 
###  Copyright:

### By Odette Botha

Smashwords Edition

Cover Design by: Audrey Ross

###  Prologue

"I am nervous; do you think I would be able to pull this off?" Katie asked Dean as she looked in the mirror.

"I am your best friend and I would be an idiot if I lied to you now, today of all days. Katie you are strong, you will pull this off because for as long as I have known you, you would rather chew your own arm off than fail or show weakness."

Katie didn't know if she should take that as a compliment or an insult, none the less he did have a point.

"Thank you I guess. Its just after allot of drunken pouring my heart out nights, to who ever was willing to listen, I just don't know what to say to him if I had to see him again that's all.

"It's because in my head I had this pretty picture of how I would look, how he would see me and then we would just fit in to our old roles. Instead I look like the way I feel fat and ugly. He is used to being around nice looking girls, I saw it on his profile he is a real life Casanova."

Katie knew by saying all this it wouldn't make her feel better but she had to get it out because it was eating away at her.

"Listen to me; you had this guy long before these beautiful girls had him, you are beautiful, you are successful. You are working on a film set with the most gorgeous movie stars and you are worried about a teenage crush coming to town," Dean said rubbing her shoulders, he knew the words were true but to get it across to Katie was hard, she was so set in the past she didn't realise she was in fact a catch.

### Chapter 1

'What is the worst that can happen?' I asked myself as I was sitting watching the director fight over the next scene.

I wasn't thinking about what he was shouting about, I was thinking about my date that night.

I hadn't seen him since I was a teenager but yet I still had all the feelings of an insecure teenager. I had since become a successful published author, most of my books except the first reached the best selling list and still I was as insecure as I was when I was just an intern at a publishing company.

'I am Katie Roberts, what do I have to be afraid of? They are making a movie of my book'. I kept on telling myself watching the clock constantly.

In four hours I was going on a date with Jake Troy, the guy that I have always seemed to have in the back of my mind as my perfect fit. All the men I had dated after our short lived romance never lived up to him, because everyone was always compared to him.

I started watching his profile on the internet just to know what was going on in his life; it was somewhat unsettling because I started feeling like a stalker.

"Miss Roberts."

Suddenly I was alert and back to reality.

"Yes?" I asked looking up at the personal assistant in front of me.

"Mr Scott would like to have a word with you in his trailer."

I looked down at the script on my lap for a split second and just like that he disappeared into the crowd again.

It wasn't the first time that Ben had spoken to me but somehow the guy was terrified of the thought of me.

"Ah Miss Roberts, glad you could give me a moment," he said smiling as he opened his trailer door.

There was something about Joshua Scott; I couldn't put my finger on it. Either he was just a charmer by nature or he was a very good actor. What ever it was; it wasn't important at that moment.

I was on set to give the actors guidance on their characters, so I went to them when I was summonsed.

"Mr Scott, always a pleasure and by the way you can call me Katie."

I took his hand to help me get into his trailer.

I walked into the trailer and looked around for an open script that he might have had problems with; why else will he want me in his trailer?

"Katie would you like some coffee?"

"No thank you Joshua. Why did you call me here?" I asked very irritated.

"You don't waste time on questions do you?"

He looked over at me and smiled, I actually felt embarrassed at my directness.

He was charming and he had a large fan club, I personally didn't think of him in that way. I appreciated him as an actor and I did find him very attractive, now and then I found myself flirting with him, it was innocent. I never allowed myself to openly flirt with him.

"The reason why I called you here was; I wanted to know what you thought of me?" He asked sitting down on the sofa.

"Let me get this straight you called me here; to ask me what I thought of you?"

He nodded.

"Well I like you as an actor, which is why when the casting was done for this movie I requested that you be on the list of actors to play the part of Thomas. More than that I can't say, I don't really know you as a person."

He looked at the floor almost disappointed at my answer.

"Do you want to get to know me?"

I have never seen this side to Joshua before he always came across as a confident person; he had teenagers outside screaming and crying when they saw him. It never occurred to me that he might be shy or unsure of himself.

"Joshua I don't think that's appropriate," I said in a soft unsure voice.

"Is it because I am a Hollywood actor?" He asked smiling.

"No not at all, I just think it would be unconvertible because we are working together. I hope you can understand, I don't want any unpleasantness on set."

I looked in his eyes when I said that knowing that nothing I said sunk in.

"Are you seeing someone?" He asked.

"Not that I think its any of your business but yes I might, I have a date with someone special tonight."

I got up and walked towards the trailer door.

"Katie I hope it goes well then," he said with a hint of a smile on his face.

"Yes me too. Joshua thank you anyway, I am sure we can get to know each other better as friends."

I tried to make the atmosphere lighter.

"Yes that would be great."

I opened the door and walked out before he could say anything else.

As I walked away I couldn't help but smile. I was so insecure about myself earlier and then a Hollywood actor makes a pass at me, who would have thought?

I grabbed my cell phone out my pocket and phoned my best friend Dean immediately this was the kind of news he would have enjoyed.

### Chapter 2

"Hi you will never guess what happened!" I said giggling like a school girl.

I told him the whole story and as per his instruction I did not leave out a single detail. "You should have made a date for later tonight or tomorrow," Dean suggested. "What are you thinking, booking me out like an escort?" I asked laughing.

"Katie a Hollywood actor for heaven sake, don't you have any fantasies about an actor?"

I should have known Dean would make a comment like that.

"I know you do," I hit back.

"You know it," he said laughing

"Listen all I am saying, Katie dear is you are playing the field and lets admit the obvious, we aren't getting any younger. Maybe Jake doesn't work out and then you are going to regret saying no to Mr Yummy."

Dean had a point although I had never thought of the possibility of Jake not working out.

"Alright friend I have to go, I will phone you tonight after my date."

I saw the producer walking towards me, so I just closed the phone and jerked it into my jacket pocket.

### Chapter 3

Hair done, makeup done. I went through the list over and over as I sat on the couch looking into the hand mirror.

'I can do this' I kept on telling myself.

At 7 o'clock I pulled the door closed behind me. Our date was for 7 o'clock at a French restaurant I had discovered down the road from my apartment. The one nice thing about living in the city centre was being close to everything. My car had been standing in the garage for weeks.

I looked through the glass windows of the restaurant, looking if he was there.

I was late so I figured he would have been there.

I couldn't see him in the crowded restaurant, so I went in and stood in front of the hostess.

"Reservation for Roberts, two people for seven o clock," I said.

The hostess looked irritated, almost as if she hated people talking to her.

"Miss Roberts please follow me," she said as she grabbed two menus and led the way.

"Has the other person arrived yet?" I asked, almost running behind her to keep up with her pace.

"No not yet. Your waiter will be with you shortly."

Her voice was almost angry. I couldn't decide if I had upset her or was this only her personality.

"Good evening my name is Eddie I will be your waiter this evening. Can I bring you something to drink while you wait for your friend?"

He asked smiling.

It was a weird choice of words 'my friend' none the less the waiter; Eddie probably didn't think I was waiting on a date considering that he was so late.

"Yes sweet red wine please."

Eddie nodded and left the table as suddenly as he approached it.

I looked around the restaurant and then I looked at my watch. It was already fifteen minutes past seven and still no sign of Jake. I checked my cell phone but there were no messages.

We met up on the internet on one of the social networks. We spoke once or twice on an internet chat site and decided when he came to the city that we would meet up again. He was in the city for five days on business and this was the only night he had free.

Another fifteen minutes passed and I gulped down the glass of wine.

"Another?" Eddie asked as he leaned in with the bottle of wine.

"Why not?" I asked pushing the glass closer to him.

Just when I thought of throwing the second glass of wine down my throat like a tequila shot, I saw him.

I thought about waving but then again I didn't want to look too obvious or desperate.

So I played it cool, I looked the other way and timed it for exactly five seconds before I looked back at the door.

"Jake Troy," I said getting up to kiss him on his cheek.

"Katie Roberts," He said giving me a hug.

"It's been too long, sorry I am late I had to take care of something's and I completely lost track of time," he said smiling at me.

"Not a problem I was late too, I also had things... Anyways how are you?"

'Good save Katie' I said in my head.

"I am good, I am just so glad to see you. You look amazing, wow how did I ever let you slip?" He asked with the usual Jake charm.

"I had to go finish high school Jake and I think so did you."

I felt relaxed all of a sudden, he was still the same person I remembered, there was nothing to be nervous of.

"When I saw your profile I just had to invite you, isn't cyberspace fantastic? Are you still single?"

I couldn't believe his question; that meant he followed my profile status. It changed from single, to its complicated, to in a relationship and back, to single all the time.

"Yes I am single. I am just a single gal." And just like that I screwed up. Why couldn't I erase those words as they came out my mouth?

"And you? Are you still single?" I asked trying to erase my previous comment.

"No I am not-" he paused for a couple of seconds before he continued,

"I am married Katie, I have been for a year now. But coming here tonight seeing you I wish I wasn't. All the old memories just came back,"

It felt like I just witnessed a terrible car accident. I downed my wine like a tequila shot again.

"No that's fine, we had good memories and now you are married. We can be two adults having dinner?"

As the words left my mouth I knew that wasn't possible. I was wearing my sexiest underwear I put on makeup and had my hair done. I expected more than friendship.

"Katie boyfriends and girlfriends never stood in our way before," he said winking at me, I couldn't believe it.

"No Jake, she isn't your girlfriend and we aren't thirteen anymore. You are married."

I was upset at the thought of him suggesting a one night stand with his wife at home.

"Can you honestly tell me that you didn't expect more coming here?" He asked almost irritated with me.

"Yes Jake I did, I actually expected us to reconnect. What I didn't expect was finding a womanising cheater."

I was angry, I felt my heart beating a million miles an hour.

"You are twenty eight with no boyfriend; living on a virtual reality website and talking to married men, what did you expect would happen?"

He asked with a smog look on his face.

"Your profile stated you were single. You know what, no matter what I say I don't need to justify who I am and what I expected, you are the married one coming on to me."

I looked at him and realised, he was but a distant memory something I will treasure forever, looking at him through the eyes of a teenager in love is better than looking at him through a twenty eight year old single woman's eyes. I grabbed my bag, threw money on the table and left the restaurant.

### Chapter 4

When I got outside I realised that it was pouring with rain.

"Perfect," I said as I walked slowly back to my apartment.

When I got to the apartment building I couldn't go in. I kept on walking never realising that the straps of my shoes were cutting in to my feet. I walked about five blocks, when a car slowed down next to me. I started walking faster because I was scared that the person in the car was Jake, but then I heard a familiar voice.

"Miss Roberts do you need a lift?"

I looked back and saw his face, in any other setting it would have been pretty romantic, if I wasn't so angry and hurt.

"No its okay I am almost home," I answered walking even faster.

"You passed your apartment about five blocks ago. Get in I will take you home," he answered.

"I don't want to go home," I said cleaning the mascara off my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Alright I will take you to my home," he answered.

"Mr Scott I am alright on my own, thank you."

I wanted to get into the car with him, but I knew that I was not in the right mood for him. I would just ruin the working relationship with my confessions and sobbing.

All of a sudden I heard the car come to a complete stop and he got out. I stopped and looked at him, I must have looked so pathetic soaked from head to toe, makeup running not only from the rain but from my disappointed sobs.

"Well if you insist I will walk with you, where are we going?" He asked as he put his hands in his pockets, pulling up his shoulders.

He ran next to me as I was walking as fast as I could to get away from him. I suddenly stopped and turned to him, he was raining wet but he still managed to look every bit as handsome.

"Joshua get back into your car I will be fine."

I couldn't control it I just started crying. He came closer to hold me; he put his hand on the back of my head and held me close to his chest.

We must have stood there for what felt like hours, he did not let me go until I cried myself out.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked him, trying to fix what was left of my makeup.

"I had someone find out your plans and I followed you to see what my competition was like."

The one thing I loved about Josh was his honesty.

I just started laughing, I didn't know what else to do and it was amusing knowing the rich and famous also checked out the compitision as he said.

"And what did you think?" I asked smiling.

"Honestly I thought he was an idiot," he said with a strong obvious reply.

"What am I going to do with you Joshua Scott?"

He smiled as he took a wet strand of hair out my face.

"Ah I think you will work that one out. I am wet and cold, how about we go have coffee?" He asked pointing to his car.

"A limo I didn't even realise, I was so determined to run away from you."

I couldn't believe it, what would I have done if he hadn't gotten out of the car, I would probably have been half way to China.

"It's a good thing I don't take no for an answer, how about that coffee? We can go back to my place, no strings attached just coffee."

I took his hand and followed him to the car, I trusted him.

### Chapter 5

Trust never came easy for me, I never trusted someone until they proved themselves to me, I guess him being there, was the proof that I could trust him.

"Take us home James, please take us through the back entrance we don't want the lovely Miss Roberts exposed to the paparazzi," he said to the driver.

"Back entrance? Thank you I wouldn't want to be in the tabloids tomorrow looking like this."

I tried to cover my knees with the wet dress.

"You always look amazing, it's just they can be vultures," he said.

"I know it must be hard living a normal life with them around all the time magnifying your sort comings, climbing into your privacy?"

I realised for the first time stars need to work harder than a normal person because everything they do was magnified through a lens.

I realised that what Josh had done for me was a risk, if anyone saw him holding me on that street corner it would be plastered everywhere by tomorrow.

I could see the head line; ' _Joshua Scott held unidentified woman on street corner_.'

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked frowning but yet maintaining a smile.

"It's nothing, so where do you live?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"At the Palace Hotel, just till the movie is finished then I might be going back to New York."

Everyone always leaves, that was all I could think about for the rest of the ride. It was funny seven hours ago I didn't even want him, now I was sad at the thought of him leaving.

We stopped at the back of the hotel, we climbed out looking the entire time if there wasn't someone following us.

I just prayed under my breath, 'please not tonight I look horrid.'

We got into the elevator and went up to the top floor. It was the only hotel room on that floor.

It was huge, white décor allot of glass and aluminium furniture. It felt like something you would see straight out of a décor magazine.

"You can put your things down here. We can send your clothes to be dried downstairs at the hotel Laundromat.

Follow me I will show you where the bathroom is, you will find robes in there."

He reached out his hand to take mine. I didn't think about it, I put my hand in his and followed him.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door; I looked around and found the robes hanging behind the door.

As I got undressed I saw my reflection in the mirror I looked terrible most of my makeup was washed off, my eyes were red and I looked so sad. I took a washcloth off the basin and washed my face. I thought it would be better to have no makeup on than to look like a train wreck.

"Are you alright in there, did you find the robe?" He asked by the door.

I opened the door with the wet dress in my hand.

"Yes thank you I am fine."

"Yes you will be just fine. Vanessa will take your clothes down stairs and she will make sure to bring it back when it's dry."

He turned around and gave my dress to the girl dressed in black and white with a name tag on her chest.

"Good evening Miss Roberts I will make sure they take good care of your dress."

She was very polite, I thought.

"Thank you Vanessa you can call me Katie I am no one special."

She just smiled back at me and there it was that sad look I had on my face was now on hers.

"I just meant..." I tried to fix my words.

"Its fine Katie I will bring your beautiful dress back as soon as it's done. By the way I have read all your books you are most definitely someone special."

Just like that, Vanessa made me feel good again.

"Thank you." I managed a smile.

"Katie come let's have some coffee or would you like something else?" He asked taking my hand again.

"Coffee is fine," I said as he led me to the sofa.

"Sit, I will take care of it," he said before he picked up the phone.

"Good evening this is Joshua Scott, could I please have a pot of coffee and a bottle of whiskey and also fresh cream sent up to my room. For two people, thank you."

He put down the phone.

"Is the bottle of whiskey for me?" I asked shocked at what he ordered.

"No I am going to make you the best Irish coffee you have ever had, I know you like alcohol I saw you throwing back the wine at the restaurant," he said winking at me playfully. I didn't want to comment.

Suddenly my phone rang it was Dean.

"Do you mind if I get this?" I asked clutching the phone in my shaking cold hands.

"No not at all."

"Hi I can't really talk now," I said when I answered the phone.

"Why, where are you? Are you in his hotel room?" Dean asked whispering playfully. "No not his hotel room," I said knowing this would bring up another question.

"What! Whose hotel room are you in?" He asked talking louder now.

"Joshua Scott's hotel room but listen I cant talk now. Can we talk tomorrow?"

I asked trying to avoid Josh's eyes, he was sitting next to me on the sofa looking at me.

"You better phone me tomorrow you slut."

Dean didn't mean it that way. We had a very outspoken friendship, most people didn't understand our relationship.

"Alright I will. Go away now."

I closed the phone and pushed it back into my handbag.

"Wow 'go away now.' Don't tell me it's your friend from the restaurant?" He asked and there it was again that word 'friend'.

"No it was my best friend Dean," I answered avoiding eye contact.

### Chapter 6

The order came and he started making his famous Irish coffees.

"This is a bit strong but trust me it will warm you up."

He handed me the mug. I could immediately taste the whiskey, it was very strong he was right.

"It's hmm good."

That's all I could get out.

"Yes it's nice... who am I kidding its strong and awful," he said laughing he took the drink from me and put it on the table in front of us.

"How about just a whiskey?"

He held up the bottle.

"Sure whiskey neat, thank you."

I never enjoyed alcohol neat with people I didn't know. I usually got drunk and then I would pull out all the most embarrassing stories. But I figured I would sip slowly.

"So do you want to talk about tonight?" He asked as he sat down next to me.

"I don't think I should talk about tonight, it was bad enough that I cried on your chest, in the pouring rain, on a street corner where anyone could have taken a photo."

I took a sip of whiskey not realising that I just gulped down more than I intended.

"I think that you should talk about tonight, obviously you were upset and yes you cried because you were hurt, at least I could be there to comfort you. Unfortunately we were standing on a street corner because you ran about a block to get away from me and if someone might have taken a photo then so be it."

I looked at him and for the first time I saw him in a different light.

"You are something else. I will tell you everything, just please promise me you will stop me when I bore you."

He nodded and I started telling him everything.

I kept stopping every now and then to make sure he was still following.

"And that is how it happened up to when I let you comfort me," I said looking at his face.

"That guy is such a jerk, you were so nervous about seeing him and then he treats you like a whore."

His conclusion was harsh, but yet spot on.

"Yes I think that about sums it up."

I just shook my head, hearing the story while telling it brought things into perspective.

"Let's put on some music," he said as he got up.

"We will forget about that ignorant little twat at the restaurant and we will concentrate on you," he said turning up the volume knob on the radio.

"Alright that sounds nice."

I couldn't believe how easy it was to forget; we sat and spoke for hours. He answered all my questions about him and I answered all his questions about me. I felt so comfortable with him. I felt like I could talk to him about anything within reason of course.

"Its getting late and my dress came back three whiskeys ago," I said pointing at the dress lying on the bed.

"You can stay the night, its late, you can sleep on the bed I will sleep on the sofa. I will have James take you home when you have rested," he said looking hopeful.

"I can't Josh, not because I don't want to spend the night with you, I just can't be here in the morning. I hope you understood that," I said looking down at the floor.

I don't even think I understood that, besides for the sound of desperation in my voice I hoped he didn't hear. He moved closer to me on the sofa and took my face in his hands and kissed me gently on my mouth and then he pulled away smiling.

"Very well I will have James take you home, I will see you in a couple of hours on set."

I wanted to lean in and kiss him again because when he kissed me I felt my insides warm up like I had downed a mug of his Irish coffee.

I got up and took my dress to the bathroom. I got dressed and took my shoes in my one hand and my handbag in the other hand.

I walked towards the door where he was standing.

"Thank you for everything, I enjoyed being with you and talking," I said hugging him.

I pulled away still standing on my toes. He continued to hold on to me, he leaned down and kissed me softly again but this kiss was longer. I could kiss him forever, he was good at it.

"Good night Joshua," I said softly when he stopped kissing me, my eyes were still closed.

"Good morning Katie."

I got into the lift and waited for the doors to close it felt like it took forever, I looked at him and smiled as they closed.

When the doors closed I saw my reflection in the doors. I just started smiling, I fell against the back of the lift. I couldn't believe this feeling I had, I felt like a silly teenager again.

### Chapter 7

The next day or should I rather say a couple of hours later, I woke up in my bed.

The alarm rang in my ears and I just wished I could sleep in a little longer.

I got up and switched on my coffee machine. And just like clock work the phone rang at four thirty.

"Morning slut, did you do it?"

Even first thing in the morning Dean was every bit well... Dean.

"No I got home about three hours ago. We spoke and he kissed me twice," I said screaming like a little girl.

Suddenly I grabbed my head it had felt like I had broken it and it shattered like broken glass.

"Oh my word Katie does this mean we like him now?" Dean asked as if he didn't know the answer to that question.

"We have always liked him we just didn't think that a relationship would be appropriate," I said realising he will have a comeback.

"So why is it appropriate now?" He asked more mature than I expected.

"Because that idiot broke my heart last night and when I was walking on the sidewalk, wearing new sexy underwear, an expensive dress and shoes cutting my feet crying, Josh stopped and he made me feel like a person again, it was so romantic Dean," I said holding my mug to my chest biting my lip.

"I wish I had more details, but please girlfriend never walk far in heals its just wrong and tacky."

There it was the comeback line.

"Come visit me on set today?" I asked never realising he was on his way to my place. "No I am coming through now we can share a cab and you can tell me everything."

He got there ten minutes later holding up an espresso coffee.

"You are my soul mate," I said kissing him on the cheek as I took the cup out of his hand.

Dean was the gay friend every woman wanted. He understood me and we got on splendidly. He was into guys and so was I. It was the perfect friendship I had the inside scoop to the world of the opposite sex.

While I was in the shower he sat on my bed, I told him exactly what happened the night before.

"Katie I am glad you are happy, just promise me you will give this guy a fair chance." I stood in the shower and realised what those words meant, Dean knew me better sometimes than what I knew myself.

"I am happy but it's kind of silly don't you think? He only kissed me twice it wasn't even a date," I said putting the towel around me.

When I got to the room he had already put out an outfit for me.

"You are amazing Dean Sheppard thank you."

I put on my clothes and makeup, while he sat next to me.

### Chapter 8

We were at the set at 05:30 AM as planned.

His trailer light was on but I was unsure if I should go and knock, so I just put my stuff down and got coffee for Dean and me.

"Where is he?" Dean asked looking at the people standing in front of us.

"He is in his trailer," I said showing him where Joshua's trailer was.

"Go knock," he said pushing me in that direction.

"No are you crazy, that's a bit desperate let him come find me," I said pushing back. "Miss Roberts there is something you should see."

Ben put the newspaper in my hand.

"What is it Ben?" I asked as I looked at the gossip coulomb on the back page.

It felt like my world had just come to an end.

There I was on page 8, standing in the rain with Joshua holding me.

The headline: _'Actor spotted with famous Author'_ at least they knew who I was.

I read on in the article _'friends of the actor say that Miss Roberts and Mr Scott have been seeing each other for a couple of months but they kept it quiet while they are filming their new movie "Kind Love" released in cinemas this summer...'_

I couldn't believe my eyes. I threw the news paper on the floor and rubbed my face I just wanted to get rid of that image.

"This complicates things," Dean said as he picked up the news paper and read the article.

"He is going to get rid of me he can't afford this type of publicity, he needs to be 'available' for his fans," I said grabbing the news paper from Dean again.

"Don't look now but he is walking towards you."

I looked up and rolled up the news paper, trying to cover the article.

"Hallo pretty girl," he said as he leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

"How is my pretty girl today?"

"Hi my name is Joshua Scott," he said holding his hand out to Dean

"I am Dean Sheppard," Dean said shaking his hand.

"It's so good to meet you Dean, I have seen you around here you must be Katie's best friend, she speaks highly of you."

Just like that he became one of Dean's favourite people.

"Thank you, yes I am," Dean replied smiling like a cat that got cream.

"Josh did you see the paper this morning?" I asked him giving him the paper clearly, he didn't know.

"Yes I did I hope it doesn't bother you?"

By the way he asked me it sounded like he was more concerned about how I felt than what this could possibly do to his career.

"Aren't you upset?" I asked

"No I want the world to know that you gave me a second glance," he said winking at me.

"Come to my trailer we can have coffee there."

I still wanted to talk about what happened, when I saw Dean following Josh to his trailer.

As far as I walked people on set were staring, I felt so uncomfortable everyone was judging me, and if not what were they thinking?

He stopped walking he looked around and saw the same thing. He turned around and walked up to me, he put his arm around my middle and his other hand on my face and gave me a kiss.

He said softly in my ear, "let them talk."

He kissed me again and kept his arm around my middle as we walked to his trailer.

He closed the door behind me.

"You must realise what this means, we are a couple in public now are you okay with that?"

I looked over at Dean he was nodding in agreement with Joshua.

"I don't know, what will this do to your career?" I asked concerned.

"Screw my career I asked you if you wanted to be my, well... girlfriend?"

He looked shy saying the word.

"Do you want me as your girlfriend or is it just because our photo got out?" I asked him.

I wasn't willing to put my head on the chopping board again.

"Yes I would love for you to be my girlfriend, you are amazing and I love everything about you," he answered.

I was so shocked at his answer.

He walked towards me with a look of uncertainty.

"Yes." Was the only word I could get out.

The next moment the trailer door swung open,

"Are you high, you idiot? We are supposed to be a couple for the publicity for my new movie," the small petite blond girl said standing in the door.

Her name was Taylor she was an actress, she was Josh's arm candy in photos.

They helped each others careers since they acted in their first movie together, the public loved them and decided that they were dating, they went along for the ride because of the good publicity they got.

"I guess the cat is out of the bag then," he said looking angry at the fact that she burst in there.

"You can't do this Josh, we had an agreement," she snapped back.

"I think we should leave, come Dean."

I grabbed Dean's arm and left the trailer.

When I thought it couldn't get any worst the producer came to me. I could see in the way he walked up to me that he wasn't in the mood for games.

"Katie, a word please," he said pointing to a deserted corner on set.

"Is there a problem Lucas?" I asked innocently.

I decided I will use that approach maybe he would let me down easy.

Lucas had always had a way of sorting out little problems or hiccups as he called it.

"My dear Katie there isn't a problem here; I just wanted to tell you that everyone has been talking about you and Mr Scott. I haven't seen this lot so excited and hyped up in a very long time. I just wanted to say if you go public then you must make sure you willing to go on that wild rollercoaster.

I was involved with an actress once and I can tell you its not at all a fun ride, however if you are willing to do it you should.

I don't know how this will impact the movie or your book sales, it might even help. Is this publicity or is this a real romance?"

I looked at Lucas and wondered if he was trying to give advice or did he wonder if I was desperate for money and attention.

"This I think is the real thing. I have no intension of making money off this, in fact I never even thought about my book sales or the profit of this movie. That might have been ignorant of me but I just needed someone and Joshua was there, the rest as they say is history."

He smiled at me as if he understood exactly what I was saying, although I didn't understand half of what I said myself.

"Alright then lets make a movie," he said, he gave me a gentle pat on the back.

In the mean time Taylor was still throwing a fit in Joshua's trailer. I looked around for Dean, he was sitting in my chair waiting for me to come tell him what Lucas said.

"He basically didn't say much so don't look at me like that," I said holding up my hand.

"Katie can I be honest with you?" Dean asked looking more concerned.

"Sure you can, what's wrong now?" I asked.

"I just want to know if you are willing to do this with Joshua. Clearly he likes you allot but you mustn't be with him just because you were disappointed by your date last night, with the one who must not be named. All I am saying is if you mean what you said in the trailer about giving you two a shot you must be honest with yourself and him otherwise the tabloids will read Splits Ville in a week's time."

Dean made sense and all I could get out was a nod. I was disappointed with the date, but somehow I felt a connection to Joshua last night and when he kissed or held me I felt I belonged in his arms, I felt safe.

"Angry actress approaching twelve o'clock," Dean said quickly looking away.

I looked up and saw Taylor walking fast towards me.

"O boy here it comes," I said quickly putting a smile on my face.

"You win he loves you, I am ruined my career is dead thank you."

Clearly this girl was furious with me and I couldn't actually blame her. For months Joshua being on her arm helped her career, and she was right her being on her own might ruin everything.

"I am sorry you feel my happiness is the cause of your career ending. Maybe you shouldn't rely on someone else to carry you in your career?"

I showed my claws for the first time, I decided that I will show someone that I am not a push over. It felt accelerating. She didn't answer me she just turned around and walked away.

### Chapter 9

It was very tense on set after what happened with Taylor, people were talking amongst themselves. I could feel their eyes on me and the fact that Dean had left, made me feel alone and exposed.

Dean couldn't stay because he had his own events company and he had to attend a meeting that he couldn't put off any longer.

Joshua didn't mind the extra attention, he kept sneaking me kisses in between takes and to be honest I also enjoyed him showing me affection not worrying what the other people thought.

That day we only filmed for seven hours, we were ahead of schedule so everyone got rewarded with an early day.

The cast and crew had a couple of off days to rest, before we would continue filming further.

I decided to sit in my chair and wait for Joshua, I didn't want to grab my stuff and run because I wanted to act cool.

As I was sitting there Wendy came over to me, she was Joshua's leading lady in the movie.

"I am happy for you and Joshua if it's true, I know the tabloids exploit the truth but there must be some truth to it?" she asked.

I could see she was unsure if she could open the subject with me.

"Thank you Wendy, I don't quiet know what this is. But I know I like him and I would like to see where this goes. Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it. Everyone has been so weird around me today; I can just imagine the stories doing the rounds."

I wasn't fishing for information, although I would not have minded her telling me. "Actually everyone is happy for you, we all think it's nice that you and Joshua 'found' each other. The blog's on the internet are going crazy and seventy percent of his fans actually like you. It helps that you are a published author.

There are some people who don't like the idea but those are mostly the fans who think Joshua should marry them. It's a crazy world this. You get involved with someone and the next moment you are married then you have babies from another person its crazy."

I was taken aback with her reasoning she was so down to earth and I could hear she had some experience with this.

"I am glad some people at least like me, but I don't like my feelings being so out there."

I was honest with her, what ever she made of it was her story, if she told the others that was fine. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"You like him and he likes you, go for it. We are all happy on set that it's you and not Taylor, she is very demanding and she thinks everyone is her personal slaves at least you treat us like humans."

"Thank you it was a nice chat, I feel a bit more comfortable about coming back to work." I said smiling.

She didn't waste time saying goodbye she had a date with a guy she had met at a club two nights before.

I sat there and waited for Joshua to get out of his trailer.

As I was waiting, the people passing me greeted me as they left, even the people who never even noticed my existence.

"Hi pretty girl," he said as he kissed me in my neck.

I didn't realise that he wasn't in his trailer, he snuck up behind me.

"You almost gave me a heart attack," I said holding my hand against my chest.

He just smiled at me, I never realised I missed him so much during the day although we sneaked a kiss here and there.

Was it normal for me to miss him? We had only been dating officially for a couple of hours. For some reason he made my knees weak and I couldn't wait to see him again or to be in his arms.

### Chapter 10

The scenes where he had to kiss Wendy didn't bother me because for the first time I recognised acting kisses from real kisses. When you watch a movie with an untrained eye, you never realise that the characters are just that, characters they don't fall passionately in love as they go into character.

Granted allot of people do fall in love and eventually get married but you can see the chemistry immediately, it's not a forced thing it's natural.

Before today every time I saw Joshua kiss Wendy, I thought wow they are really good at it, it looked like they could have been a couple in real life.

To them it was just part of the script. Besides I had no right to be jealous; I didn't know what we were to each other yet.

"I missed you today," he said almost reading my mind.

"I missed you too. Joshua we should talk," I said.

I had to get that out there because I needed to finish our discussion of earlier, before Taylor flew into the trailer.

"Yes we should, I asked you a question earlier and I am a bit unsure of your answer. You did say yes but it didn't feel like that was what you wanted to say," he said frowning while rubbing my hands in his.

"Can we go somewhere a bit more private? I don't know if this set is bugged," I said with a laugh but actually I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Do you want to go back to your place or mine? By now the paparazzi are surrounding both my hotel and your apartment. You should see the discussions' on the internet its amazing how they just take a story and plan our future with it."

In a way he sounded sad, when he said that. He was smiling but I recognised his smile as an acting technique, it wasn't his usual smile.

"Let's go back to my place," I suggested.

### Chapter 11

He was right when we got to my place the paparazzi were everywhere, he just held on to me and his body guards helped us get into the lift. He kept on saying in a soft voice, "I am so sorry for this."

I couldn't understand why he was apologising; he didn't have any control over it.

When we got in the elevator and I pressed three, I decided to lighten the mood. I couldn't stand him being so stressed.

"I am sorry but if I press top floor here we will be on the roof and that's not fun believe me, there are pigeons everywhere and they are always in a foul mood.

I tried writing there once, lets just say it was a bad experience and FYI, I never got good luck."

I laughed trying my best to make him smile.

"That's okay I will go anywhere with you, its better fighting off pigeons than paparazzi."

I realised I might have made him feel worst.

The paparazzi were one thing but Mr Murdock living in the apartment across from mine was even worst. He was an old man, he always smelled of peppermint and cigarettes. He lived alone after his wife passed.

I heard his TV most nights wondering if it was on purely for companionship.

"Why are there so many people in the lobby? We should phone the police, I am too old for this," he said grumpy.

He took one look at Joshua and coughed like he was about to die.

"Aren't you that boy from the traffic department? You should tell your boss I am not at all happy with waiting in such long que's."

I could see on Mr Murdock's face that he recognised Joshua but of course he didn't know who he was, he continued coughing.

"Yes I will tell my hmm boss tomorrow first thing. I am sorry about your bad experience. You have nice day further, you really should have that cough checked out," he said apologetic and totally in character as we entered my flat.

I just couldn't stop laughing as I closed my door, I heard Mr Murdock saying, "bluddy kids!"

### Chapter 12

I looked into my flat and realised it was a bad idea inviting a Hollywood star to my run down beat up apartment. Before today I was proud of it but now it looked terrible in comparison to his beautiful hotel room.

"Sorry this place is not exactly what you are use to."

The words left my mouth and I started thinking, should I apologise for being me?

Should I change who I was?

"Katie this is perfect, its so you. I love the décor; it feels like home, warm, loving and relaxed it was a great idea coming here. I feel more comfortable here."

He just kept on surprising me, there was the questions in my mind answered.

I threw my stuff on the table and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Do you want coffee?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

He followed me, I thought he was in the living room sitting on the sofa.

"Yes please," he said standing right behind me.

He made me nervous sometimes, my hands started to shake as I poured the water in the kettle. I tried my best to make it stop, but somehow it just made it worst.

