 
# XOLI'S RELUCTANT GROOM

#  By

# Thabi Majabula

# Published by Thabi Majabula at Smashwords

# Copyright 2012 Thabi Majabula

# Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed, this book, please encourage yourfriends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com. Thank you for your support.

This is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

#

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

EPILOGUE

GLOSSARY

OTHER BOOKS BY THABI MAJABULA

# CHAPTER ONE

Xola stilled on hearing a throat being cleared. Please let it not be Msimang, she prayed as she turned to see who it was. Msimang was standing at her office door, looking directly at her, with clear disapproval.

"This is not what it looks like," she said. She felt stupid and guilty for saying something that inadequate. Mark kissed her cheek. She pushed him in irritation. He laughed, took his arms from round her and left her office.

Xola was mortified. Msimang had not wanted her on his account. He had wanted someone older, more professional, more experienced, someone male. Mark had just succeeded in making him keener to take his account somewhere else. I have to think fast and say something, thought Xola. No words came to her.

She watched Msimang come into her office. At six foot two, and built big, he looked very daunting. She felt tiny standing before him, regardless of the fact that she was five foot ten, and voluptuously built. His handsome square face was marred by disapproval and disgust. Xola looked at his mouth. She had always wondered how his kisses would taste. He had full lips that simply begged a woman to kiss them. He opened his mouth, she licked her lips.

"Is this the way you conduct business? Let me assure you now that I expect to get every single cent's worth of my money, and I won't be joining your stable of lovers to cement the deal," he said icily in his deep, gravelly voice. Xola's fantasy about kissing him flew out of the window as she gasped in horror at his words.

"If this account is beyond your capabilities, kindly let me know," he continued.

"I have it under control, I can..." she said. He threw a file on her desk and turned on his heel. Xola fell back into her chair, closed her eyes and cursed.

"That better not be the language I hear when you give me feedback in twenty minutes," said Msimang. Xola opened her eyes in horror.

"You're not supposed to be here!" she gasped.

"Twenty minutes, Ms Mkhize," he said, then he left. Xola wanted to weep. The feedback presentation was supposed to be in forty-eight hours. Her notes were disorganised, and with her PA, Nikiwe off sick, there was no way she would have everything ready in fifteen minutes.

Quickly, she gathered the most pertinent facts on the project, praying that she would remember the minor details if she was called upon to do so. She rushed to the boardroom with two minutes to spare. The boardroom was empty. Her cell phone rang.

"Where are you?" demanded Jake.

"In the boardroom," said Xola.

"What are you doing there? The Msimangs are waiting for you in my office," said Jake curtly, then he cut the call. How was I supposed to know that, Xola asked herself as she made her way to his office. She found him with Msimang and his father. She greeted Msimang snr and set up her computer.

"How's it going, ntombazana?" he asked.

"Very well, everything..." she said.

"We need proof, not words," interrupted Msimang.

"Of course," said Xola. She started her briefing and presented invoices and photos of the project to show how well everything was going.

"Well done, I didn't think you could do this, but Jacob swore by all his ancestors that you were the best," said Msimang snr. Xola smiled and glanced at Msimang. He was frowning at her.

"Any further questions?" she asked. He did not deign to reply. Xola asked Msimang snr if he had questions.

"I'm very happy, MaMkhize. Keep up the good work," he said, then he and his son left.

"You know how to rub Ike the wrong way," said Jake.

"I don't mean to. I'd never want to make a client mad," sighed Xola.

"You impressed Msimang snr, but Ike still has reservations about you. He was impressed by your presentation, but there's still something not right about his attitude towards you. Keep doing your work and try not to antagonise him any further."

Xola drove home despondently. Mpho and Carol were coming to dine with her. She and Carol had planned to cheer Mpho, who had been dumped by her fiancé. Xola wanted to cancel, but the girls were on their way. She ordered pizza, then she showered and dressed in her pyjamas and dressing gown. She was making coffee when there was a knock on the front door. She let the girls in and hugged them.

"I'm starving and I don't smell food," said Carol.

"I ordered pizza," said Xola.

"I suppose that's better than nothing. So, what's making you so miserable?"

"Msimang and Mark."

"What did they do?"

"You know Mark's always flirting with me."

"Yes."

"Today, he put his arms round me and Msimang found us. I was trying to push Mark off, but from Msimang's face, you'd have thought Mark and I had been in the process of taking our clothes off."

"So what?"

"She likes him, she doesn't want him thinking she has a man," said Mpho.

"I do not like him!" gasped Xola.

"Of course you do. You're always talking about him and it's only his bad attitude that upsets you. The world could collapse and you'd remain cheerful, but if Msimang so much as frowns in your direction, you want to kill yourself."

"I'm not that bad. How are you doing, Mpho?"

"I'm tired of talking about me. Tell us more about you and your Msimang."

"He wishes I'd disappear."

"And that makes you sad?"

"Yes. No! No. What he thinks and feels has nothing to do with me." There was a knock on the door. Xola went to receive and pay for the pizza. She and her friends took it to the kitchen, it was cosier, and everything was within reach. They shared the pizza, opened their drinks and started eating.

"Tom came to see me," said Mpho.

"Why?" asked Xola and Carol.

"He wants us to have an affair behind his new woman's back."

"You must be joking!" said Carol.

"What did you say?" asked Xola.

"What could I say?" returned Mpho. Carol and Xola looked at each other, then at Mpho. She was running a finger round the rim of her glass.

"I'm going home tomorrow. I've taken a month's leave. Hopefully, I'll clear my head and get over..." said Mpho. Sobs prevented her from finishing her sentence. Carol put an arm round her, she threw it off and ran to the bathroom. Xola and Carol ran after her. She locked the door. They could hear her sobbing piteously.

"Mpho, Mpho, Mpho, open the door," said Xola. Mpho did not respond. Xola and Carol returned to the kitchen. They cleared away the food and sat waiting for Mpho. She joined them a while later. Xola opened her mouth to say something.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Mpho. Xola and Carol nodded.

"Is there a chance that Msimang likes you as much as you like him?" asked Mpho.

"Not that again!" said Xola.

"What exactly did he say?"

"He said he expects me to do my job and won't sleep with me to motivate me."

"He did not say that, Xola!" gasped Carol.

"He did."

"He likes you," said Mpho.

"He does not!"

"He was jealous."

"He was not!"

"Then why did he think of you and a bed in the office? He must have been fantasizing about you."

"Mpho!"

"Admit you like him."

"I do not!"

"Not even a little bit?"

"Maybe."

"Carol, how's your love life?"

"Don't mention that subject to me. I'm through with men," said Carol.

"You say that every three months, then a week later, you have another man."

"This time, I'm serious."

"What did your latest do wrong?"

"He was married."

"Did you know that when you started dating him?"

"No! How can you even ask me that? I don't do married men. Sies!"

"Sorry."

"We need to go out to a holiday resort, just the three of us, before any of us finds a man," said Xola.

"It has to be in the next few days, you know Carol will have a new man this time next week," said Mpho.

"If I can get us a booking this coming weekend, will you postpone your trip home, Mpho?"

"You won't get a booking," said Carol.

"Wait and see," said Xola.

The following day, Xola accepted the offer made by one of her clients for an all-expenses paid weekend at a holiday resort. When she phoned Carol and Mpho to tell them, they were very impressed. When Xola returned home from work, she found Mpho on her doorstep.

"Can I stay with you? I don't want to be in my house. I keep expecting Tom to arrive," said Mpho.

"Of course you can stay," said Xola. Next day, she returned home from work at lunch time and found Mpho crying. Mpho pulled herself together quickly.

"We're going to pick Carol up, then we'll go on our retreat," said Xola.

"Oh," Mpho said unenthusiastically. She was quiet all the way to the resort. She only spoke when she saw the resort. It was beautiful, and she was able to express her appreciation. The friends checked in, then they were led to their chalet. They unpacked their belongings, then they freshened up and ate. Afterwards, they lay on the couches in the lounge, having decided to mellow out using candle light.

"I hoped Tom and I would get married. We've been engaged for two years, and we dated for three years before that. We were members of each other's families. We were to get married tomorrow! What kind of man spends so many years with a woman and leaves a month before the wedding? I was sitting in your house, Xola, wondering how long he's been cheating on me. What's wrong with me? Why do men leave me?" asked Mpho.

"There's nothing wrong with you, this is a reflection on him, not on you," said Xola.

"It must say something about me. Thokozani left me just after we got engaged, and Tom left just before the wedding. They both had someone even before leaving me. I'm all alone again. I thought my days of being alone were in the past."

"It's only been a month, Mpho," said Carol.

"You find men in a week, why can't I do the same?" They were all quiet for a while, then Mpho changed the subject.

The following day, they were treated to massages, pedicures, manicures and other body treatments.

"After all this, I hope we're going out. I can't look and feel this good and not be seen," said Carol.

"There's a club nearby, we can go there," said Xola. Carol convinced Mpho, and they prepared for their outing.

At the club, Carol spent most of the time on the dance floor, sometimes alone, sometimes with various partners. Xola coaxed Mpho into dancing. She was pleased when Mpho agreed to dance with other people. Xola tired and stood on the sidelines, watching.

Someone touched her elbow and she turned to see who it was. Her heart thumped hard. Msimang was looking at her. He inclined his head slightly and left. Xola followed him. She found him waiting for her outside.

"Ms Mkhize," he said.

"Hello, Mr Msimang," she said.

"Are you alone?"

"I'm with friends."

"I'll leave you to it."

"Xola?" said Mpho. Xola noticed her and Carol a few paces behind her.

"Mr Msimang, these are my friends, Mpho, and Carol," she said.

"Oh!" said Carol and Mpho, studying him closely. Msimang shook their hands.

"Call me Ike, please. Are you ladies with anyone else?" he asked Mpho.

"No, we're alone," said Carol.

"Can I offer you dinner?" Xola gaped at him.

"That would be lovely," said Carol.

"We don't want to put you out," said Xola.

"It's no trouble. I hope I'm not interrupting," said Msimang.

"Not at all," said Carol.

"My car's this way."

"Take Xola, Mpho and I will follow you in my car," said Carol, leading Mpho away quickly.

"You don't even know what the car looks like," called Xola.

"You know their car, we'll find them. Come, Xola," said Msimang, as he led the way to his car. Xola followed him, surprised he knew her first name.

"Where are your friends parked?" he asked as he drove out of his parking space. Xola directed him. They found Carol and Mpho waiting for them. Xola lowered her window and waved, Carol flashed her lights then Msimang drove off. Xola could not think of a single word to say and Msimang was quiet. He put on some music and drove into a shopping complex.

"This is a great place, I wasn't expecting to see something like this in the middle of nowhere," said Xola.

"It's for the tourists who come to the holiday resorts," said Msimang as he climbed out of the car. They waited for Mpho and Carol to join them, then Msimang led them to the only restaurant in the complex. The waiters all treated him as if he was royalty. There were no free tables, he and his guests were led to the manager's office.

"Sit down, ladies," he said. The ladies sat down. Waiters brought them menus and took their orders.

Msimang excused himself, then the waiters left.

"Why does everyone treat your Msimang as if he's God?" asked Carol.

"He is not mine!" said Xola. A waiter returned with their drinks.

"Who is the man who brought us here?" asked Carol.

"Carol!" gasped Xola.

"Mr Msimang? He owns this whole complex," said the waiter, then he left. Carol and Mpho looked at Xola.

"What?" she said.

"If he's single, you need to..." said Carol. Msimang returned.

"I apologise for keeping you waiting, ladies," he said. Xola was surprised he knew how to apologise. He sat between Mpho and Carol and told them they looked fantastic. They giggled like school girls, to Xola's annoyance. The food arrived quickly.

"It pays to own a restaurant," said Carol. Xola kicked her under the table, afraid Msimang would know they had asked questions about him.

Msimang flirted with Carol and Mpho as if they were the only women alive. Xola wanted to roll her eyes. Her friends were behaving as if they had never been in the presence of a man.

Mpho poured her heart out to Msimang, and Xola was amazed he was capable of empathy. He told her if the men who had left her did not appreciate her, she was better off without them. The best thing was to live her life and not waste time moping for those who did not know a good thing when they saw it. Mpho agreed with him and thanked him for his advice. Xola and Carol looked at each other. When they had told her that, she had burst into tears.

The plates were cleared away, Msimang made several suggestions for dessert. Xola said she was full and asked for the bill. The waiter looked from her to Msimang.

"Don't worry about the bill," he said. The waiter relaxed.

"Well, Xola, what will you have?" asked Msimang.

"Nothing, thanks," she said. The waiter left to fill the orders given by the others. Xola noticed Msimang listening to Mpho. She caught Carol's eye and nodded at the door.

"Is there a problem?" asked Msimang.

"Xola needs the bathroom," said Carol. Xola closed her eyes, embarrassed beyond words. The waiter returned with dessert and Msimang asked him to direct Xola to the bathroom. She left reluctantly.

She took several deep breaths in the bathroom and told herself to relax, but it was not possible.

She returned to her companions. They were all laughing uproariously.

"Are you alright? You were gone a long time," said Mpho. As if you noticed, thought Xola.

"I'm fine, thanks," she said, sitting down. Mpho's phone rang, she made to stand up.

"Take it here," said Msimang. Everyone was quiet as Mpho took her call. It ended and she looked at Msimang.

"That was Ma. She expected me home today, but Xola came up with this and I forget to tell Ma," she said.

"Did you assure her that you're safe?" he said.

"Yes, she expects me on Tuesday. Thank you for a fabulous meal."

"Yes, thank you," said Carol.

"Thank you," said Xola.

"You're most welcome, ladies," said Msimang.

"We'll be off now. We hope to see you soon," said Mpho, getting to her feet. Everyone else stood too. Mpho and Carol shook Msimang's hand, he and Xola nodded at each other. Mpho led the way to Carol's car. Msimang waved the friends off as Carol drove away.

"He's nice," said Carol.

"Yes, and he's mad about you, Xola," said Mpho. Xola rolled her eyes.

"He spent the night talking to us, but most of the time, his eyes were on you," said Carol.

"Hmm!" said Xola, not believing a word she was hearing.

Mpho and Carol slept immediately once they were in their chalet. Xola tossed and turned. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Msimang, smiling, laughing, or listening attentively. She did not want to think about him. She liked him, but he did not like her. He probably had a wife and several children. The best thing I can do for myself is forget him, she told herself.

Next day, the three friends woke up late. They freshened up then they had brunch.

"This was great, Xola, thank you," said Mpho.

"Thanks, Xola, and thanks for introducing us to your Msimang. He's not as bad as you made him out to be," said Carol. Xola opened her mouth to speak.

"I bet he's waiting for you to finish the project then he'll come after you," said Mpho.

"He will not!" gasped Xola. She could not believe what she was hearing.

"We'll see. Let's go, I don't want to be stuck in the Sunday afternoon traffic," said Carol.

# CHAPTER TWO

Xola and Carol met that Tuesday evening. They sat talking a while, then they were silent.

"It's not the same without Mpho," said Xola. Carol nodded.

"I hope she'll be okay," said Xola. Carol nodded.

"You're distracted, what's going on?" asked Xola. Carol looked at her and smiled slightly.

"You've found a man, already?" said Xola. Carol nodded.

"This one's for keeps," she said.

"You say that about all of them."

"This is the one, Xola, I feel it in my bones."

"What makes him the one?"

"The way he looks at me and the way I feel when I'm with him."

"Chemistry doesn't make a relationship."

"We have more than chemistry."

"How long have you known this guy?"

"We met at the holiday resort, then we had dinner last night."

"One date does not make a relationship." Carol smiled dreamily.

"Tell me about him," Xola said in resignation.

"His name's Danie. He's in movie-making, and..."

"Is he married?"

"No!"

"Did you ask him?"

"Of course. He's been all over the world and he's so interesting, and he thinks I'm smart."

"When do I meet this paragon of masculinity?"

"This weekend. He'll be back from Mozambique, then."

"You really like him."

"It's safe to say I adore him."

"I hope things work out for you."

"They will."

Xola's days were long and busy. On Friday, she kept looking at her watch. She was no clock watcher, but she was dying to go home. She hoped to spend the weekend in bed. Her cellphone rang as she was packing to go home. She answered it.

"Hi, Xola," said Msimang. Xola dropped her handbag and the books she had been holding.

"Mr Msimang? Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, but I need to see you about something." Xola closed her eyes. A meeting with a difficult client, when she was too tired to be polite was the last thing she needed. Msimang gave her his address.

Traffic was bumper to bumper, and Xola arrived at the address almost two hours later. It was a beautiful residential property. She was ushered into the lounge and asked to wait for Msimang. She sat down and started falling asleep. She decided to take a short nap. She set her alarm clock for fifteen minutes, took her shoes off and lay on the couch.

When she woke up, her eyes fell on unfamiliar furniture. She sat up quickly. A light blanket fell off her and landed on the floor. She looked at it, wondering where she was, and why she was there.

"Hi," said Msimang. Everything came rushing back to Xola. She stood, looking at him.

"The bathroom's two doors to your left. Freshen up and join us in the kitchen," he said, then he left. She picked up the blanket and folded it. She put her shoes on and went to freshen up. When she was done, she followed the sound of voices and found Msimang, his father, and a teenage boy seated in the kitchen.

"MaMkhize, come in. You must have been exhausted," said Msimang snr. Xola smiled self-consciously and greeted him and the young man.

"This is my grandson, Paul. Paul, this is MaMkhize, she's in charge of the project I was telling you about. The sun's gone down, we'll have to see it tomorrow," continued Msimang snr.

"I am so sorry. If I hadn't fallen asleep..." said Xola.

"It has nothing to do with you. When Paul arrived, I wanted to show him the project. Isaac did say it was too late to call you, but I insisted. It was my fault. If you're free tomorrow morning, you can give us a tour then. It has to be in the morning because I'm catching a plane to Durban later in the day."

"I'll make time. I'll make my way home now."

"Nonsense! We'll all spend the night here then we'll go together. Isaac has more than enough room here for all of us."

"Sit down, let's eat," said Msimang. Xola sat down, everyone started eating.

"Are you not eating, ntombazana?" asked Msimang snr.

"I'm not very hungry," said Xola.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Did we hijack your plans with your man?" Xola smiled.

"No, you didn't," she said.

"Why didn't you have plans with him? Is it a boyfriend or a husband?"

"I don't have a boyfriend, or a husband."

"Are you looking for a man, or are you one of these modern young women who think they can live without a man?" Xola noticed all the men watching her.

"If I find the right man, I'll marry him, but if I don't, that'll be fine too," she said.

"What is the right man?"

"Someone I can come to a mutual understanding with."

"About what?"

"Most things."

"Do you have unreasonable demands?" asked Msimang.

"They're not unreasonable to me."

"I've been married for fifty-one years," said Msimang snr.

"That's admirable," said Xola.

"Isaac divorced his wife."

"We divorced each other," said Msimang.

"You should have stuck it out. Being married means sticking out the bad times and sorting things out," said Msimang snr.

"Some things can't be fixed."

"Nothing is beyond repair. You should hurry up and remarry. No one was made for living alone. Maybe you and MaMkhize can help each other to find spouses, or you can marry each other. Paul, you need to get married too. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight everyone," said Msimang snr as he left the room.

"Thank you for dinner," said Xola. She cleared away the dishes she and Msimang snr had used. Msimang and Paul continued to eat. She started washing the dishes and looked up when she heard footsteps, Msimang was leaving the room. Paul brought the rest of the dishes to the sink, and dried the dishes Xola had washed. He said he wanted to study engineering and was keen to be part of the project she was working on. She thanked him for his help when they were done with the dishes. He showed her to her bedroom and invited her to go and watch TV in the lounge if she was not sleepy.

Xola looked about the room, then she freshened up in the ensuite bathroom. She lay on the bed, trying and failing to sleep. She climbed out of bed in her underwear, and donned the dressing gown hanging behind the bedroom door. She opened the door. Relief flooded through her when she saw a light showing under the lounge door. She found Paul in there, watching a DVD. He invited her to sit down, and they watched the hilarious movie to the end. Afterwards, they talked about other funny movies they had watched.

"Can't you sleep?" asked Msimang. Xola looked at him, he was standing at the door in long pyjama bottoms, looking directly at her. Her heart pounded with excitement. She told herself not to ogle him, but her eyes had a mind of their own. They noticed that he had a broad brown chest with a light dusting of hair. They noticed that he had a flat stomach and that his nipples were hard.

She made herself look away from his chest and belly. Her eyes landed where his legs met. Quickly, she looked lower down. He had long legs and he was barefoot. His feet were big. She felt her face heat with embarrassment when she realised where her mind was going with that discovery.

She looked at Paul, he was watching her. She felt wicked for ogling his father right infront of him. She looked at Msimang, he was watching her too. She hoped her facial expression did not reveal that she thought he was absolutely gorgeous.

"You didn't answer my question," he said.

"Your question?" said Xola.

"Can't you sleep?"

"I couldn't sleep, but now, I'm ready for bed," she said, then she looked away from him, embarrassed because seeing him as he was made her want to see him on her bed.

"Don't leave on my account," he said.

"I'm very tired, goodnight," she said. She stood and made her way to the door. Msimang made way for her. She smelled soap on him, he must have come out of a shower. She wanted to run her hand on his chest. She walked away quickly.

Sleep eluded her for a long time. She was wondering which bedroom Msimang was in, and if he would welcome her if she joined him. She laughed, he was likely to send her out of the room, throw her off the premises and probably take his account elsewhere.

Xola stopped seeing humour in the situation and decided to sleep. She took deep breaths, quickly squashing any images of Msimang or anyone else, when they entered her mind

She was exhausted when her alarm clock woke her in the morning. She freshened up, then she stood rebuking herself for not having asked to use Msimang's washing machine to wash her clothes. She was startled by a knock on the door. She put the dressing gown on and opened the door. An elderly woman was standing there.

"Mr Msimang said to give you these," she said, giving her a skirt and top. Xola thanked the woman and took the clothes. They were too big for her. She found a needle and thread and adjusted them where she could. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed. She looked like a little girl who had stolen her big sister's clothes. She shrugged and went to look for the Msimangs.

She found them in the dining room and greeted them.

"Sit down and eat, MaMkhize, we need to leave soon," said Msimang snr. Xola sat down and ate a little food.

After breakfast, the Msimangs left in two cars, Xola followed them in her car. At the project site, she showed them about. Msimang snr and Msimang seemed more interested in watching her than in looking at the site. She focused on Paul and answered his questions. When she was done with the tour, she turned to the elder men, they were watching her.

"Any further questions, gentlemen?" she asked. They did not respond.

"Well, have a good weekend, I'll be off now," she said. They walked her to her car.

"Good luck finding a husband," said Msimang snr. Xola looked at him in surprise.

"Thank you," she said. She climbed into her car and waved at them as she drove off.

She was relieved to be away from Msimang. She was always uneasy when he was in the vicinity. When she parked her car at her home, she realised she had left her purse and clothes at Msimang's house. She cursed, then she decided to relax. Msimang's home was in a safe neighbourhood, and she assumed he had a good security system in place. She took a nap.

She woke up as the sun was about to set. She freshened up and cooked dinner. It was more than she could eat, she decided to take some of it to work the following week. She was startled by a knock on her door. She peered through the peep-hole and her heart thumped hard. What was Msimang doing on her doorstep? She took a deep breath and opened the door.

She felt self-conscious as Msimang looked her up and down. She was wearing a strap top and short shorts that hugged her curves lovingly. He looked into her eyes. Her heart beat quickened further when she saw desire in his eyes. She looked at a neighbour walking behind him, then she looked at him. The desire had been replaced by disapproval.

"Hello," she said.

"You left these in my home," he said, handing her her handbag and a packet.

"Thank you. I was going to phone you and arrange to fetch them tomorrow, or on Monday," she said as she took them.

"I thought you might need your identification documents. It's irresponsible not to have them on you. You could get yourself into trouble."

"I didn't leave them on purpose."

"Xola, are you alright? Why weren't you answering your phone? Oh, hi, Ike," said Carol as she stood beside Msimang.

"Come in," said Xola. Carol entered the house followed by Msimang.

"Something smells great in here, can we eat?" asked Carol.

"Sure, I was about to dish up," said Xola, leading the way to the kitchen.

"This is nice, are you expecting company?" asked Carol, noticing the well-set table.

"No, I just wanted to treat myself. Sit down, I'll get the plates." Carol and Msimang sat down. Xola dished up the food and put plates before her guests.

"Help yourselves," she said.

"Have you heard from Mpho?" asked Carol.

"No, have you?"

"No. Why weren't you answering your phone?"

"It was in her bag at my house," said Msimang. Carol stopped chewing and looked from Xola to him.

Xola stood and brought tea to the table. She sat down. Carol looked at her, waiting for an explanation.

"Thank you for dinner, I have to be going now," said Msimang. He stood, Xola walked him to the front door. She thanked him for bringing her possessions, then she closed the door after he left.

"You spent the night at Ike's?" demanded Carol.

"Why do you come to that conclusion?"

"I phoned you at half past five in the morning and several times throughout the day. If your bag was there that early, it can only be because you spent the night."

"It's not what you think."

"You didn't even tell me that you're dating him!"

"I'm not dating him!"

"You're just sleeping with him?"

"No!" Carol gave her a disbelieving look, then she made a call on her cell phone. She talked excitedly about Danie, then she told Mpho that Xola was sleeping with Ike.

"I am not!" shouted Xola. Carol talked about how cosy Xola and Ike were, and how Xola had opened the door to Ike practically naked.

"They'd probably planned a night of debauchery and I interrupted it," said Carol.

"Carol!" rebuked Xola. Carol's call ended and she gave Xola an accusing look.

"I can't believe you kept this from me," she said.

"Nothing happened!"

"Then why couldn't he take his eyes off you?"

"I don't know!"

"Hmm. Thanks for dinner," said Carol, as she left.

The following week, Mark returned from his leave. Xola updated him on the projects they were working on together. He stepped up his flirting campaign, and nothing she said would dissuade him from treating her as if they were more than work colleagues.

The two of them met Msimang twice that week, and each time, he seemed to grow colder towards Xola. After another meeting where he had seemed to look through her, she decided to talk to Mark. They were packing away their computers in the boardroom.

"Mark, do you want to be responsible for the loss of a big account?" she demanded.

"No," he said.

"Then I suggest you conduct yourself professionally. Msimang looks as if he wants to take his account elsewhere, because of you."

"Me?"

"You're the one who touches me inappropriately in his presence. Haven't you noticed how stiff and cold he gets every time you do that? If he leaves this company, I'll see to it that you leave too." Mark looked deep into her eyes and left the boardroom.

Xola cursed, feeling guilty for putting that crest-fallen look on his face, but she needed the Msimang account.

"There's no need to berate your boyfriend on my account," said Msimang. He was standing at the boardroom door.

"I thought you left," she said.

"We need to discuss something with you. My father is unable to come to your office, can you join us for lunch tomorrow?" Xola looked in her diary. She would not be free for lunch for over a week.

"Then it must be dinner," said Msimang.

"Can't it be breakfast?"

"My father sleeps late and wakes up late. Can you come to dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Come to my home, you'll spend the night," he said, then he left.

"Since when are you spending nights at Ike's? Are you sleeping with a client, Xola?" asked Jake.

"Of course not!" said Xola.

"I'm glad to hear it. Be careful not to get too familiar with a client."

"Yes, Jake."

Mpho phoned Xola that evening.

"Are you sleeping with Ike?" she demanded.

"No!" said Xola.

"Carol said..."

"She misunderstood."

"Help me understand."

"He and I are not involved in a personal capacity. How are you? How's your family?" asked Xola.

"My family's fine."

"How are you? Mpho? Mpho? Mpho, are you there?"

"I'm engaged."

"You're what?"

"You heard."

