This whole hand is still numb.
Okay, let us know
what naughty places
you've put your sticky fingers
in the comments.
And cut. Good show, guys.
Ryan, you were off key.
When I speak?
Ahh, pitchy.
Yes. I just got an audition
for a Shepland car
dealership commercial.
Why are you auditioning for a
local car dealership commercial
when you're Comedy Central?
Digital?
No small parts.
Just small purple.
That is wrong.
Hmm, it's scripted but it says
they encourage improv.
Okay. So I'm a car dealer
and I love slashing prices.
Okay, best friends
listen to this:
"We take high prices
and gut them like fish."
Maybe something more
family friendly.
Right. Kids don't like fish.
"We gut prices
like little baby bunnies."
No!
I feel like this
isn't constructive.
All right, this is ridiculous.
Where's Natasha, she's not
responding to my emails.
She's been off
running her audition all day.
She's obsessed.
Yeah, I don't usually like think
about other people
but I'm worried she's way
too into this role.
What do you mean?
Oh, hello.
Might you be looking to buy
a car at a low, low price.
I sure hope so
because at Shepland
we make prices bleed out.
Natasha, I think maybe
you've been improvising
a little bit too long,
all right,
so why don't you put
the knife down, okay.
Oh, this thing.
Yeah.
Put it down?
Yeah.
Dudes, you gotta check out
the Street Fair outside.
Jordan, it's not the best time.
Peep these bomb ass shades.
Haaaa! Ahhh! What the ...?
Ha ha ha, you think
you're so cool, Mr. Dollar Sign.
Is that a knife? I can't see.
You know what I do
to prices like you?
She's way too deep
into character.
I'm gonna slice up the belly
of this unreasonable price
and let all the coins spill
out of his money tummy.
She can't slice me,
my face is my money maker.
Is that why you as poor
as you are ugly?
That's funny.
Sick burn, dude,
but it is not the time.
Wait, if Jordan dies
we have to do his work.
Ahh!
It's okay.
It's okay.
Mrs. Price Slasher,
I know you're mad.
Very mad.
Some things in this world
aren't fair,
like when you get charged
for things you shouldn't.
Like when you have to pay
extra for guac.
Or having to pay
for PornHub Premium.
Or having to tip.
Ew.
Come on.
It's not a thing in Europe.
Okay, but even if you
slash this one price,
what about the other millions
of high prices out there?
I don't know. I ...
Mrs. Price Slasher,
you have a family.
She does?
I do.
A knife daughter
and two shiv sons.
Think about them, they need you.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
And scene. That was great.
Wish me luck.
What the ... was that?
That means she was acting.
She good.
So come on down to Shepland
Car Dealership
where we make prices bleed out.
Okay. Maybe the next one
is closer to the script.
I feel like that's compromising
my vision.
And I won't do that
in front of my children.
Momma loves you.
