

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locations are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events, places, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2012 by Lucy Swing

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

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Book Cover design by Kat Savage

ISBN: 9781470020873

I knew what was happening, even though I could not understand why. I was falling; that much was unmistakable. The air rushed around me, buffeting me.

What would I do once I arrived? Would I even remember this past existence? I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the feeling of peace that the wind beneath me always brought.

Soon it would all be over.

I finally reached the ground. A shiver of energy ran across my skin and back as each cell began its transformation. I was being born. I opened my eyes and glanced around at the strange, colorful world. The trees stood tall, casting shadows like great carpets unrolled from their bases. The sky above me was like a dome closed over a music box. I had never seen anything more beautiful... had I? I shook my head to clear the haze.

I tried to balance myself on a fallen tree trunk. I wasn't used to walking on these feet. I looked down, wiggling my toes, and let go of the tree and took a few steps forward. My body felt heavy, and then darkness fell over me.

"Jade! I swear, if you don't get up now . . ." Mom closed the bedroom door, trusting the threat of the unsaid to throw me into motion.

I groaned and kicked off the warm covers, as I stretched.

"I'm up!" I called back to her.

I sat up on my bed and dangled my feet over the edge. It was the first day of senior year, and I was dreading it.

I moved over to the closet, where I scolded myself for being too lazy to pick the perfect beforehand. I grabbed my favorite pair of denim shorts and my old AC/DC long-sleeved T-shirt, and made my way to the bathroom. I was almost done with my morning routine when I heard the door creak.

"Jade? Are you almost ready?" My best friend's high-pitched singsong voice called from behind the door. "Are you decent?"

"Yeah, come in. I'm almost done." I leaned closer to the mirror and applied the black eye-liner to my lower lid.

"Are you excited?" She had one of those voices that are sweet like honey, but still manage to be high pitched. She sat on the edge of the bathtub, playing with a strand of loose hair. She was wearing a white blouse embroidered with pink flowers that flowed weightlessly over her body, accentuated only by the glimmer of her tanned skin. She seemed to always look effortlessly perfect.

Summer had been uneventful; we mostly spent our days at North Beach, lying around and soaking the sun, cooling off with the occasional dip in the ocean. Granted, after the first week of doing absolutely nothing, things got kind of boring. There is so much one can do in a sitting position at the beach. I shouldn't complain though, watching half clothed boys play beach football was very, _very_ enjoyable. Instead, we opted for something a little more active, hiking.

Hollow Falls is entrapped by long miles of forests, so finding the right spot took us close to three weeks. It was worth it. Our favorite spot became what we began calling as 'Fantasy Land'. The tall, maple trees casted shadows on the forest floor. The magical silence that seemed to weight upon us was only interrupted by the creaking of leaves, branches and bark under our feet. Beyond the three mile walk there was a glittering creek, surrounded with gravel banks, where we enjoyed the rest of our afternoon splashing about.

"Not really," I answered.

"You mean to tell me you're not ready for another fun-filled year of schoolwork?" She met my gaze in the mirror, and I left the memories of sunny, carefree days behind as I rolled my eyes.

"It's going to be torture," I said, putting my makeup bag back in the drawer. "But at least it's our last year."

I picked up the messenger bag from the floor next to my bed and gave my room another quick glance. I shouldn't be in a rush to get out of Hollow Falls, but somehow I needed to. Hollow Falls is home to 5,385 people, and, as the song goes, "where everybody knows your name." I felt suffocated in such a small town. I had dreams of going places, things I wanted to do that I couldn't see myself doing in this pesky, minuscule town.

Claire followed me downstairs. Mom was in the kitchen, busy packing my lunch. On the table were two plates of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

Claire was as big a presence in this house as I. We seemed to be attached at the hip, and she practically lived here—mostly because of Trent. He was another foster kid in the Langley's' house, and a total creep.

"Mom, I'm not really that hungry," I said.

"You're going to need all the energy you can get, just to stay awake after last night."

Claire's eyebrows scrunched in puzzlement.

"Mom, it was just a nightmare." I said dismissively. Not precisely the truth, but as close as I was willing to let things get. It wouldn't go well if I told them what really happened—what had been happening all summer long.

Claire and I sat down at the table, and I was surprised at how hungry I actually was. After I had stuffed myself, I pushed around what was left on my plate. Deep in thought, I felt my eyelids get heavy, and that quickly I was lost in the darkness behind them.

" _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke_ ," came the whisper that only I could hear. As the word rolled softly out, a flash of red burst in the darkness. I gasped and open my eyes in shock.

"Are you okay?" Claire's voice was distant, as if muffled by an invisible water bubble around me. It was the cool touch of her hand on mine that brought me back to reality. She was staring at me.

I wanted to tell her everything. All about the eerie yet wonderful dreams of a gorgeous dark-haired stranger who kept me awake night after night, haunting my sleep. And about the nightmares of being chased by the dark figure with fire instead of hair. How I woke up night after night gasping for air the moment the figure caught up with me, its icy fingers digging into my arms. But how could I? They were just dreams. I gave a low, soft sigh and went over to the kitchen sink, dropping my plate in it and giving Mom a kiss.

"Ready?" I asked Claire, ruffling her perfectly styled blond bob in passing. I giggled and ran to the door to keep a safe distance from any retaliation.

"Bye, Mom," I yelled, running outside and down the driveway, where I waited until Claire caught up.

"I am so going to get you later," she said as she pulled out her compact mirror and fixed a few loose strands of hair.

"There, there. All perfect now," I said as we began walking. I felt a little twinge of jealousy. She was perfect. Between her golden hair that seemed to shine like ripe wheat, and her perfect almond-shaped gray eyes, I sometimes had a hard time being next to her.

Brushwood High was only a few blocks from my house, and the weather was nice, so we walked. The sky was bare of clouds, and the temperature was perfect. The streets were quiet. Only the soft eep, eep of a chickadee, staking out his turf in the rhododendron bushes, broke the silence. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, absorbing the last bouquet of summer smells: honeysuckle and chamomile and horsemint and new-mown grass. Once winter came and the cold started seeping into our bones, we would be forced to take Claire's yellow Beetle to stay warm.

Brushwood was different from any other school I knew. It was privately owned, and mostly only well-off parents could afford the tuition. I had often wondered why my parents worked longer hours just so I could go there. An even bigger mystery was how Claire's foster parents managed it.

The school was ancient. Its gray limestone walls made it seem cold, but the inside was anything but. The building had once been a mansion, and the owners kept it that way, though with a few add-ons, such as the cafeteria and a brand-new west wing. The rooms were big, considering that they had to accommodate only about twenty students each.

We were walking along the narrow hallway, deep in conversation, when someone banged into my shoulder, knocking the few books I was carrying to the floor. I looked back, even though I knew who would be standing there: Amy Crayhill, all-American mean girl. She grinned at her minion, Savannah, and mouthed a fake Oops! My way before spinning on her heels and walking away. Typical.

When I turned back around, there he was! Tall, muscular—and holding out my books. Hello, Muscles! My eyes worked their way up to his face. As if that body weren't enough, his face almost made me melt. No way. Gorgeous!

Claire was staring at him, her mouth slightly open. It seemed she agreed with my assessment.

"Here you go," he said, handing me my books. His low and deep voice sent ripples of intensity through my body.

I couldn't move. I couldn't even make my mouth utter a simple thank-you. I just stood there gaping like an idiot.

Claire exhaled loudly and took the books from him. "Thanks," she groaned as she pulled me toward our lockers. "What's gotten into you?"

I glanced back and was surprised to find him still in the same spot, looking back at us. My lips pulled at the edges, and I managed to smile back at him.

"You know him?" I asked Claire, failing in my feeble attempt at nonchalance.

"No," she said. Then she brightened. "Oh, look, there's Nate!" She let go of my arm and handed me my books before hurrying away.

I shamelessly stole another look down the hallway, but he was gone. There was a weird buzzing energy inside me. Excitement, maybe? No one ever moved into our nowhere little berg; it was usually the other way around.

As usual, Nate was leaning against our lockers, his nose in a car magazine. He lifted his eyes from the page just as Claire launched herself at him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. One week apart, and they acted as if they hadn't seen each other all summer.

"Gross." I glanced around, scouting to make sure no teachers were looking. When they finally came up for air I said, "I don't know how you do it, Nate. She spent the whole week whining about you being gone." I slid my books into the locker and arranged them neatly by height. "Oh, I wonder what he's doing now," I said, mimicking her. "Oh, I hope he's safe." I rolled my eyes.

"You're just jealous," she said, sticking her tongue out.

I laughed, mostly because of the mouse like way her nose wrinkled up. I walked past them and toward class. I lost myself in thoughts of the encounter with the new kid, hearing Claire's giggles coming from behind.

First period, the class I paid the least attention in, was world history. The first day of the year was always rough, and today would have been no exception, but the exciting prospect of seeing him again kept me awake, alert, and alive, ready to listen to Mr. Morris's every droning word about pre-Roman Europe.

Nate, Claire, and I had been inseparable since the beginning of high school. In fact, those two were already glued together well before I even met them. People often made fun that I was the eternal third wheel on their bicycle built for two.

I found my way to the last row and took the seat closest to the window so I could enjoy the view of the clear blue water in the bay. Wishing it were still summer, I gazed out at the boats on the water.

"Can't we sit closer to the front?" Claire hissed. "We look like hermits back here."

"Be my guest," I said, my eyes still glued to the boats. "I like it back here." It was true. Being able to see everyone gave me some sense of control—no sneak attacks could come from behind. Maybe being tormented by Amy all these years was starting to leave a scar after all. Claire sighed loudly, prompting me to look at her as she sat down at the desk in front of me, pouting. Nate took the seat beside her.

As I busied myself pulling out my notebook from my backpack, I caught a glimpse of Claire and Nate. Their mouths had dropped in unison, and their eyes were locked on something in the hall, seen through the glass of our now closed classroom door. There was nothing but a blank wall outside.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked.

They closed their mouths and nodded, trying to make it seem as though all was well. Claire opened her notebook, while Nate leaned back on his seat, entwining his fingers behind his head. But their expressions remained strange. They were always the very picture of calm, peace, and tranquility, but right now their eyes showed a mixture of surprise and anxiety. Almost crackling with tension, they looked at each other but didn't say a word.

"Seriously guys," I said, "what's up?"

The abrupt opening of the classroom door captured everyone's attention. I jumped in my seat, banging my knees against my desk, half expecting to see a blood-crazed zombie come lurching in. But it was only Mr. Morris, fumbling through an apologetic explanation instead of enjoying his prerogative to be late.

The clamor subsided as Morris began the usual introductions and explanations, with the usual little chirps and flutters from the class interrupting his routine speech. A minute or two into this, the door swung open again, and he walked in, with his backpack slung over one shoulder.

I looked down at my notebook and tried to hide the smile that crept over my face. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nate and Claire staring at me, but I was too excited to pay them much attention. The latecomer handing in his tardy slip was far more interesting.

"Oh, so the new kid is late on his very first day," Mr. Morris joked as he placed the slip on top of some scattered papers on his desk. He looked over his roster. "Don't worry, you get the standard punishment: staying awake for the rest of class."

A few alert kids, including me, chuckled, but we all stopped when he spoke again: "All right, everyone," he continued while the new kid stood next to him, looking a little self-conscious. "Our newcomer's name is Avan Thomas. Someone, please let him sit down without making him feel awkward." Avan took a step forward.

I gave him a quick overall glance again, and then my eyes ran back to his face, where, to my surprise and discomfort, they met his. I turned away, pretending to be casual, pretending that his being here didn't faze me in the least, but I still felt strangely embarrassed. I was relieved when he put those eyes to work scanning for an empty desk—which happened to be the one beside mine.

Before sitting down, he smiled and insolently saluted everyone who had been staring. I giggled under my breath as Mr. Morris went on with his droning.

After searching his bag, Avan reluctantly turned my way. I felt every muscle in my body stiffen up. He was about to tap my shoulder when Claire grabbed my arm so hard, she almost pulled me out of my seat.

Way to go, Claire—make me look clumsy! I thought. Though I have to admit, if there was a wall in front of me, it was a good bet I would walk straight into it.

"What!" I hissed in an exasperated tone.

"Pay attention to class," she said, giving my arm a final squeeze.

I looked at Avan and gave him an apologetic smile. I waited for him to continue with what he was going to say, but instead he looked away and at Nick Frost, who was sitting on his other side, and leaned over.

After a short whisper, Nick dug into his backpack and pulled out a pen, which he handed nervously to Avan. No one ever talked to Nick. He had transferred from Hollow Falls public school in sophomore year and had instantly been treated like a leper. I guess the curly red hair, acne, and thick-framed reading glasses didn't help his case.

As I looked forward, trying hard to listen to what was in store for the rest of the year; I could see some of the girls in class turn around and bat their mascaraed eyelashes at Avan. Some were whispering to each other, while others just "happened" to look his way. Could they perhaps be a little more obvious? He had been in the room for all of three minutes, and he already had half the girls drooling over him. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was dreamy.

It was pretty clear that he would not be another Nick Frost.

Close to the end of class, while Mr. Morris was still busy scrawling unreadable hieroglyphics on the chalkboard, Avan finally spoke to me.

"Hi."

I turned to find him smiling at me, his dark hair falling over his blue eyes.

"Hi." My voice trembled. Why was he making me so nervous?

"You're still awake," he said, doing a mock stretch and messing up his hair with his hand. He had a thick black leather bracelet on his wrist—the very one I was always eyeing at the local Hot Topic store.

"Barely," I said, laughing. "I'm Jade." By instinct, I suppose, I stuck out my hand.

"Avan," he said, shaking it.

I could never have prepared myself for what happened next. The instant our hands touched, an explosion of light blinded me. My hand tensed up so hard, my joints hurt. Through the dazzling brightness, I could see the charge in his blue eyes. The image before me changed into one of me floating in the sky, falling... until I reached him. I felt his hand go limp, and I instantly let go, realizing that I was holding my breath.

I took a deep breath, and the blazing light slowly dimmed. It took some time for my eyes to adjust, and a little bit longer for my heart to stop trying to jump out of my chest.

After a first period that had proved to be anything but boring, the bell rang.

"That's quite a grip you've got there, Jade," Avan said, rubbing his hand in make-believe pain and smiling nervously as he got up.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered. Trying to lighten the mood, I added, "I work out—what can I say?"

Had he felt it, too? Had he seen the bright light? I looked nervously at Claire, who had turned to face us. Her eyes looked ready to pop out of their sockets.

What the hell had just happened?

Any trace of that girlish excitement was wiped away by what I can only call an instant transformation of my being.

Avan got up and walked toward the door, melting into the eager, boisterous throng of dismissed students. He was tall enough that I could see him out in the hall, making a quick study of his schedule before disappearing down the hall.

It felt as though I sat still forever at my desk before I dared to sling my messenger bag over my head and look at Claire. Everything now felt normal; all systems seemed to be working fine. This heartened me. Claire looked at me and then to where Avan had disappeared.

"You have no idea what you've just done," she murmured in a threatening tone.

"What is your problem, Claire?" I asked through clenched teeth. "Why are you being so weird?"

She looked at me, and her features suddenly softened. She smiled and waved me off as if I were crazy. "Look, the guy seems nice," she said. "But I don't think he's your type, you know? Talking in class and getting into trouble isn't worth it."

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously?" I said. "You and I talk all the time. What's so different now?" I could feel that the topic was somehow upsetting me.

Claire and Nate led me out of the classroom and onward to next period. I was a little uneasy about standing up and taking the first few steps, not knowing if more blinding lights in my head would again reduce me to Jell-O. The hallway was still busy with students greeting each other, excited to catch up with friends they hadn't seen in months. Adding to the clamor was the clatter of lockers opening and slamming shut.

"Since when do I have a type?" I said. "It's not like I've had boyfriends or anything. I would think that file is still open for further investigation." Apparently, I still had all the charm of a Siamese cat. My trademark sarcasm seemed to have come away from the experience unscathed.

"What Claire is trying to say, Jade, is that the new kid doesn't seem to come from the right kind of crowd for you." Nate said. He seemed to think it important that he go on the record as siding with his girlfriend.

Crowd? How would either of them have the foggiest notion what kind of "crowd" was right for me? It seemed as if they were trying to convince themselves more than me. Claire gave a sort of noncommittal nod, and we continued walking toward our next class.

Suddenly, the first day back at school was proving to be relentlessly difficult. At lunch, we went to the courtyard and sat under my favorite oak tree. I was halfway through my sandwich when the mind-flooding voice came through, loud as thunder, with nothing I could do to resist it. I got only a dim understanding of what I was being told again: the same strange word with the same sense of hearing it as a warning: _"Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke_." I squinted and shook my head. Claire and Nate looked at me in unison with arched brows.

"Are you okay?" Nate asked. I must have nodded, because he continued, while attempting to touch my hand, which immediately darted away to hide behind me. "You sure don't look too well."

"Yeah . . . just a headache." Like my hand, my mouth seemed to be working independently of me. I set my tray to the side and put my head down on the wooden picnic table. I felt the warmth of Claire's hand on the back of my neck and jerked away.

"What?" she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. But no light blinded me this time. There was only a sense of peace. I lay back on the grass with my head on my arm and closed my eyes.

* * *

A small shake woke me from the light sleep I had fallen into. Nate was gone, and Claire was looking at me with concern.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" she said. I opened my mouth to tell her, but would she even believe me? Could she possibly? "Do you want me to walk you to the Nurse office?"

I shook my head and looked at my watch. "I'll be okay," I said as I picked up my lunch sack and books, and we walked past the cafeteria and back toward our lit class. I hurried in and sat down in the far left corner. By now it would not have been a stretch to complain of a headache. It seemed that the dam holding the force of what I had been resisting all morning just crumbled. Usually, the voice was always fleeting, but its effects lasted quite a while and sapped me of any vigor. All I could do was rub my temples, sigh, and wish I could be in my bed.

The fluorescent lights above us were not helping—forcing me to squint, adding to the pressure in my forehead. I wished darkness would wash over me. As if on cue, the light bulbs around my seat went off with an audible clicking sound. Mr. Gatley sent one of the girls in the front row to tell the maintenance man about it.

I reached for the small pocket of my bag, where I kept a few Band-Aids and some ibuprofen. I threw two of the tablets onto my tongue and washed them down with a squeeze from an apple juice carton I grabbed from Claire's bag. She let me off with just a scowl. I half smiled and rested my head, which felt heavier than ever, on my left hand—yet another symptom of my need to be always vigilant. "Better heads up than heads rolling," I always said. But why couldn't I ever just let my guard down even a little?

It was odd that after the morning's strange events and the last booming intrusion by the voice, I was starting to think that maybe I should try to communicate with it. Perhaps the voice that was warning me over and over about that unpronounceable thing might shed a little more light on what it meant.

Yup, I was definitely going off the deep end. Was I really contemplating a conversation with a voice in my head? As if it weren't bad enough being the only one hearing it!

It wouldn't hurt, right? I would still try when I got home. I was usually alone until Mom came home from work at five thirty. That would give me enough time, though Claire was most likely going to hang out after school. It seemed that Mom had gotten a bargain: two girls for the price of one.

The rest of the day went smoothly and without further mishap. It looked as though luck was on my side—I found myself in three other classes with Avan. He seemed to be taking it in stride, and actually spoke to me again as we walked together to our last period, biology.

With my head resting on my arms, I opened my eyes and watched the way Avan took notes and listened in class. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was sitting across the room from me, but I could swear that I heard his heart beating. Strong and steady. His eyes met mine, and his heart beat faster—or was it mine?

Before I knew it, Claire and I were walking home, feeling the light breeze move pleasantly around us. I babbled about Avan for a moment, but only until I realized Claire wasn't listening to a word I was saying. As usual when they were apart, she was already texting Nate. I let out a low sigh, and resigned myself to walk in silence.

Finally, in the peace and calm of home, though my head felt quite clear, I told Claire I was going to take a shower—the perfect excuse to have some alone time and try to evoke the voice. I abandoned Claire, who needed no looking after while lounging happily downstairs, her eyes glued to the TV. I couldn't understand her fascination with those reality shows. There was no real anything; it was all scripted, and everyone knew it.

I wanted to see if the voice would come. I wanted to try to provoke it, wanted it to know that I heard it loud and clear. In my room, I made sure Claire was still babbling away on the phone, with the TV on, before I closed the door.

I lay on my bed with my ankles crossed and my eyes closed. What now? I lay there, but the only voice that came to me was Claire's muffled chatter from downstairs. Come on, voice—talk.

"Hi," I croaked out loud. "Oh, how stupid," I whispered to myself, embarrassed at the thought of being heard. I cleared my throat and continued softly, looking at the closed door. "Can you hear me?" I closed my eyes and waited for an answer, but none came. At least the voice was keeping quiet. Should that mean anything? "If you can hear me, I have heard your warning and I understand." I didn't really have a clue; I just needed it to stop. "You don't need to keep repeating yourself over and over again."

Silence.

I held my breath. Had it heard me? Was it that easy? I opened my eyes, uncrossed my legs, rolled onto my side, and enjoyed the first real quiet time I had had all day.

The comfort of the sheets, and the peace of mind my little experiment gave me lulled me into a meditative half-awake, half-asleep state. I imagined again the moment when our hands met, and the thrilling sensation that had coursed through me, changing me. I became aware that it felt as though I was getting used to being in a new skin. There was an especially strange sensation wrapping around my shoulders, but I didn't find it unpleasant. I dreamed of limitless, beckoning skies. There was a soft whisper.

_She will soon be coming. Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke."_ It was soft and low, and so clear. The vision faded, and I opened my eyes.

I had finally understood correctly.

Nate came over to the house around six. Claire blew on her freshly painted nails and carefully closed the pink nail polish. Even though both she and Nate ate with my family almost every night, tonight just we kids were going out for some burgers at the local diner, giving Mom and Dad an unusual chance for some time alone. Why celebrate the first day back at school? I had no idea, but I was pretty sure that whoever came up with this tradition must have been a total nerd.

Charley's Diner was the most popular hangout spot for kids in our school, and to get a good table, you had to get there early. Nate dropped us off at the front so we could grab a booth before the crowd showed up. We sat on opposite sides and both reached for a menu. It was an involuntary motion, I suppose, since we always ordered the same thing: a Biggie Burger with the works—cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and bacon on a toasty grilled bun. My mouth watered at the mere thought.

I watched the door open, expecting it to be Nate, but instead it was the oh-so-popular Amy and her cheerleading clique. After them came a couple of the guys from the football team and, to my surprise, Avan.

My muscled stiffened.

Amy had always made it her mission in life to go out of her way to make every kid at Brushwood who was not worthy of her friendship feel miserable. Even the popular students were harassed sometimes, and the only one truly immune to her viciousness was any attractive boy—in this case, Avan. When Amy's little coterie found their seats, I could see that she was behaving exactly as expected. She patted the spot next to her, and Avan followed. She batted her long, dark eyelashes at him as she twirled her hair. I sank lower in my seat, raising the menu so they wouldn't see me . . . so he wouldn't see me.

"What's going on?"

Nate had walked in, but I had been too preoccupied with hating Amy to notice. He pulled my menu to the side.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the menu back to my face, this time right up to my nose. "Amy's here, and she brought the new kid along," I said, nodding toward their table. Nate closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. Claire sat with a straw in her mouth. She followed my gaze to the corner table where Amy and her crew were sitting, and gave them a look of disapproval.

"Well, there goes another victim." Claire sat straighter as the waitress approached with our usual chocolate milkshakes.

"Why are you so down on him?" I said. Whatever she had against the guy was a bit of a mystery. Claire and Nate never treated anyone like an outcast—they knew what that felt like.

"Jade, darling, think about it. He is sitting with Amy, and you know the kind of people she attracts, so..."

She did have a valid point there. The only kind of people who dated Amy tended to have a pretty thin cerebral cortex. Amy's fake laughter echoed throughout the diner every time Avan spoke. She tossed her hair to the side and moved closer to him.

My hands balled into fists every time she touched him.

I wanted to enjoy the evening. I really did try. I wanted not to care about her or about her being with him. But it was proving futile. Even though my eyes kept seeking him, he never once looked my way. I assumed he was too busy being cool. Now that he was in with popular crowd, it seemed that nothing else mattered. We finished our meals and sat for a while, talking about everything and nothing.

I needed to stall our departure. I didn't just want to get up and walk past them. Knowing Amy, she would take any chance to make a fool of me. That would be the perfect way to kill the competition she saw in Claire and me. I was hoping her group would leave before we did, but they just kept talking. What could she ever have to say this long? I got my chance to escape when Avan got up to go to the restroom. I practically pulled Claire and Nate bodily out of their chairs, and the moment Avan stepped out of sight we made our exit.

Amy didn't let me down, though. She piped up when she saw us walking past, but we moved too fast for her to finish a sentence. After we were a few steps out the door, she came running out with Savannah and Melissa, two of her cheerleader friends.

"Look, girls, there go the three little freaks. Going home to make your little voodoo dolls?" She stood with her weight on one leg, and her hand on her hip.

I usually would just let her taunt and insult me. I had spent years learning how to block her out, but seeing her with Avan had woken something in me—something that wasn't necessarily nice. I turned and walked right up to her face.

"What is your problem, Amy? Huh? I don't get it. You don't feel good enough about yourself, so you have to put everyone else down? Why don't you find a better way of living your life, and leave us out of your misery."

Her friends dropped their jaws in disbelief. She tried to hide her shock, but it was too late. She scowled at me a little longer and added, "Don't even think for a second you are invited to my party this Friday, freak." With a flip of her hair, she strutted back into the diner.

"Ooh-h-h-h!" I grunted the moment the door closed behind her. I kicked the ground. "I cannot stand her! Who does she think she is?" I wasn't talking to anyone in particular—just hoping that one day I would be able to understand. Claire looped her arm through mine and pulled me forward.

Nate had parked a couple blocks away from the diner, and as we hurried along the dark streets of downtown, I saw something move from the corner of my eye. I peered at it. The person or animal was crawling strangely on the sidewalk across the street. It seemed as though someone had a bit too much to drink or had fallen.

Nate and Claire were on that side of me, making a clear view impossible. I slowed down to get a better look. At first it was too dark. The nearest streetlight to where the person was slouching had been shattered—I could still see the glinting glass shards on the ground. I couldn't make out what the figure was doing, but as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see it crawl across the sidewalk, into an alley, and (unless I really was going insane) up onto the side of the building. I stopped, frozen.

"What is that?" I said, louder than necessary. My voice carried on the empty street.

Both Claire and Nate turned and glanced across the street. At that moment, the person or animal climbed down off the wall and began making its way over to us on all fours. It approached with fast, jerking motions. Its head was cocked sideways, and its face was covered in a dark, shiny liquid. It couldn't be sweat. It looked more like blood.

Claire searched for my hand and pulled me forward. "Run!" she cried, and our feet pounded the gravel as we made our way toward the car. She dipped her hand into the pocket of her jacket and fumbled with the keys. Once, twice, she tried to unlock it, and nothing happened.

I looked back. Nate was falling behind. "Come on, Nate! Run!" I yelled. The thing was still coming at us on all fours, its head cocked to one side and then the other in what looked like painful motions. I could hear a gurgling sound in its chest as it closed in on us.

The car lights blinked twice as it unlocked. Claire swung the back door open and shoved me into the seat, then got into the front passenger seat. My heart thudded like a jackhammer. My hand hovered over the lock button, ready to slam it down the second Nate got in. I looked out the back window, just as Nate trotted up and got into the car. He turned to face Claire and then me with a smile.

"The man was just lost," he said as he started the engine. "I guided him to where he needed to go."

"Th— that was no man!" I gasped. "I . . . uh, don't know what it was, but . . . uh, but it was ugly and creepy, and definitely not a man!" I was still trying to catch my breath, and yelling wasn't helping.

"Oh, Jade, you watch way too many scary movies," Claire joked.

If it was a man that was lost, then why had she taken off running with me? I saw that thing, and it was not human. I kept playing the image in my mind, its body hairless and darkened as if it had been burned, and the way its neck was bent. I shivered.

"Seriously, Jade, it was nothing," Nate said as he pressed on the gas and moved the car out onto the street. "Your imagination just created something that wasn't there."

I took one more look back, but there was nothing there—just the dark, empty street. I sank lower on my seat and closed my eyes, trying to get the image of the creature out of my head.

I barely slept that night. To say I was exhausted would be an understatement, yet sleep eluded me anyway. I kept thinking about that thing by the diner, and as much as I tried to pretend I might have been seeing more than was there, I couldn't let it go. I kept waking from nightmares of being chased by that thing, and in the dream it was actually speaking—or, rather, barking. Every time the creature had come too close I got rescued by the same really hot stranger. I couldn't get his deep-green eyes off my mind. Why was he always in my dreams? What did it mean? I woke up so many times; I finally decided just to get up. It was 5:50.

Now that I was out of bed and had turned on the light that sat on top of my nightstand, the nightmares and memories were beginning to seem a little ridiculous. I decided not to think about them. The thought of going to school bolstered me with renewed excitement. I would be seeing Avan again. During the night, I had also tried not to think of him. And here is where the green-eyed stranger came in.

Stop it! He isn't real!

I was being careless with these feelings about Avan. I had just met the guy and I was already obsessing over him, which was so not me. What if his pleasantries toward me were just the same old new-kid's-first-day-making-friends syndrome? It was definitely a possibility.

I went through my entire closet looking for the perfect outfit before finally resigning myself to the reality that there was no such thing. So I opted to wear my favorite dark blue jeans and my loose-fitting black Metallica tee, the one with the angel wings on a skull.

In freshman year, it had been decided by popular consensus that I was the emo girl. I think part of that was Amy's doing, expecting people to alienate me just for being in that category. Some people could be very closed-minded—they figured that because I had jet black hair, was pale to a fault, and loved to dress in black, I was a goth. I didn't mind playing along, though. I always had a little bit of darkness skulking in me. Not that I went out of my way to look this way—I just had those features. Almost every other girl in school went out of her way to get one of those layered haircuts and two-tone dye jobs—definitely not something I would do.

I took my time with my morning routine and made my way downstairs before Mom was awake. I started her coffee and got something to eat before Claire came to pick me up. Dad was an early riser and usually out of the house by five thirty, ready to start his workday. The only quality time I shared with him was in the evenings, especially when we sneaked in a late-night horror movie. I never got to spend enough time with him because of his long hours at the shop, but I was definitely a daddy's girl.

I was busy making eggs when I heard Mom walk down the stairs and stall at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Am I dying and no one's had the guts to tell me?" She was that shocked seeing me awake and industrious this early.

"What? Oh, no." I started laughing. "I was up early, so I figured I'd do something productive. Of course, if you don't want it, I can..." I held the plate precariously over the garbage can.

"No! This is great," she said as she sat down. "I could certainly get used to a little bit of being served." I poured a cup of coffee and brought it over to her, set it next to her plate, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Mom smiled but said in mock concern, "You are seriously worrying me, Jade. Have the body snatchers come?"

"Right, Mom." I rolled my eyes as I walked away. "You're making it seem like I'm a horrible child, or something. I'm just . . ." I waited for the words to manifest in my head, but only one came. "Happy."

Claire did her usual three beeps out front. Any other day, that would have been my wake-up call. In five minutes, she would be knocking on the door and heading upstairs to make me move faster. After I gave Mom another kiss I headed out the door, sneaking my way unseen to the car.

"So this is what you do while you wait for me to get ready, huh?" I said as I popped up next to the half-open passenger window.

Claire nearly put out her eye with the eye-liner.

"Jeez, Jade, you almost made me wet my pants!" she gasped. She looked me up and down when I got in.

"Yes, I know, I'm up and out. Can't a girl be excited to go to school?" I had caught the question mark in her face.

"Um, as far as I'm concerned, no, you can't," she said, smiling while backing out of the driveway. We rounded the end of my cul-de-sac street, and I rolled my window down. I could feel the wind on my face again, hopefully taming down the blush I could feel spreading over my face as I thought about him.

We made it to school early for the first time ever. That meant we were in uncharted territory, so we sat in the cafeteria, making idle talk, all the while eyeing the clock on the wall, waiting for the bell to ring. I could barely contain the smile threatening to take over my face as we approached our classroom.

I tried to keep my cool, walking in and casually scanning the room, leaving the best for last. There he was, making all my memories of him seem a little obsolete. He was talking to Nick, who babbled on and on with all the pent-up conversation that no one had cared enough to hear out of him since he got here. Poor guy must not be used to any attention. While Avan had his back turned to me I decided to take him in slowly: the tousled black hair, the tanned skin, his easy way of moving. I didn't need to see those deep-blue eyes—I could feel them. I had never seen such electricity in anyone's eyes before. They could even put Claire's to shame.

