 
Where Are Your Words?

Kimberly M. Quezada

Copyright © 2018 by Kimberly M. Quezada

License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved. This eBook or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in Canada

First printing, 2014

ISBN 9780991912131

Kimberly M. Quezada

Edmonton, Alberta

Canada

www.cominghome2spirit.wixsite.com/home

For my husband, Rodrigo

who has supported all of my written words.

He is both my heart and my courage from

Which this tale is told.

Your heart's desire. By definition it sounded simple. What your heart wants the most. Did that mean a person or did it mean a thing. He supposed it would depend on the individual. Some individuals acquired materials to fill their hearts; some, the love of another filled them completely. Then the question begged to be asked; how does one recognize that this man or this woman is what someone's heart desires. Lustful stares, hot nights, entangled bodies. Well, that does help but it's more than that. Or so he thought.

So he waited.

He waited to feel it from her. He waited to be there for her when it did happen. He waited to be reflected in the eyes of the one man that she could love forever. It hadn't happened. How long had he been waiting? Well, he had been here since the day her senses awakened to the idea that people could be more than just childhood playmates. When does that start? He figured it was different for each person but with her, it started when she was just nine years old. A boy passed her a note in a classroom during silent reading and that was it. Attraction ensued. Since nine years old he had been waiting. So, when she started to fill her heart with words, he decided to move there. The stories she created, told through the eyes of young adults, made her heart young therefor he felt young. Some would say he acted like it but what was wrong with being playful. He didn't think anything was wrong with it and so that's how he remained.

His partner seemed more useful to her these months. Gut instinct was used by all on a daily basis and you couldn't have heart without gut. They enjoyed each other's company and they worked well together but Conal was now working more on independent callings while James sat. Her heart was no longer being filled with love from stories or words, but with worry and questions. It was creating havoc in these fantasies and the characters she created. Now, James felt it was time to be more of a guide than an observer on the sidelines, waiting for the right one to come along. She needed a push and a pull in the right direction. He couldn't fill her head with words but he needed to do something to help the emptiness in her heart.

If this dried up river of stories didn't flow soon, it would all end; surrounding James and Conal in nothing.

Now, who wants to live in nothing?

*****

For me, the beginning of the story was always the hardest to write. I got stuck on so much triviality that it was impossible for me to see my way out. How then, was it possible for me to be this accomplished writer, five books finished successfully, and I still got muddled in the beginning. Wasn't I supposed to have my processes perfected by now? I should have all the characters just sitting in my mind's eye, waiting to be unleashed, but there were none. The only thing that was ever there anymore was a blank canvas, waiting for its brush of color to paint worlds unseen; waiting to be sketched and shared. Where was everyone? Where were the characters to fall in love with? Where was the landscape of imagination? It wasn't with me anymore.

I played with the stem of my wine glass as I looked out onto the street. People walked by with various companions. They were all smiling and laughing. It was the time where work was finished and people were allowed to enjoy themselves as the sun went down. Lately, I wondered how freeing that would feel. So many things had happened in the last few months that the sediment of the idea of freedom blocked that space in my mind which was supposed to be my free flowing imagination.

I checked my watch and sighed. He was over forty minutes late but this was not unusual. Lately it had been getting later and later. I checked my phone in case I was so lost in my thoughts that I had missed a call but I had not. Grant was never the most punctual but now a few minutes late here and there was getting worse. In the two years that we had been together, we were each other's priority. Now, in the last two months, we were not, or at least I was not. I didn't blame him. My writer's block was frustrating for me and left me in moods that no one would want to be around. I understood that but at least be on time so my mood wouldn't get any worse.

"Miss. Donnelly? Would you like to keep waiting or would you like to order something to start?" My waiter asked me, breaking my gaze from the window.

"What?" I looked up to him confused but understood why he was there. "Oh, sorry, yes. I'll have the mussels please." I told him handing back the menu.

"Sounds great. To share?" He asked with a cheeky grin.

"I'm not sure yet." I admitted.

"I'm positive Mr. Burnett will be here shortly."

"How long have we been coming here Scott?" I asked smartly.

"Oh, I've been serving you for about six months now." He admitted while showing me the bottle of wine. I nodded my head approvingly and he topped up the contents of my glass.

"And in that time, is this the longest I've waited? It seems long to me."

"If he doesn't show in the next five minutes it'll be a new record." He replied.

"Great. Thanks." I said uncomfortably, smoothing the tablecloth.

"I'll put the order in. I'll bet you double the tip he gets here in three minutes."

"You're on." I winked bringing the wine glass to my lips.

It was two minutes and fifty three seconds. I sent Scott a playful glare before giving Grant a truly irritated one.

"I'm sorry. I know what you're going to say. I know." Grant bent and placed a kiss on my cheek. I ignored it. "Come on Shannon. It's not like I do it intentionally." He said sitting. Scott poured him a glass of wine, placed a menu in his hands and left quickly.

"Oh no?" I asked crossing my arms. "You have a phone Grant. Maybe you should use it. What was it this time?"

"I'm in the middle of this really big deal..."

"The deal." I nodded hearing this excuse before. "Perfect. I hope it's going well for you."

"I'm sorry." Grant took my hand and squeezed it.

I withdrew my hand and sat back as the steaming mussels were brought before me. Picking up my napkin, I laid it in my lap and started eating the food.

"Good evening Mr. Burnett. How's things?" Scott asked, pad and pen ready to take down an order.

"Great. Uh..." Grant browsed, not really caring what he ate at this point. "The lamb's good."

Scott nodded and receded back to the kitchen to place the order. Grant laid his napkin in his lap and studied me.

"How's the writing? Get any done today?"

"No. I went to see dad." I answered.

"How's Malcolm feeling? He had that cardiologist appointment right?"

"Yeah. He's good. Back to normal but with dietary restrictions." I smiled remembering how my mother placed a salad before him while she ate pasta for lunch. He almost cried.

"Ouch." Grant cringed. "Poor guy."

"I'm sure he's sneaking things. My dad won't go down without a fight."

"No he won't." Grant sat back and looked around the restaurant, seeing if he saw any familiar faces. "He's good Shannon. You don't need to worry about him."

"Yes I do. I can't help it. He's my dad Grant and he had a heart attack. It's just a little nerve racking to know that even my father isn't invincible. I always thought he was." I shook my head clearing the memory of Malcom in a hospital bed. "Anyway..."

"You need to get over this. Once you get over the shock of it I'm sure this blockage of yours will clear away and you'll be writing feverishly. When's this deadline?"

"Ninety days." I answered quietly.

"So ask for an extension. Let's face it; for a month you were pretty unavailable for anything; your whole family was."

"It's true. I've never asked for one. I'll talk to Kate tomorrow." I smiled feeling a little bit better that I may have the chance to procrastinate even more.

"You're not the only author to go through this. They all do at some point." Grant offered.

"Thanks." I replied grateful for his attempt at comfort.

"Mr. Burnett, your dinner." Scott placed a beautiful plate of food before Grant and he sighed with pleasure in reply.

"Thanks. It looks wonderful."

I held up my finger to stop Scott and Grant eyed us curiously as I pulled out my wallet and took some bills out of it. I handed it to him and Scott proceeded to count it in front of me.

"What's all this?" Grant asked.

"I bet her double the tip that you would only be three more minutes. I won." Scott answered.

"Nice." Grant said sarcastically.

"Only by seven seconds." I replied apologetically.

"That's great." Grant ignored me and cut into his lamb. "Great."

As we sat and had our dinner, we talked of the usual; Grant's big merger that he was chosen to oversee by the firm he worked for. The one goal he had was to become partner. To be called a partner, professionally, was the only word he dreamed of hearing these days. Personally, however, I don't think he ever thought about it. When we met through my lawyer, I found Grant enticing. He knew how to talk. He was dynamic and funny. His looks were striking; his sandy brown hair with natural highlights made any female envious and his baby blues lit up a room as he walked in. In the earliness of our relationship, I was giddy that he was attracted to me and raced to where he wanted me at all times. These days, as with everything else, I felt disconnected and wondered if this perfect specimen of a man was truly what I wanted. I loved him. That was the hang up. I loved him so much that he could get away with being late or changing plans on a whim and I would always end up enamored with him again after holding a small grudge. He made the perfect lawyer. He didn't need flowers or gifts of jewelry to apologize. He just needed to look at me that one way and my stomach would be in a flutter of forgiveness. It was happening now. I loved him. It drove me crazy.

"What are you staring at?" He asked, sitting back after his last bite of food.

"You." I answered honestly.

"See something you like?"

"Why can't I ever stay mad with you Grant?" I inquired finishing my wine.

"Because you can't get enough of this." He showed off his appearance after a long day and I laughed out loud.

"You are funny." I replied.

"Excuse me..." An unfamiliar voice interrupted our banter.

We turned our heads to look up to a middle aged woman who seemed nervous just to be standing there.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Um...my daughter is too shy to come ask so I thought I would for her. It's her birthday and...well...are you Shannon Donnelly?"

"I am." I confirmed.

"I don't mean to interrupt; it's just that she's a really big fan of your books. She has all of them but this one is her favorite. Would you mind...?" She held out a book before me and I smiled at its tattered appearance.

"Ah, Alexander. He's my favorite too." I told her sentimentally as I took the book from her. "It would be my pleasure. Where is she?"

The woman pointed across the room and I waved as I saw a girl trying not to stare but anxious none the less. I waved at her and blew her a kiss.

"Thank you so much." The woman said waiting patiently.

"Her name?" I asked opening the book.

"Marcie."

I turned to the first page, ready to write a message when I heard a faint whisper. My pen stopped, hovering above the page as I listened; a chill swept across the table, blowing out the small tea light candle and sending goose bumps along my arm in the process.

Where are you words...?

I looked up at Grant confused.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" He answered.

"Did you not just say something?"

"No." He replied looking up to the lady but she just shook her head as well.

"You didn't feel a draft or hear anything?" I asked looking over my shoulder.

"No Shannon. Nothing."

"I didn't hear anything." The woman agreed.

"Weird." I whispered.

I quickly scrawled a message into the book, closed it, and handed it back to the lady.

"There you go." I told her, still trying to shake off the eeriness that just came and went.

"Oh thank you so much. She'll be thrilled."

"I'm happy to do it." I answered.

We watched her walk away as Grant stood to leave.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Absolutely. Staying with me tonight?" I inquired, hoping I wouldn't have to sleep alone after hearing ghostly whispers.

"After today, all I want is to spend the night with you." He winked.

"You're such a charmer." I chuckled.

"It's what I do best. It's too bad your mom doesn't fall for it." He teased.

"Maybe one day she'll come around to your ways." I offered. "Let's go."

*****

My eyes flew open to a sense that someone was standing over my bed as I slept. I thought I heard someone calling to me in my sleep but no one was there. I turned over and saw that Grant was fast asleep on his back. His breath was soft and heavy, never faltering in its rhythm.

"Grant?" I whispered.

There was no answer. It wasn't him. I didn't understand this sensation that I wasn't alone. The dark began playing tricks on me; shadows coming out of hiding. Sitting up, I reached for my housecoat and nervously held it to my chest, peeking around the dark room for any persons that did not belong there. There was nothing. I let out a small yawn and stood gingerly so as not to disturb Grant's dreams. Suddenly getting the urge for a glass of water, I put the housecoat on, cinched it up at the waist and pulled my hair out the back. Even though it was June, the condo felt chilly. Air conditioning was a great thing but I often swore to myself when I forgot to turn it off for the night.

I padded down the hall towards the kitchen. Sleep lingered as a weight on my eyes and I passed my study rubbing them but something felt odd. It didn't feel right. I backtracked the couple of steps and looked into the open archway that led to the large space. It was lit up with a soft white light. My laptop computer was on.

"Hello...?" I whispered stepping into the room.

Obviously there was no one here and there hadn't been anyone here since Grant and I arrived. Mind you, we didn't linger too long in the living area, deciding in the elevator that the mood was ripe for a bed. But this wasn't sitting well with me. I never left my computer on. This was a heavily guarded piece of machinery. No one could get into it without my passwords. Every single piece of my writing was on this computer and I didn't trust anyone with it. Not even my publisher. No one saw anything until I was ready to show it. So why was it on in the middle of the night?

I walked over to my desk and studied the screen as I sat. I shook my head, in confusion, noticing that the power button was not lit up, indicating that this system before me should not be illuminating a dark room.

"I'm dreaming. This is only a dream and I will wake up and I will laugh it off during coffee." I told myself holding my head in my hands, staring at the screen before me.

I felt around the laptop, finally deciding to unplug the power cord, when something started to be typed on the screen.

Where are you words...?

The letters appeared, one by one on the screen, as if typed by unseen hands. I looked behind me to see if Grant was playing a stupid joke. I was alone. I turned my head towards the screen and sat back in the chair.

"This isn't possible."

Where are your words...?

"What do I do?" I asked myself.

Straightening my spine, I placed my fingers on the home row of the keyboard. I typed slowly, not believing this was really happening.

"I don't know where they are." I spoke softly as I typed, glancing at the doorway every now and then to make sure I was alone.

You must find them.

"I don't know how." I admitted.

You must find them.

The words repeated on the screen over and over again. It was a mantra of a demand that I couldn't interrupt. Soon the whole screen was filled with them, making my heart race but not from fear or anxiety. It was a pep rally in my honor and I was consciously aware that someone or something was trying to rev me up to find what I felt was so lost to me.

A thump from the opposite end of the room caught me by surprise. It was coming from the bookshelf that covered the wall. My dad always got a chuckle out of it when he came for a visit.

"Why so many book Shannon. If you don't read them then give them away."

"Never. I would never do that." I refused.

"Then you'll have to stop reading." He quipped.

"I could never do that either." I had answered.

There were so many good reads out there and if I wasn't writing I was living another's fantasy. Authors drew breath from authors, never copying, only gaining fresh inspirations. I would never let them go. And now, in the soft glow of a screen that barely lit a room, books were tumbling to the floor. I stood, entranced at the site before me. Two had fallen and a third fell to an opened heap on the hardwood floor as I stood and watched.

Remember them...

I heard the whisper. It was there urging me to take a book into my hands. I bent as another fell. The books lay on their backs, the titles staring me in the face. They were mine. Books written through the eyes of those that lived in them. It was never me that wrote them. I always told people that the characters told me what to write, where to take them, how to make them feel, and how to live. I was only their servant. Some that heard me say that didn't quite know how to take it. Others completely understood what I was talking about. I scooped up the one that I had held earlier today. Mine was just as worn as Alexander was my first. I would always go back to read his words. He was like a grandfather to me. Brushing my hand along the cover, I felt him now. I opened the book and flipped through it fondly, remembering every scene. Then, as I got closer to the end, the words started to fade. One letter at a time, the story was disappearing right before my eyes.

You must find them...

Still feeling like I was trapped in a dream while standing in my reality, I snapped the book shut. I picked up another and another. The same thing was happening. The words were slowly disappearing, being absorbed by the white of the paper.

"Shannon?"

I jumped when I heard him and yelped dropping the books that I was holding.

"What the hell are you doing? It's three in the morning?" Grant asked, standing naked in the hallway, the light from the bedroom spilling out behind him.

"Uh...I couldn't sleep." I told him feeling guilty for being caught but had no reason to be.

"So you're reading?" He asked motioning to the stack of hardcovers. "Come back to bed."

"I'm coming." I started shoving the books back on the shelf, not paying attention if they were in their proper places.

Grant turned back to the bedroom and I went to my computer, thinking that it was still on. The screen was now black. Moving away from the study, I walked to the bedroom where Grant was waiting with open arms. I slid in and cuddled closely, feeling like what had just happened was only a dream, and I was now safely back where I had been all along. I kept my eyes on the open door that led directly to my study. Drifting back to sleep the unknown voice stood in the hall, as a blended shadow, and kept watch.

*****

"There she is." Grant said as he took a sip of coffee from his mug.

"I have no idea why she's coming so early." I answered looking towards the door.

"Hello!" Heather called, allowing herself to come into the condo.

"In here mom." I called back.

The dark copper top of a head could be seen as she made her way towards the dining room. I smiled in welcome, seeing a bakery box in her hands.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh, I couldn't help myself. I craved cinnamon buns and I can't eat them at home or your father will groan about it and you know Ashlynne's on that gluten free fad everyone and their dog is trying. Please please please eat them with me." She playfully begged, dumping her purse and coat on the couch.

"I'd love to but I really have to go." Grant stood and welcomed Heather with peck on the cheek. "I'm already late. You two have fun."

"Have a good day." Heather told him.

"I will but before I forget..." He quickly stepped towards me and kissed me goodbye as my mother watched. "Good luck today."

"Thanks." I answered knowing he meant my writing, tension settling nicely into my stomach.

"See ya."

He left while Heather watched him go.

"Mother! He's my boyfriend. Would you stop?" I complained.

"I am never too old to appreciate a bum like that one."

"Ugh...God." I groaned

"So are you in? It's like alcohol; you should never eat these alone. Or, at least never admit to eating them alone."

I laughed at her and stood to get the plates.

"Yes. I will help you in your endeavor. Coffee?" I asked.

"Please. How's Grant?" Heather made herself comfortable at the table and cleared away his dishes that were before her.

"Grant is Grant." I sighed, placing mugs and plates down.

"What's wrong honey?" She asked opening the bakery box, the scents of cinnamon happily greeting her.

"He was just...I feel like we're missing something you know? We used to be so..."

"Mad for each other?"

"Yes and now it's..."

"Settled."

"Not even that. I don't know. Maybe it's just this dry spell that's affecting me to the point where Grant is even irritating."

"Well, if something's bothering you about him, tell him."

Heather dished out the gooey breads and I poured coffee into the mugs.

"How's dad?" I asked changing the subject, sitting across from her.

"Shannon, you saw him yesterday."

"I know. I just worry." I admitted.

"He's fine. You know he's fine. For the love of God, we didn't put him in the ground. He was lucky. You have to stop this worrying, mourning or whatever this is. You have to stop this stressing about..."

"Everything?" I finished for her.

"Yes! Where is this coming from? Talk to me Shannon."

"Is that why you're really here?" I hinted, licking frosting from the bun.

"Is it a crime that I want a visit? Just us?"

"Yes, yes it is and I am absolutely appalled at your bribe of empty carbs." I answered.

"When's the last time you took a vacation? Take Grant and go relax."

"He can't." I told her simply. "He's in the middle of this big deal thing...whatever he calls it. He's busy."

"Then you go. Go somewhere to escape here and get a fresh perspective. Lord knows you could use it."

"I'll think about it." I answered.

She raised an eyebrow as she put a forkful in her mouth. Heather studied her daughter with her long dark hair and green eyes. Both her daughters got their father's thick wonderful hair. For that, Heather was grateful, but both got Heather's green eyes. Witchy eyes were the family trait and they looked beautiful. They could also read when something was not being said.

"Shannon?"

"I said I'll think about it." I answered.

"Anything else bothering you?"

"It's stupid." I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"There is no such thing as stupid." Heather corrected.

"Yeah? What do you think about Ashlynne becoming gluten free?"

Heather smirked and glared.

"It's a healthy choice." She fibbed.

"You're such a liar. Come on mother. Say it."

"I will not. Besides, we're not talking about Ashlynne. We're talking about you. Spill."

"Okay." I surrendered. "Something really weird happened last night."

"Wait!" Heather held up her hands. "Is this about you and Grant and..."

"Mother!"

"Because, as much as I love you, I really don't want to know..."

"Jesus. No! Seriously?"

"I'm just saying."

"It was spooky. Not sexual."

"Alright. That's much better. Please continue."

I gave her a double look and continued on my train of thought.

"We were having dinner last night and a woman came up to the table to have a book signed."

"Oh yeah? Which one?"

"Alexander's."

"I love that one."

"So do I. Anyway, there was this chill and then a whisper..."

"What did it say?" She asked.

"Where are your words? It was really odd. Grant didn't say it but I heard it. It was coming from right beside me. Then, I woke up to this feeling that someone was watching me sleep. I walked to the kitchen for some water but as I pass the den my computer screen is lighting up the room."

"Did you forget to turn it off?" Heather asked taking some coffee.

"It wasn't on. There was no power going to it. It was off and yet it was on and it started writing. Where are you words? and You must find them. Then, books start falling out of the shelf."

"No..." Heather cut in.

"Yes! They fell out and I picked them up and the words start disappearing from their pages. Then the voice says remember them."

"Remember who?"

"Them; the characters I assume."

"Huh."

"Then Grant comes and asks what I'm doing, I wake up from this hypnosis, and I go back to bed."

"Sounds like an eerie dream for sure." Heather told me.

"It wasn't a dream. It was real." I argued.

"Shannon...you need a break."

I rolled my eyes and picked at the cinnamon bun not knowing why I just admitted my experience out loud.

"Sweetheart, listen. You're so tired. The last couple of months have been especially hard. You're stressed about your father, your writing and now Grant. You need to get away."

"I can't. I have a deadline." I got up from the table and cleared dishes. Heather watched me but stayed put. "What a silly thing to ask; like I have words hidden in a shoebox in the back of my closet that I'm keeping secret."

"Shannon..."

"Like they're drugs in the back of a toilet." I continued.

"Shannon..."

"Because it doesn't work that way okay. Sometimes they just aren't there!" I was frustrated as I sat back down at the table.

My mother waited to make sure I was finished. She put down her coffee and folded her hands on the table.

"I know where they are." She said softly.

"Where?" I asked, humoring her.

"They're in your mind but it's so busy with other things that their being held prisoner there. You need a break." She insisted. "Your father's fine, Grant is fine, Ashlynne is gluten free..."

I shook my head and laughed at her attempt of humor. If there was anyone that I was happier to have in my life it was Heather Donnelly. She had the simplest ways of making things better without falling apart herself.

"Go and find the words." She smiled softly. "Go. Not now, I mean later, when we're finished with the sugar. Sugar and bread is more important at the moment."

"Thank you." I told her quietly, knowing she was right.

"It's what I do." Heather shrugged it off and took a second cinnamon bun.

*****

It turned out to be a breezy day and some took advantage of the currents as they flew various kites in the air. There were rainbow kites and dragons, birds and rockets. Plastic and fabric pictures flew high above while the odd one did a nose dive to the ground or nested itself in a tree. The pond that I chose to walk around was busy with ducks and swans. I came to this park when I needed its solid ground to think. The pond was a good size, more like a lake in the middle of the city. I would never dare swim in it but it made a nice skating rink in the winter.

Stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans, I turned my face up to feel the breeze lift my hair away from my neck. The air was warm and I was positive the people that crowded the grass and pathways did not all have the day off. It was close to the weekend but I could see how some would prefer to call in sick than sit at a desk all day. That's why I was here. My desk was the last place I wanted to be.

I took a seat on the top of a lonely picnic table and crossed my legs under me. The bushes behind me rattled their foliage, welcoming me into their space.

Have you found them?

The question played with the wind as it entered my ear and at first I didn't think I heard it until it repeated itself softly. I rubbed my hands over my face deciding what to do. No, this was not a dream. This was me starting to go insane but maybe it would make a good book so I went along with it this time.

"No." I answered.

What's keeping them away?

"I don't know. If this is my inner voice talking you must know that."

I think you know why they don't flow.

"My dad..."

I think you know better than that.

I watched a couple walk hand in hand in front of me. As if a sign from above, it showed me what I craved but wasn't getting.

"I love him." I said quietly.

Yes.

"So why aren't I happy anymore?"

Does he love you?

I rested with this question, mulling it over, never really considering if what I was feeling about this relationship with Grant wasn't really about me but what I questioned was happening with him. Did he love me? I thought he did. It had been two years and I kept thinking that we were comfortable. All couples get comfortable. The last few weeks were different though. I didn't feel like I was a priority to him. I always made excuses that he was busy with his work; the big deals that he was making took up a lot of his time and mind, as did my writing with me. It hit me that I really had no idea what Grant was feeling anymore.

"I don't know."

Are your words stuck in questions over what your heart wants...or doesn't?

"Maybe." I admitted.

Find them.

"You sound like my mother." I scolded.

Your heart was filled with words. Answer your questions so it can be filled again.

I was starting to get irritated with this voice in my head. Mostly because I knew it was right. I watched the couple who had taken a spot on a blanket near my table. I was envious at their new exciting love but then was mistaken when I saw the gold band on her hand. Unless it was a really fast courtship, they had been together for a while. I glanced down at my bare finger and wiggled it freely. Was that what I wanted? Did I want to be married or did I just want to feel secure and loved in a relationship. It didn't matter. The voice was right. I needed my questions answered.

Jumping off the table, I went towards the parking lot. There was no time like the present and if I didn't do it now, with this sudden infusion of courage, I would never do it. There was a lot riding on this conversation. I only hoped that I was given a few minutes of Grant's precious time. As I left the park I watched the kites wave at me from their spots, just underneath the clouds. As they welcomed me, they now had to say goodbye and I didn't know if it would be the only goodbye I would have today.

*****

"Hey Donny." I waved quickly past the administrative assistant towards Grant's office. I never thought he would appreciate being called a secretary so I never did.

"Wait! Shannon. You can't go in there right now."

"Why not?" I asked.

"He's meeting with the merger people."

"When will they be done?"

"Should be soon..."

Just as Donny said it, a woman and man were exiting the office. She was gorgeous; someone you would see in one of those entertainment magazines, in the rack, at the checkout counter. The man was significantly older. She stood close to Grant, obviously attracted to him. I crossed my arms, feeling self-conscious as I had only put on some old jeans and a t-shirt. The ball cap didn't help me fit in either.

"Mr. Burnett...?" Donny spoke up.

Grant, still smiling at the advances of the woman, saw who Donny was pointing at. If he was in any other place his mouth would have dropped to his chest. Instead he hid it with a grin that some great actor would pull off when they lost an academy award to another. The two people looked toward me and Grant shot me a look as if to say what the hell? I mouthed the words sorry and turned away.

"Dinner tonight Grant. We need to celebrate. Seven at my hotel."

"Sounds good sir. See you then." Grant grinned. "Donny, could you see the Trotters to the elevator please."

"Will do Grant." He answered stepping into position.

"Shannon?" Grant said to me.

I kept my head low as I stepped into the doorway of his office. He watched me like a hawk as I passed his body. I went to the center of the room and he shut the door, putting his hands on his hips.

"What's going on Shannon? Is Malcolm okay?"

"Yeah. He's good. We need to talk."

"Now? Jesus Shannon, those are huge clients."

"Are they married?" I asked.

"What? No. He's her father." He answered, irritated by the question.

"Figures."

"What are you doing here?" He asked walking to his desk, ignoring my comment.

I watched him as he picked up a file then tossed it back down, obviously irritated that I had interrupted his day.

"I need to know what's going on."

"With...?"

"Us." I answered.

Grant couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. He ran his fingers through his hair and laughed sarcastically.

"You come here today asking about us? Shannon, this is my place of work. Those two people out there, they are the biggest thing of my whole career." He pointed to the door.

"I used to be the biggest thing to you. Me, Grant. I've been over and over it in my mind. To be honest, I can't write because I need to know why? What are we?"

"You are the biggest thing to me."

"Really? I'm the last thing you want to see these days. Judging by Miss. Trotter I can see why." I told him.

"I'm not doing this here. I'm sorry that you think you can't write because of me but I have never given you any reason to think that." He argued.

"You show up late or not at all. You call me when you haven't shown up to cancel on me. This has been going on for almost a month. We used to talk about futures, travel, us! We haven't done that in a long time. The only thing that you can talk about is your deals. The job."

"And the only thing you can talk about is heart attacks and what you're not writing." He snapped back.

I stepped back, offended at what he just said.

"I'm sorry. It's my dad, Grant. I just needed some support. I've been going through a lot and I thought you understood that. I've certainly given you all of me when you ask; which hasn't been a lot lately."

He watched my hurt face then slumped his shoulders in guilt.

"I'm sorry..."

"I should go." I interrupted, trying to smile but found the effort straining. "I kind of figured this was a long shot. For some reason I just had to have this talk and I'm pretty glad I did." I turned away and went for the door.

"Shannon, don't go like this."

"Have fun at your dinner tonight." I told him, opening the door. "I'm sure we didn't have plans and if we did, you just canceled...again.

"Shannon, stop."

I didn't look back but simply let myself out. This short conversation gave me a little more insight as to what was really going on. I just didn't like the truth of it. I smiled politely at Donny and only had my sights on the elevator. Behind Grant's office door, he whipped a pen across the room and sat heavily in his chair watching the city through his office windows, chewing a fingernail in distress.

*****

The mall was busy but the travel agency sat empty. I squared my shoulders in determination and walked inside. The lonely travel operator looked up at me and smiled warmly. I smiled back and eyed the catalogues that were placed on shelves. I only wanted crystal blue waters and white beaches. A palm tree or two wouldn't hurt either. There were so many choices and I took three, only because I really didn't know what I was doing. I just needed to go.

"Can I help you narrow down a choice?" She laughed seeing me hastily flipping through the glossy pages.

"Uh, sure." I told her.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Ocean, tropical." I answered.

"Okay. When?"

"As soon as possible."

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows. "I think we should sit." She offered, gesturing to a chair at her desk and I went towards it.

Getting comfortable, I put the magazines on her desk as she logged into her computer.

"I'll just look to see what I have available. How long did you want to go?"

"Three weeks." I answered quietly.

"Did you want to stay closer or be further away?" She asked while typing decisions into the fields of question.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going by myself so I guess the safest would be a good place to start."

"Well, if it's three weeks I wouldn't bother with the Caribbean. I think someplace further would be nicer. I do have a sale that looks interesting though. Oh my! This is where dreams come true. Would you look at that? It just popped up. It doesn't leave until late next week though." She turned her screen so I could see.

Before me was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. There was a turquoise blue ocean, white beaches that blazed as if angels had blessed them, grass topped huts on stilts that rested in the waters and men in kayaks rowing trays of food to these small abodes. I had never seen anything so amazing.

"Where is that?" I asked leaning closer to the screen.

"The French Polynesian Islands. Bora Bora. It's half price right now. I've never seen it this cheap."

"Wow. I'm speechless." I told her. "It's perfect."

"So it's just you?" She asked trying not to sound like she was assuming anything.

"Yes." I answered simply. "I'm in need of some space at the moment."

"Understood. I've been there myself. Space is a great cure all." She replied.

"I'll take your word for it. I've never really had any."

"You'll love it." She assured me. "Especially in a place like this."

"So it leaves late next week?"

"I believe..." She did some more searching on her computer. "Yes. The soonest flight is on the twenty fifth at six in the morning. That's business class though. There's a general..."

"Business class is fine. It's fine." I interrupted her.

"You sure?" She eyed me concerned. She had never had someone just plop down in a chair and throw this kind of money at her in the span of a few minutes. Not in this location anyway.

"Positive. Do you have a catalogue with that place in it? I'd like to show my dad. He'll question it for sure."

"Absolutely. Give me a second."

She stood and went into the back. I drummed my fingers on my purse as she searched her library of pristine brochures for the perfect one. This was right. It felt right. It was happening very quickly and wasn't that the way things worked when they were meant to be? I didn't feel nervous about traveling. I had traveled before, more for work than anything else but this was my first real vacation in years and it felt like it was supposed to happen this way. I needed space. I needed space from everything that had been happening around me that was distracting. Mom was right, I needed a break and if inspiration hit me on a beach, that's where I would write it.

"Here we are. I brought two different ones." She handed them to me while sitting back down. "So this is the one? This is where you're going on the twenty fifth?"

"Yes. This is great." I answered placing a confirming hand on the pamphlets.

"Okay. How will you be paying?"

Standing outside of the agency I hugged the ticket close to my chest. As if today wasn't filled with enough signs, a swimwear shop was two stores away.

"What the hell." I told myself. "Let's go all out."

*****

Grant finished in the shower and walked back into his bedroom. He picked up his phone and looked to see if she had called. Nothing. He had tried to call her at least fifteen times since she walked out of his office and not once did he hear her voice. His call was always ignored. He went to his closet to pull out clothes to wear to dinner. Shannon wasn't stupid. She took after her mother. Something had changed and it was his fault. Since the Trotters had walked into his office, Madelyn was always on his mind. She knew it too and Madelyn made it known that it wasn't just a professional deal that she had wanted.

He caved after one too many drinks.

That was three weeks ago.

He swore he would stop. He swore that Shannon had meant more to him then just sex with Madelyn. He convinced himself that what he and Madelyn were doing was strictly physical. The handful of times that they had spent lunch hours in her hotel suite was sex. That was it. It wasn't the intimate love making that he shared with Shannon.

As he stared at himself in the mirror he wanted to vomit. He spit out the toothpaste that was in his mouth and almost did. What was he thinking? There was no excuse for how he was acting. Madelyn was like a drug. She was hard to quit, even though he had to. He wanted Shannon. He wanted to work things out. He missed her. Shannon had been so unavailable since Malcolm had his heart attack that he grew jealous of him. Malcolm was taking up so much of Shannon's time. So what does he do? He acts like a jerk and fucks the first woman that gives him attention. Now he was losing Shannon.

"I'm sorry Shannon." He said quietly. "I don't know how to fix this but you don't deserve this."

His phone rang and he raced for it. Heart thumping, he looked at the number. It wasn't who he wanted to talk to.

"Yeah?" He answered it, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm almost ready. Will you be here soon?" Madelyn asked.

"I'm just dressing now." He told her.

"Perfect. I can't wait to see you." She hinted.

"I won't be long." He replied.

"Is something wrong? You sound upset."

"No, nothing. Just...it's been a long day."

"Oh. Who was the woman that was waiting to see you? Was that her?" Madelyn asked. He could hear the jealousy in her voice.

"Yes. That was Shannon."

"She's seen better days." Madelyn chuckled.

"She's been under some stress. I told you that."

"Yeah, you said that. It's too bad for her I've been giving you what you need though."

"Okay, I will be there in the next half hour. I'll see you soon." He cut her off not wanting to hear her talk about Shannon that way.

"Bye."

He hung up and tossed the phone on the bed. Holding his head in his hands he sat and breathed deeply. Grant took the phone again and dialed Shannon. This time it didn't even ring. It only went straight to voicemail. He didn't bother leaving another message. He simply ended the call and shut the phone off.

*****

"Heather! Would you talk some sense into this girl? She cannot go all the way across the globe for a vacation by herself." Malcom announced after I had dropped the bomb when he was done his meal.

I had purposely invited my family over for supper so I could tell them my plans. I enjoyed having them all here and needed us together after what had happened with Grant that morning.

"What is this? Shannon, you bought this?!" Ashlynne carried a tiny bikini out of the bedroom and held it up to her body. "Dad..." She sang

Malcom rolled his eyes and sent his hand down onto the table with an audible thud. We three girls simply started giggling.

"Heather!"

"Malcom, really. Stop." Heather scolded. "I told her to go for a vacation."

"What about Grant huh? Why isn't he going?" Malcom asked.

"Because dad, I told you. He can't get away. I'll be fine. Look where I'll be. There's nothing there."

"Oh my. Look Malcom, isn't it wonderful. Just picture yourself there, alone, with me." Heather hinted bringing the brochure to him. "Just look at it. She'll be fine."

Malcom picked the brochure from her hand and glanced at it.

"Take lots of photos and tell me everything. And don't be all shy. Meet some hunk of a man that will keep you company on all those moonlit nights." Ashlynne told me.

"This is strictly alone time. Nobody but me. My brain does not want my mouth to talk." I told her adamantly.

"I'm pretty jealous of you." She admitted.

"You just got back from Greece." I offered. "You loved it."

"I did and I'll go back." She smiled. "Maybe Tyrone will come with me."

Malcom snapped his head up to stare at her and Heather snickered into her wine glass.

"Who's Tyrone?" He asked.

"Just someone I met a couple of weeks ago. It's no big deal dad."

"You meet someone a couple of weeks ago and you're taking him to Greece." Malcom turned to Heather and pointed accusingly. "This is your fault."

"It isn't. She dates. Get over it." She answered. "We raised good girls Malcolm."

"I want to meet him." Malcom told Ashlynne.

"I met him. He's really nice." I replied from the kitchen, getting desert out of the fridge.

"Ashlynne Donnelly! You introduce him to Shannon but not to your own mother?" Heather asked.

"I will mom. I've only been seeing him for a short time. And why are you acting so overprotective. I'm older than Shannon. I've dated longer."

"She's been dating the same guy for two years. You have a new one every other month. There's a difference." Malcom shot back.

"Please. Grant?! God. No offense Shannon."

"None taken." I answered.

Ashlynne and Grant never got along and my mom acted like she liked him but deep down, she knew he wasn't the one. Malcom stayed out of it and golfed with Grant when invited; which wasn't often

"Anyway, back to the trip. I'll be fine. Don't worry. I'll have my laptop and I'll call. I just really need a change of scenery." I walked to my dad and hugged him from behind. "See, isn't it heaven on earth." I told him pointing to a picture.

"It's nice. I'll give you that. Oh!" Malcom looked pleasantly surprised and glanced at his wife. "They have snorkeling. I haven't done that since Cuba. When was that?"

"Six years ago dear." Heather answered.

"Huh...maybe we will go." He murmured.

Heather winked in my direction and I smiled back.

"Dessert?" I offered giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"What is it?" Ashlynne asked.

"Tiramisu for us and fruit for dad."

"That is not funny." He said slightly offended as we all laughed. "It's not funny."

"Awesome. I'll cheat." Ashlynne got up and helped with the dishes.

These three people were my world. I was starting to figure out what really made me happy and for once I wasn't at home waiting and wondering where Grant was. It was a nice feeling; relieving actually. I watched as my dad served giant size portions of rich dessert into bowls as my mother scolded him for doing it. Ashlynne defended my dad and patted his chest, giving him a squeeze of support. I knew if I lost Grant it would hurt but it wouldn't be the end of it all. If I ever lost one of these people I would never be able to breathe the same way again. Tomorrow morning, I would see him and tell him so.

*****

I dialed Grant's number to see if he was around. It was early and I figured he might still be sleeping from his dinner party the night before. It was a celebration so it may have been a late night. I grabbed my keys from their hook at the front door and decided to drive over. He never cared if I came over uninvited to his home. He only seemed to care if I visited the office, which was a rare occasion. I hadn't formed the words yet. I really didn't know what was going to happen when I went over there. I didn't want to fight and I couldn't see him begging me to change my mind. I felt like I didn't know him at all these days. How funny it was that a two year relationship could crumble in a matter of weeks, or so I thought. Things hadn't been right for a while. I was just waking up to this fact now.

The drive over was slow, traffic being heavy. We didn't live very far from each other. We both owned condos in the downtown district, just on opposite ends of it. It never occurred to us that we should move in with each other, seeing as how it wouldn't be that big of a change, location wise. We had talked about the idea from time to time but it never ballooned into anything more than just talk. Thank God for small mercies.

I squeezed my car into a space that was just vacated and got a honk from behind for my effort. Apparently she had decided that the spot was hers. Technically that meant that she would have had to be in front of me. Too bad so sad. It was mine. Parking was hard to get on the street and I didn't think that I would be that long to have to pay the insane prices to park in one of those dirt lots that charged a person per half hour. I pushed coins into a meter and walked towards Grant's building. I could see the front of it clearly. It was one of those buildings, that if it were in New York, it would have a spiffy dressed up doorman. I never asked how much he bought the place for. I could only assume that it wasn't cheap.

The light flashed red before me and I waited patiently, sharing a smile at the bike messenger that pulled up beside me. Looking ahead at Grant's building I saw him come out. That was a lucky coincidence. He obviously wasn't going into the office, appearing in khaki shorts and a t-shirt. My heart did a little flip. I started second guessing what I was doing. We could fix this. A lot had been happening and we didn't have that free time that we used to. Maybe we could just talk it out, get back to where we were before dad had his heart attack and before this merger fell into Grant's lap. Just maybe I didn't have to throw two years down the drain. We used to be able to communicate; we could again.

I started waving at him when I recognized a woman coming out of the glass doors to meet him. She was dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. As she exited the building he smiled at her and brought her close to his body. What was going on? I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The woman that he was talking intimately closely with should have been me. The hair shouldn't have been shining like golden straw but beautiful coffee brown. I should have been the one placing a kiss on his lips in goodbye. I should have been the one he was saying 'have a good day' to. But it wasn't. I was on the other side of the street watching what should have been happening to me.

I could feel the color drain from my face. I could feel the tremble of shock start in my body. I could feel a sadness enter my heart. I could also feel embarrassed and humiliated rage where my stomach was.

"Hey lady. You've missed two lights. Are you okay?" A city worker asked me.

"Lights?" I asked.

"Yeah. The street."

"Oh yes. Thank you." I told him, completely stunned and I took a step off the curb.

Without watching what was going on I began walking. Just walking; not seeing anything but Grant holding a woman who should have been gracing the covers of magazines, even after a night in his bed.

"NO! Lady watch out!!!"

Grant heard a scream from across the street. He watched in slow motion as a woman, a woman as white as a ghost and wide shocked eyes crossed the street on a red light; traffic swerving and screeching trying not to smack her. He saw a pickup truck taking a right turn and, never seeing the woman, Grant saw her hit the front of the truck. There was a horrific crunch and a woman flying, finally landing in a silent heap on the pavement. The truck stopped only before her body, her arm disappearing under its bumper.

Screams from observers were loud and piercing.

"Someone help! Anyone!" An old woman shouted while trying to get to the body.

Drivers just got out of their stopped cars and watched, not knowing what to do. Cell phones came out and frantic calls were being made. The man from the truck was hysterical, whipping his ball cap around and insisting he never saw her; that he had the right of way.

"She just walked out into traffic. I swear I never saw her." He pleaded to anyone that was paying attention. There were a few that were trying to calm him but it appeared he didn't see them.

"Shannon?" Grant whispered in confusion.

He let go of Madelyn and walked slowly toward the chaos that was happening in front of his home.

"Shannon?!" He yelled and his walk became faster.

Soon he was trying to push through the crowd, bullying his way to the front. His panic was obvious and people started letting him through as he yelled her name.

"Shannon! Oh my God! Shannon!" He ran his fingers through his hair and dropped to his knees. "Holy fuck."

He couldn't touch her. He was scared to. Her face had scrapes and cuts from the road, there was blood on the street from a wound on her head and her body was placed in such a way that he knew she was badly broken. Unsure where to put his hands, he held them over her body.

"Shannon? Baby? I'm so sorry. Holy shit." He cried. "What've I done?"

Those who heard his grief started crying as well. Grant was never one to cry but seeing what just happened and knowing it was because of what she'd seen; what he'd done. He was absolutely devastated.

"Excuse me! Please make room. Excuse me!" A paramedic shouted. "Sir, you'll have to step back."

"No!" Grant exclaimed. "I won't leave her."

"If you don't leave here I'll have you arrested. Get out of here." The paramedic demanded.

Three more came through with a police officer. The police officer took Grant by the arm and pulled him away.

"Her purse. I have to...I need her purse." Grant begged them.

"We'll take care of it. Come with me. We need her information." The cop told him softly.

"Is she okay? Is she dead?" Grant asked anxiously.

The paramedic only looked at him with a blank stare.

"Call the Royal. Tell them we're on our way. She needs everyone they got." He told his coworker.

"Got it." She replied.

*****

"Something has to happen. This can't continue. It's swallowing everything it touches!" Carlos was panicked.

"I don't know why she won't write. She must write." Mrs. Dickson replied. "Has she forgotten us?"

"She could never forget us. She created us." Another spoke above them, arguing what Mrs. Dickson had just said.

"Mommy, will we be swallowed too?" A small girl asked her mother as she tugged on her skirts.

Alexander watched the crowd that had formed. They all needed some sort of guidance from him but he didn't have any. He didn't know why she refused to keep creating. He had seen nothing like the blackness, appearing weeks ago, in all his years here. He was her first so he knew her and he knew how she worked. She had blockages before but this was different. This was coming from a place of emotion and if something didn't happen soon, they would all be gone. It was her words that kept this place alive. Her words, their world. No words, no life.

He shook his head, clearing the frightening thoughts from his mind and held his hands up to calm the crowd. These were only some of the people she gave life to; the main characters of her books. There were many more of course, those that lived in the towns and countries she imagined and brought to life. The main ones felt more fear though. They lived by her pen. Now, they were scared because it had been far too long since they felt the ink flow.

"Please, everyone. We need to be calm. Nothing good can come out of panic." Alexander insisted gently.

"It's gotten bigger Alexander. It's coming quickly. Is there anything we can do?" Mr. Fennig asked nervously.

"I realize how scary this looks but we really don't know what it is. We haven't seen what's on the other side. It could be leaving everything the same as how it passed."

"No, it's feeding off us. I can feel it." Carlos insisted.

"Mommy?" The same child asked.

"Carlos please. There are children here." Alexander scolded.

"It's true and it's moving faster." Carlos replied.

"You don't know that!" Mr. McGinty argued.

"Yes I do. I'm closer! You're further away. You have less to worry about."

"I most certainly do not!" Mr. McGinty answered with insult.

Voices started fighting. Alexander rolled his eyes and sat helplessly. They were to meet here to comfort each other and yet, they were only willing to fight about who was in more danger and what this thing was eating.

"Please everyone. Please, this isn't helping." Alexander said to no avail.

A whistle sounded in the distance that pierced the air like a dying bird. It happened again after people chose to ignore it. Finally on the third try they all stopped and listened. Alexander smiled at who was there. He was the only one who did.

"I can help." James told them from his stance against a tree.

Groans and moans sounded throughout the crowd but at least the arguing stopped...for now. This was the last person people wanted to see. Carlos waved him away and grunted in displeasure. Noticing the reactions from everyone, James straightened and pulled at his vest to smooth it out.

"You? You're nothing but a trickster. You're a pain. What are you even doing here anyway?" Mr. Fennig told him. "You're no character of hers. You weren't even invited to live in this place and you've been a menace ever since you decided to stay here; you and that animal of yours."

"And what are you all doing? Huh? Standing around, complaining and whining; scaring small children and telling them they'll be eaten! Is that any better than doing nothing?! I've been doing something. I've been talking to her, trying to find out what's happening so maybe I can get her to fix it. You all are useless! I'm the only one doing anything and you all complain that I'm here?!"

"Now James, we thank you for coming. Of course you are to be included in these discussions. Do you know what it is?" Alexander asked, soothing James and his pride.

