between two clients. That talk seemed to stress out Mark more. I was totally in tune to his nervous behavior by now. The pacing, the neck rubbing with the palm of his hand like he wanted to wring his own neck, the proverbial lip biting and constantly looking down at his feet.

I wanted to reach out and touch him. Instead, I made a joke. "Sometimes watching two companies merge is like watching the alpha kid in the sandbox. In the end, the weaker of the two gets the sand tossed in his face or his toy stolen away. There are tears from the weaker one and a triumphant smile from the alpha kid. Happens all the time. Sometimes it takes a stern parent scolding the alpha kid to explain we don't treat each other that way. Sometimes it works and sometimes that kid is even sneaker next time."

That comment lit up Mark's eyes and made him smile. He reached down and kissed the top of my head. Everyone looked at me. I was blushing, but I had to speak up. "Let me guess. You're the stern parent this weekend?"

A horn honked from out front, and Mark's private driver was there to take him to the airport. Gina told him to get a move on. She sounded like his mother. Instead, he grabbed me by the hand and steered me away from the table, and to the front hall where his bag was. He handed me an envelope and laid a sweet gentle kiss on my lips. "Listen, about Thursday. Well, we both have a little something going on, but if I offended you. I'm sorry." He says this after he lays the sweetest kiss on me. He wasn't sorry. He was buttering me up, in case I was sorry.

"I made arrangements for you to have a full day at the Regency Spa. I fly home late tomorrow night. I don't want to wake you when I get back but..." He stopped and kissed me a bit deeper this time as the horn honked twice more.

"Wake me!" I practically jumped out of my work pants. He kissed me again, quickly this time. Grabbed his bags and was running out the door shouting back to me. "Enjoy yourself!"

I looked at the envelope in my hand and wanted to cry. I was going to a spa. I was being pampered by a loving, caring man, which has not happened in a long time. I was hooked and no longer cared what happens when he has to move out. I was going to enjoy the journey until it ended.

I floated, yes floated back to the kitchen. Where everyone tried to ignore me but couldn't. Gina pulled me aside and briefly explained the emergency in simpleton terms. As soon as the crew was fed, they would clean up any mess and be gone.

Instead, what happened was another hour of laughter of friends sharing parenting stories, and I had a few laughs of my own to share. It was fast approaching five o'clock, and they all had families to get home to.

Gina had a teenage son who was expelled from school that was wearing on her mind. I told her I would clean up and told her what an excellent woman she is. She cocked her head and looked inquisitive. "Mark boasts about you all the time." Then she blushed, grabbed her purse and corralled everyone to leave as she needed to drive them back to the office. They headed out the door in under a minute and then the house was completely quiet.

I danced around the house holding my spa day gift certificate against my chest. I replayed our Thursday morning kiss, over and over in my head combined with the two kisses he just gave me, and I practically floated downstairs, into my sweats and grubby tee. I came upstairs and grabbed the movie rental I picked up on the way home from work. I decided I would watch it on the main level TV.

My night in a peaceful quiet home felt like a luxurious day at the spa. I watched my movie. I went for a nice walk outside in the neighborhood, which I had not done since Tag left me. I smiled and waved at neighbors I hadn't seen in a long time. I felt at peace with my neighborhood and myself. So what, if I wasn't officially divorced from Tag. He left me. The divorce was evident, and nothing was going to change. I asked myself why I was hesitant with Mark on Thursday morning when I physically ached for his touch, and mentally I missed his interaction already.

At that moment, I knew things were going to be very different for Mark and me.

Chapter Eleven

Saturday at the spa was a feeling like I was a princess.

I had never had that kind of royal treatment. Everyone who worked on me had called me by name and treated me as if I was their best friend. There wasn't much of my body that wasn't massaged, trimmed, polished or refreshed. I had a new cut and color; I had a new white spa robe, and my fingernails and toenails looked like right out of a magazine. I received a complementary kit of facial care and make-up. Best of all when I went to tip with cash I brought they told me that everything was charged back to Mr. Miller. I felt like a kept woman. And I liked it!

By the time I got home, it was dinnertime and there was leftover Chinese in my fridge. Anyone who is a Chinese hound like me knows that leftover Chinese is like finding a lost piece of chocolate in your snack cabinet.

I laid around the house in my new plush white spa robe and nothing else. I ate my Chinese and watched another romance movie. It was still early so I flipped through the cable channels and found that Quantum of Solace was playing on a channel geared towards men. I watched a few minutes of it and saw the ultimate resemblance from the actor to Mark. However, thinking of Mark and how we interacted, Mark was a far better character than this actor. He was a keeper. However, I had a small doubt creeping into my mind that he might not want to be kept. That he might just be playing out a fantasy of this whole husband thing. I had to wonder if the going got tough would he stick around.

I flipped off the TV and realized I was just creating my own self-doubt. It was foolish of me to ruin something so magical. That I should just enjoy this for what it is. However, I had to wonder how all this would affect the kids, if Mark and I displayed physical attraction in front of them. I would need to discuss this with him to see what he thought. To see where we stood.

I decided a wanted a long hot bathtub soak in my old tub. Something told me that Mark would not mind. I poured myself a full glass of red wine and wandered upstairs into my old room, his room now. I opened the door for the first time since he moved in and realized not a damn thing looked different. Other than the fact there was a man's tray filled with change and a watch along with a few cuff links. I let my hands linger over his stuff and felt close to him.

I slipped my robe off and set it on the bed, which was made. I wondered if Gina did that while she packed for him, or if he actually took time to make his bed in the morning. I let that thought pass away. Gina was his personal secretary and there was obviously no physical attraction between them.

I walked through my old bedroom naked and went into the master bath. I set my full wine glass on the bathroom counter. The bathroom was exceptionally clean for a man. The tub looked as if it had never been used. I set the water to a nice temperature and sat on the ledge as the bath filled up. I wondered if some of my old candles were still under the sink in a box. They were. I pulled a few out with the lighter in the box and set them about the ledge. I lit the candles and with the night finally dark outside, I turned the bathroom light off and slipped my body into the bathtub.

How I missed this. It was the one thing I was not looking forward to sacrificing. Having my hot lingering baths on a stressful night was a religious experience for me. Sometimes I would lay in the bath reading a book or listening to music until it was just cool enough I needed to get out. That or my skin would be so pruned that I knew it was time. It was the place I went as things were falling apart between Tag and I.

I laid in that bath with my eyes closed thinking of Mark. How his touch made my body react. How talking with him, seemed so comfortable. The way he made my coffee and smiled at me every morning set my day for me. The way he handled the kids as problems arose. He could so easily step right into Tag's place, and things would be better than they ever were. I didn't think the kids would mind. They already made several comments about how great Tag is now as a dad, better than he ever was. Then all the time when Tag wasn't around, Mark was right there, filling the gaps I was used to for so long.

When I finally opened my eyes, I focused on the flittering light of the candle's burning wicks. I thought of Mark and the way he was right before he left. I thought of the reaction from his employees, and Gina, and one thing needed answering in my mind. Why was Mark really here? I never heard a word about remodeling or construction at his place. Which was the oddest thing of all. I knew that at some point, Mark and I really needed to talk. But for now, the glass of wine I just finished, the hot warm bath cooling and my totally relaxed body was ready for an early nights rest. I was anticipating Mark's arrival and hoping he would wake me like he promised.

