

### A Heart's Dream

Michael Anthony

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2014 Michael Anthony

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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For Kathy...

You have had a place in my heart for almost my whole life. A connection that I will never be able to explain. Always know... You have me for life.

Just saying...

To Karen...

If I were to look up "friend" in the dictionary, I'm sure I would find your picture. You have always been there with a hug, a shoulder, and an ear. You never judge and I thank you with all my heart.

Thanks...

Kathy K, Constance, Debbie, Christine, Brenda (Bertha), and Melissa for your support and feedback.

Finally... Linette...

You saved me when I was at my darkest and lowest. You were always there and without your encouragement, this project would have never been finished. Your brand of humor always brings a smile to my face. I hope there is enough sauce for you now...

Big Fucking Smiles......

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Credits

# Preface....

Someone once told me "The heart knows what it wants". I'm beginning to believe that. When your heart finds what it wants... doesn't it let you know by pounding in your chest, and beating faster? Doesn't it ache when this person is away? Doesn't it hurt when they hurt, smile when they smile and isn't it happy when they are happy? As time goes on, doesn't it explode into a wonderful contentment?

How can you meet someone for the first time and they have your heart for as long as there remains a breath in your body? Are they your heart's dream?

Why do some people get to spend their lives with this person and others never find them? Still others find that person, are able to hold them, touch them, taste them, but fate never lets them be together? Is it retribution for deeds of past lives? Is it because they were not meant to be together and are being prepared for another? Is just a balancing act for the universe... ying, yang... black, white... good, evil... matter, anti-matter?

These writings, as well as the whole situation that inspired this from the beginning, still kind of amazes me. It was all so unintentional in my mind, but maybe my heart knew what it was doing. I never could have imagined it happening. The connection and attraction was so intense, that it really felt like there was a higher power at work.

The "Hawaii Stories" started as kind of an afterthought, and then escalated into something neither of us could have envisioned. As we had discussions and debates about content and direction, they started picking up steam and scope. The desires of our hearts came forth through pen and paper... or more accurately...through keyboards and screens as we poured everything out to each other.

Eventually things came to an end and in my efforts to deal with it, I ended up sharing a few of the stories. One of the persons I shared them with made an "off the cuff" comment that I should write a book. I'm obviously not a professional writer, but the more I thought about it, the more it started appealing to me. I desperately wanted to put all of this behind me, and move on with my life, but was having a very hard time achieving this. I decided that if I wrote a lot of this out, it might somehow get it out of my system.

So... here is what I came up with. The format is a bit out of the ordinary, but I'm hoping that whoever reads this, may find some way to wade through it. The "original 17 days" are here in their entirety. The emails and texts are also original, with misspellings and slang included. I still have them... not because I purposely kept them... I just never deleted them. Although kind of voyeuristic, I decided to include them because of their ability to convey the raw emotion of the situation. My hope is that whoever starts this, will read far enough to at least "get it". Maybe it will give them food for thought in the event they are in such a situation or on the brink of embarking on a similar path.

Lastly... I know some people who read this will not have much sympathy for my plight. Believe me, I understand, as I too was raised to be a "good person" and always do what is right and honorable. However, not all of life is black and white in my opinion. I struggle every day to do what is right by society's standards and what is right in my heart. When you feel one thing but have to do another, is there not a lie in there somewhere?

Ninety-five percent of this is true and the other is... well... fiction... at least it is for now. Maybe it's just a dream that I still hold on to. I've heard that a dream is a wish the heart makes ... A Heart's Dream.

# Chapter One

"We don't pick who we fall in love with and it never happens like it should...."

~ unknown

I met and fell in love with Kathy when I was five years old. Don't laugh... its true. My family had just built a new home across town, and we moved in a few weeks before starting first grade. As my friends and I were playing in the backyard, I could hear other screams and laughing coming from a yard a little ways down the "alley". Since I was new to the neighborhood, I did not know who it was...nor did I go to investigate. We just continued to remain in the safe and newly comfortable confines of my new backyard. This strategy lasted for about a week until we figured out a fun new adventure. One of the yards backing up to the "alley" had tall trees along its fence line. We discovered it was great fun to walk along the top of this wire fence while holding on to the trees, pretending we were on some jungle adventure. The owner didn't see it that way and was not very happy, since we were bending the top of his fence and in some cases, causing the steeples to come out of the posts. One afternoon he came out and gave us a pretty good lecture about how he would call our parents if we continued with our jungle adventures. This really scared all of us, so we vowed not to ever do this again...which we didn't... for about two hours. It was just so much fun that we couldn't resist hopping back up on that fence. We were about three quarters of the way across his yard, when we heard him coming out of the back door. We scrambled to the end of the fence before he could get to us, and we hopped down into a new backyard, which seemed safe since there was a nice row of hedges between us and the mean old man. As I hit the ground and rolled, I ended up sitting on the grass with the source of the screams and laughter we had heard a few days before, staring at me. One was a young boy, about 3 years old, and the other was a beautiful girl about my age with green eyes and bright blond hair cut about shoulder length with bangs. They were both sitting on top of a large red brick BBQ pit with a tall chimney. As soon as I saw her, I was done. In my five long years, I had never seen anything as mesmerizing.

She was laughing as she asked us what we running from, and we immediately told her and her brother to hurry up and let's run to the other side of their yard, so we could get away from the man on the other side of the hedges. As we slowly caught our breath, we all introduced ourselves. She said her brother's name was Brian and she was... Kathy.

After meeting Kathy, I was pretty much done with my other friends. All I wanted to do was hang out with her, as her laugh, her eyes, and her smile, was almost more than I could handle at my young age. We usually played in her yard or her house. Hide-n-Seek and Tag were outside favorites, always using the brick BBQ pit as base, and listening to Disney albums or watching cartoons were inside favorites. Her mom was a very petite woman, with blond hair and freckles. She was always very nice and made us snacks as we watched TV or listened to the records. Her dad was a very big man... 6'4" or so. He used to scare the hell out of me. He would come home from work, sit in his chair, and let out a big bear yawn, while stretching out his arms. This would terrify me for some reason, which made it impossible for him to resist doing it countless times. Her mom would always laugh as she would get on to him for scaring me.

The fun filled days went on like this for the rest of the summer, and then eventually it was time for us to start a whole new chapter in our lives...First grade.

# Hawaii... Day 1

I am in considerable pain as the white tips of your perfectly manicured nails dig into my hand. I am sure that blood cannot be far behind as you tighten your excitement induced grip on me. Your face is plastered against the window like a child against the glass of a mall pet shop. Your hazel/green eyes are straining to see their first glimpse of paradise, through the broken layers of white fluffy clouds. As our wide-bodied limousine slowly descends over the Kaiwi Channel between Oahu and Molokai, more and more of the Hawaiian Islands come into view. Passing the eastern tip of the island of Oahu, we make a slow turn to the west. Through the clouds you see fleeting shots of Koko Head, Diamond Head, and eventually Waikiki. Paralleling the southern coast, we descend through the last thin layer of clouds that have been obscuring paradise, like the veil over the face of a virgin bride...a bride that will soon be deflowered by the adrenalin drunk woman by my side. As Honolulu and Pearl Harbor slowly slip by, you are babbling a mile a minute, describing to me everything you are seeing. Continuing west, we then slowly make the turn back toward the airport, setting up for our final approach. The azure blue waters, bright sand beaches, and swaying palm trees, are now in easy view as we slowly drift over the house tops before hearing the rumble of the mains settling onto the runway. We taxi for a few minutes before finally pulling into the gate, your excitement building higher and higher... if that is possible. I grab our bags out of the overhead bin, and then move back as you finally are able to stand up and stretch your tall blond frame as you make your way into the aisle. The line cannot move fast enough as I too am getting excited about introducing you to this beautiful and mesmerizing corner of the world. As we stand impatiently waiting, I run my hands along your tempting body, softly kissing your exposed shoulders. I move your hair aside, kissing the back of your neck, and taking in your familiar bouquet. I guess I better keep this bag in front of me until "things" settle down.

We finally make it through the jetway and into the terminal. We exit the satellite terminal and are outside on the bridge which connects to the main one. The sun is bright and the breezes balmy, but comfortable. The air is filled with an interesting mix of the sweet smell of plumeria and the kerosene of the jet fuel.

There is no containing the smile that is stretched across your face. Your beautiful blond hair is flowing in the breeze and it gets stuck on our lips as you lean in and give me a kiss, christening this island.

Most flights connect through Honolulu and we have a few minutes to stretch our legs, before catching the "Wiki Wiki" to the inter-island terminal. There we will take Hawaiian Airlines to Lihue, on the island of Kauai. This will be the island where we will spend our first week of this unbelievable trip. It's a short flight... takes less than an hour.

As we make our approach into Lihue, it is almost a repeat of earlier in the day. Your excitement is almost more than you can take, although I do make it through it without shedding any blood. After landing, we make our way through the small open-air terminal and to baggage claim. As we are waiting, you have found a stand containing travel magazines of the island. You start thumbing through them and all I can hear is "Oooh" and "Aaah" as you are seeing advertisements for the endless opportunities for fun this island can provide. With our bags in hand, we move our luggage to the curb and set up a little "camp". You continue to peruse the magazines as I head across the street to the rental car counters. After securing the paperwork, I catch a ride on their shuttle and am taken to the lot to pick up our car. It does not take long and I have found the car... a navy blue mustang convertible with a white top. Opening the door, I slide into the leather seats, as the "new car" smell invades my senses. I turn the key, and the machine comes to life with numerous chimes and bright displays on the dash. I unlatch the top and hit the button, watching the roof slowly disappear over my head. Seatbelt, music, and mirrors, and I am ready to go. I exit the lot and make the short trip back to the terminal to pick up the bags and my breathlessly beautiful lady. We hop in, and exit the airport ready to start this amazing adventure.

We drive north up the Kuhio highway. It's beautiful. The air is cool and you can see the ocean to the right and the mountains to the left. We stop in Kapaa at the Kauai Village. There we grab a basket and head into the Safeway store to pick up some items for the week. There is a small grocery store close to where we are going to be staying, but this larger store has a bigger selection and lower prices. Excitedly we stroll the aisles picking up breakfast items and stuff for picnic lunches. A few bottles of wine cap off our selections. With our purchases in hand, we make our way back to the car and then struggle to find room for the groceries along with all of our luggage, but we finally make it happen. I have one more quick stop for you, and that is at your very first ABC Store. These stores are like a combination between a convenience store and a souvenir shop. They have tons of different selections and very reasonable prices. Although this is your first visit, it definitely won't be your last.

Finally we leave and head to Princeville. We continue north all of the way past the mountain that looks like King Kong lying down. If you look at the picture, pay close attention to the mountain in the distance. You can see King Kong's forehead, nose, his open mouth, and his feet are facing left.

As we continue, you are mesmerized with the beauty of the coast and the waves as they crash along the black lava rocks and the powdery white sands.

After passing through Kilauea, the road turns west, and becomes increasingly more tropical.

After about a 45 minute drive, we arrive at Princeville. This is the resort area where we are staying.

We check in at the Makai Club condos. They are located on the Woods Course of the Makai Golf course.

The grounds are beautiful, with flowers, birds, and great views. You can see the mountains which have clouds hanging over them in one direction, and the ocean in the other direction.

After we get our bags put away, we freshen up to head into town. As I walk back into the bedroom, you are standing in front of the mirror brushing your hair. As I look at your reflection I am greeted with the best of both worlds. I see the face that has captivated my heart for most of my life, but also see the side of you that stirs me on a more primal level. I walk up behind you wrapping my arms around you. I can now see ourselves in the mirror and secretly wonder what you see in me. I move my lips to the right side of your neck as my hands find your breasts. I pull you close as I press my body tightly against yours. You let out that moan that melts my heart and then you spin around in my arms as you face me eye to eye. You give me that look of "you are my world" as you press your lips to mine, your tongue searching, and hands cupping the sides of my face. You gently push me back until I am sitting on the edge of the bed and then you proceed to crawl up and straddle me, rubbing your hips against mine. You rise up and quickly make work of the buttons on my shirt as I go for the belt buckle, snap, and zipper on your white capris. As I struggle out of my shirt you are kicking off your flip flops and then we make quick work of your red and pink floral print blouse and my khaki shorts and briefs. My deft fingers easily release "the girls" and I roll you over to remove the white lace panties which are between me and what I so desire. I engulf myself in your love before your panties ever hit the floor and you pull me close wrapping your legs around me. Instead of my hand, your white tipped nails have now targeted my back and shoulders as you thrust your tongue into my mouth. You ride hard against me and then pull me over onto my back as you again straddle me. You lean against my chest with your hands as your hair is falling all around your face. My hands again find your breasts as you move back and forth against me, giving me the gift of wave after wave of pleasure. As you keep moving back and forth, I am begging you to stop, as I am spent. You giggle as you keep moving, creating excruciating ecstasy for me. Finally relenting to my pleas, you collapse on top of me. After a few minutes in this heavenly afterglow, you struggle off me to search for your clothes so we can again get ready to go into town. It is all I can do to fight off the greatest of life's simple pleasures for a man... a little cat nap after wonderful sex.

Hanalei is a quaint town. It's so quiet and peaceful which is not hard to understand in this idyllic setting. It became a bit of a "mecca" for a lot of "free spirit" people in the 60s and one of its claims to fame is having the song "Puff the Magic Dragon" written about it.

We find a place to park and stroll down the street looking for the perfect place to have our first supper in Hawaii. We settle on Bubba's Burgers, and sit on the picnics tables in the cool island breeze. You can smell the flowers in the air and hear the breeze through the palm trees.

After finishing our burgers, we sit and talk about what has been an incredible day so far. You hold my hands across the table and your eyes and smile keep me mesmerized as I listen to your excitement. With the shadows getting long, we decide to go to sunset at Hanalei Bay. With your hand in mine, we make our way back to our car. I open your door and enjoy the show provided by your low cut blouse as you slide into the cool leather seats. The drive to Hanalei Bay is only a few blocks and we luckily find a parking spot in the quickly filling lot. It appears we are not the only ones who had this idea.

Hanalei Bay is a beautiful stretch of beach that was ranked #1 for romantic moonlight walks. We make our way from the car, to the soft powdery sands, and then onto the old concrete pier that has become a famous landmark. With my arm around you, we head to the end of the pier and have a good time watching a number of the local kids, climbing the old metal structure at the end, and diving into the cool clear waters. We wonder what it must be like to live and raise a family in such a place. A quick glance tells us that we have 5-10 minutes before the orange-glow of the sun touches the rapidly darkening blue of the Pacific. We head back toward the beach and make our way a few hundred yards down the beach, to a place that we have to ourselves. We sit in the cool, soft sand and prepare for one of nature's most incredible shows. With our toes digging into the powdery sands, we sit facing west, our bodies touching every chance they can get. I have my right hand on your left knee as you have my arm clamped between your legs and your left arm wrapped around mine. The warmth from the sun is in direct contrast with the coolness of the sand.

The sky is filling with millions of colors... almost impossible to describe. Pink, red, orange, violet, and gold... like the color of a pirate's treasure. The deep blues of the sea and the ever changing greens of the cloud shrouded mountains surrounding this bay. We listen to the soothing sound of the waves as they crash in a foamy heap onto the crystal sands. We sit quietly in the warmth of the sunset and each other, until nature pulls the curtain on another day.

After our first unbelievable sunset, we drive back to our condo. We struggle from our car and up the steps as the length and excitement of the day starts to take its toll. We make our way to the bathroom, and begin a nice soothing shower to take away any remaining stresses of the day. I lather your hair and slowly massage your shoulders as you gently melt against me. I spread the soapy foam across your body as you relax under my touch. Turning you around to face me, I rinse the shampoo from your hair and the soap from the rest of your body. I take you in my arms as softly place my lips to yours. I move my lips to your ear, whispering "I love you" as I hold you tightly in my arms. We stand in our embrace and relish the feeling of the warm "rain" as it pours on us.

With our shower finished, we step out to dry off and I retreat to the bedroom to find my silk boxers. I then head to the kitchen as I leave you in the bathroom, brushing out your beautiful blonde hair in the mirror. I rummage through the drawers of utensils looking for a corkscrew to unlock the spirits of the enticing bottle of merlot. With my search complete, I hear the welcome pop as the cork is released and the maroon color fills two long stem wine glasses. I pick up the glasses and take them out on the lanai, placing them on the small wicker table between two chairs. After taking a couple sips, I hear you ask, "Is there any for me?" As I turn around, I am greeted with a soft kiss as I take in your beautiful black lace negligee. If I looked up the word "goddess" in the dictionary, I'm sure it would have your picture there. You take your seat and your wine, and we sit and talk in the cool breezes of our little corner of paradise.

The waning moon is casting its soft glow as the soft trades rustle through the trees. The cool breeze is having an effect on your body... an effect that I am having a hard time ignoring as my eyes take in the view. As the soft moonlight reflects off your body, I can tell that sleep won't be coming anytime soon. Pouring the last of the wine, I set the bottle down as you stand, then step toward me and sit in my lap. You wrap your arms around me as you nuzzle my neck and softly breathe into my ear, getting an immediate reaction from deep inside me. You take my glass and have a sip, then press your lips to mine. The heat of your lips and the taste of the wine, explode in my senses. I slide my hands down your back to your bottom and pull you closer to me. I wrap my arms around you and hug you like there is no tomorrow. Our tongues are searching as your breathing becomes heavier and more labored. I grab your hair, pulling your head back, giving me access to your exquisite neck. I gently kiss and bite your neck, feeling the temperature of your skin immediately rise and flush. I slowly wriggle my way out from underneath you, setting you back into the chair. I part your long shaking legs, as I kneel between them, laying my head on your chest. I take my hands and gently squeeze your breast, as I gently bite your hardening nipple through the intoxicating black lace. "Mmmm" is all I hear as each breath becomes deeper and deeper. I slowly slide the straps of your gown, down your arms, eventually releasing your breasts to the cool night air. Your nipples are glistening from my gentle biting and licking, the cool air causing them to become deliciously elongated. I take both in my hands, kneading and pulling, as I get moan after moan of approval. I slowly work my down, as I take my hands and slowly work the bottom of your negligee up to your waste, revealing the heart of the matter. Running my fingertips along the length of your legs, I am softly planting kisses along the insides of your thighs. First up one side, across the middle, and then down the other... purposely avoiding your heaven in the middle. You are becoming more and more frantic as you endure the intensity of my persistent teasing. I eventually give in and run my tongue from the bottom to the top, circling your favorite spot, then gently sucking as you convulse around my tongue.

As you lay back, catching your breath, I continue to run my hands and fingertips along your legs, as I gently bathe your womanhood with my tongue and kisses. The soft light glows off your slick, glistening skin, leaving nothing of your breathtaking body to the imagination. I grab your hips, sliding your bottom closer to the edge of the chair, as I reposition myself, getting more comfortable as I still kneel between your legs. After giving you a few minutes to finally come back to your senses, I continue my feast on your sex. With my teasing a thing of the past, you are now writhing against my lips and tongue. You take your hands, opening your soul to me, as I dip further and further into your existence. Placing a couple fingers inside, I gently move them back and forth, as I continue to feast on your favorite spot while you feed your body to me. "Mmmm", and "Oh God" is all I hear as your breathing becomes faster and faster before releasing your love over my tongue and lips, arching your back high off the chair. Your hips bucking uncontrollably with each delicious contraction after each delicious contraction. Your hands move to push me away from your sensitive body as you pull me back up to your chest and I lay and listen while your normal breath and heart rate return.

Finally finding our strength, we make our way to the bedroom, sliding between the cool sheets. I lay behind you, pressing my body against yours as I take in the smell of the perfume on the back of your neck. I place my arm over you as you place my hand on your breast. You nestle your bottom against me as I slowly engulf myself with you. You start moving rhythmically, pushing your bottom harder and harder against me. It doesn't take long before I am falling over the edge and my release comes crashing through my body. I pull you close as I slowly spiral my way down, wondering to myself, why I just can't seem to get my body close enough to you.

Lying there with you in my arms, I finally get to succumb to one of life's greatest pleasures... falling into my dreams in the afterglow of your love.

Too be continued....

# Chapter Two

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

~Richard Bach

It's the first day of school. No... really. The first day of first grade. Needless to say, I'm pretty nervous about this new experience. Lots of parents are here with their kids, helping them with this new transition. We finally find my classroom and my very first teacher... Mrs. Watson. She is a teacher that looks much younger than a lot of the others that I have seen, and she has a welcoming smile. I find an empty desk and my mom introduces herself to Mrs. Watson, gives me a quick kiss and is on her way to work. I'm still a bit anxious until I look around and see Kathy and her mom coming into my classroom. My heart leaps! She finds a desk next to mine, which might not be such a good idea, but we give it a shot anyway. Her mom also introduces herself to Mrs. Watson, gives Kathy a kiss, and looks toward me to say goodbye, and can't help but notice the huge smile which is stretching across my face.

As the school year goes on, it becomes apparent that Kathy and I are at the top of the heap when it comes to grades. We compete at everything, reading, spelling, math, art, etc. Our competition proves to be well received as it causes each of us to study hard trying to outdo the other. Since we have the same class, we have the same assignments, which we are able to do together every day after school. As we are learning to read, we take turns reading "See Spot Run" to each other, as her mom listens to make sure we are reading the words correctly.

We seem to be inseparable as we even spend a lot of recess time together, unless I'm playing football or marbles with the other guys, as they are my two favorite first grade sports. We always had fun at lunch, trying to make each other laugh with food or milk in our mouth. Sometimes it would get a little out of hand, and we would be reprimanded by the lunch room monitors. I remember one day after I had just dumped my tray into the trash, I went over to say something to another friend. As I turned around to walk away, Kathy had snuck up behind me, and I ran right into her, bumping our heads and falling on the floor. The lunch monitor saw us as we were trying to get up off of the floor, laughing hysterically, and she came over to us and promptly sent us both to the office. We were pretty scared, as I for one, had never been sent to the office. When we got there, the principal asked us what happened, and after telling him our story, he kind of grinned, and made us sit on the floor in his office until lunch/recess was over. I can still remember sitting there with our backs against the wall, our legs sticking out in front of us, trying with all of our might, to be quiet and to keep our hands to ourselves. Not an easy task for first graders... in the principal's office or not.

The rest of the school year went as it had started, both of us competing and hanging out with each other. As summer came along, it was just like you would read in old stories. Days filled with fun times, having the run of the neighborhood, spending time with friends, not a care in the world. Seems so different than it is today... or maybe that is just because I now get to look at it through the eyes of a parent.

As second grade came around, Kathy and I again had the same teacher... Mrs. Walker. Again the competition between us was fierce as we both strived to outdo the other. Anything less than 100 on our work meant we were losing ground to the other. The afternoons were spent playing and doing homework together which went on through most of second grade. Early that spring, I became very sick and missed over 2 weeks of school. Finally returning to school, I had to work very hard to catch back up with Kathy. Although we were still competing, she helped me every step of the way.

I could tell from conversations between my mom and dad, that there were probably going to be some big changes coming. Although I was only seven or so years old, I knew there were problems with the schools where my older sisters attended. After many discussions, it was decided that my mom and us kids would move back to our original hometown. We still had a home and a number of relatives who lived there. My dad would remain in our new home, since his job was there, and there didn't seem to be a market for them to sell the house... or at least that is what was conveyed to me at the time.

Although I liked our original hometown, and liked the idea of being closer to my relatives, I was not very excited about leaving my life and friends that I had made over the last four years... especially Kathy. One afternoon while I was over at Kathy's house, we were having a snack and I began to tell her that we would be moving away later that summer. Her mom heard me, and then proceeded to tell me that they too, were going to be moving that summer. I asked where to, and she said a town named Providence. I may have only been seven or so, but that name was burned into my brain.

After finally getting everything packed up, I remember seeing, as we drove around the corner shortly before leaving, Kathy and her parents loading their cars too. I left my friend with nothing more than her memory any a little black and white school picture...

# Hawaii... Day 2

I slowly come back to life, finding myself nestled against your back. My body is covered with the essence of Kathy... as it should be. I breathe you in as I run my hands along the length of your black lace clad body. You slowly start to stir and I impatiently wait to get my first glimpse of the infinite love in your sleepy green eyes. You slowly open them, only to see me staring back at you with a huge grin on my face.

"Why are you laughing at me?" you ask with your own big smile on your face. This is a question I never get tired of.

"I'm not laughing... I just can't stop smiling, knowing you are mine. I never tire of looking into your eyes... the eyes I've dreamt about all my life" I explain as I give you a soft kiss.

We slowly wake up to our first full day in Hawaii. Even though we planned to sleep in, because of the 4-5 hour difference from home, we are up by 7am or so. You make your way to the bathroom, brush your beautiful blonde hair, then walk out onto the lanai to get a glimpse of your first Hawaii morning. You notice how quiet it is except for the chirping of the birds and the crowing of the feral chickens. There are tons of feral chickens on Kauai because of hurricane Ewa in 1982 and hurricane Iniki in 1992. Many residents had chickens and when the hurricanes came through, the coops were destroyed and the chickens went free. There are no natural predators on the island, so the chickens thrived in the wild.

We decide to have our breakfast on the lanai, consisting of cereal, fresh fruit and juice as we discuss our plans for the day. Finally getting cleaned up, we head out the door. We are going to explore the North Shore today, from Haena to Kilauea.

We slide into our convertible, put the top down and drive up the highway, stopping at the overlook across the road from the Princeville Center. From this vantage point we can see the Hanalei Valley and Wildlife Refuge. This valley grows more taro root than any other area in the Hawaiian Islands.

We drive down the windy road, stopping at the one-lane bridge waiting for cars to cross. We then proceed into Hanalei taking in the sites in and around town.

Continuing out of town, we drive along Hanalei Bay. The mountains are again on our left and the water is too our right. We cross three one-lane bridges on our way to the end of the road and the start of the Napali Coast.

We go by Lumihai Beach, made famous by Mitzi Gaynor and her role in "South Pacific", when she was "Gonna wash that man right out of her hair".

We continue west along the coast and marvel at the scenery. There are mountains, oceans and tropical steams.

We eventually pass Tunnels Beach at mile marker 8 and finish our western drive in Haena and Ke'e Beach. We find a place to park, and I walk around the car, taking your hand and helping you out. Your yellow tank top is cut just low enough to constantly attract my eyes, as does your white capris... the way they hug your bottom. We stroll hand in hand along the grounds and the beach, marveling at the pristine beauty of this place. Here, at the end of the road, the Napali coast starts. The only way to access the beauty of this land from here, west to Barking Sands Beach, is by hiking, boat, or helicopter. The mountains surrounding this beach are vibrant green which makes for an amazing contrast to the powdery white sands and crystal blue waters. The beach here is a wonderful place for snorkeling. With the protection of the reef just off the beach, the waters are teaming with countless examples of marine life. We decide we will have to return and spend the day at this beach enjoying the sun, swimming, and snorkeling.

I'm starting to feel the familiar growl in my stomach, and you agree it is about time we find a place for lunch. We retrace our route back, and find a picnic table at the little park across the road from the Wet and Dry Caves. We park, and I get the ice chest out of the back seat, as you carry the bags of sandwich items. We spread a table cloth, using the ice chest to hold it down as it battles the persistent trades.

Eating our sandwiches and chips, we are almost speechless as we take in this incredible scene. The beauty of the cloud shrouded mountains, the roar of the waves breaking on the beach, the coolness of the trades, and the fact that we are finally able to share this together. As I grab a couple chocolate chip cookies for dessert, I come around to your side of the table and put my arm around you. We both sit silently as we watch the endless waves come crashing onto the sands. You lay your head on my shoulder as I run my hand up and down your back. The warmth of your body and the smell of your skin is making me a little impatient about getting you back to our condo...

After a nice relaxing lunch, we pack up our stuff, and haul it back to the car. We each grab a can of Diet DP for the road, and settle into the warm leather seats of the Mustang. A turn of the key and it roars to life, and in a matter of a couple minutes we are back on the road, working our way back toward Hanalei. As we pass through town again, we drive by and take pictures of a couple places of historic interest we missed this morning, before getting back on the highway and heading east to Kilauea.

The sun is shining brightly and the air is cool and we travel past the Prince Golf Course, the Princeville Airport, and cross the Kalihiwai River, before arriving in Kilauea. We turn left at the light, and follow the signs to the Kilauea Lighthouse and Wildlife Refuge. We find a parking spot, and make our way up the steep and winding parking lot to the entrance. The walkway between the gate and the lighthouse is lined with countless nests of birds that call this place home. Through the fence we can see some nests filled with eggs and others with new chirping, squawking additions. We finally make it to the lighthouse itself and we tour the exhibits.

We browse the gift shop making a few purchases of post cards and a refrigerator magnet. We exit the gift shop onto the well-manicured lawn and make our way to the fence for a spectacular view of the magnificent blue Pacific and the north shore of the island. From this vantage point you can see all the way from Kilauea in one direction to Princeville and the Bali Hai in the other.

With our visit to the lighthouse and bird sanctuary complete, we take our time walking back to the car hand in hand. I never tire of your touch.

Back on the road, on our way to Princeville we decide to make a slight detour and drive down to Anini Beach. This is a beautiful area and as we drive along the road, we wonder what it would be like to live in such a place with an unbelievable picturesque view right from your front porch.

Our detour now complete, I gaze over and notice you are getting a little sleepy as we drive along in the warm sun. It has been such a relaxing day and you are looking quite contented.

Almost done with our tour of the North Shore, we make one last stop at the St. Regis Princeville Hotel. It is set upon a bluff which provides incredible views of Hanalei Bay. After parking, we walk along the flower lined paths to the entrance of the hotel. As we enter the lobby, you are astounded by the beautiful fountain, and the view of the bay and mountains through the huge windows on the far side of the lobby. We find the entrance to the balcony overlooking the bay, and stand there in amazement taking in its beauty.

We visit the many shops and boutiques before deciding it is time to head back to our condo and get ready for supper. We arrive at our place and unload the bags and ice chest. I put the things away as you jump in the shower and start to get ready for our evening. As you finish and start to do your hair and makeup, I hit the shower and in a matter of 45 minutes or so, we are ready. As you walk back into the room, my heart skips a beat as you stand there in a red and silver, floral print sundress. Your luscious shoulders are starting to get a glow about them, and the colors of the dress go perfectly with your hair. A huge smile breaks out across my face as I take you in my arms and stand there just holding you... feeling your body against mine. Your intoxicating perfume swirls through my senses, and I immediately know that I do not want to be out too late...

Our choice for supper tonight is the Hanalei Dolphin. This is a superb restaurant on the banks of the Hanalei River which has been serving satisfied guests for over 30 years. Reservations are not accepted and since it is a little early, we are seated immediately. Seating is open air, and the cool trades make for a very comfortable experience. A bottle of merlot being the first order of business, we follow it up with some pupus before ordering our entrees. I'm having the mahi mahi, and you the ahi tuna, both coming with a baked potato and salad. As the salads arrive, you notice the bowls are chilled with bits of ice still on them. As you take your first bite, you realize that they must sauté their croutons in butter before placing them in the salad. They are sooo good! Each bite is accompanied by a "Mmmm" and this pattern continues through the whole meal. Although merlot is not exactly a perfect pairing for fish, it is our favorite and the vintage was outstanding.

Totally stuffed, we sit and finish the last of the wine as we relive what has been an incredible first full day in Hawaii. You are so thankful for finally getting to experience it first hand after listening to me talk about it for so long. The wine now finished, and our debt settled, we "ride" the Mustang back "home" just in time to witness another breathtaking sunset from our lanai.

Standing, with fresh glasses of wine in our hands, we bask in the warm glow of another sunset. I move in close behind you wrapping my arm around you, and gently kiss your shoulder and neck. You slowly turn to face me, wrapping your arms around my neck, and press your lips to mine. You slowly part your lips as your tongue searches and your hand and fingernails run along the back of my neck. You immediately feel the reaction you desire from me as you press your body harder against mine. Releasing my lips, you stand back, take my hand, and lead me to another blissful night of Kathy...

# Chapter Three

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.

~Flavia Weedn

For the next ten years or so, I thought about Kathy often, always wondering how she was, and if she was still in Providence. Different things would remind me of her from time to time. There was a movie called "Forever" and the lead characters were Michael and Kathy. Even the blond girl on Hee Haw was named Kathy.

Our schools would often play each other in sporting events, so I would usually ask about her. Some people would say they knew her, but she never seemed to be there. As time went on, and I entered high school, I became a little shy about asking. It can be a bit tough on guys, as girls always seem to mature faster. At football games, instead of asking, I would just go over to the visitor's side of the field, trying to see if I might see or recognize her. I never did, although I once saw a blond girl in her band uniform, and a saxophone, that to this day I think was her. Unfortunately I was too embarrassed to ask at the time.

March, 1979, my cousin and I were hanging out at the carnival. We had been riding some of the rides, and I for one, was getting tired of riding with him. I suggested we find some girls to ride with us. It had been drizzling all night, and we both looked like drowned rats. We happened to look over to the rollercoaster, and saw two girls we knew from school waiting in line. We decided to go over and see if we could ride with them. On the way over, I told him he could ride with Cheryl and I would ride with Madisson... a very pretty, petite brunette. We approached them, and they agreed to ride with us. Little did I know, I had just met my wife. We rode a few more rides, and then sat in his car and talked for a while. When it was time to go, she gave me a kiss that about knocked me to my knees. I called her shortly after to ask her out again, which she accepted, and we quickly became exclusive.

Although Madisson and I had quickly fallen in love, I would be lying if I said that Kathy did not still have a place in my heart. After all... she was my first... and we never had a chance to see if anything was still there after we had become older.

Madisson and I had been together for about a year and a half. It was just a few weeks before my graduation, and I happened to be in the library when a friend came by and said they had run into someone at a UIL event that had asked about me. I asked them who, and they said they couldn't remember their name, but it was a blond girl from Providence. My jaw almost hit the floor! I couldn't believe it! After all of this time!

That night, I got on the phone and called information. Don't ask me how I remembered her dad's name... but I did. I got the number, and then dialed. Her mom answered the phone. I was so nervous. I told her who I was, and I swear I could hear her smiling through the phone. She said to wait just a minute, and she would get Kathy for me.

When she finally came on the line, I could not believe that after all of these years, I was able hear her voice and actually be talking to her again. To this day, I can't tell you what we talked about, but we did trade addresses and eventually letters and pictures. We found out that we were both in long term committed relationships, and talked about the past ten years and what we hoped for the future.

After receiving her letters, I told Madisson about her, not wanting to keep any secrets. I told her that Kathy was an old friend I knew from first and second grade. I told her we had lost track of each other after our families had moved the same summer. I told Madisson not to worry because I was madly in love with her and Kathy was also very much in love with her boyfriend.

Later that summer, I got a call from Kathy. She asked me if I would be interested in coming to visit her. I said sure, because I needed to know if there was anything between us, before making a lifelong commitment to Madisson. We were not engaged at the time, but it felt like things were rapidly heading in that direction.

As it turned out, my parents were going out of town for a week, and Madisson was going to spend a few days at the coast with her family. I was to meet her at the coast on Saturday night after I got off of work. This left Friday evening free since I worked early Friday and late on Saturday. I called Kathy and we made our plans. Right before I was to leave, she called and said her boyfriend would not be out of town and was expecting them to go out that night. I was not about to miss my chance, so I told her I would call her back in a couple of hours. I then drove to Providence and called her from Pizza Palace. She had an hour or so before her date, so she came to meet me. She looked amazing and I looked like a dork in my beige suit. I was trying to look presentable, but may have over done it a bit. We talked and then she had me follow her to her house. She said I could either stay there while she was on her date or I could ride around town like everyone else does. I chose to ride around town until eleven or so, and then went back to her house and parked in her drive until she came home.

After she arrived home, we went in and immediately started to try and catch up on our lives for the past ten years. We shared pictures and told each other about how excited we were about the people that we were in love with. As we were sitting on the couch, the TV was on and the show "Fridays" was airing. It was a show that had musical guests, and that night it happened to be the Manhattans, and they sang "Shining Star". To this day, I think of sitting with her on her couch every time I hear that song. We stayed up very late talking and then eventually decided to turn in.

The next morning, I got up and got ready to leave. Her mom was cooking pancakes and when I started to eat them, I noticed that there wasn't any syrup on the table, but I was too nervous to ask. After eating about half of my pancake, her mom finally noticed and asked if I wanted any. I said "No... I'm fine." What an idiot! I was so embarrassed.

After the pancake incident, it was time for me to go. Kathy walked me out to my car. We shared how it was so nice to see each other again, said our goodbyes, and she gave me a big hug, and then we parted ways... again.

I drove back home running the last twelve hours or so through my mind and wondering what might have been if we had never moved apart. I made it too work, and then on to the coast to spend the rest of the weekend with Madisson and her family. To this day I have never mentioned going to see Kathy. So much for secrets I guess....

# Hawaii... Day 3

I slowly emerge from my sex induced coma, only to see that you are still fast asleep. I lay there a few more minutes, as I watch you deep in dreamland. On your side with your back to me, your warm and naked body is pressed snuggly against mine. I run my hand along your beautiful bottom, as you subconsciously press it against me. The soft morning light is peeking from behind the curtain, reflecting off your luscious blond hair. The frigid temperature of the room is not helping in the matter of my needing to hit the bathroom along with quenching my wine induced thirst. Taking a deep breath, I slip out of my warm cocoon, find my silk boxers, and make my way to the bathroom. I quietly brush my teeth and tackle the Bozo look my hair is giving me this morning. I find and slip on a t-shirt, then quietly make my way to the door. Gently closing the door, I find the temperature much more suitable in this part of the condo. I slide open the door to the lanai and let in the cool morning breeze. I walk out and lean against the railing as I take in the sweet smells of the plumeria and ginger while marveling at the beauty of the grounds. I take a few private moments thanking God for all that I have, and then return inside to make some much needed breakfast.

I start the scrambled eggs in one pan and the bacon in the other. I load four pieces of bread into the toaster and then cut up a fresh pineapple. Pouring a couple glasses of juice, I grab plates, silverware, napkins and then set the table for breakfast on the lanai. With a pan of eggs in one hand and a pan of bacon in the other, I balance them on the way to the table and make our plates. I cover each with extra plates to keep the food warm and the inquisitive birds out of them. I return to the kitchen and place the skillets in the sink. I guess it is time to finally wake Sleeping Beauty.

I enter the bedroom, and you are curled up in a little ball, with the covers pulled up high around your face. I lie on the bed besides you, and give you a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Good morning Baby. I love you," I say as your eyes are slowly opening to the new day. "Breakfast is ready and we need to eat before it gets cold."

"Speaking of cold... Why the hell is it so cold in here? I thought we are supposed to be in Hawaii?" you kind of whisper and giggle at the same time.

"Yes, it is cold in here, but you will warm up when you have a little breakfast on the lanai" I answer.

Reluctantly you emerge from the warm confines of the bed and make you way to the bathroom, finding a t-shirt to put on and then brushing your hair. Groggily you walk out into the light of the new morning and are greeted with the chirping of the birds and the sweet smell of the fresh air. Sitting down, you take a big sip of your juice since you are a bit parched this morning too. Removing the plate covering your breakfast, you are amazed at how wonderful it looks and how hungry you are. You pick up your fork and dig right in, enjoying the eggs and bacon, but especially the fresh pineapple.

As we finish up, our talk turns to what we are going to do this 3rd day of our wonderful trip. We decide we will explore the west side of the island, visiting the Waimea Canyon and the Kalalau Lookout in Kokee State Park.

As you get ready, I take a few minutes to pack the ice chest with drinks and sandwich items for a picnic lunch. I pack another bag with chips, bread, napkins, and other essentials we will need. I find the camera and make sure it has a full charge along with a memory card with plenty of room, as I know we will be taking lots of pictures today. You make your entrance wearing sky blue capris, a white tank top with a green aloha shirt over that, and your bling-bling flip flops. You get the dishes in the dishwasher and then sit down to write out a few postcards as I get ready for the day.

We grab all of the stuff we will need and take them out to the car. We climb in, fire it up, and put the top down letting in the warm tropical sunshine. After exiting the resort, we turn left onto the Kuhio Highway and start our journey to the western side of Kauai. Traffic is light this morning and the air is cool. We have our tunes playing and are thoroughly enjoying the drive as we make our way through Kilauea and on to Kapaa. As we get to Kappa, we encounter the contraflow traffic system which takes us past Wailua and on into Lihue. Passing through Lihue, we make note of a number of stores we want to make sure and visit before leaving this island. On the south side of town, we pass the mall and the college as we travel south and then west toward Hanapepe. The scenery is beautiful and we have been lucky that we have traveled through a couple places which have just received a fresh rain shower, and we have not had to pull over to put the top up.

As we get closer to Hanapepe, we stop and take pictures of the Hanapepe Gulch since the lookout is on our side of the road. It is a gorgeous view with the vibrant greens and the red of the dirt in contrast with the blue skies. Passing through Hanapepe, we decide we will have to stop on our way back to take in some of the art galleries and other local "must sees"

Arriving in Waimea, we turn mauka, or toward the mountains, (makai means toward the sea) and start our climb to the Waimea Canyon, Koke'e State Park, and the Kalalau Valley Lookout. As we make our way up the narrow winding road through the cane fields, we notice the air becoming cool and fresh. We climb higher and higher into the verdant green mountains of the Garden Isle. Finally we pass through the last of the cane fields and now are traveling through the lush forests of the high country. Rounding a few more corners, we spot the sign to the first of the Waimea Canyon lookouts. I pull the car into the parking spot and we eagerly get out of the car, ready for a chance to stretch our legs. You grab the camera and I grab my beautiful woman by the right ass cheek which rewards me with a quick punch in the ribs and a sexy "Watch it buddy!" from you. I take your hand and we get a bit of a workout as we climb the winding steps to the lookout. As we reach the top and make the last corner, you finally get your first glimpse of the canyon. You can't believe it is actually on an island in the middle of the Pacific. The colors are hard to believe, and you realize it is so much more colorful than the Grand Canyon.

The deep reds and greens are unbelievable and they even change hues as the clouds pass over. Looking over the railing, we see numerous waterfalls and find it hard to believe how deep it really is. We follow a couple helicopters as they travel through the canyon, taking their passengers on a trip of a lifetime. You take plenty of pictures as you try and capture the endless colors as the sun's rays reflect off the passing clouds. We also find someone to take our picture with this breathtaking scene as the backdrop.

Hand in hand we arrive back at the car and then drive into Kokee State Park. Past the visitor's center, the road narrows and the road is lined with tall trees and very tall bushes with lavender colored flowers on them. Eventually we come to the Kalalau Valley lookout and make a left hand turn into the parking lot. As we get out of the car, we notice how foggy it is, since we are so high that we are in the clouds. The setting is kind of eerie as we watch the cloud slowly drift through the area. Starting toward the walking path, we notice off to the left a huge bush with big, beautiful, blue flowers on it. Getting closer, we realize that it is a hydrangea bush and is about as big as a bus. There are more blooms than you can count and you take numerous pictures to show your mom, as you know you will have a hard time describing it. Back on the path, we twist our way through the forest until we come to a clearing with picnic tables and a fence where people are lined up. It is remarkably quiet up here, and everyone feels the need to whisper their "Ooohs and Aaahs" as they take in this incredible sight. It is a view you have seen before in books, and magazines. It's really breathtaking. The colors are astounding, from the verdant greens and reddest reds to the bluest ocean in the distance. Mother Nature smiles upon us as she clears the clouds out of the way for us to take in this magnificent wonder of her work.

With our gawking and our pictures finished, our growling stomachs are sounding the lunch bell. We find an empty picnic table under the shade of a nice tree, which you sit at while I go to the car to get our picnic items. We spread the large tablecloth and unpack the lunch fixins'. As we sit and eat our chips and sandwiches, we talk about how amazing it is to be having lunch in such an incredible setting. The temperature is perfect, the scenery is breathtaking, and sharing it with each other is the icing on the cake.

Our lunch now finished, we pack up everything to take back to the car. I'm feeling a bit sleepy after eating, and suggest we take a little nap. You like the idea and we find ourselves a nice secluded place out of the way. We spread the tablecloth on the grass, and use the ice chest and bag to help block the view and give us a little privacy. We stretch out and I pull you close placing my arm over you and snuggling up to your back. It doesn't take long and we both are taking advantage of a little catnap.

The screams of some children chasing each other around, awakens us from our slumber. We lie there a few more minutes as we start to feel rejuvenated, before gathering our things to take back to the car. You decide you want to take one last look at this incredible view before leaving.

Back on the narrow winding road, we arrive at the Visitors' Center. We park and are readily greeted by a number of feral chickens in the parking lot. We climb the stairs and enter the wooden structure to peruse the exhibits and gift shop. We find a couple books of Hawaiian folklore, some postcards, and of course, a refrigerator magnet.

Exiting the parking lot, we turn right, and start our long journey back down out of the mountains. The trip takes 30 minutes or so as we make our way from the cools forests down through the red, dusty cane fields of the coast. Finally back in Waimea, we stop to look at the statue of Captain Cook. Waimea Bay is where he first set foot in the Hawaiian Islands and actually named them the "Sandwich Islands", in honor of the Earl of Sandwich. From there we drive to the beach and notice that the sand is brown. There are so many different colors of beaches in Hawaii... white, black, red, green, brown, and probably some I've forgotten.

On the way back to Hanapepe, we notice the abundance of bougainvillea along the sides of the road. These purple hedges are 6-8 feet tall and go for miles. The arid climate of the western side provide, perfect growing conditions for these amazing flowering plants. After a couple miles, we decide to pull over to get a better view and take a few pictures. It is hard to believe how beautiful they grow without any care.

Arriving in Hanapepe, we find a place to park downtown. You get out of the car, stretching your long blonde frame. Over the top of the car, you glance at me through your sunglasses. By the smile on your face, I know you are on a mission, as you see numerous little galleries along the street. As you grab my hand, you lead me into the little green building of "Banana Patch Studios". You browse the many selections of hand painted pottery, wooden signs, and Hawaiian art. You find a perfect sign that says "Wine a little. It will make you feel better!" You also find a couple ceramic tiles to hang in your kitchen. With the damage done here, we exit hand in hand and find ourselves visiting many of the quaint little shops including "Moonbow Magic Gift Gallery" and the "Talk Story Book Store". We are so glad we did this, as it is small town Kauai at its best. Feeling a little parched, we decide to get something to drink at the "Hanapepe Café and Bakery". Looking at all of the yummy offerings, we cannot resist getting slice of Mango Lilikoi Pie. Can you say "heavenly"?