I leaned up against him to get the cups behind him in the cupboard. He just stood there smiling at me, that amazing smile that made my heart melt all over again.

"You could move you know?"

"I am sorry but I am enjoying this," he said straightening his body so that I am even closer to him.

"Do you want to make the coffee then?" I asked playfully.

"I have a confession. About the Irish coffees last night I kind of don't know how to make anything, I can only boil water I did that once."

He pulled up his eye borrows saying that almost as if I would be shocked.

"I figured," I said not making a big deal out of it.

Joshua came from a family who had help. They never had to do anything for themselves.

I come from a family where the more you can do for yourself the better. No one was going to carry you. You get taught how to do something and if you needed help mom and dad will guide, help and give advice but sooner or later you would have to do it yourself.

He decided to contribute and take out the cups out for me.

"Teach me," he said.

"You want to learn how to make coffee?" I asked wondering why he would even bother.

"Yes teach me. This way I can surprise you with coffee when you busy writing or if I should happen to ever spend the night," he said winking at me.

"Spending the night hey? Well I think you will first get allot of practice in before that happens, so don't think the reward for your enthusiasm is around the corner."

I couldn't help but smile.

I took out the sugar and coffee and started throwing it into my cup.

"Okay so the kettle does the boiling, you have seen this before so there is nothing new to that. Now I need to throw the sugar and coffee in, how many sugars do you take? Do you like strong coffee?"  
As I asked him, I realised he really hadn't done this before.

"I always get my coffee ready made, I don't know how many sugars I like. Please don't think I am stupid."

He was clearly embarrassed.

"No don't worry I will make your coffee like mine and if you don't like it we can change the combination till you like it. Do you drink milk?"

That was clearly something he knew the answer to.

"No I don't."

I threw in one sugar with two spoons of coffee the way I enjoyed my coffee, all he needed to do was drink it and then we could adjust it till we could figure out what he liked.

"Alright then, here we go."

I handed him his coffee cup, I took my cup and walked out towards the lounge.

I put my cup on the coffee table and patted my hand on the sofa next to me for him to sit.

"Is the coffee any good?" I asked after I saw him take a sip.

"It's very sweet, and it's not very strong," he said taking another sip.

"Well then you don't normally drink sugar and also you probably drink percolated coffee, you have never had the instant kind.

Do you want me to make you a different kind of coffee?" I asked leaning over to take his cup.

"No Katie its fine, it's not bad, it's actually nice. It's just different," he said grabbing my hand.

"Alright but if you want something else, I can make it for you." I smiled.

"Katie about this morning, I asked you if you wanted to be my girlfriend, you said yes but it felt like you felt pressured."

He certainly didn't waste time. I was still wondering how I was going to open the conversation.

"Joshua I didn't feel pressured I felt surprised. You have been with Taylor for so long and everyone believed you were an item.

I have been single for such long time.

Today Lucas asked me if I was willing to get onto the rollercoaster of being with a celebrity. Since I got onto set this morning it's been a wild ride. Everyone had their opinions, my face was plastered all over the internet and I was just not ready for the bomb that burst on this story."

I could see he was following me but it almost looked like he had expected me to tell him 'Its not you its me.' The good thing about Joshua was his face gave away what he was thinking, I could read him very well.

"I would love to be your girlfriend and I don't care what other people say. I want you to be sure because if we go public as Lucas says, I don't want us to be over by next week and I get described as the one night stand the famous Joshua Scott had."

He got a hint of a smile on his face.

"You Katie Roberts will never be a one night stand. The first time I met you on set I liked you.

When you laugh you make everyone around you smile. When you are late or at a meeting when we are filming the room feels less.

I asked you out yesterday before I knew about your date, because I just wanted you to get to know me, Joshua Scott. I didn't want you to see me as another actor.

"I was disappointed when you said no. No one has ever said no to me. It was refreshing." He laughed.

I understood because I could just imagine everyone always wanted to please him, he had fans that would offer themselves on platters, just to be in the same room as him.

"So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"I have to return my agent's phone calls; he has been phoning all day. And then we are going to forget about the world for one night," he said kissing me on my forehead.

He got up and made the call, he wasn't gone long when I started flipping through the channels on TV. There were photos of me with him on the entertainment segment of the news.

I couldn't believe that they even had a photo of Jake and me dining.

Obviously they followed Joshua to the restaurant and they had Jake and me on some of the photos, in the background.

They were trying to work out who Jake was and how he fitted into the picture.

It's sad really because now Jake had to explain to his wife who I was and why was I dining with him.

Some of the reporters came close to the real story but the others drifted so far off that I wondered if they were only fictional writers themselves, creating this make believe story.

My jaw dropped when I saw they had an interview with Jake outside his hotel. I put the TV louder, I never thought of Joshua being in the other room.

Jake looked somewhat satisfied with all the attention.

"I am Jake Troy. Miss Roberts and I met for dinner last night. We were a couple many years ago and she wanted to see me again. I told her that I am happily married and that we can only be friends.

She was very upset and ran out the restaurant crying. I feel bad that I hurt her feelings but I can't betray my beautiful wife."

He smiled the entire time.

He started walking away but he just had to turn back and give me that last stab in the back.

"I must also mention that in the time I was there, Miss Roberts drank a whole bottle of wine out by herself, we weren't even at the restaurant for half an hour, so I hope she gets the helps she needs. That's all thank you."

He waved to the crowd as if he was the president.

I felt the anger boiling up inside me. I felt sick he lied on TV. He made me out as this desperate alcoholic, how dare he?

"Wow this guy really has problems. Do you want me to ruin him?"

Joshua was standing behind me. I didn't know he watched it too.

"I don't know what to say."

I couldn't help it the tears rolled down my cheeks.

Twenty four hours ago I was excited to see him again now I felt like it would have been better if he was dead. It was harsh but he just ruined me and made the whole story worst.

"If you want me to take care of this I will," he said as he sat next to me and held me against his chest.

"No what can you possibly do, the damage is done," I said.

I knew that if Joshua were to 'do something' Jake would never work in the country again, he would probably make sure that all the social clubs scraped Jake's name of their books. That wouldn't make this situation better.

"Here is a plan; we switch the TV off, we order a pizza or sushi and then we forget about the world.

I am sorry that idiot did what he did but like you say what is done is done. I will have my agent draw up a statement and we can see if we can fix this in a civilised manner?"

His solution was better than the mess going on in my head at that moment.

"Alright did you get hold of you agent?"

I asked remembering he had made the phone call.

"Yes and this might be bad timing but he asked me if we were a couple and if he should make comments when the reporters phoned him. I kind off gave him the okay on it."

I smiled up at him tears still running down my face.

I gave him a gentle kiss on the chin.

"It's fine I don't care who knows, we have nothing to hide."

He nodded and kissed me on my forehead again. He wiped the tears off my cheeks and took a strand of hear off my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"I am here I won't leave you. Even if you drink too much," he said playfully.

I punched his arm.

"Too soon," I said laughing it was funny coming from him.

"She's strong," he said rubbing his arm.

"Yes I am afraid you still have a lot to learn about me and it's not pretty."

He just laughed at me, he picked up the coffee I made him and gulped it down pulling his face.

"I will make you a nice cup next time," I said laughing at the face he pulled.

"No I actually like it," he said trying to make me feel better.

### Chapter 13

We decided to sit on the sofa and watch movies that I had in my DVD collection. It wasn't entirely his taste in movies but he didn't complain.

As we finished the second movie he kissed me gently on my forehead and asked,

"must I phone James and tell him to go home, take the rest of the night off?"

I looked up at him. I wanted him to stay but I wasn't sure if that would give the wrong impression, seen as there were still paparazzi sitting outside my apartment just waiting for him to leave. If he spent the night it would definitely be in the tabloids the next morning.

We had a break from filming for two days so we didn't have to leave the apartment, but still we had to show our faces some or other time.

"You don't have anything here," I said softly and unsure of how he would answer.

"That can be arranged, but if you want me to go then I will. I don't want to pressure you."

I looked up at him wishing that I was the type of person who could just bite the bullet and take chances in life. I was always a person who planned everything down to the last letter. I hated surprises and the unexpected.

I bit my lower lip while reasoning in my head what I should do. I wanted him to stay and that part of me was dominating my fear of what was waiting if he should spend the night.

"I think you should phone James and tell him to bring your stuff; enough for two nights, we don't need to leave the apartment."

As he looked at me, it felt like he could see my soul and what I was thinking.

He had this way about himself he could handle my doubts and insecurities and that was the type of person I needed.

Until I met him, I saw myself as a strong person but then when I got to know him better I realised the sadness in me was my downfall.

No wonder I was looking for love in the wrong places. It wasn't about Jake; it was about me looking for the girl I used to be. When I was younger and before I lived all the disappointments of the grown up life I was wild, sassy and up for anything. But the more I grew up the more I started destroying that girl I used to be.

My psychologist once explained to me that I was at war with myself. At first I thought she was just trying to fill our hour with fancy words. But then I realised she was reading into the things I never said out loud.

I was waiting for him on the sofa while he made the call; when the doorbell rung.

I wasn't sure if I should answered it; what if it was one of the vultures outside trying their luck to get their scoop? It was sad, before Joshua I saw the paparazzi also differently, I always felt that they needed to get the story or the photo because that was their job. They get beaten and their equipment gets broken and all they were trying to do was their jobs.

I always compared it to the worst job I ever had, 'customer services'.

You get trained to know a product and then people phone you and ask your advice or complain about the product. You are there to help but no one understands that they are talking and dealing with an individual not a machine.

You need to put food on the table like everyone else. But somehow everyone thinks that you are the person that must be shouted at, the person that is specially employed for verbal abuse. Just like customer service agents so I thought it was the same with the paparazzi.

Now I felt differently, an actor or actress can't go to a restaurant; they can't go to the movies or even spend time with their families.

Yes if it wasn't for the paparazzi the actors and actresses would have been no one, a regular Joe. But then there is such a fine line between capturing a moment on camera and invading someone's privacy.

I walked up to the door, I looked back at Joshua standing in the kitchen he was still talking on the phone but at the same time he was watching me.

When I opened my door I was relieved to see Dean standing there holding the pizza's we ordered earlier.

"There was a delivery car outside he couldn't get in, so when he saw me and realised I was not part of the other people he asked me to help him get these pizza's delivered.

I paid him and gave him a generous tip don't worry I wasn't stingy.

Why would you order two pizza's for yourself? Clearly you were going to invite me," he said rolling his eyes as if what he said was obvious.

"Actually..." I started but it was too late, Dean invited himself in as he always did; he walked straight for the kitchen.

"Oh I didn't realise I was crashing an existing party," Dean said looking at me motioning his eyes to Joshua.

"Don't talk nonsense you are welcome to stay," I tried.

"If it's not an inconvenience?"

Dean knew how to make everyone else around him want him there.

"Don't be silly sit. I will open a bottle of red wine," I said pushing him into the lounge.

"Are you sure you want to do that, according to sources unknown you have a drinking problem," he said smiling back at me.

"So I have heard, screw Jake what does he know? Anyways he treats woman like toys and I am wrong."

I tried to get a good come back line, yet it fell flat as soon as I had said it.

"Friend we don't have a problem, the problem has us," he joked kissing me on the cheek.

"So what's new in 'Joshatie' as they call you now days?" He asked giggling at the ridiculous name.

"They already combined our names! Ah I don't know."

I sighed it was a roller coaster, there was always something.

"Here is something no one has said to you today. Live a little! You are just getting sadder by the day. I wanted to hook you up on an internet date site a couple of weeks ago because I couldn't stand you sleeping till noon. Not to mention that insomnia problem you had. Black bags under the eyes and pale skin is not you."

Dean always used the shock factor to get attention. It worked with me and the fact that he was always completely honest helped allot.

"You are right screw everything I am going to let him in, I am going to let this nice thing happen to me."

And just there and then I stopped being so pathetic.

### Chapter 14

Dean grabbed a piece of pizza and started eating it like he hadn't been fed in years.

"I see the pizza got here safely," Joshua said smiling as he looked at Dean gulping down the food.

"Listen here pretty boy I have been out having sex all day I am hungry. Oh I am sorry should I still act around the actor?"

Dean joked as he saw the shock on my face. Dean was honest and direct and at times I loved it, other times he could be pretty embarrassing and high maintenance.

"No its fine no acting is required, I am glad you are getting more comfortable around me," Joshua said winking at me probably showing me that I need not worry.

"Talking about comfortable, why are you still here its pretty late?" Dean asked in-between chewing.

"I am staying here for a night or two," Joshua said frowning, he expected Dean to snap with another question or inappropriate comment.

"Alright then, I see we aren't wasting time on the 'lets get to know each other' part of this relationship, clearly you bringing back the fun reckless Katie. You know what, I kind of like it."

He took another pizza slice and grabbed the remote.

"What are we watching?" He asked flipping through the channels.

"We are actually watching Katie's DVD collection," Joshua answered

"Oh that's very sad."

Joshua just started laughing softly he didn't even defend me, I didn't blame him.

"Why don't I phone Alex he can bring some good movies on his way home from the club? We can make it a double date," Dean suggested.

"I don't know the last time the two of you were here you broke the spare bed and I had to replace the bedding."

I tried saying it in a non judgemental way.

"At least someone had sex in this place."

And there it was, that directness.

"By the way Katie how long has it been two years maybe three?"

Dean knew I would not show my claws in front of Joshua.

"That is not important, Dean thank you for that. Anyways if you must phone Alex, but the first funny business you two are out on your ear."

Dean smiled at me as he grabbed his phone.

I was lying in Joshua's arms with my head against his chest. I moved up to whisper in his ear.

"If he has a friend over he gets tired and then he goes to bed earlier."

I could feel his stomach move as he laughed.

"Does he live here?" he asked in a whisper in my ear.

"No his name is not on the lease but I don't even bother anymore, hope you don't mind."

He shook his head.

"Two or three years hey?" Joshua asked a couple of second later in my ear.

"Lets not go there, it's not out of lack of trying believe me. I just can't give something up just like that. I hope you didn't expect too much too soon?" I asked looking up at him.

"No I am actually relieved in a way, I knew you were special it's just the more time I spend with you the more special you get," he said giving me a gentle hug.

"We are in luck Alex is on his way with a bottle of tequila. Oh and the movies."

"Tequila makes me crazy Dean I don't think it's a good idea," I said in a pleading voice.

"Don't get you panties in a twist we will take it easy," Dean said trying to calm my panic.

Usually Dean, Alex, a bottle of tequila and I equal trouble.

I get so happy and careless. Dean usually comes out the closet all over again and Alex makes jokes that no one think are funny but we laugh anyway.

"I can't see that happening," I said under my breath.

"What happens if you have tequila?" Joshua asked even sitting up right.

"She realises that two or three years has been to long, she laughs and loosens up. We can't have that now can we?" Dean asked winking at me.

"What ever you do, you stop me at the third shot okay?" I made Joshua promise.

"I will try."

He winked at Dean.

Joshua was clearly interested in seeing the other side of me. Ten minutes later the door bell rang, Dean jumped up and ran to the door.

"He must really be exited to see Alex or he is excited to get started on the tequila,"

Joshua said.

"Actually they smooch in front of the door first," I said pointing at the door.

Joshua put his index finger under my chin and lifted my face up to his face. He looked into my brown eyes and kissed me softly on the point of my nose.

"Actually that's good news I have been waiting all night to do this," he said kissing me on my lips.

He pulled away after the kiss and looked at my face to see if I had any objections.

I moved up and put my hand on his chest and kissed him again.

I felt like a teenager again kissing my boyfriend, it gave me butterflies. It was like an addiction I couldn't stop.

He pulled me over him so I laid across his lap.

He put his hand on my cheek and kissed me in a way I just never wanted it to end.

In my past relationships I got bored of kissing, I use to make any excuse to end a kiss. But that changed I wanted him to kiss me.

"I wondered how long it would take them. Alex this is Joshua, Joshua this is Alex." Dean tried to introduce.

I felt Joshua's hand leave my face he just waved at Alex not interrupting the kiss. "Come Alex lets prepare the drinks while they eat each other up. Did you bring the lemons?" Dean asked walking towards the kitchen.

Alex followed him in to the kitchen.

I started smiling; I could feel the smile on his face too.

"What is it?" He asked pulling away.

"Nothing kiss me," I said pulling him closer to me again.

The reason why I smiled was because he didn't even look up to great Alex and it's not because he was rude, the kiss was just too good to stop.

Alex and Dean took long to get the drinks prepared, it was also completely silent in the kitchen, now and then I heard a plate or a glass fall over in the dry rack but it didn't bother me. I was more focused on what I was doing.

We moved on the sofa without even realising it, I was lying completely on top of him.

I realised that Dean put the music louder. It still didn't bother me.

I had my one hand under Joshua's shirt, he was rubbing his one hand up and down my back squeezing me ever so gently now and then. I could feel and hear his breathing.

He was about to put his hand under my shirt when Dean came back into the room.

"Alright kids break it up we are going to be social again."

Dean didn't look at us; he just said it while putting the cut up lemons, salt and shot glasses on the coffee table in front of us.

When I came up for air, I tucked the hair hanging in my face behind my ears and looked up at Dean, it must have looked like a dirty look but I didn't mean it.

I looked back at Joshua and pushed out my bottom lip like a little girl not getting her way.

He laughed and gave me one last kiss on my mouth.

I got up and sat upright next to Joshua on the sofa, Joshua straightened his clothes and put out his hand to Alex.

"Sorry about earlier I am Joshua Scott it's nice to meet you."

He smiled his sweet smile at Alex.

"Its fine, I totally understand I am Alexander Addison, you can call me Alex all my friends do, nice to meet you too."

Alex looked at Joshua and I realised he had no idea who Joshua was.

"So where are the movies?" I asked the question but I knew the answer already.

"No movies, Dean asked for tequila and lemons that was it," Alex explained looking confused.

"Alright then let the games begin," Dean interrupted pretending to not have heard a single word.

I heard Joshua laughing softly behind me.

"This is how it's going to work, Katie my dear there will be movies involved just not like you think. We are playing a drinking game. I will start with a movie title lets say 'City of Angles' then the person after me will take one word out of the title and name another movie, for example Joshua will go next and he will take the word city and change it to 'Sex and the city.'

All you have to do is use one word of the title in another title. Easy. We move clock wise so, its Josh then Katie then Alex then me.

If you can't come up with a name in ten seconds you have to take a shot. If you take a shot the next person can start with a completely new title if they want or they can continue with the old one."

Dean always got very exited when it came to drinking games.

"Any objections?" He asked looking at each of us.

"Yes I suck at this," I said.

Joshua started laughing.

"Well then Joshua will get lucky tonight and that would be the end of your sex fast," Dean snapped back, he didn't like people hating the game.

I looked at Joshua; he quickly wiped the smile of his face.

I looked at Dean and shot him another dirty look.

"Don't worry I will look after you I won't take advantage," Joshua whispered in my ear.

I turned around and faced Joshua with a smile on my face, I said in a whisper so that Dean and Alex couldn't hear, "who says I don't want you to take advantage? Things did heat up on that sofa earlier."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled.

I leaned in and kissed him; he put his hands in my hair and kissed me more passionately.

"Kids please Daddy needs to get drunk," Dean interrupted.

I couldn't help it I just started laughing.

Dean poured four shooters one for each of us.

He explained that the glasses would be refilled as we go.

"Who wants to start?" Alex asked looking around to each of us.

"Let the actor start," Dean said.

"Alright, Bad Boys," he said looking over at me.

"You can't say 'Bad Boys 2' no sequels-" Dean interrupted before I could answer.

"I know I have done this before and failed horribly," I said everyone started laughing. "Yes I remember that night," Alex said smiling at me.

"Tell me about it?" Joshua asked inquisitively.

"She got so drunk she started drinking even before she had to say a name, she didn't even try.

That night she just broke up with that guy from the bar who was he again? We were all sitting here and she turned to him and just said, 'You should leave, I am not interested.' It was incredibly funny. He left and we raided the liquor cabinet the rest is hazy," Alex said laughing.

"Yes but you must remember that guy was climbing her out like a creeper plant he kept on pushing himself up against her. She was battling for air. Poor thing," Dean said also laughing.

"You picked up a guy at a bar?" Joshua asked looking surprised.

Before I could answer Dean spoke again.

"In her defence she didn't pick him up, he was friend of a friend and she didn't expect him to be so pushy but the best part was afterwards we heard that this guy had a crush on Katie ever since she was engaged to that Tommy guy, it was before my time."

As soon as the words left Dean's lips I regretted it.

"Wait you were engaged?" Joshua asked.

Dean pulled a face and grabbed a shot glass, he realised that I hadn't spoken to Joshua about Tommy yet.

"You can't drink Dean its not part of the game," Alex interrupted.

I grabbed a glass and threw it down my throat.

"Hush Alex soon you will also need one," Dean said filling our glasses again.

"Yes Joshua I am sorry it came out like this but I was engaged for a year, three years ago. He abused me and he cheated, I finally managed to get away with just my laptop and some of my clothes."

I didn't look at him when I said it. Joshua pulled me closer and held me.

"I will have him killed if you want?" He joked.

"Oh that's fine he committed suicide two weeks later," Dean said shaking his head, looking as if he wasn't bothered.

"Enough about that," Joshua said ending the conversation.

"Let play before you guys finish all the alcohol, Katie you are next, make me proud baby," Josh said rubbing his hands together.

"Don't worry knowing Alex he brought more than one bottle."

"You know it." he said pointing at his bag standing next to him.

"Alright, 'Boys don't cry.' I think that's a title." I said unsure.

Later on we started singing songs off the sound tracks of movies, not even playing the game. I had way too many shooters and so did Dean and Alex.

Joshua had his fair share but not nearly as many as us. I was so calm and relaxed it felt like I could do anything.

"Say Joshua why does Dean refer to you as the actor? Is it an inside joke?" Alex asked.

I could hardly make out what he was saying he was that drunk.

We all started laughing; he saw that and also started laughing even though he didn't know why.

"Wait why is everyone laughing?" He asked confused, frowning.

"It's because I am an actor, I am in movies," Joshua explained.

"Oh yah name one," Alex challenged.

"I am in Katie's movie," Joshua said.

"Oh you are the guy that she said was so hot, the one she can have on a cracker for lunch, I personally have no idea what that meant but okay that's nice she got you. Did she have the cracker yet or something?"

Alex looked even more confused as the words left his mouth.

Dean had to stop laughing before he could explain.

"Alex yes this is the guy and what Katie meant was she would love to have hot sex with him in exiting places, like in a public toilet or on the back seat of a limo or on the kitchen counter or something. Am I right Katie?"

Dean's explanation was almost spot on but yet too straight forward; I could feel Joshua sitting up behind me waiting for my answer.

"I won't say in public toilet but I suppose the rest is true," I said taking another shot.

I didn't know if it was the alcohol or Dean's comment that made my cheeks red. "Wait this is really turning into an interesting night. You liked me but yet you rejected me?" Joshua asked.

"You my dear Joshua was or is her fantasy, no one gets involved with their fantasy partner, who are you going to fantasise about then?" Dean answered before I could.

Joshua nodded almost agreeing with that statement.

"I have fantasies about Katie; I have had them since we met. I remember that day she was introduced to the cast, I didn't even look up from the script.

I had expected someone totally different but when I did look up, I just knew I had to have her."

Dean's mouth hung open. Suddenly Alex came out of his drunken trance.

"Wait you are that guy from that series, the one about all the kids," Alex said as he pointed to Joshua.

We all started laughing again.

"Yes that was me. Well done Alex," Joshua said laughing.

"I think we should put him to bed," I suggested to Dean.

Dean nodded and tried to get up to help Alex but he couldn't manage.

"I think both my feet are asleep," Dean said laughing now so much that he just gave up on getting up.

"I am not going to bed, let's play another game," Alex said after a long delay.

I looked up at Joshua and asked, "are you tired?"

He looked at me and leaned over. I was sitting on the floor between his legs lying against his chest.

"Where am I supposed to sleep, because if I am sharing a bed with you I don't think I am going to sleep?"

I bit my bottom lip.

"Guys I think we should go to bed Alex needs to sleep it off," I said.

He started kissing me softly in my neck that was when Dean decided that no one was going to bed, he wanted to have a proper visit and he wasn't going to let us go.

"No we are going to visit besides you two have only been dating for what twenty four hours? There is plenty of time for that."

I looked up at Joshua and whispered in his ear, "do you want me to insist."

"I would love for you to insist, but we can visit a while longer clearly Dean misses having your undivided attention. We can always take a long limo ride tomorrow or bake a cake or something in your kitchen on the counter."

His eyes were smiling but his face was serious.

I nodded with the biggest smile on my face. In a way I was relieved that he understood.

I was falling in love with him and it wasn't the pace we were moving at, it was that he understood that Dean was important and that I valued his friendship and in a way he had always came first, although I knew I had to review that now that I had Joshua.

"Where do you want to go tomorrow in that limo of yours?" I asked Joshua.

"Oh I don't know, I will tell James to just drive even if we end up in another state. Clearly instructing him to keep the radio playing loudly and not lowering the divider window not even if the world outside comes to an end."

"Guys I am going to put Alex to bed, I can't stand the snoring anymore. Can we stay the night?" Dean asked although he knew I wouldn't let them leave in this state.

I nodded.

"Please don't disappear on me this is nice, I want to chat some more. Josh I will make it worth your while, I have some juicy stories on Katie."

He winked at me.

"No problem we will be here." Joshua answered surprised at Dean calling him on his name.

Dean always referred to him as the actor, it seemed like Dean was getting used to the idea of Joshua and I.

"Why are you so quiet?" Joshua asked me when Dean eventually got Alex up and on his way to the spare bedroom.

"I am just worried that's all," I said I didn't want to explain it but I wanted to be honest.

"What are you worried about babe?" He asked turning me so I faced him.

"I don't know why but my hormones are like a teenager's when it comes to you and I don't mind the pace we are moving to, but I am scared to wake up one day to find you bored with me or you realise I wasn't what you expected."

I looked down at my shaking hands.

He lifted my head and looked at me, he smiled then he kissed me softly.

"I won't be able to get bored of you or disappointed in what I got as you said, you still don't get it do you? I can have a wide variety of woman, on a daily basis I get thousands of love letters and some unexpected packages in the mail. But you are different; when I saw you I knew I had to do everything to have you. I lost sight of everything because compared to everything else you are amazing and to be honest I am falling in love with you.

"I am sorry if it's too soon but I have made up my mind, if you will have me I want to be part of your life forever. I don't want to wait long to make you more than my girlfriend. I also don't make decisions lightly, I never rush anything. But this feels right I could marry you in a week's time and have no doubts or regrets."

I was speechless at his words. I wanted to respond but then I heard a glass fall on the floor it broke, glass shattered everywhere.

Dean looked over at us his mouth was hanging open, he didn't even look down at the broken glass.

"Did he just propose?" Dean managed to ask.

"No man you have the wrong side of the stick again Dean. Right Joshua?" I asked as I got up to get the broom and scoop to clean the glass.

Joshua didn't answer I thought he might have nodded or something behind my back I had given him more than enough time to answer before I looked around at him.

"Not if it's not what you want right now," Joshua answered.

I fell onto the sofa my legs gave way under me.

"I don't know what to say it's only been twenty four hours," I got out.

"You stupid girl say yes, you know this is right, you don't have to get married next week right?" Dean asked Joshua.

"Of course not," Joshua answered.

"Although it's not been long, I haven't seen you this happy in ages. Besides let's get the full story out, you have been crazy about him for months and you guys have been flirting with each other from the start.

You told me one night if you could get a man like him you would marry him that same day, I never realised how ironic it would be. Do something for yourself for once," Dean said.

As usual he got straight to the point and he was right.

"Joshua was that you proposing?" I asked him again because I couldn't give him an answer on, 'not if it's not what you want right now.'

He got up and kneeled in front of me, he took my hands in his and said, "I don't have a ring, but yes I am asking you Katie Roberts will you be my wife?"

I looked at him and knew what Dean said was true.

"Yes Joshua Scott I will be your wife."

We got up at the same time. He grabbed me in his arms and kissed me, I didn't even realise that he picked me up.

"I love you," he said.

I hadn't heard those three words in such a long time.

"I love you too"

"Let's have a drink," Dean said standing ready with the bottle.

"Excuse me for a second," I said.

I walked to the bathroom. I don't know how I managed because it felt like I was walking on air.

I closed the door behind me and I leaned against the basin, I was trying to come down back to earth, I wasn't drunk anymore.

I don't know how long I had been in the bathroom when I heard a knock on the door. "Katie are you alright?' Dean asked on the other side of the door.

"Yes I am fine just freshening up I will be out in a minute," I said washing my face. "Do you want me to come in?" he asked

"No I am almost done."

"Alright I will be in the living room your drink is waiting for you. Katie he really does love you. Are you sure you are alright with your answer with all of this?"

I took the towel and dried my face. I opened the door and looked at my best friend. "Actually to be honest yes I am happy with my answer I can't believe it because I didn't have to think about it. Am I going mad?"

He smiled back at me and said, "no you are accepting the fact that you can also be happy. Come your fiancé is very nervous. When you left the room he started pacing the room and he looked like he was scared you were never coming back."

I gave him a hug, took a deep breath and walked back to the lounge.

I walked up to Joshua and I also saw the worry on his face, I put my hand on his cheek and said, "I am not going anywhere and I still love you."

He smiled and turned to the table, he handed me a shot glass. Dean took his and handed one to Joshua.

"You have been dating for twenty four hours then you got engaged without a ring and now we are toasting with tequila and not champagne. I think it's brilliant! Joshua be good to her or I will have you killed. Cheers," Dean said drinking the shot.

I smiled at Joshua.

"Well kids I have had enough excitement for one day I am going to bed," Dean said. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and said good night to Josh before going to bed.

### Chapter 15

"Do you want to go to the bedroom too?' Joshua asked.

"Yes let me lock up and put off all the lights I will meet you there," I said walking towards the door.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

"I can't stop saying it, I love you," he said.

I didn't want him to stop saying it.

"I love you and I love it when you say it."

I kissed him softly and said, "go on so long I will meet you in a couple of seconds."

He shook his head.

"No I will help you."

I nodded and walked to the door, I locked it and put the keys in the safe place I had for it, he took all the glasses to the kitchen and I switched off all the lights and the TV.

It was completely dark in the apartment. It was overcast so not even the moon shed some light. I couldn't see him, I called his name softly but still no answer I walked into the kitchen, he was leaning against the kitchen counter, it looked like he was waiting for me.

I walked towards him and stood against him I could feel his cold hands on my back he put his hands under my shirt.

I started kissing him it wasn't important anymore if we went to the room or not I just wanted him to kiss me.

He picked me up onto the counter and stood between my legs. He constantly moved his hands around over my body like he wanted to feel every inch of me. He moved his hands on my back and then he held my face in his hands. I started unbuttoning his shirt while kissing his neck and chest as I loosened each button. I realised as he was kissing me that I was moaning softly.

But suddenly I realised I am not the only one moaning, I stopped kissing him and we both looked into the darkness to figure out what was making that terrible noise, it went from moaning to almost screaming.

I looked in his eyes as he put his forehead on mine and smiled embarrassed about what we were hearing, it was Dean and Alex having sex and like it always was wild and noisy.

"I don't think we should even ask questions," he said in a whisper.

"Lets ignore them kiss me," I protested pulling him closer.

But we could only manage to ignore it for a couple of minutes, when the noises in the spare room got worst.

I stopped him and said, "I can't do this; our first time should not be like this. I am sorry, I just can't stay turned on with them going on like they are murdering each other and probably breaking my furniture in the spare room."

"I agree it should be special. Let's go to bed and try to sleep through this."

He picked me up off the counter, took my hand and led me to the room.

### Chapter 16

The next morning I woke up and thought that I had never slept that well in ages. I didn't know if it was all the excitement or was it because he was there. I could definitely get used to it.

I looked over next to me and saw that he wasn't sleeping next to me.

I sat up and tried to look into the kitchen to see if he wasn't maybe in there. Then I heard Dean's voice.

"I need to go to that décor shop on fifth before she wakes up and notices what happened in that spare room."

I rubbed my eyes and put my feet out the bed trying my best to wake up so that I didn't look like a natural disaster when he saw me.

"I think you should perhaps close the door and hope she doesn't go in there,"

I heard Joshua say.

I got up and walked to the bathroom, I decided to at least brush my teeth and hair before I showed myself and when I got into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I knew that was a good idea.

I could still hear their voices but I couldn't make out what they were talking about.

I freshened up and when I thought I looked good enough I walked out to the kitchen. I could see immediately Dean's expression, it was between being ashamed and hiding something. Joshua was sitting with his back to me on one of the bar stools at my kitchen counter.

"There she is the engaged best friend," Dean said taking out a mug for my coffee.

"Quit it Dean I don't want to know, just replace it," I said smiling at him.

"Yes absolutely you won't even know the difference," he said waving his one hand pulling his face like he was 'on it'.

"Hey my sexy girl," Joshua said as he turned around and held his arms out for me to walk into and hold him.

I walked straight into his arms and put my arms around his shoulders. I kissed him good morning but this kiss lasted longer than your average good morning kiss.

I was relieved that I brushed my teeth; morning breath is not at all attractive.

"Here is your coffee I should be on my way. You know shopping and things," Dean said pushing the mug closer to me.

I pulled away from my amazing good morning kiss and smiled at Dean.

"You could have slept in but now you have to go shop it's a pity. Where is Alex this morning? Or did he do the walk of shame before the sun came up?" I asked.

Dean looked at his watch pretending too be in too much of a hurry to stay and chat. "He left early yes, and I should leave now too," he said almost running out the kitchen. I didn't even bother with trying to call him back. I didn't want a fight before coffee. Besides I did say I didn't want to know.

I took the mug and drank the coffee as if my life depended on it. I loved coffee in the morning, although allot of people did, its just it reminded me of a new day. It gave me hope for what's to come.

I always got a take away coffee on my way to set but there was nothing like a fresh cup at home.

"Do you like it?" Joshua asked smiling at the face I was pulling of pure delight.

"Yes it's really good, do you want some?" I asked.

Under normal circumstances I would never share my coffee.

"No thank you, I am glad you like it. Because I made it," Joshua said looking proud.

I looked into the mug at the remaining coffee I couldn't believe it he could only boil water how did he manage.

He smiled again at my frown.

"I actually wanted to make you coffee and bring it to bed, but then Dean heard me and he came out. He was scared it was you but when he saw me he was relieved. He wanted to find out how angry you were before he actually spoke to you," he explained.

It still didn't answer the question in my head.

"How did you get it right?" I asked.