I vaguely remembered lying in his bed and falling asleep. The touch of his warm hand on my face slowly woke me to the reality that I had fallen asleep on top of his bed, in his robe. I remembered pulling his robe to my nose, when I slipped out of the tub naked. I remembered the smell of him as I sniffed a long whiff into his robe. Then I coyly slipped it on thinking it would make me feel as if he was here.

I looked over at the clock on the nightstand that read ten thirty-two. As I turned back to smile at him in the dimmed light on the nightstand, I saw the look of lust on his face. Within seconds, he had his hands wrapped up in my hair, surrounding my head and devouring my mouth.

Our kiss sensually led from one moment to the next. Before long, his robe was off me, and I was frantically working his business suit off him like a hungry wolf. The passion I had for this man, since the moment he stepped foot in my house, came unleashed. I knew it was years of romantic neglect and desire acting out on my part. However, no part of him seemed to mind. In fact, our lovemaking was the most incredible experience I felt like I had ever had.

To drift off to sleep in the arms of a man you are in love with and just made love to, is such a euphoric high that nothing can compare. Then as I slowly woke to the morning of chirping birds and soft sunrise peeking through portions of the curtain, leaving the room in a soft glow, it had made for a great start of my day.

Every small move I made, Mark's arms gathered tightly around me. Before long, he was laying tender kisses on the back of my neck, which tickled. My soft laughter made him groan, and then I heard his tummy rumble. His voice spoke softly into my ear. "Either I worked up an appetite or skipping dinner last night to get home to you early just caught up with me."

"I'm starved too. What do you want for breakfast?" I wanted to cook him breakfast in bed and do all of this again throughout this lazy Sunday I envisioned.

His hands wandered a bit as he told me to stay put. He would be up with breakfast in a bit. I watched his naked, sculpted body exit his bed, and he slipped his robe on with a raised eyebrow look to me. "This looks sexier on you." I had to blush, as I was caught red-handed sleeping in his robe.

Within ten minutes, he was upstairs with fresh coffee, bagels and Nutella, and fresh cut fruit. The man understood my fixation for the creamy hazelnut chocolaty goodness.

We drank our coffee and ate with light banter. We didn't talk about his work or the kids. He did ask me about the spa experience, and I glowed with a review. He looked as if his chest puffed out with pride, as he seemed very content with himself for making that decision.

I laid a soft kiss on his lips and when I pulled away, I spoke softly. "Mark. I'm ok now. I'm willing to take this wherever we decide to let this go. My only concern is the kids."

He laughed softly then leaned into me. "My only concern is making you have that look of ultimate pleasure on your face again. Of course, we'll discuss about the kids later. However, I have something I need to kiss off your face." His finger took a dab of Nutella from his bagel and swiped it on my lip.

Only moments into our deep passionate kiss, the doorbell rang. Not once, but several times in a row, as if it was an emergency. I jumped out of Mark's bed and put on my new white robe. I gave him a stay motion with my hand and ran downstairs to open the door.

"Irene! What's got you here so early in the morning."

She looked like she had on her Sunday best and was polished within an inch of her life. I caught my disheveled sex look in the mirror before I slung open the door. I watched her hold up a pair of Mikey's grungy shoes in her hand that was wearing a rubber glove. "Mikey left these." She said the 'these' like his shoes were a disease. Then without me inviting her in she stepped inside as she handed off the shoes. I sarcastically asked if she would like to come in.

Of course, it was stupid of me to think Mark would stay upstairs. He sauntered down the stairs in only his robe, and you would have thought Irene was watching Ms. America walk down those stairs to accept a crown. Her eyes lit up like the fourth of July, and her entire demeanor changed from icky shoes to yummy man in a flash. I'd seen that look from Jolene many a times, but this woman had the skit down pat.

I watched her quickly remove the rubber glove and hand it to me, and then she extended her hand out to Mark so that he could what? Shake it? Kiss it? Instead, he shoved his hands into his robe pocket and stayed a few steps from the bottom of the stairs. Irene would have to either run up to him or deal with the fact that his body language read, stay away Irene!

I giggled lightly and Mark immediately sensed my amusement with Irene just as funny. However, before I could say anything, his professional serious voice spoke up. "What brings you by so early on this Sunday morning Irene? Cat got away and in a tree? Dog run down the street, and you need to recruit helpers to catch him?"

I held up Mikey's grungy shoes to Mark with Irene's back to me. He finished her off like a grand finale. "I see. Mikey left his shoes at your place. Perhaps if this happens again you would be so kind as to leave the shoes at the front door as May and I were enjoying breakfast in bed." Then he added as he looked at me with that smile that makes any woman want to drop to her knees. "Together."

Irene turned her back to Mark and went from that man makes me drool to, May you've been holding out on me. I had long ago quit with the neighborhood gossip of who might me doing whom except for my soccer incident blow-up. I accused a lot of folks of doing a lot of other folks in the neighborhood. Looking back, deflecting their comments about Tag and me was not exactly the mature way to handle it.

Irene puffed out her cheeks and blew out the air she was holding. "Well. Good day then." She was gone and I practically slammed the door behind her.

Mark walked the rest of the way down the stairs and gathered me up for a kiss. I couldn't help myself and broke out in the longest laughing fit I had experienced in a long time. When I was done, Mark guided me back upstairs.

He didn't have to work hard to keep that smile on my face.

Chapter Twelve

Our morning turned into a leisurely afternoon. However, Mark did seem distracted by a phone call. He mentioned he had to go to his house to take care of something, and I popped out twenty questions about his remodel. What was being done exactly? How long were they going to take? Then my last question got a funny look. When was he going to move back home?

He never really answered a one of them with a direct answer. I got all sorts of weird thoughts in my head. What if he had a sick and dying wife at home I didn't know about. What if he had a weird fetish, and he didn't ever want to divulge it to me. What if this was just a passing fantasy that he was fulfilling and after last night and this morning, he could walk away fulfilled and get back to his normal life. I, on the other hand, would be entirely crushed.

I knew the kids wouldn't be back until Monday so as he came down dressed in nice casual clothes and tried to kiss me. I held him off with my hands. "We need to talk. Seriously. I need some answers from you, not indirect diversions that I've been getting. I get the sense that something is amiss. I don't understand why you can't answer my questions about your remodel or when you think you might be moving back home."

His eyes softened, and he laid a sweet kiss on my forehead. "You worry for nothing. It's just complicated and confusing. As far as moving home, after last night you've convinced me to stay a very long time." His voice held a sexy tone to it, and I started to melt.

Maybe I was overreacting. However, I knew when a man was giving me the runaround. Tag had been an expert at it all our married life. Then, when his affair kicked up, I had chosen to ignore the signs. Something was not quite right in Mark Millers life, and I was going to get an answer and soon. In the meantime, I let him kiss me foolishly until I was light-headed and then he was out the door and gone.

