

## Daughter Of Life

  1. # Jayne Amanda Maynes

Copyright © 2012 Jayne A Maynes

Published by Jayne A Maynes at Smashwords

All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

**Smashwords** **Edition,** **License** **Notes**

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

**ISBN:** **978-1-4659-4086-5**
  1. ## Dedication

This is dedicated to the memory of Lisa Empanada-Newell my Connie Carlson-Evans. The person I met online on December 13, 2006, but not in person until September 22, 2011. My best friend who stood by me all that time. One of the first people to affirm me as a woman even when I wasn't sure myself.

So many things have changed since that first day, a day I will never forget. The highs have been so high, it was like the world was ours, that nothing could ever go wrong. The lows so low they have been terrifying, unsure of anything and everything. Through it all you had been there to help me see just a little clearer, think things through more fully. There have been so many times you made me laugh until it hurt, and equally times I have cried hoping things would improve.

We have both been through so much together, we have seen so many come and go, always offering what ever support we could.

As Connie would say: I love you, sister of my heart. (Je t'aime, ma sœur de cœur. )

The cover is a picture of my best friend who stood by me through some rough times since the start of my transition into the woman I have always been inside. In many ways she is Connie to me, the voice of reason and Power. The Power of Life when I have felt to weak to continue.
  2. ## Preface

To be able to see the world in a manner that is void of prejudice and bigotry. Able to accept someone not because they fit our standard of normal, instead, just because they are. To be able to look at someone and let them define who they are rather than making a judgment based on preconceived notions and stereotypes of what society says they should be.

Connie set just such a standard, then challenged those around her to see things differently. She accepted a woman as someone who said they were a woman, the same for men. She surrounded herself with those she knew she could trust, those who had proven her trust wasn't misplaced. She in turn gained their trust by not judging on standards set by society.

Welcome to a world were things aren't always as they appear. Where acceptance is the rule rather then the exception. A place where people come first, and their differences don't matter. A place where a person is judged on their abilities, not their looks. Where skin color has no meaning. Religion is a personal choice, and shared only with those interested. A place where personal beliefs are never used to restrict someone, nor deprive them of their rights to express themselves in a manner comfortable to that person.

Prejudice has no place in this world and is never tolerated. Tolerance is the law everyone is expected to live by. Freedom of expression reigns supreme.

Welcome to the world of Connie Carlson-Evans, friend to the friendless, champion of the defenseless, icon of independence. Welcome to the world of freedom for all, where every person has the right to live their life in a way they feel is right for how they define themselves. A world where everyone has the same rights until they deny someone else of their rights.

" _Friends!_ _Those_ _special_ _people_ _who_ _are_ _there_ _when_ _you_ _need_ _them."_

" _For_ _me_ _they_ _were_ _special_ _because_ _I_ _didn't_ _have_ _many,_ _and_ _the_ _friends_ _I_ _did_ _have_ _most_ _of_ _them_ _became_ _friends_ _in_ _my_ _senior_ _year_ _of_ _high_ _school._ _Erin,_ _the_ _friend_ _who_ _had_ _been_ _there_ _the_ _longest,_ _so_ _smart_ _and_ _so_ _willing_ _to_ _accept_ _someone_ _who_ _was_ _different_ _from_ _what_ _most_ _considered_ _normal._ _How_ _many_ _times_ _we_ _hung_ _out_ _just_ _because_ _we_ _each_ _let_ _the_ _other_ _be_ _whoever_ _they_ _wanted_ _to_ _be._ _Judy,_ _someone_ _I_ _never_ _would_ _have_ _dreamed_ _of_ _as_ _a_ _friend,_ _one_ _of_ _the_ _most_ _popular_ _girls_ _at_ _school,_ _both_ _smart_ _and_ _pretty._ _Paula_ _or_ _Paul,_ _the_ _quarter_ _back_ _of_ _the_ _football_ _team,_ _and_ _the_ _best_ _car_ _mechanic_ _I_ _have_ _ever_ _known._ _Paul_ _and_ _Judy_ _were_ _an_ _item_ _throughout_ _our_ _high_ _school_ _days_ _and_ _into_ _college._ _Finally,_ _there_ _was_ _Chuck_ _(Charles),_ _better_ _known_ _as_ _Cindy_ _in_ _our_ _little_ _group,_ _Chuck_ _also_ _played_ _football_ _and_ _was_ _well_ _on_ _track_ _to_ _get_ _a_ _football_ _scholarship_ _from_ _one_ _of_ _the_ _big_ _schools._ _Looking_ _back_ _though_ _I'm_ _sure_ _that_ _was_ _because_ _she_ _was_ _afraid_ _to_ _face_ _herself_ _and_ _who_ _she_ _truly_ _was_ _in_ _her_ _heart."_

" _All_ _my life_ _I_ _had_ _been_ _interested_ _in_ _fashions_ _and_ _made_ _my_ _own_ _clothes_ _because_ _money_ _was_ _tight_ _and_ _what_ _I_ _thought_ _should_ _be_ _in_ _fashion_ _wasn't_ _available_ _until_ _after_ _I_ _made_ _it._ _It seemed_ _to_ _become_ _the_ _latest_ _craze,_ _all_ _the_ _girls_ _were_ _talking_ _about_ _how_ _such_ _and_ _such_ _a_ _designer_ _had_ _brought_ _it_ _out._ _I_ _didn't_ _think_ _anyone_ _was_ _stealing_ _my_ _designs_ _since_ _I_ _was_ _just_ _a_ _kid_ _and_ _these_ _big_ _name_ _designers_ _had_ _been_ _around_ _my_ _whole_ _life._ _No_ _one_ _ever_ _seemed_ _to_ _remember_ _that_ _the_ _latest_ _fashion_ _was_ _something_ _I_ _had_ _worn_ _six_ _months_ _to_ _year_ _before._ _I_ _noticed_ _though,_ _I_ _noticed_ _how_ _my_ _designs_ _seemed_ _to_ _always_ _come_ _out_ _within_ _six_ _months_ _to_ _a_ _year_ _after_ _I_ _started_ _wearing_ _them,_ _but_ _again_ _it_ _never_ _really_ _meant_ _anything_ _to_ _me._ _Now_ _though_ _if_ _I_ _were_ _to_ _see_ _a_ _fashion_ _come_ _out_ _like_ _that,_ _I_ _would_ _look_ _into_ _who_ _came_ _out_ _with_ _it_ _and_ _when._ _Wanting_ _to_ _know_ _if_ _they_ _had_ _the_ _design_ _copyrighted,_ _and_ _if_ _their_ _copyright_ _was_ _older_ _than_ _mine._ _"_

_Connie_ _Carlson_

The above is an excerpt from Connie's diary written the year she graduated high school.

" _Connie_ _you_ _are_ _not_ _forgotten!_ _The_ _world_ _you_ _created_ _is_ _still_ _the_ _world_ _I_ _live_ _in,_ _I_ _can't_ _imagine_ _life_ _any_ _other_ _way._ _You_ _opened_ _the_ _eyes_ _of_ _so_ _many,_ _yet_ _there_ _are_ _so_ _many_ _who_ _still_ _refuse_ _to_ _see_ _the_ _simplicity_ _of_ _such_ _a_ _life._ _I_ _hope_ _what_ _I_ _write_ _here_ _can_ _be_ _a_ _tribute_ _to_ _who_ _you_ _were,_ _a_ _tribute_ _that_ _will_ _last_ _into_ _generations_ _yet_ _to_ _come._ _The_ _world_ _is_ _a_ _poorer_ _place_ _without_ _you,_ _but_ _as_ _long_ _as_ _we_ _remember_ _what_ _you_ _taught_ _us_ _it_ _will_ _never_ _be_ _an_ _empty_ _place."_

" _I_ _miss_ _you_ _my_ _very_ _dear_ _sweet_ _friend,_ _I_ _miss_ _the_ _welcoming_ _smile_ _you_ _always_ _had,_ _the_ _hug_ _that_ _always_ _said_ _I_ _was_ _welcome_ _just_ _because_ _I_ _was._ _As_ _I_ _write_ _this_ _I_ _think_ _back_ _on_ _where_ _my_ _life_ _was_ _leading,_ _and_ _thank_ _God_ _every_ _day_ _that_ _he_ _loved_ _me_ _enough_ _to_ _allow_ _you_ _to_ _be_ _my_ _friend._ _"_

_Judy_ _Roberts-Collins_
  3. ##  Chapter 1

"Connie I don't understand why your grades are so bad," Mom said.

Report cards were out and I had three C's and four D's. Mom knew I worked hard with my drawings, but never understood why I wasn't able to find the time for my school work as well.

"If you can't bring your grades up, there won't be anymore of your drawing paper for whatever it is you need it for young lady," Dad said.

I had to be able to do my drawings, they were the only thing that mattered to me, those drawings were the kinds of clothes I wanted, and without them I knew I would never have the clothes I wanted. "What if Erin helps me with my school work, she's at the top of the class." I needed my drawings and I knew Erin needed somewhere she could be herself.

"Connie we want these grades up, if Aaron can help, then of course we don't mind," Dad said.

They didn't understand. Erin was a girl she told me she was and who knew better, Erin or everyone else? I was going to try explaining to dad again that Erin was a girl, but got a look from mom that said just let it drop Connie. Let it drop, let Erin be called something she's not because not everyone can accept what you can. I couldn't let it drop, but I didn't dare challenge the misconception at that moment. I needed the freedom that came with letting things slide that later would become of such great importance to me as to put me in positions of taking a stand, because I couldn't just look the other way.

Erin started coming over to help me with my school work so I offered to make her a wardrobe.

My sister Chris moved out leaving her room vacant with a large closet. Until then the sewing machine was kept in the coat closet. I begged mom and dad to allow me to turn Chris' old room into a sewing room so I could make some of the clothes I'd designed. Convincing them took work and I had to study very hard to get my grades up, if my grades slipped again the room would be off limits to me and my drawings would end as well. My drawings were my way of life, designing was all I ever wanted and several of the people I knew loved my designs.

Grandma told me if I ever wanted to make my designs for her, she would love to wear them around town so everyone could see, and she would be sure to let them know her granddaughter made them. Grandma always wanted to know what I had, she hadn't seen yet.

I went to great lengths to dress the few Barbie dolls I had in the designs I drew. Mom started hating how I pampered my Barbie's dressing them as fashionable as any model could dream.

"Mom, Barbie is the only model I have for my designs. She never complains and knows how to move so the clothes I make her always look their best," I said.

"Connie, Barbie is a doll. She moves however you move her. Honey I don't understand why you make all those clothes for your dolls, wouldn't it be more productive to make them for real people?" Mom asked.

"I don't have the material to make them for real people, and dad says we don't have the money to buy the material since I don't use patterns. I think he's afraid I would waste the material, for Barbie I use scrapes that aren't big enough for anything else anyway," I said.

Mom said she would see about getting the material for me, and if I promised I wouldn't waste it, she would see if some of her friends would be interested in buying some of my designs too.

My second year of middle school dad lost his job and wasn't able to find another job that could support us. The designs I made started paying for all my needs for material and a nest that was supposed to be for my college after I graduated from high school. As the finances for the house started getting tighter and tighter my college fund grew, and grew. Dad started drinking and looking for a job less and less, until he stopped looking altogether.

Mom didn't want to ask, but in the end came asking if I would be willing to let her use my college fund, at least until dad could find a job, and she would make sure it all got paid back somehow. She was working a job that paid her less than I made on my dresses and I had so many people wanting my designs, I didn't have a lot of time any longer to design new ones, which I found very frustrating, but I knew if we were going to survive, it would be because we chose to do whatever it took and I had a lot of designs I'd drawn over the years. I really didn't need to design any longer to keep all the customers I had in something new.

My customer base grew and it wasn't long mom quit her job to help me so I could keep up with the demand for my fashions. The money coming in was more than dad made before he lost his job, and that depressed him even further, the deeper the depression the more he drank, and the less he did to help around the house. By my senior year in high school my college fund was gone. Erin had a full wardrobe at my house and came over most days after school in the pretense of helping me with my school work, when in reality she came over because she could be herself at my house. She always offered to help with the house work and my sewing, so I agreed to give her the clothes I made for all the help she gave.

"Aaron I know you're at the bottom of the class, but you seem to always know the answers," Judy said. "I was wondering if you might be able to help me?"

"Judy I... you know why I am at the bottom of the class and you and all your friends seem to think I deserve the grades I get, for that reason. Why is it that I'm not good enough unless you need something? Why are you coming to me for help? Can't any of your friends help you?" Erin returned.

I looked at Erin and frowned asking why she wanted to be the same as Judy and her friends. I reminded her of the pact we'd made about letting everyone decide who they were, who they wanted for friends, and who they would seek help from.

"Judy, Erin didn't mean that," I said.

"I... I can help, I just get so frustrated the way everyone makes fun of me because I always spell my name with the girl spelling on my papers," Erin said.

"I don't understand why you do that, and it really isn't any of my business. I asked because if I can't get my grades up I won't be able to stay in the cheerleaders, I'm flunking and you're the only one I know who knows this stuff," Judy said.

"You could always come over to my house after school and study with us," I offered. "Judy, Erin and I study together every afternoon, then work on designing new clothes. I could always use another model for my designs," I said.

Erin gave me a dirty look, but didn't say anything to counter my offer. Judy looked at me and smiled, her mother was one of my best customers and several of her outfits were something I designed.

That afternoon Judy came over to study with Erin and I, and Erin wasn't sure she wanted to dress in the new dress I just completed for her. I insisted that she dress as herself, but let her pick out what she wanted to wear.

As she emerged from the bedroom and approached the dinning table were we studied, I heard Judy let out a gasp. I looked up to see what caused the gasp and Erin stood there in the new dress looking as pretty as any of my Barbie's in the outfit. Judy seemed to be tongue tied and having trouble breathing, just staring at Erin.

When she finally recovered her breath, "Erin you look..." still not sure she knew the words.

"I knew that dress was perfect for you Erin," I said.

Erin smiled and walked over to the full length mirror spinning to see how she looked at all angles.

"Erin I..." Judy started, again stopping, again failing to find the words she wanted.

Erin came over to the table and took a seat, not saying anything about having always felt like a girl, but her dad insisting she was a boy. She opened her book and started reading, waiting for Judy to say something before she embarrassed herself trying to explain. Judy watched her the whole time wanting to say something, but not sure what to say. She knew this was the same person from school, but this Erin was more confident and sure of who she was than the other Aaron was. As understanding of what she was seeing came, things started making sense. Erin didn't misspell her name, everyone else did. She knew who she was and no one wanted to accept her definition, they all thought they knew better.

"Erin I'm sorry... I had no idea... can you forgive me for not..." For not what? For not believing you even though the proof had been there the whole time. Judy never got the words out because she didn't know the words to say what she felt. Embarrassed? Yes but not the right word. Confused? Possibly, but that didn't fit either. What was the word that fit? Relieved? Definitely, but again not the right word.

Erin looked up and saw the emotions running through Judy's expressions. "I'm sure you didn't know Judy," Erin said offering a modicum of assurance that she was okay sharing this part of who she was with Judy.

It was tense at first, Judy not knowing what to say and Erin determined to just be herself. After about an hour of studying, I had it with how they avoided talking anymore then necessary. "Guys this is horrid. There is no reason the tension in here needs to be what it is. If you two can't start talking there isn't really any point to this, none of us are getting anything accomplished."

They both looked at me and broke out laughing. We started talking and it didn't take long we finished with our studying and I asked if they could help me with some of the dresses I needed to get finished.

We spent the next hour going over what I needed for the jobs I had, then went out shopping. While shopping we ran into Paul, Judy's boyfriend, and he insisted he wasn't letting Judy out of his sight the rest of the night.

He seemed to be intrigued with how Erin was dressed, but never made any reference to her, other than to let her know he thought it was cool she was so sure of who she was as a girl. He asked if she would be willing to assist him with his school work as well.

Erin agreed, but told him the condition was she was Erin when not at school and he never crossed the two. The first time he said anything to anyone at school about what happened after school, she would stop tutoring him and she didn't care if he passed or failed, she would never trust him again. Judy let him know she was in full support of Erin and she'd break it off if he did anything to hurt Erin.

The next day at school Paul and Judy came and sat with Erin and I during lunch. "Mind if we join you?" Judy asked.

I smiled and said it was fine with me, so Paul pulled out a chair for Judy, then sat between her and Erin. "I have practice right after school, would it be okay if I see you about five o'clock, that'll give me time to get cleaned up so I don't stink," he asked.

"That'll be fine Paul, we can help Connie until you get there so we aren't going over things twice," Erin offered.

Paul showed up at five minutes after five, only it wasn't Paul. I invited Paula in and told her we were all in the dining room leading the way.

"Thanks Connie, sorry if I make you uncomfortable being dressed this way," Paula said.

"Paula here you can be anyone you want to be. If being Paula is what you want, then please feel free to do so," I said.

Why did it seem no one knew how to be themselves around others? Was this world so screwed up they feared no one could accept them if they were who they chose to be? I never understood why so many chose to hide who they were, for me, I didn't care. I cared only that they be themselves around me. They treat others fairly in the same manner they wished to be treated.

Paula took a seat next to Judy and started studying, every so often looking around at the rest of us wondering if we truly accepted her for who she was at the moment. When she looked at Judy a smile appeared on both their faces that said they loved each other regardless of the circumstances they now found themselves in. Erin smiled and giggled inwardly thinking about Paula being willing to share a secret with us that in all likelihood would ostracize her at school, should anyone find out. As we all finished up the homework we had, Paula asked if we could go to the ice cream parlor for banana splits her treat.

I looked over at the orders I had and thought of the time frame I had given on when they would be ready. "I'm sorry guys but I can't, I have all this work to do and... I wish... I wish I could," I said.

They all looked at me and saw the desire to join them, but the knowledge that if I did I would never get the things done I needed to get done. Erin said she couldn't go either and before I knew it they were all helping me get the work I had done, just so I too could enjoy a little fun.

A few days later I had another friend approach me and ask if I would be interested in helping with a fund raiser for the local Pride Center.

"Connie, all the events are set but one. We were hoping maybe you could furnish some of your designs for the fashion show we want to schedule," Phil said.

"I don't think you understand what you're asking me to do Phil. I would love to help do a fashion show, but I don't seem to have much time anymore. Haven't you wondered why it is I don't come by much anymore?" I asked.

Phil looked at me not realizing how little I helped of late. "Connie I didn't know. I'd hate for you to miss this, Fashionista has offered us their catwalk for the show," he said.

Fashionista the largest fashion company in the country. Their fashion shows where legendary, and I was turning down the chance of getting my fashions on their catwalk. No, that would be crazy, yes I thought I had great fashions, but to have them on that catwalk...

"Phil can you give me a couple days to think about this. You know I've always dreamed of having my fashions on that catwalk, but right now I am so overwhelmed with work and school," I said.

"Connie the show is in two months. We need an answer soon. The fashion show idea was yours, and you're the only person we know who might be able to pull a fashion show off. Remember it will be on Fashionista's catwalk and that could mean big fashion companies could have people there," he said.

"I'll get back to you no later than Friday Phil. I promise," I said.

There was no way I would be able to have enough ready for a show, not with all the other work I had. Here was my big chance and I...

"Is something wrong Connie?" Judy asked.

Was something wrong? Yes there was something wrong, I had the chance of getting my fashions on the catwalk and I didn't know anyway of making it happen. If only dad hadn't lost his job all those years ago and when finding a new job proved difficult at best he turned to the bottle. My dad the man I so admired growing up and now a common drunk and alcoholic. How long had it been that he gave up finding a job? Four years? No, it was almost five years now. Mom did her best the first couple years to make sure we had a roof over our heads and food on the table. Then one day she broke, she couldn't keep going any longer, the strain of holding down two low paying jobs became more than she could handle. She came to me, "Connie I don't know what to do. Your college fund is..."

What was I supposed to do. I started paying the bills using my college money and it was now gone. Mom and dad managed to put twenty-five thousand dollars away for my education, and I managed to match it with what money I made selling my fashions to mom's friends, but now that was all gone and I was selling more and more of my fashions just so we could survive. Somehow dad always seemed to have his bottle and I never said anything because he was easier to deal with when he drank than when he didn't anymore.

I looked over at dad passed-out on the couch and started crying. It wasn't fair I was the one paying the bills and he didn't even care enough to try anymore. Erin came over and put her arm around my shoulder and just held me as I cried.

The tears slowed and Erin asked if there was anything they could do.

"Connie I... if there is anything we can do to help..." Erin said.

I thanked them for their concern and told them I didn't know what they could do to help. I explained I had been invited to put my fashions on the runway for a fund raiser, and they told me they would help so it could happen.

"Connie I..." Judy started. "I think I may have a way to make this happen. I know... we know what this means to you, we can see how torn you are and we want to help."

"I have no idea who Fashionista is, but the way you make it sound... if it's really this important, it will happen, and we want to help you make it happen," Paula said.

I started crying harder my friends wanted to help me with my career and I was scared. If I did this show would it be just locals who attended, or would there be representatives of all the major fashion companies there seeing I either could design, or even more scary, couldn't design. What if there were representatives from the major fashion companies and they thought I could design, what then? What would they do about my age, and that I haven't been to school for fashion design yet, and as things looked, never would. Would they still be interested, or would they say sorry Miss Carlson, but until you have your degree we just can't help you.

Erin hugged me tighter and kissed my cheek, trying to reassure me that everything would work out.

"Anyone up for a banana split? My treat," Judy said.

Paula and Erin helped me to my feet, and before I knew it we were in the car on the way to the ice-cream parlor. Erin told me everything would work out, she had faith I would do great in the show. Did I really want to do this show? In the ice-cream parlor we ran into Phil and I asked how many others he had lined up for his show.

"If you say yes Connie, you're it," Phil said.

I was it, this whole show was going to be mine. He didn't have anyone else willing to even try, sure there were others who took existing designs and made a few changes, but none of them were interested. My designs were the only ones that were going to be on display. I looked at Erin, Judy and Paula sitting at the table waiting for the banana split to be brought out and smiled. I knew I was going to do the show, and I knew that I could count on my friends to help me make it a success. I turned back to Phil.

"Phil I'm in. I have just the fashions to make it worthwhile and I have the models to walk the runway. Phil this is my show and I have to do it my way," I said.

He smiled and told me he had no doubt the show would end up the highlight of the whole fund raiser and he was anxious to see just what I had. I let him know what I had was both mens and womens fashions, some of the best I'd come up with. If things went well my fashions should be able to bring in five to ten thousand dollars. He gave a whistle thinking how he could use the money to help the community in their fight for equality.

"So what was that all about?" Judy asked as I joined them.

"I'm going to need your help to pull this off. I just told them I would do the fashion show. The show is two months away and I need models, both male and female," I said.

"Connie do you already have the designs your want, or are you going to have to figure that out still?" Paula asked.

I looked over at Paula and smiled. I had the designs a long time ago, designs I always knew were worth more than I'd been charging the customers I had. The problem I saw was finding the time to make the outfits for the runway. With all the orders I had it...

"Excuse me. Judy you haven't seen Paul have you?" Chuck asked.

"Why don't you join us Chuck? We're celebrating Connie getting her first show." Judy offered.

Chuck took a seat next to Paula and asked what we meant by my first show.

"Chuck, Connie loves designing clothes, and just agreed to show some of her fashions at a benefit in two months. We're celebrating her success in that show." Erin said.

Celebrating my success in the show? I don't even know if I would be able to get everything ready in time, because of all the work I have. Some of the outfits are going to be expensive to make because of the materials needed for them. And here we are celebrating my success with the show still two months away.

"Sounds like fun, but have any of you seen Paul? We're supposed to go over the plays for the game next Friday," Chuck said.

"Relax Chuck," Paula said. "We've got plenty of time. Right now it's ice-cream time, so either grab a spoon and join us, or if you would rather we can order another just for you."

Chuck looked at Paula, jumped up, and started backing away. He looked at the rest of us as though we were strangers, then turned and walked away. I got up and followed him catching up just outside the door.

"Chuck! Wait please." he stopped but didn't turn. As I walk up he turned to me.

"What was that Connie? What did I just see in there?" He pointed back toward the door.

"Chuck I don't know. I know that isn't the answer you want, but it's the only answer I have," I said.

"That was Paul wasn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, and no. Chuck, Paul told us he wanted to be Paula, we didn't ask him to be Paula," I said.

"If anyone else finds out he'll be off the team and likely the laughingstock of the school," Chuck said.

"So are you going to tell everyone? Chuck, Paul's been dressing like this for several years, from what she told us. She is still the same person inside she's always been, only the outside has changed, and tomorrow even that'll be the same as your use to," I said.

"This doesn't make any difference to you does it Connie? You don't see any difference between what Paul is in there, and what he is at school do you?" he asked.

"Chuck, Paula is my friend whether as Paul or Paula. No! To me there is no difference, to me Paula is who ever she wants to be, I just want her to be the best person she can be. Is that really so wrong? If Paul wants to be Paula, why can't she be Paula? She is still the same person on the inside," I said.

"I need time to think about this, okay. For me it isn't that easy, Paul is my best friend, the captain of the football team. To me he's the only person who hasn't treated me different simply because I'm black," Chuck said.

"That isn't true Chuck! I have never treated you differently because of your skin color. Chuck your skin color means as little to me as whether Paula is a boy or girl, it just doesn't matter to me," I said.

"You don't treat me like you do everyone else," he said.

"You're right I don't, but it isn't because of your skin color. I treat you different because you are different then everyone else. Chuck you are you, I treat you as I hope you deserve and if I'm wrong in how I treat you please tell me, so I can fix it. I don't treat Erin the way I do Judy. Nor do I treat Judy the way I do anyone else. Chuck everyone is different so must be treated differently," I said.

Chuck stepped off the main sidewalk into a shallow alley way asking me to do the same. As I stepped into the ally he asked me if it would make a difference if he was a girl instead of a boy.

"Chuck I hold my distance from you because of how you act around others. It's like you hate something about yourself, and see it in others and take your anger in yourself out on them for daring to be what it is you hate so much about yourself. To me personally no it won't make a difference, not unless it changes how you act in regard to others. If it makes you more tolerant than yes it will change how I treat you, I will be more tolerant as well," I said.

"Is the offer to join you all still open?" he asked.

I took his hand and we went back in. We sat around talking about the up coming fashion show and what it would take. Everyone wanted to see the designs I intended to show, so we headed back to my place, I got out my note book with all the formal wear I had.

I figured the timing was right to coincided with the prom, so why not do the show as a prom night extravaganza. As I showed them the drawings and talked about the idea, I knew this show had to happen, and not just for me. While the others admired the drawings I had for the show Chuck asked if I had anything he could wear to feel more a part of the group. I showed him the closets of my sewing room and watched as he started going through the clothes I had hanging there. Erin asked a question that took me back to the others, so I told Chuck when he found something he liked to let me know and I would see if I had it in his size, then went in to answer Erin's question. A short time later Chuck stuck his head out and said he found what he wanted.

I went back in the sewing room to see about finding his choices in the right size for him and started laughing.

"Chuck I don't have either of those in your size and quite likely never will," I said.

"But they're so cute Connie," he said.

I agreed they were cute, but told him they were for children. I helped him find something a bit more age appropriate in his size, then returned to the others. As Chuck emerged I watched as the others all watched him come toward us.

"You know if you're going to dress like that you should have a name a little less masculine Charles," Judy quipped.

Paula sat there staring and Erin got up and asked to talk to Chuck in private. When Erin and Chuck returned from their private chat Erin said Chucks real name was Cynthia, but she preferred Cindy.

Cindy it was. To our little group she was now Cindy. Our group now consisted of myself Connie. Erin my oldest and dearest friend. Judy someone who was willing to take a chance and learned to accept someone, just because they were. Paul, or Paula, Judy's boy friend, or girl friend depending on her mood at the time. And now Cindy, or Chuck, someone who feared rejection so much they had rejected anyone who didn't fit societies definition of normal. We each took a chance and we won friendship and trust.

**********

" _Connie_ _showed_ _us_ _how_ _to_ _live_ _without_ _fear_ _of_ _someones_ _difference._ _"_ _Erin_ _Barlow_

**********

The five of us worked hard getting everything ready for the show. I had one dress that I didn't know how I would ever get made because of the materials it required. The materials for that one dress were so expensive and none of the fabric stores in the area had it in stock, and couldn't get it, in time for the show. I didn't know what to do I wanted that dress in the show, but didn't see anyway of getting it there.

"Hello!" a man said.

"I have permission to be here," I said.

"I know you do Connie," he said. "I just wanted to meet you. My name is Jim I work for Fashionista," he said.

"You know who I am?" I asked.

"You're the designer for the charity show here in a few weeks aren't you?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say, yes I was the designer for the show, but did I want to admit that to this guy simply because he said he worked for the company hosting the show? I wanted proof he worked for them, I wanted to have some kind of assurance of what he wanted and why.

"Connie if there is anything I can do to help, all you need to do is ask. I've heard you have quite a talent and if I can help I would be very honored," Jim said.

If he was who he said, he might be able to help me obtain the materials I needed for the dress in time to include it in the show, and if he wasn't then knowing about the materials wouldn't really matter since I couldn't get them anyway.

"Okay Jim if you really want to help can you help me get some material for the fashions I want to include, but can't get in time through the local fabric stores?" I asked.

"What materials do you need and I'll see what I can do," he said.

I gave him a list of the materials I needed and how much of each. He looked the list over and rubbed his chin.

"This is quite a list. It may take a couple days, but I think I should be able to get them for you by the end of the week. Will that be soon enough?" He asked then continued on, "doesn't seem like you want enough of any of them for any outfit so you must be using other materials as well since these materials can't be used together from what I understand."

I didn't answer the last part of his comment about using them in different outfits because I didn't want to let him think I didn't know the materials I needed weren't supposed to be able to be used together. The thing is I did know they weren't supposed to be able to be used together, but I thought I had a way of doing just that anyway. It was going to be a lot of work, but I was confident if I was careful I could do it.

"Jim the end of the week would be fine, but the more time I have the better. There is still a lot to do to get everything ready, and this material will require a lot of hand stitching," I said.

He nodded that he understood and asked how he could let me know when the material got there. I said he could let me know through the Pride Center. I think he understood my caution about giving out my phone number or even my address, and said as soon as the material was in he would give them a call.

I got the material Thursday, one day before he said he thought he could get it for me. When I went in to pick it up Jim met me and asked if there was anything else I needed.

"Connie I really would love to help if I can. I've seen your work and I think you have a great deal of potential as a designer. To be honest Connie the only reason your charity got the runway is because they said you were going to be the designer for their show," he said.

I turned to look at him. "What do you mean I'm the reason? I'm just a kid," I said.

He smiled and said he understood that, but he had seen my fashions around on a previous trip through town and then noticed something similar come out on the runways of New York a few months later, so he started watching closely what some of the women around here wore and what came out there. He saw a correlation so started asking questions. Everyone he talked to here, mentioned me saying they felt like they were setting the trend because what they had in their closet soon seemed to be the newest fashion trend for the rest of the country.

"Connie whatever you put on that catwalk is going to be yours no other designer will be able to copy it without giving you the credit," Jim said.

"Someone has been stealing my designs? Is that what you're saying? That these big name designers are coming here and stealing my designs?" I asked.

"Connie I don't know, but yes I believe that is the case, I know of a couple designers that if you try showing the designs I've seen around town are going to file a lawsuit saying you stole their designs," he said.

"How could they do that? I drew my designs myself. I worked hard on those designs, making sure I didn't copy someone else. Now you're telling me I may get sued for making my own designs just because I'm a kid?" I asked.

"Have you got your designs copyrighted, or at least dated?" he asked.

"Some of them are dated when I drew them. Does that really make a difference?" I asked.

"Are any of them copyrighted?" he asked.

"I don't know anything about copyrights, so I doubt it. Most of them I do know when I designed them and also when I made them. I'm not in some kind of trouble am I?" I asked.

He laughed, and assured me that no I wasn't in any trouble, but I really should look into getting all my designs copyrighted, if only for my own protection.

"Connie if you can prove when you came up with the designs you have let out before this show, you can sue the designers that have brought out designs similar within two years of your design. All profits off those designs are rightfully yours," he said.

I had noticed the same thing that within six months to a year of me making something for someone, something very similar would be the next big craze in fashion. It hadn't meant anything to me because the designs were simple and I figured that maybe the big designer had come up with it themselves. Now I wondered though, what if they had seen my design and stolen it as their own. Was that really possible? Were some of the big name designers really that desperate, they would go around stealing other peoples work and claiming it as their own? What about the money involved how much money was there? Would it be enough to... no I made those designs because I loved making them. I got what I thought was a fair price.

"I..." I didn't want to think about it. I made what was fair to me, but what if these big designers stole my designs and then claimed I stole their designs, and tried to sue me for... I didn't have any money, mom didn't have any money. What would happen? Would we be homeless all because I didn't protect myself from someone who didn't believe the law of right and wrong should apply to them?

"Jim can you help me copyright my designs? I mean all of them even the ones I made for mine and moms friends?" I asked.

He agreed to help me protect my designs and promised he wouldn't try looking at them if I wasn't willing to let him. He gave me the address of some lawyers and said what they would do is photocopy my drawings along with dates if I had them, the work I had out if I had receipts of when I sold it to bring that as well and let them make photocopies of them, which would protect me should someone try suing me for any of them.

The next day I found myself sitting in the office of these lawyers, with them making copies of everything, all my drawings, all the invoices for the outfits I had made and sold over the last five years, everything that proved the designs I made were mine, not someone else's.

The lawyers seemed to be impressed with my invoices as each had a small drawing of what it was for, along with the date ordered and the date delivered. I didn't see what the big deal was I wanted to be able to keep track of what I made for each of my customers, so if they ordered the same thing twice I could let them know. Didn't everyone do it that way? If not why not? It only made sense to me. That way I could keep track of what I sold each outfit for as well so I didn't charge one customer one price and another price for another customer, unless the fabrics were different then the one with the more expensive fabric was enough higher to make up the cost of the fabric, but not much more than that.

Three hours and the lawyers were still making photocopies with the stack not showing much sign of getting smaller. When I asked how much longer they thought it might take they smiled and asked how on earth I had ever managed to come up with this many, different designs. I shrugged and said I didn't know, it just seemed natural, and I loved finding new ways of making my Barbie's look nice. After another two hours the lawyers finally reached the bottom of the stack of papers I had and were going over everything looking for dates on the fashions I had made for friends and neighbors.

"Miss looking these papers over if you are interested we think you have grounds of copyright infringement on several items here," the lawyer said.

"I'm not sure what that means," I said.

"It simply means that it appears that someone has taken your designs and copied them saying they are their own. Miss Carlson by law you have the right to sue them for all monies they received both in the past and in the future. In other words you could be due a large amount of money if it's proven that the design is indeed yours not theirs," the lawyer said.

"What would happen to them if that happened?" I asked.

"In all likelihood they would be discredited as a fashion designer and never again be able to sell another design," the lawyer said.

"In other words it would ruin them. I don't want to be the reason someones life is ruined. For all I know they may have come up with the design, and it just happens to look very much like one I came up with. I don't want to sue someone unless they try saying I stole their design, then I will defend myself, otherwise now that my designs are on record of being copyrighted I don't want to sue anyone," I said.

"Miss Carlson we could be talking millions of dollars here," the lawyer said.

Millions of dollars? Surely he meant to say thousands of dollars not millions, didn't he? Or did he? I didn't know what fashions cost I had never really paid much attention to it. I knew the outfits I intended for the runway were more expensive than anything I had made so far, but even at that I though the price I had given when I agreed to do the show was high. What if I was wrong though, what if it was millions like the lawyer said, did that give me the right to say I designed something someone else may have designed just because I did it first?

"No I won't sue someone for stealing my designs if I'm not sure they did. Even if they did I have thousands of designs there that they haven't stolen the loss of a few designs isn't that big of a deal to me, let them have their small victory. I won't sue unless they try to sue me first then I will go for a counter suit to prove I had the design first," I said.

The lawyers all looked at me as though I had lost my mind. They were sure the designs had been mine, and I wasn't going to do anything about it other than move on and forget them, unless the person who stole them tried saying I copied them rather than the other way around. As I left I wasn't sure I had made the right choice.

I talked it over with mom when I got home. Together we agreed perhaps I could have sued and even won, but at what cost to me and those I sued? Would it really be worth the money to get it that way. My designs were now safe and no one would be foolish enough to try stealing anymore if indeed that is what happened.

The night before the show I did final fittings to insure everything was set. As I brought out the dress Paula was supposed to wear on the runway everyone gasped. They stared with open awe that anything could be so beautiful. All the girls wished they could be the one wearing it. All the guys wanting to be the guy on the catwalk with the girl wearing the dress. Paula looked at me as though I had lost my mind as I approached her telling her I needed to get her in the dress, I still needed to finish a couple seams, but I needed her in the dress to know just where the seams needed to be. I put the last few stitches in and asked her to whirl in a circle just to be sure the material moved the way I knew it should.

"Connie I can't believe you want me to wear this dress. I feel so..." Paula said not finishing her statement as a whistle came from the door of the dressing room.

I turned and standing there was Jim staring at Paula, looking like an angel had fallen and he wasn't sure just when, or why.

"Do you need something Jim?" I asked.

He looked at me then back at Paula. "I... Connie I..." He came in the room further and stared from Paula to me and back. "Connie that isn't supposed to be able to be done. Those fabrics are so different it's supposed to be impossible to use them together. I have the best, most knowledgeable people in the world working here and any time anyone even thinks of combining even two of those fabrics they're told noway. I..."

I smiled inwardly knowing his people had never thought of doing what I did. Each of the fabrics were compatible with other fabrics, thus using the intermediary fabric was able to make it appear I had accomplished something impossible. As the fabric settled from Paula's spin I noticed one spot where the intermediary fabric showed through and quickly found the right thread and started fixing it. As I put the last stitch in he started looking to see just how I managed to do the impossible.

"I really did wonder about those fabrics and just what you intended. Now I know this industry is about to be set on its heels. The lawyers told me how long it took them to make photocopies of all your drawings, and also what you said when they offered to represent you if you wanted to try recovering the designs that had been stolen from you. I found it curious that instead of seeking justice you chose instead to give up what was rightfully yours because you didn't see a need to do otherwise. Seeing the dresses you intend to show tomorrow though it makes perfect sense as those fashions are a minor part of what you have to offer," Jim said.

"Jim I hate to ask this, but what can I expect tomorrow night? The way those lawyers talked there's a lot more money in this then I ever dreamed possible," I said.

"Well if you will allow me to invite a few people to the show I think you may just be in for a very big surprise. These fashions of yours are better than most of what is being shown on the runways of New York... no not just New York, the runways of Paris and the rest of the world. You have a talent that can take you to the top of the world, a place where anything you want can be yours simply because you want it," he said.

Paris? Did he really say Paris? Could this take me to the one place on earth I always dreamed of going. Could it be true I could live in Paris if I really wanted? Tears started running down my cheeks thinking the unthinkable. Living in Paris sipping champagne as the latest of my fashions came out on the runway, only to be bought at unheard of prices simply because they had my name on the tag. I clipped the thread and didn't turn I didn't want anyone seeing the tears running down my face. He asked if he could invite the people he wanted and I just knelt there not turning, but shook my head in an affirmative.

As he turned to go I stood keeping my head down fearing that all these people might see I was crying and not understanding the tears weren't from pain, but from the possibility that the biggest dream I had, might one day be realized simply because they were here to help me before the world found out who I was, who I hoped one day to be.

When the door closed Erin came over to me and asked if I was alright. "Connie are you crying?" Erin asked.

Was I crying no... yes the tears were there I must have been, but I didn't hurt. How had these tears gotten there? When did they start? Why couldn't I stop them? I finally looked up and everyone was looking at me as though they were concerned. They looked at me as though they could begin to understand the emotions running through me at the mere thought of Paris. The thought of seeing my... this girl who had been so poor she couldn't even afford clothes for her Barbie doll... name on the marques of Paris.

I tried to wipe away the tears only to find them back as fast as I wipe them off. I couldn't talk the words were there, but wouldn't come out. I felt so silly crying when I didn't hurt, but that didn't stop the tears, it didn't even slow them down. I didn't know what was happening. I agreed to this show simply because I wanted to help friends who needed the help, now here it seemed the world was being offered to me and I wasn't sure I knew how to accept, if it was. The conversation of a few days prior came crashing back in: "Miss Carlson we are talking millions of dollars that are rightfully yours here, and you're just going to turn your back on it?"

Paula sat down next to me and put her arm around my shoulders while Judy sat on the other side. "Connie we're here for you. This is your dream, but we're here for you because dreams can come true," Paula said.

"Connie we... if it weren't for you none of us would be here. None of us would be wearing clothes like this, clothes we could never begin to afford," Judy said.

I looked around at them. They all knew me. They all knew they could afford the clothes I made, so why were they acting as though they couldn't? Yes the clothes they were wearing were some of my best designs, but they weren't my best. My best was a dress I designed years ago, a dress I would never sell to anyone because it was so special. A dress that would only ever be worn by me and my daughter. By me on the day I married the man of my dreams. The man who so long ago, I had been betrothed to. The man who consumed every part of my heart. A man none of my friends knew anything about.
  4. ##  Chapter 2

As the time of the show drew near I started to panic. I watched as the people started arriving and wanted to hide. It was my name on the marque outside. I was the one who was the designer of what these people... people who were dressed in clothes I couldn't even begin to guess the cost of... came here to see, and perhaps bid on in the hopes of owning and adding to their wardrobes. The music for the show was new, never before heard anywhere. The composer never before heard of. The models, friends who had no real aspiration of ever becoming models. This was supposed to be a simple fund raiser for something I believed in and it was turning out to be much more than anyone could have ever dreamed. The people I saw coming in had money, really money, and they were here to see a totally unknown fashion designers work. To see a bunch of kids doing something they didn't really know anything about and all in the hopes of raising a little money to help those less fortunate than they were.

"It's almost time Connie. Are you about ready?" someone asked.

About ready? About ready to die? Yes most definitely. About ready to be embarrassed? I was sure that was going to happen just seeing all the people filling the auditorium. People of obvious wealth come to look down on a small town girl and laugh at her aspirations of being more than she was. The speakers crackled then the MC for the nights voice: "Welcome to Fashionista and the first fashion show fund raiser for the local Pride Center. All proceeds from tonight's show will be going to support the work of the local Pride Center. Our host and the designer of all you are about to see, Connie Carlson."

"Connie that's your cue," someone said.

My cue? My cue for what? I looked out the curtain and froze, these people were here to see what I had to offer and I turned cold. I shivered and wanted to turn and run. I walked out on the stage and stood there, looking at all the people. I knew what I was supposed to say I rehearsed it so many times it should have come out all on its own, but it didn't and I didn't remember a single word of what it was.

"I want to thank everyone for being here tonight. I'm Connie Carlson and I hope you all enjoy the show we have prepared for you tonight."

"If you are here expecting to see professionals doing what they have training years for, I want to apologize now because that isn't what you are about to see. Instead, what you will see are a few of my creations being modeled by some of my closest friends. The music for tonight was written for this show, again by a dear friend. We are a bunch of high school kids hoping to raise a little money for a cause we believe in. I hope you enjoy the show, here is our MC for tonight, Mark."

As I walked back off the stage the music started and the first of the outfits started out onto the runway. I wanted to hide, this crowd wasn't what I expected. This crowd was money! Not just money this crowd was big money! Yes I dreamed of showing my designs before people like this one day, but now? I wasn't ready. I was still just a kid not really knowing what life was yet. As the first outfits exited the runway there was an applause and the next fashions started out, the applause hadn't fully died out and started back again as Mark started giving the description of what the models were wearing. I found my way to the back of the auditorium and gasped.

I made each of those fashions on that runway, but never really thought much of them while doing so. Seeing them in the spot light was mind boggling, I saw fashions that defied description being worn, not by a bunch of kids, but models showing what they were wearing to the world. Models so proud of what they wore they glowed with pride. As the show wound down to the climax I began wondering what could top what I had already seen.

Paula walked out at that moment and everything stopped. The crowd stopped their applause and the world went quiet. Bruce came out on the other side of the runway and bowed taking Paula's hand and together they walked down the runway turning to give everyone a good view of how their outfits worked together. They were indeed the pinnacle of the night everyone knew the show was soon to end and held their breath as Mark told what each of the outfits were made of. As Bruce and Paula exited the runway the crowd stood as one. The applause was thunderous. I started crying thinking how much work had gone into the show and wondering if it was real, or just some dream.

I needed to be back up front with the models, but didn't know how I was going to get there. I was so shocked I didn't know if I would, or even could move. All of a sudden the spot light was swung around and I was standing in the only light in the house. Everyone was looking at me and I had no clue what to do.

I started back to the front of the auditorium walking down one aisle. As I went the people made room for me to pass clapping louder as I got nearer the stage. When I got to the stairs to the stage I faltered and someone grabbed my arm, steadying me and assisting me up onto the stage. As I got to the microphone I thanked them and turned back to the crowd. I knew I was supposed to say something, but what? What could I say that wasn't said by my friends on the runway. I turned from the crowd and motioned for my friends to join me on the stage. As they came out the applause again became thunderous. We stood there waiting for the applause to die down a little and I turned to my friends again and stretched out my arm. The applause again went up. As I turned back to the crowd they started taking their seats.

"Thank you! Thank you all so much for that wonderful applause. I want to thank all my friends here who put in such grueling hours and so much hard work for tonight. This couldn't have happened without their help." The applause started again. "I want to give a special thanks to Keith Samuels the composer of tonight's music." Again the applause. "To Katie Allen, who directed the show. And a special thank you to Fashionista for allowing us to use their facilities."

"When I designed tonight's fashions I didn't know if they would ever be seen anywhere other than the pages of my notebook. If you are wondering about the title of tonight's show, it came about because tomorrow night is prom night for our models. I wanted to make tonight special for each of them, but received a special surprise in return. I hadn't seen the dress rehearsal so wasn't really sure what to expect anymore then you folks."

I turned to the models standing behind me. "Thank you all so much for all you have done tonight. I feel deeply honored to know and work with each of you these last few months. I feel truly blessed to call you each my friend." The models each took a bow and started off the stage. "Please don't leave just yet, now comes the part where those in the audience get to participate. Mark I will turn the microphone back to you and we'll let the people who came tonight show their appreciation for all the hard work." I turned to the models and together we all walked back stage.

As the curtain fell behind us the music started again only this time it wasn't the music Keith had written. The first of the models turned and went back out on the runway and the bidding started. I again found my way to the back of the auditorium and stood watching as the bids for each fashion went from what I hoped might be the top bids to more than I hoped for the entire show.

All of these fashions were Connie Carlson originals, with ever stitch made by Connie Carlson. I was proud of all the work that went into these outfits, but I never thought I would see people willing to pay what I was hearing for something I made. I was a kid, someone these people had never heard of. A small town girl with no money to call her own. Yet these people where making bids that I couldn't understand. Why? What was so special they would be willing to pay that much for something they, in all likelihood, would never wear? Did they really have the kind of money I was hearing in the bids? Was this really just a dream I would wake from and get a laugh out of?

"Quite something isn't it?"

I turned and saw Jim standing next to me.

"You knew this was going to happen didn't you? That's why you asked me if I minded you inviting a few people, isn't it?" I asked.

"Connie I didn't expect this. Yes I knew people would be willing to pay big money to own one of these outfits, but this is more than I figured. I would love to talk to you tomorrow after this is over. I have an offer you might want to consider," he said.

I looked over at him and shook my head this wasn't making any sense to me. If Jim was who I was beginning to think he might be, why didn't he expect this? He knew the industry better than anyone, he should have known what would happen inviting the people he invited. To me this whole night was a dream, a dream I didn't understand, but still just a dream.

At school the next day the show was all anyone seemed to want to talk about. How much some of the outfits had gone for. How I cried when the total amount was told, and the check handed to me to present to the Pride Center. I was totally lost, I didn't understand what happened, but now all these kids who before pretended I never existed all wanted to be my friend. What happened that over the course of one night I had gone from a nobody, to someone everyone wanted to be friends with. I just wanted to hide, none of it made any sense to me. I was still the same person today I was yesterday, wasn't I?

I found Judy, Paula, Erin, and Cindy sitting outside as far away from everyone as they could get and still be on the school property. As I tried to get near them everyone kept touching me, wanting to talk to me, telling me congratulations. Most of them I didn't even know and was sure didn't know me, but they still pretended they were my best friends. The closer I got to my friends, those who had been there before last night the more I realized everyone wanted to be my friend not because they liked me, but they hoped I could give them what my friends already had.

I turned and headed to the office of the school, again fighting through the masses of opportunists hoping just maybe they might get something they hadn't wanted the previous day, the chance to call me friend. I put my head down and started running trying to get away tears running down my cheeks from the knowledge that these kids were no different than many people would be once I started showing my fashions on the runways of the world, if that day ever presented itself. So many would be well wishers hoping to get something for nothing. I entered the office and the door shut behind me.

"Connie there are some men here who want to talk to you."

I looked up to see Principal Andrews standing there. Next to him stood Jim and someone I hadn't met, but knew who he was from the previous night.

"Hi Connie," he said holding out his hand hoping I might take it in greeting. "My name is Paul Merino, I was hoping we might be able to talk."

I looked at Jim, who just shrugged and didn't say anything.

"What do you want to talk about Mr. Merino? If it's about getting your money back I don't have it the money went to charity, and you'll have to talk to them about it," I said.

He laughed and assured me he wasn't there wanting to get his money back he was quite sure he had invested well in his purchase the previous evening. He said what he wanted to talk about was what I planned to do once school was out. He said something about being sure I had a very bright future ahead of me in the fashion industry, and he wanted to help me get my foot in the door. He took out a stack of papers that looked like legal documents and said he was hoping I would be willing to look over the contract and held it out to me. As I took it he said if I had any questions he would be happy to go over each part of the contract so I knew just what it was he was offering.

I thanked him and turned to Jim. "Just what is the offer you have Jim? Is it a contract, or more of your I didn't expect this BS that you tried laying on me last night?" I asked.

"Connie I really didn't expect what happened last night. I wasn't laying on any BS, when I told you that. I was genuinely surprised at the bidding last night. I was extremely surprised at the price of the last outfit. Until last night I held the record for the most paid for a single fashion on the runway, last night Paul gave you that title," Jim said.

"You said you had an offer I might want to consider," I said.

"I did, and I do, but first I think you should know the offer Paul just gave you, is likely a very generous offer that any fashion designer would be eager to receive. Paul happens to be the CEO of the second largest fashion design company in the world and has the ability to get your fashions out as well as anyone can," Jim said.

"But! Come on Jim that but is there, I can hear it louder than anything else you've said," I said.

He smiled and let out a small chuckle. "You're right, there is a but there. The but is, I think I can do better. I think you have guessed by now just who I am, haven't you?" I nodded that I had a good idea. "Connie I represent Fashionista fashions, the largest fashion design company in the world, with outlets that double any Paul has. I'm fairly certain Paul's contract will put his label in your fashions. At Fashionista we do it a little different, at Fashionista you will design your own label and while you are under contract to us we require your label to include the Fashionista logo. Connie there is more, but I believe the rest should be discussed in more private surroundings say over a cup of coffee rather then a Principals' office," Jim said.

I looked over at Principal Andrews. "I think your presence today will be more disruption than anything and I do understand this is important. I'll make sure your teachers all know you are an excused absence."

Jim offered to let Paul join us for coffee if he wanted and I walked out of the school between them. At the curb two big limousines pulled up and Paul dismissed his driver saying he would call them when he needed them. As I got in the other limousine with Paul and Jim following I saw Erin watching looking at me as though I had abandoned our little group. I jumped out of the car and told them I would be right back I had to let my friends know what was happening first. As I approached Erin ran over and gave me a hug.

"Connie who are those men? What do they want with you? You aren't in any trouble are you?" she asked.

I smiled and told them who the men were and what they wanted, then offered to let them come with if they wanted.

We returned to the car and I let them all get in ahead of me, Paula trying to be the gentleman insisting I get in first. Once we were all in the car I told Jim and Paul that I hoped they didn't mind, but these friends were the reason I had done the show. I wanted them there for whatever happened from then on. Jim and Paul looked at each other and both chuckled. "Connie whatever makes you happy is fine with us," Jim said.

Once we got settled at the coffee shop Jim turned his attention back to me.

"Connie the offer I have is one that involves a great deal of money, five million dollars up front to be more precise. If you choose the contract I'm offering there is a five million dollar sign on bonus, after that you will get fifteen percent of all moneys from the shows, and another five percent from all sales thereafter. The contract is for two years at four shows a year. After that you're free to go, or stay with Fashionista whichever you like. If you leave you will take your label with you, but the Fashionista logo would need to be removed," Jim said.

I had just lifted my cup to take a sip when he mentioned the five million dollar sign on bonus, and instead of watching my cup lifted my head and poured the coffee down the front of my shirt. I didn't hear the rest of the offer, I didn't even feel the hot coffee. I heard the five million dollar sign on, and everything stopped. My brain was stunned with the number and refused to work. The conversation came back again: "Miss Carlson we are talking millions of dollars here that are rightfully yours." Five million dollars and for what? For the right to make clothes that weren't worth anywhere near that price? Was I selling myself short? Were my designs really worth that much? I couldn't wrap my mind around any of this, it just didn't make any sense to me.

Jim slid a stack of papers across the table toward me and realized the coffee stain and cup in my hand. He gabbed all the napkins from our table and came around to help clean me up discovering that I wasn't there, at least I wasn't there mentally. He touched me and I jumped not having any idea anyone was there thinking only the insanity of that kind of money, and for what. Because I could make designs people like? That was crazy.

Yes, of course people needed clothing, but to pay that kind of money just to hide what the public thought shouldn't be seen. I couldn't understand the numbers I heard they made... I supported the house for three years by making friends clothes they wanted, not what they needed necessarily, but what they wanted. The fancier the outfit the more I charged not because it cost that much more, but because it took longer to make. Nicer things cost more, not because they were necessarily better, but because they took longer to make, and oft times the materials cost more to buy.

Of course, people bought what appealed to them. They were willing to pay whatever price they had to for what they wanted, even if they didn't need it. My designs weren't really just functional, they looked nice as well and it was the look that sold not the functionality. They didn't do any better job covering someone then the plainest basics, but they did it in a way that made people see themselves as being better, better looking, better off financially. It gave them status within society they didn't have before. I still didn't understand the shear size of the numbers I was hearing, but the reason behind them started coming through.

As the understanding of why came to me, the burn of the hot drink sank in as well. Why was my drink down the front of me? What was I doing holding the cup sideways? What happened? I stood up and started brushing the front of myself trying to get the hot liquid away from my skin before it caused burns. The burning slowed then stopped and I felt my face burn with embarrassment at the thought of how I'd just poured my drink down the front of me.

I turned toward the restrooms and hurried as fast as I could, hoping beyond hope no one, but those at our table saw me pour my drink down the front of myself. As I entered the restroom I found a stall and locked myself inside. The tears started coming, from the embarrassment I was feeling and I hoped I would never have to come out and face the world. Anyone who might have seen what happened would probably think I was some kind of nut job who shouldn't be allowed out in public.

As I sat there crying I heard the door open and a couple people walk in.

"Can you believe that Stacy?"

"Really she poured it down the front of her like she meant to. She must be some wacko out to see if she can function in the real world."

So others had seen what happened. What next? Someone call the press, we have a nut on the loose? That would be just my luck. I heard the door open again.

"Connie are you in here? You ladies haven't seen anyone in here have you?" Cindy said.

"Nope, but then we haven't checked the stalls."

"Hey the mens room is the other one! You aren't supposed to be in here."

"Connie are you in here?" Cindy called out again.

"Hey weirdo you heard my friend, what is it the freak shows in town. What are you supposed to be anyway? First the freaky girl that can't find her mouth, and now the Niger that thinks he can be a girl and no one will notice!"

I opened the stall and stepped out. "I think maybe you two are right the freak show must be in town. I see two of the biggest freaks in the world stand at the sink making fun of people they don't know all because they don't know the circumstances of their lives. Yes the freak show is in town, or the bigots have escaped their small little havens of safety where everyone is the same and difference has no place."

"Come on Cindy the company at the table is much better than in here." I took Cindy's hand and headed for the door. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and took my seat looking Jim and Paul Merino in the eye.

"Gentlemen I know both of you want to know my answer, but I don't have one right now." They both started to say something and I cut them off. "It isn't that I don't appreciate the offers, I really do. The problem is I have six more months of high school left and then I want to go to college. You both say my designs are among the best either of you have seen anywhere, and you can only guess how that makes me feel. Jim I didn't catch much of what you said after the five million dollar sign on bonus, I'm sorry, but numbers that big don't make much sense to me right now."

"I need time to read these contracts and I want to go over them with a lawyer I am paying, nothing against your lawyers. I'm sure they are very good, but if they are on your payroll chances are they are going to side with you on the points that may not be in my best interest." They again started to say something and again I cut them off. "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I'm not taking referrals from either of you on this, I'm sure my friends and I can find very competent attorneys who don't represent either of you in any way. Attorneys who will have my best interest at heart since I'm the one who will be paying their bill."

Jim smiled and sat back in his chair, Paul on the other hand leaned forward placing his elbows on the table as though trying to read my every thought. My friends mouths all dropped open that I hadn't committed to either offer, and looking as though they didn't have any idea who I was any longer. I looked around the table not sure if I should say anything further, opting not to say anything until someone else did.

Jim stood up leaving the contract on the table where he placed it, Paul stood taking out his phone pushing a few numbers then saying he would be ready when the car got there. They both turned to the door, then turned back to me.

"Connie I..." Jim started and broke off taking a deep breath. "Connie I am filled with wonder at every turn since meeting you. Your designs aren't some of the best we have seen anywhere, they are the best we have seen anywhere. I think Paul and I have both underestimated you, and very badly I might add. I am sure we both thought you would accept one of the offers we've presented you right here right now. I'm sure we both thought the numbers if nothing else would sell you on one of us. We were wrong. I have heard you refer to yourself as a dumb kid a number of times since meeting you, and I assure you, you are anything but a dumb kid. Those offers were both designed to make it hard for you to say what you just did. I applaud you and encourage you to follow through on what you have said. You have ever right to be skeptical of either offer."

Paul turned and said he hoped I would be willing to let him know my choice by the time school ended and placed his card on the table saying he agreed with everything Jim said. They both walked out looking at each other and smiling. Perhaps I read too much into their body language, but to me it was as though they had tried pitting me between them and I refused to be their pawn. They both seemed extremely pleased by the fact I hadn't taken the bait, and truly had my own best interest at heart.

As the door close behind Jim and Paul my friends all turned to me.

"Connie have you lost your mind?" Paula asked.

"Do you have any idea how much money they are offering Connie?" Judy asked.

"Connie are you sure it was wise to not make any kind of commitment like that?" Erin asked.

Cindy came to my defense. "It ain't about money is it Connie? It's about integrity, that was what that was all about in the bathroom wasn't it? Them girls didn't have no integrity in sayin' what they did and accepting those contracts you would have been wonderin' if maybe you wasn't no different selling your integrity for money. That's what this is about ain't it?"

I lowered my head. What Cindy said was the simple truth though it hadn't dawned on me why it was I couldn't accept the offers. The tears started falling all over again here was this sweet wonderful beautiful person I had so misjudged not so long ago, and she knew the answer better than I did myself. Those girls had raised my ire not in what they said about me, but in what they said about Cindy. Who were they to judge Cindy? They didn't know anything about her other than what their eyes told them and that was a lie. Those girls in the restroom showed their bigotry in their words. They didn't understand tolerance of anything that wasn't familiar to their beliefs. If it didn't fit neatly into their narrow definition of the world it was weird, wrong, unacceptable.

Would I have sold my integrity by accepting either of those offers? I didn't know, and I didn't want to find out. I had my values at stake, and I didn't have anything, if I didn't have values, I could call my own. As I raised my head Paula, Judy and Erin all frowned and apologized for what they said. I smiled at each of them and before long we were discussing what the next move was. Who did we know in the legal profession and what was it going to cost. Was it possible they would be willing to work on the contingent that they would get paid once a contract was signed, or would we have to come up with the money up front?

Each of my friends said their parents had lawyers who could probably refer us to a law firm that knew about contract law and be willing to accept payment after the contract was signed making it so I could pay since both contracts offered a sizable sign on bonus.

We started going over each contract making notes of what we thought we should bring up with our lawyers, things we found of concern. By the time we made it through both contracts once, we were ready to call it a day. Each of my friends promised to talk to their parents about lawyers who were familiar with contracts and let me know what they said in the morning at school.

"Connie! Connie wait up." Judy came running up excited and out of breath. "Dad said he knows just the lawyers we need," she said panting to catch her breath.

Judy's dad worked with contracts. He dealt with government contracts all the time and had a staff of lawyers he used every time he had a new contract come up. Paul came up just after Judy finished telling me, and said Judy's dad had a staff of lawyers his parents said where just what we would need. At lunch we went over everything again and Judy called her dad's lawyers to see about getting an appointment for me to come in and talk to them about the contracts and the concerns we had, and help with anything else they might see as concerns. She hung up and said her dad already called and they said they were expecting us as soon as we could get there. We didn't sit there long thinking about whether, or not we should cut the remainder of school for the day. Instead, we looked around at each other and stood up heading for the parking lot trying to figure out just who's cars we were taking.

Judy and Paul took Paul's car while Cindy, Erin, and I piled into Erin's car. As we pulled up at the lawyers' office we all agreed that since the contracts were for me I should be the one who talked with the lawyers, and everyone else would be there to offer what support they could, and help out if there was something I forgot, we had discussed earlier.

"May I help you kids with something?" The lady behind the desk in the front office asked.

"Gail is expecting us," Judy said.

The lady behind the desk hit a few numbers on her phone, and said something about some kids then hung up and pointed us to the third door down the hall on the right.

We walked down the hall and turned at the third door on the right. Since the contracts were mine I entered first not having any idea what to expect.

The lady behind the desk looked up and smiled. "Connie isn't it? I loved the show you did I just wish I could have afforded something. I'm Gail and I understand you have a couple contracts you need some help with."

"Umm... Yeah a couple of the fashion companies seem to think I have a lot of potential and made offers to hire me, but I'm not sure their offers are what would be in my best interest." I held out both contracts and stepped another step closer to the desk.

Gail took the contracts and started reading them. I had purposely put the one from Jim on top to see what kind of reaction she had to it. She offered all of us a seat either on the chairs or the couch she had in her office. She turned page after page nodding and making notes in a pad she had on her desk after finishing with the one from Jim she turned to a new page of paper on her pad and started reading the contract Paul had given me. She got through the first few pages and set it down, looking at me and shaking her head.

"Connie just what is it you want here? From what I see both contracts are good though I would go with the first since it comes with more advantages to you and fewer draw backs over all," she looked at me and again asked just what it was she could do.

I went over the concerns we found. She sat back listening and smiling. She seemed genuinely impressed with the concerns we raised.

"Connie most of those concerns are from the second contract I was reading aren't they?" I nodded they were and she reached over and placed that contract on the corner of the desk. "Okay, lets get this out-of-the-way. This contract is a lot of money for you, but it signs over all rights of your designs to the company. If it were the only offer you had I would say lets see what we can do to make it more you and less them without cutting the money you would get. The thing is it isn't the only offer you have so Let's look at the one that right now benefits you the most and costs you the least," Gail said.

She picked up the contract from Jim and set it in front of me. "Let's look at this one and see what we can do here shall we. I think we can skip the first part since it basically is about who is who and what their parts are, if you want we can come back to it and I can explain, but for now let's look at what it's offering."

Gail went over the contract line by line explaining everything she could. There were parts of the contract she wasn't sure she understood and marked them saying she would need to do a little research before she was sure what everything was, but not to worry about those things at the moment. For now we were going to look at what we did understand and see if any of that part might not be acceptable and if so what we might want to do as far as changes to negotiate for. With each point she found that was a plus there seemed to be twice as many that were draw backs, or at least appeared to be draw backs. The biggest draw back I saw was that the contract was for two years and I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to two years at this point.

As we finished the contract for Fashionista, we decided a break was in order. Gail said she wanted to see about getting the changes we talked about made to the contract for a counter proposal to their contract and also see about making the same kind of offer to Paul and see if he was really interested or just trying to make a half attempt at getting me to come to him. I knew Paul wasn't going to go for the counter, he said as much in the coffee shop, not in those words, but in how he avoided looking at me while Jim started making his offer. We came up with a counter proposal that favored me and not them and I objected.

"Gail if you are working for me, then please I want this fair for both me and them. They may have wanted to cheat me, but I have no desire of cheating them. I have to live with the decision made here, to be honest I can't do that if they don't benefit from this at least as much as I do," I said.

Gail looked at me and smiled. "Connie I'm not sure just what to think here. Every time I've done a rework on a contract I have turned the balance just the opposite of what the original contract had in it. I realize this seems to be unfair toward you, but I doubt they will accept it anymore than I would advise you to accept either of these offers as they stand. Negotiations are about finding a middle ground both sides can live with, if you will allow me I'm sure in the end what we will have is a contract both parties can live with comfortably," Gail said.

"No Gail, I can't allow this. I have to live with the thought we made a counter offer unfair to them, and what if they accept this counter offer as is when we present it. Would that be fair to them? Make it fair for both sides or I'll find a lawyer willing to do it my way," I said.

Gail looked over at the others in our little group and they all shrugged as though to say don't look at us, she's this way with everyone.

I didn't think I was being unreasonable. I wanted what was fair and what we had come up with thus far wasn't fair. We decided that Fashionista was who I was going with if they were willing to accept the changes I authorized to the contract, if not then we would try working with Paul and his company, but Fashionista's contract had more room for adjustment from what we could see and also gave me a better deal over all. Aside from all that I liked Jim, I wasn't sure why, but he felt like a kindred spirit, someone I could trust if I needed to.

We reworked the contract again this time balancing it so both sides came out winners wherever possible. The deal we came up with gave Fashionista the rights to all fashions I put on the runways while leaving me all designs not going to the runways. It was for six shows over a one year period, leaving me a chance to work with the models in producing the shows. What they wanted was four shows a year for two years, but I wasn't willing to sign a contract for two years. If I wasn't happy with them after one year I could walk taking all my designs except the ones that had been on the runways, those would belong to Fashionista for however long they wanted them. I would get my own label with their logo on it of course and if I left after the first year their logo would be removed from my label, but my label would still be mine. The sign on bonus was still there payable upon signing of the contract. Once we were done I thanked Gail and turned to my friends to see if they were ready to go. Gail said she would have the counter offer ready for me by Friday, and thanked me for standing up for what I really believed in. She wished me luck and came around her desk giving me a big hug.
  5. ##  Chapter 3

I was anxious to see just what Gail came up with she felt would be fair for both Fashionista and I, with only a one year contract instead of a two.

I asked if the counter offer was ready yet and Gail came out.

"Connie I'm glad you're here there are some things we need to go over, I wasn't sure of making them sticking points or something negotiable, but feel they are something you may want to talk to them about," Gail said.

She took me back to her office and went over the whole contract with me showing where she had rewritten the parts that weren't favorable to me and the parts that had been unfavorable to Fashionista as well. She showed me the amendments she meant that she wasn't sure about, but felt were worth discussing with Fashionista.

From Gail's office I headed straight over to Fashionista to talk to Jim about the counter offer Gail come up with for me.

"May I help you?" the lady behind the desk asked as I entered.

"I'm here to see Jim Beauchea," I said.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but he had to go back to New York yesterday. Is there anyone else who can help?"

He wasn't here? I needed to talk to him and he wasn't here any longer? "Jim gave me this contract and... well I need to talk to him so I can go over a few things with it that didn't seem right," I said.

"Just a moment ma'am, I'll call someone who can help."

"I'm a Miss not a ma'am," I said.

"Ma'am?"

"I'm a Miss not a ma'am. A ma'am is married I'm single." She looked at me not understanding what I said. I hated being called ma'am, I wasn't married I wasn't old enough to even think about marriage so why did everyone call me ma'am?

"Hello ma'am, I'm Dillon is there something I can help you with?"

"You can start by not calling me ma'am Dillon. I'm not married therefore I'm a Miss not a ma'am. Second I need to talk to Jim Beauchea. Since he isn't available I need to know how to get in touch with him," I said.

"I'm sorry Miss, but he's in New York in meetings and I'm not sure there is a way of getting a hold of him. If you'll give me your name and a number where he can reach you I'll do the best I can to let him know, and he should be in contact within a week or two," Dillon said.

A week or two, if he's as interested in me as he seemed then why wasn't I able to get a hold of him before a week or two. "Fine tell him Connie Carlson stopped by to discuss the contract offer he made, but since he doesn't have time to deal with such trivial matters I think I'll see what kind of deal Mr. Merino is interested in making for my designs," I said.

"You're Miss Connie Carlson?" Dillon asked.

"No, I'm Minnie Mouse, Miss Carlson's secretary. Yes! I'm Connie Carlson. Why?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson he left instructions that if he wasn't able to be here we are to see you on the next available flight to New York. A car will meet you at the airport to take you to the hotel, and Mr Beauchea will meet with you as soon as he can either tonight or in the morning," Dillon said.

"He expects me to get on an airplane and fly to New York? That might be nice, but I don't have the money for something like that. Without this contract I don't have the money to finish the orders I have and now I have the added expense of going to New York for a possible maybe on a job, sorry but I don't think so. Try someone else for that one," I said.

"Miss Carlson I think you miss understand. This is all at the expense of Fashionista. First class airfare to New York, for you and one other person. Accommodations at the Grand Hotel, adjoining rooms, all meals while you are there, and the use of one of the company cars for whatever you might need. Miss Carlson please, Mr Beauchea was very insistent that we assure you he is very interested in making this deal work to the best for you and Fashionista," Dillon said.

He was going to pay for me and one other person to go to New York to talk to him about the contract. "Dillon this all sounds very nice, but I'm sorry it won't work. I have a lot of work here to take care of and if I do go, there will be four other people coming with me not one. If he wants me that badly he can pay for all five of us not just two of us," I said.

"Miss Carlson, please be reasonable. We are talking New York City here. The cost of two tickets in first class are shall we say rather expensive, not to mention the cost of the Grand Hotel for even one night," Dillon said.

"Dillon those are my terms. My friends and I don't need to fly first class, nor do we need to stay at the most expensive Hotel in New York City, but if he thinks I'm going to choose one friend over another he still doesn't understand me and I'm no longer interested in his offer. So what will it be, five airline tickets and at least two rooms or none?" I asked.

He looked at me sheepishly and said he needed to make a phone call and would let me know, but to please wait until he returned before leaving.

"Miss Carlson there are five tickets waiting at the airport for you and your friends. The flight leaves at eight o'clock and they suggest being there at least an hour before the flight time to insure getting through security in time," Dillon said.

Five tickets waiting at the airport in my name, one for me and each of my friends. Now the trick was to let them know we were on our way to New York and get to the airport on time to get on the plane. "I need to use your phone to let my friends know and I still need to get packed," I said.

Dillon handed me an envelope that felt like it had quite a bit of paper in it and said it was for whatever expenses I ran into while there, he reminded me that I didn't have a lot of time and said there was probably enough in the envelope to buy whatever I might need once I got to New York, but getting there was the first objective. I called Erin and the others were there with her studying. I told her we were going to New York for the weekend and we needed someone to drop us off at the airport. Dillon said not to worry my car would be safe in the parking lot and the company car was available to get me and my friends to the airport. That the driver would drop us where we could get through security the easiest and quickest then make sure we got our tickets and on the plane, but my friends would need to be ready to go as soon as I got there or chances were we would miss the flight and there wasn't another until morning.

The company car turned out to be a limousine big enough to hold all five of us and still have room for half the senior class at school besides. As we pulled up at Erin's they all came out with their bags ready to go. The driver opened the trunk and put their bags in and then drove to the airport. We got there about forty-five minutes before the flight was to leave and hurried to the ticket counter only to find out the tickets were waiting for us at our departure gate. I looked at the person behind the ticket counter and asked how we were supposed to get through security without our boarding passes and found there was a security person standing by to escort the five of us through security and to our gate. At the gate the plane was already sitting there, but they hadn't let anyone board yet and we were down to fifteen minutes before departure. The security person took us to the boarding door and there they gave us our tickets and escorted us on the plane.

I had no idea what to expect since I had never before had the chance to fly, but what I got wasn't at all what I thought it would be like. We were seated in the first two rows behind the cockpit I guessed with nothing behind us. Once we were settled the rest of the passengers were finally allowed to board. I watched as they came on the airplane counting in my head and realizing that while we didn't have half the airplane to ourselves we did have an unfair share of it. As everyone came on board they stopped what looked to be a family of about five, telling them they didn't have room for standbys and they would have to hope the next plane wasn't sold out. I turned to the flight attendant for our part of the airplane and asked if there was going to be anyone else sitting with us later in the flight, and found out no we were the only first class passengers booked through to New York. I looked at the people who were turned away and asked if their luggage was delayed or just them the attendant said she wasn't sure, but could find out and disappeared, a short time later said she thought their luggage was in the cargo hold of this airplane and would need to be taken off so it was going to be a few extra minutes before we would be leaving.

I thought about how fair this was. A family of five who couldn't afford to fly coach so took standby weren't going to be able to get on this flight even though there was room for their luggage, and why? All because there wasn't room for them. There was room! My fiends and I didn't need a quarter of the plane to ourselves and these people looked stricken not being able to make this flight. What if they were on their way home and needed to be there by morning? They wouldn't all because their tickets didn't say confirmed.

"Miss," I got the flight attendants attention again, "what would it hurt for those people to sit here with my friends and I? We don't need all this room and they look like it's important they make this flight," I said.

The flight attendant looked at my ticket and stopped the removal of the baggage and let the people on board the airplane directing them to the front with my friends and I.

"Sir it seems there is room here for you if you and your family don't mind? Of course the complimentary drinks won't be available to you, but I think you will find it comfortable," the flight attendant said.

The complimentary drinks aren't available to them like they are really going to care. My ticket for this part of the plane is paid for, and I can't have the complimentary drinks either, so big deal who cares. One of the kids a few years younger than me came over and sat next to me.

"Hi! I'm Jesse. What's your name?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Jesse," I said. "I'm Connie."

"I'll bet you're rich aren't you?" Jesse asked.

"I guess. It depend on what you mean by rich. If you mean money, the answer is no, I'm not. This seat was paid for by someone else," I said.

"So you know somebody whose rich?" Jesse asked.

"I guess they're rich, but I think I'm richer," I said.

"I don't get it how can you be richer if you don't have any money?" Jesse asked.

I smiled thinking of all the ways I was rich, and none of them requiring any money. "Jesse I'm rich because my friends here care about me just because I'm me. I'm rich because I have enough to live on without depending on someone else for generosity that may, or may not come. I'm rich because I love and am loved in return. I'm rich because God loves me, even when I find it hard to love myself. I'm rich because I have friends and family," I said.

Jesse looked at me and smiled she knew what I said, she knew she to was rich beyond anything this world could give. She knew because she had her family here with her. She knew because she had her special friends at home wherever that might be. She knew because she knew how to love and be loved.

"Jesse I'm sure this young lady doesn't need you bothering her. Sorry ma'am the kids get a little hyper when we travel," the mother said.

"I'm not a ma'am I'm a Miss. Jesse wasn't bothering me she was just asking questions." I winked at Jesse to let her know I didn't really mind the questions she asked. "I'm Connie Carlson and these are my best friends Judy, Paula, Erin, and Cindy. We're on our way to New York for a job interview," I said.

"I'm Jesse's mom Helen. We're on our way home, supposedly we had confirmed seats on a flight yesterday, but the airline over booked and so we ended up flying standby. If we wouldn't have been able to get this flight we may not have made it back on time. It seems unusual them letting us fly in first class, but we aren't complaining," Helen said.

If I hadn't said anything these people wouldn't have been allowed on this plane because it was over booked as well, but some of those who were supposed to be on the flight hadn't gotten to the airport on time and... and what Connie? These people still wouldn't have been able to be on this plane if you hadn't said anything.

"I'm glad they let you on here in first class then. My friends and I could really use the company," I said.

"You're Connie Carlson? The Connie Carlson everyone has been talking about? Something about a fashion show or something?" Helen asked.

"I'm sure not everyone's been talking about me. I did a fashion show for a charity I've been volunteering at for a few years. My friends were some of the models for the show, I couldn't have done it without their help," I said.

"So you're going to New York for a job interview?" Helen asked.

I didn't want to talk about me and the reason I was headed for New York. What was the big deal? Yes I was a fashion designer. Yes I set a new standard in what could be on the runway. None of that mattered to me, none of that did anything, but tell people my name and what I do to try making ends meet. I wanted to find out more about Jesse. Find out what her ambitions might be, know if maybe there might be something I could do to help her. I felt a kinship to Jesse, it seemed no one understood either of us. Sure we had friends who loved us, friends we loved. We both loved our families and were loved by our families. What made us different was that neither of us felt trusted, like we didn't quite fit in where we should, but neither of us had any idea just why.

What was it that made us different? Could it have been that we didn't judge someone based on their looks? No. Jesse judged me to be rich by appearances, hadn't she? Hadn't she assumed that because we were sitting in first class we had to be rich? No she hadn't, she thought maybe I was, but she didn't come out and say I was. Instead, she had been curious about it and asked if I was rich. Big difference, at least to me there was a big difference. She knew that first class generally denoted money, but didn't seem surprised when I said I didn't have that much money. She didn't even seem all that surprised when I told her what I thought being rich really was. Instead, her reactions seemed to match very closely to how I felt mine would have been had someone been telling me what I told her.

I thought about her reactions, and the way I observed the rest of her family behaving. She hadn't learned this from home, at least not from her parents. They seemed nice enough, but I could tell they didn't really want anything to do with Cindy and Paula. They didn't seem to mind talking with Erin and Judy, they were polite to Paula and Cindy, but not nearly as open. None of them were except maybe Jesse. As the flight went on I watched closely how each member of this family interacted with each of my friends and I. I watched to see if I could figure out why it was Jesse seemed so different to me than the rest of her family. Could it be true what I thought I had seen? Could it be she didn't understand what prejudice was any better than I did? No she knew prejudice, it showed in a few of the things she did, not very noticeable unless you were watching, but they were there. A snide remark here a grimace there. None of it noticeable at just a glance, but there nonetheless.

"Jesse I was wondering if we could talk?" I asked.

She seemed surprised by the question, but not offended by it. I asked her what she thought of my friends and got a strange response, at least strange for what I expected.

"Connie I think you and your friends are all great. Paula is so funny and cute trying so hard to be herself, and Cindy, well Cindy's just Cindy. I would have loved to have met them a long time ago. Erin told me a little of her story and I really never would have guessed she was thought to be a boy, she's just so..., Judy is a riot, I don't know what else to say about them other than I wish I had friends like them. Connie I'm so glad I got the chance to meet all of you. Thanks for allowing my family the chance you did. If it hadn't been for you..." She started tearing up not able to find words to express what she wanted. I hugged her and realized why she seemed so much more at ease with my friends than the rest of her family had. She felt more at ease because she fit in with my friends. She was one of the community, and even as hard as they tried, her family didn't know how to allow her the freedom to just be herself.

Once we were on the ground Jesse gave me a hug and thanked me for letting her family ride with us. I asked what she dreamed of, and she told me she dreamed one day she could just be accepted for being herself. I suggested she get involved in a local support group and if possible get the rest of her family involved as well. I gave her my phone number and said if she ever needed anything to give me a call. I gave her a hug and her and her family left, Jesse looked back the whole time wishing she could find what she had with my friends and I more often and trying to thank us as long as she could.

"Well I guess we should go see what awaits us here in the big city," I said.

"Connie did you know Jesse is trans?" Paula asked.

I looked at her and the rest of them. They all wanted to know the answer. Did I know Jesse was trans? Most of the flight I hadn't noticed, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesse got on with all of us because she had something in common with us, or at least with three of us. "Paula does it really matter? Jesse was scared when she first sat with us because she thought we had lots of money. She thought for sure we saw through her attempt to be herself, just as so many do. Paula you of all people should know me well enough by now to know I don't see color, or sex, I see the person, and Jesse is one I would love to have as a friend." I smiled and started for the door.

We found the baggage claim and as everyone was getting their bags I started looking of someone who might be with Fashionista. Just as the others joined me I spotted someone holding a sign that had my name on it.

"You looking for Connie Carlson?" I asked.

The guy holding the sign smiled and asked if I was her and I laughed. "So you decided to come pick us up in person did you?" I asked.

"I'm glad you're here. Connie I am anxious to hear what you've decided about the contract," Jim said.

"I'm not sure you'll like it Jim. I had my lawyers rewrite it and there are some fairly big changes we made. Jim I couldn't sign it as it was. First off I don't think I'm ready to commit to more than one year, but that change was made so either you or I could terminate the contract or just let it roll over to the next year unchanged," I said.

"There are a few things I've changed to the contract as well, and one of them I'm certain you won't like, but I would rather wait until tomorrow to talk about it, okay. I know you didn't have time to get anything packed so I took the liberty of having a few things bought and taken to your room. Things like underwear and toiletries, I called your mom to find out what size on the personal items so I hope they fit. As for clothes I'm still fairly good most of the time telling size at a glance so I'm confident those will fit, but may need some tailoring," he said.

I looked at him wondering if maybe he forgot the money he'd left for me at the offices back home. He smiled and I thought no more of it. He knew, he knew more than he was saying, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it was he wasn't saying. I returned his smile and asked what time he wanted to have this meeting.

Once we were in our rooms I made a call to the front desk asking if they had an alarm clock I could use.

"Front desk how may I help you?"

"I have a meeting in the morning and was hoping maybe there was an alarm clock in my room, but I don't seem to be able to find it if there is," I said.

"Ma'am if you would like, the hotel is equipped to give wake-up calls, if you will tell me what time you need I would be more than happy to see you get one."

More than happy to see I get one. I gave them the time I felt I needed to be up and turned to my friends standing at the door.

"Hey guys how are your rooms? If they're like this one you probably have more room than you could need and..."

"Connie what's going on? I've heard of companies paying to bring someone to them for a job interview, but never spending this kind of money putting them up while they're there. Look at your room and the clothes hanging in the closet. Connie this has to be costing a fortune." Paula said.

I looked around the room, then at the clothes hanging in the closet. Those clothes weren't the kind I would wear, the clothes in the closet were originals never seen on any runway. What was more is they were all my designs. Designs I made for what kind of clothes I thought a top female business executive might wear. It seemed strange seeing what I put on paper hanging in my closet for me to wear. I'd always worn the designs I knew wouldn't eat much of what I made so we had more to run the house on. Mom did the same, she figured the more we conserved on our clothes the more we had for other things, like food.

I started running my hands over the material and realized, yes, these were indeed the outfits I'd designed. My closet was full of my designs, but not the materials I would have used to make them, at least not for myself. This material was the best money could buy, it was what I only dreamed of one day being able to afford to wear. Tears started running down my cheeks as I opened one of the outfits looking for a tag. There on the tag was my name, my name giving me credit for the design. "Connie Carlson designer Fashionista fashions". That son-of-a-bitch! Who did he think he was? How could he do this? Didn't he understand anything? None of this made any sense to me. Was he so sure I'd sign he was willing to take this kind of chance of being sued? No he knew I wouldn't sue him, he knew I couldn't sue him, after all it was my name on the tags, the fact I didn't yet work for Fashionista was just timing. This closet of clothes told me everything. It didn't matter what kind of changes I made, he was going to accept and sign on behalf of Fashionista. He wasn't going to leave me with anyway of not working for him.

Who was Jim, and why did he feel I was worth this kind of expense? What could I bring to Fashionista that was worth this? I needed to get some sleep, but knew it wouldn't be near enough to think clearly in the morning. The others had all gone back to their rooms leaving me in this room that made the house I lived in seem small. What was it costing Fashionista for this room? Were the others rooms as big? So many things all playing in my head and so little that made sense. I was a nobody, I didn't exist just a few days ago and now... now it was as though the world turned simply because I was in it.

I slipped on one of the night gowns from the closet and climbed in bed. I didn't remember falling asleep, but jumped when the phone rang. Who knew I was here, and how to get a hold of me? The phone rang again, and I picked it up. "Hello?"

"It is six o'clock AM." A mechanical voice said. Six o'clock? Why did the phone ring at six o'clock? The cobwebs in my brain were so thick, thinking was out of the question. I went in the restroom and splashed some water in my face, looking in the mirror and realizing this wasn't home. Where was I, and why was I here? The dream lingering clouding my mind even further. What was it about the dream? I didn't remember having a dream like it before, but knew I had. It didn't seem to make sense what language was it the people were talking? French? No not French, at least not the French they taught in the schools I went to, but the language was definitely some sort of French. Slowly the fog cleared from my head as I went through the clothes in the closet looking for something to wear.

A business meeting, that was what I was here for. A business meeting to discuss a job offer. Of course that was it, that was what this was about, a job offer that made no sense to me because I didn't understand the kind of money involved.

The dream why wasn't it fading? What was so important about the dream it would linger even as I became more and more awake? The dream of a woman lying there in her death bed. She was so young, yet the reactions of the other people said she was going to die. She had just had a baby a short time earlier, but the complication from that weren't what was causing her death. No. She wasn't dying because of anything other than she was tired of living. No. That wasn't right either she loved life, so why? Why did she have to die?

I looked in the mirror doing the final preparations for the meeting. As I opened the door Erin met me.

"Care to join us for some breakfast?" she asked.

All four of them looked more awake than was possible. They hadn't gotten anymore sleep then I had, yet they all looked like they got several hours. Was it just me? Could it have been the nervousness of the up coming meeting that prevented me from sleeping restfully? No, it wasn't the meeting that took my sleep. The meeting was set, the results were set, the meeting was a formality to make things look legitimate, nothing more. So what was it that caused me to feel so tired? Could it have been the dream? "I love you mom," she said. "I love you so much, but it is time. He needs Antoinette, they have honored me now it is time for them." How did I know that? She said that in French, a French that I couldn't possibly know even had I taken French in school. Yes, I wanted to learn French, but hadn't taken French in school because I hadn't seen the point. I was never going to be able to go to France, I would be lucky if I got to go to college let alone see the place of my dreams. But now? Was it more than just a dream? Was it possible that not only would I be able to go to school for fashion design, I would go to Paris?

I picked at breakfast not really tasting the food, instead thinking of the possibilities this afforded me. Thinking of the dream that seemed so real that had invaded my sleep the previous night, the dream that refused to fade from my memory. Something about the dream... it seemed so real, so much like I was there. Somehow I knew the words spoken, but I didn't understand, I couldn't possibly know what they said. They spoke in a language that was French, but not a French taught in schools today. Yes I knew English had changed, even over my lifetime as short as that was. How old was the French they had spoken in, would anyone really even know what they said?

"Connie are you okay?" Cindy asked, watching me pick at the food on my plate.

I hadn't realized how far I drifted in my thoughts until I looked at my plate. I hadn't really touched any of the food, I'd been so wrapped in the thought of the dream to the point everything else fell away. I ate a fork full and finished the coffee sitting in front of me and looked at the clock. I had to get going the meeting was in fifteen minutes and I couldn't even think about why I was here. I tried to concentrate on what I wanted to say in the meeting and the dream came crashing in. I looked at my friends and the dream came crashing in. What was it about the dream that was so important that it took precedence over everything else going on in my life? Why was the dream the only thing I could think about?