"She can't write. There's been...situations in her personal life that have had her preoccupied. She's been under a lot of stress." James answered.

"And what can you do to help that?" Mrs. Dickson asked.

"I have been trying to comfort her, to make her listen to her heart and what it's really trying to tell her."

"Please. That will not help us being sucked into that thing!" Carlos shouted.

James turned to Carlos and prepared himself to fight him even though it was very obvious that James would lose. Alexander saw the makings of yet another confrontation between James and those that lived here and quickly stepped in.

"Okay, that's enough. May I please have a moment with James? Everyone, please give us a couple of minutes would you." Alexander stood and walked to James, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Those that heard him were surprised that Alexander would even want to discuss this situation with James. Affronted, they huffed away not looking back and gossiping to each other about why James should get any considerations at all. As the last of them walked away, James swore at them and crossed his arms in anger.

"Stupid. They're all stupid!" James said out loud.

Alexander chuckled, expecting the reaction.

"They are not stupid. They are scared. What do you know of this...nothing?"

"Not a lot. I think it has everything to do with what's happening in her life. It's taking over her mind and heart, just as it's taking over this world. Let me go to her."

"No, not possible. You've been speaking with her. That's enough." Alexander refused.

"It's not enough. Let me bring her here. Let me show her what she's doing. She's not doing it intentionally and maybe if she sees what's happening she'll be able to fix it faster."

"James, it's not that I don't think you could do it. You? You know what you are to her. That is a very bad idea."

"It's the only thing to do. We can't wait until the last minute. That thing is almost to these borders. It has to be stopped now. What else do you have in mind?

"You are what her heart desires and yet she cannot have you. What happens, if she does come here, and becomes broken because she must leave without you? What happens then? We will be in the same situation, maybe worse. It is not a good idea James."

"It's our only idea. You know that. Allow me to bring her here. I've already shown her what's happening in her books. Just let me bring her here to prove it."

Alexander knew that it was the only chance they had but it was not the best idea. How could he be sure that James would behave himself; that Shannon would behave herself? He sighed, resigned. Alexander could only trust that James was smarter than his past actions and wouldn't put these worlds in any more jeopardy.

"You must promise me that you will be on your best behavior James. She is not yours to love. You are only to enter the one that is meant for her. Do you understand me? This is not one of your games."

"I do understand and I swear I will be on my best behavior."

"I'm watching James." Alexander warned.

"I'm completely aware that you're....."

James went pale and clutched at his chest. The whole of the earth that they were standing on heaved and shook, sending James back to slam against a rock. Cries of concern could be heard from those that waited permission to be allowed back into the meeting. Children screamed, trees shook and tumbled. The call of a wolf reverberated around them, signaling that something was happening and that it was not good. James couldn't breathe and he gasped as the wolf's howls entered his being and mixed with the attack to his heart.

"James! What's happening?" Alexander demanded, helping him to his feet.

"Shannon, something's happened to....I have to go."

James turned and ran. He ran with the speed of breathe as a body was being loved. He ran with the speed of passion as it kissed another's lips in yearning. Yet, these feeling were being emptied from him as fast as he was moving. He was dying. As much as it pained him to keep going he traveled as fast as he could; climbing over rocks, jumping over fallen trees, all the while having Conal run at his side while the ground shook below them. Conal never left him, only running at a faster pace than James because he knew something terrible had just happened as well. He felt it just as much as James because they were her. They were the most important parts of her and they knew that her life was coming to an abrupt end.

James saw it then. He saw the light; it wavered in its appearance but shone as bright as it could, waiting for him. It couldn't stay open, the center of it closing. James thought he would miss it. It was closing so fast that James panicked and jumped, flying through air, closing his eyes in prayer that it wouldn't close anymore. Conal skidded to a stop and jumped onto a bolder as he watched James fly. The dim green light swallowed him whole, taking him as nourishment for a starving body. Conal let out a mournful howl, its sound being heard throughout her lands, as a cry of anguish because death was so near.

James made it through and appeared as a glimmer beside her. He hurt and felt weak. He felt as if he wanted to die. Still, he lay beside her and held her near pressing what energy he could into her broken body.

"I'm here Shannon and I'll not leave. You are not alone."

*****

"Heather, you need to go home. It's quiet here and she's okay." Malcolm told his wife as she clasped her daughter's hand and held it to her lips. "Ashlynne's at the house waiting for you. I'll stay for a while longer." He rubbed her back wanting to be strong but feeling like he could crumble at any moment.

"What if something happens? What if she wakes up or..?" Heather let a tear fall and squeezed the hand tighter.

"She'll need you Heather. You have to go and get some rest." He insisted.

Heather shook her head in desperate confusion. This was nearly impossible for her. She never dreamed that her daughter would now be lying in a hospital bed so soon after her husband had.

"What makes a person do something like that? What makes a person walk into traffic? This just doesn't make sense. Did Grant say anything?" She asked, not taking her eyes of Shannon.

"No, he only said that he saw it happen. He's too shook up to talk right now and I don't blame him. He'll be here tomorrow."

Heather knew she had to go home. Malcolm was right. She was no good to anyone if she was exhausted and unable to cope with whatever road was before them, if any at all.

"Promise me you will call me if anything happens. Anything Malcolm." Heather pleaded to her husband and he nodded a promise.

"If anything happens before I come home I will let you know. The doctors here have been amazing. The nurses are in here every ten minutes. Shannon will not be alone tonight."

Resigned, Heather stood but placed a kissed on her daughter's forehead before leaving.

"Alright. I'll go. Goodnight Shannon my sweet. Rest well. Your dad will stay with you for a while longer and I'll be back bright and early in the morning. I'll bring some magazines to read okay?"

The sickening silence that lingered as an answer broke her heart. Heather cleared her throat and straightened. She faced her husband who looked just as scared and exhausted as she did. Grant had called them at the house at ten thirty that morning. The police called them shortly after. They had raced to the hospital, breaking all road rules, to find out if their daughter would still be alive. Shannon was lucky.

"She's hanging on. She's young and in perfect health. There's no need to worry unless we have to. We'll get some tests back, which will be within the hour, and I'll know better, then, what's happening on the inside. The internal bleeding is under control. There's no indication that there's any cranial swelling and that's the biggest concern at the moment." Dr. Petersen told the three of them together while Shannon was still being moved to intensive care.

Even though there was no brain damage, she was pretty banged up on the inside. One of her lungs collapsed, five ribs were broken and her right leg needed surgery. Her senses were being monitored carefully as her spine showed signs of trauma but so far it seemed okay. Shannon was being kept in an induced coma for two days and after that, they would decide if she was strong enough to come out of it.

Ashlynne was beside herself and refused to stay at her own place. She packed a bag, took emergency leave from work, and moved in with her parents. Various friends and family kept vigil at the Donnelly household, staying and helping with anything they could think of. It was helpful and knowing the amount of support and love there was for their daughter gave Heather and Malcolm some much needed comfort.

"Goodnight." Heather told him giving him a kiss. "I love you."

"Get some rest. I know sleep might be light but try to shut those eyes okay." Malcolm told her.

"I will. I'll take a cab." She smiled sadly. "The car's yours."

"Okay. I love you too. We'll get through this."

"Bye." She whispered and slowly walked out.

Sleep would come eventually and Heather was grateful that Malcolm would stay so she could see Ashlynne and make sure her oldest was holding up okay. After she comforted her daughter she would let a nice hot shower wash away this hospital. Tomorrow would be a new day and knowing the fighter that Shannon was, she had to have faith that she would come out of this better than before.

Malcolm watched as Heather waved goodnight to the nurses and left. He turned back to his daughter, then eyed Heather's chair that was now vacated. He took the position of his wife and noticed the newspaper that he had bought to pass the time while Shannon was in surgery. He picked it up and flipped to the puzzle page.

"Well what do you say Shannon my love? Care for a word search or a crossword puzzle?" He asked the still body. "Crossword it is." He answered, knowing that it was a cabin favorite in the summer when they used to go as a family. It had been a long time since they could all get out to the lake and he thought maybe it would be a good time to have Thanksgiving there. When this was done, they all would have a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

A nurse walked in, interrupting his plans of a turkey dinner. He welcomed her with a look and turned back to his crossword puzzle.

"Mr. Donnelly? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to get some rest. She's in very good care." Pauline scolded him gently, knowing full well why he was at his daughter's bedside.

"Oh, I'm just making sure is all." He answered, forcing a smile.

"I know. Things look good though. Shannon's strong." She offered.

"My girl is a fighter."

"I have a feeling the whole family is." She answered.

Pauline let him be. She finished her exam on Shannon and patted her arm before she left. Pauline was an adamant believer that even though people were asleep, it didn't mean they didn't know what was going on around them; especially this woman that lay in this bed. Shannon knew and she insisted on staying alive. For what reason, well she could only assume. With the amount of blood she needed, Pauline was surprised that Shannon Donnelly didn't die on the street she fell to.

"Goodnight Mr. Donnelly." She whispered.

"Goodnight, and call me Malcolm.'

"Alright Malcolm. We'll call you if anything should happen but I think it'll be a quiet night."

"Great. Thank you."

He thought so too. He just couldn't leave right now.

*****

In one instant I was gone. I didn't know what had happened and I didn't know where I was but something told me things weren't normal. For one, I was walking around in a white mist; something unusually beautiful. It was angelic to say the least and I really had no desire to leave its comfort. I was being shielded; maybe from a memory, maybe from heaven or hell. There was a choice around me but I had no idea what it was. So, with no idea and feeling incredibly safe and loved, I continued to just be.

"Shannon...?"

I smiled and glanced around, thinking that I heard an angel finally giving me permission to enter into heaven. I couldn't see anyone though; well, that wasn't all true. I saw someone through the haze. Their features were hidden but they were dressed nicely. There were no wings, only what appeared to be a man, slightly taller than myself, in a suit, waiting for me to answer.

"Hello?" I asked. "Are you there?"

"I'm here."

"Am I dead?" I asked. "Where am I?"

The man chuckled warmly and shook his shadowy head.

"No. You're not dead; only asleep. I've been with you since the accident."

"What accident?" I asked.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really." I admitted.

There was a pause in the conversation as if this voice was disappointed that I didn't remember a life different than this one.

"There's a place I must take you but in order to get there you must remember where you've been. You must remember who you are. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm not sure I'd like to. I have a feeling I won't enjoy that." I replied.

"That might be true but in all honesty, there are things you need to know."

"Like what?" I asked walking towards this figure. "You have a beautiful voice. Can I see you?"

I was drawn to his sound. It was deep and masculine yet soft like a poet with an Irish lilt.

"In time we will meet." He answered gently.

"I know you." I told him, a memory sitting just on the edge remembering.

"I've been around." He admitted. "Go to him..."

And with those last words his shadow was gone replaced with a distant picture where the mist dissipated to reveal it. Curious, I walked towards it and as I got closer, the image got larger; so large that I stepped into the scene before me. A woman lay in a bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines and tubes. An older man, with thinning gray hair and olive skin, sat next to her bed, drawing on a folded up paper. I walked closer to the bed and felt sorry for the one that laid there, so bruised and hurt. This man must have been watching over her. I walked towards him and noticed he was working on a crossword puzzle. Being a fan of them myself, I pointed to blank fields that he was missing. The answers were so obvious to me but this man just couldn't figure them out.

"It's words. Look right there. The answer is words." I told him.

Malcolm turned his body, hearing something behind him but not seeing anything. A heart monitor beeped at him, telling him Shannon's heart rate was increasing.

"What is it Shannon?" He asked softly.

"It's words. Can't you hear me?" I asked him.

Malcolm watched as his daughter's throat tensed up like she was trying to speak.

"Shannon?" He asked leaning closer.

All he heard was the respirator. He felt that a part of her was here and was trying to say something.

"Words." I tried again.

Malcolm scratched at his ear as it felt like someone was whispering to him. He was positive it was his daughter. He looked at the crossword puzzle and went to three across, the one that he had been working on. Smiling, he added the missing letters W D S.

"Words." He told himself.

Satisfied, I went to walk around. I didn't like this place as much as the mist. There was so much sadness here. I needed to escape and squeezed into a waiting elevator. There was a man that held a large stuffed elephant and flowers. This man looked elated and I decided to follow him because wherever he was going would be someplace of smiles and excitement.

I followed him to a room. By the dark windows I could tell that it was late but he still entered, seeming happy that he was there. He put the flowers down on a table and went to a small bassinet to put the elephant in it. He then lifted a swaddled infant into his arms. By the cap it wore I could tell it was a boy; his mother content and dozing in a single bed.

Leaning against the doorway, I viewed the new family with longing. Where was mine? Where were the people that I belonged to? I switched directions and headed down the hallway. To my left, large glass windows showed even more infants; some sleeping and some crying. That's where I wanted to be; in that room with new life. I didn't want to wait in rooms where life could be taken away in an instant. Entering through an open door, I found a rocking chair and settled myself into it for an indefinite amount of time.

*****

James watched her. The small interaction with her had him wanting more but he needed to be careful. She had no clue what had happened and not knowing her own father was proof. Since the accident, rumors spread throughout the books. If there was fear and panic before, well now it was all out hysterics. Alexander was able to keep them calm for the moment, saying she would be coming to see what has been happening. Now James was under pressure to get her to remember who she was and to take her to where she could undo the damage that she didn't mean to do.

Grant was another issue. The fact that she was second guessing her decision worried James a little. That's when he went to Alexander to ask permission to have her come. She needed to stop giving Grant her attention and start paying attention to what was truly filling her more. He had no idea what she had seen until he played it back through her eyes. James was livid. He had been in a burning rage and that rage, he believed, is what saved her life. Usually, it was preferable to have love rekindle a flame. At the point between life and death, however, anything would work. He wasn't picky. James was now feeling much better and so he knew that she would be fine in time.

"Shannon. You have to go back to her." He told her. He stood behind her but in this world, he couldn't be seen.

"Please stop. I don't want to be there. It's too depressing. What does it have to do with me anyway?"

"Everything." James answered.

"Where are you? Why won't you let me see you?" I asked.

"I can't be seen here and those reasons will be told to you when you remember."

"If I go, will you tell me?" I asked.

"If you go I will show you."

I sighed and stared at the nurses who were doing their best to care for infants whose mothers chose sleep over a first night with their new child. Reluctantly, I stood from my comfortable spot and trudged toward the woman in the bed. These hallways were quiet. Eerily quiet because any sound might be a soul unwilling to stay; leaving this place as the cries of alarms, by their beds, would announce their departure.

The man that had been sitting beside the woman in the bed was now preparing to leave. I stood by the door and watched as he placed a kiss on her head and smoothed the hair that was peeking out from under the bandages. He whispered something to her but I couldn't hear it. As unwillingly I had left the babies, he now had to leave this person that he appeared to love so very much.

I let him pass, ducking out of the room as he left it. I didn't bother watching him go, only concentrating on who was in the bed. Who was she to me and why was she so important? There was something there. I felt like I knew her but I just couldn't place her.

"Are you there?" I asked into the air.

There was no one.

I didn't like that I was alone with her but went to the bedside anyway. She was pale. Her lips didn't have any color to them. The respirator she was hooked up to made her chest rise and fall in an all too perfect way. The monitor beside the bed was a metronome of irritating beats. At least it signaled her heart was steady.

"What happened to you?" I asked taking her hand in mind.

It was at that moment I saw it. I saw it all; relived it all. I was propelled into a film of life and I grasped her hand for stability, gasping with breath. I saw her existence flash by in my mind's eye. I saw her happiness with her family. Her father, he was here. Her mother was shopping, talking, and scolding her. I saw events of her life swiftly as if they were being played as a film but every scene was a fraction of a second long. From birth until today it unfolded before me. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing but it was real. It was me and it was my life story.

"Oh my God." I whispered, shaking where I stood but unable to let go of her hand. "No..."

As the scenes from this morning replayed, I was thrown back against the wall just as the truck had thrown me forward, breaking my body and inviting the angels of death to take me in. I saw Grant bent over my body and being taken away by a police officer. I was livid. My heart raced and I cried at what was taken away from me.

"She's coding! Get Dr. Petersen!" Pauline yelled down the hall running into the room.

I shook my head and cried as sweat dripped down my face. I cried tears of every emotion because I was feeling them so intensely as every single memory was flooding back at a shocking speed.

"This can't be happening. This can't be happening to me!" I screamed. "Wake up! Wake up please!" I begged.

A doctor rushed in and grabbed the panels of a defibrillator, laying them on my chest.

"Clear!" He demanded.

As the electricity flowed, the body bounced.

"Nothing." Was the answer he got back.

I tried to calm myself down, knowing that what was happening to me right now was affecting the unconscious me. Breathing as steadily and evenly as I could, I watched as they successfully brought me back to life. My heart started beating and I began to think clearly. The people around the bed were breathing a collective sigh of relief.

"Okay, that came out of nowhere." Dr. Petersen said confused as those around agreed. "Can I see her last stats?"

Pauline handed him the chart and he studied it, becoming more puzzled. Everything seemed good, as well as could be expected. So why did she just go into cardiac arrest? He read it over and over as he studied her, nurses at the ready for any direction he wanted to take.

"Okay, keep me informed. I'll come by within the hour." Dr. Petersen handed the chart back to Pauline and left to another call.

"See you soon." She answered and those around left slowly, taking their time, just to be sure the patient was fine.

Pauline crouched down and stroked my cheek.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" She asked. She knew it was futile but wanted me to know that I was cared for anyway. "It'll get better Shannon. I promise it will get better."

I wanted to believe her but couldn't at the moment. The knowledge that I had gained in the last ten minutes left me utterly devastated. I did, however, know that I wanted to win this battle and confront the man that lied to me. I didn't blame him for the fact I was lying in a hospital. I was the one that crossed a busy street. I did blame him for breaking my heart though. That would be tougher to make up for.

As I crouched against the wall, regaining the rest of my composure, I didn't know that from the light in the doorway, a nicely dressed man looked on, wiping tears from his eyes, trying to pick up the pieces of my heart that had shattered to the ground. It was his home and had been forever. Now it was in dire need of repair.

*****

Was she ready? He didn't know. They had been here together for hours and he was starting to get anxious about getting her to the lands of her tales. All she was doing was sitting beside herself, twirling her hair, and staring at her sleeping face; she didn't waver in her movements. Shannon was literally watching over her own body but she needed a break. Just as the islands of the South Pacific would have been her break from this life, her books would be the break in this one. He felt she was upset with him and he guessed it was because he made her come here; made her remember what had happened. He didn't have a choice and now, because she knew, Shannon was able to heal. It was time to show himself.

"Shannon, I think you've been sitting there for long enough don't you?"

"Go away." I answered.

James was right. She wasn't in a good mood.

"Wouldn't you like a rest? Wouldn't you like to see other things?"

"You know what Mr. Voice? I wanted to stay with the babies. You're the one that told me to come. You almost killed me. Get lost."

"I did not almost kill you and you would have remembered in time anyway. I just had you get it over with faster than what you were prepared for.""

"Okay, so now it's done. I remember and I'm not leaving."

James glared my way then calmed down and shrugging it off, decided to ignore my attitude. He knew of my stubbornness. It was his as well.

"Fine. I'll just leave the door open. You come when you want to. There is a place that needs you now. Your body is fine. It's alive. Your spirit could use a rest." James said walking away.

I gritted my teeth at his presumptuous attitude and knew that he had left.

"I do not need a rest." I argued in a mimicking tone. "Friggin' Mr. Know-It-All."

I sighed and rested my chin on my curled up knees. What did he know anyway? He was only a voice.

A soothing warmth began to rub at my back. It felt like a father's touch and a mother's hug. It called my name without saying a word and I turned to see what this feeling was. Behind me was a shimmering mist, but instead of white, it glowed green. It sparkled like water yet floated as air. It was stunning and nearly took my breath away.

"Nice door." I whispered, impressed.

Now I wanted to go. I wanted to be engulfed in its space because it was telling me that it's where I belonged right now. It asked me gently at first and then it pleaded with me.

Please come...

"But I can't leave her." I answered reluctantly.

You'll always be close to her. You are her Shannon...

If this was another trick of the male voice that insisted on talking to me, it was a good one. I took a look at my sleeping form and felt torn. I didn't want to leave her. I knew that as she lay here, I would be able to see my family. I wanted to see my family but this place, that was inviting me in, felt like a distant relative that I longed to be reunited with. Making a decision, I stood and stepped toward the head of the bed.

"I promise I'll be back. I won't be long. I'll just take a quick look and be back before morning." I said quietly, asking for permission that I assumed I needed.

Kissing the tips of my fingers, I placed them on her cheek. Everything settled, I walked toward the doorway. No sooner had I walked into the emerald light, it closed behind me and I was transported towards an opening of another kind. It didn't take long, maybe a few steps in the right direction. It wasn't a journey. It was just like walking into another room.

"Oh...wow." I gasped, realizing where I had been placed.

I took one step, and then another. I had been dropped in a field; an ocean of green, white and red. The sky shone blue with large puffy clouds, in perfect shape, taking residence in the vast blue. Looking closer I giggled nervously as, at my feet, poppies and daisies stuck their heads out of their green foliage. As far as I could see, this whole field was poppies and daisies. There was something about it that made me smile with pure happiness. I felt light with a sense of freedom that I couldn't put into words. I couldn't help myself and sat heavily in the middle of the flowers, knowing that the doorway had been shut, but it didn't make a difference to me. I could stay here for hours. I let the clouds pass by and closed my eyes to the glimpse of a bright sun when it was permitted to shine through their cracks.

A thick forest stood to one side of the grand field. Its trees swayed gently with the breeze and I watched it, where I sat, thinking it looked very enchanting. It wasn't a word that I would use to describe something unless I was writing about it but that was the only word I had. Here I was, sitting in a sea of flowers and a completely different environment was twenty feet away. I could understand a grove of trees being placed in the landscape but a forest was something different. It was a border line; becoming the entrance to a brand new place.

Squinting my eyes to look closer, I thought I saw someone there, just on the edge of the foliage. I wondered if it was the voice that had been talking to me and I was very curious to know what he looked like. I was irritated with him, I would not deny that, but his voice was so pleasant that I really wanted to see his face.

I stood and walked, running my hands along the tops of the flowers as I passed them. The field was bright and sunny; the forest was darker, in contrast, and I strained to see if there was anything to fear. I didn't sense anything, it was friendly. The sun, as with the clouds, peeked through trees that were planted further apart. The forest floor was moss and packed dirt. Green ferns and foliage popped up here and there and fallen leaves were scattered, albeit almost too perfectly.

"I've landed in a friggin' Disney movie." I whispered crossing the threshold. "What is this place?"

Travelling deeper into the quiet, I listened for anything that would give another person away. The only thing I heard was a breeze that pushed the trees here and there. Insects buzzed about, paying no attention to me. Honey bees landed on flowers. This place was starting to feel very familiar.

"Hello?" I called. "I know you're in here. I don't understand why you're still hiding."

I strode deeper in, the field of flowers no longer in my view. It wasn't so bad here. I kind of enjoyed strolling among the trees. I was expecting a nice even ground but there were small mounds and valleys that gave this place a bit more character than it already had. I climbed down an embankment and noticed a small stream trickling and flowing in the opposite direction I was travelling. The small hill gave it a nice little waterfall and I watched it for a moment in magical appreciation.

"Well where should I go now?" I asked myself, looking in different directions.

When I took a last look at the stream a figure stepped into view. When I realized what it was my stomach fell and my heart raced.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed as I was only a few feet away from a large gray wolf.

I backed away as it lowered its head, sniffing me out from where it stood. The way it dropped its head scared me half to death, telling me it wanted to come closer.

"Oh my God." I squeaked. "What do I do?"

No sooner had I asked myself that question that my mind answered, confirming what I was thinking.

RUN!

I turned and did just that. I ran as fast as I could but knew, with certainty that it was close behind. It was playing with me, knowing that it could run just as fast, even faster than I ever could. I was panicking. I was only a wolf toy and this canine was going to amuse himself with my fear before it grabbed me to make me its meal. The idea that I was not fully real did not cross my mind. To me, this situation was worse than a nightmare.

I saw rocks and boulders ahead of me. I raced towards one, thinking that if I could climb one, I might be safe. There were rocks to throw and I quickly grabbed one before clambering up the side of a tall boulder face. I wasn't stupid. I knew if I could get myself up there that it would be no problem for a wolf but it was the only thing my panicked brain could think to do. I held up the rock over my head, larger than the size of my hand and aimed it for the canine's head. The wolf stopped, taking a step back, but still holding its head down to investigate the woman above him.

"Stay back! Stay where you are or I swear you will feel this right between the eyes!" I threatened.

The wolf took another step back and raised its head, turning its ears to a sound only he could hear.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! What do you think you're doing?!"

A man walked out from behind a tree, raising a hand to stop me while holding down another to the wolf in protection.

"What am I doing? I am protecting myself from that...thing!" I told him refusing to drop the rock. "Are you crazy? Get away from it."

"Put that rock down now! There will be none of that. He's nothing to be frightened of."

"He chased me." I insisted.

"No, he was with you. He's yours."

"He is not mine." I answered defiantly.

I took a closer look at the man that stood with the wolf. I knew him yet he was a stranger to me.

"Your voice..." I started. He nodded and waved for me to join him.

"Just come down from there. I promise he won't harm you."

Conal sat and set his ears back in submission; his tail thumping on the ground to prove that he wasn't about to do anything. I tossed the rock away and slowly made my way down the steep surface, keeping my eyes on the animal. It was easier to climb up the rock in a panic than getting back down. Jumping to the ground, I brushed myself off and took a breath before joining them. This man's face smiled shyly at me. He was only an inch taller than myself. His face was somewhat long with a strong chin and high cheekbones. His skin was slightly tanned and his eyes were a brooding gray. His hair was the color of cinnamon, cut short with a slight wave. The three piece suit he wore was dark gray; matching his eyes and making them stand out so no one would want to gaze upon anything else. He looked like a man that was coming home after a wedding; a six o'clock shadow apparent on his face. I was right. The voice matched his features perfectly and my memory of Grant faded, only feeling instant attraction to the man standing in front of me.

James could sense what was happening. Of course she would be feeling things quickly for him and his feelings were the same, for that's who he was to this woman; the one that she would love. It had to stop. He had a job to do.

"I'm James." He introduced himself but refused to extend a hand to touch her. That wasn't a good idea.

"James..." I repeated. "You're the voice; the voice that's been haunting me for the last few days. You almost had me killed!"

Waking up from my dreamy stair on his masculinity, I now glared at him enraged.

"I did not almost have you killed." He said defensively.

"You told me to go into that hospital room knowing what would happen. It's the same bloody thing!"

"It is not. You needed to remember. Would you rather be walking around being stupid instead?" James asked.

"Stupid?! I am not stupid."

"Okay, ignorant, naïve. Whatever, it needed to be done."

"Why and who are you anyway?" I demanded.

James stuffed his hands in his pockets, thinking of how to tell her but not to give too much away.

"I'm your guide. I...I reside in your heart."

"What? Like Pinocchio's cricket? You have to be joking." I laughed. "Are you for real?"

"I am nothing like a cricket and am insulted that you would even compare me to an insect." James answered. "I'm much more to you than that."

Ignoring his reaction I looked down at the wolf, which was waiting patiently for direction.

"And who's he?" I asked gesturing to the animal.

"This is Conal. He's your gut instinct. He's that feeling in your belly when your suspicious, cautious, or unsure of anyone or anything." James answered.

"Like now?" I crossed my arms and gave James a steely gaze.

James returned my look then eyed Conal. The wolf bared his teeth and growled low at him.

"Thanks a lot." James told him "Traitor."

Conal gave an irritated whine, and being bored with this reunion of sorts, trotted off ahead. James decided to let this introduction go. He knew I was upset with everything that had happened and he assumed the best way to gain my trust would be to support me instead of fight me.

"I've brought you to the land of your books." James told me coming closer.

"My books? Why?" I asked. "They exist?"

"Of course they exist. Anything created with words, music, movement, paints, dreams; they all exist on some level."

"Okay, so I'm here, I've seen it. I'd like to go back now."

"There is a reason why you're here. You need to see it for yourself." He gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm. "Let's walk."

James went ahead and followed Conal who took the lead. I followed half-heartedly but then thought better of my attitude. What author gets the chance to discover what they wrote? Unless you're daydreaming about places you've described, there's no way this was possible. It explained why I felt at home here. I watched James and Conal and wondered where they fit in. I never wrote about a man like James or a wolf before. Why, then, did they exist here. Hoping to get some questions answered, I picked up my step to catch up.

*****

The forest gave way to a clearing and in the distance I could see a cottage; smoke billowing from its chimney. It compared to a cottage that I had written about after I had written Alexander's story. Her name was Mrs. Dickson and she was a feisty woman that took nothing from no one but she could also be very loving. I wrote her thinking of an aunt on my mother's side; my grandmother's sister. I had met her once before she passed away but always remembered her. Other family members didn't enjoy her company but I don't think they really understood her.

Walking closer I saw that the home was two levels with a thatched roof and a red brick face. A hedge surrounded the home with a small gate at the front of the walk to allow passage inside the perimeter. The vegetable garden was immaculate and abundant and I was sure this was the home of one, Mrs. Dickson.

"I can't believe it. Is this Mrs. Dickson's place?" I asked excited, walking faster.

"It is." James confirmed a little less than enthusiastically.

"I have to meet her. I wonder what she's really like."

James chuckled as if he was in on the worst joke in the world. Not laughing because it was funny but laughing because it was better than sneering.

"Oh, she's a treat; a real gem. Thank you so much for that."

"You say that as if you don't like her." I said, disappointed in his reaction.

"We don't get a long." He admitted.

"And whose fault is that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Why don't you meet her and see for yourself." James offered. "Come. I'm sure she'll be tickled to see us."

James opened the gate for me and I stepped through. Conal followed and all three of us went to the front door. James smiled at me as he knocked loudly three times. We heard rushed footsteps and James drew his eyebrows in confusion because there was more than one pair. A senior man pulled open the door, hastily pulling up suspender straps in an obvious rush to dress. He was balding; the only hair on his head were patches on the sides that were silver grey. He had a wrinkled face but kind eyes. His body was very thin and looked as if the breeze could take him. I knew at once it was Mr. McGinty.

A hand shot to my mouth in surprise as Mrs. Dickson hurried to the door, tidying her hair and doing up buttons of her blouse. The two of them obviously found more than friendship here and we had interrupted it. James almost collapsed in laughter while I was visibly shocked at what we were witnessing. Mr. McGinty, seeing who was at the door, glared in James'direction. Mrs. Dickson's cheeks were hot with irritation among other things.

"What do you want?" Mr. McGinty demanded.

"What's all this?" James asked. "Since when?"

"It's none of your business. We're friends." Mr. McGinty scolded. "What business do you have here? You were told never to come around here after the pie incident and that hasn't changed."

"That was a joke and you weren't even there." James told him gaining composure.

"But I was. Get off my front step." Mrs. Dickson demanded. "And who are you?" She asked me forcefully. "Any friend of his is not welcome here."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just arrived..." I started but James held up a hand. He was going to enjoy this.

"This, Mrs. Dickson, is Shannon Donnelly. Shannon, meet Mrs. Dickson and Mr. McGinty. They're just friends." He couldn't help but sneak that last part in.

Their faces dropped and Mr. McGinty swallowed hard, his thin neck appearing as if he was suddenly thirsty. I simply waved. I didn't know if I was welcomed anymore. James cocked his head to the side and smirked.

"Is it tea time?" He asked.

"Tea time?! Why didn't you give me any notice? You fiend; sneaking Shannon Donnelly here without telling a soul. How could you James?" Mrs. Dickson scolded him.

"Why ruin the surprise?" James answered.

"If this is a bad time I can come back. I was only looking forward to meeting you. I feel like I know you so well."

"Oh please, excuse me Miss. Donnelly. I'm so sorry. Come in." She walked away from the door to allow me passage.

James rubbed his hands together, anticipating what goodies Mrs. Dickson had in her home. He started to follow me but Mr. McGinty put a hand on his chest to stop him and glared; it didn't matter that he was a foot shorter than James.

"Who says you're to come in here?" Mr. McGinty inquired.

"I'm sorry but where Shannon goes, I go. I think you know that."

Mr. McGinty pointed a finger into James' chest and James looked down at it patiently amused.

"No funny business. I'm watching you. That beast of a dog stays outside."

"He's Shannon's." James looked at Conal who licked his lips and watched the inside of the house.

"I don't care."

"Is this your home?" James asked. "Have you moved in? Have things progressed to that?"

"Why?"

"Answer me." James shot back.

"I have not."

"Than your approval is not needed. Excuse us. Conal."

James walked past brushing the finger that was still on his chest away. Mr. McGinty pressed himself against the door so as not to touch the wolf that followed slowly. With a look to the sky, Mr. McGinty shook his head and closed the door behind him.

*****

"Please dear, have a seat. What an honor it is to have you here." Mrs. Dickson pulled out a chair and I sat.

The interior of the cottage was exactly what I wrote. The brick flowed from the outside to the inside. The floors were wide wooden planks that shone mahogany on the floor. The furnishings were weathered wood and overstuffed in pastel colors of every shade. Large windows let in the sun's light and fireplaces, that stood to the side of the kitchen and living room walls, were lit and the flames kept low. The ceilings were supported by great wood beams and white plaster was left unpainted and bare, giving the place a nice antique feel. I was going for quaint English cottage and I think I was successful. Conal curled himself up by the living room fire, placing his snout between his paws and taking a rest. James sat across from me, removing his jacket and leaving his vest in place.

"Tea?" Mrs. Dickson asked.

"That sounds great." James answered.

"I wasn't asking you." She answered him with a look that told him to shut his mouth.

"Tea would be great and if it's no trouble, James was the one that guided me here and he could use one as well. Only if it's okay with you." I interrupted.

"Well, if you insist." Mrs. Dickson replied. "We heard that you were coming we just didn't know when."

"I guess the opportunity kind of hit and I couldn't refuse." I admitted. "I wasn't expecting to come but now that I'm here I'm excited to see it."

"We heard rumors that something bad has happened to you...where you come from. Is this true?" Mr. McGinty asked while Mrs. Dickson poured his tea.

I didn't know what to say to these people. Here I was just meeting them but felt like I had known them forever. I wanted to tell them everything but wasn't ready to admit reason's that I had only just learned myself. I decided simple was best and looked to James for encouragement. He nodded and took a sip of tea.

"I was hit by a vehicle recently. My physical self is laying in a hospital bed but James has invited me, in spirit, to come here. I'm pretty badly broken but I think I'll make it." I told them trying to smile at their faces of saddened shock.

"What? Shannon...how awful." Mrs. Dickson replied sitting by my side and covering my hand with hers.

I shrugged trying not to make a big deal out of the situation. I was uncomfortable with why it happened and didn't want to talk about it.

"It's okay. I'll go back to me right away and stay with her until I'm awake."

"You're leaving? She's leaving?" Mr. McGinty asked turning to James. "You bring her here just so she can turn and leave?"

"No." James shook his head. "She'll meet everyone."

"James, I have to go back." I argued. "I've been here long enough already."

"But you mustn't. We need you here. We desperately need you..." Mrs. Dickson started but was interrupted by James suddenly standing.

"Okay, Shannon. Please, we need to talk. Outside...?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Some help." Mr. McGinty muttered and I gave him an injured look.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Ignore him. He's grumpy and ancient. Please Shannon."

James walked to the door and Conal got up to follow. I gave Mr. McGinty one last look and he smiled apologetically and turned to Mrs. Dickson who stared hopeful at me as I left. We let ourselves out and I started walking down the path towards anything that would take me back.

"Shannon stop. He doesn't know what he says. Stop." James trotted to catch up to me and cut me off, standing before me. "They're worried. They're under a great deal of stress."

"I don't know what I'm doing here and unless someone tells me what the hell is going on I'm leaving." I told him.

"Okay, look. I will go back to the hospital. I'll watch you. Please stay here and listen to them. Just listen. I'll come back for you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?! No way. I want to see my parents and my sister."

"You will. Look, I know this is new. I understand your hesitation in being here but there are reasons and I need you to learn of them. I promise you I will not leave your hospital room and as soon as I see your family I'll come for you." He gently prodded my acceptance with a hopeful gaze. "Please Shannon."

I took a my time deciding but couldn't say no to his pleading eyes. I moaned in frustration and finally gave in.

"Fine. Okay. Just...please don't be too long. As much as I'm still upset with you about the remembering thing, I still would like you to show me around. To guide me? That's your job right?"

James's heart overflowed hearing my words and tried not to show his relief.

"I'm always here." He pointed to my chest. "I'll be back."

"Can Conal stay with me?" I asked finally feeling comfortable enough to give his head a light pat. His body leaned into mine wanting more.

"Yes. He'll not leave you. Like I said, he's yours."

The same green doorway from the hospital room began to appear. It started small but swirled to a larger space where James could easily fit through. He backed away from me, not requiring to see the glow to know that it was there.

"Until tomorrow." He bowed chivalrously.

"Bye." I answered.

I watched him as he was absorbed into the warmth of the green. Conal looked up at me, wondering where we were going next.

"Can you help me with the old folks back there?" I asked.

He barked in reply and walked slowly back to the door.

I took a breath and followed him. Now I needed to find out this mystery about why they needed my help.

Mr. McGinty met me at the door with a guilty face. He cleared his throat before beginning to talk.

"I'm sorry Shannon. I didn't mean to be rude. James has a way of irritating me even when he hasn't done anything...yet." He apologized.

"It's fine. I'm sorry too. I'm going through a lot but I would really like to know what's got everyone so upset."

"Come girl. I'll show you."

He led me to the back of the house towards the vegetable garden. We stood at the edge and Mr. McGinty pointed into the horizon. I squinted to see what he was indicating, deciding I might be able to see more if I shielded my eyes. Conal howled and made me jump. Mr. McGinty simply nodded his head at what the animal was saying. Conal knew, as they all did.

"That is what's making everyone so upset." He told me, giving Conal a scratch behind the ears to calm him.

My gut wrenched with a sense of panic. Even though I didn't know what it was, it gave me great concern and I refused to take my eyes away.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's nothing and it's swallowing everything it passes."

"Everything?"

"These worlds of yours will be no more unless it can be stopped." He told me helplessly.

"But...what caused it?" I asked looking at him.

Mrs. Dickson joined us and watched the blackness that was quite far away but still too close for comfort. It was still far off in the horizon which was good news; it meant it hadn't traveled much today. Something had kept it at bay for now.

"I'm sorry, dear, but you did." She answered my question matter-of-factly.

*****

I had no words to answer what Mrs. Dickson just told me. She insisted we go inside to have some supper and then we would sit and chat. There was a lot for me to understand but they didn't think that they would be able to explain it all. There was only one man that may be able to tell me what it really was and that was Alexander. If he knew I was here, he would make his presence known to me as soon as he could.

So after a gorgeous meal that seemed to be whipped up in no time, as was the case in any story, we got ourselves comfortable in the living room. Mrs. Dickson relaxed in her rocking chair while Mr. McGinty sat on the large sofa, legs crossed and spectacles on as the sun was fading and he had trouble seeing in the dark. Conal lay by the fire once more and I sat beside him. The fire had a log added to it and every once in a while you could hear a pop unleash and a spark fly up.

"Alright young lady. I didn't mean to frighten you about...now what would you call it..." Mrs. Dickson turned to Mr. McGinty and he tilted his chin thinking for a moment.

"Nothing." He answered. "That's the only word we have for it that explains what it is."

"Okay, nothing. For nearly three months now, that thing has been creeping slowly towards us. It hasn't swallowed anything that we know of but it's getting dangerously close. You haven't written a single word Shannon."

"I've had writer's block before." I told her.

"This time it's not the same dear. Even if you're blocked you're still writing something. There are always ideas in that head of yours; there have been for years. We know because we see everything that comes of it. It's so wondrous; what you can think up and we're honored to be able to experience it; to live it. Something is not sitting well with you lately though."

"Yes, instead of growth, this place is being consumed because imagination and creation need to feed on something. If you aren't giving it inspiration it will eat at other things." Mr. McGinty added.

Mrs. Dickson agreed nodding her head quickly and nervously.

"Like us." She finished.

I found that reaction a little melodramatic but I couldn't argue that this blackness that was creeping upon them would make those that lived here nervous. She was right. My writer's block had been different this time. I had nothing. I didn't even have a spark of anything to feed. The only thing that had my energy was my father's recovery and Grant. I quickly got his face out of my memory. He wasn't what I wanted to think of right now and for good reason.

"And now you're unable to write anything. Is that true?" Mr. McGinty confirmed.

"I can't write at the moment." I answered.

"This is devastating; a true catastrophe." He exclaimed.

"I will be able to write. As soon as I wake up I can have people write the words that I say." I told them, trying to comfort them.

"And what will you write?" Mrs. Dickson asked. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I have some things that I've started. I'll go back to them. Maybe it will infuse itself. I have nothing but time. I'm laid up in bed."

"But is it something that fills your heart; that excites you, that makes you run back to your pen and pad when you have a fresh idea?"

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "It's been awhile since I've written them. Who's the first in line to meet the blackness?" I asked.

"Oh...Alexander's out there, him being your first. I believe Carlos is close as well. Alexander travels though. You know that. If his home is taken he won't be."

"Alexander..." I repeated the name like it was the last person I could think of that would be in any danger of disappearing. "If these places go will I remember them?" I asked.

I searched both of their faces as they looked to each other nervously. As I was hiding what truly had broken my heart, they were hiding what I knew to be true, even if it wasn't admitted. Mr. McGinty decided to be the brave one and shook his head, his bottom lip protruding in sadness.

"No girl. I don't think you will."

Conal let out a small howl, feeling the clenching of my gut as Mr. McGinty spoke the worst outcome. So much rode on what I wrote. People's lives, as they existed in these worlds, were in great danger and my memory of them was in just as much trouble. On top of feeling hurt about Grant, I was now struggling to cope with what was happening to my books. Lamp lights flickered around us as all of it sunk in. Conal looked about, his ears turning this way and that in reply to the disturbance that was my doing, although I didn't know it. The people sitting with me straightened in their chairs, aware that something was happening and getting nervous about it. The question that lingered with me was how I was going to fix everything without being able to. I needed help. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed James.

"Who is James to me?" I asked, everything feeling calm the moment he came into my mind.

Their faces softened in relief, noticing the heaviness dissipate into a lighter feeling. It didn't last long.

"Only Alexander knows who James really is. To us, he's a child with no manners and no discipline. He creates trouble everywhere he goes." Mr. McGinty scowled.

"So he's a prankster." I replied. "What was the worst thing that he's ever done here?"

"Only ran through my vegetable patch, naked as the day he was born. He stops at my window, displaying his glory right in front of me and steals my pie!" Mrs. Dickson grew hot remembering the site of his bare backside running off with a warm cherry pie.

"You're joking?" I asked. "When was this?"

"Not three weeks ago. I lost my temper. He was told never to come here again but does he listen..?"

"No!" Mr. McGinty said.

"No! The only one that seems to be able to control him is Alexander." Mrs. Dickson continued.

I remembered the practical jokes that I used to play on Ashlynne. My father would get so angry because there was no end to my scheming. Luckily, I grew out of it. A week suspended from grade seven helped in that department as well. I couldn't help it. I liked to joke around. I still did but it was on a much smaller scale; something which Ashlynne was grateful for.

"I'm sorry about your...pie. I'm sure it was humiliating." I told her. "I was somewhat of a jokester myself when I was younger. I guess I grew out of it."

"A wild child hey? Is that why you and James are friends." Mr. McGinty stared me down and I brushed him off.

"I only just met James."

"Huh, he's talked about you like he's known you forever."

"Well maybe he has. Maybe Alexander can tell me who he is to me." I shrugged. "I only just met him."

Conal rolled to his side and I rested my hand on his large body. I definitely knew who Conal was to me. There was a deep connection there and I watched his cues in reaction to mine and vice versa. Who would have guessed that living in the pit of my stomach, was a wolf, giving me direction on how to proceed. He must have been busy over these last months and I stroked him in sympathy at what I must have put him through. I probably owed James an apology too but something told me he already knew. If James was to guide me along this journey we would have to have a long talk about growing up. I didn't need a child guiding me here or there, I required a man. Hopefully he could pull that off. All I had were the tales of two crotchety, yet caring old people and I wanted to believe what I felt and not what I heard.

*****

The sun started to rise; its stretch of rays touching the windows and making shadows on the walls from the blinds that blocked its view. James stood in the corner of the room as nurses and doctors came and went. He did lie beside her for a time and knew she was getting stronger every hour. He didn't want to brag, but he thought maybe he had something to do with that. She was fine in her books. She actually slept quite well at Mrs. Dickson's house which he was hoping for. He didn't have to see what she was doing there to have a sense of what was going on. She was at peace with little stress. It was a feeling he and Conal hadn't felt in a long time and he reveled in the small moment.

Now it was nearly time to go back and have her return here. Her family would be coming in the next few hours. As the nurse washed her, he respectfully stood outside of the room and waited until the nurse left. It was not yet seven when James saw him. He was sneaking slowly down the hall, gazing at everything but a human face or body, as his was full of guilt and regret. It was just like this man to come when he knew no one would have arrived yet. Coward. Grant was the last one that should have had any privileges in regards to Shannon but James and Shannon were the only ones that knew why.

"What the hell are you doing here?" James whispered, irritated at the site of him.

"Excuse me sir? Visiting hours aren't until nine." A nurse with a nametag reading Kris stopped him and James stood at Grant's side, happy that someone was aware he shouldn't be here.

"Oh, I was told I could come any time. I'm Grant Burnett, Shannon's partner."

"That is such bull shit and you know it." James hissed.

"I'm so sorry. Yes, you're here on the list. Please go ahead. I'm sorry. We have to be strict in this area." Kris apologized kindly.

James rolled his eyes and stomped his foot.

"You have to be kidding me. He's on the list!" He exclaimed.

"Thanks. It's no problem. How is she?" Grant asked.

"Stronger." Kris confirmed.

"That's good news." Grant replied relieved.

He pointed to the room and she nodded her head confirming that's where Shannon was. James followed him closely and stood at the head of Shannon's bed, placing a protective hand on her shoulder. Grant, after taking one look at her, nearly fell to the floor. His chin quivered violently and he had to hold on to a side table for support. His eyes filled with tears and he could barely control his emotion as he stood not five feet away.