Just as I approached, Avan turned, and the lights emphasized his full lips. I caught myself daydreaming about what kissing them would feel like, and felt my whole face blush. I quickly decided to distract those thoughts by looking out the window. I hadn't noticed someone else's book bag on the floor, and I tripped over it, losing my balance. Claire, who was loyally behind me, steadied me before I could make an even bigger fool of myself. Snickers erupted here and there. I looked down at the floor and sat down, embarrassed.

"Hey, there." His crooked smile revealed a perfect set of pearly whites. Perfection! "That was quite an entrance."

Great—I will never see the end of this. I smiled awkwardly, hoping my little performance would be soon forgotten.

This morning, with his greeting still echoing in my mind, I realized I wanted to know everything that made him, him. He complimented me on the red strands I had just put in my hair, and, in a more relaxed and natural manner than yesterday, we got to talking. The topics ranged from music (thanks to my choice of T-shirts) to movies and books. It felt really good to find someone, besides my best friends, with whom I had so much in common. I kept a safe distance from him, afraid the touch of our skin would rocket me into space again.

Mr. Morris walked in late again and got on with his lecture on the origin of the ancient Etruscans. As much as I tried to concentrate, I found myself glancing sideways at Avan. Every time I stole a look, he was studying me in return. Butterflies did aerobatics in my stomach. Could he really be interested in me? I didn't see how. Maybe Amy had told him about our little encounter last night, and now he thought I was a freak, too. Despite all these warring thoughts, I did manage to get some of Mr. Morris's lecture.

I have to confess that I was ecstatic having him sit so close. For one thing, it would make getting to know him easier. It may seem silly, but hey, I had seen adults get excited over a lot less. I was on a cloud.

The lesson droned on, and I was losing focus. I thought it was from all the sleep I wasn't getting, but I also began feeling that horrible sensation that heralded the unwelcome voice. I was really hoping not to have an episode in class. Something was trying to erupt in my mind. I resisted, but I sensed an unspoken warning trying to rise up again. Soon after, my back began tingling in response and my heart rate quickened.

Maybe I was just coming down with something. I rubbed my neck and rested my head on my other hand.

I got the sense that Nate and Claire were focusing on me again. But they weren't—in fact, it struck me how quiet Claire was being. Given the way she acted yesterday when I was about to talk to Avan, I was surprised she hadn't nudged a hole in my side by now. I tapped on her shoulder and silently ribbed her about being so quiet. History and theology were two of her fortes, and she listened to those lessons with near devotion. But she didn't look much in the mood for jokes. She had both arms rested on the desk, one hand cupping the other. Her gray eyes were distant, staring into space.

"Are you all right?" I whispered. It wasn't every day that her bubbly, loud personality got this subdued. She shook out of her gaze and looked at me. The corner of her mouth lifted ever so slightly. "You know, that's a lame excuse for a smile," I added, looking over at Nate. Were they fighting? No, not likely. I had known them for over three years and had yet to see them fight. Sure, they had disagreements, but sometimes it seemed to be more of a show. His eyes were glued to the chalkboard, and he systematically looked down as he wrote notes. The way he held on to that pen seemed painful.

I had begun doodling on my notebook when warm fingers tapped my arm. The spot where his fingers touched tingled with his energy, but at least I saw no blinding flash of light this time. Before I looked up at him, I noticed a folded paper beside my arm. As I unfolded the note, I saw a simple sentence that made my insides jump with excitement: "Would you have lunch with me?"

Claire's chair smashed into my desk with full force, and she walked toward the front of the class.

"Excuse me, Miss Wagner, where are you going?" Mr. Morris said, moving to stand in her way.

She didn't say anything, just stared at him. I saw his eyes widen just for an instant, and he moved aside, letting Claire walk past.

Weird.

"Nate?" I hissed, my eyes glued to the glass door Claire had just walked out. "What the hell was that? Is everything okay?" I turned back to him just in time to see him nod. His eyes were glued to the door. Just then the bell rang. I stayed in my seat a moment longer. . I looked at the paper in my hand and wrote on it, then passed it back to Avan.

Yes.

Rain Check?

I got up and began gathering my things; just then Claire came strolling back in. Her features were hard and her body tense as she sat back down in front of me.

"What was that all about?" I asked, raising my voice so she could hear me amid the general chatter all around us. I waited for an answer, but none came. Instead, as I stared intently at her I heard her voice in my head. I was sure because her lips never moved.

"They're here. The place is infested."

"Wh- what did you just say?" I asked her.

She turned to face me, a weak smile on her face. "I didn't say a word, hon. Hearing things now?"

Oh, if you only knew. "I heard you say something about the place being infested. What does that mean?" I looked at both her and Nate. "What is going on?"

They reacted in unison. Their eyes widened, and although they tried to hide it, the shock on their faces was unmistakable.

After fourth period, Claire, Nate, and I walked to the cafeteria, barely talking while they dragged me with them at a steady pace. Claire held on to my arm as if she was afraid it might fall off. What was with all this creepiness? Something up ahead made me look twice. I strained my eyes, trying to determine what I was looking at. Feeling the same sudden wash of horror and dread I had felt on the street last night, I saw a sort of dark shadow at the end of the hall.

It was hard to tell whether there really was anything there, because it sort of glided in and out of view. There were a lot of people around, and it seemed to mix in with the crowd. If it actually was something, it seemed to be hiding behind other students. No one seemed to notice it, though. I raised my hand to point at the thing. I was about to ask Nate if he saw it, too, when he pulled me into a classroom.

There was no time to react. The next thing I knew, I was in a fourth-grade classroom.

"What was that?" I said as I tried to move past Nate and take another peek out into the hall.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Nate. Why the hell did you pull me in here? And what was that outside?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jade." He looked behind him and then moved toward the door. Claire opened it and walked in, all chirpy.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go eat!"

Nate shoved his hands into his hip pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. "Umm, I'll see you girls later," he said as he slid her hand into his and gave her one of their silent looks. "I have to go do some stuff off school grounds, but I'll be here when you get out, okay?" He kissed the back of her hand and disappeared amid the throng of students in the hall.

"What was that all about?" I asked as Claire pulled me forward and we made a short stop at my locker. I couldn't help but feel that something highly unusual was going on, and for the first time, I had the suspicion that my best friends knew something they didn't trust me to hear. They seemed to be trying to hide something big under a too-small blanket.

I sat at the lunch table waiting for Claire to get out of the dreadful cafeteria line. As usual, I had brought my own lunch. I wasn't really hungry anyway, so to pass the time—and, once again, to keep my mind off the strange things I had been seeing—I pulled out my hardcover copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. The cafeteria line seemed to be barely moving today, and I was having trouble getting into the book. The clamor and clatter of the cafeteria seemed louder than usual, and that wasn't helping my concentration any.

Someone sat down across from me. I stiffened, somehow knowing it was him, and put the book down. As usual, my intuition was right. There, across the table from me, sat Avan, chin propped up on his elbows, smiling. He looked around, then put his backpack on the floor beside him.

"You know," I said, "sitting at this table is extremely bad for your rising reputation."

"Good thing no one's watching, then." He looked around and then stared at me.

Claire set her tray down next to me and sat down. "Seriously dude, sitting here is a death wish," she said. "You're buddies with Amy. I would suggest you make her happy and sit with her—she's already giving us the evil eye, so . . ." She nodded toward Amy's table.

Avan turned around, trying to be inconspicuous, but Amy caught his eye and waved desperately at him, making sad faces as she patted the wooden bench next to her.

"Seems like she misses you," Claire said.

I kicked her under the table, and she just looked at me. I couldn't believe how rude she was being. I turned my attention back to Avan.

"That's okay," he said to Claire. "Jade already warned me. I'm really not the kind of person you seem to think I am, but if you'd rather I sat someplace else, it's okay." He raised an eyebrow as he looked into my eyes, and then stood up and walked away without saying another word.

I felt terrible. He was being nothing but sweet, and Claire had to run him off. I wanted to talk to him, and I wanted him to sit at our table. Why did she have to act this way? The table he chose was not Amy's—that made me happy inside, I have to admit. He sat with Nick Frost, who eagerly welcomed his presence.

Amy gave us an exasperated look and walked toward Avan. She put on her best smile and slid her arm around his shoulder. I imagined she would try to have him sit at her table. But when he apparently turned her down, Amy stomped over to our table. If this were a cartoon, there would have been smoke coming out of her ears.

As she approached I felt myself tense up, ready for her to lash out at us. I was tired of this hierarchy that, I supposed, existed in every school, and I couldn't wait until I was away from Amy, until I could be myself without looking over my shoulder to see who was watching.

Behind Amy, Avan turned his head to the side and briefly looked at me. He seemed hurt, and it made me feel awful. I felt a familiar faint tingling in my back, which progressed slowly into the same burning ache as earlier. She put her hands on our table, right where Avan had sat.

"Do not even think you're going to be hanging out with him," she snarled. "He's too good for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Don't waste your time, okay? He's free to hang out with whomever he chooses. And I didn't ask him to sit with me, all right, Amy?"

I said all this without even deigning to look up at her, then opened up my book and pretended to resume my reading. But I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to slap her for being so stupid. How dare she tell me who I could or couldn't hang out with?

Then, to my complete astonishment, she reached over the table and, snatching the book right out of my hand, slammed it down on the table. Every head around us turned to see what was going on.

"Listen here," she said in a tone dripping with condescension, "you freaks are three of a kind, so don't go messing with the natural order of life. People like him"—she pointed with her thumb back to where Avan was sitting—"do not belong with you."

She punctuated the last word with a glare straight into my eyes, making sure her point was getting across. She didn't faze me, though. I gave her my best bored-to-death look and hoped she would leave.

"Then again, Nathaniel looks like he could be normal. I'll never understand what he's doing here with you two."

By then, Claire had had it. She stood up, and her face was transformed. This was not the sweet, bubbly Claire anymore. She was giving Amy a real rattlesnake stare.

I could see in Amy's eyes that the unspoken threat had come through, loud and clear. She retreated quickly to her table and started murmuring to the cheerleaders, who in turn began casting dark looks at us. I spent the rest of the day avoiding the silent vitriol coming from Amy's clan. It wasn't as if I had actually done anything, either. It really was amazing how much that girl could influence people and poison their minds against someone else.

As the school day ended, I walked to Claire's car. She was still talking to Mr. Bennar, our biology teacher, about an assignment that was due in a couple of weeks. Nate was out of sight but probably not far away. I leaned on Claire's car and started picking at my nail polish. I was seriously overdue for a manicure. I heard someone walking my way and ignored it until a tall shadow slid into view and stopped in front of me.

"Is it bad for my reputation to talk to you now?"

What was it about him that made me so nervous? Without moving my eyes from my nails, I teased, "It's certainly going to make a dent in it. I already had an earful from your girlfriend. But hey, it's your own popularity you're digging a grave for, you know?" I slowly traced my way to his eyes.

"Gee, which of my many girlfriends was that? I just can't keep count," he joked back. We were quiet for a moment, and then he took another step closer. "I wanted to apologize about earlier. I don't know her too well, but she seems to have it in for you." His thumbs hung casually to the straps of his backpack.

I laughed under my breath. Boy, was he right! "I guess so. I'm sorry about Claire, too—I don't know what's gotten into her."

My anxiety at this point melted away. Avan's voice made me feel different, as if it spoke to a part of me that I had never known was there. Standing there with his naturally messy hair, he was astoundingly beautiful. He bent down so his face was right in front of mine. I could feel the blood in my veins move faster as my heart thumped harder.

"I've been duly warned about my so called popularity. Now, since we didn't get to have lunch today, would you consider it tomorrow?"

I stared into his face, trying to assess the situation. Why was he so intent on hanging out with me? Was this some evil plan Amy was hatching, with him just doing as she said? I didn't know, and I didn't much care, either.

"Sure, that's fine," I relented, turning my palms up in surrender.

"Perfect. It's a date," he said, while making his way past me to his car, which I couldn't see from where I was standing.

A date? I thought. Was he really considering it a date? What did that even mean?

* * *

Once in the peace and quiet of my own house, it was time for a writing session. I didn't write often, but now that I was experiencing some kind of high I felt inspired. I had the words flowing into me, and I just wanted to put them down on paper before I forgot them.

Above, a moon feels cold,

It's back turned to a black heaven.

But here below, I cannot share its mood.

Where all the stars had been,

There came a crashing fall.

And now, in my heart, I hold all the lights of the sky.

Its face is turned in envy of me.

I know, the moon looks only into my heart,

But my heart is out of reach of the moon's weak pull.

I have another who has gripped my mind

And, soon, will grip my soul.

His eyes are the only ones that will be able to steal my light away.

All that I am, pulled deep into his being.

I keep these secrets to be seen only by him.

When his hand opens, it shall all be given freely.

It was a beautiful day to be outside, and I was glad Avan led me out of the gloomy, raucous cafeteria and toward a picnic table. The sun was struggling to peek through the white, folding clouds, but it still showed itself enough to warm the air. We sat across from each other and made small talk. I met wondering eyes looking our way, and whispers passing by.

"Hi, Avan!" came the sweet but thoroughly fake voice that I had learned to despise. She was closing the space between us, and as soon as Avan wasn't looking she gave me the you are so dead glare.

"Hey, what's up," he mumbled, barely looking up at her before returning his eyes to mine.

He didn't seem to care much for her at the moment, but the memory of the way she touched him at the diner flooded in. My jaw clenched as she lowered herself to whisper something in his ear, softly enough that I didn't hear it. While still close to his face, she looked at me and smiled. Watching her walk away, I tried to hide the jealousy I felt. After all, I had no claim over him.

"So, you guys don't get along much, huh?" Avan said with a grin as he squeezed every last drip of ketchup from the packet.

"No, but that's just Amy." I took a packet of ketchup for myself. "Since you're a good-looking guy, she'll be your best friend. But for the rest of us, she's just a huge pain in the ass. Goes into a real simmer when I don't let her get to me, too." Oh my God, did I just admit that I think he's good looking?

I smiled at him and noticed the odd way he was looking at me.

"What?"

"What, what?" he repeated, shaking his head and smiling.

"Um, you were kinda staring."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just . . ."

I waited for him to continue, but he changed the subject instead. "So, are you coming to her party Friday?"

"Oh, no. Busy this weekend." It was a big, fat lie. I was never busy on the weekends, but I wasn't about to crash the party of my archenemy.

"That sucks. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about something other than gossip." He rolled his eyes.

I looked in the direction Amy had disappeared, wondering how bad it would be if I showed up. Amy and I had been really good friends all throughout middle school, but when freshmen year came around she never once spoke to me again—well, unless she had something snarky to say. It did make me a little uneasy that Avan would be going to her party, especially since there was sure to be alcohol and slutty attires. That two-faced sneak always got what she wanted.

Behind the iron gates, a figure moved. It was far away, but I saw the unmistakable green of his eyes. I gasped. It couldn't be! With a simple blink, he was gone. Hearing things, seeing things—what was the matter with me? He wasn't real, just a figment of my half-addled imagination. He was just a dream.

I lowered my gaze to my food. There was something going on, but what, exactly? I looked up at Avan and felt as if every fiber in me knew him. Something deep inside me recognized him. But what about the stranger with the green eyes? Something about him called to me.

You're ridiculous, I told myself.

When lunch was almost over he piled everything onto his tray, and I watched as he walked away. The way he moved with perfect ease, the way his skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, I found myself longing for him. My insides told me to get up and kiss him right on the mouth, to show him exactly how he made me feel. But, of course, that was insane. I was not one to take risks of that magnitude. Besides, what if he didn't return the feeling?

* * *

The days went by, and our lunches alone together got more frequent. Soon, Claire and Nate had to accept that Avan was becoming a part of the group whether they liked it or not. The next thing I knew, all four of us were hanging out after school; meeting at the local bookstore for history research, going on movie outings, the first double dates that I actually enjoyed, the game nights at home, and the occasional high school party.

Mike Johnson, one of the cutest guys in school, threw a party after the Brushwood Angels" football victory against the Pirates. Avan asked me to go with him, since his novelty and his charismatic personality seemed to make him friends with the whole school. It had been the first time I got asked to a party, especially by a boy, so I was onboard. But anytime we happened to see Amy, she shamelessly tried to find a way to bribe Avan away from my side. When that didn't work, she would throw herself all over him, shaking her skimpy outfits in front of him in a none-too-subtle attempt to seduce him.

I had grown tired of it, and to my relief so had Avan. From then on, we spent our weekends at the bowling alley or the coffee shop in town. As soon as Amy realized he was unattainable, she turned the heat on me. I was used to her ridiculously mean comments, but I still felt embarrassed when Avan heard them. I certainly didn't want him to think any less of me.

As the relationship between Avan and me kept growing stronger, so did my feelings for him. Two months had gone by, and I could not really explain how, but I felt my whole being becoming defined by his, as if my mind and body were finding a new purpose for existing. Was this how first love felt? I wasn't sure, but I knew for certain I was growing up, and fast.

The greatest confirmation of this change came during one of our few private outings to the movies without Claire and Nate chaperoning us. We were watching The Last Exorcism, which was totally scary and wonderfully romantic, too. I am the only one unaffected by scary movies, but this one's special effects had me continually burying my face in his shoulder. He didn't seem to mind—he even moved the armrest back and pulled me in closer. Feeling his body pressed so close to mine sent that strange energy cascading through me. The sensation was absolutely glorious.

I could feel his heart hammering as hard as mine. He seemed as nervous as I was. At this point, I was so aware of our bodies pressing together that the movie was merely background noise. It had been two months of flirting and holding hands. It was time for something more. I wanted something more. Just as I thought that, his shakily free hand pulled my chin up to face those eyes shining down at me. Something in that gaze never failed to take my breath away. He leaned down toward me, and I instinctively closed my eyes. I wasn't sure what to do, and so I momentarily held my place, but then my face rose to meet his.

The first kiss was short and tender, but the contact between our lips unleashed me. There had been no blinding light, but the same sense of shock rippled through me. He registered his awareness of my yearning, and I felt his body tense slightly. He paused, wanting to look into my eyes, and when he did, the invitation for more unleashed his passion, too. His warm lips moved again toward me. As if buried beneath the layers of each touch, each soft lick, each movement, speaking of what words couldn't, each new sensation brought new unspoken responses. We moved in unison. His mouth pulled in my lower lip, and as my jaw relaxed, I tasted the sweetness of his tongue.

Our lips parted, but we remained locked in the awareness of each other's breathing. Frozen time seemed to melt and flow once again. He faced me with a smile that began slowly on one side of his mouth and remained there. The kiss could have lasted forever. Hell, I wanted it to last forever, but I pretended to get interested in the movie again, however my mind was in a different dimension. The pervading warmth radiating from where our bodies touched was only getting stronger. The electric current between us was palpable. This couldn't be ignored any longer. There was literally a physical process happening between us. I had to talk to him, but for now I just wanted to enjoy his nearness—and, hopefully, a few more of those kisses.

The weekend went fast, and Monday rolled around. I woke up, excited that I would finally be seeing Avan again. My flirtatious mood had incited me to add purple highlights to my hair.

Since I seemed to be the only senior without a car, Avan had offered to take over the task of chauffeuring me to school whenever Claire didn't sleep over. When I heard him pull up in the driveway my heart missed a few beats. I hadn't seen him after our movie date and was nervous about how he would be today.

His engine idled a moment; then I heard the sound of the car door closing. I walked briskly over to the front door and held it open for him. As I took in the vision of him walking toward me, I was amazed to realize that he was interested in me. His crooked smile showed up the second he saw me standing there. He was wearing washed-out black jeans, a white long-sleeved T-shirt, and a black leather jacket. So . . . dangerous!

He was also wearing a loose beanie cap that let a few strands of dark hair peek out. When he reached me, he put his arm around my waist and pulled me in for a short but tender kiss. Just as on Friday night, I felt myself get lost in the sensation it brought. As corny as it sounds, whenever we were together, especially if we touched physically in any kind of way, sparks began to fly.

We walked toward the kitchen, where Mom was having her morning coffee, and I picked up my backpack.

"Good morning, Avan," she said politely.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lovecraft. How was your weekend?" He took the bar stool next to her.

Mom knew what he meant to me—after all, I had spent all weekend talking about pretty much nothing else. Luckily, since my parents had met him before, I had gotten their approval. Avan and Mom made small talk while I grabbed two orange juice bottles from the refrigerator, and a bagel from the breadbox. I gave Mom a kiss and led Avan outside.

He drove a sweet 1969 Mustang convertible. He said his mother had bought it off an old man in their neighborhood for pennies. I truly doubted that. The car was in mint condition. The paint was still shiny, and the white top was in perfect condition. The seats were white leather with red seams. And he kept a couple of Black Ice air fresheners under the seats, which made the car smell wonderful. As we were pulling out of the driveway I asked him about his weekend.

"It may not seem very manly to admit, but I was thinking about you all weekend."

Manly or not, I loved hearing that. "And what were you thinking about?" I asked as I cocked my head to the side.

He picked up my hand and kissed the back of it, and I felt myself start to blush. He stopped the car and pulled me closer to him. He leaned in, stopping just short of my lips.

"This . . ."

His warm breath merged with mine. He closed the space between us, and the whole world became the sweet taste of his kiss. It felt like the Fourth of July in my head. He sat back and focused on the road again.

"I've missed you, Jade."

My heart was doing back flips at this point. We drove in silence for a moment, my hand still in his. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to talk to him about what I felt every time we touched. I decided to tackle the issue right here and now. Cold sweat found its way to the palms of my hands and I let go of his.

"I have a question for you."

"Shoot," he said.

There was that crooked grin. I tried to sound calm. Though my insides were twisting, I had no idea how I would feel if he didn't understand what I was about to say.

He made a stop at the intersection and then turned left. One more block before we were at school.

"It's going to sound totally weird, but I just have to ask . . . Ever since the first time we met and our hands touched, well, it's as if, every time we touch, there's this current of energy that flows from you to me and back to you again. I was just wondering . . ."

I felt stupid hearing myself say this. He would think I was insane and never talk to me again, but the squeeze on my hand felt like an act of reassurance. I looked at him.

"You know, Jade, that's something I've been trying to figure out how to ask you, too," he said. "I think I know what you mean." He stole a quick look my way and gave me a look of understanding.

"I will admit that at first it was weird. I've never felt that before, but then it got more natural and started to feel like every time we touch, we become one. Somehow, were connected. It feels right now."

That was all it took to reassure myself of just how deeply in love I was with him. I stared at him for a moment, wanting to capture this feeling forever—just bottle it up and keep it with me always.

I spent the rest of the short drive to school telling him about my weekend and how we were going to decorate the house for Halloween, not making mention that it was also my birthday. He offered to come over and help, but I told him it was Mom's job. She never let anyone help with the decorations—not even me.

We parked in a space far from the school's main entrance, and hearing the first bell go off, we started running.

* * *

It was past seven on Thursday night when I remembered our biology exam the next day. Once everyone had gone home with their costumes in hand, I decided it was time to review. If there was one subject I didn't care much for, this was it. But for as long as I could remember, I already knew everything I was taught—things I had never heard about yet knew all the details to. I didn't need to study, but it was something I had grown accustomed to anyway. It has always worried me a little, the way things come to me with ease.

I sat at the desk with my blank index cards, a pen, and the thick, oppressively heavy biology textbook. When my eyes began to close I looked over at the clock on the nightstand near my bed. Time had flown by. It was almost midnight. I had studied enough for one session. I got ready for bed and went to close the curtains. As I was closing them, I noticed two strange green dots hovering in the darkness, out near the driveway. It took me a minute to realize what I had seen. Slowly opening the curtains again, I stared a little longer until my eyes adjusted to the dark, and then I saw it clearly. Sitting perfectly still and looking straight toward my window—and, seemingly, into my eyes—was a black panther.

Panthers come and go. We had seen them before, but never a black one, and never behaving this way. A strange fear crept into me, and the hair on the back of my neck rose. The creature wouldn't move. I wasn't afraid of it hurting me, since I was inside and there was no way it could get to me. The true fright came from how unnatural it looked, sitting there on a suburban front lawn.

An unpleasant surge, fanned by my fear, suddenly broke into my mind, and the familiar voice in my head warned me once again: " _The ki-sikil-lil-la-ke knows about you._ "

"Who?" I whispered.

" _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke."_

The voice made me tremble. "I don't know what that is."

" _You must prepare. She will come for you."_

The warnings were beginning to scare me. Especially since there had been many instances lately when I thought I felt a presence nearby, following me. The strangest feeling knotted in the pit of my stomach, as if something were terribly wrong. I kept expecting the warnings to come true, to see something horrible or hear very bad news. This was the first time I actually saw something strange, but a panther could not be what the warning was about . . . could it?

What could all this mean? Was someone after me? Or was I simply going crazy—losing my hold on reality? The voices started coming shortly before I met Avan. Were they about him? I didn't allow my thoughts to go any further with that bizarre idea. For once, I had something that meant something to me. Besides, the voice always spoke of a "she."

No, it had nothing to do with Avan. If that were the case, the voices would start yelling at me every time I was with him, but instead I had only felt a sense of tranquility and calm when I was around him. I kept my eyes away from the curtains and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling for some time until sleep won the battle.

Lilith

A hint of a new presence had been in the air lately. I have always been able to sense the slightest disturbance—any indication of another being like myself. I was suspicious of another power being unleashed. This could only bode ill. I assumed that the beacon came from an enemy.

The hunt had begun, and as with all my schemes, I would use the utmost secrecy and care. I had to know the nature and intent of this unknown creature. Following the scent, I came nearer and nearer until I found the source.

I had planned to send a spy ahead. The panther was pure happenstance—it happened to be nearby when I needed something to control. A bear or red wolf would have suited just as well. I ordered it to prowl around the house for a few days, and eventually it brought back mental images of the family. A dark-haired girl lived there. Something more lay within than appeared on the surface. Her eyes were a clear giveaway. Maybe not to an unthinking mortal, but for us it was unquestionable. Time was all I needed.

In fact, the mysteries deepened, and the peril I found myself in was worse than I could have imagined. There, in the unreasoning animal mind of the panther, I also found a memory of two faces I knew well: one set of gray eyes, of the doubled and mirrored, of a pair always together, golden haired and divine—an enemy to be feared. These were not the sources of the unbridled beacon, though. These two knew how to control their true nature.

While the panther gathered the information needed, I plotted. All possible means of having a direct encounter with the girl were too risky. The gray-eyed menace seemed to be always present, and even when not visibly around, it was still too dangerous for me to gamble on its staying away and not returning at an inopportune moment.

One day, a change of events led to an opening, a chance for me to act. The girl was given a conveyance to use, and left for school on her own for the very first time. The greatest chance to succeed in confronting her was for her to return alone later. The decision was made. The only people around were her mother and father: the perfect bait.

During midday of the girl's birthday, with an unrestrained power and an intent that I alone could have given it, the panther broke through the unlocked French doors into the living room, where it scattered Halloween decorations about. I remained hidden in the trees while the animal did as it was commanded to.

I entered and walked across the room, neither giving a second glance to the carnage below nor caring. I knelt and stroked the sleeping cat. And there I stayed until she came home.

My dad's deep voice reached into my dreams. "Good morning, princess!" he said, stroking the hair out of my face and kissing my forehead.

"Thanks, Dad." My morning voice sounded thin and a little gravelly, but remembering it was my birthday made me jump up in bed. As I staggered onto my feet I gave him a tight hug, letting myself get lost in his scent of Axe deodorant and aftershave. I looked up at him. "How come you're not at work?"

"It's my little girl's birthday—how could I miss that? Come on, kiddo, get dressed and come downstairs—breakfast is ready," he said as he walked out of my room.

"I love you, Dad!" I called after him.

Mom had bought me some new outfits a couple of days ago, but I couldn't touch anything until today. I slipped into the new Ramones white shirt with the black long sleeves, the new jeans, and black boots. Then I gave the front of my hair some loose curls, adding some volume so it wouldn't just hang lank, and went downstairs.

Mom was at the stove, flipping pancakes. The smell of bacon made my stomach growl like a hungry house cat. For as long as I could remember, this had been my "birthday breakfast of champions." I wrapped my arm around Mom's shoulders and gave her a kiss, then headed for my stool at the island, next to Dad.

"Happy birthday, honey," she said, greeting me out of the corner of her eye. "I see you couldn't keep your hands off your new clothes."

"Hah!" I said. "It was torture not getting to wear them before now!"

Minutes after she brought us our breakfast, I had inhaled mine. Taking the plate to the sink, I looked over at the clock that hung above the refrigerator. "Claire was supposed to pick me up . . ."

"Oh, she called earlier," Mom said. "Something came up and she can't make it. But anyway, your dad and I've been talking, and . . ." She had that crooked grin that made her look like a kid herself. "You can have Dad's pickup truck."

I gaped at them both in disbelief. "You're really giving me the truck?" I squealed. "It's mine?"

Dad held up his hands and said, "It's old, and we figured, how much damage could you do?" He paused, grinning. "Maybe I'd better reword that—forgot who I was talking to." He was attached to that old beater. He had taken Mom on their first date in it, way back when you could tell what color it was. But he needn't worry—I would treat it like a family heirloom.

I rushed outside and rolled down the windows. I shouldn't be this excited about a three-block drive, but it was pretty cool. With the windows down, I let the rock-and-roll station blast, driving slowly because I didn't want to get there too quickly. Hallelujah—I wasn't Miss Daisy anymore!

Avan was waiting next to his car, motioning for me to take the empty space he seemed to have been saving for me. Once I shut off the engine, he walked around and waited for me to get out. His smoldering blue eyes were making me weak as his fingertips on the small of my back pulled me closer to him. The moment our bodies touched, I felt that inexplicable current of energy. He moved his free hand onto my cheek and kissed me. It was the subtlest kiss I ever experienced, but with a triple charge of passion.

"Happy birthday, babe," he said, low enough that only I could hear him.

"Thanks," I said, a little out of breath. Avan put his arm around my shoulders as we walked toward the school doors. This was already a promising day!

* * *

As I approached my locker I heard Claire and Nate shout in unison, "Happy birthday!" Scattered students turned toward the commotion, and I hurried forward. They had really gone all out. Balloons in all sizes and colors floated in front of my battered locker door, making it nearly impossible to get my combination right.

"Thanks, you guys," I said. I pulled them in for a tight hug. I loved my best friends. "You didn't need to make such a big fuss about it, though." I indicated all the eyes still looking at us. I tried opening the locker again, and this time the steel door creaked open.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot—Jade doesn't want anyone noticing she exists!" Claire joked, leaning against her locker. "Watch out—someone may want to talk to you." She opened her book bag and pulled out a black bag and handed it to me. "Happy birthday, dork."

"You really didn't need—Oh, my God, MAC makeup?" I shrieked as I looked inside. "You are awesome. I cannot believe it!"

And I really couldn't. The bag was seriously packed with eye shadows and eyeliners in every color—powders and mascara enough for the whole cheerleading squad, and brushes for every technique available.

"This is too much, Claire." I lowered my voice.

"It's nothing," she said, waving me off. "This way you can do your whole corpse bride makeup for tonight."

Tonight. My birthday party. My birthday had been declared October 31, the day Mom found me wandering in the woods behind the house. I must have been about five years old and had no recollection why I was there or where I had come from. It was as if all memories had been wiped from my head. The only thing certain was my name: Jade.

After I had spent most of the night at the Hollow Falls Police Department, they had at last endured enough of Mom's pleading and let her take me home so I could rest. Days passed, then weeks, but nobody ever came to claim me. No local, county, or statewide search turned up any clue to where I may have come from. Eventually, months went by, with dozens of visits from the Children and Family Services Department, and still no one claimed me. I say it as if I were some kind of lost package, and in a way, I was.

So in commemoration, every year I got to throw a birthday Halloween bash, which meant loads of makeup, crazy costumes, and even crazier decorations. If there was one thing Mom could do, it was to throw a wicked party.

I had spent the past few days looking for the needed decorations. Each new item gave Mom a new idea of what we would do in the house. There were a few tombstones for the front lawn, and some creepy-looking low picket fences to be set up as if marking a cemetery. We got orange pumpkin lights and a fog machine to make the house look eerie. A few fake body parts would be spread throughout the house, mainly around the table and next to the food. A big Grim Reaper, complete with threadbare robe and rusted scythe, would be set up in a corner of the living room. I couldn't wait to see it all decked out.

"Did you get your costumes already?" I asked Nate and Claire as I shoved my amazing present into the narrow locker.

"Yeah, we got them last night. I had to make a few arrangements, but they're ready for tonight. Ah!" she squealed. "I'm so excited!"

Avan and I had decided to be the characters of one of our favorite movies, The Nightmare before Christmas. He was Jack; I was Sally.

The rest of the day went by without mishaps. In fact, a lot more people I had anticipated approached me to tell me how excited they were about the party. Everyone knew my Mom"s amazing party skills.