"Who are you engaged to? I didn't even know you were dating anyone!"

"We didn't date, as such."

"Who is he? Mpho?"

"Lionel."

"Lionel?"

"Lionel Dube."

"Lionel Dube? Lionel Dube...that boy we went to school with?"

"Yes."

"Mpho!"

"I want to be married."

"Why him? You haven't seen him in years. Have you been seeing him without telling us?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what happened?"

"He wants to be married, and I think we can make it work. His family met mine, they'll pay amalobolo soon and we'll get married." Xola plonked into her seat in shock. She was silent, digesting Mpho's words and trying to find a way to ask her not to rush into anything.

"Aren't you going to wish me luck?" asked Mpho.

"Good...good luck. Congratulations," said Xola.

"Thanks.

After the call, Xola phoned Carol.

"She's what?" shouted Carol.

"She's engaged, to Lionel Dube."

"No!"

"It's true."

"It's crazy! I'll call you back, I have an incoming call," said Carol.

Xola slid off her chair, knelt on the floor, closed her eyes and put her hands palm to palm.

"Nkulunkulu, please look after Mpho. If this is the right thing for her, then let it bring her joy. She's had enough heart-break in her life. If it's not the right thing, then stop the marriage before it happens, and help her to heal quickly.

"Help Carol find the right man, and to be happily married. Help me recognise the right man for me and be happily married to him. All three of us want husbands and children. Give them to us and let them bring us the joy we're anticipating. Amen," she prayed.

After her shower, she started cooking. Her cell phone rang.

"You weren't joking, Mpho just confirmed what you told me," said Carol.

"I hope she'll be alright," said Xola.

"I can't believe she got engaged just like that. What possessed her?"

"Did you ask her that?"

"No! It was the only thing I didn't say. I was so stupid! I called her a fool and told her how she'd be divorced and miserable in a short time. Do you know what she said? She said she was already miserable. I have to call her back and apologise. Bye," said Carol.

After work the following day, Xola went to Msimang's home. Paul met her and led her to the study. His grandfather was there.

"MaMkhize, how are?" greeted Msimang snr.

"Very well, thank you, how are you, sir?" said Xola.

"Surviving. Sit down. Isaac said to start without him. Paul wants to share some ideas with you for the project."

Xola sat down.

"I can listen to the ideas, Mr Msimang, but the project is too far advanced for adjustments," she said.

"You haven't even heard my ideas," said Paul.

"I'm warning you that the chances of adding anything are not many, and if you want additions, we'll have to raze parts of the building and start from scratch. That will need more money, and the project would need another six months, whereas now, we have about a month to go."

"Will you listen to him?" asked Msimang snr.

"Of course," said Xola. Paul shared his ideas and Xola listened to them. She was impressed.

"Well?" prompted Paul.

"Great ideas...for another project," she said.

"Mkhulu said you'd implement them on this one."

"Not unless I'm given a bigger budget to work with."

"Mkhulu says you're smart, can't you..."

"Only if we buy cheaper materials so that the project will start falling apart in eighteen months. I don't do shoddy work. If that's what your company wants, you'll have to take your business elsewhere."

Paul would not hear Xola's side of things. They got into a heated debate, then Xola remembered Msimang snr. She looked at him. He seemed to be enjoying watching them.

"What's going on?" asked Msimang. He was standing at the study door. Xola's heart beat quickened. He looked fantastic, and a little tired. She wanted to massage him and make him feel better.

"Your project manager refuses to see reason," said Paul.

"I can't implement Paul's ideas at this late stage. They're great, but they should be there from the beginning of a project so they can be included in the budget from the word go," said Xola.

"If Baba had suggested them, you'd find a way to implement them." Xola's heart quickened. She glanced at Msimang, he was seated, watching her. She looked back at Paul.

"No, I wouldn't, not at this late stage," she said.

"She's the expert, son, we have to go with what she says," said Msimang snr.

"But..." said Paul.

"Maybe next time." A staff member announced dinner.

"It's still early. I'll be on my way," said Xola.

"Nonsense. Now that we have you here, I want to talk to you about something. Let's go and eat, then we'll talk," said Msimang snr.

"I'm going home," said Paul and he left. Everyone else went to the dining room to eat.

"How's your husband hunt going?" asked Msimang snr. Xola looked at him.

"Tell me everything," said Msimang snr.

"There's nothing to tell. I'm too busy with work to look for a husband," said Xola.

"There's a potential husband for you in this very room. Not me of course." Xola glanced at Msimang, he was frowning at his father.

"Don't give me that stern look, boy. I'm your father, you don't scare me. You need to get married. Living alone like this is unnatural. You need a woman to make babies with. That boy of yours belongs more to his mother than he ever will to you. Make a family and be involved in raising your children."

"That's women's work," said Msimang.

"It's the responsibility of both parents," said Xola.

"Men are not wired to care for small creatures."

"That's a cop out."

"It's a fact of life. Men and women are wired differently."

"Then how come some fathers stay home to raise their children?"

"That happens on TV, no real man will do that. Do you know any men in this country who stay home to do that?"

"Yes."

"They are henpecked. No man willingly takes on women's work."

"Are you saying men who do that are not real men?"

"Of course they're not real men. What kind of man..."

"Stop that, right now," said Msimang snr. Xola and Msimang put down their eating utensils and sipped from their glasses of water.

"I'm telling your mother to expect a new daughter-in-law," said Msimang snr.

"She'll never have another daughter-in-law. One round of marriage was one too many for me," said Msimang.

"Be a man, son. A real man marries and stays married. You gave up too soon."

"I did not!"

"I've been with your mother for over fifty years. Do you think we never had problems? Do you think we never disagreed? We quarrelled, then we made up. When we had problems, we solved them, or asked for help solving them."

"It's a domestic affair, no one else should be involved."

"Under most circumstances, yes, but there are extremes when you know that if you don't get help, your marriage will disintegrate. Wisdom is knowing when to ask for help, and to ask for it from people who'll help the marriage to grow. Your marriage only lasted ten years, and for five of those, you weren't living with your wife. How could you let her take your son? The children belong to their father."

"Raising children is not a man's job."

"You could have given him to us to raise."

"Ma had enough on her hands without adding Paul. I had no one to leave him with. If you recall, I was doing a lot of travelling then."

"Still..."

"It's done with now."

"If you make any more children..."

"I won't!"

"...bring them to us, or one of your siblings. Your children belong to us."

"Paul uses our surname, what more do we need?" Msimang snr shook his head, then he was silent and thoughtful.

"Thank you for the meal. What is it you wanted to talk to me about, sir?" Xola asked him.

"Hmm? I have nothing I want to discuss with you. I was going to spend the night, Isaac, but I think I'll go home."

"This is also your home," said Msimang.

"My home is where my wife is. This is your house. When you have a wife, it will be a home. MaMkhize, find a husband and live life the way it's meant to be lived. No one was made for solitude," said Msimang snr, then he left.

Xola took the dishes to the kitchen and started washing them. She heard Msimang's approaching footsteps, then he was in the kitchen with her. She glanced at him. He was leaning against the door frame, clearly furious.

"Why did Baba have to remind me of the hell that is marriage?" he demanded. Xola looked at him cautiously, never having seen him in that mood.

"I'm talking to you!" he said.

"I don't know."

"Did you put him up to it?"

"Of course not!" said a startled Xola.

"You see me as a meal ticket, so you put ideas into his head about marrying me and giving him the grandchildren he so desperately desires."

"I did not do that!"

"Then why is he telling me to marry you?"

"I don't know, but I do know that you need never fear that I'll marry you. I'd rather marry a cat than marry you."

"You need never fear that I'd ask you."

"I might have thought about asking you, but you're too obnoxious to trouble with."

"A woman can never ask a man to marry her. It's the man's prerogative to decide on the direction a relationship takes."

"The direction of a relationship should be decided by both people in the relationship."

"The man is the leader, he's the only decision-maker. All a woman has to do is follow instructions."

"That's nonsense."

"That's life."

"Not where I live."

"That's why you're alone."

"You're alone too."

"That's a choice I made."

"The choice of cowards." Xola watched Msimang change expression from fury to super-fury. Her words had pushed him over the edge. He straightened and walked towards her. Her heart was pounding furiously. He leaned into her face.

"I...am...not...a...coward," he enunciated slowly, and clearly. Xola nodded. Msimang straightened.

"Even if I were a coward, I wouldn't want to be told that by a little girl who knows nothing about me. Get out of here," he said coldly. Xola picked up her belongings and left.

At home, she freshened up and climbed into bed. She could not sleep, she kept seeing Msimang whenever she closed her eyes. She climbed out of bed and sat in the lounge. She was startled by a knock on the door. It was after midnight, who would come to her home at that hour? She looked through the peep-hole, and her heart thudded. She opened the door, Msimang walked into her home.

"I've been thinking," he said. Xola closed the door and followed him to the lounge.

"I'm sorry I called you a..." she said. He put a hand up.

"Did you like any of Paul's ideas?" he asked.

"They're brilliant, but it's too late to use them now." Msimang nodded thoughtfully.

"Can you let him tag along with you when you go to the project? He's bored. Going with you will make him feel as if he's doing something."

"I have no problem with that. If you give me his number..." said Xola.

"I'll give him yours, you're too busy to chase after him."

"Alright," said Xola. Msimang turned to leave.

"Did you drive all this way, this late at night, just to say that?" asked Xola. Msimang stopped and turned to look at her.

"If you ever call me a ..." he said.

"I won't. I didn't even mean it. I don't know anything about you, I had nothing to base those words on. I did apologise."

"Alright."

"Would you like something to drink? I have coffee, juices, and some wine."

"You drink wine?"

"Sometimes."

"Women shouldn't drink." Xola rolled her eyes.

"Women can do anything that men can do," she said.

"No decent woman drinks, smokes, or..."

"There is no law to that effect."

"It's cultural decency."

"It is not! Women drink traditional brews and smoke traditional things."

"Only the single ones, who have no man to guide and control them."

"Guide and control them? Where do you get that nonsense?"

"It is not nonsense."

"No woman can let go and be 'guided' and 'controlled'."

"Any man worthy of the name expects a decent woman, and a decent woman knows that her role is that of follower to a man." Xola shook her head.

"You look at me as if you pity me," said Msimang.

"I do pity you. Have you met any woman who lets a man guide and control her?"

"My mother."

"Did she say she has that kind of relationship with your father?"

"She didn't have to say it, it's obvious when you watch them interacting. My father lays down the law, and she does what he says."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe they discuss things, agree on them, then he presents them?"

"He would never discuss anything with a woman. Women are incapable of being reasonable. All they know how to do is be emotional."

"Then why does your father discuss business with me, and consult me, and follow my recommendations?"

"That's business."

"So you're saying women are good at business?"

"No!"

"Then what are you saying?"

"When you were born, your brain was empty, and as you grew, it was filled with the nonsense that women teach each other. When you went to school, you were taught male principles. We only consult you because we know men have put reasonableness in your previously empty brain. That only applies in business. No woman can run a home."

"Then how am I maintaining this home?"

"Your father, brother, or boyfriend makes the decisions, and you follow their instructions."

"My father lives in another province, I have no brother, and no boyfriend. Everything in this home, including this home, belongs to me. I bought every last thing, and I decide what happens to me and my property."

"But you want to change that."

"What do you mean?"

"You want a husband to guide you, take responsibility for you and make decisions for you."

"That is not what I want a husband for."

"You'll never admit to it because your mind has been filled with rubbish about women's rights. Deep down, you want a man to take care of you."

"I want a companion, not a caretaker."

"The bottom line is that you want a man to make decisions for you, because you're tired of doing something you were not made for doing."

"I have never heard such...such backward drivel. Even our ancestors did not expect their wives to be yes-women."

"Yes, they did."

"They discussed things with their wives because they knew that two or more heads are better than one."

"Then they were not real men."

"They were the real men, and those who expect yes-women are..."

"Are what?" Xola looked away from Msimang and led the way to the kitchen.

"You didn't finish your sentence, what were you saying?" asked Msimang. Xola was taking glasses to the table.

"If we want to remain civil to each other, we'd better drop that subject," she said.

"You're backing down because you know I'm right."

"I'm backing down because I don't fight losing battles. You're a confirmed and proud male-supremacist, I'm a confirmed and proud equalist. Neither of us will change our minds. We should agree to differ and steer clear of topics that put us at loggerheads."

"You're a coward."

"I thought you didn't like that word."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, in a woman." Xola gave him a long look and decided not to challenge his statement.

Msimang sat down at the table and Xola watched him as he looked about the room.

"This place suits you, but you'll have to move out when you marry and move into your husband's home," he said.

"We'll move into a home we both own. I don't plan to be sent away from my marital home by his family if he dies before me. If we both own the place, I'll be able to take the matter to court."

"You see, women are only logical in a bad way."

"What do you mean?"

"You're only logical when it comes to gold-digging."

"What are you talking about?"

"You want a man's property."

"I do not!"

"You just said..."

"Where will I live with my children if the man's family throw me out of my home?"

"You'll go back to your parents' home."

"Never! I'm an adult, I will not live in the home of another adult. I need to have the right to be involved in decisions about the home, and that can never happen in my parents' home."

"No man will give you those rights."

"I know, I'll take them."

"I'd never let you."

"I wouldn't ask for your permission. How do you take your tea?"

"Two sugars, no milk," said Msimang. Xola prepared the tea and sandwiches, and put everything on the table. They ate in silence. Xola cleared the table and washed up.

When she was done, she turned to look at Msimang. He had pushed his chair away from the table. He was sitting back with his legs spread. He looked incredibly sexy. Xola looked at the dish towel in her hand, giving herself a chance to stop drooling. She put the towel on the sink behind her, then she returned to her seat.

"You're a beautiful woman. You should use your beauty to catch a man," said Msimang. Xola was shocked and delighted by his words. It was nice to know that he thought her beautiful.

"You have the looks and the clothes, why haven't you found a man?" he asked thoughtfully.

"You know what it is? It's that confident air you have. No man likes that. Men like a woman to be unsure, of herself and everything else. Men want to take care of women, but they aren't attracted to someone who looks like she's in charge. That leads to power struggles, no man wants that. A man wants to know that his masculinity will not be challenged at home. My advice is, lose the confidence, and you'll be engaged this time next week," he said.

"This confidence has taken years to build, I'm not going to let me, or anyone else destroy it."

"You won't get a man unless you lose it."

"I've had men before, and I got them with this confidence."

"Where are they? If you'd been less confident, they'd have stayed."

"I'm not going to try and be something less than I am, just to be with a man. If he's threatened by who and what I am, then he's not man enough for me."

"You'll never get a man with that attitude."

"I will, and he'll be a good man who supports me and encourages my strengths."

"Women only have the strength to cry."

"You have absolutely no respect for women."

"They have no characteristics worth respecting."

"The fact that women's strengths are different from men's does not make them any less admirable."

"Women are an inferior breed." Xola looked away from Msimang in disgust, then she stood.

"Please leave," she said.

"You're being emotional."

"And you're being insulting. The door you used to come in will lead you out."

"Anger is ugly on a beautiful woman like you." Xola led the way to the front door and opened it wide. Msimang left, she banged the door hard. She locked it and went to lie on her bed.

She was too furious to sleep. She climbed out of bed and paced the floor. She had met male-supremacists before, but none of them had ever been as hard-core and offensive as Msimang had been. She wished there was a way to make him see reason, but she knew all the oceans would have to dry up before he was even tempted to see reason.

Why am I so angry? I refuse to be angry about something I can do nothing about, she told herself firmly. She took several deep breaths, then, when she felt calmer, she talked herself into falling asleep.

# CHAPTER THREE

She groaned when her alarm clock woke her. She had not had enough sleep. She freshened up then she went to meet a client. She found the Msimangs in her office after her meeting.

"Oh!" she said. She had not been expecting them.

"MaMkhize, sit down," said Msimang snr. Xola greeted him and his son as she made her way to her seat. Jake arrived and the meeting started.

The Msimangs wanted an update. Xola wanted to curse. How was she supposed to be ready to give an update when it had not been scheduled?

Jake made small talk while she searched for information on her computer. She looked up suddenly. Msimang was watching her intently. She returned his look, then she looked at her computer. She could feel a smile about to break out on her face and did not want the arrogant man watching her to know that she thought he was the handsomest man that had ever lived.

She found the information she had been looking for and looked at Jake. He was relieved to catch her eye. She did not blame him, the Msimangs seemed to be in a bad mood. It was unusual to see Msimang snr looking displeased. It made Xola more nervous.

She stuttered and stammered her way through a project she knew every tiny detail about. Whenever she glanced at Msimang snr, he was looking at her impassively. He usually nodded or interjected during meetings. His silence was awful.

Xola looked at Jake out of panicked eyes. He seemed to shrug his shoulders. She finished her presentation and handed out photographs of the project. The Msimangs did not even glance at them.

"Is there something in particular you want to know about?" asked Xola. They did not respond.

"Thank you for coming," she said. Through the corner of her eye, she saw Jake flinching. He had told his staff over and over again that the clients would leave when they wanted to, and the staff was never, ever, to show them the door. The Msimangs continued to watch her.

"I'm going to the site at two this afternoon. If either of you or Paul wants to meet me there, you can see everything for yourselves," Xola said in desperation. Her cell phone rang. She picked it up quickly, and made to cut the call.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asked Msimang.

"It can wait."

"Take it, all calls are important." Reluctantly, Xola answered the call.

"What's the matter with you? Why do you sound so odd?" asked Carol.

"I'm in a meeting. Can I call you back later?"

"No, this is important." Xola turned away from the men in her office.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I want you to meet Danie."

"We can talk about that later. Please, let me call you back."

"Is it Ike you're meeting?" Xola drew a breath. Carol laughed.

"No wonder you're so tense. Tell him hello from me," she said.

"Carol! Bye," said Xola. She switched off her phone and turned back to the men.

"Was that your friend Carol?" asked Msimang.

"Yes," said Xola reluctantly.

"How is she?"

"Fine."

"Give her my regards. We'll be off now," he said. He and his father left. Xola looked at Jake.

"How dare you send a client out!" he raged.

"It's alright. It was bad manners on our part not to respond to MaMkhize's questions and answers. It was Isaac who insisted we come for a status report. I know we're only due for one next week, don't shout at her. MaMkhize, don't worry. Isaac has been in an odd mood recently. I think it's woman trouble," said Msimang snr, then he left. Jake looked at Xola.

"First, you're sleeping at Ike's, and now, he knows your friend. What's going on between you?" he demanded.

"Nothing!"

"Whatever it is, make sure it doesn't jeopardise this account."

Xola had not planned to go to the Msimang project site, but having told the Msimangs she would go, she went, in case one of them had taken her up on her offer. None of the Msimangs was at the site. Xola heaved a sigh of relief. She looked things over, everything was going well.

Later in the day, she phoned Carol.

"Is Ike still gorgeous?" asked Carol.

"I called about Mpho," said Xola.

"What about her?"

"I'm going to visit her tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

"You're supposed to meet Danie."

"He can come with us."

"I can't take him home with me."

"I hear there's a bed and breakfast somewhere close to home, he can stay there."

"This is very short notice."

"I know. I think she needs to see us, and we need to be sure she's alright. It'll be a surprise."

"I love surprises."

"So you'll come?"

"I'll talk to Danie and let you know." Later, Carol confirmed that she and Danie would join Xola in going to see Mpho.

The following evening, Carol and Danie picked Xola up from work.

"Oh!" said Xola, when Carol introduced her to Danie.

"Xola! Say hello," prompted Carol.

"Hello," said Xola. Danie smiled and held his hand out to her. She looked at it, then she shook it.

"Hello. Can I take your bag?" he said. She handed him her overnight bag and watched him as he went to put it in the boot. He closed the boot and opened the back passenger door for her.

"Xola, get in," said Carol. Xola climbed in and watched Danie as he went to the front passenger seat.

"Stop staring at him," hissed Carol. Xola nodded. She kept glancing at Danie as Carol drove. He and Carol tried to include her in the conversation, but she was monosyllabic. Carol stopped the car as she and Danie swapped seats. She moved into the passenger seat while Danie walked round the front of the car to climb into the driver's seat.

"What is your problem? Danie will think you don't like him," said Carol.

"You didn't tell me..."

"He's just a guy! Relax, okay?"

"Okay." Danie climbed into the car. During the rest of the journey, Xola made an effort to be more sociable.

Danie was dropped off at a bed and breakfast, then Carol and Xola drove to Mpho's home. Xola phoned her when they were outside her gate. It was an electrified western style house while most people had huts.

"You are where?" asked Mpho.

"Come and open the gate," said Xola. Mpho ran out of the house in her pyjamas.

"Xola?" she said.

"Open up," said Xola. Mpho unlocked the gate. Carol drove in and parked the car. The door was wrenched open, and Mpho threw herself into her arms, weeping. Carol held her and told her to greet Xola. Xola held Mpho tight and looked at Carol. They were both glad to have come. Mpho led them into the house.

"Who is that?" asked Mpho's Papa.

"Xola and Carol," said Mpho.

"Do your parents know you're driving in the middle of the night?" demanded Papa. Mpho kissed his cheek.

"You girls need to be careful," he said more calmly. Xola and Carol greeted him then they followed Mpho to her bedroom.

"Girls? Is everything alright? Why are you arriving so late?" asked Mpho's Mama, joining the friends in Mpho's bedroom. Xola and Carol greeted her.

"Everything's fine. We missed Mpho so we decided to come and see her," said Xola. Mpho laid down some sponge mattresses and laid blankets on them. Xola and Carol freshened up, then they went to sleep.

When Xola woke up, she was alone in the bedroom. She freshened up then she went to look for her friends. She found them in the kitchen. She greeted Mpho's parents then she greeted her friends.

"Carol, Xola, are either of you getting married?" asked Papa. Carol and Xola shook their heads.

"You need to follow your friend's example and get married. We were shocked by the speed of Mpho's engagement, but it's better than being unmarried. No man wants an adult unmarried daughter on his hands," said Papa.

"Would you rather have an unhappily married daughter than a happy unmarried one?" asked Mpho.

"You know I only want joy for you. I think this boy will be good for you. Tell your friends to follow your example. Your mothers were all married with children by the time they were your age," said Papa, then he and Mama left the room.

"When can we meet Lionel?" asked Xola.

"This evening. Right now, we're making lunch for the parents, then we'll go out," said Carol.

After serving Mpho's parents, they went to the guest house. Carol knocked on Danie's door. He opened it and smiled. He put his arms round Carol and kissed her soundly. Xola smiled as she watched Mpho's shock at what Carol and Danie were doing.

They stopped kissing and Carol turned to her friends. Danie kept an arm round her waist. Carol introduced Mpho to him and Xola greeted him. He let the friends into his room. He invited the ladies to sit down, while he finished sending some emails. Carol went to sit beside him, Mpho and Xola sat before the TV.

"When did he happen?" whispered Mpho.

"Carol says they met during our last get-away together."

"Why didn't you warn me? Now, I've been staring at him as if I've never seen a white man before."

"I reacted the same way when I met him last night."

"We're done, let's go," said Danie.

He took the ladies out on a picnic to a place they had never seen.

"I grew up here, and I didn't even know such a beautiful place existed," said Carol.

After the picnic, Carol and Danie dropped Mpho off at her home, they took Xola to her home, then they went to her home.

"Xolani? Is that you?" asked Xola's Mama, when Xola arrived at her parents' home.

"Hello, Mama," said Xola. Mama hugged and kissed her. Xola was surprised, then she returned the embrace.

"We don't see you often enough," said Mama. Xola smiled sheepishly, thinking that it was best all round to keep it that way.

"I'll get you something to eat," said Mama.

"I'm not hungry."

"You can't come home and not be fed. I'm going to get you food and you're going to enjoy it," said Mama, as she went to the kitchen. Xola followed her and helped her. They had just sat down to eat, when Baba joined them and sat down.

"Xolani, you are here?" he said. Xola greeted him, then she dished up his food. He started eating.

"Have you been in touch with your sisters?" asked Mama.

"No," said Xola.

"You girls must stay in touch with each other." Xola almost laughed in disbelief.

"Your mother's talking to you," said Baba.

"I'll call them," said Xola.

"You must phone them and go and visit them. Their families need to know you, and when you marry, they need to know your family." Xola made a non-committal sound. Mpho arrived just then. She greeted everyone and Mama invited her to eat with them. She washed her hands and ate from Xola's plate.

"Congratulations on your engagement," said Mama.

"Thank you," said Mpho.

"Xola, your friend has set you a very good example."

"Mama!" said Xola.

"You need to get married and give me some grandchildren."

"You have plenty of grandchildren."

"I want some from you too."

"That might happen sooner than you think," said Mpho.

"Really?" said Mama, hopefully.

"No!" said Xola.

"Ike..." said Mpho.

"That man and I could never work,"

"Time's running out, Xola, make an effort with the man you have, instead of looking for the perfect man, there's no such thing. Where's your luggage?" asked Mama.

"At Mpho's."

"You should have brought it with you."

"Can I borrow Xola? I need her help with something," said Mpho.

"Don't be out late. If your young man has a brother, set him up with Xola," said Mama.

"Mama!" said Xola. She and Mpho left. Mpho was deep in thought.

Her mother met them at the gate.

"You're late. Your young man's been waiting ages. Go and dress properly. You don't want to look unkempt," she said, taking Mpho's hand and leading her to her bedroom. Xola followed and watched Mama choose an outfit for Mpho and try to dress her.

"Thank you, Mama, I can dress myself," said Mpho.

"Hurry. You don't want him leaving like...hurry," said Mama, then she left.

"Don't cry, Mpho. You know Mama didn't mean to hurt you," said Xola.

"I know, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing."

"Oh!" said Xola in shock. She put her arms round Mpho, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind.

"I'll help you dress," she said.

"But..."

"We'll talk. You'll come with me after dinner and we'll talk. Okay?"

"Okay." Mpho dressed and led the way to the lounge.

Papa and another man were sitting in there quietly. The second and younger man stood when he saw Mpho, and his face lit up. He made to approach her, then he checked himself. Mpho and Xola sat down then he sat down. Mpho greeted him and introduced Xola. Xola greeted both men. Carol ran into the room.

"Is he still here?" she asked. Mpho introduced her to Lionel.

"I can't believe you conned my friend into marrying you," Carol said.

"No one was conned into anything," said Lionel. He and Carol started teasing and arguing good-naturedly. A throat was cleared and everyone turned to see Danie standing at the door. Carol drew him into the room and introduced him to Papa and Lionel.

"Are you with the police?" Papa asked Danie.

"No, sir," said Danie.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"He's my friend, I invited him," said Carol.

"Your friend? What kind of friend?"

"Papa!"

"Are you going with this boy, Carol?" Carol looked down.

"He's never going to marry you," said Papa.

"Papa! No one is talking about marriage," said Carol.

"What are you doing with him if marriage is not on your mind? Young man, that girl is practically my child. If marriage is not on your mind then leave her alone. Let her be with someone who has honourable intentions towards her. She is not for passing time with till you marry your own kind."

"Papa!" gasped Carol. Papa left the room.

"I'm so sorry, Danie. Don't mind Papa," said Carol.

"He's right," said Danie.

"Come and sit down, let's talk to Mpho and her Lionel. We grew up with him, and I spent hours trying to talk sense into him. Lionel, if you hurt Mpho, you'll have me and Xola to deal with."

"I love her and I always will," said Lionel. Mama brought in drinks and biscuits. Xola took the tray from her, thanked her and started serving everyone.

"When did you get engaged?" she asked.

"Some weeks back," said Mpho.

"What day?" asked Carol.

"Does it matter?"

"What day?" Lionel mentioned the date. Xola counted the days between Mpho's leaving Johannesburg and getting engaged, then she gasped in horror. Mpho had gotten engaged within days of arriving in her parents' home.

