- Guys, welcome back to Vlogmas.
We're here at Asda in the green glow
and we're gonna do some Christmas shopping
in the British Walmart.
- Exactly what he said, follow us.
This is the entrance, the grand entrance.
- [Joel] Oh wow!
- Oh my days!
- [Joel] So first things, mince
pies and muffins. (laughs)
- Oh yeah!
- [Joel] Love it!
- I can see security eyeing us up.
- [Joel] Oh wow.
- The legendary, the one and only
- [Joel] Mezza Bezza!
- Mezza Bezza.
- [Joel] She is just
the queen of UK baking.
- [Joel] That looks nice.
- [Lia] That looks nice!
It's a little bit of poussin
- [Joel] Poussin!
- With aioli.
- [Joel] Or just chicken.
- Or just chicken.
Mezza Bezza.
- So I wonder what scandal's
gonna happen in here today,
no trying on clothes, okay?
- Oh no I wouldn't, I wouldn't
go near a jacket ever again.
- Do you know, some people,
when you said it in the latest
video, someone was like,
"No, I think that moment is
like the most iconic moment
of Lia just trying on a jacket
and wearing it round a store".
- Is that more iconic than carrots?
Let us know in the poll!
- Yeah, let us know!
Oh my gosh, look at this cheese fondue.
- [Lia] Oh yeah.
- Ah! Or baked, that's huge!
Baked camembert, that's
a whole baked camembert?
- [Lia] Joel, don't act
like we couldn't hoover that
in like, one sitting.
- No I've never seen it this big,
normally it's like, that big.
Look how big that is.
- [Lia] That's massive.
- All of this festive cheese, I love.
Waxed cheese, do Americans
have waxed cheese?
Probably not.
- [Lia] What's your favorite?
- Cheddar with plum chutney,
Wensleydale with cranberries.
Ew! Wensleydale with salted
caramel and white chocolate!
- [Lia] That's insane.
- That's ridiculous.
I wanna try it.
- [Lia] That sounds so nice.
- They're all a pound, that's great.
- [Lia] Oh my gosh, what's that?
That's a gingerbread
- [Joel] Gingerbread
Yorkshire Wensleydale?
That's amazing.
Look, pheasant pâté.
- [Lia] Pheasant pâté, oh my gosh!
- We always have these at
Christmas in the Wood household,
do you have these?
- [Lia] Don't like 'em.
- You don't like them?
- [Lia] We always have
them I don't like them.
I don't reach for them at all.
- I'm always just eating
them at Christmas,
opening the fridge,
raiding it, shoving them in
and Mum's like, "Where've they gone?"
- [Lia] Explain what they are.
- It's just like cream cheese with like,
herbs and stuff on it.
Delicious!
- [Lia] Stunning.
- Stunning!
- [Lia] So far, nothing in the basket.
- [Joel] With the tinsel?
- [Lia] Yeah, go on then.
- They've tried to decorate it nicely
but it just hasn't worked.
(Lia laughs)
- Look at all these tacky decorations!
(Lia laughs)
My Nan would've loved this.
- [Lia] I would, I'd like
that as well, it's lovely.
- Really, to go on top
of the Christmas tree?
It's lovely, isn't it?
- [Lia] It's lovely!
- I mean, it's not to my
taste but my family members,
some of them would love this, so
- [Lia] How much is that? £5?
- £5.
- [Lia] I love guessing prices!
Yes, yes, yes.
It's not tacky Joel, it's cute!
- No that's nice, just this is tacky.
- [Lia] Aww!
- Or these, the foil garlands.
- [Lia] Oh my gosh, is that a burger?
- [Joel] Oh my gosh, that's amazing!
- [Lia] That's so funny!
- [Joel] That's so good!
- Do you know what, I know
how much you love burgers
so I'm giving you a burger bauble!
- [Joel] I'm giving you a burger!
- Oh my god, Joel, burger nips for me!
- [Joel] Yeah! Two for you.
Look I just saw, the
cupcake is more my vibe.
(laughs)
- This is the kind of decoration
for someone who thinks
they're like really classy
and thinks they're like a Mrs
Clause, a sexy Mrs Clause,
but it's just tat.
- It's just tat, that's the thing.
It's always dangerous, us
giving our opinion on things
'cause if any of you guys have it at home,
you'll be like, "What? I love that."
- This looks fun.
- But it's just our personal opinion guys,
don't get triggered!
- Snow spray!
The only thing that should
be in a tin, not cheese.
Snow spray!
- [Joel] Not cheese?
- [Lia] Oh snow spray! There you go!
- [Customer] Thank you!
- That's alright, always
helping the nation.