I didn't want to go home right away after school, and so I drove around for a while. The windows down and the cool air making my hair flutter all over my head. It was when I came to the corner of Mills Boulevard and Richmond Road that I saw him, the boy from my dreams. He entered a dark alley behind the McDonald's. It couldn't be, he wasn't real just a figment of my imagination.

I drove by slowly, looking deep into the alley, but he wasn't there. Only the large garbage bins against the buildings. Why did this keep happening? I sighed and decided to forget all about it. I would go home and start getting ready for tonight. My nerves lessened only a little bit as excitement overcame me.

* * *

I grabbed the makeup bag from the front seat and fumbled in my purse for my keys. With them in hand, I walked up the four steps to the wraparound porch and unlocked the door. Mom must be running behind, because there were no decorations outside. Still looking down at my purse, I closed the door behind me. Then I looked up and gasped.

Mom had really done a fantastic job decorating inside. All the pumpkin lights were strung up around the threshold, and the Grim Reaper's robe was billowing in the breeze from a small fan underneath. That must have been Dad's idea—he was always clever that way. The snack table was set up with all the fake body parts and food made to look like guts and slimy things. I was a bit surprised that it was so quiet, though—they were probably waiting somewhere to jump out and scare me. They always got into a festive mood for my Halloween birthday party.

Then, amid the orange crepe paper decorations in the far corners of the living room, I noticed something strange. By the fireplace, standing stock-still, was a red-haired woman with a black panther beside her. My stomach made a back flip at the sight of the animal. It did look just like the one I had seen below my window.

I shook off the feeling that took over me. Mom must have hired entertainment, I thought. A smile started to form on my lips. How cool! I took a few steps forward, my eyes on the panther. It wasn't on a leash, which I thought strange—even maybe a little dangerous.

The woman looked at me without saying a word, as if studying my every move. I looked around to see horrible red stains all over the walls and furniture. Just as quickly as I had noticed the stains, my heart sank to the bottom of the deepest sea.

I finally realized why it was so quiet.

Dad was lying on the couch, his clothes soaked in blood. His neck was torn apart. Was this a costume? It looked too real. My breathing started to fail me, and my head started to spin. Then I noticed Mom, crumpled face down on the floor, also bloodied. She was not in a natural position.

I couldn't speak. My knees went numb, and the tears blinded me.

It couldn't be . . . My parents were... dead.

How? Why?

I felt my heart and mind shatter. I looked through my tears at the woman and let out a little moan. She looked at me with the most unnatural I smile I had ever seen. I took a step forward, ready to rip her to shreds.

Her finger tapped the panther, and in response it bared its teeth and moved toward me. It had been crouched about twenty feet away, but it was across the room in an instant, close enough for me to reach out and touch, its long, yellowed canine teeth bared.

Was I going to die, too?

The question came to me clear as day. All my numbness and horror vanished, replaced in that instant by a desire to escape, to survive. I bolted toward the kitchen and slammed through the back screen door. I heard it break off its hinges. I could hear the panthers claws scrape wood as it followed me across the back deck. I jumped clear of the steps and fell on my landing. Frantic, I rolled up to my feet and sprinted to the edge of the woods.

And there I stopped. Everything I had just witnessed filled my mind to the brim. There was no way to withstand it, and I began screaming. The scream turned into a wail like the siren on a fire engine. The panther came to an abrupt halt in front of me, and just as suddenly, I saw the woman appear beside it. The wailing sound I was making grew louder and louder. I didn't even draw in a breath—just somehow continued to bellow in unfettered rage and anguish. My ears were hurting, and I felt as if my whole body were on fire. But my back felt as if it was being pricked by thorns.

At that point, everything began to feel like a dream. Perhaps I imagined it, but from the forest, a flock of ravens appeared in a great cloud—thousands of birds. They swooped down around me and attacked the panther. Bird after bird hit with such force that each impact made a loud thud. A few birds fell dead, their necks broken from the force of their attack. The panther leaped and swatted a few times before fleeing, defeated by the birds" vicious assault.

The woman looked at me. Her face was horrifying. There was something in her deep obsidian eyes that made me feel as if she was here for nothing else but to kill me.

" _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke,_ " came the voice in my head.

The woman was pale with rage.

" _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke_ ," it called again with greater urgency.

Looking at the woman, I was frozen. Somehow, I knew that she wanted me dead, and I knew I needed to run. But I couldn't.

She took a step forward, and all hesitation vanished. I moved through the forest with a single-minded fury that left me without another thought. I could sense the woman behind me. Everything was moving past so quickly, I could barely see where I was going. I could hardly catch my breath, and my clothes felt tight. The collar of my shirt constricted my neck.

After running headlong for what felt like an eternity, I came to the dirt trail leading to the forest's outer edge. I knew that just beyond it was the cliff. This was a dead end. I had run in the wrong direction.

Hearing the rapid footfalls of the woman running behind me, I ran a few steps more, then stopped right at the edge of the cliff. In an instant of terror, the most tremendous pain I had ever felt in my life came over me. It was as if someone had shot a bullet into my right shoulder. I lost my balance and fell over the edge.

The woman's eyes looked down at me in surprise. She raised her hand, and in it was something small and white. All around me the darkness pulled at me, and I grew lost in it.

****

"Jade? Jade, are you all right?" I opened my eyes, and even with my blurry vision I could distinguish Claire's face. "Nate, call nine one one." She slipped her hands underneath me, and with incredible strength I didn't think plausible she picked me up, and carried me into the warmth of her house.

I heard the door crack open, allowing a narrow shaft of light in behind it. Claire silently made her way over to the bed and knelt on the floor. I could feel her gaze on me. She hovered a few moments, probably making sure I was still breathing. I didn't know how long I had been lying in this bed in the dark, and thinking about it only made me breathe in shorter gasps. Her warm, soft hand found my shoulder.

"We're right outside if you need us," she whispered, tenderly kissing my forehead before moving away and leaving the room.

I wasn't ready.

I closed my eyes and let the tears roll once again. Claire's explanation of what had happened—how my parents had been killed by an animal—came back into my mind. The pain grew, enveloping me, stabbing me like a thousand daggers. But my sorrow, instead of bleeding out, grew inside me.

The sobs came louder each time. No matter how much I tried to muffle them, they kept coming louder and louder. I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself down. I screamed into my pillow, wondering if she would come in and check on me once again, and threw a few halfhearted punches into the mattress. I couldn't bear the thought of opening my eyes just yet. Couldn't face the reality of what my life had become.

I was left all alone in the world. My life had been ripped right out of my hands, with no way of turning back the time. I could not face the fact that I would never see them again, feel their arms around me, or even hear their voices calling my name. How was I supposed to keep going?

Once I had let out some of the pain I rolled onto my side, pulled my knees up, and wrapped my arms around them. The pain was unbearable, paralyzing. This was all I amounted to: a broken heart, a broken soul. I felt my own essence dissipating and drifting further and further away. I kept my arms around my body, trying to hold myself together. The darkness that hung in the room had somehow sucked the remaining life out of me.

Would it ever stop? Would it ever get better?

It wouldn't. This much I knew.

I don't know how long I cried before I drifted into a light sleep in which I was not awake, yet still conscious of my surroundings. All I heard was the TV in Claire's living room. It was just a slight humming in the background but always there, keeping me company. Claire came in periodically, leaving a tray of food that sat untouched until she came back to pick it up and replace it with a fresh one.

The doorknob twisted, and I hugged the pillow. I waited for the door to open, for someone to come in, but instead the knob went back to its normal position. "She's sleeping," I heard Claire say.

"I need to see her."

It was his voice. It did something to me, temporarily lifting the darkness that had fallen over me. "I have to be with her."

"I know that, but she isn't ready," Claire said. "Not yet." There was silence, and I wanted to scream for him to come in, to hold me in his arms and never let me go. I had fallen into a monotonic numbness and despair and needed to feel something.

"Just tell her I was here. If she wants me, I'll come anytime."

* * *

Again I woke up. I gradually sat up in the bed and leaned against the wall. Its coldness sent shivers through my body, cooling and awakening me. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness that enveloped the room. It was nothing like the darkness that pervaded me inside. My eyes finally attuned to the night, and I saw the half-open door leading to the small guest bathroom. I needed to get up. I had been in this bed, wearing this same nightgown, for who knew how long.

My big camo duffel bag was on the floor near the sliding closet doors, which, I assumed, would be filled with some of my clothes. I let my mind wander within these four walls, but it wouldn't be long before, of its own accord, it began wandering to darker memories.

I pushed forward and set my feet on the cold floor. Wobbling a little until I regained my balance, I took the few steps to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my dim reflection in the dark. I turned the water on and washed the dry tears off my cheeks. Luckily, my best friend was on top of everything and had already unpacked my toiletries.

A quick search of the room didn't turn up my cell phone. Quietly, I opened the door to the hallway that connected every room in the house. I turned right and headed for the kitchen, hoping that a snack would make me feel better as I looked for my phone.

The big wooden bowl on the counter was filled with pears and apples and tangerines. I looked around for something sweeter but came up empty. I picked up a banana, and as I peeled it I found my brown leather purse on the opposite side of the counter. I turned the microwave night light on and, under its weak light, unzipped my purse. My wallet, keys, and watch were all accounted for, and after further patting down, I felt the phone in the small pocket in the back. I took it out and pressed the main button, prompting a picture of Mom, Dad, and me lounging on the deck at home.

My vision grew blurry as the tears gathered in my eyes. I unlocked the phone and looked at the date: November 4. I went through the eighteen missed calls: some from kids at school, others, more recently, from good friends of Mom and Dad, most likely giving their condolences. I deleted all voice mails without listening to them. The sobs came naturally. With the phone clutched to my chest, I headed back to bed.

I let myself have a good but silent cry and promised myself I would get out of bed when morning came. But my strength dissipated, and my mind, let loose, busied itself with memories of happier days, interspersed with glimpsed images of their lifeless bodies. I closed my eyes tighter, hoping I could unplug whatever was creating the images. But it was no use. With that last picture in my mind, I once again fell asleep.

This time, my subconscious terror kept bringing its own set of images for me, stealing away the peace of my dreams.

I was walking on a field of lavender flowers, caressing my knees as I walked through it. Its sweet aromatic fragrance evoked a feeling of calm and tranquility. The sky was a pure, vibrant blue, and the sun shone bright without a cloud in sight. I could hear the chirping of finches and robins, though I didn't see them. The distance was filled with green mountain pastures, with a tree here and there creating some shade. In the foreground, a woman stood gazing at her reflection in a pond. Her long hair swayed in the playful breeze. As I got closer to take a better look, I could see snakes all around her; slithering up her legs and entwining themselves around her body. My stomach felt heavy. The air grew colder, and the images in front of me disturbed me greatly.

"Gross," I mumbled to myself. On the other side of the pond, a light shone bright and came down from the heavens. Touching the ground, it revealed itself as Claire. My instinct would have been to run to her, but something inside me told me to stay where I was. Hidden. It wasn't safe out there, and whatever was about to happen, I would want to see. The woman with the serpents around her spoke first. Her voice was serene.

"You will not be able to save her, just as you could not save your mate." She paused a moment and then continued. "Shemer, wasn't it?"

Even from afar, I could see Claire's eyes squint as she made fists with her hands. "I don't see anyone that needs saving other than you," she said, and she started to make her way around the pond, toward the other woman. "I suggest you leave now, Lilith, before things end badly for you."

The serpents disappeared, and now a panther stood in their place.

"Really?" Claire said, and laughed. "Is that supposed to scare me? Do you forget who I am?" Her laughter echoed all around me.

The woman didn't say a word, just patted the fierce cat, which nagged at a memory I could not quite place. Where had I seen this before?

"Come on, Lilith. If you're going to fight, then fight!" Claire's voice roared.

"You have been socializing on the mortal plane far too long, cherub. I wonder if you even remember how to fight."

And just as she said that, the panther sprang at Claire with bewildering speed. Only it wasn't my Claire anymore. In an eye blink, wings emerged from behind her, and suddenly, she was a lion. The panther kept coming at her, but it was no match for her. As it grew closer, Claire in lion form rose on its hind legs and jumped onto the panther with its huge, taloned front paws. The panther went down, and Claire the lion went for its throat. The panther gave a muffled yowl, kicked, and fell still.

Claire became herself again, though her wings remained. "Still up for it, Lilith?" she said.

And just like that, Lilith was gone, swallowed in the air.

I started toward her, but before she could see me she flapped her long wings and rose back up into the sky. I walked to the pond, looking around for any sign of anyone at all, and then I saw it. In the pond, under the water, I could see myself, sleeping. Or, if I could be so lucky, maybe I was dead.

I wandered about, and my surroundings changed once again. This time I found myself in a lonely cemetery.

Dark and leaning gravestones cast shadows that seemed to move and follow me.

I found him by the big banyan tree, resting against its trunk. I was alone with him in a cemetery, with shadows that danced on their own, moving as if taunting me. I stared at him for a good while. He didn't seem to notice that I was there.

"Who are you?" I tried to sound tough but failed miserably. My voice creaked, and I looked at my feet to hide my reddening face.

"Someone to steer you away from trouble," he whispered as he closed the space between us. I looked up at him. Seeing his face clearly for the very first time, his mouth just inches away from mine, I immediately forgot how to breathe. I just stared at his tender, full lips, wondering what they would feel like on mine. He chuckled and backed away from me, finally letting me remember to breathe. I examined the rest of his face. His features were soft and his skin pale. He was utterly gorgeous. His green eyes glistened as he looked at me.

"Why am I in trouble?" I hated that he had moved away, for I felt as if my whole being was seeking him, longing for him to draw closer again.

"There are some people whom it is better to stay away from," he said, his face turning grim, and he looked away.

"I'm sorry, but this is a dream—"

"You really think so?" Within the blink of an eye, he was beside me again. He took my hand, and I reveled in every second of his touch. "You do remember me, don't you?" His hand slid onto my cheeks, lifting my face to his.

I nodded. "You have been in my dreams before." I couldn't tear my eyes from his. It felt as if he held me at his will.

"It is no dream," he said. "It's a different dimension—another realm, if you wish."

Okay, pretty boy has lost it. I knew this dream was too good to be true. I pulled my arm away, even though I didn't want to. I wanted to feel his touch, the electricity that he radiated when he was near. I turned around to look at him, but to my dismay, he was gone. I tried to find my way out of the cemetery but finally gave up, willing myself to wake up from this now miserable dream.

* * *

The knocking on the door pulled me out of the strange dream. As symbolic as it had been, it had seemed thoroughly real. And as for Lilith, she seemed so familiar. I kept searching through my mind and memories for just where I knew the woman from, but once again Claire pulled me back to real life. I sighed at the memory of the stranger and the way he had made me feel.

"Jade?" Claire called from behind the door. "It's time to start getting ready. Is there anything special you'd like for breakfast?"

Ooh, right. The funeral. "No."

I pulled the covers over my head. I needed it all to be over. I had to get through today, and then it would be done. Life as I knew it—gone.

"We need to leave in an hour and a half, hon," Claire said before I heard her walk away.

What had I ever done to deserve such an amazing friend as she, I had no clue, but I was infinitely thankful. I could not have dealt with everything that the tragedy brought. She had written and sent the invitations for the wake and funeral to Mom and Dad's friends, colleagues, some far-flung family members we hadn't talked to in a while, and some kids from school. She had also hired a caterer, hired some professionals to clean the house, and bought me a brand-new black dress. It was a lot for any teenager to pull off, but she did it.

I didn't want to get up, especially when that meant saying good-bye to the two people who meant the world to me. I wished I could lie here forever and just let the darkness that danced around me engulf me and take me away. I could already feel it growing inside me, deep in my core. All the things that once made me happy, made me human, were distant memories. My life was now ripped apart.

I got up and stumbled to the small bathroom. I opened the sliding shower door and turned the water on. After playing with the handles for a bit, I got the temperature just right and slid out of my ill-smelling clothes. Once the water started to turn cold, I dried off and went to the duffel bag. Claire knew me well. All my favorite clothes were here. Eventually, a time would come when I would feel normal again. (Or would I?) I dug deep into the bag until I felt my worn-out black Converse high-tops and pulled them out. This, along with the dress, was my mourning attire, a front-row view into my inner depths. It had been five days since "the accident," and the darkness grew each day with the numbing feeling that accompanied it.

I walked out to the kitchen, where the brightness of the outside world blinded me. I had cocooned myself in the darkness in Nate's spare bedroom for long enough. Sitting down at the small table, I hid my face in my hands. Claire glanced my way and quickly handed me my black Ray-Ban Wayfarers. With my eyes still closed, I slid them on.

"Thanks." I mumbled under my breath.

I could now see Claire standing next to the stove, her back toward me. Her bright pink pajama top, which I once would have loved, made me want to vomit. It was just too bright, too happy, for my mood right now. Moving about with her usual grace, she worked on what smelled like pancakes. Nate's kitchen was small but homey, with cherry cabinets and white marble countertops. A white microwave hung from the cabinet above the white stove they never used. I had been here only a few times and had yet to meet Nate's parents. They were always off on a business trip or long vacation somewhere halfway around the world. I had always felt bad for Nate because he was always alone. Now I was just like him, except that my parents were never coming back.

Without turning again to look at me, Claire started her usual chatter, this time about what was happening at school. I hadn't taken the time to realize that while I had been holing up in the guest bedroom, life kept rolling right along for everyone else.

"Are you okay?" Her voice was soft and all too motherly. I lifted my gaze from my hands, where I had been picking at my chipped nail polish, to her face, and saw her expression of concern switch to one of your parents just died; of course you're not okay. I dismissed the question with a faint nod. She mumbled something unintelligible and then walked over with a plate full of all my favorite things: pancakes, bacon, biscuits, and a tall glass of orange juice with three ice cubes. I was automatically reminded of my birthday morning, when Mom made us my special breakfast. Not wiping away the solitary tear that rolled down my cheek, I felt the cooling trace of its passage.

"I'm sorry, Jade." She sat down beside me and slid her arm over my shoulders, making our temples touch lightly. "Just know that I understand, and, well . . ." She was silent for a moment. ". . . I've been there myself. You don't have to hold back around me, or even Nate. You know that, right?" She searched my face, though I doubt she could have seen much through the dark lenses. I nodded and closed my eyes, and the next stream of tears spilled down.

I tried not to let myself sink into the same old dark thoughts and even darker memories, instead wondering whom she had lost. She had never spoken of her parents or any other family member. Had she been given up for adoption? Had she, too, lost her parents in some horrible way? Then the dream came back, and I heard Lilith repeat, "You will not be able to save her, just as you could not save your mate—Shemer, was it?" Mate? And who the hell was Shemer?

Relax, Jade, I told myself. It was nothing but a stupid dream.

Claire sat in silence with me while I ate. Although my stomach kept making rumbling noises, it didn't allow much in. Nate called her from the bedroom to help him with his tie. I sank low in the chair and wished the day's events were over already.

Lilith

The killing was a provocation meant to produce another signal from her. If and when this dark-haired girl saw what was meant for her eyes to see, then I would know for certain what powers she possessed. The risk was great, but the need to know greater.

She had arrived alone. I noticed her parking the truck. If anyone else had come, it would have been easy enough to disappear unseen. I held my ground and woke the sleeping cat. The girl walked in, not noticing me at first, just as mortals often do, stupidly refusing to accept the presence of the inexplicable. When she finally met my eyes directly, her reaction was peculiar. She stood silently, confused at seeing a stranger in her house, but a smile began to form in the corners of her mouth. I loved when the smile suddenly melted into a mask of terror—though I must admit, it was a horrible expression to witness on a human face. She was overcome by shock as she struggled to understand the scene before her eyes. This caused a surge of pleasure in me, of course. I sent the cat forward, not to kill but to frighten. It was time to see if my suspicions were correct. As I had expected, she fled with an agility and power unusual in a human.

This simple chase had been enough to bring out the evidence I needed. Apparently, this girl, showing physical abilities far beyond the norm, had also shown that she was a summoner of animals. Some of the joy of the hunt faded when my beautiful panther was defeated, but I was still impressed by her show of power. It would be a wonderful thing to possess once I killed her.

The girl manifested her real nature. During the chase, I discovered more than I had expected. Her powers were not under her control, which was unusual. In her attempt to escape, her wings had begun to sprout. This is as dangerous for an angel on earth to do as it is for a human to get in a car with a stranger.

I had been running behind her the entire way toward the cliff, but she proved faster and more agile than I. Had she not stopped at the cliff's edge, I would never have caught up to her and seen what amazed me the most—and what has, since then, become my topmost priority in seeing again. Right where the wings were pressing hardest beneath her clothes, the shirt had begun to tear. And to my sheer amazement, the feathers that appeared were white.

Not only were there wings, but they were white! It fairly staggered the mind. She was a pure angel on earth, not a fallen one. Moments before she fell over the cliff's edge, I managed to reach out and pluck from her shoulder a single divine feather.

I looked over the precipice, hoping to see her broken body dashed on the stones near the river, but saw nothing. There was absolutely no trace of her. She was gone. Normally, this would have set me back severely, but I had in my possession her feather, a part of her divine being. This was the greatest tool I could hope to get my hands on, for I could extract from it the saved memories of her corporeal life. I was going to learn, after all, everything I needed to know.

Divinity distilled from pure white feathers is primal—not shared—knowledge, and the darkest, cruelest, most ancient entities consider it mere legend. Even where I come from, some things are too obscured by evil to be commonly understood. I am the only being to succeed in creating what is known to my kind as a demi gourd.

The demi gourd is a living vessel into whose being the influence and memories of an angel are infused or combined. A demi gourd can be any living creature, though its level of intelligence determines how effective it will be in receiving and transmitting information. The closer and longer the contact between a celestial or dark being and that creature, the stronger the bond or connection between them, raising the demi-gourd's status and ability.

"Demon possession" occurs when a dark entity has been around a weakened mind long enough to begin exercising an influence on that creature. Higher-level demi gourds are not only more intelligent, equaling even humans; they also have had a different, more intense contact with either a celestial or a dark being. This gives them near-angelic powers and immortality. When the fallen ones came to earth looking for humans to mate with, they never considered that those humans would eventually perish.

I placed the feather in a small bowl.

So far, demi gourds produced by contact with whole, conscious celestial or dark beings have been exceedingly rare. Those humans who were able to escape became the witches, shamans, and mystic priests of all the old religions and myths.

A fragment or relic works much the same, though it is not easily to be found on earth, because an angel or demon would necessarily have to expose itself—which typically happens only during battle—by showing its wings, horns, or other nonhuman appendages. It is not every day that these things are shown in plain sight, and rarer still that a fragment can be found or taken.

I had managed to pluck a feather directly from Jade. I did not yet understand how a pure angel was living on earth, with the connection to heaven still intact. And why was such a powerful creature so poor in defending itself?

It was time to begin a new search, but I had at my disposal very good information. I was not blindly seeking some intuitive hint of an unknown entity. In fact, now I was not facing an enemy at all, but hunting prey beyond my wildest desires. Her wings were what I needed to take from her. Now I could better plan my next step. I have at my fingertips the most precious prize. I have in my grasp the chance to destroy a pure angel and create, for the first time in a millennium, an actual gourd.

There was no denying the overwhelming disappointment I felt upon waking. I was alive. The rustling of papers close by made me conscious that I was not alone. I tried to move, to get up, but it was impossible. My body ached all over. My eyes felt heavy. I opened them, and everything was a blurred mix of colors. My heart started beating faster. Why couldn't I move? Where was I? The rustling stopped, and I heard footsteps closing in on me. A dark shadow came to stand beside me.

"Ah, you are awake. How are you feeling?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but it was dry, and a stabbing pain in the back of my throat made me wince. A faint breeze followed him as he moved away.

"Here, drink this." He slid his warm hand under the back of my neck and cautiously lifted me up. My body trembled at his touch. The cold rim of a glass found my lips, but I moved my head away. The "never take candy from strangers" rule surely applied here.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you, Jade. I promise."

How did he know my name? I blinked a few times, trying to rid my eyes of the cloudy haze. The rim of the glass was again at my lips. This time I allowed the liquid in. It was bitter and warm, like nothing I had ever tasted before. Soon the burning subsided, and my sight cleared.

His face hovered over mine, only inches away, and I gasped. It couldn't be. There was no way.

For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me, and I was surprised to find that part of me hoped he would. He smiled as he retreated into a far corner of the room.

I stared at him, wondering whether it was all a dream. Perhaps my wish had come true and I was dead. He could not be here, not in the real world.

"Who are you?" my voice sounded hoarse. I looked away, embarrassed, and quietly cleared my throat. Lit candles filled the room with the scent of vanilla. "Where am I?" I kept taking my surroundings in. I was lying in a full-size bed with silky red sheets over me. I blushed at the thought of my being in his bed.

By the bed were two nightstands without lamps—only candles lit the large room. Under some of the candles lay some old books in terrible condition, with pages spilling out of them. They looked hundreds of years old. I couldn't understand why anyone would keep them so poorly. To my right was a large window covered with almost translucent white curtains and, over these, two thick red drapes that almost matched the sheets. They were shut, and no light entered from behind them. It was night, I supposed. An old-fashioned desk stood in front of the bed, with a large hutch on top where papers were taped and pinned. More candles flickered on the desk.

I looked back at him as he fumbled with something inside the closet.

"Hello?" I said in a loud voice, waving my hands in the air. Was he deaf?

He turned around and walked toward the bed. He was tall—I guessed him to be at least six feet three. His dark hair fell almost to his eyes. He seemed even more beautiful in this world than he had in my dream. Then he had been a mere imagining, but here, in front of me, he seemed more glorious than anything I could envision. He had a glow about him that made me feel at peace.

"Here's a change of clothes," he said. "You can use the bathroom out in the hall to change." He pointed out toward the open door and into a dark corridor. "Second door on the left. I've left you towels if you want to freshen up." His eyes searched my face.

"Mind telling me where I am, first?" I said. "I don't know you. I don't know where I am or how I got here."

I sat up on the bed and looked down at myself with a sudden sense of panic. I was no longer in my black mourning dress; instead, I wore an oversize T-shirt that must be his, and sweatpants.

He caught my bewilderment and cleared his throat. "Why don't you freshen up first, and then I will answer all your questions." He looked down at his feet and stepped back so I could walk to the door.

My usual self would have protested, demanding answers to my questions at once. But just as he had done in my dreams, he had a way of soothing me. I looked at the open door and back at him. A shower would be nice. After all, I had no idea how long I had been here.

Grabbing the pile of clothes he had laid next to me on the bed, I got up. The room began to spin, and I felt myself reeling, going down. I tried to hold on to the bed but missed it. His arms found my waist, steadying me. The electricity that flowed between us weakened me. I was exhausted and not sure I would make it to the bathroom on my own. As if he had read my thoughts, he pulled me forward and led me out of the room and into the warm, dark hallway. Once in the bathroom, he turned on the light and laid the clothes on a white wooden chair next to the shower. I held on to the sink and lowered myself onto the closed toilet lid. My hand shielded my eyes from the bright light.

"What's your name?" I asked without even looking up, my elbows resting on my knees, and my face buried in my hands.

"Blake."

"Got a last name, Blake?" Just looking up at him too what little energy I had.

"No last name. Just Blake." He smiled wearily and then retreated into the hallway as he closed the door behind him.

"Just Blake," I muttered to myself.

The shower made me feel like a person again, stronger and much rejuvenated. I made a mental note to ask Blake just how long I had been out. I picked up the clothes he had given me, and put them on, blushing at the sight of the black bra and panties. What possible reason could he have for keeping such things in his closet. A girlfriend, maybe? Jealousy coursed through me, and I felt childish. I bet she is very pretty. What are you doing? I asked myself. You have a boyfriend, remember?

Once I was dressed I grunted at the reflection in the mirror and stormed out of the bathroom. Blake was sitting by the desk, piling some loose papers on one side. I leaned into the doorway and looked at the room again.

"Feel better?" he asked without taking his eyes off the papers.

"Yes, thank you." I smiled—a wasted effort since he wasn't looking at me. I walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Is now a good time for you to answer my questions?"

I saw his shoulders tense, and then he spun around on his chair, smiling at me. "Sure. What is it you want to know?"

"Where am I? How did I get here? Who are you, "just Blake"? What happened?" The words tumbled out.

"Okay, then. Well, you are in my house. I brought you here. I am just Blake, and you should tell me what happened."

I stared at him. Was this the best he could do? "What do you mean, I should tell you? You're the one who brought me here."

"What were you doing at the cemetery?" His eyes seemed to flash brighter, but only for a second.

"I—it was my parents" funeral." It took whatever strength was left in me not to burst into tears in front of him.

"And then . . . ?" His eyes were now traveling down to my clenched fist.

"And then is none of your damn business." What had happened to me? Last thing I remembered was kneeling at the grave. My hand found the back of my head, there was a bump that still was tender. I stood up and stormed out of his room, fed up with his condescending tone.

The hallway was still dark, so I took a chance and turned right. I walked past the bathroom and another closed door but came to a halt when there was nothing but a wall in front of me. I stomped my way back past him as he leaned on his bedroom door with a smile on his face. I finally found the stairs and hit each step with a loud thud to emphasize just how annoyed I was at him. When I finally reached the front door I noticed there was no lock, no knob, no way of opening it. I pushed on it, wondering if it would be that simple, but the door didn't move. I looked back at the stairs and saw him descend them in silence. He moved as if he was floating down.

"What is this?" I pointed at the bare white door.

"A door."

Smart-ass. "Oh, wow, no kidding! But how the hell do I open it?" I said through clenched teeth. I wanted to get out of here, out of this strange house. Away from the indescribable feelings he sparked in me.

"I am the only one who can open it. And right now, I can't let you leave." He closed the space between us, and my heart started pounding fast. What did he want from me? What kind of place was this!?

He pulled the curtain aside and looked through the window, surveying the outside. "I don't want anything from you. I just have to make sure you are safe. That is all. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it." My mouth fell open. Did he just respond to my thoughts? And what was he keeping me safe from? I needed to get out of here, and FAST!

"You need to let me go. Now." I tried to sound tough, but a slight creak in my voice gave me away just as it had in the dream.

"I am sorry; I truly am," he said. "But I can't." He turned and walked toward another room. I stood my ground by the door. He turned on the light and sat on the couch in what, I could now tell, was his living room, motioning for me to sit next to him. Yeah, like that's going to happen. "Oh, come on. Come sit so we can talk. Isn't that what you wanted—to talk?"

I hesitated a moment, looking into the room. "Will you let me go after we talk?"

"If that is what you want."

Skeptical, I walked over to him and sat on the leather chair that was tucked in the far corner. The seat made a farting noise when my weight fell on it, and I could feel my body burn in embarrassment. "It . . . it was the chair," I mumbled.

Probably to hide the smile that spread across his face, he looked around the room. I cursed under my breath and took the room in. It was welcoming and warm, but there was nothing personal about it. There were no pictures on the walls, no magazines scattered over the coffee table, nothing whatever that might reveal any personal interests. The room, though clean, looked as if it had never been used.

"So talk," I said.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I glared back at him. "You're the one that wants to talk. I just want to leave. No offense, but I want to go home." The tears started welling in my eyes. No. Do not cry, I told myself. Don't let him get the better of you.

"You shouldn't go home," he said. "It isn't safe." His eyes were on mine now, any trace of his playfulness gone. He meant what he said, but I couldn't understand why. "I saved you back at the cemetery. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so four days ago."

"Wait . . . what! I've been here four days?" I asked, but the question that was really bothering me, I left unspoken.

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it. You woke up a few times, but I doubt you remember that." He ran his hands through his sleek black hair. He was gorgeous, all right. He froze, his hand still in his hair, and looked at me, blushing.

"What happened to me? Why can't I remember and why am I in danger?" I said to change the subject.

"Somebody attacked you at the cemetery, trying to mug you. All you need to know is that you are safe now. You are safe . . . with me."

"Well, much as I truly appreciate your kindness, you know, for looking after me and all, I'm fine now. And I'd like to be on my way home. There's nothing dangerous about my house. It's just a big, empty house now. Nothing dangerous about that." Right?

"You are not alone. You have me."

Okay, seriously, could he really be answering my thoughts? I stared at him, searching for anything that gave him away—anything that gave me any reason to believe he was indeed hearing what was being spoken in my mind. He just stared back, not blinking. Just a sly, crooked smile on that gorgeous face.

"I don't know you." The words were a mere whisper, and I wondered if he heard them.

"Oh, but you do. And just as I did before, I'm here to help you—if you let me, of course." His expression took me aback. It was sincere, almost pained. "Please?"

I wanted to throw myself at him, to feel his arms around me, the warmth of his body comforting me.

Avan . . . Avan . . . Avan, I kept repeating to myself. Remember about Avan.

