My liver probably looks
like a faux gras.
Let's pop it out and
spread it on some bread
you fucking sweetie.
Oh, only if you say my
name while you eat me.
Eat me.
Yeah well,
Andy's liver,
yeah Faux Grandy.
I am a fucking maniac.
Hi I am Andy Milonakis.
I like to combine cheap
grocery items with rare
and fancy things
cause it turns me on.
I'm the fat prince!
Hi Mother Fuckers.
This is Robbie Wilson,
he's a chef from Mattei's
Tavern in Los Olivos.
And where is that?
Santa Ynez Valley, just
a little north of here.
You might have
heard of it.
805 bitches.
And our boy
Nick Kroll and
by our boy I mean my
boy cause I'm the only
one that's
friends with him.
I don't know if he'll be
your friend but he might.
What are we making today?
This would be
Steak-umm sandwich,
I'm not really sure
what a Steak-umm is,
maybe you can tell me,
there is some type
of beef product.
You know if you've ever
had a Philly cheese
steak, it's like
a slice of beef and
a slice of heaven.
Just like your mom.
So let's talk
about this dish,
because it's
very important.
This is like, people are
gonna be talking about
this dish for
centuries faux gras Mrs.
Butterworth.
Who?
It's a very
attractive one.
Mm.
Keep going.
It's not awkward.
It's not awkward unless
you make it awkward.
It's not awkward.
Keep going.
What else is the dish?
Cheddar cheese.
English muffin.
Mayonnaise.
Pepper.
We do have things
like Cheetos as well
which we'll take
a look at this and
see if this dish
needs more texture.
He's leaving soon okay?
We can crumble
up Cheetos.
Do you, do you,
are you okay?
Do you need a towel?
He's leaving soon.
Oh, sorry.
What else is it?
I don't even know
where I left this off.
We need to get the faux
gras into the mayo.
And then we can
cook the steak.
And the great thing about
this dish is probably
gonna come together in
maybe all of 2 minutes.
Oh, you use chopstick.
Too I think we
need more faux.
Fuck yeah we
need more Faux.
I would, if no one was
looking I would just use
my little finger.
Much better.
Much better?
Salt?
Little salt.
Okay, so
were done with the mayo.
Freeze that shit.
Put it in
the freezer because
we need a couple of
minutes to get it cold.
English muffins
are really weird.
They are.
Because they're not
really split.
Did you wash your hands?
Me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I always
wash my hands.
Okay, great.
Never know.
Looks pretty good.
So, I just wanna
toast these guys.
Cheddar cheese is
a big important thing.
I want a piece.
You wanna try a piece?
See how it goes.
Yeah, I'm hungry man.
Yes.
Don't get the name
Fat Prince for nothing,
mother fuckas.
I'm a little scared,
but maybe we should,
you wanna open one
of these for me?
Okay.
There's plenty of
fiber in that box.
Yeah.
It's all disintegrated.
How did I used to
eat this shit?
Do we want to crumble
some Cheetos on that for
texture?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Texture is everything.
Why didn't you love
me enough, Dad?
Dad?
I didn't really
crush 'em up at all.
Perfect.
May I have this
Cheetos dance?
Only if you lead.
First I'd like to offer
my apologies to my wife
and son who
are home right now.
You lead?
They'll forgive you.
Cheetos, does it have
to be something about
Cheetos if they're
dancing on them.
Don't stop.
Wait, here, let me throw
some on the grill.
Did you know
they say good
quality of the meat if
it sticks to the hood?
I just was in Japan
eating the best beef
in my lifetime, and
now I'm back in America
eating steak-umms.
What did I do wrong?
This is gonna be good.
Looks done to me.
I think it was probably
done when it was put
in the wrapper.
I'm using the sides
as a little scoop.
You sure are.
Plastic spatula
suck penis.
Hey, you watch
your mouth.
Oh you're going
broiler style.
Yeah.
Just a little melt,
just to soften it up.
What's the deal
with the syrup?
Cause there's all
this fatness,
the syrup is kinda
gonna cut through.
And generally whenever
you eat like you know
faux there's
always that like.
Really like sweet
component to it as well.
Mm.
I think that's great.
Especially this
bite right here.
Well that is
an absolutely beautiful
looking plate.
Mm.
I can't wait to eat that.
Andy.
It's your friend,
Nick Kroll.
I've got gum in my mouth,
I'm wearing sunglasses
inside, and I'm ready to
eat the delicious
food you prepared.
How's yous'e doing?
Totally glorious
right now.
Well, this is my
friend Robbie and
he's a crazy chef.
Hi, Nick.
Hi, Robbie.
We made a amazing steak
'em sandwich with faux
gras mayonnaise.
Some Cheetos and some
Aunt Jemima syrup, and
some, what
kind of pepper?
Aleppo.