With a quick look at my watch I know we need to get going so we can finish seeing everything we want to see today. We find our way back to the car, and drive a few blocks to the Hanapepe Swinging Bridge. It is a unique attraction and we have a very nice time strolling across it. As we reach the middle, I have to take you in my arms and give you a big kiss to christen the bridge for us! Walking along the bridge, back toward the car, I can't keep from grabbing your bottom, putting my arm around you or running my fingers through your hair. I can never seem to get enough of touching you.

Firing up the car, buckling up, and starting some new tunes, we head for the main highway. With a left turn we are on our way to the Poipu area on the southern coast. Our destination will be Spouting Horn.

Pulling into the parking lot, I am reminded by you to be careful and not run over any chickens. The car now parked and secure, we walk past the jewelry and souvenir stands, to the end of the sidewalk, where we watch the namesake of this place. As the waves come in, the water is forced through the lava tubes, and is sprayed high in the air. As this happens, it makes a low "roaring" or "sighing" sound, before the hissing sound of the water falling back onto the black lava rocks.

After watching this for a while, you decide to shop the booths of jewelry and souvenirs that are always set up here. I stroll through the paths which are lined with many different varieties of Hibiscus. I take pictures of the many different colors growing here, as it will otherwise be hard to describe to the folks back home.

The look on your face tells me that it is about time we leave the Poipu area, and start to make our way back "home". It has been a long day and we still have quite a drive back to Princeville. The route back to Lihue, takes us through Koloa town, and then through the Tunnel of Trees. This unique stretch of road is always a fun and beautiful experience.

Making our way through Lihue, Wailua, and on into Kapaa, we realize that the Mango Lilikoi pie, as delicious as it was, it now long gone, and we are in need of some supper.

We find a nice little pizza place called "Pizzetta". We enter to the delicious smells of garlic and baking bread, along with the sight of a cold beer. We find a table and sit down, and begin looking over the very inviting menu. We order a couple ice cold beers, along with spinach artichoke dip for an appetizer and then a meat lover's pizza. The look in your eyes tells me that you have had a wonderful day.

"I simply cannot believe how gorgeous this island is. I have never experienced anything like this before," you tell me. You take another sip of your beer and place your hand in mine across the table. You slowly rub my hand with your thumb and then lightly run your white-tipped nails along my arm. Your touch sends signals directly to my heart, as I never tire of it. As I look at you across the table, your green eyes burn directly into my soul. Can they hurry up with the pizza? I am so ready to get this woman back home!

I am startled out of my trance by the waitress bringing the appetizer and we ask her to for a couple more beers. The pizza finally arrives and it was worth the wait! As hungry as we are, it is obviously going to be too much for us to finish, so we now know what we can have for breakfast or a midnight snack. Placing the remaining pieces in the takeout box, we settle our bill and start toward the parking lot. We notice a little convenience type store, and we both get the same idea of some chocolate covered macadamia nuts for dessert. I tuck my hand into your back pocket as we make our way across the street in search of our chocolate fix. Upon entering the store, you head for the candy aisle and I happen to see a wine display. As I am making my selection, I hear a "squeak" by my ear and turn to see that you are squeaking a little yellow rubber ducky at me.

"Isn't he cute! We have to get him. His name is gonna be Mikey," you inform me. We place the chocolate, wine, and "Mikey" on the counter, and I swipe my card. With our purchases in hand, we walk to the car, my hand again in your back pocket.

The sun is now rapidly disappearing as we wind through the upcountry on our way back to Princeville. Mikey seems to have a new home... sitting on the dash, with his beak facing down the road, keeping a lookout for any dangers. The moon is already out as we park the car and fill our arms with bags and the ice chest.

As soon as we unpack everything, you announce that you are headed for the shower, and for me to hurry up and uncork that bottle and join you. With two glasses of red wine in hand, I enter the frigid confines of the bedroom, and then into the chilly bathroom, where I find you... naked. The cold of the room has had the correct effect on you as I admire your stiffening excitement. Taking a glass from me, you take a sip as it warms your lips and throat. You reach to me, pulling me close as you kiss me deeply. You press your hardening body to mine as you grind your hips into me. Setting my glass down, I quickly remove my clothes and return to your feverish embrace. As I taste the wine on your lips, I run my hands along your back and over your bottom, sliding my fingers between your legs. You let out a moan and grind your hips into me harder as you slightly raise your leg to allow easier access you what you desire. Taking my other hand, I grab your hair pulling your head to the side as I lick and kiss your neck, tasting the saltiness of the day and of your rapidly heating body.

"Ah... Baby. That's it. Touch me there," you whisper as you grind yourself into my hand. I move you against the wall as I continue to press myself to you. You kiss me harder and harder as you franticly suck my tongue into your mouth. You raise your leg to place it on the side of the tub, when you accidentally kick the shampoo bottle into the tub with a loud thud. This causes you to giggle and it gives us a little break in the action. We then climb into the shower turning on the water as I fish the shampoo bottle from the bottom of the tub. I squeeze a handful and lather your gorgeous blonde hair. I take my time as I massage your scalp and you turn and lean your back against me. I take my lather filled hands, reach around and gently rub your breasts, as I roll your nipples between my fingers. Your moans have started again and you press your bottom against my hardness. I slide my hands down across your slippery stomach to the apex of your thighs and beyond. I gently slide my fingers through your sex and your breath starts to quicken. Removing the shower message from its holder, I direct the pulsating spray to the perfect spot. You place your foot on the side of the tub as the spray works its magic. Within seconds, your orgasm is crashing through your body at the speed of light and it is all I can do to keep us from falling to the bottom of the tub.

Finally down from the heights, you turn to face me and place your head on my chest. You let out a contented sigh as you kiss and lightly lick my nipple. You look up at me with "that look" and your hands find my growing appreciation. As you slowly stroke me, you reach for the body wash and squirt some on your breasts. Using me, you slowly spread it around before wrapping yourself around me. My head is spinning at the sight of me sliding back and forth between your breasts. With your one hand keeping me in place, "the boys" are not neglected by the other. The feeling getting higher and higher, it is only a couple minutes before my love finds its way onto your chest. Volley after volley finds its mark and then runs into your cleavage. I am doing my best to hold onto you as the glorious sensations flow through me, rendering my knees into a weakened state.

You smile proudly as you look into my eyes, knowing that when it comes to pleasing me, there has never been anyone better. I grab some more body wash, and help you clean me from your breasts. We quickly rinse off and then get out and dry off with big fluffy towels. We finish the wine in our glasses, and slide into the crisp cold sheets, as our bodies fit into a perfect spoon. I snuggle up behind you with my hand on your breast, as we quickly and contently fall into dreamland...

# Chapter Four

"It will all change when you meet Miss Right. You don't know... not straight away. It feels warm and comfortable, and you hang in there and give it a chance. And before you know it, you are like, "Yeah, this is it. It must be love"

"I don't agree. I think you know immediately. As soon as your eyes.... Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you have been right in that first moment, when you suddenly realized you have been incomplete and now you are whole."

~ _Piper Perabo and Lena Headey_ " _Imagine Me & You_" 1

Kathy and I wrote each other off and on through the rest of the summer. She eventually went off to Woodson Jr. College that fall.

As the summer went on, I was still trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. For some reason I never had really planned to go to college. Going to high school was more of a social exercise for me. Since I lived in the country, I never really had friends that could easily come over and do things. After eighth grade, both of my older sisters had already moved out, so I spent many hours alone, which fueled my being more interested in socializing when it came to school, than of learning anything. Combine this with the fact that we really didn't have much money, were the two biggest factors in my decision not to go to college. I was always a hard worker, so I never figured I would have much trouble finding work. By this time, I was working 40hrs a week and making decent money (so I thought) for a small town.

I had always loved airplanes and anything to do with aviation. I decided that I might never again have an opportunity, like the present, to get my pilots' license. I had toyed with the idea of going to trade school to become an avionics technician, but didn't have enough money to enroll. I figured that I could pay as I went when it came to flying lessons.

That fall I went to the airport signed up, and for the next 18 months, took lessons as money would allow. I eventually passed my Private Pilot's check-ride in November of 1981.

During this time, Madisson and I continued to date exclusively. We talked about eventually getting married, but I still didn't know what I wanted to do long term. What I did know, was that I didn't want to end up married, still working at the grocery store, and stuck in a small town. Since I was paying for flight lessons, paying for dates, and paying for my car, I could never seem to save any money. This along with my fear of something happening which might cause me to be trapped in this very life I was trying to break free from, was causing some big time tension in our relationship. Madisson had been the first girl I had ever really dated, and I was also wondering if I was "jumping the gun" so to speak. I knew I loved her, but I was starting to second guess myself, meaning... was my love for her going to be enough long term? After a couple months of turmoil, I ended our relationship in the late winter of 1981.

For the next 8-9 months I worked, went out from time to time, and tried to save some money to help me start the next chapter of my life. After originally thinking about becoming an avionics technician, I had decided that flying the planes was a lot more fun. So I spent a lot of time looking for schools that I could attend to help me achieve my new goal of becoming a professional pilot.

In the meantime, I was young, single, and knew how to fly airplanes. This bolstered my popularity a bit, as I would from time to time, rent a plane and take some of the high school girls flying around town during their school lunch hour. This was always a lot of fun as we would cruise over town and circle friends and family. I can only imagine how some of the conversations went when they returned to class after lunch.

I wrote Kathy a letter, proposing that I fly up to Woodson and take her out for lunch. I never got a response, so I figured she was wrapped up in her relationship and as usual, the timing for us was not right... again. What I later found out was that she had just recently finished school there, and had moved to another city to finish up her degree. She never received the letter. I suppose it could still be floating around, or be sitting in some "dead letter" bin somewhere. Stranger things have happened.

During these few months, Madisson and I still went out from time to time. I also "dated" a few others, but none ever made a place in my heart the way that Kathy and Madisson had done. I spent the most time with Christina. We always got along very well and had a good time with each other. We never had anything physical, but she is a special person whom I would love to catch up with since we haven't spoken in probably 30 years.

Another was Sylvia who was older and had a young daughter about 5 years old. She was the roommate of one of my cousin's coworkers. I accidentally ended up in her bed about 4am one morning, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. Nothing happened that night, but it was a great lesson in the fact that you never knew what might be coming around the next corner. We had a lot of fun over the next few weeks, spending time at her house eating supper, drinking, and watching movies. Neither of us had much extra money to do things other than just hang out. Since her daughter was young and would go to bed early, we had plenty of time for other activities. She was 25-26 years old at the time, and had previously been married. For many years, I gave her full credit for my confidence when it came to women and the fun things you could with them! We wrote for a little while after that summer, but we eventually lost contact with each other and to this day, I wonder whatever became of her.

As the summer came to a close, I had decided that I would go to a technical school to pursue my aviation career. I had saved up a little money to get me started, and I figured if I could transfer with the company I was working for, I could pay for school and make ends meet... barely.

Madisson and I had still been dating through the summer, and as I was getting ready to move and enroll in school, it started to become clear that she and I were a good fit. Even after all of the Christinas', Sylvias', and a couple others, none seem to make me feel the way she did. Shortly before leaving, we got back together as an exclusive couple and never looked back.

# Hawaii... Day 4

Day 4 begins with a morning made for vacation. A lazy morning lying in bed, not in a hurry to be anywhere. I am stirred to life by the shaking of the bed as you crawl up my body, until you are straddling me. You are wearing your big red t-shirt, no bra, pink panties, and your wonderful "good morning" smile. You place your hands on the sides of my face, giving me a soft kiss on the lips.

"Good morning Baby. Are you hungry?" you ask as my hands find your breasts under your shirt.

"I'm always hungry for you," I answer as you giggle at my persistent pawing. "What's on the menu?"

"I've got fruit, cereal, and juice waiting on the lanai for you if you ever decide to get your lazy butt out of bed," you say as you pull the covers off of me and throw them to the floor. Fully exposed in the frigidness of the room, I find my board shorts and a t-shirt and quickly get dressed. I follow your deliciously jiggling ass to lanai, and take a seat at the beautifully prepared table. The sun is up, the birds are chirping, the air is cool, and I have your eyes across from me at the breakfast table. Is this Heaven or what? I make a bowl of cereal with cut up bananas, and pour some juice. Our discussion quickly turns to the agenda for the day and we decide to spend a nice relaxing day on the beach, swimming and snorkeling.

As you retreat to the bedroom to get changed and gather your things for the day, I clear the table and pack up a few drinks in the ice chest. I place a large blanket and beach towels in a bag, and then get the beach mats out of the closet. Heading to the bedroom, you step out as I approach the door. You are wearing a black one piece swim suit that stops me in my tracks. The top is tastefully cut, but your breasts are peeking out begging to be kissed. As you pass by, I turn to get a look at your lovely bottom as it is hugged by the shiny black material. You have on a big floppy black hat and sunglasses. You could be in the movies! I quickly change into my swim trunks and grab a book to read. We carry everything out to the car and in short order, we are on our way.

We stop at the small grocery store at the Princeville Center, and head for the deli department to find some pre-made sandwiches to take for lunch. Having something pre-made should be easier than dealing with the wind and sand as we try and make sandwiches on the beach.

Driving into Hanalei this morning, we notice how the clouds are really shrouding the mountains, causing numerous waterfalls with their life giving rains. These waterfalls can easily be seen, like silver icicles on an emerald green Christmas tree, some which appear to fall hundreds of feet. As we cruise into town, we stop at Hanalei Surf Company to rent snorkel gear and a couple beach chairs for the day. We are quickly fitted and with gear in hand, it's back to the Mustang and the remainder of the trip. We drive west, across the 3 one-lane bridges until we come to mile marker 8, and Tunnels Beach. As we search for a place to park, we decide to go a little further and try Ke'e Beach. Pulling into the parking area, we get lucky as someone is leaving, providing us with a great spot. We get out of the car and load our arms before making our way to the beach to find that perfect spot to spend the day. It is tough walking in the soft sands, but we soon find a nice quiet place under the shade of a tree to set up our "camp". As you spread out the mats and blankets, I returned to the car to get the chairs and snorkel gear.

Ke'e Beach is very beautiful and picturesque. It is located at the end of the road and the start of the Napali coast. As we sit back and take in the scene, it is almost too amazing to believe. This spot is like a postcard come to life. I walk over to the ice chest getting us a couple cans of diet DPs and as I hand yours to you, I give you a soft little kiss. I sit in the chair beside you, holding your hand, as our senses slowly become acclimated to this unbelievable place.

There is an abundance of sea life to explore, including urchins, fish, and honus. You have never snorkeled before, so I give you a quick "lesson" on the gear and how to use it. We walk across the warm sands to the edge of the surf and sit as we put on our fins, trying not to get too much sand in them. This proves easier said than done, but after a few minutes this task is accomplished. I help you get your mask adjusted right and we then carefully walk with our fins, a little further out, which makes us both laugh at the spectacle. With the water a bit deeper, we place our masks on and you try breathing through the snorkel. You place your face under the water for a quick trial run, and quickly get the feel of it. With your new found confidence, we slowly start to snorkel hand in hand, working our way toward the reef. The colors of the fish are so vibrant; it is like looking into an aquarium. There are numerous schools of many different colors of fish... black, blue, silver, striped, and countless others. You are amazed at their colors and the many different sizes and species. We slowly kick our way through the many channels cut through the reef. It is hard to believe there is such a different world right beneath the crystal blue waves. As we make our way around, I am momentarily startled by a large shadow off to our left, and as I turn to look, I am greeted with the sight of 3 large honus, peacefully paddling by. We slowly fall in behind the 3 sea turtles and follow them as they gracefully swim through the deep channels of the reef.

You are having the time of your life and cannot believe how easy it is to get the hang of snorkeling. You are amazed again and again as it seems that you see something more beautiful and exciting around every corner. The oranges and greens of the Parrotfish, the blues and reds of the Tang, and the blacks, oranges, and greens of the reef triggerfish... the state fish of Hawaii... the Humuhumu-nukunuku-apuaa. The vast colors of the coral and different species of sea urchins prove to be just as exciting. After about an hour or so, we are both getting worn out and head back to the beach for something to eat and drink.

After eating our lunch, we spend a little time relaxing, reading, and chatting on the beach while taking in the scenery and sounds. We take turns feeding each other ice cold grapes and then make a game of tossing them into each other's mouths. Being the pervert that I am, I can't resist tossing one down your cleavage and then volunteering to go after it. Under the circumstances, you decline my offer with a giggle, and fish it out yourself.

We go out to snorkel one last time and then return to the beach to pack things up. The car loaded, I put the top down and we start our journey back to Hanalei. The day is gorgeous, and we take our time as we stop often to take in the many sights. We arrive at the shop and return the snorkel gear and beach chairs. On the way out, I notice a coupon book on the newsstand that has an advertisement for a sunset boat ride along the Napali coast. This sounds like a lot of fun, so I ask if you would be interested, and I get a resounding "Hell Yes!" Since it is very "last minute" I give them a call, not feeling too confident that we would be able to make the tour. The lady on the phone lets me know that since she had some cancellations, there are indeed a couple spots left, if we could get there rather quickly. I told her we were only a few block away and that we were already on our way.

We parked the car and quickly paid as we were the last ones to make the trip. They quickly shuttled us out into the bay to board the boat and deliver our safety briefing. With all of the formalities done, we find us a nice spot and sit down together. I put my arm around you and you snuggle up against me as we watch the crew hoist the main sail and slowly maneuver the boat out of the bay. We notice how quickly the water turns that beautiful deep blue. This is due to the fact that there really is no continental shelf to speak of here. As we sail out of Hanalei bay and turn west along the Napali coast, we can see that a few rain showers are producing a number of beautiful rainbows. The bright pastels of the rainbow in contrast with the deep blue Pacific will be a sight that will always be etched in my mind.

We each have a refreshing mai tai and are served some delicious finger foods as we make our way down the coast. The height and colors of the sheer cliffs are hard to imagine, even though we are looking at them with our own eyes. Waterfalls, too numerous to count cascade down the jungle lined cliffs.

As the sun starts to slide closer to the horizon, the captain turns the boat around and starts to make his way back to Hanalei. With the stern now facing west, everyone gets a ringside seat to a Hawaiian sunset. The coolness of the evening air and the spray from the water makes us snuggle closer together as we watch Mother Nature paint a glorious ending to another day in this paradise. We hear plenty of "Oohs and Aahs" from the other passengers as everyone takes numerous pictures of this spectacle.

Back in the bay, the boat is anchored and the crew shuttles us back to the beach. I open your door and watch as you navigate your long body into the seat. I put the top down and it is only a matter of minutes until we are back to the highway and on our way "home".

"Today really wore me out, but I need to wash my hair. Will you come do it for me?" you seductively say as you are peeking around the door from the bathroom. I'm not sure, but I think I noticed you already being naked, so I hurry to the kitchen to make us a couple glasses of wine. I can hear the tub filling with water and when I finally arrive there, I see you up to your ears in white fluffy bubbles along with the rubber ducky "Mikey". I hand you a glass of wine as I scramble out of my clothes and slide in behind you. I spread bubbles over your shoulders and then around to your breasts. I message your breasts and shoulders for a few minutes, and then clear some bubbles out of the way so you can lean back and wet your hair. I put shampoo in my hand and slowly work it through your hair, giving you a nice scalp message in the process. As I am doing this, you are telling me how relaxing it was sitting on the beach today listening to the waves and the sound of the wind through the palm trees. You then quickly sit up, and turn to face me.

"We should go have a moonlight picnic on a beach tonight!" you excitedly declare.

"That's not a bad idea," I agree as I am still working the shampoo through your hair. As we finish our bath, we also finalize the plans for our midnight picnic. We plan to take a little bit of fruit, some chocolate macadamia nuts, and of course some wine.

As midnight approaches, we place our items in the car and exit the parking lot. We are quickly on the highway and in no time we are passing through Hanalei in search of our own little secluded midnight beach. With no other cars in sight, we pull off the road and park the car in a small clearing. We gather our picnic goodies and with the help of the full moon and a little keychain flashlight, we navigate the short distance from the car, through a thick stand of trees, and to the beach.

Once on the beach, we spread out the blanket and pour a couple glasses of red wine. The warmth of the wine going down feels nice in the cool night air. We open a bowl of fruit that has grapes, strawberries, and chunks of sweet golden pineapple. We wad up a couple beach towels to put under our heads for pillows. You snuggle up beside me as we both stare at the millions of stars spread out above us. We can hear the soothing rhythmic sounds of the waves rolling onto the shore. We are both lying there thinking this cannot possibly get any better.

I turn toward you, taking my hand and placing it on the side of your face. You close your eyes and lean harder into my hand relishing the feel. I tenderly kiss you while pulling the length of your body closer against me. I move from your lips and slowly trail kisses along your chin and down your neck. I gently run my tongue along your skin as I kiss your neck and shoulders. You respond with a soft moan and you take and move your leg over mine. I slowly leave kisses down your cleavage as I undo the buttons on your blouse one by one. I am delighted to discover that you are not wearing a bra and the cool night air causes you to stiffen. I gently nuzzle each nipple, and run my tongue across one and then the other. Your body tenses under my touch and you hungrily place your mouth on mine, kissing me hard and sucking my tongue. As I come up for a little air, I look into the bowl of fruit, finding a large, cold, ripe strawberry. I take the strawberry, and start making little circles around your nipple. The pinkness of your skin darkens, and the hardness escalates as it elongates with excruciating sensations of pleasure. While the strawberry is having its way with one nipple, my lips and tongues are having their way with the other. I gently suck and then slowly move my head side to side with your nipple between my teeth. Your moans are now considerably louder as you try and push yourself harder against me. The heat of your body has now warmed the strawberry which I then place to your lips and you take a big bite out of it. I place what's left into my mouth and kiss you as the taste of each other and the strawberry mix into a potent cocktail. I again look into the bowl of fruit finding a large, cold, juicy, chunk of pineapple. Again I take the piece of fruit and paint circles around your nipple. The juice runs down your cleavage and down to your bellybutton. As the fruit warms, I place it to your mouth and you bite it in half and eat it while I eat the other half. One more time I kiss you deeply taking in the mixture of us and the fruit. I then move down, licking the juice from between your breasts and make my way further to your bellybutton. I trace little circles around it before dipping my tongue into the now warm pineapple juice in your bellybutton. At the same time, I move my hand up the leg of your shorts until I find the moistness between your legs. Slipping a finger under your panties, I am greeted by the wetness that says you are more than ready to unload your tension. Removing my finger, I move my hand up to the button on your shorts and then make quick work of the zipper. I kneel beside you as I help you slide off your shorts and then lean back down and place kisses on the front of your white cotton panties as I slide them off as well, revealing your beautifully manicured sex. You are now grabbing the side of my head as your push yourself hard against my tongue and in a matter of seconds, you are exploding in orgasm as you continue to move your sex rhythmically over my mouth and tongue.

You spiral back down as I lay and hold you and I find my wine to take a few drinks. While my lips are to the glass, I can smell the arousing mixture of you and the wine. This intoxicating bouquet goes straight to my crotch as I feel myself getting harder for your body. With a couple more sips of wine, I roll on top of you kissing your hard and thrusting my tongue into your eager mouth. You suck it hard as you dig your nails into the side of my neck and grind your crotch into mine. I slide down to your breasts, grabbing each one in my hands and sucking hard with your nipples between my teeth. You wrap your legs around me rubbing yourself harder and harder against me. Releasing your breasts I slide back down placing my mouth on your sex and running my tongue slowly from the bottom to the top. You respond by using your fingers to open yourself to me while you frantically feed your body to me. I gently slip a couple fingers inside you and slowly move them in and out. Your moans have now turned into quiet screams of pleasure as you hysterically buck yourself against me before releasing your love into my mouth and deliciously over my tongue. You beg me to stop as you wrap your legs tightly around my head so I can no longer move against you. As your breathing finally returns, you let me come up for air and a much needed sip of wine.

As we lay on the blanket, again looking up at the stars, you run your fingernails over my chest getting an immediate reaction out of me. You move your hand down to my crotch feeling me quickly coming to life again. You unsnap and unzip my shorts as you sit up to help me get out of them. You take your hand and slowly stroke me as I come to full attention. You move down, taking me into your mouth as you slowly move up and down. You expertly run your tongue along the underside as you look into my eyes with a loving smile on your face. My eyes are rolling back as I slowly watch myself disappear into your mouth. You keep this up for a few more minutes as I slowly run my fingers through your beautiful moonlit blonde hair. Feeling that familiar twitch, I know it won't be long and I roll you over, placing myself between your legs and entering your body. You draw your knees up high as I thrust deeper and deeper until I can no longer hold it and cry out as the ecstasy rips through my body and I spill myself into you. I collapse onto you in a heap as your body continues to pull every ounce of pleasure out of me.

I wake to the sounds of the waves and the feeling of your warm, beautiful, spent, naked body against me. I gently wake you so we can dress and pack up our stuff. As we drive the, deserted, early morning road back to Princeville, the car is very quiet and very.... Contented...

# Chapter Five

"Is staying in love,

Really as hard as it seems?

I see more and more people,

Splitting apart at the dream.

How can two people

In love with each other,

Stop so easily.

What ever happened to what they used to be?

What ever happened to old fashion love

Where people stayed with each other because.

They said that they would, 'neath the stars above.

What ever happened to old fashion love.

_"Old Fashion Love"_ _~ John Conlee_ 2

In the Fall of 1982, I enrolled at a technical school, in their Aircraft Pilot Training Program. It was an exciting new chapter in my life since it was the first time I was living on my own, away from my family and friends. I worked 3-4 days a week along with school. This didn't leave too much time to get into trouble, which was a good thing. I made a trip back home 2-3 times a month to see Madisson and we talked once or twice a week on the phone.

I made numerous friends at school and at my job, but remained a "good boy", holding on to my commitment to Madisson.

I eventually graduated in the Spring of 1984, with an Associate Degree. I held a commercial pilot certificate, with an instrument rating, along with being a certificated flight instructor, and ground instructor. I got a job instructing as a way to build my flight hours. My timing could not have been worse. The economy was in a down-ward spiral. People were struggling to get by. Because of numerous governmental policies, companies were getting rid of their corporate aircraft, and new students were few and far between. Having busted my butt for the last few years, I was tired of scraping by, and when I eventually got laid off from that job, I returned to the grocery industry for a predictable paycheck.

Madisson and I married in 1984. We lived in the town where I went to technical school for about a year, and then she was offered a job in Ashland, TX. We wanted to get closer to family, but still wanted to be in a bigger city, so Ashland seemed like a great spot. I too transferred with my company and we moved in July of 1985, and bought a new home in late December of 1986. She eventually moved up through new opportunities and I also moved up in the management ranks at the grocery company. Our daughter Amy was born in June of 1990.

Throughout the years of our marriage, it was comfortable and predictable. In my opinion there was no intimacy, meaning that we were more like roommates with a daughter. Don't misunderstand, I loved her, but it wasn't that all-consuming love we had experienced early on. I know that things change over time, but this was different, and for different reasons. When I had ended our relationship years earlier before going off to school, it had really stuck with her... which I guess is understandable. She said she felt that I had settled for her because I didn't find anyone else. But shouldn't that be a good thing? After going out with other people, I did not find anyone else that I wanted to spend my life with. To me, that should be a very comforting thought.

After 25 plus years of marriage, I felt like she should have been over this feeling. I had been 100% faithful in the traditional sense of the word. I didn't hang out at clubs or titty bars. I only drank socially, had never raised a hand to her, always worked hard, and tried over the years to make special occasions... well... special. I had taken her on surprise trips for her birthday or anniversaries. I had arranged for babysitters so we could spend time to ourselves, having dinner cooked, a nice hot bubble bath with rose petals, wine and candles waiting for her. I took care of the yard, the bills, the cars, cooked 90% of the meals, planned vacations, did my own laundry, and my fair share or more of the housework. I'm not trying to "toot my horn" here, I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that I was really trying to do my part in the relationship to keep things going and to keep the fires burning.

As time went on, I became increasingly frustrated with how things were going. I had tried to address this frustration on a few occasions, but things only got better for a while, then went back to how they were before. Although I had been faithful, I did stumble emotionally a couple times over the years. Nothing ever became physical, and I usually ended up feeling horrible about how I had let my feelings get wrapped up in someone else. Although I may have had "fantasies" about how I would have liked things to be going in my life, I knew they were just that.... "fantasies". Over the years, I had imagined from time to time, what it would be like to be on my own again. I know that sounds kind of pathetic, but I'm sure down deep inside, everyone has these thoughts at one time or another. Not sure these are things that most people would like to admit to, but I still think they are there. When I was still flying airplanes, this was an exercise we used often. We called it the "what if" scenario. "What if" my engine quit right now, what would I do?

As time went on, I would play that game with my life. "If I were single now, what would I do?" Would I remain in my present job? Would I move to another city? When the time was right, what qualities in a woman would be important to me? Playing this game didn't mean that I was ready to leave my marriage. As bad as it seemed, I had a lot of time invested, not to mention a daughter, plus a wife that I really did love. I felt that our relationship deserved every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears we had, to give it every possible chance to survive. I could not have imagined throwing that all away, to chase some crazy dream of a life or relationship that could never possibly exist... or at least I didn't think it could exist in the real world.

Little did I know, my thoughts on this subject would soon change...

# Hawaii... Day 5

After a long breathtaking night on the beach, we are slow to get moving this morning... but it was well worth it. As I slowly move my legs under the covers, I realize that we are probably going to have to change the sheets. We were both extremely exhausted... content... but exhausted, when we came in early this morning. We did not take time to jump into the shower, so there seems to be plenty of beach sand in the bed. Not the best of feelings.

I had adjusted the temperature on the air conditioner yesterday, so the room is not quite as cold as the past couple of days. You are still sleeping with your back toward me and your gorgeous bare bottom up against my front side. I slowly take my hand and run it from your shoulder, down your arm, across that luscious bottom, and finally down your leg toward your knee. This causes you to stir a little and I hear a soft moan as my hand makes its journey. You wriggle your butt against me harder while reaching behind you pulling my head to the back of your neck. I softly kiss your neck and wrap my arms around you pulling you tightly against me. If the good Lord wants to take me now... so be it. I can't think of a better way to go than with your naked body in my arms.

"Are you ready to get up? You softly ask.

"Why? This feels really nice. Can't we just stay here like this all day?" I counter.

"Well I can't argue with that Honey. However, I've had about all I can handle of this sand in the bed. I can't believe you would actually go to bed without taking a shower first," you giggle.

"Me? I'm sure all of this sand came from me. If I remember correctly, you were in the bed before me!"

"Are you sure you are remembering things correctly? Don't forget. You are older than me... just saying," you reply barely able to contain your laughter.

"Whatever," I groan. "Any ideas what you want to do today?"

"You mean other than taking a shower and getting the sand out of the bed?"

"Well Duh. I don't think those things will take all day... however, spending the day in the shower with you isn't such a bad idea."

"Yes Sweetie. That doesn't sound half bad, although after a while, I'm sure I may be a little too wrinkly for your liking! How about we find some breakfast. Maybe that little diner we passed on the way to the canyon?"

"You want prunes for breakfast?"

"See Dear. You are older than me. I say "wrinkly" and you think "prunes". Maybe we can stop and get you a walker along the way!"

With that, I slap you on the behind as you head into the bathroom, only to stop and turn around and motion for me to "come here". You plant a long soft kiss on my lips and then look me in the eyes.

"Good morning. I love you Michael."

You spin around and disappear into the bathroom. I find my boxers and go into the kitchen to get something to drink. I make a couple pieces of toast, knowing it is quite a drive back to the diner. I return to the bedroom, and begin stripping the sheets from the bed. I quickly shake the sheets only to see quite a bit of sand hit the floor. I guess I'm going to have to tip the housekeepers a little extra for all of the vacuuming they are gonna have to do. I look in the closet and find a set of fresh sheets. It doesn't take long and I have the bed made and ready for later. As I am gathering what I want to wear today, you come out of the bathroom and announce that it is all mine. You look luscious in your lime green capris and sky blue tank top. You head to the kitchen and I hit the shower to get ready for our day.

Hitting the stairs on the way to the parking lot, we notice that it is drizzling quite hard this morning. Although it is a slight inconvenience, it is well worth putting up with since it keeps this paradise so lush and green. Since we will be keeping the top up for a while, I put in the Hawaiian Bubble Bath CD for our drive to Eleele, on the western side of the island. With the top up, there will be less wind noise so we will be able to enjoy the soft sultry sounds of this music. On the highway now, you open a can of POG juice for me and use your fingers to feed me some ice cold chunks of fresh pineapple. You alternate between each of us and I am thoroughly enjoying watching you lick the juice from your fingers. You notice me watching you with a grin on my face, and you proceed to make a real show of the next piece of pineapple you eat.

"What is that big grin all about Honey?" you innocently inquire.

"What do you think? Just enjoying the show Babe... although I must admit things are getting a bit uncomfortable down here... just saying..." I report.

"I'm sorry. I will behave myself. You need to keep your eyes on the road anyway."

You feed me another piece of pineapple and then reach into your bag. Your hand comes out with Mikey and you place him on the dash as our lookout. You cover what's left of the pineapple and put the container back into the bag. You lean your seat back a little and get comfortable for the next hour or so of our trip.

Since it is mid-morning, we make good time getting through Kapaa and Lihue. Eleele is a small community very close to Hanapepe, and as we roll into town, we see Grinds off to our left. We pull in and find a spot to park.

It feels good to get out a stretch a bit, and I swat you on the butt as we enter the diner. It smells wonderful! The aroma of fresh brewed coffee and baked goods makes our stomachs really start to growl. We find a booth, and start looking over the menu. The waitress comes by and we both decide on coffee as we are still trying to recuperate from our night on the beach. Looking at the menu, I choose the basic breakfast with scrambled eggs, spam, and potatoes.

"Spam? You're going to have Spam with your breakfast?" you ask with an eyebrow raised.

"Of course! You have to have Spam when you're in Hawaii. It's tradition here."

"Whatever... I think I will stick with bacon if you don't mind. At least I have an idea about what part of the pig it comes from,"

After checking out the menu, you order a spinach, bacon, mushroom, and Swiss cheese omelet. With our orders taken, the waitress disappears and we each work on our coffee... a little Splenda, a little cream. After a couple sips of coffee, we are both amazed at how good it is. We ask the waitress what kind of coffee it is and she says, "Kauai Coffee... What else?" We had noticed the coffee plantation on our drive here, and decide that we will go and tour it after breakfast. Our food arrives and it smells heavenly. Not much is said as we devour our breakfast. I guess we didn't realize how hungry we were. And yes... the spam was delicious!

Heading east, it does not take long, before we make a right turn into the parking lot of the Kauai Coffee Company. We look through the visitors' center and watch a video of how they raise coffee on Kauai. It's a pretty amazing operation, and the scenery on the property is amazing. This coffee farm is the largest in the US and we spend a few minutes strolling through the orchards. They have lots of samples to try, and we soon find our favorites and purchase some of each in the gift shop along with a new magnet for the fridge. We find out that you can only purchase it on Kauai, by mail order, or from time to time, find it at World Market back home. We take a picture of their beautiful grounds, (no pun intended) and then it's on to Lihue.

We roll into Lihue and you want to do a little shopping for some new aloha wear. We stop in at Hilo Hattie's which is a store with lots of Hawaiian clothes and gift ideas. We are greeted at the door with a shell lei and fresh juice. You can easily spend an hour or more looking through all of their clothes, books, videos, candles, and countless other items that are begging you to take them home. You finally settle on an elegant black sundress with green leaves and red and yellow hibiscus flowers in the print. It has wide straps on the shoulders, tastefully low cut, and mid-calf in length. It looks absolutely perfect on you. After a little more shopping, you find some items for Jessica and Tommie, and I found a new aloha shirt... big surprise huh?

We head up the east coast, or Coconut Coast, and stop to see the waterfall that was used on the old TV show "Fantasy Island". We get out and walk the paths to get the perfect picture.

We then stop at a heiau, or sacred place. A heiau was also known as a place of refuge. Here the women, children, the old, and the injured, came so they would be safe from any conquering tribes in ancient times. There are countless heiaus throughout the islands, and all hold special meaning and power to the believers. Ancient Hawaiians had a complex culture and religious system. Heiaus were also built as a place people could redeem themselves and seek forgiveness from their transgressions.

We continue to Wailua, and to the beautiful Fern Grotto. To get to the grotto, you must travel up the Wailua River, the only navigable river in the Hawaiian Islands. The Fern Grotto is a place where thousands of weddings have been celebrated over the years. It's a naturally formed grotto, with many ferns hanging from the ceiling. The hurricanes of the recent past have had a dramatic impact on it, but it is still a beautiful place to see.

On the boat ride back, they have a band that plays Hawaiian songs and hula dancers teach all that want to give it a try. As you listen intently and follow their directions, I sit and admire your beauty as you sway your body to the music. You are a quick learner and I am quickly getting hypnotized by the movements of your delicious body. In my trance, I do not notice that you have turned to see me staring at you.

"What's that grin on your face all about Sweetie?"

We get in the car and head back to Princeville. The rain has stopped, the top is down, and we are lost in thought as we make our way up the coast. We have reservations for dinner in about an hour and a half, so we will not have much time to get ready.

After your shower, you step into the living room in your new sundress. "Wow" is all I can say. You are stunning! Am I the luckiest man on earth or what? I give you a kiss and proudly take your hand as we leave for dinner. It is a short drive to the St. Regis Princeville Hotel, and we drop the car off with the valet at the front door. We enter the lobby, and ask for directions to the Makana Terrace Island Bistro. At the restaurant the waiter shows us to our table on the terrace overlooking incredible Hanalei Bay. Our timing cannot be more perfect, as we will be able to witness another glorious sunset during our meal. We order a bottle of merlot, and begin the difficult task of deciding what to order from the tantalizing menu. Coconut Chili Marinated Kauai Prawns will be my appetizer, with a 6oz Filet Mignon, asparagus, and lobster potatoes for the main course. You decide on Kona Lobster Kula Corn Bisque for your appetizer and Ahi Steak, asparagus, and whipped Molokai sweet potatoes for your main dish. Does this sound yummy or what?

The wine and conversation is flowing freely, and the gentle breeze keeps me filled with the delicious bouquet that can only be you. Our meal arrives it is unbelievable how delicious it is. Every bite seems better than the last. After clearing our plates, we are presented with dessert menus. Do I really have room for dessert? On the other hand, if dessert is prepared as well as the main course, how could we pass it up?

With much deliberation, Makana Fudge Brownie Sundae will be on its way to me, and Kauai Coffee Custard on its way to you. With our eyes rolling back into our heads, we take bite after bite. How can something be so delicious? Taking the last bite of dessert, we raise our glasses to each other as the sun finally touches the shimmering waves of the Pacific. I lean across the table to give you a kiss, tasting the wine and dessert on your lips.

With the sunlight fading, the light from the tiki torches reflect in your eyes and off your silky blonde hair. Satisfied to just look at you from across the table, you give me your beautiful smile and then excuse yourself to the ladies room.

As I sit at the table awaiting your return, I take a moment to once again thank God for all that I have. I've always tried to be a good person, but my rewards have surpassed my wildest dreams. You finally return and I stand to pull out your chair for you. You kiss my cheek and then take your seat, with a most intriguing smile on your face. You stretch your downturned hand across the table and say, "Here's a little something for you to think about." You turn your hand over and open it, revealing your black lace panties. My jaw almost hits the table as I discreetly take them from you while taking in your essence from the still warm lace.

"Check please," I say raising my hand, looking for that damn waiter. He was always under foot, but now that I need him, his ass is nowhere to be found.

"Put your hand down Baby. We aren't going anywhere yet," you instruct. "I'm going to make you sit here and squirm for a little bit. Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you later?" You take a sip of wine and slowly run your tongue along your glistening lips. You look into my eyes with a fire so hot I'm ready for the table to go up in flames. You move your hand into your lap and under your napkin. You then reach across the table saying "It looks like you have a little crumb right there," as you touch the corner of my mouth, your essence on your finger exploding in my senses. "Intoxicating?" you ask. You run your foot up the inside of my leg gently stroking the inside of my thigh.

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is going to be for me to walk to the car?" I protest... but only slightly.

"Sounds like a personal problem to me."

I pour the remainder of the wine into our glasses, as the waiter finally makes his appearance. As I drink the last bit of wine from my glass, you bend down to put your sandal back on. I have a perfect view down the front of your dress, as your breasts are doing all they can to remain inside, your hardened nipple the only thing keeping the fabric in place.

"Your card Sir. I hope you had a wonderful dinner," the waiter says as he startles me.

"Yes... It was magnificent. Are you ready Dear?"

I help you up from your chair and we quickly make our way to the valet. I am so happy that I decided not to tuck my Aloha shirt in, as it is the only thing hiding the obvious situation going on down south.

The valet pulls the car up, and I help you in, and quickly go around the car so we can leave. I drive a block up the street and pull off the road, quickly putting it in park and leaning across the seat, kissing you long and hard. You hold the sides of my face as you run your tongue into my mouth. Do I have the strength to make it back to the condo?

Back in my seat, I drive as fast as I can, praying that we won't be delayed by a speeding ticket. Once parked, it takes forever to get back inside, as we seem to stop every few feet for a long kiss, grinding our bodies into each other. It seemed like an eternity as I tried to extricate the keys from my pocket and get the door unlocked. Once inside, I pull the dress over your head and step back for a second, taking in the view of your incredible body, as you stand there in nothing more than your sandals. You grab me by the shirt, pulling me to you, again kissing me hard and deep. Unbuttoning my shirt, you run your nails down my chest sending shivers to every inch of my body. You take me by the hand, and lead me into the bedroom, where I'll never have a chance.

I sure am glad the sheets were fresh....

# Chapter Six

"There was a time.

You had no need for rhythm or rhyme.

The world seemed so wild and so free.

Just wrap yourself up in a dream.

All you had to do was believe,

And nothing was out of your reach.

So sure how it all falls in line.

It's just a matter of time...

Then you wake up one day,

All your dreams somehow faded away.

The road that you followed, it turned.

Can't find where the fire once burned.

Can't look yourself straight in the eye.

In your heart of hearts you've compromised.

Baby one day we all cross that line.

It's just a matter of time.

All alone in the still of the night.

You come face to face with the fight,

And how much you wanted it all.

Can't believe how you've taken the fall.

Then you reach out one day,

To the light of a new dawning day.

You take just one small grain of sand,

Right into the palm of your hand.

And maybe you'll find in the end.

You're able to dream once again.

And Baby you fall back in line.

It's just a matter of time..."

_"Just a Matter of Time" ~_ _John Cafferty_ 3

Throughout the years of my working for the grocery company, I always felt that to get to where I wanted to be financially in life, I would need to do something different. ( although I still work with the grocery company since they provide a reasonable way for me to get benefits) I became involved in the retirement planning business in the mid 1980's and hooked up with my partner Kelly in the late 90's. We have been working together since, and he has kind of become a father figure to me. We always talk about sports, computers, and airplanes. It was he who first suggested I get on "Facebook" because they had some neat games to play.

I really never had any desire to get on "Facebook". Although I had a "Myspace" account, I only had it so I could get information for a local band that I followed. They had closed down their homepage, and had migrated over to "Myspace".

I reluctantly agreed to open a FB account so we could play the games he was telling me about. (ironically we never played those games). After a week or so of getting used to what "Facebook" was and what it had to offer, I started getting kind of addicted to it as most people do at first. Always having to check and see what your handful of friends had posted or see what they may have commented about a post you made.

Things at home had become quite boring and every day seemed to be the same old routine. Work, come home, make supper, and watch a show or two on television. My wife and daughter liked shows on the Syfy or Chiller Channel... "B" movies, which didn't hold my attention much. They would stay up until 1-2 in the morning watching these shows. I usually retreated upstairs to relax on the bed and watch sports, or a movie I was interested in. At the same time, I would boot up my laptop and surf the net. After finding FB, there were usually friends on there that I could chat with. Such was my life for many, many, months. I slowly started adding friends to my list, and one night I decided to try and search out Kathy. I had a few hits, and realized that one of them was her, so I sent a friend request. It did not take long to get a confirmation and after that, I went to her profile to see more about what she was doing these days. I found out that she was married, with two children, and living upstate. They had just put a contract on a beautiful new home, and were excited about being able to move into it in the coming months. I never posted on her wall, sent her a message, or opened a chat with her. I was excited I found her, but it appeared her life was going well and plus I wasn't sure about how she felt about me since she never replied to my letter years ago. (I didn't realize at this time that she never received it)

A few months later, I was chatting with a friend one night, and they had to sign off. I wasn't tired, and was looking for something else to do, when I noticed that Kathy was online and "available". I took a deep breath, and typed "Hi there... How are you?" She said "hi" back and then I asked if she had a couple minutes because I had something I wanted to ask her about.

Back when I was going to college, my roommate was from a town very close to Providence. He drove a Mustang and had mentioned that he bought it from someone that, I was sure, was the guy that Kathy was dating back in high school. Not only that, but the day I went to visit Kathy, her boyfriend was supposed to be out of town because he was going to pick up an old Mustang that he was going to sell. What a weird coincidence.

Kathy said she had time, so ask away. I proceeded to tell her the story about the Mustang and my roommate. I know it was a lame story, but it was true and it was something to start a conversation with. We ended up laughing about it, and started asking each other what we were doing these days. As the conversation went on, she said she was in kind of a "mood", and it was nice to have someone to talk to. She was being a little reflective on life, and made mention of how strange it is to think how some little, insignificant decision we might make, could totally change the course of our lives. I agreed and said, "Yeah... but that's life". We can't always worry about the decisions of the past, although in hindsight, there are probably a number of them we would like to change. We talked a little longer, said our goodbyes, and that was that.

About a week later, I happened to be in a "mood" and saw that she again was online. So I opened a chat with her, and we ended up talking for quite some time. We talked about the old days, what high school was like, and I told her the story about how I ate pancakes without syrup when I had come to visit her years ago. She said she didn't remember that, but thought it was hilarious. We had a good laugh about it and she asked why I didn't just ask for syrup. I told her that I was pretty nervous and didn't know what I would have done if there wasn't any. She again laughed, and said that she remembered her mom saying that she could tell I probably had a big crush on her... which I did.