"What is so dangerous out there?" I said. "And why would you be fit to help me?" The words came out with more anger than I had hoped for. I hated myself for feeling this way.

"It's complicated, Jade." He shook his head but gave no further explanation. He shifted his weight and looked away.

"Really? That the best you can do? It's complicated"? I wake up in a stranger's house, wearing his clothes, after four days in a frigging coma, you tell me about these unseen dangers out to get me, and all I get is, "It's complicated?" I stood up and walked to the door. "Please let me out." I didn't care if I had to walk home—I needed to get out of here.

"I'm sorry. It's just that . . . well, things are complicated, and it will take time for you to get used to what's happening." He had stepped over to me by now, and he rested his hand on my shoulder. I looked into his eyes, their green almost mirroring mine. Then, quite of their own accord, my eyes dropped to his lips. "I promise, you will know everything you need to know, but for now, Jade, it's safer if you don't. Please, let me help you."

"How can I do that when I don't know what I need help with?" I whispered. I needed to know what was going on. As ludicrous as it all sounded, something in me told me to believe him.

"You are very special and there are people out to harm you." A lone tear made an impromptu appearance, and his hand held my face, forcing me to face him, as his thumb wiped my cheek. "I will not let anything happen to you. After all, you are . . ." He was quiet for a moment, and as I searched his face, he dropped his gaze to the floor. "You are my destiny."

I didn't pretend to comprehend what he meant. I simply closed my eyes and let his arms wrap around me. The warmth that came from his body made me feel at home, as if, somehow, this was where I belonged. He smelled of woods after a thunderstorm, clean and elemental.

I opened my eyes and found myself in my own room, Blake's scent still lingering in the air. The light shone in through the window. A few puffs of cloud moved slowly overhead. The sound of birdsong made me smile. Had it been a dream? A wonderful dream, I thought to myself

Something moved on the corner of my eye, and my whole body tensed, wishing it was him.

"Jade?" Claire's soft voice called after me. I peered down on the floor, and there she was. Her hair was the embodiment of messy, the perfectly styled bob gone and, instead, strands of hair shooting up like dry tuft grass in every direction.

I snickered, and in response she threw her pillow at me. "What!" I asked. "What did I do?"

"You're mean, that's what." She grabbed a hairbrush from her bag and began combing it. Even looking as if she had just been electrocuted, she was still adorable. She looked at me again. "It's nice to see you awake."

Her words struck me as a little odd. "How . . . how long have I been sleeping?"

Claire lay down beside me on the bed. "Four days."

So many questions were running wild in my head, yet nothing would come out. How was this possible?

"What happened at the cemetery?" Her voice was soft. "I thought we had lost you for a moment." I was instantly taken back to the cemetery . . . the two caskets being lowered onto the same grave.

I closed my eyes and said in all sincerity, "I don't deserve to be alive."

"What did you just say?" Claire shot up on the bed.

"Can we just let it go?" I said. I turned onto my side, my back to her.

"I don't think so."

"It doesn't matter now. If I had died along with Mom and Dad, people would have soon forgotten about me and my family." I didn't want to talk about it. It was painful, and it hadn't happened as I wished. Still, it felt good to let all my bottled emotions out into the open.

"You think we would have forgotten you just like that?" She was genuinely shocked. "You think Avan would ever forget you?" Hearing his name made me feel guilty. I hadn't thought about him, and when I had been with Blake . . .

"I—I'm sorry," I said. "You have to understand, everything I had, the ones who gave me the life I have, were ripped away from me. And, to make it worse, in a very brutal way. Claire, I saw them, their bodies . . ." I felt the tears brimming in my eyes as my vision got blurry. It felt good to cry. It felt as if I was draining some of the vast reservoir of pain that I kept inside me. The numbness that had consumed me was slowly easing its hold.

She wrapped her arms around me. She didn't need to say anything for me to know she was there for me. Whatever I was going through, she would always be there.

When the last of my tears ran dry, I hugged my bent knees. We were quiet for a little while. "You should really think before you go blurting things like that. We are all here for you. Just talk to us. Let us in. We're here for you." Claire's hand on my arm felt heavy and, at the same time, soothing, calming me down. Soon my eyelids felt heavy, too.

I woke up as a slight burning sensation began in my back, between my shoulder blades. I moved around the bed in discomfort, trying not to wake Claire, hoping it would soon go away. But it didn't. The burning intensified until it became too much to take.

I got out of bed, climbing carefully over Claire and making sure I didn't disturb her. Going into the bathroom, I swung the medicine cabinet door open and I poked around until I found the small orange bottle. I threw two pills onto my tongue, following them down with a big gulp of water.

"It will all change."

My mother's voice rang in my head. The pain kept growing as flashes of the dream of Claire ran through my head. Lilith... Claire... The burning was now almost unbearable. My hands clutched the cold marble counter as I let out a silent scream. The pain eased a little, but then another wave came and this time I grunted aloud. Whatever this was, it wouldn't go unnoticed.

My shirt felt tight, as if someone were pulling on it from the back. I pulled it off over my head and threw it onto the floor. My hands felt sticky. I looked down at the faint trace of blood across my palms. I turned to the side and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

What the hell . . . ?

I stared at my reflection in horror. There were two bloodied slits on the middle of my back, perhaps an inch inward from my shoulder blades. With each wave of pain, they grew larger, tearing my skin open. I fell to my knees and let out an agonized growl as I squirmed, hoping to find a way to make it stop. As I stood back up and looked at myself in the mirror, I saw my eyes glow. Another growl escaped my throat, and a ripping sound filled my ears. The tears were flowing incessantly as the trickle of blood worked its way down my back and onto my jeans.

There was a tap at the door. "Jade? Are you all right?" I couldn't answer her. Instead, a piercing scream came out of my chest. The pain intensified, and I closed my eyes, both hands covering my face. There was the sound of the shower curtains being pulled back, and something thumped against the door, making me wince. "Jade!" Claire was screaming at me to open the door.

The pain subsided a little, and at last I dared open my eyes. The slow burning sensation spread in a wave from my back onto my limbs, and then it was gone. I stood motionless, afraid the pain would come back if I moved. I slowly looked up and met my glowing eyes in the mirror. Intrigued by them despite the pain and fear, I leaned closer. The green irises took on a fiery neon shine, with the edges burning a bright red. What . . . I recoiled from the mirror and took in my full reflection, which brought the terror back with a vengeance. The door flew open, and Claire barged in.

"Oh, my, Jade . . ." Her eyes were wide with shock.

"I . . . I . . ." But what was there to say? I had no words for what had just happened. "What is happening?" I asked her when I regained the power of speech. As if she could explain such a thing.

"It's okay, Jade," she said. "You will be okay." She closed the space between us and put her hands on either side of my face. Her gray eyes bored into mine. My body felt heavy, and so did my eyelids. "It will all be okay."

The darkness swirled around me until it had consumed my awareness, and I was gone.

* * *

The school allowed only a three-day mourning period for any family death, and since I had already missed four days, I had no choice but go to school that Friday.

I woke up in a dazed state, unsure what to make of last night. What was a dream, and what was real? What a nightmare. Massaging my throbbing temples, I looked over to the clock on the nightstand and pulled the covers off.

Claire.

I looked around the still darkened room but couldn't find her. As I shuffled into the bathroom I sniffed the air. Pancakes. Realizing I was famished, I hurried into the bathroom for a quick shower. On the floor, crumpled next to the vanity, was the white shirt I had on last night, now splotched with red stains. I picked it up and examined it closely, but I already knew they were blood.

Could it not have been a nightmare after all? Had it truly happened? What did it mean?

Feeling disoriented and thoroughly confused, I got into the bathtub, turned on the shower, and let the warm water caress my skin. My head throbbed harder than before, and to make matters worse, I was now nauseated. I curled into a ball in the tub and hoped Claire would come and check on me soon.

"Jade?" I must have dozed off, because when I came to, the water from the shower was barely warm. Claire came into the bathroom and found me crying and shivering in the tub. "Oh, no," she said gently. "Here, let me help you." Grabbing a towel from the bathroom closet, she helped me up.

She helped me dry off and then slid my arms through the robe that was hanging behind the bathroom door. Before even making it to the door, I threw up in the toilet. Sitting there on the floor, without looking up, I asked the one thing that had me scared to death: "What is happening to me?"

She didn't answer, which prompted me to look up at her. My body was shaking uncontrollably—whether from cold or fear, I couldn't be sure. A mix of emotions ran wild through her face: sadness, pain, expectation.

"Claire? What's happening to me?" I repeated, pleading this time.

She knelt on the floor next to me and rubbed my back.

"It'll be okay," she said. "You don't need to worry." I shook my head and let her help me up. "It's going to get better." She sat me on my bed and went to my closet to pick out something for me to wear.

"Thank you," I said as she helped me get dressed. And as she went to the bathroom and came back with the hairbrush, I said, "You know you'll have to tell me what's going on, right?" I didn't understand how I could be so calm; it was as if something in the air were making me feel that way. Somehow, I was immune to the nervousness I should be feeling.

"I know," she said. "Let's just try to get through today. We'll have all weekend to talk about things."

She pulled my hair onto a ponytail, the straight ends caressing my back.

"Voila!" she said. "You're all done. Now, let's go downstairs and get some food in you. We need you strong." The smile on her face could not ease the fear that clenched in my gut. My back tingled again as we headed down the stairs.

My first day back at school, and I could feel all eyes on me. The day was gloomy, with low-hanging clouds in every shade of gray. Thunder rumbled in the distance, sounding as if there were a bowling alley in the sky. I had pleaded with Claire many times to let me stay home. But she was adamant that I take my life back, that I not let what had happened rule how my life would unfold from this point forth. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," she said. "It didn't kill you."

I wasn't so sure. I hadn't physically died, but everything in me—my soul, my heart—was broken. The Jade who existed before was gone, and now all that remained was the burden of what happened—a burden I would carry with me until the end of time.

As soon as we got out of the car, students stared at me, some sending their silent sympathy, others whispering under their breaths as they checked me out. Another time, I may have not cared, but now my moods were fluid and unpredictable, and I could feel the anger rise from deep within me.

I walked the rest of the way with my eyes glued to the floor, somehow navigating through the traffic of bodies in the hallway. On the painful way to my locker, a few teachers approached me and gave me their deepest condolences. I simply nodded and never said a word. I tried to smile, but I don't think it ever showed in my face.

I made it to first period just in time. Everyone was already seated when I opened the door and walked in, just as the bell rang overhead. Great, I thought. More pitying looks. The room fell silent as I made my way to my desk. The way everyone was acting was starting to get under my skin. Did they think I felt better because they felt bad for me? Because I went through a tragedy? No, all I wanted was for it all to stop, for everyone to leave me alone and treat me normally—or, better yet, just don't think about me at all. I wanted to go home and curl up in the bed, pull the shades down, and never get up.

I sat down at my desk, making as much noise as possible when I dropped my bag on the floor. Avan leaned over and squeezed my hand, and suddenly things seemed more bearable. And yet, I pulled my hand away and put it inside the pocket of my hoodie. I didn't need people feeling bad for me. It just made everything worse. I knew he just wanted to be there for me, but I wasn't there anymore.

Mr. Morris walked toward me and leaned in to whisper, "Jade, my sincere apologies for what has happened. And although I don't wish to make it any harder for you, I will need you to remove your sunglasses, dear. No sense in you or me getting in trouble over them." He stood tall and glanced down at me, waiting to remove my shades.

"No."

My voice sounded so firm and loud, it caught even me off guard. Claire's mouth fell open. Nate shook his head slightly.

Mr. Morris straightened and, not whispering this time, said, "I'm afraid it isn't a request." He wasn't about to let a seventeen-year-old talk back to him, never mind the extenuating circumstances.

Avan leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Jade, just do as he says, please?"

I rolled my eyes, though no one could see it behind my shades.

I pulled them off and stared Mr. Morris dead in the eye. From the astonished look on his face, it was worse than I had imagined. Some kids who had turned around to watch the exchange gasped.

After Claire and I walked into the school this morning, I had stayed behind, needing a moment before running the gauntlet of pitying looks inside. Watching all the kids hurry into the building, some chatting next to their cars, smiles and laughter all around, I had felt like throwing a punch through a window. But instead, I had gone into the bathroom and pulled out my makeup bag. I looked in the mirror and drew thick lines all around my eyes. After all, I was the emo girl, right? When I had done my makeup I hadn't taken into account what I would see once I opened my locker: a picture of me sandwiched in between Mom and Dad. Just as the picture on my phone screen had done, it invited unbidden tears, with no way of stopping them. I slammed the locker shut and ran into a bathroom stall again to muffle my cries. I hadn't bothered to glance in the mirror, or I would have seen what the tears did to my makeup.

I sure wished I had done so now.

I smiled at him. "Is this better, Mr. Morris?" I asked with a defiant glare.

He stared at me for a moment, unsure what to do. He could have sent me to the restroom to clean up, but instead he shrugged his shoulders and said as he walked away, "Very well, you may keep your glasses on for now," and went on to start his lecture.

I quickly slid the shades back on, pulled the sleeve over my hand, and made a blind attempt at cleaning under my eyes. Avan's eyes were on me, burning onto me. It made me want to cry that he had to see me like this, moody and, worst of all, broken. I wasn't worthy of him anymore. The Jade he had known and loved was gone, shattered.

I pulled my hoodie on as far as it could possibly go, and wished I could just disappear. With any luck, the day would go fast. I was not in the kind of mood to be nice, so every time anyone dared glance my way, I looked away.

In between classes, Claire and Nate tried to make small talk with me, to pull me from the dark, cold rut I was in, but all I did was nod and make halfhearted attempts to smile. During lunchtime, while I dropped my books off at my locker, I felt him coming toward me. It amazed me that even in the sorry state I was in, his energy called for me and mine continuously searched for him. I felt his hand on my arm, moving downward, searching for my hand.

"Join me for lunch?" His soft breath on my ear made my insides quiver.

"I think I'm actually going to call it a day," I said. "Too much on my mind to just sit around and deal with—I have to get out." I pulled away from his embrace and started to walk away, never once looking back.

He reached me and held my hand, soothing me. "I'll come with you."

"No! Please, I need to be alone. I need everyone to stop babysitting me, okay?" I pulled away. I was being unreasonable, but I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted life to go back to normal. It never would, though.

I slowed my pace, wanting him, feeling a yearning in the pit of my stomach that never eased, like an ache seeking its remedy. I hid in the bathroom until the hallway was clear, and made a quick stop by Claire's locker. After a few tries, I got the right combination. I slid my hand into her purse until I found the keys to her car.

Shortly after one thirty, I reached my first destination: my parents" now darkened and closed store. I sat on the car with the music as background noise, leaned in between the seats, and grabbed my gray hoodie from my backpack. I put it on before killing the engine, then walked to the entrance, where I stood for a few silent moments, battling with myself, unsure now whether this was such a great idea after all. I took a deep breath and unlocked the door, but before entering the store I turned around, sensing someone right there behind me. Chills running though my body, I looked up and down the almost empty street, but apart from a few slow-moving cars, there was no one standing behind me, no one even walking.

I entered the store and quickly locked the door behind me. Unable to shake the feeling of someone watching me, I took another look outside. The smell of sawdust, which I once had thought repellent, was now sweet and full of nostalgia. I stood there, stuck in place, taking it all in. Mom was very organized and an amazing decorator. She had created part of the store as a living showroom.

To the right was a homey, cozy living room, assembled from antique furniture they had found. The Louis XVI gilt wood canapé settee was gorgeous, even with its more recent upholstery. In front of it stood a circa 1910 walnut and mahogany coffee table carved with beautiful spirals.

Against the wall stood the grandfather clock—minus its weights, which Mom had removed because the eerie, clanking chime startled her. A large bookcase, almost the same walnut color as the coffee table, was filled with books, some new and some that looked as though they might disintegrate at a touch. I moved closer and read over some of the titles, running my fingertips over them.

I walked around touching every piece of furniture my dad had refurbished, feeling his presence in each one, then walked past the showroom and onto Dad's work space. Each of his tools hung on its hook over his workbench. A small pile of sawdust and shavings had been swept into a corner.

I missed them so much. No amount of tears could ever express how much I missed them. I sat on Mom's usual seat behind the cash register and caressed the counter in front of me, where, underneath the glass, she had kept her collection of bills from different countries. I took a deep breath and basked in the view that Mom had had for so many years, gazing through the big front windows onto the street. Dark clouds started to roll in, turning the sight before me a little spookier.

" _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke. You must leave,"_ the voice in my head urged. Startled by it, I froze.

I was quickly reminded of my second stop. Although I wasn't done visiting the store just yet, I knew better than to ignore the voice within. Something, someone, was lurking out there. Maybe my parents hadn't been what this Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke was looking for—maybe it hadn't finished the job. Or maybe it was after me all along.

The alarm that my thoughts were inciting within me left my feet stuck to the floor. The paralysis didn't last long, though. I retraced my steps all the way to the front of the store, locked it, and ran to the car, hitting the automatic door lock button. There was no trace of any panther or of Lilith.

I started the car and drove to the library, sporadically searching my surroundings for anything out of place. Arriving at the library, I pulled into the closest parking space to the building, grabbed my bag, and ran toward the elegant four-story sandstone structure.

As I reached the revolving door I slowed my pace, knowing that if anyone was after me, they weren't likely to confront me in a public place—or so I hoped. Once inside, I walked over to the older woman sitting at the checkout desk. Her white hair was pulled into a bun, and she had thick black-framed reading glasses. "Excuse me, ma'am?" I said, laying my bag down on the Cherrywood desk. "Which way is the computer lab?" It really had been a long time since I was here.

She stood up and leaned on the desk, then pointed to the far left corner of the lobby. "Right through those doors, sweetheart, up on the third floor." I thanked her and had started away when she called after me, "You might want to be quick, because today we close at six."

I nodded and looked at my watch. It was 5:25. I picked up my pace and followed her directions. As I was waiting for the elevators, a cold, bony hand grabbed my shoulder. The touch made me scream. I twisted around to break free. "She's found me," I thought. "And now she will kill me, too."

"I apologize for startling you, dear, but you forgot your bag," the librarian said, holding it out in front of her. She looked me up and down with a puzzled expression before returning to the checkout counter.

Good one, Jade. The killer librarian will beat you to death with the unabridged dictionary. Chiding myself for my nervousness, I stepped into the elevator and got out on the third floor.

I walked down the narrow corridor between bookshelves that seemed to have no end. Finally reaching the end of the stacks, I found a room with several large tables and chairs. To my left there were three rows of perhaps five computers each. I seemed to be the only one on this whole floor, and that made me feel uneasy.

Sitting down at the first computer on the last row, I moved the mouse around, and the screen came to life. I searched for panther names. Nothing caught my eye, and I was just about to close the search screen when an entry with the heading "Panther Mythology" caught my eye. It sounded promising, so I started reading. A few lines down, I read, "The panther was said to save people from the dragon, or Evil One." Right then I knew that the article would have nothing of what I was looking for. In fact, it was just flat wrong—this benevolent creature that was supposed to save people had just killed my parents.

I tried to spell the name that the voice kept telling me about. I typed "keesikillakee" and got nothing, but in one of those "Did you mean?" windows I found it: "Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke." I quickly clicked on it, and it redirected me to another page of results. I clicked on the second result; it was from one of the most reputable Web sites.

Once, twice . . . Couldn't be—I must have spelled it wrong.

The picture on the screen resembled the woman in my dreams. I read on. Sure enough, her name was Lilith. The voices in my head must have been playing games with me, because this woman was from Adam and Eve's time. It was all ludicrous. I kept reading, though, hoping to find some kind of connection. She was made out of Adam and the Earth, rebelled against Adam, and got together with an archangel named Samael. Then, somehow, somewhere along the way, she became a demon.

A demon—sure. Was I supposed to believe this crap? I stared at the page until I saw in the corner of the screen that it was 5:50. I hit "Print," closed my screen, and grabbed my bag before walking over to the little counter with two printers on it. I waited for all six pages to print and slid them into my bag.

It can't be, I thought as I made my way to the elevators once again. It wasn't possible that some demon created in the time of the Garden of Eden was after me. Then again, nothing that had happened lately made much sense, so maybe this wasn't as far-fetched as it would have seemed just a few days ago. Why would she be after me, though? What did she want?

My stomach started hurting. Somewhere, hidden in plain sight, was the key to making sense of this story. There had to be. It was time for me to have that talk with Claire and Nate.

It was dark by the time I came outside. I speed-walked to my car, fumbling with my backpack as I fished out the hoodie once again and rummaged for my keys. The cold air got even colder—unnaturally so. I stopped, feeling a presence behind me.

Don't turn around, Jade, I told myself. Just keep walking. I took a few more steps and felt it come closer. I spun around, and there she was, head cocked to the side, studying me. It was Lilith. Her red hair flowed down almost to her waist, floating a little in the breeze, so that it looked almost like flames—the way it had looked in my dream. I felt a calm come over me. As she came closer, the voice inside my head urged, "Run!" I couldn't move, though. My eyes were locked on her, mesmerized by the grace with which she moved.

Her black dress swayed and billowed with the breeze. Beautiful as the sight was, it gave my belly an uncanny twist. "Where are the cherubim who are always at your side? Not guarding you today?" Her voice was mocking me, yet at the same time it was soft and velvety. She couldn't be the same horrid being described on the Web site. It made no sense. Cherub—wasn't that what she had called Claire in my dream?

"Wh— who?" I asked. She gave an eerie smile at that and twitched her head again, as if trying to read my whole being. Then her gaze turned to irritation.

"Jade, run!" the voice yelled at me again. "Now!"

I snapped out of whatever lock she had on me, and as I turned to start running away, I ran right smack into Claire. I took her in for a moment, making sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I grabbed both her arms, as if she might disappear at any moment. I scanned the whole parking lot, which by then was empty, and found no sign of Lilith. Was my mind toying with me? Lilith had never been here. It was just my overactive imagination . . . right?

"Jade! Are you okay? What happened?" Claire pulled me back around to face her.

I tried to catch my breath and give my heart some time to slow down. "I'm all right," I said. "I just thought I saw something." She had been here. I was sure of it. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, someone decided to steal my car, so Nate and I came to town looking for you and I saw the Beetle. So he dropped me off and went home. I figured I'd give you a ride home." She seemed totally normal while giving me her explanation, but something told me she wasn't being completely honest. I had dropped my bag the moment I decided to run, so I picked it up and searched for the keys, all the while looking around for any sign of Lilith. But she was long gone.

We drove in silence for some time. I was lost in thought about what this strange woman could possibly want from me. And what did she mean about the cherubim guarding me? What the heck was a cherub, anyway? The more I thought about it, the weirder it seemed that Claire had found me at the library. After all, Hollow Falls' library was about ten minutes past downtown. No one came out here but people who lived here or were going to the library. Claire wouldn't drive by "just because," even if she had been looking for me.

"So, how did you know where to find me?" I asked casually, stealing a quick glance her way.

She shifted on the driver's seat, and from the corner of my eye I saw her mouth form a thin line, which could only mean she was thinking—possibly about another lie to feed me. "I didn't. As I said, we were driving by and I saw you walk out—"

I cut her off. "No. You said you saw the car, not me. So what's it going to be, Claire? What is going on? Are you finally going to tell me what's up?"

She didn't say a thing, didn't even blink—just stared out the window.

Now I was starting to get annoyed. Here I had a supposed demon after me (even if I still didn't quite believe it), and weird things had been happening for quite some time. And she wanted to pretend everything was just hunky-dory?

"That's okay," I said. "Don't tell me anything, but sooner or later you'll have to. Something's happening, and I have no idea what it is or how to control it. So if you don't want to help me..." I left the unsaid threat hanging like an elephant in the air, but she didn't budge and didn't say a word for the rest of the drive home.

As she parked in my driveway and turned off the engine, neither of us moved. "Look, Jade," she said, staring ahead at the garage door, "it's more complicated than you could ever imagine, and I just don't know if you're ready yet." She turned and gave me an apologetic look.

"But I need to know!" I was practically yelling. "Do you get that? How complicated is that?"

"Let's just go inside and I'll explain as much as I can," she said, sliding out of her seat a little too quickly and walking up to the house.

Inside, I turned on some lights and headed to the kitchen. There may be someone trying to kill me, but I wasn't dead yet, and I was starving. I sat on the couch with a bowl of corn flakes, waiting for her. When she didn't start, I said, "Who is coming after me? And why? What have I ever done to anybody?"

I could feel her body tense. Then the doorbell rang, and she stood up. When she came back, Nate was with her.

"Great," I muttered. "Maybe you'll tell me what the hell's going on." I put a spoonful of cereal in my mouth and crunched away. It seemed really loud.

"Okay, so what is it that you think you already know?" Nate asked, dropping his lanky frame onto the couch. I caught the twinkle of amusement on his eyes. Did he think this was funny? My parents had been dead less than a week!

I told them about the voices and my dreams, though keeping the part about Blake to myself. I also skipped Lilith's showing up at the library. After all, I wasn't totally sure it had been real.

"It isn't exactly what you'd call normal," I said when I was done. "Nothing that's been happening is. I need to know why, and I need to know why my parents died."

Nate stared at me, taking me in, looking as if he was weighing his options. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when Claire interrupted him.

"We'll help you, but this is a whole 'nother world, Jade. As much as you may think you're prepared, well, what I'm about to tell you is going to hit you hard."

"Can you at least tell me why someone is after me?" I asked.

"We don't know yet what they want, exactly," she said. "But we'll figure it out—I promise."

"Why does she call you "cherubim"?" I watched her, half expecting another evasive answer, but instead I hit the jackpot. She couldn't have looked more shocked if I had just slapped her. She stayed silent for a while.

Nate scooted closer on the couch and brought his face right up close to mine. "Where did you hear that word?"

"I told you, after my parents died I had a dream." I looked at Claire. "You and she where there, and she called you a cherub and said something about you not being able to save me, just like you couldn't save—"

"Shemer," she finished. She fidgeted in her seat. "It wasn't a dream, Jade. It was a different realm. I didn't sense you there—I have no idea how you got there." No longer talking to me, she was pacing back and forth in front of the TV and muttering to herself.

"This changes things," Nate said after a brief silence. "It's progressing too fast. It's become too dangerous now." I could see in both their faces the faintest trace of alarm, but just as suddenly as it had come, it was gone.

"What is!" I was yelling now. "What are you talking about?"

Claire started making plans for us to leave, saying that Lilith was too close now and that she could come after me at any moment. I tried to ask why she would be after me in the first place, but she wouldn't acknowledge me. It was as if I was completely gone. They were talking among themselves, and I was left out of it all.

"I "m not going anywhere until someone explains to me what the hell is going on!" Once again I sounded like a six-year-old throwing a tantrum. I even stamped my foot on the floor.

"You're in danger," Nate said matter-of-factly as Claire kept pacing back and forth.

"Gee, really?" I deadpanned. "Dear me, I had no idea I might be in some sort of danger." Then, dropping the sarcasm, I said, "What are we exactly?"

In response, all I got from Claire was a blur as she flashed by me and pounded upstairs to the guest room, slamming the door behind her.

I turned and looked at Nate. "What the hell was that?" That was Hollywood vampire fast—too fast for human eyes to catch, but I had caught it.

"That's Claire, and that was a glimpse of what we are," he simply said as he made his way toward the staircase.

Since no one would help me get my arms around what was going on, I decided to go for a drive. I couldn't just sit and do nothing, even though I knew in the back of my mind that Lilith could find me anytime she liked. Right now I didn't care. Hell, for all I knew, she may actually explain more about all this than my so-called best friends.

As I got in the car and started driving, feelings of betrayal started to fill my head. My two best friends, whom I had shared everything with, were holding out on me. All this time shared with them felt like a lie. Why were they even my friends—because they wanted to be, or because they had to? I didn't want to think about it too much. I obviously wanted answers, but no one was giving them to me, and everything else that was happening around me was just too weird. Maybe Claire was right: maybe I should just stay out of it. But how could I do that?

I had made it downtown, where all the shops and restaurants were still open and lively with all types of people. I rolled down my window for the first couple of blocks, just letting the music from the restaurants, the laughter, and the happy chatter fill the car. I decided that a walk in the cold night might help clear my head, and I parked near Mom's favorite spot, Capri Valley, a homey little Italian restaurant.

I made my way down Main Street and cleared my head of all that had been going on. I wanted to take this little time I had alone and just be me—whatever was left of me, at least. I went into a few clothing stores and fell in love with too many outfits and accessories.

What was I going to do when I needed money? I would probably have to get a job after school and start saving up. The house had been paid off a long time ago, so I didn't have to worry about mortgage payments or rent, but everything else was up in the air at the moment. It was still hard to believe that at seventeen I was all alone.

The night started to get colder, and as usual, I didn't have a sweater with me. I remembered I still had the debit card Dad had given me a couple of years ago for emergencies. At the time he gave it to me an emergency was not having enough for a cab or for pizza on a Friday night. Since I had never really gotten the chance to use the card, I didn't really know how much was on it, so I picked up the cheapest (and, as it happened, ugliest) sweater I could find. Luckily, there was enough for that.

As I left the store and walked to the car I started feeling a pull, as if my body were in control and wanted me to keep walking. Not knowing what the pull was, I fought it at first, but it kept getting stronger until I just gave in and let it lead me. I stopped at a café where some kids from school usually hung out. Not really our kind of spot, but from where I was standing, I could recognize some classmates.

I took a quick look around the outside tables and then took a closer look through the window at the inside. To the left were about six tables filled with kids having sodas and sweet treats. To the right were two pool tables, with a small counter attached to the wall, where people had set their drinks, and some girls had laid their purses. Amy and her preppy friends were acting all dumb around the football team. I kept scanning the place, my body still urging me to proceed.

That was when I saw him. He was by the pool table nearer the wall, one hand on the side of the table and the other holding a pool cue. He was laughing at something someone had said, and he looked so lively and vibrant, I could actually see light emanating from him. It was probably the same energy I felt every time I was around him.

He leaned over the table. As he was lining up to take the shot he picked up his gaze, and it just sort of locked straight on to mine. I couldn't believe my own eyes. He was hanging out with her now? I gave him the once-over. How could he? He straightened up and handed the cue to Ron, the quarterback. Amy grabbed his arm, probably asking where he was going, and at that point, I decided I had seen enough.

I started walking back to the car, my feet hitting the ground at a fast clip. I needed to get away from here, from him.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Hey..." His voice sounded short of breath.

I didn't respond. I was too upset to come up with anything to say right now. I fidgeted with the sleeve of my new sweater, almost ripping it apart.

"What are you doing here?" he said, looking around. "Are you alone?"

"Does it matter? You seem to have all the company you need." I spat the words at him. Of course he would be with her—I was nothing but baggage now. I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe you." I looked up at him, searching his eyes.

"It isn't what it seems," he said. I wondered if it sounded as lame to him as it did to me.

"That's what they always say, and it always ends up being exactly what it seems." I turned around and started walking away. Just then I heard her shrieking, annoying voice.

"Avan?" There was that unmistakable grating lilt. "Why don't we go back inside? There's nothing worthy out here."

I slowly turned to face Amy.

"You don't need to do charity work for the orphan."

Avan got in front of me, shielding me from her—or maybe it was the other way around.

"Take it back," I said through clenched teeth.

"Why would I? It's true, isn't it? Orphan."

I couldn't believe she was actually saying this—as rude and mean as she was, this had to be a new low, even for her. And what was worse, she wasn't showing the slightest remorse about it. I had taken years of bullying from her, and she never got to me that much, but now she was actually making fun of my parents" death. This was where I drew the line.

The old Jade was long gone, replaced by a new one who wouldn't take crap from anyone. And it was high time someone stopped Amy. It was getting out of hand.

"Amy, that was uncalled for," Avan said. He put his hands behind him, trying to hold me back so I wouldn't do something I was going to regret. I knew what she was doing. She was mad that she hadn't been able to break him, and so now she was going to pull out all the stops to hurt me.

"Oh, what a good boyfriend you are, Avan," she hissed. "But be careful, or you may end up dead, too." That was it. Although she may have been right, she was way out of line, and something inside me awoke.

I took a step around Avan as he tried to reach for me, but there was no turning back. The feeling in my back was stronger now than it had ever been before. I took another step forward. My face felt numb. I knew there was no expression on it anymore. Amy's friends took a few steps back, and as I searched Amy's eyes, there was no backing down—she was daring me to do something to her. I lifted my hand, my index finger out, pointing it right at her face, "Don't ever talk about my parents that way, understood?"

As I was about to turn back toward Avan, she sneered, "Or what? What are you going to do, orphan?"

That was it. Whatever little shred of humanity was left in me evaporated.