"Good morning Connie," Jim said as I entered the conference room the meeting was scheduled for.

I stuck my tongue out at him and smiled. Why did I do that? What on earth was I doing? This man controlled my future in the fashion industry and here I was acting like a spoiled brat. It didn't make sense, he should have packed the papers he had on the table in front of him and told me when I grew up and acted like an adult perhaps he might be able to find the time to discuss something as serious as my future in fashions. Instead, all he did was ask if there was something wrong with the room that I hadn't gotten a good nights sleep.

I sat across the table from him and apologized. "Jim please forgive me for that. I had a dream last night that refuses to go away. I can't begin to figure out why," I said.

"Perhaps if you talk about it, it might help," he said.

I looked at the papers in front of me and the dream came crashing in. "I love you mom." No! This meeting was too important to get lost in a dream that I couldn't even begin to make sense of. I banished the dream and looked at the papers in front of me again. "I James Philip Beauchea CEO Fashionista, here after known as the party of the first part do hereby enter into this contract with Connie Ellen Carlson fashion designer, here after known as the party of the second part." CEO? I wasn't dealing with some underling for Fashionista, I knew Jim wasn't some underling with Fashionista, he was acting to powerful to be some flunky underling, but CEO? Had he told me that before, I wasn't sure? "That's a great offer Connie, any designer with half a talent would be a fool not to accept such an offer. So you know Paul is the CEO of the second largest fashion design company in the world with outlets all over the world. I think I can do better though." No he didn't think he could do better, he knew he could do better. For some reason I didn't understand he wanted me working for him. He wanted the Fashionista logo on my fashions, and no matter what it took he was determined to make it happen.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Jim what if I tell you the changes I made to the contract would make me president of Fashionista?" I asked.

"Then I would gladly sign the contract right now. Connie that is just what that contract in front of you will do," he said.

No! No, that couldn't be. I was kidding about what I said. I wouldn't have any idea what I was doing being the president of a multi-million dollar company, but that wasn't what this was. Yes, Fashionista was a multi-million dollar company, but it was much more than that. Fashionista was a multi-million dollar company with offices all over the world. As the president of Fashionista I could live anywhere in the world I wanted. I could go to Paris any time I wanted.

No! No, I couldn't accept that he would make me the president of his company. I was a kid. I wasn't even out of high school yet. What about his kids, didn't they deserve to have a share in this? Surely they would want something if not the company when he passed. So what about them surely he had children.

"Connie I only have one heir and they don't know who they are, or at least it appears their mother never told them about me. It seems to good to me to be true, but she is very much like her father, at least where fashion design comes in," he said.

What is he talking about she... taking after him in fashion design... He seems to be alluding to something, something that should make sense but doesn't. His daughter is following him into the fashion industry as a designer... If that's true then why is he offering me this instead of her. She doesn't seem to know he is her father? No, that wasn't what he said. He said she didn't know who she was. How could she not know who she was?

"Connie who is your father? Your biological father not the man who raised you," he asked.

Why was he asking me that? He has no reason to know that information. I knew who my father was, I never met him, but I knew who he was. Chris and Brian told me all about him after all he was their father too, and they were old enough to remember him. I never got to meet him, at least not in this life. He was on his way home from work the day mom got the news from the doctor confirming she was pregnant with me. A drunk crossed the line and dad was killed on impact. I'd seen pictures of him, I knew the family history of how his parents came to America from Ireland. Mom never gave me reason to doubt he was my father, but now. I looked at Jim closely noticing his eyes the way his mouth turned up in a sly smile about a secret he wanted to share, but at the same time wanted me to figure out on my own. How many times had I made an expression just like that with mom? Wanting to tell her something, but only giving clues and a half smile watching as she pieced the clues together to come up with what it was.

No! It wasn't possible. This man was saying he was my father, but that couldn't be I knew who my father was. My father was Stephen Carlson, son of Robert and Erin Carlson. I was Irish and French not just French.

"Connie?" he asked.

"Who are you Jim? What is it you want from me? Are you trying to say your my father? I don't believe you I know who my father was. He died before I was born, but I know who he was. My brother and sister told me who he was, and now you expect me to believe they lied to me?" I asked.

"Connie I don't think your brother and sisters lied to you, at least not intentionally, I don't think they knew either. It seems your mother is the one who lied whether intentionally or not, she never told you or your brother and sister. She never corrected the misconception that you and your brother and sister had the same father. Connie I don't think she did that to hurt you, but she as much as admitted to me I'm your father, at least she accepted the checks I sent her every month from the day you were born."

"The checks you sent? Jim the last three years I was the only one in the house with an income. We lived on what I made selling clothes to friends and neighbors. Now you're telling me there was money I didn't know anything about?" I asked.

"I sent her a check for one thousand dollars every month for the last eighteen years, and every month those checks were cashed. Connie you tell me what I'm suppose to think, if you aren't my daughter why did she cash the checks? If you aren't my daughter why didn't she tell me you weren't when I asked within a week of when you were born? I loved your mother, I asked her to marry me when Robert died leaving her a widow. She told me no, because I lived in New York and she didn't want her children living in the city. I even offered to move to the country, and buy a ranch so you and your brother and sister could grow up learning the country values you learned. I don't have proof you're my daughter other than what I've just told you, if I did I'd give it to you," he said.

Mom lied to me all these years. She never once said anything to counter the beliefs that Stephen Carlson was my father. She'd even gone so far as to have him put on my birth certificate as my father. I knew Jim was telling me the truth, I didn't know how I knew, but I knew. I wanted to cry I wanted to scream about how unfair it was I'd been denied the knowledge of who my real father was for so long. I wanted that time back so I could get to know my father, as my father. I didn't know if I would have liked him, but at least I would have been able to hug him. I wanted to cry for the deceit of letting me think I was making the only money we had. The deceit of letting me think the material for those first outfits I made for real people came from dad. It all started to make sense, all the lies over the years. The college fund for me, but not my brother and sister. The material for the clothes, the booze for dad. It all started to make sense.

"Jim I need to make a phone call, I need to know the truth." Mom lied to me and I needed to know why. Jim showed me the phone and said I could dial direct. I called the house, I needed to stop this now, or know I was the true heir to Fashionista.

It rang a sixth time and mom finally picked it up. "Connie where are you? Why didn't you say if you were going to your friends for the weekend?" she asked.

"My friends are with me mom, but we aren't at their house. Mom I'm in New York talking with dad," I said.

Silence! I waited and nothing I was going to hang up and call back.

"Connie I wanted to tell you," she said.

"You lied to me! You lied to everyone! You wanted to tell me when mother? Just when did you plan on letting me know my father was alive? When did you intend to tell me I was the heir to a multi-million dollar worldwide corporation mother? Why didn't you let my father know the truth about what was going on? Why mother, why did I have to risk my grades so that bum you married could rot the way he has? What would have been so wrong about me knowing my father?" I asked tears running down my cheeks.

Again the silence. I knew she was still there this time, I knew she didn't have the answers to any of my questions, but I wanted to hear her tell me the truth for a change. I wanted her to admit she lied. I wanted to hear her tell me Jim was indeed my real father and cared enough to send money to support me.

"Connie, I... I'm sorry I never told you Jim Beauchea was your father. I'm sorry I never told you about the thousand dollars he sent every month for your support. I never meant for you to get hurt Connie. I never thought you would ever find out Stephen couldn't possibly have been your father," she said.

"Why couldn't Stephen have been my father? I just found out who my father is not that the man I had been lead to believe was my father wasn't capable of being my father. Why wasn't he capable mom?" I asked.

I could hear the wheels turning of why my mother had an affair when she professed to love the man she was married to.

"Connie he couldn't have been your father because he was sterile. The summer after Chris was born he was riding a bull in the rodeo and got thrown. Before they could get the bull away from him, it stepped on him leaving him a eunuch. He couldn't possible be your father because he didn't have the equipment to be a father again long before you were conceived. Yes, Connie I had an affair. I got lonely for the feel of a man. I never asked to be married to a man who couldn't be a man with his wife and I got lonely. Jim just happened to be there and we had some good times," Mom said.

"But you didn't love him did you?" I asked.

"No, I tried to love him. I tried to believe I loved him. Connie I'm not a saint, I never claimed to be a saint. I had an affair with a man I respected, but never loved. A man who did love me, at least at one time. He offered to marry me after Stephen died, he even offered to move to the country so you could be raised away from the city. Connie I didn't love him. A couple weeks after you were born he came by again offering to marry me, but I'd already met Jack by then. He said he would stay out of our lives, that he wouldn't say a word, until you were at least eighteen. I never expected you to be as good as you are at fashion design. I knew when you told me about that show what would happen, especially when you said where it was going to be. I knew if that show happened I wouldn't be able to hide the truth from you any longer, but didn't know how to tell you. Connie I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Mom said.

She lied to me, but she had done it by not saying anything. She never told me Stephen was my father, but she'd never said he wasn't either. She hadn't told them he was my father when I was born, they assumed, since she had been married to him and he died after she become pregnant with me, he was the father. My whole life was all of a sudden a big lie. Nothing about my life was right any longer. My father wasn't my father, I didn't have Irish blood flowing in my veins, at least not as much as I'd thought. I was French on both sides not just one side. So much that hadn't made sense was starting to, but things that had made sense, became unclear. I was the heir to the largest fashion design company in the world and didn't even know who I was any longer.

I put my head in my hands and started crying. I dropped the phone not noticing if mom was still there or not, it didn't matter. I had a father I didn't know, but wished I did. I had a father who knew the language I wanted to call mine, who had seen the home I wanted to call mine. I cried for all that had been denied me, because someone was afraid to tell a child they were human and made mistakes. I couldn't get those years back, I knew that, but I wanted them back anyway. I wanted to know my father, I wanted to learn the language of my ancestors. I wanted to see the home I so wished could have been mine, had I been born in another time, a time before my ancestors came to America. I wanted to know the language they spoke in my dream, the language that young woman had spoken to her mom not long before she died. I sat there crying for an hour, two hours, I didn't know how long, and all because I knew the truth now, and the truth hurt. How I wanted Richard at that moment. How much I needed the feel of his arms holding me as I cried for all that might have been, but wasn't.

Around noon Jim finally said something that got through the torment of what had been denied me, what I felt should have been mine. "Connie I love you," Jim said.

I looked up. Had he said what I thought he had? Could it be true? Did he really love me?

"I love you Connie. I've watched you from a distance because I promised your mother I wouldn't say anything until you were at least eighteen. When I started seeing the clothes you made I wanted to scream, look my daughter made that. My daughter the one who will set the fashion industry on it heels with her designs. My daughter likely the best clothing designer the world has seen in over one hundred years. Connie I'm so proud of you, everything I hoped I could have been you are, but you are even more than that. Yes, I love you for being a fashion designer, but I love you more just because you are," he said.

"I've watched as you have given support to others you saw only as a person, while others saw them as strange, different, as a threat to everything they believed. I love your caring manners, the way you choose your friends. The way you make promises you can and do keep. I've watched as you've told people you couldn't do something, not because you didn't want to, or weren't able to, but because you didn't have the time needed to do it."

"How you never gave false hope, but always encouraged people to just be themselves. Connie I'm asking you to just be you. I know it sounds like I am asking more, like I am asking you to do things you don't think you're ready for. I'm here to help, to do all I can to help you be ready for those things that right now seem over whelming."

"Jim I'm not ready for this. I don't know how to be the president of Fashionista. I don't think I'm ready for any of this, but I want to try. I want to try, but I don't want to start at the top, let me learn more about the fashion world before throwing me in hoping I'll make it. I'm still just a girl, not yet a woman ready to face the world of big money, and even bigger egos. Can we please take this a little at a time so I don't get so over whelmed I sink," I asked.

He knew me, he knew I wasn't ready, but it wouldn't take long before the sharks found out I wasn't the helpless little fish they thought I was. He knew I would push myself to accomplish what was ahead of me. He'd seen it before. He'd been there watching me grow up, and saw how I became a shark if needed to protect my friends. I was vulnerable only if the attack was against me, but threaten someone I cared about and watch out. The meek little nobody became someone you didn't want to mess with. He knew me after watching me for eighteen years.
  6. ##  Chapter 4

I smiled and we agreed we would go slow at first. He wanted to know if I would be able to do a show in about seven months, and I smiled again. Seven months, yea I could handle that if I had someone helping make the outfits, someone willing to listen to a teenage girl when she said how it had to be done. If I had someone who thought it should be done a certain way because that was how it was always done, then no, it wasn't possible. Seven months wasn't enough time to finish the work I had at home plus get everything ready for a show too.

I knew this show would need to be bigger than the show for charity had been. This show was to set the standard for who I am, and what it would take to keep up with me. This show was the start of my career and I was determined to see it was everything the charity show had been, only more so. I didn't want the mistakes that show had. Yes seven months would be just about right, it would be one month after graduation and very close to the fourth of July. It was perfect and I had just the outfits in mind.

"Jim can we get the others and have lunch, then maybe you can show me around a little and introduce me to those who actually take the clothes from my drawings to the real thing that goes on the runway," I asked.

We found the others and headed to a place Jim knew of that he said served real Italian food. Once we got there we were ushered around several others waiting for a table. What kind of clout did Jim have to get this kind of service, I wondered. As we were lead to a table, we found someone I hadn't wanted to see, but needed to let know my decision.

"Paul what a pleasant surprise," I said.

"The surprise is mine I assure you. I didn't know you were in town until I saw you walk through the door," Paul said.

So it wasn't dad who had the clout here, it was me. Me because Paul wanted to know my decision. "Paul I don't know if you remember my friends," I did the reintroduction's just so I knew everyone knew each other. Once I got to dad I stopped. Paul knew dad, they were each others' competition, but in this they didn't have equal footing and I doubted Paul knew Jim's advantage. "Paul this is my dad," I introduced Jim. Everyone looked at me like I had lost my mind. I hadn't had the chance yet to talk to my friends alone and let them know what I'd found out that morning, so the news hit them the same time it hit Paul.

Paul smiled knowing the only decision I could make was Fashionista. He graciously shook Jim's hand congratulating him not only on hiring the best designer he had ever met, but also on his good fortune of being that designers father. He took my hand and kissed it letting me know he didn't harbor a grudge about me not choosing him to work for and asking me to not make it to hard for people to want something other than my designs. I laughed and promised I wouldn't make it any harder than necessary for him to keep up, but if he couldn't come up with designs to match what I had it wasn't my fault, I just designed what I thought looked good and did the job. He laughed and said he hoped we enjoyed the meal and could come back anytime. His family owned the restaurant and there would always be a table for me with, or without, reservations. He again congratulated dad and left to talk to others at the restaurant letting us have the time to talk about the news I had given in the introductions.

"Okay Connie! Give! What was that about?" Erin asked all of them looking at me as though they had never seen me before.

"Umm... it's complicated. I didn't know until the meeting this morning. Come on guys I'm still just me, you know, Connie the girl from home who's scared of her own shadow," I said.

Jim spoke up saying he hadn't realized what it would be like being acknowledged as my father, that he kind of enjoyed the feeling and hoped maybe I might be willing to call him dad, but understood if I didn't.

I wanted to, he was my father after all, but I didn't really know him that well and... I wanted the past to be changed, to be so I knew my father for the man he was. I didn't know if he was the same in private as he was in public. I hoped he was, but I didn't know, and wasn't sure I wanted to find out. He agreed that I could go at my own pace letting the world know about the family relationship we had. I don't think he wanted people thinking he was my father just so I could take advantage of what he had to offer anymore then I did.

"Jim I'm proud to be your daughter, but I think for now that should be something shared only with those we trust enough to know they won't think this is just so I can take advantage of you," I said.

Jim smiled, showing he felt the same, while at the same time wanting to scream it from the rooftops. I wanted to let the world know I had a father that loved me. That my father hadn't died before I was born, but did watch me grow up. A father that cared enough to help make sure I had the things I needed in life. A father who out of love held himself back from what he most loved in life to honor the request of the person who was best able to care for his treasure. Yes, I was his treasure, it showed in how he looked at me, how he treated me. He was proud of me and wasn't afraid to let anyone know it, most of all me.

The dream came crashing in. Here I was thinking how right everything seemed to be and the dream came in blinding me to everything else.

*********

"Connie I love you! Please Connie do not talk about leaving this way," she cried.

"Mama I love you so much, but please mama, I must go that Antoinette and Richard may be happy. Mama they are in love and it is time for them. Did you not notice how Marie always called Antoinette mama. Mama I did not stop her because she is Marie's mama, it is she who will raise her for me."

"Please mama do not cry everything is as it must be. It is because I love you and Antoinette I must go. What I was here for is complete, I will still watch mama, I will always be here with you, if you remember me."

"Connie! No Connie, please do not tear my heart out like this my little one. Please little one."

"Mama I must talk with Richard. Please mama, I do not wish to tear your heart this way, but I must go."

*********

What did she call her? No it couldn't be, it couldn't be I was too young. I didn't speak French, I didn't know a word of French. So how did I know what they said if I didn't know French? They were talking in French I was sure of it. If I had to go away were was I going? This other woman who was she? Why did I keep calling her mom? I had a mom, and this woman wasn't her, so why would I call her mom? And what about this Marie, who was she? If she was this Antoinette's daughter why shouldn't she call Antoinette mom? No, that wasn't right, Marie was Connie's daughter, she had to have been, otherwise none of the dream made any sense. So where was it Connie was going? She said something about what she was here for being complete, so where was she going? Obviously her mom knew, but it made no sense to me, no sense at all unless she was... no she was so young, she still had so much life ahead of her. Where were the doctors? Surely they had doctors, so where were they?

"Connie? Connie are you okay?" Judy asked.

I looked around and saw them all staring at me. I looked down and there in front of me sat a dish of lasagna. When was that brought out? I hated lasagna. Why would there be a dish of it in front of me? I wasn't fond of American-Italian food of any kind, but especially not lasagna. I loved French foods, they were prepared in a different way than American-Italian foods. There was an older woman standing behind me looking over my shoulder waiting for me to take a bite, and ready to slap my hand if I didn't. Where were we? Who where these people? Recognition came slowly, I didn't mind American-Italian food, at least I didn't mind it at home. The smell of it hit me and I doubled over with cramps.

"Connie what's wrong?" Erin asked with genuine concern in her voice.

The cramps eased and I sat up again looking around. I knew all these people, but they all looked so young. Jim? How could Jim be here he died a few years ago, didn't he? The older woman standing behind me had a concerned look on her face now. She looked at my left arm and let out a small cry. She knew something, but what? Did it have something to do with my birthmarks? It must have, but what? She touched the lower birthmark and then ran her finger up touching the one above it, the one nobody seemed to be able to see, but Richards mom and I. As she touched it she said something I didn't understand.

"Sister of Life, Daughter of Life!"

I was looking at Jim as she said it and he turned white. He obviously knew what it was she said, and it seemed to scare him. My friends looked as baffled as I felt and just sat there staring at me.

"How long you have these marks child?" she demanded.

I looked at my arm and shrugged. "All my life," I replied. "They've been there all my life. Why?"

She took the dish of lasagna from in front of me and handed it to someone telling them to come back with something that sounded French and a bottle of French wine. A few moments later she set a dish that looked and smelled wonderful to me on the table and poured a small amount of wine in a glass adding a large portion of water to it.

"Eat Sister of Life. I did not know or would not have tried to serve you the lasagna. Eat this will help," she said.

I picked up the snail fork and speared one of the snails in its shell pulling it free and dunking it in the liquid butter sitting there. As it entered my mouth the remainder of the cramps left. The taste was exquisite, how I love escargot. I took the glass of watered wine and sipped a small amount making a face. I hated watered wine I was of age why did I have to have watered wine. Marie was almost two now and I hadn't had watered wine since she was born. I popped another snail in my mouth and sat back enjoying the flavor. As I sat back everything returned to the present. I was sitting in Paul's mothers restaurant with my friends enjoying a nice American-Italian lunch in celebration of the deal I worked out with dad.

I looked at my plate and saw what was there and bent over again. Was I eating one of those disgusting snails. I swallowed and reached for the wine again this time taking a big gulp. I looked up and smiled. "Sorry I wasn't expecting to be eating French in an Italian restaurant," I apologized. As I looked around the table I noticed everyone staring at my left arm. I pulled at the sleeve trying to hide the birthmark I knew they could see not thinking any of them might know anything about the other one just above it. No one ever saw that one so I just ignored it myself most of the time. I remembered Richards mom telling me not to let anyone see the lower one, something about there being people out there that would try to hurt me, or even kill me if they saw it. It didn't make any sense to me, but she insisted so I tried to always keep it covered so no one would see it. Now though it seemed everyone saw it, not just the lower one, but both of them, even the one no one saw.

"You feel better now, no! Sister of Life?" Paul's mother asked.

I knew she was talking to me, but didn't understand why she called me Sister of Life. Everyone was a Brother or Sister of Life, if we didn't have life we were dead, weren't we?

*********

"Connie I know this won't make sense, but you need to listen. This birthmark tells people you are a Sister of Life. I've never seen one so dark before, I don't know if there has ever been one this dark before, but you need to keep it hidden at least until you come into the Power that goes with this other birthmark. There are people out there who will want to kill you if they see those. Do you understand me, Connie?"

"Yes ma'am I understand. But why will they want to kill me just because I have a couple birthmarks aunt Gwen?"

"Connie you are the fulfillment of many prophecies. They fear you because they think you will destroy everything they believe in. A Sister of Life can see into the future so they can help the Daughter of Life. The birthmarks you have mark you as both a Daughter of Life and a Sister of Life. Those who hate the Children of Life will hate and fear you more than any other because you are both, so it is very important you keep them both hidden."

*********

They would fear me because I was both. I was both what? She never explained to me what either of them were only that as a Sister of Life I might one day see things that hadn't happened yet. I looked around the table again and saw everyone looking at my left arm still.

"I'm still just me guys. Okay! Yes, I have a couple birthmarks, it isn't the end of the world you know." I popped another snail in my mouth and found it to be quite tasty, so popped the last one in right behind it, washing them down with the watered wine.

"I guess this means you don't want to be my dad anymore Jim?" I asked as I set the wine glass back on the table.

He looked at me rather strangely, "Your mother is French on both sides isn't she?" He asked.

I thought of my mother and an image of her came into my mind. My mother as a small girl trying very hard to learn English, her mother encouraging her. "Momma why can we not go back to France? Why do I have to learn English? You and papa do not learn English, so why must I learn the English?"

"Yes! Jim mom still has a slight French accent. I never really noticed it because I live with her every day. You have a French accent too, you know," I said.

He laughed and said his family had been in America for several generations, but had stayed to the French quarters of New Orleans, and to the best of his knowledge his family was French as well. He then told me of the stories he had grown up on, about the Sisters of Life and the Daughters of Life, how they were always of pure French descent, and one day one would come fourth who bore the mark of both and she would be Powerful beyond imagining, and change the world. He told me according to the stories she would suffer many great things, she would be despised by many and at her death the world of life would stand still and morn the loss of the one they hated.

Paul's mother piped in that the one to bare the mark of both would be loved and hated. Those who loved her could not unlove her, those who hated her would fear her without cause, to her each person was worthy of life and she could judge none for she saw herself a sinner as well. In her was given the Power to cast judgment on those who hated her, but she would suffer at their hands showing love even in the torture they would bring on her. Many would marvel at her for even through the torture she would maintain her love and refuse to judge what was hers to judge, saying she was not worthy for she did not know the hearts of men.

I tried to follow what everyone was saying, but it didn't make sense. They were talking about me, but I didn't know the person they talked about. I cut a piece of steak and popped it in my mouth. I looked at the wine noticing my cup was empty, and reached for the bottle to pour another glass.

" _Sweetheart!_ _The_ _wine_ _is_ _not_ _for_ _you._ _One_ _glass_ _is_ _enough,_ _now_ _you_ _will_ _drink_ _water_ ," Dad said.

I looked at dad thinking how unfair he was being.

" _Sweetheart!_ _You_ _are_ _not_ _to_ _drink_ _wine._ _I_ _allowed_ _one_ _glass_ _because_ _of_ _the_ _marks_ _you_ _have,_ _but_ _you_ _are_ _still_ _underage_ _and_ _will_ _have_ _no_ _more_ _wine_ _with_ _this_ _meal_ ," he scolded.

" _That_ _is_ _not_ _fair_ _dad_ ," I said.

" _I_ _will_ _not_ _discuss_ _this_ _with_ _you_ _sweetheart,_ _no_ _more_ _wine,_ " he said.

I knew what he said but how? He said it in French and I didn't know French, did I? Why would he stop me from having more wine? It wasn't fair, I was old enough and I wasn't pregnant, so what was the big deal. I gave him a dirty look and reached for the water glass. I was really starting to dislike this bit about everyone questioning who... no they didn't question who I was, they questioned what I was. How was I supposed to tell them the secrets I knew? Secrets I couldn't share with anyone. Surely Paul would be able to tell them, he had... no, that was something private between him and I, and not to be shared. I looked over at him and snapped back into the present again.

Dad tried to say something to me and I gave him a funny look. Why would he talk to me in French, he knew I didn't know French. "Dad if you want to ask me something please use English, my French is very lacking, about all I can do is know it is French," I said.

Why were they all looking at me like I had lost my mind? Erin knew me from kindergarten, surely she knew I didn't know French.

"Connie you were just talking to me in French," Dad said.

I was what? I don't know French. How could I be talking to him, or anyone in a language I didn't know? This day was getting weirder and weirder as it went on. First the dream that woke me this morning. Then to find out I have a father who has been watching over me since the day I was born. On to being served French food in an obviously Italian restaurant. Now finding out I talk French when I know I don't. What's next? The world around me is going to fall at my knees and start worshiping me? No! I'm human the same as everyone else, it is God who should be worshiped, and him only.

"I'm sorry dad I don't know French, but it seems this day is full of surprises, for me and everyone else. I wish I knew French, but never took it because I didn't think I would ever be able to go to France. Why is everyone looking at me like I've lost it? I know I ordered lasagna for lunch, but now there's steak and escargot sitting in front of me, along with watered wine. What is going on dad?" I asked.

The old lady had pulled up a chair, no longer content to look over my shoulder. Paul come back over as well, and was staring at me like he had never seen anything like me before. What happened, that between last night and today everything changed so much. My friends were staring at me as well, looking unsure whether, or not they wanted to be my friends any longer. What had I done that was so different.

"Michael I know you're here show yourself!" I demanded.

"It has started Connie, remember the Power I told you about? The Power I told you would one day be yours?"

I remembered the words, I hadn't understood them at the time, but I did remember them. "Connie one day you will be a Powerful force. God has chosen you to bring life into the world of death. He has granted you the Power to see what is not seen, to judge men as he would judge them. Connie there is so much I wish I could help you with, so much you will need to know, and I can't, I can't help you learn what I don't know, what I don't understand. There is something you need to see maybe it will help you understand what I can't," he'd said to me.

He then took my hand and the world disappeared, replaced by a gathering the likes I couldn't imagine. A voice, I heard a voice call out, "Who will I send? Who will go to the people and share the Life of God with them?" A small girl stepped forward. "I will go father! I know nothing you ask is too hard, for you go before to prepare the way." A woman stepped up beside the girl. "Send me father, I will serve as well." No one else stepped forward. Then again the voice said. "Who will I send? Who will go to the people to share the Love of God?" Another girl stepped forward. "Send me father I will go, for as my sister, I to know you ask nothing that you do not prepare the way beforehand. I know that it is by your hand I can have the strength to accomplish whatever you ask."

Yes, I remembered the words, the words of Life and Love. I remembered how the girl had been told she would be among the last sent into the world. How she would be raised a foreigner in a strange land. How she would be alone among men who would not understand her. How the gift of God that was hers would be withheld until the day she saw the fulfillment of her days in a vision. How on that day the wonders of God would lead her in all things, and many would marvel at her for the glory God bestowed on her. Yes, I remembered the words, and now they started to make sense to me.

"Sister of Life the angels will minister to you all the days of your life. They will show you many great and marvelous things. The mysteries of Life shall be yours to command as no other before you. Blessed are you Sister of Life for you shall save many from destruction."

These people were telling me I was that child. That couldn't be, she was a mere child, the girl who had stepped forward. The girl who with so much faith had stepped forward and told God she believed in him and in his strength. She was only a child... but was I any more than a child? Did I believe God was worthy of worship? Wasn't it by Gods Power we had life in the first place? If I was the one Chosen wouldn't God give me the strength to do whatever it was he wanted me to do? Of course I believed that, never had there been a time I hadn't trusted in God to assure whatever I needed would be there for me.

Wasn't it God who had given me my friends to stand by me when I needed them. Wasn't I a Sister of Life, a Daughter of Life? I bowed my head and thanked God for all he had done, for the friends I had, the father who sat across from me, the people I didn't know at the table where I sat. I thanked God for the life I had, for it was good, it was more than I deserved. I thanked him for the salvation he provided for those willing to repent, and turn from their sin. I thanked God for so many things I hadn't realized I needed to be thankful for, things I had taken for granted, things like the air I breathed, the water I drank, and used to clean myself with. I thanked God for that small girl who in faith stood forward on that day to say here am I father choose me. I thanked him for her sister who stepped forward as the call went out again and said here am I father choose me as well.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see my friends standing around me with concern in their faces. "Connie are you okay?" Cindy asked. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, tears of joy for all I had been blessed with.

I smiled and the concern vanished. "I felt the need to pray is all." I said. "I never realized just how lucky I am until now. I wanted to thank God for everything in my life, because it is all his to give as he pleases, and he chose to give it to me."

So many things I still didn't understand, things like the dream from the night before. Just then it didn't matter, it didn't matter because I knew when I needed to understand I would because God loved me.

I didn't try the lasagna everyone else had I could smell it and knew that to even try would bring everything in my stomach up, and I didn't feel in the mood to try it just to find I was right. I thought of all the times I had enjoyed American-Italian food, but knew those days were ended. I didn't understand why, but knew French foods were about the only foods I would ever be able to eat again. What was it that caused the reaction I had, I didn't know, but guessed it was the spices used in preparing the foods, the spices that gave so much of their flavor to the foods, the foods themselves were but a memory of what they were cooked in the French way.

I looked over at dad and asked if we could have a tour of the offices since it appeared I would be working there soon. He smiled and winked at me letting me know whatever I wanted was what he wanted for the time being.

As we prepared to leave the restaurant I learned the old woman was Paul's mother and the owner of the restaurant. She insisted on apologizing over and over for having tried to serve me lasagna, even though I was the one who ordered it. I kept assuring her it wasn't her fault and I appreciated her concern, it had been her who had known what was wrong and how to fix it. She told me that kind of mistake would never again happen, that the Daughter of Life need never worry about being served lasagna in her restaurant again. She kissed me on both cheeks saying she hoped I would come back again and there would always be a table ready for me when I did.

Paul looked at me and thanked me for even considering his offer, and he understood full well why I wasn't able to accept it. He told me if there was ever anything I needed he could help with to call, anyone who could win over his mother so completely was someone he didn't want to neglect in any way.

When we got back to the offices dad showed us where he thought my office should be. I looked out the windows into the other offices and saw that while it was in the area of the other designers he had working for him it was separated with walls of glass where everyone else was more or less in cubicles. I frowned at him and said I hated it. I wanted to be where the people were. Not the designers per se, but the people I would need to work with in getting my designs onto the runways.

I didn't want to feel like I was apart from the everyday people, that I was someone they should look up to as though I was better than they were. I wanted to be where I could watch what was going on, where if there was a problem I could help with, I would be there to help. I wanted to be close to the production force who took my drawings and turned them into dresses, suits, slacks, shirts, skirts, whatever the design was. I wanted to watch as the work for each show was done so I knew everything was ready.

He lead us down to the production area and I saw a small office that didn't seem to be occupied. "Dad that's my office, please," I begged.

He laughed and said if I was sure I didn't need more room he didn't see any reason I couldn't have it for my office. He turned to someone and asked that they get the small office cleaned up and my name on the door. "Connie this little office used to be mine when I was just starting as a designer. Like you I felt I needed to keep an eye on things all the time. One thing I want you to keep in mind though. These people are the best I could find at what they do. I want you to let them do their jobs, not insist on getting in their way wanting to make last minute changes."

I promised I wouldn't interfere I just wanted to be where they could find me if they had questions about something. I reminded him I had accomplished something everyone said couldn't be done, and a lot of the things I designed needed to be done in a certain way or the fabric wouldn't lay right. He smiled at me, I'm sure remembering his days as a designer and how he wanted to oversee everything about his designs.

We continued on and I stopped to watch one of the dress makers as she pinned and unpinned something several times. Dad and the others continued on, leaving me to watch this woman as she got more and more frustrated with what she was working on. The head of production came over to her and started talking harshly to her saying if she could not get it right she was done, he didn't have time for her mistakes.

"Excuse me!" I stepped in. "She isn't getting it right because the way you want it is wrong. I've been watching as she's put this together, and well, if you let her do it the way she keeps starting, it will be beautiful and the fabric will lay better," I said.

They both looked at me and I smiled.

"Missy I don't know who you are, but this is my department and we do things here my way. My way is the way the designer wants it so to do it any other way is wrong," the man said.

I glanced at the drawings they were working from and smiled again. "Sir, I assure you the person who drew that design doesn't want it the way you're trying to make it. Ma'am, please do it your way if it needs to be redone then I'll take the blame," I said.

She looked from me to the man standing over her. "I'm sorry Miss but he is my boss, I really should do it as he says," she said.

Dad noticed I wasn't with him and came back looking for me. He came up as the woman said she didn't want to get in anymore trouble and she would try harder to do it the right way.

"Is there a problem here?" Dad asked.

I looked at the shop supervisor waiting for him to say something about me interfering in how he was making the designs.

"Sir, Annette here is still making the same mistakes she always does. I think maybe she isn't able to fit in here," he finally said.

So that was her name. "I disagree." I said. "I've been watching her and she is trying to do it the right way. The problem is he wants it the wrong way and she doesn't find doing it that way easy. I think the problem is he is set in how he does things and can't see if something is different and the way he is used to is wrong," I said.

"Look Missy I don't have any idea who you are, and right at the moment I don't really care. To make the fabric lay the way it is in the drawing requires doing it the way I have asked her repeatedly to do it," he said.

I looked at him and lost it. He was right he didn't know who I was, but he damn well was going to learn who I was. "Look asshole you better start caring who I am because if I ever see you looking at one of my designs again I will make damn good and sure you never look at another design coming out of this company." I was mad I didn't care. " _Antoinette_ _do_ _it_ _the_ _way_ _you_ _wish._ _The_ _fabric_ _she_ _is_ _meant_ _to_ _lay_ _how_ _he_ _say,_ _but_ _she_ _will_ _not_ _unless_ _you_ _do_ _it_ _the_ _way_ _you_ _trying_."

Everyone was looking at me again. What did I do? What happened this time? Surely I hadn't said anything wrong? The design was one of mine and who knew the fabric better someone working from a drawing or someone who had made the design before?

"Annette do it how you were trying the way Eddy says is wrong. Eddy the next time I hear you talk to anyone the way you just did to my daughter you will be fired. By the way Eddy the design Annette is working on is one of my daughters designs, I think she knows how to make the fabric do what it should, after all she did something everyone says can't be done and I still haven't figured out how she did it," dad said.

" _Dad_ _I_ _want_ _Antoinette_ _to_ _be_ _the_ _head_ _seam_ _maker_ _on_ _my_ _designs,_ _if_ _it_ _is_ _okay_ _with_ _you_."

Eddy looked at me and I saw fire coming from both eyes. He had just made a mistake and no way of fixing it and he knew it. He was going to be a problem if I didn't do something now to ease the tension, but I hadn't been the one to create the tension, at least I didn't think I had.

" _Edward,_ _I_ _am_ _sorry_ _if_ _you_ _did_ _not_ _know_ _to_ _who_ _I_ _am,_ _I_ _should_ _have_ _say_ _when_ _I_ _see_ _who_ _the_ _design_ _is_ _made_ _from._ _Pardon_ _my_ _shortsightedness,_ _please_."

They were all still looking at me. Why did they have to stare at me like this? What was wrong with me that they couldn't get over something so small as... as... I didn't know what as.

"It is okay Miss Beauchea I didn't know..." he started to say.

"My name is Connie Carlson, not Connie Beauchea. Just because Jim is my dad doesn't mean we have the same name, he wasn't the man named on my birth certificate as my father," I said.

"Connie I think maybe we better have a talk," Dad said. "Annette please do it how Connie said she wants it done, I'm sure it would have been nice the other way, but I am equally certain it will look better the way she says it should be done. From now on Annette you will be working directly for Connie, so if you have any questions I suggest you take them up with her. Eddy if Connie doesn't want you working on her designs then you will be working on the designs of everyone but her. When it comes to her designs she does know what she wants. If you need proof think about that dress Paul paid two million dollars for, she designed and made it," Dad said.

Dad looked at me and we headed for my new office. Once the door was closed he turned to me. "Alright Connie I've had enough. You have told me several times now you don't know French, yet again, I hear you spouting it like you've been speaking it your whole life."

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I hadn't been speaking French, I didn't know French. I hoped maybe he might be willing to help me learn so when I did go to France I would be able to communicate without the language barrier that seemed so prevalent wherever Americans went anymore. I didn't want to be the typical American who expected everyone to speak English just because I didn't speak their language.

"Dad I... I don't know what's going on. I swear I don't know French. I was hoping maybe you would teach me, since mom didn't. I didn't think I would ever be able to go to France, and mom didn't either so she never taught me and I never took it in school. If I'm speaking French I'm sorry. To me it's English. Is that why everyone looks at me so funny?" I asked.

He reached over and ran his finger up my left arm high enough to expose the lower birthmark. "Connie have you been having dreams that don't go away?"

"I had one last night. Why?" I asked.

He didn't say anything, instead looked away from me. Why did he look away? Didn't he want to be my father anymore? What had I done that now after finding the man who was really my father he wanted nothing to do with me?

"Tell me about your friends, the ones no one else can see. The ones who have been there for you as long as you can remember," he said.

How could he know about Michael and the others? Did I dare tell him about them? Should I tell him about the time Michael showed me something he said he wasn't supposed to show me? I didn't want to get Michael in trouble, but if dad already knew about him... no dad knew I had friends he couldn't see, but he didn't know who they were or why they were with me, did he?

"His name is Michael, at least the one I talk to most often." I said. Michael help me, I screamed inside. What should I tell him.

"The archangel Michael?" he asked.

"I don't know, I guess he could be, he never said. Dad he told me his name was Michael and he was there to help me. He really hasn't been much help most of the time. He said he can't teach me how to be who I'm supposed to be, but that you know someone who can help me learn," I said.

"He's here now?" Dad asked.

I nodded that he was. Dad looked away from me again muttering about how he didn't know how he could know anyone who might be able to help me learn the things I would need to know. He'd grown up on the stories about me and was disappointed mom hadn't taught any of them to me. "Dad he says her name is Marie." He looked back at me. Recognition coming into his eyes. He knew who she was, it showed in his eyes. Finally, I was going to get some answers. Finally, I was going to get to know who I was and what God wanted from me.

He said he would work on getting it set up for me to meet the only Marie he knew, but it would take a few days maybe a few weeks even. I must have looked disappointed or something, because he started apologizing saying the only Marie he knew didn't care much for American's and even said as good as his French was he was still just an arrogant American, who should stay in America so the French people didn't have to suffer the butchering of their language.

Dad insisted I take one of the company planes when we headed back home. He said it was now mine to use, but not to be ridiculous in trying to go everywhere, or he would take it back away from me. He helped me get a bank account setup and then deposited five million dollars in it saying it was mine as per the contract neither of us signed. I tried to refuse the money and the plane, but only got taken over his knee for the effort. I couldn't believe he would spank me for refusing to take money and a company plane, but found out quickly he was serious about both. He wanted me to get used to what my life was becoming and said this was a good way of doing so, and wouldn't accept any excuses of why it wasn't right.

He picked us up the next morning and took us to breakfast, then the airport. Nothing like what happened the day before happened until we got on the plane, and were about to takeoff. Then it all started again. The dream came on full force again leaving me blinded to everything but the visions of the dream. The words they said. The names, again the names so familiar to me yet names I didn't know. This time the dream played on beyond where it stopped before. This time it played on as Richard came into view and I gasped. I knew who this young woman was laying there in her death bed. I knew she wasn't very old, I knew she had many things she needed to do and from the look she didn't have a lot of time to accomplish them. I knew all this because the young woman laying there was me. I wanted to cry, I looked so young. I just had a baby. I had a two year old daughter. Richard looked in so much pain, like his life was being torn from him a little at a time. I thought about the older woman before Richard. Marie, her name was Marie, she was my daughters grand-mama. She too looked in pain as though her whole world were ending. Why? Why did I need to see something like this? What possible purpose could there be in me knowing I was going to die on the same day my son was born? Richards son was born.

Who was Antoinette if she was going to be the mother of my children where was she? She was my sister, a sister I loved very much. Where was she? Why wasn't she here? Surely she loved me as much as I loved her, so where was she?

*********

"Ellen it is time. The envelopes for you and Antoinette, it's time to get them out." Richard said into what appeared to be a telephone.

"No Richard!" I heard come from the phone. No Richard she is safe. Please! Richard... please..." sobbing. What was happening why was this woman crying? What had Richard said that would make her cry like this? Who was she? Who could she be that this amount of torment had been meted out with the simple words of it is time? Why couldn't I see her? Surely I was able to change the scene so I could see this woman, that seemed so distraught.

"Ellen I ask that all the flags on corporate buildings be lowered to half mast, in honor." The tears rolling down his cheeks. The loss for everything but the grief that had seized him.

*********

I looked again at the form laying in the bed. It was me the birth marks there, visible for anyone to see. I started crying, not because I was the one dying, but because of all the anguish my passing had wrought. These people loved me so much and now I was gone from them. Didn't they know as long as they remembered me I would always be with them? Didn't they know that it wasn't my life that had been important, but instead the way I lived it? Didn't they know the love I had for each of them would last for all eternity? They should have known all these things, yet they still mourned as though they knew none of them. I wanted to tell them I was still with them. I wanted to put my arms around them and let them know how much I cared for them. So many things I wanted and knew I couldn't do now. I never wanted them to be hurt by me. I couldn't change what was going to happen, I knew this had to be, but why? Why did I have to die at such a young age? Why did I have to leave a two year old daughter and a new born son behind like this. I knew they would be cared for. I knew Richard would love them with all that was in him. But I wanted to raise my kids. I wanted to hear them call me mama.

I needed to lay down. I needed the vision to stop, but was afraid to try stopping it. What if it held something I really needed to know. I didn't know if I would ever see this vision again and if I stopped it, if I could stop it, and missed something important, something I might really need, what then? I talked to the flight attendant and found out there was a bed in the back of the passenger compartment. She helped me back to the bed and I asked her to let me know when we were an hour from landing, but not to disturb me otherwise.

About an hour before we landed I sat up feeling much better. I joined the others farther up in the passenger compartment hoping they wouldn't ask a lot of questions I didn't have answers for.

"Feeling better?" Judy asked.

"Much, thanks. Before you all start I don't know what happened. Nothing like that ever happened before and I don't know if it will ever happen again." I said.

"Connie we weren't going to ask, but we would feel better if you saw a doctor. I doubt they'll find anything, but it would make us feel better." Paula said.

I looked out the window as home came into sight. So many questions and so few answers. What was happening to me. I knew this was only the start of what was going to happen and it scared me. What if I turned into some monster that killed people just because? No, that didn't make sense, if that were going to happen then why had I been protected so well for so long? I thought of what happened in the restaurant. How I had ordered lasagna and when it was placed in front of me I had sever cramps hit. Why? What was it that made me have the cramps?

Paul's mother seemed to know right away what was happening, she even seemed to notice the upper birthmark on my left arm. No one ever saw that birthmark... no, aunt Gwen saw it. She was the one who told me to keep both birthmarks covered. What was so special about those birthmarks? Why would someone want to kill me if they should see them? Sister of Life, Daughter of Life. That was what she called me, but what did it mean? Two titles I was sure of that, but had no idea what either meant. I needed to talk to aunt Gwen, maybe she could give me some answers.
  7. ##  Chapter 5

Once back on the ground the plane taxied to a hanger with Fashionista painted in big letters on it. As we stepped off the airplane there was a big limousine waiting. I looked at the car and wanted to run. How could he do this to me? Surely he didn't expect me to use this car to get around, I could just see it now. This big car pulls up in front of the school and I get out. Oh yes! I can see it now. No such thing as anonymity for Connie from now on. Since we didn't have a car at the airport I didn't see any reason not to use it to get home, but I swore if this car showed up to take me to school I was going to scream.

We dropped the others at their homes and I got out at Erin's. The driver asked if I wanted him to stick around and I told him no. I didn't want to show up at home in a limousine, what would the neighbors think? The driver left and Erin and I went in her house to be confronted by her parents and the questions we knew we were going to be facing.

"I take it everything went well?" Erin's dad asked.

Neither of us were sure which of us he was talking to so we both tried to answer.

"Whoa! One at a time girls. Since the trip was for you Connie how about you answer if you wouldn't mind," he said.

I thought about what kind of answer I could give without making me sound crazy and couldn't find one. "It was okay sir," I said.

"So you have your contract, then?" he asked.

"No sir I didn't sign a contract, we just never seemed to get around to it," I said.

"Isn't that what this trip to New York was supposed to be all about?" Erin's mom asked.

"Well... yea that was what we thought it was about, but things changed once we got there." I replied.

"So what did you all do in New York then?" Erin's dad asked.

"Well dad and I talked about a contract, but we just never got around to signing one. I mean what was the point? I'll be working for my dad and one day he said the company would be mine," I said.

"Whoa there! What? Connie what did you say? You'll be working for your dad? Connie I think I got lost somewhere here. How will you be working for your dad? Who is your dad? Obviously not who we expected, so who?" Erin's mom asked.

Now what? I didn't mean to say dad, it just came out. Well at least it wasn't French this time.

"Umm... well... it's complicated. When we went to New York, it was to negotiate a contract, but... well... things changed on Saturday. I didn't get much sleep Friday night, and then Saturday morning when I met with dad I found out he was my dad and... well... Then I started speaking in French when we went to lunch, and... the whole trip is, well... the whole trip is kind of a haze to me," I said.

They looked at me and shook their heads. Did I say all that in French again? No Erin was doing her best not to laugh at me, and wasn't doing well trying not to.

Everyone started laughing leaving me wondering just what I said. Most of what happened seemed so strange, trying to tell it didn't make sense to me, yet I knew the things that happened had a purpose, one I didn't see at the moment, but one that would come clear I hoped.

"Mom, dad, it seems Jim Beauchea is Connie's father. Even she didn't know until we got to New York. So anyway, it seems Connie is his only child thus heir to Fashionista. From what I was able to gather, Jim wants Connie to take the seat of company president, and Connie said no, at least for now," Erin said.

"What is this about her speaking French though? Connie I didn't know you knew French," Erin's mom said.

"That's where things really start getting crazy. She doesn't know French or at least she kept insisting she doesn't. It sounded like French to me, but I don't know French so I'm only going by what others said. Mom you remember the stories you told me of a time coming when someone would have two birthmarks one visible and one those without the gifts of God marked on them wouldn't see? Well it seems Connie is the one that story is about," Erin said.

"Both on the left arm? Connie the one we can't see it looks like a woman praying?" Erin's mom asked.

" _Yes_ _it_ _is_ _just_ _above_ _this_ _one_ _madam._ _"_ _I_ _said_ _sliding_ _my_ _left_ _sleeve_ _up_ _so_ _the_ _birthmark_ _was_ _visible_. " _I_ _do_ _not_ _see_ _why_ _it_ _is_ _so_ _important_ _she_ _is_ _there,_ _but_ _no_ _one_ _can_ _see_ _it_ ," I said.

"Connie? My French is a bit rusty... I think what you said was it is above this one," Erin's mom said touching the lower birthmark. "Connie if that is true then... those stories are old. I learned them from my mother and grandmother. Grandmother said she learned them from her grandmother, who in turn learned them from her grandmother," Erin's mom said.

What are they talking about, surely I didn't say that in French, did I? What stories was she talking about? Why is it everyone seems to know more about me than I do? I'm going to have to sit down with mom for sure when I get home and have a serious conversation about why she didn't teach me French, and these stories it seems everyone knows about, except me.

" _Excuse_ _me_ _madam,_ _but_ _I_ _must_ _go_ _see_ _to_ _mama._ _There_ _is_ _much_ _she_ _needs_ _to_ _explain_ _to_ _me._ _Goodbye_ ," I said.

I turned to the door and Erin met me asking why I was leaving. "Connie surely you can stay for a little longer."

" _No!_ _It_ _is_ _time,_ _I_ _must_ _see_ _mama._ _I_ _will_ _see_ _you_ _in_ _the_ _morning_ _at_ _school_ ," I said.

Erin looked at me strangely and I realized I was again speaking in French. I didn't understand how it could be, but I knew it was true. I had to find out why mom hadn't told me the stories, and why I didn't seem to be able to speak English any longer. How could French be the language I spoke when I'd never learned it? I wanted to cry, none of this was making any sense to me. I wanted to give Erin a hug and let her know how much it meant to me to have her for a friend, but was afraid she wouldn't understand me. Could I tell her so she understood? Could I speak English if I tried to hard enough?

"Erin... I... really... need... to... go... talk... to... mom," I said.

"I know Connie, I know you do, but I was hoping maybe we could..." Erin started to say and cut herself off.

I opened the door and found the car was still sitting there, I was sure I told the driver to go, but there sat the car. As I got out to the sidewalk and turned toward home the door opened and Paul stepped out.

"Connie may I have a moment please?" Paul asked.

A moment! He wanted to have a moment and all I wanted was to go home and wake up finding this was all just some sick dream that didn't really happen.

"Yes Paul a moment only, I wish to be home soon," I said.

He stepped over and raised the sleeve of my left arm looking at my arm carefully. He started to say something and stopped, looking me in the eye with wonder. He let me know he didn't remember ever seeing the birthmark everyone saw, but knowing the other was there as well... he said if ever I needed anything to let him know, he was dedicated to protecting the person wearing both birthmarks since he was a small boy.

He told me of a group who had sworn a pledge generations ago to serve the one who would one day wear the symbol of life in its fullness. How those chosen were made to swear oaths giving their lives to that protection above all else if necessary. He then showed me a tattoo he had that matched almost perfectly the birthmarks I had. Tears were running down both cheeks looking at the tattoos he had. The placement of the tattoos was identical to the placement of my birthmarks. He bowed to me and took my hand swearing that if ever I requested anything he would do all he could to insure the request was fulfilled.

I just wanted him to stand up. How could I ever explain to anyone why this man, a man who was obviously married, was on his knee before me? I begged him to get off his knees and please just go home. I didn't understand what this was about and once I was out of school I was moving to New York and if he could help me learn what it was to be who everyone seemed to think I was I would be grateful, but until then, please could we just pretend nothing had changed. I still had five months of high school and didn't really want to think about much of anything other than that for now. He offered me a ride home which I refused because it wasn't that far and all I could think about were the questions I had and trying to figure out how to ask them. I wanted the time walking would afford me.

It took me about fifteen minutes to walk home, and I thought of all that happened from the time I left to go get the contract signed on Friday. How when I got to the lawyers to pick up the contract with the revisions I thought it should have, it wasn't quite ready, so I had to wait about twenty minutes. Then how Gail wanted to go over parts of it so I knew just what the changes were. I thought about arriving at Fashionista's offices only to find out there wasn't anyone there allowed to handle the contract negotiations. How I thought for sure everything was falling apart when it finally looked like it might all be coming together. Then finding out I needed to go to New York and they were willing to pay for me to fly there first class. I thought about Jesse and her family, how things for them seemed to fall apart also, only to be allowed to fly first class, because I had cared enough to share what was more than I needed. Why were so few willing to do that anymore? It didn't make sense to me, but I knew that was how it was.

Arriving in New York with my best friends and getting checked into the hotel, finding the room I had to myself, was almost as big as the house I had grown up in. The dream, a dream I knew I'd had before, but this time lingering, not just lingering, but replaying over and over even after I knew I was awake. Breakfast and knowing everything would be different. That no matter what happened at the contract negotiations life for me was going to be forever different, I wouldn't be allowed to be the naive kid I tried to be any longer.

The meeting with dad, finding out that my father was still alive, when all my life till then I believed he died before I was born. How much I wanted to scream, to thank God, to curse God. So many things that made sense now, yet so many that no longer made sense. Lunch at the Italian restaurant, ordering lasagna then going crazy and feeling so sick when it was brought out. How many things happened in the space of one weekend, yet knowing many things still needed to happen before I could sleep. The tour of the offices and what happened on the manufacturing floor. The flight home and finding out I was going to die in not very many more years. The ride from the airport to drop everyone off then the conversation with Erin's parents. I stepped in the front door to be met by the man who had been the only father I had known until that weekend.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"You're drunk," I said.

"Yeah, so what? You're still late," he said.

"Go fall back in your bottle dad, I don't feel like dealing with you right now. Where's mom?" I asked.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with someone who drank all the time. I needed to talk to mom and he wouldn't have understood most of what I wanted to talk to her about even if he were sober. Mom wasn't in, so I was going to have to wait. Dad found the latest bottle he had and sat in front of the television set with the bottle beside him watching some show I didn't remember. The fact I hadn't seen the show before didn't really surprise me as I didn't watch much television other than the occasional evening news, which I found not to be accurate most of the time anyway. How could they call it news when they biased it on their own feelings? Wasn't news the facts and only the facts? If so why did they always think they had to explain everything? No, television was for those who didn't have anything better to do with their time than be fed someone else's ideas of what the world should be like.

Mom got home about an hour after I did. I started dinner while waiting for her, something I found in one of the cookbooks we had around the house. I figured it would be safe since it was supposed to be French. How I wanted escargot. Yes I knew it was snails, but oh they tasted so good dipped in butter. Mom had a large bag of groceries she set on the table, then came over to see what I was making.

"Mmm that smells delicious Connie. Have you been home long?" she asked.

"Long enough to almost have dinner ready and tell dad to enjoy his bottle. Mom we really need to talk, after dinner is over," I said.

"Is it about your father?" she asked.

"Well there is that too, but no. Mom I want to know if grandma ever told you stories about the Sister of Life, or the Daughter of Life?" I asked.

Mom dropped the lettuce she was putting in the refrigerator, and turned to me.

"Where did you hear those names? Connie, where did you hear those names?" she asked.

"They're my names mom. I am the Daughter of Life, and a Sister of Life. I want to know did grandma ever tell you the stories about me?" I asked.

She fell in a chair at the table. "Yes, Connie she did. She told me one day there would be a woman who would bare both marks, and she would change the world as we know it. Connie what makes you think you are that woman?" Mom asked.

"Because I have the mark of both. Mom why didn't you ever tell me those stories?" I asked.

Mom just sat there not seeing anything as she remembered the stories her mother taught her, stories she was supposed to teach me, but hadn't.

"Connie I don't know why I never told you. I tried to tell you so many things I never did. I wanted to tell you about your father, I tried several times, but the words just wouldn't come out. It was the same with the stories. I told them all to Chris, but when I tried to tell them to you I couldn't," she said.

"You couldn't? Mom I don't understand. How is it that you couldn't tell me the stories about me? I'm the one those stories are about and I never knew the stories. It seems everyone knows those stories but me, and it's me they talk about," I said. "Erin's mom told her the stories. You said yourself you told them to Chris. What about me mom? Don't I count? Wasn't I good enough to hear them so I wasn't thrown into what I have been. Mom I can't eat Italian food anymore. We went to an Italian restaurant and I ordered lasagna and when it was put in front of me I became violently ill."

"You what? Connie..." mom said shaking.

"It seems the only food I can eat now is French. I never hurt so much as I did when that plate of lasagna was set in front of me. Luckily the owner of the restaurant knew what to do. She saw the birthmarks on my arm, and took the plate away, and had them bring me a fillet minion and escargot with some watered wine. Do the stories talk about that mom? Do they say I won't be able to eat anything but the foods that are fixed in the French way?" I asked.

Mom thought about it and the only thing she could think of that might indicate something like that was that the woman would be a child of France, a child of pure blood. Mom was sure it wouldn't qualify me since she wasn't sure of dad's family, but knew her family didn't all come from France. Her grandmother on her mothers side was from Belgium not France.

I looked at her and asked if great grandma was really Belgium or if maybe her family had moved to Belgium before she was born. She thought about it and didn't know for sure.

We had dinner and then talked about all the things she tried to tell me, but hadn't been able to before. It didn't make sense to either of us that we could talk now when before I had gone to New York we almost never talked. It wasn't that either of us hadn't wanted to, but more that neither of us knew what, or how to say what we wanted to say. I let mom know I would be late getting home the next day because I wanted to go shopping. I still had to buy the material for several of the orders I had to complete, and wanted to get a car too. I wanted to look into the bills we had and see about getting them paid off if possible.

I knew none of the things I wanted to get accomplished were going to be easy. I needed to know if the mortgage company had an office in town as well as the other bills I could pay off. I had more than enough money to pay off everything, buy a car, and give mom enough to get her to go stay with my brother or sister. I knew if she was here, trying to get dad dried out wasn't going to happen and figured the only way was to give each of them ultimatums.

I stopped at the bank and talked to an account manager about what it was I wanted to do about the bills. They helped me find a way of following through on paying everything off, telling me if I had a list of the bills they could for a small fee... seeing what I had for an account balance he stopped mid sentence and told me he would personally make sure all the bills were paid in full by the end of business the following day, no fees either. His statement about no fees told me what I already thought happened when you had money. The more money you had the more money you got to keep, because banks and financial institutions liked spending your money so gave you privilege the common people didn't get and were never told about. By the time I got out of the bank I knew all the bills were going to be paid off, and had set up an account for mom with a debit card she could use anywhere to get money or whatever she needed. I set the limit on mom's debit card at one hundred thousand dollars, and been assured that at the end of every month the available balance would be reset to one hundred thousand. For dad I got another debit card with restrictions so he wouldn't be able to get money or alcohol off the card. I set it to recharge also, but put a five hundred dollar limit on it. I wanted to get him off the booze and back to work, not support him for the rest of his life.

From the bank I headed for the car dealers. I knew the car I wanted, a car the dealerships didn't have, but they did have the car I intended to buy and trade for the car I wanted. I hadn't been able to remember the dealership the car was at so had to go through three dealerships before I finally found it.

"That sure is a fine car ma'am," a salesman said.

"Miss!" I said with indignation. "I'm a Miss not a ma'am, and yes it is a nice car. I understand it's loaded with all the extras as well."

"Yes Miss, it sure is, I think it may be a little out of your price range though. How about I show you something a little less expensive?" he said.

"I'm sorry? Do you work here?" I asked.

"Yes ma'am, the name's Bill," he said.

"Well Bill, how much for this car just as it is? The sticker says one hundred twenty five thousand. Is that cash price or just where we start negotiating from?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled. "Ma'am that's the base price of the car," Bill said.

I smiled back and told him if he called me ma'am again he would lose the sale to someone who could listen. "Bill I am a Miss not a ma'am. I'm ready right now to write a check for the price in the window or we can continue and while you try to jack the price I'll start lowering the price I'm willing to pay," I said.

He didn't listen again. "Ma'am I think you misunderstand this car is fully loaded the sticker price is for the basic model," Bill said.

"Bill I think I'll try someone else since you obviously don't know how to listen, so how about being a good boy and get me your manager," I said.

"Is there a problem Miss?" Someone said just as I told Bill to get me his manager.

"Are you the sales manager here?" I asked.

The new arrival looked at me then at Bill. "No Miss I'm not, but I can make you a deal on this car," they said.

"No I don't think you can. I want this car, but I'm no longer willing to pay the sticker price, a price that according to the sticker includes all the extras that are in the car," I said.

Bill looked at me and frowned, he was sure he had me, trying to sell me what I would have already been paying for. The new guy didn't argue with me, instead he went off I hoped to get the sales manager.

A short time later. "Hello I'm Larry the sales manager here, is there something I can help with?" Larry asked.

"Hello Larry, I hope so. I want to buy this car just as it sits and Bill here is trying to add on costs that are clearly marked on the sticker price. Since it seems your sales people want to add to the price of the car over and above the cost marked, I think I might try another dealer unless you are willing to now take ten thousand dollars less than the sticker price for the crap your sales men are trying to pull," I said.

He looked from me to Bill and back to me. "Ma'am I'm sure we can work this out, won't you please come in and sit down?" Larry asked.

"Miss! I am a Miss not a ma'am. As for working this out, the price I am willing to pay will be going down again if we can't come up with a yes Miss Carlson, or a no Miss Carlson right here, right now. Larry we're talking a cash sale here. Yes, I give you my debit card and you start filling out the paperwork. No, I go to another dealer and buy the car from them," I said.

He smiled at me, I was sure thinking I was some naive kid who had daddies credit card that undoubtedly would be so close to the limit there was no way it would cover this car. "Miss Carlson I'm sure we all want to come out ahead here, but for me to say yes I need to look at the paperwork to make sure we have that much we can go on the price," Larry said.

"Well Larry. You go look at your paperwork and when you get back the price I'm willing to pay will have dropped another ten thousand. You see Larry, I know there is another dealer in town that has this car in stock and I also know that going there it will cost me a little more than here, but Larry, and this is a big but, I also know they won't try taking me for extras that are included in the price. The big difference is, this car is the color I want that one isn't," I said.

"Miss Carlson, I'm sure I can say yes, but I would like to see if maybe there is something we can do about the problems you've experienced while waiting for me. Yes Miss Carlson if your debit card is good I am willing to sell you the car for ten under the sticker. Now can we please go in and look at the paperwork for the car," he said.

We went inside and sat at his desk as he pulled the papers for a car that wasn't the car I wanted.

"Larry if you are going to try selling me something other than that car right there I will be out of here faster than you can say wait." He looked at the file he had and blushed, and went back to the file cabinet and pulled the right file.

"Sorry about that, so many things going on I... sorry. Now then, we are talking the cobalt blue Porsche 911 GT3 aren't we?" he asked.

He opened the file and started writing figures on a sheet of paper trying to see just what he might be able to add trying to recover the ten thousand he was giving me off the sticker price. After about fifteen minutes he showed me the price with tax licensing and all.

"Tell me Larry just what you think I'm supposed to do about that number? I told you what I was willing to pay and if you can't find away to make that the total, I think I'm going to go see the other dealer," I said.

He looked over at me and shook his head. "Miss Carlson I'm not trying to add unwarranted charges here. If you'll give me a few minutes to go over the charges I added you'll see that we aren't making anything on them, but we do have to charge them on every car we sell," he said.

I smiled at him and let him know I knew the tax and licensing would be over the cost, but I didn't need everything else he added. I didn't want an extended warranty, I didn't want the so called free services, I didn't want any of the extras he had just added in and charged me tax on as well. I told him I was fine with paying the taxes on the purchase price of the car and also on the licensing, but everything else would have to be removed or the sale was a no go. He started writing again and finally showed me the new numbers, numbers I felt okay with so he started filling out the bill of sale. I watched as he filled in every line with numbers. He then asked the name I wanted on the title and I thought about it a moment.

I was buying this car to trade for the car I really wanted, should I put the car in my name or in Paula's name since Paula was the one who had the car I wanted? "Paul Collins. The car should be registered to Paul Collins. The title should be in that name as well," I said. I handed him my debit card and while he ran it I went over and talked to the person they had there who helped insure people who bought a car and needed insurance. I let her know the car I bought and the coverage I wanted, then said it was going to be registered to someone else and I was only going to drive it long enough to deliver it to them. I let her know I wanted the lowest deductible she had with full coverage and I wanted the policy to be for one full year. She started asking me for Paula's driver license and other info so she could give me an accurate quote. I didn't have any of that information, she suggested I call Paula and get the information or she would have to charge me the highest premiums.

Great I didn't want to let Paula know about the car yet, but needed the information only she could give me. I called Erin to see if they had all gone to her house.

"I'm sorry Connie they aren't here yet. What information do you need I'll see if I can find it for you." I gave her the list and she told me to hold on for a minute. She was back before the minute was up and had all the information for Paula. I smiled, I knew she had all of our information in her computer, but wasn't about to ask how she came by it. Larry returned with my debit card just as Irene came up with what the insurance was going to cost, so I gave her the card to pay for the insurance, and returned to Larry to find out when the car would be ready.

"Larry there wasn't anything wrong with the card was there?" I asked.

He turned to me and just stared. I didn't know if he was going to say anything, so sat there trying to think of what might have happened. Surely there wasn't a problem with the card, I knew there was more than enough money on it to make this purchase. So what was it that could have him staring at me like he was.

"Miss Carlson, no, there wasn't anything wrong with the card, it worked fine. I've just never seen one clear that fast before. May I ask just how much there is on that card to make this kind of purchase and not have everything go on hold for what seems forever?" he asked.

"You can ask Larry, but I don't feel inclined to give an answer." So the card worked flawlessly, I hadn't worried about it working, but had never made any kind of purchase like this with it before. It was a debit card so the money had to be there for the card to work, but that didn't mean it would work even if there was enough on it to cover the cost. Twenty minutes later I was sitting in the car on my way to find Paula so I could make the trade.

I saw Paula and Judy just going into the ice cream shop so wheeled in and parked. Entering the shop I spotted them sitting there with Erin and Cindy. I ordered a soda and joined them.

"Paula I was wondering if you'd be interested in trading me cars?" I said as I sat down with them.

"I didn't know you had a car Connie. Let me see it and I'll let you know," Paula said.

I tossed the keys on the table and watched as Paula's expression changed from amusement to shock as the keys came to rest in front of her. She recognized the type of key and started looking out the window to see if the kind of car the key fit was really in the parking lot.

"It's the blue one sitting next to your Malibu," I said. "I hoped you'd be willing to trade so had it titled and registered in your name, the insurance is also paid for the next year," I said.

She spotted the car and let out a squeal. "Connie you can't do this! That car is worth so much more than my Malibu. I... I... Connie I can't accept, I would feel like I was cheating you."

"But it's already registered in your name Paula. I thought you'd be happy to make this kind of trade, it is the one you showed us, you know the one on the showroom floor. I got a really good deal on it and... Please Paula I really would like to have your Malibu and you did say that car was one you would do anything to have if you could," I said.

She looked at me, then slowly turned to each of our other friends. The conversation of when she was telling us about the car showed in her face. She knew the words where the ones she'd used. She knew that the money didn't mean anything to me, that it never had. She remembered all the times she'd watched as I put together a dress for someone, how I always made sure it was what they wanted, but never charged more than I promised. She looked at the car and the desire to drive a car like that was transparent in her posture. She wanted the car, everything about her said she did, but she didn't want to take advantage of a friend getting it, and that was what this felt like to her.

"I'm sorry Connie, but I just can't. As much as I want to have a car like that I just can't take advantage of you this way. I still owe five hundred dollars on the Malibu, and that Porsche is worth at least five times what the Malibu was worth new," she said.

"Paula to me the price is worth what I paid. Will you accept the trade please? Let me do this please. You guys have helped me so much and now that I can I want to give back a little for all you've given," I said.

Paula reluctantly took the keys for the Malibu off her key ring and handed them to me. '" Connie I can't get you the title until I get the money, and that won't be for about a month. I don't like this, but I know you aren't going to take no for an answer," she said.

"We can go get the title tomorrow, I still need help from you, if you don't mind." I laid out the plan I had and asked if they were willing to help with the parts I couldn't do. They all agreed Erin and Judy offering to take mom to the bus, train, plane, or a dealer to buy a new car if that was what she wanted. Paula agreed to disable dad's car making it impossible to start without fixing it first, something simple, but not easily found. Cindy offered to help Paula. We all agreed to meet back at my place once mom was on her way. Once the car was disabled Paula and Cindy offered to help me start moving my stuff out of the house.

We all got in the cars Paula and Judy getting in the Porsche and Erin, Cindy, and I in the Malibu, and headed for my house. When we got there dad was passed out on the couch with the bottle sitting next to him. The car was in the driveway so I knew mom was home, I found her in the kitchen looking through the refrigerator for something to fix for dinner.

"Mom, I know you love Jack, I love him too, he's the only father I've ever known, the thing is I want the man I knew back, and as long as you're here right now that won't happen." I placed the debit card I got for her on the table. "Mom there's one hundred thousand dollars on that card and the first of every month the balance will be brought back to that. I want you to leave, go visit Brian or Chris, or better visit both of them. Take your time see the country, go to Europe, whatever. I just want you to leave for at least one year. No phone calls, no mail, no anything for one year." I set a cell phone on the table next to the debit card. "The number for that phone is already programmed into my phone and my number is programmed into that one. The bill on that phone is paid don't worry about it, all I ask is that you call me if you want to talk to Jack. I don't want you calling him until he's been dried out for at least one month. Mom if you do try calling the house you'll find the number is no longer a working number and the new number is unlisted in my name. I won't give it to you until Jack has been dry for at least three months, until then you'll have to go through me to talk to him," I said.

Mom looked at me and sat down. "And if I refuse? Connie I love Jack, and you're telling me I can't even talk to him," Mom said.

"Mom I know it's going to be hard. What do you want mom? Do you want to kill him? Then don't take that card or the phone. Mom I love Jack too, he's the only father I've ever known. The thing is he isn't the man I admired anymore, and I want that man back. I want the man who taught me to ride a bicycle, who built me a play house in the back yard. I want my daddy back, and that man out there on the couch isn't him. Mom if you love Jack as much as you say please pickup that card and phone and let Erin and Judy take you out of here. If you want to drive they'll take you to a dealer to buy a new car and I'll give them my debit card to pay for it so you have the money on that card to go wherever you want," I said.

She looked at me and reached for the card and phone. "Connie I do love him, at least I did before he started drinking all the time. If you really think he has a chance of being the man he was again, I feel I need to trust you. It's hard to believe how much you've grown, I kind of miss the little girl I had too." She picked up the card and phone.

I gave Erin my debit card and told them to see she got whatever kind of transportation mom wanted, but if it was a car make sure it was new not used. As they left I started packing some of the things in my sewing room.

I really needed to get the orders I still had done so I could concentrate on the show I had coming up a month after I graduated. I picked up the order book and started looking through it. Ten orders that weren't filled and no material for any of them. Tomorrow I would need to go get the material for those orders so I could get started on them. Ten orders of fashions I hadn't yet done before, but with each I knew the customer they were for and what it would take to finish them. I thought about each of the orders I had done and started going over the fashions I wanted on the runway in six months. Two of the orders I had were in the collection I intended for the runway in New York. If I did them here now what would happen there? I needed to contact the people those orders were for and see if by chance they might be willing to pick out a different design, one not quite as business as the ones they'd chosen.

As I started packing the sewing machine the world around me changed.

********

"Ellen this is Antoinette, I would like you to help her learn the business end of Fashionista."

"Hello Antoinette, I'm sure there are many things that will seem puzzling at first."

"Connie I do not understand if I am to work with this American then I will have to leave France, no? Please sister do not make me have to leave France."

"Antoinette, it is important that you learn what Ellen can teach you, I do not choose this because it is easy, I choose this because it is right."

"Ellen I am pleasure to meet you. Pardon my English it is not so good, but it will improve, no?"

"I'm sure it will. And I think your English is better than my French, I hope we can help each other in that area so we both become better at both languages."

********

So this is Antoinette the sister I have that I have never met. She is stunningly beautiful, and carries herself with a confidence that few have these days. If I love her, she must be someone special, after all, not only do I love her, I will trust her to be the mother to my children as well. She wasn't happy about having to go to America for who knew how long, but she was willing to because I asked her to. She seemed hurt by the thought of moving from France, but eager at the same time. I saw in her something I hadn't seen in anyone I had met so far. A strength that said she knew who she was. No, that wasn't it, there was more to it, but what? What was it about Antoinette that marked her as someone so special? She turned so all I could see was her back and I gasped. Yes, she was someone special, she was me, or so it appeared from the back. She dressed the same as I did, her posture was the same as mine, even her hair from the back looked the same as mine. From the back anyone who didn't know both of us would easily be confused thinking we were each other, no there was more. From the back even those who knew us would get us confused if they saw us separately.

The vision Michael had shown me came crashing in. "Who will I send?" "Lord send me," this timid little girl stepped forward. Then a woman old enough to be the girls mother stepped forward, "Lord send me," she said. The two were chosen, and others besides, to each it was told what they should do. Then again the voice came. "Who shall I send?" This time another girl stepped forward. "Lord choose me, I know there is nothing you ask of us, you do not first go forth and prepare the way." The girl stepped up next to the first girl and put her arm around her. Another stepped forward. And said no Lord these are but children." send me that I might serve your will always." She then stepped back into line with the others who had not wished to step forward. "Child you have spoken wisely this day and it is you who shall go forth with your sister to show unto the world the wonders of heaven." This wasn't part of what Michael had shown me, so where did this come from?

The wonders of heaven? Just what are these wonders he spoke of, that two young girls could show them to the world of men? The girls looked much alike unless you saw them together from the front. From the front just as the only way to know Antoinette and I were not the same was to see us from the front. Could it really be that Antoinette and I were sisters from before time? Did we each tell God send me for nothing you ask is to difficult, for you always go before and prepare the way? The vision faded the memory of it lingering, but the vision itself faded so that the world returned.

"Connie are you okay?" Cindy asked.

I looked around, why was I laying on the floor? What happened that I was laying on the floor? I looked at Cindy when she asked if I was okay, but didn't understand her. " _I_ _do_ _not_ _understand._ _Cindy_ _what_ _are_ _you_ _saying?_ _Please_ _speak_ _English_."

Paula stood by her and asked what happened, Cindy turned to her and shrugged.

"Paula I came in and found her lying here on the floor like she passed out or something, then she started speaking in that strange language again. I'm not sure she understands this time though," Cindy said.

Paula leaned over me " _Connie are_ _you_ _okay?_ _We_ _are_ _concerned_ _about_ _you_."

Finally, Paula spoke so I understood. " _Yes!_ _I'm_ _fine,_ _it_ _was_ _one_ _of_ _the_ _visions_." I tried to get up and they held me down.

" _Connie,_ _no_!" Paula said. " _How_ _on_ _earth_ _did_ _you_ _get_ _like_ _that?_ _Do_ _you_ _want_ _us_ _to_ _speak_ _French_?"

No, that couldn't be, we were talking in English I was sure of it. What was happening? I didn't know French, so how could we be talking in French. "I... I... am... sorry..." Was it English this time? I looked at Cindy and she smiled at me.

"Welcome back Connie." Cindy said.

I knew what was happening this time, I knew it, but it still didn't make sense. The vision was true I knew that without a doubt. I also knew one of the girls in the vision was me and the other was Antoinette. There was something missing though, something that left the vision incomplete, but I didn't know what. What was it about the vision I missed? Two girls so much alike yet so different. There was something I noticed, but for some reason I couldn't figure out just what it was. What was it that was missing, that I was meant to see this time I hadn't seen the first time I had seen this?

"Who Will I Send?" and a small girl stepped forward. "Send me Lord, for all things are in your hands, and nothing you ask of me will I fail, for you will always be with me." The arm of the small girl, something about the arm, but what? There high on the left arm a woman praying with what looked like a bird in flight right below it. Yes of course the symbol of Life there on her arm. "Who Shall I Send?" "Lord send me," the other girl stepped forward. "Lord nothing you ask is impossible for you go before your servant to prepare the way that all things may be as you have said." The left arm smooth unblemished. She turned to her sister and... The right arm high on the right arm the woman kneeling in prayer and just below the bird in flight. "Of Those Chosen None Shall Be Greater Among The Children Of Life. To One It Is Given To Give Life, To The Other It Is Given To Give Love, And The First Shall Be Last And The Last Shall Be First." Together they lifted up there eyes in praise and thanks giving. "Glory be to God in the most high, for as he decrees so shall it be," the two said as one, and the heavens bowed down and gave thanks to God for his love and great wisdom.

I looked at my friends, with awe, they had chosen me, as much as I had chosen them. Just as those two young girls had done they accepted when the call went out. They knew without knowing that for me to accomplish the things I had been given I would need their help, so they gave unconditionally of themselves that the glory of God might be made manifest through his servant Chosen so long ago. A servant hidden away by time, so the world would not fear her, and try to destroy her. I smiled at the understanding that came and thanked my friends for all they did for me, and for the world of men.

They didn't really understand the thanks I gave them, but I did. I bowed my head and gave God thanks for helping me by placing these special people in my path. Judy and Erin got back while I was offering God my thanks and praise.

I stood just as they came in the door. "I guess mom is on her way?" I asked.

Erin handed me back my debit card. "Yes. Connie she wanted to buy a car, so we took her to one of the Porsche, Mercedes dealers she picked out one that... Connie she picked out the most expensive Mercedes they had. I hope you don't mind that we let her get it," Erin said.

"We tried to call but it seems your old number has been disconnected, your mom didn't seem very surprised and said you changed the number." Judy added.

"Connie did you get Paula's car at Evans Porsche, Mercedes?" Erin asked.

"I take it they remembered my debit card?" I asked.

"Once they saw your name on the card the guy that was helping us turned white and said to wait. Pretty soon the sales manager was there asking if everything was alright and wanting to know if there was anything we needed beyond the car." Judy said

"Connie he said to be sure to thank you for choosing his dealership to buy from then took five thousand off the price." Erin added.

We all started getting my things together and out to the truck I rented to move it to the apartment I was going to share with Cindy. About half way through Jack woke up, looking for the bottle next to him. The first thing I did after mom left was go through the house looking for the booze and dumping it down the drain. If I was going to dry Jack out the time to do so was now not later. I put the bottle he had next to him back, but the rest I found I threw out in the trash after emptying them down the drain.

"Connie where is my bottle?" Jack demanded.

"It's right there next to you Jack, " I said with a nonchalance I didn't feel.

Once the others were out of the house I asked them to wait for me, but not to come back in.

"Jack I've had enough. This is my house and if you want to stay here fine! But there won't be anymore alcohol in this house," I said.

"What do you mean this is your house? What makes you think you can tell me what I can or can't do? This bottle was almost full a few minutes ago, so why is it empty now?" he asked.

"It's empty because I poured what was in it down the drain. Not only did I pour that one down the drain, but I poured all the booze in this house down the drain, Jack if you want to live here great, but there will never be alcohol in this house again," I said.

He looked at me with raw anger in his eyes. A challenge plain and simple. He didn't say anything, but the displeasure was plan in his face.

"Jack I have here a debit card with a five hundred dollar limit on it. It's for you to buy groceries and your cigarettes with. When the car is again available to you it will work for gas for the car as well. The card is yours, but it does have limitations and those limitations are no alcohol, and no cash. As long as you choose to live here the card is yours to use and the first of every month it will be recharged to five hundred dollars. The rule for living in this house is no alcohol. That includes not only in the house but also on the property," I said.

"You're trying to kill me aren't you? Do you hate me that much?" he asked.

I looked away as a tear started rolling down my cheek, I knew this was going to be hard, but I never realized just how hard. I loved this man so much, and it hurt so much to watch him slowly killing himself with alcohol. Could I hold the hard exterior together long enough, or would I crack. I didn't know, but I knew even if I couldn't this was the way it had to be.

"No Jack, I don't hate you, nor am I trying to kill you. Once in my life I had a father who loved me, a father who cared enough he did all he could to help me grow up into a woman with very high standards. Five years ago that man took a blow that hurt him so much he gave up, he gave up on himself, but more, he gave up on those who loved him most, his wife who stood by him hoping one day he might accept her love again. He gave up on his son, who looked to him as an example of how to live as a man. He gave up on his daughters who he taught to be women. I miss the man I knew as my father and you stole him. I want him back, if you think I'm being mean and trying to kill you it's because I want my daddy back, not the drunk I see now," I said.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, but now I didn't even try hiding them. If he saw them maybe he would understand how hard this was for me, maybe he might understand just how much I really loved him. He looked up at me and started crying as well, it was as though he hadn't realized just what it was he was doing to mom and I, the fact he was destroying himself didn't matter, but to find out he hurt mom and I... he tried to get up, but fell back on the couch. I walked over to him giving him a hug and assuring him I still loved him and believed in him. He hugged me back and cried even harder.

He agreed to accept the offer I made him, hoping maybe just maybe he might be able to again be the man he had been. When we left the house with the things I would need he wished me the best saying how much he loved me. He said he would try being the man I had loved so much again, and thanked me for giving him the chance to at least try being that man again.

I talked to the people that wanted the designs I wanted in the show, and they were surprised I was still willing to make the outfits since they knew I was now going to be a big time designer. I thought of the surprise they showed and thought of all the outfits I'd made over the years. Why were they surprised? Hadn't I always filled the orders I had in the past? Why wouldn't I do so now, just because I was now employed by a big fashion company, did that mean my customers didn't mean anything to me? I asked them if they would be willing to choose something else and received strange looks from them. Both were more than willing to choose something else, something I wasn't sure I would ever put on the runway, but planned on putting into production.

All the fashions I'd made over the years I planned to put into production, even those someone else had come out with saying they were theirs. How could I not, when I had been the first to have made the design.

We got everything settled in the apartment and Cindy moved in asking if it was okay if at home she was only herself. I looked at her wondering who else she might be since to me she was herself whether she dressed as Cindy or as Chuck. To me she was a friend and it didn't matter to me who she was, as long as she was honest with herself.

When I rented the apartment I did so by paying the rent for one year in advance, I knew I would only be there for a few months, but they insisted on a one year lease so I paid for the whole year in advance letting them know I would be leaving for New York in a few months and the person who was going to room with me would be staying at least until the lease was up.

I finished the orders I had refusing to take any new orders since I knew I had to concentrate on the show I had coming up. Several people tried coming to me hoping I might be willing to take on new orders only to find they had to deal with my friends and I wasn't taking on anymore then I had currently. My friends refused to even think of letting anyone try placing an order telling them if they were willing to pay some ungodly amount they might actually get to talk to me, but no promises as to me taking on anything new.

I had no intention of taking on anything new. As it was I didn't have time for everything. At school I found everyone trying to be my friend as word got out I bought Paula's new car and traded her straight across for the Malibu she had been driving. None of them understood there was more involved in that deal than just the money. Paula had proven she was my friend before I had any money, she accepted me even when she was the one who had the extra. I avoided most of those hoping to be my friend just so I would give them what they didn't deserve. Yes, I had money now! Yes, I used my money how I wanted! Yes, my friends shared in my good fortune! My friends shared in my good fortune because, they were my friends even when I was still considered to be a nobody. That was what these others didn't understand, those who I shared with had earned my trust, they had been willing to share with me when they were the ones with the surplus. No, I wasn't buying friendship. Friendship that had to be bought wasn't friendship, if the money ran out that kind of friend was gone without even a goodbye. That kind of friendship wasn't worth anything, but how much you had in the bank, and how much you were willing to give to the so called friend.

After a couple weeks the fair weather friends were gone, not that they were really ever there. It became clear that to be my friend required something they weren't willing to give. It required they prove themselves as a friend, not just a sponge.
  8. ##  Chapter 6

The last week before graduation, all the orders I had were completed and delivered, and I was working hard on the up coming show, everything seems to be going great. I talked to dad almost every day about the up coming show and whether, or not everything would be ready. He wants me to come back to New York telling me it would be a good idea if I helped with the choreography for the show. I really want to go back to New York, but one more week and I'll be there full-time so I kept thinking it would be better to wait. He promised he would be here for me on the big day.

Jack was doing really well about giving up alcohol. He had a few set backs the first month, but he hasn't had any over the last month and is starting to look and feel better. I check on him daily and invited him to my graduation as well. He asked when he'd be able to talk to mom and because of how well he was doing I called mom and let them talk for an hour.

Mom promised to be home for my graduation, and said she is very proud of everything I've done to help Jack get his life back on track. She still loves him hopelessly, but that isn't such a bad thing, unless you think of how Jack's been dressing lately. I doubt he told mom yet, but that's between them and I don't feel it's my responsibility to get in the middle.

My cell phone rang snapping me out of the trans I was in thinking of how the last few months had gone. "Hello!"

"Connie, I think it's important you come to New York honey," Dad said.

"Dad we talked about this. One more week and I'll be moving there, can't it wait that long? I've been checking up on everything about the show and from what I can see everything is going great. All the outfits are done except for final fitting and I want to be there for that, but there should be time over the next month to get that done as well."

"Connie I don't think you understand. Yes everything is going great, but there are problems I'm not sure anyone has told you about. The fashions look great, but it seems the models aren't wanting to do the work to make this show what it should be. As the designer and my daughter I want you more involved in what this show is about," Dad said.

"Tell me what the problems are dad. Dad? If you can't give me a better idea of what you're talking about I won't even think of coming to New York until after I graduate, and maybe not even then," I said.

He didn't say anything, what could he say?

After a few minutes. "Connie there's a model here that wants to talk to you. I banned her from our runways a couple years ago and I think she's hoping maybe you will over ride me on that ban. She was one of the best models I ever had, but she got involved in drugs," he finally said.

"Dad I'll be there in the morning," I said. "What's the real reason you want me there?"

He never said anything more other than he loved me and would see me in the morning. I called the flight crew and told them to have the plane ready for first thing in the morning. At lunch I talked to Erin and let her know I needed to go to New York and would do my best to be back in time for graduation. I also told her if her and the others wanted to come with I'd welcome the company, but this was something I had to do.

After school Judy, Paula, Cindy, and Erin all ganged up on me wanting more details of why I needed to go and how long I planed on being gone. I let them know I wasn't sure how long I would be gone, but would try to be back in time to be at our graduation if at all possible. By the time everything was settled Paula and Judy said they were going with me while Erin and Cindy said they wished they could, but due to things they were involved in they wouldn't be able to. I told Judy and Paula they needed to be ready to go by five o'clock in the morning because the flight crew wanted to be in the air by six if at all possible.

The next morning the car picked me up at four thirty and then Judy and Paula at five. We were at the airport and ready to go by five thirty and in the air by quarter to six. Once we were in the air the visions started again and I went back to the bedroom and just let them come, asking the flight attendant to be sure I was up about an hour before we landed.

********

"Monique be reasonable, this show is ready to go and you aren't part of the cast. I promise if you prove to me you can leave the drugs alone between now and the next show I'll let you be part of that show," I said.

"Mademoiselle please I beg of you," Monique said.

"Monique I want to believe you, but you are asking the impossible here. It has only been six months and with how heavily you were into the drugs... I promise, stay clean and the next show I will give you the top design to wear on the runway. We're talking two months tops and the ban dad put on you will be lifted," I said.

"Thank you mademoiselle, I will not let you down. You are the first to give me a chance, thank you."

********

An hour before the plane landed I came back out and joined Judy and Paula.

"You okay Connie?" Paula asked.

" _Yes!_ _I'm_ _fine._ _I_ _think_ _it's_ _just_ _the_ _flight_ _that_ _bothers_ _me_ ," I said.

"Connie would you care to try that again in English?' Judy asked.

Here we go again, why is it every time I have one of these visions I start speaking French? "We are about an hour outside of New York I take it?"

"Yes we are Miss Carlson. The captain has asked we put everything away, the air is a bit rough," Christine, the head flight attendant said. "Miss Carlson do you have any idea how long we'll be in New York?"