"Why did you get engaged so quickly, and to this guy?" asked Carol, jocularly.

"Skattie, that's their business," said Danie.

"I love Mpho, I always have. I asked her to marry me because I love her," said Lionel.

"Mpho, why did you agree to marry him?" asked Carol.

"What does it matter?" asked Mpho.

"Come on, tell us. Is it a state secret?"

"Can we change the subject?"

"I want to know why you agreed to marry me," said Lionel. Mpho looked at him then she looked at Carol.

"Why are you dating Danie?" she asked.

"We're not talking about me," said Carol.

"I am." Carol looked at Danie.

"I like him, he's got a magnetism that drew me to him, and now that I know him better, I could love him. Your turn," she said.

"Yes, your turn, Mpho," said Lionel. Mpho looked at him, then she looked down at her tightly clenched hands.

"I agreed to marry you because...because you said you love me," she said.

"I do love you."

"I don't know if I love you."

"You like me, don't you?" Mpho nodded.

"Then I can wait until you learn to love me," said Lionel.

"That will never happen."

"It will. I'll be the best husband for you and we'll have wonderful children."

"But..."

"Is there someone else?"

"No!"

"Are you still in love with your ex-fiance?"

"I don't know."

"If he offered to come back to you now, would you let him?"

"No!"

"Is there anyone else you want?"

"No."

"Then we can work, if we're both committed to maintaining our marriage." Mpho gave a half nod.

When everyone was done eating, Xola collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen. When she returned to the lounge, Mpho and Lionel were deep in conversation. Carol and Danie were holding hands and whispering to each other. Xola suddenly felt lonely and alone. She left the room and made her goodbyes to Mpho's parents. She walked home in the dark. Her parents were waiting up for her.

"Do you want to eat, Xola?" asked Mama.

"No, thanks, I'll just sleep," said Xola. She freshened up and went to lie on her bed. Someone knocked on her door and entered the hut before she could say anything. Xola sat up.

"Mpho?" she said.

"Why did you leave?"

"I...I was tired."

"Is your offer to sleep here still available?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Do you still want to talk?"

"I talked to Lionel," yawned Mpho.

# CHAPTER FOUR

After breakfast next morning, Mpho and Xola made their goodbyes to Xola's parents and went to Mpho's home. Danie and Carol picked Xola up from there, then they started on their return journey to Johannesburg.

Carol was dropped off first, then Danie took Xola to her home. He insisted on seeing her to her door. She was searching her bag for her house keys, when she heard approaching footsteps. She looked up and her heart beat quickened.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"You haven't answered your phone all weekend, I thought something might be wrong," said Msimang. He was in a blue tracksuit, looking fabulous. Xola searched for her keys more frantically.

"I went out of town without my charger and the battery went flat," she said.

"Hi, I'm Danie," said Danie.

"Sorry. This is Danie, Danie, this is..." said Xola.

"Ike," said Msimang, seeing how Xola had not said who he was.

"Oh! You're Ike," said Danie, looking Msimang over with great interest. Msimang returned his look coldly.

"I'll be off, Xola," said Danie.

"Thank you," said Xola. Danie left and she wished he had stayed. She continued to search for her keys. She felt stupid doing it in Msimang's presence.

"Is there a problem?" he asked. She shook her head. In desperation, she searched her trouser pockets, then her jacket pockets, the keys were in one of the jacket pockets. She sighed with relief and waved the key at Msimang. He watched her impassively. She unlocked her door and entered her home. She turned to Msimang, he was right behind her.

"Thank you for checking up on me, as you can see, I'm fine," she said.

"Don't I get a cup of tea, after coming all this way?"

"I'm too tired to fight with you."

"I didn't come here to fight with you."

"You came to insult women, I can't take that right now. I just want to sleep."

"Then sleep."

"I'll see you," she said, hoping he would get the hint and leave. He entered the house and closed the door.

"I need for you to leave," she said.

"I can't be alone right now." She opened her mouth to send him away, then she closed it when she realised how vulnerable he looked. She wanted to put her arms round him and tell him that everything would be alright. She put down her overnight bag, too tired to carry it to the bedroom.

"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I'm going to take a bath, then I'm going to sleep. If you want to leave before I come out of the bathroom, make sure to lock the door, it has a self-locking mechanism," she said. He nodded, she went to the bathroom.

She felt rejuvenated after her long bath. She put on a free-flowing gown and went to the kitchen to cook. She put a CD into the CD player and danced and sang as she worked. The CD ended and she turned to the radio. She gasped when she saw a man standing against her kitchen door.

"It's me," said Msimang.

"I thought you left," she said, leaning weakly against the cabinet beside her.

"I didn't mean to frighten you. You have a great voice." Xola was stunned.

"Thank you," she said.

"Which CD do you want me to play for you?"

"I can do it."

"You're busy, I'll do it." Xola told him what CD to put on, then she turned back to her work. She wanted to sing and dance but felt self-conscious knowing Msimang was in the room with her. She decided to do as she pleased in her own home by dancing and singing. She relaxed more and more with each new song. Her phone rang. She reduced the CD player volume and answered the phone.

"Have you arrived, Xolani?" asked Baba.

"Yes."

"Then why did you not let us know?"

"I'm sorry, Baba."

"When are you getting married?"

"Baba?" said Xola, surprised by the change of topic.

"You make us all look like failures."

"I have a home, a car, a good job, and I help to support you."

"That means nothing! A daughter is supposed to bring her family amalobolo and grandchildren."

"I can't find anyone to marry."

"There are lots of men in Joburg. We don't even care if you marry a foreigner, just marry someone," said Baba, then he cut the call. Xola looked at the phone in disbelief.

"Is everything alright?" asked Msimang. Xola looked at him.

"My father just told me to get married. He's never used that harsh tone with me before," she said. She switched off the stove and sat down at the table to phone Mpho.

"Have you seen my parents?" she asked.

"Not since we left them this morning. Has something happened to them?" Mpho asked sleepily.

"I don't think so."

"What's the matter?"

"Baba's very upset with me, because I'm not married."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me to marry anyone, just as long as I get married. What am I supposed to do?"

"Get engaged to Ike and break the engagement later," she said.

Xola looked at Msimang, he was watching her. She looked away quickly.

"I can't do that. I'll call Mama tomorrow, maybe she can tell me what's going on," she said. She put her phone on the table and stood.

"Were you talking about me?" asked Msimang. Xola looked at him.

"You looked at me as if you were talking about me," said Msimang.

"You don't want to know what was said," Xola said, turning back to the pots.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know." Xola looked at him.

"Mpho suggested we pretend to be engaged until Baba feels more kindly towards me. Don't worry, I won't ask you to do that."

"Will doing that help you?"

"There's no point in even considering it."

"Can I help in any way?"

"You can tell me why you don't want to be alone."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Then you can leave." Msimang looked away from her, a bleak expression on his face. Xola's heart melted. She opened her mouth to take back her words.

"Seven years ago today, I waved off some of my best staff. I was sending them on an all-expenses paid holiday to Madagascar for working so well for the company," said Msimang.

"That was nice," said Xola.

"The plane crashed," said Msimang. Xola gasped.

"They all died."

"I am so sorry!" said Xola.

"I made widows and orphans of their families."

"It was an accident."

"I don't deserve to live." Xola looked at Msimang in horror. He believed the terrible words he had uttered.

She helped him to his feet and put her arms round him. He was still, then he put his arms round her too. He held her tight, then he left the room abruptly. Xola stared after him, then she followed him to the guest bedroom. He had locked himself in there. She knocked several times, but he did not respond. After a while, she went to her bedroom.

She climbed into bed and hugged a pillow. She could not sleep. She tossed and turned, wondering why Baba was mad at her, and wondering how Msimang was doing. She fell into a fit-full doze and woke with a start. She had dreamt that Baba had disowned her for being unmarried. It was half past five in the morning. She phoned Mama.

"Why is Baba mad at me?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" returned Mama.

"He called me last night, bubbling with fury because I'm not married."

"He wasn't angry with you. Your sister's left her home, and your father feels she's making a fool of him."

"Which sister?"

"Bettina. If she gets in touch with you, let your father know."

Xola sighed with relief after the call. She freshened up and dressed, feeling reborn. She found Msimang in the kitchen.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"Fine, it's you I'm worried about. You were upset last night."

"I'm fine, Mama explained everything, there's nothing to worry about," Xola said, as she packed food.

"Here's something to take with you to work," she said.

"I'm not going to work."

"That accident wasn't your fault."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You're still a good man, and you deserve to live."

"Drop it." Xola opened her mouth to say more, but Msimang's facial expression was forbidding. He followed her to the front door. She opened it. Carol was on the other side of it, her hand poised to knock. Her mouth formed an 'O', but her throat did not emit any sound. Her eyes were on Msimang, who was behind Xola.

"Hi, what are you doing here so early?" asked Xola. Carol did not seem to hear her. Her eyes were still on Msimang.

"Hi, Carol," said Msimang.

"Hi, Ike," said Carol, then she looked at Xola.

"Mpho was worried about you, she said I should check on you," she said.

"I'm fine. I'll call you both later to explain. Right now I have to go." Carol moved aside, Xola and Msimang stepped outside the door. Xola locked it, made her goodbyes and left.

In the late afternoon, she let her friends know about Baba's reason for being angry with her.

Over the next three days, she attended an industry Indaba. She returned to the office the day after the indaba ended. Mark and several other people were looking harried.

"What is it? What's going on?" she asked.

"The Msimangs are taking their account away," said Mark.

"No! Where are they?"

"In Jake's office." Xola hurried there. She knocked on the door and entered uninvited.

"MaMkhize, where've you been? Everything's falling apart," said Msimang snr.

"I was at an indaba. What's gone wrong?"

"Everything. We're leaving and we're not paying for that nonsense. Your company will foot the bill for the building to be destroyed before we start building again."

"What's gone wrong? Everything was coming along just fine."

"We want out!" thundered Msimang snr.

"Alright, I understand. Before we do anything else, let's go and see the project, then you can tell me exactly what went wrong."

"We owe you no explanations."

"Yes, you do! I can assure you that we are not paying a cent for the destruction of that structure, and we are not refunding you unless you go with me to the site, and show me every single thing you dislike about it. I'm phoning the head of construction, and we are going to walk the whole place," Xola said firmly. She phoned the construction manager and took him out of a meeting, telling him he would not be paid if he did not make himself available.

"Let's go," she said, then she drove to the site. She, Jake, Mark, the Msimangs, and the construction manager walked the site. Msimang snr actually had no reason to complain. He could find nothing to condemn.

"What do you want to demolish?" asked Xola.

"Isaac, handle this," said Msimang snr, and he left. Xola wanted to curse. Msimang was looking at her coldly.

"Well?" she demanded, too furious to be polite.

"Carry on," he said, then he walked away. Xola stared after him, then she looked at Jake, Mark and the construction manager, who were all watching her.

"What just happened? I am so sick and tired of men pouring their anger out on me when it's not me that's causing them problems! Jake, I quit this account," she said.

"You are not quitting! They'll leave for sure if you quit. This account is too important to lose."

"I've worked with difficult people before, but this...I am not paid for these whims and mood swings."

"Xola..."

"Tell them to..."

"Take the day off."

"I don't want the day off!"

"I don't care! You are not going into the office in this mood. Go home, or go see your friends, just as long as you stay away from the office. Back to work, everyone. Xola, calm down. The project is almost done, it's not long to go now," said Jake. He and the others left.

Xola paced up and down, then she climbed into her car and drove to Mpho's home. She sat in her car, wishing Mpho was there to talk to. After a while, she drove to Carol's home where she invited herself to dinner. Carol's attention was focused on Danie. Xola ate her food and left.

When she arrived home, she found Msimang snr on her doorstep. She felt close to tears. She could not handle another bout with him. She stood looking at him.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked.

"Are you so mad at me that you had to follow me home?" she asked despondently.

"I've come to apologise."

"What?" said a surprised Xola.

"Isaac rebuked me very strongly for the way I treated you today. He threatened to resign from the company if I don't make peace with you."

"Oh!"

"I'm sorry, MaMkhize. I shouldn't have made such a fuss about nothing. It's just...I was worried about my son. They said he could die." Xola's heart pounded with fear. Msimang was dying?

"He's been in hospital for a week and they said he had only days to live, but they told us this afternoon that he had been misdiagnosed. He'll be fine," said Msimang snr.

"But your son was at the meeting with you."

"I have another one."

"I'm glad he'll be fine."

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" Msimang snr looked so earnest that Xola smiled.

"You're forgiven," she said.

"Thank you, MaMkhize, thank you very much."

Xola entered her home amazed that Msimang, who thought she was beautiful but brainless, had fought on her behalf. It was a nice gesture, but it meant nothing. Msimang would never see reason, and she would never buy into his way of thinking.

The Msimang project ended two weeks later. Xola went to see it for the last time. When she was done with the tour, she stood looking at the complex. It was beautiful. It had made her an associate in Jake's company, and it had led to her meeting gorgeous Msimang. It was just too bad the gorgeous man was all looks and nothing else. She drove home, telling herself to forget him.

Over the next month, she dated four men. Carol thought that was laughable. Xola had found it taxing, she decided to take a break before dating again.

Mpho returned from visiting her family. She was full of talk about her wedding plans and the wonderful life she and Lionel would have together.

Xola was at work one afternoon, when Jake invited her to his office. She knocked on his door and entered.

"MaMkhize, it's good to see you. Isn't she beautiful, Isaac?" said Msimang snr. Xola smiled self-consciously and glanced at Msimang. He was watching her impassively. She sat down and greeted him, his son and his father.

"We came to invite you to dinner. You did a great job for us on that project," said Msimang snr.

"It was a team effort," said Xola.

"We're inviting you and your team to dinner." Jake and Mark made their excuses, and gave Xola go-and-represent-the-company looks.

She met the Msimangs after work at one of their hotels. Msimang snr was full of wit and jokes. He and Paul left after the main meal.

Xola looked at Msimang, he was watching her.

"Thank you for the treat, but it was unnecessary," she said.

"We wanted to do it. What will you have for dessert?"

"All I want to do is sleep. I'm going home."

"We have beds here."

"I can drive home," yawned Xola. Msimang spoke on his phone, then the call ended.

"Come with me," he said.

"I need to go home."

"You're too tired to drive. Come," Msimang said firmly. Xola followed him to reception. He collected a key, then they took a lift to a suite. Msimang showed her the lay of the suite, then he bade her goodnight and left.

Xola showered and climbed gratefully into bed. It felt fabulous. She was glad she would not be working the following day. She would have time to really enjoy the very comfortable bed.

She was woken by her ringing phone. Carol and Mpho were at her front door, needing her to let them in. She told them where she was. Carol decided that she and Mpho would join her. Xola fell asleep after the call. She was woken by the ringing of the hotel phone. She answered it and gave Carol and Mpho permission to come to her suite.

"How did you afford a suite at this five star hotel?" asked Carol.

"I'm not paying," said Xola.

"Then how did you get here?"

"Msimang..."

"You spent the night with Ike? In these glamorous surroundings? Girl, you're amazing."

"I didn't say he and I..." There was a knock on the door. Carol ran to open it.

"I'm not dressed!" protested Xola.

"Hi, Ike," said Carol.

"Morning, ladies," said Msimang as he entered the suite. He stood looking down at Xola. She felt self-conscious holding the duvet almost to her chin to hide her nakedness.

"I came to invite you to brunch," he said.

"We accept, thank you," said Carol. Msimang smiled at her, then he looked at Xola.

"We eat in half an hour. Take all your belongings when you leave. A couple on honeymoon is checking in in an hour," he said, then he left.

"That man is to die for! Why haven't you put a ring on his finger? Is he married?" asked Carol.

"No," said Xola.

"Then what's the problem? If I didn't have Danie, I'd take him away from you."

"I don't have him!" Xola said in exasperation.

"Why would he pay for you to use this suite if you didn't have him?"

"I'm going to shower," said Xola.

When she and her friends joined Msimang, he was with his father and son. The ladies sat down, and Msimang made the introductions. They ordered their food, Carol made small talk.

Msimang snr was in a bad mood. Xola tried to get Carol to quiet down, but she did not get the hint. The food arrived quickly and everyone started eating.

Mpho told Msimang of her coming nuptials, and he looked shocked. She assured him that all would be well.

"So, Ike, when are you marrying Xola?" asked Carol.

"Carol!" gasped a horrified Xola. Msimang looked from Carol to her.

"I didn't say anything," she said defensively.

"Yes, Isaac, when will you marry this girl? She's the only one you spend time with, you should do right by her," said Msimang snr.

"No!" said Xola, terrified that Msimang would think she had instigated the conversation.

"What's the matter, MaMkhize? Are you done looking for a husband?"

"I don't want your son thinking I'm trying to force him into something."

"Force is the only thing that'll get him to marry. If you need help, let me know."

"I can make my own marital arrangements," Msimang said coldly.

"If you could, you'd have done so by now," said Msimang snr.

"Thank you for everything, it's time for us to leave now," said Xola, getting to her feet.

"Sit down!" said Msimang snr testily. Xola sat down.

"You and this stubborn boy are going to sit here and talk. Isaac, put a ring on the girl's finger. Everyone, let's leave these two to talk," Msimang snr said, getting to his feet. Everyone stood and left.

Xola watched the retreating backs of her friends enviously. She did not want to hear whatever harsh words Msimang had for her. She looked at him, he was furious.

"This was not my idea. Carol assumed..." she said.

"I'm not blaming you," said Msimang.

"Then why do you look at me as if you hate me?"

"What makes you think I don't?" Xola gasped, feeling a pain deep in her heart.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" Msimang demanded.

"I haven't done anything to you."

"You won't get out of my head, no matter how often I send you away."

"I'm not in your...oh," said Xola. She was glad he thought of her too, but it had to stop.

"Go on dates, we both know nothing can work between us," she said.

"That's what I tell myself, but still, I see you in my head. I hear you singing, I see you dancing and I see you sleeping."

"Sleeping?"

"I checked up on you, the night I slept in your home."

"You spied on me?"

"I checked up on you, I was worried about you, you were upset." She gave him a surprised look.

"Why should it matter to you if I'm upset?" she asked.

"All I know is that I don't like to see you upset, I want to fix whatever is upsetting you." Xola's heart jumped for joy, then she told herself to get over it.

"I'm an adult, I can take care of myself," she said.

"I want to take care of you." Xola's blood went cold. She had heard those words before.

"No thanks, I'm not prepared to be a yes-woman," she said.

"Then how will this relationship work?"

"It won't work. You're too old-fashioned for me, I'm too liberal for you. We'd never agree on anything. Thank you for everything, I'm going home now," said Xola and she left.

She leaned against her car. The words that had made her cold had reminded her of sis Bettina. She phoned her and arranged to meet her at a shelter for battered women. The visit brought back bad memories.

Xola went to a zoo afterwards, trying to forget the memories. She took a long shower once she was home, washing off the memories. Her father phoned her.

"That crazy sister of yours has had her husband arrested," he said.

"Which sister?" said Xola.

"Bettina."

"Why?"

"Who can explain the workings of an unstable mind? Her husband says she's unreasonable. Has she contacted you? "

"No," said Xola.

"Let me know if she does."

# CHAPTER FIVE

That Sunday when Xola returned home from church, she found Msimang on her doorstep.

"I've been phoning you all day, why were you ignoring my calls?" he asked.

"I switched my phone off when I went to church. What are you doing here?" returned Xola.

"Aren't you going to invite me into your home?"

"No. What do you want?"

"You." Xola's heart seemed to stop, then it pounded furiously.

"You want me to do what?" she asked, her face turned from him to hide how happy his words had made her.

"I want you to be my woman." Xola looked at him.

"You want me to be your latest yes-woman? I'm not interested. Go away," she said dismissively.

She unlocked her front door and entered her home. She turned to bid Msimang goodbye, and bumped her chest against his. Her breath hissed out of her chest. She felt Msimang's hands on her waist, stopping her from falling. She drew back quickly.

"Go away," she said.

"You want me, and I want you."

"Chemistry is not a relationship."

"Xola..."

"Are you prepared to marry me?"

"Marriage spoils things."

"Marriage is the only thing I'm interested in."

"We don't need it."

"I do. Go now."

"Xola..."

"Go!" said Xola, then she ran to the bathroom and wept. When she was done, she washed her face. She found Msimang in the kitchen.

"I told you to go away," she said.

"You were upset, I was worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"How can I help?"

"You can leave."

"I'm not going to do that." Xola turned on her heel and went to her bedroom. She sat on the bed and closed her eyes.

"Nkulunkulu, help me to heal completely, and heal sis Bettina. Help her to stay away from that...help her to stay out of harm's way. Help my sisters, friends, and all girls and women to steer clear of violence. Amen," she prayed.

"What violence are you talking about?" asked Msimang. Xola opened her eyes.

"That was a private prayer, between me and Nkulunkulu!" she said, annoyed with him for eavesdropping.

"What violence?"

"Domestic violence, okay? Domestic violence. My sister left her husband because he beat her. She laid charges against him, and he's been arrested. I went to see her after church. It brought back memories of how scared and miserable I was while I was with my ex-boyfriend. He used to hit me, sometimes for a reason, sometimes for no reason. You talk the way he did."

"I don't beat women!" Msimang said, sounding insulted.

"Why not? Isn't it culturally acceptable?"

"I don't do it! It disgusts me."

"You expect a yes-woman. That bastard did too. He had certain expectations of women, they should do this, and never do that. He wanted me to be exactly the way the woman in his mind was, and when I wasn't, which was most times, he'd beat me to help me be a proper woman. I vowed when I left him that I'd never again get involved with someone who refuses to accept me as I am. I want you to leave now. I don't want to see, or think about men who hurt women."

"I don't beat women!"

"Maybe you tell them all the time that there's something wrong with them, just because you won't accept them for who they are. I need for you to get out. Now!" she said, looking at him as if she would be pushed over the edge if he did not go. She banged the front door shut after he left. Not wanting to be alone, she picked up her handbag and drove to Carol's.

She knocked on the door, there was no response, she knocked several times, then she tried the door. It opened. She found Carol and Danie in the lounge, kissing and disrobing each other. She burst into loud sobs, frightening them. They dressed hurriedly, then Carol put her arms round Xola. Xola told her about sis Bettina and about her latest experience with Msimang.

After a while, the tears stopped. Xola went to wash her face in the bathroom. When she returned to the lounge, she found Danie, Carol, Mpho, Lionel, and Msimang. He stood when he saw her.

"Why are you here?" she asked tiredly.

"You were upset, I wanted to be sure you were alright."

"I don't need looking after."

"Xola, sorry to send you away, but we're going to Danie's parents' home, and Mpho and Li have an appointment somewhere else," said Carol.

"I'll stay here till you come back."

"I'll be back tomorrow, after work." Xola sat down, feeling alone and lonely.

"I'll take you home," said Msimang.

"I don't want to go there, and I don't want to be alone."

"You won't go home, and you won't be alone. Come," said Msimang, helping Xola to her feet. He put an arm round her waist. She faced him and held him tight. He held her just as tightly.

"Xola. We have to go now," he said. She nodded and let him lead her away.

After some time, she realised she was in a car, and that she was not driving. She noticed Msimang beside her.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked. He did not reply, but shortly afterwards, he stopped the car.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"My father's house."

"Why?"

"You said you don't want to be alone."

"You can't leave me here."

"I won't leave you." Xola looked deep into his eyes and nodded.

In the house, she was introduced to Mrs Msimang, who looked at her suspiciously. Msimang snr joined them. He was in a good mood, and Xola's desire to leave dissipated.

"What's wrong, ntombazana?" he asked.

"Xola needs to rest. I'll show her to a bedroom," said Msimang. Xola followed him to a bedroom.

"Do you need help with anything?" he asked. Xola shook her head.

"If you need anything, phone me, okay, Xola?" he said. Xola nodded. Msimang left. Xola lay curled up on the bed. She wanted to sleep, but sleep would not come. She took a long hot bath, then she dressed. She realised she was hungry.

She opened the door and hovered uncertainly. There were many doors either side of her, she did not know where to start looking for the kitchen. She did not want to meet Mrs Msimang and see those suspicious eyes again. She decided to wait till morning. Her heart pounded when she heard footsteps. She looked up.

"Xola, are you alright?" asked Msimang. He was coming towards her.

"I'm hungry," said Xola.

"Come, I'll show you the kitchen. Help yourself to anything you want." Xola looked about the big, beautiful kitchen.

"I have to make a call, I'll be back," said Msimang. Xola nodded. She made herself a sandwich, then she ate it. Afterwards, she decided to cook breakfast for the family. She closed the kitchen door, looked at the available food, and started working. A long while later, the kitchen door opened and closed. Xola looked up.

"What are you doing?" asked Msimang.

"I was cooking."

"You can't possibly eat all of that."

"It's for your parents' breakfast."

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to. If I sleep, I'll dream about...things best forgotten. Help yourself to anything you like." Msimang sat down and sampled everything.

"You're a great cook," he said. Xola smiled at him and finished washing up.

"All bad patches end," Msimang said out of the blue. Xola looked at him.

"You'll replace the bad memories with good ones, and you need never be afraid to sleep again," he said. Xola nodded. She dried her hands and put the dishcloth away.

Msimang stood and approached her. He stopped directly infront of her, watching her. Her heart was pounding. The look in his eyes left no doubt that he found her desirable.

He caressed her cheek. She gasped, his touch was gentle, and she wanted him to touch her forever. He lowered his head and kissed her gently. He drew his head back and looked into her eyes. He looked at her lips and kissed her again.

The kiss was gentle, then it became firmer. Xola felt Msimang put his arms round her. The kiss grew longer, and deeper. Xola put her arms round Msimang's neck, kissing as deeply as she was being kissed. She gasped and broke the kiss, feeling his tumescence against her belly. She looked into his eyes. He kissed her again, then she felt his hand on her breast.

He caressed her, then he lowered his hand. She felt him caressing her between the legs, over her trousers. She broke the kiss again as her body shuddered with pleasure. She had not been touched in so long that the merest touch was driving her over the edge.

The pleasure shudders ended, and she stilled, her head on his shoulder. She drew away from him. He was watching her with a strange expression on his face.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that," she said.

"To do what?" Xola looked away from him, embarrassed that he wanted her to spell out what she meant.

"You didn't mean to kiss me back, or you didn't mean to have an orgasm?" he asked. She felt her cheeks heat.

"Both."

"I'm not sorry I kissed you, and I'm glad I gave you pleasure. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Xola."

"I was selfish."

"You were beautiful. It's me who should apologise for taking advantage of you when you're vulnerable. Please believe that I don't make a habit of seducing vulnerable women."

"What kind of women do you seduce?" Xola was as surprised by the question as was Msimang. They shared a long look.

"I'll try and sleep," said Xola. She drew a deep breath at the desire in Msimang's eyes.

"I'm going out," he said.

"You said you wouldn't leave me!" said a panicked Xola.

"If you come with me, neither of us will get any sleep," he said. Xola nodded, out of her mind with excitement.

"I'm not going to marry you," said Msimang. Xola's mood plummeted instantly.

"Goodnight," she said and went to her bedroom. She lay on it fully clothed. She could not believe that she had almost gone to bed with Msimang. She would have enjoyed it, but she would also have regretted it. She heard his car drive off and turned over in her bed. She fell asleep after a long while.

In the morning, she found him with his parents in the dining room. There was a strange young woman also present. Xola gave a general greeting as she sat down. She was disappointed that the food at the table was not the food she had prepared.

Mrs Msimang introduced the young woman as Stephanie, the daughter of friends of the family. She went on to say she hoped Stephanie and Isaac would marry and join the two families.

"Stephanie's closer to Paul's age. Fix her up with him," said Msimang.

"You're the one who needs a wife now," said Mrs Msimang.