- [Joel] These are what lonely people buy,
I need one of these.
Just for my lonely bedroom.
- I think they're so cute!
- [Joel] Aren't they?
- [Lia] I'd have that in the living room.
- [Joel] Yeah I like the white
one and I like the green,
but not the pink or blue.
- Yeah, that's what you get like for a kid
that's got a pink bedroom.
- I just love that we left
our trolley in the way
and a woman like pushed it out of the way.
- [Lia] Really?
- [Joel] Joel and Lia
messing with shoppers.
- Just classic us, we're
like yeah yeah yeah.
- [Joel] Yeah, just taking
over the whole supermarket.
I wonder how much hate we're
gonna get on this video?
Love it!
- Joel, probably quite a lot.
- [Joel] Probably quite a lot.
- Just to get something
clear, nothing against Asda,
I would do my shop in Asda, I
would do my weekly shop here.
- Yeah, Asda's the best!
Where my parents live
there's a massive Asda nearby
so I've always grown up
coming to Asda, love it.
- Yeah, I think Asda's
better than Tesco anyway.
It just feels cleaner.
Yeah, oh yeah, I prefer
Asda to Tesco, definitely.
And you get bigger bargains.
- Bigger bargains!
- Bigger bargains.
- I know that it's not Christmassy
but I'm gonna have to go
down the cleaning aisle
in a minute, need to clean up my life.
- [Joel] Yeah you do.
(festive music)
This is the reduced
shelf but as you can see,
it's been raided, there's
nothing left really.
What are you doing?
- It's for when you try and
get your whites white again.
- [Joel] Oh, you chuck a
bit of bleach in there?
- Get your bowl, get a bit
of thin bleach in there,
not a lot
- [Joel] Why thin and not thick?
- Thick one's more like
toilet gel, I think.
- [Joel] Oh!
- Thin gel, like you can, thin gel?
Thin bleach you can do a lot with.
Also like, just general cleaning things,
like I wanna get my mop white again.
- [Joel] Quality content guys!
Lia's mop!
- My mop, it's gone all yellow.
- [Joel] If you're
interested in Lia's mop, then
- If you're interested in a
cleaning channel, thumbs up!
(laughs)
- [Joel] Look at these pancakes!
See guys, you think that we
don't do American pancakes,
we do.
- [Lia] Oh, I'm not interested
in the pancakes like that.
- [Joel] White chocolate pancakes.
Are you not? You like the crepes.
- [Lia] I like the crepes.
- [Joel] Crepes.
See, they're all thick thick
thick thick thick thick.
- [Lia] Milk chocolate.
- [Joel] Mmm nice!
- [Lia] Mmm nice!
- [Joel] That's the bakery, guys.
- [Lia] Joel imagine that,
filled in the middle,
Nutella, Nutella, Nutella, Nutella,
would you eat it?
- [Joel] Yeah.
- Your little face then!
You were like, "Yeah."
- [Joel] Delicious!
- And then some berries on top.
- [Joel] Not berries no, syrup.
- Syrup!
- Syrup, make it even sweeter.
I'd love it.
You can make your own cookies,
we've literally just done that.
- [Lia] Oh my gosh, Joel!
That's what we did today!
- [Joel] Yeah!
We ate this, didn't we?
- [Lia] Ah! We ate that in a mukbang.
- [Joel] Yeah, a mukbang,
but it wasn't great, was it?
- [Lia] How do people
say that word? Mukbang.
- [Joel] I say muk bang
but they say muk bung?
Oh my gosh!
What is that?
Heinz ketchup?
- We got sent some
mayonnaise by this brand
and they gave us one.
- They gave us one mayonnaise.
- Thanks Hellmann's, very generous.
- Thanks for your one,
oh no that was Heinz.
- No, it was Hellmann's.
- Yeah, but that was just Heinz.
- Oh that's Heinz, oh yeah.
- Sorry, I just dissed them.
- Oh Heinz would be
very generous, I'm sure.
- Heinz would be very generous.
If Heinz are watching
this, we love baked beans!
- We love Heinz and baked beans!
- Especially baked beans!
- But yeah, we're on
our way to get loo roll,
Lia didn't want this in
the vlog but it's going in,
we're gonna see what she
wipes her bum with, guys!
- Let's see what loo
roll she chooses, guys!
Where is the loo roll?
- [Joel] Not in this section.
We're lost.
Look at this, Prosecco.
- [Lia] So you've got Pinot Noir Rosé,
Prosecco which costs £12 a bottle!
- [Joel] I would always
avoid buying Prosecco
that's in a shiny bottle like this
'cause I think they've put
too much effort to the bottle
and not enough to the actual Prosecco.