I let her know I needed to be back home in a week, but other than that I wasn't sure of much of anything at this point.

On the ground dad met us and took us to get checked in at the hotel, he told me he scheduled an appointment with Monique Deveaux in the morning. "Monique I can't put you in this show, your slip made that a sure thing. If you can leave the drugs alone I promise the show after this you will be my star model." So the vision on the way here was to help prepare me for the up coming meeting with Monique Deveaux. If this was how the visions worked, bring them on, I could see them more a help then a hindrance if they led me into how to better help others.

I told dad since I was here I wanted to go to my office, I had several things to take care of now that I was here in New York, the least of which was the up coming show. I wanted to know how it was going setting up the appointment with Marie, but not enough to ask. If it was the Marie I had seen in my visions I was going to meet her in Paris.

Once at the offices I headed for my office stopping to talk to some of the people working on clothes for some of the other designers. I looked over some of them and smiled knowing this would all be mine one day. Thinking of how to help those who would work for me was something I wanted to establish as soon as possible. Not all the designers we had were capable of coming up with original designs, but that didn't make them any less valuable to the company. Many of them could take old designs and making small changes bringing them into today's fashions. In my view just as important as anything I did.

Once in my office I started going over the plans for the up coming show. Who the models were and what each of them was going to be wearing. I started thinking of what I could do to let them know how much I appreciated the long hours and hard work they were putting in to make the show the best it could be.

I was making fifteen percent of what the outfits sold for on the runway, and only paying the models a token sum in comparison. Wasn't it the models who made it possible to get the high dollars off the runway? Wasn't it their hard work that showed the fashions so people were willing to pay the big money?

What about those who worked so hard making sure the designs fit properly so when the models moved the fashions moved how they were meant to move? Didn't they deserve a share as well? It wasn't all about me, this was about the team. I may have been the one with the ideas, but it was the rest who made the ideas work.

I pulled several files on shows like the one I was doing, figuring out what the fashions had gone for. By the time I was done with the numbers I decided a good way of sharing with my team was to take five percent and divide it among those involved in putting the show together. I figured another five percent for those behind the scenes, sharing it equally among the members of the team. If this worked I decided I would do the same with every show I had after this.

About five o'clock someone knocked on the door of my office. I looked up and smiled, the appointment was for tomorrow morning, but here stood Monique at my office door.

"Come in Monique," I said.

She opened the door and stepped in.

"Mademoiselle knows me?" She looked puzzled, trying to remember if we had ever met before.

I giggled. "No Monique, we have never met, but yes I know who you are, at least by reputation."

She looked at me, not understanding how it was I could have had any idea who she was.

"Mademoiselle I wish to talk about modeling for you. If you know me by reputation, you know I was the best at one time," she said.

"Yes Monique I do understand you were one of the best. I also know that you got mixed up in drugs and were banned from most of the runways around the world. I know there aren't any photographers willing to work with you as well," I said.

"Mademoiselle you do not know, I did not choose to be involved with the drugs. I did not wish to have the drugs in my life," she said.

"Then why don't you tell me what happened so I can know. Monique I would love to have you model for me, but as long as the drugs are part of your life I can't. If you'll have dinner with me I'll be ready to hear the story and help if I can," I said.

She accepted my dinner offer, and even told me a good French restaurant she knew of. I looked at her wondering if she knew about my aversion to Italian food. I didn't think about the fact that Monique was French, I just knew that was the kind of food I was craving lately, and it seemed everyone wanted me to eat anything but French food. I thanked her for her recommendation and told her I needed to see if those I was here with were interested, or had other plans. I called the hotel and talked to Judy inviting her and Paula to join us if they wanted. They said they would love to join us as long as they didn't have to eat anything weird like snails. What was wrong with escargot? I rather enjoyed it, okay, yes, it seemed strange at first, but now I liked it.

We swung by the hotel and picked them up and headed for the restaurant. Once there the maître d' asked for our reservations. Right! I should have known we would need reservations and we didn't have any. I asked if there was any chance of getting a table without reservations and found out rather quickly that no reservations meant no table. As we turned to go the sleeve of my dress pulled up exposing both my birthmarks. I apologized for any inconvenience we may have caused while trying in vain to pull my sleeve back down so my birthmarks were covered.

"Miss may I help you?" an elderly lady asked.

" _Madam_?" I said.

"Sister of Life. I am your servant, if I can help it is my pleasure," the woman said.

" _We_ _were_ _hoping_ _to_ _dine_ _at_ _this_ _fine_ _restaurant_." I replied.

"Yes, Child there is always a table for you here," she turned to the maître d'. "Monsieur this child and her friends they are to be given the family table always."

The family table? Did she mean to give me priority over the family of the restaurant owners?

" _Madame_ _I_ _can_ _not_ _take_ _the_ _family_ _tables._ _Please_ _if_ _you_ _have_ _another_ _table_ _that_ _will_ _be_ _perfect_." I said.

She looked at me and the group with me and laughed. That I would be willing to settle for less than the best didn't seem a surprise to her. She reached for my left arm and brushed the sleeve up again exposing both birthmarks. "Dear you shall sit were you choose tonight, choose a table and it will always be available to the Daughter of Life," she said.

She had now called me by both titles. She saw the top birthmark and knew what it meant, or she wouldn't have used the Daughter of Life title with me, that I was sure of.

" _Madame,_ _can_ _I_ _ask_ _why_ _you_ _call_ _me_ _the_ _Sister_ _of_ _Life,_ _the_ _Daughter_ _of_ _Life_?" I asked.

"Is that not who you are? I call you this to show my respect for the Chosen of God only," she said.

" _You_ _can_ _see_ _the_ _top_ _birthmark_?" I asked.

"Yes, I think it is that you wish me to see it, or I would not see it. You are come into your Power, no?" she asked.

" _I_ _do_ _not_ _know_." I said.

"Dear, how well do you know French?" she asked.

" _I_ _do_ _not._ _Why_?" she asked.

"I ask only because everything you have said to me has been in French. I did not think you spoke to me in French because you chose to do so, but because in your Power it is the language easiest for you," she said.

I looked at my friends and saw they hadn't been able to follow what I said. So that was why I spoke French like a native of France. In my Power I was a native of France using the language that was easiest for me to use. Now it made sense, but how was I going to control it. I needed to be able to use either English or French depending on who I was talking to and who was around.

" _You_ _have_ _been_ _using_ _English,_ _madame_?" I asked.

"Yes. We are in America and English is the language that is most common here so I use the English so more peoples can understand me, and so I can learn the English better," she said.

" _Thank_ _you_ _madam._ _I_ _appreciate_ _this_ _so_ _much._ _It_ _seems_ _that_ _French_ _food_ _is_ _all_ _I_ _am_ _able_ _to_ _eat_ _anymore,_ _so_ _thank_ _you_ _for_ _making_ _a_ _table_ _available_ _to_ _me._ _May_ _I_ _ask_ _in_ _the_ _future_ _that_ _you_ _call_ _me_ _by_ _my_ _name_ _of_ _Connie_ _rather_ _then_ _my_ _titles_." I said.

The woman agreed then turned to Monique and scowled. "If you were not with Connie you would not be allowed here mademoiselle. I tell you before we have no use for your kind here," she said.

" _Madam_ _she_ _made_ _a_ _mistake,_ _but_ _I_ _do_ _not_ _think_ _the_ _blame_ _is_ _all_ _hers._ _Tonight_ _I_ _hope_ _to_ _hear_ _the_ _truth_ _from_ _her_ _about_ _what_ _has_ _been_ _done._ _I_ _know_ _she_ _is_ _a_ _treasure,_ _for_ _my_ _daughter_ _shall_ _have_ _her_ _name_ _as_ _well_ _as_ _the_ _name_ _of_ _my_ _mama,_ " I said.

She seemed to be surprised by that, but she didn't look to be the only one surprised by it. Everyone seemed to question what I said though I knew as I said it I was right. When my daughter was born she would be named Marie Monique. How I knew that, I wasn't sure, but I knew it was right nonetheless.

I picked a table that was out-of-the-way, one that had good lighting, but wouldn't have a lot of traffic. It was close to a window and offered a beautiful view of the city. There were speakers near it so the music was easily heard, but didn't over power any conversation that might be taking place.

We took our seats and glanced at the menus finding they were in French so Monique was the only one able to read them. I let her know Judy and Paula neither wanted escargot, but most anything else would be fine, I also told her I wanted escargot, that I found them to be very tasty and I loved them. The waiter took our order and asked if we cared for wine as well. I wanted to say yes, but Monique was the one ordering, so I kept quiet.

Once the food was served I asked the waiter to let us have time to eat and then talk before he came to gather the dishes. He poured each of us wine giving Monique a full serving and the rest of us a small portion then adding water to bring it to a full serving. I hated watered wine, but the fact we were allowed this much was better than not at all.

"Monique, now that we have our food and privacy how about sharing with me what happened," I said.

She started by telling me how it was she got into modeling. How she as a small girl did her first fashion show on the runways of Paris, enjoying the feel of the lights the click of the cameras. She worked so hard to move up in the modeling business so by the time she was in her late teens she was modeling all the European runways. She was offered the chance to come to America which she knew would open her to the world. Even when she reached the world stage she worked hard to stay at the top. It hadn't been the money that interested her as much as the desire to prove she was the best.

It was the runways that moved her to the top, but she felt the drive to move beyond the runways and into the world of pictures. She started working with the different photographers doing magazine layouts for different designers. Her favorite designers to work for had all been with Fashionista so when dad banned her it came as a very hard blow to her. She considered suicide several times, but always hoped one day to be able to get back into modeling and working for Fashionista exclusively. Shortly after dad banned her she tried to talk to him about what it would take for her to again return to the runways for him and his company. She said he told her the chances of her ever working for him again were not good, but that maybe his daughter would be willing to take a chance on her one day.

The whole time she was telling me her story I measured her words trying to find any untruths in them, and found none. Everything she told me was true, or at least it was true to the best of her knowledge, the thing is she hadn't told me how it was she got mix up in drugs, and that was what I thought was the reason for this meeting. How was I going to help her if she couldn't tell me how, or why she was mixed up in something she said she didn't want.

"Monique this is all very interesting, but what is it you hope to gain here?" I asked.

"Mademoiselle I hope we can find a way for me to be able to model again," she said.

"Monique I would love to help, but with what you have told me..." Everything went black and then pictures of Monique working on a photo shoot for another fashion house came into view.

********

"Monique we need those shots just as they're laid out."

"I do not pose as a nude model, if this is what you wish, you should find the girls that do this kind of posing, Monique does not."

The scene skipped to somewhere else, still about the photo shoot Monique was working on, but Monique wasn't in the scene this time.

"Boss you ain't going to get her to do it if you don't use the other means," the photographer said.

"She drinks a lot doing these shots doesn't she?"

"Yes sir she does." Their voices dropped, but I could still hear what it was they said.

"I want those pictures as soon as possible."

"Doing it this way will take time, time I'm not sure we have."

"We have as much time as it takes. Look they want her out and the pictures will do that, but the drugs will do it as well. A week and she'll be addicted and then she'll be willing to do whatever we want her to just so she can have her next fix."

********

The vision faded and I looked at Monique with understanding. "Monique I am willing to help you if you are willing to put the effort into this you did your modeling career when you first got into modeling," I said.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Mademoiselle believes me that I did not wish the drugs?" she asked.

I let her know I believed her, but I also assured her the hard part was going to be hers. If she wanted to be a model again the first thing she would have to do is get rid of the drugs. Stop taking them, stop going to the places where they were available, in general make changes that showed she wanted to be what she was telling me she wanted to be.

We finished our dinner in silence and I paid the bill. As we were leaving I saw the man who I had seen in the vision standing there waiting for Monique to come out of the restaurant. I went up to him and told him Monique was now under my protection and if I saw him near her again I would see to it he never bothered anyone ever again. I then turned and walked away, leaving him wondering just who I was to make that kind of threat.

We headed back to the hotel with Monique and carried the conversation on into my room where I had enough.

"Monique I have placed you under my protection. If those men get near you I will know and deal with them," I said.

"Mademoiselle I hear what the lady at the restaurant call you, but I do not understand. The stories I hear when I was small child say no one can be both Sister of Life, and Daughter of Life. How is it that she call you both?" Monique asked.

I wished I had Erin there to field that question for me. I didn't have the answer, I had never heard the stories. Until a short time ago I didn't even know what either title was.

"Monique, Connie is both which is why she was called by both titles," Judy said. "The stories are old and hard to say how accurate they are any longer, but one thing has been consistent throughout all the stories I've heard. In the end one will arise who is marked as both the Sister and the Daughter of Life. To her it shall be a sign that the time of the Lord is near at hand, repent therefore that you not stand at the judgment unrepentant, for all shall be judged in that day."

"To her it is given the judgment that she is able to read the hearts of men and judge the intent of the heart not only the action. She shall stand as an icon before the world of men. A beacon for the world, that should they repent and turn from their ways they shall be saved," Paula added.

"The world shall look upon her and hate her though through her they could be judged. Yet even now she shall not judge saying the judgment is Gods alone, and she, a sinner is not worthy. Many there will be who turn to her and repent turning from their ways of wickedness, to them the judgment is given that they shall have life eternal," Judy said.

"The world shall at her passing kneel down before the throne begging God for mercy for the hate they had given to his servant, begging that she not be taken away from them for they have many evils on which they wish to give to her yet," Paula continued.

"To those who believe on her they shall morn her passing and praise God that he showed such mercy to the children of men as to have sent his servant as a beacon to show the way of salvation. And her name shall be called Sister of Life, Daughter of Life, the first of those chosen among the host to defend the righteous and protect the elect of God." Judy looked around not fully understanding what her and Paula had just done.

Never had I heard the stories of who I was, or who I was meant to be. I thought of the vision of the small girl who stood forth at the call saying here am I Lord, send me. I thought of the other young girl who stepped forward as the call came again saying Lord send me that I might show unto the world your glory in all things. Antoinette how much I wish I could talk to you, how I miss you, the way we played as children in the before time. Has it really been twenty years according to the time of men we have been apart?

"Monique sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we will talk about what you need to do to again be on the runway," I said.

This woman was almost old enough to be my mother, and here I was, treating her as a child. Was I that powerful that others looked to me this much for guidance, as they would their mother? I didn't want to think about what I heard at dinner so slipped into my nightgown and climbed into bed hoping maybe, just maybe I might get a nights sleep without the visions and other things that stole my sleep from me.

"Connie it is well you hear the stories now. You have chosen the path you will walk."

"Michael why do you bother me tonight? Can I not get one nights sleep, one night when I may rest from the visions?"

" I wish this could be the night, but you now know the task you have taken since before time. Would you rest when there is work to do?"

I looked at him and asked what work there was that was so important I couldn't get even one night of rest. Was the work something only the barer of the mantle of life could do? He informed me that tonight would be the night the Lord would bestow on me the fullness of the mantle that was mine to bare. I looked at him with fear in my eyes. The fullness of my Power was to be granted on this night, a night when I wasn't sure I could do all that I knew was mine to do.

"Mom, it's time. I have to go so Antoinette can find the love that is hers."

"No my dear, how can you say that? I love you so sweetheart, please do not leave me."

"Mom I need to talk to Richard. Mom please do not make this harder than it should be. I love you so much, but the time has come."

"Do you understand what it is you are seeing? Do you understand why it is he shows this to you?" Michael asked.

"Michael he shows me so I don't become attached to things that are gifts for a time only. That knowledge doesn't make it any easier to live with, I wish I didn't know this. I wish I could be like so many others who live life hoping for what may not be. For me there is no doubt of the Lord and his goodness, I know that I stood forth and said I could do whatever he asked of me, but then it was easy I had my sister with me to give me strength. Michael I am scared. I feel so weak and vulnerable, then I felt the presence of the Lord, now I feel alone," I said.

" Sweetheart you are never alone," Michael said.

"Don't Michael. Don't tell me what I already know, please. I know I'm not alone, but that doesn't make me feel like I'm not. I know he goes before me to prepare the way, but I still feel like everything needs me to prepare it, like nothing has been done to make ready for what I must do. Michael these visions hurt because I care so much. What I go through here in this one doesn't hurt me, I know I find rest, but what of those I love so much, those I leave behind, I feel I'm leaving them even before I get the chance to become reacquainted with them. I remember my sister Antoinette from before time, how we played, how we loved each other. I remember the day the Lord called and I stepped forward. Michael I wasn't the only one to step forward that day. Antoinette stepped forward as well. As I am the Daughter of Life she is the Daughter of Love. Did you know that Michael? Did you?" I asked.

He stepped back as though hit below the belt. It was plain he wasn't aware I would know this and now he understood. He now knew why I felt so alone, because the person I loved so much wasn't with me. He now understood that I had been born away from those I loved and knew in the before time, all to protect me so I could grow to age, and learn the ways of men, so I could better help those willing to repent. I was lonely not because I didn't know God was always with me, but because those I knew, weren't with me.

Antoinette had been born to the mother we both knew and loved. I had been born to a stranger. The advantage was, I had been the one who grew up knowing the man we both loved so much. I was the one given the chance to share my life with him as we grew into adults. But then again, I hadn't heard from him in two years. Not a single word telling me he loved, or missed me. How it hurt for all that seemed so wrong to me. How much I wanted to share my life with those I loved most, only to be shown that the time I would have with them was short at best.

In the morning I got out of bed feeling just as tired as I did when I laid down. I didn't remember much of anything after the conversation with Michael. Even that seemed more a dream then real. The only thing about the night that felt real was the loneliness I felt. I missed Richard, and didn't understand why he wouldn't at least write me once in a while. Was what we had as kids that unimportant to him? Once he graduated high school, was he such a big shot he forgot all about me. I wanted to feel I belonged and the more I learned about who I was the more alone I felt. I volunteered to be God's servant and do something he would prepare me for, and I felt I was the one doing all the work, work that should have taken place over the span of my life, but hadn't, and now I was playing catch up.

I slowly got ready to take a shower to start the day, and found the shower was occupied. I had the room to myself so who could be using my shower? I sat down and started crying. Everything about my life seemed a lie. All I wanted was my mom and I didn't even know who she was anymore. Was Evelyn my mom, or was she just my mother? I needed to meet Marie, I needed my mom. I needed to know someone loved me. I just wanted to be held.

Once Monique came out of the shower, I was able to get in and take one. I let the hot water run over my body washing away the last of the dreams, bringing comfort to me at least a little. After the shower I got dressed in one of the many suits I had in the room and offered to let Monique pick out whatever she wanted from the closet. At breakfast I asked Monique why she and her brother traded names. She looked at me and frowned.

"Mademoiselle why you ask this?" she asked.

"Monique my name is Connie not mademoiselle. I ask only because I know you haven't had the surgery and I'm curious," I said.

She gave me a look that said she respected me and thus would not call me by my given name.

"Okay mademoiselle Deveaux if you cannot use my name then I will give you the same honor." I smiled at her discomfort of me using such a formal title with her.

"You do not play by the rules Connie. I wish to show you respect and you in turn show it to me," she said.

"Monique I don't mind being referred to as mademoiselle as much as I do when someone calls me ma'am or madame. At least the mademoiselle is the right title since I am a single woman. But for someone who has been offered to use my given name I no longer like the titles used. I need to go into the office for a while, you have the choice of joining me or doing whatever you want. Monique I can't put you on the runways until you have been clean for three months at least. So you fully understand that means no drugs in your system that aren't prescribed by a doctor. And I want a monthly drug test from you. If you can't, or won't agree to these terms I can't help you," I said.

She opted to come into the office with me, I believe she wanted to see how I did things so she knew whether, or not it would be worth it to agree to my demands. I think part of it was she expected me to be older than I am and partly because of what happened the previous night at the restaurant. As I entered the office I asked that someone please get me the phone number for the Paris office and let me know if it was still open or not. As I entered my office Annette handed me a note with the phone number to the Paris office and said yes they were still open.

"Hello."

"Hello this is Connie Beauchea, I was wondering if Marie Bordeaux is available?"

"Moment mademoiselle." I held for a few moments, and the girl came back on. "Mademoiselle she is busy at the moment, may I take a message for her?"

"Yes tell her the Chosen of God wishes to speak with her and that she is waiting." I heard the girl say something about the Chosen waiting and then.

"Hello. This is Marie Bordeaux. Mademoiselle if this is a joke it is not in good taste."

"Mom it is not a joke. I am Connie Carlson, Sister of Life, Daughter of Life the Chosen of God," I said.

The phone was silent for a few moments.

"Mom are you there?" I asked.

"Yes I am here. I wish to know why you call me mom. I do not remember giving life to a second daughter," Marie said.

"No mom, you have only one daughter you gave life to in this life. Antoinette is your only daughter, but she is also my sister," I said.

Another long pause.

"We have not met, but you still call me mom. You say you are a Sister of Life, right? You have seen visions, yes?" she asked.

"Do strangers call you mom often Marie? Yes I have seen visions. Visions of you as my mom and Antoinette as my sister. Marie I need to know when would be a good time to come to Paris to meet with you so you know what I say is true. You have the birthmark of the bird on the left arm. I do also, but I also have the mark of the praying woman just above that mark. Would it be convenient for us to meet in two weeks?" I asked.

We set a time for two weeks away both a bit nervous about what this meeting could mean to either of us. For me it meant being reunited with my family from before time. For her it meant something entirely different I'm sure. She knew the stories. She saw the visions. She knew the prophecies concerning me. What she didn't know was the role her other daughter played in the grand scheme of life. I'd said something to make her question everything she knew, but she saw no lie or malice in any of it.

I called the flight crew telling them we would be heading back home the next morning, then called back to the hotel and letting Judy and Paula know what I needed to get done here was done and we were going back home in the morning. I found dad at his desk and let him know he and I were going to Paris in two weeks because I had a meeting with Marie. I filled him in on the time of the meeting and I wanted him there to help if my French was absent from me, something I didn't think was going to be a problem, but wanted to have covered just in case.

"Monique I was hoping maybe you would come to Paris with me in two weeks in case I need some help to communicate," I said.

She turned to me and gave me a puzzled look as if to say my French was better than hers.

"I would be delighted to return to Paris with you Connie. I do not think that I can be of much help for you though. I have heard you speak the French and I would not know you did not come from France, if you did not tell me," Monique said.

I again had visions on the way back home and laid down asking the flight attendant to let me know when we were an hour out so I could rejoin the others. As we landed the full impact of graduation and moving to New York hit. I'd already moved out of the house I spent so many years in as a child, but this move to New York would put me on my own completely.

After dropping off Judy and Paula I asked the driver to take me out to see Richards parents. I wanted to know if he knew I was moving to New York and if so how I could write him to keep him informed of the changes in my life. As we pulled up to the house Gwen came out and met me.

"Connie I didn't expect to see you until your graduation," she said nervously.

I looked around and spotted a new truck sitting over by the horse corals. "Is Richard here?" I asked.

He walked out of the barn and stopped seeing me standing there. He came over giving his mom a hug asking what time dinner would be ready because he needed to go to town. He didn't look at me, or even acknowledge I was there, until Gwen asked him where his manners were.

"It's been a while Connie," he said. "I hope you've been doing well."

I looked at him and wanted to cry. He hoped I had been doing well. HE HOPED I HAD BEEN DOING WELL! How dare he, for the last two years I sent him updates on my life and now all he can say is I hope you've been doing well. I turned and headed for the car, all I wanted to do was cry, the man I loved with all my heart couldn't say more than he hoped I had been doing well. Here this whole time I had dreamed of the day when we would be able to be together again and he didn't want me any longer. I was to immature for him now since he was some big shot in the Air Force and I was still in high school.

I took three steps and stumbled. The tears were running down my cheeks and I hurt all over. Was I destined to live my life in service to everyone, without any hope of ever finding any joy for myself?

A strange woman walked out of the house just as I reach the car.

"Connie please, we need to talk." Richard said.

I turned to him the tears still flowing unchecked. "What do we need to talk about Richard? For the last two years it has been like I don't exist to you. I've written to you no less than once a month and in all that time I haven't gotten anything in return. I never gave up on you Richard, but it appears you've given up on me."

The strange woman walked over and put her arm around his waist reaching up and kissing him. He stepped away from her and came over to me.

"Do you love her Richard?" I asked.

"We need to talk. Please!" he said.

He took my hand and led me to the corals. As we past his mom and girlfriend the sleeve of my blouse came up exposing both birthmarks. I heard his girlfriend gasp as she watched me struggle to pull down my sleeve. I looked over at her and smiled, letting her know I knew of her status with the Sisters of Death. She glared at me realizing that she had no chance of accomplishing what she'd hoped to accomplish. Richard and his family were under my protection and nothing she could do, could get her past those protections. To even try would be foolish of her as it would mean meeting me at the throne of judgment, something I was sure she didn't want to do.

Richard picked out two horses and saddled them as Ruth came over to me and asked if it bothered me that the man I had been promised to was now hers. I turned to her and let her know that holding on to Richard was something she didn't want to do if she valued him and the relationship she was trying to have with him. If she intended to have him simply because he had been promised to me she would learn to regret the day she made that choice. From the way she smiled I think she thought it was me she needed to fear. I knew however that I wasn't the one she needed to fear. Richard wouldn't be owned by anyone, and anyone who tried would live to regret the day they tried.

Richard brought the horses over and I took Saturn the one I rode most often when I visited. He mounted Zeus his pride and joy, or at least he had been the last time I had ridden with him. We headed for the spot we always went stopping not at the pond as we usually did, but instead at the villa he made for me.

"Connie there hasn't been a day I haven't thought of you," he said. "I'm mixed up in something and had to hide you from my thoughts as much as I could. Connie I love you so much, but it would be very dangerous for me to let anyone know," he said.

"Richard you tell me that being a part of deaths mistress is dangerous for me, but then you bring home a Sister of Death? Which do you think is more dangerous to me? I can tell you it isn't the enemies you have through your work with deaths mistress. Compared to that witch you brought home those enemies are nothing. The funny thing is it isn't me who is in trouble if she chooses to use her powers against someone you love. The person most at risk is your own mother, Richard your mom is a Sister of Life. To you that might not mean much, but to her it means a lot. The Sisters of Life and the Sisters of Death are mortal enemies. They've been enemies since the time of Christ. I'm sure Ruth would have given anything to have met me six months ago before I started coming into my Power as the Daughter of Life," I said.

"Mom told you her name? Mom hates her she said she'll betray me the first chance she gets," he said.

"Maybe you should listen to your mother then Richard. Didn't you see the look she gave me when the mark on my arm was uncovered. Richard there is another mark above the one that is like the one your mom has. Did your mom ever tell you the stories of the Chosen One of God?" I asked.

He thought about it and shook his head that she had. So now the circle was complete everyone I loved had heard the stories about me, but no one told them to me, I had been left to discover the truth for myself.

"Richard I am the Chosen One, those stories are about me. I'm the one who is both a Sister of Life, and the Daughter of Life. Nothing on this earth can harm me except the betrayal of the one I love more than life," I said.

He looked at the villa counting the phases in which it had been built. "Do you remember when I finished this? I knew that nothing in this life could hurt you except me. It's because I'm so afraid for you I have chosen to marry Ruth. You asked me if I love her, no I don't, but I do love you. I can't drag you into what my life has become, it wouldn't be fair to you, or the love we've shared," he said.

I started crying because I knew he was trying to protect me from something he feared, something that held no power to harm me. The only thing that could harm me in this world was him, was for him to ever say he didn't love me, and mean it. Oh how foolish the ways of men could be. Couldn't he see that I had nothing to fear as long as he loved me. I looked at the bond we'd create so long ago and released him from it so he could maybe one day learn to love someone else. I couldn't hold him if he chose to belong to someone else, so I released him from the bond I had with him. I cried even harder as I released the bond wishing that maybe one day he would return the favor and release me as well. I knew to hold the bond robbed him of his right to love as he chose, as much as it hurt it would have hurt more to not set him free. If he truly loved me the bond didn't matter. If he truly loved me he would never forget his love for me even without the bond to remind him.

"Richard I have but one request of you," I said. "I ask that if you marry Ruth it is because you love her, not because you want to protect me from something I need no protection from."

He didn't seem to understand what I meant.

"Richard take my hand and walk with me," I said.

He took my hand and we walked into the French villa he built for me. "Look at the house Richard." as he turned to look at the house the villa became life size. "Those you see won't be able to see or hear you. If you have questions ask and I'll do my best to answer." we turned to the living room.

"I love you, my love, my life."

"They're speaking French. May I ask why?" he asked.

I answered his question telling him what we saw hadn't happened yet, so the events may not be accurate in detail, but something in the event would happen and nothing anyone did could change that. We watched Antoinette came into the room with two children.

"Honey, please do not torture your brother thus."

"Mom he will torture me." the girl replied.

From another room came a mans voice. "My love it's time, everything is ready."

Richard recognized his voice even though the words were in French. "She will be my wife? Connie who is she? Why are you showing me this?" he asked.

"Richard she is my sister, the mother to my children. She is the reason you are still alive to see these two children grow," I said.

"But what about you Connie?" he asked.

I turned to him. "What about me Richard? Does it really matter where I am? Richard, I love you with all my heart, but this will happen, maybe not in this way, but it will happen," I said.

He looked at me and the love that had been there all those years showed in his eyes. "Connie, you're the one I want. No one else just you," he said.

"What about Ruth, Richard? You've made promises to her. Will you now break them? Richard I don't choose what we see, my Power stops once we cross through the veil of time," I said.

He looked around at the villa more closely, noticing the details how it matched with the villa he'd built me.

"Richard I so miss my sister. I wish she did not have to leave us as she did."

"We will always have the memories dear. She is always with us if we remember what she taught us. The children they grow so big and they tell us the stories of their mother now to help us always remember."

Richard turned to me and turned me to him. "What did they mean Connie? You said she was your sister and the mother of your children. What did they mean about you going away? Where did you go? Why did you leave them?" he asked.

The tears were rolling down my cheeks. He knew the answer to his questions, but he wanted to hear me say it. He wanted to hear me tell him I was dead when this took place. I shook the pain was so great. How much I wanted to tell him all the things I had seen, all the things I knew would take place.

"Richard remember me always. I love you, my love, my life. I love you. I love you," I said.

The world returned to what was familiar, the vision ended with him not wanting to believe what I had shown him to be true, but knowing it was. He wanted to hold me forever, but knew that promises had been made that needed to be fulfilled, promises only he could fulfill. We got back on the horses and rode in silence back to the house. Once at the house I asked Gwen why she hadn't at least tried to teach me about my Powers as a Sister of Life.

"Connie I wanted to, but even as a child your Powers outstripped mine. How was I to teach you what I couldn't begin to understand. So many times I feared for you and now I see that you have taken on your full Power, not only the Power I have, but the full Power of the Chosen. I can't even begin to imagine what you are capable of now," Gwen said.

I took her hand and again the world changed. What we saw were things that to her before had been only vague impression of what might be, and now she saw them as I did. I showed her how I'd spun a web of protection around her family with Richard being the center of the web. Here Richard had tried to protect me, and in return I did protect him. She was taken aback with some of the things I showed her, so much so she begged me to not show her anymore.

"Gwen I really could have used the stories about me. I've felt so lonely finding out who I am from others. It seems most everyone I know has heard the stories as long as they can remember, but the stories are all new to me, mom never told them when I was around," I said.

"Connie I never told them because they were about you and I knew it. Your mom on the other hand didn't know, and I never told her. The only reason I can think of is Chris is a girl and so I know she heard them. When I first saw the marks on your arm I couldn't believe what I was seeing. According to all the stories the Chosen was the daughter of both a French mother and father, and the only child and heir as well," Gwen said.

I smiled I was from French parents and I was also dads only heir. "Gwen my father is French, and I am his only heir. It is dad who I got my designing ability from, he's the CEO of Fashionista the largest fashion design company in the world. Why do you think I came here in a car like that one? Dad has already named me his sole heir, and made me president of Fashionista," I said.

She smiled and shook her head. "So the stories I've been hearing are true, you have come into quite a bit of money," she said.

I grimaced, I didn't care one way or another about the money, it just didn't mean anything to me. "Gwen if you want the money, take it I don't care. I use what I need to accomplish what I need to accomplish no more no less. Money is simply a tool I can use to forward the work I have to do," I said.

She looked at me more closely to try determining if I was telling the truth or spinning some story because it was said I had no use for the wealth of this world because I measured my wealth in the friends and family I had.

On graduation day everyone I sent invitations to showed up. Richard sat with dad while mom sat with Jack. I was puzzled why mom and dad had chosen not to sit together. Had something happened that they hated each other? Were they simply here because I asked them to be? A tear rolled down my cheek.

I had been asked to speak at the commencement and given my choice of topics, all of which were meant to encourage the class to work hard to get an education, and believe that anything was possible. I still wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I had a good idea it wasn't going to be anything those who asked me to speak would want any part of.

"Connie are you ready?" Erin asked. She to had been asked to speak since she was graduating top of the class.

"Yeah, I'm ready, but I doubt anyone is ready to hear what I have to say. Erin the only reason they want me to speak is because I'm the daughter of a wealthy business owner and happen to be his only heir," I said.

"Come on Connie there has to be more to it then that. So what topics did they give you?" she asked.

"Not the one I'm speaking on. I'm sure there will be problems once I start talking. Erin they wanted me to talk about working hard to get ahead. Yeah, I agree everyone should work hard, but if the only reason is so you get rich with money then you have a better chance getting rich by birth. Everyone in our class is already richer than many adults will ever be. They aren't rich because they have money, in fact it's usually those with the least money who are the richest," I said.

"Please Connie don't give a sermon," she said.

"Erin what am I supposed to do? You've known why I am here longer then I have. Should I deny who I am just so a few arrogant people who know nothing of true riches are placated? I can't do that, it goes against my nature, against everything I believe in. You want me to stop being me and try to be someone else? Erin, think about it, with me you've always been able to be just you. How can you ask me to be someone I'm not?" I asked.

She turned away and started walking toward the crowd. I stood there all alone trying to understand why it was everyone hated me for who I am. All I wanted was to save as many as God had given to me to save. Another tear started rolling down my cheek. So many lost souls and those I thought I had reached still didn't understand. Those who knew who I was, and why I was here, didn't understand.

The tears started coming faster with every breath. Every beat of my heart brought new tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped the tears away and walked over to stand in line with the others who were graduating. I tried not to think of anything but putting one foot in front of the other, as the names were called off for us to come up and receive our diplomas.

I received my diploma and walked off the stage. Mom and dad were now sitting together with Richard and his family. The tears started coming again this time tears of joy seeing those I cared for most all sitting together, all my family together in one place. As the last student received their diploma Principal Andrews came to the microphone and announced that two of the students would be sharing words of encouragement and promise with everyone, after which the keynote speaker would address the gathering. He called Erin first letting everyone know how proud he was to have had a student as promising as her graduating.

Erin started off her speech with the standard thank you to all the right people, then stopped.

"Today I want to acknowledge the one person who made the biggest difference in my life. The person who when the rest of the world was telling me who I should be, allowed me to just be myself. I never realized just how great a gift this person had given me until just a few moments ago, when I tried to take that away from them. This person has touched so many lives here in this school, always telling people to be who they know themselves to be, even when it goes against everything the world believes."

"I grew up hearing stories about this person, a person so special they never made them-self better than someone else. The stories all told how this person had the ability to look into the hearts of others and know the truth of their actions. The stories also told that while this person had that unique ability they never used it to judge another person. How even in the times that judgment was needed they refrained saying they weren't worthy because they them-self was a sinner."

"Not long ago I heard a new story from this person, a story that tied all the other stories together making them into a tapestry of love unlike any the world has seen in two thousand years."

"I want to thank my best friend for putting up with me since kindergarten. I want to thank her for always being there for me when I didn't think I could go on anymore. Connie I want to say just how sorry I am for what I said just before the graduation started. I believe in you to make the right choice in what you say here today. I know whatever it is I need to hear it. Thank you Connie! Thank you for being my friend."

The audience stood giving her a heart felt thank you for the words she spoke. Words that really didn't give hope unless you were willing to allow others to define who they are, and accept them for who they said. Principal Andrews came back to the microphone and introduced me as the next speaker, telling everyone he was glad he didn't have to follow Erin after her heart felt speech.

I stepped to the microphone and looked out over everyone sitting there. The memory of the fashion show came back about how I had prepared so hard what I wanted to say, then got in front of the microphone and forgot all of it. This time was different though. This time I hadn't spent hours preparing some speech that really didn't mean anything. No, this time I hadn't prepared anything at all.

" _Thank_ _you!_ _Thank_ _you_ _very_ _much._ _It_ _is_ _with_ _great_ _honor_ _that_ _I_ _am_ _standing_ _here_ _today,_ _I_ _did_ _not_ _know_ _what_ _to_ _say_ _when_ _Erin_ _gave_ _her_ _speech._ _I_ _do_ _not_ _know_ _that_ _I_ _am_ _worthy_ _of_ _the_ _praise,_ _she_ _gives_ _me_ _today_." The principal came up to me asking why I was using French to give my speech. I looked out at the crowd and realized that most of them had no idea what I just said.

"If you will excuse me I didn't mean for that to come out in French some times I just loose myself when I get a little nervous. If you will bare with me here I'll try that again."

"Thank you! Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. It is with great honor I stand here today on the cusp of adulthood and still being a child."

"I want to take this opportunity to tell Erin I forgive her for the comment she made earlier. I was a little disappointed, but do understand the reason behind the comment."

"I remember all through school how it seemed nothing I ever did would amount too much of anything. I remember all the kids here and those who graduated ahead and who will graduate behind us. I remember watching each of the little cliques, how we all found those we felt most comfortable around, how those groups changed as people came and went. I withheld myself from those groups in part because I didn't really fit in with any of them. To me each of those groups had an agenda, it drew on the strengths of those in the group. I didn't have the strengths for any of them, once we reached high school I didn't have the luxury of being able to spend much time with parties, or outings of any kind. I had a man I had been betrothed to the day I was born, and to me that betrothal still means a great deal. When you grow up knowing you will be married to someone you learn to love that person and finding someone else never seems right, not even for the class dances."

"I know most of you have wondered why I never attended the dances, the answer is really very simple the man sitting with my mother and father is the man I was betrothed to the day I was born. Richard was two years ahead of us in school, and lived out in the country, so we didn't have a lot of time together through the school year. Two years ago when he graduated we promised we would stay in touch, that we would hold ourselves for each other alone. Richard left to go in the Air Force, and was selected for the Air Force special services. He made a lot of powerful enemies and it became prudent that he not write me any longer. We had been each others world for all our lives, but now it was time to see the rest of the world. The woman sitting next to Richard is his fiancée and if I'm not mistaken they are to be married next month."

"When I was asked to get up here and talk to you I was given a couple topics they thought I should talk on. I would love to say that working hard will get you ahead, but it might not. I would love to say that giving everything you have to someone will keep them by your side forever, but it might not. I would love to say the classes we had to take to reach this point in our lives prepared us for the world around us, they didn't. I know all this because it wasn't the hard work I did that got me where I am, it did help, but it didn't get me here by itself, it helped that my father happens to be the owner of the worlds largest fashion design company, that had more to do with me being where I am now then all the hard work I've done. The hard work made it possible in that it allowed me to survive the times when there wasn't much money. The love can't hold another person to you because that person has the right to choose who they want to love. I was betrothed to Richard all my life, I gave all my love to the dream of having him always by my side. Now he is marrying someone else. Richard I wish you and Ruth all the best life has to offer."

"The classes we've taken didn't prepare us for the future any more than the games we learned to play did. Ask Judy, Paul, Chuck, or Erin. Any of them can tell you what it's like in New York City, I know they can because they went there with me. We live our lives here in this city and think we have everything. This city is little more than just a big town. There is a big world out there. A world were the games we played as children don't have rules. The rules we learned in school are foundations on which to build, they are the groundwork by which we grow. Once you leave these halls the rules change, you don't have the luxury of having Principal Andrews watching over things making sure everyone is playing by the rules. No, the things we learned here are only the start of what we need out there in the world, but they are a good start. They are a solid foundation for us to build on."

"Erin told of stories she learned while growing up, stories of a person who would have the Power to look into the heart of a man and know the true intent of his heart. The only person I ever heard such stories about lived two thousand years ago. To him it was given the Power to judge and his judgment was righteous because he never sinned, he lived a perfect life. He isn't the person she was talking about though, no, the person she was talking about was female, but she also said that while this person had the Power to judge she refused to judge, because she saw herself as a sinner. I'm here to say we are all sinners, we all make mistakes. What will set us apart though is if we can learn from those mistakes. If we can learn to be more accepting of others. If we can defend those who aren't as fortunate. If we can learn to forgive someone for their mistakes. Yet more importantly if we can learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes."

"The world is a big place, not everyone will understand. It is the job of those willing to learn, to live, and love to show the rest of the world a better way, a way where peace exists because we choose to accept the differences of others. A way where love is shown not only to those you agree with, but even those you don't agree with. Allow for mistakes to happen, because we all make them. Forgive freely because to not forgive is to carry a burden that isn't ours to carry."

"Thank you for this time to share a few of my thoughts, a few of my ideas of what it will take for each of us to succeed, for each of us success is measured differently. For me success is measured not in how much money someone has, but instead in how much love they give. To those who are more interested in how much money my family is worth I do not have the answer here, but I can tell you it isn't much compared to the love we have for each other," I said.
  9. ##  Chapter 7

With graduation over, all I wanted to do was escape. The speaker they had after me didn't really say anything most of us cared to listen to. Yes there might have been a few who were interested, but for the most part none of us listened.

Erin and Cindy invited me to go out with them to a party they said everyone was attending. I thanked them, and as graciously as I could turned them down. I wanted to spend this night with Richard, but I knew that couldn't be. So many plans gone, without any hope of getting them back. Tonight was supposed to be special, but for me it was just another night alone.

I called the crew for my plane to see what time in the morning they would be ready to go, and found they were ready to go whenever I was ready. I asked them to meet me at the airport, I didn't have any reason to stay here any longer. School was over, my friends all had plans with their loved ones, dad returned to New York as soon as the main event was over. Mom wanted to spend time with Jack catching up on everything that had been going on since she left. Richard and Ruth left as soon as I got done with my speech, and Richards family left shortly thereafter. There was nothing left for me here, everything that had held me was gone now. I found my way to my car and saw the limousine sitting there so headed instead for the limousine.

As I approached the door opened and Paul stepped out.

"That was a beautiful speech you gave. Need a ride?" he asked.

I smiled and thanked him for the compliment, and the ride. He asked where I was going and I told him the airport.

"No partying?" he asked.

"Who am I supposed to party with Paul? My friends don't need me hanging around, and I don't need them feeling sorry for me just because I don't have a date. I'm headed to New York if you want you can ride back with me," I said.

"Connie you're the whole reason I'm here. I came to warn you that my brother is very upset with you about Monique," he said.

"That thug is your brother?" I asked.

"Yeah. I am not going to say he's very smart, but he is dangerous. Connie I can't hold him in check long, sooner or later he's going to try getting you, or someone you care about, and I'm not sure I'll be able to stop him," he said.

"Paul thanks for telling me. You know if he comes after me what he'll face, the thing is he'll face the same thing going after someone I have under my protection, that includes all my friends and family. Paul you're included in that, I've considered you a friend from the first time we met," I said.

"Don't include me to fast Connie. I'm the one who stole most of your designs over the last three years," he said.

I laughed and smiled. "Paul you know I could sue you for that, and it would cost you a fortune if I did, but then, you already know I'm not going to, don't you? The ride back to New York still stands if you're interested," I said.

"Well in that case, how about I give you a ride to your place to get whatever you need from there, then we can go to the airport," he said.

I took my car back to the apartment with Paul following. It wasn't like I hadn't had the limousine pick me up before, but still everyone seemed intrigued any time a limousine pulled into the parking lot. I ran in the apartment placing the keys to the car on top of a note giving the car to Erin for a graduation present. I grabbed my laptop and the bag I'd packed and headed back out to the limousine. Paul stepped out as the driver took my bag and placed it in the trunk. Paul held the door for me to get in, then climbed back in himself. On the way to the airport I told him about my habit of once in the air going and laying down until we were about an hour out of wherever it was we happened to be going.

He said it was fine he had some things he needed to look into anyway and if the plane was equipped for satellite internet he would likely be busy the whole trip taking care of matters he'd put on hold coming to see me graduate.

True to fashion as soon as we were in the air the visions started again. This time the vision was different however.

********

"Monique this is your show, you and Michelle have earned this more than anyone."

"Connie you do not know how good it feels to be home again."

I smiled. Monique had no idea that to me this was home as well. I knew this was where I belonged, this was where my mom and sister lived and now it was home to me as well. The night of my first show in Paris toward the end of the show I got the call. Dad had died, not ten minutes after the show started and here it was the end of the show and I was just now being notified. Karen dad's secretary said not to worry she knew what to do and would take care of everything until I could get back to New York. I wasn't ready to be the CEO, but with dad gone it was up to me to make sure the company had everything it needed to function properly.

Paul had given me a phone number saying if ever I needed anything call that number and help would be there. I called and a woman answered. "Hello; may I help you."

"Is Paul Merino there?"

There was a small laugh and the woman said no he wasn't, but she had been told to expect my call if she ever heard Jim Beauchea died. "This is Connie isn't it? Connie Carlson?"

Okay who ever this was they knew who I was, but I had no idea who they were. "Yes, I'm Connie Carlson."

"Connie I am Paul's sister Ellen. Connie I know the government is investigating your company."

"Ellen I know they are too. I also know you happen to be the one doing the investigation. I'm now the CEO and need someone to take over as president of the company. Maybe you don't care about this, but I do. I want the corruption out of my company and those responsible to pay for their crimes."

"What are you offering Connie?"

"Ellen less than an hour ago I got a phone call telling me my father is dead, and that as his sole heir and president of the company, I am now the CEO. I don't have any idea how to run a company the size of Fashionista, and could use a little help. Become my company president and I'll give you full access to all the records the company has. I have a plane sitting there in New York that could bring you to Paris so we can talk face to face about what I'm offering if you want."

********

So I now knew dad was going to pass soon, I knew he had been ill and the doctors weren't able to do much more than ease the pain he suffered. I knew this because I found his bottle of pain pills, and wanted to know what they were for. Dad wouldn't tell me so I asked the doctor that wrote the prescription. MS combined with the life style dad lived was leaving him a cripple, but he had cancer too, and that was killing him. I hoped I wouldn't have to watch him slide, but hoped at the same time I would because I wanted as much time with him as I could get. I wanted the corruption inside the company dealt with and I intended to see it was, but how much could I do if dad was still pulling the strings? No. If we somehow managed to get it cleaned up before I took over fine, but it had to be handled, and I knew I needed to bring it up with him.

I got up and came up where Paul was sitting. We still had another hour before we would be landing, but that again proved to be typical of how it was any time I flew. I didn't know if this was how it was going to be every time, but I knew many of the things I needed to accomplish, I was able to accomplish because of this time in visions while in the air.

"Getting everything caught up Paul?" I asked.

He turned to me and smiled. "I was wondering just how much longer we were going to be," he said.

I laughed remembering I told him I went and laid down until about one hour from landing.

"Paul tell me about your sister Ellen," I said.

He sat back looking at the ceiling not seeing it. "I don't have a sister Connie."

I smiled again. "Okay then tell me about your brother Edward," I said.

He gave me a dirty look and cussed under his breath, something about knowing better than to try hiding anything from me.

"Paul don't worry about it I was just hoping for a way of avoiding something I know I can't avoid," I said.

"You've come into your full Power haven't you?" he asked.

"Paul I haven't got anymore power than anyone else. I have accepted the full Power of God that he is willing to allow me, Power few have been allowed, but my power is nothing compared to his," I said.

Compared to his vast Power I would melt away just at the thought. To think how Lucifer changed with just the same amount I had been granted access to. What foolishness to try making yourself god! Thinking to challenge God using his Power as though it were your own. Was this why I had been chosen for this time? Were the children of men trying to make themselves into gods? Was it that the world had slipped so far into darkness that the light of God needed to be shown to men that they might again fall to their knees and worship their creator?

"Ellen is my sister, Connie. It's something we don't talk about," Paul said.

"Do you love her Paul?" I asked.

"I don't really know her. We grew up as brothers her the oldest son of my father. So many things changed as we grew up. Ellen joined the police force and started using the connections she had to the different families to make arrests. She had that information because of who our family is. Understand she never used the information unless she warned someone and they didn't heed her warning. It didn't matter to her what family it was she busted either. She even threw me in jail a time or two. Mario though seemed to be of special interest to her. I don't know how many times she arrested him only to sit there and watch him walk out of jail before she had the paperwork done from booking him."

"About three years after she joined the police force she started transitioning from my brother into my sister. Dad disowned her when she came to him to let him know she was a girl not a boy. Connie she was first in line to take over the family business, even after she joined the police force she was first in line. I tried to stay in contact with her, but was told point blank if I didn't disown her Mario would be the one taking the family business," he said.

The flight attendant showed up as he stopped talking, to let us know the pilot just received clearance to land and it would be best if we buckled in.

Once on the ground I asked him what part his sister had in the investigation of Fashionista.

"Connie your dad and you are the one's everything is leading to. Ellen knows who you are and that's the reason the investigation is stalled right now, Ellen is leading the investigation, she's the one who so far has found everything the government has, she just hasn't turned everything over yet, because of you," he said.

"I want to talk to her Paul. I want to know just what she has and how it could point to me," I said.

I gave Paul a ride home, then went to the office. Something had to be wrong that everything pointed at dad and I. I never even knew who I am until a few months ago, so someone had to have known and done something to implicate dad and I. Could it have been the thousand dollars a month dad had been sending mom? No! That wouldn't make sense, that money would have come from his personal account, or at least that was where it should have come from.

I started going through some of the accounting files I had access to. The files for my up coming show all checked out if everything I was seeing was right, at least there seemed to be receipts for everything. I started looking at some of the other designers accounts and what we had spent on shows and if my show lined up cost wise with most of the other accounts I looked at, then something came up that looked wrong. If what I was seeing was really there someone had been playing with the books trying to hide something. I saved everything to disc figuring on bringing it up with dad in the morning, and wanting to be able to prove what I had found, just in case someone was playing with the books and happened to notice someone had been there looking around. I checked to see who all had access to the accounts I looked at and found dad and I both did, so did all the members of the board and the accounting department. I started going through the accounts one at a time looking only at those accounts the members of the board had access to. I came across a couple other accounts that had anomalies in them again copying them to disc.

By the time I was tired enough to think of getting some sleep everyone was starting to come in. I called up to dads office and got a substitute secretary. I asked if he was in yet.

"I'm sorry ma'am but Mr Beauchea is not available right now may I take a message."

So she thought she could play this game with me. She was about to learn that trying to play games was something I didn't go for, when I called to see if dad was in I expected to be told yes he was, or no he wasn't. I set the phone back in its cradle and headed up to dads office.

"May I help you young lady," the woman behind the desk asked.

"Are you the one I just talked to on the phone? The one who couldn't be bothered to give me a yes or no answer to my question of whether Jim is in? Where's the person who usually sits here? Since I'm here now and can see he is in I think I'll just take a moment to let him know I'm here," I said.

"Miss he's a very busy man. I can't let you in there," she said.

"Really? I guess you have some secret way of keeping me out?" I asked.

I opened the door to dads office and poked my head in. "You busy?" he nodded for me to come in.

"Connie this is Ellen Edwards with the FBI, she's investigating the company for fraud and embezzlement. Miss Edwards this is my daughter Connie," Dad introduced.

"Dad I think we should let Ellen have free access to our system, she might be able to find the corruption we can't," I said.

He looked at me and smiled. "You see Miss Edwards what I have to put up with. Connie I think this is something we should handle internally if we can."

"Dad the thing is I don't think we can. I found this last night," I said setting the discs I made on his desk. "I think if we look at these accounts now however the anomalies I found won't be there any longer, which is why I made theses discs. Dad what I found I have been able to trace back to one of four sources you, me, the board of directors, and the accounting department. I know I'm not the one doing any of this since I just got here last night. I doubt you had anything to do with it because most of the dates and times were while you were sitting with mom at my graduation yesterday. Those in accounting have limited access other than data entry, so that leaves us with the board of directors, and I have no idea if it is just one of them or all of them," I said.

Ellen reached for the discs.

"Miss Edward do you mind if I look at what is on those discs before you take them?" Dad asked.

She sat back in her chair leaving the discs sitting where I put them. Dad picked them up and slipped one in his computer that wasn't tied into the system and brought up the information on the disc. He then brought up the same file on his computer that was tied into the system and we started comparing the information. I had been right the information from the disc had been changed and the anomaly no longer appeared. Ellen smiled she knew dad and I had nothing to do with the information being changed since she had been in dads office since he arrived this morning, and I wouldn't have made these discs if I was just going to cover things up again.

"Mr Beauchea I believe your daughter has just cleared both you and her, either that or the two of you are trying to shift this to someone else. If what Paul Merino has told me about your daughter is true I can't believe she would do anything like that," Ellen said.

"Mind if I ask how it is you place so much value in what someone who runs one of the largest mafia families says, Miss Edwards?" Dad asked.

I sat back in my chair waiting to see if she would tell us she was Paul's sister. As she sat forward I smiled, I knew why she trusted Paul, I didn't think dad did. She looked at dad, then me and sat back in her chair. She saw I knew the answer already, but found it hard to believe Paul would have told me.

"Dad Ellen listens to Paul because he's her brother. Ellen was the one who was in line for leading the Merino family, but instead chose to go into law enforcement. Paul is the only one from her family who didn't reject her other than to say he had trouble believing anyone could suffer the way she does. No Ellen he didn't tell me all of it, but yes I do know the whole story. Both of you have told me now," I said.

I pulled my sleeve up exposing both marks.

She sat there looking at me. How could anyone think to hide something from me when I could look into their heart. She knew though, many would, even she wanted to hide things from me.

"So what Paul said about you is true. Since you have now read in me the truth then you know I never believed you or Jim had anything to do with what I'm investigating. Connie I want to get to the bottom of this and it will be easier if you and your father cooperate. Jim I can't protect either you or Connie if I can't have information showing neither of you are involved, because everything I've found says otherwise, and by your daughters own admission these discs don't say you weren't involved either. Remember Jim, Connie gained the information because she has the access to do just what these discs show," Ellen said.

I smiled at her acknowledging that I am who Paul said I am. Since I was the one who found the information on the discs we looked at dad left it to me about whether, or not we let Ellen have them. I decided in the interest of showing dad and I had nothing to hide I let Ellen have them and promised anything I found in the future I would also be willing to turn over to her as long as she was willing to accept we keep a copy for ourselves.

By lunch time we finally concluded the meeting and I offered to take us all to lunch. I knew Ellen missed seeing her mother, so opted to go to the Italian restaurant owned by her mother in spite of the problems it posed for me personally.

"Madam it is good to see you again," I said to Ellen's mother. "I believe you know my papa and this is Ellen, a very dear friend of mine and Paul's," I said.

Mrs Merino saw that we were seated at the same table I first found out American-Italian food and I didn't get alone. She gave Ellen a very cold look, but didn't say anything to her directly.

I asked for what I had the last time I was there and let dad and Ellen order whatever they wanted. Once the order was placed I excused myself from the table and went to talk to Ellen's mother. This bit about her not accepting her own child was more than I could take, or understand.

"Connie how can you bring that thing here?" Mrs Merino asked.

"That thing? I didn't bring a thing here, I brought your daughter here. Madam, Ellen is your daughter, even if you don't want to accept it. She is a person, even if you wish she weren't. For you to refer to her as less than human is unthinkable to me," I said.

She looked around as though trying to find a place to hide. "Connie, that thing is not a woman it was my son, but now it is nothing," she said.

"So nothing I do matters. You are the one who knew who and what I am the first time I came here. You are the one who said you knew Gods will for me. Is it so easy for you to accept me and yet reject someone I have accepted? Now I can understand why it is Ellen has rejected her family name. Her family has rejected her," I said.

Mrs Merino stood there looking at me not seeing me, she was seeing the past, the past where she had rejected her own flesh and blood, and for what reason? Was it so hard to accept someone for who they said they were? Hadn't she been accepted for who she said she was? Yes what people perceived matched how she defined herself, but she had still been accepted for who she said she was, hadn't she?

"Pardon me Connie, I must have time to think about this. What you say is not easy for me," she said.

I knew it wasn't an easy thing to understand, I didn't expect her to accept it right now, or even over night. I did hope she would think about what I said and come to realize the flaw in her thinking about rejecting someone based entirely on misconceptions from faulty beliefs.

I returned to the table just as the food was brought out. As we ate Ellen kept watching me not sure she trusted me for bringing her to this restaurant. Hadn't she suffered enough at the hands of those she loved already. As we finished lunch Ellen's mom came back out asking if she could talk to Ellen alone. I had a good idea what she wanted, but could see in Ellen's face she didn't have any idea what it was about. Ellen excused herself and went with her mother so they could talk while dad and I had a scoop of ice cream for dessert, and waited for Ellen to return.

Dad and I returned to the office and went over what I could expect at my show in about a month. I reminded him I had an appointment with Marie Bordeaux next week in Paris. He smiled and asked if I'd thought anymore about doing a show in Paris. He wanted me to hit the world stage and I didn't feel I was ready. How could I be ready when I knew he would die the night of my first show in Paris. Maybe if I started in London, or perhaps Hamburg, maybe Stockholm, anywhere but Paris.

"Dad I don't feel ready for Paris yet. I don't feel ready for much of anything yet to be honest. I want Monique in my show when I do Paris the first time. She isn't ready and won't be for at least six months," I said.

I didn't tell him she had to be in my first show in Paris, I didn't see the point. To tell him that would have been like telling him I didn't want to do Paris because he would die the night of my first show there. We worked on getting everything ready for my first show, him telling me I needed to become more involved in it then I had to this point. He thought it would be a very good idea if I made sure I was in attendance at all my shows, telling me it would show the interest I had in assuring what I put on the runway was something I was proud enough of to be there for. How could I argue with his logic when I felt the same way about it. I had always intended to be at my shows. I wanted to be the one ensuring everything went as planned. It wasn't I didn't trust the people putting the shows together as much as being there would make me feel better about what I was doing then just drawing designs and letting someone else take over. I didn't feel I would have been earning my paycheck if I wasn't actively involved in the shows.

We finished going over what I should and shouldn't do when it came to my shows and dad asked me how much I wanted to be involved in the business end of the company. I thought about it and realized that I needed to become involved in that as well, but today wasn't the day for it since I still hadn't had any sleep since the night before my graduation. I told him we would need to talk about that another time, now I needed to get some dinner and then find a bed. He looked at me and realized I was dead on my feet and said he made arrangements for me to use the hotel until an apartment was ready for me. He told me the company had several apartments and tomorrow he would take me to look at them so I could pick out which one I wanted.

I went back to my office and grabbed my bag and computer and called for a car to pick me up out front. Once in my room I called down to room service ordering something light for dinner, while waiting for the food I set up my computer and linked into the system at work. I started going through the files again looking for anything that seemed unusual. When room service showed up I logged out of the system and ate my dinner thinking of why it was whoever was misappropriating company money hadn't been able to be tracked. I called Erin and asked her if it was possible to mark an account so you knew someone had been looking at it.

"Connie it's very possible and almost impossible to detect for someone who doesn't know what to look for. I have a program I can give you that can over ride a program that would do that. Something you might want to do first is use a search tracer program to look for the program and then copy those files without opening them," Erin said.

"How would I do that Erin?" I asked.

"I doubt you could but I could. Connie I can be there to help if you want," she offered.

"You got the graduation present I gave you?" I asked.

"Connie I don't know how to thank you for that, I was so wanting that car and when Cindy and I got back to the apartment and saw the note. Connie I started crying knowing you bought that car with the soul intent of giving it to me didn't you?" she asked.

"Yes Erin I did. I knew you wanted that car, I knew you wanted it as much as Paula wanted that Porsche. Erin it was worth it to me," I said.

"Cindy and I are moving in together. We're talking about getting married," Erin said.

"What about school? You're going to MIT, what about Cindy, last I heard she wanted to be a chef, maybe a restaurant owner," I said.

"We haven't got the details worked out yet, but she wants me to go to school first. Connie she knows if I get my degree I could make enough for her to go to school," she said.

"Then you haven't found the letter I left for her?" I asked.

"What letter Connie?" Erin asked.

"The one granting her a free ride through whatever school she wants to attend. Her schooling is already paid for, all she has to do is pick a school," I said.

About then I heard a squeal, it sounded like Cindy finally found the letter I left for her. I stuck it in her favorite cookbook figuring she would find it sooner than if I put it anywhere else.

"Connie no! You can't do this." Cindy said, having apparently taken the phone from Erin.

"Cindy I can do whatever I want. You have more than earned that scholarship. It was the least I could do to show my appreciation for all you've done for me. Can I talk to Erin again please?" I asked.

"Connie what in the world are you doing? You can't just give everything you have away like this," Erin said.

"Erin I need yours and Judy's help. This system is troublesome at best for trying to find problems. If you had the password or authority to see the system could you maybe suggest how I can do this search faster and easier?" I asked.

"Let me guess you want to do it so you aren't caught by whoever is trying to hide things either?" she asked.

"That would be a big plus. So what will you need to come up with something that can do all that?" I asked.

"Connie can you get your laptop on the system from anywhere?" she asked.

"Of course, there would be no point in having the laptop if I couldn't," I said.

"Your cell phone is still the same?" she asked.

I let her know it was and would be the best way for her to contact me. "Give me a few hours and I'll let you know if it will be easier from there," Erin said.

I let her know everything I needed to get on the system even giving her my password for the system. I knew I didn't need to worry about her doing anything other than looking at the system to come up with a way of solving the problem I had. If the solution worked I was going to see to it whoever these creeps were they would never be able to do anything like this to Fashionista again. The best thing would be if they couldn't do it to anyone again. One thing Erin and Judy had taught me was the more impregnable the system, the more people there would be trying to crack it, and eventually someone would, then the real nightmare would begin. I asked Erin to wait until morning to let me know what she found I was just going to bed since I had gotten up the day before.

The next morning I went into the office about six o'clock, hoping to get something done on working up the next show after the one coming up. I needed to figure out which designs I wanted to use and how I wanted to show them. The up coming show was set already, all we needed was the music. The designs were all in the final stages of being put together so the music was proving to be the biggest obstacle.

********

"Connie I love you my darling. I do not want you to go."

"I understand that mother, but if I do not go Antoinette and Richard will never find happiness."

********

The vision again. The vision that scared me so much the first time I realized what it was about and who it was about. Now though it seemed an old friend. An old friend that reminded me how short life can be. I bowed my head and prayed for guidance, knowing that if anything, God did care and always watched over his children. I knew who I was now, and I had a good idea just what it was I could do if I wore the cloak of my Power, the Power God had given me to help his people find their way. Surrender all and you will live. So profound those simple words, yet so confusing if you didn't know what they meant. Had I surrendered on this? Did I trust God to come through on his promises? I asked forgiveness for the rebellion I had shown in choosing what should, and should not be. How could I have been so foolish to believe I was above anyone when in fact I was beneath most everyone because of the sin I committed without seeking forgiveness, nor repenting of. I thought how I appeared so smart in dad's office yesterday with those discs showing basically nothing.

There was a knock on my door even though it was standing open.

"Mind if I come in?"

I finished my prayer and nodded.

"You're Connie right?"

"Yes and you're Beth aren't you, the choreographer for my show?"

Okay we knew who each other was. Beth took a seat and started asking if I was going to try getting more involved. I let her know I did intend to help if I could, but I'd heard nothing but good things about her and her methods, I'd also heard the models worked well with her.

"Beth I don't know how serious any of the models will take me since I am still so young, but I do know how the fashions they'll be wearing should move so I do think it might be a very good idea to listen if I say something. I may not be right, but I promise I will listen to what you and the models have to say. I want everyone at their best, and I want my fashions shown to their best," I said.

"Connie that's what we all try to do. I was asking because I worked with Mr Beauchea a couple times. I don't mind saying he isn't the easiest man to work with, but he does know what he wants and how to get it. Connie he offered the models a cut of what he got off the runway if they gave a top show. I heard you're his daughter and was wondering if you might be doing the same," Beth said.

"Are you asking for you, or for the models? Beth I'm not my father, and trying to figure me out by what you know of him won't work. I never met him until a few months ago, I didn't even know he was my father until the first time I came to New York."

Beth stopped trying to figure out what I was going to do and started going over the details for the show. There were a few things she said I didn't understand and she didn't know how to explain. There was a rehearsal that after noon and I promised I would be there so we could talk about what changes I might think of.

At the rehearsal I saw several things I didn't care for mostly the way the models moved. I asked Beth if this was her idea and found it was.

"Beth the models look animated moving that way. They should be relaxed like they're on their way home from work after a long hard day in the office." I asked the models on the runway to move causal the way they would on their way home, or going out to a club for a night on the town.

I asked the person running the sound to start the music again and sat back. The models came out again this time showing some life in their movements. I thought about the designs I'd picked out for these models and how they were moving now. Yes, this was what the designs needed, I stopped the music before the models finished the runway walk and asked all the models to come back out on the stage for me. As they all lined up I spotted Monique standing at the back of the auditorium, and motioned her to come up and talk to me.

"Beth do you know Monique Deveaux? Monique this is Beth she is the choreographer for my up coming show," I said.

"We have had the pleasure mademoiselle. Hello Beth, it is always a pleasure to see you," Monique said.

"Likewise I'm sure Monique. Connie if I'm choreographing this show why is it you want to change everything at the last minute? We've been working on this show for four months now and with two weeks to go you come in here and change everything," Beth said.

"Beth I believe this can work better and is easier for the models since they don't need to learn anything special. I chose these models because when they auditioned I saw what I was looking for to set the perfect stage for my fashions. Your job was not so much to try getting the models to move in unnatural ways as much as to set which model would follow which. If that's too much for you to handle then I don't have anything here for you," I said.

"Are you firing me?" she asked.

"Do I need to fire you Beth? The object here isn't whether, or not I'm the boss, that was established when I designed the outfits. If you want to work on my shows please keep in mind I don't design for acrobats, I design for everyday people. If the models don't look natural then the show will flop. If the show flops because you have the models trying to be acrobats then you hurt everyone, that I won't tolerate," I said.

She got up and walked out, she didn't say anything more, just walked out.

"Mademoiselle it is not so easy to be the boss sometimes." Monique said.

"No it isn't. Monique do you think you could have this show ready to go in two weeks?" I asked.

"Yes, I think I can help you if the models are not so fussy as the management," she said giving a grin.

"Monique I'm the management in this," I said, not understanding her comment fully.

I looked back at the models and asked if they were willing to work with Monique. Without exception they agreed if she was willing to help them get where she had been. She laughed and said for them to get to the top they would need to be willing to work harder than they had ever worked.

Monique knew what it took to be the best, she had been there. She may have fallen, but I had no doubt she wanted to get there again, and she knew it would be even harder this time around. She wasn't young anymore, and she still had the problem that had cost her, her place at the top to deal with.

I reminded her I wouldn't tolerate any drugs in the work place and if she ever came in strung-out there wouldn't be a second chance.

I didn't pay much attention to the work the models did, Monique knew what I wanted, and she also knew what the models wanted. None of those working on getting my first show together knew anything about what I planed for a bonus if they did a good job. It should have been enough they did the job they were being paid to do without the added incentive.

Friday I called my flight crew and let them know we would be heading to Paris first thing Monday morning and I wanted them ready to go when I arrived at the hanger at six o'clock Monday morning. I went and talked to dad and he said he wouldn't be able to come with, he had meetings with the board of directors all day Monday and he wasn't sure they would be over until time for my show. I didn't dare take Monique with, I needed her working on the show, making sure it was ready.

At six o'clock Monday I boarded the plane and took off for Paris. I was on my way to meet the woman who would be my mother for the rest of my life. A woman my father couldn't begin to understand. Dad hadn't been able to come with, Monique was busy putting the final touches on my show so wasn't able to come with either. I was alone not knowing what this trip held, but knowing all the same I had to make it.

This time I didn't need to go lay down during the flight. Oh yes the visions came, but they didn't make me nauseous as they had done previously. The flight crew didn't have much to do and I got to know Kathrine during the flight. I had no idea what it took to be a flight attendant so asked her questions most of the flight. She in turn asked me how it was I came up with my designs for clothing. We talked about what kind of uniform a flight attendant should wear, whether it should be a dress or slacks. If a dress how short or long the skirt should be. By the time we landed we come up with new designs for the flight attendants for all the company aircraft, leaving it up to the flight attendant whether it was skirt and blouse, dress, or slacks with a blouse and jacket.

"Hello mademoiselle. I hope your flight was pleasant." I was met by someone from the office, but it wasn't Marie, or Antoinette. "I am Rochelle I was sent to help you find your way here in Paris."

" _Rochelle_ _thank_ _you_ _very_ _much._ _I_ _want_ _to_ _go_ _to_ _the_ _office_ _and_ _meet_ _Marie_ _Bordeaux_ ," I said.

" _You_ _speak_ _French,_ _I_ _was_ _led_ _to_ _believe_ _that_ _you_ _only_ _spoke_ _English._ _Marie_ _is_ _waiting_ _for_ _you_ ," Rochelle said.

I laughed I knew what she said, but it took a few moments to sink in. "Rochelle I think perhaps we should use English my French is not very good most of the time," I said.

Rochelle laughed at that statement, and said she understood. She gave me a look that said she was surprised since what I had said was perfect, but if I wanted to speak in English she was willing to do so. We headed to the offices Fashionista had in Paris, and the driver took us to an underground parking garage parking next to the elevator leading up to the offices. Rochelle lead the way up to the top floor of the offices, to an office about the size of dad's in New York.

"Mademoiselle this is your office when you are here," she said.

I looked around the office and shook my head, dad had to have had something to do with this. I knew he wasn't very happy about me taking the office I had in New York, so this must have been his way of getting even with me. Rochelle left the office as I sat in the chair behind the desk and started going through the draws. I heard footsteps coming toward the desk and looked up.

" _Finally_ _we_ _meet,_ _I_ _am_ _very_ _excited_ _and_ _nervous_." I said.

" _You_ _speak_ _French?_ _It_ _was_ _my_ _understanding_ _that_ _you_ _only_ _speak_ _English_ ," Marie said.

"It would be easier for me for now at least if we used English. I don't know French unless I am holding onto the Power of my gift." I pulled up my left sleeve exposing both birthmarks. "Marie I was born and raised in America so English is my first language," I said.

"The French you say was very good mademoiselle. My English is not so good, so pardon if I say something wrong," she said.

"You are the head of the company here in France?" I asked.

"No I am at the top of the secretaries so I am chosen to be your secretary while you are here," she said.

"I see so because my father is the owner of the company they think I need an office like this?" I asked.

"This is your papa's office when he is in Paris. If it does not suit you then you may choose another," she said.

"Please I would like something smaller and closer to the people I will work with here if there is an open office available, something less than half this size would be nice," I said.

Marie smiled, glad I didn't feel the need for something so grand, just because I was the daughter of the owner of the company. She took me on a tour of the offices showing me where she normally worked and where the designers we had there worked. As we went through the design section I stopped and talked with several of the designers about their designs. I started paying more and more attention to the fashions everyone was wearing. I needed to bring my designs over and now realized just how lacking the European fashions where. Nothing I saw here met the standard I had set for myself. Once through the design section I asked Marie if she would be willing to take me to production.

Down in production I started looking at the different people fitting the designs together, finding one who seemed to understand the differences in how the fabric would lay if done in certain ways. Marie started translating for me and then stopped as the upper mark on my arm darkened as though trouble were close at hand. I stepped up to the woman I had watched for some time and started asking her questions. I asked her if she knew a way of combining the three materials together into one dress and she smiled and told me it wasn't possible giving a wink at the end of her explanation of just why it wasn't possible.

"You did this? No?" she asked.

"It's impossible. You said yourself. To say that I did it would argue you to be a liar. You're not a liar are you?" I asked.

"Did I ask you how you did it? No. I will not be considered a liar, but you have done this, right?" she asked.

"Yes I did, but I would never openly admit that I did. Madame, I want your help to make appropriate clothing for Mrs. Bordeaux," I said.

"You did it using a common material to fix the other materials together, it is the only way," she said.

I smiled at her for figuring out just how I had accomplished the impossible. I then asked Marie to show me were a computer was I could access my files from New York. I started going through the designs I had and showing them to Marie and asking her which she would like. She picked out six outfits she thought would look nice and not to nice so she would stand out. I picked out another six I thought she would look great in including the outfit I had seen her wearing the day I died. I then took them to the woman I recruited to put them together asking her to see that Marie got them as soon as possible. As I was talking to her, her supervisor came up wanting to know why she had stopped working on the things he'd assigned her and I told him she was working for me now. He started to say something and Marie stepped in and let him know I held the Power to fire him if I so chose.

"Sir, what Marie says is true, but I do not think it is necessary. Is it?" I asked.

He relented and again I had a seamstress that could do my designs my way. I knew Annette and Cheryl would get along great together they both saw many things the same way, the same way I saw them. Marie didn't argue with me about me giving her a new wardrobe for work. I think she secretly loved the idea of wearing fashions that would never be shown other than by her. I picked out a dozen more outfits and asked Marie to schedule a show about six months away. I wanted it to be far enough away to give Monique time to be clean for at least three months, but near enough I could have her start working on getting it together. I started going over the designs again and came up with three more shows I thought would work well with the first. I hadn't told Marie to schedule the shows for somewhere else in Europe and knew she would schedule all of them for the runway right here in Paris. I didn't like the idea because I knew dad would likely die the night of the first show, but what was going to happen was going to happen and nothing I did could change it. All I could do was pray that not all I had been shown would be true.

I returned to the office I claimed as mine and called Keith asking if he had anything in the way of music I could use for four shows in Paris. He told me he had three, but the forth he wasn't sure he could come up with. He asked how much time he had and I told him I would need all the music in three months. He laughed and said not to worry he was sure he could come up with something in that amount of time.

I called Erin and found all the gang together having a banana split. I asked how she was doing on coming up with a solution to the problem I had given her.

"Connie we think we have something that will work, but so far whoever it is doing things are able to stay one step ahead of us. We haven't even been able to save anything we've found and trying to track it to the computer they're using is proving difficult at best," Erin said.

"I need this working in about six months Erin. I wish I could give you more time, but I can't," I said.

She asked how things were going in New York and laughed when I told her I didn't know because I wasn't in New York.

"Okay Connie, then how are things going wherever you are?" she asked.

"Great! My French is improving, I can almost understand what everyone is saying even when I'm not holding onto my special gift," I said.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"I'm in Fashionista's Paris office at the moment. I'll be here a few more days, then I have to go back to New York for my show there," I said. You guys are still planing on being there for it aren't you?"

"We'll be there Connie, and maybe we'll have this program working for you by then."

I spent the next couple days getting my office set up and talking to Marie about how to use my gifts. Learning the stories that had been told since the gift was first given to the daughters of man. It was hard hearing those stories that I should have heard growing up. What would have happened though had I known those stories? Would I be the person I was now? What harm would there have been in me knowing who my father was? Again maybe things would have been different in that I would have known I was in for a lot of money if I had known who my father was. No! Things happened as they did by design, a design I didn't agree with now, but one I had probably been involved in setting up from the start, I thought of that small girl who had volunteered so long ago. She knew the Lord of Lords would see she had what was needed when it was needed and I seemed to be learning what she knew instinctively, God works in his time and nothing man can do will speed up or slow down his plan.

I learned so much with Marie's help, her telling me the stories then showing me how to use the gift we shared to watch the stories unfold in ways that seemed as though we were there at the time the stories took place. She informed me she wasn't able to move forward in time and when she saw things that hadn't happened yet they weren't clear other than the major event the vision was meant to show.

"Connie I knew I was to help teach you, but you say it is much more than that, you say I am your momma, this I have never seen, only that I am to teach you how to use the gift we share," she said.

I took her hands and away we went not into the past but into the future, to a vision I had seen now so many times I knew it by heart, yet still found it unsettling but peaceful. The vision didn't start as it did most of the time, this time it started before I was on my death bed.

"We need to go," I said. "Antoinette will be anxious to see her new nephew and I really would love to be in the air as soon as possible."

"We still have time and Antoinette is a big girl who needs to learn a little patients." Marie said, trying to slow me down a little.

"Richard you told me everything was ready all we would need to do is get up and go." I complained.

The vision went on and soon it was discovered the baby I was carrying wanted to be born before we had time to get off the ground, before we even had a chance to taxi out to the runway. Marie had helped deliver my daughter so we were sure she could handle this when the time came. As the labor pains grew Marie discovered that she wouldn't be able to help as we had planned, if this baby came without a doctor it would likely kill me and the baby since he hadn't turned into the birthing position. He was coming breach, and Marie wouldn't have been able to turn him so I could deliver naturally. Richard asked the pilot to see if there was a doctor in the main terminal of the airport and found there were in fact two doctors, a husband and wife, one a family practitioner, the other an OB/GYN. They were rushed out to our plane and once the problem was seen by them they started setting things up to do a c-section delivery. All but the doctors and Marie where ushered to the front of the plane and I was delivered of my son.

Richard was allowed to return to the back once the stitches were in place. As he entered the bed chamber he was handed his son. He came over and sat on the bed next to me so I could see our son as well.

"Doctor Quinn I'm afraid you may have missed your airplane, may we ask where it is you're headed, perhaps we might be able to get you where you can meet a connecting flight or even get you where you're going," I said.

They said they were headed home from their vacation and lived in mine and Richards old home town. We offered to give them a ride the whole way home if they didn't mind spending the night in New York. Marie was there with me the whole time from the time I had gone into labor until the time I lay there in my death bed. The vision stopped though as the doctors agreed to accept the ride all the way home, they said they thought it would be best for both little Richard and me if they stayed with us until I could get into see my doctor.

"What you have shown me it is true?" Marie asked.

"To the best of my knowledge yes. Marie I have learned a lot, but this going forward is new to me I have no real control over what it will show. There is more to this vision, I have had it several times, and it is one that brings me peace," I said.

"I cannot do as you have done here child. I can go back, but never have I seen anyone who could go forward. Your abilities are more than I have ever seen. The Sisters of Death do not bother me because of my strength in the ability to go to the past. They fear I will show them the truth of what happened to the first Daughter of Life," Marie said.

"Have you seen this? Marie have you seen what happened to the first Daughter?" I asked.

"No it is forbidden for any to see until you show it to the world. It is said that only she who is the Sister of Life and also Life's Daughter will find a way to see the truth of what happened on that dreadful day so long ago. I do not know how you will show it, but the stories say the world will see as one the truth of that day," she said.

I thought about what she said about me being the one to show the world the truth of life. No, that wasn't what she said, but that is what it meant. I knew the Power of Life, I had already held that Power, I knew it's texture it's weight, it's ability to consume anything that came into it's way of fulfilling its purpose. The stories about the first of Life's Daughters told how she had been betrayed and was consumed by the Power she had, the Power I had become heir to, the Power I had volunteered to use to Gods glory back before the world was. I didn't fear the Power, I did fear the misuse however. I didn't want to believe the first Daughter of Life would take the Power on herself without a way of setting it aside again where it could not consume. The Power of Life was to great for any but God to control without Gods help. That was why safeguards had been established from the foundations of the world. The bond was the most important of those safeguards, but it meant both had to know the love of God or the bond became null, it couldn't work.

I had released Richard from the bond because he had to love me enough to want to help at the cost of his own life if necessary when, or if the time came for me to take on the Power of Life in its fullness. I hadn't realized the reason for me releasing him as I had until now, but I knew I had to do so, or one day I might suffer the same fate the first Daughter of Life faced. I had one problem with her being consumed as the story said though. If the story was right then she wasn't the only Daughter of Life at the time. If the story was to be believed she was destroyed because she had given the kiss of death to a Daughter of Life and they in turn destroyed each other. I needed time to think about what the story said, about what I knew of the Power of Life. If what I felt was right the Power of Life if not released would consume the holder and turn them into the Mistress of Death. No, that wasn't right it couldn't be. The Power of Life could not corrupt it was the Power of God, and God would not allow what was his to corrupt or destroy what he created. There had to be another explanation, if this is what happened then God was evil not good and we were all doomed from the start. Christ's death on the cross was for nothing if the Power of God could corrupt. Corruption had to be present already for Life to turn to Death, this I was sure of.
  10. ##  Chapter 8

On the way back to New York I fell again into my pattern of laying down until an hour before landing. The visions on the flight were incredible. I practiced going forward and backward in time, finding going back was much easier since it was already written in the annals of history.

Michael decided to pay me a visit also wanting to know what I intended to do about some of the things Marie and I went over. I asked him about what happened with the first Sister of Life, how it was she had become the first Sister of Death. He just stared at me not answering saying he couldn't tell me because he didn't know, and even if he did he wouldn't have been able to tell me, because it was a forbidden subject, with that he left.

One more week and the show marking the start of my career as a professional fashion designer was supposed to take place. I really needed to get more involved in that show since it was a major landmark in my life, but compared to everything I had learned on my trip to Paris the show seemed nothing.

Yes I knew I was the Chosen One talked about in the stories, but now I knew the stories, where before I didn't. Before the trip I thought my life was set out, and I didn't have any freewill. Now I understood that it was up to me fully to accept what I had so long ago volunteered for. If I didn't accept it then another would be chosen and all that was promised me would be given to them. I still had freewill to make of my life what I wished to make of it. I had chosen to accept, to become the one the stories told about, it is who I was and have always been. I found I exercised my freewill every day in the choices I made. No, the book hadn't been written yet about how I would accomplish the things given for me to do, and it was my freewill that would determine how those chapters of Life would be written. The visions were there to help me, by giving me a guide of what might be.

So many things happened every day that weren't covered in the visions, yet those events were every bit as important as the ones that were covered in the visions. Everything I did and said played a part in who I was, and would be before I saw again the face of my Lord.

The thing I found so ironic was that the same people who called my friends sinners, and decried them as being of the devil were the same ones who would call me a witch, and declare me the devil made manifest for the things I would do. How small minded so many are when it comes to the things of God, the things that mark life as having value beyond self. If only they knew I could judge them, how would they act around me then, would they live the words they preached, or continue in the misguided precepts they have followed and ascribed to throughout their lives. I knew the answer to this as well, it had been given to me to judge the heart not the deed. The heart didn't change easily, it didn't repent easily, and many of those who would condemn me did so believing in their heart they were justified in doing so.

I had the driver take me into the office rather than home to my apartment. Yes I needed to clean up and get unpacked from my trip, but I also needed to get more involved in my show that was now less than a week away. I stopped in the auditorium I thought the models were supposed to be practicing and found someone else's show being rehearsed. I thought about how the building was laid out and realized the auditorium I was in was the wrong one. This was the small auditorium and my show was scheduled for the large one which was on the other side of the building. I headed over there and sat in the back with dad who happened to be watching as well.

"They are the best," Dad said.

"I know they are dad. I wish I could have been more actively involved in getting the show ready to go," I said.

He turned to me and smiled. "Connie from what I understand you fired one choreographer because they weren't doing things the way you wanted. It might not have been the brightest thing I've seen you do, but I don't think I'm going to second guess you on the decision. This is your show and you seem to know just what will, and will not work," he said.

"Dad she had the models looking more like animated mannequins. This show is about real clothes for real people, if the models don't look real why would anyone want the clothes they're wearing? I did what I thought was right. Besides, I didn't fire her she quit," I said.

Again he turned more toward me and chuckled. "Connie she said you fired her," he was smiling and said he knew the particulars of what transpired. I gave him a hug and thanked him for understanding. "Have you been home since you got back?" he asked.

"I know I should have gone home and not worried about the show until tomorrow, but there are so many things going through my head right now I just needed to be around people, I needed a distraction from myself so this sounded like just the thing," I said.

"How did things go in Paris? Did you get everything you went there for accomplished?" he asked.

"Dad you know why I went there. Yes I got everything I needed to accomplished," I smiled and turned to him. "Dad do you know the stories about me?"

He didn't say anything turning from me back to the show. I could see in his mood he did know the stories, but wasn't sure he believed them fully. How could he have been the father of the one chosen to change the world as he knew it. More than that he knew the stories well enough to know the ones about how, like the Lord before me I would be made to suffer many things at the hands of men who only cared about what they could get.

"Yes I know the stories about you," he turned to me. "I didn't want to believe what Paul's mother said that first time you were here in New York, I didn't want to believe it because I've heard so many stories about who you are, and what you will do. I just couldn't believe it could be that I could be so blessed as to be the father of someone so special to the world." There was a tear running down his cheek. "Oh Connie, I didn't want to believe because I know the Chosen Daughter will suffer as did Christ before her, and knowing you are that Chosen One makes me both very proud and very sad. I hurt so much knowing you will be made to suffer more than you already have. I wish I could take all the suffering the stories tell about on myself so you wouldn't have to suffer. I wish I could turn back the clock and do things different. I wish I could have been there while you were growing up, that you could have known the truth about who your father is." More tears rolled down his cheeks unchecked. I don't think I ever figured him to be someone who would be able to show so much emotion and compassion.

I hugged him tight wanting to ease his burden knowing only that if I tried he would leave sooner, and I wasn't able to cope with the thought of losing him any sooner than I had to. So many things I could do and saving my father wasn't one of them.

I leaned back wiping some of his tears with my hand understanding for the first time the depth of love this dear man held for me. So often I had wanted to know my father and now I did, but I didn't want to know how much he loved me because now it hurt having the knowledge I had concerning him. I wanted to cry for all I would miss out on having the chance to know him in this life. I looked in his heart and saw he believed in the salvation of man through Christ the Lord. I smiled and thanked him for everything he did for me that was unknown to me growing up.

The models were starting to make mistakes so Monique asked them to be there ready to work in the morning. I watched as they all turned to go then saw me sitting there watching them. They all in unison turned back to Monique and asked the opportunity to go through everything one more time. She looked over her shoulder and spotted me sitting there with dad and agreed to allow them one more time through, so I could see the show all the way through and give her any changes I might think appropriate for the models to work on. As they started coming out I watched wondering if things would ever change from what I now saw my life being.

Each model came out as though wearing the design I had chosen for them, each turning perfectly with the music moving as though on their way to the top of the world. As they finished their walk they stayed just off the runway enough to let the next model, or models come out and do their part, giving encouragement until the last model came out spinning as though they were the reason the world turned. I heard a commotion behind me, dad and I turned together and there stood perhaps one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.

I stood and made eye contact with the woman and moved my hands as though asking her to turn, walk, and turn again. With each gesture I made she did exactly what I asked of her. Behind her the receptionist from the front desk stood telling her there weren't any openings, the job she wanted to apply for had already been filled. The woman stood there watching me not hearing anything the receptionist said to her knowing instinctively that what every I asked would depend on whether, or not she would find employment with Fashionista.

I walked over to her asking her name and what job it was she was applying for.

"My name's Michelle. The job I am here for is the accounting job advertised in the newspaper," she said.

I looked back at Monique and motioned her to come over and talk to Michelle with me. Dad watched wondering just what it was he was seeing.