"I watched you do it last night," he answered.

"It's really good. That explains why I woke up in an empty bed. I thought it was my snoring that got you out," I joked.

"Not at all your snoring isn't that bad," he said playfully.

"Not that bad, you should have asked 'what snoring'?"

He laughed, shaking his head.

"I love everything about you even your snoring. About last night, no regrets?

You didn't have a change of heart?" He asked.

He had that anxious look on his face again.

I ran my fingers through his thick brown hair.

"I have only one regret, but no I haven't had a change of heart I still love you. Maybe not as much as last night now that you commented on my snoring."

He laughed and then he frowned.

"What was the one regret?"

"Last night in the kitchen, it would have been nice to have seen how that would have played out."

I felt the blood rush to my face when I said that, I had a bad habit of biting my lip when I get nervous or shy.

"Me too," he said putting his finger on my bottom lip.

"But the hours of kissing in bed was nice, don't you think?" He asked

"I love it when you kiss me," I answered leaning forward to kiss him again.

"My agent is coming here in an hour; he needs to talk to me about a magazine that wants to do an interview with us," he said as the kiss ended.

"What interview, are they going to interview you and Jack?" I asked.

"It's an interview about me and you. Everyone knows about us now and Taylor did a press release last night so now they want my side of the story," he answered looking nervous at what my reaction would be to what he was telling me.

"What are we going to say? Do I need to do the interview? What did she say?" I asked with total shock, a million thoughts were running through my mind.

"Try to stay calm, Jack will provide all the details. I will try my best to keep you out of the cold claws of the press. But you must know that Taylor basically tried to kill my career and possibly committed career suicide last night. She said that we were never an item and because she was a great actress and I was still a struggling actor, she took me under her wing and helped me out. She explained that she made me and I just threw it back in her face. The thing is people like me and my acting ability, but she was seen as my girlfriend and the fans are angry as hell.

"She made a mistake in a sense that could cost her a couple of fans, I watched some blog's on the internet and the people feel she thinks too highly of herself. People are saying they thought she was this cute girl next door, now they think she is a self obsessed scorned woman."

I looked at him, I couldn't believe it. Here I was happy in a good place and just like that I was back to reality.

"The engagement is going to make things worst," I said softly.

"Jack says that it can either make things worst or it can actually blow all the negative publicity away," he answered.

He saw the worry in my eyes; I pulled away from him and walked towards the window.

I looked out to see how many reporters were still outside.

"Obviously everyone knows of you staying the night?" I asked knowing the answer. "Yes," he answered softly.

"Maybe we should move back a few steps, I will not be responsible for your career taking a knock, this was a huge mistake. How could I have been so stupid to even believe..." I said.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

"What are you saying? Do you want to break up?" He asked softly clearly he didn't want to hear the answer.

I didn't want to break up with him but I wanted off the rollercoaster, all I could think of was the fact that it would never end.

The press outside my house, the people talking about me when I couldn't even defend myself.

I was back to reality and the reality was actors don't date or get engaged to the little people they date their own kind, people who could handle the pressure of being under the microscope all the time.

"I don't know...Yes," I said softly.

I held my face in my hands. I didn't want him to see me crying it would just have confused him even more.

"I don't understand an hour ago you loved me now you don't?" He asked.

I heard his voice change.

"I just can't handle the pressure; I can't be watched and judged all the time. I do love you and the last couple of days were great but I cant I am sorry."

I turned to look at him.

He smiled at me but I could see I just broke his heart, he nodded he wasn't going to discuss this any further.

He got up and walked towards me, I pushed him away.

"Good bye then Katie," he said.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

I just stood there watching him leave.

### Chapter 17

I fell down on the sofa, buried my face in a pillow and cried my heart out. I don't know how long I laid there crying because I fell asleep.

I woke up when my front door slammed shut; it was Dean holding a new bedside table lamp.

After waking up there was a split second where I was alright and then reality set in again.

I started crying again.

Dean put everything down that was in his hands and ran over to me.

"What is wrong girl? Why are you crying? Did that actor upset you?" He asked holding me in his arms.

"Dean I broke up with him," I said in-between sobs.

"Why? What did he do?"

I held on to him for a while crying and then I told him the whole story.

After I told him he sat there looking out in front of him. He was a logical person and to him it probably did not make sense.

He gave a sigh and then he turned to me.

"I understand," that was all he said.

I could see on his face that he was just being kind and that he didn't understand.

"I am going to make you something to drink, and I will put the radio on loud. I will stay with you today. I can run my office from my Blackberry."

He gave me a big hug and kissed me on my forehead.

He got up, he put the radio on and walked to the kitchen.

I just laid on the sofa, holding the pillow and listened to the song playing on the radio.

I closed my eyes for what I thought was only a minute, when I opened them I saw he had put a cup of camomile tea on the coffee table for me. I didn't feel like drinking it. I heard him changing the CD's every now and then.

My phone kept on ringing constantly but I didn't want to answer it.

Finally he said, "I am going to answer it now, it might be your mother."

"Hello......... She's not available... What channel alright I will make sure she watches it."

"Katie that was Jack he says Joshua is having a press conference to clear the air after Taylor had hers yesterday and he thinks you should watch it. It is on channel 6.

I sat up and took the remote. I put the TV on channel 6 and waited.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw him on TV, he looked so sad and extremely stressed I had never seen that side of him. He stood on the podium with the lights of the cameras flashing, he looked down took a deep breath and started talking.

"Good afternoon everyone thank you for coming, I am Joshua Scott as you all know and I am here today to talk about some of the issues that came to light recently.

With regards to what Miss Logan's said last night I would just like to say that although I considered her a friend, I am deeply sorry that she got hurt in the process. We were never an item and yes we posed for photos together many times it was the public's assumption that we were in fact dating. I feel sorry that I had let it go on for so long.

I believe that I am an actor in my own right and that I have earned the respect of my fans, Miss Logan never got me movie rolls or did me any favours, sadly we only let the lie continue because it meant that we would stay in the spot light, I am ashamed of that.

"With regards to Miss Roberts, yes we were in a relationship it saddens me to say that she broke off our engagement this morning. We will still remain colleges because I am still working on the movie with her. I love her dearly and I wish that things had worked out differently-" he paused smiling a sad smile, he took another deep breath and continued.

"But unfortunately she felt that our relationship would ruin my career. She feared that my fans would be too disappointed at the fact that Miss Logan and I were not dating and that would damage my reputation.

Miss Roberts was and is the best part of me. She allowed me into her world and I enjoyed every moment of it, she is kind and understanding. But at the same time she is cautious and protective over the people she cares about.

"My world on the other hand is cruel and I was a stupid man to have expected her to be part of it. To everyone I am the guy in the movie, the character. To her I was someone I was Joshua Scott. Katie, if you are watching this; I love you pretty girl and I am very sorry. Thank you again to everyone that came."

He walked off the podium the cameras were still flashing.

Dean put the TV softer and looked at me. By then my face was blood red, I had cried so much that I had a head ache.

"Wow Katie what are you thinking?" Dean asked.

"I am thinking that he just made an enemy of Taylor Logan. I also think that I messed up, but I can't be his girlfriend I will drag him down. He will get over the pain and he will meet an actress and then he will forget the way he felt today," I said.

"Well if you want to know what I am thinking... I am thinking that yes you are right he did create tension between him and Taylor. But at least he was honest. Also I think you are right you did mess up.

Here is the part I disagree on, if you even heard a single word that man said in front of all those reporters and the thousands of people who just watched that on TV, you would realise that he is completely broken and that you were the one thing in his life that made him feel like a person and not a thing people fantasised about. You broke his heart and your own for what? Because Katie Roberts cant take a little pressure?" Dean almost sounded angry.

"A little pressure? Dean you know how bad it was the last couple of days, with the press," I defended myself.

"Yes it was difficult but I can remember clearly how easy it was too. You two couldn't keep your hands off each other. And better yet do you think for one second it was easy for him? He fell in love with you and all you did was worry about what everyone else was thinking.

"Katie the man asked you to marry him last night, there were no cameras it was just us, and what did you do? You ran to the bathroom. Same with when he asked you to be his girlfriend you said yes but everyone including him heard the doubt in your voice. In both cases you weren't judging the way you felt about him, it was about 'What would everyone else say?'

"If your relationship hurt his career he was willing to take the chance. Believe me he considered that but still he proposed."

I was speechless Dean was right.

"Its over anyways there is no point... he has already told the press its over," I said. "No point? You broke his heart you owe him more than, 'There is no point.'

So what if he told the world it's over, tomorrow he can have an interview with a magazine and say its back on again. If you don't want him say so, don't tell me there is no point.

"You said to him you don't want to be in an article a week after you announced your relationship stating that you broke up. You made him promise that he wouldn't let that happen, funny thing is you broke that promise, you did that to yourself."

Dean shook his head.

I didn't understand where his anger came from, was he my friend or Josh's?

Why was he so angry with me?

"What do you want me to say Dean? And why are you so angry with me?" I shouted at him.

"I am not angry with you, I want you to realise your mistake before it's too late. I want you to phone him or to go over to his hotel room; I want you to talk to him," Dean said moving closer to me on the sofa.

"I messed up badly and I don't know how to fix it," I admitted.

"Go shower, wash your hair, put on some make up and a pretty dress. I will go with you," he said smiling.

### Chapter 18

I got myself off the sofa and followed his advice.

As I put my make up on I said to myself, 'dress up for the paparazzi.'

I did my make up perfect and I put on my nicest dress. It could be possible to live in his world, I just need to change my mind set.

I was dressed up and ready to go, Dean was sitting on the chair with my car keys in his hand.

"I hope she will start," he said showing me the keys.

"Don't pretend I know you used her this morning," I said.

He just blushed he didn't even deny it.

I got out the door when I saw two body guards standing in front of my door.

"Why are you still here? He left this morning?" I asked the one.

"Mr Scott sent us over here before the press conference; he gave us instruction to follow you if you should go out. He was scared someone would want to hurt you after what was said at the press conference."

I looked at Dean and thought I was scared of the press, now I have to be scared of angry fans as well.

"Very well you can follow me to Mr Scott's hotel room," I said walking past them. "Miss Roberts you are going to have to drive with us. We can't take chances.

Should we let Mr Scott know you are on your way?" the one asked.

"No please don't."

"Alright follow us."

They led us through a back corridor of my apartment building.

I didn't even know it excited. But it wasn't secret enough there were a couple of reporters standing outside waiting for me to show my face in public.

"Miss Roberts, care to comment?" one asked as I passed him.

I looked into the man's eyes and realised I could make his day with a comment; it could possibly mean a big pay check for him and his family. I realised they were not the enemy I could use them to my advantage and both parties score.

"Yes I have a comment. I am on my way to see Mr Scott after the press conference today, I realised I loved him too much to let him go. I am going to see if he will still have me," I said as I walking away from the reporter.

"What if he doesn't want you back?" He asked.

"Then I only have myself to blame," I answered.

I got into the black car and looked out the window as we drove to the hotel.

Dean took my hand in his and squeezed it.

Still holding Dean's hand I climbed into the elevator and pushed the button to the top floor. He turned to me when the doors closed.

"I am not going in with you, I will go back down when you get out. I will wait for you in the bar down stairs. Doesn't matter what happens, I will wait till I hear from you."

I nodded smiling nervously.

The doors opened and I got out, I looked back at him when the doors closed.

I waited till the elevator doors closed completely before I took a deep breath and walked towards the big double white doors of the hotel room.

I knocked softly just hard enough for him to hear me, but when the door swung open I was surprised to see Jack standing there.

"Is he here?" I asked unsure.

Jack recognised me immediately although we had never met. I heard Joshua's voice from inside.

"Who ever is it Jack. Just tell them to bugger off."

Jack smiled and opened the door wider.

"I don't think you really want me to tell her that," Jack said as I walked in.

He was lying on the couch with a beer bottle in his one hand, he couldn't see me but I saw him.

"Joshua," I said softly.

He got up and pulled his clothes straight.

I could see he had been drinking.

"Hi," he said putting the bottle on the coffee table. "Why are you here?"

He wasn't angry he just looked so tired and sad.

"I saw you on TV," I started.

"Oh yes that," he said.

I sensed that it was going to be a bit harder than I thought. I looked at Jack still standing in the door, he nodded at me almost understanding what I wanted to say.

"I will be in the bar downstairs," he said as he reached for his coat.

"Katie please..." he started.

"I won't," I said.

He smiled and closed the door behind him. I looked back at Joshua he was still looking at me.

I looked down at the floor and asked, "are you angry at me?"

I bit my lip again. I was incredibly nervous.

"No I am not," he said softly.

"I am sorry Joshua."

He smiled and looked away shaking his head.

"Yes so am I."

I realised he wasn't going to talk to me.

"Okay then I will leave."

I turned around and felt my eyes well up again. I walked towards the door and put my hand on the handle to open it when I felt his hand on my arm.

"Wait," he said softly from behind me.

I stood there facing the door the tears ran down my cheeks.

"Do you still love me?" He asked.

"Yes that's why I am here; I wanted to ask you if you would still have me," I said.

He turned me around and held my face in his hands again.

"That Katie is a stupid question. Of course I will have you. It was the worst day of my life. I thought I had lost you," he said before kissing me.

I was back, back in his strong arms.

He stopped kissing me and put his forehead on mine. He just stood there looking at me, he didn't say a word.

"I see you had a drink or two," I said looking over at the coffee table.

There were a couple of empty bottles on the table.

"Yes I just wanted to get away from myself for a while," he said turning my face back to his.

"What do you want for us? What do you want me to do? I don't want to ever feel the way I felt today so you are going to have to tell me what you want?" He asked.

I realised that, that speech of Dean's earlier was true and that I did break his heart.

"I want you, the rest we can work out as we go along. I want to rewind back to last night in bed when we kissed for hours and to when the world didn't matter."

He took my hand and started leading me to his bedroom.

"Wait I need to phone Dean, he is waiting for me downstairs," I said stopping him. He nodded; I grabbed my phone out my coat pocket and dialled Dean's number. "Hi... I am okay, you can go home... I will phone you later.... Bye."

I put the phone down and saw him texting from his phone.

He put his phone down on the table and led me into the bedroom. I was standing against the side of the bed. He took off my coat, he took me into his arms and kissed me like the night before. He softly and slowly pushed me on to the bed.

He was a bit tipsy but that didn't bother me, it was the same the night before only then I was tipsy too. It made for interesting kissing, he was more aggressive but in a good sexy way.

When the kissing stopped, we laid next to each other. I looked at him and saw the sad look was gone but he still looked tired.

"What are you thinking?" he asked in a whisper rubbing my hair.

"I am thinking that you are looking tired," I answered in a whisper.

"I am very."

I gave him a kiss and sat up.

"I must go home, and then you can rest. The two hours sleep last night and the drama today made you this tired," I said.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back on top of him.

"Stay please," he said softly.

"Okay, I am just going to text Dean to get me some clean clothes."

He smiled his naughty smile.

"What? Why are you smiling like that?" I asked

"Its just you don't need clean clothes." I put my head on his chest.

"You have to sleep. I will sleep here with you."

Its not that I didn't want what he was suggesting, I just needed him to rest.

It was dark outside already, I looked at the watch it was twelve o clock at night. Time flew I didn't realize it was that late. I realized I wasn't going to be able to phone Dean at this hour. So I got up and zipped down the zip of my dress.

I luckily had sexy lingerie on.

There was no light in the hotel room, we never switched on any lights but the moon shined in and I could see him watching me.

I opened the covers and got in to the bed.

He took off his t- shirt and pants he was only wearing his boxer shorts.

I moved closer to him, and laid with my head on his chest.

"I don't even have something to sleep in," I said smiling.

I could feel him trace my back with his fingers.

"Oh small miracles," he said.

I could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

"You know that I can't sleep knowing you are lying next to me wearing this," he said pulling on the side hip strap of my panties.

"I can go sleep on the couch," I suggested.

"Or I could just take it off," he suggested.

"Sleep," I said hitting him playfully on the chest.

He didn't take long to fall asleep. I too closed my eyes and drifted off.

### Chapter 19

The next morning I felt his finger moving from my cheek down my neck onto my chest. I felt him lifting the covers.

"What are you looking at?" I asked with my eyes still closed.

"Morning, I was just admiring your hmm outfit," he said.

I opened my eyes and said, "do you like it?"

"Very much I didn't realise last night how sexy you looked because if I did, we would again have only two hours of sleep."

"Are you feeling rested?" I asked.

He frowned at my sudden change of subject.

"Yes I am. Why do you ask?"

I smiled and climbed on top of him.

"Well then I can tell you now that I especially put on 'this outfit' as you call it, as my special weapon if you didn't want to take me back," I explained.

"Miss Roberts were you going to seduce me last night?" He asked pulling up his eye brows he had a hint of a smile on his face.

"Yes I wanted to but then I saw how tired you were. So I decided to not do it after all. But now that you are rested..." I said kissing him in-between words.

He stopped me and asked, "are you ready for this? Is this what you want?"

He was serious.

My heart started racing.

"Make love to me Joshua," I said softly.

He moved us so he was on top of me, he kissed me passionately.

I loved it; there was no one to spoil the mood. It was just us.

He kissed my neck and my chest. He pulled my one leg up against his side rubbing the back of it. I could feel him pulling my body closer to him.

He kissed my hand and moved up slowly up my arm, into my neck and back to my mouth. I felt so safe in his arms. I didn't feel shy about him seeing my body. I wasn't badly built but morning sex, in day the light wouldn't have been my first choice.

I laid there on his chest. I was wondering what he was thinking. It was very out of character for me to sleep with a guy so early in the relationship and I was unsure of what he was thinking.

I listened to his heart beating against my ear. It made me feel so peaceful, I assumed by the way he was breathing that he wasn't awake.

I wondered if I should look up at him.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him; I tried not to make sudden movements.

His eyes were closed and he looked relaxed.

I looked down at the blankets lying on top of us and tried to figure out what blanket I can take off to wrap around me so he wouldn't wake up.

I took the top blanket and wrapped it around me ever so carefully not to make the bed move.

I got out of bed and started walking towards my coat lying on the floor. I wanted to get my cell phone out it had been ringing non stop earlier.

"Where are you sneaking off to?" He asked.

I realised he was awake the entire time I had battled to get out of bed without 'waking' him.

I stopped in my tracks, almost like a child that believed if she closed her eyes then she would be invisible.

"I was just going to get my phone," I said still with my back towards him.

"You should really work on your exit strategy," he said laughing.

I looked at him over my shoulder, and smiled.

"I wasn't going to go anywhere; my phone has been ringing all morning," I tried to explain.

"Sure," he said patting on the bed for me to come back.

I ran back and jumped on the bed, he was sitting. I got onto his lap placing my legs on either side of him.

"I adore you," he said.

He tucked the hair in my face behind my ears.

"I feel awkward," I said looking down at his chest.

"Why, was it that bad?" He asked smiling.

"No it wasn't it was great, it's just weird that's all."

He frowned his smile disappearing somewhat.

"I don't know how to explain it... okay let me try. I haven't had sex in over three years. I never enjoyed sex to be honest and then doing it in daylight with a guy who I barely knew. It's just so out of character for me."

He put his fingers under my chin and pushed my face back up so I could look him in the eyes.

"I loved every second of it, the way your body moves the way you moan. It was special to me and just because you haven't done it in a long time doesn't mean that it wasn't great. I don't care that we haven't known each other that long. I love you and I am going to spend every second of my life with you.

How can you say you have never enjoyed sex? Didn't you enjoy it now?" He asked.

I looked at him, I didn't know how to explain it because for so long, I had felt like the only person in the world that thought of sex as a chore.

"No that's the best part, you and me it felt fantastic but in the past... Sometimes I would lay there and just think 'Ah just get it over with.'

I use to plan dinner parties or my calendar for the next day in my head while Tommy was well, doing it.

I have never asked anyone to make love to me and I always thought of sex as a chore. I would have rather watched TV or work on my book than do it. I know it seems crazy but that is how I felt about sex." I bit my lip.

He smiled at that because by then he knew that when I bit my lip it was a dead give away that I was either nervous or shy.

"How do you feel about it now? Wait before you answer I don't want you to say something because you want me to be okay. I want to know if it was what you wanted."

I kissed him softly.

"I really did love it and I am honest with you. Maybe it was something you did differently because when I asked you to make love to me I felt like I really wanted you to. Like that night in the kitchen at my place, nothing else mattered I just wanted to feel you close to me. I wanted to feel your hands on me."

I looked down again, what I told him was so personal and while I was saying the words aloud I thought 'no stop.'

"I adore you," he said again.

"I adore you too," I answered.

I looked at him and thought how could I have gotten so lucky?

I felt his hands move on my back, the blanket was still covering the front of my body my back was totally open.

I felt the gooseflesh all over my body. I ran my hand over his muscled arms and onto the back of his neck.

We didn't kiss or talk we just shared an intimate moment.

He pulled me closer and started kissing my cheek and moved down to my neck.

I closed my eyes and faced up towards the ceiling.

I felt his lips on my neck; he moved his hands through my hair.

I clutched the blanket close to my chest I didn't want to expose my chest. Even though I knew he had seen every inch of my body already.

He took my hand that was holding the blanket to my chest and put it on his chest. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"You don't have to do that." he said in a whisper.

"I..." I tried to say.

He held me against him as he kissed me. I could feel my naked chest against his.

"Are you hungry?"

I was.

"Yes I am, I can't remember the last time I ate."

Then my phone started ringing again.

"You should get that because I think by now Dean is on his way over here.

I covered myself with the blanket again and got up to answer the phone.

"Hallo."

It was Dean on the other side in a panic.

"You didn't phone, where are you?" He asked concerned.

"I am still at Joshua's, why are you so worried?" I asked looking back at Josh.

"I thought you would have been home by now," Dean said.

"I kind of spend the night," I said a bit irritated.

"Oh tell me you patched things up and that you are engaged again. We should get you registered ASAP. Wait did you have sex? You did didn't you? I can hear it."

I turned away from Joshua and walked towards the window, I held my hand over the phone.

"I don't know if we are engaged again. And as for the other questions, I am not saying a word he can hear me and it's personal."

I heard Joshua laughing softly clearly he heard.

"I knew it," Dean said giggling with delight.

"Look I have to go."

I knew he was going to nag me for more information and I wasn't going to give it to him.

"No wait..." he still said when I put the phone down.

"Sorry about that, he just doesn't have any boundaries sometimes," I said looking down at the phone.

"It's fine, I understand your friendship. About the first question he asked you. Do you want to be engaged?"

I turned to face him again. I walked slowly towards him and got onto the bed.

"I want to be your wife," I said softly.

"When do you want to make it official?" He asked challenging me.

"Today, tomorrow I don't care," I said smiling.

His face went serious.

"Really or are you just making a joke?" He asked.

"No, not at all."

"Vegas?" He asked.

"Yes, when?"

While I was taking chances and considering myself first, why not? I thought.

"We only have tomorrow off from filming so-" he started when both our phones rang.

He looked at the screen of his phone.

"It's my agent I should get it," he said before answering the phone.

I saw it was the producer of my movie phoning me so I answered.

Both calls were about the movie. They let us know that the filming would be delayed by another couple of days due to two of the leading actors getting sick unexpectedly. We would resume filming the following Thursday. It was Wednesday. I said that, that was fine and I would be there on Thursday morning.

"I presume you heard," Joshua said as he put the phone down.

"Yes a short holiday."

He nodded.

I snuggled up to him, I wanted him to finish what he was saying before the phone rang.

"As you were saying," I said rubbing my finger over his cheek.

"You are sure about this Katie?"

"I am, so tell me when?"

"Tonight?"

I pulled his wrist to my face and looked at his watch.

"Its already 4 o clock, how are we going to get a flight to Vegas on such short notice? Also should you not speak to Jack, he is going to freak out if you don't speak to him about it?" I asked.

"Firstly I have a private plane. Secondly I have told him just now on the phone we are going to get married probably in the next couple of hours in Vegas and he said he only had one request and that was to come with. You see Jack is not only my agent he is my best friend. He was here with me when I thought I had lost you and he made sure I wasn't going to drown myself in alcohol. So if this is what you want, I can phone him up and he can make all the arrangements."

"Phone him I will phone Dean because he has to go with, he will never forgive me if I didn't include him, he was going on about registering us for wedding gifts. He is going to be very disappointed that he can't do that anymore."

I laughed rolling my eyes.

"But he can still do that when we get back. We can have a big wedding with everything your heart desires."

I gave him a quick kiss and made a noise of delight then I grabbed my phone and phoned Dean.

"Vegas! Are you insane?" Dean asked shocked.

"No I am not are you coming with?" I asked

"Yes I will pack and meet you, wait where are you? Where should I meet you?" He asked.

"I am going to get dressed now and then I am going over to my apartment to grab a bag, you can meet me there," I said.

We said goodbye and I put the phone down.

"I am going to my apartment and then you can come pick me up there, will that be okay?" I asked.

"Yes I will meet you there, Warren will drive you. I have to go make a couple of stops before we can leave for Vegas," he said looking pleased.

"How are we going to do this? I don't even know what kind of ring to get you, do you like yellow or white gold? Platinum? I don't have a dress."

I started panicking, I held me forehead in my hands still clutching the phone in my one hand.

"Calm down sweetheart, I will get the rings. You just go home meet Dean and go get yourself a dress. I don't care if you get married in denim. I will come pick you up at seven," he said pulling my hands away from my face.

"Okay then."

I grabbed my dress and searched for my underwear. I got dressed quickly.

I put on my shoes and tied my hair up in a ponytail at the back of my head. I gave him a quick kiss at the front door and left with Warren.

"Can you stop here for a second?" I asked Warren when we drove past a small boutique on our way to my apartment.

I knew the owner; I had bought all my dresses there for any important dinners or meetings.

Warren pulled into a parking in front of the boutique. I was about to open the door myself when he said, "I will get that for you, it seems we have company."

He pointed to a reporter that parked behind us.

"Miss Roberts its better to say no comment, especially with what you and Mr Scott are planning for tonight."

I couldn't believe he knew.

"Wow Warren nothing gets past you."

I smiled at him.

"I am a good body guard, but no seriously Mr Scott might have mentioned something to me," He said smiling, but somehow his face was serious.

I waited for him to open the door for me and like clock work the reporter was by the door before I could get out.

"Miss Roberts I see you are wearing the same clothes as you did last night, I also noticed that you never left Mr Scott's hotel room last night? Did he take you back?" The man kept on asking me questions till I got into the boutique.

Warren warned me before I got out the car, that I should try and get out the boutique as soon as I could because he explained the paparazzi are like sea gulls as soon as one gets a whiff the rest are sure to follow.

"Hi Cathy," I said when I got into the shop.

"Katie, it's so good to see you."

Luckily there was no one else in the shop so she locked the door and closed the blinds.

"What can I do for you? We got in new lingerie; it's very sexy if you want to wear it for that someone special," she hinted winking at me.

"Yes I need some of that and also I need a dress I can get married in."

I saw the colour drain from Cathy's face.

"Joshua Scott? You are getting married to Joshua Scott?" She managed to get out. "Yes tonight in Vegas. Please Cathy don't tell a soul," I begged.

"I won't tell anyone I promise. Can I make a confession though?" She asked.

"Sure," I said not knowing what was coming.

"I saw him in that movie; the one where he was the guy that fell in love with the girl that died of cancer and I just fell in love with him. When I saw you guys were dating I was so happy. I watched him on TV last night, I cried!

When Bernard is an idiot, I always fantasize about Joshua. I am sorry that's weird?"

I just laughed at her.

I knew that my husband was the object of some people's fantasies. Cathy was just being honest.

"I bet he is a stallion in bed," she said trying to get information.

"Cathy now you are being weird," I said trying to get her off the subject of having sex with my fiancé.

She helped me get a dress; it was a long flowing champagne colour satin dress. It had details of crystal beading on the chest and it was strapless. It was perfect.

The underwear she suggested was a bit slutty but I managed to find something I thought was at least sexy.

I paid for everything and was about to get out of the store when she said, "promise me one thing, if there are photos in the press and someone asks you about the dress tell them I made it."

"That Cathy goes without saying."

I turned around and hugged her.

### Chapter 20

It was a battle to get to the car. Warren put his arm around me and led me to the car. Everywhere I looked I saw cameras flash. There must have been a hundred of them waiting for me to come out.

I managed to get in the car and gave a big sigh of relief.

Somehow, somewhere I hurt my arm trying to get trough the crowd, it felt numb.

I moved it around to see if it was still in working condition.

"Everything alright back there?" Warren asked looking at me in the rear view mirror.

"Yes I just hurt my arm that's all," I said.

We drove in silence to my apartment.

I started feeling nervous my leg was jumping I couldn't sit still. He asked me if I am okay twice, I just said I am fine and left it at that but he wasn't convinced.

"Mr Scott asked me to stay outside your door till he got here. I can take the bags up for you?" He asked when I got out of the car.

There weren't any reporters that we could see. I noticed my apartment windows were open so I assumed that Dean was already there. He had a key to my place.

"That's fine thank you Warren, I will manage."

I walked up the stairs carrying all the bags from the boutique and my hand bag. I decided to take off my shoes, climbing a couple of flights of stairs with my stilettos on wasn't a laughing matter.

I was still coming up the last flight of stairs when Dean flung open the door.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," he said taking the bags from me.

I was about to tell him everything when my phone rang. I saw it was Joshua's number so I picked up immediately.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yes I just got home why?" I asked confused.

"Warren phoned me to tell me you were safe as I instructed him to, but he told me you hurt your arm."

I rolled my eyes, he was worried about nothing. I shouldn't have made such a big deal about it. Warren probably decided it would be best to tell Josh everything so he wouldn't be in trouble later.

"I am fine I think I bashed it against someone or maybe against the car when I got in. Its nothing, it's good as new," I said waving my arm around.

Dean just looked at me frowning he didn't understand why I was swaying my arm around.

"I could kill them for harassing you like that; they aren't supposed to hurt you. Is that the new way they get their scoop by hurting people."

He was angry.

"Calm down I am fine besides I think I hurt myself I am not the most coordinated person you know. Don't worry please. You need to go get me my special ring I will see you later."

I tried to change the subject. I heard him calm down and it sounded like he was smiling when he said goodbye.

"What happened why is he upset?' Dean asked as he took my arm in his hands and inspected it.

I pulled away because he pushed on a place that was very sensitive.

"Its nothing I bashed it and now he is upset because he thinks it's because the reporters blocked me outside the boutique," I explained.

I walked towards the bags and saw that he had already packed out all the stuff. "Thank you for that. There were private things in there," I said irritated.

"I know I saw, wow girl that is in one word hot, in capital letters," he said pouting. "Thank you but I would have preferred if the first man to see it was Joshua."

He shook his head and said, "so I presume you aren't going to put it on for me."

He looked at my expression and started laughing.

"I am just kidding don't have a stroke!"

He couldn't stop laughing it probably looked like I was about to have a stroke.

"You should wear your hair in soft curls," he said loosening my hair.

"It will fit that stunning dress you got; it's just disappointing that it's not a Vera Wang or something."

I just shook my head.

"The dress was made by Cathy."  
He snuffed.

"Cathy who?" He asked sarcastically.

"Cathy our friend. There isn't time for curls, we will just have to wash it and brush it," I said.

"You are marrying an A list celebrity and you want to wear a dress by 'our friend' Cathy with washed and combed only hair. You are acting like a cave woman! It's bad enough there isn't going to be a big celebrity wedding where I could network, now you want to..."

He didn't finish the sentence he was so disgusted.

"Joshua and I are having a big wedding; as soon as we get back you can start planning it. Okay we can do curls if that is what you want."

I gave in.

He smiled at the idea of planning my big wedding and he looked pleased that I saw things his way.

"We know that your hair falls flat so, we are going to put the curlers in on the plane. That way I can have some conversation on the way there, without you and him sucking face the whole time."

I just smiled.

"So are we putting on the dress now? Or are we getting ready there?" He asked.

"We are getting ready there. I am going to take a shower so long," I said walking out the room.

I just got into the shower and closed my eyes relaxing while the hot water ran over my body when Dean stormed in, I got such a fright I almost slipped.

"I am not looking promise. I have my back to you. Joshua is on the phone I answered because you were in the shower. He says I can bring Alex if I want to and if it's okay with you?" He asked.

"Dean I don't know it's up to you. I don't mind," I answered, I just wanted to get him out the bathroom.

"She says its okay, thanks Joshua," He said before turning around by accident.

I was still screaming at him to get out.

When I heard him scream like a girl, "O my eyes naked girl in shower, oh by the way the palates are paying off."

He got out just in time, I threw a bottle of shampoo at him. I could hear him laughing. He was still on the phone with Joshua but I couldn't hear what he was saying, not only because of the water running but also because he was whispering.

I got out of the shower, put on a robe and a towel over my hair.

"Feeling refreshed?" He asked when I walked out into the bedroom.

"Besides for you stalking me, it was nice thank you," I said smiling at him.

"Girl there aint nothing there for me," he said waving his hand.

He had put out my dress on the bed and he chose a pair of shoes for me. I was happy with his choice. He always picked out my outfits when I had an important event I needed to attend.

I decided for the trip I would put on a pair of jeans with a flattering shirt and my stiletto boots.

I was busy blowing out my hair when the doorbell rang. Dean jumped up and ran to the door. I heard Alex's voice and put the blow-dryer back on.

They both came back into the room, Alex came over to me and game me a hug and kiss.

"Congrats Kitten," he said.

He always called me Kitten, I didn't mind it.

"Thank you Alex," I said smiling like a kitten that got cream.

They helped me pack, while I put on the basic make up. I decided I would perfect it later.

The music got louder, it was my favourite song. I sang to the song and did some of the moves from the music video, while standing at the kitchen counter eating a hot cross bun I found in the fridge. Luckily I bought it only two days before so it was still okay. I was so hungry I didn't even taste it.

"Oh girl you have moves," Alex said as I danced to the tune, singing my heart out.

I did love dancing and I was fairly good at it.

"You know she pole dances, she has a portable one. Its fun and great stress relief," Dean commented.

They encouraged the dancing and even joined in.

The music was so loud we didn't even hear someone was knocking on the door. Joshua opened the door he stood there watching us. He didn't even try to get our attention, he didn't make a sound.

When I opened my eyes I saw him standing against the door frame smiling.

The other two were still dancing. I turned down the music immediately and smiled at him embarrassed.

"We are definitely going to put up that stripper pole of yours," he said clapping his hands.

"How long have you been standing there?" Alex asked.

"Only a couple of minutes, don't worry," he answered.