"Jesus." He said softly, finding the act of speaking difficult.

James only thought how lucky it was that Shannon wasn't here to hear him. He didn't think she was ready and the worst thing that could happen was another heart failure because she couldn't handle seeing the one that betrayed it. Grant crept towards the bed and sat in the chair that was used by Heather and Malcolm. He rubbed his palms on his pants, nervous to touch her. When he finally took her hand, James had to look away. It was too much to have him touch her.

"Hey Shannon, it's Grant. Can you hear me?" He asked softly, playing with her fingertips. "I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday. I just couldn't face you."

"Then why are you here?" James asked, pronouncing every word as its own sentence.

"I can't believe what I've done; what it's caused. It's all my fault you're in here. I had all these excuses to tell you but, in truth, nothing could excuse this." Grant cried, oblivious to James who was livid.

"It is your fault we're here you twit! Get out of here!"

Of course Grant couldn't hear James' demands but James needed to let it out anyway. It was too much to keep it in and let this liar cry before her, feeling sorrier for himself than the person lying in the bed. He didn't want to watch it, yet he couldn't leave her side. James had to protect her, even if she had no idea who was crying over her body.

"Grant?" Heather walked in, surprised to see him here so early.

"Oh, Heather. Hey." Grant hastily stood, wiping his eyes, trying not to show Shannon's mother how upset he was. "I wanted to get here early before I had to clear my calendar at work."

Heather walked closer to him and opened her arms for a hug. He accepted but was uncomfortable with it. This woman could sniff a lie from miles away. She wouldn't have made a good lawyer. On the contrary, she would have made an excellent judge. Heather let go and went to kiss her daughter before sadly turning back to Grant.

"Apparently she went into cardiac arrest last night. She's been good ever since though. They don't know what caused it." Heather shrugged, feeling as though she should have been here but there was really no point.

"How's Malcolm? I hope this hasn't been too stressful for him. I mean...of course it has but..."

"He's okay. He's holding up as well as any of us. He's confused as any of us." She told him.

"What do you mean?" Grant asked.

"We just don't understand how Shannon could walk into oncoming traffic."

James' ears perked. He knew exactly what she was doing. He quickly went to her and talked behind her.

"Yeah Grant, how is it that Shannon would just walk into traffic on a busy morning. What would make her do such a thing?" James spoke as if he was there and Grant could see him.

"I really don't know. Like I said, I had left my building to go for a quick run and she was across the street. She had a blank stare on her face, like she couldn't remember what she was doing and just started to walk." Grant was nervous and needed to escape this conversation.

"You're such a liar! Tell her the truth. Tell her so she knows how to take care of her daughter's broken heart along with her broken body you jerk!" James continued his verbal assault.

"Yes, I know what you said." Heather crossed her arms staring at him with those intense green eyes she had passed along to her daughters. Ashlynne also mastered that look. Shannon had it but rarely used it, instead choosing to believe everything someone told her. Grant had used it to his advantage one too many times.

James clapped his hands, rubbing them together while laughing. She knew and if she didn't she had a clue.

"Ha ha Grant! She can see right through you." James teased with delight. "He's lying Heather. Ask him what really happened. I bet he'll lie again." James pointed accusingly at Grant and Heather turned her ear towards James. James noticed the movement and was cautious yet hopeful. "You know I'm here?" James asked hesitantly then, putting his confusion aside, fought for Shannon. "Heather, he's not telling you everything."

Heather was sure she was hearing whispers; desperate whispers that pleaded with her, telling her something wasn't right. She tucked her copper hair behind her ear, trying to make out this feeling that was a breath of sound, but couldn't. She turned her attention back to Grant who had kissed Shannon's head and stroked her cheek.

"You need to go?" Heather asked.

"Yeah. I'll be back. I'm arranging things to take some time off." He answered.

"Oh good. She'll need everyone."

"I'll be back this afternoon. Can I bring anything? Dinner?" He offered taking out his car keys.

"No, I have a kitchen full of people making meals. Thank you. I'll call if anything changes." She told him.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later."

"Yep. I'll be here." She tried to smile at him as he kissed her cheek.

"See you."

"Bye."

He quickly walked out the door and she watched him go.

"What are you not telling me Grant?" She asked into the surrounding atmosphere. "Something's up."

James watched as she moved towards her daughter and unpacked her few belongings onto the table. Heather's face was troubled and she sat heavily in the chair, looking at Shannon. She picked up her daughter's hand and kissed it.

"Shannon honey, what do you know that he's not telling?"

James backed into a green doorway. Now was the time to get Shannon. She needed time with her family. Especially the one that knew something was going on and would help her the most.

*****

I awoke in the tiny bedroom I was given to spend the night. I was half hoping I'd wake up in my physical body but, instead, I woke up to fur and lots of it. Conal had taken residence beside me, squishing me against the wall. It wasn't horrible. It was just really hot.

"Okay Conal." I told him, pushing at his back. "Conal!"

He let out an irritated moan and stretched vertically but refused to move.

"Please let me out. I need some air." I pushed at his back with my feet, determined to move him even if it was only an inch. He didn't budge.

Frustrated I lay on my back, pushing my hair off my face, wondering what would move a large and heavy wolf out of a very comfortable feather bed. An evil plan came into mind and I pondered if Conal would go for it. The two of them were so close that I didn't think I would be believable but I would try.

"Where's James Conal? Hey? Where is he? Let's get him." I said with enthusiasm.

Conal whipped his head up and looked at the door; his ears twitching frantically to hear his friend.

"Is he there? Go see." I pressed.

Conal leapt from the bed, towards the door, biting the brass knob and trying to get it to open. I chuckled as I rolled out of the bed victorious.

"Sucker." I told him.

"You know, you really shouldn't tease him like that. It's very cruel." James chided from the back corner of the room.

I screamed in fright at the voice from the man I had no idea was there. I swore over and over again as he grinned at the sight of me.

"Where did you come from?! How did you get in here?" I demanded.

"The door." He answered pointing to the large wood door.

"God! What is wrong with you? You don't just watch people as they sleep. Creep!"

"Relax. I just got here an hour ago." He stood and gave Conal a good rub. "Did you learn why you're here?" He asked.

"I guess." I replied still surprised by his presence.

"You guess?"

"That thing in the sky. It's my fault but I don't know what's causing it."

"You don't."

"No." I answered. "Why would I?"

He stared at me in silent accusation. It unnerved me and as such, my impatience was visible.

"Would you stop." I told him.

"You know what it is and yet you refuse to say it." James said stepping closely.

"I don't want to talk about it and it's none of your concern. It has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me. I live there, remember, that heart thing...it's my home!"

"I'm not talking about this right now." I replied trying to cut off this line of conversation.

"You need to deal with it because I just had to watch him crying over your body like he deserves consolation for something that is HIS fault."

"Do not start accusing me of things that he's doing! Oh, and by the way, if we're to travel together to fix this, you need to keep your clothes on. You need to stop running through gardens and flashing everyone and you need to stop pulling irritating jokes and grow up."

James glared at me as I spoke but I wouldn't waiver in my position. I crossed my arms defensively, raising an eyebrow, and waited for whatever it was he wanted to say.

"I wouldn't talk Shannon. I seem to recall a certain someone, running naked across her college campus, drunk on coolers and puking on a flag pole."

"You listen to me." I wagged my finger in his face but he only brought his face closer, ready for the challenge. "I paid for that. I almost got kicked out of that college. You, on the other hand, won't even apologize."

"To that woman! No way. She's nuts." He twirled his finger at his temple to illustrate what he meant.

"Fine." I went for the door. "Be that way. But she's not nuts; she maybe a little dramatic but not nuts."

James grabbed my shoulder and Conal backed out of the way, sitting on his hunches, patiently waiting for the end of these tempered discussions.

"You want me to amend things with everyone here? Fine, I will. But that means you have to confront what's happening with you and Grant so you can find your happiness again. Then, hopefully, you can concentrate on what has filled you more than what he ever could."

"He did fill me okay. I love him and he broke my heart." I tried to keep the tears at bay. It was hard but I didn't want to cry over Grant.

"Yes, you love him. I know that but you also know he isn't the one and you were wise enough to make the decision to end it. Did you recognize how better you felt when you made that decision? And then you wavered." James replied.

"If you are the guide to my heart than it's you who wavered so don't feed me lines of bullshit and I'm not talking about this anymore. I'm here to fix this and then I'm out of here. Where ever you decide to be after this is done is your concern. I'll live the life I want. I have the final say. Not you, not Conal, not even characters in a book can change that."

We stared at each other for a long while before James backed down and held up his hands, giving up.

"Alright. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pick at fresh wounds. I'm here to help." He told me softly yet disappointed.

"Thank you."

"Your mom's at the hospital. I'll take you back."

"Great." I answered.

James didn't want to upset her anymore but he had to get something off his chest. He knew she didn't understand what they were to each other and he didn't know if she ever would but she needed to know why he was feeling the way he was.

"Shannon..."

"What?" I asked hesitantly.

"You need to know that Grant...he hurt me too. It isn't easy for me to watch you aching and refusing to open up. I feel what you feel and it's not just from the accident. This has been going on for a while now, even if you just realized it. I simply need you to know that I understand your feelings. I understand you."

I held onto the doorknob and turned it. This man did know me and my instincts were telling me there was more to us than just a working relationship. I didn't know how to ask and now was not the time. I had just met him yesterday.

"Okay. You understand." I confirmed. "I'll try to remember that."

I pulled open the door and descended the narrow staircase that led to the living room. The house seemed like it was empty. I peeked out a window and saw Mrs. Dickson in her garden, the weeds chances of survival diminishing as she bore down on them. We let ourselves out of the house and wandered toward her. She saw us quickly and paused in her never ending war. She smiled in welcome at me, not paying attention to James.

"You're up. Wonderful." She said.

"I need to see my mother so I have to go...for now." I noticed her worried expression and wanted to ease it quickly. "I'll be back. Right?" I turned to James and he smiled in return.

"You'll be back." He answered.

"I'll fix it. I'll do whatever it takes." I reassured her. "I hope to see you again soon."

"We will see each other I'm sure. Good luck to you Miss. Donnelly."

"Will you say good bye to Mr. McGinty for me. It seems he's left."

"I will." Mrs. Dickson agreed.

"Great." I stepped up to her and gave her a hug. "See you."

"Bye now, Shannon."

James knew he had to do his part. If he was expecting Shannon to mend her life then he had to mend this one. He cleared his throat and looked to the ground. This would not be easy.

"Mrs. Dickson." He began.

"James." She answered shortly

He brought his face to meet her scowl and it was all he could do not to walk away.

"I want to apologize for my behavior. I'm sorry about the trouble I've caused you." He said it quickly like a child being made to do it although, he did his very best to mean it.

"Well..." She answered. "I'm sorry too."

James shot his head up in surprise and glanced at me. I was just as confused as he was.

"But he ran through your garden...you know...naked." I told her.

"Yes, but to be fair, none of us have ever given James a solid chance either. Maybe it was your relationship with Alexander that had us all ruffled. Alexander's a wonderful and gentle man but he never did feel for us what he feels for you James."

"He's like a father to me." James replied.

"Yes." She nodded. "No more pranks to get attention young man. You have it already because you've brought her here and that forgives all. Help her help us. I know that's why you've brought her. As much as we don't get along, I hope that can change, for Shannon's sake."

James couldn't believe his ears. Maybe this wasn't just about Shannon and the relationship with her writing. He had decided to move here, without asking, shaking things up and not in a good way. It appeared that he had something to do with Shannon's relationships to her imagination and her books as much as she did. He did live where she wrote from. His mischief had escalated because he was bored and these worlds were starting to resent him for it. Perhaps he had some things to learn along the way as well and, in turn, help the woman he loved.

"Thank you Mrs. Dickson. Maybe it can."

"Good boy." She smiled uncomfortably.

"Would you like to hug it out as well?" He teased.

"Not particularly." She declined.

James straightened his clothes, with a slight tug, at being declined then pivoted on his heel to walk away.

"Crazy old woman." He muttered.

"What was that?" She asked, knowing full well what he said.

He turned back to her and bowed slightly.

"Lovely woman. You're just lovely. Coming Shannon?" He asked walking faster.

I gave her a little wave and followed. Mrs. Dickson chuckled and shook her head at the pair of us. She also felt better that some of the air was cleared between her and James and secretly wished him luck with the others.

*****

When I arrived at the hospital I didn't know what to expect. I guess it was a relief to see my family around me. Grant was nowhere, for now. Ashlynne was massaging my feet and mom was reading a magazine to me. Dad was reading the paper by the window, keeping watch over his girls as they visited. Dr. Petersen was coming down the hallway and I quickly maneuvered to the left, giving him room to pass. Surprised to feel fur, I looked down and saw Conal.

"What are you doing here?" I asked crouching down to give him a facial squish.

You will always have one of us present with you at all times.

I didn't expect to hear James but he was around, in a way. Conal could hear him as well. I recognized the clues; the twitching ears and the alert posture, ready for any direction he was given by the heart. Not hearing any, he left me and hopped onto the bed, laying his head on my physical legs. He looked like a real whole wolf to me, even in reality, and he appeared to be covering my whole lower body. With a closer look I saw that the mattress did not sink any further and my leg bones were safe from any more abuse.

Dr. Petersen flew into the room with a smile. His lack of concern was oddly comforting and I stood by my mother to hear what he had to say.

"Good morning Donnelly's. I come baring no bad news." He announced flipping through his chart.

"That's good to hear." Malcolm rose from his chair and fitted his hands on his hips. "What I want to know is what really happened last night. Why did her heart stop and why weren't we called?"

"I understand your concern Malcolm. I really do. I haven't gone home yet, just in case something like that were to happen again. It hasn't and by all appearances, her heart is in beautiful condition. I can't say what happened but I can tell you she's stronger for it."

"Stronger?" Ashlynne asked. "She'll wake up soon?"

"We'll watch her today and make a decision tomorrow. She was tragically hurt only yesterday so I'm going to edge on the side of caution rather than make a hasty decision."

"That's fine." Heather replied. "Whatever's best for her."

"Good. Shannon will be taken for another CT and MRI scan this afternoon. Other than that, she's doing fine. She'll make it." He told them.

Malcolm let out the breath he was holding. He was relieved. He wasn't about to relax and be able to wait at home but his shoulders felt a little lower, not so close to his ears. He hadn't slept, only dozing on and off, always listening for the phone. Heather crashed for a couple of hours and he suspected that she had taken something to help her calm down. Ashlynne didn't sleep at all, deciding only to watch late night television to take her mind off what was happening. She looked exhausted and Malcolm would send her home soon to have a rest.

"Any questions?" Dr. Petersen asked.

"Nope." Heather shook her head.

"Thank you Dr. Petersen." Malcom told him.

"See you soon."

And just like that, he was gone.

Malcolm sniffed at the air. He came closer to the bed and continued to sniff.

"That's funny." He murmured.

"What's the matter?" Ashlynne asked.

"Do you smell...do you smell a dog?"

Ashlynne smelled the air and looked at Heather who was doing the same thing. They smiled at each other a little befuddled at what they smelled.

"You're right dad. I smell a dog." She leaned her face to where it was the strongest.

Conal lifted his head so he was nose to nose with her. I giggled as Ashlynne got a lick for her trouble and she drew back, feeling something but not knowing what it was.

"That was weird." She stood and chuckled with uncomfortable surprise.

"What?" Heather asked.

"You can feel him?" I asked her. "Ashlynne?! Can you hear me?" I asked in anticipation.

"I swear to God that I was just licked by a dog." Ashlynne told her parents.

"Okay, you need to go home and get some sleep." Malcolm told her sternly.

"Dad! You're the one that smelled it first." She defended herself.

Curious, Heather stood and went to where Ashlynne was, bringing her face to where Ashlynne's had been. As before, she felt the whispers of a voice, this one was higher pitch, like a female's.

"Do you hear that?" She asked them, quickly snatching her hand away from the bed feeling the wetness of dog's nose. "Jesus!"

"Mom! You can hear me!" I was elated. I didn't know what I'd do with this but at least I knew that they could feel I was here.

"Ashlynne's telling the truth Malcolm. There's a dog on that bed." Heather pointed.

"You're both crazy." Malcolm came over and tried for himself.

"Dad! You don't have to worry about me. I'm with James!" I called to him.

Conal sat up and thumped his tail on the bed, howling in happiness as it was mine.

The Donnelly's all looked around the room and Heather snickered, bringing her hand to her mouth.

"What is that?" Ashlynne grinned.

"Who's James?" Malcolm asked.

Conal stopped and, hearing his friend's name, listened intently. I nearly fell to the floor.

"You guys don't have to worry!" I exclaimed. "I'm with James! I'm okay! I'm here with you right now and you know it. Can you feel me?" I cried happy tears as they heard me but not enough to know it was me who was talking to them.

Conal rubbed himself against my father's chest and he jumped back in fear.

"Holy shit there's a dog on the bed." He said out loud.

"I don't know any James." Heather replied breathlessly. She didn't understand what was happening but felt that Shannon had a friend, where ever she was right now. "The dog maybe?"

What was a happy feeling soon turned to one of fear. The happy wolf that was greeting everyone from the bed was now snarling and snapping; almost frothing at the mouth as if possessed by the devil himself. I looked at what Conal was staring at and came face to face with Grant. He was so close that if I was awake, I would be able to stroke his cheek tenderly; or slap it. The latter was how I suddenly felt. The closer he got to the bed the worse Conal was becoming. Malcolm felt something was wrong and stood in front of the bed as if keeping something away from the man that just walked in. Heather came protectively behind Ashlynne, not knowing exactly why the room changed but it had and it was because of the man that just walked in.

"Hey guys." Grant greeted them oblivious to the difference.

"Grant, thanks for coming." Malcolm told him still blocking his way.

Grant stared around at each of them, not understanding their hesitation with him.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yes, of course. Everything's fine. Shannon's doing well." Heather answered. "We're glad you could make it."

Heather sat on the bed and reached for the area that she had felt an animal. Feeling it again, she patted the bed. As I watched in disbelief, Conal settled himself on my legs and welcomed the comfort from my mother. With Grant thinking she was rubbing my leg, she was actually rubbing the head of a large wolf. A line between physical and spirit had been crossed. They were now the same and I prayed it lasted until I could wake up. I came behind my mom and laid a hand on her shoulder. Her quick intake of breath told me she knew it was me. As with James earlier, it was shocking to me.

"Good." Grant answered.

"You know what, let's give Grant a few minutes." Malcolm offered.

"That'd be great." Grant agreed. "If you don't mind."

"No, not at all." Heather answered. "Ashlynne, come on. Maybe we can get you a cot to lie on while we wait."

Ashlynne agreed thinking a cot would be a welcome addition to the room and they left.

Conal covered my body with his. I simply stayed where I was. If I had to see him, now was as good a time as any.

Grant sat close to the bed and stroked my forehead. He smiled into my face, wishing that I was awake for what he was about to say but didn't want to keep it to himself any longer. I was the only one he wanted to tell.

"Hey Shannon. Good news. They offered me partner this morning. Can you believe it?! I came here right away to tell you. I had to tell you first."

I rolled my eyes. Even when I was unconscious, Grant could only talk about work. Good for him. His life was working out well.

"That means our future's set. We can have that life we talked about. Remember those days?" He took my hand and kissed the fingers one by one.

I was floored.

"Are you serious?!" I yelled. "After everything you've done! After what you did! You think we have a future!" I screamed at him. "Get out of here!"

The heart monitor started showing my distress. Conal stood and assumed the same position, snarling and snapping his jaws in the direction of Grant. He remained oblivious. There was a definite difference between our connection and the connection I had with my family. It didn't stop me from pummeling him with words anyway.

"How could you Grant? How could you even consider something like that?! Do you honestly think I would ever trust you again?!"

Nurses ran in and Grant stood, dropping my hand.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." Kris told him honestly. "Calm down Shannon. Calm down." She told me softly.

I heard her and I knew she was right. The last thing I wanted to do was upset my family because of Grant's stupid assumptions. I turned away from him, needing the space to breathe while Conal chose to remain where he was. I thought I'd be ready to see Grant but I wasn't. I didn't know how I was going to pull this off. It was too hard and too soon. James was right when he reminded me how I felt when I made up my mind; the night of my announcement that I was going on vacation. The people I needed in my life were my family and as much as I wanted to hang on to Grant, there was just nothing there for me anymore but questions. These questions took me away from so much that I loved to do. Grant continued to have this pull on me and it was still there when I saw him outside his building and before I saw the blonde. The memory made my stomach turn and I shook it away. I couldn't face him, not like this. I couldn't be here when he was here.

"James?" I asked. "Please James, I want to go back."

As soon as I said the words it started very slowly but quickly grew in speed. Without giving Grant another look I walked through the haze; Conal leaping from the bed and following just as it closed around me. James was waiting, his hands at his sides, watching as I walked towards him. I walked slowly at first, feeling like I had disappointed him. He simply opened his palms in invitation of solace. I moved quickly towards him falling into his offer. I cried as I pressed my face into his shoulder. He held on tightly, our bodies fitting perfectly together. He whispered words of comfort as I cried, agreeing that there was nothing that I could accomplish until I woke up from this slumber. He rocked me as we stood, in the middle of a poppy field, watching the nothing as it crept even closer.

*****

James walked behind her and Conal took the lead. She completely shut down. He thought they were getting somewhere but after what had happened in the hospital room, it was now back to square one. So, James decided it was time to see Alexander. It was a long walk but James couldn't wait any longer. If anyone could make her talk it would be the grandfather-like figure that she wrote about years ago, keeping him alive by re-reading his story over and over again. He really wanted to take her hand in his and walk beside her but after he had held her, separating from her body was nearly impossible and he didn't want Alexander to get any wrong ideas, even though they would probably be correct. When she was with the old man, James would go to the hospital and try to get a message to Heather. Obviously James and Conal could be heard, the problem was it wasn't loud enough. But why could they be heard? That was the part that intrigued him. Was it because they were such a close family? Or was it because of something or someone, this God being maybe, that was in charge of such things, influencing the situation so they could have a voice. Either way, James needed to talk to Heather. If he couldn't get through to Heather it would be Ashlynne. It needed to be someone and quickly. When Shannon woke up, Grant needed to be kept away or at least given limited visitation; only until Shannon was strong enough to take care of herself.

Beyond the field of flowers and beyond the woods they walked. They walked in a different direction than Mrs. Dickson's place. They walked towards more stories but James didn't need her to meet just any character. That could wait. He only thought of Alexander and when Alexander heard him, he would come.

"James?"

He quickened his steps so he could come to her side. He was secretly hoping she would start talking soon just so they could interact more. He wanted to experience her when she was here, as much as he was able to.

"Yes." He answered.

"Why could my family feel Conal? Why do you think they could feel me?" I asked as I picked at a blade of grass.

"I've been puzzled by that myself. I honestly can't tell you but it wasn't a bad thing. It gave them just as much comfort as it gave you."

"It was comforting." I agreed.

I stopped and faced him. He seemed uneasy with me and I wasn't sure why.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing." James answered a little too quickly. Realizing that, he calmed himself down and repeated what he said. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely. It's fine."

"Okay." I said quietly. "Thank you James."

"For what?"

"For your comfort." I replied honestly. "It's nice to have someone to fall into every now and then."

He looked surprised that I would thank him for something so trivial, or so it was to a man who resided in hearts.

"Always Shannon. You can fall into me always."

He slid his fingers between mine, not being able to control the movement, as it came so naturally. I stared at our joined hands, puzzled at why it felt so familiar. I gently squeezed his fingers and smiled slightly. Looking into his face, I found that he was no longer uneasy with me but uneasy with the feelings that surrounded us at this moment. I knew he was feeling them because I was feeling them along with guilt that I was holding another's hand too soon after I had held Grant's.

"Who are you to me?" I asked. "Why is it that I barely know you but know you are mine?"

"I..." James broke his eyes from mine and searched the skies for answers that he could tell me. Still holding onto my hand, he stroked its fingers. "I'm just a guide." He finally said.

"But you live in my heart."

"Isn't that where most things are that guide you?" He asked in return.

"I always thought it was the mind." I answered.

"The mind plays tricks; it over thinks things. The heart is truth. You used to listen to it but its voice has been silenced by this." He stroked the temple of my head.

"What haven't you been telling me?" I wondered knowing the answer already.

We were so wrapped up in each other that we didn't hear another coming closer. Seeing so much happening too quickly made Alexander uneasy and he walked faster perceiving feelings of true love that he gave explicit instructions not to entertain.

"Well isn't this a wonderful site. Shannon Donnelly, at long last we meet." Alexander proclaimed in a raspy yet deep voice. "My my my. What a beautiful girl." He smiled.

James dropped my hand as soon as he heard him. He swore to himself at his weakness and simply looking at Alexander, James knew he would have some explaining to do. With an apologetic look he stepped away.

"Shannon Donnelly, I would like you to meet Alexander."

"Alexander?" I asked.

With the abrupt interruption, I still craved to feel James' hand in mine but he ended it so quickly that I was left feeling slightly abandoned.

"What's the matter child? Don't you know me?" He asked feigning insult.

"Yes, yes of course. Alexander." I went to his open arms and hugged him. It was like hugging family recently reunited after so long apart.

Alexander scolded James with a look as he held me. James rolled his eyes and said sorry with no voice. Alexander let go and held me away from him.

"Let me take a look at you." Alexander said playfully while twirling me around. James couldn't help but chuckle quietly. "You've grown into a beautiful woman Shannon."

"Thanks. It's so great to meet you."

"What do you mean by meet? We've known each other for years." He argued gently.

"Yes. My mistake. We've known each other for years." I laughed.

"And now, it is me who must help you." Alexander turned serious while studying me.

"That's my cue." James announced backing away.

"Why?" I asked, feeling a slight panic as he walked further from me.

Conal came to my side and sat. James grinned at him.

"It's not just heart Shannon. It's courage too. I'll see you soon." He waved, turned, and was gone over a hill within the blink of an eye.

Alexander watched my reaction as he left. He now felt badly that he had interrupted us but there were reasons and those reasons were of protection towards a heart that was already so fragile.

"Shall we walk?" Alexander asked. "There's a lovely lake just over that ridge. I think you'll recognize it."

"I'd love to." I answered.

He offered his arm and I took it.

Alexander, the grandfather I never knew but always dreamed of. Although that wasn't completely true. My father's dad was alive when I was born but passed away four years later. Ashlynne could remember him a little bit but I had no recollection of him in my vast memory. So one afternoon while I was looking at old family albums, at our summer cabin, I asked my parents who it was that was bouncing me on his knee in a photo. They laughed together at the memory of that day. For the rest of the afternoon and well into dinner, they told me all sorts of stories about him. I asked if I could keep his picture and my dad had asked why.

"Because I want to write him." I answered.

"You want to write him? What does that mean?" Malcolm asked.

"I want to write a story about him."

I was seventeen when I said that and I didn't think they believed me. Seven years later I had proved the doubters wrong and I loved him. He was tall and thickly built. As with Mr. McGinty, his hair was thinning on the top of his head, nearly bald, but had white hair gracing the sides and back. His eyebrows never aged, remaining black and full above deep brown eyes. His complexion showed signs of wear from weather but his body remained strong and limber as he was a traveler and walked for miles a day. He wore a kilt and wool sweater walking with a long cane whittled by him. His feet were covered with dark brown leather boots that rose to the bottom of his calve muscles; well-worn as the leather molded to his feet. He gave an air of knowledge and candor but a gentleness that welcomed people compassionately.

"So how are you faring Shannon? Do you like where James has brought you?"

"Yes. What author gets this chance? It's amazing to me." I answered, watching this world as it allowed me to walk through it.

The darkness on the horizon stole my attention and I stared at it, wondering if it appeared closer than earlier. Alexander followed my gaze and nodded.

"It's difficult to judge how long it will be before it gains entrance into these lands." He told me.

"I thought it was already here." I replied.

"Not quite. For some reason, it's stalled its invasion. I rarely stay at my home, just in case; to be safe."

"I wish I knew what to do." I admitted. "I'm slowly starting to realize what I've done but how quickly can a heart and soul mend itself from tragedy?"

"No one's saying it will be easy." He answered. "The worst thing you could do is close yourself off from feeling anything at all. Let the feelings come. Let them be heard. Empty yourself and only then will you be able to fill yourself again with what you love and loves you the same way in return."

"Are we talking about real individuals or made up characters." I teased, only to lighten the seriousness in his demeanor.

"Can't it be both? It has before." He replied.

I smiled sadly knowing what he meant.

"That was so long ago."

"Things change. People change and people can change back when they realize their wrong doings. Are they worth the forgiveness if they become what they were or, when growing apart, is it worth the pain of trying to keep what is only familiar?"

"My parents make it look so easy." I admitted.

"Ah yes. The proverbial fairy tale ending." He smiled. "Should everyone be so lucky to find their hearts' desire so early in their lives."

"Do you think it'll ever happen to me? Or maybe it already has and I missed it."

"That's not something that you could miss Shannon. No, you haven't missed it. I'm sure he's on his way."

"So it's not Grant?"

Alexander stopped walking and turned towards me. As with James, it was frustrating where my energies were so concentrated but he had to remember that this was mine to work through and get past so I could move on.

"Like I said before, people can change and sometimes for the better. But, if two people grow apart and want different things, is it worth the struggle to keep it together?"

"We want the same things." I argued.

"Do you?" Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Maybe once dear one, but that was, as you said, a long time ago."

"How do you even know about Grant?" I asked watching as the water's edge, to a vast lake, appeared.

"James and I are very close. He tells me things when he needs to talk. He's just like everyone else. James is not immune to confusion, guilt, sadness, or love."

"That's funny. That's everything I've been feeling these past months." I replied.

"Well, it's no wonder."

I walked away from him, feeling drawn by the huge body of water that was rippling towards the sand. I knew this place. I wrote about it in one of my novels. It was a way of travel for those that lived in its pages. Looking out at the water, I knew I had based it on the childhood adventures that Ashlynne and I experienced during the summers at the cabin. Of course, being the joker, I would always dive under without her knowing and grab at her ankles. She would scream and swim away. We'd swim for hours, then lie on a beach, or float on mattresses made for tops of lakes. Then we'd swim again before being called in for dinners. I think the last time we went for a swim was four years ago. We rarely went out there anymore. It was more my parents that took the time to visit and maintain the place. Maybe it was time to renew that relationship as well. The relationship with my carefree youth.

Noticing a shadow come up beside me I picked up a stick and threw it in the water. Conal bounded after it, not being able to help himself, letting the idea of feeling carefree settle with him and going for it. I laughed as he read my mind, taking the floating piece of wood and bringing it back.

"He's a wolf." I laughed.

"He is that." Alexander replied chuckling as he looked on.

"And he's playing fetch."

"Wouldn't you?"

"I was just thinking I should start." I answered reading between the lines. "Who's James to me Alexander?"

Alexander bent and fiddled with stones that he found in the sand. He was obviously wasting time, not wanting to answer but knowing he must. Let the chips fall where they may, she needed to know. He stood again, shaking the stones in his old fist, letting them loose in the sand where they dropped in the form of a heart.

I drew my eyebrows together in confusion.

"What's that? A heart? He's a heart? He told me that's where he lived."

"He lives there. It's true." Alexander answered.

"So?"

"James is the one who will be reflected in the eyes of the one person you will love forever. He is the man that is your heart's desire."

I took a step back and snapped my fingers uncertainly.

"What do you mean?" I laughed nervously.

"He's who you'll end up with when you find him. You haven't found him yet."

"But...I love Grant, Alexander. I don't see James in Grant." I argued.

"He was never to reflect in Grant."

"No, Grant...we love each other. I mean...we were wild for each other. We have our problems but even you said people can change for the better."

"I'm not here to tell you who to love. I'm here to help you get over your hurt so you can love again. So you can be passionate again. So you can breathe life into whatever fills your heart. That's your stories. It's your fantasies whipped up by a vivid imagination. I want to help you start dreaming again. James wants to help you with that. It's not out of selfishness or fear of being erased. It's because we love you Shannon Donnelly. You gave us life. The least we can do is bring back yours."

If ever there was confusion in comfort this was it. James was my forever but I could only have him in someone else and Grant was not that person. Alexander said people could change. If there was ever a recipe for considerations of what ifs, it was right now. Could Grant change? Could we get back what we had? Was it even worth it? And if Grant changed would I see James in his eyes? So many questions engulfed my mind. They played and teased me, leaving me the helpless observer. This is what I required help with. This is what I needed to figure out and I knew the answers were in the black of nothing that was eating away at the center of my chest. James wasn't the only one that lived there. This whole place did. I needed to see it and confront it. I needed to see what was on the other side of darkness.

Alexander saw what I was looking at; what I was drawn to and a panic rose inside him. He knew what I was thinking and he shook his head gravely, making the only decision that he could.

"I will take you." He offered.

"No Alexander." I declined. "It's a journey that I need to take with my heart."

"And what about Conal?" Alexander asked.

"A journey of the heart takes courage right?" I offered, remembering what James had said earlier.

"That it does Shannon Donnelly. That it does."

*****

James found them all crowded around a man in the room. The man was explaining a procedure to them and they were watching him intently. No questions were asked, just silent worry and anticipation on their faces. Grant took the position, opposite Malcolm, at Shannon's head. The two women were at the foot of the bed.

"You're sure she's okay to come out of it? She's had a couple of scares since the accident and I don't want her compromised." Malcolm said.

"By all accounts, Shannon is good to come out of this. I'm going to be here at all times. We will take the respirator out first and then we will slowly bring her around. If I feel that she's not handling breathing well on her own, I'll support that but she's ready. I don't want to keep her sleeping if she's healthy enough to begin the next step to recovery. You will be able to come and see her when I can guarantee she's not in any trouble."

"How much longer will she be in intensive care?" Heather asked.

"Again, I'll know better when I assess her awake. I'd say chances are good that she'll be able to leave here by Wednesday. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask any one of us. I know this is scary but she's young. She's healthy. I will have the psych team called in for an assessment as soon as possible and they will come every day. As traumatic as this is for all of you, it is for her too."

Grant straightened at that. Heather noticed that he wasn't impressed with the idea of a psychiatrist and raised her eyebrow in interest.

"Why does she need a psych consult. She's the most sane, level headed person I know." Grant argued.

"Mr. Burnett, Shannon walked out into oncoming traffic with no rhyme or reason. I have ruled out stroke, memory loss, anything to do with a disruption to the brain. She was in shock after seeing something. Something that would make a person walk in front of a moving vehicle needs psych support when they find themselves in a hospital after doing so."

Grant shut his mouth and bounced his knee. Heather and Malcolm exchanged glances and Ashlynne narrowed her eyes.

"What's up Grant? Why so nervous about a psychiatrist. Do you know something we don't?" Ashlynne asked.

James grinned and stepped beside Ashlynne.

"No, I don't know anything. I've already said that, like, a thousand times." Grant snapped.

"If there's anything else?" Dr. Petersen wanted out of this minefield as soon as he could.

"Nothing, Dr. Petersen. Thank you. Just let us know what time this all starts." Malcolm offered his hand.

"Will do." He shook the hand, grateful for the small mercy of escape.

They didn't bother watching him go. They were trying not to feel the elephant in the room which was the fact that something must have happened between Grant and Shannon.

"Grant, would you like to get a coffee or something?" Heather asked, seeing that Grant was getting emotional.

"No. I'm fine." He stood and started walking out the door. "I think I need some air."

Heather looked to Malcolm and he nodded his approval for her to follow him. Malcolm wanted to know what was up but knew Grant wouldn't tell him. James was ready to follow anyone that was about to learn the truth. Heather left closely behind Grant while Ashlynne turned to her dad.

"Do you think something happened between Grant and Shannon dad?" She asked him.

"I think so Ash. I think something big happened but, even so, it's not for us to get involved." He warned.

"So why is mom going to him?"

"Because he needs to confess something and out of any of us, it's your mother that would be able to hear it and not beat him to a pulp." Malcolm answered.

Heather walked beside Grant who was trying to ignore that she was there. He stomped down a hallway then, having enough, turned on her.

"What the hell, Heather?! Leave it."

"Grant, I've known you some time now and in that time you have never treated any of us like that. Something's up and I need to know what. I just need to know how to help my daughter. Please be honest with me."

"I can't okay. I can't do this."

"Do what?" Heather begged. "What's going on? You'll feel a lot better if you let it out. Maybe I can help."

James was actually starting to feel sorry for the guy. The way his desperate pain was written all over his face but there was nowhere for him to turn. Shannon could turn to James, or Alexander; even her family could be there for her in some way. Grant had no one but the chill of a corporate job and the revulsion of another woman underneath him, in the dark of night, which had been a replacement for an honest conversation he could never have with Shannon.

"You can help? Help what? Can you turn back time? Huh? Can you call me, warning me that Shannon's coming over so she doesn't see a woman leaving my building in my clothes? Can you hold back your daughter from crossing a street when she sees me...when she sees me with another woman? Can you do that Heather? Please tell me you can because that is the only thing that I need help with."

Grant sobbed. He sobbed so much that he had to take the nearest chair and hold on for dear life because he was drowning in guilt and sadness. James paled hearing his admission. It hit him like a gale force wind and could have sent him flying back against a wall if it wasn't for the fact that he was half expecting it. James was here to try and tell Heather the truth; instead, he watched it fall out of the mouth of Grant. James immediately checked on Heather. Her chin quivered violently and rage flashed in her eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her. He couldn't hold her back in case she tried to attack Grant but at least he could try to do something, in the middle of a hallway, with all sorts of people passing by to watch the show.

"You..." Heather took a breath, although it was painful to do so, and swallowed bile. "You slept with another woman behind Shannon's back and she saw you with her?"

"She saw us leaving my place." Grant admitted. "It was obvious what had happened the night before."

"And was that night the only time?" Heather asked.

"Does it matter Heather?" Grant exclaimed. "Does it really matter?!"

Heather pressed her lips together, not knowing what to do. James could feel it so he tried what he thought would be best, knowing Shannon like no one else.

"He can't be here when she wakes up." He told her. "She's not strong enough Heather. Maybe she will be but not now."

Heather nodded knowing what her gut instinct was, or what she thought was her gut telling her what to do.

"Grant, I would appreciate it if you weren't here when she woke up." Heather told him.

"What? No...I need to see her. I need to explain..."

Heather cut him off with a hand and shook her head.

"You will get your closure when she is ready to hear it and not before that. She can't confront you right now but I can. Respect her enough to keep away until she asks to see you. You owe her that."

"I love her!" He begged.

"In the thirty five years that Malcolm and I have been married, not once have we ever strayed to another's bed. YOU have! YOU! Malcolm and I love each other. You obviously don't know what you want or what love means."

"That is not fair Heather." Grant argued.

"What's fair Grant? My daughter is lying in a hospital bed because she saw you with another woman! She almost died you selfish little man. Stay away from her!" She pointed to his chest. "Stay away from her until she asks to see you; if she asks to see you."

James stood back. Things were getting heated and a security guard was coming towards them. There was nothing more James could do here but he refused to leave Heather until she was back with her family.

"Good bye." Heather snapped.

Grant brushed at his eyes and rubbed his hand through his hair. He tilted his chin and smiled in shock then turned and walked away. The lump in James' throat burned and scraped at the sides. He could barely swallow. He didn't know why his reaction was so emotional but if he was the one that had to feel it for her, he would. He would protect her because there was more at stake than a tear or two and, at this moment, James swore he would love her. He would love Shannon back to existance and didn't give a shit what Alexander had to say. Even if Shannon left her books forever they would see each other again at a time when she could find love with a deserving man again; but it wouldn't be the one that could so easily walk away. Shannon might not feel that right now but she would. She did once and she would again.

Heather watched Grant until he was out of sight. Breathing deeply in and out, she turned to the wall of windows that showed the parking lot; all the little cars appearing like toys. She knew Grant wasn't the one for Shannon but to have it end like this was almost too much. How would she ever let Grant near Shannon when she finally asked to see him?

"There you are." Malcolm came around the corner to see if everything was okay.

"Here I am." She smiled at him, relieved to see her husband.

"Where's Grant?"

"He left. I asked him to leave." She admitted.

"Why?" Malcolm asked. "He's got a right to be here as well..."

"He slept with someone else and Shannon saw them together. That was right before she was hit."

Malcolm saw his wife's strength crumble and he hushed her bringing her close.

"I knew something was up Malcolm. I knew their relationship was having trouble but I didn't know how bad it was."

"Hush now. It'll be alright."

"How do I let him near her? How do I let him talk to her? She'll want to. I know she'll want to hear him out but I..."

"You can't stop it Heather." Malcolm pulled her away and stared into her eyes. "You can't stop what they need to figure out."

"Malcolm! He slept with another woman."

"I'm not making excuses but when she's ready she'll need closure or she'll always wonder what if. You know Shannon deserves that. She deserves to hear what he has to say to her even if we don't agree."

"But not now. Not when she's so fragile."

Malcolm patted her cheek and chuckled.

"No, not now."

"Why are you so calm about this? What's going on with you?" Heather asked confused.

"I'm livid." He admitted. "I'm so angry I could go over there and show him." Malcolm sighed and smiled sadly. "But I don't have the energy. All of me is here for my family and no one else. Just do me a favor sweetheart."

"What's that?" She asked.

Malcolm steered her away from the window and turned towards Shannon's room. Heather hugged him around the waist as they shuffled slowly.

"Please warn me when he's here. I don't think it would be safe for him if I was around when he finally showed up."

Heather laughed and James chuckled in the background hearing Malcolm's words. James was confused along with Heather as to why he was so calm. This was the man he knew though; the protector of his girls. Heather held him closer and agreed with a nod.

"I'll warn you in plenty of time to remove yourself from an impending temper tantrum."

"That's my girl. Let's celebrate about tomorrow; dinner at Shannon's favorite spot. How 'bout it?"

"Sounds good. I need a break." She replied.

"We all do. Let's go get Ashlynne. We'll eat, drink a little more than we should, come back here to say goodnight and get a good night's sleep for the next chapter." Malcolm said turning a corner.

"You always know the right thing to say."

"That's my job."

James stood back, letting them have each other. He wanted to see Shannon and tell her what had happened and hopefully, when she woke up, she would remember and know what was coming.

*****

Alexander had walked with me, showing the way to another story. It was a small community that was built near the lake but on the other side of where we had stood. Those that lived in these pages of mine were hard working with meager earnings and little belongings but they were a happy group, seeming oblivious to everything that was going on to the west of their home. Each person that passed us smiled in greeting but were quickly gone, as there was work to be done, children to feed, and homes to tend to. The busyness of these peoples' lives was my doing. I wanted to portray a place where too much emphasis was placed on a hurried existence for no reason, but now being here, I found it quite annoying. Alexander laughed as I had to step closer to a wall in the hopes of not getting run over by a man pushing a cart. As with all my novels, they were geared towards teaching their young readers lessons about life but the joke was on me because the lesson had obviously been ignored by those that lived here; all but one.

"I guess the story takes on a life of its own even when it's finished being written?" I asked Alexander as he took my hand and brought me closer to him.

"It does but that's the beauty of it. This is one of my favorite places to visit. It always gives me a good chuckle." Alexander cringed when he heard the crash of a cart and the groaning of two people that had collided. He rolled his eyes but didn't bother looking back. "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."

"We should go help." I exclaimed looking back.

"Goodness Shannon, not on your life." He scowled. "They'll be standing around apologizing to each other for the next twenty minutes. There are reasons that I brought you here and watching that isn't one of them. Come along."

As he said, the woman and man that had collided due to their distracted minds and preoccupation with things that must get done, began dramatically apologizing over and over again, drawing a crowd who in turn, started in on something that wasn't their business anyway. I stopped and viewed the scene with surprise.

"This is unbelievable." I whispered.

They suddenly stopped trying to talk over one another and stared in another direction, Alexander joined me in wondering why the apologies were cut short and all eyes were looking at something in the distance. It didn't take long for looks of curiosity to become looks of disdain. Irate shouts along with one or two fists in the air had me curious about who was coming.

"Oh no." Alexander sighed. "Not now."

"What? Who's there?" I asked standing on my toes to see further.

Conal whimpered, tale practically between his legs and Alexander moaned, slapping his forehead in parental frustration. James came into view and, feeling very unwelcomed, scowled back at the crowd.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt your ongoing apologies to one another? Heaven forbid one would do." James announced sarcastically.

"James." Alexander cringed and said helplessly.

"What's he done here?" I demanded.

Shouts from those offended by his presence had us concerned.

"Disperse! Be gone!" James waved them away which didn't help their irritation.

"Get him!" A woman cried.

"Oh shit." James stammered and ran up the cobblestone road towards us. "Run."

Alexander and I simply stood against a wall and stared as he ran up the road, the crowd deciding we weren't worth their time and the one that was running away was fair game. Conal trotted behind the crowd in obvious regret at having to be the bad guy and rescue his friend.

"Shouldn't we help him?" I asked pointing in the direction that James had run off to.

"I would. I really would but we're here." Alexander knocked on a small sign with his walking stick which made it swing back and forth on its brass chains.

"Fennig and Sons Incorporated." I read. "Gerald Fennig?" I asked.

"Himself." Alexander confirmed.

"Mr. Fennig doesn't have any sons. He has daughters."

"Yes but it wouldn't have that certain ring to it would it? Fennig and Daughters..."

"Sure. That makes perfect sense." I answered sarcastically.

"You wrote it." Alexander reminded me.

"I believe it was Fennig's Novelties and Charms."

"He told me he gets more business this way; less whimsical patrons and more down to earth ones."

"But he is whimsical." I argued.

"Things have changed. Come on."

Alexander opened the door allowing his presence to be known by pieces of metal clanging together after being struck. A middle aged man with wire spectacles sitting on the bridge of his nose turned to see who had entered his place of business. He had blonde hair and pale skin; the only color on his face being rosy cheeks burning red with the effort of lifting a box from the floor. There was calmness about him that was surprising as it seemed he was the only one to be able to slow down in this town. He was the one that I had written about, the calm in the storm; Mr. Gerald Fennig.

"Alexander! What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here? I hope it wasn't you that I heard clashing with the townsmen just outside. It sounded like quite a mess from in here. Like an angry mob I dare say." Gerald placed the heavy box on the counter and wiped his brow.