"Or this." With a movement as fast as the thought behind it, I pushed my arm out, catching her under her shoulder. I had wanted simply to shove her back, but it wasn't just a shove. I had sent her flying a good ten feet back. She fell on her butt and shrieked in pain, rattling off a few good obscenities my way. Her friends all rushed to help her get up, all the while glancing up at me to make sure I wasn't coming back for more.

Avan grabbed my hand and pulled me away quickly, but not before I saw Blake appear behind some cars. His eyes were on me, his face unreadable. We rounded the corner, and he was gone. I shook my head, trying to clear away any thoughts of him. He's not real, I told myself. You're seeing things, as usual.

"Did you see that" I asked Avan, trying to focus on something else.

"Yeah, we need to get away." Grabbing my upper arm, he walked me to the car. "Dang, girl! Have you been working out?" he joked nervously.

"The light! Didn't you see the light?" I asked again. Before Amy went flying, the moment I put my hand on her I felt something build up under my palm, and then it exploded, sending her up in the air.

"A light?" He looked at me. "What are you talking about!"

He obviously hadn't seen it. Did that mean something?

We walked in silence the rest of the way, my mind in overdrive. I thought of Claire, how fast she moved, and my uncanny new strength. Once again, the vampire idea came to me. But it couldn't be. We definitely didn't drink blood, and we were perfectly fine in the bright sunshine—we didn't sparkle or go up in flames.

The question now was, what were Nate and Claire? More importantly, what was I!

I was driving along, brooding about my strange, chaotic life, watching the headlights on the roadway ahead of me, when I caught sight of something up in the air. I leaned forward on the steering wheel, and just like that, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, Claire and Nate stepped down out of the sky, right in front of me.

"Wh—what the hell!" I gasped, slamming on the brakes.

They landed gracefully on their feet and walked toward the car. I stared at them, a little beyond freaked out. I hadn't even noticed the doors were locked until Claire tapped the window with her fingernail. I clumsily pushed the buttons, and the windows started rolling down. I kept pressing buttons until I heard the doors unlock.

They settled into their seats just as casually as you please. My body was shaking from what I had just witnessed. Definitely vampires, I thought to myself. I was still staring at them when Claire, ever the backseat driver, told me to please get moving. She had the same bubbly personality as always.

"Are you kidding me?" I gasped. "You just walked out of thin air, and you just tell me to drive?" I felt my voice tremble. I certainly didn't want them to think I was freaked out about what I saw, but then, that was a sight you didn't see every day.

"Would you like me to drive?" Nate asked.

I shook my head. I would not show weakness. Why did I have this need to stay cool and take things in stride? "Where do you want me to go?" I said. "I was headed to my house." I started driving in the direction I had been headed before they came along, going a few miles an hour under the speed limit of forty, lost in thought.

"You know, you could step on it a little—it won't hurt," she said in a teasing tone.

"How about you tell me," I said with greater calm than I felt. "What the heck was that!" I yelled. It appeared that I wasn't going to keep my cool after all.

"You wanted to know what we are," Nate said with a little smirk. "Well, this is us showing you."

"Well, how about you explain it a little before you start doing insane things like that!" I pointed my finger forward from the sky to the street.

"Fine. You want the textbook explanation?" Claire asked in a bored tone.

"Yes, please."

"You are a seraph," she said casually.

A deafening silence filled the cab while I waited for either of them to explain what the heck that meant, but no one continued.

"And that means . . . ?" I left the question hanging for them to fill in, but they simply gave me blank stares. "Are you kidding me, guys? What the heck is a seraph? Some kind of vampire?"

This they found immensely funny, and they started laughing—and I mean a good, grab-your-belly kind of laugh. Okay, at least now I could scratch "vampire" off the list.

"No Jade," Nate said, still laughing uproariously. "Come on, vampires are nothing but a myth." I was getting a little annoyed at their being so furtive and secret about all this and then laughing at me when I tried to understand.

"Well, you just flew here, and you can run up the stairs faster than the eye can see, and I just shoved Amy almost into the next county without even trying. So why don't you just give me the facts and help me through this." I shot them an exasperated look, and finally they seemed to understand what I was going through.

"I'm sorry. We're new at this whole explaining thing," Claire said, putting on lip gloss. "You, Jade, are an angel," she said softly, allowing each word to sink in.

An angel? That sure explained the wings, but . . .

We were all quiet for a moment. I was lost in thought, trying to figure out how it all connected, how I could possibly be an angel. "If I am one of those, why am I here in this two-street boondock town? Shouldn't I be in heaven or somewhere?" I asked, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous I sounded.

"Well, you were there at one point," Nate said; "however, somehow, quite of your own accord and without even being aware of it, you fell down. Since you weren't of age yet as an angel, your memory from your past life in heaven was completely erased. Angels on the mortal plane come of age at seventeen, so you just achieved that a few weeks ago."

This was ridiculous!

"I'm sorry, but I . . . it's impossible."

"No, it's not. You fell and have been sort of stuck here. We are your protectors, and, well, we've been keeping you safe from unseen dangers."

"That creepy thing on the street . . ." I hadn't been crazy after all! I had seen correctly.

"Yep, it's easy for humans to dismiss things of that sort, since they're not used to it and would rather believe there is nothing to be afraid of," Nate explained. "You've been raised in the mortal world for quite some time, and so you decided to believe what was easiest to comprehend."

Sure, if that had actually been the case. I hadn't believed their explanations, but I had no other explanation for them, so I never pressed the matter.

"Also, in the mortal realm, as we are at the moment, now that you are of age, other seraphim and supernatural beings can see you for what you truly are. And in your case, it certainly didn't help that you finally found Avan."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for starters, you fell because of him. You sort of fell in love with him, and somehow you found your way down."

"Isn't that, like, not allowed? Didn't angels get prohibited entrance back to heaven for falling in love with mortals?" I said the last word carefully. It felt strange on my lips.

"Angels are created to love, Jade," Claire explained. "They fell because they mated with mortals. Now, that is not allowed."

"So, you mean . . ." I couldn't get the words out.

"Bingo," she said. "You can't be physical with Avan unless you're ready for the consequences. And let me make it clear: do not even think about it."

I could feel the blush creep onto my cheeks, and hoped it was dark enough that they didn't notice it.

"As an angel—and a pure one at that—you have a certain glow that others can see," Nate said. "When you met Avan, and your soul recognized him, your glow went from a mere flashlight to a freaking lighthouse, allowing all kinds of beings to see you. If you don't learn to control your powers, you will keep on shining that light—and everyone wants you, Jade." He finished by giving me a pleading look, as if somehow it was entirely my fault.

"Okay, let's see—have you guys been drinking, by any chance? This is all crazy talk. This is not happening. I am dreaming or having a terrible nightmare. Either way, this isn't real." There really was no way. How could I be any such thing?

"So you will not believe you're an angel, but you were perfectly comfortable with the thought of being a vampire?" Claire chided. "Come on, Jade, grow up a little."

"Before you said I was a . . . Sarah film or something—what's that?"

"Seraphim" Claire said, adding a little eye roll at my ignorance.

I had just about had it. They couldn't just waltz down from the sky, tell me I was an angel, and expect me to know it all. It was too far-fetched, and even though I had seen wings come out of my body, my mind knew better than to believe any such thing.

"Stop here!" Claire yelled.

Obediently, I did as she said, and hit the brakes.

"The cemetery?" I hoped she was joking. No way in hell was I going in there. As I looked at the tall, forbidding iron gates, all I could think of was all that I had lost. I really didn't want to go in there. "It's closed, Claire; let's just go," I said.

My excuse didn't work—no surprise there.

Nate and Claire got out of the car with their supernatural speed. That would take some time to get used to.

I lingered in the car, letting some of what had just been said seep in. It was not possible, as I well knew. So why did it feel right to believe I was an angel? I rolled my eyes at myself. I hadn't been feeling all that angelic lately. In fact, I was becoming the complete opposite.

Claire tapped on my window. "You coming?"

Did I have a choice?

I opened the door and zipped my hoodie as I walked over to the gates, where Claire and Nate stood. I rubbed my hands together as the icy air enveloped us.

"Well, Jade, darling, here's your first lesson."

I looked from her to the gates and back, not really sure what she meant.

Claire pointed at the heavy steel lock. "Open it."

"How, exactly, do you expect me to do that?" I said. I don't have any lock-picking tools—not that I would even know what to do then." I grabbed the gigantic padlock with both hands. It made my whole body shiver. It was engraved with unintelligible words that had long ago been obscured by rust.

"Use your mind. Concentrate on the lock and wish it open." Nate got closer to me. "Close your eyes if it'll help, and just wish it to be open," He repeated.

I did as was told, not expecting much in the way of results, but I still gave it a shot. I wished hard, and nothing happened. It was after the fourth time that I heard the clicking sound that meant I had succeeded. I opened my eyes, and sure enough, the huge lock lay open in my hands.

Just as I pulled it free of the steel bars, a cold wind blew bitterly, chilling me to my core as I pushed open the rusty old wrought-iron gate. The creaking whine as it opened sent an echo through the dark graveyard. This is so wrong, I thought to myself as we walked along the path.

We got to a massive stone sculpture of an angel pointing north. "Don't tell me this"—I motioned to the stone angel—"leads to some kind of lair."

They shook their heads and laughed gleefully, which seemed altogether inappropriate in this somber setting, and I looked furtively around the grounds for anyone who might hear us. But I wouldn't find anyone. The keeper's cottage was on the far west side, and there would be no way he could hear us from way over there.

"So what kinds of things can I do with my mind?" I asked, feeling a little shiver of excitement. I followed them among the graves, looking down at my feet to make sure I didn't trip on anything.

"That is what we call manifesting," Nate said. "You can actually do anything you want, manifest anything your little heart desires." The moment he said it, a red rose appeared in Claire's hand.

"Wow, that is so cool," I said. "So I can manifest ... well, clothes?" I asked.

"Anything. Clothes, money, cars, electronics—anything you want," Claire said.

I nodded, but my mind kept coming up with questions.

"You never really explained to me what a seraphim is," I said, speeding up my pace to keep up with them.

"Seraph—singular," she said, but didn't continue right away. Then she said, "Seraphim are the highest-ranking angels in the heavenly realms. They're described as "the burning ones." Not as in literally burning up, but since in the Hebrew Bible it's a synonym for serpents, they claim the burning is the sensation from the poison." She stopped walking and looked around, as if trying to decide which way we should go.

"Does it mean I poison people? How Christian is that?"

"Oh, Jade . . ." Claire shook her head and laughed.

"Well, does it mean that burning sensation in my back?" I asked her, pretty sure that I was once again making a fool of myself.

"That's your wings. When you get really emotional, if you don't know how to control them, they'll spur out. Trust me, you do not want that to happen—not in public, anyway—which is why we're here." She locked her arm with mine and led me to a clearing. Tall evergreen trees surrounded us, keeping us hidden from prying eyes, if any were around.

Dark clouds blotted out the full moon from time to time, casting the centuries-old cemetery into blackness. Claire nudged me in the ribs and pointed at Nate, who had his eyes closed. He made two fists and raised them to shoulder height, and as he opened them two bolts of light flew out and hovered about fifteen feet from us, lighting the clearing.

I stared in awe at the balls of light and suddenly remembered the light I had created when I pushed Amy. Before I could speak, Claire pulled me into the center of the clearing.

"We're going to have an impromptu basic training session to get you started," she said as she positioned herself in front of me. "For one, you will need to allow your wings to come out. You will need to learn about them, their feel, and how to control them. It is imperative that you learn. However, you really shouldn't try these kinds of things without us around—it will call other entities to where you are."

"So how come I can do it with you guys?" I asked, feeling like a student on her first day of supernatural school.

"That's what we do—it's our job. Besides, you don't know how to defend yourself yet. For now, let's see if we can provoke those little wings to make an appearance."

I stood there for a moment but couldn't feel a thing.

"It usually starts burning when I'm mad or sad," I finally said. "Or when Avan is around."

"Figures," Nate added. "But since we don't have him . . ." He shoved me forward.

What the hell? I turned around to face him, and that's when Claire pushed me, almost making me lose my balance and fall on my butt. Right then it started, the faintest tingling on my back.

"Think of something that really pisses you off," Nate said. "Think of what Amy said to you earlier."

How did he know? Had they been there? Spying on me? It didn't matter right now. As they kept pushing my buttons and I started thinking about Amy and how rude she was, it made my back burn worse than ever before. The burning turned into outright pain. I could feel my skin ripping, parting for the wings to come out.

I let out an unearthly scream and fell to my knees. That was when I heard the flutter of wings above me—not mine, certainly. I looked up and saw all kinds of birds and other flying animals above me. There were hundreds of ravens, but it didn't stop there. Everything from bats to owls, to pigeons had shown up—even an eagle.

"Wow, Jade, you seem to have called in a small air force with that piercing little scream," I could hear Claire say from behind me. "This is good—might come in handy someday."

I was instantly reminded of the night my parents were murdered. How I had unleashed something from inside me, and the ravens had been there immediately, attacking in my defense. I looked up at them and smiled through the pain.

I was brought back to reality when a new wave of pain crashed over me. I wouldn't be able to do this—it was just too agonizing. I dug my hands into the cold dirt, trying to hold on to something, and just as I thought I couldn't take any more, it was over.

I don't know what I had expected of my wings, but what I saw was indescribable. I saw their full length: about eight feet long. The feathers where an immaculate white, and they were soft to the touch, almost like silk.

For a brief moment, I wished they weren't attached to me, so I could actually get the full view, but even now what I could see was marvelous. I stroked the feathers. They were the softest thing I had ever felt. I wanted them all around me, and just like that, the wings came forward and covered me as if giving me a hug. I looked over at Claire, who was standing in front of me.

"Whatever you think, they do," she said.

I was in love with them. I lifted one up, then the other. The movements were involuntary and utterly natural. I wished my parents could have seen this. Or would they have freaked out? Knowing them, I could tell them I was the devil incarnate and they would have loved me just as much. This brought tears to my eyes, realizing

I would never experience this with them, that from now on I was on my own and that . . . It was hard to swallow, comprehending that because of me, because of what I was, they were dead.

Suddenly, I wanted it all gone. I didn't want the wings; I didn't want to be an angel. I wanted my parents back. But what I wanted most of all was to find and destroy the one who had savagely taken everything away from me.

I flapped my wings slowly, feeling the anger grow in my core.

"Now you need to learn to control when they emerge and when they recede. You have to really get the hang of it. You never want to be in a position where you're in danger and need to fly away and your wings won't show. Just the same, you can't be hanging out in public and have them all of a sudden come out, either. I'm sure if Avan hadn't pulled you away tonight, things would have gotten entirely out of hand," she said, sitting down on a gnarled oak root.

"Were you guys there?" I said. "Why didn't you help me with her?"

"You didn't need our help; otherwise, we would have interrupted," Nate reassured me. I nodded, knowing they would help me through anything.

"Okay, so you're telling me I have to go through that pain again?" I asked, cringing at the thought of it. I walked around the clearing, thinking to myself that I wanted the wings to hide, that I needed them to go back inside me. I felt triumphant when they obeyed.

"No, the first couple of times will hurt a bit, but I promise you . . ." She let her wings come out. Hers had a golden tint, as if thin filaments of gold surrounded each feather. They were magnificent. I wanted to touch them, but at the thought of anyone stroking my own wings, I felt an overpowering feeling to protect them from everyone else. I supposed she would feel the same way.

From the corner of my eye, I saw another set of wings spur out with the same golden tint. "It will become like breathing," she said.

Here they were, my two best friends, with their wings flapping. It was a mystery to me how I was taking all this so peacefully.

I thought about how I would now be able to kick Amy's butt if she dared piss me off again. The thought of her was a sure way to get my wings out. This time, the effort was less than before—and, happily, so was the pain. It looked as though Claire had been right: I would hopefully get to the point where I didn't feel them at all.

I tried not to think about how they were coming in and out of my body. Was my skin ripping each time? With their massive size, how—and where, exactly—were they hiding?

The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to know. As long as it didn't hurt anymore, it was fine with me. And so I did just that: made them come in and out for close to an hour, until I didn't have to think about Amy or anyone else to make it happen. It became, as Claire had said, like breathing.

"Okay, I think we did enough work for the first time," Nate said. "I have to say, Jade, you learn fast." He shot me a big smile, and we started back toward the cemetery gate. I checked the time on my cell phone—it was 1:18 in the morning. I wasn't thrilled that we had to be up in less than six hours.

Once we reached the car, Nate got behind the wheel. I was glad I wouldn't have to drive anymore. I was exhausted. I sank back into the seat and tried to relax, but it was impossible; no matter how tired I was, my mind kept coming up with more and more questions.

"It's pretty cool that you have an affinity for birds," Claire said. "That scream you did seems to be your call for them. They hear that, and they'll come and help you out." I could hear the note of admiration in her voice.

I could do that? That did seem pretty cool.

"In my dream, you turned into a lion," I said to Claire. "What's up with that?"

She laughed—that seemed to be happening a lot. "Obviously, you need to start reading," she said. We, both Nate and I, have what they call four faces. We can be any of them, but it isn't just the face that changes. We are human, ox, lion, and eagle. We can morph into any of those to protect you."

"That is wicked!" I said. "What else can I do?"

"You are a portal, which basically means you can transport yourself anywhere. Right now, you could manifest yourself at home in your bed, and you would disappear from here."

She must have caught my grin, because she added, "I wouldn't get too happy about it. It's because of what you are that everyone and their enchanted dog is after you."

Claire's bubbly voice came in from the other side of my bedroom door. "Let's get vertical, sunshine!"

With Lilith out there looking for me, Nate had figured it would be wise to stick together. I couldn't lie—it was nice having them with me. The house didn't seem nearly so scary when I wasn't alone.

I could never understand how Claire could be so upbeat when we had gotten less than four hours of sleep. School would be a long chore in hell today. I would have to deal not only with Amy's usual crap, but with Avan, whom I wanted nothing else to do with. He had known from the start what she was to me, yet he went ahead and hung out with her when I needed him the most. Getting out of bed, I dragged myself into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush.

By the time I made it downstairs, breakfast was on the table, and my mood had begun to improve. I decided to drive Dad's old pickup to school and catch some time by myself. A little bit of silence could help with all the thoughts running like wild horses through my head; Claire's constant babbling would not.

When I got to school, Avan was waiting by his car. I passed him and parked in the closest slot to the gates I could find. It was too early to have to deal with this. Sliding off the seat, I pulled my backpack after me, and my leather jacket—it was chilly out.

I walked past Savannah, who was looking at the little mirror she had stuck with chewing gum on the inside of her locker door, putting red lipstick on. I bumped her elbow, causing for her to draw a thick red stripe across her face.

"Looks great," I told her as I walked by.

"You are such a bitch!" she moaned as she slammed the locker door and hurried off to the restroom to repair the damage.

"Jade, that was not nice." Claire, my self-appointed conscience, was walking behind me now.

"She deserves it," I huffed.

I got to my locker, where I decided to use my newfound powers to my advantage. The lock opened on its own.

"Can you please be careful with that?" Claire whispered, looking around to make sure no one had seen. "You can't just go around doing stuff like that."

I made it to class early. No one else was there except for two boys who were deep in conversation about some graphic novel that they thought was too cool for words. I decided to use this little windfall of free time alone to practice some of the manifesting Claire had shown me last night. I started by wishing for a pencil—simple enough and nothing that would be too noticeable. It took me a few tries to get it to manifest all the way. At first it appeared as a see-through image that I couldn't grab. But then I cranked up the power and made it come all the way. I picked it up, pulled my notebook out, and started doodling with the manifested pencil. It worked, and I was a little surprised at how unsurprised I was.

Students started to trickle in and take their seats. Some were sitting a little too close for me to continue with my experiments. One in particular was too close for comfort.

I was leaning over the side of my seat, digging into my backpack, when I felt the air stir as it always did when he came near, and I turned toward the door. I caught sight of him as he walked in. A slight smile crossed his lips when his eyes met mine. I didn't return it. I wasn't so easily bought. It would take much more than an "aw, shucks" smile for me to forgive him.

He walked toward his seat, and as he was sitting down, he leaned over to kiss me. I moved away, my eyebrows shooting up.

"Hey," he said, moving away and putting his bag on the floor.

I simply nodded at him.

A few girls in the front row turned and scowled at me.

I could see that Avan was truly concerned about what had happened. A little flash of guilt came through his eyes. "I'm sorry about last night," he said.

"Don't be. It doesn't matter anymore."

"What does that mean, Jade?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. After all I've been through, I see you hanging out with her?" He tried to reach for my hand, but I pulled away. "Just, leave me alone, okay? I have enough on my plate to deal with. I don't need the added drama." I did need him, but he wasn't helping me right now. He was only another source of pain, which I could do without.

Claire and Nate walked in then, effortlessly taking the spotlight off me, probably without even knowing it. Avan kept looking my way, searching every inch of me, as if trying to find something that was out of place. Claire twisted on her chair as she sat down and looked at me. I knew that look. She thought I had gone off the rails. I was crazy. Hell, maybe I was—I couldn't tell anymore.

"What was that?" she asked the moment the bell rang and we walked to our next class.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, well . . ." She blew on a strand of hair that fell onto her face. "That seems to be your answer for everything lately. And just so you know, it's not an answer at all."

We had reached lit class. She stopped me at the door and made me face her. I could tell she was truly worried about me, but I really didn't want to talk about it. Talking wouldn't help. Nothing would.

"You can't shut us all out, Jade," she said. "There's still a lot you need to learn about . . ." She looked around, making sure no one could hear her. "... about who you are. Avan has done nothing wrong. He's been there for you all along—"

"Really?" I cut her off. "It sure didn't seem that way last night."

Walking past her, I dropped into my seat. I threw my bag onto the floor and hid my face in the hoodie as she took her seat beside me.

A few kids approached me. They had suffered Amy's bullying as well and were happy to hear what I had done to her. Some even said they wished they had been there to see it for themselves. Oddly, though, no one mentioned anything out of the ordinary about it. Maybe their mortal eyes weren't capable of seeing some of the things we did.

Amy and Savannah looked my way and rolled their eyes in disgust. Claire's eyes widened as if she saw something around me, as if there was some sort of invisible bubble. Her mouth fell open and she touched my hand. Seconds later, the darkness fell over me.

* * *

I opened my eyes to a brightly lit room. I sat up and looked around. It was the nurse's office. I threw off the thin white sheet that was covering me.

"Oh, good! You're awake." Mrs. Robbins's chair creaked as she turned around to face me. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "How are you feeling, Jade?"

"What happened?" I stammered.

"You fainted in class. You don't remember?" She brought her face closer and looked intently at me.

"No, I don't," I answered as she put her wrist against my forehead and then on my cheeks.

"You don't have a fever, but I'm not sure sending you back to class would be such a great idea." She slid her chair back to her table and wrote something on a paper. "Do you have anyone who can give you a ride home?"

Yeah, I'll just call my family. Oh, wait! That's right—they're dead. "Uh, no."

"Well, you only live a couple of blocks away. You think you'll be okay to walk home?" She tilted her head to the side as she waited for my response.

Was she kidding me? "I'm sorry," I said. "You're the nurse, but is it such a great idea for me to be home alone? Unsupervised? What if I faint again?"

She scribbled something else on the paper and stood up. "You just need rest, honey. I promise, you'll be fine."

Yeah, that's what everyone keeps telling me.

She handed me the paper, and I went to the front office. I handed the paper to the secretary, Nicole, and then walked to my car. No way was I walking home in this cold.

As I drove through the parking lot I spotted Amy's red convertible next to Avan's car. With nothing more than a simple thought, all four tires on her car went flat.

I parked in the driveway but didn't get out—just sat there thinking back on the morning's events. I looked up at the front door as I was opening the car door . . . and froze. Blake was sitting on the steps. I felt everything around me light up, as if he had erased everything bad that had happened to me. Looking at him sent butterflies doing loop-de-loops in my stomach.

I walked around the truck, and when I looked again, he was gone. I could see no trace of his presence, but a single red rose lay on the step where he had been sitting.

The next day, after having seen (or at least imagined) Blake, everything seemed better.

"Please, Claire," I said. "I need to learn how to defend myself."

She slowed down as we left the school grounds. "I know that, and I will help you. It all takes time, Jade. Little by little, you'll learn it all."

I gave her an exasperated look. "I don't have time, Claire! If Lilith shows up again and I'm alone..." I closed my eyes as I acknowledged the slip.

She slammed on the brakes and pulled over on the side of the road. "What do you mean, _again_! You've seen her?"

"Well—I mean, I think I did . . . I'm not sure."

"Jade," she said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"That day at the library, when I ran into you, I was running away from her. She was there right before you got there . . . I think. Because then she vanished, so I thought I was seeing things. Just like the guy . . ." Then I remembered, when Lilith walked toward me, the panic I had felt until I finally broke the trance she had me in.

"What guy?" Claire was trying to seem calm, but her voice betrayed her. "And—and you didn't tell me about Lilith before because . . ." Her eyes bored into me like augers. Where was the old effervescent, fun-filled Claire?

I didn't know how to explain it. I had been feeling left out, no one had taken the time to explain what was going on, and, honestly, I hadn't even been sure of what I had seen.

"This is too dangerous for you to be trying to handle it all on your own," Claire said. "You have no idea what she's capable of." She stared off into the distance.

"Then all the more reason to help me learn as much as I can," I said. "She is after me for some reason, and I need to be able to fend for myself. You can't always be around, Claire."

She reached for my hand. "I will always be there, Jade. Do not doubt that for a minute." I knew she meant it, but I had to be prepared nonetheless.

I shifted on the passenger seat and asked her what we were going to do today. But she didn't reply—just smiled and drove on.

We drove well out of town and into the hills, where the roads were narrow and winding, with small farms and country stores scattered throughout. After pulling into a dirt lot that didn't seem attached to anything, she grabbed her cell phone out of the center console and got out of the car. So did I.

We made our way toward the edge of where the deep woods began, with orange and red and yellow leaves in their fading fall glory. She paused and motioned me to hurry, then took off at a slow trot. I hurried after her, and we walked about fifteen minutes into the thick forest. We finally reached a small, slow creek.

"All right, ready to put those wings to good use?" she asked, giving me a tentative smile. I was about to argue with her. I sure wasn't ready for it, but before I could speak, her golden wings spread, leaving me speechless. "Come on, Jade, let those babies out."

I didn't realize my wings had protruded until I caught sight of them in my peripheral vision.

"I—I don't think I'm ready for this yet," I stammered.

She looked back at me and grinned. "Nonsense. Let's go."

She started running along the stream bank, faster than a deer, and so I began running, too. My heart started beating faster, not so much from the run as from knowing what I was about to do.

The moment Claire jumped and pulled away from the ground, I halted.

I couldn't do this.

She must have sensed that I wasn't following her, because she stopped moving forward and simply turned around and hovered about fifty feet above me. "Come on, Jade, you can do this. Trust me."

I looked up at her. "Do I need to run again?" I asked. "Is it like when a plane lifts off?"

I could barely see her shake her head. "No, but since it was your first time, I wanted to get your adrenaline pumping before we took off. You can run a little bit if you feel that you need to; otherwise, work those puppies!"

I stood there for a few seconds, not sure what to do—or even what I wanted to do. I closed my eyes and started picturing myself flying, and the wings reacted.

My feet felt strangely lighter, and I opened my eyes and looked down at the ground receding beneath me. I was doing it! I was actually flying. Excitement took over, and I started laughing.

"See? It's not as hard as it looks. You're doing great. Are you ready for our next destination?"

I turned my head to the right, where Claire's voice had come from, and nodded.

She pushed forward, and I followed. I looked down at the treetops, and the colorful view made me sigh with delight. It was so beautiful, but mostly I felt at home. So many times I had dreamed about this. The wind made my eyes water at first, but soon they adjusted, and it felt soothing on my face.

"Where are we going?" I flapped my wings a little harder to get close to Claire. She looked so divine in this state! I caught myself wondering whether I looked as great as she did, and feeling once again the slightest twinge of jealousy.

"We're heading toward Falls River State Park," she said. "There shouldn't be people around there right now, so we could do some more training there without the worry of anybody seeing us."

This was all so exciting, I could barely contain my exuberance. "This is so friggin" awesome, Claire!" I gushed, and then wondered whether that was the sort of thing angels said.

She smiled at me and started going higher, spinning around and then dipping back down. As much as I wanted to be able to do that, I wasn't about to go do something dangerous and get myself killed. Then again, could I even die?

I was flitting along in ecstasy when I noticed that Claire seemed to be having a hard time keeping up with me.

"The only reason you're faster is because you have bigger wings," she said when we finally touched down.

I giggled, realizing that she wasn't enjoying how, as new as I was, I could still fly faster. On foot now, she led me through darker and denser forest, which suddenly opened onto a huge clearing that looked something like a battlefield.

"What the hell happened here?" I asked, taking in the strange surroundings of broken and torn-down trees.

Some boulders were split in half, and in many places the soil and ground cover had been disturbed.

"We use this space to practice," Claire said. "Think of it as sparring. We do have to keep in top shape, you know."

It made sense, I supposed. "But can't you just find someone that can fight back?" I said half in jest. "You are sort of ripping up the environment."

"Ha-ha, Jade. Now, let's get into battle training."

"Uh . . . battle training?" I guess I should have seen it coming, but after seeing what she had done here, I was a bit afraid of what she would do to me. After all, she had how many years of practice? And this was my first time—which reminded me of something that had been bothering me. "How old are you, Claire?"

I could see that the question caught her off guard. "Does it matter?"

It did. I wanted to know.

Although I didn't answer, she replied. "In mortal years, about six hundred." My jaw dropped. My cute, lively Claire, six centuries old! She then struck a pose and said, "I don't look too shabby, though, right?"

I laughed and agreed.

"Now, let's get this started," she said. "The guys will be expecting us in, like, an hour or so." She moved to the center of the clearing. "What we're going to do is learn from experience. I know this is your first time, so I'll ask you to come at me and I'll defend myself, so everything I do, your job is to memorize it—it's exactly what you will need to do when someone attacks you—I mean, if anyone attacks you."

I nodded as I watched her crouch. Unsure what to do, I charged at her, deciding that I would give it my all and wouldn't play the inexperienced student.

As I gained speed, she got ready for impact. I could tell she expected me to run smack into her, so instead, when I was four or five steps away I jumped, my wings appearing in an eye blink, and flew over her. Landing right behind her, I put my arms around her in an attempt to throw her to the ground. Although I had surprised her with my attack, my grip wasn't strong enough. She pulled away from me, grabbed the back of my neck with her right arm, and spun me with surprising force. The next thing I knew, she had me in a headlock.

"That was amazing Jade."

I grunted, disappointed that I hadn't been able to get the best of her.

"No, seriously, I didn't expect you to jump over me and attack me from behind at all. That isn't a first-timer kind of move. You'll learn faster than I ever did."

She helped me get up and said, "Now let's do it again, and this time when you grab me, use force. Treat me as a threat. Kick me, punch me—do anything you would do to someone who was about to kill you. Don't hold back, okay?"

I nodded, and before she was ready I did as she said, kicking the back of her knee and making her fall to the ground. Then, jumping over her, I grabbed her forehead and chin between my hands as if I were going to twist her head off.

She chuckled and congratulated me. "I don't think you're going to need much practice at all. Where the heck did you get all these moves?"

I stood up and backed away, staring at her, not daring to break eye contact and let her attack me. "You make fun of my movie addiction," I said, laughing, "but see? It pays off to watch thrillers and action movies—I might have picked up a move or two from there."

We went on that way for forty minutes. My jeans had ripped, my shirt had dirt all over it, and my hair was a tangled mess. I kept pulling leaves out of it as we drove back to Claire's place. I glanced over at her, and seeing that she didn't look any better than I, I asked her what we were going to tell Avan had happened to us. I even had dirt under my nails—it was disgusting.

"Just manifest yourself all fresh and clean."

I gave it a try, and as I looked down at myself, I had the same clothes, but they were inexplicably clean, I lowered the visor on the passenger side. There was no more dirt on my face, and my hair was neatly tied in a side ponytail.

"Awesome." I paused and then asked, "How come it doesn't really hurt?"

She looked over at me "What do you mean?"

"When we hit each other or fall hard onto the ground—it doesn't seem to hurt as it should. I mean, I got a few scrapes and cuts, but the pain is barely there." I turned to her with bewildered eyes.

"We heal very fast," she said. "And as far as the hurting goes, it doesn't hurt the way it would if we were human, but sometimes they can hit a soft spot. Trust me, it will cause some pain then; still, it's a lot less than poor mortals have to deal with."

I thought once again about the pain I could finally cause Amy. Realizing where my thoughts were leading, I just had to ask Claire if it was normal for an angel to think that way.

She explained to me that since I had been in the mortal world for so long, I had acquired their way of thinking, and as long as I was in the mortal world I would always have their way of thinking. That didn't mean, she said pointedly, that I could go around hurting people who didn't deserve it.