"Is it time?" I asked

"We have a couple of minutes left if you need to do some last minute packing," he said looking at his watch.

"No she is packed, let's go," Dean said grabbing our bags.

We just laughed at his excitement. Everyone started walking towards the stairs.

I locked the door behind me realising the next time I come back I would be married. It was weird only a week ago I was single and now I was getting married.

### Chapter 21

We got down stairs and into his limo. I had been in one before but it still fascinated me.

He moved closer to me and put his hand on my leg. He whispered in my ear,

"I am sorry that we couldn't fulfil one of our fantasies in the limo today."

I felt the blood rush to my face again.

"Our fantasy; I can't believe you haven't even done it in a limo yet. You must have had sex with allot of girls in weird places before," I said in his ear.

He looked down smiled and shook his head before whispering in my ear again,

"You would be my first."

He kissed me softly in my neck I could feel the gooseflesh. He drove me crazy, he gave me butterflies.

"Okay kids no more talking in secret tell us too," Dean said trying to pour a glass of champagne.

"I don't think Joshua likes you opening bottles like it's yours," I said frowning at him. "No, no its fine enjoy. We are going to wait in the limo on the runway till the jet is ready anyways. So please help yourself," Joshua said.

Dean shot me a satisfied look.

"So what were you whispering about?" Dean asked again.

I was just about to open my mouth when Joshua said, "I was telling her that I would have liked to have sex with her in the back of my limo."

Dean looked at Joshua speechless. It was the first time ever that anyone could make Dean speechless, we had been friends for many years and I had never been able to. "Oh okay whisper away then," Dean managed to say.

I just started laughing.

"Is this about that cracker thing again?" Alex asked ignorantly.

"Something like that," I answered.

We got onto the plane. It was like I had imagined it. I always flew economy class but I always imagined how the rich and famous live, it was really nice.

Joshua disappeared into the cockpit, he explained he was just going to speak to the captain, but we were welcome to make ourselves at home.

I knew Dean was going to, he opened wine and scratched in the mini fridge. Somewhere he found chips I didn't even ask where.

Alex just sat there it looked like he didn't want to touch anything. His eyes weren't still for a second, he looked very nervous.

"Are you okay Alex?" I asked concerned.

"I am nervous; I have never been on a plane," he said looking worried.

"Its nothing, I promise. Maybe you should read or play a cards, I saw some lying on the table. It will distract you," I tried.

Joshua came back and told us that we were about to lift off, we should all sit and fasten our seat belts.

Alex was panicking so much that it sounded like he was going to start hyperventilating.

"Is he okay?" Joshua asked me.

"It's his first time he is just nervous," I explained.

Dean saw the panic in his face and took his hand. That seemed to calm Alex down a bit. It was sweet seeing Dean being so affectionate; a person forgot that beneath his outer strong sarcastic layer, he was a sweet gentle man.

I put my head on Joshua's shoulder and squeezed his hand softly when the plane lifted. I loved flying but the first few seconds I was always nervous.

He kissed me on my head and stroked my face with his other hand. When we were up in the air and we could take our seatbelts off Alex said, "I really want to do that again."

He was like a child, his face was lit up.

Dean and Alex were playing cards with Joshua. I just sat there looking out the window. I was lost in thought. I kept on thinking of how I would tell my parents about this. They would be happy, they always supported any decision I made. I just thought that they were also very cautious, like I once was. Then I thought about us standing there getting married and I couldn't help but smile.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Alex asked when he saw my smile.

"Its nothing just thinking," I said looking at them.

Joshua put the cards down.

"I am done," he said.

He turned to me and held me; I was lying with my back against his chest. In his plane the windows were behind the seats and the seats were sofas.

He whispered in my ear, "are you happy?"

I smiled and said, "absolutely."

I looked up and kissed him. He put his arms under mine and pulled me up so we were more comfortable.

I heard Dean and Alex talk about us but we didn't bother with them.

After a while I heard them laughing and enjoying themselves with the card game they were busy playing.

Dean was loosing and that never ended well so he tried cheating but Alex caught him out.

I started smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked softly.

"I was just wondering if you have had sex in this plane before?"

He laughed and threw his head back.

Dean and Alex looked up and then Dean said to Alex, "I am not even going to ask." Dean clearly remembered the last time he was over inquisitive.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked gently hitting his chest.

"Where did that question come from?" He asked, rubbing his chest where I hit him. "Don't change the subject just tell me?" I demanded sitting up, I didn't know if I still wanted the answer.

"Once but it wasn't on this plane," he answered.

I looked at Dean and Alex we clearly had their attention too. I looked back at Joshua; he was looking at me with a very unsure face.

"With an actress?" I asked, not knowing why.

"No it was a long time ago it was with a girl I picked up in a bar in New York. It was stupid and I regret it. When I became famous, girls were throwing themselves at me and I wasn't used to it. So I took advantage," he tried to explain.

I moved a couple of centimetres away from him.

"I hope you got tested," Dean said sarcastically.

"Yes I did, I used protection and I got tested I am fine," he said looking at Dean as if he was trying to let him know to mind his own business.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I said as I got up.

I didn't know why I was so upset, he was famous and he was human so why would I be angry? It was long before I was in the picture.

I looked in the mirror and told myself to pull it together and to stop acting like a child. I opened the door and walk into him.

He pushed me back into the little bathroom and locked the door behind him.

"I have had sex with five women. The first was when I was seventeen she was eighteen and it was in her room, the second was with a girl I met at a frat party it was in a swimming pool. The third was that girl in the plane. The fourth was an actress I met at a mixer it was in a coat room and the fifth was you. I used protection with all of them besides with you.

"I have had regular doctor visits and I have been tested on more than one occasion my last test was a week ago and it was fine. The last time I had sex was four months ago before last night. You are the first person I made love to that I actually did love the others were just sex. I tried to fill a void."

I felt like a dog I didn't know what to say.

"I am sorry I had no reason to act like a jealous child," I said looking down.

He pushed my chin up keeping his fingers under my chin.

He gave me a soft kiss.

"Its fine, I understand. I don't mind the jealousy I think it's cute."

I buried my face in his chest I could just die of embarrassment I really did act like a jealous girlfriend. He laughed softly.

"I love you and I can't wait for you to be my wife. Can I get a kiss please?" He asked.

I looked up and kissed him.

"Want to have sex on a plane with me?"

"Dean and Alex are standing outside the door."

He turned and knocked once and then there was a knock from the other side.

"That's too bad," I said kissing him again.

He sighed and said out loud so they could hear, "don't worry I am booking them on a separate flight back home."

I laughed; I could just imagine them protesting that decision.

He unlocked the door and we heard them running back to their chairs.

"Wait how did you know they were there?" I asked

"Whispers," he said rolling his eyes.

We walked out and I shot them a dirty look.

"Are we okay?" Alex asked innocently

"We are just fine," Joshua answered as he sat down on the chair. He pulled me onto his lap.

"We should start with your hair," Dean said taking the curlers out of my bag. "Alright then," I said holding onto Josh.

By the time we got to Vegas my hair was done.

We were all looking out the windows at all the Vegas lights. It was amazing, I had always imagined how it would look but it wasn't at all what I imagined.

Dean and Alex were so excited they pointed at all the hotels they saw in movies before.

"Have you been to Vegas before?" Joshua asked me.

"No it's my first time, have you?" I asked.

"Are you kidding it's a bachelors' playpen," he answered quoi.

He saw my face and said immediately, "I am joking, I have been here twice, I brought my brother in law here for his bachelor party and then again with Taylor. We presented a New Years Eve party here one year."

"Have you been to any of the strip clubs?" Alex asked clearly not thinking of me sitting there.

"Yes," he said but he saved it with a kiss on my cheek.

"It wasn't that nice; it was actually not nice at all," he said.

"Did you have a lap dance?" Alex asked still looking out at the lights.

I heard Dean slap him on the back.

"What? I just wanted to know," he said irritated with Dean.

"Well did you?" He asked again.

"Yes," Josh said with a sigh.

I felt disgusted and sorry for him at the same time.

He was being grilled and it was from people he hardly knew.

He was an attractive bachelor and he did say he was in Vegas for a bachelor party before. Besides he had money and the girls were crazy about him.

"How much does it cost?" Alex kept on asking.

"Mine was free," Josh said under his breath.

I shot Alex a dirty look when he looked at Joshua. He just looked at me and continued.

"Wow it must be great to have woman ripping their clothes off and giving you free lap dances. I am gay but still I am a man its must be so exciting," he said.

Both Dean and I were upset already. I couldn't let this conversation continue.

"Where is Jack?" I asked quickly before Alex could say any thing else.

"He is meeting us at the hotel," Josh answered almost relieved at me changing the subject.

"So do the women remove all their clothes or do they still have panties on?" Alex asked.

"Enough," I shot back.

"Please I am not trying to torture you, I just need to know. Don't act so high and mighty, that night with Denise's hen party; you shook your ass on that stage at the strip club. And it was very sexy, especially when you took your top off, remember you had that short black mini skirt on with those high heels, not to mention that sexy lace bra.

I remember seeing the clips on your stockings when you went down against that pole."

Alex was 100% gay but he appreciated a woman's body. He was very inquisitive that was all. He had the opportunity to have sex with women because he was sweet, attractive and rich.

But he turned them down he loved Dean, although they weren't sure what they were to each other really.

"We are getting a permanent pole installed as soon as we get back home," Joshua said being very serious.

"I am afraid you will be disappointed, I am not good at it," I said.

I heard Dean and Alex snort at the same time about what I said.

Then Alex said, "please, after that night all the girls that were there wanted to join pole dancing classes, Julia even said that she was happy her husband wasn't there because he would have left her for you in a wink. So Joshua do they have clothes on?"

I was lying again with my back on Joshua's chest. I just turned my face towards the window when Alex asked the question again.

I could feel him looking at my face but I didn't look up at him. I tried to shut the conversation out. He turned his face to Alex again.

"They usually only take off their bra's, they leave on their panties," He answered "Usually? So what did that one of yours take off?" Alex asked again.

Dean and I weren't even interested in stopping it anymore, we let Alex get all the answers and then it would be the end of it. He didn't give up easily.

"She only had her high heals on," Josh answered.

I figured that was the end of it but I was wrong.

"Is the no touch policy true?" He continued.

Josh laughed and threw his head back again.

"You have allot of questions, you do realise I want this woman to still want to marry me in a couple of hours?"

Dean just snorted he had his back turned to Alex.

"Last question I promise, then we can forgive and forget I promise," Alex said.

Dean snorted again. I was still looking out the window.

He answered Alex, "usually."

I heard Alex give a giggle.

"So..." he started but Josh stopped him.

"So that was your last question."

Alex just gave a sigh of disappointment.

"It must be fantastic being you," Alex said.

I felt Josh look at me and he said in a sigh, "not at the moment."

He felt my body was stiff I was so irritated that I couldn't breath normally.

"Please fasten your seatbelts we are about to land. I hope you enjoyed the trip around Vegas, I circled so you could get the full view of Vegas," the pilot said over the intercom.

Dean and I spoke at the same time, "not at all."

I sat up straight and fastened my seat belt.

"Why are you angry? It wasn't me that felt up a naked stripper," Alex said to Dean, when he reached for his hand and Dean pulled away.

Dean shot him a disgusted look and they started fighting.

"Are you angry?" Josh asked me over them shouting.

I shook my head not looking at him. I heard him sigh.

"So are you going to show me your talents on the stripper pole?" He tried.

I shook my head again.

"Katie please it was long ago, Alex was just inquisitive what did you want me to do, lie?" He asked.

"Its fine Joshua," I said.

"I was drunk out of my mind..." he started to explain.

"Please stop," I said softly.

### Chapter 22

The plane landed and Alex and Dean got off so fast that I didn't even know where they thought they were heading. They were still shouting at each other.

I loosened my seat belt and got up. Joshua was still sitting, he just took off his seat belt.

I was about to get off the plane when he grabbed my arm.

He pulled me onto his lap and stated kissing me. It was a very aggressive kiss. I fought him for about four seconds and then I just gave in.

I could hear Alex and Dean still fighting outside, but it seemed that we were fine.

Me being angry, him being frustrated at me because I didn't let him explain, made the kissing more aggressive.

He threw me on the seat next to him and got on top of me.

There was no gentle feeling and caressing, he put his hand in under my shirt on to my breasts.

He kissed me in my neck. I moaned softly, it felt good. I felt him breathing in my neck.

He whispered in my ear, "I have never felt so turned on in my life."

He pulled my leg up against him.

"I can feel that," I said softly.

He sat up and loosened my jeans top button. His eyes never left mine. I started unbuttoning his shirt when Dean stormed in.

"If you don't come now, I am walking," he said.

He saw what we were doing but that didn't make him leave.

"Okay, okay I am coming," I said pushing Josh off me.

"I am not," Josh said joking.

I turned my face back to him and smiled.

"Well," Dean said tapping his toe on the floor.

I got up and closed the button on my pants. We got off the plane and into a limo. Dean was sitting with his back to Alex.

"How is this going to work now?" I asked Josh trying to get everyone's attention back to the wedding.

"We have two rooms booked one for you and me and one for Dean and Alex, Jack is staying with a friend. I will be with Jack in one room getting ready, Alex and Dean will go with you to help you get ready," he suggested.

"I think Alex should go with you, I bet he has tons of questions," Dean shot back. "He is welcome to come with us, but there are no more questions," Josh said firmly looking at Alex.

We got to the hotel and met Jack there. Joshua, Alex and Jack got out of the elevator first.

He gave me a long kiss and then Dean and I went up to the other room.

The rooms where three floors apart, Josh probably booked it like that so that we wouldn't hear Alex and Dean but by the looks of things they weren't going to do anything but fight.

It was absolutely a room with a view. I stood there and watched out over Las Vegas it was unbelievable. I wondered what the electricity bill must be to keep that place's lights running 24/7.

"He slept with someone else," Dean said standing behind me.

I turned around frowning; I didn't understand where Dean was coming from.

"Who slept with someone else?" I asked confused.

"Alex, he slept with someone else when we broke up two weeks ago. I am not angry because we were broken up; I am just disappointed because it didn't take him very long to move on," he said looking very sad.

"When did you find this out?" I asked.

"He told me when we got back together."

I felt so helpless I couldn't think of the right words to say.

"I don't know what to say or do for you. Why is it upsetting you now if you knew about it for a week already?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"When he started asking Joshua all those questions I felt so hurt but I thought he was just asking. When we were outside the plane fighting, he told me he had, had sex with a woman. He has known her for a long time and it just happened. Now after him asking Joshua all the questions and knowing that he had sex with a woman, it bothers me," Dean explained.

I sat next to him and put my arm around his shoulders. I wanted him to know that I felt bad for him. I thought he was angry like I was because of the conversation. I never realised that, that conversation would bring more heart ache.

"I am so sorry my dear friend. But Dean you must think of it this way he is here with you now. He came back to you, he told you everything and to him it's confusing you being angry about something that happened two weeks ago. Yes granted you didn't know it was a woman but now you do. What are you going to do now?"

I tried my best to make him see reason, because Dean loved Alex and they were soul mates.

They had broken up two weeks ago because of a stupid fight they had. I didn't know all the details but I knew when he told me about the break up that it wasn't serious and they would find their way back to each other.

"I love him Katie; I just don't want to loose him," he said as he started crying.

"I know- maybe you should talk?" I suggested.

"Will you be okay for couple of minutes?" He asked.

I nodded and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

When he left, I started preparing for my wedding. I was finished getting dressed and had my makeup done to perfection in no time at all.

I looked at the watch I had only a couple of minutes to spare, so I decided to phone my parents.

I didn't want them to find out about the wedding by reading it somewhere or by seeing it on TV.

They were happy for me and supported my decision, they were just upset that they couldn't be there and that they didn't know Joshua. I assured them that I would introduce him as soon as I could.

My dad said something that made me feel excited about my wedding; it took away all the unsure feelings.

He said, 'If you love him then there is nothing more to it. If he makes you feel special and he is good to you, then you should do it.'

I did love him and he did make me feel special and he was good to me. I was more confident more than ever.

I told them that we were having a big wedding for all the friends and family but that I don't know when.

I was still talking when Dean came back. He was tapping on his watch, I said goodbye to my parents and put the phone down.

"Did you sort out the problem?" I asked him.

I could see he was smiling again.

"Yes I did, we will be okay. I was down stairs with Joshua he is so nervous. He didn't stopped talking the whole time I was there. Jack gave him a shot of whiskey; we thought he was going to pass out," Dean said laughing, but what he said just made me nervous.

"Why would he get that nervous? Maybe he doesn't want to go through with it. Maybe I should phone him or go see him?" I asked.

"No don't be silly he is fine now. He really wants to marry you. You should see your ring; it must have cost the price of a small mansion.

Look I didn't want to upset you, I just wanted to tell you he is nervous too that's all," Dean tried to explain.

"We should go; he is waiting down stairs for you. Since you are getting married in Vegas I don't think seeing you before the time will be a problem, I pretty much think no rules apply here," he joked.

I took my bag and put the hotel key in it. We got into the elevator and went down to the lobby.

When the doors opened I saw him sitting on a chair with his face resting on his fists. I looked at him for a couple of seconds before I walked towards him.

He didn't look at me; he hadn't noticed me getting out of the elevator.

I studied his face to see if he was just nervous or was it regret.

Jack saw me first and patted him on the shoulder.

He got up and walked towards me, he was smiling his expression turned from a worried look to satisfied and happy. He took me in his arms and gave me a hug.

He said softly in my ear, "I was worried you wouldn't go through with it."

I pushed him away a little and looked into his eyes I gave him a reassuring smile and said, "I have no regrets let's go do this."

### Chapter 23

The chapel was beautiful it wasn't at all what I had pictured. There wasn't an Elvis and a wacky woman with purple hair, or a bunch of drunken people waiting to get married. It was quiet. It was decorated in white roses and fairy lights.

The minister was an old man; he was friendly and extremely excited to have a celebrity in his chapel. He asked Joshua for an autograph for his daughter, who according to him had watched all his movies and who absolutely adored him.

Joshua had never said no to pictures or autographs so that night wasn't any different. The old man took the autograph and put it in his pocket he directed us to our places and began.

"Dearly beloved....."

It was a nice service seen as this man didn't even know us, he said the nicest things about love and how one couldn't deny it for very long.

Jack had told him before the service that Joshua and I only dated for one day and that we were engaged for one day. The minister did not object to marring us after hearing that, because he said he saw that we loved each other.

He mentioned to us that when he saw us, he thought we had more love for each other than most of the couples he had married before.

"Joshua Edward Scott do you take Kate Roberts to be your wife, do you promise to love her and cherish her in sickness and in health till death do you part?"

Joshua looked at me and smiled a sweet smile.

"I do," he said.

"Kate Roberts do you take Joshua Edward Scott to be your husband, do you promise to love and cherish him in sickness and in health till death do you part?"

"I do."

"You may now exchange the rings."

Jack gave me Joshua's ring and gave my ring to Joshua.

The minister went on explaining what a wedding ring meant and how this was a symbol of commitment and love.

"By the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. Joshua you may now kiss your beautiful bride."

Joshua kissed me, I held on to that kiss for as long as possible.

He gave me a hug and said in my ear softly, "I will love you forever."

I looked at him and whispered, "I will love you forever."

"Mr and Mrs Scott." Jack said before he congratulated us.

"So where will we be going to celebrate?" Dean asked

"We are going to the casino and we are gambling, I think we have had a pretty lucky day," Alex said.

I was standing next to Joshua I had my arm around him; he kept on kissing me on the side of my head.

I looked at my ring it was amazing, I could not have picked out a better one myself.

It was a platinum setting, with a big yellow diamond and smaller white diamonds on either side.

"Do you like it?" He asked looking down at it.

"I absolutely love it," I said kissing him.

His ring was a plain platinum band.

"Let's go celebrate," Jack said pulling Joshua's arm.

"I think we should go back to the hotel first so we can change, I am not walking around Las Vegas in a suit," Joshua said pulling at his jacket.

"Very well let's go back to the hotel, but I am timing you two. No private celebrations till later tonight," Jack said pointing at us like we were two naughty kids.

We got back to the hotel; I took the key out of my handbag and opened the door.

The place looked totally different than before, it was decorated in flower petals and candles. It was very romantic. There was a bottle of champagne on ice waiting for us.

"Joshua look," I said with a gasp.

"You weren't supposed to see this till later," he said.

"But oh well seen as you already seen it-" he started kissing me.

I threw my handbag down and put both my arms around his neck.

He pulled my dress up and picked me up. The dress would have been too tight if he just had to pick me up.

He carried me to the room but before he could put me down on the bed I said, "I don't want to be the one to spoil the fun but lets go celebrate with the others first, we can always make an excuse to come back early and then we can enjoy this beautiful room and the cold champagne, besides I have a small surprise of my own."

He sighed.

"Alright then lets get this over with, I don't like waiting on surprises," he said with a smile on his face.

"Oh this one is worth the wait; I don't like waiting either so I will give you a clue."

I started teasing him.

"It's black and it's made of lace."

"That's it, we aren't going anywhere I want my surprise now," he begged.

"No we are going and you are going to behave," I said firmly.

He sighed and put me down.

The night life in Las Vegas was unbelievable it looked like people didn't sleep there. Dean and Alex were back to there affectionate selves.

Jack was commenting on all the girls that walked passed him, he was walking next to Joshua and he kept on asking, "What do you think of that one?"

He just pointed to girls at random. Jack was a typical bachelor; it was weird thinking of him in a relationship.

Joshua had told me once that he had been married. He married his high school sweetheart but it didn't last. She realised that she needed more out of life than to be a married woman. She left him one day when he was at work, the only thing left of her was a note saying that she was too young to play house with him. She did tell him that she loved him but she couldn't be with him any longer, she felt stuck.

Josh said that he was so broken that he didn't leave his apartment for weeks. At the time Josh wasn't an A list actor yet. But Jack managed to find him small roles in movies and commercials.

They were best friends; Jack being his agent was just a small part of their relationship. I didn't say anything about his comments about the woman because in a way he wasn't being a jerk, I could see he was just lonely.

Since Joshua's career took off, Jack's number one priority was Joshua.

"You never had a bachelor party? Maybe we should arrange something," Jack said so I couldn't hear, little did he know that I could hear him.

"I don't think so; I have had more than enough bachelor 'parties' in my life. I am a married man now," Josh said.

"Do you mind if I have one?" Jack said pointing at a girl sitting at the bar.

I didn't understand it at first because how could he classify a one night stand as a bachelor party. Ignorance on my part I realised.

"You can but I think that one is a bit out of your league," Josh said laughing.

"I will just throw around some names and she will be putty in my hands," Jack said making eyes at her.

She was looking at us; she probably saw that we were talking about her.

"Just don't throw around my name," Josh said firmly.

"Are you kidding? Having you is better than having a puppy, you are a way better chic magnet," Jack said seriously.

"Jack I don't think she is what you think she is," Josh said.

"Oh but I think she is. Would you like to put a wager on it?" He asked.

"Alright I will put up ah lets say 10 000," Joshua said taking out his wallet.

"You are on," Jack said getting up.

He fixed his hair and took his drink. He walked over to the woman.

I saw them talking she smiled at his pick up line, he was very charming, I could see he knew how to get a lady's attention.

"What is this about?" I asked Josh.

I saw him smiling at them standing there talking.

"Just wait for it," he said.

He was clearly expecting something would happen.

I looked over my shoulder to see what Alex and Dean were up to; they looked so happy.

Alex was gambling and Dean was sitting by him for moral support. They were laughing out loud, I was happy for them.

"Look," Joshua said pointing at Jack and the woman.

She got up and stood against Jack she whispered in his ear. He put his hands on her lower back clearly still applying his charm.

He was whispering something to her when all of a sudden the woman slapped him. "Ouch..." Josh said pulling his face.

"What happened?" I asked shocked at what I just saw.

The woman walked away and Jack just stood there.

After a couple of seconds he took his drink from the bar and walked back to us.

"She wasn't a prostitute," he said shaking his head.

"I could have told you that," Josh said laughing, he couldn't stop laughing.

"Yes you could have told me before she slapped me in public. That was cold brother," Jack said clearly disgusted.

"I am sorry you are right," Joshua said still laughing.

"How did you know?" Jack asked him.

"Because I have seen her before. She is a reporter."

I realised why he was so sure of himself and why he was laughing.

"That was cold Josh, very cold," Jack said still rubbing his face. "I will write you out an IOU."

"Its fine it was great entertainment it was worth every sent," Joshua said.

Dean and Alex joined us, they were very excited about the money they had just won. Dean was telling me in greater detail how the slots and tables work. He definitely loved everything about Vegas.

We told them about what had just happened to Jack, Alex couldn't stop laughing either.

"I am not getting laid, am I?" Jack asked looking very disappointed.

"Josh cant you call someone and pull up some favours?" He asked looking hopeful.

I turned to Joshua and gave him a disgusted look.

"I don't have anyone to phone for favours, sorry buddy."

"What about that girl that use to come to your hotel room, what was her name? Monica I think?" Jack asked clearly not thinking.

"Yes Joshua why don't you phone Monica? I clearly don't know allot about your past and coming to Vegas brought out all the skeletons," I said angry.

I got up he still tried to grab my arm, but I moved so fast he could not get hold me.

"I will be at the bar having a drink, if anyone is looking for me. FYI if someone tries to pick me up I think I won't hit him. Maybe I should create my own experiences so we are on level ground Joshua."

I turned and walked away, I still heard him yelling my name but I didn't look back. Every impulsive decision has its own repercussions.

It wasn't that I was doubting my decision to marry him, I was getting worried about the things I didn't know about him. I understood what life was like for a young celebrity, they have everything at their finger tips. Drugs, alcohol, woman everything. Was I that ignorant to think Josh was different? Me thinking he was just so young in the game, he wasn't touched by the harsh world of money and stardom. "Tequila, make it a double," I said to the bar man.

He poured and I drank, I thought more and more about what Jake said, maybe I did have a drinking problem. Nah I thought, what did he know and why was it affecting me on my wedding night? The same wedding night I wasn't speaking to my husband, what a disaster.

"Didn't you ever think that he loves you more than when he was rich and lonely?"

I heard Jack's voice.

"Why is he rich and not lonely now?" I mocked.

"Stop being such a bitch. Stop switching between happy and angry every second minute it's making me dizzy. You know actors, you work with them every day, don't tell me you didn't know he might have been a bad boy. He wasn't half as bad as you think. But yes he enjoyed the perks of being a celebrity."

I just looked at him I didn't say a word because in my mind I had a lot to say. I looked down at my drink and smiled.

"Screw you Jack, go crawl into a strip club and get laid, why don't you?"

I saw that Joshua was looking at us and he saw when my body language changed.

He got up and walked over.

"Is everything okay here?" He asked worried.

"Yes Jack here told me I should stop being a bitch and I told him to bugger off and get laid. Other than that we are just peachy," I said downing tequila.

"You said that to Katie?" Joshua asked Jack.

"I did, she just needs to understand who you are," Jack defended himself.

"So you want to say that according to what you told me, Josh is a bad boy batcholar that likes to abuse his power as a celebrity?" I asked Jack.

"That is not what I meant," Jack said angry.

"I understand perfectly well what you meant and I think you should get out of my face before there is a problem," I said frowning at Jack.

Josh was just standing there he had never seen this side of me and by the looks of things he didn't want to get involved.

Dean and Alex also came to stand there.

"Seen as she is already angry with the both of us, maybe it would be a good idea to tell her now that you are moving to New York after the movie is finished."

Josh looked at Jack as if he wanted to tell him that he thought Jack was being a total idiot.

"You are moving?" Dean asked in disbelief.

I just looked at Joshua I was trying to get my mind as far as to form the words but I couldn't, he saw my face and gave a sigh. I could see he didn't want to talk about it tonight but he couldn't avoid the subject any longer.

"Before we got together I made an offer on a penthouse apartment on the Upper East side of New York. I haven't got a fixed address due to me travelling with my movies. After our movie I was going to take a break, so I looked around for a place to stay. I didn't want to live out of a hotel room forever," he explained.

"So are you saying they accepted your offer?" I asked.

"Yes they did, by the time the movie is done filming they will be out and I or let me rather say we can then move in," he said.

I looked at Dean's face he was disappointed because neither he nor I ever thought it would come down to me moving. I downed another shot of tequila, I was happy that I had told the bar man to keep them coming. I got off the bar stool and stood as close as I could to Jack and said, "you are an asshole."

And I walked away.

As I walked away I heard Josh arguing with Jack. Dean and Alex ran after me. "Katie wait," Dean pleaded as he ran after me.

I stood still in my tracks.

"Don't be angry with Joshua please. This has been a rocky trip granted but Jack had too much to drink and his ego took a knock with that reporter. You told him what you thought of him so let it go."

He was right. The last couple of days felt like I was trapped in a drama that just never came to an end.

"I want to go home," I said to Dean.

"Tell Joshua, we can be home before morning," he suggested.

I looked over at Joshua and Jack still having an argument. I took a deep breath and walked back to them.

"You had no right," I heard Joshua say.

"Joshua come let's get out of here please," I said putting my hand on his arm.

"I am sorry Katie," Jack said. I could see he was being sincere.

"Its fine Jack I am not here to fight with you, I want to go home back to Los Angeles," I said looking over at Joshua.

"And so the honeymoon ends," Jack said sarcastically under his breath.

"We are not done here," Joshua said.

He took my hand and we walked towards the exit. It felt as if he was dragging me behind him because he was so much taller than what I was. Every big step he gave I had to give about three just to keep up.

Dean and Alex also followed us out of the casino. When we got outside Joshua just gave this irritated angry sound off, almost like he wanted to scream but he couldn't.

"I think if it's okay with you, that you and I go somewhere alone," he said not looking at us.

He was facing the road in front of the casino with his hands on his hips. He was taking in deep breaths of fresh air. I looked at Dean and Alex. Dean walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and Alex rubbed my arm before giving me a hug good night. They both said goodnight to Joshua he didn't turn to them he just waved. It wasn't him being rude, it was him still being very upset and he didn't want us to have yet another fight in front of them. They left and I stood there waiting for him to say something.

### Chapter 24

"I didn't tell you about New York, not because I didn't want to, I didn't tell you because of Dean. I thought that if I had some time I could think of a way to tell you so that it doesn't seem that I just married you and then I am moving you away."

I stood there looking at him he was still standing with his back to me.

"I know," I said softly.

"Since we got here all we have been doing is fighting. I have been made the Villon more than once and for what? For things I did when I was still single and might I add lonely and struggling with the idea of stardom," he said shaking his head.

"I know," I said again.

"I am not going to defend what Jack said to you, because he was wrong being so rude to you. But what did you expect Katie, I am not perfect and although I would have loved to be perfect for you I can't. I can't change who I was and what I did. I never in a million years thought that I would fall in love with a girl who cares about me and not my bank balance. A girl who would give me a chance not worrying about what she would get out of it," he said as he rubbed his forehead.

"I am sorry."

He turned around and put his hands on my arms.

"I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to understand, I want you to understand me. I have a pretty screwed up past and unfortunately you are living most of it tonight. I can't change it," he said looking into my eyes.

There it was again the sadness was back. I wasn't only now at battle with myself but with him as well and he didn't deserve it. I was hurting him again; it was becoming a pattern with me.

"If you want to go home then we go home," he said.

"I just want to go back to before things got so out of control," I said softly.

He put his arms around me and held me, I started crying. I couldn't control it, I couldn't stop it.

"I love you," he said over and over.

That made my guilt worst. I felt him put his hand over my face almost covering it. I took it off and looked up at him.

"Why are you..." I started but then I realised it was because he saw a reporter taking photos of us.

"They are everywhere," he said getting angry again.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Just kiss me," I demanded pulling him closer by his shirt.

I was going to make the most of it, using the reporter to my own benefit. If they saw us kissing they wouldn't publish a story about us breaking up or what ever nonsense they could think up. I pulled my sleeve up and put my hand on his cheek so that my wedding ring would be clearly visible. I stopped kissing him and smiled at him. "Smile for the camera baby, I am going to make you famous," I said winking at him. There were two more reporters.

He smiled at me and shook his head.

"Miss Roberts are you now Mrs Scott?" One asked.

I looked at Josh almost asking him with my look if it would be okay to make a comment.

Josh turned to the reporter and said, "since three hours ago yes."

It was very unlike Josh to make comments without Jack's permission. The others also ran over because they saw we were answering questions.

"We should get out of here, you know those seagulls," I said joking.

"That's all thank you," he said before he took my hand in his and we walked away. "What do you feel like doing Mrs Scott?"

I smiled at the thought of that.

"I would love to go dancing."

He looked at me with a frown and a smile.

"Dancing?" He asked surprised.

"Yes we haven't had our first dance and we are in Las Vegas. I would like to have some fun after we had a somewhat terrible day, except of course for the wedding itself."

"Very well my beautiful wife lets find a place to dance. Anything to make you happy," he said kissing me on the top of my head as we walked.

### Chapter 25

The first place we got to looked like a circus, literally a circus. Even the people in there looked like carneys. It was weird, but something different at the same time. "Should we have our first dance here?" He asked hinting on what the place looked like.

"I think not," I said.

The second place was much better, the two places were only a block apart but it felt like it was on two different planets.

"This is better," he said as we walked in.

The people in this club were a younger crowd than the place before. There were some familiar faces there, people I have seen on magazine covers and on the entertainment news.

It was the playpen for the rich and famous. I realised as we walked in, Josh knew more than half of the people in there. He saw me looking at everyone that walked passed him greeting him.

"We can leave if you want," he suggested

"No your world is my world now," I said sneaking him a kiss on his cheek.

We managed to find a place to sit; it was a sofa and a table surrounded by strands of crystal beads right at the back of the club.

The music was so loud that I could hardly hear what the waitress said. He realised that and just ordered for me.

There were a couple of people that came over to say hello. There were so many people that I couldn't remember half of them, I knew allot of them from seeing them on TV but they looked so different in real life.

I wasn't the type of person who got star struck, but there were a few celebrities I didn't mind meeting. And that night I did meet some of them.

It was amazing. His world had its advantages I just needed to concentrate more on that. The music playing in that club wasn't slow romantic 'we just got married' music it was pop disco music.

I was a good dancer I wasn't sure if he was, there was no point just sitting there wondering.

"Let's go dance," I said taking his hand.

He was a great dancer.

It was fun, there was a free feeling like the drama of earlier didn't even happen. I felt so sexy and happy. He was watching me dance so I decided to tease him a bit.

"You are driving me crazy," he said in my ear as I rubbed up and down against him. We danced for a couple of songs and then agreed it was time to sit and enjoy our drinks. As we walked past the other if a person could call it cubicles I saw the people snorting cocaine.