We talked about our kids, and how proud we were of them. She said she had a hard time conceiving, but she finally had a daughter, Jessica, who was 14 now. She told me about her son Tommie, who they adopted as an infant a few years earlier. He was going to be 5 later that year. We talked about our parents, and where they were, and our relationships with them. I told her I remembered her dad being very tall and how he used to scare me with his big bear yawns.

After talking about an hour or so, we decided it was time to turn in for the night. She asked if I did much texting on my phone. I said yes, from time to time, and she gave me her number and said if I was ever in a line and needed to pass some time, to text her. I copied the number down and immediately put it into my phone. We said our "goodbyes" and signed off for the night.

The next morning I had an appointment to do a 401k plan review with a local dentist who was a client of mine. As I sat down in my van, I could not get Kathy out of my mind, and how nice it was talking with her the previous night. I decided I would send her a text, with the excuse of making sure I had copied her number down correctly. I typed it out and sent it. It didn't take long before I got a response that said "Good morning" and yes I had got the number correct. My heart was pounding! I immediately sent her a text back and then she responded again. We sent texts back and forth until I arrived at my appointment. I told her that I would be "out of pocket" for a little bit, but I would text her when I got through. She said "good" because she had some work to do also, and we both laughed. I rushed through my appointment as fast as I could, and was typing a text as soon as I walked out of the door. She immediately replied and it basically continued that way for the next four months or so... my heart pounding every time I heard the chime of a new incoming text.

That night we both could hardly wait to get on FB and continue the conversation that seemed to go on all day. We were laughing about how much fun it was, not having a clue as to where it would eventually lead....

# Hawaii...Day 6

After an incredible night, we again sleep in late....because we are on vacation...and that is what you should do on vacation! I lay awake and watch you in dreamland while wondering to myself what you may be dreaming. You are laying on your side facing me, your beautiful blonde hair falling over your face and eyes. The look on your face is so peaceful. Not wanting to disturb you, I gently sneak out of bed, find my shorts and t-shirt, and head for the kitchen. I open the door to the lanai, letting in the cool morning breeze, the sound of the birds, and the voice of the gentle morning rain.

With my prayers of thankfulness done, I retreat to the kitchen and start some breakfast. It doesn't take long and the bacon, eggs, and toast, are residing on a tray along with some juice. Carrying the tray to the bedroom, I use my butt as I bump the door open, then have to actually wake you up since you had fallen back asleep.

"Wake up Sleepy-head. Time for a little breakfast in bed."

"Really? You had to wake me up now? But I just ran into Matthew McConnaughey on the beach," you giggle.

"Well tell Matt you are going to be busy for the next 40 or 50 years. I'm sure he will understand."

"Wow... This smells really yummy."

I get a sleepy little smile as I stroke your hair, trying to tame your sexy bed head. I put pillows behind your back as you sit up, pulling the cool sheets under your arms to keep yourself covered.

"This is really delicious. I can't believe I am even hungry after that wonderful dinner last night. Breakfast in bed. How sweet. Good morning Babe. I love you," you say giving me a soft, grape jelly flavored kiss.

We eat breakfast and talk about what to do today, before leaving the Garden Isle tomorrow, for the Big Island of Hawaii. We decide to drive back to Lihue, and visit the Kauai Museum plus hit some of the other shopping areas we have not yet visited. We also are going to take the last bit of our lunch items and have one last picnic on a Kauai beach.

It doesn't take long, and we are on the road. The rain has stopped, the top is down, and classic country music is pounding from the speakers. You hold my hand as we cruise the tree lined highways on the drive to Lihue which only takes about 45 minutes this morning.

Arriving at the museum, we park and my hand finds your back pocket as we make our way up the sidewalk to the entrance. Once inside, we start our "journey" of what is Kauai. The museum is very well laid out, with a generous history of what and who make up Kauai. Not only do you get a geological history, but also a history of the people who have settled this beautiful corner of the globe. Ancient Polynesians, whalers, traders, sugar barons, missionaries, politicians, and countless others who have influenced the people of Kauai. Whaling, sugar cane, shipping, and the military have also had a major impact on what is the diverse culture of this island. We spend a couple hours here and decide it is getting time for a little shopping and a late lunch.

We walk hand in hand back to Eiwa Street and our car. I drive to the corner making a left on Rice Street and then it's on to the shopping area adjacent to Kalapaki Beach and the Marriott. We wander into Tropical Tantrum and you quickly find a very gorgeous dress you want to wear to dinner tonight. It has a tropical pattern of purples, blacks, and blues, with spaghetti straps, and a hanky hem that is between your calves and ankles. It also comes with a matching wrap. It goes perfectly with your blond hair and your playful eyes. With our purchases in hand, we head out to find a picnic table at Kalapaki Beach. Being early afternoon, we are lucky and find an empty one. You sit on the table to "hold" it for us while I return to the car for our lunch items and ice chest. It is a bittersweet picnic since this will be our last full day on Kauai. We take in the beautiful surroundings of this popular beach and even see as cruise ship as it sails into Nawiliwili Harbor. We finish up the last of the chips, drinks, and cookies before emptying the ice chest and returning to the car.

We drive back to Wailua and Kapa'a and stop at the Coconut Market Place...basically an outdoor mall. We cruise through the shops picking up last minute gifts from Kauai, to take back the folks at home. You find lots of T-shirts with honus and sharks for Tommie and lots and lots of jewelry for Jessica. We find a couple more magnets and post cards before putting our stuff in the car and making our way into Kapaa'. Not being able to pass the ABC store without stopping, we pull into the parking lot and also notice the Wyland Gallery. We take a few minutes to view the work of this talented artist and as we walk in hand in hand, we are quickly mesmerized by his beautiful work. There are lots of different painting styles and sculptures and we eventually settle on a lovely reef print to purchase.

One last stroll through the ABC Store, we find a few more trinkets, some chocolate covered macadamia nuts, and another bottle of wine for later.

With the wind in your hair, and the warm afternoon sun on your skin, we are making the trip up the beautiful coastline to Princeville, one last time. You give me a little smile, letting me know you realize our wonderful time in this paradise will be ending soon. We stop and take a few more pictures, holding each other as we marvel at the beauty of this special place... not saying a word.

We get back to the condo, and start to get ready for dinner. Under the watchful eye of Mikey, the rubber duck, we shower to take off the sea salt and humidity of the day. I wash your hair, as you lean against me while the water beats the aches out of your muscles. I massage the lather through your hair as you seem to melt into my arms. I rinse your hair and we dry off as it takes all of our will power not to be late for dinner.... You dry your hair, apply a little makeup, put on your new dress and step into the living room where I get my first glimpse of my, beautiful, enchanting woman. I can't take my eyes off of you, as I take you in my arms and kiss you deeply, but softly.

We take the short drive to the St. Regis Princeville Resort Hotel. I pull the car to the front and hand the keys to the valet while the other gentleman opens your door, taking your hand and helping you out. We are greeted with beautiful, fragrant, Plumeria leis and then escorted to our place for dinner, with all eyes following you. Heads continue to turn as we make our way through the lobby and to our table. Your beauty tonight is breathtaking.

Tonight I have surprised you with our own private, romantic dinner. I've been planning this for some time, as I knew you would just love having someone finally cater to your every need at dinner for once. Finally the shoe is on the other foot and you are being treated as the queen. Below is a short description of your very special dinner on our last night in the unbelievable corner of the world.

* * *

Romantic Dinner

The St. Regis Princeville Romantic Dining Experience is...

...a truly private and memorable dining experience for two, at a beautiful outdoor setting enhanced by soft candlelight and Hawaiian torchlight.

Your private wait staff will greet you in the lobby with a lei presentation and escort you to your secluded dining area where a chilled bottle of champagne awaits you as you begin an evening of uncompromising enchantment.

Your exclusive four-course dinner is designed specially for you by one of our award winning chefs and includes wine pairings by our St. Regis Sommelier.

* * *

We have the most wonderful dinner ever. Everyone that walks by has to take a little longer glance in our direction, as they are as enchanted with you as am I. The food is excellent, the wine better, and the company even better than that. The sunset from our vantage point is breathtaking.

"Honey... I really don't know what to say. This place. This trip. It has been so much more than I ever imagined," you share. "I now know why you always have such hard time describing this place to me."

"Gorgeous isn't it? Almost as gorgeous as you! You look incredible tonight Kathy. I can't tell you how I feel knowing that you are in my life. You complete my life in so many ways. Here's to you. To us," I say raising my glass to you.

Finally finishing our dessert and the last of the wine, we are escorted back to the front of the hotel and to our awaiting car... again... all eyes follow you.

We arrive back at our condo, and open the last bottle of wine. It is our last night on Kauai, and we are going to do the night right. We retreat to the lanai and you sit on my lap with your arms around me. We hold each other in the cool air, as we listen to the gentle sounds of the night. You softly whisper in my ear and gently place wet kisses along my neck. The wine isn't the only thing raising the temperature in my body. The heavy breathing of your kisses and the lovely smell of your perfume are starting to have a profound effect on me. I run my hands along your back and then slowly under your dress and panties, as I stroke your bare bottom.

"I think it's time to take this show inside," I can barely get out through your kisses.

"Thought you would never ask Baby."

We slowly find our way inside with our hands all over each other. I pour the last of the wine, and hand yours to you as you stand in front of me. You take a sip, and I kiss you, tasting the wine on your lips. I set my glass down, as I gently grab your hair pulling your head to the side, revealing your beautiful neck which I slowly kiss, stopping at your ear, as I tell you how much I love you and how unbelievable you made me feel just having you with me tonight. I slowly slip the straps off of your shoulders, and your dress slowly falls to the floor. You stand before me.... in black lace... totally taking my breath away. I take your hand and lead you to the bedroom... embarking on a night that dreams are made of.

# Chapter Seven

"If your world comes crashing down.

If you need comfort but it can't be found.

If you're lonely you can always call on me.

If nobody is listening to you.

I'll be the walls you tell your secrets to.

If you want me...night or day... just call on me.

I'm not asking for rings of gold.

Just one ring on my telephone.

I'm just wanting a chance to prove.

That my love is true,

If it connects with you...

Call on me..."

_"Call on Me"_ _~ Tanya Tucker_ 4

* * *

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: here ya go

You know things are starting to make sense to me now (after reading that). Guess I can now understand the connection that we seem to be having. I, too, have had some trust issues with Scott, only its been from a different angle. Guess I'm gonna skip ahead to the last twenty two years that we have been married and start from there. Will fill you in on the missing pieces at a later date..............

........I decided to forgive him for his actions. It took me about a week to come to grips with all of this. And I can't believe I'm even telling you this. as I have not spoken of it much since it happenned. Although, like you said. once things are "out there" you cannot take them back. I have not been able to fully "trust" him as I did when we were first married, and don't think I'll ever be able to again.

Funny how this is all coming out now, isnt it? This is pretty much what I was "rambling on" about the first night you began "chatting" with me....how you can choose one path. and things happen...

Anyway, we've been married for 22 years now, I do not ask him certain things anymore. I really dont say "I love you" like I used to, and yes, we "go through the motions" with the "kissing each other goodbye and hello". There is some passion there, but guess everyone has to have that now and again, right? lol

It is weird how you can be gone for awhile, and just be "taken for granted" upon your return. I (too), clean the house, cook the meals, do the laundry, take care or the kids, and pretty much run things while he is working, He works 24/7, 7 days a week, never home, and when he calls me, is usually too busy to talk. Hence, thats why I'm so enjoying talking to someone who truly seems to listen.

Anyways, i know I've been rambling again.,,,,as I usually have a tendency to do. Hope I didnt shock you too much.

Kath

* * *

Kathy:

Are you there? I miss you.... and for some strange reason I cannot get you out of my "head"...

kat

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Random stuff

Having lunch at chickfila listenig to music on my phone. .yep..a #1 and DP....no extra pickles or mayo...sorry!

Not sure what I want to say...might just babble.

You asked if M knows of you. Basically no. I told her way back when we originally exchanged letters.. She didn't seem too thrilled...imagine that! She doesn't know that I ever went to visit you. It was one of those things I wanted/needed to do. Since there wasn't anything between us, it didn't make any sense to tell her. Probably would do more harm than good. Hard to believe that was 30 years ago.

Was listening to random songs this morning, and one popped up that I need to send to you. I don't think it is on youtube, but I will check. It really is a very fitting song. Hopefully it will make you smile, not cry!

Have you heard from Jessica? When do they play? I guess they might not be back until early Monday huh?.

Ok...my eyes hurt reading this little damn screen. Hopefully this is readable! I could be just typing random letters and not know it !

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Random stuff

no, you werent babbling. sitting here on the sofa (taking a break), listening to merle haggard...what can i say. thinking about getting lunch, not sure what i feel like. had the #1 from chick fil a yesterday, yes with extra pickles and mayo, and a diet dp...was quite yummy. been raining quite a bit this morning. nothing too severe though ~~ thank goodness.

was just curious about M. I've never mentioned you to Scott either, as you said, there was nothing between us ~ you were always such a sweetheart. even though you do like dry pancakes... lol

dont know why you are in my head so much these days....guess it is just so good to talk to you again after all these years. it is so nice to be able to talk about "things" and not have any reason for it, you know? Scott called this morning, has yet to say "Hello how are you"....been giving me updates about the games. Jessica is doing well, they have won both their sets this morning, and will play again soon. what can i say, guess i'm still in "one of my moods....." haha

what time are you going to visit cemetaries this afternoon? lol will be thinking of you walking around and visiting folks you dont know.....try not to trip over a headstone....lol

miss you ~ can we talk tonight?

Kat

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Random stuff

We should be able to talk tonight if my laptop cooperates!

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Random stuff

oh yeah, forgot about that....you have me spoiled now. I hope you are proud of yourself.

and you are right, this is a little slower and not near as spontaneous.

kat

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** song

here ya go! They are waiting in the car...We are wheels up for the cemeteries!!!

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: song

you were right...it was so worth coming home to......loved the song.....ur so sweet.

have fun at the cemeteries.....cant wait to talk to you later.

kat

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: song

Oh yeah. Having a blast

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: song

still out traipsing through the cemetery honey?'

:)

kat

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: song

Yes dear.... Just stopped at a nursing home to see my great aunt. She is 101 years old.

Talk to you later sweets.

Mike

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: song:

wow you guys are over the place....have fun....miss your smile.

kathy ;)

* * *

Kathy:

**Subject:** none

You home yet sweetie?

kathy

* * *

The next few days were unbelievable. We seemed to talk all day through texts, and then we would chat on FB at night.

A few days after all of this started, she had to make a trip to California with her daughter for a volleyball tournament. They had to arrive at the airport very early, as they were flying standby and had a tentative seat booked on the first flight of the day to LA. Since I had to work that morning, we were texting from the get-go. As luck would have it, there had been some flight cancellations the night before, and they were booking all of those people on the flight they were hoping to take. This situation spilled over to the next flight, and then next, and so on. She was keeping Scott informed of the situation even though, he seemed more preoccupied with his work related issues. As the day went on, she was getting more and more stressed by the situation and Scott's lack of concern. I was doing my best to keep the situation "lite" through my tests, as I tried to help her pass the time. As it turned out, she had to purchase one way tickets for them to make the trip, which were quite expensive.

They safely arrived at their hotel, and after getting some supper, (a word I grew up with and one she used too) she settled into her room... a room she would have to herself, as her daughter would be rooming with teammates. This situation was perfect for us to have plenty of uninterrupted time to chat since M always stayed up very late watching TV downstairs and now Kathy didn't have to worry about anyone asking who she was chatting so much with.

We spent this time trying to catch up on the last 30 years, each trying to learn about the other. We coined this process "discovery" and it could be as simple as "fried chicken or brisket" to more involved subjects like "Republican or Democrat". Through this process we discovered that we were alike in so many ways. We discovered we grew up with and loved a lot of the same movies and music. We liked a lot of the same TV shows, especially "Survivor"... a show which M despised. It was nice to finally have someone to discuss this show with. We found we had very similar views on religion and politics... both having republican tendencies. The questions and comments would fly back and forth through cyberspace, as we both would type as fast as another thought would enter our mind, and we wanted an immediate answer, not wanting to waste this opportunity of uninterrupted communication.

We spent time talking about our lives up to this point. Where we had worked, where we had lived, and then the subject of our marriages finally came up. I explained the things that happened years ago between M and myself, which led to our seemingly "vanilla" kind of relationship. I talked about how things were when M and I first met... how we said and did what we felt, never wanting to let the other out of our sight or touch. Then after the "breakup" things became more focused on what not to say or do. I didn't talk as much as before, not wanting my words to be miss-represented and thus taken the wrong way. After so many years, it just became a way of life for us and it felt like we were just going through the motions, doing things we felt we were supposed to. It wasn't that we didn't love each other... it just wasn't that deep, all-consuming love that we had known before. We had built a life after 25 years we were comfortable with, and it seemed neither wanted to rock the boat after investing so many years in it. Doesn't this happen to everyone?

Kathy explained how she and Scott met and then talked about how much she wanted children and how hard it had been for them to make this a reality. She explained how after eight or so years of marriage, Scott had confessed something to her that "cut her to her core" and how she eventually came to grips with it. She said they too seemed to be just going through the motions, and how things were never the same after his confession which had destroyed much of her trust. She talked about putting things back together and then how her decisions weren't just about her anymore... she had a 14 and a 4 year old to think about. She shared how she felt alone... although she really wasn't. She felt that Scott's job was more important to him than she was. How he would come home, turn the channel to the show he wanted to watch, get his supper and sit on the couch. She then would be left to eat by herself at the table, as she usually had supper for the kids at a more traditional hour. When he would eat at the table with her, his head was usually buried in a newspaper or something else. After supper, he would watch TV until he fell asleep, leaving her to deal with the kids and dishes.

We chatted about our parents, our relationships with them, and what had happened since we both left Canyon City 42 years ago. My relationship with my mother has always been good, although we have never been "close" if that is the right word... meaning I do not call her to talk about my problems. After my parents divorced shortly after leaving Canyon City, my mother married a guy who had an alcohol problem. Although he basically was a nice guy, we never totally clicked... our relationship becoming cursory. After my parents' divorce, I only saw my dad a few weekends a year, and spent time at Christmas and each summer with him and his new family. As time went on, he became more of a friend or this guy I knew, never being a real father figure for me. I never really called him seeking advice or counsel, as it seemed we were so different.

Kathy told me of how her parents too had divorced and how it affected her life. Unlike me, her parents divorced later in life. Her mom had remarried but her dad had not. She said her relationship with her mom had been strained for years, but did not totally explain why until a few weeks later.

It quickly became apparent to us how much we enjoyed talking to each other without having to "watch what we said". After so many years of being so selective in our words, it was unbelievably refreshing to converse without having such restraints. We decided that we would have a rule of "no eggshells" ... meaning... "Say whatever you want without having to worry about any repercussions". We both already had relationships where this wasn't the case. So why start another?

After they returned home from California, we started "talking" more than ever. We would text anytime, even in the presence of our spouses. M was doing a lot of research for her project she had begun about tracing our ancestry. This would include trips to nearby cities, finding gravesites of family members that had come before us. Kathy and I were in constant communication. I could be having a conversation with M while texting Kathy. I would be driving down the road with my family and at the same time be making plans on what time I would be home so Kathy and I could meet up on FB and chat later that evening.

Kathy was starting to consume my every thought and was on my mind constantly. I knew she too was enjoying the conversations and the excitement of the attention, but wasn't sure if she was starting to feel the way I was. I was trying not to let the situation get the best of me, but that was getting more difficult by the day. Letting Kathy know my true feelings wasn't something I wanted to share at the moment. Although we had agreed on "no eggshells", I felt this subject kind of fell outside of that umbrella. She was becoming such an important part of my life at this point and the last thing I wanted to do was scare her off.

I was falling hard... I was falling fast...

# Hawaii... Day 7

The crow of the chicken was loud enough to hear over the drone of the air conditioner...thank goodness. I rolled over and looked at the clock, and realized we were gonna be in "crunch time mode". Because of the champagne, wine, and extracurricular activities, the alarm was never set. We are now running about 2 hours behind schedule.

"Babe! Wake up! We forgot to set the alarm! We need to get a move on," I say frantically.

"What's going on? What happened?"

"We are running a couple hours late. Get your gorgeous butt out of bed."

We need to get everything packed, the condo cleaned out, and get to Lihue to catch our plane. You hop in the bathroom first as I collect clothes and stuff and get them into the suitcases. I open the bedroom door and head for the kitchen. I find your dress still on the floor where we left it. Wine glasses too. I open the fridge and start putting the last few items left into the trash can. There are a couple diet DPs left....perfect for our drive to the airport. As I finish putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, you are through and it's my turn in the bathroom. You turn on the dishwasher and put the trash by the door. You do a last minute sweep of all rooms to make sure nothing is hiding and will be left. Back in the bedroom, you finish packing your makeup and clothes, and get your bags closed as I finish my shower. We haul the bags downstairs, load the car, and throw the trash in the dumpster. We hop in and drive over to the office and complete our checkout. With everything done, we are wheels up and on our way to the airport in only 45 minutes. We now have a few minutes to relax as we drive to Lihue, and finally are able to exchange our "Good morning I love you's". You rub my hand as we talk about our dinner last night and what a wonderful time we had after returning back to our place.

We arrive at the airport, I drop you and the bags off at the curb, and head to the rental car return. Thankfully it's a small airport, and I am back to help you with the bags, and check-in is completed within 20 minutes. We are now sitting at the gate waiting to board, with a whole 10 minutes to spare!

We are soon on our way back to Honolulu to get our connection to Hilo, which is on the eastern coast of the Big Island. Because of the short layover, we do not have time to get anything to eat... so by the time we get to Hilo ... we are famished.

We arrive in Hilo, about 1:30pm, and collect our bags, and I get the new blue Mustang convertible. All loaded up, we depart the airport in search of food. We want something fast, but local. We decide on the "Hilo Burger Joint". It has a great selection of gourmet burgers, all made with local ingredients. We order 2 teriyaki pineapple burgers, fries, and of course, diet DPs. We sit inside and eat as we admire the craftwork of the amazing dark wood bar. With fresh refills, we climb into the car for our long drive to Kona.

With lunch finished, we head north up the coast. We are going to see some of the sights as we make our way across the Big Island to our condo in Kona. With your tummy full, and still feeling the effects of last night, you are starting to question why I feel the need to push ourselves since we are on vacation. "Why don't we just stay in Hilo" you are wondering out loud.

"I've booked us a nice place in Kona, and the drive will be awesome, I promise. I'm sorry we had such a hectic start this morning. Hang in there Babe. It will get better!"

I do my best to calmly defuse the situation, knowing as soon as we are out of town and you see the beautiful scenery along the coast, you will get your second wind. My phone now synced to the sound system, I find your favorite playlist. Set on shuffle, the first song is "My Kind of Girl" by Collin Raye. This gets your foot tapping, your eyes brighten up, and I can see a smile starting to show on your face.

A few miles out of Hilo, we pull over to see a waterfall and gorge filled with beautiful palms. Being the eastern side of the island, there is always plenty of rain, which makes everything so green and lush.

We then drive through a small park on the coast with a huge bamboo forest. We get some great views of the coast and take the opportunity to get some great pictures as well.

Pushing further up the coast, we stop at Kahuna Falls. It's a really tall waterfall that looks amazing in the tropical jungle.

After visiting Kahuna Falls , we drive a few more miles to Akaka Falls. This is another spectacular fall, which also has very nice and groomed grounds. We take the trail to utilize the awesome vantage points along the way for some great pictures. The plants and flowers along the trails are simply amazing and we take lots of pics. The tall canopy of trees blocks a lot of the sun, making the walk comfortable and cool.

Our visit to the falls complete, we head north and then eventually west across the island. It's a long and steady climb, through the upcountry, driving by many small farms and larger ranches. This is the area which is home to the "paniolo" or Hawaiian Cowboy. After reaching the town of Waimea, we turn southwest and start the slow decent down the western slope into Kona. You did indeed finally get your second wind, and have been thoroughly enjoying the afternoon while marveling at the amazing scenery. As we are nearing Kona, we are still pretty high above the sea, which is now turning that familiar orange, as the sun is starting to set on another day. We decide to pull over and sit on the hood as we watch the sun finally disappear behind the horizon. We are a few miles out of Kona, and it won't be long before we are again checked in and relaxing.

We finally make it to the Kona Coast Resort, and check into our condo. It is very gracious with a very nice kitchen and beautiful bath and a large garden tub. With everything unloaded, we decide that you and Mikey will take a relaxing bubble bath while I go and find us something for supper. A relaxing night at "home" sounds like just the thing after a day that started off in a rather hectic fashion, but has seemed to end on a high note.

I return from my quest for food, with wine... of course..., some popcorn, Crunch-n-Munch, Lunchables, and chocolate covered macadamia nuts. I find you on the couch watching "Men" in your big t-shirt. I hit the shower while you put the popcorn in the microwave and pour the wine. I throw on a pair of boxers, and join you on the couch. We are having a very simple evening, snacking, drinking, watching TV, and enjoying each other's company. Your feet are sore from all of the walking at the falls, so I grab some lotion and start to message them. You are lying on the opposite end of the couch with your feet in my lap and I'm enjoying the view as your t-shirt slides up your thigh. The news is on now, and we both decide that the easiest job in the world has to be a weatherman in Hawaii. How hard can it be? "Today we will reach a high of 82, with a slight chance of rain, and tonight the low will be 75. Tomorrow and the next 10 days...Pretty much the same thing". We both chuckle at this and then start watching "That 70's Show".

I finally awaken, to find your foot still in my hand. There is an infomercial on the TV promising to make me a millionaire in 60 days raising gophers. I look over and you are sound asleep. I'm torn between waking you up and watching you in your peaceful sleep. I marvel at the fact that I'm here in this beautiful paradise, and now sharing my life with a gorgeous woman who I can truly call my best friend. I finally decide to wake you, knowing that the king size bed will be monumentally more comfortable than this couch. I slowly rub your feet until you start to stir.

"Oh my. Did we fall asleep Sweetie?" you inquire. "What time is it?"

"It's a little after two. Are you ready to go to bed now?"

You give a slight giggle and we get up, turn out the lights and head for the bedroom. You lean over the bed to pull back the covers, and your t-shirt again rides up the back of your thigh. I can't help but notice and something stirs inside. As you stand up to turn out the light, I hug you from behind, kissing the back of your neck. Your reach back and run your fingers through my hair, as you turn around and kiss me passionately. We spin around, and fall back on the bed...and in one quick move I'm now inside your t-shirt with you! Waiting to hear some feedback about how impressed you were with my move, all I can hear is your infectious laughter and in an instant, you have locked your legs around me. With your arms around me pulling me close, I am trapped under your t-shirt, and you aren't letting me come up for air. All I can hear is you laughing uncontrollably. With a couple WWE moves, we are finally extricated from your t-shirt which goes sailing across the room. Finally free, I'm able to look into your eyes. I pause reflecting on your beauty, sexy laugh, and playfulness and realize why I feel like the luckiest man in the world that you are sharing your life with me. I lean over and turn off the lamp, as we eagerly give up an hour or so of sleep to christen the Big Island....

# Chapter Eight

"I'm falling from the sky,

Into your dreams again tonight.

This time I'm holding on to you for life.

In my arms I hold you tight,

In my dreams again tonight.

And nothing's ever felt so black and white"

_"Black and White"_ _~ the Envy_ 5

* * *

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: none

good morning sweetie....did you sleep well? im not moving very fast this morning ~ I know thats a big surprise....

trying to get motivated to go back and try to finish the old house today...will probably do easter eggs with Tommie sometime this afternoon. Boiled the eggs last night while i was waiting for you. im still trembling

kath

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: none

I was wondering what you and Tommie were gonna do for Easter. Yes..I slept well..though it went quick!

Having been feeling it, seeing it in print on the screen was almost overwhelming.

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: none

i know...i almost did not send it. typed it out rather easily, then was not sure whether or not to send it. i hope i didnt overstep my boundaries....

kathy

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: none

When I was at Chick fil a...I was having the same problem. I finished the email and was trying to decide how. To sign it.

Last night the room got really warm, really quick.

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: none

i know my heart has not stopped pounding since last night. everytime i think about you i just break out in a really warm feeling.....what on earth is wrong with us? we shouldnt be doing this, should we? i feel like a giddy little school girl.....'

i hope you are happy with yourself..... lol

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: none

Extremely happy!

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: none

guess you haven't stopped smiling since last night too?

Love you,

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: none

Ok... To elaborate on the comment about us doing this....logically the answer would be no. We've all seen the movie. Always ends bad.

There is a good question. How will it end?. Maybe 50 years from now when we are sitting in our rockers on the porch, with you in my eyes as I take my last breath.

Or tomorrow because we get found out. Maybe we get frustrated with the circumstances and eventually just throw our hands. Up.

You might slowly get tired of me as the newness wears off and slowly drift apart. How will it end? I don't know.

What I do know is that you bring so much joy to my life. I love the way you talk and the way you make me feel. I love your humor and your sexiness. I want my cake and eat it too. I want you in my life for as long as you want to be. You have even made my life at home better.

I have more to say...but I need to get back.

Hope all of this made sense

As for meeting...that will be another discussion. I want to hear your thoughts on it. You have a say in all of this too ya know.

Love ya

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: none

i don't know what to say.....for a first, I know. As I'm reading this, my heart and my hands are both trembling. I feel the same way. You have become a fixture in my mind that i don't want to shake, and don't even think i could. You are right, i have seen the movie. :)

Guess we will wait and see where this road/path takes us ~ again, this all goes right back to the first time we were chatting, don't know if you remember that particular conversation or not. You have lit up my world like you cannot believe. I am constantly smiling and my heart skips a beat just thinking about you. I haven't felt this way in such a long time. I am constantly looking/waiting for you to send me a little note, just to know that you are thinking of me. It warms my heart more than I can ever put in to words.

You have my home life better too...it is much more "bearable" (to use such an awful word). It feels so wonderful to be able to talk to someone who I believe is listening. That in it itself makes all things worthwhile, you know?

I don't know where we are headed ~ but if you will be around for awhile, i'm ready to see where it goes. And who knows the newness may wear off of you too, and tomorrow this will all be a memory.....(sounds like a song, huh....)

Hell, i don't know if this is even making any sense either....i've been with a four year old all day... haha

Love you,

Kathy

* * *

We had recently figured out that Yahoo Messenger was our preferred method of communication. It was faster and more reliable than FB chat and if we were on our laptops, there was no cost like there was with sending texts. It was also available on our phones and we could also easily see if the other was online which was better than just sending a text that might show up at a time which was not very convenient. When it was "ok" to talk, we would log into YM which would show our status as "available" and wait for the other. We were getting pretty good at all of this. We were getting to know each other's schedules and would keep ourselves informed of when and where we would be able to "talk". We also would "talk, talk"... meaning actually talking on the phone, once a week or so. We tried to keep this to a minimum, as hard as that was, so we would not raise any suspicions about a large number of calls going to the same number with long conversations.

The posts were rapidly flying back and forth through cyberspace as we were locked into another long discovery session. Kathy was starting to become the center of my universe. She was all I could think of. I was flying high at this point, not thinking it could get any better. We talked all day and then again for a while after nine or so in the evenings. Although weekends were tougher since our families were around more, we were able to "talk" enough to keep each other somewhat satisfied.

_As the conversation continued, I'm not sure I was prepared for what was going to happen next. As I'm typing a message to her,_ IT _came across my screen and my heart skipped a beat, and then almost burst out of my chest._ IT _was the three little words I had dreamt of and had waited almost 42 years to hear. The message simply said... "I love you". The room started to get very warm. My hands started to shake, and my heart was pounding! (it's presently about a year and a half later as I am typing this account of what happened, those three words are still having that effect on me.) I don't know how many times I had to read that post to make sure it actually said what I thought it said. As I finally got my composure back, I could not type my response quickly enough. I simply typed... "I love you too". I told her how I had been feeling that way for a while, and to know that she felt the same... well that was almost more than I could handle. As the conversation continued and we began to "talk" about what had just happened, I was having a tough time with my keyboard as my hands were still shaking uncontrollably. My heart still feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest. We "talked" for a while longer, but I eventually had to sign off as I could hear M downstairs preparing to come up for bed. As we said our "goodnights", it was like no other night before. I could finally say exactly what I wanted... and how I wanted._

"Goodnight my Love. Have peaceful dreams and know as you lay your head down, that I love you with all of my heart".

From that night on, saying goodnight got to be harder and harder as each of us didn't want to be the one that actually signed out of YM first. I remember hating the little sound that YM made as the person you were talking to was no longer online.

After that April night, things were never going to be the same with me, with her, with us. I had not had such feelings for such a long time, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to go back to a life without her. If something were to happen to us, how could I go on? I liken it to what I've heard about how people get hooked on cocaine. All it takes is one try and you have to have it and can't imagine life without it.

We both were brought up to believe having these feelings for someone other than our spouses was wrong. But we also felt that this was something more and that some kind of good had to come from it. Why had God brought her back into my life? There was no way this could be a bad thing. We could end it now and forever have nagging questions. Questions of "what if" or questions that maybe we were meant for each other, but for some reason had not been able to "find" one another until now.

We decided to see where this whole thing would lead us. We talked extensively about how it would eventually end... or even if it would. Through everything that had happened in our lives, we still did love our spouses, and were not ready to throw it all away on some new feelings which were rapidly escalating.

With the "800 pound gorilla" finally out of the room, we were truly free to say what we felt and we were finally able to truly "feel" what we felt. She was now the last thing that was on my mind as my head hit the pillow at night, and she was already in my brain before my feet ever hit the floor in the morning. She was the last person I "spoke" with before entering dreamland and the first person I "spoke" with in the morning. After we signed off from YM at night, I sometimes would continue my "conversation" with her by writing a long email that would be waiting for her when she awoke the next morning and checked her email. When I would have to work early, I would send her a "good morning" message on YM that would be there as soon as she signed-in each morning.

She changed my life with those three words, and it has never been the same.

# Hawaii... Day 8

I wake up on day 8 of our Hawaiian vacation. A new island. A new condo. A new bed. Same beautiful woman of my dreams. You are sound asleep and since the room is a bit chilly, you are curled up in a ball. I am snuggled against your back as I listen to the beautiful rhythm of your dreamland breathing. I run my nose along the back of your neck, taking in the aroma of your luscious body. I softly kiss your neck which causes you to stir a little and then I run my hand along your long body which brings you out of your slumber.

"Good morning Babe. Mmmm. That feels nice," you say in your sleepy voice.

"Good morning to you too Gorgeous. I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"Is it time to get up already?"

"Yes it is Kathy. Are you ready to get going and have some fun?"

"We could stay here and have some fun... Just sayin' ..."

"Yes ... We certainly could. But we could also keep that thought in our head and think about it all day. By the time we get back tonight, we will be more than ready!"

"Well Sweetie. I guess I can't argue with that logic."

With that we get out of bed and start to get ready. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be much for breakfast, but I do find the Lunchables and the diet DPs. We grab our camera and other necessities for the day and make our way to the car. Today we are going to spend the day in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. The trip will take a couple hours as we stop along the way whenever we see something of interest. We put the top down and pull out of the parking lot, turning south. The drive is very beautiful, with the snowcapped Mauna Kea to the left and the crystal blue waters of the Pacific, far below, to the right. Down the slopes from the highway to the sea, are countless coffee plantations which supply the world with Kona Coffee. The dark green of the coffee bushes, the deep red dirt, and the blue sea makes for a beautiful contrast.

We finally arrive at the park and proceed to the visitor's center. Here we watch a video presentation about the park and get to talk with rangers who let us know if running lava can actually be seen on this day. We venture into the bookstore to get a couple nice books on the park, some post cards, and of course, some magnets. With our map in hand, we jump in the car ready to explore this incredible place.

We take the short drive to the Jagger Museum. Here they have some very interesting exhibits and also some real time seismographs. We go out on the balcony and look at huge caldera that is located just below whose size is very hard to grasp....even as you are looking at it in person. We drive around the summit of Kilauea volcano via Crater Rim Drive which takes us through deserts, rain forests, and has many places to stop for great photo opportunities and short walks. The look on your face is total amazement since the sheer magnitude of this place is really hard to fathom. You seem to have a perpetual smile as you are having such a wonderful time.

We stop at the parking area for "devastation trail" and we take the short walk along the trail amazed at the power of the eruptions.

Our stomachs are now growling profusely, so we decide to make a stop at Uncle George's lounge at the Volcano House Restaurant. I order Kalua Pork and White Pineapple Pizza, and you opt for Kuahiwi Ranch Sliders. The food is excellent and as we are eating, we break out the brochures to decide our plan of action for the afternoon. The brochures recommend a drive down the "Chain of Craters Road". It is a drive from the cool altitude of the summit to the East Rift and all the way down to see level, a decent of 3,700 feet in 20 miles.

At the bottom of the "Chain of Craters" road, we finally come to the place where the lava has covered the road. We get out and walk on it, and you can hear the "tick, tick" as the rock cools. Some days the lava is close enough to easily see and other days it would take a long hike to where the lava flows into the sea.

After walking on the lava for a while, we start back up the road. Along the way we stop and take pictures of the spectacular coast.

Exiting the park, we start the long drive back Kona. It's been an exhausting day, and it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep. Again I face the dilemma of watching the road or watching you in your peaceful sleep. Even though we have known each other for most of our lives, it still moves me to watch you sleep...to see and hear your breathe...wondering what lovely dreams you may be having.

Finally arriving in Kona, you awaken from your slumber, and give me that little smile that only I know. We decide on Chinese take-out, gather the little boxes and drive to our condo.

After a long hot day, you start running the water for a long and deserved bubble bath. I make us a couple of glasses of merlot, and we then immerse ourselves into the warm bubbles. Facing each other in the huge tub, we have fun passing Mikey back and forth between us through the bubbles. The little boxes of our take out supper are lined up on the side of the tub, and I fish out lone of the long noodles and hold it above your mouth, feeding it to you like a baby bird. You giggle as I try and wind the long noodle into your mouth without missing the mark or getting any of the sauce on you. After a couple noodles, I get the fork and stab some of the beef and broccoli and hold it out to you as you take my offering ... no hands. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, you too feed me as we laugh and giggle at the mess we are now making. Trying to hit your mouth with a long noodle, I miss and it lands directly between your breasts.

"Ooops. Sorry Babe."

"Uh-huh"

After finishing the take-out and the wine, I pour a handful of shampoo and start to lather your hair. I take it slow and easy, making sure not to miss a spot with your scalp message. I take the soap and lather up your back and shoulders, and start to work the day's tensions out of them. I rinse your hair out, and rinse off your shoulders while slowly and softly kissing them, and not forgetting your ears and neck.

You turn me around and lather my back, also messaging the day from my shoulders. You move closer, and kiss the back of my neck, and I can feel your excitement as you press yourself against me. These are the type of moments you wish would never end.

Eventually we get out, and towel off, and I go to the kitchen to get a couple more glasses of wine. When I return, I find you standing before me in your black lace. You walk toward me, and kiss me deeply, our tongues searching for each other. You slowly push me back on the bed, as you straddle me, kissing my chest, my neck, and my ears. You softly whisper how much you love me, and how much I mean to you. You kiss me deeply again as you grind your hips into me. Grabbing your bottom with both hands, I roll you over and lay on top of you ... between your legs. It's my turn to grind against you as I look deeply into the most amazing green eyes God has ever made. Your eyes, your blonde hair, your smile, and the exquisite black lace of your negligee, make you the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. My heart pounds in my chest at the sight of you under me, and I gently kiss your lips and neck.

"Kathy. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Your body is what makes up my every fantasy. You're as beautiful to me today as the first day I met you." With that I melted into you as we shared each other through the rest of the night.

# Chapter Nine

"I've seen the Seven Wonders of the World.

I've seen the beauty of diamonds and pearls.

But they ain't nothing Baby... Your love amazes me.

I've seen a sunset that would make you cry.

The colors of a rainbow reaching 'cross the sky.

The moon and all its phases...but

Your love amazes me.

Don't you ever doubt this love of mine.

'cause you're the only one for me.

You give me hope, you give me reason.

You give me something to believe in... forever...faithfully.

Your love amazes me...."

_"Your Love Amazes Me"_ _~ Tanya Tucker_ 6

Mike:

**Subject:** Saturday night

hi baby,

Good morning!! I'm going to assume you are probably going to read this in the morning.

didn't want to stop talking again tonight...so what's new right? so i thought i would babble on a bit. not sure what to say or where this is going. I guess we will see as it goes along.

you asked me about why i tried to find you on FB. Like i told you...i've been trying to find you for the last 42 years. i did find you once, but the timing was just not right. we were in relationships and plus, at that age, guys are still trying to figure out who they are, and girls usually go for the older ones. From the time we both left canyon city, i never forgot about you. like i told you, i had your picture for years...although I don't know what happened to it. i thought about you often, but never really knew what to do about it.

there were always crazy things that kept you in my mind. like thinking i saw yall on the highway and the story about the car.

so why did i try to find you on FB...I just always wanted to know what happened to you and that you were alright'. As for what has happened since...i have no answer for that. i could have never predicted that, nor did i anticipate that. I'm at a lost about it as you are.

I've never had anyone get me so emotional. I'm a guy..it's a little embarrassing. although I have found over the years, i've got a bit worse about it, never nothing like what you bring out of me. My heart and my head get so full, it's like there is no other way for it to come out. I'm not sure i've ever experienced such strong feelings about anyone. I kind of feel terrible saying that because it seems like I'm slighting madisson. Maybe i did feel like that back in the day, and just can't remember. All i know is, now they are so strong it's almost overwhelming. when i'm not talking to you, i feel this combination of peace, happiness, and anxiety...waiting for my phone to chime with an email or text. i want to know what you are doing in your day. I want to know how you slept. did you have any dreams? could you remember them? Were they good? I love knowing you are thinking of me.

...........so..i've been pecking on these keys for a while now...as Out of Africa is on the tv. how ironic huh?

I wish i had some reason all of this is happening...but i don't. I know i don't want it to stop or for you to go away again. i really can't say if it's right or wrong. i know that i do not want to hurt either of our families, but i also know there is too much here for us to ignore. My feable brain just can't imagine we are being pulled together like this for no reason. As for meeting. I feel very confident that will happen someday. I don't really know how or under what circumstances. it might be a chance trip that i have to take or it might be on purpose. it might be for a dr pepper (ok a diet dp) or lunch. Maybe dinner, or maybe more. I would have never thought that a week or so ago. you have become so much to me, that i could see that happening. you know me well enough now, to know that I do not make that statement lightly. I want to hold you, feel you , and feel your heart as it pounds. i want to be able to know a smell that is only you. Your hair, your perfume, your skin.

its after midnight now. i hope you are having peaceful sleep while i am thinking of you and writing this. I hope your day today, will be one filled with the joy and respect you deserve. When life gets you down, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think of me.

with all of my love

mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Saturday night

good morning sweetheart,

Yes it is morning and i did just get this.....again,you have made me speechess. the only thing that is coming to my brain...is wow....as my heart continues to beat very hard and i have a giddiness down deep inside me.

i still cannot believe that any of these feelings were possible. It has been such a long time since anything has made me feel this alive. I,too, know what you mean by the cant wait to get up and see if you are awake yet. or did he leave me a note? is he thinking of me? did he sleep well? how is your day? and so many other countless things that float through my mind. i didnt want to stop talking last night. after i got the salads made, i went and had a nice long hot bubble bath. Kept sitting there thinking about all that we had just talked about.

i know the past few weeks, the walls have come down in so many ways. after yesterday, i am finding myself building them back up with scott and keeping you on the inside with me....if that makes any sense at all. there are so many times, i feel like he and i are merely going through the motions, but that sometimes there isnt much there. weve gotten to where we dont talk much at all; he has gotten so good at his job, it prettty much fills his needs. work is always on his mind, and quite often placed above things here (or so i see) this is all from my eyes, but guess thats the only way i know to look at things

i have been so lonely for so long, there has been this "hole" there inside me....remember when i asked you if you ever felt alone even though you werent alone? i have been living that way for a very long time.....i cant tell you how wonderful it is to be able to not say that anymore. you have become such an important part of my life, that i dont want to do anything to "piss" you off and make you run away.,....

i have not had a lot of self-confidence, but for some reason you tend to bring it out in me.....although it may just be easy typing that, being in person could be a whole nother ball game. i find myself looking in the mirror and wondering what you would say to me.....just about anything and everything that is racing through my mind at the moment, I think about you constantly...you are there when i close my eyes to sleep and there when i open them the next morning, i dont have a clue how all this happenned, nor why God would bring you back into my life. wish i knew the answers to these, would probably make a lot more sense. i have become such a patient person the last few years, but am finding that maybe im not patient at all, as i am having a hard time being patient now.

As far as meeting, yes, i can "feel" that one too, i see it happenning, not sure when or where, but i do know in my heart, that will happen, as far as what happens when we first see each other again, i can only imagine. part of me will be so scared i may faint, another part will probably want to cry just at any touch you may give me, and then another part of me will want you to take me in your arms and not let go,,,,,i have no idea what will happen, who knows? just sitting and typing this out, is making my heart pound in ways i have not experienced in such a long time. if you only knew,,,,,

did you watch Out of Africa last night? i love the music in that movie,,,,dont know why but it gets to me every time,,,,,and how ironic that it just happenned to be on last night,

guess im babbling on and on this morning..,i hope you slept well, had some awesome dreams and have had a good morning so far. i know you are probably at work by now, trying to read this on your little "blackberry" thinking damn...wish my screen was bigger. I know you will be reading this one again, just to make sure you didnt miss anything.

just know that i think of you always, miss you like you cant believe and love you more with each passing day.....i cant believe all these things are even possible at MY age....

..... know that i love you ~~

Kath

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Saturday night

I just re-read this and was kind of feeling like a. Idiot because I kept having to wipe my eyes. What is up with that? I'm usually nothing like this, but you bring all of these feelings out of me.

The comment you made about "pissing me off"....NEVER Worry about that. If you do- you do. I'm not goIng anywhere. I.Never want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me. Say what's on your mind. Say what's In your heart. Just be Kathy....you know....just be that girl.