"I'm not looking for a wife."

"Why not? Do you want to spend your time seducing strange young women in my kitchen?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You and this girl you brought to my home. Did you intend to disrespect me when you brought her here?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why did you have to wait for the middle of the night to kiss and carry on with her?" Xola was so embarrassed she wished she could vanish.

"Please, don't set me up with anyone, Ma. I'm not interested in marriage," said Msimang.

"You will get married, Isaac. What kind of example are you setting for your son? What can your nieces and nephews learn when they see you womanising?"

"I am not womanising!"

"Marry Stephanie and put a stop to your bad behaviour."

"Let him choose his own woman. I think MaMkhize would be a great addition to the family," said Msimang snr.

"We don't know her or her people," said Mrs Msimang.

"Xola and I will be leaving now," said Msimang, getting to his feet. Xola thanked the Msimangs for their hospitality, and followed him out of the room. She fetched her handbag and joined Msimang in his car.

He was livid.

"I didn't mean to cause problems with your family," said Xola. Msimang did not respond.

"Drop me off anywhere, I'll make my own way home," Xola said.

"No," Msimang said curtly.

"I don't want to be any trouble."

"Phone Carol and find out if you can fetch your car," Msimang said firmly. Xola phoned Carol, who said she could fetch her car. Msimang drove to Carol's.

"Thank you," said Xola, climbing out of his car. He did not respond, or look at her. She spoke briefly to Carol, then she drove home. She had just closed the front door, when someone knocked on it. She opened it.

Msimang entered uninvited. He went to sit in the lounge. Xola closed the door and followed him, wondering why he was there. She sat down opposite him. Several times, he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I want a relationship with you," he said. Xola was taken aback.

"Why so surprised? After that kiss last night, this shouldn't be a surprise."

"Chemistry is all we have," said Xola.

"I want more than sex from you."

"I'm not a yes-woman, and that's what you want."

"We can make things work."

"Your ideas of women go against my beliefs, and mine go against yours. We'd always be fighting."

"Xola..."

"I can't abide hatred of women."

"I don't hate women!" Xola shrugged and stood.

"Thank you for being kind to me when I needed it. Now, please leave," she said.

"Why?" Msimang asked, clearly surprised.

"This conversation is over, it's time to terminate it."

"We can talk about something else."

"I don't want to talk."

"Let me stay a while longer, please, Xola." Xola cursed herself for being susceptible to him.

"I'll go and get drinks," she said.

"Let's go out."

"I don't want to."

"Please!" said Msimang. He looked as if he was at the end of his tether.

"We'll take our own cars," said Xola. Msimang told her of a restaurant nearby, then he left.

Xola drove to meet him, wondering what she hoped to gain when she knew that nothing good would result from the meeting. She found him seated at a table. He watched her as she approached. She frowned, telling her heart to stop jumping with excitement. She sat down and looked at him. He was watching her.

"How's your family?" he asked. She drew back, surprised.

"My family?"

"You mentioned parents and a sister. Is that your whole family?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"It's a good way to get to know someone."

"Mr Msimang..."

"Ike. You know my name is Ike."

"Ike, we don't need to know any more about each other."

"I want to know."

"I have three sisters."

"Are you the eldest?"

"I'm third in line."

"Do you get on well with them?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"We haven't talked about you. Are your parents all the family you have?"

"I have a brother and two sisters."

"Are you the eldest? You do a lot of business with your father, you must be the heir."

"No, I'm not. I think it would break Ma's heart if I was. I never do things she approves of. As it is, the heir does everything right in her eyes."

"What number are you in the family?"

"Four." Xola looked at him as if she was seeing him from a different perspective. She would never have thought he was the baby of the family.

"Do you get on with your siblings?" she asked. He nodded. She looked away from him, wishing that she and her sisters got on well.

"Why don't you get on with your sisters?" asked Ike.

"They call me names."

"Why?"

"Because they all married their first boyfriends, and I didn't. They said I was whoring. I see you agree with them."

"I didn't say that."

"I saw it on your face. I'd better go."

"It's loose women who destroy society."

"So I'm a loose woman?"

"You should have stayed a virgin till you married."

"Were you a virgin when you married?"

"That's different."

"Why am I even asking you when I know exactly how you think?"

"You do not."

"You think like Clive. He made sure I knew his thoughts, and when I hear your ideas, I know exactly what you think. I'm going home," she said.

She found sis Dora waiting for her.

"Is everything alright?" she asked

"I've come for sis Bettina," said sis Dora.

"Why do you think she's with me?"

"You're the immoral one, you're bound to support such bad behaviour. Where's Sisi?"

"I don't know."

"You're lying."

"I suggest you leave."

"If you won't tell me, Baba will get it out of you," said sis Dora.

Xola wondered why she had been born into a family that so clearly found her distasteful.

She returned home from work the next day and found her parents waiting for her.

"Where's Bettina? Tell me this instant," commanded Baba. Xola greeted her parents and offered to take them to see sis Bettina. She phoned sis Bettina, and told her that she was bringing their parents to see her, then she drove to the shelter.

Sis Bettina was waiting for Xola and their parents. She was in a combative mood.

"If you've come to take me back to that man, you'll have to kill me first," she said. Xola gasped.

"That is not the way to talk, my child," said Ma.

"I'm not going back."

"The man paid amalobolo."

"I'm not going back!"

"What could be beyond repair, my child? All couples quarrel, then they talk and fix things."

"I'm filing for divorce."

"Bettina!" gasped Ma.

"Yeyi wena, get in the car, let's go," commanded Baba.

"Can you see that I have bruises and a sling?" asked sis Bettina.

"So what?"

"Your son-in-law did this."

"What had you said or done?"

"That is immaterial! He had no right to hit me!"

"He's your husband! He has a right to discipline you."

"He doesn't have a right to hit me, for whatever reason."

"Think of your children," said Ma.

"How will it help them to see their mother being beaten?" asked sis Bettina.

"They need you."

"I know," sis Bettina said tearfully. Quickly, she wiped away the tears.

"I'm not going back, and tell that man if he comes near me, he'll be arrested again. Is he out on bail?" she asked.

"Yes, I bailed him out. His family said I owe it to them as my child had caused him to be arrested for nothing," said Baba.

"Goodbye," said sis Bettina as she left them in the car park.

Xola looked at her parents. Ma had tears in her eyes. Baba was watching Sisi in disbelief.

"What is wrong with your sister? Doesn't she understand the problems she's causing this family?" he demanded.

"I'll take you to sis Dora's," said Xola.

When sis Dora was told what had happened, she turned accusing eyes on Xola.

"Sisi can only have been fed rubbish by Xola. She's the one whose head is full of nonsense about women being equal to men. How could Sisi take advice from someone who has no man?" Xola made her goodbyes and left immediately, vowing to keep avoiding her sisters.

On Friday, she was relieved to be going home after work. She had plans to spend the weekend at home, alone, watching movies and eating junk food.

She switched off her cell phone as soon as she was home. She freshened up, got into her pyjamas, took some cake, juice and pies to the lounge, and selected a movie. She watched a soppy movie and was half way through the second one, when she decided not to watch women who ended up living happily ever after, because they made her feel more lonely. She watched some comedies, then she fell asleep.

When she woke up in the morning, she lay looking at the ceiling. She needed a new man, one who would help her get over Ike. She would not spend another second fantasizing about him. She decided to look into internet dating the following week.

She showered and dressed in her favourite red miniskirt, and a short sleeved yellow top that showed her bosom to advantage. She wore red sandals and decided to go window-shopping.

She was amazed by the male attention she received. It was flattering, as was Ike's, but in all circumstances, nothing would come of it. She was looking at a book in a bookshop, when she heard her name called.

Her blood went cold. She put the book away before her shaking hands dropped it. She took several deep breaths and reminded herself that Clive could no longer hurt her.

"Xolani, I'm talking to you," said Clive.

"What do you want?" she said.

"You look like a whore."

"How I look is none of your business."

"Does your man let you dress that way?"

"Go away," Xola said loudly.

"You're begging to be reminded to be respectful." Xola felt her blood boil. She moved close to him and put her face close to his.

"If you ever lay a hand on me again, be sure to kill me, because if you don't, I...will...kill...you," she said with certainty. He laughed uneasily. Xola had never threatened him, she had always backed down when he had threatened her.

"Get away from me," she said loudly. Clive looked about to see who was watching. Xola took the opportunity to leave. She expected him to call her back, or pull on her arm, he did neither of those things.

Xola went to her car and drove off. She was nearing her home when she realised that Clive was following her. She did not think he knew her address and intended to keep it that way.

She drove past her home area, and still, Clive followed her. She drove to Ike's home. Clive drove past her as she waited for Ike's gate to open. She drove in and sat in the car.

The car door opened from outside. She noticed Ike. He helped her out of the car, she was shaking and close to tears.

"What's the matter? Xola? What's happened?" he said.

"Clive," said Xola.

"Clive?"

"The man who used to hit me."

"Where is he?" Xola suddenly felt silly. For all she knew, Clive might have been minding his own business.

"Xola, where is he?" Xola told him that he had driven past. Ike asked what type of car he drove and Xola told him. He led her into the house, helped her into a seat in the lounge and gave her some water to drink.

"I'll be with you soon," he said. Xola nodded, then he left the room. Xola drank her water and sat back in her chair. It felt good to feel safe. She listened for Ike. She had thought he had gone to make a phone call, but she could not hear his voice. There was complete silence. It suddenly occurred to Xola that maybe Ike had gone to look for Clive.

She ran out of the house, then she stopped. She did not have a remote for the closed gate, she could not go and look for Ike. She could phone him. She was about to go and phone him when the gate opened, and Ike entered. Xola ran to him.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry to have troubled you. I did take self-defence classes, I could have hurt him if he'd hurt me. I just didn't want him to know where I live," she said.

"You did the right thing by coming here. He's gone."

"I'm glad."

"He won't trouble you again."

"Next time I see him, I'll hit him before he hits me."

"He won't come near you."

"How do you know that?"

"If he sees you, he'll cross the street."

"What did you say to him?"

"That's not important. I was about to have a snack, join me."

Xola felt tears in her eyes. Ike had done something wonderful for her, but she still had no chance with him. She looked away from him.

"No, thanks, you've done enough as it is. I'll be off now," she said.

"I don't want to eat alone."

"I have to go, bye," she said, going towards her car.

"Xola, Xola, Xolani," called Ike. She drove off with tears running down her cheeks. She wiped them away angrily, then she phoned Carol and Mpho, inviting them for a late lunch.

While the friends waited for their drinks, Mpho and Carol vied to tell Xola about their relationships with their men.

Mpho and Lionel had pushed their wedding day back because Mpho had to go to China for three months.

Carol said Danie's parents had been shocked when they had met her, but they were getting used to her. Her parents had told her to dump him before he dumped her, but she had decided to enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasted.

"I'm surprised it's still Danie. The man must have staying power," said Mpho.

"I'm also surprised. I think it's because I'm not stressing him about marriage. I know he won't marry me and I'm okay with that."

"Why wouldn't he marry you? You're a wonderful woman," said Xola.

"Racism is illegal on paper, but in practise, it's very much alive. Both our families would have a problem if we married each other. Oh, no," said Carol. She was looking behind Xola.

"What is it?" asked Xola. Carol looked at her.

"It's Clive," she said.

"Oh," said Xola. Her heart was pounding with fear. She was going to stand her ground if he tried it with her. She would not run to Ike every time she saw Clive. She took several deep breaths to calm herself.

"Do you want us to leave?" asked Mpho.

"No, let's enjoy ourselves. Ignore him, I know I will," Xola said with false bravado.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Xola could see that her friends would have preferred to leave. That made her more determined to stay. Their drinks arrived. Her hands were shaking. She thanked the waiter, but she did not touch the drink in case she spilled it.

"Let's order," she said. Everyone gave their orders, but Mpho and Carol were focused on Clive.

"Oh, no, he's seen us," said Carol. Xola's heart beat faster. She held onto her seat to stop herself from fleeing.

"Ignore him," she said between clenched teeth.

"He's coming this way, let's get out of here," said Carol getting to her feet. Xola suddenly felt calm.

"I came here to eat and I'm not leaving till I've done so," she said. Carol sat down. She and Mpho were watching Clive's progress as if he had hypnotised them. He walked past the table without acknowledging any of them.

"He left, Xola. He left," said Carol, not believing what she had seen.

"That's his business," said Xola.

"He didn't say a word to you, he always says nasty things to you."

"Let's talk about something else," said Xola. Her friends kept glancing at the door. They only relaxed when it became clear that he was not coming back. The friends finished their meal and left.

Xola lay on her bed, wondering what Ike had said to Clive. Whatever it was, it had made him more appealing. Xola did not want to find him appealing. She wanted to get him out of her mind. She would stay as far away from him as possible.

She put a reminder in her phone to look up internet dating. She had heard of people meeting over the internet, marrying and being happy together. Perhaps it would work for her too.

It was three days before she had a moment to herself. She looked up some internet dating sites and printed information about some of them. She had just cooked that evening when Carol arrived.

"I've broken up with Danie," she said.

"Why? What happened? I thought you two were going strong," said Xola.

"It wasn't going anywhere." Xola held Carol.

"I'm so sorry," she said. Carol left her arms quickly and made her way to the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?" she asked. Xola followed her and found her opening cupboards, looking for food. She opened the fridge.

"Junk food is exactly what I need," she said, taking out the cake. She put it on the table and noticed papers on there.

"What's this? Internet dating? Xola, are you internet dating?" she demanded.

"Not yet, but I will be soon."

"You?" said Carol in disbelief.

"I want to be married, and since the man I want is not coming to me, I must go to him."

"That is so desperate!"

"I am desperate. I want to get married and have children while my body can still carry children."

"I won't let you do this."

"I'm not asking for permission. I'm going to answer my phone," said Xola. She went to the lounge where the phone was and answered it. She returned to the kitchen when the call ended. She found Carol talking to Mpho on her phone, which was on loudspeaker.

"Did he hurt you?" asked Mpho.

"No."

"Then what went wrong?"

"I don't do unrequited love."

"Did he say he doesn't love you?"

"Even if he loves me, we can't have anything permanent. His family will want him to marry a sweet meisie from Boksburg, and where will I be? I broke up with him before he broke up with me."

"I thought his family liked you?"

"As a girlfriend, not as a wife. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I called to tell you that Xola's internet dating."

"She is not! How can you say that about our friend?"

"She's written out a profile and she's printed information about some of the sites."

"Why?"

"She's looking for a husband."

"That's not the way to go about it."

"Nothing else has worked for me, maybe this will," said Xola.

"What about Ike?" asked Mpho.

"Chemistry is all we had. He's marriage-phobic and wants a yes-woman. I did that with Clive and I'm not doing it again. I'm doing this, and that's final," said Xola. There was a shocked silence.

"Google the sites before you register with them. Bye," said Mpho.

"You must talk to her, your announcement's upset her," said Carol.

"She'll get over it. What have you decided to eat? Carol?" Xola put her arms round a weeping Carol. She wept a long time from the depths of her being. Xola wished she could ease her pain. Carol stopped crying, cleaned her face and sat down.

"I've always been a fool for men, but this is the stupidest thing I've ever done," she said. Xola did not know what to say. She switched on the kettle.

"I was at Mpho's, she had a wedding magazine. I realised then that I can forget about marriage if I stay with Danie. It's taken me two weeks to have the courage to break up with him. I went to his work place. He stood staring at me after my speech. I left quickly, hoping he'd at least try to talk to me, but he hasn't tried. It's been eight hours already. He clearly doesn't care about me. Let's talk about you. What kind of man are you looking for?" asked Carol.

Xola sat down.

"He has to be good looking so our kids can look good," she said.

"Don't be so fickle."

"You are."

"I'm allowed, everyone knows I'm fickle."

"We'll go for full medical tests before the wedding to make sure we can both have children. He must be healthy, he must want children and he must raise them with me. We must have a prenuptial contract about money for the children and about rules for them. I am not raising brats and that happens if parents disagree about child-raising."

"You've really thought about this."

"It's the one thing I want to have done well before I die."

After tea, Carol asked if she could spend the night, Xola agreed. Carol refused to sleep in the guest room because she did not want to be alone. She returned to her home the following morning.

# CHAPTER SIX

Several days later, Xola returned home from work and found Ike on her door step. She approached him with a pounding heart.

"Whatever you're mad about, don't take your anger out on me," she said.

"What is this?" he demanded, waving a paper in her face.

"How am I supposed to know? Can we have this fight on another day, please? Right now, I have a date."

"With who?"

"None of your business."

"Did you meet him on the internet?"

"What do you mean?" Xola asked cautiously. Ike held up the paper in his hand. Xola glanced at it, it was her internet profile.

"Where did you get this?" she demanded.

"Paul gave it to me. Imagine my horror when he told me what you were doing. You're putting your life in danger!"

"I'm being proactive about finding a husband."

"A woman does not look for a man."

"I thought so too, till I got to the age of thirty-one unmarried. I don't even have the prospect of being engaged."

"You're cheapening yourself."

"The important thing is that I make babies while I still can. Please leave, I really do need to go," said Xola. She unlocked her front door and entered her home. She showered, changed and phoned ahead to say she would be late, then she drove off.

When she arrived at her destination, Mpho and Carol were waiting for her at Mpho's tailor's home. They were all measured for wedding outfits. They were leaving when Ike appeared from nowhere.

"What are you doing here?" asked Xola.

"I'll marry you," he said.

"What?" asked a shocked Xola.

"Don't marry this stranger you met on the internet, marry me."

"You don't believe in marriage, you don't want children and you despise women. Clive was the first and last woman-hater I was involved with."

"I am not Clive!"

"You talk and think like him. You probably hit women too."

"I do not!"

"Thanks for the offer, but for both our sakes, I must decline. Bye girls," said Xola as she left.

She was amazed that Ike had offered to marry her. She did not understand what would motivate him to do that. She shrugged and decided to be more serious about finding a husband.

She had flirted with several men over the internet, but there was only one she had swapped life stories with. Perhaps it was time to meet him, and others. She would conduct subtle interviews for the post of her husband. She smiled, excited. She would pick out a wedding dress and check out venues. In twelve months, she wanted to be married.

A few evenings later, she prepared for her date with the man she had exchanged life stories with. An hour before the date, she sent him an email saying she had a family emergency.

She went to Carol's home and knocked on the door. Carol opened it, looking odd. Xola entered the house uninvited and saw a man dressing hurriedly.

"Oh! Oh. I'll go," she said, turning to the door.

"What is going on here?" demanded Danie from the open front door.

"None of your business!" said Carol belligerently.

"You're sleeping with another man behind my back."

"Is this true?" asked the strange man.

"I broke up with you," Carol said to Danie.

"We are in a monogamous relationship. We're going to sort out whatever the problem is and carry on. We have a great relationship," said Danie.

"I want marriage, can you give me that?" Danie drew back, stunned speechless.

"I didn't think so. Goodbye, Danie," said Carol. Danie left in a daze. Carol turned to the strange man.

"You should go," she said.

"But..." he said.

"Just go!" The man left.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted," said Xola.

"I'm glad you did. I'd have hated myself afterwards. You look great. Where are you going?"

"I was going to meet a guy I met over the internet..."

"Xola!"

"...but I chickened out at the last minute."

"Good! How could you even think to..."

"I have a time table. In twelve months, I must be married and at least a few months pregnant."

"You can't plan your life like that."

"I went to a funeral a few weeks ago. It made me realise how short life is, and how important it is to live it the way we want to. Danie came to talk."

"After how long? Where was he all this time? I'm done with him."

"No, you're not. If you were, you'd have told me to leave and let your new friend stay."

"I don't want to hear that."

"Sorry. Can I spend the night?"

"Of course."

When she returned home some days later, she found Ike waiting for her.

"Hi," he said.

"What brings you here?" she asked.

"I brought you something."

"Ike..."

"You haven't even seen what it is. Here," he said, handing her a piece of paper.

"What is it?" she asked, perusing it. It was a medical certificate.

"Why are you showing me this?" she asked.

"It says I'm healthy and I can have children."

"Why tell me this?"

"Because I want to be your husband." Xola's eyes widened.

"You abhor marriage," she said.

"I want to take the chance that you and I will work."

"I've already found someone who wants to marry me." Ike took a step back, a shocked expression on his face. Xola could not believe how stunned he was. She almost told him that she was lying. He stepped towards her, put his hands either side of her head and kissed her. The kiss was full of anger, Xola struggled.

The kiss gentled, she stopped struggling. Ike continued to kiss her persuasively, she kissed him back. He broke the kiss and started kissing her chin and throat. She gasped, feeling his hand on her breast. She remembered the last time he had touched her and twisted away from him. She was not going to be embarrassed again about something that would lead nowhere.

Ike followed her. She felt his hands on her waist, he was behind her. She made to move, he put his arms round her waist. She could feel him all down her back, and she could feel his tumescence. He nibbled on her ear. She closed her eyes.

"I'm getting married," she moaned.

"Name the date, and we'll do it."

"I'm marrying someone else."

"No, you're not."

"We've already registered."

"You can't marry one man when you want another one."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, moving away from him.

"You don't strike me as the type of woman who'd be comfortable fantasizing about another man when you're in bed with your husband. If you marry this stranger, you'll do that, and if I marry someone else, I'll be fantasizing about you."

"Don't be disgusting!"

"I'm being factual, not disgusting."

"We have chemistry, but it won't give me the forever that I want."

"I'll give you forever."

"I don't want it with you!" shouted Xola.

"I'm the only one you can have it with!" Ike shouted back. His phone rang. He took it out of his pocket, looked at it and cursed.

"That's not language a man should use," said Xola.

"I have to go. We're not done," said Ike.

"Yes, we are. I'll send you an invitation to my wedding." Ike gave Xola such a scathing look, she was tempted to take her words back. His phone stopped ringing, then it started again. He answered it as he walked to his car.

Xola could not believe that she and Ike had almost gotten intimate outside her front door. His marriage offer was a bigger surprise. He was making a serious effort to stop her imaginary wedding. She picked up a piece of paper from the floor. It was his medical certificate. She would have it couriered to his offices. She did not want to see him again. Dreaming about things that led nowhere was futile.

She was woken by her ringing phone. It was four o'clock in the morning. Whoever was ringing was going to give her bad news, she ignored the call. Her phone stopped ringing, then it started again. She picked it up to switch it off, then she saw who was calling. Her heart pounded. She made to switch it off, but her finger would not work. She answered the call.

"What do you want? Do you know what time it is?" she asked.

"Open the door, we need to talk," he said.

"Now?"

"I'll keep phoning till you let me in."

"I'll switch off my phone."

"I'll bang on the door till the neighbours call the police."

"Isaac!"

"Open the door." Xola cut the call then she went to open the door. Ike walked in and led the way to the lounge. Xola closed the door and followed him.

"Well?" she said, with her arms folded across her chest.

"Come on a date with me," he said.

"Whatever for?"

"So we can get to know each other."

"That is pointless."

"We're getting married. We have to get to know each other."

"I'm marrying..."

"Me! You're marrying me. Say you'll go on a date with me and I'll leave."

"I..."

"One date, Xola, that's all I'm asking for. If, after the date you tell me to leave you alone, I will." Xola gave him a considering look, then she agreed. They set a time and venue, then Ike left.

Xola could not sleep after that. She tossed and turned, wondering why Ike was suddenly interested in her. She would have to get over her unease and meet some of the men she had communicated with over the internet.

After work the following day, she went to meet Ike. Traffic was heavy. She phoned ahead to say she would be late. When she arrived, she apologised for being late.

"You came, that's the important thing. Sit down," said Ike. Xola sat down and they ordered drinks.

"What is it you want?" asked Xola.

"A relationship with you."

"I've told you..."

"We're not here to talk about the relationship."

"Then why are we here?"

"We're getting to know each other. Thank you for phoning to apologise. The women I dated and the one I married thought it was okay to be late, and saw no need to apologise. They never understood what my problem was when I asked them to let me know. They would come an hour late, an hour I could have spent at work, or somewhere else, instead of warming a seat, wondering if they were coming." The waiter came to take their orders, Ike asked him to give them half an hour.

"We might be gone by then," said Xola.

"Let's wait and see. Give us a chance."

"There's no point. We have nothing beyond chemistry."

"I think we can adapt to each other. I know I'm forty-three years old, and you're thirty-one, but we can make this work. I'm sure we can find middle ground if we try," said Ike. Xola had never thought of that.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked

"Why do you think I'm old fashioned?"

"You think women are useless."

"I don't think that."

"You didn't think I could do your job for you, simply because I'm female."

"You proved me wrong."

"I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm always having to prove my worth. Are you serious about adapting?"

"Yes."

"Then let me pay for this outing," said Xola. She watched as Ike made to protest, then he stopped himself. He looked away from her, clearly unhappy with her words.

"Why is this such a problem for you? I have the money, and I want to pay," she said.

"It's a man's place to provide money."

"If we marry, will you expect me to stop working?"

"Of course. I have more than enough money for you and any children we might have."

"I won't stop working. I need to work."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. Sitting at home all day will drive me crazy."

"How will you raise the children when they'll be competing with your work?"

"They won't be competing."

"Women don't belong in the work area. Work is to pass time, until they marry and do their real jobs, being wives and mothers."

"Did Paul's mother stop working?" Ike's face closed up.

"I don't want to talk about her," he said, looking away from her broodingly.

"Women like her neglect their children and destroy the social fabric by insisting on working," he said.

"Going to work doesn't mean you'll neglect children."

"Look at Paul. He's moody, temperamental and unpredictable. If his mother had stayed home to raise him, he'd be respectful, calm and reasonable."

"He's a teenager! All teenagers behave like that. When he's older, he'll calm down."

"I was never like that as a teenager. I knew my place and respected my father."

"Did you respect your mother?"

"Of course! I had no choice, she beat any disrespect out of me."

"Then why don't you respect women? Do you hate your mother?"

"No! We are not talking about me! We're talking about women, the keepers of morality, refusing to do their jobs by insisting on working, instead of staying home and looking after children properly."

"Would you stay home and look after children?"

"I'm not a woman, it's not my job to do that."

"I'm a woman, and I won't stay home on a full time basis, nor will I let the father of my children leave the child-raising to me alone. I expect the father of my children to do more than donate sperm."

"Don't be disrespectful! Fathers are the most important feature in a child's life. They provide guidance, sustenance, and everything else that a child needs."

"According to you, the mother is supposed to raise the child, why is she not important? The child will spend most of her time with her mother, how does the father become important when he doesn't spend time with the child?"

"Fathers are important!" thundered Ike. Xola looked away from him, close to tears. Nkulunkulu, let me find a reasonable man to love and be loved by, she prayed. She picked up her handbag.

"This will never work," she said tiredly.

"You haven't given us a chance. Typical woman. You have no staying power," said Ike.

"I have no staying power? I have no staying power?" shouted Xola as she stood.

"The father of my dead baby left as soon as I became pregnant. Who had staying power then? Me! A woman. My father left my mother with four children. Four! And she didn't have a degree like me, but she stuck it out and raised us. Who had staying power then? My mother, a woman. You got divorced and left your son..."

"Don't you dare talk about things you know nothing about!" shouted Ike, also on his feet.

"The same applies to you. You don't know me mister. Don't judge me based on some unproven theory men have come up with to excuse themselves from responsibility," said Xola. She put money on the table.

"It's women who are irresponsible, and who cause all the bad things to happen," said Ike.

"Then why the hell don't you mighty men do without us? Why not marry each other and live in a female free zone?"

"Don't be disgusting!"

"You all say such terrible things about us, but you can't live without us."

"Oh yes we can, it's women who can't live without men." Xola gave Ike a long look.

"Stay away from me," she said tiredly, then she left.