Normally, this time of year, so close to school being out, I would be working feverishly in my yard. Prepping the grass and flowerbeds. Getting my large pots ready to have annuals planted and perusing the garden magazines or books to see what I wanted to plant again this year to wow the neighbors. Every year, I added this or that to the yard. Each time it got glorious reviews from neighbors. Two years in a row, I won the yard of the year contest. However, Irene made sure that at Christmas, she was the golden globe winner of holiday lights. More than once we thought, she caused the grid system a temporary blackout.

This year I was only thinking about how nice it was to finally, make ends meet, for the most part. How maybe, the kids might want to play fall soccer. Then I thought of the spectacle I made of myself and thought not. Besides, Kaitlin was thinking cheerleading next year and Mikey mentioned he wanted to try basketball this fall. He mentioned Tag's condo had a court, and his dad and him were shooting hoops. That warmed my heart; after all, Tag had been a high school captain of the basketball team. The thought of captain brought me back around to Mark, my current choice of captains.

I thought about falling asleep in his robe, in his bed, last night. I thought about the way he woke me and the way we made love. I took a deep breath and sighed. I felt every bit in love as a woman could feel at this moment. However, life was calling, and my house was empty.

I knew I had loads of laundry to do. Two stinky guinea pig cages to change and a list a mile long of to-do's, fix-it's and mend-it's. Things I had put off as I was always working three part-time jobs. Then once my roomies moved in, life took over and seemed crazier with them, then without them.

I pulled myself up from the kitchen table as I gulped the last sip of now cold coffee. I went to my room to throw on 'mom gets it done' clothes and started tackling my list with gusto.

Hours went by swiftly and I had fixed, mended and repaired quite a bit. I was feeling a bit of hunger and went to the fridge to see what I could find. When I opened it, there was a note to Gina to restock again accordingly on Mark's shelf. I wondered what accordingly meant. I could offer to help Gina by shopping for Mark, but I got the sense, he meant the kid's food as well. I left the note where it was and grabbed a yogurt and an apple.

Late afternoon was fast approaching, and I was deep into folding laundry when the doorbell rang. I went to answer and was surprised to find Gina standing there with her arms loaded with groceries.

"Hi." I opened the door and held it open for her.

"I have Mark's key, but I wasn't sure to use since it was Sunday, and you were home. I need to unload these quickly and then get Mark packed to fly out. He has to fly out tonight urgently, and he won't be home for a few days."

I paused as my heart dropped to the floor. Was this it? The big blow off. Was he going to disappear into the night now that the fantasy was fulfilled? Now that I seemed back on my feet and my knight in shining armor had his fill. I had a hard time swallowing down the lump in my throat.

My quiet stillness didn't stop Gina from talking. She continued on from the kitchen as if I was right there next to her. "Something came up. Mark's working hard right now to get things straightened away. I already planned on shopping for his food today and getting all his dry cleaning. You know, ever since Marked moved in here, he's rarely at the office. However, that might change soon. I think you need to be aware of a lot of things going on May. Because I get the feeling you might feel left on the sidelines if I don't tell you." She said the last part as she came back to where I was holding the door open still and standing there unable to move listening to her.

She grabbed the door from my hand and closed it, then led me to the kitchen to sit down. "Sit." She sat across from me at the table. As soon as I sat, I looked at her with a confused look. "I get you have questions. Mark mentioned he has avoided telling you, but I know Mark. I wouldn't be where I was at if I didn't know him. I can see this ending one of two ways but first you need to know why Mark's here. This has, unfortunately, it as has a lot to do with me. See I have worked for Mark for enough years to know when he is in deep. And sister, he is in deep. I know that he also refuses to lay his heart on the line or get it broken and more often than not, one time excluded, he tends to create a distance and finds a way to... How shall I put this? Not leave but not be available. I deal with the ones that get all crazy hectic trying to chase him down. And quite frankly, with my niece and nephew and the death of my sister, I have decided to put a stop to a lot of things. From my perspective, you need to be informed. Perhaps it's not my place but I am the one that will end up dealing with any mess in the end."

As Gina rambled on, I let certain words stick in my head. Questions. Avoiding. Ending. Unfortunately. Broken. Excluded. Distance. Hectic. But the words that hurt the most, like a knife to my heart, was 'mess in the end'. I wondered if he sent Gina to do his dirty work. Then why was she here stocking his groceries and gathering his dry cleaning up.

I cleared my throat and squeezed my eyes that wanted to burst with tears. "What exactly are you saying Gina?" It didn't come out nice or pleasant. It also matched the level my blood was boiling to at this second.

"I'm saying this is all a farce. Look. It's like this. I got the kids when my sister died. I worked twenty-four seven for Mark. Then all hell broke loose, and he didn't get what it took to run a family. I quit, and he begged me to come back. I told him he had to walk a mile in my shoes before I agreed to stay on. Thus, you come along and needed a renter. Now you were one of many that I checked into, but I did a little investigative work, and you were the classic single mom on the verge of a breakdown. I wanted Mark to see the good, the bad and the really ugly of single momhood. Instead, the man fell in love with you and your family. By what I can comprehend, you do a bang up job of getting things done and taking care of business."

I sat there hearing what she said roll around in my brain like a crazy dog chasing its tail. I heard what she said first. The word farce echoed out. What we had was not a farce, but why lie to me. Why all the secrecy and why was Gina here stocking his food instead of packing him up. The 'farce' was over. She was telling me this why?

"Why?" My voice sounded distant to my own ears.

She had a look of concern to her. By what Mark had told me, and the little time I had spent with her, I found her to be a very direct, get to the point and down to business kind of woman. Brass tacks and all that business. Unlike me, who wore my heart on my sleeve. Well. Not always. I had become a woman scorned and found people to be distrusting. Now I found myself not trusting Mark, and that was not good for there to be an 'us'.

I spoke up louder with certainty. "Why did Mark not tell me all this himself? Why the invasive maneuvers to avoid my questions? Why are you telling me this?" I practically screamed the last part. I was mad. Not so much at Gina but she was being the barrier of bad news.

"Look. Mark has no idea that I'm telling you this. I know he's planning to. However, he was planning to a long time ago. I'm telling you this because I am his personal secretary and this relationship he has with you has caused more than enough trouble with his business. He is always distracted. He's not at the office. He brushes off clients to spend time with you. He's basically making my life impossible again. I now have two kids to care for, and I'm not willing to go looking for another job. Therefore, I decided this needed to end. Mark needs to move back home and get back to business. I don't care if you two date, but having him live here in this fantasy as it has become, is not working for his company."

She was harsh and straightforward. This was more about her then Mark. I didn't know who to be madder at. Mark for the lies and misleading me. Gina for telling me. Mark for neglecting his company and employees. Gina for thinking this was any of her damn business. I wanted to blow like a volcano eruption. My blood was boiling, and my hands were trembling.

I watched her get up and put the last of the groceries away, and then turn to me. "Look. I'm sure I will be in big trouble for this, but I also know Mark. It wasn't going to last anyway. He hasn't let any woman get this close to his heart in a long time. It was bound to end sooner or later."

I stood up and put my hands on my hips. "And you're so sure of this because...." She didn't answer. "I suggest you leave my house now. I don't see you needing to come back again. Tell Mark he needs to get his things packed and out by tonight." I turned on my heels, grabbing my purse and keys out off a hook by the door, and I practically peeled out of my driveway.