Love

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Saturday night

you know that is exactly what your email that you wrote last night did to me....i feel like i've been on a "crying" jag for a day or so now and i dont really know why. wish i couldve seen you with all those emotions running through you....i have never been around anyone who wasnt afraid to show that side, let alone even admit it.

i simply cannot fathom things getting any better than they are right now, but somehow, you do that everytime i hear from you. My heart is pounding out of my chest, my fingers are trembling, i feel the heat rising within me and i cant help but feel all these "giddy" feelings that are way down deep.....i dont know whats happenning to me.....

guess this just will make the meeting that much sweeter, huh? better make it a public place so we know we (I) will be able to control myself.... lol

u gonna be around any this afternoon? cant wait until i hear from you again.....

miss you, love you,

your girl,

kath

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Have some time

Hi Babe,

Traffic wasn't too bad so I have a little time to kill. Decided to hit Mickey Ds for some bfast. Bacon, egg, cheese, McGriddle....yum!. No...I didn't get the pancakes!

I can't wait to be through with this thing this morning. I so desperately want to talk with you. I guess I'm having one of your moments. Its amazing how so alike we seem to be. Your comment about wondering what we would have been like scares the hell out of me. I know we've both thought that...hell..I've been wondering that for years...in daydreams and stuff like people have. But to see your comment written down, was hard to believe after all of this time, you might have felt the same.

There's more to say...but I need to get going. I wish I. could type faster on this thing.

Loving you desperately

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Have some time

hey sweetie....

i did sleep well last night; although i ended up on the couch again.....surprised? lol

guess something must be coming in with this little front; he's been worse than normal. glad you had a nice nutritious breakfast.... lol! Beats what I had ~ cup of lowfat chocolate milk and a handful of vitamins... lol

yes, sounds like you were having a "kathy" moment, there for a bit....either that or I've made you think about life, such as it is.......it does make me wonder though, as more often than not, you and i are thinking pretty much the same thing, as we write in unison....its kinda scary. Hope I dont scare the hell out of you too much, as i cant wait to hear from you again.

Hope you learn a lot and that this course is worth your time ~ i hate sitting through something (even though you have to) if you dont learn anything.....just try and concentrate...... i'll be here when you get back to the office.

Thinking of you dear.....

Love you,

Kath

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

Just missing you... It hits me all of a sudden sometimes.

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

i know the feeling oh so well......i keep hoping this is gonna get a little easier....but guess we'll have to be patient a little longer, huh?

Kathy

Mike:

**Subject** : Re: Sunday

I'm trying....its like its getting worse....but its a good worse..:)

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

is your heart aching? or is it other parts of your body......?

lol

do you have any idea how happy you make me??

kathy

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

Its my heart...that's what is so troubling/confusing. If it were other parts I could deal with it easier.

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

im so glad to know that im not the only one with "heart" problems.....my brain keeps telling my heart to just let things go and all will be okay...but it doesnt seem to be working, as its been over a month now. i keep waiting for the "newness" to kinda wear off, but that doesnt help either.

love you so very much,

kathy

Mike

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

You too? I too keep waiting. For the newness to wear off or for life to slap me in the face...but it hasn't yet. I even hate to admit that the newness could wear off...but history tells me it will eventually will. I'm kind of excited to see what you have in store for me then!

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

ur so funny.....this whole thing is still such a "puzzle" to me....i know someday we will meet again....then there is no telling what will happen....we may each take one look at the other and just burst out in laughter, you think??

guess until then, we're stuck with each other..... haha

love you so very much my heart is aching,

kath

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

I hope its not a "what the hell were we thinking" laugh...

This is what's so incredible to me. I've been swept off my feet by Kathy ..the person.... not by Kathy...the hot chick in the pictures. That makes this whole thing so hard to ignore and impossible to walk away from.

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

okay, now its getting really warm in here....it just amazes me so that you always know just what to say to me...to get my heart beating so hard and make me feel so special. I do hope its a "not what the hell were we thinking" laugh as well......but more a passionate kiss of "finally i get to hold you, now im happy kind of smile....."

kathy

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Do you realize we have talked almost all day, everyday for a month?

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: Sunday

no, it doesnt seem that way....and you still havent gotten tired of me yet? lol

guess i better get up and get to work...got to clean up the kitchen again....imagine that.

Please know i'm thinking of you constantly and you are keeping my heart oh so warm....missing you and wishing we could have that "nap" together this afternoon....

love you sweetie,

Kathy

* * *

To say that I felt like I was on top of the world would have been an understatement. It had so many years since I had felt like this. I'm not proud of the fact that that I wasn't being true to my marriage, but these feelings were like a drug. I felt that things at home had been stagnant for many years even though I had tried to remedy the situation. My wife and I never talked to each other the way Kathy and I did. We never used "pet names" and when Kathy would call me "Honey", "Love", or Baby, my heart would simply melt. These names with Kathy came out so effortlessly and it felt so normal and... well... so right. This woman had taken over my head and my heart to the point that I had no idea of what was going to happen next. I just knew that somehow, someway, I had to make sure she was a part of my life from here on out.

The thing that initially was most "confusing" for me was the fact that I was terribly in love with Kathy... the person. That may sound bad, but hey... I'm a guy, and we are very visual creatures. We usually "fall in love" with our eyes first and the rest eventually comes around. That wasn't the case here. Don't misunderstand... she is a very beautiful woman, but it was what was on the inside that captured my heart. The things she said... the way she talked to me... the way she made me feel. I mentioned to a confidant, that after 48 years of life, I finally felt I was truly in love with someone. I know that is a horrible sounding statement to make, but I really felt that way. I loved my wife, but it was such a different kind of love when it came to Kathy. It was something based deep down within me... Deep down in the very core of my being. Yes, being human, I had a desire to be with her physically, but it paled in comparison of how I wanted to be with her emotionally. I've never been a fan of the word "soulmate", but she was the closest thing to one I've ever experienced. We talked about having that afternoon nap together and how nice it would be to be able to drift off to sleep in each other's arms. Feeling our warmth, and hearing every breath we each took. We talked about our dreams and how nice it was to hold each other in them...feeling the warmth of each of our bodies.

One evening as we were chatting, she mentioned that she had been to the store that day and had bought a new black lace negligee'. She described it as being mid-calf in length, very tastefully low-cut, with matching black lace panties. The vision of her in this, along with her blond hair and beautiful eyes, kept me warm many nights. The night she bought it, she wore it to bed, where she said Scott never said a thing about it...

From the beginning we both discovered that we had a strong love for music. She played in the band in high school, and had also learned to play the piano. I on the other hand, had never learned to play an instrument, and I can't carry a tune in a bag. Being musically challenged has never hampered my love for it though. Unlike my wife, songs speak to me on a level that moves me greatly. Finding out that Kathy was the same, was awesome. We had both grown up with country music, although I migrated more to rock during my early youth. Even though I preferred rock, I still had a great appreciation of country music, and still remembered many songs and lyrics from years gone by. Kathy had remained predominately a country fan and it was nice to be reintroduced by her, to more recent songs.

I have many hours of music on my phone, and as I was working one morning with my headphones on, I heard a song that said exactly what I wanted to say to Kathy at the moment. The song was "Loving You Without You Now" by Paul Stanley. I attached it to an email and sent it to her. After hearing it, she agreed it was perfect and then sent me a couple she loved, the first being "Gimme That Girl" by Joe Nichols. She said this song was her through and through. The other she sent was "Someone to Hold on To" by Tanya Tucker. This was the start of many songs we shared that seemed to express how we felt about our situation, our life, and each other. Some of the songs I knew before, but now they held a special new meaning. To this day, they still move me.

# Hawaii...Day 9

After the most amazing sleep ever, I am awakened by the sound of a crinkling paper bag. I slowly open my eyes to see you sitting on the side of the bed, holding breakfast.

"Hungry Babe?" you ask.

"Absolutely! Whatcha got in the bag Gorgeous?"

"Something yummy of course. I slaved all morning over a hot stove," you giggle.

Reaching into the bag, you pull out hash browns, bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddles, pancakes, and sitting on the nightstand, are two diet DPs. It smells awesome! We both sit in the middle of the bed and feast on our breakfast. Since we are both feeling a bit lazy today, we decide to hit the beach. Since you are obviously already done, I quickly get changed, and in a matter of a few minutes, we are on the road... Punalu'u Black Sand beach is the destination. Since you have never seen a black sand beach, it should be a real treat.

As we head south along the western coast of the Big Island, we notice signs for Pu'uhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park.... better known as "The Place of Refuge". It was a sanctuary that provided the ancients with a second chance. If you had broken a sacred law, or Kapu, many times the punishment was death. If you could make your way to this sacred place before being captured, and receive absolution from the kahuna pule (priest), no harm would come to you.

We spend a little over an hour walking through the park, listening to the talks from the park rangers and cultural demonstrators about weaving, fishing, carving, and other activities of ancient Hawaiian life. The grounds are beautiful and we have a peaceful time, hand in hand, exploring all this place has to offer

Back on the road, we soon arrive at our destination. As we turn into the parking area, you can hardly believe it. After hearing about it all of this time, you are finally here, and yes...the sand is actually black in color.

After parking the car, we grab our bags, blankets, and towels and walk across the warm coarse sand. The pebbles are noticeably larger than most sands, but still very soft to walk on. We spread out our towels and blankets then stretch out under the swaying palms, listening to the waves. I squeeze suntan lotion into my hand, and rub it into your shoulders and your back. It takes longer than normal since I can never get enough of touching you. We lie side by side, and revel in the fact that we are actually together, on a beach, in Hawaii, with no other commitments to distract our attention from each other.

As we look out at the water, we can see the honus as they swim in the surf and eventually make their way onto the beach. We finally decide to take a little swim to cool off. Although the water is crystal clear, it appears very dark due to the sand. When you stand in it... it almost looks like you are standing in oil.

After our swim, we make our way to our blankets and again lay in the warm tropical sun. It doesn't take long and we are dry and feeling a bit drowsy. Not wanted to fall asleep and bake too long, we agree to pack up and head for home. We take one last look at this incredible place, and then walk hand in hand back to the car. With the top down, we pull out onto the highway for the trip home. You give me a little smile, then a yawn, and then you settle into your seat for a little nap on the way back to Kona.

We arrive back at the condo, and we both jump in the shower to wash off the salt, suntan oil, and yes...even a little back sand. I again relish in the fact that I get to wash your hair. With the frequent washes, I take the time to condition it too. It smells wonderful, and after rinsing, your hair is unbelievably soft. I grab the soap and lather your body from head to toe. You feel so sexy in my hands and in my arms. I put my arms around you from behind, and we both stand under the spray of the water, enjoying the feeling.

Out of the shower, we dry off and I put on my boxers, as you put on your T-shirt. We retreat to the bed and put on the TV to watch some early afternoon programming. As we lay on the bed, I notice that the coarse sand has had a bad effect on your toenail polish. I get up and look in your bag, and find your favorite color for your toes... Pompeii Purple. You give me your feet and I message them for a couple of minutes, and then slowly and carefully paint them. After finishing one foot, you quickly give me your other foot, while admiring my handiwork. After finishing both, I blow on them to help dry them quicker.

We are snacking on popcorn, and in a few minutes your toes are dry, and I move up beside you, snuggling up behind you, my arm around you with my hand on your breast. Our breathing slowly gets in sync, and we fall away into a wonderful dreamland in the middle of the afternoon.

After our blissful nap, we get changed, to go do some shopping on Ali'i Street, and to get some supper. I'm in my Hawaiian shirt and khaki slacks, and you are in your beautiful sundress, and we strike off for some evening fun.

We have fun looking through all of the upscale galleries, and boutiques. Again you are turning heads...especially mine. We find another ABC Store and pick up a couple refrigerator magnets to match the ones from the other island.

For supper, we go to "Bubba Gump's Shrimp Company". It is a very good seafood restaurant based on the movie. There are tons of movie items used to decorate the place. There are two license plates on each table. One says "Run Forrest Run" if you don't need anything from your waiter, or "Stop Forrest Stop" if you need them. You have a big plate of shrimp and I have some grilled mahi mahi, with a baked potato. We have a couple glasses of wine and I'm feeling the effects which are enhanced by your eyes and your perfume. We pay our tab, and hand in hand, we head for the door and.....

(Kathy finished the rest of this story in her own words)

and drive to a nearby convenience store, so I can run in and grab a couple of surprises for you before we head back home.

After gathering the few little items I am seeking, we make the journey back home. We are both still quite full from the wonderful meal we just finished. I suggest that you put on some soft music, while I go slip back into my t-shirt and baggy shorts. You decide to get comfortable as well, and get back down to your boxers and a t-shirt.

While you are changing clothes, I venture out to the patio, light a few candles and set some wine glasses out so we can enjoy the sunset once more. We sit and talk again, for what seems hours, enjoying each other's company. As the moon begins to rise, I ask what you would think about going for a stroll on the beach. You really like the idea, so I run inside and grab a few things in my tote bag, and we head on out.

We get to the beach, it is absolutely beautiful. We begin strolling down hand in hand, listening to the waves along the shore. It is a gorgeous night out, with the moon very big and bright. There is absolutely no one around, and we feel extremely secluded.

I look into my tote, pull out a big beach blanket and place it on the ground. I also take out some newly purchased wine glasses and produce another bottle of wine. I am not able to open this one, so you take the corkscrew that I brought and proudly open the bottle for us. I also have brought along with strawberries with a little can of that spray whipped cream. You start laughing at my "goodies", of which I was so proud of getting!

We sit down on the sandy beach, and enjoy our little "romantic" picnic of wine and strawberries. I begin teasing you with the whipped cream, spraying you uncontrollably. You finally get the can away from me and slowly pin me down and begin kissing me. We are lying there, listening to the waves, watching the moon and stars, holding each other close. The whipped cream that I had squirted on you begins to melt. I don't want any to go to waste, so I begin to lick it off your chest. You, in the meantime, grab what's left of the container and begin spraying me with it. As we both lay there, laughing, we begin kissing each other once more and letting our desires get the best of us, as our hearts are pounding inside.

We lay there for what seems hours, not wanting to get up and leave. We are both so comfortable and keep telling each other we simply cannot believe how life could get any better than this. We then (finally) decide we should head on back and begin discussing a nice long bath, so we can rinse all the sand off of our bodies.

Once back home, I go and draw us a bath, again, with some candles lit. You decide to put our music back on, as I wait for you in our hot bubble bath. I am hiding under the bubbles when you come through the door. All you see is Mikey floating in the bubbles. You, of course, quickly find me. We soak again, for what seems hours and notice through the crack of the door that it is now about 2:00am....I start giggling telling you I'm gonna turn into a pumpkin....and you agree that it is probably time for us to turn in.

I grab a nice big towel that I had laid beside the tub earlier and dry off as you continue to watch me. I'm starting to feel a little more sexy and decide to begin teasing you again, knowing where this will lead. I spray on just a hint of perfume, put on my new navy blue nightie that is really slinky and pretty low cut. As I walk towards the bed, you grab me from behind and push me onto the bed. We begin to kiss once more, knowing we will both be sleeping in really late in the morning.

# Chapter Ten

"I want you to know.

That I'm thinking about you now.

Time passes so slow.

I remember "goodbye"

And the tears in your eyes...but

Who's to say, why we stay with another?

Counting days 'til we're holding each other.

I can hear your voice, your sighs I heard, still ring in my ears.

I can close my eyes and feel you beside me.

While I hope and pray to find a way to hold you somehow,

I'm just loving you without you now...

_"Loving You Without You Now"_ _~ Paul Stanley_ 7

* * *

Kathy:

**Subject:** sunday

missing you again...

Kathy

Mike:

**Subject:** Re: sunday

Big smiles. Had a feeling it might be you. Good timing. Just rolled up to the house.

I miss you too baby.

Going to try and say this with everything in my heart...

Kathy...I love you with all that I am. You're all that I think about, dream about, wish about, and you're in the forefront of my mind every waking moment.

Hope you are having a wonderful day.

Mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: sunday

its is so amazing how "in tune" we are.....you said that so well....how did you know i feel the same way honey????

hope to talk to you soon.....

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** monday...again

sat Down for a couple minutes to have a snack. Didn't have any supper...starving! So since I had a couple minutes...I thought I would send you a note letting you know you are still on my mind. Big surprise huh? How does the old saying go..." you must be tired from running through my mind all day"

You always. Joke about how me doing your dishes would be a turn on....Well honey...watching you singing and dancing around the kitchen, while you prepare one of your famous dishes for me....man...that is what makes up my daydreams and fantasies throughout the day.

Miss you.

Like the song says...all I want is right there in your eyes.

I love you .... mike

Kathy:

**Subject:** Re: monday...again

hey sweetie....it just amazes me how you can light up my heart with such a few simple words.....you didnt eat supper last night? poor baby...u got to keep ur strength up you know....

i have never heard that old saying...but it did bring such a smile to my face. morning started out pretty much as usual.....kids arguing, Scott running out the door, leaving me alone once more. i keep thinking of all the stuff i have to do, wondering how im going to do some of it, but guess my "man side" will hopefully kick in here in a bit....

its like i cant wait to get back to the house, knowing you will be there waiting for me......

as far as that comfortable stage goes, somehow cant imagine what that would be like, as my heart and hands tremble just the thought of everything we have talked about lately......part of me cant wait to see you, the other part is scared out of my mind.....and then the rest of me is just well, giddy, i guess for lack of a better word......just wish my face would quit breaking out......lol

love you so very much, am missing you and feel like part of me is missing....

dont work too hard sweetie ~~

Kathy

Hey sweetie

.........couldn't help but "feel you" with your comment about not talking to me for two hours and not much to M all weekend...i am so in touch with that one its scary.....

and i do so agree...it bothers me more not hearing from you for two whole hours than it does Scott......so what is wrong with us??

talk to you soon ~~

miss you,

kathy

* * *

The alarm went off and I couldn't wait to get up! It was a little after 5 in the morning and I was heading to Las Vegas, by myself, for a conference. I would be having 4-5 days of being able to talk and chat with Kathy anytime I wanted for the most part.

I arrived at the airport and since I forgot to check in online the day before, I ended up sitting between a two very nice ladies who were traveling on business. We exchanged pleasantries and then settled in for the two plus hour trip. I had my laptop with me and watched a DVD until my laptop gave out. I then pulled out my phone and started typing out an email to Kathy. For some reason it hit me in a weird way. I felt like a little kid, pretending to be on a business trip away from my family... except not away from my real family, but away from Kathy. As I looked out the window and could see the cloud layer thousands of feet beneath me, I was typing away like I was talking to her. I, for a change, did not have to worry or think about anyone else but Mike... not something that I got to do very often. I didn't have to worry about anyone looking over my shoulder or walking in on me. If either of the ladies asked about it, I could just say I was missing my wife and was just sending her my love. I felt so liberated!

We landed and as we were taxiing to the gate, I took my phone off of "airplane mode" and saw that I had a phone message and a couple text messages. Of course they were from Kathy, and I replied that I had arrived safely and that I was almost beside myself with excitement. At the baggage claim, I met up with my partner Kelly, and we got our bags and headed to the shuttle which would take us to the Lowes Lake Las Vegas Resort in Henderson. On the way to the resort, I was actually quite happy that my partner had a lot of phone messages and email he was sorting through, which gave me the chance to listen to the voicemail she left me...again. I never got tired of hearing her voice and the things she said to me that made me feel so special.

After checking in, I headed to my room to get unpacked. I immediately pulled out my phone to take a picture of my room and the view out of my window of the lake, golf course, and mountains. I attached the photos to an email and sent them to her. I waited until I was sure they had gone through, and then called her to describe what was in the pictures. We talked for a little bit, neither of us wanting to hang up. We finally got the courage, and I headed out to get some lunch with Kathy "in my pocket". This was a phrase we used when we had to go somewhere, but we knew the other would be with us through the modern technology of our phones. We would simply put each other "in our pocket" and we could go anywhere together.

Throughout the conference we chatted away on YM. If I went out to dinner, I would take a picture of the restaurant, and the people I was with. I would describe what I was eating or drinking and what we were talking about. One of the nights we were at an Italian restaurant that had a TV showing the basketball playoffs. The Dallas Mavericks were playing and she is a big fan. We were able to "talk" about the game as it was happening.

In the mornings, the time difference played to our advantage. I would be able to sleep in later than normal, get up, have my shower, and be ready just about the time she would get home from taking the kids to school. We would be able to "talk-talk" before I would have to meet the guys for breakfast.

I attended a presentation from a guy who had a million great quotes... something both Kathy and I really love. I was typing them in and sending them as fast as he said them. She was reading them and either telling me how much she liked them or asking questions about some of the things he was saying. The whole time my partner's wife was sitting right next to me. She never asked...

That evening we met some folks for a drink at this very nice little café that was on a terracotta terrace that overlooked the lake. It was a beautiful evening and I, of course, took a picture of the view, and a picture of the cold bottle of Michelob Ultra I was drinking and sent it to her. I told her how much I missed her, which didn't make a whole lot of sense because we had been "talking" so much. What I was trying to say, was it was such a beautiful and relaxing evening, and I would have given anything to have been able to share it with her in person. The scene was causing me to well up a little, but I was able to use the excuse of the air being so dry.

The next afternoon, we had about 4-5 hours of "free-time". It was Saturday afternoon, and since it was a weekend, Kathy and I couldn't talk as freely as we did during the week, since her family was home. I decided to hop a shuttle and go over to the Village and do a little shopping for her. She collected crosses, and I had decided that I would try and find her a cross that she could hang on her wall which could always remind her of me. I figured this was a "safe" gift in that the chances of Scott ever asking where it came from were probably very remote. I actually would have been surprised if he ever would even notice it.

As I was walking through the streets of the Village, it was such a surreal feeling for me. I was by myself, far from my real life, shopping for no one else but the woman I was so madly in love with. I strolled through the shops, taking my time so I wouldn't miss anything. I eventually found one, although it wasn't quite what I had in mind, and purchased it. I then made my way back to my room to relax a little before taking in the last night's activities which were a tradition at our conferences.

The festivities went quite late, and I had to be packed and downstairs by 4:30am to catch the shuttle back to the airport. I felt like a zombie as we drove down the rough roads with the big windows of the shuttle shaking and rattling. We arrived at the airport and I quickly made my way through security and to my gate. Since this all happened very much quicker than I had anticipated, I had some time to kill. I got some breakfast and then walked through a few shops that were already open at this ungodly hour. As I looked at the trinkets hanging on the wall, there it was... a cross exactly like I was looking for. I had no choice but to buy it and she would now have two for her wall. Since it was early Sunday morning, I sent her an "offline" YM message, and then boarded my plane. I had the next couple of hours to try and psych myself up to enter back into reality. As I landed, like clockwork, I had a couple YM messages and a voicemail waiting for me... and yes... I had to listen to it more than once.

# Hawaii... Day 10

It's mid-morning by the time we finally wake up. After 10 days, we are finally getting used to the time change. After a wonderful evening last night...that is a good thing!

Today is our last day on the Big Island. We will be catching a flight this afternoon to Maui. We have the rest of the morning to get our stuff together and head to the airport.

You, like me, are not too anxious to get out of bed and get started. We had an awesome night and are still cuddled and slowly running our hands along each other's bodies. I take my hand and move your hair out of your eyes, and lean in and give you a tender kiss.

"Good morning Babe."

As I pull back, I see your eyes open, and I stop and stare in them for a moment. I'm reminded of the lyrics..."All I ever want is in your eyes". You give me a smile that melts my heart, and I lay my head on your chest, and listen to your heart beat. Your perfume still fills my senses and drives me crazy...reminding me of the time I rediscovered you after 30 years. I lay there and say a little prayer thanking God for you.

"I'm still really sleepy Sweetie. Feeling pretty content too I must say," you sleepily say. "Lay here and hold me a little longer. It feels nice."

We doze off again, and wake up about an hour later.

"Wow! I told you I was still sleepy. It seems like I just closed my eyes. I guess we should get up now huh?"

"Well that's what you get for keeping me up until all hours of the night," I chuckle.

"Uh huh... Whatever Sugar."

"Just sayin..."

We take turns getting ready and getting our stuff packed up. We load the car, check out, and are on the way to the airport. It is a short drive and the flight from Kona to Kahalui is a short one also. We grab a quick snack for breakfast before boarding the plane.

Arriving in Kahalui, you already know the drill. Get the luggage, you wait while I get the car, we load the bags, and then we are on our way. We will be staying in the Lahaina area, so we take the drive to the west side of the island. It is noticeably dryer than the east coast, but has a beauty all its own.

We drive past the Maui Aquarium, and through a couple tunnels. We are now on the coastal highway, and we are enjoying the fantastic views.

We arrive at our hotel, and get checked in. Our room is a lovely bungalow that has sliding glass doors in both the living room and bedroom, which open up to the lawn. A short walk across the lawn and we are then on the powdery sands of the beach. We put our things away, and get changed for a little shopping and dinner. We head into Lahaina, and start our evening at the Whalers Village.

This is a neat multilevel outdoor mall that actually has a small museum of whaling. We take a few minutes and go through the museum, and then start our shopping in earnest. We hit most of the shops and have a great time strolling through the ritzy ones as well as the bargain ones. Finished, we take our bags and place them in the car as we hop in to go find something for supper.

We park and start our search for food on Front Street. You are wearing a camo green t-shirt with a mid-length black skirt. You have your new camo watch that we finally found, and all of your beautiful silver accessories. I again am in my khakis and Hawaiian shirt. We stroll down Front Street and decide to have dinner at Kimo's. It's a beautiful place, right on the water. The menu consists of steaks, seafood, and Hawaiian cuisine. We both settle on fresh seafood, and a nice white wine. The food is delicious and the wine refreshing. Finished with our entrees, the waiter comes by and I order us a slice of Hula Pie to share for dessert. The slice is big enough for two, so it arrives with two forks. Since this is your first time for Hula Pie, I take the fork and begin to feed it too you. The look on your face says that I made the right choice. You can't believe that you have missed out on this treat for all of these years. How can Hula Pie have been kept a secret? I'm having fun feeding you and the wine is having its effect too. We have a perfect spot on the patio to watch the sun set.

We again toast each other with a clink of our glasses and share a kiss, your lips tasting of hula pie and wine.

As we walk back toward the car, we hear music coming from "Timbas"...a little night club. We duck in for another glass of wine and to work off a little of the dessert. The club is right on the water, so the scenery and atmosphere is intoxicating. The music is traditional dance fare mixed in with 80's. I'm not that much of a dancer, but the wine mixed with your playfulness, makes for a wonderful time. As I'm walking back from the bar with more wine, the most perfect song starts playing... "Shining Star" by the Manhattans. I set down the wine, and take you in my arms, as we make our way to the dance floor. We share a long gaze into each other's eyes, as I slowly kiss you and we began to sway to the music. For whatever reason, it's apparent to others that this song holds special meaning for us. They give us room to dance and as the song is over, they are still watching us, and we actually hear a little applause. Since that would be a hard act to follow, we finish our wine and make our way to the car.

After arriving back at the hotel, you suggest we take a midnight stroll along the beach. Hand in hand, we walk in the surf, under the brightness of the moon, pulling each other close from time to time. The heat from our bodies and the coolness of the water washing over our feet and legs make for an interesting combination. I pull you close and kiss you while slowly running my tongue over your lips. You respond by sucking my tongue into your mouth as we wrap our arms around each other. I run my hands along your back and then around to your front as I squeeze your breasts through your shirt. I slowly alternate from kissing your lips to moving to your neck and shoulders. We stand in the moonlit surf in an embrace that neither of us wants to relinquish.

Eventually we come up for air and with my arm around your shoulders, we return to our room. We get out of our wet clothes, and step into the shower to get the sand and salt off of our bodies. We dry off and you lay on the bed as I put our "Hawaiian Bubble Bath" mix cd into the player. I walk back to the bed, and lay besides you. We kiss again, and I roll onto your body, holding your hands in mine, above your head. I continue to kiss you and move to your neck and ears. You give a little giggle as it tickles a bit, and since I have your hands pinned above your head, it heightens the sensation and you start to squirm under my weight. You pull your legs up as I lay between them and I move down and start kissing your breasts. Your breathing deepens as you pull me close and we melt into each other's bodies time and again for the rest of the night...

# Chapter Eleven

"I never want to lose...

this feeling here with you.

It's in the way you move...

underneath the sky, the stars, the moon.

I can feel it in your touch...

the fire burning from your fingertips.

I'm addicted to the rush...

the feeling of your heartbeat on my lips.

Without you I can't live.

I never want to lose this feeling.

It's keeping me alive.

I never want to lose this feeling.

Lying here with you tonight.

I can feel your heart is beating.

And the magic's still alive.

I never want to lose this feeling.

As I look into your eyes."

_"I Never Want to lose This Feeling"_ _~ the Envy_ 10

Mike:

**Subject:** Wednesday Afternoon

Hi Baby,

Got lots to say I guess...not sure where to start or how to say it. I suppose I will just start writing and see where this ends up.

My feelings for you have not changed. I still love you more than I can say. I don't know why I still feel this way, but I do. I still can't wait to talk to you everyday. I can't wait to hear from you every morning. I love hearing about what you are doing during your day. I can't wait to see you online at night to talk with some more. You bring so much to my life and it feels good to know you are a text or an IM away. I still have emails you wrote expressing your feelings. It feels so nice to have someone say those things about me. I still have your phone messages to listen to when I feel the need to hear your voice. It makes me a little uncomfortable to say these things, because I guess to some people, it may sound a bit compulsive (not sure that is the right word) or even like a stalker (not the right word either, but am having a helluva time trying to find the right ones). I assure you that I am of sound mind. I know the difference between loving someone and going off the deep end. I still have these things because you are 300 miles away and I've only got to see you once on 30 years. It's just my way of coping and being reassured. I'm not sure I have ever felt this way about someone. yes...I had feelings for M, but this is different. I'm different. I'm 30 years older, and maybe have finally figured out what it is to be in love with someone. When you got out of that van, I don't think it would have made any difference what you looked like...even if you were one legged and a glass eye....if you were Martian...we may have had to talk about that...:-)

Having said all of that, that is why I have felt like i have been smothering you. You seem to have finally turned the corner on all of this. You seem to be at a point where you are comfortable knowing I'm there, but don't have to always have to interact. I always try and make sure you have a "good morning" waiting for you when you get up. Not because I feel that I have to, but because I want to. I know it's nice to have one waiting for me when i get to sleep late on occasion. Whenever I get a response, it feels nice knowing you are thinking of me. Doesn't have to be a long drawn out conversation...just a quick exchange. i know your mornings can be a zoo, but it's nice knowing you are ok. The little texts or IMs during the day, really make my world go round. And obviously talking at night, is a nice way to end my day. My concern about writing all of this down, is that now you will feel like you have to do certain things. That on top of all of the other crap, now you have this guy that you have to make sure he knows you love him. I don't want to become another chore or an afterthought..."Oh dang...it's 10am. i guess I better tell him "good morning" so his little world doesn't crumble". It's also very hard to say these things because I don't really know how it is in your world. i don't know how difficult it really is to be able to get on a computer and chat, or send an IM from time to time. i can only imagine the demands that are placed on you to run your household. Having to satisfy one more person's emotional needs may be too overwhelming sometimes.

So...At this point I'm not really sure where you are at in all of this. I don't know if the fun has finally worn off and now its a burden. I don't know that if after meeting me, it's different. i don't know that after i kissed you, that it took things where you don't want to go. You have mentioned a couple of times you felt like you might have been leading me on. I'm not clear if you mean that in a relationship way, or a sexual way. As far as a relationship way, that might be so, since we have said many things to each other about our feelings and our love for one another. As far as a sexual way... i do not feel like you have led me on at all. Yes, we have talked and joked about things, but like I said before. I wasn't coming up there just to get laid. That's always a catch-22 thing to me. If you say you want to sleep with someone, then you run the risk of them thinking that is all you are after...and if you say you don't, then they ask "why not? What's wrong with me that you don't want to sleep with me?" I stand by what i originally said. I wasn't coming up there to sleep with you...but i wouldn't turn it down either. I've never been with another woman since I've been married, nor have you been with another man. Being the reason someone broke their vows, is something i don't take lightly. If you did, i would want you to know that that i love you with all my heart and it wouldn't just be meaningless sex that 6 months later you would be looking back saying..."after all of these years...and i broke my vows for something that doesn't mean anything anymore?"

Ok... I'm gonna stop now. I hope most of this makes sense and that you will have a better understanding of where I am with things. hopefully you will be able to comment, so I can say the same about you.

I love you Kathy,

Mike

Kathy:

Hey sweetie,

After reading this I am at a loss for words. Im not sure if what im about to say will make any sense or just be babbling....you know me.

It did really scare me when you kissed me. And I guess when you told me you had us a room, scared me even more. I was at the point where everything seemed okay, then tommie got sick. It has been a helluva past few days, but hopefully he can go to school tomorrow...as I need a break. Doris turns out had a really bad migraine and a bladder infection. Went to go see her this evening when Scott got home. I just got to come in and lay down to talk with you.....after getting home, getting kids and scott fed, kitchen cleaned and tommie bathed.

I dont really know how to respond to all this. Yes I do love you, I have felt things i havent felt in a very long time. It has been so nice to talk with you every day and know that you are so close. I have been picking up on a few vibes lately, didnt know if it was me or you.....I guess Im very scared about things and dont want to be leading you on or teasing you in any way. I do have two children I have to think about, one of which is only 4 years old.....and that scares me even more.

It was so good to see you again and be able to just sit and have someone listen to me for a change. I dont get that very often up here. I do have feelings for my husband, but sometimes they just feel like im going through the motions, you know? Its almost like he's got his life and I have mine, but I havent been unfaithful to him since we got married. I know he's done some things in the past that have really hurt me to the core; I dont wish that on anyone as it was extremely hard to handle. Guess its one thing to talk about things and joke about them, but when it comes down to it, scares the hell out of me. Im scared to admit things to you, just so I dont lead you on in anyway. I know it made me stop and think when you jokingly told me I was teasing you with my pictures. Guess I have been so insecure with things for so long, I need reassurance from the opposite sex. It feels so good to be told that you are pretty and still can make someone want you, you know?

All I know is you have become a part of me, and that scares me to just say it. Guess i am even more fearful or what might happen should we spend more time together....especially after that kiss. I am not ready to take any more steps to stray or be unfaithful.....just the thought of all that scares me more than words can say.

I hope this all makes sense.....and especially with Tommie getting sick and Doris having her episode, it made me stop and think even more about things.....like what would I have done had I not been here today...you know?

I do love you Mike, and I cant begin to tell you how wonderful the past months have been knowing you were so close and cared so much about what I was doing and hearing how you were....knowing your thoughts and the feelings that all that stirred within me..guess Im just not ready to take things to the next level......you know? And I so dont want to lead you on in anyway....you mean to much to me.....i dont want to lose that either....

Does all this make any sense? I feel like Im just babbling.....I tend to do that you know.

Please know that you are in my heart and I so hope this makes some sense...

Miss you,

Kath

* * *

With everything that had been going on, we still had not seen each other in person for 30 years. We talked a lot about finally making that happen. With everything that we had shared over the past couple months, I so wanted to just hold her, feel her, and take her in. I wanted to have a real conversation with her, and be able to see her expressions, and see the light in her eyes and her smile.

We finally decided on a day and we decided we could meet in Westport. I had clients in Kathy's area and it was not that unusual for me to go up there from time to time. I could leave around 6am or so, and be up there about the time she got finished dropping the kids at school. We thought that IHOP would be a fitting place since we had so much fun, at my expense, concerning the pancake story. As the time grew closer, and since it was a couple weeks before her birthday, I decided that I was going to surprise her with a little intimate birthday party. After all of this time, all I wanted to do was to have her to myself, and to have 5-6 un-interrupted hours to talk and catch up on the last 30 years. Yes, we had talked on the phone, and we had texted, and chatted, but it was not nearly the same as being able to talk to her in person. I had a couple weeks to plan, so I got to work on it.

About a week before we were to meet, she texted me to ask if I had plans for lunch in a couple days. She had received word that her grandmother was sick and that she would be driving through town by herself. I checked my schedule, and unfortunately I already had a big 401k presentation with my partner that afternoon. We were supposed to be there at 1:30, and she was going to be in town about 11:30. Not much time but we could probably squeeze out about an hour and a half together. I was so excited and nervous! After 30 years... it was going to happen in a couple days! I made arrangements to meet my partner on the north side of town, so Kathy and I could spend the most possible time together.

The day arrived, and I was beside myself all morning. Kathy texted and said she was running late... great.

I decided to drive north to meet her. I made it up to Glenwood, and then called her. She said she was about 15 minutes away. We decided to meet at Taco Express, so I went there and parked to wait for her. I called her again and gave her the exit number and directions. She told me that she was at the light, was driving a black minivan, and would be there in a few seconds. I had parked facing the access road and got out of my van as she drove past me to the entrance. As she passed me in the parking lot, I could see her beautiful blond hair and her unbelievable smile as she waved at me. I followed her over as she parked, and was at her door as she turned off the key and stepped out. We were immediately in a hug that went on and on. Just remembering it still gives me chills today. As we hugged, I buried my face in her neck, taking in her perfume and whispering how good it felt to finally be able to hold her. After a couple minutes, she whispered "you can let go now", but I knew she wasn't being serious, as her grip on me had not loosened at all. We stayed in this hug, right in the middle of the parking lot, for what had to be 2-3 minutes. I often wondered what the people who saw us might have been thinking. We finally relinquished our hold, and then got a look at each other. She was gorgeous! The eyes, the smile, the hair.

We made our way into the restaurant, and ordered. I was so nervous. I just wanted to touch her. We talked about who knows what. We had to show each other our phones, which had become so important in our lives. We texted each other so we could hear the "chimes" that had become such a beautiful sound to us. I tried to remember all of the things I wanted to ask her or tell her... but was not having much luck. I just sat there thinking that after all of this time, she was finally right in front of me... close enough to touch!

It didn't take long before my phone rang, and it was my partner letting me know he was on his way, and where I was to pick him up. Kathy and I got up and we walked to her van, hand in hand. After all of the anticipation, it was already time for it to end. We gave each other another big hug, and then after 42 years, I finally kissed her. I had wanted to do that since we were kids, playing on the brick BBQ pit in her backyard...but never got up the nerve. I now had my opportunity, and I was not going to let it get away. My hands were trembling, my knees were shaking, and my heart was pounding in my chest. The best part of the kiss?... She kissed me back. After finally coming up for air, I looked into her eyes, and kissed her again. I did not want this moment to end.

We finally hugged one last time, and I closed her door for her. I was starting to walk away, but then turned around, opened her door, and kissed her again! As I walked back to my van, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it, as my knees were still shaking uncontrollably. We pulled out of the parking lot together, and then parted ways...again.

I picked up my partner, and we drove on to our meeting. He kept asking me questions and telling me stuff about the presentation, but I was nowhere to be found mentally. We arrived at the appointment, and then began the grueling presentation to the board of directors. At one point as I was sitting there, I happened to turn my head to the side, and realized that I could still smell Kathy on my shirt. I was in heaven, and could not quit taking her in...a bouquet that exploded in my head and my heart.

For the life of me, I can't remember what we told the board....but we got the contract.

We texted later that night and talked about our lunch. We both were still on a big high, and I for one, was still dealing with a heart that was pounding. My hands were still shaky and I was having trouble dealing with the fact that I now had this "secret" and I wanted to shout it out to the whole world. I had it a little easier since I could retreat upstairs as usual and not have to deal directly with anyone. She on the other hand, was staying with her mom and step-dad. They were so excited for her visit and she was "stuck" with them for the remainder of the night. We would "steal away" every chance we could find to "talk" for the next couple of days before her return home.

She had to leave early on a Friday morning to make a 11am meeting at the new high school her daughter would be attending in the fall. The time constraints meant that we would not be able to see each other on her way back through town. She texted, telling me she got a late start and was asking about the toll way around Ashland, and if it would save her any time. I told her that it was technically longer, but probably quicker since she would not have to deal with the Ashland morning commuters. Her other issue of the morning was going to be the weather. There was a large system of rain and thunderstorms just to the west of her route, and it would be moving her direction. As she made her way north, we talked about our meeting, her visit, the weather, and many other things. I would give her a weather update every 15 minutes, as I was checking the radar on my phone, and she would tell me where she was along her trip. I was a little worried because she was driving so fast to make her meeting, but she made it safe and sound with about 10 minutes to spare. It started raining on her as she was walking into the school...

In the meantime, I had been working on our originally planned trip which was quickly coming up in a week. I felt that trying to talk and catch up in a loud restaurant was not going to work for me, and plus, we couldn't possible stay for 5-6 hours. It was at this point that I decided to get a room at the Springwood Inn and Suites. They had two room suites which were very reasonable and would give us enough room without having to sit or lay on a bed to talk. I thought this might be something that she might not consider to be very appropriate.

For her birthday party, I bought a very colorful plastic picnic tablecloth to put over the bed, where I was going to have a birthday cake, her presents, and lots of finger foods we could snack on all day. I got plates, glasses, napkins, a couple platters, and bowls that matched the tablecloth. I bought two candle holders with white candles which stood about 12-14 inches high. I cut the top of the candles off and I got the flickering LED candles to put on the top since I was concerned that the smoke from real candles might set off the alarm. I got a nice picnic basket for her to put all of this stuff in after we were through, so it would all be in one place and she could use it again.

Along with her cake, we would have apples, bananas, pears, grapes, mangos, kiwi, caramel and cream cheese fruit dip, and of course, diet Dr Pepper.

I had put her crosses from Vegas in birthday bags with tissue, and also had a bag with packages of "AAA", "AA", "C" and "D" batteries... which was an inside joke that I thought she would find very humorous. I had two cards for her... one a funny "Hoops & Yoyo" card, and another more serious card that I had written a long birthday message in. I was so excited about what I had planned for her. It always seemed she was doing all of the planning at home, and no one ever took the time to plan nice things for her. I had put a lot of the music we liked on my laptop so we could listen to it while we visited. I also scanned a bunch of pictures in so we could look and talk about them. She wanted to see pictures of Amy when she was growing up, and especially lots of pictures of Hawaii, which I was always talking about.

Throughout the week leading up to our meeting, she kept asking where we were going to meet and what we were going to do. I was a little reluctant to tell her... one because I didn't want to spoil the surprise and two... because I thought the hotel room might not be such a good idea to her. I really didn't want to give up the room idea because I wanted to have a quiet place to finally be able to talk with her and plus it would provide the space and privacy for what I had planned.

Amazingly, my partner and I got a call from a vendor, inviting us up to a city near her to attend a Professional Golf Tournament, which would be taking place in about 10 days. We would drive up to the tournament on Sunday morning, spend the night, play a round of golf Monday afternoon, spend another night, have meetings most of the day Tuesday, and return to Ashland on Tuesday night. Looking at this schedule put a big smile on my face, since I saw a few hours of unaccounted for time on Monday morning. She would be able to take the kids to school, then we could meet for breakfast, visit a little, and then she could drop me off at the golf course. I would tell my partner that I was having breakfast with a friend of mine, and it would be no issue.

Things were happening in an amazing manner. I had not seen her in 30 years, and now I was going to be able to see her 3 times in less than 2 weeks. How cool is that?

It's the afternoon before we are to meet for her birthday party. I am running around getting last minute things for the trip, and then it happens. My cell phone rings and it is Kathy, and she is almost in tears. She had got a call from the pre-school her son was attending, saying that he was not feeling well and appeared to be running a fever. She was on her way to pick him up and take him to the doctor, to see what exactly was going on, knowing that if he actually was running a fever, he would not be able to attend school the next day. After arriving at the Dr's, she texted me the bad news. She would not be able to meet. She would have to stay home with her sick child. Needless to say I was bummed beyond belief, but I also understood. What can you do? Her priority was to her son and her family, and this actually caused us to stop and take a look at things. A kind of slap in the face from reality. We talked a little that night, and she told me how sorry she was for messing things up. I told her to never feel that way. No matter what ever happens between us, her family would always have to come first. Since the trip was not going to happen, she asked again what I had planned. I finally told her about the birthday party and of course about getting the room. She said she didn't know what she would have done, if she knew I had a room. I assured her that as much as I desired her, my intentions were noble. We talked about my birthday party plans, and how much I was looking forward to being able to spend some quiet time talking. As our conversation ended, I could feel a bit of a strain in her "voice".

She texted me early the next day saying her elderly friend Doris had been taken to the ER and admitted to the hospital. Doris and her husband Joe were kind of Kathy's "adopted grandparents". She got a neighbor to watch her son, while she went to the hospital, and then to check on Joe. She returned home, and then went back to visit Doris after Scott got home that evening. It was late when she got home, and she was exhausted... mentally and physically. We "talked" for a short time since she still had to get the kids ready for bed, and do a number of other things to close down her household for another day.

We emailed and texted for the next few days, trying to navigate this new bump in the road. It had opened up some dialog about stuff we had ironically never talked about before. It seemed we had covered so many subjects, but the one of taking our relationship to the "next level" had not really come up in any real seriousness. Sure we had talked about it, but I felt it was pretty clear that it was something she did not want at this time and I wasn't really ready to cross that line either. I had been married almost 26 years, and had never been unfaithful in the traditional sense. Yes, there had been a kiss here and there, but that is it. One could argue that what I had with Kathy was far worse than a quick roll in the hay. When it came to Kathy, sex was secondary. THAT is what really scared me. I loved her for who she was and how she made me feel. I just wanted to be around her, be with her, share my life with her. Sex? That would just be icing on the cake. At 48 years of age, could I have possibly finally figured out what love was really all about?

So we kind of cooled down for a bit, but there was still the issue of my trip that was rapidly approaching. I told her that I still had all of her birthday presents that I wanted to give her, and plus we are adults, and there should be no reason we can't spend a couple hours together and not have to worry about it escalating. I promised her that I would "behave" myself, so we decided to go ahead with having breakfast.

I told Kelly, as I was leaving, that I would meet him at the golf course. He told me to have a good time and be sure to bring my "A" game to the course. He didn't ask why I was taking all of the crap I had in my hands. I had my huge computer bag and another big bag which had her presents inside. I just said that I was taking my laptop to share some stuff on it and that I had my golf clothes in the other bag. I was hoping that this might stave off any further questions. Luckily my golf clubs were in his truck, and I wouldn't have to worry about hauling them too.

I was waiting downstairs for her as she tried to navigate all of the construction in the area of the hotel. She finally arrived about 20 minutes late and the look on her face was priceless as she looked at all of the stuff I was packing. She asked if I was running away or something. I climbed in, and said hello. She looked awesome with her blond hair and quirky sunglasses. I asked her where she was taking me, and she said a little mom and pop place she used to frequent a few years back when she worked in the area.