"Yes, an angry mob. Gerald. It's so nice to see you again. How are you?" Alexander greeted him.

"I'm quite well. Who's this?" Gerald smiled at me in greeting.

"This is Shannon Donnelly. I've brought her here so you could meet. I've also come for some supplies."

"Shannon Donnelly? My my...what a pleasure." Gerald came quickly around the counter. "Welcome Miss Donnelly."

He extended his hand and I took it, happy to meet him in person. He held mine with both of his and squeezed gently.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you." He exclaimed.

"Oh, I don't think I deserve such thanks." I answered embarrassed.

"Of course you do. Look at my shop. I have four beautiful daughters, a grandson..."

"A grandson? But I never wrote about a grandson." I told him letting go of his hand.

"You only start our stories Miss. Donnelly. It's us who finish them." Gerald winked.

Alexander looked uneasy then glanced back at the door. He wanted to be out of here before James showed up. The revelations that could be uncovered while standing in this room could end James for good and Alexander wanted to avoid it as much as possible.

"We need a map Gerald. Shannon is travelling her books towards nothing. Do you have the map available for her use?" Alexander got right down to it.

"Towards nothing? Shannon? Are you sure?"

"I have to. I have to see what's on the other side. I need to stop it before it gets here; to keep everyone safe." I said.

"I assure you, we're safe here." Gerald replied gently.

"And incredibly naïve. Gerald, we've all discussed this. Don't tell her something that isn't so."

"It's not for her to fix by herself." Gerald debated.

"No it isn't and she's not going by herself." Alexander answered.

A bang of a door flying open and a man diving towards the floor startled us and we looked towards the commotion. James scrambled to his feet and peered to look through the door being surprised by Conal's face appearing and pawing at the window to get in. James swore and turned the door knob, letting in the wolf that ran past him and straight to my side. James got to his feet and closed the blinds to the window, pressing his back against the door. We watched, still staggered by his entrance, not speaking but waiting to see what was coming next. Feeling there was nothing more, Alexander turned to a red faced Gerald Fennig.

"The map?" Alexander asked.

"GET OUT! Get out of here you...you rat!" Gerald shouted at James who wasn't at all bothered by it.

"Why? Oh, Thanks a lot by the way. I could have used your help." James grimaced at Alexander brushing off his suit jacket. "They almost killed me out there. If it wasn't for Conal I would have died!"

"Stop being so dramatic." Alexander scolded. "You should never have come in here. This is where you'll die."

Gerald, still livid at the sight of James, took a broom and swatted him over the head with it. He continued ushering James towards the door with the broom getting Conal in an angry frenzy while James protected himself as best as he could.

"Please, Mr. Fennig. Please calm down!" I exclaimed.

The words fell on deaf ears as Gerald, now sweating, was trying to beat James out of his shop like a raccoon out of his garbage. Alexander shook his head and took a seat on a stool. This was not working itself out so I stuck my fingers in my mouth and blew a piercing whistle that even Conal hid from.

"Everyone calm down! Jesus Christ! I did not intend on playing referee today. I have enough shit happening in my life that I am too tired to deal with this. Gerald, put the broom down!" I shouted.

"But..."

"Now!"

Gerald glared at James than tossed the broom to the floor, walking towards a wall that held what Alexander had requested. He went back behind the counter and slammed a roll of paper down then, bracing himself on the counter with his hands, took deep breaths of anger.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"He's nuts. All these people are nuts." James answered.

"We talked about this James. You were supposed to act very differently than you are right now."

"I've done nothing wrong since I arrived here a mere thirty minutes ago."

"Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong?!" Gerald yelled.

"Here we go." James rolled his eyes and gestured to the man a foot shorter than he was.

"You dare show your face here after what you did to my daughter?!"

"I did nothing to your daughter!" James yelled back.

"You defiled her, she had your son and you leave her and take no responsibility for your actions towards her!"

"James!" I exclaimed with angry shock.

"Would you help me out here?" James asked Alexander.

Alexander shrugged and continued to sit. James swore again and turned towards me.

"I did nothing like that. I am not his father." James told me. "I am not that boy's father!" He yelled at Gerald.

"Liar!"

"We did nothing like that. We only..." James started but quickly changed his mind with any sort of admittance. "We had a lovely evening but we did not do that! It's only because I'm the hated one here that makes everyone think they have the right to use me as a scapegoat but I did not have sex with your daughter."

"You're the devil himself!" Gerald fumed and if it wasn't for the counter between them, Gerald would have strangled him. "How dare you speak of my daughter as if she was some...Jezebel! You ruined her! You ruined Ellie; my baby girl!"

"Oh my God." I whimpered. "This is just getting worse." I rubbed my eyes in frustration.

I heard footsteps entering the shop from a back room. A worried woman came out carrying a baby, maybe ten months old. She was concerned at the shouts and it was obvious by the child's red cheeks and tear stained face that he wasn't enjoying them either.

"Father, what is all the noise? We have company and I'm trying...Oh, James." She looked at him with hopeful love in her eyes. He simply stepped closer to me. I stepped away from him, not wanting to be thought of as an accomplice in any of his wrong doings in this book.

"Eleanor." He greeted her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Would you like to see James Jr?" She asked happily presenting the boy with a bounce.

James's mouth dropped to the floor and Alexander's shoulders shook with silent laughter. I snickered and covered my mouth with my hand.

"You're joking? I'm not even the boy's father, Ellie!"

"How dare you say that in front of him." She pouted. "You won't even look at him."

"I'm looking and I'm seeing someone else's child!"

"Father, why is he here? Get him out of here." Eleanor cried.

"I'm trying but he's with Alexander and Shannon Donnelly. Tut tut sweetheart. They are only here for a map and they'll be gone."

"Eleanor, the tea?"

A red haired man entered the room. He was thin and lanky with a shy and quiet demeanor that was more annoying than pleasant. Even Eleanor didn't like the fact that he had entered the room, like he would give away a big secret. I looked closely at this man and found him very similar to the child that was smiling at him. They had the same face, the same eyes, and the same string bean body. They had the same awkwardness about them even though the child was still new. The boy did not share his mother's beauty, but in fact, shared all the appearances of this man that just walked into the room.

James narrowed his eyes at Eleanor but she dare not return his stare.

"Why you sneaky little girl." He seethed.

"Get out!" Gerald shouted.

"Do you not see it Gerald? The father's here all right but it's not me. Look at them. They're exactly alike." James pointed to the man who straightened, not quite sure what he had walked into.

"It's not true." Gerald shook his head. "Graham's been a friend of Eleanor's since she was five years old. They would never...they're like siblings they are."

"Tell him the truth Eleanor." James insisted.

"Stop it." She snapped back.

"Tell him the truth. You owe it to me and you owe it to that boy you hold in your arms!" James insisted.

Graham stood back in surprise, listening and getting the distinct impression that he had been lied to in the worst way.

"Eleanor?" He asked.

Eleanor held her son close while desperately looking for a way out. All eyes were on her and I stepped closer to James as an attempt at an apology. Conal sat on his other side and just stared.

"Eleanor, is this true?" Gerald demanded.

This girl appeared frightened and quickly nodded with tears spilling out of her eyes.

"It's true. I'm so sorry. I blamed James because I was too scared to tell anyone and I only spent the night with Graham because I was hurt that James refused me."

"You shared my bed because he wouldn't come to yours?" Graham asked. "Eleanor, how dare you..." Graham spoke sadly and not being able to finish, left the room the way he came.

"I'm sorry Graham!" She quickly followed and Gerald stared after them completely shocked.

Alexander stood and went to the counter. Gerald couldn't look at him but slid the rolled up parchment towards him instead.

"Here is your map. Please, if you would so kindly turn the sign to closed. I feel as if I'm done for today." He gave me a sideways glance and waved, humiliated by what had just happened. "It was a pleasure Shannon."

"Thank you Mr. Fennig." I answered.

"Goodbye then." He abruptly left behind the curtain.

When the room was finally quiet, I exhaled the breath that I didn't realize I was holding. James still seemed affronted by not getting the support from Alexander or myself and stomped out of the store, giving no thought to the possibility of an angry mob outside the door.

"Do you think he'll stay mad for long?" I asked Alexander.

"Oh, he has the upper hand in this one for sure."

"Did you think he actually fathered a child Alexander? Did you ever believe it?"

"Who, James? Well, to be honest, I wasn't completely sure. I'll pay for that one I suppose."

Alexander followed where James had stomped off and, grasping the small sign on the door, changed it so no one would enter the premises.

*****

We followed James for a little bit, back to the water's edge. Apparently this little day trip was out of the way. James stood at the shore, waiting by the old boat that we had taken on the other side. The vessel did look pretty rickety and I was surprised that it actually got us across. The fact that we had to cross back in the same boat made me nervous. I was clumsy in my movements, trying to get into the boat without getting my feet wet but it didn't work and I ended up getting wetter than I needed to be.

"You know James, the least you could do is hold the thing steady." I complained.

"Huh, interesting you should say that. So you needed some support getting into the boat?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Just like I needed support with the crazy family back there?"

I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. Alexander ignored him and climbed in as well.

"I'm sorry okay. Does that help?" I offered. "I had no idea what was going on and I barely know you and your history here. Obviously you've caused some trouble."

"Just a little." Alexander added.

"I'm playful." James defended his actions as Conal entered the boat.

"Irritatingly so." Alexander replied. "I'm sorry James. I'm sorry I second guessed that you could be capable of fathering a child but look at your history here."

"It's all crap." James said.

"Yes, it has been but that's changing. The assumptions that were made by those in that town are changing now that they know you didn't defile anyone. Mrs. Dickson has tried to mend her behavior as well. Let's not spoil it."

"Please James. I've apologized." I added. "Can we just go."

James stared at the three faces in the boat. Conal was getting bored and turned away, looking in the distance at where we were supposed to go. Alexander started to open the map and study it. I just looked into his face. I smiled, trying to make a mends.

"I'm sorry." I repeated.

James gave up and looked to where Conal was staring. The sun was starting to set and he knew what would happen tomorrow. Just in case things didn't work out the way he wanted them to, he didn't want their last moments together to be in conflict. He climbed into the boat and sat with Alexander. Now curious to know what he was looking at, James peered over to see her worlds spread across a piece of parchment, the edges looking burnt and old, the paper itself appearing as if it had seen better days.

"Why is it so worn out?" James asked.

"Because it's changed so often and will change again as things are added or taken away too soon before they are given a proper start." Alexander glanced at me and I pretended not to hear him. "You must go through here." Alexander told James.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" James asked, feeling conflicted at the route that was being pointed out.

"It's the quickest and it might do some good." He answered softly. "I'm sorry James. I know what's there."

"Okay." James was hesitant but Alexander was respected so James would not argue. "We'll go that way."

Alexander looked to the skies, troubled at what he saw. James followed his gaze and noticed another darkness creeping in much quicker than the nothing. They slumped their shoulders knowing that crossing the lake would not happen tonight. The wind began to pick up speed and thunder rolled in the distance. I watched the sky, getting the feeling I wasn't going back to the hospital.

"Back to town." Alexander announced, crawling out of the boat.

"But where will we stay?" I asked.

"Well, I think I'll try to smooth things over with Gerald and Eleanor. Any strife in these pages gets me nervous. I don't want anything adding to that." Alexander pointed to the black hole on the horizon.

"That doesn't have anything to do with Mr. Fennig." I said.

"Not directly, no. But since that abyss has appeared, people have been cranky. I will see you soon Shannon. Tomorrow your journey begins."

"You didn't answer me. Where will we stay?"

"There's an ale house on the other end of town. They rent rooms for the night. They also have wonderful food." Alexander answered walking away. "Behave yourselves." He warned.

I stared at Alexander's back then turned to James who still sat in the boat. His coat started flapping in the wind and he squinted his eyes to the breeze. Conal sneezed and shook his furry head as raindrops started to hit his ears.

"Great." I mumbled.

"An ale house. You wrote about an ale house in a young adult novel?"

"It was fitting." I argued.

"Fitting? Alright. That's where we'll go."

"Wait...you're coming?"

"Well I can't very well stay out here can I?"

In answer the rain started coming down. He chuckled and turned his face up to feel the refreshing drops. I smiled watching him. He seemed so carefree at the moment. It was that freedom that I wanted back when I was speaking with Alexander on the other side of the lake. Turning my face up as James did, I closed my eyes to the feel of the drops. I breathed in the light earthy air that came with rain and at that moment, I was reminded what it meant to find the happiness in such simple things. My heart danced a little and when I opened my eyes I found James staring intently. He felt it. It lasted only an instant but it was there. My happiness was still there.

"What?" I asked brushing damp hair out of my face.

"Nothing." He answered quickly.

"Come on, what were you looking at?" I pressed.

James smiled and extended his hand to me. He was shy all of a sudden as I took it.

"I've missed you Shannon Donnelly." He replied starting to walk. "We've missed you."

The rain was no longer small drops but a stream from the sky. Feeling cold he pulled me towards the town.

"Enough of this. There are matters of the heart we need to discuss."

James pulled me back towards the town, Alexander already out of sight having walked quickly as he wasn't the type to spend his time in a downpour.

The ale house was easily located with the scents of food playing with the moisture of the air. The sensation of hunger was foreign to me, not being in the physical world, but the food did smell good and it would add to the experience if they were willing to feed us for free. I thought it would be highly doubtful and wished, instead, for the generosity of a nice warm room. James pulled the door open and people turned our way to see who disturbed their chatter. Seeing it was only a very wet James, they turned back to their meals without a welcome. I didn't know if I should be worried about James' reputation or just forget about it, leaving it as his problem. In truth, I was starting to get irritated. James was a hot head and an irritation but he had shown me more consideration and acceptance than anyone ever had. He had opened his own heart to me in order for me to mend mine. It hadn't been that long but I knew James was a good man and had been given the short end of the stick. I guess no one really knew what he had done for me but they deserved to know. It changed Mrs. Dickson's mind. It should change the others. James' temper around these people only showed how hurt he was that he wasn't accepted and his acting out was only a way to be sure those that lived in these pages knew he was here. It was a hard thing to be ignored. I should know, Grant had been ignoring me for a while and now I knew why. At least I wasn't given to temper tantrums. I simply walked in front of moving vehicles.

I let go of James' hand and walked toward the bar. A woman was wiping down the wood and only glanced up at me. Seeing that I was with James, she paid me no attention.

"Hi. I was wondering if you had a room to spare for the night?" I asked.

"No rooms. Sorry my girl. We're full up." She answered continuing to work.

"Is that so?" I confirmed.

"Yes miss."

I looked back at James who wanted to give up and go sleep in a barn or something. I wasn't going to give up so easily. We deserved a room.

"My name is Shannon Donnelly and Alexander told me that you would have a room available, maybe two, and a hot meal so we could rest for the night. If that's not possible, I'd gladly try somewhere else." I told her.

She raised her head and narrowed her eyes.

"You're Shannon Donnelly?" She asked.

"I am. My clothing should give me away at least. I don't exactly fit in do I?"

"You can also see through your shirt." She announced looking at my chest.

Looking down, you could see a little more than what I was comfortable with and I quickly crossed my arms over my chest.

"Okay Shannon Donnelly. I have one room but he's not allowed." She turned to get the key indicating James.

"He is allowed as he's showing me the way to the blackness that's swallowing this place. So if you don't have room for a man who's willing to risk his neck for all of you I will be finding other accommodations."

She stared at me then stared at James and Conal. She slumped her shoulders in defeat and handed me the key.

"Room twelve. I'll have your dinners brought up."

"Thank you." I answered with a hint of arrogance.

Keeping my arms crossed I took the key and left towards the stairs. James, impressed with my demands, followed me with Conal at our heels. We climbed towards the second floor and looked for the room that was assigned to us. It was in the middle of the hallway and the floor boards creaked in resistance to our steps.

"Old building." I commented.

"Again, why are you surprised? You wrote it."

"Can everyone just stop saying that? I wrote it but I've never been here."

"You have just not in the way you think."

I gave up and turned the old key in the lock. The door was stuck and it took a couple shoves to get it open. The room was what you would think of, above a pub, in an old building, in a land of make-believe. The room was small and stuffy. There was a feather bed in the corner, just big enough for two people, adorned with an old brass head and foot board. The floor was bare accept for a worn wool carpet and there was a small dresser with a bowl and pitcher to wash up with. An old wood stove sat against the wall with a pile of wood and the bathroom was so ancient that to flush the toilet, an individual had to pull on a chain from the roof. As interesting as the place was, I think I would have preferred a barn.

"Well this is..." James started saying, looking about.

"Something." I finished. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Check for mice in the bed?"

"Seriously?" He asked with a laugh.

"Seriously. Come on, please."

"Fine. It's an odd request though."

He walked over to the bed and turned down the covers. There was no mouse or rat but a spider that crawled away at the interruption of light.

"There. No mice." James announced.

"But spiders."

"One spider." He corrected. "And one small bed."

"Could I borrow your jacket?" I asked embarrassed, ignoring his comment. I was well aware of the size of the bed.

"My jacket? Why?" James started to take it off and handed it to me.

"As well as you know me I'm not comfortable with wearing a wet shirt in front of you." I answered taking it quickly and turning from him.

"Please Shannon. I..."

"Don't finish that sentence. Please don't finish it." I warned fitting the jacket on my torso and buttoning it up.

"I don't watch you naked." He confirmed.

"Can we not talk about this?"

"It would be a pleasure." He agreed.

A knock on the door saved us from further discussion and James turned to answer it. He pulled it open and was greeted with a tray of food and a pitcher of beer being balanced by a young boy. He entered and put the tray down on the dresser then stood with his hand open. Conal walked over to the hot meals and sniffed the scents but did not touch it.

"What's that for?" James asked looking at the hand.

"Money sir."

"Money? Well its intended is it?"

"Yes. My mum told me so sir." The boy answered.

James playfully scowled and magically pulled out a few coins from his pocket.

"Alright then. If your mum told you so, here. Don't spend it all at once."

The boy looked at the shining coins in his hand and snapped his fingers shut.

"Thank you sir." He smiled with joy.

"What's your name?" James asked.

"Simon sir."

"Well thank you Simon. Off with you now."

The boy took off and shut the door behind him. James went to the food and studied it. Satisfied he poured the beer.

"Shall we?" He asked.

*****

Conal took pleasure in getting the last bits of food. He savored the bones of the chickens, taking small bites and thoroughly chewing before finally swallowing. I smiled watching him. James was cleaning up after he had lit a fire in the old stove and, swallowing the last of the beer, rubbed his hands on an old towel. I lay on the bed watching him.

"So tell me about Eleanor Fennig. She's quite pretty. What happened between you two?" I asked.

James chuckled and shook his head undoing his vest, slipping it off and tossing it away.

"Why would you like to know?"

"Well, she apparently was very hurt with your rejection. You must have made her feel like it was forever for her to lie about the child like that."

James joined me on the bed and brought his hands to the back of his head staring at the roof.

"It was nothing serious. We just got carried away one evening; nothing more than a bit of heavy breathing."

I sat up and faced him, crossing my legs underneath me.

"So she doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Of course she means something to me. Everyone I share a moment or two with means something to me. Ellie and I could never be. You could say I'm taken. That doesn't negate the fact that loneliness settles in from time to time."

"You're taken by me?" I asked softly. "I spoke with Alexander. I know who you are."

"It's not who I am Shannon. It's who I could be. That part is up to you."

"Why did you never show in Grant?" I asked.

James sat up and leaned on the headboard. He didn't like this conversation but if I already knew than he had to be honest.

"There was a time when I almost did. It was before your dad's heart attack. Do you remember Shannon? You both started talking seriously about the future. Marriage, kids, home. They were dreams you shared."

"Why did you decide not to?"

"You questioned it." James answered unable to look me in the eye.

"I never questioned it." I argued.

"Yes, you did. You never show a book before its done but one evening, you did. Do you remember?"

I thought back to the winter night that I had got the courage to show Grant an idea I had been working on because he always complained that I never showed him one word. His reaction broke my heart. I never showed him anything again. My work was so personal but I even decided to hide that away from everyone after one reaction; his reaction.

"He just didn't like that idea." I continued to defend him anyway.

"But it got you thinking and you've never stopped Shannon. Those thoughts, they took you away from your writing and then your dad...there were too many uncertainties."

"What matters of the heart did you need to discuss?" I asked changing the subject.

James sat up even more and placed a hand on my knee.

"You are to wake up tomorrow." He said simply.

"Really? I'm okay? I'm waking up?"

I was delighted. I could see my family again. I could live normally. I could live. My delight turned to concern when James didn't share my happiness.

"What's wrong? I'll still fix this place. I promise I will."

"Yes Shannon, I know. There's something else and it's not easy to tell you."

"What's the matter?"

"Grant...he told your mother about what happened."

"What?" I asked. I didn't believe what he was telling me.

"He told your mother you saw him with another woman. Heather asked him not to return to the hospital until you've asked to see him."

"Holy shit." I replied. "Was she upset?"

"Quite."

"Dad?"

"He handled it better but asked not to be around when Grant comes by."

I was stunned and crawled off the bed to pace. James watched me, not sure what to say. He remembered the way Grant had looked, the devastation and the guilt.

"I actually feel bad for the guy." He admitted.

"Why?" I snapped.

"He's broken. He's a mess."

"He should be!" I replied.

"You don't mean that. You know you don't mean that. I'm not excusing what he did but the guy is devastated." James told me. "It won't be an easy conversation to have but, when you're better, there's air to clear. We both know that. You're unsure about your future with him. It's not over between you two. This is not new information. You're thinking he could change."

"I am not." I said. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I know it, Shannon Donnelly. Time and time again you think he will change and you still think that way, even being where you are. That is your battle. That is what you need to face. You also need to be honest with your dad."

"Excuse me?" I asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've never been honest with him about how scared you were when he was sick. You still can't be honest with him and tell him you're scared. You need to fess up and tell him how you feel instead of being on edge every time that phone rings." James stood and came to me.

"He's fine." I replied.

"You're not. He's your father and he had a bad heart attack and yet you're too scared to tell him how that frightened you. How you worry about him and he needs to tell you he's okay. Really tell you."

"I don't want him to get upset that I'm still scared." I answered, feeling panicked at the memory.

"He's your dad. He'll not be upset. He needs to say the words that will put your mind and heart at ease."

"He was so sick." I cried.

James smiled sadly. It was the first time she was admitting how much it had affected her; the close call of losing her dad.

"I know. Now you are and there are words that need saying before you can get better. All better. Not just from Malcolm but from Grant as well."

I wiped tears away and nodded. James was right. For months I hadn't been honest with my feelings towards my dad or Grant and it was eating me inside. I was always on edge that my mother would tell me my dad was in the hospital again and I was always on edge wondering and waiting to hear from Grant. So much so, it was all I could think about and my writing suffered for it. The one thing that brought me relief and an escape was suffering badly. I almost didn't want to write anymore.

"I'm so tired." I admitted, running my hands through my hair.

James nodded in agreement. "I'll take the floor. Get some rest."

He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. My stomach jolted at the site of it and, without me knowing, James smiled to himself feeling it as well. He bent to take the plate away from Conal and gave him a pat good night. Turning away from him, I pulled back the thick and heavy blankets, making sure there was nothing there that would bite. I crawled in and saw James take a throw from the end of the bed and lay it on the floor.

"You are not seriously going to sleep on the floor." I said quietly.

"I am. There's nothing wrong with it."

"It's disgusting. I can't sleep knowing you're down there. Here." I pulled back the other side and offered it to him.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. It's fine." I turned my back to him and waited.

The mattress gave way as another body lay on it. In the dark of the room, with only a fire to make shadows on the wall, we lay together. My heart's desire was right beside me and all I wanted was to feel his arms but dare not ask. I fell asleep not realizing that my heart's desire only wanted to give me his arms and lay awake frustrated that he couldn't.

As the bell tower tolled three, James gave up and turned towards me. He brought me close, as he did in the ambulance, and held me in love and comfort so I could wake, knowing in some way, that I was everything he gave me in the dark of a room above an ale house.

*****

"Talk to me. How is she holding up?" Dr. Petersen asked.

"No problems." Kris answered tightening the oxygen tube around the nose.

"Yeah, I didn't think there would be anything to worry about." Dr. Petersen quickly looked at the heart monitor. It was strong and steady, even when she was breathing for herself. "Shannon, it's Dr. Petersen here. How are you feeling? Can you hear me?"

I heard his voice. I felt his hands. I felt a burning in my chest which made it hard to take deep breaths but the flow of air through my nostrils helped in a small way.

"Squeeze these fingers for me Shannon so I know you hear me." He ordered softly as he put his hand in my palm.

I tried to squeeze them but could only fold my fingers around them.

"That's great. I like that. Welcome back." He smiled at Kris who smiled back. A happy ending was always better than the opposite. "Can you open your eyes Shannon? Try for me okay. We turned the lights low."

My eyelids felt like dead weight. The left side could crack open more easily but I later figured out that the swelling of the right kept it closed.

"That's a girl. How are you feeling? Can you try to give me a word?"

My body hurt. I was stiff and uncomfortable. The more I was coming around, the more discomfort I felt and I peeked through the slit in my eye to try to find him.

"James?" I whispered.

"Who's James Shannon? I can try and find him for you but you'll have to tell me where he is."

"James?"

"Go talk to the Donnelly's. Try to find out if they know a James would you Kris." Dr. Petersen asked.

"Will do." She agreed.

"Kris is going to try and find him for you Shannon. We'll try."

I tried to shake my head in disagreement but found that to be intolerable. I closed my eye again and moved my hand to the edge of the mattress where the soft fur of a head could be felt. The relief was overwhelming and I smiled as much as I could knowing that I wasn't alone. I patted my fingers slightly on the bed and felt the fur move from the floor to the mattress. The spirit of Conal was not heavy in the sense that I could feel his weight but I could feel his presence and that was enough. I kept my hand on his body and would not move it unless I had to.

I'm here Shannon.

I heard James when Dr. Petersen's back was turned. Cracking my eye open again I saw a shimmer at the foot of my bed. It was only for a moment but knew that he was with me as well.

"It's hard." I whispered.

Dr. Petersen turned when he heard the words but he didn't understand what I had said so he just watched me.

I know Shannon. We'll see each other soon. This is just something that you need to do right now and then we will continue our journey. There are still things for you to discover.

Comforted by his words, I relaxed into the pillows and waited for the next step in the journey of my heart. Our conversation the previous night made things clearer and I felt more at peace with decisions and discussions that had to happen than I was before. I didn't care to stress about the outcomes of truths being told but they must be said out loud for healing to start with all those involved. Having the chance to visit my books, the places that gave me happiness, was an eye opener and I desperately wanted to hear their stories again. I wanted their words to be spoken out loud so perhaps, the people that lived in the pages of a book didn't feel like they were being forgotten. I needed them to know that they were still important to me, and so, I would ask for their stories to be read. This would give me a daily reminder of what I was to fight for and reclaim.

"Alright Shannon, I'm going to talk to your family. I'll send them to you in a few minutes. Can you stay awake for just a bit longer?"

"Yes." I answered slowly.

He patted my hand and left quickly, as he always did. The guy was a whirlwind and I wondered if he ever took the time to relax.

Dr. Petersen walked quickly down the hall to the room where the Donnelly's waited. They were speaking to Kris and looked confused. He assumed it was because they didn't know a James. Entering the space, he gave them a comforting smile which immediately eased the concern on their faces.

"She's good. She's breathing on her own very well, better than I expected. She's said a couple of words. She held my hand. She's all there as far as I can tell. I have a good feeling she'll be feeling much better by tonight."

"Can we see her?" Ashlynne asked.

"Of course. Just limit the amount of conversation. Her lungs hurt, I can tell. Now that she's awake, I'm going to give her a little more pain relief so she can start moving as much as she can try. I'm just really amazed at her progress. I'm blown away actually."

"How so?" Malcolm asked.

"Plain and simple Mr. Donnelly, your daughter should have died. Medically speaking, she should not be breathing on her own or even attempting speech. I'm a doctor but I also go to church every Sunday. She's got an army of angels with her."

"Oh, we know." Heather laughed nervously.

"On another note, Kris asked if you knew of a James?"

Kris nodded but shrugged.

"They don't know a James, Dr. Petersen."

"We've never heard of her speak of someone by that name." Ashlynne confirmed. "And she tells me everything."

"So it's not a friend or a friend of a friend?" He pressed.

"I can't think of anyone." Heather answered.

"Well, if you do think of someone, get him here. She asked for him. I'll see you in an hour. Feel free to see Shannon."

"Thanks Dr. Petersen." Malcolm said. "We're grateful to you."

Dr. Petersen waved goodbye and Kris followed him out the door.

"I want to know who this James is and where I can find him." Malcolm announced. "I heard that name on the day there was a dog on her bed and now I know it's someone she knows."

"Maybe there's something in her apartment?" Heather offered.

"Could it be a new book?" Ashlynne offered as well.

"Good idea. We'll stop by her place tonight and pick up her computer among other things she'll need." Malcom suggested to Heather.

"Absolutely. Let's say hi and then we'll go. Ashlynne, do you mind staying a little longer until we get back?"

"No mom. Not at all."

"Thank you. Let's see her." Heather went for the door and led the three of them down the hall.

The room's curtains were opened to let in some summer sun. The room felt lighter, less depressing. Kris smiled at them as they entered and took her leave so they could have some privacy.

"Conal." James called and the wolf jumped off the bed and walked towards James who stayed in the corner of the room.

As soon as they saw me they raced to my bedside. Heather tried to keep the happy tears at bay but Ashlynne didn't bother.

"How are you sweetheart?" Heather asked gently kissing my head. "We've missed you."

"Hi Shannon. Welcome back." Ashlynne took my hand.

"There's my girl." Malcolm took a turn and kissed my head as well.

The feelings of guilt and embarrassment took over and my chin wobbled. Malcolm saw it and scolded me with his eyes.

"There will be none of that Shannon." He said. "You're okay."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Sshh. Hush Shannon. We know. It's okay." Heather soothed. "Your father's right. This won't help. You're okay and you'll make it. Let's get through the next few days and then we can talk about it okay?"

"Okay." I agreed.

"Do you need anything? Some water?" Ashlynne asked.

"Yes."

When she said it I realized how thirsty I was. She squeezed my hand and left to get something to sip.

"Shannon honey?" Heather asked. "Who's James?"

James, hearing his name, came towards the bed. He was curious at what I would say. I took a burning breath and swallowed. Ashlynne put a straw to my lips and the sensation of cool water hitting my mouth was heaven sent. She took the straw away and sat. All eyes were on me, wondering who this person was that I spoke of when I first woke up.

"A guide." I whispered, exhaustion sitting in.

"A guide?" Malcolm asked.

"An angel. He lives in my books."

"Your books?" Heather asked.

"Read them."

I was fading into sleep but James kept waiting to see if there would be more.

"James...my heart...love him."

The family stared at each other, more confused at my last words. James was not. His voice was choked with emotion and he smiled, rubbing his lips with a finger overwhelmed at the possibilities that what I had just said could bring. He didn't get his hopes up but passed her parents and stroked my cheek.

"I love you too Shannon. Sleep well."

Heather and Malcolm gave each other confused looks. Ashlynne just stared at me, willing me to wake and tell them more.

"Love him? Who is this guy? Was Shannon seeing someone else?" Malcolm asked.

"I doubt it. Her reaction to Grant's actions tells us that." Heather answered.

"Why don't you guys go to her apartment? Maybe there's something there that will tell us who James is." Ashlynne offered. "I'll stay here. She's sleeping anyway."

Malcolm winked at Ashlynne in thanks.

"Okay. What do you think mother? Shall we go investigate?"

"Sure. We won't be long Ashlynne. Call us if anything happens okay."

"I will." Ashlynne agreed.

"Come on then." Malcolm turned to walk out of the room.

James didn't want to go but thought it might be a good idea to leave some heavy hinting at Shannon's place. He whistled and got Conal's attention, who was still sitting in the corner, on guard for anything to happen.

"Conal, watch over her will you. I'm going with them."

Conal stood and walked over, jumping up on the bed and curling himself up on Shannon's feet.

"Thanks. I owe you."

Conal only moaned and licked his lips in reply. James knew Conal really didn't mind. Conal had waited just as long as he had for recognition from Shannon and now that he had it, he didn't want to leave her side. It used to be James that Conal stuck by but that was now changed forever.

James followed Heather out the door and placed a guiding hand on her back.

"Malcolm?" Feeling it, she called to her husband and he slowed his pace. "Do you ever get the feeling that there's someone around...something around that we can't see?"

"What are you talking about?" Malcolm asked pressing the elevator button.

"Well, the dog day. You remember feeling a dog don't you?"

"I do. It was odd. I don't like to remember it."

"But, that's just it. There's been odd things happening ever since this accident. Shannon even told me, the other day, she had this weird experience at her apartment."

"What did Shannon tell you?"

"That she'd been hearing voices. She had some strange things happen with her computer. Her books fell from the shelves they were on by themselves. Do you think someone's trying to communicate with her?" They entered the elevator and felt it drop as it carried its passengers down to the lobby.

The elevator opened on the main floor and Malcolm got out.

"I hope so." He finally answered. "I hope their guiding her in the right direction because, right now, we can't."

"What do you mean?" Heather answered.

"I want my daughters to be happy. Shannon hasn't been for a long time. That's partly my fault."

"Malcolm..."

"She worries about me Heather. Now, with this whole Grant thing..."

Malcolm came to the car and unlocked the doors. They studied each other over the hood of the car before Malcolm continued.

"I want her to find her happiness again. I want this to be a new beginning and I think if we found this James guy, it might be."

James listened intently, pleased at what he was hearing.

"I'm around Mr. Donnelly and I'll make sure to let you know that, one way or another." He said making himself comfortable in the back seat.

*****

Malcolm felt uneasy, being in his daughter's home without her. He felt worse about what he wanted to do in here. Heather followed him in and James stood in the hallway until it was okay to pass into the premises. The space felt empty without the one person around that gave it life. Heather went to the bedroom and into the closet where there was a small suitcase. She opened it and left it on the unmade bed. The plants around the room seemed wilted and, abandoning the packing, went for the small watering can in the kitchen to give the plants some much needed moisture. Malcolm opened the curtains to let some light in. He gathered the mail that was left around and studied it. As soon as Shannon was more coherent, he would make sure the banking was done so Shannon didn't fall behind on anything.

"Is there anything in that pile?" Heather asked filling the plastic watering can.

"No." Malcolm answered. "Nothing about a James."

"I'm packing some things in the bedroom in a minute. Take a look around."

"In the bedroom?" Malcolm asked. "Not on your life. I don't want to accidently see anything that I shouldn't."

"Of for heaven's sake Malcolm. There's nothing in there." Heather argued.

"As far as we know. You do the bedroom. I'll head into the office."

"Grab the computer would you? I want her to start writing when she can. Maybe it will take her mind off things."

"Heather, she won't be able to write for a while yet."

"No, but she will when she can. I know she will."

"Alright." Malcolm wandered over to the office.

James waited for him there. He didn't do anything spooky like he had with Shannon. Shannon was better at connecting with fantasy. He was able to pull that off and have her take it seriously. Malcolm was more practical. James needed to be less haunting and more direct. He found the books that Shannon had wrote and placed a finger on the edge of the first. Watching Malcolm, he pulled on it lightly, sliding it out of its spot. Malcolm didn't notice so James did the same with another as he leaned against a wall. This wasn't what James enjoyed. He wasn't a ghost. This was not his idea of fun.

"Nothing in here Heather. Just notepads, pens, old emails. Nothing from a James." Malcolm called out searching the top of the desk.

Heather came in to water the plants in the office and James, still leaning against the wall, watched while pulling another book out of its hiding spot.

"Well, that's the plants. I'll finish collecting things from the bedroom and we'll be off."

James rolled his eyes and did what he needed to do. He pushed one of the novels to the floor. It tumbled out and spread itself open so the words looked up to the ceiling. Heather jumped at the noise and Malcolm only stared at the wall.

"Finally." James said. "Why does it always have to come to hauntings for people to pay attention?" He told the couple as they decided to stand in their place. He did it again, another book falling to the floor, remaining closed.

"What the hell is going on?" Malcolm asked.

"I...I don't know." Heather's eyes went wide and she turned on her husband. "Shannon said she wanted her books read. I can't believe I almost forgot."

"So they fall out of the shelf? I want to know what's going on!" Malcolm demanded. "Who's here?" He asked to the air.

"Malcolm, would you stop. Like anyone's going to answer." Heather sighed and went to the books to pick them up.

"How do you explain that then?" Malcolm asked.

It's James

"Did you hear that?" Heather asked, hearing the whisper that was the same in the hospital.

"Hear what?"

"That whisper? Did you hear it?"

"For the love of...Heather!"

"I heard it. It said James, Malcolm."

"So James is a ghost is he?"

"I don't know what he is." Heather said defeated. "But he's obviously here to help Shannon and I'm not going to get in his way."

Heather went into the bedroom to finish packing and Malcolm continued to stare at the shelf with the missing books. He slumped his shoulders and took a seat in Shannon's chair. Malcolm didn't want to believe in such things. When his father died, he remembered that he was still around somehow. Scents entered the room Malcolm was in, lights flickered. He felt his father with him at times like he could reach out and touch him. He missed his dad terribly and felt like he was taken away too soon. He was Malcolm's age when he died and after his heart attack, Malcolm couldn't forget that harsh fact.

James watched Malcolm's face change but had no idea what was causing it. He folded his arms across his chest and waited. This man who was the strength of the family was showing a different side and even though James was for Shannon, he continued to be there for her father.

"James, is it you?" Malcolm asked softly. "Or is it dad? Dad?"

James now understood what was happening and didn't know how to offer any comfort.

James

Malcolm heard it and was a little disappointed that it wasn't his own father. He smiled sadly as James walked over to him.

Alexander...

Malcolm looked around the room to try to find where this voice was coming from. He couldn't but continued to strain to listen.

"Alexander?"

Alexander written for your father...

"Heather?" Malcolm stood and walked to the bedroom where his wife was closing the suitcase.

"Yes Malcolm?"

"Where's the book about Alexander?" He asked coming beside her where the pile of books lay on the mattress.

"It must be in there. I took all of them." She answered as he sifted through them.

"Here it is." Malcolm picked it up and flipped the book open to read the dedication.

There was the usual thanks to mom, dad and Ashlynne but on the bottom of the page was a dedication he completely forgot about.

Dedicated to the grandfather I

cannot see but will always know

through Alexander.

"What's wrong Malcolm?" Heather asked, noticing her husband's sudden emotion.

"Nothing. Everything's fine." Malcolm tried to smile through his glistening eyes. "Do you mind if I take this one for now?"

"No, what's the matter honey?"

"Everything's good. I just got a message from James I can't ignore. I'll take out the trash." Malcolm squeezed her shoulder and left the room keeping the book close to his chest.

Heather watched him go then stared around her feeling like she wasn't alone.

"I'm not used to this." She said out loud. "Please, can you tell me who you are?"

A guide. I'm only here to help Shannon. There's no need to fear us...

"Who's us?"

The wolf, myself. Shannon will tell you in time...

As quickly as the voice came to her, it was gone and it was now that she felt quite alone. Heather was never one to indulge in the spiritual realm although there were many times that it peaked her curiosity. This was very new to her but she felt, in some way, that Shannon had never been alone through this whole thing and that was very reassuring. Heather was different than others and it was this difference that she passed on to her girls. They could sense things and feel things that others could not. It was very difficult to lie to any of the Donnelly women so now Heather thought it was the time to indulge in a little bit of fantasy. If only to help her daughter and her family recover from the last few months.

Heather put the suitcase on the floor and placed the small stack of books on the dresser. She made up the bed and fluffed the pillows so when Shannon did get home, she could easily just fall into bed. Hearing Malcolm return from taking the garbage out, she took one last look around then picked up the books and suitcase. Malcolm met her in the hallway and looked quite at peace.

"Ready?" She smiled at him.

"Yes. I think we've found what we're looking for. The question is, what do we tell Ashlynne?" He laughed.

"I think we'll just keep it to ourselves for now." Heather laughed as well. "It's not easy to admit spooky occurrences to those that get spooked way too easily."

"Ashlynne doesn't scare half as easily as Shannon does."

"Oh no? One word; Poltergeist. When did we get our bed back?"

"Right. I forgot about that one."

"Yep. Speaking of Ashlynne, let's get her something to eat okay."

"Sounds good."

James watched them go. Shannon was in good hands. Now there was someone else he wanted to look in on. It wasn't any of his business to spy but it would be nice to know how he was spending his time, now that his girlfriend was preoccupied with trying to live.

*****

Grant sat at his desk and stared out the large windows of his office. He had come to work because he couldn't sit at home anymore. This wasn't that much better. He was still preoccupied, his mind refusing to shut off. Heather had looked at him with such anger and hatred and that's exactly how Shannon would look at him if he ever got the chance to see her. He wondered when Shannon would call to see him. It wouldn't be right away. For all he knew, it would be months before Shannon even bothered. Grant didn't want to believe it was over. He couldn't believe it. He screwed up, that he wasn't about to deny, but he thought that they could work through this together. Shannon was a talker. She liked to talk things out but he never gave her a real chance to share how she was ever feeling; usually taking his turn to talk before she was even done.

Ever since the accident he had trouble trying to find ways that Shannon was at fault in how their relationship ended up. The saying it takes two to tango did not have any truth in their situation. He didn't know if it was because of his guilt and shame that he couldn't find things wrong with her or if it was because there was nothing to criticize. If there was anything to say, it was that she allowed herself to be a doormat by too many people and she seemed to enjoy being a pleaser. That really made him mad and frustrated but how many real friends did she have and how many did he? He was just as guilty as using her generosity and her doormat ways as was anyone else that took full advantage. Grant was so busy making a name for himself that he failed to make any real connections in his life except Shannon. He could always count on Shannon to be there. Now she wasn't and the ground had been pulled out from under him.

Grant had all this nervous energy, as if he was being watched. He assumed it to be his conscience. It was running at full capacity and he wanted to escape its constant criticizing, if only to get a decent night's sleep. Sleep was now foreign to him as the accident replayed in his mind over and over again. He was never one to pop a pill just to get relief but he was starting to seriously consider his options down the drug store aisle.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned. Picking up a file he studied it and when he was finally feeling in the mood to do a little work, he was interrupted by Donny calling at him from the phone.

"Donny, not now. I'm in the middle of something." Grant answered.

"Madelyn Trotter is here and she insists on seeing you. I've been trying to get rid of her for the last fifteen minutes but she's not budging. She's using he bathroom right now." Donny answered, sounding frustrated.

"Great. That's great." Grant returned his frustration.

"I'd call security but..."

"No no. Don't bother. Send her in."

Grant hung up the phone and waited for the storm of a woman that was about to enter his office. He had been ignoring her calls, which was difficult to do. She knew exactly what was going on as she watched the whole thing happen along with him. Madelyn Trotter was simply trying to comfort him in the only way she knew how. It was tempting to let his guard down but he hadn't. There was no reason now to see each other, the business end of it was complete. Grant's firm was only on call from time to time with legal questions from the company but that's as far as business dealings went these days with the Trotter's.

The soft knock on the door told him she had arrived. He didn't bother standing to greet her. It wasn't just Shannon that he felt guilt over. He had some guilt about the last discussion between Madelyn and himself. He was cruel to her kindness and she was, for once, trying to be sympathetic.

"Grant?" Madelyn walked in the room cautiously, waiting for any angry words to come from him.

"Hey Madelyn." He told her softly."

"How are you?"

"I've had better days." He answered. "Please, sit down."

She followed his direction and took a seat in the comfortable leather chair that faced his desk.

"Congratulations on making partner. My father told me yesterday. Word gets around fast."

"Yeah. I just found out yesterday morning. It's a bitter sweet moment."

"I can imagine. How's Shannon?" She asked.

"I'm not sure. I was asked not to see her until she asks for me. Her mother...Heather was pretty upset when I told her the truth about what happened so..."

"Oh no." Madelyn consoled.

"I guess they were going to wake her today. That's all I know."

"You can't call the hospital and find out?"

"I tried. They're not releasing any information to the public. I'm only part of the public now."

Grant pushed himself away from the desk and stood at the windows. Madelyn gingerly got to her feet and slowly edged toward him. When she was close she rubbed his shoulder in comfort. He smiled sadly and accepted it, craving the touch.

"I don't know what to say to you about this Grant. What can I say to make this better?"

He shrugged and shook his head.

"Nothing. There's nothing you can do or say. I just need to get back into my job, my life. I need to find the normalcy in these hours right now to keep me going. I need to fill my brain with things that will take my mind off Shannon. It's impossible to do."

Madelyn watched him closely. She wished that she could be the one that could take his mind off that woman. Grant wouldn't have come to her if Shannon had been more attentive to what a man like Grant needed. She was and she wanted to continue to be that to him.

"What is the status of you and Shannon now that her mother knows what really happened? Didn't you tell me, the night before she was hit, that you felt it was over?"

"It doesn't mean I want it to be over Madelyn. We had a fight."

"Lots of couples fight but they don't come to dinner or back to your place thinking that the relationship is done. You did. You must have known it was over."

"It's not over." Grant shot back. "Not until I get the chance to explain to Shannon what she needs to hear."

"And when will that be?" Madelyn demanded. "For almost a month you've been telling me that you've wanted me. Now you want her? Just because she was hit by a truck?"

"She was hit by a truck because she caught me sneaking around with you." Grant said. "Shannon is lying in that hospital because I wasn't honest enough to end it and you know what? I don't want to end it. I love her."

Madelyn laughed and rolled her eyes.

"You don't love her and you haven't for a long time. You were just too scared to tell her that."

"Stop." Grant warned.

"You didn't push her in front of traffic. She got herself hit by a truck. She just couldn't handle you getting on with your life sooner than she could end it with you."

"I wasn't getting on with my life. I was lonely...I am lonely."

"And who was there to fill those lonely times? I was Grant. You even said yourself, as you were screwing me, how I was the one that was there for you lately. How you weren't ignored anymore, how you couldn't get enough of me and how you felt wanted. Now I have to compete with a woman in a coma? Until you can break up with her officially? Seriously?"

"Who says I'm breaking up with her?!" Grant demanded.

"You did!" Madelyn laughed exasperated. "You did Grant. Is this some sick conquest now? You have to have her to ease your own pain?"