By the time I made it to the back parking lot of an abandoned building, a mile away, I was in full tears like a river mode. My heart had just been officially broken. Worse than what Tag had done. At least with Tag, I saw it coming inch by inch. With Mark, he had just left me with the biggest smile on my face in a long time, this morning. How was I going to recover from this?

I sat in that parking lot, not answering the calls from Mark on my cell phone. I waited until I knew from his messages, that I had listened to repeatedly to, that he was gone on his flight. He begged me to call him. He apologized for Gina, for the lies, for the fact that this client's business all came at a bad time. His last message told me that the alpha kid in the sandbox client just grew sneaker, and it was going to take a few days to straighten this out, to call him when I felt up to it.

He had the audacity to end that call with a simple 'I love you'. I felt my whole world crumble apart, because I loved him too, but could I trust him?

Chapter Thirteen

Sunday started out so incredible and then fell apart so badly. I tried several times to call Mark back in the middle of the night, but just hung up before I ever finished dialing the number. It wasn't fair to Mark or his business to get overly dramatic at this point.

With the impact of Gina's statements rolling around in my head, the messages from Mark, I replayed repeatedly, listening to them on my cell phone. I felt like things had gone from fantastic to foiled.

I tried to sleep in my bed but only tossed and turned, making several trips through the house walking back and forth, and a few too many trips to the freezer for triple chocolate fudge ice-cream. Somehow, if I only took a spoon full at a time it didn't constitute eating half of it in a sitting. Although, I ended up eating half of it.

By the time the sun began to rise I still had to get into work. The schools might be closed for one of their crazy reasons, but I still had to work. Tag was supposed to bring them home before he headed into work and then Kaitlin was to watch Mikey. It was working for us for now. Sometimes I realized how mature Mikey had gotten in the last year and realized that he can come home alone from school, and I could work a full-time job. That was food for thought for the fall.

I made it to work, but I looked worse for wear. I trudged through the day seeing as I could do this job blindfolded and one hand tied behind my back. I asked to leave early, and my boss waved me out the door. He knew when I had my fill, and today I was just not going to be my normal productive self.

I pulled into my driveway and sat for a minute. I used to pull into the garage, but it had been filled with Tag's personal stuff I wanted moved out of the house. I had asked him to get it last fall when he left me, and I went through a rage packing anything that was Tag's up. However, it still sat in my garage.

I felt like an emotional cleansing was due and part of that was getting Tag out of my house. Then I needed to sell the house that held memories that weren't always the best and start new memories with my kids in a place where someone else took care of the grass for a change. I had thought long and hard about Mark last night and today, and we needed to end it for now. It didn't start off like a normal relationship. Perhaps we'll meet again and start fresh. I needed to do things to make me feel good about myself, like taking up bike riding again, or finding a cooking class of ethnic food, a yoga class or anything that was just about me. It was past due.

I walked into a house with blaring music, TV blaring cartoons and my two kids going at it. It was hard to tell over the yelling but something or things was not good.

"Kids! I'm home." Kaitlin came charging into the kitchen with Mikey fast at her heels.

"Mom! Please tell Mikey why some women do on-line pay per view porn." She stomped her feet.

"Excuse me!" I shouted at both of them. "What are you talking about?"

They both jumped in about something that had Jolene's name attached to it, Tag's computer, Mikey clicking the computer on and there was Jolene doing an on-line sex thing that had Mikey asking questions. Then Kaitlin started in about a Utube video and a UPS man and how I had ruined her entire social life.

At that particular moment, my head felt like it could explode. "Turn off the TV and music!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Kaitlin bolted to the front room where she had her music blaring, and Mikey hit the control button on the remote that was in his hand. It rarely left his hand, since Tag left, and that caused a gurgle of laughter to start from within me. Call it emotional cleansing, call it a nervous tick, but I could not stop laughing as my two kids stood there in silence now. Hearing only the sounds of my odd chuckles of laughter that came out.

Mikey turned to Kaitlin, and I thought I heard my son tell her. "Mom is having a breakdown."

I pulled myself quickly together. I was having a breakdown, but I was not going to let my kids know it.

"Now. What are you two going on about? Sit down." I pointed to the kitchen chairs. "Kaitlin first. Then I'll hear Mikey."

"Mom!" She sounded so exasperated, and she did several eye rolls. "You are on Utube in a chocolate-covered shirt looking crazy on the porch holding a UPS package! Utube mom! Did you hear me? My friends all have it on Facebook."

I calmly turned to Mikey as I put a hand up to stop the drum roll drama my daughter was building up to. "Mikey? What is this about Jolene, and you seeing porn on dad's computer?"

"Mom!" He copied Kaitlin's look of eye rolling and her voice. I gave him the eye, and he stopped. "I was just going to play a game on dad's computer and when I clicked the mouse to take it out of sleep mode, there was Jolene. She was..." He stopped. He looked traumatized and unable to explain what he saw. I put my hand up to my head as if that could hold my headache back.

Worse just took it up a notch. In walked Jolene. Promptly, at her heels was Mark. Normally, he would be a site for sore eyes. But not now. Mikey looked at Jolene funny, and Mark looked sorry. Jolene plopped her airline bag on the floor, and Mark stood there silently holding his luggage. The whole room filled with the voice of sexy Jolene flirting with Mark. She slipped a card into his pocket and told him to check out her website.

Kaitlin looked at me. She was not a stupid girl. I was like a deer caught in headlights. Mikey was still looking funny at Jolene and Mark was looking at me like 'help me'. Jolene turned to the sound of the front door. Tag's voice quickly followed and those two were flirting with each other in the front room loud enough everyone could hear.

I lost it.

"Kids! Basement now! Tag! Kitchen now! Jolene! Kitchen now! Mark!" I stopped there. I did not want Mark there at the particular moment as I was about to lose it. Just this morning I realized I had not taken my menopause hormone therapy pills that had been doing wonders to my mental attitude. I felt a hormonal crash of emotions on the rise.

The sound of my voice brought silence to the house except for the sounds of my kid's feet barreling down the basement stairs. All adult eyes were on me, and I felt like an internal volcano was just gurgling at the top about to explode.

"Tag. Let's start with you. Mind telling me why your computer has Jolene on it doing 'sex' so easily that Mikey could see."

He laughed nervously, and I glared him down. "May. Look. Jolene has this website gig, and I looked at it late last night. I forgot to click it off. Mikey woke up super early, when he moved the mouse, her website and video were still up and playing in a continuous loop. Boy sure got his first sex ED class." He chuckled. Jolene bit her lip and looked nervous. Mark had set his luggage down and was now leaning against the wall in a manner of observation. That gurgling just blew over. I lost it.

"What the hell were you thinking Tag? Shut up Jolene, I don't want a word out of you." She stopped whatever nonsense she was going to say and stood there scared. She even looked to Mark for help, and he shrugged his shoulders. "Give me that damn card Mark. You floozy. You come here and rent from me, and I told you no hanky-panky. You date my husband. I hate to guess, but I can only assume you were making this website video upstairs in the kids old..." Mark interrupted with 'ex' and I just glared at him.