"Since we have another half hour before we get to your place, would you mind answering some more questions?" I said. There was so much I needed to know, and some things I had to know now, to be able to understand what I was up against.

"Shoot," she said without taking her eyes off the winding road.

"You guys said everyone wants me. What does that mean exactly?" I squinted, waiting for her response.

"You know how we said you're a seraph?" I nodded. "Okay, a seraph is an angel that serves as a portal. In heaven, you are used as a portal between realms, but being here, as long as you are a pure angel, you are a portal to anyone's wildest desires. That's why there are so many people after you and why we have to keep you safe. If anyone takes you, they could use you to accomplish whatever they may want. Nate and I have had to take care of a few of them since school started and you started glowing."

I nodded dumbly, feeling fear creep into me again. They all wanted me because they wanted to kill me.

"You said as long as I am pure—what does that mean?"

"Well, when you fell from Heaven it was only to keep you safe. You didn't actually Fall. Therefore, you stayed as a pure Angel. Others, like the Fallen ones, that leave Heaven on their own agenda and get involved with humans in a more, uh, personal way, are not pure anymore; hence, if you ever meet one, you'll see their wings are black."

"Okay, and what would make me a Fallen Angel or not pure anymore?" This subject was starting to make better sense, yet I was afraid of the answer that was coming.

It appeared that if I were to disobey Heaven or any other pure Angel, or got physically involved with a mortal, then I would be a fallen one. That meant I'd better not even think of taking my relationship with Avan any further than second base. I tried not to think about how that would be an imposition on our relationship, since, for the time being, there was no relationship.

"I now know what I am," I said, "but how about you and Nate? Are you the same kind of angel? Your wings are the same color."

"Yeah. As you heard Lilith say, we're cherubim. We guard the seraphim—in this case, you. That's our job—we are to guard you and keep you safe. We are always created in pairs, perfectly fit for each other—ready-made mates." She smiled, but that worried me.

"Is that all you guys are? Bodyguards? Because for the past three years I really considered you guys my best friends, I don't know what I would do if you told me you guys were just pretending all this time . . ." I looked out my window at the darkening sky, the last of the flaming orange hues melting into purple.

"Oh, no! How could you think that, Jade? Yes, I won't argue we were sent here to take care of you, but, honey, you're like my sister. Don't doubt that for a second. It actually hurts me a little that you would even toy with the idea."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling sheepish. "But with everything going on and me turning out to be what I am, things don't seem to make much sense nowadays." I was quiet for a moment but kept on with my questioning. "So Lilith is after me for the same reason as the others? She just wants me for whatever is on her agenda?

"That's pretty much it. I don't really see any other reasons why she would be after you."

"Do you know what she could possibly want? I mean, what she would want to achieve by killing me?"

"I have an idea, but I couldn't be sure really."

I realized we were already at Claire's place. The porch light was on.

Claire pulled all the way up, parking right next to the front porch. I looked back at her and realized she had just manifested herself clean and combed. We got out of the car, and as we walked toward the door, two boxes of pizza and a two-liter bottle of root beer appeared out of nowhere and fell at my feet.

"Make sure you don't open that," she said, giggling, as she pushed the door open and walked into the house.

Claire laid the boxes over the small bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room. The smell of the steamy pizzas must have reached the living room, because Nate wandered over. Avan"s head peeked from behind the wall. Oh, great.

However exciting my afternoon had been, and as mad as I was at him, to see him was still amazing. I tried to look casual, nonchalant, but the boy could sure take my breath away—I literally had forgotten to breathe since he walked into the kitchen and closed the space between us. Nate grabbed two slices and walked out, followed by Claire.

Avan sat on the bar stool next to me. "I'm sorry if my being here upsets you," he said.

It didn't. I needed him, but I couldn't have him expecting me to be who I was before. There was no turning back from this new life.

"No, it's fine." I pulled a slice onto my plate and moved away, using the excuse of looking for a cup.

"Jade, why don't you tell me what is going on?" he said, giving me that look always seemed to melt me inside. "I want to help you through whatever it is you're going through. If you're depressed or whatever, please, let me be there for you."

He was making it nearly impossible to stay mad and to stay away from him. "It's—it's complicated," I mumbled. "Maybe one day I'll be able to explain it." I was walking past him on my way to the living room when he grabbed my arm and pulled me into him, almost sending pepperoni pizza upside down onto the floor. I looked up at him, wondering what had made him do such a thing, when he kissed me. It was hard and passionate and wonderful. A pair of green eyes appeared in my mind, and I pushed him away.

When he let me go and I gathered my wits, I walked away. What was I doing!

We all sat on the couch watching the football game, with Nate and Avan screaming at the top of their lungs, telling the players to throw the ball or run or tackle or block. They looked like two madmen. Claire was absorbed in a gossip magazine, and I was lost in thought. Blake. How could I be feeling this way, whatever this was? Blake was a mere figment of my imagination, someone I had created in my dreams, yet I felt as if I needed him in order to survive.

When the game was over I walked Avan to the door. It was the least I could do. After he repeated his plea to let him help me through whatever I was going through, all I could do was nod and smile as I watched him walk out to his car. After seeing him off the driveway, I closed the door and headed back to the kitchen to grab some more pizza. All that exercise in the afternoon had left a void in my stomach.

Nate and Claire were already there. In no mood for pleasantries, I went in for what I wanted to know, something that kept nagging at me. If I was ever going to be with Avan, I needed to know this.

I blurted, "How can I be with Avan?"

Both of them looked at me. It took them a few seconds to gather themselves up, and eventually, Nate answered, "Well, you can't. You are a pure angel, and so being with him would make you fall—and could kill him in the process."

"What!" I was not expecting that last part. "What do you mean, kill him?"

"You're a portal, Jade. A portal to heaven. It could happen that you may transport him there, and there is no turning back."

"How can I not transport him?"

"I'm sorry, honey," said Claire. "There is no way. He is a mortal, and you are not to be mixed with him. We should have made sure he didn't come into your life. You and he just cannot happen."

"There's nothing else that can be done?" Finally realizing how much it bothered me being told I couldn't be with him, it made me realize just how much I wanted to be with him. I wouldn't accept it. I shoved half the pizza slice in my mouth.

"Well, there is something else, but . . ." He looked over at Claire, who looked as though she was about to kill him. Her hands were gripping the countertop so hard, her knuckles were white.

"There is nothing else, Nate." Her words were loud and final, full of foreboding.

But Nate pressed on. "Some angels have discovered a way to be physical with the being they desire," he said, defying Claire with this tidbit of information.

" _Being_? You make it sound like you're talking about an alien or something. You mean human?" He had my full attention now.

"Angels who fell in love, like you did with a mortal, came to find out that by sharing their divinity with that mortal, they would be able to be together, but they both would have forever turned their back on heaven."

He had my complete attention. "But I would still fall." I thought about it for a moment. If he could stay alive, I didn't care. "How do I do it?"

"It's sort of like sucking blood and gaining immortality. Here is where the myth of vampires was created. They only need to share divinity one time and then they become immortal, as we are. The whole needing blood to live" thing was a scam from the very beginning." That last part caught me off guard. I guess I never realized that we were not only angels but immortal as well.

Claire came over to me in her lightning-speed mode and was inches away from me when she spoke. "I really hope you are not thinking of doing anything of the sort, Jade, because trust me when I say, it will end very badly for you." She hissed the words at me and then added, "And even worse for him." And in a blur, she was gone and her bedroom door slammed.

I faced Nate and whispered, "What the hell?" unsure what had taken her over.

Nate looked as if he was going to be sick, and I couldn't help feeling a little guilty. I had made him say something Claire obviously didn't want me to know, and now he would have to pay for it.

"I'm sorry, Nate," I said. "I just wanted to know. I need to have all the facts so I can make informed decisions. I'm new to all of this. You guys have been around for six hundred years, but I was pretty much just created." I walked over to the freezer and dropped a few ice cubes in my cup, then slowly poured the root beer.

"Four hundred and sixty-three," he said, looking down at his hands.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not six hundred years old; I'm four hundred and sixty-three. Claire was created before me."

"Oh, sorry. I thought she said your kind was created in pairs, as mates."

"We are. It's a long story, and you should get some sleep." He started toward their room. "Have a good night, okay?"

If they weren't created together, did it mean she was created with a different mate? So why was she with Nate, then? I wasn't sure what all this meant, and I was too tired to try to figure it out.

Not feeling like driving home, I projected myself there and went up to my room. I froze in front of the door to my parents" room. It was closed. My heart felt constricted as I felt the tears well up. I took a step closer and rested my hand on the knob. I wasn't ready to face those ghosts, to face the life they left behind.

I looked at the alarm clock, glowing green atop my nightstand. I pulled my cell phone from my purse and, deciding to get over myself, sent him a text:

Hope you made it home all right.

G'nite.

I threw the phone onto my bed and started to undress on my way to the bathroom, letting my clothes fall on the floor as I went. It didn't matter that I was clean thanks to manifestation; I still felt the need for a shower. It somehow felt as if the dirt were only being hidden by a veil of some sort.

I let the hot water pour over me, washing the weight of the day off. I just wanted to crawl into bed and wished I could crawl into his arms. As I turned off the water I heard the chiming of my phone, alerting me that I had received a text message. I wrapped the towel around me and ran to the bed, leaving wet footprints on the hardwood floor.

Already home. Don't leave me.

I love you.

I let the towel fall on the floor and slipped naked into bed.

I knew I was dreaming the moment I saw him. I had been running away from the dark figure with fiery hair when I saw him by the riverbank. He was wearing only jeans, and his bare back gleamed softly in the moonlight as he stared toward the mountains. I approached him slowly, looking around for the one who had chased me here. When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around him, my hands caressing his chest. His warm skin under my hands felt heavenly.

"I have been waiting for you," he said, his voice muffled. I went around to stand before him, taking in the beauty of his bare skin, the toned muscles that he always kept hidden under clothes.

It was a dream, so I went along with the charade. "I'm sorry I have kept you waiting," I said, lifting my face to him, standing on my tiptoes, trying to reach his face, but he simply rejected me by moving away from me. Startled, I reached for him again. "What's wrong?" I said.

He kept walking away from me, making me follow along. "This is what's wrong. Us. How would you keep this from me?"

Unsure what he was speaking of, I called his name, but he wouldn't stop. Instead, he sped up, making me break into a trot behind him. I caught him by the arm and used my supernatural strength to make him face me.

"I thought you loved me, Jade," he said.

"I do! What are you talking about?" What kind of dream was this? Why wasn't he all over me?

"I'm talking about what you are, Jade."

I froze. Surely he wasn't talking about my being an angel. Then again, this was a dream. It was probably my subconscious expressing what I was truly feeling and what I was afraid would happen. I turned my face to the trees and squinted, trying to see a little better. I could have sworn I saw something or someone move. I kept my gaze there until I was sure we were all alone, but once I turned to face him he was gone.

I walked along the river, unsure what to make of this dream. If he was going to react that way, I really didn't want to tell him, but how could I hide it? Eventually, he would realize I wasn't aging as he was. And how was I going to explain the constant rejection when he wanted more out of this relationship? Sucking blood.

It was as if the air around me brought the words to my head. Nate had said I had to share my divinity with Avan just once and he would be immortal like us, but it would mean that both of us must give up heaven. At the moment, I wasn't even sure what that really meant. Was I still one of them?

If I had been torn before the dream, now it had only made matters worse. I was totally scared of confronting Avan with my little secret.

Things seemed to calm down for a while. It had been over a month since I saw Lilith, and I was beginning to think she had moved on—or at least, that was what I hoped.

Claire and I had kept our training sessions to about three days a week at Falls River Park, around dusk, when we were sure no one would see us. Her patience when it came to teaching was thin to nonexistent, so Nate had taken over that part, explaining everything I needed to know about angels, demons, and heaven and hell. We didn't have a routine for this, so whenever it was just the three of us we would get to talking.

It was liberating to be finally getting the answers to the questions that had been pestering me for some time. I hadn't seen or dreamed about Blake ever since, and that saddened me, but I had to move forward. If he wasn't real, I couldn't give up what I had for a phantom.

Things at school had changed, too. The new Jade didn't seem much interested in patience, so whenever anyone annoyed me, weird things would happen. Amy had started spinning stupid rumors the second Avan and I got back together. One day in the cafeteria, fed up with her crap, I set her tray on fire. Of course, no one knew it was me, because that sort of thing doesn't really show. One minute, she was gossiping away, and the next, flames had engulfed her whole tray and were spreading around the table. They had gone out instantly, and not by my doing. When I had looked at Nate, he scowled at me.

It felt good to see her scramble to her feet and shriek like a two-year-old. Another time, I made a window explode in class, also a few test tubes in chemistry, when Amy"s friends started making comments about me loud enough that I could hear. Too bad there hadn't been something nasty in the test tubes.

But even with all the old and new distractions I had been dealing with the past two months, my grades stayed up.

Avan and I had been doing great. When I wasn't training or with him I would be glued to my computer, looking for anything about sharing divinity. So far, I had found nada. I wondered if he had to bite me or something, but I didn't want to make any mistakes or take any chances. I still hadn't told him the truth about me, so I wasn't completely sure whether I would need to share divinity in the end.

Things had been pretty good between us, actually—so good, in fact, that he had even started mentioning that it was time for me to go over his house and meet his mom. "Make it official," he had said.

I wasn't ready. I would take kicking demon ass over this anytime. But he was persuasive, and against my better judgment, I agreed. The first time I met Mrs. Blackwell, I was scared she wouldn't approve of me. A sixteen-year-old who had just lost her parents and now lived on her own didn't sound too promising as your only child's girlfriend.

I couldn't have been more wrong. She was nothing but sweet and had totally taken me in within the first ten minutes. It felt nice to have a parental figure around—yes, Claire and Nate were always taking care of me, but it just wasn't the same. Hanging out with a real family definitely made me miss my parents, but at the same time, it gave me a little glint of hope that little by little, my life was getting back on track and I wasn't as alone as I had once thought.

I had now gone over to Avan"s house for dinner a few times and even spent some alone time with Mrs. Blackwell, out shopping and having lunch together over the weekends. I knew she started doing this partly because she must have felt terrible about my situation, but as we grew closer it was easy to see, that wasn't the case anymore. It had become natural, and I felt treated as one of her own. I was like a daughter to her now.

I still hadn't told Avan about my secret yet, but I knew I would have to, and soon. I wasn't looking forward to it, though. After my dream—more like a nightmare, perhaps—I had been terrified to confide in him. Would that be the way he would react when he learned my secret? I had been battling with this for quite some time, and what it truly came down to was, if he really loved me, he would just have to accept me for who I was. But what if he didn't? I wasn't ready to lose him, too. But maybe, just maybe, I was worrying for nothing and we would be happy together, forevermore.

Feathermore, I said to myself, and smiled at my own lame joke.

* * *

"Have you heard?" Claire asked as she sat across from me in the cafeteria. Her eyes were wide as she looked between Avan and me. We both looked at each other and just shrugged, having no clue what she was talking about. She took in our surroundings as if to make sure no one would hear. The cafeteria was packed, though. The weather had been cold and drizzly out, and we were all stuck inside. It was stuffy and it felt impossible to breathe.

Two guys on the wrestling team were at the end of our table, but they seemed content to be stuffing their faces and barely noticing anyone else.

"Two kids from school were found dead right behind the sheriff's office." She stared at me as if I were supposed to know what had happened. I let go of Avan's hand and reached for the apple I had in front of me, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"What happened?" Avan said, carefully pushing my legs off his lap and leaning over the table.

"They said some kind of animal got them." She shot me another look. What was she getting at?

I leaned on Avan's shoulder and said, "Well, if an animal got them, why were they right behind the sheriff's office? That sounds strange. It's smack in the middle of town—it's not as if we had bears downtown." No sooner had I said it than the light bulb went on.

That was why Claire was giving me those looks. Someone had done that to them, and even if it was an animal, it wasn't an accident. Someone was trying to send a message. Could it be that Lilith was back?

Avan was shaking his head in disbelief, "How did you found out about it?" he said. "What else are they saying?" He was still shocked and intrigued about the news. He obviously didn't see the connection we had made.

It must be nice to be blind to all this. How I wished none of it were true. Then maybe, just maybe, my parents would still be alive.

I looked at Avan, envying him for how naive he was of the unknown, of what was happening right under his nose. But now more than ever I was determined to keep him in the dark. He didn't need all this. And if he knew that I may be the reason for all these new deaths, he would never accept who I was. It was too dangerous.

Claire looked at him and tried to play it off as she reached over for a slice of my apple. "Ah, I was at the front office filling in some paperwork when the deputies showed up. They didn't really care that there were other students in there; they just got to the point." She turned to me again, looked in my eyes, and then looked down at her hands. There was more to it than just that—I could see it in the way she was now avoiding my eyes. Without looking at me, she said, "They may be coming to ask you a few questions, Jade. They think it may be the same animal that attacked your parents." She didn't look at me again.

"And what could I help them with?"

Avan took my hand in his and gave me a faint smile. He knew that talking about that day was something I didn't like to do. I hadn't really talked about it at all, actually.

"Don't worry," he said. "They must want a description of the animal, just so if anyone sees it again they shoot it dead." He seemed so sure of his answer, it made me feel the slightest hope that he might be right.

Two kids were dead because of me. I tightened my hand around Avan's. What would keep Lilith away from the one good thing that remained in my life? From the one thing I loved? It was actually a surprise that her warning came with random kids from school and not Avan. Maybe she was keeping him for the grand finale.

I shook my head. I could not allow those sorts of thoughts in my mind. It was a relief when the bell rang. It was imperative that I talk to Claire, and I had to do it now. I kissed Avan and sent him on his way. He gave me a long, slow look and made sure I was fine before walking away in the crowded, noisy cafeteria.

"We need to talk," I said as I grabbed Claire's arm and pulled her along toward the cafeteria restroom. After making sure there was no one in the stalls, I said, "Why did she go for those kids? She could have gone for Avan." It was hard to say, because doing so made everything suddenly, starkly real.

She pulled a paper towel off and wiped the counter, then sat on it and started to play with her nails, taking off the nail polish she had just put on last night. "She's sending a warning. If she got Avan, it wouldn't be fun anymore. There wouldn't be a game for her to play." She looked at me in the mirror. "But she'll be coming for him sooner or later, and I would hate to see that happen, Jade."

I swallowed the large lump in my throat. Thinking about it was one thing, but for someone else to agree made it tangible.

Claire had been right; in the middle of music class, two deputies came into the room, looking for me. A few kids snickered as if I was in trouble and had been sent to the principal's office. I followed the two young men outside and leaned against the wall as the big guy closed the door behind him. The other one had curly red hair and looked barely out of high school. Curly pulled a pocket notebook out of his trouser pocket and opened it.

"Good afternoon, Miss Lovecraft," he said without looking up at me. He just scribbled on the small piece of paper.

I hadn't even said anything. What could he possibly be writing down?

"Do you mind if we call you Jade?" he asked, his eyes rising and meeting mine. He waited for my nod before he went back to scribbling.

It is my name, idiot, I thought to myself. I wondered whether this was his first interview. It seemed as if he had spent the past couple of days practicing all the clichéd mannerisms in the book.

"Did you know . . ." He fumbled with his notebook, looking for the information. This was going to be kind of fun, in a gruesome sort of way.

I looked over at the big guy. He had a military haircut and aviator glasses on. He was sort of cute, tall and muscular, if you were into those things.

". . . Melanie Kats and Jeffrey King?"

I stared at him. Was he for real? They came to school here—of course I knew them, even if I never spoke to them. We lived in a rather small town, after all. "Um, yeah, we all know each other around here." I was never the sassy type, but there was just nothing I could do for them. They were putting all their attention into an animal when the threat was a demon. Would I ever get used to this new world I was living in? Angels and demons, and who knew what other supernatural creatures were crawling about?

"Were you friends with them?" he asked as he scrawled something else onto his little pad.

"No, just know them from here." I rolled my eyes, but he was already writing some more and didn't catch it. I could tell the big guy was getting antsy, too.

"What do you know about their deaths?"

I put my right foot up against the wall and played with the hem of my skirt. "Not much more than the rumors going around."

He stopped writing and looked at me, his glasses riding midway down his nose. He looked the way a psychologist might while awaiting a patient's answer. "And those would be what exactly?"

"That an animal killed them, just the way my parents were killed." My voice was getting louder and angrier. This was not something I was in the mood to be talking about. I didn't need another reminder of how they were dead because of me.

"Yes, it is very peculiar that an animal would strike again this way, especially so close to such busy streets." He stared into my eyes as if he was implying something. Something I couldn't really catch. I mean, they couldn't think I was responsible for this, could they? There was no way!

I stared back at him, not backing down. If he had anything to say, he should just spit it out. And yet, it caught me by surprise when he did. "Where were you last night?"

I stared at him blankly. Was I really a suspect all of a sudden? This could not be happening. "The same place I am every night: my house."

The big guy finally spoke. "Seems there's nothing else we need to know from you, ma'am. Appreciate your time." He opened the door to the classroom, and I ducked under his outstretched arm and quickly disappeared inside.

I sat back down in my seat and could feel everyone looking at me, especially Claire. Her gaze burned through me, as if trying to steal the memories of what had just occurred. I didn't return her gaze—I was too busy trying to figure out how I had gotten to this place. Could they really be questioning me as a suspect? Did everyone else in town think I not only murdered those kids but did in my own parents as well? This was not good.

Everyone's eyes followed me all the way to the parking lot. And even though I couldn't actually hear them, I had no illusions about what they were thinking. They all thought I was some kind of murderous psycho running around town.

* * *

Rumors spread fast in this town, and it started getting really bad, really soon. When I went into town people would actually cross to the other side of the street when they saw me coming, or they would duck into a store.

I could not believe it had come to this. I had to put an end to all the rumors and cleanse myself of what they alone had created me to be in their heads.

The single benefit to everyone thinking I was a killer was the police car constantly following me, which hopefully meant that Lilith wouldn't come near me. Instead, she would get bored and cause another distraction, absolving me of all the rumors and suspicions that I was a monster.

I wondered why heaven wasn't helping me right about now. Surely they knew up there about everything that was going on with me. They knew what I had been through with my parents" death and about Lilith being after me to kill me, and yet, they didn't feel the need to intervene?

I started feeling deserted. They had let all this happen and left me to deal with it all. Did they even care? The more thought I gave to it, the less worthy of them I found myself to be. They were obviously not interested in me anymore. All I had now was Avan, and I hadn't even told him the truth about myself, so maybe I didn't even have him after all. I felt lonely, even with Claire and Nate always flanking me, since they were always keeping things from me and saying it was for the best.

I found myself not being able to trust anyone.

I kept coming to the same decision every time: tell Avan the truth and get it over with. If he wasn't going to accept who I was, then I needed to know sooner rather than later. If I was going to let myself fall and be with him, I needed to know I wasn't doing it all in vain.

Claire's eyes went from the police "escort" in the rearview mirror to the speedometer. "It's a really bad idea, Jade," she said. "You don't know how he's going to react or what he may do. What if he decides to expose us? It could turn bad in all kinds of ways."

She always knew how to kill any spark of hope I had. I knew she was just being logical—something I should try once in a while—but I just hated lying to him. I didn't respond to her. Instead, I just stared out the window at the buildings going by.

"What the hell?" I followed her gaze to the rearview mirror. The police cruiser had its lights on.

"Is he pulling us over?" I asked, leaning over and checking the speed. We were inside the limit, so what did they want? The siren whooped once, and the cruiser sped around us.

Claire and I looked at each other, partly in excitement that we had lost our tail for the moment, but dreading what it might mean. Had Lilith struck again?

Fear seeped onto my bones as I thought of who her latest victim might be. I grabbed the cell phone from the center console and dialed Avan's number.

Voice mail.

"Jade?" Claire said. "Are you all right? You look pale . . ."

***

I tossed the covers off and let them fall over the side of the bed. Sleep was eluding me as usual, and I was beginning to get frustrated. The coldness of the room made me shiver. That's when I saw the window curtains billowing in the breeze.

What the . . .? I stayed in bed while I surveyed the room. I was still alone, but I had not left the window open.

I hurried to the window, closed it, and checked the latch. It was working properly. Outside, a thick fog had crawled over the ground, making the trees look as if they were floating over clouds. The moon above shone brightly.

I pulled on Avan's T-shirt—glow-in-the-dark Sebastian the ibis, the University of Miami's football team mascot. I tried to pull it down farther, but it reached only halfway down my thighs.

I lay back in bed. Today's earlier scare, that Avan might be Lilith's latest victim, still burned in the back of my mind. I had tried his phone a few times to no avail, and Claire and I were heading over to his house when he finally called back. A wave of relief had washed over me with the realization that—for now, anyway—he was alive and safe. But we needed to come up with a plan, because sooner or later, she would go for him.

The darkness in the room felt as if it were somehow haunting me. I felt threatened by it. If I closed my eyes, I might never get the chance to open them again. My throat felt swollen as I sat on the edge of the bed, feet dangling.

Why couldn't I just fall asleep already? I had been up most of the past four nights, dozing off from time to time but then waking up in a panic. The only time I managed to fall asleep fully, usually on the weekend, was in the early dawn, when the sun started shining in. Even leaving all the lights on in my room didn't help—there was still a distinct fear in the back of my mind. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was turning into a vampire—if there were such a thing. Something was keeping me up at night, and I had to figure out what it was.

I walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light switch, and the lights flickered shortly before coming on. I stared at myself in the mirror, looking for any trace of what could be keeping me up, my hands holding the sides of the cool white porcelain. I turned the water on and cupped my hands under the stream that splashed over them. The coldness of the water made my hands ache. I wasn't sure I wanted to splash my face anymore, but it seemed to have a calming effect. I lingered at the door, with my hand on the switch. Something about the darkness made me uneasy, but I couldn't quite figure it out.

I slowly pulled my hand away and went back to the bed, leaving the light on. Maybe it would help a little and this time I would be able to sleep. I looked at the bedside clock. It was 4:45 a.m. After making sure the alarm was still set for six, I got back in bed.

I lay there staring at the ceiling for some time, watching the shadows of the naked trees outside dance carelessly in the wind.

My thoughts slowly moved on to happier topics, thinking about Avan and how much I wanted to be in his arms right this instant. I smiled at the thought that tomorrow was the last day of school before winter break.

In an attempt to keep Avan away from Lilith, we had decided to plan a little road trip. We were leaving Saturday morning. Avan's mom was going to Miami for Christmas and was set on taking him with her, but he made it clear that he didn't like that idea at all. It had taken some convincing, but he had done it: he was allowed to stay in town and spend Christmas with Nate and Claire and me. I was pretty sure Mrs. Blackwell felt a little bad about my staying on my own and must have figured I could use his support right about now. And it was true. I tried to keep it in the back of my mind, to think about it only when necessary, but the holidays were going to be really hard.

We made some plans to go camping—if the weather allowed, of course. Claire had researched places close to town where we could rent a cabin if the cold was too unbearable, although I kind of enjoyed having it as an excuse to cuddle with Avan.

We had seen a cabin that was totally gorgeous. It even had a name: Water's Edge. The three-bedroom cabin was on a quiet mountain dirt road. It got its name because it sat at the edge of White Oak Creek. I could already imagine the sound of the water rushing by, and that alone was enough to sway my decision—there, I just might get the sleep that seemed to be evading me. The pictures on the Web site did the rest. Not only was the scenery breathtaking, but the inside of the cabin looked like something out of a fancy home decor magazine.

Its cathedral ceilings and oak hardwood floors gave it a homey feel, and the deck with stone fireplace, rocking chairs, and Jacuzzi—which I couldn't wait to use—was the perfect place to let go and relax. The place also had a pool table, a big kitchen that I couldn't imagine any of us using, a living room with big leather couches, and a large flat-screen TV hanging on the wall.

I felt myself getting even more excited than before and realized it would be almost impossible for me to fall asleep now. But somehow, at some point, I must have.

* * *

I walked outside to the backyard, where I saw Daddy standing next to the big barbecue grill. Mom was kneeling in the dirt, planting a bed of her lovely painted trilliums. The sun was out, with not a cloud in the sky, and there was no other noise except for the grill sizzling and a rather boisterous finch chirping in the maple tree. I walked slowly, not wanting to make a sound, afraid I would disturb the scene in this dream of mine and it all would go away. I just wanted to be able to appreciate them doing something as simple as gardening and barbecuing, since in real life I would never see them do anything ever again.

I sat on the top step of the deck and rested my elbows on my knees. I cradled my face in my hands and watched them. The trees were dancing in the gentle breeze that came from the woods. Dad turned around and started in my direction, looking at Mom and asking if she would like a little more sangria. Then he looked up and saw me, although, by the look on his face, he looked as if he had seen a ghost rather than his own daughter. He stopped in his tracks and gasped, letting go of the metal tongs he had been carrying in his hand. They made a loud clattering noise as they hit the round white stepping-stones.

Mom turned around at the commotion and went pale. I looked behind me. Surely they wouldn't look this way because of me, right? I stood up and took a couple of steps down toward the yard.

" _What's wrong?" I said. "You guys look as if you just saw a ghost!" I giggled, mostly because I was feeling rather uncomfortable at the way they were staring at me. Neither of them said a word. Mom went over to Dad, who put his arms around her in a protective way. A tear started rolling down her cheek. "What's wrong, Mom?" I asked, and moved toward her. They stiffened, so I stopped._

" _You're not supposed to be here," Mom said. "Why are you here, Jade?" Her voice sounded worried, as if I were doing something illegal by dreaming about them._

" _It's just a dream," I said. "I'm dreaming about you because I miss you both so much." I ran toward them, not even caring that they actually took a few steps back. I kept right on going and hugged them both. The tears had started, and I just wanted to be with them, even if it was in a stupid dream._

I felt their shaky arms embrace me, their scents filling up my lungs with lovely memories of happier days.

" _You are not supposed to be here, princess," Dad said, kissing the top of my head._

I shook off his words. It was my dream, and I could do whatever I wanted in it. As if he heard what I was thinking, he continued, "It is not a dream and you really need to go before they find out." I pulled away this time, drying my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. What was he talking about? I glanced at Mom, hoping to get a different reading from her, but I didn't. She put her hands on my face and kissed my forehead.

" _You need to go back now," she said. "You can't stay here too long, or you will never find your way back home, honey."_

I closed my eyes. More tears came, making everything look blurry. "What are you talking about?" I said. "This is my dream and I can stay here as long as I want to, Mom. I don't want to leave. I miss you." I could barely understand myself through all the sobs.

Hearing a faint chime in the distance, I looked over to the thick woods to make sense of the music.

" _It's time to go now, princess."_

I didn't want to. They held my hands and smiled as the forest behind them started to fade, and gradually they, too, began to grow indistinct. I held their hands even tighter, as if that would keep them with me, but now there was only darkness. It had no beginning and no end. Darkness all around me, until it was both me and the familiar chime in the background.

I leaned over and turned off the alarm, quickly sliding my arm back under the covers, for it was still strangely cold in the room. I looked at the window, and to my surprise, it was open again.

I went over to it and closed it, pressing the latch even harder. From here I could see Claire's car in the driveway. I called after her, expecting her to be somewhere in the house, but no response came. I went straight into the bathroom for a morning shower I didn't feel like taking.

The last day of school before winter break was a joke and had been for the past three years. We never got around doing any schoolwork, since the teachers seemed more excited by the prospect of two weeks" freedom than any of the students did. Ms. Nash hadn't even shown up for lit class and was probably already in a city far away, enjoying one of those pink drinks she liked to talk about. The cafeteria was rather empty, as many had skipped school or left early, ready to start the partying.

Avan and I were sitting on the same side of the table, facing each other with our legs on either side of the bench. Mine rested on top of his as we talked about tomorrow and the rest of the week in the mountains. Here and there, whenever Miss Fern wasn't looking, I stole a quick kiss from him. She had once seen us by the lockers, lost in a long, lingering kiss, and interrupted it by clearing her throat and serving us with detention slips. She said how inappropriate it was and how disrespectful of the other students. Of course, nobody really cared about it except maybe for Amy, but that only made it that much sweeter.

"Have you seen Amy today?" I asked Avan, looking around the cafeteria.

He thought about it a moment and said, "To be honest, I haven't seen her in a few days."

Another one of Lilith's victims? I doubted it—if she had gone missing or had been found murdered, it would have been the talk of the school.

Claire and Nate had skipped school today to get all our things ready for tomorrow, pretending to go into town to "buy" warmer clothes, food, sleeping bags, and some board games and DVDs. We had allowed Avan to pay for gas on this trip since everything else was taken care of, even though we hadn't had to spend a dime. Still, it went well with the rest of the charade.