"I'm in a lot of pain. All of it that you can't understand or even try to."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't really want me; that you don't enjoy us. Tell me that Grant."

Grant glared at her and walked across the room to escape. He couldn't tell her that. Madelyn just standing there, in her pencil skirt and low cut blouse, had him needing her skin against his again.

"You can't can you." She told him. "You can't because you want me. You want us."

"I want Shannon." He corrected.

"You want a win. You want to be found not guilty so you can continue with your life as per usual. Here I am Grant. We can continue."

"I can't do this with you." He said, trying to convince himself of that fact but failing miserably. "I need to get some work done."

"So I'm excused?" Madelyn asked.

"Pretty much."

She wouldn't budge. Instead, she slowly sauntered over to him, confidence oozing from every inch of her. She put her arms around his waist as he tried to remove them.

"Please Madelyn." He whispered.

"What do you need Grant. Tell me."

"Nothing."

"You're stubborn like a three year old." She chided pressing herself closer.

"I need..." He started.

"Tell me." She urged.

"I need to feel something other than this despair and guilt. I need to feel anything but this." He tried to hold back the tears that were fighting to be released. "I feel like I killed someone with my bare hands."

"No Grant. You didn't. It's too bad that it ended the way it did but if you hesitate to make choices, this world will make decisions for you. Like getting us to meet."

Madelyn rubbed her palms up and down his back slowly. He tried to look away but she followed his eyes with hers. She moved her hips against his, trying to take his mind off this torture he was enduring. Grant studied her face and found her sultry gaze irresistible.

"You're terrible." He chuckled.

"No, I'm good. Come on. Let me make you feel something a little bit better. Let me help you forget, for now, what you can't change. Let's get out of here."

She reached to take his mouth with hers. Her kiss was deep, her tongue wet and he caved but this time, it was giving him something he needed desperately. She was pulling Shannon's memory out of him and replacing it with a deeper demand but it wasn't love. It was a necessity to conquer her, to fill her with him, and to prove to himself and Shannon that he was still a man with needs that required to be satisfied by a woman who was willing to give them to him, without question and without anything in return. Madelyn's little moans, as he began to touch her, made it that much more urgent to him that he make this woman, or any woman, his. This was what he needed. This is what took his pain away. It was seductive power and he met his match when he met Madelyn Trotter.

A loud smash made the large windows shake with a rippling effect across the wall that they were attached to. In the center of the wall of windows, there formed a circle of shattered glass with cracks webbing out in all directions. The sound of it was so loud that Madelyn jumped out of his arms, clutching at her blouse in fear. Donny came running in and was stunned when he saw Grant's windows. Grant looked at it in shock, not expecting anything to smash a window twelve stories above the ground.

"What was that?" Madelyn asked shakily.

"Jesus Grant, your window, it's starting to come apart!" Donny exclaimed.

Grant swiftly marched to it and looked on the ground. There, on the carpet, was his crystal pen holder. Pens were scattered everywhere as were papers and folders that had flown off his desk. He picked the heavy object up and examined the mess that he missed as he was very preoccupied sucking up the woman in his arms.

"Call security. I don't know what just happened. I didn't see anything but this needs to be fixed or someone's going to get hurt on the street." Grant told Donny, turning the pen holder in his hand and examining it carefully.

It was a substantial object, one that couldn't fly off a table by itself. Grant surveyed the room as the phantom that was James stalked off in a hateful rage. If James could kill him he would but a stupid piece of rock would have to do for now.

*****

I was moved into a private room three days later. Every time I went to sleep I longed for the chance to go back into my books; to do more exploring, but I was never able to. It was frustrating that the work I was supposed to do was halted and it wasn't my doing. James seemed to have forgotten me. I felt ignored and abandoned and I didn't understand why he wasn't around. I had feelings of anger but didn't know where they were coming from. I was grateful for the chance at a second life and I promised myself that this time I would live differently. I'm sure every individual that was lucky enough to be given a second chance promised themselves that but for me, it was different. I saw how the way I was living was affecting those that I couldn't see, including the one that lived where I was most distraught. I still mourned and was still shocked, in a way, at Grant's betrayal but it was easier to take with the support around me, including James. It's just James had decided to disappear.

Conal was with me. He wouldn't leave my side. I got used to the feeling of him on the bed or sitting on the floor. He often paced the room I was in and wandered the halls as if the hospital was his domain. The healthier I got the more of him I could see and I was purposely concentrating on perceiving him. He wasn't in plain view but a shadow of gray in animal form. The stronger I got the more I felt of him. Something wasn't right. It should be the other way around. The stronger I got the less I should need him, or so I thought. I was wrong. The fact that Conal was here and James was not, weighed heavily on my mind. For some reason, James was keeping his distance and Conal was in constant search of his friend as he wandered the halls of the hospital.

Noticing how well my health was progressing, Ashlynne reluctantly started working again at my father's insistence. Life could not be put on hold forever. It was time to move forward from devastation and learn to live a daily life again. My mother came in the afternoons and read to me. I never interrupted but pictured what she read since I had seen some of it. I stared out the windows and willed it to life but it never came and I was starting to panic because there was a danger there that needed to be dealt with and I couldn't deal with it unless James brought me back.

"Shannon?"

I blinked my eyes to wake myself out of my thoughts, hearing my mother's voice.

"Sorry?" I answered.

"I've been saying your name for the last couple of minutes. Where are you?" Heather put down the book and poured a glass of water for herself.

"Nowhere." I lied.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Never better."

"Would you like to go outside today? Maybe get a little fresh air?"

"No."

"Shannon, you have to start moving around. At least being pushed in a wheelchair to sit outside is better than this." She gestured to the room we were in.

"Maybe tomorrow." I said quietly, having no desire to leave the room on the off chance James showed up.

Heather nodded and sat at the foot of the bed. She brought up her feet to sit cross-legged and leaned forward onto her knees. She felt it was time to bring up topics that were purposely being left unsaid. Grant would be another day but Heather wanted to know what I would tell her about James.

"So..." She started.

"Oh no." I replied.

"What?"

"I don't like conversations with you that start that way." I admitted.

"Come on Shannon, I'm not about to give you shit for anything."

"Please don't. Maybe in another week but not now."

Heather patted my leg and gave me a reassuring look.

"I want to know who James is."

"James?" I asked.

"Yeah. You asked for him when you woke up. Who is he?"

"Why do you want to know?" I stalled, only because he was mine and I didn't want to appear crazy that I spoke of him.

"I think he's was trying to communicate, on your behalf, with your father and myself. Your father also knows of a wolf?"

"Conal." I confirmed. "What did James tell you?"

"I couldn't understand it all. He was mostly a whisper but he was this voice of warning. Do you remember when you told me about that night at your place? About the books falling, the computer being on and typing by itself?"

"Yes."

"Well, books fell off the shelf when we were there, collecting your things. He said there's no need to fear him. That he was helping you."

I sighed and turned my head away for a moment. I couldn't lie about him. He wasn't a dirty little secret that no one could ever find out about and if he was trying to make contact with my parents then he wanted them to know he was around. The movement of Conal had me squinting in his direction. He only plopped down in the doorway to lie on the floor, obviously missing his friend.

"He brought me to the worlds of my books while I was asleep. He's a guide and he says he lives in my heart. He says that the world's I've created are in trouble because I've been preoccupied with things and people...that I shouldn't be." I cleared my throat, not wanting to continue but needing to at the same time. "Like Grant. Like hanging on to the fear of what happened to dad." I tried to smile but found a frown making its way across my face instead.

"Oh Shannon." Heather shook her head sympathetically. "I'm so sorry."

"Anyway..." I shook it off as best I could and continued. "Obviously I have some stuff to work out. I thought if I could read my books again it would light some inspiration in me. All I can think of is why James hasn't been back since the day I woke up."

"He hasn't?" Heather asked.

"No. I don't know where he is. Maybe I did something to keep him away." I shrugged.

"I highly doubt that." She insisted. "He must be in the background somewhere. Maybe he's waiting for you to get a little stronger."

"That's not it. When I dream of him I'm my normal self. I don't feel pain; physically anyway. And when we're together, he makes me forget about everything that was taking over before I was hit. I wish he was real. I really wish he was real. I feel like if he was, I could have a happy ending like you and dad's."

"Shannon..." Heather replied. "Your father and I are not always on the same page. We work at our life together and that's why we're here today."

"So I should work on my life with Grant?" I asked, secretly hoping she would agree.

"You don't want my opinion on that until next week." She smiled. "I also think that's not what you really want. It's a man like James that you want. Obviously, by the way you speak of him."

"I can't have James. He's not real."

"To you he is, in some way, and he's shown himself to you for a reason. If you do see him again please tell him that I am so grateful that he took care of you. I'm not really good with things like this. I don't even know what to think of near death experiences but I do know that something was around you at all times and caring for you on a different level than we ever could. It's probably why you're here today."

"He does take care of me." I agreed. "Well he did. I miss him."

Heather decided to take a swing at a different topic. If I became uncomfortable then she would quit but right now she just had to know. She couldn't leave it all for next week.

"And Grant?"

"Mother..." I moaned.

"As your mother, Shannon, I need to prepare myself for what you're deciding to do. Is it over between you two? Was it?"

"I'm not going to lie. I go back and forth. I don't know. I don't know why he's still this huge question mark when he really shouldn't be. He's always in the background. He's like this stupid cloud hanging over me. Even though he was the one that cheated on me, I feel guilty."

"You?" Heather laughed.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because maybe if I gave him more attention he wouldn't have slept with someone else. I was so preoccupied with this writer's block and dad, even though he was fine. I probably could have been better to him."

"Stop that right now. You lived for him Shannon Donnelly and it wasn't being returned so you stop with those horrible thoughts this very minute." Heather scolded.

"I heard him in the hospital room. He said he made partner. He said we could have the life we talked about a long time ago."

"And is that the kind of life you want? To be waiting on the sidelines for the rest of your life? Or do you want an equal partnership where you don't have to guess who you are to him?"

"Obviously equal." I replied.

"Okay. Now, could you have that with Grant? Ever?"

The feeling in my gut was making me sick. It was a truth that I had felt for a very long time and yet, still could not come around to admit. Maybe that's what James was waiting for. Maybe he was waiting for me to make a decision about Grant.

"No." I answered quietly. "I don't think I could ever have that with Grant. I did have it, in the beginning but it's been replaced."

"By what?" Heather asked.

"A sensuous blond just as addicted to winning as he is, or so I assume that's what she's like. I never really met her. I'm just making that up after seeing her."

"Intuition has always been our strong point and I'm sure you're correct." Heather said. "Sadly so."

*****

"I haven't seen Shannon lately. I thought the deal was for her to come and help." Alexander said out loud walking towards James.

Alexander had been searching and asking around for a couple of days now. Usually James was easily located but he could also play a game of hide and seek like no other. If James didn't want to be found it was nearly impossible for him to be located. Conal was missing as well and Alexander hoped that the wolf was with Shannon because James clearly was not.

James saw Alexander walking through the wooded area and smiled sarcastically shaking his head. He had been found. That was the last thing he wanted.

"How did you find me Alexander?"

"Well, it wasn't easy. You haven't created any havoc for a while which wasn't helpful. It just so happens I remembered an area you called home." Alexander glanced around. "You've done a fine job James. I don't think I've ever been here before."

"You haven't. That's the point. It's my space and I'd like to keep it that way so..."

"I need a rest." Alexander took a seat on the old wood porch ignoring James' strong hint to leave.

He wasn't surprised by the sight of the home James created for himself. This place was an exact replica of a certain summer home the Donnelly's frequented. Although the place wasn't used much by the girls anymore, the memories of the place were still very much ingrained in their hearts; especially Shannon's. The structure was a two level log cabin that was built in the fifties and constructed so finely that it was thought, by all those that visited, that it would stand the test of time. So far they were right and Alexander often wondered if it would ever appear in her tales. It seemed that it had in a small way but not in the manner Alexander thought it should. There was talk of an old run down cabin from a story in a passing scene so no one cared to live there. All except one. James had taken it upon himself to work the home until it was new again. No one liked to walk these parts as it was much too close to what was never given a fair chance at life. James needed to be close to those that died to early and only Alexander knew why.

Alexander waited until he was sure James would relent and let him be. Something was up and he assumed it was Shannon but he didn't know in what sense. So he waited. He waited until James started talking first. It was too bad the lake wasn't anywhere near here. Instead this home was sheltered in the thick forests of could have been. Other's feared this place because they didn't want to know the truth of it. Alexander knew what could happen to it if given the breath of life once more.

"I can't do this anymore Alexander. I thought I could but you were right. There's too much feeling there and there's too much hurt." James joined him, sitting on the porch and clasped his hands between his legs as he dangled them off the side of the wood planks.

"It's been done James. Now it has to be finished. There is no turning back."

"That's really too bad because I am."

"Your home will be destroyed." Alexander argued.

"My home is already destroyed!" James snapped back. "I can't fight the war that's raging there so I will stay here and just be...free. It's an amazing feeling isn't it? Freedom?"

"What kind of freedom is this James? You sit in your lovely home, which still resides in the hearts of all the Donnelly's by the way, and mope about until that thing makes its way over here. I thought you loved her?"

"That is not fair." James replied glaring at him.

"It is fair. You've given up in such a short time. We were counting on you. I was counting on you because you said you could fix it. No one here is able to do what you can; no one James. It's you."

"Yeah, well, I thought it could be. I was wrong." James jumped off the porch and walked along a path, into the forest.

Alexander followed but kept his distance. Something must have happened that angered him immensely and until James was able to get it out, he would act the part of a scorned and stubborn fool to the detriment of all that lived here.

"Where's Conal?" Alexander asked.

James stopped and turned toward him with sadness in his eyes.

"I left him with Shannon. He's better there anyway. He's the one that's been working with her more so she needs him right now."

"You miss him." Alexander stated sadly.

"Yes. I miss him tremendously. He was a part of me which only adds to how I'm feeling right now."

"Tell me son. Tell me what's happened. I don't know how helpful I can be but at least I can hear this burden you carry."

James studied him carefully. It would feel good to get it off his chest and there was no one he trusted more than this man.

"Grant is still having the affair."

Alexander paused before answering.

"Oh my. This is terrible. Does Shannon know?"

"No."

"That's good. That's very good. She mustn't find out about that. It could go against us."

"Don't I have a duty to tell her about it? And if I did, would she be angry that I was spying on him; that I wasn't minding my own business?"

"Your duty is as her guide and protector."

"Conal is the protector."

"You, James, protect her heart."

"I haven't been doing my job if that's what it is then!" James exclaimed defeated. "She continues to think what if in regards to Grant. I don't know why she's doing that and I haven't been able to stop that."

"Because it's a process that everyone goes through. It's natural. She needs closure with him but is she strong enough for that and are you strong enough to tell her that he's not the one."

"I think she knows that already. Why she fights it, I'm not sure."

"Her confidence has been shattered by Grant's actions. That's all." Alexander answered.

He walked closer to James and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You are as much of this place as we are. She wrote from her heart and this heart has not been destroyed yet. In fact, since the first day you went to her, it has stopped, lingering only on the edge. It is a fine edge that is ready to tip. This is our home. This is your home. We are all one here. It doesn't matter if we are separated by different stories, the origin is still the same and that origin is you. James..." Alexander let go and patted the young man's cheek. "Please. I will help you as much as possible but I can only do that if she's here."

James paused and took a sharp breath glancing around.

"I love her and it's very difficult for me not to show her that. This deal I made is one I struggle with because I don't think I can keep my end of the bargain, Alexander."

"And Shannon?" Alexander inquired.

"Will have her heart broken when she knows she cannot have me in the way she wants me."

"Ah, so she feels it now does she?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, I can certainly understand why you ran away."

James narrowed his eyes at Alexander's judgment.

"I most certainly did not run away."

"You did. You ran and hid; abandoned those you made a promise to and abandoned Shannon I'm sure. Tell me James, how does she feel right now? Does she think you've left her as well?"

"What's with you? You're comforting one minute and the next condemning."

"I did not condemn your actions. I'm begging you to stop thinking like...well YOU! You love her. Great! Be love to her then but being love does not mean hiding away and sulking because you're scared."

"I am not scared!"

"Yes you are. You're scared of getting hurt again and you know of whom I speak. You've given up your courage to a man who doesn't deserve it! Again! But that's what love is James. Love takes courage. Love takes heart. You used to know that and you've given them up to the memory of a man who uses these emotions as toys! As a game! As a result, this is happening with Shannon as well!"

"What am I to do Alexander?!" James cried out in frustration.

"Grow up for one."

James threw his hands up and stalked away.

"Grow up and love her back to her heart. Love her back to creation!" Alexander hollered after him.

Alexander watched James stomp off but in the distance he found the glow of a doorway to another world and he smiled. James was childish, yes, but he wasn't stupid. There was no way that Shannon could forget James for James was a large part of her; someone that couldn't be put off. It wasn't fair that James held on to such a disgusting truth by himself. Alexander didn't blame James for running but the time for running was done. It was now time to confront; something that James and Shannon always had trouble doing. There was a journey to be taken; one of the heart and Alexander only hoped that the path would not be riddled with emotional interruptions again.

*****

The only light that shone was the lamp above the bed. I couldn't sleep. Even with all the medication I was on, I could not find peace and so I sat in my bed and played solitaire on my computer. I couldn't bring myself to open the folder that contained my writing. I still didn't have any thoughts about books. I only thought of where James was and my previous conversation with my mother about Grant. Grant was the least of my worries at the moment. It had been too long that I had been gone from fictional lands that were so real to me and I was home sick, needing to go back.

Conal turned anxious as I continued my losing card game with the computer; as if something had grabbed his attention. It was difficult to see him in the dark but I heard him pacing, his feet heavy on the floor. His pacing was starting to concern me. I could feel his pent up nerves in the pit of my stomach as if something was about to come through the door and I needed to be on guard.

"What's the matter Conal?" I whispered.

The only way this will work is with words Shannon...

My ears heard the whisper but I didn't believe it at first. I strained to see if someone or something was around but all I could feel was Conal pacing, now faster, needing out of this prison and back into a world that he adopted as his own.

"James?" I asked.

Write Shannon...

It was a stern demand. Very different than when he was guiding me the first time.

"I can only see you if I write?" I asked confused.

There was no response but in my heart I knew the answer. It sat there in faith while I started feeling panic about this task that would unlock the door towards James.

"This isn't fair. What am I supposed to write? Please tell me." I whimpered.

Again there was no answer. Of course no one could tell me what to write. I had to write it myself and it had to come from a place that felt empty and alone. Staring at my computer screen, I closed the virtual card game I was playing. I opened a new word document and watched as the curser blinked back at me, patiently awaiting my direction.

I wasn't sure if it had to be something that could expand into a book or if it was only something that would make me feel. Either way, if this was the way to James, I needed to try. I began to type words. I decided the best course of action was to type what I remembered of my travels so far. It was a time that excited me and filled me with wonder. I thought that it was as good as anything. I wrote of the first time Conal showed himself. I wrote of the first time I laid eyes on the voice that spoke to me from beyond and as the words spilled out of my mind they emptied through my fingers and appeared on the page. The sensation of writing about my experience was something I couldn't put into words. It was different. It held a power all its own and the room around me began to spin but that's not what I was concentrating on. I was concentrating on the one person that was allowing me to open my heart, if only just the tiniest bit, to be able to begin again.

As the room swirled, so did the images around me. I was in a funnel of color that blended together as if someone was watching a children's spinning top; different colors on different locations of the toy and the faster they spun, the blurrier they got until they were all one color. Soon I was not the woman in the bed writing words, but separate and able to walk away from her calmly into another place. The further I stepped away from my physicality, the more focused the world around me became. I was elated at what I had accomplished. Conal was no longer a blur but very real and the relief and pleasure on his face was apparent as he ran for the nearest hill. I watched him go; crashing through trees and brush until he stopped in the distance and howled; the sound echoing in all directions and signaling to this world that he was back.

"See what happens when you open yourself up." James spoke from beside me and I jumped in surprise.

"James!" I through my arms around his neck and strangled him in an embrace.

"Hey." He said softly, standing strong.

I pulled away and gave him a swift punch in the shoulder.

"Ow! Jesus Shannon!" He snapped.

"Where the hell have you been?! Why would you just leave me there alone! You promised you would be there!"

"I promised one of us would be there at all times. You had Conal."

"Who was sick with worry for you." I answered. "Why would you stay away like that? Did I do something to offend you?"

"No Shannon. It was nothing like that. I just...I needed some time."

"Why?" I asked. "What's going on? You look upset."

"Nothing. Everything's fine. Are you ready to continue the journey?" James showed me the map that he seemed to have produced from out of nowhere and handed it to me. "We have some ground to cover before you need to go back."

"Okay but...are you sure you're okay James? I just feel there's something I need to know; for a couple of days now actually. Something's not right here." I admitted taking the rolled up paper from him.

James hesitated but did not break away from my gaze. I knew something was up and I wanted to know. He wasn't the same man that I had left. He was angry. He face was drawn and there was no sparkle in his eye as there was before. Something had affected him deep to his core and because we were connected I felt it too. Only, he knew what it was really about.

"Yes Shannon. There's something you need to know but I'm not sure I want to tell you."

"James, look at you. Something's obviously wrong. Before I can confront any darkness I need to know everything. What are you hiding from me?"

Conal came out of the bushes with his head lowered and teeth bared at James. He would never hurt him but Conal didn't like this secret that James was keeping. Gut instinct was just that and it left a person feeling very much on edge. James only glanced at Conal without care. He knew his friend was only feeling what I was feeling; therefor he would react in the manner that was suitable. James wasn't surprised at how anxious I was. Secrets cause just as much worry and pain as truth did.

"Grant." He stated simply.

I took a step back and crossed my arms defensively.

"What about Grant?" I asked hesitantly.

"I saw him the day they woke you up." James answered.

"You went and spied on him?"

"I didn't spy. I wanted to know what he was up to when he wasn't allowed to come to you."

"Why would you do that?" I demanded.

"Because I...I love you." James replied. "I need to protect you just as much as Conal does, only I need to protect what is so very vital right now."

My eyes went wide in surprise with his words but I didn't run into his arms. This wasn't the end of a romantic movie. This was a very guarded admission and because James was not himself I felt like I couldn't return his declaration.

"Tell me." I told him sternly. "Tell me what you know."

"He's still having the affair." James said the words without regret and without care. He laid them out so they could be heard and not be confused.

Conal snapped his teeth and lowered his head even more, the hair along his spine rising up in fury. I turned away from James and walked. I didn't know where I was going but I had to get away from him. He only let me go.

James turned to Conal and with the same stern look addressed him.

"Knock it off." James commanded.

Conal sat and twitched his ears, only following me by sound and not by sight.

"Let her be. We'll find her later." James turned and walked in the opposite direction.

Conal gave one more glance on the path I was headed but couldn't see me anymore. He picked himself up off the ground and trudged behind James. His tail was low to the ground as he was saddened with the separation. James noticed and stopped to pat him on the head.

"She needs time Conal. When I found out I needed time. I still do. This isn't easy for either of us and I don't know how to get her back. I'm just as lost as she is right now. What help am I to her if I am unable to feel anything but anger and sadness?"

The rumble around them had James straightening and watching his surroundings. The ground vibrated and the wind picked up. He watched in the distance as he had many times. All eyes were on the horizon at this time and what he saw he could not believe. The abyss that was her heart, the abyss that was lingering just on the edge of these worlds was now creeping inwards. The border had been crossed and it was coming for them.

"Find Alexander Conal! Go now!" James demanded.

The wolf took off quickly and James ran back to where I had been. This story had now been changed and the ending did not look good.

*****

"This can't be happening. It can't be true." I muttered through my tears as I stomped through trees that would, no doubt, take me to some other world. I didn't care. I needed to escape everything right now and to do that I only walked.

The opening of the brush was ahead and I could sense a drastic change in climate. Where there stood thick pine trees was now transitioning to tall palm trees and the moss on the ground was now sand and course grasses. The breeze toyed with tears on my cheek, turning them into dry paths of salt that matched the waters where I was now standing. I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus on where I could be. The sand wasn't as radiant as the sands of the French Polynesian but they were pretty white. The ocean seemed to go on forever ahead of where I stood. It was not calm water. It was rough and choppy and getting more angry as I stood watching it.

"It's moved." A man's voice told me from behind.

I spun around to see who was speaking. The man behind me was quite tall. He was well muscled from hard labor and his skin was creamy brown. He wore tan cotton shorts that came just below the knee with brown leather sandals on bare feet. His chest was visible through a white linen shirt that was left loose in a deep 'v' that came to where his heart would be. He was bald with a small amount of black facial hair that was kept trimmed. His eyes were a dark brown, almost black, but kind and soothing. Even when he watched the horizon there was a calm acceptance about what was happening as if he didn't believe it would ever go away.

"I used to fight the inevitable of that thing but now I only accept that endings must be. It looks as though my ending is near, along with my people."

"Carlos?" I asked.

"Shannon Donnelly. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Carlos. I followed you for quite some time. You're upset. I see it on you and I see it in the sky. It has moved."

"I don't care anymore. I just...I don't know what to do."

"Why do anything?"

"Because!" I answered exasperated. "The last thing I want is for this to disappear." I cried, gesturing to my surroundings. "But I don't know how to stop it when what's causing it won't leave me."

"Come; let's not worry for a while. Let us share a meal and speak only of pleasant things. You must see my home before it's gone. You've created, for me, such a beautiful home. I would be honored if you would be a guest at my table."

His voice was silky chocolate with a pleasant Latin accent. His invitation was one I couldn't resist and I nodded in agreement.

"Good." He smiled. "Let's not make matters worse by concentrating on things that cannot be changed. Instead, let us talk only of now."

"Thank you." I told him.

We walked down the beach towards a lighted village. It was only a mile away, give or take, and the walk was pleasant with easy conversation. As we got closer I saw that the lights were actually torches that were lit in various places. People's homes were lit up with lamps of flame that flickered and left dancing shadows on the walls. Carlos' home was on the beach. It was a tiny place that was made of wood. Shutters, in the place of glass windows, were painted yellow and the house itself was painted white. There was a stone path that led to the front porch where torches had been lit to create a romantic atmosphere only a house on the beach could provide. Lush vegetation surrounded the small dwelling towards the back, and could barely be seen in the setting sun.

"This looks fantastic." I commented as we walked towards his porch.

"I love my home. Thank you, Shannon, for my humble dwelling. I couldn't ask for more."

"It's what you've made of it that's so wonderful Carlos."

"Well, I did add my own touch. Please, sit." He pulled out a chair that was tucked into a small table. "I'll be right back."

I sat and he patted my shoulder as he disappeared into his house. Tossing the rolled map onto another chair, I stared out at the ocean ignoring the view that was to my left. I couldn't face it right now nor did I ever want to. As much as the worry over my father was involved, it was obvious what was really causing it. The moment James told me the truth of Grant I was shattered again. That's when it moved towards this place in search of me. Ignoring the warnings, I held on to the slight chance that he really didn't mean it but obviously Grant had chosen to move on. What motivated him to do it I could only guess at. Instead of dealing with it head on I ran. Now I knew where James had been. He had done the same thing.

"Here we are. Some refreshment while the meat finishes." Carlos set a wine carafe on the table accompanied with fruits and cured meats. "Please Shannon. Enjoy." He sat and smiled quite proud of himself.

"It looks wonderful." I said, excited by the smells starting to waft in my direction.

"So, Shannon Donnelly. What troubles you?"

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk of such things." I answered.

"I lied." He winked. "Maybe I can help."

"I just got some bad news concerning someone I love but don't know why I still harbor such feelings for him. James..."

"James!" Carlos exclaimed. "He's made you cry. I will hang him!"

"No, Carlos. It's not like that at all."

"What is it then? I hear rumors that he is your guide. That he has brought you here to fix things and yet I find you crying on the beach and the nothing has begun to move."

"That has nothing to do with James." I defended. "It has to do with another. Another who has hurt me deeply and I'm not sure how to move on from that. James is very important to me."

"He has not helped you. He's only made it worse. This is what I conclude after finding you." Carlos stood and went into his home again.

I sighed exasperated at James' reputation here. It was none of my business but I couldn't tolerate anyone's arrogance towards him anymore. Carlos came back with a platter of fish and seafood. Plates were set and glasses refilled. Carlos sat heavily in his chair looking sad.

"I'm sorry Shannon Donnelly. I'm sorry for my words. James and I don't get along."

"What has he done?" I asked.

"Nothing." Carlos admitted.

"So why the anger."

"We fight. We compete."

"Over what?"

"Pride. Attention. Manly things." He smirked uneasily.

I nodded in understanding.

"Alexander's relationship with James hurts a lot of you doesn't it?"

"Alexander? It has nothing to do with Alexander. Eleanor Fennig, she's my dream and yet..."

"You're joking? Eleanor Fennig?" I asked.

"Yes, my affections for her run deep but were never returned. She only spoke of James and then she has his child."

"Carlos..."

"Don't." He shook his head sadly. "There is nothing you can say that can heal the sorrow in my heart of losing such a beautiful woman to that...joke of man."

I rubbed my hands over my face and shook my head, groaning. This was never-ending. Apparently rumors spread, not just through one book but through all. Taking a serving fork, I glanced over the choices of food before me.

"James did not father a child with Eleanor Fennig. Her childhood friend, Graham, did. She slept with him after James told her he wasn't interested." I piled meat on my plate because I couldn't wait anymore.

Carlos sat forward with surprise. He rubbed his whiskers while his face filled with hope.

"So Eleanor is seeing this Graham?" He asked.

"I don't think so. He was quite upset when we left. I'm not sure what their relationship is anymore. Eleanor has created somewhat of a mess for herself."

"Do you think...Shannon, do you think I could be given a chance with her? Gerald, he's very protective of his daughters but maybe if I brought them here, to show them the beauty of these lands, he would allow me the chance to be with her."

"Carlos, it's Eleanor Fennig." I laughed. "Can you trust her after knowing what kind of crap she can pull?"

"She wouldn't pull anything if her love was true."

"What does the rest of your people feel about James?" I asked.

Carlos filled his plate with food, jaw set in concentration.

"I do not wish to offend you with rumor." He finally answered.

"Oh, I think I've heard just about everything." I replied.

"I was only told things. I haven't seen them. Some say he alleviated himself in a well. Some say he steals fish from the fishermen when their backs are turned, tying their boats. There is an all-girl's school not far from here, just down the road. Apparently while the young women were bathing, rats were let loose into the room. It was chaos. Some did not even have time to dress!"

I nearly spit out the food that I was chewing. I choked and pounded lightly on my chest. My eyes watered trying to control a cough. When I was able to control myself I took a sip of wine before speaking.

"That cannot be true." I argued. "Not in the way you say..."

"I don't care what others say. That is not my business. My business is for the woman that I love but she has chosen another; that being James."

His words were ringing with truth in my ears. I knew exactly how he felt.

"How do you cope Carlos? Even though what you thought about James is false, how do you feel when you're living such a lie?"

He paused and reflected about what I had asked. Yes, now it was false but when he lived thinking it truth, there was still a light at the end of that tunnel that soothed his hurt.

"I have faith. I have hope. There is always a new beginning; a new chapter to unfold. It can only be better than the last."

"And has hope and faith ever been lost with you?" I asked.

"Sometimes. It's only natural but the blessings that surround you in the midst of turmoil can only be there to pull you through. Do you understand what I tell you Shannon?"

I eyed him skeptically and put down my cutlery.

"What do you know of my situation Carlos?"

"Your heart is broken no?"

"Yes."

"You mustn't concentrate on the darkness. You must see the light that surrounds you to penetrate that darkness and allow you to heal. There are those that love you and support you. That is the light. The dark is heavy but there is help. You must realize that and allow them entrance even though they dwell in the dark with you." Carlos looked away from me and watched as a man walked along the beach towards the porch were we sat.

My heart leapt into my throat when I followed Carlos' eyes. James was still visibly upset but he smiled with relief when he found me. He waited by the steps to the porch until he was granted permission to enter our premises.

"James, welcome. We were just talking about you." Carlos said as he stood.

"Why?" James narrowed his eye at his assumed enemy.

"Please James. Let's not argue or compete. She is yours." Carlos gestured to me. "I must prepare myself to see mine."

He left us and closed the door to his home to offer us privacy. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was ashamed of running and what I had now made worse. James simply leaned against the rail and watched as the nothing took on a life of its own. It wasn't just nothing. It was nothing with an appetite and it was hunting season in the heart of Shannon Donnelly.

*****

Alexander looked up from the book he was reading. He finally settled into his chair, after a day and night of travel, and he was tired. He came home because he was homesick. The fact that the darkness stayed made him sure that it wouldn't move while Shannon was here but he felt anxious. He felt uneasy, as if he was a psychic and could sense that something big was coming.

One by one, the flames of the lamps went out and all was dark. He didn't understand how that could happen because even in the breeziest conditions, his lamps shielded the candles very well. Now, the candles were dark, barely visible black smoke rising from the wick to play on the glass surface of the lamps. Lightening snapped in the sky as if being whipped by an unseen tyrant but there was no thunder and there was no rain. It was calm and still and yet, there was a feeling that gave Alexander reason to get up and leave his home at once.

He quickly moved to the front door of his house and grabbed his satchel and walking stick. A desperate clawing at the door scared him and he didn't want to open it in case it was something he couldn't fight off. The clawing would not stop and then he heard the recognizable moan of a wolf; a wolf that could be understood without being able to speak. Alexander whipped the door open and saw Conal there, his fur was on end and his ears were perked and twitching. His head watched all around but would constantly look back at Alexander. His urgent whining and pacing was telling him that he was being led away.

"Am I glad to see you." Alexander declared. "What's happened Conal? Where's Shannon?"

Conal ran a few steps, stopped, and waited for Alexander to follow. He didn't hesitate. Alexander closed the door and walked swiftly to the wolf. They walked a short distance then Conal decided to look back. He snarled and snapped, lowering his head as if to tempt a fight with what was behind him. Alexander drew his eyebrows together in confusion and turned to see what Conal was looking at. His mouth slowly fell open and his eyes went wide. His breath exhaled slowly in despair and surprise. He didn't realize why he hadn't seen it sooner. The large abyss was almost at his doorstep. Flashes of white lightening lit up the skies that it was close to consuming, as if to try to keep it away. It wasn't at his home just yet but he knew that in a matter of hours, Alexander's home among the hills would be lost forever.

"No..." He whispered. Alexander looked down at Conal. "What's he done? What's he told her?" He demanded from a wolf that couldn't answer. Conal simply stared at him. "Did he tell her about Grant?"

Conal howled and Alexander covered his ears to the pitch and intensity of it. As Conal voiced his answer, the feeling that resided in the wolf entered the mind and heart of Alexander making him want to crawl up in a ball and die. She was so hurt. So was James. The combination of their feelings must have been enough to start this black ball rolling.

It could be stopped. This would not be the end of any of them.

"The graves, Conal. I'll meet you at the graves. Tell James that's where I'll be."

Conal objected nuzzling Alexander's hand and turning in the direction that James was in.

"No Conal. I'm old and tired. It'll be faster this way. I'm okay. I'm out of the house."

Conal snarled in disagreement and with one last look, took off through the hills towards a safer place where the two people he cared about most in this world would be.

Alexander watched him go and started in a different direction. He stumbled and nearly fell, stopping himself by leaning on his stick more than usual. He sat and composed himself while staring at the end. He had been feeling weak for days now. He felt old and worn out but refused to let anyone else know, not even the son he adopted as his own. James had no idea and wouldn't. If he could just make it to the graves and tell their stories, he thought he could be more useful than just being a shoulder for everyone to lean on. He didn't mind. He was the first and apparently that made him a leader. His leadership skills were dwindling the closer the darkness got to engulfing his lands. Now it was here and now he couldn't be support for anyone else. It was time to save himself and to think of only that. James had a responsibility to Shannon. Alexander simply wanted to spark what was already inside her. The graves were the only place he could think to do so here. The heart was another matter and one he could just not simply deal with.

With a groan, Alexander stood again. He didn't bother looking back at his home. In his mind, it was gone. He got choked up at the idea of not having his little dwelling anymore; the stone house nestled among the green hills. The only thing left to do was pray that he could be saved. Houses could always be rebuilt. Towns, villages and cities always had second chances to be made new again. People, well that was a different story; one that he wasn't quite ready to read yet.

*****

We walked together towards the border of trees that separated the worlds from each other. James appeared tired. The fight that was in him was beginning to dim after what he witnessed in Grant's office. He felt completely devoid of feeling only because of the shock and reality of what was really going on with the man that remained his roommate in the house of emotion. He wished he could evict him immediately but that was the landlord's job; one that she was close to making but couldn't demand the key back just yet.

"I'm sorry I ran." I apologized.

James turned his attention back to me and managed a small smile.

"We all have our moments. I'm sorry I left you hanging." He answered.

"I don't blame you for needing to escape. It's exactly how I'm feeling but can't. I've caused so much trouble here."

"You don't carry all the blame. I haven't been that helpful. I've actually added to it by not being supportive of you."

"Au contraire James. You're the one that has helped me the most; you and my mother. She says thank you for being with me when she couldn't." I stopped and faced him. "I told her who you were. I needed to tell her because..." I couldn't finish, embarrassed with the cliché of what I told my mother.

"What? Why did you need to tell her about me?" He pressed gently.

I ran my hands through my hair and smirked.

"Because I feel like, if you were real, you are my happy ending." I chuckled uneasily. "Stupid huh?"

He shook his head slowly.

"No, not stupid. Pretty real actually. There are just some barriers in getting there Shannon."

"I know." I answered. "Where are we going?"

James took the map and glanced around for a place to unfold it. Not being able to find anything he instead knelt on the ground a couple feet away and unrolled the old parchment. He took stones to keep it from rolling itself back up and studied it. I joined him but didn't know what I was looking at.

"Care to show me the books?" I asked.

"Yeah, this is the beginning. This is Alexander's place." He pointed to drawings on the map that depicted hills and rivers. I followed his finger as he pointed to others.

"We're here. It's a bit of a walk to Alexander's and I don't think we'll have enough daylight to make the trip today."

"I seem to be travelling in opposite times of the day when I'm here. When I left the hospital it was the middle of the night."

"Time is not important in a world such as this Shannon. You could be here for days and only be gone from reality for a mere hour. It's important that you travel at night where you are, seeing as how you know the way now." James looked towards me as he knelt.

"But if I start writing during the day, won't I come here?" I asked, unsure of what he was telling me.

"When I'm around and you here my voice, that is when you can travel. Just call me St. Peter." He winked.

"I almost did." I smiled remembering the haze when I was first injured. "Okay, so where to next?"

"We need to travel here. This is important for you to see, at least that's what Alexander thinks."

"But the nothing is here." I pointed back to the beginning. "That's a little off."

"It doesn't matter but we have to get moving because, obviously, that thing has started hunting you."

I sat back resigned. What a thing to here. I was being hunted. My heart was being hunted and my stress was giving away where I was hiding.

"What's there that I need to see?"

"A place where great and inspirational ideas need to be resurrected from their graves."

"You're taking me to a graveyard?!" I demanded. "Seriously? I'm supposed to be finding happiness. I can't find that at a graveyard."

"You never know." He replied.

I shook my head and looked down at the map again. The wind picked up a little and tried to take the paper with it. I gently laid a hand in the middle of it to stop it from blowing away. Immediately I felt a charge; a soft pulsing like a heartbeat. Its feeling travelled up my arm, into my mind and straight into my chest. It came alive in the center, matching its pulse with my own heart. This feeling was one that I hadn't had in a very long time. It was scary, yet wanted. I was thirsty for the chance to drink it up instead of bored with only a taste that I had been given for so long. I didn't want just a taste. I wanted the whole thing. It excited me and I pressed my hand even closer to this living feeling that was a second chance. The paper of the map that my hand pressed against was warm and it began to create an aura of green around it. In the process of healing me, just that little bit, it was also healing these lands that it displayed, giving them an extra jolt of love to let them know they were not forgotten.

James covered my hand with his. The connection between this place and myself was evident in what he was feeling, but there was an additional sense of someone that made these worlds and my heart his home. James was the connection. He was the link.

"What do you feel Shannon?" He whispered.

I stared into his face and bit my lip nervously. He withdrew his hand and waited. Even without him touching me I knew what I felt. There was no doubt what I was experiencing.

"You." I answered simply. "I'm feeling you."

James only stared back. She felt him and there was a spark that was lit deep inside of him. As it caught fire, he felt his chest burn and come alive. Instead of caving in on itself, everything within that was her was trying escape in a radiating light that wanted to be shared with anything he touched.

"This is so new to me." I whispered. "Why now? Why here?"

"It doesn't have to be only here. I'm where he is. The one you will love for your life."

"But...why can't it be you?"

"It will be me." James reached out to stroke my cheek. "Once you make the decision to find me."

"You're right in front of me James. I have found you." I spoke softly, not wanting the intimacy of the moment to escape the force that encircled us here, in the dense border of forest.

"It's a puzzle isn't it?" He answered. "Once you understand, it will feel even better."

I removed my hand but the feeling lingered with me. I appreciated it as I needed something to give me strength for what had to be done. Not just with Grant but with this place.

"Where do you live?" I asked.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you can't just be walking around all the time. Where are you in all of this?" I motioned to the lines and images on the map.

"I live where you write from Shannon. I thought we've been over this."

"Come on. You're physical here. You must have a bed to sleep in."

James looked down at the map that had returned to a simple piece of parchment. He sighed as he tried to figure out where he would be on here. James finally circled an area with his finger. I looked closer and saw that it was in the middle of everything. It was separate from all the homes, towns, or villages but still at the heart of all.

"Can I see it one day?" I asked.

"Maybe." He replied. "But right now we need to go in the opposite direction."

James stood and rolled up the map. He felt concern that Conal and Alexander hadn't shown up yet. At least he was with Shannon. At least he found her. Now he just had to get the other part of her back and they could continue this journey and beat the fear and loneliness that was still so present in Shannon's being.

"I'll follow." I told him brushing myself off.

"Don't follow me. Walk with me." James extended his hand and I gladly took it.

"Feeling a little better?" I inquired, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"That depends on you." He winked.

I rolled my eyes and laughed softly.

"Aren't you your own person?"

"Fair enough. I do feel a little better." He admitted kissing my hand.

As his lips brushed against my skin the image of the map flashed into my mind. Some say inspiration happens in a flash. This was more than a flash. This was a current that nearly knocked me over. My face went white and my mouth hung open. I had never had inspiration like this. Usually it just floated along, giving me ideas here and there, just enough so I could write a pretty decent novel. This was more than just an idea for a decent novel. This was the whole thing.

"Shannon?" James squeezed my fingers in concern. "What's the matter?"

"Can I see the map one more time?" I asked letting go of him and stealing it before he could answer.

"Be my guest." He replied. "It's not polite to grab." He teased.

"Yeah yeah." I put him off and unrolled it.

I held it up and smiled in excitement as a story was being presented before me and I was the only one that could see it. My eyes darted this way and that, moving from side to side and corner to corner.

"This is perfect." I whispered in excitement.

"What? What's perfect?" James looked over my shoulder but couldn't see what I was seeing. He couldn't read my mind he could only feel a relief and joyous anticipation but didn't know why it was there so quickly after heartache.

I rolled up the piece of paper while grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"You. You're perfect." I pushed the map into his chest.

"Well I always thought..." His words were stopped by my mouth and he was surprised by the feeling of my arms around his neck. Soon surprise turned into passion and he dropped the map and brought me closer to his body. I withdrew but still kept close.

"Thank you."

"Sshh. We're not quite done yet." He tried to kiss me again but I pushed away giggling.

"I have to go."

"You have to go? We need to get to the graves." He argued.

"Open the door James. I have an idea for a book and it started in the heart. It lives there."

"But..."

The green glow swirled quickly and I turned towards it almost in a run.

"What do you mean it lives in the heart?!" James called.

"You're the connection James. You're the link. I'll be back soon. I promise."

The doorway swallowed me up and James was left alone, reveling in the kiss but disappointed that it didn't go any further. A man had needs and James was still a man even if he was on the other side of real life. Something crashing through the trees brought him back and he spun around to meet whatever was coming towards him so quickly. His relief was palpable when he saw Conal. Relief soon turned to concern when Conal wouldn't join his side but paced back and forth in the direction from which he came.

The wolf's growls and barks were alerting James to the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

"Conal? Where's Alexander?"

Conal barked sharply and started running away. James stomach sank. Alexander was in trouble. He ran at top speed to catch up with the courage that was in so much fear itself.

*****

"What's going on?" Ashlynne found her parents peeking into the hospital room. They dared not enter.

"We're not sure." Malcolm answered uneasily never looking to greet his oldest daughter.

Ashlynne waited behind them giving her guest an apologetic look that they were being so obviously ignored. Finally, getting annoyed, Ashlynne cleared her throat loudly.

"Have you ever seen her so intense?" Heather asked her husband not hearing the irritated noise from Ashlynne.

"Never. I mean, I've seen her working but she's always pausing here and there. She hasn't stopped typing for the last twenty minutes."

"Guys?" Ashlynne interrupted.

"Well good for her. Something's inspired her." Heather answered Malcolm.

"Mom?"

"The color's come back to her face as well." Malcolm commented.

"Dad?"

"I should go Ashlynne. This is a family thing..." Tyrone said quietly.

"Guys!" Ashlynne ignored him and snapped at her parents. They finally looked at her confused.

"There's no need to shout dear. We're right here." Heather scolded and eyed the new face before her. "Who's this?"

"This is Tyrone. He's the man I've been seeing for the last while and I wanted him to meet you and visit with Shannon. Now that she's feeling a little better I didn't think she would mind the company." Ashlynne answered.

"Oh, hi Tyrone. It's nice to meet you." Heather extended a hand pleasantly.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Donnelly. Mr. Donnelly." Tyrone dropped Heather's hand and took Malcolm's.

"Tyrone, it's nice to put a face to the name." Malcolm said in a fatherly tone. "I guess I should thank you for being with Ashlynne at this time. Our energies weren't exactly split equally, unfortunately."

"I understand. I couldn't imagine what you guys have been going through but, from what Ashlynne's telling me, Shannon's well on her way to a full recovery." Tyrone peaked into the room and saw her typing away. "Maybe already is...does she usually sweat while she's writing?"