"Michelle I believe the accounting job is still open if you really want it, but you have the potential to make a lot more than that job pays if you're interested," I said. Monique arrived and looked Michelle over trying to decide if there might be a chance of her doing this my first show. "Monique I want her in the show I have just the design for her to wear. Can you give her some, one on one, so she can catch up with the others and be ready?"

"Mademoiselle I do not think it is possible for her to be ready in the time we have. She would have to work very, very hard to try, even then I am not sure," Monique said.

"I think she can, just as I know you will be ready when we go to Paris in six months. Monique, you and Michelle will be my top models in Paris. It will be the two of you choosing the other models we take when we go," I said.

Monique looked at me with wonder plain on her face. I knew she would be ready, how could I possibly know such a thing. She struggled daily with her addiction and wasn't sure she would make it one more day let alone six months. I said I knew she would be ready though so it must be so, I wouldn't make that kind of mistake, I couldn't make that kind of mistake. If I said it, it had to be true, I was the Daughter of Life, but even more, I was the Chosen One of God. The one who would change the world for the return of the Lord of Lords.

"She will be ready mademoiselle, we will do all we can so she is ready," Monique said.

The day of the show was one of dads better days lately. He refused to talk about what he had that made him so sick all the time. That morning I had gone to the doctors with him and while I waited the doctor came out and talked to me.

"Are you his daughter?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, he won't tell me what's wrong though. Doctor why is he so sick all the time? Does he have cancer?" I asked.

"I think that is for him to tell you Miss Beauchea. What I can say is he isn't getting better. We have tried the most radical treatments available to us and nothing is working. Miss Beauchea if you pray, then I suggest you pray for him, it might help," the doctor said.

" _Dr,_ _I_ _do_ _not_ _know_ _how_ _to_ _stop_ _praying_ _for_ _him._ _He_ _is_ _my_ _father_ _and_ _I_ _pray_ _for_ _him_ _always_." I said.

He looked at me strangely, like I had said something that he couldn't understand. All I said was I didn't know how not to pray for him. He was my father so I naturally always prayed for him. Dad walked out as I told the doctor I always prayed for him and smiled.

"Honey your French is improving considerably, but not everyone can understand. She said she always prays for me and doesn't understand how she couldn't do so since it is outside her nature," Dad said.

I was sure I had said what I did in English not French, yet everyone heard me in French.

"Doctor you will have to forgive my daughter she slips into French at times and doesn't even know she has done so." He turned to me and admitted he did have cancer, and nothing they had tried helped so he was stopping all treatments starting today.

"Connie I know even you can't help me in this and I don't mind so much any longer. I got to live long enough to see Gods grace manifest to man in the life of my daughter," Dad said.

The doctor looked at dad as though he had lost his mind. What could I do that medicine couldn't do? Was dad starting to believe all those stories he was telling about a woman who could preform miracles, and then looking to his own daughter as that woman.

"Doctor you look skeptical of what my father just said. Take my hand and you will see why he said what he did about me being the grace of God manifest at the end before Christ again comes to claim his own out of the world," I said.

The doctor pulled farther away and shook his head that both dad and I would believe such archaic nonsense. Yet he believed enough he feared touching me let alone taking my hand.

"You don't need to fear me doctor, I won't do anything without your consent since you haven't been numbered among those I am to take before the judgment throne of the Father," I said.

The doctor didn't say anything he just turned and walked away. I turned toward dad and asked if he was ready to go. I took him home because he didn't look in any shape to try working and things in the office could continue without him for one day. I asked if he would be at the show, knowing he really shouldn't, but knowing he would if he was feeling better than he did most of the time lately.

"Lady's and Gentlemen welcome to Fashionista. Tonight we are pleased to bring one of the brightest new designers the world has seen in decades. Connie Carlson!"

I stepped up to the microphone on stage and stood there waiting for the applause to die down.

"Thank you! Tonight is a big night for me as this is my first show as a professional designer. To lay a little back ground some of you may have attended the show I did about six months ago as a fund raiser for an organization I believe in back home where I was raised. Tonight's show is not like that show as tonight instead of a bunch of high school kids showing new fashions for a local nonprofit we have professional models showing fashions for the working men and women around the world. I hope you enjoy the show. Michael I turn it back to you for the remainder of the night."

I turned to leave the stage and heard someone ask what the nonprofit had been. I turned and looked where the voice had come from and just stood there staring at a man dressed in the robes of the clergy.

"Sir does it really matter what the nonprofit was, that show was done for?" I asked.

He didn't say anything just stood up and walked out. I left the stage and went out to the foyer and found the man standing there as though challenging the world to argue with him about what was and wasn't of God.

"What difference does it make what the nonprofit was I did that show for?" I challenged.

"It doesn't, then again, I already know I just wanted to see if you would say it in there," he said.

"Really? Then perhaps you can share it with others so they can judge me as you have. I do ask one thing before you do that. I ask that you read Mathew 7:1-6," I said.

He looked at me as though I had just condemned him with his own words.

"I know what the Bible says about judging Miss Carlson. I just have to wonder if you know what it says about homosexuality," he said.

I smiled and asked if he wanted to find out what the Bible really says about homosexuality, and judging others. He gave me a look that said he knew the Bible forward and backward, and no kid was going to prove him wrong about his understanding of what it says.

"You aren't afraid are you? I do know the truth isn't always easy to handle, but it makes infinitely more sense than a lie," I said.

He came over and took my arm as if to shake me. As he made contact with my arm the world around us faded.

"You have nothing to fear here, this is not the judgment, it is the setting down of the law. Only the angels and I can see or hear you in this place where we will go next there is one other who will be able to see and hear you, and he will know you are here even before you know who he is. Watch and learn, ask what you wish, but I may need to call in the angels to answer as I haven't been guiding people through something like this long," I said.

He turned toward the scene and watched as Moses ascended the mountain.

"Put off the shoes from your feet for the ground about you is sacred."

Moses took off his shoes and bowed to the Lord of Hosts. The commandants were given, each written in stone. Each spoken as it was written.

The man turned to me and asked how it was he understood what was said.

"The language you hear is the language used at the time the event took place. Here like this you hear it as though it were your own language. I cannot explain the Power of God only that he is merciful to his children, that he wishes them to understand him so they will seek him out with open hearts, accepting him as God," I said.

"How is it you can show me this?" he asked.

"This is a gift of God given to those Chosen to bring light into the world. They were Chosen before the foundations of the world were laid, in our time they are known as the Sisters of Life," I said.

"So there are others like you who can do this?" he asked.

"No! It is the Power that has been granted the Sisters of Life I used to show you this, and yes they can visit the past this way, but they cannot bring another with to show them as I have done with you. To do as I have done it takes the Power granted to the Daughter of Life," I said.

He turned again to the scene trying to understand how it could be I could bring him into a drama in which he thought I controlled what was happening.

"Do you understand why the law had to be given as it was?" A voice asked.

"Hello Michael I didn't know if you would be here to help or not," I said.

Michael didn't respond to me instead he again asked the question. The man I had brought through the barrier with me didn't answer, he instead turned to me with fear in his eyes.

"I don't understand why does he ask this of me?" he asked.

"He wants to see if you know the Bible as well as you profess to know it," I said.

"The law came first to show us how inadequate we are to save ourselves," the man said.

"Very well said," Michael said. "How is it then you condemn someone you do not know?"

"I... I don't understand the question," the man said.

"You judge Connie because she supported the LGBT in her home of birth. You judged her unworthy did you not?" Michael asked.

He bowed his head knowing his judgment had been marked against him.

"Forgive me I pray, I did not mean to judge," the man said.

"Be careful what you say here sir. The truth holds sway here nothing else. You judged knowingly, forgiveness is easily given, but repentance is not so easily achieved. To me it was given the ability to judge, yet I am a sinner unworthy to judge so I do not judge. I am no better than those marked as great sinners, those condemned by the churches." I said.

With that the scene changed.

"I did not come to abolish the law, but that the law might be fulfilled in me."

He smiled at me as he said the words. The Lord turned from those he was talking with and greeted me with a hug.

"I wondered if you would still accept?" he kissed me on the cheek.

"How could I ever refuse? You are my Rock and my Salvation. I can do all things in your name for you have prepared the way before me," I said.

"So the words of your sister still ring in your ears?" he asked.

"I love you. My sisters words are as true now as the day she said them," I said.

The man standing next to me fell to his knees.

"Lord forgive me I pray," the man I had brought said.

Christ turned to him. "Stand for I have not yet ascended to my father, and your father. Go and sin no more and your sins will be forgiven."

The man stood tears running down his cheeks, he didn't look up for fear he might betray himself.

"Lord I am not worthy. I have judged unjustly. Help me to change my heart that I might be a servant to your word," he said.

I smiled, and thanked the Lord for his great mercies. He had shown me this day that even those who refuse to see can have their eyes opened. With very simple words he had opened the eyes of this man in such a way the man knew he could be saved and counted among the righteous.

We returned again to the present finding that time hadn't gone as it had in the vision. The man turned to me and thanked me for the gift I had given him. He didn't understand much of what happened, but he did understand that judging was wrong because it opened each individual up to be judged in like manner.

"Sir the gift I just gave you is one not many would have been willing to accept in such good graces. There is nothing for me to forgive because the Lord of all has forgiven you all. Can I not forgive what God has forgiven?" I said.

He laughed and thanked me again for the opportunity to meet the Lord, and hear him say he was forgiven. "You do understand there are many out there who would say you are of the devil being able to do that."

"Let them say what they will. I know where the Power I was granted came from, if they want to find themselves condemned at the judgment that is their choice, I can't make them see the truth, I can only make sure they have had the opportunity to hear and see the truth," I said.

"I grew up hearing the stories about you. I didn't believe them, I thought they were simply to scare kids and keep them out of trouble. I'm glad we had the opportunity to meet in person I don't think I would have believed otherwise," he said.

"Blessed are you that you have seen and believed, how much more blessed are they who believe and do not see," I said.

He looked askance of me as though I would explain further. How could I explain further when the words I said weren't my words, but those of the Lord. Did the Lord explain when he used those words? How then could I explain what wasn't mine to explain?

The show ended and dad was still where I had seen him when I started the show. Every outfit brought in new high prices for designs of their kind. Those who bought the clothes didn't need to know what part of their purchase went to me, nor did they need to know what I had intended to do with the share of the money that was to be mine.

I sat down next to dad as everyone started leaving.

"A penny for your thoughts!" I said.

"Connie never have I seen anything like this. Your benefit show was spectacular, but this was beyond description. I have been in this business since before you were born and I felt like a beginner watching your show." He turned to me with a smile on his lips that said he couldn't be more proud if he tried.

"It was that good, was it?" I asked.

He chuckled. "That good? Connie there is a magic about your shows no one else seems to have. Back when I was a young designer the same was said about me, but things changed the longer I was in the industry. I hope that doesn't happen for you, you bring a spirit of wonder and excitement to the runway. Your designs are so new and radical yet they fit perfectly with the conservative nature of this industry," he said.

"I didn't get a chance to watch the show so I have no idea just what you are talking about. I had other work I had to do, work that was not of this world, if you understand," I said.

"Is he saved?" Dad asked.

"He is forgiven. As to him being saved I don't know. Dad it's up to him to stay pure of heart. If the forgiveness meant to him what I hope it did, then yes he is saved, but again that isn't for me to decide," I said.

"I guess that's a start. This isn't easy for me to accept that my daughter is the one all those stories are about. There was so little in those stories about your life before you were grown. Now though I can see that you are the one Chosen from before the world was," he said.

"I wish I could say I didn't ask for this, that this is all some big mistake, but I can't. I did volunteer for this before the world was created. I don't think I knew what it would mean, but I don't think it mattered either. God asked who he could send and I stepped forward and said send me," I said.

"Dad I have Marie scheduling four shows in Paris in about six months. I don't think I'm ready, but after seeing the fashions there I feel I have to become ready in that time frame. I need to have Monique ready by then and that means doing at least one show a month between now and then," I said.

He looked at me and chuckled again. "Connie if you want Monique on the runway put her there. You don't have to explain to me," he said.

I started going over what designs I might use for my next show, trying to think where a good place for it might be. I came up with Los Angeles and decided that swim wear would be the perfect theme for a Los Angeles show. I designed several one and two piece suits along with wraps, and figured what the heck, the world needed to know I could design most anything and so over the next six months I intended to show the world I was up to the task of setting a standard, that few could match.

I asked to meet with the models and support crew following the show. It was time they know just how much I appreciated all the hard work they did getting the show ready, and making it a success. The designs would have been nothing but drawings in a note book, if they hadn't done their part to the highest level they were capable of.

"Is everyone here?" I asked Monique.

"Connie the show was fabulous. The designs spectacular. The models and support crew are all here. Connie I do not know what you wish to say, I know you were not in the theater most of the show. I think everyone did a wonderful job," Monique said.

"I agree Monique everyone did do a wonderful job, and that is why I want to meet with them." I replied, then turned to everyone standing there waiting to hear what it might be I would say. "I hope you all can hear me, there are still people leaving or I would ask all of you to join me out in the auditorium where I could use the speaker system."

"First, I want to thank each of you for a job well done. I know that may not mean much, but I couldn't have done this without all of you, so thank you all so much. Secondly I want to show my appreciation in a way that might mean a little more to some of you than just me getting up here and saying thank you."

"So you all understand I make fifteen percent of the revenue from the runway. I'm not sure how much that was tonight, but it will be a rather large sum if my calculations are even close. Of that fifteen percent I want to give a bonus to the models of one third of what I will make, for the rest of the staff involved I want to give another one third."

"Each of your salaries comes out of the eighty-five percent I don't get, so this bonus is two thirds of what I get for the show tonight. I don't know how much that will translate into for each person, but it should make for a nice bonus."

"Now the rest of the news. As some of you know I got back from Paris a couple days ago. While, I was there I asked the Paris office to schedule four shows in Paris over a four week time frame starting in six months. Monique and Michelle will be the people who will pick the models from here for those shows, but for now I need you all concentrating on what we are doing here. I have worked up a schedule that is going to be a lot of hard work, and long hours."

"Over the next six months there will be a show at least once a month, with some months having two shows. These shows will be all over the United States covering most of the major cities Fashionista has offices. For each of those shows there will be similar bonuses to the one from this show," I said.

They all stared at me like I had lost my mind. Didn't I know what I was asking was impossible? Michelle came to my rescue.

"Excuse me Connie, maybe I don't have the right to speak for everyone here, but I heard the prices paid for these outfits, and I know I would love to be able to wear things like this all the time. From what I can see here you happen to be giving two thirds of what you make to us. In my book I don't see any reason most of us here can't work just a little harder to make sure we do the best job possible," she said. "Like I said maybe I'm out of line, but tonight went great, count me in on whatever shows you need me for."

So many things so fast, yet they had to be. If I was to accomplish all I was given to do I needed to push things at a rate few could understand. Many would accuse me of trying to gain wealth because of the pace I was setting, they didn't understand I didn't care about money, those who knew me would know the money wasn't important, the models I would work with, those making sure the designs were ready when they were needed. These people would all come to understand just how little the money would mean to me. It was the people who mattered to me, that they find truth in everything they did. I cried to God for the people who would be in my charge, was I able to do what was necessary to help them find the truth.

"Connie, can we talk please?" Paul asked.

"Come in Paul. What is it you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I don't know quite how to ask. Connie I was wondering if you could... I would like to know what the options are once the Kiss of Life is given," he said.

I looked at him not sure what to say. I didn't know the options. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to find out what they were. There was still so much about what I was I didn't know, I still hadn't been able to talk to the Daughter of Life before me, so that part of what I am was still a complete mystery to me. I knew for that part of myself I needed someone who loved me enough to help me set the mantle aside, or I could become lost to the Power. At the moment I didn't have anyone to do that, if I gave Paul the kiss of life and he made the wrong choice we could both be lost, if however he made the right choice would he be in any condition to help me when it was over? I didn't know and didn't want to know. He was going to need the Kiss if he was to survive sometime in the future, and if he received it now the Kiss would kill him even if he made the right choice when that time came.

"Paul the options are life or death. You are given the chance to choose life in Christ or Death eternal. To tell you what the choices are for you I can't do that, I don't know," I said.

He bowed his head and leaned on the chair sitting on the door side from my desk. "I... Connie is there anyone who could tell me? I feel a very deep need to know the answer," he said.

"I'm sorry Paul, but I really don't know. The Kiss of Life is death to those who hate God and his creation. Please I don't have anyone to help me right now if I were to give the Kiss, I'm not sure I would be able to give the Kiss and set the Power aside again after, and the Power would consume me if I didn't," I said.

I fell into a vision as I completed those words. "Connie he is your protector until your chosen is ready to take his place at your side. His question is valid as your protector."

"Michael do you understand what it is he is asking me? If I give him the Kiss it could kill him and then where would we be? I could save his life if I withhold the Kiss now."

"Or you could condemn him if the Kiss is what is needed now for him to fulfill his commitment to you now."

I was in a catch-twenty-two if I gave him the Kiss now it wouldn't be able to help him later, yet if I withheld the Kiss now I could be condemning him to hell. Which choice was right? I didn't know.

"Paul I'm afraid the answer you're looking for I can't give, I don't know what it is. I want to ask one thing of you before you come right out and ask me to give you the Kiss so you know your answer."

"Paul I want you to think of the dangers involved in this. First I have to draw the Power of Life into myself, something that is easily done, but setting the Power aside again is not so easily done. It could consume me if there isn't anyone to help call me back from that Power at the right time. That is the danger to me, a danger I am willing to accept."

"Then there is the danger to you Paul. You will be given two choices you can choose one and only one. If you make the wrong choice then you die, not just a mortal death, but an eternal death as well. Once you have received the Kiss you go before the judgment throne of God, I can't help you beyond giving you the options, one that leads to life the other to death."

"Your whole life would be laid out before both you and me. I can't help you make the right choice since I don't know your life. I don't want to know your life Paul, but to give the Kiss leaves me without a choice. Could you handle me knowing your life as well as God does? That is what the Kiss would do," I said.

"Is there anything you could tell me that might help?" he asked.

I smiled now this was something I could help with since it didn't involve the use of the Power to accomplish. "Paul do you love your sister Ellen? Can you ask her forgiveness for your wrongs against her? Can you turn over all your sins and ask Gods forgiveness? Repenting of your sins, turning away from them, and live not for this life, but for the life God has planned for you?" I asked.

He looked down and shook his head. "That sounds so easy to do, but I know it isn't. I don't know if I could do those things, at least some of them. I could ask Ellen for her forgiveness, I have done it more than once and still feel the need to do it a few more times for things I've done. The rest however while it sounds easy is the hardest part. I don't know if I could turn away from so much of what has been my life," he said.

He left knowing just how hard what was I asked of him would be. I think he also understood that doing the right thing now would be much easier than standing before the judgment throne of God and trying to convince God he was serious about changing. I could see it now, God I promise I will do everything you ask, please let me return and prove my worthiness. Oh yes, I could just see how well that would go over. I'm sorry, but you had your chance to prove your worthiness to me, and look what you have shown me instead. Now would not be a good time for him to ask me for the Kiss, the chances of him surviving it wouldn't be good, he still loved the things of this world more than the things of God.

The next six months were all about getting the shows ready. One was scheduled for Los Angeles in three weeks, with one in Baltimore two weeks after that, one in Dallas three weeks later, followed by one in Denver, finishing in Atlanta a month and a half before the first show in Paris.

The models were not very happy with the schedule we had, nor were those who were putting the designs together. The logistics of the whole thing was turning into a nightmare. Monique seemed to think she would be able to handle the models and so I left them in her hands.

I knew between her and Michelle the models would be ready and wanted to talk to them both about setting up a modeling agency I could go to, and not have to worry about the models I would have for my shows. Each time I tried to broach the subject something happened making the idea have to wait. I knew it would happen, but it was starting to seem like it wouldn't. The whole idea of the shows had been to insure I would be ready for Paris when the time came. Five shows in six months was unheard of especially when you are talking new designs for each of those shows. Yes I had the designs already drawn, but none of them had ever seen material and the hard part was coming up with the right material for each of the designs. Coming up with a theme for each show also required my attention. I let Monique handle the music, once I let her know the designs for each show she would start choosing models for the show and going through music that would set the pace for each show.

"Come in Monique, you too Michelle," I said.

"We have a problem Connie," Michelle said on entering.

I looked up and saw the problem. "Monique why? Is the pressure so much that you felt the need to throw everything you have worked so hard for away?" I asked.

"Connie I don't think it was her idea," Michelle said.

I put my finger under Monique's chin raising her head so I could see her eyes. Michelle was right Monique hadn't done this someone else had. I touched her forehead with my finger and she almost instantly came to life.

"Monique I need you to tell me what happened." I still had my fingers on her forehead as she told me everything she knew about what took place. Mario, Paul and Ellen's brother, had managed to catch her alone in a remote place. It wasn't so much no one else was around as it was there wasn't anyone there willing to stop what Mario was doing.

"Michelle I don't want Monique left alone again. She is under my protection, but unfortunately so are many other people and I have been over working lately so am not seeing many of the things I normally would see," I said.

Michelle looked at me strangely not understanding what it meant being under my protection. I was just a child still, how could it be that I could protect anyone, even myself.

"Michelle have you ever heard of the Daughters of Life, or even the Sisters of Life?" I asked.

She shook her head letting me know she hadn't.

"I am both Michelle, I am the fulfillment of prophecy. From the time of Christ the Daughters of Life have been charged with assuring that none forgot that God is the only righteous judge. Only God can look on the hearts of men and know the intent of their hearts to judge righteously. We were given that charge along with the ability to look on the hearts of men and cast judgment. It is my understanding none have ever cast judgment because we have all understood we too are sinners unworthy of any righteousness."

"The Sisters of Life are to give assistance to the Daughter of Life through the visions they have. As both I can step through the veil of time into a place where nothing in this world can harm me, but more, I can take someone else through with me thus protecting them from the things of this world," I said.

"You took the drugs out of her system didn't you? You can do that can't you?" Michelle asked.

"No Michelle I can't. I can't take the drugs out of her system if she put them there. Because she didn't know the drugs were in the food she had, this time I could, in a rather round about way. Monique won't remember that she had been drugged when she again is able to talk, because right now she is reliving the time the drugs were given to her, only without the drugs being there. That Michelle is what it means to be under my protection, at least for Monique that is what it means," I said.

As I finished telling Michelle what I was doing Monique moaned and I lowered my hand. "How are you feeling Monique?" I asked.

Monique looked at me and shook her head. "Mademoiselle, I have no felt this way in months. What happen that I feel so bad?" she asked.

I explained to her what I knew and assured her I didn't hold her to blame. "Monique I can't allow you in the next show because of this, but I want you in the shows after. It means that something like this can't happen again because it would be to easy for you to fall back into how things were when we met. There is only so much I can do to help, while you are still under my protection I cannot clean the drugs from your system again. I need you to be extremely careful not to get yourself into a situation where this could happen again," I said.

She promised me she wouldn't do anything that could put her at risk again, then turned to Michelle and asked her if she would mind someone rooming with her at least until we went to Paris. Michelle readily agreed and off they went. Nothing was said to anyone about what happened, I don't know if Michelle really believed what she had witnessed, I do know however she never let Monique be alone other than to relieve herself until we left for Paris.

Five shows in six months then four shows in four weeks. I had to be insane to think everything would go smoothly. The last show before going to Paris turned into a disaster, if it could go wrong it did. Four of the models got sick two days before the show, one of them ending up in the hospital over night. Finding models to replace them was challenging to say the least. The night of the show everything was starting to look up again, then we have some clowns that made things very difficult all because they can't look past their personal prejudices.

The show went without a hitch, then came the bidding.

The first models walked back out on the runway and some old lady asked if they were homosexual, she then went off when no one would tell her and said she couldn't buy anything that was even touched by someone who is homosexual because she felt she would be contributing to the cause of Satan in doing so. She made such a big deal out of whether, or not any of the models were homosexual the bidding had to be stopped. I walked out on stage and looked at her wanting to know just what her problem was.

"Madam I didn't bother to ask my models their sexual orientation when I hired them because to me it doesn't matter. I hired them for their ability to do the job I needed them to do, what they do on their own time is their business as long as it doesn't interfere with what I am paying them to do," I said.

She stared at me like I had some kind of contagion that she might get just being in the same building I was in. "Young lady do you believe in God?" she asked. "Don't you understand that by helping those who choose to violate the laws of God you are empowering the enemies of God?"

"Madam if you feel that way, why are you here? Why did you choose to be here showing support for someone you believe to be damned?" I asked.

I don't think she understood what it was I asked her, she instead of answering started going on again about how she couldn't think of owning anything that had been touched by someone who wasn't Christian and believed as she did.

"Madam you are free to leave here at any time. If you are here to cause trouble I will have security escort you out, because we don't need you or your beliefs espoused here." I stood there waiting for her to start in again only to have the man she was sitting with start in when she didn't.

"Missy how dare you talk to my wife like that? We are here because we heard this show and these fashions were supposed to be the best out there. If my wife's simple question can't be answered then I assure you nothing here will ever find a place here," he said.

I turned to the models waiting off stage and then back to the microphone. "Security can you see to it that Mr and Mrs Cannonade find their way out of the building safely," I said. "Mr Cannonade I am sorry, but you and your wife have asked very inappropriate questions and made a big deal out of something that really has no bearing on what tonight is supposed to be about."

"You have no idea who I am, do you Missy? I ask only the answer to my wife's question, if you can't give us that, then I ask you take your show of sinners and leave," he said.

Sinners! My show of sinners! Who did this bozo think he was? I could take this man before the judgment throne of God right now if I so chose, and he dared to call my show a sinful affair?

"Sir, you are wrong I do know who you are. For you to sit there judging people you know nothing about is a sin greater than any these models have had part in. Don't sit there looking down your noise at those you don't know and can't begin to understand, I am indeed a sinner! I freely admit I am, the big difference between you and me however is that I seek forgiveness for my sins once I become aware of them, and you continue to live in your sin because you fail to see it as sin," I said.

He looked at me and made to come toward me just as security got to him. He fought with them saying he had paid his money to be there and he would see that anyone who touched either him or his wife would go to jail. I raised my hand and he stopped fighting with security and security turned to me.

"Mr Cannonade you paid your money to see the show and you have seen the show. It is in my power to say if you stay for the auction or not as it is not part of the show you paid to see. You and your wife have shown that you can't sit here deciding to buy any of these fashions on the merit of the fashion so now I will ask that you leave peacefully or you will be dragged out by both my security and the police. The questions you and your wife have asked do not merit an answer because those questions have no baring as the models are not for sale here the fashions are. If Mr Cannonade you insist on causing more problems so that being carried out is the only option I am afraid sir you will find out just how saved by God you truly are," I said.

He had raised my ire to the point I was willing to do what only I could and see he faced the judgment of God now not in five years as had been given him. As I finished the police walked in and asked him and his wife to please leave without trouble or they would go to jail. He started to make a fuss and the police got their handcuffs out to put him in cuffs. He shut up and left without saying anything more.

The bidding started again and the prices I was hearing were so ridiculously low I again walked out on stage and this time closed the bidding refusing to sell anything. Everyone else started mumbling about how I couldn't do that and nothing that bore my label would ever sell in that town again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! I have no idea who you people think you are. What I do know is the fashions I showed here will sell, maybe not here, but they will sell. You are right I am loosing a lot of money on this show by stopping the bidding but I'm afraid I would have lost more than just a few dollars had I allowed the bidding to continue. I know what these fashions should be going for and it seems none of you want to pay the price, so none of you will get to have one of these original fashions." I turned back to the models and let them know the outfit they wore that night were theirs to keep, it was all I had to give as a bonus for all the hard work they put in.
  11. ##  Chapter 9

A month and a half then Paris. The fashions for Paris were already underway, Annette doing everything to insure each outfit was done to perfection. Monique and Michelle met with me for a couple hours everyday going over the models we should take with both knowing they were choreographing and modeling on the runway for the shows.

They came to me with a list of about three dozen models saying to have the models we took with do all four shows was asking the impossible. I insisted they get the list down to a more manageable figure preferring the list have no more than a dozen models, once we got there we could pick up models there to complete the requirements for each show. They thought about it and Michelle decided to stay in New York getting things ready here, while Monique said if we were to get the rest of the models we would need in Paris she should go over and see about finding them, so made arrangements to go to Paris with still a month and a half to get everything ready.

I sat back once everything was decided about how we were picking our models, knowing Monique would come up with the models we would need to fill out the shows. Michelle cut the list down to an even dozen models with six alternates in case some of the first dozen wouldn't be able to make it. Once the list was approved the models started working on the shows as best they could without heading over to Paris so they could work with the models from there.

"Come in Angela. What can I do for you." Angela was the first pick from both Monique and Michelle. She was one of the best and this was to be her debut as an international model.

"Miss Carlson I... Miss Carlson I have to bow out of going," she said.

I looked up at her and frowned. "Angela I can't promise another opportunity like this will ever come along. Would you care to give me a reason or leave it as is?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson I'm afraid to fly. When I came to New York I did so by train. I've never been on an airplane," she said.

I sat back in my chair and giggled. It seemed like forever ago that I got on an airplane for the first time and in reality it had been just a little more than a year. That first flight was a little nerve racking, and I'm sure it would have been even worse had I not been flying first class. I pushed my chair back and got up coming around my desk so I could talk more intimately, and sound a little less like a boss.

"Angela if you can't fly it will be awfully hard to be there and I really would love to see you there. Do you trust me?" She nodded she did. "Take my hands, I want to show you something." I reached my hands out to her.

As she took my hands the world around us disappeared. "Angela look," I said. "This is what might be only, the details might and likely will change, but the concept is right."

The lights went down as the crowd in the auditorium quieted for the start of the show. The music started and Angela walked out on the runway beaming a smile from ear to ear. The MC started giving a description of the outfit she was wearing, a chiffon and satin dress. She swished turning this way and that, bowing to the crowd curtsying, then turning and sashaying back off the runway. As she left the runway the crowd broke into applause, and she turned and curtsied again and scurried off the ramp to clear it for the next model.

The images faded and again the lights went dark as the spot light came on the model getting ready to enter the ramp for the runway. Angela came up to the model and whispered in her ear and turned and went back out-of-the-way. The model did her walk and on leaving the runway received a rounding applause. She came over to Angela and thanked her for the encouragement. The scene faded yet again.

This time I stood out on the stage in the spotlight reaching as though to draw the models out on stage with me. "Ladies and gentlemen, the models for our show tonight." The models all walked out on stage with me, Angela coming out with Michelle and Monique, standing apart from the other models. The scene faded and the world was back as it had been.

Angela looked at me and frowned. It was plain she understood what I said. Her frown was more a how could I show what hadn't even happened yet.

"Angela is there something wrong? The future is a mystery even for those who can see it as I can. If you don't go with to Paris what you saw won't be, even if you do go it may not be as you have seen, you have a chance to be one of the greatest models if you will take the chance," I said.

"I promise I will think about it a little more Miss Carlson. I'm not sure just what it is you did, or how you did it, but if what I saw is a possibility, it's one I feel I need to really consider more carefully. I fear flying because I've never done it before, maybe it isn't as bad as I fear, so I'll think about it a little more," she said.

The shows were set the models chosen, all that remained was getting everyone to Paris so we could get things coordinated between those from here and those Monique had found there. Dad told me to use his plane since it was more than big enough for everyone we were taking along with all the outfits and props we had to take. I scheduled the flight for one month to the day before the first show was scheduled. The props and clothes were all taken over to the plane the day before we were scheduled to leave, and all the models and support crews were given the day off to get ready for the long flight the next day.

"Dad are you sure you won't come with?" I asked.

"Connie there is nothing I would love more than to be there for your first international show, but we both know my health won't allow it. Honey I couldn't be more proud of anyone then I am you. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe I would be the father of someone who will change the world in ways no one can begin to understand. That you happen to have the talent you do to design as well, I know everything is going to work out how it should," he said.

The next morning everyone showed up at the office an hour earlier then I requested. I hoped to go over a few last minute details while I waited for them to get there and found I didn't have that luxury when they all started arriving.

"Dad will you say something to them while I finish getting everything straightened out so I know what's going on here as well as there," I said.

Dad gathered everyone together and started going into how they had been chosen because they had shown they were the best. About how they were going to be setting new trends in Europe just as had been done here in New York. He let them know how much he valued their hard work and dedication, their support of me, and showed it in the professionalism they had shown thus far.

"Angela are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson I have never been more sure of anything. I still don't have any idea how you could have shown me what you did, but I do know I have to go with. I haven't been able to think of anything else since that day," she said.

I smiled and gave her a hug. "I think you're making the right decision. The shows wouldn't be nearly as good without you, but more important I don't think you would ever reach your true potential without this, and that to me is worth everything," I said.

Everything needed was in place. Fashionista ten would stay here and the flight crew were aware that there was a chance they would need to leave for Paris on short notice, so needed to be ready to go when the call came. I hated that this had to happen so soon. I wanted to have more time with dad, but didn't see anyway of making it happen. As much as I wanted to stay I knew I needed to go. Marie and I hadn't come to that close relationship we needed to have, and this trip was where it would happen and we both knew it.

Antoinette and I still hadn't spent any time together other than to know who each other were in this life. Antoinette still didn't know about the before time, about how one little girl had volunteered for something she had no idea what, only that God wouldn't accept her if she wasn't the right person for the job. Even more though she didn't know about the older sister who volunteered as well and would have an even greater responsibility. A responsibility of insuring her younger sister was able to do the job she was needed for and then take the work her sister did and continue it on, taking it beyond what her sister would be able to. The love between Antoinette and I was there already I saw it when we first met. Antoinette didn't understand her love, not yet at any rate, but in time she would. In time she would understand everything.

I wished things could be different, but knew they couldn't. How many times I wished I could change what I knew the future held, at the same time being grateful God had chosen me for the task at hand. So many who thought they understood the will of God, yet tried to force Gods will as they saw it on others simply because they couldn't accept that Gods will for their life was his will for their life alone, and his will for someone else might be different.

How easily they forgot the first commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength. And the second was like unto it to love your neighbor as yourself. If what they showed as love toward their neighbor was love, they didn't have the love of God in their lives, and the will of God was lost to them. I wondered how many of them could survive the Kiss of Life, how many of them could stand before the judgment throne and make the right choice, the choice for life.

Dad finished talking to everyone and said the cars were waiting out front. As everyone headed for the cars I held back wanting to spend just a few more minutes with the father I barely knew. Michelle and Angela held back as well hoping to ride over to the airport with me, and go over some of the details of the one show only Michelle and Angela from the group we had, would be in, all the other models would be those Monique found in Paris. As I watched the last of the cars leave I knew it would be a helicopter ride to the airport for the three of us, and hoped dad would be willing to come with and see us off.

"You're going to be late if you don't get going dear," Dad said.

I giggled and smiled at him. "No dad, I'm not going to be late, even if I miss Fashionista one I could always take Fashionista ten and still get there ahead of everyone. Dad will you come see us off?" I asked.

"You're worried aren't you? You're worried that I won't be here when you get back. Connie I'm not going anywhere, when you get back in a couple months I'll still be here making everyone as uncomfortable as I can," he said.

He knew how to get a smile out of me, for how little time we had known each other, he had proven he loved me many times over. I couldn't bring myself to tell him I knew what would happen while I was gone, I just couldn't tell him this was the last we would see each other in this life. If I had maybe he would have been willing to go with, but that wasn't how it was supposed to happen, so I didn't tell him, I just let him know I loved him for all he was.

As we hugged Michelle and Angela came over and wanted to know just how we were getting to the airport before the plane took off. Dad and I both laughed since we hadn't let anyone else in on just how that was going to happen.

"Would you two stop worrying so much. Everything is taken care of and we will likely get to the airport ahead of all but the flight crew." We headed to the roof with Michelle and Angela in tow, just as the elevator doors opened on the roof they heard the helicopter warming up. "You still worried about getting there in time?" I asked.

They both gave me a dirty look and followed dad and I to the helicopter and got in. as I said we did get to the airport ahead of everyone but the flight crew, who hadn't attended the meeting, instead they came straight to the hanger and worked on getting everything ready for the flight.

Dad wanted to talk to the Captain alone so I busied myself getting everything set up to go over what all was going to take place once we landed in Paris. Michelle, Angela, and I sat talking until everyone else finally arrived. I charged Michelle with making sure everyone only kept what they really needed with them on the plane and put everything else in the cargo hold. I then went in search of dad and the Captain to find out how long it would be before we could think about getting in the air.

I found them in the hanger office drinking a cup of coffee so poured myself a cup and took a seat waiting for them to say something.

"Miss Carlson it looks like as soon as the last of the baggage is stowed we can see about getting clearance for takeoff," the captain said.

I turned to dad and smiled knowing it might be the last time he would get to see my smile on this side of life. "Dad I love you so much," I said tears streaming down both cheeks.

"I love you so much too Connie. Now it isn't like we aren't going to see each other again so stop the tears already," Dad said.

I sniffed back a sob, and hugged him tighter, kissing his cheek, while shuddering trying to stop the tears. Why couldn't I save him? Why did this have to happen? I wanted to know my father better and felt I needed more time to do that. He hugged me as tight as I hugged him and kissed my cheek the same as I had done his. He then pushed me back to arm length not letting go, but enough that we could look in each others eyes.

"Connie this plane is now yours as is the company. I'm officially retiring this afternoon, naming you the new CEO of Fashionista," he said.

That wasn't how it was supposed to be. The vision showed me becoming the CEO because dad died not retired. If he changed things by retiring perhaps he wouldn't die while I was in Paris. Perhaps I would get the chance to know him better."Dad are you sure? This company is your dream, are you sure you want to trust it to me already?" I asked.

"Connie I've watched you put these shows together, watched as you did what you knew you needed to in order to be ready for this trip. I'm sure what I am doing will be the best for everyone. I want to spend time with you getting to know you and be a father to you. Something I hadn't been able to do when you were growing up." I bowed my head thanking God for this sweet wonderful man he had given me for a father. "Connie the doctors have told me if I don't retire I likely won't live three months because of the stress of running the company. As much as I would love to say I'm ready to meet God, I can't. I'm afraid of standing in front of the judgment throne right now, this isn't going to give me much more time if any, but it might give me enough to get better acquainted with the one person in this life that means more to me than anything else in this world," he said.

The tears started rolling down my cheeks faster, he knew what would happen if he didn't make this change, he also knew that making the change might not change the outcome. I asked him to call Ellen and see if she would be willing to meet me in Paris in a couple of days. I needed a company president to run things so I could concentrate on the fashions without having to worry about the day to day business as well. He agreed and the Captain said it was time to get on board, or get left behind. Since I didn't want to get left behind I gave dad another big hug and ran to the plane.

Within fifteen minutes we were getting ready to take off one plane ahead of us and one coming in then our turn. Everyone was sitting with seat-belts on as we prepared to take off. Five more minutes passed and the captain started increasing the power to the engines. I unbuckled as fast as I could and ran for the cockpit.

"Captain wait!" I yelled all the way to the cockpit.

As I reached the door the Captain heard me and powered down the engines. "Miss Carlson we just got clearance to take off, what is it? Why are you saying wait?" he asked.

The radio came alive that a plane was on its way in with no fuel, and no radio. The Captain looked at me strangely and watched as a leer jet came screaming past on the runway we were just going to get on.

"Okay Captain if the tower says it's okay to take off now please do," I said.

The captain contacted the tower again and asked for the okay to start takeoff procedures again. The tower gave him clearance and he again powered up the engines and turned onto the runway for takeoff. Once we were in the air the head flight attendant said the Captain wanted to talk to me. I asked her to have him join me in the sleeping compartment and once we were an hour out of Paris let me know.

"Miss Carlson how on earth did you know that leer was coming in like that?" the captain asked.

"I didn't Captain. I had no idea what the problem was only that had you gone onto the runway people would have died," I said.

"Who are you Miss Carlson? I've been hearing stories about you for the last year, stories that don't make much sense to me," he said.

"Do you believe in God Captain?" I asked.

He sat down and gave me a look of unbelief I would ask that kind of question. "You do know Miss Carlson that I don't have to answer that question I'm sure, so why are you asking it?" he asked.

"Captain you asked me a question I'm not sure how to answer without knowing if you do, or do not believe in God. If you choose not to answer or to lie then I either can't give you an answer or the answer I give may make less sense than the stories you have heard about me," I said.

He looked up and shook his head as though unsure of anything any longer. He knew had he finished the turn onto the runway everyone in that leer and likely half the people in this airplane would have died. He had received conformation the runway was clear and we had clearance to takeoff, but that wouldn't have stopped the deaths, my actions did.

"Miss Carlson I believe there is something out there helping, but to say I believe in God, no, I'm sorry Miss that I can't do," he said.

"Fair enough Captain. For the record I do believe in God. What is more is I believe he called me for something extra special before time began. The stories give me credit for things that seem impossible, don't they?" I asked.

He shook his head affirming what I felt was the truth. "I never paid much attention to those stories, but they have stuck with me. After what almost happened back in New York those stories seem just a little more real. There is no way you could have known what was happening, yet you were the only one who seemed to know. When that leer went by you didn't seem particularly surprised, like you knew whatever the trouble was it was now gone," he said.

"Captain have you ever had a feeling of impending danger? You knew something bad was going to happen so you delayed something. Like sitting at a light after it turned green and having someone blow through the light from the other direction. As soon as they were by you knew the danger was past so went on as though nothing happened?" I asked.

He again shook his head that he understood. Strange that it was me who felt the danger, yet I seemed to be the only one who did. The Captain returned to the cockpit and I laid down and slept.

********

"Yes I understand that Ellen. I know if I step off this plane they will arrest me for the problems in the company. I don't have a choice though they aren't going to let the plane take off again as long as I am on it.

Ellen I want you to make sure Antoinette doesn't see them arrest me. Take care of her while we're here and do what you can to see I don't spend anymore time locked up than can be helped."

"Connie you shouldn't have to be locked up at all. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Ellen do you have any idea who these men are? Do you really think they are working for the government? I need you to go to Washington on this. I need the justice department to know what is going on."

********

I knew it had to happen, I just didn't know how, or when it would happen.

I didn't understand I wasn't home for dad funeral this time. Was dad alive or not? I didn't know and wasn't sure how to find out. If I wasn't home for dad's funeral, why was I there, what possible reason was there for me to be in this situation?

I didn't have the answer and didn't know how to get the answer. This time the events were all the same just the circumstances had changed bringing on the events. Okay so things could be changed to a degree, but how much could they be changed? I felt I really needed to know the answer to that, but wasn't sure anyone would have that answer.

I got up and joined the others. As I joined them the flight attendant told me we were about an hour out of Paris. I didn't understand how that happened, but it seemed to be a pattern. I would lay down right after takeoff and an hour before we would land I was up feeling refreshed but drained at the same time. I didn't always remember the visions, but this one stuck. Dad wasn't dead this time, but things still had to happen that would mean I would end up in the custody of men who would do everything they could to make me feel less human than animal, men determined to take something from me I wasn't willing to give, my dignity.

Marie met us in Paris and immediately told me we needed to continue my training. I laughed and simply assented to her wishes. Telling her I was now the CEO wouldn't have changed anything about her trying to bully me into something I thought I had a better grasp on then she ever would so I meekly went along with what she wanted about my training.

"Connie it is important that you understand the meaning of the visions you have. I know you have a vision on the way here, I can tell just hearing what everyone says about you needing to lie down. So sweetheart, I wish you to tell me about this vision that together we can understand," Marie said.

I told her I had seen the vision before, but this time it was different. This time my papa was still alive and yet the rest of the details of the vision remained the same. I told her I believed the vision would become reality in about a month starting with my first show there in Paris. Before I had always received a phone call telling me my papa had past into the next life and I was now the head of the company. But this time the call hadn't come my papa was still alive, but I needed to go back to New York a few days after the first show. I needed Antoinette to go with me and after about three days in New York I would again return to Paris alone, just in time for my second show. She knew I was leaving out details, but never said anything until I stopped.

"Sweetheart, this is all very nice, but you leave out so much I cannot make anything of it. If you wish me to help you understand, I need to know more of what you see in these visions," she said.

"Mom what I see in this vision I understand. I do not understand why it changed as it did, but I do understand the vision. I do not know why it was so important for me to return to New York but it was. The vision did not tell me any of those things only that the events that did not change will happen," I said.

Marie looked at me with a new understanding. She now knew I could interrupt the visions as well as she could, possibly even better, since the visions I had were clearer then the ones she had. She asked what changed that dad might still be alive in this vision when in the previous versions I had always been returning to New York for his funeral.

"I am now the CEO of Fashionista, mom. Papa made me the CEO just before we left New York, he wishes to retire because the stress of the company was killing him. Now he doesn't have that stress," I said.

"You seem pleased with this honey. Do you think you are ready for such a thing as to be the CEO of Fashionista? It is much work you have not prepared for, no?" she asked.

"Yes mom. It is much work and I will manage if you will help me. I need you to be my assistant to help me know the things that I need to tend to when they need to be tended to. Mom I need to move to France because I need to have you helping me and I know you will not move to America," I said.

"You have seen all this in the visions?" she asked.

"Yes mom!" I said.

Marie agreed to be my personal assistant, though she said she would not wear my designs unless they had been released to the public first. I started laughing since I didn't care if she wore my designs at all. I just wanted her to look good which was why I offered her my designs in the first place.

The next day Marie and Antoinette showed up in my office wanting to know just what they were supposed to do.

"Antoinette your job is to come up with a way of teaching me French so I can better work out of this office. In the mean time I am willing to help you with English so when the time comes you will be better able to do the job that will be yours," I said.

Antoinette gave me a strange look that said more than words could have. Marie looked at me as though to say she wanted to know just what I had in mind for Antoinette.

"I have a way for you mademoiselle Carlson that French can be easy for you. While you are here it is only French you speak, if you are not so sure the words then you do not speak," Antoinette said.

"Antoinette that will work at home, but here in the office I have to deal with people who do not speak French, but do speak English. So how about we do it this way. If I am dealing with you or mom then I use only French even here in the office, but otherwise I use English as needed here at work," I suggested.

She smiled at me and agreed saying we should start that day. I gave her a dirty look but didn't argue. I turned to mom and she just looked at me finally realizing that under non-work situations I would always bow to Antoinette's lead as though she were my older sister. Antoinette smiled figuring she had a way of bettering me even though I was the boss at work.

At lunch time Marie invited me to go with her and Antoinette to Marie's moms for lunch. She told me if I wanted to know what real French food was I needed to stay away from the tourist restaurants, and there was no better time to learn to be French than the present. I asked her if she gave this kind of reception to others who visited Paris and got a dirty look in return.

"Sweetheart you are French. You may not know it yet, but one day France will be your home, and you are already my daughter so you will learn to be French now," Marie said.

When we arrived at Marie's moms home I gasped. I knew this woman, but had never seen her in any visions or met her since I had arrived in Paris this time or last.

"Dear you have met my mother?" Marie asked.

" _No_ _mom,_ _I_ _have_ _not_ _met_ _grandmother_ _before_ _today,_ _but_ _I_ _know_ _her,_ _or_ _at_ _least_ _I_ _know_ _her_ _family_ ," I said.

"Marie who is this child, how could she know my family? Come here girl, let me see you," Grandmother said.

I stepped forward so she could see me better, I was wearing an outfit that exposed my arms and she saw the birthmark on my left arm.

"What is this? Marie is it not like yours?" she asked.

"Yes mom, only mine is not so dark," Marie said.

Annette looked at my birthmark and then at Marie's, seeing that indeed mine was darker and easier to make out. She turned again to Marie.

"She is the one you speak of in your stories? The one who will change the world?" Annette asked.

"Yes mom, she is the one," Marie said.

"Then she saw my past and its future. A long time, the world has been waiting for you young lady. French is not your first language, is it?" Annette asked.

" _No_ _grandma,_ _it_ _is_ _not_ _my_ _first_ _language,_ _but_ _it_ _will_ _become_ _my_ _first_ _language_ _just_ _as_ _it_ _became_ _a_ _first_ _language_ _for_ _you._ _English_ _is_ _the_ _language_ _that_ _I_ _was_ _raised_ _with_ _just_ _as_ _it_ _is_ _the_ _language_ _you_ _were_ _raised with._ _Like_ _you,_ _I_ _was_ _born_ _in_ _America,_ _in_ _the_ _same_ _city_ _you_ _were_ _born_ _and_ _raised_ ," I said.

"If English is your first language please let us speak English, it is a language I have not spoken in a very long time, and I know my daughter and granddaughter both know it," Annette said.

Marie gave her mother a dirty look, then scowled at me as though daring me to speak English. Antoinette laughed and said it was fine with her if just this once I spoke in English though she hadn't thought I would be able to carry on the conversation in French as I had.

"Antoinette your sister does not speak the French so well unless she holds her Power given from God, then her French is even better than yours," Marie said.

We had a wonderful lunch and caught Annette up on her relatives back in the States. Marie gave me a funny look that I would know so much about Annette's family. So I let them know the man I had bonded was her grand nephew. Richards father was Annette's nephew from Annette's younger sister, her brothers family I didn't know much about other than a few names. Annette let it be known she would love to go back to America sometime and see her family again, but her life had been in France for long enough now, she only wanted to visit not move back.

Once we got back to the office I asked Marie to find out what it would take to let her mother go home to visit with her family she had left so long ago.

"Sweetheart, mother would love to be able to see those she loved so long. How will you get her there? Mother is still American?" she asked.

"Yes mom, grandmother is still American," I said.

Marie smiled and nodded her head as she thought of all the times she had argued with her mother about America, it made sense to her now why her mom had defended America yet refused to speak English. The desire of her mom that all of her children learn English. It made sense because Annette didn't know if she would ever see her home country again, or those she had left so long ago.

"Mom I can understand grand-mama not going back to America. I know how it is she came to be in France, and also why she never returned," I said.

"Yes Dear I am sure you do understand, you understand many things I do not, but you have Power that no one has ever had before as well," Marie said.

Marie's statement of me having Power no one had ever had before hit me in a way I never expected. It alerted me to the fact I was using the Power more and more just to try fitting into society in Paris. I didn't want to be an outsider and if I couldn't speak the language that was exactly what I was. With the Power French was my first language it had always been my first language while holding the Power. No, that wasn't right with the Power I could understand any language as though I had grown up speaking it. Every language in the world was like a first language to me if I reached out for the Power. Dangerous ground Connie, to know what others said just because you didn't want to feel left out? If I was going to be an insider in Paris it couldn't be because I had a Power no one else did, it had to be because I was an insider, I had to do what was required to learn the language so I could talk to others without having to draw on the Power God entrusted me with.

"Mom, I need to ask, can you tell when I touch the Power?" I asked.

Marie looked at me and giggled. "Yes dear, it is easy to tell when you touch that which is given you. I do not understand why you ask this, but if it is because you do not know, then I will tell you if that is your wish," she said.

I gave Marie a hug and thanked her for understanding. "Mom, I do not wish to be welcome because I have not earned the welcome, I really wish to learn French because to me it is the language I should have been taught as a child. Papa was not part of my life growing up so had no chance to teach it to me, and mom did not teach it to me because she wished me to fit in living in America. Mom did not know I am the Daughter of Life, she did not tell me the stories, she did not understand many things. Now I know the stories, I know I am French, and of the line back to the time of the Lord. I wish to have my heritage, because it is my heritage, but more because I have shown I am French, because I have learned the French ways not taken them with what is not mine, but has been entrusted to me," I said.

Antoinette came in as I finished saying the part of wanting to be French because I had shown I am French. She looked from Marie to me and shook her head. She knew I was the Daughter of Life, Marie told her I was the fulfillment of the prophecy's she had been taught all her life. She didn't say anything just looked at us going from one to the other. So many things about her life were different now. She felt the bond between us, the bond of sisters who have been separated without knowing they had been separated. After about five minutes of no one saying anything she looked at me and asked.

"Connie I know we are sisters but I know you are not the natural daughter of my mom. How then can we be sisters?"

I looked up and laughed, I had my conformation of her knowledge of who I was. She didn't yet understand who she was and she likely wouldn't understand for some time yet, but she accepted I was her sister, that was enough for now.

"I could show you how it is possible Antoinette, but do you have the faith to accept it is so without the knowledge of how it is so?" I asked.

She frowned at me and stood as though to leave. She turned back to me and stared me in the eye, a big smile coming to her face and laughed.

"Yes I can accept, if one day you feel it is important to show me I will be eager to see this truth. Tonight we will go out so mom can have time to visit with grand-mama." She turned back to the door and left.

She hadn't given me an option in whether, or not we were going out she just told me we were. In the office I was the boss, but everywhere else she was the big sister and she wasn't about to let me think otherwise. I looked at Marie and started laughing. It didn't take Marie long to start laughing with me realizing that I was now part of the family. No I wasn't French yet, I still had a long way to go before I was French, but I was family now.

My French started improving quickly. At first Antoinette said I sounded like a Canadian, but as time past she up graded it to just poor Parisian French. I took it as a very nice compliment that at last she considered my French good enough to at least be French even if it was bad French. She never did tell me I sounded like an American trying to speak French. That to me was a very good compliment since I knew Marie hated dads French because he sounded like an American.

The night of the first show was getting close fast, two more days and I would find out what Paris thought of my fashions. Would they like them, or tell me to go back home to America and let real designers set the standards for Europe? Two days and I would have my answer.

I called Ellen and asked her when she could come to Paris so we could talk. She said she had been waiting for my call, but it would be at least two days before she could get to Paris so we could talk about anything. She didn't want to discuss anything on the phone because she said all of Fashionista's phones were being monitored due to the internal problems in the company. The FBI obtained permission to tap all company phones. That I found out by using the phone in my room at the hotel. I tried to call her from the office, but she insisted we not talk as long as I was on a company phone.

"Alright Ellen what is going on? Why did you cut me short when I called you earlier?" I asked.

"Connie I did that because all of Fashionista's phones are tapped even those in Paris. We can talk now but even this isn't safe long," she said.

"I need you here were we can talk Ellen. Don't ask me what about I am not at liberty to say if there is a chance someone else is listening. How soon can you get here?" I asked.

"It will take a couple days to make flight arrangements Connie," she said.

"No Ellen it won't it will take a phone call and the flight arraignment will be made. Ellen you know what this is about, we talked about it before, this time it isn't just talk, this time it's the real deal. I want you here tomorrow if you can be ready by then," I said.

So many things happening and I still had no idea what could get me back to New York to bring the vision to life. I knew it would I just couldn't figure out how and at the moment I didn't have time to worry about what could happen drawing me back to New York.

"Monique is everything ready?" I asked.

"Yes, I believe this show will convince the world you are the best," Monique said.

Tonight was dress rehearsal. The designs were already and had been fitted to the models who would be wearing them. The music was done and ready to go, music that the world had never heard before. The show title was set, A Night of Romance Under the Lights of Paris. I didn't like it, but as yet hadn't come up with anything better. That's it "Paris Nights." Of course that would work better.

The night Antoinette took me out on the town should have been the clue I needed. How many had come up to us wanting to know where they could get something like we were wearing. Yes Paris was ready for my designs, they were desperate for my designs. In fairness there were outfits that night I found wonderful, but nothing to match what this show was going to showcase. This show was an all new look that titillated the imagination beyond anything I had seen so far. Nothing revealing, but the imagination was stimulated beyond normal restraints. Both male and female designs had a way of showing the wearers greatest assets without showing anything that shouldn't be shown. Yes Paris was ready for my designs, not only Paris, but the world as a whole.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fashionista. Tonight we introduce a new designer for the world market. Miss Connie Carlson."

I stood there waiting for the microphone to come on. Tonight was a night I had waited for, it seemed forever.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for being here for the first show I designed for outside of America. It is a great honor to be here tonight. As long as I can remember, it was a dream of mine to visit France. Tonight, our models will be modeling fashions that have been designed with this dream in mind. Ladies and gentlemen, the show One Night in Paris!"

The show was going great Angela was at the top, showing why it was we wanted her there so badly. About half way through the show my phone rang.

"Hello!" I answered.

"Connie, is there any chance of you coming home in the next day or so?" dad asked.

"Dad? What's going on? If it's important of course I could be home in a couple days," I said.

"Connie the FBI wants to talk to you." There was noise in the back ground that sounded like a hospital.

"Dad are you at the hospital?" I asked.

"I'm fine Connie, just had to come in for some tests," he said.

I promised I would be home in three days two if things worked out. Dad wasn't telling me something, but I didn't know what, and he wasn't about to slip up with a clue that could have said more than he'd already told me.

So this was how I got home now. Dad was still the key, but this time it wasn't his death.

"Mom I need to talk with you privately," I said.

"Yes dear," she said.

"Mom I need to go back to New York. Ellen is due here tonight and I want to see if we can't get this mess of who is corrupt in the company straightened out before I return," I said.

"Antoinette will go with when you return to New York?" she asked.

"Yes mom she will. I want her to be Ellen's personal assistant just as you are mine," I said.

"You did not tell me this before, so you will take my daughter away from me to serve an American she will not like?" Mom said.

"No mom I won't do that. I will leave the choice to her to accept or not. I need her to take this job I am offering for her sake not mine. Mom it will only be for a few years that she will live in America and we will see her often," I said.

"What is it you need? What can I do that will make this easier for you and her. Connie she will not refuse you this, because of who you are, it is her life to watch over the Chosen of God," Mom said.

"So many things I can not share with you mom, I wish I could. She is my sister, my older sister. Mom her work is more important than the work that is mine," I said.

"This can not be Connie, the stories all tell of you. So how can you tell me that Antoinette is more important than you?" Mom asked.

"Mom I tell you that because it is true. The work of God that is Antoinette's is even more important than the work that is mine. The work I will do is important, but it will also come with a great price, a price that I cannot tell you mom. The work Antoinette will do will bring the Lord of Hosts again into the world of men," I said.

Marie looked at me with total disbelief in her expression. To think that the one everyone had been waiting for all this time would say that someone else would preform the work that had been credited to her was unthinkable.

"Mom there will be two Daughters of Life after me. One I do not know, and will likely never meet in this life, and my daughter, the daughter of my sister," I said.

"You have seen this?" she asked.

"No I have not seen this, at least not all of it, but I still know it to be true," I said.

So many things I knew, but had never seen. Yes I had seen my daughter, and the mark of the Daughter of Life on her arm, a mark that no one other than those who weren't affected by what I would do could understand. Something only my sister and the next Daughter of Life would know. It would be visible to the world, even mine was now visible most of the time to anyone who cared to look. The big difference was that by the time my daughter came into her Power no one but her mother and mentor would know what the mark meant. How could I tell Marie that it was Antoinette who would be the one to face the biggest obstacles, that what I faced was nothing in comparison. So much that I couldn't share, yet knew in my heart was true.

I got word Ellen was now in Paris and made arrangements for her to be at the office by ten o'clock the following morning. The show was almost over and I still needed to say something, something that would let everyone know just how important this show was to me, and to the world. The bidding started and I turned away as the opening bids were given. The prices I heard in New York were nothing compared to the prices the Europeans seemed willing to pay. The designs weren't really much different, but it was as though these people were here telling me I belonged to them, my fashions were European fashions not American.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Connie Carlson."

I walked up on stage and stood there as the applause died down so everyone would be able to hear me.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you! Thank you! It is an honor to be here in Paris. Tonight was a dream of my childhood, I know I am still a child. I am so deeply honored by the warm welcome I received. I ... I'm at a loss for words. I want to thank the models who worked long hours putting this show together. I want to thank the staff who put all these outfits together, without them this show would never have happened. I am pleased to have had the opportunity to serve the peoples of Europe. Thank you, thank you."

I turned to the models and had them return again to the runway and take a bow. The show was now officially over, but it seemed no one was in any hurry to leave. The staff brought out champagne and hors d'oeuvres passing both around the auditorium. As the champagne came my way Marie slapped my hand just before I touched a glass.

"Sweetheart you are not old enough to have the champagne," she turned to the staff member carrying the tray. "Do you have some watered wine for children who are not yet adults?"

Watered wine, I hated watered wine, yet it seemed that was the best I was going to be getting for a few years yet. After about an hour I excused myself so I could get a little sleep before I met with Ellen in the morning.

"Come in Ellen," I said.

"Beautiful office. Connie is there a reason you brought me over here?" she asked.

"Ellen I have a proposition for you, one I'm sure you will find amicable," I said.

She took the chair opposite me and just stared at me.

"I need a company president and you need a break though on your investigation. My proposition is that I want you to be my company president. I want it bad enough to give you full access to every system of Fashionista, nothing in the computers will be denied you access and anything you can't get to I will give you the help you need to get to it," I said.

"You do realize that doing that opens you up to liability for whatever I find that can be attached to you in any way. Connie I'm with the justice department and investigating your company," she reminded me.

"I know. I also know that by doing this it looks like I may be trying to shift anything you find to someone else. Ellen think about it, I'm the one who gave you your biggest break in this investigation so far. I want my company cleaned up, and I know you can do that, but more I know you can handle the business end of this company better than I can," I said. "Dad retired just before I came to Paris making me the CEO. I haven't been able to do much of anything because the board is standing in the way. The fight I have with them makes trying to run the business and be a fashion designer near impossible, right now I want to be a designer so I need someone I can trust to run the business end of things."

She didn't say anything right away. I began to wonder if she had gone to sleep on me when she shifted in her seat and placed her hands on the desk as though to stand.

"Connie I'm flattered you feel you can trust me that much, but I do work for the government and right now it would be a conflict of interest for me to accept such a position," she said.

"If it got you everything you needed to complete this investigation wouldn't it be worth taking the chance?" I asked. "Ellen, you and I both know whatever is going on inside Fashionista started before I even knew I was the only daughter of James Beauchea. If dad has done something wrong he should be held accountable for it, but I don't think he has. I don't know who is behind the corruption, but I don't think it's dad and I know it isn't me. I now have a way of finding out available and if I don't take it I am just as guilty as those behind it. You know what it is you're looking for I don't. I'm willing to open everything in my computers to you if you will take the job of president at least until your investigation is over and find me someone else who is as capable as you are."

She sat back in her chair and looked at me as though trying to understand just what I knew she didn't. Why would I be willing to make such an offer unless I knew something.

"You do realize this is only until this investigation is over and you've found someone else?" she asked.

"I understand. Now may I show you everything so we can get started. Ellen I have some friends on their way here to help you with any files your access codes won't open, they aren't hackers, but they can hack better than most from what I've heard," I said.

I showed her around introducing her to Antoinette and Marie.

"Antoinette I want you to assist Ellen the way mom does me. She will be your boss if she fires you then you are fired. Please try to get along with her," I said.

Antoinette gave me a dirty look and I asked her to stay after Ellen left.

"What is this that you make me work with an American?" Antoinette asked.

"Do you forget I too am an American? Antoinette I need you to work with her because I trust you even more than I trust her. I also wish for you to learn all she can teach you because one day you will need all she can teach you and more besides," I said.

"You have seen into my future!" A statement not a question.

"Yes Antoinette, I have, but more importantly I have seen into our past. Will you work hard for her as mom does for me, please?" I asked.

I didn't know if she would understand why our past was more important than our future, but she didn't argue with me. Over the next two days Ellen, Antoinette, Marie, and I all worked very closely to find the problems inside the company. We ran up against several files even I couldn't open with my access codes. The second day Erin, Judy, Cindy, and Paula showed up.

I asked Erin if she had that program ready for me yet only to find out they were already installing it.

By lunch time the program was installed and running. Judy said it would take about an hour to go through all the company files, then another hour to do its comparison for inconsistencies. Two hours, and not much we could do until the program was done running its cycle. We headed for lunch and I asked Ellen if she would think about taking the job fully once the truth about who was behind the corruption was exposed and the company clean. She refused to commit to anymore then just saying she would think about it.

Once we got back to the office we found the program still hadn't finished and had hit several files it couldn't look at even with the code breaking that had been built into it. Erin and Judy started working on breaking the codes for the files the program bypassed when it hadn't been able to crack the codes. Ellen and I started looking at who those files belonged to and found most all of them belonged to the members of the board of directors. Erin found the codes all seemed to have a common characteristic that once that was found made breaking the codes seem easy. Once we knew what we had we also found that most of the files the scan program hadn't been able to look at had the big keys to were the problems were. It seemed a couple of the board members had a gambling problem that lead them to laundering money for Mario Merino.

We also discovered a couple other board members were into drugs and siphoning a little here and there to pay for their addictions. All in all everything came back to the board members. Until we had this little connection everything was pointing at dad and I. With this information however dad and I were taken out of the loop of the corruption entirely.

Ellen started making backups of everything going over everything involved in the corruption.

"Connie this is incredible. This is everything I need to stop the corruption inside your company. There is a problem though. Connie I haven't got anything without these files other than the stuff pointing to you and your father, she said."

We talked about getting everything back to the States and doing what needed to be done. The vision came back, but not so I was incapacitated the way I normally was when they hit. I wondered if maybe this was how other people experienced deja vu. The plans were made for our return to New York early the next morning, Marie called my flight crew and let them know to be ready to depart just before day break.

I started feeling panicked, I knew what this trip meant, I knew what was about to happen wasn't for my benefit as much as those who would be coming after me. This was about Antoinette, to insure she would have the strength when the time came to do what needed to be done. I didn't want to suffer, I didn't want to be mistreated, but I did want to insure she was strong enough to do what was hers to do, and if that meant going through some discomfort then so be it.

I got everything together for the next show and went over what I expected with both Monique and Michelle. I let them know I would be gone until the night of the show, but would be back in time for the show to go on as scheduled. I talked to Annette and Cheryl about getting the outfits for the last two shows ready so we could get them going as soon as possible once the other shows were done. Before leaving for the day I talked to everyone involved in the shows letting them know the third show would involve children as well as adults and I wanted to have the children get started on their part of the show.

Just before day break we took off for New York. I went through the same routine I did almost every time I flew. Once in the air I found my way back to the bed in the tail of the plane and laid down until an hour before we landed. As I came back up front and joined Antoinette and Ellen I looked out the window. So this is how this was going to play out. Once on the ground at the hanger the plane would be surrounded so it couldn't taxi anywhere. Ellen and Antoinette would exit the plane with Ellen taking Antoinette into the hanger office so she didn't have to watch as I was arrested. Once I was in the back of the car Ellen and Antoinette would go to Washington DC, Antoinette going to the French consulate, and Ellen going to the justice department. I had no real idea how long all this would take, but I did know it would take at least twenty-four hours during which time I would be robbed of all humane dignity.

Once we got about twenty minutes out of New York I went up front to talk to the captain.

"Captain is the FBI waiting for us?" I asked.

"Give me a moment Miss and I'll see if I can find out... Miss the tower said nothing has changed and we will have clearance once we get inside the outer marker. If you want to change course we should do so before then," he said.

"No captain we won't be changing course, could you tell the tower to let the FBI know I will be the last one off the plane, please," I said.

I returned to my seat and watched as we got closer and closer to New York.

"Ellen can we talk for a moment?" She followed me back to the back seats. "Ellen the FBI is waiting on the ground for us. I would appreciate it if you would see Antoinette into the office until I am gone. What is about to happen she doesn't need to see," I said.

"And what is going to happen Connie? What is it that you're so afraid of? You didn't do anything and we have the proof of that right here," she said.

"Ellen please, can you do what I've asked or not?" I asked.
  12. ##  Chapter 10

At the hanger the plane was surrounded. I asked the captain to shut down the engines as soon as it was safe to do so, then went and sat back in the seat I had been occupying. It didn't take long and someone on a bull horn started telling us we were surrounded and if we didn't shut down the engines they would start putting bullets in them. The captain let them know the engines needed time to cool down running unless they wanted to pay for new ones. Ten minutes later the engines were shut down and the door open so we could exit the plane.

I held back as the others all got off, watching Ellen take Antoinette into the office. The flight crew all joined them in the office and I started crying. Why did I have to go through this I could step through the veil of time and... no I couldn't run away from this. I lifted my head and stepped out onto the steps, as I descended the stairs the men closed in. I stepped off the last stair and knew this was the last time I would be doing so as an American, from this point on I was French, even if the American government refused to withdraw my citizenship I would never again acknowledge it.

"Miss Carlson?" someone asked.

" _Yes,_ _I_ _am_ _Miss_ _Carlson_ ," I said.

"Hands on your head ma'am," they said.

" _Excuse_ _me_ _but_ _I_ _am_ _a_ _woman._ _Is_ _it_ _customary_ _for_ _men_ _to_ _search_ _a_ _woman_ _in_ _this_ _country?_ _As_ _a_ _citizen_ _I_ _ask_ _that_ _if_ _you_ _want_ _to_ _search_ _me,_ _you_ _call_ _a_ _female_ _officer_ ," I asked.

Ellen came out of the office and told the FBI agents that if any of them so much as thought of touching me she would see all of them named in a lawsuit for sexual harassment. She came over to me and did a pat search to ease the minds of the men standing there supposedly to arrest me. She put me in handcuffs since the men said it might be dangerous if I wasn't restrained at least that much.

I reached for the veil of time and found it blocked from me. No, that couldn't be, surely the Powers that had been granted me were still mine to use, but every time I reached for any of them it was like hitting a wall. I could feel them, but they were just out of reach, I was starting to feel abandoned and wasn't sure I had the strength to cope. How could I go through this without the Power to escape at some point even if the escape was only for a short time, I needed to find a way, I needed to find a strength I didn't think I had. I looked over at the office and realized this was going to take longer then I hoped.

"Connie I'm sorry but the rules are set," Michael said.

"Michael why? Why can't I have even a short time away from this?" I asked.

"I didn't set the rules Connie. It isn't me blocking you from the gift of God either," Michael said.

"Will you be with me if I need you?" I asked.

"Connie He is always with you, you know that. You have the strength if you rely on Him for your strength," Michael said.

I was ushered into the back seat of one of the cars. As soon as I was in the door closed and the car started moving. I looked at the mirror and saw Mario sitting in the passenger seat and knew I wouldn't be going to any jail owned by any government. So this was how it was, I was to be denied everything for an unknown period. I started laughing inwardly at the thought of Ellen and Antoinette trying to figure out how to get me out of jail when I wouldn't be in a jail controlled by the government. I found the idea hilarious both of them becoming so frustrated wanting to know what was going on and no one having any answers.

When the car stopped I was dragged into a building and locked in a five feet by five feet cage. There appeared to be a bench on one side and a hole in the middle. There were five men in the room, and it appeared as though they were not about to let me have any privacy for however long they held me.

" _Excuse_ _me,_ _where_ _am_ _I_ _supposed_ _to_ _relieve_ _myself_?" They ignored me as though I were simply part of the furniture, as though the question I asked had no relevance to the situation. I already knew the answer to my question, but felt the need for them to say it so the depravity of their lives would show in all of their lives not just this small part. " _May_ _I_ _at_ _least_ _have_ _a_ _curtain_ _to_ _hang_ _when_ _I_ _need_ _to_ _relieve_ _myself_?" I asked.

Mario answered in French since everything I said to that point had been in French. " _If_ _you_ _need_ _so_ _desperately_ _to_ _relieve_ _yourself,_ _then_ _do_ _it_ _like_ _the_ _bitch_ _you_ _are._ _There_ _will_ _be_ _no_ _curtain_ _or_ _other_ _means_ _by_ _which_ _you_ _can_ _hide_ _here._ _From_ _this_ _point_ _if_ _you_ _feel_ _the_ _need_ _to_ _ask_ _stupid_ _questions_ _or_ _say_ _something_ _do_ _it_ _in_ _English_ _or_ _you_ _will_ _be_ _beaten._ _French_ _is_ _no_ _longer_ _allowed_ _here._ _Have_ _I_ _made_ _myself_ _clear_ _bitch_?" He slapped me and walked away giving orders that anything I said should be in English, or the men were to slap me around, or worse have their fun with me.

Have their fun with me! I knew what that meant and I knew if that were to happen I wouldn't have the strength to live if my gift were still denied me. It seemed even the angels had abandoned me to this prison, a prison I could have easily avoided had I not come back to New York. Why did it have to be New York I came back to? Couldn't I have gone to Washington DC just as easily? No, the company was headquartered in New York, had I gone instead to Washington DC there would have been questions I couldn't have answered, so New York and this jail was the only choice.

Mario's words kept coming back again and again, If I say anything in something other than English these men had orders to abuse me in whatever way suited them short of killing me. I was French now not American, besides America didn't have an official language, it was simply assumed that English was the official language because it was the prevalent language spoken.

While I sat in that little jail Ellen was trying to figure out what was taking so long to get me booked so she could get me out. She was furious I had been arrested in the first place and now she wasn't even sure where I was so she could do something about getting me out. Antoinette insisted on going to the French Consulate to see if there was anything they might be able to do. After a few hours in that jail Michael finally showed up and told me everything they were doing trying to get me free.

"Michael is there anyway of letting Antoinette know to find Paul and ask him to help?" I asked.

"Connie you don't need to worry Paul is looking for you as well, but as yet, none of them have any idea were to look, and have not prayed for guidance. Pray that they learn the Power of prayer Connie, it is the only way they will find you. When they ask God to lead them they will find and free you from this prison. In the mean time he has asked me to let you know he hasn't forgotten you, he has many great and wondrous things he wishes to share with you, things that will help or hinder you in your mission, depending on the choices you make," Michael said.

The choices I make! Choices about what? I thought I had been shown the important matters of my life, I would have two children a girl first and a boy I would know in this life only for a few hours at most. I would have the man I have loved for so long and he would be the father of my children. I now had a mother and sister who would love me unconditionally for no other reason then I was me. What more was there I needed to know? What choices were there that could bring everything to ruin if I chose wrong?

The room went dark and time seemed to cease. I was in a room tied to a bed. A video was playing on a television set somewhere just out of sight. The voice coming from the TV was mine. At first the words sounded at ease, but as they continued the unnaturalness came through. These words were not words I would say, but the voice was without a doubt mine.

"Mmm... yes, again, do it again, please." My voice came from the TV. It wasn't so much the words that were wrong, but the inflection on the words. I had no idea I could sound that way as though whatever it was, was worth everything. As though I needed what was happening to continue. The TV came into view and I was horrified with what I saw. There I lay on that table tied so I couldn't move and some man standing behind me raping me, all while I begged him and others to do such a thing. It wasn't bad enough they were raping me, but I was pregnant as well.

I turned away from the scene and spotted Michael sitting in a corner watching me. He never said anything, but I knew what was happening made him feel ill. I felt my body starting to convulse, the spasms starting in the groin area and spreading down both legs and up into my chest and arms. I didn't understand what the spasms were, but felt myself begging for them to rape me again. In my mind I saw that the spasms would easy if these men used me as they were doing on the TV. I knew I would moan and beg as I was doing on the TV again and again. I didn't want these men touching me, but couldn't stop myself from begging them. What happened that this could be? How long had I been held in captivity that I would behave so blatantly?

The scene changed again and I was back in the cell in New York, with Michael sitting on the small bed with me.

"Michael what was that all about? Why would I have said those things?" I asked.

"Connie you know already that the visions are possibilities only, that they are given for guidance," Michael said.

"Yes Michael I know that, but what possible reason could there be for something like that?" I asked.

"It is for guidance Daughter of Life, it is to help you understand the strength which will be needed to accomplish the things set forth for you. You were the first of those Chosen, of those who came before you only the first Daughter of Life volunteered as you did and even she did so because a child stood forth first," Michael said.

I bowed my head and thanked God for all he was doing in my life. This imprisonment wasn't his doing, and had there been another way for the lessons to be learned it would have been found. The lessons in this were not for me alone, they were for all those who believed in me, those who believed in God. I now understood what Michael meant when he said it was through the prayers of those seeking me I would be found and released.

I sat there praying knowing God always hears the prayers of those who pray in earnest. I prayed for all my friends, and even for those who jailed me. I didn't pray to be released from my jail as much as I prayed that those jailing me would repent and accept the forgiveness offered through the sacrifice of Christ. Yes that's the trick if I can reach just one of these men then... no not just one, I will do my best to reach all of them, they all deserve to know the truth. Not the truth of who I am, because I am not the important one, I am but a servant of God whereas Christ is God made flesh. If I can help them internalize the truth of God... How much time do I have? Will it be enough? If it is Gods will, whatever time I have to reach out to these men will be enough, for it is God who will be doing the hard part, my roll is plant the seed.

"Monsieur may I speak with you please?" I asked.

"You are supposed to be speaking in English bitch. Don't let me hear you use anything else again," the man closest said.

"I am sorry monsieur, I did not wish to offend, I only wished to talk with you, if I have say something wrong I beg your forgiveness for my fault. The English is not so easy for me," I said.

He moved his chair over and started asking question, first about why I had trouble with English since it was the language I learned growing up. When I told him I had been in France for the last month and while there spoke nothing but French, he moved on to another question. Each question he asked I gave an answer that was true, but would lead to questions about God and salvation. It wasn't long and the other four men in the room were asking questions as well. With each question I answered, I gave a little more of the plan of salvation. By the time I needed to use the restroom they each offered to hold a blanket so I could have a little privacy. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I had seen this in a vision, but wasn't sure how it happened that I had been able to retain any form of modesty, now I knew. I had maintained modesty because the men watching me didn't dare not give me the privacy I needed. It was as though they feared if they didn't they would have to answer at the judgment throne.

In the past that might well have been true, but I didn't have access to that ability at the moment, so needed to use whatever means I had available, the same means anyone had. In this I had my faith and my knowledge in God, it was going to have to be enough.

I was sure my friends were all praying for me, I had no proof they were, but I knew Antoinette and Paul would be, I hoped dad, Ellen and my friends from school were as well. I started making progress with two of the three shifts of men who were watching me, the third shift had Mario in it, I found with that group I couldn't speak English so said nothing when possible.

Mario hated that he had to use French to understand me and found his French wasn't very good though I had no trouble understanding him in his limited French. I found myself using an old dialect of French whenever dealing with Mario, a dialect I knew he had trouble with, I didn't know why, but it seemed to give me a power over him. Many times in the time he held me he would get frustrated and walk out at which I found I could speak in broken English as soon as he was gone. With Mario out of the room I started making progress with the third shift as well.

I started looking at the tattoos the men had and found many of them had one tattoo in particular that was the same, the tattoo was in the same place, the same shape, it was like a mark of ownership. I asked about that one tattoo and they showed signs of anger that made no sense to me, if the tattoo was so important they each had it, why wouldn't they be willing to talk about it, even to the point of getting angry if anyone asked about it. A mark of slavery it had to be these men had vowed to serve one man and the tattoo was that mans mark of ownership. There was no other reason I could find for such a tattoo, these men had bound themselves to the man who wanted so much to see me broken, as to kidnap me and hold me prisoner without regard of the laws that govern men. They had given themselves into the service of one very much like the one who would reign when the Lord of Lords returned to claim his own. The difference being these men could still be saved, in that day those who wore the mark of ownership would be lost forever.

Three days I had been held captive and still no sign of freedom. The men guarding me avoided looking at me directly the whole time since they had taken over. I was wondering if maybe Mario was somewhere near.

"You ready to go home Connie?" I heard a voice ask.

I wasn't sure if the voice was real or one I heard as from a vision. I looked around and realized I was sitting not in the cell, but at the desk Mario usually sat at when he was here. How did I get here? I didn't remember moving from the cell. I reached for my gift and found it sitting right where it had always been, I touched it and found the comfort it had given me from the time I first felt it. "Peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you. Not as the world gives do I give..." Of course that was what this had been about. For me it was learning to surrender to God all things, that his peace might be with me even when it seemed all was lost.

"Yes, Antoinette I'm ready to go home. I missed you so much in recent days." I looked up into Antoinette's smiling face. "So many things happened. I am happy to go home in France." As I stood Antoinette stepped forward and took me in her arms giving me a hug, tears running down both our cheeks.

"Miss Carlson I... Is that offer to stay on as your company president... I..."

"Ellen the job is yours as long as you want it. I was hoping you would be willing to stay on once this business was dealt with. Antoinette would be a good president, but she doesn't have the experience and right now she would do better assisting you so she can learn the ins and outs of big business." I turned back to Antoinette. "All that is mine is yours. Please, I beg you sister, ask me questions about our past. I have always been your sister."

On the way to the office Antoinette contacted the flight crew and made arrangements to leave the next morning. I called Marie and asked her if she knew of anywhere there close to Paris that was for sale, something not to outlandish, but something that could give me the privacy I wanted. Once back at the office I showed Ellen the office that would be hers, the office dad tried to give me not all that long ago.

We talked about what we wanted to do about those on the board and I suggested buying up all the stock and taking the company off the market making it more a proprietorship. I didn't want to be the sole owner, but I also didn't want to have a board to answer to any longer. In my opinion between Marie, Antoinette, Ellen, and myself we could manage and run the company more efficiently and with less chance of wrong doing then had happened. Antoinette seemed to understand what I wanted, Ellen though seemed to have trouble with it saying it would cut out a lot of the money we would have staying in the open market.

"Ellen I do understand your concerns, I really do, but if we remain accountable to stock holders we limit ourselves even more. With stock holders' comes a board of directors who are supposed to be there watching out for the stock holders. Past experience is they don't do a very good job of it and slow down moves that could bring on greater growth. There are things both dad and I wanted to do, but weren't able because of the board, things I know would have made this company friendlier to its employees and changed how inflation has affected the fashion industry. This company is in the fashion industry and we do set trends in the industry, if we have to wait on people who know nothing of the industry to say yes or no we miss out on setting many of those trends," I said.

"Connie I understand not wanting to deal with people who can't see beyond the bottom line, but this company is so big and I don't think it has the liquid capital to do what you're wanting to do," Ellen said.

"Why not when dad stepped down he did so holding sixty-five percent of the company. He still holds fifteen percent and transferred the other fifty percent to me with the ten percent I already had makes me the major holder. There are only thirty-five percent of the stocks in the company still out there and I know where fifteen of those thirty-five percent are. Those who hold them can keep them and still make this company more like I want, that leaves twenty percent to buy back, and I have enough to do that in the bank now, with more than enough to hold me over for a few years without me making anymore," I said.

Ellen looked at me and started laughing, she was now starting to understand it wouldn't take much at all to make my plan work, a plan that would take Fashionista from a publicly traded company to a wholly owned corporation with no board of directors to get in the way. Antoinette already did the homework to find out what it would cost the big problem I saw was in how to do it.

"Connie the best way I know of doing this is make the offer to those holding stock at the going rate all at the same time if possible. If you try deflating the stock the government will try for insider trading. If we buy all of it at once paying the going rate no insider trading and the deed is done. We aren't talking enough stock to make it look all that strange on the market no one will even notice what happened until we take all the stock off the market," Ellen said.

"Good you buy, if I do, it will look wrong, same if Antoinette buys. I'll give you the money and call it a sign-on bonus," I said.

"That will work," Ellen said.

We went over the details of taking the company off the market, then Ellen saw Antoinette and I to my apartment. In the morning I was going back to Paris, but I had one stop before I left the States. Once in the apartment I called my pilot and told him of the stop, that I didn't think it would be for more than about an hour but to figure two just in case.

"Antoinette I need to go to Washington and would like you to come with." Antoinette didn't say anything just stood there looking at me. "I need to talk to the President about what happened. If this country can't, or won't protect its citizens, it is time I stopped being one of its citizens, I need you there for the support you can give me."

She didn't agree to go with me, but I knew she would. I called Cindy and Erin to see if there was anyway they could manage to go with as well. Paula and Judy were already in Washington, and Erin and Cindy already had plans to fly in that night, and were already on their way to the airport.

In the morning the car picked me up to head for the airport. Antoinette wasn't anywhere I could find in the apartment building. I called the office and sure enough she was already at work and apologized for not having said anything, she wanted to let me sleep so left for the office a couple hours ago.

"Connie it is important I learn this job you have given me. I will meet you at the airport if it is important you need me there, but I think maybe it is more important I learn to work with Ellen, and you have friends that will be in Washington with you today," she said.

I wasn't allowed to show her the things I wanted, things that would have helped her understand better what I said about everything that was mine would be hers, but more importantly, why I loved her so much as a sister. Yes it was important she learn the job I asked her to do, but not for the reasons she might think. It was important because Ellen was going to become her best friend and confidant once I left this world. I couldn't tell her about any of that. How she would fall in love with the man I had been betrothed to from the day I was born. How she would be the mother of my children and raise them along with her own as though they were her own. I couldn't tell her about any of the important things she would do, and how hard it would be for her to make the choices that would be hers to make, and lead to those important things. Things that would affect the entire world, and make her name a household name.

"Antoinette you do what you believe to be right. As you said my friends will be there for me, it just would have been nice to have my sister with me as well," I said.

Erin met me at the airport. From there we picked up the rest of the gang and headed to the White-House. As we entered the White-House we were greeted by some minor government employee.

"May I help you ma'am?" they asked.

"I am not a madame, but a mademoiselle. I need to see the President, can you make that happen?" I asked. She seemed to have not heard so I asked again. "Madam I need to talk to your President, can you tell me where is his office?" She still didn't show signs of any interest so I started heading toward where I felt lead.

"Ma'am that is a restricted area," someone said.

I continued in the direction I was headed with my friends in tow. The security started heading our way and I slipped the five of us through the veil of time and continued on to the oval office, entering and having my friends take a seat. I walked around the desk and placed my hand on the Presidents shoulder drawing him through the veil as well.

"Mr President you have a choice to make here. You can dismiss these other people in your office or we can talk here on this side of the veil of time where they can neither hear nor see us. You need to choose, but until you do they can neither hear nor see what we are doing," I said.

He looked up at me and frowned. "How did you get in here? Just who do you think you are?" he asked.

"My friends and I walked in, as for who I am that is quite simple. I am the Daughter of Life, the Sister of Life. To me it is given to judge those I choose through the Kiss of Life. Mr President I have no interest of giving you the Kiss of Life because I don't know if you could survive it, and your Vice President is not one the world could, or should trust. So what will it be? Will you leave these others suspended in time, or will you dismiss them so I may have a few moments of your time?" I asked.

He looked from me to my friends then the others who were in the room. Other than myself and friends he was the only one moving, not even a sign of breathing coming from anyone else. Even their facial expressions seemed frozen.

"You stopped time? That isn't possible," he said.

"For you that isn't possible Mr President, but I am not you, even my friends here can't stop time, whereas I can and have moved both ways along the time line. I cannot affect change on the time line other than by choices that are mine to make, but I can and do watch things along the time line. I use what I know of events in the future to help me make decisions in the here and now. There are things I can show you, but you wouldn't be able to use those things other than in making decisions in the here and now. The problem with making changes in the now is it does change the future as well. I cannot show you all the possibilities for the future to help you make your choices however, so anything I showed you would be subject to change because of events you changed from what I showed. There are some constants. Events that will happen regardless of anything you do or don't do. One of those for me is why I am here now," I said.

He offered to dismiss the others in the room so we could talk. I helped him back through the veil and once the others left brought all of us back into the present.

"Okay! They are gone for now. Who are you Miss?" he asked.

"My name is Connie Carlson, I just spent three days in the hands of thugs because your FBI can't keep track of its own. It was FBI agents who took me into custody as I stepped off my plane. Mr President I was born and raised here in the United States, but am working to change my citizenship to France because this isn't the first or last time my company and I will have trouble with government bureaucracy here in America. The French will welcome me with open arms, they would also accept my company with open arms. Both my company and I pay a lot of money in taxes, once I have received French citizenship the taxes I pay will stop. My company though is an international company and its current headquarters are New York City. I could move those headquarters to Paris where I am moving to, if this country cannot over come its deficiency in bureaucratic red tape," I said.