We made small talk on the way to the restaurant, and when we arrived, I gave her a hug, and then felt like an idiot since I was hauling all of this stuff inside. We found a booth in the back, out of the way, and sat across from each other. I held her hands across the table as we talked and looked into each other's eyes. Her smile let me know that she was comfortable, although I was a bit nervous, not wanting to do anything that might cause tension. The waitress took our order, and yes, we had to order pancakes, as we both got a big laugh out of this.

I looked into her eyes, and said "Happy Birthday", then dug into my bag to find her two cards. She opened the "Hoops & Yoyo" one first and got a big laugh since it was one of those talking cards and it was pretty loud. We both looked around to see if it had got the attention of others in the restaurant. She opened the other card next, and as she started to read it, I could see her eyes welling up, so she closed it and said she would have to read this one later when she had some privacy. I gave her the first bag and she reached inside and picked up a package of batteries that I had wrapped in tissue. As she un-wrapped it, she got a look on her face, placed them on the table and reached in for another. As she un-wrapped the next one, she started laughing and asked if the whole bag was batteries, and I said "yes"... that I didn't know what size she needed, so I covered all of the bases.

I gave her the next gift bag, and she un-wrapped the first cross that I had found. She said she absolutely loved it and that it would go great with the décor of her kitchen and dining area. I said I was relieved because it was not exactly what I was looking for, but it had to do at the time because I couldn't find any others. She then opened the last one and pulled out the cross that was thin and delicate, and made of sandstone. It had that southwestern look and was signed and numbered by the artist. It hung by a thin copper wire, and was exactly what I had envisioned. As she looked at it, she said "You did very good. I love it" as she marveled at its beauty.

Next I booted up my laptop, and we looked at a few pictures of Amy growing up, and some of Hawaii. She said looking at Amy made her realize that she wasn't wrong about how she felt of me being a good Daddy. She could tell by the look in Amy's eyes and the ever-present smile on her face. Her words got to me as I started to get emotional and begged to change the conversation.

Finishing breakfast, I packed up my stuff and we made our way to the counter. I paid and we headed to the van as we talked about what to do now. We had about an hour and a half before I needed to be at the golf course, and the drive would take us about 45 minutes or so. She mentioned there was a few places in the area which imported jewelry, purses, scarves and the like, which she had not been to in a long time. She was really looking for a couple new costume jewelry watches to go with a few of her outfits. I said it sounded like fun, since I thought it would be interesting to shop with her and see the styles she liked, plus, hey... I was getting to spend time with Kathy and I wasn't too particular of the activity.

We arrived at the store, and it was run by an oriental family. There were many tables of purses, wallets, belts, and luggage, along with numerous counters with watches, necklaces, and other jewelry. She strolled the counters, picking out a couple watches, although they did not have one in camo-green, which she was looking for. We walked the aisles looking at the bags and briefcases, and every so often she would stop and lean her body into mine. I had my hand around her waist and would rub up and down her back while she shopped. She smelled wonderful and I was in heaven. It was another surreal moment for me, as I was having a hard time believing that I was actually there with her. We looked through some women's wallets that were black and white zebra print with a big pink initial on the front. We looked through all of them, but could not find a "K". They also had some matching notebooks, but again, no "K". We looked at the time and realized we needed to be leaving, so she paid for her watches and we started heading for the golf course.

On the way as we came up to a stoplight, we noticed a Sonic on the corner and decided we had to stop. Sonic was one of those things we both loved and always had in common... Diet Dr Pepper with vanilla for her and Diet Dr Pepper with cherry for me. We pulled in and ordered, and it seemed important to her that she pay. She said I had paid the two times before, and now it was her turn to treat me.

We drove along the roads and finally found the entrance to the course. We commented on the huge luxurious houses as we drove past them, but I was struggling with the fact that our morning together would soon be over. We arrived at the clubhouse, and drove to the far end of the parking lot, where there were no other cars, and parked. I figured we had about 5-10 minutes before I would have to go in. We talked again about how nice it was to see each other. She joked and said how surprised she was that I seemingly enjoyed shopping with her. I said I didn't care what we did, as long as I was with her, plus... she wasn't spending my money. We both laughed, and then kind of fell silent as we sat there not wanting the time to end.

She gently rubbed my hand and made a comment about the fact that it was shaking. We were leaned in against each other as I slowly rubbed her arm and the hand that was rubbing mine. I moved my hand and removed her sunglasses, which were hiding her beautiful eyes, placing the glasses on the dash, and I gently brushed her hair aside. We sat there, looking into each other's eyes, not really knowing what to say. I know that I had promised to "behave", but I couldn't help myself. I slid my hand behind her neck, pulling her to me, and I placed my lips on hers. I knew she had no objections as she lightly ran her tongue across my lips and pulled me closer. I finally pulled back, and looked into her eyes. I could not come up with any words, hoping that my eyes were saying everything I felt. I leaned in again, kissing her deeply, and then moving to her neck and ear. I told her I loved her more than I could ever possibly say. As I pulled back, still looking in her eyes, a surreal realization came over me. It was a realization that this might be the last time I would ever see her. School would be out in a couple days, and she would have the kids home all summer. It would be 2-3 months before we could possibly meet again, and a lot can happen in 3 months. As I got my stuff, and started making my way across the parking lot, it was all I could do to not burst into tears. My heart was pounding, but it was not a good pounding. It was a pounding of loss and heartache. I stopped in the parking lot as she drove by slowly waving, not wanting to miss any second of her until she disappeared around the corner.

As I was slowly gaining my composure, I arrived at Kelly's truck, about the same time as he drove up in our cart. I wasn't sure if he had witnessed any of what had just happened, but frankly, at this point, I didn't care. I put my laptop and other bag in the truck, got my clubs out, and headed inside to change.

An hour or so later, I got a text from her saying that she had made it back ok, and was at Marshalls trying to find a bathing suit for a weekend trip with her daughter. We chatted for a couple minutes and said we would talk later that night. Our golf round went later than usual, thus we were running late for dinner. Our hosts had booked us separate rooms for that night, so it took me extra time to check into my new room. I quickly took my shower, and got ready and met the guys downstairs. I noticed Kathy was available on YM, so I sent her a quick message saying that we were just about ready to leave for the restaurant and I would let her know when we got there. A couple minutes later we were in the car and headed out to make our reservation. The closer we got to the restaurant, the fewer bars I was getting on my phone. I couldn't believe it. I have Verizon and Kelly has AT&T. We always joke about how I have service no matter where we are and his is hit and miss. As luck would have it, right in the middle of the city, I had little to no service in the restaurant. I excused myself at one point to walk outside, where it appeared I had enough service to send a text. I let her know the situation, and approximately what time I felt we might be back at the hotel and I could get on my laptop. As we were finishing our dessert, two other guys finally showed up. Instead of us getting to leave, they ordered their entrées and more drinks for us. I again stepped outside to let her know of the new developments. I was livid at this point, and wanted nothing more than to get back and talk to her, especially about how and why I didn't totally "behave" myself and how she was feeling about it.

My laptop could not boot up fast enough. I hurriedly logged into YM and found a message that said she had to go to bed, and maybe we would be able to talk tomorrow. It was time-stamped ten minutes before. I was crushed. I so wanted to talk about the day and the time we spent together. I wanted to know how she was feeling about things. As I lay in bed, trying to go to sleep I couldn't help but think how close Kathy really was to me, as I could "feel" her through the universe. I had time to think about this whole situation and I knew it probably wasn't right, but I also knew I never wanted it to end. I knew in the big picture, there was really no way we could be together anytime soon, but I also knew she was now part of my being, and I would do whatever was needed to keep her in my life.

The next day I tried logging onto YM through my phone at the hotel, without much luck. I couldn't email but was finally able to send her a text, again letting her know what was going on.

That afternoon after the conclusion of our meeting, Kelly and I headed back home. Traffic was bad and we were both hungry, so we decided to take a detour and stop for a good steak. I finally had decent phone service, so Kathy and I were able to communicate. I told her we were getting ready to leave the restaurant and I could talk when we got on the road. As Kelly and I drove home, I had two conversations going. One with him, and one with Kathy. We talked non-stop for the next 3 hours, and by the time I got home, all seemed right in my universe once again.

# Hawaii....Day 11

I awaken with your body still snuggled up against mine....the heat of your bare skin making a wonderful contrast to the frigid conditions of our room. I lay and breathe you in as you are all over my body. I love the smell that is only you, and can never get enough. I lay there and listen to you breathe and brush your hair with my hand. You eventually wake, and give me a kiss. We lay there holding each other as we wait to finally get the strength and courage to get out of bed.

"I love you Kathy."

"I love you more Michael."

Today we are planning a leisurely day of driving the road to Hana, and then on to the Seven Sacred Pools. It will be a fun day of really doing nothing but driving and enjoying being with each other.

Arriving in Kahalui, we decide to stop at a store for an ice chest, premade sandwiches, drinks, and some chips. We get the car packed, put the top down, and set out on our adventure. The Road to Hana is only about 30 miles or so, but is filled with hundreds of hairpin turns, 50-60 one lane bridges, and enough breathtaking scenery to last a lifetime. Some of the most beautiful jungle scenery, ocean views, and waterfalls can be found on this trip. It doesn't take long for us to see our first waterfall, and it gives us a taste of what is to come for the next few hours.

We continue to drive on and are amazed at the scenery. The crystal blue Pacific, the dark black rock lining the coastline, the hundreds of shades of green of the forests. With the top down, we can smell all of the plumeria and ginger was we drive along. We can't help but stop at each waterfall we come to, as it seems to be better than the last.

On the other side of the road, we stop and take in the view of the road as it hugs the cliffs along the shore.

We press on and find ourselves stopping at every scenic advantage point. We take tons of pictures as we try and capture the unparalleled beauty of this place. It is getting warmer now, and you are glad you are wearing your sundress today. You have a 11 day Hawaiian glow about you and simply look stunning. It's all I can do to keep my eyes on the road....torn between your beauty and the beauty of this paradise.

We finally make our way through Hana, and then on toward the Seven Sacred Pools. We pass a couple more breathtaking waterfalls, which of course, we have to take pictures of. We are both getting hungry now, and can't wait to settle down for our picnic. It's been a tough, yet fun drive, and I'm ready for some relaxation and some Kathy time.

We finally make it to the pools and are treated with some spectacular views.

We gather our picnic stuff and head out for a secluded place in the forest, where it will be just us and no other care in the world. We find that spot, and spread out our blanket, and unpack the sandwiches and chips. As you are placing the items before us, I can't help myself, and lean in and kiss you. You place your hands on my face and pull me to you, kissing me back very passionately. We lay together on the blanket, staring into each other's eyes, as we listen to the waterfalls, and the surf in the distance, along with enjoying the magnificent bouquet of the plumeria and ginger in the air. What a way to start a life together. This trip has been so much more than I could have ever hoped for. Moments like these will be with me for a lifetime.

We finally decide to eat and before long are getting rather sleepy and in need of a little nap. The thick canopy of the trees gives us plenty of shade and the cool breezes makes it very comfortable. I slide over and kiss you. I lay down pressed up against your back, with my arm over you and my hand on your breast. With my body against yours, it leaves no doubt about how beautiful you are to me. I smell your hair and the perfume you dabbed on your neck this morning. I close my eyes and feel each breath you take. We just lay there, not speaking, letting the worries of a busy world fall on someone else's shoulders for a change. We nod off for a short while, in a way that consumed so many daydreams since we met. It's so hard to believe that they have finally come true.

The sound of approaching people finally wakes us, and we begin to pack up and walk to the car. With our picnic supplies loaded, we wade into one of the pools to cool off a bit before starting the journey back. Strolling in, I can't resist giving you a big splash of water that soaks you pretty good. You scream at me and then start to laugh as you swing your arm towards me, your hand hitting the water, sending a big splash my direction, totally soaking me too. The laughing and splashing goes on for a while as we both end up soaking wet, laughing, in each other's arms. After kissing me, you start back toward the car, your sundress now a bit transparent, to my delight. I can't help but stare as I follow your swaying body while you walk ahead of me. You always seem to be a little embarrassed when I compliment your undeniable beauty, so I decide to keep this vision to myself....my own little secret.

We take a small detour in the quaint town of Hana, to track down a red sand beach. After finding it, we take a few photos, and are soon on a way back to Kahalui.

We arrive in Kahalui ahead of schedule and decide to go see the IAO Needle since we are on this side of the island. It's a short drive through town, and well worth the few extra minutes.

The whole area has a lovely park like feel, with awesome views and lots of flowing water. We stroll hand in hand through the grounds, again, taking lots of pictures.

Returning to Lahaina, we comment about how fun and relaxing this day has been. We pick up some take-out pizza, and... you guessed it... a nice bottle of merlot. Upon returning to our bungalow, we get a couple plates and glasses, and sit out on our lanai just in time to see the sun setting over the deep blue Pacific. We talk about the day and about how incredible this trip has been. We talk about our lives, and how crazy and unbelievable things have turned out. We both babble on and on because we can. It's so nice to talk so freely and not worry about saying the wrong thing... something so new to each of us. Looking at the clock, we realize we have been talking for 2 hours. We know we need to turn in, because we will be getting up in the middle of the night, and drive to the top of a volcano to watch the sunrise.

With Mikey dutifully keeping a watch from the edge of the tub, we jump under the spray of the shower and lather up each other's bodies. We have a good laugh as we slide up and down and back and forth against each other. We take turns under the spraying water to rinse away the soap. I step out of the shower and you remain to finish rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. With your eyes closed, I stick my hand in, and turn the water on full cold as I make a run for the door. I hear a loud scream and some type of threat. I this point I have turned out all of the lights in the bedroom, and am hiding behind the door. You come out wrapped in your towel, slowly looking around, trying to find me. I jump out from behind the door and tackle you onto the bed. Your screams quickly turn into giggles as we wrestle around on the bed in the dimly lit room. I remove your towel to reveal the beautiful body I'm getting ready to ravish. You're still giggling as you complain that it is cold in the room, although the heat is rising quickly. I kiss your lips and you playfully bite mine. I move to start biting your ear lobes as you flick your manicured nails across my chest, sending shivers throughout my whole body. I quickly move to your neck and shoulders, not being able to get to your body quickly enough. I move my lips back to yours and then down your chin and neck, and further still to your breasts. Your giggles have now turned into moans as I kiss and nibble your chest, first one side, then the other. I sit up and I straddle you, taking both of your breasts in my hands and feasting on your delicious skin. You are now running your fingers along my back and then on both sides of my face as you pull me closer to you. I eventually move down along your stomach with my kisses, and then farther down, pausing as my tongue traces the outline of your bellybutton. Slowly I slide farther down, and gently kiss and taste your soul. I slowly kiss, nibble, suck, bite, lick, and nuzzle your beauty until you can't take it anymore and clutch your thighs around my head and deeply moan your approval. You take your hand and move me away since you are overly sensitive now, and I work my way back up, kissing your bellybutton, stomach, breasts, neck, and finally your lips once again. As I slide my body up along yours, we melt into each other once again, until we are both spent, and fall blissfully asleep.

# Chapter Twelve

"All I am.

All I'll be.

Everything in this world,

All that I'll ever need.

Is in your eyes.

Shining at me...."

_"I Do (cherish you)"_ _~ Mark Wills_ 11

* * *

Kathy:

Hey sweetie....

>

>I know it feels so weird not talking to you tonight...guess im a bit gunshy after falling asleep last night. I dont think scott read anything, but guess i am wanting to play it safe and not act like anything is weird. Although it is so strange not talking to you....

I do miss you...hope you are having a good evening... you are in my thoughts (i know nothing new)...

>

>Love you,

>Kathy

Mike:

hi love,

>

>Yes... I missed you too this afternoon and especially tonight. But I do understand you being gunshy. I'm sorry that happened.

>Thanks for the update on you day, as you know I love hearing about it.

I love you too.

Mike

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Hawaii Day 5

Here ya go Baby!

Kathy:

i think this is your best one yet....

as i sit smiling and feeling you next to me

Mike:

Best one yet? Well i'm torn between wanting to show you things and saying what i really want to do. Not always sure where to go with it. Purposely leaving out things..figuring you can read between the lines. didn't want to be too graphic...although that wouldn't be hard to do. It's your stories. let me know...

Kathy:

big smiles.....and just what are you leaving out there my dear?

sometimes graphic is good....although i am probably reading between the lines pretty well..i think....

love you,

kath

Mike:

**Subject:** Hawaii day 10

Here ya go!

Kathy:

so,,,,,can we leave now? please?

Hmmmmmmmm

Kath

* * *

Kathy:

Subject: Re: Hawaii Day 14

all i can say is wow........

mike:

Wasn't sure what to do with this one. I knew where we were going and what we were gonna do, but that can get a little boring to read...or it seems to me. You might be having a good time reading that stuff, let me know and I can change my perspective about how I feel. I decided to take a bit more graphic approach to see what would happen. I had mixed feelings about how it turned out. Wasn't sure how to interpret your "wow" comment either.

Love ya,

Mike

Kathy:

Well, i did enjoy reading this one. The "wow" comment was just that "wow".....you got to me.....

Hope all is well with you ~ I did love Day 14.......

I love you,

Kathy

* * *

Kathy:

Subject: Friday

Hey honey!

Never really got a chance to be on tonight.....jessica wanted me to watch valentine's day with her and tommie has been so clingy..not to mention, scott wont let me be alone......watched the movie, just finished....got tommie tucked into bed and now scott is wanting my attention.....i just want to be left alone to talk to you....

So, i thought i'd try writing a quick email...hope you had a good evening....i so miss you....

Hope you have a good evening, know that I am thinking of you....

love you sweetie,

Kath

* * *

"So is Hawaii really that beautiful?" she asked while we were talking about our morning together. "Yes" I said. "The pictures really don't do it justice." She said they had done a little traveling, and had even taken a cruise, but she had never been to Hawaii. I have a hard time not just going crazy once I start talking about my favorite place in the whole world... The Hawaiian Islands, and the North Shore of Kauai in particular. I realize that I have been so fortunate to have been there as many times as I have. I try not to sound braggadocios about it, because I want people to listen when I talk about the islands, not tune me out because they think I'm acting like a "big shot" or something.

Kathy said she always wanted to go, but the right opportunity just never came up... and I so understand that. I started telling her about Princeville, the area on the north shore of Kauai that we always go to. We had purchased a timeshare there many years ago, and usually try and get back every 3-4 years. It is absolutely my favorite spot in the whole world. There is something about it that just puts my heart at peace. I was telling her about all of the "micro-climates" on the island... how you can be in a jungle setting one minute, and just a few miles down the road, it may be very dry with cactus. I explained how the north shore is green and lush and the western side has barren landscapes and dusty little rural towns. At the time, the desktop picture on my laptop was one of Amy that I had taken up near Kokee' State Park, where the area was made up of very red dirt. She was standing on this red dirt, with her red hair, blue jeans, a yellow Hawaiian shirt, and the contrast between all of that and with the green trees made for an awesome picture. I was having a heck of a time describing this to her, like I am now, so I decided to send her the picture and then try and tell her about it as she looked at it as well. This turned out to be a great way to share the sights with her, and I sent many pictures as we would talk about them. I sent pictures of Hanalei Bay, Princeville, Kee' Beach, the Kalalau Valley, and countless other places. She seemed to really enjoy this and we talked about how awesome it would be to one day go there together. I promised her that all she ever had to do is ask...and we would do it. I will still honor that promise to this day.

Sharing and talking about the pictures and the thought of taking her there, got me thinking one day. What if I wrote a little narrative of what it would be like if we went, and include some pictures to show what we would be seeing? The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that I could pull it off. Trust me...I never felt I was any kind of a writer, in any way, shape, or form. But, I thought I could do well enough to get my ideas across, and the pictures could probably take care of the rest. So... with that thought, the "Hawaii Stories" were born.

As you have probably read by now, the stories started off pretty lame, and depending on one's perspective, you could argue they ended that way too. However, their intent wasn't literary brilliance, but just some writings between us that fulfilled some daydreams, and helped us pass the time away. As the stories progressed, we would talk about what we liked and didn't like. It soon became quite apparent, that as much as she liked all of the sites and places I was trying to "show" her, the interaction between the two of us was becoming the focal point. At first I didn't want to be too presumptuous about what we might or might not do if we were there. We had just come out of deep discussions about how "the kiss" had made her step back and take a look at things, so I wasn't sure if it was ok to "go there". As the "days" progressed, we both became a little more comfortable with the way our relationship was being portrayed, and so some of the days were rewritten to include more interaction.

The stories became a great way for me to tell her how I felt and how I thought things might be if we ever ended up together. Yes, these stories were fantasy, but even if they were real, eventually we would have to come back to reality and deal with everyday life. I was being very truthful and sincere in how I would treat her and what she meant to me. The things I said to her or did for her were from my heart and I would do them if we were in Hawaii or if we were in Texas. We never mentioned exactly why we were there, although we alluded to being there, starting our new life together. We just let each other "fill in the blanks" in whatever way each felt most comfortable with.

By the time "Day 9" came around, she was making hints that she might like to try and write some too. She said she wasn't sure if she could do a whole day since she had never been there, so I suggested that I would write part of the day, and then she could finish it in whatever fashion she felt like. So, I wrote my part and sent her the story to finish. I can't tell you how excited I was when she finally said she was done and would send it to me. Although we had talked about the other days, they were still written from my perspective, so I was anxious to see how things would go from her eyes and heart. As I read the words she wrote, I was not disappointed. She blew me away and I was ready for her to write more. Being summer and having the kids home during the day and Scott at night, it was difficult for her to do this. She wrote the ending to Day 9 and eventually wrote part of Day 12, but was not able to contribute to any others.

During the time of the stories being written, I asked her what she was doing one night. She said she was watching one of her favorite old movies, "Tequila Sunrise". She said she loved the movie, but especially loved the music that was playing during a steamy love scene. She said the song was called "JoAnn's Song", and it was very sultry with lots of saxophone. Later that night, I Googled it and had a listen. Yes, it was very sensuous and sultry, and I realized that I had a number of CDs with the same type of music on them. I had collected the CDs over the years, and liked some of the songs but not all. I always wanted to go through them and make a CD of only the best songs which would make great background music for a romantic evening. Well... now I had my motivation. Over the next couple of weeks, I listened to all of the CDs in my van as I was driving. I had a notepad with me and I would write down the name of the good songs from each CD. When I was finished, I actually had enough songs to make 2 CDs which we named, "Hawaiian Bubble Bath CDs" in honor of our "trip".

There was one particular song called "Blindfold" and it was mainly played on the piano. It was very mellow and soothing, and I told her she was going to have to learn how to play it for me. I wanted her to wear her beautiful black lace negligee', light a couple candles, pour me a glass of wine, then sit me down at the piano next to her, as she played it for me.

It brings chills to me just thinking about it...

# Hawaii...Day 12

The buzz of an alarm is not the kind of sound you want to wake you when you are on vacation. Unfortunately I was not about to leave getting up on time to chance. We have a challenging drive in the dark ahead of us.

It's about 3am after an incredible night. I thought it might be tough trying to stay awake as we drive in the darkness to the summit of the volcano....but I'm sure I'll be wide awake replaying last night in my mind.

"This better be worth it," you groan. "I need my beauty rest."

"It will be awesome... you'll see. By the way...Good morning. I love you!"

"I guess we will be back early enough to take a nice afternoon nap huh? I love you too Sweetie."

We strip the blankets from the bed, so we will be able to wrap up in them to stay warm while waiting for the sunrise. It takes about 2hrs or so to make the drive to the summit of Haleakala...or "House of the Sun." The road from sea level to the summit, is known as the greatest rise in elevation over the shortest distance...which is only about 38 miles, but rises over 10,000 feet. There are numerous switchbacks on the way up and as you approach the summit, you see signs warning of ice on the road. Yes... we are in Hawaii! We reach the summit and park. We have 15-20 minutes before sunrise, so we find a place to sit, and wrap up in our blanket, holding each other. It's hard to believe how cold it is. The temperature drops about 3 degree per thousand feet of elevation. So at the 10,000 foot level, it's about 30 degrees colder than when we left. The temperature is in the low 40's with a stiff wind blowing, making the wind chill below freezing.

After a short wait, the sun finally makes it appearance. It is an awesome sight, and we hold each other as we take it all in. Seeing a sunrise from above the clouds, in the crystal clear skies, is truly amazing. It's kind of a spiritual moment not unlike watching a peaceful and tranquil sunset from a romantic beach.

After the spectacular sunrise, we take a few minutes to look at the exhibits in the visitor's center as we start to finally warm up. When we make our way back to our car, we sit for a while with the heater on before we see the clouds have finally burned off and the views are amazing.

We take a short drive and take a picture of the observatory at the summit. The bareness and colors make it look like something out of a sci-fi movie...like being on Mars.

We start to make our way down the mountain, and stop at a place to see the Silver Sword cactus. The slopes of this volcano are the only place in the whole world where this plant grows.

Arriving back at sea level, we find a little roadside diner, and go in to warm up and have breakfast. We are starving by this time, and order eggs, bacon, hash browns, and pancakes. We sit close to each other hoping our body heat will warm us up faster. The food is exceptional and we have a good time watching the locals as they come in and have their breakfast. It's just another day to them, seemingly unaware of the magnificence of this place.

We finish our breakfast, and start back to the bungalow. As we pass the Maui Aquarium, we realize that it is just 9am, and the aquarium is now opening. Since it is early, the weather is cool, and the crowds light, so we decide this might be a great time to see it.

We get our tickets and make our way through the exhibits. There are lots of exhibits of tropical fish and a very interesting one of humpback whales. They have a huge tank which you walk through in a tunnel with the fish swimming all around you, including sharks. It is very cool. We finally make our way outside to the pools which have a lot of honus swimming in them. We take lots of pictures as we stroll hand in hand through the facility.

Next we browse through the shops, and buy some items for the folks back at home. We pick up a few t-shirts, and magnets, before returning to the car.

With the top down, we are back on the highway, and heading "home". It's not even lunch yet, so we still have most of the day left to just relax and enjoy ourselves. We arrive back to our bungalow....both pretty quiet from being up so early. I suggest a little nap, and you quickly agree.

(Kathy contributed to this story in her own words)

Once we get back to our room, I wander into the bathroom to change clothes and get comfy. I quickly strip down and change into my navy blue tank top and jump into bed. You are already there waiting for me to climb in beside you. Once we are all snuggled up, we both drift off rather quickly holding each other close.

It's about 5:30pm when we finally both wake up. I look over to see if you are awake, peeking over my shoulder. You are laying there looking so peaceful. I don't want to wake you. I just lay there for a few moments, watching you sleep and wondering what you are dreaming about. You finally open your eyes, a little embarrassed that I was laying there watching you and stretch over to give me a kiss. I melt into your arms and we just lay there for a bit, feeling each other close.

After a few minutes of you holding me, you begin to slowly feel your way up and down my sides, breathing deep and I can tell by your moaning you want me once more. I ask you to roll over and lay on your stomach, so I can give you a really soothing massage. I want to pamper you as you have been pampering me. After a little persuading, you roll over and I climb onto your butt and begin rubbing your shoulders. I add a little lotion to my hands (which delightfully smells of coconuts), and continue rubbing/massaging your back, shoulders, arms and legs. I gently move myself around to where I have completely gotten your backside and then progress to move you once more to get your front.

This takes close to an hour, and by the time I am through, you are pretty much very peaceful and happy. I have managed to get every inch of you from your head to your feet and now you are covered in coconut smelling lotion. I just lie down beside you and hold you close. I am (by the way) very proud of you for letting me do all this, and you manage to keep your hands to yourself... hard as it may be.

Afterwards, I whisper into your ear that I am getting a little hungry, and you begin thinking about where we should go for supper. I want to just "grab a snack" and you decide we should have a "carpet picnic" and stay in tonight. I think that this is a wonderful idea, as we have just spent a relaxing afternoon focusing on just us. I immediately begin to make us a "grocery list" with things needed for our little supper and you offer to go to the store for us.

While you are gone to the store, I get the living area setup with a complete arrangement of a pallet, pillows, some candles, wine glasses, plates, utensils and etc. I have it complete when you come back with all of our goodies. I ask you to go and have a sit, while I get everything ready for us to enjoy. I arrange the colby jack cheese and crackers, fruit (which consists of grapes, strawberries, kiwi, some melon and cantaloupe), the jumbo chilled shrimp and cocktail sauce, and I save the caramel and chocolate sauce with ice cream for dessert a bit later. I take you the bottle of wine, and as you are opening and pouring our drinks, I bring in supper.

You are amazed as to how everything looks good enough to eat.... I begin giggling and we sit down and enjoy our feast.

(I finished the rest of the story)

"What are you giggling at Honey? Are you giggling at my comment? Everything does look good enough to eat... especially you."

"Already thinking about dessert Babe?"

"Absolutely ... As long as you are on the menu."

"I'm sure we could work something out," you counter with that playful look in your eyes.

We each fill out plates from the amazing feast you have laid before us. The shrimp looks incredible, and I dip one in cocktail sauce and hold it above your mouth before finally letting you have a bite. Your expert use of your tongue before gently biting the shrimp was a sight to behold... one that stirs that familiar desire in me. Lying against some pillows, wonderful food between us, soft music playing, and the sight of my beautiful woman are all I need for a perfect evening at home. With your wine glass empty, you lean across the platter of food for the bottle, your heavy breasts swaying under the thin material of your tank top. Your nipples harden as they brush against the soft fabric, much to my delight.

"Are you looking down my shirt my dear?"

"I most certainly am. You got a problem with that?"

"No... As long as looking isn't the only thing you do."

"All in good time Gorgeous."

I dip another shrimp and leaning over, I feed it to you. They are truly delicious. I grab a piece of melon and do the same, its juice running down your chin and then your cleavage.

"Ooops. Sorry about that dear."

"No worries. I'm sure it will get worse before this is all over," you say with promise in your eyes.

We fight over the last shrimp but cannot finish the cheese and crackers which went perfectly with the wine that came from the now empty bottle.

"I'm out of wine Baby. Do we have another bottle?"

"Yes Honey. The cork screw is in the second drawer."

I find the wine and the cork screw, and hear you coming into the kitchen. I turn to see you with the platter of food which you place on the counter. You cover it and place it in the fridge.

"Are you ready for dessert?" you ask.

"I was ready before we started!"

"We have sliced apples with caramel sauce and vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce."

"I'll take a little of both and a side of Kathy if that is ok with you."

We make a couple bowls of ice cream with chocolate and then slice an apple and place it in another bowl. We take the lid off the caramel dip and carry it all along with the wine back into the floor of the living room. We sit across from each other and begin to eat our ice cream. Right on cue, a drop of ice cream and chocolate drips from your spoon and falls on the inside of your thigh.

"I got it!" I say and I quickly lean down running my tongue along your thigh cleaning up the drip. Taking a look, I notice that there still seems to be a little chocolate on your skin, so I return my lips to you using my tongue to wet the area and gently applying some suction.

"Mmmm. That feels nice," you purr.

I set my bowl down and stretch my legs out to get comfortable as I lay on my stomach to have a better angle at the insides of your thighs. You lean back on the pillows moving your legs a little wider. I slowly kiss my way up your leg until I nuzzle your white lace panties with my nose. I kiss my way down your left thigh continuing on down your leg. Raising up, I have to chuckle at the sight of you laying back, after having my face buried in your business, while you continue to finish your ice cream.

"Enjoying yourself my Love?"

"Like you can't believe. Now quit talking," you say with a giggle.

Finishing your ice cream, you set the bowl down. I move up kissing your chocolate lips, then trailing kisses down your neck. I flick my tongue across your nipple through your shirt. I immediately hardens and I grab your breast with my hand, gently tugging your nipple through the fabric. You start to squirm as you press yourself harder into my mouth.

"Sit up for a second so I can get this shirt off you."

You sit up and I quickly remove it. My lips waste no time finding the bare pink skin of your breasts and the hot hardness of their pointed peaks. You continue to squirm as you use your hands to squeeze them and move your nipples around my mouth and lips. You arch your back as you wrap your legs around me, grinding your panty clad heat against me.

I get up on one arm, reaching for my bowl. I pick up the spoon, then drizzling some of the cool sweet mixture over both nipples and breasts.

"Arghh... That's cold."

"Yummy too," as I lick and suck the sticky sweetness off your skin. You grab my head firmly pressing it to your chest as you continue grinding your crotch against me. I move my tongue further down your stomach to your belly button, tracing slow lazy circles. A little further down, I kiss your love as your press yourself to my lips as my senses fill with your hot bouquet. I slowly sit up as I place my fingers into the waistband of the soaking lace and slowly peel them down your legs... first one then the other. Tossing the panties aside, I kiss your painted toes, and then run my tongue along them, taking each into my mouth and gently sucking. I run my fingernails along the arch of your foot as you try and pull away from my tickling. I kiss the top of your foot and make my way to your ankle, gently kissing and nibbling. I slowly make my way back up your leg, stopping to run my tongue behind your left knee as I run the fingernails of my other hand along the underside of your right thigh.

"Would you please fucking hurry up? I am so ready to explode here," you pant.

With that I complete my journey, running my tongue between your drenched lips, stopping at the apex, as my fingers sink deliciously into you. You again grab my head, slamming yourself against my tongue, mouth, and fingers... crying out as your orgasm floods every cell of your body. You arch your back, wrapping your legs harder around me as you ride the waves of pleasure coursing through your veins.

Shakily you slowly release your grip on me and then snuggle up against me. Your breathing is almost back to normal. I hold you and slowly run my fingers through your hair as you lay your head on my chest. Your warm naked body against me feels so very nice.

"Where's those apples?" you ask. "That made me a little hungry."

You grab an apple slice and slide it through the caramel dip before placing it in your mouth. I hear the crunch of the apple at same time seeing a smile stretch across your face.

"These are so good. The caramel is wonderful too. You should try some. Maybe I should try some on you?"

You slide another slice through the dip and then let some drip on my nipple as you then place the apple in my mouth. The flavor of the apple crunching in my mouth and the feeling of your tongue on my caramel covered nipple gets an immediate reaction in my southern regions. You suck and gently bite me as your hand slides into my boxers, coaxing me to exquisite hardness. You slide my boxers off and straddle me, lowering yourself onto me. You move your hips back and forth as you rake your nails across my chest. You move your hips back and forth and then in small circles. You lean down kissing me, driving your tongue into my mouth as your breasts and nipples sway against my chest.

After a few minutes of this, I move out from under you, turning you around and placing your head on a pillow. I move behind you, using my knees to spread your legs a little farther. I grab your bottom with both hands as your reach under placing me at the right spot as I then push forward and slide into you. Rhythmically you push back against me as my hand finds your hair, pulling you to me. We continue this motion as your body grips and pulls at my soul. All I hear from you are moans as you have your face buried into the pillow and your hands are frantically gripping the blanket on the floor. Releasing your hair, I firmly grip your hips as you push harder against me, your gift to me, ripping through my body at lightning speed. It's all I can do to keep my balance as you continue pushing back against me as I flood you with the very essence of my being. You finally quit moving per my request as my shaking legs can no longer hold me up and I collapse on top of you.

"Ready to move to the bed Sweetie?" you ask waking me up from my little post sex cat nap. "Did you have a good time? You have a pretty happy look on your face."

"Yes Baby. I'm very good. The bed sounds wonderful. Help me up. I think my legs are still shaking."

We slowly walk to the bedroom, leaving the mess in the living room for tomorrow...

# Chapter Thirteen

"Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life."

~Jean Paul Richter

* * *

Kathy:

Subject: Friday

Well, here it is Friday morning. Sorry about yesterday, i was running almost all day, then scott came home and surprised me by taking me out to dinner. He had had a bad day and needed to talk. We didnt get home til about 9 or so, and then by the time i got kids ready for bed, i needed to perform wifely duties. I was able to get on for about 3 or 4 minutes, but with him beside me, was afraid to try and im you.

Hope your evening went well ~ missed you.

Love you,

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

Subject: Saturday night...it's ok...please read

Kathy,

I'm not going to try and make any assumptions of what is going on. I hope everything is ok with you and your family.

I don't know what you need from me. If you need me here, then you know i will be here for you. If you need to move on and concentrate on your family... i will bow out gracefully...you know that.

I'm not sure how to handle the silence. Not sure if it is your choice or some other situation that i'm not aware of...either way, i'll respect it until i hear from you.

I hope you guys have a great vacation.

I'm here whenever you need to talk.

love you,

Mike

Kathy:

Mike,

I'm sorry that I was unable to talk today. I have been busy getting things ready to go in the morning. We went and had supper with Joe and Doris, and then on to see fireworks, and just got home and the kids to bed. Its 11:45pm, and yes, I am becoming a pumpkin.

I'm sorry that you are feeling neglected, and that you feel like I am ignoring you. It is not intentional. But, reality is that we are both married and need to make the best of things. Maybe I am feeling like we need to slow down a bit, and you helped me realize that yesterday.

I wont deny that you have made me feel really special and appreciated, and hoped I made you feel that way as well. We cannot be any more than we are at the moment, and I hope you know that as well as I do.

I will be here for you as well. And yes, I do and always will love you.

Kathy

Mike:

thanks for getting back to me...I'm happy I understand.

Yes we are both married, and have our family lives to deal with. I know having you there makes life a bit easier.

As far as feeling neglected...i guess that is true...but it was the "cold turkey" of it that I was having such trouble with.

I know that we can't be any more than we are at the moment. I feel like my talking of coming up a day early and having a carpet picnic may have made you feel like i was pushing to escalate things. I was not. We have talked about how nice it would be to have a drink or dinner. being seen would not be good, so i suggested eating in. I can control myself...not that you are not desirable, but because I do not want that on my resume at this time. I truely believe you could control yourself too. I would so love to talk to you in person, uninterupted.

I hope you guys have a wonderful trip. I will not text or IM unless I hear from you. I will send an email from time to time....

Yes....you have made me feel very special.... like I haven't felt in years. You will always be a part of me and i will always love you...but you already know that.

good night my love,

I love you

Mike

Kathy:

I just read your email, and it is now 9am. I have not had a shower or finished packing yet, so I guess I need to get a "move on". I am happy you understand. I didnt mean to go "cold turkey", it just kinda worked out that way. Scott was home all day, as were the kids. We actually got to start having some Kathy time and some family time, and I guess I didnt want to end it.

I will try and text some during the week, just dont know how much or when that will be.

I love you,

Kathy

Mike:

I'm glad scott has been spending more time with you. I know that has to make you feel better. Is he going for the week with you? Where did you decide to go?

Love you more..

Mike

Kathy:

Yes, he is going with us this week. We'll be headed to Mom's here in a bit and be there til tuesday morning. then we are headed to the coast until friday. probably stop and spend friday night with mom again, and then home on saturday. And, yes, I am so glad he is going with us......

love you dearly,

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

Subject: Sunday night

Subject: sunday night

hi Baby,

Hope you are having a great start to your vacation. Hope you had lots of hotdogs or BBQ today and lots of fireworks tonight.

Work was ok today...I actually left early. Had a nice quiet day here at the house. M&M left yesterday to go to her moms. They were going to have a BBQ and fireworks today. The dawg and I held the fort down. I threw the cat outside.

Kind of sat around today and watched a few movies. Have you ever seen "Fireproof"?

I did get Day 15, 16, and 17 done. I guess I'm through now. Just let me know when you are ready, and I will send them.

It's about 9:30, so i guess i will go take my bath and head on to bed.

Have a great visit with your mom.

Good night.

Sweet dreams

I love you

Mike

Kathy:

yes things are good here. got to moms bout 5, ate supper and then scott left to go spend the nite in ashland, as he has an early mtg tomorrow.. we r gonna go ride the riverboat tomorrow with mom and danny.. kids should have a good time. sorry u had to spend the holiday alone, but hopefully u got a nap.

love you too sweetie

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

Subject: friday night

hi Kathy,

I guess you guys are back at your mom's by now. hope you had fun in spite of the weather.

May you guys have a safe trip home tomorrow.

night babe,

mike

Kathy:

well we had a pretty good week.....back at moms now. got quite a bit of rain, but had fun nonetheless. ate lunch with my sister today then got to moms bout 4. kids did pretty good. place wasnt bad either. bout to head to bed....

am glad u had a good week.......

miss you too,

Kathy

* * *

Summer proved to be very trying. We had become so accustom to being able to talk just about whenever we wanted. But with the kids home, volleyball practice, swim camp, Girl Scouts, and trying to keep up with the house, things were getting to be quite hectic. Combine all of this with the fact that Kathy was still having trouble sleeping, and you have a perfect recipe for tattered nerves. She found it harder and harder to juggle everything, and with me in the mix, sometimes it was too much. My life was about the same, so when it got difficult for her to text, IM, or email as much as we had been, I took it kind of personally. My insecurities I suppose. I couldn't help it though. She was my world. I just wanted to be with her, talk with her, touch her, look at her... you name it. As long as it had to do with her... I wanted to do it. It had been over 3 months now, but my feelings for her had still not waned in the least bit. She, on the other hand because of her circumstances, could not afford my constant attention. Plus it seems she had turned the corner on our relationship, meaning, she knew that I loved her more than anything and she also knew that I was just a call, text, IM, or email away. She was content with this at the moment, and it was driving me crazy.

Kathy wanted to plan some type of family trip for the summer. Scott was always at work, the kids were in one kind of camp or another, and she wanted to try and do something as a family. So Scott finally agreed to take a few days off after the Fourth of July, and she started planning a trip... first to her mom's and then to the coast. Of course all of the planning and logistics fell on her shoulders, adding more stress on her life. She wanted it to be fun, but not too expensive, and she knew it would be up to her alone to make it happen.

With her being so busy, and me not getting enough attention, things got a bit terse. We had originally agreed on "no eggshells", so I laid it all out there, and we finally we able to spend a little time chatting and getting everything ironed out. She was able to get me to understand the changing situation in her home, and I was able to explain to her where I was coming from. It was one of the things I just loved about us. No matter what, we usually were able to calmly talk things out. Not something I got much of at home where we didn't fight... we just didn't talk. Things were usually the opposite for her and Scott.

We talked a bit Sunday morning before they left on their trip. I knew it was going to be a big adjustment for me since they would be gone for a week. Although she would have her phone with her, and I would be "in her pocket", I knew she would not have any alone time to talk. We shared a few emails the first couple of days since Scott was in Ashland for a meeting. Then on Tuesday morning she really surprised me with a little IM session. She had just finished her shower and had a few minutes as grandma entertained the kids. This really boosted my spirits and gave me confidence that I could actually make it through the week!

Every morning I would wish her a "good morning" with an email letting her know I was thinking of her. In the evenings before retiring to bed, I would send her an email letting her know how my day went and what all I did. I wrote them like I was talking to her, as I did when I was flying out to Vegas, which was comforting to me. I would sign them "good night", "sweet dreams", and "I love you", or something to that effect.

When they finally got back to her mom's on Saturday, she IMd me and we got to chat for a couple minutes. Again it was a huge boost to my spirits, and she let me know how much she enjoyed hearing from me every day. She said it would have been impossible for us to IM and she was so thankful that I understood, which helped her to be able to relax and enjoy the time she was spending with Scott and the kids. I told her it was good practice for me since I too would be taking a couple family trips in the coming weeks.

My partner and I were planning a trip to Kathy's area to do some work with one of our clients. We were supposed to be there early in the morning, so we talked about going up the night before. This gave me a small opportunity to possibly see Kathy. We talked about having dinner or at least a drink. She said she felt confident that she could slip away for a couple hours or so. The issue now became what if someone she knew saw her? Things happen, and it was not too far out of the realm of possibility that we could run into someone she knew if we went to a restaurant or a bar in the area. I would have my own room since there was talk of Kelly's wife traveling with us, so I suggested that we have a "carpet picnic" and could eat in and not worry about being seen. It seemed logical to me, and she agreed at first, but as time went on, she started to feel weird about it. There is such a stigma about being alone with someone in a hotel room. Everyone always assumes the worst. We decided to put it on the back burner for now, and deal with it as the time grew closer. As it turned out, that was a good decision...

# Hawaii...Day 13

I'm slowly coming to life. I feel your warmth as you lay besides me. I snuggle closer as you let out a little sigh that lets me know you are very contented. I slowly raise my head to see the clock. It is 9:30, and we have a 2:00 flight to Honolulu. We still have plenty of time to relax and take it easy this morning. I lay there and stroke your hair and you give me your sleepy little smile. I give you a soft kiss, and whisper in your ear how wonderful my night was. We lay in each other's arms a few more minutes... neither of us wanting to remove ourselves form this wonderful place.

"My boobs are still sticky from the ice cream my Dear."

"Mine too, but I bet yours taste better." With that I lean over and run my tongue over your chocolaty sticky nipple, savoring the sweetness that is still present. "Yep... Just as I thought. Delicious!"

"Mmmm. That does feel nice," you confess. You pull my head to you, kissing me on my forehead as you hold me tight to your breasts. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"I love you more Baby."

"I'm not sure if that is possible my Love. By the way... Good morning Michael."

"Good morning to you too Kathy."

"As much as I would like to continue this, I really have to pee, and we also have a big mess in the living room we need to clean up."

"Yes Dear... You are right. If memory serves me correctly, the living room was looking pretty ugly when we went to bed."

You head to the bathroom to get ready, and I head to the kitchen to get whatever food was left over from last night and to survey the damage in the living room floor. I gather up a few strawberries, grapes, and some melon. I make a plate, tip-toe through the mess, and I return to the bedroom with breakfast for us to share while we are getting ready.

The place clean and ready for checkout, we get our stuff packed and loaded into the car. With Mikey on the dash leading the way, we leisurely drive to the airport, taking in all of the sights along the way. We get there and have our routine down, as this is our third island. We get checked in, and before you know it, we are jetting over to the island of Oahu, and the city of Honolulu.

The flight is very short, and by 3 o'clock we are on our way to Waikiki. We take the Nimitz Hwy instead of the freeway on our way to the hotel. This road takes us by the coast and the cruise ship pier, and then toward downtown. The road changes to Ala Moana Blvd and we take in all of the local sights, and as we cross the bridge at the Ala wai canal, you look over your right shoulder to see the scene from the opening of Gilligan's Island. We continue on and enter the Waikiki area. We take a right on Kalakaua Ave which takes us along the Waikiki Beach area and all of the hotels you have seen on TV for years. We are staying at the Waikiki Sunset, which is on the far end of Waikiki. What it lacks in convenience, it makes up in comfort. It has parking and the rooms are condos. We get checked in and find our room which has a great view of Diamond Head in one direction and the ocean on the other. Looking out and seeing all of the tall buildings, it's such a stark contrast to the other islands and cities we have been staying in.