Malcolm and Heather looked back into the room. Tyrone was right. Shannon was starting to perspire.

"Alright. That's enough." Malcolm announced walking into the room. "Shannon, what are you doing? This isn't a race."

"What?" I glanced up for only a moment, and seeing who it was, went back to work. "Hey dad." I murmured.

"Hey dad? What about the rest of us?" Heather replied coming to the bed.

She took a small cloth from the bedside table and wiped my forehead. I shrank away, not wanting to be disturbed.

"Shannon, you remember Tyrone?" Ashlynne asked. "We decided to come for a visit and wanted to know if you craved anything special for lunch."

"Um...no I'm okay." I answered, quickly giving her a smile. "Hey Tyrone. It's nice to see you again."

"Hey Shannon. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Never better."

"So lunch?" Ashlynne asked again.

"I just had breakfast." I laid back and took a break from the computer screen.

"Shannon honey, it's 12:30. Breakfast was at 7:30. How long have you been working? And are you really ready for working?" Malcolm asked.

"I'm good dad. I finally got an idea. Isn't that great!" I exclaimed.

"It's great all right but Shannon, you are still recovering. Take it easy." Heather replied. "Please."

I looked around at all the concerned faces. Of course they would be concerned. They didn't know that I was trying to save something that was so unreal to them. Sometimes it was just as unreal to me too. I nodded my head in agreement and saved my work before shutting down.

"Okay, you win."

"So what do you want for lunch?" Ashlynne asked coming to sit with me. "Hey, your head looks a lot better. They don't need so many bandages."

"It feels better. Still stings a bit though." I admitted. "Whatever you want for lunch is fine by me."

"What about that place downtown? The one you always go to, even the waiter knows you."

I remembered my last time there; the waiting and the guessing and now the realization about why Grant was probably late that night. This chapter of my life really needed to be closed and the baby step was to tiptoe into a future that wasn't surrounded by the memory of a man but the possibility of another and that meant not shying away from a restaurant just because I ate there with someone I'd rather forget. With a tilt of my chin I looked into Ashlynne's face and smiled.

"Can you get me the mussels?" I asked.

The family let go of the breath they were holding. I had not wanted to venture out of this hospital, even if it was just to get some sun outside the doors, and now I was accepting something outside of it. It wasn't the biggest accomplishment but it was something. Baby steps were acceptable and my parents would take what they could get.

"And while we wait for food, dad, could you take me out to get some fresh air?"

"Well, that's the best thing I've heard in days Shannon. I would be honored." He answered. "I'll get a wheelchair."

"And I'll lock this up." Heather said taking the computer and walking to the cabinet.

"Let's go." Ashlynne got up and grinned at Tyrone.

I watched their interaction with interest. Now that I knew I had someone that I couldn't see here, living in my heart, I wondered if everyone did. I couldn't be the only one that had it. Everyone needed to have that recognition of a deep love with someone; that click or spark that would tell you he or she was the one. It was a certainty as soon as lovers' eyes met because a soul was reflecting in their eyes; a soul that had been with them for lifetimes. As I stared at Ashlynne and Tyrone I realized the easiness they had with each other. They did know each other and not just as a new relationship. They had known each other forever. It was the same connection that I saw with my parents and I found myself getting choked up seeing it. It wasn't sadness that I was feeling but happiness and a thrill for them that they had found each other. The more I watched the more my eyes began to play tricks on me, or so I thought. I blinked a few times to make sure that what was starting to appear before me was real. There, connecting Ashlynne and Tyrone together, was a faint and delicate pink thread. It connected at their hearts and from that thread, an aura of softness in the color of love encircled them. Even when Tyrone was the first to the door, the glow stretched, keeping Ashlynne in its field; keeping them connected by what they were feeling and recognizing in their hearts.

"Mom?" I asked watching them leave.

"Yes?"

"What do you think of Tyrone?"

"Well, I just met him, but he seems nice." She answered.

"I think he's it." I admitted.

"Really Shannon Donnelly, you just met him as well."

"It doesn't matter. Remember this moment mom because right now, I'm predicting, you'll be attending a wedding very soon."

"Oh boy." She chuckled shaking her head. "Do me a favor; don't tell your father this. His first baby getting married...I don't know how he'll handle that."

"And you? How will you handle it?"

"With a lot of Kleenex." She answered. "A lot of Kleenex."

*****

James could barely keep up and when he stopped to take a breath Conal would hurry to his side but would not linger. He only tried to encourage James to follow him.

"Jesus Conal, I'm not a wolf. I can only move so fast."

The wolf didn't care. He was gone again and James was left to watch him go while his heart was tripping over itself to calm down. They were almost to Alexander's home, which was causing even more of an effort, as it was a hilly place. James prided himself on staying in shape but this was a ridiculous marathon. It was just one more hill to climb and then he'd be able to get a better view of what was going on. The closer James ran to that thing, the more exhausted he was feeling. It had such a draining effect that he couldn't quite wrap his head around why. It was on the move, feasting as it crawled, and James' connection appeared to be just as strong as those in these pages. Of course it would be. It was eating away at him as well.

James regretted going to spy on Grant. It was the one thing that started this black ball rolling and it was his fault. If he had never gone, if he had minded his business and only stayed with Shannon, this whole situation could have been avoided; but no. He was James; James the trouble maker. Well, he was in a lot of trouble now. They all were and he hoped against hope that this idea that shot through Shannon was enough to help turn it around. She was so happy when she left, akin to a new mother about to have a child; nervous anticipation yet joy beyond measure. He knew how she felt because he had felt it too and it had been a long time since he lived in an environment like that.

She kissed him.

That was the happiest thing of all. It wasn't even him that did it and it really should have been, knowing what he was like. But it was all her. She gave herself to him and didn't even second guess it. But what would happen when all of this was over and she could no longer come here. James didn't want those continuous thoughts in his mind but they lingered there. They were the elephant in the room; the big question both Shannon and himself were ignoring. What would happen when the stories were still alive but faded into the background and there was real life to live instead of this. What would happen to him? After having her in his arms? Being outside looking in would no longer do. He desperately wanted to be a tangible reality, not only for her but for him as well. So he asked for it. Every time he closed his eyes he asked for the man, that was her love, to come forward so it would be him and so she would look at him with those green eyes and know that James was there.

The next hill was quite steep and he held on to branches and small trees to make it to the top. Collecting himself, he looked down into the valley where Alexander's house was.

"Holy shit." James whispered.

Panic ensued as the vision before him was one that he never thought possible. The nothing was right there. It was on Alexander's back doorstep just waiting to consume the story that was face to face with it. It wasn't just a cloud or a shadow. It was a wall of black. It poured down from the heavens where James' couldn't even see the beginning and it stretched itself to the sides so James didn't see the hills to the left or right of him. It was black, blacker than any night sky, blacker than any piece of coal, raven, or pupil of an eye. It was a black hole. It was nothing. It was the end and there was no new beginning. It was terrifying and James needed to get out of here. He couldn't breathe. There was an invisible noose around his neck that was slowly cutting off his air supply. This wall of darkness was killing him and he was petrified.

The more James stared at it, because he couldn't turn away, the more weakened he felt. He dropped to his knees and took big breaths of air to try and calm himself down. Little by little his pulse began to slow. James never realized that Conal was back and close to him, finally rubbing his furry body against his shoulder. James took hold of the wolf and held it close to him. The animal shivered but was not weakened. He was courage and even though Conal was scared, he was also the brave that James needed to emulate right now. James turned to face the darkness that was Shannon's daemons and glared at it.

"I will not let you take her! We will win! You'll not have her!!!!!!!!" He screamed in its direction and Conal also began to turn wild, spittle flying from his mouth as he confronted it as well. "She's stronger than you! We all are! You'll not take these lands from us!!!!"

The ground shook beneath James' feet. Rocks tumbled from hills and trees swayed, dangerously looking like they were to fall but they never did. This thing was just as pissed off as he was but the strength of the people here and the imagination that created these places seemed stronger at the moment. James narrowed his eyes in concentration. He studied Alexander's house. It should have been eating away at the dwelling by now. It was moving...or was it?

James moved a little down the hill to get a better look. He ignored the hollowness in his heart and the shortness of breath as he got closer to it. He needed to see what was going on. When he could no longer overlook the feeling of disappearing, he shielded his eyes to what sun there was and stared. The black hole had stalled. It wasn't moving. It had, after James had crushed Shannon earlier. It had moved quite quickly but now it was on the brink of eating Alexander's home and it had stalled. James laughed with relief. It wasn't moving. They had more time.

He needed to find Alexander.

Conal was still at the top of the hill, only guarding James from afar. James understood and came back to him, the symptoms of the nothing easing just a little bit.

"Where's Alexander, Conal? Is he safe?"

Conal let out a sharp bark in confirmation and ran in a different direction. James recognized it immediately and with a last look at the emptiness behind him he followed the wolf. Alexander was at the graves and the nothing stood at a menacing standstill as it was not able to penetrate the heart of this book yet and James would make sure that it never would.

Feeling renewed with this mission, James flew across the fields and hills following his friend. They travelled for about an hour when he heard a voice that he recognized but it sounded weak and frail. He stopped and listened for the direction it was in. Conal's ears twitched and turned. Soon, the wolf was headed slightly off course towards the call for help. James followed, knowing who it was and needing to find him urgently because something wasn't right.

"Alexander!" James shouted. "I hear you! Keep calling!"

"Over here! I'm over here!"

James went in the direction he heard it. This part of the woods was thicker and overgrown. There were no paths, just denser wood and James had a tough time trying to squeeze through it.

"Alexander..."

"I'm here. James, thank goodness."

Alexander was lying on the ground with his head propped up on an old log. James went to him immediately as Conal laid by Alexander's side.

"Alexander, what happened? What are you doing in here? Are you hurt?" James took off his jacket, bunching it up and putting it under Alexander's head.

"I feel so weak James."

"How did you get in here?"

"I'm not sure. I left my house after seeing the nothing and I was headed to the graves but got disoriented. I woke up here but couldn't stand anymore. I'm so weak James."

"Shit!" James rubbed his hands over his face.

He knew why this was happening. Death was literally at Alexander's doorstep and he was feeling it. The only reason why Alexander was still here was because the nothing was stalled in its travels. It didn't matter where Alexander was. He was still part of the story and for that reason it affected him whether he was in his home or away from it.

"What happened, James? I was dying. Why am I still here?" Alexander asked weakly.

James tried to smile through his fear.

"Shannon got an idea Alexander. She went back to write. She was so thrilled when she left. You should have seen her. It was a miracle considering she's had nothing for months."

"Shannon's writing?" Alexander asked bewildered. "Do you know of what?"

"She said it lived in her heart and that I was the connection. I don't know what that means but I'm not going to question it since it's keeping you here with me." James faltered in his speech and looked away. "What can I do? Where can we go?"

"You, my boy, are going to take Shannon to the graves. She needs to see it."

"And you?"

"There's nowhere I can go. I thought, if I wasn't around my home when it finally came, that I would be safe. It doesn't work that way. Once my lands are gone, I'm gone."

"I won't let that happen Alexander. I promise. Can you walk?"

"Walk where?"

James watched around him. He knew every place around these parts but the easiest place for them to get to was James' secret place, a place that people never ventured to because it wasn't given anything but a passing paragraph in a book. It was a part of Shannon that she clung to; a memory of happier times, so James made it his own. Since it was so personal to Shannon, James thought it would be the last place that would be sucked in and since it held such an important standing in Shannon's heart, it would be the safest.

"You can stay at the cabin. I'll help you and once I get you there I'll get Shannon to the graves."

"You've never aloud anyone to know where you live and now you're inviting me to stay there."

"You seem to forget, Alexander, that you barged in anyway. You've been there. It's not my secret anymore." James chided. "And you're always welcome in my home; our home. Shannon and mine's."

"You share a home now?" Alexander heaved himself up to a sitting position.

"We always have, in a way, I guess." James replied. "Just in separate realities."

Alexander studied the man who quickly quieted. He patted his knee in understanding.

"You will be with her one day James."

James laughed sadly.

"Maybe. If she can ever get closure on Grant."

"Do you think if she saw him now, it would be too much?" Alexander asked.

"I don't want to risk it, especially seeing you like this. Come on old man; let's get you out of here." He took his jacket back and tied it around his waist.

James placed Alexander's arm around his shoulders and heaved him up. The old guy was surprisingly light considering his was a burly old Scottish man. Evidently he was disappearing. It broke James' heart.

"Are you good?" James asked as Alexander steadied himself on his cane.

"I am now." He smiled weakly.

James started walking from where he came. He groaned as brush and twigs were relentless in their scratching and clawing.

"How the hell did you get yourself in here in the first place?"

"I can't remember." Alexander chuckled.

"Convenient." James answered looking for an easier path than the one they were on.

*****

He doubted anyone would be here. The windows to the place were black against the setting sun. The balcony window was closed. He was taking a chance coming here but he didn't care. It had been a grueling few days. He still lived with guilt and he still lived with hope although that was dimming by the minute now that he was heavily entrenched in a supposed relationship with Madelyn. There was no closure and no explanation. Shannon had just dropped off the face of his earth but he was still desperate to have some piece of her with him. It wasn't completely over if he still held on to some idea that he could just explain all of his behavior away. He was yet to be called to the hospital to do that and, so now, he was parked outside her condo building just getting the courage to walk in there; to experience her even if it was only to be surrounded with her things.

Grant got out of his car and simply stared up. Nope, the place seemed empty. He played with the keys in his pocket; hearing them clink together as he walked towards the door. Deciding to keep his head low, he refused to make eye contact with anyone that was coming or going, only quickly allowing himself into the lobby and pressing the button to ride up to her floor. The memory of the last time he was in this elevator made him smile. There was no one around and so Shannon took full advantage of that fact, having him disheveled before they even got to her front door.

"God I miss you." He whispered sadly as he turned the key in the door and pushed it open.

The condo was lit by the setting sun but that was the only light that was shed onto its walls. Someone had been by to clean and the plants looked as if they had been taken care of. Grant was stupid to think that Heather wouldn't be here, making sure everything was kept up so Shannon could come home to a neat and clean place. Shannon was always pretty neat. Her mother, on the other hand, had way too much time on her hands.

Grant browsed the kitchen and opened the fridge. He found the beer that she kept there for him and grabbing one, twisted off the cap and tossed it into the sink, as was his habit.

"There's a garbage Grant." Shannon would complain.

And he would eventually toss it out along with the bottle when he was done.

Grant wandered over to the living room and sat heavily on the sofa. He loved this sofa. He loved how unpretentious and casual it was. He wished he was more like this sofa. Appearances mattered to him so much but it was something deeper he craved. He hated how his life was always based on what others were seeing from the outside in. Grant had always lived that way. Shannon never had. She didn't care because she was alive on the inside. The only thing that seemed to awaken him was a sense of power. If he was in control than everything was good but if he was not, he got scared. So on a bad day, when nothing was going his way, he would come to this couch and take a load off. Shannon would always be there with an ear and a beer, even if he hadn't given her the time of day in a week. He assumed he had power over her and that's why she could never tell him no but her easy going and patient behavior grew boring where Madelyn's similar nature to his, excited him. Now, he was exhausted trying to keep up with Madelyn's power and self-confidence and craved Shannon's blind trust. He was a weaker man than what he claimed to be but only he knew that. The face he put on was way braver these days.

Grant placed the beer on the coffee table and walked over to Shannon's office. He walked over to where her books were but some were missing. He assumed Heather had taken them but there were a couple still there. He slid one off the shelf and studied it, flipping through its pages in curiosity. He never read her books. She tried to share an idea with him once but never again. Apparently his laughing at it cut her deeply and she would hide what she wrote from then on. It was only another thing to add to the pile of shit guilt that was burying him alive. These days he was on a rollercoaster ride. He felt like he could take over the world one minute, usually when Madelyn was giving one of her manipulating pep talks while seducing him, or he felt like he wanted to crawl into a ditch and die. As he stared at the words in this book, he wanted the ditch but felt like the condo he was now in would suffice.

He took the book and went to the bedroom with his beer. Switching on a lamp by the bed, Grant propped himself up on some pillows and opened the book at the beginning. This one would apparently take him to some island where coconuts grew plentiful on palm trees and the ocean would invite breezes to cool off tropical beaches. Grant had to admit, Shannon was good at placing her characters in inventive places; places that few young adults would think to be.

As he read he got the unmistakable feeling that he was not alone. Shadows would appear in the corner of his eye and when he looked there was nothing there. Grant felt as if he was being watched, not by anything human but by an animal. He remembered, as a kid, hiking through some mountain forest with his dad. This particular year his dad was trying to be an outdoorsy sort. Grant hated it and complained all the way. His dad didn't like it either but they were on a trail and they would finish it. Grant remembered feeling uneasy and when he looked around at one point he knew why. A coyote had been watching him, always at a distance, but the eyes were something Grant would never forget. He felt those eyes now but it was stupid. There was nothing here. Clearing his throat he went back to his book.

Her writing was imaginative. It was impressive. He could see how kids would be hooked by the second chapter. He smiled at the conversations of characters, chuckling at the adult innuendos that kids would never understand but had parents reading her books as well. Grant read quickly, while absorbing every word. He finished off his beer and laid the book down to save his spot as he stood to get another. Suddenly a shadow caught his eye. This shadow was of a large dog but its stance was not one of welcome.

"Who's there?" Grant asked to the empty room.

The shadow of the animal just continued pacing.

"What the hell is going on..?" Grant whispered, tingles of caution stroking his spine.

He started to hear shouts. They were faint but they were definitely there. They were livid screams of desperation; of a battle that was being fought and would not be deserted. He squinted in concentration trying to find out where they were coming from while keeping an eye on the dog like shadow that was circling him, proof of it showing up against the walls.

He backed up towards the window and stole a glance to the streets. They were quiet. The chaos he was hearing was coming from this room. Grant looked on the bed at the book. It drew him in, hypnotizing him and tempting him to come closer. He forgot about the animal stalking him as it seemed to have disappeared while Grant was staring at the book. He slowly picked it up and glanced at the words again. They swirled in a whirlpool of grey, each typed word becoming slurred with the other beside it until they were jumbled up in a tornado of blur. And then they spoke. His heart jumped but being hypnotized, he couldn't let go. He was paralyzed as this voice screamed at him and for a moment, he knew why; for a moment, he sneered back and for a moment he wanted to reach in and grab this voice and show him who was boss.

I will not let you take her! We will win! You'll not have her!!!!!!!! She's stronger than you! We all are! You'll not take these lands from us!!!!

For only a second it triggered an angry spark. It wasn't his voice that spoke back. It was his heart and it sounded evil and menacing even to Grant.

"I'd like to see you try."

Hearing the words woke him out of his trance for the sound of them even scared him. This whole scene scared him to death. Grant dropped the book like it was diseased and watched the room around him. The animal was back, pacing and watching. It was guarding this place and he wasn't welcomed.

"I'm out of here." He grumbled.

Grant took the empty beer bottle and ran to the kitchen to place it in the bin. He took the bottle cap and quickly tossed it as well. With shaking hands he found his keys and, with difficulty, took the two that belonged to this building and placed them on the kitchen counter. There was no way he was coming back here without permission and he didn't want to have the keys on him in case it gave the shadows and voices cause to follow him. He was just superstitious that way. As he closed the door he felt like a part of him, this control and power that he assumed he had, stayed trapped within Shannon's walls. That or it had always been there and refused to leave.

*****

As I wrote of him everything went away; all my worries, sadness and frustrations. All of it simply lifted from me and I could actually write and have fun with it. I remembered everything about him; his looks, his voice, his mannerisms, his tricks, his temper and did my best to translate him into words. As I wrote his story I felt free enough to giggle and smile. I felt like it was okay for me to be happy and alive. I always thought I was happy. I never thought I wasn't fortunate in my life but a lot of hidden feelings and situations I ignored were surfacing quickly and the only person that was able to help me work through them was James. Alexander had his place and he always would but James was a soul mate I had yet to find here. It was difficult to think about leaving him. I had anxiety about how I would ever locate him here. Even though I was told it would happen, I didn't want to look into another man's face unless it belonged to him.

I refused to let the sadness of a future that hadn't happen yet completely affect me. I knew James now. I could look at him and talk with him now and that's what I held on to as I wrote his story. As much as I wanted him all for me, I had to share him with the world and then, maybe all people would understand that we each had someone like James with us at all times; that we were never alone and there was a soul mate for every single person out there. It happened to Ashlynne and it happened to my parents. Those examples made my logic true and it rang as faith that James was everywhere in the form of love and could be found even in the most war torn hearts.

Writing was extremely therapeutic. I only needed that extra push to get it done. Unfortunately it was the threat of many lives, only real to me, that did it and I found it a bit extreme so I met the challenge head on. What else was I going to do? I couldn't just sit here. Sitting here with nothing to do would have me dwelling on situations that were out of my control but still were sensitive enough to have me spinning in hurt and fear. I understood how it must have looked; pining for a man that obviously didn't want me, thinking that there could be a way to save it all. I was aware how it frustrated those around me. Little did they know that I knew it was over. There was no more hanging on. I simply needed to gather the courage it would take to find my closure and that meant saying goodbye. The vane part of my womanly nature didn't want to look like a broken woman when I finally did it. At least the bruises from my face could be gone before I faced his.

"Knock knock."

I turned my head to see who was dropping in so late at night. Visiting hours had been over for a while now and I glanced at him confused while eyeing the clock on the wall ahead of me.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" I asked saving my work and shutting down my computer.

"Well..." He walked in with a bag and gingerly set it on my table while giving me a small smile. "I remembered something today while washing up after dinner. Remember when you were seventeen and there was a young boy by the name of Jared?"

I searched my memory of a Jared and when I found it I laughed.

"What brought that on?" I asked.

"I'll tell you." Malcolm pulled out pints of ice cream and huge chocolate bars. "I know that your mother is the expert on fixing broken hearts but I seem to recall that when you dated Jared he was your first serious boyfriend and your mother was out of town when he broke up with you. The only thing I could think to do was ask myself what a girl would do. Your mother, God bless her, watches way to many romantic comedies."

"Dad..." I saw what he was trying to do and it moved me tremendously.

"So I went out at ten thirty that night and bought you ice cream and chocolate. Do you remember?" He asked handing me a spoon.

"I remember." I answered softly, taking it.

"Now, what flavor would you like?"

With a shaky chin, I took the one that contained caramel and chocolate and eased the lid from the top. Malcolm took a seat beside the bed with his pint and eagerly indulged. Ice cream had been a rarity these days but he felt the occasion deserved the treat.

"Mom will have your head for this." I told him.

"It doesn't matter." He replied.

"I suppose you want me to start talking." I offered.

"If you have something to say."

This man knew me so well and knew better than to press me which usually worked in his favor. It was hard to keep things from him and when I did it was only because I never wanted to hurt him or cause him stress.

"I was going over there to end our relationship."

"For a specific reason?" Malcolm asked trying to keep the conversation casual.

"I felt we were going in different directions I guess. I felt like a I was only a second thought to him. Looking back, I had been for a while."

"So you didn't know he was..."

"Having sex with another woman? No. The thought never entered my mind. Stupid hey? The writing was, shall we say, on the wall. Looking back it was an obvious assumption."

"Shannon, you're a smart girl. If he had given you cause to think that was going on you would've said something."

"Or turned a blind eye because I wouldn't want to believe it. I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now I'm sitting in a hospital feeling like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot." Malcolm licked his spoon. "Only in love."

"Tell me something stupid that you did in love."

"What haven't I done?" Malcolm laughed.

"Come on dad. Even if you have to make it up."

Malcolm groaned and took a break from his treat. He stared at the ceiling trying to think of something truthful to say. Suddenly a memory came and he snapped his fingers and sat up.

"I have one." He announced.

"Go on."

"Now, I wasn't your age; I was thirteen. Her name was Theresa Cunningham. She had red hair, freckles and blue eyes. I loved her."

The tone of voice my dad used was a little too whimsical for me and I nearly choked. He chuckled and patted my leg.

"She was the first girl I ever kissed on the cheek besides my mother. That sealed it for me. I thought I was hers forever. But, sadly, I was riding my bike two days after, towards her house, and happened to look into an alley. There was Theresa kissing Robbie Simmons. And not even on the cheek but on the lips. The lips Shannon! Jesus my heart shattered and I hit the curb with my front tire and went head over handle bars. Needed nine stitches! Right here." Malcolm pointed to the faded white scar that left a hairless space on his right eyebrow. "I was never the same again until your mother."

"So that's where that came from. I never knew."

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Malcom answered with the movement on his chest.

"Yeah...about that."

I put down my pint of Ben and Jerry's and folded my hands on my lap. James said I needed to free myself of the worry for my father. I guess now was as good a time as any. Malcolm waited patiently, knowing something was about to come out other than Grant.

"I've been struggling with what happened to you dad. It really scared me." I admitted.

"Yes." He replied not knowing what else to say.

"Like really really scared me. I know you're okay. I know you are but there's always this panic when the phone rings. There's always this need inside of me to see you as much as possible because I'm scared...I'm scared I won't have tomorrow with you."

I allowed a few tears to escape as a quick release because if I didn't I would sob and I did not want to do that right now.

"I'm so sorry my girl." Malcolm said trying to be strong as he realized how his trauma really affected his baby girl.

"It's not your fault." I told him. "It's me. I just hold on to what ifs for some reason and it's starting to take its toll. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm exhausted period. I walked in front of a truck for heaven's sake."

Malcolm got up and sat on the bed. He reached for a chocolate bar and un-wrapped it. Giving me a piece, he took one as well and patted my hip.

"Scooch over."

I did as I was told and he squeezed beside me. I laid my head on his shoulder and took a small bite of the offered treat. It was dark chocolate, bitter sweet, which is how this moment was tasting right now.

"Tomorrow is never promised Shannon. We all realize this now more than ever. Please sweetheart, don't think for one moment that I didn't know how you felt about your old man."

I nodded, sniffing and wishing I had a tissue. He read my mind and reached for the box giving one to me and keeping one for himself.

"We can't dwell on what ifs. If we do, we're missing out on the moments that are so much more important. Seeing you in here after the accident nearly ended my life...again but, knowing you're okay, it's moments in life like the one we're sharing now that I will always cherish. Do you understand what I tell you?"

"Yes."

"When I go, and I will go one day Shannon, I will pass knowing how lucky a man I was to have my girls and to see them live out their lives so beautifully. I don't want to look back and wonder what ever happened to my baby Shannon's heart because it forgot how to be happy and that maybe I was the cause of that. Let's make a deal."

"What deal?"

"These hospital visits are done and gone. Let's step into the future with smiles on our faces knowing to live day to day..."

"That's very philosophical of you." I chuckled, interrupting him.

"And we deserve to be happy." Malcolm turned his body so he could look at me. "You love Grant. I know you do but he's not the one. It's time to move on and you're not alone in it. You have so many people who can help you with that. You have me. I'm healthy and I'm here. I'm here for you Shannon. Don't be worried to lean on me a little more if you have to. I can be there for you."

I snuggled into his body and held his hand. He took it gladly and popped the rest of the chocolate into his mouth.

"Thanks dad. I need you so much right now. I was just afraid to ask. I never want to be a source of stress."

"That would never happen. I'm your father. That's my job." He kissed my head and laid his cheek on it. "I also want to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For Alexander."

"Alexander?" I asked confused.

Malcolm took the last item out of the plastic bag and showed it to me. He took his hand back and flipped to the inscription.

"My dad. I've been missing him lately and so, I was inspired to read your book again. It was as if he was right beside me."

"Will you read it to me?" I asked.

Malcolm looked at the clock. Deciding time wasn't important right now he opened the front page and began to read the requested bed time story. This might be the last time his daughter ever asked him to do it. He needed grandchildren but that conversation could be had another time and most likely with Ashlynne. Malcolm tucked my blankets in as best he could and started to read.

"The grasses of the hills whispered messages from the wind..."

*****

Something felt different. Something was very different but not in a bad way. The feeling was out of the ordinary though because it hadn't been felt in months. James saw the beginnings of a sunrise out the window. The sky was gray but a narrow tear in the sky bled red and orange to the east. He rolled his neck and groaned as it fought his attempts to loosen it. Sleeping in a chair for hours was a crap way to spend a night but Alexander needed to be comfortable and so he gave up his bed. Alexander went to sleep easily and stayed that way. James had decided he would sit with him until morning and keep watch on him. He was still sleeping soundly as James woke and it wasn't like Alexander to sleep past sunrise. Something was different.

Conal picked up his head from the floor and seeing only James, placed it back and closed his eyes again. Even Conal wasn't as anxious. With a last stretch, releasing an audible crack from his back, James quietly left the room and closed the door slightly so as not to disturb his guest. Scratching the back of his head he sauntered into the small kitchen to put the kettle on.

"What the..?" He asked himself and backtracked to the window he passed. James braced himself on a window ledge, completely surprised at the view, which was very different from what he had said goodnight to.

He didn't know how to feel as he walked out the front door of his home. This place was meant to be kept out of site from all and now was showcased in its own realm. The cabin that he rebuilt from memories of a different time had not changed. On the contrary, it was more vibrant somehow. That wasn't the issue. The land had been completely transformed. What once was hidden among dense dark forest was now given room to breathe and expand. There were fewer trees that allowed the sun admittance, which explained why he even saw the sun rising in the first place. There was more thick green grass that rolled themselves into a small hillside which the cabin was now placed upon and below, where James stood, a river ran past, maybe twenty feet wide. The waters ran to the west, toward the nothing as if the blackness was drinking them up. Only, it wasn't black anymore. The dark veil had been turned the color of a storm cloud, its heavy gray appearance still menacing yet losing steam.

James rubbed his hands over his face to wake himself further, thinking that maybe the vision that was in front of him would disappear back to where it came from and he would be left with what he was used to. It didn't work and he took a seat on the porch steps and tried to figure out what was going on. He watched his surroundings, the beauty of them. He had never had anything given to him before, especially a world he could call his own. He was used to sneaking around, fitting in where he could but now he had a home and it held a double meaning. In one way, he had a permanent place he could call home. In another way, he had a permanent place to call home which meant he was no longer living in her heart. She had evicted him in favor of a story. It was obviously coming from love but the immature part of him had him feeling like he was replaced.

"That's not true James and you should know better."

He nearly jumped and tumbled down the steps of the porch. I snickered at the shock on his face and raised my hand to my mouth to stifle anymore laughter.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" James demanded, embarrassed from his surprise.

"Aren't I supposed to be here?" I asked.

"Yes...I guess."

"You guess? I can go back if you want. I thought there were some places we needed to get to."

"There are."

"So, let's go." I urged.

"What is all this Shannon?"

"I've been writing."

"Clearly." He answered standing.

I watched him and let him walk down the porch steps. It appeared he hadn't gotten much rest the previous night. He was moody and disheveled, his scruff that much darker having come in thicker from another day of not shaving. His vest and shirt were undone and wrinkled as if being slept in and his feet were bare as he walked his new home. Suspenders dangled from the sides of his pants but not pulled off. It was obvious he slept in his clothes, or tossed and turned all night in them.

"What happened last night?" I called to him. "Why so..."

"If you wanted to get rid of me Shannon you could have just been honest with me." He interrupted turning back to face me. "If you didn't want me to live within you it would have been better if I heard it from your mouth instead of waking up to this." He gestured around him.

I crossed my arms defensively and told myself to breathe.

"That isn't what I'm doing James."

"How did you get here? I've not spoken with you. I've been busy elsewhere. How did you get in here?"

"The same way I always do. I heard you talking out loud. What is your problem?"

"Why are you trapping me in one of your stories Shannon?" He demanded.

"James!"

He waited below but I could see he was more scared than anything else. It calmed me and I descended the stairs towards him. He didn't move but he wasn't welcoming either.

"I know this is new for both of us and I know we're scared to feel things that are probably not the best to feel right now." I started. "But you are so important to me that I only want to share you with the world so people realize they have their own guides with them. I want people to know this before it's almost too late...like me."

"Shannon..."

"And the only way I can share you and tell people about you is if I write about you. I need you James. I don't know what I'd do without you. Your thoughts about this place are very wrong."

"If I'm stuck here how am I to live here?" James placed a hand on my chest gently. His hand quivered with nerves like he was begging to be let back into a locked door.

I covered his hand with mine and stroked his face.

"I write from my heart about you. You are always here." I pressed on his hand. "I'm not getting rid of you but you are what ties all these worlds together. You're my heart. You're the love that I put into these places that I can only express through creation. You'll always be here James. I need you to write, I need you to love. I need you to be a part of every relationship I have and will have. You're a part of me; something that I can't live without."

"You mean that?" James asked quietly.

"Yes. Just because I gave you a story doesn't mean I don't expect to see you one day in my reality. You promised that would happen and I'm holding you to it."

Relief flooded him. He nearly sank to the ground with the weight of it but instead he took my hand and kissed it.

"Thank you." He said.

"No, thank you." I answered. "I spoke with my dad."

"You did?"

"I took your advice and I told him how I was really feeling. It felt so good to release that."

James looked to the west where the storm was still brewing.

"That must be why it's backed off a little then. Yesterday..."

"What about yesterday?" I took my hand back and stuffed them into my pockets. The way James spoke the word yesterday sounded eerily thankful.

"It moved to Alexander's doorstep. It nearly took him Shannon. I brought him here but he's very weak. He's light as a feather and I fear he's disappearing."

"What?! Alexander?! Where is he?" I demanded running up the stairs. "I can't believe it's not working. I was sure it would work."

"Shannon..."

"I'm writing again James! I talked to my dad! It was supposed to be gone." I frantically told him.

"It won't be gone completely and you know why!"

"But..." I ran my hands through my hair and leaned on the railing of the porch. "I'm not there yet."

James stayed at the bottom of the steps as he looked up to me.

"You will be. I think you almost are actually. Did you look today? It's changed."

I viewed the horizon with curiosity. James was right. It was changing but it still loomed heavily, keeping its grip on my mind and heart. There was less of it of course; now that I was being completely honest with myself and those around me about my relationship with Grant. I just assumed that it had backed off enough that no one would be hurt. Now, the man that contained the memory of my grandfather, or assumed memory, was hurting because I wasn't able to get closure with Grant fast enough.

"I have to go James. I'll see you later. I have to see Grant." I turned and tried to find the green mist but it wasn't there and it wasn't appearing.

James quickly walked up to me and took me by the arm. I tried to shake him off, irritated at the pull away from which I came. Nothing mattered to me now except having that part of my life over with.

"Let go." I told him.

"Not yet. Look, you just got here, you've made so much progress, it might be a better idea if you made a little more just in case things don't go the way you want them too."

"James let go." I warned. "If it goes badly I won't freak out. I'll just write."

"Let go James." Alexander ordered. "We have a day of travel and bickering like this won't get us there any faster."

James dropped my hand and looked to Alexander, who was surprisingly well considered what he looked like the previous day.

"Alexander?" I watched him in curiosity. "He's not sick. Why would you tell me he was disappearing? He looks fine." I told James.

"This wasn't the same man I put to bed last night." He argued. "What are you trying to pull old man?" James asked. "What's going on."

Alexander chuckled and walked towards me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed them. I couldn't help but turn the simple gesture into a warm embrace.

"When James said you were sick I didn't want to believe it"

"I was Shannon. I wasn't well. I haven't been well for a long time but somehow you've changed the course of things just in time. It's not all fixed but..." He looked over to where his home still stood and smiled gratefully. "It's getting there." Alexander turned to look at James as he let me go from his arms. "James, there is a lady present and you look like crap. Go get cleaned up. We leave in twenty minutes."

James narrowed his eyes and failed to move.

"I carry your arse all the way over here, you use my bed to your full advantage, obviously, and you decide the best way to thank me is to order me to take a bath?"

"Thank you James. Is that better?" Alexander asked.

"A little." He answered.

"Good. Now go get cleaned up." Alexander turned to me and smiled warmly. "Tea?"

"Please." I replied.

He turned to go back to the house. Conal came to greet me happily. He looked so calm that it made me smile.

"You look so good Conal. Wow, what a difference a day makes." I said stroking his body.

"He slept." James said sarcastically.

"Alright James. I understand you're tired. But...do you like it?"

"Like what?"

"What I wrote? It's still early and it's not quite finished but it just flowed out and..." I spoke in a rush to try to explain what I was doing. James simply placed a finger on my lips.

"It's more than what I ever thought I would have Shannon. Thank you." He answered.

James bent to give me a soft kiss and let his lips linger close to mine making my heart race. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, enjoying these new feelings coming from me. His nose brushed against mine playfully and his next kiss was deeper. I allowed it because I knew there was no other. I allowed it because I may not ever kiss these lips again. There would be a time where he would be with me but not like this; how he was to me here. So I allowed everything he wanted to give me so I could always remember him as just James; the man with the gray eyes and poet's voice with the Irish lilt. The trickster with a sensitive heart. The man who only ever wanted to feel what I wanted to as well; to simply be loved as he was. James was finding himself through these lands, once he gave them the chance, and I was finding myself through him and the guidance he was showing me.

He felt what I was hiding. He felt what I was scared to say out loud. He felt how protective I was to let anyone else know how I was feeling and he didn't blame me but it was time to stop hiding. It was time to be honest with myself and everyone around me, including those that knew me in the most deserted places.

"What is it Shannon?" James asked softly.

"No. I can't...it's nothing."

"It's something and you need to take a lesson from Conal when it comes to courage. That's why he's here for you. Say it. Say what you're so scared to say. Say what you fear will never be returned because it never has; not ever in the way you needed."

I shook my head and smiled in hesitation and embarrassment. Glancing down at Conal, he urged me on with his eyes. His were the same as James' for they were the same, at times, within me. Conal continued to stare back, telling me the same thing as James was.

"I love you." I whispered not daring to look James in the eye which he would not let go. James stepped closer and took my hands in his.

"Look at me and tell me what you need me to hear." He insisted.

The pressure from his fingers in mine urged me to look up and stare into his eyes. I got lost in their gaze. The unwavering presence of his being seeped into mine, through his eyes, and it calmed me; letting me know that we were sacred and I had nothing to be afraid of.

"I love you." I repeated, now firmly so as there was no doubt.

James brought me in as close as he could. He sheltered me in his arms and kissed my head. His eyes met the man's who prohibited any sort of romance between them but even Alexander's stance had faltered. With a nod of understanding, Alexander quietly walked back into the house, allowing James his chance to be the man that I needed. Relieved, James closed his eyes and absorbed this moment.

"I'll love you forever Shannon. That is my vow to you and I'll not break it. Find me."

"I will." I promised. "I'll find you."

*****

Shannon was walking ahead with Conal. James watched her feeling lighter. He felt carefree and young, not so heavy with loneliness and worry. Alexander walked beside him, staying quiet. James knew there was something he wanted to say but he wouldn't. It was aggravating.

"Nice weather today. A lot nicer than yesterday don't you agree?" James asked.

"Yes. Very nice." Alexander answered.

"Did you see the nothing? It's changed. It's still there but it's changing which is good news."

"I hadn't bothered to look."

James rolled his eyes. It wasn't often that Alexander stayed quiet. It was unnerving to say the least. James watched Conal and Shannon, trying not to feel as if he'd done something wrong. Alexander gave his permission. James saw it. So why was he acting so stoic at the moment.

"How long do you think it will take to get to the graves since Shannon's been writing and adding to this place?"

"Oh, I'd say the day."

"And you're okay to travel that long?"

"James, I've travelled a lot longer than what I'm doing now."

"But you've been weakened."

"I'm much better." Alexander replied. "I feel much better."

"Have I done something to upset you Alexander?" James inquired.

"Of course not my boy. Why would you ask?"

"Because you're silence is having a great time playing with my insecurities. You saw Shannon and I on the porch. You saw us and you did not object. So why the silent treatment?"

"I have no objections about your relationship with Shannon. Yes, in the beginning, I was worried that things would get out of hand very quickly. You must admit James, it is you and Shannon."

"And now? I've not changed. I'm still me."

"You think so?" Alexander chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"In the time since Shannon's been here, you don't see a change in yourself?" Alexander inquired, stopping his walk and leaning on his stick. "I've seen a tremendous change."

"Oh do tell. I'm all ears." James inquired.

"I see a man." Alexander answered.

"I've always been a man." James argued.

"Not a very good one I dare say."

"I'll try not to be offended by your words." James answered.

"James, you must admit, your maturity was amiss before Shannon got here. Running naked through gardens, stealing, making babies..." Alexander chuckled.

James rolled his eyes and sighed exasperated.

"We cleared that up."

"Rats in a woman's shower."

"That is only rumor. I will never admit to that."

"Pissing in a well."

"Again, here say."

"Living in fantasy as before. This is not the story you once lived."

James had nothing to answer to that one. It was true but that wasn't his doing, at least he thought so.

"Now look at you. Facing challenges head on, being helpful, respectful even. You stand taller. By God James you're a man." Alexander finished.

"Why do I get the feeling that this conversation isn't what I think it's meant to be."

"You've grown up so fast you've even pledged your life to a woman. And not just any woman. No. To the woman who these worlds depend upon. Now, my dear James. I will not stop you. I see how you two feel about each other and it warms me. It moves me."

"So what's your problem?" James asked.

"What life are you pledging to her James?!"

"My life!"

"And where is that supposed to happen? Hhmm? This is not that story. This is completely different. They are not the same woman."

"She'll find me there." James insisted ignoring Alexander's words. "She will find me."

"And in what form will she find you. She is in love with you. You! It's not just the feel of you James. She's in love with all of you. You are not able to live in her existence as you lived with her here."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"So how could you pledge your life to her."

James was stumped. It was true. How could she find him when she was looking for the James she only knew here? How could he ever be found there?

"I'm sorry Alexander." James admitted. "I got carried away."

Alexander shook his head and watched a woman, without a care, ahead of them.

"Don't be sorry but you understand my concern?"

"Yes."

"You and Conal protect her. You guide her and love her but please James, care for yourself as well. Wrap yourself up in her, lose yourself in her. Just understand that there will come a day where you will have to let her go until the time where you are called by another soul. It won't be you she sees. It will be you she feels."

"Can't it be the same?" James asked.

"That's not a question I can answer for you James." Alexander turned and continued his walk. "I'm not sure how it works. I've never talked to another person who lives in a heart. If I could see what happens in her reality I would love to share it with you but I don't know. Nor will I ever. I only know what I see before me. Maybe she will see you. Maybe that's how she'll know you but I tend to lean on the side of caution. Especially since that thing arrived."

"So you're saying there could be a chance." James asked heart full of hope.

"I said I don't know." Alexander answered.

James paused in conversation as a thought entered his mind and confused him. He stood still as Alexander continued his walk. James studied him, never realizing that Alexander had become a mind reader.

"How did you know I pledged my life to her anyway. Were you eavesdropping?"

"Guilty." Alexander replied not bothering to turn and face him. "Someone has to play chaperone."

"That is despicable behavior, even from you!"

"I've learned from the best James. Only the best."

James scowled and followed slowly, purposely staying behind, feeling irritated that such a private moment had been watched. He assumed that's why Alexander was following him; to make sure that they got to the graves and nowhere else. Shannon had her new ideas to write out but apparently, seeing what had died was just as important as what could be created, and he had to agree. She needed to see the truth of who she really was to him. It was time Shannon remembered everything and it scared him because part of what she needed to know he simply couldn't forget.

*****

The landscape was definitely changing. It no longer felt as if I was walking through a fairytale. On the contrary, it was turning into a sequence of scenes from a bad dream. Not one of horror but one of sadness laced with a dark and haunting mystery. There was the faint sound of voices chanting, like ancient monks were burying someone nearby, and it continued as we walked closer; always quiet but present.

"Where is that coming from?" I asked Alexander.

"From the keepers of the unborn." He answered simply.

"The keepers of the unborn? Are you kidding me? Where are you taking me?" I demanded, stopping in my tracks. "I refuse to go anywhere to meet people with names like that. I never once wrote something so..."

"Disturbing?" James asked.

"Exactly." I answered. "Disturbing."

"That's fine. They don't like to, now how shall I say this, visit anyway. They're not people." Alexander said.

"What are they then?" I asked.

"Concepts or thoughts that were not given the chance at life, taking on physical form to watch over those killed off too soon."

Alexander continued to walk forward. James stood at my side and I couldn't help but give him an angry look.

"What?" He asked.

"You're not going to help me out here?" I asked irritated.

James studied me then sent me a cocky smile.

"You're scared."

"I am not scared." I argued. "I am terrified. I have been writing. You know that. I don't have to see this."

"Why not? You killed them."

"You say that as if they were real!"

"They were." James answered following Alexander. "If only for a moment."

Conal waited at my side, wondering if he should stick with me or go on ahead. He was indifferent about the whole thing and gave a questioning groan. I cautiously stepped forward and watched around me. The trees were now changing. They weren't trees anymore; well they were but nothing like a normal looking tree. They were half human and half foliage. Different parts of anatomy were carved into branches or trunks. Maybe carved was the wrong word, more like they were branches and trunks. I stopped at a tree and watched it. The trunk was a large arm that stood up from the ground from the elbow. Its color was worn and brown but appeared to be skin that was painted to look like the bark of a tree. The hand faced upwards, fingers pointing to the sky. The nails were cracked and weathered and out of the fingertips grew green foliage. Some leaves were large like maple and others, prickly like pines.

There were legs and torsos; lower bodies and upper bodies. There was a strange beauty in all their ugliness. The female forms took shape as their long tendrils of hair were woven into branches that held wilted flowers or drooping vines and moss. The male form was very evident, their strength crumbling in the rotting wood that was their homes.

Continuing to walk I tried not to stare. I didn't want to be disrespectful by staring at naked bodies as trees. I did, however, stop at a tree that held the carving of a face. It had no gender. It was only a face that was barely protruding out of an old stump, its ears still ensconced in the wood of the old tree. The face was beautiful. Rings of age from the tree circled it as an aura that was trapped around this person as they were starting to form.

I reached out to stroke its face, feeling as if at any moment the eyes would shoot open; begging to be released from its prison. Conal jumped up and placed his paws on the halo of its head and sniffed around. He gave it a quick lick with his tongue and left to find things more interesting or tasty. Either would be better than this.

"I wonder who you were going to be." I whispered as I removed my hand. "I wish I knew."

"It's not too late Shannon. It's never too late." Alexander spoke softly.

"It is if I don't know who they were." I answered.