"And just what company is it we are talking about here Miss Carlson?" he asked.

"Fashionista fashions. It is currently the largest fashion company in the world and employs about eighty thousand people in this country alone," I said.

He looked at me closer, as though trying to find a lie in what I said. Erin and Judy both went to his computer and pulled up the figures on Fashionista. On the front page it gave a summary of the company listing my father as the founder and me as the current CEO, along with a little back ground on both of us. As he scanned through the opening page and started going through other pages he started to understand a little better about the size of the company I ran.

"Miss Carlson tell me just what it is you want from me," he said.

"Mr President I don't want anything you can give. I am changing my nationality to France I just wanted you to understand that this is happening because of the lack of civility I have received here in the country of my birth. You already know I can do things few can, what you don't understand is those things I can do are a birth right. I was chosen before this world was for this time in history. It seems strange even now thinking of that time in the master plan of life," I said.

"Sir as I told you I have the authority of God to judge men in this life. I don't judge because I too am a sinner, as a sinner I feel it would be wrong for me to judge someone else for their sins. You have tried to stand for equality, while at the same time denying others their rights as human beings. What I am asking of you is to stand strong for equality for all without regard. No man is less a man then anyone else simply because they choose to life their lives by a different standard."

"These four friends are an example of the inequality in this country. I won't tell you which is which only that two of these friends are transsexual one is intersex, or hermaphrodite and the other is female from birth. They are all four still people worthy of being treated as people and all four of them care deeply about each other and me. They are who they choose to be and that isn't wrong."

"So tell me Mr president should they have less right to live then someone else simply because of how they define themselves?" I asked.

He looked from me to my friends. Each of my friends introducing themselves as he turned his gaze to them. At that time none of them had gone beyond hormone treatment in becoming who they wished to be.

"Miss Carlson," he said turning back to me. "I'm not sure what I can do, but I think I am beginning to understand the plight your friends and those like them suffer. Ladies I..." he stopped and turned to Erin, Paula, Judy and Cindy again. "I don't know what I can do personally to change things. I never really thought about what kind of hardships someone would face simply trying to be them-self, if you can help me learn more about the areas where your freedoms have been rescinded simply for trying to be who you are I will do all I can to change things," he said.

"Mr President you have several LGBT rights groups working right here in Washington lobbying the congress to make the changes that will give them the rights they had before choosing to be who they see themselves as, rather than who the world says they should be," Paula said.

We went over what he could do to help ensure equality for all people. Near the end he asked why I wanted to leave America, what happened that I felt more at ease being French then American. How could I tell him I am French when I was born in the States and hadn't learned French until a short time ago? Would he understand that I was born in America because if I had been born in France those who would have wished me harm would have been able to find me before I was old enough to protect myself.

" _Mr._ _President,_ _I_ _am_ _French._ _I_ _have_ _always_ _been_ _French._ _Yes,_ _I_ _was_ _born_ _in_ _America,_ _but_ _I've_ _never_ _been_ _American._ _It_ _is_ _not_ _easy_ _for_ _me_ _to_ _tell_ _you_ _this,_ _I_ _love_ _America,_ _but_ _France_ _is_ _my_ _home._ _Do_ _you_ _understand_ _sir_?" I asked.

He looked at me with a blank stare. "Mr President please forgive Connie at times she doesn't realize she is talking French and doesn't understand why others don't understand her. What she said is she is French she has always been French. She may have been born in this country, but France has always been her home," Paula said. He nodded and I smiled. Had I known I spoke French, yes I had, but to say what I needed to I didn't see anyway of saying it in English and still have the impact I wanted.

On the way out the President ask that I not do what I had to get in. I smiled and opened the door, holding it for my friends. "Sir, it was a pleasure talking with you, I will try not to if I can," I said.

"Thank you mademoiselle," he said.

"When I returned to the United States it was to help get my new company president settled in her office. When we landed I was told I was under arrest, but was never taken to a jail run by the government. My company president was with your Department of Justice and knew some of those who were there to stop me. I hope you will check into this. The next time I come to America, I will be French not American. I am sure if this happened then, the French government might not be very happy to hear about it," I said.

"I will look into this matter mademoiselle. I am deeply sorry it happened this time, if there is anything I can do please ask," he said.

" _Thank_ _you_ _sir,_ _thank_ _you_ _very_ _much_ ," I said.

Leaving was much easier than getting in had been. Yes we were stopped and questioned about how we got past security. None of my friends offered an answer so I told them simply that I needed to talk to the President and so I did. As for how we got in, we walked in without challenge. I put on an air that I didn't know we weren't supposed to have been able to do that and said if they had a problem with us having done it they should look to their own measures of preventing such. How could I possibly tell them I had the ability to cross through the veil of time so they couldn't see me or my friends walk in unnoticed? They would have laughed and possibly tried putting us in jail as security risks. The security called the President and after a few more minutes let us go wishing us a good day.

I wanted to get back to Paris and knew I was cutting things very close for getting back in time for the show which according to the pilot would be about the time the show was scheduled to start. Once on the plane I called Marie and let her know I would be there, but would need the helicopter standing by once I was on the ground as I wouldn't have time to drive to the show and get there on time, even using the helicopter would be close and I really did want to be there for the entire show if possible.

Once in the air the routine of laying down again took me. This time however I never made it to the bed instead stretching out on the couch and asking the flight crew not to disturb me unless it was an emergency.

"Connie do you understand?" Michael asked.

I looked on the scene before me and shook. Again I was in the States, but this time pregnant, I had my French citizenship, but somehow had my US citizenship as well. Was America so hard up for citizens they would allow me duel citizenship? But why?

"No I don't understand what is the importance of this?" I was thinking of the duel citizenship, what came next shook me to the core.

"Who is the father of the child, Connie?" Michael asked.

The father of the child I carried? Richard was... no Richard would be the child's father, but the child had none of Richards blood in its veins. If Richard wasn't the father then who? I knew who Marie's father was, and no it wasn't Richard, how could it be Richard, when Richard was married to someone else. I looked closer and saw I wasn't married, in my heart I knew I had never been married, so why was I with child? Surely I wouldn't have been with a man before Richard, my whole life as a mother and wife was centered around Richard. The memory of the vision shown me during my captivity came crashing back, the vision of being raped repeatedly, not only being raped, but being made to beg the men to rape me. I wasn't married to Richard when that happened either and I was already pregnant.

"Michael I don't understand, how this can be?" I asked.

The vision changed again this time I was again asked if I understood. As I looked on I didn't know who the father of my daughter was, but I did know she was the result of rape. I shuddered with the knowledge that I might be raped before the vision of being raped and forced to beg for the rape. The thought of not choosing the father of my daughter hit with a force that was crippling. The tears started flowing and nothing I did could stop them.

"Lord forgive me. Forgive my weakness. Give me strength Lord to do your will. Please Lord let not the daughter of my womb be conceived in hate and violence," I prayed

As I finished the prayer the flight attendant touched my shoulder letting me know we were about an hour out of Paris.

"Thank you! Let the captain know that I will not leave Paris for six months or more, if he wants to return to America I would ask he find someone to take his place as my pilot, someone who does not mind living in France," I said.

"Yes, Miss. Miss, it is the understanding of the crew we live in Paris now. Therefore, we all want to live in France," the flight attendant said.

So Antoinette had done her job in getting my flight crew together. She knew my desire was to live in France and so had gone through the flight crews and found a full crew of people willing to move to France.

We managed to make up a little time on the way across the Atlantic and if we were not delayed in landing I would have time using the helicopter that I could talk with the models before the show. As we approached the airport we received clearance to land with no wait. The helicopter was waiting for me when we got to the hanger, the crew said they would take care of getting my things taken home so I didn't have to delay waiting for my bags. Within an hour of the flight attendant letting me know we were almost to Paris I was at the offices on my way down to the auditorium the show was scheduled for.

"Mademoiselle will not be happy to see this nightmare you call your best," Monique said.

"Mademoiselle isn't even here. Monique there is nothing wrong with the idea I gave you," Erica said.

I walked around the corner and started laughing. "Monique if she wishes to make a clown of herself find someone else to take her place." I turned to the model Monique had been talking to. "Mademoiselle does seem to be here Erica. While this looks funny it won't cut it on my runway. Either follow Monique's instructions, or you will be sent back home to New York. I approved the show as Monique has it planned, and with the show in fifteen minutes we don't have time for changes. Taking you out of the line-up however is an option," I said.

Erica turned and ran into the dressing room.

"Mademoiselle I try to tell her she cannot change how the show will be, she would not listen," Monique said.

"Don't worry about it Monique the show will be as we said, have the back up model for her outfit ready, she will either do it our way, or she will be looking for a job else where when she gets back to New York, either way this is the last show of mine she will have a chance of working, she goes back to New York tomorrow."

I entered the dressing room with Monique and everything stopped. I looked around and all but Erica was there.

"Ladies and gentlemen tonight is a big night for many of you who weren't in the show last week, it will be your debut as international models. Rebecca you will be taking over for Erica, she will be going back to New York in the morning, this was her last chance modeling for me. I want to make it clear with everyone Monique is the choreographer for my shows here in Paris, you want to be a model for my designs you will listen to her and follow her instructions. In America Michelle will be the choreographer for my shows, shows I may or may not attend."

"For those who do not know I will not be returning to America with the rest of you when the shows here are done. I want to thank all of you now for all the hard work you have put in and will continue to put in on these shows," I said.

I turned and walked out to let everyone finish getting ready. I found Marie and asked to talk with her in private, I needed to know what she had found out about my request for French citizenship.

"Connie the papers are all waiting for you to sign them, the Premier is interested in this and has said to approve it when the paperwork is turned in. Sweetheart you can be French by tomorrow night if you so wish," Marie said.

I could have French citizenship by the next night simply by signing all the papers and getting them back to the French government so they have time to process the papers. Was I ready to be French so soon? So soon, this wasn't soon this was what should have been by birth. I am already French in my heart. This paperwork is simply a formality to let the world know that even though I wasn't born in France I am still French. We covered a few other things that had to be taken care of, then it was time for the show.

The house lights went down and the speakers crackled to life.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Fashionista Fashions is proud to offer you a walk through the streets of Paris. Our hostess tonight Miss Connie Carlson."

I stepped out on stage and curtsied several times waiting for the applause to die down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here tonight.

Tonight we will show the fashion at a party with people you love, those who love and respect you in return. My hope is to have tonight bring back the days of courtship, when we develop the ties that bind two people in a lifetime connection of mutual trust and compassion. Please enjoy the show!"

I started back to my seat and noticed Erica standing just off stage as though to come out on the runway, so changed course.

"You made your choice Erica. This might not have been important to you, but it is to the rest of the models and to me as well," I said.

"You replaced me in the show tonight?" she asked.

"Yes I did. Erica you will be returning home tomorrow, I can't use you here," I said.

"I... Yes Miss Carlson," she said.

There were tears in her eyes, I knew she hadn't meant to create a problem, the thing was she had created a problem, a problem that had no place in this kind of work. Had she stayed in the dressing room when I went to talk to the models she would have been one of them on the runway tonight, she hadn't so now she wouldn't be on the runways of Europe or anywhere for me. She was one of the best, but I couldn't trust her, and if I couldn't trust her I couldn't use her.

"Erica I'm sorry, but you brought this on yourself. Had you been in the dressing room when I stopped in there just before the show started you would have your place out there tonight," I said.

"You still would have sent me home tomorrow though, wouldn't you?" she asked.

"Yes I would have. Erica..." She turned and ran out of the building.

I returned to my seat with Marie to watch the show. As the model who replaced Erica came out on the runway I looked to the door and saw Erica standing there. I thought of going over to finish trying to explain why I was sending her home, but she saw me looking at her and turned away. I needed to let her know I did like some of her ideas for shows and was sending her home not because I didn't value her as a model, but I thought it might be a way of letting her start choreographing shows for other designers. I slipped through the veil and went over to her bringing her through the veil so we could talk.

"Will you please let me finish what I was going to say Erica?" I asked.

"What happened? Why isn't anyone moving, or anything?" she asked.

"Erica we are outside of time right now, no one is moving because time for them has stopped, or at least to us it appears to have stopped." I said.

"You did this, didn't you?" She accused.

"Yes Erica I did. Will you let me finish what I was about to say when you ran away?" I asked.

"Why? You hate my ideas and think I am nothing but a screw-up. I don't even understand why you brought me here if all you're going to do is send me home without letting me walk the runway at least once," she said

"Yes, I am sending you home without letting you walk the runway even once, but that was your doing as much as mine. I'm not sending you home because I think you're a screw-up. Even if I hadn't heard the argument with Monique I would still be sending you home tomorrow," I said.

"Why? What did I do to deserve to be punished like this?" she asked.

"I'm not doing it to punish you Erica, in fact I'm doing it to promote you," I said.

"Promote me? Promote me to what, some flunky who can't do anything right. I can see it now. Look there goes Erica the want-a-be model who screwed-up when she got her chance at being an international model with the best selling line in the industry," she said.

"I am sure some might say that, just as long as they don't have to work for you. Erica Monique, Michelle and I talked just before I left to go back to New York. I need both of them here and they both seemed to think you could fill in for them with the shows we have back home. While I was there I saw the need with some of the other designers lines. Over half the designers with Fashionista have signed onto Monique and Michelle's agency. Since they are both here they need someone they feel is qualified to choreograph setting up those shows. The three of us agreed you should be that person," I said.

"Then why did you make it sound like I did something wrong? I heard what you told the others," she said.

"Erica everyone in that room knows about the arguments you have with Monique, Michelle, and me. I wanted tonight's show done perfectly and I said what I hoped would accomplish that. I made a mistake in how I presented things perhaps. I wish I could have taken back the way I said things, but I don't regret having said them. No one knew where you were the show was ready to start. Because you weren't anywhere we could find you I made the decision to use your back-up," I said.

I brought us back into the present asking Erica to join me for the remainder of the show.

"Dear who is your friend?" Marie asked.

I introduced Erica to Marie telling Erica Marie was my mother. "Mom this is Erica one of our choreographers. She has been here studying how we do the shows. She is returning to New York in the morning and will be working on getting a couple shows ready for some of our other designers," I said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Erica. Connie seems to have much faith in you to give such high honors. I am sure her faith is well grounded," Marie said.

"Thank you ma'am I will do my best not to let her down," Erica said.

When the show ended I again returned to the stage thanking everyone for being there. I invited Erica to join me on stage and introduced her as our newest choreographer letting everyone know while she wouldn't be working on my shows as a choreographer she would likely be choreographing shows through-out Europe in the near future. I then started introducing the choreographers for the show they had just seen and each of the models. I closed and again took my seat as the auction started.

"Erica it is important that you watch all that goes on at the shows. Your responsibility doesn't end with the show it carries over into this part as well. Everything the models do while on that runway is part of your job as a choreographer," I said.

"Yes ma'am I know it's a lot of work but I'm sure I'm able to handle it," she said.

"I'm sure you are. I just want you to be aware of just how hard the job is. Monique, Michelle, and I went over and over what we wanted this show to be. Then I get back from New York and hear you arguing with Monique about wanting to do something other than what has been rehearsed. The work for the choreographer is in getting everyone to do what they are supposed to. Monique is doing more because she is modeling also, Michelle is also modeling so they are having to work together on the same page so they both can get everyone else ready and get ready themselves," I said.

"I never realized what they were doing. I mean they're both the best models and they work hard making sure everyone is ready. I thought the modeling part was something they did naturally," Erica said.

"The modeling is natural for them, but it still takes a lot of work. You need to get some rest the flight tomorrow leaves early and there isn't another one until tomorrow night. Erica I want you to start working with Brenda on Pete's upcoming show. If you get the flight in the morning it will give you a night to rest up before meeting with Brenda and she is already aware you're on your way," I said.

Marie arranged for a car to pick Erica up in the morning and promised to let Antoinette know in the morning to expect her.

The show again set records for prices paid for the original outfits, something I was beginning to think was standard since it seemed all my shows with the exception of Atlanta had set, or tied records. Many of the people at the show wanted to know when the fashions they saw would be available to the public and how they could go about ordering them right away.

The next morning I didn't go to the office opting instead to start looking for a place to live. I started by looking in the newspapers the same as I would have done back in the States and found everything in them was condos or small apartments that didn't fit what I was looking for. I started calling the real estate agencies and found one that said they had something very much like what I wanted. I talked to Marie and she said she knew of the property, but didn't really know anything about it.

I called the office and had them send a car over. I wanted to see this property and see if it might really be something I might be interested in. when the car got to the hotel I gave them the address and called the agency and let them know I was going out to look at the property and would appreciate if they could have someone meet me there so I could see the whole property.

Just before I got out of the hotel Marie walked in and said I had an appointment with the Prime Minister's office about changing my citizenship to French. My appointment was for the afternoon so I insisted on going and looking at the property first. I asked Marie to come with and let me know what she thought.

Once at the property we started looking around trying to figure out just how vast the property was. There were a few out buildings so I started with them finding one would be ideal for horses. It had a large pasture on one side where the horses could stretch. Beyond that was a large open range that would be able to accommodate several head of cattle, or sheep. The other out building was more a bunkhouse with several rooms that could easily be set up as bedrooms. A large kitchen area, and several restrooms.

From there we headed for the main house. Approaching the front door the real estate agent pulled up. She opened the door for us. We entered cautiously looking around to see what kind of damage there might be. The whole place appeared to be a little run down but in very good condition. I looked at what I thought it would take to make it livable enough I could move in if I bought it and decided it wouldn't take much other than getting a little furniture. I talked about the price with the Realtor and felt very good about everything about the property. The pasture by the horse barn was ten acres and the open pasture was close to one thousand acres. The bunk house could hold about a dozen men and could be built to handle more if the need arose.

"What do you think mother? Would you and Dad be willing to come out and live with me? I think I could convince Antoinette to live here when she is in town," I said.

"Dad and I are happy where we are. I think this place is very big, but very nice too. If it will make you happy, then get it, I know that Dad and I will visit often," Marie said.

I asked the Realtor to draw up the papers, I wanted the house and all the property attached. I thought back to growing up before moving to the city. The horses the cattle, that was home to me more than the city ever had been. The Realtor said she could have the papers for me by late that afternoon, and would be willing to bring them by my office. I declined that idea since I had the appointment that afternoon and didn't know how long it might take. I wanted the sale to go as quickly as possible, but wanted to be sure everything was done properly also, so let her know I would see her in her office the following day. I intended to pay cash for this house and figured that would speed the process up a little. Marie and I needed to leave for my afternoon appointment.

At my appointment for gaining citizenship I was asked questions about my heritage, where either of my parents born in France? How long had I lived in France? Did I understand French well enough to get along in the French society? Why did I want to become French? Was I employed in France? Did I own any property in France? Question after question all in French, all geared to disqualify someone who was trying to run from something elsewhere in the world. When they were done asking their questions, they asked if I had anything I wanted to ask. Of course I said yes.

"Yes, I have some questions. Do you know the stories of The Sister of Life? Do you know the stories of The Daughter of Life? Can a single person be both? The person who has the mark of the two must be French, right? If this is the case, I'm already French as I was born with both marks," I said.

I concentrated on my birthmarks and making them both visible. I needn't have worried though as the person doing my interview bore the mark of a Sister of Life and therefore was able to see both birthmarks without me doing anything.

She started looking at my left arm when I started asking the questions and saw how both birthmarks darkened as I thought about each question. She seemed to be remembering a vision she had seen, one that was fresh.

"Forgive me mademoiselle I did not know who you are when we started. I do not understand how it is you were not born in France, for only the French have ever born the marks of Life according to the stories. And for the one who has both marks it is said she would be French by birth, no?" she asked.

"I am French by birth. My mothers parents both immigrated to America after my mother was born. My fathers family migrated a few generations before, but stayed true to French ancestry. You see I was born an American, but my heritage is French," I said.

"French is your first language then?" she asked.

"I only wish it were, but sadly English is my first language. For many years I dreamed of one day living in France, but never gave hope to the dream, as my family did not have a lot of money when I was young. I only recently learned French," I said.
  13. ##  Chapter 11

The third show was coming up fast and I was spending little or no time in the office. The property was now mine and ended up needing more repair than I thought possible from looking at it, still in the hotel and spending several hours at the house trying to come up with some way of making it so I could live there. The day of the show the furniture was delivered for the bedroom and living room, once the kitchen was done I would have a home to go to other than a hotel room.

I avoided watching the rehearsals for the show, until both Michelle and Monique came to me saying they had a problem they weren't sure how to handle. They insisted I watch as the children rehearsed. I sat down and started watching. The older kids came out doing their turns according to the instructions. Everything seemed to be going fine until two kids came out and started doing their turns, bows and curtsies. I started laughing and kidding both Michelle and Monique, I don't see what the problem is you two should know how to solve this if anyone does. I called the two kids over and introduced myself to them.

"Hello I am Connie, you are both very good at that. Priscilla can you show me in this book which costume you like?" I turned to the other child after Priscilla pointed out the outfit that she would wear on the runway. "Michel which of these costumes do you like best?" Michel pointed out just the outfit I knew he would. "Ladies the outfits they each pointed out are in the lineup for the show, see they get them won't you? Now is there anything else, or have we settled everything?" I asked.

"Mademoiselle the children's mothers expressly forbade letting them do what you just did," Monique started to complain.

I looked at her and started laughing. "Yes, Monique I do understand. Tell me if you will, did your mother tell them you had to be a boy when you started modeling? How well did that go over? I don't care what the mothers say, or don't say they are not doing this show. These two children are the best you have, and I fully intend to have them modeling for me for a very long time, but they will do it as themselves, not who someone else says they should be. Is that clear?" I asked.

Two women stood up from behind me and started toward the kids. Both of my stars looked at the women then at me with fear in their eyes.

"Excuse me ladies! Are these children yours?" I asked.

The women both turned to me. "Yes mademoiselle, they are our children," one of them said.

"I would like to have them in my show, I have never seen two models as good as they are, at their ages," I said.

"Miss, if they must be something they are not, they will not be models for you!" one of the woman said.

"Madame, I never ask someone to be something they are not. It was not me who thinks of herself here. These children know who they are, and with, or without your permission will be who they are. If you like listen to them, accept them. If you do not learn to allow them to express who they are you will one day lose their love," I said.

My birthmarks started showing prominently, I wasn't aware of even thinking about them, but both were now plainly visible as evidenced by both mothers staring openly at my arm and turning white as ghosts.

"Daughter of Life!" One of the women exclaimed.

"Sister of Life!" The other cried. "Forgive us we did not know Mistress. If you say that my daughter is my son, he is my son and my nephew is my niece, your order it should be," the other said.

"Did I say who these children are? Did they not tell me instead? Is it wrong for me to accept them? No they are children of God. Who they are is between them and God," I said.

The two women started treating their children as the boy and girl the children said they were and saw a vast improvement in how the children developed, not only in modeling, but also in every other aspect of their lives. Monique and Michelle looked at the women and smiled. They knew what I would do about accepting the children for who the children said they were, but weren't sure I would be able to convince the mothers to go along.

The following day both kids showed up dressed as they preferred Michel was dressed as a boy while Priscilla was wearing a very cute top and skirt. Their mothers were again at the rehearsal, only this time they were both smiling and laughing, telling everyone how wonderful the children were now that they could finally be themselves, not only in the show, but in every aspect of their lives. I watched as the children rehearsed then went onto tend to other things pertaining to running a company the size of Fashionista.

The show was the next day and I hadn't done much about making sure everything was ready. I had always taken a personal hand in my shows, from following the rehearsals to checking each outfit to insure it was perfect. For some reason I hadn't felt the need this time, could it have been because of how little time I spent with the previous show? No! I had spent a great deal of time helping with it. So what was so different this time? The only rehearsals I had never payed much attention to with any of my shows, had been the dress rehearsal, and this time it was the only rehearsal I wanted to see other than watching the children rehearsing.

I started checking what it would take to go home for a visit. I wasn't interested in going and dealing with business though I knew I would tend to some business while there.

"Marie, would grandmother like going to America to see her family?" I asked.

"Yes, I think she would love to. I will look at what to do and see if maybe we can get there soon," she said.

Soon how long would it take to get her a passport that would allow her to enter the States and return again to France if she chose? Getting into the States wouldn't be the problem. The real problem would be in getting back out, Grandma was still an American, but her passport had expired years ago, when she chose to remain in France with her husband and children. It had been almost fifty years since the last time she had been home to see any of her family, and now her brother was gone, and her sister was in a nursing home, unable to take care of herself.

I knew Grandma's sisters family, the love of my life was her grand-nephew. I wanted to talk to Richard so badly, but after the last time we talked I didn't dare hope for anything where he was concerned. His wife! The sound of that still tore me apart inside. All my life I knew who I would be married to, then he introduces me to this woman saying she is his fiancée It wasn't bad enough he married someone else, this woman was an enemy to his mother and me. I still didn't fully understand why, she had the birthmark, on the right arm rather than the left, but she had it and could see both of mine without me doing anything to make the one nobody could see visible. That was the biggest betrayal to me, not that he married someone else, but that he had married someone who was my enemy by birth.

The Sisters of Death? What did it mean? Marie and I were both Sisters of Life, so I had a good idea what that meant, but the Sisters of Death were our sworn enemy. They had all the abilities of the Sisters of Life, but chose to use those abilities to bring condemnation on man, not lift man out of the depths of his depravity. Each of the Sisters of Death were born into Life, but somehow turned. With me my birthmark had only ever touched my left arm, where with those who only bore the one mark wore the mark on both arms until the decision was made for either Life, or Death, then the mark would fade from the right arm for those who chose Life, or from the left arm for those who chose Death. At one time the Sisters of Life and the Sisters of Death had been of a single sisterhood. Something no one remembered changed that, made them mortal enemies. I needed to know what happened, what caused the rift, perhaps it would be possible to mend the hurt if I had an idea what caused it in the first place.

I sat in my office thinking about how much had changed since the carefree times of being a child. How much I had grown over the time since high school. I didn't know anything about being a Sister of Life let alone a Daughter of Life. Yes, I was both from birth, but I had never even heard the stories. I found it strange Richards mom and I were the only ones who could see both of my birthmarks, but most people don't notice things like that about others anyway, unless the birthmark is disfiguring in some way. My birthmarks aren't disfiguring they are almost so small they are invisible, and for most people who do notice they look more like a tattoo then a birthmark. The mark of being a Sister of Life looks much like a dove with an olive branch the wings out stretched in flight. The mark of the Daughter of Life a woman kneeling in prayer right above the dove.

Everything shifted. I was sitting in Richards parents living room with Marie, (and her husband) Philip. Grandma Annette, and Antoinette.

*********

"Roger I hope to set up a ranch on my place in France," I said.

"What kind of ranch Connie? If you're talking cattle I would advise against it. From what I've heard cattle over there aren't like over here," Roger said

"Their not, but they look mostly the same. Roger they work cattle differently also, and I know if I did it the same way they do it would it end up costing me more than I could ever hope of recovering. However, if I did it the way you do here I think maybe I could set a trend that could make it well worth the effort and cost," I said.

"Do you have any idea how we work cattle Connie? Last I remember you haven't taken an active roll since you were about five years old. Things have changed a lot since then," he said.

"Excuse me sir, how in America do you work with the cows?" Philip asked.

Roger laughed and said the best way to explain was to show. Philip got a big grin and wanted to go see right away. In the time I had known him I had never seen him so excited. The scene skipped and I was watching Philip wrangling calves for branding. Few ranches branded any longer, but Roger was one that still did. He ear tagged as well but didn't trust the ear tags while branding was very hard to cover over.

Richard came over and sat on the rail next to me.

"He looks glad for this chance," Richard said.

"He is happy for the opportunity. At home, they say he is not big enough to work with cows," I said.

"I heard you moved to France," he said.

" _What_ _do_ _you_ _want_ _from_ _me_ _Richard?_ _All_ _I_ _had_ _was_ _yours,_ _but_ _you_ _have_ _chosen_ _another,_ _who_ _is_ _an_ _enemy_ _of_ _both_ _me_ _and_ _your_ _mother_ ," I said.

I didn't understand. This man was the father of my children, why would I be talking to him like this?

"I do not know French as well as you, but if you do not want to talk to me in English then I will talk in French. _I_ _made_ _a_ _mistake_ _by_ _marrying_ _someone_ _I_ _did_ _not_ _love._ _Connie,_ _I..._ _I_ _don't_ _want_ _something_ _from_ _you._ _I_ _wish_ _you_ _all_ _the_ _best_ _life_ _has_ _to_ _offer_ ," he said.

"How dare you Richard? How dare you insult me the way you did? You knew the stories of who I am. You knew those stories were about me too. You knew that nothing in this world would be able to hurt me aside from you. Nothing could have hurt me more than what you did. Now how about leaving me alone, it is what you're best at other than hurting me," I said.

He started to leave and stopped and turned back to face me.

"I have just one question, then I'll leave. Who is the father of the baby?" he asked.

I looked at him and started to fall. I was pregnant, I knew I was, but refused to admit it to anyone especially myself.

*********

I returned to the present and felt sweat running down my face. Who is the father Connie? I didn't know. I hadn't been able to tell him because I didn't know. This was the third vision that showed me being pregnant before Richard and I would get married. What was it in the other vision that bothered me so much? I didn't know who the babies father was, that was it I didn't know who the babies father was then either. There had to be some way of... no I didn't know for a reason which meant the baby was conceived either in hate or in friendship, but not out of love. The choice would be mine, but the baby would be born before Richard and I ever married, that I was sure of.

I went and watched the children work toward the show. Some of their mothers were there with younger brothers and sisters. Rather than watching the rehearsals I watched the younger children play even joining a little in their play. One child caught my eye as I watched. She was American unlike the others and she was excluded to a great extent. What caught my eye though was the birthmark she had on her left arm. As I approached she looked up at me and smiled. Her mother came and picked her up telling me to leave her son alone, using broken French and English.

"I understand English ma'am," I said.

"You're American?" she asked.

"I was born in America but no ma'am I'm French, or at least I'm in the process of becoming a French citizen," I said.

"Why would you want to give up your American citizenship?" she asked.

"Why did America stop caring about her citizens? Your ancestry is French is it not?" I asked.

"Yes I believe so, why? What is it about my son that you're interested in him?" she asked.

I asked to see the child's left arm. She held the child so I could see the arm.

"This cannot be." I said. It didn't make sense to me that this child would be male and have that birthmark, to the best of my knowledge only women could have that particular birthmark, so either I was seeing something that couldn't be, or this child was a female, that wasn't a female. I thought of my friends from school and how they were all women, though for most of their lives they were thought to be boys and men. No, I hadn't seen wrong this child was indeed female only hidden as I had been. Because of me the Sisters of Death would know to look not just in France for a Daughter of Life. I stretched my protection to this child knowing that my ability to protect her would be minimal at best.

"Ma'am have you ever seen a mark like this?" I pulled my left sleeve up a little and thought of my birthmarks.

The woman drew back seeing my birthmarks, as though she feared them.

"I know what they are. I have never seen them, but yes I know of the Daughter of Life. Why do you ask?" she asked.

"This child bares the mark of the Daughter of Life. This child is not a boy, but is instead a girl in disguise for her protection," I said.

"I believe you have lost your mind Miss. This child is a boy and has no birthmark," she said.

Could I show her the girls birthmark? I didn't know, but I knew this child would be the next Daughter of Life, the Daughter of Life to teach my daughter how to be who she would be. I had to try, if I couldn't convince this woman her daughter was who I knew she was...

"Ma'am take my hand please. I promise you will not be harmed in any way," I said.

She set the child down and took my hand. I stepped through the veil and started moving forward through time. By concentrating on the child I was able to follow a single life through the future showing her events as they would happen. Each time we stopped it would be on a significant event in the life of my successor. The first stop was the day she told her mother she was sure she was a girl. She was sure because she loved doing things girls did. The woman looked at her and shook her head.

"I know you're a girl honey, I've known since you were six years old," the mother said.

"How did you know mom?" Diana asked.

"You have a birthmark on your left arm don't you? I've never seen it and as far as I know few others have either, but I know it's there and what it looks like. I know because I met someone not long ago who has one just like it, and they showed me. Honey that birthmark can only be on the Daughter of Life, listen to what I said, it is a mark of who you are dear, it is the mark of the Daughter of Life. Do you remember the stories I've told you about the Daughters of Life?" the mother asked.

The scene changed the girl was dressed like a boy still, but was in her late teens. "Gill what is wrong with you? I don't want to hear anymore of this nonsense about you being a girl. Your mother may have bought into it, but she was full of superstitious nonsense. Look at your brother, you're bigger then he is, but never apply yourself to anything, but that sissy shit. I'm not going to put up with it any longer, either straighten up, or get out, I don't need some sissy boy living here eating up my food," a man said.

The lady turned to me. "I don't understand. They were talking about me in the past tense. What happened that I'm not there?" she asked.

"Irene I don't know what happened, I have never seen this before. I know only that this is what could be not what must be. The future is fluid where the past is set. I cannot change what has been nor can I see all things that could be as if they are. I see possibilities of what might be, certain events in the future are set no one can change them so they will not happen, but how they happen can be influenced by the decisions we make in the present. I am going to ask something of you, something very important. Irene I need you to believe in your daughter, I need you to tell her all the stories about the Daughters of Life. I need you to let her know how you know she is a girl. Can you believe? Can you help your daughter understand who she is and what she is?" I asked.

"You will want to teach her, her Powers?" Irene asked.

"I would love to be able to do that, but no I won't be able to, I will be gone from this life before she is ready to learn her Power, and the Power I have is greater than the Power she will have. When she learns her Power it will be my sister who will help her just as she is helping me learn mine. Like your daughter I didn't have a Daughter of Life to teach me, I came into my Power before I ever came to France," I said.

We stepped back into the realm of time and she looked at me again. "How much time has past here everything seems the same as when we left?" she asked.

"Time here is as it was when we crossed through the veil, in this realm not a moment has past since we left," I said.

I watched as the child played with the other children always gravitating toward the things that had been deemed by society to be feminine. "Mom I'm a girl inside!"

Diana, Diana, how I long to teach you the Power of your gift. How strong you must be to survive to teach my Marie her gift. I am here for you as I can be small one, it is necessary that you learn to deny yourself for now that when the time comes you will have the strength to do that which is yours to do. How small you seem for now. How I wish you could have known your genetic father, a man among men, but alas it is not meant to be. In this world you are a stranger from a strange land, a land where judgment is given by the intent of the heart not the appearance of wrong. Stay true to your heart always Diana, it will not lead you astray, it will guide you into the Power of righteousness.

I felt lost. Why did Richard marrying someone else bother me so much? What about it felt so wrong. Yes he had married someone who was my enemy because of who I was and the choices she made, but he was free I had no claim on him. I headed to my office and asked Marie to not disturb me unless Antoinette, or Ellen needed me for something.

The door shut and my office disappeared.

********

"Marie be reasonable, the world is safe and your Lord is dead and gone."

"No, you do not understand the life I have been chosen for, I cannot stay here in the land of Judah. My Lord is not dead, but gone back to the father, he has called me to serve him in this life, but not in this place."

"So where will you go Marie? Where will you serve this dead master of yours?"

"I do not know, only that he will lead me to where I should be, where he wishes me to do his will."

The woman I knew, I had seen her in the before time, as I stood there the only one to stand forward at the call of the Lord. As the Lord looked around at all who were gathered she too stepped forward resting her hand on my shoulder. She had said something to me at that time, something that had calmed my fears, what was it she had said.

"Do not fear child the Lord has called and you have answered, in that he will bless you greatly, and his task will not be so heavy you cannot bare the weight of it."

No, that wasn't it she hadn't called me child what was it she had called me? Think Connie this could be of great import in understanding what the Lord has asked of you. "Daughter," she had called me daughter not child. In the before time I was her daughter, not some child she feared for, and wished to give comfort. Of course she was the mother of my soul, the one who gave me nurture in the before time.

The scene changed and we were now in France, just outside of Paris, in a small cottage.

"Marie they are coming please they call you a witch and will put you to death if they find you here."

"Andrew you fear them, but it is God who will determine the days of man not man, so put away your fear they shall not harm me this day, or any day hence, shall man harm the Chosen of God. If my time is come to see the face of the Lord then I go gladly, and the daughter of my womb shall take my place in this world."

"Marie please!"

The door opened and Marie's sister came in leading two men with swords drawn.

"This is her, the daughter of my mother you seek."

"You would betray me sister? Was it not also for our Lord? Was it not one who supped with him who betrayed him for thirty pieces of silver? So too I am now betrayed by one who I love. For what price have you betrayed me sister?"

"Touch me not least you know the truth of your sins, for at the moment you touch me you shall face the judgment throne of God," she said as the men reached out to take her.

I saw the mark of Life on the sisters arm, just as I had seen the mark of Life on Marie's arm. Marie had the praying woman on her left arm just as I do, her sister had the dove on her left arm when she entered the room, but as she went out the mark was on her right arm, with hate glowing in both eyes.

Andrew stepped forward, but said nothing as the first of the men touched Marie she drew on her Power as the Daughter of Life and was swept away not seeing, but the sins of the man who had touched her. As her Power took her, her husband walked out the door with her sister leaning over and giving a kiss of knowledge, a kiss that only those who share love give to one another. Marie felt the betrayal of her love and called out for him to repent and give her the love to return from the grasp of the Power. At her cry he turned and did not show mercy, but instead turned again to the sister sealing the betrayal. As the Power started to consume Marie her oldest daughter who also bore the seal of the praying woman stepped toward her mother.

"Mother please I beg of you release the Power and return to us. Let not that which is good be perverted into evil. I beg of you mother release the Power and live in Gods grace."

The Power of Life was out of her control. She wanted to surrender the Power, but could not. "Kill me daughter run an arrow through my heart and release me from this realm that I might have life." One of the men shot an arrow into her heart and the arrow caught flame and burned, but did not harm Marie.

As the Power took her farther and farther she started calling out the choices the men had if they would live. She turned to her youngest daughter who also bore the seal of the praying woman, and reached out to give the Kiss, and her daughter in return gave the Kiss back causing the Power to envelope both, in a bright light, they were gone and the ashes of their existence were scattered to the wind.

********

The vision ended and I sat in my chair weeping, the stories were right, but also wrong. Marie was betrayed by her sister thus creating the Sisters of Death, because the sister could not be satisfied with a man that was not hers, but her husband also betrayed her. Marie had fought the fight and her daughter out of love had done what only one holding the Power of Life could do. Marie had died because of the betrayal of two she had loved. True love though had saved her from damnation. Yes the Power would have killed her, but not before she would have lost her soul to the misuse of the Power.

I had my answer, I now knew what happened and why what I had to do would be so difficult. If my sister betrayed me as Marie's sister had done her I would be lost forever, I didn't have anyone to save me as Marie had. I started crying at the thought of what could have been, and what could be. I needed to talk to Antoinette, I needed to know the bond between us was as solid as it had been in the before time.

"Mom I need to talk to Antoinette, have you the telephone number?" I asked.

"Yes I do, give me a moment and I'll have her on the phone for you," Marie said.

A few minutes later I was talking to Antoinette making sure everything was working out. After a few minutes of small talk over business matters I told her my real concerns about our relationship. She assured me there was nothing to worry about she would take care of me in the times I needed her to. We talked for well over an hour about anything and everything, she knew whatever it was I would do I would need her when the time came and she would not let me down.

"Connie there is a link between us, I do not understand, but I love you like my own life. There are many things you know I do not, tell me what you can and that is enough," Antoinette said.

Talking about my concern without explaining the before time was hard beyond belief. I don't know if it would have mattered that I tell Antoinette or not, but there was no reason she should have to live with the knowledge of what she agreed to before the world was. In truth I don't think it would have mattered if she knew, when the time came, I knew she would do what was right. In my sister I had my help in setting aside the Power of Life. The bond we shared was a bond of love that the world could never understand. It was no longer me I worried about, Antoinette would not betray me our bond would see to that, my worry now was if she would be able to do what she needed to when I was gone. Now I was her strength, a strength she needed, to gain the skills to run Fashionista so it maintained the status of leader in the fashion industry.

The show was that night the last chance for me to see the person who would follow me as Daughter of Life. So many things I still needed to accomplish and so little time left. How I wish I had known who I am sooner. To have had a chance to prepare better, to learn what the abilities I have are, all those years gone and now I have to figure out how without anyone to help. Could anyone have helped, had there been anyone to help? Yes I am the Daughter of Life, but I am a Daughter of Life unlike any before me, or any who will come after. The vision had shown me that much, I am the one who would change the world in a way that hadn't happened in two thousand years. So much like the Lord in the eyes of those who knew, yet in comparison nothing like Him, the Power he had, he held in check of his own accord, for me it was a daily struggle. The Power was there always I could feel it on the fringes of my consciousness. For the Daughters before me it was there, but never to the degree it was with me, for them it was the Power of the Kiss of Life they had to keep in check. For me it was more, it was the Power involved in the Kiss of Life, but it was also the Power of the Sisters of Life, along with a Power no one knew of, the Power to remove both the Sisters of Life and the Sister of Death, without harming anyone who had the Powers. To remove those Powers from the world without those having the Powers being aware either, before, or after.

The show! I forgot about the show, surely it must be about time. Looking at the clock I saw I still had enough time to get something to eat if I didn't have to wait for a table.

"Marie are you still here?" I asked.

Marie came in with a smile on her face and I knew what she planned. Dinner with great company, true French food, and no waiting for a table. Grandma ate about the same time every day and I really wanted to talk to her about what I needed to do.

"Honey, mother is waiting to dine with us. She wishes to know if it would be alright for her to attend the show tonight," Marie said.

"Yes mom, it will be nice to have her at the show tonight. I have things I feel I need to talk to her about and this will give us the chance," I said.

Annette the woman who left everything she knew to stay with the man she loved. What wouldn't I give to be able to be with Richard right now, to have him hold me in his arms. The feeling of safety and security that no amount of money could buy. I didn't want to love him any longer, but it would be easier to stop breathing. Every beat of my heart cried his name in my ears. Every tear that rolled down my cheek burned his memory deeper into my heart. I felt so betrayed, yet he had never betrayed me. He had married a good woman, or at least one he though of as good. Was it his fault he didn't understand the marks his mother and I wore? He likely hadn't even noticed that the birthmark on his wife's arm was the same as the one on mine and his mothers arms, only not on the same arm as ours.

No he hadn't betrayed me. The look on his face when he found out his new wife was our mortal enemy said as much. He thought only of me when he made his decision to marry someone else. He wasn't at that time aware of who I was, that he was the only one in this life who could harm me once I came into my gift. The woman he married knew though, she knew who he was because he had borne the mark of our betrothal when she met him. The mark of the praying woman on his left arm with the mark of the dove right under it. She hoped she might be in time to stop me only to find I had already accepted my gift and extended my protection to Richard and all of his family.

"Grandmother, I feel so alone right now. Richard means so much to me and I know I can not be with him for some time to come," I said.

"Connie I wish I knew the answer for you. I have come to know my grand-nephew through you, and I love him for the strength he has, but wonder at his wisdom," Annette said.

"Grandma he is a very good man, a bit misguided, but he will come to his senses," I said.

"I do not begin to understand how you can know this as you do. It is enough that it will be so," Annette said.

"Yes grandmother. Grandma I want to invite you to the show tonight, I really think you would enjoy it, and there is a child I would love for you to meet," I said.

She looked up at me when I mentioned Diana.

"This child she has a name?" Annette asked.

"Yes, her name is Diana Geneviève, or it will be when she can be herself. Grandmother, she will be the one who is the Daughter of Life after me," I said.

"So you will teach her what she needs to know as the Daughter of Life, no?" she asked.

"No grandmother. Not that I do not wish to teach her, but I will be passed from this life before I will ever meet her again. Antoinette will be the one to teach her just as she helps me to know what it means to be the Daughter of Life," I said.

"So she is to be the daughter of your heart as you are the daughter of my Marie's heart?" she asked.

"Yes and no. She will be the next Daughter of Life, between myself and my daughter Marie. I know what I am saying doesn't make much sense right now, but in time it will. Antoinette will be able to teach her because once I am gone Antoinette will come into her Powers as the Daughter of Love. So much I wish I could explain, but words aren't enough and I have been forbidden to show anyone the visions of what will be," I said. "Grandmother I would love for you to come to the show tonight. I have asked that a seat be saved for you to sit with mom and I."

Annette agreed to attend the show and refused to talk anymore about me being the Daughter of Life. She was interested in meeting Diana, and wasn't at all surprised when I told her Diana was believed to be a boy at present.

Diana and her mother were seated with the other families of the children in the show, grandma, Marie, and I sat two rows higher. It didn't take long and Diana was sitting with grandma and the two were so deep in conversation they missed everything else going on around them. I tried to follow their conversation and still watch the show, but found it impossible to do both so followed the show. Toward the end of the show Annette turned to me and thanked me for giving her the chance to meet Diana this way. She told me she had no doubt that Diana was indeed a girl, that everything about her declared her such.

Diana took my hand and said her mom wanted to talk to me once the show was over if it was okay. She then saw the two birthmarks on my arm and started drawing them.

"Diana do you know what these marks mean?" I asked.

She smiled at me and blushed. "You and her are the only ones who call me a girl," Diana said.

"You are a girl aren't you?" I asked.

She shook her head and started giggling.

The show proved to be the biggest show of my career as a designer, I did several shows after, but none of them matched that one show as far as I was concerned. The mistakes on the runway were... they were enormous and numerous. Before the show was over I wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and hide, I knew I was going to be the laughingstock of the industry, everyone knew I took a personal interest in the shows and made sure only the best models were ever on the runway wearing my designs.

As the last of the models left the runway I hesitated going out on the stage, how could these models have done this didn't they know I wanted perfection.

Before going out and ending the show I looked at all my models standing waiting for me to say, or do something. I scanned each of them hoping even one could give me a reason for what happened. My gaze landed on the youngest model and stopped, she looked up at me and curtsied.

"Thank you Miss for letting us have so much fun." She smiled and blushed.

"You are most welcome darling. I am very proud of you and the other children here this evening. Thank you!" I said.

My anger was gone the show had been everything it needed to be. Yes there were mistakes made according to the choreography, but it was the choreography that had been wrong not the models. I turned and walked out on stage to an applause that left me waiting five minutes before I could hope to say anything and be heard.

"Thank you, thank you all so much! Tonight was a very special night for me, tonight is the first time I have ever shown any of my designs for children. I want to thank the children for the wonderful work they have done. The children's wear on the runway tonight will not be available during the auction, because it is part of the package the children are to receive," I said.

I invited all the models back out on the stage with me for another bow, while they were there I gave each of them a hug and kiss for the hard work they all put into making this show happen. As I came to Diana's sister a vision popped into my head and was gone almost as fast. How I wished I could have changed what I saw, but I knew nothing I could do would have changed what I saw looking at little Shelly. It might not have been so bad if I knew what I saw was going to make things easier for Diana, but I knew instead Diana's life would be harder if nothing for it.

I looked at where I knew Diana and her mother were seated and looked down, it wouldn't do any good. Not here not now.

As I hugged Autumn the smallest and youngest of the models I picked her up and turned back to the audience. The applause went up again, as it started subsiding the models started walking back off the stage to get ready for the auction. I carried Autumn off the stage and stopped the first of the models from walking back out. I wanted to talk to them all before the auction started, I needed to let them know I noticed each mistake made, but intended to over look all of them, what these people had given was better than what would have been had everything gone as choreographed, to me the show was perfect, because it showed real life.

"Ladies and gentlemen before the auction I want to let you all know I am very proud to have you on my team. As I sat out there watching the show I noticed each of you making silly little mistakes. I was anything but happy about the way the show was going. Even when I came out as the show ended I had a hard time coming to grips with the disaster I saw the show to be. I was furious thinking each of you had forgotten you were professionals. Standing there waiting for the noise to go down enough to be heard I realized that it wasn't you who had made the mistake, the mistakes I thought I had seen were in fact not mistakes at all, but instead they depicted life, real life. Ladies and gentlemen thank you so much for tonight," I said.
  14. ##  Chapter 12

One more show, then a break. I had so many things to do and with the shows I was limited in doing them due to the rules I had set for my shows. I gave Ellen and Antoinette free rein about running the company accepting a meager salary for myself based on the sales of my fashions, with them actually running the company I didn't think it would be right for me to draw a salary as the CEO since I was CEO in name only. The business started expanding beyond fashion as they saw businesses that they felt would be worth investing in. At first they were calling me to get the approval for the investments, they tried getting me involved in the day to day of the business. A week after my last of four shows in Paris I flew back to New York to let them know I didn't intend to go against anything they did, as long as everything was public record, and no one got hurt in the transaction.

A month later grandma Annette's new passport was in and Marie started making plans for grandma to go home and see her family she hadn't seen in so long.

********

"Connie I don't understand. Why are you asking this of me?"

"Bruce You are French or at least of French descent aren't you?"

"What you're asking though makes no sense to me. If you want to hang around with the gang, hang around, but you don't have to compromise yourself this way to do so."

"Bruce are you interested or not?"

"You want to get pregnant don't you? Why me Connie? Is it because my family is French, is that the only reason?"

"It isn't the only reason, but it is one of the reason. Bruce my daughter needs to be French on both sides not just one. Yes Bruce, I want to get pregnant. I promise I will never ask for anything where the baby is concerned, if you want I won't even name you as the father. Bruce I would prefer not naming you the father since you won't be the man the baby will know as her father."

********

I woke after hearing myself say those words. I wasn't sure this time if it was a dream or a vision, if a vision it wasn't like any I had before. Always in the visions I could see and hear, but never had I felt what I did. This time it was as though I was living what was happening while it happened, not as an observer, but as though it were happening right then, I was actively involved.

Who is Bruce? I lay back again pulling the covers up and found myself again in the dream. I knew this man, I knew him from years ago, but I still had no idea how. He was maybe a year or two older than me... yes that was it I knew him from church. We had gone to the same church, and he flirted with me several time. Back when I first moved to the city he introduced me to the other kids at church. He was somehow related to the pastor... no not related he was a foster in the pastors home. Yes! That was it he was in the foster care program and the pastor was his foster father. He knew the birthmark, not right away, but he did know it meant something.

The little French I knew before coming into my Power I learned from him. I sat up again and started laughing. The first words he taught me had been je t'aime (I love you). He refused to tell me what it meant for months until I promised to say it to him every week when we met at church, refusing to tell me even then until I said it without prompting every week for four weeks. My mother heard me say it to him the third week and when we got back home she asked if I knew what it was I said to him. She laughed so hard when I told her he wouldn't tell me, then said je t'aime ma fille. I love you my daughter, she said was what it would be for her to tell me, and for me to say it to her would be je t'aime ma maman, or I love you my mother.

"Connie what you said to that boy at church was je t'aime mon Bruce, wasn't it?" I nodded and she told me it meant I love you my Bruce. I remember turning so red when she said that. I wanted to find a hole to crawl in, I had no clue what it had been, I said only that he had assured me it wasn't swear words. He said once I understood that phrase French would become much easier for me to learn. I heard French was the language of love, I knew the man I grew up thinking of as my father loved when mom would talk to him in French. I wish many times I'd paid more attention when mom talked in French, I remember how sweet her voice sounded and I really had wanted to learn, but after the deception Bruce pulled, I was afraid.

Would Bruce remember me now? If I refused to talk English would he be able to carry on a conversation with me? I knew I was going to find out, Bruce was the father of my daughter. The dream had been both dream and vision, I understood now. Bruce loved me back then, and chances were he still did though not in the same way anymore.

"Connie I just talked to mom about going to see her family in America. I know you are planning a business meeting in New York in a couple of weeks I was hoping mom could at least ride with to New York, it would save money and I am willing to pay for her to do so," Marie said.

"Mom, how can you think such? Of course grand-mama can ride with. And I think it would be best if we moved the meeting to my old home town, where grand-mama is from as well. I have friends there I must talk with, and some of the business I need to tend to requires that I go back to my childhood home," I said.

I went and talked with grand-mama every day for the next week making sure she understood what was going to happen with the flight. Going back to the States was exciting, but scary at the same time. The memory of what happened the last time was still fresh in my mind. I didn't cherish the thought of going back to New York, but I wanted did to meet with Antoinette and Ellen. Some of the changes they wanted to make I needed more information on then they were able to give on the phone, or through other means of communication available to us, that meant going to New York so they could answer the questions I had.

We scheduled the trip a month after my last show. Grand-mama was excited as was mom since she had never met that side of grand-mama's family. Marie called the flight crew for my plane and set everything up for the flight to the States, we would be stopping in New York for one or two days long enough to get some business out-of-the-way, then on to my old home town. I called Erin and the others to let them know we would be there and when. They asked how long we would be there and I told them I had no idea, but it would likely be for a month or more.

The day we left Paris I again had to lay down on the bed in the back of the airplane. As soon as I was on the bed the vision started again about Bruce and me, talking to him about wanting a baby.

********

"Connie this is absurd, of all the people you must know why me?"

" Why not you Bruce? I'm French You're French so why not you?"

"That isn't what you said back when. I understand your desire for the father of your baby to be French but I... I thought you lived in France now so why not someone from there, someone who doesn't know Richard?"

"Is that why you don't want to be with me, because of Richard? Bruce, if that's the reason, then think on this. Richard is married to someone else. I'm hoping he one day is willing to be the father of my children, but for now that isn't possible. Beside Richard isn't fully French so he can't give me the daughter I need, you can."

I looked up at him and there stood Antoinette looking at me.

"What is this sister? Are you so desperate for a child that you will be with a man not your husband?"

********

The world returned and I went up front to join the others.

"Mom can we talk?" I asked.

Marie gave me a look of concern, she knew the visions were something I had become use to as a regular part of my life, and it was becoming rare we ever discussed them any longer, as she had no references with which to deal with the visions I had.

Her visions were few from the time she started having them and while they were clear on some things trying to live with what I saw was something she couldn't begin to conceive doing. She knew I had seen what would happen the last time I come to New York, long before it happened, yet she watched as I got on the plane knowing what was going to happen once we got to the other end. She didn't understand why I would allow myself to have gone through it if I knew about it so much in advance. "Mom it isn't that I want this to happen, but nothing I do will stop it from happening, the best I could hope to do by not going now would be to delay it for who knows how long, I cannot do that." I told her. She looked at me and shook her head, she couldn't conceive the idea that I must suffer the things I would suffer not for me, but for her and others, so they could accept the gifts of God.

Marie and I talked the remainder of the way to New York. I shared the vision with her, not because of the part with Bruce, but because Antoinette had been there asking me why I was seeking to have a baby with a man I was not married to. In the vision it was as though I was betraying Antoinette in how she asked me the questions. I didn't understand why she would have felt betrayed, she knew I had to have a daughter of full French ancestry, we talked, often enough she surely knew Richard was not the birth father of my daughter. So how was my asking this man to be the father of my daughter a betrayal?

"Connie, Antoinette loves you so much, she knows you are Chosen of God to do many great things, this is something she cannot understand, that you would be with a man you do not love only so you can have a child. Even I do not understand this," Marie said.

"Mom it is not that I do not love this man, if it had not been for my betrothal to Richard maybe I could have loved this man enough to have accepted his offers of love. I could not accept then because my heart belonged to Richard. Mom, Richard is not available to me now, my heart still is his and one day I hope he will be willing to accept my heart, I cannot delay the will of God and this baby will be born on Gods time table and I would rather she be conceived in respect than in hate," I said.

Marie looked at me with a new understanding she knew I had seen the baby would be conceived soon either by my choosing the man or by me being raped, I didn't want to hate any part of my daughters life so I was choosing the only option that would insure my love for her life in all of its grandeur. I was choosing to conceive her with someone I respected, and who hopefully would respect me as well.

We landed in New York and took the helicopter to the offices where we met with Ellen and Antoinette. Ellen told her brother wanted to talk to me about merging his company with mine. I asked her to set up the meeting, but I wanted both her and Antoinette there as well so she needed to make sure it was at a time and place we could all attend easily. I figured if I was right about what he wanted it would be easier to stop him from asking if there were others around. Surely he wouldn't want to share the experience with Ellen and the others. I didn't know how much he knew of my Powers but I didn't feel letting him know it wouldn't have mattered who else was there, the Kiss would be something only he and I would witness would give him second thoughts of asking me to give the Kiss.

I knew I would have to face him about the Kiss before long, but I didn't feel now was the time, I wanted to put it off as long as possible. The meeting was set for lunch time at Ellen and Paul's mothers restaurant. Ellen said it had been Paul's idea to have it there. If she knew what he wanted to talk about she didn't give me a clue, but the way she acted the rest of the morning I had an idea she did know.

We arrived at the restaurant about ten minutes before the meeting and were seated at the family tables. Mrs Moreno asked to talk to me and had someone else show everyone to the table.

"Miss Connie it is so good to see you again. My Paul asked me to talk to you about the Kiss and when would be a good time for him to talk to you about it," she said.

"Mrs Moreno do you know what he wants to talk to me about in relation to the Kiss?" I asked.

"I know he wishes you to give him the Kiss. Miss Connie tell me, it is the Kiss of Life, no? So if he receives the Kiss he will still be here in this life?" she asked.

"Mrs Moreno I do not know if he could survive the Kiss of Life. The Kiss will take him before the judgment throne of God where he will have to make an accounting for his life thus far. He will receive two choices and if he makes the wrong choice this life will end as will eternity for him. I do not wish to give him the Kiss because of the kind of life I know he has lived. I love and respect Paul and I fear what could happen should he receive the Kiss. Ma'am if he asks I cannot refuse him the Kiss, I have begged him to not ask, I have begged the angels of God to seek God in this and the answer is that if he asks I am to grant his request," I said.

"So if he asks this of you, you are bound by the marks of who you are to grant him his request, and the life is his to live or die if he cannot love God enough. I fear for him Miss Connie, I fear for you as well, I know you do not wish to harm my son who respects you so much. He told me if he ever had the chance to meet the woman who bore the mark of bother the Daughter and the Sister of Life he would seek the Kiss, he said it would be the sign that he loved God and was chosen to serve. He loves you Sister of Life, his life is dedicated to the service of the Power of Life above all else, he will live," she said.

"Yes he will live the Kiss, but there is a time if he is patient, the Kiss will be able to save him, when he will need what the Kiss can do to survive in this life. I fear he cannot be patient for that time and I cannot tell him about the time only that the time will come and if he has had the Kiss before, there will be nothing I can do to keep him from the final judgment, I will not be able to be there to help him," I said.

She asked me a few more questions than showed me to the table.

"Hello Paul! You wanted to talk to me about something?" I asked as he took a seat.

"That's what I always love about you Connie, you always get right to the point no beating around the bush. I have a business deal for you," he said.

"A business deal? You could have talked to Ellen or Antoinette and saved me the trouble of having to come to New York," I said.

"So it is true about you moving to Paris?"

"Yes it's true. Since I'm here now why don't you tell me what it is you have that might be of interest to me," I said.

"I'm thinking of getting out of the fashion industry. I'm sure there are other companies out there who would love to buy me out, but I seriously doubt any of them could come up with the capital to do so, you on the other hand more than likely have the capital sitting in the bank drawing interest."

I looked over at Ellen and started laughing. Yes I did have the free capital to make a purchase like this, but I didn't want to think about laying out that much money in an industry I already owned the leading company in.

"Okay so perhaps I have the capital why should I be interested, Fashionista is already the biggest in the industry, bigger in fact then our two closest competitors combined. So tell me to what advantage it would be for me to buy your fashion company," I said.

I don't think he realized just how aware I was of the size of my company or the size of our competition.

"Connie, I don't know there would be any advantage to you. I may have a few contacts you don't, but not likely, I do know both companies are very similar in may ways, and your company has more outlets than mine. Your company is more worldwide than mine. So in all likelihood the only advantage would be to me and not seeing my company totally dismantled," he said.

I looked from Ellen to Antoinette again. I wanted their opinions on this. I needed their thoughts about how it would benefit anyone for me to take over a company already in the same industry mine was in.

"Ellen, what do you think about this. I know Paul is your brother thus creating a conflict there as it could be construed he came to us simply so he wouldn't be competing with his only sister. And you Antoinette, what is your feeling on this? Is it something we should consider or would it be seen as us trying to become a monopoly were no one else would be able to compete?" I asked.

"You see Paul this is not something I can do on my own, yes I do hold controlling interest in Fashionista, but Fashionista is more than just me. When I asked Ellen to be my president I offered her shares in the company, Antoinette is my heir at present so she has a vested interest as well," I said.

They all looked at me. Antoinette's mouth dropped open as what I just said took root, she was my heir. If anything happened to me she would be in control of Fashionista, instead of her working for Ellen, Ellen would be working for her. Now it made sense why I wanted her working with Ellen, getting to know the company from a management prospective.

As they all watched me the vision came. Paul was standing there begging me to please give him the Kiss.

********

"Paul if I give you the Kiss now you will stand before the judgment throne, that is what the Kiss does. Please I beg you don't ask this of me, the Kiss is not something to have out of curiosity, it could kill you."

"Connie I know there is a risk, but I know that you will be there with me as well. I can't believe God would condemn me when I have accepted him so fully."

"If you accept him so fully please don't ask this of me. Rest in your knowledge of his grace and when the time is right I will give the Kiss and you will have life. Please I beg of you do not ask this of me now."

He looked at me and smiled I felt a rush as he looked down, sure he was going to withdraw the request. His eyes came back up and he asked again that he might know the joy of life that came with the Kiss.

It hurt, he was leaving me no choice, I had already been told if he asked I was to grant his request. For me to refuse now would be to condemn both him and myself to judgment. I did not know if I could survive the judgment knowing I purposely disobeyed a command of God.

The room filled with light as I drew in the mantle of Life, as the Power filled me the cares of this world dropped away and only the love of God remained keeping me from taking on the full Power as I knew one day I would.

Everything of this world dropped away as I brushed Paul's cheek running my fingers slowly from his hairline to his lower jaw and back up again. Circling over to his other cheek and repeating the process. I leaned in touching my lips against his kissing so gently. With the Kiss the throne appeared in the room, the room took on the appearance of a court room there were tables sitting before the throne, on the tables were boxes, in the boxes were things not tangible in the physical realm, but here, here in this place the things in those boxes were very real. Very real and very dark. As I looked at the boxes and started removing their contents I realized just what it was I was seeing. The contents of those boxes were Paul's life in this world they marked every sin he ever committed and not repented for. To me the contents were vile and ugly, they demanded death, eternal separation from someone as pure and perfect as God, yet I knew also that what I saw could and would be forgiven with but a simple request from Paul to do so.

"You need to choose Paul. All this is yours if you so desire. Nothing in these boxes will be taken from you if that is your choice." I looked to my right and there on another table sat a garment stained with blood. A rag by any standard. "Or if you wish this can all be given to the person to whom this shroud covered. You need to choose which it will be Paul. One choice leads to eternal damnation, the other to forgiveness and freedom."

So those were the kind of words I use as the Daughter of Life. I knew the Power I knew the choice that would save. Wrapped in the Power that knowledge didn't matter. I wanted him to make the right choice, but it was not my place to share which choice was which, my place was to tell the choice only, then pray that God would be merciful.

"Connie, Paul has been shot."

"Ellen what do you mean Paul has been shot? I just talked to him yesterday. No Ellen if... please tell me the bullet didn't hit anywhere vital."

"Connie he is in critical condition. The doctors aren't giving him good odds of surviving."

"I'm sorry Ellen, I can't help him. The only way I had of saving him is gone. He asked me for the Kiss a few months ago, I tried to convince him not to, but he insisted and I was left with no choice. Ellen I am so sorry, if I gave him the Kiss now the only thing it would do is let me know if he is with God or not, either way to this world he would be dead."

"He survived the Kiss a few months ago?"

"Yes he..."

********

"Connie are you listening? We think for now it would be wise to hold off buying Paul out." We all turned to Paul. "Paul it isn't that we don't want to, but we have to know the company is clean and not part of the family business," Ellen said.

Paul looked at me and cracked a big smile. "You never heard a word either of them said, did you?" he asked.

"No Paul I didn't, but I agree with their decision nonetheless. These two ladies know more about running a business then I ever will, if they say wait we wait," I said.

"So what would it take to get you to over ride them? Connie it is getting harder all the time to keep my fashion house out of the family business. I don't want it corrupted, but unless I sell it I can't stop it," he said.

"Paul do you really have so little faith in yourself? With what it really is you want from me I'm not buying that you can't keep your fashion house from becoming corrupted by the family business. Fact is Paul if you get what you really want from me and are still running the family business outside the light I don't hold out much hope you will survive long. Paul think about it a while longer please. The Kiss can and does kill those who cannot make the right choice," I said.

With that I stood and the meeting was over. Paul knew the answer he received was all there was, to try pressing it farther would have only caused me to take an even stronger stand and make it so he couldn't gain access to me without it being my idea. He wasn't going to do that since he had something he wanted from me even more than this, and he knew I knew what it was.

As we left Paul asked if I would stay just a moment as he wanted to talk to me in private. I wasn't sure what he wanted, and was afraid it might be what the vision had been, and if that was it I really didn't want to talk to him.

"Ellen I'll meet you back at the office in twenty minutes." I turned back to Paul and stood there looking at him.

"Can I give you a ride back to your office, what I want to talk about would be better discussed somewhere more private."

We walked down to his car and he held the door as I slipped in, I over heard him tell his driver we needed about twenty minutes, and to see to it we were at my offices in that time, but not before.

As he climbed in he checked to insure the window dividing the front and back of the car was up and the intercom was locked out.

"Connie I know you don't want to give me the Kiss of Life, I'm not sure why, but I respect your wishes at least for now. What I wanted to talk about is the Kiss however," he said.

I looked him in the eyes and smiled. He did want to talk about the Kiss, but he wasn't going to ask me to give it, at least not yet. It was a relief that he wasn't going to ask for the Kiss, but I wasn't sure what there was to talk about pertaining to it if he wasn't going to ask for it.

"Okay Paul, thank you for respecting my desire not to give you the Kiss at this time. So you understand, I don't believe there is much I can tell you about it since I have never used that part of my abilities yet," I said.

"I understand, Connie I'm hoping perhaps we can figure out what the Kiss is about together. I know there is a risk in receiving the Kiss, but if the stories are true there is also a risk for you in giving it as well. It is that risk I wish to know more about, for me it is more I want to better understand how the Sisters of Death came about. I know they weren't there at the time of the first Daughter of Life, something happened at that time that brought them into being, you are the only person I know of who might know," he said.

I started laughing, it wasn't so much that what he said was funny to me. No, it was more at the relief that he knew neither he nor I was ready to find out more about the Kiss of Life.

"Did I say something funny?" he asked.

"No Paul, it isn't that anything you said was funny so much as I am so relieved at what it is you want to talk about. Yes I can tell you about what happened to bring about the Sisters of Death, I was curious about it myself and prayed so I might understand. Paul do you know the real purpose of why I'm the one who wears both seals of God? Do you understand the task that has been given me?" I asked.

He looked at me strangely, as though I had spoken a language he couldn't begin to understand.

"Paul there will be two Daughters of Life after me. The last will be my daughter, the next I have met, but will more than likely not see again in this life. Neither of them will I have the chance to teach the Powers of Life," I said.

"I don't think I understand what you mean about there only being two after you. How do you know there are only two after you?" he asked.

"I know because I was told, my daughter will usher in the return of the Lord in all his glory. I won't be here to teach her so another needs to be, besides I saw the mark on the next Daughter when I met her. Now as to your question, the Sisters of Death came about out of the Sisters of Life. The First Daughter loved and trusted her sister with all that was hers. Her sister took that to mean even her husband which it hadn't meant. The sister fell in love with Daughters husband and Daughters husband in turn lusted for the sister and betrayed the Daughter of Life."

"Once a Daughter of Life takes the Mantle of Life on herself she needs those she loves to help her set it aside again. Without that love the Power becomes so intoxicating it is difficult at best to care about this world. It is as though this world no longer exists."

"That happened to the first Daughter of Life her husband betrayed her and when she needed his love it wasn't there for her. The Power almost consumed her, and because her sister was implicit in the betrayal she became the first Sister of Death, the betrayal caused the second Daughter of Life to have to take the mantle and use the Power of Life to save her mother by giving her the Kiss of Life. Because both held the Power of Life both faced the throne of judgment with no one to bring either back," I explained.

"So the sisters of Death are quite literally the cause of Death for the first two Daughters of Life?" he asked.

"No! They are implicated in the deaths of the first two Daughters of Life, but they did not kill either of them out right," I said.

"Connie I don't think I understand. How can they not be responsible?" he asked.

"Paul it is called free agency. The first Daughter took on the mantle of Life to protect those she loved. She could have just as easily taken them through the veil of time to have protected them. To have done that would have been a minor use of the Power the Daughter of Life has access to. Had she done that the Power of Life would not have had the chance to consume her. Then the second Daughter had the choice of not taking on the mantle of Life and giving her mother the Kiss, she could have let the Power consume her mother in which case her mother would likely have killed a great many and thus condemned herself. The second Daughter instead chose to take the Power and use it to save her mother thus both died to this world but were saved throughout eternity," I said.

He looked at me as understanding dawned. He hadn't stopped to look at life in that way. To him life was choices that were black and white only. When Ellen told her family she was a girl it had been hard for him to accept because she had been believed to be male, not a choice a fact. Then from out of nowhere she announces that everything everyone wanted to believe wasn't true, she wasn't male regardless of all the physical evidence to the contrary. Now it was all starting to make more sense, he loved Ellen and thought of her as his sister because she believed she was a female, she made a choice, or so he believed.

"Paul I really do need to go talk to Ellen and Antoinette about some business ideas we are thinking of. If you don't have anymore questions..." I said.

I opened the door and stepped out. "Paul I want you to think about something for me. One day it could be possible you will need the Kiss of Life to have a chance to live longer in this life. I know you are thinking of asking me for the Kiss. I hope you won't, that you will give me the chance to save your life, something I won't be able to do if you ask for the Kiss." I turned and went in the building.

As I entered the office everyone looked up at me.

"Connie is everything alright?" Mom asked.

"Yes mom. Everything is fine. We need to take a look at those numbers. Antoinette is everything ready as you said it would be?" I asked.

"Yes sister Everything is right there before you. The slides are the same as the charts in the papers before you," Antoinette said.

I was looking over everything and noticed one thing that bothered me. When we discussed these ideas on the phone it was companies that were struggling we talked about. Now though the companies I was seeing were all solvent.

"Excuse me here a moment. These companies I see here in this list have we already bought them or are we no longer interested in them since the data for each of them show a very strong company?" I asked.

"Connie these companies are companies we did look at, and we did go in and talk to the owners of the companies. Without exception they have all on following advice from us turned their companies around. They are all wearing the Fashionista logo as well though Fashionista does not own them outright," Ellen said.

I looked at Ellen in disbelief. How could these companies have turned around so fast, unless... "Did we finance their turn around? Is that why they are wearing our logo and listening to us on how to better run their business?" I asked.

"Very perceptive, yes they are wearing our logo because it was part of the agreement in our helping them. Connie we thought we would give it a try without buying these companies first, it was Antoinette's idea," Ellen said.

"I like the idea. So these companies are the ones willing to participate in this idea. What about the other companies, have you got anything on them, or do they even exist any longer?" I asked.

"Most have refused our help, because of the logo deal, they felt that wearing our logo was more than they were ready to do. We talked about not requiring the use of the logo, but opted against since it was our money at risk," Ellen said.

"This is your idea Antoinette? It was you who said if they cannot wear our logo they cannot play with our money?" I asked.

Ellen started laughing, it was obvious I knew my sister.

"It is only if we are part of their company, they should not be ashamed to have people know they are backed by us. We offered these other companies the chance and they tell us no they do not like us," Antoinette said.

"Antoinette I approve the idea behind the logo, I agree also that if we are backing them they should not be ashamed to let people know we are doing so. Ellen I need to go home where I grew up for a few months. I'll be here in the States and I haven't scheduled any shows for my line for the time I will be here. Here is the phone number where I will be able to be reached if you can't get me on my cell phone," I said.

The meeting was over and in the morning we were headed west to let grand-mama spend time with her family she hadn't seen in more years than Antoinette, and I together, are old. I had my own business to tend to while there since I knew who I wanted my daughters father to be, not the man I truly wanted, but a good man nonetheless.

Erin, Paula, Judy, and Cindy met us at the airport so excited I would return home. They acted as though I had been gone for years when in reality it had only been one year since I'd moved to New York to become a fashion designer. The company cars that had been arranged took everyone to the hotel where we had reserved the penthouse and the floor below. Marie insisted I have the penthouse since it was big enough I could use it as an office if need be while there. Once we were checked in and had our bags in our rooms I told Marie I needed to go and see some people to make the arrangements for grand-mama to meet with everyone.

When I got to the lobby I saw an old friend standing there. I didn't realize how big he was, he seemed a giant standing there waiting to talk to someone who was busy at the registration desk. As I approached the desk he looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back and signaled that I would like to talk to him, but first needed to talk with the person behind the desk.

"Miss Carlson, everything is okay isn't it?" the clerk asked.

"Yes, everything is fine, I was hoping you could have my car brought around I have a few errands I need to tend to, there is someone I need to talk to here so if the car can be ready in fifteen minutes out front," I said.

The conversation the other person was having with the registrations clerk caught my attention.

"... I'm sorry sir, but we are full," the clerk said.

"I made reservations a month ago," the man said.

"Yes sir, but the reservations were to have been for yesterday, when you didn't show up and didn't call we let the room out to someone else," the clerk said.

"So what am I supposed to do now. With this convention in town there aren't rooms anywhere else," the man said.

"Excuse me monsieur, perhaps I can help." They both turned to me, the desk clerk going very pale as realization of who I am sank in. "I have an extra room you can have for as long as you need unless I leave then all the rooms I have will be available," I said.

"Mademoiselle Carlson this man is..." the clerk started.

I looked at the desk clerk and dared him to finish what he was about to say. "Monsieur do you smoke?" I asked.

"No, why?" he asked.

"I ask only because some of my party are allergic to tobacco smoke." I turned to the desk clerk and asked for the key to one of the rooms on the floor below the penthouse.

The clerk handed me the key and I handed it to the man needing a room. "Monsieur this room is yours as long as you need." I turned again to the desk clerk and the manager and said that this man was now with my party and would be allowed the same privileges as any of the members of my party.

"Scott I was hoping we could get together sometime real soon and talk," I said.

"It's good to see you too Connie, what's it been two years?" he asked.

"Scott can we get together and talk about old times and what brings me back," I said.

"Answer me this first. How is it my friend there argues with that clerk for an hour about a room and within minutes of you entering the argument he has one of the best rooms in the hotel?" Scott asked.

"Because that room belongs to my company, as does the penthouse in this hotel. Fashionista owns the top three floors of this hotel, I'm the CEO of Fashionista. Now is there any chance we can get together tomorrow?" I asked.

He smiled again then started laughing. "You always did say you were going to be big one day, I never realized just how big. Sure I'll be at the outlaw tonight how about meeting me there," he said.

"Make it tomorrow night and I'll be there." I headed for the door and my waiting car.

I heard Scott's friend ask if he knew who I am, and heard Scott start laughing again. I didn't wait to hear what Scott's answer was, to me it wasn't important, getting the arrangements for grand-mama to meet with all her family still living was at the moment my top priority.

"Connie it's so good to see you again, We heard you moved to France," Gwen said.

"I did. I even changed my citizenship to French, I'm no longer an American, though the government would argue that," I said.

"So how long are you in town for?" Gwen asked.

"I don't know for sure at the moment. A couple months, maybe longer. I can't stay long today I have several other things to do as well, Gwen I came by to ask when a good time would be for me to bring grand-mama out for a visit. It has been so long since she has been home and she really does want to see her sister and brothers families. We are staying at the Hilton in town," I said.

"Grand-mama? I thought your grandparents were all dead," Gwen said.

Gwen she isn't really my grand-mama as much as she is my French mothers mother and your husbands aunt," I said.

"My husbands aunt? Connie she left long before he was born, mom hasn't even heard from her in fifteen years I believe," Roger said.

"I know, grand-mama stopped writing because your mother moved and didn't leave a forwarding address. At least that's what grand-mama said. She sent several letters and cards and got them back marked not at this address. Gwen she showed me the letters, she did try to stay in touch, but never had the money to come home and go back to her family in France," I said.

"I know the time you're talking about. It wasn't there was no forwarding address. Mother didn't want her mail coming here so never filed a forwarding address. She didn't want us knowing about the problems her and dad were having making ends meet. They told us they sold the house, it wasn't until six months later we found out the house had been foreclosed," Roger said.

We talked for an hour getting everything set for grand-mama to visit the next day. Gwen asked if I was going to be there since she knew she could get Richard to come if I would be. I let her know if Richard was going to be there, or there was even a chance of him being there it would be better for now if I didn't. I wasn't sure how I would handle seeing him again right now, and last time we talked he said it almost cost his marriage.

His marriage was supposed to mean that much to me? He married the mortal enemy of his mother and I, and I was supposed to care about his marriage. That woman he was married to would do all she could to see me dead, especially me, now that I had come into my Power as the Daughter of Life. Oh yes, she knew who I was, and she knew nothing in this world could harm me now other than the man I had been bonded to, and he was hers at the moment. I knew she would do all she could to turn him away from loving me, that she would encourage him to hate me and abandon me when I most needed him and that being hopefully before what I was supposed to do not after. As I said my good byes to Gwen and Roger and reached for the door to leave the door opened and Richard walked in.

" _Hello_ _my_ _love_ ," I said.

"Hello sweetheart," Richard said.

" _Don't_ _you_ _dare_ _call_ _me_ _that_ _Richard._ _How_ _dare_ _you_ _call_ _me_ _your_ _sweetheart_ _after_ _what_ _you_ _did_?" I asked.

"You called me your love," he said.

" _Yes_ _I_ _did,_ _but_ _I'm_ _not_ _the_ _one_ _who_ _married_ _someone_ _else_ ," I said.

" Fair enough. Connie we went over this the last time we talked," he said.

"Y _es,_ _and_ _nothing_ _has_ _changed,_ _you_ _are_ _still_ _married_ _to_ _that_ _witch_ ," I said.

"Connie she is not a witch. If you aren't willing to talk to me in English say so now, French is not that easy for me," he said.

" _I_ _am_ _French,_ _Richard._ _I_ _want_ _to_ _speak_ _in_ _the_ _language_ _of_ _the_ _land_ _where_ _I_ _live,_ _if_ _it_ _is_ _too_ _much_ _for_ _you_ _maybe_ _you_ _do_ _not_ _have_ _to_ _think_ _of_ _me._ _Maybe_ _it_ _would_ _be_ _better_ _if_ _you_ _forget_ _me_ _all_ _together._ _If_ _you_ _want_ _I_ _can_ _help_ _you_ _to_ _do_ _so_ ," I said.

Did I want him to forget me? Why would I make such an offer when what I really wanted was to have him hold me and tell me he loved me. I turned from him as what I said started to sink in. I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes at the thought he might say yes, he would rather just forget me and what we promised so long ago.

He took my arm and turned me to face him again. "No! I never want to forget you. Connie I have loved you as long as I can remember. I made a mistake and married someone else, but it is still and always has been you I love." He released my arm. "If French is the only language I will ever hear you speak again, I will do all I can to improve my French so we can both talk in the same language," he said.

"I still know English. I was just angry with you and wanted to make it hard for you to figure out what I said. Richard you have been released from the bond we shared, but I have not. Seeing you and knowing I cannot be with you is very hard for me, grand-mama will be coming over to visit with your dad and grandma, I won't be coming with because I want you to meet your great-aunt, but for now I cannot deal with everything else I have to deal with and see you also, for the remainder of the time I am here I ask that you not try to contact me." I again turned this time walking out to the car that was waiting for me.

Richard didn't follow me out to the car, instead turning and going in the house. I wanted to run back to him and tell him how much I loved him, how much I didn't want to play this game we were playing. I got in the car and started crying. The driver waited to find out where I wanted to go and I just cried. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't he be fully French so my daughter could be his? Why hadn't anyone told me about this before so I could have protected myself better from the pain I now felt?

I would do what I had to do, but I hated that it had to be this way. The tears slowed and I was again able to talk and asked the driver to take me to a motorcycle shop I knew of in the heart of town.

"May I help you ma'am?"

"I am not a madame I am a mademoiselle," I said.

"I'm sorry?" the man said.

"Never mind. I heard that Bruce Franks works here I need to talk to him," I said.

"He works here, but he's busy at the moment, if you'll give me your name I'll have him get in touch with you when he has his break," the man said.

"And when will that be?" I asked.

"He gets off at three," the man said.

"So he doesn't get a lunch?" I asked.

"Connie? Is that you?" Bruce said coming up behind me.

"You are supposed to be working," the man whom I had been talking with said.

"I would be Mark, if I had the parts I need. Parts I told you we needed a month ago, until I get them I have nothing to do," Bruce said.

" _Bruce_ _if_ _you_ _are_ _free_ _for_ _a_ _few_ _minutes_ _can_ _we_ _talk._ _If_ _as_ _this_ _man_ _says_ _you_ _are_ _supposed_ _to_ _be_ _working_ _how_ _about_ _showing_ _me_ _a_ _bike_ _that_ _would_ _fit_ _me._ _That_ _would_ _be_ _okay_ _with_ _you_ _wouldn't_ _it_ _Mark_?" I asked.

Bruce smiled at me and took my hand and led me inside the showroom.

"What are you doing here Connie? Last I heard you were living in New York," Bruce said.

" _I_ _moved_ _to_ _New_ _York_ _after_ _graduating,_ _but_ _I_ _now_ _live_ _in_ _Paris_ ," I said.

"Paris huh? I guess that explains the French, is it okay if we use English?" he asked.

Bruce started showing me bikes that seemed small, and I asked if he had anything bigger.

"You didn't come here looking for a bike did you?" he asked.

"Not really, no. Bruce what I want to talk about we will need somewhere a bit more private than here. When do you get lunch?" I asked.

"Half an hour, if it's that important I could take lunch now and work through what would be my normal lunch," he said.

"I thought you didn't have anything to do until you got some parts," I said.

I don't have anything to do in the shop without parts, but I have plenty to do out here on the sales floor," he said.

"So you're a salesman also?" I asked.

"No. All these bikes need work, when they came out here they were straight out of the box, all I was able to do was get them together enough they looked complete. The little bits and pieces still need to be put on and some tune-up work needs to be done," he said.

"I see so why are they out here if they need work still?" I asked.

"Long story, and one I don't have a good answer for," he said.

He started showing me some of the bigger bikes, and we came across one I really liked. I asked a few more questions. And got his ideas of what would make the dealership better, one of the questions I asked before it was his lunch time was if he knew the owner of the business.

"Mark's the owner, why?" he asked.

"The guy I was talking to first?" I asked.

"That's him. Connie I think he wants to get out of this business. When I started here there wasn't a bike on the floor that wasn't ready to go once it was bought, now there's three or four hours work to do on them once they're sold. The business is going down hill fast. The parts I need to do repairs we never have in stock any longer. And I'm never given time to get the bikes ready until after they're sold," he said.

"Mind taking lunch a little late I think I need to talk to Mark, before we go to lunch," I said.

We found Mark in his office staring at a stack of papers on his desk.

"So did you find the bike you want ma'am? Bruce can do the paperwork for selling it unless you need to finance it," Mark said.

"I wouldn't need to finance it, even if it had all the bells and whistles. I don't finance anything if I can help it, everything is a cash transaction. Bruce can work on the papers for the sale while you and I talk," I said.

He looked at me wondering just who I was that I wasn't going to need any financing.

"Mark, Bruce said you own this dealership is that right?" He affirmed he was the owner. "He also said something about you maybe wanting to get out of the business," I said.

"I don't know what would give him that idea," Mark said.

"Okay, say you were thinking of selling the business and going into something else. Just out of curiosity how much do you think would be a fair price?" I asked.

"A fair price? That depends are we talking all at once or would I have to wait for the money?" he asked.

"If I were to write out a check right now how much would it need to be for to buy the dealership lock stock and barrel," I said.

"Ma'am you can't be serious." he looked at me and I smiled. "Lock stock and barrel? How does forty million dollars sound?" he asked.

"So if I gave you a check for forty million dollars you would be willing to sell me this dealership?" I asked.

"If the check's good, sure. I'd be a fool not to," he said.

"I'll have the papers Drawn up and a cashiers check for forty million when Bruce and I get back from lunch," I said.

"You're joking." I shook my head in the negative. "Just who are you? I never thought Bruce knew anyone with that kind of money," Mark said.

"My name is Connie just as Bruce has been calling me. My last name which Bruce hasn't used though is Carlson. I'm Connie Carlson CEO of Fashionista Fashions," I said.

Reality sank in as Fashionista was mentioned. I was the girl who hit it big, the girl who just happened to have a father who owned the biggest fashion design company in the world.

"Miss Carlson... I... I..." Mark stammered.

"I'll have the papers drawn up and with me when Bruce and I get back from lunch. Mark I'm holding you to your forty million dollar offer to sell. I wasn't joking about that." Bruce got back with the papers for the sale and I looked them over and set them on Mark's desk. "You ready to go Bruce?" I asked.

We arrived at Cindy's restaurant just in time to hit her lunch rush. I asked Bruce to wait as I got us a table and asked the maître d' to let Cindy know I was here. A few minutes later we were seated at a private table.

"Connie do you have any idea what a meal costs at this restaurant?" Bruce asked.

"No, I am afraid I don't have any idea. Bruce, don't worry about the cost and enjoy the meal, I have no doubt Cindy herself will have prepared it," I said.

"You mean the owner. You know the owner of this restaurant?" he asked.

"Yes, I believe you do as well, but maybe not as herself, if you don't recognize her when the meal is brought out I'll leave it to her to tell you who she is," I said.

"Okay you brought me here for a reason and I know it wasn't because this restaurant has the best food in town. So do you want to tell me what it is?" he asked.

"We'll have time to talk after the meal is served." The waiter showed up with a bottle of wine. "We will not be having wine with the meal, wine is for dinner. Thank you." I turned back to Bruce long enough to excuse myself to make a phone call.

"That was quick," he said when I got back.

"I needed to call my lawyers about a contract."

"Your lawyers? Who are you now Connie, and what have you done with the girl I knew?" he asked.

"Bruce when I moved to New York it was to take over my fathers business. I am still just me, but I don't have to worry about money any longer. If the cost of this meal bothers you we can skip the meal here and let someone else enjoy it, either way I'll pay for the meal," I said.

"You'll do no such thing Connie. Not after lending me the money to get this place going. Hello Bruce it's been a while, how you doing?" Cindy said.

Bruce gave Cindy a strange look and then understanding crossed his expression.

"I'm doing great I think, so Connie eats here for free?" he asked.

"I still owe her a few thousand dollars and every time I try paying it she sits on the check until it isn't any good any longer. So yeah she eats here free at least until the loan is paid off," Cindy said.

"I told you that was a wedding present," I said.

"So what were you planning on for lunch?" Cindy asked.

"You mean I get to choose?" I asked.

"No, of course not as soon as I heard you were here I started fixing something special just for you, and if I don't get back to the kitchen it might burn. Then you'll get charcoal," Cindy said.