Some of the older men had young girls snuggling up against them, while they were smoking their cigars and drinking their whiskeys. Some of the young actresses were so drunk and drugged out of their mind they could not walk straight.

The one girl that I recognised was lying past out on a sofa. It was sad to see the hand of success ruin them. Success wasn't for everyone I thought as I watched the people we passed by.

I noticed at the back was a small slid of light and then it disappeared. It looked like a door, but where did it lead to?

"What is behind that black door?" I asked Joshua when we got back to our spot.

"It's the VIP lounge. You see, some of the 'Celebes' don't mingle with the 'little' people out here so they go in there," he explained.

"Cant we go there?" I asked.

"That wouldn't be a good idea; it's not quiet what you are thinking," he said smiling shaking his head.

"I want to see," I insisted.

He took a big gulp of his drink and I did too, what ever made him gulp down his drink like that made me nervous.

He took my hand and led me to the door; the lady standing there recognised him and nodded. She pushed the door open and I followed him still holding onto his hand. When we got in there I didn't think much of the VIP lounge. It had a bar and it had more cubicles than the other room. The difference was the waitresses had only G-String panties on with high stilettos.

They were walking around with trays of cocaine and pills. There were women in there that would do anything for a couple of thousand dollars. It wasn't common hookers Josh explained they were called Escorts but they would for an extra bit of money, do anything you wanted.

There were people having sex in a cubicle at the back. The crystal beads were pulled to one side by a girl standing there waiting to join in, there were about four people busy already, and then her hand left the beading and she slipped in, I saw her through the swaying beads. She leaned down to kiss another woman laying flat on her back with a guy having sex with her.

My eyes were everywhere I couldn't believe what I was seeing, it was like the under world for them.

"So this is how the rich and famous live?" I asked Joshua shocked.

"Lets go I think you have seen enough tonight," he laughed as he dragged me by my arm out there.

We walked back to our spot and I grabbed the waitress by the arm and placed another order.

"What are you thinking?" He asked when we sat down.

"I am thinking it must be sad getting caught up in that,"

He pushed out his bottom lip and nodded.

"It's a choice Katie. Each and everyone in that room is worth billions they could chose a different life if they wanted to. But they have money, they get bored, they become so self obsessed and greedy that they push away everyone and then they end up in that room."

I looked at him and thought if he too had come close to feeling, that loneliness.

"How did the lady at the door know you?" I asked.

"She has to know everyone, if she doesn't recognise an A lister, and they make a scene about it, which they will, she will be fired and she won't get a job in Vegas again, unless she becomes a hooker.

"That's a tuff job," I said with a sigh.

I moved closer to him on the sofa and snuggled in under his arm. It was my safe place, when ever I laid against him with his arm over me I felt safe.

He kissed me softly on my head.

"I love you."

"I love you too. You still look shocked," he said smiling at me.

"I am. Would you have sex in a room full of people watching you?" I asked.

"No I don't think I would be able to, although it would be somewhat exciting."

He winked at me.

"Really?" I asked inquisitively.

"No but I would like to have sex in a place where I could get caught out."

He was serious.

"Like where?" I asked sitting more upright.

"I don't know like in the restroom of a club," he said smiling.

I hit him softly on the chest and put my head on his shoulder.

"Don't you have fantasies?" He asked me.

"Sure I do," I said looking at him again.

"Tell me."

"I can't think of one right now but they are wild and daring," I said feeling stupid that I couldn't think of one.

"I just love you," he said kissing my forehead smiling.

"Wait, don't do that."

"Do what?" He frowned.

"Make out like I am this innocent girl that doesn't have a great naughty fantasy."

"I didn't," he said still smiling at me.

I took the last sip of what was left of my drink.

"Meet me in the ladies room in two minutes," I said getting up.

"You don't have to do that," he said trying to grab my hand but I was already on my way to the restroom.

When I got in there I couldn't believe how soft the music was in there.

The cubicles were open at the top and at the bottom.

The entire bathroom was black and white with marble. It was clear that the person who owned this club had money, but it would have to be if you look at the clientele.

I felt so nervous I couldn't decide if I should wait for him in one of the cubicles or should I wait by the door. It was awkward; luckily when the door opened it was him. I took his hand and dragged him to one of the open cubicles; two of the four were already occupied.

He closed and locked the door behind him. When he was standing the cubicle barely covered his head. I didn't know how we were going to do it.

I closed the toilet and put my handbag on there.

He put his hands on my sides just under my breasts and his forehead on mine. I could see the smile on his face.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

"Stop being so cautious around me, if I didn't want this I wouldn't have dragged you here," I said firmly trying to keep my voice down.

If two people were to talk to each other in there everyone would have been able to hear.

"Okay then, you can't make a sound if we get caught here it would be a scandal," he whispered.

"You mean worst than if we had to do it in the VIP room?" I asked confused.

"There are no reporters aloud in the VIP room they would never be able to get in, but here there is a chance that they could slip in," he explained in a whisper.

I nodded and started kissing him, my heart was racing it felt like my whole body was trembling.

He got excited almost immediately and that was a turn on for me.

I loosened the button of his pants and pulled down his pants and underwear, kissing him all the way as I made my way back up.

When I got back to kissing his neck, he put his hands in under my skirt.

"Where is your underwear?" He asked in a whisper.

"It's in my handbag I took it off just before you came in here."

He pulled up my skirt and picked me up against the partition of the cubicles. My one boot's heal hit against the wood, and I started giggling.

"Shh..." he said softly putting his finger over my mouth.

He was right it was exciting having sex in a place where you could get caught out. It was difficult not making a sound. He watched my face constantly, when ever I felt like I was going to moan I would kiss him.

The problem was you couldn't even breathe out loud out of fear of someone hearing you. I figured no one could see us because people were going in and out of the bathroom not noticing a thing.

"That was so great," he whispered.

He was still holding me up against the partition.

"Yes," I whispered in his ear trying to get my breathing under control.

He looked at my face and smiled.

"What you smiling at?" I asked softly.

"You are red in the face and I messed up your hair," he said trying not to laugh.

"Yes well you aren't as neat as you were when you came in here. Besides you try to keep your screams under control when you are having the best sex ever."

He smiled again and said, "I was here I know how difficult it is."

He gave me one last passionate kiss and left the ladies room.

I got my underwear out of my handbag and put it on. I tried to fix my skirt as I walked out the cubicle, it was completely turned. The front was at the back and the back was at the front. He was right my hair was standing in all directions.

I thought about him putting his hand in my hair while we were in there having sex.

I tried my best to style it but without a brush I couldn't do much. I scratched in my bag and found an in an emergency elastic I had in there.

I put my hair up in a ponytail it was the best I could do with no brush.

He was already sitting on our spot when I got out the bathroom.

"I see you managed to fix your hair," I said to him.

"Yes it's not that difficult," He said rubbing his head.

It had gel in so it basically just needed shaping and then it was back in place.

"I ordered us one drink for the road," he said.

I turned to him I positioned myself so I was lying against his chest.

"You know that the first time we had sex as husband and wife was in a restroom in a nightclub in Las Vegas." I said over the music but loud enough for him to hear.

He started laughing out loud.

"Katie we aren't exactly a couple that does everything according to tradition. It was great though don't you think?"

"It was pretty amazing and so exciting," I said widening my eyes at him.

"You are fantastic, you are right we still need to learn allot about each other but by what I know already, I cant wait to see what more there is to learn about my beautiful wife," he said.

### Chapter 26

We had our drink and spoke about our plans to move to New York. I was upset at the fact of leaving Dean behind. I had been living in LA for so long that it was my home. When I broke up with my fiancé I bought that apartment with the little money I had. I did have a couple of book sales under my belt but I wasn't rich. The thought of leaving that apartment felt unreal.

He made the suggestion that we keep the apartment and use it for long weekends when we came to visit the people in LA. He understood what my concerns were and that I would miss LA even more if I had no place to come home to.

It was amazing how money worked in Vegas. You could swipe your room key anywhere even if you didn't stay in that particular hotel. It was so easy. I understood why people got into trouble for not being able to pay their bills.

The ride back to the hotel was steamy. He couldn't keep his hands off me.

I never got the chance to put on the sexy lingerie that I bought for our wedding night but that didn't matter because I knew I would be able to show it off some other time.

The next morning he was still sleeping when I got out of bed. I jumped in the shower and then I phoned Dean. I invited him and Alex over for breakfast.

He said he was on his way up so I closed the bedroom door softly not to wake Josh.

I opened the door of the hotel room so Dean and Alex could just get in without knocking and making a noise. To my surprise Jack was pacing in front of the door.

"Morning Jack," I said he got a bigger fright than I did.

"I am so sorry about last night, I was a complete asshole," he said walking towards me with begging eyes.

I laughed and held out my arms to hug him.

"It's fine, you cant help being an asshole. But you were right," I said still hugging him.

Dean and Alex got out of the elevator and Dean asked disgusted, "what is he doing here?"

I hugged Dean and Alex and said, "don't worry we made up."

Dean turned to Jack and smiled.

"Good morning Jack how are you?"

Dean would defend me even if he thought the fight was pointless.

It was nice having everyone together laughing again.

I heard the shower and knew that Josh was up.

I gave everyone coffee, as we sat around discussing where we would go for breakfast.

"So where is your husband did you kill him with all the sex?" Jack asked.

I was about to answer when Joshua came into the room. I turned just in time to see him holding up four fingers moving his mouth to form the word 'times', smiling and nodding at Jack. I looked away and shook my head.

"Nice, that's not bad for last night," Jack said proudly.

"Nah that was just this morning," Josh said quickly.

"Nice!" Jack said nodding in approval.

"What are they talking about?" Alex asked.

"They are stroking Joshua's ego," I said.

"Good morning wife," Joshua said leaning in to kiss me on the cheek.

"So what did you kids do last night?" Dean asked.

"We went dancing," I said.

"That doesn't sound too exciting," he said disappointed.

"Oh it was believe me," Josh said winking at me.

"I don't want to know," Dean said getting the picture.

"I want to know," Alex and Jack said at the same time.

"I showed her the VIP room," he said looking at Jack.

"That is a shock but only for what five minutes. Did you use it?" He asked interested.

"No!" I said firmly. Josh and Jack laughed at the urgentness in my answer.

I looked at Dean and Alex, "I will tell you the details later."

"So what was so exciting?" Alex asked.

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," Josh said.

"We are still in Vegas that doesn't count when you are still here," Alex said trying to get information.

"Nothing happened Josh is just leading you on. What are we going to eat I am starving, I have been running on nothing but fresh air, alcohol and sex for the last couple of days."

Everyone smiled at me.

"She gets cranky when she is hungry," Dean explained.

"And believe me for a girl with such a petite frame, she can eat a lot."

I shot Dean a look, it wasn't necessary for him to say that.

"A girl that likes her alcohol, sex and isn't afraid to eat, I like," Jack said nodding again with approval at Josh.

I just gave an irritated sigh.

We decided to get room service to send up our breakfast. We would have a better time because no one would take pictures or bother us for autographs.

We told Jack that we told the reporter that we got married but he already knew. He had found out and scheduled an interview for us with one of the magazines. It didn't look like he was upset at us; it looked like he had everything under control. He did however make us promise to never comment on anything unless he authorised it. We both agreed and that was the end to that.

"I don't mean to be the grim reaper on your happy ending but we all need to sit down and talk about a prenuptial agreement," Jack said putting a fork full of food in his mouth.

"That won't be necessary," Josh said so a mater of a fact.

I could hear Jack chocking on the food.

"Unless you guys have had one drawn up without me knowing, yes it is necessary," he said in between coughs.

"No we aren't getting one," I said

"The two of you are worth millions separately," he said trying to prove a point.

"Yes and together we are worth billions," Josh said.

"You can't be serious. Joshua think about it."

"I did think about it and we spoke about it, we are going to take our chances," Josh said kissing me on my cheek.

Dean and Alex also had the look of total disbelief on their faces.

"You both know that without a prenuptial agreement if this marriage goes down in flames, she can take you for everything you have and the other way around?"

Jack explained pushing the plate of food away.

"The only way that this marriage will go down in flames is if one of us cheats," Joshua said.

"Yes and if its him that cheats I will kill him, so then the money is useless because I will be in jail," I added.

Joshua turned to me and smiled.

"Like wise baby," he said kissing me.

"You two aren't thinking clearly, obviously too much sex isn't good," Jack said pulling the plate of food closer again.

"Or the sex is really good," Alex said smiling.

Josh looked up and showed four fingers forming the word 'times' with his mouth.

I hit him on the arm.

"Stop doing that," I said laughing at him.

### Chapter 27

After breakfast, Jack followed Josh into the room. Josh was on his way to get dressed. We had decided to return to LA.

Jack kept on trying to get Josh to see reason.

"I see everything is going well again this morning," Dean said.

"He isn't going to book us on a separate flight back home?" Alex asked in a panic. "No you are coming back with us," I assured him.

"Katie I know I have no business asking you this but, you are still on birth control aren't you?" Dean asked concerned.

"No I went off it a couple of months ago," I answered.

Dean jumped up and bumped a glass over.

"What? Are you off your head?" He asked.

He was so loud that Josh and Jack came running back into the room.

"What is wrong?" Josh asked worried.

"It's nothing Joshua, Dean was just clumsy," I said widening my eyes at Dean. Joshua and Jack walked back into the room to continue their conversation.

"Does he know?" Dean asked trying to keep calm.

"Yes he asked me before we had sex the first time," I answered.

"But what if you fall pregnant?" He asked.

"I don't care and neither does he, we never spoke about it again."

Dean just shook his head.

"But you don't even like kids," Alex said.

"I don't like other people's kids," I defended myself.

"Your relationship is just so young and unstable it wouldn't be the greatest idea having a baby now. You should really talk about it," Dean said calmly.

"I know but how do I open the conversation?" I asked.

"Just ask him how he feels about having kids. And according to what he says you take it further. It's no use you ignore or avoid the subject till you get into a situation where there isn't a choice anymore," Dean reasoned.

"You are right I will speak to him before the end of the day." I promised.

Dean hinted with his eyes that Josh just walked back into the room.

The flight back was nice we laughed allot and everyone got along, it wasn't at all like the trip there. Jack was with us on the plane, and he shared some stories of him and Joshua. Dean did the same about us. The flight home didn't seem as long either it was because we had so much fun.

When we got back Joshua's bags were already packed and the hotel had sent them over.

"Home sweet home," Josh said as he put our bags down.

"We need to talk," I started.

"Oh boy, am I in trouble?" He asked, looking a bit worried.

"No it's not that, come sit by me," I said patting on the sofa.

"What is it?"

"How do you feel about having kids?"

"You don't waste any time," he joked.

"Please I am serious, you asked me if I was on birth control the first time we had sex and I was honest with you, I said no. We have had sex a couple of times after that and we haven't spoken about it."

I was red in the face again. I didn't want to have this conversation but Dean was right I couldn't avoid it any longer.

"I have actually also been thinking about it. We have been pretty reckless; honestly I don't want kids right now. But if something were to have happened in the last couple of days, I wouldn't be upset. Why, what do you want?" He asked as he pulled up his eye brows he had a hint of a smile on his face.

He was also not ready for this conversation but he did say he had also thought about it.

"I am so glad you just said that, I feel the same. I will go see the doctor tomorrow." He looked concerned again.

"Are you really happy with what I said or are you just saying so? You need to be sure; most women I know can't wait to fall pregnant. I need you to be honest with me," he said.

"No I am happy; I don't want kids now I am not ready. I want us to have fun and I want it to be just the two of us for a while," I said.

"I really got lucky with you," he said.

I got on to his lap.

"Kiss me," I said softly.

He put his hand behind my head and pulled me closer.

The next day I was sitting in the waiting room. I was nervous of going to the doctor. The smell of the surgery made it even worst.

The usually rude receptionist was surprisingly very accommodating.

I asked to see the doctor without an appointment; she gave me one look and told me she would squeeze me in.

As she smiled at me, I couldn't understand it at first but I didn't let it bother me, I just took a seat and waited for my turn.

I looked at the small chair and table with colouring books and pencils and thought, 'what if I was pregnant?' I got a weird feeling in my stomach as if I could feel something move in there.

It would be impossible I told myself. I was being paranoid.

A little girl with soft blond curls was sitting there drawing a picture. She looked at me with her big blue eyes and gave me a sweet smile. I smiled back.

I tried not to give her too much attention because kids would draw to me like a magnet.

I grabbed a book from the table and started reading it. It was a celebrity gossip magazine it would make for interesting reading while I waited.

I was paging through the magazine, not really noticing what was printed in it. I looked up and noticed that two of the women in the waiting room were staring at me. They were whispering to each other.

I cleared my throat and held the book up over my face.

I was still paging when there it was a double page spread: 'Actor marries Author.' The photos were taken in Vegas. There was only one photo I was aware of; the others were taken when I didn't notice it.

There was one with Joshua and I kissing passionately in the club, in that photo I was sitting next to him with my legs over him he had his hand on my leg.

It could have been seen as a very sexy photo it depended on how you looked at it.

The other photo was the one I deliberately showed of my wedding ring.

There was a small photo where we were standing outside the casino, where he was standing with his back to me and I was looking sad looking at the floor.

In the article they described my marriage as being on the rocks before it even started. 'According to a close friend of ours,' I was obsessed with his fame and I demanded we get married.

I couldn't believe what I was reading, it was rubbish and there was no way that I could defend myself.

"Miss hmm Mrs Scott." the receptionist called when it was my turn to go in.

I never changed my name on the file, so she too had read the article.

I nodded and walked to the doctor's office.

"Katie how are you?" Dr Joel asked.

"I am really good thank you for asking. Have you had a busy day so far?" I asked making conversation.

I always think that doctors have stressful jobs, everyone just comes there to complain and they expect a miracle.

"I have had busier days, what can I do for you today?" She asked politely.

"I need to go back onto birth control, I am sexually active again and I am not ready for motherhood," I explained.

"Yes I have read that you got married, congratulations and all of the best. I love my husband but sometimes I consider killing him," she joked.

"Joshua is great, we are still very much in our honeymoon faze," I said smiling. "Hold on to that dear, for as long as you can because after that faze the fighting starts and then one day you wake up and realise you and your husband are now more like friends than lovers," she explained.

"I hope this faze lasts forever then." I laughed.

She gave some good advice and not once did she ask me questions I was uncomfortable answering. I had a good relationship with my doctor she was good at what she did. She did some tests and assured me I wasn't pregnant.

She inserted an IUD into my uterus and gave me clear instruction to wait at least 24hrs before having sex.

I nodded but didn't know how I was going to tell Joshua; at least it wasn't as bad as the other contraceptives that only take 100% effect in two months.

After the consultation I walked up to the receptionist to pay the bill. She waited for the doctor to load the information on the computer.

I stood there with my credit card, waiting.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the receptionist was staring at me. I turned to her and smiled, she smiled back. It was very uncomfortable.

"Is there something you would like to say?" I asked very politely.

"What is he like?" She asked, the other two women were also listening in.

"What is who like?" I asked playing.

"Joshua Scott of course," the receptionist said giving a sigh of puppy love saying his name.

"He is kind and gentle and a fantastic person," I answered.

"Is it true, did you guys get married after knowing each other only two days?" She asked.

"No Joshua and I have been working on a movie set together for the last couple of months."

The receptionist looked a bit disappointed at my answer.

"But the magazine says you guys got married after knowing each other only a couple of days," she said pointing to the magazine on the table.

"Don't believe everything you read," I shot back.

"How is he as a lover? I read that, women who have slept with him in the past said that he is fantastic in bed," she asked smiling.

I couldn't believe my ears it was so embarrassing.

I sighed and looked over to the printer praying that the account was ready. There was still nothing. I saw the other two women were so intrigued in our conversation that they were sitting on the edge of their seats.

"I saw him on TV the other night, that Taylor girl was with him in the movie. That scene where they make love was incredible," the one said dreamy.

"Yes I saw it too; I wish my husband was like that with me in bed." the other one added.

"You do realise that was just a movie?" I asked irritated.

"So he isn't that good?" The one asked, looking somewhat disappointed.

I looked at the receptionist face it almost looked like she was about to drewl. How was I supposed to defend him, but yet keep my intimate life private?

I thought oh to hell with it and smiled a sweet smile, if they wanted me to answer them, I will.

"He is fantastic. The one time it was so fantastic that it felt like I was going to have a black out. It was unbelievable; I couldn't walk for two days."

I looked at their faces they were shocked. I saw the account come out the printer and gave the receptionist my credit card. She took it from me with her mouth hanging open.

I signed the slip and waved at the ladies as I left.

I was sitting in the car laughing, I knew that was going to come back to bite me later but it was just so funny. Warren asked me why I was laughing but I just couldn't tell him.

I asked Warren to take me passed Dean's office so I could go say hi and maybe have a quick coffee.

### Chapter 28

I told Dean what happened and all he said was Jack was going to have a heart attack.

We joked and laughed about it for a couple of moments before moving on to the next topic.

I spend most of the afternoon there with him, I lost track of time.

I sent Josh a message to tell him I am safe and where I was.

Dean asked me about New York and I explained to him that I would come visit when ever I had the chance. I also promised that when ever he felt lonely or that he missed me we would talk on the phone or that he could use the plane to visit. He looked more comfortable with the situation after talking about it.

Things with him and Alex were also better than ever. I was happy because he was looking so happy and excited; it was a look that I hadn't seen on him for a very long time.

He started getting busy so I told him that I was going to leave but I made a date with him to visit us that evening. Joshua and I weren't aloud to have sex anyway, so it would be a great distraction.

"I am home," I said closing the door behind me.

Joshua was on the phone so he just waved at me.

I went to the bedroom and took off my shoes. I put on comfortable clothes, and walked out back to the living room. He was sitting on the sofa busy on his laptop.

He had the biggest smile on his face.

I walked towards the kitchen to get me some juice.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked as I walked passed him into the kitchen. "Nothing just looking at a website Jack told me to go check out," he said.

"I am sorry I was out all day, I was at the doctor's and then I went to Dean's office. We spend the afternoon drinking coffee and catching. By the way he is coming for dinner tonight. He is bringing a couple of sushi platters."

I said still busy in the kitchen.

"Alright that's fine, what did the doctor say?" He asked.

I sighed about telling him that we couldn't have sex for twenty four hours.

"I got the birth control I will come tell you now," I said putting the bottle of juice back in the fridge.

I walked out and plonked myself down next to him. I explained to him that we weren't aloud to have sex and how the devise works. He listened but he still had a huge smile on his face. I didn't ask him again why he was smiling, I just continued to talk.

I couldn't take the smiling anymore so asked again, "why are you smiling?"

He closed the laptop and put it on the table, he turned to me trying to pull a very concerned face.

"What did the doctor say about your black outs?"

I put my hands over my face. I should have known better than to think it wouldn't get back to him.

He started laughing.

"No comment," I shot back from behind my hands.

"Jack is having a fit about it but I kind of think it's very funny," he said still laughing. He pulled my hands away from my face.

I was blood red in the face.

"Apparently you couldn't walk for two days. That must have been terrible?" He joked again.

I put my hands back on my face.

"I was just so irritated with all of the questions. They didn't stop and I just wanted to shut them up," I said trying to defend myself.

"Its fine, don't worry about it. It does my ego good and according to a website here, the fans love it," he said pointing at the laptop.

"I am sorry, I didn't think," I apologised.

"Its fine really I will deal with Jack. You should just be careful what you say because words get twisted," he warned.

"So twenty four hours?" he asked pulling his face.

"I know it's not ideal but maybe tonight we can feel what it feels like to get into bed and sleep," I said raising my eyebrows.

"That doesn't sound nice at all," he said frowning.

"We can try some other things," I said putting my hand down the front of his pants. "Don't do that I might just get rough," he joked referring to what I had said in the doctor's rooms.

I pulled my hand out and shot him an irritated look.

He tried to kiss me but I turned my face away, I sat there with my arms folded over my chest pretending to ignore him. But I couldn't keep it up for much longer; I was putty in his hands.

The sun was setting and the room was later filled with darkness.

We were still kissing on the sofa.

He was laying on top of me caressing me with his hands. I felt like a teenager making out with boyfriend. I knew that we wouldn't be able to keep it up for very long, we had a dinner date.

"You go take a cold shower; Dean must be on his way by now."

The truth was I too needed a cold shower. It was like being on a diet; you crave things you aren't supposed to crave.

He gave a disappointed sigh and got up; he put out his hand to help me up. He pulled me into his arms and gave me one last kiss before going into the room.

"Why don't you do something sexy and romantic tomorrow night?" Dean asked me when Joshua left the room.

"Like what?" I asked interested in his suggestion.

"I don't know, go out and get slutty lingerie or something."

I laughed at that.

What did he want me to do, buy a whip and spank Joshua? The idea of it made me laugh.

We couldn't continue the conversation because Joshua came back into the room. We spoke about the wedding and Vegas and what happened since in our lives. Alex was working at the club so he couldn't join us. Dean didn't stay late because he had an early morning meeting the next day.

### Chapter 29

After he left Josh and I sat on the sofa watching DVD's. I fell asleep in his arms I was still watching the movie when I just couldn't fight the sleep off anymore.

When I woke up the movie was finished the casting came up.

I noticed that I had fallen asleep on his chest but when I woke up I was laying on his lap. He was sitting with his feet up also fast asleep.

He had his hand on my side.

"Joshua," I said softly almost in a whisper.

He opened his eyes looking confused.

"What is wrong?" He asked rubbing me with the hand he had on my side.

"Let's go to bed its four in the morning we fell asleep," I explained.

When I got up I realised that my one leg and foot was fast asleep. I stood there shaking and rubbing it so that I could just regain some life in it.

"What are you doing?" He asked looking at me confused.

"My leg is sleeping," I explained pulling my face at the pins and needles sensation. He put off the TV and the light in the living room and walked towards me.

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.

"Do you think we are now an old married couple?" He asked.

"Why?" I asked barely awake.

"We fell asleep on the couch, now we are getting into bed and we are going to sleep immediately," he said joking.

"Yes I think so, although I know when we have the all clear tomorrow night we will be at it again."

He laughed. It had been the first night that we climbed into bed kissed each other goodnight and slept.

The next day we had breakfast and I noticed that he constantly looked at his watch. "Why are you looking at your watch the whole time?" I asked worried.

"I have an interview in four hours and I just want to get it over with," he said irritated.

I tried my best to take away his nervousness.

I had never realised how stressful an interview could be. I imagined that they would ask him questions about me, I wasn't sure how much he was willing to say or should I rather say; what Jack told him to say about me. I reassured him that it would be over in no time.

I thought about Dean's suggestion and wondered if I shouldn't distract him with little hints of what was waiting for him.

But then I thought he would get me to spill the whole surprise, not that I had an idea what the surprise was yet.

I could understand why his fans were so crazy about him he was charming, attractive and well spoken. He has had woman undress in front of him just for an autograph. Mothers offered their daughters like they weren't people but objects.

The thing that people don't realise was that they don't fall in love with the person or actor they fall in love with the character that person plays.

The fans fall in love with the character to such an extent that they believe he or she exists in real life. It's understandable because although the movie ends you still see the person on the TV and in magazines.

The only time when the fans realise there is an actual difference between the person and the character is when the actor or actress makes a movie that the fan doesn't enjoy.

The movies are a smoke screen, in real life no one really gets on that well with each other. I also noticed that most movies are the same. The title and actors might be different but the story was in a way always the same.

It's almost like they test the waters and when they realise something works, they milk it.

He left with a dark shadow hanging over him. He never minded interviews it was just that he didn't like it when his words got twisted.

### Chapter 30

I went back to Cathy's boutique and looked through the things she had in her shop.

I had been meaning to buy me a new pair of shoes for ages and it gave me an excuse to go.

She was following me through the shop the entire time asking questions about Joshua and I.

She was a snoop but she would never blab what I told her to the press, I trusted her. I never told her anything that I wouldn't tell anyone else but I knew that if I had slipped something she wouldn't run off and sell it to the closest tabloid.

I walked around and my eye caught a beautiful corset it was black lace with red ribbons treaded down the sides. It had matching panties and stockings. With the clips on the sides. It was so sexy and I loved the thought of me wearing it. So I added that to my already mountain of clothes and shoes I was going to purchase.

I paid for everything and went to a coffee shop nearby to have a cup of coffee and a slice of carrot cake it was the best carrot cake in the city.

I sat there wondering how I would surprise Joshua and hopefully cheer him up a bit. So I sent him a message.

'Meet me at restaurant The One at seven.'

I waited patiently for him to send me a message back. I thought that he might not send one back immediately because he was probably still be busy with the interview. But it didn't take long for his message to come through.

'See you then. Are we going alone?' He asked obviously thinking Dean might go with.

'No we are going to spend some quality alone time tonight.'

He sent me back a smiley face.

I paid for my coffee and cake and walked to a salon I regularly used.

I got my nails and hair done and also had the girl do my makeup. I told her I wanted a pin up look with bright red lips. She managed to get it spot on.

My hair was also done up in a low bun behind my ear it was a soft yet sexy look, I looked like a real pin up model.

I got home with only an hour to spare.

I put on the new underwear and a long black coat over it.

The One was a very exclusive restaurant it had a dining area and a bar. The rich and famous dined there; no reporters or cameras were aloud. It was perfect.

I went up to the bar and ordered a martini.

I took out my phone and texted him to meet me at the bar. I told him I had a black coat on.

It was difficult telling the lady at the door why I didn't want to check in my coat but she bought the story of me getting cold quickly and didn't bother me about it anymore.

I looked at the door when I saw him coming in.

He walked towards the bar and probably saw me sitting there, he walked up to me and tried to kiss me on my cheek when I pulled away quickly and said in a very English accent, "excuse me sir but who are you?"

He looked at me and frowned.

I took out a cigarette and lit it; I blew out the smoke slowly.

He looked at me smiling but also frowning at me smoking and pretending not to know him.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to buy a lady a drink?" I asked still keeping up the accent.

He looked at the bar man and ordered me another drink and one for himself.

"So what is a lovely lady like you doing alone in a bar?" He asked also playing with.

"I am married," I said showing him the wedding band rolling my eyes as I continued, "but my husband is such a bore. He is very rich and he says that he loves me but he never really shows it," I explained pulling my face pretending to be very bored.

He nodded pretending to be concerned. He took the cigarette from me and started smoking it, by the way he smoked it I could see that he was a smoker once.

"It must be incredibly lonely," he said sympathetically.

"Oh yes it is."

"Do you come here often Mr...?"

He played with, "Scott, not really Mrs...?"

"You can just call me Kate, if I tell you my surname you will know who my husband is."

He rolled his eyes as if to say of 'course we wouldn't want that.'

"It's my second husband the first died while we had sex," I said showing of a part of my leg.

I let the coat slip so that he could see my crossed legs and high heels. He looked down at my legs and smiled.

"He at least died a happy man," he said still looking at my legs.

"Oh yes he did, I just wish I could get rid of the second one," I said pretending to be irritated.

"You sound dangerous," he said.

He was leaning against the bar standing close to me.

"Mr Scott are you married?" I asked taking out another cigarette I offered him one and he took it.

He took the lighter and held it up for me to light my cigarette.

"Yes I am," he answered.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

"I do love her but she isn't home allot so it gets lonely in our apartment," he answered.

"Do you live close by?" I asked blowing out the smoke slowly.

"Yes actually just around the corner," he said pointing in totally the wrong direction. He wasn't very good at directions I always guessed it was because he never had to drive himself.

"We should go to your apartment some time," I suggested

"We can go now if you want?" He suggested eager.

"Is your wife not home?" I asked

"No I am all alone," he said excited.

"I hope you aren't expecting me to call you in the morning?" I asked teasing him. "No I don't expect you to," he said putting down money on the bar.

I finished my drink and got up. I walked in front of him.

As we got to the car I waited for James to open the car door.

"You look nice Mrs Scott," he said as I got into the car.

I just nodded with a smile at him before getting in.

"James please close the divider window," Joshua instructed.

When it was closed, he looked over at me I was looking out the window.

I had draped my coat so that it showed off my legs. I felt his eyes on me I was excited about getting home.

"Mr Scott you shouldn't stare its rude," I commented still not looking at him.

"I am sorry you are just so sexy. I can't believe that your husband doesn't give you the attention you need," he said sounding almost sincere.

"Mr Scott lets not get sentimental," I said quickly.

When we got to the apartment building, we stood at opposite sides of the elevator waiting for it to reach our floor.

He walked up to the door and unlocked it slowly. He let me go in first.

The apartment was dark there was no lights on. I walked in and put my clutch bag on the table.

He pushed the door closed behind him and stood against the door looking at me. There was a single candle standing on the table with a box of matches lying next to it. I took a match and lit the candle.

He didn't move he was still standing there watching my every move.

I stood with my back to him and loosened the coat's belt. I exposed my shoulders and then I lowered it slowly before letting it slip to the floor.

I heard his footsteps as he walked up to me. He put his one hand on my shoulder and his other on my stomach he kissed me slowly and softly from my neck down to the back of my shoulder. I felt his hands move to the back of my corset he loosened it slowly continuously kissing me.

"Mr Scott, remember you aren't making love to your little wife. I like it rough," I said in his ear.

He turned me around and picked me up, my legs either side of him. He pushed me up against the wall kissing me more aggressively.

I could feel that he enjoyed it but he was holding back. I pushed him away and ripped open his shirt, I just heard buttons flying everywhere. I pulled him closer again and kissed him more aggressively biting his lip gently. It drove him mad.

He pushed me even harder against the wall. I scratched his back and kissed his neck.

He carried me to the room and threw me on to the bed. It started getting a little more aggressive, more than I had expected. He tore off my panties and got on top of me. I didn't realise he could get so aggressive, I had never seen this side to him. It was exciting and I loved it. We had sex in many different positions that night including a couple of new ones.

Afterwards we laid next to each other totally out of breath. I just started laughing. "This was the best night of my life," he said laughing too.

"Was it a good idea?" I asked looking at him.

"At first I didn't understand the cold shoulder, but wait you smoke?" he said turning to me.

I laughed putting my hands over my face.

"Yes I do. I kind of stopped the day we started dating I don't know why," I admitted. "I have been doing it in secret," he admitted.

I hit him softly on the arm. He fell back onto his back and rubbed his face.

"I absolutely loved that," he said.

"I was scared that I would screw up the act?" I admitted.

"The red lips and the accent were very sexy. And when you showed of your legs it drove me insane," he said turning back to me.