- [Lia] We'd probably drink
that or we'd get that.
- [Joel] Oh yeah!
- [Lia] That's very Soho House.
- [Joel] I mean, it's
kind of what I just said
about putting effort into the bottle
but still, this looks classier than that.
- [Lia] Yeah, if I turned up with that,
you'd be like, "Don't be a tacky bitch."
- [Joel] But also, that's twelve quid
and this is cheaper at nine.
Bargain!
- Anything under ten, isn't
it? You're just like, mmm.
- [Joel] Yeah, I'm having it.
- But one day Joel,
that'll be Joel and Lia Prosecco.
- [Joel] It'll be Joel and
Lia's own brand Prosecco.
Here we are guys, toilet roll!
- Ever since I've been
a successful Youtuber,
I've upped the quality,
I now buy four-ply.
- [Joel] Wow!
- Whereas before I used to wipe my tush.
- So thank you guys so much for watching,
by watching our videos, you're
enabling Lia to buy four-ply!
- Okay, so let's just check it's four-ply
'cause if it isn't four-ply,
I won't be able to wipe my bum with it.
- [Joel] Right, she's
got a very fussy bum.
- This is all a joke by the way guys,
I literally don't care.
- [Joel] This is three
layers, just three-ply.
- That's three-ply,
that'll do to be honest,
as long as it isn't scratchy.
- [Joel] Yeah.
- As long as it isn't paper.
- Yeah, sand paper.
- Sand paper.
- I buy mine in bulk on Amazon
and it's not very good quality, sadly.
- [Lia] But Joel, I don't
have as much space as you.
- Yeah, it's true.
Some scumbag has opened
that and just raided it.
- [Lia] Oh that's horrific.
- [Joel] That's so bad.
So Lia's looking at tissues.
- Just these ones so that
I don't put like loo roll
next to my bed.
- [Joel] Yeah and they say extra large
and I just told her that these
used to be called man size,
and then it got banned
'cause it was sexist.
- So you can't call a
tissue man size tissue
'cause that triggered too many.
- [Joel] Men and women, women were like,
"Well I want big tissues,
why is it man size?"
- Joel, it's still there!
Man size!
- [Joel] Oh my god!
- [Lia] They've moved it to the bottom.
- [Joel] They've moved it
right to the bottom corner.
Sexist!
- Sexist!
- Right, Lia's defying gender stereotypes
and she's getting man size.
I've just had a horrible flashback.
When I used to work for Andrex bum wipes
and I was in the car park of a Tesco
trying to get people to feel
the towelettes and be like,
"Yeah, wipe your bum with them."
It was so awkward.
Teaching mainly middle-aged
women how to wipe their bum,
they were uncomfortable,
I was uncomfortable,
that was my job, in a Santa hat,
it was around Christmas time as well.
Bum wipes.
- [Lia] Thank you Andrex.
- Thank you Andrex for the 70
quid for eight hours' work.
(both laugh)
- I love that we've spent so much time
of our Christmas vlog
in the loo roll section.
- I mean, it's an important thing.
- Are we going upstairs?
Please tell me they've got one of those
- [Joel] Travelators, yeah they do!
- That's what I'm here for.
- Oh look, tinsel!
Try on some tinsel.
- Oh okay.
Yeah and then not pay for it.
- [Joel] Yeah.
Triggered, "I can't believe
you're wearing tinsel!"
- I'm keeping this on for the vlog guys
and we're gonna spray some perfume on it.
- [Joel] Oh get over it.
- It smells like Warehouse.
- [Joel] Does it? You could
spray something on it then.
- I just like tickled my nose.
- [Joel] So, how disrespectful is this?
All I want for Christmas is
Okay.
- [Joel] Let's go.
- As soon as Joel gives me
the eyes, I know to stop.
- [Joel] I'm like, stop.
- He gives me the eyes as
if someone's looking at us
like we're crazy.
- [Joel] I know, I felt someone
out of the corner of my eye
just like watching and I
thought it was security.
- Up the travelators, oh my gosh.
- [Joel] Oh here we go, don't crash!
- The reason why this is exciting guys
is 'cause we don't really
get these in London.
- [Joel] No, look!
They're flat!
Oh and it locks the trolley
so you can't move it,
try pushing that.
Push it.
You can't.
- Trolley's locked.
Oh I love the views from up here.
- [Joel] The views are stunning.
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
It's good though, isn't it?
You can see what aisle what's on.
- [Joel] Yeah, the vibes
in here are mental.
Oh look, 19 sleeps before Christmas!
- Well, wow.
Well, everyone knows my
feeling on this material.
- [Joel] You love it.
- I love that.
