♪ ♪
♪ From Gilgamesh to Beowulf ♪
♪ To the Odyssey ♪
♪ Every time
has a story to tell ♪
♪ And pass down
through history ♪
♪ Ishmael went out
searching for whales ♪
♪ And Gatsby longed
for acceptance ♪
♪ Tom and Huck went
and ran all amok ♪
♪ And we've been talking
about them ever since ♪
♪ Long after
the people are gone ♪
♪ The stories that represent
them still last ♪
♪ The written letter helps us
know a little better ♪
♪ Our ancestors from the past ♪
♪ And we are no different
from they ♪
♪ We've all chosen our own story
that will now live on ♪
♪ And summarize
our current day ♪
♪ And represent us now forever
in the great beyond ♪
♪ Little girl wanted to be
famous so bad ♪
♪ So bad ♪
♪ 'Cause she had
a semi-famous dad ♪
♪ A famous dad ♪
♪ 'Cause he was friends
with a murderer ♪
♪ Who was on TV ♪
♪ Well, she had no TV murder
friends like her pa ♪
♪ But she had one that was
in the gossip mags a lot ♪
-♪ Mags a lot ♪ -♪ And 'cause
her grandfather owned hotels ♪
♪ And had made a lot of money ♪
♪ Well, that friend blew a guy
on videotape ♪
♪ And the news talked about it
for six weeks straight ♪
♪ And our hero had a plan
to get that fame ♪
♪ That she so craved ♪
♪ She got the guy who played the
brother on that Moesha show ♪
♪ And they filmed themselves
going hard as they could go ♪
-♪ And ♪
-♪ Hard as they could go ♪
♪ We've been paying attention to
her for the whole last decade ♪
♪ It was the story of you ♪
♪ It was the story of me ♪
♪ It was the story we choose ♪
♪ To pass down through history ♪
♪ It was the story of us ♪
♪ And of our time here ♪
♪ What we were about ♪
♪ And the heroes we cheered ♪
♪ It was the story of our time ♪
♪ More dense and rich
than any script ♪
♪ That Tolstoy ever wrote ♪
♪ The epic would take
years to tell ♪
♪ But here are the CliffNotes ♪
♪ It's started when Kim's mom
and dad were celebrating ♪
♪ Their anniversary ♪
♪ Kim bought them
a stripper pole ♪
♪ And gave it to them
at their party ♪
♪ Then Kim and Khloe
went to a shoot ♪
♪ For Girls Gone Wild
 down in Mexico ♪
♪ Down in Mexico ♪
♪ Their dad found out
and followed them ♪
♪ So he could tell them no ♪
♪ So he could tell them no ♪
♪ Then the mom tried to convince
Kim to do Playboy ♪
-♪ And Khloe got a DUI ♪
-♪ Got a DUI ♪
♪ Kourtney had a pregnancy scare
and then she started to cry ♪
♪ She started to cry ♪
♪ Khloe gives a makeover
to a homeless man ♪
♪ Nude photos of Kourtney come
out and she cries again ♪
♪ The mom decides
to build a chicken coup ♪
♪ Kim goes and does
some sort of calendar shoot ♪
♪ The mom real drunk
and gets a tattoo ♪
♪ The son wants to model
and drop out of school ♪
♪ The dad goes and gets
some plastic surgery ♪
♪ Kim goes to Comic-Con
for Disaster Movie ♪
♪ Khloe marries
a basketball guy ♪
♪ Kourtney's boyfriend gets
drunk, so again she cries ♪
♪ The mom tries out
to be a cheerleader ♪
♪ They meet a family
from Hurricane Katrina ♪
♪ They get a Chihuahua and give
it back 'cause it's sick ♪
♪ Kourtney and her boyfriend
split up 'cause he is a dick ♪
♪ Then they get back together
'cause they have a kid ♪
♪ Kim kisses her bodyguard
and can't believe what she did ♪
♪ Khloe loses a ring
and then starts to cry ♪
♪ Kim marries a totally
different basketball guy ♪
♪ The mom has surgery
to get bigger breasts ♪
♪ Kim is shocked to find out
she has psoriasis ♪
♪ The dad shows off some
new earrings that he got ♪
♪ Khloe thinks
that she's pregnant ♪
♪ But it turns out she's not ♪
♪ Oprah comes by the house
to interview them ♪
♪ Kourtney
and her boyfriend fight ♪
-♪ And she cries again ♪
-♪ She's always crying ♪
♪ Khloe thinks
that she's adopted ♪
-♪ And does a DNA test ♪
-♪ Poor Kourtney ♪
-♪ Then Kim starts to date Kanye
West ♪ -♪ Why you crying? ♪
♪ Kim gets scared of a spider
that she sees on the ceiling ♪
♪ Jimmy Fallon makes a joke
that hurts the dad's feelings ♪
♪ Kim gets pregnant
and she gets really big ♪
♪ The mom for some reason
babysits a pig ♪
♪ The dad tells everyone
that now he's a girl ♪
♪ The mom says she feels weird ♪
♪ That now the dad is a girl ♪
♪ Khloe gives basketball guy
another chance ♪
♪ Kim gets robbed of her jewelry
when she visits France ♪
♪ Kourtney starts to cry again
for some reason ♪
♪ And that's basically
what happens ♪
♪ In the first 12 seasons ♪
♪ It was the story of you ♪
♪ It was the story of me ♪
♪ We voted with our views ♪
♪ On our phones,
tablets and TVs ♪
♪ This was the story of us ♪
♪ As we begin our fall ♪
♪ A family of the times ♪
♪ And the lessons that
they taught us all ♪
♪ If you wanna make it
in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ If you wanna make it
in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ If you wanna make it
in the world today ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ You'll never make it
if you're hung up on dignity ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ You can't expect to just
start up at Kanye ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Point your phone at your ass ♪
♪ And start snapping away ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Blow your boyfriend and give
your mom the videotape ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Be an icon
just for not going away ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ Make your voice heard ♪
♪ Even if you've
nothing to say ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta fuck
Moesha's brother ♪
♪ We can change this, but we
gotta start looking away. ♪