"You date my EX husband. You are in my house using the extra room, as an office you so desperately needed, doing what? This?" I held up the card that Mark handed off to me and then stepped back against the wall as an observer.

I looked at the card, and it was a pay per view on line sex site. It had Jolene all made up to look sixteen, and in an outfit that one mother could only describe as not appropriate to be on a business card. "Christ. Sorry God!" I looked up to the ceiling. Hoping the flow of curse words that I was sure that were about to exit my mouth would soon be forgiven.

"Damn you Tag! I blame you. You were the cause of all of this. If you wouldn't have gone off with long legs, none of this would be happening." Mark looked hurt. Jolene looked like she was in trouble, and Tag looked pissed.

"Typical. Blame me for all your problems. It's not like you were wife of the year. Could have helped if you once did..." I stopped him with a hand to his mouth as I jumped out of my chair. For years, that man had asked me to do things I did not think I could physically sexually do. I was a diehard romantic and not into things that he so obviously desired.

"Stop right there buster. You have yet to apologize for your awful behavior. I want you and your stuff out of my house in the next week." I directed my glares towards Tag. "That includes your crap from my garage."

I turned to Jolene. "Missy it will do you no good to stay here a minute longer. I want you out tonight, your stuff out tomorrow and my daughter unfriended from Facebook by tonight. Do not expect your deposit or last month's rent back. If you look closely, I put a clause in there that runs right up this alley. Think twice if you ever show your face around here again."

Jolene looked at me as if she could spit fire. She grabbed her bags, grabbed Tag's arm, and they were gone in less than a minute. Not even a good-bye to the kids. However, I would deal with that later.

"Mark!" I was still reeling with anger, but his smile softened my resolve. "Look. This is a time in my life where I don't need people lying to me or my kids. What we had was that. Had. I need you to move back home and get your priorities in order. You can't possibly think that this can go on like this."

He looked hurt, and I was not willing to give in.

"May. You've got it all wrong. I didn't really lie to you. I avoided the questions. I was going to tell you when the time was right."

I stood and walked over and pointed a finger in his chest. I felt an aggression I had not felt in a long time. "And when was that going to be. Avoiding a question is as much as lying in my book. Get your shit and get out of my life." I ran downstairs as fast as I could. I didn't want him to try and get me back. I was so mad at the world and mad at Tag and Jolene, that at that moment, no matter what Mark said or did, I was going to let all that anger out on him.

I needed a fresh start, and I needed it to not include him until I felt I was where I needed to be. Then and only then, I might consider having him back in my life with a fresh start.

The kids were in their rooms when I ran down the stairs and into my room. I picked up the cordless phone in my room and dialed Tag's cell. He didn't answer the first time. On the second time, he didn't get a word in edgewise.

"Tag. You are to have a U-Haul here tomorrow to get your shit and Jolene's. I want those locks replaced tomorrow with normal doorknobs, which you better plan on paying someone to do since you can't do it yourself. You better plan on explaining this whole Jolene thing to the kids." I hung up before I could let him have a word.

The phone rang, and it was Mark. "May. I'm sorry. I want to talk this out. I want to help you through this. I want to be there right now. I flew home early just to figure this out."

I sat there for a second. I wanted him here now, helping me figure it out and making it all better. However, I was not some experiment that someone felt sorry for. I wanted him to love me for me, not because I needed him. "Sorry Mark. I'm not some experiment or needy case. Maybe someday we'll meet again. Please have Gina handle getting your stuff out. Sorry." I hung up the phone and turned the ringer off.

I felt every bit of stress and anger in my body. I collapsed on my bed, with my face in my pillow and screamed. My screaming turned to crying until my eyes burned.

Chapter Fourteen

I dragged myself out of my room about a half hour later. My kids deserved better than this. My yelling, screaming fit over mistakes other people made needed to stop. I needed to start doing things to help me through this menopause, and I was too tired to be mad at everyone all the time. In just this short time, I desperately missed Mark. However, he was officially on my back burner.

I grabbed my new white spa robe and headed to the kids shower. I peeked my head into Kaitlin's room. She and Mikey were playing scrabble as part of his spelling homework and talking to each other as if they liked each other. Sometimes blowups brought them closer together. It wasn't the way I wanted them to bond, but it always happened.

"Hey. Sorry about all that." I looked towards the ceiling, indicating what happened upstairs. "Mind ordering pizza. There's a twenty in my purse. In fact, there are two twenties. Let's get a salad and pop with that. I need a shower and then we three need to talk. We've got plans to make."

They didn't look too surprised. When Tag first left us, we did the very same thing. Ordered pizza and discussed our feelings, and then decided we would make it through just fine. It was a sobering time when Tag left us, but I made things as normal as possible. Seeing as he wasn't a huge integrated part of our everyday lives, it wasn't too hard. But now, Tag had re-worked his way into our lives and that couldn't change. If anything, it had to stay on course. Jolene. Well, she was gone and as far as Mark. I had to deal with him. Not the kids. However, deep down, I knew they would miss him terribly.

"Hey mom?" Mikey looked like he had been crying. "Kaitlin told me about Jolene's insecurities and need to get men's approval. She told me Jolene had a lot of growing up to do. That what she was doing was only meant for dad, not me to see."

I felt my eyes sting with tears. Kaitlin was really growing up to be a mature girl with an understanding of the crazy adult world. That didn't give her free pass to her over dramatic filled episodes over little thing, but I think I could turn a deaf ear once in a while. "Well buddy, Kaitlin is correct. That was not something, someone your age should be seeing. However, it is out there in the adult world. I don't want who your dad decides to date affect you, but it might from time to time. So let's just promise to talk about it when it does. Sound good guys?"

They both answered with a yes and then Kaitlin told me in a motherly tone to go take a shower. I watched her pick up her phone and dial our favorite pizza delivery place. I gave her a wink. She winked back, and I knew we would be ok.

The hot steamy shower did wonders to my stressed out body. If I had it in me, I would have taken a hot bath, but I was petrified that Mark would come back and find me there. Yesterday's memories were too fresh in my brain to go back to my old room, Mark's room, soon to be mine again.

As I let my hair rinse, I smiled at what was lined up on the shower caddy. One shelf was full of my Kaitlin's hair products, leg shaver and body wash. The other one held a grimy bar of soap and Lego characters firmly embedded into the grimy bar of soap, positioned in a dual battle form.

I mentally laughed. The next place we got, Kaitlin and I would share the bath and let Mikey have his grungy bath etiquette to himself.

My mind wandered back to Mark as much as it kept thinking about the future. I missed him dearly and wanted to give him a second chance. I could see how all this just got away from him. What was to be a walk in someone else's shoes turned into a fascination. I even felt a bit of admiration thinking how a magnificent man like Mark fell for an average everyday mom like myself. Although I did have a lot to offer. So what if I wasn't a single digit, I was well shaped. I could be sexy when I tried and had a way with men in bed that I forgot all about, and Mark brought that back in me. That brought a huge smile to my face.