"I need to drop my mom off at the airport by six," he said, "so I was thinking of maybe coming to get you after. We could grab some dinner in town? Maybe catch a movie?" His face was inches away from mine, and with every word he spoke I could feel his warm breath caress my face.

"Sure. Sounds like a plan," I said, feeling almost out of breath, drawing even closer to him and running my hand through his wild, dark hair. I was about to kiss him when we were interrupted.

"Avan!" That grating high-pitched voice meant she hadn't been a victim of Lilith's wrath after all. She looked at him, pretending that I didn't even exist.

"I'm throwing the party of the year at my house, and you should totally come," she said. "It's gonna be fabulous!"

She kept looking at him as if the appropriate response would be for him to jump up and down with joy. But he simply grabbed the green flyer she was handing out, and set it on the table.

"Awesome," she said. "I can't wait to see you there! It starts at seven." She flipped her hair in that annoying way she had perfected, and strutted over to the next table.

Avan crumpled the flier into a ball and tossed it into the garbage can that was almost ten feet away, nailing it.

* * *

That evening, he picked me up a little before eight. The nights were beginning to get much colder now, and I had needed to bundle up, making a complete hash of my plan to look sexy.

I had decided, with some help from Claire, to wear my black leggings with a plaid skirt over them, a long-sleeved black V-neck shirt, my thick black trench coat, a scarf, and knee-high leather boots. Okay, maybe I did look a little bit hot still.

When I walked into the living room, where he was waiting for me, he stumbled to his feet, his mouth slightly open as he took me in. The outfit appeared to be a success after all.

I giggled under my breath and reached behind him for my purse.

"You look great, babe," he said as he gave me his arm. "Ready?"

I locked my arm around his and let him lead me out the door.

Neither of us was hungry, so we decided to skip dinner and catch a movie—popcorn and a soda would fill me up just the same. There was nothing very exciting playing at the single movie theater in town, but then, we weren't feeling especially picky.

We made our way up the aisle. He walked in front of me up the steps and pulled me to the last row, and we sat in the middle of the row, with a perfect view of the screen. He settled into his seat and put the large soda in the armrest cup holder, then set the bucket of popcorn on my lap and grabbed a handful.

For a Friday night, it was pretty empty. There were couples scattered here and there, and a handful of people sitting alone. I figured that everyone who was anyone must be at Amy Crayhill's party.

I won't deny it: part of me wanted to go and have a great time like any other kid in school rather than be an outcast, treated as if I had the plague. Even though the rumors about me had proved false and I was cleared of all suspicion, people still kept me at a distance. I wasn't about to make a fool of myself, though. The second I set foot in Amy's house, people would start talking about it until word of mouth reached her. I could just see her so vividly, stomping her way over to me, yelling a little, embarrassing me only to kick me out, and making a huge scene for everyone to talk about for the next couple of days.

The movie ended up being a real tearjerker, and by the end of it I was bawling. I hadn't let Avan see me cry when my parents died, but here I was, weeping over some stupid movie. He squeezed me with the arm he had kept around my shoulder throughout the whole movie. He lifted my chin to face him, and I looked up into his eyes, as if I could see through them and into his soul. I didn't want to lose him. I loved him too much.

The pull of the energy between us was almost visible. There was an undeniable connection, and I knew that it ran deeper than the mere fact that I, apparently, had voluntarily fallen from heaven for him. There were so many changes taking place in my life, so much which had been sacrificed. I didn't want him to be one of them. I would do whatever it took to keep him safe, to keep him from running away. But then again, was there anything I could do about that?

His lips parted as he tried to say something, but I wouldn't let him. I smothered his words with a kiss. My fingers were in his curls, pressing him against me, my tongue entwining with his. His arm dropped to the small of my back and pulled me closer against him. This time my back started burning, letting me know just how close I was to giving myself away. The kiss deepened, his hands gliding around the sides of my body. I felt him groan softly as our tongues seemed to merge. The stinging between my shoulders grew sharper.

We were both out of breath when I pulled away. My lips felt scorching hot and swollen. I took a few deep breaths, letting the pain recede until it was nothing but a minor ache. I felt as if we were the only people in the world. Everything around us was blurry and out of focus, like an impressionist painting.

A bright light shone on us from the aisle. The usher had caught us making out. I buried my head in Avan's chest, embarrassed, while he apologized. I wondered how long it had been since the movie ended. It felt as if only a minute had gone by. He handed me my coat, and I slid the leather strap of my purse over my shoulder. He held my hand as we went out into the chilly night.

We sat in the car without talking, waiting for the heater to warm us up. Even inside the car, our breath fogged. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and was glad to see I wasn't the only one grappling with my inner beast. He looked deep in thought.

Outside, a group of college students walked past our car, knocking on the window and making obscene gestures.

I was afraid of where I wanted to take our relationship next, knowing the full extent and the terrible finality of the consequences that the choice would entail. Somehow, though, right now it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered. When I fell from heaven, no one came looking for me to take me back. No one did a double take when I went missing. I obviously wasn't as important to anyone up there as Claire and Nate made it seem. Avan was all I had left, and I loved him to pieces. I wanted to be with him no matter what the risks were.

We drove in silence to my house, feeling a little awkward for some reason. When we finally got there he put the car in park but didn't kill the engine, instead letting its purr fill the silence. I didn't want to spend the night alone, and I felt uneasy knowing he would be alone as well. But asking him to stay screamed of desperation. He would most likely get the wrong impression, and there was nothing I could do about that at the moment.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked as he wrapped my hand in his.

I thought about it for a minute and then shifted my weight to face him. Even here in the darkened car, he managed to leave me breathless.

He stared intently, waiting for me to proceed, but I couldn't. I shouldn't.

"What would you do if I turned out to be someone different?"

"What do you mean?" His eyelids scrunched.

"Would you still love me?"

"Jade, what are you talking about?"

Why isn't he just answering the question! I searched his eyes, hoping that somewhere I could find the answer I was looking for, but nothing came.

"I—I don't know," he finally replied. "It depends, I guess."

I nodded in acknowledgment as the red flag waved right in front of me. Letting go of his hand, I opened the car door, and the chill of the night licked my face and began to seep into me. "Good night," I said. Before he could say anything else, I closed the door and ran up the driveway and into the house.

After I slammed the door and heard the roar of his engine speeding away, I fell to the ground. He would never accept me for who I was. It was all in vain, I had fallen in love with someone who wouldn't love the real me back. After the frustration ceased and I was able to think again, I looked around the house. It was empty, dark, and cold—just like my soul.

I dragged my feet up the stairs, and this time I opened the door that led to my past, to everything I had once had and loved. The scent of vanilla floated in the air, wrapping around me and bringing me down to the shattered shell that I truly was.

I stood at the door for a moment, taking in the dark room. My hand found the switch, and the lights blazed on. The bed was perfectly made, and the whole room was immaculate, no doubt thanks to Claire's cleaning team. I walked in, grazing my fingertips against the dresser with its perfumes and colognes neatly set in a bamboo basket. I picked Mom's favorite perfume and sprayed it on my left arm, then got Dad's favorite cologne and sprayed it on my right arm. I smelled one and then the other, both of them together. I started to break down. I could feel my already shattered soul cracking into ever smaller pieces.

Being in their room, surrounded by their things, made it all sink in: they were truly gone. But as much as I tried to move on, to go on with this new life I had, they were always present in my mind. I lay down on their bed, in their picture-perfect room. I hugged the pillow and allowed myself to let go. The tears came easily, and hearing my own sobs made it even more painful.

I sprang suddenly awake on the bed. My head felt heavy and thick. It took me a moment to realize where I was. The noise that had woken me was there again. Footsteps. I lifted the blankets off me and tiptoed to the door. Whoever was in my house was getting closer. I hid behind the door and waited.

The footsteps stopped at the entrance to my parents" room. I listened intently, but there was nothing, yet I could feel its presence.

Manifest! My own inner voice told me. I concentrated and felt the weight of my dad's .357 Magnum revolver in my hand. Through the crack, I saw a person take a step into the room. I closed my eyes, gathering the strength I needed for what would come next. Before I could change my mind I moved in front of the door, holding the gun up, ready to fire if needed.

I was alone in the room. After willing all the lights in the whole house to come on, I peered onto the hallway. Nothing. I searched the house but could find no trace that anyone had been here. I was losing my mind. It was now official. Seeing things that were not there? What was wrong with me?

The microwave showed that it was 2:37 am. I was starving—popcorn and root beer didn't seem to have enough staying power. I pulled a bucket of chocolate cookie dough from the freezer and turned on the oven. While the cookies baked, I turned on the TV and flicked to the cartoon channel. It would be a perfect way to keep me from thinking of someone lurking about in my house.

I ran up the stairs two at a time, afraid someone might still be in here somehow, and grabbed my cell phone from Mom's nightstand. I had one text from Claire, wondering how the movie had been.

"It was a cry-me-a-river kind of movie.

I think someone was in my house.

See you tomorrow."

I hadn't made it back to the couch when the doorbell rang, making my heart jump. I walked to the entrance, clutching the manifested gun, and looked through the peephole.

"What the hell are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack!" I yelled as I swung the door open.

Claire walked in and closed the door behind her. She didn't smile or even look at me. She just used her supernatural speed around the house. When she finally sat down next to me on the couch, she grabbed one of my cookies and pointed at the TV.

"Oh, I love this one!" she said. "It's the one where he falls in love with the female cat and does all these stupid things to get her attention, but then—"

"Thanks, Claire," I said. I really don't need you to tell me what it's about. I've seen it as many times as you have."

"Well, someone is a little snappy tonight," she said, and wolfed down half the cookie.

"Well, let's see, shall we? My boyfriend may never accept who I am, someone is trying to kill me, and—oh, yes, that's right, let's not forget—someone was here!" My raised voice carried throughout the house.

"What happen with Avan?"

"Nothing. It's not important."

She took a long look at me, and she knew. It was best to let me be. "Whoever was here was one of us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, you know—a good guy."

Then what the hell was a good guy doing creeping around my house! I wondered if it was the stranger I kept seeing, the one who had been on my front door—or whom I had imagined there, anyway. I kept seeing him randomly around town. It almost seemed as if he was stalking me. I had to wonder whether he was in cahoots with Lilith.

It was time to go on our little vacation, but we didn't need to bring danger to another community, so we decided to go looking for an empty spot over on the mountains—someplace that wouldn't be frequented by humans. I decided to go. I needed the time alone to think and reflect on everything that had been going on.

I wasn't completely sure where Avan and I stood now, but I didn't care. He was never going to accept me. He was a lost cause, and there was nothing I could do about it. This trip was only to keep him safe. Lilith may still want to use him against me, and I could never live with myself if anything happened to him.

I flew for hours and was growing tired when I found a large clearing at the foot of a mountain, which meant it could be easily accessible by humans. It seemed pretty deserted at the moment. I hadn't seen a single person for several miles. I circled the spot and, satisfied no one was around, manifested a large cabin. Not just any cabin, though—this was a two story chalet built of beautifully shaped logs and stones. There was a veranda on the first floor, with a few white rocking chairs for some late-night hot cocoa. The second floor had a wraparound balcony of small logs. Smoke rose from the chimney. It was time to go get the gang and explore the house.

A flock of birds flanked me and flew with me. From the bits and pieces I remembered from biology class, one of the advantages of flocks, especially in closed habitats such as a forest, was that the multiple eyes provided valuable early detection of predators. It was nice that even when I hadn't called them, they rallied to protect me.

The smaller birds had started dropping off as they grew tired, but the ravens and two eagles stayed with me the whole way. As I made my descent, so did they.

* * *

By the time we all made it back to the cabin it was night, and there was a peculiar darkness around the forest. Maybe I hadn't picked out the best spot after all. An eerie white fog covered the ground, hugging the tree trunks and hiding the steps to the cabin. As everyone wandered off to choose rooms and check out the place, I looked out the window by the front door. The ravens were waiting faithfully in the big bare tree across the clearing. The eagles had come over to the veranda and were perched on the railings on either side of front porch steps.

I saw Avan"s approaching reflection in the window glass. In his mind, nothing had changed. He couldn't see the choice he had unknowingly made yesterday. He wrapped his arms around me, and his hands slid all the way to my belly button, where his fingers intertwined and pulled me back against him. I didn't fight it. I let him believe that everything was okay. It was late. I had been flying for quite some time, and the warmth of his body acted almost like a sedative. He crouched and put his left arm on the back of my knees and picked me up.

Just then Claire and Nate were walking in with a box in their hands. "I got a board game," Claire said, shaking it in front of us.

"Jade's tired," Avan said. "I think we're just going to call it a night." He looked at me, waiting to see if he had spoken too soon, but it was true: I was beat.

It took me about four tries to find the mattress that felt just right. By the time Avan got done with his shower, my show of magic was over. We stayed up for a little bit, talking about nothing at all, and as the yawns kept creeping up on me, he leaned over for a kiss. That one simple movement alone made my whole body wake up—he had fully charged me.

My hand sought the back of his head, my fingers curling and twining themselves in his hair as I pulled him closer. His weight shifted, and I pulled him on top of me. I expected him to put on the brakes as he had been doing lately, but he didn't. In fact, he kissed me even more passionately as one of his hands cradled my face and the other slid down onto my leg.

Everything became hazy as his hand slid around my thigh and then went to my hips, pressing me against him. The excitement was making my wings start tingling, wanting to push their way through, but I couldn't allow it, and not when Lilith would be able to find us so easily.

I slowly pulled away from him. "I—I'm sorry," I said.

He was still hovering above me when he tilted his head and kissed my forehead. He had been hoping for a different outcome. I wished for it, too, but I couldn't do it, not until he accepted what I was.

Unlike last night, sleep came easily. I curled up on the bed with my back against him, and he lay wrapped around me, his breath on the back of my neck sending shivers through my body.

* * *

I looked around, and all I could see was the bright white fog, as if I were standing on a cloud. It was warm and very bright. I tried to manifest sunglasses, but none came. I started walking, with nothing around me but the fog and the clear blue sky. Suddenly, I tripped over something and lost my balance. Just that fast, my wings sprouted before I went sprawling, and with two powerful beats, I was standing on my feet again, never having hit the ground. I searched below me for whatever had made me trip. I couldn't find anything at first, just fog, and there was no ground beneath it, just more fog. When I was about to give up the search, a shiny object a few paces to the left caught my eye.

Drawing closer, I could see that it was a sword. I looked along the sharp edge and followed the engraving that ran down the blade, all the way down to the rain guard, which bore a jet black stone held in place by silver snakes. Then, looking more closely at the hilt, I gasped and took a quick step back—for there was a hand still wrapped around it. Nothing moved, and no one came after me. I stepped tentatively forward again, and the fog dissipated enough that I could see the boy. He had dark brown hair and full lips, and his eyes were closed. He wore black trousers, and his muscular chest was bare. Then, behind him, I saw the wings. They were black as coal. I looked down at the fallen angel, wondering why he should be lying here, when I saw the wound low on his abdomen. A thin line of congealing blood ran down to a dark crimson puddle beneath him.

I looked around once again for anyone—or anything—still standing. Why was this boy here? Why was he dead? I kept walking in the direction I thought I had come from, only to come upon another fallen angel. His wounds were more severe than the boy's. His throat was sliced open, and he had been stabbed and slashed in several places. He looked as though he had fought hard until the end. Then I came across another body, and another.

I had counted fifteen dead fallen angels when I heard the weeping. I couldn't see from the source, but as I kept walking forward it grew louder, until all of a sudden, as if summoned from the fog, two large golden wings appeared—an angel, kneeling over something a few feet away from me. I approached quietly and was astonished to find Claire, sobbing over the body of a pure angel. He must have died in the same battle that claimed the others. I got closer and put my hand on her shoulder, but she didn't acknowledge me. Could she even see me?

" _Claire, are you okay?" I asked in a shaky voice. She didn't move or look up at me; she just held her hands on the lifeless boy lying on the ground. He had flaxen-blond hair and facial features much like hers, and, like the others I had found, he seemed tall and very muscular. Then, seeing his back, I felt a sudden wave of nausea. His wings had been chopped off. But how could that be? Had the fallen angels done this to him? But... why? Questions whirled through my mind. How had a pure angel been defeated, and why would the fallen ones take his wings? As some kind of ghastly trophy?_

Another pure Angel materialized at Claire's side. He gently put his hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him, sobbing. She asked the older angel, "How could this happen? He was stronger than any of them! And look what they have done to his wings!" She was distraught, and I felt for her. I didn't know who this boy was, but he seemed to be dear to her heart.

The older angel seemed to be taking the death with stoic acceptance. Watching her throw her arms around him, I couldn't help but shed a tear myself. She pressed her lips against the lifeless boy, and I could see the pain she felt at parting. She stood up, and as her wings flared, a look of vengeance filled her eyes.

She gazed down at him and said, "I will not rest until I kill every one of them. Your death will not go unavenged, Shemer, my love." She closed her eyes, and she and the older angel disappeared, leaving me weeping next to Claire's fallen mate. This must have been what Nate had tried to tell me when he said she was over a hundred years older than he. I saw that Shemer, too, had a long, gleaming sword, but its engraving was different, as was the stone embedded in the cross guard. It was an oval-cut diamond, far and away the biggest I had ever seen. I slid the weapon out of his hand and studied it, wondering what the engraving meant. Hearing a noise behind me, I sprang up and whirled about, brandishing the heavy sword. But no one was there. Then, abruptly, everything whirled into blackness.

* * *

I was covered in sweat when I woke up. The question still lingered in my head: why would a fallen angel hack off a pure angel's wings? I knew now that my dreams were not merely dreams but bits and pieces of real life—in this case, from the distant past. I just couldn't make sense of what this one meant. I felt behind me in the bed, and Avan was gone. I pushed the covers off of me with my feet, and to my utter disbelief, there beside me lay Shemer's sword.

"What the hell?" I muttered to myself. Definitely more than a dream. I picked up the sword. It felt much heavier now than it had in the dream. It was actually hard for me to maneuver it.

I could hear laughter outside. I went over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. It took a while for the water to warm up, so while I waited I manifested some comfy but still attractive clothes.

I headed out into the living room, but no one was around. The laughter came again, and I looked out the picture window. They were all outside, throwing the football like a bunch of kids. Avan looked glorious as he tossed it high and long to Nate, who, with his angelic powers, had no problem catching it.

After gently laying the sword on the dining room table, I grabbed my coat from the hanger by the front door and ran outside, petting both eagles before bounding down the steps. The scenery had changed drastically since last night's eerie darkness and white fog. As I stepped onto the ground, a twig broke under my foot, making a strangely loud snap that seemed to reverberate across the clearing. I looked down, picking up my foot, and thought, all that noise for a little twig?

The laughter was gone, and as I looked up, so did everyone else. "Guys?" I called after them, but I couldn't hear a thing. Suddenly, I wished I had the sword with me.

Someone was out there, and yet, I didn't feel threatened by the presence. Still, it paid to be cautious.

I moved slowly and carefully, making as little noise as the forest floor would allow. It was challenging, but I made it all the way around to the back of the stone cabin. There, from the trees behind me, a rustle in the fallen leaves caught my attention. I turned just as a dark figure leaped on top of me.

Falling onto my back, I got my feet up and rolled, launching my attacker all the way across the clearing and against a tree, breaking off a huge limb. Giggles erupted from the unknown adversary and also from behind me, where Nate was clapping as he approached. The figure stood up, and I saw that it was Claire.

"What the hell, you guys!" I yelled. I looked around, but there was no sign of Avan. "Where"s Avan?"

"Went to the stream . . . wanted to see if he could catch a fish for dinner," Claire said between laughs. Very hombre of him."

I shook my head and lunged as if I meant to shove her into another tree.

Claire and I decided to make a quick flight around the perimeter, just to be sure no one was hiking close to us. Nate had offered to go with Claire, but I was faster than either of them in the air and could get the job done faster. The second I took off, I heard the eagles" piercing screams behind me. It brought me comfort to know they were there. Claire wasn't so warm to the idea of my newfound escorts soaring right next to her, as if they might attack us at any moment. They were bigger than any raptor I had ever seen, and their sharp, curved beaks looked as if they could tear flesh with ease.

We had flown about ten minutes and were almost at the cabin when I felt my whole body start to shake. I felt anxious, as if I had better prepare to fight. My wings were failing, losing loft, and then receded completely. The eagles started crying out frantically and rocketed downward after me.

"Claire!" I yelped as I spiraled earthward.

She dove after me, her arms stretched forward, but she was too late. I was already slamming through the treetops, and I could feel branches ripping into my flesh. My screams echoed along with the cries of the eagles, who clamped on to my arms with their sharp talons, trying to ease my fall. I hit a gnarled old tree, which spun me around and made me hit the ground face-first. I heard a crack and felt pain shoot up my arm. I turned onto my back and again shrieked in pain. My arm was probably broken, and I was covered in blood.

I felt Claire's shaky hands on my arm. "Don't worry," she said. It'll heal itself in no time." And so it did. I looked at the gashes and deep lacerations on my battered body, and as I watched they started to close, leaving behind only the dry blood as proof.

I got up, feeling light-headed, and staggered about until Claire grabbed hold of me. My wings shot out, and I crouched on the fallen leaves and pine needles.

"What is happening?" I asked, my eyes begging her for an explanation.

"I don't know!" she said, still holding on to me. "What... what are you feeling?"

"Anxious, I guess. I feel like there's a threat, like I'm in trouble, yet I don't really feel it." I heard the rustle of dead leaves—someone was approaching. I faced the sound and felt Claire's hand tighten on me.

"Relax, it's just Nate." She shot me a wary look, trying to decide whether I could stand upright on my own again.

"I'm okay," I lied as Nate came into view and my wings went back into the warmth of my body.

The second Nate saw my torn clothes and the blood on them, he dashed to my side. "What happened? Who did this to you?" He examined Claire to make sure she hadn't been hurt. Still facing Claire, he asked again, "What happened?"

I started walking back toward the cabin. "I don't really know," I said. "I felt anxious, like I had to fight something that wasn't there. My body started to shake, and then the wings receded. And I still feel the threat, even though no one's around." I saw them exchange a quick glance and wondered what they weren't telling me. Then I realized that Nate was alone. "Where's Avan?" I said, looking into the forest in the direction he had come from.

He sighed and bit his lip—coming from Nate, not a good sign.

We were already at the edge of the clearing when he said, "He never came back from the stream. I was hoping you guys had spotted him."

I stopped. It was impossible. How could he just be gone like that? "Do you think someone . . . took him?" I said. "Lilith?" I shook my head. The idea of Avan being in her hands made me feel suddenly weak. How could this have happened? "What just happened to me—was it related to that?"

Claire nodded solemnly. "You share a bond, formed of your love. When one of you is in trouble, the other feels it as if it were happening to them. You have to go to him—now."

"But . . . how am I supposed to know where he is? Not even Nate could follow him." My voice resonated in the silent woods.

"You'll find him. Your soul will find him. If I were in trouble, Nate could find me in a heartbeat. That's the bond that connects you both. Just focus and let your heart take you to him."

We were already inside the house, and as I walked past I saw the sword lying on the wooden table, gleaming as brightly as it had in my dream. I looked back at Claire. She was staring openmouthed at the table. Nate stood frozen beside her.

"Where . . . Jade, where did you get that!" She stared at her long-dead mate's sword.

Oh, shit. There was no getting out of this one—no making up some lame story to mollify them. I had to tell them the truth. "Um, I had a dream last night. Well, it wasn't a dream dream—more like a piece of history. Just like that dream with you and Lilith. I was holding it before I woke up, and I guess . . . I don't know. It just made the trip back with me somehow."

I started walking around the room. I wanted to hug Claire. She looked as broken as she had in the dream. But I couldn't. I was itching in my core. Here was this threat I couldn't shake off, and I couldn't stop pacing.

"I'm sorry, Claire," I said in a voice much softer than anything I was feeling in that moment.

"That sword is sacred. No one is supposed to have it. The gods should have it locked up. Why . . . why is it here?" Her fingertips stroked the engraving on the blade.

ع ندما ي كون ان حب هو ان م ع ني, ملاك س ن بذل ك م ما

ع ندما ي كون ان حب هو ان م ع ني, ملاك س ن بذل ك م ما

I looked down at the elegant, flowing, indecipherable script.

"What does it mean?" I asked her, trying to still my whirring, manic mind.

"Where love is concerned, an angel will do whatever it takes to get the job done."

A flash of anger shone in her darkening eyes. I knew I had opened a can of worms, and it was about to spill everywhere. She looked up at me.

"You have to go, Jade. He is in trouble."

I walked outside, closed my eyes, and rose up from the porch steps. Seconds later, I was soaring high above the treetops, flanked by the two eagles. It seemed that after my last episode, they weren't taking any chances.

"Let's find him," I said to them, and we went forth. Claire was right: I could feel the bond between us, guiding me to him.

I flew as fast as I could, moving my wings with long, powerful strokes. It wasn't my first time flying solo, but I had never tracked anyone before. And the one I must track was the one I loved—the one who had kept me sane through it all, who had made my life bearable. But with no idea how to find him, all I could do was follow my instincts, just as I had that night in town, when I allowed my being to lead me to him. And if that didn't work, the pull between us was too powerful to ignore—even with my eyes closed I could see my way to him.

A low fog blanketed the town, making it harder to know which way I was headed and whether it was safe to descend. Suddenly, my whole body urged me to land, and like a hawk stooping on a rabbit, I dived. It was an eerie sight. I was behind Bruno's, the only supermarket in town. The fog was thicker than I had expected, so that I could barely see the dark bulk of the building ahead. I quickly realized that this was no ordinary fog—it had been created to obscure whatever was happening, to keep evil deeds hidden from any who might try to interfere.

Retracting my wings from view, I began to walk toward the street. I felt fear creep up under my skin, but I knew that it wasn't mine. It was his fear I was sensing, which only made me more anxious to get to him. I ran the block to the alley where he had been taken—I could see him clearly in my head now. Scanning the street as I drew near the alley, I saw no one around. I jumped, letting my wings deploy and fly me to where he was. This time, my descent trajectory was steeper, so that I landed hard on the ground, crouched like an animal ready to attack.

Before rising to my feet, I lifted my gaze to the person in front of me, shrouded by the fog but still barely visible. I shot up and turned to see Avan, with his back against a fence, terrified. The moment he saw me, his eyes widened. Oh, well, so much for the subtle approach.

His eyes went from my face to the wings. He was probably more frightened at seeing what I was than at whatever had gotten him into this predicament. My wings were out and ready for a fight. I smiled—in the moment, it was the best I could do to try to calm his boggled mind. I had thought a thousand times about how to tell him, how to ease him into the shocking truth of what I was, and when it finally came time, I had done the same thing Claire and Nate had done: showing instead of explaining.

I turned and looked behind me at who had dared to terrorize my beloved. This time, she was perfectly visible. I almost fell down laughing. It was Amy who stood behind me.

"Oh, come on! What, is she flirting you to death?" I laughed at my own lame joke.

Avan shook his head and pointed toward Amy. I turned around, expecting her to make some snotty remark about what a loser I was, when I caught a glimpse of her eyes. No longer their usual brown, they now were a glaring, incandescent crimson.

Lilith, I thought to myself. I had no real proof that she was the one behind this, but something in me told me I had nailed it.

"What do you want?" My voice was as flat as my expression.

She didn't respond. I watched her move closer and suddenly realized that Amy wasn't there anymore. Instead, her body moved woodenly, as if its legs were numb. Her lips were parted slightly, making her look hollow, vacant. She lifted her index finger and pointed straight at Avan, mirroring exactly his own movement from just seconds ago.

"Yeah, well, there is a problem with that. He's not going anywhere with you."

She slowly withdrew her eyes from him and looked at me. Her face and body language were unreadable. She closed her mouth, her expression darkened, and she took a few more steps forward. As she grew closer I stared into those crimson eyes and saw a flash of Amy in them. It came and went so fast, I couldn't even be sure I had seen it, but in that instant I felt terrible for the girl. I hated witnessing what this being was doing to her and her body.

I must admit that I played with the thought of letting her stay possessed. After all, she was awful and arrogant and did deserve some retribution for all her meanness. I knew I wouldn't, though—never mind that if it were the other way around, she would have reveled in my helplessness and done nothing to help me.

"Be careful, Jade," Avan said from behind me.

His voice was much closer than I expected. I needed to get Amy away from him. I couldn't let her get physically close enough to be able to hurt him or do God knew what to him.

I took a few steps forward, hoping that she would back up, but she didn't cede an inch of ground. She sprang and was almost on top of me. I shoved her backward. She stumbled but quickly regained her balance and raised her arm, palm out toward me. She flung what I can best describe as an energy ball, hitting me in the chest and throwing me against the wall behind me. A mortal would surely have died from the impact. I really needed to get Avan out of here.

He tried to help me get up, but I put my hand up to stop him. I could do this on my own. I was here to save him, not the other way around. I got up and came at her once again. This time, I wouldn't be the one flying around. The thought stopped me in mid stride. It lingered in my head as I realized that if I were to use my strength or any other power on her, I could really hurt her. After all, Amy's body was still mortal—if I really unloaded on her, I would most likely kill her.

I tried to scare her off, first by creating balls of fire on my hands. And then, when that failed miserably, I let her have it with my sonic scream—at least, that's how I had come to think of it.

"Cover your ears, Avan," I said. "You don't want to hear this."

The ravens came first. They flew in a tight pattern above me as I held my hands above my head, making them wait for my command. I had never actually given them an order, but I figured that since they always did what I had been thinking, they may actually listen if I spoke to them under my breath. "Do not harm her," I murmured. "Keep her entertained while we make our escape. I'll be back for her." I lowered my hands, and they went for her, wings flared, driving her to the ground as she batted in vain at them.

I walked up to Avan and grabbed his hand and, without giving him any warning or mental preparation, transported us right into my living room. Claire was sitting on the couch. She gave a little jump when we appeared. Nate rushed in from the kitchen. "What happened?"

"Amy happened," I said. "She's been possessed or something. I'll bet you anything Lilith is behind it. The birds are keeping her busy, but I have to go back. Should I bring her back here? I can't just leave her on the streets like that." I ducked into the garage and came back with a coil of rope around my shoulder.

"What do you care?" Claire said. "Let her be miserable for a while. See if she'll bother you then."

She had never liked Amy, not as a human and not as an enemy. Claire thought the evil in her was too acute and she was a lost case, but I couldn't just turn my back on her. This time, at least, the evil wasn't her doing.

"She can do a lot of damage if we don't contain her, Claire. That isn't Amy right now. We don't know what she'll do, and I can't use my powers on her." I lowered my voice, not wanting Avan to hear. "I would just kill her if I did."

Claire's exasperated sigh let me know she agreed with me.

I looked at Avan. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. "Avan?"

He didn't look up, but just shook his head.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I know it's a lot for you to take in. Trust me—it was hard for me, too." I sat on the coffee table in front of him. "I'm sorry you had to find out about it this way. I meant to tell you; I really did, but..." I let my head fall. "I was afraid you wouldn't accept me."

I wouldn't blame him. All I kept doing was bringing more trouble down on his head. I put my hands around his face. "You shouldn't be in the middle of all of this." I let my hand fall to my side, and he took it. I didn't dare look him again, "I have to go now, but stay with them, and you'll be safe."

In that very moment, I understood just how selfish I had been all along. He deserved better than me. He deserved a shot at a normal life. I wanted to slide my arms around his neck and pull him to me and kiss his lips, to feel the energy coursing between us and get lost in our touch. Instead, I was back in the alley.

The birds had ceased the attack but stayed close by, perched on the, the power lines and the fence across the alley, keeping a clear view of the two of us. I wasn't too sure what to do with Amy. After all, she did have powers, and all I had to bind her with was this stupid rope I had brought.

"So now that he's gone, anything else you want?" I asked hesitantly. I really didn't care what she was after. Ultimately, although I really didn't understand why Lilith was so dead set on me in the first place, I knew that her intentions came down to one thing:

Me.

Dead.

Amy crumpled to the ground, hitting her head against the hard concrete pavement with an audible thud. Instinctively, I urged her forward and pulled her limp body into my arms and checked her throat for a pulse. She was breathing. A thin line of blood flowed down her cheek. I traced it back to its source: a pretty big a cut on her scalp. I was no doctor, but it looked bad. She needed help, and she needed it fast.

I cradled her in my arms and stood up. I was about to transport us both to my house when a dark silhouette appeared where the alley met the street. It made its way toward us. I froze, knowing I had been caught. I couldn't project myself. The voice in my head went on a wild rampage, telling me to run, that I wasn't safe. And then it said that familiar name: _Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke_. I wobbled backward, almost tripping over my feet. Amy gave a soft moan.

"Your skills are better than I had expected." Lilith's voice floated on the breeze to my ears. "Nothing I do seems to hand me what I desire."