- When we tried on something
like this in Walmart,
people were like, "You're gonna get nits!"
Don't care.
- [Lia] Do it for the vlog
darling. Oh that's adorable!
Thumbnail!
Aww.
He's such a cute little Christmas
- The lice.
- [Lia] The lice!
Super Turkey.
Imagine you just going home
for Christmas this year
and your family are
like, "You've changed!"
- You've changed!
I'm a Youtuber now.
(Lia laughs)
- [Lia] I like the size
of this wine glass,
look at that.
Do you know what?
I need to stop talking about alcohol,
I saw a comment today that was like,
"You guys need to
seriously stop drinking."
- We never drink!
- [Lia] Honestly, it's all a prop guys.
- It's all a prop.
Also, you see like a heavily
edited section of our lives
and then that's when we drink.
- [Lia] Yeah, we literally
don't drink booze at all.
- No, never! But you think
we do it all the time.
- [Lia] People are like, "You're
always drinking in videos."
- No, I'm not.
(Lia laughs)
- Joel just said hi to people,
they're definitely not viewers,
they were like waving at us.
- They were like, "You're vlogging!"
- And it was like, yep.
- We've just bought some Crimbo cards.
- Not gonna show you them
'cause they're going to our families.
- Yeah, lucky people!
- Doing the right thing!
Get them in the post next
week, need to get some stamps.
- Oh yeah.
- Doesn't interest us any of this.
- [Joel] No.
- Well no, not until we've got a house.
I just sounded like so ungrateful like,
not until you've got your own place.
- No but it's true, I love
looking around homewares
but we haven't got a house that's our own,
or like, we flat share with other people
so it's like, you don't
wanna buy nice things
'cause it's not yours.
- It's gonna get ruined, yeah.
- It's shared.
- Sha-hared.
- Sha-hared.
- Oh I do like looking at pans and stuff.
- [Joel] Oh yeah.
- Copper stone pan, that looks well nice.
Throwback to when I
needed to heat my house
with all those electric heaters.
- I just explained how
placemats work to Lia!
- [Lia] What did you say?
- I was like, "Oh we
have these in our house,
you put them on the table
and then you put your plates on them."
- [Lia] Why did you do that?!
- That's what placemats are.
- [Lia] That's mansplaining.
- Yeah, sorry.
- [Lia] You're not allowed to do that.
- Do you know what placemats are?
- [Lia] That's a really
unattractive quality,
you don't normally do that to me.
- No, I'm the biggest
you know, ally of women.
- [Lia] Yeah, exactly.
- So I've just seen more cards but
- [Lia] Anyone that tickle your fancy?
- Guys it's so funny,
just walked past a Mum who then
whispered to her kids like,
"They're vlogging."
Like so many people in this shop are like,
"Vlogging?!"
- [Lia] Really?
- "They're vloggers!"
- [Lia] I like that!
It's Walmart all over again.
Ohhh yeah.
(gasps)
The bottom halves feel very nice!
- [Joel] Treat yourself!
- [Lia] I'll just put
that on my Christmas list
if anyone wants to send that to me!
No, I'm kidding.
- Do you wanna do self-checkout
or get someone to scan it for us?
- [Lia] Erm, well it depends
if I'm gonna get ID'd
for my bleach.
- I don't think you get ID'd for bleach.
(Lia laughs)
- Well we've passed the
self-checkout, there's a queue,
let's get someone to scan it for us.
- [Lia] Okay.
- Oh here's a nice lady.
- [Lia] Here's a nice lady!
- Here's a nice lady,
she'll help us! (Lia laughs)
Right, we've finished.
- Finished!
So thrilled with my Christmas shopping.
- [Lia] Yeah well done, loo roll.
- Thank you so much,
treat yourself for Christmas guys.
- [Lia] Three-ply!
Hurry up, please.
- Well, thanks for joining us today guys,
that's been another day of Vlogmas.
- Yep, another day of Vlogmas over,
we've been to Asda, our British Walmart.
I mean, it's very normal to us
but we thought maybe you
guys would enjoy watching it
and lots of you asked
after the Walmart video,
do a British supermarket,
so that's what we did.
- [Lia] So there you have it,
I mean you know, there's no, nope.
- I mean, um, yep.
- I mean, no-one can
complain can they really?
- No, well anyway, it's
another day of Vlogmas done,
we're running out of ideas.
- Running out of ideas guys!
And we just literally walked around Asda,
so hopefully that'll pass.
- Yep, no hate everyone,
come back tomorrow.
- Hope everyone's feeling christmassy!
- Yeah, get your loo roll three-ply
and we'll see you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow guys!
- See you, subscribe, goodbye!
- Bye! Notifications!