I took my time combing my hair in the bathroom and using some of Kaitlin's moisturizer that Jolene had given her from a high-priced line of cosmetics. I was a little sad that Jolene was going to be out of our lives. Then I realized, not really. Ever since Jolene moved in, Kaitlin and I had distanced. Call it jealousy, it was. I was looking forward to not sharing my daughter. I wanted to lend her earrings, a purse, or even go shopping. I wasn't looking to relive my junior years just be the one my daughter wanted to turn to again when a friend upset her or someone at school made her feel bad.

As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, I heard giggling from my two children, and I started to feel my heart expand ten times. I needed that laughter now more than ever.

Mikey caught me first. "Kaitlin ordered a veggie delight for you two and a man's supreme for me, seeing as I'm man of the house." I rubbed my fingers through his hair and looked down at him sitting in front of the scrabble board then smiled. "That you are my son. But don't forget, sometimes it's ok to be the kid and let me handle things, alright?"

"Deal." He smiled up at me with his adorable freckle face smile and the look only a nine-year-old can give. The sound of the doorbell rang, and Kaitlin bolted upstairs. Mikey stood and stretched. "Kaitlin says the delivery boy is cute. She orders from him every time she sits."

"She does, does she?" I was not, NOT, ready for Kaitlin to date. Ogling boys, ok, but not dating.

I told Mikey there was a five in it for him if he ran upstairs and caused interference. I needed to toss on some comfy clothes, and then I would be up.

While changing in my room, I couldn't help myself but to check my messages. There were a few more from Mark. Gina would be by to pack up tomorrow with a final rent check. That, when I was ready to talk to him, he would be there. There was a last sad note comment that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, he missed me already and loved me. I turned my phone back off and took a deep breath. I missed him too.

We gobbled the pizza and salad up like we were starved. Then Mikey wanted to head out and hang with the kids in the neighborhood. Kaitlin got a three-hour sitter gig down the street, and I told her to tell them she would be there in fifteen minutes.

As soon as Mikey was gone, I sat Kaitlin down on the couch. "I want to apologize about the Utube video." I went on to explain that day and what happened and we both started to laugh until we cried. We decided to tell all her friends that her mom's twin sister was in town that weekend and was watching the house while her mom was at work. She's back at the insane asylum, and that it's not cool to make fun of mental people.

Then my Kaitlin decided we needed to talk about Mark. It was very caring and mature of her, and it made my heart soar. "Do you love him mom? Because he's really into you. He has been for a long time. Sometimes I watch him watching you, and think how cool that is. Dad was never like Mark was with you. You can't just throw that away." My heart twitched with the pain, I was feeling like I was missing Mark.

"I think I do. Things just starting heating up. But Kaitlin, you guys are my life. I don't like when I'm misled, and Mark did that. Maybe without a hardened heart but all the same, I gave him several times to explain himself. For now, I just want to do a few things for me. However, I need your help in doing them and possible some patience as well."

"Hit it to me sister." She joked.

I told her about my need to work full time so that money wouldn't be tight, and I felt appreciated. She quickly told me how much she and Mikey appreciate me, but she understood. We talked on about having to sell the house. The high mortgage wasn't worth it, and with working, it would be nice to find a nice condo division that had a pool for the summer. Her eyes instantly lit up.

We talked well past her fifteen minutes and got a call from a desperate mom looking for a sitter. I gave her a big hug and a kiss, and she was off. That left me sitting in an empty house by myself, wishing I had not chased Mark away. He wanted to explain and apologize. However, my hormonal emotional state was so fragile lately, I realized I needed to get more proactive in handling my menopause.

Better things were on the horizon, and I could feel it. It might not include a man who stole my heart, but it would include me taking better care of me. I opened my laptop and started looking at jobs and work out places, along with that agent's number that helped me rent out the house.

Chapter Fifteen

"Hey May. You got a few minutes. I sent the kids downstairs to pack for few days. I'll get them to school and back." Tag had a solemn way to his composure. He handed me a very large check that had a 'you deserve it' in the memo section.

"What brought this on?" I knew this had been too good to be true, then super crappy, and now they were looking up. I was questioning as to whether or not this was Tag acting on the good to be true side or Tag was up to something soon to be crappy side.

"Consider it an apology check. That I know you've carried your fair share of my debt for a while. Things are financially back on track, and I think the kids and you deserve a little extra when I've got it." He paused and took a deep breath. "Look. I know that things got a little crazy again."

"A little!" I let out a crazy laugh. I wouldn't call what all that happened recently crazy; I would have classified it more as it was just too good to be true. Having Mark as a roommate turned lover. Having Jolene as a paying roommate, who was never around and actually helped with the kids on occasion. Then, there was the amount that Mark had done, now that he was gone, I felt it all. No more morning or evening talks with a man who intrigued me. No more coffee ready for me with a sexy smile, as soon as the kids were off to school.

Tag started off by trying to sound apologetic yet it came out like he was making excuses. "Ok. Look. You and I never had the best of relationships towards the end, but it wasn't all bad. Sure I may have crossed the line a time or two."

I interrupted. "Or three or four or five..." He interrupted me this time with his fingers to my lips. It did absolutely nothing to my libido like it did when Mark did that. However, it did shut me up as I looked tersely at him with a don't touch me look. He put his hands up in the air and backed off.

"Alright. I screwed up with a lot of things, but I'm making good. You said so yourself, financially things are back on track. As much as I hate to admit it, but when Mark was in your life, you seemed so happy. Now that he's gone. You don't. I wasn't going to tell you this. Mostly, because of my pride. Mark had something to do with the lawyers getting a move on in the divorce, and you getting everything and me, basically nothing. Mark was the one that called me shortly after he moved in and laid a few remarks down about what could happen if I didn't step up to the plate soon with the kids involvement and with getting you the money you deserved. I was mad at first. Pissed actually. But dating Jolene, she opened my eyes to a few things. She kind of joined forces with him. That or he was that good he convinced her to say the things she said to me. He actually golfs with both our lawyers. Did you know that?"

I sat there quietly looking at the man whom I use to share my life with. I didn't miss him. I missed Mark. However, I just didn't have it in me to be somebodies experiment. What started out so beautiful ended up with lies and deceit. Maybe I was being harsh on him, but I still felt that if he was interested in me; he would have at least tried harder to get me back. Since all his messages, I never heard from him again. Granted I never called him, and I was rude to Gina when she came to pack. I already had all of Mark's things in a box along with his food.

Days later, he sent Gina to do his dirty work. I still remembered her smart remarks as she handed me the check. I knew I was dealing with a woman who had hidden feelings for Mark. Maybe he didn't want her, but she didn't want me to have him as well. Otherwise, she would have kept her trap shut. The check Gina gave me wasn't the normal personalized one from Mark's checking account; it was company check made out and signed by her. It just added a little twist to a drama I didn't want to deal with right now.

It might have felt great now, to hear all the things Mark did that I wasn't aware of, but deep down, I had my gut feelings he was always trying to make things better for me. As Tag talked about all that Mark did, my heart softened more.

Tag got quiet and then he added the next few tidbits of information that I knew no matter what, Mark had been a god send in my life at a time that I needed it.

"Jolene said Mark was really good at convincing her with things. Such as getting her to pay up on her past due deposit of rent and last month's rent. Like when it was a good time to get a few extra flight days, conveniently at the same time the kids were with me. She even told me he would convince her to step up and help with the kids in the morning when things were crazy and convinced her to stop complaining or telling everyone how to do everything."