"I was convinced that you were going to grab me in the limo," I said smiling at him. "I wanted to but I wasn't sure what you had planned for me. I am glad I didn't, when you let the coat drop to the floor it made it all worth the wait. Not to mention when you ripped my shirt off," he said rubbing his hand over my body.

"Yes sorry about the shirt, I wasn't planning on doing that but I noticed that you were being too cautious."

He looked at me I could see he got excited again just thinking about it.

"I adore you," he said softly.

"I love you Mr Scott," I said before I kissed him a little less aggressively.

### Chapter 31

When I told Dean about my sexy idea of the night before, he couldn't stop asking questions.

He was surprised at my daring side. It was very unlike me but when I started planning it I just couldn't stop.

Dean was complaining about Alex not sharing with him, he explained that Alex was miserable most of the time that they were together; he wasn't sure how he should handle it. I tried giving advice the best I could but if you aren't in the situation yourself, nothing you say will make the other person really feel better.

I suggested that we all go away for a long weekend and just have fun. Joshua loved to travel and so did I. Besides for the movie, we had no other commitments to stay at home.

The shooting of the movie continued, I didn't go to set everyday. In a way it was because my input wasn't needed that much anymore because there were only a couple of weeks of filming left.

With Joshua and I being married it was awkward because the people on set did in a small way treat us differently and we didn't want anything to change.

Nathan one of the personal assistants on set used to gossip with me about the actors but since we got married I have only seen Nathan but not heard from him again.

I spent most of my free time, arranging for the move to New York and also I tried to spend as much time as I could with Dean. I realised that soon enough we wouldn't see each other as often anymore so I made the most of the time we had.

We lunched and shopped often and even watched a movie now and then.

Since Jack broke the news of us moving and whenever we speak about it Dean referred to Josh as, 'the actor' again.

I didn't worry about it because I knew how Dean's mind worked.

Dean's business grew so rapidly that he had employed people to do everything for him.

He said it was because of all the publicity we got since I married the actor.

He enjoyed all the attention of the reporters. If we were lunching and his eye caught a reporter taking photos of us he would adjust his posture or smile in that direction. He would never eat anything but salad if we go out because he didn't want them to say that he was getting fat because he was eating junk food.

At least one of us was enjoying the paparazzi because I got so irritated with them sometimes that I had considered moving to a remote village in Ireland, just to get away from them.

It had been reported that I left an abortion clinic twice in the last six months. I had, had an affair and so did Joshua.

They had reported that his parents didn't like me and that they set him an ultimatum, I had not yet met his parents. We were just too busy with the movie.

My parents flew in and visited for two weeks, they loved him and I could see they were happy with my decision.

My mother just kept on saying that she was too young to be a grandmother, she told me I should wait because it is important to be completely selfless when having children.

I was still too selfish to share him so I understood what she meant. I wanted to go dance when I wanted to. If I wanted to spend the morning and half of the afternoon in bed with him, making love or kissing I wanted to do it without worrying about anyone else.

I was aloud to be selfish, I had found love. He was also very unpredictable if he wanted to do something he would do it.

We had sex in the limo once before going to an award ceremony because he couldn't wait till we got home later that night.

I had more time to myself while he was filming so I enjoyed some 'me' time. I couldn't read or write with him at home it was just too difficult to concentrate in-between him swapping channels and talking on the phone.

Then he also had this thing he did sometimes where he would try and have a conversation with me while I read. He didn't realise that it bothered me and sometimes drove me up the wall, so one day when he was busy with his emails on his laptop, I tried distracting him the whole time but he had this way of switching off and ignoring any background noise almost like he was in a world of his own.

I kissed him in his neck and bit his ear but he just smiled and rubbed my leg with one hand while he continued to type with the other hand. With a lot of determination I got his attention.

I was sitting at home one day reading a book; Joshua was filming the last scenes of the movie so I expected him to be home late. I could sit in my tracksuit pants and old t-shirt on the sofa reading to my hearts content.

The phone rang.

"What are you doing I need to come over." Dean said when I answered the phone.

I put the phone down and put the ice cream back in the fridge.

I agreed to him coming over so there was no point getting into the book, I would only be ticked off if I got to a juicy part and the door bell rang or better yet he let himself in.

It wasn't even fifteen minutes later when the door opened. He started talking immediately.

"You will never believe what I am going to do this weekend?" He started.

I shook my head; it didn't help me asking he was going to tell me anyway.

"I am going to take a road trip. Alex and I are going to his parents place the weekend. He wants me to meet them. Who knows maybe we will be getting married next," he said smiling pleased.

"So he is committing more to this relationship then?" I asked happy for him.

"Oh yes he says he loves me and he feels like we were made for each other. He wants me to meet his parents and then we are going to discuss moving in together."

He was happy and I knew that he had longed for this moment for years now. At first him and Alex were just friends with benefits but it changed later on. Alex was scared of going the whole nine yards because he wasn't sure his family would approve of him being gay.

"Does his parents know that he is a gay man now?" I asked wondering.

"Yes he told them. I have spoken to his mom a couple of times over the phone and they seem nice and not at all bothered," he said waving his hand.

"Then I am glad for you, so when are you leaving?" I asked.

"Tomorrow," he said excited.

We spend the rest of the day talking about packing and road trips. He asked to borrow some of my CD's for the trip. I gave him the CD's and made him promise to return them in the original state he had gotten them.

We were still organising his trip when Joshua came home. Dean couldn't wait to tell him the good news. Joshua put his bag down and sat on the sofa listening to every word Dean told him.

He offered them one of the limos but Dean insisted on driving himself, because it made it all the more personal and fun. I sat there wondering where he was going to get this car he wanted to road trip with. Neither he nor Alex had a car.

"Are you renting a car?" I asked confused.

Dean looked shyly at me.

"No actually I was wondering if I could use your car?" He asked.

I had a red convertible I had bought off a guy that advertised it in the news paper. I used it every now and then but I mostly used public transport it was just easier.

The car was old but it was mine, I never got it over my heart to sell it. Joshua took it out for a drive twice but he kept on suggesting that we get me another newer car. "Yes you can, who am I now to spoil your fun?" I said rolling my eyes.

He was so excited that I said yes that he ran over to me and hugged me, it felt like he broke my ribs.

"I have to go; I have so much I need to still do. We are leaving in a couple of hours. I want to be on the road before sunrise," he said grabbing the car keys.

I walked out with him to the car and he left.

I was smiling as I walked up the stairs I was so happy for my friend he did deserve to be happy. He was a good loving person who deserved this weekend more than anyone I knew.

When I opened the door I saw Joshua sitting in front of the TV fast asleep. I decided to snuggle up next to him. When ever he was away even if it was only for an hour I would miss him.

He woke up and moved his arm so I could lay under it. I picked up the remote and put the TV softer.

"How was your day?" I asked holding on to his chest.

He signed.

"It was long and I missed you terribly," he answered.

"I missed you too. Is the filming done now?" I asked.

"Yes it is. Lucas worked us today," he said laughing tired.

"Glad its over but the hard work is only starting now with Premiers and moving to New York," I reminded him, he just yawned.

I laid there on his chest listening to his heart beat, I could hear his breathing slow down as he fell asleep again. I flipped through the channels on the TV till I found something to watch. It was a movie I had seen years ago but it was the only thing that looked remotely appealing.

After the movie, I sat up and looked at him he was still sleeping in a sitting position with his arm around me he had not even removed his shoes he was just too exhausted. "Joshua its time to get into bed," I said kissing him softly on his cheek.

He opened his eyes and looked at me still sleepy.

He rubbed his eyes and sat up almost trying to wake up. I got up and took the mugs to the kitchen expecting him to be on his way to the bedroom by the time I got back. But he was still sitting with his elbows resting on his knees holding up his head. I sat next to him on the sofa and looked at him sitting there. He looked worried.

"What is wrong?" I asked softly.

"I am just tired I think I need a holiday," he explained giving me a reassuring smile. It was understandable that he would be tired because he had been on set for fourteen hour days.

"Is there anything bothering you?" I asked making sure that, that was the only thing that was wrong.

"No I am just tired," he said again but I could see on his face that there was more.

"Alright then get into bed you can sleep late tomorrow," I said.

"Are you coming too?" He asked.

"Yes I will be there in a second," I assured him.

I just had to lock up and then I would join him.

When I got to the room he was semi sitting in bed he had left my lamp on.

I walked to my closet to get out something to sleep in.

"Come here," he said softly.

I pushed the drawer closed and walked to him; I stood next to his side of the bed and looked at his face he looked so worried.

"What is it?" I asked.

I saw a hint of a smile forming on his lips he took my hand and pulled me over him. I didn't speak I just laid there looking into his eyes.

"You know I adore you," he said softly.

"Yes I do," I said feeling more concerned.

"I suppose I need to tell you before you see it on the internet or in a magazine," he said sighing.

"What is it?" I demanded.

"There is a story that broke this morning about me having an affair," he said looking at the reaction on my face.

"That's nothing it's happened before," I reassured him laughing it off.

"There are photos," he said looking ashamed.

"What do you mean there are photos?"

I sat up looking at him frowning.

"It was photos taken a couple of months ago before we were together. It was a girl I met at a party we just had fun it wasn't anything bad. The photos are of us getting into limo's and eating out. Its just I am concerned you might see it and then think it was taken resently.

There is one photo however where we were kissing on a balcony of a hotel room she only had her bikini bottom on. I don't know why the photos only surficed now. Jack thinks this woman had us photographed without me knowing about it and now she is using it as a meal ticket," he said rubbing his eyes.

"Did you have sex with her?" I asked softly.

"No I didn't but it looks like we did have sex if you look at that photo." he said.

"I believe you, besides I know you would never cheat so why are you so worried?" I asked rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

"She is claiming to be pregnant; she says it is my child. The press is having a field day because they reported that you were spotted leaving the doctor crying because we are battling to get pregnant," he said raising his eyebrows.

I looked at him and smiled, I could see that although most days he could have handled the press, today was just not one of those days.

"I love you," I said softly as I leaned in and kissed him.

"So you aren't mad at me?" He asked as he pushed me away.

I shook my head.

I leaned over and switched off my bedside lamp. I took off my shirt and started kissing him.

### Chapter 32

The next morning I woke up to the telephone ringing off the hook, I looked at the clock radio on his side of the bed it was already 11 am.

I looked at the door and saw him on the phone he was looking in to the room at me with the worst look on his face. I couldn't hear what he was saying but I assumed it was Jack on the phone. He disappeared out view and I heard him switching on the TV. I got up out of bed and put on my t-shirt.

I walked out to the door that separated the living room from the bedroom. He was looking at the TV with a look of shock on his face.

He looked up at me and said over the phone, "no she hasn't seen it yet, she is awake I will speak to you later. Just tell them that she is safe," he said as he put the phone down.

"What is wrong did she..." I assumed it had something to do with the woman and the photos.

He walked towards me and held me tightly to his chest. I pushed him away and looked at his worried face.

"What is wrong Joshua?" I demanded.

"There was an accident," he started, his eyes welled up.

I pushed him away and walked towards the TV.

There it was a wrecked car; it looked like a live feed from an accident scene. They showed a truck laying on its side it was burning and there it was, my red convertible crushed and burnt almost to the point where I couldn't recognise it.

At the bottom of the screen was words scrolling; 'no survivors there is still no news on whether Katie Roberts Scott was in the car at the time of the accident.'

My legs gave way under me I started shaking uncontrollably, I watched the TV like I was expecting it to be a movie. I didn't cry or speak I just sat there. I didn't feel him sit down next to me until he put his arm around me.

"I am going to be sick," I said as I ran out the room to the bathroom.

Dean was dead. He died driving my old car.

I lost my friend, the thoughts and images just kept on running through my mind. I sat there on the cold bathroom floor holding my legs against my chest.

Suddenly I felt this rush of complete sadness wash over me and I started crying, it just came out I was crying so loud that it echoed in the bathroom.

He came in and picked me up from the floor he put me on his lap and held me tight against his chest. He rocked me slowly rubbing me face with his hand. It felt like my life came to an end with Dean's. I was crying uncontrollably I couldn't stop.

He held me and rocked me the whole time.

The phone rang again.

"Get it maybe they found him, maybe he is okay," I demanded.

He got up and ran to the phone.

"No Jack not now," I heard him saying.

I got up from the floor and walked towards him. He was standing with his back to me.

"She can't handle that now... I understand but," he said. I stood there looking at him when suddenly I felt the room spin, I felt hot, my mouth was dry, I couldn't swallow and then everything went black.

He was standing there holding his hand out. He looked so happy just like I remembered seeing him on any other day.

"I love you friend, you will be okay you will see," Dean said still holding out his hand. I walked towards him and tried to take his hand when I heard, "Katie, oh please Katie." The voice pleaded.

I laid there thinking, 'why was this person in such a panic, I was okay.'

I opened my eyes and saw Joshua, the tears were running down his cheeks he was red in the face. He grabbed me up in his arms and held me kissing me in my face repeatedly.

"He is dead isn't he?" I asked without emotion he looked at me so sad.

"Yes I am so very sorry," he said rubbing my face with his hand.

I turned my face to his chest and closed my eyes. Please let me see Dean again just one more time, I thought.

"We need to go to the police station close to where the accident happened; they need you to identify some things," he said softly unsure of how I would react.

I got up and walked to the shower and opened it. He was following me, watching me constantly.

I stood under the shower reliving what I saw on TV it was weird; I could almost hear the crash even though I wasn't there.

I looked out at the room and saw him standing in the door watching me worrying that I might pass out again.

"You can go get dressed I am fine," I said over the running water.

He didn't move I washed myself and got out. He stopped me as I wanted to walk past him.

"Do you want us to get you something, to help you cope?" He asked.

"Is it going to bring him back?"

He didn't deserve it but I was just so angry.

I heard the door bell ring, it was Jack he came with us for in case there were reporters. He promised to take care of the press.

I got dressed in a denim pants with black stiletto boots and a black long sleeve top. I scratched in my cupboard and found a big pair of dark sunglasses.

I wasn't going to show my face to the paparazzi, not today.

I heard Jack say to Joshua, "I got her something from the doctor like you asked."

He held up a small bottle of pills I could see it through the crack of the open door.

"I don't think she will take it," Joshua said softly as he took the pills from him.

"Try she trusts you. Besides it's the best, I don't know what they are going to show her," Jack insisted.

I walked into the room and passed Jack, he still tried to say something.

"Morning Jack."

He looked at me as I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Joshua walked in after me I took a big sip of water from the glass.

"Please take this," he said holding out two white tablets in his hand.

I took it from him and swallowed it with the rest of the water.

He took the empty glass from me and put it on the sink; he put his arms around me and held me again. I didn't cry I just stood there totally motionless. I didn't feel sad or happy or angry just this emptiness.

"We should go we have a long drive ahead of us," Jack said leaning into the kitchen. I walked out and grabbed my handbag and the dark sunglasses.

I walked towards the door but then I froze I couldn't open the door.

If I leave the apartment it meant I was going out into the world, the same world where my friends were dead.

I felt him putting his arm around me he said softly, "its okay I am here."

I looked around at him and Jack and then I put the dark glasses on.

When we got outside there were a sea of people and cameras. Joshua put his arms around me protecting me from the people as he guided me towards the big black limo.

### Chapter 33

As I got into the limo I started feeling disorientated I felt light headed. It felt like I was going to pass out again. Joshua climbed in behind me and Jack followed. When the car started moving I leaned forward and held my head in my hands.

"Are you okay?" I heard Joshua ask.

I looked up and saw everything around me spinning again.

"Give me my hand bag," I said pointing to the bag in front of me.

He grabbed it and handed it to me. I opened it and lit a cigarette.

"She smokes?" Jack asked.

"Not really," Joshua answered.

I took a small glass out the mini bar and used it as an ashtray.

After smoking that cigarette I felt nauseous but I knew I wasn't going to throw up, it was just the emptiness inside me.

I got out a bottle of whiskey and opened it.

"I don't think you should have alcohol on the pills," Jack said concerned.

"I am fine pour me a drink," I said pushing the bottle in his hands.

He looked at Joshua and then poured me a bit in the glass.

"More," I said when he held the glass out to me.

He looked at Joshua again. Joshua just nodded and then Jack poured some more in the glass.

I took the glass from him and threw it down my throat.

"More," I said holding the glass out to him again.

He threw in more and I drank it in one gulp again. I put the glass down.

I could hear the sigh of relief Jack made at the thought that I wasn't going to drink the whole bottle at once.

I laid down flat on my side with my head on Joshua's lap; he put his hand on my head and stroked my hair. I looked over at Jack sitting there staring at me. He looked at me like he expected me to cry at any second.

The entire drive I heard them talking about unimportant things.

I drifted in and out of sleep. I kept on thinking those pills really were great I felt numb, I still felt the emptiness but it wasn't that bad I could work with it.

"Katie we are here sweetheart," I heard Jack say.

The limo had stopped and he was leaning over me. I opened my eyes and sat up.

I adjusted my sunglasses and pulled my top straight.

"I am ready," I said before they opened the door.

There were just as many people standing outside the police station as there was at the apartment, cameras were flashing and I heard people screaming my name.

I felt Joshua putting his arm under my arms almost supporting me. It felt like I was going to fall, my legs moved and I felt myself walking but I didn't know how I did it. I realised that he was keeping me up.

We got into the police station when I heard the noise disappear. The door had blown shut behind us and it blocked the noise outside.

"Come sit down here," Joshua said walking me towards the benches.

"No I am fine I want to stand on my own," I said my voice shacking.

He let go of me but he stood ready to catch me in case I fell over.

"Can I help you?" The police woman asked me politely.

"Yes I am Kate Roberts Scott. I am here for Dean Eric Sheppard and Alex...." I tried to say but I couldn't continue.

Jack stepped up and spoke further.

The police woman called someone standing at the back in one of the offices.

He came out holding a file, he was a friendly man he held his hand out to each of us and shook it introducing himself.

"Kate my name is detective Andrews," he said.

I shook his hand and nodded.

"Follow me please," he said showing us to an office at the back of the station.

I sat down and Joshua and Jack sat either side of me.

Joshua held my hand and watched me like a hawk. I took off the glasses and looked over at the detective there was a mirror behind him and I saw my reflection. The eyes looking back at me were not my own. The person in the mirror had no expression on her face; she had dark black rings under her eyes. Her eyes were red and sad.

I quickly looked away and tried to concentrate on the detective.

"Firstly Mrs Scott I am so sorry for your loss," he started.

"Katie-" I interrupted.

"Katie the car..." he said pulling out photos of the wreckage, he put the photos in front of me.

"Is this your car?" He asked.

I nodded still showing no emotion.

The car was burnt and bend in all directions but I could still recognise it. He pulled out photos of possessions or what was left of them and asked me if I recognised it.

I nodded.

I didn't cry I was too numb I just went through the motions the best I could. He put all the photos back into the folder and looked at me.

"I want to see them," I said softly to him.

"Katie that is not possible," he said.

"I want to see my friends I need to make sure it was them I just need to see them,"

I demanded.

The detective sighed and looked at me his eyes were so kind, I could see those eyes had seen allot of heart ache.

He pushed his lips together, I could see he was struggling to find the right words to use.

"Your friends were on the road when it was still very dark outside. The truck driver lost control; it was a head on collision. Either the car or the truck caught alight, we aren't sure yet which one but the car and half of the truck burned out. There isn't much left of your friends to show you," he explained calmly watching my face. "They died on impact?" I asked softly almost in a whisper.

"Yes," he assured me also speaking softly to match my tone.

I sat there for a few seconds staring at him and then I got up, I straightened my pants and asked him in a firm voice, "is there anything else?"

Everyone jumped up at once.

"No this is an open and closed case, Mr Sheppard's parents will be here this afternoon and they said they will take over and collect his personal belongings, we have also notified Mr Addison's parents," he said.

I held out my hand and greeted him, took my glasses from his table and put them on. "Very well then," I said and I turned and walked out of the room, Jack ran after me.

I was ready to storm out of the police station. I didn't care about the people waiting outside.

Just as I put my hand on the door he grabbed my arm and pulled me back quickly. "Katie please," he said firmly and unsure.

"I am sorry I wasn't thinking," I said in a whisper.

"Where is Joshua?" I asked noticing that he wasn't there with us.

"He is speaking to the detective."

But then I saw him walking down the passage, he was almost in a slow run to get to me.

We walked out though the sea of people and got into the limo with a lot less difficulty, we had a bodyguard and a couple of police officers helping us.

When we got into the car Jack's phone started ringing.

"Break the story it won't make a difference now, no one is even going to worry about it," he said putting the phone down.

I lied down again on Joshua's lap.

I heard them talking about the woman and the photos but I drifted off before I could hear everything. I didn't care it was unimportant.

### Chapter 34

I was in a big room it had blood red walls it looked like a warehouse. At the back someone was sitting on a chair but I couldn't make out who it was. I walked closer but the faster I walked, the further the image of this person moved. I stopped running and stood still.

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, I turned around it was Dean smiling at me. I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me.

"I need you to see something," he said walking with me towards the person in the chair.

It was Joshua sitting in the chair he hadn't shaved in days; he was smoking a cigarette looking out in front him.

He was sad again he looked almost like me in the mirror in the police station. I frowned and looked over at Dean. He smiled a sweet smile and put his hand on my face.

"You need to be okay, you need to get over your pain," he explained

"But you are my best friend I am going to miss you so much, I need you," I said crying.

"You are heading down a dangerous path it's not the medication making you numb, its you," he said still smiling at me.

I cried and closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes again, I was sitting on a bench overlooking the sea. The waves broke at my feet.

He was standing next to me, he had his hands in his pockets he threw his head back and laughed.

He took a deep breath and said, "isn't this just amazing? Sunrise, the smell of the beach the cold breeze on your face."

I looked at him and started smiling, he turned to me.

"Let someone in Katie, you need to let someone in," he said smiling at me, I felt him taking my hand.

I looked down at his hand and started crying again, when will I ever hold his hand again? Never.

When will I ever see him smiling or hear him laughing again? Never. He was dead and I was alone. I looked up at him; he leaned in and kissed me softly on my forehead.

"I will always be with you, always."

And then he was gone, I woke up the tears were running down my face onto Joshua's lap, I realised that I had been crying in my sleep.

I sat up and looked out the window; I couldn't see anything familiar so I assumed we weren't close to home yet.

I turned to him and looked at his face.

I got onto his lap and put my head on his shoulder. I held on to him with both arms and just sighed. He turned his head and kissed me softly on my forehead.

"I will always be here, you will be okay," he said softly.

I pulled him closer to me and buried my face in his neck. I cried again, he held me tightly rubbing his hand up and down my back.

We got home Joshua gave me two more pills and I went to bed. I fell asleep remarkably fast. He wasn't back in my dream I thought he might be there again but he wasn't.

The next couple of days I woke up and walked through the apartment like a zombie. I continued with the medication and it made me feel like I could cope.

I showered, tried to eat but never got the food down my throat and got back into bed. I would sometimes wake up with Joshua lying next to me and other days I would hear him in the lounge watching TV. I hardly spoke to anyone, I never answered the phone.

The morning of the funeral, I woke up and saw that there was a three quarter black dress hanging on the closet door. Someone had bought me a dress to wear to the funeral because it still had tags on and it was my size.

I climbed in the shower and washed my hair. When I got out I wrapped a towel around me and walked towards the room Joshua was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hi," I said softly looking at him unsure.

"Hi pretty girl," he said softly.

"You need to eat something, you haven't managed to eat in two days," he said worried.

"I am not hungry," I said softly rubbing my stomach.

He sighed and got up.

"Please I need you to eat something even if it's just a piece of toast," he pleaded as he walked up to me.

I nodded; he took my hand and led me out to the kitchen.

He had made toast and buttered it for me. I didn't know when he learned to make food because he had made bacon and a couple of other things as well.

I took the slice of toast and ate it slowly.

He poured me a cup of coffee and put it in front of me. He got out the medication and put it next to the mug.

"No pills," I said pushing away the bottle.

He nodded and put it away.

I ate the toast and drank the coffee.

"I know this is the stupidest question ever but I need to know. How are you feeling?" He asked.

I could hear the caution in his voice. I looked at him and realised that he was sad too. He had been keeping everything afloat and he had been supporting me looking after me for days. He never left the apartment.

I hardly spoke to him but yet he was there, when I cried he would come from where ever he was to hold me. I hadn't once asked him if he was okay.

"I will be just fine," I said managing a smile.

A look of relief washed over his face. He walked towards me and held me I could feel his chest move he was fighting not to cry.

"I was so worried about you. I can't bring him back I can't make the pain better, I watched you slipping and I was so worried that I couldn't do anything to help you," he explained.

"I am so sorry, I was selfish I just couldn't bear being awake, I just wanted to escape... I love you," I said kissing him softly on his lips.

It felt safe and right again being in his arms kissing him.

### Chapter 35

The funeral was breath taking, it was just the way Dean and Alex would have liked it. Their families decided to bury the remains together in one grave.

"Fare well my friends," I said softly as I threw the white rose I had in my hands on the coffin.

I felt Joshua squeeze my hand.

I looked up at him through my dark sunglasses and managed to smile at him. He smiled back still with a concerned look on his face.

Everybody had left the grave site but us.

I got down on my knees and started talking to this open grave, there were men waiting for me to finish before they would cover it with sand.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Joshua's legs move as he stepped back so I could have my last private moment with my friends.

I just started talking almost pretending that they could hear me.

"I have been pretty pathetic the last couple of days, I have just lost my way and the will to live. I have mourned, grieved and cried my heart out.

I am going to miss you two so much I don't know how my life will be now that you are gone. I luckily have Joshua to help me, he has tried his best with me but I just couldn't manage to let him in. Ironically that is what you told me to do the last time I saw you in my dream. I want you to rest now; I will be just fine I have him.

I just don't know how I am going to fill this emptiness I feel. I know everyone keeps telling me it will get better. I am going to try, I am going to try for the two of you. I love you my sweet friends and I will always remember you," I promised wiping away the tears.

I got up and took a photo of us sitting on the bonnet of my red car out of my clutch bag; it was from a trip we took to the beach once. I threw it on the coffin.

I looked over to the men waiting to cover the grave and nodded.

"Are you ready to go?" I heard Joshua asking me.

"Yes I want to go home now," I said putting out my hand for his.

We walked slowly between the graves to the limo.

I looked at all the grave stones there were allot of sadness there peoples wives, husbands, children, parents. I tried to read as many of them as I went along thinking that my friends were not alone, and neither was I.

The days after the funeral were difficult but at least it wasn't as difficult as the days before. I spoke about Dean and Alex allot because it made me feel closer to them.

I read some of the text messages on my phone and looked through old photos I had of us.

It's true that feeling does get better, it never goes away but it does get better. Joshua was now not only the best part of me he was now my best friend as well. I didn't have anyone to complain to about him but it didn't matter, I realised the little things that made me upset weren't important anymore. In a way loosing Dean and Alex, brought Joshua and I closer.

### Chapter 36

"We should get out of Los Angeles for a while," he suggested one day when we were sitting on the sofa.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked interested.

"Lets go visit my parents, you have only spoken to them on the phone, I think its time you meet them," he said.

"We are going to Vancouver?" I asked surprised and excited.

"If you want to, I just think we need to get away and you can then meet my parents and the rest of the family. It will do us good."

"It would be lovely," I said.

I looked down at my hands.

"I am sorry things haven't been back to normal around here yet. It's getting better though," I said.

"Its fine at least you are smiling and talking and eating now. I was so worried about you. The rest will fall back into place as you get back to normal again."

I looked up at him and smiled.

"I never want to wake up and know that I was never going to see you again," I said feeling sad.

"If I ever have to go, I will take you with," he promised with a sweet smile.

I took the mug out his hand and put it down on the table; I turned back to him and held his face in my hands.

"You are now the single most important thing in my life and I love you. I will always love you. You are my life," I said.

He put his hand behind my head and pulled me closer to him. He kissed me; it had been the first time in weeks that we kissed like that again. I wasn't perfect but I was better, especially being safe again in his arms.

That night I felt at peace, I felt happy again. I was going to be just fine.

I was lying next to him the next morning watching him, I turned towards him resting my chin on my arm.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked smiling.

"I wanted you to wake up, without me waking you," I reasoned.

He laughed and turned to face me. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose.

"What is on your mind?" He asked.

"Lets sell this apartment, lets move to New York," I said.

"I thought that was kind of the plan besides for selling this apartment," he said frowning.

"I mean lets box up everything, sell and get everything to New York while we are away in Canada. I don't want to come back here. Ever."

"That can be arranged if that is what you really want?" He asked concerned.

"It is, I want to go to New York straight after our getaway and start our new life."

He nodded looking unsure.

"So when are we going?" I asked

"Friday."

"But its Monday today," I said realising the short time we had left.

"Yes so you must be sure that is what you want," he said firmly.

"Do you think I am crazy?" I asked.

"No I understand what you are thinking."

### Chapter 37

We put the apartment up for sale; it was in the market for only a couple of days when it got sold. We had agreed on buying all new furniture so all I had to pack was our clothes, shoes and some other small items.

I had seen photos of our new place and I fell in love with it, it was much bigger than the place we had in LA.

The morning we left for Vancouver I looked around at the apartment I could see the dinner parties I had there.

The nights of drinking games I shared there with my friends. I remembered the night Joshua and I had sex there after we met at the bar at The One.

The memories played out in front of me like a movie. I sold the place with all the furniture so it was even more painful looking at everything, knowing I was never coming back.

Joshua stood in front of the elevator waiting for me; he saw the look on my face when I closed the door behind me for the last time.

"I can buy it back for you," he offered.

"No I want to let go of it, I just needed to say goodbye," I said kissing him for offering.

I got out of the elevator and out the front door of the building.

I looked up at the windows of the apartment I had lived in for so many years and smiled. It was over; I would never go back again.

I was very nervous when we landed at the airport. I had spoken to his parents and sisters over the phone but I had never seen them. I was afraid they wouldn't like me once they saw me. I wasn't exactly a celebrity but then again they weren't either.

It was just the thought of meeting the in laws.

I didn't know what they had expected for their son and brother. I somehow had a feeling of not being in Joshua's class even though I had money and I was a good girl from a good family.

His parents were waiting for us in the VIP lounge of the airport. They insisted on fetching us.

I saw his face light up when he saw them, his mother ran over and threw her arms around him, she cried when she hugged him.

"Hi Katie, I am Edward," a dark haired man said when he hugged me.

"Oh I am sorry Katie; I am Joshua's mother Elizabeth."

She too gave me a hug.

"This is the beautiful Katie? Son she is even more beautiful than you said, or of the photos we saw in the magazines," his dad commented.

"You really should not read those magazines," I said feeling shy.

"Yes its total rubbish Liz started buying them for the photos of you and Joshua. One day my boy was a single man and the next he marries a super model," e explained winking at me.

"Dad please," Joshua said when he saw me blushing.

"Lets get home your mother has been cleaning for days, she wanted to impress, you know," his dad said nodding at me.

"So Katie we have spoken so many times on the phone but how is the new novel coming along? Any chance that we might get a peek at it?" Liz asked.

"I am afraid it's not getting along at all, I started it and then my friends past away so my writing went a bit to the dark side. I am going to do a rewrite," I explained.

"Yes Joshua told us about that, I am so terribly sorry, sometimes the work you do while you are so emotional helps you cope.

I too wrote a couple of short stories in my day. I published two of them," she said proudly.

I never knew that about her, I was in a way very relieved knowing that we had something in common and we could relate.

The drive home was like being interviewed, they kept on asking questions it was nice answering the questions without wondering if your words would get twisted. It was almost like they tried to get to know my whole life story in only a couple of minutes.

The drive up to the house was breathtaking; they lived in a big white house with a huge front yard. There were big old trees along the winding driveway; it stretched almost a kilometre I imagined.

It was refreshing, coming from a concrete filled city to a place as peaceful and colourful as this. There were grass, trees and flowers something you didn't really see in LA unless you bought it in a pot.

"Your sisters are in the house they will be so happy to see you and of course to meet the new Mrs Scott. Be kind to Haley she is six months pregnant as you know and she is very moody. Isabel is going through a divorce so they might not look like rays of sunbeams at the moment but they are usually happy children," Liz explained.

She still referred to everyone as children. Joshua explained it once, they were her comfort when Edward had his affair, they were the only ones that kept her afloat.

He had fallen for her best friend and they almost got a divorce, they were separated for months but eventually they worked through their troubles and managed to find their way back to each other again.

### Chapter 38

We walked into the big old house the smell of cake lingered in the air someone was baking.

Haley and Isabel greeted us by the front door, I could see immediately by Haley's tummy who was who.

They were very happy to see their brother.

"Come let me show you your room, when you are settled we can have drinks outside by the pool," his mom said pulling me by the arm to the back of the house where the guest bedroom was.

It was a nice room filled with light, the bed was much smaller than what we were used to but we didn't need a big bed anyway. We use to sleep only on half of the bed. "Here is the closet, I made space for you, here are hangers. I will leave you to get settled," she said before leaving the room.

"So am I going to get divorced after the interrogation in the car and lets not forget the comments about your hmm body from dad?" Joshua asked walking towards me arms out stretched.

"Not even close, I love you and your family," I said reassuring him.

"Why don't you go catch up with the family, I will pack out the things?" I suggested. "Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded and gave him a quick kiss before he left the room.

I sat on the bed breathing slowly, there was nothing to it the family was nice I was stressed for nothing.

I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," I said looking at the door, it was Isabel.

"Do you mind if I come in and talk to you?" She asked as she walked in.

I never really spoke to her on the phone she was always busy, it was weird being in a room alone with her.

I didn't know what she wanted to talk about.

"It's about Josh, and you and your marriage," she said when she sat down on the bed. "Alright," I said hesitant.

"I think it's a joke really, you guys knew each other forty eight hours before you jetted off to Vegas and got married. I know you said that you guys had known each other longer because of the movie but face it; you didn't know a single thing about each other when you got married.

I know you have money so that wasn't the motive so I figure it must be the celebrity status," she said almost sounding angry.

I looked at her my mouth couldn't move it felt like I couldn't think of any words to say.

I couldn't believe the words leaving her mouth; my first instinct was to slap it shut.

"I love him," I defended.

"That I don't believe. I think he looked at you and decided this will do as a one night stand. I must admit you are gorgeous but I don't think this could possibly last. Do you have anything in common other than sex?" She asked.

I made my hand into a fist; I was just about to take a swing when Haley walked in. "That is enough Isabel, I think you should go," she said to her sister.

Isabel got up and shot me one last look.

"The lust will go away and then he will realise he married the help."

I got up ready to grab her back by her hair but Haley stopped me.