"And that would be what, exactly?" I looked around for a way out, silently alarming the flock of birds and making them shuffle restlessly back and forth on their perches.

Her laugh was so beautiful, it was a wonder to me how such an evil person could make me feel so . . . calm.

No! I told myself. I wouldn't let her sway me.

The moment she saw that she was not controlling me, she spoke. "You."

"Then why did she want Avan?" I nodded down at Amy, not liking it one bit that my all-too-mortal boyfriend was now in dire danger.

"If she had been able to capture the boy, then you would have come running to save him, and I'll bet my immortality you would rather die than see the boy get hurt." She moved forward. I stayed put, looking at her in silence. "And if she wasn't able to capture the boy, well, you would have come to rescue him anyway, just as you did. You know, you are very predictable, Jade."

I didn't like that she could read me so easily. In fact, it infuriated me. I held on tight to Amy and pushed off the ground, but Lilith caught my ankle and pulled me down, making me lose my grip on Amy. She landed mysteriously in Lilith's arms, and I fell with such force, the concrete beneath me cracked.

I felt the anger build inside me. "I'm here, Lilith, so what are you going to do now?" I said, goading her. "You want me? Come get me!"

I waited, ready to materialize behind her or even across the street, but again she just laughed at me.

"I'm glad I amuse you," I said. I was starting to hate the way no one seemed to acknowledge me or what I could do. They either laughed at me or dismissed me.

"I will, child—when the time is right." And with Amy in her arms, she vanished.

I stood still for a few minutes, trying to compose myself. After all, I really had thought I was going to battle Lilith right there and then. When I felt as though I could move without my legs giving out on me I walked out of the alley and searched for Avan's car, which I quickly spotted in the parking lot across the street. Once I reached it, I tried the handle, but it was locked, I willed it open and willed the engine to start. The car smelled like him and made me long to feel his arms, his lips. I gently ran my fingertips over the rim of the leather stirring wheel, feeling the faint energy that lingered there. Then I drove away, back to him.

Another problem that needed to be resolved: Amy. I saw two possible outcomes for her: either she was as good as dead, or she would wake up and tell everyone what she had seen, exposing me for what I was. Neither scenario worked out well.

By the time I made it back to my house everyone was in a tizzy. No surprise there. Claire and Nate, in their own little bubble, were talking about the consequences of Amy's involvement, and the possibility that she had been possessed by Lilith—which, unfortunately, I had to confirm was true. They went on and on about strategies we could follow to get Amy back safely, but I was only half listening. I was more interested in Avan, who, at the moment, was gazing out the window.

"I am sorry about all this," I said, going over to him. Even now, with him no doubt furious at me for making his whole world crumble, I could still feel our bond. I gazed into his distant eyes, but they showed no anger.

"I'm pretty sure you hate me, and I can't say I blame you," I said to him. "But I will make it right." I turned to him and put my hand on his biceps. "I will not let anything happen to you, do you understand?"

He didn't respond or even so much as look my way. He just stared off again. I had lost him.

I let my hand drop to my side. My breaths grew shorter and sharper. I couldn't let him see me cry. He had seen my world and what truly came with it, and was walking away from it and from me. I knew it. I turned and went over to Claire, who sat on the couch, her left leg going up and down like a sewing machine.

"Why are you so nervous?" I said. "You've been around for six hundred years. I'm sure you've seen all this before." I sat next to her, letting the whole weight of my body slump on the couch.

"You don't understand, Jade," she said. "We have gotten too involved with mortals. This could turn out badly for us." Her eyes screamed in desperation. She shook her head as she added, "We can't lose any more human lives, or we'll be forever exiled from heaven." I saw Avan slowly turn around to face us. Hopefully, he would realize that it wasn't just him in danger, but all of us.

"Okay, we'll find Amy," I said. "Lilith is after me, so we'll find a way to lure her to me. What do we do once we have Amy, though? How do we get her back to normal? Will she remember any of it?"

"There is a special angel who would need to be called to erase her memories," replied Claire. "It's quite simple. She just needs to drink a purple liquid from a vial, and it's done." She must have caught my horrified look, because she quickly added, "She will wake up in her bed with no recollection of the past few days."

I nodded and hoped we would find her before anything worse could happen. Avan was still at the window. "What about Avan?" I said. "We need someone to watch over him." I was trying to work out all the ways this could go down, and was surprised when he spoke first.

"What about my guardian angel? Surely those exist, too, right?" He was now sulking on the other side of the coffee table, staring at Claire. His eyes were changing. They didn't have their usual wild sparkle.

Claire looked from him to me and back. "Well, when Jade fell she was cast as your guardian angel while on earth, but I will talk to them, since Jade is in extreme danger as well."

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "I didn't even know I was his guardian. Why didn't you tell me? I suck at this angelic life." My face was buried in my hands now.

"There are many things you still don't know Jade," Nate said. "It takes a really long time to get it all down, and sometimes, unfortunately, we have to learn from experience."

I swiped my hand over my cheeks and looked over at Avan. His eyes were killing me inside. The anger he shot my way cut me in two. I couldn't find any more words to express how wretched I felt about everything, and he was no longer listening to me anyway.

"Well, you may want to find someone else. She doesn't seem quite up to the job."

Ouch.

Claire looked over at him and cocked her head to the side, analyzing him. From the look in her eyes, she saw something in him I couldn't yet read.

I winced at the cut and felt the need to defend myself, but after all, I guess he was right: I was a pretty crappy angel. All I had done so far was create more trouble than I solved.

* * *

That night, I waited until everyone had gone to sleep. When I was sure no one was lying awake, I disappeared through the back door and onto the patio, seeing visions of my parents in happier days. I had done enough damage, and it was time to end it. I walked through the dark woods, the eerie fog churning about my ankles and hiding my feet.

It was time to face Lilith and finish this.

I wanted to get her as far away from the house as I could, so I had to rely on my mortal skills for now—my own two feet. Once I reached the cliff I let my wings come out. I was about to take the plunge when an unexpected rustling in the air behind me caught my attention. I turned around slowly. Usually, the impression of someone behind me was something I felt in my head. Not this time.

Lilith.

She stood tall, with her head held high as if she were some kind of royalty. Her hair billowed up like a blazing fire behind her, even though there was no wind. Her eyes had darkened, but the old sly smile was there as always. I saw a dark figure move behind her, but she didn't move. It wasn't just one but two figures. Now at her sides, flanking her in a low crouch, were Amy and...

"What are you doing, Avan!" I yelled. "Run! Go home!"

Obviously, I was having a dream—a really nasty nightmare that I needed to wake up from in a hurry. I closed my eyes as tight as I could and reopened them, only to find myself in the same spot with the same unlikely company. Had he betrayed me? Had he been with her all this time and just used me to bring me to this?

"What have you done to him?" I spat the words.

"Me? Barely anything, child. It was your sweet friend here who did most of the work. I just helped with the transformation."

Her smile rankled me, making me want to run to her and end her evil forever. But it wasn't that easy. Nate and Claire had taught me about her, and I knew she was a powerful demon whom almost nothing could kill. They never did get around to telling me what would do the job, but this wasn't time to go asking. I needed solutions. I had to think on my feet, and I needed to keep her busy while I thought of something

"What transformation?" I asked, genuinely intrigued. Did she mean the possession?

"Well, he has now become one of us, the undead." She ran her fingers through his hair, and he moaned at her touch.

"Get your hands off of him, you witch!" I bellowed. I wanted nothing so much as to rip her head off. "And what the hell do you mean, "the undead"?"

She shook her head and took a few steps forward. "Haven't those cherubim taught you anything, child?"

I didn't respond. She wasn't interested in how much I knew. "He is a gourd now." She shot him a look filled with lust, and he looked back at her with longing, as if he was actually in love with her. I felt revolted.

"A what?" I asked, feeling stupid. My two great friends and guardians had neglected to mention all this.

"It doesn't surprise me that she didn't tell you about it. You saw what happened to her mate. I can sense you have been there. His death was what created the gourds, and I have him to thank for that. Your little friend did not take it as well."

What the hell was she talking about? What was a gourd? I gave her a blank stare, and she continued. "You see, when those weak Angels fell into this realm looking for human women to mate with, the women didn't last. Their mortal bodies were no match for an Angel, especially a Fallen one. A witch doctor told Azael, one of the most powerful angels, of a way to create immortal beings so that he would never have to lose one of his mates again. But it was imperative that he get a pure angel, and the pure angel would have to sacrifice himself. Otherwise, it wouldn't work. Azael captured Shemer and mutilated his wings. A feather would have sufficed, but he had already been going mad. He hacked them off Shemer's body with Shemer's own sword and took them away to a deep, dark place within the earth. A pure Angel's blood and its feather are needed for the ritual. This contained pure heavenly divinity—an essence that all fallen angels had lost.

She moved behind Avan and slid her hands around his shoulders, teasing me. "Azael infused himself with the liquid. He thought he would somehow regain his lost divinity, and so he consumed it all. Little did he know that the pure essence was too great, and the unnatural mixture of divinity with damnation produced an unexpected result."

She shook her head and stared me dead in the eyes. I felt my surroundings swirl into pure darkness. All of a sudden, I was in some kind of underground tunnel. Its walls, ceiling, and floor were of rough-hewn stone. A man was kneeling with his back to me, pounding the floor with a stone the size of his big hands. Even from behind, I could tell by the way his body moved and by the strength he used to hit whatever he was hitting, that he had gone mad. As he lifted the stone above his head before letting it drop again, I saw it: a white feather, stuck to the stone by a smear of blood.

It was Azael.

He lifted a silver goblet and stood up. He turned toward me, and I froze. Would he be able to see me? He walked right past me, never lifting his gaze from the yellow liquid in the goblet. I looked back at where he had been, and there on top of a boulder, smashed to a pulp, were the remnants of Shemer"' wings. White feathers lay scattered about, and some had even gotten caught on the stone walls. The brutality of what he had done was beyond my comprehension. How could anyone expect to get his divinity back by doing something so awful?

I saw the shiny cup move. His grip tightened around it, and he with a deranged smile, he gulped it all down. The transformation was instant. I had no idea what to expect, but then, I was pretty sure he didn't, either. He had mutated from an angelic (albeit fallen) form into a huge, scabrous, mutated, boil-ridden monster. He was no longer a fallen angel. He had become something altogether more horrifying.

The mixed power of divinity mixed with irrevocable damnation was unnatural and corrupting. It appeared that the crime of forcibly stealing divinity from heaven had grave consequences.

There was a flicker of movement just past him, although he couldn't notice. He was too busy in his own suffering, wrenching and writhing back and forth, screaming out his agony. He twisted unnaturally, and the distant figures grew larger and clearer. Eight men were approaching him. As they came closer, and before allowing Azael to transform fully into the Leviathan (the greatest, most condemned form of darkness), they attacked him. The men"s dark wings erupted as they attempted to rip Azael apart so that they might infuse themselves with his stolen divinity. Somehow, it must not have occurred to them that what was happening to Azael had nothing to do with divinity.

Some of the dark angels gnawed on his limbs, and some tore his wings off. I tore my gaze away from the gruesome scene unfolding in front of me. The blood flew all around, and I moved back against the wall. I was afraid to be touched by anything that came from the corrupted creature. Eventually, their grunts and their victim's howling ceased, and I looked up. Azael's body had been torn into ten pieces.

The fallen angels whose bodies had been spattered and smeared by Azael's blood began to writhe in horrible pain. Where blood had splashed their wings, the wings burned away. Where the blood had splashed their faces and skin, gruesome melting and scarring turned them into hideous devils.

The most unfortunate, though, were the fallen ones who had bitten Azael, for they shared in a part of his fate. They became disfigured and horrible but also huge and powerful. Their disfiguration reminded me of the creature that had lurked outside the diner that night after the first day of school.

"These fallen angels were what became the first true demons—and the most powerful of them," said Lilith's voice.

I looked around, but I was still alone with the mutating creatures. I was glad they couldn't see me!

"Eventually, Azael's disembodied wings and limbs mutated and transformed on the very spot where they now lie," she continued. "His pieces continued to grow and change, and eventually each piece reached the size of several great cities. His broken, mutated body became the ten circles of hell."

"I don't want to see this . . . please," I said softly. The smell was nauseating.

"In due time, child, in due time. You see, with time, other dark and fallen angels who had learned about the distillation of the pure white feather, or pure divinity, went through the ten circles in search of it. They were attacked by the great demons, and tortured and mutilated until they became the lesser demons. A hierarchy formed of greater demons enslaving lesser demons, and all existed in the great domain of the ten circles."

"Why are you telling me this? What does all this have to do with me?" I screamed at her. I was now curling against the damp, cold stone with my eyes closed. I didn't want to witness any more. The pain the creatures were feeling carried in the air, and I could feel it in the very depths of my soul.

"Lucifer, the greatest of all angels, was more powerful than any other, and so his role was the greatest in conquering the fallen angels. He knew of the destruction of Shemer and of the transformation of Azael because he had seen it from afar. Over time, he learned the structure of the ten circles and learned of the enslavement of the demons.

"Lucifer conquered the great demons. It was really no fight for him, and his powers took control over all the lesser entities. He resisted being turned into a mutilated demon, because his divinity remained intact. So the ten circles became his domain.

"Azael paid the greatest price for his sins, and this was to become the closest thing to a nonentity. As a transformed being turned to an infernal realm, Azael had lost his mind utterly. The domain—what his fragments had become—was a world of viciousness though not of consciousness. Lucifer was allowed this domain to carry out his ordained task. He was to look over, dominate, and contain the fallen angels. As a consequence of this, after the creation of man, any condemned human souls were to be given into his care as well. The lives of humans were strange in that their free will allow them to be banned from heaven. Until the creation of the ten circles, there had merely been a dark underworld where the souls of condemned men might wallow in darkness."

She paused, and I felt the air around me stir and grow colder. I pulled my head up from where it had been resting on my knees, and saw the setting change.

We were now inside a small, ramshackle wooden house. A single candle on a small table barely lit the room. The air was cold, and from the small window on the wall I saw that it was snowing outside. There was a fireplace, cold and flameless, which I thought strange. A man in loose-fitting rags lay on the bed, asleep.

"This is Lahash, one of the original fallen angels," Lilith's voice continued. "He had been near the place of darkness when Azael was ripped asunder, though he was not involved in that foul business. During the chaos, a dark feather from Azael's wing fluttered to where he was hiding. The single feather was the only piece of the body that did not mutate, since it had not been attached to Azael's wing when the final transformation occurred.

"Lahash kept the feather secret and stole away to protect himself from the growing mutation that became Leviathan. He was inside this small house for over a year, wandering the streets at night looking for food and for women to terrorize. A typical man." She laughed softly. "Much later, after the conquering of the realm by Lucifer, Lahash returned to be a ward of the domain. He bargained with Lucifer to have a high position in the realm, and Lucifer allowed him to be protector of the unknown and forbidden territories.

"Lucifer had taken a full account of all aspects of the ten circles and had forbidden any creature to go to the places where Azael's essence was accessible. One such place was a spring, a pulsating geyser that emptied as a river of blood. This blood contained the transformative power, however diluted, that made a dark angel into a demon. Betraying Lucifer, Lahash filled a gourd with that blood and escaped with it to the earth above."

My surroundings changed again, this time to what looked like the inside of a barn. Hay covered the floor, and bales of it were stacked neatly in one corner. In the stalls were horses and cows, and against the end stall was a chicken coop. A man was inside the coop, and I recognized him as Lahash. He simply sat there as the chickens milled and pecked all around him, some even getting close enough for him to pet them.

"Lahash had seen firsthand the consequences of drinking that blood or being exposed to it. For a fallen angel, the outcome was grim. In order for the tainted divinity to be carried in the form of a sentient creature, Lahash surmised that the creature had to be neither heavenly nor damned, and the perfect candidates, therefore, were terrestrial creatures—but, more specifically, man.

He had done a few trial experiments, which he conducted with various animals. He fed about an ounce of the gourd blood to them, and the results were promising. With creatures of the earth, the mixture of divinity and darkness yielded the fabled creatures of myth: unicorns from horses, the phoenix from birds, wolf like beasts that were more monster than dog, the kraken from sea creatures. The creatures were each imbued with a kind of divinity, though some were pure and others horrendous.

"When the first mortal man was forced to drink the gourd blood, its power was too potent, and the man burned to cinders. Apparently, men were closer to divine beings than Lahash had thought. He had not expected that reaction in a human. After more experimenting, it was discovered that a very small amount of gourd blood—less than a drop—was all he needed.

"To dilute it further, Lahash made a calculated decision: he drank the single drop of gourd blood to diminish its potency. He was counting on not transforming too grotesquely and on not losing his mind. And the experiment worked, in a way. His form was ravaged. Days went by in agony, and almost all his angelic features, including his wings, hair, and much of his voice, were lost. His skin was blackened, and blood seeped out from within, turning his face a dark red. He had just enough left of his former self to resemble a human on all fours, though his neck was bent and his head cocked to one side."

Yes, this was it! Exactly what I had witnessed back home. I wondered if it had been Lahash that Nate banished from existence that night.

Once again the scenery changed, this time to an open field. Tall grass was everywhere, and a single majestic tree shaded a spot where two men and a woman stood. One of the men was short and dwarfish.

Lilith's voice grew softer and took on a note of sorrow. "Lahash collected blood from his skin and forced a man who lived with his family on the outskirts of a town to drink it. It was done in the middle of a field, and Lahash had to struggle mightily, for his arms and legs were bent like a four-footed animal's."

The man's family consisted of a red-haired woman, who was his wife, and their children. I walked closer to the tree and realized that the short man was the monster, Lahash. The woman stood between them, pleading to him, and when she turned to face her husband, I gasped, for it was Lilith! Their little boys were running around the tree, oblivious of what was taking place. Was Lilith showing me this so I would understand what had happened to her?

I wasn't sure, but it worked in part, because I definitely saw her through different eyes now. Lilith's voice had ceased, and I listened in on the conversation taking place. Apparently, Lilith had been abused and raped by a drunk man in town, and when Mathias had found out, he killed the man. Lahash was now using Mathias's guilt as leverage to make him drink the liquid and thereby get another chance.

Mathias agreed. Lilith was there to witness everything. She had seen the demon, covered in blood, hold her husband down as he transformed. This was the end of her husband's mortal life. The minute the transformation was over, they both dissolved in the air, and Lilith was left crying. Her little boys now surrounded her, hugging her and caressing her face.

Lilith"s voice came again. "Mathias had been successfully turned into a creature unlike any other." She spoke with pride. "He was neither heavenly nor damned, and he had been a terrestrial animal but was now something greater. Lahash looked in wonder as the features of the man were subtly changed but not distorted into evil. The effects of the gourd blood had been much like the effects on the purer creatures. This was precisely what Lahash had been betting on. Now there was a piece of divinity stored in a living, sentient vessel, one that manifested the qualities lost to the Fallen Angels.

"Mathias became known in legend as a gourd, named for the method by which the blood was stolen from hell. But the word had developed a new meaning, since the new creature was the carrier, the bottle, the sole new possessor of the essence of the gourd. Ironically, all was not over, and the very stealth and care that Lahash had taken in acting out his plans condemned him to incur the eternal wrath of Lucifer." The images changed yet again, each time showing me bits and pieces of what had happened.

"Mathias had apparently taken in, though the drop was small, an unimaginable amount of power. It sent ripples throughout the underworld, and almost all demons and fallen angels were alerted. Lahash felt it, too, and fled once again, leaving Mathias abandoned and out of control. During the time it took for Lahash to explain to Mathias what had happened with the gourd blood and to set out to search for it, much was lost.

Another fallen angel had already captured Mathias and quickly went into hiding. Mathias lived a short life because this fallen angel immediately drained him of his blood. In his haste, the dark angel had simply drunk the blood directly from him, knowing what the consequences would be. For ages, this demon roamed with the power of the gourd's blood. Because it was drunk from the human, the blood contained a new quality, as if each creature had imbued it with some of his own powers. In the blood was felt the torment of Azael. Then there was the hint of the betrayal by Lahash. The fear and simplicity of Mathias's blood were overshadowed by the taste and somehow less-tainted divinity. The demon knew this, and he waited until the time came to make a new living gourd.

I was now back in my own time, standing next to the cliff and Lilith, with Amy and Avan still in front of me. I looked at Avan and understood now what he was. His eyes searched mine and gave me the slightest blink. Their electricity was returning. Could it be that he wasn't completely gone? I felt the urge to throw my arms around him, but I knew I was meant to play along, and hoped he would be on my side when the time came to fight.

"I'm sorry Lilith," I said to her, meaning it. After all, she hadn't asked for what had happened to her, and her husband had only avenged her. "But how did you become what you are?"

"When that demon turned Mathias . . ." She looked at Avan with longing. Did she see a trace of her husband in him—his blood still alive in another body? ". . . I caught sight of a pristine black feather that had fallen when they disappeared, and so I kept it. I wasn't sure whose it was, but it was the last reminder of my husband. Over time, I slowly transformed into what they call a demi gourd. Eventually, I learned all the memories of Azael, of Shemer, and of the gourd blood made from his wings. I eventually felt the gourd's essence and searched for it. In it, I detected the essence of my husband. The rage in me took over, and I then banished the demon who was controlling the new gourd."

She looked behind me to the distant stars. "I kept the gourd for myself, sensing its greater purity. I eventually learned how the gourd was made, and decided to do an experiment. I drained some blood from my own wrist and added blood from the gourd. The mixture was fed to another human. The newest gourd was created perfectly and was mine to command, since my blood was an added component. The old gourd was still under the influence of the demon, so I destroyed it. I had powers unnatural for a human, and I used them to my advantage in tearing the old gourd apart and throwing it in the ocean."

Her eyes came back to me, and she smiled as she spoke of her first gourd. "He was unusually attractive once he had matured. I felt a longing for the essence this gourd carried within. However, I had become imbued with the essence of a fallen angel, and as a consequence, I yearned for what was lacking. The gourd was mine to keep forever, as long as stealth and secrecy were maintained—until your pitiful cherub friend stole it from me. I still don't know how it happened, but she destroyed my gourd. I found a piece of a disembodied limb and used it to create a new one, which lived in a dungeon for two years until you came along. So you see how surprised I was to find you in this realm—pure angels of your caliber are impossible to find."

I finally knew what she wanted me for exactly: to make new gourds. "I am not the only pure angel, though," I said, trying to buy time. Though I wasn't sure it would work, every fiber of me called out for Claire and Nate.

"It would have been rather poetic for me to use the woman cherub, given that her mate died at Azael's hands to become the one thing she has been pursuing for centuries: gourds. And so she had killed mine. You know, she has exterminated nearly every single one in revenge for her mate's death. Wherever there is a gourd, she will destroy it in hopes that no one will be able to create another one. But I hold the way how, and as long as I am alive I will keep creating them."

I stared at Avan. That was what Claire had meant when she said that if I ever shared my divinity with him, it would end badly for both of us. She knew she would have to destroy him.

I felt suddenly weak.

Avan"s eyes grew wide as he, too, understood the consequences—understood that once Claire found out, he would be done. I spoke to him in my mind, hoping he would be able to hear me.

"Avan. We need to get out of here." I stared at him, trying to gauge any change. "Can you hear me?" I asked again.

"I can. Claire is going to kill me, Jade." His eyes grew glossy.

"I won't let her. But we have to get you out of here. I'll distract Lilith and Amy. Do you know what kind of powers you have?"

"No." His voice was a silent whimper. Before we had even tried, I heard it in his voice: he had given up.

"Okay, when I distract them, you just run to me and we'll be gone."

I used my sonic scream, and a flock of eagles, bats, crows, and ravens hovered above me. And before I could even give the signal, Claire and Nate were by my side, crouched and ready for the fight.

The moment Claire laid eyes on Avan, she would know what he had become. My two best friends stood on either side of me, ready to fight. At the edge of the forest, Lilith stood tall with Amy and Avan crouching at her side. It was involuntary for him. She pretty much owned him now. He would do as she commanded, no matter what.

He cocked his head to the side, as if analyzing the situation and looking for a way to stay alive.

"What the heck happened, Jade?" Claire asked under her breath as she shot me a short but piercing look.

Was she talking about Avan? I mumbled something that was unrecognizable even to my own ears. I couldn't let her take Avan from me. It wasn't fair what she had gone through, losing her mate so that some fallen being could create a gourd. I understood why she was doing it. I was there when she lay over her dead lover's body, and I felt her pain. But this was my love, and I would not allow anyone to touch him, even if it meant I must die in the process.

"Why were you out here? What were you thinking?" she asked again, getting impatient at my lack of a response. At least, she hadn't noticed Avan yet.

I looked over at Nate. He definitely had spotted him. His eyes grew dark.

"So what do you want, Lilith?" I turned to her, desperation getting the best of me. "You want me? You want my blood? My wings? Take them! Take it all. I don't want any of it if it means his death." The tears welled in my eyes. "You have taken it all away from me. I have nothing left. So take me. Do what you must."

Claire gasped behind me, her hand gently holding on to my arm.

Nate took a step forward. Through my tears, I noticed the distortion in his face. The anger must have taken over, and he charged toward Avan. I was seeing it all happen in slow motion. I ran after Nate, wrapped my arms around his waist, and hurled him up into the air. I threw him over to the trees in the forest. He quickly got up, but I was already hunkering in front of Avan.

No one was getting through me. Claire's eyes widened as she took in what was happening. I couldn't be sure whether she understood what Avan was, or only that I had turned my back on her and Nate and was now protecting him and, in part, Lilith.

"Jade? What's happening?" she asked as she came a few steps closer.

I backed up until my back touched him. His touch made my whole body shiver in the usual way.

"I... I can't let you take him, Claire. I just can't." I felt his hands around my hips. Oh, no, he was going to make me lose control. I took a step forward.

"You have no idea what he has been made into."

Claire spoke the words between clenched jaws. Her eyes, just like Nate's, had grown dark. The gray in them was long gone, the pupils now dilated and sharing the same petrifying charcoal color. Her face contorted until it didn't look like my graceful, happy best friend anymore. Now she had transformed into a revenge-filled maniac. Her mouth went crooked, and if I didn't know better, I would think she was beginning the transformation into a demon. It would be a hard fight trying to keep her from avenging her dead lover.

"He's immortal—so what? I know why you're doing this, but, Claire, I won't let you. I love him."

I backed up and stood next to him, and he held my hand and spoke into my mind: "You can't do this, Jade. I can't let you choose between me and your best friend. What if I am a monster?"

"No! I love you!" I said to him as I grabbed his face with both hands and made him stand tall. He looked more beautiful than ever. I guess it was the divinity he had been infused with. His skin shone brighter, and his eyes began to sparkle again. His true self was coming through. I was lost in those eyes when I heard running footsteps approach. I pushed him off to the side, and he flew and landed against a dark, cold boulder. I heard something snap. There was no time to react and check on him now. I comforted myself in the knowledge that he was immortal.

Claire and Nate charged at me, and the way they moved send a wave of fear through my body. I couldn't believe this is what it all had come to: me battling against my two best friends to keep my boyfriend alive. Claire changed direction and was now headed to where I had thrown Avan.

Nate hit me with full force, sending me flying back a few feet. My back hit a tree trunk, and I fell limp to the ground. I shot to my feet and ran after Claire, who was now dragging Avan away. Where the hell was Lilith? I would have thought she cared about Avan, even if it was just a little bit. I grabbed Claire's shoulder and twisted her around with more strength than I had ever summoned.

I was momentarily distracted by shouts from Amy. She was all over Nate, who was fighting her off. She kept biting the air like a rabid animal, trying to get at him. Claire's leg swept out in a wide circle, connecting with my ankles, throwing me into the air once again. Before I could realize what was happening, I found myself flat on my back, sucking in deep breaths of air that seemed empty of oxygen.

Claire kicked me in the ribs in an attempt to keep me on the ground longer. It didn't hurt, but I was momentarily immobilized. She reached for Avan again.

No! I let out a grunt as I stood up, but before I could reach her, strong arms clamped mine against my sides in an attempt to subdue me. It was Nate, pulling me backward while I squirmed and yelled at Claire to let Avan go.

"Don't do it, Claire. Please!" I begged her. "It's not his fault. Please, let him live!"

She looked sideways at me, her face still dark with vengeance.

"I'll sacrifice myself! Please!" I sobbed. "Let him live!" I couldn't let him die. I tried to pull away again, but Nate had me in a bear hug.

Claire finally turned and faced me. "That's the whole point: I will not see another angel sacrificed for this." She pointed in disgust at Avan.

"Claire..." It was a mere whisper that escaped my lips. My hope fading fast. I looked behind me, where Amy lay crumpled on the ground—dead, I assumed. Lilith stood next to her, her eyes intently watching Claire. "Do something!" I told her. "I'll do whatever you want—just save him. Please!"

She looked at me for a moment. "You will sacrifice yourself to save him?" A grin emerged on her face. It was exactly what she needed: I had to sacrifice myself for her to continue the gourd bloodline.

"Yes." I lowered my head. I just wanted it all to be over. I couldn't see anyone else die because of me.

I saw Lilith move past us. Claire saw her, too, and before Lilith reached them, she pulled out Shemer's sword. In a fast, fluid movement, she plunged the sword into Avan's chest. Blood spurted out, covering Claire's clothes.

"No!" I screamed. Nate's grip lessened, and I broke free and ran to Avan.

Claire withdrew the sword, and it made a crackling noise. She moved back. Her face was back to normal as her bewildered eyes took in the scene in front of her.

Avan was on his knees, his hands pressed against his wound.

I slid my arms around him and held him, his eyes locked in mine. What had I done? How could I have let this happen? "I am so sorry." I kissed his forehead and lingered there, my tears rolling down onto his face.

His body went limp, and I laid him back against the boulder, still in my arms. He looked up at me, his breaths coming in shorter gasps. A gurgling sound from deep in his chest made me shiver.

"I love you, Jade," he murmured. "I always will." He took a long breath and closed his eyes. And he never opened them again.

I pulled him to me. The warm blood seeped through my clothes and onto my body. "I love you, too." I held him tight in my arms until my tears stopped coming. I pulled away and looked at him. Something was building deep inside me. Something was growing, changing. I screamed. This time I was full of anger and despair. The tingling in my back was stronger than ever. I kept screaming, not once drawing breath.

"Jade, I am sorry," Claire whispered beside me.

In a swift movement, I was on my feet. I could feel the features in my face change. Were they distorted as Claire's had been? I put my hand around Claire's throat and picked her up. I would kill her for what she had done. There was no turning back. I felt my wings unfurl, and everyone gasped.

Claire kept trying to pull away. Her own wings protruded. Nate threw himself at me, but I was far too strong. He kept coming at me, and I finally let go of her so I could finish him first. He quickly backed away from me.

Lilith took a few steps back and threw her arms in the air. "There is nothing left for me here," she muttered just before she disappeared into thin air.

My heart sank when she was gone, I would gladly have sacrificed myself if it meant I would be with him again. A dark shadow moved behind me. I twisted my head to the side and saw that it was no shadow.

It was my wings. They had turned black.

I smiled and looked back at my former best friends. "There is nothing holding me back now," I said. I took a cautious step forward.

"Jade, it had to be done," Claire said. It's no life being a gourd. He would always have been at her command, and sooner or later he would have gone mad."

I took another step toward her. "At least he would have been alive." The words were careful and full of conviction. Before I could lunge, a warm hand gripped my shoulder. I spun around, ready to kill. As I stared into his eyes, a smile crept into my face, and the darkness swirled out of control, consuming me.

When darkness consumes you; will it be hard to find the light?

After Jade's world was torn apart, she is unsure of where she belongs, if anywhere at all. Deceived by those she trusted the most, she must now accept her fate and the life that lays before her.  
The voices are back but this time, they are trying to lure her into the darkness. But could they be telling her the truth? That the only person she has been able to trust since the death of her boyfriend, Avan, is lying to her too? If the voices are right... Could she really trust him?

In Fallenmore, the second book in the Feathermore Trilogy, Jade will embark in a quest through the pits of Hell. The question now is: once she is in, will they ever let her out?

Lucy Swing lives in Florida with her two children and her superhero firefighter boyfriend.  
She is a YA Paranormal/ Romance writer, whose works include: The Feathermore Trilogy  
Feathermore (book 1 )  
Fallenmore (book 2)  
Forevermore (book 3)  
She has also written Bloody Valentine, which is a Vampire/ Witch novella in the Death By Chocolate collection, and is also sold separately.  
She is an absolute book hoarder and must always have a book at arm's length. She writes better when sipping on some hot, frothy coffee and music is her muse. Some of her favorites are: Breaking Benjamin, Blue October, Evanescence, Within Temptation, Fireflight, Sleeping at Last and Yiruma. But her taste is eclectic, just like her wardrobe.  
She loves the beach, or hanging out by any body of water, and would forever love you if you gift her books and let her sleep in.