"These were never given a name. The spirit of them can be brought back and finished. There is always a new beginning to look forward to after an ending; maybe a reinvention of sorts. Not only for characters of a book but even for an individual such as myself...or you."

"After all is said and done, you believe in reinvention?" I asked.

"Just because you finished a story doesn't mean it doesn't continue. You should believe that now." He smiled warmly at me. "I'm proof."

"Do you need another story?" I asked.

"I live one every day. It's always different. Come over here. See this." He took me by the elbow and led me in another direction.

I followed him but turned to look back at the face in the wood, wishing there was more life on its surface.

We walked through more dank and depressing scenery. With each step the place took on different appearances and different feelings. This area had a heavy mist that floated along the ground, coming as high as my knees and swirling in answer to those that moved through it. I recognized it and wasn't sure if I was more disturbed or happily surprised.

"This mist is the same mist I was floating in after the accident; when I didn't know who I was." I said out loud.

"Because you were here." James answered.

I jumped at his voice, not expecting him to pop out of nowhere. I hadn't seen him since we entered this place and at this point I couldn't see Alexander anymore.

"You made a choice to come out of this. No one else that lies here was given that option."

"Where did you come from?" I asked.

"Be careful when you're here Shannon. It's easy to get carried away by distraction. Have your feet firmly on the ground and remember them..."

James disappeared again and shivers crawled up my spine as I remembered hearing those exact words in my office late at night. I only assumed that he was talking of those I already wrote about. I didn't know he meant those that were buried too soon as well. As I looked around for Alexander, I found myself completely alone. Where was everyone and why was I alone to face this by myself? The chanting got louder and I followed its melancholy sound. It seemed as if it was coming at me from all directions but as I walked forward, I focused, and found that it was right before me. The mist here was lighter and the trees huge like the Redwoods of California. I stopped, noticing forms in the distance. Ducking behind a large tree, I watched as they floated along with the mist, wearing white cloaks that hung; draping them in saintly form. There were no faces to these beings. They remained empty, the sound of song not being sung but seeping out of the shadows of their hooded heads. They floated up. There appeared to be dwellings in the trees where they were returning, but once gone, their songs still resonated in the air around me.

"This is too much. I have to get out of here. I've seen enough." I whispered.

Turning around, I tried to walk back from where I came but was stopped by a hooded form. It was tall and thin and I was scared at how it simply hung there, empty but full of promises unfulfilled. I gasped and covered my face in fear. It inspected me and I shook wondering, if it knew who I was, would I be safe.

"I'm so sorry." I told it. "I didn't know."

I was starting to understand what Ebenezer Scrooge was feeling like when he was confronted by the ghost of Christmas future and only prayed that it would turn out the same way.

Remember them...

"James?"

Removing my trembling hands I slowly looked up. The form was gone and I was alone but had been moved to a different place without my knowledge. I gasped with relief and steadied myself on a rock beside me. Leaning into it, I placed my head on its cool surface. This rock seemed to be shaped or carved into an object of some sort. Straightening, I stepped back to get a good view of it. Instead of being tossed into an empty hole in a graveyard I was placed in the middle of countless headstones. Ancient crosses, angels, and depictions of saints stood everywhere; some crumbling, some weathered, none of them looking new.

"Oh this is much better. Thank you so much." I spoke to the air, hoping that the spirit that confronted me was listening.

*****

"Alexander? James?" I called out but there was no one with me.

I was given a private viewing of every idea that I had discarded over the years and there appeared to be many. It wasn't unusual to me that ideas would be abandoned for something better. It happened all the time. Painters would toss their creative works of art if they didn't feel they were up to their certain standards. Musicians would discard music if the sound wasn't quite right. What was wrong with writers scrapping things that didn't work for them?

"This is not fair." I grumbled, continuing to walk around. "These are merely thoughts and their treated like victims of war."

I perused the large area, stopping here and there to see what names or images were on the headstones. Sometimes there was nothing to mark what it was. Sometimes it would only be a first name or gender. No dates and no description. There was nothing to help me remember them. I had so many over the years that it was easy for one to get lost in the back of my mind. Noticing a beautiful headstone towards the back, I traveled over to it and rubbed the surface lightly to see if there was a name. I figured there would be since this grave was marked so beautifully. Maybe it was something that I could remember and bring it back with me.

"The biggest one in the yard and the dirtiest." I said, softly.

I crouched by the foot of it and cleared off debris from the ground around it. I wanted to see why this one, in the back corner of a graveyard, was so big and beautiful, yet neglected to such a lonesome state. Someone had visited it more recently than the others. There were roses and wild flowers, now dry and wilted that were scattered on the ground. Someone did love the person that lay here very much but hadn't returned in a while and I couldn't help but wonder where they could be. Had the memory of this person dried up that quickly?

All that was depicted on the stone's surface was the worn face of a cherub angel and elegant writing that was covered with moss and dirt. I needed to know who was so loved here. I needed to know who was resting here. I was pulled to this certain grave, not because of its seeming importance, but because who was here meant a lot to me at some point in my writing career. I just didn't quite know in what way.

I rubbed at the stone's surface with more force, trying to clean off the name, trying desperatley to find out who was so dear to me that was now gone. The moss and mud started to chip away and I as I worked at it even more, the inscription appeared slowly and shyly, as if scared that I would run if I knew the truth of who was here. Standing back, I wiped my hands on my pants and read the letters as they appeared.

HAZEL AALTEN

I remembered immediately. The scar of the memory ripped through me revealing a fresh wound that I thought had healed; or shoved down to a place where I couldn't see it anymore. This was apparently what they needed me to see. It didn't matter how cruel it was, they wanted me to relive something that I had no intention of reliving. I didn't want to remember this person because the person that was buried here was me.

I had always wanted to write a character that was me but never tried until her. Of course, little bits of myself were in everyone that I wrote but this woman was me. She looked like me, she acted like me, she talked like me. I gave her my middle name, the name I acted as if I hated but secretly wished it was my first. I wished to escape to another world for a while so Hazel became my personal journey as I lived another life. I had sketched and written out a hefty sum of words on her behalf; created families and friends...even a lover. It would be my first novel geared towards adults. I was excited for her and myself. I wasn't used to writing like this and so I wanted another's opinion. Grant had always begged to read something of mine; be the first to lay eyes on something that no one else had yet. It was at a time where we did have a future in sight; a great future that included children and family and a commitment to each other that was supposed to last until we were old and grey. At least I thought we had that and then he read her. He read Hazel and he laughed, creating that first seed of doubt that festered while I tried to ignore it because I thought I was in love.

"God I loved her." James whispered beside me.

I wasn't surprised by his voice. Seeing her name, I knew exactly who was tending to her grave and why, I just didn't know why he stopped coming.

"You knew her?" I asked.

"Knew her? Shannon, the moment your words gave birth to her we never strayed far from each other. She was you. You placed yourself here, at one time, through her eyes."

"You...you were her lover?"

"Don't you remember?" James asked crouching down and placing a fresh flower on the ground.

"I try not to." I admitted.

"Now's the time to remember. What was his name, Shannon?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets and cleared my throat.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked sadly.

"Because that's why you're here. What was his name?" He repeated.

"James." I whispered.

"What?" He stood and faced me.

"His name was James. Okay. His name was James." I answered in exasperation.

"Hazel was my love because she was you. I loved her with everything that was me. I was experiencing something that I could only dream of here, after years of waiting for you in life I actually had you here with me in dreams and fantasy. I could feel you, make love to you, have a future that I have been waiting forever for."

"Stop." I begged. "Please stop."

"And he killed her." James finished letting tears flow. "And he's killing you."

"You said it yourself. It was dream and a fantasy. It wasn't real."

"It was real to me! She was real to you! I was finally living a life with you. Have you ever held someone in your arms, for ever after, and had them killed so suddenly? So quickly?" James demanded. "I died with her that day and yet I still had to live where you loved Grant and I still had to wait for you...again."

I gestured to the grave, trying to make myself feel better by stating the obvious.

"You have forgotten her. Her memory has wilted along with the flowers you've left here."

"I've never forgotten her. It's so easy for you to say that but have I really forgotten you Shannon? I think I had just a little bit of an important job to do then cry at a grave." He wiped his eyes in an attempt to gain his composure. "I was given the chance to be with her again, if not in the way we were, but just enough through your visits here. Hazel is in this earth but it doesn't have to be forever and you know that. You can come back from this. You already have. Don't let one person bury who you are and what you've worked so hard to become."

"I'm trying James."

"I know and you're almost there." He answered stroking my cheek. "I'm proud of you but it doesn't negate the fact that there is a goodbye lingering around that has yet to be said."

"Have you said good bye?" I asked softly, staring at the grave.

"No." He smiled sadly but there was comfort in his eyes. "Only see you later."

Stepping up to him, I embraced him with my whole being. He held on tightly, smoothing my hair. We both stood and watched Hazel's grave, willing her back to life and into me.

"If I had known what I was doing I would have stopped. Especially knowing what I've done to you. I'm so sorry James."

"I don't blame you." He answered. "I'm only here to love you back."

"Love Hazel back." I corrected.

"No." James pulled away and stared into my face. "Love you back. A character in a book is great and it could take the form of anyone but it's you I want. It's always you Shannon Donnelly. Hazel is you."

Soft footsteps called us back, regretting, only for a moment, that Alexander was with us. James took my hand and held it firmly. Conal was the first to appear followed by Alexander who walked slowly, confirming that his interruption was okay.

"There you are. I was starting to get worried that you were lost. So, have you seen everything?" Alexander asked.

"Yes." I answered knowing full well what he was speaking about. "Thank you for bringing me here. I did need to see it."

"You, dear Shannon, were not the only one." Alexander answered looking at James. "The time of living in memory is over. It's time to create new ones. Don't you agree James?"

James glanced at the headstone then to Shannon.

"I'm only waiting for permission to do so." He replied.

"Then I guess I have some work to do." I sighed. "Alexander, it's time I saw that thing that you're all concerned about. I need to find out what's on the other side."

"That's the best idea I've heard in a long time." He smiled warmly. "Come along then."

Alexander turned and walked in the direction he came. We followed, holding on to each other tightly. Conal, tongue falling out of his mouth in complete contentment ran ahead without a care. Watching him, I could see I had nothing to worry about and I would hold on to that fact. As we passed the trees of bodies I took a last look at the face in the distance, which was carved so beautifully. I smiled at it because I anticipated what it would become as I continued my story of these places, combining them into one world as James was doing by living here. Little did I know that the spark of anticipation was felt by this face, opening the eyes of a woman that was slowly being resurrected from her early grave.

*****

As we walked back towards James' new home, plans were made to spread the word that the nothing was to be breached. Alexander spoke quickly, planning out loud as was his way when no detail could be forgotten. Carlos, being the closest next to Alexander, would be the first to know. There would be people to travel to others and spread the word. They would meet in the hills of Alexander's lands, to witness what would happen, as one community; one family. All would not be lost to them and, if it was, they would be together. Alexander left us on the porch of James' home. As tired as he looked, there was a sense of anticipation about a future that was coming back from the past. A place of no concern and worry; where the day to day business of these worlds would no longer be disrupted by uncertainty.

"Are you positive about this Shannon?" Alexander asked before leaving. "I cannot go to these people and tell them something will be done when nothing will. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I have no question that's what needs to happen." I confirmed.

"Okay then. We'll wait for your return."

As we watched him walk off, James held me from behind assuming that I would be leaving shortly as well and he would be left alone wondering what was next.

"You're returning now?" He whispered.

"I have to get back. I have a job to do."

"Yes." James agreed.

"I'll be back and I'll keep coming back until I can't anymore. When will that be?" I asked.

"Very soon."

His response surprised me as I wasn't expecting to hear that from him. I was hoping that he would tell me that I would always be welcome.

"Very soon?" I turned to face him, to make sure the answer was on his face as well as in his voice.

"As soon as you cross over to the other side of that..." He gestured to the west. "You'll no longer be able to come here."

I stepped away from him and walked a few paces.

"Can that be changed?" I asked.

"No." He noticed my worry and understood. "We knew this day was coming Shannon."

"I know. It doesn't make it any easier. It's just one of these things that I never wanted to end. I like it here. You're here."

"All things come to an end which only makes room for new things to start."

I didn't want to panic about my impending future and I tried not to. Instead I tried to hold on to what I had right now.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I asked quickly.

"With me?" He asked.

"I'm not ready to go just yet. I mean, I know I have to, but..."

"You don't have to just yet. Stay as long as you like."

"If it was as long as I liked it would be forever."

"Touché." He answered. "Come on in."

James led the way into the home he reworked from distant memories. What once was run down was like new again. As I stepped through the threshold of a place I couldn't forget, I was immediately brought back through time yet given a glimpse of a future. It was the place I remembered as a child only refined, keeping the old and polishing it until it was new again.

"Wow. James, I'm speechless. How did you find it?"

"I remembered a story you wrote and a passing scene that you wanted to be more and thought it would be one day." James smiled. "I liked it there. Thanks for leaving it for me."

"I was waiting for the perfect time to write it out but Hazel must have been here." I inquired, lost in timelines of stories from the past.

"No. This was after. I needed a hiding spot for a while." James answered uneasily. "As you learned earlier today."

Taking that as a cue, I wondered around the home, absorbing what was still the same and what was different. The stone fireplace was unchanged with its large rocks, layered together, up towards the high beamed ceilings. The walls were left as old wood planks, as I remembered, coming from a barn down the road that was being redone. The floors were bare, save for dark brown bear pelts that lay here and there. The windows were tall and narrow, combining together to form a wall that looked out onto the river, which would have been the lake in my reality. Instead of a ladder to the loft area, there were now narrow stairs but James had his own bedroom, where my parents' had one, on the main floor and past the kitchen. He kept the furniture natural, appearing as if he had just cut down a tree and stripped the bark off, leaving the trunks bare to hold up a large feather bed.

Coming back to the living room I went to the fireplace where James had built a beautiful mantel. It held small carvings, some stained and some left naked of color. The talent that was shown in these works of art was stunning. I picked one up that mimicked a woman expecting a child.

"It's beautiful James. Did you do it?" I asked inspecting it closely.

"Yes. Alexander showed me a thing or two about wood."

"It's really wonderful."

"I wish you could take it with you." James offered.

I smiled sadly and set it down.

"So do I."

The fireplace was flanked by two worn leather chairs and a sofa. They were exactly what I remembered and I flopped down heavily on them enjoying their comfort. They felt the same, hugging my body in all the same place as they always had when I visited the house.

"You kept them." I said enthusiastically, reveling in the sofa's supple surface.

"How could I not?" He replied sitting with me.

"I love it. It feels like home. Thank you for respecting its memory for me."

"Why don't you live there? You've missed it for a long time."

"Live? At the lake house? No way."

"Why not?" James pressed.

"My dad would never allow it."

"Have you asked?"

"No. I've never thought to ask."

"Yes you have." James winked.

"What are you? A mind reader now?"

"No. Simply guessing from how you've missed it."

"I have missed it. You're right." I agreed.

"Well, new scenery for new beginnings maybe?"

"Maybe." I replied wistfully.

I sighed in relaxation and stretched out on the old sofa, nudging James in his legs in the process. The silence between us had me thinking about things I didn't want to right now like what it would be to leave him. I knew it would be so difficult that I could barely think of it without getting visibly emotional. Deciding to leave Grant wasn't half as frightening as leaving a man I fell in love with so fast and hard. It was beyond obvious reasons and for reasons that any woman would appreciate. He had my back, caught me when I fell, and loved me without expecting anything in return. His love stretched beyond me to touch those in my family and my life where I lived. As I slowly recovered, heart and soul, he also helped my family to heal as well, in any way he could. His connection lived deep in my heart and was felt, without question, by those that were closest to me. That made it so much harder to know our time was nearly done. For how long, we didn't know.

Conal made himself comfortable on a make shift dog bed that looked better than my own bed at home. I giggled at how spoiled he was and said just as much to James.

"He deserves it. He works harder than most."

"And you don't?" I answered.

James shrugged the question off and stood. He took off his suit jacket and undid the cuffs of his shirt.

"Why the suit?" I asked.

"Any gentleman wears a suit. It's respectful." He answered in a way that he thought I should have known better.

"And attractive." I added.

James rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"You wouldn't be the first to say so." He answered honestly, undoing his collar.

"And who else would say so? Who have you been with here?" I teased.

"You know of my history. I've nothing to hide from you."

"Just Eleanor Fennig?"

"I wasn't with her. I've only ever been with you."

"Funny. You'd think I'd remember something like that." I replied watching and anticipating where this conversation was heading; where I wanted it to go.

"Would you like to remember Shannon?"

My heart skipped a beat and I sat up nervously, nodding slightly.

"You'd help me remember?"

"I have it memorized word for word."

I realized, then, he meant the words of the first love scene I attempted to write. I was slightly embarrassed as I kept those words hidden, even when Grant attempted to read it, so knowing that James had the words memorized had me feeling uneasy.

"That was Hazel. It wasn't me." I taunted.

"Ah but that's where you're wrong." James shook his head and walked slowly towards me, never taking his eyes off mine. "It was you. You put yourself in those words; in that scene. So much so that you knew it was me who touched you."

James offered his hand and I took it, allowing him to pull me to my feet, standing so close to him that his breathe tickled my face.

"You felt my touch; you felt my lips, my hands." He whispered, caressing my neck and back with his fingers.

"Yes..." I answered, slightly breathless.

"It was your skin that burned under my fingers Shannon."

James kissed my neck as hands crept under my shirt, causing goose bumps to rise in answer.

"Did you not hear me; whisper your name in the dark of your bedroom? The night you wrote of us?"

I remembered and as I remembered, my body began to ache and need as it had when I was alone with my thoughts; writing of him and I coming together in a slow rhythm, not rushing anything because all there was were so many blank pages to fill, with all the time in the world to fill them.

"Yes. You remember I was there and you felt me." James continued to whisper. "And you'll feel me now because I will not let you leave this place without making love to you at least once so you can take me with you in more places than just your heart."

"You really have a way with words." I answered.

"I learn from the best."

With trembling hands, I took my time undressing him. I didn't know why I was so nervous. This was not my first time but James was intensity mixed with softness, a combination I had never encountered. I couldn't compare him with any other lover. He felt for my cues and honored them as I did with his. We couldn't rush it yet I couldn't resist this urge that was buried deep inside; never revealing itself up until now when I knew no one would ever know me this intimately. Here, in this place, I would bare all of me with no question or reservation.

It wasn't dark but evening was falling soon; lighting the lake house in fiery pinks and oranges, matching the heat of the moment that was us. As oranges turned to greys and greys turned to black, we remembered each other from lifetimes past and futures. Our hearts were cemented together as our bodies connected as one; each time we joined, the thread that bound us grew thick as rope. We were tied, creating a forever bond that couldn't be broken through fiction or reality. We were each other's heaven; we simply needed to find it on earth.

*****

What time was it? He didn't care but he felt the pull of another world beginning to open its doors. Of course he could control it and put it off but it was getting harder to say no to its nagging voice.

"Shannon." James whispered, cutting into the darkness that surrounded us.

"Yes?" I asked scared about what he would say.

James kissed my shoulder and pulled at my arm to face him. He noticed the fear on my face and smiled warmly.

"You will return to do what you set out to do." He said softly. "There's no need for that face."

"Please don't open it." I answered, feeling tears surface. "Please let me stay."

"Hush now." James wiped a tear that had escaped down my cheek. "I can only put it off for so long. I'll be there with you, I promise you that. I'll stay with you."

"But you said that once and..."

"It was a mistake." He interrupted. "One I'll not make again."

I sat up to lean on my elbow with an epiphany that I thought might work. I was really only grasping at straws.

"I can live like this. It's not so bad. I can come back and forth. It's fine. The door doesn't have to be shut forever."

"No Shannon. We've been over this. You'll not return when it's done. I can't control that. It is what it is."

"Then I won't do it." I refused.

"Yes you will because you know what's at stake."

"God! This is so hard." I softly cried, burying my face in the pillow underneath me as a child would.

James was trying very hard to be the strong one but he had to agree. This impending separation was heavy on his soul as well but he needed to get her to the other side where he could be found and she could let go.

"I will be reflected in the eyes of the one you choose as your forever." He rubbed my back, sending me as much reassurance as he could offer, which wasn't much.

"When?" I begged, sitting up and letting the sheets fall to the mattress.

"I can't answer that. All I know is that it will happen. Trust in faith. Trust in us and our story."

"I'm trying."

James looked away from me, toward the door to the bedroom. I shook my head in disagreement because I hated what was to appear. As always, the soft green glow that had been a comfort to me, a form of escape, was now the last thing I wanted to look at.

"I'll come for you soon. Go Shannon, your sister waits."

Giving him a last kiss, I held on for only a minute longer. He gently cupped my face with is hands and returned the gesture. Our foreheads met and I closed my eyes, willing him to come with me, even though I knew he wouldn't. We never walked through the door together. It seemed we were never allowed.

"I love you Shannon Donnelly. Go knowing that."

"You don't have to reassure me of your love. I know how you feel. I've never questioned it. From the first day we met I knew it. I felt it as well."

"Then you know it's true. Trust in us."

"I love you." I told him. "Do you believe me?"

It was a desperate question but I had to leave here knowing that he knew I loved him. There was no one else that occupied the space that James did in my heart and soul. I knew that now and wanted to be sure that he did also.

"From the first moment I came to be here." He pointed at my chest gently. "I never thought otherwise."

Hearing his words I was relieved and kissed his forehead.

"Goodbye." I told him standing.

"See you later Shannon."

James watched me go and only when the door closed did he let himself fall back onto the bed in an emotional broken heap of a man. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to erase what had just happened as tears burned like acid against his eyelids.

"Why!!!!!" He shouted. "Why won't you come? I have pleaded with you and you have yet to show yourself. I need her now!!!" He wailed. "Please hear me."

His shoulders shook with sobs as he let it all go. Everything he was holding inside all this time he let escape but it didn't make things better. On the contrary, it made it worse. It made him insane, spiraling down an emotional path with no room to breathe. James jumped out of bed and felt for his clothing. He hastily put on his pants and shirt, leaving them undone. He ran for the mantle and grabbed the small carving that Shannon held earlier, pausing to study it as she did. It was supposed to be a future he dreamed about; the dream was fading quickly. Conal watched, with intensity, at his partner who seemed as if he was going crazy. James felt the stare and pleaded with him.

"Conal, please help me. Take me there."

Conal snarled, curling back his lips. He didn't like where this was going. To further his aggravation, James had intruded on a very deep and comfortable sleep, one he hadn't experienced in a long time. It pissed him off.

"As your friend and your partner. Conal, please."

The moment the wolf reluctantly got to his feet, James was out the door. He ran, as he had when he was in search of Alexander, only this time he ran faster. If it wasn't for the new world that was built around him it would have been an easy trip but now, it appeared, as if he was running from that as well. He ran to where he always did when he needed to be close to her. He ran to what he neglected for too long because, as Shannon had trouble breaking from the past, so did he.

James was torn. He knew they were the same person. That was evident as soon as he and Shannon met here but he couldn't help and still grieve. Even after holding Shannon in his arms shortly before, he craved to lay with her again and this was the only way James knew how. Conal ran beside him, supporting James' crazy needs at the moment. He watched their surroundings now protecting James instead of Shannon because that's who needed him more and for once he listened to James' heart felt request. James never asked him for much.

They rounded the last corner as the sun peaked above the horizon. Everything was the same; the trees, the mist, the echoing songs of spirits who floated through these lands, protecting what was killed and what was yet to be resurrected, if ever. James ran for the face in the trees that Shannon had stopped at earlier. Its eyes were open, blinking from time to time but they continued to see nothing; its stare completely blank. These eyes were still blind to the possibility of life, even though Shannon began a process to make it so. James struggled with watching something so lifeless and kissed its lips, oblivious to their stiffness.

"Come back to me. Please come back to me." James sobbed, breathless and sweaty. He laid his cheek against the stiff skin, willing the life of Hazel towards him. "Please."

Getting no response, James backed away and into the mist. It engulfed him but he had been here many times before and knew exactly where he was going. Turning and walking then turning again, he found himself in a graveyard, absent of all life and light. He didn't need to see to know where he felt he belonged. Sensing hope being drained of him quickly, he fumbled his way to the back corner and stood before her. Crouching, James placed the carving at the foot of her grave.

"How long must I be forced to wait again? I can no longer be so patient, not after having you tonight; the way we first were."

The only thing he heard was silence in return. It angered him.

"How long??" James demanded, turning his face up to the sky.

The weight of his fear had him collapsing to his knees, onto the grave. He laid his body among the dead flowers and grass. He cried silent tears of loneliness until their well ran dry. Then, James allowed himself to just lie in a lifeless form of stillness, matching the environment that surrounded him. The sun lightened the skies but James didn't see it. He only saw the dark tunnel and wished for light at the end of it. Conal nudged his nose to get him up but seeing no reaction, curled up on his friend's side and waited until he came back to life.

Trust in faith. Trust in us.

The voice repeated the words he had said earlier to calm Shannon enough to leave him. James stared before him to see the vision of ghostly white that appeared to be talking to him but couldn't as the face was a shadow of grey.

"What?" He asked hoarsely, feeling that even his voice was disappearing.

Trust in faith. Trust in us.

"Bring him to her. Please let me go to her through the man she will meet." He asked this being, knowing it didn't have any more power over Shannon's free will than he did.

The form turned to face the grave. It floated past the crumbling stone, melodic chants seeping from its presence. James got the sense it was showing him something and so he faced the tombstone, staring intently at its surface. A face appeared, slowly at first but came into focus and smiled back at him. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Hazel and Shannon's face, with little differences here and there, hovered together in an eerie portrait. They were smiling, assuring him of their presence.

"Shannon?" He whimpered.

Trust in faith. Trust in us.

James lowered his head and placed a hand on thick fur. Conal nudged his hand and licked it in support.

"I'm trying."

*****

Ashlynne watched in a chair as I struggled to make my way across two bars, taking some very difficult steps but doing well considering it was painful to have to move my body this much. She looked on as she covered her nose and mouth with her hands in a prayer position. It was her usual look when something was difficult to watch.

"You okay Shannon? You want to stop?" Elizabeth asked placing a comforting hand on my back.

I took a big breath and blew it out.

"No. I'm okay. It hurts but it's a good pain." I smiled.

"You've done a lot. Just so you know, we can stop anytime." She assured me.

"I'm good." I told her and turned to walk the other way.

Ashlynne bit her thumb nail and bounced her knee. James was feeling the same way, watching as I painfully made my way in the other direction.

"Please stop Shannon." Ashlynne whispered to herself.

"I fully agree." James crossed his arms and sat back against the wall. "This is slowly killing me."

Conal moaned in agreement. He paced with me as if he could break my fall if I tumbled to the floor.

Making it to my wheelchair, I sunk into it, sweaty and tired but with a full smile on my face. Ashlynne clapped and grinned. More with relief but she was also very proud at the progress I was making.

"That was amazing. God, I wish mom and dad were here to see that." She came and gave me a quick squeeze.

"Dr. Petersen said if I can get moving he'll release me from this place. I want to go home." I admitted.

"I know Shannon but don't push it. With all your writing and physiotherapy, you've been working really hard."

"I feel good Ashlynne. I feel really good. I'm fine."

"You say that now." Ashlynne answered. "Until tonight when you're asking for more pain meds."

"I've quit taking them." I answered.

Ashlynne crouched down to my level and gave me a worried look.

"Shannon, it's too soon. Did you tell mom and dad?"

"No and please don't say anything. I need a clear head and they make me high." I laughed nervously. "Please Ashlynne."

James watched our conversation and knew that I had stopped taking them for reasons he could only understand. He didn't like it either but he supported it and stood at my side to prove it.

"I have help in other ways Ashlynne. I'm getting better faster than what they thought. I can do this. I just can't do it if I have mom and dad hovering around me all the time. I want to go home. I want to start my life again and I can't do it from a hospital bed." I pleaded with my sister and she relented.

"I promise I won't say anything but you have to be honest with me about what's going on and how you're feeling emotionally and physically. That has to be the deal. Your doctors; even your psychiatrist can be fooled but I can't and you know that. Neither can mom so good luck with that."

"I promise. You'll be the first to know if something goes wrong."

"Fine." She agreed less than enthusiastically. "I'll take her back." Ashlynne offered to Elizabeth, straightening and grabbing the wheelchair.

"Alright. See you tomorrow Shannon. Good work today."

"Thanks Liz. I'll see you tomorrow after lunch."

Ashlynne pushed me out of the room while she told me the latest about Tyrone and I listened with enthusiasm. Ashlynne never talked about a man like this one and I was excited for her. I would have told her about the new relationship of mine, if I could, but I knew in my heart that the time was coming where I would be with James here and it would be obvious what we were to each other to those closest to me. I only prayed I could recognize him when he showed himself. Of course it hadn't happened yet. I was still preparing to walk through fear and confront what and who was on the other side.

As faint as they were, the shadowy form that was Conal was still apparent and James showed himself as flicks of light all around me. He promised that he wouldn't go MIA again and he would stay at my side even when I slept. Conal stopped before the door, ears alert which got James' attention. James hurried ahead of us while I looked on in concern.

"What's wrong Shannon? Why so quiet?" Ashlynne asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I suddenly got a feeling that something's wrong in my room."

"Don't be silly. No one's here. It's 9:30 in the morning."

James peered into the room and his face dropped seeing who was there. Now was not the time. Not when Shannon was doing so well. Conal walked in the room, head lowered and fur up in confrontation. He didn't go wild or snap. He only growled low and deep in warning that this person was the last person that should be visiting this room. James stood in the center of the door, desperate to stop Ashlynne from coming in but it was of no use. Of course, Ashlynne was able to walk right through and began to study the person before us with friendly interest.

"Hi. Can we help you?" Ashlynne asked.

The woman turned to greet us with a smile that was placed there because it had to be.

"I think so. Hi Shannon."

I recognized her instantly and felt no need to return the beautiful smile. My heart began to race and my stomach tossed and turned but I stayed steady. James sauntered in the room ready to confront what he couldn't but wouldn't miss being here for the world.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly.

"I was hoping to have a minute of your time." Madelyn answered. "If that's okay. I can't see you saying no."

"Who's this Shannon?" Ashlynne asked, still trying to be friendly but noticing the tension because it was suddenly hard to breath.

"No one. Umm...Ashlynne, could we have a minute?" I asked her.

"Okay. Do you want to get into bed first?"

"No. I think I'll just stay put right now." I answered uneasily.

"Sure. I'll just be out in the hall in case you need me." Ashlynne thumbed towards the door and backed away, uncertain if she should be leaving me alone with this woman.

"Great. Thanks." I replied looking at my shaking hands.

Are you sure?

I heard James' concern and took a breath, relieved he was with me.

"It's okay." I answered.

"Great then I won't beat around the bush." Madelyn replied thinking I was addressing her. She dropped her purse on the table and sat on the unmade hospital bed. "Why haven't you spoken with Grant?"

"I can't see how that's any of your business." I answered. "Why are you here? You aren't welcome here. I don't even know you."

"I'm here because I'm in love with a man who can't let go of you even though, before walking out into traffic, he had let go and was holding on to me."

I wanted to be sick with her innuendos and wiped my brow with nervous energy.

"Does Grant know you're here?" I asked.

"He doesn't and I'd like to keep it that way. This is girl talk."

"That's a great way to start a relationship. With secrecy and lies; but you already know that from experience don't you. Whether you care or not doesn't matter."

"I'm not interested in discussing the details of my relationship with Grant with you."

"Well you wanted some girl talk. Let's girl talk. Who the hell do you think you are coming in here and questioning ME on why I haven't talked to Grant? I don't owe him a fucking thing. I don't even have to talk to him if I don't want to."

"He expects it."

"I don't care what he expects. He lost all rights to his expectations of me when he had sex with you."

"So why do you keep him holding on?" Madelyn asked, keeping her cool.

"He's doing that on his own. Obviously I haven't been able to have any sort of deep conversations since I've just started to learn how to walk again."

"You can talk can't you? You're very good at it. I see no reason why you're hesitating unless you're looking to get him back; which I can tell you Shannon, will not happen."

"You can have him."

"I can't until he stops pining for you which he won't until he hears from you. He's in a bad state right now and it's not because of me."

James hated this woman. She was cold and unloving. She didn't care that she had a huge part in what had happened. She just wanted to maintain her power and control over a situation that she really couldn't. This was Grant and Shannon's relationship. It was never a threesome. James respected that. This woman, however, could not.

"What makes you think that I can't have Grant?" I asked. "What makes you think that I'm not willing to work this out? That could be why I'm waiting; to make sure about how I feel. I mean, let's be honest, We've been in each other's lives for two years and..."

"I'm pregnant Shannon." Madelyn interjected. "We're having a baby."

James nearly dropped to his knees with horror. He knew this wasn't a good idea. He had a terrible feeling and apparently so did Conal. He leapt at the woman, trying to take her by the throat but merely succeeded in passing right through her. Madelyn reacted by simply tossing her hair behind her shoulder. Seeing how Conal reacted to the news, James was grateful that Shannon didn't have a weapon on her for fear she might kill this woman. He quickly looked to Shannon but all James saw was a calm storm on her face with no emotion.

"What? You won't say anything. Not even congratulations?" Madelyn pouted.

"I'd give the kid my condolences if I could."

"That was kind of funny." Madelyn chuckled. "I don't care what you must think of me. I have a life that I would like to live. I have carved out every aspect of it but I can't live it until the memory of you is gone. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Are you threatening me?" I asked.

"God, I would never threaten anyone." She chuckled. "That is so... mobbish. I know you don't want him back so I'm asking you to end it now. Quit stringing him along so he can have happiness with me. I'm not a patient woman. I'm also in desperate need of a wedding gown that will cling to this body without making me look like a wale. Capiche?"

"Get out." I sneered. "If you decide to come back I'll have you removed before you even look at me."

"Is that so?" Madelyn chuckled.

She walked over and crouched so she could whisper in my ear.

"Thanks for ignoring him so he felt the need to come to me. Grant's an incredible lover. I only hope you know what you've so stupidly given up."

"Does he know what he's gained?" I asked, turning to look her directly in the eyes.

"I love him. That's all he needs to know. Here." Madelyn placed an envelope on my lap and stood to leave. "I hope that's enough to get the job done and keep your little mouth shut about our impending arrival. I haven't told him yet."

James and I watched as she strolled out of the hospital room. She had a presence about her that had aids and nurses pressing against walls so as not to be seen or talked to. Ashlynne watched her go then quickly walked back into the room mouthing the phrase oh my god making fists at the side of her body. James' face was red. He was furious and he would have followed her to play ghostly games but he made a promise to me to stay and he wouldn't go back on it.

"Shannon!" Ashlynne exclaimed. "That's the woman?!"

"You heard?" I asked fingering the envelope.

"Every word! Why didn't you call security or something?"

"Because I'm not worried about her. She has nothing to do with me."

Ashlynne stared at me and James stood watching my reaction. Both were surprised at my calmness.

"Shannon honey, are you okay? Why aren't you upset or crying or...anything would be better than calm." Ashlynne asked.

I agree. What's with you?

I stifled a laugh biting my lip. I handed the envelope to Ashlynne.

"Here."

"What's this?" Ashlynne opened the envelope and took out a cheque. Her eyes went wide. James looked over her shoulder and ran his hands through his hair when he saw what Ashlynne was staring at. This was just getting better and better.

"It's payment. It's yours but you have to do something for me."

"Shannon, this is twenty thousand dollars." Ashlynne laughed nervously.

"So?"

"So, why are you handing me twenty thousand dollars?"

"I need a favor."

"Spill." Ashlynne couldn't keep her eyes off the money but listened intently anyway.

"I need you to sneak me out of the hospital tomorrow. I need to see Grant."

Ashlynne felt the fur of a wolf and the hand of a man that was beside her. She knew of James and she knew of Conal so realizing they were both here, she took a moment to focus on them and what they were asking her to do as well, then nodded.

"I think something can be arranged." She said, pocketing the cheque. "Leave it to me."

*****

"No! Absolutely not Shannon! I'll not have you go in there by yourself." James unbuttoned his shirt and tore it off in frustration. "No."

"You don't have a say in this James! This is what I'm supposed to do. I'm ready, especially after that woman came to me today. She paid me off for Christ's sake!"

"I was there. I saw her." He answered turning down the bed. "The answer's still no."

"She's pregnant! No doubt she planned it and he had no clue."

"So what. He deserves it."

"This isn't about what he deserves James. This is about finishing this but I want privacy."

"We've shared everything..."

"I didn't know we were. Technically, you were a spy."

James took a pillow and began to squish it as one would play with a stress ball. He narrowed his eyes at me giving me a warning. It didn't matter. I wasn't fazed.

"Unfair play Shannon Donnelly."

"You can't protect me anyway. You said Conal tried to kill her. He couldn't. What are you going to do? Toss books to the floor?"

"I do what I can!"

"Let me do what I'm here to do. I know what's beyond that wall. It's Grant. It's Madelyn. I can handle it!"

"I have just as much a right to cross that wall and you know it. I'm crossing it with you."

"And you think we'll end up in the same place. My block is Grant. Yours is completely different and you know it."

"We have discussed this. He murdered Hazel! He killed her!"

"I'm her and I'm standing right in front of you! Alive!"

James threw the pillow on the bed and walked away. I followed closely, needing this to end. I was only here for another night and tomorrow it would be a new world for me; one that I couldn't imagine just yet.

"What's my wall then? Tell me what it is." James demanded.

"Letting me go."

"I can't do that."

"Yes you can. You have to."

"I don't have to do anything."

"James!" I pleaded. "The last thing I want is to let you go; to stop coming here but I have realized that is the only way towards you. It's strange and it doesn't make sense but that's the truth."

He stood in the middle of the living room, hands on his hips, just as scared as I was as to what would happen when the sun came up.

"I can't let you go." He repeated more softly. "Not alone. I've always been with you; for everything. Conal's been with you. We can't just leave you to battle this one, especially when you're still recovering. It doesn't work that way."

"It has to." I persisted.

"The pull of you is very strong for us. Here, you're fine. I get that. There...it's a different story."

"Are you worried I'll be sucked back?"

"No..." He tried to lie but it wasn't convincing.

"For God's sake, that's exactly what you're thinking!"

I stomped back into the bedroom, feeling offended that James didn't trust me or that I could handle myself. I thought I did very well with Madelyn and her announcement. Grant couldn't be that much harder.

"Look at it from my perspective okay! Just walk in my shoes for five minutes!" James called from where he stayed. "I've been watching for months now. You've not been entirely steadfast in your decision to end things."

Deciding not to answer, I pulled back my side of the bed and fell into it, hiding under the feather duvet deciding that it would be better to fall asleep than engage in this argument anymore.

"Shannon?" James waited to hear my reply.

Conal trotted back into the bedroom and jumped up on the bed, pawing at my head under the blanket. He took it in his teeth to pull it back while I played tug-of-war trying to keep in in place.

"Conal!" I hollered at him. "Stop it!"

He simply growled back.

James watched from the doorway, smiling at the wolf's efforts. It worked. I gave up. James swatted him off the bed as I pulled myself up and leaned my head against the headboard. James straddled my legs and smoothed my hair.

"You don't trust me so you must not know how I'm truly feeling for you even though you supposedly live there." I said softly.

"I trust you." He answered. "I don't trust Grant."

"There's nothing you or Conal can do when I see him. Stop acting like there could be. I want to do this on my own. I want to show you how far you've brought me. I'm the happiest and most relaxed I have been in a long time and it's because of you."

Conal barked loudly to announce he could still hear us. We laughed at him and I looked at him apologetically.

"You too Conal. Of course."

Annoyed, he left the room.

James groaned and rolled to the side.

"Alright. You win. I promise I won't interfere. I won't cross the nothing. I don't want to fight with you tonight."

"Thank you." I curled up next to him.

"That doesn't mean that I won't watch from a distance."

I giggled as I placed a kiss on his chest. Conal barked sharply in happiness at a noise that came from outside. James and I sat up wondering what it was when we heard someone enter the home. Footsteps quickly walked towards the bedroom; Conal allowing them passage.

"In bed already? Don't be silly." Mrs. Dickson poked her head in the room, making James bolt from the bed to grab a shirt.

"Jesus woman! What the hell are you doing in my house?!"

"There's a party. Did you not get the invite?" She winked.

"No!" James exclaimed.

"Well, you two are the guests of honor. Come on now." She waved us out of bed and left the room.

James tossed his shirt back on and I followed him out of the bedroom. We looked out the window to a carnival, minus the rides. Alexander was on the porch, smoking a pipe and enjoying the company that was around him. He looked well. He still carried an air of exhaustion but he was happy.

"They're all crazy." James muttered.

"No, not crazy. Just relieved. Come on." I smiled pulling on his arm.

Alexander stood when he saw me and came to give me a hug.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"Well we couldn't let you go without a proper farewell now could we?"

I let go and looked around at the spectacle before me. I had never had such an event in my honor and I was humbled.

"It's for me?"

"Well, not completely. You did have some help." Alexander glanced at James who wasn't paying attention to anything but all the people who now knew about his secret home. He wasn't impressed.

"James." I hinted elbowing him in the side.

"Ow! What?"

"It's not only for me. It's for you too."

"For me?" James asked. "Why?"

Alexander stood beside him and gestured to the crowd that was enjoying themselves immensely.

"I think your efforts have been noticed. I believe they know who you are now. It's a pity you didn't show your true colors before. We could have used a party."

"Hilarious." James answered sarcastically

"Am I wrong?" Alexander asked.

James was hesitant but smirked anyway. He watched as firecrackers went off in the sky and heard the cheers as they exploded.

"The rats wouldn't have caused any real damage you know. They only nibble at the ankles if they can get to them fast enough."

"James!" I was horrified with what he had just admitted.

"I knew it." Alexander sighed. "Rumor my ass."

"Meh." James shrugged. "A man needs a little fun once in a while."

I slapped my forehead and groaned in frustration. I had given James the benefit of the doubt which proved wrong; so very wrong. James smelled the air and patted his stomach.

"Smells great. Shannon, would you care for a snack?"

"I don't know. Is it stolen?" I asked.

"Not by me. This time anyway." James walked off in the direction of the scents. Alexander only chuckled in response following him to the food.

"I'll miss him." Alexander laughed.

"What do you mean?" I asked watching him go.

"He was never meant to stay here." Alexander glanced back at me with a twinkle in his eye.

For a split second, excitement filled my spirit. It lasted only for a moment and I didn't want to read in to anything but I couldn't help it. If James was never meant to stay here then where was he supposed to end up? With me? In my world? In the flesh? Alexander didn't have to say anything else to have my mind jump to hundreds of conclusions, all of which were happy endings. I smiled in hope that this hint of what was to come would arrive sooner than later.

"Shannon?"

Turning to the voice I was elated to see his face again. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye and I squished him in a hug. To any observer, I may have been able to break him in two. Mr. McGinty patted my back gently in return.

"Mr. McGinty! I'm so happy you're here!" I exclaimed. "I felt awful I didn't see you that day, before you left."

"I've been watching your journey. We all have. I can't tell you how pleased we are. You're a different person."

"I'm not different; only happier. I'm relieved at the outcome. You all are so important to me I just couldn't bear to lose you. You're my family."

Mr. McGinty smiled politely and then furrowed his brow in concern.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Well, I was only curious, you see..."

"Come on Mr. McGinty, it can't be that bad." I urged.

"I was only hoping you could write a wedding."

"A wedding?"

His eyes stared at me with a happy pleading that I couldn't ignore. I knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"You mean Mrs. Dickson?"

"I love her. I know we could wed at any time but it would mean the world to me if you could share it. It would be an honor."

I grinned at his shyness and didn't have the heart to say no. I was, after all, joining these lands through James. Why couldn't it be by a marriage as well? I chewed on the request, making him wait, in earnest, for an answer. I could tell he was edge. He had been waiting to ask this since the day I had arrived. There was just never a good enough opportunity.

"I'll see what I can do." I finally said. "I just may have something up my sleeve already. Thanks for the idea."

"Splendid. Wonderful. You've made my day Shannon Donnelly. Thank you."

I replied by simply hugging him around the shoulders and welcoming others into our conversation. Apparently they all had very good story ideas for books. I politely listened as one by one, those that had the nerve, proposed books about themselves. It seemed Mr. McGinty wasn't the only one looking to be the center of attention.

*****

James watched as Shannon visited with those whose lives she touched. He mingled here and there, when the moment arose, with those that could stand him. He found these people much friendlier tonight but now he wanted to eat. Lifting a chicken leg to his mouth, he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. Regretting another interruption, James turned to see who was there.

"Ellie, how are you?" James asked, guarded and looking around for her father. "Where's Gerald."

"Over there. He's speaking with Carlos." Eleanor pointed to the right of them where Carlos was laughing loudly, slapping the back of Gerald Fennig, who was trying to keep his spectacles from slipping off his face and a plate of food falling to the floor.

"I didn't realize they got along." James told her. "Is this wee James? How is the boy?" James tousled the child's hair and got a smile in return.

"It's Jimmy actually. I changed it." Eleanor admitted, uncomfortably.

"It's much better; suits him very well."

Eleanor was nervous but she simply had to get this out of her. She was living with so much guilt and although she and Graham couldn't make amends, she would make the effort with James.

"I wanted to apologize to you James. I don't know what got into me. I'm so sorry I dragged you into my mess of a life." She told him quickly, shifting Jimmy to her other hip.

"Mess of a life? Ellie, look at your boy. If anything, he's made it better."

"I suppose." She answered nuzzling Jimmy's cheek.

"No harm done. Honestly, it's fine. I'm sorry for leading you on the way I did. It wasn't fair." James returned the apology with all the sincerity he could muster on an empty stomach.

"Carlos has asked for my hand."

"Sorry?" James leaned into her thinking he hadn't heard her correctly.

"Carlos. He's asked to marry me. My father hasn't given him an answer yet."

"And you?" James inquired. "It's Carlos. Quite frankly, you could do better."

"Yes." She shrugged then smiled shyly. "I quite like him though. Father said maybe in a year we can move. Jimmy's already taken a liking to him. We've traveled to his lands with mother and Carlos took Jimmy into the waters to teach him to swim."

"Is that so? Well then, the man can't be all bad can he." James commented trying to be supportive. "I wish you all the best Eleanor."