She was very disappointed by the way the date had gone. She had hoped, against all evidence, that she and Ike would find a way to make things work between them. She was furious with herself for having been hopeful. Her fury was driven over the edge by her having brought Thomasina into the quarrel she and Ike had engaged in. Thomasina deserved to rest in peace.

Xola hardly slept, she was being eaten alive by guilt for talking about her child. She missed her. She thought of her child often, but in the last few years, there had been no pain, today, the guilt brought the pain back. If Thomasina had been in her life, she would not be wishing for things she could never have, things such as a loving and respectful relationship with Ike.

A few days later, she cancelled all her internet dating memberships, and that made her more lonely. She realised then that she would never have a happy marriage, not unless she got over Ike. She wondered what she would do to achieve that. She phoned her friends over the next few days, neither of them was in a position to meet her. They were busy with their men.

Xola went to Thomasina's grave. The headstone had a beautiful image of Sina. The picture had been taken days before her death. Xola cleaned the headstone and wept. Her child would be in school now. She would be seven years old. Xola put her arms round herself, wanting to die then, as much as she had wanted to die when Sina had died. She had asked Ma why she had stopped her from killing herself.

"You don't deserve to die. You deserve to live and suffer. If you'd waited until that boy married you before sleeping with him, he wouldn't have needed to steal Sina. She would be alive today. You sacrificed her when you whored," Ma had said.

Xola's broken heart had seemed to become ashes. She had been numb for months afterwards. When feeling had returned, it had been pain. That pain was back with a vengeance.

"Sisi, Sisi, you need to go home," a man said. Xola looked up with a tear-stained face. A man was crouched beside her, looking at her.

"Go home. There's nothing you can do for your child here," he said. Xola looked away from him.

"I was here when you buried her. You wanted to throw yourself in with her. I couldn't understand what made you hurt that way. Two years ago, my son died. I thought of you then, and understood your grief. The best thing we can do for our lost children is live, and give those that are living our full attention," the man said.

"I don't have any more," said Xola.

"Then get some. They won't replace this one, but maybe, they'll help you heal."

"Have you healed?"

"No, but I will. And so will you. Go home." They were quiet for a while, then Xola stood. The man stood too and walked her to her car.

"You'll be fine," he said. Xola nodded.

"So will you. Thank you," she said. The man nodded and watched her drive off.

She could not focus at work and decided to take some days off. She went to a bed and breakfast out of town to get away from the memories.

It did not help. She dreamt of Sina's funeral, and that made her feel worse. She took to not sleeping. She was exhausted, moody, weepy and lonely. She lay on her bed, wondering if death would be preferable to what she was going through.

One morning, she woke with a smile. She had had a beautiful dream about Sina. She booked out of the bed and breakfast and returned home.

She had just finished cooking when there was a knock on the door. She went to open it.

"Girls! Hi," she said.

"Where have you been? And what is the matter with you?" demanded Carol

"Are you coming in?"

"We were worried about you. You were off work, we didn't know where you were, neither did Ike, and your family hadn't heard from you. Where have you been?" demanded Mpho. Xola was startled. Mpho seldom raised her voice.

"I needed time out."

"You were starving yourself, weren't you? What happened? Was it Ike?" asked Carol. Xola walked away from the door.

"I'm about to eat, you can join me. But if you do, we talk about what I want to talk about," she said. She sat down and her friends joined her.

"I dreamt about Sina," she said. She watched her friends look at each other with concern.

"She told me to stop crying," she said.

"What made you think of her?" asked Mpho.

"Ike and I quarrelled, and I mentioned her in passing."

"Ike was worried about you."

"He was worried that I'm taking up space that a 'good' woman should be occupying."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let's eat," Xola said, as she dished up. She ate, her friends picked at their food.

"I thought you were hungry," she said. They did not respond.

"I'm sorry to have worried you. I should have told you where I was. I'm fine now, and life can only get better," she said. Her friends were not convinced.

Xola returned to work. She felt better about everything. Often, she would be caught off guard by mental images of Ike. She would have very arousing dreams about him, and wake up frustrated. She had to get over him and get on with her life.

# CHAPTER SEVEN

She was lying awake in bed one evening, wondering how not to think about Isaac, when it came to her.

She would find out about adoption and get some children. She would love them unconditionally, and teach them to love unconditionally too. She sat up and put a reminder in her phone, just to be on the safe side. She fell asleep with a smile.

Over the next few days, she read up on adoption. She met up with her friends to try on the wedding outfits.

"We all look fantastic," said Mpho.

"Yes, we do. Carol, what's the matter?" asked Xola.

"I'm pregnant," said Carol.

"Oh! Congratulations."

"I don't want to be congratulated! What am I going to do with a baby? A coloured baby. Mama's not going to look after it, and I don't see Danie's mother looking after it, so what am I going to do? If I'd found out sooner, I'd have gone for an abortion, but I'm five and half months gone."

"What will you do?" asked Mpho.

"Give it up for adoption." Mpho and Xola watched as Carol turned this way and that infront of the mirror.

"I'll adopt the baby," said Xola. Mpho and Carol looked at her.

"I want children, I'm looking into adoption," Xola continued.

"What about Ike?" asked Mpho.

"What about him?"

"Aren't you making babies with him?"

"No! If we ever talk to each other again, it will be a miracle. I've stopped internet dating and I'm going to adopt two children."

"Don't you want them to be your own flesh and blood?"

"I want them, regardless of how I get them. Carol, you can come with me when I go to see a social worker about adoption."

"No! You can't adopt this child. I'd see it every time I visit you and remember what a fool I was over its father," said Carol. Mpho and Xola watched as she drew in several breaths to stop herself from crying.

"Mpho, you should get another bridesmaid. I'll be huge by the time you get married," she said.

"I don't care about size, as long as I have my best friends with me," said Mpho.

"I'll need a bigger gown."

"No problem. Xola, are you sure about adoption?"

"Yes."

"Your parents won't like it."

"There's not much that they or my sisters like about me."

"I thought you wanted a husband first," said Carol.

"I do, but until I get over my crush on Ike, I don't seem able to take an interest in anyone else."

"Ike likes you."

"We have chemistry and irreconcilable differences. I'll adopt the children and maybe, marry later."

"You're really serious," marvelled Mpho.

"Yes, I am."

"Carol, tell Danie about the baby," said Mpho.

When Xola arrived home, Ike was waiting for her.

"I told you to stay away from me," she said.

"I'd have been here sooner, but I've been out of the country," he said.

"I don't care!"

"I was very concerned when your friends said they couldn't find you. I came by several times, but you weren't here. Where were you? Are you alright?"

"Go away!"

"Tell me about your child." Xola looked at him in shock.

"I want to understand," he said. Xola looked away from him.

"She was born then she died, end of story," she said.

"It hurts you to think of her."

"Who says it hurts me? I'm fine."

"I see it on your face and hear it in your voice."

"So you've come to make me feel pain?"

"I've come to offer you comfort." Xola looked at Ike, amazed by his words.

"There's no need. She's with Nkulunkulu, I can't ask for any better for her," she said, as she unlocked her front door.

"What happened?" asked Ike.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. Ike looked tired. She took his hand and led him into her home. She closed the front door and led him to the guest bedroom. She took off his jacket, then she started undoing his shirt buttons. He kissed the side of her neck.

"Isaac!" she said in warning, as she pushed his face away.

"I love the way you say me name," he said softly. He put his hands on her waist and nuzzled her neck. She felt warm and fuzzy. She moved her neck away from his mouth.

"Stand still," she said firmly. He straightened and stilled. She undid all his shirt buttons and spread the shirt open. She had meant to take it off him and help him into bed, but she was side-tracked by the sight of all that bare masculinity. She stared at his chest as if she had never seen one before. She could not seem to stop herself from caressing him, and then planting little kisses on him.

She gasped when he put his hands on her waist and drew her body close to his. She kissed the side of his neck, then she raised her head to look at him. He was looking at her with desire. They panted, watching each other. She ran her hands between them to his belly and started undoing his belt buckle. She started when put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away.

"What do you think you're doing, you forward woman? It's not your place to initiate intimacy!" he said, pulling his shirt closed. Xola was surprised by his outburst, then she laughed.

"Relax, I was trying to help you into bed, then I was going to go and sleep in my own bed," she said.

"How dare you..."

"Sleep well. If you get hungry, you know where to find food," Xola said, then she left.

She freshened up, admitting to herself that the sight of Ike's chest had made her mad to be intimate with him. If he had not called a halt, she knew she would be having her way with him. He was gorgeous and smelled fantastic, she thought, smiling. Her smile faded. She was never going to sleep with him, appreciating his physical attributes was a waste of time. She dressed, reaffirming her resolve to adopt children. That was going to succeed, unlike whatever hopes she had about Ike.

In the kitchen, she looked over the adoption brochures she had been collecting. She wanted to write down questions for the social worker she was going to meet. She looked up when she heard footsteps. Ike entered the room. He had done up all his shirt buttons. Xola smiled slightly at how prim he looked.

"Sit down, I'll warm dinner in a few minutes," she said, then she returned to the brochures. She heard Ike sit down.

"What is this?" he demanded. Xola looked up at him. He was holding several brochures in one hand and frowning at her.

"You can see what they are," she said.

"What are they for?"

"I'm going to adopt some children."

"What?" he shouted, getting to his feet.

"I'm finding out what I can about adoption, then I'll register to adopt."

"Why?" roared Ike.

"I want children and I'm going to get them. What are you getting so excited about?"

"What happened to getting married and having children the normal way?"

"The husband I want is incompatible with me, and since no other man will do, I must do without a man, but I don't have to be without children."

"This single parent phenomenon destroys society. You and I are getting married, then you'll have your children."

"I'm not marrying you. Go sit in the lounge, I'll bring the food when it's ready," said Xola. Ike looked at her uncomprehendingly.

"Go," Xola said firmly. Ike turned to leave, then he looked at Xola.

"We're not done," he said.

"We both need time out. Go." Ike left. Xola packed her papers away and warmed some food. She put it on a tray and took it to the lounge, vowing not to get into arguments with Ike.

She found him seated, deep in thought.

"Supper's ready," she said. Ike raised his eyes to her.

"This adoption thing has to stop now," he said.

"Would you like tea, coffee, or juice?" asked Xola.

"Listen to me!"

"You haven't answered my question," she said, turning to go back to the kitchen. She could hear him following her.

"I forbid you to do this!" he commanded.

"Keep those words and that tone for your children, not me. Tea or coffee?"

"What will your parents say? Do your friends approve of this?"

"I've made tea, drink it, or not. Let's go and sit down," Xola said, taking the tea things to the lounge. She sat down, listening to Ike arguing his case against adoption. She finished eating and took her dishes to the kitchen. He followed her.

"Why won't you listen to me?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"My mind's made up. Good night," said Xola, going to her bedroom.

She came awake suddenly. The light was on, she had switched it off when she had gone to sleep. She sat up and almost screamed. Someone was in the room with her.

"It's me, Xola, it's Ike," said the man.

"Isaac! Are you trying to scare me to death?" she demanded. He did not respond. He was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What happened to your child?" he asked. Xola drew back, surprised.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me." Xola closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She opened her eyes and looked at her hands.

"Her father dumped me as soon as I became pregnant. Ma insisted we tell his family. They accused me of lying and trying to pass off another man's child as theirs. I couldn't believe that Martin, my first lover, could talk like that about me.

"Sina was sweet, so sweet. She made me forget her father's rejection. I hired someone to look after her while I was at work.

"When she was two years old, her father and his family came to claim her."

"What?"

"I reminded them that they'd called me a liar, and they accused me of being the liar and stealing their child. I filed custody papers, but those people were not going to let anything get in their way.

"They took her from my home while I was at work. They told the lady looking after her that I had sanctioned her going out with her father. She let them take her.

"I arrived home from work, and there was no sound from Sina. I looked for her in the bedroom, thinking she was asleep, but she wasn't there. I asked my child-minder where my child was, and she told me about her father fetching her. I laid a kidnapping charge against Sina's father.

"I couldn't sleep and I couldn't work. Two days later, the police fetched me to go and identify Sina's body." Ike gasped.

"Her father had been drinking when he took her from my home. He drove into another car. Sina was the only casualty. He was a little hurt, that's all.

"I know I can never replace Thomasina, and I don't want to, but I do want children. Sina's been gone five years. It's time for me to live now. I'm going to the best mother alive," said Xola.

"You need a father for your children," said Ike.

"I want a hands-on father, not an absentee one. I had one, Sina had one, none of my other children will have that. I'll raise them alone, or have a hands-on father for them."

"I won't be an absentee father."

"You'll leave all the child-raising to me. I may as well be a single parent."

"I don't have it in me to raise children."

"Then you'll stop trying to stop me from doing what I need to do. I have a long day tomorrow. Goodnight," said Xola, lying down.

"Don't adopt," said Ike.

"Switch off the light on your way out."

Xola tossed and turned under her blankets. She had covered her head to hide from the light and Ike. He was still sitting on the bed. Xola sat up.

"I know I failed Sina. Knowing that hurts me every time I think about how needlessly she died," she said, with tears in her eyes. Annoyed with herself for proving to Ike she could cry, she climbed out of bed and went to cry in the bathroom. She felt Ike put his arms round her and pushed him off.

"I'm fine!" she said angrily. Ike left. Xola brought herself under control, cleaned her face and returned to her bedroom.

She found Ike still on her bed.

"You didn't fail Sina," he said.

"I should have been there, but I was at work. She'd have died from starvation if I hadn't worked."

"I know, that's why I say you didn't fail her."

"Goodnight," said Xola, climbing into bed. She heard Ike get off the bed and switch off the light.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, hearing his clothes rustling.

"Undressing."

"Go and do that in your own bedroom."

"I need to hold you, and I think you need to be held."

"I managed alone before, I'll do it again now."

"You don't have to," said Ike, climbing into bed beside Xola.

"Isaac! What are you doing?" she demanded, as he put his arms round her.

"I'm holding you, I want you to know that you're not alone."

"You're naked! You want to accuse me of seduction."

"I want you to sleep well, that's all. Let me be here for you, Xola." Xola stopped struggling. Ike moved closer to her.

"Relax. You're so stiff," he said. She turned away from him. He spooned in behind her, holding her close. She closed her eyes, feeling a lump in her throat. She felt a kiss on her nape, and the tears she had been holding back fell. She tried to cry quietly, but the sobs would not be suppressed. Ike held her closer, telling her she was fine.

She turned to him and felt him turn onto his back. He cradled her tenderly, her face against his chest. Eventually the tears stopped.

"Sorry," said Xola. She used one hand to hold a piece of the sheet covering them. She used her other hand to caress his chest, trying to feel for wet spots wanting to dry them with the sheet. She wondered why Ike's heart beat was picking up speed. She wiped a spot and sought another one.

"Stop that now," said Ike.

"I'm trying to dry the spots where I made you wet."

"Don't!"

"I'm just trying..."

"If you carry on with that, I'll strip you, and..."

Xola gasped and stilled. The image of Ike stripping her excited her. She felt her nipples harden, and the rest of her body responded welcomingly to Ike's nakedness. One of her legs was bent, lying on one of Ike's legs. She gasped, feeling his erection against her knee. She peered at him in the dark. She could only see his outline. She heard his accelerated breathing and heard herself breathe in time with him.

"You should move off me," he said in a deep voice. She did not seem able to do that. She gasped, feeling his big, hot hand high on her outer thigh. He removed his hand quickly.

"You need to get your leg off me. I can feel that your nipples are hard, I want to suck them, and..." Xola moved her leg and chest off Ike. He climbed out of bed and left the room. Xola put a hand in her mouth to stop herself from calling him back. She heard him in the shower, and immediately, she could see his big body, with water running down it in her mind. She covered her head with a pillow to stop herself from hearing him.

It was a long time before she fell asleep. She kept reliving the feel of Ike against her in her bed, then she remembered the way he had touched her at his parents' home. She wanted to scream with sexual frustration. She remembered Ike telling her that he would not marry her, and the desire died instantly. She did not want to have more children with living fathers who ignored them.

When she climbed out of bed, Ike's clothes were on the bed, and some were on the floor. She put them on a chair, made the bed, and went to shower. She kept smelling Ike, as if he had just showered. When she returned to her room, his clothes were gone. She dressed and found him in the lounge. They stood in silence.

"Thanks for..." said Xola.

"I'm off," he said, then he left.

Later in the day, Xola and Carol met at a social worker's office to talk about adoption. Carol wept as she talked about giving up her child. The social worker suggested she think about it some more, before deciding what to do with the baby, and to let the baby's father know she wanted to give the child up. Xola asked for registration papers. The sooner everything was in place, the sooner she would have children, and the sooner Ike would be out of her mind.

She slept in the guest bedroom because in her bedroom, she kept thinking of herself and Ike in her bed. A few evenings later, he visited her.

"Look at this," he said, putting books in her hands. They were all about fathering. Xola looked at him enquiringly.

"You don't want an absentee father for your children, I'm reading about what I can do to be a hands-on father," said Ike.

"What do you mean?" asked Xola, bending to put the books on the table in the lounge. She straightened and looked at Ike. He had been looking at her bottom, he had liked what he had seen. He looked from below her waist to her face.

"I can change diapers, I can feed the baby from a bottle, I can take the child for walks, I can even put baby's clothes in the washing machine and hang them out. I didn't know that," he said, excitedly. Xola shrugged. Ike approached her.

"I've read up on adoption," he said.

"Why?"

"Because you're so determined to go through with it. If you want a newborn baby, you'll have to wait a while. Why not have your own?" Xola gave him a long look.

"Are you suggesting I go to a sperm bank?" she asked.

"No! Marry me, and I'll give you all the babies you want." Xola looked away from Ike, clearly unimpressed by his words.

"I've been with women before, but I got rid of them when they challenged my beliefs. I tried that with you, but you won't be dismissed. When you challenge my beliefs, I think about compromising. I'm not big on it, but I'll do it for you," said Ike.

"There's no need for that."

"As long as we talk to each other, and work on finding middle ground, we can make it."

"Raising children is hard enough without adding problems with your spouse."

"I'm adaptable. I'm reading about being an active father."

"Reading and doing are two different things."

"I'll be hands-on, Xola, because I want to give you everything you want." Xola gave him a considering look, then she sat down. Ike sat beside her.

"I don't want you to resent me for making you do things that go against your beliefs," she said.

"I won't resent you."

"Will you have other women beside me?"

"Why do you ask me that?"

"Yes or no?"

"I might."

"When you do that, can I have other men beside you?"

"Never!"

"I could never be in a relationship with a man and have to wonder all the time if he's checking out other women."

"Men will always need more than one woman."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Xola. She collected Ike's books, put them in his hands, and led the way to the front door. She opened it and turned to him. He had followed her.

"Thank you for coming. Good luck finding the women who can live with that kind of arrangement. I'll adopt my two children, and..." she said

"No! You and I..."

"It would never be you and I. It would be you and several women. I cannot, and will not do the several-women-to-one-man routine."

"It's our culture!"

"Good luck, Ike, and goodbye," said Xola, ushering Ike out of her home. She closed the door and locked it. He knocked and banged on it, calling her name. She ignored him. Eventually, he left.

She returned to the kitchen and tried to fill in the adoption forms, but she could not focus. She was saddened by the thought of never seeing Ike again. She phoned Mpho.

"I really like Ike," she said.

"He likes you, too," said Mpho.

"He wants to have more than one woman at the same time."

"Oh! What did you say?"

"I told him to find someone who can be party to that with joy. I could never do it. I'd lie awake in bed wondering if he was touching another woman the way he touches me. It would be a slow poison in my blood, killing me." They were both quiet.

"Did you hear about Danie and Carol?" asked Mpho.

"No."

"They met in a supermarket. Carol's showing now, and right there, in public, Danie demanded to know why she hadn't told him they were having a baby. She swore he wasn't the father, but he didn't believe her. He's since moved in with her."

"How's she taking it?"

"Not well. I'm sorry about Ike."

Xola was packing away her work things the following afternoon when Ike walked into her office. Her heart thumped with excitement.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"The least you can do is appreciate that I've been honest with you."

"I do appreciate it."

"Then let's get married."

"No thanks, I don't want to die and leave my children at the mercy of your other women."

"You won't die."

"I'll die from STDs, a broken heart and disappointment."

"Disappointment?"

"That you don't value me as I value you."

"Of course I value you."

"Then why won't I be enough for you?"

"You're being childish."

"And you're being insulting. I won't be with someone who not only doesn't value me, but who also insults me for disagreeing with him. I have nothing to say to you, and there's nothing you can say that I want to hear," said Xola, then she left. On an impulse, she went to Carol's home.

She found Danie there.

"Carol's not back from work," he said. Xola looked about. Danie had moved in with all his possessions. The home was cluttered with furniture and film making equipment.

"We need a bigger home, we're working on it," said Danie.

"You don't owe me any explanations."

"You looked as if you were wondering how we manage to live with all this chaos around us. Sit down. How are you?"

"Alright, thanks. How are you?" Danie sat down.

"I'm fighting the most important battle of my life," he said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Carol. You'd think I was here to murder her. All I want is to carry on loving her, and to love our baby, but she won't let me near her. I tried talking to her, but the sound of my voice seems to grate on her nerves."

"Surely not, she's crazy about you."

"She must have stopped loving me."

Danie asked Xola if she wanted something to drink, then he went to get the drinks. They drank in silence.

"What do you want from her?" asked Xola. Danie was taken aback. She realised she had sounded like an overprotective parent.

"It's none of my business," she said.

"I wish Carol would ask me that...I want to support her, in all the ways that matter to her. I want to rub her feet, her back, and do anything else that will relieve her of pain and stress. I want to hold her all night long and go to all doctor's visits with her. I want us to share the pregnancy experience, and I want us to return to that cherishing place we'd created," said Danie.

"You never told me that," said Carol. She was standing at the open front door. Xola put down her drink.

"I'll be off," she said.

She returned home and filled in as much of the adoption form as she could, then she slept. She was woken by her ringing phone.

"Xola, come home this weekend. We want you all here," said Baba. Xola closed her eyes. She did not want to be among people who disapproved of her.

"I'll be there on Saturday afternoon," she said.

"Can't you come sooner?"

"I have a meeting that I can't get out of." She was not putting her meeting with the social worker on hold, for anything.

She arrived at her parents' home on Saturday afternoon. Her nieces and nephews were playing all over the place. She greeted them, some responded, some ignored her because they had never met her.

She found her parents in the kitchen, with sis Dora and her husband, and Thandi and her husband. She sat down and greeted everyone.

"You're late," said sis Dora.

"She came, that's the important thing. Bettina refused to come at all. She is cursed," said Baba. Xola watched her sisters nodding in agreement. It occurred to her that she too, should have refused to come.

"We are here because I want to warn you all, that if you do what Bettina did, you will cease to be my children," said Baba.

"We won't do what she did," said sis Dora. She and Thandi looked at Xola.

"I don't have a husband, so the situation doesn't arise," said Xola.

"What kind of woman gets to this age unmarried?" asked Thandi.

"The kind who is discerning."

"You mean the kind who can't keep a man."

"Did I come here to be judged by you? If that's all I came for, then I'm leaving."

"You never learned to respect yourself or society. If you had, you wouldn't have had a child out of wedlock." Xola felt her whole body heat with fury.

"And you've never learned to keep your ignorant judgements to yourself," she spat.

"Stop it! Both of you, stop it. Xola, you're older, you should set your sister a good example," said Baba.

"I have to leave," said Xola.

"You just got here!"

"I'm going to meet the man who's going to be my husband."

"Why didn't you say so before? Are you pregnant?"

"Of course she's pregnant. She's never had any restraint, why would she start now?" said sis Dora.

"Can I go, Baba? It will be dark soon, and there are criminals and..." said Xola, knowing how concerned Baba was about safety.

"Alright! You should have come earlier. Bring him to pay amalobolo before that child you're carrying is born," he said. Xola made her goodbyes and left.

She asked Nkulunkulu to forgive her for lying, but she could not have stayed a moment longer in that place. She decided that if her family should ask her in the future about her man, she would say they had broken up. The family would believe her, they never expected her to do anything right.

She arrived home close on midnight and stood under the shower. She had never driven to and from her parents' home in one day. She decided there and then that she would not repeat the experience. It was too exhausting.

Next morning, she joined Mpho and Lionel at Carol and Danie's home. Carol had prepared a farewell lunch for Mpho, who was leaving for China the following morning. After the meal, the men sat in the lounge, while Mpho and Xola cleared up. Carol sat in the kitchen with them as they worked.

"You and Danie seem to be in a good place," said Mpho.

"We are. We're getting married at home affairs in two weeks. Xola, will you be my witness?" asked Carol.

"Of course," said Xola.

"Mpho, I'm sorry, we couldn't postpone this. We want the baby to be born after we're married," said Carol.

"I understand. Be happy," said Mpho. She and Xola finished clearing up, then they all joined the men.

Xola watched her friends sitting beside their men and felt envious, alone and sad. She made an excuse at the earliest opportunity and left.

She was crying with fury as she drove home. How dared she be envious, of her friends! It was disgusting! She stopped at a red robot, cleaned her face and told herself to think positively.

She was going to push the adoption. She would adopt a two or three year old child, and then, in a few years, she would adopt a new born baby.

Once home, she finished filling in the adoption papers. She was going to hand them in the next day.

After work the following day, she sat in her office, missing Ike. She wanted to hear his voice, or see him one last time, or even kiss him goodbye. She would go to his home, see him for the last time and close that chapter of her life.

When she arrived, she was invited to have refreshments as Ike was not home. She refused, but the housekeeper begged her and she agreed. She did not eat much. She stood with the intention of leaving, then Ike walked into the room. Xola was shocked to see him.

"Is everything alright?" he asked. She nodded. The housekeeper cleared up and left. Xola sat down.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," she said.

"This _is_ my home."

"I was told you weren't here."

"I am now," said Ike, sitting down.

"Well, I'll be off now," said Xola.

"Why are you here?"

"It's not important."

"Why, Xola?"

"Because I'm a fool."

"I don't understand."

"I'm crazy about you." She watched Ike carefully.

"You think it's forward, desperate and disgusting of me to say so," she continued.

"I didn't say that."

"I know how your mind works. I came to see you for the last time, before I start the process of getting over you."

"Don't get over me."

"I must. You want me and other women. I could never live with that."

"I don't want other women."

"You said..."

"It's a case of having only you, or having other women who aren't you. I choose you."

"There's no need to deprive yourself."

"I want to be with you."

"Your other women will help you get over that. I wish you all the best."

" _You_ are what is best for me." Xola's heart filled with joy, then she told herself to be realistic. She and Ike would never work. She stood.

"I have to go now. Thanks for the tea," she said, leaving hastily. She could hear Ike following her and calling her name. She ran to her car and drove off.

She should never have gone to see him. She had made it harder for herself to get over him. She went to buy some cakes, chocolates, pies and sweets. She was going to need them as she tried to convince herself that she was over Ike.

#

# CHAPTER EIGHT

When she returned home, he was on her doorstep.

"How did you get here so quickly?" she demanded.

"We need to talk."

"Ike..." He took her house keys and unlocked her front door. She entered her home and he followed, closing the door behind them. She went to the lounge, put down the packets of food and her handbag, then she sat down and looked at him.

"I'm crazy about you, too," he said.

"That doesn't help either of us."

"Paul's mother left because I said I'd bring in a second wife to teach her how to respect me."

"How could you say that to your wife?" gasped Xola.

"I never felt respected at home and I found someone who respected me and treated me well. Paul's mother left as soon as she heard I had another woman. Once she left, I ended it with the other woman.

"After that, I had several relationships, but none that lasted. I never had more than one woman at a time and I never will. Since meeting you, I've had several dates, but those women weren't you and I only wanted you.