"Sounds yummy. Once we've been served is there any chance of not being disturbed for an hour or so?" I asked.

"Business I take it. No problem I'll let the staff know not to disturb you," Cindy said.

The food was brought out a few minutes later. Bruce and I ate quietly and once done I looked at him and smiled.

"Bruce I need a general manager for a motorcycle shop I own. You know more about bikes then anyone else I know and I was hoping you might be interested," I said.

"And what do I tell my boss?" he asked.

"I'd be your boss, what would you want to tell me?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Connie I mean the boss I have now not if I accept your offer," he said.

"Oh that. Well I'm not sure what you should tell him. I guess if he's a friend you could wish him well in whatever he does in the future. Of course becoming my store manager would mean about two hundred thousand a year, plus bonuses," I said.

"You're buying Mark out aren't you? What price, if you don't mind my asking," he said.

"I don't mind, I am paying forty for the works. You don't think it's worth it?" I asked.

"Forty thousand yeah it's worth that much and more," he said.

"No silly forty million," I said.

"Are you out of your mind? Connie that store isn't worth a tenth that," he said.

"Really so you're saying it isn't worth four million then? You have no idea the terms I'm setting for this sale, and with my company's business smarts and you as my manager I think I'll recoup my costs in about two years and start turning a profit in less than three. I think I'm getting a heck of a deal," I said.

"You think you can turn that store around in less than three years? How? Connie that store doesn't have the parts it needs now. Those bikes on the showroom floor are on consignment. Mark doesn't own anything but the land the shop is sitting on," he said.

"How much to set the store up? I mean to get the parts for the kind of repairs that can be done in the shop, buying the bikes on the showroom floor, along with getting enough more bikes to be able to beat the other bike stores at delivery time and price?" I asked.

"How much are you willing to spend? If you're willing to spend another couple million I think I could have it set up in about two months," he said.

"I want a full staff at least three salesmen on salary not commission. Five mechanics, if you think that will be enough, and whatever office people are necessary to insure all the paperwork is up to date. Bruce I'll be the owner in name only and as long as you're doing the job according to my corporate policies the store will be yours to run however you feel would be best," I said.

"And if I think your corporate policies are flawed and make some changes that don't quite fit those policies?" he asked.

"I would fire you and find someone else, I think once you've had a chance to see the corporate policies however you'll be just fine with them," I said.

"If I have problems do I call you?" he asked.

"No Bruce, chances are once I return to Paris you won't talk business with me on this again, if you take my offer. If you have problems you'll deal with my area president here, and if it can't be resolved through him you'll be able to go to my corporate president Ellen Moreno. If Ellen can't handle it chances are I couldn't either. However, before you go to Ellen you should go to Antoinette Bordeaux, Ellen's personal assistant and sister of my heart," I said.

"So why did we need an hour to talk if this is all you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

"Did I say this was all I wanted to talk to you about? Besides, you still haven't given me an answer," I said.

"My answer is yes, and you knew it would be. Connie I know you're the Daughter of Life and also a Sister of Life. I know the stories about the one who would bare the mark of both. I know you can read my heart and know what I am thinking even before I do," he said.

"Really! You really believe everything those stories attributed to me. Bruce think about it, do you really believe anyone but God could do all the things those stories say I can do?" I asked.

"It does seem kind of far fetched, but there are many things you can do that make little or no sense to people aren't there?" he asked.

I placed my hand on top of his on the table and stepped through the veil of time.

"Yes Bruce there are many things I can do that most people could never begin to understand." I released his hand and asked him to walk with me. "Bruce what I really need to talk to you about is best talked about here where others cannot come," I said.

He looked around seeing everything as it had been in the realm of time. "What do you mean here where others cannot come? Connie we are still in Cindy's restaurant," he said.

"No Bruce technically we are no longer in the realm of life, or time, I guess would be a better word. In this realm time as you understand has no meaning," I said.

I knew what I was looking for here. Here in this place I had all the Power I would need to complete the task set for me. I even knew what it was I was suppose to do and how to accomplish it, the problem was once I crossed back over into the world where I would have to do the work I couldn't remember how to do it, and the Power it would take to accomplish the task scared me because I knew how easily it could consume me.

Of course that was why things end the way they do I take on enough Power to do what is given me to do while I am vulnerable. Between taking on so much of the Power of Life I have to shield my son from that Power as well. Of course, now it makes sense, perhaps I could change something so when the time comes for me to... no it doesn't work that way, when the time comes as I know it will, I will be pregnant with my son.

"Bruce I need to ask something of you, something you have the right to say no to if you so choose," I said.

"You seem afraid to ask. Connie I can't say yes if you won't tell me what it is you need. If there is anything I can do I'll try my best to do it. I know what both those birthmarks mean. Mom told me once that nothing the one who had both marks asked should ever be taken lightly, that to deny without reason was like telling God no," Bruce said.

"Well I wouldn't go that far. Bruce the stories tell about how I volunteered for this before the world was don't they?" I asked.

"Mom said she wasn't sure about that one, but yes she said there was a meeting before the foundations of the world were laid and at that meeting the one who would wear both marks stepped forward because of the trust they had in God. They stepped forward saying here am I Lord send me, even before what the Lord was asking for someone to send was revealed," he said.

I smiled at the memory of that meeting and how I had indeed stepped forward before the plan had been revealed.

"The story is true I did step forward at the call not knowing what would be asked. I cannot however ask you to do that. Bruce I don't want you to say yes until you have had time to think about what I am asking." He nodded that he would think about whatever it was I asked before answering. "I need to ask a series of questions, okay?" Again he nodded.

"First do you feel the same about me you did in school? Second If I asked you to be the father to my daughter, but never be her father in life could you, and would you? Could you be the father of my daughter without the bonds of marriage?" I asked.

He looked off into the distance staring at nothing, did he still love me as he said he did once? The answer was there I could see it in his demeanor, but was also sure he wasn't aware of the answer. Slowly he turned to me and started to answer, stopping and starting again. "Yes I do still feel the same way I said I did two years ago," he said.

One answer down and a couple left to go. I took his hand and started down a path that lead to the future. I stopped at the juncture where Richard and I got back together and turned to him. "Look Bruce, see what must be," I said.

He turned and saw little Marie reach up to Richard and call him daddy. A tear formed in his eye and spilled over the lashes and on to his cheek.

"Her name is Marie after my French mother. The man will soon be my husband, but is not her birth father. Only I and possibly her birth father know who the birth father is," I said.

"Her eyes look like mine. Am I her father Connie?" he asked.

He turned to me waiting for an answer.

"I don't know Bruce. I hope her father is someone I love, but as of this moment in the world of life I do not know the answer," I said.

We went down the trail farther and again I stopped this time at the junction where the end is near for me in the world of Life. Again I asked him to look, there the girl was playing with Richard and Antoinette I had gone past my own Life and on to the life of my husband and sister.

He looked and saw how the girl loved her father and mother. How she loved life, as she turned her arm became visible and the birthmark of the Daughter of Life stood out.

"She is a Daughter of Life?" he asked.

"Yes! She is the last of those who will wear the mantel of Life. Her mother will teach her all she can as will the Daughter before her," I said.

"She is your daughter?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said.

"Then you will teach her?" he asked.

"No! I am no longer in the world of Life when she reaches this age," I said.

"Connie she's not more than ten," he said.

"She is eight and her brother is five. Bruce this is her eighth birthday, and I will have been gone five years," I said.

The tears started flowing freely down his cheeks. He hadn't been ready to hear what I had been shown from the time my Power as a Sister of Life had started to develop. I hugged him and let him know there was no need to be sad for what would be. I was born for this time, to do what needed to be done and let others do what was needed after.

"I..." He stood up straighter and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I will do whatever I can, nothing you ask is beyond my ability. Connie if you could stand before God and say here am I send me and know nothing God asked would be to great, I can stand here and say here am I nothing you ask is to great," he said.

"There is a big difference Bruce. Here it's me asking, I cannot even change things were I will be able to be here for my own children. God however is all knowing and all Powerful, I knew when he called if it was his will he would and could give me the strength to do whatever he asked of me. I cannot do that for you," I said.

I turned and we were back in the world of life standing at the car to get in. As I slid in I told the driver I needed to go to the office for a bit and wanted him to wait for me before going back to the bike shop. At the office I stopped by the legal office and found the sales contract waiting for me, as I glanced over it, Ellen came in and asked if I really though it was such a good idea buying a bike shop that was on the verge of bankruptcy. I just smiled and told her the person I wanted running it was waiting for me out in the car and with them at the helm the shop would turn around in no time.

Back in the car Bruce seemed a little nervous because of how long we had been gone. As I slid in beside him I smiled and told him he better get use to things like this because it is how I did business. Fifteen minutes later we were back at the bike shop.

"Did you have a nice lunch Bruce?" Mark asked.

Before Bruce could answer I piped in that lunch had been marvelous. "Mark I have here the contract I told you about and have found that forty million is about thirty-nine million more than this shop is worth and if I wanted to wait another month or two I could pick it up out of bankruptcy court for even less. You'll find I'm more than generous however, and the contract is for the forty million I previously agreed on, but it does come with provisions. Please feel free to read it over before signing it, remember though you don't get anything until that contract is signed. If for some reason you feel I'm being less than fair, I will be keeping an eye on this shop and am in no hurry to buy," I said.

He read over the contract and once finished looked up at me and shook. "You've got to be kidding about this," he said.

"No Mark it is no joke. You sign that contract and you are out of the motorcycle business for at least the next ten years, as for the name on the shop you can have that back no questions asked as we have already come up with another name for it. Then of course there is the matter of the money you own me for the lease on this property, that I am willing to write off if you are willing to sign that contract right now and be off the premises by closing tonight," I said.

"And if I say no?" he asked.

"You really don't want to know. I'll tell you though so you can make up your mind a little easier. If you don't sign the contract today agreeing to all the provisions in the contract, or pay me what you owe me, I will start eviction first thing in the morning," I said.

"You have me between a rock and a hard place Miss Carlson. Without the money from selling you the company I don't have the money to pay you and I can't have that money unless I sign the contract, then I won't need the money," he said.

He signed the contract and started cleaning out his desk. I laid the check on the desk and asked how long he felt he would need to finish getting his things together. He asked if I was going to have security people watching, to which I asked if I really needed to.

"No ma'am I have a feeling you don't care what I take, as long as I am out of here today," he said.

I smiled and turned to go find Bruce.

"So I take it Mark is signing that contract of yours." Bruce said rather matter of fact.

"Of course he is because doing so will give him a lot of money and not doing so will cost him everything. Bruce my people were just putting that contract together while we had lunch they were looking into this shop and what if any ties we might have to it. They found a very big one in that we own the land this shop is sitting on and the lease hasn't been paid in quite some time," I said.

"So you gave him the option of signing the contract or paying the lease which you knew he didn't have the money to do. Am I right?" he asked.

"It was something like that." I didn't feel a need for Bruce to know all the details of what transpired, the bike shop was going to be mine personally, but like all the businesses I owned now, it would be managed by Fashionista.

I asked if there was somewhere we could meet later to celebrate my new company and his promotion to being president of that company. He suggested a bar he knew of where he and some of his friends hung out. I told him I would meet him there about seven o'clock.

I turned to leave and Mark stopped me asking how he knew the check was good. "Mark that check is drawn on a local bank, if you don't think it's good, call the bank and ask, I think you will find when I make promises I keep them. Perhaps if you had run this business that way you wouldn't have found yourself in the situation you did in having no real option other than selling out to me," I said.

"Believe me I wanted out, and this is better for me. I'm not happy about some of the terms of this contract, but I am glad to be rid of this white elephant," he said.

"Mark in three years I will have made every dollar I just gave you for this so called white elephant of yours back and more besides. Do you know why I am that confident?" He shook his head, still showing signs that he thought I was crazy thinking I could turn this company around that quickly. "I'll make back my money and more because I will give people the best I have to give. I won't short change them trying to get more out of them than they have. It is a little thing called service, I have what they want and am willing to see they get what they are paying for," I said.

"I have one question Miss Carlson. I have no doubt your company Fashionista has this kind of money, but how is it you have this kind of money? According to everything I was able to find you have a salary lower than mine, yet this check is on your personal account not your corporate account," he asked.

"This company won't be part of Fashionista as long as I am alive. Once I am gone however all the companies I own personally will become subsidiaries of Fashionista. I have the money because of other investments I have and the money I make off the runway as a fashion designer. I take a small salary from Fashionista simply because as the CEO I have to, I have little to nothing to do with how Fashionista is run day to day," I said.

"I heard you were a big time fashion designer," he said.

"I've heard that myself. Something about I have sold on the runway at higher prices consistently than any other designer. Good day Mr Williams, when you leave just give your keys to Bruce," I said.

I again turned to leave, Mark didn't try stopping me again. I heard him pick up the phone and start dialing, I assumed he was calling the bank to make sure the check was good. I smiled at the thought and got in the car.

"Eddie can you take me somewhere I can look out over the city?" I asked my driver.

Eddie drove me up to one of the canyons that had a nice view of the city. I got out and stood there overlooking the city.

My life became so different from what I thought it would be. Did these two birthmarks mean more than I could imagine? No, I knew what they meant, I knew without being told. I had known as long as I could remember. "Connie the world is yours if you choose." "Nothing I have will I not give if you ask." "All things are of the father, they are for his purpose." "See the father and you will find peace." Peace that was what was missing. I knew what I needed to do, I thought I knew what was expected of me by the father, but I hadn't sought his will. What did he expect of me?

"Miss? It's starting to get late. You did promise that man you would meet him at seven o'clock," Eddie said.

I finished my prayer and looked up, "Eddie how long have we been here?" I asked.

"Going on four hours Miss," Eddie said.

Four hours. That meant it was about five o'clock. "Eddie where can I get something in leather, the whole outfit not just part of an outfit?" I asked.

He took me to a store he knew of he hoped would be able to fill the bill.

"May I help you ma'am," someone said.

I started to say I was only looking then saw the outfit I wanted for tonight. With that outfit I knew I would fit with a bunch of bikers. "Yes I need each piece of that outfit in a size two, the boots should be a size seven."

Fifteen minutes later I had my outfit and one for Antoinette as well. If I was going to do this I wanted someone there I knew besides Bruce. In the car again I started changing and noticed Eddie looking in the rear view mirror which he had adjusted so he could see me instead of the road.

"Are you getting a good look Eddie?" I asked.

"Sorry Miss," he said.

"Eddie please, I know you aren't sorry, if you were you wouldn't have adjusted the mirror so you could see me better," I said.

"I just never had a lady change like that in the back of my car before Miss," he said.

"Don't park when we get back to the hotel, I'll only be a few minutes," I said.

I ran in the hotel and got stopped by the desk clerk on my way to the elevators.

"Excuse me Hun, the elevators are for guests only, if you need to talk to someone I could call them to meet you here in the lobby," the night manager said.

I started laughing this clerk had no idea who I was and it felt wonderful having someone not cater to me simply because they were afraid to do otherwise.

"Sure babe can you let Miss Antoinette Bordeaux know her sister is here and in a hurry for a meeting so she better hurry down," I said.

"You know the Fashionista parties staying here?" the manager asked.

"I sure hope so I'm paying their bill. Just tell her I'm waiting in the car would you babe," I said.

I turned and went back out to the car and waited.

" _I_ _cannot_ _believe_ _what_ _you_ _would_ _do._ _The_ _front_ _desk_ _calls_ _my_ _room_ _and_ _said_ _you're_ _sitting_ _there_ _waiting_ _for_ _me_ _in_ _the_ _car._ _Why_ _did_ _not_ _you_ _come_ _get_ _me_?" Antoinette asked sliding in the car.

"So you are anger enough with me to use French instead of English. I didn't come up because the desk clerk didn't want to let me come up the way I'm dressed," I said.

" _You_ _were_ _coming_ _up_ _to_ _get_ _me_ _then_?" she asked.

"Yes. Antoinette I was wondering how you'd feel about going to a biker bar with me? If you would rather stay here with mom and dad I understand," I said.

" _I_ _do_ _not_ _have_ _clothes_ _to_ _wear_ _to_ _a_ _biker_ _bar,_ _but_ _you_ _knew,_ _so_ _you_ _bought_ _some_ _for_ _me,_ _no_?" she asked.

She got in the car and started undressing to change into the outfit I bought for her. I noticed Eddie again adjust the mirror so he could watch her as he had done with me, and smiled.

"Eddie have you ever seen a French woman get mad?" I asked.

He readjusted the mirror so he was looking out the back window and started for the bar I was to meet Bruce at.

" _Monsieur_ _likes_ _to_ _see_ _girls_ _get_ _naked,_ _right?_ _I_ _hope_ _that_ _monsieur_ _did_ _not_ _mind_ _so_ _I_ _show_ _him_ _how_ _French_ _women_ _may_ _punish_ _for_ _pleasure_ _taken_ _in_ _the_ _manor_ _of_ _such_ ," Antoinette said.

"Miss can I ask what she just said? I don't speak French, but whatever it was she said it sounded nice," Eddie said.

"I say if I see you again watching to see me naked I will have to punish you in the manor of the French woman. If you think it is nice you will no think it is so nice after it is done. You see monsieur I do speak the English, but it is no so easy for me when I am angry," Antoinette said.

"I didn't mean any offense ma'am. I'm not use to having beautiful women change in the back seat of the car like that," Eddie said.

I filled Antoinette in on the purchase of the bike shop and Bruce who I wanted running it for me. I asked Antoinette if she would be willing to over see the bike shop and whatever other businesses I had or bought while in the States this time. I was sure what her answer would be, but wanted her to know it was her decision if she was interested. She hadn't given me her response when we arrived at the bar, so I sat there and waited.

"Connie you know I will be willing to keep an eye on your companies for you, the decisions are yours if they are not simple, I do not understand America business so well yet," she said.

"Thank you Antoinette, I didn't think you would refuse this request. I'm not that good with how businesses should operate either, but I'm sure Ellen would not mind giving advice for us to consider," I said.

We told the driver we would call a cab if we didn't have another way back to the hotel, but were sure before the night was over we would have rides back to the hotel. We watched the car leave and turned our attention to the bar.

At the door we both got carded and of course showed our fake IDs.

"You know girls I shouldn't let you in, but I have a feeling if I don't you'll find a way of making me regret it before the night's over," the man at the door said.

"Monsieur you are very right about us making you wish if you did not allow us to enter," Antoinette said.

I just stood there and smiled. I knew this guy and he knew me, he knew I was still under age, but also knew if he didn't let me pass I could find a way of making him regret the day he was born.

"Aw Rick you are such a sweet heart, you know that?" I asked.

"Connie... Yeah I thought that was you. So I heard you're living in Paris now," he said.

"I am. Rick this is my sister Antoinette she is likely even more dangerous than I am when she doesn't get what she wants," I winked making sure both saw it. "Is Bruce here yet?" I asked.

"He got here about ten minutes ago, he said you'd be here," Rick said.

"We have some business to discuss, I promise we won't be drinking much maybe one or two drinks is all," I said.

"Maybe no drinks, Connie I know you're underage about your sister I couldn't really say, but I would guess she's underage too," Rick said.

"Rick two drinks then if you want to cut us off fine, or would you rather push for more concession than that?" I asked.

"I'm going to hold you to it Connie," he said.

"Connie! Rick they're with me," Bruce said coming to the door.

We headed into the bar and Bruce asked if he could get us a drink.

"What kind of wine do they have here?" Antoinette asked.

"Wine? I don't know if they have any wine. Judy how about a couple buds for the ladies," Bruce said.

"Bruce this is Antoinette my sister, she is the one you will be dealing with about the bike shop. I thought it would be a good idea for you to meet her. Antoinette, Bruce will be running the bike shop for me. He's the one I was telling you about on the way here," I said.

Bruce invited me to dance and before we made it to the dance floor someone else asked Antoinette. We danced a couple dances, before the beers arrived at the table Bruce was at. Once we took our seats Antoinette and I both took a sip of the beers and set them back on the table.

"You girls aren't going to drink that are you?" Bruce asked.

I looked at Antoinette and shook my head. I heard beer was an acquired taste, but if this was what it tasted like I knew I would never acquire a taste for it. Bruce ordered us a mixed drink that we both were willing to drink, though we did taste them before settling.

Over the next hour we discussed what it would take to bring the bike shop up to what we thought would be acceptable. I gave Antoinette and Bruce free rein to spend what they thought would be enough to bring the shop up to the standard it should have been. I turned to Antoinette and said I wanted to do an expansion, another building where the shop could be separate from the sales floor, then take the existing shop and open it to the showroom and spread the showroom out more so everything didn't seem so cramped. I wanted the showroom to be roomy where people coming to look at bikes would be able to look at them, rather than tripping over the bikes around the one they wanted to look at.

We agreed to have an architect come in and go over what we could and could not do with the building we had. I wanted to continue both the repair and sales of bikes and have a plan in place so we could do so while remodeling to make everything easier.

Bruce said if we were willing to pay he knew a few great bike mechanics. Antoinette wanted to know what he meant by pay, to which he said the guys he had in mind wouldn't work for less than twenty dollars an hour, but they were worth every penny if we were willing to take the chance.

"Bruce I am willing to sink another twenty million into this venture, but for that twenty million I want to start seeing the company making a profit rather than costing me more within three years. In five years the shop should have paid back all it has cost with interest. Year six should be black ink for both the shop and me," I said.

"Connie I don't..." Bruce started.

"Monsieur Connie say it is possible, it is possible, she would not say otherwise," Antoinette said.

Bruce looked from Antoinette to me. "I am guessing in this buy out of yours you took on all the debt of the shop too?" Bruce asked.

"The shop has no debt Bruce, but to answer your question yes I did. Something you need to understand here Bruce is that following the business plan Ellen, Antoinette, and I worked out this venture can start making a profit within the first year. That means it is paying all its own operating costs and starting to pay me back the money I sink into it," I said.

"I would like to include motorcycle clothes as well as motorcycle sales and repair. Make the store a one stop shopping experience for those coming to look at motorcycles." Antoinette said.

"You have designers in mind for clothes for our store, I am guessing," I said.

"Yes! I have seen some of the designs you have make, they are very good," she said.

"My designs are horrid. No, the designs I have for this kind of clothes are not an option," I said.

Antoinette looked at me and smiled. She knew my designs for biker wear were bad, she also knew I loved her designs for such wear.

" _I_ _was_ _hoping_ _maybe_ _use_ _your_ _name_ _on_ _my_ _work,_ _we_ _both_ _know_ _the_ _drawings_ _are_ _not_ _easy_ _for_ _this_ _kind_ _of_ _clothing_ ," Antoinette said.

"Sis if you are hoping Bruce would not know what you said I am afraid he does. He taught me the little French I knew before going to France the first time," I said.

She started laughing and looked at Bruce. "This is true monsieur, you speak French?" she asked.

He nodded and smiled. She laughed even harder. "You make this easy for me sister, you find a man I cannot yell at in French so he does not understand. One day I will do for you what you do for me," she said.

We carried on our meeting for another hour and when I ended it reminding Antoinette she had a meeting in the morning with her great-aunt so she should really get some sleep.

Since we had sent the car away Bruce offered to see if one of his friends would be willing to take her back to the hotel. I told Bruce I should get to bed soon as well and would appreciate if he would give me a ride. At the hotel I invited Bruce to come up so we could talk some more, but reminded him the motorcycle shop was business and business could wait until another time for now.

Bruce came in to see just how I was living these days. On entering the hotel mom was sitting in the lobby waiting for us.

" _What_ _is_ _this?_ _You_ _think_ _because_ _you're_ _a_ _big_ _shot_ _in_ _business_ _you_ _do_ _not_ _need_ _to_ _let_ _your_ _mom_ _know_ _what_ _you've_ _done_ _all_ _day_?" Marie said.

"Mom this is Bruce a friend from when I lived here. If you are speaking French to keep him from knowing your displeasure with me it will not work his French is equal to ours," I said.

"Good evening monsieur Bruce. Forgive me my outburst it is that Connie has been gone all day and not said anything about what she has been doing." Mom turned back to me. "You will explain sweetheart."

"Mom I went to see your cousin and make arrangements for everyone to get together tomorrow. From there I went to talk to Bruce and bought the company he was working for. After that I went up in the hills above the city and sat there thinking about how much my life has changed since the last time I was here. I agreed to meet Bruce at seven o'clock and thought Antoinette would enjoy meeting some of my old friends so invited her to go with to meet Bruce. Now I am back and very tired, but still have a thousand things to do before going to bed," I said.

"And this Bruce he is seeing you to your room and will then leave, no?" Mom asked.

"Mom I am a big girl if I want to invite Bruce up to my room I will. Do I tell you, you cannot sleep with papa? No! I would not tell you such a thing. Bruce and I need to talk about some things and I have many things to think out for tomorrow so I cannot go with you to see your family here. Maybe you will get to meet Richard while you are visiting, that is another reason I cannot go with tomorrow, Richard and I had a fight today, and I do not wish to see him again until he can again love me," I said.

"Sweetheart, I am so sorry that your Richard is so blind," Mom said.

"Mom Richard is doing what he must do, it is just that for me it is so hard to see him. Good night mom. I love you," I said.

Bruce looked at me as Marie walked away to the elevator.

"Connie it is getting late and we do have a lot of work to do tomorrow I think I'm going to call it a night and go home," Bruce said.

"Bruce I..." I started to beg him to stay.

"Can we talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about tomorrow?" he asked.

I smiled and realized he had no memory of what I had shown or told him after lunch, this wasn't the first time this happened, no one I ever took on the other side of the veil remembered what they had seen or heard there for long. All I could figure is I needed to remember because of what I needed to do.

"Of course Bruce I'll see you in the morning, say eight o'clock," I said.

Antoinette was standing by the elevator as I approached.

"He is the father?" she asked.

I nodded. "Antoinette can we talk or are you tired?" I asked.

We entered the elevator and I took her hand.

"I still remember what happen in this place sister," she said.

"Do you want to see?" I asked.

"Connie I do not need to see what my heart tells me is true. I know in my heart we are sisters before time, I know in my heart we are sisters still. The heart she does not lie," she said.

I gave her a hug. "At least let me tell you about the before time." I told her the story and watched as she started understanding who we both are, what her role was to be.

"I am not the Daughter of Life like you are, but you say I have a Power that even you cannot handle. How can this be?" she asked.

"This can be because you are the Daughter of Love, Antoinette without Love there is no Life. Everyone I have taken beyond the veil has no memory of what they saw or heard. You say you remember still if you do not have a Power as great or greater you could not remember, what is there would have no meaning for you," I said.

"So the things you have show me I remember because of this Power of Love, no?" she asked.

"I think so yes. I remember when we first met. You seemed so angry, then after we talked for a short time you changed. It was as though you remembered the before time," I said.

"When we first meet you are American and do not understand even baby French, but you wish to learn this you show me, by learning the French. My heart it say you are French, but you are not French too. I could not understand this, and hope that you can explain. It is in the learning I know you are my sister. As you learn the French I learn the English, but I no learn the English so good as you learn the French," she said.

"I love French, I grew-up speaking English because it is what everyone spoke. The French I learned because it is the language of my Power and my heart," I said. "Look. This is the man that will love two sisters. The father of both of their children."

********

"Antoinette is everything alright?"

"Why would everything not be alright?"

"I worry about you since Connie left."

"Richard she tried to tell us so we would not worry about her. She is no more hurt as in this world. She teach me to love as I never love before."

********

"Why you show me this? You know I will remember this, so why you show me?" Antoinette asked.

"Because when I am gone you won't remember. Antoinette the work I will do will take the memories of all who have come here and remembered doing so. I wish it could be different, but..." I said not able to finish.

"Then why you show me this? Connie where do you go?" she asked.

"You know the answer to that. I struggle with so many things no one knows anything about. No Daughter of Life before wore both symbols of Life. Antoinette I share this because I am scared. Look that is Marie my daughter. That little boy is my son Richard, who I will only see for a short time in life. You are the only mom he will ever know," I said.

"I do not understand," she said.

"Look. If there is anyway I will leave you this memory the chance to see me one last time. Richard he will be big like his father. I wish I could remain to watch our children grow, I have tried to prepare you for this day," I said.

The vision faded and we were back in the elevator. Antoinette didn't say anything I don't think she could, her emotions had the tears streaming down both cheeks.

"Antoinette, I didn't show this to hurt you," I said.

"Connie I..." The tears were flowing the words chocked making her English even harder to understand. "Connie I do no... I do no know if I can bare this knowledge. I look at the children and I see you in them, but I do not see Richard in the girl, in Marie. He is not her papa?" she asked.

"He will always be her papa, but she is conceived of another. Richard is not French and Marie's father is, her father must be French for her to be a Daughter of Life."

"The man tonight he is French, no?" she asked.

"Yes, he is French. He is not Marie's father," I said.

"So this motorcycle business is so he will father the last Daughter of Life?" she asked.

"No, the business is because I like motorcycles and that motorcycle store was failing. He has the knowledge to make the store succeed, but he does not have the money to put into making it succeed. He did not have the money to buy the store, and the land is land we own already," I said.

The elevator reached the floor below mine. The doors opened and Antoinette stood there looking at the floor deciding if she was getting off or not.

"Your welcome to spend the night in the penthouse with me if you would like," I said.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Sister I need time to see this clearly. Good night my sister, I love you." She stepped off the elevator and let the doors close.

"I love you too my sister, good night," I whispered.

The doors opened on the penthouse and I stepped off. Tonight had not gone as I hoped. I hoped Bruce would be with me when I stepped off the elevator, but here I was alone. The weight of the business and my responsibility of being the Daughter of Life resting heavily on my shoulders. I wanted to cry, I wanted to beg that someone else be given the responsibility, knowing that I had offered before time to carry the burden. I needed sleep, I needed to escape if only for a day or two. I needed help and none was there. I sat on the bed and stared at nothing. All my life I had known what to do and now I was lost. I didn't want my daughter to be conceived in hate. I didn't know if I would have the strength to save her if she were. I sat there not seeing, not thinking, not hearing anything.

The sun started coming through the windows and I sat there. I couldn't move I knew if I tried I would break, the tears would start and I wouldn't be able to stop them.

"Connie are you up yet?" Marie said entering my room.

Up yet, I hadn't been to bed yet, as close as I had come was sitting down on the edge of the bed. I was still wearing the clothes I had worn the night before. I just stared off into nothing. I wasn't there, but I wasn't gone either. Nothing made sense to me.

"Connie?" Mom came into the room far enough to see me sitting on the bed staring at nothing. "Connie talk to me child. Tell your momma what is wrong."

I looked up at her and the tears started. I wanted to tell her how alone I felt, but nothing came out. She came over and sat by me, wrapping her arms around me, pulling my head down on her shoulder.

"Sweetheart I..." She stopped what she was going to say and just held me. The tears kept coming and coming. I could feel the love she had for me as she held me.

Antoinette came up and called for mom, she came into the room and saw her sitting on the bed with me hugged tight against her, my head buried in her shoulder. She came over and sat next to me on the other side.

"Connie I did not know. I love you sister, I love you. Mom we should talk," Antoinette said.

"Yes dear, we should," Marie said.

They sat with me for an hour before I was able to slow the tears enough to think what I was doing.

"Sweetheart, Antoinette and I need to talk can you take a bath and change, we will be back soon, then maybe it is time we talk," Marie said.

Antoinette started the water running in the tub for me. Marie sat with me running her hands through my hair, and wiping the tears from my face. I wanted to move but couldn't, nothing worked. Mom took my hand and walked me into the tub helping me get undressed along the way.

I sat in the tub soaking for I don't know how long before Marie came back in.

"Sweetheart, you need to wash sitting in the water will not get you clean," Marie said.

"Mom I showed Antoinette what will happen," I said.

"Yes, she tell me. Connie the future is not certain, you know this," Mom said.

"Yes mom I do, but always before I have seen possibilities of what will be. This there are no other possibilities. Antoinette will be the mom of my children as well as her own. She will love my husband as I do, but will deny her happiness until I am gone. Mom I am scared, not because of that, but because of other things I know will happen, trials that will try all of us. I knew the task would be difficult, no one stepped forward but me, no one. I still believe, but I feel so incapable of the task that has been given me," I said.

"You are not alone sweetheart, I am here, Antoinette is here, even your Richard will be here for you when you need him. Connie the Lord is always with you, he is with you in ways no one else can be," Mom said.

"He will leave me for a time mom, just as I was alone when I was jailed in New York, he will leave me for a time," I said.

"You have seen this?" she asked.

"Yes mom I have seen this. I will be pregnant with Marie, men will kidnap me and force me to do and say things, and the Lord will not be with me through it," I said.

"Sweetheart..." Mom started to say something.

"Mom it will be as with the Lord when he was on the cross, the Father will turn away his face from me, as the cup is poured out that will mark the time of my call. I will suffer alone as the world turns from me. Mom I pray that you will not turn from me in this time, I pray that my family will not forsake me, as I am made to suffer for what I will do here," I said.

"And what will you do here Connie? Surely the judgment you speak of will not be, you are the Chosen of God, you and you alone wear the mark of God. No one has ever worn the marks you wear, how can you say you will be punished?" she asked.

"My daughter is French as am I mom. Richard is not French, he is the papa of Marie, but he is not her father," I said.

The impact of what I just said hit home. Mom looked away, she knew what I meant now, and she didn't approve.

"Mom I want my daughter conceived in respect if not love. If I choose then the trial will be the only time I will suffer the indignity, but my daughter will be conceived in love and respect. I can live with that, I do not know if I could be strong enough if she is conceived in hate and violence," I said.

"You have chosen then?" she asked.

"Yes, I have chosen. I will go out to the ranch with you today, but I will not face Richard again until he is ready to be my husband. I will introduce you to Gwen and all but Richard, I will then take the horse that is mine and ride away for a few days. Mom I ask that you respect me in this, my time is not yet come I will be in no danger. When I see you again I will be with child, I will have conceived my Marie," I said.

Mom never said anything. I don't think she knew what to say. She knew I had Powers she would never understand, she knew I knew my end. If I knew my end I undoubtedly knew this as well.

I got out of the tub and toweled dry and got dressed.

"Mom I need to go talk to someone, when I get back we will go out to the ranch and I will introduce grand-mama and the family to grand-mama's family she has not seen for so long," I said.

"Connie tell me, will grand-mama still be here when you leave?" Mom asked.

"No mom. She will go home before I do," I said.

I went to see Bruce at the shop, and he wasn't there. There wasn't anyone there and it made no sense to me. He knew the shop now belonged to me, he also knew I planned to come by today and talk to him. So where was he? I looked around and found all the doors locked. I was going to call the office to see if they could send someone out to open the doors for me and Bruce pulled up.

"Sleep in did you?" I asked.

"Good morning. No I never get here before now. There's never been a reason to be here earlier," he said.

"I see so we don't open until noon now?" I asked.

"Connie it's eight o'clock, the sales floor opens at ten," he said.

"I see, and the reason for that is?" I asked.

"That no one shows up to even look until noon," he said.

"I want to make some changes then. Bruce I want the shop open for business no later than eight every morning, it will remain open until six Monday thru Friday. Saturday nine to five, and Sunday closed, unless we have work in the shop that needs to be done, then the shop will be open at least five hours," I said.

"We don't have the staff for those hours," he said.

"The current hours are fine thru the renovation phase, but I still want you here on time. On time is not right at eight o'clock it's not later the fifteen till eight. I know you have enough mechanic work to keep at least two men busy for a month. I want mechanics in here now, we'll pay above average wages I'll find out what that is and let you know, but I'm guessing about twenty an hour, as you said last night," I said.

"For twenty an hour I can get the top mechanics in here. What about over time?" he asked.

"Standard, whatever that is. Bruce I don't handle these things with Fashionista, I have Ellen and Antoinette for that, and I doubt they handle it either," I said.

"Just how big is Fashionista anyway?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think the last financial statement said we had something like three billion in liquid assets, with that and the non-liquid assets I believe it's around twenty billion," I said.

"I see. So this shop is now owned by a multi-billion dollar corporation," he said.

"No, I own this shop. I didn't use company money to buy it and I don't plan on using company money to run it. Bruce I am personally worth over five hundred million dollars," I said.

He whistled. "I had no idea. Connie the going rate for motorcycle mechanics around here is fifteen dollars an hour. Overtime is paid at time and a half, holidays at double time," he said.

"Fine we pay twenty and hour for great mechanics, anything less than great mechanics we don't pay anything for, I don't want anything but the best. We will take students only if they are at the top of their class and they will assist the mechanics until they have proven they can do the job. Sales personnel will be paid salary not commission, they'll start at twenty as well, bonuses will be based on performance ratings which will be conducted by people who don't work here. Even you won't know who they are, that way no one can say their rating was biased by anyone here. You will have the authority to hire and fire, no one else here will have that authority."

"Bruce, Antoinette has authority to override anything you do. I would suggest you work with her closely while she's here if you can. I don't know when she will be going back to New York," I said.

"And what about you? So far I see only you involved in this. The only time I've seen Antoinette was last night," he said.

"Antoinette is here to meet her American family. Family she didn't even know about until I came along. She won't be available until Monday at the earliest, so I'm the one you will be dealing with until then," I said.

"And if she wants to make changes to what you said?" he asked.

"Then you will make the changes, but she won't, she knows I can do this, and while she is better at it, the things I have done have made a great deal more than anything her or Ellen have done," I said.

"This isn't the first time you've done something like this, is it?" he asked.

"No it isn't. Now there was something I wanted to talk to you about, something that is not related to the shop. Bruce I want you to close the shop down for the weekend this weekend and join me at this location once you have closed for the weekend today," I said.

"This is out in the middle of nowhere," he said.

"It will be a safe place to park your truck for the weekend, and you can't get your truck into where we will be. It's a wilderness area and so it's horseback or foot only. If you're not interested let me know now," I said.

"I haven't camped out since I was a scout, it sounds nice. If I close at five I could be there about seven," he said.

"Then have someone else close or we'll be riding in the dark, something I'd rather not do. Be there by five please, I'll be waiting," I said.

I headed back to the hotel and met everyone in the restaurant having breakfast.

"Connie please join us," Grand-mama said. "Marie was telling us about you're leaving for a while, is there a reason you cannot tell us why?" Annette asked.

"Grand-mama the reason is personal, it is in part why we are here however. Grand-mama I will see that you meet your family here, all but one member of that family anyway. When it comes to Richard I cannot see him again until he is no longer married to the woman he is married to. Mom you need not worry about her as you are under my protection, but more importantly you will have with you someone even more Powerful than I am. Her Powers will be very limited while you are all there," I said. "Antoinette I need to talk to you on the way, will you ride with me?"

I ordered breakfast and we all ate thinking about what the day would bring. For grand-mama the reunion with her sister, and nieces and nephews, and their kids, which Richard was a part. For Antoinette the curiosity of just what her Power was and how it could be more Powerful than what I could do. Marie I knew was thinking of what happened in my room earlier and what it meant. Each of us wondering just what the day would bring.

"Antoinette don't let Richards wife be alone with mom. His wife is a Sister of Death, and while she has no Power against me now she is quite Powerful, more Powerful than mom," I said.

"If this is true how can I stop her, should she wish harm?" she asked.

"Your presence will give her cause to stop. Mom is use to your Power because it does not interfere with hers, both your Power and moms Powers are Powers of life. Richards wife's Powers however are death, she is familiar with moms Powers and knows how to get past them, even my Powers she knows and can find a way around. Your Powers however are something she doesn't understand any better than you do," I said.

"How can I have Power I do not know of? Connie you say I am Powerful, even more than you are, yet I do not see this Power you speak of," she said.

"You will and even then you will not know it is your Power manifest. Not until I am gone will you understand the Power that you command as such," I said.

We arrived at Richards parents and I asked Gwen if it would be okay if I took two horses and enough supplies for a week or two, once the introductions were finished.

"Connie, Richard isn't here right now, won't you please stay for a little while, at least?" Gwen asked.

"Gwen, Richard will be here soon enough and I want to be gone before he gets here. I don't need him knowing where I'm going, please you won't tell him will you?" I asked.

"No I won't tell him about you taking the horses, but he will know it's you when he sees Saturn gone," she said.

"I meant you won't tell him which way I went. Gwen, I could always head a different way, but I would rather not," I said.

"Well if we're in the house when you leave we won't know which way you went will we. No Connie, I won't tell him. I still don't understand what happened between you, but as long as neither of you are willing to talk about it there is nothing I can do, but support you as I think best," she said.

"I still love him. How much do you know about who I am Gwen?" I asked.

"Enough to know you are the Chosen, whatever that means. Connie my gift has never been something I felt strongly about, which is probably why she doesn't care one way or the other about me. Most of what I know about you is simply stories that I discounted long ago," Gwen said.

"Marie isn't that way, she knows who I am, and what I'm capable of. Richards wife won't be so blasé about her. She will know Marie the moment they meet, but with Antoinette near she will not do anything other than try getting Richard to get her away. She will feel the Power Antoinette has, but she will not understand it. Marie and Antoinette don't even realize the Power is there, because it has been there from the time Antoinette was born. Gwen even you should feel the Power of Antoinette, though you may not realize it without thinking about it," I said.

Gwen agreed to allow me the horses and supplies I asked for and helped me load one of the horses with the supplies. At first she offered a pack saddle and tried insisting I use a pack saddle rather than a riding saddle. It was because I remained insistent she relented and let me instead choose what I would take with me. Once the horse I was using as a pack horse was loaded and I said good bye to everyone I headed out going a different direction than I intended. My first objective was to get out of sight of the house as quickly as I could, hopefully before Richard got there.

As I started dropping over a hill that would hide me from view of the house I saw Richard pull up to the house. I didn't know if he had seen me, but I sped up the pace a little and once in the tree line made my turn so I could see the house without fear of being seen. I reached the stream and turned toward the forest losing sight of the house. I lead the horses up the stream for about five miles, crossing out of the stream from time to time as I came to places were the bottom was either to soft or to rocky for the horses.

When I reached the lake were Richard had built the replica of my villa in France, I turned again heading to the replica and unmounted. How easy it had been to not think about him while in France, to forget about the bond he still held to me. Now here I was looking at a small replica of my home wondering if I would be able to again forget. I stood there looking at the villa and lost track of the time.

I heard horses coming and snapped out of my thoughts. If it were Richard, and he saw me how would I explain why I had enough supplies for two people for a week. Why did I need a second riding saddle rather than a pack saddle. No I didn't need or want the kind of questions I knew I would face if Richard was one of those on the horses. As I entered into the trees again I looked back and there sitting in his saddle was Richard. The other riders didn't surprise me anymore than seeing him did. Marie sitting on a dapple, Antoinette on a roan that matched Richards for size but a much easier temperament. Philip sat on a pinto and Richards wife rode close to Richard and as far away from Antoinette as she could comfortably get and still be with the group.

"Do you see now sister? See how she avoids you," I said.

Antoinette looked directly at me and nodded. It was as though she heard me, maybe she did.

"Richard she is not here and it's getting late. It wouldn't be wise to stay to late and have to ride back in the dark," Ruth said.

Several of the others agreed and as Richard turned back toward the house, Ruth pulling up alongside him. Antoinette held back and once everyone else was out of sight she rode over to me.

"I do not know why you do this sister. I do see how she avoids me, I also see how Richard stays near me. I can understand now what you try to tell me, but I still do not see how it can be so," Antoinette said.

"So you did hear me?" I asked.

She turned and headed back in the direction everyone else had gone. "Yes I heard you and was surprised no one else did. I will see you again before I return to New York. I do not agree with what you do here, but I cannot help you find another way. I love you sister," she said.
  15. ##  Chapter 13

Antoinette unmounted when she got to the replica of the villa, and started walking through it. Richard came back looking for her, and unmounted walking to where she stood staring at the main house of the villa.

"I built this for Connie when we were just kids, she's the one who saw the detail," Richard said.

"It is like the villa she has in France. Even the house and out buildings look the same," Antoinette said.

"I've seen aerial photos of her villa. I imagine she knew one day she would have such a place Richard said."

"Richard do you know who she is?" Antoinette asked.

"Not really no. Antoinette I would never do anything to hurt her," he said.

"Is that why you marry her enemy? Richard I know you do not mean to hurt her, I do not know anyone who wish to hurt her, but you cause her the most hurt of everyone. You make for her this and when you are gone from her for a short time you choose another to be in her place," Antoinette said.

"I was trying to protect her. Antoinette I'm in the military, a special unit that has many enemies. My commander turned against the country and because I wouldn't he would have used her to get to me. I thought I was protecting her," he said.

"So he know you do not really love this woman you marry?" Antoinette asked.

"He was hoping she could have brought me around to his thinking," he said.

"He did not know Connie?" she asked.

"No, I never let anyone know about Connie, not until Ruth found out about her when I first introduced them," he said.

"We need to return before the others think we are not behaving appropriately," Antoinette said.

They walked back to their horses and mounted, turning toward the house.

I found the place I intended to make camp and got everything set up. I checked the saddles on both horses and headed for where I told Bruce I would meet him.

A truck pulled into the lot and parked, I held back in the woods where I would be hard to see. Bruce got out the drivers side and someone else got out the passenger side. They talked for a little and the passenger climbed in the driver seat and started the truck. As they pulled out of the parking area I rode in.

"How do you plan on getting back now?" I asked.

"I thought I could ride back with you," Bruce said.

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression Bruce, but when it's time to go back I need to return the horses, having you with when I do would cause questions I'd rather not have to answer," I said.

"I guess I could call my sister when I need to get picked up," he said.

"Bruce how do you propose to do that there are no pay phones around here and no cell towers either. Don't worry I have a way but it will again pose questions I hoped to avoid, though I would have had to answer them eventually," I said.

"Can I ask what this is all about?" he asked.

"Sure, I need someone who is French to give me a daughter. I was given a couple different ways of that happening and I chose respect rather than rape. Bruce you don't have to agree to this if you would rather not," I said.

"Connie do they have to be French as in pure French?" he asked.

"You don't think you're fully French do you?" I asked.

"No, Connie I am sorry if I lead you to believe I am. My family is half French and half Belgium. Both sides are French speaking, but only half is French," he said.

"We can talk about it tonight and see if that is something that can be worked around. My understanding is that French Belgium came about because some who are French didn't like the French monarchy. If that is true what I'm asking is still possible," I said.

"I guess you have a way of finding out? Even out here in the middle of nowhere," he said.

I smiled and he mounted up. We headed for the camp I had set up. I didn't tell Bruce I had already checked to insure he was French I didn't see the point. When push came to shove we were all just people. Richard could have been Marie's father, but I knew I couldn't bare that kind of intimacy with Richard knowing he was married to someone else. Bruce wasn't married so the sting of being that intimate didn't seem as great.

We arrived in the camp and hobbled the horses so they wouldn't go far but could still, if needed escape trouble. I built the fire back up and got out the pans.

"Bruce could you go get some water? The stream is about twenty-five yards in that direction," I pointed off to the east.

He picked up the bucket and headed for the sound of the stream.

"Connie how long are we going to be here?" he asked.

"We'll move to another spot tomorrow. I picked this spot because it was close enough to the highway we could make it here before dark, yet far enough away not to hear the traffic from the highway," I said.

"You've been here before?" he asked.

"I used to come out here all the time when I was younger," I said.

"With Richard?" he asked.

He came back the bucket full of water. As he set the bucket down he looked over at me daring me to say no it hadn't been with Richard.

"Yes with Richard. Bruce are you afraid Richard will spy on us?" I asked.

"I know he's in town. Did you know he's a sheriffs deputy now?" he asked.

"No I didn't. I did know he was still attached to the military unit he was in. I didn't know he was inactive though," I said.

"Word is he left the military," Bruce said.

"That may be, but if so the word on the street is wrong. He's the commanding officer of that special unit, no way they are letting him out," I said.

So he was working on a cover story to hide his unit. I wondered how he would manage to have his unit train, or how he would handle things if his unit was called on for a mission. I guess it really didn't matter, as long as he was married to someone else he was out of my reach.

In the morning we moved to another location I thought would give us more privacy. I wanted to have things perfect, I wanted to forget Richard for a weekend and at every turn was confronted with memories of him. I knew this forest, it had always seemed a place to escape the cares of the world, now though it brought the part of the world I wanted most to forget crashing in like never before. It was Richard who showed this forest to me. It was camping trips with him and his family that I come to love this place, now it was a place of torture to me, in that I couldn't escape the memories.

At the new camp site Bruce and I talked some more and again Richard intruded on the conversation.

"Connie you said you know Richard is still in the military, and is even a commander of a special unit. If he is how can he be a sheriffs deputy too? How can you know that if it's a secret?" Bruce asked.

I knew Richard hadn't given up trying to find out what I was up to, going off into the woods alone like I had. I knew because I spotted him trailing Bruce and I while we moved to the new camp.

"You care to answer that for him Richard?" I asked.

"Not really. So how many people have you told Connie?" Richard asked.

"Does it really matter? What is it, if I want privacy from you I have to go back to France? What difference does it make what I do Richard? I gave you your freedom, freedom you haven't given me. Freedom you'll never give me will you?" I asked.

He sat there on his horse just looking at me.

"Tell me Richard is your wife frustrated with the protection I gave before coming on this trip?" I asked.

"She said it wasn't you, it felt all wrong to have been you, but couldn't figure out who or what it was," he said.

"It was your third wife Richard. You see you will choose good over evil the next two times. You will choose God, or at least I hope you will," I said.

"So are you going to tell me who it was then?" he asked.

"Why should I? Will you tell Bruce how I know about you and your military connections? You know when this is all over Bruce won't remember much of it and the part about you, he will remember nothing of," I said.

"Bruce, Connie knows because the truth can't be hidden from her and we have already talked since she got here. Everything she told you is true, I am the commander of a special military unit called Deaths Mistress. The job with the sheriff's department is a cover. One Connie, that Ruth believes to be true as well. You on the other hand I wouldn't try using a cover with," Richard said.

"I know you wouldn't Richard, I know you wouldn't because you know it wouldn't work with me," I said.

"Bruce I need some time alone with Richard, would you mind? There's a fishing pole in my saddle bag and if memory serves the stream's over there," I pointed to the southeast, "and has some really nice cutthroat trout in it. It would be nice to have some for dinner tonight," I said.

Bruce got the tackle out of my saddle bag and headed off for the stream.

"I knew you would find me Richard," I said.

"Care to tell me what this is all about? Do you love him Connie?" Richard asked.

"Do I love him. No Richard, I don't love him, but I do respect him. As for what this is about I don't know if I can tell you, at least not so you could understand," I said.

"Why don't you try? Connie you know I never meant to hurt you, so is this your way of not hurting me? Is that what this is about, because if it is, it hurts like hell," he said.

"Richard I love you in ways you can't begin to understand, in ways I can't understand. No, this isn't a way of not hurting you, it is however a way for me to have a daughter," I said.

"A daughter who isn't mine. And I'm not supposed to be hurt?" he asked.

"If that were true, no, I would fully understand you being hurt, but since you are her father and her papa I don't see why you should be hurt. Richard only one man will ever have me as his wife, and that man will be the father of both my children," I said.

I touched his hand and asked if he understood what I said. He looked around and gasped, we were no longer in the camp surrounded by forest.

"Do you remember this place Richard?" I asked.

"It's the villa I built you when we were just kids," he said.

"No Richard this isn't that villa, this is the villa I own in France. This is my home, the home my children will grow up in," I said.

"There's no one here," he said.

"We're here," I said.

He wrapped his arms around me. "How? Connie is this the here and now? How did we get here if it is?" he asked.

"Let me show you around. I know you know this place the model you built is very much the same, even the furniture looks much the same as what we put in the model. Richard this is home, here you and I are together, here we are one. Here you are my husband," I held up my hand to show the ring on my finger. "What happens here will affect our lives, but you won't remember until I have gone home to be with my father," I said.

I turned in his arms, as I looked up at him he leaned over and kissed me.

"Mmm, I am so glad you are here. I didn't think we would ever find a way of being alone," he said.

I had tried to deceive him, I didn't realize just how much this place would affect him and what he believed. To him we were married already. To him Marie had already been born even though tonight was the night I would conceive her. I lead him to the bedroom where Marie and our son would be conceived. We enjoyed the time we shared basking in each others love. Here the world was right, the pain was gone, and the man who meant more to me than life was holding me, content to know everything was as it was meant to be.

"Are you hungry Richard?" I asked.

"Famished, here let me give you a hand with that," he said.

He took over the cooking of the fish Bruce caught.

"Bruce I think because of how late it's getting we should spend the night tonight and head out tomorrow. Since Richard is here I think it would only be hospitable to offer him a place to sleep so he won't have to ride back in the dark," I said.

"I agree Connie, if it gets dark here the way it did last night trying to find a way out would be dangerous," Bruce said.

"Thanks I hadn't planned on being here this late. My wife is probably worried sick, though this isn't the first time I've been out late and had to spend the night rather than risk getting back in the dark. If it's okay I'll put my bedroll in that tent with Bruce, is that okay with you Bruce?" Richard asked.

"That's fine with me. So did you two have a nice talk while I was fishing?" Bruce asked.

"We got a lot of things settled. Everything will work out as it should, won't it Richard?" I asked.

In the morning we headed back to the ranch, before getting there Richard cut off the trail and said he hoped to see me again soon. I smiled and told him I'd be in town a few more weeks and he was free to look me up if he wanted and if he was at his folks I wouldn't go out of my way to duck him again.

As Bruce and I rode into the ranch Marie gave us both a dirty look, and demand to talk to me.

"Mom please let me make arrangements for Bruce to get home then we can talk," I said.

I walked Bruce over to the car and gave the driver instructions that once he dropped Bruce off he should return to the ranch. "Bruce I'll see you in the morning, please don't be late," I said.

I walked back over to Marie and stood there waiting for her to say something before I said anything.

"So did you accomplish what you desire?" Marie asked.

"And what is it you believe I desire mom? What is it you think I have done? Look I still wear the mark of the Daughter, the mark of the Sister is still as dark. So tell me mom in what way have I sinned against God?" I asked.

She looked at my arm and looked in my eyes. "You are with child and unmarried, yet your birthright is not marred. How can this be?" she asked.

"God is gracious in ways we do not understand. His mercy is beyond comprehension to our limited knowledge. God's plan will unfold as God decrees, and man cannot judge what he does not understand," I said.

"I am not worthy of this knowledge?" Mom asked.

"Mom it is not that you are unworthy. For what purpose would this knowledge benefit you? Am I less for your lack of understanding? Am I not still your daughter? Mom, the child knows her papa, and her momma, a time will come that understanding will again cause you trouble yet it is not for you to know until the time is right. Can you accept this?" I asked.

"The things of God are a mystery in the sight of man. I believe in time God will give understanding of his own accord. Forgive me my doubt, the knowledge of this child has blinded me," Mom said.

"You are always forgiven mom. Never will there be a time I will not forgive you. I did not wish this to be as it is. Trouble is not far away and this child is a girl child. I wish to share your name with her, it would be a great honor for me and for her to share her grand-mama's name," I said.

"You would honor me so? Sweetheart I am not worthy of such honor," Marie said.

"She will be the last to bare the mark of the Daughter, mom I can think of no one who is more worthy than is my mom and my aunt. Her name will be Marie Monique," I said.

Marie and I visited for a while longer with Gwen and her family that were at the house. I had a few things I needed to tend to and when the car returned I excused myself.

Getting the motorcycle shop set up consumed so much time over the next few weeks. I wanted to over see Bruce's interviews of prospective employees and that took several hours as it seemed we had people crawling out of the walls hoping to get one of the jobs we had available. I figured on an additional twenty million dollars to bring the shop up to what I wanted and within two weeks raised that closer to thirty million. The twenty million would have been ample had so many things been as they should have, but Mark let things become so rundown I was hoping thirty million was going to be enough. I knew I could recover the sixty million I originally planned on within the first three years, maybe enough time for me to see the shop go into the black. Now I wasn't sure it would be able to be profitable by the time Antoinette would close down all Fashionista operations in the United States.

By the end of the first week I knew we were going to need to have separate buildings for the show room and the shop. I started thinking of what I wanted to do there and contacted several contractors. As I tried to explain what it was I wanted several of them would turn to Bruce looking for conformation. With each contractor we set an unwritten rule that if they turned to Bruce they were out right from the start. By mid week the second week there were three contractors left. I started giving more detail about what I expected and the time table I wanted it done in and had one of the three walk out saying I was asking the impossible.

Both of the two left assured me they could meet my time frame, but only one said they could do it meeting the other requirements I set. I told both once the contract was set I would expect the job to be finished on time and if it didn't fit my specifications they would fix whatever was not right on their dime not mine. They both got up to walk out and I asked why.

"Miss Carlson you really are asking the impossible here," one of them said and walked out.

"I'm sorry Miss Carlson I don't have the overhead to meet your requirements. I would love the chance to do this, but I just don't have the capital," the only contractor left said.

Money was the issue it seemed, they didn't think I had the money to finance this project and rather than take the chance and accept the job they were willing to walk away.

"How much is your company worth?" I asked.

"Not enough to take a loss should anything go wrong here. I couldn't absorb that kind of cost," he said.

"Give me a dollar amount to buy your company," I said.

"Miss Carlson my company is not for sale," he said.

"You are the last contractor standing here, you feel the risk of me changing something at the last minute is too high to take the chance on working with me, so give me a dollar amount to take that risk off your mind. I'm talking buying your company to get this done, at the end of this job I am willing to sell your company back to you for the same price I pay to make this a go," I said.

He thought about it for a few minutes. He wanted the job, he needed the job, but the risk involved...

"Five million," he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson I've done some checking and I know you are worth that and more, but I also know you have tapped out you liquid assets in buying this place and getting it where it is now," he said.

I picked up the phone and dialed.

" _Antoinette,_ _is_ _there_ _sufficient_ _liquid_ _capital_ _in_ _the_ _company_ _to_ _spend_ _five_ _million_ _dollars_ _for_ _the_ _purchase_ _of_ _a_ _construction_ _company_?" I asked.

"Connie what is going on? Why are you using French? We are in America, using French to do business in America is not good," Antoinette said.

" _Yes,_ _I_ _know_ _that,_ _but_ _I_ _want_ _what_ _I_ _say_ _to_ _be_ _private_ _between_ _us_ ," I said.

"Yes there is more than ten times that in liquid assets," she said.

I thanked her and hung up.

"Mr Allen I am offering you ten million dollars for your construction company right now," I said.

"Miss Carlson like I said I've done some checking and you don't have that kind of liquid capital," he said.

"You're right Mr Allen I don't personally have that much in liquid assets, but my offer still stands, and if you are not willing to take it you will lose out and I will bring in a company from out-of-state that I know will do this my way. So here is the deal you can accept the contract, sell me your company for double what you said it's worth or I bring in a construction company from out-of-state. Which will it be? Before you answer I do have the liquid capital to make such an offer, I just don't have it personally, and because of that while I would own your company I wouldn't be able to let you buy it back since it would become a subsidiary of my parent corporation," I said.

He thought he had done some checking and now he wasn't sure. He knew I had the liquid capital to do the job I was asking but enough to...

"Your parent corporation? Just what corporation would that be?" he asked.

"Your answer Mr Allen," I said.

Ten million dollars started sounding very good to him, but to sell his company? His company wasn't worth half that but it was his.

"How much say would I have if I agreed to the sale?" he asked.

"How much would you need?" I asked.

"So you wouldn't just kick me out on the street like you did the guy you bought this place from?" he asked.

"Your answer Mr Allen," I said.

"I... I need some time to think about it," he said.

"Mr Allen I know your company is in trouble, how much I don't know, but when my phone rings I will. Not only will I know I will know the actual worth of your company. You give me the answer before that and we have a deal with you staying in change, but only as long as you do things according to corporate designs for the company. You deviate from our corporate policies and you will find yourself looking for a new job," I said.

"You said ten million right? You don't give me much choice. Agreed," he said.

"Thank you Mr Allen, I'll have that check waiting for you along with the contract by the time you can get to my Fashionista offices here. Mr Allen one more thing I want the new showroom here started by the first of the week and I want it open in six months," I said.

"Yes Miss Carlson. I'll have all the equipment brought in this weekend so Monday morning we can break ground, if we can get the permits that soon. I'll file for them this afternoon," he said.

"Thank you Norm. I think you made a wise decision. The permits won't be a problem they are already issued and just need to be picked up," I said.

He gave me a strange look and left. I knew he was wondering how I could have already filed for the permits when I didn't have a construction company selected. I knew he would wonder even more when he picked up the permits and saw his companies name was on them as the general contractor, but that was no longer an issue I cared to think about.

"Bruce I want the sales part of the shop closed this weekend. I know we have commitments in the repair shop, but I would rather not have any unnecessary personnel here when the contractor is bringing in their equipment. We'll be starting construction on the new showroom Monday morning," I said.

I didn't wait for an answer from him, he had shown already that he would follow such instructions. I also knew he would see to it the mechanics who would be working over the weekend parked where their vehicles would be out-of-the-way while the construction site was set up.

I wanted to return home again before the meeting in New York, but I still had so much to do here. I wanted to be sure the construction got started, and didn't make too much of a mess for the sales and repair of the bikes we had. It seemed everyday we had more and more people bringing us their bikes to work on. I started looking into the bikes we sold already and those we didn't. If there was another manufacturer out there that sold better bikes I wanted to know and see what it would take to start selling it in our store. We already carried two brands and I saw at least two other brands I wanted to start carrying, with Marie's help we started finding out what it would take to get them and be able to compete with anyone in the area who may have already been selling them.

I started looking at buying another location we could set up a sales and repair shop, figuring on making it the other brands when we were able to close a deal on getting them. After a month we had the deal but I'd only been able to find somewhere we could lease not buy. I went ahead and signed the lease and started getting things set up when the people I signed the lease with backed out of the lease. About the same time the property across the street came available to buy so bought it through Fashionista and leased it to the bike shop. I had Norm bring in a construction crew there as well to get a building that would be big enough to have a shop as big as the old place had along with a sales floor equal in size to what he was building already.

After another week I had to go, I knew I was pushing things if I hoped to go home before New York, and knowing what was going to happen once that meeting was over I really wanted to go home. I turned everything over to Bruce and Norm, and let them know if they ran into any problems to get in touch with Sam the head of the Fashionista office there, she would be able to get Antoinette or me regardless of where we might be around the world.

"Mom I need to go home until the meeting," I said.

"I know sweetheart. I have seen there will be trouble in New York after this meeting, maybe if I talk to Antoinette and Ellen we can move this meeting to Paris and the trouble will not come," she said.

"No, mom the trouble will come in Paris as well. It will be better to leave the meeting in New York," I said.

Marie wanted to stay and give her mom more time with her family. I think in part she wanted to hear more of the stories about Richard and I when we were children. Stories Gwen loved to tell and my mother hated telling. Mother and Marie didn't really get along, and when Marie found out mother was marrying Monique's brother it made matters worse not better. To Marie I was her daughter, a daughter she didn't want to share. The fact I had been born in America and raised to be an American grated deeply. That I knew English wasn't a problem Marie insisted her children learn it just as her mother had done before her. The problem was that Antoinette was Marie's only child, and when it turned out she wasn't the Daughter of Life it hurt. Marie was the strongest Sister of Life in two generations, and it was generally believed that because of her strength as a Sister she would be the mother of the Chosen, my mother.

The conflict came in my mother not relinquishing parental rights and giving them over to Marie. That I had accepted Marie as my mom made it easier for Marie, but my mother still had a part of me Marie didn't. She had my growing up years.

That first night when I made arrangements for everyone to meet I asked Gwen to share everything with Marie. I even encouraged Marie to talk to Richard and learn what she could from him, since he would be the only husband I would ever have.

I left for home a week before I needed to be in New York for the business meeting with Antoinette and Ellen. Before leaving I looked for Richard, I needed to talk to him about Philip. Papa wanted to learn how cattle were worked in America, and if he would be able to do it. Back home in France he was always told he was to small to work with the cows, and he had seen a couple of men working the cattle here who were smaller than he was.

" _My_ _love,_ _I_ _need_ _to_ _talk_ _with_ _you_ ," I said.

"It's a pleasure to see you too Connie. What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

" _Dad_ _wants_ _to_ _learn_ _to_ _work_ _with_ _cows._ _Sweetheart_ _in_ _France,_ _he_ _is_ _considered_ _too_ _small_ ," I said.

"I see and you hope I will help him. Why? Connie, why should I help him learn he is only to small if he thinks he is. Please answer in English not French."

"I know he isn't to small but he doesn't, he has always been told he is. Richard I'm asking you to help him please, not for me, but for Antoinette. He needs what you can give, I have about one hundred head at my villa and Philip wants to help, the men I have won't give him the time of day," I said.

"He is your papa isn't he? I know Jim was your father, but Philip is your papa," he said.

"Yes. Papa needs your help Richard. Will you please help him?" I asked.

"Connie I would have agreed without you asking. I talked to Philip a week ago and we have been working together since," he said.

"Thank you very much Richard. Thank you," I said.

"Connie, is everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes, everything is fine Richard. I am going home for a week before I have to go to New York. I need to release some more new fashions. The motorcycle shop is costing me more than I hoped, but it will turn around soon," I said,

"When are you leaving? Connie I filed for a divorce last week. I was hoping maybe we could get together..." he started.

"Richard save your money you won't need a divorce lawyer or a divorce for that matter, before long. We can talk then. I do have a personal request, Richard will you pray for me? When the time comes, will you pray for me?" I asked.

"I always pray for you, but that isn't what you mean is it? Connie what is it? What are you so afraid of?" he asked.

"Please pray for me Richard. I can't ask more than that, and I can't tell you more than that," I said.

I turned and walked away. I knew he prayed for me, but I knew it had been a very long time since I'd asked him, or anyone to pray for me. He was right I was scared. I was two and a half months pregnant with our daughter and knew some time in the next month hell would be cast at me from every side. I knew the trial ahead and it terrified me. I was sure I would be restricted from the gift I had, I didn't know when I would again have access to it, but knew even then I wouldn't use it. Would they break me or would the knowledge be able to sustain me so I would be able to endure? I needed those I knew to pray for me, to pray I would have the strength I would need to do what was right.

I flew home on a commercial flight, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I wanted to be able to forget even if only for a short time the trouble I knew was coming. At the airport I cleared through the security showing my French passport. The security looked at me and back at my passport. They acted as though something was wrong, as though I was a criminal of some sort.

"I'm sorry Mrs Carlson, but we need to have you stand over here," the security person said.

"It is Miss Carlson not Mrs. is there a problem?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson please if you will stand over here someone will be with you shortly," they said.

I watched as the time started ticking away, I had allowed two hours for my flight and if these people delayed me much longer I would miss it and have to wait who knew how much longer before another one would be available. Someone came walking by.

"Excuse me. Excuse me, but if we can't speed this up I'll miss my flight," I said.

"Miss Carlson," someone said from behind me. I turned and there stood someone I hadn't seen since I made a dress for them seven years earlier.

"Mrs Nolan, can I ask what is going on here? My flight leaves in thirty minutes," I said.

"Can I see your passport Connie?" I handed her my passport and waited as she looked it over. "Connie this is a French passport," she said.

"Is there a problem with it? The last I check I was a French citizen," I said.

"Our records show you as being an American citizen," she said.

"I was born here in America, but I have moved to France and changed my citizenship. If there is a problem, tell me what it is and I'll see what I can do to get it corrected," I said.

"Connie we can't let you board that plane until we have this problem resolved," she said.

"Ruth do you really think if I want to board that plane you or any of the security people here could stop me?" I asked.

"What is that suppose to mean Connie?" she asked.

"Ruth it means just what it sounds like it means. Do you have any idea who I am? Or do you think I am still that silly little girl who made great clothes at a ridiculously low price?" I asked.

"I know who you are, I also know what our system shows. Connie unless you have an American passport we have been instructed to not let you board any international flights from this, or any other airport," she said.

"In that case I wish to make a phone call. I am a French citizen and I will use my French passport, if that means I have to call the French consulate so be it, but I will not use ID from a country I do not call home," I said.

She escorted me to an office and pointed to the phone. "Suit yourself Connie, I can assure you though you won't be getting on any international flights from this, or any other airport in this country without American identification," she said.

I called the office and told them to get a hold of the French consulate for me and let them know I was being detained because I refused to recognize my American citizenship since I received my French citizenship.

Five minutes later I had five security people escorting me to my plane while Ruth called the gate and told them not to let the plane leave until I was on board.

"You see Ruth detaining me as you did, did not stop me from making my flight, instead all it did was make you look like a fool," I said.

"You knew this would happen did you? And if you had missed this flight what do you think you would have accomplished?" she asked.

"I would have accomplished proving I am French, not American, just as I did while still being able to make my flight. So you know Ruth I won't be flying commercial ever again, I wanted to let my flight crew have some time in New York which is the only reason I'm flying commercial now," I said.

"Your flight crew. Connie I seriously doubt you have a flight crew," she said.

"You ever heard of Fashionista fashions? I'm the CEO, you ever get the chance look it up you'll see I don't play games and when someone tries playing them with me they do wish they hadn't," I said.

"I don't believe you Connie Carlson. No one who knew so little about business could do what you say you are doing," she said.

"Goodbye Ruth, you were messing with the wrong person," I said.

I got to the gate and the flight was still there waiting on me. As I past through the jet-way the flight attendant showed me to my seat and smiled.

"Miss Carlson it is a pleasure to welcome you on our flight. If there is anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable, let us know," she said.

"Thank you very much, I see that there are several open seats here, is there a reason?" I asked.

"Yes Miss, the flight is not full and this is all the people who have first class seats," she said.

I looked toward the back of the plane and saw how crowded the rest of the plane was.

"Excuse me, you want to make this flight more enjoyable for me, you see that family there," I pointed at a family with four small children, "have them join me here and the flight will be perfect," I said.

The attendant smiled and started to tell me they didn't have first class tickets and saw the marks on my arm. "I will bring them at once mademoiselle," she said.

As the people were getting settled the woman looked at me, and turned away. I smiled as she busied herself getting the children settled and buckled in for takeoff.

"I hope you don't mind moving at the last minute like this. I didn't want to be alone here all the way to New York," I said.

The lady looked at me again this time smiling and taking a seat leaving one open between her and I.

"I don't mind, I think the kids will enjoy it better up here, it isn't near as crowded, but I have to wonder why us?" she asked.

"Why not you? I saw how you sandwiched your oldest daughter between you and your husband. I found it curious when all the other children were allowed to sit by themselves," I said.

"He isn't my daughter, and he isn't a girl, he just wishes he were," she said.

"Do you mind if I talk to her during the flight?" I asked.

"I told you that's a boy not a girl," she said.

"Yes I heard what you said, but that didn't answer my question about talking to her," I said.

"Sure you can talk to him if you want, but I do ask you not encourage the notion about him being a girl not a boy," she said.

"I would never encourage anything that weren't true ma'am," I said.

Once we were in the air I moved over to the seat next to the girl.

"Hi, my name is Connie, may I ask yours?" I asked.

"My name's Connie too," she said.

"Well Connie it is a pleasure to meet you," I said.

"I heard her tell you I'm not a girl," Connie said.

"Is it true? Are you a boy or a girl?" I asked.

"I wish I was a girl," Connie said.

"Take my hand so we can talk more privately," I said.

She took my hand thinking perhaps I would lead her somewhere else where maybe we wouldn't be heard. I stepped through the veil and she gasped.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"We are still on the plane in the seats we were in, but we are somewhere else too. You don't need to worry no one can hear you here, but me and God," I said.

She looked at herself more closely, realizing in this place she was a girl, everything was as it should be, not wrong the way it was before.

"I'm a real girl here," she gasped.

"Connie here you see things as they really are. Nothing can be hidden here for God is here, and he sees everything," I said.

"He does? I guess he knows everything about me too, doesn't he?" she asked.

I giggled. "Yes he does. He made you to be perfect, and this is who you are where corruption doesn't exist," I said.

"So I really am a girl?" she said.

"It appears so. Connie it is because of you I asked those you are with join me in first class on the airplane," I said.

"Because of me?" she asked.

"Yes because of you. Connie when we go back so the others can hear us you can go back as you are here, if you'd like," I said.

"But how? I have a stupid boy body there," she said.

"The how is God. He is offering you this gift, the gift to be the girl you are now for all eternity," I said.

She looked up at me tears running down both cheeks. She knew the truth about who she was and if she accepted this gift that was being offered she would have the chance of having a family of her own one day, the chance of being a mother. She hugged me and buried her face in my shoulder as the tears started rolling even faster down her cheeks. After a few moments the tears let up and she stepped back.

"I would like that more than anything. I know God could make it be real, but there is a reason I was born the way I was. I know God doesn't give this kind of chance to everyone and I don't know why he is giving it to me," she said.

"Before you choose, I want to show you something. What I am going to show you is only possibilities, not what has to be, only what could be depending on the choices you make in your life," I said.

In the possibilities that came out for her to see starting with if she chose to accept. There was a woman giving birth to a baby who appeared to be handicapped. The child's left arm was not fully developed being shorter than the right arm, and the hand less developed with no finger separation. As we watched the woman took the child in her arms and held it close. The malformed arm didn't matter to this woman, what mattered was the child was alive and healthy in every other respect.

"That woman is me isn't it?" she asked.

"Look Connie," I said.

The scene changed this time another woman giving birth to what appeared to be the same child. This woman turned away from the baby. She saw only the defective arm and turned away in disgust.

"Why does she turn away like that? That baby is so beautiful, can't she see the beauty?" Connie asked.

"Look at the left arm Connie," I said.

"But the baby is so beautiful. Look that man..." she said.

She now understood that in both scenes she was the loving caring person, the person who saw beyond the defect and found the beauty in the life.

The scene changed again and this time an elderly woman lay in her death bed. A young woman was sitting there beside her a small child sitting on the young woman's lap. "Mrs Haman? I'm here Mrs Haman," the young woman said.

"Yes I see and you have little Johnny with you. You always bring such a joy to my heart dear," the old woman said.

The older woman lay her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes, a big smile on her face letting the world know her last few moments of life had been full of joy at the sight of the young woman and her baby.

The scene started to replay yet again and Connie asked it be stopped.

"Please I don't want to see what happens if I'm not there. She was so pretty because I was there I don't want her to die alone," Connie said.

We were back in the airplane with Connie looking at me with tears running down both cheeks.

"Thank you Miss Carlson. Thank you for asking God to heal me," she said.

I smiled and touched her cheek. "Connie, you asked God for this gift. When you looked up as I entered the plane I knew he wanted you to understand what it was you were asking. I was able to show you that, but it was you who asked not me," I said.

"Are you okay Connie?" the mother asked.

"Yes ma'am, I am fine," Connie said.

The woman looked at me strangely and shrugged taking her seat. Connie smiled and thanked me again for the opportunity to sit up in first class.

"What did you say to her, Miss Carlson is it?" the mother asked.

"Yes, that is my name. I didn't really say anything to her why?" I asked.

"Then why was she crying?" she asked.

"Why don't you ask her? I'm sure those tears weren't out of anguish, but rather joy," I said.

I sat back and closed my eyes. The flight attendant came by soon after and I asked her to let me know when we were an hour out of New York.

" _I'm_ _sorry_ _Miss_ _Carlson,_ _but_ _we_ _have_ _been_ _diverted_ _to_ _Washington_ _DC,_ _New_ _York_ _was_ _having_ _an_ _issue_ _with_ _some_ _of_ _its_ _runways_ _and_ _all_ _flights_ _were_ _diverted_ _to_ _other_ _airports_ ," the flight attendant said.

" _Just_ _let_ _me_ _know_ _when_ _we_ _are_ _an_ _hour_ _from_ _landing,_ _and_ _could_ _you_ _check_ _on_ _the_ _status_ _of_ _my_ _connection_ _to_ _Paris_ _as_ _well_ , thank you," I said.

I leaned my seat back and closed my eyes. The flight to Paris I hoped would depart as soon as possible once I was on board.

"Miss Carlson?" Connie asked.

I opened my eyes and Connie was sitting there staring at me. "Yes Connie, what is it?" I asked.

"Did I wake you? I didn't mean to, Mrs Corker wouldn't like it if I woke you," she said.

"It's okay Connie, you didn't wake me I just like to rest and let my mind wander when I fly. Whenever I use my company plane to fly I lay down while in the air," I said.

"You have your own plane?" she asked.

"My company has about ten aircraft, seven airplanes and three helicopters," I said.

"You're rich aren't you?" she asked.

"Connie I'm not rich because of my company, but because of my family and friends," I said.

"I don't understand," she said.

"My company is worth a lot of money, so yes I am rich as the world see riches. To me though money is just money, I didn't grow up with a lot of money so I learned to get the most I could for what money I had. When I graduated high school I learned my father had a company that was worth a great deal of money and did business around the world. Because of dad I now live in Paris, France," I said. "My true wealth though isn't something most know how to measure. My true wealth is my mom and sister who are from France. My birth mother and half brother and sister, who accept me just because I'm me. My friends who I know I can count on if ever there is something I need. You see Connie, I am wealthy but not so much in the way you were thinking, but I do have an abundance there as well."

"Cool, I wanted to ask if I decided right earlier," she said.

"Do you wish you hadn't made that choice? Connie the choice was yours to make, it was an answer to prayers you have been praying for a very long time, isn't it?" I asked.

"I never thought God would answer my prayers this way. I kind of gave up on having that prayer answered until I was grown up and had enough money to afford the surgery," she said.

"Do you see these birthmarks on my arm?" I asked.

"I was wondering what they were. Mrs Corker thinks they're tattoos," she said.

I laughed. "No they aren't tattoos. They are birthmarks, and have been there since I was born. I want you to watch them and take my hand again," I said.

As soon as she touched my hand the upper birthmark flared.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" she asked.

"No, you didn't hurt me, any time I touch my gift, my birthmarks flare like that. Connie I was born for a special time, this time, when the Lord is about to return in all his glory. The gift I was given is the gift of life. The top mark says I was born a Daughter of Life, while the bottom one marks me as a Sister of Life. In all of history there is only one who will wear both marks, and her time marks the end of time and the return of the Lord of Life. In the time of the Chosen of God there will be another who is her sister, both in this life and the life before time. Look therefore for the one who bares the mark of Life in its fullness, for in her time the Daughter of Love will be seen as well," I said.

"You're the Chosen of God aren't you? That's why you have those marks, isn't it?" she asked.

The flight attendant came up. " _Miss_ _Carlson_ _the_ _captain_ _said_ _we_ _will_ _be_ _landing_ _in_ _time_ _for_ _you_ _to_ _catch_ _the_ _flight_ _out_ _of_ _DC_ _to_ _Paris,_ _and_ _we_ _are_ _about_ _an_ _hour_ _out_ _of_ _DC_."

" _Thank_ _you_ _very_ _much!_ _Do_ _you_ _know_ _if_ _arrangements_ _have_ _been_ _made_ _for_ _me_ _to_ _catch_ _that_ _flight_?" I asked.

" _Yes_ _Miss_ _they_ _have,_ _the_ _departure_ _gate_ _will_ _be_ _gate_ _sixteen,_ " the flight attendant said.

" _Thank_ _you_ _very_ _much_!" I said.

"Is that French?" Connie asked.

"Yes, yes it is. I grew up here in America, but I moved to France about two years ago and have changed my citizenship to France. I figured if I was going to live in France and be a French citizen I should know the language," I said.

Connie giggled. "I guess that makes sense. I wish I knew French, I think it is a very beautiful language," she said.

"Take my hand and I'll teach you." She took my hand again and I let the Power of my gift flow into her. I saw her eyes light up as understanding came to her. " _Honey,_ _from_ _now_ _on_ _you_ _will_ _know_ _French_ _as_ _if_ _it_ _were_ _your_ _native_ _language._ _To_ _answer_ _your_ _question_ _before_ _the_ _flight_ _attendant_ _came,_ _Yes,_ _I_ _am_ _the_ _Chosen_ _of_ _God,_ _I_ _was_ _chosen_ _for_ _this_ _time_ _before_ _the_ _beginning_ _of_ _time._ _Do_ _you_ _understand_?" I asked.

" _Yes_ _I_ _understand,_ " she said.

She had so many questions, so the remainder of the flight we talked exclusively in French. As we made the final approach to land I asked her to keep me in her prayers. She promised me she would, that she would never forget me and always remember to ask God to watch out for me so nothing bad would ever happen.

I gave her a hug as we stood to leave the plane, thanking her for her prayers.

"Excuse me Miss Carlson is it. I couldn't help over hearing you and Connie talking. I've known Connie her whole life and I know she doesn't understand French, but that is the language you were speaking wasn't it?" Mrs Corker asked.

"Yes it is Mrs Corker. Connie is not a silly little girl as it seems you think. I must ask that you not be over zealous with her, she has a great capacity for love, but it could easily be put out and that would be a real shame," I said.

I saw what Connie had seen, and recognized who the older woman was. I knew telling Mrs Corker what had happened, why it was Connie had been crying wouldn't be wise, but I hoped what Connie saw was what would be. So many things that could happen, yet I knew Connie would love always.

"Mrs Corker. What is going to happen with Connie?" I asked.

"My husband and I will do what we can for her. When I said I wasn't her mother I didn't lie, I'm not, but I am her only living relative now. Her father was my older brother," she said.

"She loves you very much. The other children, they are yours and you husbands?" I asked.

"Miss Carlson we don't have a lot of money and the money my brother left is what paid for us to go get my niece and bring her back. The problem now is, we are in DC not New York, and our car is in New York. I don't know what we're going to do now," she said.

"You could put your trust in God," I said.

"I trust God, but that doesn't give me the money to get from here to New York," she said.

I took out my phone and called the New York office. After a few minutes I told Mrs Corker not to worry, arrangements were being made to get them home, and see they had enough to make life a little easier. I looked out the window and there sitting on the tarmac was one of the Fashionista helicopters with the blades just starting.

"Excuse me are one of you Mrs Corker?" someone asked.

Mrs Corker turned to me and started to say something. "Mrs Corker take care of Connie, learn to love as she does," I said.

I walked down to gate sixteen and arrived just as they started loading passengers. I held back letting everyone else get on ahead of me. I watched as an older couple worked their way up to the door and passed through. It was obvious the man had trouble moving, but he was there for his wife every step of the way. Just as they were passing out of view a young girl offered them her help. The relief that was visible in how the man stood once the young woman had taken the weight off him showed just how much his wife needed help walking. The young woman wasn't wearing a uniform and I guessed her to likely be their granddaughter. As I stepped into the plane I spotted the old couple sitting just behind first class and approached them.

" _Excuse_ _me._ _I_ _was_ _hoping_ _you_ _could_ _join_ _me_ _here_." I pointed up to the first class area.

"Miss if you are talking to us, you will need to speak in English if you can," the man said.

"Papa she asked if you and mama would join her in first class," the young lady who helped them offered.

"Yes I did ask if you would join me in first class. I was born in America and do speak English, of course you would be welcome to join us also Suzette," I said.

They all looked at me when I said the name, each of them knew the young woman hadn't told me, yet I had called her by name. I turned and as I did both marks on my arm flashed catching their attention.

"I am sorry Chosen we didn't know. Mama and papa would be much more comfortable in first class I am sure. Papa has not be to France since he was in army, this is first chance they have for him to show mama where he was while she wait for him back home," Suzette said.

"You're French, aren't you? I'm sure your story would be very interesting, and it is a long flight, if you would care to share it," I said.

"You are most kind Chosen," Suzette said.

"I'm sorry Miss I don't understand Suzy calling you Chosen, that isn't your name is it?" the old man asked.

"No sir, it isn't my name, but it is one of my titles. My name is Connie Carlson. The Chosen title Suzette uses is a title she heard growing up for the person who would have the two birthmarks I have," I said.

"I do not think I will ever be lucky to meet the Chosen, mom tell me when I am little girl about one day the Chosen will come and change the world, to make it ready for Lord of Life to return. I do not believe the stories' mom tell because she say they are so old," Suzette said.

"The stories are old, as old as the Daughters of Life." The first Daughter knew one day I would come into the world though she did not know of the seal of the Sisters of Life. "The interesting part is no one knew what it was I would do, or how long after I am done before the Lord of Life would return. Sir ma'am the Lord of Life is better known to you as The Christ," I said.

"You are Christian then?" the woman asked.

"Yes madame I am, but I do have an advantage over most Christians, in that I have been tutored by the angels as long as I can remember. I have seen what was and what will be, or more accurately what could be. There are things I know will happen, things the Bible doesn't talk about, but for me to learn how to use Gods Power of Life in the way he wishes means I need to know these things. Each day my understanding of what The Lord has asked of me, becomes clearer, along with how to do what I agreed to so long ago. My greatest fear is in letting God down, letting the Power that is his consume me so when the time comes I fail, as did Lucifer when he had the chance to call on the Power of Life," I said.

"I don't think I understand Miss. How can you be who you claim to be, if you are not married, yet you are with child?" the old man asked.

"The Child was conceived in love between her mother and father. She is the child of my husband," I said.

"But you said you are Miss not Mrs," he said.

"Yes I did, in this world at this time I am not married, but part of the Power of Life allows me to escape this time, this world. In the realm where time does not exist as we understand it I am married and it was there this child was conceived. One day in this world her father and I will be married, but that time is not here as much as I might wish it were," I said.

"I don't understand," the man said.

I held out my hands and drew on the Power of Life. "Please look around you. This is the world in which I told you of," I said.

The man and woman looked at each other and the years melted away from them, they became young again, and again reveled in each others' beauty. The love they shared was plainly visible for any to see.

Suzette watched as the years faded and each took on again the beauty of youth. "We are beyond the veil?" Suzette asked.

"Yes, here time has no meaning, age is not written in mortal flesh," I said.

I let them have their time as young people again to share what in the world of time was beyond their ability any longer. While they shared with each other the joy and intimacy they knew I talked with Suzette. I checked on the world of time and noticed everyone seemed so relaxed not moving. I hadn't meant to make this trip with time in the world of life at a stop. I excused myself from the others knowing that here they would be able to be themselves and no one would bother them.

"Michael I need your help," I said.

"You have become stronger Daughter," He said.

"Thank you my Lord," I fell to my knees and lowered my head. This wasn't Michael talking to me, but the Lord of Lords himself. "My Lord to what do I owe such a great honor?" I asked.

"Rise Daughter. Stand before me and fear not." As I stood he took my arm. "The work is hard and I see you are tired, rest here in peace all who came with are of my house," he said.

"My Lord I have asked the children of men to pray for me for the time that comes. I feel so weak, and do not understand why I am made to suffer in such a manner," I said.

"Child have you lost your faith? Is she who stood before me at the call lost the faith that all things are according to plan?" he asked.

"My lord I know what few before me have known, and wish so many times this knowledge was hidden from me. It is hard to know a bitter cup is at the door and still do what must be done. You have been in my place you cried out for the father to remove the cup and I pray also that this cup may be removed, but I pray that it be your will not mine," I said.

"Be at peace child for I am with you always, even in the darkest times I am here. You are blessed above all in this time for your call is heard and your faith is strong. Your joy will be complete daughter," he said.

"Thank you my Lord. My faith is refreshed and the path made easy. May your will be done always," I said.

There were no more words spoken and Suzette stood as though frozen watching the exchange between the Lord and I. As I raised from the prone position I had assumed after talking with the Lord she looked in awe.

"We must find the others and return to the world of life," I said.