We unpack our bags and dress for shopping and dinner. We catch the elevator to the lobby and then are out on the street to explore the shopping, food, and the famous Waikiki Beach. We make a right on Kalakaua Avenue and walk all of the way down to Lewers Street, turning left, then making another left on Kalia Road. We walk through the alley adjacent to the Sheraton Waikiki before finally emerging on Waikiki Beach.

We take a few pictures on the beach and check out all of the people, then comment how nice it has been to have experienced the solitude of the other islands. We walk through the gardens between the hotels and are then back on the sidewalk of Kalakaua Ave. The hustle and bustle of a large metropolitan city is quite evident here, with tall buildings, traffic, and lots of people. Although not as comfortable as some of the other places we have visited, it has an excitement all its own. Along this avenue is such a mixture of different cultures and different shopping experiences. High end restaurants and shops like Christian Dior and Louis Vuitton, to shaved ice stands and numerous ABC Stores. We decide to hit the world famous International Market. In this area are hundreds of stores and kiosks with jewelry, shirts, caps, leis, dresses, trinkets, and just about anything else you can think of. Another interesting thing about the International Market, is that bartering is expected. Almost like a big garage sale. If you don't like the price, offer them something less. This proves to be big fun as you find lots of different things to buy for your mom, Jessica, and Tommie. Although it is almost all outside, it is shaded, and a cool breeze makes shopping very comfortable.

We spend a leisurely couple of hours browsing through the shops. You look awesome in your sundress and bling-bling flip flops. Your shoulders have that Hawaiian glow to them, and I take every opportunity to kiss them and caress them. You always stand close or at least lean into me throughout the day to keep the fires burning. You hold my hand as we walk through the shops and along the street.

With hunger pains finally winning the battle, I take the bags of stuff we've purchased and run them back to our room, while you continue to look around. After I return, we make our way to Dukes Canoe Club, a great local restaurant, right on the beach. It's a nice casual place with great food and live Hawaiian music. We are seated by the waiter, and we start with a nice glass of blush wine...something cool and soothing after our long day. You order a steak, rare, and I decide on the catch of the day. We sit and talk, while enjoying the music and order more wine, since the first glass didn't last long. After a long day and couple glasses of wine, we are both feeling quite mellow. Our food arrives and it is cooked to perfection. We both take turns feeding each other our dinner, making the case that each of ours is better. We order yet another glass of wine...probably should have just ordered the bottle....and then order Hula Pie for dessert. Even though we were both stuffed, we can't resist Hula pie. It arrives at the table, and the piece looks even bigger than last time. I take the fork and feed the first bite to you. Since I am trying to feed you a huge bite, I get some on your chin and cheek because you are making me laugh. You wipe your chin, but I kiss away the hula pie on your cheek. I take the second bite, a little one of course, and I don't get any on me, much to your dismay. You pick up the other fork and decide you should help me eat the remainder of the pie. We have fun feeding each other, getting most of it where it is supposed to go. The parts that miss their mark are lovingly kissed or licked away. It sounds a bit crazy, but it is all done in good taste...no pun intended... and we even notice envious eyes watching us.

We finally finish the pie, and pay our check. We exit through the bar area which is right on Waikiki Beach. The walking is tough in the soft sand so we take off our shoes and walk toward the surf. We have timed it just right, as the sun is just about to set. We find us a little spot to sit down and hold each other as we watch the ending to another beautiful day in paradise. We sit on the sand and talk about this wonderful trip which we have been so lucky to experience. We discuss things we want to accomplish in life and especially talk about when we will be able to return. We finally take a look around, and see that the sky is quite dark now, but the lights from the high rises and hotels create a beautiful ambiance. I get up and walk to the bar to get us a couple more glasses of wine. I return, and we sit and slowly enjoy the wine and the view of the brightly lit dinner cruise ships off in the distance. The warmth of your body against me feels so nice, as we sit and babble about nothing. With our glasses empty, I place them on a table and we both walk hand in hand out into the surf, heading down the beach in the direction of our hotel. The air is warm, and the water is cool, and we are lost in each other's company. We stop every so often to hug and kiss in the cool surf. The sound of the waves and the sight of the tiki torches on the beach is what most people think of when dreaming of a romantic night in Waikiki. We continue until we are across from our hotel. We cross the street and walk up the block and are back in our condo in a few minutes. We get into the shower to wash off the sand and salt, while continuing to hug and kiss under the watchful eye of Mikey, perched on the counter. Finally finished, you get out, and dry off, then put on your new silky short robe. The tropical print of greens, blacks, and blues, go strikingly well with your hair and eyes. I slip on my boxers, and we go out on the balcony and look over the city. I hold you from behind, and we stand in the cool breeze not saying a word, just enjoying the moment. With a contagious yawn, you remind me of the pumpkin hour, and we retreat to the bedroom. You slide out of your robe, and slide your naked body between the cool sheets, with me right behind you. I snuggle close behind, relishing the feel of your body against mine. I place my arm over you and place my hand on your breast as always. You give another yawn and comment how nice it feels.

"Mmmm. This feels nice. Do we really ever have to go home?"

"Enjoying the trip Sweetie? What has been your favorite so far?"

"The whole thing has just been incredible," you say between yawns. "Just the simple fact of having time to ourselves has been so very nice. As far as the places we have seen, I really loved..."

With that you drift into dreamland mid-sentence. I lay there with you in my arms, smelling your skin, hearing you breathe, and feeling your heartbeat...and slowly fall into a wonderful peaceful sleep.

# Chapter Fourteen

"Don't it make life just a little more special,

Knowing you got someone who cares.

You won't ever have to be lonely.

Always have somebody there.

Don't it make everything a little bit easier,

Knowing you have someone like me.

A hand to take you to the light

When it gets a little bit too dark to see.

That's when I like to stop and remind you... that,

You've got me... to hold on to."

_You've Got Me to Hold on To ~_ _Tanya Tucker_ 12

Mike:

**Subject:** Funny how things change

I'm sitting here at Chick fil a and had to chuckle to myself. Used to, Chickfila reminded me of Seattle...because Kelly and I were here when we got the call inviting us up there. Now...Chickfila reminds me of. You....as does lunchables Mich Ultra, country music, and a million other things. Songs with lots of saxaphone. I never noticed Honda minivans before...but I do now.

Just struck me as funny and made me chuckle. If the phrase "my world revolves around you" makes you uncomfortable...then I guess I could say that just about everything in my world reminds me of you...

I love you

Mike

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Kathy:

Honey....you do scare me sometimes......

as i sit and smile....

love you,

kath

Mike:

sorry...didn't mean to...

Kathy:

its okay my dear....

im just sayin....

Mike:

Well don't you see things that remind you of me? No different. I just wrote them down....that's makes them scary?

A couple more stops and I'll be home! Yay!

Kathy:

Yes honey....i see those things all the time now.....a diet dp, songs to countless to mention, my rubber ducky, my beautiful crosses, not to mention any ihops, pancakes, syrup, to name a few......

:)

Mike:

NOW THAT'S SCARY!!!

Can you talk in a little bit?

Kathy:

i can for a lil while....have to get ready for jessica's vb game in a bit

we have to be there at 5:30.

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Saturday morning

Good morning beautiful! Are we looking luscious this morning? Got a little bed head going on there? I love you. Hope you got a good nights sleep. Here's wishing your day isn't too hectic.

You are always in my thoughts...

Love you

Michael

Kathy:

Good Morning baby....yes, looking a bit bad today. Bout to head out to take tommie to his hair appt then need to stop by the grocery store again. Am hoping I can persuade scott to hang my shelves and see about the utility light today...will let you know if it works or not.

Hope you slept well my darling. dont work too hard and please be careful driving this afternoon. hope you have a wonderful visit with your mom.

Love you,

Kathy

Mike:

Wow...she called me "baby"... Brings a smile to my face from deep, deep inside....sigh......

Good luck with your shelves. What's wrong with your utility light?

Love you more...

Mike

Kathy:

Hey sweetie....how's work?

Got home from our haircut a bit ago...just sitting here chilling out. The utility light needs to be changed, and im kinda scared to get up on a big ladder to do it. we have really high ceilings....

anyway, we will see if i get help or not. im voting not... big surprise, i know.

Hope your day is going good...thinking of you!

love you,

kath

Mike:

My day is good....almost over.

I'm working on your tripping breaker problem....hopefully I can get you an email with some info before I leave today.

Love you and always thinking of you.

Mike

Kathy:

you are just too good for me....

I love you!!!

Mike:

**Subject:** Need to vent

Hi Baby,

sometimes I get so frustrated and it kind of helps to talk about it or write it down...not that it's gonna fix it or anything...but it does help a little.

Went downstairs earlier to do the steaks, and she was sitting on her butt watching TV. I know it's her weekend, and she works hard all week...but so do I. All of the dishes that have been used since I did them a few days ago, are still there. Crap all over the coffee table, crap all over the dining room table, basically crap everywhere. The bag of chips she was grazing on, was still on the counter. the crap she brought in from the car yesterday...still on the table.

So I go out and start the fire on the grill and look around at all of the crap in the yard. Then i decide that maybe I'll just have a beer, so i go out into the garage to get a beer out of the fridge out there, and see all of that crap in the garage. Frustrating. I was talking to you earlier about wanting to get things paid off, and when i look at all of the crap in the garage, I can put a dollar sign on everything...

So I wash the potatoes, get them in the microwave, and then put the steaks on the grill. With the steaks finished, i bring them in, and let them know eveything is ready. I fix my plate and they are still sitting there. I go upstairs and eat and watch some of the game. When i come down, Amy has eaten hers and says it was good, but her's is still sitting on the counter getting cold.

Frustrated, i decide to go for a littel drive to maybe chill out. I get back, and it's still sitting on the counter. I think she has now finally decided to eat it.

What i was talking about earlier, was getting things paid for and stuff set up to make some kind of decision, or to a least rock the boat. It sends cold chills down my back to think I might wake up in another 20 years to the same mess. She isn't gonna change, and I'm not going to either. I've never actually cheated, i don't steal, i don't hit, i don't cuss or yell at her. I work hard and do the best I can. Would leaving a 26 year marriage because of living conditions be enough for people to understand? What would be worse...I'm leaving you because i found someone else or i have cheated...or because i would rather live alone by myself instead of with you? Which is worse?

ok.. i'm through fussing... thanks for listening...

Love you

mike

Kathy:

Hi sweetie...

sorry you are having a bad evening.....been chatting with scott some tonight....been raining big time up here and the dish is out. keep thinking the lights are gonna go soon

i do love you,

Kathy

* * *

Kathy:

Good Morning Honey...

Hope you slept well and had some pleasant dreams. About to take Jessica to her camp, then back home to do some housework. Doesnt that sound like fun? haha

Hope you have a nice day ~~

Love you my darling,

Kath

* * *

Kathy:

Subject: Friday

I kinda had a rough nite last night as well.....couldnt tell you the last time i was able to sleep all night long....which is probably part of my problem. tommie woke up about 1130 fussing....scott started hollering at me to get up and take care of him. i so hate being woken up that way.....anyway, laid down with him for a bit, ended up falling asleep on his twin bed; then got up, turned the tv off in the playroom, where jessica and her friend were asleep on the sofa. so, i went and slept in jessica's room. got up about 6 to go to bed....and got up at 7, when the alarm went off and woke tommie up.

I guess ive just been really tired and my patience has been so short. am hoping i can get scott to take jessica's friend home, as i dont see me getting out tonight with tommie......

sorry....needed to vent a bit,

kath

Mike:

Baby... i'm so sorry things are not going well. i had no idea....and here i thought you were having a great day with getting your hair done and all.

I can't believe he would yell at you to take care of Tommie...He's his son too. Oh well..

It scares me to think of you getting a job on top of all of this. you know you will still try and do it all at home too...and you just can't. Take it from me... i know.

I wish there was something I could do to help. you know you can do all of the fussin' to me you want. I know it helps to get it off of your chest. It's not much, but i can do that. Fuss away!!

I know it's tough when a person is sleepy. My fuse gets a little short too. It's no fun. Wish I could give you a nice glass of wine, a nice hot bubble bath, and good message, and then pour you into the bed and let you sleep until you woke up naturally...

I love you...

Mike

Kathy:

i know...things are just getting to me......and he hasnt even noticed i got a haircut.....

all he wanted to do know was whats for supper......

and i have an "eeyore" voice.....never happy you know...

* * *

Kathy:

Subject: Can you talk for a sec?

....scott is driving me nuts....

Mike:

What is Scott driving you nuts about?

Kathy:

guess he keeps wanting me to decide what i want to do for supper....was gonna cook, but he said if i didnt feel like cooking to not....so i opted not to. now i have to figure out what we are going to do....if i want him to go get something or if we are going to just snack...

cant he just for once take care of supper....why do i have to do everything....

Mike:

that sounds like my last night babe. doesn't it suck? Can't theymake a decicion once in a while and just do it?

know that i love you honey and you are at the forefront of my mind always... I hope you can feel my love and strength that i'm sending to you.

I wish i could do more...

I love and cherish you

Mike

Kathy:

i guess im just fussing....he just makes me so tense inside....like i want to just tense up my insides like you cant believe......

looks like im about to be a short order cook again...

thanks for listening to me rant

Mike:

anytime Baby!!. while you are at it.. i'd like a cheese burger and fries..with a side of lucious shoulders and delicious toes....

A little neck for dessert would be good too!!

Kathy:

well finally got thru with my short order cook status....scrambled eggs/toast/bacon for tommie and scott; jessica wanted chicken nuggets/shells & cheese; i made me my usual "rice/beans"......got the kitchen cleaned, tommie bathed, he is now watching a movie...and of course scott has been on his ass most of the evening...

but then, he does work for a living....

could u imagine just sitting on the couch and "waiting" for you to be served supper????? sometimes i wish i were a man...

Mike:

Maybe you can chill for a bit now. where's my toes and shoulders?

Kathy:

feet propped up for just a bit...for some reason my ankle is killing me tonight.....

and as far as the shoulders, well...they are there i spose.... lol

hope you are having a better nite than i am

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** TOY

Hi Baby....just thinking of you. Haven't heard from you today, so I hope that means you are doing something fun or that Scott is helping you with your shelves or the light.

My Mom came up and brought my last picture she framed. We are going to go to the office and they are going to help arrange them on the walls.

Hope you are having a nice day.

I love you.

Mike

Kathy:

Hey sweetie.....

Yes, been running around with the family a little bit. scott and i just went and looked at swingsets for the backyard. its so funny to me, how i can be talking and the next thing i know he is listening to the radio and tuning me out. dont know why that still surprises me.....he did actually sit beside me while we were eating lunch today, although he read the paper the entire time.....

Hope you are having a good day sweetie....

love you,

Kath

Mike:

We are back home now. They are sposed to get their nails done later. We might could talk then...if you can. Maybe 7Ish.

Sorry I couldn't talk earlier. I so wanted too...

LYMY..

Mike

Kathy:

Honey....trust me, i so understand.....

Bout to grill out burgers for the neighbor boys and their mom....jessica is at a sleepover. Probably wont be able to talk til later....

Glad you are having a good afternoon with your mom.....i love you babe!

kath

Mike:

Ok sweetheart. Ill look for you later babe. Grilling burgers with friends soiunds fun.

Remind me to tell you what M said...

I so love you too Sugar.

Mike

Kathy:

bout to get tommie in the bathtub....be here soon...what did M say??? you have my curiousity peaked...

love you,

kath

Mike:

They are kind of freaking out over the fact that.I lost around 25lb. She said Amy said maybe it was a midlife crisis. She then said maybe a younger wife was next.

There has been a few other things. It cracks me out....

Love you

Mike

Kathy:

OMG.....ur kidding....a younger wife?

iasl....

kat

* * *

Geez... how hard is it to throw something in the trash? How about taking the trash out? Making dinner? Cleaning the toilets?

How about inviting friends over? Are you kidding me? I cringe at the thought. I work two jobs, I cook, clean, keep the yard cut and trimmed, pay the bills, keep the cars running, plan the trips, and on and on. To say I get frustrated from time to time would be an understatement. It's the same for Kathy in her household, although she doesn't have the two jobs, she has the two kids. It's just so hard to try and do it all when you do not seem to get any help.

We would wonder out loud every now and then at what it would be like if we lived under the same roof. She would joke that it would be a huge turn on to see me in the kitchen cooking dinner, serving her, and then cleaning up. I told her I wouldn't know how to act if I had someone that could get things fixed on their own, and then just tell me about it later. I am always told by M that I don't ever like doing anything for her. That is not very accurate. The issue is that I don't have time to do the basic things around the house, and when she wants something, it's usually something else added to my list.

Kathy and I so value the fact that we could vent to each other about all of the frustrations in our lives. Having a loving "outlet" to talk to or bounce things off of was invaluable. We were always there for each other lending a sympathetic ear because we so understood what the other was going through.

As hard as it was sometimes, we never "bad mouthed" each other's spouse. There were many times that I would have liked to grab Scott by the collars and shake him real hard, so maybe he would realize everything Kathy did around the house and for him. There were also times that I took his side on some issues. This wasn't always very popular, but I had great fun with it.

It's so easy in life to take what another does for granted. We get locked into the normal routine of how things run, and we forget to stop and appreciate what others do. Please realize that I know I am guilty of it too. But I also know that I do more than my fair share and sometimes it causes me to reach my boiling point. I generally hate confrontation, and will do just about whatever it takes to avoid it. This is mainly because sometimes things get said in the heat of battle, and you can't take them back. The words are already "out there" and the other person can't "un-hear" them. I liken it to being on a jury and the judge says to disregard the last statement and stricken it from the record. Well it's too late. You have already heard it, and try as you might, it will always be in the back of your mind. Having an argument with M is very tough because she never forgets anything and usually seems to take things the wrong way. As hard as you may try, you can't ever seem to get her to take it the way you actually meant it. She brings up stuff that happened 30 years ago and it still has an effect on our relationship. A great example is that that I took another girl to a Rod Stewart concert back in 1982. To this day, if Rod Stewart comes on the radio, she will change the station. Nothing like holding a grudge I guess....

With Kathy and I having that safe place to retreat to, it made life tolerable. That sounds terrible, but having someone to talk to freely, without repercussions, was so important to me. We didn't just gripe, we also talked about our inner most thoughts, feelings, and dreams, which made for an intimacy that I had never known in my life.

# Hawaii... Day 14

I'm jostled awake as you crawl over me getting out of the bed. The sight of your naked body passing over me is a nice way for my eyes to start their day. You find your robe, and put it on, loosely tying it. You make your way to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to get something to drink. The wine from last night has left us a little parched this morning. I groggily find my boxers and make my way to the bathroom and then meet you in the kitchen where you are sitting on the bar stool looking at some of the brochures we picked up. I get my glass of water and am standing across the bar from you. From this vantage point, I have a wonderful view down the front of your partially open robe.

"Good morning Babe. Did you sleep well?" I inquire.

"I did Sweetie. Did you?"

"Absolutely. I don't think I woke up until I saw your nakedness crawling over me this morning."

"Uh-huh. I guess I am to assume you were playing like you were asleep so you could scam on my nakedness as I got out of bed?"

"Damn straight! Whatever works!"

"I like it when you look at me... kind of like the way you are looking at me now. Come over here."

I make my way around to your side of the bar, and turn your chair toward me. You respond by sliding your legs around me. I run my fingers through your hair and slowly kiss you. You pull me closer, and I can feel your hot skin against mine. I kiss your neck and move your robe to the side to expose your luscious shoulders. I kiss and gently bite your shoulders and move your robe a little farther by nudging it with my nose. Your robe falls down your arms and into the chair behind you, as I run my hands up and down your back. You hug me tight and whisper "I love you" in my ear. I stand you up and take you by the hand and lead you to the bedroom. I lay you on the bed, remove my boxers, and lay between your legs. You pull your knees up as I run my fingers up the back of your thighs. I kiss you and our tongues lightly flick each other and tickle our lips. You suck my lips, tongue, and then my neck, sending incredible sensations through my body. I respond by kissing your neck and slowly sliding to your chest and flick my tongue across your nipple. You let out a sigh, and I hungrily suck your nipple as I message your other breast with my hand. I slide up on my knees and place myself against you. I rise up, and now have both of your breasts in my hands. I lean forward again talking in each nipple in turn and sucking gently. You reach between us and place me at the perfect spot. With a slight movement of your hips, I slowly slide into you, causing us both to gasp with pleasure. We slowly move together enjoying the sensations of each other's bodies. I kiss you again and gently tug on your earlobes with my teeth and lips. We continue to move together, as I am just slightly inside, but causing wonderful reactions to your body. We keep this up for a few minutes until I can't take it any longer, and completely engulf myself in you. You hold me tight as you move your hips rhythmically against me and start to shudder. The feeling of you and the sound of your moans sends me over the edge as wave after wave flows through my body.

We lay in each other's arms as we slowly catch our breath. You cuddle close as we finally get our composure back. Reluctantly, you get up and head for the bathroom to get ready for our day. I am left to get a quick afterglow cat nap, which is one of your wonderfully simple gifts to me.

"Get up Sleepy-Head. It's your turn in the bathroom. I can't believe you went back to sleep so quickly. You act like you just had sex or something," you tease with a smile.

I struggle to the bathroom as you finish your makeup in the mirror above the dresser. I take a quick shower and put on my shorts and Hawaiian shirt. Finally ready, we make it downstairs and to the car. With growling stomachs, we need to search out some fast food this morning before going to Pearl Harbor and then hitting a few other sights here in the city. Exiting the garage, we make a couple turns and finally are on H1 heading west toward Pearl City. Seeing a sign for a McDonalds, we exit and swing through the drive thru. Within a couple minutes, we have our breakfast and are back on the road to Pearl Harbor. You seem to have this amazed smile on your face this morning as you take in all of the sights along our journey. You head is on a swivel as we pass so many things you have seen in books, magazines, and TV over the years. You are quietly processing the fact that you are now seeing them in person.

We arrive at Pearl Harbor and I get in line to get our free tickets for the tour. We have to wait about an hour for the start of the tour, so we spend the time looking through the exhibits of the small museum and gift shop. We make our way outside and take a few pictures of the harbor and surrounding area.

Our time finally arrives, and we go into the auditorium to see a 20 minute movie, before boarding a harbor ferry, which takes us to the Arizona Memorial itself. We board the ferry and are taken across the harbor between the large naval ships, before docking at the memorial.

After arriving at the memorial, we walk in and are able to look out and see the remains of the USS Arizona.

The design of the memorial is very open in the middle, where you can look out and see the ship below you. On one end, is a hall where the names of those lost are engraved.

After our tour of the memorial, we board the ferry, and head back to the visitor's center. We make a few purchases in the gift shop before walking to the parking lot.

Next we drive to the National Cemetery of the Pacific, or more affectionately known as Punchbowl. This cemetery and memorial is actually built in the crater of a volcano. There are numerous buildings and monuments here, and many of them you have seen in television shows over the years.

Before leaving Punchbowl, we stop at the scenic overlook, and take a picture of the beautiful Honolulu skyline.

We drive downtown to see the famous statue of King Kamehameha and the Iolani Palace...the only royal palace in the United States.

It's been a long day, so we are ready for a nice comfortable evening at "home". We stop and get take-out pizza, and some beer, and head back to the condo. We sit on the balcony in the cool evening breezes and listen to the sounds of the city. We feast on pizza and beer, and talk about all of the sights we experienced today.

"I can't believe we got to see all of that today. It's so amazing to think about the historical significance of all of it. Its stuff we have heard about all of our lives, and to finally see it in person was incredibly moving," you share with me.

"Yes Honey. I know how you feel. When you combine the natural wonder and beauty of this place with its unbelievable historical significance, it makes it a pretty awesome."

"I need to call Jessica and Tommie and tell them about it. Where's my phone?"

"It's on the counter Babe. While you call them, I'm gonna soak in the tub."

I fill the tub with water and lots of bubble bath. I toss Mikey in before settling down in the warm soothing suds. I fold up a wash cloth and put it behind my head for a pillow as I lean back and relax with my cold beer.

In my boxers, I come out of the bathroom to find you still on the phone.

"Hence the nickname Babbles."

"Oh hush. I'm talking to my mom now," you inform me with your hand over the phone.

"I saved the bubbles for you and I think Mikey is getting lonely in there."

You enter the bedroom, your hair still a little wet from your bath. You look so damn good in that little silky barely closed robe. You turn off the lamp, and stand by the bed as you drop the robe to the floor. The gentle light coming in from around the curtains, give me a soft glimpse of your incredible body. You slide into the cool sheets beside me and lay our head on my chest. We snuggle our bare bodies together and you tell me you love me. Within minutes we are both far away in dreamland.

# Chapter Fifteen

_"_ _When the rain is falling and you feel like you are a stranger._

And the time that is passing you by, is a lonely time and you want to cry.

Call on me.

When you turn around needing somebody there.

Who can give you love and show you they care.

If there is a place inside you that's empty and cold.

You may need my love... to have... to hold.

Call on me.

When the clear light of a winter's day.

Falls cold and hard and your future is grey.

You can always have the fire of love.

To keep you warm as the sun above.

Call on me...

I'll be by your side...

To keep you satisfied..."

_"Call on Me"_ _~ Bad Company_ 13

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Monday

Good Morning Darling. You have been on my mind all night. Whenever I would wake up....there you were. I know I will be thinking of you all day....wishing I could send some peace to you so you can make it through this day without going crazy.

I'm here for you and. I love you .more than you will ever know....just let me know how I can help or what you need from me....

I love you Kathy

Mike

Kathy:

Thank you sweetie. and good morning to you too my darling. i did manage to sleep a little last night....woke up several times, but did go back to sleep. and needless to say, i didnt want to get up to face the day.

I know everything will be okay, just starting to get kinda nervous about all this. scott still hasnt said anything, and im sure he has forgotten about it by now. all that seems to be on his mind is work......oh well, what are ya gonna do....

i will be thinking of you all day as well.....wish you were here to hold my hand throughout this horrible deal....but in my mind, i guess you are.

I love you Michael,

kath

Mike:

So if you really need me to hold your hand...I will. You will have to let me know within the next hour though.... it's s 3 hr drive!

Love you

Mike

Kathy:

You are so sweet.....im doing okay. Jessica's appt went well. did the usual mon morning groc shopping at walmart, had a lunchable for lunch and now im sitting here for a few minutes before i go pick up jessica's babysitting friend.

Actually talked with Scott this morning, he asked what i had going on this afternoon....when i told him i had my appt, he said oh yeah....now what are you having done?

Wishing you were here,

Kathy:

Well thanks for your kind words....I do hope I can get an answer or two. Guess all in all, Im doing okay. Keep thinking this time tomorrow, this will just be a bad memory (or so I hope).....

Will be leaving about 215 or so to pick up jessica's friend. probably get to my appt a little early. I keep trying to think of all the questions I need to ask.

I do hope your day is going okay....havent even asked you that you today (please forgive me)....

Thinking of you and dreading the next few hours,

Kath

* * *

It's Monday morning and I'm working, but wishing I was with Kathy. She is having some tests done and is very apprehensive and I wish I could be there to help her through it. She had mentioned it to Scott a couple weeks ago, but he didn't seem too interested, so she didn't bring it up again. I tried to talk to her and keep her calm throughout the morning, as her appointment was not until the middle of the afternoon. She was hanging in there and I "held her hand" through emails and IMs right up to the time she had to turn off her phone after being called from the waiting room. I was in meetings that afternoon and was on pins and needles waiting to hear the results. After about an hour, I got a text letting me know that everything was ok. I excused myself from the meeting to call her, and we talked as she drove home. She decided she would wait to see if Scott called her about it, or she would just tell him when he got home that night. He never called...

I'm cruising through Stein Mart looking for a couple shirts to buy for my upcoming trips. I pass by a shelf with lots of candles with monogram letters on them. I find one with a "K" on it and then find a large wooden "K" painted in black and white zebra stripes. I really liked it because it matched the stuff we saw when we spent the morning together a few weeks back. I took a picture of it and sent it to her asking her if she would like it. She said it was really cool, but she didn't have a place for it and was trying to avoid "clutter"... a woman after my very heart! I asked her if she had ever found the zebra print wallet with the pink "K" on the front, and she said "no". I told her there was a little store a couple doors down, and they carried that kind of stuff, so I would go look there.

I get there and start looking through the wallets and then found one with a "K". Right next to the wallets are notebooks to match, but they don't have any with a "K" on them. The lady asks if she can help, and I tell her what I am looking for. She calls their other location and tells me they have one and are holding it for me. I drive over there to pick it up, and while I am there, I find a watch in the same style as she had purchased before, and this one is in zebra print. So now she has a wallet, notebook and a new watch. All of this to go with the rest of the stuff I have for her....

As I was making the "Hawaiian Bubble Bath" CDs, I decided to send of all of the CDs that the songs came from. Just because I may not have liked some of the songs, didn't mean that she wouldn't like them. I figured I would send her all of the CDs and let her decide. We also talked about movies and TV shows a lot. We both loved a lot of the same shows like "Survivor" (which M hates and I have to record and watch it when she is not home) and "Two and a Half Men". We also liked a lot of the same movies and style of movies.

Blockbuster was closing one of their stores not too far from the house. They had their movies reduced to a hard to beat price, so I went in to see what I could find. I was able to get her 6 or so movies that I loved and she had not seen... like "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" and "The Proposal".

I now had quit a big pile of stuff that I had for her. All of the zebra print stuff, the CDs, a candle, a couple little bottles of merlot, the movies, and a couple of other things that I thought would go perfectly with the bubble bath CDs... a rubber ducky (affectionately named mikey) and a bottle of Calgon Hawaiian Ginger bubble bath.

Since it was still up in the air about whether or not I was going to come up there, or if we would be able to meet, I decided to box the stuff up and send it. I asked the lady at the post office if they could hold it at the post office and have her sign for it. I didn't want to take the chance of this big box of stuff arriving at her house and Scott seeing it. The lady said they could, so I shipped it.

I told Kathy that it should arrive in a couple days, and that she would have to pick it up at the post office. Sure enough, it arrived in a couple days... right to her doorstep with the postal carrier wanting her signature. Luckily she and the kids were the only ones home, so she was able to pass it off as an Ebay purchase. She quickly texted me letting me know that it had arrived, and then would IM after opening each thing. I had put most of it in separate bags with tissue, so she would have fun opening them. She got a big kick out of the rubber ducky and she too thought it was a perfect addition to the CDs, bubble bath, candle, and merlot. She set the bubble bath, Mikey, and candle on the side of her tub... took a picture of it, and sent it to me.

This brought big smiles to my face and warmed my heart. She couldn't quit talking about all of the things in her "care package". She loved the wallet, watch, and notebook, and couldn't wait to watch the movies.

Over the next few days I was constantly getting IMs saying "OMG... I love this song" or "this song is so beautiful". I was so happy she loved the Bubble Bath CDs since they were so near and dear to my heart. She said she was giving a friend a ride and her friend even commented about how much she loved the music. I had been listening to them for weeks at this point, and they reminded me of her every time I would hear them. They still do to this day, although we never got to listen to them together...

# Hawaii...Day 15

"Oh my God! Look how beautiful that little beach is! And look at that cute little house over there! Can you imagine having that as your backyard?" you shout over the wind and traffic noise, barely containing your excitement. "How would like to wake up to that every morning?"

"It would be pretty awesome that's for sure! Almost as awesome as waking up to you!" I counter with a smile as I squeeze your hand.

"That was kind of cheesy... but cheesy in a good way," you poke as your bright eyes shine at me. "You have a way of saying things that always make me feel special."

"I'm just tellin' it like it is. It's nice to be able to say what I really feel."

With the top of the convertible down and Mikey perched on the dash, we are making our way to the north shore this morning. With the wind blowing through your hair, we have been very fortunate this morning as we have dodged a few rain showers. The air is cool with the fresh smell of rain, and we have been rewarded with numerous rainbows on our trip to the windward side of the island. This has been a leisurely morning, having breakfast at a quaint little diner in Waikiki, before driving up to the Pali and then down the other side with the Polynesian Cultural Center as our destination. We are taking in the sights along the way, especially the beautiful beaches as the highway hugs the coast.

After passing through numerous little "communities", we finally arrive in Laie and I start looking for a little local place to get something to eat.

"Why are we stopping here?" you ask.

"Gonna get something local to eat. Aren't you starving yet?"

"Geez Honey. We just ate a couple hours ago. How can you be hungry already?"

"I'm a growing boy! I need my strength."

"I suppose... and yes... you are going to need your strength later", you say with _that_ look in your eyes.

I undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car as you seem to be fumbling through your purse looking for something. I'm at your door by the time you are ready and I take your hand as I help you out. Shutting the door, I swat you on the ass as you walk past me. You quickly spin around and face me as a sly smile breaks out across your lips. You take your hand and move your sunglasses to the top of your head as your eyes stare deeply into mine. I lean into you pressing my lips to yours as I put my hands on your hips, pulling you to me as I push you against the car, our bodies grinding into each other.

Releasing my lips, you giggle as you give me fair warning. "You best be careful whacking me on the butt. I'll have to hurt you." You turn and start to head inside.

"Promises, promises", as I swat your ass again.

The Hukilau Café is exactly what you would picture a north shore dive to be. We find ourselves a table and peruse the menu. We decide to order a couple soft drinks and split a burger and fries. Since we are in the Hukilau Café, it is only fitting that we order a Hukilau Burger.

Waiting for our food, you hold my hand across the table, gently rubbing it, your beautiful nails gently scratching exquisite sensations into my skin.

"I never tire of your touch," I confide.

"That's good to know!" you reply with a soft chuckle. "The feeling is very mutual Sweetie."

As I sit there squirming, getting more "uncomfortable" by the minute, my southern regions are "saved" by our now completed order as the waitress makes her way to our table.

"Wow... This burger looks unbelievable," I share. "If you're really not that hungry, I'm sure I could probably force myself to finish it."

"Uh-huh."

"Uh-huh what?" I ask.

"What the hell is that on the burger? Is that an egg?"

"Yes Babe... It's an egg. It's kind of local tradition... like Spam," I explain.

"Uh-huh. I have to admit though. It does smell quite yummy," you confess.

I take a knife and cut the burger in half. I place it on an extra plate along with some fries.

"You first Sweetie," you dare.

"Don't mind if I do!"

I take a big bite of the messy deliciousness. Wow! We need to find a place that makes these back in Texas. Holy cow. It is to die for. As I take my second big bite, you muster your courage to do the same. The look in your eyes and the smile on your face says it all as you experience what is the "Hukilau".

"Oh my," is all you can manage to get out of your overstuffed mouth. "I'm going to have to make one of these for Jessica and Tommie. They are not going to believe how good it is."

Not much is said as we quickly polish off this north shore delicacy. The wonderful fries didn't last long either.

"How delicious was that? We should be able to make it to supper after that," I profess.

"Yes Dear... You did good. I can't say that I would have picked this place, but it was a good call on your part!"

With "to go" drinks in hand, we exit into the bright Hawaiian mid-day sun. I open your car door and you give me a quick peck on the lips as I give your ass another little squeeze. You slide into your warm leather seat as I make my way around the car. I slide in, turn the key, and we are on our way.

As we pull into the parking lot of the Polynesian Cultural Center, I find a parking spot that is kind of far out and close to an exit. Although the parking lot guy was not too happy with me, it will all be worth it when we are able to make a quick getaway after the evening's show, beating most of the traffic heading back to Honolulu. We put the top up and gather all of the items we will need for our day in the "park".

Walking across the parking lot, I have my hand in your back pocket, feeling every step that you make. We stop to pick up our tickets for the day and for the luau and the show tonight. We actually will have a guide for the day which should prove to be helpful getting from exhibit to exhibit while remaining "on time" so we can see the most we can possibly see during our visit.

The Cultural Center is run by the Mormon Church. It employs numerous students from the nearby BYU campus. The Center is set up to have examples of most of the major island countries that make up Polynesia. In each of these "countries", are exhibits of their architecture, foods, dances, living quarters, and many other things that make up each culture. Most have some type of interactive exhibit to give guests an idea of what it is like in these different cultures.

We start our visit "in Samoa", where we watch a demonstration of coconut husking, fire making, and tree climbing. It is very humorous, informative, and entertaining, and is one of our favorites.

We next go to the pageant of the long canoes, which has traditional dancing and costumes from each "country". These are performed on long canoes which are pushed through canals lined with many spectators. We find a nice shaded place to sit as we watch the performance and you hold and rub my hand. You lean your head on my shoulder to my delight as I can never get enough of your touch.

We spend the rest of the day, hand in hand, going through the different villages and trying all of the things we can participate in. Our guide has proved invaluable as she shares her vast knowledge of Polynesia and the workings of the Center while she always seems to have us at the right place at the right time.

After touring the "countries", we bid our guide "aloha" and make our way to the Ali'I Luau feast for dinner. We are greeted with a beautiful lei and then gather to watch the ceremony as they remove the pig from the pit, or imu, where it has been cooking for several hours. For traditional luaus, the pig is prepared and then buried with yams and other seasonings, in a pit lined with hot coals and rocks. It is covered with ti leaves, banana leaves, and wet burlap and left many hours to steam to perfection. As the pig is lifted out of the imu, the delicious looking meat seems to just fall off the bone. I for one can't wait to have some! It smells wonderful! We take our seats as we wait for them to prepare the pig for serving and are entertained by much singing and dancing.

As we make our way to the table of food, we are amazed at the abundance of delicious looking selections. Traditional luau meat selections include pork, chicken, beef and fish, along with rice, sweet potatoes, and rolls. Customary salads include poke' and lomilomi salmon. With our plates full, we return to our seats and eat until we are stuffed. I can't help myself and have seconds before exploring the dessert table.

"Wow Dear. How do you say "pig" in Hawaiian?" you laughingly query.

"That would be "Pua'a" I believe. Is that my new nick-name"

"Well it might fit pretty well Honey. Just saying..." as you can barely hold in your laughter.

"I'll worry about my "girlish figure" after we get back home," I rationalize.

We relax for a little while longer before getting up to walk over to the theater where tonight's show will be held. There are numerous shops along the way and of course we have to browse through most of them. We find more post cards and, another magnet for the fridge.

We find that we have to wait a few more minutes before they open the gates and let us enter the theater. I figure this will be a good time to go over the game plan for after the show.

"When they have intermission, make sure you go pee then so you won't have to after it's over. As soon as the lights come up, let's hurry to the car so we can get on the road before all of the big tour busses do. Driving behind a bunch of busses all of the way back to Honolulu will take forever. That is why I parked close to the exit," I explain.

"Yes Sir," you acknowledge using your right hand to salute me with a grin.

"Go ahead and make fun... but you'll see," I counter.

The gates finally open, we make our way inside and find our seats, kind of center-right, about ten rows up. We chit chat about our day and before too long, the theater darkens as the show starts. Our seats prove to be perfect as we take in all of the dance and spectacle. Before we know it, the house lights come up and you look at me saying,

"Is it over?"

"No Babe. It's only intermission, so we better go pee and get ready for the second half."

On the way back to our seats, I see one of the workers carrying a huge tray of delicious looking desserts. I find my coupon to give to the girl and arrive back at our seats to your excited eyes.

"Oh yum! I was hoping we would get one of those."

The dessert is a cored out pineapple with chunks of the fruit in the middle covered by scoops of rainbow sherbet, a perfect and cool treat on a balmy evening in the open air theater.

The lights again go down as our senses are assaulted by the loud drums, chants, and bright flames.

After the finale, we head out to the car quickly and we are on the road ahead all of the big tour buses.

"That was an awesome day Sweetie," you share.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," as I squeeze your hand.

"I could really use a shower. Although the breezes were cool, that sun still takes it out of you. I'm ready to get out of these clothes too. This bra has been digging into me all day," you include as you try and adjust it.

"Well you don't have to wear it on my account," I offer.

"Uh-huh."

I do my best to keep the convertible on my side of the highway as I have one eye on the road and the other on you as you fidget under your blouse. Within seconds you produce your bra, throwing it on the dash in front of me. My southern regions instantly come to life.

"I probably should have just thrown it up in the air and let the wind take it, but I didn't want to litter. It's going in the trash as soon as we get back. Wow. "The Girls" do feel better now I have to admit... just saying," you again share.

"Geez Babe. I'm trying to drive here."

"Getting a little distracted are you?"

I'm doing my best trying to keep my attention on the task at hand, but certain parts of my anatomy are getting harder by the minute. The headlights of the oncoming traffic and the growing moon, are illuminating the inside of the car enough to make the goings on under your blouse more than obvious. The cool breezes circulating in the car are stiffening your nipples in a most delicious way. You catch me looking as the tires hit the centerline.

"Hey Baby. Eyes on the road," you demand.

"I'm trying... but damn! You are looking so very hot!"

"I bet you say that to all the girls," you whisper as you lean into me, biting and breathing into my ear. "I've been wanting you all day. As soon as we get back, you are all mine."

I can feel your hardness against me as you continue to nibble on my ear. You right hand is slowing rubbing up and down the inside of my thigh as you squeeze me a little higher from time to time.

Somehow we make it back to the condo in one piece and then make quick work of a shower. I enter the bedroom with my towel wrapped around my waist and find you lying on the bed, your short silky robe untied and deliciously open. The corner lamp is casting a soft warm glow over you, giving me just enough light to see everything I want to see. I stand at the foot of the bed and remove my towel, tossing it into the chair.

"Hmmm. Looks like somebody likes what they see... Or at least some of your parts do," you giggle.

"Really? What was your first clue?

"Somebody's looking quite happy," you add. "Hurry up and get over here."

"Not so fast Babe. I'm really enjoying the view. I just want to stand here and look at you for a few minutes."

"Ok... now I'm blushing. Get over here!"

"Show me some more," I counter.

"Michael. Like what? What do you want me to do?"

"Open your robe a little more. Show them to me," I instruct.

You pull your robe open a little more and then expose your breasts to the warm glow of the room... your nipples hardening with the excitement of your vulnerability.

"Touch them," I again instruct.

You take your hands and gently rake your nails in little circles around your breasts. The skin tightens with the tickling sensations. You begin to squeeze and knead them while gently rolling your nipples between your fingers. Your eyes close as you slowly get lost in the moment. Your breath quickens as you continue to provide yourself with exquisite touches and sensations. I reach down and softly run my hand along the top of your foot. This momentarily breaks your concentration as you slowly open your eyes and look into mine. The sensuality of your gaze floods my body with more and more of that which is fueling my lust. You move your hand to your stomach, as you drag your fingernails lazily across your skin... back and forth from your breasts to your navel. I'm standing... watching you... mesmerized by your actions. Slowly you move your hand further down, past the ties of your robe and they disappear between your legs causing you to draw them up to your chest. You continue this for a few seconds before you open your eyes again, finding me staring intently... watching your every move. Our eyes locked once again, you take your other hand and pull the tie loose and open your robe, revealing that which I desire. You pull it off your shoulder and slip your arm out, first one, then the other. You move your hand south again, this time being joined by the other. You spread your legs slightly, running your hands sensually up and down the insides of your thighs. Soft moans can be heard as you relentlessly tease yourself, purposely avoiding the homeland until you cannot take it any longer. With one hand retreating to pull and tug at your breasts and nipples, the other plunges into the glistening folds of your sex. Louder and louder you moan as your fingers rhythmically disappear deep inside. At this point, I'm at full attention and my own hand subconsciously finds its place, matching yours beat for beat. Your breath quickens as your slick fingers find the very hub of your pleasure, drawing slow circles around it. Your legs twitch as you make every circuit, getting progressively faster with each lap. Watching your body react to every expert touch you give it, has my body reacting in similar fashion. My eyes quickly move from your fingers pulling at your engorged nipples, to your mouth as I watch your tongue try to moisten your lips as they are drying from your heavy breathing, to the incredible sight of the music your hand is playing between your legs. Back and forth, my eyes are trying to take it all in. I move to the side of the bed and lean down giving you a kiss. You never miss a beat as I start to hear the telltale signs of your impending orgasm. You start moving your hand faster and faster as you push yourself over the edge. You draw your legs up and squeeze them together as you rock hard against your hand... your orgasm crashing through your body. You let out a hard moan as you ride wave after wave. Watching and hearing you is more than I can take. My release rips through my body as silky strands land on your breasts and stomach, one after the other. I continue my touch, getting every ounce of pleasure out of my body while my eyes are filled with the sight of you in your beautiful nirvana. I finally place my hand on the bed, steadying myself on shaky knees. Your thighs finally release your hand as you slowly open your eyes to find mine still locked on yours. You give me a contented smile as you run your hand up and down my arm.

"Wow Honey. That was intense. I hope you're happy with yourself!" you giggle.

"Pretty much!"

"Geez Dear. You made a mess," you observe.

Yeah... It happens from time to time," I laugh. "Hang on. Let me grab that towel for you."

I hand you the towel and you wipe yourself off. I borrow the towel from you for a quick clean-up before tossing it to the floor. I reach and cut off the lamp before sliding into bed next to you. You lay your head on my chest as your fingernails draw lazy patterns. Within minutes, we are both consumed by contented sleep.

# Chapter Sixteen

"In my darkest state of mind.

I am riddled with despair.

When I try and close my eyes.

Your voice is all I hear.

I will think of you tonight.

I will hold back all my tears.

I've waited all these years.

Please don't go away.

You're making a mistake.

You and I were meant to be.

You've opened up my eyes

And made me realize.

Now it's changing everything.

It's crazy how I feel this way.

I can't explain.

Don't go away..."

_"Don't Go Away" ~_ _Buckcherry_ 14

* * *

Kathy:

Dear Mike,

Well I know its been a few days since we last really talked. Things are going good here, which I know Im still having a hard time believing. Scott and I had a long talk Monday when he got home.

He said he had had an "epiphany" and didnt like what he was seeing when he looked into the mirror. I also apparently had said your name in my sleep Sunday night, which I think really scared him. He hasnt asked much questions about anything....although he knows I have been talking to someone a lot.....he said he didnt blame me for anything, cause he knows he hasnt been what I have been needing for awhile now. He said a lot of really sweet things to me, made me cry and has been wonderful to me ever since.