"After our last disagreement, I tried to be interested in other women, but it didn't work. I was upset when you refused to see me. I wanted you in my life, and I wanted you to smile at me, the way you smile at my father and my son."

"I wanted to smile at you, but you were always frowning at me, and finding fault with my work while the project was going on. Later, you were always trying to stop me from doing what I wanted to do."

"I couldn't possibly have stood by while you married another man. I want to be the father of your children."

"You said..."

"I changed my mind. Being with you makes me want to try a committed relationship again."

"I want marriage."

"I'll give it to you. And I'll be a hands-on father to our children."

Xola was speechless, looking at him. She stood, Ike stood too. He put his arms round her and kissed her gently. She kissed him back, then she put her arms round his neck. The kiss heated, then Ike released her. She held onto him, panting on his shoulder, then she released him and fell back onto her seat. She looked up at Ike and saw his erection.

"You go straight to my head," he said, then he sat down.

"I've never felt such a strong attraction to anyone. Let's register to get married, and..."

"Ike! Slow down. We hardly know each other," said Xola.

"We've known each other for over a year."

"We've worked together, but that's not the same as knowing each other. We need to know each other's likes and dislikes, and we need to agree about having children."

"We're already agreed."

"We haven't discussed the principles we'll raise them by."

"We'll deal with that as we go."

"Is that how you deal with business?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You're successful in business because you pay attention to detail. If we're to raise good citizens, we need to pay attention to detail. We already have different beliefs. Unless we agree on the principles by which to raise our children, they'll play us off against each other, and home will become unbearable, and they'll be brats. People can divorce because of children, I don't want a divorce."

"Neither do I."

"Then let's have a prenuptial contract."

"For what?"

"For us and for the children."

"We don't need it."

"Do you want me killing you off and taking your property?" Ike looked at Xola in shock.

"Would you do that?" he asked, horrified.

"No! But a prenup is still a good idea. It protects each of us, our property, and it will provide well for the children. If either of us opts out of the marriage..."

"That will not happen."

"...there needs to be provision in the prenup for the children to continue going to the same schools, and to continue living the standard of life they're used to. When Baba left the family, our standard of living sank to horrible depths. I don't want that happening to my children."

"Our children."

"Our children. And you can't take them from me. Promise me you won't take the children from me," said Xola. She was close to tears."

"I won't take them away from you," said Ike, putting a hand on her arm reassuringly.

"We need to arrange for joint custody, or for you to visit the children at least three nights a week."

"We're not even married and you're planning for a divorce," Ike said in shock.

Xola watched him in silence.

"I'm sorry. I just want my...our children, to be well taken care of, regardless of the relationship between you and me. We need to have wills so that even if one, or both of us dies, the children will not be disadvantaged. I want the best for our children."

"The best thing we can do for them is work on our relationship, and keep it loving."

"Money matters."

"I'll provide for you and the children."

"And I'll provide for you and the children."

"It's my job..."

"Our children, our job."

"Xola..."

"I'm not quitting work."

"I know."

"You're not going to argue?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You worked and you still loved Thomasina. You need to go for a full medical check-up. We want to be sure it's safe for you to have children. If it endangers you, we'll adopt."

"Oh! I thought you didn't like the idea of adoption."

"It's not my first choice, but I'd rather have you safe with our adopted children, than have you die and leave me with our child, or children." Xola gave him a long look.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You really want to marry me," she marvelled.

"I just said I did."

"I thought..." Ike took her hand in his and held it tight.

"We're going to get married, and I'm going to be the best thing that ever happened to you," he said earnestly. Xola felt a lump in her throat. Ike's words made her want to weep with joy.

"I want to talk to your father about paying amalobolo," he said.

"Let's date first, and get to know each other, then you can talk to my father."

"You're stalling," said Ike, releasing her hand and sounding disappointed.

"I'm making sure that we have a chance. Sis Bettina married a practical stranger, and he brought her violence. If you try that..." said Xola.

"I don't hit women!"

"Are you violent in other ways? Will you be involved in a road rage incident, or some other unsavoury incident?"

"You and our children need fear no violence from me, or that I'll voluntarily be in a violent incident."

Over the following week, they went on several dates. Xola still thought Ike's beliefs were ancient, and he thought her beliefs were the key to destroying society. They would argue, and, in some cases, they found middle ground. It was not always possible, and in those situations, they would agree to differ and try to respect each other's differences.

Carol asked Xola to cook her wedding day lunch. Xola agreed. She cooked most evenings after work. Ike was not happy that they were not meeting. They had agreed to date in places where they would be unable to have intimate relations.

On the day of the wedding, Xola took the food to Carol's home and set up all that could be done. She had catered for twenty people, as had been requested. Afterwards, she went home to freshen up, then she went to the wedding ceremony, which was held at home affairs.

Carol pointed out her in-laws to Xola while they waited for the marriage officer. The ceremony was short and sweet. Immediately afterwards, Xola returned to Carol's home to finish preparing the meal before the wedding party returned.

She was pleased that her food was well appreciated. After the meal, the bridal couple left on their honeymoon and everyone else left.

Xola cleaned up and packed her plates and pots into boxes.

"Can I help?" asked Ike. Xola looked at him in shock.

"Isaac! I thought I was alone," she said.

"What can I do?"

"Please take those boxes to my car."

"Do you have to go home?"

"No."

"Can we go out somewhere? I've missed you." Xola smiled and nodded.

They went to an art gallery, then they went to dine at a restaurant. They danced afterwards. Xola felt her body go crazy with excitement. Having Ike in her arms made her wild to be intimate with him. She could feel his tumescence digging into her belly. They slow danced to all the songs, even the fast ones. Xola felt weak in the knees with desire.

"Let's go," said Ike. He put his hands on her waist and kept her directly infront of him to hide the state of his aroused body. They walked to her car. She turned, put her arms round Ike's neck and kissed him. She broke the kiss, feeling his hand on her breast. A car hooted and they separated guiltily. They stood panting, watching each other.

"Go where I won't find you. If you go to your home, I'll come to you, and..." said Ike. Xola nodded. She climbed into her car and drove off. She did not know where she would spend the night. Carol was away on honeymoon and Mpho was in China. She wondered what Ike was doing. Suddenly, she thought of his father and drove to his home.

"MaMkhize? Is everything alright?" asked Msimang snr.

"I'm sorry to trouble you. Can I please have a place to sleep?"

"What's wrong with your home?" Xola looked down.

"Of course you can have a place to sleep. Come in, use the room you used last time. You remember the way?" asked Msimang snr.

"Yes."

"Goodnight," said Msimang snr after locking the front door. Xola thanked him and went to her room. She tossed and turned on her bed, thinking about making love with Ike. Next morning, she thanked the Msimangs and went home.

Ike phoned her as she drove.

"I spent the night outside your home," he said.

"Why?"

"I wanted to be close to you, where did you go? Your car wasn't in its usual place."

"I was at your father's house."

"Wasn't he surprised to see you?"

"Yes, he was."

"I don't know that I could live through another night of so much frustration."

"I know what you mean. Perhaps we should keep the dancing for after we marry. Your mother looked at me like I was a filthy rat."

"She'll have to learn to like you, you'll be one of the family soon."

Xola drafted a prenuptial contract and presented it to Ike on one of their dates.

"How dare you initiate things without discussing them with me!" he said. Xola kissed his cheek, then she looked into his eyes. The anger had gone, it had been replaced by desire.

"Don't you dare use sex against me," he said.

"I'll use it on you, not against you."

"Xola..."

"Don't worry. Look this over, make additions, subtractions, or amendments."

"We didn't discuss this!"

"We're discussing it now."

"As head of this family..."

"This is for our children. What does it matter who initiates it? The important thing is that the children are well-provided for."

They watched each other in silence. Xola could see that Ike was very upset.

"I'm sorry, Ike, but I'm not a yes-woman, nor am I subtle enough to plant an idea into your head and make you think you came up with it. I'm hoping you're strong enough on your own to be okay with my being a strong woman. I don't play power games, or control games. The only place I play games is in the bedroom."

"Xola!"

"I need you to be okay with me initiating things. I'm not trying to be a man, or to control you. I'm just doing what I think best for my...our, family. I'm not going to retire my mind just because I'm married and it's unfair of you to expect it. If this is a deal-breaker, then say so. I won't try to be what I'm not," said Xola. She looked away from Ike's unhappy face.

She really did not need an egomaniac who needed his ego stroked at every step. I have an ego too, she thought. She looked at Ike, he was watching her. He did not look as if he could eat anything.

"I'm sorry you feel bad about this, but I'm not getting married without a prenup. Look it over if you like, and if you don't want to, tell me it's over. I'll leave you to think," Xola said, getting to her feet.

"Sit down," said Ike. Xola sat down.

"I don't expect you to retire your brain," continued Ike. Xola nodded.

"You took me by surprise. I usually find them unpleasant. I like to be forewarned about things," said Ike. Xola opened her mouth.

"I'm asking you to be patient with me," said Ike.

"You need to be patient with me too. I don't know how to stroke egos and since that's what you need..."

"I do not need my ego stroked!" said Ike, sounding offended by the very idea.

"I thought..."

"You thought wrong! I've just told you that you surprised me."

"Will you look at that document?"

"Yes." Xola smiled.

"You're doing it again," said Ike.

"What?"

"Using sex."

"I didn't do anything!" said Xola, surprised by Ike's words.

"How dare you give me that bedroom smile when I can't do anything about it!"

"It's just a smile."

"Stop it."

"I thought you wanted me to smile at you?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem? I can't smile according to a schedule."

"Alright, let's drop this. Here's the food, let's eat."

Days later, they met for dinner.

"That prenup is a very well thought out document, it's as if every second is accounted for," said Ike.

"It's not meant to be dictatorial. It's meant to protect the children."

"You didn't mention my finances."

"They are yours and nothing to do with me."

"Our family, our finances."

"Did you make any additions or subtractions?"

"I increased all the budgets," said Ike, giving her the prenup she had given to him. Xola turned to the budgets.

"We don't need all this money for these things," she gasped.

"If we're to provide the best for our children, we need every last cent. I added getaways for you and me. We can't create a loving home for the children if we neglect each other. Thrice a year, we'll go away, just the two of us. I've provided money for that, and any babysitters and anything else we'll need to make that possible. We will pay attention to each other and make our relationship work," Ike said fiercely. He looked so sexy. Xola nodded and he relaxed.

"I'm putting my home in both our names," he said.

"There's no need. We can get another one and I'll contribute to the mortgage."

"That will be a waste of money. The house I live in is already fully paid up, and it's big enough for a large family."

"I don't want you thinking I'm after your property."

"I know you're not after my property. Will you move in with me?"

"Okay."

"Now."

"Isaac! No. We'll do that after we marry." He smiled. He looked so sexy, Xola wanted to lean across the table and kiss him. She looked at the document before her.

"What's the matter?" asked Ike.

"Nothing."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?" Xola looked at Ike.

"I want to kiss you," she said.

"Oh," said Ike, then he smiled with self-satisfaction.

"I'm trying to control myself, but if you continue to smile like that, I just might have to kiss you," said Xola.

"Here? In public?"

"Why not? You are my man, aren't you?"

"Yes, but public displays of affection are just so cheap."

"It'll only be a kiss, Isaac. It's not as if I'll take your clothes off and..."

"Alright!" said Ike, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

"Alright, I can kiss you?"

"Alright, I get your point."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No! Xola, what's the matter with you?" Xola sighed with disappointment and closed the document before her.

"You can kiss me when we get to your car," said Ike. Xola smiled.

"My parents are having an anniversary party on Saturday afternoon. Come with me," said Ike. Xola smiled, then her smile vanished.

"What's the matter? Don't you want to come with me?" asked Ike.

"I'd love to come, but I don't want to spoil your mother's day."

"You won't. I'll meet you there at two." Xola nodded.

# 

# CHAPTER NINE

Xola parked her car a few houses away from Msimang snr's home. There were cars parked all along the road. She walked to the Msimang home. Ike was waiting for her at the gate. He made his way past the security guards to her. She had joined the long queue of people waiting to present their invitation cards.

"Hi," she said, relieved to see him.

"Hi. Come," he said, taking her hand. He led her past the queue and past the security check point.

"It's good you came to fetch me. I didn't know what I'd say when asked for my invitation card," said Xola.

"I'm your card. How are you?"

"Fine," said Xola, then she kissed Ike's hand.

"Xola!" he said, sounding shocked.

"I love you," said Xola. Ike stopped walking and turned to look at her.

"Why must you pre-empt me?" he asked.

"I didn't pre-empt you."

"I was going to tell you that I love you later today."

"I'll still be here," smiled Xola.

"Stop smiling."

"Why?"

"Your smiles make me want to take you to my bed and keep you there forever." Xola's smile widened. Someone called Ike. He dropped Xola's hand and looked at the man calling him. Xola took his hand in hers. He tried to shake her off as he approached the man who had called him, but Xola would not be shaken off. They stood before him, holding hands.

Ike introduced him as his brother John. John and Xola exchanged greetings, then John looked at her hand, holding Ike's. She felt Ike's hand tighten on hers, then he relaxed.

"Is something wrong?" he demanded of John.

"I thought you were done with women?"

"I was, but this one took me by surprise."

"You must be serious about her since you brought her here. Baba won't let you get away with toying with her."

"Who says I'm toying with her?"

"So you're going to get married?"

"Did you have a reason for calling me?"

"Ma's calling you. Have you met Ma, Xola?" asked John.

"Yes, she hates me." John smiled.

"Your smile looks just like Ike's," said Xola.

"You mean his smile looks like mine. I had this smile for several years before he was born. Ike, go, I'll take care of Xola."

Ike looked at Xola then he left. John led Xola to the kitchen and introduced her to his wife, Barbara. She was very friendly and clearly in charge of catering. John left. Xola asked what she could do, Barbara asked her to help with the dessert preparations.

In a short time, everything was done. Lunch was served. Xola took her plate of food and looked for Ike. She could not find him. She did not want to sit among strangers.

"MaMkhize! How good to see you. Come this way. I'll show you where to sit," said Msimang snr, leading Xola to the table of honour. She hesitated when they reached it.

"Your wife won't like the fact that I'll be sitting here. I'll go and..." she said.

"Nonsense! Did you come with Isaac?"

"Yes."

"Good, you should hurry him to the altar before he gets cold feet."

"Mr Msimang!" gasped Xola.

"Call me Baba. You're practically one of the family. Move up everyone. Make room for Isaac's young woman, MaMkhize," said Msimang snr. Xola was embarrassed as everyone turned to look at her. She gave a little smile and sat down. Ike materialised beside her.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Xola frowned at him.

"Sorry I was gone so long. I was taking care of something. You did well to come and sit with the family," continued Ike.

"Your father brought me here."

"He knows how important you are to me."

"Where's your plate? I'll go and get you one," said Xola, making to stand up. Ike put a hand on her forearm and shook his head.

"The speeches are about to start," he said.

"But..."

"No."

"I can't eat unless you eat too."

"We're among people."

"They're eating too. Here's a fork, let's eat together, please Ike, I'm starving." Ike took the fork Xola was offering him and they ate off her plate.

The speeches ended and were followed by toasts, then the Msimangs cut their cake. Barbara and others started handing out plates of cake. Xola stood and went to help. When they were done, they went to the kitchen.

"There's nothing else to do. Go and sit down," said Barbara.

"The dishes need washing," said Xola.

"The ladies' club we hired will be offended if anyone in the family helps, they'll think we're criticising them."

"I'm not family."

"John says you are. Go to Ike."

Xola left the house and walked about, looking for Ike.

"MaMkhize," said a woman. Xola looked at her. She had never seen her before.

"You don't know me. I'm Isaac's aunt. I was at the table when my brother said you're with Isaac. I'll show you where he is. If you're not careful, he'll be taken by other women," said the woman. Xola followed her to the back of the house. There was a big lawned area with beautiful flowers and manicured shrubs and trees.

"There he is," said Ike's aunt. Xola thanked her and approached him. He was towering above a group of women who were all clamouring for his attention. She stood uncertainly a little away from the group. Ike looked up and saw her. The look of relief on his face was priceless. He said something to the women around him and they made way for him. He approached Xola.

"Hi, I was looking for you," she said, taking his hand in hers. He made to withdraw it.

"Relax unless you want those women around you again," said Xola. Ike frowned at her. She kissed his cheek.

"Xola!" he gasped.

"I'm letting those women know that you're with me."

"Come and say hello to Paul and his mother," said Ike, leading Xola away.

Paul was talking to a woman.

"She's stunning," said Xola. Ike made a sound of disbelief.

"Hi, Pamela, this is Xola. Xola, this is Paul's mother," said Ike. Xola greeted Pamela and Paul. Paul was stiff and cold. Xola moved closer to Ike, puzzled by his mood, that made him seem even more stiff. She realised he was uncomfortable seeing her holding hands with his father. She hoped he would not cause problems in her marriage.

"Excuse us," said Ike, leading Xola away.

"You can let go of my hand now," he said.

"I could, but I like holding hands with you."

"It's indecent."

"It is not! I hope you don't plan to behave as if you're ashamed of me and the children."

"Ashamed?"

"Will you ignore me in public, and expect the children and I to walk on the other side of the street so people don't associate us with you?"

"Of course not."

"Will you hold my hand, or touch me in any other way in public?"

"No!"

"No kisses on the hand or cheek?"

"Never!"

Xola stopped walking.

"What's the matter?" asked Ike.

"I need to be touched. I'm a very tactile person and I need to touch and be touched," she said.

"I won't touch you in public. That's for teenagers who have no control."

"You don't have to touch me in a publicly inappropriate manner, but I do need my hand held or kissed. It's no big deal, Ike. It just shows the person you're with that you cherish them."

"I can't give you that."

"Will you think about it?"

"Why can't I say no to you?" Xola smiled.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"I want to introduce you to Ma."

"That's a terrible idea."

"She needs to get used to you and vice versa. You'll be in-laws soon. I don't expect you to be friends, but it would be nice to not have to choose between you."

Xola and Ike joined the rest of Ike's family in one of the lounges.

"Isaac, have you come to introduce your bride to the family?" asked Msimang snr. Ike sat down and Xola sat beside him.

"You should sit with the other women," he said.

"I don't know them," said Xola.

"Leave her alone, she needs to be beside you. Her future mother-in-law dislikes her," said Msimang snr.

"I don't dislike her," said Mrs Msimang.

"Then why do you have that disapproving look on your face? And you only put it on when MaMkhize entered the room."

"Must we discuss this now?"

Msimang snr introduced Xola to his brother and his wife, then he introduced Ike's two sisters, Rebecca and Leah, and their husbands, and John and Barbara, whom Xola had already met.

"You'll meet the grandchildren and the rest of the family later, MaMkhize. Isaac, are you going to marry this girl?" he asked.

"Msimang! This is not the time or place for this discussion," said Mrs Msimang.

"These are the core family members. They need to know what's going on. Well, Isaac?"

"Yes, we're going to get married," said Ike.

"Congratulations. MaMkhize, if he gives you problems, him or his mother, tell me, and I'll sort them out for you," said Msimang snr.

"Msimang!" said Mrs Msimang.

"This girl is wonderful, we should all be glad she's joining the family."

Xola looked round the room. Ike's mother and sisters were looking at her as if she had done something wicked. John and Msimang snr were smiling at her, everyone else was watching her curiously. She cracked her brain for something to say, but nothing came to mind.

"MaMkhize, don't let Isaac divorce you. And make some grandchildren. Once you make grandchildren, your mother-in-law will change her tune," said Msimang snr.

"Msimang!" gasped Mrs Msimang.

"You know you can't resist grandchildren. How long have you been telling Isaac to give you more? Now that MaMkhize's here, he'll be able to grant your wish. Thank you all for coming. My brother and I need to talk."

Xola left with Ike and his siblings and their spouses.

"Thank you for inviting me," she said to him.

"I'm glad you came."

"I need to go now."

"It's still early."

"I don't want to outstay my welcome."

"I don't want you to go."

"I'll indulge you another time. I'll say bye to Barbara then I'll go."

Barbara hugged Xola warmly, then Xola walked to her car. Ike was leaning on it. Xola used her phone to take a picture of him. He frowned at her.

"I don't like having my picture taken," he said.

"I want a picture of my husband, in fact, I want lots of pictures. You and the children will have to get used to being photographed. I'm off now."

"Hmm."

"You look so cute when you sulk."

"I do not sulk!" Xola kissed his mouth.

"Xola!" he said.

"I love you." Ike gave her a long look.

"I love you, too. I want to talk to your father about amalobolo."

"I'm going to kiss your cheek."

"No. Xola..." Xola kissed his cheek, then she climbed into her car and left.

In the early evening, she phoned her father.

"Well, Xolani, what is it?" he greeted. She told him that Ike wanted to meet him about paying amalobolo before marrying her. Baba was quiet for a while. Xola feared he had cut the call.

"This man actually wants to marry you?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Does he know you had a child?"

"Yes."

"Are you pregnant?"

"No!"

"Hmm. Alright, tell him to make arrangements to talk to me."

Xola told Ike what Baba had said.

"Thank you for coming back to me about this. I wasn't sure you'd talk to your father," said Ike.

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure you want to marry me."

"I do."

"I want to marry you, too. I'm going to make sure that you have only good experiences and good memories."

"That's going to be challenging, considering our different takes on life."

"I'm up to the challenge. I love you."

"I love you, too. How many children do you want us to have?"

"Six or seven. How many did you have in mind?"

"Two, three on the outside."

"Why are you aiming so low, Xola?"

"I want to give them all the attention they need. If we have too many, some are bound to feel neglected."

"I hadn't thought of that. Have you gone for a full medical examination?"

"Not yet."

"Go. We want everything to work out well." Ike asked for her father's postal address.

"Why?" she asked.

"I want to write him a letter to say I want to pay amalobolo and marry you. I want to do things the right way."

Xola gave him Baba's address.

Two days later, she went for a full medical examination.

Later that week, she returned home from work and found Mrs Msimang and her daughters on her doorstep. She greeted them, they did not respond. Her heart sank.

"Listen, little girl. Isaac is not for you. If you marry him, I promise that you'll regret it," said Mrs Msimang.

"Isaac is out of your league. Tell him you changed your mind unless you're prepared to suffer the consequences," said one of Ike's sisters.

"Have you heard us?" asked the other sister.

"Yes, I've heard you," said Xola. One of the women kissed her teeth then the three of them left.

Xola's knees were shaking as she unlocked her front door. There had been something really sinister in the tone of her visitors. She thought about phoning Ike, then she decided to sleep on it. She could not eat and sleep came late in the night.

The following day, she could not focus at work. Jake sent her home. She drove about aimlessly and ended up outside the Msimang offices. She climbed out of the car, then she leaned against it, undecided whether to leave or look for Msimang snr.

"MaMkhize, what brings you here?" he asked. Xola had not seen him approach. He was standing before her. Suddenly, she burst into tears. The tears stopped just as quickly as they had started.

"I'm so sorry," she said, wiping away the tears as and averting her face from him.

"What is it, child? What happened?"

"Nothing. I was being silly," said Xola.

"That crying didn't sound like silliness. Tell me what's going on."

"I got scared."

"Of what? MaMkhize? Xola, talk to me."

"I don't want to cause problems."

"What problems?"

"Problems in your family."

"My family?"

"I'm going. Please don't worry about me," said Xola, turning her back on Msimang and making to open her car door."

"Stay where you are." Xola released her car door handle and turned to look at Msimang snr. She saw a movement behind him and focused on it.

"Ike!" she gasped. She had not been expecting to see him.

"What's going on?" he asked, as he joined his father. Xola faced her car again.

"I'm just leaving," she said. Her hand was seeking her car door handle. She opened the car door and it closed from behind her. She could feel Ike's body all down her back.

"What upset you?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Then why were you crying? I saw you from my office."

"It's nothing."

"You drove all the way across town to come and cry here. Why? What did you do to her, Isaac?" asked Msimang snr.

"Nothing! He didn't do anything to me," said Xola.

"Then what is it?" Suddenly, the warmth from Ike's body was gone. He had obviously moved away from her. She turned to look at him, then she looked at his father.

"I shouldn't have come," she said to him.

"Then why did you?"

"You've always been kind to me."

"And I'll always be kind to you."

"That's why I must go."

"Just say what you came to say."

"I don't want to cause problems."

"Speak, Xola," said Ike. Xola looked at him, then she looked at his father.

"Can we be alone?" she asked. Ike walked off angrily. Xola watched him, then she looked at his father.

"Last night when I arrived home from work, your wife and daughters were waiting for me," she said.

"I didn't know you were friends."

"They said if I married Ike, they'd make me regret it."

"They're being typical women."

"It's more than that, I'm sure of it."

"You should have phoned me."

"I hadn't decided what to do. I came to you because I hope you can be objective. Ike might get too upset to be reasonable." She looked down, regretting having spoken. She looked at the man before her.

"I'm really sorry. As you said, they're being women. Please forget this conversation. I clearly over-reacted. I'll go now," she said, turning to her car.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Msimang snr.

"What?" asked Xola, turning to look at him. Msimang snr nodded at Ike. He was standing several metres away from them, talking on his phone. She locked her car and walked slowly towards him.

She stopped a few paces from him and looked at him. His call had ended. He was furious.

"Hi," she said. He did not respond.

"I'm sorry, I thought I should speak to your father first. He's the head of the family," said Xola.

" _I'm_ the head of our family."

"Your father has more authority over your mother and sisters. They came to tell me not to marry you."

"Why didn't you phone me?" demanded Ike.

"It was nothing. I'm sorry now that I over-reacted and made a nuisance of myself to your father. It's probably some kind of initiation into the family."

"Barbara never mentioned it, neither did Pamela."

"You see, I over-reacted. Barbara and Pamela treated it as the game that it is. I'm off, I'll see you later," said Xola. She kissed Ike's cheek and turned to walk away.

"Xola," said Ike. Xola stopped and looked at him.

"If it's nothing, why were you crying?" he asked.

"I over-reacted."

"I don't believe you."

"Are you accusing your wife of being a liar?" asked Xola, forcing a smile. Ike did not smile back. He approached her and put his arms round her. She stilled, surprised.

"I thought you didn't do public demonstrations of affection," she said.

"We both need this." Xola put her arms round him and sighed.

"Thank you, this is wonderful," she said.

"You should have called me."

"It was nothing."

"Don't insult my intelligence."

"I didn't want you thinking I'm a useless cry-baby. You have a low enough opinion of women as it is."

"I don't think you're a useless cry-baby," said Ike. He released her and they shared a look.

"Did you come here to talk to Baba about this?" asked Ike.

"Yes, I feel stupid for making a fuss about nothing. I have to go," said Xola. She kissed Ike's cheek, and walked to her car. She could feel him watching her as she climbed into it and drove off.

She cursed, angry with herself for not thinking things through. She would be lucky if Ike married her. She had over-reacted to a joke by telling tales and causing tension in his family.

She parked her car outside a bar. Inside, she drank several bottles of juice. Her phone rang.

"Where are you?" asked Ike.

"Hi," said Xola.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm out."

"I just phoned your office and Jake said he sent you home hours ago. When are you coming home?"

"Is that where you are?"

"Of course. I was worried about you."

"I'll be there soon."

"I'm leaving, I have an appointment. I'll phone you later. Where are you?"

"In a bar."

"What?" shouted Ike.

"Bye," said Xola, and she cut the call. She would have to get him used to the idea of her being an adult entitled to do what all adults had permission to do.

She finished her last drink and drove home. Ike was on her doorstep.

"You were at a bar," he accused.

"Yes, I was. We are not going to argue about this. I can go where I please and take care of myself."

"Do you know what people do in bars?"

"Yes, I do."

"Were you drinking?"

"Of course."

"I don't want my wife drinking alcohol!"

"Do you drink it?"

"Sometimes."

"The day you stop, is the day you can demand that I not drink."