I laughed lightly remembering how nerve wracking Jolene was in the beginning. How Mark had handled it so smoothly, and I wanted to come unglued. Hearing that he did all that made me miss him even more and that wasn't good. I was slowly moving on with my life. I didn't want to miss him.

"Hey Tag?" I felt like I had to apologize for a few things.

"Yeah May?" He was now leaning against the counter with his hands holding the edge behind him and a relaxed look to him. I wouldn't say he was attractive to me because we weren't there anymore. However, it was nice to have a friendly conversation with him and be so open with each other.

"I'm sorry for how things ended between us. I'm ok with all of it. But sorry all the same. Have you learned anything from all this? Because I feel like I have. I mean. There were times I came unglued right before you left me. Soccer incident case in point. But then, when you did leave, I just didn't care. I guess what I'm asking is, not do you want me back, but would you do anything different?"

"Yes and no. I don't know May. Things happened. I felt so trapped with you and the kids, and our life. Long legs was just a distraction and a motivator to do something. Then I watched a man come into my life and replace me. Doing a hell of a better job than I ever did. He was all the kids could brag about. Mark this. Mark that. Then I had to sell. Long legs took a fast hike out of my life, and I was feeling depressed. The only way into this circle of my old life was to date Jolene. She was an inside source. And not so bad in bed either."

I punched his arm and we both laughed then I stepped back a few steps to copy his relaxed look against the counter.

"Mark was really good for the kids and me."

"As much as I hate to admit it. Mark was good for me too. Taught me I needed to be a dad in their life or I could easily be replaced. He motivated me to write that book and sell it and start another business."

"How'd he motivate you to do that?" I didn't see Mark sitting Tag down for an inspirational motivational you can do it speech.

"He had a way of letting me know his net worth and everything he accomplished. He made me realize all that he could offer to our kids. If things were going to get serious between you two, I didn't want to be the deadbeat, loser dad. I wanted to show our kids, I was successful too."

I raised my eyebrows in question. I felt at one point he was a very successful business owner and dentist. I also felt like a lot of my hard work and sacrifice had gotten him there. Then he borrowed our money and did stupid things with it, and left me for a nobody.

I sat there quietly letting things sink in. Then I said something to Tag I wanted to say for a long time. "I'm glad we got divorced. If it meant you getting your emotions in check, getting back into the kids' lives at an active level, and actually picking up a screwdriver for the first time ever and using it, then it was worth it."

He laughed this time. "You still had to help me with the locks. I didn't know they could go in backwards." We both laughed at the memory of the first day Jolene was here, and he was totally clueless about locks on doors. "But May. I owe you an apology. You handled much more than your fair share. I treated you like a maid and keeper not a wife or lover. I see that now. Sometimes I realize when I'm doing something for a date like flowers, making them coffee the next morning. I think, hell, I never did that for May."

"That you didn't." I pushed away and went to get a drink of water. All this emotional talk and thinking about missing Mark had me choked up.

"Anyways. I could say a lot more. But May. We're ok right?" I shook my head yes, as I swallowed my large sip of water.

"Hey. I could call someone to fix the sprinkler and grass if you want?"

"That's alright. I can handle it. I think I can take a long weekend off from my new job. Things are going super good there. They know all about my life, and my new boss said she would be ok covering for me to take a vacation with the kids. So I'll use part of this check for that and part for fixing the grass."

"That sounds great. Let me know what I can do to help."

I laughed. "Take care of the pigs, would ya? And Tag. Be a little more discreet about who you date and what they do. Mikey is still trying to get over Jolene and the act he caught on your computer. In fact, separate log-ins for the kiddos. Ok?"

"Ok."

We stood silently for a few more minutes. Then I decided I had to let him know. "The house will be up for sale soon. I found a realtor. She told me to fix the grass, and it should sell quickly. So I'll tackle that when we get back. It would be helpful when it sells if you could plan on helping me pack up stuff. The big stuff I'm planning on hiring movers."

"Can do? You sure you don't want me to handle the grass?"

I knew he didn't want to but was offering to be nice so, I had to tease. "What. Handle the grass like you handled the locks. Sorry buster. It ends up being more work for me in the end."

He laughed for a minute then paused. "Do you think you and Mark will get back to together?"

I tilted my head sideways and thought internally to myself. Whether I did or didn't really wasn't any of Tag's business. But just maybe he saw how happy I was with Mark, and that happiness might make him feel better about what he did to me and us as a family. "Hard to say Tag. I guess I have a hard time trusting anyone right now. No matter what his original motives were."

He cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. When he looked up at me, he held concern in his eyes. "May. I am sorry. About everything. I didn't mean to hurt you or the kids. But I think we're all on track. Except May?" He cleared his throat again and smiled. "You two sure were happy together. I caught it in the beginning and was jealous. But towards the end, with everything the kids and Jolene told me he did for you and the kids, the way you smiled when he entered a room. He made you happy, and as weird as this sounds that made me happy for you."

I offered a hand out for him to shake. "Peace offering shake." He shook my hand with a firm grip and when our hands dropped, we both backed away. We were in a much better place than we had ever been in a long time. I knew that it had to be this way since it would be the best thing for the kids.

"One last quick question and tell me if I'm over stepping my boundaries here. However, you aren't thinking about dating Ashton are you?"

I had to laugh. Ashton called a couple times again in the last few weeks. I had a hard time coming out with a direct not interested comment. I always made up excuses for why I was busy. "I don't think so. Why?"

"Nothing really. It's just. I don't think Ashton would be a great guy for you. Not like Mark."

I had to agree there. I got lucky finding a replacement so fast after Tag. Especially one as terrific as Mark was. But I let my emotions get the best of me, and my anger from everything explode on Mark. He didn't deserve that. However, I didn't deserve the cold shoulder either. If only he would just call and apologize for lying about renting from me. Maybe I could reach out first.

Chapter Sixteen

The long weekend away to the lake was just what the kids and I needed. We explored, we fished, we did our own thing. Mikey beat us at Monopoly. Kaitlin was the Scrabble champ. I was just totally at ease with myself and life for a change.

Sure, I missed Mark. I missed him like the dickens. I had already decided that I needed to contact him. After all, he had made several attempts to contact me in the last week, but with the new job and getting the house ready to sell, I got myself so involved in my life that I didn't want to deal with that part of my life.

On the drive home, I wondered what Mark had been up to and if Gina was happy with herself for how she broke the news. It wasn't that I hated her, but an ounce of prevention goes a long way. She could have let Mark break the news and kept her nose out of it. I understood how she was the one to clean up the mess with old girlfriends, but deep down, I knew what was between Mark and I was special. Very special.

As I drove down the street to our house, I admired everyone's grass. Not looking forward to seeing my own brown grass. But heck, that was going to change next week as I was going to hire a landscaper to take care of all that.

Instead of brown dead grass, there was a lush sprawl of dark green grass laid out on my front lawn, sprinklers going and my pots were filled with exotic flowers. The kids started to squeal about the grass. They jumped out of the car and walked through the sprinklers making comments about how nice it was. Kaitlin noticed the pots of flowers and nudged me with her elbows. "He wants you back mom. Bad."