He has denied being with others, although Im still not sure I believe him.

Have no idea how long this will last, but I must admit I do love that we are trying to make things work again. Only time will tell at this point I spose.

I know that none of this is what you are wanting to hear from me....but I want to be as honest with you as I possibly can. I do love you and care for you deeply, but at this point in my life, I am having to think about my children and whats best for them. I hope and pray that you do understand......as I try to make my marriage work. Im trying to put him back where he should be and we have both talked about knocking down the walls that have separated us for the past few years. I pray that everything will work out with us.

I do hope that you and Madisson can try and work things out as well. I know you guys arent getting along great right now, maybe this trip will help you get back on the right track as well. Maybe you guys need to have a heart to heart and tell her how you have been feeling. Maybe if you tell her what you would like for her to do, she will do what she needs to to keep you happy. Guess after my week, what have you got to lose you know? And as you have told me (on more than one occasion)....sometimes people can surprise you.

I do hope you guys have a safe trip.....know that you will always be in my thoughts.

I love you

Kath

Mike:

Dear Kathy,

We made it to our appointment in one piece...and a bit late. I waved when we passed your exit.

I would like some time to talk in the next couple weeks. I would just like to set some expectations. I know things can't be like they were...and. That's ok...I'm really happy for you....but I don't want you to be gone forever either. I value your friendship and I would like us to be comfortable with things.

Doing all of this in a couple emails just doesn't seem right after the past four months.

The timing isn't right now, with your anniversary and my trip..

Hope yall have a great time..

Love

Mike

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

* * *

Kathy:

Dear Mike,

I hope this finds you well. Hope your trip went okay.

I know you have been wondering about me and how things are going. I must admit, things are going well. I had my other appointment last week for the TMJ, which turned out to be TMD. Found out my jaw has done some really weird things, guess its been related to the stress Ive been under for the past several years. Needless to say, I was given muscle relaxers to help me sleep at night. Dr said that even though I had been taking the ambien to help me get to sleep, I still did not sleep through the night. Like I needed him to tell me that....anyway, these muscle relaxers were to be increased one at a time until I was able to sleep through the night. Amazing that it has taken 3 of them to accomplish this, along with the ambien......I know you are probably wondering why Im telling you this, and I guess the point would be that it has made me "talk" a lot in my sleep. Began about a week ago, Scott had come to bed and was trying to have his way with me, and apparently I said your name. So, Im guessing in his curiousity he started asking me questions, and thus, I began confessing the past three years to him.

I had no idea this was going on until our weekend. He has been extremely supportive of everything, much to my surprise. He has (I guess) finally woke up and seen what he has been doing to me. He knows about you, our relationship. He has apologized so many times for neglecting me and honestly, I think it finally hit him that I was so close to leaving him.

I dont think he has read any of the emails we have shared....but it does amaze me that he has been so understanding. He even was thankful that I had someone there to talk to during the many times he wasnt. He knows how he has hurt me, and so wants to make it better. He has been very attentive and its like it was during the first years of our marriage. He has told me there hasnt been anyone else, except he was placing himself first, which he knows was a huge mistake.

He also doesnt want me to stop anything Ive been doing......he just doesnt want me to hide anything from him ever again.

I hope this all makes sense.....it is kinda hard to explain. I have been wanting to write to you for the past day or so, but was unsure if the words would come to where I could convey all this to you. I hope you had a good weekend, or one as good as you could possibly have. Been thinking about you...

Love you,

Kath

Mike:

Thanks so much for the email. I just got to the office and had a chance to read this. There is so much I want to say about all of this....imagine that right?...but I don't have time right now. I have the past 4 days pent up inside, and I am so ready to let it all out. It's been so frustrating since I have had no time to myself...and still don't for the moment...Thank God for sunglasses....

Know that I am extremely happy for you.

Love you too

Mike

Kathy:

Okay....I am ready to hear all about what you have to say....and no, im not surprised that you have a lot to comment on about this.

Let me know when you can talk,

Kath

* * *

Kathy:

**Subject:** None

My darling husband,

Just been checking email and watching spongebob for the second time....about to go take a shower. I am moving extremely slow this morning for some reason...wishing you were here with me.

You have absolutely no idea how all this attention has been affecting me. To hear that I have "confessed" things to you, and to think you understand why, well, it just amazes me. Guess through this whole thing, I have come to understand why Mom felt the way she did with Dad, and why she left. I cant begin to tell you how wonderful it feels to be "falling in love with you" all over again. In my wildest dreams, I never thought that you could make me feel like you have been making me feel the last few days. Knowing that Im all you need and want, just makes my heart pound like you cannot believe.

I so wanted things to be "back to normal" for us both; wasnt sure what that was, I just knew it wasnt what it had been. I have felt so distanced from you for so long. It has been hard trying to maintain a face that seemed like everything was okay, when deep down inside me it hasnt been. Guess after awhile, you begin just going through the motions with nothing really left inside you to speak of. Mike did help me with all that. Had it not been for him, the past four months would probably have been worse. He made me feel alive again. Like I was attractive and lucky in so many ways. We had two wonderful children, of which he assured me how good a mother I was. Guess he has been telling me some things I needed to hear from you. I have known him since we were both about 5 ~ just havent talked with him hardly at all the last 40 years.

Hope Im not getting too gushy for you....wanting to let you know how I feel and how much I so love you. You are the father of my children, the lover of my soul and the one that completes me in so many ways. I thank God that you have come back to me and are now the man I have longed for in so many ways. I simply cant wait for you to come home to me tonight....just the thought of laying in your arms again, just completes me.

It has been a long time since I felt this much peace. I just wanted to share a few thoughts with you......

I hope you can feel how much I love you and what you mean to me, as a husband, as a man, and as the father of our children.......

Your loving wife,

Kathy

* * *

Kathy:

Well, I must admit sometimes "thinking" about how you are going to say things and then the actual "talk" always comes out different. Mike, please dont put so much thought into this...speak from your heart ~ you do that so well.....maybe you should pretend you are talking to me or to Karen when you talk to M.....be thoughtful, be caring, be loving, be yourself. You are such a wonderful person, you really should know that now. You are a light in the darkness and you need to keep that in your head.

Dont be so hard on yourself, your heart will lead you down the right path.....and you never know what is going to "come off your tongue" when you begin speaking. Speak from your heart ~ I know that deep down, you still have some feelings for M.....be some good, be some bad.....I wouldnt plead with her, but be honest. Be honest to yourself and listen to your heart, and the words will come forth. Trust me....just dont be afraid, it will all work out best.

I wouldnt push it.....it will happen on its own, when the time is ready, things will begin pouring forth.....as it did for me.

I couldnt help but shed a tear when I read how you "lost it" with Allison asking about how your trip went. I so hope that it wasnt me that helped cause your pain. I never wanted anything but the best for you.....I do love you and you will be in my heart.

Please remember that you do speak so well when you are revealing your feelings......you helped put me where I was able to say what I needed to say to Scott. You gave me such confidence in that way.....know that I will do my best to return "the favor"....

Please keep me posted and know that I am just a text, chat or call away.

Love you too,

Kathy

Mike:

Going to have to read this after lunch...you always touch .me so...

Love you

Mike

Kathy:

guess that is a "good" thing? Im merely returning the favor ... you kept me afloat for so long, now its my turn to do that for you...

love you too,

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

My Dearest Madisson,

Hope this finds you well and that you are having a decent afternoon.

I realize this email is a bit out of the ordinary, but please don't be alarmed or read anything else into it.

Know that I love you... have always loved you... and are sure you feel the same. However, I think you would agree that a fair statement would be that we haven't been "in love" for quite a while now. I know that is not one of your favorite cliches but I think it is accurate. There is no reason to point blame...it just is what it is.

I would like to change this, and was wondering if you would be interested too. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. There are things that will take time to work through, as well as subjects and discussions that will probably be uncomfortable and even hurtful.... but I'm willing to start this process if you are.

I'm not proud of the way I have acted from time to time over the past few years...nor for some of the things I've done. But do know that I've never done anything to ever intentionally hurt you.

I'm ready to try and recover some of the things that made us decide to spend our lives together as husband and wife. I remember being so scared that we would fall asleep in each others arms in my car...while dreaming of the nights that sleeping in each others arms would become a reality. I want that feeling again. To me you are still as beautiful as the day I met you. Please don't roll your eyes or say "yeah, yeah". I know when we look in the mirror, what we see may not be the same...but from the inside, I still see you like you were in the old black and white pics or the pictures on the wall over my right shoulder as I write this.

So as we go to dinner tonight...I would like to quote Paul Stanley when he said, "We can change the world...but we ain't gonna change it tonight.". Let's have dinner, and try to get things on the right path. We will have more time to ourselves tomorrow during our trip. Amy will also be gone for a few days at the end of the month. It took a while for it to get messed up, so let's take some time to rebuild it right.

Hope this all makes sense to you.

I love you,

Michael

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Not finished...

Hi Dear,

Sorry we didn't get to finish the conversation today. I would like to be able to, but not sure when. I don't know exactly what time I will get home tomorrow, but we might have some time then. Maybe 2-3 if you can...maybe later... We will be leaving Thursday morning for Georgia, and won't be back until monday or Tuesday next week.

I so hate it that you are feeling this way. Yes... you may have made some decisions that might not have been the best, but you were not in it alone. Everyone is an adult here, and they know what they were/are doing, and the consequences. I understand where Scott is coming from, but wish he would be a little more compromising in his approach. I can understand he not wanting you to have contact with certain people, but I feel he needs to give you a little more leeway in how you end it. If after you end it, then it's up to you to uphold your end of the bargain. If that were not to happen, then he can be more persistant in his actions.

I know I have no vote in this and this is just my opinion, and just one of the issues you guys are facing. My only hope/wish for you is that you don't get too caught up in the wonderful feelings you are having now and that you agree to things that aren't really fair for you or are something you can't do long term without some resentment creeping in. I'm scared any resentment might cause cracks or you might end up keeping secrets again. You need full closure on this. Again... just my opinion and I sure don't want you to take my advice on any of this and derail the awesome progress you and Scott have made.

Who knows... i may be next on his list of people he doesn't want you to contact.

Hope you had a great evening, and hope Jessica won her game!

Love

Mike

Kathy:

Hello there.....

Yes, Jessica won her first game, but they lost the second...she did play really well though. She has vb this afternoon from 230 til about 600, tommie is at camp again until 3, then his swim lesson at 330....guess it will be kinda busy this afternoon.

Scott and I did talk again about all this last night. He realizes he does need to give me a little space and is letting me handle things as best that i can now. I know he wants things to be over and done with....and im doing my best to accomodate that. He has been so supportive of everything, I still feel like im living in a dream. Guess I have "my moments" and you just happen to have caught that yesterday. I do go from feeling really "high" and then the next realizing how much pain I have caused and it really hurts.....if you know what i mean.

I so hope you and M have a wonderful trip and that things are going really good for you guys.

Have a safe trip and I'll talk with you soon,

Kathy

* * *

Mike:

**Subject:** Monday

Having a Beignet at a little corner cafe in New Orleans. Trip has been good. Hope all is well with you.

Mike

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Kathy:

Things are good here.....cant wait to hear about your trip.

kathy

* * *

A very good friend of mine always tells me, "You never know what is coming around the next corner". This is so very true... sometimes it's something good... sometimes it's not. But I guess that is just life.

I had not heard from Kathy in a couple days. I was anxious to hear what happened after they discussed her Dr visit. Kelly and I were getting ready to head to Kathy's area for our meeting and then I was going to stay there for a few hours as my family was going to meet me there. We were then going to drive on to west Texas for a family reunion and then take a little side trip through New Mexico. As I was checking my email that morning before leaving, I received an email from Kathy that told me of some of the conversations they were having that week. She told me how she said my name in her sleep and how he had an "epiphany". She told me how they had begun the process of trying to rebuild what they once had. Needless to say, it hit me in the gut and took my breath away. I so wanted to talk to her about this, but she was not logged into YM, which was our signal that it was ok to talk. In the meantime, I was going to be stuck in the car with my partner and his wife for the next few hours, be stuck in meetings most of the day, and then be stuck in a car for the next few days with my family. Evidently I was going to be stuck in every way possible, and there wasn't much I was going to be able to do about it. I was a mess and was trying desperately to hold it together. We made the drive, had our meeting, and that was more bad news. My world felt like it was crumbling down around me and I didn't have my best friend to talk to anymore.

After our meeting, we went and got some lunch. I was surprised I even had an appetite. As we were leaving, I got an IM from Kathy saying she could talk for a little bit. We talked the whole time it took to get to the place I was to meet my family. As I sat there waiting, we continued to talk. She told me how she was excited, but anxious that they were airing out a lot of old issues. She wasn't sure how much she had said in her sleep, but he may tell her more as they would be spending the weekend together celebrating their anniversary. We talked until it was time for her to get ready, and promised to talk as soon as I got back from my trip. I was not happy, but I was in a better place than I was that morning. I truthfully wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, but I didn't want what we had to end either. I totally understood her responsibility to her children, and to her marriage, giving it every chance to work out.

As I sat there waiting for my family to arrive, I was trying to psych myself up for the next few days...being trapped in a car with my family and my mother.

We made it to the reunion, and then set out on our side trip to Roswell, NM to see all of the alien stuff. As I drove, I had to endure endless hours of the battle between trying to pay attention to the conversations going on in the car and the thoughts going on in my head. As I fought back tears from time to time, I was so grateful that I had dark sunglasses. Why I was so emotional was one conversation I did not want to get into, being that we were in such close quarters and especially with an audience.

I had to take part in a personality quiz... since I was stuck in a car with nowhere to run. I had to list my 10 all-time favorite movies, and then I was given a score that revealed my personality. I ended up being a Voracious Romantic. Big surprise huh? (so was Amy actually). I also had to listen to the fact that I used to be like that, but wasn't anymore. I didn't respond by saying that I was actually still like that, but just not around M.

The talk about all of the movies and being romantic actually made me think about "wet kisses"... you know... the kind with a little passion in them. The last two of these I have given or received, was actually with Kathy.... and those were months ago.

As we finally returned home, I was so ready to talk some more with Kathy about all of this. I wanted to hear about what kind of progress they had made while I was gone. We finally had a chance and she said they were doing well, but it had been a struggle. While on their anniversary trip, he told her more about the things she said in her sleep. Nothing too incriminating as it relates to me, but she was feeling a bit venerable about it. She expressed her surprise about how Scott was actually handling all of this. It had opened dialog that she never thought they would talk about. She said it felt good to "come clean" and try and make a new start.

Kathy was adamant that I try and do the same with M. She said after all of these years, I owed it to myself and to my marriage. If after trying my best and things still fell apart, I could at least know that I gave it everything I had.

So with Kathy's help and the help of another very dear friend, I set out to try and recoup what M and I once had. With all of Kathy's successes, I was gaining confidence that it would be possible. I knew it was going to be a lot of hard work, but hopefully in the end, it would be worth it.

I called M and asked if she would like to go have dinner... that I wanted to talk about some stuff. I told her not to worry, it wasn't bad stuff, and actually, hopefully, it would be some good stuff. I then sent her an email explaining more and telling her how much I wanted to rekindle the feelings we had so many years ago. We met for dinner, talked, cried a little, and sort of started to put things on the right path. I so much wanted to start with a clean slate and knew at some point that I had to tell her about Kathy. I was not going to go into great detail, but I wanted M to know about her, but more importantly, I wanted her to know that our second chance was due in large part because of Kathy. I wanted the feelings that I had between Kathy and I to be the same or better, between M and I... where they should be. Later that weekend as M and I traveled alone after a family function, I brought up the subject and told her. It was a tough conversation even though I only scratched the surface of what really happened between us. I never used the word "love" or told her that we had spent any time together. I just told her that she was a special friend from my past, that we had reconnected, and we had some very intimate conversations about our lives and relationships.

Obviously she was not very happy and has a hard time with my ability to talk to people, and have people seek me out to talk about intimate details of our/their relationships. Friends used to tease me that I should become a "shrink" since it was always so easy to talk to me... or at least it was easy for everyone else... but M.

We had our ups and downs for the next few days, and eventually it seemed we were ending on an "up" note. As Thursday of that week rolled around, we were heading out to the east coast for another family reunion. This trip would prove to be much more pleasant than the last one. We would hold hands as we drove, talked about things, and even laughed... something we hadn't done in a long time. We had forgotten to bring CDs with us, so we were forced to listen to various radio stations. To my astonishment, she did not change the station when a Rod Stewart song came on. Maybe we really had turned the corner on things. After the reunion, we traveled down through Mobile and then on to New Orleans. We spent a few hours going through the French Quarter and took Amy down Bourbon Street. We had coffee and beignets at "Café du Monde" and saw the tomb of Marie LaVeau.

As we made our way home, again I was so very excited to talk again with Kathy to see how they were progressing and to tell her about our trip.

The events of the next few days would change my life forever...

# Hawaii...Day 16

I wake up and notice you are still sleeping. I snuggle up to you and feel your warmth and revel in your stickiness and smell that still clings to my body. I go through what has become my morning ritual of holding you, feeling you breathe, and listening to your heartbeat. I relish in the moment a bit longer, then gently and quietly slide out of bed. I slip on my clothes, quietly make my way out of the door and head to the diner we ate breakfast at yesterday. I order our favorites and they pack them to go. When I return, you are already up and pretty much ready for the day.

"Good morning Sweetie," you say while giving me a tender kiss on the lips. "Wow... You smell like you might have had some fun last night. Anybody I know?" you giggle.

"Good morning my Love... and yes... I'm pretty sure you have met her before," I counter. "A blond gal, about so high. Beautiful eyes. Great tits. Insatiable woman."

"My goodness! You sound a bit infatuated!"

"Infatuated? No. Just terribly in love with her."

A big smile breaks out across your face as you throw your arms around me, again pressing your lips to mine.

"I love you too Michael."

With that you grab the bag from my hands. "What's in here? It smells delicious! I was wondering where you ran off to."

"I thought I would surprise you with some breakfast in bed, but I see I'm a bit late."

"Awww. You're so thoughtful."

We open the glass door to the lanai and let the cool morning breeze in as we unpack the deliciousness from the bag. We sit at the table and discuss our last full day in Honolulu.

We decide that we are generally going to take it easy today. We plan at trip to Hanauma Bay Park to snorkel. It is one of the best places to snorkel on the island, and has also been declared a marine sanctuary.

The bay was actually formed in the crater of an extinct volcano. One side has been blown out and the sea came in forming a beautiful bay teaming with sea life.

Arriving at the park, we watch the required educational presentation then pay for the shuttle down to the beach. We rent some snorkel gear and find a nice little spot under the palm trees to set up "camp".

We put on our snorkel gear and head out into the surf. You are like a seasoned professional now and need no help at all. We snorkel for a couple hours, enjoying the abundant coral formations and numerous schools of fish. With breakfast finally wearing off, we decide to call it a day, and head back. We stop at a local burger stand and have a couple "Hawaiian burgers" with pineapple and teriyaki.

We return to our condo about 1:30 and are feeling rather sleepy, so we run a tub of water with lots of bubbles. From his perch high on the shelf, I swear Mikey has a bit of a smile on his face as he watches us trying to negotiate the small tub. We both have a good laugh as we wish we still had one of the large tubs from the other resort. With your back to me and one of my legs hanging over the side, I wash the salt and sand out of your hair and give you a shoulder message while you melt under my touch. I wrap my arms around you while we soak for a few more minutes.

We have another laugh as we manage the extrication process between us and the tub. The room is quite chilly which has such a yummy effect on your body. Wrapped in a towel you run a comb through you hair and slip on your robe. You come into the bedroom where I am waiting, and stand by the bed. You turn out the lamp and the room darkens. You drop your robe and slide into the bed next to me. It doesn't take long to fall asleep in each other's arms.

I'm shaken awake as you lean over me and softly kiss my cheek. I guess I was more tired than I thought, as you have already dressed for our last evening in Waikiki. I slowly arise and make my way to the bathroom to get ready, putting on my aloha shirt and khakis. You are looking especially beautiful tonight in your sun dress and new jewelry you bought at the International Market. We make our way down the street looking in shops as we pass them. After over two weeks of shopping, it is still hard to resist looking as we try to make sure we didn't miss anything.

We have reservations at Roy's - Waikiki Beach on Lewers Street. We get there on time, and are shown to our table. The waiter pulls out your chair and seats you as I am being seated and handed a wine list. We order a bottle of local red wine and an appetizer of Misoyaki Seared Scallops. The wine arrives and after tasting, we have a glass poured for each. I raise my glass to you, in a toast to a wonderful trip. I tell you how much I love you and how blessed I feel you have chosen me to spend your life with. Our appetizer arrives as we are still gazing into each other's eyes. It smells wonderful, and after a bite, the taste is just as wonderful. We finish the scallops and pour another glass of wine. You are holding and slowly rubbing my hand, as we have them stretched toward each other across the table. We are discussing the fact that this is our last night here and how we want to make it special and memorable. Within a couple minutes, our main course arrives. You are having the Crispy Herb Infused Chicken, with pancetta braised fingerling potatoes, summer vegetables, and country style mushroom gravy. I have a Rustic Grilled Petite Filet, rare, roasted poblano mashed potatoes, and red wine natural sauce. Our meal is cooked to perfection, and the wait staff was attentive, but not intrusive. We finish the meal while you are enjoying conversation and I am enjoying your eyes and smile. We are going all out tonight, so we have dessert....a summer peach tart and a chocolate soufflé'. We take turns feeding each other dessert as we sample what the other has ordered. Our desserts are finished at the same time as the bottle of wine is emptied. Perfect timing. We exit the restaurant and make our way down the street and between two hotels, arriving on Waikiki Beach. We remove our shoes and walk across the sand, finding the perfect spot to watch the sunset. We sit close, holding hands and each other, as we watch the finish of another day.

After the setting of the sun, we grab our shoes, and walk along the edge of the surf in the cool sand...hand in hand. Words aren't spoken....there is no need. We stop from time to time, to embrace and kiss. You feel so wonderful in my arms and the feel of your lips on mine. We slowly make our way toward our hotel, not wanting this night to end. It could not be more perfect.

Once inside, we hurriedly make our way to the bathtub to wash away the sand... pawing each other relentlessly on the way. Drying off under Mikey's watchful eye, you then make your way to the bedroom as I grab a bottle of wine and a couple glasses from the kitchen. Entering the dimly lit bedroom, I find your dress, bra, and silky panties in a pile on the floor. I find you on the bed, naked with hardened nipples from the cold room, slowly running your fingers through the perfectly manicured patch of blond hair adorning the region I so desire .

"Hurry up Baby. It's cold in here. Come keep me warm."

I set down the wine and glasses on the nightstand and quickly shed my clothes, not taking my eyes off your exquisite body. I crawl on top of you, sliding between your legs as you pull them up with bent knees. I thrust my tongue into your inviting mouth as you suck me in deeper and harder. My hands find your breasts as I roll your nipples between my fingers. You pull your mouth from mine, kissing my neck, then biting and breathing hard into my ear.

"I want to feel you inside me," you pant.

I raise myself off you a little as your expert hands guide me to the pleasure that is you. You gasp slightly as I am engulfed by your warm wetness. I move slowly... in an out... while I lavish in the wonderful feeling that your body provides me. I place my lips upon your nipple, gently sucking as my tongue circles its hardness. I hear your guttural moan as I continue to work your other nipple between my fingers, as I still slowly move in and out of your soul. Your nails trail tantalizingly down my back as countless shivers ripple through my skin.

My mouth again finds your mouth. My tongue again yours. I suck hard as you thrust your tongue deep inside. My God. The taste of this woman. Your neck beckons as my lips find the delicate skin below your ear, and then you slightly cringe at the sensation of my heavy breath in your ear. My tongue circles its shape, again causing breathless moans from deep inside your body. Instinctively you clench your legs around me grinding your blond patch hard against me, using your womanly muscles to draw the pleasure forth from my body. Feeling that familiar twitch, I withdraw from you, wanting to prolong this heavenly encounter.

"No! Stay in!

"I will Babe. Just give me a few... Your body. I don't want this to end too soon."

I kiss your hard and deep then slide my lips to your nipples. First one, then the other... sucking hard and pulling at them with my teeth. Your pleasure loudly escapes your lips as I continue to nip and bite at your flesh. My fingers replace my teeth, pulling and teasing while I slide further and further down your luscious body. I pause at your bellybutton, drawing lazy circles around it with my tongue before finally making my way past your blondness and to your shaven treasure. You grab my head as you push yourself to my face as my warm breath makes you squirm under the unbearable anticipation. I kiss the inside of one thigh and then the other, sucking slightly and running my tongue over your heated skin.

"Oh God! Hurry up Michael!"

Putting an end to your torture, I slip my tongue between your lips, starting at the bottom and slowly making my way to the top, and your apex of pleasure... swollen and pulsating under my touch. I tease it with slow methodical licks, as you continue to buck against my touch, before I finally take it between my lips, sucking it and running it across my teeth.

"Oh shit Babe. Don't stop doing that!"

I bury my nose into your blond essence, supercharging my senses as my lips, teeth and tongue, continue their onslaught. I take my hand, and slowly move two drenched fingers into you, rhythmically stroking the roof of your existence. Your moans become louder with each stroke of my fingers. My lips, my tongue, my fingers... all in perfect unison and rhythm are joined by the movements of your hips as you grind against my touch. With each heavy breath becoming harder and harder, you finally cry out your surrender to the pleasure. My fingers continue, and with each stroke I am rewarded with your flood that coincides with each delirious contraction of your orgasm.

"Stop! Stop! Stop! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Holy crap! The things you do to me."

I slowly stop my tongue and fingers, slowly sliding them out of you. I move my hand to your breast, spreading your juices over your nipple. I take your pinkness into my mouth savoring the taste. I move up kissing you deeply and passionately.

"I love your body," I share looking deeply into your eyes. "Can I come inside now?"

You again reach down placing me against your soul where I easily enter into your body's spell. I can't help myself and I quickly and completely bury myself into the core of your being. You again wrap your legs around me pulling me deeper as you thrust yourself against me. Your nails glide down my back as I pull you further into my mouth. Your body tugs at my pleasure and embarrassingly within a couple minutes, I relinquish all control as my orgasm courses through every fiber of my being. Wave after wonderful wave crashes through me at the speed of light. I push harder and harder into you as I try to combine our souls with every unbelievable spasm.

"Kathy. When it comes to your body, I just can't help myself," I barely get out as a whisper.

You pull me close giving me a kiss before sliding out from under me. You snuggle up against me laying your head on my chest. Your fingers draw little circles as you gently stroke my skin.

"Did you forget about the wine?" I inquire.

"I guess I did. I had better things on my mind. Good night Michael. I love you."

"I love you more Baby."

# Chapter Seventeen

"...Why must I grieve

For a lie that I still believe.

It's a waste, what a sin.

It's a fight I can never win.

Anywhere that I go, you go.

Baby, in my own reflection, you show.

Like a ghost by my side with a hold on my mind.

When I'm all alone and I dream of you

I wake up, I wake up screaming.

9-1-1, no one hears my cries.

I break up, I wake up screaming

On and on

I'm running in slow motion

'Till the dawn

When the morning saves me..."

_"Wake up Screaming" ~_ _Paul Stanley_ 15

Kathy:

Mike,

I have been asked by Scott to contact you and let you know not to contact me anymore.

I wish you the best,

Kathy

* * *

Tuesday, August 24, 2010... started out like any other day. Little did I know that by the time the sun would set on that day, my life would be changed forever.

Since returning from my trip with my family, Kathy and I had talked a couple times about how things were going with each of us. We were pretty excited, and were wondering if this was the "why" we had been looking for. From almost the beginning, we had been wondering why all of this had happened. Yes, we knew it was probably wrong on one hand, but there was so much there, that we had to see it through. Thus we were always asking "why". We wondered if maybe God put us together for the strength to finally fess up to the responsibilities of our own relationships.

That Tuesday, the conversation was as normal as it always was. I was telling her about the fact that M and I were actually having a good time together, which was something that had not happened in a long, long time. We were having conversations that needed to happen and it was breathing new life into our relationship. She said her and Scott were also making progress, although it seemed to be at a slower pace. They seemed to take a couple steps forward and then one back, and forward for a couple more, then back. They were having some very deep discussions, and even though she was glad they were having them, it was still very emotionally draining.

She mentioned that he made her give him all of the passwords to her Yahoo Mail, Messenger, Facebook, and any other accounts she had. He took her phone and laptop and went through them looking for who knows what. She said he found the picture of the rubber ducky and bubble bath on her phone, which turned into another long discussion. She also said he dug through all of her folders on Yahoo, and found the "Hawaii Stories". She wasn't sure which ones he read, or if maybe he read all of them. She was upset that he was invading her privacy in a way that she was not comfortable with. She realized that keeping secrets was not a healthy way to try and start over, but she also realized that it is only human to have private things. She wanted to open up and share these things on her own terms... not to be forced. I told her not to be confrontational, so she would not damage the progress they have already made. She said she was trying to honor his wishes but didn't want to let him run over her, although this was becoming difficult because of her excitement with their "re-born" relationship.

It was getting late in the afternoon, and she needed to start supper and I needed to finish up what I was doing and head home from my office. M and I were going to meet up and go to a "special store" to make some purchases that evening. Kathy was teasing me about it and said she couldn't wait to hear details about what we saw and what we bought. We said our usual "goodbyes" and then we closed the chat session in YM. At the time, I had no idea this would be the last time we would ever talk...

Over the next week or so, I would "see" Kathy online and ask if she could talk. She would ignore my attempts of engaging her in conversations, and at first I figured it might be bad timing or something, but after numerous attempts, I knew something was up. I finally realized that is was probably Scott who was logging in as her. I hoped that this would only be a temporary thing while they worked things out. I knew they needed their space, so I made a conscious effort to not "bother" her since I was never sure if it was her or Scott online. As this went on, it was getting more and more devastating for me. Yes, I did still love her more than I can say, but the fact that I might be losing my best friend again, was almost more than I could bear.

I tried to channel some of these raw emotions into my relationship with M. "Good morning" emails, being more attentive, doing more things with her, and so on. At first this seemed to be working, but within a few weeks, I could see us losing ground. We weren't totally back to where we started, but a lot of the "new luster" and worn thin. I know these things take a lot of work, and its work that has to come from both sides, but it seems like we couldn't stop the bleeding. Things weren't in total chaos, but it's frustrating when you work so hard, only to see the good times being outweighed by the bad times. By that I mean, it seemed more energy was being used to keep things from being bad than making things happy... if that makes any sense.

M hated FB and me chatting with friends online. I had completely quit going upstairs and using my laptop to talk with people, plus I suspended my FB account for a while. I decided it wasn't doing me any good to log into FB and see that Kathy was online, but then not be able to talk with her.

I struggled for the next few weeks, trying to come to grips with how this all went from such a high, to such a miserable low, so fast. I had a very hard time with the fact that I had absolutely no control over the whole situation.

As Halloween came around, I decided I would send Kathy a Hoops & Yoyo e-card like I do with a number of other friends. I picked one out, and signed it "Happy Halloween, Mike"... plain and simple... nothing mushy.

The morning after Halloween, I was at work, and my phone chimed with an email. As I checked it, I saw it was from Kathy... finally after 2 1/2 months. I opened the email and it basically said that she was being asked by Scott to let me know not to contact her again. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It took all of the air out of me and I started shaking. I just could not believe it. The finality of it cut me down at the knees. I felt that I needed to reply, but after all of the things I had written, and all of the conversations we had, I could not find the words. My heart was shattered and lying in little pieces all over the floor. My world was crashing all around me. I was still trying to catch my breath and was fighting off wave after wave of emotion. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I'm standing out in the middle of public, trying to gather my composure and at the same time come up with some sort of reply. In hindsight, I wish I would have waited to respond until later, after the waves of emotion had somewhat subsided. Instead, I just said, "ok... I can do that. Good luck. Mike".

To say that I was an emotional wreck for the next few weeks would be an understatement. I was barely functioning as a human being. I was trying to live a double life... acting like nothing was wrong on the outside, but on the inside, I was ready to crater. God tossed me a life preserver in the form of my dear friend in Seattle. She had been there for years and especially the last few months, but she really was there for me as this last situation went down. I thank the Lord every day for her friendship.

After Thanksgiving, I re-activated my FB account. I was slowly getting my bearings about me, and felt that it might help get things back to normal...or as normal as they could be without her in my life. As my "friends list" populated, I noticed, to my surprise, that Kathy was still on it. I couldn't resist the temptation to click on her profile, and it took me to her page that was now combined with Scott. Her maiden name was also removed. I could see that Scott was calling the shots and it broke my heart to know that she seemed to be having to succumb to his strong arm tactics. When we first started talking, she described how she retreated to her own little world to cope with his domineering personality. After coming so far in getting her self-confidence back, to see her agree to this, made me so very sad. I know she is a grown woman, who can make her own choices, but I also knew this is not how she would have wanted things if given more of a choice.

A couple days later, I saw where she was not in my "friends list" any longer.

Through the holidays, I did the best I could to keep my mind on other things, but was not very successful. Before, I had been so excited about going through this time of year with her, to hear about their family traditions and such. It had been a while since I had a 5 year old in the house, and I was anxious to hear about how excited he would be getting as Christmas approached. Unfortunately, this would not be happening now.

As the New Year arrived, I was determined to start things off on the right foot. I would again try and do whatever it took to try and rekindle things in my own relationship. This would work for a while and then we were right back to square one. I finally kind of decided that this might just be my fate in life, and I would have to make the best of it. It's not like things were horrible 24/7. There were good times. But to me, there should be far more good times then there are bad times. You shouldn't have to work so hard just to have fun and laugh.

As February approached and my birthday came around, I still held out a little hope that I might hear from Kathy. The first week of February went by, and then the second, and before I knew it, March was here and I had heard nothing.

Later in the spring, I was going through some old FB posts looking for something that had been posted on my wall over a year ago. I was very surprised to see that you could even go back that far on your "wall" and was even more surprised when I saw that a couple posts made by Kathy were still there. As I looked at her name, and realized that it was a live link to her profile, I couldn't help myself, and I clicked it. It did take me to her profile, although it was only to her public information. I was able to see that she had gone back to work and she had listed her employer.

As her birthday approached in June, I decided that if she was still working there, I would send her a card. I didn't dare send her anything through email in the event he was still monitoring this, nor would I send anything to her house. I went to the employer's website and was able to see that she was still working there. I wanted to send her something from Hoops & Yoyo because she had really come to love them, but I also wanted to send her something with red Gerber Daisies on it, her favorite flowers. Obviously I couldn't find a card with both of these, plus a store bought card wasn't going to say what I wanted to say, exactly the way I wanted to say it. I just wanted her to know that I was thinking of her, but I didn't want it to be mushy at all. I downloaded some Hoops and Yoyo images and some of red Gerber Daisies, and made my own card. In the middle I wrote:

Please don't be angry or upset with me for "contacting" you. It's your birthday, and everyone deserves to have their birthday acknowledged...no matter the circumstance. I pray this finds you happy and well. May YOUR day be wonderful and memorable.

Happy Birthday Kathy,

Always,

Mike

I never heard anything back, which I kind of considered a small victory. I felt since I didn't get a letter, email, call, or instant message, asking "what part of not contacting me don't your understand", then hopefully she read it, had warm thoughts, and maybe felt a little more special on her day.

It's hard to believe, as of the writing of this passage, it's been over a year and a half since we last spoke. It still hurts as if it were yesterday, but my friends that know of this, say that the pain will eventually fade. I'm still waiting.

I can't really put my finger on what it is about her soul that has such a hold on me. There really isn't one particular thing, other than I liked the fact that when I was with her, I was me. Very few people really know me...and that includes my spouse. She did at one time, but her ways and actions have made being that person around her impossible. With Kathy I could be me, and it was so peaceful and comfortable.

When Kathy and I first started talking, she would make comments and jokes about us chasing each other around using our walkers. It got to be a running joke ( no pun intended) and once I even took a picture of this really cool one an old lady had, and I sent it to Kathy asking her what color she wanted it in for her birthday. Sometimes I wonder if she knew something I didn't. Will our paths eventually cross again? I wonder from time to time if God keeps her in my mind and in my heart, because our story may not be over. There isn't a day which goes by that she isn't on my mind. It's a song, or hearing someone say "Uh -huh" or seeing a Chick-fil-A, Sonic, Taco Express, IHOP, diet Dr Pepper, red Gerber Daisies, the chime of an IM or email, pancakes, or countless other things. I guess you could say that I have created my own little "hell". I used to laugh at my mother-in-law when she would say, "There isn't a "hell". We are living in hell now." There may be more truth to that than we know.

As the next couple of years went by, M and I struggled. We had good times and bad times. It slowly became obvious that it was never going to change. Amy had moved out for college, and although she came back home most weekends, it was still mainly just M and myself. What should have been some of the best times of our lives... just weren't. Instead of basking in all of life's accomplishments that we achieved and relishing the new free time we had to ourselves, we just seemed to grow farther and farther apart. Two separate lives sharing one home.

_The final straw was actually quite silly. After an uncelebrated 29_ th _anniversary, she asked if I just forgot or if I just didn't care. Her dog in the fight was a $4.00 card and a 50 cent bag of M &Ms. She asked if I wanted a divorce, and I actually said "no". I figured after all of this time we had invested, one more try would only be appropriate. She then said that everything didn't always have to be my decision. A couple days later, I came downstairs to make some breakfast. M had already gone to work, but I noticed some papers on the table. They were divorce papers. They weren't official papers, but the message came across loud and clear. I wasn't sure if she was just trying to get my attention, but I decided to call her bluff if that is what it was. I went and found an apartment that morning and moved out a week later._

We spent the next couple of months trying to talk things out. It was great for me to be out of the house and away from all of the things that influenced my feelings for her. It gave me a chance to be with her without the distraction of sharing a household with her. Could I fall in love with her again? Could we find some common ground to once again build on? As time went on, it became painfully clear that it just wasn't going to happen. Although we had spent over 30 years of our lives together, and she was the wonderful mother of my child, and I will always want nothing but the best for her, the bottom line was that I was not in love with her anymore. This realization hit me hard. I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to keep my promises and vows to her. "To love, honor, and cherish." I felt like a failure, but I knew it wasn't right to try and fake it either. That wouldn't be fair to either of us.

We decided to go ahead with the divorce process and it took almost a year to get everything done. We agreed to remain friends in the end because with Amy, our lives will always be entwined. There will weddings and grand babies, and funerals and who knows what else. There's no sense in letting any issues between us spoil the celebrations of life. I will always wish the best for her.

So as I continue this journey we call life, I often stop and ponder what this whole experience has meant. I wonder if it was to prepare me for something that is "just around the corner" or if it was just a test of my faith and character. Did I pass or did I fail? I don't know. Will Kathy and I eventually be together or is there another soul as beautiful as hers, that I have not yet found?

One of my favorite movies is "Fools Rush In" and there is a great conversation between Selma Hayek's character and her grandmother. The grandmother looks at her and tells her with all of the wisdom of her untold years... "To know love...You have to surrender to it."

I knew love with Kathy, and I surrendered my life to it, although it was only for a short time. The question now is... Will I ever find a love like that again?

### Taking KDVE to Hawaii...Day 17

Day 17 arrives and we are still entwined and spent. It was a wonderful night and a great ending to our stay here in Waikiki. It's actually almost 11am and we have a couple hours before check out time. We exchange kisses and "I love you" and start the process of getting ready and getting our stuff together as our flight is at 2pm.

With all of our bags packed, we head downstairs, check out, and load the car. We drive one last time through Waikiki, enjoying the sights of this unforgettable place. Breakfast at our favorite diner was awesome. At the airport and I drop you off at the inter-island terminal. We unload all of our bags and I return the car....no dents, no scratches...safe and sound. I arrive back at the terminal as you are reading a magazine you have picked up. We get our bags inside, and get checked in for our flight.

We make our way to the escalator that is used by the passengers riding the WikiWiki shuttle, who have arrived at the main terminal, and are transferring to inter-island flights. Our timing could not have been better. We only had to wait ten minutes or so, before up at the top of the escalator, we see Jessica, Tommie, and Amy, making their way down, with huge smiles on their faces! They have just arrived, and are joining us on our flight, as we return for a week on Kauai. Amy never turns down a chance to go to Hawaii, and agreed to chaperone Jessica and Tommie on their flight from the mainland.

As soon as they make it to the bottom, we all end up in a huge group hug. You are beside yourself, having never spent that much time away from them. You hug Tommie so hard I thought you might crack a rib. We quickly make our way to the gate where we have about an hour before departure. You are pulling gifts out of your carry on, and babbling a mile a minute....trying with everything in you, to describe all of the things you have seen and done on this trip. You are explaining to them how we are going to Lihue, Kauai, and there are these chickens all over the place. You tell them about Hilo Hattie's and the ABC Store. You tell them about how we will drive up the coast with the ocean, mountains, clouds, waterfalls, and rainbows. You tell them we will be driving around to the other side of the King Kong Mountain and how you can see waterfalls that look like they are coming out of the clouds. You will try and describe the greens, blues, browns, and reds. You will tell them about Princeville and Hanalei. You tell them about how you will teach them to snorkel and all of the fish and honus they will see. You will try and explain all of the different plants and flowers and all of the different colors and smells they have.

You explain to them all of the things they will get to do over the next week...but the most important thing you tell them about is going to sunset. After all of the adventures of a day... it's still the sunset that puts the finishing touches on it. Sunsets are God's way of making us remember the simple things in life are sometimes the best. A sunset can help soothe away all of the strife that a day may bring. Sitting and watching a sunset with someone you love, feeling their touch, hearing them breathe, feeling the warmth, is one of the most incredible experiences you can have. Teaching and showing them may not make a big impression on them now, but they will always remember it, and someday they will "get it". You don't have to be in paradise to enjoy a sunset. Sunsets are free and you can see one almost every day and anywhere. When life gets too complicated and you need to slow down...find that someone you love. Sit with them, have a glass of wine, and enjoy the simple beauty, warmth, and love of a sunset.....

# Chapter Eighteen

"I gotta tell you what I'm feelin' inside,

I could lie to myself, but it's true

There's no denying when I look in your eyes,

Girl I'm out of my head over you

I lived so long believin' all love is blind

But everything about you is tellin' me this time

It's Forever,

This time I know it, there's no doubt in my mind.

Forever,

Until my life is through,

Girl I'll be lovin' you Forever.

I hear the echo of a promise I made.

When you're strong you can stand on your own.

Those words grow distant as I look at your face

No, I don't wanna go it alone

I never thought I'd lay my heart on the line

But everything about you is tellin' me this time

It's Forever,

This time I know it, there's no doubt in my mind

Forever,

Until my life is through,

Girl I'll be lovin' you Forever

I see my future when I look in your eyes

It took your love to make my heart come alive

I lived my life believin' all love is blind

But everything about you is tellin' me this time

It's Forever..."

_"Forever" ~_ _KISS_ 16

Kathy:

Hi Mike,

It was good to hear from you.

I do not have a clue on where to begin with anything, as the last two years of my life have found me completely different than what I used to be. Scott and I are now divorced, it was a very bad break up, and I'm so thankful for the peace I have since known. Our divorce was final six months ago today. I've been dragged through a lot, but am beginning to look forward to the next chapter of my life.

I hope all is well with you. You may contact me anytime.....

Kathy.

* * *

The alarm goes off, and I reach over and hit the snooze. Just want to lie here a couple more minutes. It's going to be a long day, and I'm trying to gather the strength to get up and get started.

I finally climb out of bed. It's still dark... my place is quiet and uncluttered. Being single over the last year or so, I have found that there are a few advantages of living alone. I'm not a "neat-freak" by any means, but I do hate clutter. It's so time-consuming and emotionally draining. With only one person in the house, if things are out of place, I have no one to blame but myself. Cleaning house is not my favorite thing to do, but is one of life's necessary evils. I found long ago that if you remove the clutter, it saves you time and sweat when it comes to keeping things orderly. For years I lived praying that no one would call and say they were around the corner and going to stop by. I hardly ever felt comfortable inviting someone into my home. Now if you call... no problem. I pick the newspaper off of the floor, straighten the magazines on the coffee table, throw a few dishes in the empty dishwasher, and I'm good to go.

I make my way to the bathroom for a shower. I flip the light on, and look in the mirror for a couple seconds... wondering where all of the grey came from, and more importantly, where all of my hair went. The lines in my face are deeper now, and the "character" around my eyes shows some miles traveled. I say a quick prayer, thanking God for all that I have and to watch over my travels today.

I finish getting dressed, and head to the kitchen. I think about making something to eat, but decide to pick something up on the way. I pick up my wallet, my change, glasses, and put on my watch. I take one last sweep of the house, making sure everything is turned off and secure. I'm out the door and to my Jeep. In a matter of ten minutes or so, I have my breakfast and am on my way.

With the cruise set, I'm lost in thought about the coming events of the day and I guess I'm being a little reflective on life itself. I pass by landmarks that I've seen change with each passing trip that I have made through the years. They are all starting to show the march of time, and I kind of chuckle to myself, since they aren't the only ones, as I catch a quick glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror.

As I make my way down the interstate, I have my phone synced to the sound system, which I know will always provide me with a song I like... or at least liked at some point in my life. Music has always "spoken" to me on a very personal level. Being human, I know there are certain things that remind us of things or events in our life. For some it could be a quote, a sound, or maybe something we may see. For me it has always been songs and smells. The Fleetwood Mac, "Rumors" album has always reminded me of driving through the mountains of Colorado with my step-sister, Anna, on a family vacation in the late 70's. "Thunder and Lightning " by ELO, "Feel Your Love Tonight" by Van Halen, and "Walk this Way" by Aerosmith remind me of Debbie, Constance, and Carla... friends from junior high and high school. These songs, along with countless others... to many to mention... all take me back to the simpler times of my youth. The smells of plumeria and ginger always take me back to Hawaii and the smell of fresh cut lumber takes me back to helping my dad at the lumber yard when I was a kid.