"Real women..."

"No! If you want a 'real' woman, then I suggest you and I break up."

"No!"

"I won't live with someone who's constantly finding fault with who I am. Clive did that, and..."

"I am not Clive!"

"Then don't compare me to anyone. I'm me. Take me as I am, or not at all." They glared at each other.

"I was worried about you," said Ike.

"I'm fine now. I thought you had an appointment?"

"I postponed it. I wanted to be sure that you're alright. Why didn't you call me?"

"I assumed you were busy."

"You're my wife, I can never be too busy for you or our children. Any time you need me, day or night, call me, or come to me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Ike." Ike kissed her lightly. When the kiss ended, Xola put her hand on his mouth and caressed his lower lip. He put his tongue out to lick it, then he used his hand to put her finger in his mouth. He sucked on it. She gasped as her stomach did a somersault and her knees weakened.

She closed her eyes and moaned. When she opened them, her eyelids felt heavy. Ike was looking into her eyes as he continued to lick and suck on her finger.

"Con...condoms, we need condoms," Xola panted. Ike took a packet of three condoms out of his jacket pocket. Xola closed her eyes, weak with excitement.

"Xola," said Ike. Xola opened her eyes to look at him.

"Open the door," he said. She fumbled with her handbag. Her hands were shaking as she sought the keys. She found them and unlocked the door. She entered her home and made her way to the lounge. She heard the front door close, then she heard Ike's footsteps as he followed her. She put down her handbag and turned to face him. He put his arms round her and kissed her deeply. She broke the kiss and put her head on his shoulder, panting.

"Come," he said as he took her hand and led her to her bedroom.

He kissed her and her excitement rose, as she felt his hand on her belly. She broke the kiss and focused on undoing his shirt buttons. She pushed his shirt and jacket off his shoulders. He kissed her, then she gasped, as he sucked on her nipple. She had not noticed that he had undressed her.

She raised his head and kissed him. He kissed her deeply, then he broke the kiss and finished undressing her. She took off his trousers, underwear, shoes and socks. He stepped back from her and looked her body over, as she looked his over.

"You are so beautiful," he said.

"So are you."

"Come here," said Ike, drawing Xola into his arms. He held her tight and kissed her deeply. She closed her eyes, running her hands down his shoulders, his back, and onto his buttocks. She gasped, breaking the kiss as she landed on her back on the bed.

She felt Ike's mouth on her other breast. She caressed his back, then she put her hands between their bodies. He raised his head from her breast as she touched his manhood. He took her hands off him.

"I want to touch you," she said.

"I want that too, but if you do, I won't be able to wait for you."

"Ike..."

"I've waited too long to be with you to spoil it now," he said, then he kissed her. She caressed his head as he kissed his way down her body to her mound. He kissed his way down her belly as his mouth followed his hands. She gasped as he touched her intimately.

"Ike...I need you," she gasped, as he caressed her. She opened her eyes as he took his hands and mouth off her body.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm right here. I'm just putting on a condom," said Ike.

"I'll help you."

"Stay where you are, here I am," said Ike, kissing Xola. She put her arms round him and rubbed her breasts against his chest. He broke the kiss and looked down at her.

"You drive me crazy," he panted.

"Good."

"No. We need to slow down if this is to be good for both of us."

"I want..."

"I know what you want, and I'll give it to you, but you can't touch me."

"I like to touch," said Xola, caressing Ike's chest. Ike kissed her, then she gasped as he joined his body to hers. They shared a look as they adjusted to being joined. Xola squeezed her internal muscles. Ike gasped.

"Don't, Xola, don't," he said, sounding as if he was pleading. Xola relaxed. They started moving together, slowly at first, then faster and faster. Xola threw her head back and cried out as pleasure filled her body.

She opened her eyes as her heart beat slowed down. Ike's eyes were closed as he shuddered with pleasure. Xola squeezed her internal muscles and he shuddered even more. He collapsed on her. She could feel sweat on her body and his. She put her arms round him and kissed his shoulder.

He lay beside her, keeping his arms round her, and kissed her forehead. Xola could feel his heart pounding, then it slowed down. They were quiet for a while, then Xola kissed Ike and went to shower. When she was done, Ike went to shower. He joined her in the kitchen. She was cooking. She smiled at him as he entered the room.

"Hi," she said. He approached her and kissed her.

"Hi," he said, then he sat down. She could feel him watching her as she cooked. She set the table, then she dished up as he talked on his phone. His call finished, she told him that it was time to eat.

"That was great, thank you," he said, after the meal.

"You're welcome," said Xola, as she cleared up.

"Can I help?" asked Ike. Xola looked at him in surprise.

"I want to be a hands-on father, I have to start somewhere," he said. Xola asked him to dry the dishes she had washed.

"Thank you," she said, when they were done. She kissed him. He held her tight and kissed her deeply.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Yes."

"When did you last have a lover?"

"Ike!" gasped Xola.

"I last had a lover about eighteen months ago."

"I don't want to know that."

"I want to know when..."

"Why?"

"Because of the way you reacted when I touched you at my parents' home."

"Was there something wrong with my reaction?"

"Of course not. I just want to understand why you reacted so quickly. It was as if you hadn't had a lover in some time."

"Should we really be discussing this, when you think I should have stayed a virgin until I married?"

"I'm not a virgin either."

"But..."

"How long, Xola?"

"Three years."

"That long?"

"After Clive, I didn't want anything more to do with men."

"I'm not like him."

"I know," yawned Xola.

"You should get to bed. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"A little."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Stay the night. Please, I want to be with you," said Xola. Ike opened his mouth, to speak. Xola kissed him.

"Okay, but I have to leave early so I can change clothes at home before going to work." Xola kissed his cheek and held his hand as they went to her bedroom.

# 

# CHAPTER TEN

She was woken by hearing her name called. She opened her eyes and smiled at Ike.

"Hi. I have to go," he said.

"Already?" asked Xola. She sat up and noticed that Ike was dressed. He kissed her cheek and stood. She saw him to the front door, kissed his cheek, then she closed the door after he left, smiling.

She spent the day feeling that all was right with the world. Her colleagues commented on her good mood, asking what had caused it, she just smiled.

She was about to leave work for home, when Ike phoned her.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fabulous, and you?"

"I miss you. I want to see you, but I have to do something with my family."

"That's too bad, I'd have liked to see you, too."

"I'll call you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Xola went home. She did not have an appetite. She could not wait to see Ike again. She was woken by the ringing of her phone.

"Ike? Is everything alright?" she asked.

"I know it's late, but I had to see you. Can you let me in?"

"Of course," said Xola, relieved that he did not have bad news for her. She opened the door for him and he held her tight. She closed the door and held onto him.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to eat?"

"I want to sleep."

Xola led him to her bedroom and helped him to undress. She helped him into bed, then she climbed in beside him. He put his arms round her, kissed her cheek and fell asleep.

When she woke up, Ike was still asleep beside her. She kissed his cheek, then she went to shower. When she was dressed, she sat beside him, then she woke him. He lay on his back, looking at her. She became uncomfortable and looked at her watch. She gasped as Ike put a hand at the back of her neck and brought her head to his chest. He kissed her cheek and held her tight.

"Ike?" she said.

"Last night, my family and I visited a sick family friend at his home. He died while we were there," he said.

"I am so sorry."

"Life is short, Xola. I want to spend whatever time I have with you."

"I forbid you to die."

"The same applies to you. We need to register to marry and live together."

"We will." Ike released Xola. She sat up and looked at him. He yawned.

"I need an early night tonight," he said, climbing out of bed. Xola packed two lunch boxes for them to take to work.

He joined her in the kitchen after his shower.

"Where did you get a change of clothes?" she asked.

"I brought it with me. I have to go," he said. Xola handed him a lunch box. He took it, then he put his arms round her and kissed her. She was dazed when the kiss ended.

"I'll see you," he said, then he left.

Xola sat down weakly. His kiss had made her want him badly. I have to go to work, she told herself firmly. She went to the bathroom to get her make-up kit, then she smiled. There was another toothbrush next to hers. Ike intended to spend more nights with her. She had no problem with that.

Later in the day, she phoned him.

"I love you," she said.

"Ditto," he said.

"Are you in a meeting?"

"Yes."

"Is it okay to tell you that I want you?" Xola smiled as Ike coughed.

"Thank you for your call," he said, then he cut the call. Xola wondered if her call had made him as hot and bothered as it had made her.

She was cooking at home when there was a knock on her door. She ran to open it then she ran back to the kitchen before the milk boiled over.

"Don't you check before letting people into your home?" demanded Ike, as he joined her in the kitchen.

"Hi," said Xola.

"I could have been a robber, or a murderer."

"But you're not."

"I don't want you endangering your life."

"Okay. Can I get a kiss now?" asked Xola, putting her arms round Ike's neck. They watched each other, then she gave him gentle, persuasive kisses until he kissed her back.

A hissing sound from the stove brought Xola back from the haze of pleasure that she was in. She broke the kiss and turned to the stove. The main course had burned. Xola cursed as she took the pot off the stove.

"You can't use language like that around the children," said Ike. Xola looked at him.

"You're right, neither can you," she said.

"Fathers are allowed."

"Not the father of my children. Did you like that I phoned you?"

"If I lost that potential client, it's your fault."

"My fault?"

"How was I supposed to think after your call? My mind could only come up with images of you naked. Don't do it again." Xola smiled. She intended to do it often.

"Whoever heard of a woman making such bold statements?" asked Ike.

"I hope you're staying for dinner."

"I'm spending the night."

"I have plans."

"Cancel."

"Isaac!"

"The only plans you have tonight are with me. I'm going to shower. I hope you'll feed me when I'm done. That smell is making me hungry."

"I'm having guests."

"Cancel."

"It's too late."

"I don't want to share your attention."

"It won't be for long. And anyway how do you expect us to raise children when you have that attitude?"

"You'll have help, just as you said. I don't intend to be just a father, I also intend to be a husband who has all his needs met by his wife, so he has no reason to look around."

"Don't even joke about that," Xola said fiercely.

"You're gorgeous when you're making threats," smiled Ike.

"I mean it, Isaac," said Xola. She felt close to tears. Ike kissed her and left the room.

Xola could not focus on the cooking. She followed Ike to the bathroom and entered the room without knocking. Ike was drying himself off. He looked up, startled.

"I forbid you to look around. If I'm failing you, tell me how to make things right, but don't..." said Xola. Tears were standing in her eyes.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Xola, I was joking," said Ike. He dropped his towel and put his arms round her.

"I won't look around. I don't want to. You're all the woman I want," he said. Xola looked deep into his eyes, then she nodded and left.

In the kitchen, she berated herself for behaving like an insecure creature. She knew from experience how unattractive insecurity was. She would be charming and bubbly and hope that Ike would forget those terrible moments in the bathroom when she had let herself down.

She set the table and put everything in place, then she went to change. She found Ike in the lounge. He was looking at his cell phone. He looked up at her and did a double take.

"You are stunning," he said, getting to his feet. Xola was very happy with his reaction to her little black dress. She was wearing black sandals with her knee-length dress.

"Did you bring this change of clothes with you?" she asked.

"I left several outfits in your wardrobe," said Ike.

"I didn't notice." Ike put his hands either side of her head and gave her a long, gentle kiss. A knock on the door startled her and she broke the kiss.

"Your guests?" asked Ike. Xola nodded, then she went to open the door.

She hugged Carol and Danie, then she led them to the lounge.

"Ike! Hi," said Carol. She sounded glad to see him and hugged him warmly, startling him.

"Hi," he said, embracing her too. She withdrew from him and held one of Danie's hands.

"You've met my husband, Danie?" she said. The men greeted each other, then Xola offered everyone seats. There was another knock on the door. Xola went to open it.

"Mpho!" she said, thoroughly surprised to see her. She held her tight, then she drew back from her.

"I thought you were in China," she said.

"I was, but I wanted to come back home," said Mpho, looking at Lionel. Xola greeted him and invited them into her home. She followed them to the lounge. Mpho and Carol were crying over each other, the men were talking amongst themselves.

Xola smiled and fetched drinks from the kitchen. She handed them out to her guests, then she sat beside Carol.

"How long before you make us aunts?" she asked.

"Three weeks," said Carol. Mpho talked a little about her trip, then Xola excused herself and went to the kitchen.

"Can I help?" asked Mpho.

"I thought the trip to China was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," said Xola.

"It is, but Li is more important."

"You look tired. When did you arrive?"

"A few hours ago."

"If I'd known, I'd have postponed this."

"Don't worry. Li tells me you and Carol have been looking after him, thank you."

"He makes you happy, of course we're going to look after him for you."

"What can I do?"

"Ask everyone to go to the dining room to eat." Mpho left the room.

Xola had prepared a four course meal. The first two courses went down well.

"I'm sorry, this course is burned. If you can't eat it, the person responsible for its being burned will order and pay for pizza," said Xola, looking at Ike. He smiled smugly. Xola frowned at him, then she looked at her guests.

They tasted the food gingerly, then they tucked in happily.

"Burning must have improved the taste, you should thank me," said Ike. Xola waved a dismissing hand at him, then her stomach somersaulted at the desire she saw in his eyes.

"Do you two want time alone? We can leave," said Carol.

"No! No, take your time," said Xola. She noticed that her guests had indulgent smiles on their faces. She had not realised that she and Ike had been obvious in their desire to be alone and intimate.

"If I could cook like you, I'd open a restaurant," said Mpho. Xola gave her a considering look.

"I've never thought about it seriously, but I'll look into it. It won't be a restaurant, but it could be a catering service. I know enough people to make it worthwhile. I could get a loan and..." said Xola.

"When did we discuss this?" demanded Ike. Xola lost her dreamy look.

"We will," she said.

"You've announced it as if it's a done deal."

"I said maybe. I haven't done the research. We'll talk about it." Ike looked away from Xola, put out. Xola looked at her guests, they were looking between her and Ike.

"I'll go and get dessert," she said, getting to her feet.

She stood in the kitchen, thinking of a word to express displeasure without cursing.

"Rotten egg!" she said with feeling.

"Are you talking about me?" asked Ike.

"No!" said Xola, turning to look at him.

"I was just talking, it's not a done deal," she said.

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the mood. I'm bad with surprises, I'll get better," said Ike, kissing her cheek. She felt the black cloud of displeasure lifting.

"I'll get the dessert," she said, taking it out of the fridge. She dished it up and decorated it.

"You're very meticulous," said Ike.

"I want everything to be just right," she said, picking up the tray with four dessert dishes. She took them to the dining room. Her guests looked at her. She smiled, and they smiled back. She gave out the dessert, then she turned to get the remaining dishes. She noticed Ike carrying them in his hands.

"Thank you," she said, taking hers and returning to her seat. When she was seated, she looked at the guests, they were eating with enthusiasm. She looked at Ike, he was watching her with love in his eyes. Her heart danced with joy.

The guests left immediately after dessert. Xola and Ike saw them off.

"That went well," said Xola, as she started washing up.

"Yes, it did. When's Mpho's wedding?" asked Ike.

"Six weeks, I think."

"I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"Our wedding." Xola looked at him.

"I think we should have it in a month," he said.

"Isaac! That's too soon."

"Or, we could have a civil ceremony as soon as possible, and have a big wedding in three or so months. I'm not waiting longer than that."

"Okay," said Xola.

"Once the civil ceremony's performed, we're moving in together."

"Yes."

"You don't sound happy about that." Xola turned back to the dishes.

"Have you changed your mind about marrying me?" asked Ike.

"No."

"Then what's the problem?" Xola did not know how to tell him that she was worried that his mother and sisters would cause problems in their marriage.

"It's nothing, I'm sure everything will be fine," she said. She was glad to hear Ike leaving the room.

When she was done cleaning up, she found him in her bed.

"Wow," she said, looking at him. He looked big and brown, sitting shirtless in the bed.

"Come," he said. Xola changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed beside him. They lay in the dark with Ike's arms round Xola.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked.

"I don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never do that."

"Maybe I can't have children."

"I don't care."

"Your family might hate me."

"Baba loves you, and everyone else will follow suit or have him to answer to."

"Really?"

"Yes. Will you sleep now?"

"Good night," said Xola, feeling reassured that Ike and his father would protect her from the women in their family.

Ike returned to his home the following morning. Later that day, Xola went to collect her medical exam results. She was pleased that she was healthy and able to have babies. She met Ike the following evening for dinner and showed him her results.

"Great. When should we start on our family?" he asked.

"As soon as we're married. Are you alright with that?"

"No. I want a little time alone with you. Let's have two years to ourselves, then we'll have children." Xola gave him a long look, then she nodded. He smiled.

# CHAPTER ELEVEN

That Friday, Xola, Mpho and Lionel drove home. Xola was glad to have company. She and Mpho dropped Lionel off at his parents' home, then they drove to Xola's parents' home. Xola thanked Mpho and watched as she drove to her own parents' home.

"Xolani, you are here?" said Baba, as Xola greeted him and the men sitting with him. They had all come for the talks with the Msimangs.

Xola found Ma in the kitchen. She was supervising the cleaning and the cooking.

"Let's hope your young man comes," said sis Dora.

"He'll come," said Xola. Dora then talked about women who gave all men who asked access to their bodies. Xola bade Ma goodnight, then she went to freshen up. Afterwards, she sneaked off to Mpho's home.

"Xola, is everything alright?" asked Mpho's Ma.

"Everything's fine, Ma."

"Then why are you here the night before amalobolo talks for you? Shouldn't you be with your family?"

"I'll go now, I just need to see Mpho about something."

"Can't it wait? She's asleep."

"I'll be quick," said Xola, rushing to Mpho's bedroom. She found Mpho asleep. She rolled out a sponge mattress, put blankets on it, then she lay down. She took a deep breath, glad to be away from her family.

She was woken by the ringing of her alarm clock. She switched it off quickly.

"Who is it?" Mpho asked sleepily.

"Me," said Xola.

"What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't stay home and listen to Dora preaching. I have to go home now. Please come with me."

"Of course." They freshened up quickly, made their goodbyes to Mpho's parents, then they walked to Xola's parents' home. They arrived just as the sun was rising.

"Here she is, sneaking in at dawn. It's obvious she's just climbed out of a man's bed," shouted Dora.

"Wena Dora, shut up!" shouted Baba. He looked from Dora to Xola.

"Xolani, tell me, do you want the man who's coming to talk about amalobolo?" he asked.

"Yes," said Xola.

"Then where are you coming from this early in the morning?"

"I was with Mpho."

"Anyone who believes that was born yesterday," scoffed Dora.

"Dora!" shouted Baba. He gave Xola a last look, and returned to his hut.

"Come with me," said Ma, taking Xola's hand and leading her to the kitchen. They joined other women preparing food. Ma told Dora to work with the cleaners, and Xola cooked happily, knowing that she would be free from Dora's hurtful words.

Towards noon, Ma told Xola to get cleaned up. She and Mpho freshened up and changed into beautiful clothes. Xola had had an outfit made especially for the talks. She doubted that she would see Ike, but she still wanted to look good.

"Good, you look like a respectable woman in that long dress and that head scarf," said Ma.

"They are coming," a man shouted. Everyone rushed from the huts to catch a glimpse of the potential in-laws. Mpho and Xola climbed a tree and were able to see everything clearly without being seen.

"I'm glad Ike brought his uncle. Baba only respects men, and even then, they have to be older than him," said Xola.

She and Mpho climbed down from the tree and returned to help the cooks with the meal preparations. When everything was done, they went to sit in the shade of a hut.

Mpho talked about her experiences in China. Xola wondered how things were going with the talks. She hoped that Baba did not put Ike and his team off by charging huge sums of money. He had done that with each of Xola's sisters. Thandi's husband had said he could not afford to pay what he had been charged. He would have found another woman if Thandi had not threatened to kill herself if Baba did not reduce his charges. Xola hoped that Ike would not be put off, by anything.

Dora arrived to tell Xola that Baba wanted to talk to her. Xola's heart sank. It could only be bad news if he was talking to her before the Msimangs had left. She asked Mpho to accompany her to Baba's hut. They found him sitting with two of his brothers. They sat down and greeted the men.

"Wena Xolani, what is the meaning of this?" demanded Baba.

"I don't understand," said Xola.

"You said a young man was coming for you. You didn't tell me you'd found a man old enough to be your father."

"He is not..."

"He has a son who can vote! What are you doing with him? Did you separate him from his wife?"

"No!"

"I'm sending him away with his tail between his legs." Xola could not believe what she was hearing.

"I thought you wanted me to get married. You said I should get any man and marry him. I've done that," she said.

"I said a man, not someone who'll be dead in a week."

"He's not dying!"

"He's too old for you."

"Only by twelve years."

"It's too many!" Xola looked at Baba in shock.

"Let's go and tell them to get out of here," Baba said to his brothers.

"No!" said Xola.

"You are my child, and..."

"You're fifteen years older than Ma."

"Don't be insolent!" shouted Baba.

"Brother, what's the problem? Can you really be choosy? At least this one came forward, unlike the father of your late grandchild," said an uncle. Baba spat in disgust.

"What exactly is the problem, brother?" asked uncle. Baba looked at Xola accusingly.

"Of all the men in this world, why did it have to be this one?" he demanded.

"What's wrong with him?" asked uncle.

"He's the son of my enemy."

"What are you talking about?"

"His father and I ran for the same post in the trade union in...you remember, Buti, in Joburg?"

"Yes, I remember."

"He stole my job."

"He did not!"

"If he hadn't stolen it, I'd be living the life worthy of a man, instead of living hand to mouth."

"He didn't steal the job from you. He was better qualified. He had a degree, you didn't."

"He stole my job, and I won't let his son steal my child," thundered Baba.

"He's not stealing her, he's come to talk to you about marrying her. Are you going to let ancient history prevent you from letting this child marry?"

"Yes."

"I won't let you."

"She's my child."

"She's our child. As your elder, I command you to charge those people and let this child marry. How long is she going to sit in your homestead when her age mates are in their marital homes? Do you have someone else lined up to marry her?"

"No, but I can find someone."

"Do you think Xolani will marry someone she hasn't chosen?"

"She has to."

"These educated girls don't have to do a thing they don't want to do."

"It's their mother's fault. Why did she have to educate them?"

"It's your fault. If you'd stayed home, instead of..."

"What are you still doing here?" Baba demanded of Xola.

"We are going to talk to those people and you are going to be reasonable, Edward. You are not going to make problems for this child. Xola, you can go, my child," said uncle. Xola left, glad that uncle was there to be the voice of reason.

She and Mpho took a walk. When they returned, Ma met them at the gate, wringing her hands.

"Where have you been? Lunch was delayed because you weren't here," she said.

"Why? Everything is ready," said Xola.

"Your father wants you to serve your in-laws so they can see why he's charging them so much."

"Was he unreasonable?"

"Take the food through. Your father's going to be impossible. He feels embarrassed having to delay things because of you."

"I didn't know he wanted me to serve the guests."

"Just go, Xola," Ma said, putting a tray in Xola's hands. Xola waited until Mpho had a tray in her hands, then they led the other tray bearers to the guests. Xola noticed Baba scowling at her from the entrance of his hut. She kept walking. Her heart was pounding. She hoped that the men with Ike would not dissuade him from marrying her.

She entered the hut that they were in, knelt to greet the men, then she started serving them. She made to stand when her tray was empty, but everyone took turns handing her their trays. She handed out the food, filled glasses with juice and water, then she left the hut.

She had been too busy to look at Ike. She had glanced at him briefly. He had had a displeased look on his face. Xola's heart had sunk. Baba had clearly been obnoxious, and Ike had decided to look elsewhere.

She went to her hut and lay on the bed, crying.

"What's the matter?" asked Mpho.

"He's changed his mind," said Xola.

"Who?"

"Ike."

"He's still here. If he'd changed his mind, he and his people wouldn't have stayed for lunch." Xola stopped crying and looked at Mpho.

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"Then why did he look so mad?"

"I don't know." Ma came into the hut.

"What are you doing here? You need to go and collect the dishes. Why were you crying? No one looks good when they cry," she said.

"She's afraid Ike's changed his mind about marrying her," said Mpho.

"Ike?" said Ma.

"Msimang."

"He hasn't changed his mind, he wants you badly enough to pay the unreasonable number of cattle your father demanded, Xola."

"Really?" said Xola.

"Yes. Your uncle told me when he asked me to talk your father down. Don't worry about that now. Go and collect the dishes."

"Ma?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not staying here once the guests leave. Baba will want to tear me apart. I'm not sure I can talk respectfully to him if he starts shouting at me." Ma sat down and closed her eyes, sighing. She opened her eyes and looked at Xola.

"Make your goodbyes to your uncle, he'll tell your father that you left and calm him down," she said.

"Thank you."

"Clean your face and go."

Xola and Mpho collected the dishes. Ike was still looking mad. Xola gave him a little smile, she was relieved when the anger in his eyes was replaced by desire. She and Mpho left the hut. Mpho went to get her car and Lionel. Soon afterwards, Ike and his people left.

Xola packed a few things, then she went to look for her elder uncle. She was glad to find her uncles alone. She made her goodbyes to them, and asked her elder uncle to tell Baba that she had had to leave. Uncle nodded, understanding why Xola was not staying.

Xola then went to say bye to Ma, who was crying.

"What's wrong?" asked Xola.

"Why doesn't he want you to get married? He says he won't change his mind about what he charged." Xola's heart stilled, then it started beating again.

"Don't worry, Ma," she said, furious. She kissed Ma, then she went to put her things in Mpho's car.

"Baba wants to talk to you," said Dora, with glee.

"Leave her," said uncle.

"But..."

"Go, Xola," said uncle. Xola climbed gratefully into the car and Lionel drove off.

"What is it?" asked Mpho.

"Baba won't be talked down."

"Ike is strong and he wants you, he'll make a plan. Don't worry," said Lionel.

"But..."

"He wants to be with you as much as I want to be with Mpho. He won't let anything stand in his way. I know, because I would go to the ends of the earth and live in a hole in the ground if that's what it took to be with Mpho." Mpho leaned over from the front passenger seat to kiss his cheek. Xola felt the burden of anxiety lightening.

She thanked Lionel and Mpho when they dropped her off at home, then she showered and slept.

Next morning, she phoned Ike.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine."

"You were angry yesterday."

"I'm fine. What are you doing today?"

"I'm going to church. Do you want to come with me?" Xola listened to the silence coming from Ike and sighed. She would have liked to go to church with him.

"What do you have planned?" she asked.

"I have some business to attend to."

"On Sunday?"

"Business doesn't care what day of the week it is."

"I hope you'll change your habits when we marry. I don't intend to compete with your work for your attention."

"You won't compete, I'll reduce my work hours."

"I'm glad to hear that. Do you still want to marry me?"

"Of course. Why are you even asking that?"

"I heard Baba overcharged you."

"Don't worry about that. We're still getting married. Have you changed your mind?"

"No."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Xola met Carol and Mpho at church. They sat together during the service.

"Oh, no," gasped Carol.

"What is it?" asked Xola.

"My water just broke." Xola and Mpho looked at each other, at a loss.

"Help me to the car and take me home," said Carol.

"Shouldn't we go to the hospital?" asked Xola.

"I'll go when the contractions are close to each other."

The friends all climbed into Xola's car. Carol directed her to her new home.

Xola was hoping that Danie was home. He was out. Xola looked at Mpho, they both thought Carol should have gone to the hospital. They helped her to the lounge. She told them to get her some ice cubes. Mpho went to do that.

"Can I use your phone?" asked Xola. Carol directed her to her house phone.

"I mean your cell phone," said Xola.

"Why?"

"Are you saying no?"

"Of course not, here it is," said Carol, fishing it out of her handbag. Xola left the room. She looked in Carol's cell phone book until she found Danie's number. She phoned him and told him what had happened.