"Don't, she is just a bitter woman," she explained.

"Can you believe that little..." I said rubbing my hair out my face.

"Yes I can believe it she doesn't like you, not for who you are but because she wanted Josh to end up with someone else," she explained

"Who? A Hollywood actress?" I shot back never realising that my voice was raised.

"Well yes," she admitted.

"And the rest of you, do all of you feel the same?" I asked my heart beating a thousand miles a minute.

"Are you kidding me, mom and I have loved your novels from the first one you published. We bought all of them and read them from cover to cover in only a couple of days. When we found out you guys got married we were ecstatic. Dad said you were gorgeous and an absolute sweetheart over the phone. We were only upset over not attending my baby brother's big day," she said pulling me closer for a hug.

I felt better after she said that.

I was so taken aback at Isabel's nasty words that I was worried everyone felt the same, I was afraid she was just the only one who had the guts to say it out loud.

Hayley helped me pack away the rest of our things. She shared little stories about the baby and about them growing up.

It was nice to hear nice honest stories about him other than the stuff you usually read in the tabloids.

We left the room laughing at a story she told me about Joshua being scared of the tooth fairy when he was just a little boy, he thought that the tooth fairy came at night and pulled your teeth.

It was Isabel that told him that and when ever anyone spoke about it he would cringe. "Katie come sit here by me," Edward said patting on the chair next to him.

"Dad please," Joshua pleaded.

"Now Joshua we need to get to know this beautiful wife of yours," Edward protested. "By the way when are we having the big wedding?" Liz said over the open plan kitchen counter.

"We haven't really planned anything, my friends were going to organise everything, my one friend had an events company but sadly it never worked out," I explained. "Why did they realise this marriage was over before it even begun?" Isabel interrupted.

"Her friends died in a car crash a month ago," Joshua said irritated.

"Never mind her she is just sour because her husband lived a double life," Haley said sarcastically.

"This family is cursed," Isabel said rolling her eyes as she got up to leave the room.

"I am so sorry about her really I am," Edward said pointing at his daughter.

"So tell me everything about you. Where did you grow up? Do you have siblings? Your parents what do they do?" He asked not taking a breath, he was interviewing me again.

"Well I grew up in Alaska. I have one brother he is a paramedic in the army and my parents are both surgeons."

"A family of medical people, why didn't you become a doctor or something in the medical field?" He asked.

I looked at Joshua what I was about to tell him no one but Dean knew about me.

"I did go study medicine," I said.

I saw Joshua move in his chair, listening more attentively.

"Didn't you finish?"

Isabel walked back into the room again with a bowl of popcorn. I heard her mumble something under her breath, I just couldn't make out what she said.

"No I finished. I am a doctor too," I said softly looking at Edwards's surprised expression.

"But why..." He started asking.

"I was on call one night at the hospital I worked at and there was an old lady that came in she had been raped and stabbed several times. I couldn't handle the misery that went with the job. So I started writing and that took off so I gave up my job," I explained

"Wow you are full of surprises but why aren't you using your title? You are a doctor after all?" He asked moving in his chair.

"When I started writing I changed my name, most authors do that. I tried to make it so that my readers could relate to me. After all I was writing romance novels for teenagers at first so I used Katie Roberts instead of Dr Kate Roberts; the girls of that age would rather read the books if they thought of me as a girl next door, rather than a doctor."

He nodded; I could see he saw my point.

"That is very clever."

Isabel was till mumbling. Edward continued with his questions and I tried answering them as best I could.

Joshua did try a couple of times to stop his father but it didn't help.

After a couple of hours of getting to know each other, Joshua's mother called us for dinner. She had prepared a meal fit for kings she explained that she loved cooking. "I bet you don't cook?" Isabel asked me with a smile on her face.

"Actually she does, since we got married I have been getting proper home cooked meals," Josh said giving her a fake smile back.

"So tell us about the decision to get married how did it happen? I bet it was pretty romantic?" Haley asked sitting on the edge of her seat.

I looked at Joshua hinting that he must tell the story.

"I had asked her out on a date but she refused, she was at the time looking forward to a date with another guy. So I followed her on her date and I watched them, it didn't work out so I tried to wow her with Irish coffee at my place. It was horrible.

We spend the next day on set, I asked her to be my girlfriend and that night I asked her to marry me. We had some complications but then we flew to Las Vegas and we got married," he explained.

"The complications, was that the press conference you had?" Liz asked and we just nodded.

"My brother looked broken that day, but it was so romantic what he said about you on national TV," Haley said.

"That's not romantic that's idiotic," Isabel said.

"If you don't shut up this instant you can take your plate and go sit in the room and eat," Liz said widening her eyes at her daughter.

"I think it's romantic. You probably kind of regret marrying him. He is such a knuckle head," Haley said playfully.

"No I am glad; I love him he is the best part of me," I said winking at him.

"I like love stories, you should write a book about it," Liz suggested.

"I am busy with some drafts but I am unsure of the direction," I explained.

"Yes so am I," Isabel said.

Liz looked over to her and shot her a look.

"Okay I am leaving."

She picked up her plate and left the room.

I put my fork down and pushed the plate away, I still had a little bit of food left but I just couldn't eat it, Isabel had upset me. Joshua looked at me and realised what had just happened, he put his fork down and gave me a kiss.

I was a bit embarrassed it was the first time we kissed there in front of his family and everyone was watching us.

He whispered in my ear, "don't let her upset you, they all love you my sexy wife."

I was red in the face.

"Ah she's blushing," Liz said looking at me.

Joshua laughed at me trying to cover my face.

"You guys are such a nice couple, and Joshua she is really gorgeous," Haley said.

"I know she is breathtaking."

I covered my face again. Everyone was laughing at me because my face was red as a tomato.

"She's not good with compliments," Edward said laughing.

After dinner I helped Haley with the dishes, we insisted that Liz go catch up with her son.

"He loves you, you know?" Haley said looking down at the dishes in the sink.

"I love him too."

"He has had girlfriends here before but he hasn't ever looked at them the way he looks at you. When ever I phone him I could hear he is happy. He always tells me how happy he is."

"I wish Isabel would lighten up on me so that she could at least enjoy the time with her brother," I said sighing.

"She won't, her husband left her for a girl who is barely of legal age and she can't stand anyone else being happy."

I felt sorry for her.

"Where is your husband?" I asked.

"He is away on business he will be back soon, I am still waiting on him to tell me when."

"How's the pregnancy going?" I asked

"Its nice it's just my mood is a bit unstable from time to time, but we are coping. Are you planning on having kids?" She asked.

"We spoke about it and we both decided we weren't ready. We are still too selfish, I still want him all to myself for now," I said blushing again.

"Well when you are ready then you do it, don't let anyone try and make you have a baby," she said smiling at me.

"Are you girls nearly done? Your dad wants to play board games," Liz said rolling her eyes.

"Yes Mrs..." I started but I wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

"Oh please don't do that, it reminds me of my mother in law and I wasn't very fond of her. Call me Liz or if you want mom. And with Edward call him Edward or dad what ever you are comfortable with."

"Yes mom we are done," I said.

I saw her eyes lit up when I said that.

We walked out to the lounge Edward had already plucked out all the games he could find.

"We are playing in teams of two," he explained.

I walked over to Josh and sat between his legs on the floor.

"That's no fair she is an author," Haley protested when she saw the scrabble board on the table and Joshua and I were a team.

"I will play with you if you want?" I suggested.

"No you playing with me," Josh said immediately.

We didn't win the game but we came in second place. Edward and Elizabeth won the scrabble.

Later on we played monopoly it was Joshua's favourite game as a child so it was nice playing it with him. I saw where he got his love for buying property from.

Isabel's comments stopped after a while, when she saw how affectionate Joshua and I were with each other.

We got ready to go to bed when Liz came in with a stack of books. They were all books I wrote from my first one up until my newest one.

"Please sign them for me."

She scratched in a drawer for a pen.

"This one should work."

She scratched on the back of her hand and then she handed it to me. I opened the first book and asked, "what do you want me to say?"

She looked up at the ceiling and thought.

"I don't know say anything," she said after she couldn't think of anything.

"Oh and sign them Katie Scott please."

I smiled at Joshua.

"Mom she is Katie Roberts Scott."

"Okay that's perfect, sign it like that please."

'Thank you for the support mom, I love you. Katie R Scott.'

She was pleased with that, I saw on her face that the surname Scott was important and that she wanted me to sign my married surname.

"You are an absolute sweetheart," she said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"It's my pleasure."

### Chapter 39

I went for a shower before bed.

When I got out of the bathroom I walked through the passage to the room, I got distracted by the photos hanging against the wall.

I tried to get a look at them half in the dark. I laughed at some of them. Joshua pulled funny faces on most of them.

"He hated the camera he always acted up," his mom said from behind me. I got such a fright I made a little shriek.

"Oh dear I am so sorry," she said giggling at me.

"I didn't realise you were standing behind me," I said putting my hand on her arm.

We stood in the passage talking for a couple of minutes before saying goodnight.

I got into the bed, it was a very noisy old bed.

"No funny business in this bed for sure," I said laughing.

Joshua put off the light next to him and turned to me he put his arms around me and held me.

"What do you think of the family?" He whispered in the dark.

"They are really nice besides for Isabel everyone has been very kind to me."

"This family wasn't always this happy, you know about dad."

I laid on his chest and listened to the story, it was sad but at least it ended happily. I could hear that he was still very hurt by what his dad did.

I looked up at him and kissed him. He pushed me over and laid on top of me. The bed made such a noise that I started giggling.

"No funny business in the bed. But there are always other places and ways," he said raising his eyebrows.

I nodded with a smile; he got up and locked the door.

I put a blanket and a pillow on the hard wood floor.

We made love on the floor that night it was almost like the night at the club, we couldn't make a noise.

The next morning I was awake before everyone else, I left Joshua to sleep in.

I made myself a mug of coffee and sat outside in the garden at the back of the house. I sat there for a couple of minutes taking in the fresh air, it was so relaxing and beautiful outside.

As the sun fell on the leaves I could see at least four different shades of green.

The dew on the leaves made them sparkle in the sunlight.

It was also incredibly quiet out there; there was no noise and no traffic.

I moved the chair onto the grass, so that I could feel the grass under my feet it was an incredible feeling. It wasn't something you could explain to anyone it just felt so good.

I thought about Dean and Alex how they would have loved to see this place, although they are probably seeing more beautiful things now. I still had this feeling of missing them but I could suppress it more. Whenever I felt incredibly happy or sad I would think of them and I would imagine what Dean would say, sometimes I would just sit and smile for no reason. Joshua would ask me why I was smiling but I never told him, I was still grieving my friends and I didn't want him to worry. He understood but he too wanted me to move on and live my life as I would if they were here.

"Hey sexy girl, I woke up and you were gone," I heard him say.

"I wanted you to sleep in, you know there was a time where if I just moved in bed that you would wake up," I said smiling at him.

"Yes I know it was just because I was worried about you."

He pulled me off the chair. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

"What do you mean?" I asked frowning.

"After the accident, you use to get up in the middle of the night and then one night I was looking for you everywhere, I was ready to get dressed and look for you outside the apartment but then I found you. You climbed out the window and you sat outside on the fire escape."

"I almost don't even remember it. I just remembered that I needed to get out of the apartment I couldn't breathe. I was so doped up on the medication," I explained rubbing his face with my hand.

"I love you," he said softly kissing me.

"So we are the first to people awake?" I asked.

"No mom is awake she is making a pot of coffee and breakfast. Don't worry I told her you don't really like a big breakfast."

I rolled my eyes I wasn't going to make demands on people that I hardly knew.

We sat there I rested my head on his cheek; it was so calm and somewhat romantic.

"Good morning," I heard Isabel saying as she walked out.

She walked to the chair closest to the door and plunked herself down. We both greeted her but we didn't look at her. We all sat there in silence for a while when I got up to take my mug to the kitchen.

Joshua stayed outside with Isabel and I heard them talking.

"Good morning mom," I said when I saw Liz in the kitchen.

She put down the dishcloth and walked over to me, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning sweet girl, did you sleep well?"

I was taken by surprise at her greeting me with a kiss. But I also picked up that they were a very affectionate family.

"Yes thank you I woke up refreshed."

"Sorry about the noisy bed, its not exactly fit for newly weds," she said winking at me.

The blood rushed to my face again, I felt my face was warm.

"Its fine thank you."

"That was Joshua's room when he was still living at home. Did you know that?" She asked turning her back to me as she got the cups lined up for coffee.

"No I didn't know that."

"His father had to put burglar bars on the windows because he used to climb out the window to go visit his girlfriends in the middle of the night," she said laughing. "Really. Girlfriends?" I asked interested.

Liz looked at me and she saw I was very inquisitive.

"Alright it was actually just this one girl her name was Melinda, she was older than him but only by a year or two. Her parents use to leave her alone when they went away because she had school. It was a weird family the father was away allot and the mother looked like she was stepping out on a movie set everyday. So Joshua would climb through the window and go there, the house is only a couple of blocks away." Her voice went down to a whisper so that no one could hear her gossip.

"So what happened?" I asked interested.

"I was scared he was going to get her pregnant or something, boys that age and their hormones... So we grounded him but that didn't help, we had to put the burglar bars up," she said laughing.

"Did she brake up with him?"

"Yes she did, she found someone else I suppose. He was heartbroken, you know teenagers everything is the end of the world."

We both laughed

"Why are we laughing?" Joshua asked when he came in to the kitchen.

"Well your mom and I were just discussing the love of your life," I said playfully.

"So you were talking about you."

"No actually we were talking about Melinda," I said looking at his mother.

"Ag mom, why did you have to do that?" He asked frowning.

"I always wanted to know what you did at that girl's house late at night?" Liz asked "Nothing, mom we did nothing," he said almost like he was a teenager again.

I laughed; at his disgust it was sweet.

He got a naughty smile on his face, he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Maybe mom should rather worry what we were doing in our room last night."

I jumped off the bar stool and said, "I have to get dressed."

Liz looked at me narrowing her eyes and asked, "what did he just say to you?"

She was a very inquisitive woman.

"Well I said..." he started.

"He said nothing."

I put my hand over his mouth. She smiled at me, because my face was blood red again, she probably assumed it was something that I really didn't want her to know.

"You are going to be even more irritated with me son, we are watching one of your movies this afternoon," his mother said handing him a mug of coffee.

"Which one?" I asked.

"The Rising sun," she answered.

"I love that movie I have seen it a hundred times," I said excited.

"Does he watch it with you?" Liz asked.

"Yes he has no choice, he always hated watching movies that he was in but I think he got use to it by now," I said giggling.

Joshua just nodded; he once told me he had never watched his own movies. He also never bought gossip magazines.

"Doesn't it bother you to see the love scenes in his movies?" She asked.

"Actually before we knew each other, I had seen him in a love scene in a movie and decided he is precisely the right person to play the lead character in my book, that was around the time I was in negotiation for the book to become a movie.

"Anyways he played this drug addicted teenager in the movie and there was one love scene between him and this blond girl and I just thought this guy is brilliant, so I requested him for an audition. But now since we are married it drives me insane! I can see it on TV its not that bad but in real life like the last couple of days of filming it made me angry and grumpy." I was honest.

"Are you very possessive?" She asked but before I could answer Joshua answered, "she's not possessive just a little jealous."

He was right I was, when he and Wendy kissed I wanted to climb out the walls.

The worst part was; the love scene I loved the most in the book, when they acted it out in front of me, I had to get up and go outside for a fresh air.

### Chapter 40

We had breakfast outside that day, everyone was talking at the same time it was chaos but in a good way. I enjoyed spending time with his family they were kind and I felt comfortable with them.

After breakfast Joshua helped his dad work on his dad's car and I spend time talking to his mother and sisters.

Isabel wasn't snapping at me the whole time anymore she actually spoke to me, not much but it looked like she was trying.

When Josh and his dad was done with the car the family all got together in the TV room with popcorn ready to watch Joshua's movie.

When we laid there watching the movie, I could feel him cringe at some of the scenes, he was his own worst critic.

After the movie everyone discussed it and then his mom said, "I know you haven't had a proper reception for your wedding so we organised a cocktail Saturday night, we invited some friends and family over. I hope you don't mind?"

I looked at Joshua.

"No that's fine thank you mom," he said.

I could see he wasn't entirely happy about the idea but he agreed.

"Then you can show off your beautiful wife," Haley said.

"I don't want to share her," Joshua said smiling at me.

"I didn't bring anything for a cocktail, we better get to a shop," I said realising that a denim would not do.

"Yes we are going shopping later," Liz said excited.

She didn't need much of an excuse to shop Edward explained.

I had managed to find a short red dress, I rarely wore red but I had decided that I needed something different. I was nervous about the people who were invited, if any of them thought like Isabel did then I was going to have disastrous night.

"If I had a figure like yours I would go naked," Haley said when I asked if the red dress I had bought wasn't too short.

We were sitting at a coffee shop because our feet were tired and Haley was over powered by a craving for cake and ice cream.

"It's just till after the baby is born you will get into shape in no time," I reassured her. She just rolled her eyes while she put spoon after spoon of ice cream in her mouth. "How do you keep in shape Katie?" Isabel asked.

I was shocked that she opened her mouth, she had been quiet the whole trip.

"I don't know good genes I guess," I said.

"So you don't even exercise?" Haley asked shocked.

I looked shyly at my slice of carrot cake.

"No I get a proper work out."

I felt awkward because his mother and bigger sisters were sitting at the table.

"I don't understand," Liz said.

I gave a sigh smiling and thought, I was just going to say it, there was no point in trying to change the subject with them.

"I get a work out everyday sometimes twice or three times a day, I just don't have to leave the house do it."

"Do you have a gym at home?" Haley asked stupidly, I was about to settle on that when Isabel shot back, "don't be stupid she is talking about having sex."

Everyone including Isabel started laughing.

"I didn't want to say it out loud."

My face was red, I could feel it.

"It's fine, we are all girls at the table we will forget that Joshua is family don't worry," Liz said smiling,

"Look Katie, I am sorry that I have been such a bitch to you, my brother loves you and I can see that you are both very happy," Isabel said looking ashamed.

"That's fine thank you Isabel, all is forgiven," I said almost shocked.

She stood up and walked towards me to give me a hug. I got up and gave her a hug she whispered in my ear, "I was wrong sorry."

I pulled back and nodded.

"So tell us more, about you and Joshua do you guys ever fight?" Isabel asked.

"Yes we have disagreements but no we have never had a huge fight. I did how ever break his heart the first night we started dating. I broke up with him out of concern for his career, but I couldn't stay away so I went to his hotel room and I asked him to take me back."

All of them were looking at me hanging on my every word.

"It's probably difficult with the paparazzi?" Liz asked.

"It gets better, I have learned to manipulate them to suit me but Jack, Joshua's agent still gets a heart attack when I speak to them," I said laughing.

"I just love Jack," Isabel said dreamy

"Seriously you have a crush on Jack?" I asked almost choking on cake.

"She has always had a thing for him," Haley said.

"But I was married and then that didn't work out well either," Isabel said disappointed.

"I could always hook you up when you are ready of course," I suggested.

I could see her eyes light up.

"Isn't Jack coming to the cocktail tonight?" I asked Liz smiling.

"I don't know Josh was supposed to invite him," Liz said pulling up her shoulders. "Wait Isabel let me just phone quickly."

I took out my cell phone and phoned Joshua.

"Hi listen is Jack coming to the cocktail? Great... I will tell you later...No! I am at a coffee shop with your mom and sisters we are not getting into that now... alright love you too."

I put the phone down and looked over to Isabel pleased.

"Jack will be at your house in about fifteen minutes.

"We have to get me one of those sexy dresses as well I can't wear what I was planning on wearing," Isabel said sounding totally stressed out.

"What did Josh say that you said, you not getting into that now?" Haley asked.

"He was just being silly," I said.

"Katie please I haven't had sex in two months anyone who is, should share the details with me," Haley said ice-cream dripping from her chin.

"He said he wants to fit in a quickie before the people arrive," I said almost in a whisper.

I wanted to share with them, like one would with girlfriends but it felt awkward.

"I think Joshua has a sex addiction you should refuse him sex for a couple of days," Haley said.

"They are recently married leave them," Isabel defended.

### Chapter 41

We went back to the shops so that Isabel could get something sexy to wear. Everything she tried on I had to comment on, as per her instruction.

We eventually found her a dress she was happy with, it was a black strapless cocktail dress.

I looked around at the shoes and decided to get me a new pair of stilettos, I had this beautiful dress I might as well put on a nice pair of shoes I thought.

They were silver with ruby crystal beads. It was incredibly sexy and it looked nice with my red toe nails.

We paid and got into the car.

I wasn't aloud to go out without a body guard so we travelled around with a body guard.

I overheard Joshua and Jack talking about a couple of letters they had received from a guy that threatened to kill me. I never asked him about it because I assumed he had it under control.

The story of the woman that had threatened Joshua with exposing him as the father of her unborn baby Anna Milo, was also still lingering over us. We refused to pay her a cent and we demanded a paternity test. Jack was handling it.

We got into the house and went straight to Isabel's room we decided that we were all going to get ready in her room, she had a nice big dressing table in there and the room was big enough for all of us to get dressed in.

I put the things I bought down and walked around the house looking for Joshua. He was sitting outside with Jack.

"Hey sweetheart," Jack said when he saw me. He got up and gave me a hug.

"Hey I am so glad you are here I need to talk to you," I said sitting down on Joshua's lap.

"What can I do for you?" Jack asked.

"Its about Isabel, she kind of has the biggest crush on you and she wanted me to talk to you." I said.

"That's very sweet but isn't she married?" Jack asked confused.

"No she is getting a divorce," Joshua said.

"I don't know, won't it be awkward?" Jack said looking at Joshua.

"No its fine, just don't tell me stuff I don't need to know," Joshua said with a serious face.

"What, like you tell me?" Jack joked.

"You tell him about us, you two gossip like two girls," I said hitting Joshua playfully.

Suddenly I heard a scream come from the house. We all jumped up and ran into the house. Joshua grabbed me and pushed me in behind him almost like he wanted to shield me.

"It came! It came," Isabel was screaming.

"What is it?" Joshua asked worried.

"It came in the post," she said as she held up a magazine with Joshua and me on the cover.

We did the shoot a couple of weeks ago. It was incredibly sexy photos. I had never posed for photos before but I looked pretty good. We started laughing at Isabel's excitement.

Joshua grabbed the book from her and paged through it to our article. We looked through the photos together.

"Wow it turned out really well, look at this one it's my favourite," he said pointing to one where I was standing next to him with my hand on his chest he was lifting my one leg up against him, it was a sexy photo. You could see the clips at the top of my stockings.

"Hallo Jack," Isabel said embarrassed.

"Hi Isabel," he greeted her giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She grabbed the magazine from Joshua and left the room in haste clutching the book to her chest. I turned to Jack.

"So are you interested?" I asked him.

"Yes I am very much," Jack said smiling.

I kissed Joshua on the lips and excused myself to get ready for the cocktail.

Joshua was disappointed that he couldn't help me get dressed or should I rather say undressed. But I told him that he can undress me later.

Jack just walked out the room, when ever Joshua and I started flirting there was no stopping it.

"I am here lets do this," I said as I got into Isabel's room.

"What did he say?" Isabel asked eagerly.

"Well I asked him if he was interested and he said and I quote 'yes I am very much.' So yes he likes you too."

Isabel was so happy with that news that she jumped up and down trying not to scream.

We got dressed and I did my makeup and hair. I looked at myself in the tall mirror, the dress fit me like a glove it showed off everything I liked about my body. My legs also looked longer and toned.

I looked at the others reflection in the mirror. They were staring at me.

"You look fantastic," Liz said walking up to me; she put her hands on my hips.

"This dress was really made for you."

I just smiled, I hated my body sometimes but I did feel very sexy in that dress.

Isabel also looked great she looked younger and so much more happier, I hadn't seen her like this yet, I liked it.

The door bell was ringing now every couple of minutes I heard Edward open it and say that all the girls were still getting ready. He had spent the entire day getting the back yard ready, he put up fairy lights and tables for the drinks. He loved entertaining guests and it being our reception made it even more special.

He had started selecting music for the occasion days before already. It would be mostly piano music playing softly in the background.

"Is my wife ready yet? Some of the people out here think I made her up because they haven't seen her yet," Joshua said from outside the door.

Liz opened the door and walked out she told him I was ready and that we were on our way out. She told him that its okay to go in, she was going to go greet the guests.

He walked in and complimented Haley and Isabel.

Then he saw me standing there putting in my earrings he walked up to me.

"You look absolutely amazing; wow I don't think we will be attending the party." "You clean up nicely yourself," I said pulling him closer by his tie.

He looked so handsome.

"Let's take a photo," Isabel interrupted our flirting.

There were so many people already, I shook hands and hugged people I had never met before. Some of the people knew who I was because they had read my books, it was nice to talk to them, some of them even suggested new story lines.

There was one woman who told me that she almost got divorced because of my books; she wasn't giving her husband attention anymore because she couldn't put my books down. She explained she had read one after the other and on many occasions burnt her husband's dinner.

There were also people who commented that I should write a novel about my life as a celebrity wife. I just looked at Joshua and smiled. I joked that I had to kill Jack first because he wouldn't allow it.

Joshua held my hand most of the night he never let me out of his sight.

We got drinks and sat next to Isabel and Jack she had been begging me with her eyes to come sit by them, I assumed they weren't getting to a conversation topic so she needed us to lighten the mood a bit.

"Great night," I started but it didn't catch on.

"I have something funny to share," Joshua said smiling from ear to ear.

He pointed to a teenage boy standing talking to Liz. That was their cousin's son; he must have been about fifteen.

"Steve said to me tonight, Uncle Joshua you have a very sexy wife, I would love to spank that," Joshua said laughing.

"You aren't serious, what did you say?" I asked disgusted.

"I just laughed and said me too," he said laughing.

"He is just a kid Katie, he thinks you are his Mrs Robinson," Jack said laughing.

I looked over at Steve and thought if he was a couple years older I would walk up to him and smack him. He looked over at me and winked.

"Agh that is just wrong."

"I have to deal with thirteen year old girls screaming their heads off when they see me or that wacky one that took off her clothes at that premier. Remember Jack?" Joshua said trying to make me feel better.

I calmed down after a while; I tried to avoid Steve at all cost. I knew he was just a teenager with whacked out hormones but it was weird.

"Oh Katie everyone is crazy about you. I have been getting allot of compliment on my beautiful daughter in law," Liz said as she sat down next to us.

### Chapter 42

Joshua and Jack had disappeared into the study; I wondered what they were talking about.

I got up and walked toward the study the door was closed, I put my ear on the door to try and hear what they were talking about, but I couldn't make out a thing. Suddenly the door opened I got a fright, I immediately jumped out the way and stood against the wall next to the door, it was Joshua who had opened it.

It sounded like him and Jack were having a fight, the door closed again but Joshua didn't close it completely so that meant I could hear.

"Anna got the test Joshua its not yours, at least that is off our shoulders." Jack said thankful.

"That was never a problem. What is bothering me is this Evan thing, I can't believe you waited the whole night to tell me he is here following her," Joshua said angry.

"I wasn't sure, when I got that call just now Meg told me that he was here. We suspected it but we weren't sure, so tonight when she got the photos on the email, she phoned me and confirmed. That's why I asked you to talk in the study. I don't think he will really hurt her; we must just have the body guards follow her all the time. I will arrange for more body guards," Jack said reassuring Joshua.

Meg had been Jack's trusted personal assisted, the only woman to ever put him in his place.

"How am I going to tell my wife that someone is here and he wants to kill her, that he took photos of her and that he sent me those photos with her eyes cut out?" Joshua asked.

I heard him hit something.

"I know this is scary but we mustn't tell her, I don't want her to feel unsafe. No one will come close to her I promise," Jack said trying to calm Joshua down.

I walked away from the study my whole body was trembling. Someone wanted to kill me, what did I ever do wrong. I walked out and took a cocktail from the table and sat down next to Isabel.

She looked at me frowning clearly picking up on my mood.

"What is wrong Katie?" She asked when she saw my hands shaking.

"There is nothing wrong I am just cold," I lied quickly.

Joshua and Jack came out looking more worried than ever. Jack's phone didn't stop ringing, Meg kept on updating him on the emails she was receiving from Evan.

I felt bad for Isabel because his attention was not on her but on me and this ugly situation.

"Where were you?" I asked Joshua.

"We went out for a quick chat. Nothing serious," he said lying.

He kissed me on the forehead.

Later on I saw Jack motioning with his head that Joshua should go with him into the house again. I saw more and more security in the back yard.

"What is happening?" Haley asked as she walked up to me. "There are body guards everywhere."

I looked around and saw that no one else really noticed it. It was only the family.

Joshua came out and grabbed me by the arm so aggressively that I spilled my drink. "You need to come with me."

I tried to rub the drink off my leg.

"What is wrong?" I asked upset.

"Come I will tell you now."

He was dragging me to the study. Liz, Edward, Isabel and Jack were already in there, Haley followed shortly afterwards trying to fight of a body guard.

I looked at everyone's face they were panicking.

"Joshua what is wrong?" I demanded.

"That is something I would also like to know, I was having the nicest conversation with a guy by the name of Evan," Haley said.

My body went ice cold he was here.

"You spoke to him? Can you tell us what he looked like? If we go out now will you be able to show me what he looks like?" Jack started demanding her to answer.

"Yes he was very nice, why is everyone so up in arms about him. He told me he was a great friend of Joshua and Katie's. He said he just loved her," Haley said agitated. "Who is Evan, Katie?" Haley asked.

"He... I don't know who he is."

At first I wanted to say he is the man that wants to cut out my eyes but I couldn't. "He is a very sick man that wants to hurt Katie," Jack said.

I didn't look at him I just fell down on the chair; my legs just gave out from under me.

"We have been receiving letters from him. In the letters he always says that he loves her and that he was going to kidnap her. We followed it up but found nothing, no information nothing so we improved security, then we got a letter saying that he has found a way to get to her without us noticing. He had been watching her constantly. When we made it more impossible for him to get to her he started threatening her life.

"He had been sending us photos of her, he would cut out her eyes or colour her in with a red marker illustrating that he cut her throaght. He also sent us a video where he had a woman in a small dungeon like room he had her wear a wig matching Katie's hair colour and this woman had on one of Katie's dresses that he had stolen. He was beating her and raping this woman. He had his face covered so we couldn't see who he was. The police have been trying to track him down," Jack said avoiding eye contact with me.

I cleared my throat and said, "Which dress?"

I could feel the tears streaming down my cheek I was scared.

"The blue one that went missing at the dry cleaners," Joshua said softly.

I looked up at him, I was so angry at him and Jack for not telling me this.

"You didn't even tell me! You let me go out and you act like everything is perfect, how could you lie to me Joshua, how could you lie to my face?"

I stood up and walked towards the door.

"Katie you can't leave he is here, we are trying to find him," Jack said with urgency in his voice.

"You can't keep me cooped up here, if he wants me he will find me. I want to see this sick freak." I was shouting my whole body was shaking.

"Katie please," Joshua said holding on to my arm.

"Let me go Joshua."

I pulled my arm out of his hand.

I wasn't sure why I was so angry at Joshua it wasn't his fault but I couldn't help it.

"If you see him then you tell me, you don't tell Jack or Joshua, you tell me," I said looking at Hayley.

I didn't know what I would do if I saw him. When I got outside I saw that everyone was still having a great time, no one had noticed anything was wrong.

I looked around at everyone that I hadn't seen earlier trying to find his face, I didn't know what he looked like but I thought I might get a feeling if I saw him. A body guard came up to Joshua and said something in his ear.

"What did he say?" I demanded.

"He said that they swept the whole area but they couldn't find him, that doesn't mean that he isn't here somewhere," Joshua said.

He had that worried sad look on his face again.

"Katie please let's get you somewhere safe," he pleaded.

"I am not running."

"Can you see him?" I asked Haley.

"No," she answered, she was scared.

### Chapter 43

Every time I got up someone followed me. Joshua didn't leave my side once, even though I told him and Jack to leave me alone. I didn't want anything to do with them.

Isabel and I were standing talking in the kitchen; she was trying to make me see reason. I refused, I didn't talk I just stood there. I was getting some more snacks out the fridge. She had a very short temper so we started fighting in the kitchen.

When ever someone came in we would stop fighting but as soon as they left the fighting would continue.

"I am going to fetch Joshua, you are going to talk and you are going to sort this out," she said almost running out the room.

"Nice party," I heard someone say from behind me.

I had met this man earlier his name was Charlie he was Edward's brother.

"Yes it was."

"Where is Joshua?" he asked.

"I don't know outside I think."

I had turned my back on him. I just wished he would leave I had nothing to say to anyone at that moment.

I had a glass in my hand but I didn't know if I wanted to pour juice or water into it. My mouth was so dry but I didn't think I would be able to drink anything.

"Lovely dress you have on," Charlie commented.

"Thank you," I said being polite.

"You would look great in blue," he said softly he had walked up to me; he was standing right behind me.

My body went ice cold.

"Evan?" I asked softly.

"Have you been missing me too?" He asked.

I could feel his breath in my neck. I was panicking, I thought about screaming when I felt something sharp being pushed up against my back.

"We are going to leave calmly, no drama."

"Please Evan this party is in anyway so boring," I acted.

"You want to leave with me?" He asked surprised

"Yes," I lied.

I kept on telling myself to stay calm; I didn't want him to see that I was scared. I turned around so I was facing him; I looked over his shoulder at Joshua standing outside. Joshua was looking at me frowning. I looked back at Evan smiling.

"But before I go, I want you to kiss me I want to know it will be worth my while."

I made sure that Joshua was still watching me. Evan smiled a satisfied smile and kissed me. I felt something burn in my arm he had injected me, probably to make sure that I would not fight him.

I saw the panic shoot up in Joshua's face he knew what I was doing. He pulled a body guard by the arm and they ran into the house.

It all happened so quickly, I put my hands on Evans chest and pushed him away so quickly with all the strength I had left in me, he had no time to grab onto me. He managed to cut my arm as he fell to the ground.

I fell backwards and landed on the floor, I pushed myself up against the cupboard blood was pouring out my arm. Joshua got to me in no time. I saw that Evan was lying against the wall holding his chest the blood poured through his fingers. He had been shot. I didn't hear anything but Joshua's voice.

"She needs a doctor," he kept on saying.

I saw Liz and Jack's faces but I didn't hear what they were saying. Liz was crying she put a cloth around my arm. Then I heard her, "don't worry my girl you are okay, you will be okay."