Aleppo, can you
say Aleppo?
Aleppo.
It's really
an interesting and
a fascinating pepper.
Where does it come from?
Aleppo, Syria.
Ha.
Really?
It is, and
it has funded, I think,
the ISIS war I think.
I think all through
the Middle East.
Well I'm looking
forward to it dropping
a flavor bomb on me.
And it will not.
Sorry to interrupt.
Can you take
your gum out?
It's kind of distracting.
I'm chewing gum,
what's the big
deal with chewing gum?
I, just, we're talking,
we're doing a show.
That's right, you can.
I'm okay.
Okay, Dad.
All right.
Yeah, that's good.
I appreciate that.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
It's good.
We got sweet.
We got salty.
Mm-hm.
We got crunchy.
Uh-huh.
Little gum
behind the ear.
Now how do you guys
decide what you're going
to put in,
in these candies?
I, I came up
with all of it.
Andy is actually the
mastermind behind a lot
of LA's
Its most popular menus.
Really?
How do you,
do you feel accepted by
the, the food community?
This is what I feel like
about the food world.
Take that to the bank,
America's Funniest
Videos.
I smartly went and
had a cheeseburger
about 45 minutes ago.
That was a good move.
It's kind of like.
Did you take
the cheese tops off?
Yeah.
It's kind of
like jerking off before
you go see a girl so
you can last longer.
That's how I am with this
sandwich, this is like,
otherwise I'd be
plowing through it.
But I actually
jerked off before
I ate this sandwich.
That's funny because
I jerked off
into that sandwich.
I can taste it.
I'm about to put my ear
gum back in my mouth.
Put it back in.
Ear gum face.
Mm.
Mm.
I wrote the questions for
you guys to ask
each other.
Nick can you do an
impression of Bill Cosby?
As a guest here
I feel as though
it's not my place
to do that.
But as our host I feel
like I'm wondering if you
can do an impression
of Bill Cosby?
Spot on.
I thought it's
a little more Theo
than Bill Cosby.
Why is faux gras okay?
I don't think it's okay,
I think it's fantastic.
I encourage faux gras.
You know, those geese,
those ducks are put on
this planet, to provide
a service for us, and
the fact that their
pumping them through of
alcohol they have
anesthesia through them
the whole time,
so their fine.
I thought they just
fed them grains.
They do, but their
pumping the good stuff
their pumping
alcohol in them.
Really, so
my liver probably
looks like a rock.
Let's take a look.
Yeah, woah.
Next question is Andy
wants you to know that he
loves you, but he was
afraid to say it himself.
Can you tell Andy that
I love him very much.
And that nothing
would bring me
greater joy than to
cut open his stomach,
take out his liver and
spread it on toast.
Big piece of faux grande.
You care.
I care very
deeply about you.
Andy overheard you
dogging gourmet grill
cheese, what gives?
First of all I hate
the word gourmet, and
I don't like.
The over-think of
grilled chilled.
You need deli deluxe,
you need white bread.
That's the best
grilled cheese around.
What's deli deluxe?
Those are those
little Kraft.
The fat singles.
Not the,
with all the fat.
I'm fat and single.
You're a little piece
of cheese aren't you?
Oh yeah.
Last question, what
area code do you rep?
I rep the 805, bitch.
Originally I rep the 914.
Oh, me too.
Do you still, is that
how you think of it?
When you have, when
someone's like what's
your area code?
914?
I mean
it's not the cool
one to rep, but
that's what I really
rep as like growing up.
Yeah.
Like all my life.
Yeah.
But wait, where in
Westchester are you from?
I forget.
Rye, New York.
And look how
far we've come.
I know, right.
Alright, well thank you
to our lovely guests.
I want to say thank
you for feeding me,
both of you.
You're welcome.
He's a very funny chef.
He's a very funny chef,
and a very, and
a very delicious chef.
Yeah.
I'm like starting a,
a health food line, and
I'd like this to be
the flagship sandwich on
that health food line.
Sick.
Maybe if, since we
have it, the sandwich.
We could eventually have
it as the movie and
it's like a 90 minute
movie of us all cooking
it and
being friends forever.
And then they credits,
bloopers or
just the vicious diarrhea
that we're all gonna have
in about 10 minutes?
Yeah and
we'll have like the D,
the DNA of Kubrick like
kind of we'll just inject
it into a shitty fucking
director like Michael Bay
and just like.
Hey, come on.
Whoa.
Micheal you
just got called out
by the fat prince.
Oh!
You heard that
Micheal Bay?
Micheal Bay, eat a dick.
Alright, that's all
the time we have today.
Thank you to our lovely
guests, Robbie and Nick.
I guess that's
our fucking show.
Go fucking do something
else you losers.
If you wanna make this
crazy Steak-umm sandwich,
click on the link
below for the recipe.
Now.
You dogs.
