♪♪
Narrator:
WE'RE ONLY NINE DAYS AWAY
FROM SHARK WEEK,
AND THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS.
TODAY, COOK YOURSELF
SOME SHARK PANCAKES,
AND ARE YOU READY
FOR THIS JELLY?
WE'RE BREAKING DOWN
THE RULES OF SHARK SEX.
IT'S "THE DAILY BITE".
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.
[ VOCALIZES ]
YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S TIME FOR SHARK SEX 101.
YEAH, BABY.
CAPTAIN, DO THE THANG.
I'M THE CAPTAIN,
AND THIS IS SHARK SEX 101.
[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
♪♪
THE COURTSHIP RITUALS ARE GOING
TO VARY FROM SPECIES TO SPECIES,
BUT IT'S GOING
TO START LIKE THIS.
THE FEMALE IS GOING TO RELEASE
SOME PHEROMONES INTO THE WATER.
AH, EVERY GUY'S A SUCKER
FOR A GOOD PERFUME.
AND YOU THOUGHT SHARKS WERE
ONLY INTO THE SCENT OF BLOOD.
WRONG AGAIN,
MY SEA-CURIOUS FRIENDS.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE BIZARRE
MATING RITUALS TO BEGIN.
THESE CAN BE ANYTHING
FROM BRUTE FORCE
FIGHTING TO UNDERWATER
SEMI-RIDICULOUS DANCING.
ONE SUCH SHARK, FOR EXAMPLE --
THE HAMMERHEAD --
FORMS A LARGE SCHOOL
WITH THE FEMALES IN THE CENTER
AND THE MALES ON THE OUTSIDE.
NOW THE FEMALES ARE TRYING
TO ATTRACT THE MALES
WITH THE LARGER FEMALES
BEING THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER.
YEAH, YOU CAN SAY THAT SHARKS
LIKE 'EM THICC.
AND, JUST TO BE CLEAR,
THAT'S "THICK" WITH TWO C'S.
AT NIGHT, THE PAIRS
WILL THEN BRANCH OFF
AND GET THE AFTER PARTY STARTED.
THE SHARKS THAT DON'T
SUCCESSFULLY PAIR UP
THE FIRST NIGHT WILL RETURN
AGAIN THE FOLLOWING DAY.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE YOU GOING TO
YOUR FAVORITE BAR NIGHT
AFTER NIGHT BECAUSE
YOU CONTINUALLY STRIKE OUT.
SOMETIMES, DATING IS MORE
ABOUT PERSISTENCE THAN IT IS
ABOUT BEING ATTRACTIVE.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
FOR OTHER SHARKS --
THE GREAT WHITES, FOR EXAMPLE,
THE KINGS AND QUEENS
OF THE [BLEEP] OCEAN --
MATING RITUALS ARE
FAR LESS COMPLICATED.
THE MALE BASICALLY SWIMS UP
AND BITES THE FEMALE
THAT HE'S INTERESTED IN.
ESSENTIALLY, A SHARK BITE
IS LIKE A RIGHT SWIPE.
HE'S MADE HIS MOVE, AND NOW
IT'S TIME FOR HER TO MAKE HERS.
YOU CAN THINK OF THIS
LIKE A GAME OF SEXUAL CHECKERS
EXCEPT NO ONE'S LEAVING WITHOUT
A FEW BUMPS, BITES, AND BRUISES.
I'M THE CAPTAIN, AND THAT
CONCLUDES SHARK SEX 101.
I HOPE YOU TOOK NOTES BECAUSE
THERE'S GOING TO BE A TEST.
I LOVE EATING, BUT GUESS
WHAT I LOVE EVEN MORE?
IF YOU SAID, "EATING
RESPONSIBLY", YOU ARE CORRECT.
YOU'RE SUPER-SMART AND SOMEHOW
READING MY MIND, SO PLEASE STOP.
WHAT ARE WE COOKING UP TODAY?
SOME SHARK CAKES!
OOH.
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A TIP I ALWAYS GIVE MY
HOUSEGUESTS IS WEAR EAR PLUGS
BECAUSE I [Sing-song voice]
SCREAM IN MY SLEEP,
[Normal voice]
IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT.
BUT WE HAVE SOME EVEN
BETTER TIPS FOR YOU
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
CHECK IT OUT.
HERE'S A "DAILY BITE"
CONSERVATION TIP --
TRY SUSTAINABLE SEAFOOD.
IF IT'S LOCAL, IT'S PROBABLY
SUSTAINABLE.
USE MASS TRANSIT
WHEREVER POSSIBLE.
IT'S MUCH BETTER
FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.
AS THEY SAY IN MERRY OLD
LONDONTOWN,
[English accent]
"I'M FROM MERRY OLD LONDONTOWN".
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
PIP PIP AND ALL THAT.
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH.
[ LAUGHS ]
♪♪