Suzette stepped forward at my words and took my hand.

"Sir, Madam, it is time to return. It was not long ago and yet you are whole now. The Lord of Life has been favorable for us and is well please with you," I said.

We all linked hands and were again on the airplane headed for Paris.

"Chosen this talking, it has made me so very tired. I hope you do not mind if I rest the remainder of the way." Suzette said then laid back in her seat.

It wasn't long and the older couple did the same. I prayed they might be able to remember the time on the other side of the veil they shared. What a precious memory to have since they would return to their home and lay down to this world soon enough.

As soon as we landed I watched everyone get off and head into the terminal. As I stood there watching the head flight attendant came and stood by me.

"You are the Chosen, no?" she asked.

"Yes. I am the Chosen," I said.

"My grand-mama, she will be pleased if you visit while you are here. She tell me all the stories her mom tell her when she is little," she said.

I turned to her and smiled. "Tell your grand-mama I would be very pleased to share a meal with her tomorrow." I turned back to the door and left the plane. I felt her staring at me wondering if she should come after so she could tell me where, but I knew she wouldn't. I knew where and when this meal would take place, just as I knew what the food for the meal would be and the questions the grand-mama would ask.

I stepped into the main terminal and there stood my driver waiting for me. As I approached he turned and headed toward the car. Somehow he had already gotten my bag so was just waiting for me. How well the people who worked with me closely knew me. He knew he would have time to get my bags and still be at the terminal before I got off the plane.

The driver didn't ask where I wanted to go so I figured we were headed for the office. I hadn't told anyone here I was coming home I didn't intend to do anything once I got home, and here my driver was waiting for me when I arrived and never asked if I was going into the office, or going home.

We pulled up at the office and I got out. Something was wrong or none of this would have happened and I could have grabbed a cab at the airport and gone home. As I entered the office Jeannette spotted me and came over as quickly as she could.

"Mademoiselle, your sister called and said when you get here to call right away," she said.

"Thank you Jeanette. Please give me time to get into my office, then get her on the phone for me," I said.

As I sat behind my desk Jeanette let me know Antoinette was on line one.

"What do you need Antoinette? I was going to go straight home and call from there," I said.

"I need you to look at the business sheets for that motorcycle store you buy. I think there may be a problem," she said.

I turned on my computer and started looking over the mail I hadn't looked at since I left Paris. At the top was the business plans for the bike shop. I started looking them over and spotted what Antoinette was so concerned with. I put so much of my own money into it, it would take years before I ever recouped it back.

"What is the problem Antoinette? Are you concerned because of how much I have put into it?" I asked.

"Connie it will take years to make money from this venture. It would be better to sell it and take the loss," she said.

"No Antoinette, it is not for sale, I am sure if you are willing to let it go within two years it will become profitable, in three years it will double in value," I said.

She agreed to let me have this one because I had used mostly my own money in buying and setting it up. As soon as we were done Jeanette knocked on my door.

"Mademoiselle this came in for you while you were away." She handed me a stack of papers.

I started looking over the papers and soon found everything had already been dealt with the papers simply needed my signature. I looked up and Jeanette was still standing there looking at the top of my desk.

"Is there anything else Jeanette?" I asked.

She looked up at me and pouted. "No mademoiselle this is all." She turned to leave and stopped just before opening the door. "Mademoiselle I was hoping maybe I could go to America with you when you return there again," she said.

I giggled and told her I was sure if things here in France were running smoothly I didn't see any reason she couldn't. "Jeanette that means having someone we can depend on taking over for us here while we are gone. I'll leave it up to you to find that person and make sure they can handle things," I said.

She opened the door and left, gently closing the door behind her. How quickly I slipped back into French when I arrived. I didn't think about the words any longer they came easier for me than English did anymore. With each passing day I was affirming my French identity more and more. I had given up on the home of my birth, there really wasn't anything there for me any longer. Oh yes there was still Richard, Judy, Erin, Cindy, and Paula, but the things here in France were mine now, and Paris was where I wanted to be. In Paris I was safe, I knew I was with people who understood me in ways the people back in the States never could.

I finished signing the papers and opened the door of my office to head home.

"Mademoiselle Connie, I hear you are back and hope to catch you before you leave again," Monique said.

"Monique, it is so good to see you." I gave Monique a hug.

"Mademoiselle I was hoping we could again do a show," she said.

"I think that is a wonderful idea Monique, on one condition, you stop calling me mademoiselle. You are my aunt though Dominique's marriage to my mother. I am afraid I won't be able to attend a show for about a year, but I would be pleased to allow you to go through my designs and choose some to put on the runway."

"It would be my pleasure to do this for you Connie," she said.

"Good I have all my designs at home, if you'd like to come by for dinner tonight I'll see you have them to choose from. Shall we say five o'clock." I stopped at the reception desk and asked them to let my driver know I was ready to go.

It took me another twenty minutes before I was able to get out the door. It seemed everyone heard I was back and needed to talk to me. The head designer wanted to talk about a designer he knew of and wanted to bring on board.

"Samuel it is not that I am not interested it is more I didn't come home to work, I came home to rest up before I have to go to New York. If this person is as good as you say then hire them, if they are borderline start them as an apprentice. Either way the choice is yours about hiring them," I said.

"Connie they are good, as good as I am, but not so much experience," he said.

"This is your daughter, no?" He blushed. "I have to go to New York in a week, if she is really as good as you say bring her out to my villa before I leave so I can talk with her. Samuel I am not coming back into the office for anything less that an emergency, before I leave," I said.

"I will have her come out tomorrow, if this is okay," he said.

"That will be fine just call before getting there I may be out riding," I said.

Only with not so much experience. Samuel was one of the oldest designers we had. He joined the company when dad did his first international show after starting Fashionista. He had been trying to get his daughter in since I first moved to France, but the only designs he had ever shown me were his and I had never talked to her so refused to let him give her an offer.

The car was waiting for me as I exited the building. My driver stood there holding the door for me. "Take me home will you I don't think we will be stop... I could use something to eat so let's stop at moms first." I slid into the car and put my head back on the seat.

Why did I have to let anyone know what flight I would be on? I closed my eyes and felt her sitting there staring at me.

"The only reason you can be in this car is to see me and my driver apparently knows who you are, so what do you need?" I asked.

"You look exhausted," she said.

"What do you need Angela?" I asked again.

"I heard you were good, I guess if you know my name you know what I am doing here," she said.

"Yes I know, but say it anyway, because if you don't you won't work for me and I'll be damned if I want to see you work for someone else," I said.

"My dad wants me to come to work for you as a designer. I would rather work on the runway," she said.

"Then you need to talk to Monique not me," I said.

"Monique said unless you referred me she wouldn't take me because of dad," she said.

"Let me see that note book you have." She handed me the note book. "These are really good, if you can do the runway and camera just as well as you've done here, I'll give you your referral, but I want you to sign a contract with me as well. Angela you have real talent in designing, tomorrow I would like you to go to the sewing department and talk to Annette or Cheryl and have them make up all the outfits on this page in both my size and yours, as for the boots Annette can see they get made as well," I said.

"You do know those are designed to be made out of leather?" she asked.

I pressed the intercom so I could talk to Philip my driver. "Philip, Angela will need a ride back to the office when we get to moms. I'm likely to be there for a while so if you wouldn't mind. Angela this meeting is over, you'll need to be in the office by eight in the morning, I''ll have the contract waiting for your signature. You won't be working under your father, he knows nothing about this kind of fashion. After you talk to Annette or Cheryl you'll need to talk to Monique and she will see to it you find your office, and meet everyone you'll be working with," I said.

We pulled up in front of moms and Philip opened the door to let me out. "Philip give me two hours to have lunch and talk with mom, I'll be going straight home after that. One more thing Philip. The next time you let someone in my car without my permission will be the last time you'll drive for me. Two hours, please don't be late," I said.

When I finally arrived home I was exhausted. The jet lag always seemed to work on me opposite what it should have. I climbed in bed as soon as I had my clothes off. While laying there I looked at the slight swell of my belly imagining I could already see it swelling with my daughter. The week seemed to take forever to go by it seemed all I did was get out of bed to get meals and use the facilities then right back in bed. Nothing seemed to cure the tired I felt. I knew I had been pushing to hard, but surely I couldn't be this tired.

The fourth day I lay there staring at nothing and it hit me, I knew why I was so tired and it didn't have anything to do with work or any of many other things I had been so busy with recently. I got out of bed and dressed. I called to have the car sent out, and while I waited for the car fixed some breakfast. The trip home had brought on jet lag, but it wasn't the cause of the lingering tiredness I felt. No, that came from an altogether different source. That came from thinking about what would happen rather than what was in the here and now, I was worried about what might be. I needed to get back to work, and start reminding myself that what could be is not always what will be. He had promised if my faith was in him and solely in him, he would give me the strength to endure what would be.

"Jeanette, in my office please, we have work to do," I said.

Jeanette closed the door as she entered.

"Mademoiselle?" she asked.

"Have you found someone to take your place running the office yet?" I asked.

"Yes mademoiselle. Alexandrie is the best qualified," she said.

"Call her in here please," I said.

While we waited for Alexandrie to get there I went over what had happened since I left to go to America. As we were rapping up what had gone on in my absence there was a knock on the door. Both Jeanette and I looked at the door.

"Come in Alex," I said.

"You wish to see me mademoiselle?" she asked.

"Alex I understand you are next in line should Jeanette or I not be here. I want to know if you feel up to the task if neither of us are able to be here for about three months. Jeanette has done a great job in my absence, I want to know if you could do just as well," I said.

"Mademoiselle I... I am not so sure," she said.

"Then it is time we find out. Alex you are in charge for the remainder of the week, Jeanette and I will be here to help, but I want you to run things if you can. If you do well on Monday you'll be handling it without Jeanette or I, as I have to go to New York and Jeanette will be going with me. Alex you won't be alone in this. If you have problems talk with Monique, she will help all she can, also let the department heads run their departments. I think a staff meeting once a month not more than once a week will be beneficial, and it will give you the chance to get to know those you'll be working with. The office in New York will be calling at least once a week for updates on corporate policy changes and how to implement any changes, if there is anything you don't understand don't be afraid to call the New York office," I said.

"Mademoiselle..." she started.

"You don't think you can handle it?" I asked. "Alex when I became the CEO of this company I was younger and had less experience than you. I wasn't given a choice, I was in Paris for only the second time in my life, and was still getting use to the idea of who my father was, and how much money I had. I didn't grow up with money, or power. Both were thrust on me. Trust me you'll do fine when the time comes."

I gave Jeanette the task of making sure everyone knew Alex was going to be in charge. I headed for Monique's office so we could talk.

"Monique how soon will you have that show ready?" I asked.

"It will be three weeks, if you wish for more time it can be arranged, the date is not set," she said.

"I want the date set. Monique whatever happens I want this show to go on, on schedule," I said.

"Sweetheart why would you fear something should happen?" she asked.

"Promise me this show will go on with, or without me. Monique you know I cannot tell what I know of the future, you also know what I see in the future is not certain. So will you give me that promise?" I asked.

"Yes, you have the promise. This you know will happen, no? This is why you make me promise, no?" she asked.

"Pray for me Monique, pray that God will give me strength to do his will," I said.

"I pray always for this, sweetheart," she said.

Monique showed me the list of models she planned on using. I noticed she was headlining Angela. "Monique is it wise to headline an unknown model in this show?" I asked.

"Yes, she is unknown. Connie she is the perfect model to headline a show like this one. She does not know the mistakes as the others so she listen more closely to me for how to show the dress. Wise I do not know. Right? Yes, it is right she is the one," Monique said.

I finished looking over the list and handed it back. Before I left I ask that if anything happened that I wasn't able to be there the night of the show she ask the audience to pray for me as well, and that she not let anyone know why I wasn't able to be there only that I would need the prayers, if I was to be able to make it back for other shows.

She never asked what I feared again, but I saw the concern in her face and posture. It seemed so long ago her and I met, so many things changed since that day. A day when she would have sold herself as a prostitute just to have the chance to wear one of my designs. Now all this time later and she refused to wear anyone else's designs, refused to even try them on. Her wardrobe was as large as mine, but unlike mine all her clothes were my designs, some of which would never be made available to the public.

I went over to see how things were going on the outfits and pick which I would sew personally.

"Connie I was hoping you would show up. We are having trouble with the headliner dress, the tux to go with it is giving us fits also, but not nearly as bad," Annette said.

"Annette do you think you could do last minute alterations if I put it together? You know you are welcome to watch if you'd like," I said.

I knew she would be able to make whatever alterations might be needed, but always let her make the call. She was as good as I had seen anywhere, which was why she was the one who always did the clothes for my shows. The dress she hadn't been able to get was one I made for myself when I was thirteen, but had never worn. It was going to be my wedding dress the summer I turned eighteen. That seemed a lifetime ago and I still wasn't married. I still had the dress put away in the hope chest Richard made for me, but the hope of wearing that dress no longer existed. I designed a dress for all four of my high school senior friends. Erin, who had been there since kindergarten. Judy who until our senior year seemed to be more interested in being popular than in having any real friends. Paula the starting quarterback who earned that position while still a sophomore. Cindy the last to join our clique, but by no means less important than the rest of us. Cindy was a chef extraordinaire, she knew as much about cooking as I did about designing.

Each of them had come to me for their wedding dresses, each picking a slightly different dress all based on the design of this dress. While this dress would be in the show it would never go on auction nor would it ever become a production dress. No, this dress was special, and this show would be the only time it would be in a show. This dress was my salvation, the goal for survival when things would get messy and difficult in the near future.

The following day I brought the dress in and laid it on the table with all the other dresses for the show.

"Connie!" Annette exclaimed.

"Annette?" I asked.

"I can't believe you have that done already," she said.

I hadn't made it that night I knew I would never make that dress again. It would never be mine again, yet would always be the top dress I would let go out on the runway. There would only be two dresses that to me would outshine this dress, and the man who would benefit would be the only man to ever hold the women the dresses would fit, he would be my husband. I tried to tell Antoinette about how I hoped when I left she would accept her heart and marry the man she loved and trusted more that any other.

"Annette this dress is truly one of my originals, I made this dress when I was thirteen. It was going to be my wedding dress," I said.

"Connie..." she started to say something.

I turned and started walking away. A tear slipped onto my cheek and I let it roll down to my chin. I knew it wasn't going to be the only one on my cheeks so saw no point wiping any of them away.

"It is hard, no?" Monique said.

I glanced up slightly and there stood Monique. She put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me tight against her.

"Your mom, she tell me about that dress, I wonder if maybe it is not the one in the drawings you give me," she said.

"Yes Monique it is the same one. So many times I have taken it out and looked at it. When I made it, I made it big because I was just starting to develop into a woman, but I really did think one day I would wear it. Now I know I never will," I said.

"You have another for this man who holds your heart?" she asked.

"I have two others, both even more beautiful than that dress. Only one will be for me, the other is for his wife after me," I said.

"Why do you say this that he will have someone after you? Sweetheart you talk about going away and it makes me sad," she said.

"It makes me sad as well Monique, but it also brings joy into my heart, joy that those I love so much will find love that does not go away even if we do, it goes on throughout eternity. It brings me joy because I will see the face of my Lord, and there will only be tears of joy in my life," I said.

"I do not think I would wish to know these things you know, it cannot be so easy to live with this knowledge," she said.

I smiled at her and another tear slipped onto my cheek. "No, it is not easy." I hugged her and walked out of the building. I spent the next few days at home, praying and meditating on what it was I knew God was calling me to do.
  16. ##  Chapter 14

I called the flight crew I had in Paris and asked if they could have everything ready to leave Saturday morning early. They said they would be ready to depart as soon as I liked, but the plane they had wasn't the one I was use to, it was only about half the size, if that. Half the size. How my life had changed. Growing up I felt lucky if I had the money to buy a candy bar and a coke, today I had a flight crew telling me the plane they had access to was likely less than half the size of the one I was use to.

I told them to be ready to depart no later than eight and the size of the plane didn't matter as long as there would be somewhere I could lay down if I needed to. I got a giggle from the captain for my request to have somewhere to lie down, the captain told me all the company planes were equipped so someone could lie down if needed. She told me it was common knowledge that once in the air I would lay down asking not to be disturbed until an hour before we were due to land.

I was going to have to talk to my normal flight crew about sharing my personal habits with everyone. As the thought came I smiled knowing they wouldn't have done it as a joke, but to let all the flight crews know what to expect if they were called on to fly me somewhere.

I let Jeanette know if she really wanted to go with she would need to be at the corporate hanger no later than seven o'clock Saturday morning, because I had every intention of being in the air no later than eight.

"I promise I'll be there on time Connie. I need to ask if it would be okay if my husband comes with?" she asked.

"Of course it will be okay Jeanette," I said.

I got to the hanger at six and saw that my bags were stowed and took a seat in the hanger office while waiting for the flight crew to do what they needed to prepare for the flight.

"Mademoiselle, we will be ready to board in about fifteen minutes," the flight attendant said.

"Erica, I need you to do something for me. Over in the terminal there is a Mr and Mrs Isaacson, see that they are on the plane before we leave, it is very important. Also tell the captain to head for Washington DC not New York. We will take on enough fuel in Washington DC to get to New York, but it is important we stop in Washington and drop off the Isaacson's first."

Jeanette and her husband arrived shortly after Erica left to get the Isaacson's in the main terminal.

"Jeanette if you will give your luggage to those men there," I pointed to the ground crew finishing fueling, "they will get it stowed in the cargo hold, then you and your husband may board and make yourselves comfortable. We won't be leaving for about a half hour, there are some people we need to give a ride to Washington DC on their way now and they need to get their things stowed as well," I said.

Fifteen minutes later Erica showed back up with Mr and Mrs Isaacson.

"Mr and Mrs Isaacson it will be a pleasure to have you join us," I said.

"Mrs Carlson, I assure you the pleasure is ours. Our flight just canceled as your representative showed up. I'm curious how you knew to send her to get us," Mr Isaacson asked.

"There will be time to talk during the flight, we need to leave now, or we won't be going anywhere today ourselves, so if you don't wish to miss the meeting we need to get on board. Mr Isaacson, one thing, I am a Miss not a Mrs, a long story," I said.

Once we were clear of the ladder it was rolled away and the door closed. We taxied out onto the runway and sat there waiting for clearance to take off. Three other planes took off ahead of us and as the captain started down the runway and lifted off word came in that the airport was closing with a bomb threat. The captain let us know we were safely away and would be checked once in Washington DC to insure we were clear of any threat of a bomb.

Mrs Isaacson sat next to me as soon as we were free to move around.

"Miss Carlson?" she asked.

"Yes, I am pregnant and it is my husbands child though we are not currently married, at least not in this dimension," I said.

"This dimension?" she asked.

"Have you ever seen or heard of someone who would be born with two marks on their left arm, one plainly visible the other not? One of the marks appearing to be a woman praying the other a dove in flight." I raised the sleeve above the marks on my arm.

"The Chosen of God. You are the Chosen of God. Then you can cross the veil of time into the next life?" she asked.

"Not the next life, I can only do that once, and only in the same manner anyone else does, by giving up this mortal flesh, that time is not come yet, but will be here soon enough," I said.

After an hour of answering their questions I started feeling dizzy as seemed to always be the case, I excused myself and let Erica know I wished to speak to the captain and needed to lay down. She showed me to a bed in the back of the passenger compartment and then headed up front to tell the captain I wished to talk to her.

"You wanted to talk to me mademoiselle?" the captain said.

"How long before we arrive in DC?" I asked.

"About five hours at our present speed, I can probably shave a little off that but we will be running tight on fuel if I push it any faster," she said.

"Five hours will be fine Diane. Will you, let Erica know to wake me in four hours then," I said.

I closed my eyes and was gone, I wasn't taken by the visions, but by sleep. How long had it been since I had slept? Just slept the kind of sleep most people have. When I woke I felt better than I had in a long time my sleep wasn't interrupted by seeing the past or the future, this was the first time since the visions started I was able to sleep without something invading it. I headed back out to the others and sat looking out the window.

"Mademoiselle Carlson the captain said we are still two hours out of DC," Erica said.

I smiled, I felt so good for a change, I saw only water looking out the window and... "Erica tell the captain to change course and head for Atlanta, I know we will be tight on fuel, but if we don't we won't make DC either," I said.

Erica took off at a brisk walk toward the cockpit to relay my message.

I felt the plane making the adjustment and realized why it had been necessary watching out the window. Off on the horizon was a storm we would have headed straight into if we didn't make the change. The captain came back to talk to me fifteen minutes later and said she didn't understand, but was glad for the warning. Had we not changed course when we did we would have been caught in the storm and from all reports the winds and lightning in the storm were such, if we didn't get blown apart by one or the other or both we would have expended too much fuel to hope to reach land, as it was we would be short on fuel to takeoff again without getting some, but we were safely out of the track of the storm.

Atlanta tried to stack us up until they were told point blank we didn't have the fuel for it, we just come in from Paris nonstop. Once on the ground I called Mark and told him to meet us in DC, this flight crew was expended and I wanted to let them rest before going from DC to New York. He tried to tell me it would be better to let them rest in Atlanta, but didn't argue the point strongly. I knew it would have been better, but didn't feel the time would be sufficient to allow it. By the time Mark could have gotten to Atlanta we could easily be sitting in DC, if I would have had Mark and Fashionista one rather than Diane and Fashionista three I wouldn't have diverted to Atlanta in the first place, but it was Diane and Fashionista three that were at my disposal when I left Paris, so we did what we needed to insure the safety of everyone on the plane.

It took until Saturday night before I finally made it to New York and I was so tired with jet lag all I wanted to do was sleep. Antoinette hoped we could go out Saturday night, but with all the delays getting there she gave up that hope. She insisted I stay with her rather than using the company rooms at the hotel, so I let Jeanette take the rooms and I went to Antoinette's for the night.

"Mom say she will be here tomorrow with Ellen's airplane," Antoinette said.

"Sister it seems like so long we have been apart," I said.

"Sister, I mean to ask you about Richard. He is marry to another woman, no?" she asked.

"Yes, he is married to another woman, a woman who is my enemy," I said.

"If this is so how can you still love for him?" she asked.

"Can we talk about this in the morning? Right now all I want to do is sleep," I said.

The visions didn't interrupt my sleep again during the time of our meetings. So many things we went over about the companies we had been buying, or financing. In the past companies like those we worked with were bought and sold off in pieces having the assets divided up and the company no longer existing. The companies we bought however we put the money into to make them viable companies able to compete in their respective markets. With every company we worked with or bought they were becoming the strongest companies in their markets, able to offer lower prices and higher quality for the goods they produced.

Antoinette brought up the motorcycle shop I purchased saying it was looking like it might be smarter to sell it off for a loss now rather than try salvaging it. The market for the motorcycles it dealt in was a tight market and she didn't see how the claims I made about it becoming profitable within two years could possible be realistic. She turned to Ellen after giving her assessment.

"Connie I feel I have to agree with Antoinette on this. I know this is all yours, that you used your own money, but I would seriously advise getting out now before you lose anymore," Ellen said.

I sat there seeing neither of them as they made their suggestions about the motorcycle shop. Two years and all the money I put in would be paid back with interest, and I knew without doubt that would be the case.

"I know it seems I've lost my mind on this because I refuse to consider your suggestions here, but I am asking for two years on this one, if in two years there is no sign of the money being paid back then I give my consent to sell for whatever we can get out of it. If however it does as I know it will I trust both of you will look beyond the present and trust my judgment a little more," I said.

"Alright Connie two years, if in two years it hasn't started paying back what it has cost, it goes on the market, no questions asked," Ellen agreed.

We broke for lunch and I headed for Paul and Ellen's moms. I needed to think and I knew I wouldn't be disturbed there and the food was great as well.

"Mind if I join you?" Paul asked.

"No, please have a seat Paul," I said.

"Connie I..." he started.

"Paul I didn't come here to get involved in something I'm not in favor of, and what you want to ask I'm not in favor of. So do you mind if we sit here and enjoy lunch before you ask?" I asked.

"Not at all," he said.

A few minutes latter we had our lunch sitting in front of us.

"Paul are you sure? Are you sure you really want to stand before God and give an accounting of your life?" I asked.

"I know you will give me all the help you can. It scares me, but I feel drawn to it like nothing else," he said.

"Eat your lunch and I'll do what I can," I said.

The physical world faded and we were standing in a courtroom. On one table lay a crown of thorns while on the other were stacked box after box of who knew what.

I reached over and caressed Paul's cheek running my fingers gently along his jaw line.

"You have been granted a gift Paul. You must choose, but only one of the choices will give life. All of this is yours if you wish, it is the riches you have earned while in life, or you can give all on this table for a simple crown of thorns. The choice is yours Paul," I said.

I stepped back as he looked at the boxes on the table that were heavy laden with what appeared to be gold and jewels. He reached out to take up one of the items from the table of his past.

I stepped back up to where I could touch him and again caressed his cheek. See all the treasure you have accumulated throughout your life. Is it pleasing to you?" I asked.

I took his face in my hands and turned him to face me.

I cannot make this choice for you Paul, what I have said is true, all of this is yours, if you wish take it and find the life you have therein. I reached up while pulling him down so I was able to give him the Kiss of Life, as my lips touched his the Power of Life filled me. Never had I felt such Power and at the same time felt so helpless.

"If you take up the treasures of your life you have chosen, and the choice is not changeable," I said.

He walked over to the table with the crown of thorns and started crying, staring at the crown.

"Forgive me my Lord I did not know. I am unworthy of such love, but I choose the crown." He reached down picking up the crown and placing it on his head.

The choice had been made, he had chosen life. We were returned again to our lunch table with what was left of our lunch sitting before us.

"I... Connie I didn't know." He looked up at me the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Welcome to the world of life Paul. I have never walked anyone through that before, I wish it could be that I never walk anyone through it again," I said.

"You saw? You saw what was in those boxes, didn't you?" he asked.

"I saw. I saw how you looked at those boxes and feared for you. I feared you would cling to the things of this world and set aside the gift of God," I said.

He looked at me as though wondering if what I saw was the same as he did, did I really see all the things he had done throughout his life. He wanted to ask, but seemed afraid he would receive the answer he didn't want. That what I had seen was all the lies, prejudices, swindles, even murders. He had never pulled the trigger personally, but he was complicit by association and inaction. He saw himself as guilty simply on the basis of second hand knowledge.

"Paul you are forgiven, it is time to set aside the past and live in the present, while working toward the future. Can you do that? Can you forgive yourself for what has been forgiven by God?" I asked.

"I feel like I have been remade. Everything is like new. I..." he said.

"In a way you are new, as though you are reborn with all the sin of the past forgiven. Paul you have been accepted into the family of God, all that was is no longer, but you will again face the judgment throne. Next time it should be easier for you, but only if you learn to forgive fully," I said.

Like new if only he fully understood what happened. Was he aware had he chosen the things he earned in this life he wouldn't be sitting with me now? Did he think asking me for this would make living a pure life easier? Did he understand that forgiveness wouldn't be any easier to find now than it had been before? No I didn't think he was aware of any of that, I believe he thought this would be the only time he would stand before God in judgment. In truth however this time didn't need to happen at all, and in all likelihood would make the next time even harder. I knew he would strive to live the right kind of life, he always had, but he would still sin against God. I truly hoped he would ask forgiveness daily so the next time he faced the judgment he would have less to be forgiven for. Only one man ever lived who never needed salvation, one out of the billions upon billions of people who have lived and died would never need forgiveness for sins committed.

I came to understand the selection of the first Daughter of Life. I hadn't been aware what it entailed to give the Kiss of Life, now I knew, now I had given the Kiss as only one Daughter before me had. I knew it was not the only time I would need to use that part of the Power of Life, no matter how much I never wanted to again, I knew if needed I would again take someone before the throne. I would again give the options at the foot of the throne. I knew there would be few who would choose Life and repent of their sins. I also knew in each case I would see the corruption of their lives, things so vile I couldn't begin to understand how anyone could think them treasures, yet I knew most would.

My heart was happy for Paul, that he had chosen life. I had seen the look of defiance before he surrendered his sin and accepted the gift of Life. I saw how he struggled seeing not the corruption, but things he had valued. I saw how he wanted to choose God, but was drawn to corruption because of his familiarity with the corruption. In watching his struggle I didn't see him, but myself making that choice. I was a sinner, and for me to... I knew the choices, but I didn't know the extent of my sin. Yes I knew I was a sinner. I knew and I prayed daily that God would forgive me my sins. I knew the passion of God, I knew his desire to forgive us. What I didn't know was my ability to forgive myself.

We finished our lunch in quiet, each immersed in our own thoughts. I knew what I would face would be soon, how soon I didn't know. I knew this with Paul was to help me somehow, but it wasn't making sense. I am the Daughter of Life, anyone who knew what that means, knew I wasn't vulnerable to the dangers of this world, yet I knew everyone who would be involved would know I was the Chosen of God, they would all know the fate they would face in what they would do. So many things that weren't making sense to me, I wasn't vulnerable yet I would become vulnerable somehow. Now the only way I could become vulnerable was to have God ask me not to use what he had allowed me. Would he really do that for some reason? Had I become arrogant in my confidence? Possibly I had stopped thinking of myself as vulnerable to other peoples harmful attitudes, could that be seen as arrogance?

"Connie we must talk," Michael said.

I looked around and saw no one, but knew the voice. It was happening even now, everything was being put in motion for the test I faced. Fear rippled down my spine I knew what Michael was going to say, and I knew I would abide what he would say until the time I was again granted the blessing of God.

"Michael I know why you are here. I know what you are going to say and I abide the request until the time of trial is over," I said.

"Will you not join me Connie?" he asked.

"As God wills so it shall be. Michael I ask that you not make this request that I join you. My resolve is set and I will abide the will of my Lord forever. I know you will be with me always through this trial, as you have always been with me as I have grown in this life," I said.

"Connie I cannot join you in the world of men. I wish to talk with you," he said.

I ignored him I knew he only wanted to comfort me and let me know he would do all he could to help. A tear slipped onto my cheek and I quickly brushed it aside. If Michael was watching he would have seen it and known what it meant, for him to have talked to me as he had, he needed to be in the world of time, but not fully, or he would have been visible to me.

I laid the cash for my meal and a gratuity on the table and left. I saw my car waiting for me and turned the other way. I wasn't ready to go back to the office and didn't think I would make it there if I got in the car at any rate. The trial had been put in motion and nothing would change the outcome, it would happen. I walked into the park and stayed away from the road and sidewalks. I needed to pray and wanted to be alone while I did. I found a place off one of the main paths through the park, a place that was shielded by brush. It was visible, but not fully, and would easily be missed by anyone not looking for it. I knelt and started crying out to God for his mercy knowing it was mine already. As I finished my prayer I heard someone asking if they were sure they had seen her come this way.

They were looking for me, I knew without thinking they would find me, and because of the promise I made I would be unable to stop them from finding me. I stood up and they saw me and turned as though looking to insure no one else could see what they were about to do. There were two of them looking off in the distance and another around the other side. I felt a prick as though being stung by a bee and collapsed.

When I came to I was tied to a gurney in a moving vehicle headed to who knew where. One man was sitting by me while two others sat up in the front of the vehicle one driving the other telling off color jokes and laughing as though they were the funniest jokes in the world. I reached for my gift and failed. I didn't intend to use it only to draw reassurance from its presence, but it wasn't there, I was truly alone with no hope of having my gift to easy what was to come.

"Well, well look what we have here," Mario said.

"Mario please think about what you're doing. You know who I am, you've heard the stories about me," I said.

"She is cocky, isn't she?" I heard Ruth say.

No, this couldn't be right. What was she doing here? If she was here where was Richard? I reached out for the bond that still held us and again found nothing. If I couldn't feel him could he feel me? No, as long as the bond was there we could pinpoint each other, with the bond down entirely he was as blind to me as I was to him."Are you sure her Powers are neutralized?" Mario asked.

"Trust me Mario as long as she is pregnant she can't access her Powers, she is harmless," Ruth said.

What did she say? She thought my Powers were neutralized because I was pregnant? How little did anyone really know about me and what I could and couldn't do. She of all people involved in this should have known I didn't have access to the Powers of Life because they weren't mine and I had agreed to... no they weren't there I couldn't even feel them, but if I could have, I could have also used them if I hadn't agreed not to until the Lord let me know it was okay to do so.

"I'm sorry Connie I tried to tell you about this, he knew you would try not to use the Powers, but it was something you asked him for so you wouldn't be tempted to use them before the trial was over," Michael said.

"Thank you Michael, he didn't abandon me then, he is giving me the help I asked for. Sometimes not being able to remember the before time can hurt, Michael I felt abandoned when I tried to touch the Power and couldn't find it," I said.

I was rolled into an office in a warehouse somewhere, I had no idea where, and none of my friends would have a clue I was missing until they either got a call or needed me for something and couldn't find me anywhere. I heard a phone start ringing and from the tune I guessed it was mine and Marie who was calling since that tune was hers alone. I heard it go to voice mail and knew no one was going to call offering to return me for a ransom, I was truly in this alone for the present time. I started praying, prayer seemed the only thing I was able to do for the time being.

"Well bitch lets see what we have, shall we." Mario ripped my dress down the center. "Mmm, nice, so very nice."

I twisted and turned as best I could, but bound as I was it wasn't much and did nothing to stop him. Soon there were several other men standing around and Mario cut the waist of my panties at both hips and my bra between my breasts and over my shoulders. I lay there on that gurney naked and felt shame for the first time in I couldn't remember how long. I was pregnant with my daughter who would see the return of The Lord, and knew without a doubt I was going to be raped repeatedly.

"Mom is something wrong?" Antoinette asked.

"Yes, it is not like Connie to not answer her telephone if she have service. I check with the airplane crews, they say they not hear from her, when I call her car the driver say he not see her since he drop her at Maria's fine Italian Cuisine for lunch three hours ago," Marie said.

"She say she might not be back today when she leave here. Mom I am sure she is okay, if she have trouble she would call, no?" Antoinette asked.

"Yes if it is possible she would call. I will try not to worry for now," Marie said.

"Antoinette have you seen Connie? We were supposed to have a meeting this afternoon, I thought she would be back from lunch by now." Ellen said.

"We have not see her since the meeting this morning. Mom try to call her, but get only her voice mail. Ellen did she say this afternoon for sure?" Antoinette asked.

"Yes she did. I think it's time to see what is going on, to many inconsistencies, and Connie is not this flighty," Ellen said.

"It is time to worry if she tell you she will be here," Marie said.

"Paul have you seen or heard from Connie recently?" Ellen asked when he answered.

"I had lunch with her, I haven't seen her since. Ellen I did see her go into the park as I was leaving moms. You think something might have happened to her?" he asked.

"I'm worried, her and I were suppose to meet this afternoon to go over a few things, and no one here has any idea where she is," Ellen said.

"You know she is the Chosen of God, she can do things most of us can't even begin to understand," Paul said.

"You sound like you've seen her do some of those things. Paul you didn't ask her to give you the Kiss of Life did you?" Ellen asked.

He never answered, but he didn't need to, Ellen knew as soon as the words came out he had. He had lunch with Connie for just that reason.

"How could you do that to her Paul? Don't you realize she's pregnant?" Ellen asked.

"She's pregnant? That can't be! Ellen if she's pregnant everything we know, or thought we knew is wrong. I was of the understanding she wouldn't be able to use her Powers while she was pregnant," Paul said.

Everything changed if she had full access to her Powers as the Chosen of God she wasn't vulnerable to harm from this world. If that were true where was she?

"I'm sure your friends are starting to worry about you by now. I wonder how long before they give up and just figure you're dead. Oh don't worry you aren't going to die, at least not right away. I have plans for someone as sweet as you," Mario said.

"If you let her have her way I'd already be dead, wouldn't I? I know you have no intention of killing me Mario, if you did, you would just turn me over to her and her sisters. You don't have to do this, you could walk away now and I would see no one did anything to you. If you follow through with your plan I can assure you before this is over you will wish you had asked me for the Kiss of Life," I said.

"The kiss of life, ha! You think I believe in that old fable? No it's just stories to scare children, you're just a woman like any other, prettier than some not as pretty as others," he said.

A tear rolled from the corner of my eye. So much this man could have done and in the end he would stand before God alone, no one to make the offer, no one to encourage his choice. Another tear slid from my eye. There was one here who would feel the Kiss of Life, Mario wasn't that person.

My legs were forced open at the knees, and I gasped. I knew what was coming, and knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. I prayed asking God how long? How long before I would again have access to the Powers of Life so I could escape the indignation of what would soon be happening.

It started, the indignation, the violation, the rape that marked the lives of all who would take part.

He inserted himself inside me and put all his weight on me. "You will beg for this before we are through. You will beg for this and more," Mario said.

I bit my lip knowing I might one day give in and beg with my words, but never with my heart. Never would I beg for someone to use me as he was doing now. Another tear slid from my eye as I begged God to forgive them for what they did.

As he withdrew one of the men with him took his place. With each man he told me to beg for more, if I wanted to eat I would beg. Each of his men took a turn then he had them place a dildo inside me along with something to hold it in so I couldn't use the muscles in my vagina to remove it. He gave orders to his men I wasn't to receive anything to eat unless I first begged them to use me. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for long, I had work to do that required I not harm mine, or my daughters health to severely.

The first day it seemed any time one of the men wanted they had permission to take me to quell their lusts, each time telling me to beg them to do what I couldn't beg them to do. The second day another group of men showed up each taking a turn and always the dildo once they finished. Always the telling me to beg for it. It continued for a week before I gave in and started saying what they wanted to hear. I lost track of time never sure if it was day or night. I gave in the first time for a sip of water, only to find the water was foul, but it did wet my lips making it a little more bearable.

The men were forbidden to hit me or abuse me physically in any way other than sexually. Had they hit me I think I could have withheld from begging longer. As it was I begged and each time found it easier to do so. I hated what they were doing, but found it was easier to beg than go hungry and thirsty. The sexual abuse continued at all times of the day or night for about two months to the best of my reckoning. Time no longer had any meaning to me as the men would use me whenever they wanted, so sleep became something I did between times of the men using me.

"You're doing real good at begging, should we take this to a new level now baby? Do you like getting screwed like this?" Mario asked.

"Please I need it so bad," I begged.

"I know you do, and you're going to need it even more before we're through. I want you to start begging more even when the men aren't with you. I want to hear you begging them to please take care of you. You think you can do that for me? If you can we'll see about untying your legs. If you don't beg and don't keep them open though they'll be tied open again," Mario said.

I promised to do what he said. I begged if I got more than twenty minutes without one of them wanting to use me. He kept his word about untying my legs and I kept them open for him, I hoped he would untie my arms soon as well. I knew if he did he would be sure to make it so I couldn't go anywhere and he would expect me to avail myself to the men. For the small freedom it would offer I was thinking how nice it would be.

After I had shown I could do what he wanted things changed again. I had become so accustomed to the men using me I had earned the right to not be tied to the table any longer. Mario started bringing other men around I'd see them once, and only once, he made sure my left arm was bandaged at those times, and warned me that should I let any of the men know the bandages were to hide my birthmarks I would again be tied to the table until I promised to never do more than beg to be used.

One day I was begging the men and all of them turned away from me. It didn't make sense I became so use to them taking me I needed them to do so, and they stopped. This went on for about a week without any explanation. Mario came in and told me the men started complaining I was getting fat.

How could I be getting fat they barely gave me enough food to stay healthy, so I didn't understand.

"You're getting fat bitch, the men have all talked about it to me saying if you didn't lose the belly they wouldn't want anything to do with you," Mario said.

"I'm pregnant not fat, in a few months the baby will be born and I won't be fat anymore," I said.

"The men don't want you because you're fat, I can't protect you if the men don't get taken care of and with that belly they would rather not be with you than have their needs taken care of," he said.

"I..." Tears started rolling down my cheeks, I knew what he wanted, and I knew it was the one thing I couldn't give him. He wanted me to suggest an abortion, I couldn't kill my daughter, she had been conceived in love and I knew her father would never give up looking for me.

"It could start getting rough for you if you aren't willing to beg for a way of no longer being fat. It's really easy all you have to do is beg for an abortion then the men will want you again. You want the men to want you again don't you?" he asked.

"Yes I said looking down." I did want them to want me again, but not if it meant aborting my baby, my little girl. No I couldn't beg for an abortion the child I carried was the last Daughter of Life the Daughter who would witness the return of the Lord in all his glory.

"Beg and everything will be good as new," he said.

"I... I can't," I said.

He smacked me so fast and so hard I hit the floor and didn't move. The next thing I remembered I was tied to the table again.

"I'm putting this in you and if it comes out without one of us taking it out you get that," he pointed at a needle on a tray. I shuttered, I didn't dare not do all I could to insure it stayed inside me.

He pushed it in until I flinched in pain. He then took something else and pushed it in my butt. "When you're ready to beg we'll talk about those coming out and the men taking care of you again," he said.

I knew I was in trouble, if I begged I'd lose my daughter, but I would be alive and able to again move around and beg the men to be with me. If I continued to refuse I'd be beaten and might lose my daughter and my life, without accomplishing what I was suppose to accomplish. I didn't see anyway out, but I couldn't give in.

I prayed begging God to help to again restore his gift that I might save my daughter.

A week went by then another he didn't offer to let me beg and he refused to allow either the dildo or the butt plug to be removed other than long enough for me to relieve myself. Every day someone would work the dildo making me scream begging them to use me please. My sleep was again allowed sporadically in small increments. I was again so tired I couldn't think clearly and about the third week he asked if I wanted the men again.

It would have been so easy to say yes, he pushed the dildo in a little deeper and I moaned.

"Tell me bitch, tell me what you want," he said.

"Please I need to be used, I need to make the men happy again. Please I just want them to like me again," I said.

"You're fat! That's why they don't like you anymore. If you were skinny maybe I could convince them to like you and fill that cunt of yours again, but your fat so there is no point in even trying," he said.

I started crying. I didn't want to be fat I wanted the men to want me again. I needed to feel them holding me, using me. "I don't want to be fat. Please I don't want to be fat." I cried.

"What do you want then bitch? Tell me what do you want! Beg for it, if you don't beg I won't believe you really want to have the men like you again," he said.

"I don't want to be fat. Please, I don't want to be fat anymore. Please make it so I'm not fat anymore." I cried.

"What do we have to do for that to happen? Tell me. Beg for it and I'll let you not be fat any longer," he said.

He wanted me to beg for an abortion, to beg him to kill my daughter. This was the challenge I faced. It wasn't something for anyone but me. I realized then what this was really all about. My daughter was the last of the Daughters of Life and her life was in my hands now, my hands not Gods where her life truly belonged. The way out of this was to let go and trust in God for what he wanted and stop fighting a battle I would lose otherwise.

"Please I don't want to be fat any longer. Please I beg you don't let me be fat anymore." I couldn't bring myself to say I wanted an abortion, I didn't want one, I loved my daughter and wanted her to live to see the return of the Lord.

"You're sure that's what you want?" he asked.

"Please I'm begging you I don't want to be fat anymore," I said.

All that abuse, and for what? So I could learn to trust God? No I already trusted God, if I hadn't I wouldn't be who I am, the Chosen of God.

"Your enemy has been delivered into your hands Daughter of Life. The fate of your enemy is yours to decide," a voice said.

Richards wife walked in as soon as the words were said. The fate of my enemy, the fate of my enemy not Gods enemy. Of course I had no Power to judge the enemy of God, that was Gods province alone, but for my enemy it had been given into my hands.

"I forgo my right to judge my enemy, and give the judgment into the hands of God who knows the hearts of all," I said.

I stepped through the veil of time and had her with me in less than a heart beat.

"Do you know this place Daughter of Death? Your life has been given into my hands to do with as I choose. You have made me your enemy, but you are not my enemy so I defer the judgment to he who has Power to judge all men," I said.

She turned and there sat the throne of judgment. "Choose which you will, one leads to life the other to death. The judgment is by your own hand whether you live or die. On one table is life eternal on the other the treasures you have earned throughout your life," I said.

She turned back to face me. "And if I choose life will I keep my husband, will he love me as he does you Daughter of Life?" she asked.

"Choose Sister, what is I cannot change. The judgment I make against you is that your choice now will be for eternity, this judgment is the judgment not for life temporal, but for life eternal, I cannot choose but for life temporal and that you have forfeit, never again will you walk in the realm of man," I said.

There was no Kiss of Life, the choices where before her and the choice she made now would be for her, eternal, not temporal.

"Are there any who will stand up for this woman?" The voice came from the throne.

"My Lord I will," I said.

"My Daughter, you defend she who would seek your destruction?" the Lord asked.

"No my Lord I defend she who has no defense. I beseech you Lord if there is any righteousness in me it be laid credit to her. My Lord I take upon myself if it be your will all the unrighteousness that is laid here against her," I said.

"The judgment is made, The righteousness accredited is thus accredited. Take up that which is yours Daughter and go," the Lord said.

I turned and was back in the world of man. Had she chosen life I didn't know, I did know that until I turned none had stood for her save myself, and once I turned I was no longer able to see or hear what transpired.

"Hold it right there Mario," Ellen said.

I was no longer bound to the table. I stood and walked over to where Ellen stood holding the gun pointed at her brother. I felt myself reach out and take the gun from her, the gun fired and Mario slowly slid to a kneeling position, then down to a laying position as a puddle of blood spread from under him. I stood there holding the gun with no expression showing. I knew I pulled the trigger. I knew Mario was laying there his life blood covering the floor under and around him. I saw his soul pass through the veil and prayed God would be merciful.

It was over the trial I knew was to show my worthiness to be the Chosen, was over. I didn't know if I passed the test, I wasn't even sure it had been a test. I did know I felt very, very dirty.

Paul came over to me with a blanket and threw it over my shoulders. "It will be okay Connie, we won't let anyone hurt you like that again," he said.

I just stood there staring at Mario's body laying there and knew I had cast judgment on him. It hadn't been my place to judge him, but that was what I had done. There was no second chance, he stood before the throne giving a full accounting of what he had done while in this life. I knew he would choose the treasures he had saved up in this life over the offering God had provided for all men.

Antoinette put her arm around me and lead me out to a car that was waiting. "Connie it is over. It is time to leave now," she said.

I looked at her, she knew me, she knew my heart. She slid in next to me and wrapped her arm around me again and let me cry.

"It is over, sister. It is over," she said.

I never left Antoinette's apartment for the next week, every time I saw anything no matter how remotely it could be connected to the time I had been held I would start shaking and break down in tears. I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to use me. I begged them and begged them. I hated every time one of them touched me, yet I still begged them. I had been so weak without the Power of God to back me. Now the Power was again there if I needed it and I still feared for myself. I wanted them to like me which translated into them using me.

"Connie we must talk, I worry for you." Antoinette said after I had been back for a week and still seemed so withdrawn.

I looked at her and knew if I never voiced my fears I would never move past them. I didn't want to share all that ugliness with her. She didn't need that kind of ugly in her life, it had been her strength and determination that had seen I wasn't forgotten.

"It was Richard and his men who found you sister. When he learn you are missing he do all he can to find you," Antoinette said.

Richard found me? He wasn't there when I was rescued, not that I really needed rescuing, but if it was him who found me why wasn't he there.

"His wife is dead. I took her before the throne of God, and was given Power to cast judgment on her," I said.

Antoinette and Marie both looked at me. No Daughter of Life had ever cast judgment, we had all without exception said we were unworthy of judging another.

"I did not judge her, only asked she not be allowed to return to life if she was found worthy of life," I said.

The relief they both showed in how their postures relaxed was so visible. They both knew the Daughter of Life had been given the ability to look into a persons' heart, but we all had refused to judge because we were unsure of our ability to interpret what we saw. For some they were surprised that someone was found accepted when they would have judged otherwise. I knew with Richards wife I would have cast her into darkness had I judged her. I didn't know if that happened, I didn't want to know. What I did know was my judgment would have been given not on her heart but her deeds, deeds she may, or may not have been willing to repent.

"Antoinette, mom, I could not judge her the pain of what I suffered was to great and my judgment would not have been true. I did not feel she should be allowed to walk among men, but I did not know if she deserved damnation for her sins. I could not see her heart, even with the Power of God to judge I could not see her heart only the pain she had helped inflict on me," I said.

They both looked at me with surprise showing in their faces. Could it really be, even with the Power of God to judge, our mortal frailties could prevail? They both knew me to be fair and non-judgmental, they believed it was because of the Power I had, now they weren't sure.

"Mom, sister, I could not judge her by what I saw in her heart, what I knew of how she treated me clouded my vision even with the Power of God I saw what I accredited to her. I could not judge clearly, because my personal feelings got in the way," I said.

Understanding entered into their expressions as they realized what it was I said. Even with the Power of God we as mortals still could not see clearly beyond our senses. I had been hurt by her both when Richard married her and again when she assisted Mario and his gang of thieves. I had given up the right to judge because my personal feelings got in the way, and I didn't want to be held responsible for someone spending eternity in hell because I had a personal dislike for them.

Marie and I stayed another week in New York over which time I told Antoinette almost every detail of what happened, without going into detail about how I had known it was going to happen before it did. I didn't tell about being denied access to the Power of God I had been granted. She didn't understand, she had no reference point to draw from to begin to comprehend any of what I suffered over the three months I had been a captive. Hate was so foreign to her and yet she needed to understand what hate was to prevent falling victim to it when her trials as the Daughter of Love started. She knew how to love and it seemed she knew how to hate also, but anyone who took the time to know her soon found she couldn't even begin to conceive how to hate. It was a concept she couldn't grasp.

In denying her the details of what happened I knew I was denying her the chance of learning what hate, pure unbridled hate, meant. I had hated, I hated everyone of those men who availed themselves on me while I was unable to protect myself. I wanted all of them to die, and even dreamed of watching each of them die horrible, agonizing and slow deaths. I couldn't subject Antoinette to that, I knew she was strong but didn't know if she was strong enough to avoid that kind of hate.

Then it happened, everything I hoped to spare everyone from came to light in videos that managed to surface. I hadn't even known there were videos, but as they started surfacing there was nothing I could do to stop friends and family from seeing them.

I tried going out shopping a couple days before returning to Paris and got caught in a situation I wished could have been avoided, but those, people propagating to denounce me as a false teacher and prophet insisted in trying to get me to show forth the Power of God, or admit I was trying to deceive the world.

"Show us a miracle that we might believe you are The Chosen of God!" someone shouted.

A miracle, like that would have stopped them and brought them into the light of God.

"You ask for signs and ignore the signs of the coming of the Son of Man. It was with cries such as those you make that the Pharisees and the Scribes called out to The Lord saying give us a sign that we might see and believe. I tell you the signs have been given and still you do not see. Even if I made a man to rise from the grave you would attribute it to Lucifer. Woo to those who would call good evil and evil good for the judgment of God is upon you, God cries out let my people go. Castigate not those who live by grace and seek always the will of he who sent me, for then your lives are secure in the Lord of Lords. Lead not my children into captivity with your preaching of a law you refuse to live by. Yea first live by the law, then you may set law upon others. Hypocrites you say you are for God yet preach the ways of man. Seek out the word of God and you will see your signs aplenty, but as for me I will give you no sign," I responded.

With disgust I returned to the apartment and found Antoinette watching the video of what I went through.

"How did you hold out so long sister?" she asked.

"Please I beg you to turn this off." I ran into the room I had. As I lay on the bed it all came crashing back. The torment of being forced to beg them to use me. The drug they threatened to used to weaken my resolve. Each step that had taken place with no relief other than the knowledge that God loved me, and for every tear I shed the hosts of heaven shed ten. How I had cried out to be delivered of this torture, this horror that had become my life.

I heard Antoinette enter my room. "My gift had been denied me until you arrived. I lost the will to fight them until they asked for the life of my daughter. I could not give them what was not mine to give. I had to surrender everything even the life that was not mine to give to regain the gift I had been granted," I said.

"Sweetheart the strength to surrender is often more than to hold on. Marie's life is not yours to give, or to take, it belongs to God. It is a hard lesson to learn, but one we must all learn," Mom said.

I looked up it was mom who said that, not Antoinette. Antoinette stood at the foot of the bed with mom standing by her, both looking at me with such love and compassion in their eyes everything about them said I was loved.

"Mom I wish to go home. I wish to return where I know I am loved always, where the people know me from the stories they have learned from their birth," I said.
  17. ##  Chapter 15

I had been checked by doctors weekly once I had been found after my kidnapping. I hadn't seen the need, but wasn't about to argue with mom, I knew if I tried she would find some way of making things even harder for me. It took several months after Marie was born before I was able to put what happened in its proper place, and move on. Every time I tried to go out something would happen and I had to go home where I knew I would be safe. I never had problems in Paris, I knew there were elements of life that could be as bad as anything I had seen back in the States, but for me nothing out of the ordinary happened. Whether it was my birthmarks or not, I didn't know. I did know more people knew what my birthmarks meant. So many times I had been stopped and someone would tell me they heard the stories about me, but never thought I would live during their lifetime, let alone that they would every get the chance to meet me in person.

A living legend and I hadn't done anything yet. I was a character from stories that dated back as farther than anyone could remember. Stories that accredited me with things no one could begin to understand, on a parallel with God himself. Any time someone tried to deify me I would denounce their words and actions. I wasn't a deity and I wasn't going to allow anyone to treat me as though I were, if I were in a position to stop them from doing so.

Marie was born three months to the day from the day I again was free. Her mark of Power was there for anyone to see who knew or cared. In the end only two would bare a mark of Power though there would be four who had Power gifted of God. My daughter Marie, her predecessor, and my sister Antoinette. And the Daughter of Faith, I was so proud of my family, the knowledge of what they would do brought a comfort nothing else in life could. It was what allowed me to do the work that was mine to do, the work of hiding all who had the Power of God so they and they alone would know what their tasks were.

The stories where there and would remain until the day set aside for the work I would do. Even then the stories would remain, but the understanding of what they meant would be hidden. The Sisters of Life would be no more their time would end with me. The Sisters of Death would end sooner. The time of their ending was marked by my daughter knowing her father as her father. Her having him in her life to help her learn what I wouldn't be able to teach her because I would already be gone.

I had been trying to get mom and papa to move to the villa with me, but until Marie was born they always found a reason not to. At first they said they needed to stay closer to grand-mama. I talked to grand-mama about moving to the villa and soon that excuse was gone. The problem had been mom not papa, papa spent many days at the villa since we returned from America. Thanks to Richard and his family, papa discovered he was able to work with the cattle. To do it as the French did he wasn't big enough, but using a horse as they did in America he more than measured up to the task.

Marie turned one-year-old with a big fanfare by mom and Antoinette, both of them loved her so much. It was at the party they had for her the reality of what would be, came into being. Mom heard Marie call me mom several times, but was taken so completely by surprise when Antoinette got near her.

"Mom play," Marie said.

"Of course I will play with you Marie, but it has been a long time since I played like this." Antoinette didn't pick up that Marie called her mom, but mom did.

"Connie she calls Antoinette mom. This should not be," Mom said.

"Mom it is right she call Antoinette mom, when I am gone Antoinette will be her mom," I said.

Marie never said another word about my daughter calling Antoinette mom, though it was plain it bothered her.

"Mom I need to go back to America, it is time Marie meet her papa," I said.

"Is it wise for you to go to America again sweetheart? You do not see any danger in America?" Mom asked.

"It is good for me to return to America this time. It is time I see Marie's papa. It is time I am married," I said.

Marie nodded her understanding, she didn't like the idea, but she did understand. I hadn't told her of the visions I had been having, visions of Paul on his death bed and Ellen worried she might be next. These things did weigh on me, but they weren't the things I feared about this trip back to the home of my youth.

Danger was a very real likelihood anytime I went back to America, but the time was right for Richard to decide if he loved me or not. I knew this time going to America I would be coming home married, or free to find someone else who could love me in spite of my being the Chosen of God.

Marie called and made arrangements for my plane to leave the following day with a stop in New York so I could see Antoinette and Ellen. As she told me I would be laying over in New York, I smiled knowing Marie would love seeing Antoinette her aunt who also happened to be her mom. How much I was going to miss being there as she grew into the woman she would become. The woman who would call the children of God together at his feet, as he again walked among men.

Mom and papa would join me in America in a week or two, after they were able to get things in Paris set so they would be able to go without worrying about grand-mama. As I waited for the day to pass I went and talked to moms brother to try to understand why he and mom did not share a closeness that would normally be there between brother and sister.

"Is Robert in?" I asked.

"Mademoiselle do you have an appointment?" the receptionist asked.

"No I do not, but it is important I speak with him," I said.

"Mademoiselle he has asked not to be disturbed. I am sorry, but if you do not have an appointment I am afraid he will not see you," the receptionist said.

"Could you tell him the Chosen of God wishes to see him, please," I said.

The receptionist gave me a strange look. She called back to his office and asked if it would be alright if I came to see him, saying it as I had. A moment later he stood in the door looking around as though looking for someone.

"Who is this Chosen of God?" He looked at me and stepped back as though hit. "Who are you that you would say you are Chosen of God?" I took off my jacket and he stepped back again as though hit. "Mademoiselle please come in, please. It is a great honor to have the Chosen of God visit me," he said.

"It is a great honor for me to meet the brother of my mom. Marie Bordeaux is your sister, no?" I asked.

"Marie is your mom? How can this be?" he asked.

"Marie was chosen to be the mom of the Chosen of God before time began. She is the mom of the Daughter of Life, and also the Daughter of Love. As you can see I am the Daughter of Life," I said.

He looked at me as what I said sank in. If I was the Daughter of Life that meant Antoinette had to be the Daughter of Love, this made no sense, he had never heard tell of the Daughter of Love, and it was obvious I was More than just a Daughter of Life I was the Chosen of God.

"Marie is your sister, no?" I asked.

He nodded that she was indeed his sister. "What is this Daughter of Love you speak of?" he asked.

"Do you know the tales of the Sisters of Death? How they came to be?" He nodded that he did. The first Sister of Death forswore the Power of Love and betrayed her sister, no? She was chosen as the sister of Life, but she hated life and sought only death. The Power of Life is great, but must be tempered with the Power of Love. The Powers must be joined, or the Power of Life will destroy the user of it, this is what happened with the first Daughter. When her sister betrayed her and withheld the Power of Love the Power of Life started to consume the Daughter. The Daughter of Love looked on and laughed as her sister was consumed by that which was meant for good. In the end both sisters where destroyed," he said. "And Antoinette will not let you down as the First Daughter of Life's sister let her down?"

"No! Unlike the first Daughter of Love Antoinette wasn't chosen she volunteered, she stood by as her sister answered the call of the Lord. And when a call went out again she answered. No, Antoinette will not betray me as happened in the past," I said.

"Marie is only my half sister, we have different mothers," he said.

"Does that make her less your sister? Robert she is your sister, she is who tends your mom. She loves you," I said.

He didn't have an answer for that. For so long he had denied her his love while shunning his mother because she had been American not French.

"Robert in two months grand-mama will be coming to America for my wedding I would be honored if you and your family would be there as well. Please don't shut out those who love you, to do that means even that you know who I am, you reject me, I was born in America," I said.

He looked up startled. Could I have really said I had been born in America? I walked to the door and opened it inviting Cali into the office.

"Cali I ask you to please talk with your papa," I said.

Cali stepped in the office as I stepped out, I had a plane to catch in the morning and needed to get some rest if I could before leaving. I had told Robert I was getting married in two months and somehow knew I was right, but couldn't recall a single vision that would confirm it.

Antoinette met me at the airport when I landed in New York.

"I did not expect you to return so soon," she said.

"How could I stay away when you are here?" I asked.

"Give the crew time to rest and stay with me tonight," she said.

"I want you to go with me when I go on. Antoinette you have met the man I come for, tell me sister do I make a mistake?" I asked.

"So this is why you come back to America. No, you make no mistake. I can see he is Marie's papa, and I see how he look at you," she said.

"He wasn't there, for me when..." I started and was cut off.

"He was there. We could not find you when we did if he did not help us," Antoinette said.

I knew he had resources that were unparalleled, but I hadn't been aware he took an active role in the search. Thinking back I had assumed Paul and Ellen had called in markers to find me. If Richard... no, the thought made me want to cry.

"I... I will stay tonight and let the crew rest, there is no rush," I said.

No rush I wanted to see Richard now, I didn't want to wait any longer. He had been there for me when I needed him most, but hadn't allowed me to know. That was so like him, or the him I had known most of my life. How many times had he done something for me without my knowing? I had no clue, only that it happened more than anyone knew.

In the morning my flight crew was waiting when I got to the airport. Antoinette tried to talk me into spending another day in New York and I turned her down. I needed to get to Richard, I didn't want to lose anymore time without him by my side.

I got checked in at the hotel and went to lunch at Cindy's restaurant.

"Hey there stranger."

I looked up and there stood all four of my friends with big grins on their faces. I had no idea which of them had spoken only that I hoped they would all be there, I had so many things I wanted to talk with them about.

"You guys are looking great," I said.

They sat down and wine was brought out to go with the meal I ordered.

"You're here about Richard, aren't you?" Judy asked.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"I know he's working with the sheriffs' office on weekends," Paula said.

"Connie it was him and his unit that found you," Erin added.

I smiled. I already knew he was the one who used every resource he had to find me. I now understood he didn't want to believe what happened was possible, and blamed himself because he had set me aside trying to protect me. It didn't matter that it wasn't true only that he thought it was true.

We talked at length about what all had happened since last we had seen each other and the dinner crowd started showing up. I finished the wine in my glass and gave each of them a hug.

"Hey, I need to ask a favor of you that isn't going to make much sense right now, but I need your promise when the time it does make sense comes," I said.

They all stopped and looked back at me.

"Connie whatever it is you have our word," Paula said.

"Antoinette will need your help, something I couldn't do without, she won't know what is possible for her, and I won't be here to help her. I am asking your help when the time comes. I'm asking that you accept her as you have me," I said.

"Connie, Antoinette is... if we can, we'll help," Erin said.

I headed back to the hotel and laid down for a little while. Marie had stayed with Antoinette in New York, and would be here in a week. Mom and papa would be here in two weeks. So for the time being I was alone. I fell asleep and woke as it was starting to get dark. I had meant to stop in the office and let them know I was there, but knew the office was now closed so instead asked for my car just to go out above the city so I could see the lights come on.

"Miss there isn't really much to see up here," the driver said.

"Just pull over here Jim, if I am not mistaken if I walk out on that bridge I have an unobstructed view of the city. Wait here for me please," I said.

He pulled to the side and I got out and started walking to the center of the bridge. I sat on the guardrail kicking my feet over the side and watched out over the city. It seemed it had been another lifetime I had done this very thing. I had just been told of Richards engagement to someone else, so had driven up here and parked about where my limousine was now, walked out and sat just as I did now. The clothes I was wearing then were not near as nice as the ones I wore tonight, but they were the nicest I had then.

"It's a long way down Miss," he said.

I didn't turn, I didn't need to, I knew who it was, who had spoken, I wasn't sure it was going to be this night, but I hoped it would be.

"What reason do I have to care?" I asked.

"I don't know that you do have any reason to care, I do know I care though, I heard tell someone that means the world to me once came up here and sat just as you're doing now. I wasn't able to be here for her then, but I am here now," he said.

"Are you? Are you really here for her, or are you here for yourself?" I asked.

"I hope for her, but undoubtedly there is a bit of selfishness involved as well," he said.

I turned and looked up into the eyes I hadn't seen in so long. Eyes that seemed void, lost in confusion. I tried to smile and found I couldn't. A tear slipped onto my cheek then another. I sighed not in pain but in loss. So many years gone that we could have been together. So much pain suffered by both of us all because I... another tear and he was there, holding my hand tears in his eyes as well.

"Why Richard? Why did it take all this for us to find what we always had?" I asked.

He helped me to my feet and kissed me. He didn't say anything else he didn't apologize he didn't try giving me an excuse, he just pulled me into himself and kissed me. I felt a tear slid down his cheek then another. I pulled back a little and saw he was crying for the same reason I was, all those years gone we could never have back, and for what? So I could do the job I had been given so many eons ago. I didn't have to suffer as I had for that. I was committed to serve in that long ago, before the world was. No I was made to suffer for reasons I didn't know or understand.

"I love you my love, I love you," I said.

We walked back to where my car was parked and excused the driver. I didn't need a ride any longer, and as long as I had Richard with me I would never again need a chauffeur, my husband would be my driver.

"I heard you had a daughter. I was kind of hoping to see her," he said.

"Her name is Marie Monique. She has her papa's eyes, but her mothers birthmark," I said.

"She is at the hotel then?" he asked.

"No Richard she is in New York with her mom. I am here alone for the next week, then Antoinette and Marie will be here," I said.

He looked at me like I had gone mad. Marie was my daughter, yet I said she was in New York with her mom.

"Connie forgive me, but isn't maman mom in English?" he asked.

I giggled and assured him I was well aware of what I said and time would show it to be right.

"Richard, Marie is with Antoinette, my sister," I said.

So much had changed he wasn't sure who any of these people were and he knew they weren't my family at least not any family he was aware of. He knew who Antoinette was he had met her a few months before I had been kidnapped, and from what Antoinette reported he was still in regular contact with her.

"I don't know much about you any longer do I?" he asked.

"Richard do you love me? Do you really love me?" I asked.

He didn't hesitate in give his answer, an answer he didn't give with words anyone but me could hear. He leaned over and kissed me. How long I had waited for this kiss. His kiss said more than any words could have. It was filled with desire, yearning, compassion, love. I relaxed into the kiss drawing life from it, life as I had never known before. He loved me I didn't need my gift to know his heart, this kiss spoke openly about his love.

"Marie is your daughter," I said.

He didn't draw back as I had seen so many men do when they found out a girlfriends kid was theirs.

"I remember, I remember that night in the woods. I never wanted that night to end, because with the end would come separation from you. I wanted to hate you for that night but found I could only love you more," he said.

"I left Marie with Antoinette so we could have some time together, just the two of us," I said.

"You've changed since the last time you were here," he said.

"I was raped repeatedly for three months after I was here last. I cared about two things only during that three months. My daughter and her father. I almost gave up Richard, I almost gave into what they wanted," I said.

"I heard you killed the leader, a bullet at point blank range to the head," he said.

"I could have taken him before the throne. His life was given into my hands. I could have... for me to stand before the throne with someone means I witness everything and this man I could... I felt I knew what his choice would be at the throne, and I didn't want to see," I said.

"You witness everything? I had no idea. I can only imagine what that must be like for you," he said.

"Richard I have only ever taken two people before the throne. One survived, the other I didn't witness, but was ask if they chose life if I could accept them living in the world of men. Richard it was your wife I said no to, I don't know what her choice was, but I asked that she not be allowed to return to life if she chose life. She was instrumental in me being taken captive. She gave those men the information so they would be able to take me," I said.

"She told them you were pregnant didn't she?" he asked.

"My being pregnant didn't make me able to be taken as I was. She requested my gift be made unavailable to me. I knew before it happened that it would happen, but not how it would happen or when."

"The time was marked after I used the gift the first time. It was while I was at lunch. Paul visited me during lunch and asked me to give him the Kiss of Life. I knew he would ask I did not know when he would ask. I had been told when he asked I was to fulfill his request. He left me and Michael asked if I would withhold from using the gift again until the time of trial was complete. I agreed and thought nothing more of it. I went for a walk in the park to pray and asked God to forgive me for my weakness in not wanting to give the Kiss of Life."

"I found a quiet place and knelt and prayed. I heard the men looking for me and reached for the veil and nothing happened the veil was closed to me. To use my gift I must pass through the veil of time, but the veil was closed to me as it is closed to most people. The gift was unavailable to me until the day I was freed," I said.

We sat in his car talking until the radio interrupted us. His dispatch called him to see if everything was okay since they hadn't heard from him. He said he was coming in and going home since it seemed a quiet night and he didn't see any reason the tax payers should be paying for him to sit around doing nothing.

He drove back to the station and invited me to come in while he changed out of his police clothes. One of the guys I had gone to school with came in while I waited for him and seeing me stopped to talk.

"Connie isn't it?" he asked.

" _Yes,_ _I_ _am_ _Connie,_ " I said.

He looked at me funny.

"She said yes, she is Connie. Any special reason your asking Newt?" Richard asked.

"She with you Rick?" Newton asked.

I let Richard put an arm around me and pull me close to him.

"She is my fiancée," Richard said.

"I didn't even know you were seeing anyone. She's French?" Newt asked.

" _Yes,_ _monsieur,_ _I_ _am_ _French_ _citizen._ _Richard_ _and_ _I_ _got_ _engaged_ _from_ _time_ _I_ _was_ _born_."

"She doesn't speak English?" Newt asked.

"I speak English just fine Newt. I just prefer French," I said.

"You are Connie. So it is official then about the two of you?" he asked.

"I don't know it seems Richard wants to let everyone else know before he asks me," I said. Richard looked at the floor. "It's okay my love. Even before asking the answer is yes."

"You ready to go? Newt don't say anything just yet I'll let everyone know when I'm ready," Richard said.

We headed out to the parking lot and he opened the door of the truck for me to get in. "Connie I'm sorry about that. I meant to ask before saying anything," he said.

"Richard I came here to see if there was any chance of working things out with Marie's father. From what happened in there it sounds like I don't need to now," I said.

"You mean you came here to see if Bruce would..." he started to ask.

"Bruce isn't Marie's father Richard, you are." He stared at me not understanding. "Marie was conceived in love on the other side of the veil, Richard I never took Bruce on the other side of the veil. You told me you remembered that night, I thought you knew," I said.

"We are husband and wife on that side of the veil aren't we?" he asked.

"Richard on the other side of the veil of time we have been married since the day I was born on this side of the veil. You see on that side of the veil a betrothal on this side becomes a wedding," I said.

Understanding started showing in his eyes. So much he didn't know about the things of God and my part in them. Things I wasn't able to tell him because there was no reference for him to understand.

"To you we have been married as long as you have been alive then?" he asked.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe he could understand. "Yes Richard to me we have been married as long as I have been alive in this life. That is why it hurt so much when you married another woman in this life. To me it was like telling me I wasn't good enough any longer, you needed a newer model. It... all I could do was cut the bond we had and let you go. What hurt most of all was that you weren't willing to let me go as I had done for you," I said.

He didn't say anything, at least not with words. The look in his eyes said more than any words could have. The pain he had caused me weighed on him heavily. The love he had so present in that weight. I reached up and kissed him.

"Richard the past is over it is the present we have now, not the future, the present, the moment, the here and now. The past is there for us to learn from, the future for us to plan for, but it is the present we must live in. when you lead your men into action it is the moment that takes' precedence isn't it? Plans are made, but things change so those plans need to be fluid, changeable or the chances of victory are lessened, right? Life is the same, we can plan for the future using what we have learned in the past, but if our plans are fixed and unchangeable we run into problems that flexible plans wouldn't have encountered," I said.

"You really know about the special team of men I lead, don't you?" he asked.

"Of course I do Richard. I have been keeping an eye on you since I learned to use that part of my gift," I said.

After a few hours talking and dancing he took me back to my hotel. I didn't want to spend the night alone again, but in this time we weren't married and to act as though we were, would have created problems neither of us needed. I could only imagine what it would look like. I kissed him good night in the lobby and got on the elevator, he promised he would stop by in the morning. He had some business he needed to tend to for his ranch and hoped I would be willing to go with. I had business to tend to also and asked him to meet me at the motorcycle shop.
  18. ##  Chapter 16

Richard invited me to stay at his ranch until everyone arrived for our wedding which we scheduled for two months away.

I declined his offer, I didn't want anyone to view us as being improper by living together. It wasn't I cared what anyone thought about me personally, but the work I still needed to do would be made much more difficult if people viewed me as having been loose in my moral character, not that there weren't already many who did since I was an unwed mother.

When I declined his offer he suggested talking to his parents about me staying with them. I reminded him I wasn't ready to announce to anyone aside from our families just yet, about our decision to get married, and staying with them would raise questions.

I wanted to tell the world to stop. To learn not to judge on appearances and instead not judge anything. If only everyone had the ability of the gift I had been given to judge, maybe then they would learn not to judge at all.

To be able to see the truth of a persons heart meant being able to know a person even better than they knew them-self. How could I judge knowing my own motives were as corrupt as the person I was judging. No I couldn't judge another because I was not capable of determining their eternal fate, and to me passing judgment on someone meant exactly that, determining their fate for eternity.

I called Antoinette as soon as I got back to my room that first night and told her everything was working out great. She would be there in a week to help get the arrangements made and everyone invited, that Richard and I wanted invited. I asked her to allow me to call mom before she did and if she happened to talk to her first please not say anything until I had a chance.

I laid down trying to get a little sleep before calling Marie to let her know, and found myself tossing and turning unable to sleep. How long had it been since I had slept more than just a few hours? I couldn't remember, I only knew it had been since before I had been kidnapped.

I sat up after an hour of just laying there. I needed sleep but also knew tonight wasn't going to be the night for getting any.

"Mom, when will you be here? He asked me this evening to marry him," I said.

Mom knew what my answer was if he ever asked. She never said anything other than it would still be two weeks. If she feared Richard and I would move in together before we were married she never let on that she cared one way or the other.

"Mom, Richard and I have been married in the eyes of heaven since I was born," I said.

I got no reply from her. Not a yes, not a no. She never asked me what I planned, she made no comment.

"Sweetheart, I am very happy for you, that this man now wishes to take the place reserved for him so long," Marie said.

"Thank you mom. Mom I was hoping maybe you would tell me that this is not heaven and it would not be wise for me to move in with him until we are married in this life," I said.

"You wish me to tell you what you already know? I do not understand sweetheart, you are big girl now for what purpose should I tell you what you know?" she asked.

"Yes mom. I just felt you would since you know it is hard for me to not live outside this world, in a world where all that should be is already," I said.

I called mom after talking to Marie and got the kind of responses I had hoped for from Marie.

"Mom, Marie will be leaving Paris in two weeks, is there any chance you could come with her?" I asked.

"Connie I'm sure I could, but if the wedding isn't going to be for a two months Dominique won't be able to come with. I know Marie will be involved in your wedding plans more than I will, are you sure you want me there that much before the wedding?" she asked.

"You're my mom in this life, not Marie. Marie is my spiritual mom, but you are the only mom I had for eighteen years. I'm sure I want you here to help plan the wedding," I said.

"I'll be there for you Connie. Have you told your brother and sister yet?" she asked.

"Not yet, mom I talked to Marie and hoped maybe she would ask me the questions you did. I felt let down when she didn't, she said it was all things I knew better than anyone, so what was the point in her asking. You knew I already knew the things you showed concern in, but you asked anyway, how come?" I asked.

"Connie you are still my baby. I remember when I was your age and the things I did at that age. I know the stories about you, and how hard everything would be for you. I know it must be very hard for you to fit in with the everyday society having the knowledge you have, sometimes I'm sure it's harder than other times. You're still my little girl even if you can do things I can't begin to understand. I asked your brother and sister the same questions before they got married," she said.

"So it's just your way of being my mom. Thanks I always wondered why God gave me you instead of Marie for my mom in this life, I think I know now. I Love you mom," I said.

We talked for at least an hour even Dominique got on the phone for a few minutes to wish me all the happiness life can offer. I called my brother and told him, asking if there would be anyway he could be here for the wedding. He said he wouldn't miss it for anything and wished me all the best. When I called my sister I got one of the kids who said she was out at the moment, but they would have her call me as soon as she got home. She had my cell phone number so I didn't think much about it until I hadn't heard back from her after a few hours, so tried again.

"Hello!"

"Hello, I'm trying to get a hold of Chris," I said.

"Chris? I'm sorry I think you have the wrong number," the person who answered said.

"I don't have the wrong number! George you can either let me talk to my sister, or I can be there in fifteen minutes. Your choice," I said.

"Connie? This is Connie, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes George this is Connie, now is my sister there or not?" I asked.

"Hi, Connie. I just got word that idiot finally asked you to marry him," Chris said when she finally had the phone.

"Who told you Chris?" I asked.

"Brian. Connie I just got home Brian called me on my cell phone," Chris said.

"I don't have that number Chris," I said.

"Marie has it, any time I've talked to you other than at home it's been on my cell phone, why didn't you just ask her, or ask her to call me for you?" Chris said.

"Chris, Marie is still in Paris and I'm here. It would have been easier for me to have come over there than have Marie call you for me," I said.

"My niece is here? Where you staying I want to see my niece," Chris said.

"You'll have to wait a week to see my little Marie, she is still in New York with Antoinette," I said.

"You left your daughter with a stranger?" Chris asked.

"Antoinette is hardly a stranger to either me or Marie. She is my French sister. Chris Marie calls her mom," I said.

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"I forget you don't know French. I'll explain at dinner tomorrow night if you can wait till then," I said.

"Connie I don't know about this. We're on a very limited budget, and I know you prefer French food to anything else," Chris said.

"You know where Cindy's is? I have a table reserved there for tomorrow night, my treat," I said.

"I don't have anything to wear to a place like that, neither does my husband or the kids," she said.

"I guess you'll have to go shopping tomorrow then. I'll have my driver pick you up at ten in the morning," I said.

"I can't take your money any more Connie, it was bad enough when we were kids. We aren't kids anymore and your expenses must be outrageous going back and forth between France and here as much as you do," she said.

"Do you have any idea what I'm worth now days? This is just a drop in the bucket to me, not even pocket change. My car will be there at ten be ready please, there are several things we need to talk about most of which would be better discussed in person not on the phone," I said.

She tried to object further so I let her know I had a net worth of well over twenty million dollars, not counting what Fashionista was worth. She knew I was a top name designer in fashions, but it seemed she had no idea what that meant in terms of dollars. Then throw in the fact I owned the largest fashion corporation in the world and the dollar signs continued to go up.

"Chris I'm not worried about the cost of a few clothes that are my design, and a meal. The money isn't that big of a deal the time with you is," I said.

She didn't argue anymore about me spending money on her and her family, if I was worth as much as it sounded like, the little I would be spending wouldn't amount too much anyway.

I went to the bike shop and found it a mess with all the construction going on. I had the driver drop me at the building and told him I would call when I was ready to be picked up again.

"What is going on here Bruce? How are you supposed to get customers in here with this construction spread out like it is?" I asked.

"Connie I have asked the construction people to please use the area away from the building so we could get customers in and out, they get all their mess moved and a couple days later it's back like this," he said.

"Get Norm Allen here right now," I said.

We sat around talking waiting for Norm to get there and went over everything that happened since I had last been here. While we waited Richard pulled in blocking as much of the construction equipment as he could with his pickup, got out locked it and came in and sat down with Bruce and I.

"Good to see you again Bruce," Richard said.

"Richard, it has been a while since..." Bruce started.

"It hasn't been that long Bruce, think about it, Richard joined us for our little camping trip last time I was here. Hi, babe, I guess I won't need to call for my car since you're here now," I said.

"It's been even less time than that Connie. I've been keeping an eye on what's going on here, and talked to Bruce several times since you were here last," Richard said.

"I'm not interrupting am I?" Norm asked when he finally arrived.

"No Norm you're not. I have to ask what's going on here? When I bought your company to do the expansion work here you assured me you could do it without interfering in the daily operations of the shop," I said.

"We have been Connie," Norm said.

"Norm what is all the equipment out in the parking lot then? The shop here can't conduct business if its customers have nowhere to park. I'm going to be here for the next couple months and if I see one piece of construction equipment or one of your employees taking up room in this lot again I will fire you and get someone else who can keep their word. Richard, would you please move your truck and let Norm get his equipment and cars over where they belong?" I asked.

"Connie, I..." Norm started.

"You what Norm? You can't enforce this rule because some of those cars might get dirty parking in a dirt lot? Norm I could careless about those cars getting dirty, if that lot is to muddy, bring in a few dump trucks of gravel, but that equipment and the cars will be towed if they take up customer parking again. I hope I've made myself clear," I said.

"Crystal. I'll see the cars are all moved within the hour. Anyone not willing to move their car will be fired," he said.

Within an hour the parking lot was empty except for the vehicles belonging to those working in the shop.

"Thanks Connie, I hope it lasts longer this time than the dozen or so times I tried that," Bruce said.

"This has been going on since I left hasn't it? Bruce I was serious about the cars and equipment being towed if it's over here again. Any vehicle parked in this lot should belong to either a customer or employee of this shop. I purposely left that dirt lot open so Norm and his people would have a place to park. I want customer parking only signs put at the driveway, and be sure it says towing will be at owners expense. I'll get a towing company for you to call if need be," I said.

We went over a few more details and Richard and I left.

"I was hoping maybe we could stop by the car dealer and see about getting another truck. This one has seen some hard use and I could use one a little bigger," Richard said.

"That dealer there, I bought a car from them once, I'm sure they would give us a deal," I said.

"May I help... it's you, I thought..." the salesman started until he got close enough to recognize me.

"I'm not that bad am I? I was hoping maybe you could help us pick out a truck or two," I said.

"Miss Carlson, it's a pleasure having you back, if there is anything we can help you with..." Larry started.

"Larry isn't it? I was wondering Larry just what kind of deal you could make me on a couple pick-up trucks. I think we are looking for one ton or bigger," I said.

"Hmm, I'm sorry but we don't sell trucks here. If you'd like I could make a couple calls and put in a good word with a couple of the dealerships I know that do handle trucks like that," Larry said.

I looked at Richard and smiled. His expression said he was willing to let me deal with this and would be willing to step in only if he thought I was getting cheated.

"Thanks Larry I'd appreciate that," I said.

We got to the first dealership and were met as we got out of the truck.

"Miss Carlson? I'm sure we can find just what you're looking for," the salesman said.

"Do you mind if we look around first? If we find something we think may fit the bill we'll come see you, okay," I said.

We started looking at the trucks they had on the front line and quickly discounted all of them. They were either to small or didn't have the options we were looking for.

"So have you found anything you like?" the salesman asked.

"Is this all the trucks you have?" I asked.

"The biggest selection in town. If we don't have it we can get it," the salesman said.

"Really? We're looking for full size one ton or bigger with four wheel drive. You don't have anything like that here," I said.

"You're right we don't have anything like that on the lot, but we can get something like that, if you'll tell me everything you're looking for in this truck I should be able to tell you when we can have it here," the salesman said.

"If you don't have it then it will take a week or better for you to get it unless you get it from another dealer here in town. We need it now not next week, or next month which would be more likely. We'll check out the other dealers," I said.

We got back in the truck and headed for another dealer. As we came up on the other dealer we had been referred to we saw the truck Richard was looking for so pulled in and started looking at it closer.

"May I help you?"

"Tell me the best price you can give me for this truck." Richard said.

The voice had seemed familiar, but I couldn't place a name with it until I came around the truck and saw the face that went with.

"I have an idea you keep this truck and we'll look down the street, I'm sure they have something comparable," I said.

Richard looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"I..." the man stuttered.

"Lets go Richard, if he works here they don't have anything we want," I said.

"I can beat any price you find anywhere else, that is if you can find anything anywhere else," the man said.

"No you can't and I'm sure we can find what we need somewhere else Eddie," I said as his name came flooding back.

He didn't remember me, but I remembered him. I remembered how he had been one of those men who abused me for three months the last time I had been in the States.

"Miss Carlson, it is such a pleasure to see you again," someone else said.

"What is he doing here?" I asked.

"Eddie why don't you go do what you were supposed to be doing. "Miss Carlson, Eddie is the grounds keeper, he's my brother-in-law, and it was that, or have trouble at home," the new man said.

"He doesn't remember me does he?" I asked.

Richard looked at me again as though wondering just what happened that the guy who came up to us would make me so angry. He didn't voice his thoughts, but didn't hide them in how he carried himself. I never offered an explanation, I didn't see any need and this wasn't the place anyway.

"Right now he is trying to work his way back to the sales floor. So is there something I can show you?" the man offered.

Richard wanted to take the truck we looked at for a ride, I started looking for a truck I might consider for my villa. I'd looked at the trucks they had in France and knew I would need to look here in the States if I hoped to find anything like what I was hoping for. The trucks in France weren't bad just not what I wanted. They lacked horse power, muscle to do what I wanted. I wanted something I wasn't afraid to take off the road for starters, and big enough to pull a stock trailer with a couple of the bulls I had. None of the trucks I had seen in Paris would work for both jobs, and I wanted just one vehicle.

I found the one I wanted in a catalog and asked when it could be ready. Jim said he didn't have anything in stock and said it would take two to three months to order it in.

Two to three months? Two months I could do easily enough three would be pressing things. I asked if there was anyway he could guarantee two months, I wasn't sure I would be able to wait three or longer. He said he would call the factory rep and see what he could do, but wasn't sure it would be possible.

"Jim I want that truck if you can't have it for me in two months can you ship it to me in Paris?" I asked.

He gave me a look I found so comical. "Paris? I've never done business on an international scale. I'm not sure how to even go about something like that," he said.

I assured him I could handle the arrangements of getting the truck to Paris, but would need to know as soon as it was in. We started filling out the paper work to order the truck when Richard pulled up.

"That truck is just what I'm looking for," he said.

"Add it into the bill for mine," I said.

In another room I heard someone talking about another truck and started listening to what was being said.

"Richard do you have any idea who those people are in the other room?" I asked.

"It sounds like my neighbor. I know they don't have the money for a new truck that was part of the reason I was getting one. I talked to them and told them my old truck would hold up if they were willing to give me a chance to get another one they could have it," Richard said.

"Jim can you find out what truck it is they're looking at and how much short they are in being able to get it?"

"Connie he's never going to accept you paying the difference."

"If he doesn't know I am paying the difference he won't be able to object very well, will he?" I asked.

Everything was set, the price of the truck Richards neighbors wanted was reduced to a price they could afford while the dealer didn't have to absorb the cost. I paid for my truck, Richards new truck, and the balance of Richards neighbors truck. I knew when Antoinette saw the charge on my card she was going to have a fit. But this was my own personal money and there was little she could do or say to make me change how I dealt with my personal finances.

We had the dealership deliver the new truck to the ranch while we headed over to the bike shop again. As we pulled up I noticed several cars back blocking the parking lot of the shop and knew the only way they would be moved would be to have them towed.

"Bruce! What's going on here why are those cars back blocking the parking here?" I asked.

"Nobody seems to know who they belong to. I've already called for them to be towed, but the tow company said they only had one truck available," Bruce said.

"Get them on the phone for me." While someone was calling the towing company I asked about the motorcycle I told Bruce I wanted, I was hoping it would be ready to go.

"The towing company's on the phone Bruce," the receptionist said.

I grabbed the phone and asked who I was talking to. They gave their name and asked what they could do for me.

"June this is Connie Carlson. Your company assured me you could handle any towing we had. We have some cars that need to be towed and I just found out you only have one truck available to tow them. I find this unacceptable, you can either find more trucks for towing these cars off my property or I'll start looking for another towing company who is interested in getting the money I'm paying to have unauthorized vehicles removed from my property," I said.

"Ma'am, we have several trucks but never dedicate more than one truck to any job," June said.

"I see. Thank you June you've just said the one thing to insure what I'll be doing," I said.

I hung up the phone and called my offices. "Scott please, this is Connie." While I waited for Scott I asked Bruce to show Richard around, and to see about getting my bike finished.

"Connie what can I do for you?" Scott asked.

"What company do we use to tow unauthorized cars?" He gave me the name of the tow company I had just talked to. "Scott I want to know do we own that company?" He said we did. "Thank you Scott. I'm in town, but won't be stopping by the office this week. See that an office is set up for me for Monday won't you," I said.