I felt cold I started shivering. Joshua took his jacket off and put it around my shoulders. I felt him pick me up but my body was numb. My eyes caught the image of Evan laying there dead against the wall.

I saw how Joshua put me in the car. Jack was sitting inside the car he took me from Joshua and then I felt the car move. The entire time I heard Joshua and Jack talk but it was like I couldn't talk or move a finger to show them I was okay.

My eyes were open but I couldn't move them, I could see out the window, the car was moving fast.

My chest was tight it felt like my lungs couldn't to expand anymore to take the air in. My throat was sore like there was something stuck and I couldn't swallow it down.

The next moment I was on a hospital bed I saw an old man leaning over me, I assumed it was the doctor. At first I couldn't hear anything, everyone's voices sounded like they were talking under water. I saw gloves and needles I couldn't feel them injecting me. I didn't even feel it when they put the drip in. I did notice that it was chaos in the room.

Joshua was rubbing his hands through his hair. Liz, Isabel and Haley were also in the room they were crying. They all looked so panicked. Jack was pacing he kept on looking over to me.

And then it went dark.

"She was injected with some sort of narcotic; it looks like it was a high dosage. I put something in the drip to counter it. She will have to stay the night," the old man said. "Will she be okay?" Liz asked.

"She did have a bad reaction to what ever he injected her with. It looks like she went into anaphylactic shock. Also the cut on her arm was very deep, there won't be any permanent nerve damage but still she lost allot of blood. I will be here to monitor her all night," he said trying to reassure the family.

"When will she wake up?" Jack asked.

"She should wake up in a couple of hours, although she might not be completely clear on what happened," he warned.

"You can go I will wait with her," Joshua said.

For the first time I heard him talk. I heard them arguing about sitting with me in shifts but Joshua insisted on waiting, he didn't want to go home or get sleep.

Eventually everyone left but Jack and Joshua.

"I should have told her," Joshua said softly.

"No it was right not to tell her, if she knew it could have ended differently," Jack tried to reassure him.

"He could have gotten her out there if I hadn't kept an eye on her, if she couldn't show me..." Joshua said, his voice was soft but not calm.

"She took a very stupid risk leaving that room," Jack said.

"I want you to leave," Joshua said angry.

"Don't be angry with me you know as well as I do that she took it on herself by walking out there, we could have gotten him, without her provoking him," Jack shot back.

"Nobody could track him not the police not the bodyguards, they looked over him they didn't even notice him. She is in this mess because of me."

"She made herself obvious," Jack said again.

"Leave now!" Joshua said.

I heard foot steps and I presumed that he left.

"I am so sorry Katie, please just be okay."

He was sitting next to my bed holding my hand.

### Chapter 44

I didn't how many hours had passed, when I opened my eyes I saw that it was light outside. I looked down at my arm it had been bandaged up. I felt something in my nose and noticed that they had put a nasal cannula in.

Joshua was sitting next to my bedside; he was lying with his upper body on the bed still holding my hand. He was sleeping but he looked tired. I moved the hand he was holding, he opened his eyes.

"Hey," I said softly my voice was hoarse.

"Katie you are awake," he said relieved.

"Barely, is he dead?" I asked.

"Yes," he said squeezing my hand.

"I am so sorry," he started.

"Don't be sorry, Jack was right I went out and looked for trouble."

"You could hear us?" He looked surprised.

"Yes every word," I said looking away from him.

"It's my fault. I should have told you," he said.

"No it's not your fault its Evan's fault for ruining our night and for putting so much stress on you and Jack. Joshua if I knew what I know now, I would have still walked out that room and do the same thing."

"You have a terrible stubborn streak Katie; he could have gotten you out there. He injected you; it would have only taken minutes for you to pass out. If I wasn't looking at you through the glass door, he could have taken you," he said angry.

"That is not how it happened. I wasn't going to live my life looking over my shoulder. When I was plucked by the arm and pushed into the study with everyone looking at me like I was a pathetic victim I cracked. I am not a victim, I just decided this ends now. If he was going to find me and ubduct me it could have happened anytime anywhere," I said trying to get up.

"Just relax." he demanded trying to make me comfortable. He didn't want me to get up out of bed.

"Joshua I want to see the doctor, I want to go home," I said firmly.

"Fine I will call someone, just please stay in bed."

He got up and walked out the room.

I got on my feet and walked toward the window. My body was not reacting to instruction like before but it moved. I looked out over the buildings outside. I thought about Evan, the man who because of me was dead. He was sick yes but he didn't deserve to die. If he had gotten the help he needed he might have been normal.

"Mrs Scott, I see you are up," the doctor said as he got into the room.

"Good morning doctor, yes there is no use in lying around."

He directed me back to the bed. He checked my vital signs and said that everything looked normal.

"Can I go home?"

"Yes you can but please do take it easy," he said to my relief.

"Will she be able to travel? We are moving to New York in a day or two." Joshua asked.

"Yes she should be fine she should just not strain herself," the doctor said looking at me.

"Doctor I can manage from here," I said anoid.

"Katie I think you should go talk to someone, you had gone through a terrible trauma and you are going to feel angry, depressed or sad. I have noticed that you are very angry at the moment."

"Good observation," I said sarcastically.

"Thank you doctor, we will take it easy," Joshua said seeing that I was ready to fight with whom ever gets in my way.

"There is a bag in the cabinet; mom brought you something to wear."

I nodded and took the bag out the cabinet.

"I will go now, Katie look after yourself and if you need anything please contact me. A nurse will be in soon to take out your IV," the doctor said before leaving the room.

I wasn't going to wait for a nurse I just wanted to get dressed and leave. So I took out the IV myself.

Joshua looked at me shocked and horrified that I didn't want to wait for someone to help me. I knew how to do it so it didn't bother me. I got dressed signed myself out and we left.

### Chapter 45

"Katie you are home," Liz said when she greeted me at the door.

"Hallo mom, yes I am."

"I was so worried about you. So the doctor gave you the all clear then?"

"He didn't have a choice," Joshua interrupted.

"Can I get you anything, juice or coffee?" Liz said holding me around my waist as we walked into the house.

The family was in the living room watching TV. I walked in and saw Isabel sitting on the edge of her seat, the moment she saw me her eyes shot full of tears.

"Katie I am so sorry," she said walking towards me to hug me.

I put my uninjured arm around her.

"Its fine, I am fine."

Jack sat on the chair next to the kitchen he looked at me.

"I am glad you are okay sweetheart," he said.

"Thank you Jack."

I wanted to snap at him but I had decided it wasn't worth it.

Everyone took turns to hug me but Jack. I looked over at the kitchen to the floor, I don't why, maybe I thought that I would see blood. Everyone looked at me staring into the kitchen; I could feel the tension in the room.

"You are bleeding," Isabel said pointing at my arm.

"Its nothing, the IV was in this arm I think I probably hurt it when I took it out. I didn't remove the plaster first," I said without emotion.

"Why didn't the nurse take it out?" Liz asked shocked.

"She didn't want to wait," Joshua said.

"You need to rest. Come I put clean sheets on your bed, do you want to go lay in the bath for a bit?" Liz asked.

"I will in a minute, thank you. Where is my red dress?" I asked.

I knew someone had taken it off, I woke up in a hospital night gown.

"I must wash it dear," Liz tried to explain.

"I want to see it," I said.

"Very well but it's full of blood," Liz said softly under her breath.

"My own?" I asked. I couldn't remember if he bled on me.

"Yes dear," she said softly.

I nodded and walked motionless to the room.

I heard everyone started talking the minute they thought I couldn't hear.

"She seems so dead," Isabel said.

"She is just tired and probably still in shock, she will be back to her old bubbly self as soon as she has taken a bath and laid down," Liz said.

"She is angry at me," Joshua said softly.

"Why is she angry at you? You should be angry at her for being so stupid," Jack said irritated.

"She is my wife Jack and she just deserved honesty. I made her go out that room by lieing to her. It's my fault my wife was almost kidnapped and who knows what else."

"No Joshua it was my own fault," I said standing right behind him in the door.

"Jack you have made it clear that you blame me. I could hear you when you thought I was unconscious. You believe I am responsible and to blame for what happened to me. I suppose you think I am responsible for Evan being shot dead too? If I did things differently he might have still been alive."

I felt my voice going hoarse again.

"You feel sorry for that that freak?" Jack asked angry, he turned blood red.

"That freak had maybe a family, he was someone's son. He might even have been someone's friend. If someone gave him attention or loved him, he might not have turned into that freak."

"Let me tell you something about that freak," Jack said.

The veins in his neck were standing out now. I saw Joshua and everyone's faces looking at me like I was the victim again something was wrong.

"Jack please not now," Joshua pleaded.

"No you want to be honest with her, let's be honest with her. Your car the car that Dean and Alex died in, was sabotaged someone tried to kill you. It was just not planed properly because no one expected that you were going to borrow the car to Dean that night."

I felt my legs shake under me, I stood there searching for the words.

"The detective said it was the truck driver, he lost control."

I looked up at Joshua searching for answers.

"We don't know all the details yet but it seems that it was your car that caused the accident," Joshua said softly, he was trying to calm me by holding me against him.

"I killed Dean, Alex and Evan," I said in a whisper.

"No Katie that's not true it was Evan," Liz said.

She had tears streaming down her face.

"Excuse me," I said walking out of the room. Joshua walked after me.

"Please leave me alone."

"Katie please," he pleaded.

I closed the door behind me; I stood against it for a couple of seconds. I could feel him on the other side. I slid down against the door and held up my legs against my chest. I just started crying, all the emptiness everything came back in one instance. My friends- why did I let him take the car?

I was angry at myself for letting that happen. I should have died then Dean, Alex and Evan would still have been alive. Evan might have gotten help after my death and Dean and Alex might have still been here laughing, joking and having fun. They enjoyed life to the fullest and I didn't, my life was just one drama after another. They deserved life more than I did. I thought maybe if I could get my hands on those pills, I had used to cope when they died, that I could maybe see him again. Explain, apologise.

I felt the door move behind me he had also decided to sit against the door. He didn't speak and neither did I. I sat there with my head against the door looking up at the ceiling, when I saw him standing on the beach telling me to let someone in.

I knew that the images I saw of Dean wasn't real it was my imagination. It was in a way a type of coping mechanism so my brain wouldn't malfunction and I would go stark raving mad.

I took a deep breath and got up from the floor. I heard him also getting up. I stood there with my hand on the door handle, I had a choice I could be mad at him. The guy that loved me and tried to protect me. The one person who was just trying his best not to upset me before he had all the facts. The man that 'adored me' as he always said. Or I could just let him in.

In the time he had been sitting against the door with me I heard Isabel, Jack and Liz call him to sit by them but he didn't leave the other side of the door once.

Why was I punishing him, why was I punishing myself? Maybe I was meant not to get into that car for a reason. Was that image of Joshua sitting on the chair drunk unshaved smoking that Dean showed me, of how Joshua would have looked like if it was me in that car accident, if I had died.

I opened the door and looked at him.

"Joshua I need you."

His face was so relieved it looked like he was on the verge of tears. He took me in his arms; he lifted me off the floor. My face was level with his. He gave me the longest most passionate kiss, the kiss was angry, sad, frustrated but it was him, it was him kissing me. He walked with me still hanging in his arms into the room. He kicked the door closed behind us.

"I should have handled things differently," he said looking at me.

"No I should have," I said pulling my fingers through his hair.

"I should have let you in more, I thought that I had but I realise now that I didn't," I said as he put me down. I walked away from him and looked out the window. The fairy lights were still hanging outside. The view was still beautiful and perfect. I realised that nothing had changed in the time all the unhappiness happened.

Just like the morning I got back from the funeral. Everything was still exactly the same it was like nothing had changed.

"I want to tell you something, it might sound totally off and bazaar to you but I need to let you in," I said looking down at the windowsill.

He walked up to me and stood behind me, he put his arms around me and rested is head softly on my shoulder.

I told him about Dean and that I had seen him after he had died. I told him what Dean told me, the images he showed me. I told him about the conclusions I had come to.

"I don't think that's crazy," he said softly.

"If something had to happen to you, whether it had been you dieing in the car accident or Evan taking you from me. I wouldn't have had the strength to go on. I don't ever want to live without you."

We stood there for a while and looked out the window.

"Jack is furious at me isn't he?" I asked.

"He was just very worried about you that's all; he has come to love you. He says you are stubborn and stupid sometimes but he loves you all the same," Joshua said smiling.

"Do you think I am stubborn and stupid?' I asked.

"Yes I do, but I also think that you are brave and that you don't like people controlling or intimidating you. You are strong and that is some of the many qualities I love about you," he said turning me around.

"I smell like hospital and dried blood lets go bath," I said pulling at a strand of hair. "Mom tried cleaning off as much blood as she could."

"You look tired, it seems that I always make you look tired, stressed or sad," I said frowning.

"You are a hand full," he joked, he was smiling again.

### Chapter 46

"Don't get my bandage wet," I said as he climbed in the bath with me.

I held up my arm so that the bubbles didn't touch it. I picked up the shampoo and handed it to him.

"I think you should wash my hair."

He took the bottle from me while I dipped my head under the water, still holding my arm out the water. When I come up I heard him laugh.

"You looked so funny," he said imitating me with the arm in the air.

"Very funny just wash the hair," I said pointing at my wet hair.

My hair was long and I myself had a problem washing it sometimes because it was thick and heavy. I felt his hands move on my hair but I realised he wasn't managing very well.

"I have poured out about a half a bottle of shampoo already and still it's not making foam. I now know why we go through a bottle of shampoo so fast," he said frustrated.

I put my one hand in my hair and showed him how to do it. The injured arm was still outstretched so that I wouldn't get it wet.

"It looks like you are pointing at something, its distracting," he mocked me.

"Ah screw this," I said putting the arm in the water.

"You can't do that," he said trying to pull the bandaged arm out.

"Yes I can, I can always put on a dry bandage later."

I turned around and laid on his chest. My face was full of foam from the shampoo.

I was lying on top of him with my legs between his.

"If I don't take matters into my own hands I will never get my hair washed properly," I said joking.

He looked at me his face was serious, he put his hand on my face and kissed me. I put my hands at the back of his neck and moved so that I was laying with my face level to his. I felt safe again in his arms, kissing him.

"I should rinse my hair before it starts itching," I said scratching my head.

He smiled and put his hands in my hair making funny styles with it.

"You look cute, like one of those gremlins." He laughed.

"Ah that's nice I am glad you are enjoying yourself," I said rolling my eyes.

I tried to get off him when he grabbed me and pulled me back.

"I have never loved anything or anyone as much as I love you," he said his face was serious again. I smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

"I adore you," I said like he always said to me.

Every time he had said it to me I would feel loved and happy. It looked like he felt the same.

I tried getting dressed with one hand even though I had put the arm in the water it was sore when I moved my fingers. It started burning when it was in the water for too long.

"Let me help you," he said after he saw me battle.

"I thought you were going to stand there laughing at me, watching me squirm"

"I did for a minute, sorry I couldn't resist. But then I thought shame let me help her, before I end up in a cast."

He took my panties and let me put my feet through the holes; he was busy pulling it up when he said, "this is so wrong, I should be taking them off."

I gave him a smack against the head. He laughed and pulled them up all the way. I pulled them down a little so they looked right. He was standing on his knees he kissed me softly on my stomach. He moved up slowly kissing my chest my neck and then my lips.

He had already put on his clothes, I was standing there only in my underwear. We stood there kissing for a while. I moved my hand over his back scratching him softly; I put my injured arm's hand on his chest digging my nails gently into his flesh. The hand was so weak it didn't make a mark. I moved my other hand down his stomach into the front of his pants. He grabbed my wrist.

"You just came out of hospital," he said looking concerned.

"I know," I said pulling him closer to kiss me again.

He let go of my wrist. I felt him pushing me up against the wall.

"Are you okay in there?" I heard Isabel asking through the door.

"Can I come in Katie are you alone?" she asked.

"No I will be out in a minute," I said in a panic. Joshua put his face in my neck and I could feel him sigh.

"Okay I will wait for you here by the door," she said.

"I better get dressed," I said.

"Yes you better before my sister sees us having sex against the bathroom wall," he said joking but looking serious at the same time.

He got me dressed and when I opened the door she was standing there like she said she would.

"Joshua," she said nodding at him.

"Isabel," he said nodding back.

"What is up?" I asked out of breath.

"Nothing I thought you might have needed some help, oh you got your bandage wet. I will get you a dry clean one from the pack you brought home from the hospital," she said pulling me towards the bedroom.

Joshua stood there drying his hair.

"You made her get her bandage wet," she said angry at him.

"My dear sis I can't make my wife do anything, it was all her," he said smiling at me. "You stupid girl and you call yourself a doctor," she said shaking her head.

"I never said I was a good one," I joked.

"We still need to talk about that, you never told me you studied medicine," Joshua said as he remembered that he wanted to bring up that subject with me.

"I never told you because it wasn't important."

"Not important imagine what I could have done with that information," he said winking at me.

"Joshua for heavens sake there is no time for that, she just came out of the hospital. Behave yourself," Isabel said very irritated with the thought of her brother considering sex in my condition.

"I..." he started but he gave up.

I just smiled at him, little did she know that if she hadn't interrupted us earlier, we would still be in the bathroom making love, and it was me that started with it.

"There we go, all done," she said as she put the clip on.

"Thank you," I said rubbing my hand over the bandage.

"My pleasure, please don't get it wet again okay?" She insisted.

"I will try not to," I said smiling at Joshua.

"Are you going to lay down for a bit or are you coming to join us, we are going to watch a movie that's on TV in about fifteen minutes?" She asked looking down at her watch.

I looked over at Joshua he pulled up his shoulders, indicating that it's up to me.

"I think we will join you."

"Great I am going to get chips come when you ready."

"Wait how are things with you and Jack?" I asked.

"After last night he was really stressed but he promised me a date tomorrow, we are going for dinner and a movie," she said excited.

"I am glad."

I held out my hand for Joshua's and we walked out with her as she explained what she was going to wear.

### Chapter 47

"Are you feeling better?" Liz asked me as we got into the living room.

"Yes thank you."

We sat on one of the sofa's together he pull my legs over him, I rested my head on his chest.

Isabel gave us a blanket and a bowl of popcorn.

The movie started off interestingly but I just couldn't fight off the sleep any longer.

I felt myself drifting off only half an hour in. I was listening to Joshua's heart beat him breathing in and out, that sound made me calm and it made me feel safe.

I woke up later, the room was dark the TV had been switched off.

I looked up at Joshua he was asleep. On the sofa opposite us Jack and Isabel were also fast asleep. He was lying on his back and she was lying next to him with her head resting on his chest.

I thought to myself they must have hit it off in the time I had been sleeping because by the looks of things, they almost looked like they were a couple.

I rubbed Joshua's face I didn't want to whisper his name because I was scared that I would wake up Jack and Isabel.

He woke up and rubbed his eyes.

"What is it?" He asked out loud confused.

I got on top of him and kissed him. I put my hands under his shirt and scratched his chest gently.

He woke up instantly; he didn't even notice Isabel and Jack laying on the sofa across us. As I kissed him I felt his hands move over my breasts and over to my back. He pulled me closer to him as I kissed him more passionately.

I moved my face so he could kiss me in my neck.

I heard Isabel give a sigh in her sleep.

I pushed Joshua away and said in a whisper, "let's go to bed."

He started kissing me again, but I pushed him away again and pointed at Jack and Isabel.

"Okay," he said.

I got up and folded the blanket we were sleeping under.

He walked towards the door. He looked at Jack and Isabel and asked, "what did I miss?"

"Go, you are going to wake them," I said in the lowest voice I could manage.

"Too late," Jack said.

"Sorry," I apologised.

They got up and also walked to their separate bedrooms. But before I closed our bedroom door I saw Jack sneak off to Isabel's bedroom, I just smiled and closed the door.

"Why are you smiling?" Joshua asked when I got into bed.

"I just saw Jack sneak into your sister's room."

Joshua just shook his head.

"I want to feel close to you again, I want to feel safe," I said in a whisper as we laid in the dark.

He turned to me and kissed me.

"I will love you forever," he said in a whisper while he was kissing my neck.

I could not have imagined what life would be like without him.

The bed was making such a noise that it felt like even if you had to breathe in that bed that it would make a noise.

He got up and took our suit cases off the single sofa chair standing in the room. He held his hand out to me.

I was still in bed looking at him. I took his hand.

He sat down on the chair and pulled me on top of him. I sat with my legs either side of him. I took off my shirt, with a lot of difficulty my one hand was so weak that I battled to a grip. But then I felt his hands, he clearly couldn't wait any longer while I battled.

"I am sorry," I said.

He didn't say anything he just kept on kissing me.

### Chapter 48

"Good morning pretty girl," Joshua said the next morning as I opened my eyes.

"Good morning," I said groggy.

For some reason I was dead tired after getting a proper night's rest.

"Why are you frowning babe?" He asked imitating me.

"I am just still so tired."

He gave a quick laugh and kissed me on the forehead. He moved closer to me and held me. I turned so he could lay in my back. I fell back asleep.

When I woke up I saw that the sun was sitting high in the sky it felt like I had slept twenty four hours. He was still lying next to me, but he was awake he was busy reading a magazine. The one we were on the cover of.

"Morning honey," I said looking and feeling better than earlier.

"She's awake, good morning," he said slipping back under the covers.

"I smell coffee?" I said looking over at his mug standing on the bedside table.

"Yes its mine, you can have some. There is no sugar or milk in," he explained holding it out for me to take a sip.

"That's awful," I complained.

"Okay I will go make you a fresh cup," He said laughing.

He kissed me quickly on the forehead and left the room.

"Is she up yet?" I heard Isabel ask.

"Barely. Leave her to wake up in peace," he said.

"Come in Isabel," I shouted from inside the room.

"Morning. How are you feeling?"

"Good, better than earlier when I woke up the first time. And you, did you sleep well?" I asked winking at her.

I was hinting on last night.

"I slept like a baby thank you," she said avoiding the subject.

"Why are you here Isabel?" I asked seeing that there was obviously something she wanted to tell me.

"We had sex, we had sex last night!" She said looking as guilty as a teenager doing it in her parent's house.

"Wow that was fast."

"Say you that got married within fourty eight hours after you started dating my brother," she hinted.

"Hey I thought we were over that," Joshua said when he got back in the room.

"I don't think you are going to like this conversation," I warned.

"Why what are you girls gossiping about?" He asked when he got back in bed.

"We were talking about me having sex with Jack last night. I still wanted to go into details, do you want to stick around to hear them?" Isabel asked smiling sarcastically.

"That's my queue to leave," he said kissing me on the cheek as he got out of bed.

He got out of the room as if someone was chasing him.

"Ah I still wanted some morning sex before he left," I said disappointed not realising I actually said it out loud.

"I am sure you guys can catch up later," Isabel shot back, looking somewhat irritated at me.

"How do you do it by the way, this bed makes allot of noise?"

I just pointed at the floor, the wall and the chair with our suitcases on.

"You guys have sex a lot," she said looking surprised.

I just smiled and pulled up my shoulders.

"Anyways back to me, I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean you don't know what to do? I thought you had already done it," I said sipping my coffee.

"You are slow in the mornings," she joked. "I meant to say, what are we now, are we in a relationship?"

"You had sex Isabel, I think its save to speak to Jack about it."

"I guess you are right. Its just I am not even divorced yet. But I couldn't help myself he is just so sexy and last night when everybody went to bed we pretended to be asleep and after everyone left we did some naughty things under the blanket."

She looked pleased.

"Isabel Scott Duncan. You are a grown woman," I said shocked "That said, why would you do such things with me and Joshua in the room?"

"Please Katie don't pretend to be so high and mighty I saw you and my brother in the kitchen the other morning, there was some heavy petting before breakfast."

"You saw that?" I asked chocking on my coffee.

"Yes and believe me it was weird he is my brother! You guys have no boundaries, giving him a hand job in the kitchen where anyone could just walk in.

I actually just heard the whispers and you giggling I never realised what really went on there, until I walked in and saw him resting against the cupboard with you standing against him with your hand down his pants, whispering in his ear."

I looked down at my mug I couldn't think of a lie to cover what she saw.

"Its okay don't worry I didn't tell anyone, but the image will haunt me forever," she assured me.

"So as I was saying, he was amazing. My ex husband was my first and only till last night. He was so gentle; he even asked me if I was okay while we were doing it. You see I was in a little bit of pain, he is so much bigger than what I am use to."

She wanted to continue but I needed it to stop.

"Isabel I am sorry but its Jack, I can't listen to this."

"Please Katie who else am I going to tell?" She begged.

I decided to sit and bear it, I didn't want her to feel that I didn't care but it was awkward for me. I smiled, nodded and wowed as much as I could.

### Chapter 49

After a while she looked at me and said, "thank you Katie, you are a great listener."

I just smiled, because I wasn't listening at all from right about the time she started going on about him caressing her breasts.

"Is it safe yet?" I heard Joshua ask.

"Yes we are done; by the way your wife wants morning sex," she said winking at me just before she left the room.

"Morning sex?" Joshua asked as he got on top of me.

"Wanted, let me say wanted again. I have never felt so creeped out in my life. I had to hear from start to finish how sex is with Jack. It's disturbing. Did you know they were feeling each other up in the living room last night while we were sleeping opposite them?"

"You are right, wanted," he said falling onto his back next to me.

"I knew that something was going to happen so its probably not that bad," I said gulping down the rest of my coffee.

"By the way you woke me up last night, I almost had sex with you in my parents living room. I didn't even see them laying across from us," he said smiling.

"Yes well maybe I should tell you, the other morning in the kitchen when we..." I tried to find the words.

"Oh that, yes that was sneaky," he said rubbing my thigh under the blanket.

"Isabel saw us," I said before he could get too excited and not bothered about what I was trying to tell him.

The colour drained from his face.

"Don't worry she walked in saw what was happening and walked out," I tried to reassure him.

"What did she see?" He asked shocked.

"Only the start," I said.

"Oh well that's fine. That wasn't so hard core anyways," he said as the colour returned to his face, he was laughing.

"Joshua I was busy giving you a hand job, in your mother's kitchen and you sister saw me," I said shocked at his reaction.

"At least she never saw me picking you up onto the kitchen counter, returning the favour," he said laughing again.

I just felt my face go red again. I pulled the covers over my face. He tried to pull the covers off my face, but I held on for dear life. We started playing in bed he tickled me till I eventually gave up and let him see my face.

"I love you," he said as he took my hair out my face.

"You love it when I blush."

"That too."

### Chapter 50

It was our last day visiting, we spent it having a BBQ. We spoke about Liz and Edward's plans to sell the house and sailing around the world. They had been meaning to do it since Joshua hit it big in Hollywood; he was the youngest so they wanted to wait till he got settled.

With Isabel's divorce they had to postpone their plans to help her get back on her feet. She had decided that she was going to open a flower shop, she had just not decided on the location yet.

Jack was moving in with us until he could get settled. Joshua was his only client and he was making a fortune off him so he didnt feel the need to stay in LA. He decided he wanted to move to New York with us.

It was difficult to say goodbye to my new family. They had been good to us and I got use to them. They promised to come visit as soon as our place was set up. Before they went on their big adventure. Edward had been sailing for years but when he came up with the idea to tour the world, he never imagined it would become a reality.

### Chapter 51

The flight to New York was interesting, Jack spent most of the time talking about Isabel. I could hear in his voice that he was happy but yet he was unsure if she would also decide one day to leave him.

Both Joshua and I tried our best to reassure him. But I could understand why he felt unsure. I couldn't imagine what he felt like the day his wife walked out on him.

"I just want to be half as happy as the two of you," he said.

I looked at Joshua and smiled because it was a very rocky ride on the rollercoaster before we got to where we were in our relationship.

Lately if I got angry at him or tried to ignore him and he thought it wasn't worth the fight he would just kiss me, and all was forgiven. I did sometimes try to fight him off but he was stronger than me so I just gave in.

"What would you think about me asking Isabel to marry me, after the divorce of course?" Jack asked Joshua.

"I wouldn't mind at all, if she makes you happy and you love her then do it," Joshua said.

I was still trying to listen for any details but I was too tired to be bothered. We hardly slept the night before and I was still running around packing ten minutes before we were supposed to be on the plane. With Josh distracting me every couple of minutes it was difficult to keep track. I woke up a couple of minutes later and heard no one was talking anymore. I opened my eyes and saw Jack laying on one of the sofa's at the back of the plane he was snoring already.

Joshua was awake he was looking out the window, day dreaming.

"You are awake?" He asked as I looked up at him.

"Yes I must have drifted off."

I was laying with my head on a pillow with my legs over his lap.

"You can sleep, we still have a couple of hours before we get to New York," he said looking at his watch.

"Are you not tired?" I asked as I sat up.

"No not at all," he said rubbing his face.

"Then I am sitting up with you. What do you want to do?" I asked as I snuggled in under his arm.

He didn't answer, so I looked up at him I thought he might not have heard me. He smiled at me, he put his hand on my face and kissed me softly.

"Joshua, Jack is sleeping only a couple of feet away."

"I just want to kiss you," he said rubbing my face.

"I would love that."

We laid on the sofa kissing for a while.

"You people should seriously get a room," Jack said as he came to sit across from us again.

I didn't even hear his snoring stop.

"Sorry Jack, I can just not get enough of him yet," I said winking at Joshua.

"Its fine, it's the same with me and Isabel," he said ignoring Joshua's face.

Joshua was happy for Jack and Isabel he just didn't enjoy the stories Jack shared with him about Isabel.

"I am glad you found each other you make her happy and I can see she changed you. I never knew you were human," I said to Jack.

Joshua just started laughing.

"Sweetheart I am human and she brings out the best in me, in every way."

"Enough please my ears are bleeding already," Joshua said rubbing his face.

Jack and I could not help laughing at Joshua's reaction.

"I have heard some things about you and Katie that I rather didn't want to know. I always thought of her as this innocent girl, but now I don't know so much," Jack said smiling at me.

"You two are worst than girls sometimes. The gossiping has to stop," I said looking at Joshua.

"Don't look at me, most of what he is referring to is Isabel's doing," Joshua tried to defend himself.

"You should really get laid more often Jack, then our sex life won't bother you and Isabel so much," I said.

"I am working on that believe me. I just can't perform under pressure," Jack said disappointed.

Joshua started laughing.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Every time we wanted to have sex there were people in the house. I have never spent time alone with her."

"Shame Jack is shy, who would have known?" I asked sarcastically.

"I am not like the two of you, besides I do think the two of you have an addiction. I have seen you disappear while we watch movies or at the BBQ. Then you come back and Josh is smiling from ear to ear. Aren't you worried that someone might catch you, doing it?" Jack asked.

"No," Joshua said.

"What would you do if someone was watching you without you knowing it?" Jack asked.

"Let them watch, besides who would do that?" Joshua asked.

"I don't know. I am just asking."

"Jack have you been watching us?" I asked playfully.

"No please no, are you mad?" He asked disgusted.

We just laughed at him. He got up to phone Isabel, clearly disturbed by our conversation.

### Chapter 52

We had arrived in New York around eleven o clock the morning. New York was absolutely breathtaking. The movies never did it justice. The Upper East Side was in short a different world. You could smell the money and power a mile away.

The people there were very society orientated and so were their spawn. The kids not even old enough to use alcohol were talking about stocks and bonds. They all had trust funds and the only thing that mattered was the size of it.

There were girls half my age wearing designer outfits and had as they called it product in their hair. It was definitely different there. Boys no older than sixteen walking with their arms around two or more girls at a time. You could hear them talk it was like they were years older than their actual age. "My father says..."

It was in one sense probably very lonely in their world and in another way it was the only world that they knew. The elite also did not believe in breakfast they had brunch. The people would dress up and there was no such thing as pancakes and a cup of coffee. It was buffets and bone dry Latte's.

If you got caught out wearing a dress by no one you were committing social suicide. It was a world with impossible standards. Or so I thought but these people loved it they thrived on it. The husbands would marry the wives their mothers chose but still have a mistress to ease the pain.

To tuck your kids in at night wasn't done, there were nannies for that. You don't have to clean or cook their was 'the help' for that. People driving you around, opening your front door even pushing the button in the elevator for you.

The only thing these people had to do was wake up look fabulous and attend social meetings. Thinking of it from that aspect made that life almost look fabulous and easy.

Jack and I were standing outside the apartment building one day, when I said to him. "Do you think it's a hard life?" Pointing at two teenagers dressed like adults.

"No I don't think so; I think it's pretty fantastic. Everyone wants to be them," he said dreaming.

"Yes but what about playing with dolls or sleep over's with your girlfriends? They are missing out on their childhood."

I couldn't imagine missing out on all the stuff I did as a child.

"Katie they have everything available at the touch of a button. Parties, drugs, alcohol, designer wear you name it. By the way they do have sleep over's they call it swarys. Besides, the trust funds and statuses numb the pain of a lost childhood," he said laughing.

"I think it's sad."

"No my dear sweetheart the only thing sad about the Upper East Side is if your dad isn't a Wall Street broker or a property mogul."

I could see that he was having fun with me, I also realised I might not adjust to life in New York as I fast as I had hoped.

The penthouse was fantastic. It had three stories, white marble, aluminium glass finishes. It had big windows for outside walls, we had a full view of New York.

The fireplace was the biggest I had ever seen. When we got there my boxes were standing in the middle of the lounge, it looked like it was lost in the big open space. "Do you like it Mrs Scott?" Joshua asked looking pleased.

"You did good Mr Scott," I said smiling.

It was breathtaking, the space was going to be a good change to my matchbox in LA. We didn't have any furniture or cutlery we had to still buy everything.

We at least got a bed out of a catalogue and Jack arranged for it to be delivered, he had to sleep on a blow up mattress till we could accommodate him with a bed of his own.

We sat on the floor of this huge penthouse drinking wine one night.

We had bought Chinese and two bottles of red wine. Jack was telling us about his and Isabel's plans.

They had decided to have a long distance romance till the divorce was finalised and then she would join him in New York. She had decided that it would be the perfect location for her flower shop and they would get an apartment of their own.

Jack and Joshua discussed the fact that Joshua wanted to take a year off from making movies to settle in New York and into our new life.

I would start on my new novel and it would be about friends lost and to new prospects. Life was fantastic and nothing was missing. I had taken out the stitches in my arm to Joshua's dismay and I was recovering from the trauma nicely.

The first morning I woke up in our new place was the best; it was ours we both started fresh in a new place. New beginnings were on the horizon and it gave me hope for the future, although a future in a plastic world like New York might seem difficult but I was willing to do it. I had everything I had ever wished for and more. I had a future with Joshua Edward Scott.