I acted innocent. "Who?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "I love dad, but dad wouldn't do this and besides, you two have moved on. Mark, on the other hand, this he would do. Mom. You need to give the man a second chance. Besides. As likeable as I am, not many suitors are going to deal with two kids, guinea pigs and an ex like dad. Although he's growing up."

Everything my daughter said to me made a lot of adult sense, and it meant my daughter was growing up too. Not into the drama queen I labeled her as, but a sweet understanding young woman.

Not home two seconds and her phone started ringing to babysit down the street. I hollered out to Mikey to get his luggage and told Kaitlin, luggage inside first then she could go babysit.

Five minutes later, the house was quiet. Kaitlin went down the street to earn her spending cash. Mikey was shooting hoops with Max next door, and I wanted to go out back and check out the lawn. But first, I passed by a very expensive and exotic bouquet of flowers on the table with a card from Mark. "Take me back. I love you. I miss you." It was his hand writing not Gina's. I guess I never got the house key back, and that would explain a lot of things.

I walk out onto the back deck to examine my new yard of green. Long gone was the dead brown grass out back. Stretched out before me was a lush green euphoria for me. I let my bare toes walk through the grass, enjoying the feel of the new sod. Then a hand reached out in front of me from behind with a bright colored flower from the arrangement on the table. "How's it feel to have your grass so green?"

I turned to see Mark standing there in his casual weekend attire. His bare feet standing next to mine and a flower of peace offering in hand.

"Something tells me you had something to do with this?"

His smile melted my heart. I took the flower he was still holding up. I listened to him clear his throat and watched his eyes turn apologetic. "I'd have to say yes, since I don't ever want to lie or mislead you again."

"I see." I sniffed the flowers fragrant smell as I held it under my nose trying to hide my coy smile.

"Things have changed May. Things are much different for me now. I've set parameters up that have to be followed."

"Which part? Gina or the experiment?" She toyed with him.

"Gina! Oh goodness, no more experiments." He teased back. "We've changed the way we do things. I do most, not all, but most of my own personal details now. I've hired an additional assistant. Gina is out of my personal details and works more on the details I use to handle. She's happy though. She should be with the bonus I gave her. But most importantly, I was hoping you and I could start this all over, fresh from the start."

"That's terrific Mark. For Gina, but I think for you as well. I've got a new job. I like it. Tag paid me a large check and with the job, I don't need to rent anymore. Although, I can now look back and think how adventurous it was, and helpful. At least from your standpoint. I wasn't going to admit this to you, but you were a god send."

He smiled and looked to me reaching for my hand, which I gave to him. "I'm glad to hear that May. I remembered a comment you made to me regarding that some other time or place and a fresh start, and we might make a go of it. Well here goes."

He cleared his throat, and I raised my eyebrows in question. Not but a few seconds went by, and he grabbed both of my hands as I dropped the flower in the grass. "I'm rusty at this so don't laugh." He cleared his throat again. "Hi. My name is Mark Miller. I'm a successful business owner. I like long leisurely talks on the back porch deck, crazy Monday mornings with kids, Nutella on lips and crazy ex-husbands."

I started to laugh and answered him in kind. "Hi. I'm Maybelline Briggs, but my friends call me May. I have two kids, two guinea pigs, two ex-roommates and one ex-husband. I'm usually too exhausted to go out. I like being pampered with my breakfast in the morning, long talks on the deck with a glass of wine, pampered days at a spa, and I don't like Monday mornings being hectic. But hey. A girl can't have everything. Right."

His laughter softened my heart as I watched his lips slowly lower to mine. When he pulled back, he had a devious smile on his face. "Then I'll take them all if it means I can be with you. Besides, I'm pretty convincing. Maybe the ex can take the kids on Mondays."

With that very enticing thought in mind, I wrapped my arms around him and began kissing him so hard we eventually fell back on the grass and ended up on our backs looking up at the sky and holding hands. It wasn't long that Mikey's voice was hollering in the house searching me out. "Mom!"

"Out here Mikey." He came running out onto the deck and jumped off onto the grass next to us.

"Way cool Mark. You did this?"

"I did." He turned his head to me and smiled. Mikey started running all around the yard. Then he stopped and turned to us. "You going to start dating my mom?"

Mark looked at me, and I smiled. I answered quickly. "What do you think Mikey? Should we take Mark back?"

"Heck ya. Hey Mark. Think you want to kick the ball around some. I'm thinking of joining soccer this fall."

We turned and looked at each other with huge smiles. With Mark by my side, I knew I could handle the soccer sideline gossip and comments. "Sounds good Mikey."

Epilogue

"Kids quit hitting the intercom system buttons. You're only one room away. That's meant for when someone is on one end of the house, and you're on the other." I let the sound of my voice carry across the two rooms they were in. Mark's house was so huge that the intercom system was going to be handy. However, with all the excitement in the last few weeks, moving in here was the biggest.

Turning to Mark, I molded perfectly into his arms and had to ask. "Why'd you buy such a big house in the first place?"

I watched his lips lower to mine and felt the incredible tingling sensation that always melted me. "I wanted a family like yours. Minus the ex of course."

"Of course." I let my arms melt around his body and my head rest against his shoulder. "The bowling alley, pool and vintage pinball games are a bit much, but they are Mikey's favorite. Kaitlin loves her dressing room, seeing as it's as big as her old bedroom. The fact they each have their own bathrooms is a major plus. The weekly maid service is the only way to go, and I love...."

Once again, he interrupted me with a quick kiss and a soft timber reply. "The private movie theatre room?"

"Close. I do love that, but most of all I love you. The rest is just icing on the cake."

"By the way, the way what kind of cake did you pick for our wedding?" He pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"I couldn't decide so I picked all the flavors available. It's going to be interesting to say the least." I held his hand and looked coyly over my shoulder as I dragged him towards our bedroom. Tag was due any minute to pick the kids up, and they had business to attend to on this fine Saturday morning. Just to be safe we replied in unison to the kids. "Have a great weekend at your fathers; lock the door when you go."

The End

Author CJ Hawk

Fiction - Adult Romance - Chick Lit. - Women's Fiction - Mystery

Ah, if only life were like frosted cupcakes. Gooey sweet frosting with satisfying cake, bite after bite, day after day. Life is meant to be magical or laughed at. Yes life is a lesson, blah...blah... blah...but magical makes more mojo. Just look to a rainbow and search out your 'pot of gold' and things will start to look better.

Please visit my website for updates.

hhtp://www.cjhawk.com

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Legal mumbo jumbo: This is a fictional story with no reference to real people or places. Any similar names are strictly coincidental and have been created in the authors mind purely for fun or reference. Every character created is from the author's imagination; every place created or name of a place is to give the reader a mental image of where the story takes place. If the story lists an actual city or state, all information in the story is purely reference or to give the reader a mental idea of the location but does not in any way dictate the true nature of that area. Any reference in a story by this author that could be seen as prejudice, is not a true semblance of the author's ideals, it is strictly to create a character in the story and allows the reader an idea of how that character might think or feel. Basically - it's fiction folks so let's not get too serious.

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