"Thank you." She smiled at her son and bounced him up and down. "Say bye." Eleanor urged him.

Jimmy waved at James shyly while resting his head on his mother's shoulder. James couldn't help but smile and, taking the boys hand, kissed it.

"Bye now. Be good for your mother Jimmy."

"Bye James."

"Good bye Ellie."

James took a last look at Carlos and Gerald then, shaking his head, continued to eat his meal, now cold but still very tasty.

"Excuse me! Everyone! I'd like to say a few words!" Alexander called.

Those that heard him crowded around. Not everyone did and there were shouts and whistles to get everyone's attention. I stood by the porch railing, wondering what was going on. James stayed where he was as he was only used to listening in on these meetings in the background. It was his way.

"Please, gather 'round. Don't be shy."

Those that were in the back crowded in even closer. Alexander saw me and waved me in.

"Where's James?" He asked.

People shook their heads, unable to see him. Finally Carlos located him and pointed him out.

"He is here Alexander." Carlos steered James to the front of the crowd.

"Please James. Stand with me." Alexander asked.

James shook Carlos off and tried to give him a friendly look but he felt it coming off as a truly bothered expression. The last person he wanted touching him was Carlos. He went to Alexander's side and I stayed on the other, having no clue what this man would say about anything. He didn't have to. These citizens of fiction now knew what was happening and that it was almost over.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your fun but there are two people who need to be recognized tonight. They are the reason we come together in celebration instead of unease. First to James..."

Compared to all the sighs, moans and groans that usually followed an introduction of him, James got hoots and hollers and a small amount of applause. It was hard not to appreciate it even though some hard feelings continued to linger over these people who were never accepting of him in the first place.

"We want to thank you James. Bringing Shannon here proved to be the best solution to such a dark problem; not only for us but for you as well." Alexander studied James and bowed his head in respectful appreciation. "Thank you for insisting on fighting this battle for us, you being the only one that could. We owe you our continued existence and we want to officially welcome you to these lands that are now being joined by your spirit. For you James, is what binds us all. You are the link; the heart of these worlds."

As Alexander spoke, James could feel the division of these people dissipate. Their energies combined into one and even though darkness had fallen, the border of forests that separated all those present in these worlds was shrinking in size. They could all sense it and gazed around, recognizing each other with new eyes as friends and family that had always lived as one but didn't realize it until one man could bring them together. Alexander had tried for years and he was assumed to be the one to do it. No one expected it to be James. Neither did he but it was happening. James wasn't doing it on purpose, he was only being himself. Who knew that's all it took.

"And to Shannon." Alexander turned to me with a soft face. "You did it girl. You've faced that which you didn't want to see. At some point in one's life, we all have walls that need torn down. Yours, unfortunately, took up residence in your heart. Tomorrow is a day of renewal. Tomorrow is a day the battle will be won. You've prepared well and your army is at your side and will be all the way. We will go together. We will stand with you as you walk through nothing towards something new. You are never alone and I know you will go forward with that knowledge. You are never alone Shannon."

Some dabbed at their eyes, some murmured in agreement. I looked around me; at all the faces that were brought to life with my words. It was surreal that I was standing with them, as one of them, and I couldn't believe that I had never realized before that they were always there, in the background, urging me on and waiting anxiously for what I would bring to them. Everything dreamed did exist, even if we couldn't see it but I was given the privilege and honor to live it. This is what gave me strength and I would not let them down.

"Thank you." I addressed them all, feeling the emotion of the moment. "Thank you so much. Thank you for your hospitality and your encouraging words. Thank you for taking what I tried to give you and living it to your full potential. I'm so sorry about what you've been through but I can stand here and tell you that it's over. You won't have to live in fear anymore. Tomorrow it will all be a happy ending. I know what I have to do and with all of you by my side, it'll be easy."

As they cheered and I pasted a smile on my face, I could feel a nag of doubt. James felt it too and stared in my direction, ignoring the applause. I returned his stare, feeling the crowd disappear into the background. It was only him and I and this doubt had nothing to do with Grant but everything to do with us. We needed to believe we could be found; a belief that was spread over the distance of the earth which made it difficult to trust in. I hated to admit it but James was my needle in a haystack. A very large haystack.

*****

The line of people stretched for what appeared to be miles. Some were on horses or donkeys; some were giving others a lift on wagons. Parents held children in their arms or gave rides on their shoulders because the children were having trouble walking so far. As we traveled well into the afternoon the terrain became more uphill than straight, making this road seem longer than it should have been. Alexander led the procession followed by James and I. Conal stayed at my side and walked slowly, making contact with my hand every once in a while. He was very clingy since the clock stroked twelve. I usually didn't like animals to be hanging around so much but I didn't mind it this time. In fact, I insisted and stroked Conal's thick fur frequently just to let him know I was feeling the same way. There wasn't a lot of conversation on this journey towards Alexander's home. The silence was welcomed. I wasn't really in the mood for talking.

As the dark wall edged closer, so did the uneasiness of those that hadn't been this close. I held my head high, watching it as it stayed in place. It hadn't moved from Alexander's back door. That was predicted. It wasn't about to walk away from a fight but I convinced myself that it was a very one sided battle. Nothing Grant could say would ever make me consider rekindling any sort of relationship. That fact was reinforced with James' admission about the continued affair and the visit from Madelyn. I didn't want any part of this soap opera. I had been living it for far too long.

"It's lighter." I offered to my companions.

"Still heavy though." James answered, undoing his collar, finding it hard to breathe.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"I will be." He reassured me.

I switched my concern to Alexander. He was leaning heavily on his walking stick. He wasn't the only one struggling through strength. The animals that were carrying some of the people were now walking very slowly, head lowered in effort. Women were pale, men were sweating, but yet they all kept walking forward. I wrote them a life and so, they would fight to keep it but this supposed war was breaking them down.

Children began to cry, feeling uncomfortable. With what strength the parents could muster they tried to sooth them as best they could. The children didn't ask to be taken here and didn't understand why their tiny bodies were feeling so uncomfortable. Little Jimmy's cheeks were bright red and Eleanor patted his back in quiet frustration as she was not able to pacify him.

I saw Carlos a few feet behind. I wrote him to be a large, well-muscled and strong man. His face gave away that he couldn't be that right now. Every step he took made him wince and every once in a while he stopped to catch his breath. Mr. McGinty and Mrs. Dickson took a moment to pause on a hillside. Mr. McGinty shared his flask with her and she took a large gulp trying to refresh herself for the rest of this journey.

My whole army was crumbling yet willing to go the whole distance. I couldn't let this happen. I could not walk towards this thing and let them suffer for it. I wasn't feeling anything except nerves but these people were feeling the effects of a disease that hung in the air, refusing to back off and finding any way to enter their bodies to weaken them. Panic rose in my stomach making Conal's aggression come out. I stopped and shook my head rapidly towards James.

"I can't do this." I told him.

"What?! Shannon, we've come all this way. What do you mean you can't do this?"

Alexander turned, hearing what we were saying. He didn't like it.

"Shannon?" He asked.

"No, I don't mean I can't cross it. I mean I can't lead these people anymore. They can't come with me. Look all around you. It's obvious this is too painful; even for you." I took James' hand and held it close to my chest. "You need to stay back."

"I'm fine." James answered trying to look convincing. "I'm going with you."

"James, she's right." Alexander cut in. "We can't continue this."

"I'm going with her! Look, your intentions to join her were very noble. I can understand that you can't continue the journey. I must! There are things I need to confront as well."

"Through me James. It's always been through me. Look at you! You can barely stand." I begged. "You need to let me go, here, in this spot. It has to be now."

"I won't do it." He refused.

"You will. Let me go."

Alexander stepped away from us and went to address the crowd. I pulled James away to give us some privacy. He was in emotional pieces. I could feel it. I had only known James to be the strong half of me. Right now, he was showing a much weaker side and I knew it had nothing to do with the brink I was about to cross and everything to do with a future that was wrapped in uncertainty.

James grasped at all of me. He felt my hair and my face; shoulders and arms. He choked on a sob after seeing the deep frown on my face. He finally took both my hands and kissed them hard, letting himself cry and be as vulnerable as I was.

"I can't believe this is it." He said helplessly.

"It's not it." I shook my head. "I'm only making room for you."

"I'll find you. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to find you. It will be me you see."

"I know." I smiled through my tears. "We're meant to be. I know you'll find me and I won't stop searching for you. I'll race you to our finish line but if you get there first, wait for me."

James chuckled finding the humor and accepting the challenge.

"I'll wait for no other."

"I'm sorry we can't cross it together but I can't risk it. Please understand. I'm not doing this to hurt you but to save you. I'm feeling your weakness so if you stayed back it'll give me the extra strength I need."

"Take Conal." James offered, desperate for one of them to be with me.

"No." I answered quietly.

I bent to bury my face in Conal's fur. He stood, unfaltering with my weight and pressed his face closer to me. I squished his face as I always did and kissed his head.

"I will never forget what you are to me. I'll listen to you always." I told him

Conal's whimpers broke my heart that little bit more. I never heard him cry and coming from such a large beast, it wasn't an easy thing to hear. James couldn't watch his partner in so much agony so turned away until we were done. I hugged the fury body again then stood to go.

"I have to go or I won't." I admitted. "Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for saving theirs." I gestured to the crowed who were watching me intently, willing me to walk down the hill towards Alexander's house. "We'll see each other soon James. I have faith."

James cried and I hugged him close. We held onto each other tightly and stood there as everyone else urged me to let him go and finish this. Surprisingly he was the first to do so and with one last gentle kiss he turned and walked away. He walked past the crowd, past Alexander, never looking back at me and so I did the same thing. Conal joined me for only a few more steps then sat in one spot while I continued down the hill.

It was there. A wall of nothing. A black hole that had teased me for months. Now, as I walked closer, I saw that it was more of a veil. Ignoring the pain of my heart that was James and the nauseous feeling in my gut that was Conal, I studied it with curiosity and confusion. Before it was blacker than anything I had ever seen. Now it was a dark grey and thinning. I could almost make out pictures on the other side of it.

I'd like to see you try...

It was Grant's voice. He was definitely here in some form. Squinting, I tried to see through the cloud. Although it was still very thick, I did catch images on the other side. They were memories. Good memories. I saw when we had first met; I saw our first night together. I saw rainy nights and winter snow; summer sun and walks through leaves. I saw holidays and stupid little milestones that I thought were pivotal in a relationship but now learned they were all lies. These were the moments that I had lived for. These were the moments that I assumed were truth but almost laughed knowing now they were not.

"This isn't working. Your attempt at reaching into my heart is pitiful because there is someone else there and he will never leave."

In answer to my change of heart it grew blacker and more ominous. I could feel as it tried to push me away and start to move again. I fought back, standing my ground and managing a step closer towards it.

"It's over!" I yelled at it. "I'm ready to start again."

I'd like to see you try...

"Watch me you son of a bitch. Try and stop me."

I was immediately challenged in a wrestling match. It tried to overwhelm me with all kinds of emotions; sadness, regret, fear, unanswered questions and possibly a change of heart to answer them. The call of my wolf entered my ears and flowed throughout my whole body as I struggled with this powerful force. It was like adrenaline being injected into my veins and I stepped one foot into its void. All of a sudden, it didn't seem so hard. All of a sudden stepping into the unknown was pretty thrilling and with one last burst of dominance I pressed myself through.

I was gone.

"Hey lady. You've missed two lights. Are you okay?"

I woke to the sounds of traffic. The downtown core bustled around me and I found myself on a street corner, bound to a wheel chair and waiting for a light to change.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"Can I help you across the street? You look a little lost." He asked.

He wasn't a city worker but a young man with a back pack on his back and sneakers that weren't done up properly. I watched around me to make sure of where I was.

"I think I was for a while." I answered softly.

"Do you need me to call someone or..."

I raised my hand to stop him and shook my head.

"No. I'm okay now. Thanks for asking. I'm good."

"Okay. If you say so." He shrugged then took off in another direction.

"I say so." I replied staring after him.

The light turned in my favor and without another moment of hesitation I crossed the starting gate. The gun had sounded and I was off. This moment was only a hurdle in the middle of a race toward my finish line and my reward would be James.

*****

It was hot and stifling in the car but the two people who were sitting in it didn't notice. They were only focused on a woman, waiting on a street corner, that was trying to convince herself to cross to the other side. Strangers came to ask if she needed assistance and she would only shake her head in reply. At least Ashlynne had got her into some decent clothing. The hospital gown would have given someone the idea that she had run from the hospital and the police were the last thing they all needed right now.

Shannon had asked Ashlynne the night before if she would help her look better than a recovering body. Ashlynne did her best but since Shannon didn't wear a lot of makeup, it was tough to convince her she needed just a little more than usual. When the nurse helped Ashlynne get the yoga pants on her sister, it helped that little bit more but Shannon still looked like she needed more rest.

It was a pain in the ass to convince their parents not to come to the hospital right away. It was a Saturday and that was the day that Malcolm and Heather usually spent the day. It was a blessing that it was their anniversary on the Monday so, on a spur of the moment whim, Ashlynne booked a morning at the spa for a couple's massage and a lunch at their favorite restaurant but that was almost over. It took forever to sneak Shannon out of the hospital which just made Tyrone and herself that much more jumpy.

"What's she doing Ashlynne? Come on. She's just sitting there. I knew this was a bad idea. As soon as I saw her at the hospital I knew this was a very bad idea." Tyrone just watched as Shannon continued to sit on the corner.

"Could you stop? Please? I'm already on edge about this." Ashlynne argued watching the woman in the wheelchair as well.

"Why would you take her out of the hospital to do something like this?"

"I couldn't say no. What was I supposed to do?" Ashlynne answered, exasperated.

"Get Grant to get his ass to the hospital. Shit. Shannon wasn't herself today. She barely knew we were there. Your dad is going to kill me!"

"I know I know." Ashlynne covered her eyes in regret. "This is where it all happened. It's like she wants to relive that day all over again except have it end differently."

"Well she better get a move on Ashlynne because this massage and lunch you sent you parents on is over in an hour. They will be at the hospital in an hour!"

"Ssshhh. Let me think!" She snapped back at him.

Tyrone and Ashlynne continued to panic behind the wheel of his truck while watching the light turn again.

"I can't take this anymore. Go get her." Tyrone demanded.

"I can't go and get her. I promised." Ashlynne cried. She turned her attention back to the corner then saw the slow movement of a wheelchair. "She's moving. Thank God. She's crossing the street."

"That's it. We'll wait outside the building. I can't sit here anymore." Tyrone got out of the truck and slammed the door. "This is insane. You sisters are insane."

Ashlynne jumped out of the truck and met him on the sidewalk.

"Something's going on with her. I agree with you but, honey, she needs to do this. I trust her. You don't know her like I do. She'll be fine. She'll say good bye or fuck off and then be back here right away."

"She's acting like she's hypnotized or something. You told me she wasn't taking the pain killers."

"She's not and look, she seems okay now." Ashlynne pointed to the woman in question, who was smiling and chatting to a person walking out of the building. "She must have known them before because they're talking up a storm."

"We don't have time for her to be making idle chit chat!"

"Tyrone, calm down. It's okay. She's inside and she's on her way. Let's go to the lobby to wait."

"Fine. We'll go to the lobby." Tyrone agreed. "You owe me." He pointed to her for effect.

"I'm sorry. I needed a truck. I couldn't fit her in my car." Ashlynne quickly kissed his cheek and stroked his arm. "Thank you."

Tyrone softened then took Ashlynne's hand in his.

"Your sister's important to you. I get it. That means she's important to me but this is a very stupid idea."

"I'm important to you?" Ashlynne smiled shyly, ignoring his jab at insult.

"Yeah Ashlynne. Of course. I love you."

It was the first time Ashlynne heard those words from him and it made her giddy because she was feeling the exact same way. It wasn't even scary to her. It should have been, knowing her track record with men, but it was actually very calming.

"I love you too Tyrone."

"Yeah?" He smiled proudly.

"Yeah." Ashlynne nodded slowly.

"You want to kiss it out?" He asked.

Ashlynne laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Forgetting, for a minute, what was really going on, they let themselves seal the deal with a tender kiss as the people on the streets passed by not caring about their new found love. Tyrone pulled away and looked towards the condo building that Shannon had entered.

"Okay, enough of this. Sorry but I have your sister to look after. Come on." Tyrone pulled Ashlynne towards the cross walk. "Later we'll make up for lost time."

"I'm up for that." Ashlynne replied following Tyrone towards Grant's opulent abode.

*****

I was grateful for the help into the building. Fully expecting to have to buzz up, someone had opened the door for me just in time and it was better that I could just go to his door and knock. I didn't want to give him much notice. I just wanted to be done with this as soon as possible. My nerves weren't due to the fact that I was about to confront Grant. It was more the fact that Ashlynne and Tyrone were so jumpy about breaking me out of the hospital. I didn't know what the big deal was. I would be returning. If my parents beat us back the excuse would be we went for a walk and a coffee across the street. Malcolm and Heather Donnelly didn't have to know I was doing this. If they did know they would have forbidden it and I just wanted to get on with my life.

It was tricky to maneuver into the elevator but after the door closed onto the chair a couple times, I finally got it and stretched my body to hit the number eight on the panel of numbers. It lit up and took me there quickly. Rolling out of the large steel cage was much easier and I stopped in the middle of the hall to take a moment and prepare. I was ready but I didn't know if he would be and I couldn't guess his reaction to having this difficult conversation. I wasn't exactly in any position to storm out on him in a dramatic womanly rage.

I slowly rolled towards the end of the hall. I knew he took Saturdays to sleep in. Quite frankly, I hadn't called to see if he was even staying at his own place or if he would have company at the moment. If Madelyn was there I hoped that she would give us some sort of privacy. This wasn't any of her business even though she assumed it was.

Reaching out to knock on the door, I knocked as forcefully as I could and waited patiently until I heard footsteps. There was only one pair which was the best thing I had heard all day. The door swung open and a man in sweat pants and undershirt opened it up, only looking around above me. I simply cleared my throat to grab his attention below. He was never one to notice anything that wasn't at his level. When he saw me he grasped the door tightly, steadying himself.

"Shannon?" He asked, having trouble believing it was me.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood." I answered in an even tone.

Grant stood at the door in silent surprise, taking me all in and trying not to crumble.

"We can do this out here if you want." I told him. "But I would assume you don't want the neighbors hearing anything."

"Oh, right. Sorry. I'm just a little surprised. Come in." He held the door open and moved out of my way. "Here, do you need help?"

"No, I'm okay. I'm getting the hang of this thing."

As I squeezed myself in, he shut the door and watched as I rolled down the hall. He couldn't believe I was here.

"Are you alone?" I asked parking myself in the living room.

"Yes. I am alone."

"Good."

"Can I get you anything? I have a pot of coffee on."

"No, I can't stay long. Ashlynne snuck me out of the hospital so I need to get back."

"This could have waited." Grant said. "Until you were better."

"I guess it could have but this was supposed to happen a while ago so..."

I was starting to get irritated by him standing over me. It made me feel smaller than what I was and I sighed in frustration.

"Could you sit please? I'd like to be on equal footing with you here." I told him.

"Sure."

Grant pulled a chair from the dining room and set it before me. He waited patiently, not knowing if he should start or let me.

"What do you want to know?" He finally asked.

"I don't want to know anything. Here, these are yours. I left some things in your closet. I'd appreciate it if you could get them for me."

"That's it. You want your things from the closet. That's what you came to say to me?"

"What would you like to hear Grant? Give me some idea as to what you want to hear. Do you need me to sooth your guilt or do you need me to make this my fault? I can do both but it wouldn't be coming from a good place so be careful what you wish for."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Which part? Me catching you and nearly killing myself, or before that when you were actually fucking her."

"Jesus Christ Shannon! Don't..."

"Don't what?"

"I don't want to hear that."

"It's the truth. So what was it? I need to know. Which part did you not mean to happen?"

"None of it. It just...it happened. I was feeling so lonely and neglected for stupid reasons. Malcolm took up your time and this whole writer's block thing. I tried to be supportive but it just got too..."

"Real? Too much me and not enough you? I was constantly there for you Grant. When you let me. When did you stop needing me and when were you going to tell me."

"I never stopped needing you. I need you now. I am sick that I might have lost you."

"You have lost me. That isn't a question. It's the real deal. I thought I could work it out you know. I thought we could fix it and we could be better than before but then I heard you were still with her. You were still with her when I was unconscious Grant! How could you?!"

Grant looked at me with question in his eyes.

"How did you know that?"

"Were you going to lie about that as well? Pretend that you weren't? That is was a one-time thing?"

"Madelyn and I...we're the same."

"So that's your big excuse. You're the same? Can you get my things please?"

"No! I will not get your things!"

"Fine. Keep them. I just needed to say we're over in person so there was never a doubt in your mind." I started to wheel to the front door but Grant stood to block my way.

"Shannon stop."

"What?!"

"I love you. Don't leave like this. We can fix this. I am a mess knowing how badly I've screwed up. And it wasn't just the affair. It's been months of me ignoring you. I get that and I know I can change. I can be that man that you first met two years ago. I made partner. We can have the life we talked about."

"Yes, I heard you the first time you told me" I sneered.

"You heard me?"

"I heard everything. I'm not here to listen to it again."

"Don't go." Grant kneeled beside the wheelchair. "Please don't go like this. I can't sit here knowing I'll never see you again. I'll never touch you again. Please Shannon. This is killing me."

"You made your choice even before I was put in this chair. I'm not what you want."

"Yes! Yes you are. Madelyn is not what I want."

"Then why are you still with her? I can't compete with her, nor do I want to. I'm making this very easy for you."

Grant groaned and sunk back in his chair. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

"I don't know." He sighed. "I don't know what I feel for her. It's nothing like what I feel for you."

"You feel guilt about me. That's it. You'll get over it. I'm fine. I'm getting stronger every day. I have a ton of support. When it comes to you and Madelyn; you guys are a train wreck. You're perfect for each other."

"Please don't go. Okay? I'll take you back to the hospital. I'll stay with you, get whatever you need. Call Ashlynne and let her know you're staying."

"I can't do that Grant!"

"Yes you can. We're better than this!"

"I used to think so." I answered quietly

Grant's chin wavered and shook. He looked away with tears in his eyes.

"I can't believe how badly I fucked up." He chuckled through his tears. "I can't believe what I've done to the one person who I could only call my better half."

"Please, don't talk like that. I can't hear it."

"Why?"

"Because these are things you should have told me before I caught you cheating Grant!! You never told me how much you loved me. You never told me how much I meant to you! It was always this big unanswered question."

"Why did you never ask me?!"

"Because you wouldn't have answered the way you just did and you know it! Remember when I came to you at your office? I tried to talk to you and I wasn't important to you. Madelyn was. It's only when you realized what you had after the fact that you can finally tell me? I have moved on from this. I need to concentrate on getting my life back together. I'm so close but that means you have to stay away."

"For how long?" Grant asked.

"Until there comes a day where I can look at you and not see her. Until I can look at you and forget that I love you so much that seeing you with her nearly took my life. My heart shattered and I walked in front of a truck so you owe me that. You owe me a clean slate."

"I love you!" He shouted at me, trying to convince me of that sad fact.

"I know." I answered softly. "Now I know."

"Is it enough?" He asked.

"It's not." I confirmed. "Maybe weeks ago it would have been but not anymore."

Grant sat back and rubbed his nose.

"So this is it?"

"Yeah. This is it." I replied. "I have to go. If I'm not back soon they'll send a search party."

Grant only stared at me with the saddest face I had ever seen on a man. It tugged at my heart but I immediately shook it off. Another face came to mind that was opposite of sad. His was a face of courage and commitment. It was a face with a mischievous twinkle and a comforting gaze. His were the eyes that were filled with unconditional love and I held on to the memory of him. I saw him at that moment, as he stood against a wooded backdrop. I saw him standing with a wolf at his side. He watched over me from a far, giving me the space I needed, yet lingering in the background in case I called. He couldn't come to my side like he had but he would be with me always in the form of truth, integrity and love. I watched him as he turned away; walking back into the forest and throwing a stick for his friend. I watched him as he disappeared behind some trees and caught a glimpse of his back as he travelled over a hill. And then he was gone. A tear fell onto my hand and I quickly wiped it away because it was not for Grant. It was for James and it was happy tears because I could feel how proud he was to be a small part in such a huge victory.

Grant stood and put his chair back. He grabbed a bag from a cupboard and went to the bedroom to pack my belongings. It wasn't much and he would have preferred to keep the few remembrances for comfort but knew that it wasn't possible. We were over and any remnant of that needed to be purged. He slowly walked out of the room, extending the bag down to me.

"Here." He said as he put it on my lap.

"Thanks." I answered.

"Let me help you to the door."

"That'd be great."

He wheeled me to the front door and opened it. He continued down the hall and pressed the elevator button for me.

"I wish you well." I told him. "I honestly do."

"Thanks." He replied, barely able to look into my face.

"Congratulations on making partner. I know that was important to you."

"In retrospect, there were other things that should have been more of a priority."

The elevator opened and he helped me inside. He held the door open as he looked at me one last time. He couldn't help himself and bent to kiss the top of my head.

"Bye Shannon. Good luck."

"Thanks. Good luck to you." I teased as he pushed me into the elevator and pressed M.

"Why?" He asked, unsure of the way I spoke the words.

"Oh nothing. Congratulations on the baby."

As the doors closed I could see Grant's face drop. The last words I heard made me grin with pleasure.

"My what now?"

*****

"Where the hell have you been?!" Heather demanded.

"Oh God." Tyrone squeaked. "I'm dead."

Ashlynne's face went white with shock as she wheeled me into my room. Tyrone was beside her but quickly turned to walk out. Heather caught him and wouldn't let him go.

"Don't you dare leave this room, Tyrone. You are in just as much trouble as these two."

"Mom..." Ashlynne started.

"Stop!" Heather seethed. "We have been waiting here for over an hour. Instead of going to the restaurant ourselves we were going to see if we could eat as a family. You have been gone for over an hour."

Ashlynne looked at her dad and he simply threw his hands up in the air. He was smarter than to interrupt his wife at a time like this.

"Answer me now Ashlynne Tara and Shannon Hazel!"

"We were having coffee across the street." I answered.

Heather narrowed her eyes and studied both of her daughters. Tyrone stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying not to make eye contact with the angry beast that was his potential mother-in-law.

"I want the truth right now." Heather said addressing me. "And I want to know who's idea it was to sneak out of this hospital for close to two hours with no word to your mother and father who have been worried sick about you since you landed in this building."

"Shannon..." Ashlynne started but I tugged at her clothes and shook my head.

"It's my fault. I'll confess."

"Are you sure?" Ashlynne asked. "It looks to me like you could use a little tag-teaming."

"Yeah." I assured her. "Mom. Dad. I paid Ashlynne off to sneak me out of the hospital."

"You did what?" Malcolm asked. "You paid Ashlynne off to take you from these grounds when you're barely able to hold yourself up on your two feet. Where is your head girl?!"

"I had to go and take care of something." I answered. "I couldn't wait any more."

"What could be so important?! More important than your health?" Heather demanded.

"I'm fine. I'm alive. It's the bones that are keeping me in that bed." I pointed to it, hating that I would soon be in it. "I'm allowed fresh air."

"At the hospital!" Heather interjected. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Grant." I admitted.

"Shannon!" Malcolm turned red. "You are not ready for that!"

"I am. God you guys! I want my life back. I want it back and if I have to pay Ashlynne twenty thousand dollars to do it I will do it."

"Ashlynne Tara Donnelly!!!" Heather was appalled. "You took twenty thousand dollars from your own sister. How could you?!"

"It wasn't like that mom. It really wasn't. Yesterday, Madelyn came by to talk to Shannon and she gave Shannon a cheque to pay her for breaking up with Grant..."

"Wait just a minute!" Malcolm demanded. "Who is Madelyn and why was she allowed in this room."

"Madelyn is the woman that was sleeping with Grant. She came here yesterday to demand that I break up with him. She paid me. I didn't want the money but I did want to get rid of both of them. So I gave Ashlynne the cheque and she got Tyrone to help because I couldn't fit in Ashlynne's car." I confessed.

"You drove her over there?" Heather asked him.

"Very slowly. I didn't hit any bumps." Tyrone tried to save himself but he didn't think it was working.

Heather and Malcolm looked at each other in disbelief. Malcolm grumbled and pointed to Tyrone in irritation.

"I'll deal with you later." He told him.

"Dad, I asked him. He was against it from the start." Ashlynne defended him. "It was solely me and Shannon. Twenty thousand dollars dad. You'd do it."

"I most certainly would not. It is Shannon's health."

"She's fine!" Ashlynne shouted.

"I'm fine!" I agreed. "So you two can calm down!"

"Shannon!" Heather exclaimed.

"Please, okay. I have been grueling over this decision for weeks. Madelyn coming here only made it clear it had to be done. I want out okay! I want to get on with my life. Dr. Petersen is ready to release me when I'm steadier on my feet. I'm working really hard to get there. I want to concentrate on getting healthy but I can't when Grant is always in the back of my mind! Got it!"

The room was silent. Ashlynne put a hand on my shoulder in support and I placed one over hers.

"This has been a really bad few months. Can we all just agree to new starts? Tyrone included." I finished.

We all stared at each other, still fuming from tension and anger but calming down a little bit. Malcolm put his hands on his hips and cleared his throat.

"Fine. New starts." He reluctantly agreed. "Heather?"

"Fine. What's done is done. I'm sorry Shannon but I am only worried about you. You obviously are a lot stronger than I thought but since you started writing you haven't really been quite right in the head, or so it appeared. So excuse me for being a little protective."

"I know I've been phasing in and out but I promise you that is over. I promise."

"Alright." Heather turned to Tyrone and offered the best smile she could. "I'm sorry the girls got you involved in their little scheme. Thank you for taking care of Shannon."

"Always. It's no problem." He answered.

The quiet in the room was too quiet as no one could think of anything to say. The celebratory mood that my parents were in at making thirty six years of marriage was quite ruined by now and so were appetites. I needed to say something to lighten things up.

"Madelyn's pregnant." I offered.

Heather brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. Malcolm pressed his lips together, trying not to smile, only imagining Grant's reaction.

"She's pregnant?" Malcolm snickered.

"Yeah. She told me first. I just had to tell Grant before the elevator shut on his face. Let's just say, he didn't know."

The cackle of laughter could be heard outside the hospital room. Tyrone put a hand around Ashlynne's waist and kissed the temple of her forehead, relieved that I had found something to cut the tension. Heather wiped tears from her eyes but couldn't stop her silent giggles. I watched these people as I had the night before my accident. Tyrone was just a welcome addition. My life was complete, for now. There was just a piece that was missing that I knew, one day, would be filled. I only had to have faith that it was coming.

Since the mood was lighter, I wheeled to my bed and waited for help to be placed on it. My dad came to my side and eased me into it gently. Mom came to place a sheet around my legs and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I'm proud of you." She said softly.

"I'm proud of me too." I smiled. "Um...I wanted to ask you something though; continuing on this subject of starting over."

"What is it sweetheart?"

"I'm thinking of moving."

"What? Why?" Malcolm asked.

Ashlynne, hearing what I was saying, came closer to the bed and sat.

"I feel like I could use a break from the city life. I was thinking the country would give me some room to breathe."

"The country? You're not able to drive yet." Malcolm commented.

"It wouldn't be happening right away. I have a place in mind but it needs some work."

"You found a place already?" Ashlynne asked.

"Well, technically, I didn't have to look far. I want to sell my condo and move to the lake. I want to buy the cabin from you dad."

The room quieted and Malcolm straightened, crossing his arms in uncomfortable thought.

"The cabin? Why Shannon?"

"I miss it. We're never out there anymore but lately, I've felt that it would be the best thing for me right now. I have the money dad; more than enough to make it my own."

"But that's my father's place..." Malcolm hesitated.

"That's exactly why. I don't want it to get lost in memory. I want to give it life and I think that's exactly what Grandpa would have liked instead of having it empty for most of the year. Would you think about it?"

All eyes were on Malcolm as he stood, being pulled in two directions. On the one hand, he wasn't comfortable with making change that held so many memories of his father, but on the other hand, he needed to let go and start fresh just as I did.

"I'll think about it. Give me a little bit of time. Okay kiddo." He smiled unsure of what he wanted to do.

"Sure." I answered.

Ashlynne leaned closer to me and played with the sheet between her fingers.

"So...does that mean your condo's up for grabs?" She hinted heavily.

"Ashlynne!" Heather exclaimed.

"What? It's a great place. I love that condo."

"It is a really great place." Tyrone agreed.

Ashlynne grinned at him and Malcolm bowed his head in defeat. His daughters were grown up and moving on with their lives. Shannon was right. It was high time for fresh starts.

*****

In the months since Shannon Donnelly's departure these lands were vivid and alive. They had never seen better days. As soon as Shannon had disappeared the wall of nothing vanished just as quickly; silently as it had arrived. One moment he saw the dot of a person at his back doorstep then, a few minutes later, everything about nothing was gone. The difference was subtle but there. Instead of a bang it was gone as a whisper. He could breathe. They could all breathe and, at first, the feeling was foreign. People looked confused and wondered what this new atmosphere meant. It wasn't even the same as before. It was all new; brighter and freer. What was dull before now burst with color. It was a new world of joined lands, each different but still from the same source which made them complement each other very well. There was only one thing missing; the man that started it all. James had not shown his face to anyone. If he noticed someone coming towards his home he would duck back inside and lock it up tight. Alexander knew because he had seen it.

It wasn't as if Alexander meant to spy on him. He would freely admit that was what he was doing but he worried about James. Conal sat on the front porch steps, barely lifting his head to anyone that visited. It was a sad sight and one that needed to be rectified. Today, Alexander would catch him unawares. He would come from the rear of the house, through the trees that served as its backyard. James would have no idea.

Alexander waited until he could see him. James gave the impression of preoccupying himself with some sort of object in his hand. Alexander studied the man more closely. He wasn't in a suit but in simple trousers and linen shirt. He didn't even think James owned clothing like that. He was always in suits. Something wasn't quite right about what Alexander was seeing. It was James he was looking at but yet it wasn't.

"Hello?" Alexander called to the man on the porch.

This man didn't act like he had heard him. Confused, he walked closer. The world that James was given had grown substantially. It was impressive what Shannon had done to the place and what she made James into. He was probably just going along with it because he really didn't care anymore; the effects of a broken heart.

"James?" Alexander went to touch his shoulder but his hand simply went through him.

"What do you think of my new roommate?"

Alexander jumped, grasping his chest where his heart would be, out of surprise. Another James, a suited James, was leaning against the side of the house along with a wolf that didn't know where he belonged anymore.

"He doesn't talk much. Doesn't even know he has to share this house with me. He steals my bloody bed without even asking for God's sake. I've been sleeping on the couch."

"James!"

"Yours truly." He answered sarcastically. "What are you doing here? Nice try though. I have to hand it to you; your ability to sneak up on someone is getting better. I saw you coming from a mile away."

Alexander should have known better but he shrugged it off impressed with himself for even trying.

"I've come to check on you. I haven't heard from you for a long while."

"I've been busy." James answered.

"With what? Please James, that is the sorriest excuse I have ever heard."

"Then leave. I've nothing else to say."

"I can't leave. I've come to see you off." Alexander stood his ground, setting his hands on his walking stick and placing it in front of him like he was guarding a queen's castle.

James, confused at what Alexander was saying, pushed himself off the wall and walked closer.

"Where am I going? Are you kicking me out too?" James glared at him. "First this guy and now you?"

"Well son, there are reason's he's here. This is his story." Alexander replied.

"It's my story." James argued.

"Not anymore. There's another you must live."

"What...?" James started but another body caught his attention and he stared in its direction.

Alexander followed his gaze and crossed his arms over his chest at who was appearing. He was wondering when she would show up. He didn't think it would take this long but good things came to those who waited he supposed. Alexander looked at James who recognized her but didn't want to believe who he was looking at. Shaking the vision off, he stalked away refusing the image.

"Smoke and mirrors." He grumbled. "Your sorcery is not welcome here Alexander."

Alexander followed James in an easy stroll. This was going to be a shock. Alexander knew it would work this way. He always had. It was about time this was happening. James had been waiting twenty years.

"This is not my doing."

"What is she doing here?" James demanded.

"Hazel is here because it's her story as well. This is what she writes."

"That is not me. That is a stranger." James gestured to the man that was now welcoming the woman in a loving embrace. It clawed at his heart, to see them together, because he wasn't the one that was wrapped up in her. "How could you." James glared at Alexander. "This is a horrible joke."

"Look closer James. It is you."

James studied the man intently, taking a short glance at the beautiful woman beside him just so he could quickly see her again. It was the same face, the same eyes. It was the same body, only dressed differently. He had to admit that it was a striking resemblance.

"What's happening? Have they taken over my life?" James asked.

"This was not your life. Your life exists in another place and it is time to go there."

James was confused and starting to get anxious. He couldn't understand what Alexander was telling him for fear that what he would assume would be wishful thinking.

"I will always know you. You are my son, well he is anyway." Alexander pointed to the man that would now live here forever. "I guess she hasn't finished quite yet or else I would be able to speak with him. It's the way it always happens. Sometimes it takes a little bit for us to see the new that arrives."

"Quit talking in riddles old man!"

Alexander grinned and patted James' cheek.

"I'll miss you."

"I'm right here." James argued.

"Not for long."

It had been months since he saw it; the green shimmer that started as a pin point and widened slowly, allowing a body to pass through to another place. The door that had been closed was now beginning to open but it wasn't for Shannon this time. No; this time it was for him. It was his turn to find his life on the other side of this place.

"I don't understand." James admitted.

"Yes you do. Oh, James. You were never meant to stay here. I'm happy you are in some way because it would be difficult to never see you again." Alexander watched the wood carver who was made in James' image. "She's made you my boy but you have always been that. She's only continuing what you were here, at one time."

"I'm leaving?"

"If you weren't so bloody stubborn, you big arse, you would have heard the call."

"Shannon..." James whispered.

"She's in an entirely different place and she waits for you. It's that time. It's time you had your happy ending."

James' chin quivered. He had mixed emotions right now. He wasn't expecting this to ever happen and now that it was he was scared.

"Will she know me?" James asked.

"I don't know." Alexander admitted. "I don't know if its love at first sight or if it's a work in progress. With you, though, I'd consider the latter."

"I'll never see you again." James understood and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Of course you will. You may as well have written me in stone." Alexander laughed. "I'm around James. You merely have to read the words." Alexander saw that the door was now wide open and patiently waiting to for James to walk through.

Conal noticed and recognized it. He sniffed at it and leaned closer sensing there was someone, on the other side, waiting for him. He wasn't sure about this either but he was courage and courage took chances. Conal walked slowly through the door and disappeared into its sparkle and waves. Alexander laughed and slapped his knee.

"I guess he's going too. Look at that. What a site. Learn from him James. He's using his smarts."

James was now excited as he saw Conal walk through. James was being told to go to her. It was his happy ending. The finish line was right in front of him and he would not hesitate anymore. James leapt at Alexander and hugged him tightly. He kissed the old man's cheek and squeezed again, choking him in the act of thanks and love. Alexander continued to laugh, enjoying this side of James. He hugged his son in return than urged him toward the door.

"Go to her. Give her my regards." Alexander smiled. "Good luck to both of you."

James was speechless. He straightened and tugged at his suit jacket to smooth it out. He ran his hands through his hair then rubbed them together in excitement.

"I wonder who I am." James said.

"Go find out." Alexander answered.

James waved and stood at the doorway. He paused, wondering where it would take him and if he was ready. Following Conal's example, he walked through with his chin held high. Alexander watched him disappear just as Shannon had, but under much better circumstances. Tapping his walking stick on the ground a couple of times, he turned towards the house. Now that James had left it was no longer fantasy but a reality, turning the couple ahead of him into solid beings. This was his world and this is where he would stay. There was no threat to it any longer and never would be again. So with that, he walked towards James and Hazel, wanting to introduce himself and extend his welcome in his own way; even if they already knew who he was.

"Thank you Shannon." Alexander whispered. "Thank you for your words."

*****

Four months, twenty days and two hours. I shook my head, laughing at myself for such a thought, but they came often. Every day I looked at a calendar and counted how many days had passed. At first, the time passed quickly. I worked at my recovery and my writing, when I could. I knew the threat was gone and my books were safe. Even if I only had ten or twenty minutes to write a page, I continued on someone else's fictional journey; fictional to those that I shared my ideas with now but it was reality to me because I was aware as soon as I created someone new that they existed. My fantasies existed and it kept my mind busy because the day after I had said goodbye to James and ended it with Grant, I needed a mental reprieve from lingering ghosts.

Living with my parents kept me entertained as well. They didn't think I was ready to be on my own without support and I didn't want to be alone anyway. It was nearly every day for a month that I would ask my dad about the lake house and every day he would accept it more and more until one day he stood from the dinner table and made the announcement that we would all have Thanksgiving at the lake.

"And then..." He got quiet for a second before continuing. "It's yours Shannon."

"Really dad? Are you sure?"

Ashlynne watched wide eyed, grabbing Tyrone's hand, while mom looked on, completely thrilled as she had no idea what her husband had been thinking.

"One catch." He warned.

"Here we go." Ashlynne's hopes were dashed knowing it was too good to be true.

"Now hold on. It's not a big one." Malcolm defended himself.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That your old man can still have a key."

I stood and limped towards him. He embraced me in a hug; assuring me he had no question that this is what he wanted to do for me.

"Thanks dad." I said quietly. "This means a lot."

Malcolm patted my back and addressed Tyrone while I sat again.

"I suppose this means you'll be moving into Shannon's old place with my daughter." Malcolm grilled him, making him start to sweat.

"We've been talking about it but, Malcolm, I was just waiting to hear your decision before asking your permission. I swear."

Malcolm put his hands on his hips, trying to seem intimidating but really hated doing it. He liked the guy and approved of his relationship with Ashlynne whole heartedly. Dropping his head, he started to giggle noticing Tyrone's nervous face.

"It's okay son." Malcolm extended his hand, beaming. "Welcome to our family."

Ashlynne grinned so big that her eyes were only tiny slits. She jumped up and hugged her father until concern lined her face.

"You'll still let me have it right?" Ashlynne asked.

"Start planning but it will be awhile. I have lots of work to do on grandpa's place." I answered.

That was the beginning of contractor appointments and blue print planning. So today, I was taking a time out. I wasn't moving until the spring anyway; not until my book was complete.

These days, things were calm. My parents were in Bora Bora and Ashlynne had taken Tyrone to Greece hoping to get a ring on her finger. It was just me and the quiet was starting to take its toll. I came to the park to get some air and to enjoy where I was instead of longing for where I wasn't. The limp in my leg was gone and my body was one hundred percent. I was happier than I had been in a long time but was ready for my next chapter, so I visited the park on this warm autumn day; sitting on the cool top of a picnic table where it all started this past summer.

A heavy wind had cleared the trees of their leaves the day before, making their skeletons clack together with the remaining breeze. Geese flew above in their V formation which I always thought was a giant arrow telling me to follow them to warmer climates. I never did.

The bark of a dog brought my face from up to down and to the left. It was a large beast of a dog and it was heading right for me. Those around scattered, not wanting to have anything to do with this uncontrolled canine. I had no idea why it was coming for me and brought my legs up in concern. Getting a closer look, it seemed familiar. It actually resembled Conal quite a bit and part of me wished it was him.

"Hello." I greeted it as it put its paws up on the bench.

Seeing how it wasn't about to harm me, I gave it a playful scratch. It whimpered and pressed its body closer to mine, panting with pleasure. A man ran up, breathless but relieved that the animal had stopped.

"I am so sorry. He just took off. He never does that."

"It's okay." I smiled, not bothering to quit my attack of rubs on the dog. "He reminds me of mine. I recently had to let him go. It's good he ran into me though. Someone else might think he was a wolf on the loose." I laughed. This dog's behavior was extremely puppy like and not wolfish at all.

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Conal." He answered simply.

My head shot up at the name and I studied the man before me.

"Do you not like it?" He asked, puzzled at my reaction.

"That was...never mind." I shook my head and let go of the dog. "It's a great name."

"Thanks. He's a great dog. I'm James by the way. I just moved here last week." He extended a hand to me and waited for me to take it.

My heart almost stopped and I looked at this man, before me, more closely. Shaking his hand, I saw a recognizable twinkle in his gray eyes. As I watched, the twinkle spread, buffing out a man I did not know into a man I did. James, as he was and minus a suit, now stood in front of me. Nodding, I chewed my lip nervously.

"You just moved here? From where?" Taking back my hand I crossed my arms over my chest as shivers of excitement crawled up my spine.

"Shannon, Ireland."

I laughed out loud, looking everywhere but his face thinking this was someone's idea of a very late April's fool's joke.

"Wow." I said.

"Is something funny?" He asked, smiling along.

"No, it's just...my name is Shannon."

"Oh? It's lovely to meet you Shannon. You do seem awfully familiar to me. Have we met?" James asked scratching his unshaven chin for effect.

"Maybe we have. In another life?" I offered.

"Hhmm...you'd think I'd remember something like that."

Conal let out a bark while sitting patiently and James winked at me.

"Seems he knows you as well."

I couldn't say anything but pat the dog's head in reply. He immediately started wagging his tail, letting it slam against James' thigh.

"Maybe." I slipped out.

"Would you care for a walk? Maybe we could search our memories of another place in time we may have known each other." James asked softly.

"You'd like to know me better? I don't know. Mom and dad told me never to walk off with strangers." I teased.

"That's very good advice. I'd listen to it...if I were a stranger. But you know my name; you know my dog and I believe you've known us before. It's just a walk. What could happen during a walk?"

"A lot could happen on a walk." I answered jumping off the table. "I'm willing to find out though."

James held out his hand and I took it gently.

"Come on Conal. Let's go." James directed.

Conal happily trotted off as others around stepped away from him.

"Told you they'd think he was a wolf." I mused, watching him go ahead.

James put his arm around my neck while I left my fingers tangled with his. He kissed the side of my head as we walked towards something.

"Ready for happily ever after?" He asked.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." I replied.

"Yeah, you probably could. You are the writer."

"So they say." I agreed.

James laughed and viewed his new surroundings with an easy pleasure.

"That they do Shannon Donnelly. That they do."

*****