With the music set on shuffle, the next one up is "Gimme That Girl" by Joe Nichols. This song immediately reminds me of Kathy, as this was one of the first songs she sent to me when we first reconnected years ago. As the song plays, I start to add up how many years it has been since we have last spoken. "What is it... 3 or 4 years now?" I think to myself. My mind starts to drift back to the events of so many years ago. I wonder how life eventually turned out for her. Did she and Scott make it? Was it wonderful, or was it a struggle? Are they still together? Was it worth it? How are Tommie and Jessica? Does she ever think of me? What are her feelings about me after all of these years? These and many other questions flood my mind as they have so many times through the years. I've done my best to honor Scott's request of me, when through her, I was asked to cease all contact. Since then, I've only sent a birthday card. I never mentioned anything about how things were in my marriage or my divorce. I never wanted to again be an influence, as she and Scott tried to rebuild their lives. I still hope that eventually I might receive a card, and email, or maybe even a phone call.

As a few more songs play, my mind eventually drifts off to another subject, and I am again released from the little, personal hell that I have created for myself.

Today I'm going to meet my two sisters in Dillon, TX and then we will continue on to Canyon City. It would have been my Dad's birthday, but instead we are going to check on his gravesite, and doing our yearly maintenance to the plot. It's one of life's ironies, how when he was alive, I could never find the time to make it down there. Now that he is gone, I've made numerous trips.

It's always fun traveling with my sisters. Whenever you get the three of us together, nothing is sacred. We are always laughing and cutting up, which makes for fun times, which I know, lots of families don't always have. We arrive at the cemetery, add new flowers, pull a few weeds, and sweep the dirt and dust from the curbing. We all kind of take our own time, "talking" to the piece of earth covering the resting place of our father. The "conversations" are usually sprinkled with some kind of joke which always elicits laughter from us. This confirms we are our father's children, since his humor never knew any boundaries.

Our yearly visit complete, we climb back into the car and turn on the A/C to combat the oppressive heat of early July in south Texas. The conversation quickly turns to ideas about what and where to go for lunch. Being a small town, there are really not that many choices, so we decide on Mexican food... imagine that... considering we are only about 45 miles from the border.

I exit the cemetery and drive a couple of blocks to the main street. I turn right and drive a couple more blocks, again making another right. I drive down the street to look once again at the home we built and lived in almost a half century ago. Whenever we are in town, I always have to go by and see it for some strange reason... remembering the brick, the yard, and the window that was once my room. After slowly driving past, I turn around at the end of the block and slowly pass by one last time. I again, make a right at the main street. I drive only a block, slow down and make another right at the next street, intently looking at the house on the corner... Kathy's old house. As I slowly drive past, I notice there is still no fence on this side of the yard, and I can see the old brick BBQ pit we used to play on so many years ago. It's showing its age but still standing. I stop the car and get out, noticing that there doesn't seem to be anyone home. I walk to the backyard and take a picture of it with my phone. I stand there looking at it for a few moments remembering this place were our lives first became entwined.

As I get back in the car, both of my sisters are looking at me, neither one of them knowing quite what to say. Finally my older sister says "Isn't this where the little blond girl you liked, used to live?" I said yes, and then she asks if I had ever known what happened to her. I tell her I did. I mention we re-connected for a short time a few years ago, but we have not spoken in a very long time. Nothing much else is said as we make our way to the restaurant.

After finishing lunch and as we're talking, my sister again presses me about the "little blond girl". She says from the look on my face, there obviously is more to it than I am sharing. I agree there is, but that it was all water under the bridge. She disagrees and says we are getting too old to have "unfinished business". She had lost her husband when she was in her early 50's and says never a day goes by that she wishes she would have said more things to him or done more things with him. She says it can eat on one's soul and fill your life with regrets. She likens it to reading an old book, only to find that someone has torn out the last chapter. You have invested all of this time and emotion, and now you will never know how it ends.

I do my best to contribute to the musings between my sisters as we drive back to Dillon. Unfortunately I am being "a little too quiet" as I contemplate the things my sister has said to me. They both have a good time taking shots at me to see whether or not I am paying attention. We arrive safely, say our goodbyes, and then I continue on alone for the last 2 hours or so of the trip. Deep in thought and replaying everything that has happened between Kathy and I over the course of our lives, I decide what it is that I have to do. Although it had been a long day, and the sun is casting its familiar orange glow on the horizon, I am getting my second wind.

With a click of the button, the door noisily rises up and I slowly pull into my garage. I grab my drive-through supper from the passenger seat and walk into my dark and quiet place. By memory I place the bag on the counter, make my way to the little stand by the front door, and empty my pockets...all before ever turning on the light. In my bedroom, I open the door to the closet kicking my shoes in the corner and depositing my shirt, socks and pants into the hamper. Searching through the dresser drawer, I find some comfortable board-shorts and a t-shirt then grab a seat at the table. I open my laptop and pressing the button, I bring the universe to my little corner of the world. I retrieve the bag from the kitchen counter and down a few fries as I wait for the computer to do its thing.

"Will I have more luck this time?" I silently wonder to myself.

A couple more fries and I'm finally pecking away at the keys hoping to find that which is lost. I search for Kathy, numerous different ways, not in a "stalker fashion" but in a way that hopefully I might be able to find where she is possibly working now. I still have her email, her phone, and her home address, but I have no intensions of sending anything that might be detrimental to her and Scott's rebuilding process that hopefully is still going on. One could argue that I shouldn't intrude into her life again at all, but there is closure in my heart that needs to happen if I ever want to have a chance of moving on. As it has always been... I just need to know that she is ok.

After a couple hours of fruitless searching, I finally douse the light coming from the rest of the world and close the laptop. I move to the couch and mindlessly continue to press the button on the remote that allows one to wander through the ridiculous amount of escapes provided by modern technology. My mind deep in thought about today's events, eventually succumbs to the tiredness of my body. After a half hour or so of nodding off, I quiet the noise and make my way to the bedroom. I pull the blankets back and kneel besides the bed, giving thanks and asking for forgiveness for my humanly shortcomings. While I have his attention (or he has mine as it may be) I ask for strength and direction in dealing with this which torments my heart. As I lay my head on the pillow, I welcome the quickness of my sleep knowing that a new dawn brings a new day and new beginnings.

_I slide into the soft black leather of my Jeep, getting ready to head to my office for meetings. The air is cool this morning, and the skies are bright and sunny... an unknown hint as to how my day would end up. I open the glove box to replace my expired insurance card, and again notice the white plastic bag which contains two birthday cards which I purchased for Kathy's 50_ th _birthday. These cards have been here for a couple of years now... I could never get myself to throw them away. My intensions were to send them to her work, but as her birthday approached, I went to her employer's website, only to find out that she was no longer part of their organization. So I thought I would hang onto them, hoping that at some point I would be able to find out where to send them. Every few months or so, I would Google her to see if something might pop up, letting me know where she was. Call it obsessive or whatever. I just wanted to send her the cards... which I thought were perfect... and let her know I still thought of her._

As I looked at them again, I finally decided that I had to move on, one way or the other, especially after striking out in my search last night. I would give it one last try today, and if nothing came up, I would toss these objects of my torment.

_Later that afternoon, having a few minutes to spare, I once again Googled Kathy. I tried a few different ways, usually ending up with the same "hits" as I had seen in the past. Changing things up a little, I noticed the list of "matches" seemed to be a little different. I scrolled down through the list, noticing that one of the links was to a Pinterist page. I clicked on it and the hair on the back of my neck kind of stood up. I suspected right away that this must be her page. Looking through the pinned quotes, pictures, and whatnot, it started to become clear to me that this_ _was_ _Kathy. There were pictures of merlot, rocking chairs on a back porch, a porch swing, beautiful quotes, and tons of other stuff that brought back so many memories. I spent the next 30 minutes or so going through all of these, sometimes smiling, sometimes laughing, and sometimes welling up as past feelings came flooding back._

After going through most of the pages, it started to occur to me that as cool and as fun as this was, it still didn't tell me what I needed to know. I still had no place to send the cards, nor was I about to email her and risk having Scott see it... causing big trouble.

Skimming through one last page, and getting ready to close the link, one particular quote kind of jumped out me and I had to read it a few times. It said,

"Nothing hurts worse than being disappointed by the single person you never thought would hurt you".

For some reason this quote really tugged at me, and as I read it again, and then read the others, it seemed like there was something more to this than I originally thought. Reading them again, looking at some of the pictures, I started to kind of "read between the lines". My heart started to race as I could sense something was not quite right in her world. The more I read, the more I was convinced that I was right, but now, what to do about it?

I decided I would throw caution to the wind, and send her a quick email. I figured I would get one of 3 responses. "It was good to hear from you", "fuck off", or maybe it would just go unanswered. If Scott happened to see it, I'm sure she could make him see it came unsolicited. With trembling fingers, I sent an email to the last address I had. Hitting "send", there were so many emotions running through my body. For the next few minutes, I was on pins and needles, as I waited for some kind of reply. As the minutes and hours passed, I heard nothing.

I'm lying on the couch, flipping through channels, trying to find something to watch to pass the time away. Nodding off as usual, I am brought back to life by the chime of an incoming email on my phone. I pick it up, only to see it was an email from Kathy! My heart immediately begins to race, as I quickly wonder what the email will say before opening it. I take a deep breath, open it, and read it.

"I was glad to hear from you", "my life is completely different now", and most importantly... for me... "You can contact me anytime" were the words that permeated my soul.

My heart was pounding as I lay there, slowly letting everything sink in. Over the next hour or so, we sent quick emails, as there were things I so wanted to tell and share with her, and was not about to let this opportunity slip by. She asked how things were with M to which I told her we were no longer together. I did not want to take the time to type it all out, so I decided to send her chapter 17 of this book... a manuscript that had been so much a part of my life for the last few years... something she had no clue even existed. I had to explain how the book actually came about and within a couple minutes, she asked for the rest to read. After sending it all to her, she said it would take her a little time to read and process it. Oh my God. What has just happened?

Over the next couple weeks, we exchanged numerous emails, trying to catch each other up on our lives, and trying to get some kind of footing on where things were with us. The book was a big help, because it explained everything that happened from the perspective of my eyes and heart. She was kind of at a loss for words. First she couldn't believe I had written it, and second it was a no holds barred look into my heart. Since I had to speculate on much of the stuff that I assumed had happened to her, she was anxious to tell her side of the story and set the record straight so to speak. She said it had been very tough for her and asked for my patience as she would slowly try and catch me up. She gave me the "35,000 foot view" over the next few weeks, saying it was really hard for her to talk about, much less write it down.

The communication between Kathy and I started to be more and more frequent as we started to get more and more comfortable again. There has always been this "something" between us, and we have always had this unmistakable bond or attraction. The numerous emails quickly turned into non-stop texting again. I just could not get enough interaction with her.

Through this whole process of us reconnecting yet again, we started to talk more and more about this book I had written and you are reading now. In her words... she was "speechless". She said she kept rereading the first few chapters, because it told the story of how I have felt about her for all of these years.

As we were texting one day, she asked if I was going to be busy on an upcoming Saturday, and if we could possible meet somewhere between our two cites. We still had only seen each other for a grand total of about 3hrs in the last 30 years, and we were both dying to finally have the time to sit and have a normal face to face conversation that would not have to be rushed.

We decided on the day and a quaint little bar and grill on the lake. As we both pulled into town, we parked my Jeep and continued to the lake in hers. This was perfect for me, since she looked amazing, and I did not have to worry about keeping my eyes on the road. It felt a little weird to be back in each other's presence after so long, but it did not take too long for us to get comfortable. She found a table close to the water, and I got us a couple glasses of cabernet. We laughed. We cried. We talked and talked.

As we both let our guards down and the cabernet started taking effect, she began a detailed account of everything she had gone through over the past few years.

"Scott told me that he found out about you and me, by me talking in my sleep one night. That was the summer ... July I believe. Once he began questioning me, I opened up about everything. We agreed at that time, to spend the next six months and start over. I was so hopeful all would be okay. We began going to counseling to try and salvage what we could. I had done as he asked, and cut all ties with you and some other friends at that point. During the counseling, it came out that he wanted to separate and date. I thought it was me he wanted to date... but I was mistaken. Although he said he would date me, he also wanted to date others. I had a really difficult time with this and he seemed to feel this was the only way he could ever get past what I had done. I felt extremely guilty, and he made me feel as though everything was my fault." Kathy's eyes started to well and her hands were shaking as she continued. "I felt more and more guilty...as you can imagine. I kept thinking if I could do just a little more, then things would be okay, and life would be as it was. Not great, but bearable. I moved out in September."

"We asked the therapist for guidance in how to tell the kids. When they were told, Scott did all of the talking. I was to sit beside him, touching him on the leg to show my support. The kids were in disbelief, mostly Jessica, as Tommie was not quite sure what was going on."

Listening to her story, my heart was breaking. I held her shaking hand and remained quiet. I could see her searching her thoughts and gathering herself as she again started to fill me in.

"Moving day finally came on September 15th. I remember lying in bed the night before...on Scott's chest... as he held me. I was crying and thinking this would be the last time I would ever lay there. I began moving out the next day, not getting much help from Scott. I had just moved everything into the new house about a year before, and here I was doing it again. It took me about two weeks or so of going back and forth between the two places to get my things. It was a difficult task, as I tried to go when there was no one there.

I had Tommie pretty much the whole time, but had difficulty getting Jessica to come with me. I moved into a two bedroom apartment, with the kids having to share a room. Scott was nice enough to buy me a few pieces of furniture, as he didn't want me taking much from the house as to not upset the kids. During all this, I completely felt that everything was my fault since that is what he continued to tell me."

The more I listened to her story, the more upset I was getting. It was all I could do to keep it to myself, as internally, I was getting more and more furious about the "bag of goods" she had been sold. I squeezed her hand and told her to take a little break to get herself together again. I made a quick trip to the bar and returned with a couple more glasses of cabernet. Kathy took her glass, and slowly took a sip as she kept her eyes locked to mine, then saying...

"I'm good now. Let me finish this. It gets better."

I kissed her hand and gently rubbed it. She took a deep breath and started again.

"He told me that he would pay a portion of my expenses, and that I was to handle everything else. That was another aspect to this that was hard since I was so used to not having to worry about money, or having to watch every little penny that was spent. There were times I worried about where my next meal was coming from, which pushed me further into the depths of the sea. I finally got to the point where I knew things could not get any worse, so I sought out an attorney. I went in with the hopes of getting some spousal assistance, but the more I talked, things became obvious to her that something else was going on. The next thing I knew, I was serving Scott with divorce papers."

At this point, a slight smile appears on her lips and I noticed a little gleam starting to show up in her eye. I wasn't sure what this about, but it didn't take long before she clued me in.

"Papers were served to him the Friday before Halloween. He was extremely angry with me as you can imagine. Things continued to get worse for the next couple of months or so since there were times that I didn't know how the rent was going to get paid, if I could put food on the table, or even if I would end up with the kids. All I could do was blame myself because I was still being led to believe it was all my fault. Everything changed in the middle of that next January. I had taken Tommie to school one morning, and by chance, drove by the old house. I turned down the street, and there was a strange car parked in front. I knew that at 7:30am, it could not be the cleaning lady. I took a picture of the car and the license plates before going by my attorney's office. You can imagine our surprise when the car belonged to a 28 year old girl. It turned out Scott had been seeing her for a little over a year. I had found some hotel receipts at one point, but didn't put the two together."

At this point of her story, I'm ready to jump up and dance on the table. I knew it! I knew it from the very beginning! I had suspected something was going on from very early on. Some of the things she would tell me he did or would say, just didn't seem right to me. It wasn't my place to prove to her that her husband was sleeping around. I guess one could argue that a friend's job is to protect each other and point these things out, but I just didn't feel it was my place under the circumstances. I would "nudge" her from time to time, but that was about it. In Kathy's defense, she was busy with her new home, the kids, and her volunteer work. On top of all that, this was her husband we were talking about. You generally give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.

"Hang on Sweetie. I'm almost finished," she said as she took another drink from her glass.

"It took me a while to get over the realization that he had been doing this all along. Shortly after that, I got a new cell phone and I didn't have a security code on it. Jessica was looking something up on it when she happened to see some of our texts and quickly discovered her father's secret. Well, again, that was my fault, as I didn't have a security code on my phone. I then got to sit through a counseling session of Scott ranting about how bad of a mother I was for letting his children in on his secret."

"The divorce was eventually final. I landed a better job and found a nice house to rent. That's probably about the time you lost track of me. I wouldn't call things easy now, but it's nice having room for the kids and having our lives resemble some sort of normalcy. Scott gets the kids one night a week and every other weekend. We don't live to far apart so they were able to remain in their schools and still are close to their friends."

"And as they say... the rest is history... until I got that email from you!"

"Oh my God Kathy. My heart is breaking after hearing all of that." I share. "I so wish I could have been there for you... just so you didn't have to feel alone."

"It's ok Honey. It's mostly behind me now and I'm a much stronger woman for it. I don't wish going through something like that on anyone though."

"So give me more juicy details about you and M."

I again tell her my story of the past 3 years or so. She asks some questions and do my very best to answer them. She asks how I'm feeling about everything now and if I am dealing with any regrets or guilt.

"Of course I will always have regrets," I confess. "As far as guilt... Yep... there is some of that too. It is only human to feel these emotions I suppose. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to live up to my vows and promises... but it does take "two to tango". I felt like I did the best I could for so many years, and then after that, I was just exhausted. It didn't seem fair to either me or her, so right or wrong, I opted for a new beginning."

At this point I looked up to find her green eyes staring into mine. It was a comfortable stare, one with no judgment or condemnation. A stare of understanding, love, friendship, compassion, and... tears. I took my hand, leaning across the table, I placed it on the side of her face and pulled her to me... placing my lips on hers. I kissed her gently, tasting the wine and tears as they were slowly running from her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto our warm lips. My heart was pounding! Releasing her lips, I slowly sat back down on the bench as I continued to watch her eyes as she softly opened them.

"So how are the kids?" I queried.

"They are wonderful," she barely answered through her laughter. "Trying to change the subject Sweetie?"

"Yeah... I figured I better. I sure is getting hot in here."

We spent the next fifteen minutes or so catching up on the kids. We shared countless pictures on our phone each trying to find one more adorable than the last. With our glasses empty yet again, I made my way to the bar to get another round and to order a basket of chips and queso. Returning to the table with my tray of goodies, I was met with a humorous observation.

"Chips, queso, and cabernet huh? Only in Texas I suppose," was Kathy's comment.

"Hey... Whatever works!" I countered. "How are your mom, Bob, and Doris?"

"They are all doing great Sweetie."

"I'm glad to hear that. I always wonder about them. They aren't getting any younger."

"I know. We always seem to think they will be here forever."

"So you never made it to Hawaii huh?" I ask, again changing the subject.

"No... After Scott found a couple of the stories in my email, he was not too fond of the idea of going there," she explains.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I can't believe he would do that. I can't imagine going through someone's personal stuff like that, even if it is my spouse... But that's just me," I comment in disgust. "We should go there! What's stopping us?"

"What's stopping us? Nothing I suppose... except I hear it is not the cheapest place to travel to," you reply.

"Money isn't an issue. I've still got my timeshare and I have enough frequent flyer miles to get us a ticket or two. I have enough flexibility to take a few days. What about you? Can you get away for a few days?"

"You're being serious aren't you?

"Absolutely!"

"You know... Jessica is off at school, and Scott could watch Tommie. I actually do have some vacation time left. That actually sounds kind of exciting. Seriously... You aren't yanking my chain are you?"

"No Babe. I'm not yanking your chain. I can get us a two bedroom condo in Princeville. I can cover the airline tickets, no problem. I don't have anyone to answer to, nor do you. I would very much enjoy spending some time with you. What's holding us back?"

"Holy crap! We're really going to do this huh? I'm starting to get VERY excited thinking about this! When can we go?" you ask.

"I'll start working on it as soon as I get back home. Just give me some dates that work for you and I will make it happen."

Kathy was all giddy now. The tears in her eyes have been replaced by a fiery excitement. We finish the wine along with the chips and queso as we make our plans. She shares that she hasn't had a big vacation in a number of years and is looking forward to taking some time for herself. She, like me, very much loves her children, but we are only human, so it is nice to get away by ourselves from time to time.

The sun slips closer and closer to the horizon, as we have been lost in conversation for the past two hours or so. We finally agree that it is time for us to leave since she needs to pick up Tommie who is staying at a friend's house. I hold her hand as we walk back to the car in the fading light of what has turned out to be a perfect afternoon.

As we stand by the car, I take her into my arms and kiss her with everything I have. She responds by wrapping her arms around me and kissing me in a fashion that is quickly having an effect on my knees. We spend the next 20-30 minutes in a very heated state, not caring who sees us. Eventually we get into the car and she drives me back to my Jeep. With one last long passionate kiss, we both start our long separate journeys home.

For the next few days, Kathy and I talk often as we make our plans to finally spend some time together in my favorite place in the whole world... Hawaii. The trip comes together nicely and before we know it, the day is almost upon us.

"Hi Honey. What time will you be home tomorrow?" I ask through the Bluetooth phone system in my Jeep.

"I should be home by six. What time do you plan on getting here?"

"I'll be there by then. We can get something to eat and then spend the rest of the evening visiting and taking care of any last minute things."

As I spent my evening packing, it was all I could do to keep my excitement in check. The thought of traveling to my favorite place in the whole world, and sharing it with my favorite woman in the whole world, was almost more than I could stand. I finished all of my last minute things, got a bite to eat, and then finally sat down on the couch with a beer, in hopes that it would calm me down enough so that I would be able to fall asleep. When I finally made my way to bed, I didn't bother setting an alarm since I really wouldn't have to leave until after lunch. One of life's greatest simple pleasures... Not having to wake up to an alarm.

I push the button and the lift gate on the Jeep slowly closes with my suitcase and carryon patiently waiting inside, ready to start this unbelievable adventure. I make one last pass through my place, and then climb into the soft leather seat and again push a button, summoning the engine to life. With everything set, I back out and start my journey north. As I merge onto the interstate, I hit the button, and give my verbal command to call Kathy's cell phone. Like magic, the hands-free system has her on the line within seconds.

"Hey Babe. I'm heading your way. The NAV says that I should be there in about 3 hours and 15 minutes."

"That sounds great Sweetie. I can hardly wait! I do have some good news and some bad news," she admits.

"Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good," I confess.

"What do you want first?

"At this point... I don't care. Your choice."

"OK then. The good news is that I'm so excited about this trip that everyone here at work can hardly stand me today! I'm bouncing off the walls!" she excitedly shares. "And the bad news is that I'm not going to be able to get off on time, so I won't be at home when you get there. Actually, I need to stop by a store and pick up a couple more things. What do you think about meeting me at a store instead?"

"That sounds fine to me. Just tell me what store."

"I'm not sure yet, but give me a few minutes and I will figure it out and text you."

"Okie dokey. I will be waiting... and driving."

After a few minutes, her text comes through and I plug my new destination into the NAV. With my new course plotted, my revised ETA is 2 hours and 35 minutes.

As I get close, I again call her and she tells me that she has just made it to the store. I'm about 15 minutes out and by the time I get there, she has a nice pile of blouses and skirts in her basket. She sees me as she turns the corner and then runs up to me giving me a big hug and a very sultry kiss.

"Hi Michael. How was your drive up?"

"It was good... but it's much better now. Wow, you feel good in my arms."

"Thank you Honey. I like being in them too!"

I give a quick glance to her shopping basket.

"You know they really do have stores in Hawaii, right? All you really need is a few essentials, and a few comfortable bras that don't poke... panties are optional," I suggest. We both start laughing and she says it's amazing how comfortable we still are together and how we can just pick up where we left off... even after so many years. Seems we've done it time and time again.

With her purchases in hand, we make our way to our cars and get everything loaded. Since it is getting close to supper time, I ask if she wants to get something to eat, or if she feels she needs to get home to start packing.

"Actually... I've been a big procrastinator. I haven't put a thing into a suitcase yet," she wryly confesses. "Maybe we can make something at the house while we visit and I pack."

We pull into her driveway, and I help her with her bags. She has a beautiful house in a very gracious neighborhood. She unlocks the door, leading me into her home, and telling me to place the things on the couch. I tell her to hang on while I get a few more things I need out of my car. As I come in with my suitcase, she leads me to "my room" as she is giving me a tour along the way. Her world is one that is very homey, but simple and uncluttered. As she takes me into the kitchen and dining area, I stop in my tracks, as my eyes start to well. Up on the wall, are the two crosses I had given her for her birthday years ago. She comes over, gives me a hug, and whispers, "Aww Sweetie. You see. I saw them and thought of you every day. You always remained in my thoughts and in my heart."

We finish the tour, and she decides it is time to start packing. She wants to wash the new items she bought, and asks if I needed anything washed too. She starts the laundry, and gets her suitcase out of the closet and lays it on the bed as she tells me stories of the past few years. As we talk, our stomachs are growling, so I offer to try and whip something up for supper as she continues to pack. I go into the kitchen and take a quick inventory of my options. Mac and cheese, some hamburger meat, noodles, spaghetti sauce, chicken breasts, alfredo sauce, some frozen veggies, and salad fixings. I decide on noodles with alfredo sauce topped with pan grilled chicken breasts. As I put the water on, and thaw the chicken in the microwave, I make my way over to the living room, and turn on the sound system. I plug in my phone, select "random", and I'm greeted with some classic KISS. As I continue to cook, she finally has to search out the origin of the yummy smells drifting through the house. She makes a wise-crack about what kind of wild music I am listening to when the next song to play is "Blindfold" from the old Bubble Bath CDs. I tell her I have always loved that music, so each time I got a new phone, I would just transfer it over. I explain that I listen to it often, and yes... it always reminds me of her. With that, I change the playlist to "Bubble Bath" and after so many years, we finally are able to listen to the music together.

As I am cooking, I can't help but notice the grin on her face. She watches intently as I cook and clean as I go. She reminds me that she always wanted to watch me cook and clean for her, and I remind her that I always wanted to see her, barefooted in the kitchen, working her magic. With that, she shows me her bare feet as she stands there preparing the salads. As I look around, I find a bottle of merlot, that I open and pour us each a glass. We sip the wine, listen to the music, as we talk about what may lie in store over the next few days.

The buzzer on the washer goes off, and she exits to transfer the clothes to the dryer. I set the table and make our plates. As she walks back in, she is carrying a card in her hand. As she draws closer, I can tell the handwriting on the front is mine. She hands it to me, and I realize it is one of the birthday cards I had given her in the little diner. I open the card, and inside is written, "On this day, my best friend was born...."

I can't finish reading it as emotions begin to wash over me. I remember the card being so powerful in the words it contained, saying exactly what I was feeling at the time and so wanted to tell her. She tells me she has kept it because of the things I had said in it, and that she would go back and read it from time to time.

"Oh Babe. That reminds me! I've got something to show you and you won't believe it!" I shout, barely containing my excitement. With that I run to my room and reach into the side pocket of my suitcase. I pull out 6 envelopes, and take them to her. "Check these out!"

She looks at the envelopes and recognizes the handwriting is hers. Then it hits her. These are the letters we wrote to each other thirty years ago.

"Where did you find these?" she exclaims.

I explain that my mom had decided to sell the house I grew up in. She asked that I go through the things still left in my old room. As I was going through an old box, I came across the letters. I couldn't believe it either. When I sat down to read them, it was like going back in time. Although I could not tell you what was in them, as I started to read them, the "conversations" came back like they were yesterday. Kathy took a few minutes to read a couple of them, which then reminded her of stories from those days which she shared with me. One story led to another and before we knew it, thirty minutes had already slipped by.

While listening to her stories, I had been trying to keep supper warm without burning it. She was on a roll and I didn't want her to stop. I was having a wonderful time listening to the "old days". When I felt she had reached a stopping point, I suggested we sit down and eat.

Having a quiet supper in her home, just the two of us, is more than I could have ever imagined. I keep pinching myself to make sure this isn't a dream.

We finish eating as the buzzer on the dryer sounds off and she runs to get the clothes before they wrinkle. I clean off the table and finish cleaning up the kitchen. We continue our evening long conversation as we get our stuff together for tomorrow's trip.

I notice the piano in the family room, and ask if she still plays. She jokingly admits, "If that is what you call it," and confesses she has been meaning to spend more time brushing up on some of her old favorites. With a little coaxing, I get her to sit down and play a couple beautiful melodies. I sit on the bench beside her, and sip my wine as I get lost in the intoxicating sounds coming from her fingertips. I remind her she still owes me the song "Blindfold", and I will only accept it by candlelight and black lace. She smiles and promises "Don't worry... I haven't forgotten."

It is getting late and we will have to leave the house a little after 4am. We decide the pumpkin hour is rapidly approaching and it's time to turn in. With a hug and a kiss, I make my way to my room, and lay on the bed to check email. This evening has been so perfect. It's been a long day and as tired as I am, it still takes all of my strength to calm my thoughts so that I can finally fall asleep.

The alarm on my phone wakes me up and as I lay there and listen, I hear noises coming from the other room. Excitedly I hop out of bed and head for the bathroom. I finish my shower, get dressed, get my stuff packed up, make the bed, and reach for the door knob. I take another deep breath to help control my excitement, open the door and walk toward the living room. There by the front door, her bags are lined up ready to go. She comes around the corner, gives me a hug and a kiss... then chirps "Good morning Baby. I was going to knock on your door, but I heard you were already in the shower, so I didn't. Do you want to make some breakfast here or wait until we get to the airport?"

What a beautiful way to start my day! My heart nearly leaps from my chest....

# Hawaii... Finally

You are my "GPS" as we make our way to the airport. You have lived here for many years and knows which roads to take and which intersections to avoid. As we are driving, I keep pinching myself to make sure this is not some kind of a dream that I have not yet waken up from. You are starting to get excited and are asking me endless questions about what we are going to do, where are we going to stay, how long will it take to get there, and on and on. I finally look at you with a big smile on my face and you stop and say, "I'm babbling aren't I? ... Well... You know me!"

"Yes, Honey... I do. Babble away," I say.

We make it to the airport, park, and grab our bags to wait for the shuttle. Check in and security is a breeze. We have a little over an hour before boarding, so we begin our search for some breakfast. We find a place that is serving pancakes, so we figure it can't get much more perfect. We finally have a few minutes to relax while we are eating and I mention how beautiful you are in your new sundress. It is navy blue, with yellow hibiscus and deep red ginger in the print, along with lots of green tea leaves. It is a perfect complement to your hair and the tone of your skin. I hold your hand across the table and tell you how I have to keep pinching myself, and how excited I am about the upcoming days.

The boarding call for our flight comes over the intercom and we make our way to the gate. We have first class seats, so we get to board in the first group. First class seats to Hawaii are not a casual purchase, but I figure that after all of this time, it is worth it. Although we have a connection in San Francisco, it's a long flight, and we are not as young as we used to be. We will probably welcome the chance to get up and walk, when we have to change planes.

The flight is uneventful as we continue to talk and catch up. The food is excellent along with the service. The extra wide seats make the trip enormously more comfortable than my many trips of the past.

As the pilot pulls the throttles back to idle, and we start our decent, the excitement is starting to build. We are still a hundred miles and about thirty minutes or so from Lihue, but our frame of mind is already on "island time". It has been a few years since I have been here last, and like always, I am excited to see my favorite place in the whole world again. We are seated on the left side of the aircraft, and I give you the window seat. At this point as we were coming down through the last layer of clouds, all you can see is the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean. You make a comment about how blue the water is compared to the murky brown/green of the Texas coast. As the plane turns onto its final approach, the Garden Isle of Kauai finally comes into view. The vibrant greens and reds of the mountains, contrasted by the deep blues of the water, and the black lava rocks of the coastline, make for a spectacular sight. Nearing touchdown, you see Lihue, and the beautiful grounds of the resorts on the south side of the city, nestled around the harbor.

Parked at the gate, we grab our carry-ons and make our way up the jetway and through the boarding area. As you leave this area, you go through a set of automatic doors and then you are basically outside. With the exception of the gate areas, the airport is open-air. The ticket counters, and baggage claim area, are covered, but open, so the cool island breezes can come through. We find our bags, make our way across the street, and board the bus to the car rental lots. Paperwork done, we are directed to the row of cars we have to choose from. You select a beautiful blue one. We load our bags, and exit the airport on our way to Hilo Hatties.

Upon entering, each guest is presented with a shell lei and fruit punch. As we sip our punch, I tell you that I have made good on my promise of getting you leid within an hour of us arriving in Hawaii. You giggle at my comment and playfully punch me in the ribs. When you turn the corner and enter the heart of the store, you know you are really going to like this place. The store has lots of different island wear and plenty of other souvenir type items. We stroll through the store looking through all of the racks, finding shirts, dresses, sarongs, beach towels, and sandals. With the damage done, we haul our stuff to the car, and start on our journey to the North Shore.

With the top down and the wind blowing through the car, we drive north along the Coconut Coast, marveling at the lush vegetation, blue skies, red dirt, and the amazingly blue ocean. I sync my phone to the stereo in the car, (got to love technology) and we listen to the music I had put together years ago as we make our way through Wailua and into Kapaa'. Once there, we stop at the Kauai Village Market and I take you into your first ABC Store. These stores are like a convenience store and souvenir shop all rolled into one. They have all things Hawaii, and are very reasonable price-wise. You find some wooden bracelets and matching necklaces, a big floppy hat and I cannot pass up a couple boxes of chocolate covered macadamia nuts.

Before climbing into the car, I reach in my suitcase and produced a brand new yellow rubber ducky. "Mikey Jr." was up to the task and I put him on the dash, eyes down the road.

"Oh my God. He's so cute! I can't believe we have a new Mikey!" you exclaim.

"What is a trip to Hawaii without Mikey leading the way?" I add.

Pulling out of the parking lot, we drive through McDonalds to get a couple large diet Dr Peppers. Snacking on the chocolate, drinking the diet DPs, and listening to our music, we cruise out of town heading north along the coast. Approaching Kealia, we pull off the road at a lookout, where you can see from Anohola in one direction, all of the way back to Kapaa' in the other. With the elevation of the lookout, it makes for a gorgeous view of the eastern coast of the island. As we stand there, holding each other, watching the blue and white waves crashing against the dark black lava rocks, your cell phone rings. It is Jessica returning your call. You tell her we arrived safely and that you will check in from time to time. At the same time, I too call and let Amy know that our travels have been safe .

Our phone calls now done, we climb back into the car to continue our journey to the north shore and Princeville. Leaving Kealia, we are now traveling through rural Kauai at its best. Small farms and fruit orchards dot the landscape along the highway. We start a small climb through the up country and around Anohola Mountain, the one that looks like King Kong lying down. A few more miles down the road, we pass through Kilauea, and then turn west as we make our way along the north shore. The scenery is noticeably more jungle like in nature and you can see the Bali Hai in the distance. Passing the Princeville Airport and the Prince Golf Course, we arrive at the entrance to the Princeville Resort. Turning right, we drive slowly around the beautiful fountains and then down toward the coast, meandering through the numerous resort properties and golf courses. A quick stop at the main office and we have our keys and are just a couple minutes from our cottage. As we pull up, you are amazed that it is like our own little house. We have our own little parking lot, and do not have to share it or our residence with anyone. Grabbing the keys you make a dash for the front door, too excited to wait for me. Entering, all I hear is "Oh my God! This place is awesome!" With me finally there, we both walk into the spacious living room which has vaulted ceilings. Next the dining room and then the kitchen as I place a couple of the bags I am carrying on the counter. There are two bedrooms and two baths, each off opposite sides of the living room. The first one we go into is obviously the master, with the bathroom having a large marble tub, perfect for a relaxing bubble bath.

"This is obviously your room, now I'm going to go check out mine," I suggest.

The other bedroom is equal in size with the bath having a large stone tiled shower for two, which has shower heads on both ends... one can only imagine the fun.

We finish unloading the car and unpacking our things. It is getting later in the evening and we do not want to miss our first sunset in this paradise on earth. We figure an intimate picnic on the beach, while toasting the sunset, would be a fitting end to our day. Finding a small ice chest in the closet along with straw beach mats, we start collecting things to take. We pack our new beach towels, a couple wine glasses, a cork screw, and some paper towels. After loading the car, we drive back up to the main highway, where the Princeville Center is located. There is a small grocery store in the shopping center, where we purchase finger foods, like cheese, crackers, summer sausage, some fruit, and a nice bottle of blush wine.

We head further west down the highway, through Hanalei, and on past the three one lane bridges to mile marker 8 and Tunnels Beach. We gather our picnic stuff and make our way to beach, spreading out the mats and covering them with the beach towels. There are only a handful of other people on this wide beach, so you have a feeling of having it all to yourself. The views of the Bali Hai with the golden cast from the setting sun are breathtaking. We snack on the fruit, as we sip wine with our cheese and crackers. The gentle breezes are perfectly cool, and the crashing waves make a wonderful soundtrack to this unbelievable place. We sit close as we watch the sun slowly make its way to the horizon, and toast each other as it finally touches the sea. I hold your hand and then kiss it as I slowly move in for a soft kiss on the lips. You sit quietly and then say that after so many years of imagining this, and so many stories describing this, there is no way to put this experience into words. I agree and we both sit silently watching the sun gently slip below the horizon.

After packing up, we walk back to the car not saying much. The drive back to Princeville is kind of quiet as well, as we are both starting to feel the effects of the long day and the emotional drain of the last 24 hours.

Pouring the last of the wine into our glasses, you rummage around in your purse and produces a black marker.

"When you have a young kid, you always come prepared," you laugh.

Taking the marker, you decorate and inscribe a message on the white label of the bottle. Holding the bottle out at arm's length, you admire your handy-work while showing me. You place the bottle on the counter by the phone and then come back over, picking up your wine glass. We toast each other, share a warm and soft kiss, then agree that the pumpkin hour is again approaching, and it's time to turn in. With the time difference and the fact we didn't sleep much the previous night, it is quickly taking its toll. I give you a hug, another kiss, and we say our "goodnights". We head to our rooms to get ready for bed. I take a quick shower, and sit on the bed in my boxers, to do a last minute check of my emails. I can hear her finishing up her bath as I am reading a few news stories on my phone.

A couple moments later, I hear a knock on my door.

"It's open," I say.

You enter, taking a couple steps inside, standing there in an ankle length, black lace negligee that takes my breath away. I stand up and walk over to you. You take my hands, and look me in the eyes, explaining that even though you are terribly exhausted, there something to say that cannot wait.

"Michael. I love you. You have always had a special place in my heart, and I won't ever try and understand why it seemed that timing was never right for us. You are the most kind and gentle man I have ever known. You have always made me feel so unbelievably special, and have given me more strength than you will ever know. I don't know why God would have blessed me with the kind of love I have always received from you, but if you still want me... I am yours...Always and forever."

Your words move through my heart and soul filling me with a feeling of love I have never known. I take you in my arms, press my lips to yours, kissing you long and passionately. I then hold you in my arms feeling your warmth and every breath you take. I pull back, look into the eyes of what I have known for so many years to be my destiny and say...

"Kathy... I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you so many, many, years ago. You are everything to me and the reason it makes taking every breath worthwhile. I too do not know why the timing has never seemed to be right, but I never gave up hope of one day being the most important part of your life. You complete my soul in so many ways and I love who I am, when I am with you. Yes... I do want you...I have always wanted you. I love you with every ounce of my being."

Tears are running down your face as you takes me by the hand and lead me to your room and finally... into your world. We stand face to face, looking into each others eyes. I brush your hair aside and kiss you with every ounce of love that I have for you. I lay you on the bed and move beside you, again locked in a deep passionate kiss. I slowly straddle your body, and slowly kiss your neck and ears, before moving down to your breasts. I slowly slide the straps of your negligee off your shoulders and begin kissing your bare skin. Your shoulders, neck, ears, nipples... all flush in reaction to my hot breath, wet kisses, and the roughness of my two-day beard. You wriggle under my weight as you power through the exquisite sensations flowing through your body. Releasing you from the wonderful torture of my lips, I slide down and kneel between your legs. The moans become louder and louder as I reach under the black lace and gently remove your drenched panties. Using my fingertips, I slowly stroke up and down the insides of your thighs before teasingly brushing against your favorite spot. Frantically you thrust your hips toward my tantalizing touch, desperately seeking relief. I finally relent to your begging by placing the palm of my hand against your hot engorged wetness. You respond by grinding herself hungrily against my hand as your fingers expertly knead your breasts and pull at the pinkness of your hardened nipples. Harder and harder you buck against my touch, getting closer and closer to your release. Sensing this, I remove my hand to your repeated protests, and I slide farther down until I'm lying fast first at the door to your world. I slowly run my tongue up the inside of your thigh, across your heat, and down the other thigh. You desperately grab my head, trying to put yourself out of misery against my mouth.

"Michael please!"

Releasing your grip on me, you use your hands to open yourself to me. I dip my tongue into you, tasting the sweetness that is only you, before sliding it up to the hardened apex of your love. I gently suck the button between my teeth as you gutturally voice your approval. Slowly I slip two fingers inside and rhythmically stroke as I continue my oral assault. With one last cry, your body starts its delicious convulsing... flooding my tongue with each pounding contraction. One after another they continue until you can't take it any longer.

"Stop! Stop! No more! Oh my God. Don't move. Let me ride this out."

I gently remove my fingers as I lovingly bathe your womanhood with my tongue, before sliding my body up along yours. Eventually your breathing finally slows as I hold you close while you bask in the utopia flowing through her body. You snuggle up against me like you can't get your body close enough to mine.

"Wow Honey. I don't know what to say. I so needed that," you whisper.

"Glad I could help. There are plenty more where that came from," I laugh.

You turn yourself towards me and I relish the feeling of your head resting on my chest. Spreading a few kisses across my heart I then pull you close as we nod off and on for the next few minutes.

With your composure back, we start on round two as you climbs on top of me. Your hair is falling all around your face above me, as you feed your breasts to me while rubbing against me quickly and with purpose. You alternate feeding me your nipples, your lips and your tongue. First the right one, then the left one, and then you kiss me deeply, running your tongue along my lips before hungrily thrusting it into my mouth. Your hips continue their mission of quickly and purposefully grinding your sex against me. Beautiful blond strands tickle my face as you continue alternately feeding me your body. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what her body needs and makes no apologies about getting it. Faster and faster you grind and then rise up, steadying yourself with your hands on my chest.

"Oh... Here it is," you declare.

You dig your nails into my chest while your orgasm crashes through your body. The rhythm of your hips slow as you slowly spiral down from the heights of ecstasy. Beads of sweat have now formed on your forehead, cheeks, and your chest. Your face is red with the glow of womanly pleasure. You take her hand and throw the hair from your face and lean back and fan yourself.

"Wow Babe. Time for the ceiling fan I think," you offers.

You slowly roll off me and lie back on the bed with your arms spread out. I slip out of bed and flip the switch to the fan before depositing my boxers on the floor. I again kneel between your legs, steadying myself on one hand while sliding your nightgown up with the other. You draw your knees up around me, and then cup my face with your hands. You pull me to her mouth, your tongue sending shivers through my body as it traces lazy circles on my lips. You raise your body to meet mine as I effortlessly ease into you, our bodies fitting together like they were meant for each other. Hugging me close you run your nails along my back almost sending me out of my mind. Engulfed in your wonderful softness, it's taking everything I have to make this moment last. Decades are culminating in this moment, and I want to revel in it as long as possible. I again rise up on one hand using the other to run my fingers lightly up and down the back of your thigh. You run her hands along my chest, flicking nails across my nipples. Pulling my face to yours again, you plunge your tongue into my mouth. Your hips thrust against me as your body greedily pulls at my release. You pull me close as I can no longer hold off the inevitable, and begin to flood her body with the pleasure that dreams are made of. Wave after wave races through my being as you wrap your legs around me, pulling me deeper and deeper into your soul. I bury my face into your neck as I take in the most wondrous smell of them all... You.

I slowly untangle myself from you and now it is my turn to lie back on the bed... arms outstretched. The fan is doing its best to keep up with our heat, and now that we are both spent, it might have a chance to catch up. You roll onto your side facing me, and slowly run your hands along my chest.

"I love you Michael."

"I love you more!"

You lean in and kiss me as we relax on the cool sheets. You take my arm and place it over you as you turn and place your back against me. You place my hand on your breast and snuggle up as close as you can possible get to me, the warmth of your body radiating against mine.

"Good night my Love.

"Sweet dreams Kathy."

My head is swimming with the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, and bouquet of the perfume on your neck. I can hear your heartbeat, and feel your every breath. Before falling asleep, my heart is still pounding with all of the love I have for you. Slowly closing my eyes, a big smile comes across my face, as I think about what you wrote on the empty bottle of wine...

"Mike and Kathy... 46 years and counting..."

### THE BEGINNING...

# Credits

1 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

All rights reserved. Property of Fox.

2 **Original Release Date:** June 24, 2008, **Release Date:** June 24, 2008, **Label:** MCA Nashville, **Copyright:** © 2008 MCA Nashville

3 Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, MIKE CURB MUSIC - Writer: WOOTEN, BRIAN JAMES / HARTMAN, BOB / ELEFANTE, JOHN

4 Writer(s): Gary Eugene Scruggs Copyright: Irving Music Inc.

5 © The Envy, Universal Music Canada

6 Recorded by Tanya Tucker

Written by Amanda Hunt-Taylor and Charles Harmon Jones

7 **Songwriters** Stanley Eisen, **Published by** IMMACULATE MUSIC LTD;SONY/ATV TUNES LLC

10 © The Envy, Universal Music Canada

11 **Songwriters** STEGALL, ROBERT KEITH / HILL, DANIEL GRAFTON, **Published by** Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

12 **Songwriters** LOGGINS, DAVID **Published by** Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

13 Writer(s): Paul Rodgers Copyright: Badco Music Inc., WB Music Corp.

14 Writer(s): Martin H. Frederiksen, Keith Nelson, Joshua Todd Copyright: Cash And Carry Music, Round Hill Works, Sienna Sienna Songs, Lick The Star Music, WB Music Corp.

15 **Songwriters** CHILD, DESMOND / CARLSSON, ANDREAS MICHAEL / STANLEY, PAUL **Published by** Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

16 Writer(s): Matthew Shafer, R. J. Ritchie, Brian Kennedy Seals, Paul Stanley, Andre Darrell Merritt, Jamal F. Jones, Christopher Maurice Brown Copyright: My Diet Starts Tomorrow Inc., Mr. Bolton'S Music, Ms. Lynn Publishing, Songs Of Universal Inc., Stanley World Ltd., Hori Prod. America Inc., Culture Beyond Ur Experience Publishing, Gaje Music Inc., Universal Music Corp., Thirty Two Mile Music, Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., B Uneek Songs

