IN TEARS TONIGHT, AND IT'S THEIR
FAULT.
I ALSO WANT TO WISH A HAPPY 
BIRTHDAY TO OUR VICE PRESIDENT 
MIKE PENCE WHO TURNED 60 YEARS 
OLD TODAY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
OUR WARMUP GUY DOESN'T PAY MUCH 
ATTENTION, BUT IT WAS AN 
EXCITING NIGHT FOR THE PENCES.
MOTHER LET HIM BLOW OUT ALL THE 
CANDLES BY HIMSELF.
ACTUALLY, HE DIDN'T BLOW THE 
CANDLES OUT.
HE STARES AT THEM CREEPILY 
UNBLINKING UNTIL THEY GET 
UNCOMFORTABLE AND PUT THEMSELVES
OUT.
MIKE PENCE'S WIFE TWEETED MAY 
ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.
AND IT WORKED.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER SHE POSTED 
THAT, TRUMP CHOKED ON A CHICKEN 
LEG AND SHE TURNED INTO BURT 
REYNOLDS, SO CONGRATULATIONS.
THIS IS THE VICE PRESIDENT'S 
CAKE TODAY, THE THEME WAS SPACE 
FORCE.
AND THE PRESIDENT HAD A SPECIAL 
SPACE FORCE MESSAGE.
FOR ALL THE MONEY WE'RE 
SPENDING, NASA SHOULD NOT BE 
TALKING ABOUT GOING TO THE MOON.
THEY SHOULD BE FOCUSSED ON THE 
MUCH BIGGER THINGS WE ARE DOING,
INCLUDING MARS, OF WHICH THE 
MOON IS PART, DEFENSE AND 
SCIENCE.
THE MOON IS A PART OF MARS?
IS THAT DEFENSE OR SCIENCE?
I WILL GIVE $10,000 TO THE FIRST
REPORTER WHO GETS TRUMP TO NAME 
THE PLANETS IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM,
BUT THIS WAS AN INTERESTING 
TWEET.
NOT THAT THEY'RE NOT ALL 
INTERESTING TWEETS.
LESS THAN A MONTH AGO HE WROTE 
UNDER MY ADMINISTRATION WE ARE 
RESTORING NASA TO GREATNESS, AND
WE ARE GOING BACK TO THE MOON, 
THEN MARS.
NOW HE SAYS THEY SHOULDN'T BE 
TALKING ABOUT THE MOON.
MAYBE HE WANTS IT TO BE A 
SURPRISE FOR THE MOON PEOPLE?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT THE THING I ADMIRE ABOUT 
DONALD TRUMP THE MOST IS HIS 
CONSISTENC