"Take her to the hospital. I'll meet you there," said Danie.

"She doesn't want to go. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Fine," said Danie. Xola took the phone to Carol. She and Danie argued, then Carol cut the call. She looked at Xola accusingly.

"Why did you have to phone him? He's making a fuss about nothing," said Carol.

"Can we go to the hospital now?" asked Mpho. Carol nodded.

Danie met them at the hospital and he and Carol were taken to the delivery room after they were checked in. Xola drove Mpho to fetch her car at church, then they returned to the hospital.

Xola's phone rang as she arrived there.

"Where are you?" asked Ike. Xola told him.

"You can't die, Xola, I forbid it. Whatever it is, fight it. I'm on my way to you."

"I've come to see Carol, she's having a baby."

"You're not sick?"

"No."

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

"I'm fine."

"Keep it that way. When you're done there, come and see me. I've missed you."

Carol had delivered a healthy baby boy. Xola and Mpho were allowed to see the mother and child briefly, then they left.

Ike met Xola at her car. He helped her out and held her tight. He kissed her, took her hand and led her into his home. Xola looked about.

"I'll give you a tour," said Ike. He showed her the five bedrooms, three reception rooms, kitchen, and the six bathrooms. There was also a study and a games room.

"This is for Paul and his friends, when he comes to visit. He's visiting less frequently," said Ike of the games room.

"Is that what you want?"

"No! I want him to feel like this is his home, it is his home, I am his father, after all, but his mother and I...the less said about that, the better things will be." Ike led her to the last room that he was showing her. Xola looked about his bedroom.

"It's a beautiful house," she said.

"It's your home now." Xola looked at Ike, then she kissed him. He drew away from her.

"Ike?" she said. He closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath, then he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Your father was in an odd mood yesterday," he said. Xola was puzzled by the change of topic.

"Yes, he was."

"Did you say something bad to him about me?" asked Ike.

"No! I only told him you want to marry me."

"Then why was he so angry?"

"He says your father stole his job."

"What job?"

"He and your father applied for the same job and your father got it because he had a degree."

"I didn't know."

"Neither did I. He thought I chose you to remind him of a painful past."

"When did you come back?"

"Last night. My family and I don't click."

"I'm your family too. You click with me."

"Yes, I do," said Xola, and she kissed him. He broke the kiss again.

"Ike!" said Xola in exasperation.

"Paul," panted Ike.

"Paul?"

"He and his mother are coming to talk to me. I wish I could cancel, but I can't."

"Do you want me to go?"

"No! I need you. Pamela and I can never have a civil conversation. I'm hoping you'll be a buffer. Feel free to referee." Xola stepped close to Ike and put her arms round his waist.

"Thank you for trusting me," she said. Ike kissed her hard, then he released her.

"I need you to keep your hands, mouth and everything else to yourself. I can't think straight when you touch me. Pamela's up to something and I need to have my wits about me," he said. Xola nodded and sat on the bed.

"No!" said Ike. Xola stood quickly.

"Seeing you on that bed is not helping me," said Ike.

"Oh. Shall we go to the kitchen? I could make refreshments."

"Don't bother," said Ike, leaving the room. Xola frowned after him, then she decided to ignore him. She was the hostess and no one would tell her how to do her job.

# CHAPTER TWELVE

She went to the kitchen and started making drinks.

She was startled by the ringing of the doorbell. She continued with her chore. She could hear voices, but not what they were saying.

Pamela raised her voice and Ike raised his. Paul tried to intervene, but his parents ignored him. Xola put drinks on a tray and took them to the lounge.

"Let's all have something to drink," she said. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Hi, sis Pamela, hi Paul," she said, putting the drinks down. She handed a glass to Pamela. Pamela looked from the glass to her, then she took it. Xola smiled at her and handed a glass to Ike. He took it, keeping his eyes on her. Xola looked at the drinks tray to hide her smile. He was gorgeous when he was mad. She gave a glass to Paul, then she picked up her own glass.

"Let's sit down," she said, as she sat down. Everyone else sat down. She sipped her drink and everyone else followed suit.

"This is great. What is it?" asked Pamela.

"It's a fruit blend."

"Where did you buy it?"

"I made it."

"Can I have the recipe?"

"Of course." Pamela put her drink down and looked at Ike.

"This is not up for discussion," he said.

"You haven't even thought about it."

"I want no part of it."

"It's your loss."

"I'm sure your husband is clever enough to find other investors."

"This is to protect Paul's future."

"Paul's future doesn't need protection."

"Of course it does. You're remarrying and when you have children, you'll forget all about him."

"I won't forget him. I haven't side-lined him in all the years we've been apart, why would I start now?"

"You didn't have a wife then."

"Paul has nothing to worry about. Nothing can change the fact that he's my eldest child."

"So you'll give him a bigger inheritance than the others you'll have?"

"That is no concern of yours," said a furious Ike.

"Sis Pamela," said Xola. Pamela looked at her.

"Paul has nothing to worry about. Has his father ever denied him what he needs?" asked Xola.

"No, but..." said Pamela.

"He's not about to start now. I had a child before and I understand your concerns. I assure you that it is not my intention to take from Paul what belongs to him. I hope you too, will not seek to take from my children what belongs to them. They all have one father, let's not seek to rob them. I live with Ike, I can easily get him to neglect Paul, but I won't, as long as I know that you aren't trying to rob my children.

"It's in your interests to try to work well with Paul's father. If the meetings you have with him upset him, I'll get upset too and he'll stop meeting you, Paul will stop being welcome here, and he'll be left in the cold," said Xola.

"Are you threatening me?" demanded Pamela.

"I'm being realistic. Listening to you and Paul's father, it was clear neither of you was going to give the other what they wanted."

"He's pig headed."

"I suggest Paul speak directly to his father. Wouldn't you like them to have a good relationship?"

"Of course, but Isaac is never home."

"He's getting married, he'll be home more often now, won't you?" Xola asked Ike. He frowned at her and gave a slight nod.

"Paul will always be welcome here, as long as he behaves himself," said Xola.

"Are you accusing me of not raising my child properly?"

"I'm saying that I won't have my children..."

"Our children," said Ike.

"...our children, subjected to bad influences. Paul, when you come here, I expect you to behave as well as you behave in your mother's home. Do you behave in your mother's home?"

"How dare..."

"I need that question answered unless you want to realise your worst fears about Paul and his father," Xola said fiercely.

"Of course he's well behaved," said Pamela.

"Do you do drugs, Paul?" asked Xola.

"How dare..."

"Paul?" insisted Xola. Paul shook his head unconvincingly.

"Paul!" gasped Pamela.

"You won't be allowed here until you clean up," said Xola.

"How could you?" shouted Pamela.

"I'm just trying them," said Paul. Pamela stood and made to slap him. Xola stood between them. Pamela's slap landed on her cheek.

"How dare you hit her!" roared Ike. Xola looked at him. He was advancing towards Pamela murderously. Xola rose quickly from the floor and stood infront of him.

"She didn't mean to hit me. I got in the way, that's all," she said. Ike was pushing to get to Pamela.

"Isaac!" called Xola. Ike focused on her.

"She didn't mean to hurt me," she said.

"But..."

"The important thing is to help Paul."

"I don't need help!" said Paul.

"You're doing drugs! Of course you need help," said Xola, looking at him. Pamela made to hit him again. Ike side-stepped Xola and stopped her. She started crying. He helped her into her seat, then he looked at Paul. He was looking close to tears looking at his mother.

"Let's sit down," said Xola. She and the men sat down. Pamela had pulled herself together.

"You'll go to rehab," she said firmly.

"I don't need it!" said Paul.

"You're not staying in my home unless you've been to rehab and you're off drugs for good!" shouted Pamela. Paul looked at her as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

"You're over-reacting, Ma. It's nothing! I won't take them again."

"I'm not an only child."

"What?" said Paul, surprised.

"I had a brother, his name was Paul. He died from a drug overdose."

"Oh!" said a shocked Paul.

"You are not following him. You will go to rehab, or I will disown you. I am not losing another family member to drugs."

"I was trying them."

"Rehab, or you live on the street!" decreed Pamela. Paul looked from her to Ike.

"You heard your mother," he said. Pamela looked at him in shock.

"I was experimenting!" said Paul.

"No one in this family does drugs, experimentally, or otherwise."

"But..."

"Choose an institution and check in. I'll be available for therapy sessions if I'm needed. You are not going to be a drug addict."

"I'm not!"

"Therapy will ensure that you keep it that way."

"You're over-reacting," said Paul. His parents were looking at him, clearly unimpressed by his words.

"Sis Xola..." he said.

"She is not your sisi! She is your Ma," thundered Ike.

"I'm his Ma," said Pamela.

"Does he call your husband buti?"

"No, but..."

"What does he call him?"

"I call him Baba," said Paul.

"Then you'll call you father's wife, Ma," said Ike. Paul nodded.

"Ma, please, help me talk to them. They're treating me like I've done something wrong, I haven't. I was experimenting, everyone experiments," said Paul to Xola.

"I will not aid and abet you in doing something that will hurt my children," said Xola.

"I'm not an addict!"

"You'll be their big brother, anything you're doing, they'll want to do. Get help, Paul," Xola said firmly. He looked at the people round him and left the room.

"How did you know?" asked Pamela.

"I smelt mbanje on him on two occasions."

"When?"

"When he visited the sites I was project managing for his father."

"I didn't know."

"He's going to therapy," said Ike firmly.

"Yes, he is. This is the first time we've agreed about something in a very long time," said Pamela.

"Yes."

"I expect you to do it more often where Paul is concerned. I don't want him playing you off against each other and teaching his younger siblings to try that with me and their father," said Xola.

"You're right, we don't need problems," said Ike.

"You always let him do things I've told him he can't do," said Pamela.

"You try to smother him."

"You're not agreeing," said Xola. Ike and Pamela looked at her.

"Alright, I'll ask him what you said and back it up, if you'll do the same," said Ike. Pamela was quiet, thinking.

"If we disagree, let's not do it infront of him, let's argue alone and present a united front," she said.

"Will you agree with what I say?" Pamela's facial expression showed that Ike's idea was not one she would volunteer to implement.

"You two have to agree, and Paul's other father and I have to support you," said Xola. Ike and Pamela looked at her as if that had never occurred to them.

"It's in all our interests to send him one message. I won't be the bad guy alone for disciplining him. I also need you both, and his other father, to support me," said Xola. Ike and Pamela looked at each other, then back at Xola.

"You're right, we all need to support each other," said Ike.

"Sis Pamela, do you agree?" said Xola.

"I won't have you beating my child and abusing him," said Pamela.

"I don't abuse children, but I won't put up with nonsense. If he misbehaves, I'll discipline him."

"No!"

"Then he can't come here."

"This is his father's house!"

"And there are rules in this house. Those who can't abide them are not welcome here."

"Are you going to let her dictate in your house, about your child?" Pamela asked Ike.

"It's our home, and we're agreed about the rules. Whatever she says, I agree with her, and vice versa."

"So you'll let her beat my son?"

"He's our son, all three of us, and your husband. Anyone of us is allowed to discipline him."

"No!"

"I won't have him here if my wife has no parental rights over him. When he's here, she and I are his parents, and if you don't like that, then keep him away."

"You're his father!"

"I've never denied that."

"Then you can't let this woman..."

"This woman is my wife, and I won't have her subjected to bad behaviour from my son, my family, or anyone else. The only reason you're still here, after hitting her, is because she pleaded for you. If you have a problem with the way we do things in our home, don't let us keep you," Ike said curtly. He had a forbidding look on his face.

Pamela looked from him, to Xola.

"You can't..." she said.

"My home, my rules. I won't be dictated to," Xola said firmly.

"He's my son! I have a right to say what he can and cannot be subjected to."

"We are reasonable people, and I realise he's a teenager. We'll make small allowances, but we expect good behaviour. If he steps out of line and behaves outside the realm of ubuntu, he will be punished."

"You have no right to punish my son."

"I'm that boy's father, she's my wife, I give her the right to be his mother when you're not around. Even if you are around, this is her home, and her rules apply," said Ike. Pamela did not like what she heard.

"Go home, and think about it," said Xola. Pamela opened her mouth to say something to Ike, but his cold facial expression stopped her words in her throat. She stood and left.

Xola cleared away the glasses and took them to the kitchen. She returned to the lounge, Ike was on a call. She went to sit on the arm of his chair. His call ended, and Xola sat in his lap. She caressed his face, he was still furious. She moved her head slowly towards his, and kissed him. He held her tight and gave her a deep kiss.

She gasped, breaking the kiss, when she felt his hand on her bare breast. He kissed her breast, then he sucked on her. She threw her head back, her body rioting with pleasure.

She opened her eyes and undid Ike's shirt buttons. She felt his hand on her bare belly, then she gasped as she felt it high on her inner thigh. She undid his belt buckle and put her hand in his trousers. She gave another gasp, feeling his hand in her panties.

He caressed and stroked her, and she shuddered with pleasure. When she opened her eyes, her head was on Ike's shoulder, he was kissing her cheek and caressing her breasts in turn.

"There's a bed in the study, that's as far as I can go," he said in a deep voice. Xola stood shakily. Ike stood too. He took her hand and rushed her to the study.

They stripped each other frantically, then they kissed, caressing and stroking each other. Xola landed on her back on the bed, with Ike above her, kissing her. She rolled, and Ike was on his back. She kissed and caressed her way down his chest, to his belly, as her hands caressed his manhood. He lifted her hands and kissed them.

"I want us to be together," he said. She nodded.

"Condom," he panted. She nodded.

"In the side drawer," he panted. Xola used shaking fingers to find the condom. She tried to unwrap it, but her hands were shaking too much. Ike took it from her and unwrapped it. She made to take it from him, he shook his head. Xola lay beside him and watched as he donned it. He turned to her and kissed her.

She found herself on her back, then Ike was between her legs, pushing into her body. She gasped as he pushed all the way into her. He started moving slowly. She brought his head to her and kissed him. She broke the kiss and pushed on his chest. He landed on his back.

She sat up and sat astride him. She gasped, watching him as he moved about on the bed. He could not hold out for much longer. She moved slowly, trying to prolong the pleasure for them both. Ike gritted his teeth and held onto her hips.

Seconds later, she did not want slow anymore. She moved faster and faster. Ike gripped her hips tight as pleasure made his body shudder and shiver. Finally, he stilled. He opened his eyes and smiled at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, I got carried away," he said. She leaned down to kiss him. He kissed her, then he helped her to sit up.

"Squeeze me," he said. Xola squeezed, then she gasped as Ike caressed the place on her body that was a little above where she and Ike were joined. She felt the pleasure escalating, then she shuddered and shivered with it. She collapsed on Ike's chest.

When she opened her eyes, he had his arms round her. She lay beside him. He kissed her and left the bed. She was disappointed. In seconds, he was back, he put his arms round her again. She kissed his cheek and put an arm across his chest and a leg across both of his.

After a while, they went to shower.

# EPILOGUE

When they were dressed, they went to the kitchen where Xola made sandwiches. They ate them hungrily, then Xola cleaned up. She looked at Ike.

"I have to go home now," she said.

"You can spend the night."

"I have work to do."

"Next time, bring it with you."

"Okay." They walked to the front door, hand in hand. Ike helped Xola to lean back on the wall beside the door.

"Let's register for the civil ceremony," he said.

"Okay."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Let's go back to bed."

"Okay...not!"

"Xola..." They were startled by the ringing of the doorbell. Ike opened the door.

"Are you standing here waiting for me?" asked Msimang snr.

"No, I..."

"Feed me, I'm starving. I'm spending the night. Your mother and I quarrelled."

"About what?"

"Your bride." Ike looked at Xola, then back at his father.

"What are you looking at?" asked Msimang snr, as he entered the house and followed Ike's gaze.

"MaMkhize, you were right to be afraid. I'm sorry to say that my wife and daughters had talked to people about having you blacklisted so you couldn't work anywhere in the country."

"What? Why?" asked Ike.

"They've chosen a wife for you, and they want you to be rid of MaMkhize."

"That will not happen."

"I totally agree. I've told your mother and sisters to reverse their actions. Your mother refused. I left. Can I have something to eat, makoti?" Xola greeted Msimang snr, then she went to cook.

"This was fantastic, MaMkhize, thank you," said Msimang snr, as Xola put food before him. She smiled, and made her goodbyes. Ike walked her to the car. He gave her an absent-minded kiss on the cheek, and helped her into her car. She drove off, wondering if his family would pressure him out of marrying her.

She forced herself to focus on her work at home. When she was done, she could not sleep. She phoned Ike several times, but his phone went to voicemail. She tossed and turned, and fell asleep after three in the morning.

She was groggy and tired when it was time to wake up. Later in the day, Ike phoned her and she heaved a sigh of relief when he suggested that they register to marry that week.

After work, Xola went to visit Carol at the hospital. She and her son, Carl, were fine. Carol loved her son completely, it was clear that she was no longer interested in giving him up for adoption. Days later, Carl and Carol were discharged.

Xola and Ike went to home affairs, to register to marry. The rest of that day, Xola psyched herself up to tell Baba what she and Ike had done. She phoned him a few evenings later, when she felt strong enough to listen to his words of condemnation.

"How are you, my girl?" he greeted. Xola looked at the phone in shock. It had been a long time since he had talked to her as if he liked her. She put the phone back to her ear.

"I'm fine, Baba, how are you?"

"Fine. Your father-in-law came to see me."

"Oh!" said Xola as her heart sank. She closed her eyes in defeat.

"We talked and he compensated me for the loss of my job," said Baba. Xola opened her eyes in shock.

"He compensated you?"

"He gave me seven head of cattle by way of an apology. He's a decent man. I'm sure you and his son will have a good life together. Your mother and I are coming to your ceremony."

"What ceremony?"

"Your father-in-law says you and your man are going to court to legalise the marriage."

"Yes."

"That's good. We'll be there. We're proud of you." Xola looked at the phone after the call, then she phoned Ma. Ma also told her that she was very proud of her.

After the call, Xola wept. It had been too long since she had heard those words, and hearing them brought tears of joy to her eyes.

Next day, she bought a gift and took it to Msimang snr's offices.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Everything is fine. Baba says you went to see him?"

"Yes."

"You didn't have to give him anything."

"I know, but I want you and Isaac to have a good marriage. It can't work if any of your parents are against it. I fixed things with him and with your mother-in-law. You and Isaac will be fine."

"Thank you, Baba. I brought you this, to show how much I appreciate what you did."

"I don't need anything. Give that to Isaac."

"He'll get his own gift, this one's for you, Baba."

"Oh, alright," said Msimang snr, as he took the gift. Xola gave him a big smile, then she left.

She gave notice to her landlady then she started compiling a list of which of her things to take to Ike's home, which to sell, which to give away, and which to throw away. Over the next week, she sold and gave away what she was not taking to Ike's home.

She was about to start cooking one Saturday afternoon, when she heard a knock on the front door. She asked who it was, then she opened the door cautiously and looked at Mrs Msimang and her daughters.

"Are you going to let us in?" she asked. Xola stood debating, then she let them into her home. She closed the door and led the way to the lounge. She invited everyone to sit down, then she went to get drinks. She put her phone on record, then she took the drinks to her guests, wondering why they had come to see her. She served the drinks, then she sat down.

There was a long silence while everyone took very small sips of their drinks.

"We've come to welcome you to the family," said Mrs Msimang. Xola choked on her drink and looked at her in shock.

"You make Isaac happy, and we want him to stay happy," said one of Ike's sisters.

"Forget about our last visit, let's start again. Hi, I'm Rebecca," said Ike's other sister.

"Hi, I'm Xola," said Xola.

"Hi, I'm Leah," said Ike's other sister. Xola greeted her, then she looked at Mrs Msimang.

"Hello, Ma," she said.

"Hello, my child. I don't blame you for being suspicious of us. We're really welcoming you to the family. Isaac made it clear that if he had to choose between you and us, he'd choose you," said Mrs Msimang. Xola gasped in horror.

"We don't want to make him choose. If we all make the effort to get along, we can all be members of one family," said Mrs Msimang.

"Yes," said Xola uncertainly. Mrs Msimang smiled.

"I'm sorry about what I said the last time I was here. I've long wanted Isaac to marry the daughter of friends. He made me see that by getting to know your parents, you too will be a daughter of friends. Isaac doesn't threaten to break ties lightly, he meant what he said, and we mean what we say. I'm your other mother, and Rebecca and Leah are your other sisters. Isaac says you have three sisters?"

"Yes."

"I hope they come to the wedding. I want to meet all your family members."

"I was about to make lunch, I hope you'll stay and join me," said Xola.

"We don't want to inconvenience you."

"I want to do it, please stay."

"You really want us to stay," marvelled Rebecca.

"Yes."

"You're more forgiving than I would be."

"We'd love to stay, Isaac and his father swear you're the best cook on the continent," said Mrs Msimang.

"They exaggerate. Would you like to join me in the kitchen?" invited Xola. Her guests were helpful in the kitchen, and loved her food. When they left, Xola walked them to their cars and thanked them for their visit.

Once they were gone, she phoned Ike.

"Isaac Msimang, if you ever threaten to break ties with your family again, I will never speak to you again!" she shouted.

"Who told you..." said Ike.

"Your mother! Do you know how it looks? It looks as if I put you up to it. Your family will blame _me_ for destroying your family. Don't you ever, ever, do this again!"

"Alright, Xola," said Ike. Xola closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"I'm jealous," said Ike. Xola opened her eyes.

"Of what?" she said.

"Baba says you gave him a gift. Did you get me one too?"

"Of course I did," Xola said in a small voice.

"You're a terrible liar."

"I'm sorry, I'll make a plan tomorrow."

"I'm going out of town."

"Why?"

"I have to sort something out in Polokwane."

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know."

"Are you leaving me?"

"Of course not! Why would you even think that? I'll be back. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you."

"I'd like that."

"Paul didn't go to therapy." Xola was thrown by the change of topic.

"Why not?"

"The therapist confirmed that he was experimenting. His mother has insisted that he go to several meetings of narcotics anonymous, or something like that. He's been to three meetings, Pamela swears he'll never try drugs again."

"I hope he sticks to that. Can I come and see you off? When are you leaving? Ike? Isaac?" said Xola, listening to the silence on the phone line.

"Rotten egg! How could this call be cut?" she said.

"The call hasn't been cut," said Ike.

"Oh, I thought..."

"You can't see me off."

"Why not?"

"I'm on the road already."

"Isaac!"

"I left three hours ago."

"How dare you leave without telling me! This better not be the way you operate when we're married."

"It isn't, Xola. I'm sorry to leave without telling you. This is a very urgent matter."

"All you needed to do was pick up the phone and tell me, before you left."

"I'm sorry."

"Hmm. Are you telling me that you're talking to me all this while, and you're driving? Isaac Msimang, get off the phone right now. I'll never forgive you if you get yourself into an accident."

"I'm not driving, someone else is driving."

"I'm glad. Phone me when you get to your destination, no matter what time it is."

"I never knew you were so bossy."

"Do you not want to marry me now?"

"I think marriage to you will be a wonderful experience. I love you, Xola."

"I love you too, Ike."

Over the next two weeks, Xola missed Ike terribly. Whenever she phoned him, she got voicemail, and whenever he phoned her, she was in a meeting with her phone off, or she was asleep. He would leave messages.

One night, she was missing him so badly, that she went to his home. His housekeeper told her he was out.

"I'm the future Mrs Msimang, I've come to spend the night here," said Xola. The housekeeper, MaHadebe, refused to let her in. Xola phoned Mrs Msimang, who then spoke to MaHadebe, who let Xola in.

"Sorry, I didn't know," said MaHadebe.

"You were doing your job, protecting the home," said Xola. MaHadebe smiled at her and led her to Ike's bedroom.

Over the next few days, Xola moved her things into Ike's home.

She was watering some flowers one evening when a car drew up. She went to close the tap, then she went towards the car. A man was standing outside the open passenger door.

"Xola?" said Ike.

"Ike?"

"What are you doing here?" Xola was so excited to hear Ike's voice and ran to him. He met her half way and held her tight, then he kissed her.

"I have missed you so much," he panted, looking at her in the car's headlights.

"I missed you, too," said Xola.

"Hi, Xola," said another voice. Xola turned to the speaker. He was the car driver and he was standing outside the car.

"Uncle John, hi," said Xola, and she went to hug him.

"I'm not staying, Ike. I want to get home to my family," said John. Ike took his luggage out of the boot and John left.

Xola looked at Ike, he was exhausted.

"You need to sleep, come," she said, taking his hand and leading him into the house.

She led him to the shower, and prepared a light soup while he showered. When he was done, she gave him the soup. He drank all of it, then he fell asleep.

Xola sat beside him, watching him sleep. She smiled as he smiled in his sleep. She caressed his lips lightly, kissed his cheek, then she climbed into bed beside him.

She found him in the kitchen in the morning. They greeted each other and shared a long kiss. Ike sat down.

"I'm sorry I moved in here without consulting you. I was missing you, and this was the only way I could think of to feel close to you," said Xola.

"No apology necessary, this is your home. I'm starving, can I have something to eat?" Xola heaved a sigh of relief and started making breakfast. She invited Ike to go to church with her.

"Xola, I'll never go to church with you, don't bother asking me," he said.

"Why not?"

"I don't need someone to tell me how to live my life."

"Church is not about that."

"Let's agree to differ on this one."

"Okay. Can I take the children to church?"

"Yes, as long as you're not fanatical."

"They'll ask why you don't go."

"I'll handle it. Do you want me to drop you and pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive."

"See you later," said Ike, kissing Xola.

When she returned to his home, her Ma phoned her.

"You're getting married, Xola. You'll leave from Thandi's home," she said.

"But..." said Xola.

"We'll be there the day after tomorrow. You'll spend the night with us. I want to give you some last minute advice."

"You can give it to me after the ceremony."

"I'll give it to you the night before your wedding," Ma said firmly.

"Yes, Ma."

Xola and Ike met their wedding planner, Sonya. She was not happy to be given three days to plan a wedding, but Ike paid her double her rate, and told her that it was a small affair.

Xola went to see the venue, an hotel, and loved it. She took two weeks off work to prepare for her wedding, and to go on honeymoon.

She and Ike hardly saw each other, he was busy making last minute arrangements at work to free himself to go on honeymoon.

The night before the wedding, Xola kissed Ike and went to Thandi's home. She was dreading it. Thandi welcomed her with open arms and introduced her to her children as if she was proud of her. Ma and Baba welcomed Xola as if she was the best child they could have.

Ma had many things to say. Xola fell asleep as she talked. In the morning, Dora, Mpho, and Carol arrived. They and Thandi helped Xola to dress, as Ma supervised. Xola looked in the mirror and smiled with pleasure. The yellow dress she had had made looked great with her complexion, and the pattern highlighted her assets, her long legs, and her buxom bosom.

"You look fantastic," said Ma. Xola's sisters and friends concurred.

Mpho then drove Xola and Ma to home affairs.

Xola saw Ike and could not stop smiling. He looked fantastic in a morning suit. After the ceremony, everyone went to the hotel where the reception was being held. Everyone ate, gave gifts, and made toasts. The cake was cut, there was dancing, then it was time for the guests to leave. Xola and Ike went to the honeymoon suite.

"Hi, Mrs Msimang," said Ike.

"Hi, Mr Msimang," said Xola, as Ike put his arms round her and kissed her soundly.

#  ###

# GLOSSARY

Amalobolo - Money or cattle paid to bride's family by groom's family as thank you for raising a woman who will bear children and grow their family

Baba - Father

Babazala - Father-in-law

Babomkhulu - Uncle, father's older brother

Babomncane - Uncle, father's younger brother

Buti - Brother

Mkhwenyana - Son-in-law or husband

Thula - Quiet

Sisi - Sister

Wena - You

Yeyi – Hey