Richard and Bruce got back as I hung the phone back up. "Bruce you're coming with us." I handed a piece of paper with an address on it to Richard.

"Who is June?" I asked when we arrived at the towing company.

"I am, is there something I can do for you ma'am?" June asked.

"Yes June there is. You can either dispatch every truck to my bike shop, or you can clean out your desk." I said.

"June doesn't have that authority. Just what makes you think you can come in here giving orders like that?" a man said coming out of another office.

"Who owns this company?" I asked.

"We're a subsidiary of Fashionista Inc," the man said.

"Yes you are, so now that we have that out of the way who owns Fashionista Inc?" I asked.

"I have no idea, I only know they are out of New York," the man said.

"The corporate headquarters are in New York, but the owner lives in Paris. Let me give you a little friendly advice, the owner of Fashionista Inc grew up here, her name is Connie Carlson," I said.

June's face went pale as I said my name. "Miss Carlson I'll see to it those cars are moved as quickly as possible," she said.

"Thank you June as soon as you have them moved you can start moving into your new office. Isn't that right Mr Morris," I said.

"New office. What new office?" Mr Morris asked.

"The one you are vacating. Mr Morris it doesn't matter that I own this company and asked for the trucks to clear the customer parking of another company I own you weren't going to allow anymore than one truck for the job. For that reason and that reason alone you no longer need to worry about what trucks are dispatched where or when. Instead, you need to worry about where you will work, because it sure as hell isn't for a Fashionista Inc company any longer," I said.

"You can't fire me the contract I signed said I would..." he started.

"Mr Morris do you really want to challenge me?" I took out my phone and called Scott. "Scott pull the contract we have from buying Morris Towing. Tell me does it say anywhere in that contract that I cannot fire Mr Morris if I feel he is not doing his job, or showing preference to certain customers?" I said.

I looked over at Mr Morris as I waited for Scott to give me the answer I already knew. Mr Morris went in his office and came back holding a copy of the contract.

"Right here it says that..." he started.

"That if at anytime an officer of Fashionista Inc sees or has knowledge of miss conduct of any of its employees that officer has the right and responsibility to terminate that employee. Mr Morris you are no longer an employee of this company and I will give you one hour to vacate the premises, after that time I will have you arrested for trespassing," I said.

He looked from the contract to me as I quoted what it said. He turned and headed back to the office and started packing his things. He came to the realization that I wasn't someone to try playing games with, that I knew my company policies and I held everyone of my employees to those policies.

"June as soon as Duane is gone please get set up in your new office. You might want to familiarize yourself with Fashionista corporate policies, Bruce would be the head officer for the corporation if he had the experience with the corporation, since he doesn't Scott is my corporate head here, any questions talk to Scott his office is at the Fashionista offices here," I said.

Since I still had Scott on the phone I asked him to send someone over to help June get acquainted with how we did things and see she was up to the task of running one of our companies. As I hung up the phone Richard looked at me and smiled.

"You knew what he was doing, didn't you?" he asked.

"Of course I knew, when I got here I already knew what was likely to happen, but hoped what I suspected was wrong. Richard I sometimes hate being who I am, life would be so much easier if I could go back to being that scared little kid we both knew so long ago," I said.

"A lot of things have changed since then Connie. For both of us. You've become one of the worlds most Powerful business people and I've become one of the worlds most deadly military commanders. Neither of us wanted any of what happened, and you never knew anything about who you would be just as I never knew what a fool I would be," he said.

"A fool? No Richard you're not a fool. Foolish at time yes, but a fool? Never," I said.

Bruce said he would stay and help get the towing company set up with the changes and insure Duane left. I told him I wanted my bikes ready first thing in the morning if not both at least the bigger one. Richard took me out to lunch where I introduced him to Erin and the gang.
  19. ##  Chapter 17

Antoinette arrived on Friday while Richard and I were out on the bike. When my phone rang I had Richard pull over so I could hear.

"Yes, sister, we will be there as soon as we can, right now we are across town," I said.

"I take it Antoinette just landed. I thought she wasn't due for another hour," Richard said.

" _Yes,_ _Richard,_ _but_ _the_ _aircraft_ _made_ _great_ _time_ _and_ _Marie_ _wanted_ _to_ _see_ _her_ _mom_ _and_ _dad_ ," I said.

He gave me a strange look and I realized I had said it in French. I didn't think about it I knew he preferred me speaking English so he didn't have to think about what I was saying.

"Richard you really do need to work on your French it is all Marie knows. Since she was born in France I felt she should learn French first, and haven't gotten around to teaching her English yet," I said.

We headed for the hotel so I could spend some time with Antoinette and let Richard meet his daughter. Antoinette was already in her room when we arrived. When Richard walked in the room Marie ran up to him with her arms open calling papa, papa. He scooped her up and gave her a hug. They had never met in this life, yet they each, knew who the other was.

I smiled at Antoinette as she watched totally perplexed at what she saw taking place.

"Sister how?" Antoinette asked.

"They are father and daughter, is it wrong they know?" She gave me a dirty look saying she did not understand. "Marie has a birthmark like mine the woman praying. As her mom she is a Daughter of Life. Unlike her mom she has been learning what it is to be a Daughter of Life. I had no one to teach me I have taught her what I can, but I will not be here to finish her training. So her papa and mom will have to do what they can to see she learns," I said.

Again the strange look. Antoinette knew Marie called her mom, when she first became aware she seemed perplexed not willing to have her sisters daughter call her mom. After a year of Marie calling her mom she surrendered to accepting, she too, was Marie's mom.

I never seemed to have a problem with my daughter calling Antoinette mom, but then I had seen what the future held for my daughter and myself. I knew Antoinette would be Marie's mother for most of her life, and that I, while her birth mother wouldn't have the chance to see my daughter live to an age she could take over for me as the Daughter of Life. She wouldn't be the next Daughter of Life that was reserved for another. Someone who would come into Antoinette and Richards life after I was gone and before Marie would be old enough to really have any concept of what she was born to.

Richard started to say something and before getting much of anything out looked over at me and frowned. "My love?" he asked.

"Richard I showed you what will be, I can't show you again. Antoinette also has seen, but does not remember. Marie knows Antoinette is her aunt, but has always called her mom, she knows Antoinette will be her mom before much longer," I said.

Richard gave me a strange look. What I said made so little sense to him, and I knew no matter how I tried to explain would only make things more incomprehensible. We agreed not to talk about it further, and he agreed not to correct Marie if that was what I wanted.

Over the next week I spent as much time as I could with both Richard and Marie. The bond they shared with each other was so incredible to watch. With Marie, Richard soon found I hadn't taught her any English so he worked very hard to improve his French. By the end of the week he was using French even with me and his understanding grew considerably. I wasn't sure he fully understood once we were married we would be living in France, if he did he didn't seem to care, it seemed his only care was for Marie and myself.

When mom and papa arrived he let them stay at his ranch and gave orders to the men they were to see mom and papa were able to go anywhere they wished. We left the new truck for them to get around in and we took the motorcycles.

Everything was going so well it was hard to realize the trouble that brewed. The day of the wedding was such a nice day, when the phone rang we were all startled. The phone was Ellen's and as she answered I remembered the vision.

The call was to let her know her brother Paul had been shot. As soon as the wedding was over he went straight to the airport, he said he needed to get back to New York something about a business deal he was working on. He was shot as soon as he stepped out of his car at the airport.

Ellen turned white as the news sank in. With Paul in the hospital on life support she was now the boss of her family. She asked my permission to leave so she could be with Paul in case there was anything they might need from her.

"Ellen he is your brother, go he needs you more than we do. Ellen give him my love," I said.

"Connie surely you could..." Ellen started to said.

"No, I wish I could but I can't. Ellen for me to Kiss him would mean death for him to this life. Do you remember the day Mario kidnapped me? At lunch that day he asked me to give him the Kiss of Life. If I were to give him the Kiss again it would kill him more surely than that bullet," I said.

She hadn't been aware of the rules of the Kiss, but there was no reason she should have been. The helicopter was brought in for her to use getting to the hospital. I knew the most likely outcome as soon as I was aware of what the call was, but it was still important she get to him as quickly as she could.

The party lasted a few more hours and ended with Richard and I leaving for our honeymoon.

"This isn't going to be much of a honeymoon with both of us being on call," Richard said.

"Richard our honeymoon won't be anything like we talked about. Not because we are on call, but because I am expecting a phone call almost any time. A call that will change everything you thought you knew about me. With this call you will find out just who I am fully, something you haven't seen before, something I hoped and prayed would never have to be. Richard you will see what it means for me to be the Daughter of Life," I said.

The phone rang as we finished gathering what we planned for our camping trip honeymoon.

"Hello."

"Sweetheart, someone wishes to speak with you," Marie said.

"Mom how long? The men showed up just after Richard and I left, no?" I asked.

"Yes sweetheart," she said.

"I'll be there mom. Don't worry I'll be there for you." The men who had taken mom and papa took the phone from mom.

"Twenty million dollars, we'll call back tomorrow with where," the man said.

The phone went dead, but it didn't matter I had no intention of giving the money to these men. It wasn't the money they wanted it was me, they knew Paul was a friend of mine and they were out to destroy Ellen and Paul's family however they could.

I called Antoinette and asked her to start getting the money together, but also to get to Paris as soon as she could I didn't need to be worrying about her and my daughter as well as mom and papa.

"Richard I need you more now than I have ever needed anyone, I need to know just what your team of experts can do to help me here," I said.

"Tell me what you need Connie. If it's a location I can have it for you within five minutes the next time they call. If you want I can have my men take out the people who..." he started to tell me.

"No Richard you can't. The men doing this are American citizens your unit is military and this country is not under marshal law. I need to know where they are holding mom and papa I can handle it from there. Richard I want you by my side on this, but I can tell you now what I see you will see. What I feel you will feel. You will know my judgments as though you made them yourself. Can you do this Richard? Can you handle knowing what it means to be Deaths Mistress in a way you have never imagined before?" I asked.

He looked at me not understanding what I was saying, but wanting to give me assurance he could handle what ever I could. He called in a few of the men in his command and had them set up to trace moms phone to its current location. It seemed the men holding mom and papa didn't know better than to use a camp site that would leave them blind to us being able to walk in to their camp and free mom and papa without much problem.

"Connie they are not far from where we were headed, if we get some horses we could ride there in a couple hours from my... our place," Richard said.

"No Richard we will drive the truck there, but we do need to stop at the ranch and pick up a few things first," I said.

He had no idea what it was I had in mind, but since I seemed to know how to deal with these men he followed my lead. At the ranch we packed a rifle each, along with side arms, hunting knifes, and standard camping gear. Richard drove up to the camp ground moms phone had been tracked to and pulled in a camping spot close to the end of the camp ground.

We got out the binoculars and rifles strapping the side arms on and started hiking through the camp ground. Most of the camping places were empty so locating the one they were in wasn't difficult finding a way in undetected was going to be harder.

We crossed the stream and started up the other side figuring on crossing back once we got above the campsite they were in. we rounded a bend in the stream and I slipped making a little more noise than was advisable for trying to sneak anywhere. A couple of the men were by the stream and heard the noise so one headed our direction while the other went back to their camp.

Richard headed off a little ways so if the guy saw one of us he wouldn't see the other of us, as he got out of sight of me he slipped drawing the mans attention in his direction giving me the opportunity to come up behind him and dispatch him without him sounding an alarm.

When I cut his throat I used enough force on the knife to completely sever his head from his body. Seeing his head laying there gave me an idea how to scare the remaining men making it easier to rescue mom and papa. Richard went back to the truck and got several of the bungee cords he kept in the truck all the time. We made a slingshot of sorts out of the bungee cords, and launched the severed head into the camp. We already knew where mom and papa were in the camp, and over heard mom telling the men they didn't understand who they were dealing with in thinking they could get me to pay them for mom and papas safe return when I already knew that paying the money wouldn't get them back safely.

One of the men was standing near the cook pot they had over the fire as the head dropped into the pot. They all looked around when the head hit and knocked the pot over and fear shown in their eyes as they realized the head belonged to the man who had wanted to check out a noise. The man standing near mom drew his gun and went down soundlessly, the man by the cook pot drew his gun and started looking in the opposite direction we were in and went down without a sound as well. The only man left threw his gun on the ground and showed signs of running but couldn't decide which direction to go so stood there with a look of pure terror in his eyes.

Richard and I walked into the camp and while I checked on mom and papa Richard restrained the man.

"Monsieur you will tell us what we ask to know," I said.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Ah, Monsieur, you have mom call and tell me she has been taken and if I wish to see her again I will pay twenty million dollars, and you do not know who I am? Tsk tsk tsk. You really should know the people you make threats against before making those threats," I said.

"If I were you I would tell her what she wants to know. I wouldn't try lying either if you don't know the answer admit it, or be willing to pay the price of lying," Richard said.

"You I know, her I don't. Let me guess the great Richard Evans is afraid of this woman. I always knew you were nothing but stories," the man said.

"Afraid of Connie Evans? No, I'm not afraid of her, I have no reason to be afraid of her. You on the other hand have every reason to fear her, after all she is the Daughter of Life, or in this case the real Deaths Mistress," Richard said.

Fear entered the mans eyes at the words Daughter of Life. He likely didn't know much of anything other than the stories, but he had been told those stories enough he had an idea of who I was. When Richard mentioned that I am also the true Deaths Mistress, the fear turned to horror. Before I was able to ask even one question he told me what family he was with and where he ranked in that family. He identified each of the men who had been with him trying to tell me one of those we killed was the son of the family leader he was part of.

"You wish to have me believe I killed the wrong man by killing him not you? Monsieur, I do not make so silly mistake as to kill the wrong man, it is who I am to know the truth of the heart of men. Do you wish monsieur to change this part so you do not have to explain to God why you give a poor child a lie, when the truth can set you free of condemnation," I said.

"What? I don't understand what you're saying," the man said.

"Connie perhaps it would be best if this clown doesn't understand French for me to ask the questions," Richard said.

"Yes, my love. It may be better you ask as my English she is no so good right now," I said.

I knew my English was bad at the moment and this was something I didn't understand. Yes I was holding the Power that was granted me and I knew it affected my ability to speak in English, but it hadn't been this bad in a very long time. Not only was I having trouble speaking English I was having trouble understanding it as well. I understood Richard fine, but this guy was hard to understand, and I wanted more than anything to give him the Kiss and be done with it. I was sure I knew what he would say. Who he worked for, and the reason behind this attack. I knew this man was the son of one of the crime bosses, but I wasn't sure which one he was the son of and had to struggle with myself and the gift when I found out.

He was indeed the son of one of the big crime bosses, but he wasn't the only one. The three men we had killed were sons of crime bosses as well. I thought I was facing one family and with the information we got from this man I found I was facing all of them. When the bosses found out I had killed their sons this would seem as nothing to what I could end up facing.

Richard asked him so many questions but not the one I needed the answer to.

"Monsieur how many are you?" I asked.

He looked at me strangely. Richard gave me a look and finally understood what I meant.

"How many teams like this are there?" Richard asked.

He looked at Richard then at me and turned back to Richard.

"I can't tell you that they'll kill me," the man said.

I stood up and walked over to him. "Monsieur tell, or they will not have chance to destroy you." I had drawn even more on the Power of Life, so my voice took on an echo that shook him to the bone.

"Who are you?" he asked.

" _To_ _you_ _I_ _am_ _known_ _as_ _Deaths_ _Mistress,_ _to_ _others_ _I_ _am_ _known_ _as_ _The_ _Guardian_ _of_ _Life_ ," I said.

"What did she say?" the man asked.

Richard repeated what I said, "To you she is Deaths Mistress to others The Guardian of Life. If you value your life talk, or there will be nothing left for you in this life. My wife is the Daughter of Life, the Sister of Life, and right now she is holding the Power of Life so lying to her is not possible," Richard said.

The mans eyes went wide as I reached out my hand toward him.

"There are six total. With this team there were six teams. We didn't know we were facing the Chosen of God, if we had we would have never taken the job. My friends she gave them the Kiss?" he asked.

"No monsieur, I no Kiss them with the Kiss of Life. They stand before judgment without me, so I no see the sins they cling to, only God and they see what is their sin," I said.

He didn't need Richard to translate for him this time, he knew they had stood before God by themselves without the options I give. He didn't beg for my mercy he simply looked at the ground as though resigned to whatever fate life gave him.

"Monsieur today you have receive a new chance to find mercy. Seek God with your heart forever and you will live. Seek no God and death is already with you," I said.

I turned from him and cut off the heads of the other men, and told Richard the fathers of each man must be visited with the message of Life. Until the teams were no longer a threat to anyone I would be holding the Power of Life.

Each of the heads where put on ice for the trip to New York, the man we left alive was given instructions to let his father know the families were no more, the Daughter of Life was taking a stand and wouldn't rest until the threat was gone. He was told that had the families not killed Paul and made threats against me and my family they could have continued, but the threats had been made and Paul Merino a personal friend of the Daughter of Life was now dead to this life. So the families were now in essence dead as well, only God could stop the death of the families now.

He made the call while we were still there giving his father the message and turning pale at his fathers response.

"Pardon me monsieur." I held my hand out for him to hand me the phone.

"Hello! I am the Daughter of Life, you are the father of Mr. Napolitano?" I asked.

The answer I got back was one of shocked surprise. "My son said you sparred his life while killing those he was with. He said he did not even know there was a threat until the head of one of his friends came flying into the camp. Is this so?" the man asked.

"Yes monsieur, it is as he say. All he tell you is as I tell him to say. The families are no more to do business, or they will see the Mistress of Death in their door. This is no a threat, the families make threat against me and I am willing to let this end with no more blood. The time of the families is no more," I said.

"I cannot speak for the other families only for my family. I would wish to see you Daughter of Life, but in this life only, I have no desire to stand before the throne before time," the man said.

"I will be in New York soon let the families know they will face my wrath, if they are in business still when I arrive," I said.

Richard and I headed for New York that afternoon. He contacted his unit to have them meet us in New York and we would give them the information there. I didn't let Ellen know I was coming and when we landed there was no one to meet us as there usually would have been. I wasn't in New York on Fashionista business and hadn't used my airplane to get to New York. I hadn't flown commercial since I returned to France before I had been kidnapped, this time was no exception. Richard insisted on using his units aircraft, which for all practical purposes was smaller than my airplane but had equipment mine didn't have.

"I shouldn't be on this airplane should I?" I asked.

"If I can't trust you who can I trust? Technically, no, you aren't allowed on here, but I know you already know about everything so I'm making an exception," Richard said.

We headed to the home of the larger of the families whose sons had died first. At the home we walked in past the security as though they weren't there. I thought of the time I walked in to the Presidents office with Erin, Judy, Paula, and Cindy in tow. How we walked past all the security without any of them knowing we were there.

We entered the bedroom of the head of the family and I set the head of his son on the pillow next to him and crossed to the foot of the bed and waited.

"What now?" Richard asked.

"Now we wait. He'll wake soon enough," I said.

About ten minutes later he rolled over face to face with his sons head.

"Monsieur the debt you owe has been paid in the life of your son. Let the debt be clear between you and me, and the debt you owe God can wait for time of Gods choosing," I said.

He sat up and saw the head of his son resting on the pillow next to him. He looked around with fear and panic in his eyes and movements. He started looking around trying to understand not aware Richard and I were there.

I repeated what I said as he had first woken. "Monsieur the debt you owe has been paid in the life of your son. Let the debt be clear between you and me, and the debt you owe God can wait for time of Gods choosing." Then added, "the time is for you to choose, let this be the end of hostilities, or face the judgment of God. I am the Daughter of Life, the Mistress of Death," I said.

He looked at me and turned very pale, he knew death was waiting, but could not see death in me. He tried to call out and nothing, his words died before they could find wind to carry them.

"Help is not here monsieur. I am the Mistress of Death, the Daughter of Life. Your son died carrying out a fools' errand, one set by you and the other families. Do you think to have power over the Daughter of Life? Do you believe the Mistress of Death will answer to the will of man? I tell you only one does she who is both listen to and respect and he is the God of creation, the one who chose her before the foundations of the earth were laid. No monsieur, you cannot have power over she who was Chosen, for her Power is of Creation, she was charged with Life and Death," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I tell you already who I am, do you not hear?" I asked.

"There is no such person she is stories told to keep children in line nothing more. I don't know how you got in here, but you will pay for that with your life," he said.

I looked at him with sadness, this man did not understand, I was who I said and the only life that would be lost would be his if he did not bow before God seeking forgiveness.

"Monsieur, your men are outside this door they already are mourning the loss of your son will you give them yet more to mourn? Cannot the loss of your son be enough blood?" I asked.

The rage built in him until he picked up the head of his son and threw it at me. As his hands released the head it vanished and we were standing in the throne room of God.

"Monsieur choose which you will have," I said pointing at two tables, one heavily laden the other containing a blood stained rag. "The Kiss of Life it is not an easy thing to bare, you have chosen the Kiss over peace, now you must choose. One table leads to life the other to death eternal," I said.

"This is no test I choose the table with the riches of the world," the man said.

"Father I never knew him!" a voice called out.

The table with the rag vanished and the treasure he had chosen showed for what it was, the corruption of the world. I looked at Richard and we were back in the car on the way to the next crime bosses home. Again we walked into the bedroom of the crime boss passing his men on the way and not one of them stopping us or offering a challenge of any kind.

I set the head of his son on the pillow next to him and stepped back to the foot of the bed where Richard waited.

"I had no idea the Power you held dear," Richard said.

"My love the Power she is no mine, I can no walk from what is to be done, I ask you do you love me still? Now you have see what is asked of me, do you still love me?" I asked.

"Madam please I beg you let my papa live," a young girl said, entering the room.

"Sweetheart the choice is no mine if he live or die. I seek peace and truth, if you papa can accept peace and truth he live, if he choose lie and conflict he die, he make the choice no I," I said.

"Please Madam he tries to be good, I know he does," the girl said.

He rolled over touching the head, sitting up right. He started looking around, horror in his eyes, he knew what the head was and whose head it was.

"Daughter of Life, I know you can hear me. I fear what this means, but feel the need to say I did not send him. When the call came I refused and my son took my place at the head of the family," the man said.

"Monsieur I seek only peace between you and me. I seek the things of the past remain in the past. This night you have a choice to make monsieur. Your daughter beg for you to no feel the Kiss of Life, but the choice it is yours to make. Close your business and live in peace, or you will feel the Kiss of Life this night," I said.

"Madam please, may I go to my papa now, he will do as you ask," the girl said.

The fear was still there in his eyes. Though he as yet could not see Richard or me. His daughter started toward him and he told her to stop.

"Rachel no, do not come near, she is here I can still feel her presence, but I cannot tell where and I don't want you to be hurt," the man said.

"You fear for the girl is admirable monsieur, but she have no reason to fear me, her heart is true. Only those who are marked for the Kiss can be hurt by the Kiss. Monsieur do you choose peace and truth, do you stop the business I speak of?" I asked.

"If I say yes?" he asked.

"You will call the men on the paper your daughter hold and tell them the offer, warn them they are on the list for me to visit, that if they will do as you they need not worry," I said.

He agreed to the terms I gave and called the other crime bosses. He then gave the orders that all illegal operations were to be stopped immediately. With each call to a crime boss he shook as though afraid.

"Fear no monsieur I protect you now. The angels of God watch over you and you will not die until the time mark for your days when you born," I said.

Richard and I both became visible as I said he need not fear. As he was able to see us recognition came into his eyes of who Richard was.

"The Daughter of Life and the head of Deaths Mistress, now I understand," the man said.

"No sir you don't. Yes she is my wife, but she is also Deaths Mistress in a way I could never be," Richard said.

He gave a puzzled look.

"Monsieur I have three titles for what I am called of God to do. I am Sister of Life, Daughter of Life, and Mistress of Death. Those who receive the Kiss of Life and survive are Chosen of God for they understand the things of God. Those who feel the Kiss of Life must choose life or eternal death. Monsieur in this you will not feel the Kiss of Life, the judgment will wait when you time is no more in this life," I said.

"You are the Chosen, the one who will bring peace into the world, the one the stories tell about. I thought you nothing but stories to scare children," he said.

"Yes monsieur, I am Chosen as you say, but another brings peace in preparation for the end. I have blood on my hands so peace is not mine to bring. The Daughter of Love bring peace, she still is no known to the world, but I know her. The world will no understand her, but I understand her. The time she will work is after I am not here, but she is ready even now for her time," I said.

Rachel didn't know what all I said, she only knew her father was safe for the moment. She'd heard the stories of who I am, and had accepted them as truth thus the ability to see Richard and I long before her father.

"Rachel a time come when you will be called to serve. Will you accept the call? The person you will assist will be in great need for a friend who is true," I said.

"How will I know when?" she asked.

"How did you know to see my love and I, even when you papa could not?" I asked.

"I saw as you came by my room. I don't know why I looked out, but I knew I needed to," she said.

"You will know when the time is in a manner like tonight. You will just know. Will you accept the call?" I asked.

"She will be beautiful like you won't she? Her and I are about the same age now too huh?" she asked.

I giggled, she didn't need me to answer anymore than I needed her to answer.

"Sweetheart God hold a special place for you, he watch over you all your life," I said.
  20. ##  Chapter 18

The other crime boss was not in New York and no one seemed to know where he was. Arrangements were made for me to meet with all the bosses in town with the hope I wouldn't seek more than any were willing to give.

I walked into the meeting with Richard and one of the men at the table stood up and started to leave.

"Monsieur if you try to go through door you will be dead before it opens fully," I said.

I walked around the room and stopped at the chair the man had just vacated. I patted the back of the chair and looked at the man again.

"Monsieur I am Sister of Life, Daughter of Life, and Mistress of Death. Do you wish to see the Power of God manifest through me?" I asked.

He returned to the seat I stood behind and again sat.

"Messieurs, today the life of the crime is no more. I do not wish anymore blood should be spilled, but if the crime does not stop here now those who men still do the crime will feel the Kiss of Life. You have all hear the stories, I tell you the stories are true, but they do no tell all. The stories are about the Mistress of Death. I say to you though I am the Daughter of Life, I am the Mistress of Death, as well," I said.

They all looked up as I told them I am the Daughter of Life, but more I am also the Mistress of Death. They had all heard the stories and all had seen them as stories to scare children only. It had been so long since a Daughter of Life had exercised the gift she had they no longer knew the Power of the Daughter of Life, as far as they knew there was no such person. I took out the head of the one whose father was not there and set it on the table.

Each of them looked at the head and retched. "This man was one who thought the Daughter of Life did no exist. He face God alone I no give him the Kiss of Life. I no offer to him the choice of life or death eternal. I do no have knowledge of what he do when he stand at the throne of judgment. I no see what treasures he have make for him in heaven. He die by my hand, at my word he is no more in this life," I said.

"If you are who you say we have no Power that could have any effect against you. I don't believe that because I know you were held not once, but twice, and needed outside help to get free," one of the bosses said.

"Yes I was held against my will, and yes others did work to free me. If you ask those who were there when I became free they will all tell you I was already free when they arrive," I said.

He sat back down and looked down at his hands, he knew what I said was true, the timing of my release was moments before those seeking me arrived.

Another stood as to say something and looked around and sat again. Each of them knew who I was, they knew they could not find a way around what I was demanding of each of them, but didn't want to be the first to voice agreement with closing down their illegal operations. They didn't want to be seen as weak, as having a woman be stronger than they and their organizations.

"Messieurs, to do what is right is no easy, it take more courage and strength to do what is right, are you all so weak you can no see this?" I asked.

I offered to leave the room so they could discuss among themselves what they would do and the best way to go about it.

"Mistress it is not you we object to being here as much as it is him," he pointed at Richard. "We know who he is and know that by admitting to you anything in his presence face the government with possible prosecution and jail time."

"Messieurs, I assure you what is say here in this room will no be say anywhere outside this room. Richard is my husband, my love. He will no risk my displeasure in this. The words that are say in this room will be remember only by me and the person who say them, unless they are words that should be remember by all. No confession made here will leave here. If I or Richard leave so you can talk all words will be remember by all and Richard will know all words as well. I will no protect what is said," I said.

"So this room is bugged?"

"Yes the listening devices are many in this room. As long as I am here they can not work, it is not time the world know who I am, and what is given me to do," I said.

The men looked around at each other they all knew of the bugs they had planted and were curious why my threats had not been responded to by their men. If as I said was true it would explain a lot. Their men hadn't made any response because they never heard anything that had been said.

"Messieurs, the listening devices work they just no hear what is say correctly. They hear that we have lunch and enjoy each other conversation," I said.

The meeting continued for another hour each of the bosses stating their concerns, about one another breaking the agreement.

"Enough! This agreeing will no be broken, to break this agreeing will mean the withdrawal of the protection I give. It mean the Kiss of Life on the one who dare not to keep their word to me. Which of you wishes to account before God? The Kiss of Life make the receiver do just so, it take you before the throne to give account for this life. It is called the Kiss because it is Life for anyone who have receive the Kiss and choose what is right before God. Only one have choose Life who have receive the Kiss from me. In choosing right he again return to this life, he change his heart in this life and change many things. He is no more in this life because others fear him, not because of the Kiss of Life."

"What are the choices with the Kiss of Life?" on of them asked.

"The choices are Life or Death. From when you were small boys you were teach what is Life and what is Death, only one choose Life who receive the Kiss from me," I said.

The men all decided to take my offer, I hadn't said anything about them paying back the money to those they had stolen it from only that from this day on they would not steal anymore.

There was still the matter of the other teams out looking for me, men who had severed ties with the families to undertake the assignment so nothing could be tracked back to the families, or so they had believed.

"My love. Are your men so good they find these teams and disable them before they can harm those I love?" I asked.

"I don't know dear, I think they are, but I really don't know," Richard said.

"I wish to go home my love. I wish to return to my France. I have enough of America," I said.

"I'll have my men start cleaning things up here. We need to go back to mom and dads and take care of a few things there then we can go to France and I promise you won't ever have to come back to America again if you don't want," he said.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek letting him know I appreciated the thought, but we both knew I had to at least come to New York once a year. I wondered how his French was, would he be able to live with only French? Would my villa ever really be home for him in my lifetime? I wanted to believe it would, but I really didn't know. I did know my children would grow up there that the villa would be their home. I knew how much Antoinette loved my villa, and I knew how much I had come to love the villa.

"Connie is it over now? Is the Mistress of Death now retired?" Richard asked.

"No my love, the Mistress of Death is not done, but she is no more for a long time now. When our children are in school she will be needed again. Many things will be different then, do not hope she come soon. When she comes again what you saw me do is nothing to what she will do. My love stay by her side, love her always," I said.

Marie and Philip wanted to stay and take care of Richards ranch, I knew they would, I knew Marie was hoping to retire and since her mother had moved back to America I knew Marie wanted to spend more time with her. On Richards ranch grand-mama would be able to stay with Marie.

"Mom take care of grand-mama. Cali can help me until you are ready to return to work."

"I love you sweetheart. I am so proud of you," Marie said.

We flew back to Paris the morning after talking to mom and her saying she wanted to stay in America with grand-mama. The first leg to New York we decided to stop and spend the day. Richards men were looking into finding the remainder of the men who had sworn never to rest until Fashionista was no longer. In a way they were after me and yet it was my company they hated even more than me. Before I had taken over they had an inside through the board of directors. Ellen and I worked together to shut that opening and insure no one would ever have access to influence the company in such a way again.

I called Antoinette once we were in the air and had decided to not make the full trip to Paris in one day.

"Hello sis, I love you," I said.

We talked a few minutes and I asked if the corporate apartment was available or if she would have room for my little family. She let me know Cali was using the apartment, but she had plenty of room and was excited to have the chance to again have Marie around if only for one day. I asked her how Cali was working out with the added responsibility of being Antoinette's personal assistant.

"Connie she is a dream. It is like I do nothing and she does all my work for me. I think of something and she already has it done," Antoinette said.

"I guess you don't want to give her up then?" I asked.

"Only if it is so she can be challenged so she does not lose interest," Antoinette said.

"Mom wants to stay with grand-mama, I was hoping to get Cali to be my personal assistant, but if you..." I said.

"She will be excited to again live in France, now I am jealous," Antoinette said.

"So you don't mind then?" I asked.

"She is very good, but I do not need someone who takes so much of my work I have nothing to do. She is your assistant and you will see she is not mom, but she is very good," Antoinette said.

We made arrangements for her to join me on my flight back to Paris. We opted not to let her know until we arrived back home that she was to be my assistant, I knew if Antoinette said she was good she was better than just good and would be able to handle most everything I needed her to handle. I didn't like leaving Antoinette without an assistant as she was acting president of the company while Ellen was tending to her brothers operations getting everything squared away. I wasn't sure if Ellen would be back I didn't have a clue what all Paul had been involved in, what I did know was it was all legal. He had felt the Kiss of Life and lived, he knew what truth was and wouldn't risk losing what he had over something as foolish as staying involved in below board operations.

"Have you heard from Ellen? How is she doing?" I asked.

"You could always ask yourself Connie." I turned and there stood Ellen, a big smile on her face."I'm ready to come back to work. Paul told me why you couldn't help him, he told me you tried to talk him out of the Kiss because he said you knew a time was coming when the Kiss could save his life," Ellen said.

"Ellen remember when you got the call I didn't seem very surprised. I didn't know when or how only that if he had been willing to wait I could have intervened and saved him. Giving him the Kiss of Life and knowing what it meant and would mean was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I didn't have a choice, he asked for the Kiss and I had been told when he did I was to allow him. I did not want to, I... I was taken by Mario only a few moments later. My access to the gift was restricted from me, when you got that call I had wished as I had wished so many times since he had asked, that things could have been different," I said.

"He told me Connie. He was still alive when I got the call. He hoped you might come so he could have seen you one last time, but knew you likely wouldn't because of your knowledge of what his being shot meant. Connie all he had left was his fashion company, I want to merge it with Fashionista. I'm all that's left in my family, and you and Antoinette are more family than dad or Mario ever were, mom came to accept me because of you. Connie they didn't just kill Paul, his wife and kids were killed too," Ellen said.

"I... Ellen if you feel that is what you should do then by all means do it, I'm sure you know what is required," I said.

"I know what it means, and I also know it means taking enough capital from Fashionista to buy out the other share holders there. If they get word before the buy out is complete the cost could sky rocket," Ellen said.

"Antoinette what do you think?" I asked.

"It would be better to keep the two companies separate I think. Ellen I would be willing to say the money is available to make it a proprietorship so you do not have to deal with a board of directors, but I think it would be better to have it listed as a separate company from Fashionista," Antoinette said.

"Cali I know you have been listening, what do you think. Should Fashionista buy up Paul's company, or simply help it to become a proprietorship?" I asked.

"I do not understand. Who am I to ask such from me?" Cali asked.

"You are the personal assistant to the top brass of Fashionista. I need to know if you are up to such a task or if what Antoinette says is to just make me think she is protecting her cousin," I said.

Antoinette started to say something and stopped when she saw the look on my face.

"I think it would be wise as Antoinette say to keep the companies separate. Joining the companies would not benefit either company, I think," Cali said.

"Ellen I think you have your answer. Merging the two companies at this time, I agree would not benefit either company. I do agree that the money be made available to get rid of the board of directors, but I would like to keep both companies separate for now. I hope one day they can be merged, but for now I think it would be best not to," I said.

"You know something I don't?" Ellen asked.

"Of course I do, but if I share what I know it could be considered insider trading, I don't think any of us want any part of that happening. Lets just say that in ten to fifteen months a full merger would benefit both companies, but in about six to seven months it will benefit both to be separate," I said.

"If that is true I'll need to resign as company president at least for the time being," Ellen said.

"You could try, but I will not accept your resignation, and I will stipulate in my will that Antoinette should anything happen to me cannot accept either. Sorry Ellen, but it is best you stay president of Fashionista and CEO of Paul's company. Antoinette you will be acting president of Fashionista, and remain so until such time as Ellen can resume the duties without there being a conflict of interest for her. Cali you will be returning to Paris with me. On paper the companies will be separate, we however are family, and know it is only on paper," I said.

"It sounds like we are lying," Cali said.

"Not lying, the companies for all practical purposes are separate, Ellen will run her company as she chooses Antoinette will run mine in like fashion. If the two cooperate in everything that doesn't make them the same company does it?" I asked.

Antoinette gave me a funny look when I said she would run Fashionista, she seemed to think I was the one making the decisions on most everything the company did, that much of it was her ideas didn't sink in right away. I knew in time she would understand, I was a designer not a business person. I left the daily operations of the company in the hands of those better qualified to deal with them while I kept an eye out for designers and how best to show the designs. Even in how the designs were shown I didn't really take much part in since the first shows I had in Paris. Monique knew what I wanted and oft times had a better way of getting it out of the models.

The details were worked out for Ellen to have access to the money she would need to gain full control of Paul's companies and concentrate on making everything fully above board with them. Ellen was assured we would offer whatever support we could, but knew as long as the companies stayed separate there really was little help we could give.

I asked Antoinette to keep an eye on the crime bosses for me letting her know she had the authority to take whatever measures she felt were needed in keeping them on the right side of the law. She smiled at the thought of just what I meant about her having the authority to do whatever she felt it took to keep them in line.

In the morning we looking in on everything and said our goodbyes headed to the airport and were in the air by ten o'clock. I didn't do my usual of lying down once we were airborne instead opting to sit with my husband and daughter watching as we started across the water on our way home. A half hour into the flight we started watching a movie and before we realized we were preparing to land.

On the ground a car was waiting for us and I asked Richard to take Marie and head home I needed to stop at the office and would be home as soon as I could. Richard at first tried saying it would be better if we stuck together then realized I needed to go to the office to get some real work done and relented.

At the office I set Cali up in moms office and filled her in on what it was she would be doing now that she was my personal assistant rather than Antoinette's. After showing her around and introducing her to everyone she would be working with now I told her to take the remainder of the week off and spend time with her family and let them know she was back in France, and would likely only be going out of the country a few times a year now.

She refused to leave unless I agreed to go as well and spend time with my family. She reminded me I was married now and really should spend time with my new husband and my daughter.
  21. ##  Chapter 19

I didn't go into the office for two weeks and the following week didn't want to go in either, but needed to start getting back into the habit of doing something other than sitting around the house. Richard had the cattle we raised along with the vineyards. He asked me about what it would take to get more land for the cattle and I just laughed. I knew very little about cattle and the room they needed and he was asking me.

"Richard if we need more land get it if you can. If you want the land to the north go talk to the neighbors on the north, I think they would be willing to sell what they have. Let me know how much and I'll see we have it," I said.

The following week he was asking about setting up commercial wine making equipment. Since the neighbor to the north was only willing to sell to us if we were willing to buy their whole property which included another vineyard at least as big as the one I already had. We discussed it when we talked about what he was able to get for a price on the property. They said something about a small winery raising the grapes they had and over the last year or so the wineries seemed to either no longer care or were struggling with the costs involved in the vineyards they had else where because they hadn't extended the lease nor paid for the crop over the last couple years. My solution was looking into the winery that bought the grapes from the vineyard.

A week later it wasn't money to buy new equipment, but to buy the winery.

"Richard are you really feeling up to running a winery?" I asked.

"Do we have that kind of money?" he asked.

"The money isn't the issue Richard. The issue is are you up to both the ranching and running a winery. The ranching I know you can do, the winery I don't have any idea on the scale we're talking," I said.

His smile was so beautiful, I could sit there for hours watching him smile. He never said anything he knew I knew the answer even before I asked the question.

"What will you do when I am not here Richard?" I asked.

He frowned as though I had said the impossible. I didn't want to think about it, but needed him to be ready. One maybe two years and my time was over and he would have two children to raise. No he wouldn't be alone raising them, but Antoinette wouldn't know what he thought before he did as I knew. I knew only because I knew him from dreaming of him so long. As long as I could remember he was the only man I would ever love. It was because of my love for him I asked the questions, because he needed to be able to give the answers, not just assume Antoinette knew the answers as I did.

"I don't know Connie. I keep hoping that day will never come, but I know it will. How long do we have Connie? How much longer?" he asked.

"A lifetime Richard. We have a lifetime," I said.

"Ranching is second nature to me. They do things different here, but with a little time I can fix that. The winery I don't know. There I'm likely as clueless as you, if not even more clueless," he admitted.

"So what do you want to do about it? Richard I'm not trying to hide that I know what your answers will be most of the time. Antoinette isn't me though, she can't read your heart the way I can," I said.

"Antoinette? Connie what does Antoinette have to do with what we are talking about?" he asked.

"Everything Richard. Antoinette has everything to do with this. Don't you understand? Even Marie knows that Antoinette will be her mom before long. Don't you see Richard I know you love Antoinette, what is more is I know she loves you too." He started to say something and I put my finger to his lips. "Richard I know you love me, I know without doubt that you will never be with anyone else while I am living in this life. I trust both you and Antoinette with everything I am. It is hard for me to see the love you and Antoinette share yet deny yourselves all for my sake. Richard I... I..." I cut off not knowing what words I could use.

He wrapped his arms around me and just held me. He was starting to see what I was asking, or at least the pain it caused me to have to ask as I was doing because he suspected me of holding the Power of Life all the time.

He agreed to look into finding someone to run the winery as his first love was ranching. I giggled and told him I already had someone, and on top of that they were family. I called mom and Dominique and asked if they were free for dinner.

At dinner I let Richard explain the winery and what we were looking for. Dominique said his family had been involved in producing wine in France for as long as he could remember, but the family wineries had gone to another part of the family because he and Monique were both trans and the rest of the family had disowned them because of it.

Richard took Dominique in the office and started talking about the winery we now owned and what it would take to get it running. Cali came over with Monique saying they needed to talk about the show I had coming up. Mom joined us and when she saw the drawings for the designs she started crying.

"Those are some of the first drawings you made aren't they?" Mom asked.

"No mom they aren't some of the first, they are the first designs I came up with. Monique the dress I want at the highlight point of the show is this one," I held up the picture of the very first dress I designed. "I would also be very honored if your sister-in-law where the one wearing it on stage and in all media. Do you think you could see she is ready in time?" I asked.

Mom gave me a funny look, then looked over at Monique. "How many sister-in-laws do you have Monique?" Mom asked.

"Only one madame, and she is the designer choice for this dress. I guess she will keep the dress and it will not be auction with the others?" Monique asked.

"This is one of those that will be a one of a kind that I will make personally so no it will not be auctioned with the others," I said.

"Connie it has been years since you've made me a dress," Mom said.

"I made this one for you years ago, but I bet you don't remember it," I said.

"I remember it. it was the dress I wore to your brothers wedding. I'll never forget it," Mom said.

Richard and Dominique poked their heads out of the office.

"I take it you have come to an agreement?" I asked.

"We'll talk about it later dear, now I just want to be with the beautiful woman I love so much," Richard said.

Just then Marie came running in the room and grabbed Richards hands so fast she went flying through the air. Richard held onto her hands and went round in a circle with Marie squealing the whole time. I drifted off watching the two of them like this. How I wish I would be able to be here longer, to be able to watch my daughter grow into a beautiful woman, to see my son...

"...due, Connie?" Cali asked.

"What?" Someone asked me something and I totally missed it.

"When is the baby due?" Cali asked again.

I looked at Cali and frowned I hadn't told anyone yet so why would she be asking me when the baby was due.

"I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it I... I..." Cali started stammering.

"It's okay Cali the baby is due in eight months I just found out for sure today," I said.

Richard looked up he heard me say often enough the day our son was born was the last day I would share with him in this life.

"Sweetheart I need to talk with mom, can you go play with Cali?" Richard said.

"I know what you want to say Richard. It is no my time table to set, so if you have an issue it is with God you take it, not with me," I said.

I didn't want to be pregnant yet, I wanted as much time as I could get with my husband and daughter, and if I was pregnant with a boy my time was limited to when he would be born and I already knew this baby was a boy.

Antoinette and Ellen were due here in Paris in two months for our biannual meeting and there would be no hiding this pregnancy from them. It was time to bring Ellen's companies into the Fashionista family, and I was so scared of what I knew the coming year held for me. I wasn't ready yet, I knew how to accomplish what my real job was I knew it would be the last thing I would ever do in this life. I knew Richard would be holding me not knowing what I was doing as my life slipped away with the Power I would need to draw on to accomplish making it possible for my daughter to grow up without anyone knowing who she was. I wanted to cry for all I knew couldn't be for me, and found the tears wouldn't come. This wasn't the end I knew I was forgiven, I knew I had not lived a perfect life, but I knew my lord loved me and would accept me as his own.

"Richard we live the time we have, it is enough, it is a lifetime," I said.

"Can you help me not think of what this baby means to us? Connie I don't think I can be strong enough knowing we only have a few more months," he said.

"My love we have all the time in the world. Do you forget we can go where time is different, where we can live ten lifetimes in a single moment. You will no remember how short the time is my love. I carry this burden alone," I said.

Time an enemy and a friend. So many things that needed to be accomplished and now only one more and that must wait. I spent time with all my friends and loved ones. I wanted to let them all know how much I loved them and would miss them.

The meetings went without any problems, Antoinette and Ellen had already worked out the details of the merger of Ellen's companies and mine. So many things Antoinette took care of now, she knew she was my heir where Fashionista was concerned. With each passing week Fashionista became more hers and less mine. I knew the company would hurt for a time, but Antoinette and Ellen had worked everything out so the transition would be easy from me to Antoinette.

At their visit I gave Ellen a couple envelopes and told her to keep them in the safe in her office. One envelope had her name on it the other Antoinette's name. "Ellen keep these letters locked up until you get a call from Richard saying to get them out," I said.

"Connie why would Richard..." Ellen started.

"Richard because I won't be able to make the call." Antoinette heard what I said and turned away to cry. She knew the time. She knew I would have the baby and then we would come to America, but only Richard and my children would make it to America alive.

"Antoinette, please sister," I said.

The pain in her eyes was so deep, it hurt to see it, but I needed her. I needed the strength she had if I hoped to have a chance of fulfilling the job I had taken on so long ago.

"I hurt so much Connie! I do not think I can bare this knowledge of what is to be," she said.

"You do not need to bare it sister, I bare this burden for you. Sister I ask you not tell mom, not to remind her about what will be," I said.

Marie came to Paris with Antoinette and said she would stay with me until the baby was born then her and papa wanted to return to America to live on the ranch for what time they had left. She had quit talking about the visions she saw with her gift some time ago feeling they weren't of any real help to me any long as my ability with the gift had grown to surpass her own. Marie was the strongest of the Sisters of Life I had ever met and to my own Power hers was nothing but shadows of what might be, while my visions were more like watching a movie in full color and surround sound. The first time I had taken her into one of my visions she panicked, not understanding what she was seeing was only a vision of what might be. The vision was of the day my daughter was born, and to her it was real she tried to do more than watch and learn.

"Connie I do not understand this. It was real, no?" Marie asked.

"No mom, this is not real but a vision, the people can not see or hear us, this is so we can learn to be watchful," I said.

"I can not understand, the visions they are not so real for me, for me they are shadow only of what can be," she said.

I asked her to show me and got a look of dismay in return. "Sweetheart I can not show you what I see, it is for me only to see what the vision will show." It took a few times of her explaining before it dawned on me that the reason she wasn't able to show me was because she had never crossed the Veil of Time something I did regularly without thinking about. She was on the verge of crossing which was why her visions were clearer than many other Sisters of Life, but she still had never been on the other side of time. Her visions were clouded by the veil where mine were not. Of course she stopped believing her visions were of any use to me I saw what she couldn't.

"Mom can we talk?" I asked.

"Is there something you need? I am here for you always," she said.

"I need you to tell me what you see, I'm not sure I understand what the vision I see means for me," I said.

She gave me a dirty look, so many of the visions I saw were so much easier to understand then the visions she saw, yet she had learned to understand the visions in a way I couldn't grasp.

"The future is no longer visible to me. I try to look and see nothing, if you help me maybe I can help so you understand better," she said.

I took her hand and crossed through the veil of time. As we entered the future of my life came rushing in. She stood there watching as it played out, the time passing without incident until the day we boarded the aircraft. As we boarded I went into labor and refused to allow the plane to move until the baby was born, and the birth documented that he had been born in France.

The search for a doctor to assist with the delivery since I was having trouble unlike when I had Marie. She watched as two doctors boarded the plane with a couple children. She explained to the doctors the problems as she saw them then stepped back to let them have room to work.

The doctors soon had the baby and one stayed to assist me while the other worked on little Richard. She watched as I rested once the doctors had done all they could. She told Richard that now the baby was born it was time for us to go. The doctors said they saw no reason we could not continue on to our destination since the plane was equipped with a sleeping chamber, they said they would one of them stay with me until we got to New York and I was in the hospital where they could do a better exam with better equipment.

The vision stopped and she had tears in her eyes.

"Dear, why you do this? Why you show me this?" Marie asked.

"Mom you know the meaning?" I asked.

"Yes I know the meaning. You tell me the meaning a long time ago, but I did not remember until now," she said.

"Mom I did not choose this for you to see. Here I can not control what shows and what doesn't show. I think you are meant to see this because it is what I am here to do, I am at the end of Life to the Sisters, there are two Daughters after me, but the Sisters you are the last. The Daughter of Love is to teach the last Daughters of Life," I said.

"What is this Daughter of Love you speak of sweetheart? I have not hear this before," Marie asked.

"The Daughter of Love is she who is my sister from before time. She promised to love the Chosen all of her life, to give her what strength she needed. She would give her life for the Chosen of God if she could. Mom she is my sister from long ago, she stood by me when God gave the call and I stepped forward in answer," I said.

"Antoinette is this Daughter of Love, no?" Marie asked.

"Yes mom, she is my sister before time. She will teach my daughter to respect her Power," I said.

Antoinette my soul sister, my best friend, my protector. I felt so weak leaving so much for her to do, things that should have by right been mine. Marie was my daughter it should have been me teaching her to honor and respect the Power that would one day be hers to draw upon. Yet that burden would fall on my sister simply because she would survive me.

Marie looked at me strangely like she didn't understand what I was saying. I tried to let her know what this was doing to me, how knowing what the future held was causing so much pain for me. The more we talked about what she saw on the other side of the veil the more I realized she couldn't understand what it meant or why. I brought us back into the temporal world and hid all that had transpired while we were gone. I now knew the visions she saw were given her because the things of the future unmasked were more than she was prepared to handle.

I loved her as much as ever, but wondered if she was indeed who I had thought she was. Could it be my mother from before time wasn't Marie? It was confusing to me, even with all the knowledge I had gained about the preexistence I still though of it in mortal terms. Was I wrong to do so? Could it be that in the preexistence I didn't have a mother and father as I did in the mortal existence? I knew who my father was in the preexistence, but didn't I have a mother as well?

So many things that seemed to all of a sudden make so little sense. My whole focus seemed to be on the last task I had to complete and yet I still knew the time was not right. I started thinking about how to do that last task and realized the time was so close at hand and there was no longer reason to let the Sisters of Life suffer any longer at the hands of the Sisters of Death. The end was close when the Lord would return again in glory and Power. Antoinette knew how to assist my daughter and Diana the Daughter of Life between me and Marie. The time of Diana's training would be determined by God not men and the visions of all this were clouded to all but me and Antoinette, when she came into her full Power.

I had six month to wait then... no not then, I needed to start now I couldn't wait any longer. I knew what I needed to do and there was no point putting it off hoping for more time, it didn't work that way. Waiting would only make things harder for me in the end, and possibly make it so someone else would have to do something I should have done.

The future in six months scared mom needlessly and I could do something about it so I should. Mom loved me she had shown me she did so many times, if I loved her as I claimed I did, then it was up to me to let her be happy without knowing what I knew. She didn't need the knowledge.

I looked at mom and concentrated on her birthmark. I didn't know anyone among the Sisters of Life who was stronger in the gift than mom and if what I was doing worked the Sisters of Life would be a thing of the past. As I concentrated I saw mom rub her arm as though it itched or burned.

"Mom are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine sweetheart, should I not be?" she asked.

"I was just thinking something might be wrong the way you rub your arm," I said.

"It felt like a burn for a moment," she looked at her arm and frowned.

"Is something wrong mom?" I asked.

"No, I just... I thought I had a mark on my arm from the burn, it is not marked so everything is good," she said.

She never noticed a change in me or in herself so my theory was correct of how to accomplish what I needed to have done by the time Richard was born. I concentrated again on the mark of the Sisters of Death using the same Power I did with Marie to remove her mark. I felt it trying to work then act like I was trying to remove a mountain using a tea spoon. Sure what I was doing would work if I did it one at a time as I'd done with Marie, but it would take me years if not decades to complete that way. I didn't have decades I had months, and so drew more of the Power knowing that in doing so I was putting the baby at risk.

"Is there something I can help with?" Richard asked.

I looked up and Richard was standing there with a worried look on his face. I tried to say something, to let him know I was fine and what I had been doing I had to do alone.

"Connie you've been standing in that spot for an hour with a look that said you weren't here," he said.

An hour? How could I have been standing there for an hour? I looked at the clock and realized I needed to think more about the how of doing what I tried to do.

"Richard I didn't mean to scare you, and didn't know I had been standing here for an hour either. I..." I stopped not sure what to say.

"You were using the Power of Life for something, weren't you? Connie every time you draw on the Power of Life I can feel it, even when I'm half a world away," he said.

He knew whenever I drew on... of course he would know he was my other half the reason I...no he was the missing element.

"Richard take my hands," if I was right I would only need to manipulate the Power not hold or control it.

As he took my hand I again drew on the Power of Life only this time I let it flow into Richard rather than holding it myself. I watched as the Power infused him and kept feeding it until I was afraid he would blow apart. I again reached out to the Sisters of Death and found them. As I found each one I concentrated on the birthmark they each had feeling them fade away along with what Power they had to see my birthmark or that of any Daughter of Life. Time seemed to stand still as the Power flowed from Richard. As the last of the Sisters of Deaths birthmarks were gone the Power Richard was holding dissipated until it was gone.

I was drained from manipulating the Power to do what I had done, but put on a smile and looked up at Richard.

"Is it always like that when you draw on the Power?" he asked.

"How did you know to release the Power?" I asked.

"I saw you were getting tired. Connie while I was holding all that Power I could feel everything as though it was all part of me," he said.

"It is like this always for me. I can not release the Power fully now, it is fused into me so I can not live without a small part to support me," I said.

He nodded as though he understood how hard it was for me to release the Power now. "The baby is safe?" he asked.

"Yes he is safe, but I can not do more until he is born. My love I need this from you one more time, then Antoinette will be mom to Marie and Richard," I said.

He looked at me and understanding showed in his eyes. He knew now why once our son was born I wouldn't be there to help them grow up. Each time I drew on the Power of Life it meant I lost a small part of myself to the Power and for me to do what was still left would require me to draw so fully of the Power that releasing it would kill me as my life slipped away with the Power.

He never said anything, neither of us did. It was like if we didn't talk about it there was a chance it wouldn't happen though we both knew it would and why now. I knew I had volunteered for what I was doing, that didn't help when I thought about it in mortal terms however. I didn't want to leave my husband and children. I wanted to have the chance of seeing my children grow up into the wonderful people every parent wishes their children to be. I knew I wouldn't get that opportunity though, I had accepted the task long ago before I had any clue what this life was about, what it would mean to live in this life.

I needed to reconcile my love of life with the fact I knew what I had left was short. Having knowledge of something doesn't always change the fear of it, there are times when the knowledge can create greater fear. For me this was one of those times when I wished I didn't know. The Sisters of Life still existed and that was something that I was to end before I returned to my Lord. One of the Sisters had shown me how and it was the love that gave me the strength and courage, but most of those left I didn't know personally just as I hadn't known the Sisters of Death. They are all my sisters and all had a purpose, that enmity had come between the Sisters of Life and the Sisters of Death was never intended. Both had been chosen for this time as assistants for the Daughter of Life/Mistress of Death, yet they neither understood the Daughter and the Mistress were the same person.

So many things that had seemed to go wrong yet all was according to plan. How great the Power of God to see all things and be able to make them all work according to his design. There are so many who think I didn't have a choice that because I had volunteered before time I was destined to follow through, I had no choice. They don't understand I had every choice, I had the choice to volunteer before time was. I had the choice of rejecting the betrothal to Richard as it had seemed he had done. I had the choice of never coming to France and meeting Marie and my family here. I had the choice of accepting my friends and showing disfavor to anyone who claimed to be what the world said they weren't. Had I chosen differently on any one of those choices I wouldn't be where I am now, wishing I could grow old with my husband and children. I had the choice, and each time I made the choice to be me, to do what I knew was right. I had the choice and I made the choice, just as I would make the choice still ahead of me. There was still time to grow old with my husband and children to watch as my children had children and hold their children on my lap and tell them stories. There was still a choice and I had already chosen. I chose God's will and that meant my sister Antoinette would be the one who would hold my children and their children.

A tear slid down my cheek as I realized I had made my choice, the choice to allow my husband and sister to know joy in this life just as I had known joy.
  22. ##  Chapter 20

"Monique, the show is it ready?" I asked.

"Connie the models are all wrong for this show. Can we wait six months?" she asked.

"No Monique we can't. This show needs to go before my baby is born, and I am due to go to New York about the same time that happens. Monique do the best you can I need this show before I go to New York," I said.

I knew Monique wanted this show to be perfect, but she wanted all the shows to be perfect. My issue was I wanted to be able to see just one more show of my fashions and that meant it had to be before I went to New York. I still hadn't reconciled the issue of fear about the knowledge that I would only have this one more chance at a show, then everything would be Antoinette's. Everything my husband, my children, my company, even my villa. I found I had to work to have a smile, everything I did reminded me of what the future held for me in this life, all because I had chosen to be what I had so long ago volunteered to be, the Daughter of Life who would make the changes in preparation of the Lords return.

"I will do what I can Connie," Monique said.

"Monique I would like everyone here, Michelle, and all the original models from the first show we did here in Paris. I want them all here even if they are not part of the show, can you do that for me please?" I asked.

"Yes sweetheart, it is a big request, but they will be here for you," she said.

I went back to my office and sat watching as the company did its thing, this company didn't need me it needed Antoinette. She was the business person, not me. I leaned forward on my desk with my head in my hands and prayed. I prayed for peace in my life, and to have my closest friends with me if at all possible. I needed to tell them all how much they meant to me. How they had each been instrumental in being able to accomplish the task I was doing in this life.

How much I was going to miss them all. To have one more chance to see them and share even a few more moments with them in this life.

"Connie?" Cali said.

I looked up as Cali came in my office.

"I'm worried about you," she said.

I gave her a look of bewilderment. Why would she be worried about me? "Cali when we go to New York you will be working with Antoinette again," I said.

She gave me a look of hurt and disappointment.

"I wish I could explain. Cali, Antoinette will likely be coming back to Paris. I have something I need to ask of you I have put it in this envelope," I handed her an envelope with her name on it. "Cali I need you to wait until we are in New York before opening and reading what is inside that envelope, I also ask you to open and read it before leaving New York to come back to Paris," I said.

She agreed to not read what was in the envelope until we were in New York, but wanted to know when she should read it. I let her know that once in New York anytime would be fine, but to please wait until she was there.

I came into the office most days simply because I didn't really have anything to do at home and I did want to be sure everything would continue smoothly once I was gone. How much I looked to that day when the world would change for so many simply because I had been a part of it for a time. How many lives were affected by me? Who was I, other than a small town country girl? So many looking to me to have answers, and all I seemed to have is more questions. I needed to escape, not to the other side of the veil of time as I would do so often, but from everything. I needed to go somewhere no one had ever heard of me or the Daughter of Life. I found I could no longer turn off my birthmark from being visible as I felt the need to hold a small amount of the Power of Life just to live. Everyone held the Power of life but none held it as I did.

"Father I bow here seeking refuge from the cares of Life..." I prayed.

"She has been praying like that for an hour, ever since she arrived here."

"Did you talk to her? Who is she?"

"My name is Connie Evans, if you are going to talk about me at least do so where I cannot hear, or talk to me," I said.

"We didn't mean anything mademoiselle..." one of the men said.

"It is madame not mademoiselle, I am married to a wonderful man," I said.

"Sorry Mrs Evans, I over heard some of your prayer, few people pray that way these days," one of them said.

"Most people don't understand how to pray, because the leaders of the churches have forgotten how to pray," I said.

"If that is so how is it you know?" the other one asked.

I stood and turned not caring that my left arm was uncovered. As I turned they saw my birthmarks and both gasped.

"Forgive us Daughter of Life we did not know," one of them said.

"Daughter tell us why do you pray so, the pressures of Life are they so great upon you?" they asked.

"You know the birthmarks I have, no? Do you know the stories then?" I asked.

"We know the birthmarks and have heard the stories," one of the men said.

"If the stories are to be believed the time of the Lord is near, no?" Replied the other.

"The Lord is always near to those who love him and keep his commandments. The time of the Lords return is near indeed, but that time will no be while I still live in this life. It is my Daughters place to welcome again into life the Lord and Savior of all mankind," I said.

"You have seen this Sister of Life?" one asked.

"I have seen this and more besides," I said.

"What must a person do to be saved Daughter of Life?" one of them asked.

"Because you see me you do not believe the words of he whom I serve? The answer to your question you should as a teacher of the people know in your heart, you should not ask me if your teaching is true," I said.

"I did not wish to offend Daughter. Forgive me and pray for me a lost soul among men," the man said.

"A lost soul indeed. How many have denied God on your words? How many turn from God by your actions? Your heart is to this world. God is not of this world for he create this world. If you will be of this world why do you not seek the things of he who created the world. Is not the Creator greater than the created? If this is not so, is it not wise for that which is created to worship that which created it? I pray to He who create all things in heaven and earth. He who create both heaven and earth, in this wisdom is found," I said.

They both looked at me hate showing in their eyes. They turned to go and I held out my hand.

"You say you teach the God of old. The God of Abraham yet you do not understand the thing I have said to you. How then can you teach what you do not understand? Tell me which is more important the law or grace?" I asked.

They turned back to me and in unison said grace was the more important, that no one could live by the law thus we are saved by grace.

"I tell you the law is the salvation of the people. Grace was given not because man can not live the law, but because men refuse to live the law. If as you say we are saved by grace why then do you push the law on those who do not believe as you? Would it not be better to love you neighbor and forgive, than levy law on them who believe different?" I asked.

"You hold us to the law Daughter?" one of them asked.

"I do not judge you. If you are judged it is by your own knowledge of evil in your life not because I judge you. I live by grace under the law. It is by the grace I am save, through faith in the Lord and his righteousness of the law. I am a sinner who can not save myself, but through faith in The Son of God I am saved. Therefore, I judge no-man least I find myself guilty of sin equal in Gods disfavor," I said. "Judge not that you not be judged, for with the judgment you judge so will you be judged. If you hold someone to the law you should live by the law, and grace has no part in you. If you live by grace you do not judge another for you know your sin will find you out and you will be guilty as they you judge."

"Tell me Mistress what then can we do?" one asked.

"And he said to them do to others what you want them do to you. If you do not wish to be judged then do not judge others. If you live by grace then give grace to others. Make all men greater than you, in this you will find life in abundance," I said.

They turned again to go and one stopped and turned back to me. "Daughter I do not understand the prayer you were praying," he said.

"The prayer was selfish, I ask God to grant me peace before the time of my great trial, that I may be at peace when I stand before the throne for judgment when my time in this life is no more," I said.

He bowed to me and turned and followed after his fellow. As I turned back to the alter there stood the Lord. I fell to my knees head down in submission to the one great enough to save mankind from itself.

"My Lord I am unworthy. I do not merit your forgiveness in my life," I said.

"And if I cannot forgive the Daughter who in my name does so many things, who then is worthy of forgiveness?" I only knew I felt so unworthy of standing in the presence of his greatness. I didn't dare look up at him for fear I would wish this life to end even at this moment. "Your prayer has been heard Sister of Life, the time remaining to you will be at peace, there shall be no conflict even until the time of the Child of Love. Rest Sister of Life there is but one thing left and you will have your reward promised long ago before time," the Lord said.

"Thank you my Lord, thank you very much," I said.

The show was scheduled for the week before the trip to New York for the biannual business meeting with Antoinette and Ellen. They had both promised to come to the show, as had Erin, Judy, Paula and Cindy. All the models from my first show here in Paris where going to be there including Michelle, who tried to get out of being here saying she had so much work in the States she just didn't see how she could make it. Even the kids from the first series of shows were all going to be there, I would get one more chance to see the young lady who would be Daughter of Life between me and my daughter. How old would she be now? 13, no 15 at least. Would she be herself now or would she still be dressing as a boy? I hoped she was the beautiful girl I had seen through the veil the first time we met.

As the date drew near I started getting excited, all my friends would be there few of them knowing it would be the last time I would be able to hug them and let them know just how much they meant to me. How without them I didn't know if I would have had the strength to go on through each of the trials I had been through. Each of them had given a little of themselves to me in the shared memories we had, the love we had shared. Of course some had been closer than others, but each had given in their own way contributing just that little extra I needed to continue.

"Richard I do not think sleep will come this night. My old friends from school are to be here tomorrow," I said.

"You do seem a bit excited. Tell me what I can do to help my love," he said.

"You can hold me Richard..." I said.

He wrapped his arms around me picking me up and setting me in his lap. We talked well into the night. Arrangements had been made for a car to meet everyone and see them to my villa. None of them had ever been to my villa and I wanted them to see how I lived. So many of those I cared so much for knew how I had grown up, and they knew I no longer considered myself to be an American. I didn't want them to think I had forgotten them in the years since high school.

I woke still sitting in Richards lap with him brushing my hair. I hadn't realized just how tired I was until I woke up, it had seemed he had just pulled me into his lap and here it was five hours later.

"Why did you let me sleep so long?" I asked.

"Because you needed it. Connie I haven't seen you get more than three hours sleep since we got married. Sitting here in my lap you looked so peaceful... I didn't have the heart to wake you," he said.

I felt refreshed, more refreshed than I had in I couldn't remember how long. Since the time I had spent in captivity during the kidnapping I hadn't slept well only getting a few hours here and there. If I got three hours of sleep a day it was a good day. So tired all the time from lack of sleep. I still felt tired, but more, a good tired.

"Richard the Lord promised me peace throughout the remainder of my life. I was praying and two men interrupted my prayers. Both were wearing clergy collars. Do you have any idea what it is like to talk with someone who should know, but can not seem to understand the things of God? How can they be teachers of God if they do not understand the teachings of God?" I asked.

He smiled at me, he knew who and what I was. He knew how serious I was about such things, how everything about me was dedicated to the mission I had volunteered for.

"Connie I understand, but only because you took the time to explain it to me. You showed me how the teachings of God apply to life in a way no one else could have. Don't be hard on people even those who should know, that don't have your understanding of God. Think of the help you've had that few others throughout history have had," he said.

He was right I knew he was, but it didn't make it any easier to not feel I was letting people down because I had the knowledge and no real way of sharing it on a scale that could... no, that wasn't true. The task of sharing the word of God was that of those men not mine. My work was to end the time of the Sisters of Life and the Sisters of Death, to bring about the time of the Daughter of Love, so the world could learn to love or to bring about the condemnation of their hearts. If the world rejected my sister the time of my daughter would come quickly, if however they looked to the Lord of Life and Love through her they would spare themselves many hardships. Even for me that future was not clear. I had seen both paths and prayed continually that they would learn Love, but feared also that hate would reign over their hearts.

My friends would be here anytime and I wasn't sure I was ready. I wasn't giving them a choice about staying in a hotel, I wanted them here at the villa and so had a car waiting for them at the airport. I called the hotel they normally stayed at when they visited and asked the hotel to cancel their reservation, but hold the rooms as I had many other people who would be arriving for the show and would need rooms.

I went out to the corral to watch the horses running around and drifted off to what was left for me to finish. One thing left... no two things, my son was just as important as ending the time of the Sisters of Life, perhaps even more important. I smiled as I thought of how much I wanted to be here for my children, and knowing their father and aunt would let them know just how much I loved them. How Antoinette would be able to love them and know that I did love them, I loved them enough I was willing to give my life that they would never have to suffer as I had.

"A penny for your thoughts," Erin said.

"They are not worth so much today, Erin," I said.

"Let me be the judge of that." I turned and we hugged each other. "I've missed you so much," Erin said.

"I am so scared Erin, I will not see my baby when he is born. I wish to hold him and let him know he is loved by his mom. I fear I will not get the chance," I said.

She looked at me not understanding how I could talk that way. I was young and strong, at least she saw me that way.

"Connie you know things I could never begin to understand, it seems this is one of those times I don't understand. Why are you afraid of not being able to see your son when he is born. It almost sounds like you will die in child birth," she said.

The tears on my cheeks were soaking her shoulder. I didn't want to cry, having my best friend there was such a wonderful feeling, but it hurt knowing this would likely be the last time we would be able to spend time together. I picked out horses for each of us and had them saddled while we caught up.

I thought of the first time I took Erin, Paula, Cindy, and Judy out to Richards parents riding. Cindy was terrified of the horses at first, Erin wasn't much better. Judy and Paula had both been riding many times before, but never on horses like those and never where there weren't clear trails to ride on. I remembered how we had ridden up to the model of the villa Richard built me. How I told them it was my home, or rather how I wanted my home to be one day. Paula was the one who pointed out how much it looked like something from France. How I laughed. "Richard built this for me from a drawing I gave him." I started laughing as that thought came.

"Care to let us in on the joke Connie," Paula asked.

"I was thinking of the first time we all went horseback riding. Remember the model of the villa I showed you?" I asked.

They each started laughing. "I remember you saying it was where you would live one day," Judy said.

"It was the first time I ever heard you speak French," Cindy said. "Now it is rare to every hear you speak anything but French."

"Connie do you ever regret leaving America?" Judy asked.

Did I ever regret leaving America? No, I never regretted leaving. I think about those years growing up and it was like another life, one in which I was a mire spectator, like watching some sport. I never regretted having been born and raise in America, but France was my home, it had always been my home, just one I had never been to before.

"Judy I do not regret living in America when I was little, but France is always my home. France is where my heart is always," I said.

She looked away from me as though my words hurt her somehow. I reined in alongside her and reached out my arm.

"France is always a dream when I grow up. I do not regret living in America, I have many good friend in America, but I not regret leaving America to come home to France," I said.

Erin looked at me and smiled she knew better than anyone how much I wished to live in France. When we were little we played a game of asking were we would like to live if we could choose anywhere in the world to live. It was the first time I had ever shared my dream of living in France with anyone. It was also the first time I learned not everyone could see one of my birthmarks.

"So what does the future hold for us Connie?" Paula asked.

"You will live good lives if you stay true as I show you. A time comes soon when you will ask why, why it can not be another way. I tell you now it must be as it will be. I must go away so the Daughter of Love can be known. I ask you to be friends with her as you are with me. She is the mom to my children, the wife of my husband. I will go so she can be," I said.

"Go where?" Cindy asked.

"To my Papa. To He Who Is. I speak now in riddles, but in the time of fulfilling understanding will come. While I am with you think not on these things, the time comes when I will not be here and your morning will be great. Turn not from the Lord and you will find comfort," I said.

Each of them looked at me and I saw a tear in each of their eyes. How the tears would flow soon enough, how those closest to me would morn trying to make sense of my leaving. My greatest fear now wasn't dying it was going to America and dying in route. I didn't want to be buried in America I wanted my body to lie here on my estate, my home. I had written each of them a letter asking them to not open the letters until I came to America in a few weeks. Each promised me they would wait to open the letters. They were curious, but if it was important enough I felt the need to ask they would wait.

The show started right on time, I knew I could count on Monique to assure it would. They offered me the chance to say a few words at the start of the show. I always had said a few words at the start of every show I was in, yet this time I didn't know what to say. I hadn't watched the models as they rehearsed for the show. I hadn't seen the outfits that were to be in the show. All I knew about this show was the designs were mine and I believed they were my oldest designs, but I wasn't sure. I let Monique handle the opening show speech, with this show I wanted to watch the show and not worry about anything.

I sat there watching the show dreaming of the first show I did. It seemed so long ago, yet was as if it had been yesterday. I looked at each of my friends seeing not the models but them. They had all worked so hard for that night. Then as Paula came out wearing my master piece, a dress that couldn't be made as the stitching for one fabric would snag the fabric next to it. I smiled at the thought, each of these friends had stood by me when I was nobody, now here we all were the top in each of our fields of expertise. No one knew programming better than Erin. Paula was at the top in security systems. Cindy had made her name as a chef. While Judy stood out in business management, and law. Each of them had come so far from that stage were my first show was done, yet it was as though we were the same scared little girls we had been back then.

"Madame if you wish to say some words before the show starts it is time," someone said to me.

Before the show starts? The show had already started hadn't it? A few words? What words could I say? Did I want to say a few words? I stood up and walked to the stage. I didn't understand why my body was taking me up there I hadn't wanted to say anything I...

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is a pleasure to see all of you here tonight. This show tonight is dedicated to the first show I did, as well as the first show I did here in Paris. I want to thank each of my special guests here tonight I am so glad you all could make it. There are so many things I would like to say tonight, but the words are elusive as I would love to say them in both French and English for those here from America and those here from my France. Viva la France! For my American friends I want to say I haven't forgotten you, I haven't forgotten the small town we grew-up in. I have forgotten however a great deal of the English I once knew. For that I do apologize, as it is making it hard for me to say what I would really like to say here. My love please." I held out my hand to Richard and waited. He stood and joined me on stage.

"With your patience as my husband translate what I say for you who do not understand French."

"Welcome to Fashionista! Tonight we are pleased to bring the latest fashions by Connie Carlson. While the Connie Carlson collection will continue to grow this will be the last show I will be able to attend. It is for this reason all my special guests have been invited here tonight. Each of the outfits presented tonight will be available, but there will be no auction tonight each of our models will receive the outfits as bonus for doing a great show. Please enjoy the show." As Richard finished the translation we both bowed and returned to our seats.

"Connie can we talk," Judy asked.

I assumed she meant in private so I stood back up and turned to go out were we would be able to hear each other better. As I slid out of the row of seats I turned to her and she stood and followed.

"Judy is there something wrong?"

"What you said up there, I don't understand I thought designing was the most important thing in the world to you," she said.

"Judy designing is important, but not the most important. I'm here at this time in history for a reason, that reason is the most important as it was something I volunteered to do before the world was. My family is also very important to me, even more so than designing. My time is short and I want to spend it with my family and friends. If that means I won't be designing any longer so be it. I still have hundreds of designs that have never been released, and I'm sure over the coming years many of them will be released, but to me they just aren't important any longer," I said.

"I love how your French accent is all of a sudden gone. Connie I just don't want to see you get hurt. You taught me to love with all my heart, I don't know if I could have accepted Paula if it hadn't been for you," she said.

I giggled and blushed. From the first day I had seen Judy and Paula together I knew they were meant to be together. I knew they had problems, they would always have problems, but they knew how to work out those problems together, that was what made their relationship work.

"Is it because of that dress? Judy I wanted so much for Paula to have that dress I knew she would make it shine in a way only she could. Each of you in that show shone beyond what any of you thought possible. It wasn't the outfits that made you shine it was you that made the outfits shine," I said.

"I've never forgotten that show, I don't think I could. I felt so glamorous in that dress. It was when I saw Paula in that dress I knew her and I were meant to be together. I felt like a peasant next to her and knew she was more than worthy of all the love I had. I just wanted to better understand what you were saying is all. Ever since we arrived it has been like you are saying goodbye like you are going somewhere and we won't see you again," she said.

I cried inside I knew I had not been as cheerful as I meant to be. I knew I didn't have much time left and yes I was saying goodbye in the only way I could. These were my friends, those who had accepted me even when I didn't have money. They had been there for me so many times, and now I had to go where they couldn't, at least not yet, they each had so much to do still.

"Judy I... you know the truth of God, live that truth and we will have eternity, the most I would do is say farewell for now and I will see you when we meet in heaven," I said.

"You are leaving aren't you? That's what this is all about isn't it? When? After the baby is born?" she asked.

"I love you my dear sweet friend. Do not fear the future, it is as it should be. I ask you to remain faithful to God and yourself forever," I said.

She puzzled my words not fully understanding I was and wasn't saying goodbye so much as I was letting her know she meant the world to me. What words could I use to tell her how much she had done for me, in giving me the hope and strength to continue on.

We returned to our seats and enjoyed the show. Richard gave me a look I knew meant he hoped I would share what it was Judy was so concerned about. I whispered that when we got home and had Marie in bed I would be happy to share with him what was said.
  23. ##  Chapter 21

We arrived at the airport a couple hours ahead of the time we agreed to leave. I knew the baby was to be born before we left and wanted to be as comfortable as possible. I laid on the bed in the cabin as soon as I boarded and went into labor.

The flight attendant started to panic while Richard had the pilot call over to the tower to see if there were any doctors available in the airport. A few minutes later he came back and said they found a doctor booked on a flight to the States, and were going to talk to them about passing on their flight if we would be willing to see they didn't miss their connection in New York.

Miss their connection in New York, I giggled. No they wouldn't miss their connection in New York, in fact I would have Fashionista ten standing by to take them home if they would be willing to attend my baby into the world. Richard took Cali and headed over to the terminal to see about getting the doctor to come over to help. Marie sat with me and little Marie puzzled at the turn of events.

"Sweetheart it is not so important you go to America now. This baby will be here very soon and you will both need rest you can not get on the airplane," Mom said.

"Mom the baby he will be born here in Paris. He is French as little Marie and all the family. Mom it must be this way, I know you do not see how it must be, I ask you to believe me, believe in me this time mom. The world will morn a short time and the Daughter of Love will take her place of Power, while the Daughter of Life will rest until her time is again in the world," I said.

"What is this Daughter of Love sweetheart. I do not remember her in the stories. The stories tell only of the Daughter of Life not this Daughter of Love you speak of," Mom said.

"Mom the Daughter of Love is the one who will bring balance while the Daughter of Life is not available. It is she the Daughter of Life turns to when a gap is found where there is no Daughter of Life to teach them. Mom I turn to a daughter of Love to help me to understand. You mom, are a Daughter of Love, as is Antoinette," I said.

She didn't understand, she didn't even know how to understand. I was her daughter, not by birth though sometimes I wondered if she didn't believe she was my birth mother. To have been born in France rather than America, a dream only for me. I had to fight to gain my French citizenship, it wasn't just a gift of birth as had been the case for Antoinette. My successor would have the same problem about her citizenship, how I longed for her to be in France, to gain her French citizenship now while she was still young. She wouldn't be able to however there were still other things she needed to do, things that she couldn't do if she didn't hide her identity from the world. Once this day was over only two people would be able to recognize her for who she is, even mom would not be able to see her as the Daughter of Life.

Richard got back with the doctor.

"Madam, forgive me my French is not very good I hope you can understand English," the doctor said.

"Do not worry Dr Quinn, my English in not so good as it was when I live in America, but I still understand," I said.

"You use to live in America?" he asked.

"Yes, I was born in America. It is where I grow up. I come to France when I am a woman," I said.

He gave me a strange look and started examining me.

"How far apart are the contractions?" he asked.

"The baby will be here soon," I said.

"The contractions are five minutes," Mom said.

"Everything looks good from what I can see, might I ask why you didn't go to the hospital when the contractions started?" the doctor asked.

"The baby will be born here on the plane and we will leave for America soon after he is born," I said.

"You seem so sure, ma'am. Is there anything I should know, any medical problems I should be aware of?" he asked.

Richard stepped in at that point. "Doctor my wife is set on how this will happen, one thing I have learned is not to second guess her about most things in life, she is the Daughter of Life. I don't know if you know what that means, but no one can do anything to her she doesn't allow."

At the mention of me being the Daughter of Life the doctor stepped back.

"Doctor is something wrong?" I asked.

"You're the one aren't you? The one all the stories are about?" he asked.

"Yes! I am the one Chosen long ago to be Life in death. Do not fear doctor I have seen what happens here long ago. The fate of this moment is not new, I have accept what will be this day. My husband knows also, but the end he does no think will be as we have seen. My baby will need help when he is born, I wish to see and hold him for a few moments, but must finish the work I have, so will not have much chance to hold him," I said.

He left the bed chamber to talk with his wife. A short time later they both came back in.

"Jill ask her," the doctor said.

"Ma'am my husband says you are... Oh my David she is the one the stories are about. Look at her left arm. Madame if you are holding your Power I have to ask you to relax it a little so we can deliver the baby," the wife said.

I hadn't realized I had taken up the Power of Life as I had. I released it a little afraid to release too much of it before I finished the task I had left. As my birthmarks faded back, Jill let out a breath and started telling everyone there what she needed in order to help my son into the world.

Cali stayed out with the children keeping them busy while their parents were seeing to me and my son. Marie seemed to enjoy having their children there and once little Richard was delivered wanted to come back and see me and him.

I held the baby while we taxied out to the runway and lifted off. Once in the air mom came back and took the baby and Marie back out front with everyone else. The doctors went out with her leaving Richard and I the only ones in the back.

"My love it is time. We can wait no longer I can rest in a little while, but now it is time I finish what I am to do," I said.

He sat on the edge of the bed and took my hands as I drew in the Power of Life. I had never before taken so much of the Power as I knew I would need to do this last work. I shifted into more of a sitting position shifting the Power to him and focusing on the seal of the Sisters of Life, steadily drawing more and more or the Power of Life. I looked into his eyes and with all the energy left to me forced the Power outward feeling it touch each person on whom the seal rested. As the Power of Life went out I felt each seal lift and the wearer of the seal lose their connection with the Power they never truly understood. One by one the Power of Life returned and was washed pure, waiting for the next Daughter to draw from. As the Power diminished I felt my life fading away with it.

"I love you my love it is finished. It is time now for me to rest. Do not morn for me my love, I know your love for me is true, I release you now to love she who will be mom to our children. Love her as you love me," I said.

I closed my eyes and felt Richards tears on my cheek as he kissed me.
  24. ##  Epilogue

As the Power of Life ebbed away Marie came around the curtain that hung separating the forward cabin from the sleeping chamber. I looked at her as she came around the edge and mouthed the words, "I love you sweetheart, I love you." I closed my eyes and heard Richard give a sigh as his tears ran down my cheeks. How much I wanted to stay, how much I knew my family wanted me to stay. What I had come to this world to accomplish was now accomplished and it was time for me to return to my Lord.

I turned my head just enough I was able to give Richard a small kiss as the last of the Power of Life left me. I saw the tears, I heard the cries, I wanted to stay, but life in this world held nothing for me any longer. All that had been mine now belonged to my sister, and for that I was grateful. I knew Antoinette would hate the idea of it all being in her care. Not the kids that she would relish beyond words, but the rest... she didn't want it, she didn't want any of it, but I had no one I trusted more I could leave it all to.

_Connie_ _moved_ _on_ _into_ _the_ _realm_ _of_ _life_ _beyond_ _this_ _mortal_ _existence._ _She_ _moved_ _on_ _to_ _a_ _plane_ _of_ _existence_ _were_ _the_ _hurts_ _of_ _this_ _world_ _have_ _no_ _place,_ _where_ _those_ _who_ _would_ _seek_ _to_ _harm_ _her_ _and_ _her_ _loved_ _ones_ _can_ _not_ _go._ _I_ _know_ _all_ _this_ _because_ _I_ _remember_ _the_ _day_ _she_ _showed_ _me_ _what_ _was_ _waiting_ _for_ _those_ _who_ _believe_ _and_ _seek_ _not_ _what_ _is_ _best_ _for_ _themselves,_ _but_ _what_ _is_ _best_ _for_ _everyone._ _The_ _day_ _she_ _showed_ _me_ _that_ _accepting_ _someone_ _for_ _their_ _difference_ _was_ _what_ _acceptance_ _was_ _really_ _all_ _about._

_Connie_ _I_ _miss_ _you_ _more_ _than_ _words_ _on_ _a_ _page_ _can_ _say._ _The_ _way_ _you_ _smiled_ _as_ _each_ _of_ _us_ _you_ _called_ _friend_ _found_ _that_ _we_ _were_ _accepted_ _simply_ _because_ _we_ _were._ _You_ _taught_ _us_ _to_ _always_ _be_ _honest_ _and_ _accepting._ _You_ _showed_ _us_ _that_ _being_ _honest_ _is_ _being_ _successful._

_The_ _day_ _you_ _found_ _out_ _you_ _were_ _heir_ _to_ _such_ _an_ _estate_ _as_ _Fashionista_ _Fashions._ _I_ _remember_ _how_ _time_ _seemed_ _to_ _stand_ _still_ _as_ _the_ _measure_ _of_ _it_ _all_ _sank_ _in_ _as_ _you_ _tried_ _to_ _make_ _sense_ _of_ _it_ _all._ _Did_ _time_ _slow_ _Connie?_ _Did_ _you_ _take_ _hold_ _of_ _the_ _Power_ _of_ _Life_ _that_ _day?_ _We_ _were_ _all_ _so_ _sure_ _of_ _ourselves_ _until_ _that_ _day,_ _we_ _knew_ _who_ _we_ _were_ _and_ _what_ _our_ _futures_ _held,_ _yet_ _in_ _just_ _a_ _few_ _moments_ _on_ _a_ _day_ _where_ _everything_ _seemed_ _good,_ _our_ _worlds_ _were_ _turned_ _upside_ _down_ _and_ _shaken._ _We_ _were_ _all_ _so_ _afraid_ _of_ _what_ _that_ _day_ _might_ _mean,_ _and_ _ended_ _up_ _looking_ _to_ _you_ _for_ _direction._ _You_ _seemed_ _to_ _know_ _from_ _the_ _beginning_ _what_ _we_ _didn't._ _You_ _taught_ _us_ _how_ _to_ _live_ _life_ _to_ _the_ _fullest,_ _to_ _plan_ _for_ _the_ _future,_ _but_ _live_ _for_ _the_ _moment,_ _to_ _learn_ _from_ _the_ _past,_ _but_ _be_ _mindful_ _of_ _the_ _present._ _You_ _taught_ _us_ _we_ _all_ _have_ _access_ _to_ _the_ _Power_ _of_ _Life._

_Erin_ _Barlow_
  25. ## About Jayne Amanda Maynes

I was born in April 1955 as the heir to my father. My older brother should have been, he had the same initials as dad, but he was mentally retarded and had a heart condition from birth. According to my mother she knew from the time I was growing inside her that I would be a boy and the heir they had hope my brother could have been.

I have known for as long as I can remember that I was different that there was something not right about me. I am a male to female (M2F) transsexual. I am currently on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy); I have been in therapy for GID (Gender Identity Disorder) since February 2007. I started on HRT October 1, 2007. I have not set a time yet for completing my transition to becoming the woman I know I am inside. There are so many things involved in transitioning that most people have no clue about. The differences between the sexes are so vast and all of my life I have led a life that just never fit who I am inside. I have learned so much and yet there is still so much that I still don't know about being the woman I always knew I was.

**Other** **books** **By** **Jayne** **Amanda** **Maynes**

The Butterfly Within series:

The Butterfly Within: The Image in the Mirror

The Cracked Mirror: The Butterfly Within

Daughters of Power series:

Daughter of Life

A Psalm of Love

The Rose of Magic series:

The Hidden Rose

The White Rose

The Mystic Rose

**Connect** **with** **Me** **Online:**

on FaceBook

on Twitter

My Blog

Email
